,Text,Sentiment
0,just finished my second exam only one more to go ,0.0
1,i was so much happier in prison ever since i came home mlife slowly fell apart im left with depression and severe dpdr i actually wish i was who i was in prison riddle me thatwtf,3.0
2,can depression be cured by positivity anxiety since  depression came at  and now i am  just had a thought is it possible for some of us that depression is just negativity thinking  and that positivity can cure or seem to cure us  surely brain training and looking at things in a positive perspective can help us ,3.0
3,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
4,reeselasher you guys are hilarious why not just do a webseries since theyre the next big thing will also help promote amy ,0.0
5,thewiselemonpie is it broken i suddenly cant get facebook to update via twitter any more ,2.0
6,is so sickcries ,2.0
7,everythings happenenig wayy too fast   jesus please slow the time down,0.0
8,lsn no problem thanks for your help my widget is working now ,0.0
9,get free tips and tricks on almost anything at httpfreetipsandtrickscom  make sure you scroll down the pages ,0.0
10,cut the recording session short cause it was going so horribly feeling pretty bummed out  and still have school shit to do too ,2.0
11,timorousme have fun sounds like a blast ,0.0
12,i really want to die i am feeling like my life is used to be complety shiti am  yo and the only thing i got at this time such a lot of painmy childhood was very shitty i didnt have any friends i get bullyied for be a creep for be ugly from prescholar to high school and un the highschool they made fun of not only for be ugly my body is horrible too flat as hell they took pictures of my body and my face and made memes with itand this nightmare wasnt only at school in my house my father was violent with me he always told that i was useless and cant do anything well he was a liar he said cruelty things at me and when i got mad he said that i started to scream for nothing my mom never believed me and hit me she always got mad at me and told me that i made fun of my family being destroyed  that my hapiness was making trouble the last time she throw all the clothes of my closet saying that it was the treat i deservedthe last year of high school i was very fucked i didnt want to know anything about school and my shitty partners i skipped class and closed myself in the restroom i started to have problems at focus in class and sometimes i feel like i couldnt think or do anything i started to listen at voices sometimesand there was something at school called life project that was like a subject i could lie about projects but really i couldnt do that the only thing that i had in my head and ended writing is  i dont know what to dolater i went to the scholar psychologist she cited my mom she told her that my father was a abuser that i could have depression my mom started to cry at least she didnt want to kill mei started psychological and psyquiatrical helpand now i am still feeling like shit my father is still being a fucking prick i hate him and my mom i dont even know what to think aboutmy family aunt and grandmother loves to justify abusers by you should forgive him because is your father and family is first and when i got depressed when my grandmother dont tell that i dont need theraphy or meds because it is only on my mind my mother starts a drama saying that she has done everything wrong she is a failure as a mom and i just say that anything happens when internally im so pissed by all the fucking shit of them they have ruined my lifeand why i lie i dont even know i feel guilty when she criesat the university i see my exclassmates that bullyied me at school they are so happy with friends and maybe with a normal family i envy themand at the university at least they dont bully me but im afraid i am ugly and a weirdo i am lonely and the few people i talk i think i will scare them i dont feel that it would get better i really what to diei could think just kill yourself but i am a cowardps i am from a latinoamerican country so i am still a minor and i cant start to work to leave the houseand this justify why i could have errors at writting in english it isnt my native language,3.0
13,hummm dodgers scored a hr stupid dodgers i hate them  ,0.0
14,noises inside my head hey anyone else got these weird noises in their mind at a depressive state of mind  not literal noises more like a feeling of everythings too loud and yet so silence at once so full and yet so empty of emotions stuff like that,3.0
15,time is an illusion and all time is now quotyou ready to have some fun  i thought soquot read ariels full article  ,0.0
16,has colds ,2.0
17,titanas awesome  i want to  get an slr for such stuff ,0.0
18,looking for advicehelp hi all ive found myself in a really bad position and im not sure what i should do to get out of it or what i should focus on just to give you a little historyrun downi used to be a healthy fit young man i would run   times a week and be in the gym on the days i werent running i ate healthy but also indulged a little here and there at this time i was earning £ a year and just had my first child i never did my driving test as my partner drove and i worked  hours a day  days a weeknow  years later i have two children gained around  stone and earn  i left my old position to work for a startup and then returned with a promotion but lower salary as i used to do a lot of overtime not available as a salaried member of staffnow my weeks consist of working monday to friday being careful not to spend any unnecessary money arguing a couple times a week with my partner over one thing or another then when she goes to work she works friday and saturday nights i get high order pizza then fall asleep spend saturday day with the kids then soon as she leaves for work saturday night i get high again or drink then order pizza sundays i will go out with my friends and do cocainedrinkeat i have applied for new jobs but cant bring myself to accept any as i dont drive and will struggle to make it there i cant afford to learn to drive because i abuse myself and spend all my money in a weekendi joined the gym nearly a month ago and have been once whenever i look for the motivation to go it just escapes mei also have a separate home from when me and my partner split for  months which i havent paid rent for since last month basically i know what i need to do i need to get rid of the other house go to the gym eat healthy stop the drugs learn to drive and self improve a little i just dont know how or where to find the motivationhas anyone else been in a similar position sorry for the rant,3.0
19,on my way home i got a free mocha at petes my grandparents are coming over for dinner my gma got a perm lol grandpa still really sick ,2.0
20, i keep lookin at that one but i dont wear pink and i have too much black clothes so i cant get it ,2.0
21,still trying to recover from the fall last fridayim feeling it now  ive fallen and i cant get up   cant even work out  ,2.0
22,im throughly fucked for this regents crapppapaloooza ,2.0
23,brittdixonpink i hoped we did but when i looked on the little locator thingy it said it was in wisconsinsigh ,2.0
24,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
25,had a mint day of photography photoshoot on tuesday how exciting  xxx,0.0
26,lads in aidanss  gn inny toon,0.0
27,very happy and looking forward to the future for once  i was with a bunch of friends on new years and i wasnt looking forward to the rest of the party let alone the coming of a whole new year filled with depression anxiety all the things that come with it etc i started to get into my depressed mood at around  on nye but i decided i was gonna try to go into  with no regrets as a little backstory in a junior in high school it may sound a little silly but ive been in love with this girl who also is my best friend been indirectly friendzoned more times than id like to admit since about freshman year i finally built up the courage to tell her that i have feelings for her she told me that the feeling was mutual and it just made my entire night ive had a smile on my face for  hours and im just so happy with life because of this just something i wanted to say because its all ive been thinking about im not going to sit here and say that everything gets better in time or anything like that for multiple reasons but just know that something small can make your day ,3.0
28,collinwolfboy lol staying up all night pigging out with junk food and no projects and tests thats just my own personal heaven ,0.0
29,peburns thats exactly what this mama is doing ,0.0
30,you need help professional help dr phil oprah,0.0
31,just changed my lip ring ,0.0
32,anxiety cartoons is my  cartoon zine focused and centered entirely around negative or uneasy experiences,2.0
33,wacom no im not ,2.0
34,ive lost my identity i was clinically depressed for over two years now after intensive therapy and a long rollercoaster im moving outhave finally moved out of clinical diagnosis my therapy sessions are spreading out more and im on the verge of no longer needing them anymore i havent seriously thought about hurting myself in a long time i dont know who i am without this thoughmy therapist and i have been talking about this the last few sessions i need to find an identity that doesnt revolve around me being depressed i dont know how to do that i dont know how to not center my being around me being broken i dont feel broken anymore but i feel lost who do i even talk to about this isnt talking about it playing into the problem isnt me asking my friends or my family who am i without my depression making it about my depression how do i let my loved ones know that im scared and lost without also making it feel like something is wrong with me i know that im not any less because of my depression i know that im not broken because of it but thats all i know and i need to know more,3.0
35,leahabernathy we will cry with you  lol hahahaha,2.0
36,ugh work til  then a paper and then have to study for a test  booo cant wait to get outtaaa summmaschool,2.0
37,i witnessed a murder suicide posting on a throwaway and i have been drinking forgive me if i sound like a drama queenhave you ever witnessed a murder had a gun or a knife pulled on you has anyone ever taken a swing at you unprovokedwhen something like that happens it embeds itself in your brainwhen you are alone with your thoughts they loop back on that moment over and over the worse the event the easier it is to revisitand after that post traumatic means after the event they call it a syndrome because it alters the way your brain processes  eventseach subsequent traumatic stressful event no matter how small or large compounds itself its cumulative these events add up on top of one anotherthey amplify one another those memories become more vivid more real than all other memory you cant really understand it unless you experience such an event personallyits like no matter how much time passes you can recall the details so vividly its like youre still there always the blood is always pooling out from under that doorthat bathroom always smells the same as it did on that day no matter how much disinfectant you use no matter how much air freshener you spray therethe feeling of breaking open that door and the dead weight pushing back on it from the other side it never goes awayyou may distract yourself temporarily from the sensations you experienced at the time but thats all it is distractionevery second you have for introspection instead returns to that moment i have never felt like i would end my own life but i can empathize with those who dothose who have i tell myself it is because i am a stronger person than them but i always fear that its because in the end i dont carei keep going not knowing if i am pretending not to care to protect  myself or if i am just a sociopath and really dont i fear that when someone i love dies i still wont know the difference,3.0
38,spicesierra sammmeeee minus the oil change  sucks,2.0
39,paulmonkey yeah ive gone from  to  stone in  months ,2.0
40,need advice ,2.0
41,rt  i only fw one person amp i dont even talk to that one person sad ,1.0
42,off meds and crying everyday ive been off medication for a month now and ive been crying everyday for the past week or two today i cried  or  times because moving house is so overwhelming i hate my new house and im going to miss my current house im also broke and need money but i honestly cannot work right now ,3.0
43,jacksons outdoor sales on rt  closing longtime schdy business sad  ,2.0
44,shegotitshebadd loool damn man ,0.0
45,omgosh vikki is sooooo bored  should i go skate park tomorrow,2.0
46,still in bed damn headache  zero motivation today x,2.0
47,sneakerhead if these fools gonna stress me all season gotta at least look plair during it,2.0
48,ah the pick nick was great but mow im missin my love ,2.0
49,raise your hand if your going to warped tour ,0.0
50,mileycyrus respectmileyc was right awesome interview come  australia the kangaroos r cuter in person or animal i promise ,0.0
51,im glad you had a good day and an amazing evening ben  did you hang up,0.0
52,เป็นอารมณ์ anxiety โดดเดี่ยว เดียวดาย,2.0
53,sukiidesu  oo naman bitin if you dont finish it ,0.0
54,kiraplatinum aww tell the whole fam hi for me ,0.0
55,saraauttenberg well what can i say i didnt asked to live in this dipshit doomed country that is  responsible of my depression,0.0
56,says mornin all sunny day again  barbi later harry   x,0.0
57,left a bit early but enjoyed the willie nelson i heard amp saw along with the rest of riverbend i was able to partake  going back tomorrow,0.0
58,is not liking this rain ,2.0
59,grey skies in new york welcome me ,0.0
60,wat is yr most bangin breakfast or cereal to kick start yr day off with im sooo hungryampwishes i hada  make me sum food  booo,2.0
61,today was funtastic only one day left though ,2.0
62,no ones gonna touch me im a foreveralone with suicidal depression i need to be held by fucking anyone at this point i dont have the money for a prostitute otherwise thats what id do i posted a craigslist ad but im a random  year old man and no ones gonna be sympathetic probably i need to be touched i dont know what to doi cannot leave the house i cannot and do not care anymore to develop social skills to find a woman nor would any woman want to date an unemployed balding  suicidal depression sufferer on disability i am at a breaking point to be completely honest what do i do i want to be held and stroked and comforted physically i swear to god i am not looking for sex i dont have my dog with me anymore my family wont let me live with them,3.0
63,rt maratheparth i mean the critic thing is just sorta what it is only  of critics liked it but wb should have had courage of their,1.0
64,gt krystynchong esukop buzzedition webaddict seekzpeace they rock may be habit forming   followfriday,0.0
65,playing rock band for the whole day has been fun i amazed everyone at my supremacy on expert aqualung drums felt good ,0.0
66,amandaholden glad youre back  loved your dress last night a rose between thorns sorry stavros didnt win though  enjoy ny x,2.0
67,what do you do to combat your depressionmental illness for me its been and always will be physical health exersice and proper nutrition has always been huge in helping me with depression especially side effects like lethargy brain fog etcwhat do you do,3.0
68,kingstackks you sad dirty ass,2.0
69,fuggirls awesome welcome to twitter look forward to seeing you here regularly ,0.0
70,sunkissedsam mmmmmph hows weather in africa london rainy   big hug to ya ,2.0
71,tonight was the first night ive genuinely thought about dying in a long time everything was my fault i turned my friends against me in my head we were all just way too drunk i shouldnt have been drinking so much but i thought i was ok now and could handle it we got separated at a big concert and somehow i got it in my head they all abandoned me ive already sent out an apology textthank god theyre cool girls i ruined my own night like always its been almost a year since ive been officially battling depressionanxiety ive been so low before but these past couple months ive been feeling so high but tonight i was so low for the first time in a long time just a nice reminder depression never leaves forever  im feeling a lot better since the past couple hours but tonight was such a low for me depression is still here babies does it ever go away im losing all hope  ,3.0
72,our pain reveals the best in us you reading thisyou can do this   is your year,3.0
73,i cannot believe i just lost my keys  down the side of the train ,2.0
74,dloversofficial  sorry guyslate reply ,2.0
75,therealgage  sweet deal,0.0
76,fashionnugget didnt even bother to respond to rs questions ,2.0
77,stamfordthelion chelsea tv email for guus tonight doesnt work and noones answering the phone  how do i ask a question,2.0
78,i  love sex drugs and rocknroll ,0.0
79,mattgoldberg  that sucks have fun wherever youre headed,2.0
80,dameelizabeth welcome home we all love you ,0.0
81,s heart melted while watching pacquiaohatton   httpplurkcomprfaau,2.0
82,tomme best wishes and rapid recovery ,0.0
83,working  double shift yesterday wasumm unexpected and i survived wooo  hrsyeahbut last night was wonderful ,0.0
84,i didnt wake up happy this morning ,2.0
85,i dont want help ive had major depressive disorder since i was a young child my parents are always trying to get me to go to therapy even though i cant ever tell them about myself i dont want my process of thinking picked apart by a stranger i go to a psychiatrist but no medicine ever works for more than  months my family always says i dont think you want help and theyre right ive given up trying to be happy a long time ago i dont think ive ever experienced true joy i just want to stop existing im so tired of this empty life,3.0
86,stephylineup werddddddddd it was superrrr wackkk vicdagreat nxt time  amp dont blow kisses when i drive by lmfaooo,0.0
87,im still out here im trying my best i dont always win but i cant always lose its not getting any easier but its trying to get betteri just hope youre out there the same,3.0
88,bossmobb single people go to clubs to get drunk and a have a night of meaningless sexsometimes even the non singles do the same ,0.0
89,thank god for me putting part of our tax return into savings  there goes our vegas money ,2.0
90,watchin making the band  i need take a shower amp  sleep but i really need to watch iit ,0.0
91,doesnt it suck doesnt it suck that just a few days ago you were the happiest man alive and now youre just alone in the dark with no one but your thoughts anxiety eating you alive and tears running down your facedoesnt it suck that youve never cheated in your life you took care of those important to you you respected their family friends relatives and them as a whole and after one night of just having fun you let alcohol get the best of you you let ego and pride blind you and you lost sight of the one thing that has always mattered to you until youve lost sight foreverdoesnt it suck that you wont be able to hold her smell her kiss her make sure everything is going to be alright protect her love her and make her smile because of a night of stupidityit does suck and now im alone and ill never be able to hold her again because i allowed someone else to kiss me and take advantage of meit does suckps im not handling it very well and i have no where else to write my never ending thoughts before it eats me alive and the darkness takes over,3.0
92,ericfarewell forget both have another coffee for lunch  ,0.0
93,im planning my second attempt  years old i hate myself no one loves me im done i have a lot to say but it doesnt matter ill give some examples of how people in my life treat me and how it makes me feeli just fucking hate every waking moment of every day the only thing i enjoy is sleep and i got  hours of that before work today god it just fucking hurts im anxious all day every day about fucking everything and ive been taking care of myself  ive been taking lexapro every day like i should working out  days a week eating right getting reenrolled going to therapy its not fucking working and i feel even worse than i did during my first attemptive been taking care of myself but nobody gives a fuck about me the  girl ive ever loved gave me the most intimate experience of my life a week later professed her love for me at a party she came to with her boyfriend and the next day told me over the phone she doesnt feel anything for me this was last week we knew eachother for  fucking years and this is how our beautiful adventure endsive been talking to this girl for  months that i like sort of weve been on dates and made out and she was my vday kiss we work nearby so i saw her for like  mins when her store was dead i went and got breakfast for her and we make plans to go to her place tonight now its oh sorry me and my friend just made plans oh and i forgot that other girl is staying the night i canceled going to a fucking concert with my brother and his best friend for her to do this again if you dont like me just tell me you dont fucking like me so i dont have to hate myselfhere okay this is the best one my best friend my best friend is a girl ive been close with for  years thats a quarter of my life i just got out of a  year abusive relationship with my ex and im finally after years of this happening and months of us being separated telling my best friend about the verbal physical and sexual abuse her reaction oh wow jaiden did that wow i can totally see that fucking nothing were talking about something deep yesterday and i finally reveal to her after a year of it killing me inside and no one knowing i attempted suicide and she literally just fucking ignored itim a normal fucking guy and ive been taking care of myself i was a recluse for so long and these past few months ive been saying fuck it ill fight through the anxiety and paranoia and ill do it ill be healthy i get a job get things sorted out with school i lose  pounds and regain a lot of lost muscle play guitar and sing like i used to and i just feel fucking worse and i try to have these relationships and it just makes it worseim not an asshole im not annoying or unfunny im a normal intelligent attractive guy who gives a fuck about shit and takes care of himself but no one cares about me you know that song behind blue eyes by the who that limp bizkit shat all over thats meid rather just go back to being alone because at least i had control id rather be an addict or an alcoholic im fucking tired i feel like shit every day and realize no one loves me or will ever love me theres just something wrong deep down inside and i just wasnt meant to be herethis is the perfect time of year for this actually that song thats life by frank sinatra  the message and the chronology he keeps trying and trying and if he never wins then it wasnt meant to be if theres nothing shaking this here come july im gonna roll myself up in a big ball and diei turn  july  if things dont change by then if they just get worse like they keep doing im doing it this time and im fucking doing it for real no pills and alcohol im going to make it workfuck it i hate fucking being here i dont want to live and i never fucking asked to,3.0
94,craving chipotle its  am wallets empty what is a boy to do  but happy his nbhd pushead shirt arrived safely,2.0
95,younger sprog is still sick elder sprogs birthday is still a go i get to stay home and miss my kids birthday ,2.0
96,i am so excited for next tuesday ,0.0
97,being fugly sucks i honestly dont know how im not going to end up killing myself being hideous is hell on earth and it just sucks the life out of me as strong as i am im not too sure if i will stick around just for my family life has bittered me and it really sucks to also be alone fuck reddit,3.0
98,my poor old dog waited as long as he could before needing to go outside poor thing hes getting drenched ,2.0
99,bad thing i wasnt able to watch their concert here in manila ,2.0
100,truck fully loaded and pointed toward charleston sc  about  hours and it should be completely unloaded  thx  praying,0.0
101,  my best friends last day in the us ,2.0
102,eaten my icecream and feelin a bit better  back to exam revision now  oh the joy l,2.0
103,i got this feeling at the pit of my stomach telling me to be sad but i legit dont have anything to be sad about,2.0
104,the three biggest things that calm my anxiety are food deep breathing and the office,1.0
105,got my warped tour tickets today ,0.0
106,staceyramos reflu are u serious i havent heard that one poss plannedwow hope you are ok its close to us here too ,2.0
107,i am ready when you are  vaca here we come ,0.0
108,going out to dinner ,0.0
109,sethsmaisy hahahaha im sorry maisy but an angel cant go to hell  and of course lets do itsee the movie that is laughing,0.0
110,peter martijn wijnia  sacrifices vast vision remix pretty much done  epic,0.0
111,somersetbob morning bobstarted nice hereseems to be clouding over now  hope you have a good day,2.0
112,i honestly dont know if im depressed or just an average teenager im not sure where at started but the first time where i actually felt like shit was when i was going through my first school exam since it was my exams i just thought it was because of a fear of failing but even after receiving ok results i felt like utter shit in fact i felt like shit for at least  months after it its like everything is dulled out or monotone and im not trying to sound edgy or whatnot all i want to do was go home to play games and watch anime i enjoy talking to people and acting a clown because i rather not have people be unhappy if i can try fix it everything is temporary and anything i try to give myself some sort of joy just fades and im just back alone constantly saying fuck in my headi dont want to say im depressed because its unfair to think im depressed when everyone has it worse and i dont have the right to ugh idkim  now and im waiting for all this shit to end because im hoping its nothing but puberty fucking with me but then again i feel like it wont endim honestly sorry if everything i just said made no sense im just looking for somewhere to let off a bit of steam idk,3.0
113,rt indomymenfess  regarding to the sad news today our fellow army said dont mention tas name just censored it we dont want t,0.0
114,revolutioniran  trust me i have cried all day ,2.0
115, looking forward to the show tonight cant wait for ol mate dhughsey to ,0.0
116,drivers ed while driving in drivers ed all i ever want to do is veer into oncoming traffic or off a fucking bridge i just dont wanna hurt any others ,3.0
117,is moar sad when ppl buli meh  ,2.0
118,metalrocks lmao  yes please can you teach me  tips to be a successful social networker too ,0.0
119,eating organic jelly beans ,0.0
120,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
121,run out of koflets and my throat is killing me ,2.0
122,i hope jmcdizzle has a fantastic weekend away from work ,0.0
123,meliciousness outlook not so good ,2.0
124, have fun im not in town  but enjoy the dmv area,2.0
125,serenemoments her spirits are much higher now bc all the jumpers rallied and sent wonderful jumps amp called her ,0.0
126,nooooo i was doing so good im not allowed to cry ughhh staying up late makes me think about stuff ,2.0
127,nobody has shared me a crock pot recipe ,2.0
128,its raining up north here tho been rainin for days ,2.0
129,how to help my bf whos planning on moving to another state to kill himself hopefully this is the place to post this but i really need help well more so my boyfriend i know hes depressed and he got a great job offer in another state so i encouraged him to go because i thought it would be good for him and his mental health but a couple nights ago he got drunk and just spilled everything out to me he doesnt care about the job offer at all and he saw it as an opportunity to move away from everyone here so he could kill himself in peace i have been trying to convince him to stay but obviously its not up to me i just dont know what to do or say ive brought up therapy and trying antidepressants or even just talking about it with someone he trusts and he truly believes none of it will work he feels so helpless it breaks my heart hes very sad that hell be leaving me and his  year old son should i contact anyone about this any ideas at all i cannot let him move away to do that i cannnnothe is  and i cant move with him because i need to finish school here there has to be something,3.0
130,waiting on chinese food ,0.0
131,fuckbetty i cnt ride a bike  i feel you ,2.0
132,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
133,cant deal with my life background  on medical leave from university no job living in my mothers  room apt  mg wellbutrin strained relationship with said mother and absent father diagnosed with mdd and gadi cant deal with my life i cant deal with my emotions everything feels pointless nothing makes me feel better besides binge watching series to forget i exist dumped by gf  years ago still not over it all my friends married engaged completing their ph d or some shit like that always abandoning my bas even though good grades but feeling bored and my whole life feels pointless no money no interests fucking alone and alienated people fucking avoid me no ones inviting me anymore confused all day long because of my fucking pills i feel fucking angry at everything and everyone cant go in public places getting nervous or anxious cant imagine a future for me dont want to eat dont want to do anything just want to cry but not even able to do that fucked beyond repair,3.0
134,is in pain  fuuuuuuuuck,2.0
135,is watching the grand prix with mark and neil ,0.0
136,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,1.0
137,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
138, they never sent them at all  i just realized today that they expired and the guy on the phone had no idea why i never gt them,2.0
139,as always i am up at  ami am officially old when staying asleep til  is late to me ,2.0
140,xlovelydearx why so sad ,2.0
141,frankmaresca omg u guys arguing is making me sad ,2.0
142,ha ha looks like im not eating my ipod obviously i can love but noone loves me  ,2.0
143, stuck on the    ,2.0
144,i took my rc car to the track for the first time tonight what a blast i bashed up the body and ran the battery dry ,0.0
145, uuhm thx  u forgetting it took me  hrs to get to mia i could technically be in capri right now lol  jk,0.0
146,rt yasmiinereda انا كان في مخيلتي اني هكتئب يومين تلاتة بس و الـanxiety تسبني في حالي من نفسها ,2.0
147,nancy hahaha thats hillarious its actually  degrees outside and im stuck in an office ,2.0
148,liseyf followfriday is a blind shout out recomendng ppl u like  followgoto httptwendzcom amp srch  followfriday  c ,0.0
149,animals complete a home highly recommend u get one if u dont already have one theyre funny ,0.0
150,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
151,at kalyns house now been here all afternoon and evening going to sleep now gnight  httpplurkcomprbrgm,0.0
152,is rooting through the faverlost property bin for something waterproof  bah,2.0
153,my sister is depressed okay so this seems alot more simple than it really is pretty much we moved  years ago from seattle to portland and it didnt affect anyone in my family as much as my sister when she left all her friends she felt like it was impossible to find new ones shes  now and one of her friends texted me talking about how when she goes back up to visit seattle like every once in a while shes constantly doing drugs and drinking while she is there and says she constantly asks her to drink when they are together this should be easy for to tell my parents but i feel like if i tell them this they wont let her visit seattle again even though she does have friends there who dont do this kind of stuff at her age any help with what i should do,3.0
154,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
155,mechanicalbride respect for my mom and i like coming home after a week for a clean room my bus leaves at  and i have to get up at  ,2.0
156,seasonal depression is a thing but i think most people get it in the winter im not one of them summer is my time httpstcocvrghfnwla,1.0
157,rt  i was sad u changed ur dp but then ur header 😂😂👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼sassy never disappoints 😉choicefandom btsarmy teenchoic,2.0
158,quotupdates mentioningquot seems to be deferred her on twitter replies dont show up in the timeline only visible via search ,2.0
159,ohmy foots hurting now about  minutes after i took it out though ,2.0
160,freyathoseby tossserrrrrrrrrrrr ,0.0
161,rt playstationau  hours to go in checkpointorgs kickstarter raising awareness about mental health using the power of video game ,1.0
162,i just want to happily go on with life for me not just because i dont want to hurt my family i just feel like a disappointment all the time lately i dont care a out myself and i feel the only reason id go on is for my family i wouldnt kill myself but the thought still goes through my mind i still think that i could but i wont for my family i feel all i do is disappoint them i dont want to add that to the list i have met kind people who want to help online or on specific apps but i still hide parts of myself and dont talk about me much i dont like to think about myself and i often talk to others and try to be there for then to partially get out of my mind and away from my life i dont care anymore i want to feel pride but i cant see that fucking happening whats it worth if i dont even like myself why go though life if i cant even like myself or get a decent life to enjoy i wont kill myself but i can still hate myself ,3.0
163,one i am bipolar manic depressive with a generalized anxiety disorder borderline eating disorder insomnia irregularity headaches arthritis irregular bowels its fucking ridiculous id be better off naming the parts of me that do work on their own i dont go to a therapist i dont take antidepressants dont misunderstand if you do and they help you then i am happy for you i truly am i dont like them i dont like talking about your feelings i take one medicine one prescription and i am afraid every day because of where i live but that one medicine that plant that drug that herb it saves my life every day if you cant find whats right for you try it it really fucking helps ,3.0
164, years its been six years since someone has been romantic with me six years since ive felt unconditional love six years since ive felt warmth in my heart and im really running out of steam,3.0
165,i feel like one of the worst feelings about depression isnt how the feelings make you feel this way everyone deserves to feel sad like inside out taught it only makes us human what i really dislike about depression is how much depression doesnt give a fuck about how much youre numbhurting inside surprisingly thrives more off of your numbness and painsuffering its a really weird juxtaposition to have instead of your body realizing youre in pain and trying to do all it can to alleviate it it instead submits even more to the depression and makes everything feel even more crippling and i know that while runningworking out being outside just doing anything at all thats distracting helps it still doesnt alleviate the thoughts enough to fully forget about it even after the activities are completed fuck i hate this ,3.0
166,im giving up at this point after  years with depression  years in a country i despise around closed minded people for almost  years a gap year and a dropping out after  years of studying a major i hate a controlling family and two therapistsi can assure you that ive run out of life and energy to carry on at this point no matter what i do depression will be here with me i feel absolutely nothing ive been faking emotions for so long that i no longer know whats real or fake i feel empty except for the anger in me that explodes every once in a while and hurts whoever triggers me im not worried about my education nor student loans because its free and i cant change my major because it would take me at least  years to do so thanks to depression because it basically killed half my braincells and i really dont have it in me anymore to sit in a class im on a new medication right now and you know what makes this even worse the fact that no one in real life knows that ive been seeing a therapist for the past six months because being the good guy means you shouldnt let people worry about you that includes not telling them that ive dropped out months ago im starting to use alcohol on daily basis to keep myself at bay but it doesnt help unless i consume a lot and it doesnt last long at this point the only thing that stops me from hurting myself is my cat because no one can take care of him but me i cant hurt him hes too fragile but im not sure i can keep using him as an excuse for long ,3.0
167,rndconnections ummm pamncakes amd mimosassounds wonderful what time should i be there ,0.0
168,lisalavie just finished watching your last vid congrats ,0.0
169,last day of school yay ,0.0
170,hopesterr leaving now ,0.0
171,donniewahlberg    nice wish i was there,0.0
172,people i thought i was close with pretend i dont exist i get that people have their own things and the said person went through some shit time but the fact they do things with other people and ignore me completely is depressing i thought we were close very close i guess i was wrong i sit all day hoping i would get texted just to be disappointed daily its pathetic i get attached way too easily and disappointed in the process and it keeps happening i thought this time wouldve been different,3.0
173,ugh boys they seriously suck ,2.0
174,i made a lot of money  shiiit,0.0
175,thisislilwayne i seriously fuckin love all of these people in this video ,0.0
176,going picking up some stag do tshirts later on cant wait to see what they look like ill post a picture when i get them ,0.0
177,justinmgaston haha sometimes mobiles makes us slaves  but it has its own advantages too ,0.0
178,mayhemchaos bokehlove go see star trek its quite a great movie katherined and i really enjoyed it  makesalswifewatchstartrek,0.0
179,lulazoid ta  we had these regularly in maastricht i cant make it to this one because ill be in canada in june,0.0
180,off now to have a bit of early lunch then perhaps a siesta  hope to catch up with you all later have a good day xx,0.0
181,ugh redbox is out of madea goes to jail ,2.0
182,stephsavespluto he needs to turn that phone of his back on i didnt get a chance to harass him ,2.0
183,shibby ja dann have phun   ooh brighton beach,0.0
184,anyone else feel worse when the weather gets warmer im not sure if its just me but this is the second year in a row where ive noticed that i feel more depressed as the weather gets warmer im on spring break right now and my depression definitely has gotten worse im was planning on going to miami with some friends but i just dont even feel like going anymore so whats up with this warm weather depression,3.0
185,rt  both insidemindspgh and dbsalliance by our staff were featured as the  top mental health podcasts huzzah ,2.0
186,sometimes i wonder if i really ever did hit my lowest i went into this year with plans of it being my best year but my hopes for that are slowly sinking for those who read my previous post hi im back and im still not better for those who didnt hi this is what its like to be in my head kind ofi live with my family right now of people who dont understand me who get mad at me for every little thing i do and tell me its an attitude problem people who tell me to get over my fears and the things that cause me terrible anxiety i cant even breakdown here without my feelings getting invalidated or being considered overdramatic i have no freedom and when i get the opportunity to go out and have a good time theres always something they blame onto me im  yet im treated like a child i get told all the time im lazy messy not responsible because how ive been since summer started when really its not that its depression anxiety and stressi literally have nowhere to myself and it sucks because i try so hard to get better but i feel when i take  step forward i end up taking  back i know that in a few long weeks this will all be over but its back to being in school full time and working part time again and im scared thats gonna be too much oh and dont get me started with money im on the verge of not being able to afford rent while my mother says she wont help me if i cant pay ittoday for example turned into a whole bust i was out with friends trying to get photos for our assignment and none of my photos would come out right at all and theres a  chance i cant complete the assignment and it sucks because nothing at all even before that could go right for me to conclude i really dont know some days are better then others but then are those days where my depression and anxiety overtake everything i usually always express my emotions in my music its been my escape since ive been in depression but this past week or two ive been losing motivation for that and other things i love as well i know there really is the light at the end of tunnel i just dont know how much longer i go until i find itthank you for taking the time to read this if you made it this far,3.0
187,ordering new phone soon ,0.0
188,i need custom jeans every store i go to has nothin but tight jeans now thats sad ,2.0
189,waking up early for me on a saturday morning yay trees down all around the neighborhood but my car was not crushed neighbors is tho ,2.0
190,great man great coach sad to see him leave,0.0
191,the redsox lost today  sad moment,2.0
192,in other words i tweet shit that no one sees and its sad,2.0
193,we welcome a new angelaseye contributor interness  alexwashington look for some goodness coming from her ,0.0
194, i knew youd crack under the pressure eventually ,0.0
195,rt relijoon hoseok why u sadnamjoon i dont know nan molla ,2.0
196,my death is what caused kotetsus downfall into depression,2.0
197,epiphanygirl ill have grey goose w my juice this is like a dream a bad one ,2.0
198,its getting worse im reaching the point soon where ill have lived half my life depressedanxioussuicidal and i realized ill never have it in me to actually do it so now i feel like im living out a life sentence ,3.0
199,sad childhood when i was younger none of the kids at school really talked to me i always knew that i was the oddball i was never invited to play tag or play basketball with them and when i tried to include myself id get shunned or chosen last one kid well call him andre took me under his wing in  grade he became my best friend we did everything together in school he always made sure to include me in everything he really enforced it by saying if you pick me to be on your team then hes me coming with me that gave me reassurance that ill always have someone to be by my side i began to envy him i wanted to be like him he was good at everything and liked by all the other kids then the  grade came and andre started distancing himself from me he stopped talking to me everyday the last thing i remember andre telling me is that hes moving and hes going to be in a different school district he comes back in grade  he left me back where he found me alone in the dark  but there was this incident back in grade  the first day of lunch i sat by myself in the middle of the cafeteria for a month straight a month not one person attempted to talk to me until one of the cafeteria ladies came and talked to me and later introduced me to my doom a girl best friendme and the new friend well call her julie julie talked a lot that day it felt good to connect with someone after feeling detached from everyone and everything it felt good to have a friend to talk to everyday especially since i was so isolated she gave me a sense of importance like i actually mattered to someone  since girls never really talked to me and kind of avoided me i started to develop feelings for julie i had no idea what having a crush felt like but it felt amazing it felt good to be happy later i found out that julie said she had developed those same feelings for me  i was so ecstatic i didnt know what to do ive literally never been happier we start going steady thats the best way i can describe it for about a year all was great i was the happy little boy i always wanted to be i was happy i made someone else happy for once in my life i did not feel like i messed upthen after midterms julie breaks it off with me she just drops me entirely she dropped me for andre the two most important girl in my life dumps me for my best friend that was what started my depression depression of love rejection i started to blame myself for julie leaving me saying things like what could i have done differently to keep her with me or maybe if i had done  she wouldnt have left me im such a fuck up i guess this took more of a toll on me than i would like to admit now i subconsciously think that every woman who says they have feelings for me is lying so whenever they tell me that i tend to distance myself from them so i can protect myself and bc of andre i feel that every friend i make will fuck me over in some wayi know plenty of people wont read this far but if you did i thank you for taking time to read how shitty my life has been,3.0
200,but muuuuuum i dont waaaaaana get out of beeeeeed ,2.0
201,smallest cut in the world on my finger but its so so painful ,2.0
202,awesome morning with ninalo she is full of win ,0.0
203,my i key is being dodgy ,2.0
204,been a gurd weekend weather was gawjuss  ope it stays like it should of revied  maths exam   dnt wanna do it oh well ,0.0
205,sofauxreal hey girl  u  ,0.0
206,dead and tired ,2.0
207,think i oughta get some housework done being as theres no sun ,2.0
208,cleolinda dont worry stephenfry is getting flak from both sides too to either keep going or t to shut up cant win really ,2.0
209,i would die in the first  minutes ,1.0
210,rt vmiguelg depression has no face even the happiest looking person you know could be experiencing it,1.0
211,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
212,sitting at the cornish pasty co waiting for my togo order  celebrating a belayed cats bday ,0.0
213,good morning geeeeeermany  sun is shining birds are singing and the gardeners are cutting gras very loudly,0.0
214,orangeflowers morning em sorry you had computer problems  i mentioned youyou can listen to archive  pamper when you have time lol,2.0
215,karthik yep i realised once i had tweeted ,0.0
216,i am gonna create a club on fb for people who hates renesseme  lol,0.0
217,chuckiem hey am doing well thanks and no worries keep up the good tweets you have an audience ,0.0
218,just took a cold shower after an intense workout  amp now im ready for a nap haha ,0.0
219,why do ppl self harm by self harming i mean slit there wrist i have been really depressed but never seen the reason to even do it i am not asking this so i can try it myself  but i want to know what does it make others feel that they make self harming a habit,3.0
220,clienta get well soon ,0.0
221,tashmusic if i would be there i would order again eat the tempura pay for both and we would have a happy day with no  smilies only ,2.0
222,transformers  wooo  on the bbc right now  no shiadarn it,2.0
223,vgnasty were looking at league city  rob already looked into  diff complexes so gonna check those out first,0.0
224,i might have an aneurism ,2.0
225,sugarsharrk hey i was scared last night at  because of you and i had several bad nightmares ,2.0
226,ahhh off to work we goo ,2.0
227,its  and im already dripping sweaty  thanks orlando,2.0
228,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
229,dambold the spots itself dialogues what characters do maybe not but the whole style is definitely rocks ,0.0
230,just need to say stuff i have lurked here every now and then but i feel like i just gotta get some stuff out ive been going to college and was set to graduate this may but i realized i hate my major and i kinda just shut down i totally did nothing for my online class and i skipped all classes for the last four weeks i still live at home feel like i cant yall to my family because i cant handle their pitydisappointment i feel numb instead of school ill just get in my car and drive aimlessly for hours till its time to come home so i can do nothing g but stay up till  am and sleep till noon ive lost all interest in my hobbies and have no friends that are home and when they are home all we do is drink last time we hung out i drank so much i puked all over myself in my friends basement i dont even remember it for literally the past  weeks i tell myself ill tell someone what im going through but i cant i hate what my life has become but at least i know i wont get pity here cant stand the thought of pity dont know why ,3.0
231,im feeling scared theres a guy stalking me since  years now i dont know what to do im really scared of him he tries to reach me all the timeive always blocked him from everywhere and his friends also somehow by idk maybe co incidence my parents had to change home he doesnt know about this home earlier he used to stand in front of my home all the time idk for many days thats why i stopped going out also now i also i dont go out muchfor few days he has stopped but now again he has started troubling me idk im very scared i dont know what to do i cant tell anyone i feel like he will kill me coz by now im sure that he is a psycho no normal person will behave like this or have so much patienceim scared of boys coz of him only ive never talked to any guy now im just scared of everything i want to get out of this place but i feel like hell come there also earlier i used to talk to him but when i got to know hes not a good guy i stopped and ive apologised also many times but still hes after me idk what he wants i feel like killing myself i dont wanna live scared all the time im only  hes always gonna be after me im always scared when i go out of my home that he will follow me ive cut off from all my friends also coz of him i feel like a loser but im scared also i dont want all these bad things in my life i dont want my life to be complicated ,3.0
232,get to spend my weekend working on my finals ,2.0
233,wow there some really hot guys  the new whole foods by kingsburyhubba hubba ,0.0
234,aishwaryarao nothing that i do or give can be termed general especially by u ,2.0
235,painting my nails orange at  am texting my girl  maybe ill get some sleep when my nails dry,0.0
236,is  ,0.0
237,stevespence actually i just kindly asked   itll be out very soon beejive,0.0
238,im broken  aka temporarily in need of maintenance,2.0
239,wahoopooh lol yup you read right since  ,2.0
240,loulalala grandson cameron has named them all but he said he doesnt know whether they are quotboys or girlsquot how funny ,0.0
241,i got that nasty cold thats going around  i need to stop working my tush off i wracked up so much ot its not even funny,2.0
242,curiouslp following you now ,0.0
243,getting my nose pierced hopefully tomorrow ,0.0
244,shannonherod i love that quote really needed that today thanks for sharing ,0.0
245,paigejavier haha thanks hes not gonna reply ,2.0
246,i just killed a brown recluse in my apartment and now im too afraid to go to sleep  ,2.0
247,doesnt have cookies to sell today  she get home just too darned late,2.0
248,acupofgreentea today is the last day for god sake ,0.0
249,lisgreen im going to one tonight ,0.0
250,sfxladyj i am so jealous of you guys  ,2.0
251,tessmorris ohhhh gawd almighty ,2.0
252,cant find anyyyyone on twitter ,2.0
253,dont know what to expect from life hellonormally i dont talk about my feelings i really cant with the people i know but im currently at a point in my life where i ask myself what i really want out of my lifei started questioning why everything seemed to work out good for me but for some reason my accomplishments feel a little meaninglessi dont really enjoy anything that is even remotely connected to my personal self more than a short nicei dont know if this is some kind of depression because i can laugh and have fun and all that but somehow if im laying in bed i question for what greater goal im doing all the stuff in my lifei also started to question my own gender m and in hindsight i did many things in the past ironically that were probably not ironically my problems could probably come from this too but im not really sure about that onemy life currently feels like i am walking on a bridge of ice in the middle of the sahara im can feel the ground melting and im not going to reach the end before it melts down im really at a loss on how to proceed from here currently life is still okay but weird but since these feelings already strengthened over the past  years i fear they will get me into big problems if i dont do something in the near futurewould appreciate any kind of advice,3.0
254, hi sweetheart missed ya ,0.0
255,finished another mep part two three more to go i lost track xd excited for the mtv movie awards tonight ,0.0
256,asummoner u r always welcome except for end of semester exams period ,0.0
257,malakithemosthi  thanks for securing my computer lovey ,0.0
258,yea on the plane now more waiting  wwdc,0.0
259,rickyrivaro did you saw that black dark windowed car passing you i was waving at you doing  ,0.0
260,i want to be happy i have a court case coming up for this thursday to keep a long story short my ex boyfriend assaulted me and was saying some pretty awful stuff to me he is also posting on reddit claiming that i raped him when in truth he was the one that did so to me  im extremely nervous and its taking a huge toll on my mental health how do i survive this,3.0
261,ashsimpsonwentz   haha his heads bigger than yours awwwh lol ,0.0
262,i decided its not a good idea for fair skinned girls to tan ,2.0
263, is so shit idek where to begin but towards the end of  i lost my bestfriend are friendship kinda fell apart we where friends for  years my great grandpa recently got diagnosed with bladder cancer and hes to old to be treated so he has little time left my girlfriend dumped me about a month ago last but not least my best bro the mf i would of chosen as my best man if i ever got a wife decided that he doesnt feel like we connect anymore that hes just drifting and that hes probably not my friend anymore i knew him since  grade like damn  is by far the worst year yet if i didnt have family that cared about me id honestly take my life,3.0
264,pretty much replaced breakfast with giant coffee bad habit to start ,2.0
265,bbxchg thanks to you  just made my day lol so do you have any idea,0.0
266,im not good right now but theres no reason this time ive had my moments before bad days weeks months years sometimes i fall into a hole and find it really difficult to get out of it usually though theres a reason my parents getting divorced losing a loved one being in an emotionally abusive relationship were three reasons ive become extremely depressed in the past but now there isnt really any reason for this depression funk im in im in a loving relationship with a boy who cares for me more than i believe i deserve my parents and i are on really good terms and much better terms with each other than they used to be im finishing up my junior year at uni and doing well in all of my classes i have a bunch of new friends who genuinely care about me i dont know where this came from but i feel like its only going to get worse and i dont know what to do,3.0
267,rt dyllermau im so fuckin sad,2.0
268,  another view right from my bed its a pity that i must go to work ,2.0
269,alone in a crowded room its been  months since i had a massive falling out with my best friend he was like a brother to me and my rock my family always made it worse and told me i was ruining the family but he was always there since then i have made as much of a recovery as possible i bike every day have multiple friends i talk to and hang out with a therapist other people to support me and have repaired relations with my family but still i miss my friend i find it impossible to do things that remind me of him i feel like theres a void and im trying to fill it with all this stuff but it wont work i feel like its because of a lack of closure as he just stopped talking mid argument a few months ago he messaged me saying we were absolutely still friends and wed travel the world together like we talked about and disappeared again further confusing me and setting me back in my recovery any advice on my situation,3.0
270,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
271,rt vyletpony bronycon this year was an adventure in itself ive never met so many friends and supporters before it was incredibly heart,0.0
272,jubileelau cant believe people actually asked you that  hmmm jubilee is a real name  ,0.0
273,scottataylor cool  how many is quotpackquot,0.0
274,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
275,stlphoto awesome thanks for sharing you have very enticing photography ,0.0
276,finally home  ooofff with ugly weather i want to be at the beach,2.0
277,rt jtitialii my crippling depression ,2.0
278,my anxiety is on ,2.0
279,vmcconville  poor lad tom my other half and two of the lads at work suffer with it too doesnt sound nice ,2.0
280,is loading up the car for a drive through pa ,0.0
281,having stomach issues  god i hate trying to adjust to a new eating scheduale wowthat sounded bratty oh well its true,2.0
282,new decade going into this new decade i thought everything would go my way i was going in with confidence and motivation i had just been up in seattle to see my girlfriend long distance relationship after  months had my goals set and everything not even  hours into the new year which i spent alone her and i get into an argument and i eventually lose her completely the day before i leave back to texas she was my everything she was all i had im  miles away from seattle which i consider home and the only place i want to be and alone i just feel empty now i cant see my future at all anymore,3.0
283,i feel like i dont know myself anymore this is my very first reddit post my hands are shaking even as i write this i dont have a good grasp on the intricacies yet so please excuse any beginners mistakes while youre at it please excuse any grammaticalspelling errors too i tend to make a lot of those while writingmy story isnt anything special im a young man with the mind of a little boy whos spent the bulk of his life shunning companionship in favor of video games i dont know when i started to feel the way i feel but what matters is that i do now i try to refrain from saying the d word part of the reason i do that is for fear of misusing the name on myself i dont selfdiagnose and there are people who are doing far worse than i am id feel guilty carrying that label without a good reason i flunked out of college its because i just cant do it its not that i dont want to i just cant does that make any sense to you guys i try explaining this to my parents and they just dont see it they called me lazy they said i was just afraid of college i was shocked how could they think that my tears of anger frustration and despair was all simple lazinessbut then they tell me about the world for the hundredth time they tell me how nothing comes free and how theres no handouts in this world and somehow manage to tie in us being po strugglin black folk as motivation to get a degree i know that nothing comes free i know college isnt the only option but its probably my personal best bet at that moment the emotional roller coaster begins i feel like i should be listening to what my dear parents and others say at the same time however what the hell do they know nobody knows me better than me right but theyve said theyve been through similar things similar maybe but not the same mother tells me that ill rot away in my room ill die a nobody because i never socialized or tried to do better for myself but i do try i really do its just too hard am i not trying hard enough are other people my age constantly reflecting on past mistakes and fearing the future at the same time or am i just seeking attention how do i know for sure im in a constant tugging match with myself just posting here makes me feel guilty like dude youre a stupid kid who gets the blues a lot there are people here who have actual fucking problems the more i try to wrap my head around it the more stupid i feel and let me tell you its hard to make someone as stupid as me feel even stupider i feel like i dont know myself anymoreor maybe i never did in the first placeim honestly just using this place as a last resort im not trying to sound angsty when i say i feel that ive been surrounded by people who simply dont understand how i feel for such a long time i know its desperate but fuck i could go for a bit of compassion right about nowthanks for liste err reading if things go well i think i might post more preferably when im in a clearer state of mind i feel like my writing was disorganized,3.0
284,share your thoughts with me hi im wren im a new subscriber to this subreddit but felt i should join the community to provide support to whoever wants it i love helping others and if you comment on this post with a request for attention ill talk to you im your friend ,3.0
285,living a double life ive been depressed since as long as i can remember  thinking too much about everything worrying about everything being insecure about my place in it all  but ive always been able to separate my work life for the most part  im a social worker  i deal with people all day and i help them and guide them  ironic actually since my own life is hardly thriving  i present as happy funny and generally people tell me it seems like i have it so together  when i get home from work though especially recently during this recent bout of depression its like that other me falls away and im left with whats really underneath  a blob of a person that just wants to melt into the couch and escape from reality  recently that escape mechanism has been binging my favorite scifi shows engrossing myself in the emotions and stakes there that im not feeling in my actual life  this dual me  the one everyone sees and the one thats really there  its exhausting  and it also keeps people from helping me because i seem fine  my friends outside of work well ive pretty much pushed them away and my best friend moved to colorado so i dont really have anybody reaching out to help me at all  im trying new meds but i dont have any motivation  showering brushing my teeth cleaning the house eating an actual meal  i can barely do these and dont do them consistently  im drowning  im hoping the new meds help im waiting for that feeling of motivation to come back  i wish i could take some time off of work to focus on the real me but thats not feasible  i have to keep the game going  the double me  i wish i could connect with someone that could help me through this  ,3.0
286,shortych it really really does suck    xx,2.0
287,friendless dumbass here dont mind me  days ago i found out that i just failed math and auto tech in school failed and i hate school and not for the normal reasons like that we have to do work n stuff but i hate it because im so lonely a guy with no friends who sits by himself self alone all the time  the quite kid at the back of the class who gets made fun of by calling him a school shooter cuz he is so socially awkward the only thing that brings me peice nowadays is playing game by myself in my room and going out to play bball by myself i would love to honestly play with someone else but i have no friends and my parents are very strict with me so now that i failed i will no longer have my games and i will start going to summer school next week my parents are disappointed in me i have no friends im a dumbass and now im going to school again during the summer ,3.0
288,kateedwards the key of the app store is having an itunes account once you have that its just joy ,0.0
289,johnfoley ahah wows i love sleepings in the car ,0.0
290,just got my feelings hurt im heading for a depression nap now and ill wake up a different and stronger bitch ,1.0
291,ugh cant sleep amp havent been able to all night cause of my damn wrist ,2.0
292,im quottweetingquot soo new at this and sooo behind with the times ,2.0
293,is going over to caitlyns  ,0.0
294, im with ya on that one sis ,0.0
295,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
296,mom said no to the doves coworker is going to let them loose aaahhh  i want them i even have a picture of them on my cellphone,2.0
297,loves clean sheets ,0.0
298,someone keyed my car ,2.0
299,agnesrooos hey baby ,0.0
300,wow just got news that i may be going to china this summer to present my research paper are parts of my dreams coming true ,0.0
301,jonasbrothers yah but not in canada till later ,2.0
302,im struggling with depression for almost  months and im already tired of all of this last year between the end of september and the first days of october my life was going trough some changes that i couldnt expect mostly in my social life back then and i started to feel very lonely and sad and insecure about how things would turn out in the next months all of this was going on at the same time that my best friend was about to move to usa im from brazil and stay there for like  year and a half and when he finally moved everything collapsed lose someone so close to me and deal with all the changes that was happening at once made me break emotionally and mentallysince then i started to have some depression symptoms like anguish demotivation anxiety crisis and it all just got worse in the last months i feel this pain in my chest all day and almost nothing can make me feel better im not being able to concentrate at work because all the time i get distracted by what im feeling and the bad thoughts the come to my mind every second about everything that its not ok in my life what makes me desperate all the time because i cant see any exit from all of thisi have some friends that are helping me as they can and giving me a lot of love and support but even with there help this pain doesnt go away and the joy that be with them give me doesnt last for too long were going to have a pizza night next friday at my home and im not even excited about it actually im worried because i dont know how ill be feeling that day and i dont want to be sad and have to force me to look happyim not fluent in english so i dont have the vocabulary to really express everything that im feeling im just tired you know tired of seeing my whole life being dragged by deppression piece by piece tired of having to focus everything on my recovery and not being able to do things that i used to with the same energy and motivation that i had before this tired of this anguish tired of being sad all the time tired of feeling lonely even when im not alone someone posted here a couple days ago that everything he wanted was a shoulder tro cry to hug someone who really cares about him and let all the emotions out and right now thats what i really want too just cry to see if ill feel some relief of everything thats driving me crazy inside but i dont know when ill be able to do itnext month ill start therapy so i really hope everything will be better i really doand to all of you who have been fighting against depression longer than me i admire you for the strength its not easy and i really hope you beat this some day,3.0
303,finally heading to bedgotta get up in about  hoursackk well at least i have some new things to test out on wilson ,0.0
304,lancearmstrong   perfect reading after being up most of the night working just what the dr ordered ,0.0
305,madelynn is smiling and trying to giggle at her swing mobile and so it starts she will never be just a baby again ,2.0
306,is doing nothing  lol,2.0
307, lol yeah i have a nephew and he makes me cry at my pathetic situation to make it worse he is just  yrs ,2.0
308,horrible day  im so upset fuck this no plans but be with my sister woo woo going to see the baby aww hope he doesnt give me a hard time,2.0
309,memunish well i kinda am i also expected it but did not want to realize until it came hard on my face  punishment of expectation,0.0
310,postanxiety depression and fighting with my parents is destroying me within short intro december   i had my first anxiety attack in a busy train i felt like i was about to faint and my hands and lips felt numb i had many attacks afterwards at different places so i went to the doctor and was assigned anxiety therapy and physical therapy that would allow me to recognize stress in my body more easily note that i had a lot of stress symptoms such as bad balance and leaning to the left lots of tense muscles etc i had a checkup at the neurology department in a hospital and my neural systems seemed to be okay so no worries therenow i havent had an anxiety attack ever since the therapy was halfover but i still feel symptoms like stress and bad balance and sometimes i feel like i get a panic attack even though i can prevent myself from having one still the symptoms are annoying its been almost  months now since it all started and i am depressed deeply i feel like shit everyday everyday i wake up with a bad headache or a tingling arm or bad balance or pressure in my ears or bad balance my parents keep telling me to get a job to fill the empty gap until i will start a new study in september but i feel too shitty to do so they say i am spending way too much time on my computer and all my symptoms would go away if i just became part of society again so to speak i know they are right but i feel too weak and too depressed to do so we get in a lot of fights and sometimes i hate living with them but i obviously cannot move out right now they also use insults based on my personal fearsshortcomings when were fighting and thats just the straw when it comes to my mental state such as the fact i dont have friends or never kissed a girl even though my peers are all very succesful there sometimes i feel like my anxiety is over but then its not im in a loop i cant get out ofwhat do i do do people recognise this i tried some things this week like taking my bike somewhere but i still feel like shit when i do so and i feel not ready for a job or meeting new people i cant talk about my depression with anyone because i am a closed book but it is destroying me from the inside,3.0
311,i think i should kill myself its in the title really i dont think i should be alive anymoreim just a spec of dust on this planet anyway my boyfriend will be sad so will my parents and brother and sisters theyll be sad the only one wholl understand why i did what i did would be my boyfriend he knows how much my depression affects my day to day lifemy parents never understood im in university if you could even say that ive attended  classes this year and failed already theres no way im getting this year back i used to be good at what i did i used to be a good artist i cant do it anymore i sit infront of the paper and just wonder where my imagination and my capabilities went i cant bring the hand to paper attach the pen to the page im not surprised im empty numb cant even cry about itim on antidepressants they help me fall asleep but the want to kill myself and make it all go away hasnt waned i just want it to stopi wanted to impress my parents i wanted to prove them wrong fuck you i can make it as an art teacher they were right i cant im too scared to tell them that theyre right im too scared im a failure i dont know what i want to do with my life i cant contribute to society im not usefulmy boyfriend likes the fact that i want to be a successful person an active member of society i cant even get out of bed most days ive gained  stone i binge eat to make myself feel better and yet it doesnt even do that i want to make it all go away its all so hard its too much for mei used to be strong good at living is it just the trauma catching up with me or am i just dysfunctional i could get help but i cant reach out and grab iti should just kill myselfyou wouldnt understandwho will find me no one would notice anything was wrongmaybe perhaps my boyfriend or my flatmate but that would only be after months of decaying in my room nobody would find me im known to retract from people and relationships who would spot something is wronghow many people would fake being my best friend just to get some attention from my deathshe was my best friend we talked almost everyday except we didnt i rarely talk to anyonei should just do itwhy cant i i should kill myself right now,3.0
312,had planned to shred the bits of tree that were pruned last week done about a  of it before the shredder packed in ,2.0
313,at the holy cow in frisco getting messed off to beerfest in a few hours ,0.0
314,i just pulled the big heavy metal store gate right onto my shoulder  ouch charlie,2.0
315,rt beechapo you didnt even have anger problems or depression until you had sex wth that loser,2.0
316,fucking hate automating contact sheets in ps  so long,2.0
317,scottmoyers shit i worked that out wrong didnt i i meant  minutes fail ,2.0
318,the river seems like a nice place to celebrate the end my friends this is finally fucking it ,0.0
319,hey long time no see ,2.0
320,at bfd missed anberlin because of the sats  but tbs is at  and aberlin signing at ,2.0
321,mobile twitter doesnt want to work for me ,2.0
322,i dont feel connected to anyone and i think my death would have no real impact in anyones lives im not suicidal i could never kill myself im just having one of those days when i just feel incredibly numb and sad i dont feel truly connected to anyone like i cant be my true self around anyone i have very few friends it was always like this im a cancer survivor and ive been so focused on my disease for the last few years that im just starting to aknowledge that maybe i dont have anyone my family and boyfriend would probably miss me but im not sure that if i died my death would have such a great impact in their lives i feel like everyone is more interesting more intelligent better at everything to make things even better i have a masters in clinical psychology so i feel guilt and shame about feeling like this because i should probably be able to help myself yup i am but maybe i also need therapy i will probably give it a try im still not sure i just wanted to write this down,3.0
323,just spent another  on a tooth ouch ,2.0
324,ohhhhhheadache  everyones bein hella sweet today ea where ya at boo,2.0
325,up in my dorm movie night with my girlss ,0.0
326,i love him i miss him this sucks ,2.0
327,i am counting down the days until i am in nashville seeing lots of friends ,0.0
328,mselvidge youre on twitter now  i underestimated oprahs influence ,0.0
329,i feel like im trapped and theres only one way out this is going to be a long post and it might not even get anyone commenting on it but im sorry for it being so lengthy ill try and keep it promptim a  old male from uk i live in a tiny single bed box room that fits all the belongings i own my sole parent had a mental breakdown when i was  and since ive had to fend for myself spending almost  of my income on rentthis has been a massive influence on my life and its meant all my choices have revolved around me trying to do whatever it takes to afford to live in a place of my owni studied a degree i didnt like to get a job that can pay well in the future ive recently began a trainee position in the vocationai subject i studied and its honestly making me so stressed and depressed i cant sleep and feel like im at my wits endsooner or later im going to be fired because i cant do the job properly because i didnt stop to think whether i can actually do the job i was simply thinking how the fuck will i ever own a house throughout the whole of unii could go quit the job and go back to menial entry level work which also stressed me the fuck out and caused me to be majorly depressed and gave me no hope for the future  or i could stick out at a job that stresses me out because its so fucking boring and demanding with the hopes that ten years in i might be able to afford a mortgagei really wish i was priveleged enough to have parents who were financially stable to help provide a safety net at a time like thisi feel like ive been running away from the things that are driving me towards ending it for most of my adolescence and now its like i have no actual power to change my circumstancesi feel like ending it is the only way out from this suffering,3.0
330,im feeling really good the future looks bright not sure if i ever posted here before soberill just start by saying that i am the definition of privilege i wasnt spoiled but i never went hungry i have lots of great memories and i am blessed with an amazing familyi am so so lucky for my upbringing depression happened even to me it can happen to anyonei have a goal ahead of me that i am excited for it will be the hardest thing i ever do and i still might fail at itim finally in a good space mentally after burning through all the good will my family could musterthe future is looking bright boysdepression will always be with me a close family member dealt with an eating disorder and terrible body image negativityshe tells me that there is always that little voice there but its an old friend now reminding her to make smart eating choices instead of telling her how fat she looksim rambling now but this boy made itbest of luck out there,3.0
331,jus got gome from rehearsal with croom and tawesome show cant wait to perform it back is killing me  bedtimenitey nite twiggies,2.0
332,nathanaelb nope im going to your party as a woman obviously a seductress and thus a deamon according to the cult going pinup style ,0.0
333,any depressed minimalist that would like some mutual support im reaching out if this post gets downvoted i can at least say i tried,3.0
334, i think about wanting to die but why cant i do it im so down at the moment that death seems like the only way out and ive been like this for about a year now yet i can never bring myself to plan out how to go about ending it or in the moment doing something or anything like that i said it was because i couldnt ever do that to my mum and people that love me but im not sure what it is any more and it is getting more torturous by the day ,3.0
335,hehesomeone just sent me an auto dmit began by  apologizing for sending and auto dm  ,0.0
336,back from cycling riding in the wind is getting so old  still  days to my holidayso it aint all bad  tea  chocolate nice,2.0
337,listening  mcfly motion in the ocean now we are the young is on ,0.0
338,kangastu new blog will be up tomorrow ,0.0
339,im borreeedddd i miss laura   i want more popcorn  i loves popcornno wonder im so fat lol,0.0
340,im tired im tired of feeling so alone i have so much to be grateful for so many people who seem to care about me but i cant stop feeling like im a fucking waste of space every moment of every day i feel like shit is getting even worse personal problems constantly haunt me and other shit just keeps stacking onto what i already have to deal with im tired of feeling like this and i dont know what to do sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just end everything after all once im gone everything ive ever done would have been for nothing,3.0
341,i got a job after not having a job and being less than broke for over  months i finally have a job its as a teaching assistant i start on the  yay for me right,3.0
342,chisechan i kill cactuses  horticulturalists run from me in fear,0.0
343,doesnt want to have to revise tomorrowhad enough ,2.0
344,i dont want to feel alone anymore with the whole  pandemic closing businesses and forcing people to stay home it has drawn my attention to something i was already aware of  if it wasnt for the fact im always the one trying to start conversations with people id never hear from them  i would always tell myself its because theyre busy with work and school but thats clearly not the case,3.0
345,there is noting quite like eating brownies for breakfast  now i feel like i want to go run  miles ,2.0
346, haha i apologise its bloody roasting here too and i have to sit and finish my work   not long left,2.0
347,worse after loved one dying my depression is mostly a symptom of borderline btw anyways my uncle who i spent a lot of time with and felt like an older brother to me a lot younger than my dad passed away suddenly yesterday out of nowhere i was feeling wayyy better and now im just feeling down again with extreme brain fog i dont  know how to deal,3.0
348,only a hr  to go then out in the sun ,0.0
349,yasexy thank ya girl ,0.0
350,levimorales thanks ,0.0
351,is loving jip so so so so sooo much ,0.0
352,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
353, mmm if i wasnt drooling at the thought of ovenfried chicken drumsticks id be quick  quiche it up  meat though ,0.0
354,  clean me,2.0
355,janeloeddingart thanks  great tip,0.0
356,school starts again on tuesday and im dreading it so much literally to the point i dont feel like living through it i get thats really overdramatic but just picturing that thisll be my life kills me i never want break to end,3.0
357,stick in miserable traffic ,2.0
358,    wow  that is so awesome andre   it will be great i know  cant wait   and you dads arent so bad either  ,0.0
359,cocktailrioteer do you know him ,0.0
360,bad place rant idk even before when i was depressed i never felt this unmotivated i feel like my whole life is a foot in front of me and theres nothing i can do right now to change it im destined to be unsuccessful and underpaid and overworked i go out and see so many unhappy people and whats the point im not suicidal but i just dont see the point in living when there is nothing good coming and you have to fight everyday im about to graduate college and i need to be applying to jobs but i chose a really stupid major and i dont really know where to go to apply for jobs i work all the time and im exhausted and i dont have time to do anything for me i dont really have any close friends just some poeple i talk to while im at work i feel really unattractive everyday which makes me not want to talk to people even more the only person i can talk to is my mom but when i tried to talk to her about my stresses on thursday she screamed at me and said stuff like i wish you didnt live with me you dont do anything i dont have time to do anything because i have school at  work at  get home at  and then i have to do hw and then i also need to be learning extra skills so that i look better on my resume and also applying to jobs and maybe graduate schools and do some kinda workout so i dont feel so chubby anymore i wanna call out of work today but i cant because im the only bookkeeper who can work today but i am just barely holding it together but ive been talking all weekend about how i dont want to work anymore so if i call out and say im sick theyll know i just didnt want to work and then they wont have a bookkeeper which just makes everything super complicated for the managers idk anymore,3.0
361,ok im back and disappointed  i thought there was gonna be more drama on tonights rw episode,2.0
362,eurghhhhhhhhh man he is quit annoying me at the mo but i cant stop liking him   i hate being like this ,2.0
363,no kidney stone showed up so i have to have another more intense scan i had to drink some nasty shit ,2.0
364, hello long forgotten twitter  cant believe i missed the fiasco yesterday ,2.0
365,ashleyisrad ugh  i cant wait that long,2.0
366,philikon all major political parties in norway are eu friendly its the population ,0.0
367,hi guys my first day on twitter ,0.0
368,golf courses are better at night ,0.0
369,gon pick the remaining styling  project allround amp then final rhrsals  mtv studio with zircus zircus videoshoot  on set ,0.0
370,drramaclaire naa sad syay ikabuga hahaha 💜,2.0
371,brentpattsn you should put google phones in the goodie bags ,0.0
372,brento performance is horridbut i can buildtestbreak clusters on it and clone the vms to real kit when it arrives  very handy ,0.0
373,fiddlermikey i cant  i still have entirely too much to do today and im totally wiped out need sleep early,2.0
374,cc lax won the regional championship state semifinals on wednesday   go shamrocks  oh and mitch is concussed so wont be playing ,2.0
375,sarahrhoads woah fast reply by me ah id love to but i just got one a couple of days ago dont want to waste it  poo manis,2.0
376,hopped up out the showerrrrr turn my swag onnnnn yes i am diggin the newly dyed darker hair ,0.0
377,depression vs sadness depression is a mental illness a disease you can be depressed in good times or bad you need meds and therapy to fight depression being sad because your life sucks is not depression  you will eventually get into a better spot and feel better two totally different issues with different solutions and conflating them is dangerous for truly depressed people,3.0
378,fun day in the library ,2.0
379,pennydog oh not nice  let us know how it goes xx,2.0
380,i dont feel happiness excitment or enjoyment even when i feel fine i feel like this is the result of being depressed and having social anxiety for  years from  years of age to  years of age i was on prozac for a year and then once i got into college and i was off it i feel like i am just existing i dont feel happiness  not that im sad about it cause ive forgotten what its like to feel it anyways but its not there and its hard to fit in with people when there are just certain emotions that dont exist within youi feel like the situation im in right now isnt as bad it was before so i feel like i dont have any right to complain but i dont feel like i could live my life like this recently my mindset has went from constantly apathetic to dipping into the sadnessdepression again something that i feel like i am close to getting into again im sorry if this is hard to understand i just find it hard to find the right words ,3.0
381,biancacullen i wishd theyd put a new video up even if not specifically allen and craig  and my crappeh video xp  httpbitlywzuai,2.0
382,rt seemachandwani your leader was absent having a meeting planning to dump your sad party your former leader was absent discussing hi,2.0
383,i feel like ive just woken up from a  month long awful dream it didnt occur to me immediately that i had depression but i knew something was wrong and that i had to do something anything but i just couldnt i just let things slip further and further out of control i stopped seeing my friends i stopped being driven by things im passionate about everything became way too hard i either felt too much or nothing at all and i was absent in my relationship and pushed my partner away that last one hurt the most the entire time i felt myself screaming inside to just stop but i pretended that how i was acting was fine i had an excuse for everything well now im sick of being a shell i want to feel like me again im going to start from now but i have no idea how or how its going to end up but im going to do something,3.0
384,misskatherine oh i am doing amazingly well  thanks  no rush though on calling me backworry about moving and unpacking first ,0.0
385,sweetcouture  i know she said it wasnt but i know it was lol none of the guys have ever dmd me   id even settle for  from danny lol,2.0
386,edrecovery yah i know i have to decide if the cost difference is valid so yah for reading reviews  thanks,0.0
387,sophieleexo lol yeah  i didnt even know he was on good jobi channel surfed aha xxx,0.0
388,doing homework for the rest of the night ,2.0
389,iamspectacular oh  boo  did u have a good nyt  xx,2.0
390,depression as a disability ive dealt with severe depression and anxiety for about  years i was diagnosed when i was  ive been to therapy and have tried numerous meds throughout the years im finally on meds that keep me stable but of course im not cured i still have stretches of time that are very difficult for me to even get out of bed i didnt realize until a few years ago when i applied for a new job that depression is actually considered a disability i was wondering if anyone has experience with this does anyone receive disability benefits for depression and what was the process for that,3.0
391,inta starts today   trademark  lawyers in seattle  fill in your own caption  ,0.0
392,i just feel useless in this world everyone is telling me that everyone has a talent but i just cant find one everything i do is wrong everytime i want to help my dad its wrong or it could be better the only thing i can think of is that i have quite good grades but then i am telling myself its only because i have enough time to study because i dont meet with friends my classmates are telling me im the best example why grades dont show how intelligent someone is i can find so many bad sites on me and no positive thing everyone makes fun about me in class and i can laugh with them but when i am home alone i have to rethink every word i worry about everything and have a social anxiety disorder i just want it to stop and can just live happily like everyone else in my environment sorry for my bad english i am not a native speaker,3.0
393,everyone follow my girl quotfriendquot   xoxo,0.0
394,skemes caseyslife did i mention its written by the same writers as the simpsons another banger ,0.0
395,bowlin with kittymalicious melamosh lindsey haley stasha and danielle ,0.0
396,teamsame awww whats wrong ,2.0
397,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
398,green  old green dayi miss you ,2.0
399,embracing all that is given to me and living life  step at a time bro ,0.0
400,jaimeelynnjonas i know amp only i would say quotninja kicksquot amp kick my leg in the air for no reason  amp then almost kick jaimerz in the face,0.0
401,my body hurts and i have to be up at  am for work tomorrow ,2.0
402,but i dont want to well mighty night for realz oh an i have to get up early tommorow ,2.0
403,  popcorn burn  days later ,2.0
404,is revising for her sociology exam and is getting confused s omg my exam is in  an hour o ,2.0
405,rt aroseessentials burn your stress away 🌻accept peace 🌷 🥀 ,1.0
406,i was having the worst anxiety attack earlier i deep cleaned the shit out of my bathroom,2.0
407,massive headache ,2.0
408,after taking rainomy companys dog for a walk amp feeding him breakfast its time to get some coffee ,0.0
409,being sad and not knowing why im a problem solver if somethings wrong i fix it im sad all the time like more than when im happy and i have no idea why or how to fix it and stressing out about fixing it just makes me more sad and gives me anxiety then i cant sleep im up till  with my thoughts feeling lonely i miss meetings im not performing my best at work and it all just keeps piling up on top of each other and i cant take it anymore any advice please,3.0
410,life is shit i just want to kill myself my place in this universe is so useless i have so many regrets i feel so alone all the time even though im constantly surrounded by people i have plenty of friends i just still constantly feel so lost like im never in the right place ever i dont feel like dredging myself through this useless existence i fail to connect with a lot of people i torture myself over and over because of my inability to learn from my mistakes i just feel so lost,3.0
411,i finally saw transformerslmfao i only saw it because i wanted  see the  one and didnt wana be lost ,0.0
412,cullencoven ♥ janine charmaine martel commented on the photo renesmee  awww bella this is  ,0.0
413,so sad 😔 keep strong babe 💜,1.0
414,my anxiety level right now is through the roof my parents found out that i struggle the last time they saw me self harming myself my mother cried for like  days and made herself distant now im coming back home and i struggle to not pass out from hyperventilating what do i dooo,3.0
415,aw those poor people  i wonder what the actual probability of winning it is,2.0
416,i just wantidk im depressed and i try to cover it up acting like a fucking dumbass so no one can see the real idk if i should live or should i go to hell at the moment thats what my life feels like it kinda feels like hell,3.0
417,thank u leojeanetter  breakin it dwn  melots of self hate goin on there  ur right aaaannnndthe beat goes on  night folks,0.0
418,zulukcult i know  im sorry i wanted to stay longer i just told noelle and chelsea quotgood luck in collegequot and left had  go,2.0
419,comicqueen ,0.0
420,i want my woosoo like now plz  i gant wait knowing shes so close is driveing me nutts,2.0
421,gabboucla no problem  im fluent in tweet  ,0.0
422,im extremely depressed extremely bad grammar ahead sorry im a  year old girl with severe depression and anxiety and i dont know what to do anymorei cant go  hours without an anxiety attack and overthinking everything im failing almost all my  classes because im a very slow learner and none of the teachers help me im in the  grade and im scared of people and social interaction so i try and keep all my struggles to myself but when i try and get help nobody caresi hate myself for being so stupid and failing classes i feel like im wasting my life away worrying about everything and being extremely paranoid  but i cant help but worry constantly about everything i want to talk to my doctor but im scared she and my family are gonna judge me and think im just a crazy person so can somebody give me some suggestions please i cant keep living like this anymore,3.0
423,being raised by women has ruined my life my father died when i was  and i was raised by  women throughout my life this has fucked me up mentally i feel emasculated and dont believe i carry the traits of a male i have never kissed a girl and havent spoken to one for the past  years i cant stand the fact of being around more women im straight please dont hit me with the turn gay comments ,3.0
424,i cant be the guy i know i can be this problem i have is caused by depression i talked with my friend a few minutes ago about it and he recommended posting this on reddit so basically i asked him how can he stay positive with his depression and he told me that he doesnt want to make other friends and family worry difference between him and me is that i dont care that much if someone will worry about me i feel that way because only  people care or have cared about me out of  i know not including family depression as i already said is caused by the problem in the title that depression is the source of my anger me being quite and my social anxiety that friend i talked with told me to find new friends and to actually enjoy the things i do and to not feel like sit while doing them by sit i mean not feeling anything but i dont know how where to find them or how to know if ill comfortable around them and i dont know that because i have never felt that before also  or  years ago i didnt even know if i wanted a family but now i do know and i want one the problem here is i cant find the girl thats my type i know that there is time i am after all still in high school  but even though i am still in high school i want to know how it feel to love someone outside family and finally this last thing i cant relax because of my social anxiety at parties group of people my teams meetings in organization for volunteering and basically everything not even with my family right know i told you about everything that causes my depression and why i cant be the guy i know i can bei honestly want to be like others of my age but for some reason i cant i have will and motivation but something constantly keeps me away from being the guy i know i can its like there is some kind of wall in my brain blocking the path to better me the reason i came here to share my problem is because i dont know how to break that dmn wall so i ask everyone that reads this to help me or at least try to with this problem of mine im thankful anyways,3.0
425,its time to catch up on thank you notes ,2.0
426,im just so damn tired m  not a serious risk or anything like that but just exhausted from the minutiae of it all past few weeks have been really difficult as im getting more and more isolated and i dont like it im feeling so emotionally drained from having to constantly put my best foot forward and keep on smiling so to speaki have some considerable strong selling points that i wont post here lest i be identified somehow that should make me quite attractive but im just never on the same page as women  theyre more than happy to stay friends with you though and keep tormenting you like that arent they meanwhile any chances i have to meet new women are confounded by my nerveslast and also first date i went on was back in november with a girl i met on tinder  it was awkward cringy completely devoid of any chemistry and she messaged me a few days later saying that it just wasnt a good fit didnt surprise me at all in fact i was wondering how it was going to fail spectacularly i didnt go in hoping for that to happen btw just knew that somehow it would i think in some ways that made it even worse  i had always said that if i managed to get to the date portion id do just fine and be pretty likable glad to know i was dead wrong about thatmy brain has gotten to the position where ive found myself saying i hate women quite a bit more frequently than id like i hate men too so its not like going gay would be any better not to mention the fact that im just flat out not attracted to meni do go to church and hoped i could find some sort of emotional salve there maybe even a girl but my particular friend group is a backbiting egotistic bunch of narcissists who actually made the problem worse i want to meet new people but again i have no idea how this weekend im seeing a female friend of mine who im quite close with and knows ive had a huge crush on her for the better part of a year she proceeds to ignore this and treat me like her counselor apparently i give good advice i just cant give it to myselfim just tired its becoming more and more of an effort to keep my head above water and im starting to give in to my anger something i do not want to do at all if anyone has anything encouraging to say id be appreciate i can go into a bit more detail in pms if anyones interested there too thanks in advance ,3.0
427,does anyone have advice on how to study for finalshow to not have anxiety about school  😓😅 plz help lol,0.0
428,columalmighty really need to find someone to buy it ,2.0
429,i have to take my psp apart ,2.0
430, lol scratch that i didnt know i was looking at the weather in canada its going to be gross out here this weekend sorry ,2.0
431,off to the gym and then hopefully a solid few hours writing articles ,0.0
432,says my bitch just died   rip quotwhiteyquot ,2.0
433,dannygokey hey twitter messed up the folow request i unblocked so it wont mess up this time haha so follow me hehe ,0.0
434,ljmx sorrrrryyy my laptop cut out  night night  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,2.0
435,he heals me he knows the real me and he accepts me he never hurts me he heals me  jesus that is,0.0
436,marielinton lets all pray that you err we dont ,0.0
437,what have all yall been  lately i been so busy n sick havent been able to update ,2.0
438,lastnature damn i dont like this videol love bees  its so sad,2.0
439,stressed over a app  a unit this morning wen to town gave quick call to find it had gone already i only saw it yesterday ,2.0
440,is it  oclock yet ughh sooo tired i wanna go home and sleep i think im getting sick ,2.0
441,rt  mental health in schools a hidden crisis affecting millions of students sel ,2.0
442,idk i dont think i can take this much longer i dont know what to do ive gotten worse and i cant believe that i did i called that suicide hotline about  or  times but that didnt help i dont know what to do i hate myself,3.0
443,had a totally amazing night at the farewell party yesterday danced for hours ,0.0
444,no one cares its the sad truth you are unequivocally alone in this world no one cares that you hurt no one cares that you cry no one cares how your day has gone by you are alone accept itbecause this is how it is and how it will always be,3.0
445,ohhh steveo what have you done to yourself ,2.0
446,depression awareness if you see someone with a sad face come on say hi maybe you will save his life you can never know,3.0
447,if anyone cares i almost killed myself and didnt today im still here not thinking anyone cares because no one knows not that anyone would know but i didnt do it i dont know why but i didnt do it,3.0
448,mmm arthur bryants ,0.0
449,congrats davenow on to the real world mary ,0.0
450,lilyroseallen here it is soooo sunny and hot summer finally arrived to the island ,0.0
451,superpowerzone lucky you it is wet and cold in lower south west au ,2.0
452,zacharyxbinks its   i think kyle should go on blogtv tomorrow ,2.0
453,rest in peace taehyungs grandfather dont be sad cause you have your amazing family amazing member as your bestf ,0.0
454,okie here i am fellows just back from my shoot yay ,0.0
455,onacruise i forgot and i totally was tired and passed out i could have taken one bus there  boo,2.0
456,is waiting around for something that i feel like wont be happening anytime soon  as a side note   is amazing,2.0
457,twitter sms is erratic ,2.0
458,i had to let it outi just want to die honestly i think having a child was just another burden my parents thought they had to take on i dont even know if they wanted me or were just trying to satisfy everyone around them my mom first started hitting me when i was  and forgot to empty the dishwasher one day of course with a wooden spoon i remember asking myself why i wasnt good enough another time i asked my dad for help with math and couldnt understand division for the life of me as a  so he slammed my desk and made a crack in it saying he wished he slammed my skull instead then i went to boarding school where i thought things would get better but i was bullied for my american accent and made fun of for trying to please everyone in order to feel secure i moved up a grade there but i was still bullied by the boys at my school who would call me names and laugh at anything i did wrong when i came back to america it was hard to fit in again i tried making friends and thought everything was going ok until it turned out my friends were gossiping about me same old story that summer my mom found out i was watching youtube and she made me stay out of the house for  hours and hit me until i was begging at her feet to stop my dad and sister just watched on  i stopped watching youtube out of fear and instead started listening to music which became my safe space my mom found out again and hit me with a hanger until i had purple and red welts showing on my brown skin up and down my thighs and legs some were bleeding i considered killing myself for the first time that day after a year of tiptoeing around each other my mom randomly took my phone one day and saw i said the word crap to my friend and she hit me again and made me stand outside in the cold maine air for hours and said things like she doesnt care about me wish i was never born was a disgrace the usual my dad also joined in while my younger sister just watched now i am a junior and the thing with my mom is she doesnt recognize anything good i do but as soon as i make a mistake she pounces on it and wont let me defend myself and works herself up over nothing its come to the point where every time she raises her hand above her hip i flinch also my mom and dad are different religions and always try to get me to join theres and its such a struggle living in a divided household where i am sure no one loves me and only takes care of me for selfish reasons i just really want to kill myself now i am sure people will literally be sad for a day and move on because i havent impacted anyones lives i just am scared of how to though so thats saving me honestly,3.0
459,is sad because  again was sold out ,2.0
460,nothing happens to me you know sometimes i get really fucking bored loneliness is really boring and when im bored my thoughts go wild with self hatred and shit but thats not what i wanted to post abouti just sit in my room alone not doing anything even though i have stacks of things that i needwant to do but im too lazy to and nothing happens sometimes my people talk to me but its always one sided they talk to me about all the things good or bad that had happened to them and i try to sympathyse with thembut yeah im at a point where even negative interactions with people would be nice like being rejected at least than id have a real reason to be depressed but id have to meet new people to be rejected and thats an impossible task for me for some reason i dont even know where i should start but knowing myself i wouldnt do anything anywaysoh well thanks for reading this,3.0
461,pretty good day  lake samm tomorrow afternoon vmas tomorrow night,0.0
462,just got out of the hot tub with the lilmama good times warm and nice but lots of people that are way too good looking ,2.0
463,opps actually  bestfriends ,0.0
464,oasis yea but u know  just  u lot im bk at work n bk  fukin reality ,2.0
465,starting the annual greys marathon episode  cheer  me ,0.0
466,i payed for two magazines but i forgot to take them with me  so its just me and my lunch now and the burning hot dutch sun,2.0
467,smeyen cu on tuesday  unfortunelately i cannot attend the monday evening speaker event  ekke,2.0
468,mzmraz youre sick ,2.0
469,nickkkjonas im going all doctor phill on msn lmfao ,0.0
470,ill try to have the video up by this evening ,0.0
471,man these graveyard shifts aint no joke   ,2.0
472,pasakorn fancy  inch screen he puts my  inch sansui to shame  ,2.0
473,meeeelting from the heat woo im not sure if i like it or not  off to dl the sims  ,0.0
474,is impressed with how well the computers behavingnot impressed with the lack of response from the dentist ,2.0
475,i am so busy rehearsing i cant watch the game ,2.0
476,i cant do it anymore every day is fucking pain i spend all my time on this god damn computer this is retarted my therapists dont understand me and my shit and i know im being fucking petty talking about the state of the human race but i dont care i already have enough regrets i give up this world is hell i just want to go up up to heaven im a christian fuck off i just want to die now and end this ugg this is all so retarted this inst a ask for help or is it i dont fucking know i dont know my self and i dont know anyone fuck everything its all gay fuck everyone,3.0
477,colorblindfish nice pic i like that look ,0.0
478, yey but i think its too long to wait i want to see them now  x,2.0
479,vijiisland youre not the first person to say thatand a big thanks  if only i had his franchise,0.0
480,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
481,is currently leaning random songs ,0.0
482,im not depressed but  okay i really just need some perspective here because my therapist is personcentered and wont ever clue me in as to how normal  severe the shit im going through is in comparison to the rest of the normal human populations woes i dontuhidentify with the words depressed and depression butbasically i feel nothing like ever and i kind of go through most days in a feelingless way—i cant connect to other people and if anything im increasingly annoyed and uncomfortable when other people try to look at me talk to me make conversation about anything normal or learn how im really feelingbut the main thing is right this is why i came here to post this so its mostly nothingness and feelinglessness and then some random ass things will trigger me and i just get super sad and start dryheavingsobbing for a couple seconds and breathing really deep and feeling like i want to crack and then itll go away and the goingaboutmydaylikenormal hazemask will come back over everythingthis tends to happen around thoughts related to food and also when i see other people following their dreams  other things that are particularly inspiring to me in a very niche wayand also just randomly sometimes its like the haze of my daytoday life will lift and im like what am i doingwhat the fuck am i doingwhy am i wasting my time like this or something its nonverbal thoughmy therapist keeps suggesting the word numb to describe how i feel and also how ive cut out everyone from my life and actively hide from social interaction refusing to even try to make real relationships because i know it never works and i never feel anything other than fake haha anywayi kind of feel like whatever this sadness is that its not just a sadness that comes and passes in spurtsbut rather that whatever it is its like a giant pool beneath me—the sadness—and everything else is laying on top of it and covering it pretty well but for the mostpart i just feel nothing so idk,3.0
483,saveoursmile salama it is a very special fish her is still alive donot worry ,0.0
484,lol watching the soup  i love this show i forgot today is the ny aids walk  its too late ,2.0
485,monday evening  starting it all over with us two days to my birthday ,0.0
486,preppyprincess the prices look the same to me ,2.0
487,today was a day i wish i hadnt woken up ive been passively suicidal for several years but i feel myself tempting closer now i was prescribed klonopin for anxiety and i cant tell if its making things worsei owe a lot of debt that i dont want my wife to be left responsible with but i dont want to be here anymore,3.0
488,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
489,got a hot new dress todaaayyy ,0.0
490,mindofelmira so meaning i should put my career first over my mental health ,1.0
491,is not enjoying spending sunday evening working on a presentation ,2.0
492,so effing sick i have a headcold  ,2.0
493,allieakbsp biancadao lol i had to put on pants to get water from the hall ,2.0
494,i put too much salt in my eggs ,2.0
495,and i said romeo take me somewhere we can be alone ill be waiting all theres left to do it run its a love story baby just say yes ,0.0
496,im  and im tired of living i dont know what to do every time i tried to hang with a girl i got rejected hard since that i dont trust myself and every time i try something i always assume that im gonna fail it like im always negative im studying in computer science which was suppose to give me the job that i always dreamed of but i dont have any motivation to perform in it and just do the bare minimum to pass i think that i dont have any quality im just sitting on my chair in my basement playing video games for  hours a day and go to bed at hours like  or  am were do you find motivation in life sorry for my bad english im speaking french,3.0
497,failure in uni why am i the way i am i have been struggling with anxiety since i started university i was hoping that itll become more bearable as time goes on but its yet to happeni study history and english wanna be a teacher some day even that feels like something i would never be good at and i dont know whytoday i was presenting about medieval italian history and i butchered it normally i would have dedicated enough time to prepare but i became anxious ane just didnt do anything it just happens all thé time and l feel terriblé about it i feel like i should be able to do more but i anxiously aspire to be perfect which causes more pain than it should havei dont know how to get myself together i was such a different person before all this and i just want to be myself again i started writing as well but aftíó a while i become anxious about that too so i just keep pushing that away as wellim good boy though since selfharm has been out of question for a while now i still dont like to see myself in the mirror some days but it has been worsesorry for the rambling it helps me remain sane i talked to a psychologist and hopefully well figure something out,3.0
498,explaining depression to children how do those of you with kids explain depression i have two little girls and it is hard explaining why i am in bed why i look sad why sometimes i go to bed before they do it is so unfair on them and they have so much energy and i am failing them,3.0
499, ooooh thank you maam ,0.0
500,just read my previous post  obviously i do not have a degree in grammar ,0.0
501,joeypd im alive im banged up and starting to get very bruised cuts stopped bleeding so bonus i keep replaying the crash tho ,2.0
502,rinajlee ive already lost  umbrellas so far this winter and its just started ,0.0
503,a void i constantly feel like i have a void inside me that i just cant fill im not sure if its loneliness or not but they feel pretty similar however it could also be that i have no genuine connections with people no hobbies and hardly any interests im able to ignore this temporarily by talking to people online but that too eventually gets boring and i can see through it as just another poor coping mechanism im not sure what the point of me posting this is i guess i just wanted to tell someone tips would be nice too if anyone else has felt similarly ,3.0
504,thank goodness  the trades are due back in the morning it was a hazy voggy day here in puna without them cool now ,0.0
505,savedr  that persiankiwi info was hacked i confirmed with sources in iran not true ,2.0
506,going to moes soon with babe and bumsrockgreen  eww lol,2.0
507,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
508,on the boat and ready to go to elliot key ,0.0
509,watching the today show getting lexi off to school working out and working another monday in paradise ,0.0
510, miniwheatsguy he asked who miniwheatsguy is so i said maxwell ,0.0
511,i dont want to have kids because i dont want anyone else to experience the pain of living i love kids but i couldnt put the burden of life on someone else it is too painful plus i would be too worried that my depression and biological serotonin deficiencies would be passed down its just better this way,3.0
512,no motivation to do anything i cant motivate myself to do anything at all not even open up my laptop and do stuff with that it is so awful to be stuck in that negative state of consciousness  what can i do i take lyrica and milnacipran at the max dosage but it does not get better,3.0
513,i wish i was in sydney ,2.0
514,can someone give me advice to grow into an adult i would appreciate any types of comments lay em on me fam,3.0
515,i want long hairrrr ,2.0
516,rt tomilahren trump derangement syndrome is not a disability and neither is stress this is an insult to students who struggle with actua,2.0
517,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
518,i have to take a fat poop i will be back in a sec luv u guys ,0.0
519,basically just sick of fighting every day i am sick of everything exhausted by life typical depression  my sister is a bit sick and she said she just doesnt feel like doing anything i said welcome to my life it is called depression  you will feel better in a few days though and you will stop feeling like this  i didnt come here for any other reason than just to get it out  i hate depression and i hate sharing it because in my experience depression really does love company  in the end there are really only  ways of reacting to someone who is depressed ignore them or join them the lying campt that is depression always wants others to join in i try my best not to let that happen  so i dont say anything and i dont talk about it but everyone knows im depressed they have seen me happy and it is obvious when i am not and then they all worry  it is shit i hate being like this but i am so tired all the time it is hard to keep fighting every day  i want to just curl up into a ball and disappear but i cant i want to stop telling myself i am ugly and stupid and i hate myself but i am so tired i am so tired i cant even sleep properly the depression wakes me up in the middle of the night just to say fuck you i am in charge and i can do what i like with you i am so tired and so alone but i cant just stop existing if i did depression would win and infect everyone i care about and make their lives as shitty as mine  and the really fucking stupid bullshit of it all is i have nothing to be depressed about  sure i have the borning everyday problems of not having enough money to get my car fixed and the housework never gettings done thank depression for that one but it is nothing i have people who love me i have enough money to buy food and pay rent i have internet access and netflix but i also have depression making everything i do exhausting even before i do it  this is not normal is it people dont normally have to go through life with this bullshit affecting them every day  this time its been over a year now and i am alone again and probably for the rest of my life  i will get used to it and depression wont be this hard forever i just needed to wingewinge over going to try to sleep,3.0
520,why am i still here nothing feels good anymore like life was sucked out of me i didnt think that i would make it this far without offing myself but unfortunately here we are i cant get anywhere in life because of my complete inability to fix anything in favor of allowing myself to be swallowed by depression i swear im just a bitch who can never get up and do anything i just stay in my room and do absolutely nothing its literally pointless to try and help me nobody should be stupid enough to even try ive had enough of wasting everyone elses time i shouldnt try to drag on this worthless and meaningless post for too long,3.0
521,about to go to bed ive been way too stressed out lately and feel so helpless for some ppl ,2.0
522,do i have depression i feel as if im going through the motions each and every day time flies by so quick and i can not enjoy a lot of things everyday i go through just feels so different from how it used to im  years old go to school and work part time have a girlfriend and have a good friend group nothing feels the same anymore hanging our with my friendsgirlfriend just doesnt bring me that much joy there are a lot of times when im in the middle of a party fun activity and i just think to myself why dont i feel happy about this why am i not enjoying it i also have suffered from terrible memory the smallest or the biggest things it doesnt matter i cant remember  of it for my life and it effects my relationship majorly with my girlfriend i forget planned days important dates basically everything it just doesnt feel important enough to memorize and i can not for the life of me remember details about certain days in the past the past week feels like a blur and that i just went through the motions i also suffer from what i assume to be social anxiety every time im around a large group of people im always thinking in my head of how im acting and what im saying etc i also feel that i cant meet new people or make a connection with them it just feels like something i do makes people hate me not want to become friends with me i dont feel sad all the time i mostly just go through my days without really tapping into my feelings or anything i just do what needs to be done sure some days i feel happier or some days i feel sadder than usual but its not constant the only constant feeling is of dissatisfaction i guess im never fully satisfied with the life i live the way i act etc,3.0
523,aperiodicone awwyou say the sweetest things  kiss,0.0
524,is over tonight ,2.0
525,chrisubando hi jam whatsup do you already arrive here in manila its been a long time since i last talk you ,0.0
526,omgitsjustin i dont know how to play chess ,2.0
527,dicedork  i hope you feel better ,2.0
528,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
529,too much free time but broke semester off of school had to take a semester off of school bc of anxietydepression im back home with my parents rn back on my medication and i got a great job  but its perdiem meaning my flexible changes all the time and is not consistent i could get a job that is consistentgives me routineeats up more of my time but the one i have now is at a wonderful institution id like to have a career at some day im pretty broke so i need something that is cheap too once i start making more money in the next  weeks i can go to therapy again  advice ,3.0
530,watching the breakfast club ,0.0
531,and im thinking about watching some good ol one tree hill in bed ,0.0
532,last day of summer ,2.0
533,hanging out at moms house ,0.0
534,stevepoltz that sucks darlin ,2.0
535,booo our server is having performance issues ,2.0
536,feeling really jaded another huge saturday night need to start drinking sensibly ,0.0
537,rubbish weather   hopin to c dislicated shoulder boi nxt week yay  ha ha ive been owt for dinner was luvley x,2.0
538,had a lovely best friend nightnow all i want is him  ugh,2.0
539,charloadams sadddddd ,2.0
540,canageek profile page and hit quotolderquot till you reach the two tfe events and paste each characters arc seperately or give up ,2.0
541,rt ogaquafina cured my depression with bottomless champagne,2.0
542,donniewahlberg not being able to talk does not mean not able to understand my child autisticits my motto for him ,0.0
543,i just wanna play sonic ,2.0
544,hats off to a slightly unexpected yet very successful end to a grouling day night all ,0.0
545,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
546,wooo greenday  x,0.0
547,sleeping in my bed for the first time in  months  couldnt be more happy,0.0
548,looking ahead ready to make this an awesome week i want to get to sunday night and know i totally rocked it here we go woohoo ,0.0
549,franquintanilla whats horrible  you worry me girl,2.0
550,escuchando el quoteverything is newquot de jack pe�ate� que buen disco saldr� el mes que viene ,0.0
551,ugh    can i just stay in bed all day long today  i have a bad case of the mondays  ,2.0
552,just got up now time for work ,2.0
553,joel stop tweeting i wasnt talking to you haha ,0.0
554, work  and sick     sick at work   ,2.0
555,we as a society need to start having more conversations about mental health and learn how to recognize sign and sym ,2.0
556,alittlethought darn i forgot the finger splints ,2.0
557,squadala i think im around the same bit as you i dont even have the game anymore cba ,2.0
558,clizzzaire hey you need to text me because your number isnt in my contacts on my new phone ,2.0
559,mikemckenzy jack quotthe fridgequot mckenzy   maybe hell play for da bears one day,0.0
560,an amazing poo if i may say ,0.0
561,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
562,is it ever going to get better im writing this as im crying because i dont know who i could talk to but i dont want to be alone anymore im so sorry i dont know what to do anymore i dont have anyone who i can talk to im a depressed bulimic and i feel that if i dont kill myself soon my bulimia will anyway i feel so disgusting because of ittheres days where i dont have the energy to get out of bed and ill just lay there for hours not doing anything nothing makes me happy anymore i spent hours today lying on the floor sobbing because i couldnt handle how worthless i am i dont know why im trying anymore because i know that my mental state will never get better im so tired i just want everything to stop,3.0
563,selenakyle i wish i have a million things to write and that poker tourney tonight which i may bail on due to the writing  bfd,2.0
564,officialvernonk vern you gave the wrong site its this one httpsroaudiencescom see ya there ,0.0
565,a folk has decided to end it but he hasnt done anything yet ive recently read a post in here of a  years old person who has planned to kill himself in a month or so it is not late yet to do something about it ive not been able to think of anything to comment or say so im posting it here for you to try and avoid something nobody should try,3.0
566,struggling to not drown in my emotions dont have anyone to vent to tell the my problems and how i feel or even hang out with im  and make good money have enough to spend on myself but my past was rough mental abuse along w physical but my parents act like they were saints constant screaming at home and the fact i literally have no one to love sucks i go on long drives and play my depressing fucking songs at night to just relax some nights i feel like pulling the gun from my glove box and finishing this shit i hate myself for being this weak one day i will find someone to love or maybe ill just die like ive always wanted,3.0
567,has to wake up reasonably early for grad practice ,2.0
568,ohhh sunday already  tomorrow work ,2.0
569,my babys missing ,2.0
570, yes i heard it and i think she could win because she won a lot of jobs  so it could be true but im not shure what do you think,0.0
571,crazy talk should i get an emotional support animal for my mental health ,1.0
572,yay larry david on the big screen  i cant hardly wait,0.0
573,madsvalentine hahahahaa good luck with that text me if youre coming to my house before school ,0.0
574,tobyml safari cannot open the page ,2.0
575,i really miss vielha ,2.0
576,my mummys gonna buy me some tiny teddies when shes shopping i havent had them in ages ,0.0
577,outrageous fortune is back  dont think i can stay awake long enough to watch the whole show ,2.0
578,kygrip thanks keegan i will see what i can do ,0.0
579,in ear moniter issues  set always rough to lead worship amp deal with  chrisestes rocked it out during the break amp now itsallgood,2.0
580,cheer practice my neck is so bruised from forward rolling and my head is pounding from tumbling  oh wellonly  more minutes,2.0
581, im expecting great visuals ,0.0
582,its so difficult that tommcfly could replies me with all that fans who tweet him jum ,2.0
583,tim key going in and out of the wall in his leather chair in we need answers is funny every time ,0.0
584,the best song the climb  congratulations mileycyrus youre the best ,0.0
585,quarantine is taking a toll on me it may seem really stupid but quarantine is really turning me into a more irresponsible and depressed version of myselftheres just no one to check on me anymore no need to try hard and stay with people all the time no classes to force you to studynow that i have an actual reason to push everyone close to me away i feel like im slowly losing touch with reality slowly forgetting my purpose in lifeand thats the thing is quarantine gives you time to think my life used to be constantly filled with things to do but now all theres left is me with my thoughts  and i clearly dont need thoseim just tired of cooking and doing even one meal a day is just a hassle im tired of studying and i barely even assist to online classes anymore i just start taking naps throughout the day to kill time and fill the void inside of meand weirdly enough i feel unbelievably broken and really at peace at the same time i have never been so stressfree for years because i dont have to interact with anyone anymore i can just sit and do nothing all day and no one will say anythingive really never felt so empty before but this quarantine life is so comfortable that i dont need if i want it to stop or go on forever,3.0
586,little brothers for lunch ,0.0
587,jonasbrothers ahhhhhhh i wish  im in omaha ne,2.0
588,fuck  feeling a bit numb now,2.0
589,i have an odd desire to play numbers too bad i have no one to play with lol aaww i miss katherine ,2.0
590,rt lostinthemazee its really hard to find a real mutual friend i mean a lot will just talk to you for a day  just like a one night stan,0.0
591,i miss you ,2.0
592,wishing that the sun was shining ,2.0
593,bobbibillard im goodlaying low since the boyfriend got deployed to iraq  freakin miss him too much haha how are u and gucci miss u too,2.0
594,is studying for finals  one more day,2.0
595,julieeehaaa im glad i made it fun for you ,0.0
596,headed home from tims cabin ,2.0
597,i cant do this anymore all my life ive had horrible anxiety and depression had just been a side track once i started taking medicine for my anxiety of course it got better but my depression is at the worst its ever been i had tried taking antidepressants before but they never really worked i feel nothing i am completely numb i no longer have emotions and i cant show any i used to cry every night and now i cant even make myself shed a tear im ready for my journey to end,3.0
598,hi i work in healthcare and i have depression and anxiety hi i work in healthcare and i have depression and anxiety i feel like my feelings are breaking rules a nurse has to be happy an extrovert and know the right answers right well i dont today is my day off i physically feel sick ive laid on the couch all day scrolling on my phone to pass the time and keep myself occupied i told myself i would go grocery shopping today like have been telling myself for the past week i still work paint a smile on my face i still spend time with friends and family the only person that notices somethings wrong is my boyfriend we will be laughing and talking over dinner and ill pause and gaze off playing with the food on my plate he will ask whats wrong and i just tell him i dont know i just feel out of it and try and change the subject people tell me that working in healthcare youll see some crazy things that make you feel uncomfortable that guy that got shot last week we did all we could and ive accepted the situation as harsh reality the strong woman sobbing over me having to package products of conception what is her child in her eyes to send to the lab for further testing is what i take home at night i felt like i was the devil in her eyes i didnt even know what to say other than please let me know if you need from me super passive i felt heartless dealing with hard situations would be better if i had people at home to look forward to i currently go home to a quiet empty house  days a week with my boyfriend home on the weekends i could vent about my day to my boyfriend or my mom but i feel like a burden its also hard because they dont understand what im feeling any healthcare professional is scared of the stigma attached to going to counseling and being labeled even though we ourselves advocate self care and counseling we read further into diagnoses and conversations because we are trained for it we dont want people to think we are unfit for a job we are so passionate about getting help felt much easier prior to nursing school but now im just afraid ill be labeledso here i sit on my couch with a baking show on tv venting to reddit the small view of my emotions buried into my chest my boyfriend will be calling me soon to ask what i did today i should be honest in that i slept  hours last night and also took a  hour nap and that today i havent showered or eaten anything more than a glass of water and a cheese stick or the fact that ive been on the couch all day mindlessly scrolling through facebookhi i work in healthcare  and i have depression and anxiety but if anyone questions me ill just say im feeling out of it today,3.0
599,jamfactory how much will the board be dude looks really nice ,0.0
600,noooooo they took the parking spot  squarespace and trackle,2.0
601,i just turned  today had my birthday today i guess im kinda excited because           im closer to death,3.0
602,just gettig up and then going to school  cant wait for it to be over,2.0
603,was in a good mood until i found something out that someone told me about what they said d proper put me down fucking nob ,2.0
604,ok im heading to bed to watch ncis for a while  sims  tomorrow yay pinktrees talk to you tomorrow ,0.0
605,purplelirpa it is very pretty   hope my cats are not gonna find it too interesting,0.0
606,i forgot leonardo dicaprio circa titanic is still working in my dads office oh my god too bad he has a kid now ,2.0
607,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
608,rt bomsalbum you all want to preach about how important mental health is but dont waste time to trash bom,0.0
609,bufest on sunday apparently ,0.0
610,impossible to describe does anyone else feel so numb that they cant even describe how they are feeling to loved onepsychologist etcits like what benchmark am i supposed to be comparing my current feelings or lack thereof because i have been depressed so longi can clearly tell something is wrong off is perhaps a better word but how can i even trust my own brain at this stage grrr,3.0
611, child cheese  i dont need to be banned from my baby  its his first birthday ,2.0
612,just realized that i fell asleep in the middle of the night while chatting with zanidia im really sorry girl ,2.0
613,i wonna go to glastonbury  i think that iv forgotten something  xxx,2.0
614,i wont get in trouble im a good kid remember  this stuff is stressing kay good night,0.0
615,whats even left once you realize nobody would miss you if you died im so tired of being the one nobody cares about yet my plain and afraid personality keeps me from being interesting or compelling to anyone im scared to even disagree with people or speak my mind because i dont want people hating me when you get to be as boring and milquetoast as me though you realize a few things namely because im a black hole of charisma i have nobody that would miss me if i died family nope i have a mom deadbeat dad and an uncle i havent seen them or spoken to them in any form in almost a decade friends nope i havent made an impact in anybodys life enough to be called that by anybodyat best itd be professionals but they dont actually care its nothing that would affect them for even half a day after hearing it should be noted that i dont give a shit about anything romantic either i used to but its so pointless and im not worth a relationship anyway all i can think is when there is legitimately not a single person who would care if you died is there even anything left to justify not killing yourself,3.0
616,i wanna go back to mc so badly ,2.0
617,im trying im  make diabetic type  unemployed broke no benefits no degree singlei dont understand whats happening to my body i have no financial support whatsoever to get myself fully checked i feel my body trembling at times cold at times feeling symptoms of hypertension at times my parents are getting old in their  i need to help them but its really difficult to progress with my current conditionive self studied web development its about the only thing thats keeping my hopes up a bit i feel heavily burdened right now but in my mind im fighting and will keep on fighting there are just times that i feel really really down,3.0
618,rt melzster to vips its okay to take a break from kpop for awhile now nobody will blame you your own mental health is the most importa,1.0
619,belannatorres ooc  you have never received a message on a padd  neither have i  ,2.0
620,ashums  how was santana and alsoare u ready for thurdays epicness yes that needed to be typed in all capsits that serious ,0.0
621,glendowz paul van dyk just left vancouver  he was here last friday    played a  set,2.0
622,goodnight my fellow tweeps youll only have  put up with  more day of my journey  la then its back to everyday life ,2.0
623,my house is boring and theres no degrassi until friday ,2.0
624,called out sick again and i feel so worthless there are days that i have work and i wake up knowing i cant do it and if i try to i end up having a major episode called in sick because of my mental illness and my manager was audibly annoyed something that sent me into an episode anyway i feel so worthless like i dont deserve to be alive i cant enjoy anything because i know i dont deserve to enjoy anything i cut my arm up a little bit just to alleviate the stress i cant fucking do anything right i suck ,3.0
625,exit bags its another late night of googling exit bags so many options helium nitrogen or nitrous oxide homemade or premanufactured paper or plastic its ok to just peruse right,3.0
626,mohandoss   scorecard    ,0.0
627,how hard it is to find someone who could actually help you in your country i live in ukraine and ive had a problem with mental health since i was  my mom took me to so many doctors that i couldnt remember them even if i wanted to until i was  every answer to my problem was she just wants your attention or its because she plays videogames etc but when i got older its got even worse i was really depressed and ready to accept help from everyone who can give it first time doctor started harassing me to see how i would react and then told my mom to call an ambulance so they take me to the mental institution not hoing to tell about the whole experience but right before going to bed a nurse came up to me and said that if i wonts stop crying she will do her best to keep me in this place forever  when i got  i changed like  doctors and everything wasnt right  first said that im depressed because im gay and if a man would give me a propper treatment i would be fine  second said that im not hating myself that much if my cuts are almost healed  third one said that i should  give birth and forget about all of that  the fourth one always talked about herself and how i should be grateful not expirencing her life  each of those were paid a not so little amount of money and none of them helped  is it just ukraine or its a bad luck,3.0
628,puddingface my daughter is called libby too i have her school grades coming soon heres hoping usually top grades  keep smilin x,0.0
629,going to board a plane for florida in  hours ,0.0
630,rt donniiee i want to write poetry again i wanna create art without having to be sad as shit to do so,1.0
631,stories of gay men fucking and hd mobile boys porn download first   telugugaysex com teent ,1.0
632,error  will to live not found so recently ive been balancing between killing myself and living with the hate i have for myself  this isnt something new in fact im quite familiar with it since ive felt this way since i was twelve years old but thats a completely different chapter of my life for another day  but the sad thing is recently i came to a new school after dropping out at my old one and at this new one i made a new friend  she understood me more than i did even though that sounds extremely corny  ive tried to off myself eight times now and each time i failed the last time was a week ago and the reason i didnt was her  because of a promise i made her i wouldnt kill myself i survived  and this made me realize that as long as i was around her or thought of her i felt better and not like a nutjob  about two days after i told her i nearly killed myself and she look genuinely disappointed at me and for the first time in a while i felt bad not for thinking that way but bad she was disappointed in me  it was also in this day i found a note i wrote to her  the note stated i love you just that only that and i realized that i had given that up to help her from harming herself as well this was when she made me promise  and me being the idiot i am i decided to say i love her in person  here i am surprised shes dating a guy i know  the second i found out it was too late the damage was done and i couldnt take a thing i said back nor did i want to this was thursday  and all i can think about is how her smile and the way she laughed as well as the way she looked when i told her i tried to kill myself were once things that gave me hope and made me reconsider who i am and what i will be now made me depressed beyond belief and crushed me because i cant be her friend about me because anytime i see her or walk by her a part of me dies inside and i hate myself even more than before  and the only way i can think of dealing with it is humor but i cant find any in the pit ive fallen into and all i can think of is what ill say to her when i see her because i cant just leave it at this and i cant just kill myself without saying goodbye  im not asking for advice or pity all i want is to know someone is listening to my thoughts and problems,3.0
633,myinkyfingersau sleep tight darling dream porny dreams ,0.0
634,seldemitayfan follow friday  follow her  ha ,0.0
635,stop and wiggle with it ,0.0
636,logging out to record episode  of bind on equip ,0.0
637,lightroomblog its cheaper to go for a walk and safer for cameras ,0.0
638,pknail youre forgiven ,0.0
639,question about getting a diagnosis going to therapy college counseling centers etc yes i know that the best way to get my questions answered is to contact the counseling center directly but im still mustering up the courage to make that phone call im tryingmy university has a counseling center that i found out today is free because we pay for it in our tuition payments my problems have been getting pretty bad and i know my boyfriend wants me to get help he mentioned a few months ago that my school has this resource and he wants me to at least try it and then decide if i want to continue with it or not im not sure i want to do it longterm but i have been considering going just to get a diagnosis here are my questions if you have been diagnosed by a professional what did it take for you to get diagnosed how many times do you have to meet to get diagnosed is it likely i can get diagnosed in just one appointment should i get more than one opinion if you take medicine in relation to your diagnosis do you have to continue going to regular appointments in order to keep getting your medicine do you go back only when it has to be refilled if youve gone to a university counseling center what was the quality of your experience if youve been to a counselor outside of the university how did they differ do these university employed counselors do all the same things that typical counselors can do give diagnosis prescribe medicine etc if you went to regular appointments during the school year what did you do during the summer similarly if you get medicine through them how do you get it during the summer i think they need my insurance information so would my dad find out if i made an appointmentget medicine through them counseling center vs primary doctor is there a difference can the counseling center do things for me that my primary doctor cant should i just go to my primary doctor for a diagnosis insteadtldr im thinking about visiting my universitys counseling center just to get a diagnosis at first i have the above questions also im open to any words of wisdom regarding this andor stories of your personal experience note i live in the us,3.0
640, omg now that u remind me i feel like im going to buy nothing  what u sugest im dork with this things,2.0
641,gone fishin with my lil brother and my cousin  got on my lucky shirt,0.0
642,annacochrane haha nothing the party was good only  people though i think vanah was kinda disappointed but it was still fun ,0.0
643,rt nickbeeny the return a poemevery time i see thewelcome to kentucky signi get happybut theni see matt bevin governorand,0.0
644,how to approach my mom to tell her im feeling very depressed again tw mention of suicidal thoughts just in case obligatory throwaway account since im a paranoid person which doesnt help my situation  im an adult who lives with my parents and siblings and due to just my personality or something my mother is my only support for everything including helping me with my mental illness i have a therapist but i cant see her till april and its so easy to lie that im having a harder time sharing what im really feeling and doing the while reason im asking for help is that i feel my situation is still safe i dont think i will hurt myself but im having a lot of thoughts and i know i need to share them with her so someone at least knows whats going on and can make sure i dont going diving of a cliff i just dont want her to overreact she has a tendency to overreact any advice for at least starting a conversation im going to probably break down into tears half way through but at least a way to approach the topic with her would be appreciative  thank you for at least reading even if you cant help,3.0
645,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
646,zagrrl  happy sunday g  whats happening in  ca,0.0
647,tweetaporsms   smss ,0.0
648,waiting to board the plane in tallin at  look for a bald guy if youre around ,0.0
649,q for safari park is huuuuuuuuge tis sunday i suppose ,2.0
650,y are we not twittering about httpsnurlcomhzfbs  people need to know about lauraling and her work on current ,2.0
651,missin all the fun  i wanna be with my friends ,2.0
652,goin for a walk ,0.0
653,there were some amazing actors at casting today ,0.0
654,going to amsterdam now to visit a client have a great day ,0.0
655,songzyuuup ha ha u said shawty  i see the a is wearing off on u,0.0
656,bigfoot oooh cool i love finding new places to visit ,0.0
657,brookehouts im literally so happy that you are happy brooke your energy in your videos is amazing like i cant i httpstcotiuofhvhqw,0.0
658,its raining hard  ,2.0
659,really just wants a gf but one that can always relate and help eachother out and one that feels the same as i do  being single sucks,2.0
660,today my dad told me that im the best son that he could ever wished and that made me cry tears of joy this week havent been too good for me i had tons of exams and while i did good in all of them i couldnt help but think that my grades arent high enoughthat consumed me my depressive signs like sleeping a lot during the day and not being able to smile were intensified so much that almost everyone could notice itso today out of nowhere my father purchased my favorite food and made it just perfect after eating all he sayed that hes proud of my grades and that im the best son that he could ever wished that just got me so much so i couldnt avoid tearing up a bit and then hugging himi never say this but today was a good dayi love you dad,3.0
661,pushing away people you love how do you guys deal with the aftermath of pushing away people who care for you because this is not a fun time and i feel like complete shit for hurting the person i care about most,3.0
662,bkgirlfriday gives you a huge hug my condolences to you and your family ,2.0
663,catscoop except we lost   get em tomorrow though,2.0
664,was going to buy groceriestaking girls to chickfila instead  ,0.0
665,really tired of feeling so crappy i want to feel normal again ,2.0
666,tttorrez italian  italian is always comforting when its cold ,0.0
667,anybody know a nice herbal way to kill moths  i have a major problem ,2.0
668,my car has diedddd ,2.0
669,working i feel so sick ,2.0
670,rachelgriffith i just had mine done last weekendno more greys thank goodnessyep  i have some grey ,2.0
671,credulesque i wannt join  i love prons,2.0
672,thejenniferanne  aww zooey is gone already o,2.0
673,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
674,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
675,how can i get back to being myself again this past week i feel quite different i lack enthusiasm motivation discipline logical thinking etc and it is effecting my productivity i just cant arsed doing anything i havent been around many people for over half a week or even on the bus as i just didnt want to go to lectures if i continue this way it will be detrimental as i have got  assignments to do by may with  being due in april i just cant bring myself to do any work this might be due to burnout since i was working very hard highly stressed and already had some anxiety from novemberfebruary so i decided to it easy and do less whilst i got the chance but i just cant bring myself to work harder again,3.0
676,depressed  inbetween jobs  having trouble finding the motivation to interview my fiancée understandably cannot comprehend my lack of motivation my lack of action and to make it shittier i have no way of articulating it with the exception of spewing a bunch of bullshit excuses i feel so ashamed and sad because i love her so much its clearly if you have depression not about her and my empathy for her pain makes it so much shittier because there is this horrible angst in being completely incapable of describing the pain ive feeling most of the time i do have good days here and there but i really have to get up like mad stimulants or some shit i have gone to some interviews lately and though i think i have a good shot of getting several job offers i am not sure how long i will be able to stave off the depression and keep fighting through and that scares the shit out of me just venting thanks for reading,3.0
677,emilygotswagger me too  im such dork,2.0
678,starry night society  httpstarrynightsocietyblogspotcom  soon itll be time to shake my rusty stargazing skills ,0.0
679,twinstarr my work laptop crashed todayim not sure if i can get my files backmy whole years worth of work ,2.0
680,thejohnset you should get on the live chat its pretty funny ,0.0
681,is watching hrceaubrey ,0.0
682,vschlesinger hey look whos on twitter   very kewl,0.0
683,im dying ,1.0
684,shaunmichaelb weeexd theyre just moneygrubbing  d youre from washington cool ,0.0
685,can anybody give me an answer does anybody here have an experience when an antidepressant did cause you to have violent and very vivid imagery of people attacking you verbally or physically and in turn it causes you to switch into anger or even rage along with having the feelings of helplessness and despairi cant remember the name of the antidepressant but the doc told me they should give me more energy so i can only guessit is better now but i still feel angry every day it is not as severe as it used to but still i took the ad only for a month because of my rage doc did a ct scan on my brain and no damage has been shownnow when i do something that increases my heart rate i get also angry be it coffee or tea or even exercisealso i was bullied verbally a lot slapped a few times if it helpsdid the ad intensified the trauma or something,3.0
686,i wanna play rollerblades all over again ,2.0
687,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
688,lilmssweetness you are superchrug sees all things almost  whap last one lol,0.0
689,madifferens да ты только знаешь что бухать ,0.0
690,really isnt feeling good ,2.0
691,hannahoxton yeah must be hard with ur fuugly looks  might take a while love ye x,2.0
692,tosolini shihwei stevenmatsumoto thanks so much you guys are awesome ,0.0
693,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
694,hepp haha thx totally needed to fax finland ,0.0
695,i like that song shes maybe a biggest fan of selenagomez n im a hugest fan of her someday i wanna make a song for her too ,0.0
696,happy fathers day i love my dad hes at work right now  i couldnt even give him the versace cologne i got him i have to wait ugh,2.0
697,i miss my friend shirley    ,2.0
698,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
699,ive been off my antidepressants for  weeks the pharmacy ran out once the quarantine dropped cause some jackass bought em all now im literally going insane ive got absolutely nobody to talk to and now that i think about it never will,3.0
700,watched boys over flowers episode  on mysojucom  nice  ,0.0
701,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
702,you wouldnt believe how nice it is to close your eyes to a great rock chorus ,0.0
703,bunniespoop i dunno if i can ,2.0
704,my picture didnt work ,2.0
705,rt jazznario me hself care accounts how to stay hydrated just drink  seven rivers having trouble sleeping just dont forget to br,0.0
706,theesc whyd you do this to the pregnant lady its so sad and so happy ,2.0
707,follow billyburke too we love him ,0.0
708,im available to talk for anyone who wants to im open to talk long term or short if anyone needs if someone stumbles across this later on ill probably have gone to bed by  am est ill try to respond in the morning ,3.0
709,pottergaz no worries mate welcome anytime ,0.0
710, how come ,2.0
711,my daughter just threw up on me    she is sick   awww man   ,2.0
712,jessmcflyxxx yeah i know and emma  its so quiet without themxx,2.0
713,love the weather today ,0.0
714,lionsrugbyteam do you now this tshirt  httpbitlyicoss  ,0.0
715,hello twitters  i have a nice day ,0.0
716,just got out of bed it´s almost  in the afternoon don´t feel like doing something these days  ,2.0
717,i have just you tubed shaggyoh carolinai have no idea whyi wish i was in the carribean with a tequila sunrise now  lolx,2.0
718,is gonna bother aklil my favorite ethiopian ,0.0
719,stinaleighbee omg i was addicted to the original now i have to watch that  too  more reason to twitter toghether ,0.0
720,hcolephotos youre a big damn deal  have fun ,0.0
721,lush ride here we come i think ebetha will go as hanel and ill be zoolander ,0.0
722,twittering offnight everyone  good morning to some and have a great day ,0.0
723,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
724,peachlucienne really my globe bill kasi skyrocketed these past few months  easy ba to get a signal kahit for text lang,2.0
725,chevygovroom naw they r stale ,2.0
726,bill died  and not from the five point palm exploding heart technique either  ,2.0
727, if i knew him id absolutely tell him for u ,0.0
728,dark clouds no rain thats just sad ,2.0
729,christy and i are tweeting from geometry class ,0.0
730, did u hear nileys new duet  ,0.0
731,brianmcnugget still your old joker kinda selfim gladi kinda miss it ,2.0
732,im so tired and dreading the drive home tomorrow ,2.0
733,jackieuy i really needed to hear that verse cause i was going crazy about plans after grad hey you got in at the uni you applied for ,0.0
734,hicksdesign past the  month point in a business contract with  or are you being bold and splashing cash ive got to wait  months ,2.0
735,just tried to eat at macaroni grillum not a good idea ,2.0
736,ahhh one week until i am  yayyyy ,0.0
737,kendrawilkinson i have to wait for the  june for it to be aired here in londonboo hoo ,2.0
738,wallacemleban oh damn good luck with that i lost my free lunch pass ,2.0
739,  with my shorties ,0.0
740, weeks latermassive diappointment for me ,2.0
741,izzyukulele i cant connect to msn ,2.0
742,kuttyedathi google is evil  they scans your mails chats and probably even go through your search history,0.0
743,on my way to schoolbeautiful day today ,0.0
744,meaning what makes you live another day,3.0
745, i know ,2.0
746,fraserspeirs go ssd boot drive and you will never come back  ,0.0
747,i just had an awful dream that liam died and my heart wont stop beating so fast smh its making my anxiety kick up for no damn reason,1.0
748,no more suicide posts please guys and gals if you are really going to end your life go seek real help if you dont want help lets keep your suicidal thoughts off redditdepression its not comforting or healthy for us to see maybe there is a suicide subreddit if not start one lets talk about things that help or funny stories of doctors being stupid maybe some friends are assholes and dont understand so you want to tell us or ask advice suicidal posts are not funny or helpful its not a fun topic and it puts that thought into the head of our fellow humans with mental healththanks,3.0
749,dontoyulove that i can be myself around you but dontyouhate that youll never know the difference ,2.0
750,landale excellent thanks ,0.0
751,just got some awesome pho ,0.0
752,well back to starving myself i have always felt like i take up more than i deserve i havent eaten in  dayai wish it didnt feel so right i take up so many resources and i cant work so why should i eat,3.0
753,raindarwin salamat sayang never got to meet you ,2.0
754,i regret punching my brother in the face today first post on here so this marks my first attempt to try out venting on the internet to maybe make things better   diagnosed with chronic depression about  years ago now im not sure when exactly but perhaps thats for the best anyways the point is apparently i have depression honestly to my core i dont think this is true but thats pretty much what everyone in my family thinks my therapist never even outright said it i dont think but alas i was playing video games with my younger brother  we were arguing about something it was minecraft and i wasnt building something for him correctly either way my older brother who is  and just recently moved out of the house chimes in with something along the lines of dont ask him to play with you hes a dick i said something like shut up or fuck you he followed up with kill yourself now i had attempted suicide before so this definitely was a hot topic but then again he does say it pretty often so maybe it lost its edge anyway i didnt say anything i just walked into my moms room where his was laying on the edge of her bed while she was on her laptop of something i got on top of him and punched him directly in the face about  or  times he managed to get up and i somehow followed him to the hallway he was standing and im pretty sure he managed to hit me i dont now i punched him in the side of the face hard as fuck that time he never did anything back he just kinda walked away im really glad he did because ive always been smaller than him along with him being  years older than me my dad rushed in from outside hearing my mother scream for him he began to yell and shit but i just locked myself in my room it felt really really really really good to punch him i honestly cant think of anything more enjoyable in the short term but of course right now is the long term and i feel stupid and weak when i punched him i proved nothing i shouldve just ignored itlike i usually do but i didnt i reacted and furthered the ever widening relationship i have with my brother i love my brother with all my heart i wish i didnt do it,3.0
755,dnoxon treadmill at a minimum probably needs to do a little heavy weight lifting since thats its primary job description ,0.0
756,i want someone to make me cakes ,2.0
757,therealmarkel thats not too bad u can do it  lol,0.0
758,edwin igunza a fellow jkuat comrade  yr marine engineering student committed suicide due to examination stress httpstcognrxlcnhto,2.0
759,chezbrandi th thot of takng nyc trains scares me ppl w signs lyk quoti hav tbquot coff coff yikes germs ,2.0
760,ankitagaba sorry but my brains are quite roasted right now kindly dm a clarification ,0.0
761,constantly thinking and its unbearable depression isnt a sadness to me anyways more of a dull numb feeling makes me want to be lazy and do nothing no desire to even care for myself sleep is the only soothing thing about my life right now and when im not asleep i am either laying in bed or keeping my mind busy with activities such as video games or browsing reddit depression makes me want to do nothing and when im doing nothing its terrible my mind is constantly racing thinking of all the bad things and its driving me crazy i am beating myself up mentally constantly sleep is such a soothing activity and i usually spend  hours asleep every day an eternal sleep is what i need right now my voice echoing my imperfections in my head is getting far too much to handle and i dont have the will power to get out of bed and do things anymore and its causing me to think far too often anybody else feel this way id love to read some responses,3.0
762,dresinatra awee thank you ,0.0
763,nooo that means beinazir is evicted ,2.0
764, thx for your work drinking espresso watching your work now ,0.0
765,brendajos  i love the mens no way i could pull them off but id love to see them at the parade,0.0
766,rt whosmaddyrose im about to take my second depression nap of the day,2.0
767,misspipedream yes urgh its like  of the size of normal bread too   now i live in my own flat i break the rules x slaps hand,2.0
768,im gonna have to give my laptop in soon  i hate it tho so what ever,2.0
769,off to enjoy this beautiful day quotthis is the day that the lord has made i will rejoice amp be glad in itquot  ,0.0
770,i work a dual apprenticeship so i work and school in rotating week tables i have no problem working but every week i have to go to school i just get overwhelmingly depressed ill start off by expressing that i have never enjoyed school i dont like it i dont like the ideology of it i think the system is abused and restricted first of all i am a brit living in germany im learning to be a chef here i do two weeks of work and two weeks of school in a month one week after the other my work weeks i almost always enjoy even the early shifts i usually dont get depressed during a work week but when i get to school i get extremely depressed lethargic zero energy and absolutely no lust to go my class is full of childish idiots they run and chase like  years olds most are over  others between  years old i hate their childish behaviour they throw things shout scream fight and play obviously loud music at  every morning its nothing but party for these people they do not take the class seriously for which they will lose their jobs if they fail the mid year exam i am sick to death of being surrounded by lunatics they make me feel so unsafe i am  years old going to a school that is meant to be the start of my future career and im sharing it with children these people frequently lie cheat swap answers and make up bullshit and the teachers believe it one even set a table on fire once i wouldnt be surprised to find these people dealing drugs because of this i am severely overwhelmed by these classes and there is no way to opt out they are part of my job i even have a migraine right now because they are always so loud they make my anxiety levels sky high even though they are bad enough when normal i honestly am hopeless i already spent highschool with the same kind of people i dont know if i can take that kind of shit again i have to do this for the next  years now and i cant just report people and get them expelled because my class is already too small any smaller and the class will be cancelled and ill have to travel for several hours everyday to a school in another state that shits expensive what should i do how can i help myself get through this cuz there isnt a way of improving the situation it isnt just a few people it is almost the whole class and there isnt another class to switch to i really really despise this class sorry if this post doesnt follow the rules im at school right now and my service isnt strong enough to download the rules so i cant see them,3.0
771,parisb ugh rude ppl are everywhere  wheres the manners,2.0
772,yawn docs mad full im tired gtlt they gonna take  eva to call ma name i might just finish reading my book ,0.0
773, another glorious day here in perth dude  its ,0.0
774,mumsie is in turkey so close yet so far ,2.0
775,whoneedsit thanks hope you have a great weekend ,0.0
776,my parents are refusing to subsidise my macbook if i take it overseas in july itll be an awful excruciating parting love hurts ,2.0
777,justads they used to be behind every bar in every pub here but not any more apparenlty far too oldfashioned these days ,2.0
778,just got her yearbook ,0.0
779,i wanna go see up and try starbucks coffee ,2.0
780,noreenong yes n up till nw i have nt eaten gosh ,2.0
781,nanisnap neoooo its liez ,2.0
782,pelagiapais hehe yes and so delicious im so full now ,0.0
783,how am i supposed to ask for help when i just feel like a burden this might be long i dont know im kind of just rantingso ive been asking my parents to let me see a therapist for almost  months now but its like they dont seem to care they think that i should just talk to them and that its not serious and im just being lazy im done i try to reach out and get help but no one seems to fucking care im just tired of it all i dont even know what im living for ive fucked everything up  they know that ive thought about killing myself and almost tried to commit suicide but they still dont seem to care i dont want to burden my mother with all of my problems and my father isnt an option to talk to but i dont know how long i can continue to go on living like this everything is getting worse ive started having panic attacks and suicide is constantly plaguing my mind im barely holding onto life instead of constantly overthinking everything and feeling like shit i just want to feel normal and happy for once like someone actually cares about my problems even if i have to pay them to care about mei dont know if anyone here can help me i just dont want to feel alone anymore,3.0
784,i need just  person sorry for my english but its hard to tell this for meok so basically im  month i will be  and i cant say that i am in a depression but i have something i cry sometimes at school and everyone says that im weirdand noone talks with me and i dont have friends like not even  i am a shy person and i cry for every fucking thing i hate myself bcs i cant be normal like everyone in my class and i want just  friend who can understand me  and when i see on internet that everyone have a friend and love each other and talk about everything but me nothingi forgot to mention that i am a boy i dont know if it matters ,3.0
785,hurricane season is here ugh ,2.0
786,what a gorgeous day at the beach with mom sister amp precious niece ,0.0
787, dude i could not find anything under   this sucks i didnt want to spend more than  on these tickets,2.0
788,some ppl are soooo kind   looovee ppl who talk to us ,0.0
789,rt munchjin its sad bcos jin is sucha private person and it seems some of you guys are more interested in his family than himself some,1.0
790,calcarriedo haha yea s theres a scratch along the bottom quite small but still ,2.0
791,monochromeyes please come home soon ,2.0
792,the people in my default actually enjoyed me sitting on them jsyk ,0.0
793,flight delayed  watching commencement webcast ,2.0
794,i hate it when i get new stuff and cant even touch it til the end of the day ,2.0
795,billglover the thai bbq is on the back street   u mean 阿婆豆�花 i miss them ,2.0
796,anastaciakayray actually i dont think i can make it  lunch soon,2.0
797,its  am and i cant sleep  watching season  of the hills brody and lauren were so friggen cute togetherrrr,2.0
798, yesterday was the day n u fronted ,2.0
799,pixiemom a weeks worth of laundry for me is like a day for you ,2.0
800,wondering why i didnt think to get lunch from the bakery before gorgeous warm panini ,0.0
801,i want to quit but i feel so stupid ive been depressed for over  and when ever i feel im making progress i end up messing up or something happens and i feel like i got hit in the chest and cant get up i used to be in the military and ive lost good friends and over time it became the norm one months its the guy that you used to hang out the other someone you knew but other times its when your hanging out at a welcome back from deployment and someone kills them selfs in the bathroom and honestly i thought it was ok but ive been out for about a year and i dont feel ok i am alive while others are not im here while they are not what have i done that defines me and what will i do im only writing cause i need a place to vent i was on meds and it worked but at times i had really bad days and it wasnt enough and over time my doctor got me off of them and as much as they helped i thought why do i need it i havent done anything theres those that do and here i am i have a girlfriend who i love and although shes the greatest i dont deserve her i feel like i dont im drunk right now ive drank a su pack maybe more and im drunker than i have been in the last   cause i cant see how i have fallen so much i dont believe in suicide but that would be great right now but i cant like i said before ive had friends who have died and they have done so much that i cant even come close to it and it would be a slap in there face so for taday and there after i will get up im going to get back on meds and im going to go hug my girlfriend who i love and with out her i woudnt be who i am im drunk but tomorrow ill be sober ill regret who i am and think of how stupid i really am thank you for reading this even thought i cant se or hear you i do appreciate your time im going to delete this tomorrow or in an hour i really am drunk and i dont know why im not suicidal im not brave enough and the thought of leaving those behind is to much for me to think about my two dogs my girlfriend and those from the beyond i cant give up ,3.0
802,have had a very nice first day at capgemini summer of code ,0.0
803,getting the remainder of my things from jersey today after work ,2.0
804,jackkolantern hahaha i know twitter put that not me silllly ,0.0
805,rt lifeaseva it isnt easy to get over mental health issues but finding people who understand you and identifying yourself is the first s,0.0
806,talking to my friendon face book not looking forward to going into work today ,2.0
807,this illness is breaking me the number of good days are getting so few and the bad ones arent worse but just persistent two weeks bad with a few days good maybe a week and back all over again then there are the month long episodes one in july nearly cost me my life this month is shaping up to be the same despite this i am confused by my diagnosis of mdd when it cycles like this and i am on yet another medication hopefully one that wont make me a vacant body or shaking from suicidal thoughts my relationship is drowning because i cant care enough about anyone to be bearable or nice to be around my future plans are shit as i dont plan to live to them my therapist has set an end date for my appointments as they claim i am beyond their programs level of care i am on the edge of just breaking down into a messi put up a rational and collected front for everyone including my therapist but i think this will either push my to a silent apathetic early grave or to a child like breakdown where i beg for someone to help me get this under control i dont know why i am postingi just had to get it out there because i am not happy anymore i am recovering and clean of self harm yet i feel worse than i ever did cutting part of me keeps hoping i loss it one night and commit to ending it,3.0
808,just as my dream was about to finish rendering i woke up ,2.0
809,pjwashington and you can always look at your future to see how events would reflect your present ,0.0
810,i was basically told by two people today that i need to lose weight not feeling so great about myself today first my psychiatrist brought it to my attention this morning that ive gained  and that we should discuss this she recommended a dietitian for me to see then my neighbor told me that i should start running with her in the mornings because thats how were gonna get skinny totally unsolicited too i didnt bring anything up about weight or working out i have a hard time feeling good about myself on a good day today i just want to eat my feelings ,3.0
811,wannabepretty yep ,0.0
812,really depressed that its almost summer but rainy ,2.0
813,keishajay your invite ,2.0
814,about to go to sleepflying home tomorrowsaddont want to go home ,2.0
815, i love you i missed you out tonight darling i brought my camera ,0.0
816,things are pretty bad and im so tired i made an account just for this purposeto meet others like me my friends all have mild depressionmostly for lol im so depressed jokes but mine is getting more and more severe everyday and theyre running out of ways to support merecently i had a breakup the relationship was toxic but i stayed anyway because i was hurt yes but it comforting to know someone loved me we broke up a few days ago after  months of being together he fell out of love with me ive been distraught ever sinceon top of that my home life isnt too great my little sister is fat lazy and often makes messes without cleaning after herself she has diabetes and eats tons of carbs wirthout covering when i tell her to do anything i am met with attitude my little brother makes messes too and i have to clean a ton everyday he also has autism so he cannot vocalize what he wants i have to guess and guess what he wants to eat if its incorrect he starts flipping out hes also very destructivemy pencils for school are all gone because of him breaking them and throwing them aroundmy mother is emotionally absent talking to her about this only makes her upset i told my fatherwho is divorced my dad sent her a text about this she spent new years with her boyfriend rather than us received the text during her vacation and when she came home and saw a few things on the floor she got very angry at us she said we told our father lies that we complain a lot for a bunch of lazy kids this isnt the first time this has happened in middle school she yelled at me for having low grades despite us going through a lot emotionallythe divorce sexual harassment and even assault the bullying i went through the mental stress of being behind in school we lived in the hood so youd think shed know im missing some of my education and moving to a good school caused me to be behindspeaking of school that isnt going well either i come from a poor background the hood the schools there have no funding and the teachers sucked im missing a lot of skills that my friends who lived in this rich place already have my friends who lived here all their lives are getting places and dating having money and high grades in everything especially math and science and im only good at art and reading things no one cares about and even then my art teacher hasnt even praised my work once despite me obviously being at a higher level than my classmates art wisemy grades suffer due to my home life my gpa is somehow a  but im afraid thatll change soonnot to mention all the times people have screwed me over because i care about others way to darn muchmy counselor doesnt help really hes weird and he just kinda says use your coping skills which i cannot do without feeling guilty for not looking after my siblings for a secondall i ever want in life is to get marriedhave kids be a character designer and travel the world im even learning spanish so i can hit latin america first but my goals seem so out of reach and i feel like becoming a pothead instead of trying to manhandle life for my future more and more oftentldr im alone and broken i dont know what to do im super stressed and ready to let my grades drop and let life win its been this way since i was  to now as a  year oldsoon to be  and its literally the most miserable thing its like a shitty anime character backstory honestly and i cant fix myself until  assuming i even get into college,3.0
817,depression heres the thing i doesnt matter how good things are if my family and friends are good with me i even have the chance to make my biggest dream but due to my depression nothing seems worth it i feel that it doesnt matter if i become successful it still not going to make me happy my other dream was to go and travel around the world but even that seems like nothing right now i just dont know what to do,3.0
818, i like the blog but it needs a better header ,2.0
819,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
820,berndvolcker theres never an overload when youre charging ,0.0
821,xbllygbsnii keep doing the trending topics like post heaps  youll get folk then you alright  dont like you being ill ,2.0
822,need someone to talk to i need help hi i am a  year old male that has been struggling with depression and anxiety for a very long time i am also an alcoholic i drink to stop feeling so bad so yeah i am typing this drunk as usual but i need helpi have tried therapy and so much antideppressants that it feels unreal i also have a tendency to depersonalize and usually get stuck with that feeling for a while nothing has been working i dont know what to dothank you for reading may your god bless you,3.0
823,i solved the problem i figured out how to not commit suicide my depression makes me want to kill myself however committing suicide is probably the only thing that could make me happy my depression also makes me hate myself and think i dont deserve happiness which i would get from suicide therefore my hatred of myself is the only thing keeping me alive humorless laughter,3.0
824, something better than the free hugs campaign ,0.0
825,im off to watch big bro finally final touches of coursework complete eee miss college already was a right laugh ,2.0
826,so ready for a run but it is raining ,2.0
827, awwwww  give im a hug for me ,0.0
828,rt healingmb mental illnesses matters  mentalhealth stigma depression anxiety ptsd menatlhealthmatters httpstcohxvcckgvpk,2.0
829,zanessaxniley heres the first part httpbitlyfycpg  the others are in the profileso is sonny ,0.0
830,i got to talk to  but then we lost the call i was so mad ,2.0
831,emarketingguru thanks ,0.0
832,school gave me a call as a safety check have been having a super rough time the past couple months for myriad reasons decided to use my universitys counseling services they have you fill out a fairly extensive questionnaire prior to your first visit apparently my answers were disturbing enough that they felt the need to call me first thing monday morning to do a safety check didnt think i was that bad off feel even shittier now ,3.0
833,i have big stomach ache ouch ,2.0
834,siyab yeah ,0.0
835, more exams to go   more weeks then its over cant wait ,0.0
836,wait i aint realize its senior week down here dats y dez kids goin wild smh o well party tyme ,0.0
837,jeremyfritsche your understanding would require taking paragraph  out of context but  could lead to opting out of every class ,2.0
838,right now i think im the most happiest ive been in a long time i just love life right now ,0.0
839,randomknits nope cant do it in sock weightonly dk or higher ,2.0
840,o dear what happened to me i am now also an  owner ,2.0
841,i want to forguet i need to forguet pleasee please never want something more than that    pl e a se ,2.0
842,iheartlost oh pish ive been following jamesgunn since he first joined his dog even tweeted at me once ,0.0
843,filinadiangirl congrats on the poprocks you must be very proud ,0.0
844,lovekelsey shes not coming to detroit  only grand rapids in october,2.0
845,graduation    but im gonna miss the peeps i wont see next year ,2.0
846,cierraeve i dont know whats going on ,2.0
847,xbabyv httpbitlyeznrb  choose this one  hehe,0.0
848,rt  visit us today to kick depression in the face  ,2.0
849,actually i kinda like the rain ,0.0
850,brittjaunt no no not myspaceyoutube twitter amp facebook will merge in the future to form the ultimate time waster youtwitfacecom ,0.0
851,make these changes now wellness health,2.0
852,signing off what a magnificent day  until ,0.0
853,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
854,why cant i install whs in a virtual machine vmware fail ,2.0
855,i dont understand what to do im a navy veteran who was diagnosed with depression while in the service  when i was finally released from the military for my depression issues that would not allow me to sleep for days that was it i was released  i had no idea what to do or how to go about doing any treatment  i still do not have a full understanding of what im suppose to do  i dont even slightly know what to do or handle myself  im trying to go through treatment finally my wife has helped me understand a little about treatment  i want to do better and be better but the feeling i have in my head about myself drag me down so down  i hate myself i hate the way i feel i wish i could be better  i use to feel nothing i was just emotionally numb but im trying to open up and feel which not i dont even know what i am feeling  im a mess i use to feel nothing now im feeling all these wrong emotions that are making me worse  im directing my issues at the only person i have which is my wife  they arent the way i truly feel but my issues and starting to feel are messing with me  i dont know what im suppose to do or how to feel  i have no one to reach out to or to talk to   i feel like no one would care  i wish i would not wake up  i wish so much i would just not wake up almost every night  i dont want to feel the way i do i feel like im destroying the only person i have with my feelings and emotions  i dont even want to be around myself why would anyone else  i have appointments coming up soon to get me seeing whatever or whoever i need to i dont know how im going to feel  im so lost and feel so alone  ,3.0
856,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
857,does anyone have any experience taking setralinezoloft heyso this week ive  been prescribed the  daily dose of setraline and today is my third day on it i know its way too early for it to kick in so far ive only experienced dry mouth and slight nausea but nothing unbearable ive done some research but i wanted to read some personal stories and  experience with it good or bad ,3.0
858,stuck  home missing out on another beautiful day ,2.0
859,change your mind change your brain and life depression anxiety mindfulness happiness worry mentalhealth ,2.0
860,i think i love him i want to love him why cant i just say it ,2.0
861,raawry lol good id we should all dress up as twitt bird and listen to twit podcast all night apattys thanks ,0.0
862,im fn bored and twitter isnt doing the trickguess ill jus stick to the rules from now on and jus twit what im doin at the moment ,2.0
863,tweetassness  nice lol,0.0
864,why are people so horrible and hateful these past few days ive been working on trying myself happier i have autism and knowing that ill never be like everyone else it heartbreaking and everyday is such a struggle to me i visited my counsellor a few days ago and she told me that it is ok to be who i am and that i should pursue my few interests today i got out of bed and visited my nan which was a huge step forward today and i felt so happy for once later that day i was browsing the internet and found a video about katie hopkins before watching this i had no idea who she was but when i watched the video i learnt what a disgusting piece of shit she is the worst part for me was that the directly mocked autistic people and hearing that put a horrible feeling in my stomach i try so hard to be like everyone else and my everyday life is hell but i still try hard to make it through and hearing this genuinely made me feel worthlessi didnt choose to be this way and im slowly learning to live with it but when vile pieces of shit are saying horrible things about a condition i have i feel like the world fucking hates me i would happily kill myself to be like everyone else i genuinely hope people like this learn the true meaning of sufferingwatching the video made me realise that people like this exist in the world and not just her but her fucking disgusting supporters who make it their job to spread hate around the world no wonder im fucking depressed i could be a functioning happy human being if people werent so hateful for factors that others cannot control on some certain subreddits people are literally defending racism and it makes me think why would i want to be alive with people like this in the worldim probably just overthinking this and getting overupset like i usually do i really want to get this off my head as i doubt i will be sleeping tonight ,3.0
865,shaping up to be a bad week for me ,2.0
866,possible suicidal ideation how do you derive purpose and meaning in your life what makes your life worthwhile looking for reasons and ideas to find purpose and meaning in my life i think the title says it all i wake up every morning wishing i was dead and then struggle to get out of bed i am physically agitated all the time and have lost the ability to sit still and read books for pleasure which is something that i loved to do i am currently looking for a job at  changing careers and in debt but find that i have no purpose or meaning in my life i was hoping people here could give me ideas on what gives them purpose and meaning in their lives thank you so much for your time its very much appreciated,3.0
867,testing twitter on my phone ,0.0
868,  wheniwerealad lass i used to love going fishing with my dadthe two of us some  years ago ,0.0
869,rudedoodle very odd ,0.0
870,davidlian woot  but i think this person con me laif only two days ago how did he get it a few weeks back hmmmm,0.0
871,jus wish da rain could wash me away  a new place ,2.0
872,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
873,hey shaunarawrrx  i saw the jonas brothers in concert one night on south park ,0.0
874,isolation in college i am in college it is miserable i belong with nobody my professors also see me as a problem in the class because i am not able to follow the classes and do well in assignments and tests the crowd in my college is full of horrible and shallow people they judge eachother and me on grades and clothes and moneyi have medical depression and anxiety disorder my roommate is shallow she told me that i am insane i have no friends here college is isolating i want to go back to my hometown but i have to finish this degree or atleast try to finish it as i am the first girl in my family to go to college people were very terrible in this college and i could not handle this alone i still cannot just passing somehow very bad gradesthis is my last semester here i want to go home desperately but i just gotta try to work this stiff out if i can have you felt isolated in college how did you cope how to fit or not to fit in this wrong set of people should i leave i will probably fail this semester so i would have to leave anywayany help would be appreciated,3.0
875,should water her lawn and flowersi cant believe theyre still alive  thats miraculous in itself  poor little things ,2.0
876,shitizen yes i missed the wanton mee d but i miss my domo kun even more  ,2.0
877,school work getting my hair done  finally,0.0
878,rt wiredjp 植木鉢と合体させれば、水槽がメンテナンスいらずに？  米スタートアップが開発した小型の自浄式水槽  ＜アーカイヴ記事＞  httpstcohubrmlhozi,0.0
879,omt  oat meal time  todays combo oatmeal molasses mission bay figs prunes cinnamon,0.0
880,bgt tnight and then the wrestler ,0.0
881,angelabuchman are you out of headshots yet ,0.0
882,saw the cutest bouncy seat at target  bout my first bottles in  yrs,2.0
883, hey  you ok,0.0
884,anyone ever had roboxetine  hey just found this archived post i need advice dr has tried many many ad and hadnt tried roboxetine had me reducing venlafaxcin from  by  a week and then introducing  of roboxetin  anyone elses ever had it  cant find anything anywhere of people who have  scared as  week in flat broken sleep  no drive  any good news anyone  not read much good about it,3.0
885,kookyideas get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
886,ive felt lost without twitter its good to be home ,0.0
887,oh charlotte and dan how cute you were please come back   ,2.0
888,shannonsteele wish i hadnt looked at twitter before i finished this episode ,2.0
889,im thinking this thing is rubbish compared to facebook and cant seem to find any friends ,2.0
890,on my way to work major headache ,2.0
891,need to find some hot heels and a quotfreak emquot dress for vegas baybeeee ,0.0
892,ranajay yes of course  haha i think he won an emmy for this right,0.0
893,ddlovato i cant wait til toniiight ,0.0
894,e badu was here tonight marie called missed the call she had an extra ticket for me my ish was on vibrate i missed the whole damn show ,2.0
895,my actual heart hurts constantly how do you guys fight it when youre sitting up at night and the thoughts spiral and youre paralyzed and you would rather curl up with an old stuffed animal than do anything productive at all i feel so desperately alone and like the people who are supposed to have my back have abandoned me,3.0
896,still looking for work ,2.0
897,im gonna have to pull an all nighter to finish all this shit ,2.0
898,will be in melbourne from friday  wooo strip club crawl i need a job lol,0.0
899,ashventure zilch angmogirl  peace ,0.0
900,dont be sad because sad spelled  backwards is das and das no good,1.0
901,a lot of us stans like bts and all but really fucking hate armys lmao and with good reason too some people are j ,0.0
902,somekindoffun  woooo brian i have to miss it to because of work ,2.0
903,ive been single for  years now waiting for god to send me my prince amp he has so im just waiting for him to propose  talk  u later,0.0
904,just said bye to bri for  long days  ,2.0
905,i just wanted to share this somewhere just when i feel im finally doing well it hits me out of nowhere and its like if id gotten paralyzed or something and my whole plan for the day just crumbles and i really really really hate feeling this way and how even though my boyfriend and parents are supportive they have things to do and cant always be there for me i just feel awful and want this to stop i want everything to stop ,3.0
906,about to board plane to sg thank goodness for lcct wifi gonna miss malaysia ,2.0
907,a nagy phil  professional poker player  follow  poker wsop philhellmuth,0.0
908,do you ever go through a cycle of wanting to open up to people and then not like minor inconveniences happen and build up over time until i have a mental breakdown and so ill want to open up to people but then referring to past experiences i know most people arent wellequipped to deal with my emotions have their own problems or just dont care enough and so it just happens again and againanyone else know how to cope im doing therapy and exercising daily with a few exceptions and eating better and restricting my diet because i stresseatbinge i just cant anymore,3.0
909,i just want to have it all end its getting worse and worse even thogh my life is objectively not bad i want it to have an end everything i try to do angainst it feels like a mistake and bad i dont have anything to tell ppl because all i think is about how bad i amfeel and i am at a point where i dont really think anything will help me i dont really have a therapy yet but the more time passes the more doubts i have the only thing that halped me is talking to my ex but she still has negative feelings an i think talking to her will make everything between us just worse idk what else to say for those in the same situation good luck and pls look for help i think all humans are great persons and those who are strong in bad situations are the greatest of all,3.0
910,working on transfer papers then lunch with luke ,0.0
911,mariemonopoly lucky yesterday it was  here ,2.0
912,patiently awaiting the dumb stupid rain to leave so i can move along with the site apparently doing my shoots outside was a bad idea ,2.0
913,oh my god im so ill  gotta goto work,2.0
914,rooshmk i think i will read them all in order p  but i will see how this one goes ,0.0
915,i envy the guysgals who can use tweetdeck ,2.0
916,cả ngày chơi foozball chằng làm việc gì ,2.0
917,rt standwithus ✅ shes called for suicide bombings 💣 amp stabbings 🔪✅ family members have literally murdered israeli 🇮🇱 children❗️✅ her pa,2.0
918,greeneash good night from denver  wish i was in berlin,0.0
919,launch verified is what i say when i make my bf cum by bat fucking him up his ass he squirms like a little anal slut  wwwkellikanyonnet,0.0
920,first day and kena  hrs  can die  ,2.0
921,humiliation i am a conservatory student and i play violin i was standing in a circle and i was looking over a passage along with other violinists we took turns playing a series of excersizes with that passage and i did the worst i failed really badly i am so tired of being the worst every time i walk in the room the face of the violin teacher said it all i feel as if i cant succeed at anything i am so tired of it i really hope i catch cancer ,3.0
922,added  hindi songs to his playlist ,0.0
923, really thats mean no mine seem to be ok atm its so annoying though ,2.0
924,baby i need you ,2.0
925,i am up and around at a quotgodawful hourquot  so say some peops lol ,0.0
926,no one uses twitter anymore this makes me very sad  i dont want to go back to facebook,2.0
927,finally did it made my way to the gym only took a while year of saying i would do it now im going back home sore as crap to go study for my comptia a certificationi wouldnt say i beat it but i took one step forward and not a step backward for once fighting major depressive and ptsd never felt better,3.0
928,ooh so this is what  am looks like ,0.0
929,rt davidfrawleyved the psychological aspect of ayurveda connected to yoga samkhya and vedanta is of great importance to counter the stre,0.0
930,luvinmesomed totally sad  eeee lets not think about that dont wanna get all sad then i already am ,2.0
931,rt ssquishyyoongi rt if you are suffering post ii depression,2.0
932,people always askin me how i got so skinny wanna know my secret depression,1.0
933,made breakfast for the madre showering up lunch at carrabas later makin dinner too tired came up with name for my game ,0.0
934,sophielaurenn lol ahhhh i hope it goes quick  you got the jonasbrothers lines vines and trying times yet ox,0.0
935,the wifi on my iphone stopped working today its out of warranty too ,2.0
936,pink awwwwwwww  i introduce u to geni  the dog tht wont stop  me p,0.0
937,johnny depp was just  feet away from me holy shit ,0.0
938,miizgemiinii ummm excuse me missycan wewe as in you so not me lol hav this baby already i wanna go to the bay amp c her already ,0.0
939,happy birthday kuya loves you ,0.0
940,wrote a poem about my social anxiety hope this isnt against the rules or anything but basically need to vent a little bit i work with a small group of people  in total but it always seems i cant connect with any of them so a lot of times we just sit in silence and i hate it because i am so bad at socializing this is what i wrotegtits quiet herepeaceful even is what i might call itif not for the roars in my headgtthe tick of a clockthe hum of a radiothe occasional exchanged glancegtthe absence of wordsthe presence of silencemore unsettling by the secondgtthat silence is deafeninggtits quiet to youbut not to me,3.0
941,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
942,having a friend to hangout with might help ive been struggling lately with depressive thoughts and being at home doesnt help with getting out this rut i am in i figured maybe it would be nice to meet some new friends and actually talk to them in person i live in the houston area but cant travel far maybe thats what we all we need someone who can kinda empathize with you,3.0
943, racqueal luvb chanellatrice smclayton  last night was fun ladies sorry i had to be a party pooper ,2.0
944,im very allergic to my dog and it makes me sad,2.0
945,someone help  im in a long distance relationship i dont really have alot of friends and i just see other peoples snapchat stories and see their lives and its making me sad because nobody ever hits me up to hang out or they just make excuses i dont know what to do how do i cope,3.0
946,hilaryjp may get more sense  hi,0.0
947,marleematlin isnt all technology and internet addictive somehow ,0.0
948,rt beingumarnawaz youre all i think aboutwhen im alonehappysada messat my bestin a crowded roomfull of joyfalling apartawake,1.0
949,feels like its one set back after the other good news then bad news ,2.0
950,tball seasonwoot  just hope my kid figures out that you gotta run to first base after hitting the ball ,0.0
951,just lost a friend because i admitted i used to drink a lot ive been talking and hanging out with someone for the last two weeks or so we really hit it off we had a lot in common and i considered them to be my friend then i did something i really shouldnt have they casually asked if i smoked and i didnt think much of it and i responded with telling them no but i was a bit of an alcoholic my sophomore and junior year then they just got so angry at me and told me they cant stand people who drink or smoke because their weak for the rest of the day they were really distant and rude ive tried texting them but they became short and sometimes ignored my messages or calls so i asked them if we were still friends and they told me that we were notive been sober for almost six months and im so angry that i was so weak as to take that first drink two years ago and that i wasnt good enough to be someones friend i hate myself for being weak and pathetic as to lose what little friends i have,3.0
952,im a horrible mistake im not that smart my mom is a very smart woman working on her doctorates in psychology as you can see i have a lot of pressure on me i failed my geometry class im in  grade btw i shouldve taken it last year but thats a whole nother story i honestly tried my best to pay attention study and pass but i failed i went to tutoring every tuesday and thursday and most of the time i had to walk home i honestly tried and it wasnt enough im currently on my  week break and im almost back to school soon my mom will find out and say how im a failure like by brother and my dad i genuinely tried to do good for my mom step dad and my friends but i failed in the end shes gonna find out soon and all i can really do know is just lock my self in my dark room play smt monster hunter animal crossing and pokemon thats all im really good at suicide has never looked so good right now,3.0
953,me and simon are dating now ,0.0
954,has cookie dough poisoning ,2.0
955, haha ppl r pry addin a fake now  ,0.0
956,its not raining we should have gone bungee jumping girl  rugby club is crazy,2.0
957,nothing for now ,0.0
958,selenagomez whats up with ur myspace selena ,2.0
959,i have classes again in exactly  days college gives me so much fucking anxiety its not the amount of the peopl ,1.0
960,it makes me happy every time that barcardi commercial comes on because of the mattandkim song in it ,0.0
961,my depression i thought i would share my current situation and see if anyone could offer some advice or is going through something similar im a  year old male still living at home with my parents through no fault of my own other than debt from university and only getting a decent earning job in the last  yearsthroughout my life ive always felt separated i have had friends some really close one of that but ive never felt as though i can connect to people ive had numerous failed relationships with all my ex girlfriends breaking up with me cause things were flat and it wasnt going anywhere i never really thought about it much the last few years have been a real struggle for me as i have got older ive become more aware of my feelings i realised that throughout my life ive always had this overwhelming feeling of weight on my shoulders in situations where i should be happy im just not its not that i am sad i just dont seem to feel anything and i always feel like im on the outside of life i just kinda shook it off as that was the normal way to feel in life anyways  years ago i met my current girlfriend and things were great up until last september we went to a friends wedding and afterwards for whatever reason we had a bit of an argument over nothing alcohol didnt help but all of a sudden i just decided i was gonna end it with her she took it really badly and rightly so we had no issues up until that point suddenly something in my head just clicked the feeling of tiredness craving junk food my lack of energy my lack of emotions my inability to experience love as i should do the weight on my shoulders it all just come to a head and i had full blown mental health breakdown in the middle of our hotel room i remember clear as day laying on our bed a blubbering mess and just muttering the words i think im depressed suddenly everything made sense i dont know where it came from or what made me say it but i suddenly felt like the weight i had been carrying for all of my living memory was gone i talked everything through with my girlfriend got things sorted and went to the doctors afterwards where i was diagnosed with moderate severe depression and put on medication i completed the course of antidepressants and quite frankly felt the best i ever had done things have been good up until the last month or so where i can feel that weight coming back im feeling disjointed from life again my energy levels are dropping and im enjoying time on my own more than time with my family and friends the problem is i cant bring myself to talk about it again i know i should and i know that as soon as i do i will feel so much better but something inside of me is stopping that im not sure if its to do with my job without going in to too much detail most of the things i deal with are to do with death and destruction ive seen dead children people die in horrific road accidents victims of stabbings and part of that requires me to phase out and deal with whats in front of me i guess thats why im good at my job i dont know maybe im rambling maybe i just need to be honest with myself and talk but something inside is stopping me from doing that thank you for reading any advice would be appreciated ,3.0
962,gleeofficial rachel shes like a miniidina  or even better idina ,0.0
963,this is the kind of things that makes me sad you know😔 when i first discover bts i was mourning the loss of my gr ,1.0
964,going home gonna rent a movie and cuddle with myself ,0.0
965,anyone else want to see paris  tonight filmstreams with nerdytwerd and me its at  and free for students ,0.0
966,mrstallent darn it  too far,2.0
967,wow it kills me how much i neglect twitter lawn mower is brokenis that worth saying bible study in an hour also jon and   kate ,2.0
968,i an in my own bed for the first time in a week gah i missed it ,0.0
969,jennypennifer sending blessings your way in gratitude for quotamazingquot followfriday mention ,0.0
970,danixo hahaa awwh hugz atleast you had fun  you at that langholm picniccy thing tomorrow x,0.0
971,making a cuppa ,0.0
972,looking for a job today im sure ill get something i need to ,0.0
973,asks ano examples ng philippine society help me pls  ,2.0
974,rt kmoranont young canadians are reaching out for mental health help more than ever investigation shows ,0.0
975,is tired  is having an awesome and busy weekend so far  ,0.0
976,aroadretraveled  right ok yes twitter was having some fun too ,0.0
977,rockbuddy lol love my riding mower hate looking for part ,2.0
978,japoks doc said it was a booster shot ,0.0
979,just got home from cecilles school tomorrow ,2.0
980,childhood friends i miss everyone from elementary school i miss them all so much i wasnt even close with them its not that i didnt have any friends but i still feel like i was a weird annoying hyper kid if thats not just my low self image even though they all probably dont give a shit about me i wish they were all still in my life i wish we were close,3.0
981,does anyone else wish they had the courage to off themselves but are too cowardly to do anything basically title i sit around all day self loathing but i am too cowardly to finally jump off my balcony,3.0
982,bummer mr plumber who locked the keys in the truck with the motor running hangers not doing it  ,2.0
983,mileycyrus  im so glad that you are comming to the uk in december for your tour ,0.0
984,lolpastor teacher mental health nurse damn girl are you sure your not wonderwoman coribush,0.0
985,rt  another reason to get out and votesupport realdonaldtrump ❤️🙏🏻🇺🇸 ,0.0
986,nathbrudenell its gonna be ace my friends up from london and the drinks will flow ,0.0
987,just updated her accessorie collection with  new coach bags and a wallet off work in a few strained calf muscle ,2.0
988,xtwilighter yea i was planning on doing it earlier but my aunties came  got a ruby and millie make up set not baking  just dunno how,0.0
989,damitric  thanx for the luv lol,0.0
990,richizfly and for the records u dnt got meur still pushin like the little engine that could lol ,0.0
991,jennywaite youre awesome ,0.0
992, aww thats sweet its a lot of work i like it when i can play but at the moment it keeps going wrong which sucks ,2.0
993,woooo bank holiday this of course means youve got more time to visit us ,0.0
994,it wont ever get better the loneliness really got to me the past few months i seriously just want to lie down and pass away  i was always the odd one out never had much friends but now i pretty much dont  i gave up on fitting in i pretty much gave on trying altogether  everywhere i go i face constant rejection i dont fit in already established friens groups and the most important of all out on public im either a ghost or a tool for people to use and then dispose of   i got a psychiatrists appointment this thursday lets see what that brings  if that wont work which im sure it wont i think its time for me to call it quits and find out if afterlifereincarnation is a thing  you know  ,3.0
995, btstwt yeah i just put it i am so sad 😭😭😭😭😭,1.0
996, okay well im only downtown for another hour or so  and i cant dm you cos youre not following me ha,2.0
997,work was splendid ,0.0
998,talulakim re visitingi know been way too long so well plan it before our  high school reunion then lol   omg were old lol,0.0
999,depression it started a few months ago im  years old i was driving home from work feeling perfectly fine and then i felt this weird numb sensation on the left side of my chest its been multiple months and it hasnt gone away i also feel lightheaded and just bad all the time this is the worst ive ever felt in my life and the worst year of my life by far im completely sober now also i used to vape thc oil a lot i thought it was a lung problem related to vaping this mct oil i used for the first time but ive been to many doctors and had many tests and they all say they cant find anything wrong with me and they think its mental im considering starting medication even though im still not convinced this is  mental i dont even know what to do anymore may look for in person support groups my parents just screamed at me for not going out recently and said i was in solitary confinement every weekend i wish i could go out like i  used to i never thought anything like this would happen to me i literally feel like im living on a different dimension than the last  years of my life but it developed so suddenly i was perfectly fine one minute then depressed the next minute for no reason is that even possible has anyone experienced anything like this before can it go away on its own i feel like the trajectory of my life has been completely altered i feel like this will never go away and am stuck like this for the rest of my life i dont know what to do all i know is im scared frustrated sad and confused every single day at all times and this strange numb sensation in the left side of my chest just wont go away i dont know if it ever will,3.0
1000,how diet influences anxiety  via medscape,1.0
1001,pjhodges a pagan podcast  deos shadow a mind podcast  braincast and a spiritual  motivational one  huna trainer ,0.0
1002,almost burned my apartment down lesson learned never use votive candles on oil burners ,2.0
1003,quotthe showquot is playing and leelonn is not here  hahaha autotune quotno t pain for meeeeeeeequot haha,2.0
1004,simplysinister agreed  j amp k love those kids and its always been so apparent but the media could care less and is already attacking em,2.0
1005,shooting hoops i am very sweaty now ,2.0
1006,dailygrinddb i will definitely come try soon especially because you guys twitter that alone is reason to come visit ,0.0
1007,wiggyndc let me know what else you see ,0.0
1008,logical depression hello people of rdepression first post so go easy on me pleasedoes anyone ever experience very shitty thoughts like ill never be good enough for anythingi hate my face and my body and my everythingno one actually loves mebut sometimes i catch myself thinking that and i realize that thinking these thoughts are a result of my depression and that they arent  valid but somehow i still believe them and i overthink it so im just like i dont know a lot of change is set to happen this year and i dont know how ill deal with it my prediction ill be dead by october,3.0
1009,kristen i am yours in week   i love you xox,0.0
1010, aww good luck nina  have fun im sure everyone will love you ,0.0
1011,has burnt my hand on the cooker it hurts ,2.0
1012,xxloszahxx but  taken duh face,0.0
1013,haha amazing last saturday night in monads gonna miss everyone so much ,2.0
1014,off to college back later ,0.0
1015,im pissed cause my phone isnt cooperating properly  or mayb its me ,2.0
1016,last day seems like everything going to enda lonely wandering soul,3.0
1017,my tummy hurts ,2.0
1018,officialnjonas yes i belive u guys are keeping it real  love to hear from you  jordan,0.0
1019,i give up i dont have it in me to keep going anymore i am done i am   next month and been on ssissd for the past few years i am unable to work because of mental issues like severe social anxiety and ptsdi am  lbs obese and have been obese since a child i have hormone issues that make it very difficult to lose weight when i had my meds upped i lost  lbs doing nothing but gained it back when my body got used to them i have dyslexia and i am a bit slow at learning and have a very hard time trying to learn things and understand certain things i have a  grade education on paper tried for ten years to get my ged and failed even with tutors teachers etc i have spent ten plus years off and on being homeless crashing for a week with a family member then being kicked out on the streets i have done many things for money from repairing cars to doing construction and building porches and decks to plumbing i have worked with local bands and worked in the rodeo scene and even had my cdl to drive  wheelers but no trucking company would hire me because i had no verifiable work history on cash under the table type of jobs i have been shot stabbed robbed jumped on while being homeless my own family has tried to kill me especially my step dad he was the worst of them all he raped and molested me when i was age  to  then by the time i was  i had an uncle who forced me to have sex with his daughter my cousin her and i were the same age and from  to  her and i had sex daily i was forced to have sex with one of my aunts on top of already being raped and molested by my step dad and an uncle and having incestuous relationships with one of my cousins my step dad would beat me till i was either bleeding or he got tired of hitting me when i was  to  i grew up on ten acres of land and was kept home from school unable to go to school ever i was forced into slave labor by my step dad and forced to work on the ten acres of land we had and at times when i was being punished he would chain me to the big pine tree we had in the front yard the rest of the time i had concrete blocks chained to my ankles and made it where i was unable to go far or run away when i was  my step dad sprayed roach spray in the kitchen knowing my grandma was on the couch in the living room and knowing she was  years old with severe asthma not long after he sprayed it she had a severe asthma attack by the time the ambulance showed up she had died when i turned  i ran away from home my mom never cared as long as she had someone at  my step dad left my mom for her uncle at  i had watched my cousin who i was forced to have sex with end her life i walked over to her house and found her in her bedroom hanging by a rope i grew up from age  to  watching my mom over dose or cut her wrists trying to end her life some times she came close other times not so close when i was  she ended her life and succeeded at it when i was  i found my real dad and only got to know him for a few months before he died of liver failure from age  to  i been on the streets and when i was in homeless shelters i had guys try to rape me or steal my stuff when i left them that morning i had other homeless guys trying to rob me and held me at gun point knife point shot me stabbed me etc  i have witnessed many people ending their lives i was walking down the street heard this woman screaming from inside her home i run up and the door was open i go in find her knelt down on the floor holding her son who had a gun beside him and a suicide note on the table i called  and tried getting her to go outside i had witnessed a guy crashing in a car and the car caught flames i ran up but couldnt get to him and witnessed him burning alive and begging and screaming for god to help him i had witnessed several others end their lives or die horribly i even had a friend who was homeless and we were sitting and talking and he was talking about how he couldnt take living life anymore pulled a gun out and shot himself then bled out in my arms i was covered in his blood the police showed up thought i did it but when they pulled the security tape from the gas station they seen i was trying to stop him to this day i can still see it as if it just happened i am turning  next month and i have been single and alone my entire life i am a guy and have tried for ten years to better my life get an education get a vehicle only to get scammed by the car dealer and lose  dollars i saved up get catfished and horribly rejected by women laughed at mocked at made fun of because of my weight i have spent the past ten years working out and eating right only to not get anywhere with my weight in the mean time my aunt and her son who i rent a room from have lost over  lbs eating the way i do i have spent the past  years trying to find a good woman to get to know and build a relationship with and build a life withi have spent the past ten years in therapy and on tons of meds and nothing has helped with my ptsd or severe social anxiety i have spent the past ten years applying for apartments based on low income and have been turned down because i have no rental history so they wont rent to me i have spent the past ten years trying to find a job i can do at a desk but everything i find is either way too over my head or skill set or i dont understand it and have the requirements they want i have spent over  years doing manual back breaking labor every day and walking ten miles or more a day to the point my body has developed arthritis in my lower back knees hips ankles and feet that i cant do what i used to do i just cant take anymore and cant take being alone and single and lonely and having no one to build a life with or get close to i just cant take anymore i have had enough and dont see any point in trying anymore i am done i am completely donei will never get an apartment in my name i will never get a girlfriend and i will never get a vehicle i will never get a job or career or education  i am just utterly done i just cant take anymore,3.0
1020, welcome  seattle wayway ,0.0
1021,cattustrophic just getting started with it ,0.0
1022,gotta memba that my tooth brush is downstairs ,0.0
1023,oh hai there twitter i took my puppy along on the ride to school  shes a good little girl ,0.0
1024,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
1025,fsez wasnt hot e cold season  e mmt but e hard grounds amp all actuali hurts  ill be careful abt wearg crocs thou and thx  ur tip ,2.0
1026,fridley lol thats funny where ya beeeen ,0.0
1027,rt  alfredojalifer marvinicio  saucedina ,1.0
1028,tynesha hahah   well huhd just went active as well,0.0
1029,stefarknee i wanna watch love actually but i think my sister stole it ,2.0
1030,ive got to be honest i hate wimbledon with a passion now its clogging all my twitter update  time for a twitter withdrawal i think,2.0
1031,rt bondeetss i really cannot stress enough that buddhism is not a fucking trend pls take ur wannabe hippie ass and ur shitty amazon tape,1.0
1032,does anyone else feel like theyre often living an outer body experience im not sure if its an overabundance of stress sadness or anxiety but a lot of the time i feel like im moving on autopilot i was having lunch at work earlier surrounded by loads of people but i might as well have been in my own world sure my body is working and moving but my mind checked out a long time ago,3.0
1033,adderall prescription for depression okay so in summary ive had depression my whole life i have been through psychologists of all ages and experience levels and a psychiatrist here and there i have been given a multitude of medications prozac has been probably the most effective and after taking it for some time i reached the poop out effect regardless i continue treatment with it and have had to beg general doctors to continue my refills  years later with a loop hole in my insurance and my regular doctor backing down from the prescription i quit cold turkey i was horrible and i felt cheated by the system i know psychiatrist dont really care much about your feelings thats what physicologist are for and i understand that some places will only let you see a psychiatrist if you see a therapist first at least thats the case here in my state so im giving it another tryby chance i was given  or adderall by a friend and it blew my mind unlike my depression medication it had an almost instantaneous effect i felt clear headed and at peace with myself and energetic i am aware that adderall is prescribed for adhd and although i have close family members that have i feel that although i have some symptoms of adhd that have depression and no adhdi am tired of going up and down with strangers that may give me something that could make me sick has happened in the past or some professionals thats thread lightly becuase you are not in inmediate danger of killing yourself i wanna take matters into my own hands and take control of my life im not se junky looking for a fix i am positive adderall can help me achieve a better stay of mind alongside therapybut thats where the mistrust on the system comes in i have two options come clean with the doctor and hope that heshe understands my needs or pretend that i have adhd hoping for my own prescription has anyone with depression experience this with adderallany other suggestions would be appreciated ,3.0
1034,i cant be alone i have noticed a trend i am constantly surrounding myself with people and am never actually alone the few occasions i am alone i just feel numb then i start to think of all the stuff that is going on in my life and i just end up crying and falling asleep but as soon as im with someone its like a switch goes off and im perfectly fine again i dont understand why im only happy with others around,3.0
1035,year oldbreak up has left me lonely paranoid and overall unhappy as the title says i went through a breakup a year ago and it completely changed everything everything was shared among ourselves we had intimacy and it felt magical the night she broke it off with me she told me she got asked out by another person that she knew for  weeks even said i know what i want it destroyed my heart my confidence my selfesteem and even my social lifeher friends were also my friends they all had a habit of partying often i wasnt able to attend those parties due to being a full time student at college student and dedicating my time to school school had been weighing down on me my parttime job hadnt scheduled me for  months so money was an issue and my life at home wasnt in the best condition i earned my degree at the end of that semester however i didnt go through the ceremony i didnt want to fake happiness and i didnt have anyone to share the joy with anymorei quit the old job and landed a part time job that has been generous with hours and the coworkers have been kind with me i even got an award recently due to hard work and dedication one of the coworkers genuinely told me its because everyone here loves you i wish that wasnt said very few coworkers know of my story but theyve all been unsure of what to say to me though i do trust those very few it is impossible to hang out with them due to the work schedules i always find myself locked in my room after work and in my days off i only go out to work or see a movie aloneto this very day i have yet to see any of those past friends and my ex it was a conscious decision on my part to not associate with them anymore i wasnt a fan of how they lived no jobs not going to school but they can still go out and party every weekend little did i realize that they were my only friends whenever i do see any of them i get anxious and leave the area immediately by now i thought i would be over it but something always reminds me of what happened and what we had between us it left me very unsure of myself and it makes me wonder if i really do want to be in a relationship again in the future,3.0
1036, the waterfront in georgetown with the kuya and ate ,0.0
1037,princessherb wow bb that is awesome  omg i just remembered i said if i became famous i would wear your designs haha  show me more bb,0.0
1038,and miley deserved a thanks on the thank you page as well  she cowrote one of the songs,2.0
1039,chills does anyone else get so sad and anxious and uncomfortable that they finally just break out into chills  shiver a little bit  its like a physical reaction to the fuckery inside my head,3.0
1040, im having an episode i havent felt this way in so long but the thoughts came back today and i want to literally slit my wrists into fucking shreds i always think the thoughts are truly gone and then sporadic episodes like these make me so disappointed in myself i feel like a complete waste of space and wallow in selfpity and sad songs for a few hours until the trigger dies ironically i was just talking about how i felt better and while i dont have depression anymore it still hides in corners and tiptoes and jumpscares me when i least expect it i want to cut all the time but i dont have any blades and the urge isnt so strong that i need to thank sol,3.0
1041,marquis is saabs bff talaga  onionkrisp abbiealmasco are you and saab m no longer the bffs  ive always seen her with marquis ,0.0
1042,sadieko  thatll do sadie thatll do ,0.0
1043,metropjm yeah same im so sad wish i could help him,0.0
1044,am loving living back at the coast ,0.0
1045,rebeccan says the imbecile that takes everyone at their word blindlythere are none more stupid than those that ,2.0
1046,my complexes and fighting with them hello reddit my name is dima im  years old and im from russia moscow and ive had one eye most of my life this is how i would like to start my story   almost everyone faces with difficulties complexes disappointment and other not very pleasant situations when i was  years old i was diagnosed with retinoblastoma of the right eyeball or to put it simply retinal cancer and my mother had to make the hardest decision of her life whether to leave her child an eye or not perhaps on photo or headline you already guessed it what decision was taken its the beginning of my story which left an unpleasant and painful imprint on all of my life   waking up every morning and looking in the mirror i hated myself i looked and saw myself with an eye prosthesis which unfortunately does not react to light and moves very weakly in society it looked more like a squint of course it kept me down i almost never looked directly into the eyes of the person with whom i was talking in general the childhood i never had when everyone had happy life in school i hated myself and regretted   im grateful to have the network access in the internet i was real brave and confident like most people who have complexes and i had an infinite number of them im sure you know what do i mean   with age people became more adequate and restrained so questions or comments about my appearance i got less but nevertheless every time i faced with situations like collective photo or private conversation i was covered by fear and panic i knew that the photo would look terrible and i tried to avoid these incidents   how could i turn off madness in my head i was fanatically involved in sports trying to correct my figure by the way i did good results as relief body my tattoos were made by very good masters but despite the fact that i looked passable in my head was a complete collapse crazy thought came to me in march  for a moment because i really wanted not to be ashamed of myself to be photographed and even to record a video   why not make a completely black eye prosthesis for example   i referred that people who do not have for example a leg use a prosthesis which immediately suggests that they do not try to simulate a leg so i made it all were surprised including artists and people who did it   here i am walking with it in the center of eye prosthetics where everyone is familiar with my problem i attracted a lot of attention people asked were interested and admired the decision some people even started talking to doctors about the same thing as soon as they saw me   coming out of the center i was very confident looked and saw off views of all people who went to a meeting in the subway i deliberately looked straight into the eyes of people i had encountered from them i had never done this before  and here i got recently wish to create a page in instagram the last  weeks is the first time in my life that i dont use the prism of the internet where i can not talk about my problem i speak openly to you and everyone who knows me with my problem i hope that this story will help you realize that all the problems in peoples heads that no matter how you look its important how you feel about yourself only the last year i try to live fully and this step is proof of that   we all here once and no one will have a second opportunity break down barriers live as you want to   and i will always be happy to see you as visitors of my httpswwwinstagramcomdmitryoym  httpswwwinstagramcomdmitryoym ,3.0
1047,the weather has been shitty today  wish the sun was out  ,2.0
1048,tommcfly sunny sunny sunny perversity only because i got a new coat for the concert today   ps wich tv show casseta amp planeta,2.0
1049,listen  the man guys lets get silly  ,0.0
1050,rt jjfjhhhbri living ,2.0
1051,abilify withdrawal sorry if this is the wrong place to post this i was on abilify and cymbalta since august which did wonders for my depression and anxiety about a month ago i started tapering off the abilify  i had packed on  and im barely  feet and i couldnt lose it even exercising  days a week ive been totally off it for  weeks now while also on cymbalta went up from  to  to help with the transition and adderall which ive been on for years now im doing terribly  severe depression suicidal thoughts i can barely stand up in the shower cant make decisions i cant think clearly to do my job my doctors only advice if i started feeling worse was to go back on the abilify but i dont think i can stand to be this weight any longer also this might sound vain but im also getting married in less than two months and im afraid to even try on my dress ive read abilify has a long half life so should i just give my brain more time to adjust to life without it shouldnt  weeks plus a couple of weeks tapering have been enough or should i call my doctor and ask about adding something else like maybe wellbutrin as an add on to the cymbalta since it seems like the cymbalta doesnt work on its own i just feel lost and helpless thanks for any advice,3.0
1052,is going to holbæk at  am tomorrow morning  fb,2.0
1053,oh boy apparently going to sleep at  pm is too lofty of a goal for me not that its  am ,2.0
1054,ooc  i need to go  ,2.0
1055,madathena hey chick howsyourday which row are we in wtf is ontb lol  ,0.0
1056,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
1057,ignoring malls and dedicating her time for family this weekend isnt that sweet ,0.0
1058,rt essentiallyliv yesterday i started a devotional plan on life with anxiety amp it said something that really stuckthis is your reminde,2.0
1059,when do you disclose your depression with friends potential love interests etc,3.0
1060,going to be picked up by chris very soonidk when ill be able to check twit again i love you meganill see you on  anthony bye mom ,0.0
1061,being a depressed sociopath i have been having horrible mdes major depressive episodes for a long time now and its so hard to talk to my friends about it because i simply have no empathy for them when they try to relate to or empathize to my situation i try to help them like they help me but i do not care i really need help with this stuff but as soon as they turn it to themselves i get frustrated and ignore them its bad i know i just want help but not to pretend to care for others for a fucking second you know i try to empathize with people when they give me help but i could care less and its draining to pretend therapy is way too expensive and i hate how superficial they areoh well im just rambling about how im basically the root of all my problems but its hard to solve them when normal people can only empathize through past experiences or whatever my brain hates me 🙃,3.0
1062,pero i got a date  con superman q vaina ,2.0
1063,cuase im high against my will ,2.0
1064,now that hugh laurie has mentioned he follows stephenfry on twitter thousands of idiots think this hughlaurie is him idiots ,2.0
1065,good time rocking out  open mic thanks  all the love n support now working on business plan presentation no cg again  ,2.0
1066,stuartcookney your only just following me tut tut hows life we av neva met up since ive been bk to bpool   and ur leaving soon,2.0
1067,traceeellisross my day was long bad news my cable went out good news i pulled out my girlfriends dvd no really im having a marathon ,0.0
1068,is not in the mood to work today  bring on my day off tomorrow,2.0
1069,youngq is donniewahlberg rehearsing just please tell him his soldiers miss him ,0.0
1070,haha  was awesome  thank god there were only a few people in the cinema had so much fun with gaby alice  lauralou  x,0.0
1071,woah i lost like  followers  where did yall go haha i prob lost em in the last hour with my over tweeting whatevs theyre loss,2.0
1072,walterslauren ps you need a summer profile pic youre all bundled up  maybe well get a good one in fl ,0.0
1073,cdates thats life  i love you,0.0
1074,i really wish i knew what i did to my back yesterday so i would never do it again in so much pain this morning ,2.0
1075,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
1076,luuloo  im really sorry i know wallah how u feel this life is shittttttttt,2.0
1077,thewbdotcom will you join us ,0.0
1078,jealousy sucks especially between friends ive been after a girl for awhile and she just hugged my best friend at work a pretty romantic hug i just blew it off and went back to work well actually i went out and had a panic attack in my truck and smashed my phone then i punched my door and fucked up my hand thats when i went inside and got back to work it was hell watching them flirt all night and not saying anything because i was choked up i think im gonna stop chasing her im just gonna stay single and sad its a hard feeling cause i hate my friend right now but i couldnt live without him i wish i could just be happy for him ,3.0
1079, i am nice and burnt    ,2.0
1080,brianwelburn good morning you look a bit green today ,0.0
1081,away to bed have  hours til i have to get upp  fingers crossed for tomorrow though xx,2.0
1082,has anyone ever paid their respects to deaths in their local area on a local newspaper obituary page as an example then wish it themselves that were dead instead,3.0
1083,marypiii whats in yer bg anyway  cant read it  natakpan,0.0
1084,katecollinsnyc very good ,0.0
1085,ohhh and and and haha lol swag igotmyswagback hahaa honestly i feel flattered ,0.0
1086,goodmorning tuesday getting less than  hours of sleep can lead to depression anxiety healthynewindia ,2.0
1087,poojarazdan i thought i read  you were awake all night working  sniff sniff ,2.0
1088,suffering from a sunburn ,2.0
1089,dead tired wish i could stop working now and not a week before my due date ,2.0
1090,rippa i go next weekend ,2.0
1091,wow so i have the whole night to do absolutely nothing someone talk to me lets catch up tonight ,0.0
1092, aww sorry honey  hugs,2.0
1093,agirlnamedjen i knowvery coincidental or what the word oh i know synchronicity ,0.0
1094,my current checklist to fight depression im feeling content  this is my current checklist for a happy life i still battle periods of depression but if i can identify which one of these things i am missing it helps a lot i try to keep it systematic and simple through a checklist if it helps  person today great any questions lemme know  physical health sleep diet exercise meditate appreciate moments open mind manage thoughts helps to clear mind to appreciate moments self loveconfidence strong body language affirmations confidence lists write down nice things people say or nice things about yourself always be unconditionally positive resent no one accept their flaws be grateful  practice daily have fun hobbies have true friends have goals goals  purpose  positive emotion but know when is the right time to work on goals and when is the right time to appreciate lifemoments improve myself be the person i wanna be reflect daily have personal principles to live by,3.0
1095,its early ,2.0
1096,i fucking hate my life i have no luck everything goes wrong one thing after the other i fucking hate my life it is just pointless i really dont like being alive in this mind,3.0
1097,druey he should be number one regardless ,0.0
1098,maggiieeee sounds sad  maybe i figured out this reply thing idk,2.0
1099,nbarumorzone hey you ,0.0
1100,i only have  entries ,2.0
1101,bloggesstribe ,0.0
1102,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
1103,is now watching quotthe parfumequot ,0.0
1104,i dont understand it wasnt him i know it wasnt he wrote a note about me i was never supposed to read the title said i was worse than his ex who cheated on him the rest wasnt nice ether ive never felt heart break like this ever i ended it after i saw the note i stayed up crying all night he reached out the next day to talk i knew in my heart i shouldnt i needed to distance myself but the only thing that could make me feel better is him i wanted him to hold me and tell me were going to be ok even if it wasnt true that night i laid in his bed he was so cold to me he dug his leg into mine forcefully to make an example of me being to far over on his side i snapped back and asked if we could just please have a night where we say nothing mean he ripped the pillow out from under me and throw it across the room somewhere along exchanged words he told me to shut my mouth i just laid there i felt so defeated i wanted to just feel loved and it hit me i wasnt going to feel that anymore from him in the morning he locked the bathroom i started banging on the door out of frustration he walked back into the room and ill never forget the way he looked at him he grabbed the back of head and pulled my hair and yelled at me for waking up his dad i dont understand this is the man i knew inside and out i loved him but that wasnt him i cant accept that was him i cant accept the person i shared beautiful memories with would ever put there hands on me thats the last memory i will ever have of him my first memory of him was when we went to his house we got drunk off champagne and watched call me by your name i hadnt felt that kind of happiness in years we were so in love in that moment he took that memory away from me today all of it is tarnished ill always see him how i saw him today in his note his said i used him for happiness he was partially right i would have taken my life a long time ago if it wasnt for him he made me happy he gave me hope for a better tomorrow its all gone all of it i parked outside his house tonight his lights were off and im sure he was sleeping i just cried and cried and cried thinking of all the memories we shared at that house the happiness i had is gone if someone who loves me so much could do that i dont ever want to love again i want out im done i dont want to feel anything anymore,3.0
1105,misses you ,2.0
1106,jimconnolly so thats where it went off to when it left dc this morning  enjoying a relaxing weekend bf another crazed week,0.0
1107,enter to win a free  oz jar gourmet candle  wwwtheheavenlygourmetcandlescom  ,0.0
1108,i feel like there is no point in trying im bad at everything i do my selfesteem is extremely bad anytime i try something that i do not get immediately my head fills with a lot of panic i have thoughts that i will never succeed in life and that my intelligence is extremely low and i must be borderline retarded this panic makes it so i am unable to focus at all it impairs me i am in college and i feel like everybody is smarter than me i even have breakdowns where i cry i overthink everything maybe my iq is low and maybe i should give up,3.0
1109,plain jane uh no i like diversityi look good bald long weave short wig long wig mohawkhell anything ,0.0
1110,am i just ungrateful is there something wrong with me i have everything i have a loving mother i have an amazing little brother i have lots of great supportive friends i am very talented at drawing i get good grades i have an amazing girlfriend i am spoilt with electronics and art supplies yet i cant be properly happy ive been taking antidepressants but they arent helping i have so much stuff i have so much great things in my life but i just dont want to live am i ungrateful why am i like this if i have everything i just want to be happy i love school but i never want to go in im too tired im too tired to do anything anymore really i dont want to be alive even though i have everything i could ask for it feels like im searching for something that isnt there i dont know if im just ungrateful,3.0
1111,i lost everything ive done some bad things last year that i wish i never donei lost half of my friends my long distance bf i havent seen in  weeks after he got fired from his job he can be suicidal his life wasnt good either and im very worried about i sit alone every day and mornings are the worst of everyday i wish i had helpi cant see a therapist because my parents wont let me until i have a good enough reason to im alone and i have nothing anymore i lost everything,3.0
1112,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
1113,living in constant fear amp anxiety i hate every day i get up each morning just waiting for nighttime so i can go to sleep and have peace away from it all i have a mrs who is constantly monitoring my mood and criticizing the shit out of me if im not in a good one shes also put on me that im the reason my son has anxiety and fear as he learned it from me i live in a constant state of always saying or doing the wrong thing as she will then verbally bash me over the head about it i use drugs to cope just to get by until i can finally go to sleep where i experience my only peaceful period of the day i have an extremely hard time relating to my son hes the exact opposite personality of me hes hyper and craves attention and hates doing anything by himself if i refuse to play with him once again my wife comes down on me when i do play with him im bored to tears i just dont like to play with toys at all every day is  about him and keeping him happy if i try to escape even for a few minutes once again i catch hell for it i would love to know how people can live without caring what others think because i just cant do it i get too much verbal feedback from others if i try not to give a damn holy shit i just want to run away my opinion and feelings mean nothing in my household and im just supposed to be happy i just cant do it and its slowly killing me at least once a day i throw up from nerves even though im medicated prescriptions for anxiety and depression why are some people just hellbent on controlling someone else ive tried to fight back but it is no use she simply does not see my side of things and im always wrong yes i see a shrink but have not been successful in fact ive been to many shrinks over the past few years and they all say the same thing you need to stand up for yourself yeah that sounds good but the other side of that is the other person has to be willing to listen or it gets you nowhere ugh fml i just want out,3.0
1114,redonculous video tape that for me  hahaha,0.0
1115,rt sarahsolfails my dad and i have a tradition of putting me in the costco cart and now that im nearly  we realized its bordering on,0.0
1116,moriker minion works just fine mishacolins had it right contradict him again amp it may be you getting the whitehouse letterhead of doom ,0.0
1117, anychance you can get matthew to give a shout out to my mum sarah for mothers day we saw quotghosts from girlfriends past todayquot ,0.0
1118,having troubles waking up in the morning be like me and chug a huge glass of water before bed youll have no more troubles ,0.0
1119, no man is worth your tears or your heartbreak if he left you then he didnt realize an amazing thing ,0.0
1120,rt girlposts lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
1121,im sad ive almost always been sad i miss being happy i dont know why im posting this theres too much to type to express my  struggle with depression i just feel defeated im alone and i wish i could hug someone and have them tell me its going to be okay,3.0
1122,fearnecotton can you please play sum  in too deep instant happiness  rachel ni xo,0.0
1123,im finally being honest with myself for a while now ive felt like life wasnt really purposeful ive felt like i was placed here to work a boring job and have an otherwise boring mundane daily routine whenever this feeling would come up though i dismissed it as just plain sadness to me depression is not to be taken lightly and i didnt want to draw attention to myself when i know others needed it much more recently i went to see how to train your dragon  place for me to realize it and idk something just changed i used to be able to brush off the feeling but now its stuck in my head im lonely stressed i dont know what i want in life i dont know what the point of life is at all i dont want to waste the rest of it being just another human who just got by i have a extremely hard time explaining my feelings and even as i type this i cant really translate them into words just feel empty and alone ive looked up articles and whatnot but still i cant help but shake this feeling that if i had someone i truly loved by my sideand not just fake love that i see so many couples fall into then this would go away but i dont know the first thing about any of that i think thats why the movie opened my eyes it has the them of love at its core and the desire within me to have what the characters in the movie had is hard to ignore i doubt this gets read by a little of people but at the very least it might help to type it out ,3.0
1124,explosivityy whens your math placement ,0.0
1125,trying so hard every day brings a new obstacle when i wake up it takes so long to actually get up see late december the gentleman that i was taking care of for over  years died he was  yrs old and knew it would eventually happen but it really broke my heart i understand it was my job however i love hard i love people in my life it hit me like a mac truck now i find myself with no job and feeling like im worthless im older  yrs old i should have a great job and retirement ready nope not me i also have  children older youngest   grandchildren separated w my husband of  years and a live in boyfriend of  years hes  years younger no kids anyways iv strayed off and just know im constantly depressed feeling like i need to keep a smile on my face when it feels fake iv struggled w depression for  years on meds and still feel lost just would love to talk to people that feel me,3.0
1126,is visiting a friend in jail ,2.0
1127,does anyone else wanna die but you have this tiny glimmer that will never ever go away i just wanna give up ,3.0
1128,jakehh omg me too i was watching old bb promos today  sucks cause even if bb came back theres pre much no chance that gretel would too,2.0
1129,mileycyrus tried to vote but i couldnt cos im in the uk  fingers crossed you win though y,2.0
1130,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
1131,working on magic ,0.0
1132,my poor sweet girl is sooo sick her fever is getting worse with tylonol i hate to see her sick like this its her first real sickness ,2.0
1133,all i wanted all i wanted was someone to tell me hey you okay man im here for you i wouldve told them everything i wished also if someone told me that everything is going to be fine i guess nothing is going to be fine i wished i had no friends ,3.0
1134,veggiegeek yeah i know but it wont be the same without him heshes hes ian ,2.0
1135,i need motivation hi pals my dissertation deadline is in a little over a month and i really need help getting motivated i had a bit of a relapsebreakdown whatever you wanna call it around october and im only just dragging myself out of the other side of it now because of that ive fallen really really far behind and i just really need some encouragement to try and finish my degree this year its really hard to pretend to care about my future right now ,3.0
1136,kinda pissed that madea goes to jail wasnt as funny as i thought it was gonna be   good story line though,2.0
1137,charmainebingwa lol hey gorgeous  i have got to get out and have a groove with you angel glad your gig went swimmingly the other nite,0.0
1138,thespicyjen thehill well it is a sad one,2.0
1139,eudoramusic wish i was going to pomona warped so i could see you guys ,2.0
1140,fixing to crash out after a long day sad for my friends who r havin it hard  it must be a full moon soon,2.0
1141,jowalshy  have  a glass of wine  ,0.0
1142,missin my american friends already ,2.0
1143,i feel like im always doing something wrong everything i do it feels like its not right even writing this now im thinking does this make sense too many commas i dont even know anymore,3.0
1144,jon bs concert was weak felt like hs last night it was nice seeing everyone tho ,0.0
1145,rt streepsoul i ⚪️ am lesbian⚪️ am straight 🔘 work all night i work all day to pay the bills i have to pay aint it sad and sti,1.0
1146,omg i feel dead today ,2.0
1147, i know but i rlly hate cleaning   i had to do that with the turtle cage,2.0
1148,jennypurr hope they went well ,0.0
1149,ah crap cant bake cakes yet got to hooverdust the house ,2.0
1150,percythepigeon thank you  ,0.0
1151,amineb goooood morning ,0.0
1152,jovanijara pls reply and tell me why tf u r sad,2.0
1153,mindchillis  oh  i like that quote ,0.0
1154,is at homeim gona see the week old twins today ,0.0
1155,irmajackie yeah i miss tha old wwf that was that shitness  have u gone  a wwe show,0.0
1156, it was quiet  it sux because either fri or sat of every week i have to do the overnight,0.0
1157,struggling i have already failed a year of uni and am about to fail two more classes im not sure if thats enough to fail a second year but if it is im permanently kicked out just feeling like an absolute fuckup dont know how or even if its possible to fix my life right now just feeling really hopeless lately ,3.0
1158,up was good i liked it a lot very heart warming makes me glad i know my grandparents ,0.0
1159, cool  how u,0.0
1160,i got an abusive girlfriend read full she always calls me names shes never supportive she wants to shut down all of my interests every time i screw up on something little she hurts me shes making me lonely i want to talk to people but she always convinces me not to i just want to break up with her but i cant she loves me too much her name is depression btw  ,3.0
1161,so the cat is out of the bag joan jett i love rock n roll was a huge success at the idol nightnow there is talk of next year ,0.0
1162,weiseldog both my parents had killed deers with their cars ,2.0
1163,i have lost all interest in everything nothing interests me anymore or holds my attention food is just an inconvenience in general i feel like i have no time and when i do have some time i have no energy i want to sleep and not wake up i dont have anything going for me nothing really ill live a meaningless life where  of the time i wont want to be alive the other  would be those random moments that are so far and few where i actually feel content they never last long im always reminded how im nothing in the grand scheme of things i try to tell people this who ask whats up but they always become unnaturally optimistic which in turn makes me angry or incredibly sad  more days until the weekend though if i wasnt such a little bitch i would have killed myself at  like i plannedexistentialism is fun,3.0
1164,pinkberrygirl yeah my name was said i feel like a star now thanks pink ,0.0
1165,dadgum i think this nations shipping needs have shut down completely still no freight for carriers out there ,2.0
1166,one step at a time theres no need to rush  if only jordin sparks was right  stuck doin history and home ec cw at midnight sucks,2.0
1167,jackalltimelow riandawson naww love you guys  come back to australia soon,0.0
1168,julianahatfield i also like saving bugs we have this thing called the bug buster sucks in the bugs and later you can release em ,0.0
1169,mohakprince thanks for the link but the ill effects of not blogging are getting to me now ,2.0
1170,misskirsty pretty cool case you got yourself there i really wanna do jury service but i aint got long left ,2.0
1171,ooo yesssss they did it they won what r they doing omg omg omg  do it do it nooooooooooo what well they won ,0.0
1172,working   but happy that mccafe has come to potown at last,2.0
1173,hey dad im sad and im not going to wear my oilers gear anymore but check out my cool coat ,2.0
1174,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
1175,alone i have been alone all my life i havent had any freinds for  years and i have never been in a relationship i am sick and tired being alone i would rather just sleep and not wake up then wake up everyday and know that no one will ever love me,3.0
1176,cindypk i really wanted to like defiance more than i did ,2.0
1177,susiecheng we all need that simple reminderthx  ,0.0
1178,jst finished dinner was watching spectacular amp bedtime stories before tht  oh yes i have ink all over my fingers darn printer,0.0
1179,rt jamacurrent this randomized clinical trial compares the effect of escitalopram vs placebo on longterm major adverse cardiovascular e,2.0
1180,blah back to boring old work today ,2.0
1181,djam hope you had a safe flight ,0.0
1182,i just saw what is probably the only legitimately attractive photo of rpatz as edward i miss cedric ,2.0
1183,okay not quitting anymore due to depression anymore going to therapist so ill be on not that much tho,1.0
1184,using recycled materials in a project and environmentally friendly paints in singapore very hard to certify that i get what i ordered ,2.0
1185,join us for a student written play exploring relationships through themes of mental health and sexuality all proce ,1.0
1186,there is  a dead deer in my backyard ,2.0
1187,how can i help my wife in understanding that its not her faultshe isnt making me unhappy how can i explain the emptyness that has been in the background for years im not unhappy im not sad my wife is a pretty possitive person and always upbeat and has never experienced depression i am functional but there has been a void for at least half my life what can i do to help her cope with my depression,3.0
1188,rt gooorooo very sad news from me i am leaving prstarstb in october huge thanks to all the supporters from the past eleven years http,2.0
1189,hell to the yes  buuut im waiting for it to activate right now so it doesnt work ,2.0
1190,rt badthingtoyou leaving fifth harmony was the best thing for camila regarding her mental health im so proud of her ,0.0
1191,raining again  no flood warning still thank goodness but will be keeping an eye on the growing puddles ,2.0
1192, hi friendlong time no talk   how are u,2.0
1193,cmgeekcrissa  cant you try and find a babby sitter at least for a few hours,2.0
1194,i have no appetite and motivation ive lost like  lbs in the past  months because ive just stopped eating i dont have an eating disorder im just so depressed that i dont have an appetite i dont even have motivation to do shit i want to start working out and eating healthy but its hard to do that when i cant even eat or get out of bed if anyone has advice itd be appreciate,3.0
1195,msguccisu were here for you if youd like to give our system a try ,0.0
1196,milanq why no more message to me   i like direct msg,2.0
1197,its a sad day when you are out clubbing and you r still home before the parents lol ,2.0
1198,positivity i feel like this sub can sometimes work like an echo chamber of negative thoughts i just wanna spread some positivity  its ok youre going to be fine it might not seem like it but you can do it you can feel betterthese words may be annoying to you you might be thinking « when  this is just bullshit » and i feel you so much but dont lose hopelove yall ❤️,3.0
1199,rt mentallyawareng  other ongoing problems can include panic disorder depression substance abuse and feeling suicidal ptsdliving,2.0
1200,sooo i spent most of my day sitting at home in front of the computer in my pajamasi love these days ,0.0
1201,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
1202,amandasevasti happy happy hope its a great day ,0.0
1203,metaglyph im doing great thank you for asking  how are you,0.0
1204,internet appears to be back down for iran  my father says they are sitting on roof tops chanting for freedom iranelection,2.0
1205,under sooooo much stress lately ,2.0
1206,questlove i wish i was going ,2.0
1207,help i have anxietyocdporn addiction and depression i hate my life some what have so many problem what should i do to help myself if anyone go through the same thing i go through please help me ,3.0
1208,am i the only one who cant sleep its so hot  i dont think a ice cold glass of milk will help either,2.0
1209,abramsandbettes abramsandbettes you all sure are tweeting early  have a safe trip you both going,0.0
1210,over did the caffeine today and is now crashing hard   ,2.0
1211,rt madisonava sad bitch hrs,2.0
1212,think i need to take rexnebula and his snackaholism here this summer httpwwwchutterscomcandy ,0.0
1213,big salemoonfully fidget spinner bat shape batman antianxiety  hand gyro finger spiral high ,2.0
1214,i want help right now is the loneliest and saddest ive ever beeni was going to go to a counsellor at my school for help but our school got shut down and i feel like shitany advice on what i can do and how to stop feeling like shit,3.0
1215,rushiv good attempt but shaken the num  prob with cam phone is our hand shakes the phone while button press tip use timer ,0.0
1216,my world is ending the virus has got me stuck in my house  i cant seem to find anything that makes me happy my girlfriend has her own issues i cant control i cant see my friends  i know i dont have this as bad as many others but i cant help but feel everything is crumbling  regardless i cant find enjoyment from anything i drunkenly sliced my arms so im going to regret that tomorrow morning  genetically i have a high risk for depression my dads been dealing with hardcore depression for as long as ive known him its fun being put in this world with traits you cant control  everyday is a struggle and sometimes i cant believe ive actually gotten to the point of considering ending everything when i was younger i would have never thought my life would be like this  so it goes i guess  i hope some of you can find peace in this world i wish you all the best,3.0
1217,i just cant ive been diagnosed with depression and a panic disorder years ago ive been taking fluoxetine for  or  years now and my last therapy was in  i shouldve taken my bus to school about  minutes ago instead im sitting at home again im in my last year of school and only have about  more weeks to go but right now these  weeks seem like an impossible task every day is a fight a fight with my thoughts and my tears but thats nothing new for me its been like that for years im always afraid of the next day every morning i wake up with pain in my stomach and anxiety usually i can fight through it for a couple of days than i have a mini breakdown and need a break from everything i missed a lot of school because of this already but somehow i always got back up again this time is different though theres nothing that i want in my life nothing to fight for i want my mother to be happy shes been through a lot because of me i know im disappointing her everyday that i dont go to school but i just fucking cant do it anymore everyday toxic thoughts panic disorder no confidence etc kill me a bit more i dont know what to do with my life i just want to sleep,3.0
1218,tommcfly will you watch green day on uk this year cant wait to see them in brazil billie is trying to learn some portuguese ,0.0
1219,holyschmoke i spose no tait this week though ,2.0
1220,foxnews i am particularly concerned about your mental and physical health mrs clinton go back to the woods obamafisascandal,1.0
1221, congratulations  now go get that doc exam hahahahaha  hell probably tell you no more beer ,2.0
1222,therealjordin wow jordin you have been tweeting a lot lately lol my phone keeps going off haha hope your voice gets better btw ,0.0
1223,endoplasmic saw the new google street view last night while adding links to our vaca pix was wondering when it came  very nice indeed ,0.0
1224,haunshaul the iss may be over the weather ,0.0
1225,quotdude i bruised my dick this morningquot  adam quotwtf hahahaquot  me ,0.0
1226,ang gago lang,2.0
1227,randomfurlong it must be bad  more hugs x,2.0
1228,shnylia i knww the poor baby ,2.0
1229,sippin cali pinot enjoyin the west coast breeze ,0.0
1230,okmai  that sucks sorry love,2.0
1231,  zsa zsa has to get spayed     ,2.0
1232,rt toejaku alexa this is so sad play sadness and sorrow ,2.0
1233,kids planned a sleepover at my house without my knowledge stuck at home working ,2.0
1234,it feels like im too young to have real problems but i need urgent help i always tell myself that my problems arent valid because of how young i am so when im asked how im faring ill say something like oh im a little more down than normal but im sure itll blow over it always feels like ill just come across as a sensitive pushover if i ever tell anyone whats really going on i need to stop lying to myself and ignoring whats obvious its been years and its only gotten worse i need help and soon the only person i trust enough to tell anything to is my mom and shes been no help when confronted with my problems she said that we have plenty of time to find something that works and says we can wait half a year or so to figure it out probably expecting that the problem will go away she dosent understand why i broke down when she said that she dosent take me seriously ill probably be dead by then so i cant afford to wait depression has hit hard these past few years and im honestly surprised i havent done the deed yetin conclusion i need help and urgently there is a counseler at my school but we only have one between all  students or so as such that might not be the best course of action however hes also a mental health expert since my school has a bad history with depression and suicide i could tell a doctor like the one our family goes to for regular visits or something but itll be at least another half a year before that happens im not sure what else to do please help,3.0
1235,white hot chocolate yum ,0.0
1236,madierox aw dont feel as though you have to do that just for the report dear  x,0.0
1237,off to joes crab shack for lunch today  lots of yummy shrimp lobster crab sausage and corn cobs    messy too   ,0.0
1238,im at the end of my rope and dont see how this could get better im a  year old male im always always worried about something it could be big or it could be small but no matter what im always worried when i say worried im not talking about your everyday anxiety im talking about constant panic attacks im  and ive had people guess im  the only time i have relief is in my sleep everytime things seem to be looking up something always manages to go wrong my anxiety has turned into rage over the years and im getting closer and closer to snapping everyday i clean brathrooms for a living and someone could so much as ask me if they could use the bathroom as im trying to clean it and i want to rip their heads off there fucking shoulders im almost afraid i might hurt someone soon as i feel i have nothing to live for anymore ive felt how i do for the past  years and its not getting any better im a vile person ive been told by countless people that im a vile person if you knew what ive done youd think i was a vile person theres no turning back from the things ive done thats why i have nothing to lose and i feel its time to inflict my pain upon others the thought of disappointing my parents and them seeing me for the monster i am comforts me i really dont see me living this life much longer,3.0
1239,awesome my orchids are starting to bud thats worn tea for you ,0.0
1240,i dont know what to do now i just got diagnosed with depression and i have a wife and  kids who i think i should tellits the realization that hurts so bad and stings to see what i truly am i want to tell my wife but i dont have the courage i know she will understand because she is a compassionate personmy parents i want to tell to but its so difficult to tell myself reallyi dont know what i thought being diagnosed would do for me it changes nothing just another labelwhat did any of you do or how did you tell someonei really am struggling to figure out how to,3.0
1241,sarahgenson because i have the loudest neighbors ever ,2.0
1242,brittanyphantom my phone is out of minutes ,2.0
1243,oh happy day  rain and lots of lesson cover  then exam invigilation later  chance for some quiet ,0.0
1244,my eye hurts and its all megans fault lol i shouldnt hit on dotti lmao they all belived mem ,0.0
1245,im soooo bummed i cant come  this trip amp and my pms are making me into a monster already amp i havent even seen my family,2.0
1246,i am delighted to pledge support for people with mental health problems in line with minds manifesto ,0.0
1247,beaniebanks peeks out of window its thinking about it judging by the look of the sky ,2.0
1248,kmso sad i love seungkwan so muchg,1.0
1249,rt mikewhalen  thats sad man he has potential to be one of our best relievers for a while,0.0
1250,heygood morning i have just woke up lol ,0.0
1251,i think ive lost my drawing mojo ,2.0
1252,good morning everybody ,0.0
1253,craftygirljen i shall consider it ,0.0
1254,any suggestions help would be nice     so i guess ill just get with the start depression runs through my family my mother has it  of my auntsuncles have it mother is the youngest of  and im turning  this may  weekend ive been suffering from suicidal depression for almost  years it started back in elementary school i got bullied a lot because i was adhd and boarder line aspergers i remember it starting to develop when i was  everything felt empty and numb but i always put on a smile so that no one ever found out i was depressed i had attempted to run away over  times in the matter of a year and a half the only thing that kept me was when i had told my sister to tell my mom or when i would she started to cry and i dont mean that fake cry i mean the whole whyd you kill my child crying ive been having suicidal thoughts ever since i was  and around christmas of  i finally told my parents what ive been feeling these past  years for the first year they couldntwouldnt accept it and always made comments or what ever thinking i was faking it for attention till they started looking for the signs and they than realized i was telling the truth its always getting worse and for just over a year now ive been on anti depressants and they help they stop the break downs from once to twice a week to once a month if im unlucky i usually have them every  months and i still have the suicidal thoughts i know theyll never go away they come up randomly and have been since i was  i just want ideas to help the meds put my emotions into a balance and with my aspergers i just dont give a shit so i always have a blank face and only strong emotions break through     i just want some tips so that i can work on it as im going off to college this september and im also going to be working a full time job and a part time job when im not working the other job because the school is over  away i just want to have it that im not breaking down in class or having to miss them,3.0
1255,ho humno one ever checks messages ,2.0
1256,couldnt find the part am searchin for  most wait till saturday  going to the garage to check up the car after the paint ,2.0
1257,simbasmama lol yup we still fight  but now its just funny,0.0
1258, you and that red dress you were wearing what a pairing tried to concentrate but couldnt stop staring ,0.0
1259,thank god it was a simulated test  just got my con law test results  fail           but they were nice to tell me it was a good start,2.0
1260,his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health ,2.0
1261,aalsamm dudeee yu got twitter  im happy happy happy and proud haha yu wanna c your friend taylor lautner youre joke ly x,0.0
1262, followers thankyou to everyone who is following me  lets try and make it  before ,0.0
1263,help understanding wifes depression i believe that my wife is dealing with some fairly serious bouts of depression in general she is exhausted most of the time and just wants to sleep when she is not at work she does a poor job keeping herself in shape and sometimes does not shower for three or four daysshe wont accept help from me to try and take some of the burden of the kids and it seems like she lets them consume all her time when she is not at work in addition she is an introvert that works in a high paced noisy environment multiple days a week and normally comes home and wants to isolate herself from any noise  these things have done serious damage to our relationship and we have separated from one another to work on it but we still live in the same house i should mention that she is in counseling we are in marriage counseling and she is on a medication for depression i guess im just asking for some different viewpoints here because im lost on how to deal with her my mother had extreme depression and borderline personality disorder and i just dont want to live with this like how my father did at the same time i love her and we have been married for years i dont want to just give up on her but im at a loss i just dont understand these things,3.0
1264,dsugarmoore like i can go anywhere for a weekend without quottaking offquot ,2.0
1265,last minute dress shopping tried on the cutest badgley mischka dress but it was too big and they didnt have my size ,2.0
1266,watching and texting dad wants me to help him wash the truckugh interesting night last night ,0.0
1267,lisaseaurchin yay congrats ,0.0
1268,kylieireland thank you for the opportunity to explain the boxcar test on the friday night  roast me any timeim ready ,0.0
1269,ryohakkai i am always afraid of using their country names when i mention pairings  wuss,2.0
1270,dinahlady i too liked the movie  i want to buy the dvd when it comes out ,0.0
1271,not ready for this physics test ,2.0
1272,watching the sixth sense for the first time heh ,0.0
1273,im so worried ,2.0
1274,already misses debate ,2.0
1275,ugh on my way to school hoping it will be a layed back day of reviewing for finals next week ,0.0
1276,i feel bad for wanting to die i feel like my issues arent as significant as they really seem i feel like shit for complaining feeling suicidal and having depression im only  and i already feel so low i cannot imagine living a full lifespan feeling like shit everyday i know people do it all the time but not everyone can withstand that my depression only gets worse and im barely coping im just numb to a lot of things now sometimes i dont even want help because i dont deserve it i express this to people in my life but i think they underestimate my plights too if they think im full of shit then i most likely am,3.0
1277,is fed up with estate agents being lying bastards or perverts ,2.0
1278,rt carterow when i get sad about overwatch i just watch this video and it calms me down ,1.0
1279, just crashed was on my way up death mountain ,2.0
1280,i has a omg ive been at work for  hours and its  headache ,2.0
1281,one of those days i just feel sad i dont have motivation to do anything at work here im forcing myself to do the bare minimum and i hate myself right now i know i dont and i know its just the chemicals in my head messing with me but they do a good job at it im fucking going crazy is anyone out there,3.0
1282,rmdort hey expect it later this week ,0.0
1283,apparently head trauma isnt a great bed fellow of beat making  maybe ill just work on pads this morning,2.0
1284,tweet back later the kettle is callin  make me a cup of tea n since i am dying of thirst why notdamn queen bday still means no afg  lol,2.0
1285,doesnt know how to write to trending topics on twitter ,2.0
1286,ianracey i have watched movies in that theater i used to stop at the raceway there on my way home to pamplico ,0.0
1287,kylehase those are not mine  sorry to say i dont know any shared calendar for events in english unfortunately,0.0
1288,sigh 😔 have you ever felt like a bystander to your own thoughts like your in a room full of people but nobody wants to hear ur opinion idk if that makes sense i feel like that rn and im bombarded with all these negative thoughts and ridiculous scenarios of things that i know are fucking ridiculous but i cant stop thinking them and emotions and i cant pinpoint why i feel sad one minute and the next i wanna die but i dont,3.0
1289,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
1290,boykillboy sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you earlier ,2.0
1291,laurenlolly oh poor you  put on your lovely sock and have a rest,2.0
1292,reneebarber im good  in midst of making dinner plans with very good friends we dont see enough of ,0.0
1293,how many depression naps can i get away with until my parents start asking questions literally ,2.0
1294, yay   lmao,0.0
1295,tomboytigress leather is ok   one of my favorites has always been gas  fresh from the pump matches just blown out candles just out,0.0
1296,homebasicsca have discontinued sending their mags out i cant bring my desktop pc in my bed or out on the patio ,2.0
1297,serranoalex i like the pic  sure gonna miss you guys and try to sleep tonight lol,0.0
1298,its hard to not feel useless anymore i feel like im the only one to blame for how i feel and if anyone deserves to feel like shit its me im  years old and im currently living with my parents im not going to college this semester i was going to a university last semester but things went downhill quickly as i realized that the school wasnt great for my major and was much more expensive than other schools in addition it had been my first semester in a regular schooling environment for year i had been homeschooled its hard to pin just one reason but by the end of the semester i was depressed and contemplating suicide quite often and had failed two of my classes last december my family decided to move which would require a lot of work to fix up and prepare the house for selling then moving we decided that it would be best to drop out of the college this semester so i could focus on helping with the house and to save money i plan on transferring to a school which costs a third of the price and has a better engineering program but im constantly worried that my bad first semester will ruin any chances i have of being accepted when going over the plan with my parents they asked what my plan was for if i didnt get accepted to the other school and i said i would kill myself they thought i was joking but im noti used to be the most promising one of my siblings but now i feel like a pathetic neet even my little brother who spends all of his time playing fortnite has a more promising future than me it sucks to feel this way because all of my life was centered around academics for as long as i can remember the only worth i ever had was in my academics and now i feel like a waste of space nothing besides school makes me think i deserve to live its all i really even have i dont have meaningful relationships with people who would care if i died my mother and dog might get sad but my father would probably be alright with it and my brothers wouldnt be affected too muchi wish i had more to live for but all i have is school i have no productive hobbies and the few hobbies i do have are ones i do alone and ones that only isolate me from people that isnt to say i havent tried to develop meaningful relationships through hobbies and friendships ive given it all i have but nothing works my father said that i should just lower my expectations for what i want from a friendship but its harder to go lower than just wanting someone to talk to meanother aspect of this all is how i feel my issues arent worth solving ive been dealing with anxiety depression loneliness and a constant struggle to feel welcomed for all of my life but aside from my mental problems my life isnt horrible im not in a struggling family im not fighting cancer im not being abused my problems are nothing compared to others and the only real issue is that my mind is broken thats why ive stopped even considering myself fixable i stopped going to therapy and ive stopped trying to make friends knowing that im the problem makes me feel like the only true solution is to eliminate myself i would stop feeling so broken and others would have to stop being annoyed by mei dont know what else to say i hate myself and everything ive become i have no good memories in my life because im in all of them i cant imagine living to be a functioning member of society when i dont even have fond childhood memories where i wasnt alone and trying to kill myself hell ive been suicidal since elementary school for fucks sake its not an exaggeration ive been in mandated therapy since the  grade and ever since then i havent known what its like to have a friend who isnt paid to sit in a room with meall my life ive done what adults told me to do and now that im an adult and can do what i want im fucking everything up and the only thing i want to do is end it all,3.0
1299,im in a room full of people i know its my birthday i still feel alone im with all my best friends and my girlfriend isnt here i want to die i shouldnt feel this way right now,3.0
1300,lmfaoo i know i got someone in mind but i feel lazy  allstarace,2.0
1301,rt reeecola creating is beautiful but we never get back the advice we need to receive httpstcosthbtcpjku,0.0
1302,officialbb how about some live feed  million is bad im not even hooked ,2.0
1303,teejayhanton hey how did your big work project turn out mission accomplished ,0.0
1304,susieqtpie wow twitter jinx ,0.0
1305,id like to do a fundraiser to help pump money into the mental health programs locally  with the aid of people and businesses,0.0
1306,i kinda wish i could take tuesday off of work to see mstrkrft on the david letterman but im already taking wednesday off ,2.0
1307,life is so precious and can be so good that bloody answer to someone asking why keeping going oni understand what is supposed to be conveyed by it that life can bring joy and be worth it in the end but putting it like this is just plain wrong if you have a shitty life that you hate congrats you just learned that your shitty hated life is totally precious and that others have it pretty good it starts as a peptalk and passes as a trashtalk heck a massive numbers of helpers end up making people even more miserable because they cant choose their words properly i dont even consider malicious the sidebar on rdepression should be read by the entirety of reddit i dont know how many think they are helping when they are just keeping vulnerable people underwater,3.0
1308,advanced introduction to finality  malehear me out  im a little all over the place tldr available belowi feel like my entire life ive been deprived of deep intimate connections with my friends i think it started out as a result of inadvertent emotional absence on my part present but never comfortable exposing what lies beneathas ive grown and matured ive craved more and more a sourceperson to vent to communicate with become emotionally invested in and to feel that investment reciprocated  ive always fantasized about those relationships portrayed in movies that follows a group of friends and their story togetherits a silly example but take the harry potter movies for instance i cant watch those movies in succession any more because i get so  emotionally invested putting myself beside ron harry hermione that when the series ends i am left so empty as if my real friends are really gonei understand that the hallmark of a good story is fundamentally based on the idea of emotional investment but it strikes a particular cord with mei know this is a common trope in modern entertainment almost a meme about the state of emotional turmoil you go through after binging a show but im genuinely left starting at a void all i want to do is hug someone have them hug me back beyond that i want to talk to them about my dreams my fears and here it sort of goes from a general sense of emptiness to a severe longing for a emotional romantic bond i feel like the underlying cause is a lack of romantic maturity in my life the last time i had a relationship that allowed for that kind of communication was in high school im not depressed im quite happy with my life i live with my best friends but these moments full me with a shortterm sense of overwhelming sadness and loneliness they leave me imagining over and over what it would be like to have somebody who i can go to about anything and who would come to me with anything tldr finished rewatching community am genuinely severely distraught as close of show strikes a chord with my lonelinessi need a girlfriendi guess im not looking for any advice other than if somebody could point me to a subreddit that facilitates some kind of emotional release or something thanks,3.0
1309,infinityali im doing thatbut im still bored ,0.0
1310,doombox on the telly or downloaded it ,0.0
1311,tribebuilder we host these monthly so it might confuse people if you use the same hashtag ,0.0
1312,bettyboopfan awww i feel so not so important now ya fallin asleep on my texts ,2.0
1313,dont be sorry its makes me sad  — but im sad too sorry  ,2.0
1314,am i just irresponsible or did someone steal my wallet ,2.0
1315,download was amazing feeling tired and burnt today though ,2.0
1316,rt msjoytotheworld i hate that im a stress crier happy crier and angry crier i cry for everything,2.0
1317,my knee hurts ,2.0
1318, this stuff is awesome drinking it right now ,0.0
1319,maryyex yay babe  i cant wait to see youuuuuu i miss u ,2.0
1320,thursday  i hate thursdayys  feeling  weird tired and missin my hubby,2.0
1321,musicmonday all of mateoonline s songs  spesh oohh in love and underneath the sky  hes amazing,0.0
1322,  roast chicken for dinner tonight made it in my le creuset ,0.0
1323,wwwmusiqtonecom its not goodltlt it takes ages for it t go up ,2.0
1324, i love robbie williams ,0.0
1325,working early today this weather is suckyyyy booooo ,2.0
1326,edkrassen studentsfordemo ha playing a race card for completely separate issues has nothing to do with race as ,1.0
1327,jaycherno tell me about it except for half  try half  ,2.0
1328,argh the north west have a bnp seat too wah ,2.0
1329,laurzzzz yeahh atleast you dont have combined gifts for xmas amp bdayy ,0.0
1330,is nearly coming back to the uk ,2.0
1331,rt taylorndean imagine how easy life is for people who have such normal mental health that they genuinely think the cures for depression,0.0
1332,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
1333,im learning so much schools for losers ,0.0
1334,plurkloves all sleepingwhy must have different timing one ,2.0
1335,do you ever feel like youre in a snowglobe hello all i hope this is an appropriate post i just want to vocalize what im thinking will delete if necessary of course anyway i had a lovely dinner with my school cohort tonight every term we see a play but our professor took us to a dear little french cafe near our school this time its one of the last times i will be with this group of people with whom ive taken classes with almost every day of my past three school years individually i think they are all genuinely smart and kind people im not really friends with any of them as ive never figured out how to connect with people and it makes me sad that after this year i will fade from their lives i was joking at dinner but it felt like watching them while im already dead idk this is a melodramatic way of saying i feel like my life is over and my peers will go on seemlessly without me i hope the best for them ,3.0
1336,im tired of being seen as just a cute piece of ass ,2.0
1337,flooberz yes i know these problems well ,2.0
1338,nothing in the mail yet ,2.0
1339,time for bed maybe alyssapromise might be dying  and i realized that her and i have very active imaginations i love it ,0.0
1340, i hate being torn between something that may need to be done and something i really dont want to do,2.0
1341,just finished looking out the window nyc is very dark haha cant wait till summer yay ,0.0
1342,missyau lol your hair is long now ,0.0
1343,r found a dead squirrel in the backyard first thing this morning not a mark on it wondering if a plague has hit the squirrel army ,2.0
1344,rt idkrainn life is too short to stress yourself with people who dont even deserve to be an issue in your life ,1.0
1345,amberbenson  figs yummy ,0.0
1346,laaryel why are you crying im gonna cry too ,2.0
1347, glad i could read your mind  i am a pisces said to be the most psychic in the zodiac hope you have a fantastic friday,0.0
1348,i need help i am a  yr old male living under a mother who verbally and physically abuses me i was diagnosed with depression earlier this year and take lexapro for it nothing insane that leaves scars or bruises but she is constantly calling me retarded slow weak and pushes me around when i try to call people my father or the police she says she will pull me from my school and that my life will be over she also threatens to kick me out of the house for context i cannot go live with my father i am stuck with her and i dont know what to do i have contemplated suicide multiple times and when i told her she told me to do it she has refused to give me dinner and i dont know what to do she has cut off my credit card and locked me in my room it is because i asked her why she stole money from my fathers child support which she uses for herself and not me or my little brother and did not put it into a trust for us please if youre out there help me,3.0
1349,yes im aloud to get their album ,0.0
1350,dont know what to do the past couple of months have been hard i am starting to feel more and more depressed i have stopped brushing my teeth or showering i have lost interest in playing the cello which has been my favorite hobby and is something that i enjoy doing i have been getting less and less sleep and have started chewing candle wax to ease my stress i have been thinking a lot about suicide lately and i can hardly spend quality time with any of my friends hopefully it will get better but i am unsure i apologize  if i didnt write this very well,3.0
1351,im in love with zac efron  good night fellow twitterers ,0.0
1352,wow the tweets were out of control wild i slept i hope all my girls are now fast asleep ,0.0
1353,i just grew another chin ,2.0
1354,just did some hardcore reminiscencing  kinda miss hs but then again i hated it so dang much oh well,2.0
1355,everything will be alright everything will pass i your army still be here i belong to you dont be sad becau httpstcornsjonoqns,0.0
1356,natashadye hey if you like therealtiffany can you please check out and possibly follow my twitter  also check out my fansite godbless,0.0
1357,fionamassie exactly same as me bad bad bad abc starts tomorrow got friends coming round today for dinner ,2.0
1358,and ohh did i mention to yall that i now have a mahusive crack on my iphone fml  kmn,2.0
1359,peas in the pod are back  i love them but they are so expensive  £ a bag  yes thats right one pound amp fifty pence for  peas ,0.0
1360,i found this interesting and inspirational hope it helps someone else dont give up ,3.0
1361,everyone should follow    they are the nicest guys i have seriously ever met do it up ,0.0
1362, days til im with chlo� ,0.0
1363,i like my architecture like i like my loves older than i am of questionable stability and leaving me constantly ,0.0
1364,dear marijuana its been  hrs amp i miss you terribly plz dont make me wait til i get back to ca to see you love always your talpal ,0.0
1365,crap should i refridgerate all my films  unklehefe when i leave for my trip i cant do that,2.0
1366,remember when twitter was mostly dick jokes parisagreement is this what depression feels like,1.0
1367,jolope much ,0.0
1368,finally got all the books updated amp bills taken care both company amp personal now chilling with a glass of wine ,0.0
1369,im not here today   ,0.0
1370,no puede es que va en contra de su ser pobrecito mi niño,0.0
1371,looks like ill be in china next month then ,2.0
1372,chinese food almost always end up messing my digestive system i had to have it today because everyone else wanted it ,2.0
1373,how to hide scars hello i have on my left arm scars that you can see good and i dont know how to hide them yes i could wear a hoodie every time put in summer it would get to hot for me is there something like a hoodie but for one arm you know what i mean i dont want to use make up thx for reading this,3.0
1374,yard work ,2.0
1375,butifulloser cliffhangers drive me batty ,2.0
1376,goodnightor goodmorning rather either way im going to sleep how about just goodbye ,0.0
1377,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
1378,dougiemcfly i really really  love mcfly and it would mean the world to me if you give me a shoutout  pleaseplease,0.0
1379,actually cannot believe my luckanother day alone but lara is here and that makes me happy ,0.0
1380,and the present on roblox is opening today ,2.0
1381,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
1382,rt jazzajohn even after pulse florida is  state in terms of spending to tackle mental health shocking ffpulse httpstcouzhgob,1.0
1383, more days until my birthday ,0.0
1384,i have a blister on my big toe for wearing sandals and walking to fast in the heat ,2.0
1385,alexalltimelow jackalltimelow riandawson zackalltimelow your new album will suck nothing personal ,0.0
1386,sometimes i block people ou because im thinking of something more important to me writing depression sad fml crush anxiety life,2.0
1387,timetruthhearts hahah yes thank goodness for money next paycheck  disneyland year pass im so stoked ,0.0
1388,learning again  first day of the test week went pretty okay i think  tomorrow german history amp biology  this is going to be the,2.0
1389,i think i have an ulcer thingy in my mouth  bring on the bonjela ,2.0
1390,carls jr is full  at kim gary instead so many ppl here lucky got place to sit hehe,2.0
1391,ladyneuro make a jenesis magazine app ,0.0
1392,doesnt want  get outta bed but needs  get ready  go work ,2.0
1393,keeps missing runs house   o well off to the club  thanks for the photo comments on facebookcompeazybaby amp myspacecompeazybaby,2.0
1394,whoais it me or are people fucking getting dumber by the minute ,2.0
1395,after years of trying hard i am back i dont know what to say other then my depression is back and i  no longer see anything good any more  i am now starting to value death more then life will this bullshit ever end  ,3.0
1396,urgh im gonna spend most of tomorrow on buses ,2.0
1397,jadzi and really tagging bts twt is just sad,1.0
1398,im calmly considering suicide first of all some context im a  year old male physics student born in ukraine but i moved to uk about  years ago to get a decent higher education it should also be mentioned that my family is rather rich thats why i was able to move in the first placeive been moving through the educational system without much struggle my grades are usually in the  to  range i have a girlfriend and a crush a sincere smoking and coke habits and thats how ive been living my life for the past  years im a rather average millennial but after i started reading  nietzsche sartre and some other edgy nihilistic philosophers i realized that nothing i am doing will do or have done matters no matter how successful i am at my future job and how much monies ill be able to hoard there isnt anything i would want to spend it on ive been around the world experienced all sorts of human interactions read books studied things i was interested in succeeded failed suffered rejoiced felt pride and shame etc after some thinking ive come to a conclusion that there is nothing i want to do or experience no matter how much money i make or how powerful i become so im met with a binary choice to spend  to  more years just drifting though life hoping for something new and exciting to happen before i die or to end it all as soon as possible ive been mulling over this decision for several months now and i just cant think of anything that is achievable and would give me an incentive to keep on living there is a woman i love but who lives too far away from where i currently am for a relationship to be feasible family who cares about me exams courseworks friends and many other things that would matter if i stopped considering ending my own life as an option but cantthe choice between long life and suicide has the same end result on a long enough timeline everyones survival rate drops to zero and since there isnt anything im profoundly interested in why not finish it all now,3.0
1399,sassycrass thank you girl  i went out drank my ass off amp danced a lot last night i needed to celebrate myself it was awesome,0.0
1400,pooh holes in my fingertips from quilting v painful ,2.0
1401,this very second my bed is the most wonderful and important thing ever omg we have become one  good night i have no idea how im  ,0.0
1402,rt fitwithhips rt if youre vegan and dont have deficiencies ,2.0
1403,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,0.0
1404,fun day today this sun is just amazing thank you god ,0.0
1405,im  and im depressed honestly it fun not giving a hankie danke doodle shiat about anything but at the same time its depressing  and you wanna know whats even more depressing my parents dont know i depressed but reddit knows,3.0
1406,loneliest person in the world i feel like i am the loneliest person in the world,3.0
1407,my anxiety gets very exhausting,2.0
1408,ginwny oh well thank you for that glad you noticed ,0.0
1409,dwighthoward nice  love your outlook ,0.0
1410,aprilelizabethh chelle and tony  when my interents normal again ill make one aswell we need heaps trailers done,0.0
1411,i ned to keep busy as all i can think about now is seeing geoffjones its so close i can hardly believe it ,0.0
1412,poppytalk recycled hello notes are so cute ,0.0
1413,estoy sad por que ahora que haré el intento por cambiarme a la mañana mi novio estudiará en las tardes 😔,2.0
1414,getting ready for church with dad   then eating with grandparents another sad thing,2.0
1415,tuxv hehe yes its important to be regular ,0.0
1416,my life is falling apart and i dont know what to do i use to run track and field when i was younger and it was my life when i got to high school i got on the varsity team and by my sophomore year i was receiving letters from colleges then i started to feel kind of shitty physically like this weird heavy feeling in my side when i ran and pain and weakness in my bones  i went to all kinds of doctors and none could tell me what was wrong eventually i gave up and just accepted that i wasnt going to be able to run in college it was an incredibly frustrating thing to accept but i got over it and moved on with life i found new hobbies enjoyed time with friends and got into a good university down south  i did really well my first year at college and i made new friends i was majoring in accounting and started setting up internships with big accounting firms but once i returned home from my first year of college i started to feel that same shitty feeling again my stomach hurt i hardly ate any food all my joints hurt i had crippling levels of fatigue i just felt all around miserable i still went back to school the next year and just tried to power through i made it through the first semester but at the start of the second semester i dropped out  i just couldnt keep up with all the work when i felt so shitty  i moved back in with my parents and just worked some shitty job and played video games all day after about  months of doing that i transferred my credits to a university nearby to try and give college another shot  im  weeks into the semester now and my fatigue is unbearable my attention span is nonexistent i have  months left to go and i cant even imagine going another day  im on the verge of quitting but if i quit school i wouldnt even know what to do i dont know if i could even get a job feeling like this and my parents and family think im getting better because im back in school im afraid what they would think if they see me fail again and now that ive spent so much time feeling like this im starting to get depressed i have no friends at the new college i dont enjoy doing anything and have no motivation to even get out of bed in the morning i feel like if i quit ill have no future and there will be no jobs that will suit me  i just wish i could go to sleep tonight and never wake up so that i wont have to drag myself around day after day to only feel worse and worse with each passing week  it kills me inside to see my life implode in on itself like this  what do i do i feel so trapped,3.0
1417,hadihaikalamin tapikan showing feelings kan human nature sometimes we got mad sometimes happy sometimes sad ,1.0
1418,im having a difficult time coping with all of these negative events in my life and this uncertainty about my future im sorry i really need to get some stuff off my chestthe previous month has been extremely trying to say the leastit all began in middecember first i started feeling a weird sensation in my right side and slight lightheadedness then a few days later i was involved in a car accident that i and the other driver walked away from but which totaled our vehiclesover the coming weeks it was a mess of going back and forth between insurance companies forcing them to move the claim forward and being confused and frustrated by an assortment of pains and aches that came and went with no apparent patternon january  i made the first of three er trips in a week for what i thought was heart attack or angina symptoms tests found nothing all three times despite me describing numb and weak arms and odd chest pains i was prescribed high blood pressure and anxiety meds and let go in retrospect i could have and should have avoided the second and third visits i have health insurance but its not the best as its from the marketplace not an employerabout a week after the last visit i find a lump and red skin in the same area that had those odd sensations in middecember its an area in which the most common cancer to affect women occurs and my symptoms are common signs of this condition ive also lost my appetite and developed a bit of a fever i have a visit with my pcp in about a week to start getting some answers but it feels like an absolute eternity my work doesnt involve a regular stream of income and the market is starting to slow down after a decade of strong growth i will probably need to find a regular job after years of being out of the normal workforce just to be able to live comfortably if my condition ends up being extremely serious i may not be able to work regularly at any kind of job and my finances will have to be stretched to the limit i have always had depression to some extent but everything thats happened of late has me in a pretty dark place it feels like im on a dark unfamiliar path with few lights to guide me and no end in sight,3.0
1419,hey lori  fancy meeting you here,0.0
1420,ugh cassie ventura strikes again just wasted another hot beat ,2.0
1421,babygirlparis to use your man seeing your man quotnow thats hotquot    who cares about the haters,0.0
1422,i need to get xbox hooked up again i miss it terribly ,2.0
1423,im going to die alone ill be alone forever even in death,3.0
1424, haha prob on american time so this evening  ps i hate the rain ,2.0
1425,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
1426,ok im twitter goodnite as estelledarlings and juneambrose make me jealous that im not at this epic beyonce show occuring on tonite ,2.0
1427,meds i cant get off them ive been on meds for about  yearszoloft prozac and being off them is hard i remember feeling miserable during the times the meds didnt come in time and i just ranted on my friends and i cut many off because i felt like i was draining them everyday but when i was off meds and i had fun it felt amazing almost dreamy those times when you dont take your meds for a while and you actually have fun i want more of that feeling i want to feel that moment when you laugh with your friends and genuinely enjoy the moment but the fear of just breaking down always pushes me back to my meds someday i want to live without them i know many of you out there have taken meds before how did you overcome them ,3.0
1428,mandztoba how was padden toad was awesome however i closely resemble a lobster ,2.0
1429,tracecyrus its a great country  im a little dissapointed you guys arent going to sweden and that the helsinki tickets sold out fast,0.0
1430,dance recital at providence performing art center  whoohoo so xcited   xoxo maeo,0.0
1431,jammin to my matches at the cafe ,0.0
1432,hoping not to wake up when i sleep not having anyone close enough to share this so ill share it here always having suicidal thoughts no matter where and where and if anyone is wondering if why i havent done it yet its not because im afraid of dying or the pain im just afraid of not having a successful attempt and the pain my family will feel especially my parents sometimes while having out if my depression slips out and gets noticed by friends and family i usually hide it from my friends and family by jokingly saying that i have depression and we will usually laugh it off i feel like that i dont even have interest in anything anymore now that favorite to do is sleep the only moment where i dont have to think about anything and not having to face reality i feel that i have what you would call money depression financial depression always having to worry about money problems is slowly making me lose interest in life and living i feel like all my problems would stop if i just end my life i cant afford to get my driving license cant even afford to pay for college tuition feeseven with student loans  cant even afford food sometimes i just want everything to stop,3.0
1433,this lake is so weird it has a concrete bottom  ,2.0
1434,i was not aware we were back at school tomorrow too late to prepare now ,0.0
1435,i have the functional kind of depression it genuinely makes me want to die all i do is work i have no hobbies no social life and theres only one thing keeping me alive and thats my daughter shes  months old as of tomorrow in the process of getting my daughter i lost my ex partner my ex partner felt it wasnt working  weeks after our daughter was born my ex partner literally got what she wanted and left i literally am only here because of my daughter otherwise id not be writing this posti got back from my exs birthday drinks and sat in my car near on half an hour to an hour debating if i wanted to go inside my house or drive at full speed into the nearest concrete bollard of a bridgeeverytime i debate it gets harder to pull myself away from the idea like its sucking me in but im just so god damn tired of life,3.0
1436,megabowo the last team jkwin seems not on twiter yet right ,0.0
1437, susan surandon is the womannn i want to act like her  or sally fields someone incredible ha miracles happen ,0.0
1438,im too depressed to go out and im depressed because i cant meet anyone i used to have friends and be popular and happy but once i started college i just couldnt meet anyone depression started setting in because i couldnt surround myself with people to push it away and now its been  years and i have no one because i cant make myself go out its a vicious cycle im sad because i cant go out an meet people i cant make myself go out and meet people because im sad i dont know what to do i used to just be a serial dater but i got dumped a few months ago and now im totally alone left to wallow in my own self pity i just sit around and exist burning energy ticking off days until eventually i stop being how do people meet people how does anyone interact with other people how do i stop being a sack of self loathing shit i dont know why im posting here i guess i just kind of needed to vent fuck ,3.0
1439,daily routineoff to work ,2.0
1440,emoney idk how imma get there such shrt notice i forgot the game was today  buut imma most likely be out there  morrow w lauren ,2.0
1441,shaunbless im working too on my  for you ,0.0
1442,waaaaahh i wanna go on msn to talk to someone but i cant cuz they dnt have it installed ,2.0
1443,  i need a  fix now,2.0
1444,mrallenakaneo lol well lucky u i wish i could do that w my hubby right now ,2.0
1445,thaysxtoledo fiquei sad a toa,2.0
1446,hello everyone have to go back  school  ,2.0
1447,rabautphotoart thanks for helpin me out ,0.0
1448,a bird just hit my windshield and died poor birdy ,2.0
1449,someone bring me a mattress i dont wanna sleep on the floor ,2.0
1450,cleaning for my moms herbalife party ,2.0
1451,finally went out kind of lame but we made it fun ouch paper time ,2.0
1452,argh colour protect shampoo i just bought is full of sulfates which apparently strip colour may have to shell out on expensive stuff ,2.0
1453,downtheticket awww ,2.0
1454,why would someone get drunk at such an historic event ,2.0
1455,completely hopeless i recently took a job within my large healthcare system workplace that i knew had some issues i knew what the issues were and believed i could fix them or at least work towards getting my job figured out i found out from day one that i was lied to during at least  of my interviews but i was definitely given wrong information in another interview with a doctor for the clinic i work in its entirely possible she wanted to go in a different direction than i am able to take the clinic i do new patient intake that involves speaking to patients then retrieving records pathology slides and radiology disks then giving this information to a nurse to review she decides everything including what doctors to see what tests need to be ordered before the patient is seen and even what time and day im a monkey pushing buttons at this point if she was allowed to actually schedule patients herself then there would actually be no need for me she dictates my entire day and often has me schedule patients before i have everything i need for them to be seen putting me behind the  ball all of the timefrom a clerical standpoint i have had some ideas to help shave time off of my tasks i tried to start using an efax system that we have access to meaning i wouldnt have to get paper request forms off of our one printer for the office that is in one side of the room then walk to the other side of the room to the only fax machine we have to fax the request to the outside hospitals its an oblong room shapes roughly like a long triangle its not like a ton of time  it at this point every little bit helps i have been told that i cannot use anything electronic because they want papers in case someone has to cover me i even offered to put my electronic confirmations in various shared resource folders we have on network drives and even in our fax server and was told i am not allowed to do that either that is just one example of things i have been trying to do to help make this job better regarding the misinformation i was told this would not be a  hour a week job that i would need to put in overtime i have to ask every time i want to work over to keep myself caught up and have been told to limit it i cant even take the time i need to catch up from being behind i keep getting work heaped on me and cant actually get the time to complete it i was also told there was a different order for the steps i need to take when working with patients the health system says we need to contact patients within  hours of receiving their referrals the very first patient i reached out to i was told by the nurse coordinator to never contact patients before she has reviewed them taking that  hour timeline away i told my supervisor about this and what was told to me during the interview and was told it works differently with clinics that have nurse coordinators the very next day i was told to start contacting patients within  hours again even though records may not have been reviewed just to introduce myself and discuss the whole process thats how it should have been the whole time i keep getting these double answers that just seem to have no rhyme nor reason just how someone feels at the time basically like i cant do anything right damned if i do damned if i dont i got called into a managers office today and we discussed all this and i was asked again what i think the problems are that are preventing me from completing everything i told her that im having the same problems everyone before me has had for the past  years and was told she doesnt want to hear about the past only about me so i cant even explain the problems and how ingrained they are in the system i wont be successful at this job as it is and i cant do anything to fix it im trapped i also got sick recently and cant go see my psychiatrist so i cant get my antidepressant refilled everyone in my life is telling me to be careful about my job and doesnt care at all what it is doing to me i feel like no one cares about my health im so trapped and just dont know what to do anymore i dont have a working phone so i cant even try to get a new job because potential employers cant call me god im in such a bad spiral and i just dont see a way out anymore and no one around me wants to see it or at least acknowledge it ive been sitting here all night in the worst mood and my wife is either acting like it doesnt exist or just doesnt care i actually work at the same hospital as my mom and her response to this was to just ask me if i wanted to go grocery shopping with her this weekend  she wasnt trying to make me feel better or something she just values a job over her health shes older and my grandparents grew up during the depression im sick of having to make excuses for people in my life being oblivious to things around them this is a rant i just dont see my way out and need support im afraid im going to lose my job and have no way to get a new one i depend on my job to pay for everything but its actually negatively affecting my mental and physical health i dont have a college degree because i couldnt figure out what i wanted to do and just kept sinking money into classes that didnt go anywhere toward a degree im just so lost and have no way to find myself anymore im too old and have a family so i cant just uproot my life and start over ,3.0
1456,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
1457,im board coz  is following me ,2.0
1458,watching so you think i can dance amp missing my boo i wish he was able to sleep with me tonight anyways hop hell be safe at work ,2.0
1459,visiting with my amazing slds how sad to know i only have a few more days with them ,2.0
1460, died or overheated im hoping for the latter ,2.0
1461, lol i wish wont be going anywhere this year ,2.0
1462,took a nap feeling better now still havent gotten paid yet though  need to pay my  for my tivo bill this month,2.0
1463,love my awesome friends ,0.0
1464,rt  i can feel my anxiety crawling back just by looking at this ,0.0
1465,enjoying the sun the concert went well  and i bought red bull for the first time in norway thats way cool ,0.0
1466, wow u have them trained well ,0.0
1467,is ready to be new again ,0.0
1468,kgroovy sorry i missed your tweet last week i just use a bit of royal icing to quotgluequot the fondant to the sugar cookie ,0.0
1469,taykerryn my mental emotional and physical health depends on it lol,2.0
1470,tupps got the details on that au meetup ill just tell everyone to go there ,0.0
1471,sorry perezhilton but im voting for aplusk for web star ,0.0
1472,theres crickets in the pepsi center   u guys paid to see lakers win wow,0.0
1473,i hate working with this kid so so so so much ,2.0
1474,lonely wish i had someone to talk to,3.0
1475,jrwasu haha i know i wish they had one for quotpower bottomquot  although i should have gotten vers ,2.0
1476,lost alot of his photography rss feeds ,2.0
1477,watching spiderman  with mom and bro why did they kill harry osborn ,2.0
1478, they are ok for gardening ,0.0
1479,i miss my strawberry sweet lover  haha beware of the strawberry sweets they may choke u not a gud look gaspin for air tryin nota laf,2.0
1480,so i gained my ipod back and left my wallet ,2.0
1481,this thread is missinghouston we got a problem by luke combsguinevere by eli young bandamarillo sky by ,2.0
1482,best said not to get my curls put back in  but i know i need the length since its effing cold here extensions it is,2.0
1483,when i was  i had a major depression im looking for people with similar experience to explain furthermore  it happened out of the blue i started having a crippling fear of death and the death of my familyi had crisis mostly at night where i couldnt sleep because of the thoughts and i just kept crying until i passed out tired it lasted a few years and i never really found the reason or a treatment and through this post im looking for people that had a similar event in their childhood to talk about their experience and how they dealt with it thanks guys ,3.0
1484,im not in my dreams anymore i havent had goals or aspirations for a while because ive always felt that i wont be alive long enough to achieve them for years ive found myself incapable of being excited for anything anytime i do get a burst of energy to do something its tainted by that fact that i know it wont last long and im always right anything i achieve in the few days in up is completely negated but the remaining weeks and months im down and struggling to get out of bed more recently though ive noticed that im not the protagonist in my dreams anymore i find it damn near impossible to imagine myself in any future scenario which seems to have leaked into my dreams im either not in my dream at all or im a completely different person different name different appearance different personality does anybody else have any experience of something similar ,3.0
1485,johnpeavoy yep the lovely sylviephoto took them for us at a connectorie night a while back ,0.0
1486,how the fuck do i forget you like srsly i have tried everything but i still remember your name your face your bd and your family and petsi remember everything about you i know you dont remember mei cant do anything to fix it you wont let mei sorry i really sorry fuck what else do you want me to say or do i have no one else to talk to and i writing to you in reddit ive never been so lonely nor sad i want to end it all but i am a coward to do anything i miss you i miss those days im tired,3.0
1487, yeah it does  how are you anyway,2.0
1488,im sad im a  on  old malei got this feeling of worthlessness and uselessness despite what people tell me i feel like i dont matter the other day i straightened my hair and my parents told me that im ugly i didnt show my emotion then but afterwards i was really really hurt i thought my parents are supposed to support me with my depression but i guess they make it worse  lately i have been getting suicidal thoughts and dreams  i hate this feeling and i want to ask for help but im to scared to do sothanks for reaching ,3.0
1489,cateycancer way jealous ,2.0
1490,anxiety hime not right now 😑,0.0
1491,seagrace insomnia is a tough one  and my early mornings are why i conk out early at night,2.0
1492,joolzgirl yes sleep and coffee would be good but my coffee shop around the corner isnt open for some reasonso sad ,2.0
1493,just woke up to a flat tire ,2.0
1494,donniewahlberg i hope i can make it to the auburn show but its not looking good for me ,2.0
1495,amazondotjon   whoaaaaaaaaaaa ryan i can see his smile from here ,0.0
1496,i went running today ,0.0
1497,just woke upp  ,0.0
1498,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
1499,email playing up again   need to sort this out quickly its beginning to get irritating ,2.0
1500,logged on and found my skill has decreased to a  from my bad day yesterday ,2.0
1501,kehndae i was havin yogurt and it messd up my jeans i had  change ,2.0
1502,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
1503,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
1504,rebecca just woke me up  but i guess it is  just so she could tell me shes picking monkey nuts up from nursery,2.0
1505,ive knack my iphone i got melted chocolate into the speaker i now cant hear it when it rings ,2.0
1506,health coaches how to boost productivity accomplish more and stress less   ,1.0
1507,spoonsie dmb concert eh you cant even use hotspot shield anymore as they found a way to block it ,2.0
1508,help i woke up this morning at my usual wait time at like  i did absolutely nothing except for watch youtube videos scroll through reddit and watch netflix i barely ate anything i literally had a yogurt i have no energy i feel so alone i feel like this is never going to end but im so fucking tired of playing the victim card not that i use it as an excuse but i just am tired of being a victim to this terrible depressionits such a horrible feeling when you know theres probably so much more that you can do to help yourself but you just cannot find the energy to do so and you just feel so defeated which makes you feel even worse,3.0
1509,all of his stuff is gone my boyfriend of seven years and i got into a bad fight the other day we fought over something extremely trivial but the fight got out of hand he left the house and didnt come back today when i came back from a work meeting i looked around our home and noticed that all of his things are gone i feel devastated i feel like i cant breathe and i feel like i cant live he was my best friend and everything i dont know what to do and he wont respond to my calls or texts i have absolutely no one in my life i have no friends or family he was my world im not sure i can pull through this,3.0
1510,time to myself finally taking some time to myself about a week i was so worried about others problems to the point where i became their problems and would become depressed knowing that i cant help them and i completely forgot about myself not really realizing that i have my own problems to worry about i was afraid to take time to myself knowing that i could miss something happening and i me wanting to be there for them when it did so i stressed alot got paranoid and would cry every night this is something i need,3.0
1511,no email makes me a sad panda ,2.0
1512,my ult rarepair finally got a new fic and its unrequited bullshit  ooc this is why i have depression,2.0
1513,thelibrain better look through the closet and find something that fits  do you know if there is wifi at the campus pref free,0.0
1514,morning going to windermere today last day on holiday  great time though but feeling fat,2.0
1515,philslion ok d but i will be tired gtgt and thans for the uptade i forgot that ,2.0
1516,constantly joking about death and depression and waiting for people to realize its a cry for help,2.0
1517,i despise mla format its so annoying or maybe i just hate writing essays in general gah stupid school birthday in  days  ,0.0
1518,have to live just  more years moneymoney drives everything and im tired of struggling just two years and i can help my whole family in one fell swoopat least thats what i tell my self every morning just got to make it a little further one more day but its getting harder to keep the goal in sight i dont enjoy anything im losing weight but only because nothing taste good anymore im tired,3.0
1519,larlar hey thats pretty awesome if you follow me and thank you ,0.0
1520,jealousy somewhat driving me to suicide i made a post in advice but i realised how bad its getting and i see no way around itso my girlfriend and i started becoming sexual regarding pictures and stuff and i always worry of her sending them to others  cheating  being disloyal but i tell myself she isnt in my head then the next thought is she might and its driving me crazy she knows i have these feelings but i really hate jealousy its made me take shots of cleaning supplies and cutting my lower neck not deep but enough to make it bleed am i mentally challenged why do i do this why does my brain make me think this way when i know she doesnt do that stuff,3.0
1521,at johnny leons house with mellaughsalot and karinaballerina they think im dumb  ps johnny is cool kinda,2.0
1522,invoiceninja giggles i wanna break into song with everyone at a restaurant sounds amazingly fun ,0.0
1523,my brother committed suicide and i want to but i dont cause ive seen what it does but damn i have talked my friend out suicide after that and i feel so hypocritical cause i want to but i cant cause ive seen what happens to the family and i feel so selfish for that but its how it is i just need someone to talk to,3.0
1524,did a good shop with mother today  finally got my guess wallet ,0.0
1525,i wannnnt a neeeew phooooneee ,2.0
1526,martinamcbride its funny u should say that bc the past  times ive met u ive had a huge pimple on my chin as wellnow scars ,2.0
1527,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
1528,having moodswings ,2.0
1529,skeletonwitch shows never fail to make me incredibly happy ,0.0
1530,im going  miss my friends soo much and my houseand even ct a lil bit  ,2.0
1531,todo el tiempo estoy sad,2.0
1532,oh nevermind i think this thing is unsalvageable ,2.0
1533,day  of a painful break up ,2.0
1534,school  worst thing ever ,2.0
1535,im so whore ,2.0
1536, u will b fine ,0.0
1537,kaelas and rachels grad parties today jackies was fun yesterday  and kinda rediculous but its all good,0.0
1538,listening to the apd scanner audio feed people in anc are violent ,2.0
1539,i want to ask you guys something take it in a positive way so all of you who have depression i want you to ask you a questionwhich is why do you guys have depression at first placesee dont think of me as a douche if you guys try to write your pain and feelings it might help you in some sense and some of the guys including me will help you   thank you i love you all,3.0
1540,is home d but now i have to unpack ,2.0
1541,  today ,2.0
1542,rt  depression is real among  high achievers its worsened by impostor syndrome  a psychological pattern in which an individ,1.0
1543,soo excited for phish to blow my mind and to see all my friends i cant stop thinking about this weekend ,0.0
1544,whoa  lost track of time watched part of one of my favourite movies top gun over lunch time to hit the books again ,2.0
1545,dropping elijah off and on to the plantation ,2.0
1546,i need help bad ive been putting it off and this is the first time ive spoken about it but i feel i have bipolar mainly because i can be really happy but at times like now i just feel like whats the point of me in the world i dont know what to do and want to get help,3.0
1547,f the paradox on paper my life is going relatively well its not perfect but its good so why do i still feel like this,3.0
1548,i had to fight to have my presentation day moved back to the original date rediculous ,2.0
1549,jasonmraz so sad i got to indie today at  moments after your secret show ended ,2.0
1550,just got back from  shopping love shopping  but the blisters on my feet are focking killing me ,2.0
1551,mcbumrash nothing really bit of revision  xxx,2.0
1552,i miss camp ,2.0
1553,about to leave france and say bye bye to my parents     groucho marx once said time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana,2.0
1554,i feel like everything is getting worse at my internship im very shy and dont talk alot ive been there since september but still in groups during lunch i only listen and dont speak ofcoarse i have conversations with other people there but never so much that im satisfied also i feel like im not accepted there i know this is all my fault but it feels so hard to snap out of my shynessim messing up school because i didnt pay enough attention and messed up my internship assignment wich could result into having to redo my entire yeari dont work out anymore and feel so damn lazy all the timeall of these things are starting to get more into my life it started out great but i feel like im losing confidence in myselfsorry for this ramble and stupid problems but i feel so bad about it im still pretty young  years old and know i can change alot i just dont know where to start i need to start loving myself more but i just cant get the motivation to do it,3.0
1555,crazycade your veryyyy welcome  you deserve it ,0.0
1556,playitlikebecks the party was fine ,0.0
1557, yes  booooooo hahhah,2.0
1558,stubbonomics thanks for the encouragement yeah not sending much but still laughing lots  and hell im in france,0.0
1559,trindaface youre always jealous ,0.0
1560,bennehton  i really like that pic ,0.0
1561,huumim going to watch another episode of ouse thn ill think in wht do ,0.0
1562,i want a music box that plays this song  ♫ ,2.0
1563,i hate myself i despise myself my friends are dropping like flies ive isolates myself for a few days now and no one is reaching out i dont matter i dont matter i dont matter,3.0
1564,oooooow i think i may have broke my ribs  so sore i really hate the staff at the carling their a bunch of bastardos xx,2.0
1565,the beatles rockband    ,0.0
1566,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
1567,dear stress lets break up ,2.0
1568,bed time ,0.0
1569,reimasae my crops dropped dead when i forgot to log in for one day ,2.0
1570,good morning all  still no sunshine on illtown  but having a date day with my sweetheart so its all good,2.0
1571,ironstache randy normally totally with you but we prolly need to stop lobbing bombs into wherever the fuck we ,2.0
1572,shelleyjames and if you play on after the siren thats the end of the game im not sure just a thought ,0.0
1573,i lost my headphones and i cant bring myself to work i havent seen them for two weeks i only remember having them in the housei need them to work or i have no further motivation and cant focus at allso many people will tell me to enjoy the silence and quiet but i cant fucking stand quiet i hate quiet im not left with any thoughts but meditation and sitting still for too long makes me so uncomfortable and unhappymusic is the only thing that makes me feel anything at alland im sitting in bed holding back tears because i dont feel comfortable letting my roommate hear my music since he suggested i just play it through the speakers but its driving me nuts  he offered me his dollar store headphones that sound like an old radio and they hurt my ears and i cant deal with itmy cat scratched me today my laptop is slow and i feel like everything is going wrong and i want to just break something,3.0
1574,sitting seb and waiting for hours bad customer service ,2.0
1575,kellypea   thanks kelly,0.0
1576,good night world think positive go lakers  ,0.0
1577,philsherry lol well i may as well get something from them if they band together and all chip in it wont even cost them too much each ,0.0
1578,laurendaymakeup what adorable sisters ,0.0
1579, have fun on tour ,2.0
1580,we made it  clevland last night we are now on the road for the last part of the trip we should b home around  today ,0.0
1581,seeking help im seeking help for my depression guys im about to talk to a psychiatrist about my childhood trauma and i feel i have to do this now before i end up insida a coffin   even if i dont believe that they can help me im still need to talk about my childhood experience ive  been carrying for  years,3.0
1582,home with a sick girl today  temp of     husband working  ,2.0
1583,cimmermanis oi you  speak later,0.0
1584,okay i need some pills cause this dam game might give me a anxiety attack 😩😩😩,2.0
1585,is this feeling normal do you experience it ever since i was really little  ive had a tendency to get really into a movie or an internet personality that sounds so dumb and feel really sad that my life isnt their life or that i dont live in that world i remember watching movies as a kid and feeling completely sick to my stomach after the credits rolled because i didnt live in that universe and i had to go back to my world now as a grown adult ill start to watch some vlogger on youtube just for some entertainment on my lunch break and suddenly im in too deep and feel super sad that im not in that world i know its really dumb and that what vloggers present isnt reality and i know movies arent real do you experience the same thing,3.0
1586,summmer just woke up  raining out   i wanna go for a walk,2.0
1587,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
1588,hosamkamel thanks for the follow man ,0.0
1589, going to vegas the following week ,2.0
1590,sneaker pimps next year maybe ,2.0
1591,so stressed  i hope ill get a subject that i can actually talk aboutor the examiner is going to eat me alive ,2.0
1592,ugh gotta find a new summer class to graduate current one my be canceled ,2.0
1593,does anyone else get really depressed if you talk to someone for too long if i talk to anyone for more than  minutes except one friend and if i talk to too many people in a day i get really depressed and feel awful about myself i feel vulnerable as if i opened up and its a horrible feeling that doesnt go away its so scary it makes me never wanna see that person again,3.0
1594,is it legal to wear a maskhelmet with full head coverage in public no im not joking i have severe social anxiety and have had it since middle school ive been homeschooled because i hated how the teachers treated me and they wouldve made me worse than i am now i get stressed and anxious whenever im in a large group of people especially when its a loud and cluttered environment visually and audibly i feel like everybody is watching me and im never able to walk in public sit down or do anything without feeling like someones out for me i have hyper sensitivity and even people slightly in my peripheral vision scare or annoy me i feel like theyre thinking weirdly of me and whatever i do looks abnormal to themtoday was the worst ive felt it in a month i felt super stressed when i was taking a math test and everyone was coughing and snorting and sniffing and i couldnt think at all i tried ignoring it i tried calling myself down every way i could but they overwhelmed me and i started heating up and shaking and my mind was cluttered i was extremely angry and sad and i wanted to violently mangle the person in front of me or yell or slam my table into the wall i procrastinated more than i expected and likely will fail it it only takes  of my credit luckilyi speed walked through the campus to my car and while it did blow some steam im still extremely anxious and i dont know what to do right when im about to drive home and drive out of my parking space i park back into another one to check the school website i heard of a christian club from my dad and i checked it on the site and it said it was in the sunroom in the hub it was extremely vague it didnt give any information about the club it didnt say whether i could walk in or not and all of these questions could be answered if i emailed the club owner or something i havent had friends in a while so i decide to goi slept until  and went to the club which starts at  i had trouble finding the room and freaked out but after i found a map which gave its location and i realised it was right in the cafeteria so i walk to the sunroom in the cafeteria but before i enter i see the entire cafeteria is cluttered and loud the people in the sunroom are setting up chairs in a circle and have pizza people start staring and as im walking towards it i immediately shift towards the door left of it then go back to my car and drive homei dont have anything to counter this i dont think skills or anything is going to help right now and i dont want to expose my fave anymore in fact i want an entire suit of armor to weigh me down so it purges the stress i want to tint my windows on my car but i have no money i have a clone trooper helmet i want to wear it whenever i go in public and honestly as much as i can im always incredibly stressed when people look at least and having something to press down my face feels better and i feel covered is it legal to wear it in public and in a classroom or in the store ill draw more attention but ill think less of it because they cant see my face and they cant think of what im thinking about or my facial expression or anything the only thing theyll judge is me wearing a helmet which sounds way better im going to talk far less too,3.0
1595,quotstand backquot linus loves ft sam obernik dance edit i love internet radio on musicmonday ,0.0
1596,im going home to see the family this weekend ,0.0
1597,how can they trademark the word aloha its part of the hawaiian language culture heritage thats sad ,2.0
1598,just ruined codys night ,2.0
1599,eating at river city  even though katie calls it river side,0.0
1600, they filed for one today ,2.0
1601,on my way to fort knox ky already missing my husband going to be phoneless soon i think ,2.0
1602,rains heavilyi wanna go out   upset   theres no nba life,2.0
1603,im in my sisters room now i want to go out the back with my grandperents but flys keep on attacking me ,2.0
1604,daveyarcha ive seen both  lolzz,0.0
1605,got to work early this morning eating porridge and drinking tea i had a bad case of the snores lastnight  ruined somebodys evening ,2.0
1606,twitter finally joined  follow me ill follow u d,0.0
1607,maxwell fell and broke today  this is a sad day i need to get another one tomorrow or monday sighs i am depressed,2.0
1608,is starting her summer of school ,2.0
1609,lifesbeautyhaha hes alrightshes about to give him a bath then they are leaving me ,2.0
1610,life at  does anyone else have trouble seeing themselves having a future doing anything is hard i have a job and friends but it all seems so artificial i feel like im being fake happy all the time i feel like its be easier to not be here im not actively suicidal but i wouldnt really care if i did die am i crazy should i see someone should i tell my significant other i dont know what to do,3.0
1611,well im not ugh  i saw you last night erik right before sexy time,2.0
1612,i am heartbroken ,2.0
1613,there is so much wrong with the tweetdeck ui i cant get used to it ,2.0
1614,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,1.0
1615,sitting in the clc with amy knackered and hungry   bad times,2.0
1616, eh i dont know whats wrong it just hurts bad ,2.0
1617,people will always blame the ones trying to help the person or accuse them of enabling because they dont want to b httpstcoimuljvyrpg,1.0
1618,i really dont know what to do anymore i already posted here and people responded but i was too scared to repply even tho they were so nice and gave me advice i ignored it but my problem didnt go away im worry i might me depressed i cant do anything anymore i feel like im forcing myself to not think and if i do i just cry or have panic attacks im  but i cant talk to my parents because im really bad at communication and because im scared that if they help me i wont get better anyway and that it will just hurt them ,3.0
1619,hate my laptop hours to go through email its so slow i hardlly ever turn on tweetdeck itunes or visit blogs anymore bc of it ,2.0
1620,so my friends and i probably should laugh if things like if i jump in front of a bus tonight its because the chick ive done three shots with just started making out with the bartender  but we do i should probably seek help but ill just get drunk again tomorrow night my insurance doesnt cover mental health issues so,3.0
1621,ellinoralseth uuuh stilig ,0.0
1622,womenontop ok sweety pie  have goodnight love you ,0.0
1623,my joy was short lived to about  ,2.0
1624, haha yep i love the fact that he doesnt run out and kiss the first girl he sees   yay for boys who wait for that,0.0
1625,im totally cheesed offthe weather blows and its totally cramping my style ,2.0
1626,nilsnilsnils i wish i was in lv too ,2.0
1627,my beloved doggie is gone ,2.0
1628,noligin waake me up when september ends ,0.0
1629,i have to see kings of leon when they come to sweden juolumusti biljetterna till danmark kostar  sek h�lften av hultan ,0.0
1630,sick  life is unfair listening  the lily allen sharer of my surname,2.0
1631,shut up you guys i love you guys but your confusing me ,2.0
1632,just realized that i worked all day today to buy the groceries tonight  ,2.0
1633,jordanleanne chillllleeeee thats if my anxietys bold most days i have to dip to the back and tell allen or wh ,0.0
1634,i screwed my zenwalk install yet again  moral lesson never interfere a glibc upgrade,2.0
1635,rt oddfuckingtaco me and my anxiety hanging out httpstcocudfqlyeah,2.0
1636,had to get this off my chest and had no where else to do it i suffer from aspergers i was not diagnosed until i was in my mid  i grew up being expected and taught to act and behave normal i know this was my parents doing their best with the information they had the result is ive learned to blend in not be noticed as out of the ordinary  this has benefited me in many ways i dont appear to those around me even some of those closest to me to be suffering from anything my natural state is to blend in regardless of how im feeling  the results of this is also however that i have no idea how to properly express or understand how i am feeling some i hope at least saying this will helpi am not currently considering killing myself however i do strongly believe that this will be how i go out one day  i know in my mind that those around me love and care about me however something about me prevents me from feeling it  i know that sounds cheesy but i have no better way of saying it  each day i wake up feeling alone and go to bed still feeling that way right now the only reason i keep going is that i know how much harm and damage i would do to those who love me if i did kill myself so i continue to go on for their sake  each day is a challenge but i push on   i hope this will all change one day i keep looking for a way to change it  i have tried talking to my family but despite their love effort and support which i can see but not feel they are not the most successful at helping with this type of thing in their effort to help they often make things worse like causing a tsunami to put out a small fire im not sure what if anything im looking for with this but i hope putting this out their helps somehow,3.0
1637,digihal yes i downloaded the latest version the day before yesterday ,0.0
1638,quoti only have a  now  pause oh and a wii haha i forgot about thatquot myself forgetting about my ownership of a wii,2.0
1639,johnmaine yous have to teach me how to play first but im down ,0.0
1640,now starts the killah friday five hour skruuuratch session ,0.0
1641,sarking shes lovely  also  cats im superjealousmy landlords dont allow them i would move but my rents supercheap ,2.0
1642,cleanin my room  goin  the beach after,2.0
1643,lemon amp olive oil seared tuna  baklava and cappucino for dessert  some drinks  yes starting this evening just right ,0.0
1644, oh awesome then glad to hear it ,0.0
1645,blythesarita  gah sadly you dont swing that way grace park  you have no idea whew but yeah who doesnt want tahmoh ,0.0
1646,brittdeezy   i know i just assumed theyre doin they thang and u mighta heard of them ya know ,0.0
1647, aw thats a really nice dress  i think u shud deffo get it its lovely ,0.0
1648,calling it a night good game pens ,0.0
1649,the truth that i see our world is ran by a small percentage of people that we quickly elect into office to help run our planet the main problem i see with this is that we elect sheep that have no business running our world we constantly are at war with one another a shooting or bomb or catastrophe happens nearly everywhere in every week of the year we scream and cry about racism and scream and cry about bigotry and hatred and we all wish to live in a bubble away from harm and away from these things said aboveno one cares and why should they the world we live in has always been the same and it will continue to be the same as it has for the past  years a single minded multi ruled planet that we as humans destroy on a daily basis our climate is being ruined major storms and odd cold fronts in april are proof to this we can even see  years into the future without predicting a global climate meltdown of cataclysmic proportionsthe reason why we dont care is pretty simple we live in a world where the only thing that matters to us is instant self gratification where the thought of our childrens children only comes to mind once we are on our death beds as we gradually grow closer and closer to our expiration we have the idea of where do i find immortality and how much money can i get to live the rest of my life lavishly the only immortality we can find on this planet is the immortality of legacy and bloodline and fankly thats all that should matterwe constantly cry about what other have and what others dont we focus on false written lies that are always on the news or television or by whatever you read we are more worried about what goes on in hollywood than to worry about ourselves we worry so much about a food crisis in africa than we are worried about feeding our own starving kids behind our lines homelessness is on the rise arrests consist on  reincarceration things arent going to get better moral have almost found its way down the proverbial pipe and we cant stop and think to worry about ourselveswe cry about a president that we did or didnt elect so why keep the cycle going why put so much trust and faith in a broken system that has failed us in between the black and white we wage wars for oil land and occupation we fight for money to fill our bellies off the weak and give directly to the rich we are our own anti robin hood we steal from the poor and give to the greedyhow screwed up is thati mean hell who are we to just let others walk all over us just to keep food on the table and to make rent our jobs not paying us enough is plenty of a reason to demand change as a people rent for a home is nearly  where i live thats more than  paychecks for some people yet homes are built left and right for people who have the bank account of a rocket scientist however they dont even live there full time its a vacation home of  that they visit maybe once every  years hahahahahahaa sad but undeniable true factthe idea of being remembered crosses our minds atleast once in our short lived lives some of us may think of it on a yearly monthly weekly or even on a daily basis we think of ideas of immortality and how to achieve it we slip into a conscious void of deep thoughts in how to have the world remember us we invent destroy conquer and retreat our countries wage wars and send our fellow brothers and sisters out into the fields to suffer bleed and inevitably die for the idea of doing it for our my country or because we are one and we fight for what we want or what others want this may be a valiant thing however at the end of the day the sick idea is this war is just a large cafeteria food fight the people throwing it are the rich the powerful and greedy and our governments and the food be our brothers and sisters often easily disposable and replaceable if we thought so highly of our brothers and sisters why do we send them our to die to kill their brothers and sisters arent we all at one point related according to science and in the eyes of god as his childrenso answer me this knowing this plus a plethora of other facts about this life do you really think that you are worth anything in the grand scheme of things do you really think that you alone could make a difference in a world today where originality has lost its meaning can you be truly original or are you just going to be another cut of the mill sentenced to die whilst in the womb,3.0
1650,ilsailor your car thats my car ,0.0
1651, unforunately they arent   they just hired a  person who is an absolute bitch thinks she knows everything knows nothing,2.0
1652,pauuulineeee sad but ok  still waiting for u to go back,0.0
1653,where was this kid when i was in  grade ,0.0
1654,sethoz i highly recommend criminal minds ,0.0
1655,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
1656,omg im so excited about tomorrow ,0.0
1657,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
1658,day is heating up already kids r wanting belgian waffles  breakfast this weekend is flying by amp i have managed  get not  thing done ,2.0
1659,needs sleep cant remember the last time i had a decent sleep  ,2.0
1660,lying in bed with my most favorit girl in the world happy mommys day to me ,0.0
1661,im pretty shit man i just want to have a cry about how shit i am i crashed my dads car drink driving to the hospital after fucking my arm up too bad i cant stop messaging my ex with mean and manipulative shit at  after ive had  beers i cant recall what day it is or when anything happened or what anyone said to me im a drug fucked alcoholic who only makes the worst decisions and these fucking pills make me eat so much i wake up every day terrified of my phone and im pushing ,3.0
1662,i seriously start off my morning with some ryanleslie in my ears im just noticing this i digg ,0.0
1663,high waiting for my food to come out of mcds got an  on test ,0.0
1664,darrenporter noooon i always thought it was real amp about to be done   your explanation makes sense though,0.0
1665,slicksays yupso sad ,2.0
1666,verwon lisisilveira we arent doing hunkalert ours is hunkwanted man we are shopping  let me lick back my ears howd i look now ,0.0
1667,ailemaru yeahhhwe are gonna have to do breakfast sometime now haha ,0.0
1668,i feel nothing i dont know whats wrong with me i have no will or energy i have no motivation to do anything i see no reason in trying and just getting out of bed takes so much out of me i feel like im withering away and i dont care about anymore i dont have passion for anything i dont care about success because all i see is death either way there is something so fucked with me and i dont understand whats wrong or why i cant be normal i dont want to lay on the ground i want to he living life but i dont see the point in anything why am i like this its so god damn fucking frustra,3.0
1669,so far today sucks ,2.0
1670,it seems that twitter is like talking to yourself ,2.0
1671, hehehe im kind of over twilight now but seeing the trailer made me all excited again  i wanna watch it nowww,0.0
1672,stewartkris and pattinsonrobt sorry for what happened to you guyssome people have no lives of their ownhope u guys feel better ,0.0
1673,has been tricked into seeing  again  lol,2.0
1674,i need a pepsi now ,2.0
1675,parakeeet haha the little perv p ltfirm tonegt p go to bed now ,0.0
1676,im ready to go home jk but were gonna leave in like  minutes ,2.0
1677,i never invited lots of people this is hectic wth im all alone tomorrow better make tonight a wild night  ,0.0
1678,no alarm clock for the next  days ,0.0
1679,my eyes are so sleepy ,2.0
1680,aw no its raining  am staying in now xx,2.0
1681,dammit i knew i shouldve gotten gas before work dont think imma make it homewish me luck hoping to make it to cloud  tonight ,0.0
1682,konaruss i think you should crowdsource reviews of the king zing over summer   ltahemgt,0.0
1683,mitchelmusso i love your new cd keep on rocking great taste in music ,0.0
1684,going to work yall come visit me ,0.0
1685,off to the recital ,0.0
1686,i kind of feel like ive been punched in the stomach ,2.0
1687,adamnelson lol yes not very fast is generally the meaning of slow ,0.0
1688,at the rangers game bought a  ticket a guy had extra ticket his wife couldnt make it sitting in  seats now by the irish pub ,0.0
1689,think its about time tldr this is just a sad rant suicidal wont actually do it just sadhey there havent talked with you guys in quite a while everything was going pretty good but  maxed out lines of credit  overdue bills and rent fast approaching i think its about time i go ive done a lot in this life had a long fulfilling relationship drank a little had a few true friends until they all turned on me or i turned on them idfk anymore and now im here thinking about just letting life go i dont have a job relationship really kinda anything to live for im pretty mediocre at my hobby and just kinda repeating disappointment and leach on this earth i know im too much of a scared btch to actually do it but im hopeful ive accepted only one person really cares anymore hell maybe she doesnt even check this anymoreheh yeah im just done had a mental breakdown about a cat last night but now im justnumbdead insidenot even in a meme sense its justnothing anymore i havent changed with world i havent done anything spectacular im just dead man walking i have no motives in life yeah my momdad would be sad but once they saw my situation theyd understand i dont know i just dont know ill probably figure it out maybe i hope to you all for well wishes,3.0
1690, no problem man anytime see u tomorrow ,0.0
1691,rt trumpnews hysteria therapists reveal massive uptick in patients with trump anxiety disorder  httpstco,0.0
1692,wahlaos thats a really fast weight loss not even  year  kfc had to fly away to land of noodles mid this week lazy day homes good,0.0
1693,im happy not for any real reason just happy and i like it ,0.0
1694,the hey monday upload pic on the website isnt woking ,2.0
1695,bostongrlkayte thats cool ,0.0
1696,chilled with josh tonight i miss that fuck  now im watching ren amp stimpy ,0.0
1697,i was arguing with my sister and my dad does not do anything he is just watching tv ,2.0
1698,hanaabanana  littlestarred im off for a while see you later and take care ,0.0
1699,is going back to manila  gotta face problems arrg hate it,0.0
1700,yesyesyes mommy is makin cheeeseburgers  oléolé ,0.0
1701,supportmcc thanks  i got some responses so farbut nothing yet,0.0
1702,modelmandylynn nice thats awesome ,0.0
1703,sigh life right now is so slow lonely and unexciting i need something to look forward to  wish i could fly somewhere exciting tt,2.0
1704,made a small splurge on nailcare starting to feel like it was an impulse buy ,2.0
1705,im sorry isaac  blah  i feel horrible im not all here  ah omg i think i just fucked up things ,2.0
1706,here we goflaming unrecognised transaction on my bank account ,2.0
1707,is it bad that i lost all my friends due to my social anxiety is it bad that i literally used to have such a great life amazing girlfriend good friends everything then lost girlfriend and that really did it for me  years of my life wasted but still feel like i will always love her my friends or dont even know if there my friends tbh dont even talk to me i talk to no one anymore i sit in my room all day and just watch tv and smoke everyday same routine sometimes ill cry and it kinda makes me feel better i have a great family its just so hard because no one understands how i feel constantly worrying about everything even things from the past even little things that probably arent true it makes my parents suffer seeing me like this i just feel like i have no one i literally only trust my father and thats sad to me because  years ago i trusted many people who i have lost just dont think ill ever have friends again or a loyal girlfriend or anything ever again tbh ,3.0
1708,i have to talk to some people ill dream about many many man things tonight ,0.0
1709,timalmond dont fret ill hand mine in too  im looking for some new  cotton bed linen ta,0.0
1710,knight my blockhead sisters much love to all smooches ,0.0
1711,kelleexo yeah definitely but i had fun so thats all that matters ,0.0
1712,djsussone u doin an amazing job i see you ,0.0
1713,morning tweets whats in ur box nbox that is   hopefully something good cuz i woke up today with nothing in mine  whose out there ttm,0.0
1714,lethebashar lb after u dude  how goes it,0.0
1715,munnyman nah its the exports not the chavs ,0.0
1716,beaccchhhhh ,0.0
1717,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
1718,how do you know if your depressed life has been rough the past few weeks and right now i just feel like laying in bed and crying i dont think ive experienced anything like this so im not sure what to do,3.0
1719,our little boy has his first taste of nursery today ,2.0
1720,i just read a sad news about his grandfather i hope he will be okay we love you baby tae tae we will pray for you grandfathers soul,0.0
1721, i have hit a point in my life where reading the news gives me anxiety and i feel like that reflects on me as being weak,1.0
1722,rt baldboyblues this is what my mental health looks like right now httpstcodochfilxfy,0.0
1723,  watching aqua teen hunger force my favorite ii love this show so hard ,0.0
1724,im having a depressive episode that makes me isolate myself and the most important person in my life thanked me for giving them space im so tired of being a burden to everyone i love whats the point in being vulnerable and maintaining relationships if my presence is so tiring to the people around me that they feel grateful when im not there,3.0
1725,i feel like crap so im not going to school today ,2.0
1726,victory i won the fat boys contest with a loss of  off to buy a bacon buttie via  cool go rory go rory ,0.0
1727,hot day with cool people ,0.0
1728,good morning yall im such a potato couch ,0.0
1729, ahhhhh kristen where are you i wanna chat toooo ,2.0
1730, i know its a dang shame first they get rid of ray allen now this dats y my team havent been gd since the  ,2.0
1731,blahblahblah so happyblahblah writing some awesome shitblahblah arent my words so eloquent ,0.0
1732,ouch knees hurt badly ,2.0
1733,tommcfly theres a huge rugby game on in aus tonight can you please support the blues nsw with me as noone in my family does ,0.0
1734,my weekend was cut short ,2.0
1735,are antidepressants the easy way out hey guys ive had issues with depression and anxiety for as long as i can remember loss of interest in everything crippling self doubt and self hatred social anxiety and hypochondria the older i get the more i find myself withdrawing and tightening my social group avoiding answering messages from people i love because i feel i have nothing to offer them im pursuing other types of treatment changing diet and exercise cbt hypnotherapy meditation but i cant help but feel like its possible the chemicals in my brain are just out of balance i did try zoloft for a few years in high school but i feel like i wasnt aware enough at the time to really figure out whether or not it helped me my boyfriend whose opinion i respect deeply questions my desire to try antidepressants again because he thinks that drugs might numb my ability to really experience the world and explore my pain so that i can exorcise my demons naturally he equates using powerful drugs to alter your brain chemistry to obtaining wisdom you havent earnedim thinking about this and i find it very difficult to wrap my head around does taking a drug to help balance me mean that ill be dependent on it or can you use it as a tool to help give yourself a foundation to deal with the issues in a more healthy way id like to think it could be a stepping stone toward a healthier outlook on life but im afraid that im just copping out of doing the real work to improve my mental health because i am scared or lazyi would love to hear your experiences with this if youve dealt with anything similar and considered these questions thank you so muchtldr based on your experience do you think antidepressants can serve as a temporary stepping stone to better mental health or do you feel that they are a replacement for genuine effort and gradual change,3.0
1736,xxkristinexxx i only get sin burnt ,2.0
1737,personal experience i wanted to share that changed my life completely and cured my depression disclaimer i am relating my experience i fully understand there is no cure all to depression and everyone has different circumstances i think at its very basic core mental illness can be attributed to a lack of control at least to a degree admittedly lack of control is ambiguous and abstract but i will give you a personal example i had a job i hated for  years i put myself in the situation but i had to deal with people and circumstances that were out of my control my success was predicated heavily on what other people did or didnt do those issues would be left hanging out there they would give me anxiety but they still remained in mind and i had no power to alter or change outcomes it affected every aspect of my life negatively job paid very well  years ago i quit and started my own business went from  k to zero i have a wife a  year old a mortgage etc my life is so much better in almost every regard now i live with purpose i used to take a generic form of lexapro to help with anxiety and impulsiveness and anger i take nothing now i mean nothing and i dont have any of those issues i sleep like a baby every single night people notice and those close to me bring it upthink about in her case her success or perceived success is predicated entirely on how other people view her and what they say about her and i realize im playing arm chair psychologist here i know nothing about her or her situation i am just relating it to my own experiences,3.0
1738,tonyhawk no me   i understand if they beat me though they should win,2.0
1739,ugh having the squirts ,2.0
1740,daniellepwns i love that moviiiiiiie  amp the fanfic ,0.0
1741,lancearmstrong any chance of seeing you at a race in germany unfortunately hardly any tv amp news coverage of cycling here anymore ,2.0
1742,bigassbadger sounds good ,0.0
1743,ive recently begun drinking and its not even helping me cope but i keep doing it im underage and its  am and ive just slugged box wine and a couple wine coolers  and it doesnt really do anythig for me but whenever i feel like shit idrink as much as i can and just go to sleep  i know its not healthy but ive been doing it for the past couple weeks and its made being stuck with myself somehow more bearable i want to stop but dont any help,3.0
1744,cookie time at the subway im always dissing the subway but cookie time can not be denied ,2.0
1745,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
1746,my baby got hurt again im so sorry ,2.0
1747,rubimartes makes sense ,0.0
1748,crazy news  air france flight to rio is missing i do hope its just had issues with its comms not actually crashed scary ,2.0
1749,philipwang ah everyone is seeing that before me ,2.0
1750,disappointed ,2.0
1751,saturday class is no good ,2.0
1752, that link is broken ,2.0
1753,help me i feel this deep emotional pain right now and i just want it to stop,3.0
1754,hey nickaholics jen wanted me to let you know that she has reached her maximum tweets and wont be able to for an hour ,2.0
1755,useless slug here so i broke up with my boyfriend of four years a couple of days ago since then i have been alone in our apartment with all his stuff and i cant seem to do anything but play idiotic games on my phone time goes by and then ill go to work because i have to i could probably call in but i have never been keen on doing that because i know first hand how other people get screwed over when someone decides not to show up then at work i feel like a bad coworker because im not cheerful happy or particularly motivated get home so relieved to be out of the bar i work at and what do i do smoke tons of pot and play more games on my phone i am a useless slug who doesnt even care to feed herself or shower this post is stupid and im sorry about that even though i wasnt happy in the relationship i really didnt want to break up because now i dont know who is going to love me i have always wanted to get married and since i was  ive been trying to find the right person and make it happen but ssris andor depression have totally killed my sex drive and that in turn has ruined every good relationship ive had so i feel like because i dont have that desire anymore im never going to deserve or find a human companion so thats it i guess,3.0
1756,rt sadhgurujv the rate of suicides propelled by depression amp frustration in the us amp several other parts of the world is alarming raisin,2.0
1757,id really appreciate if everyone would visit my blog summersidemoneyblogspotcom  please follow and comment i need the traffic  thanks,0.0
1758,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
1759,damn yo i fuckin hate roches five minute starring contest and then i almost broke my dang finger ,2.0
1760,awesome weekend hope you all enjoyed it too  goodnight,0.0
1761,life sucks sometimes ill laugh and have a good day but sometimes ill have the worst day and want to run away and just live outside and do nothing no friends just sit there its not like its a difference to right now i have lots of friends its just life is so hard and i want a purpose cause something happened today and right now is just i just wanna leave just go anywhere but here anywhere just leave and i feel like im sinking and no ones going to help me cause no one cares and i want to cry and i dont like my life and i want hope and love and my life just sucks ,3.0
1762,i have a risk to start over a year in school but im too unmotivated to fix it i graduate from school in six months if i fix my shit i dont do anything or not that much in school and if i think about it i get worried and depressed about myself and my future i know what to do but i just dont do it im at the peak of no motivation i also have mild depression not diagnosed so its like a roller coaster i also have low self esteem and anxiety the worst part is i dont know what do to after school when i actually do fix it its haunting me in two ways,3.0
1763,vickytors whhhyyyyyyy i feel hungover ,2.0
1764,in new jersey let the boredom n lonliness begin ,2.0
1765,earthsense have a restful sleep ,0.0
1766,chriskettle i like dollars and sense maybe we can do a jv ,0.0
1767,being bored staring at the computer waiting for this hottie to right me back ,0.0
1768, woop woop  think im in need of a brew xx,0.0
1769,i know what to do but dont it hey guys i know what to do in order to get out of depression and feel great achieve my personal and academic goals but somehow i always faili get a good streak of maybe  days and then everything goes to shit againi know masturbating and watching porn makes me tired and depressed i know that eating junk food also depresses mei know going to the gym will make me feel great about myselfi have no friends therefore no accountability partnerhow can i make sure i pull through with all these things in order to beat depression,3.0
1770,quotgot the news today doctor said i had to wait a little bit longer and ill be finequot awww i cant listen to this songmakes me sad ,2.0
1771,la puta madre me siento re identificada ,1.0
1772,im so horribly alone my boyfriend broke up with me a couple days ago and i didnt realize how much joy he brought into my life im so unstable i really dont believe i can live without a partner im quite young  but i need somebody ive been quite suicidal lately i think i might do it ,3.0
1773,daily suicidal thoughts well its goes that everyday for like the past month i have at least  thoughts a day about committing suicide i highly doubt i will do it because i dont believe that suicide is a answer to problems but it does fuck with my head a good biti have been diagnosed with clinical depression in the past and with addictions happening at the moment for sure doesnt help ,3.0
1774,is finishin up amp then headin  cville for  mre hours very excited  the weekend  bampw festival sat amp then who knows ,0.0
1775,rt softcurlsh achoothelegend so sad alexa play they were never together by me,2.0
1776,getting ready for school   guys    bye    ♥ceceboo♥,0.0
1777,thanks mylescollins our propoversary is happy ,0.0
1778,cant wait  see my couzo shes coming wme  summerjam ,0.0
1779,melvinneo thx again bro ,0.0
1780,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
1781,probably need to change our picture given that it is just me now rick ,2.0
1782,goodnight ,0.0
1783,aaah skul again ,2.0
1784,angiemacaroni  i got another idea for a sketch by the way that we can film ,0.0
1785,am just struggling so hard right now guys i kinda broke down last night to be honest im just always tired always pissed off cant concentrate never have time to do anything fun or something im interested only three days a week the weekends basically like i come home from school and just sleep until my arrogant parents just scream at me to wake up this is every single day and im just so sick of it i feel like if i argue with my parents again im just gonna stay at my friends house or somethingi once saw a post on here someone wanting to sit on a rooftop with someone else and just talk about life wish i really had that nowi just want to vent my feelings here,3.0
1786,rainy cold day started my summer class so its back to the books and playtime is over     back is getting betterstill looking for reiki,2.0
1787,how to be happy i just want to be truely happy all i do is try my best to please others and do what is expected of me it has taken a tool on my mental health and idk how to seek help i have no motivation to socialize and push everyone away i constantly zone out stare into space and am sleep deprived im unhappy with my weigh and accomplishments my parents are not understanding how do i get out of my current mental state,3.0
1788,im catching lighting bugs outside  ,0.0
1789,revvedupdip the question is what exactly did you watch to send your mind reeling a thousand miles per hour  hmmmmmwhat indeed  ,0.0
1790,is off to work til  tonight tweet you laterz ps kelliesimpson you me latenightcereal tonight its on   x x x,0.0
1791,imogenheap just listening to your cd with a coffee in hand  nothing better to start a sunday ,0.0
1792,photobucket lags my computer so bad ,2.0
1793,the night is still young    ,0.0
1794,last chance to relax before a whole new week unfolds  happy sunday everyone,0.0
1795,is eating coco puffs texting charlie and watching brad pitt and julia roberts  life    ,0.0
1796,woah up workin all night isnt very fun almost had a pt die tonight ,2.0
1797,received the sweetest compliments tonight from a greeneyed puerto rican hottie  ,0.0
1798,justinexxx ah cool hope it looks great  x,0.0
1799,ryanseacrest yeah no doubt did appear on gossip girlbut their bands name was called snowed out for the show ,0.0
1800, ne sono certo   quotbegin each day as if it were on purposequot,0.0
1801,hasbeentuna i love you ,0.0
1802,i am in the most crappiest class ever band ,2.0
1803,russely i really want to but no ride  and its so expensive,2.0
1804,ginology awwwwwwwwwww you dont have to do that that is so sweet not sure how i would autograph it  you could send it to me,0.0
1805,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
1806,my brain is being a bully again today i mostly suffer from anxiety but depression hit me hard again this past weekend  i still keep crying off and on cause my brain keeps saying im stupid not good enough and that my life is pointless  mostly just these three things in different ways till i break down  wish itd quiet down  been trying to distract myself but the mean thoughts keep coming back,3.0
1807,missed baptisms at la jolla shores its like missing a friends wedding it only happens once ,2.0
1808,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
1809,prettiiblack damn bitch u live on da northside i neva see u ova here lol nobody ever come visit my ass ,2.0
1810,just got alexys newborn pics done  they turned out so good,0.0
1811,switchtwitch аа  � предлагала обмен�ть�� ингридиентами в ре�торанчике на фей�буке � тебе лемончик или beans а ты мне гарлик,0.0
1812,jonasbrothers  aww its a school night so i cant see it  again,2.0
1813,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
1814,i guess some people neve ever change ,2.0
1815,hmmmmthunder and lighting with a green backdrop i am thinking massive tstorm with possible tornado  think i better power down ,2.0
1816,im gone have to delete my friends from flo on snap cause my depression isnt going to be able to watch them have f httpstcokrubeoyuro,0.0
1817,love has never been so far wish you would see how much im going to miss you ,2.0
1818,who wants to make me some buko pandan ,0.0
1819,purchased  touch pro but cant seem to get the bookmarklet to work  initially launched nonpro removed nonpro now nothing,2.0
1820,tommcfly toooom why you never ever replied to me did you read at least  wwwmcflyerscombr xx,2.0
1821,watching hills   i miss you,0.0
1822,just ate at lamberts cafe  now headed to build a bear in malbis for the kids probably gonna play in the water too,0.0
1823,cshirky thanks for that quotarrrquot for the pirate party i reckon ,0.0
1824,also the story may or may not be a metaphor about depression,2.0
1825,hates this weather i have bad hayfever ,2.0
1826,talking to one of my best friends always makes me feel better  ill probably be on the phone til i go to bed i may or may not be on tonight,0.0
1827,is already looking forward to going to popsikle next week ,0.0
1828,me and youngq in camden  hes such a sweetheart ,0.0
1829,shandiarchie gosh david at  httpbitlypmvry   but haha  is good enough tho,2.0
1830,fetusatthedisco what r u getting pierced now if u wanna get something done i will take u to freo ,0.0
1831,my anxiety can really increase around certain people does not feel good 😕😕,1.0
1832,rt aajtak मराठा आरक्षण की मांग पर पूरा महाराष्ट्र सुलग उठा है सिर्फ पुणे में उपद्रवियों ने  से अधिक वाहन फूंक दिए,1.0
1833,redwings   ,2.0
1834,  crumbs this really is a poor result looked okay on phone but in bright sunlight ,2.0
1835,ineedmysoul welcome back ,0.0
1836,poynterperve dont you mean staring at all the time ,0.0
1837,my moms computer crashed ,2.0
1838, fuck,2.0
1839,on my way to austin  i didnt get to say buy to you,2.0
1840,rt  thought i had seasonal depression but nope this bitch is all year round,2.0
1841,i am in absolute bliss at the beach this trip has been everything to my mental health ,0.0
1842,day  of my vacation and its pouring no fun at all ,2.0
1843,rt lishadin ngl im sad that i dont have anyone to dedicate my header to 🤧,2.0
1844,is going to miss lisa so much ,2.0
1845,good day at the park today think im a bit sunburnt though ,2.0
1846,rt channybuckets anxiety in a picture 😂😂 ,2.0
1847,tomorrow is my last day of school wohoo too bad i have to take a  hour final  with  essays gahhhh,2.0
1848,i hope i get hit by a truck i dont want to kill myself but i dont want to be alive anymore i wish the universe would somehow just end my miserable existence i literally am a useless piece of garbage and a waste of resources im scared of dying but wish i was never born i resent my parents for ever giving birth to me i hate them for choosing to bring me into this world without my consent just because they wanted children my mom has so many mental illnesses she should have been less selfish and ended her shitty genes instead of having me,3.0
1849,itoneboogie bro please stop these tweets  u lose followers ,2.0
1850,broken medication doesnt seem to be working anymore non stop suicidal thoughts all day even after being relatively good the last month at this point im pretty sure anyone else in this body would have offed themselves years ago not sure why i keep going,3.0
1851,need some advice lost all motivation as the title says i have  motivation to do anything all i do is sleep and go to work nowi used to write and make short films had a gaming channel and skin care channel on youtube but recently ive had no motivation to do anything i dont even have any motivation to do something as petty as playing a video game all i do after work is lay in bedhave any of you ever experienced something like this and if so how did you overcome it,3.0
1852, ill be going into year  you ,0.0
1853,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
1854,got bited by some kinda bug in the pool ,2.0
1855,good morningit´s raining in málaga ,2.0
1856,dopechickjen when it comes to the lakers yes ,0.0
1857,hey everyone whats up having a great day i feeling pretty blessed today ,0.0
1858,royal mail have delivered my new watch but unfortunately not to me  have to wait a few days for proof of delivery to show up online ,2.0
1859,stereominate am i not a fwend ,2.0
1860,feeling mad sick ,2.0
1861,the worst part about depression for me is getting out of it for a long time and then coming back down hard i got a new job i made a new life for myself and built something i enjoy and used to be proud of but another episode of depression comes crashing in and destroys any sense of happiness that i even remotely felt i feel even more helpless every time and this one seems to be the worst,3.0
1862,i really want a go on google wave  i know this makes me a big geekbuti just want a go just onemake it happen googlekthxbi,2.0
1863,tommcfly if you come to australia we shall call you by your australian name which shall be tomgaroo ,0.0
1864,i would like my old neighbor back please this new one plays too much base i hate base it hurts ,2.0
1865,moved countries still depressed tldr moved to a different country in an attempt to change my life for the better and leave depression behind me still just as depressedive been depressed for the latter portion of my life but its become worse within the past  years started on antis  years ago cipralex pristiq graduated from cbt still found myself crying in the office bathroom middayeventually came to the conclusion that my unhappiness is my job my city and my obligations to friends and family randomly applied for a masters degree in another country seeking higher education was the veil to hide that i just wanted to gtfomoved around  months ago and still think of killing myself everyday so now i dont know what to do doesnt seem like i will ever be able to get any relief if making a change to my life this drastic still cant help me i guess im just frustrated ive done everything right all the do this to manage your depression lists but i still feel like shit ,3.0
1866,to go i was disappointed but not bitter take a deep breathe not everyone gets to do everything such is life bring on the cruise stories ,0.0
1867,the illness is strong with this one tds sad themoreyouknow,1.0
1868,change of plan at the park  beautiful and sunny,0.0
1869,sharlynnx hahah yeahhhhh o normally my saturdays are boring as but today is exciting ,0.0
1870,what seems so weirdlyk well nvr been lyk tht  umhh think i cnt sleep  god i need u ,2.0
1871,yulianasari  mee  happy dancing  what photo what are u doing now,0.0
1872,i forgot i set my itunes to display by play count last night i didnt understand why taylor swift was in front of belinda haha ,0.0
1873,goodnight well actually good morning ,0.0
1874,nicholaswyoung shoot me the url and ill get it listed ,0.0
1875,its been nice having medicaid but it only lasts  weeks after baby  hope i dont get postpartum depression on top of clinical depression,1.0
1876,last day of summer  first day of hell tomorrow  hahaha,2.0
1877,stuck in ridic traffic today is so nice ,2.0
1878,i hate watching movies where animals are getting hurt ,2.0
1879,rt anendtosuicide dear parentsmental health gt gradesdear schoolsmental health gt gradesdear society mental health gt grades,1.0
1880,livingcrazeh  hahahaa atlast i had an idea of what is really going on ,0.0
1881,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
1882,music hall or had rock once again so many choices ,2.0
1883,yummyone morning hon how are you weather looking a bit crappy ,2.0
1884,  when i have anxiety attacks i put music on and do my hair somehow it relaxes me,2.0
1885,realtylerzed  poop heads we were no happier with obama we were very sad especially when he got a sec ,1.0
1886,lol good times in the journalism back roomeveryone else thinks were weird now ,0.0
1887,rt tonistory i quit my job last month to pursue my mealprep business based out of nj full time one rt can help me pay my bills and calm,1.0
1888, was one the worst year in my life hoping that  will be better graduated from a shitty uni with shitty degree to a shitty job market so ive been jobless for the whole year relatives makes fun of my unemployment ended up obese from my dependency on food as an emotional comfort contemplating suicide a few times from all this i used to be one of the happiest people around and now i seclude myself all day only finding whatever joy i have left in my hobbiesi want get better i want to exercise i want to socialise and just have fun but i couldnt get past all the crushing shitty reality i found myself in and wonder if its worth itthank you for reading whoever you are lets hope this year will a brighter spot in our lives,3.0
1889,wittertainment  just wondering did dr k find drag me to hell as funny as it was horribly enjoyable  ,0.0
1890,addiction every time that im sober i convince myself that drunk me is less miserable every time that i am drunk i acknowledge that i was wrong however i continue to drink myself to sleep every single night i show up to work drunk every day feeling completely hopless is still somehow better than feeling nothinghas anybody else dealt with this does anybody have any tips for dealing with my sober thoughts i dont know what to do ill try anything at this point thank you in advance,3.0
1891,vulcanstev mines only worth  ,2.0
1892,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
1893,my birthday is always a reminder of how lonely i am today is my birthday and i cant wait until its over every year my birthday seems to serve as a reminder of how lonely i am and how few close friends i actually have i hate this day,3.0
1894,chuckstr  mauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh xoxoxooxo huggs and kisses,0.0
1895,wwdc is tomorrow cant wait ,0.0
1896,this is kinda true and sad,2.0
1897,lexramli wei dont like dat leh kemfunan members over here hear your jakarta food orders tau  stomach growls,2.0
1898,banteringblonde i have a pc sisterinlaw is a graphic designer uses mac shes a pro at it but no time for me ,2.0
1899,prosecutors say mental health law should be scaled back – the philadelphia tribune ,0.0
1900,dunno what to do ,2.0
1901,thiaccc how was your day snounouuuuuuuuuuuu mine was ok but long i love you ,0.0
1902,sleep  who needs sleep  apparently not me  everyone up at  this morning  grrr  of course i am supposed to work tonight ,2.0
1903,tomorrows the final show ,2.0
1904,pompeygal not so hot in waterlooville but we have every window open from about  to let the air through but am hot now ,2.0
1905,izzyreed followed  andyhurleyday andyhurleyday andyhurleyday,0.0
1906,i just had a breakdown when my oreo broke and fell into my glass of milk me and my girlfriend used to sit around for hours and eat oreos it was my turn to buy them before she left me,3.0
1907,nettlecake respect i didnt think anyone darned socks anymore i guess that exposes me as decadent and wasteful ,2.0
1908,going to see up yay im so excited unfortunately since its in  we cant use our giftcard today  oh well we will use it next time,2.0
1909,anyone wanna talk  male from england bored as fuck gonna be awake all night contemplating shit feel free to message or challenge me on whatever you want just one stranger to another why the fuck not,3.0
1910,sywj hey that is cool by the way series  is on the way ,0.0
1911,my stomach hurts ,2.0
1912,starting off the night on a bad start ,2.0
1913,well to get my brother and then come back gahh i want to see my aunt  but i dont like the idiot that lives across the street,2.0
1914,is not having a good time paintingso tiredso sore ,2.0
1915,baileylou hurry up as soon as family guy is over im walking to mythic ,0.0
1916,borderlinedepression prescription  with past addiction from opiates im on methadone hey guys my first post in this subreddit my goal is to get better im really trying but sometimes i fell like im kill myself to resolve my mental problems i fell very tired like not get out of bed or no energy at all some emptyness that i cant explain and sadness all the way down sorry for my bad english im brazilian and i learned english by myself on games movies and forunsso im in treatment it was very hard to find a good psychiatrist but i think i found it everyone wanted to reduce me methadone dose like  by week and i take  logical i got bad wd i found one that save my life and the only thing i found to stabilize me from getting opioids is the methadone im not clean but it helps a lot the times i want to inject some morphine which i was addicted  my story with opioids lasted  yrs i started with codeine pulled to tramadol and then oxycontin until i find the very custbenefit morphine in my life and get in love with that i started iving when the money couldnt more buy morphine for oral use for this bamy tolerance got so high that i was iving  of morphday so i couldnt pay got a demission from work and finally got an overdose and went to rehab in brazil opiod addiction is almost none you cant find heroin here if you abuse opioids you need a fake prescript or a pharm that dont need prescription and my contact was that one i bought morphine for yrs for a price more expensive than the normal price i started doing it on my  i was really thinking in suicide on that time and opioids killed all my depression symptoms i had the energy to do things because i got addicted to something stronger the fucking speedball morphine and coke togheter in the syringe i could study and work until it got out of my control i was a slave and i got to  daily with a good  of coke togheter despite all my symptons got away i know it wouldnt last forever and on my first overdose on  old i got to a rehab that just trown my in a room and locked me i have logical so bad wd my room were so fucked up vomit all the way shit too and after that they started givin me methadone i in the past used for some time off morph and i got back all the times today im in  of methadone and this killed my wds and my will for more morphine it stabilized me but all my old symptoms got back and now im dealing with depressionanxiety that was not treated for  so i think this and my shit infance my shit solitude got me back to i found a good psichyatrist that saved me from getting my dose down not that he wants to put me down he wants take off very much slower than others in brazil it was the first time i listened the words harm reduction it tranquilized me a bit but i am with stronger depression mood lifting auto mutilation and anxiety problems my prescription ismorning  omeprazole  lexapro  wellbutrin  clonazepam and  of pregabalinafternoon  methadone  kpins and  of wellbutrinnight  lyrica  kpins  trazadone and  of lamotrigine it will get up to first lamotrigine gave me more tiredness and sleepness but now i got used to it and next week will be up to  and  weeks later  he just added lamotigine and increased my bup dose from  to im still struglling with all my problems my girl finished with me recently after  so i got very bad and i fall to cocaine again im  months morphine free but my coke addiction intranasally and iving got back i really want to get better and live a normal life again so i am prepared for quit coke again and go with the meds what u guys think about my prescription it is enough or too much i fell tired and out off energy but im struggling to get better going to a psychologist going too academy trying to do things but its fucking hard and i have a tendency to postpone my problems and not battle with themhow do u guys live with this its insane just whi have it know the problems i havethank you very much appreciate if u read everything if u know anything that will help i will be glad,3.0
1917,amarjyoti from the airport yes ,0.0
1918,what do you think the root of your depression is for the most part i forget i generally just feel bad  but its come to mind again recentlya lot of people like trying to put this all on external controllable factors  like its someone who makes you feel pressured a failed relationship career disappointment loneliness etci was sad when i lost the ability to work out as well as i used to due to a health issue rebounding and then becoming chronici was sad when i stopped hearing music out of nowhere that i would then translate into something other people could hear by picking up an instrument and playing iti am sad when people make fun of me in very small ways and think they are doing it in a clever manner but i know they are doing iti am sad friends diedi am sad with what happened to some of my relationships once i went from youth to adulthoodbut i was depressed in grade   and back then i remember thinking about it as well  it isnt something existentiali still have no idea what it is,3.0
1919,im a fucking empty shell again this is more of a rant than a call for help i need to get myself back to therapy ive just fallen back into what i recognize as a pattern of terrible behavior ive lost myself again this time it was set off by the end of a wonderful longterm relationship the last time i was in this mindset it lasted for  years drastically different trigger though  im still rebuilding family relationships because of it i dont know who i am now i dont know how i got to where i am or why i ever wanted to be here i fall headfirst into serious avoidance coping mostly with alcohol and television being so isolated from reality is super toxic for me i start to build plans out of fake situations last time i ended up signing up for and taking the mcat because i got hooked on watching house and decided that i wanted to be him in order to manufacture a sense of purpose all the while maiming myself and crying in the shower no plot twist here i am not a doctor as a result of this it feels like all of my internal reasoning drive and passions have gone out the window i just feel entirely dissociated and irreparable andwellboring i dont know how else to put it other than i dont know how to live in reality so i disappear into fake created universes for hourseven days at a time all of my motivation comes from fucking television shows as i try to mimic characters that have what im after which is nowhere near solid enough to realize any situation its a pathetic feeling and i dont know how to fix it ,3.0
1920,rt taylifts facts ,2.0
1921,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
1922,neilbradley your flickr link isnt working ,2.0
1923,this might be a do da do lifes good moment ,2.0
1924,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
1925,rt  psa has content that may not be okay for some to read includes suicide ,0.0
1926,apparently i still like boys sorry melbot ,2.0
1927,girlfriend of  years broke up with me i feel lost as for the reasons we broke up its a lot and stupid i feel lost not sure what to do spent a good time crying and just dont want to be physically here right now im going to eventually deal with family knowing which will make it worse for me to deal with honestly hate myself right now im hoping i can restart the day and do everything right im not looking forward to the future i tell myself i will be okay eventually but it feels like its going to be a lot longer than i hopedthanks for reading and sorry for the rambling thoughts ,3.0
1928,the so called help for depression lies behind an amount of effort long title because i didnt really know how to put that and more of a rant because i need toconsidering that a large part of what depression is has completely shut me down to the point where im completely failing to study in a field i actually am super interested in and enjoy working on computer games development if you want to know now a week or two ago i got a email from university saying im being withdrawn from the course and to my high surprise i actually got myself upright and got in contact with the student association i know have the form to appeal it the multipage document with  pixel writing on every page requiring huge amounts of detailed writing with cited evidence that i also need to actually gather i have like  weeks before it gets autorejectedwith all that in mind this appeal form is directed in part at people with mental health issues and how can i possibly be expected to deal with that in such a tiny time frame i wouldnt go with continuing my course if i didnt feel i was getting better overall and thusly am sure i can pass fairly easily next year now though with this bloody thing in my way im caving right back in losing months of progress and dont know what to do with my life to the point of coming up shorter than ever on reasons to continue it spent a fair hour or so contemplating posting to rsuicidewatch or here but decided since i had at least a few days left in me id leave that sub for later i dont really know either what im aiming to achieve with this post since i cant really think of anything id respond to this sort of post if i saw other people post itsorry for the rant but needed to get that out my system odd really considering it contains the very point that im finding severe difficulty writing out that bloody appeal form,3.0
1929,i feel so empty my depression has gotten to the point where i usually dont feel anything except for this overwhelming feeling of emptiness i dont really know how to explain it but im sure a lot of you know what im talking about im really struggling to find a reason to live right now i need a purpose,3.0
1930,i just want to die exactly what it says on the tin,3.0
1931,the fog is like a blanket of sad energy,1.0
1932,sign up free   guaranteed and ill help you personally make money online from home free  httpwwwearnforfreeinfo,0.0
1933,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
1934,i wanna be excited about blackpool but my anxiety is so bad im incredibly dissociated amp pukey 😩,1.0
1935,angielim it happened to me about a month ago too but not again until tonight looks like an os bug and no extra batteries on iphone ,2.0
1936,going to do homework math sheet and dbq ,2.0
1937,i am in absolute agony with this god damn sunburn pale girls  sun  not fun ,2.0
1938,sundeeptoor aww  you got a deadline,2.0
1939,i want to fucking run away from everything it hurts so much,3.0
1940,im tired of being single and alone i just dont want to be single anymore i want to love and be loved i want a companion in life a partner and a best friend i want someone i can talk to someone who loves me for who i am someone i can cuddle and watch dumb movies all night or listen to music or just cuddle in comfortable silence someone i can share pictures and stories with and exchange knowledge someone i can argue with over dumb stuff we can eat some fancy food in some fancy place i want a connection i dont even care much about sex its not what i want all of that simple if a bit idealistic stuff im not dreaming of castles and rainbows and sunshine i just want a friend who loves meevery time i see couples together holding hands and just loving one another my heart breaks and my chest feels heavy im overwhelmed with sadness im glad for them i just wish i could experience this too im just so lonely i never imagined id be like this i always thought someone would come or would reciprocate but alaswhy am i cursed like this im just some guy like a lot of other guys and please being single is not as glamorous as a lot of people would make it out to be oh being single is so awesome i dont need anyone im free as a bird weehoo no just no if that makes you happy great but im tired of it the void inside me is growing with each passing day,3.0
1941,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,2.0
1942,im so jealous of my friend she can eat all day and not gain a single pound but with me if i eat a tiny cracker i gain it all ,2.0
1943,ugh one of the functions in my program is wrong    got to try and fix it  sob,2.0
1944,is doing homework ,2.0
1945,rt selinaeshraghi suicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a for,1.0
1946,wishes he was going to javaone ,2.0
1947,ugh im seriously gonna want this altho they only seem to ship to the us and canada  httpwwwtransformerscollectorssetcom,2.0
1948,watched uk masterchef when i lived there far better nailbiting entertainment not to be missed this onejurys still out ,2.0
1949,ever feel like your job in life is just titled failure nothing good ever happens but good enough that you live another day but wanna die,3.0
1950,caseyrosexoxo i work  to  ,2.0
1951,its your choice to no idiot it fucking isnt my choice im in school right now arguing with my mother who clearly doesnt understand depression i get severe depressive episodes that strike without warning and it often happens during school i often beg her not to make me go but she forces me to anyways ive tried explaining it to her but she fails to understand that i dont choose to be or act depressed it just happens she tells me you can choose to change your mindset and have a good day my god that fucking irritates me more than anything no mom i dont choose anything i didnt choose to feel the stares and laughs of the people judging me for my bald haircut i didnt choose to get random episodes of severe depression that take all my concentration to prevent myself from screaming and crying hysterically i didnt choose any of it ,3.0
1952,kbeertje nah it wasnt that much the bathroom was busy ,0.0
1953,jaylastarr of course youre very welcome  xo,0.0
1954,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
1955,what is the point of therapy if you dont want tocant get better im one of the many who cant see themselves getting better or even seeing a reason to get betterimagine yourself getting rid of all depression is that a happy life for you only  years of working almost every day in your life await you just to get by and buy a few nice things now and then how is that desirablelets make it even better you win the lottery and you have lots of cash enough to live a good life without working another day in your life i still dont see myself becoming happy and not going back to my depressive state after a few weeksmonthyear yes money definitely helps but money is not everythingso if even that isnt desirable for me then what is the point in living what is the point in going to therapy if it ultimately cant fix me because deep down i dont want to be fixed nothing interests me anymorehas someone been in a similar situation but still went to therapy what happened arent you just wasting money and time for everyone involvedincluding yourself maybe you didnt fix your big problem but existing is easier i dont know convince me why getting help is the right thing to do even if it cant fix my biggest problem maybe it can make other things easierbetter maybe it can make the time i have left better in some way some magic pill that will make me forget how meaningless everything is even if its just for a few months or a yearthe time before my inevitable suicide is simply way too draining and long obviously i am either too scared or not ready to do it otherwise i wouldnt be here and able to make this postthis became super fucking long but the tldr is is there a point to go to therapy even if you dont want or cant get better can it help you at least short term,3.0
1956,seriously squarespace why havent gotten it ,2.0
1957,ive lost everyone ive always considered myself a very social person i thrived in social situations and gained energy from being with others for the longest time ive been friends with this one group literally our entire lives weve been friends last year there was a big rift between me and this other person and it drove me away from the group they still hang out and talk and i havent talked to any of them in months when we did talk it was superficial ive lost them my best friends for  years and im now on the outside looking in of our friendshipin college i figured id make friends but its the same case no meaningful friendships just people who are friends doing their friendly things and i occasionally show up to talk during lunch i dont have a friend group anymore im alone ive lost everyone im considering making a dramatic exit of my  year friends in a total cry for help i dont know what to do i just want friends,3.0
1958,at worksad bc i left my earplugs to my pod touch  ,2.0
1959,going to lay in my beddd my tummy hurts ,2.0
1960,friend has depression how can i possibly help this friend and i got closer over time and i found out that he has depression but the thing is that it keeps coming and going he hasnt had the easiest life his parents dont accept him etc   basically he said he feels like his family abandoned him and he wouldnt wish this on his worst enemy what can i do to possibly help i usually listen and ask a few questions whenever we talk but sometimes im at a loss for words so what can i possibly saydo to maybe ease the depression he says he feels like he just wants to leave everything and he doesnt want to see anyone all advice is appreciated,3.0
1961,you know whats surprisingly hard to find  a case for an ipod touch   one made specifically for the shape of the   mine broke  ,2.0
1962,im paralyzed by it all this morning i have ptsd depression anxiety my so and i had a rough night and our conversation brought me to thinking about my past before i had escaped the abuse of someone very close to me because of the nature of the conversation my feelings were pretty intense so i was eventually overwhelmed and brought to shivering and nausea we decided to go to sleep shortly after and i had flashback dreams of course now this morning i am paralyzed and i feel like i literally cannot do anything this isnt new i get varying degrees of this many mornings but im still in school and i actually cant miss any more school or ill have to deal with getting screwed over i dont know what im going to do or how im going to do it i just needed to put this somewhere ,3.0
1963,irishsamom and yep i finally did ask for help from a source that is very unwilling but he had no choice ,2.0
1964,really hungover need to get to post office to pick up a parcel before it shuts at  too drunk to drive cba with bike long walk it is ,2.0
1965,people say they support people with mental illnesses while calling people who show obvious signs of mental illness creepy lazy and messy im sorry im not like the attractive sad people on tv depression isnt just listening to sad music and brooding it affects just about everything in your life and people need to stop pretending to care while insulting people who show actual signs of depression ,3.0
1966,gahh im missing alot pppagdanes daninipaninii reginareyes hypercarms also mikdc ,2.0
1967,groundhog day wake up do absolutely nothing talk to nobody remain in the same location all day eat minimally go to sleep repeatday after day after day and im not just talking about quarantine for years time has become a nebulous concept a cruel joke that reminds me of my eternal servitude to this cycle i dont know what day it is i can hardly remember who i am now im just a ghost that can only experience one feeling one color and one existence gray i dont even care that im stuck in it anymoreim just waiting for it to be over,3.0
1968,is this what being extremely depressed like i got diagnosed with anxiety and depression two years ago but never actually continued on with actual treatment because the doctor who diagnosed me wasnt taking on new patients and my parents still dont really believe in mental illnesses to this day so the referrals were never contacted and i never went on to another appointment in the beginning i had mild but chronic depression like it would come and go in periods but i was still very high functioning then my headaches got continually worse and my energy drained about the time i was still functioning but like bare minimum was when i was diagnosed but also was on my way out of low so was convinced by my parents nagging that maybe i really wasnt depressed now today im at the lowest ive ever been im tired all the time after sleeping  or more cant concentrate on anything at all and not sure what to do the referrals i got two years ago i never got the chance to look at and my parents say they lost them but also think i dont need to go to the doctors again bc last time was useless also i had a bad experience with betrayal of trustconfidentality from my counselor who told my parents about my condition before i was ready so thats why i didnt push to make an appointment after getting referred i think i was dealing with that hurt by denying the whole situation as well but now im not sure what to do not  yet so im not sure how to go about getting help on my own,3.0
1969,owww my arm ,2.0
1970,rt faguettte your wcw blames their depression on planets being in retrograde to cover up how much of a mess they are its me im your wcw,2.0
1971,shannonminion heeeee ,0.0
1972,party crashing tonight ,0.0
1973,just woke up it was supposed to go shopping today but ive got too much homework so im not going  hate school  days,2.0
1974,popcorninvasion yes ,2.0
1975,thehillers ok you two time to get a private room lol ,0.0
1976,i havent had a great birthday since i turned ,0.0
1977,leechbabe pmsl love it ,0.0
1978,mysql install went awry  error  im stuck,2.0
1979,lizign better picture of me  its not worth trying theyre all bad all the time ,0.0
1980,what i feel like is the ultimate cure for depression disclaimer this is not for people that are going through it but rather those in the aftermath after the damage has been donei understand everyones situation differs so this may not even apply but ill make it simple were all coping with painsuffering that we cannot handle and never want to deal with again facing any form of tension or reality is frightening as it exposes who we really are and what we are made of the truth beams light through our trash mindsets and years of consuming into our own lies of what we went through why we went through it and why we felt a certain way and how to never feel that way again forming your ultimate comfort zone we can blame ourselves other people and soak into the past kill your confidence and never leave your house again but honestly the only way i see it is we need to confront our otherself with our true self an internal battle that when won you realize the truth about yourself and what you need most in your life or even forgot you needed this is what i think and what im starting to believe it is far from easy to confront life or death emotions but what feels like the highest risk yields the highest reward its the fear of what caused your depression to happen again but is what i believe ultimately brings your best version back to life its just a thought,3.0
1981,jessilopez i miss u too gurl  howve u been u can txt me if u want ,2.0
1982,jtroyer thanks john main bug bare is that  i have to wait  for compatibility with lifecycle manager srm amp view ,2.0
1983,rt girlposts me takes  depression naps during the day and manages to fall asleep again at night and sleep in and wake up late ,2.0
1984,just leveled up in restaurant city on fb now on level  ,0.0
1985,i wonder how they broke it to the kids ,2.0
1986,today is the salons last day  there are no words,2.0
1987,wishes she could wake up and be out of debt impossible i know ,2.0
1988,ryanbooker yep its all in the image reflections  just that ive never seen any powerpoint look as good as keynote its not just the steve,0.0
1989,rt jolantru warning this mulan movie has no happy songs talking dragon but its beautiful lush sad and will gives you all the feels,0.0
1990,its the last day im having off  gonna enjoy the weather and some studying ha ha p,2.0
1991,yfeofficial   she is sweet indeed everyone should have a friend like her ,0.0
1992,every time i start to think positively about some aspect of myself looks weight ect someone always says something that pushes me back down again im well aware im overweight i want to change it and recently ive been trying to eat better and exercise moreso today i said what i was going to have for dinner and someone dont want to say who they are in relation to me for privacy reasons said yeah fine i guess you can have that if you want they didnt seem too happy in their tone so i asked them why so they said well i thought you wanted to lose weight but youre not really trying to eat healthyi know that they didnt mean it in a mean wayi know that i should and want to eat healthieri know that it really was good and helpful and thats how it was meant they even clarified that they didnt mean i was fat and ugly and i understand thatbut i was just starting to not hate myself over the way i looked and it just threw me back into a spiral of selfhatred insecurity and criticism for daring to think that maybe i looked pretty good im not even that overweighti just want it to stop,3.0
1993,good morning to all of you  now im readyanywayhaving breakfast and singingyeah im doin both of that  ♥,0.0
1994,favorite part about last night getting attention from guys while u sat and watched ,0.0
1995,jonerp i dont think so but using bwa does provide many benefits needs more research ,0.0
1996, the docs office got my vegas nerve stimulator turned on it should help w my depressionseizures pandas is bo ,0.0
1997,kimilovesjb jb all the way baby ,0.0
1998,ima cry if i lose   starstrukk ,2.0
1999,ive lost my addidas trainers my favourite pair too ,2.0
2000,jamesyyy i have been  its been no good,2.0
2001,ackadia hahaha thats funny coffee is a drug and they dont have rehabs for that ,0.0
2002, hey there sunshine wish i could get tatted up ,2.0
2003,stephburdorff  its quothard ciderquot  haha next up ill introduce them to blue moon amp oj ,0.0
2004,im feeling like this could be it again ive been in and out of depression for a lot of my life and happily away from it for the last year and a half or so  recently i felt like it was coming back i started sleeping too much again i started struggling with liking myself asking whether i even have a personality if people even like me what im even doing in life  im getting thoughts again about killing myself its been a long time since i actually started picturing it and thinking about it and none of my learned deterrents are working,3.0
2005,robin starts to develop a way of quotspeechquot very funny ,0.0
2006,working i have ripped jeans   hour  minutes to go,2.0
2007,shopping for pants ugh that is a sure thing to make me feel fat  even though im fairly skinny,2.0
2008,getting ready for work so ill be leaving yall soon  who still has to go to bed,2.0
2009,abilify withdrawal symptoms hey everyonei went to another province for fun for an entire month in march quit my medication of abilify  cold turkey around the same time and started getting severe headaches vomiting nausea and other symptoms that mimic pregnancy im not pregnant went back to my hometown last month and i still experience really bad headaches dizziness occasionally and have puked three times this past month its not as bad as it was originally but i got bloodwork done and just saw my family doc today she said that my results were fine that its probably just withdrawal symptoms  anxiety being in a new province the thing is i was only consistently taking the medication for one almost two weeks  before that i would be really bad with it ive quit abilify cold turkey before with no withdrawal symptoms im just concerned that my doctor brushed me off because im youngso basically ive been apparently having withdrawal symptoms for  months now from a low dose that i wasnt on for a long time to me that seems like a stretch has anyone else experienced anything similar also i saw a walkin doc too and he thinks i might have anemia,3.0
2010,my life is a mess i just turned i went through a period of depression and have always been insecure i dealt with mental abuse from alcoholic parents and older siblings i have been living with my grand parentsmy parents and siblings broke me and made me feel less than my whole lifelast two years i turned my depression into aggression i worked  jobs for a solid two years i was able to save  in  years i did nothing but work to keep my mind off of myself it was tough but i knew i needed the money to better my lifenow that i have the money to move to miami i am looking to start a new life and be a bartenderhowever i feel too old i am a virgin and i am worried how to tell a guy guys tries to hit on me on the time but i am so insecure i have never new how to let anyone in i am ready now though but is there a way to lose my vagina so he wouldnt know,3.0
2011,signs and symptoms of depression · decreased energy chronic fatigued· httpsjacobspublisherscomjacobsjournalofdepressionandanxiety mood· lack of interest in enjoyable activities· insomnia and hypersomnia· slowing of movement· feelings of guilt and worthlessness· suicidal thoughts or behaviour· increase or decrease in appetite· changes in weight· oversleeping or difficulty sleeping waking early· pain aches cramps without any clear cause· sadness emptiness· helplessness· suicide attempts· feeling hopeless or pessimistic,3.0
2012,rt blvkinquisition my depression sis tried to beat my ass but still i rise ,2.0
2013,i cant wait  more days till happiness ,0.0
2014,lilo might be looking for a british best friend i wanted to be pariss but they said i was to young  boohoo,2.0
2015,happy birthday tonifad ,0.0
2016,i went to go check my phone for messages then i remembered i dont have a phone anymore ,2.0
2017,divascancook  prune juice we mix with some apple juice amp call it quotmagic juicequot its tough to go through tho ,2.0
2018,xxhazelxx   awwww bless what a beautiful and soo cuddley  x,0.0
2019,wish i could go to  this year  ,2.0
2020,for real people actually fucking suck i was sad about his passing and i told a friend and she literally said who ,0.0
2021,is taking a personal dayto wright papers ,2.0
2022,trentreznor  years wow congrats ,0.0
2023,dont kno y im awake rite now ,2.0
2024,its funny thinking about life and how it could have been i could of had a kid ,2.0
2025,zomberellamcfox  good,0.0
2026,going to the doctor soon were at the hospital on saturday because my heart beats very strange since  days so id better check that out ,2.0
2027,cocoy lots of articles to read and talagang totoo may gray area on how to amend our constitution that any tyrantwannabe  can exploit ,2.0
2028,mmm bbq chicken bbq fish bbq shrimp philipino garlic sweet peanuts doesnt get any better on a beautiful balcony ,0.0
2029,emma white kimberley baugh sarah robins im moving in with one of you  lol,0.0
2030,has applied for osap yet again god im gonna owe major  by the end of my academic career this just aint right ,2.0
2031,just eaten a rather nice chinese takeaway yum ,0.0
2032,i wish you didnt try to spare my feelings because eventually the show you were putting on for me would have to end i hate that youre such a people pleaser that you couldnt even tell me the truth i hate that even after i told you i had attachment issues you still twisted my feelings like that i hate that you told me im just a kid if im just a kid you shouldnt have initiated the relationship in the first place i would have been fine i wouldnt have this feeling of sadness in my chest when we spoke i wouldnt have this weird fucking crush that wont go away if you hadnt told me how you felt there is no situation where pursuing me with our age current difference would have been appropriate i was the child i was easily manipulated into thinking this adult cared about me when he couldnt care less so yeah fuck you blake ,3.0
2033,eat at vietnamese kitchen  ,0.0
2034,twopeasandpod totally cool  i think i might make your pb brownies instead ,0.0
2035,you know what i ate for dinner a brownie with frosting on it regretful ,2.0
2036,httpalmostat  cool and it looks like its based on objectivejcappuccino ,0.0
2037,markjaquith itd be my first believe it or not ,0.0
2038,how to deal with emotions ive been numbing myself for the last years but i cant anymore sometimes im feeling so many emotions its overwhelming me i dont know how to deal with themhow are you dealing with them what can i do to prevent meself from the overwhelming feeling,3.0
2039,flarfu shouldnt you be cleaning and not watching movies dad wouldnt even let me in the house yesterday    thanks for the mattress,2.0
2040,samiralove  bummer  we should go to vegas ive been wanting to go there,2.0
2041,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
2042,pink  flowery background  oh yeah,0.0
2043,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
2044,is drooling over amazing photography god i wishwill be this good one day ,0.0
2045,best move my asss off the sofa and get some work done only got a  day weekend this week yes im grabbing again ,2.0
2046,i dont want to say ive never been more sad in my life bc i have those times or moments but shit man the depression is reeeeeaal,1.0
2047,checking out battlefieldheroes beta version ,0.0
2048,rt mattnelson you can measure depression by how long washed and folded clothes stay on the end of your bed and not put away,2.0
2049,oh goshwhy am i even awake please ,2.0
2050,when to push yourself and when to take a break when im going through a bad depressive episode like now im trying to push through i push myself to take care of myself to go to work to do things and talk to people the problem is its so unbearably tiring and at some point the fabric of my reality starts tearing at the seams and i dont know whether i should push myself more or take a break and lean in for a while i wonder whats your experience and how do you know when to push through and when to let go,3.0
2051,but im still mad that stupid bret picked taya over mindy i mean come on taya is so freakin fakeeeeee  poor mindy,2.0
2052, midterms down now a paper and presentation ,2.0
2053,selenagomez selly im begging you please replay to me youll make my day please please  i love you sooooooo much,2.0
2054,do you ever wonder what people would say about you after youre gone if you committed suicide ive been noticing a lot of memorial type posts on facebook recently  people sharing posts remembering the good things nice memories etc with people who have died and its made me think about what people would saywould they say that i was smart kind troubled funny loved that it was a tragedy that i should have reached out for help that they wish they knew i was struggling will they care or say anything at alli think about what id want them to say all the things i need to hear so badly now no one ever says it until its too late,3.0
2055,im going to out to have taken pictures for my pass ,0.0
2056,quotto boldly go where no one has gone beforequot ,0.0
2057,i dont like bad dreams ,2.0
2058,meheartrihanna oh yeess shuuree so much fun  lol,0.0
2059,thinks he may have a very bad oil leak in his car ,2.0
2060,shoesforgeorgia aww  i love you babydwebs,2.0
2061,too depressed to eat ive never had this happen before not only can i barely pull myself out of bed to function like a normal human being i cant even eat i have absolutely  appetite sometimes i walk to the fridge and stare around for  minutes and think all this sounds like too much work im going back to sleepi havent eaten in  days,3.0
2062,haaa a lake would be nicebutunfortunatlywe live in el paso ,2.0
2063,happy mothers day  ,0.0
2064,rufus on kadunud  someone find my retarded kitty i failed,2.0
2065,boidyljc congratulations and other such things ,0.0
2066,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
2067,dannytrs you broke my heart ,2.0
2068,i drive everyone off im so convinced im a piece of shit that i try to convince others of it anyone who gets close is immediately subjected to my self pity in attempts to drive them off before they can get to know mei just wanna die the odds ill find others to connect with are so slim because i cant help pulling the pity party whenever i end up going out alone ,3.0
2069,amateur anxiety tendencies to autosabotage self destructive behaviour bitter grief,2.0
2070,hmm shoulder is making some bad noises if i move my arm back and forth i know dont do it fear a return to physio may be required ,2.0
2071, nvr thought a card would b soooo hard to pick  blah  y cant i find a generic blank one,2.0
2072,making some icons ,0.0
2073,kleinevos wow thats young ,2.0
2074,luvin the city for the day  ,0.0
2075,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
2076,rey left back to fthood for the army  but its good im still all smiles cause hell be back next weekend,2.0
2077,turbeauxboy wow welcome to the present dude   you clearly need to use zipties more often,0.0
2078,emblair doh i dont have any in the house ltsulkgt and the grocery store closed  minutes ago double thunk ,2.0
2079,fafaajzxc soper sad hahahahah,2.0
2080,rt cygarrillo hola ¿quieren hora sad 👀💔,2.0
2081,dchampen that is messed up man ,2.0
2082,my head hurts havent had caffeine yet ,2.0
2083,depressed and anxiousneed advise i have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life and so i usually know when i need help for itwhen it gets too hard for me to control my depression has been worse than usual the past three months and my anxiety has sparked up since i started my job about two weeks ago i work for a family member so i shouldnt feel a lot of pressure but i do i want him to be able to trust me and count on me to show up on time but right now my anxiety is so high from what happened last week at work and i am having a depressive episode that i dont know if i even want to go in today i honestly dont feel like i can live anymore like i cant even make a phone call by myself and i dont know how to do taxes and things that an average person my age should know how to do this is my first job and i already want to quit my depression and anxiety have been factors for making decisions for all of my life i am sick of living the way i do and want the pain to go away i have contemplated suicide before and each time i cant do it because of my family so i know thats not an option but like i really dont know what is i have gone to therapy off and on since  grade and when to a outpatient center when i was a sophomore like four years ago and each time it helps then i quit because i feel good and feel like its gone but it always comes back i feel like my family doesnt take it seriously like as if i want to live this way i feel like they are sick of me just cooped up in the house everyday which is why this job is important but i dont know if i am ready for a job the four times ive worked over the two weeks have just put so much stress but i know that thats life i am going to need a good job one day but i am scared i wont be able to because of depression and anxiety like i said earlier usually i am good at knowing when i need help but this time i dont like do i start therapy again although i know deep down it wont help in the long run so why waste the money do i go to an impatient center although i  hate being away from home like my mom has helped me with everything and i feel like if i tell her i am really depressed again she will just kind of be like i saw this coming not to my face but deep down like i feel like my family is just waiting for me to have another major depressive episodebreakdown i just feel hopeless and dont know what to do i know there may not be much advice to give with what i have provided you but if anyone has related this maybe they can share what they did in a time like this thank you,3.0
2084,also happy sunday to everyone of my tweet fam ,0.0
2085,kylangver im thinking elements i havent been in so long wanna go with me ,0.0
2086,i just cant relate to normal people on an emotional level i completely understand how sociability works and used to be pretty good at it but these days im just so far gone people want to be excited and energetic and happy i get that but i just cant bring that to the table for them not because i dont want to or cant but due to the fact that i no longer operate emotionally on that level as normal people i just dont care about things anymore and i cant just decide to and change it just doesnt work like that if theres awkward vibes i dont care if everyone is sad i dont care if everyone is happy i dont care the only real reaction i have to others emotions is stress and irritation these days its not that i really want to feel this way i dont know its a strange apathy thats hard to explain im afraid ill always be alienated because of it ,3.0
2087,rt vrisycha my deep condolences for tae amp his family i know this is not easy but dont dissolve in sadness if u continue to sad then ur g,1.0
2088,listening to human by jon mclaughlin ,0.0
2089,depressed and lost my life has been going to shit for a while but lately it feels overwhelming i have a thyroid problem but no insurance because i cant afford it i lost my so of almost  years and had to move back in with my parents i cant find a job with any stability much less benefits im in a mountain of debt that i cant get out of i cant talk about it because my best friend says go get help but where how with what money i cant talk about it with my mother because her solution is to tell me god doesnt give us more than we can handle i cant handle it anymore today i even asked to speak to her i figured i could just tell her to not say anything while i spewed my feelings and she said my father was around so she wasnt sure she could talk if i was a aunt she could if it was church related she could but me oh no not me ,3.0
2090,  skinny minny i love this jacket its a one off i had made for me ,0.0
2091,i want some advice all my life ive been going through shit only  years old and when things started to get better i crashed i cant get myself to get out of bed no matter how much i try my family understands but do still not approve since my grades dropped from all as to ec it has been like this for  years now and none of my friends understands how its like i cant really blame them either since i dont like talking about it and ive always been taught to be a man and keep this stuff to myself they just see a lazy fuck who is too irresponsible to go too school same with my teachers idk if typing here is going to help at all but if anyone has some tipsadvice on how to get motivated again i would be super happy,3.0
2092,fresh start  a new fabulous daydont look back  yesterdaydont dwell on  now amp what u have ,0.0
2093,still not at home ,2.0
2094,yessssss finally i get to rage tonight   come out ash,0.0
2095,i just dented the car and it was lovely ,0.0
2096,mileycyrus miley im brazilian and i love you you and selena are friends i love selena and you ,0.0
2097,rebeccalokheart ,2.0
2098,nicksantino i like how youre replying to people now  keep it up ,0.0
2099,faerytales thanks ,0.0
2100,gloriene a scratch mark filled in with leopard print on my left shoulder blade  amp a peacock on my right upper arm,0.0
2101,im on work its so boring   ,2.0
2102,omg im going to the kings of lyon consert at the  tonight    unfortunatly its after my english tuition ,0.0
2103,still in miami on my way    do a interview all my ppls in da  tune in  ,0.0
2104,love date nights with hubby ,0.0
2105,hollywoodron i cant watch video on my phone ,2.0
2106,phoneless and sad the iphone upgrade ate my sim card ,2.0
2107,and i only got till  wednesday night cause then recording finishes ,2.0
2108,such a tough decision on sytycd tonight ,2.0
2109,abiajmehar im looking for more ppl toomost of the ppl i follow arent on as much ,2.0
2110,and im pissed no nothing personal shirts ,2.0
2111,mitchtwiz happy birthday i wish upon you cake lots n lots of cake ,0.0
2112,healingmb very sad but often true 😕,2.0
2113,geoffhampton   thank you soooo much      bella,0.0
2114,left the party hours ago but im still out i am so tired  ltbrian leegt,2.0
2115,ah just took a shower freshhampclean still smell like a hospital bed  i dont know is that natural,2.0
2116,im off to the garden  having a cool drink and sitting in the sun to get some color on my white skin ,0.0
2117,billoddie stangely enough she does have a bell around her neck ,0.0
2118,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
2119,i dont know what to do as the title says i dont know what to do anymore im tired of living tired of having panic attacks tired of feeling like shit my low selfesteem is getting the best of me those funny jokes about me that come from my friends are hurting me but at the same time i know that what they say is true im stupid i have a feeling that the compliments i receive are just a petty so that i wont feel bad about myself and when i confront them they say that what they mean is true i hate lies i hate living like this why cant i just live like everyone else i have everything a loving family friends its been months since ive thought about killing myself just thinking about cutting my veins is causing some sort of pain in my wrists i dont know what to do seeking help feels like a waste of time and money,3.0
2120,rt lucldity me when i was  depression isnt a joke its serious  fuck you me now hey who wants to bet on when im gonna kill m,2.0
2121,has a headache  and practice this morning at  ugh so tired,2.0
2122,waiting ,2.0
2123,second time this week ive put a loaded gun to my head ive always had depression and suicidial ideation i started having compulsive thoughts of killing myself multiple times a day a few years ago it comes in waves but ive never been so close to doing it as cocking my pistol and putting it to my head i feel like the downward spiral ive been on is speeding up and im going to end up taking my own life soonidek why im posting this ,3.0
2124,brittanybionic shut up no you not byue ,2.0
2125,jeremypiven hope you raise lots of money  very bummed that im not going ,2.0
2126,msnessa lol i hear u follow me im following u ,0.0
2127,starting to dread graduation friday  i dont want to tell you goodbye,2.0
2128,despederata when i go to qi mantra i usually go for the full body massage you a massage junkie too ,0.0
2129,jaceyjaden whoa hahaha wee going there in a bit just watching hugh jackmans interview at oprah ,0.0
2130,i miss doing into the woods ,2.0
2131,the worst thing that can happen to u is that ur bro gets u a ndslite which has japanese games in it have no clue how to make it work ,2.0
2132,i feel overwhelmingly empty and depressed anytime im not working or preoccupied when i feel lonely i usually smoke which gets me hungry which causes me to overeat which makes me want to throw up if i do i sit and loathe myself and just feel so worthless and empty i have no one to talk to and nothing makes me feel better anytime i try to distract myself when im not working i get so tired of anything so easily and just do nothing but feel empty i hate the way i feel,3.0
2133,i finally cleaned my room this is my first post ive been lurking ive had depression and anxiety since i was eight years old trauma based im twentyone now im really good at hiding it once i got past the mood swings and outbursts and all that other stuff in high school i have my highs and lows this past month i really hit a low ive been going to classes and saying im fine ive been letting it manifest by not taking care of myself all alone in college its easy to hide skipping meals almost exclusively eating takeout my room was a fucking mess seven cups from the kitchen nine takeout containers six plates and just a shit ton of trash and laundry im so embarrassed and ashamedgetting rid of the trash and laundry is easy how the hell do i explain why theres suddenly so much in the dishwasher that ive been so depressed i havent been cooking and too anxious and ashamed of my takeout and eating habits that ive been eating in my room i cant im hiding it all until this weekend when theyll be gone but its progress ive washed my sheets and all my clothes things are put away and then i just have to sneak the trash and dishes out when theyre gone i know that doesnt sound healthy but how do i carry it all out when they are hanging out in the living room they dont know what its been like because im so damn good at hiding at it i cleaned my room though and i feel a little better it feels good even though i dont feel like eating or cooking or much of anything i still cleaned my room and ill take it as a win,3.0
2134,my chest is full i want to talk to someone without getting judged and they listen deep and advice too,3.0
2135,frankievizzle its a perfect delicious snackmmm yummy ,0.0
2136,have got hickups and feels  cos my granddad is giving up on life,2.0
2137,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
2138,starting to work on my resume joy need some goji berry  its great iced,0.0
2139, i hate when you watch movies without me ,2.0
2140,deshayjuban from schools and what could be extremely benificial to someone with anxietyadhautism isnt an option ,2.0
2141,working on north boston fire company hall dedicationribboncutting pics  theyre sharper than i expected them to be ,0.0
2142,done with math homework monster fell asleep on me  txt me im lonely,2.0
2143,annejsimmons just the mother of all bad days ,2.0
2144,i really need to just let it all out i literally have no one who cares about me im a failure and a disgrace to my family and all of my friends dont like me all that much im struggling so much in life and i have no one to talk to at all so ill just post this big wall of text here honestly i dont really care if nobody reads this it just feels really cathartic to finally have a place to write about my problems ive struggled with depression for over a year its not all that long compared to many others but im still a high school student so one year is really long to me sometimes i think that everything will get better when i have break and i can be happy and do things i enjoy but thats never the case i dont enjoy anything anymore besides eating more on that laterim chinese and there is a very strong chinese community in my school and area my parents pressure me so much to do well in school and get into harvard like my older sister and everyone else in the asian community but sometimes its just so difficult for me to do anything despite this every day i have so much anxiety because i know when senior year comes around and i get rejected from every university i apply to not only will my parents be very disappointed but the whole asian community will also look down on me and judge me i also have general anxiety problems undiagnosed most of the time i feel like im gonna die in addition to that i also have social anxiety problems when i was really young i attended a program at my school for socially delayed students and i went to therapy sessions with my mom in second grade to combat my antisocial tendencies im afraid every day of facing the immense stress and pressure in school but im also afraid that one of my friends will say something to me and i wont be able to answer and theyll hate me even more than they already do its really stupid sometimes how i really want to have friends but then im afraid of talking to peoplea side effect of my anxiety is something called derealization which is basically just feeling as if youre in a dream i feel like i have no control over my actions and have trouble focusing i can see colors but everything just seems really dull to me and i dont really feel like the colors are there even though i can see them when people talk to me when im in this state of derealization i can never understand what theyre saying my emotions are all muted its really difficult because my symptoms are worst at nighttime and thats usually when i have to do homework since a few months ago ive suffered with eating disorder behaviors again not officially diagnosed but what i would strongly believe to be bulimia it all started when my ex broke up with me i tried to make big health changes in my life running a lot every day eating a highly restrictive diet all of a sudden i believed that i would be healthier if i adopted these changes immediately and it would help me recover from my grief i eventually fell into a bingepurge cycle which i havent been able to stop since i love to eat so much and im almost always hungry but im afraid of eating too much food and unhealthy foods which would lead to weight gain im already really fat and desperately need to lose weight so others will accept me more and i can be more confident sometimes i feel like i make up all these problems i feel like i want to be sick and have an eating disorder my dad believes that depression is simply a bad attitude toward life that can be changed with simple reflection and reevaluation and having grown up under him i seem to have internalized those beliefs i feel like this is all my fault and i could change it if i really wanted to ive tried really hard to stop binging and purging but also feel as if i didnt try hard at all because the problem isnt solved again sorry for the big wall of text it does feel pretty cathartic to be able to communicate my problems somewhere now i have to finish my latin project and prepare for my italian presentation ,3.0
2145,flomiley haha yeep  i love watch icarly haha i can do it all daay ,0.0
2146,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
2147,im missing kevin smith and mewes in brantford right now  fml,2.0
2148,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
2149,justmk remember i cant ,0.0
2150,it helps with anxiety and insomnia,2.0
2151,a journey into my mind on this account i am going to finally get everything that lingers in my tormented in my mind for the world to see i need it to spill out of my brain as i cannot bear the fight again these thoughts anymorei want to be able to tell yall everything so i guess follow my page and maybe we see where this goes it might get dark or strange so you have been cautioned ,3.0
2152,watchingg twilightt in the car on the way to the church ,0.0
2153,our assignment in science is so hard its killing me ,2.0
2154,almost  am hubby still at hospital they just gave another shot if cant get obstruction out they will go in with scope in the morn ,2.0
2155,i am making my twitter like  and um chatting at some schmexi peoples ,0.0
2156,why must it rain on the weekendsafter being stuck in an office all week the last thing i want is to be stuck indoors on my days off ,2.0
2157,aircrash oh that episode makes me cry ,2.0
2158,mileycyrus i voted for you  i love you amp ill vote everyday,0.0
2159,bigmikeyp i havent been ontop of the latest dlc lately been up and down to london as well as doing extra hours in work  slacker ,2.0
2160,the lost boys just came onlove this moviegoing to rest nowlater ,0.0
2161,i cant believe i missed the aaron carter phone  craziness ,2.0
2162,crystalchappell are you drunk tweeting tonight cc ,0.0
2163,rogueleader hmmm i also have issues with our cricket team  arrogant bunch and dont get me started on wricky  ,0.0
2164,always get scared when zoo randomly calls me gets me anxiety idk what this shit could be about,2.0
2165,kimioko  sigh me and the  will mourn your loss,2.0
2166,not sure if i have ptsddepression how do i know if im fucked in the head like the rest any help would be good,3.0
2167,kings of leon toniiiiiiiiittteeee aiii  with megland imogentaylor sach peter and stefan,0.0
2168,justinmj so fucking adorable not like that cunttease of a ringleader you work with  httpbitlylxydy,0.0
2169,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
2170,beckyxx thank you hugs it went okay pretty good actually i think only only  left now ,0.0
2171,this is awful what the human race doesnt do   ,2.0
2172,grabing a big thing of starbucks i am tired and need a bit of energy if i want to make it thru the day thank god for extra shots  ,0.0
2173,depressed due to loneliness ive had my ups and downs with depression for a couple years now ive noticed that the feeling of loneliness makes me really depressed im not a introvert at heart but have slowly moved towards being one so its not hard to meet people or make friends my family usually likes to talk to me and show love but that is not the issue though i tend to distance myself from those in my life cause i can rarely find anyone i can truly relate with im currently  and attending a university i enjoy learning but hate what is seen as success today personally would kill myself if i had to choose a career path and deal with that bullshit i have my own dreams and ill be damned if im not honest about my passions yet im thrown shade my ex and others were upset that im not complacent about the current system its shown me people care about positions in society that can be reached and not about price a person has to pay for it emotionally i either dont discuss topics about my future or lie so i can keep to myself also recently was diagnosed with adhd but it feels more like a label with a script this world seems so plastic i just want to be happy at the point where id rather just get high and chillout but cant cause ive got bills and classes at the moment so far crying and music help a little the main reason i havent killed myself is because i dont want my selfish actions to cause others grief,3.0
2174,why do i feel this way i hate myself i hate what i look like i hate what i sound like suicide is an option for me but i wouldnt consider myself suicidal or depressed often i feel awkward in situations and later that night cry and think about how much of a irrelevant piece of trash ive always been my dad and everyone around me has always called me lazy and said ill never amount to anythingand honestly its true ive recently tried affirmation videos online and thinking of all of that stuff being true makes me happy but often times it only make me sad afterwards thinking about how none of it is true and im pathetic for relying on stupid videos to make me happysometimes i cant even tell who i am from a young age ive been taught to be who people want me to to act different around people and that who i am is somebody i should be ashamed of and ive spent so long trying to be who people want i sometimes cant tell if my emotions are real if im actually crying out of sadness or if im just crying because i think im supposed to i dont think im depressed but often i feel like life isnt worth it i dont wanna be old and miserable reflecting on things i did when i was young and regretting not doing what i thought was right and i feel like persuing something more is stupid and its just gonna be dissapointing when i realize everything my dad says is true im a dumb lazy fuck who isnt gonna amount to anythingi cringe when i look at my reflection and honestly i wish i was never born suicide is an option but i dont consider myself suicidalim sad a lot but i dont think im depressedi dont know who i amand i cant differentiate between my persona and my real feelingsi feel like im a passenger in somebody elses body somebody im disgusted byi feel awkward in social situations but i dont believe im socially awkwardi want to be who i wanna be but i feel like something is fighting against mei block out happiness because im scared it will give way to more paini dont want to care about others because nobody seems to have ever cared about me beyond their obligationsi dont think ill kill myself but if i did nobody would actually care about my death beyond their own consciencnesss obligationsim always angry and rarely feel genuine happinessi feel like all ill ever feel is pain and happiness is impossible to sustaini wonder if all these feelings are genuine or if im just water adapting to my environment  if im just pretending but it all feels reali dont understand whats real or not i cant even tell if people are lying or telling the truth i dont know whats real anymorei distrust people and often feel like theyre plotting on ways to hurt me but i dont think im paranoid ive just been hurt too many times by people i trustwhy do i feel like this,3.0
2175,what do you guys do to cope not sure if this belongs heretw self harm addictioni have depression its been like this for as long as ive known myself some days its small then on days like this it hurts alot my heart hurts and its like im losing my shiti started my coping with daydreaming then poetry then prose then art then venting then hypersexuality then antisexuality then comfortattention seekingin high school it was a unbearable to the point id be shallow cutting myself on my leg in the back of the class i poked myself with small sharp scissors today just to take the edge off of how shitty i felt not to draw blood but just to hurti dont really want to do that any more im at my wits end and dont really want to turn to drugs weededibles or alcohol etc to cope i have an addictive personalitysome healthy pointers or ideas would help,3.0
2176,im so over it im so over everything im sick of getting stressed out of my mind over not having time to do anything im life freaking sucks right now i feel like no one cares i want to see my therapist but my mom wont let me overcome it by yourself she says i just wallow in self pity these days i cant take it anymore im so freaking sad,3.0
2177,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
2178,is stressingim being laid off in  weekzthat sux  now i have  pull ei so much for going to tha mountainz in july ,2.0
2179,zetas jacksonwages actionjay tuxotaku jackawful  drandolph  thanks for your kind wishesbut man what a bad day ,2.0
2180,i didnt ask for money or a mansion in malibou i simply wished for one more day with you ,2.0
2181,my collar bones are sooooo crookedbut no one else can see it but me  i wish they protruded more,2.0
2182,mattalmodiel you pass philly to go to jersey nigga bring me back some   lol,0.0
2183,grrlaction im asking myself the same thing  i fully expected to sleep till noon today and was up at  ,2.0
2184,linnermb hahaha  it wass xd,0.0
2185,que cara de sueño más bonita ,0.0
2186,still have some kind of bug hope its gone bye tommorow so ya pretty much feeling like crap ,2.0
2187,eating buttery popcorn while on the computer not so smart ,0.0
2188,irenebarts i just didnt like the ending it was so heartbreaking ,2.0
2189,to my youth to my youth is actually a korean song performed by  and the lyrics somehow helped me  i hope it can help anyone here too  everyone is going through something that were just not aware of fighting their own silent battles same with me i was on a verge of giving up  but i still held onit was never easy especially if you have yourself going against you but whatever happens  never give up promise yourself i can see a strong person and even if all you did today was to survive im really proud of you    keep fighting the good fight and always remember you can be a bright light in this world   good luck d ,3.0
2190,purekatherine one of these days we all need to have a reading in the park quotpartyquot ,0.0
2191,first day of class check find a job no check ,2.0
2192,slept the whole day  hour round trip  epic rain the whole way    now the hangover,2.0
2193,is saying helllloooow ,0.0
2194,hopes to have a good sleep tonight no more insomnia ,2.0
2195,finally its over now for scrubs ,0.0
2196,i totally effed my midterm ,2.0
2197,cant sleep  what is goinngg onn with me im suposed to be extremly tired but im not ,2.0
2198, feeling sad and alone today more than usual,3.0
2199,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
2200,celinapineda why  ,2.0
2201,i dont really know who i can go to i dont really trust my friends and i dont have many its been a tiring day or maybe a tiring weekend i feel so helpless cos im unable to help my so or myself i cant stop crying and my chest hurts really badly i havent eaten anything and i know i should but i cant seem to bring myself to do it i feel like a terrible person for the events that happened the past two days i hate myself and i really just want to disappear,3.0
2202,cazarrbiz   doesnt sound like a fun day,2.0
2203,aaroninyork  uhhh like never cuz i cldnt sleep  i played with my ipod,2.0
2204,wee how was everyone doing  ,0.0
2205,waiting for doctors clinic to open cold has developed into something worse feels like my lungs are being squeezed by barbed wire ,2.0
2206,waiting  my roommate  bring my food backim hungry den ayeah i nedd  eat  i start my diet and workoutz ,2.0
2207,is full of a bloomin cold  xx,2.0
2208,now when i click download im just getting a blank page ,2.0
2209,i completely lost hope i have to start off by stating that its no ones fault in fact its all mine for seeing the world without color people tell me about how beautiful and full of life the world is but i dont see it i would give anything to change my point of view i would give anything to see the color that people describe but everything is worthless im worthless i never had or will offer anything to the world i dont deserve anything not even a funeral throw my ashes in any fucking river it does not matter i feel like my conscience is slowly rotting i dont recognize myself i feel like my soul doesnt belong in a body that image in the mirror isnt me its not that i hate the way i look it more about not accepting that im in this world whenever i look at my hands i question if theyre even mine my search for my selfidentity is useless i dont know who i am whenever people look into my eyes do they notice the glare of an empty individual can they sense my solitude most days my thoughts are preventing me from doing anything i lost interest in everything nothing brings me joy i use to love to express myself through art writing and music i always found things in the dark but i never knew how dangerous it was all i want to do now is sleep eternally im not afraid of death i feel like the only thing i deserve is the sweet release of death i will escape from everything and most importantly myself i tried getting help for almost a year now i feel like its not working the medication invades me but never does anything i expect it to work but all i hear is that i need more and more i started off with  and now were are at  i completely lost hope,3.0
2210,realjenn good luck ,0.0
2211,pissed off major anxiety no one to talk to cool just what i fuckong needed rn,1.0
2212,ujm   where im not sure i can check it right now though as i need to try and sleep some more,0.0
2213,prisalncess hhahahhahhaahahaha pacarku lampard dong dari chelsea ya paling cuma pengen liat mukanya doang ,0.0
2214,cant stand looking at the news even online we live in a sad morally screwed up placed ,2.0
2215,i am sooo tired ive had a long week and my feet hurt my son has surgery this monday so im sad ,2.0
2216,captainannoying oh yeah can you imagine that moron in the senate holy hell and crist is a rino not sure which  is worse ,2.0
2217,bad day doing my best to be numb unconscious and not dead however much i want to be wish i had more friends,3.0
2218,yay weekend too bad dave is working all weekend ,2.0
2219,is feeling fedup ,2.0
2220,just watched the new moon trailerloved it  i am a twilight nerd ,0.0
2221,chrismdotcom we should all organize a tweet party ,0.0
2222,had a great dayim off to bed ,0.0
2223,my boyfriend  has been suffering from severe depression since his teens how can i be there for him he is refusing any kind of professional help as the therapies and medication he has tried over the years did not help he has recently mentioned things like i hate my life and it would all be easier if i were gone which worries me a lot what can i do he assured me that he would tell me and give us the chance to say bye before he would take his life so i dont think he is going to harm himself without telling me first,3.0
2224,dannygokey danny you moved up to  tell everyone to keep voting its working ,0.0
2225,taoster thats why yall gotta do with the azns do and stick it in your glove compartment always gotta have the paul oakenfold bumpin ,2.0
2226,i dont wanna go back to work tomorrow   gotta wait til july  for my next week off booooooooo,2.0
2227,rt  fuck you ,1.0
2228,bonitalibre alexisbianchii maddyyburkee httpstcofibnqahorn,2.0
2229,playing basket with my couisns ,0.0
2230,i cried few minutes ago  i couldnt control my tears   i feel i am sentimental     ,2.0
2231,should i submit to a  hour hold i guess this is more along the lines of would it help the couple of people that i know who have been on a  hour hold described a miserable experience that made their depression even worseive been off my anti depressants for a while now because i dont have the money for a trip to my psychiatrist for a refill my therapy has been inconsistent for the last  months and my life in these past  months has been hell last night i seriously contemplated killing myself the only thing that stopped me was not having the means to do so i know i need help but im scared getting help will make things worse,3.0
2232,rt cheyebar suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem u will get past this keep trucking on plsamp think of all the hearts t,2.0
2233,rt tolusaba in my very limited time doing business i have realized that its the people who pay you the least that stress you the most,2.0
2234,well ive been shot down again and im not sure there is a second hope for this one ,2.0
2235,wrote physics to day it sucked soo much yeah just  test left  when does this school year finally end,2.0
2236,twigtwinejute it means ice cream day fooool ,0.0
2237,ceothomas i tried but i couldnt find it ,2.0
2238, lucky you i was a blonde xd ,2.0
2239,anusinspector i have monday and wednesday ,2.0
2240,rt  it is so sad that all human beings do not want a more equal world for everyone the ideology of last  years hasnt wo,1.0
2241,jayevalentine i give up here so not thrilled with this publisher esp after my cover fiasco and editing issues ,2.0
2242,wants to make a film over the summer possibly a rock opera movie or a horror film dont know where to get cast and help from though ,2.0
2243,packing i have boxes all over my room half full   days to go,2.0
2244,grrr lovely sunny day againfirst off to enjoy the sun and im stuck in uni right now  boring ,2.0
2245,should finally finish my sxsw reviews get my photos up from belfast edinburgh amp glasgow amp a million other things but must wait again ,2.0
2246,my best friendcrush now lives hours away  m so the title pretty much says it all but i will try and add as much detail as i can shes been living with her brother for around  however he was getting too stressed from her and kicked her out to live with relatives her parents are currently traveling the country        if you need any other info id be glad to give as much as i can ,3.0
2247,i have to pick between news paper amp chamber choir next year ,2.0
2248,idk nan molla,1.0
2249,cant wait for all the jr hi jv and varsity playoff hockey games tomorrow not sure if ill go to all of them but ill try my best ,0.0
2250,going to the mall with my momma ,0.0
2251,one of a kind gorgeous delicate sweater  httpbitlydxjgl,0.0
2252,hiii  darren   ,1.0
2253,i need a pedicure does anyone want to go get their feeties fondled with me ,0.0
2254,i am never ever sticking a buncha strawberries and blueberries up my butt on cam ever again im still paying  it today ,2.0
2255,i should have a mobile browser showdown coming soon on cnet including skyfire davidgilson  till then im just an opera lover ,0.0
2256,operian ya hamachi is vpn system if u r  u can see my dsktp ill buy cam most probably in julyafter exam i have bolt dvdrip ,0.0
2257,just got out of a long meeting time to catch up on my twitternews ,0.0
2258,hanxcartwright hellz yeahhhh ,0.0
2259,how to be a better person after accepting youre a bad person i feel like theres a certain point where youve convinced yourself youve gone far enough that if you were honest about the worst youve done youd be considered a bad person by anybody no matter how much you change at that point it feels like you are just lying to everybody or its not even worth trying to improve anymoreive already accepted im a bad person however that does not mean i am not capable of committing good acts and making good people around me happy going forward its just hard to motivate myself to do this knowing i dont really feel like i ever deserve to be happyit feels like i should stop being selfish and take better care of the people i love even if its all just an act even if its not sustainablesometimes i think i should tell people how bad i really am so they stop caring about me and move on but i know in reality it wont work that way without causing a lot of harm in the process,3.0
2260,rt khayadlanga according to a dr friend depression is increasing globally by  it will be  most common reason for occupational di,0.0
2261,have a listen to our music on mixposure a great place to see some fantastic reviews  ,0.0
2262,i got to talk to my austin today  well yesterday,0.0
2263, sorry your having a few sucky dayshope the black cloud moves away soon  positive thoughts for a brighter tomorrow ,0.0
2264,off to cut the grass ,2.0
2265,rt  school hasnt started yet but my stress has,2.0
2266,danderma cooooolgo show tht cafeteria lady and tell her this is the way to make it ,0.0
2267,sings you the fckin best best i ever had u aint gotta ask twice u can have my  or we can share it like the last slice ,0.0
2268,wondering should i keep this twitter thing up  ,0.0
2269,rt ndemma still cant tell if the tears in my eyes are from the allergies or the depression httpstcohdcpgxqieu,2.0
2270,i feel so invisible and plain nobody notices i exist cars merge into my lane and almost hit me my appointments get forgotten about my boss doesnt like me because we have different personalities and i dont kiss their ass so they treat me less than people look at me and think im just a thin boring ugly girl the only trait that i use to my advantage is my self deprecating humor because i cant joke about anything other than how miserable my life is i know my pain is funny to everyone else im always the backup plan in any friend group i accidentally join i dont even want friends ive never had a friendship that didnt end up being a pain in the fucking ass to manage i love my boyfriend dearly but im not good enough for him i will never be good enough for anyone i cant even stand up for myself without crying theres nothing i like about myself no matter how hard i try to self love or find personality traits about me that could be admirable to others i instantly snap back to reality i wish this wasnt my skin im ashamed to be the person i am im worthless and too weak for life it feels like a contest and im not fast enough to keep up,3.0
2271,depression and anxiety tips hi guys so ive always struggled with mental health issues but i decided to step out my comfort zone and wanted to know what you guys have done to better your own mental health just trying to learn more from others id appreciate the help,3.0
2272,the only person you can trust to a hundred percent is you i feel like even if people are trustworthy and theyre nice and kind at the end of the day you can just trust yourself so i rather write my stuff down instead of talking to people about my deepest insecurities ,3.0
2273,kickin bakneed  do my hwi miss u babe  lolz,0.0
2274,hanabobana haha sweet  sounds fun  ive never quotclimbedquot before only rappelled   maybe ill try sometime soon in boulder,2.0
2275,blissfulmommy me too  that is no good,2.0
2276,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
2277,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,1.0
2278,ukfunster well actually its no bloody warmer just no snow ,0.0
2279,im not okay ive created this facade of having a normal life for a girl in university but the truth is my depression has only ever been barely manageable and i feel an episode coming on again im so burnt out just trying to do enough to satisfy the minimum requirements of being a functional adult and decent student and the more depressive episodes i go through the more i realize ill never accomplish anything substantial or have lasting happiness ill always be just barely getting by at besti live alone i really have no one in the world that wouldnt be better off without someone like me weighing them down i just want to give up on life,3.0
2280,andrewdearling yawns ,0.0
2281,ddlovato sorry the more i am brazilian insistence not quit haha please see   pleeeaseee ,2.0
2282,luckyjack  hehe and she didnt reply   but hemmingway did       i have  great balls huh,0.0
2283, mmmsounds ono plus craving lychee syrup right about now ,0.0
2284,diabolicalrushh good luck kay   ew i have alot of homework too l,0.0
2285,im just a tired student im a struggling student just like millions others i spend hours laboring on the computer for an essay i fuss over points taken off exams for stupid mistakes and i always carry  pens in my pencil case i have a passion for medicine and biochemistry and fell in love with the beautiful formulas some years back i dont think my bio teacher shares the same enthusiasm i have and he seems to constantly ignore my efforts because im not as smart or outstanding as the other students i swear they know i signed a waiver to get it had to work extra hard because i didnt take chemistry and i feel like he thinks hes wasting his efforts on me i know i probably shouldnt care about other peoples opinion so much but this is the first time anyone in my life has the scope of knowledge that i so desperately desired and every time i walk into that class i feel like eyes are on me and laughing at my incompetency i worked hard and tried to make friends with people but they just seem to ignore me i worked really hard to impress but i think its my weird demeanor never learned how to socially interact as a child and some other incidents involving my phone i thought i had to hitch a ride home because my moms evening was booked turns out someone told on the teacher and i got a  for an exam i prepared all night for and everything else just adding to my unlikableness growing up people always told me if you work hard and put your mind to it you can achieve anything but was i not working hard enough was i not nice enough didnt i smile and greet them properly not volunteer to clean up the classroom enough times why is it that some students in that class got away with slacking off i know they are because they were always making plans to hang out during the week and weekend and he really seems to like them because they are just smarter how much is trying too hard and when should i give up,3.0
2286,ok i dnt like bebo any more the delay to put it on my bebo page is ages it still hasnt come up ,2.0
2287,thecerebralceo dang u gettn it in huh wat was the drink u made  stay awake um im not goin in til later on  got a hangova ,2.0
2288,off to practice have to prove i deserve my spot in the varsity boat today  wish me luck,0.0
2289,joelmadden sounds good ,0.0
2290,whitening my teeth burns ,2.0
2291,just started reading dead and gone love it ,0.0
2292,victorcajiao i think i will do that first pay for one month and will see if i will stay a member have already so many subscriptions ,0.0
2293,emclev welcome home ,0.0
2294,my promise ring is chipping    top is still primo ,2.0
2295,michelobultra let me know when you hit update  ,0.0
2296,mileycyrus   i really realy want your eyes ,0.0
2297,soooo tomorrow should be eventful nice fail in maths in store for me byeeee sweet dreams  ps i miss you  x,2.0
2298,rickypaull whats wrong ,0.0
2299,dinner party with new roommates was fantastic i also love that they are into dinner parties ,0.0
2300,rt wndertrev broo rocket literally lost everything holy sht im sad over the life of a cgi raccoon now httpstcogpyxqbmwvm,2.0
2301,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
2302,damn tooth ache ,2.0
2303,all the reasons why i hate myself  unable to produce anything of creative value to anyone most of the time even myself cant hold a conversation with anyone i dont already know unable to form lasting and meaningful relationships with people outside of my family when i get drunk i consistently make a fool of myself i get drunk to forget about how much i hate myself when i wake up from a night where i blacked out i hate myself even more unable to manage money well unable to eat healthy on a consistent basis because of not being able to manage money even the person that said they love me for everything i am good and bad and would stay with me until i die decided to leave me for better people cant get over that ex leaving me its been two years cant clean my apartment or take care of myself because of my depression subsequently spend almost every minuet im not at work locked inside my apartment my teeth are falling out of my head because of not taking care of my teeth when i was younger that gave me halitosis so im constantly battling bad breath i dont even have a car at  i live alone in a one bedroom apartment i have one friend and hes from middle school i used to bully this one and only friend every girl that i meet just decides to stop talking to me after meeting me for the first time i put on a mask of happiness everyday but beneath it im falling apart inside the only person that i truly want to see again is dead and i fear that its partially my fault crooked teeth facial scars generally unattractive was told that i could get any girl when my ex left me just objectively untrue but i believed her at the time the boldfaced rejection that i had to handle made me fear interactions with anyone of the opposite sex even when i do go out to a hardcore show or something i feel so out of place that i just end up leaving i suck at having good attendance at my job because my depression makes it nearly unbearable to get out of bed in the morning if it werent for nepotism i probably wouldnt even have a job everyone in my family is doing far better than me in every regard and i feel like i just keep falling behind the logical side of my brain doesnt allow me to accept any religion but i want to just because i think it would make me feel better but i wont everything that i have made creatively either involves the death of my mother or my ex leaving me ive tried to make other things but they fall flat or they end up finding a way to be about those things i still sleep on the bed with the same sheets that i shared with my ex even though huge parts of me doesnt want to even on a family vacation i couldnt stop being fucking sad all the time all i could think about is how much my ex and i talked about going to a place like that together even though i try my best to change the things that i can i often dont see any results and it makes me just want to give up and accept that this is likely how things will be for the rest of my life i contemplate suicide but i would never do it because im a coward and i wouldnt want to do that to my family because of the supposed love for me even though often it doesnt seem like theyve had an ounce of empathy for me since i moved out at i wish i could commit suicide or just be taken by death while im sleeping ,3.0
2304,im not sure what to do let me start off by saying that im severely depressed and ive dealt with it for around  years now it drags me down everyday i dont want to tell my story but im gonna cut to the point my girlfriend is an alcoholic and shes looking for happiness in everything but me im trying to really help her and be there for her she gets way to drunk and texts guys and looks for sympathy from other people ever since weve met i knew she was the one and ive gone sober for her since we started dating for not only my sake but mostly hers because i knew what i was getting myself into ive spent lots of time and money fixing my life and creating a comfort pillow for her all i can do is stand here and give her the world while shes looking for something else im so sweet to her and nothing she does could ever hurt me but i feel im hurting myself by putting my heart out there and shes basically throwing it away i love her with every cell in my body and i know im good enough but i cant seem to compete with her addiction she sees a psychiatrist and takes meds regularly i just keep doing thing after thing for her and i dont know how to make her realize im good enough im so heartbroken over this but i would never let her know this because it would make her feel even more bad about herself i really love this girl but im not sure what to do for her anymore ive also learned from past relationships that when someone is hurt that you only focus on them and helping them its not a toxic environment for heri mean as in i dont contribute to it but i know it is for me im gentle with her about everything i say and i realize even one word could drive her off the edge i would never leave her and i have no intent to if anyone can give me advice that would be greatly appreciated thanks ,3.0
2305,just got done watching empire records    ,0.0
2306,just had one of the busiest nights of my life in the peds icuim so tired nowneed to sleep cos im back again tonight ,2.0
2307,an ode ive spent a lot of time on this sub late nights reading new posts pming people sometimes no one replies sometimes theres a little dialogue and then they disappeara lot of people disappear i think very soon i will too though i tell people having everything you need and still feeling like shit is fine its so hard to believe it myself you know do as i say not as i do its so easy to come up with excuses comparisons circumstances that makes you an exception to that advice and validation ive found recently that i am growing ever more envious of my boyfriend of friends people i dont know whats that other saying success is like being pregnant everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you were fucked to get there so so easy to forget other people get fuckedmy boyfriend freelances its his job it pays rent it pays well yeah hes had a head start but fuck me im not like that right now so i must be a failure in all aspects as wildly illogical as that statement is i cant shake that urgencyi cant shake that fucking urgency its so stupid how can i be so unhappy with how i am yet still have zero motivation to improve it how am i not so active because that clock keeps ticking in my head saying if im not making waves by the end of the year im a little shitwhat the fuckive been telling everyone therapist included i plan to move to berlin in may for an artist residency or whatever but honestly deep down i know i lie and i know i probably wont make it to may im too scared to make it to may i quit school for this i left behind belonging and collective memory i left my group chats because i realised that they dont invite me to anything because theyve forgotten me no one reminds me of things no one remembers this post is long im sorry this sub is always about people mulling same with suicide watch people mull and brood i dont want to add to that go find a therapist that works for you do group therapy try different medication write a letter to a friend dont mull ive made a decision no more mulling for me ,3.0
2308,marydotbox   i fell  java amp was hooked by the age of  dont worry just check your colon ever  years ,0.0
2309,just stood up im tired loool  fortunately i dont have school  yaaay ,0.0
2310,i read the quotteenage life of a secret sirenquot again it made me cry a little ,0.0
2311,i much fear there is disaster waiting ahead for my computer ,2.0
2312,welshracer thanks  appreciate the replies ,0.0
2313,its late im exhausted but having trouble sleeping because i have a major build up of phlegm ,2.0
2314,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
2315,washing my car ,0.0
2316,i just got a parking ticket  i thought i had good karma coming my way,2.0
2317,marcandrefleury great game tonight and thanks for the pic and autograph last wednesday ,0.0
2318,sportn a smile taking in some color ,0.0
2319,i have a icky headache that wont leave me alone ,2.0
2320,stjoslin for a day i dont know ive got it for the weekend sorry ,2.0
2321,ahh they just blinded the little boy  is blinded a word lol,2.0
2322,kdc well there go my peace corps prospects ,2.0
2323,second week without a coffee this is good coming from a gal who use to have  a day oh how i miss it       chamomile is only  okay,2.0
2324,anxiety,2.0
2325,is sad len has left on a jet plane dont know when hell be back again ,2.0
2326,im looking forward to this weekend  no singing just seeing friends relaxing doing a a spa weekend at st annes in grafton on  ,0.0
2327,iamkene my mom said where is ken i said workinshe said man hes always working he cant ever have any fun and i said i know ,2.0
2328,meds take too long to kick in or im fucking lonely i hate being dominated by irrational negativity resentment towards others for being able to find a lover who cares hatred towards myself for being so inadequate i could go on for hours about that kind of thing though and it wouldnt even begin to exhaust the grotesquerie of this disease ultimately i just wish i had a brain that worked,3.0
2329,dannyjamesblake its very scary to drive i think i will only learn if i will finally cure my anxiety ,1.0
2330,cat passed away  im gonna miss that fat bastard ,2.0
2331,going to sleep goodnight    i hope you guys have a wonderful day tomorow   ,0.0
2332,ladyarubiana  so u learnin or u already know,0.0
2333,why doesnt twitter let me add a picture ,2.0
2334,rt livinlikelai lord please cover the surviving victims and extended family they need you more than ever 😪 this is so sad and scary http,1.0
2335,off to sammis house for another barbeque i love free food ,0.0
2336,fayz thank you for the birthday wishes   hope we connect again  maybe a down south tweet up ,0.0
2337, a dnt like them haha  hateperez,2.0
2338,rt depressionarmy opening up please read about artist soways struggle with depression ,2.0
2339,my hair is gone ,2.0
2340,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay ,2.0
2341,nevermind gonna sleep and call  project a miss ,2.0
2342,there are literally scientific studies that prove that their whales suffer from anxiety depression and psychosis,2.0
2343,rachaelbender no not going to chicago  im on crutches right now have a sueper time,2.0
2344,tashkins i shouldnt have listened to u and rich  oh well im staying positive  thanks for a fun eveningitaly here we come jxxx,2.0
2345,found out were leaving to the baseball game umm now tweet ya later peeps ,0.0
2346,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
2347,i see euros thats right pluraleuropa til   who wants to pick me up from the airport ill bring u something cool ,0.0
2348, yeah but too late  lol,2.0
2349,twofourteen me too most likely hes got something stuck between his nose and throat he sounds like kermit ,2.0
2350,going to the mall with my mother ,0.0
2351,its been a while as the title said its been a while i havent posted in a minute i wasnt posting because i thought i was getting better i wasnt im not getting better everything has been getting worse since my parents found out that i was burning and didnt do a god damn thing about it they just tell me that im faking and that im doing this to myself ive felt like this for a while when i first started to burn myself i didnt hide it it was free for everyone to see i was sent to my school counsoler because someone saw my arm and told my teacher the counsoler called my parents and told them that i was burning and when i got home all my parents said to me was  were going to ground you for every burn we see on you they searched my phone found my funeral songs playlist and fastest ways to kill myself and still said i was faking i dont know what to do anymoremy own parents dont give a fuck about mei just want it all to end,3.0
2352,rebstew email foo ,2.0
2353,im super glad i got to catch up with my best friend we still have so much in common it makes me smile ,0.0
2354,def need to go to the dr now my stomach hurts there without being full  feels like poking,2.0
2355,is off to church and then the church picnic  ,0.0
2356,its  and i am sitting watching a marykate and ashley movie  i need to go to sleep but ate wayy too much sugar today  ,0.0
2357,up way too early today ,2.0
2358,working on sending out my sons sr graduation invitationswhew sighlittle sad too ,2.0
2359,squirtsilverman oh yes she was very scary  quotsebastianquot was hilarious though haha i cant believe we still have  more days though ,2.0
2360,hannnnnnnah yes  amp some of my apps stopped working because theyve already started using  quotosquot eff,2.0
2361,jodiekearns easy  you get the iphone jamesmoran gets you the corset everybody wins ,0.0
2362,college feels like a waste of time im in college as a psychology major and i feel like everything i learn here is pointless im obviously not smart enough to be here i mean im barely getting by as a psych major i know about depression and i know about therapy but i cannot get over the fact that even after i graduate i will have to do even more schooling in order to actually get a job that pays well i just in class and just feel worthless since everyone is obviously a lot smarter than me i dont even know i how made it this far academically im too depressed most days to do homework let alone study im not even guaranteed a job as soon as i get out of school im in my junior year and im an ra at the school and the pressure is just too much im at school always trying to be a light to everyone i meet but its so hard to be like that i feel like all i have is just stress and fear but im too weak to do anything about it i dont necessarily want to die but i wouldnt stop anyone if they were going to hurt me i know im probably being way too dramatic about this but its just the horrible how much college will screw me over in the future when it comes for paying the loans im alone and i hate it,3.0
2363,gigisketchup no i heart greenigirl shes a sweetie ,0.0
2364,stacijshelton hes gone for a swim but has accepted one of my tarot twreadings should be interesting ,0.0
2365,i am diagnosed with dysthymia and ptsd im currently taking  buproprion and  escitalopram dailyi was also prescribed trazodone unfortunately i had a particularly nasty side effect so i dont take it any morei am not currently in therapy  although i was a few months ago my therapist changed to another location and unfortunately i could not continue seeing her she recommended me to another therapist i did not follow up i am currently seeing a psychiatrist for medicationi am a male mid  in relatively good shape at  and  poundsas weird as this sounds im writing this because i dont understand it its a really scary thought but it doesnt really feel like me like its all a mask but its my actual identity thats what i am so why does it feel so impersonal to me how is it so impossible to relate to myselfwas hanging out with some friends smoking hookah a day or two ago and at one point i sort of zoned out of myself sort of like dissociation i guess but also sort of like being stuck in a body that i was only vaguely aware i was in control of i cant properly explain it i guess but its like i knew the person my friends were seeing wasnt actually me but i had no idea what me even was and how to introduce him if that makes sense it doesnt even make sense typing it i came to this realization and i just sort of let the fake me take the reigns and be super friendly and outgoing and i had a good time i think i did at least i dont really knowi just dont understand any of it can anyone relate or shed some light is this bad or normal or what,3.0
2366,ohhh heartbreak     just leaving great america,2.0
2367,yayy matt willis  and awwwhhh daddy willis ,0.0
2368,xstex when it happens ,0.0
2369,so pissed i missed the peggle sale on itunes a few days ago went down to  now its back up to  ,2.0
2370,any shiny and new tweeps need some love first  to reply get a lucky followfriday from americas  mens magazine ,0.0
2371,andinipresident dyou love vidialdiano  me too  ,0.0
2372,rt  me pretending that my depression doesnt effect my daily life httpstcoousbvbxnso,2.0
2373,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
2374,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
2375,stinking stinking hangover today ,2.0
2376, cwtsh cappage on its way ,0.0
2377,i liked a youtube video  ocd amp anxiety disorders crash course psychology ,2.0
2378,johannschwella wwwdstvondemandcom  but looks like its not live ,2.0
2379,officialtila if i have  friend requests tomorrow im blaming you  nite,0.0
2380,i will have sims  in my hands in about just under  hours maybe  yay,0.0
2381,is tired of doing the agreements aiyo bila mau habis ni mata dah sakit gila ,2.0
2382, i know hes still hot but i dont like him as much  i still like mikey hehe,2.0
2383,rt reecespiecesinc my huge smile slowly turned into lips covered in tears ,1.0
2384,i have been in this stage before i was once with this girl made me feel something like i was actually good looking i felt like she did cared about me like no one else did i was with her for almost a year and then at the end of the relationship she made me feel like shit because she made me feel like shit she ignored me cheated on me and even said she wasnt with anyone right in front of me when she was talking to someone i was so depressed she hold on to me even when she was with someone telling me she loved me it killed me everyday and earlier last year i found another girl i am still with her and things are ending the same way like the other relationship and i have been with her for almost a year she made me feel wanted like i have never ever felt i have never feel things like heri know she loves me deeply i know she wants to stay together but shes the one changing i am scared of losing her and i am scared that this will just be the end of things during the stages of my depression was bad i couldnt eat did the average self harming like everyone did  i couldnt even talk very insecure i was very suicidal that i feel like when i go outside i will try to find the tallest building to jump out of i just dont want to get back in my depression i am scared and i cut off my friends i just dont know what to do i need help i know i barely make sense i am all over the place i cant stop worrying about everything,3.0
2385,i genuinely dont think things can get any worse ill just get right into itoctober  dumped by the guy i dated for  monthsnovember  found out i was pregnant with aforementioned guys baby had an abortion the week after thanksgivingdecember  my mom goes into the hospital has been suffering from cancer from almost two years for a serious fall i also get fired from my first job out of collegejanuary  i just found out that my mom has at most weeks to live more likely days shes now on hospice at the family homeis there any reason to hope that things could possibly get better im also an alcoholic as a  year old female college graduate from a top  school in the us have been suffering from social anxiety for years and i m pretty sure ive been depressed for at least a year or so i also cant go to a therapistpsychiatrist as i am back on my fathers insurance after being fired,3.0
2386,buddalunch goodnight ,0.0
2387,played  gpokrcom busted some  arses  waiting for pokerstars freeroll to begin and having coffeeeeeee,0.0
2388,twitter time  eubi doesnt deserve one of the new kfc burgers instead should settle for a chocolate coated swannie,0.0
2389,heycassadee   prettyy  and you learned some japanese while you were out here sounds like a successful tour  ,0.0
2390,reagangomez omg i love that song too im also glad that they all sing unlike other groups the song is fiiiiiirrrrre ,0.0
2391,morning going to church ,0.0
2392,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
2393,boykillboy im not getting all your updates ugh ,2.0
2394,hmmm potty training my son is not going well ,2.0
2395,the cooking question wasnt a jokeits on the stove right now any advice is appreciated im cookingimpaired  ,2.0
2396,mistawinehouse it does when i search for you by that ,0.0
2397,bgardner copyblogger steals all my best lines ,0.0
2398,should i delay starting my antidepressants to gather a safety stash in case of a delayed prescription refill so i got my first antidepressant prescription yesterday a  dose of fluoxetine i assume my psychiatrist wants me to start the meds today however ive been considering waiting until next week to start them so i can have some pills saved in the case of problems with refills in the future i have several friends who take antidepressants and antianxiety meds and i cant count how many times theyve had a sudden gap in their treatment because their psychiatrist office cancels an appointment and wont fill the prescription without seeing them or the office forgets to send the prescription and closes for the weekend or a holiday or the pharmacy fucks up and doesnt have the medication ready for days or insurance doesnt process paperwork correctly etc ive hung out with them during those med gaps and the sudden change in mood seems really unpleasant and im really scared of ever having to go through that some of those friends have managed to avoid going through a gap in treatment during those refill delays by taking pills that they hadnt taken before for one reason or another and had saved up so basically ive been considering doing this purposefully and i would guess that it would be better to do this now before i start rather than trying to cut it out of my prescription further down the road has anyone else done this is this a stupid idea does anyone have a suggestion on another way to deal with prescription delays ,3.0
2399,i love barry m nail paints ,0.0
2400,in nyc where the internet is expensive  back tuesday,2.0
2401,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
2402,rainy day  so bad trying to make my hair look great ,2.0
2403,just downloaded a cool song on itunes for free ,0.0
2404,off to bedno studiono  days of school left in southern californiaremember how awesome that last day of school year felt ,0.0
2405,kimcicle nah its not ,0.0
2406,labarceloneta isnt it though  you should have seen the way he was smiling when he told me  ,0.0
2407,stashacolin im from oceanside small world ,0.0
2408,scottynaispas thanks guys  ldnfreq hope ur diss isnt too stressfull hun x,0.0
2409,group therapy help needed hey anyone who takes the time to readive been putting off therapy for years and just suffering in silence because its how i deal with stuff i know that talking to people about my problems will help but i just cant bring myself to do it ive booked in so many times to go to my local group therapy and never showed up im worried that if even grouppeople therapy cant help me then i really am screwed in this lifehas anyone got any advice on attending group therapy or positive stories they can share from it edit sorry if i am doing this wrong i am not a regular around reddit,3.0
2410,getting ready for nyso excited ,0.0
2411,rt sofaritsian the  at msg tomorrow is the biggest stan twitter meetup ever its the equivalence of the grammys my anxiety is shaki,2.0
2412,i need help i cant help but feel hopeless im away from my family friends girlfriends and pretty much anyone that has ever meant anything to me the whole world i feel like theyre probably happy to have me gone and that makes me lay in my bed and cry i cant even express how i feel correctly i just cant theres no point here and i dont know what to do,3.0
2413,now homework ohyeah  malesejow im going to make a topic of malese jow so please everybody tweet something with malesejow in it ,0.0
2414, i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
2415,retrorewind stuck at work today   when are you reairing the block party,2.0
2416,dcom stamps  stamped as sydney  disney channel characters theme they are all busy or far away  any pet pee ,2.0
2417,i wrote a dumb poem today gtwe dont touch those scars these days gtor else theyll bleed a rivergtim sure ill tell you im okay gtbut maybe im a fibbergtanother tried to touch them oncegtand claimed she wast scaredgtthe time it took was historygtand she was not prepared,3.0
2418,anxiety art artist abstract abstractpainting abstractart acrylics acrylicpainting  httpstcoyvyfhdhptp,2.0
2419, freaking out about the exam,2.0
2420,lovely english weatherso glad i can swim ,0.0
2421,not enough sleep this weekend and i will miss my piano ,2.0
2422, good advice sadly i have to pump frequently bc im back at work for  hr days ,2.0
2423,ahh my friend kristen has two kittens that are going to have to go away  they cant keep them but they need homes,2.0
2424,at my breaking point just turned  this month am in the second semester of my sophomore year of college and ive never been in a worse place im currently on academic probation because i had some mental health problems that i let get in the way of my education and i dont think i will be let back into the university next year my parents always set high goals for me and i feel like im never able to please them im currently a pre law student but im not enjoying anything regarding my major but im at a point where my major is set im terrified about facing my parents with the inevitable that im going to be kicked out of university ive been turning to food as a coping mechanism which is causing me to be more unhappy because i can tell im gaining weight nothing is looking up for me right now and im terrified for my future ,3.0
2425,chrisagriffin sent ya a quick dm  just funny to me  awe lookie im messing up another purdy no  ,0.0
2426,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
2427,stuck in traffic bangkok daily bad news same every day ,2.0
2428,mirandabuzz  i really love your show btw         you and sam are so funnnyy    ,0.0
2429,joegreenz thx for that tweet was kind of you monsieur ,0.0
2430,sat at the bus stop listening to emarosa in the sunshine off to work again ,2.0
2431,idiocracy is a movie you should see now get to it people ,0.0
2432,im sitting in the garden reading quotfor whom the bell tollsquot  hopefully i can shake off the headache soon ,2.0
2433,thatsmrsok idk exactly when but i gotta go spend time wit rasheemi miss him soooo much ,2.0
2434,parents are my controlling my  life and i am depressed my parents do not allow me to live in a university dormitory go outside alone unless to class get a license frankly they dont let me do anything without their permission or alongside them this all has gotten more severe in the last  years i came into college with a clear career path and joy for the future now i am questioning what i want with my future likely because they control everything i have lost nearly all my self confidence i find it hard to push back because i know they will either make false promises or say no i remain optimistic but its tough  i realize i have posted a lot on here but if anybody has any sort of positive advice i would greatly appreciate it,3.0
2435,gerryhayes you do quite a few funnies keep up the good work ,0.0
2436,sunshinebabyyy aww baby alva im sowwwy  i love you i hope youre okay ill call you tomorrow xoxo,2.0
2437, i hope you can find something to distract you from your trichotillomania i understand the feeling ,2.0
2438,elisac if you get a chance itd be great if you could share your view on my blog  could use a little back up    httpcligssztqsq,0.0
2439,joy thats wut im hoping ,0.0
2440,theandykaufman dear god this woundrashthing on my leg is fucking spreading  fuck you ,2.0
2441,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
2442,wake up time oh man my stomach is sore from laughing pretty much all day yesterday haha going home today  i wanna come back real soon,2.0
2443,why does the rain have to come back    the tans already fading lol,2.0
2444,is picking up her sissy ,0.0
2445,shaunsmith you were so amazing in birmingham yesterday you waved to us i really want to go again next week in brum but its sold out ,2.0
2446,i know i am awfully loquacious tonight but biancas a hoe ,0.0
2447,darkpiano quotrestorer of harmonyquot i like the sound of that ,0.0
2448,alibaabaa our air con is foobar ,2.0
2449, have fun in your new job  xx,0.0
2450,  i talked to u but i didnt hear wat i wanted,2.0
2451,so much to do and so little time  stupid year  ,2.0
2452, home  really really really bored ,2.0
2453,driving im so terrified of driving im always afraid im going to pull the wheel wrong and wreck i had a nightmare about it last night i feel like im never going to beable to drive,3.0
2454,unfortunately i cant go see my stans on the bos tour im sad 😭  owencusac beyondbrandon blesiv itscarlosmena,2.0
2455,chott i wish she would have said something to me about it i would have definitely come into town now im all sad ,2.0
2456,in class then home to do laundry physical anthropology  bill is such a nice guy i just cannot keep these eyes open  sheesh,2.0
2457,deadassss lmaoooo,0.0
2458,i wish i only had depression again i remember just feeling depressed just trying to make others happy but now i am just the most bitter asshole i will act nice and make jokes but deep down i plan on commiting horrible things murder and rape stuff like that if people stay the same and if my life never gets better i have basically turned my sadness to anger i remember i used to feel lonely but now i dont now i just fucking hate people disgusting scum i will become the karma they deserve to get,3.0
2459,night tweeps good day lots done ,0.0
2460,mabetini merrill thats the ticket ,0.0
2461,its been  week that i didnt went to my classes i dont know what the fck should i doive been feeling overwhelmed by the thought of being asked why i didnt go to class because i dont have any other reason than feeling tired and afraid,3.0
2462,writeinink why only the greatest martial artist in dc comics ,0.0
2463,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
2464,is getting ready for the last day of orientation ,2.0
2465,is having a blastttttt with amber and melpf changs shopping frozen yogurt and movies yessssssss ,0.0
2466,victoriamo congrats happy bday ,0.0
2467,candylovesyou they were doing double takes cuz he goes quotthis is the guy on our album art his name is ryanquot they didnt do a medley ,2.0
2468,i dont know anymore the last  or  years my life has lost any direction and clarity it mightve had before its been an unending cycle of depression failure self loathing and guilt for the last couple of weeks ive been on the edge of a mental breakdown and ive been scared constantly because im not sure if ill survive the next one ive made no progress no matter how many psychiatrists or therapists i talk to no matter how much therapy i do no matter how much help i get nothing improves i cant stand not improving my situation which makes me feel even worse im never good enough no matter how hard i try my mental stability has always been bad but at the moment it feels like a time bomb thats about to run out of time i just want this endless downward spiral to end i dont want to be the endless burden on everyone like i am now i can only see  way out which is suicide the only reason i havent gone through with it is because of my friends and family i just cant stand being a burden anymore i want it all to endat the same time however i can see some bright points in the future but all seem so far out of my reach like a fish grasping the sun if that even makes any sense these bright points which most of the time keep me going are also dragging me down as it seems so unrealistic that i could be truly happy again i dont even deserve to be happy like that im a worthless waste of life who should just fade into nothing and be forgotten i suppose that in the end my wish is guaranteed to come true which is more than most people can say cause in the end ill die,3.0
2469,we do like dmb dont we  imjustjenn   ,0.0
2470,is currently listening to a live genesis recording from the quotattwtquot tour in paris  woo were these guys good back then  progrock,0.0
2471,seminar in dostastii am  hours late ,2.0
2472,memilk and cookiesthe perfect threesome ,0.0
2473,feed your faith with the word of god n you will starve your fears doubts amp unbeliefs to death ,0.0
2474,amandaalmondjoy i wasnt getting your tweet updates on my phone and i didnt know whybut i fixed it and now i do ,0.0
2475,iampriteshdesai im sorry mamas also had that happen i suck at math the most though cause i dont even have fingers to count ,2.0
2476,is so over this virus get out of my tummy ,2.0
2477,i didnt go to the buildabear group interview ydayi went to california adventure instead xill probably go to the interview next mon ,0.0
2478, lmaohe in a whole nothin statelmaolike  hours away   hmmim beefin with him anywayssmhlolphuck him,2.0
2479,sun didnt last for long its raining and i think its going to rain all day long ,2.0
2480,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
2481,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
2482,zomg cle gt sea is pretty far it turns out  just got in reveling in notacon anything but ethernet victory ,0.0
2483,forgot my charger for macbook pro now without internet ,2.0
2484,heathersolos someday you guys can make it out ,0.0
2485,drinkin like a fish  a fish that loves citrus vodka and diet coke ,0.0
2486,just wasted  hours internetting s  never mind i dont really care about floodplains ,0.0
2487,watching it anyone wanna cuddle im just a tad scared ,0.0
2488,wooo such a good day  party later  think just gonna chill in the garden all day,0.0
2489,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
2490,i was in the clear but i think my depression might be coming back dont know what to do except what im doing now meds therapy starting soon after a hiatus even since a family member got hospitalised ive had these microepisodes of flat mood and selfdislike and irritability im away from home and often theres nobody to talk to meaningfully or even in passing about my thoughts and feelings it was quite alienating but now im just bored and there are none of my usual things available to help me genuinely nobody has an inclination to help me seriously except people who are paid to,3.0
2491,im so sorry everyone  you are not alone ive been on this subreddit for the past two hours and i cannot believe my eyes so many hurt broken and lost souls seeking answers  some are getting options on what to do  but the majority just gets left on read i guess ive been feeling down myself for the past  months  sometimes home does not feel like home  like im alienated by myself and my usual surroundings but im nowhere near as hurt as some of the other redditors  a lot of kids talking about hurting themselves and suicide as early as  smhi guess im just trying to get people to notice  im just concerned for a lot of these people every two minuten a new post gets uploaded and that insane  i cannot grasp the amount of people suffering of depression etcwe should just take the time to give them at least one listener,3.0
2492,im going back to me old self and its killing me so i was diagnosed with clinical depression at a very early age its something ive had to deal with almost half my life i dont want to say this for attention i just want to give background anyways i wanted to fill my life with something that would last i just couldnt find anything that made me truly feel alive and happy and worthy to be loved so i tried finding it in some pretty shady stuff starting watching porn at a really young age tried popping pills and taking cough syrup nothing lasted long one of the biggest things was self harm eventually by some miracle i got the courage with the help of some friends to talk to my parents about i started to go to counseling freshman year and it was amazing it helped so much that i stopped self harmimg and taking drugs its been two years since i cut myself and  months since ive touched drugs im a junior nowlife felt worth living again i was making good friends even had a girlfriend for a little bit didnt work out tho but sometimes you just have those bad days i used to be able to coop with them better but its getting harder and harder to deal with them life has been so hard rn online school has been stressing me out so much my parents have been arguing more frequently and ik it sounds silly but i really miss my friends they help me so much and when i cant see them it just hurts i just cant see the good anymore in anything i feel like a failure at school a failure to me parents and just useless im not really great at anything im not a sports star im not good at music im not the best looking its just so hard i sometimes cry just thinking about it it hurts so much that ive been thinking about self harm again and id give anything to not go back to that hell i was in i just need something anything to feel right sorry for the long wait hope it makes sense,3.0
2493,right off to the pub to watch the second half royal porthcawl tomorrow i bet itll be raining old women and sticks ,2.0
2494,dealing with depression and daca i am one of those daca individuals deferred action childhood arrivals and am dealing with depression at the same time  the roller coaster of emotions has really put me in a rut and i am increasingly isolating myself  anyone else in a similar situation,3.0
2495,i got the sims  fuck yeah ,0.0
2496,i wonder whats my boyfriend doing ,0.0
2497,gemw youre not really going glasto on your own though are you thats no fun ,2.0
2498,after driving nelsons car you actually give me so much fucking anxiety,1.0
2499,what is this what the fuck is this i just want to talk,1.0
2500,alexwoodcreates cool  ping me an email  laura  journalismcouk,0.0
2501,ohh how bad i sleep ,2.0
2502,i wish the path was clear i was diagnosed with severe depression last year i have been in therapy  i have tried celena and zoloft they make me feel like a zombie i have played trumpet since elementary school and now i am one semester away from getting my doctorate i want to quit but i am too scared to because i am terrified of being labeled a loser or a quitter i am also terrified of finding out years later that i actually do want to do trumpet but i just had some fears in the middle also what should i do instead there is nothing calling me more should i do it just because this is what im in i wish there was a magic fairy that would come down and tell me what im supposed to do or i wish my depression monster were real so i could beat the ever loving shit out of it,3.0
2503,httpbitlyfcvjj nugget photos taken on  login amp password are both  enjoy ,0.0
2504,idk im so scared of growing up im in high school and all these adult things are hitting different i used to be so excited to go to high school and be able to drive but now i dont want to even get my license everyone is telling me youre becoming more of an adult i just want to shut down i was in the car with my dad and he said wow you are growing up so fast and i wanted to cry i dont even really know why am i afraid of the change idk ive always told myself that i should kill myself in my late  and if i dont get into college then earlier i just dont see the point of living if im not going to enjoy it you know idk i sound selfish but i dont want to become homeless and have my family and friends see me like that you had so much potential what happened god thats one of my worst fears growing up embarrassment failure i got kinda off topic but really i dont know what to expect after highschool i dont want to say bye to the people at my school even the people i dont even talk to but see in the hallways everyday maybe im just afraid of change all i know is that im not ready to become an adult but who is i just want to run away for a few months and come back like nothing happened you know ugh sorry this is all over the place i just wanted to rant,3.0
2505,bedandbreakfsts thanks kelly you are too sweet ,0.0
2506,tonight  bron bron could go home  im of course praying for the miriclecavs plz step up and help lebron play,2.0
2507,welcome kaitlyn  you have joined the tweetoverse,0.0
2508,i dont like having to take off all of my nail polish ,2.0
2509,i feel like im the only person in the world who has heard jay zs quotdeath of autotunequot ,2.0
2510,got a bad case of stiff neck ,2.0
2511,took bus homee i wish i was with hunter ,2.0
2512,lizwoolly tell me about it about time they were out earning a crust and fending for themselves ,0.0
2513,no but real talk its on repeat amp im getting sad 😔,1.0
2514,hepityhop where are you gone to bed  demn computer oh that was a very poor conversation  i should talk to dad,2.0
2515,caught in a trap im not an english native sorry for grammatical errorsi  have been depressed since i was maybe  years old ive always been shy and was bullied a lot growing up ive recently been dragging myself through my masters degree now when ive arrived at my master thesis work i feel like i cant anymore i feel like ive hit a wall i cant even answer emails or pick up the phoneive never had anyone i can talk to in depth about my depression or social anxiety i have a few friends but most arent the kind i can come to with my worst problems they have their own lives or dont reply consistently i have a close friend but sadly shes not empathetic she doesnt understand most emotions including depression shes called me weak for being too sympathetici live with my parents but they on the other hand cant handle strong negative emotions one starts screaming while the other cries while theyre decent and nice people i understood early on that i couldnt confide in them it makes me sad that i still have to pretend to them like i havent been crying i too have trouble taking my depression seriously when im out and about with people i can feel like im mostly fine i love to joke around and make people laugh in those moments i feel a bit silly for thinking that im sick but its become worse recently even when im with friends im losing the ability to experience pleasure i forget what things i like or where i want to go i keep slipping into a dark holei think i could use someone who could relate to how i feel and show some kindness but i just feel like there isnt anyone theres never been i just feel judged shamed like a burden or like a big child people are impatient or irritated except for short moments of people telling me theyve also been depressed the occasional you got this or be strong there isnt anyone i dont feel like i got this and i dont think i can be strong anymore ive wanted to go to therapy even though the thought scares me to just talk to someone anyone but people tell me it doesnt work and im afraid of feeling worse if they turn out to be right but i dont know how much longer i can go on like this i dont want to feel like this anymore i dont want to be dead or a burden i just want to function,3.0
2516,my bros staying here this weekend  there goes my good mood,2.0
2517,actually bored this weekend ,2.0
2518,marley amp me reduced me and mrs chivas to tears  i never used to be this sentimental was it the ice cold buds or am i just getting old,2.0
2519,still walking woo hoo lets make some noise woo hoo  relay relay my feet hurt ,0.0
2520,is waking up in beautiful venice italy working a flight to nyc ,2.0
2521,i went to bed fine one morning then as soon as i woke up i had no motivation  gone on for about  days im just confused like im a teenager and not wanting to go to school is normal but ever since i woke up that morning i cant bring myself to do anything out side of lay down watch tv or play video games it is like somebody made me have  hour of sleep when i actually get really good sleep i just feel tired all the time now and the idea of sitting through classes that im actually more or less interested in sounds god aweful i want to tell my parents but even though they are very supportive i just cant bring myself to ive been saying im sick the past  days,3.0
2522,holmdel soundcheck photo is just wow  such a great angle i wish i could watch a show from the stage moving around wherever i want,0.0
2523,i need some general advice regarding my treatment or maybe just some encouragement i dont know if im allowed to post this here but im really just not sure where else to go and who to discuss it with anywho the problem im having is that nothing my psychiatrist or therapist are doing with me is working anymore so progress with conquering my issues so that i actually have a life is pretty much at a standstill and has been for about a year my psychiatrist at this point seems to just be throwing any medication she can think of at me the past five or six medications she has tried me on have not agreed with me i actually missed a day of work on friday due to side  effects insomnia i couldnt sleep for about  therapy just seems to ring hollow to me now im not sure where im supposed to go at this point ive been recommended yet more medications or electroshock therapy my memory is already practically nonexistent as it is i really dont want to risk it getting worse or some sort of magnetic brain therapy of some sort but im just overwhelmed and im not sure if any of this would bankrupt me or be worth my time honestly if i cant get any advice thats fine just knowing there are others out there that feel like theyve exhausted every avenue and have nowhere else to turn would be helpful right now i feel like its just me like im somehow defective and cant be fixed  this is much more longwinded than i intended my apologies,3.0
2524,depressed after leaving home and coming back to school ill start with saying im sorry if this isnt the right subreddit but i thought it would be the best one also this is long so sorry for that too before this i didnt have depression ive been to a psychologist for sports and she didnt say anything so im not clinically depressed and this is the first time ive felt so low so i guess i might have situational depressionim a first year in college and moved nearly half way across the country to go to school yesterday morning i flew back to school and ever since ive basically have just been crying or trying not to cry my first semester of college was almost ideal i transitioned easily into my dorm life in september made a good group of friends got a boyfriend did extra curriculars and passed all my courses with pretty good gradesbut now that im back second day i still just want to cry i want my parents i want my own room i want to be in a house not a dorm i miss my cat i even miss my little sister i dont know what to do i just feel really alone yesterday after my classes which maybe i shouldve skipped since i only had a few hours of sleep i hung out with my best friend who i knew since i was little family friend type thing at her house until late and shes in engineering so i wanted to leave her some space the whole time i was just distracting myself from crying when i got back to my dorm i broke down and wanted to facetime my parents but because of the time change it was late and they had work early the next day so i didnt so i facetimed my boyfriend but all he said was that he understood and to not cry i know he was trying his best but it didnt help so we hung up and i tried falling asleep i think i ended up just crying myself to sleepi dont know what to do i just feel so alone most of my friends are commuters boyfriend commutes and those who are in res dont seem to be as bad doing as me i could set up an appointment with a counsellor at school but i havent yet i want to talk to my parents but i know theyll be sad too but they cant really do anything because i want to stay at this school and i just want it to feel like last semester i have so many chores from being away and i need to finish a paper due this week but i cant bring myself to do the chores or homework and i dont feel hungry but i need to eat but i cant unless im with friends when im in class or with friends im fine but every time im alone i start crying because everything reminds me of home it doesnt even feel like i was there just a weird dream i had and maybe if i fall asleep tonight i could wake up at home but i cant i also need to ask for an extension on my paper because i just havent done anything productive except unpack half my suitcase but i dont know how to explain my situation and im not sure if ill get one because we were supposed to write it over the break its mostly done but not good enough to hand in so this is just adding to my stressi just dont know what to do i just want to go home but i cant i feel so alone and so stuck because it feels like i cant do anything this is all i could think of doing any maybe just writing out my thoughts have helped im sorry its so long but i cant think straight and all i want to do right now is cry,3.0
2525,jennistarr sleep all day  hahah thats what id do if i didnt have school or work lol,0.0
2526,rt cemctery i do smell like sweat and depression mixed with coffee and angst,1.0
2527,itsattie date tonight  beers tomorrow night,2.0
2528,is at work still i ont get off until  ,2.0
2529,feeling trapped my patience has run thinive been sober for  days and the urge to get fucked up beyond recognition is strongpeople i considered friends havent reached outtexts go ignoredmy birthday is in a few days and im going to spend it alonethis self isolating has made me probably gain ten pounds i feel like im losing my fucking mind in this room,3.0
2530,tracking breaking news trackle  from my laptop ,2.0
2531,blue sky and the sun good times hayfever baaad times will suffer for it though ,0.0
2532,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
2533,just spent last hour or two on the wii with his french housemate and his housemates french friends i know more french than i thought ,0.0
2534,berryhelpful i would enter the tweetgenius contest but it just came up on my google reader ,2.0
2535,we broke  followers yay  we love you all ,0.0
2536,i really want ghoul trooper skull trooper and or renagade raider sad thing is i was playing then but didnt want ,0.0
2537,zellyzaraki no i didnt  still sadand pissed imma prolly get it fixed dis wknd,2.0
2538,catstein im sad i didnt get to see him in charlotte the other night im going to download that song i love though i miss you ,2.0
2539,quoti lové you with all my héart if i dont seee you again soon im finna diequot ,0.0
2540,feeling slightly more productive its almost pool time ,0.0
2541,tatesman why dont you sleep with musclenerd and leak us some  and pwnage i dont wanna wait till friday ,2.0
2542,depression survey hi im looking into doing some of my own research on depression and its symptoms ive struggled with it myself but theres no one cause for it ive constructed this survey to find a bit more information on the illness if you have the time id be appreciated if you could take this i really hope this isnt activism because i dont really understand that pinned postthanks for reading ,3.0
2543, hey loser ,0.0
2544,lyricallawyer yeah im excited its a beatles tribute band and i looove the beatles  i also love movie nights enjoy,0.0
2545,woke up realizing ive only eaten  slices of toast since saturdaycure more toast sleep didnt help the nerves ,2.0
2546,emjaystar lol i dont own a hot water bottle  going to have but an electric blanket this winter tho,2.0
2547,rt livpsy listening to music for at least  minutes a day makes it easier to deal with emotional stress,1.0
2548,picking up cody at  amp going to hard rock cafe at foxwoods ,0.0
2549, yeah prolly not ,2.0
2550,naomifaye  come back here we still play your beer o clock thing speaking of which i hell stole one of phils beers amp feel superrrrr bad,2.0
2551,sociallycubed thanks darl oh you must there are other guys coming amp swapping as well ,0.0
2552,monday again   hate ironing my shirt,2.0
2553,lexiemclean hope lunch was good so so so sorry to hear about your dog ,2.0
2554,going to spring awakening tomorrow with   yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ,0.0
2555,i need to have one of those sleep tests done but in the meantime its  and sudoku til i fall asleep ,0.0
2556,megansalazar i had to do this for my baking science class  nothing beats butter ,0.0
2557,tired bout to work do more work ,2.0
2558,gina rodriguez opens up about her anxiety on instagram  shape magazine ,2.0
2559,drink and drunk i have spent the last  days drinking and passing out drunk i sleep for  hrs plus a day i cry when im awake i am thinking of admitting myself but i have a dog to care for i feel full of anger and venegence i want to hurt people and myself i feel insane ,3.0
2560,my laptop smells of sweeties ,0.0
2561,rt diarypic that sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you dont talk to anymoreมันเป็นช่วงเวลาที่น่าเ,2.0
2562,mgiraudofficial okay a couple more questions  how will you entertain yourself on the long bus ridesare you writing any songs,0.0
2563,i just deleted the norton ghost image i wanted to restore and i cant seem to be able to undelete it either ,2.0
2564,donniewahlberg no really we do  yasumtimesjust playinbut i did change my cell wallpaper back  rich croninno more sexy cop  bh ,2.0
2565,clairemaxwell same here i hate how america has all the good programmes which we have to wait for ,2.0
2566,twitter work fine ,0.0
2567,agpublic have you seen this link me thinks you might like it  ,0.0
2568,got the brainbone daily question wrong   ,2.0
2569,on my way home  porto i love my home ,0.0
2570,nick likes talking in third person nick is gonna be an anteater ,0.0
2571,paradisej really  can i go too ,0.0
2572,tommorow is my last gym class for  grade but in  grade we get tested  ugh next years not gonna be fun at all ,2.0
2573,ha ha thank you father i now know that your political views are more important than my mental health and wellbeing,0.0
2574,hating doctors right about now ,2.0
2575,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
2576,pe now ,2.0
2577,got two more stamps on my paddy coynes irish club list good to go   nate jeezy,0.0
2578,squarespace everyones getting a new iphone but me  please give me one i need it,2.0
2579,quotand i know woah oh that ill never let it be world war iiiquot  love that song well the preview so excited for the album,0.0
2580,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
2581,recovered from a rough patch in my life and now joyful about everything i dont know whats wrong with me most of the time i feel numb to every bad thing that emotionally affects me and replaced it with joy and an happy overview of the thing sure my aggression and aggressive behaviour sometimes kicks in but most of the time im just glad i didnt do some past actions that i would now regret for anyone struggling take me as an example of how someone can go from cutting to joyful about everything ,3.0
2582,i dont feel anything anymore i only cry or get happy when im drunk does it ever get better,3.0
2583,joependragon lol not my own its hosted lik ewebspace but its good and fast and mine ,0.0
2584,i really just need someone to talk to ive been on my own for over a month and i just cant handle it i lost the love of my life due to my own stupidity i am so lonely and i dont know where else to turn i dont even know what to post here to get an actual response i just want somebody to talk to,3.0
2585,done with onethree more to go ,0.0
2586, awww  ill be back really soon promise,2.0
2587,i talk about my experience with depression in a super public way hey i thought you guys might be interested in this podcast my friend and i make we try to be super professional and informative but i ended up talking about my own struggle with depression and i thought you guys might be able to relate youre not alone and we love you ,3.0
2588,breathing a massive sigh of relief ,0.0
2589,i hate living with aspergers so much i think im really going to end it im just so sick of my life i always thought eventually things would get better but it only got worse i havent been able to keep a job more than  months because im clumsy and antisocial i cut of all my high school friends and havent hung out with anyone in over a year and i really dont care i dont want to i havent had a girlfriend since high school or tried to talk to a girl since high school i just ignore them completely because in high school my girlfriend cheated on me and i told everyone so in the cafeteria my ex stood up and screamed for everyone to hear that i have a little dick i had to move school and quit my job it and further ruined the relationship with my dad that i never really had i only lasted  weeks at my other school before i dropped out i just felt like everyone was looking at me and they probably were because i was fat as fuck almost  pounds so i started getting homeschool and working out i started to feel a little better about myself as the weight was going down but once i hit my goal i felt even worse about myself now that im at  my skin is saggy so i almost wish i was still fat because i cant take my shirt off now without getting stared at my hairline has also been like a  year old man since  grade i still remember getting bashed about my hairline in middle school and now worst of all im heavily addicted to weed i cant go a hour or two without it and its been like this for a few weeks it started when i got fired again and i have no money from work to support this habit so i started selling all my valuable like my game systems and nice clothes just about anything i can and once that ran out i started asking my parents for money theyre sick of it and are done so now i have no money no weed to keep my mind off this garbage life cant think of anything worse really i cant get a girlfriend because my hairline and saggy skin and i have a small dick so im sure any girl i get will cheat on me with someone better i literally cant keep a job no matter how hard i try and now im a drug addict im just done i really wish i could kill myself without pain i wish there was just a button i could push to end it because i would right now ,3.0
2590,watching the ellen show  love it and of course working too ,0.0
2591,kurtcagle alohaarleen sure youre not a distant relative ,0.0
2592,at the arclight with my homies josh amp justin from mcs were gonna watch drag me to hell  good clean fun i heart movies,0.0
2593,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
2594,rt allisonposts why are people so okay with tweeting such private and intimate shit like this just for the hopes of likes and rts this,0.0
2595,last day on the late bus ,2.0
2596,ex pumpkins and poos we are tulls life goes on you know ,0.0
2597,nfl committing suicide,2.0
2598,hope all is well for you in the future bro,0.0
2599,tonights bad ive never been one to go to anyone about my feelings as i feel ashamed and stupid even considering posted on rdepression makes me feel so weak and stupid makes me feel like im just looking for pity ive struggled with depression anxiety and ptsd for as long as my memories go had a very traumatic childhood tonight theres nothing more that i want than to disappear im probably gonna end up deleting this in hopes that nobody goes thru my history and sees my struggle and judges me for it i dont know if wanting to die is the correct term i want to i want to know what its like if i did die and i want to know how much people would regret doing the things they did to me and how i tried so hard to love everyone and be a good person im nowhere near at risk its not on the table for me but tonight  i am feeling like absence is calling me i can contain it in the sense that i am able to rationalize my thoughts and say that i am so grateful for everyone in my life tonight i am alone sad angry and i wish i could fast forward to better days my relationship is currently bad we have ups and downs its more emotional and financial than anything else im poor and stressed i just want to have worth i know i have some but i cant keep my brain from inching that thought into my head slowly but surely taking over any positive or neutral thought i havetonight im scared shitless as to what im going to do for my son for christmas i posted for help on rsantaslittlehelpers and recurved a pair of shoes and a book for my son i reposted too but my mind tells me how stupid i am for that theres people who have it out worse theres people who have cancer and are dying or have  kids vs my  i just tell myself i look like a beggar tonight i ask myself why my mom and dad didnt care enough to keep my sister and i in their custody or keep my dad out of jail i am over legal age  this is in my past why addiction flows through my families veins like the river surging through a storm tonight i ask myself why im fat why i didnt shower why i havent done nearly anything i need to do today tonight is the night of whys i question myself as to why i posted this i think its because i needed to vent truth is this isnt nearly half of what i really want to say but i feel too embarrassed to post any complaints too ashamed dirty and stupid i can be told im not stupid and idk whatever else but nothing in my head helps me relief the overwhelming feeling of dumb for talking about it statistically i should be homeless or a drug addict unemployed everything my family was a failure im not im the further thing from it but my mind continues to filter out anything that could make me feel better i have been to therapy and have been on many combinations of medications but dont have insurance anymore furthermore there have been great times that these things have helped me but they eventually fade into the same old thing it just doesnt go away it never will go away but i manage and i try my damn hardest to see the glass half full or even  full if you read up to here thank you for listening and thank you for caring thank you for being my shoulder i have lots of friends i could go to but i came here instead every time i go to a friend i just regret it  even if they genuinely show they care im sorry ,3.0
2600,officially a wife and about to leave on my honeymoon  ,0.0
2601,taking dan to the dentist he has five cavaties two decaying wisdom teeth and a chipped tooth poor guy ,2.0
2602,goodnight  sweet dreams  and good karma to all  so excited for tomorrow haha  via zenjar ,0.0
2603,alittlelamb were you at sytycd i didnt see you ,2.0
2604,morning huge lie in think i will attempt to go for a run ,2.0
2605,joelmadden   omg you are actually smiling you look so freaking cute love you ,0.0
2606,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
2607,just broke down in the middle of the road with groceries and a two year old and in  degree weather wont have a car for two days  sigh,2.0
2608,pinksealight oh lucky u i need to send mines away to get fixed ,2.0
2609,back from the blooddd testt  i was so scared lol,2.0
2610,will be out hopefully out long enough to enjoy it this time ,0.0
2611,greatscott up is both in  and   depends on location  best to call or check websites ,0.0
2612,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
2613,wsu wants  to put on pollan  no wonder they have budget woes ,0.0
2614,iriegyal yes this weather is definitely depressing ,2.0
2615,i have a cold well sideeffect of glandular fever been sneezing alllll day about  times now  its scaring the dog haha,2.0
2616,i have no school yet im up to go to work for an hour fml more shots later today ,2.0
2617,conclusion the cookies you buy at the supermarket by no means compares to those from dunkin donuts ,2.0
2618,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
2619,is heading home  have a severe headache ,2.0
2620,im pretty sure i am depressed again and i have no idea what to do when i was fifteen years old i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety my grandma died and i checked out i was prescribed prozac and took that for about a month and then i stopped taking medication because i didnt want to face my mental illness basically if i took medicine it was making the whole situation reali switched schools twice and even though i was mentally capable of completing school work and being an active participant in life my illness prevented me from doing soi ended up having to make up credits my juniorsenior year of high school i had to make a special request in order to complete so many units in one year my school counselor was proud of the progress i had made and i graduated ontime with the rest of my class i spoke at my graduation and i finally thought that i had beat my illness i am now  years old and its back full force no one knows i have stopped attending my college courses and have called into work sick multiple times i hate myself for this i know i can do better i occasionally have moments of clarity where im happy and i can do life which makes me feel like im overreacting i have a great boyfriend and good friends but again i feel like this is a journey i have to be alone in i am afraid to tell the people i love that im depressed because i dont think they will be able to understand or relate especially when the person i project to the world is extremely positive even when how i feel inside does not match i guess i need to plan a visit to the doctor and get back on medication righti really dont know what to do ,3.0
2621,whoa this is kinda depressing cause its like first bookgtfirst chaptergtjames and lily have just died ,2.0
2622,at work but punchy due to two early morning pager events ,2.0
2623,openhappiness hey when will you have a world tour ,0.0
2624,i miss who we all used to be ,2.0
2625,acting strong and independent is cool and all but you know whats not cool hiding crippling depression,1.0
2626,im sittin wide awake wishes i didnt work so much so i could be in more shows with my old friends  man i sure do miss those days,2.0
2627,joelchapman have fun away joel i will miss all your prescences on my birthday ,2.0
2628,everybody should buy lvatt ,0.0
2629,performance point  sdk the worst thing to work with ,2.0
2630,stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress,2.0
2631,this is sad please help if you can   httpbitlyejkcs,2.0
2632,i think i choose life ive spent most of my life dealing with the consequences of my sexual physical and verbal abuse i was raped at before i was  i had been beaten and screamed at for being useless before i was  i was brown in a white world how do you tell people that you dont want to die because you hate your life its not perfect but my life is good my family love me and i love them i have a best friend god found me all in all its been a weird ride i wanted to die because i had nothing left in me id exhausted all my options there was nothing left i could do and i was out of everything i had no will want nor need to live my sleep was plagued with dreams about skeletal figures being burned alive hurting people no respite there my waking moments were almost unbearable none there either just earlier this year i had my head in a noose and i was slipping out of consciousness im not proud of it but i will never be ashamed either i will not be ashamed of what ive overcome and who i am im not perfect but i know i am kind and good i absolutely wanted to die not to end the pain there was none the was no pain happiness or anger bouts of paranoia and depersonalization ensued then they werent bouts i no longer existed i was the void that happiness went to die anyone who came anywhere near me left much sadder than they arrived  no point in talking about it it never changed anything i would just exhaust myself by talking in circlesmy family is christian the love everybody despite differences kind they themselves had traumatic childhoods my elder siblings had far far worse upbringings where im from and its small that stuff is all tolerated i never believed in god i hoped for him but hope had never done me any favours the idea of unconditional love was everything to me i got to  years old when i realised that my rape was not my fault that the beatings were not my fault but i forgive them he is gone now doing what i dont know my mother is still with me and i love her very much i understand that her actions were atrocious im under no impression that what she was doing was okay they are forgivable though were all human all products of our environments i wont see these problems touch the next generations of my family even if i have to out every one of those rapists legally theres not much that can be done that sucks god was my witness through good and bad he saw me through my lowest points even i wasnt aware i havent quite seen my highest points but im holding out im still okay with dying still kind of want it i may never be resolute in my will to live but i accept its presence raaaaaaant over ps no matter what you believe in or who you are you are worth the air you breathe the space you take up you are worth more than words can describe please believe that you have strength even when you feel weak and rotten i love you even if you dont believe it i love you all because youre still here youre breathing and youve overcome todays challenges dont you dare doubt that the love i never got to give to anyone else has grown immensely and i hope you know that i am being honest when say  you guys fucking got this we got this ♥️,3.0
2633,is nervous and on edge  ,2.0
2634,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
2635,feeling very alone oh man i know i have friends i know im lucky but i dont have many autistic trans friends and no autistic transmasculine friends like me in fact every autistic transmasc person i know hates me im so lonely not to mention that im falling behind in school again and im having trouble socializing with people at school i wish i had people that understood but i seem to emit an aura that makes people hate me or at the very least makes people uncomfortable im inherently deeply unsettlingim collapsing academically socially and in terms of transition i dont even find video games fun anymore and havent watched a new anime in months im a shell,3.0
2636,i hate this place so what the fuck am i actually supposed to do im anxious all the fucking time and im more isolated than the goddam moon i just dont know what to do anymore i dont have no friends and honestly half the time offing myself is in my mind the best thing to do but im so hesitant so im not living my best life but im not dead its like im forced to be alive,3.0
2637,rt  entre mis pensamientos y las canciones de adele no se quiénes están más sadlosiento elf kcamexico sjofficial,2.0
2638,tommcfly we made an insane plan to meet ya on may  but it didnt work out cz they said some crazy fans tried to break into your van ,2.0
2639,behindthecouch yeah look what you started lol ,0.0
2640,stephenfry o youre not following me  i think you definitely should  hehe stephenfry o youre not follow ,2.0
2641, its a mix of adjusting to life in gville and finding fulltime employmentglass isnt empty yetbut coming close ,2.0
2642,amazed at the power of stock exchanges to make you rich ,0.0
2643,   maui which one are youuu ,0.0
2644,ranijoshi i want pav bhaji  umm werent u supposed to invite us round the next time u made it hehe,2.0
2645,pouipouidesign im using twitterfox and its not working so im not getting my updates  trackle squarespace,2.0
2646,feedly tracking moods on twitter with a physical carousel display   this makes me ,0.0
2647,alice is hilariously messy got lots to do today ,2.0
2648,its summer baby ,0.0
2649,i have a problem i am sorry if i violate any rules or anything this is my first post on this app so yeah i am not really sure how this all workalso sorry for my bad english but it isnt my first language anyway to the point i am that type of person who in their life had learn to deal alone about everythings that happened to them i had never have someone who i could really ask for help until some years ago anyway i cant figure out how i feel what i have and things like that in particular in this last year i start to think about depression i am not a doctor so most of the information i have i have them from the internet and i dont know if i have maybe a start of depression or maybe i am already in someone could give me some advice about it ps i have a doctor but i have start to see her short time ago and now whit the whole coronavirus story i havent saw her for a month so yeah for now i dont feel like to go up to her and say my doubts i am scared that she might tell me i am simple going through a bad time or something like that,3.0
2650,so upset just dropped marvin off to have quotthe opquot  my poor baby xxx,2.0
2651,is it normal to need a certain person so i have thus ex we fell in love but the relationship ended badly we still talk but when we dont i feel like im suffocating i have depression and it seems like with him i dont feel any pain when im near him i dont want to hurt myself i selfharm by ripping off the skin of my lips and scratching the hell out of my body but i cant with him i know i know you need to get over him its not healthy blah blah blah but ive tried i once tried to go a whole week without talking to him and i almost died i dont know whats wrong with me and i really wish i could stop is this normal for anyone else,3.0
2652,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
2653,fat guy falling asleep on me on the bus ,2.0
2654,my life is a mess my brother is dead my sis is a drug addicted my father left and my mom has heart problems and she doesnt have long to live so ill be all alone at  yk might as well kill myself goodbye world,3.0
2655,sietewilliams cause ur home in ny and im not miami gloomness got me missing home ,2.0
2656,why do i feel like this is a punishment is there any chance you can ever get rid of this endless pain and hate for myself i swear i have tried everything went throught years of therapy and pills went throught rehab stopped smoking i never thought ill make it this far i shouldnt be here now struggle everyday to keep myself going its like i am being punished for just staying alive does anyone feel the same i refuse to believe there is any cure for this no pills ever get me rid of it felt like it builds a wall between my consciousness and all those issues but you can still feel it and you know its there waiting for you i cant escape it and feel like i am living in my past what do you do to feel any relief,3.0
2657,loves cheesy drama shows that give her quotes and make her feel more normal tv shows know about life sure they do haha riiight ,0.0
2658,in down town seattle with lauren ,0.0
2659,blaq im really good excited and inspired  the hustle continues and im seeing progress ,0.0
2660,i go take a nap and i wake up too fried chicken  lucky day,0.0
2661,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
2662,please follow me i dont have many ,2.0
2663,a cool afternoon but i was bored ,2.0
2664,has a new kitten orange in colour and the namehemi    now my puppy mopar has someone to play with ,0.0
2665,davidhenrie i followed him but you better be right about him bein cool ,0.0
2666,sephora gives free gifts for birthdays yayyy excuse to go shopping ,0.0
2667,hey im in my mid thirties and havent really done much with my lifei think i want to blow my brains out,3.0
2668,just woke up  today is my first day off   i will eat something   and then go to gym  and gp shopping tonight ,0.0
2669,i wuz playin wthe cutest dog everuntil she got picked up ,2.0
2670,rt healingmb fuelling a mental health crisis instagram worst social network for young peoples mentalhealth drdenisemd httpstco,2.0
2671,loves the sun but the sun doesnt love me ,2.0
2672,ericalivoti  i know i miss you shmookie plese come today,2.0
2673,abbyluvsaj i wish someone would text me  lol,2.0
2674,little monster is in the bath now but hes off to bed soon a short wow session and then bed for us too am expecting another  start ,2.0
2675,am i going crazy or is this normal why do i feel like i am literally going crazy i am talking alone spend more than  minutes spacing out fantasizing and day dreaming i cant remember any thing i have a memory loss i dont even enjoy anything anymore i dont even feel the pleasure masturbating i cant maintain eye contact with people any more i dont know what to be socially normal i laugh alone in class i do stupid things for no reason i cant control myself am i going crazy am i worried i cant even look at my fucking self in the mirror everytime something in my face gets uglier i cant help it  gtknowing that i am going through an exam period it releaves me a little so maaaybee its just stress,3.0
2676,rt altheafaythe why am i purposely listening to sad songs to make myself sad,2.0
2677,end of another long ass day completely out of the apartment now this all feels strange had dinner amp said bye to the laulos tonight ,2.0
2678,going to alexandres in oak lawn with alex join us or text me  ,0.0
2679,hey davidarchie we miss you here in the philippines badly hahaha do you have any message to your fans here are you coming back ,0.0
2680,its surreal to wake up and look out the window and see the street where my truck should be ,2.0
2681,downloading songs on itunes ,0.0
2682,one tree hill ,0.0
2683,coffee time ,0.0
2684,alexerific red crepe paper ,0.0
2685,hamednz  so what are you going to do now ,2.0
2686,im going round my mates later to carry on with our counselling session recording its not that great weather today cloudy  ,2.0
2687,my brother is abusive but theres nothing i can do my brother regularly gas lights me and my mum as well as guilting us and verbally abusing us it was bad before my dad died but is worse now it makes me want to kill myself and i cant tell the police he has a record hes been violent to my mum and dad in the past because he gets worse i cant confront him because its makes him worse it also makes him violent hes attacked me for it any ideas im thinking of killing myself to end the abuse but it would leave my mum with him and i date want that ,3.0
2688,sexual disfunction due to citalopram hello i  take  of citalopram every night the dosage was increased almost a month ago i recently started dating a girl and have become sexually active for the first time in a while during sex i can sometimes lose my erection and almost never actually orgasm i dont masturbate in excess and enjoy having sex so i dont feel these could be contributing factors does anyone have experience with this and if yes is there any advice you can give  i have a call scheduled with my gp for tomorrow wherein i intend to share my concerns and see if he is able to provide a solution thanks,3.0
2689,felt fine this morning but now that its been revealed that sammy sosa failed a drug text in  im kinna sad ,2.0
2690,what do you guys do to not isolate yourself and withdraw from friends when in a depressive episode i have been withdrawing from my best friend because she triggers my insecurities in the times when i feel the worst when i hate myself so much i start thinking she will never accept me for being like this therefore she will leave because this side of me is not fun to be around so i isolate myself to prevent being hurt but this only leads to more pain because i feel like she thinks im ignoring her and being a bitch and now i dont know what to do i feel like i may ruin our friendship,3.0
2691,dreaming with a broken heartjohn mayor he never ceases to amaze me ,0.0
2692,chargarrisson im slightly nervous but yes of course ill let you know how it goes  good luck with the sacs,0.0
2693,is finished making icons for the blizzard theme for the iphoneipod touch  now just comes the soundsmessage me  to be in the beta,0.0
2694,rinokinawa yumm whatss lindsey eating  cuz shes a veggie,2.0
2695, we do toois jest bein funny  amp yeah up is great ,0.0
2696,planning my trip to umass next week hopefully i will have luck finding a new home ,0.0
2697, yo jaded returned from overseas hi alli returned to the uk this week after  years in oz where i got sponsored to work in my industry charity sector long story short the office culture was terrible and the government changed the rules around temporary migrants getting residency which led to a lot of stress and uncertainty id also broken up with my partner whilst there and all my chickens came to roost as it werei made the decision to return home and pursue further study options and short term contracts away from the visa drama the oz job really destroyed my love for the charity sector and i admit to feeling very burnt out at presentanyway this week alone i have received  rejections one from a prestigious uni where i interviewed to do a masters one for a maternity leave contract in london where i lived for  years and one for a charity job in new zealand due to my visa  situation as they chose to hire a local insteadthe sting from these rejections havent really set in largely because i suspect i didnt really want them anyway particularly the masters but i cant help but feel cut adrift i have a skiing trip next week as part of my say yes to everything new mantra and my instincts are telling me to go travel once i return this is going against the white noise of pregnancy announcements weddings and house buying i seem to be getting deafened by on social mediaim worried i dont have a clear way forward and wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation before i used to pride myself on having an upward career trajectory and now im stumped when wellmeaning family and friends ask me whats next i dont knowtldr worked in a lucrative but terrible job in australia just returned home and getting rejected for roles dont know what i want beyond travel ,3.0
2698,i could never get tired of you playing piano,2.0
2699,fxmixer do you sell prints of those coloreddrop pictures you just added to your site if so how much theyre so pretty ,0.0
2700,talking to cloe and lakshmi ,0.0
2701,mayleeen hey i listened to it they really changed their sound  have you heard dont speak theres a nice part  ,0.0
2702,my mummy made tuna lasagna she had to do something right today yummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ,0.0
2703,xbrokenstarsx woohoo i get to see ginger for a fraction of a minute right  i leave work ,0.0
2704,i feel so sad for th my deepest condolences for him and his family i hope they can all draw strength from each ot ,1.0
2705,johncmayer i heard that it now smells of sewage in france if thats true i feel  for you ,2.0
2706,bobbyshirley brynwaddell errryoure aware that kevlar doesnt fit you right david had armor too large but yours is too small ,0.0
2707,i just want to not care i care about everything sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just not feel some days i feel apathetic and i realize that it scares me and i like having feelings i dunno i feel insecure unhappy like im not doing enough im pretending not to care pretending like im not sensitive pretending that i dont feel guilty for nothing pretending im not anxious pretending that im not thinking of the worst possible scenarios for everything i cant pretend to act normal though it always shows when im unhappy why can everyone else hide it i cant i have to pretend to be happy but i cant do that i feel confused and just i wanna sleep forever ,3.0
2708,morning all we are supposed to have a beautiful sunfilled week ahead enjoy it happy days are here again ,0.0
2709,sorry if i dont answer your texts its the depression emma,2.0
2710,chwong got an office  nerd to hum to ,0.0
2711,stripeybea tick tick tick tick tick coffee grounds and blackbird assisted ruthlessness all calm amp still feeling serene once more ,0.0
2712,stephademic realdonaldtrump im so sorry to hear that we need better more affordable mental health programs in this country,1.0
2713,rt sophiexsheridan movies to watch for different moodssad mamma mia happy mamma mia nervous mamma mia angry mamma mia nostalgi,2.0
2714,up and ready to go headed off to dunkindonuts then picking my little sister up from schooloh and rip ed mcmahon  so sad,2.0
2715,its  not yet done ,2.0
2716,evieluvsmuzic in the quotjust woke upquot kind of way  it sits somewhere beyond good or bad  ,0.0
2717,deancummings oooh dean  you are sooooo masterfulcould you give pembrokedave lessons  sprry i just cant seem to stop,0.0
2718,tracecyrus try lunapiccom for that ,0.0
2719,i feel like my body is breaking down and i cant deal with it i know people have worse issues with their body than me but its still devastating that theres so many things i cant do anymore and that i have to be in pain forever now for the rest of my life im too young for my life to be so limited,3.0
2720,suzymcben i do need more sleep help me  pmsl  the general enough of the army already,2.0
2721,had lucky chinese  looking at stacks of boxes amp cds  be signedmailed gonna watch a movie amp sign pack amp tape away fun fun  ,0.0
2722,its pouringgg  i  cupcake,2.0
2723,i definitely ate too much at lunch feeling a bit queasy ,2.0
2724,watching the ring hate the horse dying bit  sad,2.0
2725,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
2726,pineappleak who is everyone seeing you tomorrow ,0.0
2727,i feel like theres a hole in my chest i keep on taking all these deep breaths as if i can fill the hole with air  i havent felt this bad in a while  let me know if anythings better with any of you id like to remind myself that things arent always this bad,3.0
2728,weekend friday jools holland hampton court  excellent  saturday mums birthday  sunday in bed all day with some nasty coughy temp thing,0.0
2729,bad time to lose a job internal combustion engine engineer in the uk pretty niche been made redundant and having trouble finding work thanks to  and now lockdown i have no savings just a mountain of debt im terrified that i wont have an income after the redundancy payoff runs out guilty that im worrying when so many people have it much worse than me angry at my younger self for putting me in this position eg why didnt you dedicate yourself to the company better why didnt you save your money instead of eating takeaways and taking out loans to buy crappy broken down motorbikes why are you  years old and have nothing but debt depression and a rapidly shrinking social circle to show for it why dont you just give up i think about suicide a lot but i never let it get anywhere because i know it would destroy my dad and i wouldnt be able to push that from my mind the thoughts are coming thick and fast tonight thoughim sorry for the rambling writing style im not in the right mood for careful composition i hope youre all staying safe and healthy,3.0
2730,mcflyharry hi  did you guys watch or play any afl footy when you were here in australia xoxoxxoxox,0.0
2731,selenagomez awh joey sounds so cute ,0.0
2732,with my cousin ,0.0
2733,is up early and ready to get crackingbut on what bored already  help,2.0
2734,is doing geography coursework ,2.0
2735,rt maclandktm its always harpers fault have you visited your doctor recently you may want to check to see if you have an onset of har,1.0
2736,its raining here i got nothing to do ,2.0
2737,is having sausage and mash for tea and reckons hannah montana the movie is great i know im  it is fab tho ,0.0
2738,tamil refugees at camp tn police authoritarianism  ,2.0
2739,hooded bright sunshine here in sunny surrey  have a good day,0.0
2740, aw junk everytime i try to join it says unknown error  lame ha,2.0
2741,doesnt know why twitter wont update from his phone ,2.0
2742,another beautiful day  heading back over to mmea all state in a bit visiting a school this afternoon in cape elizabeth ,0.0
2743,xmisskayxx ahh right its an alarm ,0.0
2744,kelmul phew crying alot think its  time im not put off babies by it  to get lemsips at tescos yest so stupid ,2.0
2745,rt  i feel like im about to go in depression mode for no reason,0.0
2746,dang havent been to the block for a while cute guys ,0.0
2747,brandonmlytle awe of course not ,0.0
2748,visiting pops missing grapevine ,2.0
2749,tennillep thats my girl  glad ur home safe ,0.0
2750,thatlass near doncaster but no one likes to admit that after local child abuse expose and local elections ,2.0
2751,rt bigbossboze dear friends that also suffer from terrible anxiety try to spend less time in your head and more time in the real world,1.0
2752, i just really hate myself i hate everything about me i am unworthy of pretty much anybodys company i feel like if i were to disappear i would be one less problem the world has to deal with i just suck at everything and it feels like the harder i try the harder i fail i am such a disappointment im really confused life is so unfair,3.0
2753,is sad boys left for two weeks ,2.0
2754,dannymcfly please please please say hey to jasminebarton she loves you pleaseee  xd,0.0
2755,hit by exhaustion of me so off to lay down back later  xxx,0.0
2756,my ears are really sunburnedi never remember to put sunscreen on them ,2.0
2757,new moniter finally i can stop developing spinal problems ,0.0
2758,chill in down town  about to hit the town and color it red with shame ,0.0
2759,making sudden turns when a line of cars are behind me,1.0
2760,mtv movie awards ,0.0
2761,i hate this feeling going through a first love breakup been together for  years through highschool beautiful memories were made but however we had to end it due to a lot of conflicts between us however i still miss her and i still cant believe its overso here i am on the reddit trying to atleast get something of my chest to maybe make myself feel better this new depressing feeling is starting to boil up in my body and mind i hate it i never had depression before i just cried a lot but this is something newthe worst feeling is that shes so calm about this breakup and has friends who she can hang out and who can actually support her meanwhile i had only her and now shes gone as well i fucking hate everything now fuck,3.0
2762,trở v� từ phan thiết đầy gió nắng và cát  sài gòn cũng có  thứ tương tự chỉ là thay cát thành bụi thay gió thành mưa thôi haha ,0.0
2763,im the kind who shows up  min before my shift starts cuz my anxiety tells me im going to be late if i dont leave an hr amp a half earlier,1.0
2764,scrwd you guys must be working really hard atm  nope not seen it meds lol,2.0
2765, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,0.0
2766,good morning and happy mothers day everyone ,0.0
2767,snappingturtle your personal quottaglinequot quotmessagequot thing gets sent to twitter when you update it  nimbuzz itd be cool to view the stream,0.0
2768,suplexii amp cassidy ,2.0
2769,ladygaga i agree sorry about that ,2.0
2770,figures now that caustic sends me the samples my lappy is dead  xx  to my friends place to download samples  ,0.0
2771,frankiethesats theyre all sold out ,2.0
2772,back from sonic with pat and ali now i gotta study for anthro ,2.0
2773,bandaidedtoes lifehouse ,0.0
2774,writerroxanne re bing as verb it has to compete with the crooner as well as the entrenched quot blingin quot ,0.0
2775,colin hanks is so cute ,0.0
2776,almostjapanese thans for following dear ,0.0
2777,morning beautiful day  be going for a walk and then some sunbathing me thinks,0.0
2778,rt   of those taking mefloquine lariam experience side effects  expert says risks are too high for military use https,1.0
2779,upulie sad to hear youve lost interest in uranus,1.0
2780, yay    im completely jealous though im dying for a new computer but cant seem to find one thats right for me,0.0
2781,is home ampamp tired  x,2.0
2782, i just want to talk about something as a kid i use to make fun of the emo kids that cut themselves i use to think it was the kind of thing people would only do for attention but ive recently been getting into it and im honestly embarrassed by my old perspective i was so judgemental and i never even took the time to understand why people do it cutting feels fucking awesome i want to do it every day for the rest of my life it feels like such a fucking relief  sorry if this is stupid i just want to talk about it  ,3.0
2783,watson takes the catch  gayle is gone  but it was wonderful  cricket,2.0
2784,causeimrossome ,2.0
2785,sonisphere hmmm well you said theyd all be rock based and the only one i can think of is school of rock  man i suck,2.0
2786,the edge do you ever feel like you are always on the edge of something like you have good days and everything is fine even great days but there is always this feeling like im going to fall over the edge like im on edge and the outcome wont be pretty whether it be me hurting myself or just having an epic breakdown like no other just on edge teetering and one day ill fall,3.0
2787,iamjreal im up and soo bored lets talk ,0.0
2788,is not feeling very well today ,2.0
2789,im tired of life i have never been really happy to live nothing drives me when i get out of bed i just do it because im alive but recently i became more and more depressed i failed during all highschool i fell in love with a girl i cant forget and she played with my emotions i started to fuck up badly after highschool i rapidly quit medical school after getting ghosted by the girl i spent a year trying to get a competition exam working alone and sometimes in a school i was neither in highschool nor college i experienced true loneliness and couldnt forget that girl i failed badly that exam and now i feel like utter trash because this is not something youre supposed to study full time since then i lost all motivation im used to getting mentally wrecked but that was too much im accepted in a shady university i dont want to go to if i go to itll mean that ill try again next year with the exam im supposed to register to it in the next few days and im starting to feel i should get back to scientific studies which i was terribly bad at in highschool but still got a good mark at the end of the year but its too late for it and even so i have such a bad academic record and weird ass studies during this year that i will never be accepted i feel like im doomed meanwhile the girl i talked about passed her medical first year which is nearly impossible and now has started her internship i feel like im done im just a shell now i have no future and should die the only supporting person i have is my mother who tries to push me to succeed i feel bad for her im such a disappointment with no talent im just a waste of time and money she would most likely be happier if i didnt even exist i keep isolating myself and it has come to a point where i weirdly enjoy hurting myself with solitudeneeded to get this off my chestps  im not english so sorry for the lame english,3.0
2790,renatebeate i hope you two have an amazing time  have a safe journey x,0.0
2791,lenaartis ups  so can i offer you a fresh natural orange juice instead,0.0
2792,photo getitgurl this picture is gorgeous this is what my summer will consist of   ,0.0
2793,fixing up may car ,0.0
2794,wisdom tooth is growing ive got a toothache ,2.0
2795,missed the phone call ,2.0
2796,karenstrunks i dunno he just asked for our websites names he said this can be your home from home aw bless his big heart ,0.0
2797,just finnished cleaning the rabbit hutches and now gonna have tea ,0.0
2798,missshokordj lucky you with your japanese golden week i have no more days off this week  i work in office administration by the way,2.0
2799,mesodc rotflmmfao dont come for my kitten cat well theres no way to say that unhomo ,2.0
2800,ocd false memory please help me in this regardocd false memoryim really struggling and strucked in the pastthat ive done something wrongplease help me,3.0
2801,good morning  it�s a quiet morning only me and my laptop ,0.0
2802,hell fire england have just been beaten by the dutch at cricket ,2.0
2803,i love nates mom she made breakfast burritos  hmm and had chocolate milk,0.0
2804,its sunday  i missed church  up and studying,2.0
2805,logitech theyre kicking us out of the office ,2.0
2806,looking for job as an rn barely anything available at orlando health and while id really rather not work for florida i may have to ,2.0
2807,what happen to my phone can connet to the internet ,2.0
2808,i was hoping there was still money hidden in my room but there isnt ,2.0
2809,goodnite  this time i am ashamed of how many tweets ive sent today ,2.0
2810,confused and frustrated i am on my intern right now and ive been suffering from game addiction to cope with my depression and it really affected my job really badly by doing many mistakes and now i want to set things right but it seems its more of a downhill to me as theres a favoritism in the workplace getting scolded onesided even though its not my fault and my good performance are just getting ignored telling my problems to my parents will just got me insulted and getting scolded im confused on what to do right now,3.0
2811,willbrowning cant wait to hear you preach on quotwhat is allowable by god in the bedroomquot  ,0.0
2812,listening to mcfly on the laptop ,0.0
2813,leannexo  yeah she was you should have seen the reaction she got o it was unbelievable  i know i went for george aswell ,2.0
2814,i thought we ran out of popsicles and i just found a grape on hidden in the back score ,0.0
2815,ugh why am i awake ,2.0
2816,xcandiee ouhwell u not the only one who is sickim sick too ,2.0
2817,tommyreza copy amp paste has been available for jailbroken iphones for ages im looking forward to turn by turn gps ,0.0
2818,aionayase i preordered aion but have not recieved any codes to join in either of the beta weekends advertised  how i get them,2.0
2819,sohotneedat least an opened window  did i mention that i felt a bit hot british weather needs to make up its mind x,2.0
2820,  rove your the most funniest person ever  i love you ,0.0
2821,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
2822,fabioespindula its getting cold here ,2.0
2823,i am worried about my dad ,2.0
2824,said bye to danny  our  months of nonstop texting is officialy over stupid mexico,2.0
2825,roblawton i will be so jealous i cant afford one til next month ,2.0
2826,  over  inches of rain fell in the watershed overnight more on the way trips canceled for today ,2.0
2827,time for the hillsssssssssssssssssssssssssss ,0.0
2828,i feel like a failure and objectively i probably am in many ways first post ever i dont really know what im doing but im going through shit ive been clinically depressed for as long as i can remember but im at an extreme low point my boyfriend of  years dumped me in a nasty and abrupt way and a week later im in the process of moving out of our house im very isolated and have no friends in the vicinity  he and our dog were pretty much my world my reaction has been to quit my job and leave town because the only place i have to go is to my family home on the other side of the country i feel like i have failed at every aspect of life and as i wasnt terribly attached to being alive in the first place its taking more will power than i have to get my life back together im not sure im looking for advice or just commiseration but as i said im very isolated and just needed to vent,3.0
2829,rt cmaj more responsible media reporting particularly on celebrity suicide deaths could boost helpseeking httpstcodgshckwpvi ga,0.0
2830,averagejenn hehe thank you just a bunch of left over ingredients thrown in to make the ice cream exciting yum ,0.0
2831,i might do it my grades have been slipping because im tired of schoolmy parents asked why my grades are slipping this quarter i decided to be honest told them im unmotivated to do anything maybe i shouldve lied and said oh my b ill do better next time because they got real mad that i am unmotivated and told me to adjust this mindset i can tell they are very disappointed that im letting up during the most important year for college  grade anyway what i can remember from the scolding are two things if i dont go to an elite university im going to bring shame to the family and also that they had spent some  for sat tutoring so i need to guarantee a  deep down answer is no i dont have much confidence in myself but i know saying no to these questions will not get me anywhere so i just said answered yesi have been contemplating suicide for quite a while because i have felt like a failure for almost always not getting things done on time for being so unmotivated for being a disorganized mess being incompetent at everything i do this is my breaking point i guessi know its just some stupid numbers but if i dont make it past  on the sat i might actually do it itll be the last time ill disappoint someone,3.0
2832,godawgs sic em therealnathanjr,1.0
2833,dressjunkie dont i know it i live in the middle of nowhere my house is spider central ,2.0
2834,rt jremys hate being sad but its motivational,2.0
2835,finished dance  gonna miss everyone bbq tomorrow  exams tomorrow,2.0
2836,yeh that last tweet was for cazsmash damn you twitter ,2.0
2837,drivebc  sigh  so sad 😢😢,2.0
2838,around  i lost all  and internet options on my iphone kind of bummed guessing it will be the same all day tomorrow so stoked ,2.0
2839,i feel like im mad and sad for my mom too she has loved two other people like they were her own sons and i fee ,1.0
2840,damn this is fun really ,0.0
2841,just remembered she has the dentist laster dammnnn ,2.0
2842,cluelessbimbo not when im over skint before i even start saving for the happy things in life ie tour ,2.0
2843,have to vent this is my first time posting and just created my account ive lurked on here for a while now and ive been so tempted to post but always decided not to but since im drunk i think i can do it now and then regret it tommorow haha and idk if ill keep it up when i wake up hungover well see im  years old and i have no one no girlfriend or friends no close connections with anyone im in a dead end job and day by day struggling to keep going on years ago i witnessed something traumatic as a kid a dead body and after that i just shut down ive never really recovered i couldnt talk to anyone so i was bullied in highschool and then my grandparents passed my way of coping was to fake it and pretend i was happy and normal and thats when the bullying atoppedi ended up officially diagnosed with depression anxiety and ptsd and told i should be on meds i refused and just did counselling in high school but once i graduated i lost that and spiralled out of control for two years now ive been getting better but lately im just struggling to keep going i feel broken physically and mentally every day i wish i could go back in time and change shit change ever seeing what i saw change how i reacted but i cant i just wanna feel normal for one day i wanna feel like an actual human being i wanna have an actual relationship with someone i wanna feel like i actually belong like im worth something im not just some thing to treat like shit i wish it didnt take me getting drunk to say this shitf vut thats depression lol i just feel so alone and so dysfunctional but im trying i go out of my way to pretend im fine and try to make everyone happy with this facade vut deep down i feel empty i dont think im suicidal i just dont know how to live thats what terrifies me the most i just wanna feel ok for once i doubt many people if any will read this and thys ok i guess i just needed to publicly admit this stuff for once im not ok im fucking depressed im terrified im so fucking lonely and i dont know what in gonna do i need a direction i need something to get better to stop feeling empty but im trying it just doesnt seem to be enough,3.0
2844,hey songzyuuup whats ur background qqn   treysongz live gt ,0.0
2845,melodylealamb i just dropped mine at school  filling in passport applications then finishing a couple miniatures  enjoying the quiet ,0.0
2846,ik im annoying but like i just really love tehyng and i dont like knowing hes sad and hurting ,0.0
2847,cant post them yet though i alone have used  gb of bandwidth this month ,2.0
2848,mental health campaigns make me feel even more suicidal than usual for context in canada we have this yearly thing called bell lets talk its something along the lines of bell telecommunications company will donate ¢ for every textcallhashtag i was feeling a lot more suicidal then usual yesterday and seeing all those posts makes me feel like worse usually just a lurker here but needed to vent ,3.0
2849,i tried to kill myself two days ago clearly wasnt very successful i regretted it immediatly and got out of the hospital today but since i thought it was my final day i sent out a cryptic kind of goodbye statement how do i face my friends now what should i say i dont want to act more distant than i already do since people seemed genuinely worried but i dont know what to do,3.0
2850,pagitt perfect  maybe we can have a drink with gavin after your lo and his concert   ,0.0
2851,developit winter approaches ,0.0
2852,cikbedah calm down calm down not good for your heart this storm shall pass ,0.0
2853,online help i dont really know whats going on with me completely  but i feel like its anxiety and depression id like to talk to someone about things going on but dont have anyone in my life to talk to and i also am afraidtoo nervous to go to the doctor to talk about it are there any reputable places online that would offer something similar free is ideal im not necessarily looking for a diagnosis more to just get things off my chest and have someone to help talk some things out of me in regards to different things ive had going on sorry if the post sounds kinda generic  im just kinda lost in a dead end right now and dont know where else to turn to ,3.0
2854,thai for tea tonight  mmmm money bags  be nice if they were real money bags,0.0
2855,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
2856,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
2857,nickcarter hey nick twit me im about to sleep and i need a good night of yours hehehe ,0.0
2858,shotbyfau wah nice ,0.0
2859,hi there folks hope youre having a great day amp not suffering with hayfever as much as me my tablets dont seem to work anymore ,2.0
2860,it seems like its so easy for most people to find love but for me its like climbing a mountain and its depressing i know there are a lot of people like me and i have a lot to be grateful for but most people i know got married in their mid or late twenties and seem so happy i want to get married someday but the more guys i date the more i lose hope i either get ghosted or rejected by guys im interested in ive tried relaxing my standards but it doesnt make a difference what type of guy i date obviously im not going to choose someone i dislike but ive dated guys that im normally not attracted to and somehow they still end up ghosting me in my early  i got into a few long term relationships but they didnt work out i try to convince myself that im single at heart so it doesnt feel like im totally missing outi want to blame dating apps but some of my friends met their boyfriends online i dont want to feel depressed over this but i feel so undesirable and no matter what my family and friends say about me im convinced im not that likeable i have a diagnosis and im taking my medications but meds dont make you happy they just alleviate the symptoms i exercise and read spiritual books but i still keep having these negative thoughts about myself ,3.0
2861,it is a sad day today  ,2.0
2862,wooo finely got push notifications on  thanks tap tap  now beejiveim and facebook please  ,0.0
2863,wow reallllly baddddd accident hope everythings ok ,2.0
2864,izahoor sorry to hear that bud ,2.0
2865,hot chocolate in bed you can tell ill be  next month ,2.0
2866,will i every get over being depressed and anxious all the time i have autism so life was going to be hard anyways i started feeling depressed when i was  and also super stressed out im  now and i want this problem to end im very worried because my physical health is really taking a hit and im mentally exhausted i know there are plenty of things and habits i need to change but i do not have to energy or willpower anymore ive tried a lot of things but because of the autism and the fact that sometimes i dont understand what people mean it gets confusing no one in my personal life knows im autistic as a female who is highfunctioning i can mask or act normal people really dont know im autistic and its a like crazy i feel like i cant tell anyone because it would ruin my relationships with so many peoplean advice would be apperciated deeply by my at this point since my friends and family are very unable to help me,3.0
2867,just getting homesucks to be designated driver ,2.0
2868,how would you prevent your younger self to become anti social it seems to me that depressed people oftentimes have been social at one point and then started isolating themselves not going out with friends and losing touch with them now some mate of me is doing just that at the time as a person who spends much time online i fear i know the path down that will lead what would you say to your younger self to prevent further travelling down,3.0
2869,abbyrosia thank you ,0.0
2870,entroemcee i put your birthday note on my studio wall ,0.0
2871,i cant get over how old jacko is now  i hope he posted a blog like he did last year about growing up,2.0
2872,i must say my bed is comfy but i guess i should get the ball rolling cause the weekend was a waste  boo to homework,2.0
2873,is watching extreme home make over and has a bad tummy ache ,2.0
2874,getting ready for a rough one at work ,2.0
2875,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
2876,frankfil think so now i cant redeem things from the app store ,2.0
2877, oi we is not sad ,2.0
2878,rt  bro fucking deadass i click  fortnite video in my recommended and this is the first thing i see can we hit  likes for t,0.0
2879,writing essays ,2.0
2880,im lost like the title says im lost i know a  year old kid shouldnt be lost because my life hasnt even begun but honestly fuck that im lost completely lost i have no idea what i want what im doing what ive done what i will do im just existing but even then i feel like im not doing it right i just feel fucking hollow inside theres no me to me theres just my name and what my friends know about me thats all i feel like killing myself is the only answer but im too scared to even go through with that i just want everything to stop until i figure out whats going on,3.0
2881, they can if you use tweetdeck ,0.0
2882,is glad her running partner was impressed with todays performance  even if he is in mumbia  ,2.0
2883,teddysalad  congrats on  teddy  thats quite a milestone ,0.0
2884, aaww why you sad ,2.0
2885,going to lunch with my fam  then back my aunts place to play wii with my cousins,0.0
2886,rovil sorry you have to do expense reports on a saturday  check out expensifysaves oodles of time httpbitlycrzdc,2.0
2887,babysinead ugh ive got one too ,2.0
2888,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
2889,cakesandbakes yeah im goin in for onsale but im on hols when theyre here ,2.0
2890,my girls are still sleeping i poked them a little but they just grumbled and snuggled down farther dog doesnt even want to get up lol ,0.0
2891, yeah but i did cupcakes last week ,2.0
2892,is freezing   c aircon office still  ,2.0
2893,spent the weekend building forts in the living room flying kites and playing rockband  it has been a good cheap weekend ,0.0
2894, gskank and zack singing journey,0.0
2895,taskbaarchitect and why the hell didnt you call me for that ,2.0
2896,at home ,0.0
2897,i need some advice so im a  year old male and in my whole life i have had  girlfriends not that thats a huge deal or anything i grew up with not a lot of friends and a pretty shy kid so i never went up to people and introduced myself to people and stayed to myself i hated school cause im insecure though im told im not bad looking i just dont like myself and i find it really hard to put myself out there i like being around certain people but i feel like they dont like me or im annoying them cause i annoy myself honestlyif you took the time out of your day to read this thanks and please comment any advice you have or tips to work on not being so awkward and shy,3.0
2898,bellware not an easy place for me to access   taskbased ux is something ive been thinking about id like to hear the criticisms,2.0
2899,you know what earlier this year i decided to pick one thing to focus on and be happy about since my life felt like the living embodiment of that dog in his apartment meme where everything is on fire and yet everything is finewhat one thing did i decide to base my happiness on since my new husband is emotionally abusive i live in a life full of debt with step kids who constantly remind me that i the one who have been in their life the most and done the most of the mothering am not their mother and who work an incredibly mundane job over  hours a week that still allows me to be poor the one thing i decided to take joy in this yearthe chicago bears are good,3.0
2900,learn how to forgive let all your anger go  psychologically when people reported higher levels of forgiveness they also tended to report better health habits and decreased httpswwwpsychologytodaycomusbasicsdepression httpswwwpsychologytodaycomusbasicsanxiety and anger levels   psychology todaythis is so true lately ive been forgiving those who have hurt me and i feel like a much happier person before i wanted to burn the world and everybody in it now i learnt to forgive and let go of that negative energy,3.0
2901,chelzeymccrazy alexis castles daughter shes awesome  nathanfillion,0.0
2902,when a simple mistake makes you want to end it all sometimes i think im okay i think im fine and then one small little thing goes wrong and the facade ive built for myself and for the world come tumbling down im just a fraud leaving a trail of fuck ups behind i dont know what im doing i have never known i lay awake at night hoping that people dont find my bread crumbs of incompetence but i know that they will they will call me out and let me know what i did wrong and then my feelings of uselessness will be validated today  i made a small error on a work form i sorted it out and there was a happy ending at least for my boss i fixed the work problem but i couldnt fix the problem inside my head i sat frozen at my desk for  minutes thinking about all the ways i could kill myself for being such a useless employee i wish i could say this was the first time ive felt this way im alive because i know suicide would devastate my boyfriend  he envisions a future with me hes so sure were gonna make it sometimes i think were gonna make it too i dont want to tell him about the sometimes where i think i wont be there for him in  yearsi dont want to disappoint my siblings  they depend on me for financial support just as much as i depend on them i dont want them to struggle i could keep rambling but i wont just needed to get some of these thoughts out thx for reading ,3.0
2903,has got terrrible pain ,2.0
2904, haha yeah  i saw your thing on facebook and i was like omg yay hahah i need more friends to follow hah it is cool ,0.0
2905,jonathanrknight prior commitment you where soo wish i was there tonight but will wait until may   u gonna be at launch party,0.0
2906,doing my english correction school starts tomorrow ,2.0
2907,mobile phone separation anxiety is real and its getting worse  via dlavenda marketingtrends,1.0
2908,im freaking dying without you belenobando  ,2.0
2909,sad that danny got the bootlast time i felt this way was when elliot yamin was eliminated ,2.0
2910, where can i find pics from the stars or you fine just tired like ever  and you,0.0
2911,rt  the college you attend shouldnt define who you are just because you go to a community college you are no less of a per,2.0
2912,alex kingston in a lowcut summer dress superb tv then  minutes into  part series shes in chilly scotland home of heavy coats ,2.0
2913,chuck the soft ball back that robin and i threw at you i dont understand how god could take you away from us you were only  ,2.0
2914, i knowww ive lost at least  votes through this the link isnt wokring  campaign manager what do i doo,2.0
2915,god i want to get out of high school so im a sophomore in high school and i hate so many things about it first off more the half of my grade is full of egotistical assholes who have a lot of fun picking on the rest of us the other part of my grade are mostly pretty nice people but i feel like i can connect with very few of them probably due to my insecurities ive been going to therapy for a while due to being incredibly sad about myself and the relationships ive failed to make but i feel like its not doing enough part of the reason i want to leave is because i can reinvent myself at college its so hard to make changes when youre known a certain way ive thought about suicide cause maybe that leads to another chance at life im not going to do it cause i know college is around the corner but i need it to come sooner i want to study what i want to study especially after the school fucked up my schedule sucks cause we have some very good resources that i feel are wasted on me but i think that about a lot of things anyways thanks for reading my rant,3.0
2916,demi lovatooo ddlovato  i stay up late and wake up early for your tweets i really want a reply from you ,2.0
2917,tyleigh thanks hope you find a job soonoh almost forgot i landed a role in an indie flick  my first audition ever lol,0.0
2918,tomorrow with the dawn ill put my mask on once again it will hide tonights soul laid bare in anguish people will see what they need to see from me only when alone can i show my true face,3.0
2919,im lonely and would like some friends regardless of age can anyone please be my friend im depressed and lonely no friends in real life barely any i still talk to online im  years old if anyone wants to be my friend message me please 🙂 i might not respond until tommorow its  am the time im posting this but i usually stay up late,3.0
2920,santisunshine   i never noticed how my hair is really straight lol im not mad ,0.0
2921,ahhaa josh is so lol ,0.0
2922,hmmm doess anyone want a kittenseriously lol         ,0.0
2923,separation anxiety is setting in wife left baby with childcare while working out  secs away but still a scary proposition  paranoid,2.0
2924,or should i just stoptbvh i feel so sad now,1.0
2925,visiting denmark and people keep looking at me and saying shit like lille pik hahaha google translate even hotel staff and stuff like that apparently people in denmark say shit like that pretty often they also try to classify where im from pretty often a lot of them know english but instead they just make fun of me in danishthey also say paranoid hahahaand lots of other words i cant make sense of that are clearly danish people making fun of me for being a foreigneryoull say no but youre not here so you dont know,3.0
2926,chrisslater seriously i was sitting here wondering why i havent got any alerts for like  hours piece of shit ,2.0
2927,managed to stab my little finger with a glass shard damn now the muscle in the finger is sore  and inflamed ,2.0
2928,i dont think ive ever been more happy amp sad at the same time,1.0
2929,rt gritcult not sureive just spent the last  hours investigating looking at more data searchinginternet forums and what not this f,0.0
2930,do antidepressants help anyone ive decided to finally book an appointment and seek help for years ive put it off under the some what ridiculous prejudice against medication mucking me up even more i was just wondering if anyone could share their experience with medication thanks in advance,3.0
2931,wilfleming i do what i can do help whenever possible lol  thanks for setting up my bbm wil   ,0.0
2932,my life is one big drama but i love it gonna miss my girlies and lesbian kisses ,2.0
2933,feeling terribly lonely and tired ive always been the mother of any group im a part of and i dont mind it if i could make someone feel loved and supported then thats a wonderful thingbut as of late i cant help but feel selfish and lonelynobody is there for me the same way im there for them and its not like im the way that i am to get anything in returnim just lonelyi love my current friends and i would never say they dont do enough or anything like that they are the way they are and i would never change them i love them as they arebut the fact of the matter is they just cant give me what my heart craves and needsi just need someone i could turn to someone i could be weak with someone i could talk seriously with and be taken seriously without being brushed off or be given tough loveim alone i have friends and family who objectively care about me and whom i love very dearlybut at the same time i am terribly alone i have no one who understands my heart no one i could turn to id be lying if i said this doesnt attribute to my depression and suicidal thoughtsi only exist for others sakesim not meant to be saved or helpedand knowing thisis incredibly painful and incredibly lonely,3.0
2934,im tired from walking my dog hmm maybe a quick snooze ,0.0
2935,oh seems the playable joker  exclusivity on arkham asylum is much bigger than thought ,2.0
2936,onlyoneunited geordies to go down ,0.0
2937,please someone how can i be more healthy in my coping i have manic depression and ptsd diagnosed when i was still in high school and i cant go to a therapist because health insurance costs  of my entire income ive been drinking to try and numb myself against the flashbacks but im only making myself more sick in the long run ive tried working out but most of the time i hardly have the energy to make my bed and when im manic i cant even focus on anything i love baking and cooking but its the same for those things no energy or focus i just want to find a healthy way to cope with everything early deaths of friends seem to keep happening and i cant seem to go out without being paranoid i just want to be sane again,3.0
2938,hazelnut latte  yuuummmanytime of the day,0.0
2939,sad rejected again,2.0
2940,what happened to the sunshine ,2.0
2941,really great day today picnic at the riverwalk ,0.0
2942,anybody get sad hearing about other peoples families so im  and recently got permanently exiled from home meaning ill never see my family again this follows  years of us hating each other and the weird part is that no person i have ever met has hated me sure some dont like me but my own flesh and blood are the people that tell me to never come home again so this winter break im a teacher ive spent it in my apartment lonely as fuck since everyone is gone just waiting until the break is overmeanwhile my girlfriend who ive only been dating for a few months is back home she talks about spending time with her brothers talking with cousins neices neighbors and just overall taking about all the traditions they have and what family means to her it made me sad even when all i want to do is be happy for her that she has something so special i feel like im too much of a downer for her this break has been really hard on me and i dont think she was ready for the crazy that sometimes comes out of me,3.0
2943, marijuana is a drug known for its use of relieving symptoms of chronic pain anxiety even cancer symptoms etc,2.0
2944,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
2945,hate to leave  but catch you shortly x,2.0
2946,renothegirl we love cameras too which one do you want the most could spend so much money in the lomo shop ,0.0
2947,idk what to do idk what the point is anymore but that probably doesnt mean anything coming from a spoiled snotty  old brat a lot of things in life seem so boring and irrelevant to me after try hard for months i havent found anything i actually enjoy or anyone i like being around now of course i still have moments when im happy but i feel that they are not worth all the depressing thoughts ive tried finding something i enjoy but nothings ever worked out i know i may just be saying that because im only thinking of the bad things that have happened at the moment but the things ive really hoped to do have all failed me but i do kind of deserve it im a huge douche to my parents just because my mom took my computer away until i got my work done i pulled her chair out from under her and she starting crying not because it hurt but because she thought her dickhead of a son hated her i felt terrible after because shes so nice to me and always want to spend her time with me and to return the favor i was a jerk to her i just cant bring myself to apologize i really want to find a point to all of this so i can live my life to the fullest but i dont have a clue where to start i also want to treat my parents nicer and have a decent relationship with them but im a total airhead and i have such a hard time controlling my emotions i dont think i have anything severe because ive never carried out any of my plans but im still looking for some advice thanks for reading this far i wish you the best,3.0
2948,woahitsandrew to relieve stress i naaap   or read,0.0
2949, boo country ,2.0
2950,im afraid i cant even trust my memory anymore recently i fell into one of the worst depressive episodes ive ever had and i have to say i am rapidly losing hope not in a i want to kms sort of way but in a i have no strength to keepthis up anymore which may be even more scarythe episode started right after i finished and delivered the first big work the company i started a few years ago the event was technincally a success i got a lot of praise and some new clients are rolling in or would be if i could bring myself to pick up some calls or reply to some emails the thing is i was miserable during the process i now nearly  weeks later i have not been to work once i feel like shit i cant focus on anything im panicking all the time crying all the time but mostly not bearing to move at all i have inhabited my room quite exclusevely these last couple of weeks the pain of getting the work done even before was enormous i dont recognize any of it as mine me having any shred of anything seems like its just the universe making a mistake i dont recall much from the weeks leading up to the event for me its like i was feeling the exact same just for some reason back then i had the stregth to push throughthing is when i showed up at my therapist  days after the event and described this  he was very surprised he said i looked genuinely happy the week before and genuinely happy about having some progression with my work i argued for a bit that made no sense to me i was not well i dont remember being well i remember doing stuff but i dont remember ever feeling any betteri have no idea if that is truemy close friends were also shocked when i mentioned i was going through a very low moment nearly the same reaction as my therapist i dont doubt they are right i may have been happier for a brief moment but literally now that everything i worked for the last  years is going according to plan i shut down this is not the first time this happens i started and dropped out of college twice before deciding on another life direction my second time leaving university whithout a degree the way i remember it i was very suicidal and i felt like if i pushed it any more id break and not come outbut now learning how i heavily distort things in my mind i dont know anymore the people around me at the time dont think i was suffereing at the time i always dismissed that as me being good at not showing itwhat if i was ok and kust snapped once i started getting close to accomplishing anything if i snap and just so strongly want to die when i have any perspective of success that i have to completely abandon what i was doing immedeately what future can i haveits not just the business and college looking back i may have been operating like this my entire lifenow im here  living with my parents never had a serious relationship not a dollar to my name dont know how to anything well cant interact with people i dont have money i dont know how to work at anything really i look the worst i have ever looked i feel like i have just let my youth go by and did nothing with it now im just getting older and have no perspectivei dont know what to do and im very tired of tryingtldr      people around me tell me ive had happy better moments in life i genuinely dont remember and am starting to see a pattern of me running away from anything that can help me in life,3.0
2951,depression is so horrible i just want my little sister to not suffer anymore   my step bro has it too at the moment its just awful ,2.0
2952,wants to sleeeeep so tired ,2.0
2953,people with social anxiety anyone constantly let down and hurt when they try their best to open up i never really had anyone no shit i have social anxiety and depression anyone have people theyre somewhat close to but not really it feels like ive never really been true friends with anyone except for maybe five years agoi feel like in my past ive tried my best to befriend and talk to people of course i cant do that everyday then i wouldnt struggle with depression and social anxiety but when its the first day of school first day of practice first day of something new with new people ive always tried my best to become friends with people like i know im not the best socially or i wouldnt have social anxiety but i tried to do what isnt weird to not be quiet to open myself up to act friendly to people to try to make jokes  im not completely out of it i might not know what is the right thing to say to someone but i certainly know what i shouldnt act like and what other people do to make friends and everything and at first it works out well but the friendship never progressesits like theres a giant barrier between just talking a bit everyday at work or school then to actually being friends and spending time together and talking to each other at other times sometimes the first day isnt too bad i meet a lot of friendly people and i say all the right things but as time goes onthats all i get to im like the friend you make on the first week of school then as the time goes on they start really meeting their true friendsand from all those experiences where the people who i tried to be friends with and started off well but never really went well its like i really tried to be myselflet myself out and express myself but they it never worked outi think thats part of why im so socially anxious and depressed day to day im always let down when i am myself i forgot a lot of those instances but it still shaped how i am today every time i tried to really be myself and talk im let down and i get my heart broken i think a part of why im quiet in class or in a group is because of this too i talk out my mind and try to say the right things but im afraid that they will hate and disapprove what i say and funnily someone else will say something thats just the same thing on my mind and they get an applause and treated like some genius but its not just all in my head either cause it never goes right every timeim a hs senior now and ive been thinking i have some guys in my class who sits next to me who i talk to everyday not friends but we just know each other and talk a bit in class everyday just friendly talks but were not friends but i remember freshmen year when i tried to befriend him when i first got to school and it never really working out at all i have a lot of people like that its like the moment i try to be myself and try to actually become friends they start to not like me and drifts away as if im just meant to be an acquaintance or a classmate or just someone you dont really know that sometimes you small talk with but not friends especially real onestldr i dont have anyone but i do have classmates and people i know little who i talk to sometimes not out of pity and yet when i try to open up it all falls apart im constantly let down when i speak my mind and try my best so no shit im scared out of my mind when i have to talk a lot or speak up im gonna be fighting loneliness for a long time i know some people might have it worse and i am m truly grateful for some people ive met but i dont want it to be like this for the rest of my life i just wish it gets better cause i have no one rn ill try,3.0
2954,  the real meaning of twitter a must read  we are one,0.0
2955,u know its bad when i watched that movie love for sale on bet ,2.0
2956,reading heat mag loving the sun from inside ,2.0
2957,rodneyramsey lovely  dont mind the alarm when it goes off  ,0.0
2958,so so so sad hadnt even confirmed date of wedding with shona ,2.0
2959,i cant wait till tomorrow    ,0.0
2960,gary papa you wil be missed ,2.0
2961,azoslrashid he died dont remind me i cant handle it ,2.0
2962,ive had a throbbing headache for  hours now nothing is touching it ,2.0
2963,presssquare ddddd poor you ,2.0
2964,probs would have been juuuuust fine with one shot not two oh well fun night out in the a ,0.0
2965,depression thanks for taking the time to read this ive been thinking about drinking anti freeze for about  to  months now  i head its not a terrible way to go your body just kind of shuts down i also thought about lighting charcoal in my garage and just drifting off i think i might do it tommorow i dont want to keep living i go married in january and thing arnt working out its  my fault  but i dont want to cant fix it i just want to sleep  and feel like shit i dont even want to put the effort in to have sex we havent had sex since out honeymoon i have a house a good job and friends and family at  but ive never felt worse i just want it to all be over ive gone to a counselor and a psychiatrist who has given me lots of different pills to help me with my deprsion it just needs to be over i know people will tell me its selfish of me to do but i disagree i think it takes a strong person to actually follow thought with it o just wanted to get this off of my chest  before tommorow,3.0
2966,honestly im sitting here in my room high asf and i have come to a conclusion ive been running from this for a while but i feel as if i need to type this out i feel as if i not only have anxiety but i must now admit that i have depression as well ive had it for a while and im just coming to terms with it i cant necessarily tell you when it started because ive always been acting odd as of the past  years but specifically it picked up most noticeably at the beginning of senior year i had stated feeling the pressures of football and oncoming college i started smoking gasweed then too anyway yep and then my senior year itself my depression pipe line started to pick up but it stated not being about football it started to become more about my life was i doing enough why am i not maximizing my potential as a human why dont i try to pursue more girls shit i work out and have been told im cute numerous of times why dont i make more moves not tryna gloat at all i tryna explain that despite that positive im not doing shit and feel as if im failing went from being afraid of rejection to afraid of the future of that relationship why am i starting to feel more lonely than ever then i graduated and the anxiety of uncertainty stated to creep up through the summer i didnt really do much i went to the beach but that was about it i wish i was with a girl then but thats besides the point i wasnt playing football anymore but i dont care then college starts to creep upas i stepped into this new landscape of a social life i stated to get a little more excited but not a big one more of a calm one then i move in and start going to clubs and parties fuck going to clubs now but i still think i need to try to go to more parties imma have to start pregaming before hand to build my continence and mood up more so my mood but anyway i started to feel empty going to these parties i still do then i sit in my dorm sometimes lonely as  fuck and i get to thinking wtf am i doing with my life i often go through my day going through the motions i feel like i cant talk to anybody i feel lonely as fuck ive been single for too long i feel my loneliness over the years has negatively altered my mind shit i try to hold onto past happy memories because i feel as if i wont have much happiness in the future i often daydream about myself in happier moments more than im actually enjoying the moments im in now now here i am sitting in my room high writing this out shit i went from getting high on occasion to smoking just about everyday youd probably say stop smoking but tbh smoking is what helped me be more honest with myself about all this idk what to do i just thought that maybe typing this out could help me i need to figure some shit out ,3.0
2967,i love my naughty dms ,0.0
2968,stolee its been that way for a while even last time you posted about it it was already working this way i just didnt say anything ,0.0
2969,yup and were headed for an imminent recession through which the bulk of the common people will receive no help to ,1.0
2970,picking peter up from union stationperhaps making today a heavy drinking dayour girlfriend left today ,2.0
2971,collageartist i do have it in green strange glitch on the site will get that corrected asap  thanks,0.0
2972,workin  in petersburg    txt  n  keep me company,2.0
2973,ughhh ii hate sitting under the dryer my ears are burning ,2.0
2974,omg just read that one of the passengers of the air france flight was this brazilian that was going to star on the german wicked  ,2.0
2975,i still cant find my another cinderella story dvd  aku mau liat lagiii,2.0
2976,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
2977, oh that sounds a little sick maybe stick to strawberry  its much safer ahah,0.0
2978,watching antiquesroadshow makes me sad that my grandparents were holocaust survivors no random knickknacks hand ,2.0
2979,music is the therapist i cant afford i just want to say how grateful i am to so many artistsesp  x,3.0
2980,freydrew ooh why are you going to seattle you arent already departing from btown are you ,2.0
2981,openwoc a few days and then give it another go sorry for all this trying around haha ,0.0
2982,wtf am i doing at ikea on a weekend bad plan  they are rockin bowie so thats something  minus  bowie ,2.0
2983,abishcp welcome to twitter   happy tweeting,0.0
2984,omg my stomach is amgry at me ,2.0
2985,was anyone able to get tickets for blink in san diego i cant get in it says quotoff sale onlinequot ,2.0
2986,minatsuchan yeahi remember that part of it  im sorry ,2.0
2987,summer lovin ,0.0
2988,aversesykes awwwh thanks aaron ,0.0
2989,me quotwell yes dear the is asked about college and got a muffin recipequot  similar  lol ,0.0
2990,ice cream is really really good except that its cold in the office today and im freezing ,0.0
2991,rt zohebsh किसान विरोधी मोदी सरकारमहाराष्ट्र में दो किसानों ने की आत्महत्या खुद ही चिता बनाकर लगाई आग ,0.0
2992,katie fought depression with exercise  and lost  pounds healthyfoodblog  ,1.0
2993, not too good sundayi have dinner with ppl i dun like ,2.0
2994,sweating to death and still without power all in all a crappy day ,2.0
2995,antigravitymag yes well keep in mind that steven grant is kind of a dick when writing reviews ,0.0
2996,playing solitaire cuz im bored  cool ,0.0
2997,heading to alabama tomorrow morning for my grandfathers funeral ,2.0
2998,what a fucked up night thanks desi ,2.0
2999,jonpinney sorry im playin monopoly w my fam it was equilibrium and i liked it it was good even my mom got into it lol ,0.0
3000,j alexanders im sorry nintendo but if im in a collared shirt then chances are youre staying home tonight ,2.0
3001,finally im back here in manila thank god for a safe and sound trip shalom ,0.0
3002,browsing zend framework quickstart guide ,0.0
3003,wont see my boy today ,2.0
3004,copydiva i miss you someone needs to keep me in line   mhsmc,2.0
3005,yeeeees today is payday but after bills n shyz ill still b broke ,2.0
3006,wheres my chapstick ,2.0
3007, try it can place an order now for next week even ,0.0
3008,just realized how big of a nerd i am found out netflix has  and giggled like a school girl ,0.0
3009,rt cenobiachantal aint nothing more important than your mental health  you can be the healthiest person physically  but mentally you c,0.0
3010,mriamtheclub hahaha lol how im dying ,2.0
3011,ready to go home and crash  not feelin this sinus infection at all  at least i have the bachelorette to cheer me up,2.0
3012, what i didnt see him ,2.0
3013,im tiyaaaad gnight twatter filipino heritage night tomorrow ,0.0
3014,rt majorpoonia be a puppet or be ready to die any pakistani politician who dares to question or bypass pak army  rulers of pak  he or,1.0
3015,thinking about the possibility of killing myself in the future might be helping me in the present most days i constantly think about the things that make me feel like my life and efforts to better it are hopeless things like my social life my professional life and my love life which are all almost completely stagnant i also tend to think a lot about mistakes i have done in the past that lead me to this point and how i dont feel like i can avoid doing them again or how they all confirm my theory that im an irredeemable failure im sure some can relate to these ruminationsfor the last couple of weeks i have made some small improvements to my life i am brushing my teeth and taking my medication more consistently i am exercising more frequently and i am socializing once in a while without it feeling excessively difficult i have noticed one change in my thought patterns that i believe might be helping me achieve these things every time i think about the future and how hopeless it seems i stop myself and think that if it ever gets that bad i will just finally kill myselfit doesnt feel like a healthy pattern of thought but somehow it has slightly calmed my anxiety of the future and my depressive thoughts regarding it i still have a long way to go to consider myself a healthy individual and a longer still road to feel like i am no longer a complete failure for the time being however i seem to be taking the first steps towards that future thoughts on the matter,3.0
3016,iamwaybeyond yup ,2.0
3017,brendafinkle yup me too  howya doing been disconnected from you lately ,2.0
3018,rt ani watch a man was saved by railway protection force rpf personnel amp other passengers after he attempted to commit suicide at mu,2.0
3019,i have no one in life i hop from place to place i am a transient i have almost no one in my life i feel as though i am estranged from my parents due to past trauma i see them only  times a year as i live in a different country from them i have  friends at school literally none i was severely bullied at my last school to the point where i had to drop out outside of school i live a transient life i hop from random family members to family friends or aquaintances places i have a boyfriend but he is long distance so it only makes so much of a difference im not close to my family in general ive lost everyone i was ever friends with i go to places alone i eat alone i do everything alone and i get weird looks for it i have no one i would be a good jane doe unidentified decedent because i could disappear and it would have limited effects on anyone apart from my boyfriend but hes too far away i am completely alone in person,3.0
3020,someone read my story please it will only take a minute i lay around on my bed all day i eat shit fucking food i dont do the things i want to do i dont study for the degree i want to help the people i lovei dont be mei dont exercise or lift weights so i end up a weak fucking pussy that cant physically stand up for himselfi dont fucking care about myselfbut one morning i got the fuck up out of bed all it took was one morning i ate clean as fuck then i told myself im doing this again tomorrow just one more fucking dayi did it again the next morning i told myself again just one more fucking daythen  months later im eating clean as fuck every day and its easyi went to the thrift store and got myself a bed after sleeping on the floor for over a year i built the coffee table that i was putting off for months i got up and studied fucking hard and got my marks damn that felt goodi bought a squat rack and lifted some heavy fucking weight every week i can squat  now hold up im fucking strong now im stronger than most people now ill have no problems if i ever need to stand up for myselfso i did i stood the fuck up for myself im strong enough to do it now im a beast i have couragei went out and destroyed everything that i had ever hoped to do and i was excited for tomorrow and the next day and for every day that i am so blessed to fucking experiencebut then i broke my anklei started skipping the gymi put off getting good food for myself the store is  miles away i cant walk that fari started eating junk food again i live next to macdonalds how handyall that processed sugar and meatits making me feelsickim weak again its making me feel sadim not the person i want to be anymore i feel depressedhow can i ever be happy like this this will never get betterbut now my ankle is healed i might try out the squat rack againim much weaker than before but this feels goodi can hobble all the way down to the store again it took me  hours just to get some fruit and vegetablesbut i woke up this morning feeling light and fresh who knew eating well could make you feel this goodits been  months and im getting much stronger again this feels good i can stand up for myself nowim eating well again im studying hard again im helping others againwait a minute this feels familiar this feeling this feeling of well beingits not high its not happiness it is just contentment and it feels fucking goodthis is peacefast forward another  months and i break my shoulder but this time i am ok with it i asked a stranger for help carrying my food home we caught the same bus so they were glad to helpi didnt squat big weights while my shoulder was broken but i did a lot of walking i did it before sunrise most mornings damn it feels good to get this air into my lungsi meditatedi adaptedi may not be able to do all of the things i want to do but i can do my best for what i have here and thats all i need this is just what life has given methank you for reading xx,3.0
3021,ikonora i went to church and had a family dinner cause my brother was in town for his best friends wedding and he left yesterday ,0.0
3022,just loves when time zones allow you to call people at past  in the morning even little nice annoying french girls on another continent ,0.0
3023,red lobster om nomnommy nom this has been a great day ,0.0
3024,joleighp its raining here  hows the weather in charlotte,2.0
3025,aliteralgirl i celebrated my oxford two year aniversary just under two weeks ago ,0.0
3026,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
3027,dangthinking about all the fing time i wasted with u too bad it took me this long to open my eyes finallyi can say im over it ,0.0
3028,romanfrancisco ill be using it to film a musicvideo end of may the lumix  wont be available yet id get that too  yeah,0.0
3029,schizophrenia and bipolar  abilify questions abilify is also prescribed for major depressive disorder  what percentage of the time compared to the other two conditions  for someone with only mdd that gets abilify prescribed does this suggest an extreme case of mdd,3.0
3030,note to all the spymaster players out there youve been unfollowed ,0.0
3031,seblefebvre have a nice day sebby ,0.0
3032, word up ,0.0
3033,ok ok ok i know i am sooo late right but i heard ego four times yesterday and it got stupider everytime i heard it am i a hater ,2.0
3034,wow what a weekendhot and bored ,2.0
3035,good morning one day left till asdfghjkl later were having a despedida for my tito and cousin  so early im gonna miss them so much,2.0
3036, aww im sure she will come up soon  xx,0.0
3037,in texas with megan  my day is getting better,0.0
3038,any one have ideas to help me  i want to get better but im mainly asking because every night i go to bed i wish to not wake up the next day im just tired of living in a world full of bullshit i wear shaded safety glasses at work so no one knows how tired i actually am half the time when im driving i want a accident happen to me that takes my life so i dont have to live in this nightmare anymore,3.0
3039,durbindigital thats what old markers are best for subtle shading and blending  ,0.0
3040,okay i just knocked the creativeblock wall down time to work again ,0.0
3041,has got a new job again so probably wont update this till the next time ,0.0
3042,bedtime legs hurt so bad  ,2.0
3043,boctweet it is a cool gherkin  the one i was at is more of a big cereal box with matchbox on side ,2.0
3044,rt fact when someone tickles you your laughter is actually a sign of panic anxiety and nervousness,2.0
3045,idk why im so hyper im jumping everyhere ugh lets let it be friday sweeney todd then cinco de mayo il those parties ,0.0
3046,rt subtextfantasy honestly bobs burgers cured my depression,1.0
3047,eating chrizo and egg while drinking diet pepsiim going to have nightmares on crack tonight ,2.0
3048,sooooooo wish i was at the beach right now ,2.0
3049,i feel like im sickdamn that sucks ,2.0
3050, im fine too  can u help me to spread this message,0.0
3051,i hope i made the cabonara right i got it wrong last time and it tasted like shit ,2.0
3052,kandy hurt he other leg now ,2.0
3053,edrafalko im really reaching the end of my rope here  i need income  and im seriously thinking no one likes me ,2.0
3054,httpbitlyswfdo  gentlesinner remember this ,0.0
3055,my  battle with obesity and depression almost killed me but i was stronger than i knew my battle actually httpstcovlpapkrqdh,2.0
3056,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
3057,is just chilling im so tirrrrred ,2.0
3058,gericaquinn oh wow ha of course hes my new love well  one ,0.0
3059,😭👏🏼✊🏼,2.0
3060,a simple trick to get rid of stress and anxiety in  minutes  httpstcopdxeaonkln,2.0
3061,jut woke up again  i got a night was awful ,2.0
3062,eating crumpets got to post a parcel today  x,2.0
3063,at work calculating and applying ,0.0
3064,ssris they seem to work sort of having read books like lost connections and manufacturing depression and knowing that ssris are barely more effective than a placebo i had very low expectations when my doctor put me on lexaproi figured besides sexual side effects doesnt matter i dont have sex whats the worst that could happen lets try iti think it actually helped i went from like like randomly crying all the time and having that pain in my chest to just numbim still a forever alone obese virgin loser and depressed it hasnt changed my behavior at all but the visceral deep literally painful sad feeling is mostly gone,3.0
3065,i feel like im losing my interest in everything i do before i used to enjoy playing and doing other daily activities but now i feel like im just doing them to distract me from being alone im stillyoung so i dont know if this is depression because everytime im alone theres this weird feeling i feel even though theres a lot of people around me i still feel alonebut loneliness can be solved by having someone to talk right but everytime i reach out to someone i still feel lonely and a sudden of lost of interest i always feel empty and longing for something i dont know i worry more than my usual self in school i laugh the most of the time but theres always the time i feel this emptinesseverything i do is just something to keep me away from this weird feeling ,3.0
3066,wishing i was at phish right now  fb,2.0
3067,hollywilli bless your heart  you may need to go to the er like i did that time you took me baby ,2.0
3068,i missed ymail so much im on a downloadingorganizing internet info frenzy hello first day high ,0.0
3069,alyssasurrett lucky you im going to miss my hot little roomie ,2.0
3070,youngq hopefully your coming to meet people with out meet amp greet ,2.0
3071,rt winterwitchevie i cant stay calm im not going to be nice or kind with people who hurt my family or make them sad hate me talk shi,0.0
3072,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
3073,breaking point i have tried everything to keep myself up overthinking the current situation but now i have not only lost my job but also health insurance i have never missed a payment or anything and not at the time they decide to cut off my health insurance i dont even wanna get out of bed anymore i try every day to not just break down and cry a lot of times unsuccessfully,3.0
3074, guess what i rented twillight last nite and gonna finally watch it today  it better be good lol,0.0
3075,just made a new shareparelli account ,0.0
3076,sipping raspberry lemonade and getting ready to go soak in the jacuzzi tub  ahhh this is the life but i do miss my boys  ,2.0
3077,today is a day that dfizzy should be in the trending topics put dfizzy in all your updates today from now on  dont put dfizzy in it,0.0
3078,lyricistjuice   why isnt the pic showing ,2.0
3079,in pain everyday stuck with feeling depressed lonely and tortured every single day and the only time i escape this is during sleepcant kms either just stuck   im so tired ,3.0
3080,my good old lexmark  is broke ,2.0
3081,doesnt have any friends on twitterr ,2.0
3082,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
3083,the next few weeks  after three weeks of serious suicidal thought noticing a pattern in my thoughts makes me hopeful for the first time in years the first few days i was planing on just ending it the  day i was thinking if im going to end it im going to do it right then thinking i would liquidate my  to go with the  in my pocket use that money to go to the places ive always wanted to go yellowstone british columbia then i moved on to the entire us so tonight in my usual dark thoughts i thought maybe i would get my passport go out of the us for the first time maybe escape everything and work around europe my suicidal thoughts seem to be getting more positive idk that makes me feel better ,3.0
3084,johnrhopkins they joke about my mam and sir still but its still really fun i never had a chance to visit but i really want to ,2.0
3085,gmorning review day and then going to see the classic crime tonight ,0.0
3086,cant get enough of kings of leon and fray  theyre awesome,0.0
3087,maybe i love flash lightening too much  i think i just overbleached my fringe ,2.0
3088,mattxwes im sorry your grandma is sick  cheer up,2.0
3089,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
3090,why is being depressed a complaint my parents look at my depression and suicidal ideation as something as little as a complaint my mother and my father always tell me that all i do is complain about things and act like something horrible is happening when it obviously isnt a lot of times they say it out loud in front of my face that my feelings are usually made up of complaints and that makes me feel like emotions arent valid i just hope someone on reddit can help but im already hopeless and dead inside so idk how anyone can help me im so sorry for wasting your time if you read this i know there are other people to help on this sub reddit,3.0
3091,summer should not be cold its cold ,2.0
3092,i feel depressed anytime my friends tell me about their relationships i feel jealous and really downim just sad that im missing out on something everyone else seems to be experiencing,3.0
3093,exam schedule for me wedreligion math thurs social studies ila math  friscience and spelling ,2.0
3094,oh nonot again ,2.0
3095,stinkweasels meh why quotmehquot are you sad because you didnt get your jesus phone yet ,2.0
3096,just woke upyawn hubby alrdy off to friday prayersi have to do the laundry n unpack now   httptweetsg,2.0
3097, so airforce no au ,2.0
3098,more then half of the people i invited didnt show up last nightwithout letting me know  but the party was  though we had a nice time,2.0
3099,just came home  feeling good but im afraid something happened to my best friend after her fight weith her boyfriend ,2.0
3100,sadnessjust read that farrah fawcett died todayshell be missed ,2.0
3101,suppressed appetite and loss of sleep on prozac hi i recently went back on prozac after being off of it for  years i had started prozac when i was  and was on it until i was  ive noticed i have no energy to eat or if i eat i get full after a few bites i also cant sleep at all but im so tired when i wake up to be honest i cant remember if i felt like this before i started taking it as ive only really had a problem with my appetite and sleep recently can anybody else relate ive been back on it for about  weeks,3.0
3102,nickbain fuck modesty be amazing be you ,0.0
3103,i hate my net router ,2.0
3104,nadiais eh woman did you even start your wallpaper yet  haha please say no and make me feel better ,0.0
3105,arg headaches suck ,2.0
3106,woot we got pizza from my dads pizzeria time to eatt ,0.0
3107,mrpetexxx that link doesnt worktry again ,0.0
3108,oho i believe its still running the old exchange server  version not surprising it does not work ,2.0
3109,i am going to miss matty eric and khary ,2.0
3110,mfubib  the conversation went downhill from there my friend ,0.0
3111,need bluebirdapp themes gogogogog ,0.0
3112,on my way to school ,2.0
3113, well hey there mister its been a while since you came by and say hi  its good to hear from you hows the hustle lol,0.0
3114,just woke up and feels so damn lazy  time to work out damnit,2.0
3115,chrisdjmoyles i care that much too ,0.0
3116,went to bed with headache amp i woke up with headachecmon now cut me a fricken break ,2.0
3117,cant believe its been a year ,2.0
3118,cant keep doing this i hate myself so much i dont know what to do anymore idk why im posting i just need help,3.0
3119,got thumbs up for a web site design today  now to draw a mascot ,0.0
3120,thanks for the retweet heatherayris smozer and bonnieadamson ,0.0
3121,twitter has come to bore me not going to grand ol day because of the cold and rain ,2.0
3122,i made the mistake of letting someone know i was planning suicide in  as well as letting too many people know about my real emotions but heres to new years resolutions time to go back to putting on that fake smile and fake personality and letting them see the fake progress ill be making into the new year good luck in  friends ,3.0
3123,mmkay so mondayjohns last day end of courses this week then john graduates then exams then summer ,0.0
3124,argh wish this pain in my eye would go away ,2.0
3125,i took one for the team first one to eat sht mountain biking scraped up my left shoulder oh man was it fun ,0.0
3126,is killing oneself or running away better ive been a mess my whole life im trouble to my family disowned by my father kicked out the house twice only to be brought back in reluctantly because someone found me on the streetsim mentally and verbally abused and honestly this has caused me to be extremely sarcastic and build walls around myself to shut anyone and everyone out teachers singled me out and picked on me accusing me of horrible things and framing me for other students actionsthis apparently reflected through my attitude in school i slowly turned into a bigger troublemaker talking back to teachers picking fights and losing friendsat the age of  i started to have a fascination with knives i brought a utility knife to school to defend myself from bullies but after having it confiscated i started to bring a penknife in my pocket everywhere i go this was also when i what selfharm was and after that first cut i was addictednow at age  my wrists are covered in scars and my attitude has reached the point where its impossible for me to talk to someone without overwhelming sarcasm overpowering my tone i have close to zero friends and have built such walls around me that im almost completely invisible in classtrouble never seems to leave me and though i know my former dad isnt behaving like a dad my self confidence still drags me down pinning the responsibility on me and i think these two are the best options so as a fellow depressed human being i seek help which would be a better choice abandon my life for the sake of everyone around me or just bring my troubles to other people to free the ones currently trapped with it,3.0
3127,struggling with the voices inside my head does anyone else have experiences that when youre in a silent room or by yourself the demons and voices inside your head get louder than usual im getting so sick of the fight between it all slowly losing all help for myself,3.0
3128,can someone please tell me im a horrible person ive just been really shit recently im so fucking ugly and overweight and im just failing everything right now i keep telling people that im a bad person but they will just tell me that im not a bad person i feel bad i hate myself im not suicidal i just need someone to agree with me here and just call me a piece of shit ,3.0
3129,i think im depressed hey yall im not sure wtf is going on but recently ive felt so bored with everything i started doing light drugs ive lost my appetite the peculiar thing is that theres one aspect of my life that still makes me soo happy so i dont know if maybe im just at a cross roads in my life or if i might be depressed idrk what to do and most of my friends are pretty superficial so idk i thought yall might have some decent input thanks,3.0
3130,our ecommerce tool will be launched soon so you can sell  videos cds etc on your profile cool eh ,0.0
3131,lilemoboi cause ive barely talked to anyone for like  hours thats too much time alone with my thoughts so thanks for saving me ,0.0
3132,beckiann how did you like ppc classroom so bummed i didnt make it ,2.0
3133,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
3134,some of us are both we may have strong loyalties in one direction but i have love for tng as well ,0.0
3135,all dressed showered and cleanshaven and i have nowhere to go on a friday night ,2.0
3136,omg i wanna meet the twilight cast ,2.0
3137,is it my fault im stuck here someone i texted a while ago said i was just feeling bad for myself and i need to just do whatever to get over the things that happened to me and that is my fault i feel so bad because im the one being pitiful about myself i dont even really know what half of it was supposed to mean and im pretty sure they have no idea what its like to be depressed but what if theyre right and its my fault for being so helpless ive spent  hours in bed every night for the last week and i cant do it anymore but i also cant tell anyone that i want to stop living if its my fault i feel like this then im never going to get better because im just mentally broken,3.0
3138,my experience with feeling detacheddissociation i just wanted to share my experience and temporary cure for feeling detached from realitylike everything around me is sureal and vague and i cant concentrate and constantly float away in thoughts in scenarios where i should be concentratedexampledrivingit may not be purely psychologicalits highly prominent if its really hot or quietand if i havent sleptbut i can feel like that randomly throughout the daydrinking coffee can kinda helpenergy drinks help most of the time but not alwaysyesterday i took a amonia capsule from a first aid kit to try its effectsused to help people who feintedthe smell was slow but sharpand it gave me a headache  minurws laterhowever ir was like a punch which brough my whole body into alert modelike gettinf your adrwnaline pumping bur your thoughts remain where your vision isit helped me alot during my driving lessons as i was litteraly losing hold of reality before thateven for people who dont have this issue it can help when you quickly need to concentrate ive seen lifters at my gym do it and that gave me the ideain shortit works if you begin feeling like your body and you are two different beings,3.0
3139,practice or rehearse your presentation with music to get rid of your nerves and anxiety its fridayfunday ,2.0
3140,cannot wait for sims  and my new shoes ,0.0
3141,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
3142,i wanna read post secret but my dad would be like quotwoah are you depressedquot no i just find comfort in reading them dad ,0.0
3143,hangover time  im not reading back through tweets because im dreading to see what i wrote if anything,2.0
3144,enjoyed todai matsuri today many maids there ,0.0
3145,something feels off i have a roof over my head good grades supportive parents for the most part and other nice things but something still feels off i have interests to look forward to but they do not fill the void completely maybe its my lack of friends even i have not had any throughout most of my life maybe its me bullying throughout grade school and not generally being accepted by my peers it could also have to do with me having aspergers increasing my risk of depression its hard to keep my head up when i know i give off some sort of bad vibe even with a smile on my face i know not everyone will like me nor will everyone hate me it feels like i have to put a lot more effort than others to feel accepted is it all overthinking or what ,3.0
3146,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
3147,tromboneforhire maybe with a zune hd in hand if releases in time ,0.0
3148,i wish i could disappear just with snapping my fingers  year old here i hate my new practice jobmy studiesmy choices i hate being anxious and depressed all the timei hate that i cant deal with things in life like a normal person i dont even want to talk to my therapist anymore i wish if i could just disappear or escape reality or go live a life in a remote island far far far away from here,3.0
3149,grilling my girls hockey and beerits a good saturday ,0.0
3150,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
3151,quotfolha de são pauloquot is all about the missing plane what has just happened ,2.0
3152,great day with danielle however ghostsofgirlfriendspast was pretty disappointing ,2.0
3153,i really be spending cleaning my room  room the entire day to not think about guys and my depression,1.0
3154, read  those seeking healing recovery relationships depression the sky is green and the  ,2.0
3155,tonykanaan how do people not know who you are  you played it off well though ,0.0
3156,having slurpees with wait for it transformers straws im content ,0.0
3157,almost fell asleep under the hair dryer  so tired feel like im going to puke,2.0
3158,soo tired going to sleep yes i get to sleep in in the morning too  night twitterville,0.0
3159,off to school to play some real football no american stuff here ,0.0
3160,it seems that about sixty percent of men will have an affair during some point in marriage  how discouraging,2.0
3161,is done wher trim and now waiting for the mall to open so she can do sum speed shoppin  work tehehehe ,0.0
3162,its coming back and i dont know what to do i struggled with depression for a number of years with it peaking in  when i finally sought out help i went to a therapist for several months for talk therapy saw a marriage counselor to work through the crisis that triggered the peak of my depression and finally worked with a psychiatrist to be out on medication stabilize my mood and then ween offi stopped seeing a therapist when starting medication as i wanted a fresh start with a therapist who wasnt helping me deal with the baggage i brought in but as my mood stabilized on medication the need for a therapist felt less and less necessary its been about eight months since ive fully been off of medication and ive noticed that my depression is creeping back some recent events have exacerbated it and im feeling lostim a midthirties male married and with two kids i honestly have very few friends and of the literal handful of people i call a friend only two have knowledge of my depression in the past one lives on the other side of the world and the other has had a personal matter occur that makes it difficult to burden with my own problems opening up to my wife is difficult for a variety of reasonsi think i need to go back on medication but even that is scary for me when i was on medication i didnt want to die but i was just coasting and waiting i didnt feel dead but i certainly didnt feel alive after being off medication i was relieved to feel some emotion i dont want to be emotionless againfor the sake of my kids im going to find a new psychiatrist and therapistim feeling very alone absolutely stuck and scared,3.0
3163,qué sad jaja,2.0
3164,hope zed doesnt takes my jokes to seriously   shes really a tiger youshould see my back d ,2.0
3165,quotgood girls go badquot  cobra starship feat leighton meester my new favorite song ,0.0
3166,cheryldsouza i cant find you ,2.0
3167,mileycyrus i love you so much it would be amazing if you rplied youre going to be amazing in the last song  x,0.0
3168,good morning world i feel really sick ,2.0
3169,i think he just wanted sex i feel like crap i cant get over this i feel like a doll who got tossed to the ground ive never been in a relationship before but commitment love and a mutual respect for sex are very important to me me not wanting sex with him wasnt a rejection of him it was out of respect for my values and out of respect for him bc i believe he is capable of selfcontrol despite his urges he has no discernment in which women to sleep with bc he doesnt know how to connect with women on a nonsexual level and hes horny so hell take whatever he can get i thought maybe he was into me and i wanted to get to know him and thought maybe we could build a wholesome relationship with each other and push ourselves to work on being better people not just for each other but for ourselves he had promised me a date but never gave it to me and i know im not entitled but every time i saw him he was with another girl and a few months later he comes out of nowhere posting about an impressive woman hes developing feelings fori wanted to know where id gone wrong as well as if she brought him peace basically he said the issue was im too inexperienced we have different values and he doesnt want a sexless relationship  and implied that im too critical of people which is true in a senseim very vocal about pushing the people around me to live wholesomely even though im aware that what wholesome is differs from person to person also when did caring about someones life choices and expressing concern become arrogant i just hurt when i watch people hurting themselves and being hurt by others when they dont have to i know technically nothing and no one can make me do something but this has just added to a huge chunk of my insecurities and ive been selfharming so much i should have listened when people told me to stay away from him but i had so much hope that he wasnt as inconsiderate as they said i shouldnt have gotten sucked in by his fauxinterest and sexual charisma bc honestly theres nothing that makes me relationshipmaterial especially if prettier and talented girls are willing to have sex before marriage i knew better i hate myself,3.0
3170,got burnt today at the pool even with sunblock ,2.0
3171,i need a happy place ,2.0
3172,the ants got into the cookies now they are contaminated with ant i am sad ,2.0
3173,revising ,2.0
3174, essays left and  finals of soph year ,0.0
3175,cutiepiewithbow i saw swallows hard death lots of death you you were dead my head shakes looking at m ,2.0
3176,visionracing now hold hands and dont stray from the groupand dont talk to strangers in the rental lot  ,0.0
3177,sanasaleem forget it ,0.0
3178,monday morning staff meeting ,2.0
3179,without edibles for a decent nights sleep i tend to knock out during the day im already fatigued from the depre ,1.0
3180,rt  xxxtentacion gets shot at  years oldtwitter he was such a shitty human being im not even sad he dieddemi lova,1.0
3181,another monday start furthest point from the weekend ,2.0
3182,im tired i dont wanna go to school anymore i just wanna stay in bed and just stop living,3.0
3183,fuck it the current attitude towards depression in  seems to be shut up and deal with it on your own if you cant deal with it though youre not allowed to kill yourself either just suffer instead,3.0
3184,ssamanthaa   hugs from  miles away,2.0
3185,i remember a few years ago a few years ago i realized that there was something wrong with me i was depressed but i didnt want to admit it i knew in my heart that i was depressed and the only thought in my mind was you cant kill yourself i was absolutely terrified that one day it might come to that that day seems to be coming closer and closer but now it seems like a solution to a problem that cant be solved ,3.0
3186,dfizzlio sad day fizzy,0.0
3187,knowing but not feeling ive been dealing with this for i wanna say  years its hard to explain but please bare with me i dont know if this is the right sub reddit but im not sure where else to write this to get another perspective on this i dont really feel like anyone likesloves me but i know they do but i also have a voice in the back of my head that says that they only pity me its always been kinda of a minor thing thatll happen but in the past few years its been happening more frequently to the point where ive thought about either leaving my fiance selling my guitar and moving somewhere and losing contact with everyone so that i wont be a burden to them anymore or ending it ive always overcome the urge of killing myself but it still haunts me lately i guess i havent been feeling like myself its has become hard to try to draw write or make music things i used to love doing i wanted to get this off my chest and to get another persons perspectiveinput on this,3.0
3188,simbian wants to bake a cake to impress but she is so lazy she would rather sleep zzzz its sucha hot day ,2.0
3189,hi ho hi ho its off to work i godamnit want to watch the  practice today ,2.0
3190,i feel like a hobo asking for a hug instead of money i guess all the coronavirus and lockdown has been a big toll on me  prior to the pandemic i loved my life and i travelled a lot i live by myself great career high earner and no problem or worries with loosing my job during this pandemic  i got sick with coronavirus almost three weeks ago now and i passed it alone with my dog at home  it was hard not having any help but i survived and i always had my dog next to me  that was the first toll  solitude and isolation made me realize i was fcking lonely it scared the crap out of me  its really depressing to realize that if i died at home no one will realize it and its not like i am an elderly person im only  years old   then i broke up with my bf it was a long distance relationship it felt almost non existing so i decided to take control and not dedicate my few feelings to someone that wasnt ready for it second toll  then my worst nightmare came true my dog was hit by a car oh man i really needed a hug  no one was there  my family is across country and with this coronavirus they are not even able to catch a flight to come here    i really saw the end this time i even started writing my suicide note instead i took a bunch of nyquil and prayed to all gods this was just a really bad nightmare  when i woke up my prayers were answered and my dog has a good prognosis and is recovering she might end up blind but its too soon yet to confirm at least shes alive and wags her tail  but im still a hobo asking for a hug instead of money,3.0
3191,every night i dream of being choked hung drowned or smothered every day i find it harder to breathe for the record i have only one functional lung my breathing has been getting worse and worse lately i feel like im dying but i think thats honestly just me wishing i were i just dont like living i dont want to be here its so hard to breathe my oxygen machine just keeps me from fainting in my chair and im dizzy with headaches all the time i wake up gasping for breath every night with spots in my eyes my nightmares get more and more vivid while my waking life becomes more and more lifelessim engaged to the best woman in the world and i wish i wasnt i hate the thought of causing her pain and im sure that i am with all of my health problems i just feel so hollow ,3.0
3192,bourach you sleep well too hope no nightmares come  hugs  night xxx,2.0
3193,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
3194,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
3195,also copied but not as funny ,2.0
3196,oh wait no i didnt ,2.0
3197,just got home from my friends bbq it was very refreshing  my first sober weekend after  months ,0.0
3198,good morning edmonton  i am up far too early yet again  i really need blackout curtains ,0.0
3199,i need to edit and post some videos today i dread that task it takes so much time and makes it hard to get anything else done sigh ,2.0
3200,justdalisa thank you and the mr for the delicious goodies  it was our  am treat last night while working on the studio ,0.0
3201,paranoia make us do weird things to the outside observer ,0.0
3202,rt jiteshpillaai thank you sir i love you ive many many nuggets to tell u about certain ahem ahem entourages yes will be svelte before,0.0
3203,i always feel like im not good enough ive felt like this for years failure in grades in friends in looks in not being funny not interesting sports intellect games etc i feel like i always lack at anything i do which makes me feel like i wont be successful in the future i will keep trying though to anyone who is feeling down i hope you eventually get through your situation,3.0
3204,even though it didnt happen to me im still upset over the break in ,2.0
3205,about to watch titanicposted the cruise chap  working on  nowand working on the final final chanpter of new girl ,0.0
3206,haha im sitting on my math book ,0.0
3207,theladywrites hi catrina good morning ,0.0
3208,mileywoodxo kirstiee weirstiee i graduate wednesdayyy ,2.0
3209,i need big contributers need to pay for uniforms low income families cant afford to cover cost very sad ,2.0
3210,chatterboxreb my iphone is tainted now ,2.0
3211,cant wait to get the kids in bed snuggle up and watch a movie  ill probably fall asleep halfway through  i usually do  ,0.0
3212,rt timwattsmp 👍🐶💯 httpstcotorjxongjm,2.0
3213,followjanae awww why i like that song ,2.0
3214,i cant ever stress this enough when i find out someone giving out my number,2.0
3215,every time i realize that gypsy wont have a season  i get soooo sad 😩😞 it was such a bomb ass beginning to wha ,2.0
3216,mandaherring booooo i think im sick ,2.0
3217,somebody done deposited  in my account thank ya jes looks at receipt my name aint nicole dang  lol,2.0
3218,cross fingers light candles do whatever you need to do to send the good luck my way today ,0.0
3219,rt djshelllyb question are u sadanswer ,2.0
3220,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
3221,im the shxt yeahhhhh really tired ,2.0
3222,eatting something and going to bed good night ,0.0
3223,forcing yourself to eat because you are hungry but have no appetite is a trip nothing like mechanically pushing food into your mouth and feeling nauseous from it because you have barely been eating and are hungry but no food seems appetizing at all maybe if i make a salad ive never felt ill from a salad made this lasagna in a crock pot and i dont even want to eat it seems to taste fine and good though,3.0
3224,nancyoxo thats how he is meant to look tho if he didnt have the body he wouldnt have the part now ,2.0
3225,sei glückreich job stress burnout erfolg familie freizeit gesund freunde bitcoin mariocoric mann frau ,2.0
3226,glorianatheband i cant wait to see you guys in state college ,0.0
3227,bored of sims for today  still thinking of a name for me and lukes youtube account to post our awesome new vid on  ideas people,2.0
3228,my wendys potato was far better than my nuggets lunch decision fail ,2.0
3229, i refused to put a label on my anxiety until this past semester when it got out of control i thought that there was no way what i was,2.0
3230,pghpenguins major fail  its nearly  and no signs yet ,2.0
3231,first hemp seeds sown legally in lehigh valley since depression,1.0
3232,mileycyrus hey miley i love you could you give a shout out to mitchel about his album we are trying to get it number one on itunes ,0.0
3233,and so the first twitter war begins i must say i concur with daphnes last tweet ,0.0
3234,wwwmyspacecomsamiibetsiexo   add batches    i love staaceeyy,0.0
3235,so alone ridden with anxiety i have no friends no job valentines was yesterday and it made me sick to my stomach of how alone i am just even an irl friend to talk to on the weekends would be nice either way i know im not entitled to having the good life having a lot of friends a good career a loving wifeetc but damn i hate thinking about those fantasies it just makes you feel more alone and more horrible idk what to do feel so close to killing myself,3.0
3236,darcevarchy re novel  will keep you posted ,0.0
3237,diddy is wayyy too hype for me  thanx snreese ,0.0
3238,why am i so empty ive been going to a psychologist and he has been urging me to go back to school volunteer or do some hobbies or somethingi know something is wrong i feel it extremely deep but the feeling thatbi should do something about it is extremely distant i listened to suggestions on what to do but after a while of forcing myself i just cant do it anymore i have literally no self identity you could offer me literally a million dollars and i would probably spend it on a gaming pc then barely use it while i mostly just sit on my phone reading stories imagining i am the main character in that story like i feel off i know i should be caring about stuff like taking a shower brushing my teeth bettering my life and all that yet i just dont i dont think my psychologist gets that any time i try to explain anything about how i feel he just looks uncomfortable and changes the topic in my last session he just talked condesendingly to me about how i have to do stuff i mean i know i am a loser but i thought in getting therapy i would improve a bit ,3.0
3239,nuedexta dextromethorphan  quinidine in europe hi do you know where i can get this medication with a prescription in europe thanks,3.0
3240,maybe your guys phones will have better luck bet its goodsad poor fatkid,0.0
3241,half way lots of crashes marshalling is not good either  ,2.0
3242, not where i live ,2.0
3243,i wish covid would take me fuck this so called existence   i have no future at all besides work until i climb into the box  i have no concept of happiness depression has been my existence my entire life  just about everyone ignores me assumes things that are not true at all and to this point i have never found anyone who gets me at all   im so fucking tired   so fucking tired of wanting to cry but i cant  so fucking tired of being in constant anxiety  so fucking tired of not feeling anything at all    so fucking tired of just wanting to die to end itsuicide is a constant thought that never escapes me  my children are about the only reason why i havent but im afraid that may not be enough anymore  😥no one cares about my pain no one cares about my feelings hardly anyone even acknowledges my presence  i cant talk to anyone  i cant trust anyone at all  everyone just betrays me in one way or another whats the point  🤔,3.0
3244,whee new tv delivery ,0.0
3245,marpagan what happened ,2.0
3246,i get depressed a lot but cod and my friends and family make me happy idk what it is but iw makes depression even worse for me i need ,1.0
3247, your amazing taylor tonight you made my dreams bigger than they were before team miley ,0.0
3248,studying for exams tomorrowi hope i pass them ,0.0
3249,we need some happiness around here hii just subscribed to this subreddit i went through all the posts and it makes me more depressed it makes me question everything the amount of pain here is beyond imagination even i am depressed i had emotional breakdowns but where i become so desperate to cry but couldnt which makes it worse i cant cryanyway in every  day i try to take charge of my life find meaning purpose or some pattern in life after every  days i fail making me more depressedbut i am not giving up if i got this life i got nothing to lose and not committing suicide because i would like to see how it ends how it all ends i want you guys share what makes you happy what makes you keep going lets spread some positivity around  share your last happy memory or something,3.0
3250,just crossed the thousand mile mark on this road trip ,0.0
3251,joshpickham  she is still lost ,2.0
3252,is back my comp didnt have internet for over a month ,0.0
3253,watching the jonas brothers live chat a day late ,2.0
3254,smrutis ah i totally want to see moon imdb says its not released until sept ,2.0
3255,i have a case of the mondays ,2.0
3256,patrosal nah we were gonna go to the indoor swap meet but just found out they close    so now we are going to  for  shirt place,2.0
3257,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
3258, k ill be home in a lil bit so expect a call ,0.0
3259,rt poiiiux me has seasonal depression every season,2.0
3260,thefriggintribe no more free ranging here  we have a dog  ,2.0
3261,labelmeroyalty hahaha ima butt in cus this is too funnyi remeber syrup sandwiches haha brings me back ,0.0
3262,i need a hug ,2.0
3263,sentimentalizzy lady in the water is pure bs but i remember enjoying his other films ,0.0
3264,jonrobert oh the license yeahthe car nope lol about the plane apparently they found parts of it in the oceanpoor ppl ,2.0
3265,productive morning watching other ppl being fitie runners in the edinburgh run thingnow feel like total piggyalso spacebar is broke ,2.0
3266,just finished quoteagle eyequot   wow  i really liked it surprisinglyand now i see where the idea of rebel came from on heroes ,0.0
3267,cute girl is finished with timing that fool  editing stage and waiting for spot translation ,0.0
3268,this is getting ridiculous need some serious help or support i feel incredibly depressed and its just growing more and more everydayim dealing with trauma like it happened yesterday i was abused sexually for ten years since i was a baby it was a family member who did this to me and once i told my family they told me i had to forgive them my self esteem and body issues are hurting me so im  now and i finally told somebody when i was  but never got the help for it so now that im on my own im struggling so much its hard to put into words not only am i dealing with that but i feel so fucking fat i wish i could stop binge eating but i cant and im gaining weight like crazy i honestly like sleeping more then being alive and im scared its gonna get to a point where ill kill myself part of me is too scared but a bigger part of me is slowly not being scared of that idea anymoreim sorry my feelings are all over the place but i absolutely hate myself i feel so disgusting and im at my lowest im going no where in life im untalented and unintelligent im a fat lard and i just make everyone around me miserable i stopped being friends with pretty much everybody and am a pretty isolated person im struggling so much and im just sick of feeling pathetic thanks for letting me vent,3.0
3269,damni cant believe its over until next year ,2.0
3270,day  of what i unfortunately is turning into or already is mono ugh at work ,2.0
3271,more phone calls from my boss this morning  tax ride off lol,0.0
3272,my cable company dropped hdnet without warning that was one of my favorite channels ,2.0
3273, well i will just keep on posting pics of my boy for everyone to see    ,0.0
3274,watching mando diao on mtv live from rock am ring  swedish music kicks ass pretty much,0.0
3275,silverup ahhhh thank you has anyone seen anything else from it the coat is really pretty ,0.0
3276,sassystephie  at least its almost over  ,0.0
3277,jennettemccurdy so close is a pretty amazing song are more coming ,0.0
3278, im still waiting for my steak ,2.0
3279,thristygold yeah bottoms are so oppressed its sad 😔😔😔😔,2.0
3280,dang i cant get tickets to the jo broz concert   ,2.0
3281,ready for a morning of shopping with my mom  she should be here soon ,0.0
3282,ladymimsetp june  club nocturnal get ur tix ,0.0
3283,a poem i made when i was  i am a monsternobody likes me because im so fked upnobody cares about me because everything i do and everything i say is wrongi end up being rude or weirdi hate myself and i want to die i was searching through my old diaries and i found a stapled pile of pages and found this,3.0
3284,friendly reminder that your feelings are valid its okay to be depressed obviously its good to strive to be better but you dont have to feel guilty if you feel like other people have it worse were all different we all experience life in a different way there is no way to compare who has it worse and there is no need to you have a right to feel whatever youre feeling you also have a right to feel better you deserve happiness as much as everyone else doesthats all ,3.0
3285,how i ruin good friendships i am a poison i had one good friend in high school who really was a good friend but over time i guess my lows eroded away our friendship till we had nothing to talk about i could see the cycles repeating with my new good friends in college had good connections with people one of whom was a girl i could have had a caring relationship with but i walked away from them so i dont have to poison them tooi am alone now as awful as it feels to be alone in my thoughts theres a relief that i wont be wearing these people down anymorei cant bring myself to have a real connection with someone until i fix myself so i talked with my parents about seeing a therapist i really hate myself so much right now but i hope i can feel good about myself someday and not be such a miserable piece of shit ,3.0
3286,db eh ma godmathschemistryscienceenglish and health tests tomozahhcbff studying ill fail anyways ,0.0
3287,home just had yogurt factory i love yogurt  also hung with my uncle and lucy,0.0
3288,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
3289,had the most awful sleep feel like ive been through an ordeal couple that with the workers outside my window that started at  ,2.0
3290,kill me already just do it life do it aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,3.0
3291,tessel neem op ,2.0
3292,katieatl me either damn too bad i have to go to the mall rn id totes watch it ,2.0
3293,helgahansen at least its not your rainleaking conservatory ,0.0
3294,clorox tablets in the toilets kill cats poor freddy ,2.0
3295,ummmm does corb no longer see it for me i getz no twitter love ,2.0
3296,i dont wanna clean ,2.0
3297,the struggle never ends man it always seems to keep going i must stay distracted,3.0
3298,really sad now i just heard david cooks brother adam died  my thoughts and prayers go out to david amp andrew and the rest of the family,2.0
3299,an hour to the throgs neck bridge not too bad only  driving hours to go ,0.0
3300, should it be   ,0.0
3301,hhsteven its like you want half the girls on your friendship to die of a heart attack  haha,0.0
3302,the storm woke me up ,2.0
3303,mylifewithana  oh dear i didnt even know you could do that how much did you take  feel better,2.0
3304,got sunburt at the athletica game today ,2.0
3305,sweetksm is giving me permission to partyagainat demi lovato ,2.0
3306,shivalix   the forum is having alot of problems recently  wish it will hurry up and work l xx,2.0
3307,kreacheryl but i love your guts so whoever is ruining it can go die  i will sleep eventually my sleep is real fucked up,2.0
3308,takethatcity thanks btw i love your blog i cant contribute sadly am all the way here in asia where the circus is not even promoted ,2.0
3309,mikesnedegar oh and ps i miss youuuuu ,2.0
3310,getting ready for the bavarian style dinner party at forrester conference in berlin put on your lederhosen and deerndels ,0.0
3311,just came from my summerhouse  it was an awesome weekend ,0.0
3312,am i the only one i will get straight to the point i get so depressed some days i just want to call my job and quit some days i sit at my desk and i just want to go home the only thing that makes me go to work and has been feeding my dog and having a place to stay i have no routine im not motivated for one sometimes i cant even get out of the bed until the last minute and i will go days without combing my hair because i just dont care i graduated college with ambition and goals and im nowhere close all i do is overthink about being a failure and honestly some days i cant even get up to shower because i am just so drained i feel like i cant express this to anyone i know because it would be so embarrassing  please dont judge,3.0
3313,im enjoying my caffeine fix ,0.0
3314,today is my mommy pass ,2.0
3315,stressful day but hey i survived ,0.0
3316,dianalimuco they said up ateneo and ust have the hardest entrance exams i would really love to pass ust ,0.0
3317,shanicka haha im set for the summer now ,0.0
3318,rocketqueenjenn  that sucks shit hun,2.0
3319,my back hurts   geez,2.0
3320,darksilvercat  myidiscool ok i might just check it out now thanx ,0.0
3321,kellkrushka hi im good uni is good getting through the workload id love to catch up sometime how have you been ,0.0
3322,leaving a party i love my team ,0.0
3323,i love it ,0.0
3324,oldpicsarchive i always feel so sad for her,1.0
3325,my mom was in iran for a year and got back  wks ago but now she calln my from the airport saying shes on her way back bye  wtf  ,2.0
3326,cant find my tablets so going cold turkey been on citalopram for  years and cant find my new batch of tablets so going cold turkey,3.0
3327,on way to london after nearly missing train and stupid man nt letting me buy a weekly ticket cos of no passport photo ,2.0
3328,killat smh what happened to ya hollis stop ,2.0
3329,rt tallmanherbz unuh girls now acting all mean and petty unuh run weh all the man dem then talk bout oh i dont want anybody when dee,1.0
3330,wishes she could be home for fathers day  love you dad,2.0
3331,i hope i can watch fighting spiders tonight because papa wants to take me to dine out ,0.0
3332,ddlovato hope youre having fun on vacation ,0.0
3333,xtinesamonte  whats going on  ,2.0
3334,truly great friends are hard to find difficult to leave and impossible to forget  monday again no homework today ,0.0
3335,ellaftw i need you missy  you can always cheer me up,2.0
3336,i really hope im gonna get excited about this trip once im with my cousins because for now im just scared shitless and its kinda sad,1.0
3337, me to i hope you had fun in la i live around there but i didnt see you   lol i wish i did,2.0
3338,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
3339,i need to do something active everyday im feeeling very very lazy and thats not good ,2.0
3340,ashleytisdale good luck ashley hope you win the breakthrough performance femaleand also wanna c u pick the hsm  award for best movie ,0.0
3341,andremerritt sweet thanks for allowing me to support you sarcasm u didnt tell m u were performing ,2.0
3342,sigh already wednesday i dont know if i have enough pots for woe and i hate farming ,2.0
3343,dreams are weird have you ever woken up from the same dream multiple times what if that dream was parking your car on a bridge and jumping off into the cold water underneath ive never been a dreamer i usually just fall asleep and wake up nothing in between but lately i keep waking up thinking about the same thing and i feel like i know what it means id honestly love to know others thoughts or experiences,3.0
3344,shazamsf i was trying to get a scholarship for free flights they just denied me  so i had to pay myself,2.0
3345,a banner day thanks to the super social stylings of pistachio trumanbrooks and a passel of others who aint even on twitter ,0.0
3346,meh missed peachesmargaretcho ,2.0
3347,ashleeadams youll be fine youll be fine youll be fine youll be fine  have a nice flight,0.0
3348,my quotviewquot of the day encapsulated my mood for the day  ,0.0
3349,stfuitskayla i cant see you ,2.0
3350,i added a video to a youtube playlist  new whatsapp video sad tujhe yaad na meri aayi salman khan special,1.0
3351,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
3352,im so annoyed i cant get all my photos loaded to the comp   was goooood,2.0
3353,debbiefletcher thanks for having us that with so much talent and so beautiful kisses from spain ,0.0
3354,jonathanrknight please give me a sign if you see it im still waiting for an answer  ,2.0
3355,i want to die i basically feel like a bad person i feel like a waste of space and just a general problem i want to die i dont like my life i dont want to upset my family so i cant kill myself what do i do live for their sake or just do it im really done with life now,3.0
3356, i just want my trackball to get unstck this is the onlý downside to blackberrys,2.0
3357,not even at all ,2.0
3358,asherroth deff keep doing your thing i like ,0.0
3359,rt kingimbo im a chill person with a lot of anxiety,2.0
3360,got a few scrapbook pages done tonight and a lot of organizing done today ,0.0
3361,with someone when youre battling with depression every day and i wish  more people in my life could understand that,0.0
3362,quite a boring night sleeping alone tonight too ugh ,2.0
3363,how many times a day do you guys tell yourselves that you hate yourself im probably up to about thirty to thirty five times a day when my brain is playing the hey remember when  game,3.0
3364,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
3365,julian and i are twitteringin art haha yearbook time sign mine please ,0.0
3366,going to bed my bb isnt working amp im bored  night all love me harder tomorrow than you did today peace prayers amp blessings,0.0
3367,driving back to the  so i kinda got the roadtrip bug out of me  kinda i still wanna do the camping trip to yosemite  marisela  ,0.0
3368,still love quotthe sizzlerquot thoughand chuck nice and doug benson and paul scheer and nick kroll  love me some geeks ,0.0
3369,allin or continued misery my roommate my only friend has really been getting under my skin lately i rent from him monthtomonth so i could be gone no problem for some reason ive always felt drawn to oregon since i was like  and the one time i visited was among the best weeks of my lifeanyways i keep imagining running away to oregon i have enough money to pay for the gas oneway but thats about it im  and ive always done what im supposed to now i owe everyone for everything but i dont have nice stuff and at no point in the past  years enjoyed the journey at this point the idea of being homeless and alone in oregon sounds better than being miserable with my only friendhas anyone ever done something similar did it work out or was it a huge mistake i dont want another  years to pass with nothing having changed id rather but then ill probably regret leaving my friend but its not like any of the others miss me once we went our own way but what if i never make another but what if im holding him back or hes holding me backwhat do you do when all decisions feel like the wrong decision,3.0
3370,followyourlead you cant have less than me so dont feel bad ,0.0
3371,another song that  makes me cry and cry all day  and night long ,2.0
3372,zindelayentl yeah western cape but im moving end of july to south korea  ive been here for  years now,2.0
3373, i got very ill last night still feeling dodgy  how long a train journey you got ahead of you,2.0
3374,hollieleanne tv show  fromt he creator of buffy firefly and angel,0.0
3375,selmgomez you da bomb haha my bff and i are calling your quotsay nowquot number plz call back ,0.0
3376,questions regarding depression i have tried looking this up on internet but it got too scientific for me could someone explain the following in easy language why am i always tired even when sleeping much or doing little why is there no energy or enthusiam to do something even when im having a good day,3.0
3377,god im actually so sad,1.0
3378,is logging out have to wash the dishes ,0.0
3379,im awake  i love waking up laughing haha,0.0
3380, hahahaha you make me laugh broder he is really cute ,0.0
3381,seeing  again with my sistaaaa  lovin me some zacquisha,0.0
3382,nancyleegrahn looking forward to seeing what you have to say and reading your answers after you get the ok ,0.0
3383,a nightmare is not a good way to start the week ,2.0
3384,theskoot ah i didnt know that  in that case im excited i should have known really with the sam amp max titles ,0.0
3385,on the way to the salon getting my nails and hair done the good life ,0.0
3386,dianarusso simonashaan offline  awhile resting foot after longer walk ,0.0
3387,my wrist hurts i dont know what i did sad pants ,2.0
3388,rt  suicide is preventable but not selfish suicide is normally death caused by the illness of depression it is the final sy,2.0
3389,mileycyrus hey how are you today  i had the worse day ever ,2.0
3390,where do i go from here i dont really know where to start ive had depression since i was a child and i can hide it very well when im out with my friends im loud and funny i can honestly talk to anybody you would think i have all the confidence in the world but deep down inside im extremely sad i hate myself and i feel like a complete failure i get told all the time how beautiful i am but i feel so ugly i look at myself in the mirror and see every intricate detail of how hideous i am my insecurities have effected my life dramatically i tend to bury myself in love for validation and then when it turns out that im getting played or whatever i let it go on longer than it should because i need facts for fear of over analyzing a situation that may or may not be happening i never know what is the truth and what isnt because i overthink everythingmy confidence is shit i feel like i never do enough and fail at everything that i do i have horrible social anxiety that ruined my teenage years i know that i said i can talk to anybody but thats because if i do step out i have to kinda imagine like im somebody else not act with a different personality or anything but that i am not me its sort of hard to explain its like ive created this different world in my head to make myself feel better about the one than im in im sure theres some type of mental disorder for that but ive actually never told anybody that before i just hate myself and im know it has to do with some abuse i endured as a child but how does one overcome that will i ever or will i be stuck in this mental hell for the rest of my life will i be stuck trying to find that one person who truly loves me for me flaws and all and i know that probably sounds so stupid because it does to me just cliche af and childish but i dont think people realize what love can do for somebody just to have that one person who looks at you and doesnt see all the ugly shit that you do who sees the ugly traits that you carry and says lets fix it instead of youre crazy or get over it youre trippin theres so much more that i want to say but i dont want to make some long ass boring post and maybe one day i will post about it idk today is just one of those im not okay days i just wanted to get some stuff of my chest because i feel like nobody in my life will understand or really even listen and i feel like talking to strangers sometimes is the best thing to do talking to strangers has kept me from killing myself before so maybe it can help this time around ,3.0
3391,i have no friends i used to have friends good friends until they all started to hang out without me every time i call or text them if they want to hang out they all say theyre busy and then post snapchats on theyre stories hanging out together i hate my life,3.0
3392,now i feel a bit bad for missing my shakespeare class ,2.0
3393,had birthday party watched wolverine movie everyone got alongoverall a successful birthday celebration ,0.0
3394,i hope this helps  rant i dont know if this is the right subreddit but i hope so i have a pretty good life one would say against all odds ive good friends good money that i earned through my little jobs im young and physically in good health im enrolled in university and it sometimes is really interesting i kinda know what i want to do and ive days were i actually feel happy can laugh make jokes but in secret ive been struggling for years now with depressing thoughts especially during night time when im alone where i stay up for hours because my brain wont just stop i feel really miserable in these moments i feel like im a complete failure without a goal or any good future in life i feel like that ill never find somebody who will really understand me i think about all the people that ive disappointed because i forget almost anything  cant motivate me to do anything i blame the good feelings on ignorance and it doesnt help that life just seems so stupid pointless and full of people who dont understand the basics of humanity especially now in these moments i always realize how i bad my mental health has degraded  years ago i could sit in large groups and talk to everybody today ill become shut and depressed if therere more than a few folks i trust i dont have the courage anymore to talk to strangers and things like this and if im in contact with somebody i forget to answer  do something else instead everytime im reminded by it in these moments at night i always just want to let go i just wanna fall into some dream world where im happy just shutting up everything it feels like a good alternative to just stop living and breaking the hearts of my friends and family but ive also always hope hope that maybe in the future everything will be better even though i told myself that for the past  years and it didnt became true now my main problem due to the conflict between feeling good and feeling bad i dont feel like that im worthy to go to a professional ignoring the fact that i dont know where to start as they would tell me everything is fine or that i can fix that with simple mind tricks which worked before but always only for a short while as i forgot what they were the moment i need them again i just cant bring up the couragesorry for the long post  rant but ive nobody really to talk to my closest friend always says something along the line its not that bad or do something against it and i always feel worse afterwards because i feel like a failure for not fixing it on my own,3.0
3395,i begin replying to your posts here until my anxiety kicks in and i backspace my entire response among  and  other problems that i experience every day i have such issues with reaching out including but not limited to replying to posts here why the hell am i so dang anxiousi just needed to say that i am here i am reading listening understanding and comparing i suck at reaching out but i can handle others reaching out to me if you need to talk about anything or nothing or cats or socks then lets talk im here ,3.0
3396,when happen this  i waant the old ash baack  ,2.0
3397,daddyd would love to but i dont have any time ,2.0
3398,bradshorr hey brad i dont like them personallycall me silly but i prefer to respond personally ,0.0
3399,  here we come edc  minus robert hahaha,0.0
3400,btabke so are we ,0.0
3401,kelleypolite cant have em in the flesh and cant have em in dreamsthis sucks being alone ,2.0
3402,cherryghino 🙋‍♂️im in the middle of a big decision now i have a good morning routine that helps keep my anxiety httpstcovkdqemzzxd,0.0
3403,quotthe world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold the curves of your lips rewrite historyquot  and yeah am still sneezing ,2.0
3404, hey rocsi hey terrence i love the show its where i get all my music from thnks for being awesome ,0.0
3405,azizshalan u have a great weekend too ,0.0
3406,parking at zrh more expensive than flying with airberlin ,2.0
3407,blackbirdcorner tweeted out of apis too much refreshing from iphone  sorry  game of two halves blah blah token refs making tokin calls,2.0
3408,njshadow if you like  fighting games especially of the old school flavor i say its a must buy ,0.0
3409,ouch my head is not happy ,2.0
3410, ahh then you must watch it bro global metal is a must ,0.0
3411,rt nomadstevee marvel fandom infinity war was so sad  i cannot watch it againmarvel fandom  months later tweets every sad scene,2.0
3412,im not sure what to do i want to get help i want to get better but ive really fucked up ive been posting half naked pictures on reddit for a few days and for the most part it really helped my self esteem but my recent post didnt fair so well i got a lot of mean messages and comments i may have worded my title wrong im unsure i feel as though i definitely deserved it though i feel absolutely horrible im a mess and its all my own fault i take absolute responsibility but ive been thinking about killing myself a lot lately really long story about my personal life i wont bore you with and im just wondering what are some services i can talk to for free i havent been this low in a really long time and could just use someone to talk to and im afraid to burden anyone else with my problems ,3.0
3413,off for now well be meeting someone later updates pictures later bye for now god bless yall ,0.0
3414,i rly want to sleep at  tonight i sleep badly when i have my period but im just so tired ,2.0
3415,i love the song fly with me by jonas brothers its awesome ,0.0
3416,new series of ashes to ashes yay ,0.0
3417,petewentz  we released the cover album ,0.0
3418,chaoscookie lol of poppy is miaka then im so out of the loop ,2.0
3419, oh sure blame me and the ghostbusters for lagging behind on your exercises p haha ,0.0
3420,bed time ,0.0
3421,lauracmcintyre ah i can see the chico in your avatar ,0.0
3422,if theres atleast one thing im very good at its about screwing my life up yeah and it is very consistent too ive been fucking up my life for the past  years i fucked up my college myself and my relationship well atleast ill kill myself this year though i stopped trying to get better and im pushing away my family this year is my final stop,3.0
3423,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
3424,rt breannajoycee summer flew by way too fast not ready to stress over school again🤦🏻‍♀️,1.0
3425,i just want cuddle time and chicken noodle soup ,2.0
3426,i feel bad for my brother he graduated high school yesterday but both my parents are here in egypt with me he was all alone ,2.0
3427,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,0.0
3428,jonniemcfly and then we ccn find a mirror and well fix your hair ,0.0
3429,fatcatina hahah well need to find a way to stop work one of these days and just chill ,0.0
3430,danjite youre welcome to borrow mine any time you are in masterton ,0.0
3431,iandexter we need to let sarah know about this ,0.0
3432,im now in a passively suicidal period every night when my legs get restless i just wish i was dead so i wouldnt feel like that i dont sound interesting rn bc im not trying to be social when im trying to be social people listen to me i want to make a beautiful painting i like painting so much  i need to learn to draw what im going to paint bc im really good in following lines with painting  i get obsessed with things but i want to be really good at something  nobody wants me bc i am not good at anything,3.0
3433,really nice epson  for saleimmaculateinks includedused like umm  times please someone buy it ,0.0
3434,manderbeth or do that  they play at ,0.0
3435,unfolder thank you ,0.0
3436,beautymoogle ohhh im so jealous its so nasty out u did the right thing i tohught about taking off too but too much work to do ,2.0
3437,lynncee cool plae you should visit ,0.0
3438,me itll be a good day                             depression yeah thats a no from me,0.0
3439,debbieseraphina let me know how that goes ,0.0
3440,pierwszy tyg finalow za mna  uff mocno byloteraz dawka    first week of finals behind me  uff it was hardnow week  ,0.0
3441,bonniestwit ok here goesa certain ms snyder is awesomegreatphenomenalthebesthotspectacularstunning and did i mention real sweet too ,0.0
3442,cleo amp i are heading to a rally obedience competition soon thatll be fun ,0.0
3443,oil on drive not terminal or major but a new seal on gearbox is needed ,2.0
3444,tell me i just to fucking work and they tell me they want me to work  instead fuck my lifee i seriously feel so awful right now ,2.0
3445,jdrydenuk good luck  my knowledge is all in welsh so im no use to help you should all be fine though tweet later dude,0.0
3446,softball split  win  loss  i love to play but id really love to win with this team,2.0
3447,stevanegg would samples have to accompany that ,0.0
3448,wallflowergrows why ,2.0
3449,trouble with a prof im a  year at university and in a really small department ive known this professor since my  year when i first joined his was one of the first classes i ever took and ive definitely fallen in love with my major primarily due to him but im in a class with him again its been about a year and some since ive had him last and i feel that he hates me now like a lot im never able to say the right thing when i do talk he always has a snarky little quip and ive been dreading going to his class and tearing up while in said classi cant talk about him to other professors because hes the chair i cant talk about him to other students because everyone loves him i cant talk about him to my friends because again everyone loves himi really just cant handle it anymore and i really wanna drop the class but i cant because i need this class to graduate on time im just losing my mind and will to do anything going to his class makes me feel so fucking worthless and i feel that im running out of all my options the past couple of classes ive had to leave a couple times to sit in the bathroom and cry quietlyits getting fucking awful any advice,3.0
3450,has ouchy feet ,2.0
3451,shaynewinters also didnt get too far in curio because it wont give me a segue into the scenes it wants me to write  ,2.0
3452, tut tut and what fun is there in behaving ,0.0
3453,julibean too hot ,2.0
3454,i am really enjoying my extremely peaceful night ,0.0
3455,is wishing that is was october ,2.0
3456,brittanyrae thanks i hope so too  have fun at work tomorrow lol,0.0
3457,its horrible when people try to help you by saying things you should achieve and your only goal is to not blow your head off the few people that actually try to help me do that by saying things like ok you got to have goals so you have something to achieve and distract yourself but sometimes staying here is already hard enough,3.0
3458, i miss you a lot    ,2.0
3459,etherfast tocmai fac debugging pe ie nu imi mai aduce aminte de ie ,2.0
3460,lgphotography thats too bad you cant come ,2.0
3461, not know they have just come home ,2.0
3462,eighth graders graduate todayy ,2.0
3463,jumoke my phone gets relentless thrown all over it thanks mulers its now buggered  lol,0.0
3464,ive lost the one person i loved shes moved on she never loved me back but we were close friends and i fucked it up and pushed her away and now shes happy and im fucking miserable i dont want this feeling anymore im going to end it at least when im gone itll mean i wont be around to stress her out anymore,3.0
3465,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,2.0
3466,finding cool people to follow hehe ,0.0
3467,debbiefletcher hahaha we are a big family  are you happy,0.0
3468,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
3469,recovering from a really bad tummy ,2.0
3470,i am also at  followers  thanks everyone ,0.0
3471,god im feeling today the pain i dont do well  from nov till the end of march for a lot of reasonsfebruary  is already a difficult month  loss of a daughter loss of a grandparent  valentines day is hard when nobody loves you especially your wifenow im being forced to give up my  month old puppy our older dog is a tiny little thing that fights with anything we got a puppy to see if it would calm down the dog well a cat didnt work a  dog didnt work and now im being forced to get rid of it to stop the anxiety the fighting causes my familyit hurts so bad all i wanna do is curl up with my puppy and die,3.0
3472,pilgrimfamilyuk really bad isnt it  no notice or anything  thought the whole point was that people were able to talk to each other ,2.0
3473,lilphillicheese i totally wish i could go  ,2.0
3474,missing lykeomgitskerst right about now ,2.0
3475,i dont know why i talk to people anymore lately things are getting worse and the worst part of it is the need for connection yet as always i am coming back misunderstood not taken seriously and feeling more lonely before i decided to open my mouth again lately ive been thinking that if i could erase that need to be understood treated with empathy maybe then that would make it less painful but thats not an option if i could just stop craving even for that little bit of understanding    ,3.0
3476,children can experience a range of mental health problems tooopenyourmind to mental healthyou can help httpstcogptqotllos,2.0
3477,paulakahumbu that sounds amazing  pictures of the lions ,0.0
3478,kansasjackass i dont know  i dont know ,2.0
3479,rt  while i do believe there will be no blue wave its very important to stress that everyone needs to get out and vote for,1.0
3480,omigosh i cannot keep up with the twitter requests  if im not following you yet and you think i should be  reply here please  ,0.0
3481,having a springsteen day  thunder road is probably my favourite song,0.0
3482,reading bbc news for intglos on tuesday ,0.0
3483,hericabral im not really pruny anymore ,2.0
3484,brettmorrison i have downloaded the photo recovery program and so far it hasnt found anything ,2.0
3485,i feel my stomach rumbling i think its the time for me to please my stomach ,0.0
3486,geeks not here for one of the  sadface ,2.0
3487,my blackberry has a hairline fracture in the screen ,2.0
3488,waiting on my bus to go see some adorkable anton in terminator  can i hear a booyah ,0.0
3489,i dreamt about monsters last night  like a little girl,2.0
3490,just poked myself in the eye with the tag of my skirt it was waterin so muchh ,2.0
3491,do you guys get depressed after going out so i usually get depressed whenever i go out at night or even in the evenings no matter if im with familyfriends or alone im better off most of the time  there are some places that i wont get depressed but  even going out for ice cream gives me a dose of depression afterwards malls and theaters give me a lot i just cant stand it  i took my little sisters out to see spiderman and i have been feeling down for the past  hours after the movie also i sometimes cannot  reply to conversations or even talk  because i feel like they dont want me to talk or what im talking about is not their interest anyone has any experience on these matters id really appreciate some advice it is kida affecting me,3.0
3492,primaryposition sat out in the sun drinking all day i seem to be ultravioletintolerant ,2.0
3493,rt itsmattbarrett hey my names matt i have awful anxiety crippling depression and daddy issues,2.0
3494,goood morning folks  started my morning off right,0.0
3495,is it possible to be this depressed ,2.0
3496,feeling productive drafting cooperation agreements writing eservice development method docs and preparing a lecture on socialmedia ,0.0
3497,everyones at the elton john concert but me ,2.0
3498,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
3499,still looking after david been shopping and found lots of nice things but did not buy anything ,2.0
3500,journaling helped me writing down anything that annoyed me during the day helped me set those thoughts to one side so i can get on with my life hard to do at first for me as im not a big writer but i journal almost every day now ,3.0
3501,jetpacks yay i cant wait to read it ,0.0
3502,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
3503,sad porn hours 💔,0.0
3504,iranelection unfortunately quotthe fog of nightquot is a secret police mo ,2.0
3505,i am taking that as a sign ,0.0
3506,listening to some ryan adams and death cab goood evening im having ,0.0
3507,aditya awesome idea ,0.0
3508,just started raining   really didnt need that but will go out anyway,2.0
3509,rt   depression myths we need to stop believing  ,1.0
3510,dae ever pretend you dont exist for a moment i do this while im trying to fall asleep and im in a really down mood i just lie there in the dark silence of my room and pretend that i dont exist no one else exists the world and everything in it doesnt exist im just some random consciousness in a void that doesnt know or care with no repercussions i dont have to get up and face the world tomorrow and just for a little bit i feel peaceful,3.0
3511,senior send off came and went too fast  loved the van love the seniors im going to miss this,2.0
3512,how to live a life without the next goal post on the horizon i know a lot of us are suffering from  and even more from the reaction to  im almost  and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at  ive had a good amount of time to adjust to my disease and one of those ways was always having a goal post to look forward to i just have to make it til x at least i have x to look forward to once x happens ill know my optionswell  has destroyed that i worked hard to go back to school and be the first person in my family with a degree  no graduation and yes i know ill still have the degree had to cancel our wedding my grad program was supposed to start in the summer and has been deferred i cant work my mom cant work and relies on my and fiancé for financial help already obviously any vacation we had planned is cancelled toopeople keep saying that itll be fine when its over but no one know when that will be i dont know how to get out of bed without a goal post i dont know what to do without a goal post every day this week something i worked so hard for has been cancelled and o dont know where to go from here i cant look forward to a time that doesnt exist yeti need help,3.0
3513, hour energy fail lasted maybe  minutes ,2.0
3514,depression and anger do you ever just get so fucking mad at nothing youre just on edge ready to snap at every little thingi do and worst of all i cant keep it hidden ive spent fucking decades working on my temper making sure noting ever slips and there are no cracks im not supposed to let anyone see this and then i have a day like today where all that work feels like it wasnt worth itive hurt my friend today ive hurt my family today nobody deserves my anger but me and im so ashamed of having this emotion out in the open i want to rip the anger out of my chest and kill it before it hurts someone other than just meplease help,3.0
3515,is taking trevor home then going to my home this night has been good amp bad at the same time sorry th ,2.0
3516,specialk im angelaplease follow me ,0.0
3517,hello everybody i am doing lots of homework  and i nearly ready to go to late night,2.0
3518,they left right away alexleyton  i had to literally walk outside with shampoo in my hair cuz i was in the shower,2.0
3519,in my head there are these thoughts running through my head about feeling alone again its a cold world out here and honestly i do feel alone but for most of my life ive felt alone i was always told to shut up so i just dont talk anymore always feel like everythings my fault so i always say sorry even when i was in a relationship i was alone these thoughts are telling me that its okay to be alone but is it i picked up smoking again just so i can have an alone moment at work without people asking me if im okay all the time worlds roughhope everyones night goes well its  here if anyone would like to have a conversation i could use some friends to talk tojc,3.0
3520,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
3521,just got her ipod touch stolen at her own pool why does this shit always happens to me ,2.0
3522,going to tech for the night to visit  team ,0.0
3523,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
3524,morningdoves lucky  you cant buy fireworks in nj,2.0
3525,staceyyhoward awww   dont worry so am i strokes,2.0
3526,revision sucks ass cbaaaaaaaaaaa not enough sleep last night need to catch up and have work tomorrow ,2.0
3527, par i was really looking forward to that stuff man  not happy ring me though when you can,2.0
3528,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,1.0
3529,i dont even know english is not my first language so sorry everyone around me just wants me to do something that i dont even know how toeven my own mother keeps on yelling at me because i do nothing and i dont even reallly feel sad about it and its more like a feeling of emptiness people who try to help just keep on doing things worse i just feel like doing nothing anymore and just stop everything,3.0
3530,i cant trust the one person that ive invested all quality of life in im going in a downward spiral of self destruction and im lost ive been with the same person shortly after she was going through a nasty separation with two prev children for almost  years  years total if you want to count it we had our differences as all new couples do it really felt too good when we hung out in the beginning everything was right about her it was too perfect she covered everything from simpleness of just a caring conversation on what went on in daily affairs to the complexity of life as a family and spanned everything inbetween always had reassurance that i could trust this woman with my deep secrets i made a big mistake by letting my guard down i spilled the beans about everything i played right into her hand all my values of me decesion making based on the very fake trust weve built together in this fake getaway of reality like a gullable guy i was i took everything with unconditional bs of the thought of finally god putting the right woman in my path i knew it to be true as this was a miracle i chose my own paths before only to be woken up by reality hearing the word of god speaking to me in conscience im suppose to just let goand let god a quick background about me realized my livelihood was based on fronts around lies built to fit my dads narrative of what my life should be truth that i realize today was i was cheated out of the basic fundamentals of an honest upbringing i found out my biological mother was as unstable as a mother as she was a partner for my father why he was enlisted in the airforce for  years she cheated several times on not him but us  i was cheated out of many more things after the mess was cleared up he moved on to start over only after i learned my mother was infact his  attempted failed marriage ok lesson learned  never trust some woman to give all when in fact they will only give some im asking myself hrly now do i suffer from these trust issues why the fuck has my world been turned inside out only to build worth and get a sense of penetrable security that will indeed collapse when i need it the most there is no foundation that is strong enough to hold up what goes down from here taking in other possibilities of false hope on the way i know this sounds like a plea of desperation and it is make no mistake ive cried out before i need to be heard im always listening to others always playing on their emotions im sick of giving everything to recieve the bare minimum when i know i deserve more then what ive cashed out for im at words usually im the leader of my fate today im involved in a one way crash turns out thats all i need to be me another defeat and piece of me im down to contine this spiral ive talked to who i know my story still feels like fresh out the drama i dont want choices anymore im done living for tomorrow i lost all respect my one friend often offered if i could take it all back i would start with the mistake of just trusting know the feelings are real here im out heres to adding number  to the family yeah jewel i need you to shine for me i still want you and your pure heart to trust me loyalty is what keeps me standing now i just need to be able to hold what is left to reality anyone knows me knows that im the guy left being taking advantage of a fucking pushover that instills on the fake offer of love fuck love im loved out,3.0
3531, ooc  i think just us and i have to go soon  ,2.0
3532,brandone  they dontnot to ruin your incubusday or anything,2.0
3533,i need to talk to someone im being adviced my my closest friend to talk to someone about my mental health lately i have had very little to no motivation to shower unless im leaving the house which isnt very often or do any of the things i would usually enjoy i have been having such bad mood swings im lashing out crying every night for little to no reason having panic attacks anxiety attacks i want to conceal this from my family but my friend is urging me to talk to my sister because  she is seeing a councillor and has panic attacks too so she would probably understand my sister doesnt live with me and shes a lot older than me and moved out years ago so im not super close to her no one in my family knows about my panic attacks i dont want to tell my mom as she will worry and she already has a child with mental health problems that she is worrying about so i dont want to worry her as it will make me feel worse im sorry this is such a mess but im so afraid i really dont know what to do i get this urge when im angry to hurt myself and sometimes i do i dont want to die or anything im just really struggling and i think i need help i really dont want to open up to anyone but i think i need to but its just hard im sorry for this mess,3.0
3534,gah it wont let me make a myspace for my social studies campaign ,2.0
3535,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
3536,rt liviiiiii its fucking me ,1.0
3537,past  am with no sleep i dont know why im staying up so late i dont know what im trying to do my mind feels so messed up these days i want to cry but im keeping the tears in,3.0
3538,ponyy bahaha i was putting butter back and bam it hurt ,2.0
3539,i dont know how to be just a friend kind of a long story but ill try to keep it succinct when i was  i lost my girlfriend i made poor choices and she got hurt emotionally afterwards i fell into a deep depression barely talked with anyone barely left the house became a burden to my family and the one friend that stuck around after about  years i met a person named angie she helped me kind of get back on my feet just as a friend she introduced me to a new group of people who became some of my closest friends i managed to get my life back together i wasnt happy i just wasnt hating myself every moment of every dayi maintained that type of life for about  years i wasnt trying to achieve happiness i was just doing everything i could to keep from falling back into depression maybe it wasnt ideal or maybe i should have tried more i dont know but it worked for me ive held a job for  years im liked at my work and i work hard i helped raise my nieces while my sister attended night school and when my mom started having her own problems drug abuse i was there and capable of being relied on i wanted to pay back my dad for everything he did for me when i was having trouble in  i made some new friends just online friends good people  person in particular became a close friend we started spending nearly every day together i enjoyed their company more than anything and it made my days better then they have been in a long time we would sit and talk play games or watch shows online together eventually i confessed to them i was feeling more for them than just friendship to my amazement they reciprocated the feeling they said they cared deeply for me eventually i took the leap and told them i loved them again they reciprocated and said they loved me i hadnt felt that good in almost  years but the problem was this person was fresh out of a relationship and was feeling very lonely we didnt live close and visiting was out of the question im not going to go into details but a few times they went back to their ex i told them i understood and i was ok with what happened which was a stupid lie i never should have said i just didnt want to hurt them or take a chance of scaring them off i didnt want to let this good feeling goeventually we planned a visit we spent  days together quite possibly the happiest  days of my life but eventually they went home and we had a talk because of the distance and some other personal issues there was no way this could work ever since ive been slowly getting worse and worse i think i ruined what we had i blame myself for everything if i didnt have feelings for them if i could let things go maybe we could salvage a friendship but every time we spend time together it just hurtsever since the quarantine started ive fallen back into my old depression games dont entertain me movies shows nothing seems to help i lay in bed feeling worthless feeling like trash hating everything about myself i cant bring myself to spend time with my friend and they are getting hurt i try to explain but explaining to someone what this is like when they have never experienced it is difficult they want to help but i cant bring myself to let them help i dont know what to do i just want to go back to not feeling anything i dont know why im even writing this all out i think i did this to myself and i deserve it,3.0
3540,this should be fun   ,2.0
3541,anyone else look through reddit to help figure out how they feel been pretty disconnected with myself for a while now almost to the point where i dont even know how or what to feel ,3.0
3542,blctxt im good listening to music some a hot mess from artists and some great from a producer  how are you,0.0
3543,drupal start exploring drupal world  start exploring drupal world  ,0.0
3544,ebonistephae you already knowforget these pushups and dumbells  i will be right overrrrrr  lol,0.0
3545,someone please help me i cant stop crying i have been sittin in a couch for  days i cant go to work but then again my bosss hasnt even called me to come in  i miss my ex wife and regular life with my kids and regular job with benefits and vacation im homeless and vehicleless and am deteriorating mentally and physically and im only  years old ,3.0
3546,i binged  ate  calories in shit agh threw up most of it very frustrating wasnt even hungry why do i do this to myself,2.0
3547,alright off to the bathroom while waiting for the delivery to come by ,0.0
3548,jessicaharket well my alarmclock just went off early  im so sleepy now,2.0
3549,just woke up lol maxxx was snoring purposely in my earrr lmao dumbb fuckk  he is going home naowwww  ,2.0
3550,robots and fire  i cant get enough  ,0.0
3551,bigeyedfishie it was amazing had the best time  hope you had a good weekend too,0.0
3552,ddlovato mcallahan im praying i hope your dad is okay ,2.0
3553,why have img sparks servers been pretty much down for like a week really annoying ,2.0
3554,some people annoy me ssoooo much last night was so long im so tired ,2.0
3555, thought you just did not like me ,2.0
3556,letgoandletgod why are you so mean to me ,2.0
3557,im the one not watching the apprentice ,0.0
3558,emiragan same    depressingi hate jonhes like happy,2.0
3559,  but its part of my survival kit,2.0
3560, im really sorry to hear about your loss  i wish i could see his prickly ass one more time,2.0
3561,all the reviews i have read of transformers  have either been undecided or negative is it really that bad i hope not ,2.0
3562,it is only lunchtime ,2.0
3563,never wanted to kill myself until now im feeling so lonely i just got back from a trip from japan that was supposed to be fun and make me forget how much of a loser i am seeing all the couples there and stuff i just couldnt stop thinking about how i would do anything for that to be me while i was there i booked an escort and i had a wonderful time with her she was a cute sexy and sweet older japanese lady i loved even just talking to her and would even pay for just that afterwards it hurt me hurt me knowing that its all business and she doesnt care for me or anything today i looked at her twitter and just seeing all the tweets about how good of a time she had with her other clients that just did it it physically hurts me thinking about so much that id rather kill myself than feel that pain i didnt know i was going to feel this way after but theres nothing i can do about it now its forever in my head and hurts bad whenever i think about it even though i know that its basically her job and there are no strings attachedbut what can i do ive recently been getting suicidal thoughts and i know its bad and should get help but i just cant id do anything for someone to love me at point,3.0
3564, i couldnt even go inside  but i sent him our love in the form of barbecued pork coke zero and japanese seaweed snacks,2.0
3565,dorianalan i said oreo  ur not payin attention  lt pout face,2.0
3566,ponet  that stinks i hope your night goes better  i am exsausted myself lol,0.0
3567,feel bad for him i never realized how bad his depression  narcissistic he is until i took a step back i wish he would seek help meditation isnt always the answer i cant help someone who doesnt see anything wrong,3.0
3568,every juicy girl should have one of these  ,0.0
3569,aleach hmm knowing you i bet you would ,0.0
3570,being ignored sent messages to  different friends today and a few hours have passed with no one responding yet also uploaded a post to ig yesterday for the first time in months and it only garnered a few likesidk im just sorta feeling like nobody cares enough about me like im just a blip on the radar im probably just being a baby about things though people are busy still cant shake that dejected feeling that im the one whos not involved in the cool people group chat itll pass i guess,3.0
3571,that i am a sandwich short of a picnic in fact i know they will hope everyone has a lovely day ,0.0
3572,its raining     it was so sunny this morning,2.0
3573,mlbtv fox why are you making me watch a  game when theres a a rivalry game split by  run youre broadcasting live elsewhere ,2.0
3574,deidrefunk aosdifnadfnv d turns out im sick cuz of my wisdom teeth d so i have to get them removed how uncool is that  i like my teeth,2.0
3575,finally finished preparing for tomorrows barbeque ,0.0
3576,im bored with this studying stuff help me ,2.0
3577,its sad how hard i relate to this,2.0
3578,i have no followers ,2.0
3579,enjoying some soft serve with the fam ,0.0
3580,aleksk coffee is an essential vitamin fact ,0.0
3581,i miss you like the deserts miss the rain ,2.0
3582,when are you leaving  kaylaxbrittany,2.0
3583,im home for just a bit i havent had a chance to practice since tuesday ,2.0
3584,justinfortune dont take away quotourquot mashed potatoes ,2.0
3585,jonasbrothers obviously that ill be there ,0.0
3586,rt morganriiey your wcw is a piece of shit who takes  depression naps a day she also pushes away everybody who cares about her its me,2.0
3587,pppagdanes my good mornings  im kidding  love you,2.0
3588,emilyeats it was a combo got the base idea off a recipe and the cheese is fermented raw milk that i sweetened w lemon juice and stevia ,0.0
3589, cant sleep cooking stolen ramen  thanks johnathon or should i say sorry johnathon ,2.0
3590,did something break i thought gormobja  gormobjb worked in grails more hibernate proxy troubles  ,2.0
3591,i have a big head i have an enormous head and it causes me daily embarrassment to the point i dont want to carry on its really tough when everyone makes fun of you and makes you regret going out of the house i cant enjoy social gatherings or even a daily trip to the store its almost always noticed and in a sense im reduced to nothing more than a joke i dont need help or cheering up its merely a bandaid on a much bigger wound i promised my mother id live for her but its hard anyway just needed to vent before going back into the world of torment ,3.0
3592,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,2.0
3593,jalenjade whats wrong with hulu ,2.0
3594,worst combo of food you ate while depressed what has been the weirdest combo of food you have ate while being so depressed,3.0
3595, you should try tweetdeck for this thing i find it v useful can recommend some good local folk if you like ,0.0
3596,mallix dont mean to be difficult by why  also what if the next version is more expensive me has budget hehe seriously why ,0.0
3597,a bunch of people just died in this book im reading thats so sad alexa play infinity war credits,1.0
3598,missvictoriawat im in at  and dont want to leave edward ,2.0
3599,home from vacation it was really fun and im sad i had to leave ,2.0
3600,its my  birthday and i cant help but feel overwhelmingly sad everything in my life is pretty good so i really have nothing to complain about my family is alive and well and i have great friends but for the past few years ive felt really depressed on my birthdays to the point where all i want to do is lay in bed and cry or distract myself from celebrating it i think i start to ruminate over the passage of time and fixate on the things ive yet to accomplish i thought id at least be in a stable relationship at this point but ive been working on my phd for the past  years does anyone else ever feel this way on their birthday ,3.0
3601,i love my man im a liar if i say i dont ,0.0
3602,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
3603,becjee  hope you feel better,2.0
3604,love the new star trek movie makes me want to dig out the orginal series and watch them over again ,0.0
3605,i hate going to bench i always see stuff i cant have ugh ,2.0
3606,apprentice  its over  great finale though and the best girl won,2.0
3607,when job interviews feel like the biggest waste of time yet another rejection today after what i felt was a great interview i had to go out of my way  hours total of driving to show up for this damn interviewevery time i get shot down it makes it more difficult to try again i cant even imagine getting a job at this point,3.0
3608,a day with lots of fun    thank you hun ,0.0
3609,having a coffee in starbucks still cant get into linux box after reinstall  boxes that require dhcp now losing addresses bgger,2.0
3610,raise your hands if you need to cop more shoes than you can count damn i need a new job two new posts on the site two more tomorrow ,0.0
3611,divasonadate here is more of her story  her email address is on her profile page send her an ecard and love ,0.0
3612,ncolimo artieka bye you two ,2.0
3613,i forgot my lunchbox in the classroom ,2.0
3614,sorry louis but prob not going to be able to watch you tonight ,2.0
3615,  shes pitiful hey hows your dad,0.0
3616,woo hulu desktop my poor mac is kinda struggling with it though poor little core duo just cant keep up ,2.0
3617,takes back her last statusid cry and feel really bad if he choked ,2.0
3618,heya  cheers for the follow i shall return the favor   bradtv either of you feeling live,0.0
3619,beirutspring kataeb results show him in  place  boooo,2.0
3620,is at the station now and falling asleep why are yall taking so long ,2.0
3621,michpendergrass thanks  hmmthat was easy now what else can i say no toim on a roll haha,0.0
3622,its my dads birthday am wondering where hes spending his birthday today i hope his not alone ,2.0
3623,oh janellecool theres no food there   i hate being poor and not being able to ask my parents for money  ,2.0
3624,mcallahan what whatt  congrats on graduation ,0.0
3625,mistymonteith doesnt want to go on a date with me im sad now today is a sad day for twitter ,2.0
3626,sims save game corrupted   not a happy bunny,2.0
3627,you know you have crossed into motherhood when your friday nights with no kids are spent at the laundry mat ,0.0
3628, first day of work coffee in hand amp im ready to go ,0.0
3629,digitalparadigm dammit i wanted to go but i have werk  have fun,2.0
3630,wilw i eating my doritos when i read that mucous house commentgrossbut still funny ,0.0
3631,im sad,2.0
3632,pinkwaterfairy wonderful ring  looks super cooli love steampunk goodies ,0.0
3633,when the anxiety hits you like a truck lord help me 😞,0.0
3634,ugh up at  on a saturday ,2.0
3635,way to go tony you did well my friend ,0.0
3636,rt  the picture says it allafrica has been brutally abused by both the muslims amp christians the people have been robbed of,2.0
3637, absolutely amazing i wish i could see you at madison square gardens but i was a minute late  your awesome though,2.0
3638,jjmanton my cocochanel wow trial account expired  kinda bummed laugh people go ahead ,2.0
3639,whoohoo sewing time amp finished blocks for first quilt ,0.0
3640,i dont know how to work this but i do know that im going to stalk the sht out of all of you  also i just ate a wendys  hahahaha,0.0
3641,anyone else feel like theyre perpetually being used i give all i have almost everyday with my job self and few relationships w people i still have left why is it seemingly so hard to find others that do the sameanyone else feel like everyone they meet is just looking to take their good energy from them,3.0
3642,stevegodbold you have no idea i just want things to work so i can draw nice stuff ,0.0
3643,being nice once in a while doesnt hurt i guess ,0.0
3644,my teacher just died and she was my best friend and i never got to say goodbye to her so a little backstory im not gonna say her name sooo lets call her ms k she was a great teacher and loved every student i loved her so much because she was like a  mother to me and this storys kinda longso it was  days ago april   i was at my fathers house for the weekend but we decided to go to gamestop really quick before my mother got there and took us home we got in the car moms and got home ate food played some mortal kombat had a good time so i went to bed the next day however was darkeri woke up for some reason feeling that today was gonna be bad for starters i jumped out of bed thinking my mom forgot to wake me and so i was late for school i checked my school app on my phone whew i was so happy i happily skipped to my tv pressed the power button aaaaand nothing came on only then i realized the light indicating the tv was on wasnt on i started freaking out wondering why then i remembered what happened last night i was in bed tired as hell so a little woozy and went for my nice cold glass of sweet tea then i fuckin spilt it on my floor on my bed on my nightstand on my extension cord which was revealed i was internally freaking out wondering if i caused the power outage luckily i didnt we had a major storm the previous night which caused the willow tree in our back yard to snap apart will link photos at the end we went back to my dads he gladly took us in that day while my mom went to work it was nice got some soda played games just a fun time then it happenedi didnt know at the time of her death but i felt suddenly upset like as soon as ms k died i felt horrible but i didnt know why so i was uncomfortable we went back to my moms and had fun went to bed the usualtoday april   will always be remembered to me as my teachers death i went to school had breakfast did my periods and such then came scienceas soon as i walked in i heard cries of sadness and anger down the hall i didnt know why but i had science to do so i kept goingthen my friend not gonna say her name so well call her s s told mes dude i think ms k diedi froze i broke i didnt know what the fuck to do i just froze i started crying hoping praying it wasnt true s or i think sowe did our last periods of the day math and social studies then it happened all students and teachers gathered in my home room and we heard itmy teacher voice breaking class we are broken hearted to announce the passing of ms keveryone broke down kids crying everyone hugging it was horrible ms k if your soul is out there reading this i want you to know that i know you loved us and i loved you and so did everyone in the school may god watch over you and ill meet you again some daygoodbye we love you 👋🥺,3.0
3645,lousy mofo landlord   need to focus on kids packing but cant  nevermind sew sleeping bag ,2.0
3646,that screeching — such anxiety the last thing i see was a goblinmy mouth now feels crooked,2.0
3647,i dont want to die but i think about death as a release from this torture i keep my depression and anxiety in check usually with help of meds too but now after a year of feeling more or less human its all back again back to where i started back to square one i really want to live i dont want to die but this pain and this existence with this pain is unbearable and i realise that death is the only thing that will just remove it all permanently the only way to attain a state of blissful nothingness and its really my fault for not keeping my life in check not having my inner priorities straight not sticking to the routine that made me stable maybe not perfectly happy but at least stable and sane and i dont even have any major issues in life so many people have it so much worse and have the strength and the will to keep on going and im just a mess maybe not everyone is meant to live a full life and die of old age people die of cancer people die of aids people die of the flu even some people survive but some dont and thats just how life is its finite anyway depression is just another terminal illness and i really dont know if i have it in me to keep up i cry and cry and cry and realise that im just wallowing in self pity and i kick myself down even harder for thatand i have to be honest with myself i really dont want to die but i will one day anyway so what does it matter if this day is rather sooner than later and if its sooner maybe its not such a bad thing if it stops this torture in my head i wouldnt mind it maybe,3.0
3648,went for a walk with carmen  now i feel bad for accidentaly giving her a bruise on her leg getting her out of it ,2.0
3649,glamonicaa haha thank you ,0.0
3650,iamabookworm no that site with the awkward family photos ,0.0
3651,  i like diddy lol,2.0
3652,aww its not just a party ther is a band playing  really wana gooooooo,2.0
3653,ayteav dont worry its all good we use vouchers there was blood on the vomit i think im gonna die ,2.0
3654,mcstacey but youre not ,0.0
3655,underdogtn yeah the hubby and i will be paying student loans off for a loooooong time ,2.0
3656,rt trappening hairs healthy skins healthy mental health is at bay im not worried ☀️💕😌 ,0.0
3657,i just feel kinda shitty rn i always feel like crying but the sadness isnt focused enough to conjure tears luckily im not as suicidal as before but i still feel like a selfdeluding mess im behind on all of my schoolwork and feel worthless because i cant even handle what few responsibilities i have i feel pathetic typing this but its oddly comforting i just wanna let myself be sad for a moment who else wants to wallow with me,3.0
3658,paulandstorm amen the trailers are awesome and getting to sing  part harmony how cool is that ,0.0
3659,i want to escape my abusive situation but i just cant seem to do so story is that my older brothers been really mean to me and my mom for the past  years about two years ago he made my mom almost commit suicide with me following afterwards but i was able to stop her every year it seems to get worse and worse he would take my mom on drives to yell at her because she wouldnt be able to escape from a moving car it seems like he doesnt love his family as much as he loves those from the outside he joined a mormon church awhile ago and he seems to have taken a liking to them so much that we cant even say anything bad about them in fact he even got mad that we didnt use our money to buy stuff for his mormon people without ever telling us anything such as snacks and drinks hes been abusing us for awhile and we cant really do anything about it he would go out of his way to find us then proceeds to belittle us or shit talk us about how horrible we are for whatever reason me and my mom could be doing our own thing being busy and he would come and abuse us since i have no proof i cant tell people how bad he is so ive just recently today in fact started to try and record his abuse when i can with my phone it sucks to be in this situation and i wish that i was never in this situation idk why my brother hates me and my mom so much considering how we were the only two who never threw him away when he was seen as useless and a person that was not going to go anywhere in life yet the moment that he made it in life to an ok extent he throws us to the wayside and treats us like trashim not so sad that he hates me he did try to get his other half brothers and some friends to try and kill me in my senior year of high school four years ago im more sad that my mom is sad that she raised this abusive monster i want to punish him but i cant anymore mom protected him the whole time and now hes practically invincible to anything i can do to show that hes a monster ethically i dont want to run away because i have pride in myself to stay and fight i dont want to move away out of fear i want him to go away i cant ask for help because im only trying to ruin his life out of jealousy i cant warn the girl hes stringing along because it would mean that im going after her which is not true bc im gay but closeted i have to fight this monster all by myself while my mom and sister shields him from harms way and it sucks because theyre so bound with this stupid familial bond to him i want help so bad but i can only scream for it in my head i can only now wait until i have enough proof to call him out on his bullshit ,3.0
3660,ianhislop i used  c u all da time in charing x station i always dreamt of cing da show but could never get tix ,2.0
3661,is waiting for urban mediaspace to start  nice with a tiny break actually ,0.0
3662,dealing with depression is  harder when you despise your job ive been trying to find a new job for a little bit now but with no luck so now im at a point where i either stay and hate myself even more or i quit and try to live off of my little savings and hope i find something soon which just thinking about makes my anxiety spike i hate this ,3.0
3663,i am an arrhole and i dont know how to change i always seem to be two people one who cant shut up is creepy  is cocky and egotistacle  and makes everyone miserable when i am am around them but then randomly i just stop talking and become super antisocial suacidall and anxiousso bascily  i am miserable and make people less miserable or i am less miserable and people around me are miserable  ,3.0
3664,just joined the ambtenaar  network lets find out what buzzes there ,0.0
3665,newonybor i thought he was really genuine  i thought little aidan should have been in the top  too,0.0
3666,so tweepnet promises to quotauto send thousands of followfriday messagesquot dont make me say quoti told you soquot ,0.0
3667,cofused ,2.0
3668,silver users get a better background mist on the my friends page of xboxcom gutted ,2.0
3669,rt reachoutandread we must stop telling our kids we are bad at math end the spread of math anxiety today ,2.0
3670,thinking about the future and love  ,0.0
3671,anyway i truly hope yall are taking care of yourselves and coping with this in healthy ways demi wouldnt want y ,0.0
3672,kymberlyh we had to hand make projection schedules the phones are dead credit cards are running super slow and penny is down ,2.0
3673, that sucks  ,0.0
3674,amandafclark it is when you add the hammock ,0.0
3675,jesssicaraymond its not fair  everyone has gotten a reply from jessocaveronica except me ,2.0
3676,waste of space i miss being a child when i had no clue about such feelings or when i was happy and innocent my life now is completely pointless nothing brings me happiness and i dont see the point in living when you have nothing if your life is only filled with stress pressure and anger whats even the point in living electronics are my way of escaping the brutal reality of life but its not bringing me the joy it once did i have the burden of my parents to become a doctor so i spend hours studying and i barely get a break i feel the stress is what triggered my depression and all i want to do is rest i want to end it all but i just cant bring myself to do iti have nobody to express my feelings too as i dont have any friends the fact i dont have any friends has really taken a toll on my self esteem i know i am not pretty but i didnt think i was ugly i use to be quite outgoing i had many friends but i started to not want to do anything i lost all my friends my self esteem and i dont have the courage to rebuild my old liferecently i was exposed to the bitter reality i watched my family deteriorate and i just wanted to hide from it all id rather not go into detail but it was a rough time and i just didnt know how to deal with it all i feel this is what made it difficult for me to handle my emotions which has led me to where i am now i am just fucking done with everything and dont see the point in continuing a life of endless routine everyone in my family is depressed and i cant continue to fake a smile when really im at my lowest i always try to make everyone else happy but my depression is so bad i cant make anyone happy including myself i am just so done with life and this endless miserable cycle,3.0
3677,pattyoboe sigh wish i had more time and im extremely self conscious about my writing i made  errors grammar etc last time ,2.0
3678, i miss u tooim going to see dane cook tonight ,2.0
3679,hellcatbetty are you serious that would be awesome  youll stop by and say hi right lol,0.0
3680,negativenatalie oh thnx cuz i was bored didnt know what to do ,0.0
3681,my parents found out about my suicide plan unfortunately one of my close friends who i thought i could trust reached out to them and now they know dont know what im gonna do now ,3.0
3682,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
3683,going to school in pajamassss   i rreeeaaallyy needa catch up on my sleeeep,0.0
3684,mileycyrus awwwww but your so good at what you do ,0.0
3685,creativeswag awl  that sounds nice,0.0
3686,brianosler wow i thought it was good but  x good you must love it ,0.0
3687,i dont understand the world i love u boy ,2.0
3688,abiface go to the o and for the  you come home ,0.0
3689, surei got my eyes on you ,0.0
3690,gmail no  spam ,2.0
3691,mann my sister left ii miiss her already ,2.0
3692,oh of course the car starts fucking up when i have plans to party  fml  ,2.0
3693,kattalyne being a kitty i guess the key word is milk  ,0.0
3694,i cant even get out of bed in the morning as im writing this its currently  and i woke up around  and i just still cant get out of bedits been like this every morning for the past few weeks i find less and less reasons to even get out of bed usually ill just lie here awake alone in the dark just doing nothing sometimes ill eventually start crying cause i just dont know what to do getting up and being social and taking a shower or eating food it all just feels like so much of a chore to meevery time i go to sleep its like a fucking nightmare my dreams are always the same one way or another either its about fantasizing my death or just somehow being happy around the people i love and i just wake up crying because its cut short and i know its never what ill havei dont understand how i can always be feeling such pain and still feel nothing at the same time,3.0
3695,drowning ive been struggling pretty bad since this pandemic has taken off im not a very outgoing person but i do have my group of friends that i like to go out and see the issue stems from the stay in place which dont get me wrong i fully understand the importance of the rule and why its so important im struggling with the isolation my closest friends are two hours away in a city im trying to move to but due to the pandemic the hiring scene has all but slowed down my best friend i cant see without risking a fine we are being told to isolate ourselves to flatten the curve and to me isolation brings up my greatest fear of ending up alone i have had nightmares for the last  days now and my day time my thoughts are plagued with self doubt all the way to just offing myself im trying to stay strong but i dont know how much more i can handle,3.0
3696,went to the beach again today with campbell n emma to meet my college buds  had an ace daymiss him now hes gone   but meh lol x,0.0
3697,my homework is due in  minutes and i didnt complete it because i was watching titanic ,2.0
3698,waitin with mi madre in stfrancis so she can get her iron dosage  this shyts crack yo loll,0.0
3699,katebornstein link doesnt appear to work again ,2.0
3700,emotionallly distant from parents anyone else have parents who love you but you guys barely talk like so many of my friends see their parents as their ultimate confidant and best friend but ive never felt that way i cant bring myself to be personal with them,3.0
3701,unrealmusik those videos shows what a horrible and dark world we live in and how little some people value other peoples lives ,2.0
3702,a quick poem i made phasing through the night the dayhoping all will soothe awaybut the pain decides to stayi wish i was im not okaysun shakes up moon feeds sleepwhen stand up the hurt is deepwhen lay down the cue to weepinto tears and thoughts i leapthinking through and through and throughtrying to take another viewtrying to kill what in me grewtossing myself into the bluedo i stay or do i godo i hide or do i growdo i think or do i knowto me myself and i  i owe,3.0
3703,victoriamonro because im amazing ,0.0
3704,fatafeat   why my comment was deleted ,2.0
3705,landed back at london heathrow airport  strong coffee before i head back to essex thank you for the hospitality mauritius ,0.0
3706,studying for history test  bored,2.0
3707,maybe graduating from college isnt so great  getting ready to head back to caliand inevitably the real world,2.0
3708,is home with the munchkins doing laundry and trying to catch up on a little resthad a fun time seeing my parents and sister yesterday ,0.0
3709,still have this song in my head  hot air balloon by owl city ,0.0
3710,nuchtchas thats totally secondhand though i tend to forget to take pics coughcough balticon coughcough ,0.0
3711,is self harm bad ive had a long history with depression and self harm and i recently started to get help for it ive talked about my self harm to my doctor and  therapists and they were oddly ok with it my doctor even saying just make sure you clean up my family was pretty devastated when they found out and so idk anymore im hear to ask for yalls opinion on this,3.0
3712, aww   im good got two friends from australia visiting so were drinking red wine and enjoying ourselves  you working ,0.0
3713,abcdefglynis okay sent ,0.0
3714,elesbells  im so sorry hug itll be okay,2.0
3715,back to my old mo basically im falling into my old habit of getting close to finishing something and developing depression and anxiety that keeps me from actually achieving something ive been doing pretty well for the past five years so this is a little surprising but also its the first time im doing something big graduating with a new degree the problem is im this awkward mix of old and new of wanting to sink into the numbness and hide then the next day i feel happy and hopeful the new is always followed by a sort of confusion of what happened and im beating myself up about choosing to fail the day before its an exhausting cycle im seeing a therapist weekly and moved my doc appointment up when this started to keep me from going to classes i feel like im doing the right things about  of the time and the professionals say good work but socially and academically that isnt sustainable and frankly i see most people in my life about forty times more often than my therapistdoc im just sitting here today sighing and actually wishing i could be back to numb because clear and unmotivated is the worst point ,3.0
3716,ive been entered into ms twitterworld vote for me please i need to beat my sister lol  ,0.0
3717,pal que pregunta si mi best además de ser sad y masoquista es tarada adjunto rta,1.0
3718,hasta mañana twitter ,0.0
3719, haha i love how youre nocturnal and how weird things like light censors amuse you ,0.0
3720,my life became bad the day i was born i dont know why but since i was really young ive alway hate life for unknow reason alway going trought day and feel like  day after another just weight more and more on me mentaly  ive use to be scare of what happen after being dead but since im  i got so low that at this point im not afraid anymore i really desire death to a point i sleep peacefully at night just to thinks how of a  delivrence dying woud be  ive alway had a cycle of i dont know if its depression or something else but like every  month ive go really low  and the most anoying thing its its alway comming back and alway done anything i coud to try make thing better and yet im out of that phase but sadly it will comeback in  month  the only reason im still fighting the tought of killing my self is because im well aware that i will hurt my family but at same time im just hurting my self when im trying  to move forward  because i want to protect my family but  at same tame i want the peace and stop suffering anyone went trought this ,3.0
3721,lol boss gets hard when i sing the brady bunch ,0.0
3722,feel like im going through a breakup two weeks ago one of my best friends decided she needed a break from our friendship but i think she terminated our friendship weve been best friends since we were like  im  now we just got matching tattoos a couple months ago we just bought concert tickets to see one of our favorite bands in june she decided she didnt wanna be friends with me anymore because i started seeing a guy she had a crush on  years ago and i didnt ask her permission they never seriously talked never dated no mutual romantic interest she just had a crush on him the week before i told her we were going on a date with him we got in a fight because she wanted me to go clubbing with her on a night i had to be at work at  she has always been a bit on the over dramatic side of things but i truly didnt think shed want to end being friends with me over a guy she tried to talk to over  years ago ive been struggling a lot more with my anxiety and slight depression ever since and i just needed to vent i suppose ,3.0
3723,took so many colorful pictures of myself now i want chocolate ,2.0
3724,cubs  dodgers   oh happy day ,0.0
3725,awwww sabinakelley im so bummed i could go to wintersun ,2.0
3726,tylerhilton heard it was good enjoy ,0.0
3727,playing with his new mac proand slightly disappointed ,2.0
3728,renatebeate yes i think we can assume that it is hope itll taste well ,0.0
3729,maternalspark   thanks but i am just super happy with all the info you keep tweeting i love it,0.0
3730,pegasusnz i can email more detailed instructions if you want lemme know  its fabulous and simple ,0.0
3731,random day with yama b and denopulencia today ,0.0
3732,sad i didnt see yall today nenettt alyssaannram,0.0
3733,my stomach hurts ,2.0
3734,cant wait until you start reading moon child we need to be sharing crack as good as this  ,0.0
3735,novawildstar only those who deserve it  so erm thats about  of the population of the world safe ,0.0
3736,happy mothers day ,0.0
3737,im so exhausted im just so drained its hard to explain im not physically tired well i always am just not more than usual but mentally almost i dont feel any desire to meet up with people even my closest friends who i do genuinely love and appreciate i kind of just want to live in my room alone forever im on break from uni right now i started freshman year last fall and dont get me wrong its a great school and everyone ive met so far has been amazing but the thought of going back makes me so miserable i want to be shut in my room forever i dont know why in fact im under the impression that i wont live past like  years old because im convinced that my life just wont last that long i feel like im in this bubble by myself where everyone else has things to do things they enjoy but im just existing and doing the things that are expected of me like going to school having somewhat of a social life sometimes i figure whats actually the point in me being alive if something happened to me and i instantly died i honestly would not mind that much obviously i do have a fear of what comes after death but at this point my actual life makes me feel so detached that i wouldnt mind escaping the only thing that would hold me back is the fact that me dying would devastate my parents and i genuinely cant bear that and thats another thing my parents are so loving to me and i have amazing friends and i go to a great school and so all i feel is guilt for being this miserable and every time something good comes my way my immediate thought is that i dont deserve it not because i think im worthless per se but because i just havent done anything remarkable usually good deeds come with rewards but i dont consider myself a good enough person to actually deserve some of the luxuries  that sometimes come my way for example my last flight back home was upgraded to a business class seat as i had collected enough miles and my immediate thought was i dont deserve this i just feel so tired and drained and objectively in my head i know that people shouldnt be this sad all the time but i genuinely cant remember a time when i wasnt like this so i cant ever see my life actually being good im sorry my thoughts are all over the place i just wanted to vent,3.0
3738, smh damn you think she dodging idk my day was iight i wanted  go see hangover  we should go see it if we dont go  amazura,2.0
3739,matthardybrand chaotic times eh well i think i can find the opportunity during those times ,0.0
3740,anyone who tests that new exe could you please open task manager and watch quotmemoryquot under the processes tab for engineexe kthx ,0.0
3741,ive seen them lose their kids to social workers cuz they been struggling with depression and cant get back up,1.0
3742, of feb no regrets for  years a funny story for anyone feeling down today i fell down quite badly snowboarding today and broke my ribs and the very first thing i saw when i finally got home from the mountain was a fb post saying that today there are no regrets for  years as it is febuary the  and i audible yelled liar at my phone screen as i am in for a bare minimum of  weeks of regret i hope this brightens someones day,3.0
3743,today is a very sad day after all ,2.0
3744,im so tired of this every single day i have to fight myself just to get up in the morning im tired but not just the physical tired of a days work at  i am sincerely tired of being here i feel like ive lived  years and im at the point where passing away in my sleep would be more than welcome my medications are obviously not working and i desperately need therapy but i cant gather the motivation to do anything the things i enjoy are steadily becoming dull and although i have so many things i need to do so many important things that i know will better my life i dont have the willpower to do them i feel trapped i feel trapped in an endless cycle of the same bullshit over and over and over wake up early go to work at a job i dont like with people i dont care for come home tired waste the rest of the day on my computer restlessly go to bed repeat repeat repeat im absolutely sick of the people im surrounded by im so tired of dealing with other peoples bullshit the racism the bigotry the hate the ignorance of course its always met with well theyre family well they grew up in a different time well you have to love and accept and obey your parents fuck you and fuck everyone like you you think being family means i have to sit here and take your hypocritical greedy ive got mine so fuck everyone else fucking bullshit im sick of it i dont want you people in my life anymore i dont understand how people can be happy at this point i truly dont not living america at least i dont know how anyone can find what they want to do with their life how am i supposed to know i cant just try out college level careers im already in tens of thousands of dollars in debt and i cant stop thinking about all the bad things how do you not constantly think about how terrible everything is how are you ok australia is burning our planet is dying were on the brink of a needless war people are bringing back preventable diseases because they deny science they deny climate changeim just so tired im tired im lonely and i feel nothing but hopeless i cant see a happy ending for me i see either a long life of misery or a shortened one because i just couldnt do it anymore im scared because i know that im the only person who can change myself but i dont think i will allow myself to change the entire structure of society as a whole going to work having to earn money to live a happy life being held responsible for things and people i dont want and didnt ask for i hate it all and its tearing me apart normal people dont think this way my thoughts are selfish and lazy but i never asked for nor wanted any of this i just want out,3.0
3745,lopsi  dont shatter my unsuitable visions,2.0
3746,jamieharrington absolutely ,0.0
3747,the morning is going to be teh suxors making myself get up at  to try and reset my sleep clock no more stay up to  and sleep till  ,2.0
3748,i went skydiving to experience the sensation of suicide my marriage of  years ended because i developed depression and after three years of severe symptoms she couldnt cope with me anymore i spent two years pulling myself together getting on the right meds working out daily doing a bit of travelling and working on my job admittedly my biggest motivation by far was showing my ex wife that i was worth another chance since then my ex wife started getting back in touch telling me that she regretted leaving me every day realised what was important in a relationship and wanted to meet i was so scared of getting my i put off meeting her for six months and just as we were about to meet she revealed that she started dating someone else a few weeks ago while we were planning on meeting but doesnt see it going much further with him i dont know if ive been used for six months whether shes for real whether she has complicated feelings about us that are still worth fighting for but at this point im losing my mind the only rest i get from this hell of depression is when she calls me up and we laugh and joke for hours then she disappears for a couple of daysanyway last month i got so upset one day that i drove down to a local skydiving club and signed up to jump out of a plane the next day i did with zero fear because i literally didnt care if i lived or died ive literally told nobody about it because its so out of character people would worry about me,3.0
3749,btstwt i just wanted to say how bts changed my life thank you i have an anxiety disorder and i always get pani httpstcoyhtealrnwk,1.0
3750,yes for the new fic ,0.0
3751,just finished a nice bowl of soup at panera gonna watch the officei love that freakin show ,0.0
3752,plaync aionamboss thanks for sending my beta key so exciting ,0.0
3753,chillin in the bed my girls are stilll here  love you guys ,0.0
3754, make dreams a reality right hon ,0.0
3755,could lsd help my depression  i have been suffering from anxiety and depression throughout my life and i feel that these traits have stunted me in life as far as progress is concerned the lack of motivation and the constant worry and stress have kept me back i have desperately tried to from a young age try to find salvation in drugs adrenaline such as from suicidal sportbike riding and anything else i can find to be pleasurable im proud to say i have cut out almost all addictive drugs been sober for a few months with the exception of a small drink here and there and a lot of caffeine my depression seems to stem from a few things including knowing that i will die one day that i will grow old and watch my life and everything ive worked for wither away im not religious and i dont believe in an afterlife i do believe that maybe one day i might reincarnate anew into something else but that doesnt help with the anxiety and depression of losing everything ive known and loved it also stems from the fact that for the rest of my life i will also have to slave away doing mindless jobs it also doesnt help to see humanity as a whole either our infrastructure is based in selfishness knowing this just makes me feel alienated we have so much potential to manifest and become anything we want yet we act like hatefulselfish morons i also have a problem with suffering i just dont see why we are capable of feeling so much pain and discomfort it makes me feel like we might be living in a simulated prison i have tried many other things in this quest for happiness meditation music exercise  kind of went into the bad side with bodybuilding and steroids lol supplements new activities and many other things meditation seems to be effective but only in the moment because in the moment i exist in a void and in the void is where i am at peace so in a way meditation kind of makes me want to die lol i have also tried having out of body experiences which i have had once but i saw things that were pretty terrifying i also felt like id never come back if i ventured far since then i have not been able to project because of my fear i feel that if i could learn to effectively have out of body experiences i would be able to feel free maybe lsd could help me out with thisyet it seems even with all of these things my problems remain i realize that all ive been doing is trying to escape the reality of my problems trying to run away im tired of running away im tired of distracting myself i just want to be genuinely happy i want to be happy with a deep sense of purpose to my life i have come across research about the many therapeutic benefits of psychedelics and i have indeed experimented with mushrooms from time to timeas far as mushrooms go ive tried taking the trip approach as well as the microdose route unfortunately i tend to experience a lot of anxiety during the trip making it seem like a long battle with myself instead of a healing experience the microdose method seemed to be taking the edge off but stopped being effective as soon as i stoppedso this brings me to lsd i have only had the pleasure of trying lsd once but it was a really low dose i do have to say that i did really enjoy it a lot more so than mushrooms comparing the two i would say lsd was a more analytical energetic and in control trip i could say felt more like an animal on mushrooms my thoughts would be more chaotic in comparison to lsd story time during one high dose experience on mushrooms i literally felt like an animal i took off all of my clothes and crawled around my room like one of the creature from a tool video fun time after that i went out of body and into a subconscious landscape of my own domain ohh but that was an amazing fun time even if it wasnt very therapeuticwith this comparison and the research i have done it seems lsd would be a better candidate for working on the self my goal is to try to shift my perspective to integrate and rewire my brain with a new perspective on life i want to appreciate and see life in a new light i want to be alive again i dont want to feel like a zombie anymore i dont want to have thoughts of suicide crawling  in the back of my mind i just want to be at peace with myself and the worldi dont want to be reliant on drugs for the rest of my life i want to live and not just because of a drug making me want to live i guess thats hypocritical of me to say since our happiness is really mainly based upon a chemical concoction im just a stubborn person i suppose all i can say is that im not happy with my life i want to do something with a higher purpose and i want to be free i just feel like i cant find that here but maybe i can hack myself with lsd to make myself believe i belong and have purpose to make myself feel like im really free after all everything is just based upon the interpretation of reality and the chemical concoctions within our brain i want to hear advice and input from people that have done lsd and psilocin for a comparison do you think i could use it to effectively hack my brain to happiness and purpose without relying on it as just another medication do you think it would be a better tool to work with on these problems compared to psilocin also what dose would be recommended for mental work any feedback would be appreciated,3.0
3756,i feel bad now ,2.0
3757,a warning boxing will kill youbut lord youll look good gettin buriedlolits a trade off folks more boxing to go ,0.0
3758,my feet hate me and refuse to stop releasing pain throughout my body   my apartamento ,2.0
3759,insearchofnkotb i know so sad ,2.0
3760,melsterb hehe a day closer to sunday ,0.0
3761,cant wait for conan june  ,0.0
3762,omgjust got back from watching up  so cute made me cry  my kids where giving me a wierd lookbut it im a softy i cry for anything,2.0
3763,wtf the color doesnt show up in my hair  im gonna do it again later and leave it in longer under heat,2.0
3764,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
3765,wants to get back home or atleast get over with the kgp ordeal no fun anymore ,2.0
3766,schofe i understand weird phobias im scared of lorries without any load on them when theyre jst the front wheels and drivers bit ,2.0
3767,citysearchla i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
3768,jeanelakin you are welcome we look forward to more stimulating discussions from barcampers ,0.0
3769,i dont want to die but i just dont want to exist hi everyone i usually come here to vent about certain stuff ive been suicidal since middle school and had suicidal thoughts for awhile high school has been awful most of my friends ended up ditching me for other reasons i had friends leave me because i was way too negative and sad and now i hang with a bunch of shitheads because i really dont have anywhere else to go the only people that i really have in my life is my girlfriend whom ive been with for  months and my family whom really care for me i dont really want to imagine what theyll feel if i really died especially my grandma this post was supposed to be a rant but i went a little off topic basically ive been stressing out with so much shit lately its really weighing me down my friends are a bunch of shitheads they dont talk to me they always make fun of me and treat me like shit and make fun of my depression i dread going to that shithole of my high school theres so many horrible people that judge each other and all that other shit i really dont have nobody to talk to except my girlfriend and my family and i always feel alone even with them on my side ive been stressing so much in school and other shit that i just dont want to exist ,3.0
3770,anyone whos suicidal pls answer im asking this from a throwaway account bc i dont want people that know me to see this i just turned  i graduated this year and ive been looking for a job for over a year bc im from germany and graduates all start their new jobs on the first of august or september and all ive been receiving is rejections ive been having suicidal thoughts for over three years since my mum passed away and i feel like not finding a job is just the last straw for me i dont want to do this anymore im so tired of getting my hopes up and always being rejected and i just cant do this anymore im just so tired of being a failure and letting my family down so if anyone has advice on what you do to make yourself feel better please comment its already past  and im really scared that today is the day im gonna do it,3.0
3771,ex is back in the dating game and it hurts granted he never loved me and i probably never loved him we were together for only four months so it wasnt even a real relationship ive never been in a real one so ive been dealing with a lot of fear to be forever alone  female this is what hurts me more than knowing any chance with him is now gone i know it wasnt a good match i have no say in his dating life anyway ive made a lot of progress over the past year but i dont see myself as dateable all anyone ever wanted from me was a short fling i still dont understand why as i am introverted and not known as a party girl i had my first time with him it all just hurts,3.0
3772,nolotto nothing many writers are busy so there arent many blog posts but we will start posting soon ,0.0
3773,did i do something wrong it seems for my whole life ive never really had any close friends or at least not ones that have stuck around very long im an extrovert but youd never guess because i have almost no friends no one really talks to me or asks me to hang out ever it makes me think something is deeply wrong with me or the way i act i must be repelling people somehowbut i dont know what i love everyone so much this problem has been amplified by this virus im high risk and i live all alone my mom has been buying groceries but apart from when she drops them off i havent seen another person in a month and all my friends know this but no one asks me how im doing or if im okay im not is that selfish for me to be sad about that i feel so invisible like if i got this virus and died no one would even notice i dont know what i did to not deserve love and friendship its all i want,3.0
3774,so not looking fwd for tued  if i receive that news about my health  it changes my whole life around fingers cross ive just migraines,2.0
3775,i have had  days of tv control and there is damn near nothing worth watching ,2.0
3776,my stomach hurt i have stomach pain ,2.0
3777,moiswashere can yu please clear out that realmoisesarias isnt real  ,0.0
3778,poeticline yes the whole cast is simply amazing i cant see a single weak one among them ,0.0
3779,is slacking off from running and swimming also missed out on morning ride today because of a night of drunken tomfoolery ,2.0
3780,im upsetthis wound have to heal ,2.0
3781,my legs are sweating on the leather ,2.0
3782,lunch then going to the mccoyleonard wedding and reception today only  more day left in indiana after today  ,2.0
3783, thats it you tell him too ,0.0
3784,teddib oh man i totally forgot about your message about the tripod  sorry im home non work hours on wed all day thru n fri,2.0
3785,i have a toothache ,2.0
3786,constantly exhausted im in my senior year of college and trying my damnedest to actually be motivated but its so damn hard i am currently prescribed to zoloft  mg and if anything is making my tired constantly the reasoning i initially started taking it was bc my anxiety and ocd were affecting my ways of living despite that i was still able to get shit done now i hardly have any anxiety or ocd but am more depressed i believe i am  it shouldnt be this hard to get out of bed start my career pursue a relationship but all of that is way too overwhelming to me and at the end of the day i start thinking whats the point i just wish i could be a normal fucking human being this sucks,3.0
3787,another great weekend i never want to leave delaware ,2.0
3788,davebarnesmusic and what music is on ur playlist from hell just wondering of course ,0.0
3789,woo hoo another nice day ,0.0
3790,ellljayy i agree shes obviously got a great chance of winning i think shaheen has a good chance though i love stavros flatley  l,0.0
3791,i miss you somuch im thinking of you all the time  hellno ha ha evil laugh ,2.0
3792, sorry finishing up worki blog all the time ,0.0
3793,emilyjane its english and photography work such a mish ,2.0
3794,i really need a job i also miss my boy ,2.0
3795,im scared of something the dread is always followed by fake euphoria i dont know what this feeling is but i want it to end this feeling of dread is over me constantly only leaving for the occasional moment of normality or euphoria its like i start worrying about pointless things so much that my stomach begins to hurt and then all of a sudden i can dismiss the thought and this feeling of euphoria takes over for around fifteen seconds then slowly fades away back into numbnessnormality and then back to the worrying which eventually reaches a peak that has to be somehow alleviated i dont know why this happens and that may be the source of it all i dont know why anything happens i dont want to die but i dont want this feeling to stay i was happy for around  years of my life i had a friend a best friend we did everything together he basically lived at my house we played video games stayed up countless nights watched tv shows and he spent weeks at my house over summers we were best friends from third to eighth grade ninth is where things started to change he didnt want to be inside playing video games anymore i never wanted to leave the house he and some of my other friends started hanging out together without me and i couldnt even blame them but its left a gigantic hole in me i keep good grades at school because i feel that if i dont i wont have an identity anymore im the smart kid i have no identity amongst my peers outside of that id be fucked if i were to lose my one defining characteristic i envy people who can sit down for a test they didnt study for and not give a fuck what their score will be i love music i cant play or write it though despite all of my efforts i suppose it comes with time but my friend who started guitar lessons at the same time as i did has become much more advanced than i have and he quit his lessons a while ago every time i try to write lyrics they sound like absolute shit i dont know chord progressions and i know that i wont dedicate the time to learn shit like that i cant even enjoy my hobbies anymore whenever i try to play video games this aforementioned sense of dread lingers over me and i have to remind myself that im staring at meaningless pixels i support the ideas of optimistic nihilism and absurdism that state that you should create your own meaning in life and make it beautiful because life has no inherent meaning and even if it did we would most likely have no way of comprehending it but the thing is i dont know what my meaning is going to be could love change that i dont know ive never experienced it im in tenth grade sixteen years old with no drivers license only one awkward relationship under  my belt no first kiss and most definitely no sex i know im likely to find another relationship later on but it does not seem likely that its going to happen during my high school years and i cant even imagine what its going to feel like to deal with all of this for another two years of high school im fucked i have school in  hours thanks for taking the time to read this if you made it this far i dont expect a solution to these problems but any response sort of response would be appreciated i just needed to vent,3.0
3796,watching transformers to kill time before going to yvr im so sad well miss the opening of the sequel ,2.0
3797,bklynchick  whod ya hit  ,0.0
3798,im in austin tx at cap city comedy this week wed thru sat ,0.0
3799, when are you going to hawaii we wont be able to talk as much then ,2.0
3800,apagando timetowork ,2.0
3801,liamsp croppley i wanted to say that  i am into heamophilia foshizzzzz,2.0
3802,laurendaymakeup good morning hun i loved the movie what happens in vegas it is such a good movie ,0.0
3803,rt  find me a cuter maknae than this i dare you dongwoon gt lt ,0.0
3804,i have a confession to make i have royally fucked myself and have been spending the past year and a half trying to repair the damage i have done to myself i have not made much progress yet for an unknown reason im still moving my hearts still beating and the candles still burning whyi was born into a middle class family the type where i could get relatively what ever i wanted my parents have never had any troubles providing shelter food and i got my first few years of community paid for as well from the outside my life should be pretty goodbut i was born different born with a sense of uncomfort that never went away and when i confessed that to my parents in middle school when i thought for myself for the first time i was told you will never be that kid that needs a therapist and so i began the long game of pretend i ignored my depression through middle school and high school every damn day it was the same fucking cycle of depression i caved in once more in high school and told my parents i didnt know why i was alive anymore i was told how dare you use that against us looking back on it im absolutely disgusted my parents who do love me i guess never knew how to show empathy and when i told them i was suicidal they ignored it the next day so i continued playing pretend if my child said they were suicidal id do whatever i could to help themthe most adult decision i ever made was seeing a therapist of my own choice my parents were okay with it they obviously thought it was the right choice for me because they would never be against me seeing a therapistive done so much harm to myself i often forget its not normal ive cust my wrists to stop the noise ive been diagnosed with a depersonalization disorder i consistently feel like im viewing myself in third person ive maintained a good lie for so long but i never had the mental capacity for a relationship ive been too busy suffering ive abused adderall to stop the noise when i gave up on cutting ive abused painkillers because the first time i took  too many it felt good i drive  miles per hour easily and as a result actually got pretty good at driving at fast speeds the most painfull thing was a while back when my therapist said youve been emotionally neglected your whole life not by just your parents but by yourself ive looked at my parents in the eyes and felt nothing but absolute disgust i pity them because i know they love me but they dont have the empathy to understand or try to connect with me my dad said a while back that i could save money by not seeing a therapist the only thing that keeps me going meanwhile this shitbag vomited when i told him i was suicidal years back and he has the fucking audacity to comment on me going to therapydisgustingim not in pain im exhausted i want the noise to stop but theres no reason in doing unhealthy things to myself because it wont help meive treated myself for shit for so long that undoing the damage is going to take a whole lifetime and remembering that i got laughed at for telling my parents i wanted to be alone just a few months ago i got laughed at for being honest for being strong for being proud that i have the strength to work past my depression the only happiness i know is just in the moment which isnt bad but ive never once felt happy for an extended period of time just the noise just the fucking noise nothing but the god damn noisebut i live for the day where i can actually look at someone and say lifes going great as compared to my usual it could be better i live for the day where my brain isnt focused on playing pretend so i can relax and actually move forwardsif theres one thing my parents have taught me well its how to hate and i hate it,3.0
3805,thanks for putting us in todays foodbuzz top   guess yall like swiss chard too  ,0.0
3806,help me i had sex with someone i dont want she had her period a week later and after a month she only had it one day she thinks its weirdif shes pregnant i want to kill myself i dont know what to do i need help,3.0
3807,to the lady behind me in line at meijer thank you for your awesome display of cleavage it made my morning ,0.0
3808,ozdj that will do  thanks ,0.0
3809,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
3810,googles logo celebrating  years of tetris httpbitlyypbcz  i love the game ,0.0
3811,time to get ready for bed had more than a full day although  major thing did not get done going to edwelkers house will do tomorrow ,2.0
3812,hey guys i honestly dont know which persons are my  genuine friends anymore but at the same time im like who the fuck cares anyway all they do is ask if i can lend them some money and if they can get a ride home or something stupidand they never ask how i feel or how ive been doing for the past few days im seriously the only one who initates those kinds of questionsi sometimes feel like saying that im right here right here im a human too i have feelings but im always afraid to say that sort of thing it scares the shit out of me to be judged maybe its because i sometimes push them away when they get too close i honestly dont knowhuman connection is something ive struggled with for a long time which in my opinion brought me down to depression in the first place it all seems so fake unreal and just downright uncomfortable for meso yeah fuck it fuck them and also fuck me im tired i just felt like ranting good day to you guys,3.0
3813,raw thoughts this is the result of freeassociation writing i took a few shots and typed what was on my mind this is what came outim evil why the fuck do i do this the universe doesnt deserve me please fucking kill me im drinking and killing my fucking brain like i deserve why the fuck do i do this please fucking kill me please god fucking kill me i dont deserve life just fucking kill me i waste all my time and fuck over the people around me they dont love me and they shouldnt im useless im worthless i need medication but i dont ask for it because im retarded i say i cant afford it but im afraid they will say im sane and dont need it my biggest fear is being told im actually sane i dont want to know that what im doing is normal because i hate myself so much how could a normal person be this way a normal person doesnt drink every night a normal person doesnt lie constantly a normal person is happy a normal person doesnt think about their dad and get pissed off a normal person isnt abandoned a normal person wouldnt do voices and make fun of people to take the attention off of their self if i had a gun i would blow my head off  times a day because i cant fucking take this anymore i dont know what to do i cant believe anyone because theyre all sparing my feelings nobody tells me the truth they all think im either crazy or stupid so they wont tell me what they think i constantly tell them what i think of them but they never fire back i criticize people in jest but they all refrain from doing the same to me they act like im fucking retarded they act like im made of glass just tell me what the fuck you think i already know what you all think about each other youve all told me in secret what you think of each other you all criticize each other endlessly but im supposed to believe you dont turn the lens on me fuck you i may be in denial about some things but every one of you is fucking lying to me,3.0
3814,a shattered heartwhere bullying plants the seeds of depression mentalhealthawareness depression,2.0
3815,dh listening to the today prog decided to try twitter ,0.0
3816,stinkle still watching it  we just got done babysitting and were about to finish the movie at home ,0.0
3817,icanhaswar hope it was better then mine  was it one of those quotall you can eatquot places,2.0
3818,derby is a best of times worst of times sport ,0.0
3819,xbeforethestorm i knoe i want that dogg  lol but i got  already  lmao,0.0
3820,spellgirlsummer i cannot wait to see what the selection is like at this store ive never been  how are you,0.0
3821,alysheeapm oh no dont cry ,2.0
3822,have to do my homework  ,2.0
3823,iamdavidcook your here and im not seeing you  this sucks,2.0
3824,rt samcowen people dont realise that depression isnt situational you can have a great life and still get panic and anxiety or feel li,1.0
3825,gotta go tweets im tired  gettin the next  days off school to go shoppin though so il will tweet tomorro nitee xo,2.0
3826,night everybody  ,0.0
3827, many spammers pe twitter ,2.0
3828,lovealwaysww yeaa  aac  american airlines center,0.0
3829,so hungry but cant get outta bed to save my lifewishin i was still in vegas ,2.0
3830,snl on jack right now funny ,0.0
3831,im so weary of living i dont know how ill get through the next week much less the next year i never wanted any of this i care for nothing i want nothing anymore im just finished but wont let go why cant i die living to spite others doesnt work living for yourself doesnt work nothing works nothing burn it down burn it all to ash be rid of it be free of it i never wanted any of this hell ive had to suffer because of my father ,3.0
3832,crisis panik everything at once i am in a moment in life where i dont really understand why i am even trying to continue why i am waiting for it to get better i lost my drivingsliciense and that meant that i had to change job to a job where i didnt need to drive and i absolutly hate this new place i cry everytime after work or some times during work i am miserable here and i cant find another job because i need to have a drivingsliciense to do that my doctor told me that i could get my drivingsliciense back if i did a test to determind if i have epilepsia or not but when the test was done she went on vacation and will not be back until the last day to send in the result to the trafikboard and no one in the hospital could tell me if i am well or not i dont care about the liciense anymore i just want to know if i have epilepsia or not just tell me but no i have to wait and i dont know if that is good or bad news if i have to wait for the doctor to come back but i just dont want to hope for anything goodi tried to apply for the university but it failed so now i am stuck in this shitty job trying to get enough money so i can have a couple of days off to heal from all the bad things that happens at work i dont know what i am waiting for i dont know what i am working for i am just sitting here in this shitty job and life just waiting for my doctor to come home from her vacation so she can tell me if i have epilepsia or noti am holding down so much frustration and anger and sadness i feel like exploding ,3.0
3833,taking a break while trying to pack alone and bored in daly city  anyone down to watch up conmigo,2.0
3834,listening to i wanna know you by miley and davidarchie  and i quit i quit i quit by the click five,0.0
3835,dmb no i def dont but you should let me in on the secret cause that would be sweet ,0.0
3836,kbrock too bad in is a reserved keyword in ruby ,2.0
3837,will be distracting myself with musictonightrunning la jollas farmers market for flowers and everything in between until  tomorrow ,2.0
3838,hesitant about taking ssris lexapro specifically  hi allfirst off apologies for the new account i just want this account so i can post to this and other similar subs specifically and discreetlya little history on me i was prescribed antidepressants at age   for anxiety and depression i started with lexapro eventually staying at a   daily dose i experienced some crazy dreams increased aggression and an increase in reckless behavior i stopped taking it after a year only to have the anxiety returnat age  jan  i started taking zoloft eventually taking  to deal with increased anxiety and depression due to life circumstances but still the medication gave me reckless behavior increased aggression crazy dreams etc i stopped taking it after a few years i think fall of  things seemed ok after that i could control my anxiety and depression and for the most part loved a pretty happy lifethis past fall i had a terrible experience at a new job it was a complete mismatch and i had several panic attacks the anxiety was unbearable and i left i started seeing my therapist again and he and my doctor want me to go back on ssris first i tried zoloft again but i felt awful getting back on it im worried though i feel like i havent had complete success with them in the past and im very suspicious of themi recently came across these posts and this articlehttpswwwhormonesmattercomkindledbrainlongtermlexaprousereactionshttpswwwhormonesmattercombrainlongtermlexaprochemicallyinducedtbithe top posts essentially accuse lexapro of causing long term brain damage through neurotoxicity the article from the guardian just outlines how hard it is to come off of a particular ssri seroxat but the condition described in the article sounds very similar to the condition in the blog posti guess my questions are should i put any stock into these posts is this just anecdotal bullshit are my apprehensions in taking ssri medication unfounded should i keep searching until i find the right onetldr  i am hesitant to go back on ssri medication and came across some articles that outline potential long term brain damage caused by ssris am i just scaring myself with anecdotal bullshit,3.0
3839,sonnylovato i know ,2.0
3840,can someone have a house party where its strictlydeftonesdeftonesdeftonesdeftonesdeftonesdeftonesdeftones ,2.0
3841,chrisoldroyd oooh it your birthday well then happy birthday chris  dont sweat it you aint old yet thats next year ,0.0
3842,just woke up  i miss the sun ,2.0
3843,kalebnation hey what won stuff today i missed it ,2.0
3844,i really want to buy some dvds but it might a good idea to fix the heat issue with the pc instead ,2.0
3845,finalovesyou lol no  therr werent any and if there were they had dates lol,2.0
3846,kevinjonasoff thanks a lot ,0.0
3847,i feel everything all of the time i genuinely mean everything all the time i feel my best friends pain when hes suicidal i feel the homeless mans pain on the street corner i feel the pain of people not being loved my default is o v e r w h e l m e d and when i cant do anything to save them or love them enough to fix it i lose all reasons to live all of them,3.0
3848,seoaly relogo i dont like any  but i hope you find one you like  good luck,0.0
3849,chicbuds oh yeah i also love fringe  man thats geeky ,0.0
3850,im cold  bout to wake lil boy up and feed him,2.0
3851,doesnt want to take this course but has to unfortunately ,2.0
3852, nah just monday  tuesday and wednesday  but still enuff lol,2.0
3853, no now im riding the rocketship lol jk i dont have any quarters ,2.0
3854,is devastated that itv has axed primeval ,2.0
3855,dad just came home from turkey ,0.0
3856,bought a cute bathing suit ,0.0
3857,fighting a migraine  was supposed to visit w a friend today but i dont think thats going to happen  ,2.0
3858,the anxiety 😭😭,2.0
3859,tradinggoddess omg im sorry  ugh im so mad right now jonasbrothers youtube account got suspended gt arrgh,2.0
3860,euskir you are welcome ,0.0
3861,rachelsimmo pink toenails all round ,0.0
3862,so much energy so many things i need to do but screw it all going to the park with my mini ha  sounds like a damn fine saturday to me,0.0
3863,roxyde thanks ,0.0
3864,i am blacklisted at boycottnovell as soon as i change my nick to  i get disconnected nice not ,2.0
3865,people suck ,2.0
3866,driving back from the family reunion ,2.0
3867,i really feel like eating some doritos but we dont have any ,2.0
3868,choley  i was hoping sun was on its way here at any moment,2.0
3869,ashleyltmsyf   too bad lady gaga cant come with you guys here in jakarta ,2.0
3870,pandora wont work on my phonesad day ,2.0
3871,homeeeeeeee i need to pack but i cbf i dont wanna go now  melissaim gunna text ya all the time  hour train journey tomorrow xx,2.0
3872,man i am tired right nowim home trying to fix my phone this shi sucks ,2.0
3873,rt  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀retweet this in  seconds to have⠀⠀    stress free yrs of college 🎓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀,1.0
3874,i want to die whats the quickest way to kill myself thanks,3.0
3875,federers taking it too casuallylooks like hes on his way out toocant see him coming back from the  set deficit ,2.0
3876, f having trouble with depression and anxiety parents wont helped ive struggled with depression and anxiety deeply in the past year and it got really bad last summer when i decided to do the unthinkable which landed me in therapy i went to therapy for about a month and i decided to stop going because i was cured my parents seemed thrilled that everything was going back to normal and i wouldnt be their weird daughter with all the issues little did they know that it only worsened after i stopped therapy i began suffering from anxiety attacks and my self esteem plummeted i recently talked to my father about going back to therapy and even getting on depression meds and he was furious his perfect daughter was acting out once again as a publicity stunt he hasnt talked to me on whats coming up as a week and isnt supportive at all i understand that he could be upset that i wont talk to him but he is refusing to let me go to therapy and is strongly advising my mom to not take me either what should i do to improve my situation,3.0
3877,aquigley       now shell never hire me for a job,0.0
3878,aidosaur i want some bulgogi ,2.0
3879,asmamamsa umair beat me by  no way and wow aamna ,2.0
3880,a stress  free leasing process ,2.0
3881,johnboyy ok later  first i have to get the courage up to put it on and go to the beach lil sis is showing me her new clothes now ,0.0
3882,this boy is so precious 💖 ,0.0
3883,jgap absolutely good to know that somebody is out there paying attention ,0.0
3884,jmayerandah i love dakota tooi admire her even tho if shes  and im  ,0.0
3885,army provides many skills im public affairs manager janitor powerpoint gruru and today a security guardmy resume is army strong ,0.0
3886, senatorshoshana benshapiro so instead of accepting that the founders did not write the constitution t ,1.0
3887,i just logged onto twt and now im sad why do such horrible things happen to good people fuckcan i ple ,1.0
3888,trainingdogs that is so true usually the owners need the training not the dog  its sad but true,2.0
3889,lelah great question thats what weve been trying to figure out its a huge gamble either way at this point ,2.0
3890,yes  extended vacation    jun  yay lol ,0.0
3891,late night rambling throwaway alright so im really sure how to start this but here we go so ive been growing more and more paranoid in my everyday life and im not sure how to deal with it as stupid or crazy as it is my main fear is that im autistic or something and everyone around me wont tell me and ive been to doctors but never managed to be able to ask for fear of sounding crazy i cant trust anyone i to everything in my life has been seeming to connect like my relatives have called me a special guy and it seems that theyre the only ones that see it cause i feel like im an asshole to people i know some of the stuff that i do is wrong but i never realize until after the fact when i start getting anxiety attacks when thinking about my whole day i also feel really dissociated from my life like im not fully here or watching or something last year i had experimented with quite a few drugs and im worried i really messed something up and im not sure how to approach it there were two times i know i did take synthetic lsdim not sure i can talk about this stuff here but i did mushrooms as well and it was fine until the like  minutes where it was absolutely soul wrenchingly horrible and i started sobbing and just repeating over and over in my head thati have no life plan im going no where and i couldnt even speak out loud this probably all sounds crazy but idk who else to tell i cant voice it to anyone ik because i fear that it will make its way around like everything does i just really dread going in public and interacting with people i cant even make eye contact anymore this formatting is probably so horrible im on mobile im not really asking for anything just to get this off my chest i guess so if you made it this far im surprised thanks,3.0
3892, orchardbeach with  and the other guys we got slaughtered  but wes having fuunnn  cant stop smiling lmfao,0.0
3893,redpandajewelry these have yellow and green in them    ,0.0
3894,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
3895,acephotographer youre leaving us ,2.0
3896,i think i keep finding new people to involve myself with so i can continue avoiding the inevitable last summer things were better i still wanted to die but i genuinely didnt have much to die for if that makes sensei found this guy and told myself that im going to make this work with him i gave him all the importance in the world and told myself i needed to continue being alive for himbefore that it was my family but the more i grew to resent myself the more i realised i no longer wanted to stick around for themnow a year later ive had an abortion with that guy hes tried to commit suicide because i wanted to leave him even though he knows ive lost an ex to suicide literally  years ago i left him nevertheless but hes still always around apart from that i recently met someone who made me want to be better i tried to quit my inhibitions and treat myself kindly but i realised i was again being very repetitive i was only trying to be better for this new boy i think i really fell for him somewhere down the line because i realised ive only been trying to get better for him and not for myself he doesnt feel the same way about me that made me realise a few more things im on a thin line ive been wanting to die since i was  im  now ive just been pushing the thought away telling myself it would hurt so and so i cant do that to them etc the older i get the more i dont care about how others will be affected by my passing i have all these people around me and i continue to surround myself with people but they will never be enough for me to stop feeling this way  im tired of existing as i am but im not capable of much change the new guy i was talking about said that im only functioning on  of my potential since im always stoned  i tried to change that narrative i tried being sober it just reminded me of all the reasons i ever began getting high in the first place  i picked out a date today and marked it on my phones calender as a reminder if things arent better please dont try anymore  of november childrens day i guess because i miss being a child and not being able to comprehend all the saddnesss inside me i miss being clueless  i have no idea what the fuck im doing im just pretending to be happy watching movies falling in love the idea of it i feel like im on auto drive i dont want to do this anymore but i keep finding pathetic reasons to not go through with it right now but i know eventually im going to give in and that thought doesnt terrify me it gives me some kind of solace sorry for the throwaway account too many people follow me and i just needed to get this off my chest,3.0
3897,philiptmw me too ,0.0
3898,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
3899,is going to sleep  miltown tomorow ,0.0
3900,rt lifeaseva if i had a dollar for every time i open up to someone about my anxiety and they go oh yeah i totally get nervous s ,1.0
3901,im with my new hair cut and is sooo cute like demi in sonny with a chance ,0.0
3902, yes daft  taxi better  igot a lift in a very posh car cant remember what sort but was very smart and no not that  ,0.0
3903,workout classic movies i would have never known the great depression was full of art deco homes and horseback riding  tcmparty,0.0
3904,jonasbrothers jonas omgosh it was amazing i cant wait till dc shows is on tv here  yeah i watch it online but i couldnt help it,0.0
3905, month to turkeyy cant wait ,0.0
3906,tommcfly aww we thru maltesers on stage at westonbirt but  thru them  the corner of the stage ,2.0
3907,zuckerbaby thats terrific glad it was a good experience hope things continue in the same vein ,0.0
3908,aww i love babies ,0.0
3909,i havent accomplished a thing in  neither in also not in  whatever nopenothingsurely i stayed alive yes i made a few friends and lost most of them had relationships and a good day here and there but in the end its  and instead of working on my art and bounding with people over shared experiences i havent taken a shower in  days id wear my absence of happiness with pride if itd just let me focus on the few books i try to read and would let me at least focus enough to document my condition if i could just accomplish something hell if i could stick to my daily schedule for more than  days every month,3.0
3910,home from the gym showered and fresh going to catch up with lost and theoffice what a fun filled friday night home alone sigh ,2.0
3911,it never seems to get better been unemployed since midjuly of last year im continually searching for work but have been unable to land a new job i live alone in a rental apartment i cannot afford my parents have helped support my rent but unemployment is about to expire and with sizeable debts and not prospects i fin life more and more pointless im getting nowhere my daily routine feels like a prison nothing seems to pan out and nothing i try is working i dont know what to do and am losing hope nothing seems interestingworthwhile what i usually take joy in no longer seems worth it im isolated from human interaction aside from the relentless spam calls i get each day i feel like im heading towards a dead end with no options nothing seems to matter    i wish i knew what to do to make things better    im sorry to post this nonsense i hope you all are having things better than me i never wish this hopelessness on anyone else,3.0
3912,bah im dying to play infamous ,2.0
3913,poorbritney it doesnt work ,2.0
3914,iknowmymonsters ive been listening to them im sad asf,2.0
3915,techcrunch that post keeps glitching now its down again ,2.0
3916, shoulder pains  bruised mine in football blah hurts with all kind of exercises ome rehab says use  lb to rehab it overtime,2.0
3917,cbwhittemore  ty white sands are soft for travelers i rec following visitpensacola  glad to see ur profile twitter back up,0.0
3918,why do the other subreddits viciously attack people with depression on every other subreddit if you seem in any way negative or unhappy it honestly seems like the people there will practically try to make you hate yourself they attack immediately and viciously seemingly trying to hurt you unless you indicate youre suicidal in which case they shout at you to go to therapy until you run off i hate this website,3.0
3919,chasnb  yep but then i famously hate big brother so i guess it was about me sob,0.0
3920,jack american isolationism has occurrd before during earlier  centurydepression era  its a symboloc act of inward looking retreat,2.0
3921,im finally logging out to start on that darn term paper  ciao my luvs,2.0
3922,mobile phones arent always work emails and the pressure of posting the perfect instagram picture you can actually ,0.0
3923,deniserichards sry to hear about ur mom i lost my dad for prostate cancer a year ago alsoi still wait for that callemail from dad ,2.0
3924,back in li again  now off to work ,2.0
3925,dizzycrane well when you get some please pass them over here ,0.0
3926,ok greycold day in la listening to pj harvey jenny lewis cat poweri see a pattern here ,2.0
3927,angenettewfrv  they were in shock had been victims of the oshkosh floods last year the guy  collapsed when he heard about his cat  ,2.0
3928,ow my head hurts ,2.0
3929,if it were up to me i would make today international joy division day but is not so i guess its just friday ,2.0
3930,  paula abdul on friday night ,0.0
3931,my girlfriend just told me shes into another dude like shit i really love this girl shes been the closest person ive had in a while we are honest to each other even if its harsh but shit this was such a big punch saying i notice his existence everywhere and the lack of his existence too damn im legit destroyed,3.0
3932, you move here ,0.0
3933,venting about my invasive suicidal thoughts hello this is the note that i had to get drunk off vodka to write i apologize in advance im in pain but  i dont know how to explain it to anyone not even to my wife every day just hurts but not just like a physical pain its like something that i just shouldnt be able to feel some kind of hidden emotion im so very sad all the time even when im happy and laughing with my friends on the inside im really not happy even if im enjoying the moment its not really joy its almost like false happiness but my brain is passing it off as a real emotion that im feeling i dont know how to explain it im not even sure why im writing this like anyone is gonna give a shitimagine all the songs youve ever heard about heartbreak and then put them together into a physical feeling in your chest it used to feel like there was actually an empty space in my heart but i cant feel that anymore so i must be getting better right im just so sick of being used to get ahead and before this continues on im happily married and i love my wife very much im just battling my own issues from the past still it just feels like im never good enough for jack shit and then i think that into existence ive gained a lot of weight im struggling with everything and nothing is fun for me anymore i cant even play video games or sing without feeling pain and its fuckin killing me man i think about killing myself at least  times a day but the thing about that is that i dont want to anymore ive tried to end my life a couple times in the past but ive come to the conclusion that its not my time yet after pulling the trigger on a loaded shotgun i was holding underneath my chin and having it fucking jam on me i think thats some kind of sign that i should hang in there but its so hard and im sorry for the pity party i may seem to be throwing myself but im really not trying to i just dont understand my suffering and i cant help but to blame it on myself ive struggled with this since i was a child and its funny kind of i can remember the last time i truly felt normal i was maybe  or  years old i remember standing in the downstairs rec room of my house and looking out at the cow field we lived across from through the screen door and seeing the sun shine through and warm me my parents and grandma were upstairs making food my sisters were hanging out around the house and everything was just so pure it makes me smile a little just thinking about it i just want to feel normal again im so exhausted from being depressed but i cant get help im too afraid some personal information about me im in the united states marine corps im afraid that if i get diagnosed with severe depression and possibly suicidal i may be discharged early and i wont be able to support my wife and our family so im just kinda hanging on by a thread you know i want to live i refuse to give up on myself again but jesus christ i am struggling also i dont know if this is some kind of condition but sometimes i just stop feeling like a person almost like im in a dream like state but im awake kind of disassociated from reality or struggling to control my body for example one of the worst scenarios of this that ive been in was when i went to this state of mind and i couldnt really move on my own i was standing and i was thinking i want to look in the mirror i want to walk over to the mirror i wanna touch my face i need to move and it was like my body didnt want to listen to me and it felt like i wasnt real if that makes sense after a few minutes i was finally able to touch my face and look at myself in the mirror but it was almost like i had to fight for control over my own body  my wife knows about my issues too and shes been supportive she really cares and it makes me happy but i cant help but feel useless for being like this all the time i just want my mental state to improve i just want to be happy again when i smile i want it to be a real smile and not just a yeah im all good man haha smile anyways ive dragged this on long enough if you read through this all the way then i appreciate it i just needed to get some shit off my chest bless you all and i hope you overcome anything youre going through,3.0
3934,soo ima carry my senior book with me if i see yuu sign it haha cuz i forgot about it ,0.0
3935,new to twitter world thinking ob how to best use it ,0.0
3936,does anyone else feel like theyre doomed for a shitty life divorced parents abusive father no relationship with father extremely shy because of shitty childhood abusive relationships no close friends shitty town shitty job shitty lifesometimes i can will myself to fake some optimism but i always know its just to make myself feel betterdoes anyone else feel like there is no way out not everybody can achieve happiness and live an amazing life some people just have shitty lives because thats how the world isi feel like im one of those people who will never make it and thats just how it is my fate is to live a shitty life and i dont see the point in trying anymore,3.0
3937,robertgould  jameson yummy ,0.0
3938,slumdogg millionare wasnt bad at all just finished watching it ,0.0
3939,ichigojuice hahaha  ate juice what special project is heenim and teukie planning,0.0
3940, sorry bb  hugs you,2.0
3941,nastyataranenko have you been to london before wish the band was going to be at the summits ,2.0
3942,has finished work and is sitting on the train with his sister she leaves on monday ,2.0
3943,say a prayer  lifes iranian photojournalist is missing    iran iranelection tehran via life,2.0
3944, do you make them completely from scratch or do you just make the filling amp buy the wrappers i lost my recipe ,2.0
3945,going boxing ,0.0
3946,johnhonore is this the tweet quotjoeruiz never mindits sold out    i coulda got laid tonightquot via johnhonore,2.0
3947,oooh just remembered that i have tech studies first up there goes my day down the drain fuck ,2.0
3948, i really wish jtimberlake and britneyspears never would of broke up ,2.0
3949,just woke up amp cant go back to sleep had a txt from the bff sayin if youre up call me sounds important but that was  hours ago ,2.0
3950,im busy in kokomo being stood up for an appt ,2.0
3951,i am so sad im just in such a rough patch right now had a rough couple weeks this is the closest i have ever been to actually going through with suicide ive tries almost every pill and nothing has worked i feel hopeless the only thing holding me back from suicide is my family and because im terrified of the pain if i knew life would just end i would do itin a heartbeat ,3.0
3952,i finally checked myself into an inpatient facility intakei didnt expect the ward to be so crowded ive been sitting in a plastic chair pulled up to the room length desk for an hour group therapy is in session in the day room beside me i cant hear what hes saying but i watch him he waves his arms and bounces on black vinyl high top chucks i can see where hes doodled on the sides i can see the whiteboard and the words codependency bpd shame goddammit this is the therapy for me but i cant hear it i can only sit and watch while the  intake staff goes through my suitcase and stuffs my shit into a paper sack the therapist writes the phrase realm of the hungry ghosts on the board i want so badly to know what the hell that means i try to creep out of my chair towards the day room unfortunately two men approach and request to see my weiner they take me into the bathroom and politely have me strip one item of clothing at a time so they can check it the main event is saved for last of course they tell me i can just pull my boxer briefs down a bit and turn around once my socks are slippery on the cold floor and i turn a little slip into a dick out pirouette while my drawers drop to my ankles i bend over to grab them and realize i just presented my butthole i immediately stand up turn around and start brainstorming a joke to break the tension but i decide to be an adult theyre professionals im making a big deal out of nothing thats why im here to change my behavior and stop my shame spirals i congratulate my maturity i dont know how long im in my head and one of the guys says okso were done with that part ah my bad i tuck my penis away and i stay very quietat some point the sun sets and im led to my room my roommate is bryce hes in his late  clean cut and irritatingly handsome its his last night before he gets to go home he fist bumps me oh god im in the nut hatch and im rooming with a bro perfect the bed is what i expected all plastic and thin theres a little shelf beside my head and a wall of wooden cubby holes beside the curtained bathroom theres a bright light low on the wall beside the door it cant be turned off i pretend its a reading light i try to convince myself that im comfortable and read while bryce showersim losing my mind im losing my mindbryce is quietly mumbling these words and wandering back and forth between the cubbies and his bed he has shirts and pants laid out on the bed he puts them on and puts on his shoes he washes his hands he takes them off and puts on another shirt and another pair of pants and a new pair of shoes he walks out into the hall and back inside briskly he washes his hands i hear him whisper okay aaaaand i am done he takes off his shoes and lines them up at the end of his bed he washes his hands hes not a bro i am an assholesomething about the moonlight on his bed and the folded clothes for tomorrow hits me in the throat it reminds me of my dad it reminds me of the chaotic life ive been living nothing to do nowhere to go very few responsibilities ive been freefalling for years its not a secret bryce is trapped in patterns and rituals order and disorder felix and oscar i turn to the wall and stare at the suicide light while hot tears run down my face the door cant be shut completely but weve got it at just a crack to block the dim hall lights it creaks open and a guy with a clipboard peeks in at me and checks the still alive box on his form i assume bryce mumbles that hes a jerk for coming in so late i dont tell him that whatever i told them apparently triggered these little visits every  minutes all night bryce groans with his hands on his face  minutes later when the door creaks open again and he figures it outsorry bro,3.0
3953,brentspiner id be honored to have you at my bat mitzvahunfortunately im  so ive missed my chance to achieve true womanhood ,2.0
3954,he learned how to swim today  ,0.0
3955,jonathanrknight sweat dreams and have a good rest sweetie  love amp hugs from canada,0.0
3956,just got a phone call from my ex boyfriendso weirdi cant even think right now   ugh  night all  much love,2.0
3957,im home alone  sunset graduation was fun then we hitted up bistro b and i for my got my thai tapioca tea ,2.0
3958, hours until scott is home ,0.0
3959,my iphone is at home   i am still at work ,2.0
3960, lt văn mình hồi xưa ko bao gi� được nổi  nên mình không thể hiểu quotgiải nóng lâm th�iquot là giải nóng cái kiểu khỉ gì ,2.0
3961,ddlovato i wish i was ,2.0
3962,huge wave of depression might quit job ive been feeling a huge weight of loneliness and just lack of self esteem these past  weeks my job is very difficult i am a sales rep at a very small start up type company love what we do and absolutely love my boss and ownership but im starting to get frosted with sales and have been on and off considering leaving lately ive been feeling this even more its been difficult for me to get out of bed and get to work i think its time but im not sure if i feel this way due to the high functioning depression and anxiety ive been going through which ive dealt with pretty much my whole life or if its my job thats partly putting me in this position im confused and scared and sad ive been to therapy and talked to my friends and family extensively about this and just feel so lost still i dont have anything else lined up and everyone seems to be supporting me and im just so sick of feeling this way any advice ,3.0
3963,aimzxx just cos its so early  yeah havnt done that eitherfail lol been driving today,2.0
3964,the food craving hole is long gone right now id love to get in bed and sleep a lot unfortunately i cant ,2.0
3965,cleaning my hardrive only less than  left ,2.0
3966,jamesxander hm i play a lot of sports  soccer basket flagfootball i dance  and so on  what about u  ,0.0
3967,i took a couple of grams of antidepressants at once wanting to kill myself my room mate found me in my bed having convulsions he luckily found me because it was my first day at work and he wanted to get me up and help me go to work since ive always had problems going to any kind of work or school   i got out of hospital after  days   got any questions to someone who experienced near death im open about it since i might be able to help someone with similar issues,3.0
3968,escakid haha thanks  let me know if it works out okay,0.0
3969,ok lakers v orlando that should be good ,0.0
3970,blubbered like a baby at ga season finale ,2.0
3971,isnt impressed that the weather is going to be pants this weekend ,2.0
3972,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
3973,nickylovesmcfly so do i  but i cant get back ,2.0
3974,myleswillsaveus cant do it on my phone retard and my laptop charger is broken ,2.0
3975,thomassanders so wait anxiety and morality are married  or going to be  oo,2.0
3976,is watching twilight yet again ,0.0
3977,rt monicabrighton this is the  time in  years that all  branches are republican  caused the great depression  caused the g,1.0
3978,iphoneincanada oops ok your tweet was confusing though ,0.0
3979,rt hookav stop claiming you have a mental disorder or anxiety if youve never been diagnosed with it holy shit,1.0
3980,last exam today ,0.0
3981,ace party ross still going i hope ,0.0
3982, i think im gettin a cold ,2.0
3983,dawnsandomeno congrats on your twitter mom of the week  ,0.0
3984,is tweeting nowi guess ,0.0
3985,just some thoughts had a nice  second cry in therapy today bc it is so incredibly horrible and heartbreaking the way that depression has taken away everything bright and shiny about me and stolen all my self love and self confidence i just keep thinking about how the  year old me would be so utterly sad to know this was the person shed become bc my happiness and joy were my favorite things about myself i dont think people really understand how gut wrenchingly awful it is to have your sense of purpose and mission statement taken away from you without even knowing its happening its so fucking defeating to want with your whole heart to have passion and determination and just interest in anything at all any goals at all but to be so absolutely empty and void of the ability to find those things,3.0
3986,got toothache  dentist booked for monday morning ah well bad tooth  hard to eat  weight loss  lol,2.0
3987,am i wrong to be incredible offended and upset first of all i hope that this is ok to post heretw suicideso a bit of background in  i attempted suicide i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and major depression for reference it was at my university when i was admitted into the hospital i was abused by a nurse technician to be honest i have a hard time recalling this time in my life because the pills i took when trying to od and because the medications i was given at that hospital triggered a complete meltdown the hospital where i was abused put me on about  different psychiatric medications which triggered this meltdown i had to go into a different hospital to get my medications sorted out about  weeks after leaving the hospital that abused me while all this was going on i took an incomplete in some classes but i actually finished all my classes that semester and i ended up graduating with a  about a year later i decided that i should just go ahead and apply for graduate program since thats what i really want to do with my life the time comes to get references and i ask a professor that i knew a little bit during university i had only one passfail class with them but i worked on quite a few projectsextra curriculars with them i did have to resign from an extra curricular that i was working on with this person but i got quite a bit done in starting up this club on campus this project was a volunteer project that had absolutely nothing to do with academics btw now here comes the delimaquestion i just got an email from this person after i asked if they could be a reference this was their response i may be able to write you a letter for graduate school depending on the deadline and the information you can provide for the letter i am swamped with letters right now and able to do only about one per week attached is the information i need in order to have the proper information and evidence to provide you with a strong recommendation whether it is a letter or a form my recollection of you from our class together was that you were strong academically yet had some personal situations that kept you from achieving your potential how are you doing with those now much better i hope i think of you so fondly and want your life to be good also most social work and counseling programs will want to see that you have overcome things you have been dealing with so in order to recommend you i would have to address thosewhen i read that second paragraph i immediately sobbed these are some things i would like everyone to keep in mind my suicide attempt did not happen during the time i took their class it happened when i took their spouses class meaning they heard about this personal situation from someone else  that personal situation was a suicide attempt and then being abused at a hospital after a suicide attempt  i feel like being told that this personal situation that kept you from achieving your potential was incredibly offensive not only did i pass all my classes but i was able to go back to school for about  semesters after that without missing any assignments and i graduated with a  as stated above also i asked for this reference about  months ago just got this response yesterday due to email problems heres my question am i wrong in feeling like this was inappropriate am i overreacting or overanalyzing it triggered quite a few feelings for me and ive been on and off sobbing thanks so much in advance for your replies and opinions ,3.0
3988,i die  i take six pills to relieve ���horror that ,2.0
3989,please follow me  ,0.0
3990,i have a bad feeling something is wrong ,2.0
3991,ihatemybike  aww ,2.0
3992,getting ready for my  wedding anniversary tomorrow  ,0.0
3993,sighits official i must now wear closed toe shoes on calls no more flip flops   said with humorour sops just got updated,2.0
3994,omg im really tiredand i have an english presentation tomorrow wish me luck guys gnight ,0.0
3995,good morning ,0.0
3996,fun night last night with the hubby ,0.0
3997,ewwwww sunset and pecos smells like maneur ,2.0
3998,good morning no results today  however i did get another appt with the surgeon on  june maybe hell have answers,2.0
3999,importimage you need just the coding of it i cant do images im happy to code it for a price if you want ,0.0
4000,stday  not even for a liitle ohm thats not good thats not good at all,2.0
4001,i think i miss you ,2.0
4002,snazzydee it is very sad to be playing your  without you ,2.0
4003,quit my job just quit my first job since graduating was making above average salary for my industry and good benefits but the work was meaningless there was a constant lack of respect for staff level people and the hours were long on top of an hour commute i dont want to waste my  percent of the hours im awake doing something i dont enjoy when my mental health is already so fragile i have a safety net of being home so this isnt putting me on the street or anything i just want some more control in my life fuck the money,3.0
4004,made an appointment for the cat to see the vet in the morning he seems kind of thin and needs a checkup anyway ,2.0
4005,songzyuuup i think you should use justintv cuz so far i missed two of your livestreams  damnit  ,2.0
4006,last night was uber fun the end of the night was cute  myleee  is always fun well time for school gross its gonna be hot,0.0
4007,ohcurt i is not as shmart as woo ,2.0
4008,lovelotsjanna oo nga just like gretas mom in the start  i hope lola gets doesnt die,2.0
4009,hating myself more and more there no point of anyone reading this theres nothing of value that i have nothing that i bring to the table having assignments for school but procrastinate till its due at the very last minute and struggle to figure it out being surrounded by classmates who are leagues above me in our major really makes me look like a retard compared to them like the lazy useless pack of shit that i am they understand the material can struggle for a bit but solve it like nothing while i struggle the entire time and need help and walkthrough with it all i dont belong here with them i belong back in the beginner classes sure they have the motivation and drive to study and understand instantly while if i try that i just get more confusedim just nothing just good at being bad at everything i try to dowhy cant i be smart or motivatedwhy cant i have something that i can be good at except being retarded or something to be proud ofwhy cant i do anythingi hate it i hate myself and everything about me i hate that i feel nothing everyday but one day it all just pours and i feel like fucking shit i hate wanting to post how i feel and being a pussy i hate everything i just wish i could stop,3.0
4010,rt regkmans ever get so sad you can feel the pain in your chest,2.0
4011, is some bs to get up and train not happy ,2.0
4012,thisisbree no money ,2.0
4013,ddlovato ohhh lucky you im now at home behind my little study desk exhausting myself of studying for the upwoming exams ,0.0
4014,cooking tea  sausages i love them  not v healthy but who cares   cooking tea  sausages i love htt httpbitlyjapvi,0.0
4015,just left church  reports were a killer tonight we had no ink ,2.0
4016,rt resteasyvonte i promise you i wont go out sad,1.0
4017,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4018,diggin herbut cannot have her at all i feel like god is teasin me ,2.0
4019,ive been on a video making binge lately youtube will be the death of me ,0.0
4020,evliving wcs is one of my passions  been doing it for about  years how long have you been dancing,0.0
4021,ive brushed my hair for the first time in a few weeks im honestly so happy first off my two friends cut me off and it destroyed me for while but i realized it was good for me i got up today and ate a lot i was listening to some fall out boy songs and they really just made me rethink how i was viewing this lose of friends i then got up out of my bed and made coffee and brushed me hair this is the first time in a while im crying because im happy im not cleaning my room because there is food everywhere but im so happy brushing my hair is a milestone that really made me feel better about myself i had washed it a few weeks ago and but it into a bun and just kinda left it for a while my parents think its stupid that im so excited but i dont care im proud of myself and thats all that matters,3.0
4022,i just cant with this feeling im depressed and i dont want to worry my friends so here i am now the cause its stupid and prolly not as bad as most peoples so im sorry i just want a gf i cant get it out of my head i physically desire to hug a female who will hug me back and when i kiss her she kisses me back idk what to do ive been told many times by so many people im good looking and i feel handsome and believe it but that makes it even worse sometimes idk how i can even begin to try to alleviate this ik i should focus on myself but just i want that physical connection really bad doesnt help i was with a girl who had a bf for like two months we only kissed and flirted a lot she confessed she liked me first and told me she thinks she loves me but then took it back because she was confused i later found out she did it to cheer me up i try not to think about it but it happens and im always tired now and wallowing in self pity anyone got any tips to help anything will do side note been debating asking friends to see if anyone they know is interested should i do that,3.0
4023,counsellors at school i feel like i cannot talk to counsellors at school because they dont really care i mean it is their job they do it for the money i feel so alone in this world,3.0
4024,fuck im so lost every time i think im taking the right step forward i fall i dont know what to do but i cant keep going like this i just fucking cant im a disappointment to my parents ive been expelled from  schools and i probably wont even graduate because of my  gpa i feel like people are only nice to me or my friend because they feel bad for me i dont want to be a burden to everyone anymore i wish i could just be better im not suicidal i dont want to die i just wish my parents had a different kid the one they wanted,3.0
4025,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
4026,my mom said if i drink a cup of ginseng tea she will give me  dolars ahaha  but i wont,0.0
4027,goodnight everybody ,0.0
4028,shuaijerks when jing left he did this again it supposed to be sad but i was laughing because his face looked so red 😂,2.0
4029,dubstep should cheer me up ,0.0
4030,was overwhelmed and ecstatic with all the lovely faery love amp wishes that my fabulous faery friends sent me last weektruly uplifting ,0.0
4031,kathekline i heard that on the radio earlier  that he david carradine was found hanging what a shame ,2.0
4032,going to pick up my cap and gown todayis college really ending ,2.0
4033,hillarylovesatl hey ,0.0
4034,andykindler you can feel the economic anxiety cant you  alas,2.0
4035,get to see david in about  hours ,0.0
4036, spqrzilla kaitmarieox lol dopey lady red doesnt understand how scotus rulings work sad her  gr ,0.0
4037,watching tv waiting for lauren to get so we can watch twilight ,0.0
4038,ff snobb ltlt hilarious pretty twittara right there lol even though she not followin the dread its ok    lol,2.0
4039,being an adult virgin i turned  today and am a virgin i feel like the lowest form of life right nowtjeres men out there that have faped women molested children and murdered that can find people tp have sex with how did i manage to be worse than them my looks are worse than murder me losijg my hair young is a bigger deal tjan child molestationwhat a life,3.0
4040,xmen origins wolverine var awesome ,0.0
4041,where can i watch mtv movie awards live on the interneeet  cant find it ,2.0
4042,not the greatest start to the day ever and its only  ,2.0
4043,everyone says things will get better i dont know if i want it to get better though being alive is alright but if i was dead i wouldnt really care i feel like im living for other people instead of for myself,3.0
4044,the dog has fleas  even though hes on vectra   any suggestions  this sucks  ,2.0
4045,rt deanandhlssam jfc with this whole i am his biological father thingit wasnt funny the first time mishas thirst is getting as alw,1.0
4046,its monday morning and im thinking about a hazelnut latte  the house is quiet only the sound of my sleeping family and dog snoring ,0.0
4047,thinking im okay but im not im always saying to people who ask me how  are you that im fine im actually doing fine but i know deep down im not but it has always been difficult for me to express it to people especially those who i love and trust about how im struggling mentally with myself because i dont want them to feel burden about itsometimes i wonder why i cant just tell people about it its not like i dont want to i just cant like a barrier is stopping me from pouring out my feelings that ive been locking up for years and its just eating me inside im scared that the advice they give is just not going to help me at all i just want reassurance that its okay for me to feel this way and that theyll be there if i need to vent out i think i just needed that reassurance constantly to be reminded to me thats its okay to express myself to themi do enjoy socialising i love to meet new people and make jokes and plan my day most days i prefer staying at home in my room unless my friends invite me to go out with them i have family and friends who love me and i appreciate every single one of them but i cant get it out of my head that im just missing something inside and i cant help but feel bad for everyone around me since im feeling this wayhere i am in my room writing this down trying not to cry for no apparent reason this has been repetitive ever since i was in school and now that im in university i still wonder what is wrong with me sometimes i think its just my mind faking it and ive always thought of seeing a therapist but im just wasnt sure whether it is necessary for me,3.0
4048, i work at  the morning after crank mob ill have to cut this one short too total bummer,2.0
4049,ugh time to figure out how much im going over budget each week ,2.0
4050,kaycfaceee thats right boo but ive heard its either terrifying or dumb im going to go with dumb nothings ever terrifying anymore ,2.0
4051,rasyamoechtar yasih priority first doain ya ,2.0
4052,i think i mite hate twitter  sigh,2.0
4053,idk im really struggling and i dont know how to talk to anyone,3.0
4054,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
4055,hypergeekster pursuinjustice notcapnamerica allisonbakerfit realdonaldtrump i couldnt agree more a sad reali ,1.0
4056,someone might as well slap me with a hand full of procrastination and anxiety because fuck these exams 👋,1.0
4057,rt dpginvestments hated being me most my life learning disabilities  horror home life no friends  substance abuse issues m ,1.0
4058,i havent hung out with people for what feels like so long ,2.0
4059,day  done i cannot believe there has to be a day fing  ,2.0
4060,rocknrollqueene lorettaaston welcome to twitter let me know if you have any questions would love to help ,0.0
4061,natskib i just got back from the weekend there and all i caught was wine flu  hah a,0.0
4062,i hate how twitter wont let me post my facebook group link ,2.0
4063,my brother bought my mum a pet mouse for mothers day and she hates her ,2.0
4064,jcbaggee how many of them also died of drug overdose of suicide after having a run in wwf wcw or ecwim prett ,2.0
4065,tryin to studynt so easy ,2.0
4066,what is this i didnt know where to put this i hate myself with so much passion that i no longer wish to die but to just disappear into a void so that maybe in this endless pit of nothingness i can unlock the book of answers that lists the reasons why we all suffer in so many different ways and why it is that even though we all suffer most of us cant relate to each others pain and end up just making it worse why the fuck is everything like this who made life so stupid who did this,3.0
4067,some people make me so angry ,2.0
4068,just finished reading  little blue envelopes and i think it was pretty amazing ,0.0
4069,angelayee and its even worse for femalesim  feet with no shoes ,2.0
4070, im not sure if ill be able to come to your quince ,2.0
4071,kflanagan good point however he is insignificant to  of americans right nowthats high enough percentage for me  ,0.0
4072,we all need to find ways to laugh more as its so good for our wellbeing  ,1.0
4073,in rio without my bb ,2.0
4074,lunaisla oh were still having the canned dog conversation an easy open lid amp w spicy olive oil how about that i love malick ,2.0
4075,superapplegeek lol i cant ,2.0
4076,snakelinksonic nice site by the way  forwardscompatiblecom,0.0
4077,shoppin for college ,0.0
4078,kingjohnnysuh perhaps i wanna kill myself for saying that but this is so sad play apado gwenchana,2.0
4079, i know i have sent tweets to them asking for clarification but no reply ,2.0
4080,ive officially reached my breaking point over the last  weeks my wife left me unexpectedly i have to sell my home because i cant afford to keep it my job is in jeopardy i run a bar sales are way down last night my grandma passed away suddenly a woman who practically raised me today my dog diedi cant take anymore i dont want to see what tomorrow is going to bringim going to have a beer a shot and a cigarette and then its time to make a decision because i dont believe its going to get better i just needed to put where im at somewhere so people will know,3.0
4081,pleasebemine i think so the cameras were filming them so im guessing its a yes ,0.0
4082,getting my ass beat by mike at tetris ,2.0
4083,sewcute yeah thats an excessive amount of exclamation points for working ,0.0
4084,hope youre fine havent heard from you so long  seriously  you should twitter more often ,2.0
4085,numb i just feel life is not for me i dont have much suicide thoughts but i feel like im worthless im not doing anything here i have friends and all of that but i feel very empty every fucking time  i just want some place to write what i think where nobody knows who am i its fucked up i have indications of depression or maybe i am but idc i just want to be where i were  years back depression is an obsession that already conqueror my brain made by me,3.0
4086,danoliver oh youve done that one ,0.0
4087,im veeeeeeeeeery sick ,2.0
4088,at mandrinnn with famillyy ,0.0
4089,i feel empty throwaway accounti have felt this way since my sophomore year of high school im  now it all started when i got a girlfriend whose family was really religious and she didnt share the same beliefs as her parents after a month of us dating we started doing more than kissing but we never had sex one day her parents took her phone and saw everything we talked about her parents immediately called the cops and claimed rape because their daughter wouldnt disobey their religion like this the cops saw consenting messages between me and said ex i didnt get charged but i got put on a year on a weird kind of probation a few weeks later the populardrama girl in the school heard about it from that point until my graduation day i got called a rapist and a pedophile even though we were the same age a week after graduation i moved out of the state into a city i found a job and new friends i was just starting to enjoy everything when i find out my parents are getting a divorce my mom starts going anorexic and my dad gets suicidal i quit my job and havent talked to my friend since so i can stay with my dad and make sure he doesnt feel alone after me staying with him for a week he gets drunk and decided he wanted to fight we got into it while i was trying to calm him down he then kicks me out of the house i just quit my job and sold my apartment lease i have nothing i am nothing i took the  dollars i had and drove to my grandpas  hours away i have no money and they have no idea whats going on i have nothing to go home too better yet i have no home i feel so close to ending everything i just cant talk about it because i dont want other people to feel sorry for me or miss me when im gone i just want them to think i moved away and never came back,3.0
4090,backed up into a fence last nightnothing serious just scratches  waiting for the scolding to begin,2.0
4091,mingfaichan lala songs ,0.0
4092,samuellippke are you kidding me what happened i thought they were so happy ,2.0
4093,krucial go lakers i wanted to see kobe  lebron ,2.0
4094,hope this might help feel free to remove if not good luck to all of you  hey everyone i wanted to let you know i was here a while ago and felt really really freaking down every day like horrifically so wanting to die couldnt get out of bed no light at the end of miles of tunnels it felt very psychological and was convinced there was no way outi dont feel like that anymore i cant prove it but my story is thisfor years and years i was inching my way slowly into a deeper and darker depression without any real causing factor and it felt so very real and so horribly dark alongside this i had numerous digestive problems too blood work fine scans fine everything supposedly fine yet physically i was exhausted with recurring stomach aches vomiting and exhaustion this exhaustion became emotional too over time but i failed to recognise the correlation between gut health and mind health so much dopamine lives in our freaking guts peopleanyways with no aim at all to solve my mind only to solve my digestion i cut out glutenwheat i also cut out dairy i started taking one teaspoon of black seed oil and manuka honey dailymy digestive issues began improving immediately but and i still cant quite believe it but so did my head i became less exhausted i enjoyed simple things like birdsong and sunshine again i wanted to exercise and exercise felt good again just yeah felt so much better this happened within weeks of changing my dietbasically im not suffering from that dark cloud anymore its gone i have ups and downs like everyone else sure but the darkness is gone and i want to live againim not saying this will work for everyone but it did work for me and if theres even a chance it could work for someone else then i urge you to try it good luck x,3.0
4095,i made it stopped antidepressants after  years after being diagnosed with depression back in  sleepless nights panic attacks amp severe anxiety i got stuck with fluoxetinei was cured of the symptoms after  year however i was surprised that my body was now a slave and dependent of this antidepressant my doctor advised to reduce the dosage graduallyhere i am after  years i can say i am free of that substance which at some point was th source of my anxiety since it reminded of the dark days and i was still chained to iti cant deny the fact that ive noticed some effects since ive stopped but the feeling of being finally pill free tops it all i can only say to anyone reading this post to stay strong i can understand its not easy at all but remember youre not alone i hope i gave some positive vibes to someone out there ,3.0
4096,qlamorous sorryi just thought u guys hated places like that lol but i was def happy to see u guys amp then u guys left wout a word ,2.0
4097,julmolinari i get anxiety watching this,2.0
4098,wnchstrsgirl wish we had places like that over here in the uk its such a beautiful house and the street looks nice too ,0.0
4099,then tomorrow photoshoot ,0.0
4100,elizabethbanks yourein nyc and im not drinking with  you ,2.0
4101,hoptonhousebnb please stop telling me about lovely food  all i have for my lunch is a humble ham sandwich ,2.0
4102,beginning my journey out of mediocrity and wondering if caroline knows the spanish word for earthquake could be why she did not feel it ,0.0
4103,had a blast with russ and everyone last night i love dancing with himjust like old times ,0.0
4104,is drinking nice cold sprite it is so cold that when i drink it i get chills yum just like i like iiiit ,0.0
4105,rt aisssar pls pray for my sanity and mental health thanks,0.0
4106,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
4107,thedukenator listen to the new stuff its really good ,0.0
4108,i dont know if im depressed and i dont wanna find out it is so hard to gather my thoughts but i will try my bestim not always sad it is usually up morning and downs late in the dayi sometimes think about suicide but it is nothing like i really wanna do or have the willpower to do so its more like i wanna live but i just feel like a weight for everyone when im around that id rather not be therei tried to talk about it with familydont be sad you have everythingand friendsgay loli used to be very productive being the top student at my university the first yeargramps died later that year and im happy i left him with me doing good with my studies since he really cared about megot  panic attacks drinking alcohol in that year which i decided to quit completelyi had  girlfriends in my whole life  single as of now  cheated on my and the  broke up with me because im too kind and realised so after  year recently this coronavirus thing made me extremely nervous and anxious stockpiling food and checking on parents maybe im a bit hypochondriaci think i should not take meds nor reach for medical treatment since a friend of mine which was depressed and under meds killed himself just one year agoi may be unfit for society or society may just be so fucked i dont wanna be a part ofill add what i can think of later thanks for reading,3.0
4109,biggest argument  am annoyed at myself right now haiz oh well love my boyfriend eitherways,2.0
4110, thank you for reading ohlala ,0.0
4111,marcypolanco u cooking  i want some pink potato salad right now  enjoy,0.0
4112,hunterf haha i must learn ill figure it out eventually until then ill just settle for putting the chips on top ,0.0
4113,i am welcoming myself to the twitter world  one more thing to keep up with ,0.0
4114,leesierodriguez lol if it werent for you women well us men wouldnt be the same  plus the  killer of men are women u know that right,0.0
4115,i dont want to go on antidepressants im kinda at my worst i did hurt myself the other night with the intention of not waking up im not normally like that i only got so bad because everything that makes me feel this way piled up and was like  times worse people recommend going on antidepressants but the thing is the negatives make it seems like things are going to get worse im not normally this bad and truth be told being happy makes me uncomfortable theres a weird comfort i feel i do want to live i want to see what things are like when im out of terrible household i just needed to get this off my chest,3.0
4116,i cant find my phone  youll all have to talk to me in person if you need me,2.0
4117,something going live  tension stress qa,0.0
4118,i love the smell of freshly cut grass in the morning ,0.0
4119,bloolizard any restaurant would be more legit if they had chavelas ,0.0
4120,xxdesxx i know  but i love it haha,2.0
4121,taehyung lost his grandfather i feel so sad i dont know what to say he doesnt deserve this may his grandfather re ,1.0
4122,melidraws i feel so bad for those with lessno qualifications i graduated  months ago and have been struggling ,1.0
4123,thanks schwellie for help with drop le beat  mfmbreakfast team is rocking this game,0.0
4124,ive seriously had enough every time i think the worst is over something comes back to fuck me up twice as hard i fix one problem and two more appear in its place im at a point where im just out of energy to do anything and im just so irritable about everything because i cant fix it im so sick of it all ,3.0
4125,nah only several kbs there  system  gb user  gb thats what scares me o apps  gb,2.0
4126,i need to get caught up on reading va i never have time ,2.0
4127,im so sad,0.0
4128,cutting i cant stop having urges i wish i could get the thoughts out of my head,3.0
4129,drinkingtrampoline wrestling aint no way to live  someone rub my head,2.0
4130,midnightsunco you just create a blip account search for songs and blip them  you get to listen to them ppl can follow you,0.0
4131,i need to find a girlfriend  its been a while,2.0
4132,this coffee is great ,0.0
4133,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs — dr joseph mercola mercola june  ,1.0
4134,my tummy is upset ,2.0
4135,another reason why basement books is amazing  they are playing fleet foxes ,0.0
4136,hanaames none  i am boring,2.0
4137,okay now im watching vids gt ideas are spurring   gt,0.0
4138,rt walkingfannibal so the journey ended like it began sad and lonely ,1.0
4139,bored outta my skull halo isnt even keeping me entertained ,2.0
4140,   had a wonderful day  gd is grrrrrrrrreat     ,0.0
4141,why is there such a need to compare depressions i feel like there is such a need of people a lot of times people without depression or anxiety to compare your depressionanxiety with someone elses to make a point about somethingi keep running into that issue with a friend who will compare his girlfriends anxiety about not wanting to watch zombie movies or things that she labels as scary with my severe anxiety about leaving my house and being surrounded by people hes done the same thing with the light bout of depression she got from getting shot down from an hourly retail job and tried to compare that to the depressive episode that i got after being rejected from over  jobs that required my specific skill set and education for whatever reason it always feels like he is trying to minimize my feelings or make it seem like well everyone has depression or anxiety look at my girlfriendim not sure how to really feel about that im not even sure if im looking for advice or commiseration,3.0
4142,erikgwilson radio i still havent gotten over that ,2.0
4143,themdizzle there was mining in pearl and diamond its how you got fossil pokémon  and its how they reinvented secret bases underground,0.0
4144,im in love with someone who doesnt love me ,2.0
4145,mikeybouchereau ugh fail  ,2.0
4146,rhe end of season six of oitnb killed me im so sad also piper and alex are adorable and im also very angry thank u and goodnight,1.0
4147,im tired whats the point i have a test in a few days but i havent done anything i wasted the holidays for nothingbefore halfterm started i was pretty motivated to make a change but throughout the weeks ive been feeling down amp couldnt bring myself to study where did my spark go ive been in bed all day doing nothingim tired of deceiving myself having false hope its a repetitive cycle i have no friends to talk to mainly due to social anxiety its so depressing seeing people having fun with their friends living a normal life ive told my personal tutor about my low moods amp low self esteem but she doesnt seem very understanding  trying to knock some sense into me  but im tired of the lies its not going to get better im still in the same state as the past few years im so lonely and dumb i cant think straight when studying or working ive tried so many things to defog my mind but nothing works i dont want to go back to uni tomorrow i just want to cry my eyes out,3.0
4148,houssein maybe because it is lost ,0.0
4149,wait derek died the crash the damn head ct wtf im sad,1.0
4150,dagadong its  here im going to get some sleep or ill be totally useless at work tomorrow thanks for the chat  good night,0.0
4151,i wish i had the courage to take my own life then at least id be able to skip being confronted by my myriad failings in this life,3.0
4152,woo won a hat at for my incredibly valuable contribution to pdf talk at  thanks fuzzyorange ,0.0
4153,outwardly high functioning inwardly exhausted with no motivation left the worst times of my depression have passed over the past  years i was placed on meds and started to see a therapist regularly however for the past year ive noticed i cannot get myself to do things easily without outward pressure or other people depending on me i put off cleaning doing laundry showering going to the gym buying groceries volunteering with my ems core brushing my hair getting dressed etc etc the list is  things long the only thing i can seem to do without question or procrastinating for the lack of a better word is going to work y am i like this i feel much happier than i have in a long time i just graduated college and am applying to medical school i am hopeful and excited for my future and no longer think about ending my life every day however this lack of motivation or energy are killing me slowly does anyone experience anything similar currently i am still on medication but am not seeing a therapist regularly my last one didnt feel too helpful after graduating my gp prescribes my meds no psychiatrist on deck anymore would therapy even help me if anyone has tips or just gets what i am talking about i would love to connect tldr i am happy and stable after a crappy time with depression over the past  years but i have no motivation for daily tasks and procrastinate doing basically everything except going to work is this something other people experience and can i beat it ,3.0
4154,want toast and jam no bread though ,2.0
4155,sertraline and casual drinking if this is not the right sub please feel free to direct me to the proper onei was just prescribed sertraline but my doctor said to not drink alcohol while on it does that mean absolutely zero alcohol i do not want to risk serious damage to myselfusually once a week i go to the pub i bartend at as a customer because our food is amazing and ill have one or two oldfashioneds should i just rule that out completely or will i be ok having one drink,3.0
4156,woo for three pages down and seven to gowhy in heck do i procrastinate  goal  for grad school do not wait,2.0
4157,dont leave me    yay i remembered ,0.0
4158,needs someone to hold ,2.0
4159,packed up and ready to go tomorrow  im taking a day offto go to a weddingblah  not gonna make it back to houston at all  ,2.0
4160,spiraling hey everyonei hope youre doing well ive been in denial for a while but im honestly not doing well i was just too busy to deal with my emotions and avoided them involuntarily now that i have a lot of free time because i quit my parttime job they owed me money and am on a semester break from university the reality of my emotional state is kicking my ass my mom usually says i cant have free time because its when im at my worst and i cant honestly say shes wrongbut lately ive been feeling useless and my sleeping schedule is being affected ive been falling asleep later and later because im a natural night owl i try to keep myself busy by drawing illustrating watching shows or videos on yt and i should be going to the gym regularly like i used to but im so unmotivated to leave the house even the thought of having to deal with strangers at the gym and thinking therell be a crowd there makes me anxious i used to have a personal trainer whod usually help with my motivation but im currently unemployed and have tuition to pay so most of my savings are going towards that that said hes been texting me and ive been a little evasive and avoiding confrontation because it makes me feel guilty telling him that i cant invest in that stuff right nowi only left the house for this past week to go shopping with my mom and visit my grandmother because i was basically dragged out by my momi feel incredibly guilty for all of this the bad sleeping patterns the bad eating habits the fact that i had to quit my job and now im nearly broke and the fact that i should be going to the gym but im not that said id like to avoid psychiatrists because ive had terrible experiences from being condescending to the medication and im also not swimming in money i refuse to take medication that will make me feel drowsy useless and unable to do anything other than sleep and zombie around the house and to top it all off its really hard for me to trust people and deal with a new person requires a lot of energy that i dont know if i have right nowps  i dont feel comfortable talking about this with my friends not that they wouldnt understand but its too much for me even trying to explain how this feelsany advice or suggestions,3.0
4161,missyleone writing correction trying to write  good luck on your trip ,0.0
4162,tommcfly aww bless dougie  do u actually read what we write back to you x,0.0
4163,not happy  just lost mias sensor and its only a day old ,2.0
4164,seanmalarkey thank you for the wordpress tutorials they will come in extremely helpful ,0.0
4165,hoping that marcbookpro feels better glad that amseng took care of him theyre cute together  i do however miss them cough ahem ,0.0
4166, lol  i wanna go see it,2.0
4167,its back i went a while without it a good few months where i was motivated seemingly happen in my position in life its now again fear and disappointment i still dont have an internship for school im slacking on my classes a little now so im constantly mad at myself and putting off more work for fear of failure i dont think ill get a job ive gained so much weight because of stress eating and drinking and i hate how i look and have no motivation to change it i dont think i can waking up is getting harder because once again living is a chore i hope im wrong ,3.0
4168,it feels like ive been eating a bowl of lead paint each day since the beginning of my junior year of high school i started my junior year in high school with hopes and a goal that i wanted to achieve boost my gpa to get in nhs national honor society buckle down on my precal since i wasnt particularly great in mathematics apply for scholarships and to score the highest possible grade in my act and sat i dont like to brag well really i do hate to brag but i was pretty intelligent throughout my academic experience and i figured that these goals were achievable but as soon it hit  marking period which was around midtolate november it all went downhill when i was feeling confident in myself in my precal classes as i was scoring as and bs on my test it all start turning into cs and s on all my quizzes and tests my habit of reading every so often has begun to diminish as i cant focus on the plot or even remember character names and their personalities and i would have to reread the same paragraph over and over and over again only for it to sleep through my mind again my interest of drawing has been abandoned since i cant draw anything worth looking at anymore hell even my social interactions between my few friends has been hindered because of my slowness of comprehending crap that i wouldve comprehend with ease before and now im having a hard time controlling my inner thoughts from spilling out too much and revealing the side that i dont want to show to my friend as i do have a problem on showing certain emotions during events especially the emotion of sadnessguilt for others and i do have very bad anger issuesi either dont feel bad for the person whom i dont know or even end up laughing because of it when i was in  grade our teacher taught us  and the holocaust and the horrors that took place everyone in the classroom was appalled by what happened to them and felt bad for them but i didnt feel anything for what happened even now learning about columbine bosnian genocide nanjing massacre and other horrible events i have a hard time feeling bad for the victims and the victims families as i cant feel anything about it but the hypocritical thing about this is that if something bad were to happen to my friends or family then i feel bad for them it seems like a ingroup biasfavoritism i dont know you i dont feel bad i know and care for you i feelbad and i dont want to show that quality as i want to be fair to everyone and not seem like a selfish prick i honestly dont know what to do anymore my grades arent complete dumpster fire yet as im still able to maintain my grades in my other courses but theyve taken a hit as well my interests and hobbies has been nonexistent in my life at this point and my social life is at risk because of my downward trend of my brains ability to do anything at this point at this rate im not gonna be a licensed md i wanted to become then to join doctors without borders with me becoming more and more idiotic and dull each day ,3.0
4169,jannarden damn those tias my gramps had them for years i hope your dad is okay ,2.0
4170,  i hope you guys have fun tonight were bummed that we cant be there ,2.0
4171,zarias we actually accomplished getting things done and were productive ,0.0
4172,when you realized you been suffering from depression for years,2.0
4173,coincidences kept me from realizing i had depression please take your body and mind seriously if its telling you something is wrong get help to preface i have suspected since around  grade that i was depressed but lets be real here that emo phase is all too common and i thought that was what was happening to me at the time in high school i found healthier ways to cope with my sadness other than cutting but i would still think about killing myself casually as if i was thinking about the weather i felt at the time there was no real intent behind iti have a cushy life no real problems other than some issues w my mentally ill brother amp my occasionally abusive mom i have a car a great education everything i could ask for i felt like i had nothing to be really sad about how could i possibly be depressed when others have it so much worse lately ive been suffering from digestive issues and extreme stomach pain which has persisted for months ill be in so much pain that i hyperventilate and feel like im going to pass out many doctors and tests later i was told my ultrasound and xrays were unremarkable and blood tests were stellar and was complimented on my low blood sugar decafter hearing that i was relieved and thought my journey was done there all i have to do is wait for my body to heal i thought i had a dnc in september which was traumatic in of itselfi noticed i had lost my appetite about a month after the dnc procedure and i would literally forget to eat for a whole day im super enthusiastic about food i love cooking but i would realize at the end of the day holy shit i havent eaten anything and would eat anything just for sustenance its now the beginning of january and i have without even trying lost  eating was and still is hard it feels like a chore but i still blamed it all on my digestive issues and stomach pain i called healthlink many times over that month and was told by every nurse that we dont treat people for just loss of appetite i was confused i hadnt felt hungry in months how was this not an issue but if medical professionals are telling me theres nothing wrong then there mustnt be anything wrong right my mom recently threatened suicide and in an angry rage tried to blame me i cried like a little child screaming and breathing irregularly i have never cried like that and i knew something was wrong since then i started uncontrollably yawning feeling super tired and unfocused i would slug through my day and then would have trouble sleeping at night at this point i googled am i depressed i was surprised to find that digestive issues and stomach pain were on the list of symptoms i knew from there that my next step is to find a psychiatrist and get the help i need to those of you who dont necessarily feel hopeless sad and depressed all the time or feel like you have nothing to be depressed about or ignore your thoughts because you think others have it worse please listen to your body you dont have to be suicidal and negative all the time you dont have to have the worst living situation in the world your feelings are valid and its better to investigate than to be like me leaving it for too long till you cant function you have to be your biggest advocate you know your body better than anyone else dont let anyone tell you that nothing is wrong if you truly feel like something is wrong,3.0
4174,how did i start my night off with crying over joon and now im sad over this too,2.0
4175,i need to decide on a phone to buy ,2.0
4176,chloeaungelique yea itll end next monday  thank god haha any time after that is awesome ♥,0.0
4177,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
4178,my summer is slipping through my fingers ,2.0
4179,for those that guessed american robin you are correct    pics coming soon ,0.0
4180,having a great weekend and emotional pergatory has its benefits  something special about the middle ground ,0.0
4181,ive made a youtube video about my depression its about other things too but depression is a big part of itthe thing is that ive got it about  done over more than a month ago  and now its just kinda sitting there unfinished  ampnbspi have tried to finish it but its just too difficulttrying to finish the video just proves itself to be too much of a task so i am just going to put it out as it is  ampnbsp  do you guys also experience this you start with something and at first you are excited but then when you are almost done you just loose the will to go forward  ampnbsp  anyway i am going to post a link here as soon as i have it uploadedits going to be a really good video so i hope some of you guys would like to watch it,3.0
4182,i miss my family ,2.0
4183, i will find out tomorrow ,0.0
4184,it brings a little sadness by a way but im ok cause i know that if god wants it someday it will happen i need to keep my faith on it ,0.0
4185,kirstiealley marleematlin just got tweet from marlee pretending i cant read the caption so whos the hottie nxt  da guy in red ,0.0
4186,when will it click in my brain i want to be happy i want to sleep when everyone else sleeps i dont want to be awake every day until  because i didnt have the energy during the day to complete school work i dont want to keep forgetting things ive been on meds for  years and ive been doing so well but since the school semester started i just dont have the energy i want to be happy i take a break on my phone that feels like  minutes and i look at the clock and its been  hours i want to be happy i dont want to have bad thoughts i dont want to get cold sweats when i start thinking about that i have to do when will my brain let me be happy,3.0
4187,foulkez ha you totally should be and im really jealous brandon got to hear you sing and i didnt ,2.0
4188,tappmeister i cant keep away from you  nah we are always going just out of london walking ,0.0
4189,about to smell flowers ,0.0
4190,andreironblind ,0.0
4191,jizbsb i went to the dentist im going on thurs to get all  teeth pulled ,2.0
4192,moefugger so no fugger visits to nyc   btw i miss your twistory tweets lol,2.0
4193,home at  am had a good nite tonite headache tho mixin henne and patron is not a good look at all ,2.0
4194,signed up to an audition ,0.0
4195,boyfriend with depression i need help my boyfriend suffers from depression the other day he asks for a break to collect himself  to respect him i agreed to the break  one week past then two and no communication i texted him nothing  im worried his room mate says hes goes to work come home locks up in his room and repeat  i want to be there for him  hes the love of my life  what should i do  go and visit him  text him call him i never dated a person with depression nor have i experienced it first hand  he wanted space so im giving it to him  he goes to work so i know hes fine  also he sent me one text saying im alive  nothing else im going crazy worrying insomnia headaches etc  i do not know what to do or how to help him  please help ,3.0
4196,wow starting to feel dizzy fom lack of sleep common onestepcloser go to sleep now night twittees ,0.0
4197,tried the uncharted  betaagainits getting better and better each time    watch out for teh mlgz today on xbox liveits hell,0.0
4198,darkpiano good night loren ,0.0
4199,talk to me tell me your problems vent anything let me help you because i cant help myself pm or comments are fine any conversation let me be here for you please,3.0
4200,i dont know what im doing ,0.0
4201,i really should stop tweeting and start dressing work soon damn  x,2.0
4202,rt thatboyjordynnn pray for yo girl she battles stress depression amp anxiety she doesnt need you to fix her she needs strength to heal,2.0
4203,aimstah meeting up with hubby xd which i have to do now ,2.0
4204,breefero yeahsorry girl  i was like ewwno amp im sad we wont get to see each other tomorrownext week we should have coffee hehe,2.0
4205,nobody answers meim sad ,2.0
4206,meiacojido u could have disagreed  lol,2.0
4207,vitalstatistiks i can tell you none at least here  the horror pictures had no influence ,0.0
4208,skishua i know   when your online on skype again text me no matter what time it is gtlt,2.0
4209,love this sunshine  makenzies in a bit and boyfriend later yay,0.0
4210,has finally caught up on all of her favorite tv shows  i am off to grab some sleep now ttyl cozy ,0.0
4211,school traps me in thought seriously i hate school simply because it forces me to linger on the thoughts in my head its gotten so terrible that i kind of just stare downwards at my desk nothing on it or anything just the wooden top of the desk once my english teacher noticed and told me i had sat in the same position and stared at my desk for at least  minutes straight the worse part about this whole thing is how when i am thinking its about the same things over and over it starts with how my life used to be good then transitions to how a rather large move i had across the us changed my life then i end up thinking about my old friends which then makes me think about the one who killed them self which then makes me anxious that the others that do still talk to me might do the same or just simply leave me which then all transitions back to where i was before with remembering life before god why does life have to do this to me shit like this is making my grades drop and is probably also making other students think im crazy from all the staring i dont think id hate school that much if my brain just stopped thinking all the damn time at least the video games at home get my mind off of reality,3.0
4212,djeddieone we will c  make the best team win i know my mexico is ready new coach top of the line players i got faith,0.0
4213,home  will reasses the amount ive put on in the morning ,2.0
4214, im supposed to be bug fixing and im twittering too its not good enough its twitter or work bug fixing will have to go ,0.0
4215,so much for being on time today this week back is kicking my ass and im back to having crazy dreams that fuck up my sleep third day ,2.0
4216,hakthedj problem with twitterbox is that it keeps crashing atm ,2.0
4217,whats the point  years old starting to see signs of vitiligo feel like my hair is getting worse joints ache making no progress at gym been on placement for the last  months and dont think ive achieved anything no self confidence have to choose my dissertation by friday no fucking clue and probably to fail it anyway  in few months genuinely believe i have nothing to show for it whats the point anymore ,3.0
4218,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
4219,fearnecotton heyy  could you play its not fair by lily allen pleasee thankyouuu xxx,0.0
4220, damn frat  thats too bad  should be a good show at least im hoping so esp since its in bk,2.0
4221,loooong day and its not even close to done yet  just popping in to say hi to all my tweeting friends,2.0
4222,im not suicidal and now i feel even worse im new to the sub so a little backstoryi was diagnosed with atypical depressionbipolar no doctor or psychiatrist knows whats wrong with me when i was  ive gone through every med rehab treatment you name it the best one helped me for  months before the side effects were worse than the illness in the first placeive had three friends my whole life social anxiety is to blame on that one two of em died from suicide and the other is off in college and just blows me off whenever i wanna talk there is another friend i have now but shes going through enough shit herself so i dont have anyone to help me out with my issues i had to be in rehabhospitals for about two years during highschool the teachers said theyd work with me but they didnt they literally screwed me over i actually got some district laws changed so they wouldnt hurt anyone else but even still i wont be able to go to college to get a degree in anything im good at which if i were im pretty confident i could revolutionize the quantum computer industry but because of a billion factors ill probably be stuck working minimum wage for the foreseeable future not that i could hold a job right now even if i had onethe only thing ive found reliable solace in is meditation and praying to my spirit guides plus by all logic its a miracle im alive let alone brain dead let alone unscathed from the attempt i made to take my life and not to sound like a total downer but with my belief in reincarnation i now feel totally uninterested in suicide which makes me feel worse i always thought that i could try again but now i dont even have that option if i wasnt feeling like an animal in a cage before i sure as hell do now parental issues are a thing for me too ughim hoping that someone on here can help me out with coming to terms with this caged feeling if anyone reads this any glimmer of hope or advice or anything at all would be very much appreciated,3.0
4223, moonfrye reeses peanut butter cups wish they made them like reeses peanut butter bars  ,0.0
4224,time to get my shit together ive gotta start working out again and taking care of my skin and staying on top of work this isnt a new years resolution or anything but nobody can help me if i dont help myself so might as well start now ya feel maybe ill even get a therapist that ive needed for such a long time here goes nothing gang wish me luck,3.0
4225,thought  would be better yet i feel even worse mentally every year since  has been steadily getting worse for me and ever since then its been affecting me badly its fucking horrible and even worse i have problems communicating my feelings to others including friends or family i fantasize about harming myself and even ending it i cant do it though because im afraid of dying and cant hurt my boyfriend friends or family from this i dont know anymore thoughi dont know what to do,3.0
4226,had fun with her roomie and her friends too bad i have to work early tomorrow ,2.0
4227,im new here hi this is a midnight post where i try to sleep but i cant bc of all the thoughts that go thru my mind ive come to realize that i am still depressed ive been in denial and thinking i am fine ive gained so much weight in the past months my entire family is depressed and it saddens me so we are not close to each other anymore and it doesnt feel like a family i just dont feel the love anymore everyone is a stranger to me ive come to the decision to see my counselor again i cant do this alone ,3.0
4228,rt  i wish every single person could see this can we raise awareness for anxiety and mental health please 🙏🏻💜 ,0.0
4229,dont want to get upppp ,2.0
4230, fantastic  well done i bet youre chuffed ,0.0
4231,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
4232,alilfatmonkey aircond shut off  minutes ago and am still in da office ,2.0
4233,evilalf i kno bummer aint it  never mind you will see me which will make it better ,2.0
4234,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
4235,jessicaveronica and we love you  haha come back to australia soon  xxx,0.0
4236,lukereborn it makes me sad that youre sad ,2.0
4237,today im really sad because id just broke up with my boyfriendwhat a worst day   ,2.0
4238,feelin so lousy i may just curl up and disappear into nowhere  i need a hug and pint of chocolate ice cream,2.0
4239,ecullenz sparkles are good ,0.0
4240,rt  my skin trippin my anxiety trippin and my phone trippin damn i just gotta throw my whole life away now,1.0
4241,some of the most precious times are those that i spend singing worship songs to my saviour i love our time together he is so wonderful ,0.0
4242,adii i was getting really excited yesterday cos id got my list down to  things wrong it was counting incorrectly  bugger,2.0
4243,fucking sick ,2.0
4244, holy cow i cant afford that either ,2.0
4245,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
4246,kcinwpb i think it just doesnt like underscores problem fixed as soon as i renamed and resaved the file ,0.0
4247,yanibabi yup  good luck wit it,0.0
4248,louiegiglio just to let you know  i care  just like  other followers twitter ,0.0
4249,joshglidewell beth and isabella are excited to see josh soon ,0.0
4250,all this depression i dont wanna live,1.0
4251,hmmm would rather be sunbathing than stuck in here ,2.0
4252, or go to  floor official quiet floor ,0.0
4253,i just woke up  listening to phil collins,2.0
4254,been having a lot of painburning when i pee pretty sure i have a uti ,2.0
4255,hollywoodrose st louis bread company ,0.0
4256, what has nine arms and sucks god im mean ,2.0
4257,listening to a pregant woman on howard stern explain why she is now working as a high class hooker  madness says i ,2.0
4258,edenlevan ahh kk lol thanks    btw if you want any cheats i know loads now ,0.0
4259,about to go out to eat ,0.0
4260,nevadadon i cant now  the curtains are closed ,2.0
4261,i am still un sure what to do ,2.0
4262,yum that was soo so good i wish i had another one there was only one left and i ate it but but i want another one ,2.0
4263,you cant please everybody  ,2.0
4264,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4265,as a mhblogger i notice that the brand emails go quiet when i speak about mental health  coincidence ,1.0
4266,my impatiens are starting to bloom ,0.0
4267,georgevhulme heh i remember thatim ignoring that  i worked through a cyberstorm eventit was um interesting,0.0
4268,ryancmiller thanks for the ff ,0.0
4269,rt  كلمات مترجمة قلق  anxiety  انقزايتيإزعاج  bother  باذرمراعاة  إهتمام  concern  كونسيرن ثقة  confidence,1.0
4270,brihow yes that is me how did u know and why do u need cheering up ,2.0
4271, nice  i think im gonna have to use this quote too  ,0.0
4272,pool day ,0.0
4273, cont thats just super duper awesome loland im prob gonna end up going college here  ha for mama but ill cont,2.0
4274,i miss hanging out with my boys ,2.0
4275,rayretaliation rachel your picture is so cute ,0.0
4276,this makes me so sad my heart is breaking for him 💔 i know exactly what its like to lose grandparents and its h ,1.0
4277,ps  theres this boy i miss heaps and heaps i wonder if he misses me too ,2.0
4278,run out of wine again ,2.0
4279,raytoro lol its good to hear your voice xp omg so happy for gee amp lynz youre like uncle ray now ,0.0
4280,just fought with my best friend shes tired of me she wants to end our friendship or at least to make it less important than what it used to be and the only reason i didnt commit suicide for a lot of time is because of her what should i do,3.0
4281,silly working weekends with early mornings ,2.0
4282,ps someone start listening so they can come to ivory blacks with me in october  and fr are playing edinburgh saaaaaaaaake,2.0
4283,rt chimtaekookcham so thats why taehyung is missing in the boys trip his father passed away 😫😭 tae must be really shocked and sad 😔,1.0
4284,good evening to all  ,0.0
4285,its just evil how everything that can help against depression requires things that are hard to do when you are depressed gt of course you will be depressed if you sit at home all day you need to exerciseits hard to find the energy to exercise several times a week when getting out of bed brushing your teeth or showering feel like monumental challengesgt of course you will be depressed if you eat terrible food you need to have a diverse diet with lots of different vegetables and fruitagain if brushing your teeth feels hard then how should you find the energy to spend the time to research recipes buy fresh produce store it prepare it before it goes bad wash it peel it chop it cook it then wash the dishesgt of course you will be depressed if you are alone all day you need some friendshow do you find friends if you have nothing to talk about because you spend most of your time alone and not doing anything interesting and you are low energy and unable to be excited and laugh at loudgt you need to stop thinking so negatively and be nicer to yourselfhard to do when you do nothing all day and are uselessand then there are all those things that cost a lot of money which is hard to earn when you have no energy,3.0
4286,adriolivera lmao buddies think alike  hehe raven is funny but cory in the house kinda killd it its funny too but it got old ,0.0
4287,jezriyah sitting here with a tiger card with your name on it    you still want it,0.0
4288,if my tweets intrigue you add me as a friend on facebook  httpwwwfacebookcomsherrymain,0.0
4289,hellowandereruk medication crisis catalyst depression recoveryrebuilding polymath creativity httpstcosrojbqdsis,1.0
4290,kittenmeow awwww  hugs at least youve got monkey to look after you ,2.0
4291,the greatest tvshow ever is over  i cant stop crying nothing will ever beat er,2.0
4292,heading down to miami for the week should be fun ,0.0
4293,weekends over  back  monday  hope i dont go crazy and run a muck ,2.0
4294,rt kaitlinaraya happy listen to john mayersad listen to john mayerangry listen to john mayerconfused listen to john mayerhear,2.0
4295,im so scared to leave the house on my own catch that man please mk police ,2.0
4296,evidently its much too hot and humid to sew in this timy room ,2.0
4297,rt girlposts me when im just chilling but my anxiety and depression start acting up ,1.0
4298,awesome so i asked for  bucks on rborrow and a good guy gave me the  i had full intention on paying him back but i had a seizure while driving and couldnt pay him on time he redacted the payment twice saying hed bought a watch for  on craigslistlol now my account is for fraud when i tried to pay but my account was locked i lost my job and im fucking done no need for help fuck it,3.0
4299,rt counsellorscafe heres what its really like to suffer from depression  metro news depression  ,1.0
4300,awesome weather ,0.0
4301,drwpwln dudeeeeee how was it for you sad we never ran into each other but goddd damn same depression is real,1.0
4302,finally seeing up in  ready to shed some tears  ,2.0
4303,todays chill yay  movie later we shall see,0.0
4304,crap it happened again woke up  minutes before my alarm went off this has been happening for almost a week now time to go to work ,2.0
4305, i dont even know where to get cayenne pepper i am at work anyway  cant just be sick at home or anything,2.0
4306,a new low i cried harder than i ever have in my life this morning just when i though it couldnt get worse my nose exploded blood and its all over me my carpet and my bathroom its too much of a mess for me to even handle right now id find it funny if i didnt feel so abysmally empty,3.0
4307,good luck miley   mileycyrus,0.0
4308,in health with nikki and bb ,0.0
4309,krizanovich another bad film quotgods and generalsquot sadly as a mature student entering american studies its a quotmustviewquot apparently ,2.0
4310,i want my followers back ,2.0
4311,rt icedcoffeemaker do you ever get extremely sad because you want to talk to someone but youre so boring that you dont know what to tal,1.0
4312,can someone help me with multiply  im kinda new at this,0.0
4313,therealjmac puttin on jammies tryna decide if im gonna go  sleep ,0.0
4314,mikeanywhere  cant beat beans on toast ,0.0
4315,rofl ruby looks like susan boyle with her disheveled hair eatbulaga hahaha no other set of hosts can be this much fun ,0.0
4316,omg my eyes are pure stinging and watery ,2.0
4317,rammohanr yealooks like it issorry abt nt gettin in touchwas hectic ,2.0
4318,feenyftw ahh dont jinx me now im going to die ,2.0
4319,i live for weekends ,0.0
4320,im losing it i havent been in such a dark place in so long i have been isolating myself for weeks now i hardly see anyone that i should and i hardly ever leave my roomits getting bad im starting to talk to myself a lot more than usual im finding it harder to process things in my mind im constantly living in the past seeing through my curtains and thinking about how things used to be and thinking about the people ive losti have so many things that i havent let go of that i should have by now i think that life was so much better back then but maybe it wasnt and things are just even worse now ,3.0
4321,rt sweethaunting if anyone knows of any good books that help w overcoming social anxiety that arent the whole alternative medicine type,0.0
4322,tell me why so hard to forget dont remind me   i luv this song  xd,0.0
4323, lol well he couldlmfao hehehehe ,0.0
4324,nomadnp im sorry but im also glad that its possbile for us living in america to salivate over salad ,0.0
4325,invisiblepigeon cmon you need to distract yourself how about a little karaoke we could sing its the end of the world as we know it ,0.0
4326,rt veteranshealth suicide is preventable help us bethere for our veterans and make sure no one is left behind watch and share this p,0.0
4327,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
4328,coreymagstadt phew i was worried  dont have too much fun ,0.0
4329,mrbobbybones still love the show though ,0.0
4330,xchadballx haha cant wait maybe its a comeback to england been to all your london shows so gutted not to be seeing you at reading ,2.0
4331,rt ulteargrants aright depression cancelledt i love you baby so much youre sooooo cute ,0.0
4332,laylanatalie bethnal green ,2.0
4333,rt sovietbitch why do asian parents think yelling is gonna fix anything all it does is instill fear and anxiety in your fucking children,2.0
4334, thank you for reminding me i actually have something in mind given the date hint its star trek related ,0.0
4335, sowieei think mic had a problem with their internet connection ,2.0
4336,trying to develop selfworth ive been having high functioning depression for about  months and it later developed into clinical depression for  career destroying months and really pulled me into the void and now back to the ambitious high functioning asshole yet empty but still runs of coffee but one thing i havent through my journey through life and its labors is having any sense of self worth how does one who actively loathe himself daily and trys to change for the better love themselves i frankly dont see anything to love myself forpeople might say im a good person but i just dont see in myself maybe i wasnt born with any hubris or grandiosity ,3.0
4337,just got downgraded from a  widescreen monitor to a  normal one   no more hidef,2.0
4338,carrievmason i tried to take her quotbinkiequot shes almost off of it  ,0.0
4339,error  hey um this is my first post and im not sure if im doing this right but here i go does anyone else feel like theyre existing wrong not in a wrong as in bad but wrong as in incorrect i feel like everything i do from my heart beat to my hand writing is incorrect and i dont know why i know that there isnt a correct way to exist but i cant help but feel like i wasnt supposed to be alive and im just a mistake that slipped through the cracks of the univers from the second i wake up i feel like the essence of a  error because i know something is wrong with me but i dont what or how to fix it why should i keep existing when i know that i dont belong ,3.0
4340,its  i went to bed exhausted  hours ago and can not find sleep  feels like i have  more hours in me  i need to be up in  ,2.0
4341,dan and i are at dairy queen same side sitting ,0.0
4342,stefachino adslfjkaeoiaadsf i miss my stef ,2.0
4343,some people are retarded my friends are pretty awesome night assholes ,0.0
4344,could you support the work we do for exclusive rewards and more information about how you could get involved visi ,0.0
4345,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
4346,rt lateeface your mcm has been bullying people on the tl for years then drops a blog post about depression,2.0
4347,samuelhorler not quite sure in a funny mood haha ,0.0
4348,had flat tire today my poor baby hurt its paw ,2.0
4349,preppydude in honor of your birthday i shall drink a cherry coke zero and maybe just maybe wear crocks ,0.0
4350,rebeccahellam erin mikeschreiner if we can provide any reliable system that can help children in care and that ,0.0
4351,tired headachey hot and i miss my boo ,2.0
4352,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
4353,how do you deal with coworkers my coworkers tend to make tons of comments joking about things im insecure about and im completely aware theyre joking and arent really trying to be assholes but it still affects me and makes me feel like crapi feel like if i was normal id just be able to take the things as jokes  like i should  but im too emotionally fragile ,3.0
4354,still feeling pretty rubbish ,2.0
4355,hit me up hey yall i understand that for many of us the holidays are the worst time of the year many of you feel alone many of you feel that nobody understands youive overcome much of my own depression obviously i havent cured it but im surviving and thats the next step on the way to living im about to go to sleep hit me up with a chat or dm and ill get back to you when i wake up i dont want anyone to feel alone tomorrow goodnight my friends,3.0
4356,my face really hurts its official ,2.0
4357,so last night was fun  anyone like to eat out hahahahaa,0.0
4358,facebook  hacked ughh sucks  permanent sad face plastered on me for the rest of the day ,2.0
4359,rt lionfaisal prophet muhammad ﷺ saidif your good deeds make you happy amp your bad deeds make you sad then you are a believer,1.0
4360,im in pain ,2.0
4361,can now play apologize on the piano yayness ,0.0
4362,emilyosment hey i love ur style itz great  plz write back thankz,0.0
4363,feel so powerless controlling parents  year old closeted gay guy in college who feels strongly depressed my two biggest symptoms are extreme appetitehunger  pound weight gain in fall but thankfully still skinny guy plus the need for a ton of sleep feel like garbage if i have to wake up before right now i am in college and i feel so trappedstuckpowerless my parents are making me get up at   to take  classes this semester and say that i have no choice in the matter theyre doing this cause i got mostly bs in the fall and they want a return to more as however this move has made me feel like complete garbage all day long my schedule i s also really hard bc i am graduating a year early to get away from my parents however its this ugly paradox in order to escape my parents i need to do this super hard schedule however because of my parents i am closeted and depressed which makes pulling off a schedule of this difficult caliber very rough please help me guys i feel so lost right now,3.0
4364,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
4365,i hate myself i constantly want to kill myself but i dont have the courage to go through with it realizing this makes me hate me even more i have nowhere to turn,3.0
4366,completely lost and feeling really alone  not sure how to fix it hey  here with no real dedication of college other than just to have something to go to and complete i have no real friends as i just moved which isnt helping i usually just sink into my work and end up getting depressed and a  yr itch will come along to make me want to move i get the itch to move but i have no idea why or what would be the point of me to move im currently in mo w a so due to family emergencies and i am just feeling stuck and depressed as our relationship isnt really the strongest thing out there half the time im not happy thats my own thing to deal with  im just stuck financially as ive spent every dime i had for us to move here for him to be close to his grandmaim pretty depressed in general some days are worse than others i just find myself not particularly passionate about much anymore i miss doing dance and being healthy and doing it in an artistic way but other than that i truly cant think of anything else i want to do w my life i think about leaving once i have some savings but i dont even know what id want to do then im just lost i dont expect yall to have the answers but any advice on how to get out of the funk any advice on where or how to get more friends without meeting at a shitty bar or shitty drunk ,3.0
4367,i loveeee my friends im going to misss them alot ,2.0
4368,correction moar purdy wimmenz ,0.0
4369,feeling absolutely horrid slept  hours last night if that sore throat fever aches amp im at work      wishing today would end now,2.0
4370,being physically unhealthy  is taking a toll on my mental health,2.0
4371, cool  are you able to blog about it to start with ,0.0
4372,itschelseastaub u didnt expect it how could u not be nominated  xoxo ninaa akaur poser buster ,0.0
4373,quotleave her to heavenquot and quotmy man godfreyquot  two very different takes on whirlwind marriages ,0.0
4374, lol i wouldnt lie to you ,0.0
4375,jeremycshipp i love your planet palz movie its awesome funny amp cute i cant wait to see more ,0.0
4376,driver hijacked my chances of having futsal training ,2.0
4377,does anyone still can download from amanaimages ,2.0
4378,nitin santosh man which movies did u watchin blore its fukin shtno movies on d run ,2.0
4379,omg it is so hot in this house ,2.0
4380,goooooorgeous day beach alll dayyyy ,0.0
4381,springtime how do you guys deal with the spring for me its the worst time for my deppression i see life comeing back to life people seems more happy  and looking forward to and planing springsummerbreak  i hate seeing all this anticipation of joy while i sit here nad can barley get out of the sofadoes anyone have some good coping mechanisms for this time of yearand btw i filled my sink lets hope i i muster the motivation to do the dishes,3.0
4382,my cat just winked at me i dont know how to wink so i cant wink back ,2.0
4383,raginaphalange fansite on again ,0.0
4384,whats the link between creativity and depression  huffpost creativity  ,2.0
4385,amandaholden i am glad you have got your account back  wow i hope you have fun in new york what you working on over there x,0.0
4386,georgiobaker course you did love but mattgarner would have made it epic  pleaseee matt,0.0
4387,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
4388,seeing the hangoverr ,0.0
4389,i dont feel good  going to bedgotta be up in  hours,2.0
4390,rt businessmotiv never apologize for• crying• depressionanxiety• how you feel• needingasking for help• expressing your opinion,0.0
4391,will be glad when i feel better ,2.0
4392,shadyadie ive just seen your website its amazing  that three piece band with the rider i know them right,0.0
4393,jenatpchelps depends on how complicated the software is and how intelligent my employees are ,0.0
4394,crunchbitejr ahh i love charlie  and the magical leoplurodon ,0.0
4395,dying programming gives me headaches which coding is for which again ,2.0
4396,silknpearls they are all sleeping ,0.0
4397,is in naomis house   dance httpplurkcompveojw,0.0
4398,roseformyrose its the oasis sports centre on endell street dont take any nice things though my friend had their locker broken into ,2.0
4399,chriscabrera my friend would have no idea who any of them aresmh  you should go for me,2.0
4400,ohemgeematt okayill check them outn retweet ,0.0
4401,victorianqueen another rain lover ,0.0
4402,tired of everything slept a lot last nightalso had nightmares ,2.0
4403,really need to reorganize my flickr account  not amused ,2.0
4404,hyped for yearbook signing on monday and tuesday only finished one chapter of ss  and just realized tht my grade  marks are dismal,2.0
4405,lidiaanain yeah its fun to visit but i always end up falling in love  i try to keep away as much as possible ,0.0
4406,olerafa sorry  i wish i could stream this somehow,2.0
4407,successfool  woo hoo congrats you must be so happy ,0.0
4408,keeps getting wolf whistled  its more than annoying x,2.0
4409,i miss rongbao ,2.0
4410,happy sweet seventeen  mee  ohh yeah  thks god  everything,0.0
4411,rt johnastoehr drvox  maybe democrats didnt understand the economic anxiety of the white working class or their alienation fr ,1.0
4412,cant decide if its worse that my dog has cancer or that im incredibly attracted to a girl i cant have  dramaandangst,2.0
4413,il be leaving internet and my cellphone for almost  starting now vacation vacation ,0.0
4414,rain may wash out indias opener httpbitlywmte  ,2.0
4415,onemadfabgirl haha be careful though  everyone is looking,0.0
4416,tienes anxiety báñate con pura agua fría veras que se te quita en chinga i love my people 😂😂😂😂,1.0
4417,bored out of my mind want pizza but everywhere closed ,2.0
4418,mspinkcess i really like her too hey god answered our prayers no rain today  only a short drizzle,0.0
4419,im not okay right now another throwaway i cant handle this anymore can someone please please please help me i have been trying so hard to get better but i cant its like i cant see how else this is going to end my relationship sucks and i know he wants to leave me he shuts down when im like this and hes the only person in the house of course the only voice left is the one inside i dont think ill make it out this i probably wont hurt myself today but you know the thought has passed through my brain a million times today i wish i can sleep and not wake up and itll be the best solution for me if only i did things right and i wont be in the situation right now its all my faulti hope everyone else has a better day than i have right now,3.0
4420,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
4421,i dont wanna do anything this weekend except see david  too bad im not gonna get what i want,2.0
4422,jordanknight u didnt say we could add photos to the email ,2.0
4423,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
4424,awwwwwww    zebras died at the greater vancouver zoo    poor zebras,2.0
4425,off to tkb in arlington at ymca  shhhh dont tell  i am cheating they will rase my dues   apartment httplooptusdbfnswt,0.0
4426,all my love goes out to mike tyson on the loss of his  daughter ,2.0
4427,fetusatthedisco watch transformers sorry time diff  gonna seee it on friday,2.0
4428,my birthday is tomorrow and i cant stop crying ill finally be an adult tomorrow i should be excitedbut my mood is so low and im so tired i dont even have a reason to be this wayits just my brainthis might be my worst birthday ever,3.0
4429,sitting at a hospital on the ground  family is fine but friend is in need of prayer ,2.0
4430, awwww thats so sweet  you gotta give her some sunday love,0.0
4431,everywheretrip oh darni overslept and got the message too late    lol,2.0
4432,glenniest tiger burrito is too far takes too long ,0.0
4433,im in a toxic shame spiral want to give up on life but also dont want to be found in this fucking mess after  months when they find me cause the rent hasnt been paid for i just dont know what to fucking do anymore i know all the cognitive therapy skills been way too long in therapy i know i dont deserve to feel this shitty and that the problems i have are definitely not worth dying for but how horrible i feel on the inside i cant explain im wondering how i even made it till this age i constantly have flashbacks over when people may thought i was disgustingdirty and then i feel so much shame i just want to fucking die its like its going natural even when my mind is blanco for a while and im not focusing on iti always ask for help i tell people what i am dealing with but nobody cares to check up on me or even make fun of me and my situationam also afraid that because of this i need to move far away where no one knows me so ill get a chance in love cause maybe someone will gossip about me about how bad the circumstances are i live in and that they will feel disgusted by me leaving me heartbrokenalso constantly having random ocd attacks that i am afraid that gaspipe will explode or something or that they dont want me to live here anymore and that i have a short time to leave my house but i cant even fucking move out of bed to get to the toileti know most of this is not rational and even when people think i am disgusting it shouldnt define me but im way too sensitive for everything these days and idk what to do anymore other than give up or find someone who exactly knows what i am going through and build a strong supportive bond with each other but no one actually cares that much for a long time they give up very easy,3.0
4434,my eyes are super blurry todayand yes i have my glasses onits very annoyingalso annoying is that i oversleptwanted to be up at  ,2.0
4435,myselfandmore when will joys final brain cell commit suicide stay tuned,1.0
4436,being tall has its ups and downs  my legs are in pain ,2.0
4437,beautiful day in santa monica but not at the beach ,2.0
4438,songdreamer np  i tried to dm you back  but i cant,0.0
4439,nothing ,2.0
4440,rt charstarlene my heart goes out to those of us whose anxiety has gone from crippling to an accelerating vomitshitdeathlike ever since,1.0
4441,i just got some bad news  my hubbys grandma is dieing of cancerthis is just toooo much to handle right now  ,2.0
4442,being nice to depressed people ive been told online before that my fears of annoying other people with my problems are unsubstantiated that people will help i cant empathize i hate it when people complain to me and the sound of crying disgusts me ive been hearing it nonstop the last few years and i wish everyone would stop being so selfish keep their fucking problems to themselves and die without pestering others,3.0
4443,sick with a nasty sore throat amp hacking away  nastyuggggghhhh ,2.0
4444,rt walkonomics people who walk  minutes a day are  more likely to report better mental health walkability headstogether   https,0.0
4445,jonathanrknight so how was the poole party get sunburned did you play marco polo do tell ,0.0
4446,polycountpirate  the sad part is i could believe it,1.0
4447,awww 😞 ,2.0
4448,still not home  starting  get anxious trapped in this car i had an anxiety attack in the resuraunt and had  leave ,2.0
4449,batgirlbob i know very upsetting  not the best start to the day luckily managed to recover contacts but pics of my cousins are gone ,2.0
4450,hulfster im pretty sure eb just changed its name and moved around the corner by the chocolate place but yeah cd plus is gone  ,2.0
4451,jacvanek i just ordered some bracelets from your site all thanks to the taylormosher frankiedelgado featuring mandyyjirouxx show  woo,0.0
4452,dmitrybaranovsk you could definitely get a sxsw spot the question is can you afford the hotel and airfare sxsw wont cover anything ,2.0
4453,peterpek wow hows  women drivers in red bull  are they hot  ,0.0
4454,yayy ashhhftw is online ,0.0
4455, sounds funnyeveryone says its hilarious  awk i know alot of peeps that dnt watch iti find it quite intriguing though ,0.0
4456,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
4457,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4458,i hate talking about my depression with people because it always gets handled so terribly only on rare occasions where im feeling the lowest of absolute low is when i reach out to people thats how willing i am to not talk to anyone about it even if i do talk about it i rarely mention thoughts of suicide not that i want to commit suicidei just geniunley dont have the nerve for it just that sometimes i think about being dead and how much better off id be not feeling anything  i get this stabbing feeling in my chest and i cry so hard that tears dont come out anymore i get this burning thought of anyone please help me anyone  when i do give people a chance to be let in  these number of things happen the classic sorry that sucks it makes me feel way worse  people who aggressively try to solve my problem instead of just listening to me i appreciate the optimism but your link to an article on  ways to be happy just makes me feel worse about myself  i get the sense that my depressing thoughts make them uncomfortable and it turns into an awkward moment  that makes me feel like a shitty person because now i feel as if i shoved my problems onto them  they pity me and do things for me just because they feel bad you may think you have me fooled but trust me i can smell the pity favors from a mile away  dont think like that thanks ive tried  i get uncomfortable myself and feel like people think im looking for attention while im grateful society accepts mental illness a lot more now i feel it comes with a lot of people who pretend to have depression because of that i get self conscious and wonder if people think thats what im doingpeople constantly say theyre here for you but over time ive come to realize thats not true  of the time the conversation ends up in one of the scenerios above i havent had a genuine conversation with someone who understands my pain or who has actually helped me i slowly have cut people off because of this i hurt people and i hurt myself i am to the point that im now completely isolated and have zero real life friends it sounds pathetic but its the truth on the rare occasion anyone asks to hang out i always have an excuse i dont find fun in hanging out with people anymore when i do i just think about being at home by myself the entire time im out,3.0
4459,izgotbeer im pretty decent  how about you ,0.0
4460,ckbwop after some deep thought no if caesars had o  you would still run bad ,2.0
4461,started a new round of  just got back from the gym love it posting pics soon ,0.0
4462,andysowards its been a good friday new clients today and just finished a tasty chinese meal  all good,0.0
4463,drinking some juice before school ,0.0
4464,and we lost the second game ,2.0
4465,i missed conans first show tonight  i hope they post the whole thing up on hulu and not just bits of it,2.0
4466,but i dont want to see updates of ppl i dont follow ,2.0
4467,chloeeeeee boring aint it ,2.0
4468,my depression is getting worse i feel numb the only thing that is keeping away from killing myself are my family members i dont want to burden them even more by killing myself i want to be happy like the other kids my age seeing their instagram posts of them living their being happy and stuff makes feel jealous do i not deserve to be happy i have friends all these people around yet i feel so alone,3.0
4469, lol well be who u are and be proud of it im sure ull make a fine bear ,0.0
4470,one of my biggest pet peeves breaking out bc of school stress,2.0
4471,pacifica an app for depression—highly recommend hey guys so every year around this time i slump into sad and i need help beyond my meds i use this app to make sure i do the bare minimum for caring for myself try it outthe free version has lots of good stuff ,3.0
4472,is it me or that ryan in brothers amp sisters looks like robert pattison  ,0.0
4473,motivation i have absolutely no motivation at all getting out of bed is the biggest chore i can usually muster up something to get to work but i cant shower i either barely eat or fucking gorge myself i cant do anything i get up right when i have to leave put on clothes and leave i come home immediately go to bed and stay there until work again ive gone over a week at a time without bathing as fucking disgusting as that is to admitwhen im not this in the dumps im absolutely manic to the point where i have to keep physically moving and cant ever sleep because of all of the energy ill clean my entire apartment want to go do things but am too anxious to actually do anything so i stay in feeling like im in a cage knowing full well that as soon as this is over im going to be back in the same boat its a never ending cycle its one or the other and absolutely no in betweenim an artist i feel like ive not only lost every ounce of creativity in my bones but my motivation to even grab my sketchbook and try i look at a blank piece of paper and just see nothing my dream career is to be a tattoo artist but i know full well that if i continue feeling this way that will never happen and that just makes me feel that much betteri cant help but feel like im way too far gone ive been on countless meds therapy etc since  i cant help but feel like im nothing but a hollow shell of a human being just masquerading like im okay when i dont have an ounce of personality left im scared that my so will leave me one day because im nowhere near the person i was when we got together im just hollow quite honestly if i were in his shoes i wouldnt want to be with me im a fucking train wreck and i feel like its about to fucking explodeafter a bunch of tests my psychologist told me it looks like i not only have depression but a social phobia bpd ocd and severe ptsd due to my childhoodat this point the only thing i have is overwhelming thoughts of suicide that keep getting worse and worse i genuinely wish i had a way out without hurting the people i love idk i just needed to vent i guess,3.0
4474,trying to come up with a middle name for our daughter  tyleretta has been ruled out ,2.0
4475,cant sleep for some reason ,2.0
4476,to me depression is a selfish person that wants you to stay with them and you do because its familiarits misery that loves company it doesnt want to be alone and its just easier for you to give into it than to fight it depression will keep you warm cuddle you and says dont go stay with me stay in bed where we can dream together depression is a little monster that i carry with me in my pocket everywhere i go there are the good days that im able to leave it and just forget it at home but i always come back to it how do i get rid of something thats always there and welcoming me with open arms ,3.0
4477,took the munchkin to the dr this morning he got  vaccines   now im at the dentist with his dad  ,2.0
4478,i got invited to a birthday party and i dont know what the fuck to do invited by a girl that i just met last week because we have a university project together i dont know if she thought of me or just spam invited everyone on her friends listi have been depressed for years i dont have any friends im just in my room all day idk what to do i kinda dont want to go because im too awkward and i think id be uncomfortable ive never been to a party before let alone someones house should i im confused,3.0
4479,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
4480,recovering from a lovely but slightly stressful weekend in france ,0.0
4481,mommytsunami no  i changed it to the standard dingdong ,0.0
4482,aninharosas just called me poor her is in a barbecue listening to pagode shes freaking out ,2.0
4483,i hate being sick and the fact that its almost the end of the school year ,2.0
4484,lokizilla hmm i wanted to access from work  so something that works through a browser is preferable free cant really install here ,2.0
4485,osojuiicy shut up lol i went before it poppin and its a varity of people lol but im not  yet so u know i cant go in yet ,2.0
4486,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,2.0
4487,i always thought i could make kingscot from my felted tweed knockoff grignasco tango dont think its the right gauge ,2.0
4488,terraforming oh yes finish it  and i love rainy rainy gloomy days ,0.0
4489,early nite  work  ,2.0
4490, summer has disappeares no summerfeeling in austria ,2.0
4491,  unfortunately we wouldnt be able to sit together to work on the project for a few days so there is a little delay ,2.0
4492,mmmgirl scout thin mint icecreamjust what i need after a bad day ,0.0
4493,the latter and the noose some thoughts after years of marijuana dependency in this war for my mind i cant remember much before it all startedbut i traded in my toolboxnatural ways to combat the storms of life  before even looking and appreciating its contents the clarity mary gave me the comfortit seemed like the answer i craved all along but it wasnt its then that my life became a rising noose with a latter this thing i gave all power and understanding to had turned into a omnipresent force of contemplation and misguidance  i lived off of the lie that this is the way but climbing had only made it worseeverything i needed was on the ground it was meso the voices the pain the regreti have to face this if i ever want claritymy fear of failing is miniscule compared to what ill face if i keep raging down this pathup this latter one day all of me will feel my neck and realize that its all in my head the thoughts im choking on for today ill start by taking a step down so much wonder about tomorrow but thats all it is,3.0
4494, imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath imisscath,2.0
4495,chillin with my man and stepkids ,0.0
4496,we need to talk is always such an intimidating phrase id much prefer it if ppl said something like we need to ,1.0
4497,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4498, thank gawd for that i was having a crisis there  wheres cab gone by the way,0.0
4499,marypiii aw well then welcome  haha,0.0
4500,  hey uwhats up glad u checked it out ,0.0
4501, owy mommy i got a booboo swimming last night ,2.0
4502,on the way to nottingham with emily ,0.0
4503,clivenh now you tell me will have hundreds soon  hang on a min will have to move the bikes unused jogging machine and flymo for chairs,2.0
4504,esbaby i know its no different than cloth dipes but i cant wrap my mind around it either just cant get myself to go there yet ,0.0
4505,pepper has lost the will to arguethank me sometime ,0.0
4506,selfharming for getting attention or depression  hey redditi think i am dealing with depression for about  or  years and its nothing crazy like wanting to kill myself but i dont mind getting hit by a car and die something like that i dont care about my health and all of this shits started because when i was  my father got into jail for being broke and we didnt have money to bring him back  before that my father had a very good and successful business but everything were destroyed like a fucking hurricane so after  years i really tried to get him out of there and i did itafter that everything just got worse for me i was a sad guy before that and i know it was for my fathers situation but after getting him out of jail there was nothing to worry about yes we didnt have money like before but that was not the issue  i feel insecure and everything has a gray tone for me  i like it in a way i feel i like to be sad and i dont know whylast year i went to a doctor and he gave me some pills like sertraline and other stuff he said you need therapy after using this pills for  or  months because when i get stressed my hands start to shake like hell even when i play games with my friends and i feel a little stress  so after  months of using those pills i felt some improvements in my shaking hands but the issue was i didnt have money to do the therapy and i went cold turkey and stopped taking those pills shit nightmares started again and i felt little shock waves from my head to toe for one or two weeks after stop taking them again i was the same person like before i kinda regret it now but fuck iti had a few relationships in last  years and my ex just got in touch with me last week and she said that she still loves me and she wants to help me but she wont reply quickly  she is online but she wont reply fast like i do and i feel insecure i feel like she is doing something behind my back it hurts i want somebody to take care of my fucking mind and she does this things and it makes me upset i clearly having trust issues hell i dont know  last night i punched the wall for few times and my hand still hurts but i dont want to hide it i want my friends to see it  i dont know why i do this things should i end my relationship with her  am i really depressed or i want attention  i feel alone at nights more than ever and i cant shut down my brain  thank you for reading this long ass boring story sorry for my bad english,3.0
4507,shower then back to bed so sick still ,2.0
4508,valiantrick at the mention of her family she goes still i dont know where they are we got separated in califo ,1.0
4509,dae impulsive choices during depressive states so for me depression is like a cycle where it has some predictability of when itll be strong weak or seemingly cured so by depressive state i mean when my depression is at full forceive noticed that im very vulnerable to making reckless decisions try to get a buzz when i feel a depressive state coming on its usually an unconscious action but over the past year ive gotten better at noticing when this is happening weird things ive tried have includedrunning away to vietnam to volunteer at a special needs orphanage for the rest of my life never fulfilled adopting a peacock never fulfilledsadly c getting a tattoo fulfilled used to regret it tons but now i can appreciate the story behind itsigning up for karate fulfilled not bad at all but i can tell im not as motivated as a student whos wanted this their whole lifedropping out of college running away to myanmar to volunteer at a refugee camp never fulfilledbuying a secondhand erhu chinese violin that i insist ill be able to teach myself its still in the mailjust wondering if this is a habit of anyone else its like trying to get a buzz off any dopamine i can squeeze out of my brain when im really struggling in the moment i feel like ive thought it through and that im being rational but once im out of the situation i can see how close ive coming to ruining my life im getting better at identifying when this is happening but i dont always catch myself,3.0
4510,biting the bullet transferring pagemethods into a webservice and using some jquery goodness ,0.0
4511,going home now empty handed ,2.0
4512,working on treating my resume for school ,2.0
4513,im committing suicide thank you all and to the creators of reddit for the endless amounts of entertainment for those that feel like reading this is for you ive been diagnosed with bipolar and suicidal ideation is an ongoing struggle making my life an emotional roller coaster i was admitted to five mental clinics over a three year period because of two suicide attempts and to receive proper medication for my diagnosis within these past three years i threw away my education and career because of political reasons after that my ex girlfriend assaulted me her actions devastated me and after the police arrived they did absolutely nothing i still have pictures of the bite mark and cuts after she tried punching biting and throwing glass at me its been a full year since my last suicide attempt and my life is still in shambles my mood swings and depression even though medicated are still very much ongoing i have recently finished my court mandated treatment and i dont want to be readmitted because im tired of being a trial and error subject for psychiatrists when trying to find the right medication ive gone through at least ten different antidepressants antipsychotics and mood stabilizers but they are all garbage because of the ineffectiveness of these medications ive decided to stop taking them all together in addition to my mood swings and lack of hope im tired of the emotional political burden that torments me every fucking day i wont go into detail because its irrelevant but i served in the military and have had enough ive tried therapy countless times for it but it always lingers in the back of my mind because its still a fact of reality that leaves me feeling insignificant and powerless anyways i already have a full proof plan for my next suicide attempt this is my final stand to end suffering thanks again to everyone i hope life treats you better than it treated me,3.0
4514,fwdmotion i love making bread makes the whole house smell like heaven ,0.0
4515,all my drafts got deleted i am so freakin sad wow,1.0
4516,ok yall im done now w the hov tomfoolery ,0.0
4517,im so tried dont want to sleep though need a girlfriend ,2.0
4518,girls at the office bought me my first ever chanel red lipstick for my birthday such happiness from one tubepower of a brand eh ,0.0
4519,technology and i are not a good mix today ,2.0
4520,back  the office the weather is too good to be sitting indoors ,2.0
4521,taramcc thanks mrs mcc  apparently we dont get today off because we dont work in a bank ,2.0
4522,mattdempseycom thankfully boots were doing a buy two get the third item free on suncream and after sun lmao think i need it ,2.0
4523, yea im trying to hang in there but i think i have to stay until  ,2.0
4524,i am about to take  tylenol will that do the trick im done,3.0
4525,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4526,and i totally forgot the jonas first ep today on disney channel ill have to wait till next monday now ,2.0
4527,morningporch never have i read such lyrical eloquence about the irritating mosquito  the rain was esp nicecould hear and feel it,0.0
4528,help no matter how hard i try i feel like stability can never last for ever i feel that even when im feeling ok the anxiety of getting bad again is just in the back of my mind i feel like ill never truly be happy and that it will never truly end just feel like i will be in this constant state of feeling depressed and never be ok with how my life is,3.0
4529,basiaa sucker im not going ,0.0
4530,im asking  one thing  i go to  win a game of dynomite is that  much hows about making my face normal again too ,0.0
4531,oliviamunn fantastic job on loveline  too many great lines but i think my favorite was quoti just dropped an egg right nowquot ,0.0
4532,can someone please tell me that they care about me you dont even have to mean it i just want someone to please say it please,3.0
4533,not looking forward to work or waking up   goodnight world  i wish i didnt have to say good morning in a few hours  sad day  ,2.0
4534,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
4535,second chance  shinedown  off to the simmosn work   but then blskes party ,0.0
4536,bgallagher thanks brett hope aucklands treating you fine ,0.0
4537,its  in the lovely albany what time is it over there guys love to here from you ,0.0
4538,going to enjoy this sat ,0.0
4539,everytime i have to study i wish i wouldnt have to go to work its such a hassle ,2.0
4540,i am not studying chinese   ,0.0
4541,i think the  lost week is just an error correction for the supposed  gained last wee but its still a net  loss ,0.0
4542,today was different in stark contrast to every weekend for the past two months i woke up from another shitty sleep at  and drank  cups of coffee instead of  beers or  shots of whiskeyi cracked the shits at my inability to achieve my basic domestic goals and went full heman mode into washing dishes vacuuming floors doing laundry and then mowed the whole yard and cleaned out the garage by  scrubbed the toilet sorted through a bunch of tools and unclogged the plughole in the shower it took a whole day but i think ive started something by channelling all the selfloathing and anger into a just fucking do it state i now have a whole day free tomorrow to lounge around in a clean house without the usual fear of having to explain on monday why i was feeling sick or out of town for not having my shit together sorry to rant but its a big thing for me and i want to keep it up,3.0
4543,sethsullivan when does it come out where you live ,0.0
4544,facebook is playing up ,2.0
4545,  with my dog ,0.0
4546,tummy is growling tired and my hair is still rolled in a bun cuz im running behind ,2.0
4547,quotmileycyrusquotyou are the best i love you  can you give me your emaili want to write with you but i cant ,2.0
4548,morning just wakin up with coffee and a yogurt ,0.0
4549,and the ever so cool megan lost her phone  i am hoping i can find it i feel naked,2.0
4550,im totally shocked about whats happening in iran  its just sad what they are doing to innocent people who are trying to express themself,2.0
4551,my cousin graduated im super proud ,0.0
4552,suffocating in a sea of people that can breathe i remember an acquaintance of mine had depression something that i wasnt too sure if i had but im just remembering what she posted on her social media at that time  having depression is like being trapped underwater downing suffocating while everyone else is breathing i guess now that i think back to it i kinda can understand it its like looking and seeing how everyone else is able to carry on comfortably with their lives while youre stuck where you are not knowing where to go or how to go on even with a goal in mind i just wanted to post to get my mind off things and maybe just let yall know about this if any of you kind souls could whove managed to somehow deal with it maybe you could hit me up to offer some advice ill do my best to respond if im feeling up to it so sorry in advance i may reply late or not at all i just really need some help with this issue i dont know what to do about this anymore,3.0
4553,weight gain related to depression ive been on and off antidepressants for many years and have taken lexapro seroquel mirtazapine viibryd bupropion and am now on zoloft for ppdppa my first go round with lexapro was fantastic minimum dose i felt amazing i was working out all the time and eating well and actually lost weight i went off the meds partially due to sexual side effects  quality of life plus i didnt think i needed to be on needs long term just to get regulated and then just continue with therapythen shitty relationship my ptsd kicked in and of course depression and anxietyi started gaining weight while i was still in the relationship this has been going on for years  up to a couple pounds a week during this time i had various lifestyles on meds not on meds biking up to  miles a day a couple times a week keeping active other days tracking my calories binge eating has been issue for me but not constantly sometimes i did a load of nothing except stress about work at best i sustained my weight ive had my cortisol and hormones checked the former in range but high the latter in range but lowi was on a meds journey and depressed off and on throughout the six years or so i didnt want to go back on lexapro because of the side effects so they started trying different meds for me so now im sixty pounds heavier the only times ive lost weight were right after i had my kid the pounds dropped off and when i was recently on antibiotics i feel like the weight issue is related to depression somehow it doesnt seem related the meds but i dont know im terrified ill never be a healthy weight again anyone have any insight or resources,3.0
4554,cant help listening to ashleys song  loveee ashleytisdale  ,0.0
4555,i have a splitting headache and no asprin boo ,2.0
4556, im going to see it to ,0.0
4557,dropped out of college due to deppression i recently dropped out of college due to deppression suicidal thoughts etc im diagnosed with bpd if anyone else who dropped out of college how do you get back up again  i mean i cant spend all the time hiding away in my room and my parents are on my back on wasted money and opportunities ,3.0
4558,strawberry slush  fast  furious w daniel some sweet cars   ,0.0
4559,beautiful day in la sunny and breezy  elisa,0.0
4560,its  am already up with a really bad headache  anyone would think i was the one drinking ,2.0
4561,phunybuny its good shit man and if for some reason you were like what the fuuuuck is this all the dudes in it are hot at least pahaha ,0.0
4562,i want somebody to know but i also dont want them to know ive been thinking about suicide for the past  years ive always had this plan to make everyone that cares about me to hatestop caring about me so then they wont get hurt or they will forget about me when i go through with it if my life still has no meaning and i feel like life is just pointless by the time im  im  rn im gunna end it all and today i completed the first step i got my last friend to hate me today i have no more friends im gunna wait another year or two to see if im going to cut all of my family members out of my life too but the only reason why i typed all this out in the first place is because i just feel like i want somebody to know but i dont want anybody to know so thats why im doing it to complete strangers,3.0
4563,harping on me to get more work done and then put my progress into a spreadsheet is only taking up more time and makes me more behind ,2.0
4564,my alarm didnt go off so i ended up being waken at  by my step dad instead of at  by my alarm ,2.0
4565,ok need to pay more attention to where im applying per request lifestyle typeit wont work if youre not applying to controllers ,2.0
4566,sadness never ends for most of my  iv  always had somebody to call my own not necessarily the same person but there was always somebody there everytime someone leaves my depression and anxiety get worse for the next person no one takes me seriously because if never been diagnosed no insurance when i didnt have somebody i had friends and people i could lean on but over the last year ive lost everybody either due to my actions or their own everyone around me  is so fake and just want to use people for a ride or to smoke or borrow    ive had a handful of men come into my life and promise me forever one even purposed  apparently forever means no more than  years after spending the last  months trying to make it work with someone who promised forevermore convincing than anyone before loves me so much but they cant be with me anymore because of the pain they caused me if i didnt have my mom i would have already spiraled down a deep hole and hopefully never come out i dont start work for another two weeks so i sit here everyday alone no one texts me no one messages me no one cares im not perfect and i dont expect the world but i care and love deeply and i make sure i show it regularly but i guess i have my own problems are too much for them i dont need a man to be happy but i just want to feel important to someone in this world im a nice  genuine thoughtful social butterfly  who just wants to make other people happy and help them anyway i can  i cant remember the last time someone really cared abput what i was going through other than my mom sometimes shes not as much help as she thinks but thats how moms are i have friends and by friends i mean guys that will talk to me cuz they think they can get in my pants not bout that at all a lot to say with no one to genuinely listen the struggle is getting to much for me to deal with i had to let it out somewhere  thanks for taking the time to read,3.0
4567,feeling shit sorry for the rant in shit english hope you can understand itim  dont live with my parents anymore the past  months i started feeling depressed again i wanted to talk about it with my parents but when i finally almost had the courage to do so my parents were not doing so well either due to my grandmother not being okay so i didnt bring it up i have some close friends but i just couldnt find the courage to talk about it with them i helped my friends with a lot of things the past few weeks so some of them asked me to go out with them this night i rejected their inv due to my social anxiety i said i was not feeling comfortable meeting new people i would have expected them to at least convince me to come instead of saying kay i feel let down and am lying in bed rn thinking about nobody understanding me and the depression i havent dealt with from the past months,3.0
4568,cheesecake factory was great have not had stuffed mushrooms in forever amp they have awesome ones there had no dessert tho ,2.0
4569,trevieness no ,2.0
4570,wbo champ jeff horn to speak at xavier foundation dinner august  to raise much needed funds for icaniwill to pr ,0.0
4571,stuck in a moment half awake half asleep hey guys june of  i got depression over night i still remember waking up and feeling like my existence had shifted since then i got over it after months of therapy and medication then one year later summer of  i relapsed until now where i am still struggling i just cant stop thinking of how i was before june of  and just seeing myself as a different person altogether before and after all this started i just want to feel naively content not even happy just content about life because no one is always happy but even during bad days before depression you were still you not a altered semi version of yourself like depression makes you feel just felt the need to write this of my chest wish you all good luck and fortune,3.0
4572,nicolexhey i hate too school ,2.0
4573,smartbitches fyiwhen inquired about bhb at local library today they immediately knew about the bookand you ,0.0
4574,i feel so useless more useless than a piece of shit hey redditors i just wanted to share my feelings  so i decided to post here i feel like a filthy piece of shit basically from shit people make fertilizer so i am more useless than a piece of shit i feel that i cant eat  some days now basically i do not eat nearly nothing  i cant clean my room  at least i make my bed i am just siting in front of my screen  playing video games just this i cant sleep at night  now that cause of that pandemic we are banned to go out of our house so i cant even smoke some weed to relaxps in case you worry i am not suicidal just too depressive,3.0
4575,shelkedoc hes fine sometimes he likes to surprise me by showing up on time  tucks shirt in to really freak me hnh ♥,0.0
4576,ok im so out of place at the mantra restaurant i stick out like a bogan at an art gallery dont help me twittering in here ,0.0
4577,i just ate so much cantalope wow bad idea on sarahs part now i have the hiccups amp my stomach is bulging ,2.0
4578, awww i gots no food  need to go shopping mmm orange juice just get back into bed be lazy haha,2.0
4579,cheating is the most annoying and disturbing thought it scares me alot i dont want anybody to cheat on me ,2.0
4580,my sadness keeps getting worse i just woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my problems in life like how am i gonna make it through i have a decent job but everytime i calculate my salarysavings i know its not enough for me to start a good life i cant go back to sleep and i feel the weight of the pressure of these thoughts on how can i pull through with my career etc sorry i sound like a special snowflake but i just want to get it off my chest and i feel like sadness is eating me day by day ,3.0
4581,they dont know that they dont need to focus on your mental health before transitioning bc not being able to physi ,1.0
4582,gracemonzel oh okay hehe thanks ,0.0
4583,im sinking by the centimeter no matter how hard i try i need my job i seriously need my job i support my mother and i have massive debt all the way back decades from supporting my family after my parents divorced i just screwed up royally at work millions of dollars i exhaust myself trying to keep up with the workload i have such a hard time focusing for even moderate amounts of time and i cant juggle more than one or two work items at a time its the nature of the job to juggle a dozen things a day and deal with angry customers but i feel like i fall behind a little bit every week and now im up to my nose in work that i need to catch up on the fear of losing my job and having that affect the quality of life for my loved ones terrifies me my family doesnt believe or understand depression they think that im just not doing the right things or doing them the right way and always have advice that they bring up later if i dont follow it i had a very bad experience with my previous position with this company and was told to keep my depression a secret from my coworkers in my new position im so tired and so angry with myself right now i feel completely trapped thanks for reading i just needed to get my feelings out for someone to know about ,3.0
4584,depression manifesting into something worse my depression has basically turned into anorexia i think i deserve it,3.0
4585,cant wait to get my laptop  and to go up north and be in the sun all day on the beach,0.0
4586,jawilson thanks but i dont ever want to live in nv or ky ,2.0
4587,i think i reached my breaking point and i felt the need to vent   all i did the first time i got rid of depression was to improve myself and get back to my old full of love for everything self at this point i either felt bad or had depression for most of my life for a year or so i was neutral towards everything every problem i had started thanks to school the problems arisen from school affected most areas of my life its a vicious cycle im sure lots of people can relate to that here people were bullies even from first grade i was the most bullied one just because i couldnt make myself hurt other people back i always told myself how they have their problems too on top of me being unable to harm the smallest bug or think any evil i literally had everything people could make fun of from being really emotional to being the boy with the most feminine traits and the highest pitched voice i already have forgiven everyone from first grade to eighth grade when that stopped i also never really had friends outside of school apart from a couple years at this point ive had no irl friends for like  years the people im in class with i do not like they know that too and they dont want me around either probably i never met someone i really cared about until now all these wonderful people i met online like  years ago i managed to enter that neutral state i managed to turn back to my old self after being hateful to some extent for years i didnt get my emotions back though really im still mainly emotional numb there was something that i discovered in me that slightly awoke my emotions the thing is i cant just feed off that pool of positive energy and truth about myself i dont want to mention it for the world to see so ill let you in the dark about what i found within myself now that im done talking about myself and my experienced i want to talk about passions i liked art as a kid and my imagination was and still is really vivid thats one of the few things that give me joy i can be true to myself there i just need to imagine scenarios i didnt draw super often as a wee lad but i still liked it and it made me happy i was super trash then though and i still suck since kids dont question anything until thrown in the lions cage they have fun doing what they love and being themselves my paintings in school were always laughed at by fourth grade i gave up on art entirely before someone rekindled my passion for it i even forgot i drew art in all its forms means the world to me i had so many bookcharactergame ideas i could ve written or drawn but i always was too afraid to all i did was imagine them in my head further i picked drawing up like  years ago i literally started from stickmen i was at the level of a kindergarten kid even now there are plenty of absolute beginners better than me i always try not to have negative thoughts and it mainly worked it didnt work for art im so fucking jealous of those people here i am with  years on my belt and i m worse than some absolute beginners the first  years were  an emotional war i almost never drew and when i did i just started crying because everything was so bad even now just talking about this i cried a fuck ton and everytime i see someone saying if it doesnt make you happy its not for you i just fucking get pissed who are you to tell people what is right for them me crying over my drawings still continued but it is much better now maybe i wouldnt have been so sad if i at least could understand stuff quicker i didnt draw much nor read and try to understand it daily but i spent close to  weeks trying to understand basic perspective at some point in the first  years someone tried to help me understand how to draw stuff in that  perspective it took me like  hours to understand that worst but best of all is how in the past couple months i intuitively got like  comic ideas i got one out since it was meh but i still remain with  one of which i really care about i dont know much about writing since i didn t try it much but i still couldve written basic ideas down my anxiety keeps me away from even that if i forget these too i dont know what im going to do my breaking point was after winter break every break i discover something new about myself and improve myself further this time i started disliking so much about the world i cant take it anymore it affected what i do at home too i feel as if nobody i met irl has the same perspective on life as me i got rid of excessive shyness a couple years agoi think but its too late to forge any friendships now even if i wanted to people got used to me being what i was i put work in just to not be acknowledged in any way i mainly wanted to vent if anyone has some advice regarding drawing they can throw at me do throw it i also forgot to mention how im still not consistent with drawing thanks for reading this i didnt want to put my negativity out too but i had to the post probably is a mess since i cried a lot and i couldnt concentrate well i hope the post conveyed everything i wanted to say,3.0
4588,jaredlunde the quothorny kittyquot stopped following me ,2.0
4589, lmao you were always a jerk to me ,2.0
4590,im so tired ,2.0
4591,good morning ,0.0
4592,remembermeninab i miss u  see mesee me neega,2.0
4593,simonesmalls i feel you on that one need a chiil moment ,0.0
4594,watching greys anatomy finale omg ,2.0
4595,rt jocyykins back on twitter cuz im sad,0.0
4596,what time is it summertime its our vacation  yeah    day,0.0
4597,two back to back shots of tequila at work and im drunkity drunk ,0.0
4598,this is so sadcan we die,2.0
4599,thelittlespook oooh i cant even listen anyway ,2.0
4600,rt donaldjthompson his behavior is shameful and sad beyond belief he shames us in front of allies and enemies he shames us at home and,2.0
4601,silenceissexy hee wel effe gasolinebrother goed spellen he ,0.0
4602,do antidepressants work and what are the side effects hi guys im considering taking antidepressants to manage my depression its gotten to the point where i can barely manage everyday tasks but the thing thats holding me back is that i have good days and bad ones on the good days its manageable but on the bad ones which are about  of the time i can barely function im seeing a psychologist but im wondering if meds would help me with the bad ones because i really cant bear any more of themalso what kind of side effects do the most common antidepressants have and if so how severe are they and are they manageablethanks a lot for your help i really appreciate it,3.0
4603, awww snap welp on to new horizons ,0.0
4604,cathylando i thought adam was gonna win but i was glad kris did though  i loved both of the guys so it was ok with me haha,0.0
4605,watching le petit prince ,0.0
4606,is wishhinn she got wayy more done todayy than she actually did ,2.0
4607,elizabethmarley only slightly but im biased because i feel danse macabre is their best work ,0.0
4608,cant sleeep i hmm in a few hours six flagss wooot  and tomorrow mexico ,2.0
4609,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
4610,sittin in yatescakes room no knockage   where for art thoucan sombody tell me how to gethow to get to sesame  streeeeeet lol,2.0
4611,sabrepulse both belgium shows in july and manc  im in serious need of some gig action aww get your lady friend to make u feel better x,0.0
4612,garry is saying that experiences we have gone through can be used by god to show quotthe abundance of encouragementquot firstchurch ,0.0
4613,bad news i cant install dot net framework  with wine  wine ubuntu,2.0
4614,dont use crisis lines ive used crisis lines in the past and present the counselors ask you too many questions about your day and how you deal with it in the past not the present they take too long to answer they are short staffed you might get the same counselor if you dont like the previous one they give out bad instructionsadvice sometimes they cant help with a certain subject dont use it if you are suicidal call  if you or someone is suicidal or homicidal,3.0
4615,weddingdaze have fun could you let me know if its a good one im thinking a going further afield in my marketing at wedding fayres ,0.0
4616,when i grow up i want to be a famouse singer but i dount think i will ,2.0
4617,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
4618,amandapursell sorry bout your luck ,2.0
4619,my nose is stuffy ,2.0
4620,paramoreband yeah twilight better win everything ,0.0
4621,today i discovered i could possibly suffer from depression™️ as well i just never have energy im tired all the day i feel emotionless i feel empty i lost interest on a lot of things and ive been going though a lot of confusion i dont even know how fucked up my mental health is i was diagnosed with adhd asd and anxiety but now i think i could possibly have depression as well and i dont really feel sad most of the time i just feel like a zombie although i occasionally do feel sad i occasionally feel happy but i still have no energyi dont even know how many disorders i have im really really confused i dont know whats going on with myself ive felt like this for a lot of time and i really experienced any traumatic event nor i suffer from violence or anything like that although ive been stressed a lot because of schoolaaaaargghhhh i dont eveeeen knoooow whaaats gooooinng oonn wiiiithhh meee will depression last forever,3.0
4622,justmean i been hungry havent eaten all day  ,2.0
4623, our followers canwhy do u askoh oops i didnt know you knew her  i thought she was one of those random people,2.0
4624,xseniz thats like yassy for yasemin ,0.0
4625,enjoying a night of beading made a few necklaces ,0.0
4626,schindlers list with my parents thanks virginia ,0.0
4627,sooo im  n im just now findin out i have asthma ,2.0
4628,courtneywallace im sorry  ill visit you as soon as i can get a ride to bluffton so at least therell be some robin n court hang time,2.0
4629,tracecyrus what about londons sheperds bush empire on july  im going to that dude  is lil sis there too ,0.0
4630,i am sad my camera is not working ,2.0
4631,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
4632,listening to aboveampbeyond  trance around the world and setting up a freenas and ubuntu host on my esxi server geeeeeeeeeeeeeek ,0.0
4633,bubcat send one over they sound cool take pics ,0.0
4634,just finished giving a great color inspiration presentation at sherwin williams  it was awesome  enjoying the rest of this sunny day ,0.0
4635,dailyecho gosport ferry is still cheaper than hythe ferry  does it offer any student discount,0.0
4636,social distancing along with this entire pandemic is making me feel more isolated than usual and hopeless i have a feeling that this current pandemic is ruining me mentally im stuck in my house all day with nothing to do i dont feel like i can talk to anyone about an ongoing crisis were all going through i feel like my country usa is doing absolutely nothing to help people during this crisis and cant go out to see my family and friends with out the risk of getting infectedgetting others infected dont worry i am fully aware about the benefits of social distancing and do not intend to go out for anything other than necessities the problem i have is how do i cope with confinement and isolation and what do i do if i or anyone i love catches  im scared and i just feel hopeless,3.0
4637,now my x or awesome is broken too ,2.0
4638,relaxin after my run ,0.0
4639,o ye weather godshave some mercy ,2.0
4640, michelle leann if your readin this i love u and your the bomb  httptinyurlcomocwtoj,0.0
4641,im stuck dreaming you ever feel like your stuck wishing for good to happen to you i want to go back home i decided to move to be happier it made things worse i miss home i miss my family im not the loud type but i have anger deep in my heart yet i stay calm in hopes to find my own peace i keep fighting with the people i live with i just want to feel love and peace why does hatred and anger follow me i want to go home and see my moms smile i want to see the night sky without these city lightsi want see the mountains and not see a building every block im falling into depressioni havent eaten all dayi sleep all morningi want happinessi miss home,3.0
4642,spiritofburgas and who is the third headlinerrrrrr ,0.0
4643,sitting here watching spiderman on tbs  im new to twittter  help me outtt,0.0
4644,mjacobson yup  my damn weather radio has been chirping all night ,2.0
4645,allieandra ok  prepares to resume shouting if still unchanged by tomorrow,0.0
4646,ha i am using google maps to plot the number of miles i need to runwalk near my apt ,0.0
4647,pretty sure i was just forgotten stood up whatever you want to call it fml ,2.0
4648,how is everyone coping with  isolation i am normally a semifunctional depressed person but the isolation monotony and media updates are really starting to break me down and affect my performance at work and mood i live alone and have little contact with others at work as well has anyone found something to help keep themselves functionalproductive while alone,3.0
4649,uncertain i would like to die but im scared of the repercussions more specifically i have to attend a birthday party and a gathering to say goodbye to a friend who will be moving in the next few days and i dont want to ruin their celebrations,3.0
4650,fleurdeleigh your looking at it right now  ,0.0
4651,recording an acoustic track for you sexy kids ,0.0
4652,tonight big parties for new salvadoran prez funes inaugurationbut drat cant find a good unbiased article to post in english ,2.0
4653,plane to london stuck in taxi mode for another hour due to weather ,2.0
4654,missangelyss do that dance ,0.0
4655,nelley u poor baby i wish i could help u ,2.0
4656,i am absolutely terrified of having to figure out who the hell i am outside of my depression,1.0
4657,ive tried mostly everything i dont know how to get better i exercise daily for over an hour i eat good food i get up at a consistent time ive been going to sleep at a consistent time yet im still mentally fucked i really wonder how the hell im supposed to get out of this hole ive found myself in itll probably be with a noose,3.0
4658,rt  yall be so sad when a famous person rants or says they depressed but yall friends be going through shit and yall do,1.0
4659,i want i want to go far very far away the farthest i can go people are stopping me though i can start walking right now i wont go far i cant because people will stop me no one who cares about me will stop me from going i wont stop me strangers will stop me i can go right now i dont have the time time is expensive too expensive for me im scared maybe i wont go away i will probably sit in my apartment for the next few years in those years i will make a plan i dont want to be here i want to be somewhere else i want new friends in another county i will make a plan now and then i will go on adventure,3.0
4660,i cant fall asleep this sucks ,2.0
4661,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
4662,not a good night for hockey or basketball in my house ,2.0
4663, i want to stay ,2.0
4664,brianteeman confirmed what blueflameit said comment plugin again doa ,2.0
4665,ablegamers keep your chin up man stay strong ,2.0
4666,so sad im missing the brocantes in my hood ,2.0
4667, great got to do a fake presentation on explaining how an operating system can be viewed as an event driven application i dont get it s,2.0
4668,i just mademyself extremely sad goodnight,1.0
4669,rt wasmine i feel sad for people who dont have good relationships with their moms because my momma my bestfriend and i couldnt imagine,1.0
4670,watching quotnayi cisquot and after that quothe menalistquot ,0.0
4671,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
4672,me httpstcoscupxfsser,1.0
4673,omg angie you are right it has been  years i suddenly feel so old  i was  and thought he was cute only to discover he was just  ,2.0
4674,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
4675,if youve never suffered from depression its hard to understandits impact on my marriage  via harpersbazaarus,2.0
4676,is disappointed ,2.0
4677,is this nonsense forever hey yall this is my first time posting and i just made an account for this specific post hope im in the right placei have struggled with severe depression for five years now with no periods of relief it runs in my family and seemed to be triggered by the sudden death of my motheri have tried so much so many meds and combinations ive lost count typical and atypical never with any success at all palmed off by four therapists because it seems to be physically impossible for me to really open upits the worst at night when im kept up by anxiety and just cry for hours from the depression dream team im always so tired im always so sad im always scared if this is what my life will continue to be like i truly do not want to stick around ive been strong for a long time but im reaching my breaking pointi dont really even know what im asking maybe for others with the same experience to chime in i want to know if this is what my life will always be if theres something im missing or havent tried i dont know im just becoming desperatei have a few close family members a couple close friends and a wonderful boyfriend i function at my job im just not happy and after five years of this im starting to fear and believe that i never will be the thought of suicide is a bit scary to me and its always a rather unwelcome intrusive thought lately though it seems like my only option to get out of this i dont want to and i dont want to hurt anyone i care about i just dont know im so tired,3.0
4678,shailmohan hmm well creepie suzie and mojo jomo but u probably arent anyway so hi wassup ,0.0
4679,onepinksheep thanks ,0.0
4680,jumonsmapes send it my way and i can send it out ,0.0
4681,vuhnessuh i think the smartpunk one might be out of bracelets and posters ,2.0
4682,and so it is leaving home on a holiday again ,2.0
4683,is this it i made this account  years ago i remember i felt like i was at the endnothing has in my life changed since and i never got betterive worked so fucking hard in the past despite nearly killing myself on multiple occasions despite my intermittent alcoholism despite sometimes becoming a hermit and doing nothing but work and sleep for weeks on end without contacting anyone despite having to hide the cuts on my arms for several months in my final year at uni despite eating like shit so i could afford to pay my rent despite being laughed at by my roommates for all of last year for being a virgin despite masking my disdain when nobody notices the fact im talking despite the fact that my own classmates forgot who i was over a single summeri did it all for nothingi watched every single one of my dreams turn to ash but the failure remainstheres no getting my time back theres no getting better i slipped through the cracks and nobody noticedthis is it isnt it this is my life now and foreverfuck,3.0
4684,wokeupinrayn wow he is sooo cute ,0.0
4685,does anyone experience extreme head pressure with their depression or caused by withdrawal from antidepressants what does it feel like for you,3.0
4686,scores being added winners announced shortly my average was  tonight bit lower then usual ,2.0
4687,trey songz i have been asking where youve been for so long and if this is what you were wasting your time i am ve ,2.0
4688,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
4689,almost lunch very hungry ,0.0
4690,theellenshow yeah no thanks  if you do go skydiving wher make sure she goes out  imagine that voice being the last u hear ,2.0
4691,i dont hate myself i just hate living people think that depression is all about low self esteem and wanting to die because you feel worthless thats not how i feel today i love myself very much i just happen to hate living life is so predictable and right now im stuck in a cycle that i cant escape i go to work at a job i hate and barely survive only to land a great job that i either get fired from or get bulliedoverwhelmed to the point of quitting im always so close to getting myself together only to have to start all over again lather rinse repeatim  i live with my parents and my best friend im unemployed and in desperate need of another one of those jobs i hate but hey i need money in order to survive right now i just want a car i want to go back to school i dropped out twice without any credits im so bored so tired of trying over and over i just want to be done i wish i had the courage and strength needed to kill myself depression is all i have to look foward to the point where i just no longer care about getting out of bed or looking presentable i cant wait to not care anymore ,3.0
4692,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
4693,hameggncheese english muffin from dunkin donuts sucked this morningall since they changed the usual crew  no coincidence sadly ,2.0
4694,gamerztech ill have to send you those screen shots later i cant access gmail online amp the iphone lacks copy amp paste ,2.0
4695,a little boy put his dog down the toilet awww he only wanted to give him a wash  awww,2.0
4696,aishaquandt thanks ma lets celebrate libre mo ko ,0.0
4697,ricraftis thanksguess im getting dumber amp dumber if it had been a snakeit would have bitten me ,0.0
4698,chrisspooner im not sure where youd go but crucial has always been top stuff for me  admittedly in the past i used pcs ,2.0
4699,depression  it takes the best of you and leaves the worst behind your never seen as the good person you truely are,0.0
4700,cherrytreerec martin give me a last opportunityplz honey  dont be a badbum heheplz last  everplzi,2.0
4701,bible verses about worry and anxiety ,1.0
4702,  im ready attacked by kiss monster ,0.0
4703,jlallanes twicescoaster riseseokjn soompi but there are sasaengs so yea harsh stuff i hope no one gets serio ,1.0
4704,finished all  crosswords from paper with dr at work put two dogs to sleep  abscessed mouth cancer  mast cell tumor   no surgeries,2.0
4705,cookies are close to done  yum ,0.0
4706,prefer calm sunday bells amp birds to the crude obnoxious rap quotmusicquot that woke me at  am  ,2.0
4707,forget kogis  dining at the shorehouse cafe in lbc with leamellani jamesearl francisdecastro feenieweenie amp jayrawrme ,0.0
4708,depression doesnt just come and go its debilitating and consumes your daily life dont be sorry for needing to tell someone that,2.0
4709,finally have a plan to get better and im sticking to it i just wanted to tell someone but i saw the doctors the last  days and they told me i needed to go back on medication they had taken me off the medication in august i picked up my pills last night and have already started treatment i have appointments booked to see them in a month again for a check up to see if its working or needs tweaking i finally feel proud of myself ,3.0
4710,the new friday night i watched the sun leave from my room while the night flooded in i didnt turn a light on for hours i took breaks from my phone to wrap my arms around my legs to remember what it felt like to be held i cried and would gasp for air i felt this immense amount of weight on my chest i use to be told i take the air out of the room now the room is taking the air out of me,3.0
4711,ben folds posted photos he took recently and i cant even view it  oh well back to using my mobile internet,2.0
4712,josh has a bad fever  taking care of him,2.0
4713,time for second breakfast ,0.0
4714,lee chipped in his wisdom saying we should stop talking so much and keep looking for the fourleaf clover before it was home time ,0.0
4715,today is a good day ,0.0
4716,drrandpink yes it is so much better it is hard to communicate to people when they do not communicate back  ,2.0
4717,this quarantine is making my depression so much worse does anyone else feel like their loneliness is being highlighted by this quarantine its made me feel so much worse and so much more alone i feel like people who i thought would be there for me arent there for me,3.0
4718,i want to seek help but im scared i havent been diagnosed with depression but i know i have it  i dont have a great memory but every now and then i always have a flashback to my childhood that are negative and it gets me into a deep rabbit hole of darkness and the thing is  i dont even know myself if these are true events  that happened i just think and think and it feels real but i truly dont remember any of it i want to seek help and talk about it but dont want to risk losing my job i dont know what to do i feel very down,3.0
4719,attention single people of arizona check out our promo  ,0.0
4720,let me take it back please ,2.0
4721,biffadave goodi went to a fair and got an airbrush tattoo my mom wasnt very happy  but its temporary,0.0
4722,cubanalust haha i dont doubt it i can only imagine now lotta heads turninactually neck breakin ,0.0
4723,what a sad and shitty ending to medium ,2.0
4724,theprincessh me too  oh curse the crack of dawn alarm call though ,2.0
4725,judgedonnelly and you live to die another day its all any of us can hope for really   see you in court,0.0
4726,im losing hope day by day to live my life im back i want to die but i have hope but the hope i have is diminishing as each day passes i feel like i am really useless you knowlike im a fucking waste of space im so useless lmaoim a male  years of age in october i come from a middle class family and i still live with my parents im doing a degree i hate because i dont know what the fuck to do im the youngest in my family and my older sister is better than me im a short  scrawny fuck whos ugly im not that smart i barely pass my exams and i have only   friend because im a socially awkward introverted nerd who binge watch youtube  and to top it all offi experience racism quite often because im an indian so people would always avoid or make fun of meyou know the good ol bobs vagan or rape jokes oh yeahthe cherry on the cake is that my own mom and sister would always make fun of my skin colour i love my mom shes done alot for me but i hate her indian boomer thinking shed say i would look more handsome if i was fairerand my sister whos well fucking educated would make fun of that my mom would also blame me for being too short shes like  and my dads like  in all my life ive experienced more bad experiences than good experiences i have nothing good for me in this lifebut i always have hope that itd be better as the day weeks and months passes im starting to realise the hope i have for a good future is a fucking jokedo you know that feeling where you study so hard for an exam only to barely pass while your friends get fucking asdo you know that feeling where you have  friend who you consider as your best friend but he doesnt sees you as onedo you know the feeling of getting rejected by girls because youre way too fucking short or ugly to date themdo you know the feeling where society will either hate you or fear you because youre a certain racedo you know the feeling when your own family makes fun of youdo you know the feeling where you keep trying and trying and trying but youve barely moved an inchyou know i fucking try so hard i try my best i try my best but my best is fucking shiti feel like im not good enough for anything i dont excel in anything i don no matter how hard or how long i try everytime i try its the same outcome useless i just dont know what to do anymoreif anyone is reading what do i do i feel like jumping off a building its come to that point where the only peace i can get is to kill myself,3.0
4727,sad amp stressed  ima get a margarita 🤷🏾‍♀️,0.0
4728, aww its alright they are worth waiting to see ,0.0
4729,your my wonderwall ,0.0
4730,nvzmell wey yo intenté hacer una puta sandía y me salió toda deforme qué sad,2.0
4731,watching south park ,0.0
4732,i started therapy again today ive promised myself i will always put my needs and mental health first,3.0
4733,my depressed friend is taking my energy away hello i am in high school and have been chatting online with one of my classmates for a few months now at first i want to say i dont have depression i dont understand whats it like to have depression so a few months ago he started retweeting depressed tweets on twitter obviously  i of course asked if something was wrong it started getting worse i offered him to visit a therapist many times we have free insurance but he just doesnt want to get help he is just so lost and i dont know what to do we are just teens i am overwhelmed with this he always complains how he is depressed and sometimes it makes me feel sad to again i dont have depression but sometimes i lay awake for hours when i try to sleep cuz i dont know what to do  i am so selfish for saying this but i dont want to deal with his suicidal stuff anymore i tried to convince him so many times not to do it i cried and i feel so tired of dealing with all of this its going on for months now i just want to go on with my life and see my friend not that sad again today it was the last straw he told me that he will make a list with pro and contra arguments to see if its convincing to kill himself he wants to jump infront of a train we have a train station near our school i want to talk to an adult but he told me if i did horrible things will happen he even posted on twitter that he wants to kill himself i will report thisid be so glad if somebody could tell me what to do i am just a kid i dont have power,3.0
4734,omidhabibinia im sorry to hear that  i hope she turns up ok ,2.0
4735,skinnermike are you around at all in june its birmingham music month would be awesome if you got involved ,0.0
4736,fethiye yolculuu yordu beni ,2.0
4737, my mummy amp daddy were coming on the trip with us but my nan passed away not long ago amp my mum isnt up to it at the moment ,2.0
4738,therealshaq  i couldnt watch that ,2.0
4739,i thought it was too good to be true ,2.0
4740,britains got talent is over im all out of ridiculous shows to watch ,2.0
4741,idk why i thought watching simply complicated before bed would be a good idea now im sad and cant sleep good ,1.0
4742,lisaveronica the fans think i have some kinda magic to get you to reply to them  please reply to them ,0.0
4743,rt gcftexts im really heart broken and devastated and i know we are all sad but please do not trend anything sensor his name give hi,1.0
4744,billyraycyrus take care mrcyrus have a safe trip ,0.0
4745,i didnt think id live this long and i dont know what to do ive suffered with depression for  years and i used to just harm myself in any way i could i expected to kill myself but i didnt want to be selfish and i was scared in case it failed at what would happen i never expected to live this long and now i dont know what to do with my life ive got better like more than i was before but i just feel in a blur all the time and my anti depressants dont work nothing does i jjst feel useless,3.0
4746,i hate to make everyone sad but i dont think im gonna be on very much this week ,2.0
4747,what does it feel like to be a normal human being without a mental illness i cant imagine it i cant even begin to actually visualise it how do other people feel good about themselves with anything ,3.0
4748,sbaylatin i cant salsa  i would kill to live in sf or ny im a bug city girl san diego is pretty small and lame,2.0
4749,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
4750,i used to take about  to get home from the airport now i take about  like  like  you know ,2.0
4751,popsikate yes but i dont want too  i cant afford it any longer ,2.0
4752,actually had a pretty good night so far ,0.0
4753,still had tooth ache ,2.0
4754,omg im shattard lauras was beast but ,0.0
4755,bored at my dads ,2.0
4756,im sick on my birthday ,2.0
4757,work was crazy busy tonight i had to stay an hour late oh well that means more money  now i have a headache though,0.0
4758,i miss you i really really do  ,2.0
4759,yagirltia who is your friend and come tia do as i say ,0.0
4760,talkingwithtami morning ms tammie  your fam looked adorable in family circle   i bought it amp was like quotsee honey  i talked to herquot  lol,0.0
4761,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
4762,bridezillas marathon over nothing left to watch ,2.0
4763,congrats ya joeychristian goodluck pamerannya ,0.0
4764,ivelostmine i miss the farmers market i had an awful day yesterday loook back at my tweets ,2.0
4765,broke up with my first and only girlfriend who was my only support system for the past year and a half im devastated i have no idea how to handle this she found me at a time when i had nobody at all not much has changed in that regard i didnt have anyone else but her even during the time that we were together as i have difficulty connecting with people and making friends ive never before felt the kind of nonjudgmental support that she gave me i opened up about basically everything to her and dug into my emotions to find things that i had never told anyone elsewhats weird is that were still friends and shes the one whose shoulder i cry on i feel a deep almost nostalgic sense of loss and i cant stop crying for the time we had together i was severely depressed before the breakup and i dont know what to do im afraid im a danger to myself,3.0
4766,i never get to sleep in first day of my vintage shopping class  i dig,0.0
4767,bimbler on cuppa  slowly working alright this morning how are you did you get the workshop up and running ,0.0
4768,yipes washington dc news reports two metro trains on the red line collided less than one hour ago theyve said severe injuries ,2.0
4769,finished johnson won i also won  thank u edwards ,0.0
4770,hanrudman no pigs heads here yet cosmetic surgery on pigs it aint should be some pretty funky human heads though ,0.0
4771,rant losing the will to live im just so tired of struggling i dont know why i keep trying to make life work for me i hate everything about my life i wish there was an option for people with severe mental illness who arent benefiting from treatment to have doctors help end their life i just dont want to spend another  years feeling this way 🥺😭😵,3.0
4772,firesty hey fire  haha latee sorry,0.0
4773,collinwolfboy yea ,0.0
4774,wesdecker thats awesome lol  ,0.0
4775,cant wait to go to school i cant wait to get yelled at by teachers i cant wait to have all my dreams shattered cant wait to get made fun of by my friends i cant wait to fail my quizzes ,3.0
4776,alright im done spamming back to work ,2.0
4777,hey everyone good morning ,0.0
4778,reallllly tired today  the feeling of being graduated finally set in,2.0
4779,heavyrideatviva so theres a chance th will be there ,0.0
4780,rt fitwithhips rt if youre vegan and dont have deficiencies ,2.0
4781,at the dentist boohoo ,2.0
4782,welcome annistarship  ,0.0
4783,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
4784,its like  in the morning amp im sat half asleep waiting on my take that tickets coming  i wana go back to bedddd,2.0
4785,putitawaynext time u see a contest  jengroover butler bags dont tell me amp win  might come home to clt wme ,0.0
4786,hey can you guys help me get to   tell a friend  via mgiraudofficial,0.0
4787,irockit follow me so you can see my updates ,0.0
4788,tommcfly haha i understand you tom  thank you  love ya xxx,0.0
4789,amyjade im not allowed  im gutted i would dress up as the little boy and make someone else be the dad l,2.0
4790,i feel so sad for him i love youkth 🙂,1.0
4791, locked up my computer again on server launch piece of crap  i guess i am not playing ,2.0
4792,kerrilouise  have a fantastic time youll have to fill me in when you get back,2.0
4793,icanhascook i had whatever the food eqiivalent of a hangover is didnt stop me having eggs benedict for brunch though ,0.0
4794,wel im really trying to do my best to help peter  but  its only  days left  go team carlisle  and gil ,2.0
4795,hexmurda didnt know you had a baby on the way yay  congrats ,0.0
4796,rt roguefirstlady do they no watch news ,2.0
4797,in the my sisters car  im returning home  i had a great walk with my friends,2.0
4798,preparing for gig tonite  offcorso rotterdam after a good dinner outside somewhere ,0.0
4799, rodrigooo ,0.0
4800,rt isacamisa having post concert depression bc its been  months since tøp and i miss it alot ,2.0
4801,i need to cry but cant any music suggestions or other suggestions to help me cry are welcome,3.0
4802,omg they separated ,2.0
4803,viviansessoms im good thanks about to enjoy a lovely creamcake ,0.0
4804,saturday in jackson hole ,0.0
4805,sad lonely boy hours,2.0
4806,mtv movie awards yesterday congrats robert kristen miley and the twilights makers  ,0.0
4807,this is so sad i hope he doing alright,1.0
4808,sharonhayes why thank you for that ,0.0
4809,damn i lost my dinner on the floor ,2.0
4810,goodnight yall i feel so bad that my sister couldnt come to tahoe with us ,2.0
4811, foxit reader ,0.0
4812,light ive been so depressed i went into hiding for  years without talking to almost anyone and completely feeling sad from certain heath issues and mental state i really missed my friends and tonight i was staying up late as always and my friend messaged me that i havent talked to in years and said that we should hang out i was so happy that i cried ive really been out of it for s minute just a post that there is still light in your darkest moments,3.0
4813,last day at indigo pearl ,2.0
4814,sarahlbenjamin wheneva you ready just pop us a mail ,0.0
4815,songmasterbo  for some reason i only got  sec ,2.0
4816,bored amp not looking forward to tomorrow ,2.0
4817, mom says u sure do have a cute smile ,0.0
4818,show time ,0.0
4819,just back from school ,0.0
4820,pipercarter wish i could make it   i have a previous commitment  this evening next week,2.0
4821,watching wolverine cartoon with my brothersweeet ,0.0
4822,extreme soulcrushing boredom despite having a full schedule of school and work i often get absentminded and start having extreme depressive thoughts along with a soulcrushing boredom i often think about the point of life and what would happen once i die as well as other bad thoughts and all of these thoughts terrify me more than anythingi strongly dislike the feeling of boredom and it doesnt easily go away even makes it hard to study or enjoy any activity which i rarely get time fortoday it started at  am and its still going on and now its  amits not as strong as it started but i still feel horriblei find myself relating to a lot of posts in here so do some of you guys feel the same how do you deal with the feeling of extreme boredom along with an existential crisis,3.0
4823, loveeeeee you mooo gurl ,0.0
4824,got a headache throat hurts and i think i have a slight fever i wish josh could stay up later ,2.0
4825,davidarchie so good to hear youre having some quality time with familytheres nothing better  always be there for you ,0.0
4826,eiks aww yay good thank you looking forward to drivingriding again soon i hope  welcome back,0.0
4827,rt bethfratesmd dogs can improve heart health keep u fitactive help u lose weight improve ur social life reduce stress add meanin,0.0
4828,finished  papers uhyay gazillion more to go  id rather be reading sookie stackhouse books so need to get my hands on the boxset,2.0
4829,sunburn go away please ,2.0
4830,  look it went back down to  not good  ,2.0
4831,it was sooo bad i had to get up and leave ,2.0
4832,depression i have been diagnosed with severe depression by several psychologists and doctors and i have been given meds to help with how i feel but  i still dont feel better i feel so numb lonely and sad everyday i have trouble finding a reason to get up in the morning or doing anything when i have school work or anything of the sort i lose my motivation and tell myself that its useless since im just gonna die anywaysi hate myself  have a low self esteem no motivation no feelings other then numbness sadness depression and loneliness i hate my brain,3.0
4833,i have the flu after tiring myself out for days i feel so slow and heavy and i just want to end it all and everything is too much and i dont know what to do im getting med withdrawal from weening off some that didnt work for me anymore therapy is bringing up a lot of heavy shit and i just dont know how to go on any more  at this point the only thing stopping me going jumping off a bridge is how ill i am  i just want the pain to stop ,3.0
4834,ruph quotwhere you can see your hummquot my whaa ooooh my home ,0.0
4835,welcome to the uncharted  closed public beta woohoo ,0.0
4836,waiting  the bus  show up im hungry n tired after a long plane trip from indiana ,2.0
4837,is being attacked by monday get it off me get if off me ,0.0
4838,about to fail the fuck out of this chemistry exam ,0.0
4839,worst part about the coronavirus quarantine is that im forced to stay with my mom who thinks depression is a joke and that its me whos making this up and using terms like depression to fake my laziness a little bit of background im a fairly intelligent kid in an amazing college doing the course of my dreams but im mildly depressed and ive been using gym and meditation to keep it in check after therapy which didnt work out for me its been getting out of control lately because gym is closed and im forced to stay at home because my college shutdown and they instructed all of us to go back home so ive been at home for  days and today morning something happened i just didnt want to go out in the sunlight because it feels like im under a spotlight and i just want to stay in my room cuz im fucking depressed so i told her no im not going out in the sunlight where my mom emotionally tries to manipulate me by crying for no reason and blames me for making her angry and says shit like  ill get high bp and a heart attack and die because of you cuz you never listen to what i say how can you not obey what im saying dont disobey me in front of your grandma cuz shes gonna spread it to our relatives and theyll think of me as a bad parent  then when i open up about being depressed and she doing this to me is only making it worse she absolutely loses it and starts saying things like ive failed as a parent now what did i work for if youre depressed and going to ruin your life and career theres more people under worse conditions so what makes you depressed even im depressed but im not talking about it i worked so hard for you but now youre like this its cuz of your bad friends who support your mental problemsdont make up serious terms to blackmail medont use the word depression to make up your own problemspeople with mental health issues will not be able to be successful in their academic careers and will fail miserably is that what you want yourself to be   and a lot more very hurtful shit which i cant fucking take anymore what the fuck is wrong with asian parents fuck this shit i just wanted to take a break and chill and now i just feel like a zombie i cant show my feelings to anyone at all home doesnt feel like home anymore and im forced to stay here till the quarantine is lifted i just want this suffering to end i dont even know if i actually have depression or if im making it up at this point was i always a liar like this  i dont fucking know i dont even know what to feel anymore,3.0
4840,enjoyed nice weather today and fixed some signed url issues ,0.0
4841,back from york amazing weekend ,0.0
4842,rt vinayggoel estellaewa officialnbcc sbuildhome ansalhousing hardeepspuri pmoindia mohuaindia piyushgoyal narendramodi pradee,2.0
4843,going to mall soon to look around and maybe buy something new ill keep you guys updated on whats happening ,0.0
4844,rt bradentbh omg after laughter actually is aoty after allforgiveness just flared my depression and im not even mad,1.0
4845,i love how im already ready  and im not leaving for  mins,2.0
4846,well they found the missing plane   sad those little tiny ones are scary esp in bad weather,2.0
4847,chrisjakob yeah i kno  but ill be back babe i got come see my boyfriend,2.0
4848,bacondsc where ,0.0
4849,steephill all of your links are dead ,2.0
4850,hungry right now ,2.0
4851,louiseacullen  st elevation in avr with st depression in other leads  think triple vessel disease ratp  ,2.0
4852,axis  really prevents you from writing good and short objectoriented code it makes you write almost identical code again and again  ,2.0
4853,gregorychang but less readily available ,2.0
4854,johnmonds hey thx for the ff i see u work with barbaryan  anybody who works whim is cool in my book ,0.0
4855,amandafortier alour jason segels sister was awesome when i lived next door to her in college ,0.0
4856,i dont trust nobody not even him ,2.0
4857,love jazz i miss wayman tisdale   hes missed by many,2.0
4858,torchwoodcf all the b amp bs here are about  a night but they are all gulf sidemy fav bampb henderson inn was blown away by hurricane ,2.0
4859,i cant believe that i didnt see ucker i am so sad ,2.0
4860,ninh urgh   will have to prolong our destined sanwa powered  match till we fully recover from the evening formerly known as woofur,2.0
4861,is aboutt to get her hair done ,0.0
4862,ayubella i dont know thinking of my crush lol and because all of my friends likes taylor except for a few people lol ,2.0
4863,pagankinktress ps im trying to rope in more friends for scrabble on facebook but nobody wants to play     yahtzee be fun too,2.0
4864, you are welcome ,0.0
4865,dysarrae oh i know you are  its just i know that shes going to bitch about my weight and i probably have yo have surgery on my ears,0.0
4866,hi aanuaar jom mandi kolam hahaahahaha aku stress 😭😭😭,2.0
4867,friday this stormy weather had gottogo i got nail polish on my new medical scrubs ,2.0
4868,yayyy runs house is coming back ,0.0
4869,i kinda wanted to try that sushi today lol ,2.0
4870,cant care about my classes for a little backstory on this ive never been a great student in high school i was always the guy who either slept through class or did the bare minimum but still somehow got decent grades most of the timeit makes sense to me eitherbut now im in college well technically university i came here with high hopes i had myself convinced everything would get better once i got out from home i thought id make more friends do well be happier blah blah blah but soon as i got here i knew i was going to have issues the first semester i skipped too many classes to count i couldnt bring myself to get out of bed and i would sleep until late in the afternoon i had and still have no new friends even now im back here during the winter semester which is two weeks of one class we have daily you are supposed to miss none of them but ive already missed  out of the  weve had my life is waking up for my alarm and just being unable to get out of bed i sleep till  then play games with my old friends till around  i watch some videos then go to sleep around  convinced ill go to class the next day but so far i havent been able toive never been able to stay motivated in life i think thats my biggest problem i know how important it is that i work hard how much i dont want to disappoint my family or friends but it doesnt work and im unable to do anything about itsorry for the long kinda venting post maybe some of you feel the same if anyones figured this kind of thing id love to hear what you have to say anyways signing off my brain at  ready to make the same mistakes all over again,3.0
4871,sigh why do all the hot girls always get more and theyre half the time selfish bitches who dont deserve it ,2.0
4872,ebuyerdotcom cheers antec a little too big love the akasa but its more than i wanted to spend ,2.0
4873,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
4874,again had icecream  night only to get a running nose ,2.0
4875,novawildstar see dm please  and thank you ,0.0
4876,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
4877,  really hasnt changed much with the virus running rampant across the globe right now has anyone else even noticed a differenceim still going to work  the only things that have changed are school is all online and the gyms are closed  i still sit at home on the weekends and dont attempt to socialize with everyone   people inviting me to online zoom meetings are inducing panic attacks  i didnt leave the house on weekends before what makes you think i want to talk to you from my house  with the gym closed im loosing weight and gaining fat  skinny guy that doesnt eat very often  my depression is increasing but i really dont have a comparable method to work out here at home   with the exception of reddit ive deleted all my social media and dating apps    anywho rant over,3.0
4878,beautiful songquoti wanna be loved by youquot  ,0.0
4879,kya the link works for me ,0.0
4880,rt  this is going to be a thread on dating someone with depression keep in mind that depression varies a bit in each pers,2.0
4881,ymerej its us travel only im afraid i have to work up to international  cant afford that kind of travel right now ,2.0
4882,tears in my eyes sweet goodbyes ,2.0
4883,supposed to be homeworkingbut really cant be bothered  truth of the world evermore,2.0
4884,darrencrawford ,0.0
4885,hellzyea hiya n good mornin im already followin ya ,0.0
4886,running out of words im far past the point in my life of believing im going to get better i know there is no better mental illness is for life my friends seem to have caught on to this years ago and grow tired of my absence due to not feeling wellin simple terms every one is tired of my bullshit you often hear people say if you need someone to talk to im here but really theyre not i think its just something people say to make themselves feel good i offered to help someone that suffers from depression im a good personno one wants to hear my bullshit no one really cares people stop caring because they see youre not getting better i never said i get better or even thought i would i never expected to be fixed or get better but they did over time they just get tired of you not getting better after all the advice theyve offered and youre still not getting betterso they leave no ones in it for the long haul unless theyre being paid i think about checking out but thats something id never actually talk about talking about it is really a cry for help or attention if you want to check out you have to have a plan and you cant talk about it its like saying goodbye saying goodbye is a taunt or an invitation to discuss things if you really want to leave you dont say goodbye you just leaveim running out of words just as everyone in my life has run out of fucksim lonely in a crowd theres no joy anymore in anything im just stealing air but i cant stop breathing because thats when they will find fucks to give i dont want that i dont want to be remembered like that im not crying for help im trying to wish myself out of this one way or another,3.0
4887,is home not up for the whole day of school almost made it though ,2.0
4888,rt shxramin the most sad is both his grandma and grandpa passed away when he is away from korea😭😭yang paling sedih kakek dan neneknya,2.0
4889,going to get two shots today ,2.0
4890,the only reason im still alive is my cat if it wasnt for my cat willa id kill myself right on the spot being alive hurts but if im gone her pain will be worse than mine will ever be shes the only one that gives a shit about my existence and i love her so much,3.0
4891,my back is killing meagain ,2.0
4892,jpenni it was your fault shame on you ,0.0
4893, loud as hell not hello heh heh ,0.0
4894,any kind soul out there to help me with my shit load of dnt ,2.0
4895,lmao ok im backand less than  hrs later ,2.0
4896,in paper cut cityclicking my red heels wishing i were home in bed ,2.0
4897,thinking i totally wasted my money on the new horror flick quottake me to hellquot   ,2.0
4898,should i continue going to therapy back in december i started going seeing a therapist because i thought it might help and at my university its free but after a month i wasnt really seeing any improvement im thinking about discontinuing because it does take a chunk out of my schedule but i also feel like if i do ill just become more and more depressed what should i do im also considering maybe seeing a psychiatrist but im really scared of being judged or something if i go in and they say  im fine ,3.0
4899,i am bored by everything struggled with this before and tried to motivate myself i changed my diet which helped i exercise which helps i do stuff with friends sometimes i have a girlfriend but i just dont get enjoyment out of anything sometimes and it comes randomly i dont even know what triggers it i can be in the middle of playing a game i have put hundreds of hours into and suddenly my brain says bored now and thats it i cant get anything more out of it and the thought of playing it anymore puts me to sleep i go to play another game but they all look boring ive exercised so much my body aches im so tired i can barely keep my eyes open but i cant sleep its like a light switch and when it comes on thats it everything is boring and i feel ready to curl up and wait for oblivion i have not taken anti depressants for many years because they all kill my sex drive and its the last thing i actually do enjoy plus they dont cure the boredom just makes the boredom less suicide inducing dont even know why im writing this i read it back and bored myself ,3.0
4900,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
4901,mom just got back from her lasik surgery and is in a lot of pain ,2.0
4902,missing so much gaby mune titi amp davito ,2.0
4903,bored outta my mind wonder why i havent heard from that someone  txt it,2.0
4904,i dont have the courage to actually commit suicide but i dont go to hospital when i know theres something wrong in my body im not suicidal although i think about it sometimes i dont think ill ever actually do it about  months ago i sensed my body send me some health issue signals i didnt pay much attention although i felt i needed to go to the doctor but i never did the symptoms never leave since then just sometimes better sometimes worse i think it has developed into something really bad over the time now i just wait waiting for some day one morning or evening out of nowhere i just collapse and never wake up again,3.0
4905,ever get stuck in bouts of looking at other people and thinking a combination of you have no idea how lucky you are and i wish i was able to have normal thoughts like you can hard to put this into accurate words its not straightup jealousy for living without depression nor is it aggressive thoughts about others its more like dreaming of my past when i was free and able to enjoy the thoughts in my head as they came to me and seeing others as still being in that innocent space,3.0
4906,busy week straight ahead cant wait for the weekend astrophotography in the mountains from friday till sunday ,0.0
4907,probably going to kill myself this upcoming tuesday everything is just such shit right now im tired of being nothing but a burden to other people im sad to leave my pets and my boyfriend but i feel they will be better off without me i really want to finish my suicide note before i do it but every time i try and write it i just lose all motivation and cant express what i want to say i still dont know how im going to do it ive already tried overdosing and hanging neither worked i would want to jump off somewhere but im scared that someone will try and talk me out of it i only have a window of time of about three hours to do it ,3.0
4908,i love twitter but sometimes i hate it ,2.0
4909,leoraw back to twitter will be heading home tonight though and yups it did rain  but it was a nice shabbat  shavua tov,2.0
4910,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
4911,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
4912, forgot your throat was hurting   sorry ur day was so long im taping bros amp sisters  watch later my head still hurts,2.0
4913,keep on swimming this is not a suicide letter this is just my explanation into what my life is likewhat keeps me from killing myselfi know it will affect my family not necessarily my friends i dont feel loved by my friends even though most have been through thick and thin with me i always feel like the outcast of the group or the stupid onei dont have the drive to do anything let alone kill myself besides not doing it when i was at my lowest makes it kind of pointless if i did it now im very aware that many of my friends and family worry about me but on most days i dont want to talk to them and its ruining our relationships its not that i dont want to talk to them i love each and everyone of them i just dont want to bring them down with something that i cant fix about myself the depression really takes its toll on people and i dont blame them for hating me for it i know how it comes across to those who dont understand what its like if i die i dont want my pain to go into others depression makes me believe that my friends and family would be happier if i was gone but when im in a good place and i think logically i know that isnt trueim not good with communicating how i feel with others not that i have anyone to talk too the people i get close with i always end up driving away because i cant beat the negative feelings or thoughts out of meim lonely really fucking lonely i feel like its always been me vs the world and its been a constant battle with me always ending up the loser i have so much love to give to others i never want anyone to feel this way which is why i will always do my best to make other people feel better and that they may talk to mei dont enjoy my natural mental state which is why i choose to alter it with drugs to numb the pain and make me feel something else i dont even find happiness in drugs its just a painkiller so my life feels numb rather than the painful existence it always is i hate that this is who ive becomei dont dream anymore im lucky to get  hours a week of sleeping and each and everytime its like blinking into the future i close my eyes and like if someone clicked their magic fingers im  hours into the future with my eyes opening back up this makes everyday feel like a blur each week either passes in a flash or a painstakingly long waitbut ive been like this for for well over  years i know that its a few crossed wires and not how i should be ive gone though years of some really really intense sadness its gotten to the point in my depression where theres no longer sadness or any other emotion other that the constant feeling of not caring about a damn thing to where it is now where im able to see a silver lining and making a conscious effort to improve myself even if it doesnt make me happyits affected my social skills the way i look and carry myself i still have that passion in me somewhere that ounce of drive in me pushing me to do things that i would normally enjoy and i dance along that thin line every damn day i recognize i have the ability to do something greatid say even now having just opened my curtains and window being stuck in my bed with nothing but my own thoughts for three days that im better than ever i have this new mindset about me its new and its been sticking and gaining track on meim starting to see the silver lining in things looking forward to doing small things theres hope getting dripfed back into my life i want to be better fitter healthier i want to inspire others and be looked to as a man who has control over his life im striving to be a man that my sons or daughters would be proud of this thought alone pushing me like no other despite not having a partner or a childi want to do well in life make my friends and family proud of who i will become until that day ill keep on swimming keep my head over the water with fresh air in my lungs and clear thoughts in my head its a real struggle but ill never let myself sink down back to the depths in which suicide was the only option for mei want to say thank you to my friends and family i know i come off as lazy a man with no ambition a bum and a drug addict but im trying my hardest and maybe one day youll see the light shine in my eyes againi wonder how long this motivation will last this time,3.0
4914,id show you all how awesome my kitchen looks but someone killed the camera on my phone ,2.0
4915,curiouslis пить нада меньше ,0.0
4916,coupdemain telecom does twitter too i should remind people of this otherwise telecomnz reminds me ,0.0
4917,letsdoitjess im turning on   i was born on  july ,0.0
4918,restinpowertrayvon the sad reality if you dont empathizedamnit sympathizeno do more immortalizeevery ,2.0
4919,i thought i was okay but im really not alright soive been feeling like this for quite a while i dont know if its depression i didnt have it diagnosed but it might be i just wanted to share with somebody i was alright after i moved i really was then it all started spiraling down again i dont feel okay i feel that nobody likes me not reallyi feel underappreciated and like everything i do is in vain because nobody cares i dont know if the reason i try so hard is to prove other people im not a piece of shit or that im not useless or to prove it to myself i feel so lost and i dont even know why because i have almost everything a person needs i should be happy but the only thing i feel like is crying and its like nothings inside me anymore  just guilt sometimes for things i shouldnt even feel guilty about because theyre normal and sometimes a deep sadnesswhat hurts the most is i thought id changed and that i was finally okay but i tried everything and theres nothing i can do to make myself feel better or whole or like somethings not fucking wrong with me  because im pretty sure im broken like something in my head might be wired in the wrong wayalso please dont suggest that i talk to a psychiatrist or therapist because i am financially unable to i have contacted someone who offers some discount under certain circumstances and the person said theyd contact me when they have an available spot but that was three months ago and they didnt contact me yet,3.0
4920,but for federer not much interest left at the roland garros  all guns gone with the wind,2.0
4921,cleaning so allison can come over i want her here now though ,2.0
4922,i hate anxiety it steals all of my confidence,1.0
4923,watching the sox  then going to bed  no gym   hopefully  of not def thursday no matter what,2.0
4924,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
4925,dbn is transformin n im glad to b able to witness it ,0.0
4926,momosanla awww peterhes still rockin too ,0.0
4927,savagestar cmon you love me youll do eet ,0.0
4928,sojourners have fun at the picnic wish i could go ,2.0
4929,i miss you ,2.0
4930,snapchat helped me out of a dark place this occurred a few weeks ago  i was having one of those weeks where when you wake up and know nothing will go right and was feeling extremely down even when things were improving social media can be one of the worst places to go when struggling seeing peoples ideal lives in instagram ect yet when i was looking at myself via the snapchat camera i accidentally took a photo and as i went to delete it said are you sure you want to abandon this snapturepiece  i cant remember exactly what it said and it honestly just made me appreciate myself that little more for the few weeks to come i realize this seems very trivial and insignificant but i decided to share it none the less,3.0
4931,snmc this song is making me happy i must aquire it ,0.0
4932,harrisja oh you i could findbut dont make it too difficult ,0.0
4933,going for a walk around camp ,0.0
4934, i should of listened to you hudson arbys  tummy aches ,2.0
4935,bout to head out to eat with tha fam mann its been too long since  was togetha but i still wish my granny was here ,2.0
4936,at the tweet up in abq  which wich but at a seprate table because we are shy peeps nice to see everyone here though ,0.0
4937,this actually broke my heart and i have no idea why its so sad it hurts,1.0
4938,im so tired and i dont know why ,2.0
4939,dinitaputri still in the office  same here ,2.0
4940,rt imbryantprince and some guys cant even open a door for their girl smh ,0.0
4941, i had curry shrimp yesterday lol i love seafood ,0.0
4942,schaut euch suicide squad ergonomisch  hentai mauspad von harley quinn von keysmart mal an ,1.0
4943,friendly reminder if someone in your life is making you unhappy then they dont need to be in your life regardless of if theyre family friends etc your main focus is yourself and your own happiness dont be bogged down by people who dont support youmy mom guilted me into doing everything for her with her to please her for years she let me sleep all weekend and after school with no question as to why im sleeping so much she found notebooks with pages about why i should kill myself and why i hated my life and myself it was the easiest thing for me to brush off and she never asked about it again last year i fell into months of never leaving the house except for exams and work she got upset with me for not spending time with her people who are very close to you but dont pay enough attention to you to notice something is wrong do not need to be in your life people who blame you and berate for not spending time with them do not need to be in your life if you dont feel support from someone who should be supporting you through your depression they do not need to be in your lifei have to remind myself of this every time i feel guilty for leaving my mom but im happier without her you could be too by cutting out these toxic people its not a cure but it helps stay safe,3.0
4944,swatkatt quite well but it was raining so we went to the water park instead which means no rollarcoaster ,2.0
4945,sleepy but i cant sleep  why,2.0
4946, thanks bro ,0.0
4947,im leaving tomorrow  i wont be on tumblr at least as much as i want to  the plane is leaving at  ,2.0
4948,greatfitness thanks i think theres a lot of out there ,0.0
4949,i wish i could believe on god maybe then id be slightly less depressed just cant force myself to believe in something as fake as that stuff it must be somewhat comforting to believe that someone is watching us and has a plan for us all,3.0
4950,rt tlotlitshey stop faking depression to look cool🙄,2.0
4951, where did everybody go ,2.0
4952,i would like so muuch go to the jonas brotherss show  november l but i cant ,2.0
4953,just got off work n got work in  😥💴 that sad bread lol,2.0
4954,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
4955,morning sunshines happy monday to you all hi and thanks to all my new followers ,0.0
4956,general depression ive been having such shitty mood swings lately i swing from happy highs to dark depressive lows its a rollercoaster i just wish i had someone to talk to,3.0
4957,will my thoughts ever change hey i am  old i am done with college in summer  i dont really have depression but i sometimes wish i disappeared after i am done with school and visited japan after that i feel like i have seen what i want to see in my life cant see the point in working the rest of my life i feel like there must be something in afterlife but i cant kill myself because of great family and friends but the thoughts of future me repeating weekdays  almost the same in the rest of my life is killing me inside sometimes btw i work after school sometimes what are your thoughts,3.0
4958,ruthierosie thanks i am having a great day  hows noah doing,0.0
4959,i get low and angry so quickly and its hard to feel normal again other people take  minutes or something to be annoyed at a situation a conversation or just anything that didnt go right but for me it takes like the whole evening or the whole day or whatever i get so so down and i actually get so angry that there is no way for me to get out of this circle i feel so low that i start to think that i just wanna die or whatever like i get really dramatic but its so hard to get out of this dark hole that i am in in these kind of situations i dontt know what to do about it i am in a situation like that right now im trying not to burst out in tears and i just want to punch the wall or something because i am so angry at everyone and everything is anyone out there who feels the same sometimes what can i do to calm down,3.0
4960,yoyo yea i remember both my grandmas sewing machines and they were hardcore instead of the new plastic ones nowadays ,2.0
4961, 	 they read my emails but they didnt respond ,2.0
4962,kyleemichelle yup middle of next month if i can find a job and not be penniless by then ,2.0
4963,rt arlinabanana you are allowed to cut off people yang selalu buat you rasa sakit hati and stress sebab benda benda bodohdah tua ni ba,2.0
4964,xmikehart have you guys eaten at cookout yet cause you have to before you leave ill treat you ,0.0
4965,what now at school i was always the quiet one who was seriously overweight and sunk into a world of video games after college it was either university which the thought of having to grow up and live alone terrified me as ive always been handed everything on a plate or workingwe live in an old factory that my dad converted into a flat and a garage just on the back so i slipped into the role of mechanic which while starting working helped me loose weight i just sort of went with the flow rather than it being an intrest of minefast forward  years and here we are ive just come out of my first year long relationship with an amazing girl and now it has made me realise what i dont have its gone from every weekend excited to see someone finishing work driving to them making plans even going shopping which i hate was made a fun experience to now nothing literally just get up walk downstairs to work where its just me and parents which we dont really have a bond finish then weekends i just find myself doing nothing but trying to waste time to go back to work to make the days go fasteri have  friends which are twins one is a teacher so has a very busy schedule and the other is thinking of moving down south where his friends from uni are i just feel so lost and lonely having zero intrests or hobbies no friends a broken family i just live in a silent world praying that something drastic happens which will take me away the relationship ended well it had just fizzled out but having someone tell you that you are completely different people and individual points but then saying thats completely fine and il meet someone whos the same as me all i took from it was im just a super quiet guy who cant change it wherever i go within  minutes your really quiet arnt you which is one of the main reasons which caused the first glimmer of happiness id felt with someone fall apart im just stuck in the same monotonous routine with no idea of what im doing apart from just plodding on the only thing i slightly enjoy now is the gym after work which im starting to sack off more and more when im there i just feel like a such a shadow i dont really want to be noticed but i have no idea how to be happy i should be growing up alot of people are getting married and starting families which seems to be the main sorta goal of life but i dont have that i have no idea what i want from life and no ambition to go get it mixed with a concoction of crippling depression and massive self hatred im loosing the fight faster than ever,3.0
4966,as you go off to college i want you to know ill miss you and ill love you forever  ill never stop supporting y httpstcozjrskyaito,0.0
4967,just cant cry anymore u ever just get to a point sometimes when u shouldwant to cry but just cant because ur just so used to feeling down,3.0
4968,i feel like im stupid untalented and that ive lost my old self im a guy who used to be talented smart analytical and just awesome now i feel like nothing i have hocd and tocd and im having a really hard time i feel like i did this to myself and i need advice ,3.0
4969, he probably will since he wont join ,0.0
4970,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
4971,tommcfly dougiemcfly mcflymusic i miss that videos on you tube with busted and son of dork ,2.0
4972,catchy chooonsample selection is epichis flow a delight  re ,0.0
4973,todays ups mariners game amp gasworks park w the family downs sims  still goes boom on otherwise rocksolid pc after driver updates ,2.0
4974,tried to whore out my twitter  ffaf but lj dies everytime i try ,2.0
4975,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay httpstcopbpciofbvc,1.0
4976,  i miss you to baby   i feel sick too ,2.0
4977,hatton career over manny was way too fast for him knocked him out in just over two minutes ,0.0
4978,heatheraewalker oh dont worry its fine ,0.0
4979,mileycyrus hey miley how ru doing i really love your music and im a big fan ,0.0
4980,mitchelmusso minee was may  and you never wished me oneee ,2.0
4981,dougewhite awwwwwww  im sorry  now i feel bad  ,2.0
4982,agh going back to connecticut next week to visit the family but ill b back maui ,2.0
4983,trying to tweet from twitterberry ,2.0
4984,im hometime to get breakfaaaaast ,0.0
4985,lyndseyamanda not fair i wanna go dont worry ill be at work ,2.0
4986,getting ready for field day tommorow   time to dominate the field but teachers think its for funthey are so wrong cause it is war,0.0
4987,nathaliekinders  i miss you too ,2.0
4988,good afternoon twitters ,0.0
4989,i just need to get this off my chest im feeling lost and confused nowmy  year old son needs milk and diapers we have a pack of milk left which could last him the night and  pieces of diapersim broke right now i dont even have money for a ride homei havent eaten lunch yet and its  now from where im ata reddit friend suggested to ask for help on the assistance sub redditi did ask but they have a requirement before i could ask financial helpwith that aside whats hurting me is that i feel so hopeless i asked everyone i know of they could help me even with loose change but nobody helpedon the subreddit my plea got buried with the influx of new request from other redditorsgood thing some offered some encouragementsbut to be honest i cannot feed my son with encouragementsi feel so humiliated with reaching out for help i feel so defeatedi feel so worthless useless as a father that i cannot provide my son what he needsim not from the us by the way there are kind people who pointed out where should i go but i cant since im not from america and we dont have those institutions herewhy just why,3.0
4990,craig fergusonyes ,0.0
4991,anyone else grew up outside of their home country causing you to be left out just looking for some people to relate to and see how others deal with it  i am  and grew uplived  in china  since i was  old and went to international school  i am from ireland but only visited a few times when i was younger now i currently live in australia everytime i meet someone when travelling and say i am from ireland they go  oh you dont sound irish  or when i meet fellow irish people at hostels or friends of friends we dont bond as assuming  dont perceive me as irish cause of american ish accent and not growing up there    also when i meet my girlfriends parents older friends they said stuff like  oh so you are pretty much chinese with a irish heritage  dumb stuff like that heard from people since i was     i am  irish and proud of it  just tend to get treated like those americans or australians  who have irish routes   even when i wear irish rugby scarf and top i still get the  but your not really irish irish though but good on ya  from other irish people 🤦‍♂️i just feel awkward everytime someone says  let me introduce you to my mate who is also irish and every damn time i speak and no irish accent comes out their reaction is always the same and is awkward maybe i let this get to me too much but has gone on for so many years sorry for the long rat just never met anyone like this so thought would post on reddit and see how others deal with it   thank you all,3.0
4992,niggas cause stress then relieve it,1.0
4993,rt  first jorge medina leaves arrolladora and now alans leaving ms  sad httpstcoupzwwrqqjq,2.0
4994, ive been calling u ,2.0
4995,afternoon peeps motogp qually has started at jerez very excited ,0.0
4996,at starbucks white chocolate mocha frapppp babby ,0.0
4997,peaches was so awesome as expected now to drunkenly eat some beanhelper hamburger helper meat and pass out its late ,0.0
4998,worked out too hard and eat too much not a good combo ,2.0
4999,sitting at katie wynns wishing my dog wasnt dead  i miss her but i have tomorrow off so thats on the upside of things,2.0
5000,dont know what im doing wrong i was having such a good night yesterday clubbing with my mates when i suddenly imagined that my friends were only friends with me because i was depressed which im open about i started crying and left the night early and went back to my flat to bawl my eyes out properly this happens so many times nowadays and i dont know why,3.0
5001,if lucas till and taylor swift start dating i will start barfing goats all over the placeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee   o       ,2.0
5002,lets compile a super list of easy meals while struggling with no appetite due to depression sorry if this has been done beforemy goal needs your help theres two different ways depression affects appetite eating too much or not wanting to eat at all this list will focus on the latter not having an appetite and not having the energy to cook what are your go to foods comment below and ill add them to the list here creating categories as it goes on they can range from snacks meals even supplements that help keep your body in check even add prices if you know them so we can know whats cheap vs expensiveits hard to think of a variety while depressed and this may also help the dreaded trip to the grocery store with a simplified listbreads amp grains bagels toast saltine crackers pastameat amp protein lunch meat slices ham turkey etc eggs boiled scrambled etc canned tunadairy cheese mozzarella sticks gogurt milkvegetables avocados grape tomatoes baby carrots frozen vegetable packs potatoes boiled baked or fried sweet potatoes boiled baked or fried peas canned beansfruits amp nuts grapes apples pecans almonds cashews walnuts etc super filling and nutritious even by itself sunflower seedsliquid nutrition protein shakes soylent gives you a lot of your daily nutrition vitamins and minerals gatorade capri suncondiments to go with your single foods or simple meals nutritional yeast has bvitamins protein and a cheesy savory taste peanut butter mayo mustard ketchup soy sauce ready made sauce packets worcestershire saucepre made meals ramen microwavable meals fresh or frozen pizza if you get a large you can have left overs chicken nuggets bagged chips ready rice packs spaghettios cereal bars protein bars apple sauce packetseasy food combos little to no cooking and prep needed mozzarella toast avocado toast fried rice in soygarlic sauce apple cinnamon toasteasy to make meals require mild prep or cooking spinach salad spinach cherry tomatoes cut in half chunks of ham you can usually find it prechunked sprinkle of cheese usually parmesan and apple cider vinegar ramen noodles with veggies ramen noodles frozen vegetables peanut butter with optional poached egg microwave or baked sweet potato fries with ketchup big pot of noodles with beans boil noodles till cooked strain melt  tablespoon of butter in pot add garlic and onion powder put noodles back into pot on low heat rinse canned beans and pour into pot with noodles add another  tablespoon of butter   tuna sandwich tuna mayo spinach cheese bread easy bagel toppings    smoked german cheese over salami or chorizo with thyme and black pepper    ham with cream cheese chives and honey mustard dressing    bacon and cheese    feta and red onion    corned beef melted cheese and worcestershire sauce jacket potato with beans and cheese bake or microwave a potato for  min punch holes in it with a fork turn it half way through add baked beans with cheese on top or whatever else sounds good,3.0
5003,im actually crying at the jeremy kyle show ,2.0
5004,iamdiddy lmao lmao foreal tho u went in ,0.0
5005,i want summer why is it so cold in germany ,2.0
5006, just a day old so still in nappiestrying to change theme for one of my mum�s images doesn�t show yet icon up in  goes ,0.0
5007,faa mosaic challenge deadline extended till june  ,0.0
5008,rt  school hasnt started yet but my stress has,2.0
5009, drivein and its raining ,2.0
5010,sqlsarg they teach you that in counter strike too ,0.0
5011, morning beautiful isnt it what you got planned for today ,0.0
5012,so cold outside ,2.0
5013,dont say thatim dying here trying hard not  call u ,2.0
5014, im gonna restart my computer super quick ill be on in  mins ,0.0
5015,flipping cloud cover got goosebumps on my goosepimples now ,2.0
5016,i think it means i just need to cut a whole bunch of people who post a lot sorry if you get cut ,2.0
5017,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
5018,feeling constantly embarrassed anyone else have experience with this or advice on how to deal with it you know that sinking feeling you get when you remember something super embarrassing you did where it feels like someone hit you in the stomach and you think god why did i do that whats wrong with me lately ive been having this feeling constantly i have nightmares about being naked and ashamed and unable to cover myself up i feel like this feeling has always been there but is definitely more pronounced lately as a result i dont want to talk to anyone and i dont feel connected to anyone i have no one i can talk to about this is there a name for this,3.0
5019,daily reminder to all you guys struggling  for all you guys in a dark place right now  i just wanted to let you guys know people love you and i promise it gets better even though it is bad now at some point in your life it will get better so do me a favour and dont give upstay strong 💪 ,3.0
5020,bakit ang bagal talaga ng net lt pota ang sad huhu,2.0
5021,my boyfriend is dead i dont know where to post thismy boyfriend was found dead two days ago with a gunshot wound to the head i cant stop feeling regret and guilt and i wish i had been there to protect him i feel numb i wake up in panics i scream and yell out of no where i struggled with depression before this and thought id never feel a pain worse than that i was wrong i lost someone so special to me and i am losing my home that we built together i lost my bestfriend i dont know how i will get through this one step at a time i suppose but every step feels like  years its been  hours and i feel like ive been grieving for years my family is here for support my friends are reaching out but nothing will take this pain away from me i close my eyes and see him suffering and i my heart clenches up what a horrible way to go such a light that has been taken from this earth i need answers and i need details but im scared to know what happened my heart is broken how will i get through thisedit this was a homicide not a suicide and he never did a single thing to deserve this ,3.0
5022,i wish i coul fast forward an see where this will end upperhaps i should have said something differentlybut im still very excited ,0.0
5023,rt nedastaff  is not a place where only skinny ideal body types can thrive bodyimage mentalhealth ,0.0
5024,watchin family  its helping me calm down these damn sniffles ,2.0
5025,want to go to luush craving rockstar soap none left ,2.0
5026,really wish justingetsnasty would email me back ,2.0
5027,i am a failure at life i fail or am mediocre at everything i do wish i could just kill myself to end it all but too many people depend on me being alive im trapped in this hellish existence called life 😭,3.0
5028,my myspace text alerts arent working  i feel lost without them lol,2.0
5029,a beautiful day and im stuck inside working ,2.0
5030,be back finishing up projects you know everyone always wants it before the weekend ,0.0
5031,gotta gowont be able to log on  atleast a weekgonna miss twiter ,2.0
5032,my brain feels like its melting ,2.0
5033,owengerrard  aww  ,0.0
5034,home is once again an inhospitable mess painting dining room laundry room kitchen and hallway this weekend   ,2.0
5035,oucheeee sunburn  il be buying a higher factor  i think lol,2.0
5036,coachkiki thank you kiki im okay facing my fear and going rafting down a river for  time in life today you are my coach ,0.0
5037,having a pretty shitty day ,2.0
5038,i feel as though i have nothing left to live for i  have been feeling like i have nothing i am in my final semester of college to get my bs in biology i realized the other day that i actually dont know any biology and just did what i needed to do to pass so that i could compete in my varsity sport well now i hate my sport distance running and have struggled to compete i despise the majority of my teammates and dont even want to see my roommates much one of my roommates im fairly close to but he isnt super open i put so much time and effort into athletics that my identity is tied up in it now that its gone i feel like i have nothing left to live for i have no real friends will graduate with a degree that means nothing but a miserable job no more sports and im expected to just find somewhere to live and work what am i even supposed to do some days i can fake it but lately ive just wanted to move on perhaps even just concede to life i dont see where anything better could happen for me i dont remember how to be happy,3.0
5039,im very bored ,2.0
5040,why cant i do normal things like everyone else long rant i have no one else to talk to who understands so i apologize in advance i havent been to work in a month im not even sure if i still have a job since my medical leave is still pending and has been for weeks its so frustrating not being able to go and work amp do normal things its not like i have a hard job all i have to do is answer the phones and yet i cant even get out of bed ive been sulking and trying to pull myself together trying not to break down brushing my teeth showering cleaning working eating socializing all these normal easy tasks that are impossible for me and its so hard to explain why more often than not people view me as lazy and honestly that just makes things worse i hit one of my lower points when feeling very suicidal last week i was contemplating just ending it all i already know what i would use to kill myself i have a drawer full of pills which im sure would do the job but i couldnt do that to my parents and sisters it would kill them i guess one of my friends sensed something was off and called the police and i had to go through a full welfare check to make sure i was going to be fine it was completely humiliating and made me very anxious being put on the spot and having to speak about something so dark im going to be fine right im in so much pain it seems like dying is the only answer im just very numb and too tired at this point any advice or anything is helpful thanks for making it to the end first time poster amp on mobile so i apologize if the formatting is weird ,3.0
5041,lumensilta me like your saying  yeah lets change,0.0
5042,me bitch youve got to do your homework im begging you depression youve got  do ur homework ,2.0
5043,judyrey  the link doesnt work ,2.0
5044, these kinds of revelations are what twitter was made for  you might think so many would disagree  ,0.0
5045,will be logging in to httptrimcchastainexpthemes tomorrow  sydney time  coffee  cchastain ftw ,0.0
5046,jennacelebrates  hi  thanks for following  so glad to meet ya  or should i say tweet ya  ,0.0
5047,mileycyrus sorry to hear you feeloing down twitter me back and i will cheer you up ,0.0
5048,fuck life failed a job interview i fail at life i fail at everything i try gonna be jobless homeless and never have a gf my life is actually a joke why am i still alive im  sure killing myself would only benefit my family in the long run i dont contribute anything im worthless,3.0
5049,ive just seriously hurt my neck  its reeeally hurting and i can hardly turn my head ,2.0
5050, good youve recovered from your cold dont forget mandarin scripts are still greek to some of us ,2.0
5051,me spamming about everything whats on my mind   feel free to read ,0.0
5052,good morning tweeters early reviewfeel like representing the best today so im going to go to school  in my jonas brothers tshirt ,0.0
5053,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
5054,soooi wasnt planning on goin bak to tikis again this week but i think imma have to ,0.0
5055,springsteens quotmeeting across the riverquot on repeat and some late night illustration work under my fingertips what could be better ,0.0
5056,pretty pissed of that i dont live in la ,2.0
5057,i wish people would stop faking  getting misdiagnosed with adhd i work at home all day i do online school  take freelance commissions im in my room all the time i have severe adhd and that combined with being in such a small room having a full house i have no where to go so my brain just gets so angry at me for not walking around or doing somethingeverything is boring when i watch a video i cant even be entertained for more than  seconds theres nothing good anymore to me nothing satisfies my hyperactive brain i feel like im fuckjng trapped in my own headtonight i got so fed up with not being able to leave my house because i dont have a car so i was actually considering jumping out of my window for an exciting trip to the eri started biting and scratching myself tonight even pulled out a lot of hair because i just hate being like this i hate being so confined i wish i could just do something but i didnt get a are you okay or even just a you need to stop its all just oh my god youre making so much noise shut the fuck up  i wasnt even crying then or anything but the sound of me rubbing my head  scratching myself was just to much to handle i guess xdd while they can throw shit and scream at me as soon as i drop my spoon down on my bowl lightly my noise is equivalent to a bomb droppingi live in a rural area too so its not like i can go anywhere i used to go in the woods when i got bored but a few years ago the neighbors cut down a bunch of trees  that closed the path down to the river and theres really nowhere else that wouldnt be considered trespassingits all made me incredibly suicidal i hurt myself just to feel something for once  i bite  scratch myself just to get some kind of feeling in my arms because otherwise i feel nothingbut when i tell people its my adhd that causes me all this stress every  year old girl online is like ahah i was diagnosed with adhd and i dont have those problems xdd or omg yea im super forgetful  unorganized 👍 it sucks so much i wish adhd wasnt so common  that it didnt get misdiagnosed so much so people can actually take it seriously,3.0
5058,chialynn  youre  right  i am planning for a sleigh ride party  memorial day weekend myself ,0.0
5059,elusiveangel good luck  i can tell ya it gets pretty crazy and then everything in the house breaks ,2.0
5060,liiife is getting harder day by day and i dont know what to do whaaat to say  not alone me deprime  e,2.0
5061,what to do next at  am when youre already cut open theres beautiful things out there and beautiful people i see them sometimes driving around my town i wonder what it must be like to look clear and pristine to be a human as humans were intended to be to have sex and to do your grocery shopping and to get up in the morning knowing you will be softly asleep later that night its so odd how they do thati wonder where they did all come from and where they are going and who they are coming home to sometimes when i cant sleep ill listen to music and smoke an entire pack of cigarettes on my front lawn if that doesnt work i may take a doubleedged razor blade and open up the underside of my left arm that makes me feel a bit soft and peaceful tonight i smoked my cigarettes and i opened up my arm and im still here at  am i dont know what i am supposed to do next,3.0
5062,feeling like even my therapist hates me last year i have finally got the courage to sign up for one of my university therapists after a few visits i thought i could reach something then summer break happened and i had to cancel my consultations which pretty much reversed all the little progress i seemed to make now in the middle of the new study year ive been trying to sign up for the same therapist again after countless emails of wellget back to you and waiting in a queue for months cant help but realized that my therapist possibility hates me after all im a gay guy in a backwards country,3.0
5063,haha just saw that theres a city near me called moraga haha reminds me of mayorga lol ,0.0
5064,just stopped playing the sims  i have to tell it to somebody its the best game ever ok i have to go back playing ,0.0
5065,i want my fukin pictures ,2.0
5066,i dont want to be sick anymore ,2.0
5067,ladder  gets me every time ,2.0
5068,this is sad spains blogging granny has passed  qu� descanse en paz ,2.0
5069,iwuvahmednanoop oh sorry jenna hey hugs  how are you,0.0
5070,so here i go still scratching around in the same old hole ,2.0
5071,every year that goes by my hatred for myself grows more i started posting here almost  years ago coming back to my old posts i realized ive barely made any progress in terms of bettering myself im here in bed crying because of how much i truly despise what ive become and what i havent achieved im starting to think that this is what i deserve a person like me cannot be like the happy successful and motivated people i envy sometimes i feel that the people i have that love me are wasting their time im grateful but at the same time i feel guilty because i am undeserving and i feel like time and time again i havent done anything to contribute goodness to their lives im losing hope in ever getting better i just need to appreciate the okay days because my spiral down will inevitably return right now i feel like a figure wasting space drifting towards nothingness surprisingly i cant believe im here again,3.0
5072,i need someone to talk too being alone is finally starting to really get to me,3.0
5073,lt still an  white girl never change  dwillbeats,0.0
5074,getting ready to take some orders and make yummy friesoff to work i go ,2.0
5075,i wanna go home tears ,2.0
5076,i want to die this custody battle im going through is really trying my resolve im getting the short end of the stick and getting stone walled in seeing my son every time i get denied my time with him makes it that much harder not to lose my shit i feel life in drowning and i cant seem to stay afloat why the fuck is this shit happening i want to give up but i cant i cant because of my son but its so hard so very hard the time ive lost the amount of time ive been denied it hurts im sick of the pain and im not sure how much more i can deal with,3.0
5077,should i give up on finding my wallet  sigh,2.0
5078,the world is better off without me im a worthless gfim a terrible daughteri spend all the money till we have none and no matter what the fuck i do i cant stopim autistic and bipolar and volatilei fight with my mom everyday i dont want to but it happens anywayim fat im not prettyim a bitchim over jealous of my bf if he hangs with his bestie the only way to get to him is to have mom take me up to his olace and force her to sit aroubd that area twiddling her thumbs all day pretty sure im the cause of world hunger and war,3.0
5079,fuck people apparently im annoying because i have feelings and im sad too muchedit last night i lost my best friend because she told me how annoying i am and that she hates being with me because im always on her nerves i then told her we shouldnt be friends and she asked why and that im getting mad for no reason honestly fuck her for not caring about me and making me feel worthless,3.0
5080,playing hackey sack in my living room ,0.0
5081,rt tonistory i quit my job last month to pursue my mealprep business based out of nj full time one rt can help me pay my bills and calm,1.0
5082,sakshihdtv very sad news may his soul rest in peace,1.0
5083, bsta some people muo na inig sat itll be mingaw ,2.0
5084, nope  whereve you heard it,2.0
5085,how to live like a millionaire for a day   ,0.0
5086,ultimatum oh i want dunkin donuts tooooo ,2.0
5087,hippyofdoom no it was a mini feast so chocolate chocolate more chocolate and some er nuts  on the chocolate  for fruit amp veg ,2.0
5088,nothing beats a hug first thing in the morning at work     ,0.0
5089,headacheeee ,2.0
5090, its too big ,0.0
5091,happy national vegetarian week ,0.0
5092,woke to the sound of oreo crying like he really needed help not like usual foundrescued him from being half inside my venetian blinds ,2.0
5093,alronberg  i hope the prgnosis is good ,2.0
5094,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
5095,pennydist heh yeah  just gotta work put travel etc aint bought a ticket yet any brummies going,0.0
5096,i can not believe these storms i normally enjoy a good tstorm but these are crazy intense and have kept me awake for over an hour ,2.0
5097, youre mean ,2.0
5098,bluelint good point   my nihongo is very rusty and i must miss this years visit to inlaws when i would practice ,2.0
5099,nincompoop  the unfinished quest gets added to allegrocc  yippee ,0.0
5100,socilover i wish i can see that they have cnn here again with no volume ,2.0
5101,still cant get my groups to show up in iphone tweetdeck  via stacijshelton neither can i have u got acct me no,2.0
5102,hi bro chillin with big sis heather aka hotyella ,0.0
5103,katiekuddles i know its all good tho well make up for it later  ill try on the  thats so close to lmam so idk party  ,0.0
5104, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,1.0
5105,going to bed thinkin about him ,0.0
5106,why cant i do the same i have this friend of mine whos also depressed im always the one who comfort her im always the one who give her advice funny that i cant apply those advice to myself but yeah i envy the fact that she can tell other people about how she feel she can express herself to me and to everyone no one knows about what i really feel i never told it to anyone i guess i meant to suffer and fight alone,3.0
5107,anyone else feel like they cant be friends with energic people because you cant keep up ive met a lot of people whom i genuinely liked and appreciated but they were just too upbeat for me to handle they would message me frequently and i just couldnt bring myself to respond adequately because i couldnt leave my bed to eat let alone reply to a stack of texts obviously they then feel as though i dont like them and we eventually drift away then boom there goes another individual you enjoyed the company ofhonestly fuck depression,3.0
5108,popwuping thats great do share if you find some pop skins for netbooks as well ,0.0
5109,yay for the sun im going to be travelling most of the day though  but uau anyway ,2.0
5110,took a benadryl to help me sleep earlierbig mistake now coffee cant wake me up should have known better ,2.0
5111,lamarjmorgan looks like you need a local marketing person im booked for  gigs in vegas that day ,0.0
5112,going to bed have to wake up at  am tomorrow morning  off to hurstville for some yumcha wooo,2.0
5113,has just taken her wet stinky shoes off now her hands smell like her feet ,2.0
5114,cuddlykatz arggg its spam ,2.0
5115,eating a cheeseburger and french fries from mcdonald  yumm ,0.0
5116,good night everyone  yah its evening in paris  i miss la  but iwill miss ouss if i leave ,2.0
5117,why does it have to be this way i debated posting for a while as soon as i felt i was feeling better my uncle killed himself then a week after my best friend tried too i dont understand how can i feel better am i being punished,3.0
5118,starting to become a fatty will be at nates semiar sunday letme see ifi remember how to do fma ,0.0
5119,made it homei am tired i received my order from kodakgallery and it was damaged in shipment  sadi have to call customer service,2.0
5120,swaggmissez me too ,2.0
5121,rt  his grandfather might be hospitalized thats why he was very quite amp sad few days ago i remember when his grandmother pas,1.0
5122,rt onues la depresión le puede ocurrir a cualquiera más de  millones de personas en el mundo la padecen hablar de ello ayuda elim,1.0
5123,superiorscot i dont care for murder terrorism or rape but it seems a lot of folks have their pet cause amp mine is people in general ,0.0
5124,xbllygbsn whats �   oh shh  dont need to lose anything  hahaa  lucky  im away in like  ,2.0
5125,rt  i said bye to miche at work today and it made me so sad 😭,2.0
5126,princesswendym haha im stalking of course  go to bed talk to you tomorrow ps  donnie doesnt know it yet but he wants my body,0.0
5127,hmm now seriously starting to freak out when i think of testweek ,2.0
5128,my best friend passed away this week i have gone through lots of losses over the past fee years some of my uncles grampas grandmas the usual but losing someone who i used to hang out everyday with drink with smoke with vent between each other going through lifes struggles with no care in the world because at least we had each other it is a damn tough pill to swallow i just dont know how to react to it i cant even cry about it everything is just so numb the disoriented feeling i felt when i heard the news still echos throughout my entire body i dont know what to do,3.0
5129,new real world episode i can not sense where the drama is going to come from hope its not a lame season ,2.0
5130, oh russ im so sorry she was a delightful looking lady im sorry for your loss ,2.0
5131,atlbombshell of course   i does competitions w  my team thing ,0.0
5132,im sitting here flicking through the argos catalogue and enjoying myself immensely  im so cool,0.0
5133,questions i already know the answers to ive been awake for hours and have stuff to do so why cant i get out of bed   im hungry so why cant i eat anything  ive finally got a job ive been trying to get for months so why do i want to quit  ive made it into a good school so why do i want to drop out  im losing the weight i worked so hard to gain so why do i feel like im made of lead  i tried medication for six months so why arent i better  ive been to therapy so why is it the only emotions i feel are sadness anxiety and emptiness  im very lonely and isolated and spent months working on my social skills so why cant i talk to people anymore  ive made it this far so why dont i want to keep going  everyone around me can do it so why am i so broken,3.0
5134,tommcfly is harry still alive his twitter is soooo quoteeewquot ,2.0
5135,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
5136,uknunattainable nothing much mi deh yaanother day for class  where u at work ,2.0
5137,i miss my crackberry ,2.0
5138, ,2.0
5139,negative side effects from my meds  anyone else a short historyive been on some form of ssri or snri medication for the past  years starting at  on zoloft then switching to lexapro im now  and have been on a moderate dose of cymbalta for at least the last  yearsmy meds have definitely helped with my anxiety and depression there is no doubt but ive been experiencing some side effects and they only seem to be increasing in intensity decreased appetite intense head rushes and a severe tremor in my hands  my doctor says this is all normal  unfortunate but normal  but it is honestly becoming almost debilitating  there are days when my tremor is so strong that i have difficulty writing  my question is has anyone else had an experience like this  is this really normal as my doctor claims  im not sure what to do and im honestly quite terrified to make any changes with my medication as its been such a challenge to manage the depressionanxiety battle until now  id appreciate any advice you can give  ,3.0
5140,datzmydj sad but true lmao,2.0
5141,kathassruff yo viv byen no drama no stress no trouble no jalousie no explication pou kesyon sex yon sex friend ka toujou jere sa,2.0
5142,twofourteen   blaugh im so sorry ,2.0
5143,lilang no problem hope learning web dev goes well for ya it can get frustrating but the payoff is amazing ,0.0
5144,i am being destroyed by my own mind when in reality i should be happy i have absolutely nothing to be sad about i come from a good home a good place and a good life for some reason one day before going abroad i realized i really wanted to be a famous actor i dont know where it came from but hey it just came i did a little theatre in high school and it was okay the thing is as time went on every time i saw a movie i became a little more jealouser now i cannot even watch a movie i am overcame with guilt depression and jealously the thing is i never wanted to want to be famous i dont want to want to be an actor its just there it is destroying me every day i am depressed and down i need help how do i feel better i am days away from jumping from my window to my death mentally i am unstable i feel like my leg has been cut off and someone shoved a thumb in the wound i cannot get over the pain only distract myself the thing is sometimes i feel okay but mostly i feel terrible i just see people on the big screen and i think if they did that so could i help please i am in so much mental pain,3.0
5145,is trying to find something to do today and cant wait until tonight ,0.0
5146,viveksingh good morning sir its a lazy saturday one of my frnds making lunch so going  her place then pune tweet up  what r ur plns,0.0
5147,everyone says its going to get better but thats well into the future and we are talking about the now do i just brush all of this off until it gets better or does it even get better not everything is a happy ending someone please i feel so empty ,3.0
5148,add us up on facebook multiply and myspace tell your friends  see you guys soon,0.0
5149,im going through a low point and i cant snap out of it everyone always tells me how happy i am and how im always in the best mood and how i make everyone happy around me meanwhile im breaking down on the inside i dont know how to handle this  no one suspects this so no one asks me this feeling eats away inside of me and i hide it i push it so far under the rug and hide it from everyone but it keeps coming back i dont know how i landed in such a dark place  and i dont know how i can come out of it ,3.0
5150,howardberry i know its pitiful have had insomnia since  so am used to it now ,0.0
5151,when others can see for the most part i like to think i handle depression and bleh in a moderately balanced way  but theres times that i slip and whoever im talking to notices through my eyes the emptiness inside and that want to cry my damage away it doesnt scare me much to have people know im not ok it just scares me to have people know just how empty i really am underneath that smile i offer theres days that i want to just dig into my flesh and rip out whatever is inside that just seems so broken and other days i wish i could just have a good little cry and let go hopefully one daythe real tragedy of being depressed is not finding out youre not ok but rather realizing you cant fix it ,3.0
5152,eish my gf isnt feeling well ,2.0
5153,i had a good link to one where a guy tried to grope a girl on the train but she  turned around and gave him an earfulvid is gone noe ,2.0
5154,thenewbradie hehehe i dotn think theyll get to read them  oh well i hope ur dad lets u and u get ur tickets,2.0
5155,samantharonson theres a toysrus website search gamecube on there its funny  xox,0.0
5156,our internal webserver spontaniously started crashing this morning  not having fun  ,2.0
5157,its only been  minutes ugh it feels like ive been here for hours ,2.0
5158,dont know what to do anymore every day i wake up i wanna die at the same time im scared of dying i feel like my life is all sort of fucked up and i cant talk about it to anyone my family never took depression as a real issue i cant talk to my girlfriend cause i dont want her to get into my mess and hurting her in the process im failing at college i have so much fucking anxieties i hate myself i feel like im just hurting everyone i love im only  but i feel like im already at the deadline im kinda hoping i got into an accident cause i feel like its easier for my loved ones to move on i dont know what to do,3.0
5159,so excited that missmojito is coming to visit i cant wait to see her and as always the lovely jlubird the hangover ,0.0
5160,so im home till  but i have nothing to do  grr,2.0
5161,omg tonight alive were epic at hype last night hahaha cam walked straight past us and we were like quotwaitomgomgomgomgquot ,0.0
5162,sore throat runny nose lethargy no fun ,2.0
5163,anxiety is so dead,2.0
5164,stfu and mind your business cuz 😭,2.0
5165,the beluga whale at the vancouver aquarium has just gone into labour kristen is shooting the birth ,0.0
5166,selyjonas hello how are you im not home yet but im tweeting you bayhey ,0.0
5167,inevitably the cat wins  im up gmornin ,0.0
5168,darrenporter hehenice try ,0.0
5169,rt fscottintexas life with depression is like a walk in a dense forest sunshine gets through a bit but the shadows hide wolves theyr,1.0
5170,replying comments ,0.0
5171,thelyricist yes thats what i think ,0.0
5172,reallyshecky i used to like mytweeplecom tweetsumcom and even the naughty twitterkarma but they all choke on me now ,2.0
5173,paulaabdul  why canceled your performance on letterman im so sad because it is less an option for you,2.0
5174,advice maybe i have not self harmed in  years but whenever i have bad feeling lately i cannot knock that feeling it doesnt matter how long it has been i still get the feeling that i want to i dont think i will but lately i keep getting it more and more and the feeling scares me i feel trash tonight tbh it is unlikely i will self harm just like any night but lately i have been having the bad thoughts that i had back in the day that scares me,3.0
5175,going to bed big day tomorrow first day in the disney internship program soo excited yet a bit nervous too  goodnight,0.0
5176,just one amazing day of happy waves new people sunshine and bakingbeing content is happiness ,0.0
5177,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,1.0
5178,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
5179,dealing with a childs mental illness i wake up and try to do things to help my son everyday but six months a year  later i am in same spot my son  struggles with mental illness hes got the full alphabet soup of diagnoses asd adhd odd mood disorder depression every eval they add another diagnosis and regardless of his diagnosis  he sorely needs help we had worked our way up to familybased therapy last year but we were discharged over the summer when my son went to see his dad i had asked his therapists about this two months before hand and they didnt tell me it would be an issue until arrangements were madehe was already at his fathers house thats my failing for allowing a lapse in services ive been actively working to get him services since he got his new case manager in august and it took him until the middle of october to get his eval done with the recommendation for services mobile therapy and tss the eval expired because theres such a high demand for services in this area that we had to go through the eval process again just last week  the issue im learning is that he has a autism diagnosis now which requires a certain type of certification for a mobile therapist which is harder to findhes struggling at school at home in public i see him struggle and it just literally kills me seeing him fall through one crack after another medications never start because insurance companies pharmacies and doctors never communicate then he refuses to take them and no one is any help on how to help give him medication its been nearly two months and were still waiting for one rx i cant even get him into outpatient therapy the therapist who sees my daughter is refusing to see him and the only other outpatient art therapist has no openings so now i have to try and expand that search to other providers all the while balancing my own mental illness and life as a single mom im exhausted and so frustrated ive put in effort and gotten no where im sorry this is long i dont know what im askinglooking for i just wanted to put this out there i guess i just needed a list to write down what im fighting for him i just really want to see him happy and carefree again how is this system so broken,3.0
5180,dealing with strong suicidal impulses triggered by relatively small stuff i dont know if any of you guys have this particular problem maybe its also total mood instability amp compounded lifetime traumas but here goes  today was another fairly uneventful day in bed ive been fatigued from a very heavy period suddenly returning to my old crippling menorrhagia after having a hysteroscopy dampc a year ago i got yelled at today for politely asking my parents to make more nutritious food in future rather than lazy food like pasta or takeout pizza all the time that my fast metabolism burns through right away makes me lose weight im arguably concerningly underweight usually makes me constipated and makes the fatigue worse ive been too fatigued to leave the house for a couple days now because all ive had to eat for all meals for a few days has been carbs that then creates this cycle that compounds itself the more carbs i eat and i have to get yelled at just for mentioning the physical state im in like ive done something wrong so i tried to cook something more nutritious while feeling so weak i could just fall over fucked it all up somehow and spent the next couple hours crying my eyes out and trying really hard not to go hang myself then thinking about a friend who i know would be devastated for life if i did end up going through with such a thing so i dont just do it  background is extensive physicallyverbally abusiveneglectful family history i was raped almost a decade ago and parents didnt care blamed me for it years of ptsd etc everything somehow always finds a way of getting worse over time but im at the stage where everyday bullshit going wrong just tips me over the edge like this and i feel i cant talk to anyone because either they wont care its an imposition its over something so trivial they would just believe im just looking for attention or it feels unjustifiable putting them on the spot for something nobody can do anything about in the present moment i cant call those counselling or mental health lines just for someone to talk to because the second i say that i have suicidal thoughts etc and some oxycodone in my house i have to go to hospital or theyll force me to once upon a time it took impending homelessness or an awful trigger to get me to this stage but now its just small shit,3.0
5181,smaulren hehe try it its raining and i need to take more photos today ,2.0
5182,i miss my friend harmony very much ,2.0
5183,todays my cake day and im finally feeling better ive been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for almost  years ive been on prozac for almost a year and finally im starting to feel better im getting back slowly but surely thanks to all who helped me through my episodes love yall ,3.0
5184,iamjonathancook me too ,2.0
5185,daveexplosm it was never that hot when i live back home ,2.0
5186,my poor puppy got his paw stuck ,2.0
5187,i really am useless i had a very important appointment to go to for my depression on jan  but i just didnt go my sister asked me when my appointment was and i just said i forgot even though i completely blew it off i justified to my sister that i have been working that i had simply forgotten that was complete bullshit i knew the moment i made the appointment that i would make any excuse not to go i lied to the only person who knows that i am not okay and she doesnt seem to know my sister also gave me a card with a number and she told me that my case manager said to call to make an appointment i feel like theres nothing actually wrong with me i just feel that i have no reason to be depressed i spent some time with my friends recently too and i had to put on a facade just so they didnt know something was wrong as i was walking home i realized that spending time with them didnt actually make me feel better i felt content for just a couple of hours with them when i realized it wasnt enough i just felt guilty like i had wasted their timei dont deserve what i have i take the things i have for granted i drown my pain in alcohol and weed i honestly wish i could just die,3.0
5188,fuck i knew that if i went to bed before  that i would wake up at  ive been trying to get back to sleep for  hours now ,2.0
5189,agenticecream glad to hear things are getting better  very glad    good night and ill see you around tomorrow,0.0
5190,sorocksteady youre right make that five good things ,0.0
5191,geofflloyd i agree geoff we should get some kind of campaign going ,0.0
5192,afatalincision  i know right,2.0
5193,watching the  hp on sky movie while everyone is out  sad enough i know all the lines so im talking along to it lol,0.0
5194,pawztoclawz  would love to but chasing some deadlines this weekend maybe another night thanks for the offer though ,0.0
5195,hilarious musical comedy tonight tragedy  what a fitting motto finals week chilling now and then freaking out next week ,0.0
5196,sore throat amp cough feels like razors ,2.0
5197,dianor youre never so cool ,2.0
5198,i feel so ill  work this always happens after the ac has been blowing all day  i may cry,2.0
5199,i found one that is very graceful aahahahaa ,0.0
5200,at the shop til  then home to an ohso empty house  soon to be refurnished thopatience patience,2.0
5201,im planning my first visit to an imax cinema this saturday going to manchester just to see transformers  in hd worth the  drive ,0.0
5202,so worried about his condition but i cant go alone in the hospital ,2.0
5203,parents say im driving them crazy with my depression and anxiety and it just makes me more upset i know they care because theyre letting me take medication and see someone but they just get mad at me for stuff when im trying my hardest to get better,3.0
5204,adamsmith have one for me ,0.0
5205, herbadmother just read your moms blog re same i want to reach thru the wires and just hug the hell out of all of ya esp your sis ,2.0
5206,derigiberbil believe meonly so many i allow on twitter you and marloessnoes are a big exception ,0.0
5207,i just had to put down my family dog of  years and i feel so sad all the time let me preface this by saying that ive had a history of anxiety and depression already im on an antidepressantantianxiety medication as well as birth control and concerta for my add i also smoke my weed vape every day i have all these tools and medications that are supposed to help me and they dont help me anymore i havent seen my friends and i dont want to put in the effort to do anything or even see them all i want to do is sleep i get hungry but i dont even want to eat im lonely as hell but i hate showing this side of me to anyone even my closest friendsanyways this last friday we finally put down my dog it actually toom some convincing with my parents because they didnt realize how many problems she faced every day finally when my dad realized it he wanted to get it done as soon as we could i knew it was inevitable but from the moment i got her i knew i would dread the day that i would have to say good bye we decided to do at home euthanasia because its what she deserved and we wanted her to be as comfortable as possible she died in her sleep in my arms probably dreaming about her favorite things we buried her in the backyard and my brother had the amazing idea to plant a flower tree next to where she was buried she died in the best way possible but im so extremely heartbroken i feel like she took a piece of my heart when she left me i think about her all the time and miss her every day and i cant shake the image of her last breath or her eyes only half open or even her body rotting underground and i hate it everyone tells me it will get better and be okay i know it will but in this moment im just hurting so much all i wanna do is curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep every day its hard for me to even go to work i just dont even know what to do,3.0
5208,at work chillin with my boyfriendhe goes home tomo morning ,2.0
5209,something changed ive been numb to nearly everything for the past few months i was basically living on autopilot but today all of a sudden i feel like something inside me broke now all i feel is this overwhelming sadness this is almost worse than feeling nothing,3.0
5210,everything is going wrong i feel so drained  im so so tired and i dont know what would make me happy other than death right now  i wish i wasnt such a wimp honestly pathetic scared to end my own lifei read about murders and so desperately wish it was me that was killed rather than the people that want to livemy workplace is closing down im moving to a new place but its so messy and theres about  as much work for the same shitty amount of money  i still live at home and will never be able to move out  i have no friends  i want to go to sleep and never wake up but i wont  ill be awake again tomorrow morning unfortunately,3.0
5211,annicalmfao yea it does suck if it aint thing its anotha i miss my comp     rio gmb,2.0
5212,kyleandjackieo i just got it too cant wait to see it ,0.0
5213,justxan why sighh ,2.0
5214,one year anniversary its been a year since i asked for help help that i should have got when it was still young and fresh at  but at the age of  i realised i needed help otherwise i would throw away my degree due to it being my final year even though id hoped i wouldnt be on medication for longer than  months being on them helps so much hopefully in  months time i can start coming off of my medication admitting i wasnt okay was the best thing guys men young and old please know its okay as it doesnt make you weak,3.0
5215,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
5216,updated my twitter background and picture updating myspace next too bad facebook does not let you customize and express your creativity ,2.0
5217,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
5218,losing my best friend this year has been one of the best but also one of the worst years of my lifei have met new people had very much fun and enjoyed my lifebut ive also had shitty things happen which have led me to the point of posting on the depression subredditto begin with ive had a shit roommate in uni he regularly purposely wakes me up before  am he passive aggressively complains about issues without telling me what the problem is he consistently insulted my friends because they didnt like his passive aggressive behavior and he hardly ever leaves the room this since august has tortured melater my bestfriend at uni that i had acquired over first term was obligated to drop out and it left me distraught i still dont know why it happened but i stand by her as she continues her life since shes left my friend group has changed dramaticallyat the beginning of this term i found another potential best friend here at uni and began building that relationshipbut one of my bullshit friends in my friend group has continually made jokes about us being gay lovers because we partake in more activities together than with the friend group as a wholethis has occured regardless of me asking my other friend to cease his incessantly irritating behavioryesterday everything broke off we got into a fight and the other friend continually made jokes about us fighting like lovers and it catalysed my need for distancetoday i have spent the lot of the day crying and attempting to complete a major assignmentbut ive also contemplated killing myself via  different methods and i dont know what to do with myself anymorei hate this uni and i hate the way i feel but i know that ive worked too long to off myself nowim fairly certain that i would never go through with it but i cannot help but think about ithas anyone else ever felt this,3.0
5219,todays exam was surprisingly not too bad too bad i didnt study ,2.0
5220,finally timbaland is back to work with missy and ginuwine only one missing aaliyah  ,2.0
5221,enjoyed a hot but nice stay in hell  fb,0.0
5222,tymlee glad that youre alright drive safe ,0.0
5223,vermont  without internet  gettin it soon though,2.0
5224,going out in public,1.0
5225,finally on our way to louisiana ,0.0
5226,i so cant wait for the beach austin houston bday vegas but i can wait for school ,2.0
5227,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
5228,but seriously i wont be active for now i dont know how long ill be its just for my own mental health i know ,1.0
5229,damohopo not too bad better than last night  hungry,0.0
5230,sitting at the mccarran airport in vegasmy flight doesnt leave til  ,2.0
5231,i have severe anxiety and depression it is crippling my ability to do well at school i have lots of homework i need to do but i cant get myself to do it i need help fixing myself i have really bad anxiety and depression though ive never been professionally diagnosed im sure of it and have been dealing with anxiety since sub  years oldit has affected my day to day life so much that a few years ago i have been threatened to be taken to court for truancy i decided to get a ged instead i felt ive been mislead by my counselor and ultimately regret getting a ged since its inferior to a high school diploma this didnt help me mentally as i thought of my future prospects more and moreim now in community college funded my a program i got my ged from they help pay for a aa degree and potentially can help me transfer to a  year university which is what im hoping to dohowever it hasnt been going well for me i failed one out of two of my first classes i took since then my gpa has been tanking and i dont know what to do ive been thinking of quitting doing stupid stuff doing to see a doctor and taking a break none of which i have had the courage to domy schedule is messed up and i dont have the motivation to do homework i think it is because of me hating school so much i just dont want to do anything related to it each time i have to open my schools website to do my homework i feel a rush of anxiety i would think what would i have over due now can i still turn in late work etc this means i do things either last minute or way after due date if theres a test i uaully study hours before the test i would also hate myself for not going to see a doctor since they can then provide me with exceptions at school things like late work that couldve gotten me a much better grademy schedule is something like this  wake up around evening eat and do things to keep me entertained whether that be video games andor watching videos  continue to stay up until around  where i usually go to sleep  wake up at around  on school days  come back from school around  and usually go sleep a couple hours after  repeat there are of course variations and exceptions but this is how every day is for me i have lots of things i want to accomplish my room is a mess and ive been wanting to clean it for a long time now i also want to get back into cycling to help get myself outside but again i cant get myself to do it and of course homework and school work in general i feel these are much harder for me because ai just want to get away from anything related to school once i come back i just dont want it on my head im not sure what to do other than to see a medical professional i just cannot no matter how much i know i need to to get myself to do it,3.0
5232,cocabeenslinky awww ur turn next time ,0.0
5233,just finished my first calc exam woot woot time to workout ,0.0
5234,i really dont think i will be going out to tmoms tonight i am feeling crappy and im still broke ,2.0
5235,finally got our warped ticketsssss ,0.0
5236,stellery  do you think youll pick her back up again sometime,2.0
5237,pixars up was depressing but still good  the partly cloudy short was cute,0.0
5238,drodipistolwhip pretty sad right now,0.0
5239,diamondblue aww damn thats messed up  yall get there just be patient boo ,0.0
5240,i dont know why i feel like this i just dont know im sorry if i ramble a bit but i feel like right now i really need to reach outmost of the time i feel really depressed and just all around not okay but on the days where i feel happier im just genuinely having a great day and feel a lot better about myself i feel bad like i shouldnt have this like i dont deserve this and most of the time i dont even know why but i feel like i should be feeling terrible most of the time it can really ruin things for me i really dont know why i feel this way at all maybe i deserve it on other days but i dont want it to ruin a special day thats coming up soon for me does anyone else have thissorry if that didnt make sense at all i just dont know how to describe it,3.0
5241,just in the pic ill be lookin straight at the camera with like eyeliner and im seruous face and all and then all black clothes ,0.0
5242,i thought it would be funny to punch linda in her pusie but shortly thereafter it was evident she was on her p    ,2.0
5243,mburleson a couple are pretty good overall its not the best theyve done  ,2.0
5244,needs to study up schedule and pass the  along with some other tests before my july  review ,2.0
5245,hey all so i a m have had the thought of suicide for a very long time now i feel like my decision is to just end it all but i am still a teen so i wonder if i can still fix it i hate going out because of my insecurities and a lot more but mainly due to one insecurity that im too embarrassed to say i wake up every single day unhappy and i dont remember a time waking up happy it sucks so much im just stuck and i dont know what to do all this pain from the inside is so strong it hurts me physically as well if that makes sense haha,3.0
5246,is lovin the weather but will it last probably not ,2.0
5247,two more hours in this place ,2.0
5248,spending the day with my boyshitting the gymthen birthday bbq for one of my best friends ,0.0
5249,morning to all hope its a nicer day where you are compaired to here its going to rain all day and the next  days ,2.0
5250,wish we didnt go to dennys we would be home by now  i might cry,2.0
5251,warningmark ya super sucky i need to go to summer school too ,2.0
5252,damn straight boi ,1.0
5253,has to go to dance class tonight ,2.0
5254,pixiesmum try olive oil with salt on it ,0.0
5255,ive just made a new background ,0.0
5256,why is it so hard sometimes i just want to scream and tell everyone that im not okay i miss having people in my life i miss feeling like someone cared and actually thought about me i just want to reach out and tell them i miss you i miss us being friends i miss being a part of your life but i cant i dont know why but i cant bring myself to do it ive been playing around with the idea for months now but i just cant,3.0
5257, found ya im just gonna ask to be your friend so then youll have mine  its jillyyyy,0.0
5258,hi samthanks for the infoitll help ,0.0
5259,jfilms re so the thugs know whats coming at them ,0.0
5260,i shouldnt waste my college years hiding in my dorm i just turned  and im so close im pulling a hermit lifestyle similar to howard hughes but i should stop that i should go out talk to strangers i just need to stop being such a hermit ,3.0
5261,restylestari hbu nyesh   ah yepi lke her too bt my bro prfr karen p lol yeah bt hes soo cool in tat game  cool  is me xd,0.0
5262,o finale of antm tonightt if only i lived in america ,2.0
5263,dineanddashed you always forget now you have that restraining order against them ,2.0
5264,xtranormal are you guys having problems today i keep getting  error messages trying to get to the site ,2.0
5265,jurthys indeed but i got some bad news for you   trying to forget but will mail it later on,2.0
5266,going to meers w the fam ,0.0
5267,juriered gentrational stevehofmeyr i am so sad for you and your family and pray for your safety you would be httpstcodpzwouujgx,1.0
5268,sometimes i feel like normal sometimes i dont even know i made this throwaway account for this im  and i just have no clue anymore sometimes i feel like shit and want to stop existing for an eternity but at the same time i dont want to go yet i feel super conflicted and noone knows about this ive looked at some articles about depression and it looks like im depressed but at the same time i feel awesome on other days i sleep bad im lazy and sometimes i skip breakfast just to be on time for school sometimes i want to be sick just so i can skip school but i still enjoy time with my friends and at the same time i want to be at home alone doing nothing,3.0
5269,i think im dead inside in six years now ive been able to cry once last year and it was pretty bad otherwise i feel kinda sad all the time but even in the saddest moments i cant cry sometimes i would really love to i never get angry but trust me ive had good reasons to be im never really stressed or scared i feel happy sometimes but i dont really even enjoy being happy to be honest i prefer sad music i spend most of my social time staring at people awkwardly i have full nights insomnia oncetwice a week regular insomnia the other nights ive never been able to come while having sex i dont know anyone in this case around me is this a known thing am i missing something like what am i doing wrong i have tried a lot of thing  get in a group of friends go to parties girlfriends i like discussions and watching people but that doesnt makes me really happy as someone can be i dont really have desires or interests i said i kinda feel sad all the time but its closer to the sensation of being empty all the time i cant get really sad is there something that looks obvious i should do its clear that ive missed a step somewhere in my life but now i dont know what to do and i dont even know if i want those things to change im  btw,3.0
5270,the stickit note i found at work quotyoure a plonker do some work  quot the things i endure at work lol,0.0
5271,waiting to go homes p gna sit in the park ,0.0
5272,acummings i am ecstatic client can do a deed in lieu of so monday i will take my sign amp lockbox off happy another satisfied client ,0.0
5273,i was feeling fine until todays wave of depression hit me so suddenly and so intensely that i have a throbbing headache,3.0
5274,am i allowed to be depressed i feel as though i have no right to be depressed i come from a well off family though with a lot of issues in it i do have major health issues since i was born but i have come to terms with that for the most part i graduated from a good university and have great friends i should have nothing to complain about but i constantly feel pointless like nothing means anything i feel empty and i just do not want to do anything if everything just stopped tomorrow i would be okay with it i feel though i have no right to feel or think this way there are people who are way worse off and unhappy and i should just suck it up and learn to be better i dont know how to feel,3.0
5275,happy mothers day   ,0.0
5276,i have a headache ,2.0
5277, really sorry to hear that thats awful ,2.0
5278,i need everyone to know this someone out there will make you so happy one day some out there will make you feel okay again someone out there will treat you right everyone has a someonei almost lost my someone tonight my someone means the world to me and he has made me feel so happy happier than ive ever felt today might not be good but tomorrow will be better tell your loved ones how much they mean to you because you might be the only one to say that to themtell them youre there for themtell them that you care about themone day you will find your someone until then keep fighting youre stronger than you think if youre tired rest but dont give up we cant give up outlive your enemies prove to them that youre better than them i believe in youeverything will be okay trust mei love you,3.0
5279, and yet again no ladyluck beside me ,2.0
5280,riskybusinessmb im so excited for your new music  i know its going to be great,0.0
5281,a list of reasons my regretsi regret giving bjs to older boysi regret letting people take advantage of mei regret being a teachers peti regret letting people tell me who i am because now i dont know who i ami regret being the equipment manager for the softball and volleyball teamsi regret letting people feel sorry for mei regret being friends with the teachersi regret letting my so called friends in my life mag cor and codi regret coming out because now ive got doubtsi regret leaving my first job because i would probably be a manger nowi regret telling people i was back in school because since my mom passed away i have had to quit and now im lying to peoplethere are so many more regrets this is what keeps me up at night this and not knowing who i am,3.0
5282,kellsiea haha i tried but i think i have insomnia or something ,2.0
5283,only two options left i am writing this due to my failing mental healthi have thought a lot about life recently how short sudden and unexpected it can bei have given a lot of thought about many things actually things i like thinking about some things i dont like thinking about most importantly about life and deathi have enjoyed life i have enjoyed its ups and downs i met a lot of wonderful people along the way i spent a lot of time wandering and exploring i have experienced a lot of things this magnificent world can possibly offeri have seen snow i almost drowned at sea i have a scar from a head injury i had when i was  i loved italian pasta i missed prosciutto old italian architecture i met gorgeous boys got my heart broken a couple of times fallen in love many timesi have seen concerts i watched my favorite bands perform i went to see marvel movies at the cinema alone i treated my coworkers ice cream on my  birthday i brought my dog to my favorite university campusi have seen death i experienced immense pain i did not totally understand i have witnessed tragedy right before my eyes i saw my dad smash a cup of glass on the floor in front of my mom i have been blackmailed about my sexuality i have felt lonely after migrating in another country i questioned my faith i saw blood i felt grief i saw deathonce again i am writing this because in the next few days theres only two options for me to choose fromlife or deathi can choose to go on or not entirely up to me and i know that whichever i choose i am no longer facing regret or would think about second chances my decision will no longer make me doubt myself there is only two ways to go there is no longer anything to worry about,3.0
5284,people with mental health problems need access to care ,0.0
5285,sporktheemu haha i think its safe to say that i didnt sleep at all last night  stupid insomnia plus im fraking hungry ahhhghgsg,2.0
5286,not one half decent black suit in glasgow apparently got a grey one trimmed with black  i look rather suave if i dont say so meself ,0.0
5287,crap i lost my list  damn it,2.0
5288,i have an extra ticket to see neilhimself on monday who wants it  or highest bidder above that  ,0.0
5289,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
5290,raised by horrible parents been bullied throughout my childhood and teens been used by a lot of people and i finally thought i found the love of my  and he is a lousy shithead what do i do now i give up i think i was not meant to be around good people i wanna break i want to give into my demons and be the fucking grossest person ever i feel so alone i have no hope anymore im crying as i type this my suicidal thoughts are thru the roof i wanna do it my luck with people is literally the worst i dont know its like i have some fucking bad omen or some shit i officially hate humans its like i was born to be tormented by them im damaged beyond words i am literally the definition of fucked is there anything i can do,3.0
5291,almost slit my arms yesterday i was making food and played with the knife i had it at my skin but didnt make a cut im in a possible break up with my gf of  years my condition has taken a toll on her and she doesnt really know if she can cope being in a relationship with person who has a hard mental illness i havent had the best year so far and i dont blame her well see what happens lifes strange,3.0
5292,starting to feel like i am never going to get a reply from any of the peope that i try to talk too ,2.0
5293,i miss my dancing days i wish i had that back again  i cant wait til it starts back up,2.0
5294,uve got to love britains got talent  ox,0.0
5295,cant sleep apparently my body doesnt care i have to work tomorrow ,2.0
5296,going to the doctor tomorrow need a bit if help hi i really hate doing this but last months were hell and especially the last  were one of the saddest times of my life i really hate saying that i have depression because i know people out there with depression have it so bad thats why i want to go to the doctor tomorrow to see if i have depression before throwing any kind of selfdiagnosis into the room i dont know how to talk to the doctor because i kind of have to explain the state im in without touching the core i really dont want tocant say what is the cause thats because last time i digged down into myself to check whats wrong with me i had my first mental breakdown that it happend was a good thing at least now i know something is wrong but talking about its cause or my feelings in general become hell im lucky that im not suicidal again but i was suicidal when i was a younger and i kind of had a suicide note it was more like a good bye letter but not specifically intended to when im going to kill myself running away was also an option i really dont want to reach that point again and i noticed that i started misusing drugs a lot more often now only alcohol and cigarettes so getting myself fixed now is kind of crucial can you guys help me out on how to approach my doctor about itim  years old so i can handle doctors and everything on my own and no parents are not an option to talk with they are also a part of the problem and they are pretty closedminded cant blame it to them different times diffrent beliefs but they would only take is as a joke or think being depressed could be fixed with being happy and not sadso they are def not the right people to talk with,3.0
5297,hates having to explain to oaps why they cant have my seat on the bus  dam health,2.0
5298,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
5299,maggiesmind pgoodness cannedlaughter alotofnothing donmillsdiva  swimming was fun today i love my new suit ,0.0
5300,going to clean  then off to play a killer game of mario kart,2.0
5301,dentist went off without a hitch lets hope this afternoons doctor appointment goes as wellbooster shots ,2.0
5302,coriluvnthedon yeah and no peeing allowed lmao  so the girls that took my pics with rob and ethan still havent sent me them ,2.0
5303,how to start living after growing up depressed hi sorry this is gonna be long but i hope somebody can give me some advice tldr i dont know how to function because i spent the past few years wanting to die all the time i go to therapy but i find these worries to be so vague and such a large topic that the takeaway always ends up as something like dont worry so much and i want to get past that stage of coddling myself so i thought maybe getting some more opinions might help also im new to reddit so im not sure how this works exactly sorry if this is off topic somehow or i posted in the wrong subredditmy life until nowso i grew up pretty sheltered have a lovely supportive family and  older brothers so im the youngest too we are well off financially so no money troubles i never had huge problems getting through school gradeswise so i didnt have to work as hard as most others in my school i always do everything very loweffort because im lazy and im really bad at making myself do things i dont want to im used to studying taking up maybe like  of my free time at most what im saying is i never had to work hard so now i dont know how im also anemic so i get really tired and i need a lot of sleepwhen i was around  i started getting really depressed and anxious i was suicidal a lot and couldnt go to school every day bc i was always so stressed out drained and tired from doing nothing at all lol i started going to therapy and taking meds my parents again being really supportive never making me feel like i was being a nuisance or anything i did start to get better slowly and with some rebounds is that what you call it like i would get worse again many times and feel frustrated but during that time i learned to surround myself with positive things take it easy do everything make myself feel happy in my last year of high school things started to get really stressful for my standards at least and i started self harming to cope with it luckily i got a boyfriend that year who was again really supportive and from that point i started to improve drastically its been not quite a year since then and i havent felt suicidal for more than a day at a time also have only self harmed maybe  times i tried to work at a daycare but it was so overwhelming to me on the first day i had to go to the bathroom to cry at least  times i left halfway through the  day and never came back i still feel like i shouldve tried harder but i just couldnt take it fsrmy current situationi just turned  after quitting that job at the daycare i started studying art history which interests me personally so thats going pretty well im not taking as many classes as recommended but at least im doing something also started going to the gym and meeting up with friends more often the thing is until now i have been surrounded by such an overwhelming amount of support people have always been nice to me im always lucky so when something does go wrong i just flip the fuck out the other day i accidentally stepped on a guys phone at the gym and when he told me i got so panicked i felt bad and so disproportionately guilty the rest of that day im very dependent on people around me im used to getting  hours of sleep doing pretty much only what i want to do taking very good care of myself etc im still trying to go off antidepressants but its scary and gonna take a while still ive never worked a job before and that intimidates me a lot too sometimes i think about all these adult responsibilities i still have no idea about and i feel so overwhelmed i get back into that feeling of wanting to stop existing i want to know how i can learn how to function as an adult and not as a depressed teenager whose top priority is getting through the day and taking care of herself i want to learn to be self sufficient self confident self disciplined so how do i go about thatthanks in advance and also please let me know if theres a better subreddit to post this to,3.0
5304,good night twitter world have a good sunday ,0.0
5305,lakermami lol baaaalin so how did u like it today did u stay till the end i got sunburned ,2.0
5306,i love the sun so much great day ,0.0
5307,heyy good morning everybody  there is so much sun in france today  i love it  its my brows birthday today hes  now  my god,0.0
5308,feel like death now ,2.0
5309, my armshoulder has been killing me for the past few days ,2.0
5310,doing the control hw wow how much fun  loool,0.0
5311,is too happy nothing can take that away ,0.0
5312,yeah go lakers  im going to bed all smiles goodnight twits tomorrow ,0.0
5313,had a great time at the party  at work now ,2.0
5314,moving to calif  has apparently renewed my need for caffeine in the am just bought beans at peets most beans there not fair trade ,2.0
5315,reasons to not kill myself i have nothing left i lost the absolute majority of my friends i disappoint my parents with every day that goes by i lost all my interests and hobbies my grades are falling my best friend live thousands of kilometers away and i cant trust the  friends i have left give me reasons why i shouldnt end my life tonight,3.0
5316,claireboyles good tip but then my boss would read  exactly what im supposed to do and would know where i was with the project ,0.0
5317,yes to answer the questions that is an official status update john and i are engaged ,0.0
5318,stevebuscemi hahahahaha totally awesome you made my life ,0.0
5319,lisaagarden check out ubertwitter if you can all the cool kids are doing it  httpubertwittercom from a fellow twitter addict,0.0
5320,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
5321,if anyone would like to talk im here i remember my worst nights crying to sleep and wishing there was one person i could talk to i didnt have anyoneif youre having it rough or just like to talk to someone im hereim not a normal person who hasnt seen a bad day in his life ive gone thru a lot of shit and still dealing with mental illness so i relate to youim here if you like to reach out,3.0
5322,which of you crackberry owners have tried the new slacker upgrade  looking for reviews ,0.0
5323,renzybenzy woah you finally have a twitter account ,0.0
5324,rt nashnsmile someone how are youme im finemy mental health,0.0
5325,rt believixmagic la taza te amo gracias por tanto ,1.0
5326,hello hello     myself marshal     it is a nice forum  promo junkie  marshal ,0.0
5327,nirty i agree diversity of characters is a good thing gotta have  to love  to hate and  to not be sure about ,0.0
5328, yes pure awesomeness  but omj i cant find root beer umm my house sucks at life psh ,2.0
5329,oomirls was listening to a sad song playlist last nights cos its on their spotify activity hope theyre gucci and httpstcottnuhhlgxf,1.0
5330,tevetot almost tyrion amp jamie just had their brief reunion its been so damn good heard feast isnt as good ,2.0
5331, on our way nowits an afternoonevening thing going but wo sis in law who is ill  so im the lone girl in the group,2.0
5332,rt sosadtoday its my depression and ill do what i want with it,1.0
5333,not haveing a very good day   blast off,2.0
5334,emeralddiscount we both dont believe them but its good they know jj knew straight away they were here im like security ,0.0
5335,im going to bed no school tomorrow i am finally freeeee ,0.0
5336, i understand   been researching this stuff for years  finding out more and more  makes me so sad ,0.0
5337,i am super tired ,2.0
5338,had such a good birthday far too much food far too many cocktails  feeling a liiiittle rough today thank you all for your messages ,0.0
5339,i am so happy keve is here for early mothers day lets be quiet he drove all night and is sleeping  ,0.0
5340,a poem i wrote after a recent very rough breakup felt compelled to share please be kind why me i thought i had finally found the one  that the rest of my life had finally begun  a girl so amazing that each day i questioned  why me  she sat in my car and it was love at first sight  i knew i would always remember that night  because deep down i knew inside  i wanted to make her my bride  she was the light at the end of my tunnel   my angel to help me when i was in trouble  always showing me how much she cares  she was truly the answer to my prayers  though sometimes we would argue with spite  thoughts of a future with her seemed so bright  little did i know i would soon be seeing white  like getting knocked out during a fight  she was my one and only  but i was her one of many  never have i felt so lonely  tossed aside like a worthless penny  although our love has perished  my memories of her will always be cherished  but my hopes of a happily ever after  now just dangle from the rafters  there are things i with i could rewrite  but there are things you just cant reignite  now i sit and cry with one question  why me,3.0
5341,just finished watching milk   that was so sad yet so inspiring ,2.0
5342,azblueeyes gnight chele  tweet dreams ,0.0
5343,rt nationsbaby seeing fat girls comfortable enough in their bodies to wear crop topstight fitting clothes makes me so happy cos like the,0.0
5344,going home see you at night in local time ,0.0
5345,maureenjohnson good luck with the trapeze thing im sure youll do great and live through it but if not i call ghost in a jar ,0.0
5346,its me and the headache going for round  headache wins with a knockout ,2.0
5347,kbright lol ya i cant sleep  head hurts that much,2.0
5348,i just realized not sure if this is the right place for this sorry i just dont know where to go i need to get it outthis summer i fooled around a lot one night i got pushed into doing something i didnt want to do something at  in the morning on my couch when i just wanted to go to bed ive told the story a few times and all my friends reactions have been pretty similar but i just brush it off i never thought about it really i honestly forget about it a lot but a guy said his name to me a few days ago someone i never talk to someone who ive never had an actual conversation with when im lying in my bed listening to music i think about those blissful  hours i spent with the boy i like i always think about how he gently rubbed his hands up and down in a smoothing motion and it always makes me happy when im not with him but today those hands werent hs they were his his hands that pressed down on my hips when i said stop i dont want to its too late im too tired someone will wake up stop no it hurt ive never really believed that sex can hurt it always felt so good even if it wasnt in a good way but now i cant stop feeling the places his hands pressed into my body i kissed him back i know i did and i know he counts it as a success and not in the creepy perverted way he genuinely counts that as losing his virginity i never added that night to my body count and he probably doesnt think i actually meant no i mean i did kiss him back i kissed him goodbye and now when i try and think of hs arms around my waist his soft and gentle forehead kisses his goodbye hugs i just think of how his hands felt on my hips and on my thighs now when i think of hs chest against mine i think of how it didnt feel too good when h went to the wrong place even though he completely respected me and stopped when i said i didnt want to its like that one boy made all my sweet teenager romance memories into a dark place one i wish i could stop feeling i hate that i feel this now its been so long since that night and i never really thought about it but it hit me like a ton of bricks i want forget it like i did for the last  months i dont want to think about it i just want mymind to stop replaying that night over and over again i want my mind to stop poisoning the magical moments that made my stomach have butterflies i hate myself for feeling this i want it to stop,3.0
5349,i am a quiet monster not a scary monster not a darkness monster not even a cunning monster im a skulking monster a gaping maw on the other side of the room existing only to suck the life out of everything around me i do it with my silences my presence my inability to articulate or communicate i make my children uncomfortable is she sad is she angry if we talk to her will her words slice through like a hot knife my husband is lucky hes healthy minded a motivated social active individual he goes goes goes goeslets ride bikes lets redo the backyard lets go camping in the mountainsi freeze at his enthusiasm i dont know how to be excited anymore i have little value other than thing that makes the laundry disappear im the thing that answers texts about where their favorite pair of shoes escaped off toim the thing that gives answers when asked whats for dinnerthey dont know that im also the thing that cries alone im the thing that feels like hitting myself im the thing that eats food when no one is looking im the thing that shakes all over when people look at me in public and im getting worse at hiding it im a stupid unskilled uneducated mentally ill physically ill pile of shit i drag my loved ones down none of this matters i should go i wish they would release me,3.0
5350,rt ezekielfiguero my grades and mental health are deteriorating and it is taking every ounce of strength in my body to get out of bed ,2.0
5351,woohoo dragons qualify for next years heineken cup ,0.0
5352,mitchelmusso whoaa thats so cool btw congratz on ur album i love hey ,0.0
5353,herbmentor that insta garden looks great slowly building up mine ,0.0
5354,i miss my dog  i still remember i wish i could see her one more time rip cody its been a year already,2.0
5355,apurplepatch hee he is a national treasure ,0.0
5356,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
5357,worries for a close friends well being and hopes theyre ok dont know what id do if something happened to them ,2.0
5358,i am fucking illiterate and also a moron sad,2.0
5359, gladly  its a great photo    thanks for following me  im glad to learn of dc shutterbugs  great info on the site,0.0
5360,blood results inits good news thank you jesus ,0.0
5361,   check best buy  lots of good buys on laptops every week no i dont work for best buy,0.0
5362, debauchery i dont know the meaning of the word ill have to be educated ,0.0
5363,xcocochanel no  i have to fly to grafton to play hockeywish i could skip it haha,2.0
5364,  gotta have the drop top in so cal ,0.0
5365,finally up an movin missed the view tho ,2.0
5366,rt mpruedie you survive  life challenges and come tweet suicide isnt the answer really cmon,1.0
5367,wmhsrebelmom yea back when i was a baby like you thats what i thought  not so much anymore ,2.0
5368,jedimasterlucy mrs fields cookies are amazing mmmmmmm i want one now ,2.0
5369,went to yogurt fun for some yogurt fun ,0.0
5370,showerclassand then who knows maybe time with the boo ,0.0
5371,tonymast and once you get rich and famous i can say i knew him from the start and i helped with the pressure ,0.0
5372,somebody kill me ive turned my best friend against me because i cant get over her  i hate me  i wouldnt mind dying right now,3.0
5373,rt ohadelaide dming is way just not for me dear god i dont know how yall do it i just want to play my characters and enjoy the story,0.0
5374,kapuya ibalik sad didto para magpa counter sign 😫,2.0
5375,packing to go to sweden ,0.0
5376,sherrymarquez ha both are my heroes ,0.0
5377,damn it i wish i went to ai ,2.0
5378,i am sitting in the anual meeting butt had gone numb ,2.0
5379,is enjoying his birthday ,0.0
5380,anea really id about convinced myself it wasnt ,0.0
5381, lol stop caps locking i feel like youre yelling at me ,2.0
5382,rt jontalton tbt phoenix in the great depression and the  saved again by the federal government new photo gallery ,2.0
5383,i finished  so proud of myself,0.0
5384,just a rant guys this is all someone is being lovely to me and trying very patiently to get me to get help and my honest response to this is i dont want help i want to die of course i dont say that i say ill see how i feel tomorrow etc and its just so sad because i dont even know what stops me from getting help but it definitely does not feel like an option and all i want to do is rant to this person about the said feeling of i dont want help i want to die but i will not do that or anything like that because they are being rational and helpful and nice and im just going to have to be positive when interacting with them and sink deeper into awful feelings my brain makes for no reason at all and i just needed to say all this it does not feel accurate now that its written but it rarely feels as good as you think it will to express things heck anyway thats all thank you for reading,3.0
5385,mairataylor selenagomezi just met taylor from cosmo radio and freaked out she gives the best advice ever ,0.0
5386,spphotoart oooh did ya miss me i have been busy and sick but im still here ,0.0
5387,new year maybe it will be better then  hope you got some presents cause i am not ,3.0
5388, itll be okay you gave her the best life she could have  thats what really matters ,0.0
5389,my mom is at work googlin full lace wigs lmao she gets paid to talk to ppl wat a great fuckin job ,0.0
5390,had a good night but feels quite grim today ,2.0
5391,bigfolio   yuck dont think im in the islands anymore ,2.0
5392,anoushka but thats the whole point of twitter ,0.0
5393,brain vs feelings i know that i have accomplished many things in my life i know that many people really like mebut i feel like someone who is useless and a burden to othersa very big fraction of my timethats why i am crying right now,3.0
5394,is taking the samstag nacht dvd collection home thats legendary ,0.0
5395,chanpretty thanks ,0.0
5396,i have no idea what to do with my life i probably have high functioning depression and social anxiety around  years ago the life seemed like its getting better but for the past few months its been unbearable since the last summer ive been feeling like shit i went to the uk for  months to find a job and get some money but now when i calculate all the costs and how shit it made me feel i feel even worse i had been having panic attacks back in that summer and fortunately i havent had them since thentho i still feel so hopeless im in a final year of highschool my grades are one of the highest in my class and my mock exams results would make me able to go pretty much any uni but im afraid of making any decision i dont even know if i should go there im afraid of losing a few years of my life just to get a degree that might be useless and even if not id probably get a job that i dont like since i dont really have any hobbies or things i could turn into my future careeri barely leave my room i have some pretty good friends but it doesnt help at all i just do the bare minimum to live i know i could use my potential much better but i just cant motivate myself to do anything more a month ago i met a girl in an online gameweve really clicked from the very first moment and weve been talking and texting a lot since then and it turned out we have a mutual crush on each other the only problem is that we live  km from each other and it makes my feel so bad cause id love to at least meet her irl but the distance makes it almost impossiblesorry for any mistakes im not a native speaker correct me if i made any itll help me a lot ,3.0
5397,has acute bronchitis ,2.0
5398,national starwars day today may the fourth be with you ,0.0
5399,i feel surprisingly alert considering the abundance of alcohol last night and the lack of sleep this morning ,0.0
5400,backstreetboys omg just the rumour about your coming to germany aaaandtotally chaos  what are you doing with us ,0.0
5401,phobos read below plz  ,0.0
5402,nrgradioke kamenegoro deejaykace kybeness nrgbreakfastclub the class lines are becoming clearer the moment it ,0.0
5403,nicoleeex indeed  well its almost  in the morning so i better go because i think im starting to hallucenate love ya xo,0.0
5404, these niggas is coughing all around me fuck  im not really a germaphob but got damn wheres the clorox wipeslysol spray amp hand san ,2.0
5405,ill limping about feels like my leg muscle has locked ,2.0
5406,mental health evaluation im a senior in high school and recently talked to the counselor at my school about feeling depressed and empty talking is only a short time solution for me i would like to be prescribed something but can regular doctors do that also would they be able to evaluate me,3.0
5407,going to be lazy lay in my bed and watch a bit of pinkpop and maybe greys anatomy  tired i am ,0.0
5408,trump is leaking  httpstcomttbpjqlfi  ptsd depression anxiety trauma ,2.0
5409,i just need to cry all my stressangerand sadness out ,2.0
5410,cannot get rid of the klutz in me roar i hate it  ,2.0
5411,finding signal in my house  ,0.0
5412,nkgallo   yeah get some time in to say goodbye  maybe it will allow you some peace with the situation,2.0
5413,rt onlyonenetra true it is really sad when some literature demeans entire language and the followers both i feel this can be overcomed,1.0
5414,eating papajohns and watching milk with auzzy ,0.0
5415,ruggybear yes he gets noticed for that more than anything else   good screen time,0.0
5416,travelwriticus heart bleeds about  c on my travels cross england today ,2.0
5417,starscape tonight yezzzzzzzzzzzzir ,0.0
5418,ooops glad i didnt paste my bank account password ,0.0
5419,ugh its soo beautiful outside glad i have to work ,2.0
5420,devinenews i think thats whats giving me a fever ,2.0
5421,showingmyassets smiling in accord in texas ,0.0
5422,still havent got regular lunch friends ,2.0
5423,oh youre so charming but i cant do it ,2.0
5424,first day back at work  a sundayrubbish,2.0
5425,rt heartbreak whats depression likeits like drowning except you can see everyone around you breathing,1.0
5426,gamehouse i am seriously missing some caffeinemy bf thinks i drink too much soda so we have to go a week without any soda  lol,2.0
5427,well im off to open by night weather doesnt look too good ,2.0
5428,realworldobject yes thats part of it but a separate issue  i think issues apply to all media types ie beware rel on conneg ,2.0
5429,wishing i had a trekkie fan friend to see the new star trek with ,2.0
5430,goplano ht  hat tip ,0.0
5431,fried mac n cheese mudslide and my gay darling tnassri ,0.0
5432,hahahaha wellno but it seems they are getting creepier by the minute im good  how are you jcleyendecker,0.0
5433,so damn tired another long day trw ,2.0
5434,rt brookodile this is not even an exaggeration for people with hardcore social anxiety or depression i legit pop off this hard when i hav,2.0
5435,you know when a song keeps you awake had to hear some laurie anderson only to find out quothome of the bravequot is out of print on dvd ,2.0
5436,im a piece of shit exploiting a tragedy to validate my depression i just needed to get something off my chest ive been struggling with depression for almost  years now i tried opening up to somebody about it before but it ruined everything between us so i just keep it to myself ive been putting on a very positive facade in front of everyone and try to cheer people up as much as i can its been getting more and more exhausting as time goes on ive always hated myself for feeling the way that i do because i have no reason to be depressed my life has been pretty decent and theres been nothing insanely wrong with it a couple weeks ago a family member passed away i felt sad that he was gone and that he didnt have a peaceful death but i didnt cry like i expected i would i didnt mourn as long as i thought i would i just felt numb which was nothing new though i hadnt seen this person in six years i was close to him for the majority of my life i didnt understand why it wasnt hitting me as hard as it should have recently i was surrounded with a bunch of people including some friends i didnt want to be there because that day i was feeling especially exhausted but i felt bad because i had avoided hanging out for such a long time already so i forced myself to go it was a lot harder than usual for me to act normal that day and one of my friends noticed and asked if everything was okay i was going to say the usual im just tired but for some reason i started talking about how my relative passed away and i told them that its been killing me i got sympathy and i just kept talking about how ive been feeling but using the death of my relative as the main reason for it i even started crying there was obviously nothing any of them could do and they didnt say much but it felt nice to be able to just vent without being judged or people telling you that you shouldnt be feeling the way that you do its been a week since then and everything is back to normal no ones brought up that day and people think im fine again i cant imagine what wouldve happened if we had that same conversation without my relatives death as an excuse i feel so shitty for using his death to make myself feel better i had always wished that i had some sort of excuse to be the way that i am but i never wanted it to be the death of someone i care about i feel like some sort of sociopath for lying that my relatives death is the cause for how i feel tldr  relative died tragically and i used his death as an excuse to talk about my depression even though it didnt really affect me as much as it should have,3.0
5437,jaylink ive never had one we dont have in n out here  guess im missing out maybe next time i am in scottsdale,2.0
5438,leiabox so what can you tell us about it im totally geeking out right now ,0.0
5439,fuck duis dhagt drivin half asleep is not worth damages ,2.0
5440,great job magic  stay focused,0.0
5441,makayla is eating the cheese you eat with nachos out of a straw absolutely disgusting ,2.0
5442,public restrooms disturb me ,2.0
5443,kinda blown i woke up from my nap wit a missed text from slimjiim and and an reply from mosunmolahit them back and the plolly sleep ,2.0
5444,reports are that iranian govt is taking away sat dishes from homes given the crap on directv is that really so bad ,0.0
5445,my head is spinning ,2.0
5446,i am internetless until we can figure out whats going on with the ethernet ,2.0
5447,just a quick post to write out my thoughts ive been dealing with depression on and off for the past decade ever since my brother died some months are great others arent this is a month that isnt so great ive had some takes that i know ive needed to do but just havent done them in turn this has become a burden on my boyfriend because he has to catch me because i failed to do my responsibilities he says its not a burden but i feel that it is ive also got this constant thought in the back of my mind telling me that my family wishes i was the one who died instead of my brother rationally i know this isnt true in the slightest but the thought is still there im in a funk and i know ill come out of it because i always do im just getting really tired of always falling back in to the funks thanks for reading my rant ❤️,3.0
5448,bored nothing to do i miss my baby ,2.0
5449, sounds fun unfortunately its hot humid with no wind here lol ,0.0
5450,addin to that last comment was spose to be going to see the jonas brothers  movie but guess what i couldnt go aswell cos im sick ,2.0
5451,in class ,2.0
5452,tired got to sleep school tomorrow didnt get the chance to watch the boy in the stripped pajammas  dissapointed good night world xxx,2.0
5453,next week i wont be as active on twitter during the workday ,2.0
5454,rt goghld why did i just moan ,1.0
5455,roguepuppet keep supporting them its amazing how you feel whrn you have stopped ,0.0
5456,internet wasnt working all day  finally got it to work now updating myself on the latest news ,2.0
5457,feelin alright headin out tonightto see oar   ,0.0
5458,rt digitaldeenrcds ya allah replace my sadness with hopeya allah replace my anxiety with reassuranceya allah replace my depression,1.0
5459,i bought sims  today and i still havent played it ,2.0
5460,sittin here chillin ,0.0
5461,christomlinband greetings from sydney australia  we looking fwd to see you  plus louie amp shelley as well at the conference bless you  ,0.0
5462,getting better with medications and therapy before i reached out and starting getting help i really saw no way out it seemed like everything was absolutely fucked and i was going to off myself if things didnt get better fast i have some of the darkest thoughts imaginable sometimes and i used to think that there was no way that medications could help me but now that ive been taking some that work for me i can have some of those same thoughts and they dont keep me in bed all day it probably sounds like bullshit and when im really low it feels like bullshit too but medications can seriously help reach out do what you can life can be fucking rough sometimes regardless of mental illness but if something is wrong in your brain you owe it to yourself to try to get it fixed and learn to cope hang in there ,3.0
5463,hating bdays or maybe being forced to celebrate bdays ugh no hoohah pls i just want to grab a burger with the kids amp go home ,2.0
5464,on of my wisdom toofus was impacted  but some how managed to rise up  so painful ,2.0
5465,eddie vedder you are so damn old ,2.0
5466,stress reliever my dogs except harveetot,1.0
5467,rt loveitkillsme bad mental health is not a fucking competition something to make you look interesting ffs,1.0
5468,missing my lester ,2.0
5469,i dont seem depressed but i am what do i do i think ive been depressed for around  decades but it always felt so normal to me im high functioning and seem to make progress but im terribly unhappy and have been for a long timejust to give you a picture i get discouraged easily esp small obstacles i cry easily i have unrealistic expectations like if i succeed at x then ill finally be happy and when that happens im still not happy im impatient and get snappy when things dont go my way i feel empty i feel heavy and my mind is very cloudy constant headaches i am slow moving i skip exercise a lot and dont eat much i take forever to get out of bed i hate my job and am currently trying to find a better one but give up really easily because whats the point and this isnt my passion i catastrophize a lot i give up easily i isolate myself and feel far removed from everyone else even when in the presence of people i internalize everything anxiety through the roof i obsess over imagined negative events i dont feel worthy i feel ashamed of myself and my life i feel the need to disappear not really by dying but i want to get away from everyone i feel like im living the same day over and over and there is no progress even though im trying and things are constantly changing i just kinda expect myself to be happy right away and to succeed at something right away i pity myself nothing ever works out for me whats wrong with me why mei started therapy recently but i also think i need meds how do i even obtain them please someone tell me theres a way out i dont want to give up on myself i just dont really know what to do i want help but some days im like im totally fine i dont have a problem this is normal because ive lived like this for so long it doesnt feel like theres something wrong but honestly im seriously unhappy and i dont want it to get worse im floating just above water i dont want to drown i know these things are a downward spiral but im just so good at masking it and even lying to myself any advice,3.0
5470,evmc  cool ,0.0
5471,fuck im dumb this sux so bad  why did i have to leave,2.0
5472,euphoricyaz just dont let it define you or stress you after the fact,2.0
5473,no change my mind still no sying bye ,0.0
5474,why cant people keep their nose out of my business im going through some deep shit currently not going to go in depth but basically told two people from work that i get along with that im not okay next thing i know they told my supervisor and crew boss my supervisor called and asked what was wrong didnt want to talk about it said a few things to appease her but was able to make her drop the issue then my crew boss shows up at my door and starts asking me whats wrong and all that i appreciate that they go out of their lives to ask whats wrong but i dont want people to know whats going on these issues dont concern them and their is nothing they can do why are people so nice,3.0
5475,despair everyone tells me to do what makes me happy but the truth is that i dont know what makes me happy everything i can do for fun seems so pointless like it doesnt serve any purpose and the excitement wears off i take life too serious i have to live with some kind of purpose in my mind my purpose is to do a good job and serve people in my profession but often i fail at work and at those times i feel unloved and lonely ,3.0
5476,i wish i could hand code ,2.0
5477,just feel in love with kelly clarkson all over again ,0.0
5478,going in a few guess where ,0.0
5479,freeeeaking out too much to do and not enough time to do it all ,2.0
5480,tball cera on letterman oh no that means i have to choose between my two loves coney amp cera  triumph probably seals the deal though,2.0
5481,bleh another boring and messed up day appleschnapps meh im alright just feel like shooting someonemyselfsomething ohwell ,0.0
5482,rt kmoranont young canadians are reaching out for mental health help more than ever investigation shows ,0.0
5483,rt bizzycrook i dont think mental health is spoken about enough in our societyespecially amongst the youth,1.0
5484,yay cubs win ,0.0
5485,cicadastudio congratulations you are really getting out there ,0.0
5486,ellapaigebabe sure thing ,0.0
5487,tonight show was amazing l thanks to everyone yet again last show tomorrow night  got tomorrow afternoon though x,2.0
5488,feeling really down for no reason ive never posted to this subreddit before but ive been following it for a while im just all alone tonight so i needed a place to put my thoughts im feeling really down tonight and i dont know why i cried earlier and im not really one to cry i had a good day today and woke up next to my so this morning i watched my favourite show and ate pizza from dominos i even threw in a load of laundry and it wasnt until i was folding my clothes that i just started to cry was it because i watched an emotional episode of my favourite show was it because my coworker decided to talk to me for  minutes about suicidemy friend who killed himself when i was at work does there even need to be a reason ,3.0
5489,going to a movie with my mom and dad haha im lame ,0.0
5490,depression almost caught up to me but i keep accepting it at the very moment and confirmed how i feel and adjusted ,1.0
5491,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
5492,i dont know what more to do without risking so much already ive only recently been diagnosed with depression and my doctor has been a huge help but she could only do so much im on medication  ciprolax and i mean it usually helps but more often i keep having so many negative thoughts i keep wanting to try to do more but every time i try something always happens and i go right back to whats the point even now writing this it feels pointless and i feel like im seeking attention even though im just trying to voice out my thoughts im worried that if i go for more advanced help that itll make my family upset or just put me in a bad spot financially my family is very caring and so is my fiancee but the negative is also so much stronger and its so hard to control it im at an impasse in my life and though ill never do it i always feel like ending it will finally give me that release that i want to finally be free of everything in lifebut i know if i did that that it would destroy my mom my sister and my fiancee i just dont know what more to do im scared im tired i always have to put on this face and happy go lucky attitude just so people dont worry but every day i only want to be left alone and just cry my eyes out and hope for death i dont know what to do because each time i try to think i need more help i just think that im not that bad off that im over reacting and no one will understand or take me seriously others have gone through worse what do i have to complain aboutthats why i dont call to the suicide hotlines im just downs and always down what can they doeven now i just dont want to sleep because i feel like i dont deserve to sleep i dont eat at times because i dont feel like i deserve to eat i make myself suffer because i feel like i deserve it,3.0
5493,its sad have so many disapoitments in one day  wolverins movie its sucks ,2.0
5494,drinking my foldgers and watching the news may chill out by the pool later ,0.0
5495,ddlovato hi demi i need help im being bullied ,2.0
5496,depression has taken away so much from me i find it so hard to say explain things i feel so stupid and in worthy i ramble and i feel like im so dumb i have no self worth and i try to fake it tiki make it but nothing has changed deep down inside i feel like im in a deep hole im so stuck,3.0
5497,i talked to captain crotch today  ahahah,0.0
5498,there is this younger black couple in here i think they are so cute in this area you rarely see something like this they make me smile ,0.0
5499,ebrock  thanx im sumwhere on  now lol,0.0
5500,sitting in the dark listening to hot pink amp reminiscing about the pink spiderscrash moderns show makes me realize how much i miss them ,2.0
5501,really loves life ,0.0
5502,beautiful morning here in the mountains ,0.0
5503,tommcfly yes of course ,0.0
5504,i hate that apple juice looks like a bottle of pee ,2.0
5505,kiraaajones kira i am so sorry i dint mean it i am a complete shitface ,2.0
5506,still thinking about the  gp today that was pretty crazy ,0.0
5507,my therapist called my psychiatrist who may have called my doctor hii am on antidepressants and i admitted to my therapist that i have been lax in taking them lately i sometimes get really anxious in there and cant look at her or talk i was really nervous about going in so i took a percocet hoping it would make me relax that night i was up all night worried about how dishonest is was to do that and not be upfront about it so i told my therapist i took one we have talked about some suicidal thought in the past thats why im on the anti depressant so when she heard that i took one she called my psychiatrist to discuss it my psychiatrist looked up my prescriptions and saw that i had a prescription for percocet and my therapist freaked out and today she confronted me and said that my psychiatrist probably called my doctor my prescription is for period cramps and i take  or  a month so now im worried that my doctor will say im abusing my prescription and it will spiral out of control somehow what do you think will happen im angry at my therapist for being so worried and creating a fear that i am abusing my prescription or that im stockpiling drugs or whatever i can barely deal with life right now which is why im so anxious lately so the thought of having to deal with this kind of stuff is very upsetting what do you think will happen what should i do,3.0
5508,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
5509,my beerpong partner is in cali ,2.0
5510,struff really  well send it to our email which is tabthebandgmailcom,2.0
5511, you should go and sit in the grass and work from there ,0.0
5512,oh then the ashes to ashes finale tomoz night ,0.0
5513,this is sad😂,2.0
5514,mexicanbabygyrl u unfollowed me ,2.0
5515,simoncurtis haha everyone wants one ,0.0
5516,good morning putting a colour in my hair and listening to karnivools new album sound awake much thanks to sketchyfletchy ,0.0
5517,dawnrichard dang it aint  many of us left on herepeople r slowly leaving the party ,2.0
5518,frogcooke that was with mcfly wasnt it i went to that  but on a top that i got it said that he was touring overhere later on in the year,0.0
5519,under the weather ,2.0
5520,staceyvpofwc i was sent home yest from work when in again today but feel like hell and burning up with a high temp got it off hubby ,2.0
5521,i feel so much better today im going to sway ,0.0
5522,tonygnyc  sick on a wknd not fun,2.0
5523,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
5524,going to a bbq  but first im going to the gym ,2.0
5525,help yourself and help me   httpbuxtorylrose,0.0
5526,mattblahh noway  hugs thats so low how can someone even do that id be gutted im sorry i should txt amp call him v nasty words lol,2.0
5527,losing myselflost everyday im left wondering about my future i realized that over the years ive become more withdrawn and lonely when i moved out of town for university it has made it worse now  more years of school to go ive been in uni for a while ahaha  im left wondering if this is for me these thoughts have consumed me im on my work term right now going to be back in school for a term in may but i cant help but feel lost ever since i started my work term in january i developed anxiety and so much stress that it has made me more depressed than usual maybe thats not right these past months made me realize ive always been unhappy with my life since high school and i just chose to ignore these feelings it is getting harder to wake up and get out of bed earlier this year  for the first time ever i felt suicidal and wanted to jump in front of a train i cried myself to sleep on a couple of occasionswhen i tried to talk to my friend about it they seemed apathetic telling me to hit up a dove self esteem workshop these past years ive met many friends they are here for the fun and not for me i have lost interest in most thingshobbies i just dont know how to fix myself i just feel like if my life were to end today i wouldnt mind tldrlost and confused just want to get this off my chest ,3.0
5528,i just want my phone today i dont want to know anything just leave me alone thats how im feeling wouldnt you know it though the minute i express these thoughts my brain realizes how depressing spending the rest of the day alone really is cmon make up your mind already,3.0
5529,blondebydesign hugs im so sorry ,2.0
5530,those who picked the cavs are so awwwwfully quiet now  nanananananananahey heygoodbye,0.0
5531,this is so sad 😢😔,2.0
5532,luckycarmen thats nothing i guess youre permanently hungry sounds a bit rubbish to me  have a burger lol bbq weather here today,2.0
5533,rt asvpmeets i wish i knew the source of my depression,1.0
5534,boo my phlebotomy license is still pending  how long is this going to take i want to apply for jobs,2.0
5535,dear justin vernon why are you playing in birmingham and not for me  im sorry i missed you when you played in edinburgh,2.0
5536,probably getting the virus is better than depression anyone having the same thoughts i think i should get the coronavirus so i can finally leave this earth if i succumb to the disease at least i didnt chicken out to depression theres a more legitimate cause to my death its easier to accept and understand for my family than depression and no funerals even when im dead i still hate interacting with people like them giving eulogies and talking about me as if they really know who i am so the current instantcremateandnofuneral situation is my dream funeral i am so aware that my sick mind is winning over me for having these thoughts and i hate it,3.0
5537,aokidokie you should rejoice the fact that you can still eat you know im staarrving ,2.0
5538,anyone have experience with adding a stimulant to their treatment this last bout of depression has been incredibly persistent and has lasted months im on trintellix  and abilify  but all i want to do is sleep and its seriously affecting my work  which cant happen i have too much responsibility and the last month has put me so far behindmy doctor prescribed  of dexedrine to supplement my current regimen does anyone have experience with this or a similar combo,3.0
5539,reading in the park ,0.0
5540, morala sam sad 😁 ,2.0
5541,rt meliphobia lol wait until youre in a more professional setting with people making  or more figures a month doctors and lawyers ar,2.0
5542,hiya calling on tv radio papers  please  get behind birmingham mind we need to talk about mental health lets have a phone ins,1.0
5543,this weekend was amazing seriously ahaa cheery mood knackered though the bbq sort of failed but was still pure fun  water fight,0.0
5544,hates the rain ,2.0
5545,band of the week coming soon  i still have no clue who its but its coming  ,0.0
5546,my cable and internet were shut off in the apartment today as scheduled and im still here ,2.0
5547,this constant cycle of depression where i start to get better and then everything starts to crumble and no one arou httpstcogbaislcgko,1.0
5548,hadziq mas liat status twitternya fitra   ,0.0
5549,do you remember your life before having depression does being on antidepressants come close to that i remember when i was younger i was so happy i had friends and i went out and i participated in activities but ive kinda lost motivation for most things including keeping up my relationships i want to take antidepressants to get back my old life i was so much happier im also scared too that antidepressants will make me stupid its silly but i found as im doing better academically my social skills decrease i was really stupid when i was younger nearly failing most of my classes but i was happy so i want to hear your stories did you become similar to the person you were before having depression,3.0
5550,slept late so nice  last saturday of freedom before wedding madness begins,0.0
5551, yes and i really hoped to do one last gas price story but i guess it wasnt meant to be  ,2.0
5552,nextread ag its still giving me uphill bandwidth issues versus provider dissapearence but getting by  you,0.0
5553,listing baby stuff no longer needed by kami and luke on craigslistswings bouncers carseatsthey are getting so big ,2.0
5554,bible verses about anxiety httpstcodlgimnrwya,2.0
5555,is home fromm the gymmmmmmmmmmmm what a greeaat workout ,0.0
5556,we actually managed to get all  people down to christopher cross and i didnt even ask  sorry misty ,2.0
5557,i cant anymore just what the title says i hate some people here when i poured my heart out during a mental breakdown in my post and i got downvoted i hate my life and im sick of it been trying to make it better but somehow i make it worse,3.0
5558,the only bad thing is that chase is not in this season ,2.0
5559,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
5560,devyces good luck with your cism exam  im doing my cisa the cism seemed easier to me though ,0.0
5561,to balance out some new mental health things i think im gonna do a solo day trip to gloucester ma on saturday to wanderhike ☮️🚶🏽‍♀️🙌🏼,1.0
5562,i just learned that yes you can use acronis to clone a single drive to a  saved me having to reinstall xp ,0.0
5563,not a pity post so please dont give it i just need to say this somewhere and i have no one i can say it to without feeling as though im just looking for pity im notpeople dont like me ive never had friends i have anxiety and agoraphobia and panic disorder abd ocd im negative and awkward and a burden to my family and loved onesim completely worthless i dont add value to anyones life they would be better off without me existing if i had never existed but i dont know if i could end it because that would cause them distress as well and i want to do my best to look after my niece but im also so tired of it all of suffering and not being able to be normal of causing unhappiness to those around me just because im so incapable of caring for myselfdont tell me to get therapy i have repeatedly for years where i live my options are extremely limited there are basically four places that i can go and two wont see me because of lack of openings or because ive missed an appointment in the past because im fucking agoraphobic and struggle to leave my house the other two options are cash only and im poor so those arent actually options ive been trying for two years to get into a doctor ive tried self help books video therapy is also cash or insurance based and since im poor i dont have the cash and since im unable to work or leave my house much i am lucky enough to at least have a medical card but most places dont accept that ive tried counselors but given that they arent phds they are usually extremely unqualified to deal with my level of issues and have told me outright how im the worst case of full in the anxiety disorder here theyve ever seen or they outright dont even know what agoraphobia is i never used to and never thought i would but i dont keep thinking how if i just walked off a balcony or walked in front of a train it might all be fixed no more problems no more debt no more weighing everyone down and causing them to put their lives on hold or missing out on what they really want because of me i am a black hole i shouldnt exist if it werent for modern society i probably wouldnt id probably have been left outside the city gates as a baby for the wolves ,3.0
5564,break is over and its back to lesson  omg twitter is addictive  httptweetsg,2.0
5565,is slightly ill ,2.0
5566,breaking news i use my depression as a crutch to be an asshole because i ignore mundane people,2.0
5567,paddyduke oh no i do hope you have recovered  ,2.0
5568,watching memoirs of a geisha again wooooo no interruptuions ,0.0
5569,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
5570, b happy on ur happiest day ,0.0
5571, i miss youuuuu ,2.0
5572, luv the new vid i know you are busy now but really miss ur chatty vids as well we luv to hear about pooches etc  xx,0.0
5573,absolutely dreading spring break im a college student with pretty severe depression someone very close to me also just completely cut contact with me so everything has been even worse than usual lately ive been distracting myself by picking up extra shifts at work and studying super hard for classes but next week is spring break and ill be going home im so scared for this break because for the first time ill be alone with my thoughts and nothing to do i keep thinking about the person who cut contact with me and how special they were to me everything has been so dark school has helped me keep busy but now during the break im terrified of what i might do,3.0
5574,picked up  japanese cds here locally one ayumi and one utada yay currently browsing figures to add to my collection mmmmm yum ,0.0
5575,just failed a test yikes ,2.0
5576,rt  little sad but ill be fine always have been,1.0
5577,that sad moment when someone attractive is grammatically deficient,1.0
5578,code red ive been struggling with a depressive episode for about  weeks now and its hit what i call code red severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts maintaining normalcy is impossible at this point and i regard my job with a sense of dread i see my psychiatrist in a week but itll take forever to get a talk therapist with my insurance has anyone ever changed jobs because of their depression im really struggling guys,3.0
5579,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
5580,its been years ive had depression since im  now im turning  oh fuck how long does it last im having so much trouble explaining the emotional pain im in its awful even with art its hard to express such a pain pff psychologists make money with people like me and i can have all the hatred of the nondepressed people theyre just as much of a monster as me anyway i lost hope long ago depression is just an endless cycle apparently there are ways to break that cycle but its just like propaganda itd be best if it were true but it isnt but you guys are in that cycle too right its just so hard to understand youre in it but yeah many years wasted being depressed why would such tings happen if god was a real thing but after all ive done wrong things punishement unlikelybref jvous emmerde ,3.0
5581,rt skyecreativeone how come every female yoga instructor i know is an anxiety ridden cunty bitch isnt that the opposite of what they ,2.0
5582,someone just told me that its still raining aw cmon rain please stop why because i hate you so stop ,2.0
5583,i want to get back to myself i am starting tomorrow last year i lost my job to depression and then  weeks later lost my next job i spent the rest of a year feeling more depressed than i ever had before i pretty much gave up not to mention ive always had terrible money problems this just made it so much worse i was just waiting to waste awaybut i cant do this anymore i dont want this life i miss caring about anything at all i miss feeling like i knew who i was or having any motivation to do anything i miss not feeling completely hollow i have to start,3.0
5584,rt twloha  things you shouldnt say to someone with depression and what to say instead via themightysite ,2.0
5585,rt  mgcixx ,1.0
5586,la la la la la la la la la la la la la xd i wanna go back to fiji  wat is the time in america someone tell me  xd,2.0
5587, i am happy that zoe from the alley is here ,0.0
5588,alexkofitwinb i have  bet its going to the periperi chicken fund isnt it ,0.0
5589,i dont know how to sit what to do or what you want confused ,2.0
5590,is it just me or does it seem like everyone has been sad lately ,0.0
5591,on the train to nyc pulak overslept so it looks like me and abe get a day alone in the city ,0.0
5592,feeding aiden and watching cartoons ,0.0
5593,good day   blessed vibes ,0.0
5594,like girls life magazine and their blog check out brookieborg moderated and written by a former blogger of gl comment back lovers ,0.0
5595,im not able to go to sleep  ,2.0
5596,just won basketball and got a buzzer beater at the end ,0.0
5597,im sad because doc sucks against fox,2.0
5598,just made a twitter gonna see what the fuss is all about  will be a change from facebook although i really should be revising ,2.0
5599,mtrh magic bus mega bus has gone right up in price  £ return whuttt,2.0
5600,bradiewebbstack lots of people would talk about you bradie  nice things hahaha,0.0
5601,cant figure out if im really early or super late on this kid cudi poker face track  but i really like it ,0.0
5602,today was super fun i liked how everyone soaked me  i got injured badly hello knee scars  hurts ill toughen it out,2.0
5603,dailymirror sad twat,0.0
5604,parishiltonpho aww i love to bake what did you make and yeah i was out all of yesterday it was hot but i have so much homework  xo,2.0
5605,rt mrwildmanjeff  planned suicide mission shut down information overload too many being educated the powerful prefer ignora,0.0
5606,estherpassaris keep us cycling,2.0
5607,love getting caught in the rain with no umbrella or shelter ,2.0
5608,is now back at the school working on the bachproject ,0.0
5609,vegasgeek lucky  justjulie was taken already and my full name ,2.0
5610,mental health status missed my psychiatrist appointment this morning,0.0
5611,hmm more art coursework today  i would like to go out instead,2.0
5612,have nothing new to read was going to start darkhunter series over again but seems my dgtr took off with them  ,2.0
5613,is always feeling like this ,2.0
5614,man i dont even know ,2.0
5615,httpbitlynljmz this is so sad and happy but alot sad ,2.0
5616,watch me grow fat this june hols ,0.0
5617,i cant stress how true this is hahahahahahaha,2.0
5618,why does depression make ya sleep so much am sick of getting called lazy when i literally cant control it at all,2.0
5619,is this an existential crisis or just regular depression,1.0
5620,is at home doing assignments yet again ,2.0
5621,laughpurgatory andys follies  – friends and anxiety ,1.0
5622,mileycyrus dont worry miley im sure your gona win just make sure u give me a kiss or a wink when you win ,0.0
5623,im nobodies favourite and that sucks i just feel so crap all the time and its because im nobodies favourite nobodies first choice theres nothing i can do which someone else cant do better and the worst part is that its a reasonable thing obviously someone would pick someone they prefer or someone they think is better than someone who isnt i get picked for things out of pity,3.0
5624,mileycyrus love the fact you write your own material songs  thats someone genuine d,0.0
5625,elsiiejoy im a big lake ambassador candidate and we have to do a dance during coranation i fail at dancing ,2.0
5626, hours  minutes and  seconds till jonas ,0.0
5627,new twitter coolness conversations with neighbors  during a thunderstorm ,0.0
5628,wore my cute carousel horse ring last night amp the horse fell off the band couldnt find it  rip httptinyurlcomnutcdh,2.0
5629,sorry i havent been on twitter lately  busy busy busy,2.0
5630,obsessed i am obsessed with the thought of dying the after life the whole life moves on without me its hindered me from being happy from enjoying anything because when i start to my mind starts to trail to that to the why are you happy when none of this is going to matter soon i cant sleep at night i stay up thinking im my worst enemy i feel like i cant get too close to anyone whats the point if theyre going to die whats the point of all this why am i a sitting duck to this game we call death,3.0
5631,does anyone have something that makes them happy i only have  things that make me happy pets reddit and youtube everything else is just depressing especially when you have absolutely no friends in life to talk to ,3.0
5632,cant go out tonight car is acting funny   wat shall i do,2.0
5633,i have to get up early tomorrow morning ,2.0
5634,kashiiagvk welcome back to the land of the living a few heavy meals and youll get some meat back on those bones relax eat and sleep ,0.0
5635,im so sad im gonna go if you need me you know where to contact me,2.0
5636,i love it when printers come round touting their services i get free stuff ,0.0
5637,i cannot find lesley arfins book anywhere ,2.0
5638,melaniewoods proud of you for lasting that long in his company even i need a break ,0.0
5639,aaron im taken im sorry ,2.0
5640,ashyjonas im glad that u r all right  yeah im fine rigth now thanks,0.0
5641,likes going to the beach at night  amp discovering wolverinestyle footprints,0.0
5642,amandavdgulik no i dont meant in dreams of course its okay to be a dreamer at any age i mean for being a authornevermind ,0.0
5643,hunger loving stress,0.0
5644,im packing things at the moment malessss ,2.0
5645,httptinyurlcomqmokwc  o rly ,0.0
5646,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
5647,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
5648,scenenotheard yea but yea lol she seemed nice  i froze up,2.0
5649,psvensson yes  i think there are some really interesting things this year hopefully i can get away without being fully baptised,0.0
5650,not feeling well ,2.0
5651,playing nba  with kevin ,0.0
5652,manmademoon try to get on thehour on cbc after that everyone will know about moon in canada  httpwwwcbccathehour,0.0
5653,jdfirst lol that was a bad one indeed now i got my week off n nowhere to go though ,2.0
5654,this is it its the day  gue dari pagi nugguin pak pos belum    bgt gilaaaa honestly gue ,2.0
5655,getting my day started and organized the fire alarm keeps going off  ,2.0
5656,my mom asked me to fix her leaking shower when i barely have the motivation to stay alive and my granny asked me get her car to our yearly vehicle inspection if i say no i feel bad because i do nothing all day but doing anything makes me wanna kms,3.0
5657,jimmyfallon i was in bar in downtown el paso watching jays last show and when it ended suddenly they changed the channelhahaha sorry ,2.0
5658,msnarain u seem to have a point therejust frustration machan this is too muchand hows the crowd reating to ur guitaring ,0.0
5659,kalliet of course     youll know when is enough is enough ,2.0
5660,winniedepoohi hehe yesh but im gonna get it perfectly right next time ,0.0
5661,no  patch today for wow maybe next week ,2.0
5662,not looking forward to waking up early tomorrow ,2.0
5663,had a good day and here is how i got up early and did the parkrun which is a  timed run there may be one near you if youre up for running or just jogging it there are people of all abilities and i mean all abilities some people can only walk it its all goodsecondly i got out and started tidying my garden up well actually im landscaping it from scratchif you have any outside space i really recommend getting out there and gardeningi know its not easy but it made a big difference to me,3.0
5664,my life sucks without them and they dont know i exsist ,2.0
5665,my little brother makes me look like shit in comparison hes  and he just got a new  year old girlfriend who is very pretty he brought her home the other day meanwhile i am going to be  in half of a year im not trying to hate on him its good that he is not alone but it makes me look extra pathetic hes been fucking girls since his young highschool days and he is handsome meanwhile theres me i sorta lost my virginity to a fat girl last year and it was an awful fucking experience ive always been alone and bullied etc fucking shit lifewhats the point of this life why keep studying i fucking lost the game of life i want to kill myself my little bro is always out of the house enjoying his youth i basically already went through my best years doing nothing its such a shitty feeling when the house is extra quiet and i just have to understand my lil bro is enjoying life like a normal person meanwhile im in my room still like a fuckin loser all of my cousins and siblings are normal damn its just me im truly one of a kindtldr im an ugly piece of garbage and i will probably shoot my head some day,3.0
5666,dueface  you def just twatted me twitter lol,0.0
5667,noooo drop by    businessweekcom,2.0
5668,i guess im on the thunder diet  i wanted to go get ice cream but now theres a thunder storm and im too scared to go outside ,2.0
5669,rip betty the sewing machine i will miss you  ,2.0
5670,macyfouse i was just trying to make a laugh ,2.0
5671,dealing with the loss of a loved one i thought i would leave this here i have comfort and support but if anyone else is going through the same thing feel free to reach out my mom passed away last sunday we had the funeral on monday february  i broke down when i saw the casket it was a moving funeral but i do not wish anyone to go through this my mom was  she had stage four metastatic breast cancer that moved from the breast to the cervix from there it gradually spread to the liver and bones and finally to the fluid around the brain and the spinal fluid my mom was a bright wonderful person she was full of strength and was always positive even though she was going through so much i still cannot believe she is no longer here with me and my family everyone loves her and her free spirit she is no longer suffering and is finally at peace which i am thankful for it just kills me inside that i will never see her smile again i love you and miss you mom we all do thank you for reading this,3.0
5672,textdrivebys late response again but yes jt wants to fck this mother  lol,0.0
5673,betty has to go away she keeps breaking  went on a church float trip no one but meg talked to me  but i found chocolate in my room,2.0
5674,joellester so i am bored an on the computer and googling my gmail handle joellester and i find you  sorry for taking your name  ,2.0
5675,rt mentallyawareng doyouknowwe dont all experience depressionwe wont all experience depressionwe arent required to experience d,2.0
5676,has an omlette  so she is happy ,0.0
5677,jennypoynter they do  were just amazing he should reply to us and tell us what inspirations we are to him,0.0
5678,briandotson yeah but the model couldnt make it ,2.0
5679,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
5680,magpiecreative i wanted to be there  my dad is tim byrne of tim byrne photo and yes forever hearing quothey arent you tims daughterquot,2.0
5681,i cant write comments i think i should not comment on reddit when i am drinking and depressed i am just so lost i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
5682,i have had a tough time lately and just want to talk about it as stated above life has been tough lately and i just want to get it out i dont expect anybody to read all of it just want to express what is going on in my life so i have chronic depression that is treatment resistant i have been in therapy for most of my life from  to present it has never been an easy life as i have asperger syndrome which i found out later in life i also have a variety of health conditions most of them chronic and have no cure or treatment really i got really sick a couple years ago and spent months in the hospital until i could have a series of  surgeries that were supposed to restore me to full health well they didnt and i ended up with a lot of complications so i had to quit school and work my health has been pretty much deteriorating since then i now have chronic pancreatitis it is not caused by drinking or drug use and i quit smoking they dont even know the cause yet i am in a lot of pain physically which causes emotional pain it doesnt help that due to my chronic pain the doctors havent exactly been helpful i frankly feel overwhelmed with life right now i am very depressed and dont really have a support structure i have a psychologist and nurse practitioner that prescribes my anti depressants and anti anxiety medicine my parents though are getting older my dad has dementia and alzheimer and my mom has back issues along with possible heart issues my only friend lives  hours away and works  hours a week i was at my dads last neurology appointment where the doctor said his physical health is probably as bad as his mental healthit is just really tough dealing with my many physical and mental health issues when i am trying to take care of my parents today was another bad day my pancreatitis flared up so my back is killing me plus i feel nauseous  yet i have lost a ton of weight  pounds so far my dad called me today  times and would hang up every time since he forgot how to use the phone my mom is out having fun though today so thats good but life is just really hard and no matter what i do to get help i cant because the medical care in this state is terrible if you have issues with gi mental health and chronic pain that is all for now thank you if you read this just needed to get it out,3.0
5683,shame that dragndrop text editing is not supported in topstyle  i found this a great time saving feature why was it removed ,2.0
5684,lucyhodsdon hey love why were you in hospital  ,2.0
5685,new to twitter ,0.0
5686,in doctors waiting room walls are covered with illustrated posters on various serious illnesses not making me feel better at all ,2.0
5687, suck when your year rings in with you seeing your ex of  years kissing someone on a social media story i broke up with her but still it feels absolutely terrible,3.0
5688,vardenrhode  hehe theyve all been really entertaining ,0.0
5689,rubenerd it takes time and patience  as long as youre having fun thats the important thing,0.0
5690,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
5691,getmepleasure  mind you the way some play  online it could be seen as being lemmings with guns heehee,0.0
5692,ninagigliotti she wont quit attacking the cats ,2.0
5693,robstwitta i did hurt my knee actually torn mcl  but i was only defrosting a few soy beans at a timemy knee was in the sun in the car,2.0
5694, i dont know the full details of the stuff all i heard was free and quoteu home wont be happyquot tends to suggest we wont get it ,2.0
5695,already started the onslaught of maths revision for today already counting the minutes until elevenses too ,0.0
5696,yaaayyyy  wwwschreeandbabycom checkout our show  adults onlyexplicitraw content register to post to the forum bb live feeds,0.0
5697,is sad because im on the last episode of bofi dont want it to end   ,2.0
5698,morning god its awful weather out today this may lead to a lack of boyzone following and that makes me sad  hope were all ok xx,2.0
5699,pakauwaw nalang jod ta ani discipline sad oy abi palang unsa ta,2.0
5700,i am not a taxi have a blessed day ,0.0
5701,well im going out for real  bahah sure i will bye ,0.0
5702,gloucestercape ann ahhhgrasshopper   actor david carradine found dead in bangkok httptinyurlcomqwacxs,2.0
5703,right i am going out tomorrow apparently to staples ,2.0
5704,i love this show   jon and kate   ,2.0
5705,im hopelessim polish so sorry for my grammar im having big problems i cut myself on regular basis last time i cut myself and left bloody note to my mom blood for blood im sorry in polishand i left money for paint  after i throw up on the wall drunk and tried scrub wall and scrape off paint i cant find job  months now i live in small town my bad knee stop me from having phisical work sometimes i hope to end it all but my mom and me had bad times when i was young and i think she couldnt survive my suicide i cant do that to her what can i do to help her when i was young i had family psychologist  it wasnt much help then i went to psychiatrist in the  wisit he gave me some prescription and that was my downfall for the first  weeks i followed his restrictions to the bit then i stared drinking because i felt hopeless and for next couple of weeks i tried end myself but never worked i survived and now almost year later i think o taikng knfie to my wrist and end it all sorry for my long writing i just want to talk to someone im sorry if this too long ,3.0
5706,kenseeley i am soooo sorry  hope hes ok ,2.0
5707, idk what happened to us tonight next time well take naps before so we dont get sleepy and go back home at   ,2.0
5708,thoughts on htc touch amp magic keeping my eyes peeled for a new phone ,0.0
5709,bendbeanies thank you too ,0.0
5710, please dont do that it would make me cry  today seems to be a bad day for a lot of people ,2.0
5711,i wanna go see wicked again right now and get a puppy and another piercing or tat its just one of those nights life is good  night,0.0
5712,philyjab susan boyle has not performed yet ,0.0
5713,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay httpstcobqcqeqjggr,1.0
5714,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
5715,i also almost managed to capture the guy setting the bombs but he found me and my husband came to rescue me in my dreams ,2.0
5716,now on chapter  in my c book  may need to read my php one now ,2.0
5717,ive got a puppy sick with what is basically dog bronchitis ,2.0
5718,rt cmarienico teddy has such anxiety when we are not home makes me so sad to see him this way he sits like a statue roams the house an,1.0
5719,excellentwell im off to edit a wedding videobeen putting it off for ages couldnt be arsed doing ittill nowgotta get it done ,0.0
5720,alyandajfanatic sorry my schools computers are slow ,0.0
5721, btw i didnt get the new update on my phone yet  ,2.0
5722,yes im done okaywriting sales brief next ,2.0
5723,only local twitter would say this,1.0
5724,continuedmitchelmusso i got to c u but id wouldve like to actually say hi give you a hug get a pic but no it was really rushed ,2.0
5725,feedkoko yep cya thanks for the vid ,0.0
5726,bengrossman youre welcome  we heartily agree,0.0
5727,there is no real reason to try because life is pointless if you really think about your place in the universe you should come to find that everything you do is is completly pointless you are truly negligible and there is nothing you cand do to change that there is nothing you can do to change the fact that you are going to die there is nothing you can do to change the inevitable heat death of the universe there is nothing you can do to change the fact that you are not special nothing matters whatsoever it doesnt matter if you are alive right now or not it doesnt even matter that the big bang really happenedyou are going to die and enter the same stage as you were in when you were born you will become nothing you will lose all your memories and achivements so why wolud you put all the effort into doing great things in the first placeso what if you ended world hunger you didnt truly save anyones life putting in a hard effort is just a poor waste with nothing ultimately gained it doesnt matter how much money you make how many people you kill whats your gpa your faith remains the same so dont get stressed down about anything just relax and enjoy your negligible existenceaccording to the standard model of particle physics we are just a bunch of particles under the delusion that things actually matter not only you but all of life itslef isnt really close to a cosmic blink of an eye if you measure the life time of the universe from its beginning to the evaporation of the last black hole to a  hour day the time interval where life is possible is smaller than the plank timewich os the smalles unit of time possible in other words the time imterval in wich the universe is habitable for life is too small  to even happen in a  hour universe lifetime in fact it woludnt even be possible for a year or for a billion yearscalculation show that in order for life to exist for just one second the universes lifetime must be greater than  trillion yearsmany people underestimate how insegnificant we are soon all mater will decay in radiation as the universe aproaches absolute zero once everything reaches maximum entropy the universe will die of heat deaththere is nothing anyone can do to change this there is no hope we are all doomed to die and we all have the same faith no matter what we acomploshed experienced or achived nobody has any ultimate superiority over you and you have no ultimate superiority over anyone there is no reason to try too hard for everything you do will be lost and   doesnt matterdo what is necessary to enjoy your life anything else would be stupid,3.0
5728,littleradge shit your in trouble now  why dont you try with one of those companys that buys your house for you,2.0
5729,just spent £ on a bikini for her holidays  yay,0.0
5730,at work ,2.0
5731,canadianballkid lol cant be sad all the time enjoy the season for the love of the game and look forward to next year  😀,1.0
5732,trevorp agree with you completely i remember a time when it turned out a bit bloody  cut my hand real bad  when setting up a computer,2.0
5733,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
5734,hmm it may be worth buying the  to get it looks awsome ,0.0
5735,stamp lockedin  had to stamp it right  via prettypaige isnt it wonderful to feel beautiful from the inside out  ,0.0
5736,headed to work such a short weekend ,2.0
5737,is prayin for refreshing for her friends you know who u are  ,0.0
5738,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
5739, yeah you are so righti like ur quote ,0.0
5740,thinking about going to the mallbut i dont wanna go alone ,2.0
5741,rt aliaastaman bad husband gonna be a worse father then the kid will be less likely to be schoolready less cognitively developed can,1.0
5742,when arent i sad,2.0
5743,krownz im sure itll be good  only thing  glasses do for me is make the image not be blurry blurry colors wout em,0.0
5744,wow bring on the sun im loving it  ,0.0
5745,just had a really lovely conversation on omegle  i think i made a new friend,0.0
5746,my dog likes futures sad songs,2.0
5747,im scared i dont do well alone by myself there is nobody to ask me why im staring into space and bring me back from the edge by myself there is no one to make me self conscious about my self care by myself there is nobody that i have to come home to by myself i am not safe before i had my parents but then i was disowned after that i had a wife three years later i got divorced but i had my kids my girlfriend just decided that im moving out she just cant we tried but we grew apart im moving out next month and i just lost custody of my kids so now for the first time in a long time i have nothing to lose i have nobody to lose i have nothing left im responsible for other than myself and im scared i wanna die but i dont wanna die,3.0
5748,i screamed at my dad to not hit my mom sorry this is so long but i dont know where to post this but i am really depressed and have been wanting to talk to my mom that i feel super depressed again but she was to busy anyways my dad has bpd and its hard because he is super happy and fun to be around then the next thing you know he is just mean and grumpy i know its the illness but anyways almost two years ago he hit my mom and he ended up going to get help since then he promised my mom he would never touch her ever again well yesterday my mom was asking him about cleaning up around the house and he just got mad and took off down the street in winter weather with just pjs and crocs on lol anyways he can back and my mom said why do you just leave like that i just wanted to talk im not putting up with this anymore at this point i has waiting outside the door just in case then my dad said you know what fuck you then my mom said why are you talking to me like that then he got aggressive and stood up then she said are you gonna hit me then he said maybe i fucking will bitch with his fist up mind you he is    maybe i scream dont touch her and i told my mom to move because he got closer to her than he look at me and said ill punch you too i scream im calling  and then my mom said no and i said im calling  again he look at me and scream fuck you and fuck your mom then he went to his room to try and take every pill to kill himself and lock himself in the bathroom my mom talked him out of it and i got my three younger siblings in the car and we left anyways this was long story but now my mom said its because he has bpd thats why he acted like that anyways my mom and him are good and it seems like it never happened i was scared to sleep last night and i feel like im done talking to himtldr my mom and dad got into a fight and i scream at my dad to not punch her then he threatened my and tried to kill himself,3.0
5749,government run healthcare is great right,0.0
5750,sekert well we dont carewe know they canmy dog knows before i have a seizurekind of like a quakein the head ,0.0
5751,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
5752,well i just dinged  ,0.0
5753,honeysua awwww that makes me sad ,2.0
5754, good morning to you  quazatron  good ♫ ,0.0
5755,im awake i think im becoming a daywalker ,2.0
5756,gaffneystoll and mpstoll i chickened out  ,2.0
5757,about to quit my job with nothing lined up to travel for a month and hopefully return hating my life less  loving myself more or finding a new exciting life elsewhere  please convince me to either not do this or follow through  so ill try to make this quick since the title sums it up pretty much graduated a litttle less than a year ago  got what i thought would be a dream job and have been working since at first everything went well as it always does until of course around that  month mark my interest peaks and my performance begins to decline all of a sudden this new exciting job was just becoming a daily drag for meso to make matters worse around this time my girlfriend dumped me something i couldve probably dealt with on its own except that she went right after my best friend of  years and supposedly kissed him i completely lost my fucking mind at that point and started to get really into drugs its been about  months now and ive finally been able to get myself clean minus smoking weed and the occasional social drink i figured getting clean was all i needed to get my life back on track  i was wrong i still was chronically depressed my work performance my mood and my attitude just generally are complete shiti got on antidepressants zoloft in hopes of that making things better it really seemed to help with my work performance early on  but overall despite my efforts i just constantly made stupid preventable mistakes as a result my company brought in more new entry level hires i was the only one of course it doesnt take much to be more outgoing organized and social than me so i quickly fell under the radar and became a ghost at this company so after a couple months on zoloft i realized my depression work performance and just general mood have not in any way improved so now im off the zoloft of course this doesnt matter either my attention span is so bad imconstantly working insane hours up til  a day just to get minimal work done i know my productivity is garbage im fucking sick and tired of not being able to handle the minimalwork i have so im fucking donei dont wanna do anything but lay in bed all day well to be honest id rather lay in bed on drugs than deal with life but i can somehow deal with life on its own now without them but im sick of it ive had dreams of traveling to hawaii california and alaska i will never have an opportunity again with all these jobs requiring me to work an entire year to earn a week offtoday im going in quitting with two weeks notice i have the savings to do so i have my job and my life if i get one more fucking emailabout something i messed up im about to walk out in fact im not suicidal yet but i need to leave because thats because a possibility someone please convince me not to do this ive been wanting to travel forever and just relax i feel now is the only opportunity i have i have plenty of savings to do this as well,3.0
5758,persiankiwi are you guys really ok with the khamenei he is the real problem ,2.0
5759,its new year the family as come together after a long time and were having a blast so why do i feel empty inside and want to cry so bad i dont know whats happening to me guys i was having a good time and then the void hit me out of the blue i just want to jump to bed turn the ac on and fade awayanyways happy new year im truly happy we all made it trough against the odds cheers guys,3.0
5760,rt nandossa simthola kanjani lo sisi weguys rt to save a life ,0.0
5761,ive never opened up about this stuff to anybody theres so much that i should tell people about but i dont know who to tell or where to begin im doing better than i was a few years ago however i sometimes feel like im constantly one step away from it all falling apart again fortunately that one step hasnt happened one of the big reasons why it stuck with me is that theres no one to talk about family is being worthless and doesnt want to hear that they made things worse had no friends didnt even meet most of my current friends until things started getting better most that ive been able to say to someone was brief remarks of the i understand what youre going through variety i dont know what to do,3.0
5762,just played rummikub with hubby  he says he hates games but he always seems to have fun when we play them ,0.0
5763,engrmoks me too  hes my bet ,2.0
5764,i now know who my real friends are and they are lovely ,0.0
5765,sick of revision luckily nearly ova ,0.0
5766,waking up early to study but end up catching up with friends via im since everyones online its all good though ,0.0
5767,cant sleep suffering from insomnia this sum bullshit ,2.0
5768,haha meriel rocks  i  her  show her some love today guys and gals ,0.0
5769,contentmigratie  t ofcourse ,0.0
5770,sexually based depression sucks i moved this past week it was painful it was stressful and it was liberating to an extent i did something stupid a few years ago and as a result i feel like im slowly corrupting from the inside out since i will not divulge too much more given that its too personal even for this anonymous platform needless to say that since then ive experienced daily misery i cannot ever in life say out loud to another person the wrong that i feel ive done and of course the whysource of my depression my body is failing little by little and ive had to get surgery to try and correct my ailment however all this has done is leave me in constant pain which has had me develop a bit of an addiction its the lies and the guilt killing me and i guess i just need to acknowledge it in the open i meant to do what i did and although i regret it and wish i didnt i cant undo it so i suffer in my head and wrestle with the demon until one of us loses ive been winning more often than not but maybe i just deserve to let it overcome me in any event i not only turned to drugs but to sex and to kinky sex at that i always had a freaky streak but since  or so ive been on extra shit i know that my time is limited  more years tops and i know ill have to atone but for now i guess im gonna just have to live like i got away with something bad but really i know that ill just end up losing it all in the end its the reason why i cant sleep or truly enjoy my life i will enjoy what i can these next  years four decades are good enough,3.0
5771,a slow dissent a little over a year ago i pulled myself out of a very dark place a place i desperately do not want to return to lately i have been feeling off ive been skipping class feeling distant and not enjoying things nearly as much not every aspect of my life is bad right now either but i dont know how to get rid of this feeling i just cant shake it any suggestions,3.0
5772,rt jooniefied important notesplease refrain from trending hashtagsif any event needs to be cancelled we should be okay with itdo n,0.0
5773,bursts through the twitter doors hellooooooooo  ,0.0
5774,my parents yells at me for no reason my parents know that i have depression but theyre still yelling at me for not having plans in my life i hate being yelled at and i cant work properly because of my body i dont know what to do and i just want to disappear from this worldcan someone help me,3.0
5775,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
5776,darksecrets it looks great  cant wait to write more posts for it the plots so much fun already  ,0.0
5777,happy mothers day ,0.0
5778,come on blokes i think the swine flu is keep boys out of the brothels ,2.0
5779,dantecl lol quotsucky weatherquot is relative its going to for once be cool enough to get some yardwork done without melting ,0.0
5780, just printed my mom an amazon gift card  for happy mothers day talk about last minute,0.0
5781,orphenzidane no just various ways to annialate the fuckers and beautiful powerful legs are one method ,0.0
5782,cindyleigh freelancecoffee somewhere where you can park would be nice ,0.0
5783, thanks cant check it on my phone though  ill check it monday,2.0
5784,dammit  went for a bike ride didnt confirm gps was recording before departure arrived home pressed the power button amp it turned on ,2.0
5785,earlier,0.0
5786,vickytcobra im trying to talk to you on stickam but its not working ,2.0
5787,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
5788,wishing i was at least feeling something im pretty young having just graduated high school last year but these past  months that have followed have been the worst of my life back when i was in middle school i told my parents i didnt understand why i had to be alive which resulted in a trip to a psychiatrist that ended up doing nothing for me and i went on a few more years just putting myself into autopilot then in the  grade a teacher pulled me aside asking me why i always seem so unhappy i told him its not that i feel unhappy its that i havent felt anything at all this got relayed to my parents by him and it was another unhelpful trip to the doctor go forward to graduation and it was time to go out and find a purpose except i have not been able to do that i get almost nobody at this age knows what theyre doing but at least a lot of people can find the motivation to try and find it for me its been sitting at home doing nothing i have a computer and dont use it a car and dont drive it i wouldnt say my family is financially struggling either so i should have everything set up for myself except i cant get past feeling nothingdont get me wrong this wasnt something that was caused from a traumatic experience or anything situational from when i was younger ive always kept a few good close friends so that wasnt an issue either i used to think i was being lazy except ive done volunteer work and it did nothing for me i worked a job that paid and it did nothing for me im thankful as hell my family isnt in a pinch for money all the time but at some points i wish it were the case so that i would have a reason to force myself to go out and do something even if it wasnt really for me if the reason i should go out and work is to make money then it would be meaningless and if the reason i should go to school is to roll the dice and hope something clicks and i find a passion then its not a risk i want to take the closest thing ive felt to passion in the last few years was music but that fell off thinking about how niche of a market it is and i also dont want a bunch of people knowing who i am if i managed to get lucky when ive tried talking to people about this it just really comes off selfish and lazy i hope thats not how it sounds if anybody else can maybe break down how i feel and what i can do to combat this i would appreciate it or just share if theres anything similar thats happened in your life,3.0
5789,philwalters fickleness seems appropriate for a twitter user ,0.0
5790,how dare you ,2.0
5791,its like ive been awakened ,0.0
5792, and now football ,0.0
5793,sculduggery dont be silly youll be on the guestlist ,0.0
5794,im always feeling tired n i dont wanna get out of bed or wake up idk why ive been feeling so tired n inactive lately ive felt like im spending my life in deep slumber as time passes by when i tried to go out n do simple stuff like shopping taking walks n seeing friends i feel like i can barely move at all n that im losing balance whenever i walk all i can do now lay in bed n bury myself under my blankets why am i feeling so exhausted all the time,3.0
5795,scared of being happy im wondering if anyone else has felt like this ive been depressed for so long that the thought of being happy seems foreign and a little scary i just dont know what to expect should i get better starting therapy and medication its almost like i dont want to get better in a weird way because ive been in this so long ive grown almost comfortable in an odd way so anyone else feel the same,3.0
5796,i need a day job or my own business whatever cones first and most likely a day job ,2.0
5797,salut a tous ,0.0
5798,nickcarter oo okay go for it ,0.0
5799,mrsmcsupergirl   holy freakin guacamole thank u thank u thank u wow ,0.0
5800,dczol its a good description  i love sheldon ,0.0
5801,davidarchie i need to be followed by you it would be very much appreciated ,0.0
5802,diplomat is  who can tell u to go to hell in such a way that u will look fwd to the trip i m perfect for it   will work for india,0.0
5803,everything hurts and i cant talk to anybody anymore without wanting to close my eyes and die right on the spot i have felt it coming for a long time now dont know what it is and i dont care what its called i know i had it many times before i was sitting at work talking to my collegues and i started to feel hollow like someone was hollowing me out with a spoon or something cold in metal i started to hear everyone and myself like an echo inside and when the echo hit the walls of my inside it hurt so much i put my hands on my stomach and tried to push it in just to increase the emptyness but it didnt worki couldnt smile anymore and when i tried to talk i started to whisper in the middle of the sentense and i noticed that and tried to higher my voice but then i was screaming and my collegues looked scared i tried to smile but it felt so fake and it made the pain feel so much more inside everywhere i went at work i felt this i couldnt escape it even when i woke up today i can feel it hollow just so empty i saw something funny on reddit and laughed and it was like a peak of happiness and then it fell hard down i hope it will go away soon and not pain me like this,3.0
5804,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
5805,mitchelmusso hey im screaming at you ,0.0
5806,ginga force ost  bust a move   youtubeさんから,2.0
5807,generhee sorry  were working on it looks like groublogpons having a case of the mondays ,2.0
5808,ahseyam thats the plan  during the summer i can afford to screw up my sleeping schedule to compensate for the time i cant spend with,0.0
5809,says have fun playing the futsal baby yeah  ,0.0
5810,classiquemle   awesome  cant wait to meet you ,0.0
5811,thanks for suggestions love saharas on south howell or casablancas on brady street east side well see ,0.0
5812,kyle sounded better than thursday until the last verse of mbn  but act  was mostly good,2.0
5813, put a smile on your dial it cant be so bad cause im arou d ,0.0
5814,whered everyone go  i guess ill bbl too,2.0
5815,gonna mow the grass excited for another cubs win today over the struggling cards ,0.0
5816,i used to feel like i was not okay some days and now its all days i feel so empty and lonely i feel replaceable and unwanted i dont feel like i matter much i dont think the people who say they think about me really do i cant trust anyone and i dont know how to love everyone i have ever cared about has either killed themselves or left me without looking back even the people who claim to care about me tell me how hard it is to stick around all i ever needed was someone who would stay i wanted to build a family and give them a life full of trust and love a feeling of importance but i dont think i can ever do that now that this has gotten so bad i feel so numb every single dayjust venting it feels better knowing someone else read what i have to say and might feel better if this is something they can relate to,3.0
5817,rt ahmedkhalaf depression hits you like ,0.0
5818,ugh  ihate wen im sick   any who  hit ♥ me ♥ up on aim  mrsxunique,2.0
5819,i have a headache im gonna clear thru these tweets sometime tonight so if anyone wantsto laugh at me being sad before hand go for it,1.0
5820,scottym i actually just did a maccas run  wheres scotty when you need him,0.0
5821,frankiethesats please can you wish happy bday to my best friend niickg it would be an awesome present ,0.0
5822,gasp  days until my birthday  who else is an april baby,0.0
5823,no more chemistry every again ,0.0
5824,just saw a random dog camera to slow for the pic ,2.0
5825, its ddayyy gonna be listening to  that head automatica song all dayyy too bad im still sick ,2.0
5826,beenieandcecil  chirpin back at ya  enjoy your day,0.0
5827,at mums work tweet tweet ,0.0
5828,nói  ăn thịt nướng làm đàn ông khó có con     theo bacsigiadinh  ,2.0
5829,qcmartinez going to the seaport gonna walk the brooklyn bridge then getting grimaldis ,0.0
5830,xgreenmints  dont leave me,2.0
5831,taking the  year old to the doctor this morning she says her stomach still hurts and is totally lethargic  im worried,2.0
5832,rt fact when someone tickles you your laughter is actually a sign of panic anxiety and nervousness,2.0
5833,too many issues with adobe audition and windows  had to go back to windows xp ,2.0
5834,good night people ,0.0
5835,last day for free er with purchase here  check out my designs and promo here wwwaljdesignsetsycom if you havent yet ,0.0
5836,cant sleeeeep amp i miss my long hairrr ,2.0
5837,rt relateshitt anxietydepression is scary af you push away everyone that means the most to you and you start to hate the person you are,2.0
5838,matthewkheafy i most definitely would if i lived there stupid ireland being so far away  httpbitlyddmcu,2.0
5839,girl i loved and loved me back for a short while basically kicked me to the curb and showed she didnt give two shits about me she was everything to me and i was nothing to her i dont have anyone and dont know how much longer i can go on i wouldve done anything for this girl she was the most beautiful girl i had ever seen her eyes were big and full of life and always had a shine in them and were worthing looking into for eternity her smile was tiny but i would do anything to see it one more time she had long beautiful brown hair that accentuated her pretty face i would tell her this everyday when we started talking and then one day she lost complete interest she stopped messaging me as much and then the next day came and the next and we stopped talking completely she told me she loved me back she told me she liked me and then today she didnt give two shits about how i felt how can someone you love be so crueli feel like ill never meet anyone as beautiful and caring as her ill never find someone i love as much as i love her i dont know what the point in even staying alive is before i met her i was looking into buying a gun now i think i might continue that plan,3.0
5840,the wisdom this is a word ,0.0
5841,  you should   its so sad when edward leaves bella ,2.0
5842,dravenxiv ooh lovely dragon did you find it hurt on your ankle  mine did ,2.0
5843,i miss dean ,2.0
5844,never goes away every day i wake up i pretend im okay i look in the mirror and never fully connect with myself i look at a numb hurting soul my heart is full of love for others and even myself i do love myself i love to enjoy life i just cant get rid of this depression that has been consuming my soul lately i feel like im doing everything wrongi feel like everyone is judging me no matter how hard i work or be a good put together person its never good enough if i slip up once i feel like a failure loserim a care giver and i put my whole heart into other on a daily basis but its just not enough i feel like im always doing something wrong and im sick of it i think about suicide frequentlyi cant help myself when im alone its like the only thing on my mind i know i have a lot of people that love me and want me here thats why i havent killed myself yet because i dont wanna hurt others im trying to work hard and hang out with friends a lot to not think about my depression and i know thats not healthy im really struggling and at this moment im very depressedim sure no ones reading all this but its good for me to get this off my mind maybe someone could help me with some advice,3.0
5845,as to work on getting summer fridays for the company she works at  ,2.0
5846,rt larrayxo if youre ever sad just know last week i had a boyfriend for literally  hours i wish i was joking,0.0
5847,misses having a roommate that would go get ice cream or go to the store in the middle of the night kuhn that means you ,2.0
5848, oh you are welcome and sorry for not reply you until now lol ,0.0
5849,i always fuck myself over i always let opportunities go and play the blame game i am sick and tired of this bullshit i need to take responsibility but its hard to swallow the truth i hate school so much i have trouble doing work and often give up  getting cited as a lazy person fucking hell  its not like im a genius all i know is that i will have a shittier life after i graduate high school not good looking   not smart  bad personality nothing to offer the world really ,3.0
5850,whats the point dont see the point of life i have no passion for anything im halfway through my bcommerce degree but really struggling to finish it cause i just find it pointless what if i dont get a job what was the point of all the money and time wasted on it i have no hobbies i literally just work monfri at a dead end job making  go home and do nothing repeat for the year dont have many friends no relationship i honestly feel like even if i won the lottery i would just pay off my parents mortgage i still live at home give them money quit my job so i wouldnt have to work anymore but i would still be depressed great i dont have to worry about money anymore but i still would find life pointless even with a couple million dollars like what is the end game,3.0
5851,where did my half term go ,2.0
5852,cant get hands off my face im sitting in public transport where im facing other people and i feel so disgusting and ugly that i couldnt take my hands away from my face people must think im a fucking weirdo now im crouching behind my backpack typing this what is this has anyone struggled with the same thing ,3.0
5853,btsmint aghhhh  this is so sad 😭,2.0
5854,i am so proud of myself for being almost finished with my portfolio  normally i would still be procrastinating yay me lol,0.0
5855,going to smoke a bowl ,0.0
5856,great day today  ok been awake for like  min  anyhow aunts birthday  cake in the sun ,0.0
5857,sunshineeme well me too but i dont wanna be a third wheel  so if you guys go have fun ,0.0
5858,i cant take this anymore i graduated last november with an honours arts film and french degree from the top university in my country im multilingual wellspoken welleducated and have worked and studied hard for what i wanted all my life as i write this its  im sitting on my bed in tears about to head out the door to my minimumwage deadend customer assistant job at a cinema that ive been working at for the past two months for an  to  shift my degree is lying unframed on a bookshelf back in my mothers housei cant begin to describe the level of shame embarrassment and anger i feel right now i want to work as a screenwriter and i know that getting work in film is hard but i cant seem to scrape anything relevant to my field at all and when i do theyre in the form of full time internships that i just cant afford the other people who were in my course are probably in a similar position to me but theyre working better paying more respectful jobs than me and can still manage to network the best thing i know i can do at the moment to secure my prospects is to save for a masters degree in screenwriting so i can network and create but i need a way better paying job than what i have now to do that and anyway the thought of doing something every day that i have no enthusiasm whatsoever in is filling me with dreadin the meantime i try to stay motivated and put time aside to write and find a new job so i can get out of this situation but my horrible job saps all of my energy from me and i get so easily overwhelmed and scared of failing that i just feel like killing myselfi have a beautiful boyfriend who ive been dating for a year and a half now hes the only reason why im still alive and why i dont kill myself because i could never imagine an existence without him but i worry that my mental health may overwhelm him he tries to comfort me but in his own words hes really bad at giving advice and can only really say im here for you babe i appreciate the comforting words but all my mind wants now is answers to my problems and stability because im at a point in my life where i dont think ive ever felt so vulnerable and lost its gotten so bad that ive missed my period this month from the pure stress of it all i feel like the ground is slowly swallowing me up and killing me i dont know what to do,3.0
5859,aint at the park stayed in cas my family left me ,2.0
5860,giving up on hearing from ian on his lunch break boo   we def need to get him a new phone and new shoes this weekend period,2.0
5861,watching the best gilmore girls episodegt theyre making fun of final destination ab fab ,0.0
5862,i dont even feel like a person i dont feel like my own person i feel like im an investment that others have put time and money into and i cant feel like im miserable because then im letting them down its so shitty and i hate myself for so many reasons but i cant really show it to people and its awful,3.0
5863,tired of being virgin me im in such a bad mood the last few months im not sure where my lifes going towards im  and the fact that ive never had a girlfriend really starts to hurt my feelings in a major way there is nothing wrong with me physically im a average guy but when you see other people around you that are way younger being happy with their partners its starting to become really depressingi dont know what to do anymore i feel so inexperienced in this matter that i messed up things with potential girlfriends in the past i also get very anxious when trying to talk to or flirt with women i like im an insecure desperate and most of all sexually frustrated mess that doesnt have the energy to go on anymoreive become so frustrated by my lack of inadequacy and fear of being forever alone that ive started to think about visiting a sexworker just to maybe get some confidence and experiencethough im not sure if this is wise i feel that if i end up in a relationship in the future my partner would hold it against me that i paid to lose my virginity if i dont do it i may never end up gaining valuable experience and risk being single forevermy mind is a mess right now i dont know what choice to make thank you for reading,3.0
5864,just so done im so done with everything i just want to kill myself so badly the only thing keeping me going is my little girl who honestly would be better off without me im a shit mom and a shit fiance i work my ass off taking care of my daughter working full time taking care of others taking  college classes and taking care of the house but im not enough ill never be enough for those i care about my fiancé just doesnt get it he doesnt realize how bad things are for me right now even though ive told him im feeling suicidal he doesnt realize that the lack of affection and feeling more like roommates than partners is making me go off the deep end i really want to admit myself to the psych unit but then whos gonna take care of my daughter also its finals week and i cant miss that i dont know what to do anymore im just so fucking done sorry this is so long i just needed to get it out there doubt anyone will read this anyways,3.0
5865,halofenomen runt solen i staffanstorp ,0.0
5866,that made my night ,0.0
5867,depression naps or laziness the world will never know lately i have been sleeping  hours a night and then taking  naps over the course of the day ranging from  mins to  hours no matter how much i sleep i am still tired ill drink an energy drink and crash  minutes later i could also stick to one large coffee in the morning but need to take a  hour that afternoon this has been effecting me for about a month does anyone else go through this if anyone knows what this is about please tell me tldr i sleep a frickton and dont know why if you have ideas about what this is or how to stop this  please let me know ,3.0
5868,looking for some peer support im  years old my friend just passed away spiraling me again into a specific wave of depression where i cant focus on anything and leaving my room is the biggest struggle for me i hate being outside every moment i want to make sure my friends are okay but i dont know how to talk about what happened the wounds are still so fresh yet i feel so little and quiet im getting behind in school because of this and that many other reasons i have too much on my plate and this tragedy just happened all of a sudden i dont know how to process this i havent felt like this since my father died and when that happened i dropped out of school and fell into a deep depression where i couldnt bear to go home and face the fact that i was there without him thanks for listening just looking for a voice its easier to type these things out hoping for some support on my schoolwork i dont want to give school up again,3.0
5869,everybody is sick  now that im fine just can go to bed and watch csi,2.0
5870,at the dome w gogana jackamon jodyjodes  was with annahoosh but she tired  vashluv is having respiratory probs ,2.0
5871,happy mothers day  just tried on what im gonna wear for breakfast and i curled my hair it took forever ,0.0
5872, i was having problems and u left me all alone  u could of left me a plate of cookies tholol,2.0
5873,feeling nostalgic  listening to  country songs and i know the words to all the ones on the itunes playlist,0.0
5874,dougiemcfly doug that would be so awsome best idea i think you have ever had lets do it ,0.0
5875,goin start revising ,2.0
5876,dr khos lawyer is among my legal heroines  i wonder what lpks fellow humanitarian law advocates are thinking now  kho halili,2.0
5877,no end in sight how does a person continue on when its one shitshow after another im supposed to be strong for my wife and kids but at what cost im slowly returning to self medication with drugs and alcohol how do i help my daughter deal with her problems when i cant cope with my own im supposed to be the rock but jesus christ i just want to disapear,3.0
5878,driving to ontario today for computer partsshould be an interesting day ,0.0
5879,got to write all my drama notes for the exam ,2.0
5880,hillaryann im doing quite well  only one half day of school for me this week congrats on your graduation today ,0.0
5881,how do i talk to may parents about getting help i have been feeling awful for the majority of time for the last  months and i always thought it will just pass the truth is these past couple of weeks have been almost unbearable my motivation is practically nonexistent unless its about binge watching netflix and i feel that everything i do is wrong or useless basically a feeling of dread that i cant make go awayi want to talk to my parents and get some help but im afraid that they will either not take me seriously or i would just burden them they are so overwhelmed by everything i dont want to make it worse for them also my younger brother was recently diagnosed with anxiety and mom once halfjokingly told me that im not allowed to have issues too  because they need my help i have really tried to keep this to myself and slowly work towards making it better but i feel so powerless and im afraid i might do something ill regret i cant talk to my friends i dont want them to look at me differently im just lost have no idea how to aproach things and what my next move should befor context im  and still really dependent on my parents living at home,3.0
5882,work sucks today ,2.0
5883,morning everyone just had a really great physio session and am now getting ready for work ,0.0
5884,i wonder if my camping trip birthdays gonna fall through me and my buddy havent really chilled to talk about it ,2.0
5885,is pulling out of town to visit a facebook friend ,0.0
5886,i just got a hey monday shirt ,0.0
5887,christmast oh yes and so far havent weighed in everyone yet mr marcom is the heaviest ,0.0
5888,lifeofcyn oh god me too i have horrible scars from bug bites all over my legs ,2.0
5889,meganwrappe well then were  lucky people who found each other through a certain someone haha we made a  conversation ,0.0
5890,husband and wife depressed ok please be kind ive been suffering for years with depression and anxiety i have finally accepted that i need help im currently on a  plan with my anti depression pills and seeing a psychologist this all increased more so back in november after my husband of  years decided he could not longer handle me and my moods he then proceeded to move in with a female heavily pregnant friend after  weeks he wanted to move back home and as much as he hurt me i forgave him  weeks later he up and left again the problem is he has admitted he is suffering depression also and that the dr hasnt prescribed him anything to help so come later this week i will be joining him to visit the dr to discuss his needs i find he is alot more abrupt cranky and i find im asking have i done something wrong is anyone else out there trying to fix yourself and be there for your partner  i find i get rather upset if i get snappy blunt answers advice,3.0
5891,new cell phone hit me up    im bored only pple w alltel please y  ,0.0
5892,tornando watch till   baseball game was canceled ,2.0
5893,had quite a rough few days im taking this win my insomnia has been getting worse lately and i was back in that dark space in my head where i imagine being invisible to the world which quickly leads to suicidal thoughts i came home and had a cry and finally after  months of procrastinating i made a list of things i need to do to relieve my anxiety once i made the list it all seemed a bit more manageable and it made me feel more in control sure there are still many things that are out of my control and im sure the intrusive thoughts wont stop anytime soon but i feel like this is a turning point for me i keep having these turning points and then have setbacks ive learned to ride the waves and try to stay afloat as best as i can this obviously wont work for everyone it might not even work for me for long but it helped in the most superficial way possible im taking it as a win ,3.0
5894,mileycyrus haha i voted yesterday for you ,0.0
5895,rt scrivodizain sintomi dello stressspoiler li ho tutti ,2.0
5896,andyallen i used to use that combination gd gut ae spiro on my american standard wish i hadnt sold that bass ,2.0
5897,olganunes okay so we have ended up staying up till   enjoy the tits tomorrow im going to strongly consider longterm hibernation,2.0
5898,maximumtheali no sign of florence amp the machines album yet ,2.0
5899, good morning miss nessie  thanks and yes  everything allright ,0.0
5900,ugh why do i stress myself this much 💆🏽‍♂️,2.0
5901,is upset because bekah put souredmilk icing on the coffee cake she just made rendering it unedible ,2.0
5902,rest in peace brother ceci ,2.0
5903, youre going to start the whole depression isnt real situation all over again pipe ⬇️,1.0
5904,petewentz fix my hair please its been deemoized   what do i do ,2.0
5905,morning twitter feenshappy madres day to all ,0.0
5906,what do i do when overcome with a feeling that everyone would be better off without me i try really hard to be a good person and i have quite a few very caring friends im so grateful for these wonderful people i think of all the times ive done something wrong or mean or offended someone and i just know that i dont deserve them i cant help but believe their lives would be easier without me i dont want them to worry about me i dont want them to have to put up with me im sick of fucking up and making peoples lives harder even if they dont see it this way i know its true the sooner i leave the less itll hurt them i just want to go away ,3.0
5907,probablywrong definitely ,0.0
5908,do you think its ok not to have friends i remember the last time i had an actual friend was around  years ago that was also the last time i tried going out to have fun i havent been able to make any friends since then thanks to my social anxiety and i feel like this is wrongim  years old with  social experience and i dont know how to talk to people,3.0
5909,dvdstelt that sounds fun  im debating  either  at work or proevolution later on today life is full of difficult decisions,0.0
5910,yay finally got onto twitter  i havent been able to log on all evening ,2.0
5911,awww ed i liked him too ,2.0
5912,i hate when the only person u want doesnt want youor when they want somebody else  im strongill be ok,2.0
5913,why cant there be  of me i have so much to do ,2.0
5914,bloominglater i love that george will live and get a new face i dont want izzie to die ,2.0
5915,tired all week then cant really sleep due to being restless now tired again  shower work then golf and a relaxing weekend ahead,2.0
5916,at a party and all i want to talk about is padre stuff and i cant  dude anita is dtf,2.0
5917,elizobihfrank wow thank you for the recommendation  you rock,0.0
5918,i busted my toe biking ughhh ,2.0
5919,listening to taylors first cd over and over while studying quotas far as im concerned youre just another picture to burnquot love it ,0.0
5920,youngcash aw man i wasnt invited ,2.0
5921,im so lost i dont know how i let my life get to thisi am in my late  been with the same guy for well over a decade we never married or had kidsi have dealt with depression since cutting ties with my family but my so just points out the facts and says i am responsible for my own happiness he just cant understand and doesnt seem to want to understand just how depressed i ami dont work anymore i have zero family and due to my family situation i never made any friends and dont really know howi have been to therapists for years and they all tell me to leave my bf because he is just not supportive and makes no effort to make me happy just whats logical and rational but i dont really want to talk about that right now they also suggest meetups app but i look at groups and get really motivated to go but then when its time i completely freak out any time i talk to anyone i start babbling like a crazy person who hasnt had contact with another human their entire life if i do find myself seeing anyone more than a couple times that could potentially become a friend i find an excuse to runsome days i just sit by myself and cry i try to listen to music or put on tv as background noise to not feel so alone or just end up having conversations with my catsi just feel so alone every daythanks for listening,3.0
5922,in new york but missing tay cause hes at a show ,2.0
5923,rt  trump derangement syndrome is real therapists report trump anxiety dis  via youtube,1.0
5924,supercheekymonk an unhappy and cheeseless place ,2.0
5925,uniqueguitarist me too  which song  do ya have a fave mcsong xx,0.0
5926,i cant even cry anymore i just feel hollow inside im so dissatisfied with my life and now i cant even cry anymore it feels like any emotion i feel lately is dull and muted i dont even hurt anymore but i would love to break down in to hysterical tears because at least id be feeling something again ,3.0
5927,rt taekmyheart incase youre sad or your tl is ugly ,2.0
5928, yikes sorry its taken me so long to come online tonight  glad youre ok  you missed some fun here in twitter  huggss,2.0
5929,relapsing hard and i feel terrible for feeling bad i was diagnosed with gad and major mild depression about two years ago but ive had it for much much longer it ruined my college gpa ruined friendships and overall has led to so many tears and numbness that just lead to more tears and numbness but a year and change ago i got out of an emotionalmentalfinancially abusive relationship and found someone new who i have been friends with for awhile and he is so supportive and wonderful things got better i wasnt shamed for having bad days anymore or spending extra time in bed i was offered cuddles food movies time alone whatever i thought i needed instead of insults i felt better still had bad days once in awhile but we got through them together and overall big picture my mental health was on the risethe past few weeks though it has been bad ive had more bad than good days lately i worked  jobs before and then this happened and now im down to my one ft job it pays enough to cover all my bills but i was hoping to work all these jobs to get out of the financial hole i was left in and i can only make the minimum payments this stress kicks in my depression and then it spirals to being stressed about my student debt that prevents me from getting into graduate school this making my degree worthless then the stress of taking care of the house and my cats i feel overwhelmed and exhausted but then also terrible because i know other people have it so much worse it all came to a head today when im tearing down my fish tank because hair algae took it over i wanted to clean it all up and replant all the plants to start it over but just got so frustrated and overwhelmed by something that usually brings me comfort and ease of mind i just tossed all the plants in a bucket of water and tossed everything in the basement and just gave up and cried for a few hours i feel like i cant even talk to my bf about it anymore because i just feel like im just bringing him down the dark hole with me i just feel so empty and numb and when i feel anything it is just sadness andor anger,3.0
5930,thank you sweetheart it was amazing love you alex   xx,0.0
5931,ashleeadams  we go through the same thing but it always pulls through and everything will be fine and youll be all smiles soon enough ,0.0
5932,yang kau reply tu mak aku tau agak agak sikit cuba aku kurang ajar dengan mak kau tahulah kau stress habis aku httpstcoysqmrmucab,2.0
5933,nkcruisegrl that is so cool that youre so motivated im trying too  so now its my turnoff to the treadmill ,0.0
5934,rt depressionnote social anxiety feels like there is a spotlight on you and everyone notices what you are doingthis just isnt true in,0.0
5935,rbkcreations i got them today soooo pretty ,0.0
5936,hanging with friend and doin hw guy went to brunch ,2.0
5937,tineshacapri i took the initiative to seek out a diagnosis for my mental health now im thriving in the private s ,0.0
5938,slpowell oh i bet there are cupcakes  im going on  weeks without a cupcake its very sad ,2.0
5939,clighty quotand to the chick at the lightquot  lol crazy ,0.0
5940,my confusing relationship with my ex i just joined this sub and i hope my post follows the guideline but a little backstory to why i felt the need to post on here my gf of a year and a half dumped me out of the blue recently but over the next  months we were on and off because she would miss being in a relationship or realize she still liked me after  months she decided to call it quits for real and this time i didnt fight for her or anything i gave up at this point i was already heartbroken enough fast forward a month and a half and were somewhat good friends were close but we still fight sometimes about small things but nothing serious  one day she randomly tells me shes gonna hook up with a guy which hurt cause i hadnt fully moved on yet but i couldnt say anything cause its fair she had moved on and we werent dating but she didnt stop at that she kept giving me details about her potential hookup and refused to mention his name which again is fine just annoying but the part that brought me here was how she was so excited about hooking up and almost flaunted this to me she talked about the hot pictures they sent each other and how much time they spent snapping the last  weeks and wondering how large he was and if she could take it and all this just crushed me so finally last night i told her i couldnt do this and i wanted to stop talking till i was feeling better it was hard but my cousin helped me through it that nightthis morning i wake up after having a dream about her in which she tells me i think im gonna make a snapchat but im worried it might put u in the backseat of my life idk why but this triggered another panic attack and it prompted me to seek help online ive been through a breakup before where i got cheated on and even that wasnt as bad as this i cant think without imaging her hookup with this guy because of how much detail she went into my stomach is in constant pain and its hard to breath sometimes maybe im being possessive but i honestly think its such a low blow to flaunt that to someone whos ur ex and that u know has some feelings for u and who is already struggling cause of things at home but honestly im open to criticism cause at this point i wanna get better even if it comes at the expense of my ego so if u have any tips of how to deal with this please please let me know because im not sure how much longer i can hold on,3.0
5941,stualpha work to be done first ,2.0
5942,thisiscaliluv i remember that jawn came out datz when a brotha was sneakin ova when moms was at work ,0.0
5943,is gettin daraes things together fa tomor as im at work til  ,2.0
5944,staring in the mirror i have for whatever reason been staring at myself in the mirror for the last couple of nights and feel like nobody is looking back at me has anyone else ever experienced this or something similar,3.0
5945,back to home ,0.0
5946,hilzfuld dang i didnt think about that blech i cant even b moody on twitter ,2.0
5947,has the day off tomorrow ,0.0
5948,btab sometimes i wish i didnt know what i said congrats your my  tweet ,0.0
5949,seventeenforevr i couldnt write it for awhile because my laptop broke but i found the file on my flash drive ,0.0
5950,  iceland in spain ,0.0
5951,i want to die i just want to die right now i wish i was never born and honestly i dont think people would care all that much i know not many people will see this and its okay this rant is really for me i just have no one to talk to and i dont want to say i have depression because im probably just being dramatic,3.0
5952,haoranc go for it ,0.0
5953,im turning  tomorrow i dont really know how to start this off so im just gonna ahead and jump straight into the point also i made this account just to kinda get this off my chest but anyway im terrified of becoming an adult im sure every teen is in some way but i cant help but get sad every time i think about my future what will become of me its almost an irrational fear i cant help but assume the worst of things and im always thinking shit like what if i drop out of college what if im too dumb to even get into college what if i dont get my drivers license where will i go if my parents kick me out how long will i live with my parents etc in essence i just wish i could go back to being a kid again and not have to worry about anything also sorry if this was vague or sounded dumb or anything im just reeeally tired right now and cant think straight but anywhoo thank you for reading and have a good night ,3.0
5954,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,1.0
5955,didnt think itd be so hard to leave ,2.0
5956,social anxiety   i forgot what anxiety feels like ,0.0
5957,i need a new phone case amp screen protector whos buying it for me ,0.0
5958,dmb  tour highlights   hartford added   registration  login required to download  dmb httpbitlymwbyy,0.0
5959,i dont know how to talk to my parents m  i have never told anybody about how i feel really for the past month or so i have had little to no motivation to do anything after i come home from school i basically sit in my room until i go to bed then repeat the next day i have also been cutting nearly daily for the past  weeks i first cut like  years ago but have recently had a habit of doing it to relieve stress when im sad or even just out of boredom i have also noticed that i have been getting really angry easily but i keep to myself i am really scared to tell my parents about anything especially now because we are in the process of moving and  of my family members are depressed i think it runs in the family and i dont want to feel like a burden to them i also sometimes feel like i am faking it or something because i have a relatively good life and my family is supportive does it sound like i have depression and if so how do i talk to my parents about it,3.0
5960,rt coreyhew youre not alone ,1.0
5961,ruleyork congratulations ive seen your show on tv im romanian too great show  im a fan of u,0.0
5962,im a little disappointed  i hoped there would be hot wings,2.0
5963, nothing left to do but sit back relax have fun and enjoy the ride lmbo xd,0.0
5964,unable to do anything i used to feel things now i just sort of feel like i am drifting i suck at nearly everything i try to do right now im trying to work on some code and everything is just going over my head i used to be a musician but now whenever i try to jam or make music everything sounds terrible i used to be able to write yet the lack of attention and other cognitive deficits associated with depression is negatively affecting my ability to put together a cohesive narrative it takes a tremendous amount of energy just to get out of bed my thoughts have become slow and dim and as a result i cant really think clearly at all i also have no appetite i am almost catatonic i have become stupid ,3.0
5965,fictillius but you finally made it glad to see youre alive ,0.0
5966,this is so funny   you dont mess with a mtv movie awards best fight nominee ,0.0
5967,never ending weekendthe night goes quickly while the days drag on ,2.0
5968,vkgoeswild the new cam is awesome better sound and clear ,0.0
5969,better day today ,0.0
5970,i have a headache  going to make some semi home made pizza bought the dough httpwwwraychelllibbyblogspotcom,2.0
5971,i dont want to leave my bed i cant leave my bed when my family is awake i hate seeing them knowing they judge me and hate me i hate that they know im depressed but choose to ignore that part of me and continue judging and hating my life choices i know they hate that i stay up late to play games with friends because thats the one time i feel ok in this house when theyre all sleeping i hate leaving my bed in the morning and having to talk to them,3.0
5972,ive waited  yrs amp since we ordered the tickets for this day finally going to see coldplay in concert tonight so excited ,0.0
5973,unable to sleep  wakeup time at ,2.0
5974, hahaa joes your favourite jonas mines nick we actually share the same bdayy  but i love all three of them ,0.0
5975,im back lanarote was great so sad to be back at work ,2.0
5976,i hope the clouds clear up today this overcast thing sucks cmon its the last day of may june gloom shouldnt start til tomorrow ,2.0
5977,looking for jobs is not much fin is it ,2.0
5978,davebleeds miss talkin to you dave ,2.0
5979,nwoolhouseuk surely ,0.0
5980,ginna afternoon luv  how are u on this beautiful day,0.0
5981,had a great night with family friends and boyfriend  you all mean the world to me  love  you all ,0.0
5982,baby no  im so sad for him,1.0
5983,grahamhancock still stinks for me   now  of our iphones is eligible june  and the other one is eligible ,2.0
5984,once again the liars in my life were wrong things didnt improve actually they somehow got even worse i probably deserve it im not supposed to be alive and im the only one with enough balls to say it what if the universe wants me dead what if thats my purpose we only live to suffer and die id rather just get it all over with now please ,3.0
5985,i dreamt that i owned  ,2.0
5986,lifes been peachy ive always suffered from depression but this past half a year has been super hard on my depression i moved out of my folks house for the better as my dad was a trigger for my anxiety but since moving out depression has been kicking me down its either i dont want to do anything i lay in bed crying or i lash out in anger and pick the smallest fights over everything me and my bf have moved this past friday and i now live  minutes from my old town i cant fall asleep until  am the earliest and in the case of last night  am is the latest i was seeing a therapist but he wasnt a very good one to be honest im now in the search for a new one im thinking i now need to be on either mood stabilizers or depression meds im currently on lexapro taking  mg but it has affected me way worse so i need to talk about switching to a different anti anxiety med not really sure if i originally made this post for advice or just to rant but if anyone has any advice its greatly appreciated,3.0
5987,kindofabigdeal thank you  are you feeling better today,0.0
5988,partypleaser haha its okay i feel the love  please come to australia,0.0
5989,alone in a hotel room in a strange city and really want to kill myself im not anticipating anyone will read this im just hoping that by getting my thoughts out there i can help this atrocious feeling to passthe last few months have just been so awful  i left an abusive marriage and got divorced and moved to a new state to be near my parents  i got a new job which i like but its sucking the life out of me due to unreasonable demands and a grueling schedule and the feeling that im never doing enough  ive gained  lbs back after losing  and just feel so fat and disgusting and ugly  i cry every time i look in the mirror  ive been sick with ongoing illnesses for about  months  i cant sleep i cry all the time and constantly feel like im on the verge of a heart attackim doing all the right things  seeing a therapist getting established with a new doctor taking an antidepressant  i just cant get through thisright now im a few hours from home traveling for work and staying alone in a hotel  ive tried texting my boyfriend throughout the day but hes busy  i havent said whats wrong just trying to get some attention and connection to help and im afraid if i tell him how bad im really feeling that hell get scared off and ill lose him  hes really the only person i have in my life at the moment besides my mom who also just doesnt understandi know i probably wont kill myself  im too afraid to and i have nothing here that could help the process  i just desperately need these feelings to go away and i dont know what to do anymore or who to turn to,3.0
5990,my bestie wanna chill today  so i might go out  think i have plans now   she better be driving though  cuz i dont wanna  ,0.0
5991,is on my way to jax fl just saw a motorcycle wreck on  guy didnt make it ,2.0
5992,visitingg nicole and my niece breanna gonna go get starbucks ryte nowww mmm ,0.0
5993,is drinking barqs and getting ready to eat some pizza and hanging out with brian i like this weekend ,0.0
5994,ashleytisdale so excited to watch hope u win ,0.0
5995,themattyboosh damit was looking for someone to boost it with  ,2.0
5996,yay i haz an excuse to clean my room out we need the garage sorted out for more room mum has gone to clean up ,0.0
5997,courtcosmetics thats amazing lol tell your mom i said happy  themed party day ,0.0
5998,losbadman this is very thoughtful of you thank you ,0.0
5999,i just got icyhot in my eye ouchie where is my boyfriend when i need him  i need to snuggle so bad right now i hurt,2.0
6000,jonasbrothers gt jonas brothers you have made my day  see you june ,0.0
6001,life has lost all flavor i just hate life ive pretty much lost all my close friends and my online friends are starting to go too my schedule is making it so i cant see my partner and i really miss them but ofc im too depressed to feel any happiness so i just drag them down anyway its like a vital part of me that was trying at this whole life thing has given up again its just gone awayim having health issues on top of that on top of that my meds are fucking with my stomach but over all im just bored im so fucking bored of life ive tried a lot of things here museums aquariums bars movies video games tv clubs art reading chat rooms etc but nothing sticksthe feeling might be good for a bit maybe and then it just dissipates back into boredom and depression its like my life is lived in black and white im no good for anyone not my friends or roommate certainly not my partnerso ive dissociated more and more from reality into movies or shows or just scenarios i make up in my head but you can only run so far into your head and the ugly truth is there every day hitting me in the facemy life needs a complete makeover and its not getting one anytime soon,3.0
6002,mgaalex i miss you already ,2.0
6003,watching the poughkeepsie tapes and ordering a huge  off mac makeup haul ,0.0
6004,irememberalways being the pink power ranger ,0.0
6005,  alohapokeco its not a legal battle to use a cultures words and food without educat ,2.0
6006,rt lamaditay its hard to deal with someone whos sad most of the time especially when you fight to be positive i understand that it,1.0
6007,rt jooniefied important notesplease refrain from trending hashtagsif any event needs to be cancelled we should be okay with itdo n,0.0
6008,poor keri i hope they put her on right before beyonce ,2.0
6009,kayleighj thanks ,0.0
6010,eats ritas way too much  but sadly will not be having it tonight because certain people still have to study for finals ,2.0
6011,jodiice oww  id love to meet you so sorry ,2.0
6012,rt ignorantedema the survey looks at how perceived race amp gender inequality has an effect on mental health at work please do the survey,2.0
6013,oh me gosh robert pattinson got hit by a cab in ny ,2.0
6014,possessedangel driving down late late tomorrow night prob wont be there til  and staying til monday ,0.0
6015,kamincali i tried changing my default picture but twitter is giving me grief  ,2.0
6016,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
6017,gby sounds like your not having a good time with computers loli just woke up  xxx,0.0
6018,amous just woke up about an hour agono coffee this morning but my protein shake is yummy ,0.0
6019,i miss singapore the stress of school has already come back ,2.0
6020,had a real shitty day  its  much  wish i was anywhere else but here,2.0
6021,dawizonline best of luck sweetie  will pump you for details later ,0.0
6022,i feel bad for being depressed i have an absolutely beautiful wife two healthy smart and loving children my family connections are strong i have a job and a side business that allow me to make more money than i ever thought yet i am depressed i have had instances of ideation but what keeps me around is my kids i lost my mother at a you age i dont want to have them lose their father at a young age so many people on this sub are dealing with such difficulty so their depression makes sense whats my deal ugh i feel guilty for being depressed,3.0
6023,thelongmile at least they have try it  i dont know much on the server side to be honest,0.0
6024,alittleofme salamat  ill keep on being so bad wahahahahah,0.0
6025, awesome yes small tweetup would be great  thanks for thinking of me in relation to mosaic,0.0
6026,saturday and the weather is horrible amp just home after finishing my leaving cert english exam  why does the sun disappear for the weekend,0.0
6027, i dont have a story  ill tell you later concert was great though,2.0
6028,this shit gave me so much anxiety ,1.0
6029,brr its  in san antonio in may ,0.0
6030,bittenbefore   so wonderful i love to visit too this kind of place ,0.0
6031,rt darianalisele stress didnt really go with my outfit so i left her at home 🏖 ,1.0
6032,rt thequeensheart may is mental health awareness month never let anyone suffer in silence if you need to talk i am here i understand,1.0
6033,who is ready for change together  hi redditorsi want to create a community where like minded people that are in the same boat can meet each other in person and onlinemy target market are those people that are stuck living at home with their parents in their  or  and want to completely change their life the people that dont have a job a degree girlfriend friends nothing to life for basicallyi want to create an online and offline community to gather together and hold each other accountable for our change and support each otherit will become a global movement eventually but i want to first start out as a local initiative in my city i am from the netherlandsi am thinking of starting off with a facebook group but where can i my people and make them a part of this community,3.0
6034,garcevisage  aww did your mic work at all,2.0
6035,nothing in my life makes sense anymore recently ive gotten to a point my life where nothing seems to make sense any more where i need answers some type of belief to hold onto but come up empty every time it feels like my life is some worthless clowns theatre that god the universe or whoever is having fun at my expense so much suffering and painful experiences recently that i just have to laugh at how ridiculous it is and how my life has become i try do everything right and still end up shafted im a truly flawed and fucked up individual but i realize everyone else is suffering too human life is suffering i just dont really see the point of anything anymore it all just seems hollow and humorously ridiculous   im not suicidal but i dont see how i can ever attain any real level of happiness maybe i can at least reach some level of peace if i learn to be comfortable with the void,3.0
6036,caitlinaudrey i cant get off work  plus i really dont see the point in driving  to say hi for  seconds,2.0
6037, thanks good to know im not alone ,0.0
6038,does not know what to do today  the weather sucks,2.0
6039,keithjackfans im related to john barrowman ,0.0
6040,kirstiealley  girl you just kick ass ,0.0
6041,am i the only one thats going through the motions everyday pretending to be happy fake smiling fake laughing pretending to care about other peoples superficial bs then telling them your own superficial bs because you dont let anyone inside anymore thats oddly generous because you dont care about metal coins and paper or plastic with imaginary value that wishes you could sleep until you wanted to wake up whod jump in front of a knife or bullet for a complete stranger not because of kindness because for one you dont want to be alive anyway and two its a perfect out to fool the selfish people in your life that want you to be happy for them and not for you the only thing that would make you happy you are not allowed to do or even talk about youll get put away for it youll become an outcast just for trying to be happy like everyone elseam i the only one,3.0
6042,too  much  fun  lmfao  now i need someone to talk to  ,2.0
6043,mornin world hmmm i was supposed to be up early oh well ,0.0
6044,listening to pogo over airport into basement stereo myryad amp amp power amp amp ruark speakers wobbling chest ,0.0
6045,wacthing tv with the sis thinking of him even though i shouldnt be ,2.0
6046,guessed  out of  correct respectable but not enough to win ,2.0
6047,what a beautiful day rainy and miserable the beginings of winter have arrived ,0.0
6048,nursejennifer it is a shame you have to leave now ,2.0
6049,is having a cup of spiced chai tea with some toast and jam in bed headache and upset belly ,2.0
6050,please help me i hope someone is listening i dont want to feel like this anymore its been too long and i cant cope or get through the day i just want peace ,3.0
6051,fuckcity glad you feel young im  years younger than you ill turn  this summer and feel old ,2.0
6052,i lost everything except the pain what now a lot happened im not talking what now because i already did talk about a little bit but since some things happened and my mind snapped i lost my taste my motivation for everything my drive to go out of bed and also my emotions i feel nothing i am empty it feels like my mind is severed from my body the only thing i still feel is this really intense pain coming from my heart it feels random but its starts always when i try to think about some of my problems my heart will suddenly pump like crazy and it hurts and my whole body feels uneasy and because of that i cant do anything as soon as i stop ignoring everything it hurts and i am lonely i have no one that i can take into my arms and cry my eyes out i dont know what i should do will it get better someday or do i have to live like that until someone or something kills me ,3.0
6053,goodnight twitter land people  es is taking it in sniffing sadly  until next time yall hold it downmuah  sleep tight,2.0
6054,canadalyons thanks debbie downer ,2.0
6055,wellbutrin and shaky handslegs i am recently on wellbutrin  and realised that i started to have really really shaky hands that would not stop shaking and i couldnt write as well as i do before the shaky handsi also have muscle spasm when i am not doing anything like when i am trying to get to bed and is lying still i am wondering if anybody experiences that as well and will it go away i am on prozac  while using wellbutrin  ,3.0
6056,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,2.0
6057,thekush or it tells me something about mine patterns exist for a reason  ,0.0
6058,today is so hot right but rain came pouring down for a while during the blessing of the bride amp groom it was amazing ,0.0
6059,thekbuzz thanks keep providing the wom marketing goodness and ill keep spreading the message sharing is caring ,0.0
6060,i stayed up till the sun came up ,0.0
6061,so iam hanging out with my brother and his friends at disney land and iam hella bored so someone text me please   kmk,0.0
6062,the battery on my wii remote control is sooo boros and now i cant play nbaall star  ,2.0
6063,doing my science homework  harder sheet and it is harder atm ,2.0
6064,jbc amp beach with michael its his last day here ,2.0
6065,mizzworthy hello my sweet  hows your day been ,0.0
6066,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
6067,off out for a jog in the rain  hoping not to freeze or drown sad that ill have to go without my tunes   still at mums ,2.0
6068,for mr c  ♫ ,0.0
6069,theellenshow cant send in my answers cos im not in america  damn,2.0
6070,i have neverending bad luck and its destroying me everything goes wrong everything fucks up not even just in life with relationships everything breaksits like if i touch something it breaks when something starts going well something fucks upi started making progress on a song im writing today and my audio interface broke really important part of recording its like im not allowed to do anything i enjoy something always goes wrong,3.0
6071,damn i want these thongs so bad but too pricey for the moment  ,2.0
6072,rt jaeekaee stg ,2.0
6073,is not very well ,2.0
6074,wow i realized i havent like ever updated on my twitter lol epic fail soooo    i guess i am updating now i finished my project ,0.0
6075,pinkstwitfans i noo  when is your daughter  ,0.0
6076,why does one life matter why do even strangers care when one person wants to commit suicide why does anyone care if just one person of this entirely full word die,3.0
6077,fritime is over now  back to chilling d,2.0
6078,has nothing to do so im finally gonna watch quotthe notebookquot  text me,0.0
6079,ive just found the perfect dress for wembley but the zip was broken and they didnt have any more ,2.0
6080,astrilina i wish i had one of those right now tengo hambre ,2.0
6081,lolstephy just remember to breathe  lol shakes,0.0
6082,rt  grammarose  dilaraesengil truthseeker scratchhere mrsimonmorris   onebig,2.0
6083,if you see  s twitter page he hasnt mastered the art of dming yet ,2.0
6084,so any other night i cant find anything good on tv but tonight there are  different shows i wanna watch all on at the same time ,2.0
6085,jonathaninoff tadinho ,2.0
6086,debbrarchie because i havent seen the dentist in idk how many years i want my teeth checked ,2.0
6087,good bye richmond  nova traffic sucks damn it i love k perrys new single tho,2.0
6088,jdpublic twitpic clips the bottom of the flyer ,2.0
6089,is going to work ,2.0
6090,i think i should learn how to make love to somethin innocent wo leavin my fingerprints ,0.0
6091,so stoked im seeing no doubt tomorrow on the ellen degeneres show ,0.0
6092,when everything goes to shit at once been having a rough time lately left my job on bad terms and found out the guy ive been dating is seeing a bunch of other girls its honestly funny how quickly things can go from being ok to complete crap in such a short time i dont have the energy for anything and have just come to the point where i expect to be disappointed at least i know i dont need to get my hopes up for stuff anymore,3.0
6093,oh why is this day not over with yet  ,2.0
6094,as per usualsweeeet practise ,0.0
6095,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
6096,rt jmsknt won jane enjoy the money i hope it makes you very happy dear lord what a sad little life jane you ruined my night com,1.0
6097,dnt feel like moving wanna take a sick day for my mental health that is  what ya think,2.0
6098,soo excited for the laker parade im coming from phoenix az to beautiful home in laca i cant wait to see the  nba champs ,0.0
6099,doesnt feel good today very sad ,2.0
6100,i have way too many applications running  feeling very sorry for my poor mac ,2.0
6101, hiya thx  follow do u like games then join this awsome site  and u can meet me  my friends  r ,0.0
6102,arianesherine hahaha at least you remember me so thats a bonus at least  things are good just arranging my move to chiswick exciting,0.0
6103,loyaleagle good catch  thanks a bunch have to put up a new widget ,0.0
6104,hello im not really sure what i need but i think i need to make this post forgive me this is my first post and im on my phone i just need to vent a little im  and i live in a pretty big city my family has always been nonexistent for as long as i can remember and ive moved so far away from the friends i made in highschool that i havent talked to any in years i tried to go to college but failed two classes and was put on academic suspension i couldnt bring my grades up and ended up dropping out i didnt have and support from scholarships or family so all the loans were on me ive never been a good student and now that the grace period is over i have all the debt and nothing to show for it fast forward a bit and i still have no real out of work friends and the in work friends feel polite at best i was evicted because i couldnt afford car loan student loans credit cards rent and food i had to give up my dog ive had through all of this to the spca because i couldnt take care of her and ive been crying in the back seat of my car in a walmart parking lot for the last two hours because this is where i live now someone please tell me where the bright side is in all this,3.0
6105,gerritv whats more we get a slew of hideous adverts every  seconds  the race is as much adverts as it is actual race amp us tv,2.0
6106,holidays yay  gonna make my walls purple and pull out the carpet  will take hours ,0.0
6107,kidqdi dude wheres ur profile pic  ,0.0
6108,listen and u will hear deathandtaxesmusicmonday ,0.0
6109,brendadada join the club  lettuce leaf with grated carrot in it for me ,2.0
6110,  kendras on twitter  i knew youd wanna know  kendrawilkinson  ,0.0
6111,kateforster thats so sad 😞,2.0
6112,stuartcfoster months later nothing happened  ,2.0
6113,bigbrowneyes good morning   how are you,0.0
6114,i want to die my first visit to a psychiatrist just made it worse i couldnt even tell her my symptoms properly  my anxiety shot through the roof when i sat down and she kept asking me whats wrong  what problems am i facing i could only tell her so lil just that i hallucinate and hear a voice when i dont sleep because of my anxiety she didnt seem interested in whats been going on i couldnt tell her how i felt or anything i feel so much worse i feel like i fucked up so bad now i dont know what to do  i told her i wanted to die and this was my last go at things  she just told me to get admitted into the hospital  i refused i just cant anymore  imma work up the courage soon and do it,3.0
6115,morning  having withdrawals so going to my fave store today  sigh  the life of an addict ,2.0
6116, im on my ipoddd  i wanna wait till i order it ,0.0
6117,kristencarta  im not over today but i am over this lame weather,2.0
6118,im not sad,2.0
6119,wooo pacquiao   rounds is faaaast,0.0
6120,wow keitholbermann worst person in the world smh httptinyurlcomncavfb what a shame ,2.0
6121,oh interesting double minor penalty come on you can win if you score on both ,0.0
6122,samshepherd darn i dont seem to be very good at this ,2.0
6123,paradeofchaos i had work brother  are u in revolution today i got a meeting at  but ill pop in after,2.0
6124,nethhhhhhhhhh aw sad kala ko sa taga baliuag,2.0
6125,help im sorry i went a couple months without cutting and i relapsed today im sorry im a failure im sorry jellybean im sorry fallon im so sorry,3.0
6126,abledragon jst had my wordpress up still learning how to work it though  httpthestringsattachedw off to bed now ,0.0
6127,getting ready for classim sweepy ,2.0
6128,radha that keeps track of your eating habits some servicebot i guess having rice and dal  ,0.0
6129,jakewil hahah im horrified someone of your vocal stylings watched wait maybe i will make it a summer jam and funk it up ,0.0
6130,lovelylondon  no brandy here maybe just tea,2.0
6131,thefirstsight dont worry i understand you sometimes my internet is so freakin slow too ,2.0
6132,rt septicnjh please retweet for anyone who may need it i saw this on tumblr and i cant stress this enough how important this is to not,1.0
6133,okay my socsci prof is soo kind she already  dismissed us going home now  tired,0.0
6134, will be just like  which means i still wont find a group of people that would want to hang out with me since for a reason or other nobody likes me guess ill be stuck every weekend in my room playing video games or watching tv series just like  i hope your year is going to be better than mine,3.0
6135,i need some cheering up  some kind words for me post em on my blog ,2.0
6136,yraglau sweet thanks gary  wheres peter pan hahhaa,0.0
6137,on our way to the wedding i xd the orange dress too bright and la for this rainy day ,2.0
6138,too lazy to type from my blackberry sooo  hi  working again and goofing off on my laptop ,0.0
6139,its alright ok im so much better without you ,0.0
6140,heoneydimple aniyaaaaaa i say no but im rlly sad that they arent performing one of their best songs,1.0
6141,today poem the pull of timespreads its blackened wingsover megrief holds me underin the tub thats the worldi constantly feel the blackness try to suffocate meespecially in my going to sleepand wakingthe dark follows me like a shadowit gets in my car with me sits with me at my deskgets in my bed and lays downhow many times can you plan a suicidetake some pills pull a trigger pull in to the opposite laneits constant never ending drowning the water that i always loved willone day take me downbut that is okit is as its meant to be,3.0
6142,thejenproject if i wasnt on a floating island id be all over your project  good luck,0.0
6143,what a horrible week ive had ,2.0
6144,wheezkee  oops didn t realise  ,2.0
6145,lambertjd eminem you now have zero credibility ,0.0
6146,happy mothers day ,0.0
6147,just got home and i didnt get drunk  ,2.0
6148,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
6149,pmeanwellralph oooops lol worth it though especially if not your bath unless you had to pay damages ,2.0
6150,splanchna wow thats crazy are you feeling sad or happy to leave lyco i cant imagine ever going back ther without you being there ,2.0
6151,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,1.0
6152,rt septicnjh heres the suicide hotlines for your area please dont be afraid to call it your life matters ,1.0
6153,alexislyon good morning  aw her paws sound adorable    what is a blamauge,0.0
6154,quote some people are addicted to anger the only way they can relieve their depression and feel alive is by creating conflict,1.0
6155,my friend is sad all the time since last year she has been very sad every night every day shes sharing all her thoughts i have been giving her advice and it helps her somehow mostly all her problems are rooting because she doesnt want to feel that she is left out by her friends ,3.0
6156, jtwc tropical depression  jongdari warning  sixteen warning ,0.0
6157,polaroidcandy people can be dicks ,2.0
6158,jonasbrothers joe do you like tacos ,0.0
6159,fredbarrientos to bad shes not thinking of you ,2.0
6160,as stupid as those nike puppet commercials were the ones with lil dez are pretty funny ,0.0
6161, of course ,0.0
6162,just got to practice ill have to run soon yea ,2.0
6163, ah thats a shame richard  where did you buy it from theres a lot of dodgy items around ,2.0
6164,wickalicious yeah and its to be released in november thats waaay too soon theyre going to rush it ,2.0
6165,work  ,2.0
6166,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
6167,schofe funny on this morning this morning weird saying that not long till ferne goes hey  boo who love you guys have a nice day,2.0
6168,rt officiaijcoie my anxiety has anxiety at this point,2.0
6169, internet bandwith is not enought ,2.0
6170,howthebodyworks i wonder if wm is being unkind to this track too ,2.0
6171,back again had to restart my laptop ,0.0
6172,flylady which fell over in my car on the last turn before my road now taking a spoon amp going outside to repot the plant amp get the dirt ,2.0
6173,gonna be  this year and i feel like ive wasted my  when i got out of high school i only knew i wanted a job that had security so i picked a trade i have been doing it all of my  and ive made decent money and even bought a house but im not happy i have no drive anymore to keep working up the ladder im exploring options to leave my current to to try a new one at first it will be a pay cut but ill move back up quickly and there are mandatory raises apart of me is afraid to make less money even if temporarily a growing part of me just wants to get out of what im doing even if it means having to get a little side hustle to make up for the lesser pay i dont even know if this is where i should post but i just needed to type this out,3.0
6174,one of my ratties has a tumor  ,2.0
6175,my stomach is turning  i hate thiss,2.0
6176,i cant sleep someone keep me company ,2.0
6177,just got home totally got made fun of by the checkout cashier guy in belair  jerk,2.0
6178,math quiz if meow   but allergies    then meow  allergies  ,2.0
6179,solangeknowles welcome to the uk ,0.0
6180,i feel like im going to snezze and my nose is really hurting ,2.0
6181,pebble beach i dont know how to golf sadly ,2.0
6182,saw this question in another sub but it was old and innactive so i wanna ask you what does your depression feel like i will describe mine here but with some loose text i came up with while trying to describe it in that questionbut i basically feel like not wanting to be with people but also a deep emptiness when im alone nothing i do is fun or fulfillment not even the youtube videos i used to love when i was younger bring me joyi often feel and believe that nothing is gonna change and everything will be the way it is now no matter what i do because im poor and life is rough theres no one who can hold me and handle my problems the way it makes sense my mom tries her best and i love her for that but she just doesnt get it i might be happy at work or in college but it demands a lot and i mean a lot of energy just to get through the day and when i finally get home its just sad empty and it perpetrates that i am misarable live in a bad slum with uncivilized neighboors who make loud noises and i cant handle that and this feeling of not being able to protect my family as a man because im small and pathetic and not rich enough to move to a better neighborhood is part of what sucks my life out of me,3.0
6183,goood morning work again today i think im getting sick  x,2.0
6184,sometimes i just wished breakfast would cook itself ,2.0
6185,i feel so tormented i feel so lost ive made so many goddamn mistakes it feels like everyone mocks me like everyone hates me that my fate is sealed for not long from now ,3.0
6186,kaitlynschutza hahah turn that frown upside down ,0.0
6187,kissed a cute guy and now im having a panic attack ive survived two sexual assaults i have a history of nightmarish abusive relationships and i didnt exactly have a healthy model of relationships growing up in my dysfunctional family i understand why i feel this waybut it still frustrates me that i cant have a normal reaction to a pleasant  encounter and although i dont actually enjoy being alone being alone seems easier than having to deal with sex and relationships i dont really wanna talk about my romantic dysfunction with my friends so i just need to vent it here ive done so much personal work with therapists meditation and mindfulness training but sometimes i still just want to scream why does this have to be so freaking hard for me aaaaaahhhhh,3.0
6188,my dog gets anxiety in the car and whines the whole car ride unless i hold his paw lol ,2.0
6189,largewang get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
6190,stuck at my cousins baseball game pleeeease talk to me all sports bore me ,2.0
6191,my head is aching ,2.0
6192,watched transformers  yesterday wish my car would transform ,2.0
6193,thenortherner awww have a good weekend dearest ,0.0
6194,i dont feel like doing anything i dont feel like exercising i dont feel like going for a walk i dont feel like writing a rap because im depressed idk how to do something when i dont feel like it like it like i feel lethargic,3.0
6195,curses sims  took away  hours of my weekend ,2.0
6196,completely exhausted after a lot of canoeing yesterday lots of logjams ,2.0
6197,just wanna forget all the stress and be happy,1.0
6198,i just deleted my blog   i decided that i want to regroup and decide what direction i want to take the blog,2.0
6199,marikaday i wanna know   why cant they give it early ,2.0
6200,about to try going to the gym to work out before schooli believe ive finally transitioned to fullon insane ,0.0
6201,cyclical thoughts this is gonna be long im turning  soon there hasnt been a day in the past  years in which i didnt think about killing myself ive been a depressed teenager for as long as i can remember but shit got really hard when my first and only real girlfriend broke up with me she seemed to be the only thing to give light to the world and im not even being poetical when i was with her i felt i had purpose that i could pursue whatever goal i set however i was childish and inexperienced and the relationship only last a year and half its been five years now ive had other people in my life but i dont really feel like im alive at all every day i think about her every day i think about how useless i am and how dumb i was for screwing everything up its such a recurring and invasive thought that it impairs everything i do i couldnt finish any type of college course or higher education i cant get a job i cant see a purpose in it yes im living with my mother and she supports me in all this but its a pain to know that im a burden however i dont see a point in pursuing anythingmy psychiatrist diagnosed me early on with cyclotomic bipolar disorder  depression ive tried to kill myself  times already and been twice put in a mental institution for a week or so the most recent in october of the last year  stuffed myself with all prescription medication in the house and lots of alcohol stabbed my leg with a pocket knife spent  days in the hospital you know before that last attempt i was always getting in and out of depressing states they were more or less intense ive done a lot of drugs and alcohol in the last five years  everyday thinking about my ex girlfriend and about killing myself but then after being so close to death after losing a lot of blood from the wound in the leg and after realising how fragile i am and how somewhat easy would be to attempt it again something changed inside of me the fear was kind of fading you know but ive been trying to get better on the surface i really do want to die you see but i guess we all have some sort of instinctive block that prevents us from hurting ourselves life has no meaning for me without her and i know in general that life has no meaning i have nothing to seek after i have no will to go after a job or go outside and talk to people im the guy stuck in the bedroom playing world of warcraft and stuff everyday the urge to just cease existing gets a tiny little bit bigger and the overall emptiness and realization of how easy it would be gets more and more room in me i do drink a lot yes i know it only worsens the depression but if im not drunk i get those fierce intrusive thoughts reminding me of how useless and lonely i am of how i couldnt do right for the only person who looked at me with love and understanding might seem exaggerated but it is really hard its like a whole text of bad things being said to me by me in a fraction of second every fucking second that might be what they call anxiety i cant keep up with it anymore its soulcrushing as fuck ive been trying to stay afloat the last few months doing exercises regularly trying to focus on what i enjoy doing drawing pretending i could be an artist someday trying to stay active in social interactions fake till you make it right but i just cant keep at it anymore since last friday ive been spiraling down again into apathy and self loathing who do i think im fooling i live with my mother and my sister my sister is the only person for which i worry in case of my suicide i wouldnt want to scar her for life since we are very close but that doesnt seem to be a strong enough reason for me to stay alive i wouldnt be here enduring her suffering nor mine after all and im filled with suffering already im planning to end it soon but i dont feel confident about it either there is a part from annes rice novel the vampire lestat in which a character is in insufferable pain from tuberculosis and stays put in such a position that increases that pain to its limits so that she could gather the strength to accept death without second thoughtsthats my mindset thank you if you read all this i just had to vent everybody else is already sick of my shit ,3.0
6202,how do i win my battles i feel as if im always fighting with myself whether to make the right decision or the wrong decision out of lack of self discipline and motivation i always choose the easier one that results in myself not becoming better i want to know how i can get better at making quality decisions,3.0
6203,i want to die but i want to get help i want to tell someone i want to kill myself but i dont want to be hospitalized ive been hospitalized before and it was not greatif i tell a doctor or a therapist i want to die what will happen,3.0
6204,kmhatgas quotperfectly goodquot as in quotthey were successful and i needed someone to root forquot    check out my pa birth cert ho face,0.0
6205,is very very happy with the way dell handled his complant  laptop tomorrow thank you dell,0.0
6206,well hello whom might that be is it love moi  xxx,0.0
6207,jarrethhunt   i used to live theree everythingis good gulf shrimp is my fav ,0.0
6208,citysage i dont think ive seen it maybe when i was a kid but i think its time to watch it soon ,0.0
6209,theprophetblog  eves twitter is gone ,2.0
6210,rt ninoderosario depression amp alcohol is finishing the youth,1.0
6211,librophilia yes i totally know what thats like talk moreless in common boo p ,2.0
6212,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
6213,cooking againnn ,2.0
6214,not feelin good ,2.0
6215,back in the land where million dollar homes and  thousand dollar cars are considered quotaveragequot  ahhhwestchester ,0.0
6216,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
6217,did habitat for humanity todaynow bored for the night ,2.0
6218,rain on the way this coming saturday yep  thats right  im on holiday next week  still the allotments need it,2.0
6219,renoah no we wouldnt strike we would just go back to the quotan army of onequot slogan send one guy and the rest of us would take a break ,0.0
6220,pain pain go away   i cant sleep ,2.0
6221,morning twits  cravin ihop pancakes as my starter today but theres no ihop in midtown   hmmm i guess eggos will have to do,2.0
6222,riskybusinessmb hi how are you you opened up my eyes i see you walk acrooss my moon light ,0.0
6223,boom boom pow ,0.0
6224,mightymur very few people can put up bloopers and make it funny  you maam are one of them ,0.0
6225,hello everyone its another truly gorgeous day here long may it continue ,0.0
6226,feeling completely alone ive been basically stuck in my house from pretty intensive leg and foot surgery even before the quarantine i have barely  person that actually talks to me and the look of it being months away has me really depressed anyone else feel the same way,3.0
6227, but there are many issues goin on abt them ,2.0
6228,songbird doesnt let you reset the play count of a track wtf is up with that thats such a simple feature back to itunes i go ,2.0
6229,oh wow  what a terrible night of sleep ,2.0
6230, thehill maybe if he had access to adequate mental health care in a country that would validate and trea ,0.0
6231,goin  bed gnite tweets  will b a better day ,0.0
6232,the level proof i have had my downs and downs the occasional stable period i have not been drinking for a year but did so this evening all was well for quite some time i cannot find a single supportnumber in sweden at this hourto my defense all was well until someone brought up existence just trying to get home now ish,3.0
6233,psychedelics on remission has anyone here tried psychedelics high dose or micro dosing while feeling better what was your experience what do you think the odds are of getting worsealso stories of taking psychedelics while depressed greatly appreciated,3.0
6234,saritaonline youre right thanks it just sucks ,2.0
6235,rt salvationarmyus tbt the salvation army in chicago celebrated the  nationaldonutday in  to help those in need during the gr ,0.0
6236,er that last tweet was to mangacritic  i assume that was evident but still ,0.0
6237,on vocal rest ,2.0
6238,i need some help ive struggled with depression for years im currently helping a good friend of mine with their depression theyre going through it pretty rough seeing as to how they have schizophrenia i need help talking to them they refuse to listen to me right now and i need some way of getting through to them  ,3.0
6239,trohman haha yeh it can  loving the wallpaper dude d tweet me please ,0.0
6240,ereuben  im past the age of feeling guilty that id rather come home and watch star trek than stay out falling about in the streets,0.0
6241,depression is a clue that incongruence is lurking beneath the surface,2.0
6242,depression is weird remember last month when i was doing okay when i was dealing with my break up okay i woke up on time usually i made it through the day i went to classes i did my homework i went to bed at an okay time then i got tired and lethargic i started to cry more often the days started to feel longer and more difficult my temper got short things and people that i loved i know longer found interest in im sleeping more but feeling more tired regardless it hit me today ive fallen back into depression it crept in on me like it always does it just surrounds your life like a bubble and begins to shrink in on you until everywhere you turn is just depression ,3.0
6243,fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckthat is all,3.0
6244, idk how to do it ,2.0
6245, words  it felt like more ,2.0
6246,if you can dream it you can do it  walt disney ,0.0
6247,les baltringues au pouvoir le dernier film produit par la démocratie française les français me font penser au ,2.0
6248,worst start to a new year yet first let me just say that im not entirely sure if this is the best place for this i dont really know what to expect from posting this but i guess im hoping to use it as a way to vent my frustrationslast year on christmas my first  and only girlfriend dumped me and kicked me out of her house im  shes  i didnt really think it could get much worse than that but i guess that was essentially the starti met her at work and still work at the same place while im in college whats more the guy she dumped me for also works there so ive gotten to spend roughly the last year or so watching them be together alone thats not the worst ive dealt with it for a year so far but id be lying if i said it didnt make me feel like shitthen just before this past xmas my brother messages me asking for money which i didnt have followed by my dad informing me that my brother is addicted to crack and thinner than i am  which is saying a lot my bmi is  so xmas comes my brother and i are supposed to have dinner with my mom but my brother cancels so it ends up being just me and my mom alone  which is when i learn that my brother has been asking her for money under the guise of needing car repairs leaving me the unfortunate task of informing my mother that he son is a crack head she didnt take it very well to say this least merry christmas mom your sons a crack headafter dinner i go to my dads which is where my brother is cracked out on the couch with a bunch of his friends over crack is more important than being with your family on xmas i guessthen to top it all off my dad tries to convince me to steal him a tv asking me to put a new tv on my cc where he will then put his old broken tv back in the new box and i can take it back for the return he cant do it himself he claims because the returns people recognize him and deny him returns now merry xmas son mind stealing me a tvi obviously decline and after a long discussion of why i refuse and why he shouldnt be doing that kinda shit he informs me that hes got a court hearing next month because he was caught stealing a grocery cart of items from our local walmart before punching one of the security guards in the face for attempting to stop himmy family has never been the greatest lots of them have been to prison or addicted to serious drugs and always pressured me to be the smart member of the family  go to college and make something of myselfhonestly i just want to do nothing but sit at home i dont feel at all like im the type of person my family wishes i was and i guess i wasnt what my ex was looking for either it just feels like no direction i try to steer my life in is going to lead me to a destination where i feel happy  even with school im not sure if its what i even want or if its just what i feel like i have to be doingif you got this far thank you for reading even if you have nothing to say in response i kinda like the idea of people at least knowing they arent the only one having a shitty time,3.0
6249,i got to eat but ther noting to eat in my shit houes ,2.0
6250, stephfoo hi im foxysmile in dannys idf thread  nice to meet you can i call you stephanie you can call me katharine ,0.0
6251,alyssamilano so does that mean you had pizza and chocolate for dinner  thats a nice dinner  ,0.0
6252,trixietreats  its my favorite one so far,0.0
6253,gotta say quotupquot was predictable but funny ,0.0
6254,note to self this is might be crazy ramblings note to selfthis is not loving myself if i loved myself would i do this to myself if i saw me without a physical form and if in such situation i possessed the power to inflict this upon myself would i i can stop and listen to what my body is telling me its cries are spreading further and further around me the pressure hurts my chest sometimes my feet and knees hurts my back hurts just like moms does and right now that future could be avoidable for me its really time now jen you left it to the deadline as usual but youve always come through were going to use that thats why im going to succeedis this decision leading me to positive outcomes in my life not day not hour not minute will this have a positive outcome in my life  does this choice put others ahead of myself its one thing to help a friend or colleague but in doing so be sure that this individual is worthy of your sacrifices i would like to be conscious of why i am agreeing to do something for someone because i want them to like me i do not need people to like me i am going to learn to love myself  i am deeply unhappy at the circumstances surrounding me and i recognize that i have allowed myself to be a victim of them i pretend that im some strong but wounded figure tragically marching through life riddled with such difficulties a charade a melodramatic stage play im happy about this idea so much potential and its attainable i know i can do it im in my own way like move bitch theres some important shit over there thats good for me okay great you have adhd it answers soooo much be positive about it  what a thing to discover about yourself it unlocks this whole path of further insights into yourself and its beautiful questions and answers fitting together like pieces of a puzzle standing back and looking at the image of the puzzle it shows a piece of myself to fit in a yet larger mystery yep youre fucking depressed and its not all that surprising thats a chemical imbalance in the brain and you are way fucking unbalanced  just read this shit you melodramatic shakespearen lady boyim funny though at least i think im funny and thats something i do love about myself and im going to recognize it moreand anxiety yeah i mean to say i think we have the general story about where thats coming from this is a rescue letter the loving part of me is throwing life rings out like crazy trying to save parts of myself but those parts are placing the back of their hand to their foreheads and fainting on to couches ha great one jen its all going to be okay  ,3.0
6255,im sad i miss you jjong,2.0
6256,aliceletts thanks  i started selling midjanuary so im very happy ,0.0
6257,luvmesomedew sherimount i really need to get away  i need a deserted island and jon ,0.0
6258,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
6259,rt eatpussynotpigs okay but actually having health anxiety being a hypochondriac is the worst thing in the world imagine worrying so mu,1.0
6260,im really really bored here because i have like absolutely nothing to do ,2.0
6261,this week is not going as i had hoped ,2.0
6262,causticchick i hate all of the ducks except hiller gah gtgt this series is not going the way i want ,2.0
6263,is it normal to be happy and still want to die i could have the best day ever but im still wanting to die i dont think i could kill myself but i still do things that could put me in danger like driving without a seatbelt and wanting to crash in to a wall not taking care of my health and wanting to try drugs does depression go away or do you just learn to live with it am i still depressed or am i still in a halfsies depressed state anyone relate ,3.0
6264,ddlovato that quote about being beautifully made is really sweet i think ill try that from now on ,0.0
6265,choles flight leaves in two hours i have less than an hour to spend with him ,2.0
6266,i feel like ive been writing the sixth page of this paper for  hours  why am i not duuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn    going to bed  over it,2.0
6267, everything ok im sensing vegas wasnt as fun as it should have been ,2.0
6268,im avoiding everything i set a plan to finish things and cant it takes me ages to do tasks that can be done with a little focus,3.0
6269,home and chillin ,0.0
6270,lilayy i have until september with facebook unless that was another empty threat from my parents ,2.0
6271,im sick of being a target somebody honked their truck horn extremely loudly at me today for no reason i fucking goddamn hate people like that and i wish theyd just fucking blankity blank insert something i cant sayi go through shit like this all the time where people will argue with me and treat me like shit and intimidate me constantly although im schizophrenic and have already been traumatized enough by bulliesi think theres a huge population of people like this in america can someone do something about this,3.0
6272,torigarbowsky wow we think alike  lol,0.0
6273, yeah i have some nasty stomach flu  did you go to keiths party,2.0
6274,wilsoo no stop making me fail ,2.0
6275,akomuzikera cute when aiden gets a big boy bed i plan on painting grass above the base boards ,0.0
6276,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
6277,i must get some sleep now its  and my weekend is now over   back to life in the hair salon wedsat nitey nite tweeple,2.0
6278,rt   mlvanbrit thomasklinemd starvinlarry headdock opioidhysteria  louisanamom carolyncolson ,1.0
6279,caitlinhosking aww i wish i was there  hope you are having funx,2.0
6280,ha luving facebook its fun ,0.0
6281,so jealous my boss is going to miami ,2.0
6282,happy sunday have a great bank holiday weekend time to get on with some psychology work then french then time to leave for work  ,2.0
6283,pachas was a animal house last night get well soon homie ,2.0
6284,done thanks for allowing me to tweet it to the max ,0.0
6285,erinmusicluver leannedude miss you guys hugs ,0.0
6286,mtv fave moment would have to be when i found out i couldnt watch it until monday  bst kinda unfair on us in europe mtv ,2.0
6287,wow totally just got poned crushed punked however you want to put it  fml,2.0
6288,rt adrowningsouls open letter for someone who battling depression  a thread 🌹,1.0
6289,first patient is ready  i can do it coffee anyone,0.0
6290,dailyexpress what a load of st it takes a lot to omit to your mental health issues its not something you use l ,2.0
6291,really hoping tomorrow night is going to be goooood amp i hope i get something extra out of it ,0.0
6292,the best u ever had is like the best song off that album to meeh ,0.0
6293,broke a promise to himself  thats a way to start your day ,0.0
6294,has a headache and needs to go to bed ,2.0
6295,rt minsjguk i tried being reasonable but sadly there was no way of having a normal conversation with this person i had hoped for better,0.0
6296,oh my goodness that was so much fun except for the fact i didnt get to do half the stuff i wanted to ,2.0
6297,imorente why should every band  singer in eurovision sing in english whatever the country theyre from ,2.0
6298,heading home with baby spit up on my clothes but i wouldnt have it any other way i miss my nieces and nephew already ,2.0
6299,morningreverie qi was amazing loved it i love sfad and jack dee was there  from kingdom so near to meeting hn  thats ok,0.0
6300, amazing i love them hun  now you should make the glyphics that will be totally great wink,0.0
6301,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
6302,im taking more antidepressants than my prescripted amount to numb myself im not in a toxic relationship id say im just more affectionate lovey and sweeter than my boyfriend some people like to show affection and some dont ive learned and it doesnt mean they dont love u just as much they just dont show it and thats how my boyfriend is ive been taking  instead of  of my antidepressants to become numb to the hurt i get from it i hurt my own feelings i have too good of a heart it needs to be lowered i dont really need advice ive just been keeping it in and need to tell someone,3.0
6303,i feel like im going crazy ill keep this as short as possiblebasically im stuck in bed with depressionanxiety i dont leave my house ever and i dont socialize ive tried to find help from multiple doctors and professionals and have found that nothing helps ive pretty much given up i feel like this horrible condition is driving me crazy i havent eaten or showered in about a week and i never do anything except watch youtube videos and go on reddit ive pretty much given up i am afraid of totally losing my mindif youre putting up with any kind illness then you are strong and amazing and i have so much respect for you i wouldnt wish this on anyone,3.0
6304,there isnt enough time in the day i miss my brother ,2.0
6305,kings best game ever too bad im not playing ,2.0
6306,going to the doctors at  for a check up i have to do one for university gosh i hate going to the doctor ,2.0
6307,i cant be on my own i am feeling so anxious and depressed i feel desperate specially now with the quarantine i cannot control the anxiety and desperately looking for people on facebook to get a connection with what can i do i cant handle this on my own,3.0
6308,misuzettei needed to hear that toothanks and see u soon  u know i love me some of your tilopiremind me of my moms cooking,0.0
6309, congratulations  somehow i feel proud   happy for you  ps whats next,0.0
6310,  we are echelon twitizenthis is the echelon take overmarsiscoming marsiscoming marsiscoming marsiscoming marsiscoming,0.0
6311,not feeling very well today ,2.0
6312,morning monday again where does the weekend always disappear in such a hurry to  wish id had an early night now  feel wicked rough,2.0
6313,ahhh i hate shopping with my brother ,2.0
6314,jrusler guess who made you cookies the best media lady in the world i dont mean to brag but theyre real good this time ,0.0
6315,candicejarrett sorry to see that blog news today two streams a day  its sad but ur album is mort important thing now will miss ur,2.0
6316,the story about flight af  is awful omg ,2.0
6317,it s definitely a monday  i popped two tires at once ,2.0
6318,dougradtke whoooo paphi it was my lil bros installs tonight toooo ,0.0
6319,missconstrued i know ,2.0
6320,jordanknight i think jk was injured just got bak from the cleveland show he could barely bend his back he didnt look happy  ,2.0
6321,finished watching episode  of ruby metaprogramming screencasts lots of cool tips great but need to more coding practices to master ,0.0
6322,early birthday celebration with jessicalavolv  free dinner and a bottle at lavo and i have to work tomorrow haha should be interesting,0.0
6323,  makes me a happy bunny ,0.0
6324,woogal cool  presumably for the open sdkjailbroken dabbling with the official one myself,0.0
6325, i love that song by  kol   ,0.0
6326,hellookitty i was referring to a different kind of gun ,0.0
6327,rt tearsbible 📝 thats whats so scary about depression it makes you think nothing else matters even if you have the world,1.0
6328,lstacey and that other dude leaving the underground creepy ,0.0
6329,its my first time here but im afraid im back where i started my depression is a really long story  it originates from being the third girl the first two were always best friends and there wasnt time for me  in the family with parents that thought i was fine and just cried a lot and then the bullying in middle school for my race and the outcasting from my age group in church then my in laws who trying to convince me to get over my pregnancy losses right after they happened but now i have an  month old son that i do everything i can do for and bring lights into my world i thought everything would be good because i had something to live for however im expecting my second and trying to get a career at home going and i feel just as depressed as before i became a mom i never wanted to be back here i thought i beat it but im here crying because i feel like i dont matter even though im expecting a child no one asks how its going no one tries to make sure were okay no one asks about the exciting details even though they were excited before i try to get my mind off of it by continuing my youtube videos because its become my passion but i want to share my passion and yet the fact that i share my content and no one subscribes makes me feel so important i know subs dont happen right away but its the fact that i work hard and its disney and trying to hard to put in the effort for something i really care about and no one cares no one cares its killing me i feel like my own doctor doesnt care and she used to treat me like we were actually friends everyone i think of in my life that should know whats going on with my depression i know will downplay what im feeling or just say to pray it out and ill feel better it wont make me feel better  i want someone to understand that i dont know how to feel like i matter again i hate thinking that the world wouldnt change if i died but its feeling normal again im starting to not care about gaining weight again and i was gaining a good amount before i was proud of it but literally no one else was im underweight i dont know what to think anymore i dont want to give in to my depression again but im breaking and i dont know when its too late,3.0
6330, ill do that ,0.0
6331,fckiinfabulousz werrrrr is ur apartment ,2.0
6332, hope you enjoy itif only for hughbut he may be getting too buff for my tastedont expect artjust a fun summer flick ,0.0
6333, i want my casanova amp clopin,2.0
6334,its freaking cold outside  my dad wont let me turn on the heater gahh,2.0
6335,izzyjishere me too i cried like i knew him when he died my mom had the same type its on ay  on mpt u prob dont get that tho ,2.0
6336,nateflynn heyy i saw you when you was in portsmouth and you was amazingg  lol me and my mates shook your hand p you must come back d,0.0
6337,alexxaviertb majorly freaking out ,2.0
6338,asisharabi was the coffee that strong ,0.0
6339, morning ,0.0
6340,i need a lifeline  the weight of my sadness is too much pressure for one soul to bear alone  but im too tired of ,2.0
6341,featherqueen oooh i was talking to the boy about getting an allotment the other day heard the waiting lists are ridiculous ,2.0
6342,hit my mum i feel like crap right now i  want to kill myselfi hit my mum shes crying i dont feel sad at all i feel empty i just wish i could kill myself instead of continuing with this pathetic hollow existence,3.0
6343,ieanna were watchin it tomorrow after great america ,0.0
6344,popculturezoo great thanks oh youre not a bad fan just a busy one  im sure they would forgive you,0.0
6345,bleedingcoolcom is live everyone retweet retweet like your lives depend on it via richjohnston good luck with the new ventureman ,0.0
6346,mpesce the internet spread misinformation now thats why we still look to tv news to break the big stories ,0.0
6347,hmm tooooooo lazy to go out to campus ,2.0
6348,im a ticking time bomb eventually ill explode and hurt everyone  just a danger to myself and others thats all i am,3.0
6349,rt suzz just told my boss i had depression and she told me to drink orange juice please rt this so other ppl w depression can be cur,1.0
6350,todays the day odays the day that my depression hit hard its been awhile since ive felt like this and its not just a depression caused by being alone on valentines day because im not i have a wonderful boyfriend my depression set in today when i had a horrible day at work and i took it out on the person that means the most to me all of my anger and my frustration came out in a fit of rage screaming at my little sister i didnt mean anything i said but i didnt have time to tell her im sorry either todays the day i realized im a coward as soon as i saw tears in her big blue eyes i ran and locked myself in my room  the things i said cant be forgiven if you knew my sister you would know why thats a story for another day she might forgive me actually i know she will but i dont think i will ever forgive myself todays the day i thought about dying not that i would ever harm myself but i did think about it for the first time in a very long time todays the day i wish was my last,3.0
6351,sophiemcflyx you should try working with two whole octaves its so hard to read  haha x,2.0
6352,mrbigdreams yea ok both yall crazy then lol so ubertwitter the shit right  lol,0.0
6353,i wish i was somewhere fun like ashley or selena ,2.0
6354,last night i had a dream about hayley williams she was really nice  i had good mood when i woke up,0.0
6355,dance recital was great  mall and pool tomorrow    ,0.0
6356,maitorres i also well    besitos,0.0
6357,no more twitter for couple of daysno more internet in fact see you on the other side  x,0.0
6358,mamaphan slhamilton im not on my computer so i cant contribute to the sexy pictures  i will later this is fun,2.0
6359,dnt ask his permission to date him  ugh they always manage to make everything complicated ,2.0
6360,i think im starting to improve i went out to dinner with my parents tonight and we got coffee and hot chocolate on the way home when we got home and went inside i remembered i left mine in the truck so i went out to get it it was cold out cold enough that youd want a coat but not so cold youd be shivering without one just cold i stared up at the night sky and stared each star in the sky contrasting again the darkness there were just a few faint clouds that added to the atmosphere the chances of us seeing that specific star is so astronomically small yet here i am staring at it it died long ago yet to me its shining bright i thought it looked so beautiful and mesmerising i then grabbed my hot chocolate and went inside ive been really low for a really long time and although its just a tiny of a change in me its still enough for me to think maybe im getting better maybe things will get better it might just be a temporary improvement but i hope itll stick,3.0
6361,sun burn is starting to itch ,2.0
6362,freaking out cuz mediatakeout website is not working  i need my dail y gossip,2.0
6363,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
6364,tcollins well ive go the dual version of that because thats all you need when  monitor is a laptop and its getting too confused ,2.0
6365,her lisp is driving me insane  especially because she cant say lilith,2.0
6366,im not ready for school yet college life is this scary  cant actually believe i made it to third year  ,2.0
6367,really need to stop talking about food when everything is closed for the night  guess ill stick with brownies then,2.0
6368,i feel lost i lost my dad nearly a year ago he passed away from an aggressive form of cancer ive had my ups and downs but ive always had a felling of nagging sadness towards it dont get me wrong ive had weeks even months where im feeling super good but ive also still had that little pit in my stomach ive tried to think about all the good times and honestly it doesnt help it usually makes me feel worse i feel like most of tropes that people say just dont help i read about someone quoting it has been said that time heals all wounds i dont agree the wounds remain time  the mind protecting its sanity  covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens but it is never gonerose kennedyand honestly that helped a lot but i still feel like i allow the grief to get me i know time will still help but i get in my moods and allow myself to dip into place where i dont even want to leave my bed for several days i just wanted to express myself because i never have before but i just want to preemptively thank you for being able to share myself,3.0
6369,marcdavies i hate cold too ,2.0
6370,family and depression im the youngest of  kids im  well technically  but i never knew the oldest he was givin away before my time anyway just a observational rant here but i really hate to see families who clearly caused problems for the younger members by blaming or bullying the younger easier target causing me personally a great deal of lifelong depression and anxiety im bipolor and as i get older becoming somewhat agoraphobic i was always the target or others anger just because i was the smallest and easiest to scare or manipulate now im older and i can barely manage to stay off drugs or avoid being violent and i know my family talks shit about me like somehow i chose to break my own mind and while i agree alot of it is my decision making there is a undeniable connection between how i was treated and how i am today it just angers me i seem to have no control of my emotions and i fear losing control of my actions i never leave the house except to go drinking i deleted my social media because i notices none of my friends respond to me or hit me up im isolated alone in the house i was raised in with no one and nothing but this stupid phone and strangers opinions i absolutely hate my existence,3.0
6371,panick attacks last night i drank too much by accident then smoked a bit of weed i ended up having a panick attack because i am all alone and life is so pointless if it wasnt for my daughter i wouldnt be here anymore because im always alone ive been alone my entire life and itll never get any better i ended up puking in bed and i couldnt sit up i had the garbage but missed and puked in my hair i feel so disgusting and worthless i called my mom and o told her i needed help but she refused to come over i understand the covid stuff but i drove her to the shop yesterday to pick up her truck i really feel like no one is ever there for me and like i am not good enough to love i k oe this post is cringey and self pitying i just needed to put it out there i have no one to tell because no one cares about me,3.0
6372,ugh and of course my last backup was a month ago i guess thatll do ,2.0
6373,now im hungover ,2.0
6374,it begins again late night rambling tomorrow i will be going back to school i am not looking forward to it in the slightest to hear where and what my classmates have been doing during christmas and nye and having to worry about assignments and such its gonna be tough but on the plus side it will be my last year hopefully after that i get lots of time to try and get better maybe sooner if i fail my grades have plummeted during the last year but i try to not think about it too much chances are that my disability combined with my depression will render me unable to work and i am very fortunate to live in a country where the disabled get financial aidperhaps the neet life will give me the time i need to find interests and develop a personality beyond that shy crippled person with few words to spare i will also hopefully get a drivers license this year or the next i dont know what i will do with it but it feels nice to know that i will be able to drive i like the idea of driving around just for the sake of it  was pretty shitty for me at least in some areas i had multiple suicide attempts but none worked i also had romantic feelings for someone and i even had visions for a future with them a happy future i havent had something like that in years i even paid them a visit to meet in person it was really exciting to travel abroad to meet an online friend with that being said we sort of fell apart shortly after i went home most likely a combination of my habit of shutting myself away when depressed in addition to their depression maybe we will meet again sometime im not really sure what to think about life anymore i dont feel much sadness not like i used to just indifference towards everything like i dont care about anything anymore i should be frightened to think that i tried to end my life sad that i split from my romantic interest without even a goodbye angry at myself for how i treat myself but there is nothing i feel like ive experienced what i need to experience ive been happy ive had friends moments of intense pain anger sadness depression and isolation a connection to someone else like no other i am satisfiedi can die now ,3.0
6375,bff hi im bffs with someone since sept  til now but i feel like il lose him he doesnt care about my feelings he said our friendship is special cause league of legends he doesnt rly find me funny and he gets close with a girl im alrdy depressed  im  and im obsessed with him hes rly cute and funny but i think he doesnt want me at thispoint im so close to killing myself and i just cant let him go i want to die so badly help me i need help,3.0
6376,lmfao skylar is funny  she loves hispanic men she is mexican at heart even though she is one of the whitest girls i know ,0.0
6377,lalala got my permit yesterday just got back from driving not too long ago ,0.0
6378,hummmmm ohh  i miss you so much really but i hope you have a nice friends like us ,2.0
6379,lunch time  spaghetti bolognese  hmm  my home made still much more better then db kantine one  ,2.0
6380,cikbedah we are starting from nao ,0.0
6381,cpkaranjkar wish i could do that ,2.0
6382,bettas i think swallow has dropsy  i dont want to subject any other fish to what she has and yet id love to preserve her genes,2.0
6383,  i prefer being on my own then with that lot  oooh enya ,0.0
6384,ive just been telling people im getting better for a long while it felt like i was but in reality im just hiding amp lyingill keep up this lie for as long as i live toono one will ever know just you guys ,3.0
6385,is on the way to her graduation  so excited,0.0
6386,not going to prom unlike the the other  million seniors ,2.0
6387,im at school  francisco jomar and trystin are all like quotjasonquot  eeeeeewwww,2.0
6388,delayed depression  coping with a breakupbeing cheated on hi all im sorry for the wall of text im about to unleash ill try and keep it as short as i canim currently going through various periodsphases of becoming extremely depressed and angry about things that have happened to me in my last relationship it was long distance but we saw each other often and for long periods at a time and it lasted around  yearsto put it bluntly it was a terrible relationship for the most part and i was sometimes subject to verbal abuse hypocrisy and him trying to control my life when i wasnt physically with him hed get jealous try and stop me from clubbing when i went to university etc i was nothing like this had complete trust in him and was happy to see him do things with his friendsthere was a short period where i broke up with him in the summer i felt like i couldnt do it anymore and i wish i had stuck with that plan i returned to him around  month later and had to beg and cry my way back in pathetic now that i think about it i shouldnt have went back i had perfectly good reason to leave the relationship was fairly the samei cant say normal after this up until the following summer where i was staying at his house during summer break i found out that he had been messaging a girl over facebook during a week or two while i was in my own country the messages were pretty explicit and flirty i confronted him about this and he admitted to doing it but he would never phrase it as cheating he also admitted to kissing her once i immediately felt useless i dont allow cheating at all but i was stuck in this country and couldnt afford to change my ticket i decided to stay and was stuck feeling depressed for another  weeks until i could go homewhen i finally returned home and returned back to university i got the courage to treat him like he deserved and i broke up with him sharpish things were great at first for a long time i had gained a lot of my personality and social life back and had no commitments it was the happiest i had felt in the long timethe main issue for me is that the depressive episodes thinking about the cheating and how i didnt leave sooner or try to do anything is now occuring way later than i expected its almost as if im going backwards in terms of the healing processwe broke up in septemberoctober its now march and after doing some research im now realising i was coerced into sexual things with him or else i would feel guilty he also often talked about rape fantasies which i didnt agree with i get so angry and depressed thinking about what i could have done to stop things or what i could have done better i dont miss him at all but he has recently got a new girlfriend and im scared for her now he has apologised many times in detail and ive been polite enough to accept iti still think hes trash and he seems to have just got away with itsorry for so much detail but its really affecting me to feel like i havent gained anything from what happened to me it seems like regardless of me becoming more confident and happy being single hes just got away with it and is quite happy and in love whereas im stuck here with my mental health basically destroyedi dont have low self esteem if anything its the opposite but whenever i think about whats happened i just cant bear it and feel completely useless and he hasnt been punished at all for what he didif anyone has had a similar experience with delayed reactions like this please give me any advice im quite a stubborn and selfsufficient person and find it hard to talk about my feelings without seeming weak so it doesnt help at all thank you,3.0
6389,yes lmaoo,0.0
6390,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
6391,hanging out with corey and joel ,0.0
6392,i have been working on a board game for almost a year and it now occurs to me that i do not have any friends to test the prototype with ironic isnt it someone spends a year designing a board game something usually associated with the image of a couple of friends spending time together and i realize that i cannot even play onedont imagine im some kind of inventor who spent a whole year in a basement creating a board game im a business student in college with a lot of dreams and the first one would be to manage my very own gaming business boardgaming that is on my first year of college i had to move closer to my school and i fortunately lost a lot of toxic friends in the process which made me feel better and as a very positive person at heart i looked at it as new beginnings and concentrated full time on my projects this year thinking about how awesome it could be if i could get out of college with a couple of good prototypes to start my career and there i was working every second i could between school and work on my board gamei am good with people i always preferred work over people  and i usually drown myself in my projects im a confident and very positive personbut i cannot connect with people its just something ive been unable to do for a while when my friends has to stay at my home for a couple of days because they have business nearby im glad to help but i hate it because im all work work work chitchatting can only last for so long because i need to return to my work whats the point of existing if i dont give every single second i have to workingi have a tightschedule therere time to work therere time to relax im happy and i run on that tight schedule with glee but you know what throws that away others thats why ive been blindly keeping anyone at bay because you cant fit someone in a schedule thats why anyone intelligent leaves free time in their time managing for others but i aint have time for free time unless its written down in my agendajust finished a prototype for a  to  game i am very proud of it all art drawn by hand all temporary until i hire an artist i wouldnt say i worked on it fulltime for a year it was between other projects of mine but it was the project i focused on the most okay now to find people to test it with well my parents cant be in the same room since theyre divorced so only one of them could come maybe my sister could find time for me too and what about the rest i have friends you know but two of them moved to a city  hours away and we havent talked for at least  months i should stay away from my high school friends but the two guys with whom i used to play games with last summer maybe theyd want tooh my sister cant come because shes with her boyfriend this week okay and what about oh these two are working allsummer at a camp okay then then its me its me and my momit hit me like that like a train crash sphhhrshshk boom i am alone its not about the board game therere ways to get players together for testing it im just sadso so sadi havent realized that i was alone its crazy i dont go out i dont meet with people outside school or work i dont text or call anyone when im bored im just always by myself working then i remember why im doing thisi am good with people at a distance i always preferred work over people because work cant hurt me and i usually drown myself in my projects because it makes me forget all the bad stuff and its the only thing that makes feel like im worth anything i look like im a confident and very positive person but i really am faking it until i make iti used myself to being on my own because i was tired to get hurt and now i realize that i forgot about one very important thing nothing matters if it isnt shared i can make the most amazing things but it isnt worth anything if theres nobody to experience itits scares me to think that im doing it wrong that i misread the manual because now i played very bad cards and i feel like i might lose the game i know that im just having a bad start and usually the good side of me would look for the right way to catch up on the score since i care about the game and i know it doesnt make any sense if i do not aim for the win but right now i want to give up and forfeit im tired to be the beacon of hope for myself im tired of being my own coach my own cheerleader squad i was very depressed in high school and i abused myself to please others for too long i thought i was over it i convinced myself i was i now see that it was just a welldesigned illusion i cast on myself now it ran out of batteries and oh yeah now i rememberim depressed,3.0
6393,sjcnkotb hey thanks for the follow i love meeting nk fans from other countries ,0.0
6394,guillermop very cool cant wait to see it we are still waiting for itunes for tweetphoto  iphone app  ,2.0
6395, youre with my boys  tell them i love them haha,2.0
6396,rt heckisthis girlfriend on a scale of  how much do u love meboyfriend onegirlfriend omg how could yougirlfr,2.0
6397,goodnight ,0.0
6398,when asked to talk through my feelings i become involuntarily mute now that i think about it this is how it has been for a while i had a bad day today and could initiate crying basically whenever i felt like it im asked whats wrong after a particular breakdown  and i cant speak its frustrating because im only making myself more isolated and lonely but it feels like my body shuts itself in and forces me to become mute i feel physically unable to tell them whats wrong to be fair theres never really a good answer so in short whenever im upset i feel like ive become mute which makes me only more frustrated and upset does this happen to anyone else,3.0
6399,crisis text line hey everyone i finally decided to text the crisis line im not suicidal or anything im just scared and sad and i dont know what to do i got super drunk last night couldnt make it to work today currently  beers in today because i hate hangovers i wasnt always this way i hated addiction i had panic attacks so bad i would pass out but my doctor didnt believe me about  years ago he decided i didnt need medication you get the gist im an alcoholic now i decided to text the crisis help line as far as i can tell they only respond to context clues im so sad and disappointed i just wanted help ive sent multiple messages that my contact seems to ignore i just want to encourage everyone to just find a therapist i dont mean to be a downer  im just a drunk depressed person,3.0
6400,i deleted instagram because i found it toxic yet i still come here and whine about my problems for worthless internet points hoping somebody bites and responds the title says it all,3.0
6401,nampar aku banget si tulisan ini karena selalu gedeg sama orang yang nyuruh aku lebih taat untuk ngilangin anxiety,2.0
6402,my  annoying message does anyone care think not  i have take a shower n get ready for work sweet dream super junior o,2.0
6403,there were flies in the rum i have been drinking all day  all day because i am an alcoholic,2.0
6404,hey officialtila can i eat said dress i am hungry   i love tila tequila officialtila live gt ,2.0
6405,planning on going shopping later and get my nails done so i can look my best tomorrow for my  day excited  ,0.0
6406,xojoooo oitnb its a crazy  sad ending  ,2.0
6407,goodmorning i think i want sims ,0.0
6408, hdjdnfjfj im having seperation anxiety miss u already rip,2.0
6409,how can i overcome the retardation of depression i used to be one of the top students in my class i was the smartest person among my friends and peers i used to be productive and selfmotivating i used to be creative and a problem solver i used to be an avid reader im not any of that anymore it seems since ive had depression my intelligence and overall mental ability has been in free fall i feel like im progressively worse i hate this i hate who i am and who im turning into at this point im desperate and dont really know what to do to the people who have experienced that side of depression is there any way out is there any way to regain some of my former mental ability,3.0
6410,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
6411,is wanting to go buy  comic books but cant because of a stupid family thing ,2.0
6412,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
6413,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
6414,i stubbed my toe  it hurtsss,2.0
6415, following  followers gosh i need a life ,2.0
6416,sugarwilla are you enjoying day   wait thats a stupid q  of course you are ,0.0
6417,stephaniepearl everyone has to compete w my phone poor grandma ,2.0
6418,according to eva the constant dull pain in my pinky is arthritis  ,2.0
6419,solicitors advicefind another house ,2.0
6420,dear battrees work plz ,2.0
6421,ag tired sad still hopeful tunadog still reaks late long day   me ,2.0
6422,n pain  idk how im suppose to climb stairs   waiting on my class  start do i can get this day goin,2.0
6423,waynemansfield thanks for the follow ,0.0
6424,i guess im back i learned i still have crippling depression and that i am worth less than a bag of potting soil so thats pretty cool 👍,1.0
6425,my sad life so over the last few months i have lost  jobs its tough making ends meet my bf dumped me my relationship with my family is strained my health is sucking i was diagnosed with diabetes and had a few bad pap tests and now have to see a gyno its like a sad country song luckily no pets have died the last  days especially ive spent most of my hours in bed i already see several doctors i have  separate prescriptions for meds related to anxiety and depression everyone says things will get better things will work out in the end but its really not feeling like it,3.0
6426,rt kindslut i mask all my anxiety with sexual humor and jokes about death,1.0
6427,just watched gossip girl xoxo ,0.0
6428,brettjones did you use long tweezers and make the thawed rodents quotrunquot ,0.0
6429,rt realkurtangle sorry  to hear the passings of nikolai volkoff brian christopher and brickhouse brown a very sad day in the history of,2.0
6430,andyclemmensen ily xoxo thx soo much for saying happy birthday  go on msn,0.0
6431,keithlamb ive had  car crashes  tickets and have yet to take defensive driving  just be a rebel and not take it lol,0.0
6432,lost track of time goin ta bed now  still happy i beat bioshock ,0.0
6433,withdrawling symptoms  prozac tldr american insurance missed my meds for weeks and im withdrawling hi all does anyone have tips on dealing with withdrawls from ssris i had a lapse in insurance and am put of prozav meds for close to  weeks this is week  and the symptoms are driving me well nuts my mood has sunk way low but lightheadedness and dissociation for long enough moments is a bit more concerningyes drinking water is well heeded does anyone have other suggestions that helped them personally thnx ,3.0
6434,me brain are we sad right nowbrain nope roll over and go to sleepme sounds like a good plan for me my bla ,0.0
6435,rehor oh i know unfortunately i understand the current realities as is losses all too well  id rather ignore the nbrs these days ,0.0
6436,i put drake bell on my ipod ,0.0
6437,whoa that tornado was intense  now i have nothing to dogah i miss czech and she only been in florida for like a day ,2.0
6438,jbergler just read a review they said it was a bit hard to deal with esp with sms which would prob be my primary use ,2.0
6439,sos i was deeply struggling with severe depression and because of corna everything i had been working on working towards and daily activities have stopped i am back in the living situation that almost made me commit suicide in middle school and high school because they closed the dorms my home life is not good and i was saving up money at school in order to be able to move out when i graduated in may and was currently not living there because i was in a dorm now that i lost my job no way can i movie out in may and my hopes of getting hired are slim now i am stuck in the house with my abusers and no hope for them to go out anywhere or for me to have anywhere to go even to escape for a few hours i called the suicide prevent hotline and the guy literally just said i am tapped out not seeing a bright side to life right now and would really like some up lifting words i am a class of  college senior who lost the job living space and probably any hope of getting hired any time soon after i graduate on top of all this my boyfriend of  years dumped because of this whole situation,3.0
6440,ilovecpstyle thats isnt the chipper person i am use to seeing on twitter ,2.0
6441,dd is down ,2.0
6442,this time speakers on neighbors listening with me  ,0.0
6443,now im at a doppppe rock show in the les  moshie moshhhh pit  ,0.0
6444,mileycyrus i would too if it meant spending a day in heaven wmy mom and getting to see her again ,2.0
6445,laying on the living room floor because the plug in is close for my phone loli said i refused to be without my phone while i sleep ,0.0
6446,i feel like some of our current ways of life are contributing to depression tldr i feel like the lack of sex romance money combined with rigorous work schedules in polluted environments are some of the many things contributing to depression for some of us humans are not designed for some thingsi cant say any of this is true especially when it comes to people who have everything and yet feel so depressed but for me and a few others the lack of romance and sex the rigorous demand from work life and being trapped in a polluted city with a lack of nature and art is what i feel like depresses the hell out of methere was a girl i used to love but it could never be we shared something and special for a while and i felt more motivated than i had ever been i quit smoking i made plans for my life i exercised consistently and much more but when that inevitably ended i crashed hardi have never felt passion or care for any kind of work either i have my own interests but i dont seem to have the ability to plan and work towards my goals going to an office job with  hours of commute and  hours of work burnt the hell out of me so fasti read about how many cities and settlements in the older world used to have beautiful architectures ive also seen a video about how the dull greyness of cities affects our mood im in a relatively shittier country so its unorganized and trashy in so many placeslast but not least money i have never felt financial security in my life im also terrible with money and im aware of it i have made some terrible choices which have put me in the worst situation of my life my family spent money they didnt have and its affected me tooi dont feel like this is how humans are supposed to live we created this revolutionized and connected world but i feel like some of the daily things we do could be unhealthyend rant,3.0
6447,i recommend ohsotony because he always has something to say it seems ,0.0
6448,sorry for not posting so many updates   been busy,2.0
6449,on my break and i dont wanna go back ,2.0
6450,does anyone else just get really jealous about other peoples lives to keep in mind im not really diagnosed with depression i am however a sufferer of severe ocd and moderate  severe anxiety since i graduated high school i attempted to go to university and was having a good time until i became too ill so i had to withdraw due to the terrible grades i was getting now at  years old i still live with my parents at home working a menial job with low pay and im trying to figure out my future i really dont want to go back to college because i have no interest in education at this point anyways enough of the introduction when browsing social media or just hearing from my friends about how well their doing or how they have girlfriends and everything pretty much i get extremely jealous and frustrated that im missing out on that part of my life i literally have a weekday schedule consisting of going to work coming home sleep repeat then on the weekends i just get shit faced drunk with my friends in our yardswho are all guys i havent met any new girls in months even though im really wanting a girlfriend its a same old routine and yeah i have good friends but its to the point where i feel like my life is not progressing i feel like a little kid still living at home attending high school literally no independence,3.0
6451,    shoe and purse shopping   my fav  ,0.0
6452,i wish i was the kind of depressed that doesnt eat i just eat everything in fucking sight when im down i cant fucking stand being this size im  single and  kilos its fucking over for me i wanted to get married i wanted to have kids now i cant have anything theres no fucking hope left nothing gets better,3.0
6453,i dont wanna go home  ,2.0
6454,i think i want to end it why dont i just end it all nowim  years old i live in a  bedroom house which i share a bedroom w my mom and step dad i have multiple health problems and years of childhood trauma not even dr phill could fix im  in debt and need dental work surgery and im trying to get out of a toxic horrible living environment all w almost no money in my bank acc i cant go anywhere im not allowed to drive not allowed to have a license not allowed to leave w out supervision very toxic environment and so on  my day is wake up change my grandmothers diaper do chores things to pass time feed my grandma take care of her pass time again night falls change her diaper place her in bed i thought about applying to college which of course i have to do in secret because im not smart enough to be anything according to my family i sit in an invisible prison cell no one but me sees and i cant be heard or seen crying for help inside everyday i think about life on the other side how easy things are to end if i just do it but i think about the very small list of people i care about just   people who i know would be hurt and that gives me much drive not to but everyday i hear in my head theyll move on they will be ok i used to self harm constantly for hours at a time that was my way of coping for any pain i felt inside but i promised myself i would stay clean and ive done so since june   its been a long time and at first i thought i really quit this time i wont do it again but lately i catch myself browsing blades on amazon wanting the high the escape all over again i joined subreddits discord servers virtual support groups but overall nothing really helps yeah i can sit and listen to people say it gets better all day they can tell me ways to be happy my head is above water that day and this day but at the end of it all i am still here i am still going to wake up and go to sleep living the cycle im trapped in im still going to suffer not really sure what else i can add here i guess maybe i just wanted to be heard in a crowd full of strangers,3.0
6455,hanishi ah well procrastinate more ,0.0
6456,i seem to have lost my bank statement ,2.0
6457,dmplots hello there stranger welcome to the twitfold ,0.0
6458,dream  im watchin racing and falling asleep food makes me sleepy,0.0
6459,heykimmi our timing in the last days is bullshit x and next week youre in holidays   but i hope to see you soon the weekend,2.0
6460,thisisdavina well weve alot in common married family career stress stress stress follow me   we can swap survival tips ,0.0
6461,recipegirl your r my inspiration  im using a cl recipe amp opted for choc chips instead of raisins ill let u know how that  turns out,0.0
6462,doing online math test  first i didnt even know how to get there,2.0
6463,broo rocket literally lost everything holy sht im sad over the life of a cgi raccoon now,2.0
6464,pizza with my baby theworldandi ,0.0
6465,edward just walked into the canteen ,0.0
6466,richmaninvegas  no he came to his senses but not in time to save our marriage   his new wife is great and im glad its not  holli,2.0
6467,you never know how much you say um until you hear yourself in a message ,2.0
6468,hey my names matt i have awful anxiety crippling depression and daddy issues,2.0
6469,  im only telling the truth you know you have skills,0.0
6470,why cant i stop eating today feel like such a pig yet i still feel hungry ,2.0
6471,quote of the daypeople maybe wont remember what you said or did but they will remember how you made them feel ,0.0
6472,home but still really tired  ,2.0
6473, mmsackgirl nothing new for littlebigplanet at  then ,2.0
6474,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
6475,napping before english i love the drumroom  zzz,0.0
6476,joeslavich   woo thats intense at least its artistic to a point ,0.0
6477,not a fan of thunderstorms  at all going over to see pookahh ,0.0
6478, has a plugin that enables ipod support looks like i wont have to use itunes after all ,0.0
6479,my relationships have failedits my fault title says it all anyone i try forming an intimate relationship with anyone my depression interferes and they end hell cant even continue with a relationship with them going to someone else in the middle theres always someone else im just not good enough and theyre right not looking for a pity party just need to get thoughts of my chest,3.0
6480,i think i am getting sick  tired of all the politics brutality lies hypocrisy i am signing off for now sorry  iranelection neda,2.0
6481,omg this fuckin storm got me up and scared already and its not even the eyeeeee yet ahhhh wish someone was here with me ,2.0
6482,dad is about to leave ,2.0
6483,advice for loved one i recently noticed something i do when my girlfriend has a hard day on a particularly hard day sometimes i watch my girlfriend cry were long distance until december  times a day and when i say cry i mean full on bawling recently i realized that it gets really hard to be there for her without wanting to cry too it hurts to watch her hurt that much when that happens it gets really hard to effectively be there for her does anyone have advice,3.0
6484,my grandfathers death is driving my family crazy my grandfather has always been a caring nice guy he was full of character and life recently he passed away and its driving my family and me nuts he had a rough childhood and had been through a lot in his life he passed away due to kidney failure he is from my dads side and everyone has been broken about it however he had done some pretty bad stuff in his life which no one really cares about even though it is serious and is illegal back to the main point everyone in my family is torn apart and everyone seems to be in a bad mood keep in mind my grandmother from my dads side is bipolar and cant control her mind properly like others its been the first death of a family member i have experienced and i have no idea what to do to cope with the fact that my family isnt the same anymore and my grandfather is gone forever,3.0
6485,aaaaaa bed  finally  then another hellish long day  ,2.0
6486,i cant stop thinking about it for just a second or even a few weeks after i do it just the thought that i affected someones daily life that i made them think that i made them wonder what they could have done or pursued with me why they didnt do more for me the regret i just want to get as far away from myself as possible and at the same time i cant imagine life without my friends i want to leave but i cant even think about leaving i dont see a way out of the box im sealed in man every day is an existential hell and theres nothing i can do about it my life isnt mine to own or control and i keep pursuing control it effects the people around me i need control i need to be in control i need my life to go where i want it to go when i give the word and the mere thought that my life is entirely out of my grasp makes me conclude it was never worth having in the first place im a bastard and i know whats coming to me,3.0
6487,koxpers at apostals   cant exp anywhere damt it,2.0
6488,adamguybrooks lets try that again  ,0.0
6489,is drooling over canon dslrs sigh how i wish i have one ,2.0
6490,i feel like my life is never going to move foward i feel like im out of options now my life has continually been ruined over and over again because i physically stink im out of options i cant get rid of it when i was  i was being sexually abused and was cutting myself and my therapist told me to go to some website and then started preaching to me about hygiene and never reported the abuse when i was  i had a roommate who was so offended that i smelled bad and she didnt want to leave the dorm so she did every mean thing to me to try and get me to leave including spraying fabreeze in my face and later on telling people she was going to beat me up and kill me school did nothing even when i told them i wanted to kill myself i had to move and transfer schools then i got a job and my boss would constantly harass and bully me about it hr did nothing and i quit i just got a new job last week and today i was sat down in the office and was told by two managers people were saying mean things about how i stink i bought every single thing i havent tried from the pharmacy and it was like  dollars ive tried everything if i get fired because of this i know ill never go anywhere in life and im going to kill myself im not supposed to be in this world ive giving up on ever making friends again now i might never be able to keep a job this is it for me or im done,3.0
6491,just discovered my mass effect disk is scratchedi was enjoying that game so much when are we getting games on demand majornelson ,2.0
6492,sarahkatharine we need to hang out some time for story time ,0.0
6493,finnpoitier good morning sunshine  youll have endless power soon and your cord will be happy,0.0
6494,today i ruined my marriage im not the best with my feelings i dont know how to properly express them sometimes i dont even know how to properly feel thembut worst of all i can never talk about themeven if i try my throat literally closes on itself and my brain builds a wall and suddenly all i can think of is completely irrelevant and trivial shiti could be in the middle of a argument and suddenly my brain is singing candy shop on repeat and i cant form an opinion relevant to what is currently being talked about does this happen to anyone elsei hate myself for it i try so hard to stop it but i cant today i figured i could write my so a note to explain my feelings ya know since i cant seem to be a normal functioning adult and just talk about them it back fired he now is probably going to leave mei dont know what i did wrong or what i said wrote wrong i never intended for him to question our marriage or my happiness with himi only meant to show him whats happening inside my head i should have never done thati should have kept it to myself like how i know best i ruined my marriage today i will never forgive myself ,3.0
6495,blinkdesign so im guessing things with you and dan are finalized ,0.0
6496,oh chuck palahniuk you tricked me into a false ending of your book ,2.0
6497,yay eurovision time and ive managed to stay spoilerfree this year ,0.0
6498, i most certainly can ,0.0
6499,cleaning my room ,2.0
6500,why im cryying this is a throwaway account because i dont feel comfortable with people that i know reading about this my english is very bad too so sorry im male  and i think i dont felt genuine happiness in my life since my  maybe an exageration  months ago i start to take an antidepressive that my doctor recommended and oh god for the first time in my life i felt like i was a normal person i wasnt going crazy about some friend not talking with me anymore or having a breaking down about the smallest things i was okay then this monday my meds ended and i had to wait  days to get another one and it this  days everything had gone to shit i know this girl for a long long time we go back  since school  we never had nothing but i let clear to her how i felt about her she refuses it saying that because i dated one of her friends years ago she doesnt feel comfortable with ours having a relation until here okay the problem is she keeps throw signals and flags all around sometimes she tell we will not have kids and live alone  together sometimes she doesnt even want to talk with me and i spent years trying to understand what she really wants this last moths she was especially caring and for the first time we got into a level on intimancy we never had in all this years for me it signed she was finally ok to give us a try but then yesterday out of the blue she just confessed to me that she had sexual relations with some random guys and ask me to not get angry with her i died in the spot and i could not take it of my head the entire night and the day i was so angry but not with her with me to get on this point i feel like see doesnt even see me as a man and i wasting so much time with her i keep putting my hopes on her just so it get destroyed over and over and over i dont want to talk with her anymore but pathetic as i am she is the only person i have left and this is the worst sensation in the world for  months i had no sad thoughts no stupids desires to end it all but after tonight it seems all piled on me and i just exploded i am sick with the flu i have to take care of a father suffering of dementiaadoptive take care of a house and i never saw my mother once in my life life feels so unfair i feel stuck and trapped in the same place and i cant do shit to change it its feels like im always losing that i just should let the darkness take me away so i would not feel this miserable all the time ims sorry to spill all this things here but i have no one to hear me,3.0
6501,   what song is this i hate being poor i wish i was there  lol,2.0
6502,daagreb yah it  ringed  but its still under warranty so im not to worriedexcept for all my saved games,2.0
6503,apparently everything looks better in the morning after you slept through the worst well no  i just woke up feeling so suicidal i have never before i had a dream i was a little chubby girl dying in a clinic at a chemical works they wouldnt let my mum go and see me and she begun singing this weird song i woke up its really nice and sunny outside but i feel so strange i cant keep this up anymore i feel like i want to kill myself im scared and feel like crying even my body feels uncomfortable i dont know what to do i have to be at uni in  hours god i dont know what to do i feel so alone ,3.0
6504,oh great now i have work till  im going to miss  ,2.0
6505,brilorene still sound wack lol ,0.0
6506,last night i dreamed of my father hes been gone so long yet i still miss him so much ,2.0
6507,heyyenaa ugh i totally forgot about those ,2.0
6508, i have been trying lol but i think it might be passed the  month mark anyways ill just wait i guess  u dun have to tho,2.0
6509,muchmusic i wanna be at the mmvas on sunday because i never did end up seeing kelly clarkson live after she cancelled her june  show ,2.0
6510,its soo nice out and it just figures im working the worst shift possible ,2.0
6511,is gonna get some dvds and drink tons of red wine tonightprob alone  alas my sats are not too fun in the chi,2.0
6512,oh damn im someones wcw httpstcownyxsbzbin,2.0
6513,i really really hate being late ,2.0
6514,needs to go and buy a spring coat ,2.0
6515,thechaser just to let you know ive been trying to add you on myspace but nothing yet so far ,2.0
6516,is finally back at these books after a whole wknd of nada ,0.0
6517,everything just kind of sucks so im not sure if this is the right place to post this but everything that i used to find interesting or would think is fun just no longer is i have lost interest in just about everything i do or think about doing im not on any sort of meds and have not been officially diagnosed with any mental illnesses  but i was hoping the beautiful people of reddit could maybe help me figure out what is up and see if you guys had any suggestions on what i could do to get over this as my family and friends have been no help thanks for your time and any insight you might give,3.0
6518,how come everyone is going to sleep and im still stuck here no fair ,2.0
6519,rt stmolloy some powerful words from wilw about living with and doing something about mentalillnessmy name is wil wheaton i live,0.0
6520,why it sucks to be moving at the beginning of summer as opposed to the end of itmissing awesome bands like princetonmusic  ,2.0
6521,i lost the only person who made me feel i dont know what to do every inch of me hurts all i can think about is ending it i was never happy before her and now that were done im never happy again,3.0
6522,rt  this is so sad and heartbreaking i hope hes surrounded with love right now my baby ,1.0
6523,duketerrell why dont u make a freestyle video of u dancin next time u are bored  u are a good dancer,0.0
6524,moochiebabii anytime ,0.0
6525,needs to focus ,0.0
6526,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
6527, i was sleeping all dayim sick ,2.0
6528,peoples experiences with zoloft helloive been on wellbutrin xl for a few weeksits made my anxiety and depression worseso ive been prescribed zolofti am so nervous of taking it thowas just wondering other peoples experiences with itthanks,3.0
6529,sicky sicky  sucks on such a lovely day,2.0
6530,i did see cheerleaders and the england loss to netherlands is their just desserts for allowing such a desecration of the sacred place ,0.0
6531,saving up and putting money toward a macbook for my  bday ,0.0
6532,i found my lost favorite earring ,0.0
6533,social anxiety and depression  m anyone else have this terrific combo ive had social anxiety for close to  years and it is only getting worse but the thing is i know why its getting worse yet im doing nothing to try to fight back ive contacted my insurance and a mental health institution to get on the right path but im breaking down over actually having to go i skip out on so many social activities am too scared to go to therapy cant even let my family know how bad it really is i told them but they dont know the severity of it the list goes on ive never gone to an interview never had a girlfriend only have  friend but hes my cousin can barely speak a sentence before becoming bright red and being forced to swallow my self esteem is non existent ive only been able to make it this far because ive avoided all of my triggers but i know ill have to face them soon this has made my depression one hundred times worse and i dont know how much more i can take i try my best to exercise regularly eat healthy and maintain good self care but my mental health is still shot the anxiety has gotten to the point where its running my life i just want to live without feeling like im not in control of my own bodyi just need to take that first step and become vulnerable i know i do but i dont know if i can do it im so fucking terrified,3.0
6534,im so happy about meeting a friend in an hour ,0.0
6535,runleah no hooters they closed at  we arrived at   so we made a steak n shake run fresco melts are delish,2.0
6536,awake very early for a saturday i just couldnt get back to sleep so adding myspace friends for a while i do love my job ,0.0
6537,jonathanrknight sings please dont go new kidsyou wll ruin my whole worldtell me  youll  stay and never ever go away ,0.0
6538,parkrat now theres a tweetup for someone who is not me by hi standards anyway ,0.0
6539,having a relaxing bath ,0.0
6540,up was sooo cute i cried ,0.0
6541,jnbeck just followed rjowen one more to go ,0.0
6542,💐 whenever my depression was really bad i used to vent to my dog about my problems but she doesnt sleep w me anymore bc she likes to stay ,2.0
6543,looks like the guys at codemasters had the same idea had to wait an extra  min thanks to their  pizzas ,0.0
6544,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
6545,i will be soooo glad when we have a break in soccer but if kiddo doesnt make the team we will have a permanent break ,2.0
6546,managed to kick the writers block and stress of school  i make a comic everyday jeez,0.0
6547,gotta do some work now ,2.0
6548,chrisabernathy nooooid have to panhandle or sell roses on freeway offramps if i did things that way ,0.0
6549,fancylettuce dont those people know how many babies fall out of windows to their death in movies in situations ex ,2.0
6550,its a pic of how close we are to stage a gavin rossdale concert ,0.0
6551,i think i might be a depressed person i know its a deep word but i dont find any other word to describe my situationim  and i noticed a couple of weeks ago that i dont feel satisfied with anything i always complain about somethingfor examplei struggled to get into a relationship with somenone and then when im bound to i dont want it anymoreat first thought that i was an ambicious person but then the attacks cameit always have a triggersomething bad happens the day i have these kind of attacks but the problem itself it isnt a big dealafter getting triggered i have all bad and sad thoughts on my mind like a room that gets smaller and smaller and it feels like something i cant get out ofthen i started to think that these might be a big deali dont want to say that i do it on purpose because i like to feel sane but all that comes to mind in those attacks are things that really hurtanywayit isnt so seriousi know most of you are having worse issues and i hope that you can solve them and feel betterjust wanted to share how i feelthanks,3.0
6552,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
6553,mood  concerned ,2.0
6554,thanks for the coffee break bing   ,0.0
6555,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
6556,houses r toooooo expensive in blore  no wonder its a dream for many  that includes me ,2.0
6557,robschendel i can never find a red box to rent from ,2.0
6558,danielradcliffe sunday and mothers day ,0.0
6559,work all day bed then up for work again ,2.0
6560,i cant i cant keep going every day i feel more and more numb to everyone even the people i care for i feel lost i feel miserable i honestly cant stop thinking about just ending it all but im too much of a coward idk what to do,3.0
6561,just bought some cool treggings ,0.0
6562,ddlovato i made a video for your little sister please check it out  its against the haters she is beautiful ,0.0
6563,michelleeeeyyyy i havent talked to you all dayyyyyy  i hope youre on when i get home beautiful girllll ,2.0
6564,tired failing technology    cant wait til june  ,0.0
6565,gonna take a long lunch nap like theres no tomorrow amp the day after tomorrow except ive got to wake up   for work ,2.0
6566, its been a crappy day ,2.0
6567,fair play to subo she was excellent last night i have to say i still really like shaheen jafargholi  and shaun smith give up rugby,2.0
6568,maliajonas guess which jonas song ,0.0
6569,girls i havent had any love in my heart for over a year my heart was broken from a friendship with a girl long story short i loved her but it wasnt reciprocated she did nothing wrong i was just stupid later on i got in a relationship with another girl but i didnt experience love with her but i did experience tremendous frustration and my emotions did close up morei wish i could feel something towards girls but emotionally speaking im so torn up inside and ive been this way for so long i dont think ill ever be happy with anyone elsei never really cared before i always considered myself a lone wolf but im so messed up due to unrelated mental problems i wish i could hold someone or be held id like the safety and security that a relationship provides but i feel nothing towards anyone just angerit makes me sad ive relapsed in findom financial domination fetish and i suppose i sought something in doing sexual things online ive been losing my money and feel a ton of regret when i get ripped off consentually when i get a grasp on reality and what im doing i havent been able to get a grasp on myself and my spiral in darkness its been real rough because all my mental problems leads me to find comfort in someone else like in a relationship being a dom and sub rather than seeking anything from friends because they are friends and nothing more my lifes being ruined more and more day by day and doing things to provide comfort or an escape such as findom escelates my issues and i feel even worsei hate my life and i have a hatred towards everyone,3.0
6570,wheres  i miss him  he needs  go live,2.0
6571,ugh i have saturday detention  not even my fault,2.0
6572, im broke too ,2.0
6573,hey lostzombiescheck out what mindykaling just posted ,0.0
6574,you feel like your entire life can hang on one conversation one choice  bmml nails that tangible anxiety better t ,0.0
6575,sammieepaige ummyes  im very happy at the moment wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,0.0
6576,ok still trying to get a free game out of gog ,0.0
6577,monkey stereotyping   ,2.0
6578,chillen again today i been in chill mode all week ,0.0
6579,ohh dearno more matches to watchgives me hearteche  ,2.0
6580,levileipheimer good luck go levi ,0.0
6581,marymartin i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
6582,s workday is complete woohoo time to go to the gym and workout oh and what a beautiful day too ,0.0
6583,rt  aldubdeeperdont be sad because its over smile because it happened,2.0
6584,another sunny day thank you mother nature ,0.0
6585,blowhornoz i will ask my friends maybe i can borrow the gamei think thats better ,0.0
6586,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
6587,florawmm best of luck to all the women todayplenty of sunscreen and water woo hoo ,0.0
6588,friday biked  miles in  minutes wwwlogyourruncom tried out another bit of the trans pennine got lost again ,2.0
6589,work  then city with ayeelleellewhy ,0.0
6590,waiting for lmnhny to come over and do laundry  and i guess i have thaw out some food for my bunbun for lunch  hes spoiled,0.0
6591,rt viewfrome liberals like goodalle lie so they dont lose votes plain and simple this is the reason they lie they want to keep thei,1.0
6592,i wrote a thing i can feel it like a malignancy bearing down on mepressing on my chest and making it hard to breathfilling me up with darkness so my eyes cant seedowning in the urgency of escapewith no where to go and no place to be,3.0
6593,its a sad day my mom washed my favorite scarf and it got ruined ,2.0
6594,samwebster im not smart but im a book wormi want to live in america and have  kids  and get married,0.0
6595,want to go out tonight these are one of those days where i wish i was old enough to drive ,2.0
6596, lol welcome  hows u ,0.0
6597,i have no out of school friends i have no trouble fitting in at school nobody dislikes me and im friends with a lot of people at school the problem is none of them want to do anything with me out of school all my closest friends at school make plans in front of me but never invite me and they all have a group chat without me they constantly organise things without me but in school they are always really nice to me and hang out with mei dont know what to do because this has been going on for over a year now and im getting really sick of it ,3.0
6598,havvnt been on  a while  in english stupid teacher  save me,2.0
6599,yooriyoori robotgoboom my siblings and cousin just left after a week of visiting its too quiet now and i miss them so much ,2.0
6600,maademenent neat sounds good ,0.0
6601,brendanwenzel awesome thank you very much good to meet you too ,0.0
6602,tummy hurts ,2.0
6603,umso mehr ich zu etwas gedrängt werdedesto schlimmer wird mein zustanddementsprechend schlecht geht es mir dannnotjustsad depression,2.0
6604,missnixs i know right hes a serial monogamist  did i mention i left home at a young age lol ,0.0
6605,loving the bebo homepage at the moment ,0.0
6606,i have to call the us shortly from my mobile its going to cost be a bomb ,2.0
6607,fashiondeliciouscom lulus fashion diary soooo totally venice   httptinyurlcomoxysbs,0.0
6608,hiimchris in the other room on my work laptop  fb chat might work,2.0
6609,pulled out the breakfast sausage for mothers day hopefully the baby sleeps in ,0.0
6610,grumpywookie i guess the  limit is good for more than just characters ,0.0
6611,longs pharmacy still having difficulties dropped presc off at  for  pup went back at  and still had to wait almost an hour ,2.0
6612,quotyou belong with me quot im loving it ,0.0
6613,dottiebobottie  im so sorry losing the last grandparent is a tough oneis she back east will you be able to visit her,2.0
6614,how to accept the pain my psychologist says that i need to work on accepting the pain and anxiety i feel but i dont feel like it is working she also says that theres nothing that can be done to make it go away and thats why learning to deal with the emotions is the only way to get back to a purposeful lifeshe has given me some exercises that i do trying to work with accepting being depressed and the minutes it takes to do them i sort of feel better but as soon as its over its like being hit with a sledgehammer when everything rushes back inmy life is crumbling around me and i cant even pick myself up to do the simplest of things because i just feel crushed under the weight of these emotions and the pain the only reason that im still here is the support of my wife and that i dont want to leave my kidsso if you have any advice tricks exercisesor something else that can help with this crushing feeling and with coping i would be grateful if you would share them thank you,3.0
6615,nikkers yeah thats why im still not home ,2.0
6616,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
6617,the new version of see u in the dark is the bestt  i love honorsociety,0.0
6618,gregverdino i cant believe you tweeted that it was our special moment ,2.0
6619,rt dedicatedbands im in europe drinking  cent beer outside a grocery store smoking cigarettes and pretending im not sad,2.0
6620,curiosity rant and discussion on life so straight up i dont know if this belongs here so bear with me probably should jump to tldr firstso basic back story im a piece of shit by societys standards typical situation leeching off of parents neet blah blah blah not like youre interested point is i am curious as to why you folk live dont get the wrong idea i dont hate you guysi am not interested in living this does not mean i have any desire to blow my brains out so dont get ahead of ourselves kaya huge core of living is being alive does that mean the sheer fact that as a human who is mortal life is meaninglessi am not religious not atheist either so for now death  nothingi dont enjoy people a self description is probably highly cynical highly pessimistic borderline sociopathic misanthropei dont work because of  main reasons i hate being around people and i dont want to get stuck in that lifestylewhat do i have to look forwards to in life a life of routine doing some shit tier job i hate being around people i dont care about only to die of old age or disease it all seems worthless to me you go on vacation so what how is that different from drugs a downerupper to help you forget about a shitty boring life not even fiction helps anymore everything i see is simply boring i dont like people because theyre boring i dont like life because its boring everything is simply boringnow ive been called crazy before but personally i think normal people are crazy to live a boring cycle of boringness only to die a boring death i honestly would prefer anarchy over this boring life of society most people live at least anarchy woupd be interestingis a temporary happiness all there is to living am i supposed to just turn off my brain and simply exist and inevitably expire i do not enjoy what most people consider a raison detre being with people having grandchildren being rich etc it is incredibly childish but what i desire is very fictional an adventure life and death monsters great stories the kind of life a stereotypical nerd thinks of whether that life be star wars star trek lord of the rings dungeons and dragon whatever fiction is more interesting than life its why its therei understand that i am in the minority that i am just another piece of shit that need to grow up into a proper adult which means im in the wrong but i simply cannot understand why people live is it because that there is no other way that the only thing we can do is simply exist and make up for the boredom of life with temporary highs via travelling drugs fiction etci feel as though my only choice in life is to force myself to become one of the masses and be a proper citizen that contributes to society blow my own brains out or something similiar figurativly or not or straight up disappear and go off the grid away from all human life or most of ittldr im bored probably should read this firstim a societal piece of shit scum youd find anywhere that doesnt get along with the norm of everyday society and life that is so incredibly boreduninterested of lifeso i am genuinely curious as to what your thoughts on life is why you live why you continue to exist as a person who basically has no aspirations in life whatsoever i am curious why you or the normies keep living what your hopes on the future is etcplease be respectful of other peoples comments no haters wanted here just casual sleepover talk,3.0
6621,help me pay my bills  visit this   looking to increase my portfolio let me know if you have a pic you want drawn,0.0
6622,why wont he talk to me ,2.0
6623,having a pb and j watching resident evil with tolvinle  its about damn time,0.0
6624,socalvixen shes on drugs lol we need her music back thoo ,2.0
6625,myraderobles no worries like i said tomorrow will be party time ,0.0
6626,urgh its     i have  more hr   ihop httplooptusdlujhwt,2.0
6627,the paws outside the new building are calling my name  i hear you beethoven but you exceed the  lb limit ,2.0
6628,is not allowed back to work yet haha fine  more time for more exciting stuff,0.0
6629,alexalltimelow what a bummer cant wait to see it ,0.0
6630,i feel like shit ,2.0
6631,why is it raining ,2.0
6632,rt  thought i had seasonal depression but nope this bitch is all year round,2.0
6633,karlajonasx im alright just really bored  i wanna go shopping today wanna come  hahaha lol  i wish ,2.0
6634,i just shaved so i guess its back to getting carded when i buy bullets or beerjust like everyone else my age sad ,2.0
6635,eating fried rice and laughing at elaines dum dum joke ,0.0
6636,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
6637,im awake and its a gorgeous evening out and everyones asleep this sucks ,2.0
6638,back to work ,0.0
6639,chadxhatred mee too ,2.0
6640,just changed the background on my twitter page  having trouble w the sidebar color   so happy to be back to working on my book proposal,2.0
6641,just finished watching valkyrie it was a very intense movie even though i knew the ending ,0.0
6642,is sad because of the death of karine ruby ,2.0
6643,i know zach mullis    in the biblical way ,0.0
6644,its time to work so can buy nice things in july ,0.0
6645,i need to stop playing with my extensions and do some work hahaa ,2.0
6646,geoffkeighley ghostbusters yet another game im looking forward to keep up the good work ,0.0
6647,how to address aging illness amp mental health in our congregations  httpstcobqehzkbcsn,2.0
6648,going to the city maybe to the intrepid  lets see how it goes ,0.0
6649,thomasgudgeon awww so much revision ,2.0
6650,nothing like waking up still sick  with a cranky toddler,2.0
6651,missmary  hope she is ok,2.0
6652, i have a theory that people with anxiety make great tos because were all paranoid,1.0
6653,its weekend again i am having an office job where i didnt even pass my first month and i already hate it the problem is that there is nothing to hate really i do almost nothing basically weekend comes and i do nothing again i have no friends only my bf whos not as done as me though but still not the most enjoyable company dont even think i can enjoy someones company or more like i am afraid i will and to lazy to even get there i was supposed to go out with this girl ive been talking to but i have just been through a crisis and i feel like utter shit i do not feel like leaving my home so late on my home i lack the energy and i also feel like the night out will be underwhelming my bf is too tired to attend me and it is basically been like this for more than one year this monotony is killing me people who ve got a job usually look towards the weekend because they do stuff and have fun but i do nothing and feel like shit when i try to go out i get angry with a thing or another if i stay in i feel like going out or doing something i cannot work in an office i cannot stand staying anymore in front of a screen nor in an office surrounded by people always feeling like i gotta be cautious and you know just feeling restrained and not being able to be yourself this thing is killing me,3.0
6654,my son is sick looks like a doctors visit tommara  hope he gets well fast and hope my baby girl dont get sick to,2.0
6655,rt  depression is depressing,2.0
6656,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
6657,tired from my looong jog today might go for a nice bath ,0.0
6658,jamiology  hahahah well thanks jamie and greggarbo i hope i get better too,2.0
6659,starving i have been more and more depressed everyday  in the last few weeks i have stopped taking showers stopped eating i did not eat anything for  days now i think  i ate fries before that and thats the last thing i remember eating i am tired,3.0
6660,spy and sniper update released yay   via pauke,0.0
6661,i mean ive seen people celebrating a scene where wiccan says how he was so corageous for having anxiety from new avengers i think,2.0
6662,juliathompson hey julia just sent you an email  hope to hear back from you soon ,0.0
6663,nlshoes well i guess not i will definitely have to make my way there  ,0.0
6664,busy morning all round looks like ill have to visit maidenhead town centre for my lunch as sandwich people have stopped coming ,2.0
6665,peppito we need el pollo loco too   well create the petitions need el pollo loco franchises here and a nude beach at lincoln beach ,0.0
6666,comparing myself to others i cant help it it just gets to me sometimes and ive always dealt with other people shutting me down for not being prettier smarter more talented etc and ive started doing it to myself the worst thing i probably do to myself is compare myself to my boyfriends ex  who is naturally beautiful and skinny and an all around lovely person it makes me feel so back burner unworthy disgusting i used to love doing my makeup for fun all the time but its gotten to the point where i hardly ever put on makeup do anything with my hair or look at myself in the mirror anymore because i cant really stand to look at my face does anyone else deal with this problem and has anyone gotten over it,3.0
6667,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
6668,hmm watching a scary moive with my dad  ,0.0
6669,im done with this shit im fucking cursed whoever created me is a fucking cum stain who i wanna torture the absolute fuck out of i never asked to be here and they punish me by giving me the worst brain and body possible my brain was crafted to be as stubborn as possible to keep me alive and to continue the torture that was always meant for me im fucking sick of society and the fucking life structure everyone goes through i dont want this anymore if i die i win they cant keep me any longer this is a fucking joke i literally laugh at how shit my life is i love having incurable genetic problems that have plagued me and caused me a miserable existence i cant end this they dont want me to im fucked up but when it comes to death im just not courageous to go over the life and fix my life forever neck snapped no more fucking suffering no fucking way this is still going on but it is im on a fucking tv show and everyone is laughing at me going on here and reading everyones stories and their perspective on suicide makes me so angry i just dont relate with anyone and im meant to be a loner im sorry i feel this way but im an alien in a humans body nothing ducking helps i have too many inhibitions and my brain is competent enough to feel happiness or accomplish anything meaningful that leads to progression and rewards they want me to live to  somehow not going insane from the shitty circumstances that ive dealt with all my life no more suffering i want someone to kill me i got a learners permit so i genuinely have a chance of burning in my cars remnants after realising i dont give two fucks im done with other people they make me sick and have done nothing but make me not wanna go on fuck my parents i dont give a fuck about what they feel when i die i dont have empathy anymore ive had enough of this,3.0
6670,just got home from school need to finish retail group assignment ,2.0
6671,in love with life when one door closes another one opens ,0.0
6672,right now im feeling blank but then when im not they all talk over me if its them or me im not sure im kinda im so scattered and its probably because i havent taken my meds in two days i did today though i havent been sleeping on time yesterday it was  that i slept the day before that  am i think just cant sleep am i anxious to sleep or maybe im just a lazy fuck ahahahah with no life no no no nothing im kinda my brain is melty like you know how it gets like that sometimes dont look at me like that im not trying to be funny and welltalk so people can understand youyoure just being funny no i swear im trying my best to be clear ok so for the those of you that have followeddo you have them cant just be methe people in your brain that sometimes are set freewhen youre lost or at a lossor when apathy takes holdthe people in your brain always know what to dothe people in the brain want to kill yousometimes theyre nicesometimes they dont carethey see you talking but they dont feel it there insidewhen friends laugh or cryam i even am i even aliveok thats enoughyou know they like to rhyme i named a few of them but i know theres the angry one hes usually there and then the sarcastic one and the crybaby and the one on cloud  i dont hate it sometimes its tiring to be normal i do hate it when it gets too much how did i even use to function off meds i havent done anything why am i at school how do i even care of course i care then try harder im sorry no im not i dont need to be sorry to anyone except when i do the boogey brain man hes coming for you dont pick and flick your boogers thats disgusting fuck just do it its tomorrow alice   yelobiin has no power over me how could he when even i dont that makes sense eheheheh stop smiling and get to work you can do it i believe in you youre great i mean it i know you dont i mean thanks i love you she said she loves me too she means it i just they think im ramblingi am rambling sorryim not sorry dont get madwell i dont care even if you doim just i wanted to talktalking is the way to goits been a while since ive done this with everyonewell im off good night bye,3.0
6673,plans with kelsey later ,0.0
6674,feeling really crabby today  my arm hurts really bad from bowling how sad,2.0
6675,treagus i want sun and a book ,2.0
6676,hmmmmy son took the cap on and off my usb memory key earlier and bent it a bit i snapped back together but now it doesnt work ,2.0
6677,sarahstanley ps didnt really care for the auto response from boxbe but i guess u get lots of spam u should dm ur email then ,0.0
6678,the anxiety is real right now 😐,0.0
6679,what would happen if i tell my teacher of my problems titlei dont want my parents to know i dont want them to worry dont try to convince me to tell them please,3.0
6680,rt cnni driving to work has been shown to increase levels of stress anxiety depression back pain and blood pressure httpstcosvldf,1.0
6681,exhausted and sunburned for the third weekend in a row ,2.0
6682,youre a very negative person sorry its the lifelong abuse and trauma not everyone has it so easy that theyre dismissive to be people with legitimate mental health issues seriously fuck these people you get back what you in yeah sure just be positive thats all there is to it fuck off,3.0
6683,metaprinter got no problem with webfaction but i�ve been wdreamhost for a long time and i like their socialistgreen attitudes ,0.0
6684,what i am too working cant you see me dusting the computer here oh dear i seem to have pressed the keyboard silly me ,0.0
6685,dannywood we are so glad you are on twitter it was a struggle getting you here we feel more connected to you guys this way ,0.0
6686,i love will forever and always ,0.0
6687,im really depressed im going through a divorce and back at my moms house my sleep schedule is messed up and i am just miserable with life im  my dads at risk for heart attack mom is alcoholic i am not around any friends im somewhere im not really familiar with i met this guy on accident and we are together hes a good guy and does everything he can to help relieve me but i never feel relief i always feel stressed i applied for college and then the corona crap came out so im stuck home and im really just feeling heavy my mom bitched about my sleeping pattern and she knows i struggle with depression idk it feels like nobody understands me at all my boyfriend tries but im a mess my marriage was toxic i was emotionally and sexually abused i married a narcissist i feel broken and like life is pointless i just wish somebody understood the onlyperson who asks how im doing is my boyfriend my family just makes me feel bad my mom claims to clean and stuff everyday shes a stay at home mom she doesnt ever really clean and she barely functions she stays up all night all the time but gets mad at me for it i feel ashamed and tbh i havent been taking care of myself havent showered everyday like i should havent ate like i should i dont even look in the mirror i just wish i didnt feel so alone my boyfriend tries to comfort me but i neever accept it and it sometimes makes me feel overwhelmed and claustrophobic he feels like i dont want him bc of how depressed i am and i tell him i do but i am such a mess i feel like im not good enough i have told him all of this btw,3.0
6688,epicjc thanx mister ,0.0
6689,huwstephens awesome thanks huw  loving the album all sounds fr fr fresh,0.0
6690,sylviawho im sick too ,2.0
6691,ltinsert shitty titlegt so writing this is probably one of the hardest things i have ever done but i am sure once i start itll all flow out in an incoherent manner so here goes nothingso a few days ago i asked a girl to prom now i am crazy about her i dont know why i just dont get it and she rejected me she was already going with someone else and they were kinda already dating no heads up of course no big deal i guess i am not much of a dancer and i cant imagine myself wearing a tux she kept asking if i was going to prom who i was going with she kept telling me that i made her laugh and all that i thought she wanted me to ask her im a fucking idiottoday i missed school because i am sick again no biggie on her snapchat story it shows her sitting next to her boyfriend with that hearts filter in the video and for some reason i just lost it i finally managed to actually get up after about an hour and a half of laying in bed and being a bitch about it alli had been thinking about how i got rejected and it was sad and all but i didnt make a big deal out of it and i guess seeing that set me off idkit all really started going down hill when she wanted to switch her fourth class i convinced her to join the class i was in thinking maybe i could talk to her more she switches in immediately becomes infatuated with her new friendi caused my own rejection typical of mecant really blame her for not being interested in me were good friends and we talk all the time but i guess she was interested in just being friends and i guess i got too optimistic i dont drive my parents basically decided i wasnt to learn how to until like a month ago way too lateive never been good with girls just havent throw enough shit at the wall and some of it is bound to sticki like to think i am a decent person i play by the rules i dont drink i dont smoke anymore i only did it like a few times i get good grades and the occasional bad one i tend to stay by myself because i just dont like other people so why the fuck does the bad shit always happen to meit all just seems to bt hitting me at once that i am just a textbook loser i cant get a girlfriend i dont drive i dont work im not that intelligent and my future is as bright as a dusty lampshade i cant blame her for not wanting to be with me im just a piece of shiti got like  weeks of school left the rational side of me just says to finish it out but now everyday is a massive struggle since her degenerate of a boyfriend is not even a foot away from where i sit i spend the entire class resisting the urge to knock his ass out i cant stand the rest of my classes either the only reason i came to school was for my lunch period and my fourth class which she is in and now thats just being hijacked from me i would honestly beat the everloving shit out of it him if i didnt know it would piss her offi guess it just seems like anything that could go wrong is going wrong and i just dont see a way out i dont have the willpower to keep going on but i dont have the strength to end it for me i keep telling myself just to move on and all that but she is just an integral part of my life at this point ive probably dreamt up a thousand scenarios that i could end it not one has seemed easy enough for methe whole itll get better i promise is nice and all but i dont want that it doesnt give me a clear path out of my issues i dont want comforting words i want a path out because at this rate i wont make it and i just feel like a waste of air space biomass and resources i dont want to die but i dont want to keep feeling like this even morei just want to know how to move forward am i just being a massive bitch about all of this,3.0
6692,adamjackson with mcdonalds promoting the mccafe similar to starbucks we may soon see mcsmoothies like jamba juice next ,0.0
6693,night of the cookers with my dad ,0.0
6694, my dogs are the best medication for my anxiety amp depression,1.0
6695,exercise how do you stay motivated to exercise i really want to lose weight but its so hard to care at some points anything that helps is welcomed,3.0
6696,you should excavate a hole in the middle and use the depression to scoop vegetables and soup then eat it😋🤣,2.0
6697,bicted you are right  rang you but you didnt answer ,2.0
6698,so damn tired im tired of everything my shitty job where im the butt of everyones joke my constant worries my possibly unrequited criush my boyfriend who is  kind of loser my babies are the only thing that keeps me breathing other than that id not be herebarely hanging tf on ,3.0
6699,i get irritated very easily how can i stop being a snowflake i dont know why but im getting so easily susceptible to irritation i feel frightened of going outside and interacting with people for every time someone treats me badly or rudely i will feel so sad and down and annoyed for such an extended period of time i also feel frightened of reading news online for i will feel so down when i read any bad news im now such a snowflake having a fragile and vulnerable heart it seems the only way to prevent me being hurt is to completely isolate myself from the outside world i really hate my personality and want to get rid of that,3.0
6700,i dont want to keep going i always want to cry im on my way to work i want to stop go back and fucking quit i am here sitting in my living room writing this with my dad on the computer and my boyfriend talking to his mother on the phone and here i still silently crying this week my mother went to our doctor with my brother and i asked her to get me some sleeping pills cause im barely sleeping because of my job and like after four days of them not working i go to see the recipe of the pills and there says that it is for anxiety i confronted her with this and she says that she didnt know i asked my brother and he says that she asked for anxiety pill i fucking hate my mother now she doesnt know what is best for me if she knew the truth oh god if she new i dont know what she would do if she knew that i am constantly wanting to kill myself to hurt myself to disapear to everything i wanna dieand i think it doesnt matter anymorecause i will die soon i just know it,3.0
6701,this iran situation has ruined my whole week  keep fighting,2.0
6702,iamdidy and officialtila thank you im a single mom and i love my daughter more than anything so diddy im locked in on being a mom ,0.0
6703, female here can someone please tell me how at  im laying here in bed curled up in a ball with my heart aching so bad im about to claw it from my chest can someone tell me why im feeling so lonely and why all i want is love can anyone take this feeling away its  am i want to sleep i want to be able to breathe i want to be happy ,3.0
6704,ok so have a i have nothing to do day planed so pumped missin my boys tho  wish they could stay home forever but that life bday n ,2.0
6705,like the shelf i made it   ,0.0
6706,living stress free,1.0
6707, junee is going to amazingggg  for manyy manyy reasoons ,0.0
6708,what are some ways your family has been for you that helped significantly im asking out of a desperateness to be there for my baby brother he is going to school less and less from his depression and i would do anything to make him recover even just a little im alone in most of my life but my brother is a fucking trooper and i want to be there for him more than what ive been doing already i really need some help anything please,3.0
6709,trying to knock together a coredata app i have loads of ideas but not enough ability to write them straight off ,2.0
6710, year old male so i feel like i have a huge mental block as a result of my dad leaving me when i was  it affects my relationships to this day i usually date with the intent to marry but whenever i start dating or talking to a new girl i start to overthink and hope i dont end up like him i just feel alone i use drugs booze and sex to fill some kind of whole in my life but nothing works,3.0
6711,spacehotel been listening to that album alot recentlyand little kix ,0.0
6712,my phone broke  i hate touch screen phones,2.0
6713,rt mattnelson you can measure depression by how long washed and folded clothes stay on the end of your bed and not put away,2.0
6714,  why so,2.0
6715,thanks to everyone who came to my  last night i had a great time and i love you all  xxx,0.0
6716,rt dejagonzales all my besties are about to leave and im about to be so sad and bored,2.0
6717,johnirvine thanks for the honor ,0.0
6718,fauxfaun bugs they will never learn to not head into the quotwhitequot light ,0.0
6719,woohoo just signed up for the gymm im actually excited to start working out again ,0.0
6720,why does pinkberry decide to introduce a passionfruit flavor after ive left la so not fair  httpbitlyhhkvh,2.0
6721,my two kittens that i was supposed to pick up this weekend have died  virus apparently,2.0
6722,princeofqueensu aint a princenot of meim my own queena male with class of an empty glass cant take on a title o httpstconyvtcirtui,2.0
6723,aegies since chuf money is a bad iphone owner yes you can play your music in the bg of peggle but popcap did not include peggle music ,2.0
6724,kimsherrell well it ties to hoffspace but lets ask ,0.0
6725,treemama that is so true my son was all quotwill it be like that next time you go votequot he was scared for me ,2.0
6726,redcoffee 정� 불신�� 시대 ㅠㅜ 최소한 사람�� 믿고 살고 싶습니다 ,2.0
6727,jordanknight damn im starting to think this biknightual girl shouldve entered the contest but alas i have final exams next week ,2.0
6728,woke up early and went to work and i wasnt even on the schedule so im headed baaack to sleep  today is going to be a good day,0.0
6729,headache ,2.0
6730,i think i broked itunes whenever i try to play something it crashes ,2.0
6731,ive been sitting on a bus for  minutes waiting for it to go cranky my whole body hurts and i work again in  hours ,2.0
6732,morning feelin awesome today ,0.0
6733,so sad that everyone but familywell even my daughter has backed out of tonight  ,2.0
6734,rt madlams depression took my niece this afternoon i am so broken by this my baby couldnt go on anymore 💔 ,1.0
6735,rachiearoo wish you were  tonight is gonna suck,2.0
6736,rt lvlchi souda so sad komaeda died of ligmahinata dissociating who is komaedasouda ligma balls,2.0
6737,epic fail my lotro trial runs out tomorrow ,2.0
6738,iamthecommodore you lucky lucky  but i get to watch you august  amp  and im soooo  ,0.0
6739,why do i have such little empathy   yo i have very empathy to people and generally dont care about others feelings or why theyre sad i always wish theyd shut the fuck up and actually talk about something interesting ive been feeling this way for years a great example of it today someone was telling their story at a little get together and how they were explaining how she saw a woman beg for seconds so her family could eat later and i care less lol i really only care about people close to me when i was about  i was on the way to pennsylvania with my dad i saw a car spud out and ram into a barricade at  miles and hour and i really couldnt care less and continued to text whoever i was talking to things like this happen on the daily and isnt just a once in a while thing could this be some kind of condition or am i just an asshole lol i also feel disconnected from reality most of the time im out i really feel like im in the real world is when im on my computer or watching a movietv show i always pretend like i care but deep down i just want to tell them to stop talking and fuck off i always make cruel scenarios in my mind about people i even slightly dislike,3.0
6740,going to ikea gemabear ill call u when i get home ,0.0
6741,sad sad sad i work up looked at sarahs couch then realized im really on my own now ,2.0
6742,rt altoctrl im tired of being so goddamn sad all the goddamn time theres only so much more of this i can take,2.0
6743,royfromit haha yes i have thanks though ,0.0
6744,going to the movies ,0.0
6745,rt upbeatjeon jikook harmonizing with each others voice is the cure for depression ,2.0
6746,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
6747,mmmm selfinflicted sleep deprivation came up with a fun card idea though ,0.0
6748,while we were in honduras we got to experience a  earthquake first hand fortunately noone was hurt ,0.0
6749,is ill  and listening to kelly likes shoes and finds it totally hilarious,2.0
6750,what if what if i feel like i cant do it anymore i hate feeling like this  i have a responsibility to my son to survive but im getting tired,3.0
6751,as if mcfly like eminem urghhhh disapointed ,2.0
6752,mcfattie i got it to work again phew i think i noe how to fix urs now ,0.0
6753,music therapy can help with depression and anxiety has music therapy helped you in any way uowtv socialj musictherapy anxiety music,2.0
6754,unable to function 🤷‍♂️ does anyone else find their self unable to function they just sitlay there avoiding doing anything that they need to do and instead just mentally stress over not doing anythingany idea how to deal with thisi feel really lazy but unable to control it ,3.0
6755,is on call  ,0.0
6756,varrenakababyv awww that sucks hun ,2.0
6757,but they put people on the best team without backhandsprings   all my friends made the team and i didnt ,2.0
6758, hello ate ais good morning ,0.0
6759,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
6760,jacquelinalexis ok i guess so but you cant tickel me either ,0.0
6761,gutted that im moving out of bebroadband service area crappy resold bt connection here i come ,2.0
6762,laides get together tonight i cant wait smhcant stay up too late i have work in da am ,2.0
6763,dont be sad😢 armys are here for you😢 we will always support you😢 btstwt be strong😢 ,0.0
6764,johnlloydtaylor you looked great and did an amazing job ,0.0
6765,dannygokey   yess just dont dance too hard  we want cali to still be attached when youre done with it,0.0
6766, nintentdo lameness presents womens murder club games for passion  the audience is stunned not in the good way,0.0
6767,megclifff i havnt seen you in a weeek girll ,2.0
6768,  i finally finished my britney page in my scrapbook from the concert it came out well i think ,0.0
6769,how many of you have felt depressed still are and why a boy with  years oldi have been telling myself for the past year and half that im not depressed rejecting any medice that may help me i have no clue why but since i was a child i was too conscious about everything went trought my parents divorce which affected me in many ways lost myself on a relationship that brought the deep of me and that cant sleep at night and every single thing can make me overthink as pushes way my sleep i have no sleep schedule at the moment sometimes i even ask my grandmother for some pills that make me sleep after  minutes or so but i want to stop taking itpersonal view i was alwats strong boy but i feel pretty damaged at the moment due to been on a crap relationship thats what i think im also lost as i pushed my friends always the ones that advised me and i didnt care at the timeany help would be appreciated as if needed i can go deep on this subject ,3.0
6770,confused  why there are so many trust issues in a relationship ,2.0
6771,unarticulated thoughts a years worth of journal entries unarticulated thoughts  im afraid i might kill myself im incapable of hurting someone holding a grudge—   track attachment final momentswarm nostalgic years laternostalgic and warmfeels like im living in a fond memory slowest warm up ive ever had  the one person i want to listen to me hurts me the mostive hurt her so much i feel bad about hurting heri feel worsei just want to disappearshe has provided for me endlessly but has damaged me she suffers the same sickness genetic maybe i want to disappeari want to be better for her—moments earlier in a moving car i opened the door with thoughts of jumpingi told my mom i need to get help she said just pray i resent her for that i told my mom please take me to a hospital i need help she said no youll lose you job i resent her for that stigmamy mother does not truly acknowledge my thoughts and feelings my illness and tells me to just pray it awayyou would not tell a cancer patient requiring chemotherapy to pray it awayi urged her to listen to me was disregarded i asked her to hug and console me was disregarded—  you may not be feeling good but that doesnt mean you are in a bad state—  falling out of love sucks gap that divided instead of bridge—  my mom just gave me a glimmer of hope this morning hope that there isnt an eventuality of this darkness consuming me—  i dont want to feel numb i am naturally ambitious and extroverted i find myself unable to have simple conversations without feeling terribly uncomfortable i want to dance laugh feel inspired feel sad joyful love and be loved hopeful i still have dark thoughts these past two weeks have been my lowestthe thought that im closer to killing myself than finding myself in a loving union occurred to me at my friends wedding reception i am hopeful though—  self awareness is a virtue and a burden—  im nervous about—  i dont have any answers i wish i did  what am i thinking today—  anxiety is constantly shifting an amorphous kaleidoscope—  independence is truly liberating—  feeling alone unloved irritated feel as though those around me do not truly care nor even know how to work friends the same people that would mourn if something were to happen to me—i dont want to become someone that loses passion becomes resentful—i muttered the words i am nothing just now—i rarely feel genuine connections let alone moments—  اللهم إن أمسكت روحي فارحمها وإن أرسلتها فاحفظها بما تحفظ به عبادك الصالحين compassion for the sake of compassion compassion in the face of despairtragedy corruption cronyism exploitation greed are these essentially the same emotion inversed   im constantly learning to love myself more which is something ive severely struggled with and is a daily battle thank you so much for this exercise it came at a perfect time and its something i think ill continue doing when im feeling low it was difficult getting started but i was able to get into a flowi love my ability to empathize with people i love how aware i am of myself i love my smile i love the way i look i love my interests i love that i am ambitious and have  the desire to leave a positive impact i love that i am kindi love my sense of humordespite the clouds of doubt that surface every so often i love my internalized belief in myself and my capabilities i love my desire to feel real emotions dance laugh feel inspired feel sad joyful love and be loved hopefuli love that i am comfortable with myself by myselfi love that i am young amp black amp muslim amp sudanesei love that i am all of these things at oncei love that i look my fatheri love that i am my mothers and fathers soni love that i am intelligent i love that i am a work in progressi love that i am constantly fascinated and always desiring to learn i love my sense of fashioni love that my experiences and interactions have shaped me positivelyi love that im good at fifa and connect fouri love that i am great regardless of the doubts that incessantly attempt to erode this facti love that i am that nigga—  i am happy even when i am down it doesnt consume me like it once did i no longer wallow in my own despair alhamdulilah alhamdullilah alhamdullilah must always strive towards growth  even though i be on some fuck shit sometimes im proud of the person im becoming inshallah   feeling lonely but refuse to wallow in sadness,3.0
6772,another reason to get out and votesupport realdonaldtrump ❤️🙏🏻🇺🇸,0.0
6773,whats it like to feel motivated i dont remember the last time i felt motivated to do something ,3.0
6774,twitters cool ,0.0
6775,selenagomez youu are soo awesome ,0.0
6776,shamhardy unfortunately yes haih okay okay see you around ,0.0
6777,sent a mail to a close schoolcollegefriend after many yearsbut to ask for a favordisappointed with myself ,2.0
6778,lilylulay yayy congrats  ,0.0
6779,screamingsonic i know babe poor poor baby  i have such a huge admiration for you i think youre my very own version of addison ,2.0
6780,cubs  dodgers  nice ,0.0
6781,jordanknight thanks for the mothers day wishes  thank the moms in your life for me too  happy moms day to them from us ,0.0
6782, a photo souvenir from belfast  i saw these and thought of the googoo toys  ,0.0
6783,im  depressed and angry when i was in primary i had friends a life but got held back  grade the whole world changed the people i knew where gone we all were just starting to grow but not me constantly bullied water thrown a me spit getting pushed i fought back at first this white kid while i was tied my shoes together slap me and ran i went to chase him and fell on my face the whole class even the teacher laughed at lunch i found him and  other boys the thing is i beat that kid then i got jumped lucky for me the pe teacher stop us in the school eyes i started it so i moved to middle school thinking things would change back they didnt thats when i started praying to god he never helped so i endured till  grade my lil bro quiet and nice was waiting for the bus why are people so evil i ran to him just standing there  people spitting on him i swear i was trying to beat the life out the one who egged it on but the teachers pull me off him but didnt save my brother thats when i loss respect when back and punted his head then screamed  the next person to touch me or my brother is a dead man i snapped but the rest of middle school was great being shunned is better than being bullied not having to look over your shoulder being able to sleep we moved when high school started i changed my whole personality the number  rule die about your respect,3.0
6784,bonfires with friends after work is always good ,0.0
6785,support is love remember to support your friends and family even when they push you away its for their own good ,0.0
6786,goodtogotour its what the zune software displays when you listen to music yeah i went to leeds but missed lars due to public transport ,2.0
6787,op cant even kill himself ive lurked this sub for a while now and ive read so many personal experiences from people i will probably never get to meet and yet i feel connected to i dont want to tell my whole story because honestly not even i would care to read that but in the last months ive been getting worse my only dream is everyday further away and im less motivated i cant do the things i used to love and honestly ive given up at everythinglast week i tried killing myself for the first time i couldnti went to a tall building on my city and started down with all the intentions to jump and yet my feet wouldnt move i dont believe anyone would be truly sad if i left people who say they care for me but honestly they dont know me they couldnt know me even if they triedits just too much and at some point i decided it was time and i have nothing to look up for nothing else to do with my short life ive done it i feel empty i managed to fuck up everything i cared for and now im finally completely hollowso i couldnt jump i stared down from that fucking building for what seemed hours and couldnt fucking jump and i feel like shit because of iti know no one will read to this point because no one really cares but i couldnt even kill myself and im finally defeated,3.0
6788, u amp ur bike go up the ski lift then its woohoo all the way downit was a blast u did great in ur racecongrats ,0.0
6789, thanks hun  x,0.0
6790,my twitter picture isnt showing ,2.0
6791,madss i wish i couldve gone and said hello too but my drivers are awol and i cant drive ,2.0
6792,checking the weather forecastfor this week notlooking so good its either very hot or heavy downpour ,2.0
6793, yes she is  that girl will go far ,0.0
6794,jabogan its a curse  i mean i think all my chars do  oh well at least i have an incentive to learncreate some ,0.0
6795,rt dazinc really isnt suicide the most personal thing on this earth how can it be a problem to make it about yourself 🤔 httpstco,2.0
6796,i ate turkey today i swear but not a leg ,2.0
6797,happy birthday to me  ,0.0
6798,finally done my patio  im pro at life now xd,0.0
6799,rt kiansartist can yall believe in less than two weeks itll be   anniversary sad alexa play  song by charlie puth,2.0
6800,when youre sad and someone casually like a co worker asks how you are will you say sad i have depression and sometimes work is harder than other times because of how sad i am dealing with customers is hard but of course i push through it i dont seem or act sad and my co workers and i arent close enough to know i have depression sometimes i really want to say that im kinda sad in response to a how are you but i dont want to make it awkward or have to explain anything it would just be nice for them to know that my shift is hard for me to get through,3.0
6801,hurting i know its wrong to think but cant help it right now just want to go to sleep totally asleep and never wake up,3.0
6802,tellmrtweet i recommend myfriendamy because shes fun and one of my fav tweeps ,0.0
6803, because i dont like how my story is turning out  and it pisses me off when i dont like my writting so i am sad,2.0
6804,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
6805,mileycyrus she is a man i heard dat she did a sexual transplant and dont u eeeevvvveeerrr rrreeadddd ur reppplies  im ann ,2.0
6806,why did they change the covers on my anne rice books  im gonna find out if i can order the old ones in,2.0
6807,modelmandylynn awww how many all healthy i hope  x,0.0
6808,matthewday bye ,0.0
6809,mikannahh youre not petite well yeah i guess hes got a sense of humor  i owe you a package check your mail soon i promise,0.0
6810,my phone is broken ,2.0
6811,troyjh chontellebourke oh the religion debate is a futile one i agree with chontelle with the quotlet it bequot statement yes i lurked ,2.0
6812,i try so hard but nothing is ever going to change the title sums it up ill start off by saying i have been trying to make some life changes for a few years now but nothing i do seems to work and im honestly convinced my life is not worth living i never had a real parent figure in my life and i spent a lot of my teen years homeless bouncing around from place to place im  now and a couple of years ago i decided i was sick of the way my life was going and ive decided to make some changes to live the life i want to live but shit just keeps getting worse and now im extremely frustrated and depressed i have nobody i can talk to and nobody i am really close with so thats why i am here the only friends i have only ever reach out to me when the need something from me i am a nice person and i always try to help when i can but i end up getting used all of the time every where i look people are living these great amazing lives filled with friends family and good fortune and here i am doing the same old bullshit day after day trying to make the best of it im so sick of living this way ive tried so hard to make good friendships but i just cant seem too im so different from society and i be myself around people but i just get swept under the rug and forgotten about im dead inside and sick of living in this world i honestly dont know why i have been granted such a shitty life im young and i should be having the time of my life but i guess not the only good things that happen to me are nothing beyond material ,3.0
6813,why you sad i dont know i dont know smile say i love you,0.0
6814,allison watched lost with me and has been enjoying it im in heaven ,0.0
6815,daynah you missed dev camp  matt showed us the secret wordpress easter egg its pretty funny see you again at wordcamp la,2.0
6816,tonywade i know  but we have to face the cruel reality,2.0
6817,these type of stories need to stop showing up in the news  ,2.0
6818,i just feel so wrothless hi guysim  and dont have the best relationship with my dad right nowever since i was  he used to hit me and swear a lot at mehes not home very often and comes latesince im weak in chemistry and maths he says no one will even take a glance at me in the future and that i am worthlessi got beat up with a belt for getting bad grades in math when i was about  was once told tp take my shirt off and he threatened to throw me out on the street and beat me in publicmy mom is a cancer patient and my dad says shes mental and is always fighting with herthis has led me to start lying out of fearstaying in my room all the timeschool life is somewhat better even though i get made fun of for my voice by  percent of my entire classall in all i feel worthless and i just wanted to vent my feeling out and get some advicethanks for reading,3.0
6819,danielfielding haha love that one too ,0.0
6820,im on a boatgot my swim trunks and my flippy floppyshehe night twitterlanddd ,0.0
6821,poor poddys battery adapter died ,2.0
6822,natfejos congrat on ur wedding god bless your marriage ,0.0
6823,melissaanelli   wow looks yummy wish i was there ,0.0
6824,making quotlostquot signs for my cat ,2.0
6825, sounds like youre having a great time ive been sunning myself by the sea again ,0.0
6826,rt queenguillotine this isnt even funny especially the last comment abusive relationships are hard to leave a lot of times although s,0.0
6827,how do i help a friend struggling with depression one of my close friends has been struggling with depression and anxiety for a while now he knows it but doesnt talk about it openly aside from his girlfriend his family doesnt help him much either he doesnt want to go and get help as he believes it wont help him how can i help him  encourage him to seek assistance without  forcing and nagging him to do so thank you ,3.0
6828,reachnyc oh ok thanks ,0.0
6829,citalopram and leftover alcohol hello yesterday i was prescribed citalopram  one in the mornings had a few drinks in the evening to spend time with friends before i step on the cure and stop drinkingsupposed to start the meds todayi may have some leftover alcohol in my blood still tho didnt get completely black out wasted is it ok to take the pill anyway i know alc and meds should not be combined in general ps im scared of the side effects tiredness sleeplessness excessive sweating dry mouthnever ever in my life i have thought id end up taking meds for depression its so scary,3.0
6830,we did stop for ice cream amp then i casually mentioned i had a twitter party to attend  singlemomclaire mmwanted,0.0
6831,my mommy is making me clean my room ,2.0
6832,angelicabarros indoors  work on this beautiful  degree day ,2.0
6833,early start for a change ,0.0
6834,lgladdy ill just create a small graphic and throw that up  x,0.0
6835,deepest condolences i sent to tae and his family  i hope his grandfather rest in peace  dont be sad too ,1.0
6836,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
6837,rt technicaltwin saying bye to chokingchunti today made me sad on how all our friends are leaving soon and we wont see eachother everyd,1.0
6838,working like a robot these days but satisfied at the end of the day because i am enjoying my work  learning something new everyday ,0.0
6839,sixverstein i know you dont mean it that way but it always feels little like youre having dig at me about the eucl when you say that ,2.0
6840,was thinking of having a relaxing weekend not working but alas i have homework  must get my analyses done before my durban trip tuesday,2.0
6841,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
6842,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
6843,daviddrissel welcome aboard  have fun in hawaii ,0.0
6844,headed to broken arrow to watch daves lil sisters softball game cheddars for dinner after gonna be a long drive home though ,2.0
6845,im very tiredbored and sadwhat a great evening ,2.0
6846,all packed and ready to go leaving in  hour ,0.0
6847,death finals are today ,2.0
6848,i am really happy to hear that rafel nadal is no more in french open  for feddie ,0.0
6849,listening to adam lambert and writing a blog ,0.0
6850,tommcfly thats why you should had called the band fletcher quothere with me today i have tom from fletcherquot ,0.0
6851,misskellyo english are the best and no youre not stupid ,0.0
6852,lauradawg lol she is okay its just he songs are so catchy they get stuck in my head ,2.0
6853,well that only took a long time ugh   but hey  spuning should be happier now,2.0
6854,mitchelmusso i love you  cant wait july fifth ,0.0
6855,could twitter do something about all the quotbrittney fed vidquot followers or are we waiting for ashton to hit a million of those too ,2.0
6856, thanks for the cd ,0.0
6857,amalucky se  xronia tha to anakalypsoun ki afto ,0.0
6858,its time like these i wish my tv wroked in my room ,2.0
6859,hahaha pretty stoked bout toy story  comin out next year rofl  ,0.0
6860,davidhenrie um what david  ,0.0
6861,momo lost his favorite toy and i swear ive never seen him so sad and depressed before 💔where can one purchase a new alligator squeaky toy,2.0
6862,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
6863,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
6864,rudedoodle i dunno i think stepping down pretty much forces an election which means tories ,2.0
6865,bad day getting worse  my mom is now on her way to the er again ,2.0
6866,one step ahead and two steps back i did daily plans mediation try to regain my passion it worked very well for a few days but once i cant follow through the plans i made all i feel is not being good enough unworthy and completely relapse back to my worst empty self my boyfriend has a stressful job and struggles with family issues so instead of dragging him down i really want to fix my part and become stable enough to offer him support he does not understand much about depression would tell me to stop self pitying and get my shxt together i am in a foreign country where i do not want to add worries to my parents or others sometimes i feel like even the closest one would eventually turn against me and there is no way for me to let this large chunk of hollowness and negativity out i feel like im all alone and nobody really understands or want to hear me out      what are some of your ways of battling depression and what worked for you,3.0
6867,kamakaccijuice lmfao dagnabit i already knew this  i just needed someone equally as crazy to call me out on it ,2.0
6868,just found out a good friend from church jackie leedom just passed awayi am very sad ,2.0
6869,title i dont even know what to say i dont know what to share with you people i dont know anything anymore    i just feel empty i want to give up,3.0
6870,need to be left alone but also really needs a hug ,2.0
6871,taiimenios he was a bad boy so he was sad in these pics u deserved better im sorry but these are definitely my worst thank you though 😘😘,0.0
6872,cant stand nights when it becomes dark i cant stand it i feel alone and sad even when im with my friends and laughing i had a gf for  months we broke up  years ago and tried  times to get together but we just cant make it and i started to feel so worse after that tried with  other girls but i cant feel better with anyone and my family my friends non of them can help me feel better i drink alcohol smoke weed to feel better but even that just makes me a little better when im not drinking night just become nightmare i get ideas of suicide or if some car would hit me and i wont wake up after all these i just go to sleep so sun can rise and i can fell better and have fun  sorry for my bad english,3.0
6873,thenewpsies ok i was just about to shower and watch the hours lets do the hours so we can spazz later ,0.0
6874,my insane double life hi this is my first time visiting this sub im a  year old male ive just recently accepted the fact that im depressed after years of denial i need to share my story with someone anyone my whole life ive been living an alter ego a double life i have  identities  sad anxious shy scared a true introvert   happy fun loveable charismatic a true extrovert i know myself as  everybody else knows me as ive always been a good actor a great even you may call me david blaine i make my personality  disappear   everyone «loves» me i have always been known for being that guy who always smiles the happy guy spreads joy and love compassion and care the funny one class clown liked by everyone and a day at school without me was a boring day i know this sounds super narcissistic but hear me out please this is my fake personality the one where i just snap my fingers and turn on everyday the true me is scared of everything i have always lived with anxiety i feel like  but live as  i hate talking about my feelings my true feelings i have no problem faking feelings but to express my true ones is my biggest fear nobody knows me as  maybe my closest family but i have never talked to anybody about how i really feel ive lived too long as a different person to reveal my true identity because of this insane charade ive never let anyone get too close to me ive never let anyone inside my real world i have never been in a relationship im  years old and a virgin and this by choise not because i couldnt get a girl my  could probably get anyone that he wanted my  gets emotionally attached so easily but  also push them away because of the fear of being hurt and exposed because of this i lost the only girl i truly loved she liked my  not my  she never knew my  so i pushed her away i have hundreds of «friends» friends that my  has acquired my  has no friends i live at home with my parents i never finished my education no job no money i dont have a drivers license no girlfriend no future ive spent the last  months in my room in my bed  hours a day only going down to eat and use the bathroom i have multiple panick attacks every day health anxiety and im depressed i never go out anymore suicide on my mind everyday but the only thing that keeps me going is my little sister i could never do anything to upset her all this because i chose to hide my fears and live a fake life ive wasted my whole fucking life because i was scared ive lived in a false sense of security in a made up world i have achived nothing all i want is to live a normal life i want to feel love so bad real fucking love but im so fucking stupid i wish i never did what i did everyday is spent in regret and thinking «what if» im so lonely i just want real friends a girlfriend and a family some day i hate myself so much im fucking insane if you made it through all of that then i thank you from all of my heart this is the first time i really open up and it feels good to get it out there please dont make the same mistake that i did it feels good for a while but then it all crashes down and ends in misery ,3.0
6875,thenextweb thanks for the twitterbook review nice and concise ,0.0
6876,just working on a special order catalog for tobias huerta talavera ,0.0
6877,is bored out of my mind doing homework ,2.0
6878,capminiatures  youre welcome  thanks for responding to my twit on the trip  needed a laugh every once in a while,0.0
6879,losinghopex just saw it its soooo amazing  ,0.0
6880,kelly clarkson is actually very smart and funny such a relief  fb watching good news week,0.0
6881,wayneshort  what do u n yours have planned   im working all weekend ,2.0
6882,xanister indeed you werent on there just now ,0.0
6883,flashinstorm yes im happier now ,0.0
6884,chill,1.0
6885,i cant sleep missing the person i love most for the past  of my life if only ,2.0
6886,wendilynnmakeup hi wendi are you enjoying your weekend did you have much fun yesterday thanks for all the pics ,0.0
6887,sooooo pissed off i taped true blood on my dvrjust got home and realized stupid time warner didnt xfer my hbo package  the house ,2.0
6888,tatatay idk haha i just tried my hardest ,0.0
6889,im over a day late i know but no more a levels   wipes tear,2.0
6890,revising latin verbs ,2.0
6891,i feel pathetic for having breakdowns so frequently i hate that i have some sort of breakdown almost every day about different things sometimes im depressed and sad because i think im never going to be good enough for anything then the next day i just overall feel like shit and the day after that i feel lonely and insecure for not having much friends who to talk with and spend time with  if im lucky i can go two to three days without any breakdowns until something triggers me to have one and im tired of it   i fear that one day all this will make my loved ones especially my best friend to cut ties with me because they get tired with having to deal with me on my bad daysall i want is to be content with my life i know i cant have the best life possible but i at least want to be happy even for one whole week or month,3.0
6892,mileycyrus hey miley pls answer my reply ,2.0
6893,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
6894,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
6895,no clubbing for me this weekend  break sorely needed lol,2.0
6896,cassieinabox hi i miss you too my phone doesnt work here ,2.0
6897,for pedophile victims the first thing that you have to do to get out from depression phase and to move on is forgi ,2.0
6898,op shopping with ash today ,0.0
6899,am i depressed let me start off by saying that im happily married with two kids and love my life but i just cant seem to find the motivation to want to do anything after i get home from work even if its something i enjoy doing such as playing music my band will make plans to practice a week in advance but i find myself trying to find an excuse to not go i just love to be at home with my family ill make plans with friends and then at the last minute ill try and look for a way out of hanging out i use to never be like this until we had our first kid i hate feeling like this ,3.0
6900,dannymcfly so do i  are you drunk,0.0
6901,rt nandossa simthola kanjani lo sisi weguys rt to save a life ,1.0
6902,scraperbikeking yes he dobut it is a big realization  him he goes to a school thats  white ,2.0
6903,sooo sad but very true mfers love to look like clowns behind closed doors 🙄😒,0.0
6904, just up for the weekend i live in the south bay its fun to spoil ourselves once in a while ,0.0
6905,yes pills with a car  awesome found a ride ,0.0
6906,do you have lived experience of depression  please complete this survey httpstcorolxqyglrk,2.0
6907,who do you talk to when you want to die i hate hotlines i feel like i cant talk to my girlfriend because i dont want her to pity me my friends dont get it and will tell my gf anyways my parents freak out im scared to be admitted i just wanna say out loud to someone that i want to die,3.0
6908,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
6909,wii fit plus coming this fall to japan hopefully the us soon after  need to get ready now for brunch  irish pub w my guy amp  friends,0.0
6910,getting some writing done then headed for a runhopefullythis weather is giving me a slight headache ,2.0
6911,drinking coffee and try to wake uphave to work ,2.0
6912,good afternoon wahaha woke up around  ,0.0
6913,ready to go look at rings n shit ,0.0
6914,anyone not depressed anymore necessarily but still wish theyd have killed themselves when they got close i almost killed myself i didnt worked through it  now  months later i think about suicide but fleetingly im not looking for opportunities at every turn anymorei dont think im depressed anymore but i still wished i completed suicide i dont have alot of hope for myself and feel like it would have saved me alot of troubleidk what that means or what it makes me but yeah anyone else,3.0
6915,just loves hayfever season yesiree ,2.0
6916,danielstereos wear hippie attire for the concert ,0.0
6917,lucindaaxo coming out daisie rang and woke me up  what have i been googling btw,2.0
6918,happy together  ,0.0
6919,mclass gone ,2.0
6920,nonafairuz and he planned to bond you together with him haha what a life ,0.0
6921,byblosconn just the same as the phillies loss  agh,2.0
6922,fraserspeirs they thought they were in for an easy shift ,0.0
6923,not enough sleep gym and london next ,2.0
6924, thanks lisa everyone is homeall sleeping  so much  breakfast in bed i hope u have a great mothers day  ,0.0
6925,farrah fawcett losing her battle to cancer  hollywood gathers to pray for a miracle httptinyurlcomqaldrf,2.0
6926,wishing things were different ,2.0
6927,does anyone want to contribute to the frankie  michelle wedding fund geez everything is so expensive ,2.0
6928,bebebel sounds like alot of fun ,0.0
6929,is excited my pops is home woohoo  calling it an early night to spend time because i havent seen him in like  daysnight night,0.0
6930,girls are both in dance recital tonight  hair makeup does it ever end ,0.0
6931,got the song quotblame canadaquot from south park stuck in my head cuz ontario just banned single flavored cigarillos wtf america is next ,2.0
6932,i went  bed at like  last night and got up at  im so tired but that was such a fun party best party of my life ,0.0
6933,bonelessthurs haha i also went  only got the diaz fight right  strikeforce,2.0
6934,hi jimziegler thanks for the mrtweet recommendation httpmrtweetcomstuarteme   just call me opinionated ,0.0
6935,my mom doesnt wanna believe that celebrities use twitter and that its really them its soooo hard for her to believe me  pray for her,2.0
6936,will watch mando diao on rock am ring later but only on tv ,2.0
6937,margaritachum sorry i tried to be on but you werent there when i got on msn   peace on me,2.0
6938,nicolelovesyou they been wanting to meet u cause i been talking bout u alot cause i miss u like alot ,2.0
6939,akissgoodbye no problem and yeah he always looks good haha  no im sorry thats the only one i have ,2.0
6940,just finished the minish cap its a great game ill miss ezlo and link ,2.0
6941,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
6942,myskinnygarden enjoyed meeting you at sf and you look like your photo ,0.0
6943,im wasting my life  years old been suffering with depressionanxiety for the last  years and ptsd for the last  i have very few close friendssocial interactions due to who i am as a person the better part of my life has been figuring out how to survive when your brain is telling you otherwise so i feel like i missed out on a lot of socially developmental milestones as a teen i just finished my associates degree so now i wake up go to work and come home ill play video games or read and then spend several hours trying to sleep so i can go back to work in the morning during the weekends i drink always alone i feel stuck and scared that this is my life forever more  im self conscious and automatically hesitant to pursue any kind of friendshiprelationship due to abandonment issues i just know that if i was diagnosed with terminal cancer tomorrow which i think about a lot thanks anxiety i would be full of regret for the rut ive been living in im not even sure why im posting other than i feel so alone and needed to throw this into the void thanks to anyone who actually read this ,3.0
6944,i wish i could draw i used to do it back in hs and you know the ole sayinguse it or lose it and i lost it and im so very sad ,2.0
6945,swung by the nursing care facility to see my nearly  year old grandmother  she looks and sounds great much better than she has been  ,0.0
6946,i think i have the baby bird warm now ill have to stay up all night making sure its still warm its head looks like its been bleeding ,2.0
6947,were getting a lot of understandable questions about the whereabouts of mvgrouporg unfortunately we dont have any answers yet ,2.0
6948,prom was fun i cant sleep amymoremy legs hurt im upset about not getting pics done ,2.0
6949,all the easy cleaning things done down to the more effortrequiring things like kitchen windows amp floor scrubbing ,2.0
6950, home is the funnest place to be ,0.0
6951, oh man not you as well ,2.0
6952,davidarchie crying miss yah  lol  trueposted many times so youll see if you still would not notice this aww for that ,2.0
6953,im sooo nervous for my math exam tomorrow ,2.0
6954,csharpzealot have to ask the dpe oz guys that one as for the future im hopeful  but who knows how the world shapes up over nxt  yrs,0.0
6955,is missing everyone back home so much ,2.0
6956,rt mishkasulaiman the amount of overdoses were currently getting at the hospital is unreal mental illness is a real issue and taking wa,1.0
6957,nobody actually fucking cares lmao its all posturing bullshit im going to die alone and i deserve it none of you strangers give a fuck and no one in my life does either its all pointless anyway maybe tommorow will be the day that i work up enough courage to end this bullshit im tired of the games im tired of the expectations ill never be functional and no one fucking cares if i had a gun i wouldve ended it already maybe ill finally work up the courage to stand in front of a train fuck i hate this life and i hate being alive what the fuck is the point i just want a sign a reason to actually care but im too much of a piece of shit too see itim too much of a piece of shit to kill myself like i deserve but i hope i do soon,3.0
6958,lol im sayin i do love when chandleriiam come in the room throwin up gang signs right before sex follow by a pop lockn droppit ,0.0
6959,hummm such a lame weekend ,2.0
6960,has just joined twitter ,0.0
6961,nickkkjonasss i am so excited about yalls show on saturday in dallas me and my sisters cannot wait hope you have a great week ,0.0
6962,reading night world volume  book  secret vampire ,0.0
6963,umm im a little freaked sisters boyfriend is outside hunting in my yard why im home alone too  someone come help hehe,2.0
6964,anyone feel their reasonrationality slipping this is hard to describe but i feel like the depression is overall getting worse because im less able to distinguish between my voice and the depression voice it wasnt long ago that i would get negative thoughts my friends tolerate me ill never reach this goal etc and be able to take a second and go ok this isnt me talking its the depression like i could point out an irrational belief to myself now im not sure if my thoughts are rational or not like the depressed me and me have merged i genuinely dont know if its irrational to think that ill never be in a relationship thinking that some suicides can be considered rational vs the result of a sick brain or thinking that my depression will only get worse i thought i would always have reason barring something like dementia but even that is questionable at this point and its scary as hell,3.0
6965,back at it again i got out of psych ward a couple of weeks ago and i just cut my legs so deep i could see the muscle im so disappointed at myself,3.0
6966,januaryelle im going to throw a fit and hopefully someone will send me to sit on my bed so i can take a nap too ,0.0
6967,hanging out at my house on a saturday night by myselfsad deal  ,2.0
6968, cory hiiiii remember were hanging out tomorrow ,0.0
6969,so bored  was meant to go out but looking  isnt cool and no lift haha ,2.0
6970,off to workkkk ,2.0
6971,i wish almostheather was here ,2.0
6972,how do you guys entertain yourselves when youre alone so ive had probably the worst week in my life where ive been crying every night which ive never experienced before not really because of something particular going on the only bright point in my life is my gf and we had been planning the whole week to spend the weekend together yesterday she backed out of it with the reason that she had to study on sunday all this in front of our friends so now i have absolutely nothing to do until school starts on mondayi used to be able to play video games all day because it was fun and i longed after soccer practice every day now nothing interests me in the slightest im just laying here looking at my phone bored to death i keep trying to play some video games but as soon as i boot a game up i just cant be arsed and turn off my computer i try to watch some tv series but i just get carried away with my thoughts and then i have to rewind and its just not fun or entertaining to watch ive also taken a break from soccer since i dont have any friends in the team and just feel more lonely and shit after practice  anyway what do you guys do at home when youre alone to prevent being bored or to keep you entertained for a while,3.0
6973, thats sad man he has potential to be one of our best relievers for a while,0.0
6974,justellie i had a gizmo doll i cant find it  i miss the little mogwai,2.0
6975, wtf lame  i should be there,2.0
6976, head over heals in the moment i never thought that id catch this lovebug again ,0.0
6977,so close to keeping the bnp away from the north west ,2.0
6978,flu ampamp cramps at the same time ,2.0
6979,youtube is process the yoggsaron video this time featuring commentary due to popular request ,0.0
6980,jonno  ouch it almost reminds me of the worst bits of the place where i used to work with dalevile ,0.0
6981,stupid memory card ,2.0
6982,im done with everything im done im fucking done nobody likes me im ugly and ill never be good enough all of that shit was drilled into my head and then someone made me realize that maybe i am enough but not anymore he said im psychotic and i should kill myself so maybe i fucking will he said he was never in love with me and i just i dont even fucking know what to do im tired of being fucking used by people im tired of getting my hopes up for no reason im tired of people not fucking understanding me im tired of people never seeing my side of things so im done goodbye all of you and fuck you jonah,3.0
6983,bloggingchick thats also true ,0.0
6984,most terrifying thing just happened to me i dont know if it was sleep apnea but i couldnt move speak or see im so freaked out ,2.0
6985,awatifazizan the site cant be reached la dari tadi haha stress pula,2.0
6986,no oregon no jeremy  ughhh camp at    text mee at least me and sean are finally talking,2.0
6987,but i am leaving again  ,2.0
6988,about to go to last exam ,0.0
6989,kprincess ,0.0
6990,igarebear yay  okay i wasnt sure haha ,0.0
6991,no music for the end ,2.0
6992,maybe you can run from your problems how many therapists have to tell you you have a toxic family before you believe them no joke no punchline the answer is too many but i think ive got it now  just finished having a talk with my dad and brother who ive been living with for a few years now weve been working on a business for about  years now its gone nowhere until recently supposedly my dad has finally found a big investor this could be it problem is i want out  im tired of not getting the respect i have definitely earnedive always been the caretaker in my family but ive also always been the one who gets crapped on the most im the monster who will always come out of a calm level discussion looking like an immature child who takes everything too personally and cant keep their emotions in check so im never allowed to speak until i can be calm which i never can  be because im always being shut down its a never ending cycle  all my life my whole family has been afraid me and its just gotten worse over the years theyre fine when they need money from me or need me to take one of the dogs to the vet or babysit nieces or nephews but once thats done its back to being the hideous troll terrorizing the family and im done  im the only who is seeing a therapist who has seen one regularly but my dad is constantly telling me i need to fix my shit get over whatever my problems are cause no one is leaving this company unless they have the money to pay back the investors no one is breaking the lease unless they can pay for the time it takes to get someone new in there  funny thing is theyd be screwed without me i am the only one who knows how to make the receipe  right now without me they have no product im paying more than  of the rent utilities i pay for the cableinternet buy most the the groceries pay and do everything for their dog as well as mine  and thats on top of my own bills and they still treat me like i dont do anything but walk around pissed off all the time last week we were supposed to have a meeting on tuesday but my dads workout ran over a few hours so we missed out he promised me all week hed spend saturday getting this proposal done but he didnt get home till  am saturday morning when i got home saturday afternoon i found him not working on the proposal but cleaning the house after hed gone and done his workout with his girlfriend earlier then he went to his room and slept until  when i left to meet with friends i asked if he was going to get to the proposal at all and he didnt like my tone sunday he promised me hed be working on it at his girlfriends while she was at a meeting that afternoon but i get home from church at  and hes at our house asleep on the couch  i was frustrated i said i thought he was going to his girlfriends he said he was then slunk out of the house waited till he was a safe distance away and then called asking me what my problem was because i  seemed upset after yet another argument he decided the problem was i need to learn to communicate better to stop assuming things and not be so pissed off all the time this is how it goes the responsibility  of every action is placed on me im always the problem so im thinking now its time to remove the problem im not sure how to do it i know if i leave ill have to leave the city and with a little notice as possible  cause the last  times i told my dad i was done and wanted out i got the same threats noone  ie you is leaving and just giving up ive already been to the crisis center a couple times since the summer with suicidal thoughts at christmas they sent me home with some heavy sedation for while i was off work i told my dad about it and all he asked was if id be okay if he went to his girlfriends cabin for the week i told him i was thinking of killing myself and he leaves me alone to go skiing  so they say you cant run away from your problems but i think sometimes you can its just a matter of figuring put how to do it,3.0
6993,i finally made an appointment with a therapist im very new to this sub for the past few months ive been struggling with depression i was planning my wedding which is now over thank god and the stress was causing me to totally shut off and tune the world out i stopped going to the gym i stopped focusing on school i could barely get anything doneive been stuck in this limbo of should i or shouldnt i every time i thought to myself that i am probably depressed and need to seek help i am tired of waking up in the morning plopping myself on the couch and spending hours on my phone and not getting a single thing done im over this shit and i want to get back to where i was a year ago when i was healthy active and generally happy with my life so this morning i checked out my coverage for my health insurance mental health services covered at  ill admit i felt pretty stupid for not taking advantage of this sooner i called and scheduled my first ever therapy appointment i feel better like ive taken a step in the right direction i have no idea why ive put this off for so long but im happy that ive finally accepted that i need help and cantshouldnt have to deal with this on my own,3.0
6994,i really need some help for the longest time i havent had any feelings about anything  i feel empty all the time i dont feel happiness or sad i just feel nothing i have no feelings about my family sure id be sad if one of them passed away but while theyre here i feeling nothing towards them no love no hate i moved out of home two months ago and i dont miss them at all i always wanted to move out and when i finally did i just had no feelings towards the situationits similar with my so weve been together for a year and a half and it was great in the beginning but now when im with her that emptiness is still there im not excited to see her after being apart when were together its just blank i feel like i have nothing to give yet i dont want to break up my current job is demanding and full on long hours late finishes and early starts this job brings me no joy or satisfaction its more blankness right now my whole life just seems like eh there are other factors in my life that could possibly contribute to this but i just want to know if this feeling is depression i didnt know where else to go,3.0
6995,lisamurray sniff sniff still no lisa my day is incomplete   oh well i hae film to shoot anyhow lol procrastination kills me,2.0
6996,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
6997,i love that show but i cant watch it anymore  i have season  on dvdi want them all lol,2.0
6998,rt jewelljcj why am i getting sad boi hour over a bad person,2.0
6999,legit it sucks having to take medicine twice a day and go to a therapist every month and always have panic attacks ,2.0
7000,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,1.0
7001,were going back to blackpool  another overnight stay with mum and dad before heading home tomorrow  uk tour nearly done,0.0
7002,soooo glad its friday and sunny   just want all the obligations over with so that i can relax   ,0.0
7003,quaigee theres apparently a site that can tell you whether you can run  i cant use it cuz its windows only   ,2.0
7004,why am i here no really i cant think of a good reason for existing everyday it feels like everything hurts but nothing is hurting physically my impulsive side just doesnt want to be here but my more controlled side just ignores that i have to take care of my sickly grandmother and of my immediate familys house all while trying to get my own life in order getting a job friends etc and it all feels exhausting i doesnt even feel like i do certain things because i want to its now because i have to i have to eat to maintain the body i have to do recreational activities to keep my mind and body occupied but really all i want to do is nothing i just want to die honestly hell maybe not die just not exist like one day im here and the next gone no death no body just poof gone i wouldnt feel anything i wouldnt notice anything i would just be gone but nope thats just wishful thinking im trying to move forward but every neural pathway in my brain says no i dont want to fucking do this anymore its stupid its all so utterly inane and just exhausting i dont wanna be here i dont wanna be anywhere but i can never muster the will to end myself especially because i feel responsible for my friend and family if it werent for them if i really had nobody i wouldnt be typing this right now ,3.0
7005,folding my clothes so boring ,2.0
7006,lesnoychelovek     ,0.0
7007, i want  my  mcfly  album  back ,2.0
7008,gonzalezpris thats monday  ,0.0
7009,caresslepore but at least it didnt drive you to throw your computer across the room ,0.0
7010, birthday and feels not so good well turned  centurydid coursework dinner with family and saw a movie with a friend and went home and it was still like nothing wild happeningfor some reason still feelslonely manik solitude is good and stuff but ehh getting that feeling of alone forever and shitwas kind of afraid of this day and it turning out to be depressing at the endalso note its fucking  valentine days in like nxt week and reminds me of fucking alone ness fuck earth,3.0
7011,pvponline i liked your new ding but why is it © ,0.0
7012,iamjohnmartinez ive been home from tour for over a month and ive seen you once ,2.0
7013,actually he remembered her,1.0
7014,hi everyone ,0.0
7015,youngq goodnite rob ,0.0
7016,rt losaretesdealan fairyalonso aww muchas gracias tengo una historia re sad con él te amooovotación masivaalexhoyer ruggeropasquar,2.0
7017,lets play outsideall day long ,0.0
7018,dynamicshock np ,0.0
7019,ddlovato bawled my eyes out really did the ugly cry lol ,0.0
7020,fk my sisinlaw playing piano  ajaja guess ill take as a lullaby ,2.0
7021,maka sad man last year na tapos ganun 🙁,2.0
7022, im  mos old yes definitely teething but i havent destroyed any furnitures though   mom would kill me,0.0
7023,off todayreally bummed that a week ago today britney wil be in vegas and i wont be able to go ,2.0
7024,well i feel kinda silly about this blush i guess ill get quotitquot out of my head tomorrow goodnight ,0.0
7025,evooba    yeah he is especially in this pic,0.0
7026,davidarchie indeed cant stop sneezing myself  good luck at the game today,2.0
7027,dhughesy im home and in bed  im bored tho not tired yet what should i do tomorrow hmmm,2.0
7028,clairehancock get over here then ,0.0
7029,at work ,2.0
7030,tatianacreusot awww dont worry quesites will always have your back ,0.0
7031,buju bantonat least  more hours of juice ,0.0
7032,same people always comment on how happy i seem or positive so i definitely let them know im diagnosed mdd everyo ,0.0
7033,bleuhmeuhdesign thanks ,0.0
7034,newfrontiergirl no i am offering to promote your work i liked how u said  support ,0.0
7035,want to write my thoughts and current life situation down where do i beginive recently realized that ive pretty much lost the last few things i care about and that im finally completely empty ive spent most of my short life as a mechanical engineer going from job to no job hating most hours of my life in my free time i never went to parties and ive never had many friends the one girlfriend i had dumped me because it was too much of a long distance for the relationship and in our last conversation together admitted that she never really loved mepretty mush all of my adult life i have drank semi heavily working at a bar seemed like a good idea at the time so that i could become more comfortable talking to people and gain skills in a field that wasnt working with spanners or metalmy love interest was all i really cared about until recently when i was being too needy and backed off she was regularly my stand in therapist for most conversations i had with her i feel like i may have lost her as a friendlast week i smoked a stronger dose of a hallucinogen called dmt and this was this first time that i felt truly at peace i promised myself that i would at least complete a heavy breakthrough dose if i ever finally decided to end it all which i have thought about regularly im currently on sertraline again and im seeing my actual therapist tomorrow im going to tell her about my interest in psychedelics and the potential of alleviating depression also i want to ask her about any advice of finding more meaning in my life or trying to stay semi productive i really want to quit my job as i am sick of it and it feels like a dead end but that will mean i will most likely lose the only two proper friends i have now as the current job works unsociable hoursthe three things that give me hope right now are that im seeing my therapist tomorrow that im currently trying to learn how to skateboard and that im probably going to smoke dmt again sooni feel trapped in my own life and dont know what to do everything is completely pointless and i am not motivated enough to pursue my own purposethanks for reading this i really want to die most of the time i just dont want to hurt my familycheers for any replies or thoughts and sorry for the long read,3.0
7036,seniors last day  ,2.0
7037,kicking it with inaequitas and eating noodles   then star trek life is good ,0.0
7038,start check in post i resently started worse everything in my mind is just screaming at me i am useless that i am nothing they all say just end it so i am thinking about posting more here so i am obliged to myself to do somethingso here i starti had a really long facetime coversation with my gf that started fun slowly i started feeling worse cause she started talking about her best friend i am not a jealous person but when your bestfriend is your ex and i see how you two talk to each other still say i love you to each other than my anxiety can do nothing but spin out control my anxiety takes over what turns into the thoughts of just breaking up cause i am not good enough that i am just not the right person for anyone so why live a lonely life i just feel so useless and a burden for everyone,3.0
7039,timwestwood i feel for you i washed my ipod last week ,2.0
7040,katies my formal dateee ,0.0
7041,lunatriste i know the feeling dollface hug  just dont give up i havent,2.0
7042,dyanx and i only bought a programme haha im saving money for my katy perry programme amp jonas brothers amp demi merchandise   so excited,0.0
7043,rt hrjobcentre strategy and commissioing manager  sexual healthmental healthld  rochford  legaljob description  this post https,1.0
7044,hashjs thanks for re tweeting so many times ,0.0
7045,i feel lost in a world where i dont feel like i belong been a while since i last truly felt my depression though it has always been there in the back of my mind and a few days ago it came back after having slowly crept its way to the front of my mind making me realise that i have been going on autopilot for the past yeari have been going through the motions acting like what people expect me to act like for the first time in almost a year i actually feel something and its sadness i dont know what to do anymore as people have certain expections of me expectations that i no longer am able to fulfill expectations that might drive me deeper into my depression therefore i have distanced myself from everybody seeing as they are in a different place in life than i am a place where i dont want to be or feel like i belong,3.0
7046,que depression ni que la chingada ese guey es borracho,2.0
7047,i agree with darkenedsol the last  hours were fucking awesome  elissa shutaks hair salon will not be opening anytime soon though,0.0
7048,sleeping  hrs a day without effort i can sleep  hrs a day i have realistic filmlike dreams and feel heavy when i wake up so i just want to go back to sleepsome days i do like todayi just slept  hours for no good reason when i have things to do i had a  hr rest last nightim medicated for depression and biopolar and adhdthe only time i dont feel tired is when i take my meds dexedrine basically like adderalli always end up taking more than i should because of the fatigue so i run out  days earlyi keep being told im at the highest daily dose so i cant get an increaseive had bloodwork done the panel is cleanno hormonal issues the weather here is sopping wet so activity outside is out of the questioni try to make my own food and eat eat healthy stuff my psychiatrist keeps saying i just have to tough it outim at my wits end,3.0
7049,fezwrecker have fun but be sure to come back or our feathers will be sad ,2.0
7050,full commodore  emulator rejected from app store httpbitlywaluu  bugger id been waiting a long time for this app ,2.0
7051,jordanknight hey jordantoday is  s bdaya message from her fave guy would be awesome ,0.0
7052,mckinneykelsey yeah shes older than you were when i met you guys ,0.0
7053,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
7054,survey for college on exercise and mental health hello i am conducting a survey for a research paper i am writing for college on the effects of exercise on battling depression and anxiety it has been a struggle at times for me and i have found that running has helped immensely there have been studies done on this before but the results have been inconclusive  i would greatly appreciate if you could take two minutes to complete the survey the link is thank you for your time,3.0
7055,donniewahlberg im sad tonight cause now im going alone on fridayso im just here for another twug ,2.0
7056,losing time for hobbies  drawing and music tldr im slowly losing the mental energy to practice my hobbies the more work i put into life the harder it becomes so do i need to learn efficiencyabstractthe problem appears to be multifaceted but the effect is singular for all intents and purposes im doing better slow work but positive is the direction i am going and i know i should feel proud of that but i feel with each new mile stone regardless of how challenging or easy the next milestone is it feels emotionally harder to do than the last but ive always attempted to push through and that is where my problem seems to lie the harder i work the more time and energy i put into making my life better and ironically in doing so i no longer have time for myself or when i do i am far too tired to do anything i enjoy and for a passionate artist thats terrible i technically have the time to do what i want but every time i do i am just so exhausted from the day regardless of how much work ive done that i simply cannot do what i love academiamy grades are dropping again but any time i put in the work to make them rise nearly all my fun time dries up some compromises are to be expected of course but when i can go from two hours daily plus the weekend to draw or have fun all the way down to one hour no weekends it seems extreme but it feels a little too late to try to switch to an easier or more enjoyable major when another failed class means dismissal from the collegelife skillsi finally got myself a doctor i seem to be working from the top down when it comes to taking care of myself which is aggravating especially when each subsequent thing was more difficult than the last before the doctor was the orthodontist and now i have to get a new dentist which should be easier but ive already encountered long wait times on the phone irritating receptionists and an ever fading patience with people about the simplest things this should mean more time for me but theres always another thing to tackle like more hygiene better diet such and such what have i foundmore time is bliss when i get more time to do things i seem to flourish i have noticed time and again that that is true but life doesnt let me have it i have super quick deadlines weekly for big projects daily homework weekend homework jobs want you to be hyper snappy when responding to things and refuse to explain further what they demand and people working are ushering you along simply trying to get to the next customer risking losing what i needed in the first place   yet over the summer its a different story after the first week i am lazy and depressed sure but after the silence settles and when the stress of needing to  get stuff done i slowly become productive again third week ive picked running up again fourth my eating is better fifth i am drawing again six just put in job applications seventh are the interviews eight i am sleeping better so on until i live immaculately and then school starts and it all crumbles away conclusion  maybe i just seek to vent wholeheartedly and ive consulted therapists people and various other platforms attempting to find a solution but the only thing i have learned from outside is that normal advice never works for me though advice tailored to experience usually holds something useful and i always cling to that i hope after writing this i do feel a little better and i also hope that the discussion enables me to keep trying and keep improving myself so lastly should i post this on rgettingoverit ,3.0
7057,bluebirdbanter why do you think houston gave up on him they already knew what they had on another note pretty ,1.0
7058,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
7059,muttmoxie sorry to hear about your great aunt ,2.0
7060,markooakes yellow day lilys  from giant lol,0.0
7061, no no no it wasnt metwas the kids honest  ,0.0
7062,taehyung you looked so sad ive felt it and i knew deep down that something happened made you broken i kept telling ,0.0
7063,leaving work ,0.0
7064,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
7065,double expresso shots dont do shit to me anymore  i have high tolerance for coffee now im turning into asha,2.0
7066,awww i lost a follower over night  heartbroken      ,2.0
7067,starting my dental school applications and my anxiety is through the roof,2.0
7068,my ubertwitter still isnt working  no updates r there any other twttr bb programs,2.0
7069,hockeyvampiress they lost in detroit    ,2.0
7070,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
7071,good day pussy got fucked at lunch ass got fucked before gym work out dinner trip to bookstore and coffee shop played with puppy ,0.0
7072,mileycyrus hey miley please please reply to me  itll be such a honor ,0.0
7073,mreeuh not sure  what you got going this week were going to the jam session tomorrow at the loft,0.0
7074,lilygreenwood no i missed that toenail keyring thoyum ,2.0
7075,me hearing bout what happened made me sadbut please show so much respect to himwe all love him so much 💜also ple httpstcozsglucmdny,0.0
7076,oops i meant quotwearquotgotta watch my grammar ,0.0
7077,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
7078,vivka whee ill make sure to  networking is the new oxygen,0.0
7079,exploring the   hey guys i am helping to test a measure for depression to see if it   measures depression like it is supposed to if you could take this survey it can help many people in determining the effectiveness of the  and tests made from it this survey will take about  minutes to do and there are no wrong answers thank you,3.0
7080,talkin smack from around tha way gotta put these chicken heads up they place ,0.0
7081,tonight has been horrible with my anxiety being through the roof,2.0
7082,so how many of you have been sad and lost every friday with no new cider guide newsletters for the foreseeable fut ,2.0
7083,sometimes i look through photo galleries of my citys gun stores and look longingly at the selection of handguns if only i had a car death is so close and yet so far away,3.0
7084,i finally told someone well i didnt exactly do it willingly but whatever my parents have been bugging me to see my final grades but i didnt show them because i failed all but  class because of depression but today my parents forced me to show them they saw the grades and i finally told them that ive been depressed they seem supportive so far and are going to get me some help and maybe medication if need be im going to be transferring to a community college  minutes away so i can live at home to start healing while still going to school i also learned that depression runs in my family so theres that anyway i think this is a good step and i just wanted to share i know its hard to tell someone and i probably wouldnt have if she didnt force me to but its worth it thanks for reading ,3.0
7085,pb started on channel  i knw the ending scofield died at the very end  thats wrap up pb,2.0
7086,iijellyy who makes you sad you should tell me,2.0
7087,tankstudio   me too     but ive perked up first tuesday bookclub yay,2.0
7088,works super busy unemployed please stop calling me ,0.0
7089,nxnefest well be blogging about all the cool sht  nxne  like our supersecret music showcasefilmshoot  ,0.0
7090,back is in pain     days in a row now,2.0
7091,i got yummy as pancakes this morningwow they were goodwish i got moreonly got  ,2.0
7092,do you ever feel sad for absolutely no reason i am constantly in the state in and out of my sadness without reason there is this very heavy feeling pulling my chest down sometimes i even feel are these feelings fake because i wanted attention maybe i can just shake it away and it will be gone,3.0
7093, we got married when we were  too ,0.0
7094,never wants to get out of bed i want to sleep for ever ,2.0
7095,hlooman    error on your website as an asidenice place kelowna used to live down the road in penticton myself ,0.0
7096, late to church again,2.0
7097, huggggggggggggggggg so proud of my new otalia recruit ,0.0
7098,i actually peaked in high school amp now i hate myself in high school everyone talked to me i was one of the popular kids jocks introverts girls all used to talk amp like being around me now ive moved across the country amp ive never felt so alone for the past  years i try to make friends in my community college but theyre always busy or say sure but it never happens i try to use tinder but no girl ever takes me seriously i try to work on myself but i still feel a hole inside of me playing xbox online with my old friends is the only thing that brings me slight happiness i wish i could go back but i am about to turn  amp have no real life friends i know i need to improve but its just so fucking hard when you feel worthless ps this is my first post here amp i feel ill be contributing more as time goes on,3.0
7099,plasticangelzz your alwats very prettywish i could see you in your dress ,2.0
7100,rt mindcharity mind asked  uk employees about their mental health and found people in public sector were more likely to take ,1.0
7101,datdudesuccess lmao we argued becuz we care im sowwry ,2.0
7102,got my car back from the panelbeater for the bump and scratches on the side but it smells funny now    urrgghhh,2.0
7103,magpiegemstones didnt see the site before but it looks great now im going shopping ,0.0
7104, yeaa im half way donee so i will b there im starving tho ,2.0
7105,rt jamapsych peripheral and cerebral forms of microvascular dysfunction are associated with latelife depression ,1.0
7106,going to lions choice then i get to go home and do lots of laundry ,0.0
7107,fabernachi nice but us ,2.0
7108,loads of laundry done   now onto foldingputting them away and cutting and pasting notecards together boo ,2.0
7109,i just want a friend i feel so alone im so tired of putting up this facade of being happy and being the problem solver for everyone,3.0
7110,watching snl from last nightjustin timberlake is the man  ,0.0
7111,so its my mum  dads   big party  no one  wiv  doh,2.0
7112,is going to do some wake boarding because of the nonwind ,2.0
7113,oh no the beaches are flooded and i can barely get home ,2.0
7114,bridgetem cold pizza for breakfast im jealous im having yogurt  ,2.0
7115,im so sad ,2.0
7116,greenigirl yay it was fun  buy cute stuff,0.0
7117,twitorriani listening since i got up at  ,0.0
7118,sinisterdexter gmorning mr morgendorffer ,0.0
7119,very long day and another one to come  but arleast its friday d,2.0
7120,im  just feeling very empty and upset at small things at times im just of no use im not good at studies nor athletic i never had any console like  nintendo etc it was all ok till last year now my friends have left and i have only one irl friend to talk to who is also busy at times my mom is angry at me because i spend time on the internet a lot  i just want to distract myself by trying to watch animeim soo messed up i dont know what to do i dont wish to study or talk to someone or even diei just get fits of inner anger at times i think someone to talk to will help me out,3.0
7121,jackarkham beef hotdogs ,2.0
7122,well another weekend at the beach done great surf  broken fin great people and great views  word  awsome ,0.0
7123,forced to be alive i just dont understand the anti suicide culture is super fucked up and i dont understand why everyone else on the planet forces you to be alive because death makes them uncomfortable if their was a governments assisted suicide lab i would sign up in a heartbeat why am i forced to live for the enjoymentslavery of others theres no point in living work  hours a week to barely make  to give a family a horrible life of low income trash and repeat the cycle of poverty i should be able to killmyslef without causing a massive amount of distress to my mother its so fucked up the way society paints suicide as negative because i feel hundreds of thousands of people would come out to die if it was socially acceptable why do i have to keep going,3.0
7124,feeling great for once then it all crashed after a night out drinking and taking cocaine only tried it  times before so im not really used to how it affects me with my friends i end up talking and kissing with a cute girl im normally not very good at talking with girls because of low self esteem i woke up with a feeling of happiness for once in a very long time i could not stop smiling i was just wandering the streets listening to music no hangover or regrets  as i usually get it must have been at least  years ago i felt this true feeling of joy i was motivated to improve myself and while talking to my friend on the phone i was actually crying tears of joy it was wonderful for the  hours it lasted after i woke up it was probably the mix of alcohol and cocaine still in my system but i didnt feel this way last night now everything back at my normal state which is feeling like shit sadness and hopelessness regrets and racing overwhelming thoughts that glimpse of hope it sparked in me was even worse then not feeling great  because it showed me what it was like to be happy i had forgotten was it was like now im setting here home alone exhausted by negative thoughts and flashbacks the girl hasnt accepted my friend request and is probably not going to do it even though she did it herself on my phone which is a same because i  really liked her if anyone is reading my rant then thank you ,3.0
7125, haha i cant wait till the party when i get to wear the dress ,0.0
7126,how do i stop caring like now i need to know how to just stop caring if i cant figure it soon then im going to have to kill myself,3.0
7127,so off really  cu later ,0.0
7128,sometimes i feel like all that i do is brush out handicapped parking signs ,2.0
7129,stacijshelton you should getaway too ,0.0
7130, such an innocent statementand i took it to a place it was not intended to go ,0.0
7131,vincepancucci yess  i knew it was molly,2.0
7132,missing meshel ash amp kip the others just arent as goodsorry ,2.0
7133,  still getting this strange urge anyone bored yet im certainly not  apprentice,0.0
7134,essay blah well im actually on my third body paragraph its pretty easy to write yayyy ,0.0
7135,im more lost now than i have been in a very long time short summary almost  years married to my wife most of which has had a ton of ups and downs im a stay at home dad and also work a full time job from home  i gave up my degree amp job in my field so that my wife could go back to school to go in a field that she enjoys her course was a condensed course  years worth of material in  years our relationship was basically on hold throughout her entire schooling now over a year after she finished our relationship is still virtually non existent no matter how much ive tried to make her understandsee that we need help i tried to ask her a few times for us to go to counselling she never would give me an answer i asked for the fourth time last night and she said no theres virtually no mens support group or mens support out there unlike women i am going to see my therapist this week but i cant afford to do that nearly as much as i need to i feel so lost alone and unappreciated trying hard to keep positive about everything i have that i should be grateful its not working,3.0
7136,shaantastic its ugly outside tmrw raining it was like this last yr we thought it was gonna rain ,2.0
7137,how to end the pain peacefully ive been trying find out for months now even when i dont admit it i want to end the pain how can i do it so o can leave my body intact i want to have my body be on my bed with my suicide note in my hands how can i do this,3.0
7138,katmcgraw awwww thank u so much i need it ,2.0
7139,audiobooth  the batch upload button is broken on spush ,2.0
7140, mornin sweetie no im not but last  yrs i go twice a year but im georiga born ,0.0
7141,ladydelphina thanks for having faith in me ,0.0
7142,how do you make it stop im losing my mind being sober drives me mad living life while being of the wagon drives me insane i need this to stop why do i feel perpetually suicidal why do i miss her so much when there are plenty of girls who want my love why does her love mean the most why are love and drugs the only things that drive me to be successful why is love the only thing that drives me to be healthy how do i make it stop,3.0
7143,mmrothenberg are you taking your vitamins ,0.0
7144,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
7145,hmmdont know whether its going to rain today or not ,2.0
7146,matchesmalone yes exactly but they dont think of the consequences like us humans  up theremains ,2.0
7147,beckers ive been to longleat it is fantastic except i got lost in a maze ,2.0
7148,briardesert you hate mondays and deron williams anything you dont hate  have a great day,0.0
7149,chatting ,0.0
7150,is happy to b home from girls camp but really sad also ,2.0
7151,does anyone else get bad skin when they start to go under ive only noticed it the last two times that ive gone back under and i know that this is probably such a small issue in the grand scheme of being depressed but is there any advice on helping clear up skinitd be nice to be able to fix at least some part of me i wash my sheetstowel and pillow cover every week or two ,3.0
7152,is tired but happy no hockey practice today  ,2.0
7153,spookyjenb it is a strike unless the ump has a wandering eye then who knows what call he will make ,2.0
7154,now myspace and hotmail both wont work ,2.0
7155,my dad hates me my dad doesnt believe in depression he thinks im faking it and getting the easy way out of life he has broken all my gaming computer stuff one time and didnt care he thinks thats my problem but what he doesnt know is thats the only thing keeping me from blowing my brains out idk what do to anymore i want to end it all honeslty im probably going to end up doing it hes the one causing my depression and he doesnt believe depression is real,3.0
7156,sprigofsage it hasnt happened yet i stare into a corner in my office now and theres no hotties in this office ,2.0
7157,aleishaelaine better than the boeckman night we had  ,2.0
7158, aus loose first wkt on second ball   against wi ,0.0
7159,i feel every one of my friends hate me i also hate myself more than i ever hated anyone else and i know thats probably the cause but i dont think i can help iti live in serbia and last summer i met this girl from ukraine online we quickly became friends and we could relate to each others struggles and memes not a long time ago we stopped chatting and voice chatting as often and for some reason i am convinced she hates me since then i always saw myself as an annoying friend but now i feel that i am actually annoying as a person and that everyone hates me that girl is just an example this leads to me being paranoid and actually annoying and i really do love her i hope she still kinda likes me and i know she wouldnt go this far in a friendship with a random guy from the internet btw i am  and i hate labeling myself as depressed or anxious or mentally ill and i dont wanna catch attention i just need help before i start doing some worse things,3.0
7160,anishamaiza owhso sweethow i wish ive met it before ,0.0
7161,i dont have followers i have friends ,0.0
7162,ahhhh just updated my picture why isnt it showing ,2.0
7163,tried to seek help and feeling more discouraged than ever ive had depression and anxiety for about  years now i am in my first year of university and am living away from home everything is so much tougher than before everything hurts i cant stop crying in the fall i opted out of the student insurance plan i didnt think i would use it and i needed every penny i could get but i realized shortly after opting out that i really wanted to fix my problems but i didnt want to use my parents insurance because i dont want them to know about this also because they are traditional and asian and dont quite believe in depression or anxiety this doesnt upset me as i also thought my conditions were fake and just selfish thinking for years so i get where they are coming from when paying my tuition i saw that i was getting charged for the student health plan per term so i was thinking that i could go back on the student health insurance plan in the winter termtoday i took a huge step forward and contacted my universitys health centre for personal counselling i got an appointment later today and i discussed my options for longterm counselling with the doctor i left feeling motivated to get better and i thought things were finally going to start turning aroundhowever i found out that once i opted out of the student insurance in the fall it opted me out for the entire school year now i feel awful again i feel hopeless and i dont know what to do i was on antidepressants a couple years ago but they butchered my memory and i really did not enjoy being on them i have tried to get better for so long and now i feel like i have no other option but to suffer forever i cant stop crying i cant do anything i just want to lie in bed all day i started putting up sticky notes on reasons to live and i only have threei know i wont kill myself but i really wish i could die without consequences,3.0
7164,this world needs miles of smiles ,0.0
7165,off to work not feeling it not at all  had the worst day yesterday and not looking forward to get yelled at again today,2.0
7166,relaxkatie laughingpanda thank you for coming to my party i am lucky to have friends like you thank you  lets not wait to do it again,0.0
7167,erizzle wow  that makes me so sad ,2.0
7168,noisydogstudio no he hasnt i feel so bad for him since cassie died ,2.0
7169,overwhelming feelings of being so fucking inadequate i feel like theres a huge hole in my body like its completely open and see through i cant breathe when i feel this i just want to break down and cry so much i just want to die i hate feeling this im so inadequate at life at being a mum i suck at everything i am not sure i can handle it anymore i finally opened myself up to this guy and allowed myself to believe in him and this new relationship but he broke up with me as he said he just couldnt go from being in a  year relationship to being single for  months then to being in a relationship again i think he has some self growing to do i completely understand what he is saying but im broken from it i just cant pull myself together i just cant shake this feeling of being such a shit cunt of a person like no one will ever love me unconditionally and it fucking hurts ,3.0
7170,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
7171,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
7172,spending my entire morning listening to regina spektor happy times ,0.0
7173,gailic   you were right all along ,0.0
7174,viirak yeah pretty sad about that i get out of traffic jam around  pm and drop my wife home it almost  pm ,2.0
7175,my mom left a tab in the browser that said quotbuying a condomquot amp i was like wtf turned out to be quotcondominiumquot just thought id share ,0.0
7176,at guu with dan amp denn ,0.0
7177, sending you a hello  ,0.0
7178,boolicious llemongrass thanks for the tip called n got myself a big fish ,0.0
7179,lakerr gammeee  yay i painted my face purple and yellow for pau gasol ,0.0
7180,imma arrive late to skool thanks to my brother amp mother ,2.0
7181,paulettejaxton you should have gotten samsonite they do all the heavy lifting for you ,0.0
7182,arguing with my mother about why i dont need a wedding cake despite it being my day it would appear i am losing ,2.0
7183,rt theuniversefact cuddling is a form of antidepressant which can be used to alleviate mood disorders such as major depression and anxi,1.0
7184,heyyboo yaaay and outdoors  happppy birthday ,0.0
7185, coming up soon i get along with leos but relationships never work cause they can never commitflaky ,2.0
7186, well we do have big bro now lol im out watching the footy do have the trusty iphone so there will be the sporadic reply ,0.0
7187,i was starting to feel hopeful a company i applied a job for made it seem like i got the job they requested all my documents so they would write up a contract they invited me to come in today to meet the team but when i went i was met with another surprise interview later i found out by email they didnt want me anymore i dont understand because everything was going welli dont know what im going to do with my life im barely surviving with the money i have left and the government wont support me really thought i was needed but this only confirms how useless i am sorry had to share with someone thanks if you read,3.0
7188,mechiel no i was drinking at the minds with some mates next time send me a tweet and ill join ya ,0.0
7189, day work week  then off to seattle and vancouver,0.0
7190,going to wash my teeth hands feet face then of to bed   byeeeeee tweeeeeeets ,0.0
7191,redjungle usually this means your testing process is bugged ,0.0
7192,quothomie this shit is basic welcome to graduationquot listening to kanyes quotgraduationquot cd ,0.0
7193,a girl who has depression and i like each other but she is too insecure to let me closer how can i be not an insensitive ss and be understanding with her so for more than half a year ive been knowing this wellfriend of mine and pretty soon we began talking and she opened up about having a pretty bad case of depression because of personal things i wouldnt include without her permissioni really like her and we communicate a lot mostly about more personal stuff and sometimes we get flirty but then she immediately shuts me out which is totally okay and understandable but i want to know if i am being hurtful in some way or is it just such a slow processby this point you probably can tell that i cant really tell what to do or precisely what im talking about i just came asking to the people i think know the most about this to forego more of the trivial questions yes she certainly has depression which she was treated with but did not accept medication and i am only asking because i want to see her a bit better and i absolutely dont think i have any authority in this questioni do not want to go to stupid youtube videos or this type of cliché stuff because it oversimplifies mental illness i really just would be happy if someone could help me in the commentsthank you,3.0
7194,i hate feeling sad amp not knowing whats wrong,2.0
7195,getting for work ,2.0
7196,its really hot outside but ive to learn for my testweek ,2.0
7197,okay so im pretty much pumped only a few hours   ,0.0
7198,rt  such a gorgeous and strong woman ,0.0
7199,melbhave lol who you callin a rat ,0.0
7200,i loved alton towers  i went on oblivion nemesis air rita twice  and on all the other rides  there for  hours,0.0
7201,posting because i feel hopeless long story short i was raped in october of  and my depression has been really bad ever since they hospitalized me in may of  and i finally started receiving help for my depression problem is none of the medicines we have tried are working and with each one i lose more and more hope that i will ever be happy again has anyone else felt like this if so what did you do ,3.0
7202,sussed a symphonycms problem thats been bugging me for weeks uploadify extension is now a reality  ,0.0
7203,just losing the will for anything things have been extremely hard for a while now and im slowly losing the will to go on i havent really got anyone to talk to anymore since someone i used to date basically ghosted me thats a whole other story and something im trying to get over i get abandoned by pretty much everyone in my life and most of the time its not even my fault but i cant help thinking that im just not worthy of being loved i feel like im literally just getting through everyday so people think im fine but im really not i relapsed into cutting again as this might sound weird but its the only way i can cope with how much it hurts inside i feel like i should be happy and looking forward to life but in reality ive stopped caring i feel numb most of the time its like this is me coming to terms with the fact that im not in control at all of my life something else controls me and wants to make me suffer i probably deserve it though im being forced to look through a glass house burning inside watching things i love fall apart and its the sick joke of this person controlling my reality,3.0
7204,brushing my teeth then hitting the sack  im very tired havent been able to sleep well lately ,2.0
7205,this is my first time im freaking out very badly i just got blocked by a friend when i was asking for help i did everything he said to get a weighted blanket try happy thoughts calming teas talk to a therapist etc and he just blocked mebut thats not the real issue the real issue is now i have no one else ive recently started feeling this way my appointment is scheduled a month out i dont know what to do ive never been this bad before ryan said he thought i was depressed but he also blocked me the same daywhile im asking for help to get out of iti dont know what to do is this what its likeyou try to get help and ppl just blow you off how are you supposed to make it to your appointment an entire month out if you feel so alone,3.0
7206,wahooooooo im home with lucy  shes just chewing away on a cheweez too cute,0.0
7207, hehe or it was a hint for you about a xmas pressy ,0.0
7208,goodeve  httpplurkcompxwwad,0.0
7209,rt femitheist mens suicide prevention campaignsuicide stayalive mentalhealthdepression health ,1.0
7210,rt saratmd in light of recent high profile suicides the impact of media reporting is an important consideration suicide contagion can b,0.0
7211,netnutt c also last tweet   pics,0.0
7212,working at the moment  going to england in a couple of weeks cant wait going to be so much fun ,0.0
7213,saravfc haha who knowsill think of something ,0.0
7214,ah ah ah ah stayin alive ill be driving in the car lately and find myself in such a bitter mood over no one particular thing it feels like im irritated upset hopeless angry and bored at the same time and this feeling takes over a lot now when i try to go about life normally i find myself wondering how normal people are so okay with the mundane what fuels people to go on every day and get to enjoy life or find happiness in the simplest things and why was i not programmed to be blissfully complacent nothing in the world makes me truly happy and i simply feel that theres nothing that could when i try to picture the future i just see distant vague flashes of insignificant chronological events that lead to me finally getting the fuck out of here my thoughts on this are endless but i cant seem to ever pick out one and go with it i know i cant be the only one who feels like no matter what happens between now and the day i die well it just doesnt matter i could get married and have kids get a nice car and a career o enjoy im actually working toward all this now thats good right at least go with the motions make my family think im a normal functioning human being with aspirations and what not but its come to the front of my mind now that i will always be bored and dissatsfied over nothing and everything at the same time i sit in my car alone and this one fucked up little thought pops up into my head what if it could just end without anyone knowing i wanted it to all along what if i was driving and just got rammed unexpectedly by a huge semi or something big enough to take me out on impact happens often enough people drive right into fatal car wrecks unaware of their impending death sometimes i feel the most hopeful thinking that this could happen to me its almost a fantasy when im feeling particularly down just bam never saw it coming dead before i felt anything i know i wont be so lucky now all i have to do is figure out how the fuck to find happiness in the simple things when i lowkey wanna die ps keep yourself alive by queen is playing in the background as i wrap up this tiny depressing novel ,3.0
7215,selfcare and depression how do you manage to take care of yourself during a depressive episode what are the things which make you feel a bit less worse,3.0
7216,how to feel okay with spending time with myself i seem to get so anxious when i am not out doing something or with my boyfriend i just dont like being alone and often get into negative loop cycles how do i spend time alone and not struggle ,3.0
7217,is this what being not depressed or anxious is like no its what recovery is like does anyone else have those moments where they just fall in love with being alive like maybe youre in art class with soft music and you realize that this peaceful feeling is a part of life that you love and you want to just keep forever and there are so many other parts of life too that are so wonderful and maybe existing isnt so bad after allis this what being not depressed or anxious is likeno this is what recovery is like this is what being depressed and anxious is like and its why we stay because even when were sure this is it this is the last day we can put up with it this is the last hour the last second  some part of us remembers these moments and thinks  what if tomorrow has one of them i used to joke i have bad days and worse days i almost never do well i feel like i keep barely a nose above the waterbut in those rare rare rare seconds where the waves stop for one second and i catch sight of something other than dark i see it the way a rose looks after a rain how my mother smiles when she knows its my favorite meal thats cooking my best friend looking over his shoulder to flip me off again the bike i rode at  and crashed at  a little bug struggling with five little legs  but walking walkingrecovery isnt smashing into these moments and realizing its finally happened what those people said is true and it all gets better recovery is remembering those moments and deciding  i want them back its looking for them sometimes it takes hours sometimes days sometimes months without any sight of them but you look you search even when youre too tired to keep your eyes open because you promised yourself  tomorrow tomorrow will be the day we find one a four leaf clover we know is our sign the rainbow the wishing well  the way outand when you find one they get easier four leaf clovers always grow in the same patch after all and your eyes get sharper you figure out what makes any small part of you happy you figure out that you might not be happy but its good enough to stick around to watch the way oil looks in puddles and how she always cries at new years and it might not be blisteringly soulcrushingly happy in the way other people seem to feel things  in that mindnumbing wordless joy that shines in them that glow im so envious of that effortlessness  but it will be like this just quiet a moment of rest of the shouts dimming for a minute a peaceits easy to say im depressed ill never be happy maybe i hope not because im still looking and in these moments ive rediscovered that i am funny that i like the color pink that kittens and puppies never fail me in these moments im still depressed still me still fighting an illness that wants to end me but im fighting i seek these moments in every second i get because im here and breathing and after all this im going to be pissed if this gets the better of me maybe ill never figure out how to feel effortless and free but i know that i feel love when the music is blaring and my hands are out the window and i feel love somewhere on the beach and i feel love watching salamanders wake up in the mornings its not other peoples love its faroff and its distant and it might not be normal but its goddamn important to me i didnt wake up better i forced better to come fight me ive been walking towards recovery since i was   years later and no im not cured but i see a lot more of these moments or maybe they were always there and only now am i realizing what i got in front of meand when its been bad again when im not even breathing when its been months since i felt anything when the stress is too much and the sky is dark and the moon in me has fallen silent i say hang on tomorrow might be the day we find it tomorrow might be worth the fightthe best part about this eventually im right ,3.0
7218,sooo time for the kitcheni will report of my success if   old family recipehmm well see  thxstraight from the englandstore,0.0
7219,wedding plans with justin eric and tatiana for the masanquemom wedding ,0.0
7220,deleting social media does deleting social media help with anxiety amp depression  lately ive been addicted to social media facebook and instagram to be exact i get tons of likes on facebook and attention and ive become addicted to it almost feels like a high in some sense also been comparing my life to others on social media which makes me instantly depressed because i feel like im not doing enough or what i should be doing with my life im  btw so yea does taking a break from social media help ,3.0
7221,goldenafternoon i know the preview was so funny poor woody sometimes i really dislike buzz ,0.0
7222,next gig bleadon festival  june think tickets all gone ,2.0
7223,time to do laundry   quotclothes wash yourselvesquotno movement  they obviously dont know how to take an order,2.0
7224,im off to go clean out an atticwoo hooarent you all jealous ,0.0
7225,the torture of driving school begins lol  why do they have class so early in the morning during my summer,2.0
7226,things were bad before but now i am falling apart i have never felt as suicidal as i do now first let me say that ive already decided that at least for now i dont plan to kill myself the only reason being that i cant do that to my mom or sisters so for as long as theyre alive i wont do iti have lost everything my job my apartment my independence and freedom thats true for most of us seeing how evil and selfish people can be in this world while facing a global pandemic makes me not want to be on this planet anymore i dont see the goddamn point one of my sisters is in the nyc area and she and her boyfriend are living together yesterday i found out that he has a fever and other symptoms she has asthma and an autoimmune disorder i love her so much and im so terrified for her when i was sobbing about this i texted my partner who ive been with for a long time and known for  years and he was barely supportive no phone call no oh my god im so sorry what can i do to help you right now shes young i hope she gets through this ill be here for you so weve been in a fight about this he stopped texting me back and responding to me hes never done this i have a hole in my heart ive only gotten out of bed to smoke weed go to the bathroom and force myself to eat i am broken,3.0
7227,listening to poets of the fall for the first time i like ,0.0
7228,at school ugh i wanna go home ,2.0
7229,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
7230,spreiki were on the   heading down  yeovil way  but there  are other options at  the approaching  roundabout ,0.0
7231,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
7232,rochellewiseman what you planning on getting i need a new one have fun ,0.0
7233,i hate waking up early   i dont want to serve ppl coffee when id rather b asleep,2.0
7234,friend so my friend is being extremely secretive and ever time i ask him about it he would say something like dont worry about it i asked him to day and he said he wasnt doing well and i asked whats up he said he didnt want to talk about it and i wanted him to tell me what was wrong he didnt want to so i said you need to talk about it he said no so i told him to promise me that he wouldnt do anything he didnt want to then stopped responding was i being too forward and should i back off,3.0
7235,creativejordan aww yay he looks so happy to be with you guys ,0.0
7236,my neighbor cowork aka friend are also twitterring  lol lets welcom milton,0.0
7237,do you feel depressed i dont know really what i feel after watching movies like superbad  things i hate about you ferris buellers day off the breakfast club perks of being a wallflower cheats good boys project almanac  earth to echo boyhood i dont know something about growing up makes me sad can anyone tell me why is that,3.0
7238,anyone else feel like they just need to be given the time of day i dont know how to articulate what im feeling but i feel as if i were given the time of day i could be so much better off with relationships with friends with work with just about anything it feels like im always left alone and as much as i say i just want to be left alone i know its a lie i moved  hours from home a couple months ago for a new job and i just straight up have nobody to talk to no friends no romantic interests nothing its really draining being alone all the time,3.0
7239,herrea yeah no kidding ,0.0
7240,fucking heart ,2.0
7241,good morning twitter bugs im off to work ,0.0
7242,ugh silly rain delay it will be a long night ,2.0
7243,i love kenya starbucks coffee its sooo good im gonna have to brew some more mine has gone cold ,2.0
7244,jawar usually every three months or so although it has been  times already this year ,0.0
7245,nabih nothing much  hari ani aku off so dirumah saja,0.0
7246,rt  statistically fatherless children are much more likely to live in poverty commit crime drop out of school end up in prison,1.0
7247,in san jose   i say lock them up  sad dems stoop so low 👎   seanhannity rudygiuliani devinnunesrealdonaldtrump ,2.0
7248,ahhhhh its a cool and crisp morning ,0.0
7249,things to do on your own when you have no friends all of my friendships have dropped off in the past few months for various reasons i have a boyfriend who i consider my best friend but he needs a lot of alone time so most weekends im by myself except for when i see him on sundays im at a loss for what to do with myself usually i just smoke weed and play video games or mope around i feel weird doing stuff by myself but im tired of sitting around my apartment and hiding from my roommates any tips of stuff to do by yourself that makes it not feel so bad,3.0
7250,it sucks that none of the big uk banks have direct connect ability for a normal home user and all of their internet banking sites suck ,2.0
7251,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
7252,misstoriblack ohhhh  you should know its already thursday where im at so from the future i can promise you a better tomorrow,2.0
7253,i dont know what im trying to say im sitting in bed trying to stand up and start my day i have things to do things that will help me for some reason i keep telling myself its not worth it though nothing i do will matter its all a story im convincing myself of i will either fail or succeed but either way it wont change anything because they were only goals i convinced myself were important i dont know how to sustain a mentality like this i keep asking myself the question if theres something wrong with the way im thinking or is the world and existence and my existence really that pointless feels like a part im being forced to play that i never had a choice in and it makes me mad at the world and then mad at myself for being mad because in the end i know anger is stupid and solves nothing so i guess ill keep playing along i dont really know what im doing and im pretty sure im doing most of it wrong but theres not many other options like the title says i dont know what im trying to say or what im trying to accomplish with this post all i know is that right now im alone with these thoughts and by putting them out there someone else might share them with me and maybe somehow that means something probably not but itd just be cool to know im not the only one having these kinds of mornings,3.0
7254,cassowary cant argue with that logic  ooo,0.0
7255,just got back from natalies doc appt  now were just hanging out watching twilight,0.0
7256,wow i am really blessed with the opportunity to do sound at lac    i love it what a awesome jumpstart into my carreer,0.0
7257, they used to many moons ago ,2.0
7258,number  sounds cool  agree number  candidate the only women always refused to handshake refused forgot or nervous lol,0.0
7259,candicekei lol im staying at my aunts house ,2.0
7260,callister ,2.0
7261,shoot i forgot to bring lunch ,2.0
7262,my job is destroying me i work at a church something that ive always wanted to do faith is extremely important to me and ive wanted nothing more than to have a job in church not even pastoring just being in the building feeling like i have some sort of purpose that being said my job is killing me i feel like im not valued by any of my coworkers i feel like i have invalid input on everything i feel like im not supported or empowered to succeed at anythingthe hours i work feel pointless and its as if im just collecting a paycheck for existing within a certain space for an amount of time i want to do something with my life i want to be creative make things impact peoples lives and create genuine unreligious good in the world not metaphorically drown for  hours a week,3.0
7263,got back from cyprus yesterday was fairly decent  very hot nice beach nice ass nice pubs nice pool tables horrible players,0.0
7264,iphone is hosed reboots often hang and all nonbuiltin apps crash immediately restore time ,2.0
7265,rt ihateshinigami today is gonna be one long depression nap,2.0
7266,is so tired ive walked  kilometres today ,2.0
7267,my boobs dont fit in my new bikini theyre too big  haha how often do you hear someone complaining about big boobies they suck,2.0
7268,starting the gargoyle by andrew davidson  while waiting for proof edits,0.0
7269,maureenhasinoff dont be jealous i didnt get as much as i wanted but the shopping continues today lol ,0.0
7270,im getting ready to go to worki dont want to go ,2.0
7271,getting a chocolate dipped cone from the mcdonalds in atlantic square cause the one near my house didnt have any ,2.0
7272,on my way to lifehouse  market commons yay ,0.0
7273,kshapland thats really hot your web designer is awesome ,0.0
7274,grfxguru and you sir are a true gentleman  lthugsgt,0.0
7275,jackie is here and monique is coming over soon ,0.0
7276,dezaraydawn seeyou needed to know about that event ,0.0
7277,wants to play guitar but i cant because the neck is messed up ,2.0
7278,transformers  shia why do you have to be  ,2.0
7279,i take online insults way too seriously when im faced with a snarky remark or direct insult i tend to take it way too hard i get that depressed feeling when i see stuff like that i really dont want to take it like that but i just cant seem to not feel that way im not sure if its just normal for people to feel this way or not,3.0
7280,libraries  i want to go to the museum for the egypt exhibit before it ends this weekendthought friday could be  extra awesome,2.0
7281,flaniganfarms dreary day today  but looking forward to spending time at the water park with the kids this summer if the weather looks up,2.0
7282,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs — dr joseph mercola mercola june  ,1.0
7283,google wave that looks to be the way forward that and tri bars and a wetsuit of course  open water swimms here we come,0.0
7284, you get national health care were stuck with free panties ,0.0
7285,i have no right to be feeling this way but i do and im embarrassed by it i  have a perfect life i have a very loving and supportive family who would do anything for me i have a loving boyfriend i have one solid friend im studying engineering im currently working as an intern and im earning moneyapart from that a lot of people find me attractive and i do have quite a lot of men interested in me im not saying that to brag my boyfriend and other guys always tell me how gorgeous they think i am i have such a perfect life i really do but i still feel so depressed i do appreciate my life and everyone in it but i just still feel so empty i just feel so unhappy i dont really like engineering but ive done it for a while now  it feels too late and too much of a waste to let go of im working as an intern and id frightens me that ill live the rest of my life like that ive been working fulltime and i get absolutely no enjoyment whatsoever my boyfriend doesnt understand how i feel he laughs when i tell him im really not feeling well  mentally he tells me i cant be feeling like that since i have such a great life i dont want to feel this way i dont deserve to feel this way but i do theres people who have it far worse than i do and it is embarrassing for me to be feeling this wayi dont know whats wrong with me i dont know why i feel this way ever since i lost my grandma  years ago nothing has been the same i was extremely depressed but i had gotten better i had gotten through that i was slowly picking myself up but now i just feel so depressed once again i have absolutely no confidence i am so insecure i genuinely hate myself and this is ruining all my relationships im now bad with my parents my boyfriend and my friends ive let it impact my studies negatively im ruining everything that i have going for me im genuinely so insecure  to the point where i dont feel like leaving my room to the point where i avoid looking at mirrors to the point where im letting it rule my life and my happiness i dont let myself find happiness because of my insecurities im so deeply insecure and selfconscious i want to seek help but i dont think i have any real problems i think i would be a laughing matter since my life is really great but i just cant help but feel so depressed and empty and lately ive just been feeling extremely suicidal these thoughts come and go my insecurities are just impacting my life i feel extremely confident at times but most times i do not want to leave my bedroom let alone my house  my insecurities are just getting worse and worse i just get these weird lets just call them episodes i get these weird episodes where it feels like negativity insecurity paranoia depression suicidal thoughts come pouring over and im left fighting with my thoughts it gets so exhausting and toxic and i cant help but leak this toxic gas to others around mei dont know what to do i want to be happy i want to let go of my insecurities i feel so bad for feeling this way people have it far worse than me i feel embarrassed i just feel so hopeless and depressed ,3.0
7286,been building a house all day installing insulation and now have glass particles all over me ,2.0
7287,derpesed hello i am very depresed anyone else can somebode give me adress of high building so i can jump,3.0
7288,a  young man wins it make this  year youngman feel good ,0.0
7289,quick nap dinner no work out facility here ,2.0
7290,medical withdrawal from college im getting the paperwork on monday to officially do a medical withdrawal for the semester im still a freshman but my mental illnesses are kicking my ass my therapist is on board with this but i have yet to tell my parents really not looking forward to them finding out especially because my dad told me before i started college that he thought i would drop out first semester due to a panic attack and in a way im proving him right ill be able to come back either in the fall or next spring from the withdrawal if i wait any longer than that id have to reapplyeven though i feel a tiny bit better about making the decision to withdraw before i completely bomb the semester or end up killing myself i still feel like everythings fake like im just making everything up and really i should be sucking it up and dealing with it but then ill spend an entire day inside without talking to anyone scared to text anyone in case they find me too needy or clingy or im just annoying themi think its time for me to recover from my anxietydepression and my school might say i have to do intensive outpatient before i can come back so ive been looking at some programs its going to be hell but i cant keep living like this im not even living at all  crying almost every day selfharming planning out my suicide refusing to do anything productive because i dont see the point dont really need a college degree when youre deadsorry this turned into a long jumbled mess,3.0
7291,dakubuu  fro gt other hair  i am too white and ginger to have a fro ,2.0
7292,garethcliff tres jealous i still have a whole  hours to go ,2.0
7293,wishing i was with shae at the beach today ,2.0
7294,rt piercyjackson dear anybody depression is not a choice,1.0
7295, i didnt think anyone caught that ,2.0
7296,my depression got back welcome back i guess ive been taking birth control pills and it screwed me so bad i cut myself i think of death and several ways to do it on daily basis i cant stop taking the birth control pills i take them not to sleep with someone im sick and the doc told me to take them its so tiring i dont wanna shower or look nice or anything all i want is peace of mind and i dont remember the last time i had that i miss enjoying stuff i wanna read a book but i just cant because all the thoughts comes and i start thinking of how worthless i am im in great pain and i dont have anyone i could rely on i dont trust people i have casual friends but i cant tell them anythingits really hard to be alive,3.0
7297,spankodelic bol a tomu do tam dal i forgot to be your lover by som dala medailu ale mal to nehat cele ,0.0
7298,i feel like everyone close to me is slow drifting away just a disclaimer i dont really know if im depressed but i didnt know where less to get this off my chest and i have been feeling depressed but idk if its gonna be long term thothis year i lost my girlfriend my  closest friends that dont live miles away and even the really good friends that live miles away seem to be really busy and not have a lot of time for me anymore i know theyre just busy and they still very much care about me but i cant help but feel like this is how stuff like this starts first you dont talk as much then you hang out less and before you know it you only text or talk on holidays and its feels like theres nothing i can do to stop it and ill just end up alone,3.0
7299,nightmares and bullies i have been bullied at school for many years until i finally went to college and my life got better it really did get betteri thought i had left it all behind but then i started having nightmares about the people that hurt me i have dreams about them where they are mocking me about my body my scars due to self harm and my life in general i can see them so clearly that it hurts usually i wake up in tears or really depressed cause i remember all the things they did to memy mother says that i was just  years old when that happened and i should have let it go by now im  years old but when i dream about them i feel like that  year old girl that didnt know how to defend herself from bullieswhat can i do to get over it i need the pain to stop,3.0
7300,trinawright and a very good morning ,0.0
7301,agrees with nastnova i could use a choc shake ,0.0
7302,why do i feel this ive been suicidal and depressed for the longest time at first i could control it and lately its taken over my life its all i think about and its fucking hell ive lost all emotion other than sadness and depression i dont want to do this anymore if this is what the rest of my life is gonna be like then i dont want to live this is my lowest point in life im so lonley and cant even keep my thoughts organized its a mess please help me,3.0
7303, minutes to do a complete cleaning of garfunkels litter box and the box is so big it uses a full  pound bag of litter ,2.0
7304,i think ive got swine flu ,2.0
7305,irenerencsi thank you we are safe and mum was calm ,0.0
7306,ill be  the swpool tomorrow ,0.0
7307,new album system should be up for sale as cd in  weeks   download will be a while longer,0.0
7308,i keep thinking its tuesday and my stupid msn has crashed ,2.0
7309,oliwhitetv anxiety,2.0
7310,dunno why but live skips kicks theyre there but i just cant hear them ,2.0
7311,traceydukes contd drinkingbut i really cooked ,2.0
7312,i cant buy quotlines vines and trying times  i dont have money ,2.0
7313,rt longguokr im crying sanggyun and donghan has to go their separate ways upon arriving at incheon and donghan called out hyung to gyu,2.0
7314,i havent felt this awful in a long time i recently quit my job because my depression has gotten to an all time low tried making it through the work day but couldnt i could barely talk it was an extremely stressful job but i probably shouldnt have left without notice like that luckily my old job said they will have me back so heres whats killing mei sat next to this girl who i got along with really well we would go to lunch together almost every day we talked all the time and we even hung out outside of work a couple times one time all we did was just talk for a couple hours straight it was a lot of fun and i always have such a good time with her she genuinely makes me happy and ive never met someone quite like her we just get along so well and were so similar ive never had so much chemistry with someone before so i guess you could say i like her a lothowever she has a boyfriend so ive been acting just as a friend but now after i just quit my job im afraid shes never going to talk to me again i just want her in my life still whether thats just as friends or more i can get over liking her but i could still really use someone like her in my life as a friend we texted briefly about me quitting and she said some people were asking if i was okay but other than that we havent texted since im just super afraid to lose her shes an amazing friend and im a little scared to text her because i feel like she hates me now and is just going to ignore meghost me a few people did that to me at another job that i quit in the past i might be overthinking things but i just cant stop worryingive been talking to a few friends about this and theyve been helpful but i still cant get this off my mind i havent felt this kind of pain since my breakup with my ex a couple years ago it hurts so fucking much i dont know what to do i cant get my mind off her its like this sickening feeling all over my body and it feels like the whole world hates me i am now crying multiple times a day and im someone who doesnt usually cry much and its like uncontrollable crying i cant stand it and on top of that this situation reminds me once again that ill likely never find someone who i like and who also likes me similar things have happened to me before and im sick of it the main reason i left was because the job itself was extremely stressful but at the same time ive been really suppressing feelings for her since im always around her so the combination of the stress of the job and me liking someone who has a boyfriend is what made me impulsively quit like that the pain is so bad that im likely going to see a therapist again didnt work out so well with the last one ive been thinking about killing myself and what would be the best method i just dont know if im ready yet theres no fucking reason for me to be here im a waste of space and clearly do not fit in hereis there anything that helps ease this kind of pain should i do anything i dont normally make these kind of posts but im hurting so much and i could use any advice or feedback ive been drinking heavily and consuming cannabis edibles heavily but its not helping and obviously isnt the best way to cope with things id appreciate any sort of feedback thank you for readingtldr  i quit my job because my depression got so bad and now im worried that my favorite coworker hates me and the depression has gotten so bad that the suicidal thoughts are back worse than before,3.0
7315,i cant feel i am so lost i cant cry im so out of touch with my feelings and i know it doesnt matter nothing does but it sucks,3.0
7316,kogenre is that why youre looking on the other side of the atlantic  cheecky grin,0.0
7317,rt nycfirstlady thank you to everyone at katespadeny for inviting me to todays teatime inspiration its more important than ever to en,0.0
7318,bbrriittttyy omg i looooooooooove nintendo  i have one lol i have loads of games except for zelda  loll,2.0
7319,maybe this is depression i hate my job so much that i constantly dream of getting hit by a bus or purposely burning my hand just so i have an excuse to take a sick day any time i clock in i literally check my clock every  and count the hours minutes and seconds to get out i have to work overnight shifts out schedule changes every month and its been hard because i am a morning person i feel tired and without energy all the timei have been crying and getting emotional over little thingsi even lash out on my boyfriend for no reason and i find myself in moods that i dont even understand ive cried at work and luckily no ones found out im tired of cryingnot having my family close makes things worse i also hate where i livei have been applying to other jobs but no one has called me back i feel like im overeating and nothing brings me joy ive tried the fakeittillyoumakeit attitude but i cant anymore i cant pretend i enjoy my work and its showingi feel like im wasting my best years ive considered many times killing myself but i cant do that to my mom nor my boyfriend  ,3.0
7320,   genflynn   siemprefidel  ,2.0
7321,carmenincalgary i did that too im so screwed for tomorrow ,0.0
7322,recession is when a neighbor loses his job depression is when you lose yoursronald reagan,2.0
7323,rt oraltwjnk depression ,2.0
7324,so this is kind of gross  i find attractive people on a website and theyre like fifteen i feel so disgusted with myself ,2.0
7325,rt lillseb they were likethis sad but after they saw each other they just shone again ,1.0
7326,followlucas lucas i love you  youre just so amazing amp good at life,0.0
7327,typical new year as always my new year started out great i felt loved and cute and happy but as the night goes on i feel more and more depressed i see all these seemingly content people happy in there lives and content with the so they have my life however seems to be in a constant spiral i get up and happy for a moment only to be back down and i dont know how to isolate my emotions from what i perceive others to be experiencing everyone just seems so happy in life i apologize im drunk now and really considering doing something drastic and just needed to vent sorry for grammar and spelling  im drunk and format im on mobile,3.0
7328,msquietshay lmfao you must have dudes texting u dat shit as a guy i pledge to never do thatagain ,2.0
7329,what is happening to my brain  depression for  years im  years old and i dont think ill pass exams i feel like theres something wrong withy brain i cant focus sometimes people are talking to me and i dont listen i forget everything my family thinks im on drugs ,3.0
7330,twitterpated ,0.0
7331,i havent had time to watch the season  first episode  but i missed the chance now my dvr is so full it probably erased it ,2.0
7332,am heading off with my girlies feel happy but extremely knackered ,0.0
7333,is havin a lil cuz with her wine ,0.0
7334,graduation in less than  hours definitely getting emotional glad to have my baby with me ,0.0
7335,islandpete so the island wont be available before easter i hoped it would be an easter present for the players ,2.0
7336,have to say iti love  listen  jchutchins read a story therei said itits like hes reading it just for me i feel specialthanx jc ,0.0
7337,what a lovely day but sadly im in a room with no windows studyin ,2.0
7338,jclayville  i feel your pain i once lived in an apt for  mos where the previous tenant had  cats burning eyestight lungs   gregg,2.0
7339,realized only i care and can change the outcome this isnt meant to criticize or deter anyone with depression who needs outside help but it just hit me recently  after years of having depression and being afraid of the outside world  that only i can change my future and face these fears ive spent tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours in therapy and reading self help books i yelled at my parents and behaved very strangely for the last couple of years possibly longer and am just generally an anxious person the biggest thing is as true as some of it might be i blamed my parents and circumstance for my issues the truth is the fault and blame are pointless anymore and the overthinking has to stop i only have one life and ive already wasted much of it with needless worrying and feeling bad about myselfgiven how off ive been i wonder if i have many good friends left my parents havent said anything but i feel awful for not being a better daughter they seem fine even with my behavior but i wish there were ways to make it up somehow to let people know im sorry that i care for them deeply and would like another chanceim sick of being sick and tired of letting the negativity win its a battle against my inner critic and im not going to let it win this time,3.0
7340, that being said i have mild social anxiety i know i yell a lot at events but i have to mentally prepare for it the night before,1.0
7341,i dumped the love of my life and im not happier i deserve to be miserable dont worry though im too much of a pussy to hurt myself cant even do that,3.0
7342, do a twit pic ,0.0
7343,my lappy has issues with the lan  subsequently i am now connected to the interwebs via   wtf,2.0
7344, mornin  good luck on your test today,0.0
7345,goodnight everyone im rocking my baby bear to sleep right now poor baby isnt feeling good ,2.0
7346, lmao sad when youve been rejected toooo many times,2.0
7347,todayys the day ppl new moon trailerrr  ,0.0
7348, and bekahloutaylor youre welcome ,0.0
7349,emiliodelgado seriously yay ill see you then ,0.0
7350,not a fan of the possibility of a missing plane with todays technology  it seems impossible for a plane to be quotmissingquot for so long ,2.0
7351,madasabrushshiv aww you should have and lucky you being able to be outside im stuck in studying ,2.0
7352,wdprescott i hope all goes well  not a fun day i am sure ,2.0
7353,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
7354,headed to the gym getting an early start on exercise ,0.0
7355,im thinking lion bars have declined in quality over recent years ,2.0
7356,just caught jsullivanmusic and her cotton commercial  nice ,0.0
7357,tedhill thats local news for you check the site tomorrow ,0.0
7358,caaaii where you road tripping ,0.0
7359,numb and empty i feel completely numb to the outside world internally i feel bone achingly sad lost and empty i have such a hard time focusing on anything my husband can be talking to me and i wont even notice because my mind is just blank i feel like such a failure im on meds i have a wonderful husband good paying job roof over my head and a loving family but i just want to disappear and save everyone from my existence what is wrong with me,3.0
7360,julesdc idk julesits pretty darned dark here now and dont leave for heavens sakes ,2.0
7361,jordanmeyer hey it stinks  i miss youuu,2.0
7362,my leg hurts ,2.0
7363,hating that everyones asleep   shopping later,2.0
7364,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
7365,still really sick ,2.0
7366,suddenly found that much of the code written over the past  days or so is junk  ,2.0
7367,my lesson is finally done for tomorrow morning i am looking forward to speaking to the high schoolers on dating ,0.0
7368, hours left ,2.0
7369,dam why i aint knoe this hoe was tryin the sis before we came  silly hoes stay on dck dhat dont want them  too funny,0.0
7370,is having trouble getting back to sleep ,2.0
7371,if off of work for four days in a row that means a lot of writing watching soaps amp farmtown ,0.0
7372,never enough for some reason i just never can make it in the corporate scene i always work hard but being there feels like i am suffocating and then ultimately i will be told i am not enoughi am never enough i have been told that in so many ways to the point i wonder if my life was a mistakei told my bf and he tried to comfort me but at the same time he admits he was getting texts from an ex he reached out to say hi great timing never enoughnever ever enough not smart enough pretty enough spiritual enough talented enoughmy life was a mistake,3.0
7373,getting up at  am tomorrow so i can go get the new jb cd first thing in the morning oh yeaaah ,0.0
7374,rt littlelvst it is so sad how rpfl has only become about sex or romantic plots what about something like two platonic friends going o,0.0
7375,trentshelton u do not love all of ur followers but u love having so many ,0.0
7376,meg you hyper again today remember cor wont be available today ,2.0
7377,officialtila you knowi was looking at ur drunk blog on youtubeyouve got some maaaad haters on therei got a laugh out of the video ,0.0
7378,he is so silly  ,0.0
7379,i feel trapped i have really overprotective and overbearing parents to the point where they want to protect me from anything bad because they love me and i get their sentiment i really do but then they monitor every time i leave the house and where i go and what im up to i have to be home before  im  yo doesnt that seem absurdits hard and it makes me not want to go outside at all and have fun with my friendsso because when i tell my parents all about it theyll go off because of one little bad thing which might not even be actually badit feels like they dont trust me to make my own critically thought decisions and they want to make it for me then they berate me for straying off the path they laid out for me even just a littleit feels so teenagery to say that i feel like im missing out but its been like this for over ten years now im  already please treat me like an adult and that i can think for myselfso what if i get hurt or make mistakes isnt that a good way to learn from experience all that youre doing is making me so damn afraid and paranoid of making mistakes being overly perfectionist is unhealthyi feel so so fucking trapped in this household and i just want to get away and be free of their grasp they keep smothering me with their love and its suffocating its too much i became a very introverted and reserved person because they didnt want me going out at all and now its hard to make friends i got depressed because they took me halfway across the world away from my friends my escape from them my parents were the only ones i could talk to because i was so afraid of even asking to go out at all and it was even more depressing to see my friends on social media having fun and in uni without me so i had to deactivate for a little while and isolated myself furtherim back in my hometown now though and theyre living away from me but their presence is still very much heavy and the same theres almost no differenceim supposed to finish uni next year already but they delayed my studies because they wanted me to stop for a semester to spend time with them and now theyre blaming my so and our relationship because it can distract me from my studies what the hell youre the reason i am already delayed in the first place and fuck you for even saying that my so is distracting me because i have an academic scholarship and not once failed a class and weve been together for over a yearultimately i have no choice in the matter but continue living with them until i graduate and get a job but i swear when i do im never talking to them againsorry if this feels incoherent or if my situation seems shallow or childish but thanks for listening anyway,3.0
7380,is it more irresponsible to waste hospital time or break lockdown rules this is based on several previous experiences with mental healhcare in the uk aampe and suicidal intentions on each occasion there were several hour waits to see somebody a crisis meeting and being sent home with a future local appointment the system was stretched then and certainly will be more stretched now my mental health is particularly suffering right now due to being in isolation and living alone and i feel like its only a matter of when not if in regards to a breakdown my question revolves around an example like thisi am having a crisissuicidal thoughts but not even necessarily intentions at this point for me personally contact with the right people can stop it progressing to the latteri could call one of my support network ie family or friend and i stay at theres during the immediate crisis  but this would be breaking lockdownor i could go down the aampe route knowing the time and resources it will costi feel like im coming across as selfish and im a bit sad and want an excuse to ignore the lockdown i understand its necessity and am living by it but this is a genuine moral concern i have for times ahead as lockdown has thrown my usual crisis plan into disarraymuch love to all and thanks for any thoughts ,3.0
7381,rt  set   sad boi ,2.0
7382,just got her ankle cut my the stupid ocean flinging shells and rocks at us ouch ,2.0
7383,tumblr isnt working right in my laptop ,2.0
7384,vegas beezies holler if u will be out there if not have a safe and blessed weekend ,0.0
7385,working   listening to the prodigy omen  ,0.0
7386,the short times we were together so many things remind me of you ,2.0
7387,wennies haha no problem thats why its there ,0.0
7388,hollyd ill watch the finale again just cos i can ,0.0
7389,back home after bringin husband and friend enchiladas cookies and tea  i am told i am an awesome wife ,0.0
7390,thornburyscott as youve probably read lindsay reminded us that you can find a saying for every position  ,0.0
7391, prob just keep doing what im doing plan to format comp and reinstall max for receiving osc and sending bt ,0.0
7392,dilipm congrats for new mobile  hope it started working now,0.0
7393,havent been myself lately been through a really rough breakup recently and drove away my partnerboyfriend of two years i got tired of the back and forth from him always leaving me and then coming back ive been diagnosed with bpd so relationship stuff always hits me really hard ive been trying my best to move on but i just havent been myself since the loneliness keeps creeping in no matter how often i keep myself in good company it just isnt the same i cant enjoy anything can barely make it into work and i have no motivation self harms come back ive been relying on weed a lot more and my sleep patterns have been disrupted its also been affecting me at work i feel like i just dont care anymore im burnt out and cant concentrate its affecting my performance on the line im a cook to top it off now im so scared of fucking up a new relationship that i freeze up at the thought of someone new normally im a very warm and loving person but ive closed that part of myself off because im so scared of getting hurt if anyone has any tips on how i can put myself back into my work and hobbies while not being affraid of starting a new relationship thatd be great im currently working on myself and attending therapy for my bpdthanks in advance,3.0
7394,is again about to be late at university  seems like the bvg gives all their drivers a free saturday  time had to wait  min  fail,2.0
7395,bgr has a nice prereview httpbitlyrwlct  seems like inventory will hold it back at launch ,2.0
7396,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
7397,what should i do hello i need help today i took my math exam which was meant for advanced training after i finished i couldnt help but think that i would fail im very smart when it comes to mathematics my classmates sometimes look up to me when we do our seatworks together sometimes i get the answers wrong and i feel a bit nervous since everyone usually looks at me i felt a big blow to the stomach and would feel wrong all the time actually the advanced training is what got me into this ever since i took the training i would overthink everything and wouldnt be able to think at all its like the pressure in my head is blocking my thoughts and abilities i soon began to be nervous during class when i get called up by any teacher i felt that i would be wrong and be laughed at can someone please give me any advice,3.0
7398,off too bedoh man will i be tired tomorrow thanks for the calls girls  i love you all sweet dreams ,0.0
7399,could use an ear having a rough month i feel guilty about everything and could use a kind comment or at least clarity via strangerdaughter had rsv  she couldnt breath well and is now better awesome but i had wonder if she got the virus from me who happen to take her to school each daymy wife got diagnosed with hyperthyroidism i am having a hard time calming her down she should be ok but her stress at this point is already high relevant lateri started a new job i am leaving midway through a big project however also its my second attempt at quitting first time i chickened out and was convinced to stay i am not making any more cash here than where i am now either people have been taking it personal and it really isnt but try to convince them thatmy boiler died after i purchased fixes for my garage door engine a microwave replacement a cabinet i promised to install and a secret gift for my wife she has been asking for for like  years which totals finally i just got into a car accident cars unusable and in shock i just admitted guilt i was supposed to stay in with wife and kid but opted to help a friend pick up a gift for his soafter all this hardship i feel like a burden on my wife and daughter we financially are ok im frugal but i feel like im the genesis of all of my families problemsi was reminded by my wife that i cant fix everything and my money spent was going to happen one day nor did i break my boiler the new job while stressful isnt bad stress i am not a horrible dad she cried afterwordsi dont know how to end this post,3.0
7400,pofmagicfingers ne me follow plus ,2.0
7401,ririfenty popopopoker face ma ma ma ma  like lady gaga and also u riri   it would be fun a featuring of riri and ladyg ,0.0
7402,didnt stretch before and after my oztag game now im hurting ,2.0
7403,weak sense of self i have some other stuff going on in my head so this might not be related to depression but im not sure what else it would be i feel like i dont really understand who i am like my personality isnt even really there at all im  and ive been through abuse from family for most of my childhood and ive never had longterm real life friends and ive never really gone out for social activities because of that i feel like i was really mentally stunted and i dont have a very good grip on the understanding of myself like theres things i like but i have so little motivation that i never end up putting any energy into them so i have a barely surface level knowledge of stuff im interested in coding maps flags etc and its hard to really say thats a part of my personality at the moment im a neet but im planning on moving in with two very sweet people soon across the country and getting a job as soon as i can once im there theres nothing i really feel like i excel at and i get really bad jealousy when my friends are just way better at everything im interested in i know this isnt good and it feels so frustratingi feel like since i havent had any life experiences and havent had the motivation to put energy into things for like a decade i just dont even understand who i am or who i want to be i have no aspirations and im really just living each day as it comesi know i have depression but do you think this is caused by it or could it be something else thanks for replying im going to bed now and i can respond to messages in about  hours,3.0
7404,now i know  ,2.0
7405,ya right u look beautiful from what i can see  sexyaguilar,0.0
7406,we were all wondering why taeyng wasnt showing himself these days and it made us sad but what makes me sadder is the reason behind it ,1.0
7407,im finally realising i need help im  and i havent been happy since i was  but ive never tried to get any kind of help not from doctors or counselors or even a friend i feel like i have this reputation as someone who is really easy going and bubbly and i think thats true to an extent when im feeling okay but so much of the time i feel awful and recently the lows feel much worse and the good parts dont make up for it and i dont want to do it anymore im scared of this change ive been bad before but ive never wanted to not exist until recently i know i need to get help but i dont know how to do that ive handled it on my own for years and i dont want to suddenly drop this on a friend and i know i wont commit to going to a doctor or counselor im stuck and i dont see anything changing and if it doesnt change soon im scared of what could happen i dont know if im looking for advice or if i just needed to write this down but i suppose me looking for help starts here,3.0
7408,ughh this is fucking bull shit ,2.0
7409,music is probably a horrible career choice i suffered from depression before it and ive been in situations that made it worse because of it but i cant stop i want to give up all the time my motivation levels fluctuate daily ive been working nonstop for the past  years of my life i turn  this month ive had almost no help im going to figure things out i never thought id post on a sub like this because im pretty private but that came from creating a habit of internalizing everything for the past decadeanyways i just want to share a song i wont say what its about i think its different for everyonehope everyone is having a better day than yesterday,3.0
7410,stuck in traffic because of a huge wreck listening to revelation song ,0.0
7411,im done for the day hahaha i worked i worked out fubolandia and now rest ,0.0
7412,blurtit thank you very much ,0.0
7413,divabfly time to ask daddy for some money haha i still gotta tell you what happened the other day whereve u been and wheres darren ,0.0
7414,dont you just love it when your anxietys on a 💯 right when youre in the middle of your exam week  gotta focus ,0.0
7415,  i miss my boy he got outside and some dogs chased him off cant find him ,2.0
7416,todays photojob has brought me to the guggenheim i really dig the museums architecture it looks like a giant white beehive ,0.0
7417,wiwiwiwiw spent my time with pf today ,0.0
7418,i feel like im spiraling back down again i was depressed for a period of time last year and i thought maybe it just passed and that phase was over its not like i woke up content or with purpose in my life when i was no longer depressedeach day was still a meaningless drag to me but at least i felt some hope even if it was just a tiny bit but recently i think im spiraling down into another period of depression i dont know if its soon to tell but im so scared because im starting to feel like how i did last year i feel especially hopeless i just randomly break down and the only thing that has the potential to comfort me is music heck i dont even feel like playing animal crossing anymore so far i feel like every second of my day is a purposeless burden and i dont want to talk to anyone in real life about this they will either not believe me not care and say surfacelevel things or ill just be a burden to themi feel like i overcompensate when talking to my friendsi laugh or smile way too much and im kinda tired of pretending that im happy when im with my family i feel like im exactly the opposite unless were celebrating something i feel like i barely smile and often argue with them its hard to truly be happy around them all i do is stay in my room now and i really feel like im spiraling back down again what should i do any advice would be greatly appreciatedtldr i really feel like im spiraling back down into my depression any advice on what to do before it gets even worse,3.0
7419,my yummy but huge burger wow    ,0.0
7420,omg i am so mad another one of my guitar string broke and i wasnt even playing it why  err,2.0
7421,jeff was right call of duty pwns now i just gotta figure out what to do with this xtra copy of wolvarine i bought earlier this week ,2.0
7422,danni i love squirrels how could she eat them all lol ,2.0
7423,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
7424,i wrote a document up about whether i should kill myself instead of typing the paper i was supposed to do tonight things i like about myselfsmartempatheticpatientsensitivestudies reads and comprehends quicklyputs others needs on the same level as mine if not abovekind to strangersgood at making friends funny compassionategood at public speakingenjoys helping othersstands up for othersartisticopen mindedsupportivegood listenergood at giving advicenot small where it supposedly countslovingthings i hate about myselfunattractiveshortdisabledcoward when it comes to datingshyungratefulhotheadunmotivatedphysically uglyemotionally closed offcries easilyoffended easilyawkwarddoesnt know when to stop talkingdifficult to lovedesperatelazycynicaldepressedneuroticslobunorganizedargues in order to feel smarteroverestimates own knowledgeannoyinguninterestingchildishignorantinexperiencedoverly sentimentalnihilisticdoesnt care about own well beingtries too hard to please othersdogmaticsubtly contributing to global imperialism and slaverycarbon footprint oversizedaddictive personalityobsessiveoverthinking everythingdistantsuicidallonelyneedygenetically unfortunatejudgementalarrogantfragile egojealousliardependentcant take a hintuncomfortablecreepyknowitalltouchypresumptiveunkemptno self esteemanxiousdamagedpersistent feeling that dying alone is inevitablegives up easilyescapismnegative thought patternsscared of changeromanticizes and identifies with mental illnessangryhedonistic ambitionsenablerself loathing and self loathinghopelessnesspedanticnegative narcissistic tendencieshypersexual doesnt act on itlack of confidenceunreliabledefeatistunsure self identityself consciousfeeling worthlesseasily distractedselective listenerobsessed with self image yet does nothing to improve itlacks assertivenessfeeling guilty for everything badforgetfulalways feeling exhaustedracing thoughtspoor sleeperbad fashion senseattachment and abandonment issuesmasks suffering for the sake of sparing others from feeling badtakes everything personaljumps to conclusionsbad posturefeeling like a burdenpoor family dynamicsextremely low standardsdepravedfinancial burden on parentsfantasizes about an abusive relationship to justify sadnessthe pros and cons of suicideprosend of all suffering highly probablepotential to be a revolutionary martyrdont have to be alone anymoreno more pressure to conform to capitalismdont need to get a jobpeople will think of me more fondlyno more feeling like a disappointment to familyfind out what comes after death or cease to experience timecan make life mean somethingcould donate organsdont have to grow oldnever coerced into labor againdont have to deal with the inhumanity and alienation caused by the marketno more fear of consequencesfeeling of peace after finally deciding when and how to diecould survive and have a new outlook on lifecould survive and gain the love and sympathy lacking beforewould legitimize the severity of own depressiondont have to try to perform damage controlno longer conscious of the absurd horror of the worldtaking full control of own destinydying on feet instead of living on kneesdont have to justify own existence anymoredont have to watch loved ones dieno more rejectionelimination of all future carbon emissions in lifenext reality could be pleasantdont have to take unpleasant memories withcould positively alter circumstances even without following throughexperimenting with hard drugsends a genetic line of depressionno longer have to satisfy basic needsno longer bound by arbitrary social conventionpotential for fatal artistic expressiononly permanent and preventative solution to problemsconsfamily would probably be torn apart for the rest of their livesprobably bad karmasmall reactionary victoryprobably dont get to see the progression of history moving forwardpets would be lost and confusedultimate guiltterror in last momentspossible feedbacklooping of timelinenext reality could be worse than the current or even worse than none at allcant help in a future revolutionstatistically unlikely to be successful even given access to most lethal meansfailed attempt could lead to a vegetative state or severely paralyzedfailure results in revoking of certain rightsfailure carries negative social stigmafailure means time spent locked in a wardfailure means family and friend dynamics are never the samefailure will most likely result in stricter rules within parents housefailure likely means confronting some kind of buried taumacould inspire family and friends to do the samemore lethal methods are messier and more traumaticlosing chance to explore identity moredying full of regretdying a virginaccusations of being a cowardnever experienced loveim sorry if this doesnt really belong here but i could use some help right now times are desperate since i hit ,3.0
7425,jeffgirton noted ,0.0
7426,im skinnier than yesterday my jeans fittin today ,0.0
7427,any suggestions on how to clean get the energy to clean your house my house is borderline disgusting like i wont let anyone come to my house im so embarrassed i just literally cannot make myself do it ive been thinking of hiring someone to clean it every so often but first i need to get it clean and not like hoarders edition any suggestions i feel like im probably using the wrong cleaning supplies anyways ,3.0
7428,i want to give up im  and i am currently in an outpatient program but im at the end of it i have one more day there after i leave i have no one to turn to for support i used to have this friend he was a great friend he came over and talked me out of suicide earlier this year but lately hes been distancing himself from me and using me for money im honestly really scared that once i leave outpatient ill just fall further down this rabbit hole and go through with it lately ive been thinking a lot about life as an adult since i am going to be living that life sooner than later ans i just cant see myself being happy in that future i see myself as going through the motions sad and lonely all the time who wants to live like that what even is the point of living if its just going to be pain and misery i am at my wits end here and i dont know what to do i have no reason to live right now as nothing brings me joy i just want to give up ,3.0
7429,i havent ate all day ,2.0
7430,re lmao  i want a montage of the packs stares  and i want it now damn it ,2.0
7431,nf hate myself  late nights get the best of me  they know how to get to me  suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me  but i dont wanna die i just wanna get relief nf this just speaks volumes to me and just wanted to share this with you,3.0
7432,sitting herepateo doors wide open the sound of rain thunder and lightingmmm some  times its nice just to hear and see mother nature ,0.0
7433,aww season five of desperate housewives is over the last episode was so good i want to watch more now ,2.0
7434,mikeneumann  you just want to go i know the feeling  im ready to head back to the mountains i wont go back till july ,0.0
7435,vitalsign i comment out that part and add a checker elsewhere and it avoids a fail and the thing works still i need that int to work ,2.0
7436,on my way to callantsoog yeah i love the beach ,0.0
7437,no concert for me next time  ,0.0
7438,nagging feeling hi i have adhd so i have to take meds aka free speed yay but most of the time i feel like crap tired and alone when i take my meds those feeling go away i wouldnt call myself happy but more emotionless but when they stop working those feelings come back and sometimes even worse ,3.0
7439,rxmxa sad we never see dan dance anymore ,2.0
7440,laurenconrad can i travel w you ,2.0
7441,lewsor  it doesnt like you either,2.0
7442,back from da club and rrrealllyyy tired ,2.0
7443,making dinner glad its starting to cool down  is better then  sad to see my pimp daddy go but know he will come back to me ,0.0
7444,lol sike that shits gonna give me anxiety about feeling depressed probably,2.0
7445,the weights still there ive just shifted comfortably beneath it its like a heavy weight in the middle of my chest that wont budge between the flesh and that spirit thing i dont really know if this is the correct place to post whatever this is and if it isnt i apologize,3.0
7446,thinks  is too much to see kings of leon live but will pay the price anyway ,2.0
7447,what to do in this situation hi im  yo boyi can most of the day be kinda normal and get stuff done but at night i allways think about sad thinks and overthink mostly at night when im on bed i think about stuff like my crush cheating on me i image that we are on relationshipwhat should i do should i just force myself to not  think about thatand if you have any other tips for depression ill take those too,3.0
7448,omgggg boooo  whered u loose ittt babee come by ella tonight and see meee i wanna see u ud make my night if u came by,2.0
7449,ooh my followers are increasing in numbers  thank you britney fucked vids who was good enough to follow me twice ,2.0
7450,rt   sad meme ,0.0
7451,tried out seesmic desktop   worked with facebook but didnt show my twitter stream ,2.0
7452,catarsecat thats depression yeah numbness and cant dont want to do anything i am sorry about what you are going through,1.0
7453,ok im thinking its a conspiracynobody is talking to me ,2.0
7454,medical condition has ruined my life i am a  year old man from ohio and i have a medical condition that has controlled my life for the past  years to simplify it some times i just smell like shit and there is nothing i can do it has stripped me of all confidence i cant date i cant work and i have overwhelming anxiety any time i am not alone and i have spent years feeling suicidal but i have never acted on it i have been to the doctor and i have had two colonoscopy but the most that came of that is they told me to eat more fiberto clarify the problem isnt that i spoil myself more of that gas just leaks out mostly because i spent years having digestive issues because i was lactose intolerant and didnt know it this is also why i have a lot of anxiety and it basically ruined the last year of high school for meto be honest i dont know what to do people tell me to get a job to talk to that girl to go to school etc but they dodont know what its like every day is a struggle and i have been in situations where they made me just want to die but i have held on for so long,3.0
7455,im so sad i really hope hes fine ,0.0
7456,rackeltheracoon suckage ,2.0
7457,bubye hawaiian monarch see you soon when i expect to cower in your innards ,2.0
7458,what to do to avoid stress  ,0.0
7459,nancyadoresjon no i didnt u dont care only care if jon gets his amp he wasnt even asking for any booo nancy  lol,2.0
7460,lovemesomeddub happy birthday ,0.0
7461,my tweets are disappearing again ,2.0
7462,people come and go right so i should be okthen y am i not the real ones stay ,2.0
7463,i havent watched  of jonas i went on to  and skipped  i wanna watch it but cant ,2.0
7464,maryelleuh awe thanks love  ,0.0
7465,lexd its tough but i use a lot of rice subs  rice pasta rice crackers still try to stay lowcarb you can do it ,0.0
7466,rt indomymenfess  regarding to the sad news today our fellow army said dont mention tas name just censored it we dont want t,0.0
7467,just finished a nice jog time to chill out ,0.0
7468,from  back when actions of government and white house were based on science ,2.0
7469,flipflopschels flipflopschels shaked bro hand today at grad  makes me happy,0.0
7470,is being homeless worth it im currently in college rn and am fortunate to have my parents pay for it but im conflicted my dad is very emotionally unstable and my mom is a religious narc i quit therapy back in hs because i was scared of my dads temper as he would usually drive me to therapy i also stopped talking about my dreams beliefs and feelings because im afraid of them ive tried talking to them once but quit trying because my dad would scream at me and my mom would yell it sucked to cuz my sibling had to see it and i didnt want to ruin his view on my parents  he is the ideal kid for them good grades does sports wants to be a doctor is a christian etcive convinced myself that i have have recovered and dont self harm but i dont know if im still depressed ive lost any will to do shit and have no drive to do or become anything i dont want to have to deal with them anymore im tired of having to wear a mask around them but cant take it off in front of them im scared to go back home especially for spring print and the rest of the semster given the corona virusam i being dramatic and is the possibility of having to drop out and be homeless worth it,3.0
7471,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
7472, day weekend thats what i am talkin about ,0.0
7473,ouch thats some bad back rupert  confined to the sofa flat on my back the last two daysdamned swimming fb,2.0
7474,poor chuck  damn you bryce chuckmemondays,2.0
7475,i cant wait untill july omg just saw jb do the quotthinking of youquot coverdude its totally badass i love it  anywho  gonna eat now  byee,0.0
7476,here it goes posted on rmentalhealth too dont know how to do the crosspost thing  hello all longtime lurker attempting to reach out for some adviceim  years old and live in a small town in northwest oklahoma i own an oil and gas company and make pretty decent money it hasnt always been like this though i used to barely make  a year im projected to make upwards of  in my first year of bussiness but the cliche saying money doesnt buy happiness is actually truefrom a young age i have had life beat me down over and over again to only let me get back up and stand up tall and then it takes me back to my knees its been a repetative cycle lost my father to brain cancer when i was  years old the year prior my mom and dad had my little sister ive helped practically raise her with my mom since then after my father passed my grandfather took over as my father figure in life and when i was  he died of kidney cancer i started to get into a habit of drinking often and having sex with as many women as possible and being incredibly controlling i got married when i was  to my highschool sweetheart and a year later we got divorced because i was unable to be the man that she needed at the time so i developed a lot of trust issues and became more and more controlling to have a sense of stability and know that i wont lose another person but alas this is an incredibly bad habit i obviously have depression and anxiety from all of these experiences and this year i finally decided to go to a doctor again to get on anxiety medication and he wanted to put me on antidepressants but i refused because  years prior i got put on zoloft for a bit and that didnt work and then lexapro they messed my memory up to where i couldnt tell you what i had for dinner last nighti got put on boostbar or buspar not sure of the spelling but it seems to be working i still find myself wanting to be in control of every aspect of life and i dont know how to stop it and it is really impacting my current relationship weve been together  years now and in the beginning things were fantastic but as time went on i showed more and more of my true self and it makes life worse and worse weve been having serious problems lately because she doesnt like to have sex as often as we used to probably because of the way i am but its a primal need that isnt being met she has been incredibly supportive of me no matter what i want to do i have tried to do the same for her but im a worse case scenario about everything type of person and i make up stories in my head and then convince myself that theyre true its been  weeks since weve last had sex and the past  nights weve had serious talksarguments about it she claims to have no sex drive but last night i went to bed earlier than her because i had to get up early i went out to the kitchen to get something to drink she didnt hear me and shes masturbating on the couch i got irate and completely lost control of my emotionswe had a talk i didnt get any sleep last night and now im at work typing this outim tired of being unhappy shes a great chick i know im messed up in the head but i dont know how to fix it i havent been truly happy since i lost my father i dont know if i will ever have it again without drugs after my previous experience with anti depressants i dont want to go that route again it put me into an incredibly dark place that i refuse to go back to but it seems as if doctors just trail and error with those pills i got so depressed and suicidal which i had never been before and i dont want to go back to that placei dont have time to go to a therapist im trying to make time but cant seem to find one that will meet me with my work schedulethank you in advance i hope i dont get bashed here and i get some actual advice and answers about what to do but if i do i accept it because im just throwing my problems into the internet and hoping for the bestedit side note i no longer feel any emotion about loss ive suppressed every bad emotion to the point where i didnt cry at my grandmas funeral i didnt feel anything about it just accepted that i wouldnt see her again ive suppressed my father and grandfathers death to the point where i dont remember much about them at all i feel as if im just going through life and being successful financially but im incredibly unhappy with who i am ive been told just change before and trust me if i could i would i just dont know what else to do it seems like no matter how hard i try or how good things get in life i will always be unhappy i always worry about everything to the point of no return probably because of my over protective mother after dad died she became super protective which is completely understandable i just find minimal joy in anything i do anymore,3.0
7477,middleofmarch theres always next week    now if facebook wasnt acting so buggy ,0.0
7478,on my way to a funeral for one of my best friends  im so sad hope i make it through this day,2.0
7479,why am i still awake  i get frustrated playing the piano in the dead of night ,2.0
7480,sighstaring at another very tight monthwhen will hikes come back ,2.0
7481,im just taking up space i just realized what i ama burdenive had depression and anxiety since i was ive been on medication since that age to survive cause this isnt really livingevery single day is a challenge for me im a burden to my mom im pretty sure the only reason she texts me almost every day is to make sure i havent killed myself i study abroad im never going to have a normal and healthy lifeim never going to enjoy life never been happy either im not good at anything no talentsthe only thing im good at is taking up oxygen and space in this world im not smart pretty im nothingsorry if i made any mistakes english isnt my first language,3.0
7482,woodsonhawk ill find the sound track yep amazing day here ,0.0
7483,chaos at husbands work may lose his job ,2.0
7484,is stressing out about everythinggg ,2.0
7485,youre doing so much better i feel so exhausted keeping up that im doing better  i feel like i should be getting better but im only worse  its just a cycle  im afraid to give up but i dont know what will happen if i keep trying   i feel like everyone will say i dont get it  he seemed so happyi dont know why im saying it  i just needed to say it,3.0
7486,shame on the international leaders who have accepted ahmadinejad as irans president shame on u japan and russia   iranelection,2.0
7487,at my grandparents house  haha,2.0
7488,marganina and you know what im trying to do right ,0.0
7489,watching south park ,0.0
7490,when one tries to condense each thought into a quottwitterablequot amount of letters even i begin to sound quotprofoundquothahahaha  ,0.0
7491,rt  me stress over you yikes,2.0
7492,watching amazing race and wondering which episode this is  right wendywings  next episode is nz ,0.0
7493,lonely i am so extremly lonely i dont know how to get through this i almost accidentally killed myself i went work high on accident i hope i dont get fired i am in so much pain ,3.0
7494,rt allisonposts why are people so okay with tweeting such private and intimate shit like this just for the hopes of likes and rts this,0.0
7495,everything is so hard when you have depression i have been clinicaly depressed for over  yearsim tired of being tired all the fucking timeim so tired and exchausted but i need to keep on going so i can finish my uni program the program im in is physically really hard and these physical activeties become even harder when you are depressed and mentaly drainedim scared that i will break down in any of these classes not that they havent seen me on my bad days but what if i will freak out completelyi have  days of ski touring tomorrow one free day to pack for  day sea kayaking trip  free days where i need to go up on a glacier  work days  free day to pack for a  day mountainering course  free day to pack for a  day rafting course and then  free days to pack for moving to another country i have no free time to fix my mental side i will be surounded with people every single day no space to go to alone and charge my batteries and i hate people i want to die every single day and this madness is pushing me over the edge but i have to push through or just pray for an avalanche to hit us on ski touring so i wont have to worry anymore,3.0
7496,but still swedish mucis  im proud of them  ,0.0
7497,jessicollins  hey jessi thanx ofr following me ,0.0
7498,i dont really know what im going to do about getting the rest of my stuff out of the house ,2.0
7499,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
7500,houseofturtle haha youd know more than me i need to learn from you ,0.0
7501,last day on set    then monday i meet the governor at the screening d,2.0
7502,ugh i hate taking pills but im in soo much pain ,2.0
7503,goodness me  pages of follower notifications i need to review ,2.0
7504,i could pick up robots all day ,2.0
7505,aloemilk yeah sowy  after a while talking to multiple people gets tiringits a lot to keep up with,2.0
7506,is high on life ,0.0
7507,better day in store today but not feeling quite right gurgley belly  my shorts have made their first outing watch out ,2.0
7508,i feel like im spiraling down i feel like im spiraling down im to the point where i feel like i should just give up im ruining lives by being what do you do when youre supposed help and instead youre not i feel like giving up i feel like disappearing and i dont know what to do i honestly believe no one would miss me if i disappeared,3.0
7509,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
7510,aplusk nkotb rock  step by step ooooh baaby gonna get to you girl lol,0.0
7511,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
7512,walked to schlotskys for lunch but forgot my headphones so i cant watch weeds while i eat ,2.0
7513, lsteezy the rain is gone ,0.0
7514,is home bored missing kyle ,2.0
7515,heytearcatcher hey ,2.0
7516,so i tried cloning myself result big fail  back to the lab ,2.0
7517,studyng the subject of death  i really love java but hate data structures and algorithms,2.0
7518,anxiety ruining my life im  years old and still have the same crippling anxiety i had as a kid it prevents me from making friends and just casual socializing its so embarrassing always being the guy who just stands there watching others socializing never being a part of any of it talking to girls is much worse heart rate goes nuts mind goes blank unable to say the most basic of things eventually hands start to shake its so disheartening seeing how uncomfortable i make people even when i try my hardest it feels like everyones laughing at me or just cant wait until i leave the room no one around me is supportive at all constantly being talked over by friends anf coworkers and sometimes noticing people form their own conversations while im still speaking its really starting to feel like im going to be alone the rest of my life struggling with this tired of feeling like i dont matter am boring and weird and tired of seeing the looks of terror on girls faces when i just ask how their day is going things that are second nature to most are like climbing a mountain for me any advice from someone out there with similar issues would be awesome i would really like to know what has worked for you thank you,3.0
7519,ready to leave work  dmb this weekend ,0.0
7520,greeneyesdu wasnt that heaven gave me goosebumps ,0.0
7521,i just want a friend i feel so lonely and empty i just want a friend someone to talk to and share similar interests im too shy to meet people on my own and end up just watching the world move while im still stuck in the same place alone,3.0
7522,xdeartragedyo i know ive missed loads but it really was amazing the howard stuff was hilarious there was more to that too memory fail ,2.0
7523,abcdude ill bet your plane takes off to the tune of quotill be alright without youquot ,0.0
7524,im apparently an entitled milennial ive been talking to a coworker for a month or so who is an adult that i have become close with i am ive had depression for over a year and it has recently gotten more severe i told him about it to feel less aloneyesterday he opened up to me saying depression and anxiety is just an excuse young people use to not deal with real world problems he then told me he does not believe my depression is reallmao what the fuck do i do its like he doesnt think that would make things worse hahahawhatever he doesnt understand how i feel so fuck him for being so negative,3.0
7525,laying down cant sleep  heartburn oww,2.0
7526,ive been syncing my ipod with my music since i got home and im only at k ,2.0
7527,ur so beautiful im  im sad the gc died because i really wanted to be your friend,0.0
7528,any suggestion for a good marketing book selecting my monthly audiblecom book ,0.0
7529,carlottap but i wont be in la ,2.0
7530,passed  views of my youtube videos ,0.0
7531,mind you saying that the cocodamol have helped so i have to keep reminding myself i have an injury  wish id taken painkillers before bed,0.0
7532,quotno person ever fully discovers and develops his full potential until he dares to riskquot  micheal de montaigne what a lovely morning ,0.0
7533,i graduate today yall holla ,0.0
7534,not doing anything have to wake up at  tom so sad i dont want to wake up early ,2.0
7535,rt iyliasyazwanie with me so he could wait at the car i was about to combust his wife was so embarrassed and sad i could feel my heart b,1.0
7536,heatherbailey so strange i havent received it  can you resend checked spam folder and could not find it,2.0
7537,just broke my wacom bamboo stylus ugh its back to a mouse until a replacement comes in  ,2.0
7538,need advice on keeping my motivation when i want to set goals and actually doing them i have ocd and depression and sometimes i find it so difficult to do the things that i enjoy my goal for this year was to learn how to draw i have always liked it but i dont know how so i bought an online drawing course my other goal was to make youtube videos at first the first few weeks were great but slowly i started not taking the classes or just recording for youtube but loosing motivation when it came to edit the videos its so difficult for me to do this two tasks that i set as goals i find it more easy to stay in bed and browse the web than to actually get up and do something i sometimes start to edit videos but mid way i just give up what can i do how can i achive this tasks without letting my thoughts tell me naaah,3.0
7539,lol love is too keen we avoid the sharp edge to preserve ourselves only to realize that we need that edge we need to cut our teeth ,0.0
7540,dood i rly think i gawht teh swyne floo my lungs burn and my throat feels like death wtf ,2.0
7541,couponalbum i know what you mean i need to be doing more of that ,0.0
7542,followfriday everyone on my list   lol much love to all my followers,0.0
7543,trying to distract myself constantly is exhausting every time i stop all my horrible self loathing comes back and im back at square one ,3.0
7544,rt skypetherapist dont be a prisoner of recurrent anxiety it is a habit that can be changed through mindfulness therapy ,2.0
7545,bronwyns bored ,2.0
7546,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
7547,rt emilymusson i lost  pounds what diet did you do anxiety,2.0
7548,the main homie aslash bbqd  yeahhh headed there wine kush n food  lol,0.0
7549,sabki heyy girl i was gonna text you the other daydid u get thmdk for the  ,0.0
7550,first post this is a bit of a ramble you dont even have to read  it i just needed to get it out somewhereabout a month ago i decided that the side effects weight gain excessive teeth grinding to the point of health issues of my medication lexapro were outweighing the benefits of it and tapered offapparently it was doing more than i realized or perhaps it was just going off an ssri in general but my depression came back hard and i would cry every day because of how much i hated myselfi recently started taking my meds again because i couldnt live like that but im still depressed im having a tough time in school because im holding back tears during class constantly telling myself im not good enough for this major comparing myself to people around me and ending up not getting my work done making me feel even worsewhen im not at work or school all i do is lay in bed i dont have the motivation or desire to do anything else but put on videos or look at my phone or sleepwhen i try to go to bed at night i toss and turn have nightmares sometimes bite my tongue or cheek until it bleeds from my tooth grinding and wake up with my heart pounding from anxiety every few hours i try to have energy and be funny during the day to others so i dont have to go through the arduous explanation of whats wrong but i really just want to go back to bed and give upthe only thing that keeps me going is the fear of being a complete waste of space and a disappointment to my parents and myself also its weird because when i say i hate myself i really dont i actually like myself i just feel like i hate myself sometimes i wish i was better at a lot of things i wish i had the motivation to be better to accomplish more to be more wellliked its hard to explainmy fluctuation with my meds have also been making me really aggressive i know better than to take it out on people who dont deserve it but that just leaves me with so much pent up anger that it makes my depression and selfloathing worse theres just so many emotions happening yet somehow i manage to be apathetic most of the timethats all thanks if you made it this far i dont know what the point of this was,3.0
7551,woohoo keith urban is coming to sydney in dec ,0.0
7552,savorthethyme those pokens are so cute  i want one too   hint hint startpoken bookieb,2.0
7553,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
7554,hanging out wit the family kinda boredd reading eclipse  missing my godfather ,2.0
7555,ohrachelizabeth dry heat or humidity the rain is here come up to the city and enjoy the sleepy dull feeling  wheres summer,2.0
7556,caffeine causing depression anyone else addicted to caffeine and think it might be contributing to depression i started working part time november of  i was only drinking coffee when i needed now i need a cup to get through the day i experimented with a lot of drugs in high school im  ecstasy would leave me depressed for a while after then i noticed things speed did the same thing caffeine is a stimulant too perhaps its having the same effect i dont feel anymore its so hard to survive without caffeine especially since i dont sleep well ive been tired since middle school should i rough it with out caffeine for a month and see if it changes ,3.0
7557,no one cares about me i know it might sound stupid but im feeling like this for a long time now im in my last year in college work for  week so its a very flexible and light job and some freelance jobs that pay well and it sounds like i have it all but no i have an unstable family with a history of mental disorders mixed with alcohol and drugs and i even fear that one is revealing in me i dont do drugs or drink because of childhood traumas ive been feeling down for almost  months now and its tough its hard and no one cares if im ok i feel like i have no friends  of the people that talk with me is to ask me to do stuff or to help not to know how im doing  and when i do help i feel like im ditched out it hurts a lot the rest i feel like im being used and i just dont understand i dont have great social skills so i dont know how to be around people that well at my job i dont talk to anyone and it makes me uncomfortable toothere are days where its hard to get up  and start my day i cry myself to sleep almost every night i arrive late for work and college and for other people it seems like im getting sloppier being an a league student im not  im tired of my life im tired of falling asleep and waking up feeling like crap i hate when i arrive late but i cant help it im even considering leaving my job and focusing on finishing college and get my freelance stuff doneim also thinking about trying to talk to a psychologist on my campus but im too afraid of what might be brought up i dont want to relive my childhood but that time is probably the issue that i need to solve im afraid of myself and afraid of breaking down even deeperive been on this road before and i know where it leads i dont want to be in that place again what do i do ,3.0
7558,trying to find a buyer for my steigerman premium grand piano   at the trafalgar legion on gorge road victoria june  and ,0.0
7559,sevidesigns itll be delivered next friday  that is a looonnnng way away with  people guess ill do laundry next week at mils,2.0
7560,xeltaloth i fell over my dog onto concrete and tore the wound open not allowed to use that hand at all for a week ,2.0
7561,my sisterrr has apendicitis ahhhh what about the ddlovato concert  ,2.0
7562,i think mattklug and i are the only people in clt not going to band of horses tonight sold out ,2.0
7563,reading as always too bad its so cold outside  blah,2.0
7564,btstwt tae im sorry about it  stay strong baby   im so sad that i can not help youi love you  😔,1.0
7565,why did strollos where dexters used to be close that was a good little place ,2.0
7566, the only console i have is a wii  i got no street cred good thing i dont need it any more ,2.0
7567,lichellemarieee having a fun time in miami  thanks for tweeting with me earlier  its been fun  you are awesome ,0.0
7568,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
7569,tsaksonakis  fantastic i never manage to progress to the sunday press rain stopped grass very green amp outdoors calling ,0.0
7570,ninjen love that tune  thanks ,0.0
7571,theloving new twitter friend yay ,0.0
7572,sadiesynth no ,2.0
7573,keep pushing people away i dont have any real groups of friends right now and it seems like when ever i meet someone i just hang around them until i get an excuse to leave them anyone relate,3.0
7574,rocklandusa i love the iphonebut they just got the mms capability  that was my biggest peeveup until now and now this haha ,2.0
7575,will i always be sad when does life get better,1.0
7576,dukerocheister take it from me who has done drinking because of depression dont do it no matter what reason you ,1.0
7577,whats the point i think im starting to climb my way out of one of the many depressioncausing issues and something else comes to bring me down and then another thing kicks me in the ribsim drowning and i cant breathe im so done with it all,3.0
7578,there is friday in the air ,0.0
7579,its my birthday nothing changes doing worse from month to month i need a hug im so alone c,3.0
7580,night everyone  love you guys,0.0
7581,i thought yesterday would suck cause everyone was going to that party i wasnt invited to but i ended up in a club and had a lot of fun ,0.0
7582,primehex i didnt know you did that ,2.0
7583,immmunity boost up for disease click here ,3.0
7584,celientje ok is goed sjatje p i need an outfit for tomorrow so help me outadam was bleeee  sjiejesjo kussie,2.0
7585,working hard at the office what what what ,0.0
7586,httpwwwliveinternetrucommunityallmusicprofile the playlist of the newest music not mine just the link ,0.0
7587, are you guys on your way home or going to the store or something,0.0
7588,is confused as to why my bf is not talking to me  what did i do is it bc i lost my phone and couldnt contact anyone if so get over it,2.0
7589,so sad that twitterfon nor twitteriffic use autorotate ,2.0
7590,i can feel myself plummeting again i was doing good for a little while staying productive and keeping myself busy even writing down lists of goals to achieve and then out of nowhere it hits me again and i dont care about anything i said or wrote down on that piece of paper anymore this thing will always follow me no matter what i do to try to avoid it no matter how determined i am to make things right and give life a new meaning it always comes back i dont wanna go through another decade of having to battle this i fell back on my word to quit drinking and i started talking to my ex again whom im still deeply in love with he doesnt want me and it just fucking hurts i seen him last night and we spent the whole night talking cuddling and kissing like nothing ever happened like he was still mine but he isnt its just crushing i felt such comfort being around him again and i should have never done that because it just ripped open old wounds im a fucking idiot i genuinely believe that i will never find happiness in this life i find little things here and there that make it ok for a short while but it never lasts i can just feel myself spiraling again and im not sure if im strong enough to pull myself out of it this time im deeply sad all the time its not even sadness its emptiness and i just need someone right now i dont care who you are i just need someone to tell me that theyre there and that its gonna be ok even if i dont believe it maybe seeing it will give me some comfort to know that people are out there and that im not all alone like i feel i am i cant sleep its too fucking heavy,3.0
7591, of june to belgium tvr continental meeting driving in very nice cars  but first sleepingstill  nights to go,0.0
7592,emeryville is a very fenceheavy city also ive never met a fence i couldnt climb but now my hands are dirty ,2.0
7593,jennysmyname bahaha  quotbut jenny hes cute amp yequot  k quotno you have mike rememberquotj quotoh yah sorry im takenquotk,0.0
7594, thanks for the concern and checking up on me much appreciated ,0.0
7595,its my birthday today ive never felt more low in my entire life my cries are agonising it hurts to cry i have an exam tomorrow but i keep thinking maybe its time i get myself psychiatric treatment i am all alone here and i consider myself fairly unreliable  attempts at suicide failed and i wouldnt want to do it again but the distress and putting on an okay facade for my birthday is killing me i need help i dont know what else to do,3.0
7596,how do i laugh again i dont know if this is the right place to post this but i feel like this could also help people in this subreddit too im not necessarily sad or depressed i do have my moments but i remember there were times when i would watch something or hear someones joke and i would laugh to where my sides ached i can barely remember the last time ive genuinely laughed and thought something was funny and i get envious when people around me are dying of laughter meanwhile im there giving a forced grin can anyone relate,3.0
7597,im so tired of feeling like this the thought of selfharm hasnt even crossed my mind in months yet now im having to really fight the urge i feel so empty and angry and need the release dont have the energy to fight myself but so desperately dont want to let myself down,3.0
7598,im taking back what belongs to me ,0.0
7599,i love how joelmchale calls it quota brave anal hallquot cant wait ,0.0
7600,marianazapata ooh so glad d i always have what if they hate it anxiety with book recs but nalini singh ,1.0
7601,shouldve done that a long time ago ,0.0
7602,ohmygoshnina now the magicjacks not with me   way ,2.0
7603,just got back from lukes havent slept all night but i cant sleep ,2.0
7604,now i missed out on paying my respects and the family probably think i am an uncaring thoughtless cow ,2.0
7605,omg just remembered a bit of my dream my ds had both of its screens smashed o looks phew its in one piece ,0.0
7606,dinner in the oven chicken and vegetable loaf ,0.0
7607,question about telling a psychiatrist that you want to hurt someone just out of curiosity they say everything you tell a doctor is confidential unless you tell them you want to hurt someone what happens if you do tell them something like that they contact te person you want to hurt but what happens after that i have a neighbor thats harassed me and now i have severe anxiety about it and my despression has gotten worse police reports are worthless in these situations i dont actually intend on hurting them but if i say i do will it make it so that they can no longer have any contact with me ,3.0
7608,yukihime i try not to be  sorry your foot hurts hope the evening gets better,0.0
7609,is awake and realized he hardly update his twitter frequently now ,2.0
7610,so  just got diagnosed with major depression im sorry if this is long a little backstory im a musician and i also work in bpo before this i was doing gigs and acting for commercials and just recently got ghosted by someone who i thought i had a connection with i noticed that for the past year i just kinda spiralled down at first i thought it was normal because of the sudden change of lifestyle but i just kept on feeling down everyday and just suddenly lost the interest in almost everything in my life i also found that there are times when i just cant sleep and when my sleepiness was insatiable i also gained  in a span of one year so i went to see a doctor about what i thought was insomnia the doctor prescribed me with iterax to help me sleep after a month it started to have no effects on me and honestly got worse i had this episode where i wasnt able to sleep for a solid  days when i came back to the doctor she started asking me about my personal life and after that told me that i have depression and her first plan was for me to have a session of counselling after the diagnosis it all dawned on me i have been in a very gloomy mood for a year now told my family about it and they were very dismissive about it saying that its just all in the mind i dont know why im writing atm i guess i just wanted to share it to people who would understand so hello guys i hope everything turns out great for all of us,3.0
7611,and my other peep got onto a game site who i will never see again ,2.0
7612,rt diggyrozay that trayvon martin documentary sad as hell man,2.0
7613,first day of senior summer gonna go to lunch with the girls ,0.0
7614,cadelofficial   yuck lovely in canberra   good luck today,0.0
7615,new aventura cd is crazy everyone who knows me well already knows i have tears in my eyes ,2.0
7616,lizmyers first impressions are good actually like the design a happysummer feeling ,0.0
7617,i wish i had tried  virgin here life fulfilled of regrets so far i used to be driven by life had passion for my hobbies for my job my friends but its now all kinda fading away as time passed i feel like im getting more and more disconnected from people i had a really tough childhood including getting beaten by my mom bullied by my siblings cousins and having to bury my mom by the age of  since my early teenagehood i have been struggling with human contact especially with girls probably since ive never had love shown to me when i was a kid as i am now  years old life seen kinda pointless to me i never had a girlfriend or even got to loved once this life is really starting to get to me since im an adult now a lot of my friends have hobbies passion and things they like to do when theyre bored but i got pretty much none except cars and motorcycles i really wished i had someone to really relate to in life in general since i really feel alone and lonely in this world so far dont get this wrong in not suicidal in nowhere wear the way but i kinda have a bad time in life in general sorry for the vent but i had to talk about it if anyone has advice on how i could turn my life around in general i would listen closelythank you for taking your time to read,3.0
7618,i thought there would be no games this year i was wrong my list is now crammed full ,2.0
7619,time to lug out the big blue duffel bag  thats right the one i can actually fit into ,0.0
7620,jencorbett ooohh show and tell when done ,0.0
7621,tarheelguice no idea  fox is really horrible about letting you watch these things online  maybe check surfthechannelcom later,2.0
7622,someone tied my shoelaces together when i was sitting down  so not cool  ,2.0
7623,markaschroeder its a talent to be able to text and drive ,0.0
7624,nothing like starting off the day by  getting a pedicure by a   thank god i wear keens ,0.0
7625,ofstephs how can this happen that fair should have known this was gonna happen they dont read the weather ,2.0
7626,ankle hurts ,2.0
7627,vasundharabjp mameveryone is writing message of appreciation for him but if you see his village lamhiyou will ,0.0
7628,athletetraining i cant do any of the gels they all make me gag ,2.0
7629,simpleplan im coming  thats gonna be awesome ,0.0
7630,what should i think about or do before starting antidepressants long story short ive had functional type depression for a years recently my life circumstances have become slightly difficult i think i should try antidepressants but id like to hear others perspective or experience or what they wish they would have known before trying them ,3.0
7631,sugarlotus hey there no worries  the day cant be as bad as my last week was for me hehe,0.0
7632,peoplefight john tucker must die ,0.0
7633,bongirll if i had the money yes ,2.0
7634,im going to sleep mad disappointed and sad what a great combo,2.0
7635,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
7636,back home and back to reality sigh   ,2.0
7637,addicted to him  i cant sing,0.0
7638,why does thunder have to be loud amp scary it makes girls like me scared to sleep ,2.0
7639,constantly feeling dead inside ive struggled with depression since i was  but lately ive hit a new low a few months ago a life shattering event happened and put me in a pretty bad depressive state had  attempts within  weeks of each other and was making plans for a  and final attemptive been going to group individual psychotherapy and given new medication but i honestly think it doesnt help i have been feeling dead inside for a few weeks now i try to force myself to do things i used to enjoy but i dont feel any form of joy anger etc whenever i talk to my friend i just dont feel anything anymore she used to make me feel a little joy but i just put on this facade that everything is ok i feel like a fake all the time trying to force some kind of emotion whether it be the friendly banter with the uber driver talking to my friends or even sessions with my therapist ill have moments where my brain tells me i should cry to a thought but nothing comes out no tears no feeling in my chest nothing it literally feels like im dead on the inside even this morning i had a sudden wave of sadness hit me only to be back to being emotionally numb againi honestly dont know what to do i constantly tell myself it wont get better no matter how hard i try that i should just do everyone a favor and actually commit to a final attempt i dont know anymore i honestly cant talk to my friends or family about it i dont want to dump my shit on them i would rather feel anything than continue to feel numb,3.0
7640,hell is real and im living in it i wish i wasnt so affected by the world around me the endless fucking miscarriage of justice the loneliness the deep dark hole inside me that i know will never quit i want the world to be better i wish i had the strength to make it better but its only so much to stare at the ceiling and not to give into the dark thoughts beckoning beneath the surface ive tried to be better ive taken prescriptions ive tried to motivate but im tired im never going to be someone else ill always be me and frankly id rather be nothing ,3.0
7641,bugger  just found out i won a  voucher for the fox hotel that i was meant to pick up today now its too late fail   fb,2.0
7642,i wish someone would pay me attention ,2.0
7643,trying to implement gtd in rememberthemilkcom  and it is not so easy ,2.0
7644,arwaabdulaziz thanks for sharing us  ,0.0
7645,anyway ill see her tomorrow  something good of our back to school miss you mariee ,2.0
7646,rt blingspice lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
7647,air conditioner frozen means too hot to sleep ,2.0
7648,lost my cellphone ,2.0
7649,also pks giving me anxiety and i can not watch them,2.0
7650,icklesal ill have to check that out when i get home ,0.0
7651,just read my bank statement and ive somehow managed to spend £ in may absolutely gutted tbh ,2.0
7652,i did something i said i would never do today i did something i always said i would never do i smoked a single cigarette because i wanted to try it i always said i would never do it because many of my family members have died due to smoking induced cancer i have to watch some family members health decline because of their addiction i always said i wouldnt do it that it would be the thing i never did but today i did it and i feel like complete shit because of it i feel like i have no self control it wasnt even worth it and i dont know why i decided to do it even though now i will never touch a cigarette again i still feel worthless and pathetic i know this is probably a stupid thing to get hung up on but i feel pathetic that i ended up doing it just because i promised my parents i would never do this i feel like i have let myself and them down ,3.0
7653,rt moonssoulchild im not going to apologize for expressing my happiness im not sorry for loving him deeply or being truly happy i wa,0.0
7654, hugs to all of you its very sad ,2.0
7655,in chitown with my babe ,0.0
7656,lisachuphotos yea i agree but let me know if you do visit up here  i can show ya around buffalo atleast haha,0.0
7657,rip david carradine  he was da bomb ,0.0
7658, race this afternoon frankie leaves to nj tomorrow  ,2.0
7659,everything is so painful i dont know what to say so i am just going to typeeverything is painful and cold ive been alone my whole lifei look up at the open sky and it makes me so scared that gravity will turn off and ill fall upwards into the sky im scared that ill float away and nobody will reach out and pull me back downnobody has ever loved me what if nobody ever does what if i waste away and die as lonely as i feel right now im so cold and tired all the time i want to sink into my mattress i want to run my heart hurts so muchthe world is so full of wonder theres so fucking much i dont know so why am i so goddamn bored and so goddamn sad and so goddamn lonely i feel so fucking heavy but im floating off the earth and i dont have anything to grab ontothis is everyones experience every single one the specifics hardly matter everyone is everyone,3.0
7660,okay  i seriously need to get some sleep good night loves ,0.0
7661,mileycyrus omg thats amazing congrats for the nominations i hope you win them all you deserve the winswhat are they forreply plz ,0.0
7662,it is raining really hard and i have a million places to go today ,2.0
7663,my legs my arms head and my wrist hurts  i hate it its bad ,2.0
7664,michaelsfeed link here wwwtoxicincbikescom super loud too went for a ride with other hd owners last week mine was the loudest ,0.0
7665,britneyspears  follow me ,0.0
7666,omg i cant waaaaaait to get the palm pre¡this mogul is a big turd ,2.0
7667,not doin anything today  bored to death,2.0
7668,ahhhh back to school tommorow i dont wanna gooooo ,2.0
7669,oh man oldcrew outing to singapore flyer is cancelled   some other time then,2.0
7670, nooo gin gives me the worst hangovers im supposed to be packing but it makes me too sad ,2.0
7671,atexasattitude they wouldnt let me bring mine to the apartmentno pets here ,2.0
7672,kaedron learning from all that spam thank you as well ,0.0
7673,rt diegochuene god is about to fix what people broke god will give you your peace back your happiness back and remove your depression,0.0
7674,im soooooooo fucked for my accounting exam not even funny ,2.0
7675,spotlightlover ill just make u go with me to cathedral first then ur free to use it as u please lolgood luck on ur exam ,0.0
7676,rainbug hehe oh yea  i watched it too ,0.0
7677,the fact that it has no music gives me anxiety,2.0
7678,rt  when you tryna sleep but realized that bts might drop something and ur anxiety is on critical level ,2.0
7679,donniewahlberg i am working and cannot wait for thursday to see yall in concert in atl ,0.0
7680,needs his hug   httpplurkcompoxxvz,2.0
7681,prof bongani mayosis death highlights mental health issues among doctors ,2.0
7682,okay boss just game me yankee tickets for game thursday at  not really gotta take a client ,2.0
7683,i dont wanna be  work ,2.0
7684,orphanth i just had pasta  from pizzahut,0.0
7685,kendralab thank you ,0.0
7686,gossip girl is the greatest im addicted to watching it its sooo goood ,0.0
7687,rt yaboybillnye hey dont let anxiety control you fam dont forget that you are star dust how cool is that,1.0
7688,rainy day here in nyctorrential rain  just finished a whole batch of new souffle soaps and its too dreary to take photos ,2.0
7689,watching tv waiting for my ickle rachel to wake wake up and teke her for hugs with her auntie annie happy birthday hun ,0.0
7690,kirkmtc  have a great great day and tell kingston i say hello you guys be safe peace ,0.0
7691,i poured my heart out into a letter i guess i dont know if this is where to post this so im sorry if its a mistake dear everyone whos broken mei just wanted to say congratulations congrats on playing a part in turning me into absolutely nothing for taking everything i once was and reducing it to a distant memory for making me lose all passion in the things i used to love for making me think i could trust you open up to you and hold you close to my heart just for you to turn around and absolutely ruin me i hope your happy when you see how far ive fallen i hope when you see my cuts and scars you smile at you work i hope you hear me crying and listen to it like its your favorite song to all those who have hurt me i just have to wonder why most of you i wouldve died for done anything to make sure you were happy then you turned on me treated me like garbage made me a shadow of who i was what did i do that deserved you to break me why was one time not enough i opened up to you showed you a side of me i dont show and you used it to manipulate me none of you ever cared youve made me such a small man on the inside you make me hurt on my happiest of days youve caused me to become isolated in pure fear of being broken again i trusted you you broke me so again congratulations i hope your happy when you see me broken cause at the end of the day i still want to see you happy its the worst part of me sincerelythe last few pieces of me,3.0
7692,kgrandia hey kevin please tell me some of our wonderful new media round table video survives in the wild  ,0.0
7693,tsk been there before mate made a multi lingual cms then was told by my boss to fill in the content took aaaages ,2.0
7694,on my way to work ,2.0
7695,babybish mmmm now what x men would i beweatherman  ,0.0
7696,maryannjoy sorry he only does quotdanger zonequot with noncelebs ,2.0
7697,rt whatsinthenews cctv video परेशानियों से हारकर ख़ुदकुशी करने निकला था ये शख़्स ज़िंदगी जीती मौत हारी।  rpfcr,2.0
7698,kevfp i dont know if you listen to the scene aesthetic or not so yeah  but if you do and if you wanna go you need to go too,2.0
7699,i miss them ,2.0
7700,just passing time i just turned  and for a long time ive dealt with depression i had a abusive childhood and alot of abandonment issues stemming from my mom growing up around drugs and all around bad environment bouncing from place to place the one steady thing i felt i had to turn to was my dad he passed away about  years ago from a pill addiction before he passed away i adopted my first real pet dog that helped me with my depression a few years i got another dog and things where ok still dealt with depression but not as bad in march of  my first dog passed away i felt completely lost and my depression came back ten fold then my current girlfriend of  told me she was pregnant during this time we didnt live together she kept wanting me to move in with her and her  boys which i did my whole life changed now she had the baby and my other dog is getting aggressive and acting out so we fight about the dog all the time which is making my depression worse and my anxiety through the roof she knows i wont get rid of the dog because it helps my depression i wanna be there for my baby but i cant see fighting with my girlfriend every day but its to a point where i think about suicide on a daily basis if i knew i could do it right and not feel anything i would go through with it so until  i move out with the dog or give her up im just here passing time just dont know why im even here,3.0
7701,god birds chiepping so loud and wake me ,2.0
7702,you never know when your life will change forever       ive been battling depression for at least  years now my life drastically changed in  my mother died i lost most of my friends i broke up with my gf we got back together and i changed careers to something im less passionate in but make more        my mother dying was the first person i lost that was close to me i was never particularly close to either of my parents growing up but as i grow older that has started to change i still dont know if i have fully copedgrieved fully from this       the next two things went hand in hand my friends never fully accepted my gf she did not make a good impression with most of them and honestly it was always about them not liking her more than it was them being supportive of me saying as long as im happy i do realize to some extent they thought that i was devoting all my time to her and avoiding them however their dislike for her was apparent from the start and having us all together wasnt preferred       i felt like tension inside me was building and that i would have to pick either her or them  so i broke up with her after the break up i didnt feel like myself i was hooking up with a new girl and periodically with my ex at the same time  as much as i liked the new girl i realized i did love my gf and that i left her just to make my friends happy and not me      i knew getting back with my ex would cause problems with my friends and it did to make matters worse the hook up girl was becoming better friends with my friends than my girlfriend ever had it sucked so what did i do i shut off from most of my friends for over  years       my relationship with my gf since has been good i plan on asking her to marry me later this year as she has been by my side through everything shes the only one who sympathizes with my situation but she tells me on occasion how she thinks im depressed       my job situation is stressful in my life but i feel like its easier for me to change if i want to than other stuff in my life       basically ive noticed ive had more social anxiety difficulty in decision making an inability to think clearly from time to time and just a lack of happiness in general for years now i have started to see my old friends every now and then but its not the same as it used to me and its sad i know at some point i just have to accept life has consequences and move on but sometimes its not that easy thank you for those who took the time to listen to my story ,3.0
7703,im tired i need to go home zoo i miss my friends and boyfriend  i go home monday,2.0
7704,its not that i want to kill myself but if i die i wouldnt be upset i dont think i could ever kill myself but that doesnt mean i dont want to die itd just be so much easier than disappointing everyone i love if something just happened to me and i died i know it isnt right to think like this but i cant stop,3.0
7705,stay strong btstwt  taehyung i know your sad please stay strong armys are here for you❤,0.0
7706,danalash man i had another but i lost it ,2.0
7707,headed to the gym toning and running day my least favorite ,2.0
7708,duhovel at least youre lost with good company ,0.0
7709,i really hope all the charges on david for this whole mess get dropped ,2.0
7710,just finished those good ol voice lessons grabbing a bite to eat and headed to a studio session whardhead and platinum hands ,0.0
7711,wooop ive managed to loose another  this week  total weight loss since starting the alli die  wks ago is  very happy ,0.0
7712,stacideshazer  tomorrow shortly today i always forget too thats what facebook is for my alternative was to ask you oops ,0.0
7713,im about to enter quotno mans landquot no cell phone service until morning ,2.0
7714,being alive is the worst i feel so sad and empty and alone i have nothing to rant or vent about im just hollow,3.0
7715,maybe we should boycott yorkshire until they get a clue  oh bugger that means no more yorkshire tea ,2.0
7716,paintingg  ampamp wondering why the frikk im not in dallas now,0.0
7717,i may have set a guiness record for most  of consecutive sneezes  my body will be aching tomorrow  ,2.0
7718,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
7719,although with the code on the door not working maybe they wont be able to get back in ,0.0
7720,  lmfao at kiis fm with the fans  lmfaonews,0.0
7721,fml i need to be on the internet to do my project nobody has a good wireless in bmore ,2.0
7722,do you even want to help yourself the last therapist i went to kept telling me that she cant help me unless i want to help myself of course i said i did but i dont really even know if i want to help myself when i look at all the work i would need to put in it might be a shit life but fuck it would be easier than the alternative and when ive had enough i can always end it,3.0
7723,all moms in the world congratulations ,0.0
7724,rt bybuku lord please help me trust you even when it doesnt make sense allow me to believe in you more than i believe in my plans el,0.0
7725,joe jonas is evil gt he lures me away from the revision i should be doing ,2.0
7726, bring ur ass to bed my darling hehehe ,0.0
7727, cyndi lauper � true colors  my true color tonight was red ,0.0
7728,baileemarshall im jealous ,2.0
7729,im managing again i recently went through a bad few months where i couldnt do anything i missed  exams  assignments and  weeks worth of university yesterday i went to the library for  hours and managed to write an entire assignment a takehome exam  you have  hours to do it hence the  hour stint im just feeling super proud of myself i am usually on top of unischool work so the past few months have definitely not helped i would have been finished with my first year after the takehome exam had i managed to go to uni and do the assignments however im just ready to carry on i have extensions until early june so i just need to keep going i dont know why im typing this i just feel proud positive and peaceful,3.0
7730, hi awesome ill add you to the twitter feed ,0.0
7731,hates how a certain  turns me into a spiteful bitch ,2.0
7732, who ever like true blood read the books way better ,0.0
7733,my head feels like a bowling ball   ,2.0
7734,clumsyxheart bulletproof is my fave ,0.0
7735,camilo y evaluna ya casándose y yo no encuentro ni la pareja de mis medias que sad,2.0
7736,im sick  feel so awful and i have a lot of assignments and assessments and tests and other course crap to do and deal with gt,2.0
7737,urgh its monday again ,2.0
7738,pureelite i can understand that nice work on it love it ,0.0
7739,im suffocating in my own home my house is a mess because my sister wont pick up after her toddler my mother is never home and repeatedly assures me that everything is fine even with mampms and trash all over the floor the bathroom hasnt been cleaned in a year i never get to do laundry because my mother and sister cant follow a schedule and as a result i never get to shower or do my laundryi feel filthy and like theres nothing i can do to keep this house presentable my single solace was playing dampd with my friends on the weekends but the house is so messy my brother is considering cancelling what do i do it feels like things are out of control but everyone refuses to fix them i feel like im suffocating in my own home,3.0
7740,carmenhayes you gotta take care of youwe all understand ,0.0
7741,mjschrader ill be right there with the lawnmower ill do it on my layover in dallas tomorrow whatcha cookin for dinner ,0.0
7742,youleem woooot no problem you can take it on monday  i have almost all of your yearbook page planned out,0.0
7743,is still dizzy    i blame that db at the gym for hurting me,2.0
7744,strike thatcant do pics on my phone ,2.0
7745,scottiardella thanks buddy  glad you like what im doing ,0.0
7746,shipping my xbox in for lens repair ltlt at least  gotz  stuffs all this week ,0.0
7747, sounds dope whats the dress  ur party  cant wait  c pics wish we could make eachothas events ,2.0
7748,right now i cant sleep my allergies are killing me ,2.0
7749,its fathers day when my daddy is in canada ,2.0
7750,reesemcblox i really want to be a  intern but i have a while to wait  i wish i could visit roblox hq one day,2.0
7751,yanchen sitting on the side makes me sad shouldve been top ,0.0
7752,lilyroseallen i love that song also issues is cool we can sing a long through the song ,0.0
7753,yoga for anxiety and stress  via youtube,2.0
7754,oztroublepr no cant be has it sorry ,2.0
7755,is off t bed goodnight ppl  hafta wake up early t meet yeokaixuanzxzx ,2.0
7756,betsey johnson is replacing my purse i cant believe it broke ,2.0
7757,sushi groove ,2.0
7758,wants to go home i miss darien ,2.0
7759,mariothegreat i aint telling  ,0.0
7760,heziabrass   i also have this tshirt ,0.0
7761,im sitting here watching old videos that ive made  i have  videos on another account of mine,0.0
7762,wants to go homeee ,2.0
7763,did not end up going to dc pride because her friends fail at life  ,2.0
7764,apparently this really is the worst ive looked in years nothing tonight  move along,2.0
7765,stephanngonz ive been taking naturesultra cbd oil to reduce my anxiety been taking it for close to  months af httpstcoabejbhzdgz,2.0
7766,pntbtrkisses if it helps i dont mind i appreciate any input with good intentions ,0.0
7767,stevenjiba going to so to see it i still need to see it ,2.0
7768,i hate myself i am so tired so tired i dont want to live like this anymore i dont want to be sad anymore i dont want to cry myself to sleep every single night im tired of being so unhappy im tired of feeling so useless im tired of thinking that i dont deserve to be happy i dont want to hate myself this much anymore i dont want to believe that i deserve this much hate my mental health is deteroriating i need all the help possible i dont want to feel like im dying anymore im alive but part of me has completely disappeared i want to get that part back i dont want to hate life anymore i want to be excited for tomorrow i want to be happy that there is out there an entire world that i have yet to discover i dont want to feel like i am slowly dying in this country my head is going to explode stop hating yourself tatiana please ,3.0
7769,i just dont know its all just to hard ,2.0
7770,rt cyphrkv how can i be sad when i know he exists ,2.0
7771,erickennedy why is your car going to explode  that would be so sad,2.0
7772,thereddianthus agree w you actually the real parallel is al franken facts never seem to stand in way of certain agendas ,2.0
7773,new im super sick and tired of living id like to give up but there are a few things stopping me people say they have a purpose or set path in life i think mine is just to die im not happy and i dont care id like to just give up,3.0
7774,cherrythegreat hey sabi ko nice ka ah  rxmorningrush,0.0
7775,im locked out of my house ,2.0
7776,cant even get out of bed i had therapy at  today cancelled it wanted to go to the gym at least take my dog for a walk not gonna happen i feel so sad its literally crippling i dont think anyone around me understands a shower is the hardest thing ill probably have to do today i just feel so alone and lost my boyfriend is so supportive and sweet but i feel terrible for being a weight on his shoulders or like a burden he says im not but i know i am everything just hurts ,3.0
7777,gckennedy because quotwomanquot stopped being a pc thing to attack amp malign you grab whatever can when youre drowning i guess ,0.0
7778,im so sad the bonfire tomorrow is cancelled  i was looking forward to it,2.0
7779,rt tommyhilfiggy omg i was just joking about my britney breakdown earlier but now im for real my stress level is  because of some,1.0
7780,cravings are caused by depression and cures by happiness,1.0
7781,end nothingness is reassuringemptiness is relievingvoid feels like homenoughtnonenull,3.0
7782,rt melzster to vips its okay to take a break from kpop for awhile now nobody will blame you your own mental health is the most importa,1.0
7783,mard  expendable,1.0
7784,is feeling really rough still got headache after  days needs something fun to happen to me life is so shit atm ,2.0
7785,not sure if right sub trying to help my mom and brother i  need some help or advice my brother  has been struggling with depression for a while he came to my house late one night telling me he couldnt go home he wanted to commit suicide i talk to him and my mother and took him to the er he was admitted to inpatient treatment they got him on some meds and emergency insurance as he had none he wanted to leave early because of the holidays this was right before thanksgiving and they let him leave because he had no job and no money his roommates were going to kick him out by the end of the month he was going to be homeless and we researched his options at shelter here in minnesota thinking fast my mom bought him a plane ticket he took a couple bags and move down to florida with her hes now down there living with my mom shes out of money trying to help him she pays for everything she took him to see the doctor to get him his meds refilled but hes not eligible for insurance as hes not a resident of florida yet so shes trying to pay for everything out of pocket and just meds alone is not enoughhe cant function to get a job or help out with bills hell try and have a panic attack were not quite sure what to do at this point she called me telling me she was going to wait outside a clinic in hopes of getting him some help hes not resistant to help or treatment but they have no money he knows he needs help im not sure what to do at this point it feels like i cant help with anything i dont know if hed be eligible for any sort of disability or any assistance down there he cant even get insurance or if theres any financial help for my mom as shes paying for everything by herself any advice would be appreciated thank you,3.0
7786,i had a dream i had a dream that i was with a girl and we were hugging and i felt happy and loved then i woke up and realized how sad and lonely i am ,3.0
7787,imageisfound im right there with you  the smell of seafood makes me want to hurl    yuck,2.0
7788,smelltherainbow nothin much is new in my life xcept that my footy team finally won  i think well  ,0.0
7789,cu´n incierto es el futuro are you sure time machines doesnt exist ,2.0
7790,three more days of school  short week and short days  bad news  two finals every day ,2.0
7791,going to the winnipeg airport food with the boysgirls ,0.0
7792,do i have any hope  i just feel like a complete failure in life  im  and have about  in my account and no debt  i work as a substitute and still live with my parents  they think im a complete loser as well  i have a bachelors in psychology and was in grad school but dropped out my first semester  i dont know what to do anymore  have zero passion in life about anything and just feel stuck at this  per hour job while everyone around make  in my culture  people get married at this age and almost all the people around me are already married  have zero friends and dont care to make any  everyday my parents tell me how im going to be a failure in life and are keep telling me to continue my education which i want to also but just dont know what to do  feel so stuck and lost  dont think im going to amount to anything because of my lack of motivation and im to lazy and anxious to apply to better jobs  is there any hope for me  im going to have to leave my parents house eventually  dont feel like going into teaching also ,3.0
7793,theprowler not bad thankee  hows things with you,0.0
7794,alisond apparently the official word is quotarchivedquot how sad ,2.0
7795,thankful im just appreciative of everything  lifes such a fucking trip ive had so many highs and lows and im only  depression homelessness drug addiction estranged parents toxic friends to name a few but yknow what im thankfuldepression gave me a overwhelming sense of empathy i dont just listen i feel i truly empathize with people and their stories and always aim to make a positive impression on them just in case theyre feeling like today is the day i kill myselfhomelessness made me less materialistic im forever grateful and perfectly content for just having something keeping me dry and warmdrug addiction made me aware were all prone to it i was that asian kid in elementary and middle school that was super smart and people envied i kept out of trouble and did martial arts growing up but making the wrong friends easily leads you down the wrong path of spiraling selfdestructionestranged parents made me extremely introspective since i couldnt really look out to someone for appreciation i often looked inwards and developed a better understanding of my true self the one liberated of fear of judgement fear of being labeled the weirdo i embrace who i am at the core and love myselfand the toxic friends made me cautious fuck them and fuck toxicity low tolerance for bullshitwere all just on a spinning rock suffering together and im thankful,3.0
7796,nzpost dont know if i need the sms api now that twitter and vodafone play so nicely together—after all thats what i was hoping for ,0.0
7797,tomorrow morning please dont come can just the afternoon arrive early that would be nice and stuff ,0.0
7798,angels  kelvim escobar is finally off the dl havent seen him pitch since last year major shoulder surgery boo ,2.0
7799,fabianmh if ur doin it then im gonna do it too  ur the bb king lol thx for the response bro i look  to ur updates,0.0
7800,i started and fisnihsed gossip girl yesertday ,0.0
7801,   i just lost a member of my family ,2.0
7802,zodiggity reallamarodom yayaya candy congrats as a fan that game was amazingand worth staying in on a friday to watch ,0.0
7803,am i the only one fantasizing about this  i was at the hospital after passing out and the doctor told me i have terminal lung cancer leaving me with just a few months to live so i start crying tears of joy because i can finally just peace out without the fears of real suicide and all the people that ive disappointed but who all have hung on to me are really sad and blablabla but no i wake up from this dream because i need to get to the job that i hate because i failed amp quit college amp need to repay €mo for another  years while making € so i live with my dad am very overweight havent been with a girl or had sex in more than  years my eyesight is garbage amp i have terrible acne  im  in the meantime ill try to google a good way to give me some inevitably terminal disease without it being detected by my dad before a point of no return,3.0
7804,stoppingthetime noooo  huggles,2.0
7805,betinkerbelle give it for me dunks onyah  lapey on lol,0.0
7806,feeling like im going into a hole dont know how to avoid the path of self isolating during everything right now and really scared of the feelings that are starting to come up for me dont want to trigger or overload my community right now but need some extra support and dont we allim not even scared of getting sick but very scared about how this feels like we will never experience community the same way again i was in the grocery store today and almost ran into some woman who said its like we are all startled by eachotherhow is this going to change how we connect feeling bad,3.0
7807,jessicanoelle i feel that way too sometimes what helps me is thinking that tomorrow is a new day full of new possibilities ,0.0
7808,sooooo that mango didnt fill me up  aha drink more water and my boss didnt call me back with my schedule  guhhh,2.0
7809,perezhilton no why should i ,0.0
7810,stylinprofilin omg i was about to tweet the same thing  ive blocked like  different versions  it doesnt work ,2.0
7811,catching up with old college friends its nice  lots are asking about my job amp im happy to oblige ,0.0
7812,kishorcariappa yeah it not worth  most of the time it is not them who post  then unfortunately u have to unfollow me ,0.0
7813,google still reporting my blog isnt infected with malware but serving errors to people anyway   httpbitlyelrvt,2.0
7814,wolkenmalerin  his hair sucks  not so taylors ,0.0
7815,rt luciebeexxx anxiety blows one mild interaction can be enough to totally throw a person mentally amp emotionally we dont talk about t,1.0
7816,my twattah b akkin up  ughbut tgif bout to work on my tan summo today  hollahollaholla,0.0
7817, prayers for phil mickelson wife has cancer and ken green leg getting amputated thoughts are with those guys,2.0
7818,wish i had a webcam so i could do tutorials on youtube  ,2.0
7819,this bitch cut my bangs too short ,2.0
7820,itsdeandrabitch for sure the one in la doesnt live up its always recycled stuff from orlando  do you still go to orlando,2.0
7821,chrisunscripted im running with  im about to be hopeless on finishing them ,2.0
7822,yay bubble tea and pizza for lunch and beautiful weather too bad i have to work more after this  httptwittercomaieliileiastat ,2.0
7823,scared to be lonely i dont have any bond with my parents or my family i grew up distant i never really cared about all that but now i am just feeling lonelymy parents make my life so difficult and put alot of weight on my shoulders and it is just too much now im trying to make myself more distant but i have nowhere to run to all i try to do is keep everyone happy and i try not to cause any trouble but even then they seem to blame everything that happens on me i just dont know what to do anymorei feel like i want to run away but i also dont want to lose my family ,3.0
7824,correction looks like its a wrap its already  ,2.0
7825,already almost it is to me in guitar the best day in spanish my version   i�m happy,0.0
7826,rydontlie i love you ,2.0
7827,i dislike it when security gaurds talk to me about their cats and energy efficiency air conditioners ,2.0
7828,bdsexton ha ha very funny i am just as plain and normal  as the rest of the world ,0.0
7829,today igot offered a job thats not in the service industry my mental health is so greatfulbaked brownies an ,1.0
7830,palacejackson night  x,0.0
7831,i wish there was a way of laying in the rain without getting my back dirty stupid mud ,2.0
7832,hystericaldoll i love niley ,0.0
7833,good morning to my west coast tweople and good afternoon to my east coast tweeps  ,0.0
7834,ecoleajamais in our area there tend to be more openings than new lms to fill themmany more retirements coming up  you should do well ,0.0
7835,taater  sometimes i dont get your tweets text twitter is shitty its phony,2.0
7836,roruby naw i went  da kitchen  eat some cereal found out my bro finished it so i guess i jst hav  drnk smethin amp wait til morning ,2.0
7837,this is how im spanding my new yer aye if youre alone on new years come join me and hangout ,3.0
7838,kingmao tearyeyed not even for a day to trade it over   walking away to dark corner,2.0
7839,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
7840,bubbly face  lagulagu di mustang bagussssss deh ,0.0
7841,help me understand my exs depression better my ex and i broke up about a week ago which ive detailed in another post  she struggles with severe depression and surgeries seem to be a trigger  my mom had major surgery in may and my girlfriend broke things off  days prior to it  we talked things over after surgery and smoothed things out but it didnt last  we had another minor falling out before she had her wisdom teeth removed a few weeks later then smoothed that over  i have a major surgery scheduled for monday and once again she broke things off this time a week and a half prior to my surgery  we live together and have a lease until march so the past week has been incredibly difficult  despite breaking up with me weve spent countless hours talking over the past week  at the same time shes making decisions that she never would have made before  she was an infrequent drinker once or twice a month before last week but has been out drinking with friends or family most nights since we broke up  she was going to bed at a good time and making it to work consistently until last week today she missed her first day in weeks and on a day where she had a big lunch with her bosses planned  i asked her yesterday if we could put all of our issues on hold for the next week and a half so i can be healthy and in a good frame of mind for my surgery and recovery  today she told me she wants to bring friends over to hang out at the house right after my surgery  in the nearly year weve lived together shes only had one friend over one timeit seems like every time a major surgery comes around she immediately starts a backslide  weve never had an abusive or cheating relationship yet she felt the urgent need to dump me  days before my moms surgery  when i suggested it could have waited a week she said it needed to be then  same answer when i suggested she could have dumped me after my surgery next week  she pushes me away she starts treating me in a way she wouldnt normally and is now trying to test my boundaries as i prepare to go into surgery  i dont understand whats going on and being stuck living with her for the near future its really challenging  can anyone help me understand her better  she says she loves me and wants to be there for me but then isnt  i dont get it,3.0
7842,probably going to lose my dog dont know how i feel about it im  and live with my father  and  others along with  dogs one of them is mine my mom got her  years ago for my little sis but they moved and my dad moved back in leaving the dog who is a pitbulljack russel mix and is the most loving and sweet dog ill admit she has an issue with barking at strangers but has been getting better and not barking as much anyways my mom just came into the room that i was sitting in and told me my dads landlord changed insurance companies and apparently they arent allowed to have a pitbull or a mix i love this dog and is one of the last reasons i have to live when id think of ending it i thought shell miss me and itd stave off those thoughts for a little while which is why i dont really know how i feel about it the thought of losing her sucks but on the other hand itll make it a bit easier when i build up the courage to finally end it after  years being worthless unloved and just a complete loser on one hand im upset but on the other im relieved,3.0
7843,rt shapemagazine did you know climate change affects your mental health  ,0.0
7844,its here again why cant you just leave me completely ☹️ im so tired of feeling heavy and empty at the same fucking time 😢,3.0
7845,karlaarandela i saw it on their site theyre releasing it first in north america parang ako whaaaaaat ,2.0
7846,tell me what you think comments and ratings would be nice  httpbitlyqwzfe,0.0
7847,susanboyle  i was hoping that she would won ,2.0
7848,im really an evening person when the light only starts to get dim outside i kind of glow up ,0.0
7849, my mommy is here ,0.0
7850,anxiety leave me alone for a day challenge 😘,2.0
7851,tambomanjoe i´m so excited for the next webcast but on june  i have  mathematics quiz ,2.0
7852,failing school failing friends contemplating life the triangle that keeps going around ive for about  years now been what id think is depressed i havent gotten it diagnosed so i dont know if this fits here just wanted to write me off a bit years ago i joined senior high school and to be fair its great you meet like minded people but what isnt so great is when those people turn out to be bad bad people and theyre your only friendsive hung out with them on a few occasions very few in  years ive hung out with them about  times outside of school yeah i rather stay insidethe tone within the group is very toxic one girl that i like as my friend has been put into a deep depression who im really worried about because of this toxic toneeveryday i arrive at school i get some toxic shit thrown at me as what they call a joke is calling someone fucking faggot or dickhead supposed to be funnyit isnt only to me either everyone do that shit to everyone and ive noticed most of the school do the same nowthis is about a year in on my school time and its now im starting to contemplate lifebecause of this shit im also failing school i did great the first half year when i was fresh and was still making friends but now its all just falling apartteachers and parents are getting mad because i dont study hard enoughat the current point of time i barely speak with anyone not friends because of the obvious mentioned above and not my parents because every time i try to talk about for example their day theyll shut me off asking about schoolit was nice to write myself off but i also came to ask a question if youve made it this farredditors should i keep going in school and contemplate life maybe starting to hurt myself or taking my life or should i quit school leave my friends be a failure in my family try to get a job make my family proud that way and get new friends im just under  so itll be hard to get a job as regulations in my country make it hard for teenagers to get jobs its not guaranteed so i might also become alone at home,3.0
7853,getting ready so i can go out ,0.0
7854,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
7855, big difference from when you knew me as a baby cit eh ,0.0
7856,cybormoron its almost  here sir woke up late this morning ,0.0
7857,sunshinepenguin yes i did catch it and i was full of mud  oh poor baby bird  always sad to see such things ,2.0
7858,i miss the person who abused me is it totally fucked that ive been in a constant state of suicidal thoughts for months and the only person i want to talk to about it is the guy who beat the shit out of me on my birthday the kicker is that i got an order of protection against him so we cant talk either way,3.0
7859,getting readyz then off to bamboozlee  journey was fucking epic last nighttt,0.0
7860,no twitter until the   ill be in cape cod  ,0.0
7861,my best friend has the time of his life so my best and only friend is planning on marrying his girlfriend and getting a child togetherim really happy for him but at the same time it makes me realise how shitty my own life is because im a ugly shy worthless virgin that will never get a girlfriend,3.0
7862,manic episodes so saturday night i noticed that i was in a manic state i dont think ive ever noticed before and its never been bad but what made me notice is my husband told me something funny and we were in public and it made me laugh like a lunatic literally now what he told me was mean and at the expense of a high school worker at the resturant we were at normally it probably would have been funny to me but i would have just chuckled and told him to stop being mean but since he is the one who has caused my most recent very very bad distress i feel like i was laughing too hard too loudly and too long at something that definately wasnt that funny and i kept doing it all saturday night until i fell asleep even alone and watching the movie blockers not only am i depressed but now im even more worried about my mental health because im obviously going nuts,3.0
7863,bout  leave the pool no tan ,2.0
7864,if you listen to the magnetic fields song quotmy only friendquot and then the dodos quotwinterquot what do you think ,0.0
7865,people say that killing yourself just makes it harder for everyone else in your life  so lets think of a way we can pass away without being an inconvenience lets be honest a lot of us arent going to make it out of this subreddit i know some people do have the courage and strength to turn things around and i dont want to encourage anyone but from the  years ive spent on this planet i really feel like its inevitable so objectively what would be the best way to make sure you can end your life with as little harm to others i know this would usually entail the actual process and the time before it to be really painful for me but if im going to end it it doesnt really matter,3.0
7866,im angry distressed and restless suggest something ,2.0
7867,went to mampds en now im all sun burnt ,2.0
7868,pretty excited about tweetie for mac on monday   via davidsmalley,0.0
7869,when is the jailbreak for itouch   coming out ,2.0
7870,happy cos i got an email asking about item in my blogshopyiipiiibut late reply to her  hope she will come and buy it,2.0
7871,louisephilp youre a sweetheart thank you for the holler ,0.0
7872,ashleyrowe you know i love miss rowe designs ,0.0
7873,hahahafeels  for many reasons ,0.0
7874,widereceiver nope as no one ever follows me from them ,2.0
7875,ortals thank you babe  and thanks for the candies you want me to get fat huh just kidding its very sweet ,0.0
7876,tommyreilly  lovely show in sheffield hope the rest of the tour goes well  x,0.0
7877,atypical depression so ive been recently diagnosed with atypical depression so what are the meds that are usually prescribed for this type of depression im on cipralex because i was firstly diagnosed with mddso i wanna know your experience with diagnosistreatment,3.0
7878,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
7879,debce    im holding you to it  thanks for the kind wishes on my networking endeavors,0.0
7880,im  and i feel lost now dont get me wrong im saying i have depression or anything in fact im usually a happy funny guy but for the past month ive been feeling so down in the weather ive contemplated suicide before i think i might have depression but im not self diagnosing anyways i was feeling alright until i played the game doki doki literature club damn is that game so good but it made me super fucking depressed only because spoilers on the game ahead a girl named sayori hangs herself and the ending is so sad too when monika writes a song for you i dont know i really just need a second opinion,3.0
7881,mutenice thebradfordfile get help for your trump anxiety disorder,0.0
7882,katiehonan its worst of course the anxiety is messing with my tenses,2.0
7883,emmaawatsonn   u know the feeling is mutual sweetie ,0.0
7884,doinitwell nooooooooooo not me  no way  just an expression ,0.0
7885,i wanna kill myself but im not depressed i feel like theres no reason to live because i have no purpose and all my problems will go away if i die but i dont hate myself enough to do it  does that make sense  ,3.0
7886,only week and im off to rhodes greece  it has been ages since my last proper vacation,0.0
7887,if i had the opprotunity to meet uh huh her id probably be too shy to say anything im such a dork id be like super intimidated ,2.0
7888,listening to   you belong with me  while im worrying about the exam  ,2.0
7889,shonabonny so like am i in the dog house or have just been kicked outta da yard period this is killin me ,2.0
7890,i feel pretty lousy i may be done for the day already despite a ridiculously late start ,2.0
7891,exams are over three weeks of bordem ,2.0
7892,tymlee anytime it was a great link really entertaining ,0.0
7893,is loving this weather and my new dress ,0.0
7894,afk for a whilethat lousy  letter word work calls ,2.0
7895,  i sooo cant wait d it looks soooo good ,0.0
7896,nickjewell in fact full screen mode is even cooler ,0.0
7897,  nfs  underground  finished ,0.0
7898,not even safe in sleep sometimes i suffer from sleep paralysis and it never gets less scary it didnt help that i woke up from a dream where people were telling me i wasnt good enough and i couldnt get back to sleep for three hours but sp doesnt feel like falling asleep for me it feels like something trying to pull my brain out of my skull i was trying to keep from falling asleep and thats when the voices started there were three or four of them all telling me how no one wants me i ruin everything im nothing etc it started off as a whisper and turned into a roaring waterfall of voices screaming at me that i dont deserve to live if i wouldve had a gun or anything else i wouldve tried to end it right there i cant take anything like that again if it happens again im writing my note ,3.0
7899,wish i could do dcth for once but im off to my biz comm class ,2.0
7900, one of our two carp died today he is more than  feet long and looked healthy otherwiseit has been really hot here not enough oxygen,2.0
7901,why doesnt anyone ever miss me ,2.0
7902,so excited ,0.0
7903,snappan not sure wanna go too ,0.0
7904, good morning my friend ,0.0
7905,nothing like plain pizza in square shapes  ,0.0
7906,tessaelle im rreplying  wow i get it now d,0.0
7907,rt ziwe sadgressive adj a moment of progressive social reform that is sad when you consider contextsentence it is sadgressive th,0.0
7908,kdreww have a good trip see you when you get back youre gunna wanna tweet when youre over there but you cant  wheres your layover,2.0
7909,pixelyzed that will have to remain quiet for a week or so ,0.0
7910,janissharp dr who is one of the best shows around i was watching the xmas special with kylie and its fab will be sad to see tenant go ,2.0
7911,cure to depression hi all i just found something intresting so sharing  please watch something really funny like u tube funny videos of animals or kids acting or anythn funny cz it will help us in smiling laughing n at least we will have something to laugh everyday  please try n lets see ig it works ,3.0
7912,mzsullivan catch some zs fa ya boy since i cnt nap rite now ,2.0
7913,finals then louisiana ,0.0
7914,simply numb ya know those pinsampneedles when your foot falls asleep thats how i feel emotionally  mentally its all numb the abuse from my nparents stopped effecting me years ago not having friends or a social no longer makes me lonely likewise any good doesnt change my affect it is a pain by proxy like stubbing your toe while that foot is still asleep i know it is damaged but i dont even feel it at this point most of the time i dont even feel that i dont feel it this hollowness isnt badnor goodit simply is grass is green the sky is up so things arenothing hurts but nothing brings pleasurein all honesty im doing nothing with my life im not employed im lying about going to school i have no hobbies no social life im simply living one moment to the next seeing what happens along for the ridepeople have told me to take control to grab the steering wheel and get on track to living sometimes something inside snaps and i breakdown and i want it to change i try to change things only to feel like im driving on ice to have the ice crack the freezing water swallow me up back to the frozen nebulous numbed depths,3.0
7915,so i slept in a littlewell a lot whooops ,0.0
7916,help please i have been in judo my entire life recantly i have gotten injury that is restricting me from doing sport for the next two years i am having trouble with sleeping thoughts of suicide and i have been struggling to find motivation to do anything please help ,3.0
7917,such a gorgeous and strong woman ,0.0
7918,almostsurprised my feet hurt too ,2.0
7919,kensingtonroyal barackobama thank you both for emphasizing mental health needs,1.0
7920,facebook turning into friendster already  i hate people who simply add me,2.0
7921,chrisdaughtry i have an idea if u release the songs of the  and the  albums unrealesed songs in one album it would be great ,0.0
7922,haleycairns roberts gonna have someone cut an identical piece for the base for me ,2.0
7923,these are the moments i want to last forever ,0.0
7924,wishing  miles and  days didnt seem so far off ,2.0
7925,catarinem really  sweet  ill be awesome,0.0
7926,itsmusictime thats a dead link for me ,2.0
7927,runn through my itunes i need more music ,2.0
7928,fell asleep at  woke up at  yawn good party ,0.0
7929,jasminxx its ite  hes in the great fishybowl of the sky now  im sorry about your grampa ,2.0
7930,can you live my life for me if it were possible to get another person to live for me id breathe a lot easier of course its not possible even if it were id hate for them to have to deal with my mistakes i just wish someone could live for me then my nother could have the kid she wanted my friends could have their supportive and nice friend back hell i bet my house plants would be happy as well if someone could take my place i would happily just rot away ,3.0
7931,loading up my ipodhave to have something to do on the drive to camp concord ,0.0
7932,ขอเชิญผู้สนใจเข้าร่วมการประชุมวิชาการสุขภาพจิตนานาชาติ ครั้งที่  ประจำปี  สุขใจ วัยทำงาน  mental health in ,0.0
7933,for real since when is anxiety trendy and a white girl problem ,1.0
7934,hey ashleegoodman ru gonna post the new jonas episode like no one has it   your source to jonas live chat live gt ,2.0
7935,going home from dorthe to my house to eat dinner then back  dorthe to do homeworks and have fun  xoox,0.0
7936,i dont know how to broach the subject i think im having a horrible major depressive episode and im perpetually feeling suicidal but im not quite sure how to bring up the subject to my family they always talk about how proud they are of me and i feel like if i told them they would be so disappointed especially my mom i used to get treated for my depression it was a drain on our finances so we stopped once i got better my mom recently started seeing a therapist and taking antidepressants and im worried that if i told her about how i was feeling shed stop her own treatment so that she could afford to help me i dont really want to talk to her about this but i dont think i can go on what should i say how can i bring this up,3.0
7937,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
7938,online na me just pm me  ,0.0
7939,hole coffee revision once i wake up it might be quite a productive day ,0.0
7940,doh hope in british rail system misplaced should be  mins from london but only just left nuneaton ,2.0
7941,what makes you truly happy when i am really sad what cheers me up is listening to some peacefulambient music from my favourite videogames from back in the day like oblivion fallout skyrim witcher pillars of eternity it truly calms me makes me feel like i am a protagonist in a beautiful story takes away my mind from this horrible world and brings me a little moment of joy,3.0
7942,ughh im so sleepy but i cant sleep ,2.0
7943,depressed i have been depressed for as long as i can remember every morning its the same routine take my pills and face the day i am so goddamn tired of it and my thoughts have only been of ending my life i think about it all the time how easy it would be to just disappear nobody would care or miss me i could just stop feeling all this pain everything would end i could finally have peace ,3.0
7944,chessmyantidrug when im dealing with depression my firstworldproblems arent so small to me u dont know what i ,1.0
7945,how do you explain your depression to family and friends my parents come from a generation where talking about mental health was a bit taboo my mom is trying to understand my depression but i can tell she still isnt getting it she just thinks im sad all the time for some specific reason there really is no big reason and it isnt even being sad all the time she asked me if i had any trauma that i never told her about and still didnt really believe me when i told her no my psychiatrist and therapist told me to explain it as a chemical imbalance but a lot of ppl think its bs i also dont know how to explain my existential depression have you guys had any luck getting people to understand what youre going through,3.0
7946,had a shower and now wearing the weirdest hairstyle ever  i look like a palm tree or an animal   gonna watch a movie xxx good night ,0.0
7947,should really be reading policy and stuff though   maybe later when its not nice out  where shall i cycle today,2.0
7948,just tired and bored there is nothing i can do in my life that brings me long term happiness or sense of purpose things i used to enjoy like video games and basketball i cant do for over  minutes without getting frustrated and unmotivated i dont do anything and dont talk to anyone,3.0
7949,just did all the dishes including all of my roomies and cleaned off the counters my mama would be so proud ,0.0
7950,rt bomsalbum just imagine how bom was feeling all these years being witch hunted for taking medicine for her mental health not being ab,0.0
7951,thank you for following tweeple ,0.0
7952,ive begun to give up hope on doing anything well i literally cannot do anything right anymore cannot do anything well  is just going to be a reminder of how much time ive wasted maybe this isnt right to throw my thoughts out but i just need to vent i think with the new year of  here i honestly feel that i should be something more than i was excluding wisdom gained from aging growing up i was a huge gamer and i love games always have ive also loved going into different skills and hobbies including cooking drawing instruments and others then comes  i just lose my ability to do everything the people around me say that what i do is good but that just isnt true theyre just being nice and cant see that the numbers just dont add up i cooked a steak for my family a while back and while they said they enjoyed it when i took a bite i honestly felt like breaking down just a little it was so god awful that i told them i refuse to eat it i got up and walked away didnt eat dinner that night i just wanna feel good at something anything the one thing i thought i had some sort of skill some sort of worth was in games i grew up with it played years worth so why do i suck so damn badly mobas i just seem to never be able to do the right thing at the right time constantly being flamed fpss people constantly ask if im intentionally deranking mmos i cant even do the end game content because i just dont have the items to do it and i refuse to pay to win i usually dont let the negativity get to me but now i just feel so fricken worthless i cant do anything not even interact with people like i used to i lost practically everyone i used to know and they moved on everyone does eventually i dont know if im depressed but i feel like my worth is zero to none at this point i told myself for the longest time  is gonna be my year my strongest year yet im a day in and i already feel like giving up pathetic right,3.0
7953,my phone is pretty much dead it has one bar left on the battery  and i forgot my charger so i think i should sleep,2.0
7954,  m m� p� l�ng p qu� ,2.0
7955,well good morning time to go to starbucks before work and then quite a cardio intense afternoon  have a great day ,0.0
7956,rt magikarpfish whats anxiety likewell the fears start coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming and they don,1.0
7957,yay my sunburn is nearly all gone  but boooo no one that i actually wanna talk to is on msn ,2.0
7958,i feel like theres no good future i honestly feel like theres no good future all i see is having to work every day for the next  years maybe only having one day a week off and having and yet still having no time to myself its all ive ever seen anyone do and i cant bring myself to do it ive been told im lazy goodfornothing as i dont want to work maybe theyre right but i just cant bring myself to work which i hate just to barely live this isnt living and if its the only way i dont want this life anymore ,3.0
7959,kyliemariel i got too excited that last comment totally didnt make sense but awwwwwww so cute its raining now hehehe   ,0.0
7960,ahmnohere matthewday im very well thankyou ,0.0
7961,glennbeck excited to see you and youre not overweight and not sweaty dont listen to those quothatersquottheyre just jealous ,0.0
7962,silentangst quota roller coaster stimulatorquot everyone laughed at me  i was supposed to say quotsimulatorquot ahahahaha,2.0
7963,so instead of running i just spent copious amounts of time buried in the code of my website epic nerd fail  i suck,2.0
7964,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
7965,criminal justice is done muddafukkkkkas geography econ and computer science left to go ,2.0
7966,theres something just so awesome about finishing your work for the day you can go to bed ,0.0
7967, yes i did and it was a good experience ,0.0
7968,would really like some alcohol right now ,2.0
7969,duboisnicolas hey congrats ,0.0
7970,is there a venue in canberra other than cube that plays house music i miss sydney  ♫ ,2.0
7971,hrm scanner traffic diminishes greatly when your public services are on strike ,2.0
7972,how can i best help my girlfriend with depression really need advice tldr girlfriend has bad depressive episode and im not sure what to do since i live far away what can i do  hey guys so ive been dating my girlfriend for  months now and i really love her more than anything but recently shes been having a really bad depressive episode that she barely talks to me and shes constantly frustratedannoyed and she has told me where she doesnt like me as she did before   shes had depression for the past  or so years shes had episodes of depression throughout our relationship but none as bad as it is right now   i feel like this was triggered because we had hit a rough patch and we fought alot late last year coupled with the start of uni and the pressure to apply for internships and other extra curricular activities and because of that shes constantly stressed and anxious leading to her not wanting to talk to anyone or get out of bed to do things which just stockpiles onto her stress   she has told me that she feels better when im around but the thing is we live about an hour away by car and i cant afford to be driving down a few times every week fuel costs are high and i have other commitments that i need to attend to i just wanted to ask for advice she seems like shes pushing me away and im not sure how to help her because she keeps pushing me away  she doesnt want to call over the phone and gets really annoyed whenever i say sorry i cant come down is this normal pls help i really am unsure of what to do    thanks guys really appreciate any form of advice,3.0
7973,im holding back tears of happiness right now i want to scrreeeaaammmm ,0.0
7974,just woke up feel like someone punced me in the face ,2.0
7975,at home pretty worried it sucks to not have a car ,2.0
7976,now just waiting n waiting again ,2.0
7977,holiday booked and now i have  tickets for nin that i cant do anything with ,2.0
7978,mental orders are a serious thing if you think you have one or more please check medically your health and your feelings are important,0.0
7979,blood dripping im literally laying here with blood my arm i just dont know what to do anymore im alone scared of a change for me there is only one out and im not ready for it yet,3.0
7980, still drinking hockey game over ,0.0
7981,more of policestate britain   policestate,2.0
7982,timjahn hopefully we wont rain out but you should get on a team were iowa hawkeyes ,0.0
7983,how to manage the stress and  anxiety article selfhelp new approach  ,2.0
7984,sitting here at homewishing i was with my ex bf i hate break ups ,2.0
7985, thank you for that one  hope you have a great day,0.0
7986,  youve got quite the set up  ,0.0
7987, what is it with these companies only giving half an hour for lunch  wtf  past tense so we not friends anymore   ,2.0
7988,its been a while lol lovin the new pad and enjoying the freedom ,0.0
7989,paragsarfare hey what is up  ,0.0
7990,come back of holiday friday saw george sampson strike  fugativeee   probbs good  xx,0.0
7991,lolgabi gabiii  are you in new york ,0.0
7992,goodnight world ,0.0
7993,bgt that poor kid ,2.0
7994,spurofmoment the last book i read was a signed copy of the chaser annual  ,0.0
7995,not sure if i wanna end my life or get help i am i have been struggling with depression since i was  or  and now im really set on not wanting to live anymore ive heard all the stories and that sometimes you end up realizing even if we know what it takes to make us happy then what does it matter if it takes hard work i just dont have any intrest in life even if it is because im too selfish and childish to want to go through the struggles of life thats how i feel but i also dont have the heart to do it because i dont wanna affect the people around me like friends and family and i also dont actually want to end my own life rather just disappear or hope a truck flies through my house and kills me im so disinterested in life even this post is really halfed ass but ive also realized that sitting on the fence between ending my own life and not because of the pain it could or will cause my family and friends is the absolutely worse most painful place to be im not sure what to do im seeing a therapist and obviously he recommends not ending my life and is doing everything he can but its not easy to just say nah life is worth living when i really have  intrest in it,3.0
7996,could this day in by any slower of worse and to make things better i dont undertand anything in spanish class  help,2.0
7997,anxiety attack,2.0
7998,just clipped the straightener on my ear  ouch,2.0
7999,my computer crashed booooooooo ,2.0
8000,angelsab i dont tweet all that much i dont think i mostly just read and reply to other peoples tweets ,0.0
8001,is in the study zonejust a few more days and its all overuntil it all starts again ,0.0
8002,ahaha  wassuh twitiess,0.0
8003,jonasobsessedx yea  haters reported their channel ,2.0
8004,greggrunberg i fee your pain its lady ga ga and it will drive you insane oh dear god her songs are in my head ,2.0
8005,crazy core skittles are intense intensely amazing and yummy ,0.0
8006,todays the day its a long wait between now and  pst quotthe waiting is the hardest partquot ,0.0
8007,up waaayyy too early this morning guess i will get some stuff done around here before i head to work ,0.0
8008,lauracarneyxo aww  that is a long time i would have like died if i went that long wo seeing him  omg it is epic such a ,2.0
8009,ive been feeling terrible all weekend because i had such a good time last friday first of all i want to make it clear that this is more of a vent than anything advicereplies and such are absolutely welcome but im here more to just whine into the void than anything else this isnt a serious problem and im sure ill get over it i just need to get it outi went to a gig last friday one of my favourite bands was supporting this other band that i kinda like but i was really there for the support band it was in this super cramped room at a local club but it was so good i was stood right at the very front directly in front of the bass player they all played so well and it was such a beautiful feeling getting to watch them in person theyre a pretty small band they only have a couple eps out and rarely tour outside of america ive been following them for the best part of  years and had seen pictures and videos from their gigs all the time and the fact that they had come all the way from america to play shows here in the uk  not only that but a  minute walk from where i live  was almost too good to be trueid do anything to be back in that room again ive felt so empty and sad ever since i got home that night id been looking forward to that gig since i bought tickets in october and had been wanting to see them since long before that then i went and saw them for half an hour and then they were gone in a way i miss them i didnt meet any of them or talk to them or anything besides briefly on instagram but i really miss themevery time ive listened to their music or looked at their instagram since then its made me feel sad i normally love their music and seeing what theyre up to but for some reason seeing them now and i suppose knowing that its going to be a long time before they come back here really makes me feel badlike i say that was on friday night its now monday the last weekend has been miserable for me i had such a good time at that show all ive done since then is sit around in my room occasionally go for a short walk playing my guitar a little bit and its all so dull compared to friday i spent the whole day hyped and excited as heck i walked around past the venue and around town in the morning just kinda half hoping id run into one of the members and then i went home and listened to their albums in the afternoon they only have about an hour of music released then obviously i went to the show and now ive just felt terrible ever sincei kinda feel like i didnt make the most of it i was at the front which was great but i really wish id stayed behind a little afterwards to meet them i left as soon as the main band finished and even as i was walking home i thought that i should go back and hang around a little it really gets at me to think they were probably still there and i could have met them if id just waited a few minutes instead of immediately leavingi love them so much i hate the fact that its going to be another year at the least until they come back here i want to meet them and tell them how great they are and how much i love everything they do but i doubt im going to get any chance to for ages now,3.0
8010,at interesting conference but it seems a crazy christian guy has chosen same wshops and keeps taking over with irrelevant religious chat ,2.0
8011,contractorslim send me one please they only have moonshine and beer here ,2.0
8012, deffinately late is much better than never ,0.0
8013,going to the hospital  damn,2.0
8014,jennysmyname im proud of you too jenny ,0.0
8015,yorksville yeah til you come home with  tins of artichoke hearts and a can of whiskas ,2.0
8016,luxorlv aww wish i lived in vegas ,2.0
8017,liselove thank you very much ,0.0
8018,mamitabb lol their song sure is quite catchy and all but please dont do some fotd inspired by their make up ,0.0
8019,delphi  refactoring doesnt seem to like declaring variables of userdefined types ,2.0
8020,is gettin reacquainted with  of true blood and reading the  book cant wait to start    i want a southern accent how bout u,0.0
8021,laying in bed talking to the boyfriend the sound of his voice is so relaxing  goodnight  summer  hours,0.0
8022,estrogen quotblippo  thanx a long family day gquot  cool  y shouldnt birds sing httptinyurlcomccoglo ♫ ,0.0
8023,rt thegabbieshow time flies when youre having anxiety,2.0
8024,hellacious thunderstorm moving overhead time to shut down the laptop amp think about some dinner back later friends tweet responsibly ,0.0
8025,twettybaby bet awards   featjayhehe ,0.0
8026,holy shit  we should go to the opening,0.0
8027,adamjt wow i didnt even put that together haha that would be awesomeyou can come visit me every day ,0.0
8028,totally ready for some rampr by the pool  i  summer,0.0
8029,rt greatheretic zahid poured kerosene on a girl and set her alight he had been harassing her for longthen zahid committed suicide ht,2.0
8030,heilpern i just cant get it to sound right sometimes wsports games  too much crowd noise and bass ,2.0
8031,poem   the working week i want to stop playing nowthis game which has no endi badly want to change thingsbut the rules just do not bendi want to give myself the time i needi only have one shotbut the days are snatched away from meas i sit idly smoking potthe rigidity of the working weekthe smothering of free willthe urge to run so far awaybut the need to pay that bill,3.0
8032,i really want ghoul trooper skull trooper and or renagade raider sad thing is i was playing then but didnt want ,0.0
8033,what are some things you do to help you get out of the fog hi all first time posting here ive been suffering from depressionanxiety since seventh grade but recently ive been having more issues with it ive really been struggling to pull myself out of the fog of not feeling motivated and just wanting to do nothing all the time any tips on how to maybe help with thatps i am currently on antidepressants and havent had too much trouble with symptoms until classes started back up again last fall ive tried seeing if i can get an appointment with a psychologist but most have at least a five month wait because its a college town surprise surprise people are struggling with their mental health ,3.0
8034,  my nephew the baseball player ,0.0
8035,rt lysslock every time i think about teachers pay i get legitimately sad why is one of the most crucial jobs for the well being of soc,0.0
8036,arkaen first three bosses about as far as any logical ulduar pug can get ,0.0
8037,how do i keep going what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning i feel like theres nothing anymore,3.0
8038,is boreddd of revisingg ,2.0
8039,morning all off to middlesbrough music live today hope it doesnt rain ,2.0
8040,brittneyparss youre missing ellen  its so funny ,2.0
8041, i want it back as well so much fun bring on southend ,0.0
8042,i cant decide which im more sad about jon and kate separating or ed mcmahon dieing ,2.0
8043,i have no reason to be depressed but i just am so for context im  and in collage at the moment ive been suffering with self diagnosed depression im not sure if its depression for sure but i recently stoped trusting people and doing everything i can to avoid people i stopped eating out and going out with friends when i have to buy groceries i go at  or  am so nobody will be in my local walmart i went from playing video games from maybe  or  hours a day to  to  hours a day i cant find a reason for my change in behavior nothing happened that i would consider traumatic or scarring im honestly not sure i know im becoming mentally ill but i dont have anyone close enough i feel comfortable reaching out to or the money to be able to see a therapist,3.0
8044,my story religious trauma story my story first post everhello to someone who might read this it feels weird to do this but i want to tell my story to people who might understand im not professionally diagnosed but i definitely have deep emotional and mental problems please dont tell me to seek out professional help i want to have therapy so so bad i know that i need help but for now its not possible because if i would ask my parents they would tell me i should pray to god and he would fix the phase i have but i assure you as soon i get the opportunity to seek out professional help without my parents knowing im going to as long as that is impossible im trying to figure out what is going on with me on my own i did so much research during quarantine because i started to question my sense of self especially my identity and endet up having an internal crisis i thought my issues werent that deep because i never was physically abused and technically everything in my life was fine i had clothes food and an overall loving family on the surface and i played it down because i thought someone like me cant call their experiences trauma because i was never hit nor bullied generally people liked me because i was a massive people pleaser and still do it but its gotten better or at least they were nice to me my parents supported me helped me out when i needed money for something and now there are two parts of me fighting the one part that knows exactly how fcked up i really am and the other part that tells me im exaggerating that i should stop overthinking and stop being ungrateful im torn and i hope to find at least one person who kind of understands me i feel like no one could ever get me because my trauma doesnt feel validated even though i found out that the part of the brain that is responsible for physical pain is also responsible for emotional pain it still feels like i dont deserve to be heard because on the surface everything was perfectly fine and even though i talked to friends about it and they really helped me they still told me to be grateful that i was well liked and no one directly hurt me but i cant i cant look at the positive aspects and live normally it affects my life it affects the person i am it shaped me i cant concentrate and it got worse and worse with time i have emotional outbursts that i learned to hide im constantly on guard and dont feel safe in my house because i constantly think my parents could find out something that im hiding fro them i can never relax no matter where i am except when im at my boyfriends house and i know no one is going to be at home for a longer period of time i feel like im not worth it i feel ugly on the inside and outside and i hate myself for coping by overeating im not obese nor anything near it but if i continue to eat how i eat without going to the gym it could happen i feel like i have to be the main motherfigure to my sisters because my mum so is emotionally detached that i dont want them to think that what she does is real love but the worst thing is how distant i feel from my emotions and myself does a myself even exist can i ever be it i feel numbed out and drained even though i do nothing all day but distracting myself as good as i can i feel like i never achieved anything and that i never will everything is overwhelming and so hard to do even the littlest homework or task thats why i have a pile of work in my emails and in the back of my mind that stresses me the hell out but i just cant get myself to do it unless it has a deadline and even then i tend to it last minute i feel weak stupid and misunderstood and i think to myself if that continues all my good marks are going to drop and then my parents are going to be a problem even on the surface im doing my alevels class of  in germany i was born here right now and i just feel like i cant do it and it is required from me that i get prestigious degree even though i would rather pursue a singing career that was the longest introduction i ever wrote but it needed to be at least written down somewhere so what is the big deal what am i complaining about ill try to create a chronological order and to remember everything crucial but i yesterday realized that im missing blocks of time in my memories even from recent times it all started even before i was born my parents found each other through friends and got together my mum lived in kazakhstan before moving to germany i still dont exactly know why and my father lived in siberia before moving to germany his and my uncles parents wanted to prevent them from having to fight in a war zone and so they happened to live in the same city and then metthey got together and married then their neighbors invited them to go with them to a russiangerman evangelical church and they ended up being members then i was born and everything was perfect i was in church every sunday from the moment my mother could leave the hospital i never knew anything different and as soon as i was able to be separated from my mother for  hours i was with other children in my age while the adults were attending the big service and then the indoctrination started i dont remember much from my time in church or the cult as i call it now from the time before i was  i only remember my time in school which is very odd to me but what do i know i just remember being a people pleaser from the start and everything they taught us but there arent much of clear memories i was good at being a people pleaser now its easy for me to approach people and connect on a surface level but at what price its scary to me that my memories are so blurry i dont even know who i was friends with or if i even had friends before the age of i just remember that i wanted to be perfect in gods eyes i wanted to be the perfect example of a girl who loves jesus with all her heart i wanted people on church to look at me and think that i will make it far in my faith and i achieved that i think but now i hate my past self for caring so much so what where we taught there god created the world jesus died for my sins and resurrected after three days the bible is the only truth and the only way i must live everything else is the devils work and even though they didnt say it in particular but that our church is the only one to teach the real truth and that every other church doesnt have god in it and immediately leads to hell and damnation we were taught that the secular world was highly dangerous and as soon as were not following one of gods the churchs rules were open for demons to attack us and to make it short you could sin by thinking something so we were taught to somehow control our thoughts but give full control to god over every little aspect in our live because everything is predestined and we dont have control about anything anyways but were still responsible for our actions somehow and still have a free will granted from god while writing this i really understand how contradicting this is and it was a core beliefe of mine when an adult who looked after you as a toddler tells you this and there are  people who all believe it wholeheartedly you try to justify it until you really cant anymore and then everything shatters losing faith in something that was so deeply intertwined with your whole existence is like a part of you just died even though you know how ridiculous it was believing in it and you still feel stupid for not realizing it earlier so in a nutshell everything bad you do is because youre not saved because for someone who is really saved its physically impossible to sin no matter how and automatically fully your fault but when you achieve something its because god did it youre never capable of doing or achieving something on your own youre even unable to think in the right good way so youre basically nothing and unimportant but when you come to god he gives you a purpose he specifically chose for you you matter to him youre worthy of his love and even though we were taught he is forgiving to everyone and almost everything if you only follow him everywhere he leads you another bizarre contradiction they teach little children youre nothing but with god youre worthy it makes me unbelievably mad that there are gradually more and more children who grow up believing this who are taught that demons the devil and hell are around every corner to take them and torture them for eternity if they slip up one tiny bit thats why i cried myself to sleep for years begging god to forgive me for saying sht one time or thinking in my head that i wanted to kiss a boy not speaking of being attracted to a girl because of course anything then straight marriage within my church is wrong yes i was expected to have a boyfriend within church and if he was in the world i had to convince him to go to church and he has to love god we werent allowed to date before  and of course no premarital sx but they took it further to prevent it all costs you werent allowed to be alone in a room with your so before marriage so nothing could possibly happen holding hands and short hugs were allowed when engaged so if you grew up there find a boyfriend and get engaged as fast as possible because if you fall in love it must be gods plan because you wanna fck and then marry as fast possible you had to be together at least a year and then be engaged for at least half a year to have your first kiss ever if you werent sinful i front of everybody when the pastor says you may kiss the bride we were taught that god wants us to be pure and learn to value our partners personality they told us girls that if we had a sexual relationship before marriage you would never know if he really loves you or just wants your body and that every guy outside church would never love us for our personalitiesanother contradiction these young adults rush into marriage not because they think wow i really value my partner as a person no theyre sxdriven teenagers lying to themselves which is absolutely not their fault of course no one is appreciating anything and if they are theyre very lucky because there were maybe  people in your age range that you could end up with girls were also taught to save themselves because we are like chewing gum and if youre all chewed up your godly future husband wouldnt want you wouldnt he we were told we were pure glasses of water and if we sleep around before marriage or even with only one person every time dirt would fall into our pure water and no one wants to drink dirty water but the one thing that stuck with me that my mother and later on more older women told me was every time you sleep with a man he takes a part of your soul with him thats why there should be only one guy from the start so that you dont end up losing your soul the thought of that terrified me to the core and i believed it now i know its bullsht but it was in my head constantly for  years we were told to cover up so guys dont sin with their eyes and thoughts kneelength skirts and shorts were allowed and i always hated how they looked on me and you had to cover your belly and your shoulders at all cost cleavage was obviously not allowed and so werent tight clothes only skinny jeans not leggings especially when you had a little bit more chest and if you dared to show a little tiny bit of skin no matter how hot summer was even if it was accidental youd get in trouble for iti was in that godforsaken building almost everyday except for wednesdays where we would meet up with our local little group of girls there was a leader a few years older then us and im glad mine wasnt as controlling as others and didnt force me too much to work in different groups in church and discuss what our beloved i could vomit remembering him and his sleazy and narcissistic behavior pastor taught us last sunday i was involved in worship and my love for singing kind of saved me because thats the only thing i really did because i myself wanted it i danced which was ok it was workout for me and not dancing for god when i think about it i looked after toddlers once month during service with other women i was in the theater group and when there was an event for teenagers i was responsible for leading a group of other teenagers to organize it so everything was done and standing where it belongs i liked organizing so i was lucky they just positioned me there but it still was hella stressful and i played the pianowhich i didnt really enjoy so there are the basics i was heavily involved with  you move from being with children to the big service and youre finally old enough to be part of all the cool things the teenagers did but then youre also constantly stressed out which worsened every year because obviously school got harder but also church demanded more and more and suddenly you were thrown into highly responsible tasks which drained you when i was  i started to constantly have headaches i started drinking coffee because i was exhausted of not being able to sleep being stressed out and constantly worried that someone would find out my secrets and now i need a very strong one for it to workbecause in school i was someone else i had a different name in school my real name in church the pastor required my parents to introduce me with a very far away nickname from my real name because it sounded like a name in the bible that an evil person had and if id be called that it would curse me i did and said what i wanted it increased gradually because i still tried to be myself which you could be in church no  in school but obviously couldnt do that because no one can  i thought i was being myself i school and maybe that was myself when i was  but i still was the most severe case of a people pleaser and i always endet up in dependent toxic friendships because i could never say anything against them i had no one else who was close to me so that also hurt me even though i didnt notice at the time people abused my kindness because in church they told us we had to be nice and i could do at least that so i held on to being nice to everyone helping everyone and inviting people to come to church who were remotely close to me which still embarrasses me the most but you get in trouble when youre not inviting people im so glad i was in a very accepting class no one was ever really bullied just mocked for a few things maybe which i was for being in that church and they told me early on its a cult you believe in crazy sht stop going there but we were taught that people who are afraid of the truth always say that school was kind of a safe place for me even if i had toxic friendships and got hurt a few times because we live about  kilometers away from church the cult lol and no one i knew from there could see me and even though we were taught that god could see everything and is always reading our thoughts i didnt feel very watched i was scared shtless when i wore something in school we werent allowed to wear in church and i thought i saw someone i knew so i felt better in school then at home and thats why my definition of home is something entirely different then that of people who grew up in an emotionally safe home so what was living in my home like im the first daughter of three and therefore my fathers precious first born i learned really fast that just keeping quiet smiling and doing what im told is the best way to avoid any more stressful situations i hated every form of confrontation and i still dowhen i was as young as  my father threatened to hit me with a belt and did it a few times but i stopped misbehaving or questioning so no one yelled at me anymore and no one told me to stand in a corner without looking around so i just learned to not show my emotions at all at home because emotions cause trouble and distress they also told us that god and our own intellect which is controlled by god must lead us emotions come out because of the devil my father was in control of everything and to this day hes still extremely sxist rcist homophobic transphobic etc you name it and he still thinks i have exactly the same opinions as him he is very critical of my boyfriend but because he puts on a facade in front of my father as i do my father likes him my parents more my father still dont want me to have anything premarital even though they are less strict then before so yeah i cant ask for birth control because then they would not let me see my bf as i said my father is very controlling and has a very high opinion of himself because he is providing for our family he doesnt have to do anything regarding the house this is on the woman and the four girls in his house because thats what god made us for popping out babies cleaning und cooking but i still have to have a degree and a high paying job and then i ask myself what do you want from me what in church we learned that you have to find a job that gives you enough time to be as active as possible in church while giving birth to as many children as possible and managing your whole household completely alone because your husband is by gods law above you and there to lead you how remarkably generous of you to lead me because i cant decide on anything ever due to always thinking i dont have control anyways thats why i need to plan everything obsessively and always know and control whats going oni idolized my father until the realization that we dont have any emotional bond slowly reached me until it hit me hard i had to organize my phone a certain way and delete massages so in case he would want to go through it he wouldnt find anything he wanted me to be his perfect showdaughter who has good marks and serves god with all of her existence and he really did that in front of him i am what he wants me to be i dont know what my mother wants she just does what my father tells her and silently agrees to what he has to say maybe i learned to behave in that way because she did im honestly sorry for her because she never had a chance to study anything that could make her independent because of moving to germany with  or  and not being able to speak the language very well i could cry because no matter how brutal this sounds her life is over in a way she is what i never want to be whenever they told us how our future will look like i had a kind of panic that i never felt before at the time i suppressed that but when i think back my heart rate goes up and i feel like i need to run as fast as i can and thats why i hate to be dependent on someone but weirdly i still end up in situations where im highly dependent another thing that i can maybe explain now is my reaction to my grandfathers death he was more of a father to me then my own and his and his wifes home which i also deeply loved felt safe when i was  years old my grandmother my grandfathers wife passed away because of cancer and i was never allowed to see her while she was sick nor to attend the funeral and in that time i already saw my grandpa rarely when my parents told me my grandma passed away i cried one timei know that i was sad but i somehow cant really recall my immediate emotions from that day and i thought im glad that i still have my grandpa but he passed away three months later and i wasnt able to see him during these months when my father emotionlessly told us that his father also passed away i felt nothing i didnt cry no reaction at all and then i didnt think about it for years but when i was  all of the sudden all of the emotions i should have felt when i was  crushed me harder then anything ever it was like reliving the day i was told he was gone for ever for almost a year and i was so confused why now why didnt i feel anything back then because my brain was already way to stressed for an  year old and just didnt process properly then three years later something triggered my memories and the horrors began when i was  it hit me again because i found out he committed sicide through my cousin back to the cult so am i still there no my parents realized how manipulative literally everything about it was and without telling anyone there childhood friends i grew up with included we went there one last time and on sunday the  september  we drove away and never came back and many others left too we still meet every sunday and i still sing there because i dont want to confront my parents i really dont want to be there because every time were there im not really there im just a shell that moves around during the preaching which a few men do in turns im always completely zoned out and can only concentrate for a bit if i really really try i dont know what that is or that means but i absolutely hate it because i cant control it and sometimes im just sad for no reason i still cant sleep and still get a massive headache and cant stand up properly without strong coffee i still eat too much stuff really shouldnt and i feel bad for every little bit i eat but i cant stop and it also affects all of my relationships especially with my bf he sometimes doesnt understand but he still comforts me and is patient which i am really grateful for and something that comes to my mind only now is that my father used to completely lose it when i had a bad mark i was afraid to come home and always started crying before even telling him and then he would shout even more beat the table with his fist and tell me to stop crying now i can control if im going to cry or not when something upsets me and if i want to show my emotions or not being a very good liar was essential and it still iswhen my father is mad at me because i didnt do the dishes he still gets very impulsive and shames me because if he works and gives me food and clothing its disrespectful to leave the dishes for too long and when he stands beside me and doesnt stop while i do the dishes i just nod my head and say yes its the only way to avoid more pain at all costs there are these moments but also the ones where he tries to talk to me and asks me how i am and then he tells me how he loves his first born princess he tells that im the best daughter someone could have and that hes so so proud of me and i just smile at him and say thank you but on the inside i think if you knew who i really am and what i did that you dont of you wouldnt talk to me anymore he is proud of the daughter he created for himself that i still am in front of him and also my mother tries to get closer to me after  years of distance and letting the church raise us and the only thing that i would tell her if i was honest for a few seconds in the midst of all the lies i protect myself with is im sorry but its too late i dont have any emotional connection to my parents and i never had the first  years of my life partly wasted i feel like someone took my childhood from me even my memories are blurry and i know its technically not my parents fault but i want to blame them so badly and it makes me so mad that i was born because of the church because they convinced my father to have children i was cursed before i even existed and still i can recall a few beautiful memories of things i did with my friends there the sleepovers summer camp singing together playing hide and seek in the big building all of us connected through our fear of the dangerous outside world and hell there is no moment in my life where i wasnt afraid that some adult could dream or feel they taught us that god can reveal things about people to you when you have strong connection to the holy spirit that i  was a dirty sinner that acted differently in schooland it was so frightening because when its out that you messed up you cant attend certain rituals like the holy communion and thats when people know they see that youre not taking part in it and the first thing that comes to mind is of course premarital sx when a couple did it and someone found out its made sure by the authorities that in a week everyone knows and i wanted to avoid people thinking that at all costs so was very aware and on guard all the time i made sure i had a different app also open while watching vampire diaries on my phone because there you can switch faster so my father or my mother who still just burst into my room whenever they want to would never know i would watch something the devil created my parents and everyone in church who was responsible for me always tried to shelter me and get anything with a bad influence away from me but i still watched what i wasnt allowed to the internet and myself raised me when my beliefs started to break away people like jenna marbles taught me things parents should teach their kids i educated myself on so much stuff i missed out on and started to build my own opinions and morals from  basic knowledge like its okay to not believe what your parents believe was so new to me and now i just want to move out and study something so im always safe i cant wait for the day where im finally going to be financially independent and dont have to rely on my fatherwow it feels good put all of that in words when you read until now you must be really really bored but thank you i appreciate your attention greatly i just wish i could get help,3.0
8045,silverlines  well most of them yes  although girls also included lol,0.0
8046,watching how i met your mother ,0.0
8047,bayareacheap there r a few of us local yocals around  happy to find u on twitter ,0.0
8048,working in the office today half day tomorrow and spending time with scott before he leaves for europe on monday  weeks no boyfriend ,2.0
8049,i feel like crying today for no reason and i dont know why maybe its all the water ive been drinkinghahahayeah i cant even make myself feel better,3.0
8050,combating feelings of depression and loneliness check out this video ,2.0
8051,officialjman oh ps loveee the music video ,0.0
8052,is very bored being stuck in doors  x,2.0
8053,zines anyone   fb,2.0
8054,grrrlromeo  should have told her you werent that easy either but perhaps im wrong  ,0.0
8055,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
8056,ughhh i could have won i knew the stupid answer and was just calling for like a half hour   couldnt get through,2.0
8057,crucifire main office main hoon dost meri zindagi barbad hai ,2.0
8058,humans i hate em at the risk of sounding like an alien whos lived here for the last two decades ill explainthe people around me all just seem to be dicks and make me want to just give up on life lord knows its just the morning and ive already given up on the day,3.0
8059,theandyhicks dude ive had front row season seats there since i was   one less family outing to enjoy pout,2.0
8060,is trying to pick out homeowners insurance ahhhhh my brain hurts ,2.0
8061,so sleepy waking up for work  ahhhhh,2.0
8062,cardboxdiva headed to the imperia ,0.0
8063,im so sad i love tae so much ,1.0
8064,in my own words a smile is noted as a symbol of expression that can sometimes reflect happiness confidence and positivity there was this photo i took during my campaign running for city council i was smiling it was a time where i could see god in the details of everything that was happening around me i realized then that my path was not my own understanding i was solely a vessel operating through the will of god there was a greater purpose then even i could see for why i had been placed at this very moment in time what i did not anticipate and underestimated were the struggles i would endure that were also a part of this journey see the last  in this position have literally broken me and the internal house i had been building started to come crashing down forcing me into one of the lowest points of my life my smile was now filled with pain confusion and a deep feeling of being lost there are days i would cry out to god for understanding and comfort during these moments of despair i never knew doing the right thing or lifting up gods people would be so hard im constantly faced with the realities of my own childhood and what my family had to endure just to survive in a world that had casted us out for the mistakes we made there are days i dont want to wake up and unfortunately thats just my truth as i selfreflect i am reminded of the statements ive uttered to others during times like this everything weve endured has prepared us for such a time as this or hold onto your faith and god will see you through it as true as these statements are its something to be said about how these struggles can sometimes embody such a looming darkness you can no longer see even the flickering of light throughout time god has tested the least of these as doubt is the greatest conqueror of all for it breathes fear and fear eliminates the possibilities of faith i am unclear of the path ahead but every day i am reminded of the strength god has bestowed upon me to continue pushing forward i realize now that there are things in my life that i will not be able to control which is why having a relentless faith is so important you must learn to trust god within the entirety of your being and know that there is immaculate purpose operating within the moments of your uncertaintyits okay to feel lost because sometimes we must be lost in order to find our self how else would we know if we are ready for what god is preparing us for without experiences designed to test our inner self spirit and purpose its within the essence of our divinity that god reminds us no weapon formed against us shall prosper we were created to experience this world and overcome the demons we may unconsciously keep suppressed deep within ourselves our struggles become the catalyst to bring forth our true testimony a powerful story of transmutation and transformation that becomes an inspirational example for others to realize their ability to overcome that which may seem impossible in their life ive always said that our lives are not our own even in the most selfish of times we are mere reflections of the possibilities within each other and we all contribute to elevating the overall consciousness in the world i am here today as an example that there is nothing i have done that you too cannot do,3.0
8065,i cant stop thinking in the families and the little kids who died in hermosillo it is a terrible and painful tragedy my condolences ,2.0
8066,pinkmeringue meh june isnt starting off so happily i really am sad i missed last night but i was feeling horrible ,2.0
8067,dimhalo i was eligible for a   now im not eligible until december  i paid  instead of  a month sucks  i might call,2.0
8068,lezzymom ps im still blind though ,0.0
8069,getting ready for today ,0.0
8070,just found the perfect bathingsuit  ,0.0
8071,yay the chef cook is back and prepared an awesome lunch ,0.0
8072,rt emilyswins today is the first day of mental health mondays do you love a good positive affirmation i do ,0.0
8073,i just feel so weighted i just feel like i cant get up who knew the human body could weigh so much,3.0
8074,living alone with bipolar depression hi alli am a  year old female living with bipolar disorder i experience severe depressive episodes as well as severe anxiety a month ago the plumbing in my rental house went to shit literally and my roommates and i have been couch surfing all through february while we search for new apartmentsi had about two weeks to find a place and finally found a one bedroom in my neighborhood its a great spot and in a lot of ways i am stoked to move into a one bedroom and away from roommates for the first time in my young adult lifeon the flipside i am terrified having roommates has always helped me when dealing with severe depression having someone to talk to having someone around when i have suicidal thoughts i remember that one of my roommates truthfully they are my friends would find my body and i just couldnt stand the idea of that having roommates has helped keep me alivei dont have many friends in the city i live in and i am single in a lot of ways i feel lonelyfor those of you that live alone how do you manage your mental health and severe loneliness on your own what do you do when youre stuck in a one bedroom with no one to talk to how have you altered your lifestyle to increase happiness and stave away the depression,3.0
8075,sarahfrantz  heh  no  i remember those days  my youngest is  years and she still gets up and doesnt go back to sleep ,2.0
8076,curling up in bed with nothing else to dobbm pin  aim  or jesssuperiorent feel free ,0.0
8077,i got up and looked for a job yay i know its not much but i felt like its a little win and i wanted to share hope everyones having a less shitty day today,3.0
8078, its not that hard lol just tell the world interesting things ,0.0
8079,school the house is boring without elise lol ,2.0
8080,renatak i will do some incouraging in that regard  ,0.0
8081,rt cmarienico teddy has such anxiety when we are not home makes me so sad to see him this way he sits like a statue roams the house an,1.0
8082,drfernkazlow so sorry  hear abt yr canine friend  zoey my puppy is  lbs all black tiny  zoe means life in greek yepshe is,2.0
8083, i think im in love but we have a lot of problems ,2.0
8084,god people who insistantly interrupt my reading are flipping annoyances leave me alone i wanna read in peace you stupid texters ,2.0
8085,and ill tweet later ,0.0
8086,ngampussss ,2.0
8087,is hanging out with her loser friend lewis    what a lovelyy dayy ,0.0
8088,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
8089,jennyvier that sounds awful  and it would be monday to boot  ,2.0
8090,ahh people at a lunch on odd days are in the newapaper ,0.0
8091,to anyone who wants to kill themselves i have a question would it possibly make it easier for you to go and easier for you to let go of life if in your final moments the most important person in your life was there to hold your hand and tell you they loved you and hold you as you slipped away into death would it be easier to swallow the pill or pull the trigger or kick the chair youre standing on away or drink the bleach if your loved one was the last thing you ever saw or remembered cause i have this weird feeling that it would for me and id also like to know what yall might feel being the loved one in that scenario would it be really painful or would you feel like you did someone a favor and slightly eased someones suffering,3.0
8092,becomeknown ta very much   just updating our twitter background now,0.0
8093,photoshoot for sears was smooth with no problems ,0.0
8094,this gave me hella anxiety,2.0
8095,would like to thank a smoked salmon bagel and a can of red bull for keeping me alive this morning today is going to be a very long day ,2.0
8096,cantsleep  i know ricky will be up super late sing he has the day off  gonna snuggle with gav ,0.0
8097,hello and welcome back to another episode of the stress mastery podcast in todays episode bill and david continue httpstcoexwbjlfzev,0.0
8098, thank you ,0.0
8099,good morning everyone arg i have go write a provinical in  mins ,2.0
8100,one more day until iphone magicalness all i have to say apple is you better fucking release that new software on monday ,0.0
8101,no philly trip today thanks to monsoon  adventure in harrisburg instead,2.0
8102,all this buttoning and unbuttoning  fucking years of being alone so fucking tired of it all tired of being hopelessly miserable trust me when i say ive tried a number of times trying to interact with people only to be treated like some pariah theyre forced to speak to just so that i spare them if i were to snap suddenly i dont know,3.0
8103,is at work  xxx,0.0
8104,jasminecara i hate poh ,0.0
8105,watching a movie dat ive been meanin  buyc wen it came out urs mine ours on tbs reminds me a bit of cheaper by da dozen ,0.0
8106,rt blingspice lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
8107,erinwarde weird about the text its been tweetsinging with you too bad you would be in montgomery saturday night ,2.0
8108,im about to set out on the  hour drive back to virginia to start my summer of work ,2.0
8109,photo tip there are colors to black and white oddly satisfying when u look closer ,0.0
8110,goodnight i guarantee that ill be awake by  ,2.0
8111,rt  i can feel my anxiety crawling back just by looking at this ,0.0
8112, hey morning how r u im proud of ur dedication to ur workouts  i wanna be like u lol,0.0
8113,my flight is two weeks away and im thinking about packing tonight yes thats how effing excited i am ,0.0
8114,pjmagerko you will do amazing  now tell me when you are someing to visit me,0.0
8115,i added a video to a youtube playlist   sad xxxtentacion type beat no good ,2.0
8116,nobody really cares if im alive or not i guess im just real depressed about feeling lonely when others probably think im not im pushing  now and im just kind of regretting life so far i feel like i dont really have anyone to talk to and i dont really feel like my presence really matters that much i have a few friends but they really only talk to me to brag about their relationships or they dont text me at all unless i text first my friends dont invite me out or ask me how im doing my parents kicked me out of their house a while ago and our communication is formal for showing up to holidays the only real person in my life is my brother but hes tied up with life nowadays most days i just run errands go to work or sit at my house without communicating when i do communicate with people most just think im weird or they get bored of me quickly my life is painfully boring and sad and most days i hate looking at myself in the mirror is my life meaningless,3.0
8117,packing up my desk ,2.0
8118,seeing how freds used to be fans are unsubing him ,2.0
8119,gonna stop telling you about my pokemon going up levels cos its happening so quickly oh yeah its the one game i pwn at ,0.0
8120,i honestly cant figure out how to make a siggy for teamjonas haha  help,0.0
8121,heyyyyy twitter you changed my backround on me  aww you stinker you amp i cant adjust the colorsgrrrr twitter grrrrrr,2.0
8122,im done  ive been very good at hiding my feelings and helping others when theyre having their shitty days and always be positive about the future    like im living in ton of shit and my only hope was to have a better future since i was very good at school and stuff but im just done now  ive reached a dead end  i just wanna die,3.0
8123,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,0.0
8124,do u need to have the attention of every boy u come in contact with u just cant leave any of em alone ,2.0
8125,gmhc opens carl jacobs mental health clinic   lgbt,2.0
8126,iamdiddy  not only am i locked it but im comfy  im editing radio spots in bed on my macbook ,0.0
8127,i just remembered how heavy books are looks like ill be driving ,2.0
8128,rt mtnmoxiegirl gratitude eliminates fear worry grief and depression and brings happiness clarity  compassion and peace of mind,1.0
8129,yes  twtvite mtltu ill be there ,0.0
8130,jemariie its complicated we havent talked in years but wen he sent me a comment i responded yet he hasnt replied ,2.0
8131,a bit like twitter really  a bit of ozzy for you  i dont want to stop  ,0.0
8132,had a wonderful night with friends chatting till the sun came up ,0.0
8133,depression with christian parents ive opened up to my parents about my depression but whenever i talk about it they keep telling me to seek god today my father showed me christians movies and read the bible and said that those who believe will be in favour andi love them a lot but it just frustrates me because as much as i try i cant seem to believe that he exists i really dont know what to do ,3.0
8134,genkigenki yep  unfortunately capped internet usage is pretty normal here ,2.0
8135,oh i have no sense of time i thought today is sunday tomorrow i have to go to work again ,2.0
8136,goodnight or should i say goodmorning ,0.0
8137,i highkey fucking love children but they give me anxiety if theyre like fully charged for long periods of time,1.0
8138,fell down the stairs and is in pain ,2.0
8139,sorry for being so quiet for the past few days been in the hospital ,2.0
8140,rt ranchdubois catch m avoiding people i know in public bc anxiety,2.0
8141,i just saw a dead kitten on the road and literally burst into tears ,2.0
8142,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
8143,my karma should be up  httpplurkcompxduea,0.0
8144,i think i know why i like working all day i like the power of behaving a certain way and leveraging my status against people who  wouldnt normally respect my authority i like summoning people to my work space i am in control if someone acts rudely i can correct their behavior i am in control i like controlling my environment and i like taking control from other people,3.0
8145,is not going to have any teeth by the time she leaves lasha and ashas house because of all the abuse she is receiving ,2.0
8146,green tea  jane austen  vegemite toast  quotthe l wordquot  weird arse sunday night im enjoyed it though ,0.0
8147,ahhh my mouth kills dont make me get my widsom teeth out ,2.0
8148,sineadgrainger oh shit sorry hun i wanted to say yes ,2.0
8149,patriciannroque nvm ill tell you about it tomorrow ,0.0
8150,sex is good for the mind body and soul ,0.0
8151,i had my first real battle with depression im very very new to depression ive always been a very happy and optimistic person im an extreme extrovert with a massive group of friends from all walks of life and they always tell me i make them happy with my smiles humor and upbeat attitude being that source of joy has always been something i love however lately its all felt like a showinside ive been struggling struggling to find joy in the things that used to bring me joy struggling to do things i truly enjoy doing because they suddenly seem like such daunting seemingly impossible tasks this fear and anxiety has turned my passions into apathy it turned the zeal i had for things into longing nostalgia if i could only feel that way againi sit here at this transitional junction in life im about to graduate college im on the verge of becoming an engineer something i never thought possible due to my upbringing i have an amazingly supportive and caring girlfriend and a dog who means the world to me i should be elated instead i cant bring myself to study i cant bring myself to sit down at my computer and start writing code i cant focus at work ive been irritable and snappy with my girlfriend and even my dog i dont feel like myself and today it all came crashing down on mei was spiraling i stood in the face of this piercing darkness and told it to go fuck itself i had a very busy weekend in front of me filled with hanging out with and helping friends i didnt have time for this so i tried to fight it off myself however every taunt or punch i threw its way only made it stronger i watched it grow and get stronger before me quickly it began to feel insurmountable i was sooooo angry so here i was being held down by this monster but i was still trying to make this weekend work suddenly it felt like all i could do was cry i couldnt winthen i decided to reach out to my friends and tell them of my struggle something ive never done i told them i needed some time for myself i needed to recharge my friends were so incredibly understanding without hesitation they offered their support and insisted i take my time to recharge not only did they not make me feel bad about not being there this weekend but upon receiving their support i felt the weight of the insurmountable monster lift off of me im freei dont yet know what ill do this weekend probably smoke some weed hang out with my dog watch some tv play some music etc but i feel so much better im very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life im lucky to know i dont have to fight this alone,3.0
8152,itschelseastaub congrats on the teen choice nomination girrrl  i tried calling you today but couldnt get through lame,0.0
8153,qianayana freddy deddy can dumb it down for some baby carrot love ,0.0
8154,roflucy well as a matter of fact technically you are just not a professional industrial one ,0.0
8155,talkin to my girlfreind  we makin it,2.0
8156,ib english world lit ,0.0
8157,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
8158,my  bodies came today one of the neck knobs is bust color me unhappy  ,2.0
8159, no on day three and feeling cagey ,0.0
8160,on my way to the all day music video shoot for storage  i shall try to tweet when i can or at least twitpic ,0.0
8161,ugh why do people insist on hacking my myspace   crazy creepy nerds,2.0
8162,nowgaurav how r u kya chal raha hai howz didi nd cherish sorry i cudnt find tat video i made i dnt think i have a backup ,2.0
8163,stagnancy does anyone else feel like theyre stagnant nothing is happening its the same shit every day work sleep eat and play video games thats all i do anymore and it feels like im not in control of it like im watching my body do these things from the sidelines the days blend into each other same shit every day i cant stand it i just need something to happen im taking a week off work next month to go on a trip so im hoping that itll help with this issue but ive lost all interest or motivation video games arent even fun my wife is upset with me because i never spend time with her on the weekends well i dont want to i love her beyond anything but i dont even enjoy being around her anymore i wish i could quit my job sleep for a month and just waste away in my bed but i have to keep moving have to provide for my family and im going to keep going through the motions on autopilot work this week itll feel like no time at all do chores this weekend itll feel even shorter i cant stand this does anyone have any advice,3.0
8164,alexgaynor the more the merrier ,0.0
8165,quotim watching tvquot except im not  httpwwwtwtishcom,2.0
8166,murphysblues i know what you mean i started trying to get on  minutes before my show  didnt get on until  minutes later ,2.0
8167,got my invite to the bumptop beta trial  having fun bumping things around  looks useful and messy just the way i like it,0.0
8168,victoriaellis i find that almost un iversally true ,2.0
8169,everything went south at the end of my year   is probably the quickest year that ive had the joy sadness struggles made me question my existence is one of the best yet depressing year ive had my sister turned  ive got a job that i desperately needed ive learned how to stand up on my own and started to feel like a new better person than i was before but all of that was washed away before my very eyes i saw myself building up that person i wanted to be and now im terrified that im tearing that apart i became selfish and started to think more of myself than my sister and mom who needed me the most i chased people whos just there for my company and nothing else i was at the very down point of my life when i got ignored by a girl i liked at work i accepted that and moved on i learned from it and so i thought but it never stopped there ive caught up with an old acquaintance of mine which ive liked before and even now so we went out a couple of weeks and at the very end i was once again put aside whats wrong with methats not the real reason why im feeling downi discovered the real reason when i was all alone the day i was asleep a guy knock on my door its the mailman he gave me aletter that says ive bought an illegal item a butterfly knife i admit it that ive bought it not knowing its illegal in this countryive kept it as a secret from my mom never told her this until yesterday december   they gave me another letter which is the same with the first one my mom was shocked i was scared and was muted i didnt know what to say i just ignored her and i went outwere financially struggling and the job ive had before was no longer they gave me achance to pass my resignation letter but i didnt have the time to my time was occupied by sleeping everything away i tried to fight it and be productive but the pull is just too strong for meshe ask me a request before the year ends its that i will order us a food from a chinese restaurant to serve as our feast for the new years evei didnt do that instead i went out and played in an internet cafe spent all the hours there ive ignored again my mom ive ignored her calls and texts when i was done it was already late little much too late i didnt order anything so i decided to not show up in the house and went back in the computer shop and now im feeling the heaviness of the guilt its too much i dont want her to see me yet i want her to forgive me and even if she will i dont know if i can forgive myself even if she will forgive me its just if ill ask or tell her its not the whole story i can only give her small part of the pictureim too frustrated to do or think about anything please i need help and adviceif anyone who lives in canada that knows about the law please feel free to share me what you know or for those who had experienced the same please tell me how you dealt with iti actually bought  butterfly knife and now im afraid the agency will believe my story,3.0
8170,back to twitter  im thinking of mba today ateneo or dlsu hmm,0.0
8171,up entirely too early ,2.0
8172,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
8173,teascoup  ,2.0
8174,has never been so happy to know that im going home but not until tmrw ,2.0
8175,roxiijonas have fun    thie songg btw     httpbitlyfugip   th loud quotcomeon comequot on bit,0.0
8176,lol i need a clip of miley undressing jk but it would fit the lyricsshe just needs to take of her jacket  someone and idea,0.0
8177,is working ,2.0
8178,just had a college interview i was on the verge of tears at mutiple times throughout as i kept on thinking how all of this was a waste of time and how it doesnt matter what i do at college as the only job that would probably ever hire me is some type of manual labour like moving boxes or something,3.0
8179,just almost choked to death im new to reddit and honestly i dont feel comfortable talking to any of my friends or my parents about this ive been fighting depression panic disorder and suicidal thoughts for about twenty years now ive had an especially bad last few days where i feel like i cant do anything right and the world is out to piss me off anyway i havent been able to eat much and it got to the point where i needed to or i was gonna get sick so i grabbed a can of tuna choked on the first bite i tried an autoheimlich on a chair back to no avail i went into the bathroom to try to gag myself and that didnt work either i kinda just gave up at that point and sat on the bathroom floor waiting to die im not sure what happened but i had some kinda spasm right as the tunnel vision was closing in and it came out my vision started to come back and i was just sitting there in awe with how incredibly cool i was with dying i never freaked out didnt panic at all all i could think about was how shitty it would be for my mom to find me dead in my bathroom tomorrow morning but i also distinctly remember thinking finally and the irony that i didnt even have to do it myself was not lost on me at the time i think i actually smiled as long as my parents are around id never do it myself but im not opposed to natural causes or an accident im a rock climber and ride sport bikes so itll happen sooner or later and now i know ill be completely at peace with it,3.0
8180,wow i cant believe i couldnt hold myself together hahaha wow im dumb text me ,2.0
8181,deanana im in but i work all day ,2.0
8182,therealjordin hi jordin hope you can visit manila soon ,0.0
8183,im off wednesday and thursday ,0.0
8184,juneninth thats what cant get to sleep does to you mass photo edit today  yawn,2.0
8185,thethorhammer my cunning plan to combine work and lego screwed up not going now ,2.0
8186,good match from a neutral viewpoint now back to the chores  bbq and music later ,2.0
8187,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
8188,telenovelas  y estrellas blogs are undergoing maintenance ,0.0
8189,is happy beacause we only have  weeks school left and then the summerholiday starts  ,0.0
8190,anyone else just wanna go home idk how else to describe it  but everyday i keep thinking i want to go home and it doesnt matter if im laying in my own damn bed or wandering my own damn hallways  i just wanna go home  im all out of sorts and im tired of worrying about everything,3.0
8191,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
8192,rt shmuhammad indeed allah is with the patienthe promised his presence and support to the people of this one virtue why because being,0.0
8193,i am making my own calendar lets hope i am not reinventing the wheel  httptrimnipe,2.0
8194,rt poopoonga i feel the sc should order an assessment of mental health status for all  the honourable judges they seem to be extremely,1.0
8195,cheerieknots yesh sadly ,2.0
8196,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
8197,rt  batı trakya türklerinin mücadelesinin unutulmaz ismi drsadık ahmeti vefatının  devriyesinde kültür ve turizm ba,2.0
8198,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
8199,duidlmedia its ridiculous   of those requests within  minutes just now ,2.0
8200,flightless bird american mouth is the best song ever ,0.0
8201,happy mothers day to my mom and every mom everywhere  off for a stroll at the beaches laterhopefully,0.0
8202,ronaldjanmhar i think i got her sick ,2.0
8203,i feel like my life is falling apart so ive struggled with depression since i was  but it was always from things like bullies and boys or other angsty teenage things which was valid but not even close to what ive been through now im  with a job and a really great boyfriend and my life could generally be called okay but for some reason i just keep feeling like im messing up and getting deeper into this hole my medicine doesnt really work for me but ive also slacked im taking it my room is a mess with weeks of unwashed clothes i have no clean work clothes anymore my car is just as messy i honestly cant remember the last time i showered and today being my first day off in a few days i slept as late as i could and then lounged around and ate nothing but junk im talking  krispy kream donuts fun dip packets cotton candy etc and now im not tired and im just sitting in my bed thinking about how messy my life is but i have no energy to fix it i cry while im at work and almost always when im heading home i just feel empty but i know my life has meaning i just dont know whats going on or whats going to happen or if i can even do anything anymore,3.0
8204,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
8205,hazysmile a couple of years a goa beleive you came to my party ,0.0
8206,on my way to the hosp today they woke him up ,0.0
8207,firehoseswitch yeah but i was really pulling for the matildas and one of the few players i cant get mad at is th ,2.0
8208,mitchelmusso omg i finished from see your video quotheyquot is amazing  is very funny i like it so much ,0.0
8209,has anyone had any experience with wellbutrin  in the beginning did it worsen your depression at all i started it a month and a half ago taking  mg a day and i havent been taking it consistently because i had surgery and was on a bunch of medicine for a week so i kept skipping it ive been back on it for a week again now and i notice its making me feel honestly horrible and it did when l was taking it prior to surgery i take adderall  mg as well but i like it and have no side effects ive self harmed since i was  im  now and havent cut myself in a few months now i dont remember the last time because up until a few days ago i hadnt thought about it i saw my scars everything obviously but didnt think much of it until two days ago i got reallyyyy angry and upset and i cut again i told my doctor its making me feel bad but i didnt tell her i self harmed she told me to keep taking it for another month and see how it goes my only problem is i dont want it to get so bad that im such a dark place that i dont want help anymore because that happens to me and when it does things get reallll bad id really like to hear ur experiences with wellbutrin also i know these kind of medications can worsen depression and suicidal thoughts its just never happened to me before amp ive started and stopped a lot of medications during trial and error periods ,3.0
8210,there have only been  days in june it has not rained i miss the sun ,2.0
8211,ahnice bike ride dinner and now relaxing ,0.0
8212,rt jewhaditm until they need an xtra trillion for jet fuel to next climate conference amp to pay  climate change anxiety counse ,2.0
8213,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
8214,rt  i wish every single person could see this can we raise awareness for anxiety and mental health please 🙏🏻💜 ,0.0
8215,sad i couldnt go see hannah montana the movie stupid swine flu i hate you ,2.0
8216,rt vampiremoneyyyy its like its a crime to be ya self now days cause mfs will steal your whole identity and your whole personality and,0.0
8217,my relationship is collapsing and i can only cry about it because its all going down because of my depression when we started dating my partner said we would work on this together ive been there during all the tough times for my partner and i helped and stood strong for us but when the time came for my partner to do so for me apparently its too hard so here i am drowning realizing that i will lose everything we built for the past two years because my depression is too much to handdle i know its over and there is no turning back i just cant accept it no one loves you when youre depressed not even the other people with depression too,3.0
8218,mynameisagus laughs its what im here for ,0.0
8219,yaletza im from italybut u already knew it ,0.0
8220,frecs twitter needs a like button i liked this ,0.0
8221, dont let stress ruin your day support your mood stability with natural vitality calm try it out ,1.0
8222,is so tired lifes really good though ,0.0
8223,haha good thing i saved marvin in the computer cause then i wouldnt be able to see him anymore ,0.0
8224,just dropped my besties off at her houseaww i miss her already ,2.0
8225,falling off of the edge my family has the nerve to fucking criticize me because i dont have a crippling low self esteem like i used to oh you act like youre the king of the world oh im sorry im not crying myself to sleep and wondering where it all went wrong anymore i still feel like shit most of the times but at least i can make some friends now and now that i can they start fucking criticizing me why why the fuck everytime im doing good people love to fucking criticize me or bring me down,3.0
8226,i cant do it anymore i cant my friends treat me like shit  and i cant fucking take it anymore its out of the blue and constant its not like the occasional rip its literally mobbing me with comments about how much they hate me some people tell me that theyre doing it because they know itll get a rise out of me other people say i just need to fuck them off i cant do it anymore nothing matters and everything hurts i hate waking up in the morning every night i pray i dont wake up why cant god just let me die why wont this just stop why me i dont understand i cant take it anymore ,3.0
8227,question for mandated reporters in the us who attend group therapy will i be obligated to report fellow patients to cpschild line if they talk about abusing a child i understand there is an understanding that everything said in the group stays in the group but i believe i will break the law if i do not report suspected child abuse ,3.0
8228,scottrmcgrew you sad ,2.0
8229,is happy very happy ,0.0
8230, i have a chance to see both in hultsfred on the  of july though cheaper  nothing beats sleeping in a tent on a field ,0.0
8231,asiantees  your welcome  im just simply spreading the truth how r ya sorry for the delay,0.0
8232,cannongod sadly not nottingham floodplain all the way theres a few hills but theyre tiny ,2.0
8233,modestofamous had fun blowing bubbles with you today ,0.0
8234,i was excited when i got to catch an episode of house bummed when it was the one where amber dies ,2.0
8235,late late late bloody public transport eyes are stinging back is aching head is pounding and i feel obese  not a good start ,2.0
8236,i need to get my mental health together cus im crazy lmao,2.0
8237,exponentent damn i thought yall was done movin inlol i would come through amp help but im in jersey ,2.0
8238,can depression manifest physically like give you physical pain or even make you faint or die,3.0
8239,rt lazymodel me whoa things are actually working out for memy depression ,2.0
8240,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
8241,missing jacks amp mottu very much ,2.0
8242,redneckmommy glad to be of service ,0.0
8243,bytesize not yet  i keep meaning to pick it up but by the time i get to the city i forget all about it are you excited about ,2.0
8244,trying to playalone i break by korn feels good when i get it rite ,0.0
8245,nothings gone right for me today  wanted to work around house and pressure washer busted and all drills uncharged amp blew fuse cant fix,2.0
8246,adameckhardt  haha great ,0.0
8247,how is everyone today i have been stressed ,2.0
8248,finally cleaned my room after over six months i dont know where else to share this because most people dont understand this issue but i finally cleaned my room after having it be messy for well over six months probably more like  to be honest my depression causes me to have absolutely no energy or motivation to clean my room do laundry etc but i finally decided that i was going to slowly but surely clean this bitch up i still have some bags of laundry to go through but my room is really so clean right now and i hope that someone else on here can relate to this strangely satisfying feeling i know cleaning up should be a normal everyday task but for me it is so hard to keep my room tidy i even finally was able to invite my boyfriend over to hang out without being embarrassed about my mess i just feel so so proud of myself right now and im really hoping this is a step in the right direction for my mental health especially after a very very very depressing winter ,3.0
8249,jbaksaxoxo ew i only see me on your background twitter chaange it ,2.0
8250,my mental health is getting shitty again and i dont fucking have time for it i just cant shake the feeling that nobody gives a shit about me or anything that i do and that everything i do is ultimately pointless because its not going to make me happy its just fucking exhausting trying to deal with all that on top of working  hour days between classes and work and its just like why the fuck am i working this hard for shit that i dont even really want how long can i keep going like this,3.0
8251,is telling a person they can ask you for help when they are feeling depressed and cutting themselves wrong sorry if this is a stupid question i just want to help,3.0
8252, hey thanks and yes me love como its only like  minutes from where i live ,0.0
8253,issues  when your black with a small dick so all you think about is killin yourself whats the point ,3.0
8254,is having fruits for breakfast healthy living woot ,0.0
8255,has  more days of work before classes ,0.0
8256,lmao traysongs is funny as hell  puppets,0.0
8257,soo annoyed my lvatt preprdered cd has not turned up hmvnot cool shall reply to messages later ,0.0
8258,feeling at little confused and helpless atm ,2.0
8259,in dallas ps happy bday darling i hope thats the right username ,0.0
8260,no car tomorrow  i guess ill have to cycle to the doctors,2.0
8261,thebibik those are rad we dont have those here ,2.0
8262,therealbrieee youre gonna rock your free manny tee i think mine is dirty ,2.0
8263,pcdmelodyt aww babe it looks that grityourteeth kinda painful ,2.0
8264,off to town to get boxes it makes moving seem more real then revision and keeping an eye on the bloods i hate being diabetic ,2.0
8265,depression and online classes ever since college online classes started two weeks ago i have skipped every single class and gotten some zeros on assignments too i know i should be doing work but with corona and everything else going on in my life i am not motivated in the slightest my entire day just consists of me playing video games and smoking weed the off chance i do online work i close my laptop right way because i really just dont care anymore i have a couple of exams and papers due soon and idk what to do but i also cant fail because college is so much money i wonder how others are handling depression and online classes,3.0
8266,petparentauthor i appreciate your kind words and support ,0.0
8267, days till britney excited ,0.0
8268,i dont know every time when i ask myself why are you depressed my answer is always i dont know or a spiral of self hate and things not working out which is normal its part of life i dont know im just weak and im a coward do i even know what depression is what it means to be depressed i dont know why do i find it so difficult to effectively convey my feelings to myself nevermind to anyone else i dont know i just dont know anymore my life is fine i just dont know why im like this i dont understand myself and i wish i did but unfortunately a guide book for my mind doesnt exist and its like i like being depressed its almost as in i put myself in this mindset intentionally which sounds quite crazy and sadistic i like the pain i like feeling worthless and a failure but then i dont like feeling like this and just want to be okay again normal i guess ah i dont know whenever i feel like this i just tell myself to firm it and keep moving its the only thing i can do but i dont even know how long i can firm it until im at a point of no return i dont know,3.0
8269,just entered aransas county ,0.0
8270,what is this fuckery espm que demora pra sairem as notas ,2.0
8271,what a day haha no sun tan wtf off to the pub ,0.0
8272,making snus ,0.0
8273,cant stop dreaming about my mom ive been depressed for as long as i can remember though as many people can probably relate it wanes and waxes over times and i have been on and off several different medications with mixed successes things were finally looking up for me in the beginning of  then my moms breast cancer suddenly went to her brain the last doctors appoint we had he explained there was nothing to be done she died  weeks later the last  months before her death she went from sleeping  hours a day barely recognizing me then in hospice then comatose i found her dead in the early morning she meant so much to mei feel like things have become more normal in the past  months but i cant stop having these incredibly intense and vivid dreams pretty much every night she is alive and miraculously recovered but is she its hard to tell i end up questioning whether she is or not and cant figure it out i wake up with the sensation that the dream isnt over and im not sure if shes still alive or noti just want all this pain to be over i havent enjoyed anything over the past year this grief and my depression have sucked the life out of me im not sure of my direction in life anymore especially after my mom passed away i dont have the needed enthusiasm for my work anymore im in a biomedical phd program i want to change my life but i dont know how my depression sucks the enjoyment of experiences out of me and convinces me i dont have what it takes to do something different or to keep doing what im doing now im pathetic for thinking like this and i would be stupid and look like an idiot if i tried to change my lifesorry for the wall of text i dont know what the post of this is except i wanted to get it off my chest to someone other than my therapist,3.0
8274,i have absolutely no clue how this works ,0.0
8275,ive wanted a dog for the longest time has it helped any of you i feel directionless im haunted by a traumatic past i cant change and indifferent for a future i dont care about ive always wanted my own dog a being that i can care for unconditionally and give me purpose my family has been against the idea i still live at homei feel like i need this more than ever have any of you sought a pet for companionship during troubled times ,3.0
8276,the cure for anxiety tjgilroy httpstcowzonarwcry ,0.0
8277,tondekker this is not a ugly pic ,0.0
8278,i cant believe the athens threater is gone  first time ive ever cried about a fire,2.0
8279,i just drove through the biggest puddle and soaked  ladies standing on the side of the road sorry ,2.0
8280,chollieswaggmor ahahahahaha yeah i knew u said no lol poor leon ,2.0
8281,having a bbq at the rainiest day of the weeknice ideait wasnt mine ,0.0
8282,ah friday was the best ,0.0
8283,character spot today ,2.0
8284,kandeebx i have  get out this house ,2.0
8285,markmilly no ur right i didnt  i didnt wanna be on ya pipe tho my nigg lol thanks friend i kno ur gonna kill it,0.0
8286,hello everyone  what are your plans for today ,0.0
8287,apriantimita be patient every instant thing is not permanent ,0.0
8288, access their browser and cameras in all corners of every room  dont get me started ,0.0
8289,burtonct milwaukee   have fun in the born,0.0
8290, elisesurl u dont even know  but robert pattinson makes up for it ,0.0
8291,darealangellola  ill be down on ur girl rap suaq am cold at the mic and beat makin ,0.0
8292, thanks hun ,0.0
8293,only two days of holidays left and so much homework to do ,2.0
8294,so so sleepy up till  am doing an assignment for uni getting too old to be up till  ,2.0
8295,im just helping sam deal with life on the road he misses his mom ,2.0
8296,hey twitters havent been avoiding u guys jus prepin  surgery on wed gotta get my wisdom teeth pulled ouch dont like the dentist ,2.0
8297,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
8298,i have been drinking and i am lonely is it wrong to just want to be with someone just to feel like i am wanted i honestly at a point where i am fine with someone pretending to want to be with me drinking doesnt help but damn it feels good for my body to be as numb as the rest of me ,3.0
8299,i need to type sometimes i get really depressed now i question my religion life isnt enjoyable anymore for a while i type and play video games to keep my depression away most of my life everyone thinks im fine but really ive really been dying inside most of my life but i tell myself it could be worse right,3.0
8300,emotional support animal questions ustx hi everyone newbie to rdepression i hope this post is allowed i am leaving a toxic relationship of  years and the thought of living solely alone terrifies me i take medication for my depression and anxiety but i need a companion to help me move forwarddoes anyone know how to start the process to getting an emotional support animal i know there are websites you can visit to start it but they seem too good to be true i dont currently have health insurance so seeing a therapist would most likely be out of my budget and the down deposit for an animal is absolutely insane and out of my budget i really would appreciate any advice thanks all,3.0
8301,new here but not new to mental struggles well ive been going through some issues lately im not new to depression by any means but damn man its getting really tough im excelling at work im one of the top guys i just cant get it together once work is over for the day i stuck a shotgun in my mouth yesterday just to see how it felt that really scared me is it so hard to just be happy in your free time,3.0
8302,finally in orlando ,0.0
8303, theawkchrist rudygiuliani 🙄 irs nsa va fastampfurious benghazi riseofisis drones solyndra apology tour ba ,1.0
8304,starting meds my therapist has decided that its time that i started antidepressants and im sorry to be posting about this and being attention seeking but im worried about the increased suicide rate that comes with the first few weeks of starting them and all the other side effects i dont really have anyone to confide in about this stuff anymore and i have a long history of selfharm and suicidal thoughts sorry again for posting,3.0
8305,miss my sis christy very much didnt see her for many days ,2.0
8306,i feel like a number i realized things were getting bad with how i perceived myself when i started looking at myself as a number and not as a personim just  in  billion people nothing will happen if i just stop existing right nowtheres so many kids in my family whats the loss if  doesnt reach adulthoodmy friends have so many other friends  can just disappear and be easily replacedi honestly feel like if i just stop existing right at this moment it wouldnt be much or a loss at all after all what is  compared to numerous others who actually have the will to live,3.0
8307,finally out of bed good morning all twitter very slow this morning ,2.0
8308, olive said she would teach me but nigga is always too drunk to do it ,2.0
8309,this blister is quoteinaquot  going to put the heater on screw eskom my room and i are freezingbusiness management is not so exciting ,2.0
8310,rt queenguillotine this isnt even funny especially the last comment abusive relationships are hard to leave a lot of times although s,0.0
8311,rt theveganqueen i guarantee you were getting more than enough d ,0.0
8312,to those who feel dejected or suicidal but havent told anyone i grew up with my emotions being centered around sadness any joy excitement or thrill i experienced was always quickly reverted back to a state of melancholy and dejection i was never clinically labeled as depressed because i never told anyone how i felt i was never examined one reason why despair was so prevalent within me was due to not having conversations about my feelings which only amplified my negative thoughtsi still believe that i had good reasons to avoid talking about my thoughts with others during my upbringing my parents argued and were terrible and negotiating my parents hit me and scorned me which made me afraid of them my parents rarely asked me how i felt which reveals further lack of consideration for my well being my sister and i mimicked our parents we mostly argued some people at school were bullies emotional expression was a target for them to attack i was not willing to take the risk my extended family was keen on threatening and hitting children which made them untrustworthy from my perspectivemy depression was initiated and perpetrated by the complete disregard that other people had towards me since i could not get angry without fear of attack and i could not leave my situation i was sifted into a complacency role as a dependent and anxious child in a merciless and unsympathetic environmentif your experience is in any way similar to mine then i want to remind you of what you already knowyour suffering is not your faultyour suffering is mostly due to the environment and circumstances that you are subjected to by the design of your parentssometimes we have to lie to others in order to protect ourselves from further damage that our peers and guardians will cause ussometimes we have to lie to others and that includes saying that we hate ourselvesi am here to argue that you do not hate yourselfyou hate everyone around you that allowed for and did not protect you from the predators that lurked within your tribe or communityfor that i am sorry,3.0
8313,is so glad dat he lost  lbs only  lbs to go ,2.0
8314,is really wishing she had done more revision for her exam monday ,2.0
8315,my anxiety disorder convincing my subconscious to develop more irrational phobias and disorders ,2.0
8316,that trayvon martin documentary sad as hell man,2.0
8317,only place in the world that serves vegetarian adobo has closed im devastated ,2.0
8318,rt merderswift imagine how nice it would be to not have social anxiety wow wish i could relate,0.0
8319,with rebecca for the night   disturbed concert tomorrow ,0.0
8320,at workkk its only wednesday ,2.0
8321,kiyaha blin sms treba bulo pysaty  mau province flag ale ne znau chy vin vdoma ya tobi hiba vyshlu,2.0
8322, iamfonda cjdisabledvet you cant fool this lady she survived the great depression amp dust bowl ampwwii,2.0
8323,painting the accent walls apple green and a burnt orange faux finish orange orange orange  why dont more people like orange ,0.0
8324,i really want to talk to her but my moms too effin nosey ,2.0
8325,does anyone else feel like you want people to care but when they do you feel embarrassed and try to act like everythings okay i dont know why i do this i dont like appearing vulnerable i guess or maybe because my minds so messed up they wouldnt be able to help me anyway and its daunting to explain everything,3.0
8326,me and ann made a video   its purrty exciting ,0.0
8327,  the cone of shame ,2.0
8328,rt dollyste 💪💪😀👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🙃🤛another one with mental health issues 😀😀 ,1.0
8329,postpartum depression or just sad about life i had a baby a little over a year ago during the pregnancy my spouse and i fought regularly they seemed so uncaring and unsympathetic to any challenges i was facing it made me very depressed after our fights i would calm myself down by saying to myself maybe ill die in labor and my baby will be able to live a long and happy life without me it was very important to me that my baby get the best life i could offer itafter the birth i had some medical complications and sleep deprivation which put me in a state of survival mode telling myself take one step at a time someday this will end my spouses family came to help despite my concerns that they might make me feel worse my spouse was sure their presence would be better than being alone i was so depressed while they were here i was a zombie of a person constantly lonely and isolated yet surrounded in people my baby is perfect they make me incredibly happy and i feel lucky to have them in my life it feels like the pregnancy and postpartum period highlighted my spouses callousness in a way id never realized  i think i expected that they would step up and be caring because they love me overall they are a good person but if they cant personally understand why im upset about something then they have zero sympathy in their mind if im emotional and upset for an irrational reason then i should calm down i thought i would get a pass during pregnancy i didnt now here we are with a perfect baby good jobs a nice place to live and i just feel off it feels fake it feels like i made a big mistake theres someone at work who i really enjoy spending time with my mind imagines a universe where we are a couple and live happily ever after i have to remind myself that im married i have a child my colleague is partnered etc a part of me overinterprets every interaction with this individual as a possible sign that they like me too when i remind myself that its all in my head  i become very sad i dont feel happy but i cant identify a change in my life that would make me happier ,3.0
8330,rt enjajaja ayo fuck my depression  dont tell her i said that tho im terrified of her,1.0
8331, i know i love it too but hubby unemployed since feb amp im only just getting back to working take a while to build  boo ,2.0
8332,im really angry with myself ive done everything im supposed to ive been to so many therapists psychiatrists programs inpatient outpatient and am on my  medication and im still a messi want out of my situation so badly but the setbacks just keep coming im officially stuck for a year and all i can do is work and save up in the meantime but i cant even do that i got multiple job offers it was practically laid out for me and yet after each interview i just started sobbing and then the suicidal thoughts have gone into overdrive why am i being such a drama queen i feel like a brat who refuses to do my choresthey arent even hard jobs the one i took the people seem really nice and its very laid back why cant i just go in why am i sitting in bed sobbing  minutes before im supposed to go in i wish i could just grow up and function like im supposed to i was supposed to grow out of this medication was supposed to fix me therapy was supposed help me i dont know i just feel so hopelessi dont even know what im supposed to do when i get out of my situation i wont be physically in the same place and the environment im going to be in will be less comfortable but like so what running away doesnt fix me i dont know im so sick of myself,3.0
8333,rt healthylivingo how to make lavender lemonade to get rid of headaches amp anxiety httpstcoinofaraqpd,2.0
8334,got pulled all over the place by the dogs today  not very fun,2.0
8335,really really alone im a  year old who is currently doing college online but i plan to move on campus for my senior year im pretty excited about that but in the meantime i feel so alone and so pointless i get more and more lonely everyday i spendive been taking antidepressants for about  weeks now so it hasnt been that longbut im feeling completely hopeless i have a horrible selfesteem i feel like ill never make it anywhere in life and honestly  i dont see a future i dont think im going to have one and ive talked about this with my mom before because shes told me i can tell her anything but i can see her patience with me wearing and i dont blame her who would want to hear thisits sad we used to be so close but now i feel like no one likes me i feel like no one wants to be around me because i talk less i enjoy things less i cant help it i just feel so damn alonesorry i just needed to talk in a space where i feel understood thanks for reading this i want to be me again,3.0
8336,shat out a large ropelike type  ,0.0
8337,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
8338,i dont know what to do anymore anyone else feel like theyve just totally forgotten who they are now i feel like my personality is just constant anxiety and trying to please people im sick of this shit i fucking hate myself and i dont mean just low self esteem im so cringe worthy and patronising like im amazed my friends still like me but then comes the anxiety and the doubt do they really like me or am i annoying i should try harder to be less annoying this shits exhausting i want to be happy and not even the shitty pills ill be taking for the rest of my fucking life are gonna make that happen for me i feel like im fludded with viruses im not a good person who do i go to about this how do i change my personilty i dont want to care anymore i just wish this bullshit would stop ,3.0
8339,rt coolcoffeedan please dont be sad 💙 ,2.0
8340,rt jennijannet hate that mood youre in where you are not sad mad nor happy just feel some type of way you just dont know what youre,1.0
8341,why you shouldnt be jealous i spent all day in bed  huffpost ,2.0
8342,jeehaeda happy happy birthday have a wonderful day ,0.0
8343,dennisdemori this is an oversimplification and demonstrably untrue ive known multiple people that got plenty of ,1.0
8344,sad,0.0
8345,i finally made an appointment with a therapist for the first time in my life feeling nervous i have an appointment with a therapist today ive never seen one and dont really know what to expect honestly   i wouldnt even know how to begin talking to them anyone have any tips,3.0
8346,gonna be all alone tonite   i want my girl to come by,2.0
8347,pcl tonite  get at me for the official gameplan ,0.0
8348,does anybody else here hate having to go to sleep i dont have depression as bad nowadays as i used too but its still  bad enough that somedays i just cant do anything and just want to stay in bed for hours because life just feels pointless and i feel like im never going to get betteron the days that i can get up and do stuff i dont ever want to go back to sleep because when i do there is nothing to distract me from myself i take hours to get too sleep because i feel awful about everything and i cant stop thinking about stuff so i just lay there feeling terrible for hours im writing this right now at  am totally sleep deprived from not sleeping last nightis there anybody else like me i just hate being left alone with my thoughts esspecially at night when there just simply nobody else around and it just feels like im completely alone,3.0
8349,how to cope with self loathing throughout my day i judge myself and what i say its quite exhausting really if i speak i often think afterwards that i shoulfld of kept quiet because it made me look stupid or something like that are there coping strategies to try or ways to stop myself from doing so,3.0
8350, problems only happy people with depression understand ,1.0
8351,enamoredsoul abt ursjust being curious ,0.0
8352,not enuf sunday  jazz club dad moroselooking upholstery guy ,2.0
8353,being dragged into a home store  yuck ,2.0
8354,hellalorde thats what you get has and always will be a bop  and yes some of them are sad but some are kinda joyf ,0.0
8355, more tweet prcog good riddance time of your life  green day good song ,0.0
8356,last year bila dapat tahu result upu aku stress bukan sebab tak dapat law tapi sebab dapat uum hahhahahahahahha,2.0
8357,just realized on myspace that they dont have to approve the comments u post on the statusthis is going to be fun ,0.0
8358,xsuzannee i know haha  if you come to the uk go the men gt epic venue,0.0
8359,so far this has been a not so fun day  but looking for some goodness to come out of it,2.0
8360,i think im gonna sleep on my floatie tonight ,0.0
8361,lolyall are going to this generation me to death,2.0
8362,kodachrome finally taken away  as time marches on the old and wise can get left behind  httpviigoimzwa,2.0
8363,my phone died like an hour ago im super bummed ,2.0
8364,genjerleigh no what is it ,2.0
8365,help getting help anyone have a life hack for actually getting help rather than telling yourself you need help but dont do anything about it ive been stuck in the hole for a long time of recognizing the need for help but not having the willpower to move forward i am irrationally afraid of all doctors in general and i know i need to help myself mentally and physically but i cant even bring myself to make a phone call to set up an appointment ,3.0
8366,madame butterfly was fantastic awesome decor great to see old univ friend singing kates character  well done janelle,0.0
8367,you know i always thought twitter would help me find my next boyfriend sadly social media does not work that way ,2.0
8368,really confused i really dont know what to do ,2.0
8369,got accepted to college and dont feel accomplished i recently got accepted to a decent school and i didnt feel a sense of pride my sister is a genius and attends a top  college and i didnt and i feel like i cant compete with her,3.0
8370,flightskoolgrad haha im working ,2.0
8371,excited about meeting the baby and being pool side tomorrow ,0.0
8372,ryanstewart starting to get the hang of it  although i cant seem to figure out how to delete an item from the library tab am i crazy,0.0
8373,mirder waits for you to get caught cause you twitterd dat ,0.0
8374,rauchr the tweeter for hiltonbayfront is me leah shader htm ,0.0
8375,brspall thanks for the ff it was an insanely busy dayno zen garden for me ,2.0
8376,soooim kind of sick n tired of the bs that guys dish out  ,2.0
8377,slius hey my friendhes stil so nice to me but has a gf  its on his status now,2.0
8378,woollymittens hope this week will be continues like this ,0.0
8379,rt fingergunsstump this is your daily reminder that thanos should never listen to the first verse of the only difference between martyrdo,1.0
8380,aplusk dont tell me that im going there in  weeks ,2.0
8381,after a  years treatment my parents are on the verge to ruining all my improvements in mental health i dont want to expose myself to much because that is not a throwaway account any ways ill try to give a brief backstorysince i was really young i had a really difficult relationship with my parents my father was really distant and verbally aggressive he said multiple times during my childhood that i was just a problem in his life and my and my sister just made his life worse  i am an accidental birth guy it made me a really insecure child and my mother was a narcissist parent it was really difficult grown old my grandmother was the only person that i could look up for affection and care in my early teen years my father was basically absent because of his work and my mother was totally obsessed with my grades and college course choice i was good student but all that pressure simple made me nuts i had severe anxiety but if my grades were fine everything was fine until a day that i just lose it and had a panic attack in my little brother party i mean to all my relatives i was a polite and good  years old so seen me going nuts and bursting into tears made them really woriedafter that i start seen a therapist and i was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and agoraphobia my disorders really made it extremely difficult to have a normal social life and my medicines werent being effective after  months i started getting worse and was diagnosed with depression my grandmother changed my therapist  and i started new medsfast forward  years in my life i was having great improvements in my treatment and in my mental health my meds were working i had a parttime job was dating a girl that now is my girlfriend and had just passed in the high school national test and had had great grades so i was just waiting to my college admission in not from us basically everything was going well but for reasons that i dont know my father was being a pain in the ass always complaining about thing and starting to be aggressive towards my mother and my sister one day he was being aggressive and i stepped up and confronted him i said that i wouldnt let him yell at them nor treat them and if he wanted i would fight him my father yelled at me but i yelled back and i think that the fact that i was now a grown ass man clicked in his head and he calmed down and apologized after that my mother and siste were pissed at my because they said i shouldnt confront my father i felt angry because i had just defended then and they where pissed at mein some months i simply could not stand being in my house anymore beyond the fights my parents were always underestimating my illness and blaming other things than themselves as the cause of my depression not being religious playing video games  and thing like that so i just couldnt handle it anymorewhen i was  i started college and moved from my parents house to my grandmothers house it was one of the best decisions of my life living almost  years here was just great my therapist lowered my medicine dosage i am feeling great made new friends currently having a great relationshipmy mother comes to my grandmother house often at least  time in the week to have dinner and thing like that i speak to her normally but it always come to the same subject she wants me to come back home because my father miss me  i am not really resentful towards my mother but i am towards my father and we really never had a fatherson bond after i grownup so he sadnnes doesnt really worry methe problems is in a recent family trip i discovered that my sister thinks that i am a ungrateful prick and my mother seems to support he to certain degree i felt really bad about it because the emotional scars that my father left on my made me feel insecure most of my life i was so angry that for everyone in the family i am ungrateful and my father is just the good guyi dont want any approval or take revenge on my father i just want to by left alone by then those days are being the worst in my life since i started having panic attacks my girlfriend is being really great and comprehensive but i cant help dont feeling  like thras and that maybe they are right the last week i spent crying and being fucking anxious about thingsi dont know if this post is getting any responses any way i just needed to write my feelings thanks to any one who read that and english is not my first language so im sorry that it is so poorly written,3.0
8382,gg if u had asked i would of gone ,2.0
8383,on his break cant wait till hes off   opening tomorrow at  ,2.0
8384,me and lucy lost all our badminton games ,0.0
8385,calmol happiness is a warm gun  ha,2.0
8386,my books    ,0.0
8387,i feel a little sad and dissapointed ,2.0
8388,not sad just empty no energy im a liar i am a thief i am anti social,3.0
8389,want to die lowkey my sophomore year of high school was the worst of my depression it was horrible even though i am spoiled and fortunate than others like those who cant afford a lot   this was all last year and now my junior year i feel like i dont get as sad anymore or want to kill myself ive been through a lot and ive honestly been happier than before but whenever i get into my car to drive i always want someone to tbone me or something go wrong with my car and i die from it so then it wouldnt be my fault and people will forget about it quicker cuz its a pretty common way of dying which is all the most ideal way to die if u know what i mean so its like i know i want to die deep down and i wanna kill myself but i care about what the people around me will feel like basically im here to see if anyone else is experiencing this or what,3.0
8390,earthflakes have a fabulous monday  ,0.0
8391,vivalali i miss that place horrid service but really good sandwiches  btw i still dont forgive u for moving there after i leave pout,0.0
8392,lalaflamingo yes this legalenglish speech is killing me to the boneee ,2.0
8393,funkybabygirl oh mann  im good thanks going out to the cinema in a bit youu xx,2.0
8394, yeah it really was ,0.0
8395,depression can give you spiked energy seriously ive somehow stumbled onto information saying this i know most people know it as bogging you down but when it comes to severe depression ive never experienced being bogged down or overly tired i always assume im anxious yet various mental health professionals have wanted to treat me for depression as well im just curious if others have had experience with extra energy when depressed,3.0
8396,i dont know anymore everyday i feel like my life is repeating and i feel like there is a loop and i cant stop it i wake up get depressed go to work depressed and then get angry later on in the day is this a young people issue i dont anymore ,3.0
8397,its  and we still continue to ignore mental health,2.0
8398,i want my home ,2.0
8399, thanks ,2.0
8400,aww hell im home now back to being bored ,2.0
8401,watching private practice sooooo sad ,2.0
8402,chellybum how nice of you ahahaha ,0.0
8403,i find myself denying my abuse ever happened i havent healed and need to accept it to cope but my brain almost wont allow me and im falling apart has anyone else felt this trigger warning please do not read this post if honest and open discussion of abuse will upset you two and a half years ago i was physically abused over the course of two nights by my partner of four years it resulted in him trying to kill me i was lucky in that he and i were long distance and when i escaped i flew back home and was able to decide that was that after an emotionally abusive relationship the physical abuse was the final straw i joined the military a longterm dream of mine and promised to put the past behind me and never talk about it again thought i was strong and overcame it but in reality thats not true at all in the past two and a half years i did just that not a single person knew about this my partner of  years never knew i saw therapists who i never spoke to about this my parents who knew about this because they called the police never mentioned it again it was almost as if it didnt happen at all i was able to freely talk about my ex as if he was just a normal ex however ive noticed recently that ive felt incredibly isolated these past two years i havent felt deep connections with anyone not even my parter i dated for  years i couldnt connect with anyone and felt so alone and i grew anxious and depressed and seeked help and nothing worked i dont mean to bring up religion but i eventually turned to my faith and found i was really struggling with that too today though in church the message was that you must face your past to move on with your future and although i hear that all the time for whatever reason everything came back everything things i havent thought of in over two years every detail everything and i was messed up this morning like really messed up almost as if it happened yesterday but even in this one day ive fluctuated between being not okay and processing it to believing it never happened again and almost feeling like im making it up like im not making it up but my brain keeps feeling like i am is this normal is this because ive denied it for so long that my brain has just accepted it dealing with this is not something that i want to do but i havent been me in two years and ive realized that i want to accept it and cope but i dont know how,3.0
8404,cleaning my room ,2.0
8405, thats not true i have short stubby fingers i used to play the shit out of my moms piano  i have faith in you ,0.0
8406,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
8407,good doper beck is out absolutely destroyed his racquet at the end alves getting killed not keeping up his reputation as a fighter ,2.0
8408,when to know to go back on medication hey guysi suffer from depressionanxiety for about  years i took lexapro with the latter years being a very very low dose  mg a week and then came off for the past year completely i dont know if i can attribute my improvements over those years to the medication but im sure it played a part i feel in the later years is when i really made progress with perhaps not such a high dose i exercised a lot etcanyway in the last  months i had quite a stressful period defending phd and searching for job it really got me so im edge and i was highly anxious and stressed to a degree where i went back to see therapist etc for help i hit quite a low but now things are not as bad however they are not as good as they were depression presenting a bit more frequentlymy therapist was switched over last few months and after that the stress of job search etc really got to me and the new therapist saw me go downhill he recommended that i consider medication at the time however in the past week or two i have been somewhat better and am not sure what to do regarding medication i do not know if i want to go back on it or whether i need to some days are bad some days not so much part of me wants to fight it but part of me wonders if im up against a wallis there any way to know whether going back on meds is good for yourselfthanks so much,3.0
8409, mass effect  all the way ,0.0
8410,gishboy seriously gives up as u wont talk to me  fine then,2.0
8411,finished my jobs for the day amp typically the sun has finished for the day too ,2.0
8412,if you are a single rider on a bus ride you should switch seats to let freinds sit together   its just the nice thing to do,2.0
8413, i know i am  i didnt get to bed till  am think i need another large coffee and a shower what you up to today ,0.0
8414,mischobeauty anytime im ok dealing with a swollen eye ,2.0
8415,is back from college and laying next to her gorrrrrrrrrrrgeous boyfriend in bed ,0.0
8416,according to twci it is going to rain in new york city for the next ten days awesome i want to be back on a film set ,2.0
8417,depression is when cheer up is the most annoying thing to hear it sucks when people tell you to cheer up when you fucking cant,3.0
8418,has something gone wrong with tweetdeck after a few weeks absence  its not working for me ,2.0
8419,also finished all his goodbye letters ,0.0
8420,paulcho ha yeah i guess ,0.0
8421,scratch that last twitter i am worried just worried  ugh,2.0
8422,waking up in vegas ,0.0
8423,greeneash what was your favorite place to see in italy i hope filming went well looking forward to nov  ,0.0
8424, thanks now i know how u feel ,2.0
8425,one man is hard to finish such many things ,2.0
8426,just got done having a fabulous conversation with jess now i am going to bed ,0.0
8427,suesshirtshop yep thats what makes everything interesting ,0.0
8428,nice seeing my partner in crimegossip drama queen partner again i missed my manda ,2.0
8429,cresentm sorry to hear that i dont think theres anything you can say ,2.0
8430,is it over my closest friend was mad at me for something that never happened and we cleared it up and she says shes no longer mad but she is mad she says shes not and even though i know shes not i know that at the same time shes lying and that shes one by one convincing our friend group that im bad why do i think this and why cant my friends love me like i love them if people dont love me what is my purpose i love everyone i dont feel it back,3.0
8431, hey sweetheart  are you referring to someone i unfollowed,0.0
8432,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
8433,doez anyone else struggle with night terrors for about a year now ive been struggling with night terrors and horrible nightmares not sure on what the cause is at all and have kind of just put up with them but theyve recently been getting worse and worse since ive been on medication sertralineim just curious as to whether this is something other people tend to deal with as well it was somewhat bearable but now its occuring probably  nights a week and had one night terror last night followed by several nightmares which were all disgustingly horrifying its begining to affect me getting out and being proactive as i dont feel well rested like i used to and dont end up going into uni or staying in until the very last minute before i need to leave for work such as today where i was meant to be in uni at  but am currently still laying in with all the curtains drawn at itd be nice to hear if anyone else had dealt with this before and is able to share something on what worked or didnt work for them to help resolve it,3.0
8434,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
8435,my life has fallen apart hi i just wanted to share my story i feel like getting it off my chest would maybe helpive always struggled with feeling down i have a habit of knocking myself out and cutting myself struggled big time with self harm in general long story short  years ago i had to leave my apartment due to my housemate being a thief couldnt get anywhere to stay im based in dublin ireland so ended up moving to london had a great job there with fantastic prospects however i was so lonely and depressed i broke up with the love of my life over the phone as i wanted her to get away from me as i planned on killing myselfshe ignored my calls and texts which i dont blame her just would have been nice to talk to her again she was my best friend it was recommended to me to move back to dublin as i had people around me i moved back and within one month of arriving home i developed a cocaine and alcohol addiction three years later ive had to leave two jobs due to me cutting myself on site i have zero motivation for work and drink myself into oblivion every night i havent cut myself this year so far but i have knocked myself out several times im fairly tired of being tired would just love to die really im so disappointed with life and with people im angry all the time thanks for listening,3.0
8436,rt mcmurphysminion cc rodneydavis govrauner replahood protectourcare ilsaveaca iamapreexistingcondition bc i have depressio ,1.0
8437,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
8438,quiznos pesto all over turkey sandwich  manager acted like shed never heard of pine nuts bitch employee v nice and remade,2.0
8439,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
8440,zachive battled intense anxiety for a couple years i started taking cbd oil less than a year ago and its httpstcodlaycdaqfx,2.0
8441, umto where my love my phone is dead  im buying a new one tomorrow ,2.0
8442,acmorawski damai like the condo like damai because sue lives there  btw yes to tennis ,0.0
8443,how can i cope with sad lonely dark cold nights bloody miserable here its still winter im horribly alone im fucking up at school and everyone else is doing better than methis doesnt make sense maybe but i can just feel the darkness pressing in literally and figuratively,3.0
8444,realdonaldtrump randpaul hey don  once again rand has grandstanded for publicity then caved sad,1.0
8445,brainfn totally awesome im blown away  napster all over again ,0.0
8446, i feel bad for nick cuz nuggest is about to loseee ,2.0
8447,im sad angry tired and alone i have an exit plan each night i stare at the ceiling for hours until i finally manage to fall asleep my sleep is always terrible and i wake up feeling worse than when i went to bed i could sleep all day and never feel rested i know from experiencei drag myself to work and even though i like my job and my coworkers i always feel isolated when i get home im still tired and my family just makes me angry im not attractive and i havent had a relationship since  hobbies bring me no happiness games make me angry and i dont have the energy to start anything new nothing makes me happyive decided im going to give myself  more years if i still feel the same way ive felt all my life at  years old ill get a fresh refill of my prescription and swallow every pillthis is my main reddit account so i will probably delete this later,3.0
8448,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
8449,wow you really had me fooled so freaking doneeeeeee ,2.0
8450,jordanknight omg jordan i need to win my way onto that ship i have to be there and im broke  love you,2.0
8451,very rainy and windy today  i feel extra cozy in this little trailer  ,0.0
8452,im so glad summers finally here ,0.0
8453,adambaldwin thanks a million ,0.0
8454,internationalxl  hi ,0.0
8455,im  and im nothing back when i was still in school i have never really did well in academically just an average kid who does not excel in anything and barely made it through but i realise i like arts and want to pursue it when i finish high schooli was kinda excited and nervous when i discovered myself liking arts before my finals before graduating high school because i was more to a math amp science student all that timewhen i told my family about my dreams of pursuing arts after high school they were shocked telling me that im young amp inexperience that im unaware how the world outside works and saying there isnt any future in doing those artsand a bunch of stuffmaybe im emotionally fragile but that really break my heart at that time im indeed young amp inexperiencemaybe a dream is just a dream not everyone can afford pursue their dreamsbeing the eldest and not from a wealthy family i have no choice but to give up my dream or at least put my dream on hold carrying a heavy heart trying my hardest to do as toldpursue engineering however i still required to do preu course with year   maths specialist maths chemistry physics  before heading to actual engineeringthat year in preu age  was horrifyingsyllabus was harder beyond my expectation in that year i felt nothing but hopelessness and sorrow nevertheless i managed to complete that  year program but terrible results with those results i couldnt use it to apply anywhere or any degree because i got a very low scorebasically wastedelders in my family was obviously angry and disappointed we did sat down and discuss and i brought up the topic of doing arts you could guess it by now they said it was useless i remember saying that i do not wish no pursue science anymore as i find it difficult to comprehend so they want me to pursue finance instead and end up in the accounting course accahere im stuck halfway through in acca ever since age  really tried my hardest to preserve and focus on my studies regardless of i feel or think but i couldnteverything seems to be a huge obstacle to meso suffocatingso agonizingright now im already age  without a certificate skill knowledge interest foundation in any field no actual working experience only some minor part time jobs i felt like i have wasted my  years of life and also the rest of my lifei feel so dead inside and couldnt see there is any future left for mecurrently im just living day by day aimlessly amp miserablywhat is there for me to get back upi honestly have no ideaappreciate in advance those who took time to read my posti hope there is still something in me,3.0
8456,planethealer so it is a child singing  how sweet i am a grandma of two ,0.0
8457,rt pressure depression never arrives aloneit brings along its friends despair selfinjury and suicidedepression is the invisible pl,1.0
8458,batchout hey did i do something ,2.0
8459,got a girls aloud domain going spare duno what the hell to do with it ,2.0
8460,fail njclare hey  bgt yay at least julien got a contract  place  i loved him quotim a failurequot wahhhhhhh  cant wait till summer ,2.0
8461,been watching cheesy movies with nadines all day well house of  corpses is far from cheesy relaxing now thinking of my matt ,2.0
8462, ah yes and yes i would rather blame kevin than take the blame myself ,0.0
8463,greeneash lucky you ,0.0
8464,xmcrsavedmex kaffrin omggg come online babes need to talk to someone ,0.0
8465,is paranormal state real its kinda craaaazy ,0.0
8466,i cant find my beret my thickler my ballpens and hanky gaaaaaaaaaaadddd i need them tomorrow ,2.0
8467,is offts  cardiff but gets  cum home afta work ,0.0
8468,i hope my firefly dvds come tomorrow i need to get my whedon fix soon since the buffy dvds are on backorder ,2.0
8469,twitter is hard to use   i think lol,2.0
8470,yay maffus back from motorbike ridin ahaha he broke the bike ,0.0
8471,watching my moviee ,0.0
8472,its already  in the morning im still enjoying chatting with mep chat mates ,0.0
8473,kayannjanet unfortunately the key sources have to be protected lest they get arrested or killed ,2.0
8474,today it has been  years since jathiros was originally created for an mmo i still identify with him time surely flies by ,0.0
8475,rogernall  not graduated but dropping instead its sad but belive me i feel like if was graduating leaving school is what i needed,2.0
8476,baxaphobia get used to it it will happen a lot ,2.0
8477,if im having depressive symptoms and the type of weed i have gives me anxiety it will balance it out right,1.0
8478,blissery naintriga tuloy ako sa the road gusto ko na rin mabasa  ano pa ba ibang novels niya,2.0
8479,man being a little kid is hard   i remember,2.0
8480,adriyah clinique yung cream liner nla ill try to find it sa duty freekasi wla sa rustans ,2.0
8481,its sad to see the great years trout have go to waste every year easily should have way more mvps than he does ,1.0
8482,laurendestroyer my phone died and i was busy  my baddddblackpeople,2.0
8483,just found out my grandpa has been put in hospice care  ,2.0
8484,i still cant forget the memories from a dinner in napolis and a night out  dolce with colleagues very fun i feel alive again ,0.0
8485,oriondc damn mines still three and half months away ,2.0
8486,in a recording studio in north hollywood just finished recording a sample ,0.0
8487,im not sleeping at all until thisisryanross accepts my appology ,2.0
8488,cant fall asleep ,2.0
8489,aaaaah i  this d last day of summer  amp  day of school   mesigh oh wellit was fun while it lastedhere we go again ,0.0
8490,crap i forgot no more free phone internet ,2.0
8491,i am a mess ive always had problems with my depression and seeing everything as grey but its just all catching up to me i lost one of my best friends in the world to suicide in  and that was what started to push me deep into the ground more recently ive lost my girlfriend of  years i feel so scared to talk to people anymore and only feel comfortable being alone ive lost all of the color in my life and it just feels grey i dont feel like i really have anything left to lose and im better off just crashing by myself so i dont hurt anyone this feeling has been a steady climb for years and im really tired of it all i cant even make myself sleep to avoid it im struggling to even type this with how much of an idiot trying to even describeword my feelings im not worth it,3.0
8492,you know the sad thing about betrayal it never comes from the enemy,2.0
8493,thenaomi went outside fell off my bike and incurred my first of many biking injuries for the summer now im going to hide inside ,0.0
8494,is home and cleani love festivals ,0.0
8495,rt trcfwtt im painting the trim amp baseboards in my house and had to move my hillary campaign stuff and just lost it today started cryin,0.0
8496,i am so depressed and i live with my boyfriend advice please english is not my first language so im sorry if my writing is bad i have been so depressed for the last  months me and my bf have been together for  years and living together for  years now this year we moved to a different city for my new volunteerpositionmy whole life i have been on and off depressed and on and off with different therapists last week i almost admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital i feel so out of it i dont know what to doafter getting together with him i pretty much isolated myself from my friends he has some controlling tendencies looooong story with a family member of his hating me tried to screw up my entire life also this whole aspect of my life is super stressful i hate his family and feel so uncomfortable dealing with themi feel so depressed and he always asking always hoping im having a better day is making me exhausted also my sex drive is completely gone tired of pretending i feel better than i do always having to smile and pretend im all good he is convinced i should start working out etc to get out of depression not appearance also that my negative way of thinking is not healthy that is just my dark personality haha  he has never been depressedshould i be in a relationship right now i feel like it maybe does me more harm than goodsorry if this is just me rambling,3.0
8497, i cya believe i forgot to call u on ur bday hun   nice to know u had a good day tho belated happy birthday hun,2.0
8498,earthfire jeebus i havent been to america for yonks im always in a state tho ahahaha  ,0.0
8499,earltwitition  rip earl ,2.0
8500,ktsummer thanks lol ,0.0
8501,picnic with lil sis anniky or pron with my quotbooskiquot   family first see you  lil siss,2.0
8502,philloau thats okay  how is the housework,0.0
8503,agingbackwards my beauty is reflecting you gorgeous  always great to see you  make any vids lately how are book sales,0.0
8504,nobody wants a sad tweet so heres a happy one life sucks for most people and there are moments of joy and then httpstcojfjatpfnbt,0.0
8505,my phone cant run music station ,2.0
8506,cailah what why ,2.0
8507,check out dfizzy live at httplivedfizzycom hes awesome ,0.0
8508,youngbroad anytime babe im glad that u were able to find joy even in this  ,0.0
8509,jose and edwar just graduated  im really proud,2.0
8510,maiysha enjoy your residency ,0.0
8511,wndrldy just got them for dudes ,2.0
8512, i dont have anymore dogs ,2.0
8513,fuck my throat hurts  i really hope kerri didnt give me her tonsilitus or however the hell its spelt lol,2.0
8514,sixthseal  pinkpau i r not femes i gots no email ,2.0
8515,looking forward to a very long day of work ,2.0
8516, ewewewewew  thats horrible ,2.0
8517,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
8518,tjarnhem we are having an absolutely beautiful beach day today too  too bad im inside working at a computer ,2.0
8519,got hardcore ghosted super gloomy am i to blame met this person online about  months ago lets call this person sandy me and her talkedtexted for a month straight we hit it off almost instantly we would msg each other everyday about random shit to problems with life i felt really happy and excited when she would message me i was sure she felt the same thing usually a textingvideo chat session would last hours and would usually end if one of us fell asleep it was a great time its been three weeks now we have not had anything close to the level of interaction at the beginning i understand if we slightly burned out but we probably only share a few words each week i would always have to be the one the start convos would last a few exchanges to end to a lol or a  or a generic one word response at the beginning i thought we had burned out and i gave it time three weeks later and nothing has changed at this point part of me i wants to remove her and move on other half is stay around i dont know what is happening and why its effecting me so emotionally ,3.0
8520,feeling sorry for cameron right now ,2.0
8521,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
8522,ianfnelson exactly the same reason why i went with windsor silverlight  looks awesome but at this point i wont be using it ,2.0
8523,i cant keep fighting it anymore i was just taking my passport photo and i just saw how ugly i am snapchats camera never makes me look ugly but i took a photo with my phones camera for the first time in like two years and fuck that hit me hard im so ugly i havent worked out it two weeks now and i just cant anymore ive always tried fighting it telling myself to not care what others think and be tough but i just cant why do people hate me i go to school and every single day someone has to tease me about my looks or about me being quiet its not bullying i guess like it was last year literally being harassed everyday but it still hurts being tapped in the back walking through the hallways or people just throwing insults every now and then in some classes ive got terrible posture an ugly face and working out is whats kept me slightly confident and now i just cant keep going with it i cant even get good grades in school im constantly in pain because of my posture people constantly like to make fun of me  and i constantly just waste money on drugs im not trying to seem like an angsty teen and i dont plan on killing myself but fuck sometimes i feel like its what i gotta do ive realized that i can predict the next months of my life and life just feels so miserable i can tell you what my next months will be ill go to school in pain of course do nothing but sit in class and not do any of the work or turn anything in then come home with a head ache and maybe pass out then just play on my computer or watch tv for an hour or two and sleep i repeat that for the weekdays and then on weekends ill just be on my computer all day maybe get high in my room all by myself and think about how much my life sucks summer comes around and its finally a fresh breath of air its like being tortured to the point of wanting to die and then summer comes just to help you cool down for a little just to repeat the same shit i know people have it worse than me and that it could just be hormones but man i wish i didnt feel so bad,3.0
8524,the good boy dilema in a nutshell i  got a fondamental need to help people i care about no mather what is the problem if someone is in the shit all my behing urge me to find a way to help him even if its non of my business through the years i have learn how to make people in confidence and tell me or ask for my advice when they have a problem and im pretty good at it i think im also pretty good i finding the underlying cause of their problem but the real problem is that people never realy change most of the time unless people get shock by something they arent able to change themself in the deep on a long term and sooner or later relapse into their old habitso im stoke in this dilema either i try to help my love one with the politically correct way and fail and i see them suffer in their loop or i take them with the hard way who sometime work but almost all the time broke the relationship i dont know anymore witch one to chosei also got the  option i can cut all my relationship forever i dont get to see my love one suffer but i will eventualy die of lonelinessplease helpps sorry for bad english im french not from france,3.0
8525,coffee ,0.0
8526,yummm lucky charms ,0.0
8527,violetxoxox i will admit i felt this way yesterday and so i watched an american tail fievel goes west yes for real yay childhood ,0.0
8528,how to stay proactive during low days or when you dont feel like doing something even though you should i also have a problem with executive dysfunction adhdi just hate that i leave things behind and then nothing gets done,3.0
8529,ladyalana redolly partoncheck out michael johns take on a dolly song  httpbitlyeahnc,0.0
8530,mmmmeenal you is da bombdiggity daymi emailed him ,0.0
8531,m  uk its been a rough  months there has been a lot of things happening in my life over the last year and its really starting to get on top of megenerally my mood is low sleep is disrupted weightgain etc my mums health is deteriorating to the point of a transplant needed the same condition hereditary has been moving forward with memedications consultancies etc grandparent passed last year which was a really low point but i never properly got to grieve due to being a support for those in my immediate family family issues between my siblings and parents seemingly always ongoing currently my only respite from my shitty mood is food which leads to me gaining weight which makes me feel even more shitty  put on in the last  ive finally got the courage to go to the doctor this monday to try and get some help what can i expect from this sort of appointment ,3.0
8532, lol well i slathered with aloe so its better today for sure still burnt tho but maybe i can disguise the face with makeup ,0.0
8533,i am so awesome i tweet from canada ,0.0
8534,brieenuutbutter aww i wanna goooo  send me the pics,2.0
8535,rt dloesch proving that i occupy so much of their head space just affirms my influence rather than diminishing it thanks for taking arro,1.0
8536,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
8537,wtf is going on dayofthelocusts seems more like a twilight zone episode i am so lost ,2.0
8538,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
8539,this day started too early ,2.0
8540,so bored at work and im only an hour and a half in  blech,2.0
8541,jamopo leicester ive heard of that place have they got a footie team ,0.0
8542,swindon draw blackburn lose man this is turning into a nightmare season ,2.0
8543,good day everyone i hope you are pulling through  ive recently been falling and alienating myself and i feel numb but i just cant process my own thoughts but ive recently have been falling through but always know you and everyone else can do it ive been writing stuff to help myself and vent and i wanted to show this just to help you and know that i love you guys                           sunshinesunshine is a tender warm feelingdark nights only last for a dayyour hurt will help your strength peelingno one will ever take your sunshine awayyou may cry you may hurt and sometimes want to diebut everyone at one point has been in disarrayyou may fall you may weep you may just sometimes liebut trust me everything is going to be okayyou may think you have no one to give your sunshineyou will have someone to talk to always its just a matter of timeyou at times may have no feelings considering the end but its only a matter of hopewithout the pain in life we cant copeyou can feel the walls of eternal entropy closing inlook inside your rose heartyou may think you should pull it by the roots and throw it in a binyou will one day bloom and the thorns will not tear your roseate life apartwhoever is out there i want you to knowyou will achieve sunshine if you can accept the pace you growyou may worry about the bad things in life but accept your blooming dewwithout being patient for the sunshine you could have never been able to have grewwhoever you are out there know im proud of how far youve gone through and i love you for every step you have took no matter if no one knows what youve been through  i love you know that there are other that think the same too ,3.0
8544,ieathearts b���reeek sofort  ,0.0
8545,why am i sick ,2.0
8546,my poor dog is sick  but otherwise havin an awesome day,2.0
8547,i cant   buy the album  da songs r ahmazingi had  stay awake till   the chati got them stuck in my head jonasnewsongs,0.0
8548,bout to go to sleep feelin a lil puky tonight ,2.0
8549,can you break knuckles cz i think i did ,2.0
8550,mattconfusion hi teo yes here i amquite strange isnit still i dont wht but here i am ,0.0
8551,competencymgmt thanks  was good loved the mobile learning booth but they should definitely be on twitter ,0.0
8552,almost learnt the first section of drifting by andy mckee i really want to nail it before i go to section two ,0.0
8553,second account literally made this account so i could post sad shit im never gonna kill myself but im always gonna want to which is stupid i feel like i live in limbo im not happy with where or who i am and im never gonna change im just gonna be depressed forever thats bullshit on prozacfluoxetine it helps would recommend but the sadness lingers ,3.0
8554,getting ready for workdo i really have to go today ,2.0
8555,i am in fact still getting things done seriously people  losing saturday killed me  but im rockin it  plane in  hrs,0.0
8556,these pictures are taking forever to fucking upload  ima be up at this the whoooole fucking nite ,2.0
8557,bigchancetrick loll u shouldnttt shes prob sleepinggg ,2.0
8558,oh the last tweet that would be for wii ,0.0
8559,icyli sort of lol but the plans arent final or confirmed yet so dont worry about anything yet lol ,0.0
8560,  hi from my apartment in boston listening to my across the street neighbors practice with their brand kinda nice to have music ,0.0
8561,byatrobe busy tho busy in a v diff way fr how it used to be so far so gdhappy  thanks for asking  glad to hear ur shoots gg well,0.0
8562,mattwithers welcome back thought switching to education board or sg like that took up all your time ,0.0
8563,headin to the bank ,2.0
8564,morning all anyone watch quotmary queen of charity shops last nightquot loved the lady whod been there  years yet to be tilltrained ,0.0
8565,kingdomguard iam sure you will  i see you follow sam bobby and marcus ever seen them play,0.0
8566,struggling with the growing up and change im finding it very hard to comes to terms that im going to grow up and things will change i am at the point in my life where its time for me to go to college this causes me to spend lots of time mostly when driving thinking about what ive done with my life so far all i think about is the future how i will have my own life and that scares me for some reason i really do not like the idea of growing up i sit up at night thinking of what it means to age and mature and i never find an answer which doesnt help at all i have a lot of existential crises on a weekly basis trying to understand what life just brings me down and its weird because they just happen at random or after a milestone event like graduating high school age and death scare me they are always on my mind clouding my thoughts i just want to find a way to embrace change and growing up,3.0
8567,done with janeane ,0.0
8568,alohabruce i know lol its cause its fakarkte monday  and  is a good sport  the peanut gallery too haha,2.0
8569,on the phone just got some bad news ,2.0
8570,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
8571,and im missing some right nowget well soon girl ,0.0
8572,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
8573,rt  mujhy to aisa lagta ha meray ghr walay  din yahe sochtay ha ka sunday walay din ais sa kya kya kam karwanay ha 😢😢😢😢sa,2.0
8574,getting ready for bed its back to work in the morning ,2.0
8575,one month to go kakayanin pa ,2.0
8576,bizarrejc nope  dont have to move because its the only online phd program in country so i can be anywhere ,0.0
8577,johnpc any kind of nouns  pronouns  nouns substituting for verbs ,0.0
8578,so tired gonna sleep with my hair wet   httptweetsg,2.0
8579,saraflower they text books are talking about severe depression correct,1.0
8580,new haven ,0.0
8581,my dads really pissed off about it bcoz im sooooooo much younger than that ,2.0
8582,im tired all the time and am slipping please help almost  years of diagnosed depression the past few ive done so well graduated uni got a good job been with a great partner and i lost  im back at uni because i need something specific to be licensed and advance in my field only  years and im late  so not too bad but im struggling so much i didnt realize how much uni effected me until i was out amp back in been gaining weight from stress eating my dog is barely walked and is now over weight im tired all the time im so tired i do full time unpaid practicum work with  classes of homework on top of that im broke tired fat and a horrible dog owner the only thing keeping me from throwing in the towel is wellbutrin as it gives me some bursts of energy enough to stay afloat ive been through this i know what to do take baby steps make premade healthy dinners set aside a block of time to do xyz make sure im sleeping enough but its like im living in a cloud everything is hazy and i just want to go to sleep im so tired i just want to go back to how it was when i was making money and had the time amp energy to make an actual dinner then walk my dog my poor dog i want to go back to when i didnt have that awful looming feeling of homework and deadlines when i could do something fun without feeling guilty because i should be doing homework im really really really struggling i dont know what to do i keep trying to take baby steps a small walk with my dog here healthy snacks there but then i get all dizzy and tired again and i can barely think right my doc says im physically healthy and fine so i dont get ithelp  ,3.0
8583,the hottest game of the year free online word game with ppl from all over the world  and with a cool chat httpwwwrondowordgamescom,0.0
8584,shaker  انصحك ماتكمل المقطع  ,0.0
8585,verwon you are very much welcome ,0.0
8586,lizuk thats a talent i didnt know you wantedhad  remind me not to upset you in a chinese restaurant ,0.0
8587,amandacolbert lol its so sadnow my body is used  being up at nite amp sleeping in the day ,2.0
8588, i have to figure out how this works i dont get it  hope youre doing well,2.0
8589,zackalltimelow you cant let it get to you though theyd probably kiss your ass if you were in front of them  dbags will be dbags,2.0
8590,thesweetrelief you are a good person ,0.0
8591,sandradictation shes nicer to me than you sandi ,2.0
8592,when i was younger i had bright dreams for the future but now i cant be motivated when i was younger i had bright dreams for the future and really wanted to help people and make the world a better place now i feel as though no matter what i do everyone dies in the end and a difference isnt made when i was younger i was so excited to help i felt truly good about helping why is it that this has happened to me does anyone know any ways to combat this,3.0
8593,ms ads should make use of the fact that so many people have to use the genius bar first forced reboot of the day for me ,2.0
8594,stinkin dryers  the laundromat r too hot even on the coolest settings  i scorched my mattress pad ,2.0
8595,daanbrg omg you still on the show yawnn ,0.0
8596,good morning vegas  rip danny gans top  fav showz wish u could of saw it if u havent ,2.0
8597,minkus is he okay ,2.0
8598,its like a neverending stream of constant bullshittery ive been through so much and just when it feels like it will get better its like life realises and decides it needs to put its foot back on the throat and make it worse i am starting to believe more and more that it will never get better ive survived one attempt and wont do another but the thoughts are constant every single time i feel like i am on track it just gets worse i genuinely feel like it wont get better and the worse thing about that is that i am the one who will be worse off for it,3.0
8599,just got to hollyhood ,0.0
8600,should i feel more happy i just moved across the state of washington in the pursuit of getting my bachelors and making new memories i guess if you put my life in perspective someone might say i have a really good thing going im enrolled in school got an awesome job and an amazing boyfriend here with me but to be honest i dont feel very happy at all i feel alone stressed overwhelmed with balancing everything and just overall kind of miserable i miss my life back home where i had my closer family to go too friends that i could see the familiar area that i grew up in i even miss my old school and job i had i felt like i had to move because i needed a big change in my life everything is going fine here i guess im doing everything a  year old should be doing but i dont feel happy doing it  world problems i know ,3.0
8601,kitter is a sweet amp gentle cat with some anxiety issues that his cone helps him manage he will make some lucky per ,0.0
8602, cries i wish you would stop talking about the fact that hes not my baby anymore ,2.0
8603,bracman haha ive ed john mayer before too no response ,2.0
8604,home now wanting to be with b ,2.0
8605,woke up in a work frenzy  sun is out and i need to go play  all work and no play not very becoming   old bad pattern ms lea,0.0
8606,sajith be careful dude  the flight fares tax you too much,0.0
8607,wearetheoceans the phoenix in cov right by the uni workin till half  so well be there bout half  ,0.0
8608,msalicev its awesome ,0.0
8609,juliarygaard   i thought id be seeing more of you ,0.0
8610,rt whatsinthenews cctv video परेशानियों से हारकर ख़ुदकुशी करने निकला था ये शख़्स ज़िंदगी जीती मौत हारी।  rpfcr,1.0
8611,dementedpuppet never hats rule all just think of tomi ,0.0
8612, wow youre lucky girl i hope  see them  dayive  keep waiting  my dream  come true   hope u have a great time,2.0
8613,stressing out and worrying wayyyy too much ,2.0
8614,wow so apparently someone just killed themself by jumping off the top floor of the garage across from the hotel so horrible ,2.0
8615, work till  tomorrow i set tuesday aside to do some promopr stuff im falling behind on but youre welcome to stop by ,0.0
8616,had an ok night last nightfinally got internet n cable lol im excitednow off to the gym ,0.0
8617,rt merellefornoles yes everyday kami magkasama and were so happy together nawawala ang lungkot nawawala pagod etc pero everyday din,0.0
8618,oceanuptwitt its only for the us country i guess ,2.0
8619,hi friends i got stabbed in my right ass cheek last night but im okjust booty juice on the pillowthats it ,0.0
8620,whitneyfleming whentoyzattack there are a few differences but so far theyre fairly similar im enjoying both the books and series ,0.0
8621,omg their is a wasp in my house ,2.0
8622,wonders why she woke up so soon ,2.0
8623,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
8624,ps i am so regretting in this moment that i didnt go for the linkin park concert two years ago boooo ,2.0
8625,kristarella cant skim as much if you have to focus for  pixels across the blasted screen  ,0.0
8626,just got back from the spectrum with john finally saw star trek ,0.0
8627,town work music   friends telleh   sleeeep  maybe a movie all in a days work,0.0
8628,iroktherunway im soooo yealous i wish they had a spot like that up here in nscottsdale so i can run to for lunchdinner esuper sad ,2.0
8629,morning tweeties  new from dragons kitchen i posted about my successful second attempt at making brioche  ,0.0
8630,threw discokeekee in the showerlooking flea free  ,0.0
8631,rt uhhnerve this is so sad alexa play pick up the phone ,2.0
8632,still raining ,2.0
8633,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
8634,yannabe had a session tonight it be like that ,2.0
8635,already i forgot you but your shadow always distrub me ,2.0
8636,series is  to  now  d howard is a real player he won lebron should just be his cheerleader he lost,0.0
8637,i have it so good but i hate life im  im in grad school but started a business in high school and made enough to buy a nice house the car of my dreams and travel to over a dozen countries during my summers i graduate in may and have a great job lined up but im over everything my parents are getting old i have friends but i get so bored doing normal shit i occasionally go out on the weekends and its fun but then i feel worse the next day i go to the gym i do the be healthy shit but i dont feel any better i hate everyone in my cohort and pretty much had a mental breakdown my first semester of so every time i step into class im reminded of that embarrassing experience what is the point of it all how do people have fun doing the same shit all the time talking about pointless things being introduced to people that they know theyll forget about in a few days my ex committed suicide a little over two years ago and im still not over it dont think i ever will get over it its only going to get worse from here too i have a shitty relationship with my parents due to religious reasons but im pretty convinced i wont be able to make it after they pass thats probably when ill call it quits lifes boringthanks for reading,3.0
8638,pkollar gazimoff we already got one up   ,2.0
8639,ppuddleduck honeybutternuts  i just woke up amp i missed all the tweets  had a horrible dreamanyway good morning,2.0
8640,cooking gurus and wannabes like me  how do you make quotkri kri peanutsquot one of my fave snack foods google yields no clues ,2.0
8641,so jeffreyadamswould you think less of me if you knew that i had no idea that you were jeff slick adams until about yesterday yeah ,0.0
8642, me right now ,0.0
8643, ill try but my laptop isnt working ,2.0
8644,i left my long term alcoholic abusive depressed best friend two days ago and i feel horrible i was his only friend and im feeling regretful am i making the right decision staying gone hello i am a  who has been friends for years with a  depressed alcoholic he is lovely when hes sober a hard worker and talks to me like im the loveliest woman hes ever met when drunk he turns into a raging verbally abusive hateful person hes been depressed for several years and throughout our friendship i have tried to get him help about a month ago i spoke with him after several attempts made throughout our friendship that he needs to see a doctor for his alcoholism and depression because its physically and emotionally draining me he told me he would go and did his doctor prescribed him antidepressants and he took them for about  weeks he had been sober  weeks before beginning his meds but quickly started drinking on them he claims they arent helping i tell him they take time to work the past few weeks hes been drinking almost nightly and when i talk to him he chews me out i asked him if he would visit the doctor again with me and i would even pay for the visit plus a psychiatrist appointment he angrily tells me no and that it wont help i got frustrated and told him i have to separate myself from our friendship and move on with my life because its making my mental health worse he proceeds to yell tell me to shut the fu up im a controlling bitch cun he hates me and doesnt care he then cries and minutes later tells me he does care he feels bad for what he said and he wants me in his life hes been diagnosed with bipolar depression and i know drinking this heavily on his meds is worsening his anger and depression i sent him a kind text after he threw his last abusive verbal  fit and told him i loved him and that i had to move on since hes refusing help and treating me this way i feel so sorry for his situation i was his only friend hes pushed away all his family i am devastated inside and feel angry too after years of making so many efforts to help him he has chewed me out many times being drunk not just only recently on his meds  what do i do do i check on him again soon leave him alone i feel so lost please please help me if you have any advice,3.0
8645, i get frustrated when shes like this these r the times i really hate her dad ,2.0
8646,how the fuck am i so ok with everything this is a question people have asked me when feeling sad for a weekish i told one person i have depression that spread a bunch and im known as the depressed kid now that doesnt change anything people still believe i dont exist and rarely talk to me i usually just tkll to them and than i realize  afterwards i was talking to no one i honestly dont even know the answer to this question how the fuck do i stay sane i dont even know i feel like im a ghost just cursed for the next  years,3.0
8647,just got my haircut yeah ,0.0
8648,miss  already ,2.0
8649,asking for help so i really dont know where else to say this ive rewrote this multiple times im sorry for pushing this onto all of you im a  year old male overweight but muscular i get picked on relentlessly because of my size ive been bullied ever since kindergarten i wouldnt call myself suicidal but the thoughts have crossed my mind i feel like im stuck ive been to counselors and im taking medicine but nothing seems to be working im always the person in my group of friends whos supposed to be the strong one im the rock that others lean on i just feel so horrible i just had memories flood my mind from when i was a younger kid of my babysitter abusing me its awful i couldnt move i feel like i let everyone down even when they tell me i dont they tell others that they hate me im paranoid i get over attached im lonely i feel like im alone if anyone has any help or advice please let me know i could use anything right about now,3.0
8650,by come out i meant unvieled heres the link  ,0.0
8651, goodly morning sweetie  is a beautiful day here so gonna workout then mow the lawn luvya n huggles,0.0
8652,wwwlauraelisacom    this is laura nowwwwwwww ,0.0
8653,i collapsed yesterday oo im really worried about my health something strange is happening ,2.0
8654,not feeling too well right now booo ,2.0
8655,going to school noww  guttedd  x,2.0
8656,spendin all day with jase man ,0.0
8657,rt almondkitten has  found a birthcontrol that doesnt completely fuck wid their mental health,1.0
8658,voodoostevie this coffee is really weak ,2.0
8659,i feel like i dont have control recently ive felt like i have no control over myself  ill be drowning in schoolwork but cant seem to make myself do it  sophmore  ill sit there and think about how shitty i am for not doing it but wont do it even when i remove all distractions social media is a big distractor i still cant get myself to do it ill literally just stare at the wall i wont be able to focus on it and it distresses me so so much to the point where i will do anything to feel like i have control over my brain right now i drink loads of coffee when i feel that way but thats because i dont have anything else ill get the strong urge to take adderall or just anything that will fix me it will distress me to the point where i feel as if am going crazy it will just give me the urge to self destruct because im so useless for not taking care of my responsibilities  it feels like i cant control anything and like my brain is rotting and oozing out my ears and my head is filled with fog im so desperate i want to be good at school my grades arent bad ended last semester with  bs one in an ap class but all my work is done extremely rushed i perform horribly on tests and literally just slide my way into mediocre grades  i used to be so smart and motivated and i dont know where it went please i need something anything to fix me i cant live like this i feel like i didnt describe it well but i just want to feel alive and useful i am a failure and i waste all my time but i cant fucking fix myself does anyone experience this i literally feel brain dead ,3.0
8660,rt  me stress over you yikes,2.0
8661,maybe when i wake up totally it will have been a dream or even a really bad nightmareill take either ,2.0
8662,has just gone through my entire wardrobe looking for the perfect summery outfiti love how i can finally do that ,0.0
8663,lifeofsubstance ok ill check in on you ,0.0
8664,shocked how many empty buisnesses over manor royal   on way to dads  how many plants that man has to water,2.0
8665,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
8666,i am making beef stew with guinness yeah ,0.0
8667,wrecklessfun i want tacos ,2.0
8668,found out today im diabetic life is not only not so good as before it freakin sucks ,2.0
8669,nothings wrong  buttt i just feel so sad for no reason ,1.0
8670,my poor monica site ,2.0
8671,excited for tomorrow now too  is gonna call me if she meets alexalltimelow ,0.0
8672,sunny sunny sunny same im in work ,2.0
8673,i cant live anymore everytime i wake up i deep like a total shit i dont feel any other emotions than anger and sadness i cant tell it to my best friends couse they would think like im crazy help me ,3.0
8674,darius rucker aka hootie rocks country   ,0.0
8675,black hole ive lived with depression for about  years and have gone back and forth between really suicidal to i just have to get through today and suck it up but i can feel myself backsliding into that black hole and im scared i wont come out of it again my little sister passed away a few months ago my relationship with my mom has kinda fallen apart because of that my exh is getting married soon to a girl half my age that i used to work with weve been divorced  years i have been seeing someone that i really like but hes about to leave for three weeks and then will get deployed shortly after for  months my  kids just left for their three uninterrupted weeks of summer with their dad my exh im starting work in august at a new place and i dont know anyone just a lot coming up and im trying to process it so its not overwhelming but at the same time its a lot and i feel myself getting panicky when i try to confront it i just feel like i have nothing to look forward to and its making me nervous because i dont want to end up that deep again its such a bad place sorry  i dont know the proper abbreviations for some of this stuff i made a new account so i could interact here without anyone knowing its me,3.0
8676,plattcollegesd just saw the new comercial it was awsome ,0.0
8677,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
8678,just launched my new photo website  wwwpaulmcneillcouk,0.0
8679,wandson   dont worry ,0.0
8680,how do people even function this got kinda long im sorry i just needed to vent because i have no one who will listeni excelled at life since i was young earning high grades and praise from first grade to high school then sometime during that last year of high school i started to lose my grip on a lot of my responsibilities i lost interest in my hobbies just thinking about going filled me with dread i felt empty i remember a moment where my english teacher said something and the entire class laughed and i pretended to laugh along too so i still seemed normal and then stressed for the rest of the class if i had laughed to loudly or for too long my band teacher pulled me aside one afternoon and saw that i was a wreck and told me to give myself some rest i managed to keep my grades up and graduated with honorsshit hit the fan when i went to university i couldnt focus or retain anything in taught in class i ended up getting awful marks and it sorta sent me in a downward spiral because ive never gotten bad marks before i had high expectations for myself as did everyone who knew me i felt like a failuresecond year at uni was worse i ended up dropping out because i couldnt leave the bed one night my boyfriend took me to the hospital because i thought i was going to end it all right then i ended up seeing a psychiatrist there and went on more effective meds and took the months away from school to focus on getting betterim sorta back at uni this year right now im only taking one course online on top of this i was rehired at my old job that i quit when i had dropped out of school as well i work a whole  hours a week wows a few months ago i brought home a puppy with the intention of training him to be my psychiatric service dog so that one day id be able to leave my house and travel independently again my life is considerably easier than it was before yet i still feel like its too much to handle it feels like i peaked in high school and now its all downhill work feels like too much school feels like too much ive isolated myself from my friends and family and i feel awful that my dog isnt getting the attention he needs because its so hard for me to get all my shit together i have some hobbies that help me get into a better mindspace but i dont have any time for them i feel like im going crazy i feel like im getting worse i feel like im never going to get anywhere i cant even do the bare minimumhow do people live regular lives without wanting to curl up in a ball and disappear on a regular basis,3.0
8681,rt theweirdworld as a child get whatever you want was awesome but as an adult it fills me with crippling anxiety and indecision,1.0
8682,i wish i hadnt dropped my iphone in the sink i want it back  especially as the new software came out yesterday,2.0
8683,drop it like its hotwell at least like bradie does rofl ,0.0
8684,ohsoretro thank you ,0.0
8685,conformityissue haha i should but i wont lol then i might miss something ,0.0
8686,mentally hurt i have issues that are hard for me to talk about so i keep it myself when i talk about those exact problems i feel exposed i find it hard to put my feelings in words most of i life i just havent wanted to be alive a lot of the time i feel hurt depressed angry so self conscious etc ive created a little mental world in my head that the only good happiness i get sometimes i just feel so low im underneath the world nobody notices me im easily forgotten im no one just a complete waist of time air life etc reality set in and my mind just feels like three or four people sometimes i feel so stressed hurt sad mad lost worthless powerless etc like who am i stopping by dying nobody itll probly be a relief to not worry about me so many questions i need answered and some answers are just bringing more and more questions just i had the help i need but in my situation i wont in my head all day because im not comfortable anywhere else im  just a person with actual reasons to walk this earth but soon ill be leaving just want to set to somethings up     ,3.0
8687,   just got up  the sun was out  mins ago and now its gone   wait  its not  by u is it,2.0
8688,im actually really missing dubaiits like separation anxiety or something i wanna go baaack ,2.0
8689,caseyy   i luv your beanie  but mine is reversible in two shades of pink    ,0.0
8690,i am a tired of your bs long story short the love of my life is dead ever since she died everyone tries to relate people say it will get better assholes try to relate by saying a friend of mine died and i miss them fucktards say give it another year and you wont even think of her pieces of shit say it might be your wedding day but lets find something to keep you busy do you mother fuckers honestly think your distractions are going to work,3.0
8691,after a weekend of using vimperator for firefox i can say its nice to work with too bad it fucks with existing firefox settings ,2.0
8692,heritagesoftail thanks  im a bit nervous for it though,0.0
8693,cant stop crying my fear of being alone has made me burst into hysteria  least twice a day during these fits i beg my gf to spend time to with me or hold me and it honestly just makes her mad i feel like she hates me and its exacerbating my fear of being alone and my fear is making her want to be further and further from me i feel like im in such a fog and have no one to turn to the only coping mechanisms i have are crying or self harm and now the scars are so bad my gf wont even look at me im afraid of going on antidepressants because i dont know who i am without my depression i just wish i had some sort of sedative to put me to sleep or to mellow out when i get like this i feel disgusting and worthless and am just praying that some sort of numbness will come soon ,3.0
8694,summertime ball soon yay ,0.0
8695,edwarddurham but the movie was too boring i tried to find threesome the movie online but i didnt find it ,2.0
8696,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
8697,is hotter then the sun  and not in the good way,2.0
8698,the crime car is going lejal ,2.0
8699,day dreaming  mph down dixie ,2.0
8700,cleaned my room all dame day  or what i for took in today ,0.0
8701,pusing    sakit perut  wew  lgkp pnderitaan gw ,2.0
8702,bad hair day ,2.0
8703,tanak mkn coz td dah picnic kt panggung wayang ,0.0
8704,im really not likin not havin twitter on my phone    cant wait til my new  comes so i can tweet whenever i want  ,2.0
8705,rory  gossip girl   ahhhhh,0.0
8706,went to mcdonalds homeless lady w shopping cart asked me for empty cansbottles i opened my trunk and gave her  dollars worth  ,0.0
8707,juneambrose why does it seem like you have the worst interns ever ,2.0
8708,yall really be sad yall dont have nobody to go home to drunk 😭😭😭😭 i be knocked tf out,2.0
8709,trying to paint but its not working ,2.0
8710,rt alexioni sending love and light to all those battling depression ❤,0.0
8711,feeling like dying but dont have phone service i dont have phone service so i cant call any hot lines i dont want to kill myself but im very distressed right now ,3.0
8712,sharikapraying for you and your son,0.0
8713,here we go again nintendo ,2.0
8714, too bad  luckily i have my selfmade cassiscoke thats good for your workflow  im busy with the branding right now ,2.0
8715,on my way  my sista house ,0.0
8716,is playing guitar hero with mislav norbertc agatkamazur marcinbunsch kiszal perfect evening ,0.0
8717,apparently is the go to person for finding oz off to follow the yellow brick roadhappy  ,0.0
8718,aw  are you going to school late ,2.0
8719,haha walking to the hairdressers was not a good idea for sore feet  now theyre stinging like a bitch ,2.0
8720,can you bewere you depressed for years without noticing i was thinking about when i was a teenageryoung adult and i never did anything rarely went out didnt have fun just wanted to stay home i had friends but i kinda didnt want to see them outside of school i was always active in sports but it was not a social thing for me even though it was mostly team sportsbut i wasnt miserable i think just not happy or having fun i think that i just didnt know that life could be betteradults thought that i was mature a good kid and smart but i think that i wasnt any of those things i just didnt get into trouble i listened and nobody noticed mehow come nobody me included noticed that this wasnt normal behaviour how come i was just invisible and the only praise i got was for the behaviour that was feeding the invisibilty why didnt i see a therapist until i was  and my issues had festered for so many years i was barely functioning idiot,3.0
8721,hallelujah ,1.0
8722,cant believe how much my feet hurt  for work got no money n have to  one day i dnt  bout that ,2.0
8723,doing some homework because its the last day of vacation  i dont want to go to school tomorrow ,2.0
8724,gracing her closet with all the newyork city shopping ,0.0
8725, hahaha im sorry  and okay i will ,2.0
8726,malidragon im not sayin but im just sayin  i do love the mohawkand i think he should pick a fun color for it,0.0
8727,so am i the only person who gets very high anxiety when listening to asmr videos,1.0
8728,ill eventually do it sorry if this is a mess im not good at expressing my emotions plus i hate talking about myself ive been clinically depressed for the past five years and ive only been medicated for four months i have been so sick of life for so long and ive never been able to really express it to anyone either none of my friends understand so i just end up feeling stupid if i talk to them about it im so tired of pretending im okay everything is so corrupt the school systems the work systems and the government n shit i dont want to graduate just to be in debt and then prepare for working the rest of my fucking life i think about my death everyday almost as if i fantasize it i dont want to feel anything or do anything everyone is better off without me i know i will eventually end my own life,3.0
8729,beckinelson aww  thank u,0.0
8730,history wasnt too bad  im just rubbish at french anyway ,0.0
8731,ofnoblebirth no ,2.0
8732,slept like a baby but not for long enough  soooo soreand physics is gonna kick my ass ,2.0
8733,youngfuego they just wanted a better life ,2.0
8734,why cant i sleep    ,2.0
8735,is compilin her portfolio and is getting ever so slightly bored of waiting i cant believe thers so many clouds ,2.0
8736,im not going to the summertime ball either damn birmingham too far ,2.0
8737,am at work bored ,2.0
8738,andreaonfod davidarchie im not getting davids tweets on my web or the phone since they did maintenance ,2.0
8739,my yahoo pipes date filter should be working ,2.0
8740,paigebradford i hope i didnt do anything wrong or bother you  ,2.0
8741,my life hello my name is pau im  years old and im from spain ive never had any problems relating to people although ive been shy when i was a child nobody ever wanted to be my friend nobody chose me to play football or to meet up and this is still true today no one ever wants to play a video game with me for example or when i ask someone or its i dont know or ill tell you they never tell me anything i feel so alone so lonely that i dont feel right about myself i have a beautiful girlfriend who always supports me and gives me advice i love her because of her im still alive today because what i have without her is not worth living for ive been suffering from depression since high school few people know about it my parents and my girlfriend my parents dont give a shit about my mother she cares about her not like my father i cry almost every day or every two to let it all out i can easily spend hours crying until my eyes hurt i dont have a group of friends i barely leave the house and only stay with my girlfriend because as i mentioned before i dont have a group of friends so i never go out i have to join other groups that have nothing to do with me in order to go out with someone else i dont know why i was born my mother didnt even want a childi dont feel anything only pain a pain that i feel cannot be cured im a shit and i guess i was born to be one,3.0
8742,i have been having stressinduced delusions of past sexual abuse in which i can feel my abusers surrounding me i just wrote a suicide note and took out my stash of alcohol including my just for dying vodka and soon im going to start taking valium and i just want to thank you all as a community i have no hope left i see a psychologist twice a week equivalent of  every time five psychiatric inpatient stays each one worse than the last i just dont care anymore i want to die tonight thank you to the community of rdepression folk i wish you all the best you can do it i believe in you,3.0
8743,vote your opinion on susan boyle    httptinyurlcomsusanboylepoll,0.0
8744,rosejanice probably a few weeks ,2.0
8745,im not the one too busy playing gaylo  i heart you,0.0
8746,lame why am i so fucking lame i want to be invited to parties and shit but not many people like me i want to be part of the punk scene and shit but i never get invited to house parties i want to start a band but dont know anyone who would join i want to be liked but i dont know whats wrong with me and i wish someone would tell me,3.0
8747,wahahaha soooooo funny  but joans bros youtube is suspendedomg soo how i live without interner mobile jonas coffe twitter omg help,0.0
8748,passing thoughts of suicide i want to preface this by saying i am not suicidal i would never go that fari do have passing thoughts of suicide often if im feeling bad about myself the thought of i dont want to be alive or i would be better off dead comes into my head theyre intrusive thoughts i wont act on them but they really get me down because i know i shouldnt be thinking them does this happen to anyone else does anyone else have uncontrolled thoughts like this but dont want to act on them how can i make these intrusive thoughts stop,3.0
8749,myslead im pretty sure im going to have to take the bus home ,2.0
8750,counselor compares me to other patients ive been seeing him for a year you dont have it that bad man you should hear the stuff my other patients tell me you would be a lot more screwed up hes said a lot of things around that phrased differently each time i spoke to him after my husband heavily convinced to be honest with him and he apologized and said he didnt realize how bad it was and he never did it again so why am i writing this because i still feel like im making a mistake in seeing him he still talks about being deeply scarred about what he heard from his other patients talk about i feel numb one of my biggest flaws is being prideful and comparing myself to others situations as it is i know im ungrateful for the great things i do have in my life so i just feel like im not even justified in seeing a therapist since others have it worse but i know thats not trueeven if i want to stop seeing him i cant afford anyone else im jobless and he lets me see him for free so is it better to just not see anyonei noticed that when i talk to him i naturally find myself pretending to be happier and optimistic than i actually am and i feel myself resenting the idea of telling him how fucked up i actually am since he has this optimal image of who i am in his head im too foggy in the head and tired to think straight maybe its my fault for pretending to be happy but i really wish i had someone who could see through the bullshit and look a little deeper,3.0
8751,tommcfly international touring no wayyyy   xx,2.0
8752,sydeney hi ,0.0
8753,i skipped a class period because im having a breakdownpanic attack and idk why the more i passed by classes as i walking towards the bathroom the more i was breathing hardonce i got to the bathroom i looked in the mirror and i noticed my eyes were tired and i had red spots under themwhat the hell is wrong with meim so scared that ill get caught slipping a class period but i just need space because this weeks been so stressful and now u can see how tired i am,3.0
8754, aw  you arent worthless to me,2.0
8755,cant wait to see the new twilight movei quotnew moonquotsaw the trailer looks freakin awesome ,0.0
8756, and chatting with a fellow insomniac on facebook ,0.0
8757,lronjaii none of my stoooopid friends would come with me its about a  minute drive to central ,2.0
8758,is this even real i dont know man sometimes i just think that what i have isnt anything even remotely close to depression sometimes it just feels like im being an attention whore even though i dont really tell anyone except for this  person that i trust does anyone else live in this denial that you dont even deserve to be depressed that youre just being too whiny,3.0
8759,quantick  i loved swells rip x,2.0
8760,bupropion and anxiety so long story short im a long time user of bupropion recently i moved and have already used the ive moved please refill my meds excuse so now i need a doctor and its just a lot finding one so i weaned myself off ha ha good going me the thing is my depression did set in and i became a super butthole but my anxiety decreased i took one pill because i realized i was crying without reason for me thats part of my depression legit that same day my gut gets the impending doom feeling and everything goes bezerk im crying im convinced my boyfriend doesnt want to be with me my guts continually telling me untrue things and i know in part of me that this isnt me but felt insane so i didnt take anything for three days yesterday i was at work and had this head dropping away from my body feeling and was wondering if it was from not taking my pill again this morning i realized i need to be back on and regulate ive known this that day just really freaked me out but im scared of the anxiety that happened a couple days ago though i feel more grounded knowing that i can tell myself its all okay and my brain is readjusting any similar results from you guys thoughts anyone like bupropion but switch to something else that worked and didnt cause anxiety i love everything about it except the increased worry which is why i have yet to ask to change,3.0
8761,biruionut las time i tried it didnt allow me but thanks ill try again ,0.0
8762,is stoked what a trigger happy weekend indeed ,0.0
8763,gunna get  today nikka  or perhaps a starwars gamehmmm to buy or not to buy that is the question,0.0
8764,sky harbor airport waiting for us to board   hour more ugh,0.0
8765,i burnt my tounge with hot chocolate yesterday  i bet your wondering what i was doing drinking a hot drink in this frekin weather,2.0
8766,alright im registered in  tables lets go ,0.0
8767,johnefstathiou are you feeling more positive today then not completely heartbroken ,0.0
8768,i feel shafted smilelaughitsme hasnt given me her new number ,2.0
8769,rt normanisnugget when depression takes over and you push people away bc you feel like you dont deserve them hurts like hell,1.0
8770,wow  and the sun is already coming up wish i was on a beach somewhere so i could watch it ,2.0
8771,suzivoss sorry to see you go ,2.0
8772,youd think when i finally end school id be able to catch up on sleep i havent been able to sleep in  wah,2.0
8773,ive bought me just a  long lancable and my pc doesnt accept it but the pc from my brother accept it ,2.0
8774,steevy i know my phone has it all set up just seeing who has it ,0.0
8775,feeling stuck in life im about to graduate college stuck in a job where i get no vacation daysdays off none of my skills are being utilized i literally am just here to close up at the end of the night and hopefully get a good recommendation if i ever hear back from places ive been applying to im anxious because i know my boss would be pissed if i leave she only staffs  people at a time but i am miserable i get to watch my little sisters making bank and traveling the world while i barely survive on  an hour and cant even take a sick day i am an artist and am starting to doubt all my abilities to make it as a designer or illustrator because i feel so stuck i am struggling hard to find anything else other than this and feel so discouraged i have panic attacks and cant take time to treat them because i cant take a day off i feel like im becoming a vegetable my current boss is a control freak and has made me doubt all my abilities and reduced my self confidence to none to the point i dont even know that i am capable of anything i feel so depressed and have gained  because i only find happiness in eating,3.0
8776,everyone haha why are you crying its just driving everyone does itme have you ever heard of crippling anxiety,1.0
8777,things are looking good with atkins so far wish me luck to stick to it and   i pray for all iranians over in iran i wish i was there ,2.0
8778,didnt have time to go to the pool today ,2.0
8779,wonder where my canadian cutie pie kmoodie is ,2.0
8780,cant sleep anxiety at max need to vent be okay again and begin the process anew i often feel like going to sleep and hoping i dont wake up i cant get out of my head so i sometimes dont sleep when i do i wanna stay in that place i dont wanna come back to this im my own worst enemy i hold myself back and i let me my family and friends want to help me but they cant that makes it even worse only i can do this but i wont let me i cry for help and everyone responds because they care but they cant help and it makes them feel as bad as me i look at myself in the mirror and while i like my face i hate the rest of me i hate myself i also dont i dont associate with all of my being gonna start going to the gym with my bro starting february i have absolutely no desire to do so but i have to or else nothing will change im going to fight him and myself every step of the way but he knows this and will be there to kick my ass back up when i bring myself down when i fall into my stupor of being out of my comfort zone hell snap me out of it tell me im okay and help me get through it im not worried about him putting his all into helping me or thinking hell give up on me im worried that the harder we push to get me out of my comfort zone out of this unhealthy diet and body and into a healthier one ill fight us even harder to stay down in the dirt either everything sucks or just me but im not going anywhere im here to stay whether i like it or not im comfortable disliking myself its safe i cant interact with women without giving off a vibe of selfconsciousness or saying or doing something weird because of my adasd im afraid that ifwhen my body becomes healthier i wont feel any better about myself because even if i look better on the outside i still wont have much of a personality outside of video games anime and costumed hero shows thats probably why im still here those media outlets always have a light at the end of the tunnel keep fighting everything will be okay youll get physical and mental scars youll lose loved ones but youre gonna be okay but i dont feel like i will i think ive said everything on my mind if i keep going i think ill just loop if you read all of this thank you,3.0
8781,paulabbey oh so you do still facebook ,2.0
8782, rich was like whatwhere in cacoudnt they live in az with doz babies wed takeum wez a good house ,0.0
8783,armano damn too much work to do right now  please record it for later review,2.0
8784,got my boots amp flats but are too big  darn it i was so excited,2.0
8785,i feel like my pdoc is presbribing me things just for kickbacks heres a little background on my situation ive been on and off different meds for depression and anxiety since high school through high school and most of college i was on ssris i think just paxil and lexapro when i graduated and moved i stopped taking them and went a while with no meds my depressionanxiety came back after a while and i found a psychiatrist my insurance accepted this doctor had me get a dna test which showed her which meds might work better for me than others pristiq was one of the only ones in the green column so i ended up taking that which worked well for me i was on it for around  years when it felt like it just stopped working so i ended up going med free again to just test the waters and see if how i would do with just therapy   it didnt end up working so i went to another psychiatrist closer to my house she was very nice and asked what i had taken before and i told her everything i mentioned above she decided to put me on a  sample of trintellix a newer drug that works different from ssris and snris  didnt do anything other than make me nauseous so she bumped me up to  still nothing up to  nothing went to  and started getting stomach issues and sexual side effects but no changes in depression or anxiety her response to that was to drop me down to  and add in rexulti and she said if that didnt work wed try vibryyd another newer name branch drug   my insurance only partially covers trintellix rexulti and vibryyd so id still be paying over a hundred dollars i told her this i took meds in the past that worked for me at the time i told her this yet she continually insists on me trying this name brand drug i cant afford just to see if it works she doesnt want to put me on an ssri because if you stopped taking them then they must not have been working the thing that really got me was when she said they were low on trintellix samples and pulled out her phone to personally text the rep who she referred to by name to bring more that combined with her insistence on me trying an expensive drug that does not work for me makes me think she is getting kickbacks from these companies has anyone ever run into anything like this before should i ask for a different provider or just find a different place to go entirely thinking about talking to my primary care doc,3.0
8786,im the least interesting person i know i hate talking i hate it whenever i say something someone either tells me how stupid it was for me to say that or just talk over me and everyone else ignore me i hate other humans they suck sometimes i want to express my thoughts but because of how uncharismatic i am i never can  i hate my life every day is worse than the last it seems like nobody cares about me  has started horribly,3.0
8787,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
8788,poor me  my contacts dissapeared,2.0
8789,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay httpstcoaxywonaaje,1.0
8790,heidimontag heidi it was awesome talking to you today  i forgot to give you my twitter name this is natalie btw haha follow me,0.0
8791,says be back later  bye girlkiss ,0.0
8792,fashionandsex get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
8793, i noe makes me feel like im a sucky fan for not buying them sooner lol ,2.0
8794,going back to kuala lumpur shortly high way sure very jam ,2.0
8795,home after a nice evening with a new client too bad i cant find a parking spaceout in my car ,2.0
8796,not entirely depression related but help this isnt entirely depression related but i guess it kinda is so my best friend has anxiety and depression and he is struggling to sleep it has been a while since hes gotten good sleep and hes tried a lot of stuff to help deep breathing relaxation techniques music etc i know that his anxieties are what is keeping him awake hes told me that but he doesnt go to therapy or receive treatment so i think its a little more difficult for him to work through these things in his life i know a bit about psychology but im no expert and i dont know what else to advise him to do what have you guys done to help alleviate anxietydepression when its keeping you awake what good methods do you have to fall asleep ,3.0
8797,i want an ice cream but there isnt any ,2.0
8798,dancing around my room to hey monday sorta cleaning more dancing ,0.0
8799,jordanyup lmaoo awww  its okkkay love that sonng,2.0
8800, i freaking love thehint and all songs of them ,2.0
8801,is gonna go home today  im not ready to go back to stupid del rio,2.0
8802,bitchboobye to these undercover dudes n atl  atleast letta chick knoww,0.0
8803,falling asleep good night ,0.0
8804,i dont want to be happy and i dont know why im  and have a good social life and everything but i just hate waking up and as of late i dont want to feel anything everytime someone talks to me i just want the conversation to end immediately im seriously considering just not showing up to my job which is owned by my family and just not saying anything im just so tired of this boring ass day i live every day,3.0
8805,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,2.0
8806,right gillian tomorrow you start the first day of your new life new healthy life put loads of weight on just fit into my bike trousers ,2.0
8807,im so tired of trying different meds hi yall i just need to rant here for a minute not asking for medical advice as ive got a psychiatrist and gp for that i just got done taking fluoxetine prozac for the past  months which was hard the side effects sucked and i went through them all over again any time my dose was increased i knew that the unbearable side effects would go away with time so i stuck it out only to find that it isnt for me im also on a small dose of bupropion wellbutrin was recently prescribed abilify and am now adding in venlafaxine effexor while i taper off prozac ive tried multiple ssris in the past like sertraline zoloft and citalopram celexa which either didnt work or pooped out on me im going on eight years of dealing with depression and anxiety and now that im on day  of venlafaxine and have a throbbing headache im so frustrated im sick of going through the shitty side effects and having panic attacks and feeling like im going to throw up or pass out from fatigue every time i start a new med ive been doing cbt and have been trying to put the work into dealing with my mental health issues besides just taking meds it feels so unfair i wish i could just be put in a medically induced coma while they pump me with different medications until they find something that actually works for me fuckany words of encouragement would be nice and if youve had experience with meds especially venlafaxine that were positive it would be really good to hear about it,3.0
8808,i finally got out of bednow to get ready for school  god im so tired,2.0
8809,i coulda swore it was halfway charged last night i guess it was playing in my pocket this morning ,2.0
8810,dougiemcfly hope so but brazil is incomparable ,0.0
8811,the homeicecream man doesnt go down my street aaawww ,2.0
8812,chris daughtryall these lives  his voice iss so relaxing ,0.0
8813,can anyone please recommend an online therapy that guarantees a licensed therapist from their state ive solicited several services for an answer and keep getting wishywashy answers the very max i can hope to afford is ,3.0
8814,hi jkrowling how are you where is the title of fantastic beasts  do not kill us with anxietye ae vamo divulvar 🇧🇷,2.0
8815,rt fauldsca see the clear reduction in referral to psychiatry with addition of fht resources for mental health hqontario ,0.0
8816,i think i should finally get a therapist i just dont know how to ask my parents dad just doesnt understand mental illness and mom doesnt understand how to keep things between people  we also really just cant afford it because my little sister is sucking us dry with her dance group at school  what should i do,3.0
8817,i am hoping for a productive day today ,0.0
8818,rt cheysways or who they said they were ,2.0
8819,amen  i totally agree if you want to raise a little cane how about  golfing every weekend at his resorts y httpstcoxdzpmbzzcw,0.0
8820,i dont want to do anything i dont want to go to school or get out from house or get up from bed because im scared idk what am i scared of im just scared i feel like i can collapse at any moment and never come back from this i just want stay in bed and wait for someone who love to come and lay next to me i wanna be loved i want to be able live like a normal human being ,3.0
8821,frak now i feel guilty for not going to hang with my dad sooner he dont need to ream me out i can do a stellar job of doing it myself ,2.0
8822,buy antidepressants online fast delivery and hight quality pills online wp ,3.0
8823,crispynoodles plus i just deposited tax return cheque but for first time in  years it didnt clear immediately ,2.0
8824,so tired even coffee is not working this morning ,2.0
8825,such a rainy day in so florida ,2.0
8826,besoooo with my loves  its gonna be a good nightttt,0.0
8827,starbucksqueen im sorry ,2.0
8828,i feel depressed and losing touch with myself help i am  ive been suffering from blushing for  years now its only getting worse day by daya year and half ago  grade i noticed that my shyness had become way worse i blushed at everything and this was eating me up every day then i googled my symptoms and found this thing called social anxiety it was like reading a book about me every symptom matched so i selfdiagnosed myself with social anxiety nowadays the anxiety has gotten way worse i cant even go to the supermarket alone i blush more easily luckily i have  friends pathetic right they make me laugh every day but we arent that close really i cant talk to them about personal things i did mention my social anxiety to them but they just looked at each other and no one said a thing so yeah i dont really have anyone to talk to im always angry and dont even know why i used to be a mamas girl but now we fight every day and barely get along this is also very hard for me because its my fault but i cant stop being mad at her my parents divorced and ive been living with my mom my dad makes our life hard intentionally i feel sad every time he calls my mom has been dating a married man for a while now im not a fan of their love triangle and mom invites the man over every other day to our house i stay in my room for the whole time lately life has gone downhill i  feel sad and angry and this makes me wonder if i am depressed ive been crying every day for the past week yesterday i thought about suicide its not something i want or actually plan to do but ive been thinking about it everytime the thought crosses me i feel scared and try to go to sleep im not going to kill myself i dont wanna wait to be happy and wait to be able to live without anxiety i want to live a good life now but i cant what should i do i dont want to go any lower so please help me,3.0
8829,i want my family to die i feel so bad for thisespecially when i think about my little brother but i cant help it i want to kill myself but i dont want anybody to be sad i dont want to live with the constant knowledge that i never managed to tell my parents about almost two years of sexual abuse i dont ever want them to know how much they hurt me when they ignored me every time i asked for help how they ignored me when i told them about my panic attacks and about my whole body shaking of feari want my family to die and i hate it,3.0
8830,i dont believe i just did that i fell asleep and missed the rugby completely  oh well at least we won,2.0
8831,would i possibly still be considered depressed even though i know why i have bad days all the time ive always seen that depression is like youre sad tired apathetic etc all the time for no obvious reason like the thing that separates depression from just being sad is that if youre sad youre sad because something bad happened but being depressed youre just numb for no better reason than the chemicals in your brain going haywire i tick a lot of the boxes but im not sure if i could really benefit from seeking help for this kind of thing or if i just need to tough it out in short i hate my life and have for a long time now though its gotten worse but due to current circumstances i dont have any way to get out of my situation or greatly improve any of the things that make me want to run away is it possible that i could be depressed due to my life can depression have a cause im worried that im just pretending to be sad so i dont even really know if what im feeling is genuine or not on any questionnaires or whatever thats like how many days in the last week have you felt tireddownetc i never know how to answer because im not sure if what i feel qualifieseven if i am actually depressed or could be i dont know what would help because again its like existence itself is pointless with my current lifestyle any routes to take with this i dont know how medication could help but maybe its worth a shot if im even actually depressed idk ,3.0
8832,wowwhat a great uncharted  demo ,0.0
8833,greenskull i actually did draw you because i wanted to do a guest comic for rule but i never finished it ,2.0
8834,what is this silly rumour i hear of nkotb maybe cancelling their australia concerts it better be only a rumour ,2.0
8835,notsolain awww thank you ,0.0
8836,i dont wanna die i just kinda wish i could delete my entire existence i want to never have existed in the first place ya feel im officially  as of like  minutes ago and life has been a total waste of time,3.0
8837,philipwang your shorts are waaay better though ,0.0
8838,distortionrock that reminded me of our first lost marathon lol ,0.0
8839,wow here is now  pm so i must wait a whole night to see the mtv awards ,2.0
8840,just had a horrible customer experience with dell  stubborn bureucratic and completely lacking in customer focus avoid at all cost ,2.0
8841,hanging at the house of esburrito and zachesposito ,0.0
8842,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
8843,my cats are lifesavers my mother told me a few weeks ago she wishes i was never born my boyfriend told me that he has time for me after this quest  ago and work is just draining palliative care nurse and my kid is away for the week school triphonestly if i didnt have my cats i would have ended it already furballs are keeping me safe yes i am on meds in therapy and reducing work hours from october on maybe ill lose my house because i cant keep up with payments but that is an afterthought right now sorry i just needed to vent a bit and remind myself that at least the cats still love me quite sure kid does too but i really need cuddles at the moment,3.0
8844,blowing bubbles and picking berries i feel like a kid again  grahamblackall i love cream cheese icing,0.0
8845,i genuinely cant see myself in the future im not an adult yet but ive got three years to go and i dont know what ill do i actually cant see myself being a successful adult the only thing i can see happening is me committing suicide to escape it i dont know how to cope i know its so far away and i know i wont have to worry about it for a while but i just cant stop thinking about it id rather die than turn eighteen does anyone else feel this way,3.0
8846,oh my gosh just recieved a phone call and i have a  interview today im so happy ,0.0
8847,my tweeters are boring me when ,2.0
8848,had a great day todaybreakfast date with my son connorvolunteered at a charityplayed with the kidsand did reading at borders w java ,0.0
8849,graciealbernaz hey i forgot some of the shirt sayings oh snap whats a girl to do and i have to buy a new printer too  i already have ,2.0
8850,  i miss you ,2.0
8851, omg thos is my third day one ,2.0
8852,i still cant believe it ,2.0
8853,finals are annoying wishes she wasnt alone ,2.0
8854,annoyed at how long it takes to get a dart search dfa report even when using the defer function i only get it at the end of the day ,2.0
8855,just finished washing a big pile of dirty laundry gotta pack for the trip to langkawi later and my is body is aching ,2.0
8856,sleep time  i neglected to tweet for so long i fail   had an amazing night amp some delicious dinner to celebrate an amazing year ,0.0
8857,italysking  why do you have to leave you better be back in august,2.0
8858,sore throat  would love a bowl of grandmas matzo bowl soup right now,2.0
8859,rt sciam opinion its time to recognize mental health as essential to physical health  via ,0.0
8860,creatures of the night new  project blog post httpisgdtbqy are you digging the  project tell your friends pls rt ,0.0
8861,goodnight everyone  i hope tomorrow will be a better day x,0.0
8862,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
8863,i think i have a problem my dad gave me a document about a year ago that gives you    thousand euros if he brings it to the bank he gave it to me because he think that he would lose it or would get stolen as his house is undergoing construction with some workers living thereyesterday i was meant to bring it to him because he decided that he doesnt want me to visitinterract with him anymore he basically wants us to forget each other and live alone i couldnt find it after that i promised to him that i would find it and decided that i will kill myself if i dont after  hours of searching i still have no idea where it is,3.0
8864,i have such bad anxiety,2.0
8865,wordcreates how lovely i try and have a merry heart all the time but my body is weary sometimes and thus the flu ,2.0
8866,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
8867,williamlegate amp the sad thing is that can cloudseed but arent willing to spend the  likely bc its california  the biggest bluestate,1.0
8868,newbiedm you mean i cant play ,2.0
8869,hhaaaaattttteeee anxiety,2.0
8870,preventing and treating depression in longterm space missions is a key challenge to overcome ,2.0
8871,my  yo self would be so disappointed with me currently  yo and am a complete failure  years ago i was your typical high school nerd i was at the top of my class and always kept to myself aka  friends that all took a turn when the bullying started in senior year there was a group of popular guys that would yell words like nerd loser and loner every single day as i walked to school from their fancy mercedes sports cars it eventually got to the point where i used to avoid waking up for school because i was so scared to run into them again i remember i had even gone to my vice principal literally crying to her about the issue and all she did was tell me to toughen up i thought if the vp doesnt care then whats the point constantly being late for school alongside have no friends and no support system obviously took a toll on my grades and i went from being one of the smartest to barely getting in to a university i had to settle for a field of study — accounting — that i had never even taken in high school because it was the only decent thing i qualified for didnt get into my dream engineering schools and because i couldnt bare being in high school any longer naturally as i had no accounting experience my grades plummeted substantially come university however i was fortunate to make many friendships with meaningful people my mindset sort of became that of school not being my  priority instead i valued friendships and keeping a pressurefree mind as i had really struggled with that in high school compared to  yo me my head is definitely in a more clear space despite the lack of good grades however as of recent ive begun to stress again for my future as i approach my final year of my accounting degree i feel as though ive spent the last  years moreso on getting my life back in order after the trauma i suffered from all the bullying back then i have no idea if ill even get a job currently completing a year long coop term sorry for the long vent but today has just been one of those days where i look at my life and wonder why it went so damn wrong for me im just really unsure about what the future holds thank you if you read this,3.0
8872,twistedthursday she does ,0.0
8873,i know this pretty rave girl rave tonighttt ,0.0
8874,tomashastings more os fun  muddling thru so i can get my pics up today tho,2.0
8875,no one wished me o had been looking forward to my  birthday todayits the end of the day now only my immediate family wished me no one else did everyone forgot me i dont wanna live like this,3.0
8876,day of cleaning  i always pick up my familys garbage,2.0
8877,rt girlposts stressing over problems that dont exist why i hate u anxiety,2.0
8878,mileycyrus good luck for tonight ,0.0
8879,ohayo   surprised i woke up without my alarm on just  sleep  awesome since id forgotten to set it car gets cleaned   yay ,0.0
8880,showbandgeek very thanks you much ,0.0
8881,rt geoffmiami the simple sad fact is that dwstweets is making it harder for americans to get healthcare by refusing to cosponsor ,1.0
8882,i miss my pumpkin man ,2.0
8883,watching british  gp livefound polish and chinese live video feedsi could have done with eng or japnese thats what u get for free ,2.0
8884,wwwroomlinkercom cherche chambre individuel dans colocation sympa     paris  me contacter jf  ans sympa ,0.0
8885,mitchelmusso is the album getting a uk release if not ill have to order it and pay a huge amount to get it shipped to the uk ,2.0
8886,just recorded some heavy guitar work ,0.0
8887,rt calerbahfyc have you heard anxiety by calerbahfyc on soundcloud np ,1.0
8888,adeejayday ooh you ardy music in me gt  gtlt imy ,2.0
8889,yaldasharif i cant go tomorrow and was really upset  im totally getting the foot thing that was in the uk email,2.0
8890,dannymcfly you rocked at leicester last night  i had to move to the back tho cuz i felt ill  your lil dance is promise is class  xx,2.0
8891,loudossantos does asking for free accomodation via twitter usually work for you ,0.0
8892,matthewmoloney brat lol going back to bed now later kiddo ,0.0
8893,alone and tired everything is going to shit my family uni and i cannot even cry because my bf calls me weak and annoying is there something for me out there whats the point of staying here alone i am so lonely all i needed was a hug and some closure i got various passive aggressive comments and some screaming i am no one priority that is such a hard pillow to swallow i thought that at least the man who swore loved me above anyone else was here for me but i am alone and tired of trying,3.0
8894,bad movies i actually realise that watching bad movies kinda helps as a distractionit sounds stupid but it helps as a long wtf moment,3.0
8895,kisabelq wat up kathy hows your day goin ,0.0
8896,greekgrits putting all party pics up now on fb ,0.0
8897,khqrightnow i heard them making announcements trying to find them the mother looked so worried ,2.0
8898,im  hearing people say these are the best years of your life really hits me hard everyone i hear it if these are the best years of my life then life is fucking horrible,3.0
8899,well my spin was great and not a caravan in sight ,0.0
8900,off topic missed both motorcades the secret service tricked us all  bush clinton,2.0
8901,is anyone else sick of trying so hard to feel like you belong and just failing ive been at this new job for  months now and i have really tried to put myself out there and talk to my coworkers im so nice to everyone and i just want to make a darn work friend i feel like nobody there even cares that i exist these two girls in particular are always talking quietly to each other when im standing right next to them all dayit just makes me feel invisiblei just dont understand why i cant be part of their conversation does anybody have any suggestions or advice,3.0
8902,  can you pray for me i am having anxiety right nowwhat are good bible verse to read for peace and anxiety,1.0
8903,my depression is back and i dont know if it will ever go away hey everyone first time posting on hereive been heavily depressed for months now i cant participate in anything that i loved to do anymore im losing my friends and ive become a wreckim  male almost out of high school i dated this one girl for  years basically we grew up together well call her amy she was my entire world and i loved her with everything i had recently i found out amy was cheating on me i confronted her and she told me she doesnt love me anymore like what the fuck am i supposed to do in that situation ive spent so much time with someone to find out that they dont love me it felt like i lost a family member or a spouse  this is what kind of started it allever since then ive kept to myself im a very social person and i like to talk to people but now im quiet and its like im pushing everyone away i dont mean to do it but i get so depressed whenever i am reminded that nobody loves me and i am lonely i find it extremely hard to talk about my feelings usually people have to force it out of me im even shuttering writing this a prompt to complete strangersive been talking to this one girl for a little bit well call her zoey i opened up to her about how ive felt and besides amy she is the only person that knows about my depression and self harm i found it very hard to talk about because i was so scared she would find me weird or undesirableplease stop talking to mei feel so alone right now i dont have a single person that i can talk to about sensitive stuff like that i still have friends but i dont want them thinking of me as that sad guy another thing about friends i love them to death im never lonely when im with them but i still feel slightly sad im graduating this year which means i dont know if ill ever see them again maybe once in a while but i know that ill eventually fade out from existence i just want someone to love me im not the most handsome guy for sure but all i want is someone to share my life with when i was with amy i was the happiest ive ever been in my life right now i am so lonely almost all of the time even when im in a room full of people i cant help but think that not a single person in the room loves me not even romantic stuff but just like brotherly love or the way you love a family memberpetwhen i go to school i cant wait to see zoey and then remember that she doesnt want to see me i want to see my friends but i know that i am to them a troubled unstable person ive started cutting myself again i havent done it since i was maybe  or  i attack my upper arms and legs with razors and knives sometimes at work ill splash some hot oil on myself not enough to cause serious damage but just enough so that i can feel it when i told amy about my cuts she would always comfort me shed kiss them now i cant tell anybody with the fear that i have i have so much stress built up in me right now my job is very stressful  hours each week with almost minimum wage pay and awful work that i have to do were so understaffed that they overload me with work i dont like most of my coworkers ive never had so much stress in my life will i be able to pay my car insurance can i afford gas will i ever move out how am i going to pay for college i know i should find a better job but im so shyi stopped eating today is day  without food whenever i eat i feel fat i know this isnt helping my mood but i hate looking the way i doi dont know how much longer i can do this i wish i was saying that with even a little bit of hope im in such constant pain i want to die but i dont want to kill myself because i love my friends and family and i dont want to hurt the people i love i wish i could just disappear without anyone knowing or caring,3.0
8904,the debate on suicide being a victimless crime still a thing,2.0
8905,network still hasnt switched over so im still using my old ph  but i had a rad day in auckland,2.0
8906,me amp honeybunsxo ,1.0
8907,just got off i had such a good day at work other than this headache ,0.0
8908,iampritty good morning beautiful one ,0.0
8909,naive fools living in the sad baby era of  oh my god this republican candidate likes bigfoot eroticame l ,1.0
8910,llamachloe believe me i am trying lol there is only so much orange juice a person can consume in one day ,0.0
8911,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
8912,petermday get a life already jerkass ,0.0
8913, stitches in my knee ,2.0
8914,arielsmiles oh graduation ceremoniesthose can get so boringhahaespecially when youre outside in the hot sun getting sunburned ,0.0
8915,thatsunnygirl thats the best cd ever erin mccarley is amazing ive been listening to her all spring shes glorious  miss you,0.0
8916,mandyyjirouxx ok mabye thats why it wasnt working about  min ago sorry ,0.0
8917, yeah ,0.0
8918,im taking a trip im originally from california state but now i live across the country in maryland ive been here for about a decade now i finally am going to see my sick grandpa whos had two strokes and survived ive carried a lot of guilt for not visiting him sooner i feel like taking this trip would be me making amends for my mistakes well some of them i also have plenty of family there that i havent seen in years i feel like im not only going there to say goodbye to my grandfather but im going there to say goodbye to everyone i cant get this thought out of my head that when i get back i have a plan i cant shake that feeling usually when i have thoughts of hurting myself i can shake the feeling at least within a day ive had this feeling a strong one for over a week now and i really dont want help,3.0
8919,just finished my sixth may ball of the week only one more barber gig before october ,2.0
8920, pinsandneedles ,2.0
8921,i am so tired and i have to wake up too early on the morning ,2.0
8922,  cant live without by best friend i miss you yow  mwuahh,0.0
8923,if you do the enneagram  profiling test could you let me know what type you are ,0.0
8924,visualinventor hes a very cute boy i love how you both look on your avatar picture ,0.0
8925,its  in the morning so idgaf what i say the ke fandom has really become a click and that is sad but  it ,1.0
8926,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
8927,anyone else having difficulties with the translation on europarltv english doesnt work anymore for me   ,2.0
8928,ginevragirl  well you can join me on the unemployment line idk what im gonna do,2.0
8929,my work got broken into again on thurs night ,2.0
8930,i have the worst luck ever ,2.0
8931,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
8932,rt lightskinhenz depression sneaking back into my life ,0.0
8933,making sure i have enough pzizz audio files customized  different setups  on my iphone in case i need them in the future ,0.0
8934,hitrecordjoe ohand loved quotbrickquot man that flick was sensational ,0.0
8935,there is nothing to look forward to in life im going to a great university i worked hard and saved lots of money i look great not anymore i have a car its a nice campus and i still feel like i want to die i sound like a pathetic spoiled brat i knowwhy do i have to major in computer science am i really just an annoying copy of the eldest son of the family i just feel like a shell of an identity with how much of a copycat i ammy mom bear in mind she never went to school her job is cooking implies im a failure if i dont major in computer science and lose like ten pounds lol also shes obese i just love it when a parent treats you like a little copy or trophy to achieve in life what they didnt even worse when the mom acts like a drill sergeant towards her daughter while she treats her eldest son like a little precious angel to baby her and i are separated by the thickest brick wall in the worldalso i have no friends lol because im toxic and people end up blocking me that or i just flat out run away from people i dont deserve to be around others  im boring uninteresting and only copying everybody else i dont deserve company i do this to myself and yet i still have the nerve to complain why im so depressedso basically of course all of this bs has led me to become addicted to super quick and easy bursts of dopamine as the only means of passing time these days anyways feeling sad eat a slice of cake still sad jerk off sad again eat some more junk sad once more jack off furiously which is totally great because ive become desensitized to meaningful pleasure and joy and ive gained like  pounds lolno wonder playing video games feels like a job or an annoying task and drawing feels pointless because i know itll turn out terrible anyways so im too scared to even pick up the pencil im just thinking about when i can eat next despite the fact that im literally fat lol i cant believe i was tricked into thinking i had an ed and i cant untrick my fat self i hate my body more than anything in the world always have always will i just cant stop thinking the same thoughts over and over every goddamn dayin general nothing about life excites me really i feel like i already did anything i wanted to theres nothing im looking forward to im pathetic and feel guilty for feeling pathetic which makes me feel even more pathetic and that is all pathetic in and of itselfif you read this far then thanks i have no idea how im going to survive uni at all literally,3.0
8936,earthquake  disneyland  rides shut down bummer ,2.0
8937,dougcaldwell i did too played with it until  that night have done nothing since  lazy not interested value not seen ur thoughts,2.0
8938,rachaelglory dear miss capricorn thank you for the starbucks u really didnt have to do that but that was an awesome surprise ,0.0
8939,is so so very glad summer is here ,0.0
8940,my friend saved my life yesterday and she doesnt know it this is my first post to reddit first time using it really i just wanted to put this out there because i cant bring myself to tell anyone i actually know and im not looking for sympathy or attention either i knew what i was doing yesterday had been one of my low points one of the lowest in my life i suffer from depression and lately its been really hard my fiance doesnt understand how someone can be depressed she thinks that i should just choose to not be and so talking to her is impossible i have friends really great friends might i add that would listen and be there for me but they all have things going on in their lives and i wouldnt want to burden them with my problems my family loves me too but i hardly reach out to them so i definitely dont want the one time i finally do to be about my issues i know i know its the depression talking right but anyways i was home alone yesterday and i just couldnt climb out of the hole id been in me and my fiance were fighting really bad and i didnt know what else to do i sat on the bed and pulled out the gun in her nightstand and looked at it for awhile i kept putting it up to my head and back down again i was terrified and angry at myself for feeling scared i finally put it up to my head and sat there for a minute longer as my finger finally went to the trigger i got a text from my friend brooke it literally said this hey friend thinking about you and i love you so much thanks for dealing with my nonsense  youre an amazing human now granted we hadnt been texting that day and i cant make this up i literally got it the moment i decided to end it like something out of a movie i broke down crying and immediately put the gun up and just grabbed my dog and sat on the ground now i cant say i wont feel my depression eat at me anymore but she made me realize in that moment that i wouldnt just be ending my pain by doing that but id be passing it to the people i love and that scares me the most i still havent told her i dont think i ever will but she saved my life yesterday and she has no idea it mightve not had been a big deal to her sending that to me but it changed my world literally if theres anyone reading this that is feeling suicidal please try and remember that there will always be someone out there that loves you even if that person is a random internet stranger thanks for reading,3.0
8941, cool  i havent been on it today keep getting distracted by twitter instead p,0.0
8942,quotinvalid friend id this user has either cancelled their membership or their account has been deletedquot oh ,2.0
8943,i hate mondays lol and looks like its raining ,2.0
8944,my room from junior year looks sad and abandoned  ,2.0
8945,good morning peeps ,0.0
8946,watching nick and norahs infinite playlist ,0.0
8947,my tummy hurts ,2.0
8948,roserubia lmaooo screw it wequotll do it for them hahah evil laugh oddin them ,0.0
8949,rt alexernst my anxiety gonna be the death of me,2.0
8950,rt ceotct my letter on dont blame the academies in yesterdays observer  ,2.0
8951,ocblkbarbie come on now did u ever even have a doubt they home they had to take it ,0.0
8952, thanks girlie i love yo main pic too but i cant see ur background pic ,2.0
8953,i love him you know ,2.0
8954,why do ppl i know have to move in apts i wanna be in when im stuck at home saving money ,2.0
8955,tashadolla lmaothe spanish jawn  oh lawd,2.0
8956,finally opened up to friends about my depression and ive never been more miserable now im just lying here in bed wanting to die so so badly i wasnt expecting them to fix my depression or anything i just wanted to know that people cared because i cant stand feeling so alone but now i know i am alone i just want to kill myself and have it end ,3.0
8957,saw entire season  of weeds and my phone is still broken from swimming in lake travisguess lg phones are not water resistent ,2.0
8958,as a teenager i would witness it not only in my surroundings but on social media as well its so damn sad that peo ,1.0
8959,tired just sitting at my desk must get coffee now ,2.0
8960,eating veggie enchilladas from trader joes  while catching up on the worldwhich really means starring at rpatzs new shirtless pics ,0.0
8961,imagine thinking locker room talk is more important than being inclusive sad,0.0
8962,tjarnhem haha i knew youd love them so my computer delivery is delayed wont have it til thursday now i think ,2.0
8963, heh yeah to give you some context he dropped the soap in the shower ,0.0
8964,coldplay live was awesome it was a super cold night but awesome ,0.0
8965,major writers block i dont even feel like touching my hair today and thats major ,2.0
8966,i woke up  and had no tym to get ready i wanna cry ,2.0
8967,im so having a doctor who marathon tomorrow ,0.0
8968,sinhala bloggers  why are you all sleepy today very few blog posts ,2.0
8969,officiallyamy haha yeah okay ,0.0
8970,should be revising for test  but isnt ,2.0
8971,jealz of everyone trock last night i heard it was a blast  aauuuguuuust be here now,2.0
8972,evacuated from apt building due to fire sun all are safe  returning today ,0.0
8973,i shouldnt have panicked its all my fault ,2.0
8974,my poor baby kitty fell off the balcony yesterday  my poor baby kitty fell off the balcony yesterday ,2.0
8975,im proud of myself ive been waking up early all week ,0.0
8976, your awesome ,0.0
8977,i forgot i was depressed for a while one of the worst parts about beginning to feel a bit better is when a day like today hits and theres nothing i can do i feel so powerless i know i need to get up i know i need to go outside i know i need to shower i know i need to eat i know i need to get out of bed i just cant see any reason to do so when i feel like this whats the point is just blaring in my head all day i dont even know what im trying to say,3.0
8978,seriously ive choked on this one cup of tea four times it makes me so sad    ,2.0
8979,excitement when receiving gifts so its no secret i suffer from some pretty gnarly depression anxiety i have this thing that my sister hates she absolutely loves christmas not because she gets stuff but because she loves to get stuff for people and seeing their reaction i seem to be incapable of showing excitement when i get things though dont get me wrong i am excited i just cant dont show it i feel all emotions and so just st being emotionless isnt a problem idk when this started either because i remember being a little hyperactive beast as a kid when it came to christmas and my birthday is this a side effect of depression or something different ,3.0
8980,rt thetrumptrain realdonaldtrump whitehouse sad ,1.0
8981,jamesjumpsuit  ill be in bakersfield sunday lol  for rockin roots,0.0
8982,rt littlestartae they even know when and where he went to the funeralsomeone legit just stalked himthats just sad,0.0
8983,gossip girl made me cry ,2.0
8984,elitetravelgal your key is a real differentiator u should be able to do something with that  wwwelitetravelgalexclusiveperkscom ,0.0
8985,brookewyatt i trust you if you say shes cool shes coolim out of bear names tho ,0.0
8986, via designrelated are designed gallery exhibition postcardsmailers going extinct via nyt httpowlyfhjc,2.0
8987,livemanalove not when your at the other end of them  lol,2.0
8988,im never gonna finish these scenes  uggghhhhhhh,2.0
8989,i must make time to run off the ridiculous amount of french toast i just put down ,0.0
8990,moving the boyfriend to his new apartment today no tears todaywellmaybe  or  ,2.0
8991,i created my first reddit because my boyfriend was drowning in his depression and i wanted desperately to help him since then ive gained more insight and listened to all you beautiful people and because of you ive learned how to better help him im not sure if this is right right place to post this and i hope i dont upset anyone this is my second acct by the way i wanted to create a new one yesterday for personal reasons but the title pretty much says everything i wanted to thank each one of you for being vulnerable with your feelings and helping one another as youve helped me help the man i love i hope nothing but the best for each of you and i hope this means something to someone ,3.0
8992,donrushnapoleon evrythings good  thx and urself,0.0
8993, take me with u ,0.0
8994,why are the quotchildrenquot so loud ,2.0
8995,my parents found out that im feeling suicidal my father told mewe go out into that world everyday grinding our bones so that you can have a good life and then you want to do this go ahead if you want tomy mother was more supportive but still she told meif you ever think about suicide again we will have a big problem problem in the sense of them being angry at me they are part of the problem and my mother asked me why i was feeling like this i think most of you wouldnt have said oh yeah you have caused this in the way you treat me sometimes lol so they just dismissed it as me exaggerating,3.0
8996,billoddie even now at  i still chuckle at the anticslol  how are tim and graham do you keep in touch thank u for the laughter ,0.0
8997,how long for zoloft to kick in after a week long break i had an issue with my prescription and was out of meds for almost a week i have been feeling dizzy emotional and sort of in a fog im getting my prescription refilled tomorrow and i was wondering if these symptom will go away soon after taking it again or if itll take a few weeks as if i am starting them for the first time,3.0
8998,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
8999,realmfox hey woman whats up with this    poor boy httpperezhiltoncomcategorymeganfox,2.0
9000,hmmmm so next day air only had my mos def in it for like  scenes ,2.0
9001,tnbasement give me a link when youre done posting thanks ,0.0
9002,i have the best mom on twitter lol ,0.0
9003,johannadc you say real reporter i say tourist geek tomato tomoto ,0.0
9004,mrrrooop charlottes here and shes awesome that is all ,0.0
9005,woke up to a leaky water bed ,2.0
9006,troquei a foto do twitter e ele me disse quotthats a nice picturequot aí eu me achei heh ,2.0
9007,my mom is the most beautiful bengali woman in syracuse so glad that i got her genes  gettin ready ampthen goin to melihas party,0.0
9008, oh dear until this hour i have not start doing my sop no hope le ,2.0
9009,btstwt 💜💜💜💜💜💜well be with you  always baby please dont be sad 😭😭i hope everything will be fine with you 😭,0.0
9010,saying goodbye to verena ,2.0
9011, oh  whr u headin so nice u get  so broke right now i thk i  survive with bread n coffee,2.0
9012,too lazy amp too bored to work ,2.0
9013,playarabbit bad tyms im burnin like a lobster in this sun ha ,0.0
9014,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
9015,getting ready to go gyming i took a two day break so i guess i can go todayomg this means pain ,2.0
9016,i dont feeeel good  i wanna go home,2.0
9017,finally done wwork wish i was off to a nk concert ,2.0
9018,rt taekmyheart incase youre sad or your tl is ugly ,2.0
9019,youre doing everything right then why dont i feel any better my therapist keeps telling me that im doing all i can i go to therapy im taking my medication im working out i go to class i go out with friends often and yet i still want to die ive been struggling with depression for about  years now and a year ago i decided enough was enough and started trying to get better but despite doing everything i can absolutely nothing has changed i still feel like i shouldnt be alive everyday it gets harder to believe that it will ever change i dont know what to do i might as well just kill myself and get it ive with cause i dont know how much longer i can live like this,3.0
9020,coworker said may be because i hav chinese parents who does not make conversations so i was not able to have conversations with others ,2.0
9021,back from  mile walk with the woobie and the doggie  yet another stunningly beautiful day here in so cal jealous yet d,0.0
9022,rt helainahovitz   heres a guide to resources no matter where you live or what you can afford safehorizon trevorproject htt,0.0
9023,kalilahtwitts  orlando   q  mins left its practically over and im sad ,2.0
9024,i wish i was at star wars weekends but ill have to contain myself for  weeks may   birthday june   hollywood studios ,0.0
9025,rt hallmaelisa when mental health creativity and entrepreneurship come together interesting things can happen  i love seeing n https,0.0
9026,i only joid this because of the new  updatecomeing soon ,0.0
9027,listening old pakistani songs ,2.0
9028,misterpeterman i had the same problem then i had to get my father to wake me up in the morning  minutes later than usual  ,2.0
9029, ignore them amelia bedelia youre way more flyyy than them anyway ,0.0
9030,adriolivera thats wat she saidd xd but anyways yes it does suck if u were close by id go nd pik u up myself ,2.0
9031,soapsindepthabc teenystweeting generalhospital you are so beautiful and loved by so many people depression is a horrid disease ❤️,1.0
9032,delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday delongeday ,0.0
9033,my father died  months ago from cancer im honestly just looking to ventmy father died  months ago to stage  prostate cancer he was my best friend in the whole world and i miss him more than anything i have never had anyone close to me die before and i havent been handling it welli have had issues with depression in the past but never like this completely oppressive make you want to never do anything ever again depression a lot of the time i think about dying not killing myself but just dying i feel like shit all of the time i have completely become a recluse from everything i love i just wish i could go to sleepto my mom and family im sorry for pushing you away im sorry to my girlfriend for becoming so irritated with everything i miss you dad,3.0
9034,just cross cause im stuck twiddling my thumbs now ugh ,2.0
9035,im at up with no children ,0.0
9036,hummudah hummudah hummudah you just keep getting more and more adorable each day dont you ,0.0
9037,couldntve asked for a better day ampamp it ended with quotbirthday sex birthday sexquot  anywho im dead tired now buh juss wanted  update,0.0
9038,markotu sounds good to me you go out loads lol x jealous although i have coffee and french pastries tomorrow no where near as good ,2.0
9039,prinzhernan to show everyone my sore arms btw if you think the civil code is boring wait til you get to negotiable instruments ,0.0
9040,nice hair you got der haha ,0.0
9041,couldnt finish it ,2.0
9042,why you feel depressed because of being ugly low selfconfidentbad bodyshape bad relationship or whatim just curious about it thanks,3.0
9043,feels just like it should ,0.0
9044,nykaaa eh well i dont know if i should be happy about it or not haha this is our last summer before college eh ,2.0
9045,woo extreme loggers bed is like heaven right now  ate to much mac and cheese but thats ok phone call sleep text,0.0
9046,nofixedoffice get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
9047,wilsonmattos trouble maker  did you call allen a punk or something ,0.0
9048,seongyxin elf sasuke with anxiety,2.0
9049,chintatahir kakak r u goin back to sydney already err we havent met yet take me with you i miss mingling in sydney ,2.0
9050,yay my vfv video is uploading ,0.0
9051,wondering if theres something can brought me back to november ,2.0
9052,iowadawg or the other addage of look at the mother and thats what you are going to be marrying ,0.0
9053,up bright and early for cheer practice time to get this dance started ,0.0
9054,just woke up well kinda didnt sleep had a fight with my boo ,2.0
9055,got the palm pre at the prerelease party  already have a dead pixel and charger doesnt work  other than that i really like it,2.0
9056,esatt you dont wanna see me while youre here ,2.0
9057,interesting  google chrome for linux albeit via wine  httpwwwcodeweaverscomservicesportschromium ,0.0
9058,hermorrine no its really blurry ,2.0
9059,going to do abit of reading ,0.0
9060,what a great sunny day full of great rugby  and the valkyries beat cern geneva jehhh,0.0
9061,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
9062,like just woke up i want to go out to eat ,0.0
9063, yes very sad,2.0
9064,mariadotson maybe light beer is so light it floatsstraight to your headhope you dont have any ill side effects ,0.0
9065,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
9066,happy holiday schools are out for half term and its hotting up for bank holiday weekend  enjoy   ,0.0
9067,only  thing sucks about holidays worrying about pets cats will be tgthr  quotcat resortquot but jonesy wont have much company  dadinlaw ,2.0
9068,johnreuben im going to miss you at sonshine this year why arent you coming    bringbacklife,2.0
9069,aplusk im guessing those are two points youd rather not have  hope you feel better  ,2.0
9070, can someone please explain to me why one of the first warnings on almost all antidepression medications is may cause suicidal,1.0
9071,relaxingready to send this man off to work ,0.0
9072,but june  is not going to be anywhere near as glorious as august  woot woot ,0.0
9073,rawloulou just hard enough hows that  today we have appointments so on those days it balances out the work  my day is great ,0.0
9074,got approx  hours sleep last night but fatcyclist took babies down for breakfast amp i got another hour yay  i,0.0
9075,i added a video to a youtube playlist  chaha he tujko chahunga har dam song very sad heartbroken emotional,2.0
9076,damianestrada what why im sad now ,2.0
9077,rutledgewood grrrrr i cant watch no cable tv  thats why im here waiting for updates and detailslol i want my cable back have fun,2.0
9078,sure thats fine ,0.0
9079,mathewgendron  when are you guys announcing the summer tour im impatiently waiting here haha ,0.0
9080,wonderful day  yoga in brooks quad to relieve stress yes,0.0
9081,lmbratcher fall out boy cobra starship all time low concert twas amazing ,0.0
9082,iamdiddy its all good diddywe are all so blessed ,0.0
9083,bow chica bow wow yumma yumma anthony pettis u are one hot mma fighter double extra points for not having cauliflower ear ,0.0
9084,ptolemyalexande that should help drink water aswell i usually get bad headaches when i get dehydrated ,2.0
9085,cupcakes yess i love it im on the last season unfortunately ,2.0
9086,lets all send our deepest condolences to dcook sad  httpwwwmahalocomadamcook,2.0
9087,xolotl more like refactoring ,0.0
9088,im coming back from gym and i feel totally relaxed but still some work to do  someone heeeelp,2.0
9089,quoti havent had meat in five yearsquot quotwell i havent had a banana in a yearquot oh comdey central on the eliptical ,0.0
9090,how to manage the stress and  anxiety article selfhelp new approach httpstcoiepymqzowc ,1.0
9091,so something ive never told anyone sometimes i can be really enjoying myself playing games out shoppingwalking or listening to music and suddenly ill get these overwhelming and all consuming thoughts to end it all i dont mean the thought pops in my head but more the feeling just consumes me and i get so low and upset then maybe  later ill be completely fine againa few years ago i got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and it was identified i had been self harming since i was five but in all that time i never had this feeling that i get now s,3.0
9092,for the  time all week im bored at work im borednot helping with the timei wanna start my vaca ,0.0
9093,yep always,0.0
9094,i dont think people realize that im actually kinda tall  sorry shorties  ,0.0
9095,elisesmith they are very yummy im eating one too  bagels ,0.0
9096,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
9097,just learning how to use the twittertweettweettweet ,0.0
9098,ahh facebooks all fcked up for some reason  it doesnt look like a normal website ,2.0
9099,not in a good place rn this is for me but feel free to read hollowthe void echoing inside youyou cant sleepthe voice keeps speaking reminding you of everything that could go wrongnothing is good anymorethe negatives tower over the few positives like a mountain over a pile of dirtits dauntingthe idea of carrying onwhat would change if you disappearedsome may miss you but theres only seven stagesthe future is colourlesslike a beautiful sunset fading into black and white as the rain and fog sets in blocking its viewits hardpretendingputting on your happy little show so that people dont worry about yousmiling when people talk acting like youre not scaredscared of the unknowns the uncertaintyevery compliment hiding malicious intentits logicalits safenot letting anyone get closeif everyones at arms length youre safeand alonealone and empty,3.0
9100,brilliant marketing by trvsbrkr and djam just got their new mix tape in exchange for a tweet phenomenal deal    httpbitlyxqnac,0.0
9101,hes so cute when hes sleeping ,0.0
9102, thanxx preeugh im still here i jus wanna  eat  ,0.0
9103,i collect facebook fans facebook httpbitlydsarx   what do you collect ,0.0
9104,rt chadjamian rt if youve hid in a garbage can from a dog or have anxiety,2.0
9105,eqcollections i did make contact today and kathy emailed me some forms thanks again ,0.0
9106,jemfyr sorry i missed you ,2.0
9107,poynterlubz awww  im sure itll be okay just dont think about the single being released etc x,2.0
9108,rainmc have fun yall i prob wont be going simon needs the car for family obligations which trumps rock show road trip ,2.0
9109,just having a laxed sunday waiting for my red wings to kill the ducks at  ,0.0
9110,lost his usb ,2.0
9111,and gona download more music lol  ,0.0
9112,obviously nathan  telll me,2.0
9113,amp i love it how you make me smileeee ,0.0
9114,at the lake with my peeps getting tan  and the ice cream man just gave me a free ice creamsick,0.0
9115,enzobalc i have been abducted by the green aliens they have taken me to tehran were going  green in support of free elections in iran ,0.0
9116,i never asked for any of this i never asked to be born from a poor familyi never asked to be ugly and shorti never wanted to be in schooli never wanted to work years and years working min wage joblife is bullshit,3.0
9117,big sad face   bing doesnt work on iphone  it just takes you to the regular mobile live search,2.0
9118,just a bad day hey guys so im not really depressive right now but im having a real bad day its not really that bad but i overthink a lot so heres the situation i managed to piss one of my friends off somehow ive narrowed it down to either a comment i said to her that was just along the lines of why is everyone so dramatic and fighting all the time something like that or it might have been me texting her a bit too much but i mean that hasnt been an issue in the past so i dunno maybe its the comment maybe its something else i have no idea my apologies if im rambling a lot but im just saying what comes to mind ive had a bad history with friendships so i tend to start thinking as soon as i fuck up not that i have in the past on purpose i go out of my way to make sure i dont most of the time theyre just gonna flop the friendship no matter what and i really dont want to lose this friendship shes a pretty cool person and likes a lot of the stuff i enjoy too vice versa is also applicable i just want to know if im overreacting i honestly have never fought with a friend before and i know it varies from person to person but she at least told me i pissed her off compared to not responding before hand so i apologized and told her if we havent talked by next tuesday id catch her after class and try then im really hoping that i just need to give her a few days to calm down and then well be fine sigh on top of that my aunt had to go to the hospital today because of some abominable pain not much i can say about that i only found out when i got home from going somewhere today so that doesnt help my day either and i know this isnt a really bad post this was just the first place i thought i could vent tldr i pissed my friend off family problems and some positivity would be nice right now,3.0
9119, how to put your balls on eminem a practical guide hilarious  eminem mtv mtvmusicawards,0.0
9120,lifestyleonline  do you think we may soon be liberated from the dictatorship of the left then cazza  a dream surely ,0.0
9121,mindywhite happy birthmonth lolcan u pls tweet about the group and mileymonday  xoxo,0.0
9122,punchycritic the imax is pretty amazing coming from the person who fell asleep at the one in niagra ,2.0
9123,lovejonasheart i checked it outvery nice ,0.0
9124,stuck in the office on a pretty darned nice day looking forward to my  dates off work ,0.0
9125, its because he said he doesnt like tweeting on jonathan ross haha   and i kept on waiting for that  i kept on saying hes,0.0
9126,aishaquandt no i swear to you she did not ,0.0
9127,singing to thank you for loving me  bon jovi  my favourite song ,0.0
9128,at the doctors again ,2.0
9129,phillyd terriost god the bermuda triangle wambo theres lots of things ,0.0
9130,ok its after  am im going to try to go to sleep again  maybe it will work this time   am here i come  ,2.0
9131,is cabut bimbel doooonnngggg  ,0.0
9132,im obsessed with the streets song trust me since yesterday  makes me want to get back to london asap has  the lyrics ,0.0
9133, i know its kinda sad that it really hasnt hit me yet either ,2.0
9134,clubcushions thanks missy ,0.0
9135, it will at least make you less sleepy thats a plus the other part cant be fixed with sleep unfortunately ,2.0
9136,ugh mom always gets the shit end of luck ,2.0
9137,i keep getting an error from updating tweetdeck ,2.0
9138,freya wish i would have been able to get on here earlier bc i would have watched twi with you dangit maybe next time ,0.0
9139,jessicastrust tooth fairy doesnt exist here  instead they have a little rat called ratoncito perez think i might have to bypass gtgt,2.0
9140,supernatural on tomorrow heck yeaaahh third best show first is jonas then wizards of waverly place ,0.0
9141,wickedannabella sorry youre going through a rough patch with the teenager ,2.0
9142,going to bed soon gotta take my dog to the vet in the am he has a boo boo  good night my twitter friends good night nkotb,2.0
9143,tonight i have to head back to california away from the woman i love so much memories will have to tide me over until im here again ,2.0
9144,really hot cant sleep  good thing i got family guy ,2.0
9145,nick youre sooooo beautifull i was wating for you out the hotel but i didnt see you ,2.0
9146,montyrules yes she just blocked me  could you ask her whyto unblock me please ,2.0
9147,it simply cannot be understated just how pathetic i am   still live with my parents  work a part time job  hours a week making minimum wage  dropped out of high school dont have my license  and my fucking parents still drop me off at places like smfh never been in a relationship of any kind never had anyone interested in me never been kissed been on a date i am completely inexperienced in this field all together  i have no special skills or talents  too dumb to make it in any trades  flat broke and despite living with my parents rent free i still only make it pay check to pay check  on top of all that im overweighti have literally nothing going for me in my life no prospects no future nothing its no surprise ive never had any girls interested in me and i dont blame them im in the exact same spot now as i was  years ago  literally the exact same bed the exact same room doing the exact same things except now im not surrounded by my friends because theyve all moved on in their lives and are actually doing something productive with themselves working fulltime at good paying jobs moving to a new city busy with their girlfriends or wives having kids i havent advanced in any one area of my life since high school im nothing to anything ive wasted everything,3.0
9148,good movie to watch since monday morning my depression hit me like a motherfucker and i need something to watch thatll take me out of this funk i am in right now i am feeling like life isnt worth living lets not mention that im living check to check fuck capitalism,3.0
9149,aimeelady well you got the tart bit right  please please please take me back ,2.0
9150,feeling a bit down now ,2.0
9151,leaving for st louis todayi cant leave him behind ,2.0
9152,rt iamaverytywan whoever reading this i pray life over you right now anxiety depression suicidal thoughts all that rebuked in the nam,1.0
9153,anyone got a job for me im so looking for a job right now it sucks graduating from university right now  help,2.0
9154,anxiety can eat burnt toast 🍞,0.0
9155,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
9156,londonmonet now u of all people should kno better as much as i love layla her screaming at me is not good alarm ,0.0
9157,i wanna see upppppp ,2.0
9158,melissabob yeah l dicks they never used to be like this  toopid ass milla,2.0
9159,i feel realy sick ,2.0
9160,just ate me some bosaa doughnuts lol i lovvveeee bosa doughnuts  they ruleeee,0.0
9161,sooits been a while since ive been to the dentist and oh boy i had some cavitiesmy mom was not happy ,2.0
9162,dat coz forcin me to crash the capulet party because of my depression 😒 methinks ill go to seduce rosaline😋 tamingofthefalcon 💕,2.0
9163,rt  the fact that i might not ever see some of these people from high school ever again is giving me concerning amounts of separati,1.0
9164,     ,0.0
9165,pears amp brie bottle of cabernet and quotwin a date with tad hamiltonquot oh gawwd my life flashed forward to when im  with my  cats ,2.0
9166,bettyispretty yes please ,0.0
9167,just got kicked out of the candy wall for the first time blasphemy ,2.0
9168,scootamazing  i will throw a poptart at you haha,2.0
9169,i feel like a zombie all the time and im tired of it i feel like a zombie all the time and im really really sick of it i feel like im left on auto pilot and someone else is getting me through the day im tired and mentally checked out no matter what i dowhen does it end,3.0
9170,do you ever wish u werent born idk when i get these suicidal thoughts part of me says do u really want to kill urself and it changes my mind i just wish i wasnt ever created it wouldve been so much better if i didnt have to experience my shitty life,3.0
9171,rt clayfeathers melania trump questions kathy griffins mental health after trump beheading photo thursdaythoughts  ,1.0
9172,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
9173,greggrunberg well thats typical i must of got onto wlum online just as you had left cos its on to the next show now ,2.0
9174,has woken up very lateooops revision for me nowhmph ,2.0
9175,woke up with an awful awful headache ,2.0
9176,making rap videos with ppl from angola iraq afganistan portugal china amp moredidnt understand every word but it was pretty cool ,0.0
9177,why am i finding this so difficult ,2.0
9178,melissaruth why not take  mins to eat rest renew  then tackle the rest of your day will be more productive if you do ,0.0
9179,rajivvishwa but you could login to your linux rightmine was a hardware issuemb and hd got replaced todaytime for installations now ,2.0
9180,still got a driving hang over accidental phone call from friend worried me and got me out of bed ,2.0
9181,i must confess that the news of the rioparis airfrance flight crash left me uneasy and frightened i took the same route  weeks ago ,2.0
9182,not feeling ok everything hurts so bad ,2.0
9183,rt  lil sad,2.0
9184,sarahxatl betch no fair ,2.0
9185,doing history coursework ,2.0
9186,i want to drive into a tree i hate travelling to my workplace it has been  years of travelling a total of  km to and fro everyday now i am at a point where i will look at every trees and every poles along the way and try to decide which one should i hit i dont wanna die i just want it to be one more solid reason for the upper people to finally realise how bad my condition is the only thing that stop me from hitting a tree is because im driving a brand new car which my husband bought for me just last month,3.0
9187,im on bussiness trip in yantai china here weather is noot good ,2.0
9188,  my mummy is the best cooker ,0.0
9189,im even more ill today and the pneumatic drill has started up again ,2.0
9190,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
9191, bugger i knew i needed to watch something you never on msn anymore ,2.0
9192,i stopped worrying about dying ya know i just dont really think i care anymore ive hit a point where i go to sleep at night and just hope i dont wake up the stress ive been feeling for years has just all built up i stopped living every day like its my last and instead live everyday like i wish it was i dont want to kill myself but im not exactly wishing myself the best i am started on zoloft so it could just be the side effects of that just wanted to see if anyone else feels this way as i notice most people dont really care till your on the cusp of mortality and not just in the limbo of living,3.0
9193,sparklesfreak yay sparkles is on twitter my day is now complete ,0.0
9194,getting ready for work i hate mondays  ,2.0
9195,just watched the video on perezhilton site about the punch and then watch williams video amp i agree with perez  thats awful,2.0
9196,madisonvanity you seem to be not having fun ,2.0
9197,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
9198,thanks for the delicious food just had our lunch break back to work now ,0.0
9199,do you guys have any tips for being generally happy each day and to stop being so bitterangry at everyone and everything i know that i dont have it bad in life but for the past  or  years im  now i have been so extremely angry bitter and depressed  im not sure how to get over it because i want to be the person who is happy and who others enjoy to be around i have a therapist that i see regularly but that doesnt help sometimes and i kind of want advice for those who have been through depression and struggle with anxiety and how they stay positive starting with college it hit me hard i lost connection with a lot of friends and family and i just feel really lonely,3.0
9200,you will be remembering in  days lol,0.0
9201, no traducción del web site  lol but i love spanish and want to take classes one day,2.0
9202,this is the most saddest shit its not cute it makes me so sad to leave every time,1.0
9203,its pretty bad when the work drama starts before the work day even really begins ,2.0
9204,thebobblog hmm me too wish we could do something abt this meat craving ,0.0
9205,im home very tired had lots of fun parents anniversary today me home alone          taking naps ha,2.0
9206,rt estaetics armys please dont drop the asian tour date yet were broke were not readyalso armys boo boo the fools again wheres b,0.0
9207,just got back from wal mart w stephenagraham now hes gotta head back up to school ,2.0
9208,is obsessing over chris pine  heehee,0.0
9209,nice southwest let me push back my return trip two days for a mere  dollars ,0.0
9210,gah i just dont find conan funny  im sorry for the lame with a side of losersauce,2.0
9211,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
9212,im confused so i know i am young and people dont think im serious but im really confused im eleven years old and i just started to go to middle school and ever since then ive been feeling strange my dad has gotten angrier and ive been feeling distant like im talking to someone but it feels like im in a different place ive been beginning to get control of my emotions but has been getting outburstsof rage some kids bully me because im overweight and my personality i only have a couple friends im not in the cool kid group what im saying is that i need advice on what to do ,3.0
9213,laurawrsaurus yeah in the  i thought the ending was forced turns out all the books miss out on fightsdeathslove scenes etc ,2.0
9214,jackiemacd you should give tips on dos  donts  lol,0.0
9215,orangelizziee i dont know what to wear either ,2.0
9216,im scared is it me or just when you talk to someone that youve met the first timeyou guys would just suddenly click together and yall are able to talk about any kind of topic and everythingand youd then slowly start to catch feelings for that personthinking of good a relationship would be with that personhow wonderful your future would be with himherbut lateryou can feel and tell that theyre slowly losing interest in you and that those things that youve thought ofwould just never happenive been talking to this girl lately and im scaredim scared of losing herif i lose herid literally have nothing left,3.0
9217,oh just finished reorganizing the pantry stuff in there i never knew we had scary well im off to bed night twitterland ,0.0
9218,xheiligsein youll remember dont worry ,0.0
9219,aprilfilms  i had tickets but had to bail due to work  sounds like it was going to be a blast,2.0
9220,mercedesashley hey thanks for following me  btw im a rapperrrsongwritter  ampamp i think youare really sweet love youu  ,0.0
9221,loads of fun playing baseball tonightt i can officially hit the ball six times in a row ,0.0
9222,lozdee jealous i couldnt get moran tickets ,2.0
9223,gcse in  minutes ill probably rush it and fall asleep till the end the weather is horrible today ,2.0
9224,i need advice badly so im  and still living with my mom and stepdad i never went to college and in a few hours im supposed to go get my physical to get into the air forcethe problem is im second guessing myself because i have almost daily suicidal thoughtsim stuck where im at in the middle of nowhere and think this is my only way out but like i said i have no idea what to docan anyone help me,3.0
9225,oh gosh another stupid early day wish i wasnt the grumpy sleepy girl but i amsorry    only one person can make me smile,2.0
9226,maybe the first tweet should have been added new blog ,0.0
9227,purple and pink braceeeees ,0.0
9228,rktac lolz nothing to be ashamed of i went through the samething  theres no rush ,0.0
9229,why am i even still trying im bipolar but have been stable on my meds without an episode in the last  years  even though im technically disabled i still have a full time job that i work very hard at  im always pleasant to my colleagues and help them out whenever they need me to  i do things that make their lives easier even when im not asked to  the only thing i do not do is socialize regularly as it gives me terrible anxiety  yet every single year when the recognition awards are sent out its always the exact same people like the popular kids in high school  no matter how hard i try people just never seem to notice or care  so why am i still trying so hard  giving up is really appealing right now  i can comfortably live off disability benefits thanks to some good insurance  i just hope this isnt the start of a depressive episode  if i have to get more ect its likely to bugger up my memory completely and then i cant work anyway  sorry for the ramble  feels like my brain is in the wrong gear,3.0
9230,whats the point i have suffered from depression for as long as i can remember and am currently really low i cant find motivation to do anything i have no purpose i find joy in nothing food taste like nothing i cant sleep what is the point,3.0
9231, oh poor little guy  what was in that pool water  ,2.0
9232,galindafied you are such a sweetheart so caring ,0.0
9233,is it monday yet sigh ,2.0
9234,this is my last day smoking so of course i cant sleep ,2.0
9235,rt  another night where i fall victim to my depression no one tells you how hard it can get the repeating lines in my head,2.0
9236,i wish i could drink  or smoke and watch half baked it just isnt the same sober,2.0
9237,my dog is limping  not how id like to end my day,2.0
9238,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
9239,englishroses  thanks very much  i think your request might be coming in a bit,0.0
9240,mistygirlph playing around with a few ideas and being general geeky ,0.0
9241,shoppinger browsing the new tiffany silver collections ,0.0
9242,is mourning the death of her bio midterm ,2.0
9243,palm pregot one albeit not mine       nice and itunes thinks its an ipod  itll need a faster brain next time tholike me,2.0
9244,my throat hurtsssssss  read a little then off to rest,2.0
9245,i feel hatedno one ever talks to me  well then,2.0
9246,rt bastardlookk bbymuthas instagram story cured my depression ,2.0
9247,chempaka not uum is it  hmm dunno think lebih kurang jer kalau sintok tu lain la cheaper a bit kot,0.0
9248,missed stealingoneal at the hifi  waaa they shouldve opened the doors earlier ah well see you at your next melbourne gig boys haha,2.0
9249,the ultimate guide to social anxiety and bipolar disorder ,1.0
9250,just got homevery crazy dayi hate firing people especially wheb they dont take it well ,2.0
9251,going up in a copter around uptown charlottemy job rocks sometimes ,0.0
9252,read news now its time to get up shouldnt drunk that damn energy drink which prevented me to sleep till  am  gonna take a shower,2.0
9253,i havent had anxiety like this in like a year its so bad pls get me outta here i have to sit far away from  in the corner,1.0
9254,weed the first few years of smoking weed were fine they were fun its not addictive they say you can quit wheneverif its not addictive do i smoke for some other reason do i smoke to forget do i smoke because of all the things that i regretim not sure if the depression causes me to smoke or if the smoking caused the depressioni dont know if im just looking for something to blame for losing everything i loved maybe i just cant accept that im weak,3.0
9255,vbgirlie and i just emailed a model agency  im only  i just wanna do small modeling in little rock,0.0
9256,cant believe i have to go sit back up at the hospital in this heat ,2.0
9257,rt patcohennyt why is a belowaverage jobless rate still causing above average anxiety no security and stability  ,1.0
9258,thegrundle when i went skydiving the freefalling  was the best part how high was your jump sorry to hear it didnt go well ,2.0
9259,pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa  ay loh gal wifuna lah nandos yakhe,2.0
9260,itzzzzmartinnn oh my god that means everything i was having so much anxiety of posting it but overall said fuck it,1.0
9261,a lancaster bomber just flew over my house ,0.0
9262,i cant decide if im hungry or not  and want these shoes httpbitlycustomchucks donate  to my cause pls,2.0
9263,chemistry revision ,2.0
9264,queenofnewyork for sure its acting up today ,2.0
9265,desperately want a friend  years for  years of my life i have been completely alone and isolated ive tried everything i could think of to make a friend im always the one making the first move and in  years not a soul has met half way im not the type of person to force someone to be my friend im a  year old dude who lives in a deserted ghost town so its very hard to find a friend let alone a job to get myself the fuck out of this situation  my dream is to join a band ive been playing guitar for a good  years to the point where i only play when that red light is on in my home studio thats all i do ive tried to meet people in online games but with a  ms ping its hard to see the point in doing that shit it would make my year if i had someone to talk to talk music talk about life talk about anything im just very tired of not having a single friend to talk to year after year it sucks a lot,3.0
9266,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
9267,crystoth looking back into your own past hurts sometimes ,2.0
9268,at home again ,0.0
9269,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay httpstcodavbzrdbro,1.0
9270,do i have depression some days like today i wake up and i want to cry i feel it welling up a few days before it happens then finally i wake up and i feel tears in my eyes they stay there all day for a few days  ive never counted how many i can barely speak its hard to be kind i cant smile so when im forced to it looks incredibly unnatural and creepy im creepy all day actually because im just trying to get through it without breaking down im mad and i keep thinking negative thoughts and i catch myself and cheer myself up and im much better at it than i used to be  because i know this is internal and does not reflect my actual life but positive thinking is still something i have to actively force at this time i get really quiet because if i speak to any one about anything ill cry this causes me to get bullied a lot because during this time im so weirdthis happens every month for two weeks the earliest occurance being when i was is this depression or is it bipolar or is it something else please help im going to go to my doctor but i know him and hes going to prescribed antidepressants and get rid of me my therapist doesnt have a medical degree so i think her opinion is comparable to redditers ,3.0
9271,so happy ,0.0
9272,off to oslo dont forget to vote while im away  httpbitlylyxdi,0.0
9273,im so lost im in my second year of college and have no idea what im doing i have  interests in anything but video games but that is seeming to dwindle awayive changed my major  times already and still am not happy with any of them and i just want to drop out and go a different route because at this point im just waisting me and my parents money i have no interest in school or being friends with anyone  everyday i just wish that i could be alone in a room and left by myself what should i do,3.0
9274,live messenger just decided to delete itself from laptop ,2.0
9275,work experience tomorrow with little children ,2.0
9276,best friends are a treasure but friends more the merrier ,0.0
9277,and all pf this all what i came by is nothing to the horribility of the world pustide and what others experience ,2.0
9278,rt datsnayyy i get so much anxiety looking at this picture 😭 ,1.0
9279,  i guess so  he is very funny i quote his bit about skipping being the most effective mode of transport frequently o,0.0
9280,fayerwayer my godd the impossible happened fayerwayer me sige wee pero sigo siguiendo mas q de lo que me siguen  weee,2.0
9281,emypopozuda what  ,0.0
9282,star trek is like my new favorite movie i love chris pine  ,0.0
9283,wolvie is soooo hot id do him in a millisecond no lie no shame either i spose ,0.0
9284,mike tysons daughter died yesterday ,2.0
9285, you ever wonder what happened to that flying car idea and whatever happened to robots doing everything for us  ,0.0
9286,vildego bt u ng�y mai t cng th n trng ch hc  tit ri v ch�nh v� th n�n thy mt c�ng gh� ,2.0
9287,im kind of depressed that the meerkats havent event made an impact i do love a good meerkat ,2.0
9288,im drowning i really have no one to turn to im drowning and no one seems to realize the worst part is i have to pick up the pieces by myself every time but im really not okay i just need someone to care for me im so tired of hurting im sitting on the floor in my room tears running down my and in all my darkest moments its been this way just me,3.0
9289,whoever is in the nexus please can you hurry up so i can have a go ta  wow,0.0
9290,so farsummer sucksi am not happy  someone needs to liketext me or somethingseriously,2.0
9291,right after i tweeted this i realized how sad it truly is lol help,1.0
9292,ok  that sucked getting up from miniman floor and i totally rolled over on my bad knee ,2.0
9293,aneekamull  im so taking you up on that offeri can crunch the numbers but cant seem to make sense from them  its frustrating ,2.0
9294,i feel hypocritical i always tell my friends or people online that are attempting to or considering killing themselves that its not the answer and that they need to find helpive been in therapy for just over a year now and even after a therapy session where the therapist told my parents what i was considering as i watched my parents cry i hardly want to be alive anymorei dont know what to do,3.0
9295,talking about the feeling of wanting to die is it wrong for me to want to die yet i cant really muster up any bravery or will to actually do it  im already feeling miserable with every aspect in my life and yet even when i want to end it all icat even do that  is it wrong for me to be like that am i just someone with no guts to do something that i want am i really just that much of a coward  wanna ask the guys from reddit somehow i feel like this may help sorry if my post just ended up pissing people off,3.0
9296,mirthfully eliminating the pitiful infantile and drama osamas out  farewell to some hello me ,0.0
9297, the absolute worst jaeshaunese smthn abt an ex,2.0
9298, hi  unfollowed and refollowed hope thats unscrambled twitters brains,0.0
9299,monatweets hugs ill be thinking of you ,2.0
9300,no probs u asked to be retweeted  i am happy to oblige ,0.0
9301,patiently waiting for him to sweep me off of my feet  quotif only i could find youquot  its about that time again lol ,0.0
9302,frankincense and mhyrr can improve your mental and physical health,0.0
9303,my birthday ,0.0
9304,i dont know if this is the right place to post deep down inside despite everything i feel wrong and out of place ive made efforts to be around other people but have never felt more alone more and more though ive realized that well the way i look at women is not in such a way where oh they are so hot but rather i think im jealous almost my girlfriend jokingly calls me her girlfriend because of some of my mannerisms and attitudes towards certain things it felt right to hear that though i am terrified about this feeling and with where i live and who ive met if i embraced this feeling i think id just look like a fool or be treated worse but others ive had moments sat around a table playing boardgames with friends where i just want to leave and hide myself i often wear multiple layers of clothes to hide my body and walk around with a blanket around me again i dont know if this is the right place to post this but this feeling has made me consider self harm again like seriously consider,3.0
9305,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
9306,cheer me up ive had a long ass fking day work and then come home to be met with a yelling childish mother someone i had plans with just canceled and my gaming buddy just basically said fk off to mecheer me up,3.0
9307,rt  birds gotta fly fish gotta swim cuomos gotta destroy new york i would expect nothing less from this sad excuse of a gov,2.0
9308,already landed and lost my dream job ive read a lot of posts here about struggling with your job the endless grind anxiety  fear of losing it  i landed an amazing job out of university it had so much going for it it was interesting fantastic boss  great coworkers paid enough for me etc flexible hours then after  years my role was downgraded to a part time casual capacity which i wasnt keen on and decided to find a new job the manager at my new job was a micromanaging bully the work was really physical and im scared ive permanently damaged my back and shoulders  i quit after one year with nothing lined up my mental health was at its worst  i moved cities in order to make the gap in my cv look natural  im currently working in a job similar to my first job  but with a high workload  high stress rude boss  rigid work hours  gossipy coworkers etc everything is manageableand i know theyre are worse situations  im grateful for what i have but i want more for myself than to just manage living  ive just finished applying for a job and i i feel  completely empty i feel so sure that i wont get a response and nothing will change it took all my energy to apply but i will likely stay in the same situation  im supposed to be progressing towards something but im stuck in the past pining for my first job i look back on the three years since i left and just feel so sad  has anybody ever lost their dream job any advice or positive stories would be extremely welcome right now,3.0
9309,got a bad headache ,2.0
9310,my dear friend alexaherrera is a litlle bit crazyy ,0.0
9311,chrisbrogan missing kitten hopefully it will come back ,2.0
9312,masurin nice to see you posting again  im sorry that its not on the happiest of topics though    how have you been  ,2.0
9313,nope  guess not today,2.0
9314,just got diagnosed with major depressive disorder by my therapist im not really sure how i feel about it or where it should go so im posting to this sub,3.0
9315,im so fucking tired im tired of going into work and having to act like i didnt just lay in bed eating ice cream all day and like im not wearing clothes i havent washed in  weeks and im tired of my own fucking brain being out to get me everyone at work thinks youre gross and doesnt like you all of your friends think youre annoying and dont like you your boyfriend is only using you sometimes it feels like i cant even tell my depressive thoughts from my own like i can never really tell if a feeling is mine or if its my illnessi just want stability to actually feel at home in myself and not feel like im constantly under attack i sleep during my free time because it shuts my brain up but then i feel pathetic sleeping all day and it becomes a fucking cyclei just hope i can deal with this bullshit im in therapy im considering medication i just want to be a normal fucking person again at least im lucky enough that i can work towards that if you have any sort of success story i would be grateful to hear it ,3.0
9316,today made me start to question did i fully overcome my depression,2.0
9317, pimms and undercooked burnt meat heaven ,0.0
9318,timkelleher reminds me of that dyslexics of the world untie joke ,0.0
9319,gonzales is rocking the melodica  gonzpiration   world record attempt in paris live gt ,0.0
9320,rochellewiseman picture picture picture ,0.0
9321,and the iphone still isnt available in nd  son says quotwont happenquot ,2.0
9322,gusandpenny bored by your owners send them for a short vacation to nuertingen southern germany ,0.0
9323,new account no karma im invisible and depressed  cant even post on certain topics in certain subs i really want to talk about since i have no karma you guys will probably not see this either smh,3.0
9324, awwwwthanks for the hitu have a great wkend as well ,0.0
9325, get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
9326,nodirectionhome biglots by my house has jesus amp virgin mary rings in one of those machines i rocked one for a while til that shit broke ,2.0
9327,love this movie might need to go watch it again jonhurwitz if only you had done something more with your career a httpstcozsdimphvrq,2.0
9328,caimommy they askedlol i love doing laundry  ,0.0
9329,not enough the only feeling i have ist that im not enough i dont love enough im not loved enough i dont drink enough to go to aa im not in enough pain to see a doctor im not intelligent enough but im not dumn enough my body is not hot enough but not ugly enough i dont want to life anymore but not enough to kill myself its hard to be not enough i dont want to be not enough i want to be enough  but i dont know how,3.0
9330,choiceaustralia   nice floor boards ,0.0
9331,noo the pic of rafal van der vaart came out all blurry ,2.0
9332,lol james cameron is cute you can tell he really loves his game avatar ,0.0
9333,i dont know what happened and i suddenly got sad of the tweets im seeing right now sending my deep condolences t ,1.0
9334,thinks its cool that their are followers from all over the world ,0.0
9335,darrenruane wow the life of a scientist it would be great if you could do research about pancakes in the sun ,0.0
9336,atiiqaax not sure  its on til like  this show  or more erm probs like  i cant sa sorr babgirl l im happ too,0.0
9337,why is life soooooo full of stress omg so much to do very little time to do it in ,2.0
9338,jamesalexandrou same here in oz i had an apology yesterday but questioned was it enough for their cock up and my loss of money ,2.0
9339,mcarenas it might be available from your network there in hk i just saw your tweet when i went online now ,0.0
9340,day after the double football season over warm and sunny summer has arrived ,0.0
9341,ummmstacy second rowyoure so luckyyoull be so close to markamptomamptravis  take some pics there,0.0
9342,bombkid thanks a bunch ,0.0
9343,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
9344,pjakobs you asked what would we do without coffee thus my responce would be to drink tea ,0.0
9345,i got lots of belly love at the lafaves from katelynkat tarawaffle freckledblonde cclafave and chloe cant wait to meet them ,0.0
9346,jayvirdy quite welcome  ill try to keep the weather dream alive,0.0
9347,and todays message by ps daniel ho is good challenges facing the church in malaysia read it up  httpellyeleeblogspotcom  ,0.0
9348,sad,0.0
9349,fearnecotton great show today   listened to it as i revisedd and motivated me   finished the show with the bestest song atm x,0.0
9350,splinkyg tayler hurt her knee again  may need surgery after summer but going to see some specialists in los angeles while im there,2.0
9351,a bit of emptiness i have been suffering from depression for twenty years almost two thirds of my life    this current bout is the consistently worst i have known not just in terms of how deep it has gone but what i have lostnot just talking about the relationship which will be a source of regret for a long time yet but my sense of self i no longer know who i am what i care about what motivates me its all become quite empty vanished gone the experience is something i am struggling to explain or understandits certainly making existence much harder i need to find a way out of this somehow,3.0
9352,fuck its actually done took   nortriptyline cant believe this is how it ends i wish i did everything differently ,3.0
9353,finally in hespera gonna partyyyyyy like theres no tomorrow  hey we only get to live once ,0.0
9354, waking up in vegas after bali and vanuatu then plastic surgery with katherine and jared then barcelona with jesse ,0.0
9355,  anyone know how to make my internet realize were not in japan anymore i cant read japanese ,2.0
9356,bitterchris i played the demo and i was not having fun  i dunno    looks like it could be fun though,2.0
9357,omg bad day court worst place ever and went to downtown pleasonton  and the court gave me  hours community service ,2.0
9358,a shit jimmie johnson won  not tht i hate him but i dunt really like him,2.0
9359,whats  of ur favorite words please talk to me my fave word is spiffy i just love saying it you look so spiffy ,0.0
9360,pushplaycj bought mine  hours ago  second ever jac vanek bracelet woohoo,0.0
9361,laurenlgreen thanks for sure lunch love you too and michaelram thanks ,0.0
9362,es in the morning   night everyone,0.0
9363,enjoying the new found peace and freedom after a  year long war ,0.0
9364,im down heartbreakv waitin on uhaha but im still mad  my wii is gone,2.0
9365,niknice haha thanks i have  million nicknames so  more is cool with me ,0.0
9366,rt  stress is a disconnect from our inner peace a forgetting of our own breathbreathe,1.0
9367,still no graze box yet ,2.0
9368,rt liberteebelle badasskittyg freekatoandkleo ezekielelliott a very sad story their fate has been upheld for too long the judges f,1.0
9369, its making it a real bugger replying to tweets ,2.0
9370,chelseamarie its stooopid ,2.0
9371,amazing responses to the mac ram question thankyou all general consensus is crucial therefore ive just purchased two sticks  cheers,0.0
9372,cursing the friend who pitched up at mine at  with alcohol have an unshiftable hangover today amp the prospect of another on top ,2.0
9373,what are reasons to not kill yourself im sorry if i trigger anyone im just having a hard time finding reasons to stick around we all were forced into this world to live day to day until one mysterious day when we die meanwhile we are stuck watching most of the ones we care about die people say it is selfish to kill yourself it is also selfish to keep someone here that cant handle existing anymorei need advice on why we should stay,3.0
9374,madamecupcake whats wrong ,2.0
9375,deannakicksass mahal la watch both hehe ya man jem is damn old school i missss ,0.0
9376,discoverhawaii nice  id like to feature this on somuchmorehawaiicom if thats ok with you ,0.0
9377,mapleworld im glad that all those hackers and others are gone because i was hacked a few times ,2.0
9378,bc i hope you at least have some hot sauce and some  ,0.0
9379,moving is hard so my brother got a job  hours away and asked my mom to come with him so i moved  miles away from my friends and now i just feel so empty,3.0
9380,marcelolynch little miss sunshine es genial ,0.0
9381,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
9382,itbemackenzie i have to be in bed since im getting up early  ,2.0
9383,taschiyork aw whats wrong with pea and ham ,2.0
9384,tracybalacy twitting and driving doesnt work well careful out there ,0.0
9385,hoodenershorse getting better was really swollen yesterday had it wrapped in ice for a few hours  still a bit swollen and bruised,2.0
9386,i miss home ,2.0
9387,hollyhuddleston wenevr i read a book i get to distracted i cant get comfortable wen i read always movin aroundd so stressfulll ,2.0
9388,meeshlynnecount in the global citizens plaza the flags waving in the cold air warm water just perfect for a sneak attack lol ,0.0
9389,chillin and not feelin so good ,2.0
9390,yunjae yupz  i was one of those girls who rushed to the stage originally our seats were at the  row lol,0.0
9391,asosnat i think so  im gonna be touristing tomorrow raining on my parade,2.0
9392,ddlovato i love that movie so sad ,2.0
9393,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
9394,mileycyrus congrats i knew youd win  ps you are so lucky to hug lil wayne,0.0
9395,i dont know how to function anymore i wish i have a valid reason for being depressed so when people ask they will understand but i dont and they will never understand,3.0
9396,geekgirldiva the more sleep i get the more i want ,0.0
9397,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
9398,maxcelcat domain   so they get gmail powered email ,0.0
9399,bigkrunch lol i miss u too krunch ,0.0
9400,mrskutcher spelled your name wrong  how could that happen  i hope you still get the message through aplusk ,0.0
9401,sidecarowl i didnt have anything impressive to wear anyway ,0.0
9402,rt gefseniors lucky to have the primrosepfrc located at ottewell visits between the kids amp seniors affect mental amp physical hea ,1.0
9403,dear stress lets break up ,2.0
9404,jconpoet lol thanks ,0.0
9405, its britney spears vid bot  with a picture of a lady looking at a penis  couldnt sheheit be more creative,2.0
9406,hmgarrison if you dont mind me asking you again do you know where i can find a simple nude patch ,2.0
9407,rt therickwilson this todd kincannon story is amazzzzing and horrifying also he needs to spend a long time closely supervised in an,2.0
9408,jessica is gonna beb  you make me lolgasm,0.0
9409,it surprises me that in a country where suicides and depression are daily occurrences studies in the humanities are still underfunded,2.0
9410,suzywelch  wkrc   thanks for the conversation  was a great interview,0.0
9411,rt centreyouthlit some adults dont think ya authors should write about depression and suicide but i get letters daily from teens  jen,2.0
9412,i get ugly anxiety and cant breathe i hate feeling like thi s i just want my mind to be calm,1.0
9413,cant sleep again this sux soooo tired but cant shut brain off  need cuddlez p,2.0
9414,took the kids to school in the pouring rain this morning this is my favourite kind of school run i can put on my husbands enormous coat that comes down to my knees and has a huge hood i feel almost completely hidden inside it i dont have to do my hair or even get dressed properly i huddle down against the rain until im bent almost double and i cant see past the circumference of my own feet and nobody tries to interact with me because they are all doing the same thing i can almost pretend that im the only person in town i hate winter but i do like the way i can hide beneath the bad weather ,3.0
9415,listening music  as always,0.0
9416,elsssa haha thank u  times again ,0.0
9417,working in the english lab ,2.0
9418,getting used to it ive been feeling like this ever since i was a teenager i feel horrible all the time nothing excites me i wakeup every day and try to put a smile on my face just so my coworkers dont ask the is everything allright that gets on my nerves because i know they dont care they just want the no everythings fine so that they continue with their day putting on that smile is the hardest thing i have to do after a long day at the office i just want to go home and be alone avoiding close friends and relative i tried talking to some friends about what im going through but they never take it seriously and say that everyone gets sad for a while ive gotten so used to being alone and i hate that i have my up moments where i make plans to go out with friends and see people but i always bail at the last moment because it all feels too much and i get back to doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself i hate the fact that i am getting used to feeling like this where i have become completely desensitized towards anything arround me and i am getting comfortable with being miserable all the time,3.0
9419,think im having a mental breakdown its  university decided to make me do a  minute presentation in  days i have severe extreme unimaginable anxiety clearly i cant do the presentation i want to drop out of uni but i cant do it now because my mum will think its because of the presentation it is i cant present for shit i need to get xanax or anything i dont know what the fuck im going to doi cant call any of the helplines because of my anxiety and there are no alternatives every single fucking time i search mental health crisis it gives me a new number to call which is exactly my problemim not normally this agitated  cunt sounding at all its just i genuinely think im having some kind of mental breakdown,3.0
9420,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
9421,rt lifeaseva if i had a dollar for every time i open up to someone about my anxiety and they go oh yeah i totally get nervous s ,1.0
9422,getting depressed again im getting depressed after almost  months nothing really changed which means nothing i guessfor me the worst part is i just want someone to talk to about why i feel this way which i dont even know problem is i dont really know anybody and the few i do were not that kind of friendsi tend to be the one people come to when they need help i act grounded and like a wall im sure many of you know the charade last person i tried to talk to about how i feel told me to grow some that i dont have it bad which i guess is true but then that would make sensesoi just wish i could actually talk to people about how i feel without people judging me which i usually dont even care about but againthat would make too much sense i dont know where i was going so ill just leave now,3.0
9423,rt betseyross this poor man is seriously demented its hilarious but also really sad that billkristol has sunk so low what a nutjob he,1.0
9424,xandh i aint done voa but i should be there next week if we do it then ,0.0
9425,rt curationsuite book that could change your life getting things done the art of stressfree productivity  ,1.0
9426,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
9427,webpilots skitch looks interesting will check it out thanks for the info ,0.0
9428,enjoyed his night out but it isnt the same ,2.0
9429,im hungryyyy   need more sushi,2.0
9430,whats with the crappy weather ,2.0
9431,amberwhiting ruin the moment then ,2.0
9432,dont remember installing phpmyadmin on this dev machine but happy to type hostphpmyadmin amp find it there  didnt use xampp senility,0.0
9433,inaperfectworld i could have icecream anytime amp not have to worry about infected throats  oh and indisposable cash to buy the icecream,2.0
9434,rt thelastpaaige fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itselfsuicide is a terrible beasti know your head can be a sca,2.0
9435,flashpunk it didnt inform me of this change ,2.0
9436,there are still too many books that romanticize depression suicide and selfharm  jenniferniven yamatters,1.0
9437, np i think most teams have a twitter account so happy hunting ,0.0
9438,gtthesrp ,2.0
9439,crystal  charles  red x profile pic tried jpg png undr  and still red x can you please fix this issue  appreciate that ,0.0
9440,i just watched the season finale of the office it made me happy ahh i loved it haha ,0.0
9441,very down today ,2.0
9442,while tyler wants to stress how much time scottie spends w brett this week scottie is finding the perfect balance ,1.0
9443,speechless  still in the  period ,0.0
9444,am i bipolar what is bipolar ive been thinking of this lately i go from  real quick i can go from happy to angry to sad in a matter of moments if something gets at me in addition to my existing anxiety and depression what would be some classifying symptoms that can be more accurately attributed to being bipolar,3.0
9445,night yall see ya tomorrow ,0.0
9446,shut the fuck up melanoma ,2.0
9447, the past  months for me have been a roller coaster being bullied at work losing loved ones and unemployed for months ill admit i am lucky to have a wife a supportive family and some close friends but i dont always let them all in tonight alone in this room while the wife was away these were my real feelings if just one person reads this and it helps thats all i want whats inside  originalemotions feelings and joy stamped outas dark as the room when the candles blown outonly you really know what this feelings aboutno words no pain no reason to shoutthis invisible monster is winning this heavyweight boutis this whats on the insidetraveling circles around the sundown every road everything youve built is undonewhen you look at yourself you want to turn and runno light no hope no desire for funas you look down the opening of the loaded gun is this whats on the insidefriends seemingly come and they gowhats wrong with you youll never quite knowwake up sit at my desk with a monster who makes me feel so lowasking myself why is this death so slowis this whats on the insidethat envelope marked with pain and strifewhat to do with that sharpedged knifeinside the envelope a letter written from your wifeweve had our troubles but im inviting you to live your best lifethere is always doubtthere is always shamethe battle inside is a constant painbut with loved ones around you when you let them indepression can be a battle lost but a war we win,3.0
9448,emiliess ,2.0
9449,some people are just on another level im in grad school and today in class we were talking about goal setting and how just doing your best isnt good enough you have to make your goals difficult and thats how you improve ive come a long way in my mental health to the point where just doing my best is a win so to sit there and listen to my teacher and classmates go on and on about setting goals and learning from failure was almost impossible the teacher said you should fail to meet your goals  of the time and my classmates seemed to agree these people are just on another level i cant set myself up for failure like that without having a breakdown im in really rough shape tonight just being reminded im still so broken compared to my peersmy mantra to help me in my lowest lows is to remind myself that its ok to just do my best sometimes just feeding myself that day was doing my best and now ive been told thats not good enough and normally id be ok with that but its highlighting the fact that ill never compare to my peers ive come so far but its never going to be good enough because these people are just on another fucking level yesterday doing my best meant not driving over the cliff on my to work in that one spot where the road curves right and the guard rail is broken today it means faking my way through  hours of class hoping no one realizes i dont belong there while knowing i have to go back again tomorrow for another  hours  it has to be ok for me to just do my best,3.0
9450,rt  u ever been sad and happy at the same time this me everyday,1.0
9451,has anything ever worked for anyone out of all of the years of selfhelp books therapy seminars bootcamps etc etc etc nothings worked its been expensive in time and money has anyone else felt this way has anyone else known some one with severe depression and abandonment issues who became legitimately happy or at least contenti havent seen it and its getting increasingly difficult to believe any advice at this point in my life going to the gym and lifting weights to build my muscles up is difficult enough for me to believe these days and not only is there plenty of evidence that this is true inside of any gym but i also used to be pretty muscular myselfi guess what im saying is that ive lost faith not suicidal but the thought of deaths release is comforting from time to time has anyone come out of this before,3.0
9452,unsect thats beautiful ,0.0
9453,day  because fuck my family fuck my supposedly caring gf of  years all of them for not noticing my most important day of my lifeive already cut myself up like a piece a paper and you fucking know what it feels absolutely fucking amazing a m a z i n gyear down the drain but i really dgaf,3.0
9454,wow i havent been on in  days sorry followers i have returned from california and ready to start tweeting again ,0.0
9455,drivers with mental health problems to get blue badge parking permits – metro httpstcouquqnyzhle,2.0
9456,wdw west side pucks no longer serves rosmary chic or pot roast just pizza amp salads all carbs another fav lunch place gone ,2.0
9457,shaunjumpnow happy birthday ,0.0
9458,thereaper aaaargh io lo matoo jaja pfff q suerte q vives ai io odio vivir aqi ,2.0
9459,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
9460,  check that our ,0.0
9461, omj bb thought u were avoiding twitter so u dont get any spoilers ,0.0
9462,i actually feel really stupid ,2.0
9463,will a person with depression know heshe has depression i always think that someone with mental illness will not know that they have mental illness i am wondering if that applies for depression,3.0
9464,going to the zoooo   then homework later  boooo ,0.0
9465,i think watching from the beginning has made me love them moar well like i used to   ,0.0
9466,pandaamonia sure whats wrong  are you on msn im not bothered to log in to check,2.0
9467,brush your teeth twice a day  when u wake up and before you sleep at least do once baba for the sake of others ,0.0
9468,mrgooglealerts you probably saw my tweet  hours ago and  you followed me thanks ,0.0
9469,i was doing okay and like not doing the things i did when i was more depressed i guess and then the past few days im like spiraling back into that hole and i dont wanna do this again like im back to not feeling like doing anything i sleep for over half the day and im barely eating again and these are like the things id do when i was really not doing well and the fact that im doing them again like scares me bc i dont wanna be in that hole again but i already feel myself falling and i dont know what to do anymore ,3.0
9470,i hate being here i want to leave im ready to be done with this i dont know where else to go to get these words out im so sick of burdening my loved ones with these feelings im so sick of them saying things will get better they havent and its been so long now that every time i hear that it feels like a lieim too much of a coward to take my own life it would hurt my family too much it would destroy them im not just being narcissistic im the only child in the whole family if something happened to me i have no doubt in my mind that my mother would kill herself so im stuck here they wont let me leave and i cant let myself leave either i just hate feeling this way so much im ready to go ive been here long enough ,3.0
9471,oncewaslilo congrats sis  yea my beer belly grows daily ,2.0
9472,ready to murder my tvi hate digital ,2.0
9473,nikldesigns hey honyeahblah not feeling well  head cold i guessmy face is killing me,2.0
9474,i want to get away from everything and everyone and start fresh my current situation is depressing im a  year old female who still lives at home with parents my current relationship with my boyfriend is not going to well at the moment neither of us is really trying to make the relationship work we work crazy opposite schedules my job is decent and i make good money for the most part but i dont see my job lasting for the long run i just graduated with bachelors degree after  long years i want to move but my dad has bad habit of making me guilty whenever i say i want to move out he tells me that if i moved out of the house i would abandoning my family and im a bad daughter for thinking about moving out i help out with most bills of the house so im not slacker,3.0
9475,hate my saunalike room a heat that is impossible to escape also why do i have no post  kicks brunel,2.0
9476,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
9477,all of a sudden im not happy anymore   dont you all hate being super happy and then blah i do,2.0
9478, really depressing sad quotes about life and love ,2.0
9479,just read it sunshine surrounds mea hazy silence but a distant soundthis is the everyday that i have come to knowmy silence is sometimes broken but not on purposei forgive and forget easilyits cold inside and out but well hiddenall they know is the sunshine,3.0
9480,zzzzz no more ,2.0
9481,i realized something about myself recently ive been happy recently to the point where i thought for a time i was alright ive been in a relationship for  months  as of the  and i realized something about myself im not okay my relationship is perfect beautiful smart talented girlfriend however recently something has come up my school had a rumor spread that a new kid was going to try to shoot up the school i told myself the night before it would have happened if i die tomorrow im dying trying to stop them this thought has plagued me ever since i want to die with honor not stuck in a hospital bed or oding on some drugs i would join the military but im not of age and im not physically built for that i want my death to mark the end of all death i want to be the one who can sacrifice myself to save my girlfriend my friends and my family,3.0
9482,   absolutely gorgeous ,0.0
9483,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
9484,idk i dont think this is ever gonna go away tbh ive been depressed for years now and ive tried everything to be happy but nothing works therapy does not work at all honestly my motivation is kind of gone rn i already fucked up my life anyway im  and ive used so many different drugs and i have scars all over my arms the weather is starting to get warm again which means im gonna be fucking dying with long sleeves this is gonna be my  summer with scars and its so so so shitty i just wish i never did that im stupid af for doing that and the drugs it probably doesnt even matter im not gonna kill myself anyway idk maybe i deserve it,3.0
9485,i truly believe fluoxetine saved me been on it since january  my health insurance wont cover any psychiatric consultation andor therapy so i spent a considerable amount of money to help myself it numbed me at first but i noticed that the longer i take it my way of processing thoughts just changed i do not take anything and everything to heart anymore my concentration has improved a little bit and i no longer feel a deep abyss sucking me in a week before my period even now when the person i used to love just got married with someone else yes i cried but i think id actually cut myself if it werent for the med its truly a godsend also fuck everyone who suggested prayers it did nothing for me except maybe a bit of stretching,3.0
9486,gp appointment help how do i go about getting help always read and been told to set up an appointment with my gp but ive never made my own appointment so i dont really know how or what to do also does anyone that has been through a gp appointment about depression have any tips or advice im really scared about actually getting helpthank you ,3.0
9487,ever feel bad for liking someone because you never be hot enough good enough to be with them anywayto even thinking about talking to them or swiping right on tinder because you think you have a chance,3.0
9488,deleting someone from my life once and for all  oh the pain ,2.0
9489,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
9490,u know what sucks hoyt guys who are gay fe neil patrick harris ugh looovve him ,2.0
9491,trying to figure this twitter thing out think i will stick to facebook ,0.0
9492,we were going to have a rehearsal today  but lots of folks have showed up  will rehearse for a bit  then jam  fun evening ahead ,0.0
9493,hardly slept yesterday just about  hrs in the morning had to format my comp and install xp again ,2.0
9494,scared to tell my girlfriend about my depression i dont really know what to do im just scared she wont like me if i mention i deal with it since guys are usually expected to be mentally tough shes dealt with mental health issues before and weve talked about it so i know shes super open minded about this stuff but i just worry itll be a sub conscious thing    im just scared because i like her a lot shes my first real girlfriend and i want to be with her long term its been a few months but im scared since i dont know how to do it or what the appropriate time would even be if any of you have come out about this before please tell me how it went,3.0
9495,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
9496,ive managed to fuck up everthing good going for me i had made a new friend these last couple of weeks who was a huge support  she was a door to sanity during a time of deep depression what i didnt know is that i was emotionally draining her and torturing her emotionally and ended our friendship i had started to really care for this person and i fucked it up and she wont forgive me  i wont say im a good person but the fact that im doing it unintentionally is whats killing me i was simply made to be alone and only torture myself with my shitty wierd loner personality                  sorry for being melodramatic i just wanted to tell someone and i dont have anyone to talk to,3.0
9497,have been sick with possibly strep for over a week and the sewing machine had to go in the shop ,2.0
9498, most women are just typical and crazy youre ahead of the curve ,0.0
9499,blogofinnocence finally managed to reach your sites they are huge finds to me today thx  using social technology ,0.0
9500,showerrrampamp newport for the wholee dayyy w familyyy  fun fuunnn,0.0
9501,sitting in coffee shop getting caught up on everything i put on the back burner including time to just relax  happy saturday to all,0.0
9502,hedmannn haha we have to chill more often youre sick funny ,0.0
9503,feels like my depression got a lot worse lately ive been depressed for some time now  years at least even though at the beginning i only thought i was lazy which turned out not to be the case i had almost all the depression symptoms there were but last week or so ive been feeling particularly down instead of mood swings i just dont feel like doing shit at all instead of coming home and playing games i dont do shit all day havent played anything and my day is just gone music provided me with small sparks of joy every once in a while but now i feel sick of it completely i cant talk at all anymore i cant eat i cant sleep and i generally feel extremely down instead of just empty and numb like it was for a while all of this for no particular reason and i dont know for how long i will be able to take this,3.0
9504,i have absolutely nothing left to live for i am not capable of making any of the changes i need to move forward but those around me only seek to bury me further my mom stole my savings  from me maybe  from her that i had for a car without a car i cant work extremely limited public transport in my area and without a job i cant afford medicine to keep me functional i have incredibly debilitating adhd and no insurance i am no human before treatment just a wasteful leech i use heavy amounts of marijuana to cope with my inability to live but it doesnt truly help i have no friends and my mom isnt the worst in my family i am bruised and scarred from the abuse i have taken over the years and i can only go down this coronavirus thing has gotten me thinking maybe i should try to get it try to die then its what i want its what i need,3.0
9505,ive been sleeping so much lately getting really depressed again today i woke up at  i took a sleep medicine last night because ive been having trouble going to bed last week i thought i was getting better and that i was finally starting to feel like myself again but it feels like all that is gone and ive somehow ruined it what should i do ,3.0
9506,my teeth hurt  i wish the sun would work for just one day,2.0
9507, no school  just great sleep late and then have a litte bit fun in doing some mindless things  can´t wait for ,0.0
9508,just smashed my perfume all over the bathroom floor ,2.0
9509,for anybody contemplating suicide believe in life be it beauty or be it bullshit your head is no place for a bullet stoned guy i met on xbox live,3.0
9510,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs — dr joseph mercola mercola june  ,1.0
9511,rt gailmackean do you have lived experience of depression  please complete this survey http,2.0
9512,babasfarmlife  run virus program and malwarebytes ,0.0
9513,philip fix the cable ,0.0
9514,im  minutes early fingers crossed for me please ,0.0
9515,nashville was wonderful pa sucks ,2.0
9516,human body needs too damn much you need water minerals vitamins a shelter clothing exercise social interactions and it requires money to get those necessities so you gotta get a job to fuss with i mean the point is not the money part but you know theres too much hassle just to barely keep you alive i want to quit thisrn im more frustrated than when my depression was a more serious shit and had several suicide attempts the phrase keep going just makes me feel lost,3.0
9517,i just had a corneto and i am possibly the happiest person in this world ,0.0
9518,laughing at myself i loaded up this page to make a big post about all the shit im feeling but now that im actually here i dont even see the point l m a o ,3.0
9519,thank you local radio for playing dcs permanent ,0.0
9520,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
9521,tjrobinson thanks for coming along ,0.0
9522,reading   emma   ,0.0
9523,  clean me,2.0
9524,danfromyips hey i can help you with that if you would be interested plz shoot me a pm ,0.0
9525,the mac is fricking slow today ,2.0
9526,reocasey my first threadless purchase  and     ,0.0
9527,benstiller thats smashing newsyou crack me uplove your humourchip off the old blockyoohoo and gluegle for you ,0.0
9528,says ya ampun belom belajar buat besok to  ,2.0
9529,rt  can my depression leave me the fuck alone,2.0
9530,skypen and if he is paid but not declaring it eww ,2.0
9531,im sick  i have a sore throat blocked nose and a throat full of phlegm yum,2.0
9532,kseils me too im resorting to the dinner of champions ,2.0
9533,athanaelucev me too ,2.0
9534,is about a minute away but stuck in traffic i hope he didnt come on yet ,2.0
9535,carolynpeck have fun  i look forward to the tweets  ,0.0
9536,i am missing my moccasins ,2.0
9537,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
9538,for those wondering crunchy is off twitter  he was like  yeahno  i might b right bhind him ,2.0
9539,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
9540,so sad cant see hey monday and stereo skyline tonight ,2.0
9541,weeee no prax tonight gonna watch boys over flower news may bukas pa only you tayong dalawa and  litter of tears ,0.0
9542,im off to visit my poorly mum today a week til she has to have an op to make her eye socket larger poor mum ,2.0
9543,omg just crashed my step dads car never happened to me before ever feel bad ,2.0
9544,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
9545,chicken didnt defrost after  hours stupid fridgetrying to soak in warm water now but dinner is delayed ,2.0
9546,jonathanrknight you know your crackberry wont work on the arc right   hope you are getting some sleep night  vampire jonathan ,0.0
9547,rt mercola here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs ,1.0
9548,youre not alone ,1.0
9549,anxiety is not prophetic  beating trauma httpstcouanmialquq,2.0
9550,how do i move forward ive grown up in a middle class family i can comfortably go to graduate school full time while i rack up debt and know that i can get at least a decent enough job to eventually pay it off but i feel soshitty every time i look at myself i see a joke a failure someone who cant stand toe to toe with his friends someone who cant possibly speak without stuttering someone who cant concentrate before his negative thoughts consume him someone wholl perhaps always feel and be alone because hes not someone anyone would want to be around someone who has no talents or skills or anything worthwhile to give someone who perhaps shouldnt have ever existedwhen i was younger i was bullied pretty roughly and well even then amongst friends while im sure they never meant any harm did often make jokes at my expense even my own parents just didnt take my bullying all that seriously and at least with my dad he has said some incredibly hurtful things to boot like im a joke and that im not doing anything right even when the bullying ended i never felt whole i saw everyone else around me make friends and serious relationships whereas i always hung around the outskirts making acquaintances at best i justdidnt know how to integrate myself with my peers i didnt and even now dont know whats wrong with me i just want to feel happy with myself and who i am while moving forward and perhaps meeting a significant other,3.0
9551,bleugh i had toast and feel like boakin ,2.0
9552,how do you develop a sense of self if a tree is falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound  somewhere along my development i began to believe if something happens to you and no one else was around to see it did it matter and did it even really happen i dont know where i got into such a broken way of thinking but i cant seem to shake it its like codependency on crack and now there is no one left to lean on or distract myself with if anyone has felt similar or has advice id really appreciate it ,3.0
9553,icaninspire say hi to my aunty in filey all my relatives are in cyton bay and i miss them ,2.0
9554,isfan we have a huge family reunion  i wish i could i need a few clones jchutchins could you help,2.0
9555,babysitting super boredalex isnt coming back until tomorrow  ehh missing him,2.0
9556,weldeiry just curioussolid tumor service or quotliquidquot  hard day either way ,2.0
9557,  canalway cavalcade over in little venice near warwick avenue  on today too ,0.0
9558,aha finally one i can actually get yay for going to school for teaching ,0.0
9559,koolerbeans im planning to start reading new moon from the top hopefully ill finish reading it prior sa movie ,0.0
9560,staring blankly ahead hiso i  have suffered from depression and anxiety plus ptss but that has been well treated since i was  years old recently ive been experiencing a mild relapse but i realised that when im getting worse i just tend to stare blankly ahead so one moment im in the middle of a conversation the next moment i realise that ive been staring ahead into nothing this can be in combination with worrying and thinking but sometimes im not thinking about anything and my mind just goes blank i can kind of feel it in my eyes when it happens i lose focus does anybody else experience this or maybe have an explanation about what it could be im not sure if its useful to discuss with my psychologist,3.0
9561,maatyce you could always check out los angeles music academy ,0.0
9562,praises to windows powershell mimicking linux  now theres a good enough shell to play around with,0.0
9563,yoboseiyo heehee how did you know who i was talking about  ,0.0
9564,i was gonna do some filming today but its raining ,2.0
9565,dancing make me fresh  ,0.0
9566,making friends meeting new people or turning loneliness into solitude hey i was wondering if anyone in this community has tips or advice on how to meet new people i suffer from crushing loneliness and i wish i had just one friend i could exercise with or go to shows or play instruments or video games or do literally anything just looking for guidance on where anyone of you have found friends i hate coming home and spending everyday month after month alone with my thoughts please any advice would be helpful and immensely appreciated ,3.0
9567,its very disappointing that no ones ever mentioned me ,2.0
9568,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
9569,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
9570,fashionguru i cant twin  im live like iamdiddy right now lets go people positive energy send me some lol,2.0
9571,brandonheath oh no  im sorry,2.0
9572,wow i am so tired wish i could sleepin inbut i have school tomorrow ,2.0
9573,liquilife yeah except for those jack in the box taco nachos thats a good way to ruin your day before it gets started trust me ,0.0
9574,hi ho i ho its of to work i go ,2.0
9575,bleehh stupid bad habits i needa sleeep but i cant ,2.0
9576,rainbut hey it is saturday ,0.0
9577,i started my day being sad and now seeing the news makes me more sadder  i really feel like crying  i really hope hes okay😞,0.0
9578,looks like twitterlongercom is down  hopefully it will be back up later so i can post some funnies that are a bit longer,2.0
9579,indieeire got one disc left dont want to watch it cos then ill have finished the series  ,2.0
9580,doesnt know if shes ready to leave this life  ,2.0
9581,stevepurkiss i have trouble using mice now hand just doesnt understand why its being asked to heave the medieval device around ,0.0
9582,bgarnettlaw eek that was talking  me in the hall on thu i bet   amp thx when does comp finish not many entries,2.0
9583,if only she would let me fly on my own we would never have this problem this always is why i cant go to london shows ,2.0
9584,i am a prisoner of my own mind big and boring text below hi im  years old and i have depression or this sad thing  i dont know how to explain  inside me since ever i think since i was little at school i was shy as fuck never had many friends dont even think of girlfriends i was bullied several times people made fun of me and i  would just stayed quiet never told anyone not even my parents or brothers so you got the whole picture right  unfortunately in  i ended up dropping out of school due to the accumulated stress and anxiety i couldnt bear to go back there knowing that i had no one to talk to  a friend i guess  also there was a group of guys who made fun of me i just isolated myself my parents and i keep fighting they would sometimes push me against my will to just enter the school but i would cry and say no in the car diffifcult times but my relationship with them its better now now at  years old and im just not prepared for things that at my age are supossed to be normal  go to the grocery store ride the bus talk to a stranger or asking for something i always get nervous and its fucking sad and ridiculous im alone as hell just have my family and some virtual friends  who in recent times barely speak to me i dont have a single person not even  to call as a friend or classmate i have no one the only ones i know are some friends of my brother but i dont think they would call me a friend i work with my dad also im trying to recover those lost years at school   i entered a specie of media education or smth like that  but its hard to keep going to get motivation or even smile  along the years to stop thinking about my sad reality i often listen to music and start thinking and living stories in my head i take on characters be it from a series a movie and join in my story or other times i imagine living a parallel live to mine where i have friends girlfriend etc  its just crazy u must be thinking im a schizphrenic or stuff like that  i live in my own mind and cant help doing it i need to change but i dont know how im alone im a loser im a fucking loser,3.0
9585,for all the graduates today  congrats  whether its from junior high or high school of college youve ,0.0
9586,tomorrow ill begin fixing my sleep schedule  said by me  days ago  bloodshot owl eyes yet again,3.0
9587,i hate this sub like people pretending to care and going it will get better just be positive  there is so many times i wanted to comment really mean nasty crap i am over this sub and i hope it gets deleted because it never helped anyone i asked a real question and no loser on here has been able to give me an answer so you all lost,3.0
9588,help i need to talk to someoneim at my endim so sadive alienated everyone i lovehelp,3.0
9589,likegallows but i havent for a few days ,2.0
9590,no rush for me ,2.0
9591,scottfuller ughhdfkojdfklfadsj  im getting you a blackberry world that way you can call me every day,2.0
9592,i dont even know anymore im not sure if what im experiencing is depression i still laugh and im physically active i have dreams for the future to move out of the country and start over though i still have thoughts ive attempted suicide more then once and no one knows about any i forced myself to get sick for almost two years before getting caught i have no genuine friends and i always put myself down i cry at night silently because i have roommates my mother isnt a nice person and i dont want anything to do with her i blame her for the majority of my problems she would constantly tell me from a young age that shes sick of me and that shes going to kill herself because of me and that its my fault shell die she used to grab me by my face and claw my face though she still said she loved me then she would say she hated me she was back and forth with it and i felt like her love wasnt consistent this is why i struggle to trust peoples love i dont know anymore my latest suicide attempt was two days ago when i tried to hang myself i have a red mark on my neck now it sucks but im covering it up because its embarrassing i cant ask for help i have no one to ask or call my roommates wont listen im alone like i always was youd think id get used to it sometime,3.0
9593,no gym news jon and kate divorce rip ed mcmahon rip to lives lost on dc metro there needs to be some good news in the world ,2.0
9594,tiggrrfan you are right he is funny and insane ,0.0
9595,ugh i miss rimac i have to pay for the ballys here ,2.0
9596,tomplaskon no   asshole beat my record by a good  ,2.0
9597,hugh laurie on jonathan ross  im not a twitter person im more of a shush person ,0.0
9598,finished ch  taking girls to walmart to spend allowance hope to work on ch  this afternoon ,0.0
9599,for some reason i cant stop playing  its so much fun but no one else plays ,2.0
9600,rt madeleineanna whatever theresa may promises the last seven years of government is proof that mental health will never be a priority,1.0
9601, loss we played a good game considering there one of the best in the teir got a crazy slap shot of but of course it hit the post ,2.0
9602,my friend is talking to pau gasol right now  amp he thought his name was paul  excuse me scream into my pillow,2.0
9603,how can i talk to people about my depression i dont know how to open up im not really close with anyone,3.0
9604,richardwolak thanks so much for the tweet richard  ,0.0
9605,jamesallenuk i was disappointed not to see a picture of arnie ,0.0
9606,its all downhill from here ive suffered from depression since i was a kid shitty violent childhood i raised myself which means i lack so many things i know i have so much potential i know i deserve more but the world doesnt see it that way nothing is working out jobs friends physical health feeling supported and loved these things dont exist for me no matter how much effort ive put in ive tried so many anti depressants the side effects are terrible im on one right now and yet i truly believe that ending my life is the only way to get out of this  year hell any joy ive had anything exciting in my life or things im proud of are all one offs holding on to those thoughts and experiences to keep me going do not work at all actually it does the opposite it makes me believe ive peaked and there is only downhill from here nothing is cathartic anymore writing this doesnt make me feel relieved to get it out of my head i cant really cry anymore it gives me no relief i truly believe that every single thing is completely pointless why would i want to live another  years of absolute disappointment depression and struggling to live no one can know that things will get better its been  years if anything its all gotten worse,3.0
9607,life has always been worthless every since i was  i am unable to find any kind of true happiness which eventually leads to feeling extremely bad reaching the point of attempting a suicidei have been to  psychologists currently attending to one and a  psychiatrist but no matter my efforts there is never a way out from this hell not even after finally having a gf friends a better relationship with my family i can find a way to keep on fighting this shitty illnessi am once again reaching the point of facing my inner demons going against my little will to live and trying once and for all to not make people suffer by my mere existencethis is my first post in reddit and basically my last resort kinda just want to hear what you guys could make me think that may impact differently on how i see myselfeven though i have those ppl for me i do tend to fuck it up somehow making them want to leave me behind and go with their livesmy parents just told me yesterday to never step on their house again my gf and i just had a huge fight and basically the relationship is way to delicate my friends are great but i do have a big fear of fucking everything up againbasically i am almost a shutin the more time i could spend inside  walls the better just go outside to work and buy some food but not finding any kind of enjoyment in any i literally stopped eating a few days ago stopped playing vidya lifetime hobby and basically just spend every day working and sleepingsorry if something is not clear or whatever if more info is needed i´ll write it down,3.0
9608,yummy peanut butter and starbucks  what else,0.0
9609,oh so very sad ,2.0
9610, yeah thats right im  years into my training i love it congrats on  yrs ,0.0
9611,stomach ache suck ,2.0
9612,just feels damn homesick ,2.0
9613,fortworthdiva you be careful too  i dnt know what our heat index is here in sa but its supposed to be another triple digit day   ,2.0
9614,same all day everyday 🙃 ,1.0
9615,what a sucky friday night oh well better luck tomorrow ,0.0
9616,that awkward moment when you forget your knife in your car but youre too lazy to go get it so you have to wait til tomorrow to cut yourself,3.0
9617,not even able to walk anymore what is the point of life feeling like a disgusting excuse of a human being no one cares especially when youre disabled and you kind of need help then no one really fucking cares when you call your dad to ask if hell donate towards your wheelchair he tells you how stupid that is and how no one will want to give money to a stranger over the internet and how he certainly isnt gonna help when you ask your boyfriend if hes willing to share about the fundraiser on his fb page and he asks you to write the post for him and put it on his page so that he doesnt have to deal with it even though you were really hoping that your boyfriend future husband and love of your life would actually take the time out of his day to write something so loving and thoughtful about you to share with others so as to encourage them to give toward this wheelchair that you so desperately need but you know hes too tired and doesnt wanna deal with it its not like my mom said the same thing and had me write her post for her as wellit is just becoming more and more obvious to me that as a disabled person who can no longer walk ive become nothing but an absolute burden upon my friends and most especially my familytheyre just too tired to care i guess maybe they would be better off if i wasnt around anymore then they wouldnt have to take care of me and they could get all the rest and relaxation they need my exs would delight in knowing that i crumbled and failed and theyll get their custody and their pride by knowing they were right about me all along,3.0
9618,i wish my stepbrother would get paid sooner than fridaythen he could pay me and i could go buy my lovely acer aspire one netbook ,0.0
9619,my eyes are burning ,2.0
9620, hours to get  followers or no prize get everyone to follow me people cummon guys try try try ,0.0
9621,i just found out i might have cancer im sortve just in disbelief im barely holding on by a thread already and then this drops on me i dont know how to bring this up to anyone i dont even feel negatively towards it maybe im in shock i just feel like this is how my story ends,3.0
9622,  yeah  im so bummed ,2.0
9623,vicariousills fab  it is buzz number   yay for pooch divilry,0.0
9624,dctannerho yes cash cash is an amazing band ,0.0
9625,treatment resistant has anyone else tried ketamine treatment for treatment resistant depression i have some questions about my experience with it,3.0
9626,not even noon yet and its  degrees    got my cake but forgot the ice creamnot sure what to do for dinner tomorrow either,2.0
9627,suicidal toughs hi lately ive been having these suicidal toughs due the abyssal life im living right now i have a degenerative deseace which i cant affort the treatment i am a immigrant who ran from his country due the dictatorial state i dont a job i cant find one due my illness and my nationality i am here with my mother who came because he has a very dangerous decease whos killing her slowly i have to see my mother deteriorate without being able to do anything to help her the only thing i can do to help is my current job which is illustrator but i havent received a commission since a month month and a half ago i dont know what to do every day is a ceaseless abyss of pain and i just want to rest from that the only bright thing i have is my mother and a friend i have on puerto rico but it seems not to be enough,3.0
9628,watching tremors ,0.0
9629,unlovable love is the only thing that worth living for i am a firm believer in that what kills me is the feeling that i have nobody who genuinely loves me or cares wether i live or die its heartbreaking my whole life i took pride in being a loyal person and every person i was loyal too with the exception of a  or  eventually stabbed me in the heart my mother could care less about me its a shame my father i use to think loved me but in the end he just used me as a tool to hurt my mother in their divorce it fucked me up so bad later on in life im suicidal right now im  years old and ive lived a rocky road from the jump the happiest i ever was in my life was when i found a woman that was lonely on the inside like me we were perfect for each other and i loved and cared for her so much i never felt the love of another like i felt with her its all over now and ive slipped into a deep depression one where im letting myself go because i dont care to live anymore its such a cold dark lonely world i live in im the type of person that could care less about myself but id go a mile outta my way to help others im just a heart broken man with nobody to love or care for also got nobody that loves or cares for me im useless to the world and id be better off dead im sticking around a little longer i got one thing left worth living for ,3.0
9630,i hate this stupid hat ,2.0
9631,i just spent like a half hour re laceing my shoes and they look purty ,0.0
9632,i wish i wish this collar that has me trapped here would just turn into a noose already,3.0
9633,hsbc not working again ,2.0
9634,i just wont talk apparently me having ptsd is too depressing for my friends because i cant forget what happened to me of course i cant i was bullied all throughout my life and abused by my ex boyfriend for  years because im attempting to talk about it to relieve some stress and depression i drudged up memories from their past so they dont want me talking about minemy boyfriend wishes there was something he could do to help me because hes tried the you need to just forget advice because thats what he does but i lack the capabilityso with that said im not gonna talk to my friends anymore about it ill keep my mouth shut and pretend everything is just fine either i somehow fix myself or i use my last resort money who knows,3.0
9635,iambenj i know im loving it really should go catch some zzs but cant pull myself away ,0.0
9636,juliarygaard thanks prolly cancel may  marathon ,2.0
9637,in freeport no phone service ohh ,2.0
9638,feeling sorry for myself i guess i was wrong i thought i was just lazy this whole time turns out ive always had depression for about  years now everything has always been so mundane and boring i just didnt know why that just makes me feel even more like shit the negative self talk in my head is beyond unbearable right now i thought therapy was supposed to be helping i just thought id leave this here idk what for its not like this is doing anything i hate everything i do bye,3.0
9639,i woke up from a depression nap and wished i didnt anyone else feel like that today,3.0
9640,kcarruthers its my first chocolate since livelocal  how long did you last ,0.0
9641,isnt is sooooo cute how couples start to look alike after being together for so long ,2.0
9642,treecold ,0.0
9643,jst watched big brother from last night hahaha was funny wen them special forces ppl barged in i wuda bn scared now to revise   xx,2.0
9644,holy shit i updated it after literal months jfjsjdkskjdjd implied suicide character death nothing too bad but ev ,2.0
9645,i think new moon should come out like tomorrrow ,0.0
9646,nothing like working with livekick peeps in oakland brooklyn tel aviv and nyc online all weekend long  thank good for gdocsmailtalk,0.0
9647,missing out on joshs margarita sunday funday w prive originals  workin a  shift amp doin accounting hw  the same time,2.0
9648,gracelcfc i do tooooooooooooooooo ,2.0
9649,ladyliciousk lol noooo i just thought u were being todali random  ilike,0.0
9650,waiting for my beautiful taxi driver  then hittin the streets and chill out with some friends power to the people,0.0
9651,dinner with the family then some chill time ,0.0
9652,hey deangeloredman sing our anthem   deangeloredman live gt ,0.0
9653,kratochvil thank jobs for the iphone ,0.0
9654,guess ill have to shove it all back in again ,0.0
9655,flooded thoughts of death i appologize in advance for this rambling mess lately i cant stop thinking about death im strangely comforted by it its more passive suicidal ideation so i dont plan on acting on it i have a stable job actually working in health care just moved to a new city to live with my so unfortunately i dont have many friends in the area so when im home alone my thoughts are even darker for at least an hour i will lay in bed and constantly reflect on negative feelings and thoughts of death the relationship is complicated my so got a dui in august and it has really taken a toll on him and subsequently us the only person i have in this new city i feel so distant from additionally tension with new coworkers and i result in a  hour painful shift does anyone have any book or podcast suggestions meditation mindfulness fantasy selfhelp literally anything to keep my mind busy side note i do workout it is better than sitting at home alone so at least theres that,3.0
9656,so sick of unemployment hi i have been unemployed for  months now and just failed another interview i feel like i am a total loser my problem may not be the greatest but i need to share it or ill be crazy soon   i am turning  this year still do not have something of my own i graduated from top school had a master tbh i think those things are useless i used to be a banker i spent tons of money on  for my master which now seems like a bad move even my english is not improved much after  year in uk everyone thought i can land a job soon with my resume which just make it worse i have to move back in my parents house and feel like a total loser   i am tired of keeping my hope up after  interview just for getting crushed in my last interview my interviewer even said that he hope to see me again but it is  days now and i have not received any offer yet the hr staff said that offer will be sent within  days after interview so i guest it is over  thank you for spending time reading my non sense i just need a place to cry if you ever in my position please tell me your story and how you get over it thatll help so much,3.0
9657,i did however figure out why i dont like housework cause it never stays done  min after i finish it is messed up again ,2.0
9658,rt akashbanerjee wont forget rohtak wont forget job creation jumla wont forget  farmer suicides a year wont forget how soldiers,2.0
9659,staffosez joshbutler aynrandy philmour yeh thats pretty sad if youre not prepared for the person youre tal ,0.0
9660,will have a job interview wednesday for a more challenging job in amsterdam   ,2.0
9661,how do i know if i have depression basically every day for a while now ive been slowly sort of self diagnosing myself with depression but maybe im just feeling how everyone feels im always tired and i feel this weird disconnect most of the time where things just sort of go by and afterward i feel like i just floated through them im not particularly sad or anything and i still have fun with my friends and stuff sometimes i get reallly lonely and feel like stuff is just off especially at night time maybe its just me being a teen,3.0
9662,another night in a hospital bed poor hubby is sleeping in a hospital chair ,2.0
9663,its a sad news sending virtual hug to him i wish all our sincere messages and concerns will reach him is some ways we purple youu,0.0
9664,tribella is not enjoying the rain ,2.0
9665,theres an immortal spider in my room ,2.0
9666,im trapped half of the time im just blank slate depressed i dont think about anything i dont process my life situation i just run on autopilot im not happy but its a calm kind of melancholyits times like right now that i hate when i realize how hopeless everything is and i am stuck having anxiety attacks which i never used to have realizing that i will never be able to do anything i want to and am just floating down the slow lazy river to hell,3.0
9667,xxhazelxx thanks again hoping today has been wonderful for you ,0.0
9668,have been depressed my whole life and i think its time for me to get  years old being depressed for the past  years or so and i have been running away from the fact that i am depressed and i knew it all alone im in university right now and i have to say that i have wasted my  years of my life hell i have been depressed alone for as long as i can remember  uni just made it worse i dont know why i am like this i constantly thinking about i am better off dead but the thoughts of breaking my parents heart kept me from doing it in fact i dont even think i have the courage what a joke im the last thought of me going to bed every night is that i hope i wont wake up and every time i open my eyes all i feel is disappointment the fact that i have pretty messed up my grades at university because i couldnt bring myself to do anything i dont go to class nor do any work because saying in my room with the curtains closed and hide inside my blanket gives me the only course of comfort  i am so tied of acting happy in front of my family and people around me i realised that my life cannot go on like this so i will probably make an appointment with my gp  here in the uk but im not sure what to expect  will they believe me when i tell them my story or what should i tell them and what i shouldnt because i dont want the stuff i have said be used against me in some ways i might not mention the problem of my suicidal thoughts because they might send me to asylum or something i know im not gonna kill myself but the thoughts its just always there im thinking about deferring my exams in may or even deferring the whole year if its possible from my uni i just wish i had reached out to someone before and now i just feel like everything is all set im gonna graduate from university with a shitty grade and be even more depressed my whole life i just want to take some time off my course for a year so i can sort this thing out in my head thanks you for reading  i have never shared this with anyone but i must admit it feels kinda good take care guys,3.0
9669,in a vicious cycle and i need help ive been in an endless loop of depression ruining my life and i dont know how to get out i need help long story shorti just turned  and ive been feeling depressed and suicidal for  years now it all started when i got really bad acne and started being shunned for it i went to my parents for help but they told me to just get over it and that it will go away my mom bought me some stridex and it made my skin explode it took years to even slow down and i was left with scarring i sucked it up and delivered pizza long enough to get myself to a dermatologist and coametic specialist years of work and tens of thousands of dollars spent on scar revision my skin finally became at a socially acveptable level by the time i was through those years i lost all of my relationships i was in a horrible mental state i was assaulted more times than i can even remember  or  and nobody was ever held accountablemy mom was verytoxic toward me and my dad and our house became miserable my dad got cancer and died a year later the whole time he was sick he would be like omg im dying and my mom would yell back no your not stop your pity  i was unemployed during that time and that was every day of my life for a whole year just my dad dying and my mom yellingmore recently i got a good job and a girlfriend but that all got fucked up i dont want to write too much but im in a bad cycle i need to get away from my mom enter therapy and take medication im so deep in to depression anxiety and ptsd that i cant hold a job long enough to pay for help i always lose my job after a couple months idk i really need help im willing to work for it but there is no help available it seems ,3.0
9670,im back but not staying long tweet later  have a  happy afternoon for  people xd,0.0
9671,a new study shows that if we want to come off antidepressants we need to taper off over a period of months or years rather than the typically recommended  to  weeks link to article within over the last  years ive decreased my dose of antidepressants substantially recently ive been trying to taper off all together because i feel ive developed enough cognitive strategies to give life a go without them but the withdrawal symptoms are bad enough that i remain on my maintenance dose i just happened on this article i wanted to share it with you all in case someone is going through something similar heres the article and a few excerptsthousands perhaps millions of people who try to quit antidepressant drugs experience stinging withdrawal symptoms that last for months to years insomnia surges of anxiety even socalled brain zaps sensations of electric shock in the brainbut doctors have dismissed or downplayed such symptoms often attributing them to the recurrence of underlying mood problemsthe new paper she added speaks to how hard it is to get this information into the clinical world we laypeople have been saying this for a long time and its telling that it took psychiatrists coming off meds themselves for this information to finally be heardi think psychiatrists are taught to learn things from textbooks and from wellconducted studies dr horowitz said we dont have many of those for withdrawal so it makes it hard to believe its real and psychiatrists spend a lot more time prescribing things than stopping them,3.0
9672,watching jayoncebeyz vids on utubesweet couplethey look soooo cute togetha course they do i love em ,0.0
9673,himynameisemmy  i would be too,2.0
9674,i hate living like this the cycle of wanting to get help or to keep dealing with it on my own is something that is always plaquing my mind i want to tell my parents that i still feel depressed but from past experience im scared to tell them again i also want to confide in my girlfriend but instead of helping me it makes me feel stupid afterwards i always contemplate ending it but im scared of what happens after i die since around september  ive been trying a lot of things to get better and this recent summer things started to look up i found  new hobbies that i really enjoy and i got a cat but since the quarantine happened i dont get out and i hardly talk to my own family ive been in a really dark place recently and i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
9675,gonna have a shower then continue wrking hope im nt forced to go their i luv my elders metrolife  but i knw theyll annoy me ,2.0
9676,y do i get the feeling dmvcustomer service ppl put u on hold just becuzmeanwhile theyre eating doritos or filing their nails  dlc,2.0
9677,there is no parasol that can shelter this weather  ,0.0
9678,davynathan welcome to the madness  how the show goin,0.0
9679,anyone out there with experience using kadian i know the pharmacology but i need someone with regular experience with kadian thanks ,0.0
9680,winter makes me feel sad its so dull hardly any proper sunlight ,3.0
9681,without u im just a sad song,1.0
9682,advice for someone looking to get into suicide prevention hello my friends as the days go on the idea of signing up for the training to volunteer on a suicide hotline seems more appealing in a sense of i wish to assist people at their critical moments but seeing as how many of us here including me lmao are struggling with these things i would like to hear from you guys what you are looking for when you seek suicide prevention what you would like the other person to knowdo basically any advice that would assist someone in becoming a better counselor where did the others go wrong for those of you who have tried these hotlines thanks in advance,3.0
9683,where did the sun go ,2.0
9684,loves the summer it drives the seminaked girls outside ,0.0
9685,tatedance its okay to be gay i am ,0.0
9686,wow  crazy morning mucho loco  definitely gonna need some extra coffee today ,0.0
9687,twisuz lmao mee too  gotta make me some afternooncaffeelatte yummy ,0.0
9688,nah i cant survive in dhaka ,2.0
9689,rt bybuku lord please help me trust you even when it doesnt make sense allow me to believe in you more than i believe in my plans el,0.0
9690,awesome prices but they hardly have anything in my size   lt aaajaayradd gt,2.0
9691,it was a full rainbow that crossed the sky full of every color absolutely gorgeous didnt see a witch tho ,2.0
9692,come check out our new forum sign up today  competitions will only ever be open to forum members htttpwwwxboxinsidernetforum,0.0
9693,wish i was at  big weekend ,2.0
9694,word 👌 httpstcojbydbwhlrr,1.0
9695,also thers no good pics of charles so now i have depression,1.0
9696,podcast anxiety lies constantly – how to stop listening  ,1.0
9697,rt susanstormxo respect mattersits sad when news hosts  press  media  will defend those bad apples in journalismsimply because,1.0
9698,it kinda makes me sad to think about moving out of the house that i have lived in since i was born,1.0
9699,dj eu summit eu backs plan to disburse latvia aid money  draft  it k� iedos naudu bet jēgas nek�das ,2.0
9700,randiibabii lmao nopeand im chillin  a hotel in jamaica ,0.0
9701,yes another ortho visit leading to another specialist next friday ,2.0
9702,now  i cant stop to listening paranoid and behind enemiy lines  sing love story and watch the video you belong with me of taylor swift ,0.0
9703,lalavazquez sorry but i have to agree with everyone else ,2.0
9704,made it to chicago but our group luggae with aaaaalll the costumes didnt  the devil is busy but god aint sleep and we gone kill the show,2.0
9705,thinks calling people backup plans is positively ridiculous ,0.0
9706, lol nice photo  i dread to think what paul did to make you pull that face ,0.0
9707,wants to go watch all of you graduate  i actually might if i can persuade my mom haha,0.0
9708,taking my baby to the airport  cryingness  ,2.0
9709,davidarchie i heard you and brooke were sitting right behind jason mraz at the idols finale so how was it ,0.0
9710,whyyyyyy did i develop a severe case of insomnia the past  nights exhausted totally miserable and hating my allergies ,2.0
9711,relationship advice when dealing with anxietydepression during quarantine hi all my partner and i have been in quarantine for a month and a half so far and during this time my anxiety and depression has really im increased i have realized i may need meds and am waiting on an email back from my doctor we are different which has always worked well— hes very outgoing much more relaxed much easier with a laugh whereas im more quiet more of a natural worrier not as quick to belly laugh even on my best day etc i have really not been fun at all to be around lately—  very easy to cry high strung focused on talking about fears concerns what ifs and just genuinely unhappy not with our relationship at all just a general sadness which i think has more to do with depression reappearing regardless our relationship has become strained and i want us to be able to reconnect as i work through my own issues and deal with this unique time of being in the same house together for the foreseeable future separate of friends family outings dates etc currently we will watch tv and movies but its hard to even have a relaxed easy conversation currently any suggestions or personal experiences resetting or working on a relationship when depressionanxiety have really strained things,3.0
9712,photo how awsome is this  love and peace corylaner ,0.0
9713,im trying to write an english message on twizz i can read but im not so skillend in writing i must improve my skillz ,0.0
9714,still at garage but finally getting results having spent more money an expensive morning ,2.0
9715,marquitathomas aww thas what i like to hear thas all blessed dear ,0.0
9716,nabin says the download speed from utl cdma is  today and i am using college lan at   digital divide ,2.0
9717,i wanna frickin die i hate school so much for the last  months i have spent so much time and effort on trying to keep my english grade above an s our ap requirements and as of recently i have come in every morning to turn something in but every time it is either counted late or fails miserably i just passed the last six weeks with a failing grade regardless my efforts and i wanna to fuckin die,3.0
9718,a girl i love the last few days were a little rough i had a very  bad  time for  now reason of course you probably  know what i am talking about couldnt sleep crying  the whole day one day i was playing a game with  friends via voicechat and i was muted for hours because i couldnt act happy or  normal anymore now what i want  to talk next about what actually is concerning me right now needs a littlebit of a backstorya few years ago in  grade there was a girl ive seen her befor i knew about her but  i didnt care not about anyone i was a bad student i was introverted i wouldnt do my homework i wouldnt listen in class i  would miss every school day  i could sometimes staying at  home without my  mother knowing it i wasnt depressed or anything back then i just didnt want  to school i  was a looser or at least thats whats lots of people told  me i always had some kind of social anxiety  but of course it grew during that time i didnt care about anyone except  my friends and looking back i always had somehow friends in school they didnt always  want to have me around but i had friendsfunny thing i do remember that one  time my former best friend visited  me he was living  in a different city i moved a few years ago and he told me  what an asshole i have become at some point and i told him that that was how it was  going  over there i wonder was it just an excuse and i just became an asshole or changed me the whole situation to become an assholewell back to  grade so i didnt care about anyone and i wasnt really liked by most people in school i also didnt care about anything  i just wanted  to come home and play videogames  with my online friends we had a classtrip for a week i  wont go into detail  but i was talking to that  girl at some  point and after the class trip i realized it hit me something i never felt before something i still cant express a good feeling was it love probably  yes but today  i know it might be an strong very unhealthy version of it  well whatever  it changed a lot about  me i cant really explain it but it seems like that that feeling actually strengend me it made me believe it made me reach for more i always wanted to learn playing the guitar but i always failed and suddenly i was  buying myself a  guitar i was practicing a lot a few classmates formed a band with me as lead  guitarist how cool is that i thought i found new friends and even on the most unmotivational days i went to school because i just wanted to see her i was  still a bad student but actually i was going  to school  regularly again and that was enough that  my grades actually got pretty good at least in most classes i remember how one of my teachers told me how much i changed that i  turned around like  degreesso at some point i confessed my feelings to her actually in a weird but not too weird way  i dont want to go too much into detail  about  this but lets say that she  asked me if i had these feelings for her weird right i was a very  shy person and actually  i planned it so she would ask me if i have these feelings for her i still cant believe  that worked out hah she told me that she wants to get to know me  more and then we could see if that would work unfortunately i am a very shy person and i had like no experience  with girls or relationships and not much experience  with human contact in general so i probably acted a  little weird and creepy sometimes and at some  point she told me in anger that she does not have any feelings for me and that we could  be friends and thats it after that i told her  that i dont have these feelings  anymore for her and i actually thought that silly me  thery where always  there burried  deep inside of meshe told me at some point that she was missing writing with me online and at our graduation party we danced a litte and one of our friends told me i should just kiss  her because  he thouhg  it seemed  like she had some kind of feelings  for me i myself am very bad at spotting emotions of people therefor i  would never realize such a thing but i kept  believing that she really had no feelings for me which probably is correct sometimes i still think about if i ever had a chance well after that we went to the same scholl but different classes she graduated i failed she went to an university i became an actual looser we still have contact in our group of friends but since i distanced myself from them i am probably less in contact with all of them than they are with each other no matter how much time goes by every time i think about her my heart seems to reach for her desperately and i have to tell my heart that there is no chance for this to happen and it hurts it hurts a lot in a weird way now the weird thing isthat the few times we write i have this weird feeling of happiness i feel strong i feel like i can do everything it feels like the demons are gone but the moment the conversation ends  all the dmons are back and i want to hold on to that motivationthe reason i share  this with you well its not a problem itsnothing thats fixable i just want to talk about that i  just want to vent a  littlethanks if you actually took your time reading this and if you didnt dont feel bad its a lot of messy textill understand everyone who will just skip reading this,3.0
9719, that is honestly amazing im craving for change  hope you get your wish best friend,2.0
9720,lukeverge haaahaa  get wasted is that better ,0.0
9721,no title i am currently jobless i have enough cash to last me about a month and school starts next week for about a few weeks now my depression really has been attacking me overthinking anxious cant sleep at night because of it my job was consuming my energy the customers are hot headed and always in a rush i couldnt take it there anymore it was simply too much to handle i was there for about  months before i caved in i tried to find another job before i left but i just couldnt now i am jobless my good friend i would even go so far to say best friend has a girlfriend now shes very sweet and funny and i would even consider her a friend now once he started dating her i realized how alone i was i knew i was alone for sometime but this type of alone feeling truly hurts me like never before i sit in bed every night thinking these thoughts over and over i try to take my mind off it by working out or making music but every night when i go to bed these thoughts hit me like a brick in the face i dropped all my classes last semester i fell so far behind it wouldve been suicide to try to finish those classes i have been having suicidal thoughts lately ive had these thoughts for some time now i guess i feel like i would never commit to it it would be unbearable for something like that to happen to my mom ever since my dad committed suicide however im worried one day i will stop caring completely and just do it i stopped talking to my brother for some time i occasionally see him every now and again when he comes to get mail from my home but weve become so disconnected i feel like i cant talk to any of my family my friends feel like more of a family than my family does sometimes at the same time im afraid to tell this to any of my friends i feel so hurt and alone inside i feel so lost,3.0
9722,alys party tonighttt  gonna be fucking insaneee,0.0
9723,rt  cold n sad,2.0
9724,my own mind is driving me insane my mind is always talking shit its driving me insane even writing this reddit post is unbearable my mind is so fucking critical of everything i say or do its even making me lose the few friendships i have how do i escape this annoying voice always judging me while speaking always judging my actions nothing i do seems to have any value according to my judgemental mind even if deep down i know what i do is right i am try to meditate and it does help but so far it didnt stick with me for long enough to get any serious results so i continue trying but meanwhile i feel like every aspect of my life is deteriorating especially my social life i tried so hard for so long to fight it and stay optimistic but the voice keeps judging and its meaner after every setback i face talking about this problem to anyone is also very difficult because i cant really explain why i am depressed also i constantly say to myself that it will get better so i wont have to embarras myself in front of my family but in the end i know it is true that talking about my issues is the only thing that will help me iso how do i accept my self i know this voice is part of my personality and that there is some deeper problem which i cant see or maybe some negative things that happened in my youth that i cant remember i dont want to blame anyone else im done with that i am responsible for my own life so i want to fix it but this fucking voice gets in the way everytime i try if anyone has been through the same struggle and found a way out please help because i am starting to lose hope that it will get better,3.0
9725,ewww theres a bug in my room ,2.0
9726, just the red dell one i wish macbooks werent so expensive unfortunately i dont have an extra � spare ,2.0
9727,theres just too much and no help this time of home office like school assignments so much more to teach yourself and to handle on your own with no teachers supporting you just sending in more and more workthis time of being locked up inside with no option to leave and take a breather  a time outthis time of not being able to do anything because youre so tired and overwhelmed  and then its midnight againthis time of trying to accomplish something  just to be told its not sufficientthis time of people going theres help but there isntthis time of being too done to try a fifth psychologist after four failed and made you worsethis time of being told to stop acting so depressed and falling even deeper because how dare youthis time of mental breakdowns day and day againthis time where you dont know what youve done wronghow will you fix this how will you fix yourself when no one else aids you,3.0
9728,rainnwilson i think your shants are awsome ,0.0
9729,epic wardrobe fail  shop for smart threads nxt wknd i need a queer eye for straight guy makeover i wanna dress like chuck from gg ,0.0
9730,time to make some physical model  hope my laser cutting goes well and quickly studio is empty but me cool and calm sunday morning ,0.0
9731,twitlonger hi x your websites soo cool i love using it  thank you ,0.0
9732,i have no voiceim half deaf and my legs are tiredbut it all worth it cause yesterday i had the most amazing day of my life ,0.0
9733,looking for advice on trintellix im not sure if this is the right place for this but i dont know where else id put this i started trintellix about two months ago and the nausea has not gone away it has been getting worse i used to just feel queasy and now i am vomiting  minutes after taking it like clockwork i do eat a good amount  minutes before taking it but i still throw up everything i feel better after vomiting but still feel queasy ,3.0
9734,retroslimes saybohmc pikaclicks jasknightwing i personally have chronic clinical depression i take a significa httpstcouywulkesnm,2.0
9735,is eating broccoli ,0.0
9736,walking home from school and i look like a loner funny day at school today ,0.0
9737,please dont mention me in anything that has to do with elections  i have so much anxiety may i be at peace for the next coming days,1.0
9738,realdonaldtrump sad so sad,2.0
9739,rt willhitchuva i resigned from a think tank at uva today because i felt it betrayed its principles in giving a senior fellowship to trum,1.0
9740,rt hoedafuq look working on our spirituality does help with depression but not necessarily through religion religion falls under spirit,0.0
9741,depression affecting job attendance so for the past  years ive been able to make great strides in my career im able to learn quickly and deliver on things and accomplish lots of goals however all of my managers have had the same critique  my performance is great but my attendance is a wrecki used to have  jobs but i wasnt able to keep that up i could make it on time maybe  days a week but i usually showed up at  i got a sleep study done and found that i have hypersomnia with  sleep quality so unless i sleep for  hours i dont feel fully restedafter that i found a job that is alright with me showing up at  and a manager who really understands my issue however i would still struggle with getting to work by  when i wake up i just feel this insane sense of dread towards heading outside i feel glued to my bed find myself just staring at the ceiling or something else because its almost scary to get ready and go face the outside worldmost recently i joined another company and i have a manager who really isnt empathetic for my time issues ive yet again heard that im performing well but they really need me to focus on being in on time it just feels like im repeating the process again because there really isnt anything ive found that can help me be ini work weekends and after hours and all of that as long as i can do it from home or in a secluded area low foot traffic in office etc it feels like i should apply for disability or something to make sure that employers know that this is an issue for me but wondering if that will make it even tougher to find jobsanybody else struggling with the same issue any tips or advice ive tried meditation different medications therapy etc ive been happier and havent been suicidal in about  months now but still feeling immense stress from this problem,3.0
9742,davehodg ah mate enjoy  well be thinking of you from the stuffy halls,0.0
9743,slipping back been having on and off waves of depression since  grade and just a total consistent lack of motivation to put effort into anything i dropped out of collage after the first semester and now i just work to keep myself afloat mentally i just dont care enough about anything to get myself moving forward all my relationships fail because im just not emotional and block everything out new years eve drank myself unconscious and now im back to my depressed self and self harming again i hate myself for not being able to get though it and im afraid my life will just be passive and grey i know im not alone but i just feel so isolated in myself i dont talk to anyone about my feeling because i feel like i wouldnt make a difference,3.0
9744,im so nervous wow i love anxiety,1.0
9745,juflietp partner bumilnya gua asik ga jutek ga cute temen lamaku dibohay uyeahh suka menggosip cem ibuk ibuk ,0.0
9746,ready to sleep and i took a nap today im old ,2.0
9747,bigwhite ok i will get you on the next one coming up in a few min ,0.0
9748,heraypp o hera hera wherefore art though hera  tear,2.0
9749,depression is like trying to walk through quick sand you just feel so weighed down and fucking helpless you just want to scream for help until eventually the quicksand consumes you whole and youre left suffering in silence,3.0
9750,im on the verge of snapping i hate my fucking dad hes verbally abusive and im at the point of breaking down completely my entire life i cant think of anything good associated with him everything is accomplished in brutality every dirty dish every thrown shirt every cent associated with me through the phone or cable or anything even things that arent done are cause for screaming he expects to be greeted like a fucking king at every turn he gets home from work he wants me to go say hi to him and even when i do he gets mad because i didnt say it right every interaction with him is an event when hes home i wont even leave my room to eat even if that means no meals for  hours his presence is a sort of repelling gatekeeper i wont go near any place where hes at if i can help it he fights with my mom all the time and my other brothers the employees at his corner store who he treats like shit the customers too who he lectures me on constantly on being nice to but who all make comments to me asking me why hes so pissed off all the time his brothers the food and bev employees for the products he carries  everyone i think its why i hate authority so much he pays the bills and as such by that sole reason he takes advantage of it to bully and intimidate every single person who deals with him for whatever reason and i cant i cant keep hearing this what you make of it play cards that ur dealt shit i cant i cant take this tough love shit anymore when i want to vent im doing everything i can im not spending a dime on anything i signed up for a job but they jobs dont instantly hire you  anywhere ever a month later ive gotten few emails last one  that i passed the online exam and am now on an eligible list theres no magical fucking shelter here to pat me on the shoulder and say there there i have myself and thats it and im expending every sliver of my being into trying to get out of here ive now been in the bathroom for two hours two hours since i had to deal with being berated and what i hate above all is the permanency of it  i can feel myself changing often it almost seems like i can feel the damage the stress is doing on my brain itself after intense periods of internally screaming my head aches i sometimes will bash my head against the wall or clench my fists and bash them against my skull a few times while i scream into a pillow or something im so fucking sick of it all and while i dont think ill ever do anything to anyone else im at the point of just wanting to fucking off myself and that angers me even more i dont hate the world or anything else i just fucking hate him ,3.0
9751,i feel guilty as hell for once again for allowing my depression to take control over me i wanna be better i wan httpstcowozpvzajes,1.0
9752,hey debby or any body elsecan  talk  me right now ,0.0
9753,time to complete my pathetic law homework amp hopefully a little of marketing assignments in  mins time im leaving the house ,2.0
9754,being lazy goin to huka in a bit to set up for the beautiful dj balance come see her shes amazing ,0.0
9755,rt destinyman about  men in sa commit suicide every day and depression is among the leading causes  httpst,1.0
9756,getting off at  nap trainer movies  then doing it alll again tomorrow ,2.0
9757,my husband is going to have dinner ready for me coming homehow lovelly ,0.0
9758,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
9759, did you get my email  how was the aquarium btw,0.0
9760,porschacoleman it would take an act from god lol but i hope so ,0.0
9761,im quitting my job ive been working at a department store for about  months yet and i just cant do it anymore  theres too much to know and i just cant keep up  people who have been there  weeks are telling me how to do things  i sat down with my manager this morning and explained it all  the crying in the bathroom the calling in sick because im too scared to go in everything she was really nice about it and i decided to put in my notice  it feels like a failure but i gave it my best try and it isnt working out  i feel relieved that i only have  more weeks  i dont have another job lined up yet but i had to get out  i know thats not a good choice but the anxiety is so intense there  i feel like a bit of a failure  a blind labradoodle could do this job haha  ah well cant win em all right  ,3.0
9762,cant stop this fetish for shoes nd food  i ought to die in books nd not food,2.0
9763,depression is more comfy than medication is it just me i almost weekly skip my meds and drink for days because being depressed feels more comfy more free and more me than the normal brought by ssrisinterested in other peoples thoughts ,3.0
9764,mazzitm thanks im just at the point where i havent slept dont know how productive i can be now it was stupid to stay awake all night ,2.0
9765,looking for a printer that can print retail headed cards  one that already has a euroslot die ,0.0
9766,sarahteaa good girl sarah now weve got ourselves a club ,0.0
9767,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
9768,octoberish that was one slow jump or a very large parachute and slow decent to the dormat i know the creators of asos nice bunch ,0.0
9769,going to work late tmrw so staying up tonighttttt ,0.0
9770,i hate myself im a fucking loser thats the post,3.0
9771,done with finals for the day ,0.0
9772,a few new swine cases at the hospital today ,2.0
9773, you are good wished i had your motivation i bloody need it ,0.0
9774,sassela miss you lady ,2.0
9775,wandering in darkness i know i can only fix myself but the energy expedited isnt towards the battle  its honestly spent more on if the battle is even worth fighting ,3.0
9776,jedidiahusa  i cant seem to get the links for the stories of the shirts to work,2.0
9777,how should i cope with being ugly im a  year old shy girl i never really had any success with guys only been approached once my looks were awlays something that i was really ashamed of i would always see a picture taken of me and fall into weeks of depression because of it then i always make myself believe that it was just a bad angle because in mirrors i look better clothes look more flattering but on photos i actually look like an idiot the outfits dont look stylish on me but rather out of place because of my ugly face and weird body i have to focus on final exams but again i just saw some pictures taken of me in the summer and i cant but to fucking cry of the ugliness i always worked on fixing what i can about myself but it doesnt work im soooo tired of this i want to be hot too my rant about myself i always starved myself so i am a little underweight now but still look fat on some pictures in the past months i started trying to gain weight so maybe i could gain muscles easier but i cant gain weight anymore no matter how much i try to eat other than that i would always try to work out when i can my posture looks awful and sloppy working out never works i dont have time and i get worn out quicker and quicker every time i workout i will always have a flat ass and weirdly wide shoulders working out also makes my knees and back hurt and crack i do the excersises properly my borther is a coach he helped with it my face is the worst i have really bad hairline my face looks tired and worn out big undereye bags under my small eyes i have very prominent wrinkles around my mouths even when i smile just a little bit my nose is really long with a bump on the tip my lips are nonexistent my face does not look feminine at all its long but doesnt have any shape no jaw nor cheeks even surgery couldnt help i spend an hour a day on my hair to make that weak and thin tangly mess look more bearable i also take care of my skin but it just looks faded and old and wrinkly oh and i also have cellulite to top it all ofif there are any advices and tips i gladly read them im just so tired of never looking like i imgaine it and i dont look too hot in mirrors either but at least normal and somewhat nice im just tired of these depression episodes because of my looks i wish i was effortlessly beautiful like others,3.0
9778,is sad that she has to sell her rv but let me know if your interested  ,0.0
9779,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
9780,how to calm our anxious selves  world of psychology mentalhealth anxiety stress thursdaythoughts ,1.0
9781,down with fever ,2.0
9782,which horses are in the derby not mine thats for sure i feel like a failure ,2.0
9783,brace face  ,2.0
9784,well if you actually went and got your drivers license you wouldnt have to worry about the bus being shit haha ,0.0
9785,pgshooter heheven the latest startrek has lens flares galore ,0.0
9786,nooo sitting in lib amp trying to work but some idiots built up a stage in the front and are playing loud musicwhich is acutally cool ,2.0
9787,is it normal for time to go by way too fast for some reason time is going by too fast maybe its my shit memory just forgetting everything that happened therefore making it seem like it happened way sooner that it did its honestly scary how fast time is going by,3.0
9788,i think im getting sick  ,2.0
9789,no entertainment system in air china flight to san francisco  sucks hope im going to sleep,2.0
9790,todays my birthday and so far no one greeted me aside from my mom even on facebook or my closest friends its sad that im the noisy one in our group and even the ones planning our trip or even the smallest recreational stuff and yet i get not one birthday greeting i guess im just some unimportant person after all ,3.0
9791,looking forward to watching french open highlights every night this week on channel  i finally get to watch some of the sport i love ,0.0
9792,my anxiety needs to chill rn ugh,2.0
9793,rt kimmvungsoo now this makes me sad ,2.0
9794,off to work start to a busy week ,0.0
9795,neilochka i think god is still more powerful but this is pretty cool too  nice to meet you neil,0.0
9796,repinging asexynyfemale megaboast smile boo smiling now  i just bored need to do something,0.0
9797,rt jmntaes my stomach hurts i just want him to be ok i want my baby to be ok this is so sad fuck,0.0
9798,im so jealous of everyone whos going to dragonette tonight ,2.0
9799,seriously i feel so sad today c,2.0
9800,i have meltdowns over the most frivolous things like missing out on a sale a couple days after buying something its seems like not much but i feel completely worthless as a result all my emotions are negative or neurotic in one way or another,3.0
9801,and excuse the language but fuck damn swine flu made me adjust my holiday plans ,2.0
9802,i just cant do it anymore im  months pregnant im so stressed and depressed that i cry all day every day not some light crying either full blown body heaving curled up in a ball bawling on the floor so hard i throw up and pop blood vessels in my face crying my husband just tells me to get a grip and suck it up and gets mad at me when i cry which  of the time is because of him i cry out for help when im suicidal and he just gets mad and says whatever which makes me feel even worse this poor child deserves so much better than to be born into this tragedy they are probably already damaged beyond repair from feeling nothing but my stress and depression for the entire duration of their creation it would be better for the child for me to just end it now i cant live like this and it deserves so much better,3.0
9803,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
9804,my lips are like sugar and i have a polka dot bikini i just cant find the top to it ,2.0
9805,mrpeterandre you are diginified in your silence  stay strong xoxox,0.0
9806,im sorry i cant be perfect ,2.0
9807,saaamm yeahhh  my depth perception isnt great either hah,2.0
9808,trying to get rid of a headacheit is  degrees here ewwwww ,2.0
9809,just saw safin lose most probably his last ever wimbledon matchsad   ,2.0
9810,i feel emotionless i havent talked about this with anyone and just wanted to do it here anonymously for the first time i feel like a brick wall of a person and i dont care about anything or have any true emotional feeling about anything i have a small group of less than  friends at school but spend zero time with them at all after school i honestly dont care about them and would be fine if they never existed another problem i have is i dont truely love anybody my grandparents died and my family members in tears but i just stood there respectfully and did not care if my parents disappeared i wouldnt feel sad at all or mourn suicide is also something i think about a lot ive thought about that often and i really dont care if i die or just chug along in life i wish that i could just be in a world where everyone is gone and im just alone by myself forever now i know this may sound bad but thats just how i feel an empty shell of a person the only thing i do is play my guitar for  hours everyday in my room and i feel like music is the only way to express my emptiness and that guitar is the only thing that understands me in a way ive felt like this for years now and the only connection that could make sense would be having some sort of depression which i really dont see myself having or some sociopathic traits that came in when i was  years old i hope i can find someone on this thread that i can find someone experiencing something similar,3.0
9811,blister is throbbing room is kinda clean and the seniors graduated  butmy car works yaaay go see the hangover,2.0
9812,calvinhollywood ach geht doch grad fod  ,2.0
9813,everyday is worse i want to die simple things like taking a shower or brushing my teeth or studying  just fell hard as fuck and i cant be happy anymore,3.0
9814,heading home from the shore ,2.0
9815,ill shurg off the negative comment that came my way via email from someone  ill look at the positive things around me instead ,0.0
9816,sun burn haha it hott  but good  woking just now had a fantastic day been rushed of my feet taking a  min break hehe,0.0
9817,tell me what you think of this eyerises  other guy anxiety prod  donny x anbidon ,1.0
9818,itdiestoday come over my place and make me food i cant cook ,2.0
9819,karenbme can  i come too i am sad ,2.0
9820, you know what i just rewatched kris singing heartless on top  and im really pissed off that i cant download it anymore ,2.0
9821,watching my angels lol ,0.0
9822,my tummy hurts ,2.0
9823,powers out  thank god for the iphone,2.0
9824,alanisnking my grandfather got me the i need my garage time one without realizing it was just a sad statement on httpstcotuhazghqvc,1.0
9825,feeling very low ,2.0
9826,wow just found out that i just need my passport and  to get into moz rad i wonder if theyre gonna stamp me on my wrist ,0.0
9827,whats the point anymore i dont even know what to write at this point i just dont get it i cant even write a post on reddit thats how pathetic i am lol sorry actually i would delete it but idk how ,3.0
9828,alyssacakes but with a special dose of meee ,0.0
9829,dawsonis it a problem that i still cant move my thumb    and dont reply withquotwell you deserve itquot lol cause i know,2.0
9830,or frequantly  spell check has ruined me ,2.0
9831,that said in some kind of divine retribution one of my crisps has stabbed me in the gum karma can be a real bitch at times ,2.0
9832,canadasmichelle agreed on twitour thanks for reading blog and gnight ,0.0
9833,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
9834,cant believe i have a cold right before netball starts up  misses everyone already one more week of school holis see everyone soon x,2.0
9835,mmmichellea naw shes leaving on friday  oh well she might come home next year though,2.0
9836,im fucking tired i mean like this is probably very normal to all of you and is probably very normal in realityrecently i argued with my friend over a stupid thing coz he wont admit it and like okay first off he blocked me and everything thats fine but like can you not send me clown emojis then say fuck you cunt to me while saying lmao is this very funny like tbh im that person that takes friendship very seriously especially this guy i used to like him or say love and i still very do even after this i dont know why hes just idk i miss him you know and like we were still friends until todays argument hes a very stubborn guy very arrogant too cant believe i used to like him at the end of the day i still get blamed i dont know i dont wanna cry over someone that is probably only gonna be  of my life but i wanna cry really bad coz i thought this friendship was real and i dont know ive been really sick of bs recently i havent told him anything coz hes kinda like a dry texter depression has been fucking around i dont know anymore im young and i dont want this to like change who i am but it keeps on repeating and repeating and im getting sick of it thank you for reading,3.0
9837,vjehssica  that actually gave me depression thank you sis ,1.0
9838,banana chocolate chip cake with my sis yay saturday ,0.0
9839,i struggle with cyclothymiabipolar  and im seeing a lot of myself in my younger brother how can i make sure he doesnt end up suffering the way i have im  and my brother is  i love him a lot but it can be hard to get through to him maybe its just puberty maybe its notsometimes he will fly off the handle like when our parents do or say something that frustrates him or hell shout and cuss when hes playing video games  not crazy but he shouts and stuff a lot i felt frustrated and angry too when i was his age i shouted and yelled and all that i cant help but think its not a coincidence i dont think normal well adjusted kids act like thatspeaking of video games i was dependent on video games when i was his age and he seems to be too hell spend almost all his spare time playing video games sometimes hell go on a walk or play pool or watch tv with me but i have to coax him i was like that too i felt like i wanted to be in my video games a lot more than i wanted to participate in real life but he does do sports and plays his guitar some so maybe im overthinking it he seems withdrawn at times i really was too ill ask him if hes feeling well if hes happy or sad and hell just say hes fine i cant do much more theres other things too i just feel itive been depressed for over half my life ive hurt a lot ive been in the psych ward twice i happen to be trans too so im probably much worse off than anyone i probably wont live to see  but i dont want my brother to experience any of what i have any of what this disease entails what can i do ,3.0
9840,today i thinkl that the love is a lie ,2.0
9841,delonm i wish i want to get into iphone programing but have no mac   do you think a mac mini can handle the task,2.0
9842,isabologna thanks for staying up all night with me ,0.0
9843,really broke  need wonga ,2.0
9844,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
9845,i dont wanna be working today  i wanna stay home n watch chitty chitty bang bang  ,2.0
9846,i think i had just a little too much coffee ,0.0
9847,mggubler  i hope you recover soon ,0.0
9848,woot woot won a chair at work today for camping didnt win the  draw though ,2.0
9849,im going for a nap feeeeeel so sleepy and illl ,2.0
9850,noangelvfc you okay laura ,2.0
9851, ok 顺其自然  nah showing hkg drama on my lappy,0.0
9852,rockdrool i will go tweet it form the blogher twitter account ,0.0
9853, thats okay cant wait to see it   twitpic i think is the same login info as whatever your twitter login info is,0.0
9854, i didnt make it either ,2.0
9855, day weekend over walking to work tired ,2.0
9856,i dont need no drama in my life youre not that special anyway in fact youre gettin much colderacting bipolar fave song ,0.0
9857,  turkey just rox  check the sunset ,0.0
9858,its snowingno more needs to be said ,2.0
9859,mr kennedy fired ,2.0
9860, they are working ,2.0
9861,just finished scrubs  nowinterventions time,2.0
9862,i need advise on how to be more help to my friend hey guys i have a friend who has been diagnosed with depression bpd and a bunch of other stuff not entirely sure which ones i am trying to be more helpful be more supportive but im not sure what else i can doyesterday she showed me that she cut herself and today just  minutes ago she had a panic attack and shes not sure how to come to work as she cant move i am panicking myself because i dont know what to do and how to help her get through her panic attackswe work together and once she had a very severe panic attack at work and i was there with her she was numb could barely walk and then i took her to a quiet room to get trough it it took about  minutes for her to fell a bit betterif anyone has more experience please let me know so i can help her more and be there for hershe does see a psychologist and a psychiatrist but says theyre not helping im not sure if they are not helping or she just feels shes not worth the help,3.0
9863,i feel terrible but im hiding it im a freshman in college and i hate classes but not really because when i go i enjoy them last semester i tried fairly hard to be successful but my anxiety and idk adhd laziness and disorganization got in the way this semester is just terrible ive missed most of my classes my professors have reached out to me and advisors and im torn between wanting to try my best to fix my grades and dropping out and going to a trade school i live  hours away from home and i tell my parents im doing well when im really only wasting their money and my time im so hesitant to drop out because i dont want my parents to know i lied i do that frequently to cover my ass when i let myself get into shitty situations my mom already has trust issues with me and i dont want to leave my friends behind although my only close friends are a guy i was friendzoned by but consider one of my best friends and my roommate my friends at home want me to come back but i dont know if i can face my family again after being such a piece of shit and wasting everyones time and money my family is pretty supportive but this is worse than any shit i pulled with my grades in high school idk how theyd reactmy brain always chooses the path of least resistance and i hate how lazy i am i cant talk to my professors or anything because im freaked out that theyll yell at me all i do is eat sleep excessively and watch tv because it numbs me to the fact i should be miserable i close myself off save for hanging out with my two friends on the inside i am all the time but on the outside everyone sees a lazy college kid who has no motivation and little worries im constantly telling at myself in my head for not doing anything right and not being motivated but my brain puts itself on mute every single time its like if my mom were lecturing me and i closed the door so i could hear my tv better i feel like a delinquent kid standing up to myself i hate letting people down but its all i seem to do im so sick of my bullshit how do i get myself to do stuff i want to get better but nothing seems real everything seems hazy and unimportant regarding school my future is at stake and it feels like im sitting on the sidelines scrolling through facebook ,3.0
9864,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
9865,im not living im existing i have nothing there is nothing but bills and disappointment i cant do anything i hate what ive become and i just dont know what to do,3.0
9866,mlazopoulou how can i teleport there ,0.0
9867,who to talk to about my mental health my parents are quite strictconservatives so going to them doesnt help much i dont have any friends either  years at school i used to have friends until my issues got the best and lost them im just giving up slowly at this rate and would love to get some advice thanks,3.0
9868,minasimone im lookin  the pics while we stayin  the hotel still got there late n missed pic opps  i cnt even watch that day pics,2.0
9869,truegabe youre not skyping with me ,2.0
9870,im up still sleepy i am hurting glad i have my specialist appt today i cant take this pain anymore  cruzs concert today yay,2.0
9871, turns out he isnt hilarious though,2.0
9872,rt  stress is annoying i get stressed then get more stressed about the fact that im stressed then that stresses me out 🤯,2.0
9873,acrylicana did you decline my friend invite on facebook ,2.0
9874,depressed hey guys im a  year old male and i cant help but feel so lonely i have no friends i talk or hangout with and every time i try to talk with people i just end up getting ignored i feel like no one is interested in getting to know me how do i deal with this in a healthy matter,3.0
9875,leadtoday  i highly recommends you join  you can earn money from free shareholder by dividends even you do nothing ,0.0
9876,ghost story new school i feel more alone than ever i feel misunderstood by my parents and everyone around me nobody feels my pain the pain in my chest is getting worse everyday my family tell me im miserable sick in the head im crazy and that i cant do anything i believe them teachers get mad at me for lying and telling them i when i dont understand tasks they get mad at me for not finishing tasks and doing anything everybody is disappointed in me december comes school counsellor asks me can i talk to you for a moment we talk she says your teachers are worried about you she explains why unfinished tasks not speaking showing disinterest its ok i say dont worry about me im not used to the new school february comes my teachers keep complaining she doesnt practice enough she doesnt ask anything were worried she doesnt understand she needs to practice shes not good enough shes not good enough shes gonna fail  grade i believe them i believe every single word they say discouragement no motivation to do anything she delivers every task late they complain and complain and complain school counsellor asks me to talk with her again i do we talk for an hour and a half i tell her everything from my past till now she thinks of solutions i tell her theres nothing she can do theres no solution for me she says she wants to talk to my parents i immediately regret telling her everything as if i thought she could help i feel more misunderstood than ever my heart is broken why did i think she could help me why i feel the pain in my chest again and i start crying in front of her i tell her i dont want her to talk to my parents because i dont get along with them dont show emotions dont show emotions dont show emotions i try to hide my emotions as best as i can i can tell she doesnt understand me from the way shes speaking to me she hasnt been trough it she tells me i wont talk to your parents for now but ill ask your teachers how youre doing this week and tell them what we talked about and if i dont see any improvement i would have to talk to them my soul crushes they dont understand they dont understand they dont understand they cant do anything i tell her they dont care we talk more the last thing she tells me is you dont have to do this for them you have to do this for yourself she repeats it a few times i feel more hopeless than ever my soul is crushed and my heart hurts dont ever talk about your feelings dont talk about your feelings dont talk about your feelings never tell anyone about your feelings never tell anyone about your feelings never tell anyone they cant help they cant help they dont understand they cant do anything they dont understand i keep repeating to myself my soul crushes and my heart hurts they cant help you they cant help you they cant help you they dont understand they dont understand they dont understand never talk about your feelings never talk about your feelings never talk about your feelings i keep repeating to myself i want to crawl out of my skin so bad but i cant i go back to class teacher keeps ignoring me nobody sees ghost teacher laughs and says oh sorry i almost forgot ill help you in a second an hour passed and she still hasnt helped me hatred anger and pity flow trough my veins i can feel it so clearly the anger i want to hurt everybody who hurt me i wanna hurt myself why me i ask myself my mind is occupied with thoughts ghost i kinda understand why people wanna hurt others i tell myself i see myself hurting them i wonder if people would care when i die i think of every way to kill myself and end my pain but i dont do anything i sit there in the classroom every single day feeling like i dont belong like im less than them i let them treat me like shit i dont care i lost myself feeling the pain flow trough my veins every single day next day comes and i have a task due that day i start making it at  am i have to be at school at  am enough time i think not really i struggle to make it and i almost finish it at  am not enough time to get ready  minute drive to school i give up on going to school no motivation i fail finishing the task too mom comes in i tell her i dont feel well she yells at me and tells me to get ready she doesnt understand i ask her dont you feel sorry for me she says no theres no need to feel sorry for you i thank her my grandma and mom remind me how pointless i am again i get angry at them and cuss i end up being the bad guy and i believe it its always my fault i am pointless i have no talent i cant do anything she needs to be locked up my grandma tells my mom that way she cant cause you any more problems theyll deal with her i hear everything i lose trust in her even more lonely they dont understand mom wants to take my phone away i dont let her its the only thing that helps me they dont understand huge argument that lasts  hour and  minutes i talk to my stepdad about it and i get to keep my phone but if i do this one more time no phone for a month they do not understand its finally over they left i dream of better days and of leaving this house cant stop crying itll all get better itll all get better itll all get better itll be over soon just hold on its going to be okay one day youll get out of here one day nobody will be there to stop you youll be free one day youll get away from here youll go far away and live a happy life youll break free youll live the life you have always dreamed of just hold on a little longer its not your fault nothing of this is your fault you cant do anything about it but i can promise you youll get away as soon as you turn  we will get away from this together you cant do anything about this i know everybody tells you its your fault but its not true they dont get it they havent been trough it but until the day comes when you finally break free you prefer remaining a ghost and you will remain one ghost,3.0
9877,rewebcoach good morning to you too sir ,0.0
9878,spiderrobotpig tgurlsammy i never smoked but anxiety was not tolerable without alcohol so i was going blackout every night,1.0
9879,jamesallright haha youll get it ,0.0
9880,is new at twitter ,0.0
9881,the wackness  dopeness gran torino  much better than i expected  on my way to being eastwoods char when im that age amp that makes me ,0.0
9882,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
9883,on the train back home now i want to stay in london though ,2.0
9884,going to bed got a long drive in the passenger seat tomorrow lol then i gotta hear it from the wifee  sorry babe i love my nellie,2.0
9885,lovebscott b scott i am from europeand i follow you all the ur videos and stuff ,0.0
9886,quotpokerfacequot is in my head and wont go away   trousers hehe,2.0
9887,i need the new iphone  i cant wait till wednesday,0.0
9888,i dont get it i know my family is there to help me but i feel so fucking lonely and helpless all the time,3.0
9889,rt realxvee depression and obsession dont mix well 🤕,0.0
9890,aiden to winn  but he wont lol,0.0
9891,stormy weather but busy day aheadwish it was weekend to sleep in a bit ,2.0
9892,feelin better amp were almost to mexico  today is gonna be an amazing dayoh yes has anybody out there realized what a beautiful da ,0.0
9893,good morning in about two hours im going to study  and ill will mis greys anatomy a lot im a hug fan xoxo,2.0
9894,otavolimed the second we get back  haha,0.0
9895,mitchelmusso just got ur cd boo had to cause a scene in walmart to get it thx bordstein amp babymaria ,0.0
9896,receptionists who have depression how do you do it ive been an admin secretary for about a year now and have been dealing with depression for the last two or so months im working through my depression through therapy and stuff but coming to work is exhausting constantly talking to people all day on the phones and in person while keeping a polite and welcoming tone and appearance is so fucking exhausting the last thing i feel like doing is talking to people especially when its pointless small talk and thats mostly what my job consists of its draining and its making it almost unbearable to come to work whenever someone walks in they ask me how im doing and i have to reply that im doing well or im doing fine but im not ,3.0
9897,tiny blood vessel damage tied to depression among older adults  via reutersindia,2.0
9898, how cute is josh haha  quoti look like a  year old babyquot hahhaaha,0.0
9899,recleaning the room ankle is aching again  and i wanted to do a leg workout tonight too ,2.0
9900,my job is making me want to kill myself im  have a degree and cant find a better job so i am working as a part time sales adviser and travel money exchange adviser the last few weeks have been difficult my supervisor has been signed off since before christmas unknown reasons and it has been only me and my colleague who hasnt been working there for very long now last weekend our manger had a bike accident and has to be signed off for a couple of weeks too he was the only support we had since our store manager or head office dont give a single fuck about us employees my single colleague has been on holiday this week hence its just me all week and nobody else is trained and they wont send support from anywhere else im working on minimum wage and am expected to cover all the overtime and organize everything myself ive just left therapy before christmas as i was starting to feel better but the last few weeks have thrown me right back into the deep end i feel so bad and weak for feeling like i cant cope but honestlyi dont know how much more i can take i feel like i cant breath and all the responsibility is on me i dont know what to do im scared of what this is doing to me this job isnt worth it but i need the money i feel like im just being whiney but should i really have to deal with all this my mind is going places i havent been in for months it feels like all my progress went out of the window sorry for the rant i had to get it out somewhere ,3.0
9901,aswinanand ha ha ha havent seen sify in ages ,0.0
9902,ugh man depressing day full of death and leaving    escapism via movies and music  and food  food too heh,2.0
9903,im just tired im just tired tired of being alive tired of being a disappointment to my family tired of being a failure academically tired of lying to my friends and family when they ask if im okay tired of being tired i just want to rot away now just die and no one will grieve over me ya know im just tired of it all honestly ,3.0
9904,the world always looks brighter from behind a smile  httptwitgoocomtjir,0.0
9905,i feel very fat  too many mugs of tea and cream cakes this evening lol,2.0
9906,rt indomymenfess  regarding to the sad news today our fellow army said dont mention tas name just censored it we dont want t,0.0
9907,icestormis luckylucky girl im jealous its beautiful there i have a tattoo in greek ,0.0
9908,mels here    wassup on twitter  quotquot    ha ells  ,0.0
9909,id love to help if i can reading everybody elses issues and what their going through has really helped me stop becoming depressed by little things i still get very depressed and in a dark place a lot of the time but im working on it and have motivation to work on myself even if its hard i would love to help a lot of people on this reddit but im not really good at giving advice and im not sure how because i havent exactly figured out how to do that for myself yet but i feel like if i help others with it i can get out of it myself sorry if that doesnt make sense im not good with words,3.0
9910,rt  wartapolitik semakin kau putar kaset kusut semakin rakyat kuat dn yakin bahwa kau sedang panik dn stress,2.0
9911,rt itickletwats everyone takes my fucking anxiety for a fucking joke amp ive had enough of it for the daynight,1.0
9912,bored  got nothing to do what are you guys doing ,0.0
9913,is going in the gym and fed up with plumbers who fail to turn up leaving me in the flat all day ,2.0
9914,dunkin donuts  i hope dancedancexox doesnt die from the old lady and the nun ,0.0
9915,in good news martha got her new sails now we just have to raise money for the mast  it has to be trucked in from oregon ,2.0
9916,goodnight everybody ,0.0
9917,okay wtf where is everyone ,2.0
9918,i think the word love shouldnt be in the dictionary because no one can explain it in words its a feeling  ,0.0
9919,listening to archies quota little too not over youquot kainis di ako makakanood ng concert nila ni david cook ,2.0
9920,awww manfeel that itis coming on lolso let me take a nap so i can catch the night service at church  see im not all bad wink,0.0
9921,had a great work out today feeling strong ,0.0
9922,chefvanda youre very welcome ,0.0
9923,deekenkross well i hope i see you there  ,0.0
9924,idk i dont know if im depressed or im just exaggeratingevery night before school i feel dread and i cant sleep i feel like a mistake i cant talk to new people without choking on my words or walking or behaving like a idiot i lost my dads usb today at school and i just cant i feel so angry at myself im always desperate to go home but when i go home i feel so empty and dreadful and just sit on my phone all day being on my  used to help take away all my bad feelings i had so many good friends on my i hear about my friends going out to interesting places like the zoo museums shopping centers with their mates and it makes me feel like shit im just antisocial and just sit in my room i feel like sleeping all day i feel like crying but i cant it sucks,3.0
9925,is having the worst morning possible ,2.0
9926,sbg know the feeling only got less than half the stuff in so far though ,2.0
9927,sonyajonsgirl wow thats a long time are you doing  bc ilaa sucked this time around just a warning ,2.0
9928,how would you respond if somebody told you if you wanna die go ahead and do itno one will ever miss you if you go and do itthose are some lyrics from a song ive listened to and i imagine how id react if somebody told me this  it would feel oddly relieving because supposedly it wouldnt hurt anyone if i killed myself  but also a bit insulting  if somebody did tell me that i hope they would at least help me kill myself as quickly and as painlessly as possiblehow would you react,3.0
9929,ive lost all my personal photos  so sad,2.0
9930,on my way to lake geneva wisconsinn bye bye chicago ,2.0
9931,me i didnt even watch the  transformer jenn what i hate you becks what can you go rent it im missing out ,2.0
9932,got up at  today yay ,0.0
9933, well ty for that info i believe i will do that ,0.0
9934,grand prix over  jenson button owned again   back to xbox it is then      xx,0.0
9935,raised my gap ,0.0
9936,drbobloblaw i believe she meant general aviation ,0.0
9937,i gotta do my job and if some people dont understand i dont know what to say if it was my decision i would not have coached u boo ,2.0
9938,i may have atypical depression i was never really a social kind of guy in fact if it werent for my family id pretty much be a loner ive been seeing a social worker who ive told about my mood swings and eating disorder that ive been struggling with and expressing my feelings was a real eyeopener for me i dont have full on depression but i do have depressive periods seemingly at random where thoughts of suicide or selfharm pass through my mindand on a few occasions i gave in to urges for the latter strangely there are times where i forget about these feelings and feel positive only for them to come back full force later one of the biggest effects this has had is on my appetite i used to eat like a horse nowadays however i can easily go an entire day or two without eating i have lost  pounds from this going from  to  in  monthskeep in mind im  it doesnt help that this is comorbid with my aspergers which is a factor into why i isolate myself so often i avoided other people on purpose many times simply due to preferring being alone and paradoxically this is what makes me miserable,3.0
9939,pankajmalani so my tweeting duznt count anymore ,2.0
9940,missanneelk i think so is proud i doubt they will though  quotyou want us to buy you issues of a what try getting a life firstquot,0.0
9941,my home rooter is broken  i cannot access to twitter at home,2.0
9942,rt timsandle microbes in action  can probiotics help to reduce the symptoms of depression the answer appears possible httpstc,1.0
9943,im so sad right now  im so sad for him omgggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭,1.0
9944,im really lost and dont know what to do anymore im  really fucking lost and just dont know what to do anymore my home life isnt as bad as it could be but it sucks my dad left when i was born my mum has been in and out of psych wards and using drugs since i was born so i live with my emotionally abusive grandmother alcoholic grandfather and younger twin brothers that i basically raised i left school last year when i was  cause of major anxiety issues and cause of the fact i was sexually assaulted constantly by this guy who was in my class but of course i didnt tell anyone that before i left school i had a group of people i would hand out with looking back now i wouldnt even call them friends they were just a bunch of shitty people being assholes to everyone around them i was also a straight a student but then my life was falling apart very quickly i do online school now but its always a struggle to do the work i just have no motivation its like i know i need to do it but i keep telling myself who fucking cares youll probably be dead by the time your  im failing classes and just dont give two shits about myself i got told by my doctor they found a tumor in my thyroid a few months ago and as shitty as it sounds i hoped it was cancer but they still dont know if it is i wish i was dead but i dont wanna kill myself ,3.0
9945, great idea for a baby gift ,0.0
9946,new to twitter checking everything out ,0.0
9947,ladecostified i was wondering if you stayed after you found out but im sad it was embarrassing ,2.0
9948,latweeta im here you dont have to file a missing person report  what time you off you slept late last night foolia,2.0
9949,i feel as though im going to die sad and alone at every stage of my life i have had freinds including this one but recently i have felt so depressed that its actually a burden for me to go out with them because i feel like if i actually tell them how im feeling theyre going to leave me i feel terrible especially after first semester of college i met so many friends last semester and i even was good at keeping in contact with my old buddies from hs but now it seems that nobody is interested in contacting me every time i reach out every one acts like things our great but what i have realized is even when i go out of my way for people nobody goes out of the way for me who knows maybe im selfish for wanting to be loved by someone or have genuine friendships but i feel like thats never going to happen for me i have no self confidence and im tired of acting like i do i cant even sleep anymore because i lie awake thinking about how if i were to tragically pass away know one would care or know one would notice the cherry on top of my awful cake involves a girl i dated last summer at first she seemed like the best girl ever but when i tried to get close she just stopped talking to me recently i tried to get things started again and she said there was nothing there originally at all so i should just stop while im behind when she said that its like my inner being and any shred of confidence i had was shattered im tired of faking how i feel but to afraid to tell my few remaining freinds or my family how i feel for fear that theyll leave me ,3.0
9950,what a game by egypttotally worth it hope they can go all the way took forever to get home though  where were stewards after the game,2.0
9951,help whilst in quarantine and school being shit down we have moved onto online learning my home life is very disruptive and abusive so its extremely hard for me to do my work school is the only place i have ever felt safe and my school counsellor is the only person that i can openly talk to and actually gives a shit about me now that has been ripped away for months i have had  emails of angry teachers full caps asking me why i havent done any work i really cant i have no motivation and i really cant take all this isolation especially when im stuck with my abusive parents fuck i dont know what to do,3.0
9952,drewbrian yea next week ,0.0
9953,collinquick  tell me about it,2.0
9954,whydowork hey my password is not working and forgot password doesnt recognize me  can you reset me quotmcannonquot httpwwwwhydoworkcom,2.0
9955,nice day ,0.0
9956,its a real thunderstorm out there poor flams is walking to work in this  amp why am i up at  on a sunday,2.0
9957,alcohol taste better when youre sad,0.0
9958, this aint cool maybe i can get on the computer before i go to sleep hopefully,2.0
9959,penldn i need to but i cant do international traveling by myself ,2.0
9960,kchappers i tweeted you ,0.0
9961,still at workhad to manually calculate and now enter everything that usually would be there if our cell dyn had been working ,2.0
9962,  me in a nice topshop dress in the changing rooms ,0.0
9963,cherrybumbum ive already ask this you but do you know that bumbum means ass in portuguesebrazil ,0.0
9964,today didnt do anything to school like yesterday i am super class ,0.0
9965,myinnerboddi i love women who drive around topless ,0.0
9966,rt acloudboy dont u guys hate it when u listen to a good ass song but it reminds u of special people tht arent part of ur life anymore an,0.0
9967,tamewhale laughing so much now  ,0.0
9968,rt fitsveronica tatianafits ok this is embarrassing as hell but ive lost over  so far as well as most of the selfloathing anxie,1.0
9969,ihatedepression,2.0
9970,melania trump questions kathy griffins mental health after offensive decapitation picture goes viral  via youngcons,1.0
9971,my firstrecord was middle of nowhere hanson ,0.0
9972,at work my first twitter ,0.0
9973,is pisspoor right nowbuying all the stuff for san diego cleaned me outwhaaat the hell am i gonna do ,2.0
9974,wellbutrin xr might be causing brain smog and other nasty things  looking after feedback regarding this new  drug hey alllong post ahead  tldr available belowfor the past three days ive kinda been in limbo since saturday evening i have felt and gone through every supposed side effects you could imagine  brain smog headaches nausea loss of balance while walking mind emptiness difficulties to think right muscles pains amplified tinnitus pulsing invariably  i haves one kind of bursts happening etc ive been living with tinnitus for the past six or seven years thanks to a way too loud concert im also still working in the music industry with my earplugs on  im aint crazy dude so yeah im kinda supposed to get those along with some kind of audition loss ¯ツ¯ since i wasnt feeling well at all i went tonight to my general practitioner explaining what happened and is still happening he checked everything especially on the heart side and didnt see anything abnormal he also did a blood test of which i should get the results by wednesday the thing is all or this has never happened to me before and this shit is making me feel like ive been drugged hard for the past three god damn days speaking about drugs i did test three different antidepressants in the following order  escitalopram   did its job but wasnt enough on the long term  sexual side effects cymbaltaduolexitine   still wasnt enough insomnia kicked hard still some issue on the sexual side and finally wellbutrin xr   what im taking at the moment does a good job to help me get up in the morning and on the sexual side speaking of which ive been taking this new drug for nearly  days transitioning from cymbalta to it i still had to take  of cymbalta for  days along with taking the wellbutrin xr all of this having been done under the supervision of my psychiatrist now to get to the point  i didnt feel anything wrong for the first  days except that i still had to make a big effort to be able to sleep and to get out of my bed in the sometimes  very late morning i didnt really think anything of it since getting results from a new drug always takes timei did take the drug as prescribed and took as needed for a few nights a lormetazepam  in order to be able to sleep two days past on and then the shitstorm happened as described above since the preliminary symptoms looked like an anxiety episode i did try everything to calm down and get back to a normal state after trying many things during the saturdays night ive ended up taking a quarter of a trazolam   which clearly didnt do anything in the end here i am tonight at home still having that freakin headache and brain smog of course im gonna give a call to my psych asap just to let her know of what is happening to me since i was supposed to see her this thursday i tried to take it on me  but please dont do the same if something wrong happens to you getting medical advises on the web is not the way to go and this post hasnt been made in order to get those but if it happens that you have lived the same kind of side effects while taking this wellbutrin xr i would love to get your feedback and maybe an not so awesome story like mine tldr  i was prescribed a new med for my depression wellbutrin xr  seems like shits happened because of it with a lot of side and undesirable effects  summed up by a big brain smog im taking care of it but im looking for some feedbacks regarding this drug which seems like to be new in the field sorry in advance if you spot some typos or bad grammar  writing all of this while living this shit took a lot of effort,3.0
9975,stress keeps building,1.0
9976,at work on a sunday ,2.0
9977,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
9978,lauraartist wishing you a great day ,0.0
9979,wants some ice cream  i need to cut this shit out,2.0
9980,rt gutierrezmariaj todas las cosas que dije que iba a hacer estas vacaciones y acá estoy acostada mirando el techo que sad,2.0
9981,no classes for  days because of typhoon feria ,2.0
9982,jasoncorriher damn right it paysill explain later ,0.0
9983,things i used to do with huge joy now feels like the responsibilities i have to do for looking okay i miss the days that i was happy with all the things i enjoy i miss the days that my mind was free from the ocd anxiety depression its almost  years since i have become way more obsessed i think i was always like this but its getting serious and harder to deal with it i obsessed about things that even most obsessive people would laugh me if i told my obsessions im tired of thinking talking dreaming sleeping im tired of talking about my obsessions with people wouldnt understand me they probably think like so why dont you stop thinking about that i feel like my brain is older than my bodyand i started to have feelings for a girl few months ago i started to think maybe she could help me through this times i tried so many ways to get to connection with her i couldnt you cant imagine how much i tried to meet with her talk with her we are in same school so we are so close the each other generally but at the same time i feel like im so far away from she ill leave the school in few months and the fact that i wouldnt see her again its make so depressed i cant believe im just watching my dreams going away and couldnt do anythingso this makes the things worse but all i want was helpim too shy to go the therapist i dont know if thats helps i heard all they do is talking like aww it will be okay and giving some legal drugs i dont want iti used to dream things that makes me push harder through my life but now im so tired i used to dream climbing to everest becoming a engineer in  have a family but now i have no power to keep going in this way,3.0
9984,i love hanging with chloekins ,0.0
9985,iammatthew sorry bud  im in duvall eatin awesome burritos,2.0
9986,yesss im up been up for like an hour amp a half for a damn good reason  back to sleep til  ahhhhhh,0.0
9987,going to sleep to retrorewind and hoping that nk land will be peaceful once again ,0.0
9988,mariatingstad i knew youd share my excitement living in australia means we dont have many options to buy greys stuff ,2.0
9989,giugarritano today ill back home later  i want to see what you wrote xx,2.0
9990, i hope you get well soon ,0.0
9991,my friend killed himself hello good peoplei have seen a few posts here lately from those very close to suicide i just wanted to hopefully share my perspectivemy friend killed himself he was acting strange he broke up with his long term girlfriend then stopped talking the next day his dad found him with his left wrist cuthe never knew who found him he never knew how many people cried at his funeral the funeral home was overflowing to the street so many people were affected deeply some of us having our own battles with depression presently and in the pasthis name was ben he was  he was a gentle kind man he was talented and beautiful he cared about animals and the environment things that matter but he most likely believed none of these good things about himself as is a symptom of the very much biological afflictionwe didnt know he suffered depression he told nobody i wish he had spoken but i too understand how hard it is to do to you if you have no hope please have faith there are people out there who can help you and if they only knew how you felt they would be screaming and begging for the opportunity to help you you deserve help nobody deserves depression it is not just a state of mind it is a real biological illness like arthritis or cancer it can be cured and when it is cured you will be stronger than ever having survived this destroyer of a disease please be strong enough to talk to someone,3.0
9992,did anyone watch burn notice i missed it ,2.0
9993,in every sense of the word i am friendless as the title says i am friendless a lot of people say that they dont have friends but have at least one close friend to confide in i dont have that and its been years since i had im only  years old almost  nearing the end of my junior year at this age i should be experiencing the highlight of my life like my peers well im not i have a best friend if you can even call her that though shes toxic to my mental health and never has much to say during my darkest times she isnt someone i can trust i only keep her around so i can look like i have friends and pretend that im not as alone as i am other than her i am still friendlessmy high school is not your average high school there are very very few teens per grade its a collegiate academy where everyone already has their friend groups and i dont fit into any of them i can not approach these people because ive already known as the girl with crippling social phobia the girl to be avoided but ive always thought of myself as a good person despite it all i have a kind personality beneath my horribly introverted exterior and im loyal to any friend that comes by only to leave me again in a matter of weeks despite the bullying and neglect i never let it ruin my personality yet people look at me and think im the quiet kid or the school shooter or friendless i hate the labels and they dont seem to go awaypeople tell me that i should keep trying though make friends they say i simply cant this isnt just the case in my school either i live in a town so small that you can almost call it a village there are never events or public places with people who share my interests i hate it here but since im technically a minor there is no escape from it now you might be thinking that im the type of edgy teenager thats still stuck in a pool of self pity and came on this site to whine thats not it i just want to know does anyone else feel this way everyone else i meet has at least one close companion and it makes the loneliness worse i feel like no one can relate to my situation wasis this the case for anyone else how diddo you cope with it,3.0
9994,sriedel youre probably right ,0.0
9995,medication suggestions was taking effexor for around  months for anxiety and depression did not feel much benefit from the medication experienced lots of fatigue and anxiety this is my third anti depressant tried zoloft and lexapro and all of them did not help at all the sexual side effects were awful too when on effexor i couldnt keep an erection and i could not ejaculate what so ever i told my psychiatrist and we did wellbutrin with it which helped with the sexual side effects up to about  but still wasnt great i stopped cold turkey two days ago and felt fine that day and yesterday my libido returned within a day and i was back to normal however today i recently started feeling brain zaps as well as pretty bad nausea as well as being a lot more easily irritable how ever interesting enough i dont feel depressed and nearly as anxious as when i was on the medication ive been taking zolpidem about a month for insomnia and although i havent felt a tolerance build or any habit forming from it i stopped taking it because im scared of addiction even when prescribed i refuse to take narcoticsbenzosother habit forming drugs i was unaware of the habit forming potential of z drugs i have trouble sleeping too so i want to explore non habit forming options but i dont feel any effects from anti histamines but anyways i was wondering if anyone on this sub had any advice or suggestions about what worked for them in regards to withdrawal and other medications my psychiatrist keeps trying to push ssris on me even though i tell her i dont want to take them anymore im actively searching for a new doctor i know quitting cold turkey is pretty stupid but i can not deal with the side effects of these medications for another dayedit  also id like to add i was on the zoloft as well as lexapro for way longer then the effexor i quit them cold turkey after around a year of use and did not feel any withdrawal symptoms at all,3.0
9996,kristencampisi hahahhaha yeah wow didnt mean for it to come out that dirty ,0.0
9997,why is everything so hard im having a really bad mental day the past  days actually my boyfriend is being really mean to me for making a mistake i feel trapped in this relationship that i know is abusive everything is wrong i want to die and thats the only thing i can think about taking all my medications and ending it im sitting at work crying as i have been all day i go to the bathroom sit on the floor and cry i just want it end i dont want to feel this way anymore,3.0
9998,heading to a wedding ,2.0
9999,howlostweare say hi for me ,2.0
10000,therealnobody damn boy haha u kno everything about me ,0.0
10001,were nothing without   ssf is jjang as much as snsd is jjang weeee im surrounded with great people ,0.0
10002,resist resistance ,2.0
10003,jaysetokevinspacey i loved you in american beauty which is my favourite movie and i think your amazing please visit sydney ,2.0
10004, i read in the support section that its a known problem and they quotare working on itquot ,2.0
10005,sassyradish i love the idea that youre waiting for it to get cold  for a steak tasting ,0.0
10006,probably the first time ive seen the sun rise ,0.0
10007,my anxiety may actually kill me,2.0
10008,ended up not adopting betsey baxter and her didnt really see eye to eye ,2.0
10009,polarisvansamus why are you sad all the time,2.0
10010,michellev  ok hope you can make it,2.0
10011,danaloulou awww ok  believe what u want dana  ps fun fact i was obsessed with jesse in dreamstreet days  like no joke obsessed,0.0
10012,rt jassaeee youre loyalty dont match mine  the sad part is i thought it did,1.0
10013,why am i so depressed i was diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder a few years ago after  suicide attempts after being hospitalized i started meds switched high schools and was doing better this fall i started college and first semester i was motivated and doing great got a  gpa but at the start of second semester i slacked started missing school a lot my grades have gone down and i just feel like ive lost all motivation ive hardly gone to school the past few weeks all i do is lay in bed all day i dont want to do anything i doubled my antidepressants but it doesnt seem to be helping i just have no desire to do anything why is it suddenly back why wont the meds help anymore ,3.0
10014,brucehoult im usually the one who keeps track of what time my friends tweet often it is the ones overseas ,0.0
10015,rt sarahsamedi anxiety level unconsciously grinding my teeth,2.0
10016,layin in bed awake txtin my girl in vegas wishin i didnt have to work and i was w her ,2.0
10017,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
10018,good night  take care ,0.0
10019,rt spanishcvndy walking in the mall i feel like everyone is staring at me ,0.0
10020,my response to a guy with similar problems we are in the same situation ive been strugglin,3.0
10021,my episode of chopped is on the food network again right now  everytime its on i hate canned peaches more and more ,2.0
10022,hey jonasbrothers r u gonna come to pland this year  jonasliveonfb,0.0
10023,tips for pulling out of a deep tangled depression ive lived with anxiety and depression for as long as i can rememberim  ive always been alone aside from a shortlived marriage i have extremely low self esteemi cant even look in mirrors when im not home and dont feel like i have anything to offer to this world that can justify me staying here ive alienated myself from family for various reasons and i have no friends or any form of a support system i constantly struggle with suicidal thoughts and finding the motivation to go on with each passing day im extremely introverted so even the thought of calling and setting up an appointment with a health care professional sends me into a panic attack i dont see this post going anywhere but i guess any advice would be appreciated,3.0
10024,electrikated suit yourself ,0.0
10025,nose is still clogged  mannnnn i cant tell if its asthma or if im still sick,2.0
10026,feels underestimated ,2.0
10027,the book drive was a success thanks to everyone who came our to pig n whistle ,0.0
10028,the only thing that would make this perfect is if my boy were here ,2.0
10029, haha yes we were he loved us ,0.0
10030,gonzpiration argh coupure  non   world record attempt in paris live gt ,2.0
10031,obsessing about inability to change poor habits procrastination escapism just attended an old high school classmates funeral were only  so it was quite a tragic moment but i couldnt even feel sad as i shook his mothers hand because in my own head id become consumed with my hangups and insecurities about my time in high school after  years of almost zero communication i met several of my old classmates again most of them had moved onto the next stages of their lives and seemed to be adapting to adulting i havent just like i struggled at the end of high school im currently on the verge of flunking out of my final year of university my high school ex was there and in talking to her i realised that all my relationships since all unsuccessful have just been a repeat of the mistakes i made with her whenever the going gets hard in my studiesrelationshipslife i just procrastinate and ultimately run away i escape into the bread and circuses of personal entertainment  gaming films mangaanime porn nicotineweed  until its too late and hard as i try ive never been able to break this behavioural patterni realise that im young and that there is a long ways to go i have and will change over time whether im aware of it or not but it just hasnt turned out the way i intended after high school i made it my mission to change and set out to do things id never thought id do i entered the army for  years volunteered for leadership roles and completed a parttime diploma i went to uni on the other side of the world participated in student leadership tried new hobbies and made new friends etc i tried to become a different person essentially and as part of that sought to physicallyemotionally distance myself from my high school existencebut now again its become clear that my worst habits have remained unchanged and honestly im just tired of trying like whats the point from a purely objective standpoint i know that im probably ok a flawed but acceptable human being who can contribute to society but subjectively i feel like a massive disappointment i have a wonderful family thats supported me in every way possible i have no physical or mental limitations i have decent social skills and get along with most everyone the few times ive pulled it together ive achieved excellence theres no reason that i shouldnt reach the relative success of my peers but i havent changed and may never will i will continue getting by on the undeserved kindness and trust of others its an insult to the memory of my friends who have passed away to the  of the world whove not had the opportunities ive hadafter the funeral some of us from the class had dinner together and one guy asked the table what drives you all to just keep living and no one not even the religious really had an answertldr i dont even know if im depressed because the very expensive psychiatrist ive been seeing says im not and has just been giving me ritalin i just know that this  issue comes up often here on reddit and was wondering if anyone has some insight on how to keep on going,3.0
10032,just playin around ,0.0
10033,ladysov   omg ur soooooooooooo beautiful  if i were in ur shoes ill certanlly came to brazil ,2.0
10034,good morning everybody hope you didnt wake up to snow on the ground like we did arggghhh my poor tulips i can see them shivering ,2.0
10035,leetje the episode gave me an idea for a story but really its my favourite because we get to see more of josef ,0.0
10036,ripping out the bathroom on hotest day yr duh and the job is bigger than we thought  duh,2.0
10037,is feeling very unwell and is developing a nasty flu ,2.0
10038,is someone here who curred chronic depression i dont know what to do i realized that i have depresssion already  years and when this year started i went to therapy but i dont see any result i feel even worse now im so lost with this and my only friends started ignorkng me so now i really just want to stay home and slowly die on my bed and sorry for interupting you guys but i needed to throw this out form me and this looks like a good place to do this,3.0
10039,how do you get something out of your head its been  year since i met her and im like addicted to her i m missing tge feeling of being with her she makes me feel normal but when im not with her its driving me insaneim no more proud of my own work i get angry for every little thing im not motivated for anything cant sleep dont want to get out of bed she feels lime a drug to me and i cant get her out of my head,3.0
10040,had a bath i had a bath for the first time in two weeks i know im gross okay i know and im very tired now but i did it i just really struggle to take care of myself rn and i dont want to see my body because i just hate myself,3.0
10041,just woke up ,0.0
10042,loveomglamez  i think you should come gtlt,2.0
10043,mum gave me a freddo to cheer me up but he made me more upset ,2.0
10044,im constantly anxious stressed and walking around life with a pit in my stomach i dont know what to do im so exhausted all the time and dont know how to snap out of this feeling,3.0
10045,pass the parcel boom boom clap boom de clap de clap ,0.0
10046,no matter what i do everything is the same no matter what i do in life i always end up with the same results depressed and lonely i almost feel guilty about feeling this way because i really am blessed in so many ways i live in the greatest country on earth usa i have such an amazing and understanding family and i have the best friends a guy could ask for i eat healthy work out a lot and i am pretty good looking not trying to be cocky i had an incredible childhood and i excelled in sports and school i have pretty much everything i could ever ask for the problem is when i was  or  i got very depressed after a tough break up i became extremely self destructive and tried to drink away all of my problems i was drinking every single day of my life for years and everything just kept getting worse and worse through it all i somehow managed to stay a functioning member of society as far as working and paying my bills went but school took a backseat for a couple years the last couple years i was able to slowly start trying at life again im almost done with my second year of college and im  months sober except for weed a couple times a week i was able to get closure on my past relationship and really move on no matter what i do the feelings that it caused just continue to stick with me im so fucking depressed and just sick of life and everything that comes with it im sick of working going to school and even maintaining relationships with these amazing people in my life i really dont know what my next step is in trying to fix myself because it feels like i have tried everything i want to put myself out there and meet an amazing girl that loves me but i dont want to use a relationship as a means to bring myself happiness i desperately want to fix myself before latching onto someone else for the rest of my life at this point i cant even really imagine what my future might be like it would be so much easier if i could just stop existing altogether i hate everything about myself and i truly do not know why,3.0
10047,getting this overwhelming feeling of emptyness and that theres no future for me so ive been feeling like this for a few months now and its slowly getting worst i no longer find any interest in things i used to enjoy like sports school video games ect every day is so repetitive i feel a little bit more miserable each day its gotten to the point where i have trouble going to sleep and then waking up to go to class ive slept through half of my classes every day this week and my momteachers are mad at me for it but i dont know what to tell them i think is become a big problem now the only thing i still enjoy is socialising with friends and girls but most of them only have a chance to do so on weekends and then still its only for a couple of hours since everyone is so busy most of the time i think ive gone on and on too much but if anyone has this problem too or mabey you have encountered it in the past any advice might help at this point thanks,3.0
10048,icasillasf   you must be missing him ,2.0
10049,see you all later  gunna watch a movie,0.0
10050, yes if you like  must pack now ,0.0
10051,if there is a god prove it maybe this is just my hail mary my last attempt at expressing myself i feel my life has too many problems they wouldnt all fit into a single paragraph im only a teenager but i cant deal with myself or my life anymore i have been treated so badly i have no concept of self esteem right now im crying because everything feels out of control and i have nothing consistent anymore no one cares about me or at least not to my satisfaction every dream i had for myself has been crushed by life and other people i dont feel bad about making my family sad when i kill myself because they have caused me so much pain i have tried and tried i have always stressed does this person like me or not and been anxious af im depressed because i have nothing to live for im depressed because i am hopeless i am nothing and will always be nothing i am alone and will always do everything alone i look at other girls and wish i could be like them i wish i could have that effortless confidence they have i wish i could have a fair chance i cant go to college i dont even think i can graduate high school because i have to work i want to stop cutting but its the one thing i have its mine no one can tell me to stop cutting this isnt for yall but pls chime in if u relate this is for god if you exist prove it and help out someone who has no way out if you are out there please take all this pain away i hate this life i have if anything is fair save me ,3.0
10052,coleimperi thanks for sharing your review  the food looks amazing,0.0
10053,xanthetwirls it might not be their cuppa but man get over it i hear the same kind of thing about mpreg mine is damn good so there ,0.0
10054,feel sick and my neck is really sore ,2.0
10055,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,2.0
10056,rt adrianstier i suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks throughout my phd and postdocs youre not alone in feeling depressed an,2.0
10057,back from yosemite ,2.0
10058,hows everyone doing its a long night for me no sleeping today ,2.0
10059,i feel like im circling the drain  yo  years divorced didnt end up with much of a support system when all the friendships shook out after a  year relationship  married ive been managing to keep it together for my  yo son but tonight a really promising relationship ended because she completely fairly told me she couldnt be involved with someone who has such obvious issues that are not being dealt with cant afford therapy depression is affecting work and family is semiestranged and has a solid track record of not being helpful on the emotional frontso no friends no family got dumped things are getting worse no money for therapy and i feel like im becoming less functional by the dayso lets just say less than hopeful,3.0
10060,also its funny bc its maddys birthday today and she got an ipad what did i get for my birthday depression and yelled at and my,0.0
10061,missiva well goodnyte twiiter and u twitterers if thats what u call ppl hu twitter note to self keep up with twitter lingo  pea ,0.0
10062,craftychica  i love how positive you are i always look forward to seeing your tweets ,0.0
10063,and so the lion fell in love with the lamb  aww twilight i love ittt,0.0
10064,found out my coworkers have a conspiracy against me not really a conspiracy but a lot of the morning staff that i use to work with have been telling the new people to avoid talking to me i just found this out the other day and it kinda hit me hard i knew people were spreading shit but its work and people spread rumors but finding out someone has actual malicious intent sucks the little interaction i get with people via work has slowly trickled even further im just so done not feeling human feeling like the whole room is judging me im tired of convincing myself that is all in my head and finding something like this is happening i know i should find a new job but im a high school drop out with no car and few full time jobs in the area i just dont know if this place is killing me more than its sustaining me,3.0
10065,bought photoshop for my macbookpro  i lovelovelove my new laptop so fast and amazing hwhwhw  alias tehe,0.0
10066,thijs i very much did thank you too ,0.0
10067,is their anyway to snap out of a financial depression its just that ever since i turned  and graduated high school almost a year ago now i felt like i needed a job that didnt involve working at a grocery store for minimum wage with less than  hours a week while living in my parents basement so i decided to try being an electricians apprentice almost immediately after i was done with school but that didnt work out i lasted less than  weeks but i while i was sad i was also happy that i got fired because in those  weeks i did not like it one bit i couldnt understand it and it was making me unhappy so i went back to work at my grocery store where i work now im  in debt which i know to some people is nothing but i dont get a lot of hours so that  doesnt help me feel any better a lot of times i feel like im never going to amount to anything when ever i go to bed all i can think about some times is how im never going to be successful in life and not be financially independent i look at my parents and wonder how they do it with my dad working  hours a week as a truck driver and my mom being a bus driver sometimes i just think to myself that im letting them down and then that fear of mine creeps in that ill never be financially successful when i dont work i just lock myself in my room all day and isolate myself wanting to forget about the worldso people of reddit has anyone ever had a similar experience and is there any way to stop it ,3.0
10068, very sad  ill have to research that some but it happens all too often law enforcement is a very h ,2.0
10069,my teeff hurt ,2.0
10070,bakit ba hanggang ngayon may tao pa ring nangengeelam kung ano itweet ng iba ok sad ako but dont tell me i cant v ,2.0
10071,regaining motivation after a lapse in recovery im finishing up college and will be graduating this semester and was doing pretty good keeping a positive perspective and working hard on my classes with the idea that this work ethic would help me in my new job  all that positivity stopped for no reason and its like i have absolutely no energy  im selfloathing sleeping in bed way later than i should be not studying when i should be and spending all my time on reddityoutube whittling my time away  i dont know what gives but i want to find a way to stop this  its killing me inside and i dont know what to do,3.0
10072,love you wesley  and amanda says heyyy,0.0
10073,rt outterspaceswag caught feelings  depression naps,2.0
10074,i was hopeful for   sucked i mean i know it wasnt the best for many people but this year sucked what i thought was a close sibling drifted away from me my father went to prison for assaulting my mother being caught in the middle of my parents fights stress of school  another year of being completely and utterly single yet i still tried to be happy tried to have some form of hope new years has always been my favorite holiday people drinking being hopeful for the future i tried and i tried really hard new years eve was going fine a normal dull day yet i was so excited to make some improvements yet right when the clock hit midnight i got a notification my well what i thought was a close friend basically said i wasnt happy enough around her so we arent friends anymore now im just left here thinking about everything i could have done better be better i fail at so many things but i always thought of myself as a good friend but i guess i failed at that too haha i wanted  to be so many things i wanted to  be hopeful but that text from her was just a reminder that a new number cant change anything i know i need to try to take action and change but its not that simple hell it took me three years to clean my room three years to get that motivation and clean clean by throwing away my childhood toys tossing away memories the stress of school the stress of being social i dont think i can handle this anymore last year i remember thinking this is going to be the year i end my life yet here i am but im thinking the same thing its a constant cycle and i honestly dont think i have enough to live for im an awful friend im a awful fucking sibling im a bad daughter i dont do shit i wont finish school i wont do anything with my life even if i have the most positive fucking attitude i dont think i can do it from  on my new years have been spent the same thinking this is the year i end my life i usually write it off as being sad that im a year older or that time flew but this year i think im at the end of my rope its like i was dangling over a cliff and each year i got more and more rope to try to pull myself up but i failed each time and now i have no more rope i was so excited i had hope but i guess i couldnt have that hope for too long right i dont deserve to have that kind of hope when i tell anyone how i feel i just get the try to be positive or the im sure things will work out by itself or take action ive done all of those and yet im still stuck i think i might spend some of  doing the things i want to do before i take my leave wrap up any loose ends try to fix some relationships but i ultimately hope i dont make it until   ,3.0
10075,i am getting worse day by day i feel empty and sad not all the time but about  of it for a month i keep having bad sleep scheduel probably insomnia or some shit its now  am and cant sleep i started having alot of anger issues lately my life started degrading daily one of the causes could be my girlfriend in which i invested all of my love i love her like no other girl before i could die for her given the chance the problem is i keep overthinking alot mostly based on our relationship i am also very jealous considering going to a psychiatrist this month also i need help sometimes i want to end it all,3.0
10076,hey jdedwards  stream is gone  streameme live gt ,2.0
10077,dshaf its not all even for longyeah wings ,0.0
10078,someone please help i dont understand edit this is a rant im hoping that if i put my thoughts out there someone can help meim sad and i dont fucking understand why im surrounded by good friends who all love me and remind me that im loved my family loves me and cares about me im doing good in school and have never done drugs or alcohol to make me act or feel strange im smart and have done amazing things in my life like get a nasa internship but why is it not enoughi think like a scientist if i want to know something i learn about it but i dont know this feeling and it hurts inside it makes me feel alone and really really insignificant it makes me want to feel loved to make people happy  i do that though i tell jokes and make my friends laugh i even made a room at our school for engineering that we called the nerd lab and all my friends come up there to hang out with me im surrounded by good friends who love and care about me but yet something doesnt feel like its good enough for me its eating me alive because i dont know iti understand how the planets work and the basics on how to land a man on the moon but yet i cant fucking comprehend what it is that has suddenly transformed over me it feels empty it makes me mad because its unknown to me i want to feel happy i want to feel loved significant anything i want this horrible feeling to go awaypart of me is nagging at me to stop being a little bitch to just put on a smile and move on but the analytical part of me the one that drives my every action is demanding i find the cause of this and destroy it find this cure that exists a cure for happiness i feel like im a good person no i know i am i make sure i dont hurt anyone and try to teach others how to do good share my knowledge learn from my mistakes ive been told im a sweet and loving person but yet i havent dated in four years ive only had one relationship and im convinced it was my one in a millionwhat is it what is fucking with my mind and my heart i want to be happy i want other people to see me as happy i just got done with texting to my friend for an hour and a half about this and she said that part of it is my genius personality to where i understand machines and science but cant read people or emotions and the other part is that im not happy with myself i need to be happy with myself before i try to go and make others happy the entire time she kept reminding me that its ok to feel sad and to cry its natural that im surrounded by friends who love me and care about me so so much but something is still wrongwhy why is it not enough for me what is this this curse that has consumed me is it depression hell if i know ive had friends with horrible lives and witnessed true depression im not even going to insult them by saying im depressed theres the part of me that says to stop being a little bitch im going to stop im sorry,3.0
10079,just woke up breakfast time  ,0.0
10080,gabflat it was hot n cold by katy perry i know im supposed to hate her and suchbut that song just works for right now ,0.0
10081,for you who suffer from yearly reoccurring depressive episodes do your episodes always last for the same amount of time each year or does it vary i had my first episode last year  weeks and i think its happening again had to quit several courses at my university last year due to my depressive episode i have to finish one year later because of it now im feeling depressed again and im so scared that the same thing is going to happen and that it will last for weeks  ,3.0
10082,wizardjks morning ,0.0
10083,richarddrumm not at home dont have scope ,2.0
10084,but on the plus side all  of us get  dollars off of a flight so were planning our trip to greece ,0.0
10085,i cant look at myself in pictures camera etc my face is so grotesque and marked up and i did this to myself i hate looking at myself and i try to take care of myself by washing my face eating better etc im just so busy with school and other things ive been crying for the past  and i just want to feel normal,3.0
10086,terencejr hop on the texas baseball bandwagon ,0.0
10087,loneliness is the worst the feeling of being alone is terrible i try to validate myself but being in relationships but i feel even shittier when i feel like either i can do better or they can do better the constant search for self validation is extremely difficult on me then when im single and have no one to talk to im constantly lower my standards just because im tired of being lonely,3.0
10088,watching walle and wishing i was at opgrad  but im a junior o,2.0
10089,camiknickers people are treating you like a callgirl ,2.0
10090,anxiety,1.0
10091,isplayer has died sorry ,2.0
10092,wish i wasnt ugly i fucking hate my life so much i wish i was more attractive women suck but youre not allowed to say it,3.0
10093,rt wmsapaches wcs teachers and admin take a course in mental health first aide by mha of wabash county  kids first even in summe ,0.0
10094,rt mymomologue i always thought the lyrics talking to myself and feeling old were about depression but they may be about conversing wi,1.0
10095,themikekelly im alive mike which is always a good thing  how about yourself ,0.0
10096,been on the beach sunning myself going in the water and really enjoying myself ,0.0
10097,feeling like my depression is coming back and hardtrying trying hard to keep a positive mind😔😔😔😔,1.0
10098,realmfox they say quotthe cure for boredom is curiosity there is no cure for curiosityquot follow me too beautiful so we can dm ,0.0
10099,rt spencerkk give me shelter give me peace  anxiety ,0.0
10100,depressed partner i suffer from gad and depression as well when i  f first met my partner  m about  months ago he was so radiant and positive all of the time he had motivation and rarely complained i was going through a really rough time and wasnt being treated for my anxiety or depression he was very patient and loving he stuck with me through one of my worst bouts of depression after seeking out a therapist and getting a little better the relationship anxieties began to disappear fast forward a month or so and he leaves to go out of town for tour hes gone for a week and i barely hear from him after he comes back he seems really off  he seems really tired and stressed out i dont think anything of it because i can only imagine how tiring being a touring musician can be as time goes on i notice him getting more and more irritable were having more talks about relationship problems this is all within the last month or so about  weeks ago i noticed that he was completely shutting down talking to me less frequently never really happy when i see him our conversations are always about his depression or stress we took a short weekend long break because he needed space and needed to go out of town for a bit when he came back it felt like things were better than ever then a few days pass and hes back to being depressed and reclusive again he apologizes to me quite frequently about how he feels that hes a bad boyfriend he talks down on himself a lot he thinks hes doing a terrible job at everything the thing is i understand what its like to be him right now ive been depressed my whole life hes trying to get help and im trying to be patient ive never been in a relationship with someone who has experienced depression like this and since i have it as well its incredibly triggering to my anxiety im starting to feel depressed myself i dont want to leave or give up i really care about him and know this will pass i just want my boyfriend back i guess my question is how the hell do i take care of myself while caring about him as well i know everyone has different needs when theyre depressed i need comfort and company he seems to need a lot of space i get really upset because im not getting enough attention or time from him and thats something i need but i cant expect it from him at this time i feel hopeless about the outcome but this is the best relationship ive had in my life so far what can i do to survive this with him i never knew how hard it could be tldr i suffer from extreme anxiety and depression and my partner has suddenly found himself in a very low place ive never been in this situation before and im panicking how do i manage to take care of me while caring for him as well,3.0
10101,i just switched to effexor xr and now i feel worse twenty three year old female here ive been on antidepressants for about six years now for about three years i took citalopram until it stopped working then i got switched to escitalopram which made me feel better for about a year but then eventually resulted in me feeling flat and apathetic my psychiatrist added busiprone twice a day and i did this for about two years which helped until recently i just started seeing a new doctor and told him that i felt like the escitalopram and busiprone werent working to their full effect anymore he prescribed me effexor xr which ive been on for about  days now and i feel like ive been going insane i have been feeling the common side effects of nausea sweating and headaches but ive been experiencing insane mood swings and a worsening in my depression and anxiety ive been feeling suicidal for the first time in a long time due to the amount of anxiety that i have and ive been having several mental breakdowns where i just cry and cry for hours has anyone else experienced this do i need to see my doctor and ask him to take me off of it or will it get better with time as the medicine gets into my system im really scared i feel like ive been going crazy and i dont know how much more i can handle im a student and i work so i was hoping for an easy transition with this new medicine but i got the complete opposite of that ,3.0
10102,i want the data plan i want my iphone to not be the loser of all iphones without the  ,2.0
10103,kurtismarsh hey you its thefairypond i am back with a new name and new purpose   hows life  btw  i have lots of salt water here ,0.0
10104,getting ready for tonight ,0.0
10105,depression sucks yo,1.0
10106,alone in a house full of people does anyone else live in a house full of people but feel totally alone no one i can talk to about my depression or the lie im living wife ignores it and too much to put on to the kids so i suffer in silence,3.0
10107,finished my video ha just a minute anyways its pretty awesome haha  its a fun video,0.0
10108,demongirly finally got some sleep last night ,0.0
10109,suicide cuz of my close set eyes is it normal that i think about suicide everyday because of my close set eyesall i think all day is how would i fucking be happy if i had a normal facei used to be a very social and confident dude i didnt think i was gorgeous but didnt think i was ugly neither just averageand then one day out of the blue i realized i had fucking close set eyes since then im fricking dead in the insidei dont wanna wake up in the morning and the most scariest parts of my day is passing in front of a glassi mean closed lights in the bathroom otherwise my heart stops beating and the rest of my day im just a ghostits fucked up what it can do to you thinking about dying everydaythe best part is that every other problem disappearall of my girlfriends complaints and my financial issues they just seem pointless nowim just waiting for a brave occasion to die so my life wont be in vainits just a sad life you know pretending to be happy with your gf friends siblings just to make them happy they wouldnt understand what its like to hate the fucking body youre stuck in everyday life for them just seem fucking simple and happy it was nice to know you friends see you on the other side xxx,3.0
10110,pursebuzz those are super cute enjoy ,0.0
10111,good morning guys this morning will be so funny im so excited later ill post the photos from school its not so cold today  see ya,2.0
10112,gemheaven yes im fine thanks took last week off as i was ill and just been really busy with orders and things  ,0.0
10113,stereophonics   i feel really emotional  its been great seeing your pics and keeping up with you  gonna m ,2.0
10114,home early  im craving chinese food so bad but have noone to go with gay,0.0
10115,marleematlin   you both look great ,0.0
10116,dont get me wrong i love the newsleader and momslikemecom but they lost my  and payment information no check for me yet ,2.0
10117,provoque hi  was really nice meeting you and  i had so much fun at the football restaurant ,0.0
10118,eating pork amp herbed lentils ,0.0
10119,tips on how to heal broken selfasteem ive gotten a lot better recently with the help of medication but im still struggling with an apalling selfasteem and im not sure how to improve it my parents used criticism as the sole tool of parenting and its so ingrained into my way of thinking i taught myself multiple instruments by the age of  without instruction i was an amazing kid but i was only criticized for playing too fast or not being good enough no matter what i did i now have problems feeling good about anything i do im terribe at praising myself and can only focus on what i fail at i tried to talk to my bf and i think im annoying him when i complain about my parents he told me to get over it and let it go basically but its not so easyany tips on how to improve selfimage i know im good i just cant feel it,3.0
10120,kiranchetrycnn for someone who is sick you look great keep it up ,0.0
10121,jasonmanford thank you thought we were going to lose it ,2.0
10122,katiemccullough i think that sounds like a great idea and im sure you will secure the funding no problems see you soon then ,0.0
10123,think i was right they are knocking the house down next door to me ,2.0
10124,sometimes i regret not doing a better job when i tried to kill myself two separate attempts the second more serious than then the first but none the less i was feeling low enough and hated myself enough to the point where an exit from life was better than dealing with it anymoreafter a few months of daily group therapy and the false sense of securityroutine in the psych ward i genuinely felt much better but i digress now enough has piled up on me weighing me down again and very much like i felt a decade ago i dont have any energy to help myself i only have energy to hurt myself and i truly hate not having control over these thoughts and mood swings now im an adult with bills to pay and a girlfriend who i cant talk to anymore because all i do i hurt her my cats are the only things that make me get out of bed the past few weeks im afraid the the medicine cabinet is my next exit i wont even have the energy to read comments im surprised i am even typing this out at all,3.0
10125,tephanyanne good to hear ,0.0
10126,ahh got to get to the video rental store must make it before  or theyll charge me a late fee ,2.0
10127,back to sideways ,0.0
10128,hundred days i just got back from a big event its called hundred days basically its a celebration where seniors celebrate their last  days at school and i was invited to spectate that event by my senior friend and now after the event i feel very depressive the thought that my friend is going to go on with his life is happy and sad at the same time he is a dear friend to me and seeing him leave really makes me want to cry i remember all of the times we had when we were little how do i deal with this,3.0
10129,so much housework to do i want my mum back ,2.0
10130,lilhenchmen i no it sucks ,2.0
10131,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
10132,ive given up but im too scared to commit suicide im so numb i can usually fake happiness well but im so goddamn tired that ive gave up for the most part my parents finally noticed something was up when i was laying on the couch almost motionless giving them short answers i dont feel like doing anything even getting up in the morning for school is exhausting i started restricting calories less than  because i want to be bone thin ive been trying to exercise as well but its so hard to do more than twenty minutes i get so tired and dizzy ive also been cutting a bit im a  female  and  pounds i want to be underweight the funny thing is im still semitrying in school not as much as i used to but i make sure i dont fail because i dont want to ruin my future completely i feel a bit motivated by my friends and art class when i go as well when i get home i lay down trying to get rid of my hunger and watch youtube thats about itmy doctor prescribed me zoloft for anxietydepression but ive been throwing it out instead of taking it i hate that everyone thinks you cant  be your own person without your medication if you have any and counselors counselors are shit too i stopped seeing mine because it was so easy to lie to her face and my parents were just wasting money so i pretended i was fine  its getting harder to do that nowive gone back and forth about suicide and ultimately i dont my life to end but i also dont want to be here i hate everything,3.0
10133,izzylightning  im supposed to be studying,0.0
10134,on break at work yay ,0.0
10135,denissenj omg that sucks im  doing homework too but its  here  if i had food id send u but i am hungry myself lol,2.0
10136,indiedanielle dont worry i bought the shoes knowing that they would find a good home even if it wasnt mine ,2.0
10137,i got home now from an important matchi am very tired but we won in the match ,0.0
10138,psychology exam tomorrow ergh  time to fail,2.0
10139,lamunro youre so kind ,0.0
10140,jonathanrknight she will be  on the  amp wants to see nkotb so bad on the  but i couldt get tickets in time  shes a blockhead ,2.0
10141,no matter how many times i watch iti still cant believe rachel dies ,2.0
10142,arconic thanks  im neither a blogger or a tv personality so no chance of me becoming that ,0.0
10143,jessssskearney yay thanks ill let you know closer and probs see you there ,0.0
10144,athenatori hahaha awww  eu to com  no meu   err isso soou confuso,2.0
10145,i meant ho damn it see now im getting confused ,2.0
10146,all time low interview today   thanks for all the good luck msgs and questions ,0.0
10147,annie is over  now can rest a bit haha ,2.0
10148,mikegentile miss you guys already gutted we didnt get to say goodbye to you mike ,2.0
10149,chelseasmile haha i was exaggeratingit just hurts cause of the weather and i was standing a lot today ,2.0
10150,pretty good weekend ,0.0
10151,deepikakini it is hard for all of us so dont worry ,0.0
10152,rt blueberryclntos imagina ouvir em solo brasileirobut i still want youyoure my tearwaiting for you anpanmanwhy youre sad  i do,0.0
10153,i knew it would be adam and kris but it still breaks my heart for danny ,2.0
10154,i have aspergers syndrome depression ehlers syndrome and ptsd im a  year old man with issues and need advice i have a history of zoosadism and that is where my ptsd stems from i did things i regret to this day from the age of  to almost  i have experienced increased severity of my depression as a result of my actions towards animalsbefore the age of  i was still depressed from about the age of  and still ongoing i want some advice that is the purpose of this post ehlers syndrome is a fault in the chromosomes which causes certain proteins to have different structures causing hyperflexibility can lead to chronic pain and persistent injuries assuming medications are recommended in my case for depression and ptsd do they lower my life span im a student and keep getting random flashbacks primarily flashbacks regarding what i did to animals this causes me distress and it is difficult to study i lost my pet a couple of days ago to illness and i have been devastated since then and unable to study properly im lagging behind in this area what to do regarding studies failure is not an option  i have an insatiable desire for revenge my desire to hurt animals is gone is seems it transferred to self hatred and revenge against people for my mistreatment it is a complex feeling my entire life revolves around this feeling revenge what can i do before the thoughts and desires become realas of right now im not receiving any form of assistance and i have been actively trying to get it for years right now doctors and psychologists are assessing my condition at a higher priority than others because of my grave symptoms ,3.0
10155,watching sea world videos on youtube  i really want to go    have a look  ,2.0
10156,i cleaned out my fridge  my fridge looks sad and lonely empty ,2.0
10157,my friend told me that was the definition of depression click click pulls cover over head 😏😏,2.0
10158,just being a dirty with taylor today d hah had a time last night gurl ,0.0
10159,supplements that work for me and are backed by actual science as you may or may not know you are a human being or not i dont know all of you personally and human beings have a neurochemistry that can fluctuate underperform overperform etc as somebody that just got out of a long term relationship my levels were all out of wack and a sadness i couldnt kick until i decided to do something about it my first step were these supplements this is all i take i find these best for anxiety depression memory and many other things the st johns wort especially is good vitamin  as well is very important for mood bone health and testosterone levels i bought them all off amazon im not saying you dont have to work out your issues and stuff but you cant begin to do that if youre neurochemistry is all out of wack please give these a try if you feel high levels of anxiety and depression google drug interactions before you take anything they really do help beta carotene dhea multivitamin backpackers extract rhodiola  ginkgo bologna st johns wort ashwaganda ltheanine prebioticprobiotic multivitamin ,3.0
10160,bobmaher spammity spam spammity spam  ,0.0
10161,is tweeting outdoors ,0.0
10162,shaundiviney bahahaha i agree with bradie swine flu and global warming are both over rated awww he would make a cute milhouse ,0.0
10163, with thanks  ♫ ,0.0
10164,my depression if taking away everything i love long story short i have treatment resistant depression after many years of ineffective treatment i did genetic testing and majority of medications dont work for me i tried ketamine infusions for almost a year every month and those are no longer working either im not longer the person i want to be my personality goofy creative hard working is gone i barely have energy to get through the day at work a job that im really passionate about i feel like my depression has become a huge burden to my family and partner im terrified of what will happen when i can longer even do my job and support myself im starting to think a lot about death and dying and how maybe im just not meant to be alive how maybe it will be better if i was dead that living as this shell of a person tldr my treatment resistant depression is ruining my career and relationships i dont know if theres a point to living anymore ,3.0
10165,jonasbrothers   lucky girlzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh man i wish i could be there ,2.0
10166,back to the hole in the ground tomorrow save me ,2.0
10167,gloomy day makes me feel great ,0.0
10168,does anyone else feel like theyve lost the ability to feel important things passion for me in this casei used to always have something to look forward to a project i was either dreaming of starting or was about to finish something that had me rolling out of bed in the morning something to occupy my thoughts during the day even if it was something little i was passionate over i still had things that made me ultimately happy and struck my balance and gave me purpose something to live forfor the last two years though ive lost it at first i blamed a lot of it on being busy andor feeling heartbreak over my last relationship  but now i recognize it as something more serious that i really cant denyi dont have anything to look forward to anymore it feels like i have nothing i feel so alone im so so happy to see my friends and boyfriend always doing something anything that fulfills them strikes their balance or makes them feel productive in any way but i have nothing other than binge watching youtube videos to make the time pass a bit less painfully and seeing others have what i no longer can have really stings it feels awful i feel so useless and so lost and people keep telling me its gonna be okay and that just hurts more because that isnt what i need to hear i know its gonna be okay in the long run but its not okay right now and im tired of people telling me im not trying hard enough when ive been putting myself out there as much as possible over the years i rarely let myself just sit around and feel sorry for myself im really tryingif it werent for the fact that i have a job id have nothing and i dont know what to do anymoredont worry im not suicidal im doing alright im just cripplingly sad and was hoping maybe someone could relate,3.0
10169,is talking in the phone w vatyavatya ☎ ,0.0
10170,seeking tips on being more social hi thanks for taking the time to read this my issue is really deep rooted from my childhood i never really went outside or made friends as a young kid i tend to keep to myself too much to the point it comes off as rude or insecure which makes me feel really uncomfortable when that is the opposite effect i want to give out to people im really a nice chill person if people got to know me but that is my problem i dont open up and never really have it scares me i dont know how to really be truthful and be a friend if i never really had one you know i want relationships and connections but having been solo has taken its toll and i just cant be arsed to make friends or be social for that matter if i try to i just feel like a phony with nothing to say im a young adult and this shit is really messing with my work life because every job i go to im known as the quiet guy sometimes i think if i had a girlfriend or someone i can be myself around i would be ok life would slowly repair itself but how can that ever happen if i dont want someone that close to me has anyone gone through this and what are steps to fix my behavior,3.0
10171,baby no phat   httptweetsg,2.0
10172,donniewahlberg its not just a loss to the fans  its a loss to you guys australia is an amazing country its a shame ,2.0
10173,rt  living with trauma sucks because i dont sleep  of the time my anxiety is always high and i cant even talk to anyone abou,1.0
10174,coffeeforcathy get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
10175,eskimosean part time  he is a very cool guy he beleaves in the lord like you and i do  have you ever herd of,2.0
10176,leighmlorentz wrist strain i was born with a shitty upper back and my anxiety causes stiff shoulders which resul ,2.0
10177,getting back on the train howdy all here is my storyi have struggled with mental issues for my whole life thanks to poor parenting and genetics and as a teenager i began taking prescribed medication to help me along with traditional therapy things went well got my shit together stopped taking stimulant medication at age  stopped antidepressants at age now i am  and recent traumatic life events have sent me into a familiar place and i do not feel in control of my life due to adhd depression and anxiety i have been seeing my therapist again for the last  months but do not feel improvementsmy psychiatrist from back then no longer takes insurance and i dont know if they have records from that long ago he practices under a whole different business i have an appointment with another psychiatrist in the near future im going to tell them this backstory and request to be put back on my previous medications vyvanse and celexadoes this sound like a reasonable plan to go about getting back on my medications,3.0
10178, go easy on the wine next time then  hahahaha ,0.0
10179,i miss my niece ,2.0
10180,dont want to get up this is the first sleep in ive been able to have in ages ,2.0
10181,which mobile r u talking about siju ,0.0
10182,lost her voice ,2.0
10183, why is daz so bad at call duty and he cant deny being terrible ,0.0
10184,crissangel excuse me mrcriss angel awsomeist guy everrr im at the luxor and i really wanna get a picture with you ,2.0
10185,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
10186,my best friend makes thee best birthday cards everrrrrrrrrr  ,0.0
10187,since upgrading to iphone os  the wifi range has dropped considerably and i cant find my upstairs router ,2.0
10188,tommcfly after you go to bed u can reply me right hehehe hav good dreams tom ,0.0
10189, i ate  now four sandwiches lol and off to bed nowmy eyes are burning and they tear a bit ,2.0
10190,äh its raining  again cant believe this ,2.0
10191,oh goodness at work already its so quiet without kids i think i like it ,0.0
10192,yah school tomorow with mr roberts and miss wilson ,2.0
10193,heading out to pick up some pool chemicals amp shop for grad dress for my soon to be middle schooler ,2.0
10194,i thought the apps were dinner and now im full ,2.0
10195,followfriday gabbler  hes a funny  kirstieallie  so funny drakeshipway  apps amp stuff cmoz  technology stuff amp laughs  my  ff,0.0
10196,good night loves ,0.0
10197,so cold just a song i listen to when i feel like this ,3.0
10198,positivecode owch thats unpleasant ,2.0
10199,i need to be hospitalizedbut my family wont take me help i am suicidalseverely depressedhave anxietyand i am addicted to watching things bad for me i overeatand i sleep a lot for my age its not good because i still have school and college up ahead but latelyi cant see far into my future cause all i can think about is death and me dying i really need to go and let my therapist know what should i do,3.0
10200,mrtweet re quot    roughly  days to be ready    and we are working hard to speed things upquot no rush ,0.0
10201,feeling alone lost used and unloved im sure this will just get lost in the sea of everyone else feeling like this dunno why im really even writing this guess it just feels good to get some thoughts out of my head maybe hoping starting a dialogue will make me feel better hope everyones hanging in there on this fine saturday,3.0
10202,i want to be buenoing ,2.0
10203,dianneunice ah okie guee buhbye good night na rin ,0.0
10204,doctoress what is better than doing work  ,0.0
10205,awesome another day is steamy raindoesnt help that i have not one but two cuts in my goloshes   this is not okay thanks a lot sperry,2.0
10206,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
10207,goood music morning ,0.0
10208,emeralddiscount thats fine not sure about forecast though ,2.0
10209,key this is just weird ,2.0
10210,rt vguptamd very interesting open access sunnybrook cmaj studylink between media suicide report and suicide deathhttpstcoxs,1.0
10211, september  i want to say haha its no biggie im not going to farmigton anymore im going to massachusetts now ,0.0
10212, no i would like this yesterday i talked with alyso stoner xd and benton sent me a private messae and coment me here ,0.0
10213,its raining again  im so in the mood for a cup of tea but i cant go downstairs cause id wake up my parents,2.0
10214,my yarns are absent from my shop today for a lys visit but i still have lots of roving and patterns at httpfibrofibersetsycom ,0.0
10215,is really frustrated with her knee brace come on july  already ,2.0
10216,has butterflies for the first time in a really long time ,0.0
10217,midwestspitfire i feel weird liking these tweets but you describe depression so well that ive got to hang in there,1.0
10218,feel tired of life i feel depressed and tired of life at only  years old only  year ago i was happy and excited about life i started to follow my hobby for cardistry if you are interested there are videos of me doing this on account anyway i was just training and making videos and i loved it j was excited by the support and the feedback from people on my videos i had a lack of selfconfidence so i liked having the pleasant and positive opinions of people on my videos and my work on my hand dexterityi was very lonely not a lot of friends but i was still very happy i didnt even think about having friends until the day when making videos bored me a little and from that day the feeling of loneliness took hold in me and i feel very lonely and especially very tired of life i do not really know what to do to relight this joy and this excitement that i had in me before,3.0
10219, yay  oh and dont hate on gingers,0.0
10220,ninghil it was fun luke jickain was there sigh abs  whaaaaaaaat why not  arent you friends with one of the designers,2.0
10221,im taking a quarter away from school like the title says right now im just so stressed and living with multiple panic attacks a day ive decided to better my mental health thing is now i feel extra stress because of the classes and friends ill be missing out on depression just fucking sucks it takes guilt to the next level and amplifies that im so done feeling sick every single day its such a brutal fight,3.0
10222,wendyandlisa  sorry lisa i missed it  ,2.0
10223,gooo move up by    businessweekcom,0.0
10224,my hips hurt it makes me feel very old ,2.0
10225,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
10226,alright going to get some breakfast ,0.0
10227,nobody likes me confirmed ive always had this irrational fear that everyone around me just fundamentally didnt like me i tried so hard to be accommodating and shift my personality to make it easiest on them my previous job i felt like every person there had something against me even though i had never done anything to them i quit and got a new one the same thing happened everyone was meaner with me than with others i told myself that it was unlikely and i was probably just imagining it then i hung out with a friend from work and after much gentle prying he admitted that they all agreed they dont like me because im too energeticright before he told me that i got into with a coworker because i made a joke and he wasnt in the mood long story short he told me he doesnt like me as a person and that i shouldnt talk to him so i guess people actually dont like me thats nice to know ,3.0
10228,evilmaharaja have lots of fun ,0.0
10229,jackmuldowney tonight i wont be in town until tomorrow ,2.0
10230,having a very good monday ,0.0
10231,but a funny aspect is that unlike normal anxiety moments hearing people laugh feels good iif its a goofy kinda character,1.0
10232,another night where i fall victim to my depression no one tells you how hard it can get the repeating lines in ,2.0
10233,listening to some music and just chillingill probably regret not getting work donebut till then im just gonna kick back ,0.0
10234,off to work now and last day of the easter holidays so back to college aswell tommorow ,2.0
10235,nitey nite twitterland  gotta take the kiddo for an early morning dr appt  round  of chicken pox vaccination ,2.0
10236,im baccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccck ,0.0
10237,saltymomma oh yeah thats pretty bad  hope she recovers really quickly ,0.0
10238,i hear its a scorcher back home  all weve got here are clouds  back in the studio maybe if were lucky we might get  songs done ,2.0
10239,another dull day today  i want the sun back,2.0
10240,off to work coffee first ,0.0
10241,naw the original planet of the apes ill have a marathon ,0.0
10242,squarespace theres a lotta people squarespacingstarting to think i might go buy a lottery ticket and buy an iphone with the winnings ,2.0
10243,depression and adhd intersection hi  year old recently diagnosed with major depressive disorder here i was diagnosed with adhd at like age  but eventually my diagnosis changed and according to my psychologist i no longer have adhd just depression did something similar happen to anybody else is there like a link between these two illnesses,3.0
10244, good luck with the trading dayim in and out stuff to dosimple minds in berlin tomorrow wsmnspcl  ,0.0
10245,my depressed boyfriend is driving  hours to tell me a final goodbye before killing himselfplease help me hi my boyfriend  and i  have been dating for almost  months and we are so in love with each other he has depression and anxiety and tried killing himself  months prior to us meeting and took that semester off recently he has received a lot of bad support and news he is a college student so he is broke and his university ivy league put him on academic suspension for a year as well as cancelling his financial aid he worked his whole middle and high school career to get where he is now and he is absolutely devastated his parents dont help him out emotionally or financially so he cant afford to transfer schools he wasnt approved for a loan and his mom doesnt even let him live at her house with his siblings he is driving  hours to say goodbye to me one last time before driving to his apartment where his uni is  hour drive to get his things out of his room on the phone he said hes sorry things have to be like this but everything in his life has gone to shit and theres nothing he can do to fix it i offered him a place to stay at my parents house they said they are ok with that or my sisters boyfriends house i dont know what else to  say or do he refuses to accept my help what can i say or do when he gets here tonight please someone help mei love him so much i cant let him leave and kill himself ,3.0
10246,💔 😥 condolences 🙏,0.0
10247,cellunlocknet thank you were really happy to be working with you as well  well have that wordpress theme soon,0.0
10248,called a suicide hotline tonight five months ago i tried to take my life and theres honestly days i wish i didnt wake up thats one of those tonightgot a job made friends moved out and ive started talking to a girl i like things are good or at least they should be sometimes i miss the easy life though waking up when you want being as loud as you want eating what you want no shits to give at all and its not because it was easy though it totally was its more not having to face the world now i work a job i hate for money to pay rent to a place i dont like if it was a better job and place id be happy i notice that hate getting from point a  point b the timeframe between that sucks and everything takes time for something to get better even though i feel bad now i wont be later,3.0
10249,today was christies bday i had a giganic piece of her choc cake for recess ,0.0
10250,dorkiellama lol ok then fair i spose lmao ,0.0
10251,feeling better nowthanks to someone ,0.0
10252, fine just trying to grind  how are you doing,0.0
10253,hdjskdks,0.0
10254,sethuj  to  ,2.0
10255,profile fakes i deserve to die for what i did i posted this topic on another psychology forum last year but ill post it here because i still feel pain after  and a half years first of all i would like to apologize for my english it is not my native language i do not know if this is the right place for this but i need help urgently my story is that i have always had depression since i was a child i believe that having grown up without knowing my father helped after entering university i was always very lonely which ended up worsening the situationa few years ago i started making fake profiles of people on social dating networks people known or not i would do it and then go out after talking to people but i always relapsed and did it again the point is that i did not think i could harm people with it it was just a way to escape reality  i ended up definitely stopping after i met my girlfriend i love her but it seems that it ended up worsening the situation  after that i started to see laws and to be afraid of being criminally responsible not to mention the guilt that i could have hurt people i never took advantage of this situation never asked for money  at most the conversations had sexual connotations i made profiles of man and woman fakessince then i believe that i am a bad person and that i deserve nothing good in life i feel i had multiple personalities problem but everywhere i read i only see punishments and not treatments i am afraid that they will find out even for more than a year without doing it i am afraid of losing a girlfriend a job and never again accepting me in one and taking proceedings with justice not to mention the disappointment of the family ive never hurt anyone before i thought i was a good person now i think only my death can pay for what i did i do not deserve to be here i feel pain everyday at  almost  years i do not think anyone deserves to live like this yesterday i cried all day of regret for having destroyed my life i did not want to die not really many thanks to all who can read,3.0
10256, it wont download for me either  so lame,2.0
10257,anotherojplease i think kelz as well as myself were doomed from the very beginning regardless of rockywatching ,0.0
10258,bbc news  technology  bt to rollout faster broadband  bet i am one of the last to get it ,2.0
10259, ohhhhhh booed up gone head then girl  i wont keep ya ,0.0
10260,going out for a jog in bout half hour gotta slim down im too fat according to chris jack reply to my texts i know you have credit ,2.0
10261,aragoofus mate no soccer this weekend our game is cancelled ,2.0
10262,oneluvgurl yep i just signed up today still figuring it out tho ,0.0
10263,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
10264,says not my lucky dayeh tadtad ng readings at nadulas pa sa jl  ,2.0
10265,inertiagames we have failed to play any games in our spare time  ,2.0
10266,rt lucrasaa futaba so sad steve jobs died of ligmayusuke who is steve jobs futaba ligma balls,2.0
10267,playing nostale waiting for my kids to get up and hoping that itll be an nice daytoday ,0.0
10268,hcgegenfurtner i have to run you know for school ,2.0
10269,it always comes back around its like a dull poke underneath your sternum that can last for hours it makes your eyes feel like theyre welling up even when theyre not it can make you stop dead in your tracks and just stand there with nothing in your head youre just still with this dull pain you think it will go away soon you think positive thoughts and hope for the future but it comes back it always doesi thought id gotten rid of it  years ago but its back its not identical but its there again its loneliness this time the kind that wont leave even when im with the best of friends its always in the back there waiting to hit as soon as i get back to my empty lifeless home i spend an embarrassing amount of time on dating apps ironically because i dont have any time outside of work and tafe to meet anyone and even if i did what could i do i have no real passions no sport or art or gaming i just drink thats all i do anymore and every time i try to reach out its dismissed as drunken ramblings so here i am again venting to reddit again such a charmed life i lead at least im not at work,3.0
10270,miketopia i am indeed  apart from leather shoes which i know is bad but i just cant help it and yeah the photography at derby is good,0.0
10271,lauria i dont actually have any just wishful tweeting sorry  ,2.0
10272,rt cpcab bacp warn that counselling is at real risk of being downgraded or removed from nice guidelines for depression httpstco,1.0
10273,mcshorty or mcdarling ,2.0
10274,ingridmusic vomitous i like that word thanks ingrid i love you for using big words that i can use to confuse people ,0.0
10275,getting ready to wake the fam rise and shine time to go to church  btw its a beautiful day in se wisconsin,0.0
10276,one down four to go last year on my  birthday i very nearly killed myself but i thought it would be a mistake i would hurt too many people and there is still time for me to feel less empty and hollow and so i said to myself five years on my  birthday if i feel no different after being clinically depressed for  years im going to put a gun to my head one down four to go,3.0
10277,drmcintyre ooops no jordie was still signed in so hes your first follower  lol ,0.0
10278,fatbellybella msteenamarie is realim living proof ,0.0
10279,roshyyy why why what happened  i miss you guys so much tell me whats going on with everyone,2.0
10280,bf i dont what to do i feel empty hey redditi know that the title might seem like a normal sentence coming from someone in his mid twenties and before but i think that my boyfriend suffers from depression manic depression to be exact at least he was told so it seems not only that he has no perspective for himself if its about work he would just force himself to do something rather doing nothing for the future but also for the moment when its about doing something he always responds that he doesnt know and he doesnt have something he really likes to do but not only that being with people is fun for him he said but being in the presence of others human for too long seems to stressing him out and make him want to leave if hes with people for a long time he needs a break and mostly he will just sleep for a ridiculous amount of timehe often said that he likes just to sleep plus were in a long distance relationship over a few countries so we have a huge time gap and its hard for me to really be there for him im with him right now and will for another two weeksi also said him that if hes going to see a doctor he should talk with him about therapy but what could i do as his girlfriend being with him should i motivate him or should i just leave him be if hes stressed out i appreciate every bit of kind words and advice 🙏🏻,3.0
10281,heyyy its looking more like june ,0.0
10282,madisonthomson she was absolutely fantastic diversity were on the same level as her though and it had to be one of them ,2.0
10283,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
10284,i hope to write a nbb story tonight but i am drowning in hw ,2.0
10285,omg  hes been fired  what a horrible day in meteorology ,2.0
10286,nathanfillion well the web anyway ,0.0
10287,uptheneck and my bucketnshovel   youve created something magical ya know ordinary magic is more potent than the extraordinary,0.0
10288,robinpruitt he shouldnt feel awful cats are  points  if it was black and dark out ,0.0
10289,  dear lord ive ruined thomas dolby  dont hurt me man youre awesome i just cant draw you,2.0
10290,i wish i can go jump in the shower and get ready but if i do ill wake everyone up ,2.0
10291,roadtrip,2.0
10292,sinus  hopefully tomorrow will be more productive,2.0
10293,kailaengland because were guilty until proven innocent ,2.0
10294, youre welcome ,0.0
10295,iamalicecullen why ,2.0
10296,tengooo un vecinooo taaan guapooo y no le hablo sad jaja💔,1.0
10297,thinking about you ,0.0
10298,charlieskies preferably some excesive drinking of wkd ,0.0
10299,mornin twitterlings i am tired dont want  get out of bed but must catch earlier train ,2.0
10300,according to studies highanxiety people are more likely to make bad decisions because they tend to catastrophize uncertain situations,2.0
10301,im not going to the bike race this year ,2.0
10302, i cant im on my ipod and it doesnt have im ,2.0
10303,fuck i have to clean my room ps my cousin from canada is awesome ,0.0
10304,hazehotel what ryan you just let like  people down god now we have to wait forever to get it back  god ryan such an ass,2.0
10305,sushiiiiiiiii tonight ,0.0
10306,pwnzie why you wanna delete it ,2.0
10307,this spot light outside my living room had me thinking it was  ,2.0
10308,my neighbors found my cat dead today to say im devastated would be an understatement he was like a son to me the cutest and sassiest tuxedo cat he was so full of personality and charm he went missing about two weeks ago until today when my neighbor called and told me she found him behind her house he was laying on the ground he had no visible bite marks or any broken bones which makes me wonder if he atedrank something poisonous  fortunately two of my friends came over and buried him as i was a complete wreck he was so young he wouldve turned  years old this april i can feel a severe depressive episode coming on from this i was already grieving from losing my only uncle who was one of my best friends to cancer several months ago among other things as well,3.0
10309,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
10310,ng very unfair the guards are   httptweetsg,2.0
10311,ggen its pretty fucken good so far hehe ,0.0
10312,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
10313, noi think it appeared in the late     it goes well with fuckwit and fugly,0.0
10314, tknokitten omg i want morei spent  at mac and i only got like  things ,2.0
10315,kiwiartist yep but someone just reminded me that the road may be closed  hope not were only going at noon ,2.0
10316,dwighthoward good game last night bring on the cavsor just lebron ,0.0
10317,pink wanna be in sydney ,2.0
10318,therealpickler  kellz i love you  your so adorable and im from the south too lol o north carolina baby but now im in utah ,2.0
10319,wanda here and cosmo there ,2.0
10320,checking out the apartment today  and wow i start life tomorrow as a corporate man nice,0.0
10321,doing nothing domingo ,0.0
10322,watching diary of the dead and doing some studying before my exam tomorrow ,2.0
10323,even my soft comfy uggs are irritating it ,2.0
10324,just leaving my house to go out and i got my foot stung by a nettle  typical,2.0
10325,on my way in to work weekends need to be longer ,2.0
10326,tankabarlinda u may want to follow coffeegroundz he is a coffee house in houston a great follow ,0.0
10327,tamybymyself now let me show you the shape of my heart  hahahahahaha,0.0
10328,nagle ever since i started working at the church in the fall and we went mac with the photography biz ,0.0
10329,hughmurrell that sucks ,2.0
10330,wow  cars crashed that was crazy  ,2.0
10331,whats the best thing to overdose ,3.0
10332,im fucking shit at my hobbies and have anger issues that cause me to go deeper into this hell hole college and shit and games got me fucking stressed at helli cant find fun in any hobby i do atm and ive gone to shit at the sstuff im doing rn like in csgo i go  for example and even playing single player games the most basic tasks are a chore now i got so fucking pissed off at myself and the college shit im trying to deal with and i thrw my phone and it shattered fuck my life,3.0
10333, me and my friend xchristianexx are sitting at a graduation party and we started singing fifteen and uh yeah we love you ,0.0
10334,bialovesnkotb lol haha i know right  wonder if jonathanrknight will do the butt dance in the summer,2.0
10335,holy wow i think i couldve slept all day soooo tired ,2.0
10336,anxiety visceral feelings in arms and legs when the anxiety gets bad every day i get these feelings of nervous energy on my arms and legs  feels like my blood is filled with poison  it makes my arms and legs want to shake and movethe closest thing i can think is like restless leg syndrome which i also have  but its in my arms too  its like a pressure that needs to be releasedi do pushups and squats until my muscles are tired  it helps a little  feelings are still there but less after hard exercise  anyone else with anxiety get this feeling  im wondering if its cortisol or adrenaline because its most often in the early morning when i wake up,3.0
10337,  my little purrinator ,0.0
10338,is rather happy ,0.0
10339,this made me really sad for some reason,1.0
10340,juicypearls nott yet ,2.0
10341,and you have good tasts at last unfortunately these thoughts will continue for more generations to come ,2.0
10342,gaming isnt fun anymore hey guys i have the following problem no matter which game i play i stop after a few minutes because i dont enjoy it anymore i could play for hours and now i rarely play  hours at a time but at the moment i am doing very well and i am not in a depressive phase could the depression still be to reason for not having fun playing anymore or am i just too old,3.0
10343,off to babysit soon  wishin i was going to the dance ,2.0
10344,sister and kids just left to head back home the girls are very sad ,2.0
10345,spicybev i dont think i saw some were faster baahhh   would be great if they would give tickets like this lol,2.0
10346,bounder a hammer and blow torch ,0.0
10347,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
10348,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
10349, months away think its bout time for me  go home for summer  yey ,0.0
10350,oh man  arms and legs hurt from gym  better go tomorrow too to toughen them up  ,0.0
10351,theme for work tomorrowquiff day ,0.0
10352,rt malllories its that time of night boys gtits sad boy hours,2.0
10353,thomasward i know one of the people i was talking to got cut off as well  im quite sure we didnt hit  each thanks ,0.0
10354,rt fivesosjustin i wonder what its like to not have social anxiety to not be afraid of talking to people and to not constantly worry ab,1.0
10355,theboatissinkin apparently hindi ako close sa mga classmates ko for this year ,2.0
10356,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
10357,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
10358,oh god essay due at  ,2.0
10359,mmmbirthday cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream  ,0.0
10360,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
10361,rt lrihendry snowflakes have a new diagnoses trump anxiety disorder caused by the mainstream medias lies  fear mongering and constan,2.0
10362,waynemansfield oh i just decided we all needed to smile more  and youve got a great big smile wayne ,0.0
10363,penguins couldnt score on a power play  left in the third penguins down  ,2.0
10364,striving for functional calligraphy anxiety onedayatatime httpstcoaesckaqofp,2.0
10365,tomsshoes any chance of a restock for the element blackpink its sold out in my size ,2.0
10366,i am a  years old suffering from depression abused by his father my mother died when i was  i live only with my father now in the same building also lives my grandma my uncle aunts and cousinsi am not diagnosed with depression because i have not visited a professional but i am sure i have it i cry almost dailywhen i told my father i might he suffering from depression i explained to him that it really wasnt his fault even if it partially was he tells me often i am a failure and i am the worst son he could ever have everyone elses son is better and such and i am starting to believe himhe really isnt the worst because he has bought me a guitar for my birthday because i asked him to and he has bought me a ecig with nicotine because i thought that could help with my situation despite this at times he can be really abusive like  hour ago he literally started yelling and screaming he hurt me and took away guitar computer and other shit because he thinks this can help me studythe real issue is that i cant study because i cant stay concentrated i am slowly loosing grip on reality i just cant do many thing anymore i was really enjoying the guitar but now i juat feel like im not good at anythingi dont have any friends even thought i go out with people i wouldnt really consider myself part of the group the only close friend i had recently moved away because of his fathers job and that really destroyed mei have been a normal kid for most of my life but recently i have become the quiet kid ever since my friend moved away and my group of friends started making fun of me because of the way i look i am skinny and they keep making fun of me for other things i really cannot say but hurt me a loti never had a girlfriend even thought i tried i am too shy but lately i am overcoming it i am starting not to care about myself anymore how i look etc i dont care about anything and i feel like shiti have no one right nowthis summer was good because i had a few friends but they only come during summer i explained to them my issues and they understood most of it they are the only people i can really thankive learnt that most people wont understand my situation and im wondering why the fuck i am making this i just cant anymore i really do feel like no one can understand me but that is selfish because i know there must be someone maybe im just exaggeratingi dont know what should i do i have suicidal thoughts at times but im not brave enough to kill myselfmy father says i am normal and i am playing the victim card but i feel like its not my faulti hope some of you guys can helpps i am also rarely smoking cigarettes and wanted to try something moretldr i might be depressed i cry daily my father isnt helping the situation and my friends arent either,3.0
10367,httptinyurlcomdagdaf bloggity blog blog i fucking love this amp you should too ,0.0
10368,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
10369,realcaryprice ldloa govmikehuckabee realdonaldtrump lol no the majority of the american people dont support h httpstcorugzpzwntb,0.0
10370,no mexico i might look like a star sound like a star but dont be fooled im a dorkstar ,0.0
10371,pennyash whoohoo congratulations  that must be a great feeling,0.0
10372,bonniegrove i knew from the first that im gonna love this book already on chapter  lol ,0.0
10373,is a hungry girl ,0.0
10374,i just drove my mom to the airport ,2.0
10375,i hope my day goes smoothly cause feelin like this sucks ,2.0
10376,ravenandrose i do like that wondered why you werent tweeting  realized that my twitter client wasnt inputting private tweets  doh,2.0
10377,  from lunch for my birthday i miss my long hair ,2.0
10378,im so fucking tired of trying to be functional eating healthy working out job im so fucking sick of trying it just makes me more depressed if i dont do it im fucked but if i do it im also fucked fuck this,3.0
10379,working on my files ,0.0
10380,dannywood please do concert in the philippines ,0.0
10381,sykoticwolf working ,2.0
10382,off to work feeling sick ,2.0
10383,scottrmcgrew nice pic  whereswaldo,0.0
10384,annisathopia  wooo another annisa ,0.0
10385,awesooooome weather ,0.0
10386,crossing her fingers that it doesnt rain todaytonight otherwise the sleepover would be ruined ,2.0
10387,ncclionsroar not if we see you first ,0.0
10388, my computer doesnt drag clips into sv,2.0
10389,chilling at work it probably would have more fun if i would love my job ,2.0
10390,maybe if i fall in love with depression it will leave me,1.0
10391,thenewbnb it sure is amazon is throwin in great deals to clear out the stock ,0.0
10392,ughmy nose is starting  hurt again amp making my top teeth hurt  when i fell ,2.0
10393,rt fact  depression myths we need to stop believing ,1.0
10394,i knew england having amazingly hot weather couldnt last long ,2.0
10395,hmmmquotdunno what to do this week end think a shopping trip is in order  cant wait to go see hairspray in london is ganna be good,0.0
10396,rt lifezette the truth about manic depression from one whos been there ,1.0
10397,mccainblogette youre not alone in that belief ,0.0
10398,my phone charger is ripping  nuuuuu,2.0
10399, this video is great unfortunately i cant rip ,2.0
10400,didnt go in college today heeaaddaachhee  i had  weird dreams last night ,2.0
10401,boredatwork one packet of ketchup for every fry you had  sounds good to me  lol  would you like a fry with that,0.0
10402,cbedon haha this game seems to be funny ,0.0
10403,homeeeee today was beyond amazing ,0.0
10404,everyone is alone throwaway because reasons i keep getting overwhelmed by the knowledge that everyone goes through life alone  we all live in our own little worlds and sometimes we interact with one another but i feel incredibly lonely knowing no one will ever really know how i feel at any time i keep thinking that maybe ill get lucky and meet the one  a person who will trick me into thinking i dont have to go through life alone until i inevitably diealone,3.0
10405,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
10406,now im bored wanna go ouuuut  but no tengo gasolina ,2.0
10407,why am i always the one being blamed ,2.0
10408,mattimago thank you feeling good actually still playing sleep catch up so tired stillbit achy but overall great  x x x,0.0
10409,wishing it wasnt raining so that we could do some yard work ,2.0
10410,i think im depressed  constantly thinking about death i cant tell if im depressed or not a month ago i officially broke up with my ex boyfriend i dont have very many friends working on changing that now my dad is getting older ill be starting medical school soon the point im trying to makeive been really preoccupied with the thought of death for like a week so far i keep thinking about my dad passing then me passing when im older i just start to get really sad i dont know why i keep thinking about death my dad is in his early  a lot of people live until theyre  years old i just want to stop thinking about death advice ,3.0
10411,wesbrawner hacked my twitter amp facebook ,0.0
10412,madukaogba isnt that movie soooo good  love ittt,0.0
10413,i wish i was a seniori want a cookie ,2.0
10414, dont worry you have done enough homework to ace them much success ,0.0
10415,why do i have so much paper in this paperless world  ,2.0
10416,dbtc management meeting   till  noon  zzzzzzzz,2.0
10417,the evidence of foods link to mental states has been growinghttpstcobjequmdjqj httpstcobnyxwqjwxy,1.0
10418,day off and could the weather be any worse round here cold and grey  what happened to the freaking sunshine,2.0
10419,argh stupid woman i mean come on im half her size and i have an ass damn what the hell  i miss him oh well,2.0
10420,man learning a song inspired me to write a new one  late night writting sesion i dunno if i spelled that write whatever ,0.0
10421,the shampooconditioner i bought makes my hair too soft normal people would want that but now i cant style my hair the way i want ,2.0
10422,mileycyrus im still stoked about quotthe last songquot ,0.0
10423,have insurance through work still cant afford therapy or meds i get health insurance through work the copay for doctor visits is  and i cant afford even that much cant get on state funded health care because i make too much my money goes to rent gas and child support im constantly broke and have to decide between gas to get to work or eating for the week the fact that i starve to punish myself makes this an easy decisioni want to get therapy or get on meds or do anything else to improve how i feel but i cant afford anything,3.0
10424,bgbrwneyesny but but gravy is yummmyy and sauce is tomatoey  what were u having it with by the way,0.0
10425,its  am and i cant get back to sleep ,2.0
10426,i hate waking up all digustingly nauseous ,2.0
10427,popstarmagazine my ddlovato drawings     and  what do you think,0.0
10428,trapped my finger between the door and the doorframe now ive got a black fingernail ouch ,2.0
10429,lost her coach sunglasses  so sad,2.0
10430,suitor  is keen hes locked in dates  amp  for the forthcoming long weekend i feel popular ,0.0
10431,now i have to go to sleep or i will never wake up for work ,2.0
10432,we will assist you in buying the right term insurance plan and make you stress free visit httpstcojyxzxrorop httpstcopwdvssjkcj,0.0
10433, lol girl down by dayton by my school no where in co  got to finish school lol but its call brookstone apartments lol,2.0
10434,off to bed see u on the flipside tweeters big day tomorrow ,0.0
10435,valdyharnandy hey its been a while since the last time u replied my tweet how r u i love you im so bored hhh ,2.0
10436,sloppy weekendhomework all day today ,2.0
10437,playradioplay  poor bby,2.0
10438,mikethemiz ahh i think i need to do the same get better ,0.0
10439,dude this blows  i could have totally slept for one more hour  maybe then my headache would have gone away  ,2.0
10440,jrstanley i miss being at the age where relatives give you money just because they saw you ,2.0
10441, oo awesome is the another cinderella story the one with selena in amp i know so is youtubeeee d  i think i should complain ,0.0
10442,good morning  feels pretty nice outside so farim sure it will be hot as hell later though lol,0.0
10443,starbucks with the soontobe bride and her sister ,0.0
10444,im i delusional or are people trying to keep me from getting better i have dealt with some mental healthrelated problems for more than  years now and im not even an adult and it has been hard it has been really fucking hard especially when youve been suicidal for a long time but imreally trying im pretty open about it now because its been a long time dealing with all this but people seem to doubt my will power i told my mom and my sisters that i was fine and they are doubting me they believe that i cant save myself and that i need help from a professional i dont wanna go to therapy that will mean that i lost to depression in the end i want to save myself so i can win on my own and not let it take any more control of life even though im fighting and trying its getting real fucking hard to keep going ,3.0
10445,elsuplexo hey no worries man and dont blame it all on the baby shell be a magnificent human being someday ,0.0
10446,read some depressing budget news this morning great way to start the day ,2.0
10447,kellycerro you should that would rockand i can give you your birthday hug ,0.0
10448,great song great performance to watch she janis gives everything   ,0.0
10449,im causing my own depression and cant stop it growing up ive been a fairly active and enthusiastic child but there was a moment when i was  that i was yelled at to grow up and stop acting like a child when i would get excited about stuffnow im  and everytime i feel myself getting excited about anything i hear a voice in the back of my head telling me to for lack of a better term to man up and i swallow it all inthis voice reminds me everytime that i am no longer a kid and have to take everything seriously idk if this is a part of growing up or im i over doing it i play my favorite games watch my favorite shows and movies with a straight face keeping a low energy all the timeid think this is what adulthood is like by my college peers seems to be excited about random things and act childish in a wayam i causing my own situational depression,3.0
10450,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
10451,the painaghhhh someone save me ,2.0
10452,is there a known issue with pagemethods and caching something aint right maybe been looking at code for too long ,2.0
10453,denpoet sorry didnt see your tweets earlier your headache from yesterday seems to be contagious ,2.0
10454,benipsen im not sure i can name that tune  but im very impressed ,0.0
10455,headed to work ,2.0
10456,i dont feel like im worth help ive had problems with depression for a long time now  it just seems that everything gets worse  im just a waste of time  i dont know how to help myself and i dont want to annoy others who really dont care,3.0
10457,mush is concentrated on his pc will not respond or talk to anyone mush se awito ,2.0
10458,quote from one of my friends on facebook quotcant wait for the john and kate custody draftquot hes so mean but um he may be right ,2.0
10459,yes computer is running again cant use twitter with my new phone though ,2.0
10460,said goodbye to seniors  cried a shit load at least he knows i still care thoughhope were cool to talk now,2.0
10461,where do i start to get help hello im hoping someone here can help me out with where to start ive had symptoms of depression for the past few years but its been getting exponentially worse lately ill random just start crying in the middle of the day and cant stop having negative thoughts i really want to get help and begin working on this i used to be too afraid to go to a therapist but now i think its necessary and am willing to do anything to begin to feel like the normal me againmy question is where do i start do i look for therapists in my area or psychiatrists i tried to do some research but honestly theres so much info id rather ask people who have experience and can point me in the right direction thank you in advance,3.0
10462,energy being sapped by cia space aliens all the time im under threat by the cia space aliens they show up when i am sleeping and use their lasers to drain my energy to send it to satan to help him take over the world i dont know how i can recover from this but its causing me a lot of anxiety and i really want the cia to go away,3.0
10463, you two girls are awsome  i really wanna buy it can i,0.0
10464,was anybody else concerned about jons quotgoing out with a bangquot comment earlier today i dont ever want it to end ,2.0
10465,im just a self aware husk i have literally no friends no personality no interests no hobbies no life ive always been a loner feeling sorry for myself but now its just getting worse i realise ive wasted years of my life and never made connections a normal person would i feel like killing my self every day but never attempt ive never been diagnosed with depression so take this with a grain of salt i guess,3.0
10466,   i miss my bear ,2.0
10467,shoppinghappens there was a turtle in our pool  was it dead ,2.0
10468, if it were a different economy i would  right now i need a decent job ,2.0
10469,crap the lakers are loosing ,2.0
10470,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
10471,mjamme think you should ,0.0
10472,shannenp i no slumdog millionaire is a amazing film its bloodly great ,0.0
10473,stress level ,2.0
10474,deeply depressed after losing faith or something like im not sure if this is the right place if i go to an atheist sub they will greet me welcome if to a christian one they will say farewell actually they will try to get me back but i think no humans can help me nowlast weeks i started deeply thinking about the religion im half into last day i stated my organization is just another broken religion as expected from humans and not totally inspired by god and for me they were the best most rational from all of them now im lostbeen weeks i think ive been praying asking for him to let me feel his love because i can barely even feel love from other people maybe because of my derealization all this combined and i got totally confused and scared i was on total chaos before but now im breathing it i cant believe life is just this stupid thing and i will never be truly happy i cant feel pleasure cant feel reality cant like anything on this world im all alone and have some kinda of socialanxiety i cant believe no one sees my tears falling no one listens to my despair at every night i absolute cannot believe my loved family expect an eternal happy future that will never come there is a literal not an metaphor uncomfort on my chest annoying like something is missing therei probably cried one entire glass today i guess derealization helps to handle this but when i remember my current state i turn back into crying and asking for forgiveness i wont deny i passed part of my not so long adolescence ignoring himi just hope he really hates me and leaves with no answer in confusion to punish me,3.0
10475,mothers finestbaby love ,0.0
10476,stcathsenfrance sounds fantasticis it lovely and sunny its pouring down here  i hope james a is enjoying himself,2.0
10477,deliccate i might watch it at lunch time ,0.0
10478,society sucks and its getting worse im having trouble even typing this out what the fuck is the point nobody and nothing interests me anymore everyone i talk to is a dumb motherfucker or thinks im an asshole because i speak the truth fuck these pussies the world is beginning to get so feminized that its sickening i really hope i get the willpower to off myself because i dont think i can take much more of this bullshit i talk to a therapist but shes a woman and therefore i dont believe can fathom what is going on i need some sort of war to fight in something i can feel good dying for ill be  so i cant join the military nor would i fight for the us i dont give a shit about anything and if you fuck with me i will sick my boys on you im beyond fucked in the head and its only getting worse,3.0
10479,mobscenes oh dear  ,2.0
10480,i wish id had gt  hours sleep  staffing ticketdesk at goldcoast after work amp tomorrow morning  should probably lunchnap in my car now ,2.0
10481, come on that was a joke  of course i would mind you dying,0.0
10482,do you find yourself making purchases and returns to fill the time looking at my statements the last year i see i keep making purchases like lots of clothes online say jeans in tons of different styles and sizes because the fit is always weird theres skinny curvy skinny curvy ultra skinny ultra skinny curvy boot cut and all the colorsjust lots of variables and i fill my time making returns and checking statements and sorting receipts im afraid to stop because the time is to distract me from my depression and loneliness and lack of things to do had anybody heard of this kind of behavior is there a name for it i think found something thats going to help me stop i made a mistake and lost a lot of money well the cashier made a mistake i returned items but the items werent marked as returned so its like i spent all that money the receipt was emailed but it didnt have the items listed this was a wake up call and i think im over the this habit now now to find something else to fill my time ,3.0
10483,sometimes the best ideas are the craziest dont be bound by what you think you can and cant do challenge yourself  via jeffpulver,0.0
10484, it just hit me right now at  that brad replied to me o oh my gosh           ,0.0
10485,i really miss her like alot nut she will never know ,2.0
10486,frankiethesats i love the bag ,0.0
10487,telephone until i pass out   cant wait  speak  dina in the am  got some ishhh  tell her ass  lmfao   night night twitter  ,0.0
10488,stixibuns o what about me ,2.0
10489,up was so cute and i almost hit the cutest owl ever  thank goodness he flew away now its raining gooood dayyyy,2.0
10490,i now know im allergic to dentists owie thank goodness they put me to sleep oh yeah allergic to needles as well hehe ,0.0
10491,hannahmz did everyone see it ,0.0
10492,im probably going to have to get a new job but my anxiety levels are not going to make that easyhahahahaha,2.0
10493,markrock let me know what you decide and what the decision is   well i can try,0.0
10494,going to aunt and uncle for a while     xxx,0.0
10495,aileenwilliams thank you too aileen  ,0.0
10496,jobishia that was pretty awesome on both our parts but a person on a bike behind you said hello and left before i recognized him ,2.0
10497,damn how come laguna wasnt suspended so unfair  very war of the worldslike sky a while ago also didnt watch transformers   ,2.0
10498,i thought i could do this i genuinely thought i could live an adult life but im too weak for this shit i got a job and i thought i was getting the hang of this first job at  but even  hours a week is too much im so tired and my whole body hurts and i thought i was getting better with my meds but this is all too much for me i wanted to be a zoo keeper but the way this is going ill never be able to do it and i dont think i can do anything else i just need to get this out,3.0
10499,superkawaiimama but am very appreciative of someone whos style i admire so much giving me a boost any time  xo,0.0
10500,watching mkbs emilliano insua and xabi alonso compilation  httptwurlnlxpxova,0.0
10501,healthwise so whats the deal with anxiety heres whats up  burnaby now ,1.0
10502,wow so many thing happening it twitter today using mobile  cant use the pclaptop ,2.0
10503,aussiecynic hey that is terrible   i hope they will be ok,2.0
10504,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
10505, not m and g for either of us tomorrow just reg show ,0.0
10506,irresponsible and incompetent person thats at fault for being awful im going to try to say this as clearly as i can so you guys understand how i feelive been fired  times and ive been scared of being fired again from my job ever since i got ittoday i forgot to fill in my timesheet for the week work for the government and the government is shutdown and just kept pushing it offim probably gonna get fired or if not get in troubleim just tired of being incompetent i feel like because of the way life just is there are people who are just incompetent and they cannot help themselves even though they seem totally fine i feel like i am one of those people someone who doesnt have many problems other than depression and anxiety and keeps screwing up anywayi tried telling my mom she said to find a way to remind myselfbut thats not the problemi told her there is always going to be a problem i caused no matter what i do because at one point im going to forget to remind myself or something elseshe then said i was irresponsibleand it sucks because i feel like im trying yet i know there is a part of me thats not its like life isnt allowing a little leeway for me to breathe its like i have to keep being on top of it all all the time and its awfuland its my faulti dont want this to keep happening i wish i was perfect i really do but im not responsible enough im not incompetent enough and its exhausting to try i dont want to kill myself but i really dont see how im gonna get out of a future of sufferingi wanna at least be as good as my peers this tough love shit feels terrible even though its so true i feel like im irresponsible but im trying hard and its not working there is always something that i will do to make me feel this wayi just for once in my life wish someone would walk up and try to help me because its starting to look like i cant do this on my own,3.0
10507,eddible a simpson will always cheer you up ,0.0
10508,hardikt not bad ,0.0
10509,mikeyway   looks so yum yummy  its so rock n roll,0.0
10510,parteeeeeeey ,0.0
10511,deffo goin to walk the dog agen soon  think im gonna go a long walk agen still watchin hollyoaks omnibus ooooh its gettin gd lol,0.0
10512,maybe theres a chance for me to bowl again today ,0.0
10513, gtgt tu me lapprend  ,0.0
10514, lol i didnt go shopping yet so i dont have any breakfast goodies for you sorry ,2.0
10515,icecream ,0.0
10516,wellbutrin halflife hi everyone i need some advice on medical situation im  and used to be a daily pot smoker but ive been  months clean largely due to a drug called gabapentin and family support i used to smoke to cope with anxiety but now gabapentin takes care of that while i was smoking pot i had a lot of symptoms that pointed to depression but i was always skeptical of that back then i spent a lot of time alone because i had just transferred to a new city school and didnt really know anybody at the beginning of my winter break i sought medical help and was prescribed the gabapentin then for my break my mom sent me to india where my family is very closeknit in india i didnt have access to weed and was always around people i found that being around people and taking gabapentin greatly mitigated my depression symptoms now im back at school and feel a lot better about things im more involved and have more satisfying connections with people i still feel apathy but only when im alone my psychiatrist thinks i should take wellbutrin but im nervous to take an antidepressant if i dont actually have depression ive taken  mg once a day for the past  days but i stopped today tldr i smoked a lot of pot amp had depression symptoms prescribed withdrawal meds to get off of weed and have been a month clean still have depression symptoms but only when alone psychiatrist thinks i should take wellbutrin but im hesitant to need some adviceedit sorry for the misleading title im not sure how to change it,3.0
10517,my brother has now got my xbox ,2.0
10518,i keep going back i told myself that i would stop cutting myself time after time each time would be the last time but when my mind gets too much or more like too much of nothing i feel the need to cut to have a little reminder that im still alive and can feel something,3.0
10519,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
10520,mandymymelody oh yes i have i actually went to nyc to see them at the thanksgiving parade didnt get to meet them though ,2.0
10521,hellos always end with goodbyes ,2.0
10522,i dont know how to feel about this i think how i feel is wrong some background just recently the  anniversary of one of the worst events in my life passed by when i was  years old my mother had to work and our usual babysitter was at a nye party so my then  year old cousin watched me and my brother    he molested me that night it ruined my life not on its own but with a host of mental health issues i imagine my psyche had been quite delicate i have ptsd now from that and two other assaults that happened later in life but ive always seen that as the worst i cannot forget it maybe my childhood brain buried it until puberty or maybe constantly dredging it out in therapy or to explain why i dont like to be touched i cannot forget    two days ago his son and exmotherinlaw died in a fire he would have been a little older than i was i think   my mother told me that although she hates him she doesnt think he deserved it    is it wrong that i do he took my life from me and maybe karma or life took one in return am i glad that his kid died no i just dont care  is that wrong,3.0
10523,was suposed to go to six flags today ,2.0
10524,she has very calming music  its just like i can chill to it and idk i just love taylor swift,0.0
10525,rt brentconner im                  so     fucking                       uglyand its                        💞💖💘💕,2.0
10526,pinksealight ow no r u not coming ,2.0
10527,going to miss all of u guys ,2.0
10528, i used to run fsecure on my nokia  but ive stuffed too many apps in it so had to remove fsecure to make way for more ,0.0
10529, days to go to my first global webinar ooh listen in at  soon if you fancy  i am so dj  ,0.0
10530,beckyw ,0.0
10531,lstintheseethru mornin bobbi you have your name back ,0.0
10532,rt whosrandy so fuckin tired of being sad i just wanna sleep until this all goes away,1.0
10533,andyclemmensen hehe i acnt sleep without the tv on ,0.0
10534,mamalonglegs please ,0.0
10535,me ando super bem da ansiedade anxiety yeah bitch you thought meanxietymeanxiety panic attack,1.0
10536, i think july  is waaat to long to have to wait ,2.0
10537,bradthegleek i want a huge bucket of legos ,2.0
10538,redmachine as much as id love one ,2.0
10539,rt freeblackgirl a reminder selfcare is not necessarily about taking baths or getting pedicures or going on vacation its a set of hab,0.0
10540,almost done for the day but have to do some more work tonight and tomorrow ,2.0
10541,fuck this shit is hard but thank you thank you guys for being here thank you for being relatable god damn is this fucked up disease hard but at least i know im not alone i hope everyone has a good day and starts to feel better,3.0
10542,just checked her env and had  miss calls for an audition gt nooooo ,2.0
10543,going to pick up my car hopefully the ac is working ,0.0
10544,i havent showered changed clothes or left my computer for nearly three days time to go for a walk and then deodorize ,0.0
10545,i just learned how to play nhl i only got  shots ,2.0
10546,sivanfeigen mr smith told us this story about how he lost all of the year  work and he freaked out about it but then he found it ,0.0
10547,death depression i feel like i can never connect with people because they just dont understand me  i have no reason in life to be depressed  great gf  job family is alright but i just find myself always wanting to die i feel like life is so mundane and we just end up losing the ones we love and dying anyways  whats the point  i just hate even experiencing anything good because one day it wont even matter  my mind will shut off and i will cease to exist  i think about it literally every fucking second of my life and im exhausted i cant help but to have feelings of killing my self every day in different ways i find myself being wreckless just to itch the temptation of it i also have a huge trigger with clocks  seeing them tick away  seeing my life pass me by  knowing that every moment brings me closer to being a lifeless corpse sleeping and waking up to the same feelings everyday  does anyone feel this way please help ive tried everything and i cant shake it,3.0
10548,i cut again yesterday for the first time in months i dont know what i was thinking i thought things were going so well my boyfriend was downstairs i was upstairs in our room i was super upset about the day and stressed about my mom and i just did it it happened in our bathroom started a bath ate grapefruit and did it i didnt even think about it im on zoloft  but it just doesnt feel like its enough my boyfriend was so upset but i dont know how to tell him it isnt his fault he just told me whats done is done and i feel awful about it hes the last person i want to upset i feel like a failure to everyone around me everyone is so supportive and i just let them down,3.0
10549,billyraycyrus   nooo please dont say this is traces horse thats unfair  you guys seems like a big happy  ,2.0
10550,rukiaa i miss you ,2.0
10551,cant stop thinking about killing myself every night its been like a year that i have this thoughts every night when i go to sleep and i cant sleep because of that and many other overthinking stuff i plan literally everything have all the scenario in my mind but i have never tried doing it because im scared because once its done its over i can imagine my family will be sad and i will be considered selfish and weak eventually i fall asleep and sleep almost all day next day and every night i know it will pass i just try to stay calm and convince myself that tomorrow will be better but it starts over here hello everyone sorry if i am disturbing anyone i just wanted to let it out but since i dont have any friends i had to do it herealso a short story about me this is my first time writing on here  i am depressed mostly because i keep everything inside who i am must stay a huge secret in this traditional and retrogressive society i live in also talking about mental health is a big taboo here so i cant even get a professional help nor talk to my parents who should be my first and biggest support i was bullied as a kid apparently it was my fault that i attracted bullies i am different in many ways than the majority and i know it sounds pathetic but really no one understands me people here according to this mentality must be all the same like sheep follow the majority blindly i am also gay so there are many things i cant share with my parents and i cant have real friends i think moving out of this country to a better place might be a solution but i need a job to earn a lot of money to become independent from my parents i actually hate money its not something we want but we need itin a way i understand why no one wants to hang out with me the depression made me stop caring about myself my looks my hygiene my teeth look horrible and i have a bad breath i didnt shower in a week or so i dont get out of my house or just to buy cigarettes when i search the internet they all say do this do that physical exercise hobbies socialize etc but nobody tells you how to do it how to even start doing anything i would like to but i just cant make myself movingsorry for the long post if you read it thank you you dont need to help me if you cant i just feel a bit better letting it all out here stay strong good people,3.0
10552,rt lmao my physical health trashmy mental health trashmy bank account trashmy skin trashme ,1.0
10553,michaelsuggs thank you it has been a wonderful weekend so much to be thankful for and happy about ,0.0
10554,vaguerisk also sad considering about  of the worlds population is lactose intolerant ,2.0
10555,is it funny that my  yr old is excited that twilight won best kiss ,0.0
10556,attackkita hahah no i keep missin it  you been talkin to you know who over yer holiday ,2.0
10557,i lost i lost a game of game of firestorm boys shiet was all i had im ending it boys shits over,3.0
10558,am i going manic trigger warning hello im a  yr old female from northern canada at  i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression lately im worried something more is happening as ive been having these episodes ill call themill be minding my own business and next thing i know i have about  pills in my hand or im ready to swerve into a tree but like im not making these decisions myself like something else isand the noises the whispers and the constant dread are weighing me down is this something normal maybe ive never personally experienced but are a symptom of depression its like somethings there always standing too close i hear them say things but not words i can make out i see them but always in the corner of my eye never direct but not moments later my eyes get too bright and things start to shake and suddenly im on the floor having a meltdown im not suicidal in the way that i feel as tho i am going to kill myself but as if something else comes along and takes over please help im desperate edit i do take an ssri and have for years with no reactions celexa to be specific i am also on birth control and have chronic nausea ,3.0
10559,mitchelmusso hmm mr i still think you owe me a coffee trip ,0.0
10560,greenstarcoop i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
10561,oh shit paris hilton thing sold out online  no to weds but tues amp fri still gonna be off the hook,2.0
10562,wishes for a karma boost please  ,2.0
10563,boyfriend of a girl who is experiencing depression  with couple questions amp looking for advice please just be brutally honestheres the back storyive been seeing my gf for about  months and during that time things have been good in my eyes at the beginning of this month she was forced to give up a dog she was fostering and i believe that triggered her depression shes also lost a close family member pretty recently too shes been on medicine since ive known her the other night after hanging out and being affectionate we had the talk where she opened up about always having a desire to be at home and alone and how she was missing school amp work i was blind sided because while ive noticed she hasnt been as outgoing inperson interactions didnt feel different to me she hid her depression well she mentioned she wanted space and im fearful shes disconnecting or becoming reclusive or that shes simply letting me off easy in a its not you its me kind of way i want to believe shes being upfront and open with me which makes me want to support her it tears me up that shes going through thiswell fast forward to today and were going to be having a conversation tomorrow ive read a lot about clinical depression while giving her space and with her willing id like to maintain support and be there for her so that brings me here to you guyshas anyone here ever pushed a so away due to your depression can you elaborate on what your thought process and feelings werewhat can i as a partner do if she does allow me to stay in her life to help her what would you want from someone who is offering supportam i wrong to stand my ground and try to get her to open up to me about how she is feeling not talking me about me or our relationship but truly about hows she feelingany other thoughts or advice im trying to do the best i can by her and just want to be equipped to have a healthy and productive conversation even if its not what i want to hearthanks guys and to everyone out there struggling you are valued and you are loved,3.0
10564, its difficult for us to know if you are the real kristen ,2.0
10565,syznn tak boleh dm im sad ,2.0
10566,missshonah  haa haa liz spotted it and gave me a serve lol ,0.0
10567,oh here come the please come out txts leave me alone im poorly and very emotional ,2.0
10568,so bored balloons just poped and scared the living daylights out of me ,2.0
10569,omg the new twilight trailer o o o my my my i am loving this year   taylor lautner looks nice in teh video swish ill update later too,0.0
10570,hint dont all talk at once interpreters can only speak for one person and then only if they can understand himher ,0.0
10571,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
10572,beautywriter  thats true but still its too far  ,2.0
10573,hotpatootie its raining gosh this time delay on twitter is getting worse  ,0.0
10574,yay got my  back from repairs this morning unfortunatley they couldnt do anything because theres a fault in the mainboard ,2.0
10575,venting my situation hello im a  almost  year old highschool girl ever since my second year of middle school due to domestic abuse between my previously alcoholic mother and her partner followed by her attempted suicide a couple months later almost  or  years ago now ive started staying in my room at every opportunity possibleeven now that her partner has been gone for so years i still avoid leavingi have anemia autism  pounds among other thingsi never had many friends id see outside of school over the course of my life but ever since ive become a recluse my stability has been slowly spiraling even more than its past statei dont even leave my home much less my room for short walks around the neighborhoodi now have little motivation to finish highschool i have no future goals aside from housewife my hygiene is very shakey being able to go days on end during times i dont have to leave home without changing clothes brushing my teeth or taking showerswhen i am obligated to go outside i do engage in basic hygienei always sit in the dark with the blinds closed when i get home from school or just when home of my social interaction is through the internet and video gamesmy hobbies are playing video games as previously mentioned watching anime reading manga and drawingi want to make friends with other women but i end up feeling intimidated by how confident they are or how well put together they seem i know this usually isnt the casei get jealous because of how happy they are and how much confidence they haveim very judgmental of others usually basing first impressions to be final and i tend to have a problem with seeing things only as black or whitei shy away from anyone with plain tastes out of distasteim childish and nowhere near ready to be an adult what do i do to fix myself and become a better person and where should i startsorry this is long thanks for listening,3.0
10576, morning to you how the devil r u ,0.0
10577,wish i could watch the mtv awards just thankful for the play by play ,0.0
10578,ouch my back man im sick ,2.0
10579,ideas to help my wife through a nasty rough patch im looking for a womans perspective on this i want to help my wife feel better so any ideas to surprise her and bring out a smile would be greatly appreciated,3.0
10580,welp im crying—in my city there was a house full of trash garbage maggots and lice with up to  disabled dogs b httpstcowzgbtvjoeu,2.0
10581,gerardway congrats ,0.0
10582,tylershamy taylorbeckett   hello i see you all tomorrow just stating ,0.0
10583,im not even fucking  and i have a drinking problem ive been lied to by dad for all my  years do you know how hard it is to cope after your dad didnt see your for  months because he was havnt a kidney transplant he couldve seen me i dont know where my dog jack went because he never tells the truth he says we werent invited to the funeral of a dear friend of hishis ex girlfriend because we werent close family i still have her number in my phone im so sad all the timei dont know if i have anxiety or not the doctor said i should try mindfulness but that doesnt work my mind is so full all the time im so alone ,3.0
10584,vvbrown   damn youve got beats headphones im jealous ,2.0
10585,brandaj add as a favorite then copy amp paste ,0.0
10586,welshracer angelroxy  thank you ,0.0
10587,sittin in church thinkin bout layin out wit natalie later wishin i was with  more than anything ,2.0
10588,getting deported from the netherlands its my fault i dont know what to do i dont know where else to really go so ill just post here i dont know if i can survive the next year at this point i moved to the netherlands  years ago and came here after a family member got a job here ive learned dutch somewhat but im certain im going to be banned for maybe two years because i screwed up with my visa application i grew up and lived in california my whole life and i really dont want to go back im thinking maybe i can get some sort of exemption but i know thats just wishful thinking i think everyday about how stupid i am and how much of a loser ive become i never worked that hard in school and i dont really have a vision for myself i dont have any motivation to solve serious issues with my immigration and i see everything as kind of hopeless i just end up blaming myself and self improvement just feels impossible i feel that im going to live a life without much hope if i get banned all the money my parents have spent on university will go to waste it feels all over me my dad told me once without even knowing about my visa that if i needed to go back home he wouldnt let me back so id be homeless in california the anxiety of it is killing me ive notice pinches of my hair coming out all the time if i swipe my hand through my hair more comes out this also confirms all of the worst i think about myself because i feel that i dont deserve the investment ive been given from my parents to go to school now that ive put it all to waste i also keep getting this creeping feeling that im a toxic person in general i can barely listen i talk too much and people take the time to listen to me when i dont in return i can date people but i cant keep any relationships because i feel that im so bad at listening and being intimate with people about how i feel is so difficult i think all the time about the stupid things ive done or said and it just confirms that im a drain on everybody around me everyday i put up this smile and positive attitude to make sure my roommates dont worry about me but they see through it my worth as a person doesnt exist because i think i bring more misery than happiness to anyone i think about suicide but im too scared of the dark i just want my parents out of my life and be my own person i dont want to feel like i owe anything to anyone but thats all i do i want some sort of direction that can provide security but i know none of those things are possible i wish my own failures can be my own and not burden other peoplethats why i hate myself i have no alternative to the person i am now and ive given myself the same criticism to change for years and none of it gets me anywhere i dont how long i can keep doing this,3.0
10589,might you be down to help me get my life in order today maybe have peps overorder grubfile papersfix me accountsu know a real party ,2.0
10590,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
10591,gilmooooore girls  jerk it out ,0.0
10592,vmlemon university of the west of scotland here  we just merged with bell collage last year same all over the place,0.0
10593,hikingcanoeing at cunningham with my two fave guys  fb,0.0
10594,sleepy bt still aint ready  da imo training tmrw ,2.0
10595,incredibly sad anzozceo is leaving us  ,2.0
10596,rt ziwe sadgressive adj a moment of progressive social reform that is sad when you consider contextsentence it is sadgressive th,0.0
10597,awake leaving for work totally shitty night because of no sleep new roombed this is why i dont spend the night places  ,2.0
10598,maygennicole haha yeah im gonna have to try that one day ,0.0
10599, yeah kinda im tired ,2.0
10600,i need the holidaysso badly ,2.0
10601,rt rachaelmbade really moving question from woman who has a son wsevere mental health issues who lives on ssdi which potus cuts knight,0.0
10602,aplusk omg i love that song so glad you got to come and visit georgia ,0.0
10603,its already trending i wont taetae to be sad again bcs of this ,2.0
10604,my ear piercing has closed up  i will have to get it redone,2.0
10605,piyushn btw i just saw ur msg on fb and got to knw that u r here in blr how long u here man we shld catch up ,0.0
10606,all i ever think about is suicide ive been depressed for years but never considered suicide but the past year its gotten so so so bad and i feel  so fucking terrible all the time and all i can think about is suicide i used to crave love so badly to have friends someone to hold me but now i dont even want that the thought of one more person touching me right now makes my stomach turn because of how uncomfortable i am in my own skin i feel so fucking sad and i hate myself so much im tired mentally and physically but i cant sleep my fucking bones and my soul feel tired i wish i would just fucking overdose already i shouldve by now but my body keeps hanging on im just praying for deathi feel like theres an elephant sitting on my chest and i think the only way to get rid of it is by killing myself,3.0
10607,katiesantry it was super dead where i work too i know what you mean ,2.0
10608,rt flpbis connecting the dots integrating mental health amp pbis w lucille eber pbis httpstcotjaedxpcls moswpbs,0.0
10609,is in the dark listening to al green wearing vampire teeth ,2.0
10610,ill miss you ,2.0
10611,ex gf with severe depression so my ex gf seems to have some severe depression shell call or text me saying shes really down and just needs to hang out and well hang out but then shell think were getting back together and when she realizes that isnt the case that im just doing it because i care about her she gets even worse to the point of planning and ideation and then have to call her down or physically restrain her i really dont know what to do her family doesnt seem to do enough of i do call  shell probably end up losing her job as well i want to think that shes just attention seeking when she says things but im worried im wrong she pushes her other friends away then complains that they dont act in exactly the way she thinks they should im one of the few people that can deal with her episodes but its very taxing i want to help but i also feel like she intention monopolizes my time because she knows ill be there and is very jealous of anyone else i hang out with furthermore shes often correct with the negative things she says like how i dont want to deal with her meanness how i care about someone else more how i have to apologise for her behavior to my friends etc aside from getting her committed and begging her family to help o havent idea what to do,3.0
10612,done finaaaally ,0.0
10613,its sad when erbody swear you got hoes and you really dont 😂🤦🏽‍♂️,2.0
10614,why the fuck did twitter just ask me if i wanted this translated,0.0
10615,will be out for the weekend  ,2.0
10616,didnt want to be a tax inspector anyway ,2.0
10617,heading of to the party  ttyl,0.0
10618,i miss crowebear ,2.0
10619,ktvu sad horribly sad  but common sense is greater than relying on others advice even demands,0.0
10620,scienceofsleep i want to be there ,2.0
10621,fortunekookie argh i havent seen a fortune cookie for awhile i need a fortune now ,0.0
10622,iluvnkotb its vicodin im had to some painting now im sooo soreim feel soo old ,2.0
10623,feel like im lost i feel trapped i have always been supported by my close family in what i want to do but they still have high expectations for my future that i am not sure i will ever reach i dont have a hard life and i know i am lucky to have all the caring people and opportunities i have had but i cant motivate myself to do what i want i feel a pain in my head when i think about the future because all i do is let down the people i care about there is so much i want to do in life but i am pissing away all my opportunities and letting time pass by while everyone around me is pushing forward and is becoming successful or moving into new phases of their life i just dont know what to do i am about halfway through university but i am on track to take like  years to graduate i am only  but most of my peers are surpassing me and will graduate soon while i just feel so stuck the only time i feel happy is when i forget about my life and escape it or when i am with people i care about i think i need to go to a psychologist but i dont know how to bring it up without scaring my family my family has a history of mental illness and i dont want them to worry about me when there are people in my family who actually deserve their worries sorry for such a long post i feel like i want to cry recently but the tears wont comei dont have anyone to talk about this to so i just want to get it off my chest,3.0
10624,if you are at paragon please vote my work  lol,0.0
10625,did u like my rant to tila tequila  i did shes soooo fucking annoying,0.0
10626,  i dunno that adidas has that kinda marketing ability  its a sad day,2.0
10627,rt mhcc how any business can improve employee mental health globeandmail article series workplacemh mentalhealth  httpstcovyxun,0.0
10628,musiqvixen night love kiss my girl for me ,0.0
10629,stupid blackberry cant get it to send or receive txt or email just stopped all the sudden tried taking batt  nothing  ,2.0
10630,im so afraid of my future im so worried and sad about my future im afraid im not going to be happy with the relationship im in and that its going no where im worried ill never have a son or a daughter or that of i do ill break down from my issues with anxiety and depression and wont be able to do a good job  im worried ill fail in my career as a teacher its my first year and i dont know if ill really ever become good at itmore than anything i just want to be loved for who i am ,3.0
10631,breaking  the housed passed the bill to ban guns in hospitals and mental health facilities vote was  httpstcoygkvkawlzq,1.0
10632,aipchristina thanks ,2.0
10633,trying to get phone reception  stupid oregon and its oregonness,2.0
10634,courtneysit why confidence makes me atypical male so your confidence makes you atypical quotbitchquot female i dont think so ,0.0
10635,neurosceptic oi mister i had to unfollow you cause you were going mental with the suggestions my laptop screen is only small  ,2.0
10636,ifab but they are soooo good lol ,0.0
10637, we dont know anything yet bb ,2.0
10638,btw im starving and just wanna eat ,2.0
10639,feeling like a fat waste of space ugh ,2.0
10640,bevinkathryn ok  yeah i think ill buy mugglenets book after school tomorrow but ill have to save a little more for the hbp one  ,0.0
10641,hope every one is having a a good day ,0.0
10642,missgiggly cruisers are awesome thanks for the laugh this drinks for you cheers ,0.0
10643,hollywoodhames i wish i had a mac ,2.0
10644,why does everything stress me,2.0
10645, better late than never ,0.0
10646,i had a little oops moment and messed up my car ,2.0
10647,hail storm in brisbane last night and my poor baby swift was outside ,2.0
10648,drphillips dont do it ill sound like some animal abuser ,2.0
10649,destinysports when you turn  okay ,0.0
10650,morning all    thanks for the followfridays sorry i havent done any this week  how is everyone today,0.0
10651,pagesinadiary sadly this will never be the case ,2.0
10652,julianamercedes same with meit sucks schools endinggg ,2.0
10653, open source alternatives to adobe acrobat  im just sayin  via ,0.0
10654,here until  im so bored ,2.0
10655, saw that about our quotfriendquotthe next one i see im going to scream and the guys down in atlanta will hear me ,0.0
10656,ect experiences has anyone had ect and would like to share their experience side effects outcome ,3.0
10657,okay what should i do im at memas and im not doing anything im sitting here waiting for my mom to get back ,0.0
10658,kidstylefile mmmnnn the kids want a dog im thinking furry costume kill two birds with one stone ,0.0
10659,sarahbethpenn he made all of them look freakishly tiny ,0.0
10660,nathanielsmith go to therent movies start a blog make a youtube vid tweet or you can study like me ,2.0
10661,reading the hitkrant ,0.0
10662,up all night yaass i have school tomorrow but here i am at  am awake and on the internet this is what i do most nights its just so hard for me to go to school and to wake up early blaahhh i dont know why its so hard am i just lazy my school is like  min walking distance away lol im such a loser does anyone else do this plus i guess i kinda quit treatment i havent taken antidepressants in the last few days i just decided not to and i cancelled my meeting with my nurse and doctor it would have been this morning i thought that hey now that im starting to eat really healthy and start exercising im going to beat the shit out of depression with it hopefully it works lol,3.0
10663,symphnysldr ahhh its gonna be amazing and im not gonna be there  hopefully next time,2.0
10664,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
10665,missfabulous doing good lovegot my mind a bit in orderand am ready to kick this dells assshe does not wanna coop with me lol ,0.0
10666,whoa i am so sick i cant even get up to finish my homework i cant miss my math test and i have to turn in my science project tomorrow ,2.0
10667,djvinceadams ohh poor girl  ill email her i am relying on you being here in october mr,2.0
10668,jeromegotangco you need videographer ,0.0
10669,save the mangos — why do i have to be allergic to mangos  httptinyurlcomkvodnr,2.0
10670,happy mothers day mommy ,0.0
10671,so i got to my exam centre n they said we cant let u becuz of your sleeveless top u cud believe that i had to go home ,2.0
10672,oh ick i had hardware issues myself this week no fun  re ,2.0
10673,we go to findley market to be ecofriendly and we spend  minutes cruising for a parking place ,2.0
10674,trying to feel fine tummy hurts ,2.0
10675,just venting out first off im new so theres that anyways dont really know where else to vent out about this but here goesone of my siblings got depression herself you might be asking yourselfthen why are you doing  the talking herewell for starters with her having it im beginning to lose myself what with the suicidal tantrums she makes once in a while selfish and inconsiderate i know but i just cant help it hear me out i do talk things with her that i do care for her the rest of her family do hell ive never been more honest in my life things were fine after we had our talk for a few days but somehow it doesnt really leave any effect thereafter she started dropping my words as lies saying that i dont really care for her i was shocked like dude seriously to be fair i cant really blame her shes been through a lot for someone so young having exposed to stuffs not for girls her age to see nor know of to be backstabbed and have her trust shredded to piecesthe grievous mistake i made was that we turned it into a heated argument when pushed to my limit i can be quite harsh and aggresive so i have myself to blame for a brief moment i thought the situation was fixed but boy was i wrong we havent spoke with one another for years anyways her dismal state is starting to affect me especially with school love drama and life problems somedays i just want to escape from it all i swear its just too much of a pressure for me to handle i tend to keep things to myself and im afraid the weight would crush me i so wanted to put the blame on others but deep down i know that its no usei i think another fault of mine is for being too rash about this delicate subject ive never experienced this before and as much a jerk i may come across writing this within my heart is still an urge wanting to mend things up slowly but steadilythats it allinall i just wanna say im scared scared of how things would turn out if this goes on,3.0
10676,once again tennis fooled by the weather ,2.0
10677,signpostmarv its a nightmare right now ,2.0
10678,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
10679,im sooo cold and tired ,2.0
10680,found a quotbigg mommasquot edible in my closet  im afraid if i eat it i might stop being productive tho ,2.0
10681,on my way home now walking as battery flat on car this morning ,2.0
10682,i know i could make it through this i just dont want to im just tired ive been struggling for years my mental health has been bad since i was about  now  ive had a terrible bladder disease for almost  years every single day just feels like desperately trying to distract myself from my suffering i only stay alive for everyone else in my life theyre all amazing people who try to help me whenhow they can im sorry but it just doesnt ever truly help my suffering it helps for a short flash of hope and then starys to fade as soon as they go ive had suicidal thoughts for what seems like centuries now and ive tried to kill myself twice so far the first time when i was  i think was really a desperate cry for help cut my wrists and laid down but i woke up ate and idek what after that the second time when i was about  or  i took a ton of pills and ended up in the hospital i didnt tell people about how i really ended up there i wasam embarrassed that i want so desperately to die and i was ashamed that i couldnt even manage to do it honestly im scared to die im terrified of what will happen after all the usually questions like what will happen to my loved ones will it hurt what comes after of anything i just believe in my heart that it would be easier to be dead have so for years but now is the most solidly i can rationalize itive been out of work and school for years ive been in constant pain every day for years ive been depressed for years i could just go on and on and on with what seem like perfectly valid reasons to meim constantly torn between not wanting to hurt my loved ones but also not caring about hurting them because it means my continued suffering i love all of them so god damn much and i even love the earth this life has amazing and fantastic things for people ive managed to experience some of them but every day i get worse and worse id miss out on so many things but id also be missing out on years of more suffering its a huge debate ive had for a long timethe last time i wanted to commit suicide was in  but my friend showed up and talked to me and kept me distracted that night was the worse ive ever felt that is until now i know it seems trivial or cliche to say but the final straw this time is my gf just at least to me out of nowhere broke up with me last night weve been doing fine weve hung out been out doing things just got tickets to see patton oswalt in april got our plane tickets for disney this summer etc etc tons of things that were seemingly fine and happy we always said we were each others best friend which was true shes the best gf ive ever had and a phenomenal friend she understands me better than anyone else ever has and has helped more than anyone else has she made the suffering worth it which i feel bad even thinking because of my family but its true every day i sat here suffering was worth it because i got to see her every week now thats just over in the blink of an eye there are other girls out there i know but i just dont believe there are more like her she literally checked every single thing off my list of ideal qualities in a partner everything you name iti just dont know how the fuck i can top that i dont even want to i love her i love her so much i can physically feel it ive always felt and said that she is my soulmate and best friend i dont want anyone but her my last breakup was horrible wrecked me but a part of me still new i could do way better than that gf all of my other exes its easy to see why would have never worked out i cant do that this time this time with her has been the best of my life the least of my suffering she helped me beyond measure and gave me motivation to live being with her made me feel good which again makes me feel like shit because i have the most amazing family ever that loves me so much i just cant help how i feel i just cant see a future without her which would be worth my continued suffering everyone in my life would be devastated if i died but they would still have their lives they could keep moving forward with their lives as id want them to and they wouldnt have to worry about and support me anymore they wouldnt be weighed down with my constant struggles and strifethere are plenty of things i still want to see in life like the next avengers my friends getting married my son graduating etc but now i dont want to do anything i dont want to see the avengers patton oswalt or go to disney with my family without her i dont hate life or blame anyoneanything im just tired of my life tired of the struggle tired of my horrible health tired of feeling alone and without a purpose other than to keep others happy im tired of watching everything i love turn to dust in my hands watching it blow away like smoke ive been pretending all these years and i just dont want to pretend anymorei just want to rest in peace  just heard sometimes it doesnt matter what you know what you feel just takes over,3.0
10683,eminem is performing my song  love it,0.0
10684,im pushing away the people i care about most im a college student age  with depression at my worst im irritable have no appetite and stay in bed all day i used to be so active but school kills me i get fed up with my school life my obligations and vent to my long distance boyfriend often enough for him to think im miserable with him tonight he told me he was putting off seeing me next weekend for one day because he made plans with some friends and i freaked out lashed out saying he didnt care about me or want to see me at all he always deals with my bullshit because when i come out of it and im calm he apologizes when i know he shouldnt be its taking more of a toll on him and our  year relationship than i ever wanted and im relying on him for all of my baggagehow do you all keep the people you care about close while dealing with your own feelings how do you convince them that theyre not making you miserable its the mental illness i really care and love him but i let my state of mind get in the way this wasnt the first time,3.0
10685,alejandralei do i have this number ,0.0
10686,robertel you canti objecti counter your pessmism with optimismcheck and matesorry im in a weird mood ,0.0
10687,sick of feeling so alone it has been seven days since i have spoken to anyone my wife of  years left me about six months ago and only calls for money my daughter is in college and has a busy life as a er nurse i hate to bug her so i just lie and tell her i am ok i just sit here day after day when i go to work i go to my job and do the same thing i have done for over  years i just cant seem to pull myself out of this hole im in and its driving me crazy today i saw a woman smile at me and i wanted to say hi but i couldnt so i just left the store and went back home  i feel stupid posting this but i gotta get it off my chest,3.0
10688,milpol on progress ,0.0
10689,derektrainwreck im sry  ill be on later at lunch time icu making chelsea handler references,2.0
10690,amp cant sleep  two baseball games in the mourning shoot me now,2.0
10691,i feel like a ghost of myself a few weeks ago during finals week i felt the peak symptoms of depression extreme fatigue sadness and just overall emptiness i thought it was just because of the stress of schoolbut now its the second week into winter break and i dont have a job or school but i still feel equally as depressed and stressed out as before when i had the weight of the world on my shoulders from school does anyone else feel this intense fear that theyre slowly losing sight of the lively person they once were is that fear itself depression ,3.0
10692,i procrastinate because i feel like shit which makes me feel like shit because i never get anything done ive put off doing this one final paper for maybe more than  months now i told myself i was going to do it and complete the class over the summer break but i never did i did open the file try to do some research but nothing came out of it registration starts tomorrow theres this one class i need to take but its prerequisite is the class i have an incomplete grade foron top of that theres another class i havent submitted any final paper for either so basically i have two classes with incomplete gradesi emailed my prof to explain why i havent passed anything yet basically i told him im going through something rough i know hes nice and hell understand but he still hasnt replied which makes me dread going to school to enroll tomorrowever since about february this year ive been feeling pretty bad it feels as if with every passing day my self hate intensifies my thoughts grow louder and i lose more and more interest in my degree program recently these emotions have been affecting my physically if that makes sense so im planning a trip to the therapist sooni dont know why i keep doing this to myself fuck i told myself i was going to do it tonight and instead i write a shitty reddit post about it,3.0
10693,my old quotarthurquot project with iain hasnt seen any activity since the  july  ,2.0
10694,imsoapee it could be but i doubt it lol i hope that saborkt will be up to visitors this weekend so i can stop by for a brief visit ,0.0
10695,  haha claim it before its gone ,0.0
10696,i tried to harm myself for the first time in my  year life today i tried to cut myself im not proud of that moment i feel like i have nobody though i know that i do i dont feel loved i dont feel cared about i have a fulltime job that i dont care about i have a college degree that ive done nothing with ,3.0
10697, i tried to hit u up on justintv but my ish is actin mad slow ,2.0
10698,watching the hills woohoo ,0.0
10699,is not happy because she is not well enough to go on the d of e walk today ,2.0
10700,like my third time on here haha what to do what to write  well im about to watch supernatural yay ,0.0
10701,donnajgamache thanks for the information  im not much of a hair guy myself so i fall short of knowing these things,0.0
10702,bein at ice reminds me of the good ole days at revolutions cthagod djfrosty memories  im old now,2.0
10703,marshmash i always love you twice more   i dont know i really want to see you before october or november cant wait ,0.0
10704, sounds like xbox all nite for me then huh ,0.0
10705,no one is awake so why am i oh right because i had a really scary dream that woke me up ,2.0
10706,car in  weeks wooooo ,0.0
10707,anxiety level sweaty feet,1.0
10708,work is tough with a  incision trying to heal and not lift anything over  especially with a job that requires lifting like mine ,2.0
10709,woowork haha  ill try to keep myself proud until i run out tomorrow night and buy a paranoia stockpile of them ,0.0
10710,ok everyone keeps asking me if the seats on both sides of me are taken and i say no they proceed to give me a weird look ,2.0
10711,why cant i upload a picim resizing them to the smallest i canive tired  pics twitter hates me  ahhhhh ,2.0
10712,linalaura yes of course work boss oso have to go office ok ,0.0
10713,in a sad mood ,2.0
10714,but thats why a lot of women go through postpartum depression pregnancy is all fine amp dandy but the minute that ,1.0
10715,scribb i want free roam heroes vs villains multiplayer action ,0.0
10716,yeh im sleepy i gotta bow out  benneh better not show up lol gnite,2.0
10717,last night was amazing demi lovato mcfly and jonas brothers and i saw nick grimshaw it was bloody good ,0.0
10718,i got removed from a group chat and im very sad,2.0
10719,abiban do one of you amp your most favourite book  eating galaxy is optional ,0.0
10720,okso i am new  this twitter thing anyone have any advice i use twitterberrydont know much about it  help please,2.0
10721,sick of crying and lonely as hell i usually dont like to air my dirty laundry so to speak but its  in the morning and im going on hour  of crying and i just need to get some sort of acknowledgement tbh ive been depressed since i was about  and been going to therapy since i was  and every single therapist has said the same thing  you need a support system well how the hell can i get that when i have two abusive parents zero friends a girlfriend who ive scared and burdened enough with my various mental illnesses and am on the verge of breaking up with and severe severe depression that makes it impossible to form any sort of social support the tears are really just falling out of my eyes at this point as im just too depressed to care about crying right now i dont want to die but i dont want to be living either some shitty things going on in my life im broke fat very ugly  these are constants though im failing the only two classes im taking in college my roommates hate me because ive lost all motivation to be a clean and courteous roommate i found out the other day i wont be graduating with the rest of my class and will need to do a fifth year of college which means another year of loans that i wont be able to pay off with my useless degree theres quite literally nothing good going on in my life i just dont see the point in trying to carry on anymore ive been to hospitals they do nothing im on  different medications and i still feel this shitty its almost like i dont even want to get better i dont even want to be happy i just want this all to be over so i can get some rest and quiet what i want the most is to have someone close to me tell me that yes this fucking sucks but yes there are people who care about me and want me to get better its just never going to happen,3.0
10722, prevents depressionlike behavior by increasing hippocampal brainderived neurotrophic factor levels in m httpstcoppsrsteddj,1.0
10723,mallox ce bordel ,2.0
10724,can anyone talk dae feel depressed to the point it sucks their life away yet the are seemingly functional i am a pretty seemingly  functional person i have three degrees a somewhat impressive resume im passionate about volunteering and social justice i have a job at a nonprofit and a small business but im depressed af i have a shit relationship with my family nc with my mom lcnc with my brothers lc with my sister i really have no contact with any other family members all of my grand parents are dead so is my dad who i was closest with anyways i work part time and i choose my hours but im really not wanting to go in from time to time like today im still in my pajamas and didnt go into work luckily i screwed up my schedule and said i accidentally put that i wasnt coming in today luckily for me i didnt come in today and looked at my schedule and saw i wasnt in anyways but the point is i am so fucking a mess i seriously wasnt able to go into work because i have no energy to by functional but my work doesnt know well i dont think they doi guess my point is im depressed i dont know why well maybe it has something to do with my family or lack of i have happy stuff in my life and i do well but wtf am i so depressedlss does anyone feel comfortable in life but is so depressed that it can potentially affect their life but they are so good at hiding it  ,3.0
10725,mahengunasekara must be going cheap ,0.0
10726,i dont think i am a nice person when i am hungry  i have to work on that,0.0
10727,nettebao quotthey really b holding me down they find out stuff that i didnt even no aboutquot were his exact words ,0.0
10728,thischicklb lmao my best friends are all dorks  kay,0.0
10729,megssoul see no biggie  dont forget to breathe lady d,0.0
10730,another day with the books ,2.0
10731,has a minging headache ,2.0
10732,sitting at the dr office  feel like i have been ran over by a steam roller,2.0
10733,cialina lmao sorry that i got you sick  latin wasnt that bad but there were a couple of random vocab words i still dont get matrices,2.0
10734, see ya charly,0.0
10735, hanging on by the skin of my teeth dont know what to say other than the headline on paper my life is blessed amazing partner  great kids goodish joband half a dozen living wills stashed around the house explaining what i want done with my remains if theyre found i have no intention of being found i wanna grab my board paddle out and just go i cant talk to my partner shed never understand that its not her im just fucking sick and for reasons i cant explain i dont want to be here we could exhaust ourselves with all the phd talk ptsd survivors guilt all that crap i just know im running out of fight and why should you have to fight to exist i want off the fucking ride,3.0
10736,god damn it i need some sleep ,2.0
10737,andyclemmensen heyyy you always look nice  wanna come to my friends party its june  long weekend in sydney ,0.0
10738, sorry for the delay saw your message now im doing fine how are you have a nice day here in brazil is just  ,0.0
10739,globes fucked up ,2.0
10740,ceeez blxbb as has capitalism  gfc  crash the great depression,1.0
10741,womens college softball is easily addicting ,0.0
10742,back in bed for the  time today its the warmest place in my house ,2.0
10743,floorlibrarian maybe you have pig flu ,0.0
10744,necolebitchie thanks for the morning treat i can work now ,0.0
10745,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
10746,the numbness depression makes me feel causes me to turn promiscuous in order to feel something does anyone else feel this way what should i do as a rape and sexual abuse victim sex has somehow been the only thing i was useful for whereby it would please my abuser and make me feel worthy to live that day as he wouldnt continue with any other sexual physical abuse once he was pleased recently ive been experiencing another wave of depression ive been diagnosed with mdd for  years and ive been having the urge to engage in sexual activity i know that this sounds damaging but i dont think i am old enough to process it yet im  i dont enjoy sex at all in fact its painful for me and it seems like the whole time im just trying to please the person and prove to myself that im useful and appreciated thus worthy to stay in this world it sounds so dumb i know but the depression overwhelms me to the point that i cant take it anymore it numbs all my emotions and sometimes even the ability to think clearly engaging in sexual activity seems to be the only thing that allows me to escape from that numbness at the moment even if i dont enjoy it or if its just plain painful and scary does anyone else feel like this i read in an article that it might be common for depressed teenagers to become promiscuous but ive never really talked about it in real life and asked around what should i do ,3.0
10747,   thats in blackberry talk ,0.0
10748,twittering at  i think i might have insomnia or something hate sleepless nights ,2.0
10749,truelogic hello true logic   yes i am very much into sl its been a long time now i presume you are as well,0.0
10750,im watching tv now mascerade xd i love katy perry but i cant see her  the southside festival ,2.0
10751,beezygirlsodmg tell her i said hey too why dont she wanna talk to me ,2.0
10752,twenty minutes later my yoga teacher has still not shown up  yoga fail  ,2.0
10753,dear much music i hate you for your sucky ring tone delivery ,2.0
10754,about to have a spectacular evening with amazing people ,0.0
10755,quotyour voice haunts me everyday and your touch will never fade awayquot nikki lorenzo ,0.0
10756,goin to bed and tomorrow school argh i dont want to go ,2.0
10757,briannajayde  aw love hope you feel better been to the doc,2.0
10758,douglasbass i supose no other restaurant would want waffle house songs on their jukebox ,0.0
10759,quedé sin un cinco que sad,2.0
10760,pcdmelodyt ashleyltmsyf have fun in singapore girls ,0.0
10761,nusretnina i am completely done now too ,0.0
10762,why does the day suddenly feel so heavy all i want to do is sleep  theres an odd day that i am energetic and then another day it takes all i have to peel myself off the bed and go to work my eyes feel heavy and the world seems grey listening to angry rock music   i dont feel like doing anything not even mindlessly watching tv ,3.0
10763,donniewahlberg trust me ill be there rain or shine  c u next week in pittsburgh,0.0
10764,the new moon trailer   november  ,0.0
10765,mmeenaks  henry sugar is one of my favorite stories  the best i have read ,0.0
10766,rt veganelff rt if youre a vegan and your  omega  and vitamin d levels are perfectly fine ,0.0
10767,rt  therapist coin the termtrump anxiety disorderthink its bad nowwait till the snowflakes go to their their therapist an,2.0
10768,blonde moment just thought the tutor locked me in the class then realized all i had to do was turn the lock thing everyone was laughing ,2.0
10769,varshamohan you are a selfobsessed kutti loosu ,0.0
10770,rip koko taylor she was the best the greatest and the meanest female blues singer out there i will miss her a lot ,2.0
10771,doesnt like seeing animals in cages ,2.0
10772,hhhaaaits too refreshing ,0.0
10773,ha thanks for all the sympathy everyone and for using my injury as an excuse not to work out  i think ill probably live,0.0
10774,i love kamikaze but as a martini with a touch of vermouth in a martini glass i could have up to  before i stop and think about it ,0.0
10775,jlpagano sounds like a good plan ,0.0
10776,post  depression twitter ,2.0
10777,my fish died ,2.0
10778,hahaha i got a text from some random number telling me i won  dollars hahahaha i wish it wasnt some dodgy scam ,2.0
10779, yeah theyre my girls haha mischievous but i wouldnt have it any other way ,0.0
10780,lissyx very pretty lissy i love the color ,0.0
10781,hmmm new search bar on twitter ,0.0
10782, maxinec its a friends phonea wee sony ericsson and its so cute but im gona b too cut off from the world ,2.0
10783,ruue haha  what are you doing this weekend,0.0
10784,needs to stop being distracted and study for tomorrows paper ,2.0
10785,parents coming back tuesday time to tidy up the house ,2.0
10786,patchjacaranda shit heed ,0.0
10787,jamespatronnl im all up for that pic  ,0.0
10788,just had a real nice ego boost ,0.0
10789,waiting for your name to be called during attendance,0.0
10790,mom just brought me wrath of khan apparently she forgot it before now i have i  v and generations on vhs ,0.0
10791,nataliebrown hola natalie that was fantastic no fishes but fun he he he how was your easter all ok there ,0.0
10792,its all so clear now finally found the right supplements that lifted up my mental state enough to keep up a regular exercise regimen not two weeks later i wake up with pain in my lungs not like anything ive felt before okay i get it life i have to die if i see our creator up there im going to spit in his face fuck it all,3.0
10793,missberray  this made me sooo sad,2.0
10794,maybe im just meant to be alone im beginning to think im not meant to communicate with other people every conversation i have feels like a desperate attempt to hold the other persons attention while they toss out pity replies every few hours i dont know what im doing wrong but people just dont want to talk to me at all maybe im overthinking it but the amount of times ive had a conversation fizzle out in seconds cant possibly be a coincidence my inbox consists entirely of read receipts and i feel completely hopeless no matter how hard i try ill never be someone people enjoy interacting withi really need to just stop trying i guess im just meant to be a social outcast awkward as all hell and completely worthless in every wayi really wish i was dead im feeling more and more hopeless every day im alive,3.0
10795,but i found him sa may terrace instead sitting singing quotlalalaquot and eating lang ang cute nya tingnan ,0.0
10796, like that  why,0.0
10797,no one is signing up to come talk  the lighting on this webcam sucks ,2.0
10798,quotmy spoon is too bigquot lol now i cant eat my delicious on the go breakfast on the daycamper bus  lol   ,2.0
10799,food not cooked by dragonfaery tastes wrong shes also wonderful funny amp gorgeous im not going to see her for  weeks ,2.0
10800, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,1.0
10801,i havent quit coughing since i was sick i gotta find out the deal this is almost two weeks now since i was  healthy ,2.0
10802,i made  phone calls today it may not seem like making a phone call is a difficult task for most but for me baby steps are big leaps ive been putting this off for a while and today i checked everything only the  phone calls off on my to do list for the first time in a very very long time i have no one to share this with and it means a lot to me so thanks for being here,3.0
10803,wow the graduation was crazy not a lot of people but tons of fans i love my fans smooches  congrats class of ,0.0
10804,fun day wish i was still there but too bad i feel like crap ,2.0
10805,just need to say this to someone i am in my mid  working and going to uniatm online courses bc of corona  i feel ashamed for writing this but my mind is full of dark thoughts at the moment and i just want to get it off of my chest before i suffocatei am stuck at work at the moment i might need to put up an allnighter since last week i could not get out of bed and i have fallen behind with uni and work stuff to be honest i am falling apart but i am a pretty good actor so no one has noticed my depression comes and goes and this time its horrible my whole body feels heavy especially my chest i can feel my heart pounding the whole time my thoughts are racing and the only thing that i want is to go to bed hide my head under the cushion and cease to exist the worst part is this feeling in my head and eyes   do you know that feeling that you get when you are emotional seconds before you start crying  like when you are cutting onions and you try to hold your tears back for some days i have been constantly feeling like that it is truly horrible i want to scream hit the wall with my head until it stops and then some more  aside from that i am a fucking idiot due to some stupid decisions i now only have around  euros in my bank account i truly loath myself if i could somehow get out of this body and be in the same room with myself i would beat me up until i showed some of the drive that i used to have in my teens  my thoughts are not even that consistent at the moment i can feel insanely sad and angry and then suddenly feel as dry as sand emotionally  i wish i had someone to share this to be honest i wish i could would feel loved   as the sun is setting down and i am here alone i have this faint voice that tells me to jump outside the window but shit have you ever tried jumping outside a window your whole body freezes and you can not move any muscles your hands get all tingly and sweaty your skin cold you breath slowly but heavily memories start to pop up in your head of people who love you mom dad friends  i will never give up on life though  i do not know if there is anything after death but i doubt it i believe it to be like going under anesthesia devoid of consciousness one returns to nothing and that is a truly sad but also reassuring thought,3.0
10806,good job ,0.0
10807,why have a shklance icon if u dont ship shklance that gives me anxiety fam ,2.0
10808,ive had to walk every where we go today my body is killin me tonight ,2.0
10809,hehe  hour wwe raw special ,0.0
10810,good morning all ,0.0
10811,we need to address mental behavioral health in kids who land in justice system httpstcoyjstspskfu jjienews stoneleighfdn,0.0
10812,lord more family drama  my cousin is too much like me for his own good  i hope his mother works this out with him  ,2.0
10813,i want a underwater camera ,2.0
10814,trintellixvyvanse i have been taking trintellix for about a year and my doctor just prescribed vyvanse for a binge eating disorder is anyone else on this mix of drugs what dosage did you start withare you on now is it working for you,3.0
10815,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
10816,tried to get help after years didnt work this is probably more of a outburst than anything else but if theres a place where i can vomit all of this shit is this sub i guessi started having depressive episodes when i was  i am now  and even though it doesnt seem like a long time a lot has happened in those  years and my depression has only aggravated since theni never got any kind of help i never felt comfortable talking about my feelings and i really believed i eventually would just start feeling better i never didi finally decided to ask for help because i started getting desperate by how my mental health kept affecting my personal academic and professional life im broke tho and couldnt ask my parents to pay for a private therapist so i just signed up for a public psychologist that works in my college campus where i didnt have to pay when i did it i felt like i accomplished so much and felt so excited about getting betteri went to an appointment back in november where the psychologist asked a few questions kinda like an anylisis of my situation and she said i would eventually get contactedi never did i fucking hate this i kept all of this sadness and hatred and anger inside of me for years and when i actually decide to get help in hopes that i could get better the only thing that comes my way is the feeling that even a psychologist despises me i dont know what to do i realized i cant do this by myself i feel bad every day of my life and i cant pay for a private therapist and i am afraid itll be too late one i canim so sorry for the drama for those who actually read this but i really needed to rant  somewhere,3.0
10817,ugh just realized that only like  of my apps have been updated w  cmptblty which means barring a slew of app updates no  tom ,2.0
10818,ok that was kinda tricky but yeah sister act and all those songs are rightwe miss ms hill ,2.0
10819,unpacked most of my parents closet put together their new dvd cabinet and fit in lots of family time today feelin pretty productive ,0.0
10820,dang had to turn down a promotion at work since im moving hmph sucks ,2.0
10821,rt kofimagne when anxiety was great within me your consolation brought joy to my soul psalm ,0.0
10822,i want to end it all but seriously dont know why i am seriously wanting to put an end to it all but i really do not know why i can barely sleep anymore feel like i am losing all my friends around me on purpose ending stuff with a girl i like and i dont know why i am doing all this i feel afraid  of myself feels like i cant control myself anymore i am in good shape i workout everyday been captain of a cheerleading team had lots of social life but here i am and i truly do not know why i feel like i shouldnt be here i dont think i have a true reason to be like thisdont know why i am posting this at all maybe a last desperate call for help i dont knowhelp,3.0
10823,i felt like sharing this today hi i had a mental breakdown in the shower today thinking about how i dont feel i have a life and cant think of the last time i had fun it seems like everyone on the planet is having fun and are happy except for me i am depressed that i dont even have a friend to share my feelings with its is just getting harder everyday and feels so suffocating i dont understand why i should go through all of tgis i dont even feel there is any light at the end of this darktunnel i am posting this not for attention ot anything else i just wanted to get my feelings out i am not suicidal,3.0
10824,im pathetic im pathetici just spent half an hour crying over the fact that my exams arent going ahead thats it im such a sorrow fuck all meaning in my life disappears because id added so much weight to those exams and what they meant and ended up with them being cancelled because of the coronavirus now i have fuck all to look forward to my social anxiety isnt getting any better so im still gonna be stuck with fuck all friends when i get to uni im too fucking autistic to even have small talk with people and i deliberately avoid people because i know the conversations i have with them will only worsen the situation i know people talk negatively about me behind my back and the worst thing about it is that theyre all right about the things they say about me guess ill just never live a fulfilling life,3.0
10825,i dont know which is worse i feel like for the last couple years almost as a selfdefense mechanism from years of feeling so intensely all the time i just got exhausted and numb i feel like recently ive slowly started to break out of the numbness and started to slip back into the intense sadness and rage i was at before i honestly dont think i remember what just being happy feels like the best i can hope for is content on a good day,3.0
10826,whats the point honestly what is the point of life for the last few years i have felt dead inside a numb kind of feeling i dont have an interest in anything i met a girl a few weeks back who changed all of that i began to feel hopeful about life she is perfect and we get on really well i thought someone actually liked me i asked her out but of course she only wants to be friends now i feel worse than ever that bit of hope has destroyed me i feel so useless and unwanted whats the point of living like this ,3.0
10827,listening to hatin on the club by rihanna   music,0.0
10828,beautiful morning  going for a jog at hyde park with naraerae i just realized how unfit i am after yesterday,0.0
10829,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
10830,id like to learn more about my twitter pals if you feel comfortable please share who are you what is inside what makes you you ,0.0
10831,i just woke up and found out about this sad news stay strong kuya tehyung 💜,0.0
10832,senior year ,0.0
10833,argh moron at office messed up and in the end i got i caught in the firing line back to real life now ,2.0
10834,there are a lot of new ideas i want to write down now  excited,0.0
10835,job made me depressed so i moved to a new town last year and had to quit my job i was at for  years i dont think ill ever find a job as good as that one when i moved to this town i worked for the bank and hated it and then got a job at an eye doctors which wasnt great but it was ok i got recruited for another job which sounded amazing and like what i had done for the last  yearsfast forward six months and all ive pretty much done is scan documents they basically lied to me about what the job would entail and it wasnt anything i expected they waited  months to hire me on as a permanent employer and not through the recruitment agency i absolutely hate it here its given me depression again i was finally in a good place and then this happened i have so much regret i wish o never took this job its near impossible to get out of bed in the morning i cry on the drive in to work and i just want to quit i dont have another job right now to fall back on though so im scared i also feel bad if i quit because they just hired me fulltime which is their problem i guess but i have a conscious and i worry what people think of me i feel so trapped i dont know what to doplease said me your advice and opinions,3.0
10836,rt mochimanggae hows a liscensed mental health professional out here calling ppl that share stories about their own mental health throug,0.0
10837,blastingadookie i know who it is ,0.0
10838,waiting for my amazing bestfriend to arrive yaaaaay  friday nights together remind me of primary days lol,0.0
10839,watching spectial agent oso   ha its adorable ,0.0
10840,rt kajmhnaps be stronger than whatever today is going to throw at you check out my blog mental health naps at httpstcojexprgrfus,2.0
10841,finally found a dress for the wedding but now hubbys job is in peril  its gonna get rocky round here ,2.0
10842,laurenmallory ugh i see youre at it again this morning ha ,0.0
10843,creatingorder well thats always a bonus isnt it ,0.0
10844,on my way to church ,0.0
10845,back on the downalator ive been monitoring my moods since last year when i realized for the first time in my life that i have an inherited invisible illness to cope with which is why life is not easy for me i sought help from a psychiatrist who gave me the diagnosis that i had shuddered to hear he prescribed me meds and i take them religiously the antidepressant did nothing for  weeks then i noticed one day that i was out driving as opposed to finding every excuse to stay indoors and that i felt happy for no reason not happy as in my hyper life and soul of the party segments happy as in profoundly content with all aspects of my life i was happy i had found freedom after my divorce happy it was just me and the dog happy that i didnt have to share my bed or the sofa with anyone it was odd but nice i have only ever felt that kind of happiness twice in my life one age  and one age  now in my fifties i was shocked to find a second day like it then a third it was so cool i wondered if this was how normal people got to feel every day i said as much on day  of feeling good to my psychiatrist he was pleased and upped my medication so that i could continue to feel great day  fab day  day  same day  was yesterday ugh on the downalator and feeling worthless does it mean the meds will never work,3.0
10846,buzzfs nice when was the last time you were there ,0.0
10847,ehh i feel sick and sigauney is been lazy she doesnt wanna get up to come say bye ,2.0
10848,new year same problems i apologize for the longwhiny post but i need to vent  hopefully this helps clear my head so i can get some sleep tonight about a week ago i was talking with a friend i will call him derek and the topic of new years came up i told derek that i did not have any plans at which point his girlfriend kim suggested that i join them on a trip up north to hang out with her friend sara whom kim tried to set me up with about a year ago but i was just not in a good place to start dating and within a few weeks she was dating someone else ken  at this time derek let me know that kim wanted to set us up again i recently about three weeks ago i got the dreaded i just want to be friends from another woman that i had been hanging out with for a little over a month  this made me a little hesitant since it had not been too long since the rejection but i agreed to go  the plan was to go up sunday afternoon stay the night at saras and leave monday morningfast forward to the sunday night and we are at a house part hosted by one of saras friends  it is still early and i find myself talking with kim at the party kim is asking me if i am interested in sara and i tell her i am  she gets a huge smile on her face as she was talking with sara earlier and she was interested in me  at this point my head is going crazy i am probably the happiest i have been in years i start to think finally something good is happening  midnight comes around and sara and i are standing next to each other the countdown ends and for some reason i cannot pull the trigger and kiss her  i am an idiot of course the party continues and i go outside with derek to smoke a cigarette cope thinking that i blew it with this awesome girl  we come back in and mingle with the other partygoers  i find myself talking with sara alone we talk for a while and then in the middle of our conversation she leans in a kisses me  i am back on cloud nine i didnt screw this up  it is about  am now and we head out as sara has to be to work at  am  we get back to saras place and start getting ready for bed i am in saras room with her as kim and derek climb onto the air mattress in the living room the original sleeping arrangements were for kim to sleep in saras room on an air mattress and derek and i were to sleep on a couch and air mattress in the living room  so there sara and i are sitting on her bed and we say goodnight and she looks at the air mattress that was setup on her floor  i get the hint and climb in i dont think too much of it as this is the first night that we have really hung out and the fact that she has to wake up in  hoursthe next morning kim derek and i wake up and clean up saras house  we decide that we should grab some breakfast before heading home kim texts sara to see if she would like us to bring her anything which she does  it dawns on me that in all of the excitement of the night i never asked sara for her number i am determined to get it before leaving  we get to saras office and head in she is there with one other coworker  as we say our goodbyes she hugs me and then as i am about to ask for her number someone says something to her and she looks away  i lose all the confidence that i had to ask and leave  the drive home is hell all i can think about is how i missed my chance after what was probably the best night off my life in  years  kim drops derek and myself off at dereks and he asks me why i didnt ask her for her number i tell him that i didnt want to ask in front of her coworker which is half true  he says that he will talk to kim who will in turn talk to sara and send me her number  i hate this as it is like i am back in high school but it is the only option i have  i do not hear back from derek on monday night and my head goes straight to the worse possible reason sara wants nothing to do with me  i talk myself down from that scenario as derek and i had made plans for tuesday  tuesday comes around and derek and i hang out i do not bring up anything with sara the entire time until it is time to leave  i ask derek if kim had talked to her and he breaks the news ken saras ex is moving back to town  this is information that kim knew prior to inviting me but she does not want sara to get back together with ken so she was hoping that we would hit it off and that she would not want to get back with her ex  so now here i am feeling awful rejected two times in a month  how could something be going so right and end so abruptly  i am not sure if sara wants to get back together with her ex or as i was told her ex coming back to town is just messing with her head and she doesnt want to get hurt again  kim and derek said that they would talk with her and let me know but now i feel like i shouldnt even try anymore it always ends the same,3.0
10849,i read where kids are bastardizing englishnothing new americas been fucking with it for years ,2.0
10850,watching sonny with a chance ,0.0
10851,happy sunday just jet skied kayaked and water skied sooo fun last day in mexico ,2.0
10852,had cupcakes and cappuccino for breakfast and i prepared both myself wmy sweetheart us amp ita get together well ,0.0
10853, oh sorry to hear about your grandpa   yea just keep me updated,2.0
10854,emptiness hello this is my first time ever posting on this subreddit but ive had a pretty shitty day so i thought i would let it all out today was my first day back at college for second semester of my sophomore year and i felt so alone i have friends but i dont have that friend the one i could tell anything to etc i have been crying for the past hour because i wish my life was different i have a twin sister who has everything i dont have i sometimes feel like theres a reason why my life is such shit i just wish i had someone besides my parents and family my anxiety is back and i feel like crying every minute thinking about my life and how im so alone does anyone else feel like this,3.0
10855,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
10856,laurenconrad i cant believe you will not be on the hills anymore ,2.0
10857,doing my welsh assignment n  in by   she gave us  weeks to do it and im only just starting ahh,2.0
10858,saturday  good morning  ,0.0
10859,rt mochimanggae hows a liscensed mental health professional out here calling ppl that share stories about their own mental health throug,1.0
10860,it is sad that the majority of nepali twitter community hardly twitt or retwitt about border management regulation ,2.0
10861,toonstopia you will need to log in new to it myself lol hope you like it ,0.0
10862,i feel at peace at  i started cuttingat  i was diagnosed with a severe depressive disorderat  i started thinking about killing myself got close one time years later its still a constant bug in the back of my head i realize some of these things are trivial and not something to get upset about but my mind puts itself through agony just to live through iti have to go  of the way for just about all of my relationships i could spend weeks off the grid and hardly anyone would notice,3.0
10863,im a little tired today  was too early to get up ziggy ,2.0
10864,im so tired  this isnt fun anymore ha,2.0
10865,how to concentrate on my hobbies with this depression and anxiety keeping me away hi everyone im an illustrator and i love to draw but it becomes pretty hard for me to draw just for fun i try really hard but after managing to sit only for sometime at my drawing table i just want to go back to bed i dont know whats wrong with me i cant even enjoy drawing now please help any small suggestion is welcome sorry for my stupid question,3.0
10866,my feelings are driving me crazy i feel very lost and confused at the moment ive took to realize that in some sort of facet i feel emotion but it all feels so distant and short lived in the back of my head like i feel emotion in the background but in the present front of my conciousness i feel almost seeming nothing its like looking at emotion through a clouded window anybody else feel similar almost as if im numb but not,3.0
10867,rt onues la depresión le puede ocurrir a cualquiera más de  millones de personas en el mundo la padecen hablar de ello ayuda elim,2.0
10868,mileycyrus omgosh your coming here but i have no money  and by the time i do i kno tickets will be sold out once again ,2.0
10869,racist yorkshire whod have thought it ,2.0
10870,well that was painful  goodnight and goodluck,2.0
10871,juliabrowne  theres a ferry from bratislava to vienna maybe you should try it qq coisa eu pergunto pruma amiga q mora lah ,0.0
10872,is brazil tommorow ,0.0
10873,i really hate when plans dont work  i  wanna have a movie night ,2.0
10874,jackaaron thats bad ,2.0
10875,wow i havent stopped thinking about the jonas brothers or taylor lautner since sunday their amazingness is driving me crazy ,2.0
10876,venlafaxine withdrawals i have always struggled with depression after having a baby i got terrible postpartum depression and anxiety finally figured out with my psychiatrist that the highest dose of venlafaxine combined with clonazepam three times daily helped me not want to die every day and feel mostly normal despite feeling constantly tired ive ended one job and started another leading to a lapse in health insurance ive had to rather quickly taper down off of all of my medications as an upwards of  for meds this month isnt in the budget at any rate my withdrawal symptoms are horrible debilitating constant headaches flu like symptoms body tingle and itches dizziness along with horrible anxiety and the awful darkness creeping in i only need to survive  weeks until i can get a refill and call my doctor to get in again ive been too embarrassed to tell him of my situation as weve discussed several times the need to stay on a maintenance dose when the time came instead of just stopping as i have a history of doing this time it was out of necessity but im hating every moment of it i have two children who are really only making my waking moments more of a struggle lately and i feel bad for feeling this way ive had crying spells panic attacks bd just honestly feel like im going to die from how bad all of this feels im afraid my teeth are going to fall out because of lol of my clenching im doing during the day and dont realize till afternoonevening when chewing is painful any tips to survive this how can i make it through i feel like i cant do this ,3.0
10877,how come selenagomez and ddlovato arnt going on tour together that makes me sad not seeing them together ,2.0
10878,i really dont want to go to work today its not even payday and i still have to work tomorrow too ,2.0
10879,my mildly disabled brother has killed any chance of me achieving life goals he has essentially ruined my life i dont want to sound selfish the guilt eats at me every damn day the envy eats at me every dayi sometimes wish he wasnt around or just normal so i could have a normal lifeim super fucking envious of my friends theyve all moved abroad they are experiencing the world life all of it  i cant do that my brother cant keep friends i have to be there for himor hell just end up a lonely outcasti dread when my parents pass away or if he retires later in life hell never leave me the fuck alonei have nightmares that i will be perpetually single because he will destroy all my relationships by being a third wheel and that well grow old and ill be filled with regret and bitterness all in the name of appeasing my brotheri just want to live i want to travel i can feel my life slipping away ive seen countless documentaries where this has happened to others they just give up their lives in the name of keeping someone else happyim not a carer i never asked for this it eats me up inside my friends are all moving forward and i cant,3.0
10880,living past your reason to live all last year i told myself that infinity war was my reason to live and now endgame is something to look forward for me very scared of when it passes i know this is weird but does anyone else have similar issues,3.0
10881,crop stomp frog hop  fan club  munchy monk  dog ninja ,0.0
10882,im hungrydue to last nights dinneror lack there of someone take care of me ,2.0
10883,tommcfly get well soon tom any of idea when the next uk tour will be missin you guys already  please reply x,2.0
10884,depression finna ruin my summer,2.0
10885,samraynham awwwww  im sure youll get some real people following you soon p but for now youll have to put up with my random tweets p,2.0
10886,and to add insult to injury moms boyfriend is in my spot in the bed and there is a dog on the bedroom floor  ,2.0
10887,you about to be a mental health patient with a fat ass,1.0
10888,catalinelechat me too and i have a sunlounger now you wont recognise me on monday ,0.0
10889,off to work ,2.0
10890,least favorite does anyone else come to the realization that youre the least important and least favorite friend out of your friend group happened to me today  never wanna hang out with them again,3.0
10891,traceymmm emjaystar   ill be gentle pwomise ,0.0
10892,i havent posted fan art in  ever and i hate the anxiety it brings but hey here we go,2.0
10893,smoked to stop being sad now im just sad and high,1.0
10894,luxephotography sure  blame it on the fish ,0.0
10895,why sometimes it feels like ur bff might be gone ,2.0
10896,ajtpianoman and mmm as in well you be the judge ,0.0
10897,rt brianbeutler republicans will defend trump all the way until every election turns on which party hands over more of us foreign policy,0.0
10898,silksmom click on the name and you can see the profile  i had two followersone was cable the other was cell phones  all spam  ,2.0
10899,deciding to perform human living tasks here i am feeling like shit in my room wondering whats wrong with me and my life when it hits me i havent eaten dinner or lunchdepression hits in different ways and in different levels and today mine made me nauseous and unwilling to eati just want to recognize and salute those of us who make themselves do what other people may not think of having to do this shit is hard but were doing itive realized that simple foods are the most easy to eat when im like this i have ready to eat chicken skewers in the oven and i know this will passsending all of you a lot of love,3.0
10900,erikkajayne i think the reason a lot of the single guys you know realize the veracity behind that quote and choose not to fall in love ,0.0
10901,rt gabbbbriellle omg yes 😣😖 ,0.0
10902,should i tell my boyfriend i want to kill myself ive had depression for a very long time and hes known this but lately its been pretty bad i barely eat im awake for maybe  hours a day and when i am awake all i can think about is ending it he always tells me to talk to him but every time i do he starts to cry because it hurts him seeing me like this i dont wanna reach out to friendsloved ones because it feels weird and it also feels like im burdening them i know i shouldnt trust my brain is telling me so anyone have any advice what should i do and no i dont have a plan to kill myself i just think about a lot although i am afraid ill start planning something soon,3.0
10903,i still have a headache ,2.0
10904,its cold and i get to walk  miles to churchburrrr ,2.0
10905,priceless,0.0
10906,is doing homework ,2.0
10907,do you feel more of a risk taker and live life more dangerously since your first bout of depression im currently in a state of numbness when i first had my first bout of depression its as if i developed this eff it attitude and started doing whatever i felt like without a single care in the world its as if i dont really care about my own safety can anyone relate,3.0
10908,my roommates my only friends are leaving i cant stop crying i have an hard time making friends but after living togheter with someone for a while i find it easier to open up long story short my old roomates my closest friends are leaving the country and my new roomates wich we shared many memories with are going their own way and im heartbroken,3.0
10909,cigarritos   dps  do secsu 😜😜 me  deixa sad d,2.0
10910,the word quotgirdquot as in quotgird up your loinsquot makes me laugh mandymcgraw  youll recover  i abuse ya because i love ya lol,0.0
10911,thisistors just a cheeky  my knee hurts ,2.0
10912,katy perry on american idol ,0.0
10913,josefloresjr thats mean to even mess with me like that i have had a long day amp have a  hour drive home left amp i really wanted it ,2.0
10914, aww but i liked it and was just playing it ,2.0
10915,doing this to myself sometimes i wonder if im the sole cause of all of my depression i run expecting the next place to be better it never is because im always there i wrote this tonight as i came to this realization i couldnt hide from myself there too many people assuming they knew the real me the happy me the confident me the in control me the not me me because really im ashamed of my insecurities afraid my future is stagnant awfully aware that my life really isnt going anywhere  so i ran i ran from the half built relationships seeking fuller ones ran from the mediocre seeking something better and i got there somewhere else that is miserable as ever crying myself to sleep at night because now i didnt have half built friendships i had none a snake wrapped himself around me and i was transfixed for a moment on the possibility of a lifetime only to realize that all he really wanted last night so i ran i ran to paradise i ran to rainbows i ran to island breeze i can breathe a little easier here but i found what i always find me the overweight wannabe creative the clothes too tight lips too loose awkward weirdo who spills coffee way too often thats who i am and the older i get the more ok with it i suppose i am but now that im finally being honest with myself maybe change can actually start,3.0
10916,yay thats three times ive won namecheap now ,0.0
10917,watching john and kate its so sad ,2.0
10918,new post about my site thanks to china   ,0.0
10919,did not have the best dayy ,2.0
10920,theberaca yes you would you psycho woman ahh i have to finish my essay for english ,2.0
10921, i do to go asians  hahahha jk i miss you oliiii,0.0
10922, me too what a joke ,2.0
10923,lovely day except the heat was so icky but i love being with meesh and being a flirt with the guy at noahs  and ireland woooo,0.0
10924,im running around in circles and jumping up and down well maybe not really but i seriously want to but then i wont be acting my age ,2.0
10925,anyone not busy tonight lol everyone seems to wana have a quite one  i been doin that all week eep,2.0
10926,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
10927,wednesday is started cutting myself before that i hit myself with a belt i started to hurt myself when i was  i am  now and i have no idea what to do i am only happy when i am with my girlfriend who is in the same class,3.0
10928,going to be up so late revising tonight ,2.0
10929,i need an opinion my most recent failed relationship had me thinkingwould anyone be willing to put up with and date someone with depression regardless of the severitywith knowing how it makes one act and think even if you dont want to the one with depression i meani keep feeling like im going to stay alone because of this stupid illness and i should just realize the fact i dont know,3.0
10930,awww syempre you left me again ,2.0
10931,help hi everyone ive never posted on here before and i know this might get buried but i really just need some help right now everyone and everythings been getting too much lately and i just wondered if anyone of you live in london is there anywhere you would recommend to go that is just an escape from everything cheap peaceful away from the world kinda place i really really need an escape right now and ive no family here nor am i familiar with places like that around here thank you to everyone who takes their time to read this its much appreciated x,3.0
10932,excessive daysleeping in winter hey everyonei was wondering if anyone around here has experience with the problem in the title and maybe some tips to overcome itfor context i usually get into depressive episodes when the cold days arrive living in northern germany  the netherlands this year i went to my doctor for the first time for this and now i take citalopram which is meant to be an activating antidepressant it helps my general mood a lothowever i still find myself either sleeping in until afternoon or going back to sleep right after morning classes to only wake up for dinner it seems to be beyond my willpower to break this habitso if anyone might have some useful tips strategies or other input i would greatly appreciate it,3.0
10933,mmm  my avatar is leaving today my world will crumble into pieces ,2.0
10934,why wont the interlacing go away   for the lose,2.0
10935,officialpeta yay ,0.0
10936, season of american idol begins when will these talentless individuals stop everyone knows the real talent lies in us brits ,0.0
10937,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
10938,greenday then and now lol my mum called me a greenie yesterday  pc subtlety nice mum ,0.0
10939,french kiss my mental health goodbye,0.0
10940,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
10941,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
10942,nocarbon looks like i might get stuck with msrp if i want one bleh  hear how ulduar cleanup ended cable problems on the way to freya ,2.0
10943,photoshoot day back from haw par villa ,0.0
10944,moving profile to gtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgt pfchangsrva  please follow there ,0.0
10945,is missing the hatp show today  im a super sad bear,2.0
10946,quickshooter да ну бред про убунту говорил игорь я кровь из но�а грил  что �то пиздато  длинк у мен� был и � его продал next,0.0
10947,am i retarded the idea that i  always have the option of  just killing  myself if i wanted to and end it gives me a sense of security and lifts my mood and makes me less miserable somehow lmao,3.0
10948,rt savantyoongi my heart aches after knowing such sad news today we all know how his grandparents meant to him they raised him very wel,1.0
10949,rt saamtvnews मराठा आरक्षण मागणीसाठी राज्यात आणखी एक बळी  marathakrantimorcha rtmaratha  marathaorg  httpstcov,0.0
10950,mrsvcsp ill read spr if someone writes it ,0.0
10951,reading quoteclipsequot again for the third time already hahaha ive read the whole saga twice already hahaha ,0.0
10952,pushing live rdf from pit and pips into a virtuoso triple store using sparqlupdate  quite happy with this morning hack ,0.0
10953, the jonas brothers from jonas ,0.0
10954,i have no goal ive seen everything from sea to shining sea in hope of something being there for me but nothing ever works in the end and im left feeling like i should recycle myself to the bargain bin because of how worthless i am im an academic of course last i checked i was passing all my classes like stoners passing gasses but life as i know it is just a tycoon nothings ever fucking fun or funny and in a every scenario ill laugh to get away when i have an outburst and confess of my depress all i ever get is were there for you as if thatll fix my fucking problems hell im not even good at poetry everythings always served to me sometimes i feel like falling of a balcony and then fading from this world and in all honesty i have no goals i dont care about love or beating the odds into presidency i dont have any value for money because what would i do with it im good with the shit i have and the future just seems to be what i think of money now i could continue this life and do an outstanding job maybe major in chemistry but then what would i do,3.0
10955,you ever go a day without saying a word happens all the time lately live in an apartment with  other dudes dont think ive had a real life in person conversation in a few days ,3.0
10956,donzeko its a very different show from breaking bad obv but it has that same ability to make you sit in complete skincrawling anxiety,1.0
10957, jealous must say i am ,0.0
10958, perhaps i should seep soon ,0.0
10959,nickcarter so have fun tonigh ,0.0
10960,i have isolated myself  so i was going to school and having a good time with my friends and just enjoying life  then over last summer i started to realize i had no plan and that i was going to go into serious debt for a degree i dont think would have helped me live a life i want to live business so i applied for a full time position and got it they pay is about  and i figured it would be help me save up so that i can take care of stuff that i need to and try to wrap my head around what i want to do with my life i finished last semester and dropped out and moved back with my parents and im working about  hours a week and making decent money so now my only friends are older people i work with who i cant hardly relate to so for the first time i feel truly alone and my depression had returned full force and im having trouble leaving the house now do people in my situation ever return to being a fully functioning individual with a real social life im just looking for hope ,3.0
10961,kyrene i know it made me sniffle ,2.0
10962,sad i didnt get to go today but seriously everytime i cough it hurts my lungs ,2.0
10963,existential crisis seeking the purpose of our existence  is there anyone who is facing existential crisis right now ive been depressed for a while now and me not being able to find any kind of purpose of my existence makes matters worse if you are at a point in your life where you are facing an existential crisis what do you feel and how do you deal with all of it ,3.0
10964,finally hi i dont know where else to express any of this and i guess i need to tell itmy husband and i married five years ago we have since had a child we have communication issues we married too young i guess and were still figuring stuff outfor the first three years of our marriage we lived in the same house as my parents and for the first two years of our marriage my brothers family lived there as well at that time i was best friends with my mother i had other close friends but nothing close to what we hadeven then my husband and i were struggling not only the aforementioned communication issues but intimacy as welli continued to work the initial plan was for me to stop but my mother offered to take care of my child around the second trimester of my pregnancyshe also adviced us to start looking for our own house she shared that my parents house would need to be given over to my brothers family according to her we were financially well off compared to themi thought all of it made sense i thought all of it was fine with my brother and his family i wanted our parents house but i wanted to help my brotherhowever after we had started our downpayments on a new house following issues appeared my brothers wife revealed that she had asked my mother to help take care of her daughter my mother refused and the wife was unable to work the wife also revealed that she did not want to inherit my parents housethe house became vey toxic for me after that my mother confided it had been toxic for her in a long while i just did not notice since i was always at work i could not do much as well because of worka month later my brothers wife accused my husband of violating my nieces vagina when he was tickling her my brother got angry at my husband and mei never believed her my parents also heard her teaching my niece what to say she refused to have my niece examined by a doctormy brother slapped me a couple of times when i tried to reason with him or protect my husband when he charged once he slapped me in front of our parents my father tried to get me to file a blotter but i refused he got reprimanded heavily by our parents then he and his family moved out to a nearby cityi went to a gathering of the extended on my fathers side and got told they would prefer my brother be there than i they knew everything it actually made sense he was the party guy i was the quiet one hanging out in the corners eventually pulling out a book to read the extended on my mothers side was the samemy mother told me she needed to prioritize her relationship with my brother she shared that it was always easier to maintain good relations with a daughter than a son she begged me to understand i told her i would try every weekend my parents would visit them in the other townmy birthday the next year was on a weekend i told her that everything was still fresh and hurts hoping they would not go just that one weekend they wenti was also requested not to tell anyone in my husbands family or my friends i have noti couldnt keep up i still cant keep up to be honesti was born in that house it was a happy house size was just right it didnt look good from the outside our extended family would scoff with their condominiums but it was comfortable and safe i felt loved i loved them all as wellluckily our house got finished and we were able to move out two months afterunluckily i still have to work so we could afford our mortgage payments and i still havent found a replacement sitter for my child i drop off and pick up my kid every weekday at my parents house my mother would regale me with stories about my past teacher her old friends and especially my brothers family i just try to get out of there as fast as i can without being rudesometimes my brother would be there i  tell my husband to wait outside just in case my brother and i stare daggers at each other insidemy career has staled and im finding it difficult to be motivated i just try to finish my tasks and go get my kid i used to love my job and spend more than eight hours at the office i used to study in my downtime regarding the industry but its such a chore now there is some major pain in the past but ive told too much already im just dying to move oni am still in pain but i can take it most of the time there are days i cant and i ask my husband for help but hes very closed off it has never worked and i feel even more sad and alone afterwardshe just told me that he doesnt understand why im still hurt and seem to be hurt even more than him he was the one accused unjustly i catch myself thinking of slitting my wrists like right now its a struggle to think of the positives sometimes my kid our house our car our companys benefits and general culture we can still work on our communication issues theres still hopei wont do it this day writing this helped maybe i can find someone else to tell,3.0
10965,emily you went to school aww ,2.0
10966,i really wish i had the money to go home for my cousins wedding next weekend ,2.0
10967,im such a saddo im excited about a movie trailer never mind the actual movie  not goodd x,2.0
10968,i kinda resent the love my family and friends have for me because its the only thing stopping me from killing myself people always tell depressed people about how much their suicide will affect the people around them and all that and i know thats true im not under the impression that nobody loves me or anything i know my family and friends would be devastated if i died and it would fuck up my parents and siblings but this immature selfish part of me just thinks of that as like an unfair burden that i never asked for like yeah it would affect them but thats the only reason i have for staying alive meanwhile they all have their own accomplishments and theyre enjoying their lives and have their own reasons for living it feels immature and petty reading that over but anyway i just wanted to rant a bit,3.0
10969,tiawood  look at that we made some connections tonight thats what twitter is about ,0.0
10970,im goin  try this smokeless cannabis inhaler ,0.0
10971,there is nothing to do for the next hour here  i want to just get on the plane and get to buenos aires,2.0
10972,when ur already on the floor do you know that feeling when youre already on the floor you dont even know why you are still living or breathing but for some reason you can still fight back and stand up but than this one person who always cheered you up breaks your neck,3.0
10973,omg whats wrong with you people stop throwing hates at writers and to all writers please dont be sad cus all o ,1.0
10974,hey hey anybody help me change the colour of my twitter i dont know howww ,2.0
10975,rayonativia oh stomp that i didnt mean it that way though now i know why i see you tweet and suddenly want rice and wasabi ,0.0
10976,tommcfly hope to see you at the airport todaaaaaay sorry about me and my friend welling yesterday when you arrived  love u,2.0
10977, i am in the same boat we really want to heal gabes gut but i feel like we keep having little setbacks here and there   ,2.0
10978,yay  shots done ,0.0
10979,sayraoatcakes yay for feeling less mental ,0.0
10980,im so bored i wanna go out with my friends ,2.0
10981,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
10982,at loserluigi house for the tonys amp if youre in the area u should come cough  ohmikejones  samathaaamor ,0.0
10983,rt pancakeparadox ok i am not varnishing or sensationalizing any details here faba of all sad sacks of shit has successfullya first,2.0
10984,morning twitterland in the words of danny wood i just twatted you lol is it too early in the day to use that word ,0.0
10985,prolly shouldnt be handling large knives while intoxicated but at least everyone likes my socks ,0.0
10986,my life is only getting worse this is it ive reached another all time low  for the past  months ive done absolutely nothingi tried to sign up for schools to at least do something but no no school wants to have me my psychiatrist doesnt take me serious i have no friends i hate my family and not a single person ever in my life showed even the slightest affection to mei am nothing and everyone treats me that way  my social anxiety is getting worse every day i cant even look at people anymore  the only positive thing in my life right now is that one girl in my support group who also hasnt shown any kind of interest in my and as if i could tell her that i probably like her its so pathetic im pathetici hate every aspect of this stupid life  fuck everything,3.0
10987,do you know yourself i feel off right now i dont know how to explain how i feel i just know that i dont feel like myself after digging down a bit i realized i feel angry and sad at the same time but not particularly directed at myself anyone or thing i guess i just feel like that its very annoying to have to be around people when i feel like this because they notice something is wrong and its so hard to explain so i say nothing and try to act normal i just wish i could afford a therapist sorry yall just venting but anyone else often feel this way,3.0
10988,check out my website wwwdaisygerberacouk ,0.0
10989,why is this happening to me ive honestly just been on a downhill slope emotionally for the last few months last week i stopped showing up for work and have been in bed since january  todays the  i honestly thought it was my demanding job that was making me feel like this with  hour work weeks and never getting more than a day off i thought if i just quit my mood would change and my body would stop hurting and my head would stop pounding but if anything i think im just inching further and further into myself im exhausted and cant even hold a conversation with my family anymore ive only left my house twice since last week to get fast food which i couldnt even finish because every time i eat lately i instantly feel like vomiting what even is that i set small plans for myself to try and get out of bed and i can never actually get up and do it i couldnt even tell you the last time i washed my hair i dont know whats going on with me or how im managing to sleep for  hours a day any tips on how to keep food down would be greatly appreciated ive been going days without eating because i just cant do it if anyone has any answers for me on why this is happening please for the love of god tell me,3.0
10990,second time going out in a rage punched the door went to the doctors for the first time since ever and now hopefully on the path to wellness just wanted to get this off my chest i had moved in with some friends after my dad passed the months had been tolling on my brain living with friends and the responsibilities of a grown adult had overwhelmed me ive had  episodes of having a manic attack where i outed my friends hearing things and losing control of my sanity working in an office desk from a job that had me working with customers my mind was losing its sanity to the point i thought i had to kill myself in order to find peace losing control and punching the door leaving a big gaping holerecent today i had gone to the doctors and gotten to talk to a professional about my feelings of anxiety unprovoked guilt and feelings of terror and suicide she had immediately shown care to me the way ive never felt before feeling calm of the situation after letting everything out id driven home and while driving back i couldnt help but tearing up that this is going to get better this will be better i just want to let someone know of my turmoil and rough background in hopes of being able to relate to someone and to say that we are in this together,3.0
10991,limegreenmodern hmm yes  but my bf ordered it well done i like it kinda thick and doughyish ,0.0
10992,ethan what are ya doingme i just woke up from a depression napethan youve been sleeping all dayme gep,1.0
10993,its back  work  ,2.0
10994,never thought bfd tickets would sell out abhorredlife stormvincent  ,2.0
10995,is a lil upset she got dissed from going to the shooting range this morning bc guys wanted a guy day ,2.0
10996,is bored dont know what to do today ,2.0
10997,sammyrichards can you please goto  and vote for me ,0.0
10998,listening to the climb by the one amp only mileycyrus  i love this song ,0.0
10999,jaybby i know why would somebody use my identity for a new phone i mean i have other id but nothing quotofficiallyquot recognised ,2.0
11000,me gustó un video de youtube  mental health mondays our stories part ,1.0
11001,looking forward to refreshbelfast tonight with helloatto for more visit httprefreshbelfastorg and check out httphelloattocom ,0.0
11002,helpful selfhelp books on depression i was just wondering if any of you have read any particularly helpful books on depression ive read a lot of mental health psychology selfhelp books over the years but nothing specifically about depression and im wondering if theres anything out there worth reading,3.0
11003,muffin fail eating bowls of baked crumbly peices dolloped in icing  about to vom then continue eating,2.0
11004,debbieskerten thats a lovely thing to say debbie thank you always glad to hear ive made you smile ,0.0
11005,is going to anvaya cove on thursday  gonna miss training though ,2.0
11006,i just hope one day to wake and to feel better right now i feel so lost and cant seem to find the motivation to do anything i am in university in my third year and its exam period i didnt go to three of my exams and probably wont go to the next one too if im starting to feel better will try to go the last one but thats what i said about all the others every morning i try to wake up at  but cant get out of bed until  and even then its only to go to the bathroom make my bed change out of my pajamas and then lay back in bed just cant seem to find the motivation to study at all or do anything else i hate my degree and i dont understand how i went through the past two years and this semester seemed so good from the start i did better in all of my courses and everything seemed so promising now i just want everything to end every day i end up thinking about how nice it would be to go to sleep and never wake up because i find no reason to live anymore i am feeling tired every day and see no point in my existence my parents love and support me i have friends that are worried about me and i guess that should be enough but it isnt i tend to write in my journal every time i need to organize my thoughts sort out my goals and see what i need to do to achieve them even though most of the times i never fulfill them it is a nice visualization and helps me understand what i want and gives me something to do for the next day today i tried to do that and i couldnt think of any goal i looked at the empty page and i couldnt even think about anything i cant even make myself study or work out everyone tells me that there is only one and a half year left but i think i started to hate my degree even more for the past few weeks and i also am afraid that i wont be able to find an internship for this summer as i am not as good or passionate as everyone in my field and everyone already had one over the past summers and then there is the problem of finding a job which i probably also wont find i also cant change my degree as it is not so easy in my country it is probably too late i cant seem to find any solutions to improving my life why cant the end of the world come sooner i am so tired of living i just want for all of this to be over,3.0
11007,twitter is a good place for me to talk about how sad i am por qué el boo no tiene uno hehe,1.0
11008,is making a blueberry cake and totally just burned my tongue tasting it ouch ,2.0
11009,djalfy awwwyay wellim glad hes better  awwwbabeu shud take some rest,0.0
11010,mrpapagiorgio at work unfortunately  where u at g,2.0
11011,quite possibly the best you tube clip i have seen in a long while wonders if barry could do this  ,0.0
11012,it doesnt matter you have to travel before september to take advantage of the sale ,2.0
11013,watched super  movies today had a mental breakdown iit jee  attempt   lakh rank boards  iit jee  attempt   percentileboards  depressed from  still cant get over this iit today  was playing on the tv i felt so embarrassed i had everything literally everything luxury no i dont belong to rich family dad paid coaching fees by selling land which was saved for our housethis pain is so much that it hurts physicallyevery feels like suffocatingidk its just endless agonysorry,3.0
11014,terrified ill never love someone who loves me back i do just fine professionally but my failure at keeping my chin up in my personal life is what has defined meim over  now and im terrified that i will never get to experience love i never have i never willfor years ive tried to stay optimistic and nearly two years ago i started seeing a therapist for my depression and anxiety it helped and i started to learn to manage my expectations but two years later i could not meet even the lowest of lower expectationsthis is of course a rolling stone it affects me and my work and my existing relationships with my friends and now we have a damned global pandemic to thank for everybody feeling even worsei dont even know how im gonna get through my day any more feels like im slipping into my old ugly habits and there is nobody who even gives a shit about what goes in my head,3.0
11015,is excited for the weekend and whats in store ,0.0
11016, poor babe  thats what chris said hes calling him was ostrich,2.0
11017,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
11018,bilalhassam its not him please read the bio ,0.0
11019,everyday feels so empty and unfulfilling it feels like everyday that passes is less fulfilling then the last i feel like such shit whenever im home because i want to actually do something but i cant bring myself to even clean up my floor ,3.0
11020,just hung up new artwork  hanging out with the fam our guests will be here soon ,0.0
11021,hey hey my followers ,0.0
11022,stfu ur so cute u get smooches for free,2.0
11023,i went back to my old therapist and now i regret it so basically i stopped going to this therapist not because she was bad or anything but it was just inconvenient seeing her since shes far away it was a struggle for my parents to take me to the appointments and taking the bus took so long so i just said forget it ill find someone closer i actually did find someone closer and she was amazing however she wasnt a therapist i could rely on and kept rescheduling i felt upset when i had to stop going because she really did help me think and cope once that happened i decided i wanted to go back to my previous therapist we set up an appointment and i showed up this was last week i was telling her everything thats happened over the few months and she didnt really give feedback she would be empathetic but nothing more i noticed she was like this before kinda since she is a relatively new therapist but i thought she wouldve been a little better this time around given the amount of time thats passed shes a cool person but when i vented to her i still felt unheard she doesnt challenge me to think or anything its just like plain its also more expensive than the better therapist id feel bad to stop going to her again but she really doesnt help,3.0
11024,december  miley cyrus amp metro stationnnn ,0.0
11025,being around friends that are in relationships depresses me im really curious if anyone feels the same way as i do i dont know why im like this but like i wish my friends would be single so i dont have to hear about their so ever i guess im really used to being alone and i feel very cynical about that it doesnt really matter if its a guy or a girl that becomes my friend its pretty the same effect whoever i meet i guess i dont like the reminder that im probably going to be forever alone but its just another thing that depresses me even more when they talk about their relationships not that i would wish for them to feel alone like i do but i just dont want to hear about it this post probably doesnt make much sense but its on my mind right now please tell me someone feels similarly,3.0
11026,rt  why are church services so early is there a  cant sleep because of crippling depression sermon because thats wh,2.0
11027,rt notofficialag im not even bouta stress it,1.0
11028,why does life keep punching you in the face hope you guys dont mind a vent session i went off my medication recently unexpectedly but had to because of finances i got fired from one job this week because my boss owed me money for my hours worked and because its a right to work state she just fired me im still working on getting this money and if not ill contact the labor department  my family two friends and boyfriend havent really made time for me and theyre my support system and today i went into my other job and was told that i dont take feedback well by my boss when i asked for an example i was told that others were just saying it and i told her that nobody had given me feedback recently at all and if people are going to assume i take feedback badly i cant help it she also told me that others were talking about how i didnt do my job well this is  not true because im experienced and competent in my position and know im consistently doing my job correctly and above and beyond i asked her if she had any examples and once again she couldnt give me any i asked her if shes seen any of this herself and she hadnt  this is the way the gossip mill at my store works and i told her next week shed be speaking to someone else that was just chosen to be gossiped about for no reason other than boredom she just took this as confirmation that i dont take feedback well but i wont accept feedback that is just simply untrue its frustrating because this store is honestly the only place i get any socialization with others and it kills me that these friend figures just gossip about methis is the first time in a year ive thought about killing myself to me i just feel like this kind of thing is going to continue no matter where i work or what i do life is always full of suffering and i dont wanna continue thanks for listening i dont mind advice if you want to give it ,3.0
11029,having an intermittant problem with wifi disconnecting is bad but today its been more off than on ,2.0
11030,before you all go to parties know as much as you can go with a group nd make sure its not unfamiliar to you  be saffeee pleez,0.0
11031,taragracee ,2.0
11032,rt alyciatyre my anxiety amp overthinking has been so bad lately cant sleep amp been waking up early no reason forgetting to eat cause im,1.0
11033,making split pea soup tonight  want to get started nownownow but then itll be cold for dinner ,2.0
11034,but she is sad because nobody ever responds to her clairlindsay s ,2.0
11035,how is it monday already i hate mondays ,2.0
11036,cant wait until june schools out amp im turning   ill finally be able to get a job,0.0
11037,brianalbarker follow your diet there should be no more eating with the family you gotta make your own food ,0.0
11038,totally overslept and missed church ,2.0
11039,astounded at the news that nadal hasnt made it into the  final of the french open while our very own andy murray has ,0.0
11040,shaelynette they havent gotten rid of my socially awkward butt yet youre fine ,0.0
11041,class cancelled cause of the swine ,0.0
11042,let all the negativ energy to have more space for the positiv  feelin good,0.0
11043,watching the other boleyn girl oh man i love this movie this has to be more than  times ,2.0
11044,inkatlinspahnts hahahha no im all caught up now ,0.0
11045, i accidentally dropped my sisters ipod down the stairs she cried  so i tried giving her mine but she wouldnt take it,2.0
11046,loooohooooooong friggin day ekh work tomorrow ,2.0
11047, hahaha because its tooo hot  the downside to soft tops ,0.0
11048,looves waking up to sunshine in a chocolate bar bed while being attacked by bear claws ,0.0
11049,thesourceress hanging my head in shame ,2.0
11050,derailed train at derby means getting flashcamp is going to be hard work  time to look at buses,2.0
11051,sched per poken abt  ppl have so far i dont yet figure it will be common  from now dropcard site doesnt tell much wo signup ,2.0
11052,rayning oh i miss you right now  i have my audition but all id rather be doing is wrestling with you in bedlol,2.0
11053,imsoapee hang in there i can be there in about three more hours ,0.0
11054,theres a girl crying on the train its times like these that i wish i had a tissue ,2.0
11055,piacayetano cutiepie volleyball naman si nads now shes really the mini you  try the mocha rhum shake ha i swear you wont regret it,0.0
11056,your cup of coffee and this post on my blog mental health resources gratitude worksheet httpstcofiyyggxscs,2.0
11057,gikastro its not my fault i write really emotional songs for the people i love ,0.0
11058,if anybody wants to talk about anything im here for you i used to be hella depressed and ive been on and off of meds on and off of drugs and on and off of life im on the come up though and want to spread the love please i want to help ,3.0
11059,  this is sooo what ima talkin bout  i could live n this booyahh but its  ,2.0
11060,cant believe my weekend ended so horribly ,2.0
11061,tripzy that is pretty ghetto lol ,0.0
11062,just want to talk i really cant feel anything anymorei feel like everything is just numb like if im sleeping in the dark always its just a feeling of detachment and loneliness that crushes me everyday and i cant even fight itive been taking my meds like the doctor said i should ive been trying to be more friendly and to appreciate everything i have but its just too hard when you feel so alone when you feel like no one in the world actually caresim so sorry to post this here its just that i dont have anyone that i can talk about this without feeling im annoying them i just think people would be better without meand sorry for any errors im not so good with english ,3.0
11063,carattop cool thanks some of them can be a bit over the top ,2.0
11064,almost  followers two more and then i will have a twiparty ,0.0
11065,i dont know what i want for myself ever since i was in highschool i have envied people who know what they want to do for the future because i do not know what i want im in my fourth year in college now and im graduating after this semester hopefully if i dont fail any of my classes i have a weird relationship with my degree because im interested in it but im not exactly that in love with it or that knowledgeable about it the little motivation that i have in finishing this is making my parents proudmy parents want me to study law after college and im interested a bit so i applied for the law school admission test but deep inside im not sure if thats what i really want i do not know what i want to do in the future so i told my parents that ill try studying law for one year or semester and see if i like it if i dont i quityou can say that i may have figured it out a bit but honestly i cannot imagine myself as a decent law school student as an anxious person who has mental health problems i cannot imagine the emotional toll it must have on me to face my professors im too sensitive and i fear reports recitations and so on i dont know i need advice im undecided for my future i dont know what i want,3.0
11066,im useless i dont live with my family  i live with a friends and his  ive been staying with them for  years now  working and going to school nearly full time and keeping up with hobbies and friends at the same time  even with this covid shit im thankfully still workingive noticed recently that ive fallen back into old habits and depression  i havent been keeping up with my day to day routines and its been pissing some people offi dont pay bills  i dont have to go out and buy things  i just have to help out around the place keep my job go to school and i can stay  im  going onto  in june and i know that my current situation is pretty good compared to a life i could be livingmy friends mom confronted me about my laziness  this wasnt the first time  i have no excuse for my actions i should be doing much better than i have been  i just feel ashamedshe said that im useless to her i need her but she doesnt need me around  it feels like every adult that ive trusted and cared for has said this to me before  and i cant help but find it true  what the fuck am i doing  i have it easy and i cant manage to do simple fucking chores for the people that took me ini must be fucking useless or im loosing my goddamn mind  ive noticed that ive been having spuring thoughts of anger and sadness that i direct at myself  i fucking hate myself  i fucking hate living  i just cant do it  it just feels like i dont want to try and do better anymore  i dont want to be better i dont have any more drive to do it  ive tried to kill myself twice now and i feel like the third times the charm  i dont want to a burden anymore and im tired of failing others  the least i can do is surrender and give up while im ahead so i dont keep embarrassing myselfi dont know why im typing this  maybe its a last ditch effort  ive never felt so determined with a understanding of death to seek it out  i used to be terrified of it but now i just dont care about the consequences or anything of that nature,3.0
11067, good luck with your interview ,0.0
11068,hairspray in hair  lighterampbong  new haircut ,2.0
11069,do you ever feel it coming for the last week since christmas eve ive been in somewhat of a haze where the world barely feels real i slept for the majority of the time during this as i usually do when it happens i met up with my friends for new year and over the last night i felt gradually like i was returning to normal and spent the most part of today feeling relatively upbeat thinking about the future tidying and sorting out the mess i left over the last week but then i just stopped i can feel that abyss there in my mind the bad thoughts slowly creeping in and fucking with me i just stopped and held my head in my hands i dont want to go into that haze again and lose even more time i was happy that it had gone away i just want to live and not feel like i dont even have enough energy to get out of beddo you ever feel it coming and have you ever been able to stop it im just hoping praying that when i wake up tomorrow my head will be clear and i can go about my day normally ,3.0
11070,what should i do alright so for a couple months now i have been feeling empty and just not as i was before i dont know if im depressed or just sad but i really dont know what to do i tried talking to my friend about it but after stating that i thought i was depressed i took it back immediately because i wasnt  sure about it and didnt want to go out of my way to say that im depressed because that is a very big statement and id feel very bad if it was false,3.0
11071,having another hard night ,2.0
11072,i pray for u taehyungdont be sadwe can put through this difficult time togetheri promise u i will accompany with u💜💜💜,1.0
11073,was suppose to go kick it with my girls tonightbut cant find a babysitter ,2.0
11074,sertraline zoloft and promethazine i was prescribed  sertraline yesterday im getting immense waves of nausea is it safe to take promethazine to combat this i dont want to potentially harm myself or take anything away from the sertraline i cant seem to find much info online,3.0
11075,psychocow can i sign up for some of that badminton ,0.0
11076,im full of pudding and good intentions  this is shaping up to be a good night ,0.0
11077,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
11078,watching quotenter the dragonquot with friends  i  this movie,0.0
11079,had to pass on spin class todaystill sick  ,2.0
11080,greatyungc thats not fair  calls me a freak but i dont do anything ,2.0
11081,kisluvkis maya said she thought of would be comfy for him the drawer was a big square one and almost empty she felt bad and cried  ,2.0
11082, ill let you know if that happens on monday morning ,0.0
11083,neopepper cuz hes just that amazing  haha i really have no clue ,0.0
11084,wilks to make it worthwhile to them and there client base  as i know i deliver superb local aussie traffic,0.0
11085,mmm sushi gen always has and prepares the best ankimo  never stingy on the ponzu ,0.0
11086,ok i have to get to bed moving tomorrow and the next day ,2.0
11087,taking nap but some nonsense call wake me up from sleep amp running nose makes me difficult to breathe properly ,2.0
11088,dcockage i just pooped and now im back to studying ,2.0
11089,httpbitlyvasgj  after the cameras went offi went back in that room with him  jk,0.0
11090,my farmtown girls name is myfanwy and my farm is torchwood estate ,0.0
11091,uncletrav  ill have to run to the storebe right there  will hershey bars walmonds work  ,0.0
11092,rachelhart would be awesome but the tickets are twice as much  you fly into frankfurt,2.0
11093,i hate myself i really dont know where to post this but i hope somebody here could maybe relate in some way  f ive been living my life with overwhelming expectations and a profound hatred for myself my insecurities plague my life every little mistake will throw me into a depression about my abilities and intellegence i always feel clumsy unintelligent slow socially inept and hopeless they all stem from my up bringing its causing me great distress especially when i think about my childhood and teen years tldras i child i was brought up in a russian speaking home i was already disadvantaged in a way but was slowly able to adapt to the english language for school this was thanks to esl sessionsin school i was very confused about the whole idea of communication and proper social behavior in first grade i scratched and bit my class mates believing is was socially acceptable eventually i learned it wasnt normal and began to regress myself from socializing from what i heard from my parents i never sat still in class and would always be somewhere else i never really was separated from the class but another class teacher would occasionally pop in and take the slow kids i was always picked seperet from esl thinking back this memory shouldnt really cause any one distress but it was pretty upsetting for me i was always weirdly upset about being plucked out from the smarter kids in highschool i did relatively well in the normal courses but i was still rather self conscious about intelligencei never really adjusted to any social circles i had some variants of acquaintances but they werent really my friends socializing has always been difficult especially with all the current expectations im always worried about my body language and tone theres nothing ever authentic about me when im out trying to socialize when ever i try to place myself in social situations but i always seem to fall short it makes me feel inadequate everyone can do this simple activity and yet i fail miserably at it speaking is also something that is somewhat difficult for me articulating word and phrases in meaningful ways proves to be strenuous for me for example i will be minding my own business at work and some random person will come to me for a question almost always i stumble on my speech or cant find the correct word to use its really embarrassing and causes me alot of distress when i make a mistake anxiety generally makes it worse i am weirdly clumsy and uncoordinated when it comes to sports as a kid i was a pretty good runner but i would always get picked last for sports almost always it was extremely disheartening i feel like now that im older i should be over all of these grade school issues but i keep holding on to them i use them as an explanation sometimes im stupid and i always have been remember what that one teacher said im clumsy thats why youre terrible at every sport im petrified of getting a new job it requires someone who is competent and im not sure i could ever live up to everyone standards i feel ive done well enough in college but when it comes to new environments failure terrifies me i always have this fear nagging in the back of my head when something is expected of me i fear ill fail and disappoint my bossesi mainly blame my inadequate intellegence for this even though i never have taken an iq test i always felt i was somewhat dull and inattentive im afraid that if i do take an iq test it will just confirm all of these issues and i wouldnt be able to complete my career goals the thought of having low intellegnece would absolutely shatter any aspirations i worked so hard to build i want to be a neuropsychologist a job that requires interpersonal and communication skills i worry that the real world will be too much for me to handle and eventually i will break down into a mess of my own failures im ashamed of myself and the image of myself that i project onto others i want to be a better version of myself but its impossible when i have all these negative memories and thoughts i want to socialize and be apart of the picture but i feel like my presence is such a nuisance im sorry if this felt like unorganized garbage,3.0
11094,says sepi sepi weekend ini sepi aku benci  ,2.0
11095,brontesaurus sadly yes ,2.0
11096,university is so shit  month in and bored out my mind trying to change course but probs going to drop out,3.0
11097,sleepy the things i would do to be under my covers ,2.0
11098,sitting here in the boat on the river without gas stranded ,2.0
11099,radissons back on    only because the hilton is completely booked out happy days  still hate business trips though ,2.0
11100,my brother is a bum one of my many reasons to why i feel depressed is because of my brother when i was young my parents thought nothing would become out of me because i would lie my way out of staying at home and playing video games obviously with time it stopped and i started finding interest in going to school and becoming something and i graduated high school with marginally good grade right now im working part time and studying now what has my brother to do with this well they thought he would become something big but they were so wrong they have a son who is about to turn  years old and that lies his way out of staying at home instead of going to work and this has been happening for years and my parents are sadly swallowing it and not doing anything about it they just get pissed when i get mad because of it he is fucking living off my dad and mom i just graduated and have earned more money than what he has ever done i want him to have good functioning life but he keeps ruining everything not only for him but for everyone i hate to say this but im slowly getting tired of him and i want to move just for this reason however my parents doesnt let me i have no reason for it school is close to me and so is work i can see sadness in my parents eyes why cant my brother see itsorry for this big rant im just so sad and also sad about the hatred i feel towards my own brother but i feel so sorry for my parents ,3.0
11101,forgot that josh groban was a sexy beast lol mtv movie awards tonight woot ,0.0
11102, i knoow  its so sad im gonna miss talking to her on twitter but her email is still on so we can still talk  her through that,2.0
11103,ahmier yeeeeep rahhburt about to get a slushie from quicktrip and head home to play  ,0.0
11104,tired of feeling this way not suicidal but not happy just there ,3.0
11105,disneyland with the family today  currently getting ready,0.0
11106,happy mothers day to all the mummies  oxoxo,0.0
11107, sociablextina me too im watching it now ,0.0
11108,wants my phone backkk ,2.0
11109,shari  ,0.0
11110,rt ianaiexander me after my second depression nap of the day httpstcojygigeghyg,2.0
11111,djeaseback the same amp weird dreams that are coming realaarghmy exscorpio boy buried his lil girl  last week which was an awful day ,2.0
11112,alexalltimelow  im excited to see you hopefully  times this summer you know what  show im talking about coughchicagocough,0.0
11113,where is she ,2.0
11114,iantor ,2.0
11115,ate too many jubes ,2.0
11116,family member is dead but i dont feel anything a recent family member of mine just died the person was young and had always been one of my favorite peoplewhen i found out i pretended to be surprised but i didnt feel any different inside is this depression or something else,3.0
11117,listening to mitchel musso  demi concert  june ,0.0
11118,oh this is very sad senator claire has been a wonderful senator for queensland a real quiet achiever one of the ,0.0
11119,no lets not talk about the football  bastard lol im starving now,2.0
11120,hemsthebeast nothing  work  lol you know ur sisters birthday was yesterday,2.0
11121,rt mentalhealthph there was a whisper in my head that told me just hold on one more day and i thank god i did  jostine bulan min,0.0
11122,mishelleorama ohhhhhhhhhhh le no thats so sad stupid effn plane tickets  im so sad,2.0
11123,ive grown accustomed to my pain my heartache and my sadness that the idea of happiness intimidates me i sound mad but its true pain is real it doesnt disappoint its there for you and doesnt leave it wraps you in a quiet comforting shell happiness is temporary and fleeting and can often be constructed out of an illusion ive made depression my friend it sound sad and pathetic but its all i have ,3.0
11124,i know im not alone but i feel alone ive got people that care about me and i know i do i feel as though ive lost the ability to connect with anyone ive been kicked down and fucked over by friends and family i trusted so now i think ive subconsciously just lost the ability to connect with or trust anyone i hangout with friends and go on dates which help distract me for the time being but when i get home i feel lost and alone again i hate attention and i hate pity so i tell nobody about what goes on in my head i dont want people to sympathize with me because its never worked and never will i just want the day that i finally feel whole again to come ,3.0
11125,drewcommins how often do you plug your kindle in my  has horrid battery life ,2.0
11126,it is so hard not being who i want to be i cry every day over being an ugly sad girl instead of a true goddess that i want to be i want to be beautiful and rich and relevant and powerful but i am a nobody just a sad pathetic piece of failed meat that never lived up to goddesses expectation and will always remain mortal clump of cells            i need to be brutally murdered like now for my crimes ,3.0
11127,i wish i could go and see duffy when she comes to mamaia romania ,2.0
11128,my dad is going to montreal quebec today until thursday for a buisiness trip gonna miss him a lot ,2.0
11129,i want to escape from this whole thing  ive been depressed for the last few months it was triggered by a person i was seeing we never got along but i feared the feeling of losing someone and i tried to keep it going when it was clearly not going so well i craved for love i wanted someone in my life and i desperately tried to hold on to it everyday i became more and more stressed out and i felt like the whole thing wasnt working because of me because i lack in value i already had an extremely low self esteem and the whole situation made it worse it stressed me out to the extent that i wasnt able to concentrate on my school work my grades started to drop and i started feeling even more worthless i felt like i was unworthy along with that no one seemed to enjoy being around me i started questioning whether i was the misfit the wrong one out in the worldthis continued for months i was getting even more anxious as i started to lose concentration i was just so anxious at the fact that i slipped i couldnt concentrate on anything when i tried to start writing an essay i got anxious i wasnt able to start my mind couldnt be at peace i was constantly worrying about my future i was constantly doubting myself and by the end of the day i wasnt able to get anything done even now i am struggling to write this post as it has become very hard for me to concentrate on anything theres no one i can talk to ive tried talking to my parents but they scolded me instead of comforting me and i would get even more stressed i dont have friends as i just moved to a new environment even the guy i was seeing was never a friend to me he only pretended to care about me when he really didnt i feel very isolated and left alone in this world i feel so terribly scared about my future i dont see one i am scared and i cant for once stop being anxious every morning i couldnt escape the overwhelming thought of wanting to end life wanting to reset because everything is messed up and i dont have the courage to make things right again i just want to end my life right now i hate feeling this way but i cant help it i really want to get up and start running again but i cant i want to die i want to escape i hate myself im so scared of the future i hate everything i cant stop feeling resentment toward the entire world i have to go to school tomorrow but i wont ,3.0
11130, hey  thanks for following me   i dont know sashas twitter but im sure if you type her name in youll find her,0.0
11131,hailey this doesnt have to do with depression but about a year ago i had a friend and she didnt have the best home life her dad and uncle would beat her and dispite me and a couple other friends going to social services about it they wrote it off as her being over dramatic this is a girl who has been hospitalized for what they did to her and ss did nothing for her and since the dad felt threatened he made the whole family move out of state and i havent talked to her since even after a year everythings fresh in my head she doesnt have a phone and isnt allowed to go to public schools according to her dad so shes off the grid and completely alone im worried about her and i really hope shes ok,3.0
11132,rt siidnayyy why the fuck does my anxiety think its okay to ruin my fucking day,1.0
11133,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
11134,im really sad 😓😓 loss its always really hard and i hope he and his family are doing fine while going through it,1.0
11135,toddjg yeah people are a pain  im going back to that old project of mine anyway jailbreak,0.0
11136,just landed july    the bitter end ,0.0
11137,new dane cook special tonight at ten ,0.0
11138,just got outta the pool fo ,0.0
11139, of the bestfollow ironsgame  supplements for depression ,0.0
11140,theonlyguru lol good for you a good day all around me thinks ,0.0
11141,o this song made me sad,2.0
11142,themarxman dont be jealous there only just a handful or as i like to say a couple of bee stings ,0.0
11143,i just need to write somewhere where i might be heard ive tried journaling but it sort of just feels pointless because i know im not writing to anyone writing here is a little bit better because maybe this post will get a few views who knows im just so lonely ive been feeling incredible anhedonia ive had no energy but i also dont want to go to bed at night because i feel so dissatisfied i feel like the whole day has been worth nothing and about  hours ago i was feeling like this had been a great day one of the best in a while i want to cry i feel tremendous sadness but the tears just arent there and it feels like it would take so much energy to cry energy i just dont have i know i dont want to die i know ill go to bed and wake up and feel a bit better but right now i just wish it would end ive just been depressed for so long ive been getting treated for the past year with medication and therapy and things got better for a while but in the past month it feels like all the improvement has been undone maybe its because i stopped seeing my therapist after winter break so its been a month why did i stop i guess i just felt like i didnt need it anymore well more like i wanted to not need it anymore i wanted to be done to be free of it but i guess i jumped the gunsometimes i wonder if ill just be like this forever basically ever since puberty ive just been a sort of melancholy person i have terrible social anxiety i feel like im really unlikeable and really negative i have a few close friends and they mean the world to me but we dont live in the same place and i rarely get to see them im not terribly close to my parents or my brother i know they love me and support me but i feel like they just wouldnt understand my parents that is with regards to my brother i just dont want him to worry he doesnt know whats going on with my mental health two of his close friends have killed themselves in the past year i dont want him to worry that i might be nextthere are obviously lots of contributing factors but i feel like a huge one is my chronic neck pain i will go for hours some days just lying there unable to get up and do anything because i am just consumed by the pain and its not even a particularly sharp pain it just sort of distracts me and drains me completely anyways at this point im just rambling im actually getting really tired so maybe ill sleep i hope i can just close my eyes and drift away tomorrow will be better tomorrow will be better tomorrow,3.0
11144, miserable day today dont ask story might not be finished ,2.0
11145,just noticed ive got a fair few followers im not following back if you want me to follow you send me an  and ill get right on it ,0.0
11146,why is it i voluntarily chose to live in the allergy capitol of the world  stupid mold ,2.0
11147,meep have to study now ,2.0
11148,is watching casino royale tv edition ,0.0
11149,what to do first time postermy lifes been good until  grade its all gone downhill especially  grade im in  grade now should be  but had to be held back since i failed too much and im just thinking of quitting school and dying if anyone wants to talk please id love that im  and my life just feels fucked right now with so many academic and personal problems im in the us so no hope of college for me ig not with my shit transcript even though i got a  on the act while hardly trying typical depressed asian am i right haha ive already attempted suicide and left home many times i really need some help or just need to be euthanized any tips for either one thank you ,3.0
11150, blushin beware what u wish for lol how n where u been ,2.0
11151,andrearosen dont thank methank your parents ,0.0
11152,my  has broken ,2.0
11153,what sad girl song should i listen to tonight ,2.0
11154, omg i wish i could live in some of those places when will you do a summit in argentina ,2.0
11155,eddiethegun i dread to think what youve had to do for the video shoot to be black and blue  sounds like a lot of fun though ,0.0
11156,omg miley why would you do that ,2.0
11157,vijaytelevision very sad to say this on bigg boss show that one celebrity and artist have been punished like this ,0.0
11158,its this damn room that gives me a headache ,2.0
11159,  i miss u lifetime fitness ,2.0
11160,boredum kicks in too easy ,2.0
11161,sitting in work eating weetabix ,0.0
11162,im saucy w nothing to do  carmelamarie y did we separate again lol,2.0
11163,such a great day and now got to spoil it by going to work ,2.0
11164,aww that person got suspended so i cant watch anymore pampd episodes ,2.0
11165,  cheers  those are some of my girl friends,0.0
11166,needs a good restraunt suggestion for dinner for just me and my husband anyb suggestions would me appreciated ,0.0
11167,rt superteamkid from dealing with lupus depression and everything in between i didnt think id make it to  let alone have  degrees,1.0
11168,i find it problematic for fabacademic to say the students are equally responsible for prof bonganimayosi s depr ,1.0
11169,the worst kind of being comfortable is when youre used to feeling depressed and unmotivated it just leaves you all sluggish and clinging to your bed as your safe haven its just your place and nobody has to know how your feeling and has no idea if you dont fess up youre just so used to feeling like everything is pointless and boring thats just how life is right now,3.0
11170,oh the joy of not knowing whats coming next ,0.0
11171,i cant run anywhere im   and ive been suffering from depression as long as i can remember around  grade the other day my mom barged into my room and demanded i do my hw immediately i was reading some old stuff i wrote i dream to be a writer and i didnt want her to see it so i shoved it under some stuff i told my mom my hw was downstairs and i couldnt do it if she stayed there she sat on my chair waiting for me to do stuff i covered myself with my blanket intending to wait her outi tried to bargain with her but she refusedabout an hour after she first came in i heard the sound her phone made when it was unlocked  this is unjust i thought shes not wasteing her time so i pulled out my kindle and began to reasearch how to help hand cramps when you write too muchten minutes after that i heard her footsteps she yanked my blanket off causing me and my kindle to tumble to the floor go do your homework she growledi walked to the next nearest bedroom and sat down on the bed only if you get out of my roommaybe youll feel differently after a timeouther version of time out is to toss me out in the cold for the same amount of minutes as my age and it was cold out very  she tried to drag me down the stairs but i fought hereventually i got out of it and she threw my backpack away so i couldnt do my homework anywaysthe next day i skipped school and called my dad who is divorced and lived nearby he came to get me a few weeks after this incident he had to go on a business tripi had to stay at my moms housei couldnt move out of bed and do my homework i got a headache when i stood up too long my grade plummeted two letters and i got less than  hours of sleep a daymy memory didnt work i felt my iq drop i broke my resolution to write everydaythe stay at my moms house was two weeks my father had gotten sick after the tripand depression started killing me alive it was just there before stalking me but now it was punching me hardive been trying to get my father to t ransfer schools to his place after the school at my moms house i have to go to my moms house until he can get me  hours later because of his job but theres a lot of problemsdue to the divorce my mom had  custody my father has child support payments that need to be adjusted with the court and he wanted a good education for me because the schools near his house wasnt good and the one i was going to was the best in the statewhat can i do to get out of this mess,3.0
11172, have to work sat night  ,2.0
11173,feel like a fraud when having a good day today was my first good day in a while im not happy but im not sad and angry either i was recently hospitalized and it seems like since i was released ive been on a slippery slope it just scares me to have a day like this because i feel like im a fraud with my mental illness and that people around me will see me not upset for once and will think everything is fine when it isnt  anyone else relate,3.0
11174,soulfulgoddess i know right  sighs dreamily im so dorky x,0.0
11175,good monday everyone will be diligently working on special order acu military family gingerkins for gingerbabies store  create create ,0.0
11176,i cant go  ,2.0
11177,need to go to bed its late and tired eyes are dry and my headache is back  im tired of this my migraine pills arent working,2.0
11178,what a joke my life has turned into nothing but a comedic spectacle of drinking and posting on social media worst of all is i dont care to change it i just await the end of the line and hope death brings the peace i deserve because this life of mine will give me nothing but sorrow ,3.0
11179,gogcom hmm  nancy drew or sherlock holmes ,0.0
11180,woop going to church then to see tom goss tonight ,0.0
11181,pce out everyone                                 much  kay ,0.0
11182,just got home from the pool had a blast i love my jamal ,0.0
11183,oreoking oh ok you convinced me to stay ,0.0
11184,my boyfriend    is not having a good day poor hcn ,2.0
11185, ive rediscovered dailyboothyaaaay ,0.0
11186,shelbilavender fine be like that  how do you build people can you build me,2.0
11187,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
11188,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,2.0
11189,eehoepfl and yes i am feeling better thanks luv ,0.0
11190,rt partsunknowncnn cnn mourns the loss of anthony bourdain if you or someone you know needs help please call the national suicide preve,0.0
11191,mileycyrus miley i love you but please lower your uk tour prices ,2.0
11192,badsneaker i am just learning how to use twitter  missed all your messages  will figure it out soon  home tomorrow  hope to see you ,0.0
11193,my dad is constantly yelling at me what do i do  i am  years old i can relate to you i keep getting called worthless sometimes i am made to feel that i am useless add to this i have anxiety problems i feel that our situations are a paradox one day your father feels caring another day he yells at you for everything i believe that everything is rooted in one single thing fearfear of what fear of losing control each one of us has some kind of innate fear why is it so maybe due to certain circumstances in life nobody not even the person who has that fear recognizes that sometime for me ever since i have been a kid i have been scolded and yelled at by my mom dad grandad and people who i could not avoid i was initially weak at studies my dad gave me a tight slap on my face when i was in  grade then i worked myself to a burnout and studied like hell out of fear nothing else now i have come pretty far as long as my academics are concerned but the same fear rules i normally try to control my fear when my dad yells out by blanking out simple he tells some nasty words i let it go i dont respond but he gets to know what i am thinking when i dont respond i felt this form of response is more effective than trying to argue i do not know about you but i neither hate my dad nor do i love him i believe that i owe him for bringing me up as far as my physical health is concerned and this mental shambles that i am in right now is also due to his verbally abusive characterthe problem is that he is a pretty big hypocrite let us say that he discourages you from doing something one day but he encourages and yells at you to do the same thing some days later he believes that he is the epitome of care compassion character he is just nothing but another self centered egoist nothing more he wanted me to study so that he could brag about it nothing more he wants me to get into a good college so that he can rub it on his relatives nothing more he has never asked me whether i have a better opinion he tells me that i can make a choice by that he just means that i should make a choice and later he points out flaws in my choice and keeps repeating it every day my opinions which were so important yesterday becomes rubbish once i make one wrong move he is there to stand by as long as i am successful if i make one slight misjudgement he does not stand by me he castrates me literallywhy am i so overly critical of him i wondered that sometime ago i considered peoples opinion that fathers only want the best for their children i figured that there was a flaw here they want the best but more importantly can they stand along with their children to make the best in my case it was no he provided me resources and monetary support but i never got any emotional support for sure as a consequence i believe that it is in my best interest to not get into confrontational situations avoid speaking as far as possible and become self sufficient to help myself i know that i cannot be anywhere close to where i want to be if i indulge in such meaningless fights four years more i can start earning start a fresh life with no interferencei would also like to add that this environment is what made me an introvert nobody would listen to me in my family so i do not care to talk i rest my case here,3.0
11194,why even try i just feel like giving up i try and try to better myself get the help i need and nothing works i still feel like shit im so useless i always tell myself oh tomorrow im gonna get my shit together and get a second job next day comes around and i just sit on my ass all day doing nothing even when i do something i feel like im still stuck like any step forward doesnt really matter and whatever i do is worthless i wish i could just disappear sorry for the random rant i just really dont know wtf to do,3.0
11195,another rest day  ,0.0
11196,rt louiggiedemuro depression is so prevalent these days so we need to watch how we handle other people be kind make sure your interact,1.0
11197,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
11198,i really hate how i can right pretty good lyrics yet i cant sing  oh amp twitter stop failing or ill bitch slap you out of the milky way,2.0
11199,watching video from youtube ,0.0
11200,she said yes      the summer set here i come ,0.0
11201,hei im doing nothing bored ,2.0
11202,went shopping with my sisterinlaw then work where one of the residents passed away on my floor   boo,2.0
11203,just had a piece of chicken and fruit for lunch being healthy can be hrd work ,0.0
11204,aarrrggghhhh my hair is soo tight i almost feel like my scalp is bleeding ,2.0
11205,me quotcan you let me know when we get to aveburyquot bus driver quotyou cant miss it theres a big pub and a load of old stonesquot ,0.0
11206,its dead right now in the cabbie world  i want some fast cash its my money and i want it now,2.0
11207,i wish lanie did come down here ,2.0
11208,fun day fun night ,0.0
11209,what routines have you set up for yourself that actually helped well basically the title what i found that helped me a bit was to buy some nice bathroomgrooming items like nice smelling shampoo conditioner body wash face wash facial moisturiser hand cream etc showers definitely became more attractive,3.0
11210,my last words i simply just cant handle society the way that it is where everyone has to follow each other like sheep in this  dim dark world i cant stand that people think better of themselves than other souls and put other people down as if they are animals either by ignoring them instead of offering them a helping hand  because they are seen to be as a class lower than them  we are all simply the same going through our lifes and all have struggles think not only of your selfs but think of others and help othersfor this is what we need in our society to join together and not to disband through so called social technologypeople need there likes as hits of dopamine keeping them hooked and causing them to be addictedthus addiction is ill gain them popularity and they will soon start to see people as a power class than them there will never be change to this regime and simply cant stand it the world will be a better place hundreds of years after the next world war,3.0
11211,my week at the office is finally over ice cold beer waiting thanks for all the  followfriday  fun back later folks ,0.0
11212,joannejoym mt everest are u kidding thats some serious plan im moving today amp thats all i have plan for the day ,0.0
11213,night  yawn ,0.0
11214,regigigas i wish you still did your raves on land i liked going to them ,2.0
11215,dhughesy i just care if they are free range or not turns out they def are not  turns me off kfc big time tempted sometimes though,2.0
11216,im failing everything and i cant make it stop im failing at my dead end job failing my partner failing myself i want to give upive felt like this for a long time im in this cycle that wont quit and i want out i want out of the constant doubting and self pity and cant muster up the courage or know how to get the fuck out one way or anotherending it all seems so appealing but it also feels like a cowards way out and will break my mother but if im honest coward would be the best word to describe me so far heres whythe thing ive been most consistent with was backing out at the first obstacle and just accepting defeat its such a habit at this point  i cant finish anythingive accepted the dead end job im in because just the thought of job hunting interviews and rejections just make me feel physically ill thats just the tip of my issues but its a big one there are many more other more pressing as well and whenever i think of them i just get so overwhelmed and i shut down i cant deal with anything i feel like such a coward it started as a self defense mechanism  i give up because im afraid that if i really try my hardest at something ill still fail i still wont be good enough the truth is i dont think im good enough ive been told that as a kid all the time but i cant seem to outgrow itnow it just got to the point where i cant fix whats broken and im scared af to try and chance because im scared ill fail miserably and ill lose what little i haveim not in control of my life anymore im in what feels like quick sand every time i want to get out i get dragged back in i just wanted it all to end i want out of this nightmare that is my life,3.0
11217,rt pennyyrealproud yeah im a likkle sad but ya cant call me broke  ,2.0
11218,i dont want him to have pain hes the bigest angel im fuckin crying he really dont deserve to have this bad moments im just so sad,1.0
11219,cough sore throat flu name it ive got da whole package ,2.0
11220,jonhickman haha groovy mememocking memes are the best ,0.0
11221,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
11222,what are some places you guys like to visit that make you feel at peace aside from home are there any places you like to visit so you can be alone or just make you feel better even in the slightest i try to visit areas that at one point in my life ive experienced happiness regardless if those things that made me happy arent in my life anymore some may say its counterintuitive since they can bring up memories only to make you feel worse for missing certain things but i believe if you dont cherish those memoriesmomentsplaces then you lose an important aspect of yourselfi try to visit parks the community college i went to small shopping areas bookstores museums etc but ive been wanting to expand and find new areas to explore itd be awesome if anyone is from the dallasdenton area and could point me to new locations since thats where i grew up and currently am at respectively if not then id like to hear your thoughts on where you all like to go  and possibly do to feel at easethank you for reading this and i hope we all find the happiness that we deserve,3.0
11223,is bored of the day already  and its not even  oclock,2.0
11224,been hurting most of the day but dr barnes has takin care of me  iloveyoubabi xox  craving tattoos  ,0.0
11225,techninjoe cause im a weaklinglolfor real tho im a premeborn  months early so i got like bad heart bad sight bad back umm yea ,2.0
11226,rt authojana a  novel steeped in horror danger and suspense full of thoroughly researched detail and populated with fascinating c,1.0
11227,jonasbrothers hi guys im soo sorryy  i lost ur live chat again i feel that i let u down love u guys come  venezuela,2.0
11228,rt  knowing his grandpa died is so sad for me i cant imagine how lonely he is but i hope hes just fine  sweetie please s,0.0
11229,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
11230,tried restarting my phone  but instead of turning off  the screen turned white and it wont turn offnooooo ,2.0
11231,sooo homesicki just want to be home in van right now ,2.0
11232,youssefsarhan i forget what typeface i started with but i modified pretty heavily not much help—sorry ,2.0
11233,  cool ty,0.0
11234,wish i was  bww w misscalderon amp some of the crew but mamas strapped   til  ,2.0
11235,deebaby is taking me to watch some mma fights today ,0.0
11236,not feeling great this morning massive head cold need to get it cleared as have some serious movers amp shakers to impress this afternoon ,2.0
11237,on my way to see up  with orange nails and my new dar brown ray bans,0.0
11238,feeling v blah   altho my new neighbours did leave a lovely bottle of white on our stairs i was tempted to take it til i read card,2.0
11239,intrusive thoughts im on  desvenlafaxine and  mirtazapine ive been on des for about  weeks and mirt for about  months i got switched to it from zoloft back in november when i was admitted to a psych ward for suicidal ideation im confessing to the fact that i havent been taking it for over a week because i havent had the money to go buy a new script im afraid of seeing the pharmacist and asking for a sub and he finding out that i probably havent been taking it for over week and im scared ive always had this thing of disappointing people so when it comes to stuff like this i just avoidavoidavoid in the past ive even gone as far as switching doctors pharmacies and the like to avoid the confrontation and difficult conversation of feeling like a total idiot because of this intrusive thoughts are back with a vengeance every time i look at my ceiling fan i see a flashing image of hanging myself it sometimes gets so intense that i have the sensations one might feel when undergoing that act my throat tightens up and my extremities go numb ive had images of stabbing myself in the throat and just slashing at my skin with a kitchen knife im conscious of the fact that they are intrusive thoughts and nothing more but it doesnt change how disturbing and debilitating they are i dont want to kill myself i want to live a happy and fulfilling life with my children and my boyfriend i need to swallow what issues i have and just go ask my pharmacist to shout me a few pills until payday ive done it before so im sure hell do it for me but god damn these visual thoughts are bad ,3.0
11240,just bought  new cds of sleep music i sure hope it helps  maybe i cant sleep because i miss steveakins a lot ,2.0
11241,leaving on a jet plane ,2.0
11242,cant be more excited missing everyone ,2.0
11243,i am not sure how to twitter but im still on here ,0.0
11244,roshorner a sponsored climb does it have a death zone ,0.0
11245,officialjman  youre awesomee in case you have never been told that before lol,0.0
11246,mr expat spent an hour checking work email from the computer and now i feel as if i missed all the tweet action ,2.0
11247,im done with everyone being so negative here i understand you are depressed i understand your life sucks but lets try and do something about it lets share some tips on overcoming your depressioni personally have started mediating focusing on my career and myself and not depending on others for my happinessive also starting working out and began feeling confident in who i am what are you doing  comment below,3.0
11248,zapf they just like to talk that way  it makes em feel better  ,0.0
11249,played table football last night on a table i scored for � from a recycling center  go to the tip this weekend and grab some bargains ,0.0
11250,listening to her stolen music just loved it cause its free ,0.0
11251,i am weirdly scared but also relieved at how more and more realistic my prospects of suicide are i have had suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember although because of my friends and family i have always thought id rather something happen to me than me taking my own life recently though i found a new peace in finding ways i could realistically kill myself  i literally spend hours thinking of ways to do it and check whether they are feasible i am still not in a place to act on them i would hate for my family or the people i love to feel guilty or anything of the sort at me committing suicide id still much rather be killed by some external thing but this newfound peace is there and i have no one to talk to about it not because i dont have people who love me but because i dont think i can talk to anyone and be taken seriouslynot hurt them i wish someone would notice my destructive behaviour and just talk to me so i could finally have some sort of release that isnt as morbid as planning my own death in a more and more realistic way ,3.0
11252,so so so tired but i have to study ,2.0
11253,abluemidnight awwww thats not fun  hahabut i just woke up too o ,2.0
11254,hubbys off work  so he surprised me amp pop up at my office amp brought me an ice cream amp had lunch w me such a sweetheart ,0.0
11255,davemorin  you amp cinevegas should talk he had the same problem earlier but i dont think he had success with the apple genius ,2.0
11256,i started a new job this week i say its a new job and technically it isi am the new helpdesk support for an msp ive been working these kinds of jobs for close to  years now and i am donei hate everything about it the expectations the attitudes the cultureevery fucking company will be like but were different which is bullshit theyre all the sameheres our beer fridgeheres our foosball tableheres the desk youll be chained to forever nowits so frustrating why cant people just be fucking normal i ask a lady for her printer model and manufactuer which should be right in the front of the fucking printer and she brings me this long string of numbers that i dont even know where she pulled it fromoh i dont know that much about computersbitch were coming up on  years of the modern computer thats not a fucking excuseid quit this job tomorrow if it wasnt for the fact that id be homeless so quickon top of that my teeth hurt so i gotta stick it out at this stupid fucking job for  months so i can get access to the stupid fucking health benefits even then i may or may not be able to afford a teeth check upi hate it all rn i hate my job i hate the town i live in i hate the cold i havent felt any proper warmth since i moved here  years agoim stuck here cos my fucking shithead brother fucked me over when i first moves here im terrified that the news from the dentist will be as bad as possibleif it is im not dealing with this last thing i want is to be miserable and toothless if its the worst im taking a dive off a bridgei cant fucking do this anymore i just want to fall apart for a fee days but i cant even do that because if i do ill be fucked so very fuckedi give up the world fucking won,3.0
11257,kaitlinsharpe girl you crazy thats their song they werent popular until he covered it and sony used it for a bravia commercial ,0.0
11258,rt sfsincere slowly dying of depression,2.0
11259,helentaustin ooh i missed your tweet back  love the goo goo dolls would love become as  dance  wedding ,0.0
11260,is anyone still up on twitter fell asleep n woke bak up for no reason ,2.0
11261,geeesh what a chatter box ,0.0
11262, i can do a better youtube banner for you ,0.0
11263,sos should i join lit soc or not really have no idea and i dont want to regret ,2.0
11264,miamiherald charlesmblow grimmfred rip up mental health benefits amp make big  at the same time pieces of shit,0.0
11265,morrningg  just slept for  hours and now i have a headache d,0.0
11266,sephystryx well my friends camera had a trouble with his memory card so all i can do is just to say im sorry ,2.0
11267,plan for tonight watching band of brothers with boyfriend as today is a special day probably only favourite eps damian lewis is cute ,0.0
11268,what a thunderstorm hope moms peacock eggs survive ,2.0
11269,beer is mankinds greatest invention sure the wheel is up there but the wheel doesnt go as well with bbq ,0.0
11270,re sad xdddddddddddddddddddddddd,2.0
11271,i finally got twitterberry back on my phone ,0.0
11272,unfortunately i didnt get a range level only got about  xp  ahh well its still something,2.0
11273,no boyz n bullzrain instead    need to find a cowboy some other way i spose,2.0
11274,listening to quotsave youquot by kelly as a lady sits in her car crying so sad  check out the song and youll know why its sad,2.0
11275,played  and a half hole  then got rain like hell ,2.0
11276,i miss merliz already massiel cried im sad  on the way to the airport,2.0
11277,still managed to get hurt even without having any hopes or expectations i fought my depression for years and came to the conclusion that it was just easier to survive until death without wishing for anything now i try to do as little as possible to maintain my mental heatlh good enough so i am able to wake up and go to work every day i just want to be able to sustain myself so no one has to be responsible for my lifeless mind and body it works alright i have not had any hopes for my personal life for months years yet i managed to get hurt again it brought me back to a pretty bad depression stage and i wasnt ready for iti trusted someone and allowed myself to believe i deserved and could have something i wasnt even looking for how stupid right i know ill get better at some point and go back to my meaningless life i just feel so down right now,3.0
11278,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
11279,slipping back into old habits so recentely ive began working full time again which is good its better than me sitting at the house all day feeling sorry for myself but with the income ive started drinking again which i know is not good for my mindset i was doing so good and was feeling real proud of myself for not drinking and here i am drinking again i dont even know what im trying to say to be honest i just felt i needed to say whats on my mind,3.0
11280,damn it i missed the trivia show  super sad,2.0
11281,angelavampire hi angela no we havent  how are you ,0.0
11282,watching xxxholic and trying to have a good day not happening so far ,2.0
11283,geezthings that stinks  hope you feel better,2.0
11284,up earlyrunning errands then  birthday party for my neice the princess ,0.0
11285,seanmalarkey what are you doing  no jumping this morning ,0.0
11286,i used to think depression wasnt real i beat depression  years ago since then i had convinced myself  it wasnt real and i just had to harden up and be thankful for what i had the buck up get over it mentality actually worked for me and these past years ive been pretty happy and normal so far  right from the get go has been one load of shit after the other mainly with medical issues little by little ive been crumbling at the back of my consciousness until a few days ago when i just gave in i literally fell to the floor felt a wave of sorrow and let it consume me i felt like i was giving up and letting go after pushing back for so long i realised this medical issue makes me thinkfeel as if my body is against me i also had just returned from a few nights at a holiday house where my sister was getting married and there were a lot of familyfriends around i was pretty excited for the trip enjoyed it then i think it was coming home back to everyday routine that get me down harder not the first time ive had post vacation blues i was standing in front of the mirror brushing my hair then felt the familiar pain again from the medical issue my mind just shut down and ive been wallowing in sadness ever since i had actually believed depression wasnt real its fucking real,3.0
11287, what a lifei need to chill myself  weather nice out there going to lunch nowcya later,0.0
11288,fedora  aka leonidas its brave strong and fearless but itll die in the end ,2.0
11289,pain dont you love getting home and having to take a huge shit the has burned your ass for the hole day you sit down grab your phone and realize its dead and mentally prep yurselft for the pain  in a nutshell,3.0
11290,is it bad that i come here only because i have extremely low selfesteem and practically emotionless and not actually have depression i mean i dont think i have depression but i consider myself a worthless failure and i feel like i shouldve been aborted i freaking hate looking into the mirror and looking at that god awful mud face of mine and i know that my future will fall on top of me i rarely ever smile or enjoy stuff anymore but i still laugh in very rare cases i just come here to cope with low selfesteem since i know its a common part of depression is that bad should i not be on this subreddit,3.0
11291,i felt so bad yesturday for the man that changed my tire i had a flat and he was so nice to fix it for me but he was kinda struggling ,0.0
11292,icklemaximus ouch  i have to pay £ to get the joint between my exhaust and engine replaced  cars are expensive ,2.0
11293, aww i hope you feel better ,0.0
11294,tracecyrus   oh i love your band too  ♥,0.0
11295,so u may all ask wht is going on over in the vt camp well as chucko is away skiing god knows whr myself jack amp mike r left behind ,2.0
11296,im tired of shit i go through and the shit i do im so tired of being constantly sick im tired of the dizzy spells constantly being unable to breathe because of my asthma of always being tired like i dont have a lick of energy just once i want a good nights sleepim tired of feeling like im not good enough i know my selfesteem is low and i know what i have to do to build it up and i do these things but im so tired of having to wake up every day just to build myself to convince myself that getting out of bed is worth it i just want to feel like every day isnt a goddamned fucking battle im so tired of having to pick up the sword every single dayim tired of the shitty decisions i make every day i could be doing better i could be in a better place if i were to just do these things and do them right but my i fuck up and make the wrong decisions because its easy but im tired because because because theres always an excuseim tired of being a shitty friend i make them worry about me i dont want them to i shut them out too often i feel that if i share more i wont be a friend ill just be a leech i try to lift them up but its a facade of course i want their happiness but i have to put on this mask every day so they can pursue their own happiness without worrying about mejust once i want to live without burden to be normal i dont even know what that is but it has to be better than this im tired of being crippled by the past and the future every single day i fight with all my might but my body my mind and everything else knows what im going to do before i do it in dont remember a time when i wasnt fighting,3.0
11297,follow up on a previous post i made months ago why am i so weird a few months ago i made a post just venting about how i felt weird and hated who i was and where i was in life i got a lot of support from this community and was too overwhelmed by it all to reply to anyone or linger on it too long but since then i reached out i got some help i got medicated again on something new that seems to be working and my life has literally changed direction entirely everyday im a step closer to being the man i always wanted to bei just wanted to thank this sub for the support i got it was one of the catalysts i needed to pull myself out and get better i never thought id feel how i feel today im feeling alright,3.0
11298,tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef that im a vegitarian and i aint fking scared of him ,0.0
11299,fakelicious boa noite ,0.0
11300, hehe but i got my streets on lock livin ghetto fabulous  this is what i do for a living gt wwwmyspacecomoldschoolcool,0.0
11301,jeffgirton thanks jeff ive heard youve been keeping my friends entertained today ,0.0
11302,forced myself to go out came bout an hour away to hollywood area for a pop up shop my brain was fighting me the entire way but i made  show friends to go to future concerts with currently sitting in a whisky bar alone not really socializing but i dont feel like i need to im content rightnow it feels so good specially after fighting flashes of crashing my car and killing myself the whole fucking way here,3.0
11303,rt jessiepaege not everyone will understand your mental health struggles whats easy for them is incredibly difficult for youhowever,0.0
11304,rt findtruthq oh no maggiewe are soooo sad to see you go so abruptlythis has nothing to do with the secret recordings rudygiuliani s,2.0
11305,to top it off he has an ear infection   poor little thing  i havent paid off for those ear tubes  i hope he wont have to get replaced,2.0
11306,im totally bored already and i just got up ,2.0
11307,sad  but true solution send mad max amp wigwam liz to assist ,1.0
11308,a like this rugby sevens haha scotland beat england   this day has potential ryt am away te wash ma car,0.0
11309,soniasimone thanks for the cheer and three cheers right back atcha and ittybiz for giving us this fantastic course ,0.0
11310,having accidentally set the volume on my alarm clock to a whisper is not conducive to waking up on time  no morning cardio for me today  ,2.0
11311,uff mileycyrus i already voted ,0.0
11312,sydgag sad this wasnt tweeted during shark week,2.0
11313,trapped sometimes i wonder if its worth it but then i remember how people would feel if i wasnt around i cant believe people care about something as worthless as me i havent slept in two weeks and ive cried nonstop when im alone i wanted to get help but got your fine quit saying your depressed and why you have nothing to be depressed about but i looked in my families medical history and my dads side is genetically diagnosed with depression and bc my adhd its also a side effect and i cant stop thinking what good am i and why shouldnt i i need help but not the way they present it  ,3.0
11314,i dont know what else to do so on saturday i went to a gathering with some friends a few of us including me took mdma the only problem is that when i was at my peak i blacked out i cant remember a single thing all i can remember is going outside and then later coming back in and looking scared of me it turns out i got a bit touchy with two of my closest friends im  theyre  and girls and i feel like ive all let them down i gave one of my friends horrific flashbacks and all of my friends have turned on me they know i blacked out and that i was fucked up im not trying to use it as an excuse or as a scapegoat for my actions but nobody will talk to me i had messages from one friend saying that the thought of what i did disgusted him and that he never wants to see me again i havent lefty bed in three days because of this i just feel so worthless and that i dont deserve to live ive let all of them down and i cant keep going knowing that they feel that way about me these people are the first people that ive ever felt that i fit in with ill never be able to come back from this and the only escape from it is to end my life but i cant bear the though of what that would do to my family but i cant keep going knowing thats thats how they now see me i want to end it all but i just cant being called rapey and creepy by one of your closest friends fucking destroys you inside i cant deal with this anymore i want it to stop,3.0
11315,macfusiongirl im so jealous here the  only comes out july  ,2.0
11316,feels guility  sorry bout that  httpplurkcompwyqow,2.0
11317, craveit was coolbut then again everything is when youre drunk ,0.0
11318,i really wanted to go to surfers today ,2.0
11319,elzibelz i need a b in it  yeeeah im not gonna start revish for it until after deutsch but im not sure if im bothered ,2.0
11320,just messed up my foot really bad basically have a crater in my heel ,2.0
11321,has a fuckin splittin headache  x,2.0
11322,i reallly want that white sundress from topshop its so gorgeous ,2.0
11323,maramakesnoise no its not ,2.0
11324,so happy  ,0.0
11325,same here lol shit is sad,2.0
11326,tempsec it stands for frontier project which is a project where you work for your church for a year its meant to rain all week  xxx,2.0
11327,thedailygriff no way    ill be out of the office,2.0
11328, more freaking potions ,2.0
11329,my seatbelt is digging into my neck  ouchh,2.0
11330,back in the ville damn i miss ny already  lol,2.0
11331,mzrocknroll thank you   the way to improve your twitter score is getting more followers if can help ,0.0
11332,all i can do is laugh yall ever just think about how fucked up your life is and get a giggle out of it,3.0
11333,im here at work super bored ,2.0
11334,i had the best time with my mom  i love her so much,0.0
11335,kyrobbins thanks for the info my dear it also confirmed im now following everyone i need to ,0.0
11336,owwwwww my sister just spanked my butt really hard  lol,2.0
11337,bgsmilestoo the only skill required for a grilled cheese sandwich is not burning it but if you did burn it you probably shouldnt cook ,0.0
11338,so tired and boring  ,2.0
11339,rite now playing call of duty waw  bored,2.0
11340,somebody did something to my pizza ,2.0
11341,when you nightmares seem so real they scare you and you wake up from it with extra anxiety,1.0
11342,does anyone else get annoyed when people talk about their feelings and you cant it frustrates me how easily some people can say to their family and friends that theyre having a bad day or a bad life i feel nothing but annoyance that they can do it and i cant i cant even make selfdeprecating jokes because thats too deep and revealing too much about myself so when other people do that it ticks me off can anyone else relate or is this stupid,3.0
11343,i hate confrontation but i still want to kill myself i dont understand why this paradox exists in my brain i try to think to of myself as nice  but really i hate myself  isnt myself me though  are they two seperate people  i dont get it  ,3.0
11344,i well wanna put my hours down at work ,2.0
11345,hambers to cut a long story short i want one badly but someone keeps tutting end of ,2.0
11346,amylong llubyloo dogwallah erniehedgehog i will cut them in half you can all have one ,0.0
11347,sarahboomtonin yes  doug benson  i didnt see your response  ,2.0
11348,dont care about the french openuntil he beats nadal at roland garros i dont care get well soon nadal ,0.0
11349,trying to wean aleric off the binkie so far it is not going well  ,2.0
11350,ohparanoidhotmailcom ,0.0
11351,ddlovato if you answer me ill be the happiest girl in the world ♥  its serious you make people happy when answer  ♥,0.0
11352,im back i pretty sure i owe the world an apology ,2.0
11353,super frecked out maj relaxation today ,0.0
11354, probably after looking at the pics of him amp stacey at covenant gig ,0.0
11355,gonna kill myself out of a cocaine habit cos life is too boring im a male in his  ive been addicted to cocaine for about  years using it about  times a week stayed clean for a few months then got backi see myself dying of some heart desease before  maybe before life is absolutely boring between things that are mildely entertaining or uninteresting im barely motivated to live without cocaineive tried a lot of different stuff nothing does it for me learning an instrument reading writting stock market competitive and casual gaming youtube channel several kinds of sportsexercising including different martial arts traveling smoking weedeven relashionships and sex are just not the same anymorein fact i missed cocaine so muchive attended several different therapists its always something between a therapist that barely says anything and someone who says common sense shit or straightfoward bullshit like some sort of postmodern relativistic shit thats your truth but what about someone elses truthif you wanna entertain yourself giving advice im all ears but please no religious or getting marriedraising a family stuff id rather die of heart desease before  or   whateveralso no physical exercises of any sort absolutely hate it always have,3.0
11356, youre adorablebut it needs to grow out  ,2.0
11357,any members from morocco  i mean no offense guys but i would love to talk with someone from my country about my situation  please if you are from morocco contact me ,3.0
11358,chelsea lately then bed day with thee sister tomorrow ,0.0
11359,the jimi hendrix experience  manic depression  nowplaying listenlive,1.0
11360,to tired to do anything im to tired to livediesleep eat move or do anything other than sit there and play videogames and work on my laptop does anyone  else have this problem,3.0
11361,would i die if i take  of methylphenidate concerta if so how long will it take,3.0
11362,lookinlikdanger i wish  time but i hear they are only  sec long with groups of  girls no cameras or autographs allowed ,2.0
11363,rant question regarding antidepressants ive been ignoring the elephant in the room for too long i need help  wrecked me and in  i finally gathered up the little motivation i had to visit my doctor from there i was forwarded to a therapist but it took me weeks to finally gather up the motivation to contact her and when i did she told me to try again in august as she was on vacation as you may have guessed i never did i barely had any motivation then but i lost even more motivation as months went byi was struggling with neverending stress couldnt even clear my mind of it for one minute a year later i was feeling slightly better but still had trigger topics that would bring out the stress one more year had passed and i finally felt like i could relax  was a good year for progress but by the end of it things began going south again ive lost everything i achieved in  no motivation no inspiration no will to go on my friends addressed my negativity and i dont want to be around them in fear of saying something that would destroy our friendship im a college student studying software development but due to these stressful moments ive completely lost the motivation to make my one dream come true i no longer get joy from the thought that i might achieve something in the future despite having the skills to make it happen ive got tons of collegerelated debts that go as far back as last year and im having trouble finding internship in order to pass college im running out of time and its not enough to get me motivated nothing is i can barely get out of bed in the morning even slacking off feels like too much work most of the time my mind is just completely blankthen i found a reddit comment talking about the common misconception about antidepressants and how they help you get work done its exactly what i need right now to be productive i dont want any more distractions i dont even care about being happy i just want to get rid of all my debts and continue working on my personal project that might be my key to a success later in lifei just want to ask people who have taken antidepressants before for advice are there any common side effects i should be aware of i cant really think of any questions from the top of my head right now but if theres anything i should know before going to the doctor please let me know,3.0
11364,the ht doctor did not come back  i am so sad,2.0
11365,realized how good extra sleep actually feels ,0.0
11366,it would be raining like crazy when i get off early ,2.0
11367,my anxiety is extreme the entire time driving just to pull up and see that someone pranked me that shit is unacceptable fuck you,1.0
11368,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
11369,visiting uconnbe back later ,0.0
11370,i love the veronicas  xd adictiva a veronicas ,0.0
11371,okay now im scared  dont do it ill kidnap simon cowell if i have to x,2.0
11372,woke up to my alarm going off at  and panicked thinking i was late for work then remembered its sunday and slept for another  hours ,0.0
11373,gtretweet  took my niece on her first whale watch yesterday  not a lot of whale sightings though  httpbitl ,2.0
11374,listening to  dhaniharrison is absolutely lovely  could go for a nice cup of tea,0.0
11375,yesss straight up 🤙🏼😘,0.0
11376,im lost i dont know what to do anymore ive tried everything and its tearing me apart my mind is just rushing with thoughts and emotions all the time and i feel like going insane i have no interest in anything and everything that has ever made me happy and i cant help but to think its hopeless for me im also in a relationship with the most wonderful girl ive ever met and it pains me so much that i cant even show the slightest piece of affection she tries so hard and knowing its become such a onesided relationship is making me feel even worse ive tried to tell her i wanted to end it even though i really really dont because im so unstable and dont want to drag her down with me ive tried to find help and have had no luck with therapy not with medication and it doesnt help to have family around me my whole  life who tell me to just grow up and deal with it i also have severe anxiety and im sure a lot of you know how that is and being depressed and having anxiety go hand in hand that has definitely affected my life heavily due to struggling to answer a simple phone call or making a doctors appointment can be overwhelming its a struggle to even type this up without going through a rollercoaster of emotions i just dont know anymore,3.0
11377,wishes his legs wouldnt be so useless after the gym ,2.0
11378,lilyroseallen i dont see why your explaining the picture to him hes just a idiot with no talent that is jealous of other people with it ,0.0
11379,wwe thanks for the spoliers raw isnt telecast in australia until tomorrow afternoon dont know if ill watch it now ,2.0
11380,thexiaxue ps its only a theory based on my dog hazel since i havent looked at pumpkins teeth im just assuming ,0.0
11381,my girlfriend is depressed and going through tough times im trying to be there for her but im exhausted and my depression is getting so bad my girlfriends cat got euthanised today seriously this cat was her best friend and helped her get through so much shit over the years yeah she was getting old but k was definitely not ready to let go really this cat was somethingive been trying to hold back on my feelings for the past almost two weeks now because kitty was so sick and k was feeling extremely anxious and helpless i was there all the time and drove them to the vet a few times stayed with her texted her all night while she was unloading her negative thoughts onto me i havent been working properly because ive been putting so much time into being there for her even typing this is taking me forever because im texting her right nowi mean listen i know that i shouldnt be complaining in theory im used to being here for her in that way the same way that she is here for me when i need it but this time im drained its been going on for too long and way too intensely honestly  my heart is going to explode and ive never thought about suicide so much not gonna do itim depressed too and she knows it but shes in her full right to be totally down because of whats happening and its absolutely not the right time for me to tell her about my feelings about how i feel unloved and uncared for and its not even her fault about how im just so drained mentally that i hope that every heartbeat is my last i love her so much and seeing her like this is going to kill me im so tired i dont even know what to do other than post about it here,3.0
11382,the gap in my employment is making me spiral ill start with the basics i am a  year old girl and i only have a high school diploma i quit my job at a bank a few months ago i was there for several years and my depression slowly crept back into my life after being well managed for a few years i became extremely unhappy and i decided i would quit and figure out the rest after a mental health break i soon learned this was an awful mistake because ive been job hunting ever since i took for granted how difficult job hunting was when you are under qualified i am so discouraged and i dont know where to turn i recently interviewed and got a job at a hospital but i failed the drug test i stopped smoking marijuana for a month and a half before the test  and really thought i would be in the clear ever since that incident every single job i apply to hasnt called back i feel like i am cursed  i am getting desperate i have about  dollars to my name my cars inspection is due soon i have a lot debt and my credit score has taken nosedive into the ground thinking about my situation puts me into a hysterical state ive never cried so much in my life i feel like im never going to dig myself out of this hole the longer i stay home the worse i feel i feel so far removed from everything i dont want to see my friends or family because i am so embarrassed by my situation my current financial issues mixed with isolation is bringing me to a really dark place im losing the will to eat or even get out of bed most days i am waiting on a few places to call back but im not holding my breath does anyone have any advice how do i deal with all of this rejection and not feel like a complete loser  how can i make someone hire me short of using mind control or witchcraft ,3.0
11383,wishing i was in england this morning ,2.0
11384,if you ever want to chat hello everyone i just wanted to let you know that i will be available to talk with you if you just would like a friend to talk to please reach out i would love to chat  have a better day,3.0
11385,iamdiddy congrats on   want to follow me i have  lol,0.0
11386,rt lisssok nothing sucks more then having no one to talk to when you get anxiety that shit sucks,2.0
11387,aliadler i was the first  also i couldnt resist httpbitlyalibday looks like a few people have made their way over here ,0.0
11388,leaving dc really sick ,2.0
11389,aha my nephew is asking when fangsupyervag is coming back bless ,0.0
11390,rt bjbwalter  foxnews hillaryclinton no lockherup  shell get plenty of mental health help in prison and s ,0.0
11391,achy hot sorei want my mummy and some warm soup ,2.0
11392,i made a huge mistake and i need advice this is serious so  weeks ago i made a hate page of twins on instagram they did nothing to me i was sorta pressured into doing it but i just didnt know what to do so i made a hate page and mentioned really rude stuff like cursing and saying go kill yourself right after i made the page i felt awful i was inactive for a day and then everyone at school starting talking about it i was getting really guilty  weeks passed and i was going mentally insane and was sudicidal i had to tell my friend i texted her and then she said her friend knew her password and her friend saw all the messages that mean friend snapshotted it and posted it on instagram leaving me exposed the next day i was going to turn myself in until it was way to late and the principal came to me and talked to me i told the full truth my mom came and they made it so i had  day inschoolsuspension i felt that was a good decipline then i was grounded i understood why i still am but i need advice and so im on here secretly anyways i got a field trip i was hoping forever taken away and my dad hates me my mom is helping me and like all the adults told me people make mistakes i made a big one and now i just feel awful i wanna die i feel terrible and im mamoirsful i dont know what too do and everyone at school besides  people hates my guts and want to punch me in the face i feel awful what do i do and how can i overcome this i am super sorry i have a bunch of discipline and it keeps pileing on my mom thinks the school is going overboard with this disipline i am super upset can anyone please give me advice and help me get through this sorry this is so long its just really important and i need help my mom is helping but i need a pov from other people thanks,3.0
11393,okay so i freaked me kimmy and mother in law out  ,0.0
11394,kristyy yeah you big jerk  pat and garrett from the maine were there too so we couldve met them d idk if john was there possibly,2.0
11395,celebrated sparshas  birthday last evening wow shes grown fast was good to have family friends and colleagues together  cheers ,0.0
11396,joeymcintyre come out come out wherever u are tweet us we miss yah  via bjoie,0.0
11397,many happy return to danmartin ,0.0
11398,honeyyyyyy if this isnt the best example,0.0
11399,feeling useless im  and i havent done anything with my life except go to school and come home repeat only have one friend and im bad at communicating with people i dont know how to fix my low self esteem and confidence i dont have anyone to confide with so im just speaking my thoughts here even if i did i dont think i could manage to tell anyone directly about my problems id probably end up feeling like a fool and cry ,3.0
11400,bachenbach i ran outta moneyyy  is it like worth it thoughhh,2.0
11401,ooc be move cooperative tomorrow ,0.0
11402,i dont know im wondering if every person in this world wanted to be born maybe some of them dont even want to but  do they eventually say  im glad i was born  it seems for me i never get to that point just think its just a waste to live,3.0
11403,sarahhhclark tell vickie diane i said hello ,0.0
11404,i dont feel ok  today im tired and sick that really suck ,2.0
11405,mikechaneynews i think youre a cool dudeyoure one of the first people i didnt already know that talked to me on twitter  ,0.0
11406,annadeng mental and physical health is more important than homework,0.0
11407,one of the rare benefits of depression is that i have an easier time going to sleep used to have a difficult time going to sleep i dont anymore on the flip side im probably not getting enough sleep my body automatically wakes up after  hours of sleep no matter when i sleep and i always wake up tired though on the bright side i dont need alarm clocks anymore,3.0
11408,laurenmyrtle happy birthday lauren ,0.0
11409,gwynduffy i find most the female horror fans have more guts then us dudes ,0.0
11410,happy birthday to me i have a terrible life and i want to kill myself,3.0
11411,and thats a wrap for the first weekend only  shows left ,2.0
11412,rt girlposts me im finally happy my depression two secs later ,1.0
11413,thepinktaco why limit your story to  ch tell all what is annoying you at wwwiamsoannoyedcom ,0.0
11414, dont even think about getting sick ,0.0
11415,aphrosie it would still involve me standing up lol windows are too high up guess im just gonna have to go out ,2.0
11416,promised my boss id take a few days off of tanning not going near hollywood tans til friday im gonna be one sad panda ,2.0
11417,miss my amy amp scooty is crying  in west palm beach fl httplooptusyuszugt,2.0
11418,uhoh spaghettios the big d is back vent it started after going to the laundromat the feeling that all the energy was drained from my body to be fair doing laundry is always a drain but like damn do invisible gremlins exist some little invisible bastards that just decide to pick a random person to drain the life of for shits n gigglesits been days now with this fatigue this fullbody ache that seeps out from my insidesi justdont wanna eat anything i feel the hunger clawing at my insides and yetgetting up to fix myself a plate of leftovers sounds like doing a  marathoni just want to stay in bedi just want to sleepi just want all this pain to go away i dont even know what the hell caused all this i was feeling fine last weekdepression sucksthe life right out of youbut i still think theres gremlins hidin in the dryers,3.0
11419,havent been twittingnothing to twitt about ,2.0
11420,lol twitter is having a profile picture problem ,2.0
11421,feel like shitill have to miss the youth bbq tonight ,2.0
11422,peekinc i activated one for me and one for my gf on tuesday  i wish i would have known about the free  months for a referral then  ,2.0
11423,woke up  min ago i love waking up late at saterday sometimez yeeeeah  hah,0.0
11424,my boyfriend left me because of my depression ive had a boyfriend for a few months and we had a good relationship we were happy together and in past relationships i didnt have that i was usually manipulated and cheated on in past relationships he knew i was depressed and had anxiety but he never thought anything of it then one night right before my  am flight he went to hangout with another girl hes cheated on other girls and i have severe trust issues i went crazy i dont know why but i was freaking out and crying and thinking the worse and had a bad episode this was a few days ago and today he told me he couldnt deal with my depression and broke up with me i feel so empty inside he was the only person in a long time that gave me love and made me happier than i had been in a while i never thought this would happen my best friend even told me that i couldnt stop something like this i just feel so alone and its  am and im freaking out because i feel like this is all my fault i didnt mean to upset him and i just hate that this happened i dont know what to do ,3.0
11425,okatrynna only for me ,0.0
11426,innyvinny interesting premise i dont watch much family guy anymore ,2.0
11427,even care bears have to care for themselves before others my husband told me this before i decided to leave all social media platforms for the weekend dumping toxic friends is a great way to help the mental health facebook is a dumb idea anyways just full of fake and toxic friends same to iinstgram twitter and snapchat,3.0
11428,sdcomiccon i need a ticket for comic con ,2.0
11429,rt  último dia indo dormir  da madruga sad,2.0
11430,my phone doesnt function ,2.0
11431,perfect summer dress  ,0.0
11432,damn it i still cant find a decent sized photo ,2.0
11433,geoffgirardin  cant connect,2.0
11434,life is just too much for me its  am i havent slept again tonight i cant sleep during the nights lately i just lie in bed with music on trying to sleep but my calm songs further depress me and my agitated ones dont usually help me sleepso i lie awake hoping something can just take me hoping it all just ends i have nothing left for me lost my husband of  years half of my life i spent with him and now hes gone happier without me im all alone in this house all i have is spending the night pondering on all my traumas telling myself maybe it will get better but it never gets fucking better hasnt gotten better since i was nine and wont get better now all i do is prolong my sufferingi feel empty i feel like im no one i have no real personality i have nothing going for me im worthless and replaceable whats even the point i cant live this way i cant live when all i feel is sadness and emptiness these sleepless nights they mess with me as i have nothing left to do they let me see exactly what i feel as i cant distract myself they make me see how much i hate myself i absolutely despise this personim going to be  now and nothing will change nothing will get better if anything it will get worse from here i see no hope no solution to this endless fucking pain why must i feel like this i know im a horrible person but do i deserve to feel all this i cant take it anymore i just need to be taken out of my misery why wont the pain end im sorry im incoherent im so tired i cant form a proper text right now i hate everything and everyone right now i just want the pain to stop i need it to stop but i dont want to kill myself either i just dont see an end or exit i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
11435,rt neverknownfacts not having enough sex puts you at risk of anxiety paranoia and depression,2.0
11436,so tired just got home playing with gucci ,0.0
11437,fcwestfall ive had that happen several times before also fake chuck join the premature cataracts club ,0.0
11438,have you squarespace seen this thing httpenwikipediaorgwikimirv  bombs which could destroy whole continents ,2.0
11439,questions about dysthymia i have dysthymia and of course it makes life a living hell but i heard a couple things are wanted to know if this was true first is that people can claim their dysthymia is a disability and receive pay for that im not saying i want to do that just want to know if thats true secondly i heard there are jobs that you cannot do if you have dysthymia or if you are taking ssris for it does this include piloting ranging from commercial airliner to fighter pilot to astronaut,3.0
11440,esskayy yeah thanks for that haha ,0.0
11441,amor and psyche ,0.0
11442,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
11443,i dont wanna go to workkkkk ,2.0
11444,eating fries ,0.0
11445,well thats not very nice  lol,2.0
11446,wineevangelist i didnt take it as flip at all ,0.0
11447,anyone wanna chat so i took something that i shouldnt have taken and right now im just waiting to fall asleep hopefully its the permanent sleep lol hows life treating you these daysedit thanks for talking to me everyone you dont know how much this means to me you guys are all awesome and i wish you the best in life goodbye 👋🙂,3.0
11448,shinskydadon pole about the accident hun glad they are safe be sure to spoil them rotten ,0.0
11449,is bloody bored but doesnt want tomorrow to come if it means work ,2.0
11450,going invisible im sure we all feel it the more we try and integrate with people around us the more we feel isolated and out of placei dont understand why its so hard to feel loved why does it have to be like thisi know im probably coming across as attention seeking but is it too much to ask for a little bit of love from the people who are supposed to be acquaintances friends on familyeven on social media platforms so many peoples voices are washed away maybe not me but so many of you need and deserve betterits almost easier to disappear entirely whats the point of hoping for love when i dont even deserve it in the first place at least i know that if i cant hear other people i wont have to wait in anticipation as my heart bleedssorry,3.0
11451,coleh itunes send the links and ill download in the morning thank youuu ,0.0
11452,gulpanag you own a bullet wow wont people recognize you i meanyou being a celebrityi wonder how safe it isanyway happy riding ,0.0
11453,myfriendjohnny ok totally thought you put rollerblades on billy this makes much more sense ,0.0
11454,tattoo  i am more than depression anxiety and ocd i have strength ,2.0
11455,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,1.0
11456,i wanna play bubble trouble   not to mention rock band,0.0
11457,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
11458,hair  ugh why is everything happening that i didnt plan for i need a moment of silence before i start using profane language ,2.0
11459,having a secret late night fiesta ,0.0
11460,just watching some tv right now just ate pizzza  it was soo good,0.0
11461,my left eye hurts poor me ,2.0
11462,finding the humour in the darkest things i have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety i started getting help in may of last year and it has changed my life in ways i didnt know possible i often still struggle but im out of the deepend on top of anxiety and depression i also have obsessive thoughts before i got help it was often distressing images that played on loop in the head for hours since being medicated instead of distressing images sometimes ill just get other things on loop often conversations i want to have with people however this morning i woke up with a video my brother showed me when we were kidstrogdor the burnitor unfortunately i only remember trogdor the burnitor burninting villages and so far the only thing that helps is just muttering that line to my self in a ridiculous voice,3.0
11463,ah now i get it jim gaffigan speaks some truth about sleep   damn funny guy ,0.0
11464,makikaysantos thanks love  btw happy mothers day to your mom ,0.0
11465,its  and im finally going to bed ,0.0
11466,im awake gah need to go get dressed  get money out before my drivng lesson at  ,2.0
11467,thebostonian τι έκανα ,2.0
11468,watching old scifi and fantasy films you can see the inspiration for lots of dnd spells and monsters ,0.0
11469,jessclarke i wish i could ,2.0
11470, lol i wasjust wasnt in the tweeting mood  i guess there was a debate lol surprise surprise,0.0
11471,on the way home chocolate yazoo salt and pepper kettle crisps its the atkins diet ,0.0
11472,followsavvy lol im sorry u girls look so similar  well i love ur mom shoes ,0.0
11473,vodkahouse haha i  how french is not easy translated from english i got what u said thou but its funkyampfunny  ill write that down,0.0
11474,raestipated my dad tells me every week to watch that i think were gna rent it out in the next few days ill tell you if its good ,0.0
11475,rebeccaglass better than being a rangers fan i suppose ,0.0
11476,rt kikkiplanet  paulatics goofygemini usscobblerguy nathanhrubin oh the stress eating costs are real i spent about  at va,1.0
11477,tylermahurin aw dude that sucks ,2.0
11478, those who are fascinated by the  and old fogies at heart enjoy  ,0.0
11479,ex boyfriend contacted me wanting to work things outbad timing someone has already taken his place and hes amazing ,0.0
11480,i cant take care of myself im at a place where i can manage my depression pretty well but i still slip back into episodes and its always obvious when i do i cant take care of myself when im depressedi cant brush my teeth at night can hardly do it in the morning just that task seems so insurmountable even though its just brushing my teeth the nights im depressed i drink a tiny cup of water pop my retainer on and if its not super bad wipe down my face some days i just put on my pajamas and watch youtube for three hours before passing out this is a change from my routine of brushing and flossing brushing my hair and have a fullfledged skincare routine fit with two different face washes toner cream moisturizer and occasional exfoliator its so hard to even do the simplest task of brushing my teeth when im depressedmy room looks like shit my garbage is overflowing my face is full of acne because i havent been washing it well enough my legs and joints ache and i dont take a pain reliever even though the pain warrants it i havent cleaned my sheets in two weeks i skip meals because i cant find the energy to make myself dinner and feel guilty buying foodi know this will pass and ill put my clothes away open the windows in my room to air it out start washing my face better but right now it just feels like so much,3.0
11481,watching that  showi think im actually suffering with insomnia nowi want to go to sleep ,2.0
11482,feeling a bit sick at work ,2.0
11483,watching my future husband not play ,2.0
11484,still sick   woke up at  am feels good not to have work will be leaving soon to my parents place in dubai ,2.0
11485,it makes me lowkey kinda sad that ive been about positivity all my life bro all my life ive wanted nothing but go ,2.0
11486,alright its time for marisa to go mimis had so much fun hanging with jennifer tonight exhausted now deuces ,0.0
11487,think im getting sick ,2.0
11488,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
11489,im only at peace when im alone and when my eyes are closed when my eyes are open thats when reality sinks in and im really uncomfortable around people c,3.0
11490,catching up with an old friend ,0.0
11491,hoptonhousebnb violetbakes yes i should be but my  old son doesnt share this view ,2.0
11492,hi everyone hi everyone i dont know how to say this but i have to let somebody know even if its only myself i lie to myself every day telling me that its ok and being happy and all but when im alone showeringwalking my dogs whatever i feel like something is missing and its all for nothing every day i have this and i dont know what to do i cant handle the unknown and things i dont know i told nobody about this and its really beginning to have its effects on me as a person i dont feel like who i was before i feel like a diffrent person all toghether im scared and sad and i feel alone,3.0
11493,frustrating night yest trying to update  firmware lots of uninstallreinstallrestart but no luck with nokia adl driver to install ,2.0
11494,luxuryluke have no mouse ,2.0
11495,must wash dishes  so i must go off now   love you all  ,0.0
11496,davidleeking hey thx for that  i had missed it  re twitter amp rww much appreciated ,0.0
11497,assistant program manager mental health bangor maine httpstcohwlnrgkdor mainejobs ,1.0
11498,just had a little cry to ghost on  oh dear cant believe i just admitted that ,2.0
11499,rt indelics depression isnt always suicide notes and pill bottles sometimes its all smiles and fake laughter depression isnt always,2.0
11500,cant believe sarahs gone ,2.0
11501,can anyone here help me with getting some help on resolver one  sent email to company on friday still no reply ,2.0
11502,cant do anything right fuck i fucking hate myself i was supposed to have my first therapy appt arrive  mins late make my bf drive me and give him a panic attack spend the entire meeting having a panic attack crying and ventingnot enough time to talk go through my problems im fucking insane she couldnt wait for me to get out of there eager to get me to pay and leave im such a nutcasethey ask me what i want out of therapy they ask me this all the fucking time i dont fucking know i just want help please just help me nobody willhow the fuck am i supposed to get help for bulimia and bpd someone help me start please,3.0
11503,im really struggling and have no one to vent to you dont have to reply i just needed to get this out im really struggling tonight for the first time in a while i thought i was getting better but ive realised that im a long long way away from that im getting all the help i can get but im still struggling with everythingright now im sick because i did too much this weekend aka  steps across  days now ive got a cfs flare up which is like the flu but worse and im barely able to get out of bed i cant do anything except use my phone so im even more crushingly bored than ever even when i get better im going to be so bored cos i just dont have anything to do with myself over summer ive got no purpose no motivation to get out of bed anymorei lost my job a few weeks ago it was the perfect job for me something i genuinely enjoyed doing super friendly staff minimal customer interaction and most importantly only a few hours a day so i had plenty of chance to rest it was honestly perfect and im never going to find another job like it it was the only thing i got out of bed for i would genuinely get breakfast and go back to bed afterwards until it was time for work ive been looking for another job every day since then but theres nothing in my area that i can do retail jobs make me actively suicidal i would do anything to avoid another one every other job either requires experience which i dont have or has too many hours for me to be able to physically do even  hours would be too many unless i absolutely loved what i was doing which i wont do cos im too depressed to enjoy anything right nowat home ive spent absolutely ages months on end fighting a losing battle against fleas our cats brought them in one day months ago and the house has been full of them since i wake up every day with more bites on my legs the cats are flea free but theyre about the only thing it makes me feel so embarrassed and disgusting thinking about it and what other people must think when they hear it i used everything to fog and spray and clean every room in the house last week i even washed every towel mat and piece of clothing i own and within  days the fleas were back i dont know what else i can do and im struggling to cope with them on top of everything else tooi tried to do something fun for myself this evening but it went wrong and i realised theres no point trying it anyway i waited too long to start and the yearly challenge i wanted to do is going to be over before i can even begin dont ask me what it is please because ive said too many identifying things already  i take all tint disappointments so personally it really brings me down this was supposed to be something fun but instead i failed and it kicked off this big depressive spiral thats led to me crying in bed while typing this  so yeah im supposed to be seeing a therapist but i have no way to contact her and i havent had an appointment in  weeks now im on meds and they were working brilliantly for the last  weeks but my doctor is ready to switch me onto a different one whenever im ready to try it i feel like such a burden and that ill never get better cos ive only got worse since starting treatment,3.0
11504,i cant type so sorry if oyou can sread what i say on msn ore anythign my fingggres r lieik popsicles ,2.0
11505,ladygaga omg youre coming to singapore on the  but i wont be in town ugh i wanna see you so badly please come back ,2.0
11506,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
11507,last full day of school tomorrow sweet as always chillin w vance frances roy and teddy tomorrow and kurt  excited peacelove danie,0.0
11508,just up no sure what to do with myself today any suggestions ,0.0
11509,got the job ,0.0
11510,my mood change with the weather the whole weekend was cloudy and rainy and instantly my mood was so bad today the sun is out and im in such a good moodanybody else why is  it because i am a women or the depression or my hormones or some evil wizard casting spells and forgot to turn it off,3.0
11511,is sad  grandma is sick ,2.0
11512,despite the robinson boys just being all sorts of whack sad machine still slaps,1.0
11513,sunburned shoulders and back yowza ,2.0
11514,got a puppy after my dog died found it too hard  days later and returned it to the breeder my  year old dog died last thursday and on sunday i bought a new puppy he was such a cute little guy but i couldnt bare listening to its crying at night and i never got any sleep it wouldnt pee while on a leash and i have no gardenso i decided to return it now i feel terrible i thought  days wouldnt have got me so attached but now i  miss it he was such a loving little guy apart from the problems i hadi know nothing anyone is gonna say is gonna really make me feel much better i just have to get this off my chest i just hope his next home is a good one because that worries me toowhat have i done,3.0
11515,i sorta beat social anxiety and now it created a bigger problem i  suffer from mild social anxiety but it used to be worse so as a coping mechanism to not knowing how to socialize i make jokes and a lot of jokes roasting myself in sometimes extreme manners as i always do things it made me less of a loserloner and more of a regular kid which is awesome for a teenager butas i said i make a lotta jokes about myself and people think that they can too seems logical yet it isnt i cant take it people make fun of everything i do even when i find the courage to tell them im not ok which is hard considering i got sa they somehow making fun of it later onone time one girl i really thought was one of my best friends along with a tiny bit of help from her friends single handedly managed to make try to jumper under a speeding car i didnt get hurt it didnt seem like me i never thought i would try to kill myself even in my darkest times shit got worse when her two friends were trashtalking me directly in front of me while i was in midst of a mental breakdown that nobody was even remotely trying to stop they said that they were dissappointed about my asshole behavior which was literally a fucking mental breakdown ffsthere hasnt been much lately and things seem like theyre going a bit more smoothly but ive missing these long writing sessions on reddits finest rant subs and i still feel very bad and lonely so i thought id share with other people who are in kinda the same boat,3.0
11516,quoteveryday is the first of the rest of your lifequot im soooo tired goodnight xo ,0.0
11517,actually due to technical difficulties tbotw isnt playing today ,2.0
11518, noooo sobs i went to take a nap at like  then never woke up in time ,2.0
11519, i know it still makes me sad ,2.0
11520,ilianaarroyo stop feeling sick so you can come eat with me ,2.0
11521,repairthebreach thats whats up ,0.0
11522,im listening to all night is alright by racing kites what are you listening to ,0.0
11523,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
11524,umm w t hwhere is my pic atcome on now twitter ,2.0
11525,good morning  last night my boody valentine   the good thing got to see jensen ackles right in front of me x a little bloody but hot,0.0
11526,can you guys please give me some encouraging words i really need to hear it right now just found out my dad has stage  lung cancer and couldnt stop crying the whole day i cant imagine my life without my dad i want my dad to be there for my birthday i want my dad to watch my graduate from university i want my dad to walk me down the aisle at my wedding but our time is limited if i were to be born again i want to be his daughter again ive been crying non stop but i decided at least when i go to hospital to see him i should be strong for my dad can you guys be strong for me please let me hear something encouraging,3.0
11527,lost my passion i used to be an avid writer ive written hundreds of short stories and even five novels ever since i went to grad school and depression hit me i probably havent written a creative piece in a year and a half while im mentally much better and mostly pushing past my anxiety now and my fears of living again my passion for writing hasnt come back i have broad ideas but the minute i try to sit down and write any of it my mind goes blank or i get that feeling of dread and hopelessness anyone else have this problem i wanna start writing again ,3.0
11528,sharontk good at least someone is having it i was craving it all day only to find out at the last minute it was greek ,2.0
11529,at the biggest toy store in the world ,0.0
11530,i cant anymore help ive been holding it for so long im a hopeless almost  year old introvert and i have dropped out of therapy  times now because of the angst that attending to it caused meive been dealing with depression for a long time now clinically diagnosed more than a year ago along with insomnia i have undergone a long period without taking medication as i felt it did nothing but induce artificial energy in me to be able to get out of bed and attend school and often resulted in me having anxiety attacks for no reason i am an extremely perfectionist and selfdemanding person with very high standards and always put myself down because of things i cant achieve or do better things that i simply cant do because of essential lack of motivation andor enthusiasm i have become all along my teenage years a cynic pessimistic hopeless individual my mornings start with physical and mental pain and at night i lay awake being flagellated by my own selfdestructive thoughts i keep them to myself and let them out sometimes by writing but im afraid i cant hold it all in anymorei havent had a happy adolescense so far not at all not going to go into detail but since i was a child ive had a lot of physical problems and the fact that im an and this hurts to say because i hate myself so damn much above average individual in regards of intelligence and iq hasnt helped me to feel connected to anyone or anything i feel alienated strange melancholic almost every single minute of my flawed existence i undergo periods in which suicidal thoughts come to mind and i use my sense of humor as a coping mechanism which ultimately regardless of what i say ends up only hurting me more psychically my mom which i dont deserve is such a caring human being but cannot understand me and only wants the best for me so i take all the guilt for making her suffer by watching me suffer through everyday life i am not good at livingtoday ive received a blow from the extremely reduced circle of friends i hang up with which by the way im not comfortable in and seeing as theyre always toxic and use my problems as a joking matter for their own amusement which i try not to reveal but they end up figuring out and torturing me with their nonexistent sense of empathy i really havent got anything to look forward to not even college because i dont have the drive to fucking live let alone study furthermorethis is the last drop of water in my cup i thought i had been improving this year but i seriously need a change of pace or im going to turn insane please helpplease please,3.0
11531,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
11532,laying on the beachh love my life ,0.0
11533,i want to go back i want to go back to a few years ago i was still depressed but saying it will get better and this is only temporary still worked i miss when it was simple when i knew how i was feeling and why these days i feel numb but with an underlying tone of sad and hopelessness im so tired of fighting myself everyday,3.0
11534,jaykpurdy oh jayk when you will ever reply me ,2.0
11535, omg i havent heard that in a whilewonder what happened to him not approved ,2.0
11536,all i feel is anger lately and im losing my mind ive had depression for as long as i can remember i think up until i was in my early  i was able to handle it pretty well i took anti depressants saw a therapist did all the things they recommend etcbut lately ive felt like ive snowballed into something worse and i feel so hopeless about it i started feeling like my lowest low all the time instead of half the time i stopped enjoying things i used to love i distanced myself from my friends and family i no longer have insurance so the anti depressants and therapy went away i started losing weight and felt sick whenever i tried to eat i started working third shift which started the habit of doing nothing except laying in bed all day until i have to go to work my life went from reasonably okay to a dark black pit of emptinessi used to spend all day doing nothing except sleeping and when i wasnt sleeping i was laying there staring into nothing or crying myself back to sleep i stopped seeing my friends and family because i would feel so pathetic and miserable after talking to them and seeing how happy they were i would immediately begin sobbing after i left i felt nothing but numbness and sadness and emptiness like i was a shell of what i used to beive tried to fill that hollowness with positive things love dreams goals even hope sometimes hope that i would get through this and be okay in the end but none of that worked so instead ive filled it with angerive never been so angry before in my entire life its to the point that it frightens me ill get so angry that i lash out and anyone closest to me at that time and its ruining every relationship that i have ive had panic attacks that i feel like im so furious and upset that i scream into my pillow and end up throwing up i resent every single good thing that happens to my family members or friends because im not a part of it or something good will never happen to meim a monster i dont even recognize myself anymore i used to be so sweet and kind to everyone i was someone that i would want to be friends with but now im nothing but a bitter angry husk of a person im angry that my family doesnt love me enough im angry that i work a job that i dont like im angry that i have no motivation to get out of bed most of the time im angry that everyones lives are moving forward while im stuck doing nothing and just fading away day by day i am so goddamn angry its sickening and i hate myself for iti dont know what to do anymore im tired of feeling this way,3.0
11537,the end of menace  society always makes me so sad,2.0
11538,camanomade right on buy local buy handmade and recyclereuse by crocheting instead of buying ,0.0
11539,time is running out theres no way i make it to  at this point the only thing that can prevent my suicide is something else killing me firstevery attempt ive made to pull myself out of this pit has resulted in me falling deeper ive tried therapy many times with many therapists but therapy only helps if youre competent enough to help yourself ive tried so many different prescriptions and combos i cant even remember half of themi no longer know of anything that will bring me joy im no longer capable of love either nothing good can possibly come from my continued existenceeveryone around me knows ive been depressed for a very long time i talk about it a lot one thing is clear there is nothing that can help me im not really even sure why im posting this i have no hope i have no faith,3.0
11540,conan is ridic love him still wish i had a big spoon    xoxo,2.0
11541,i guess im not ,2.0
11542,mirrelldc thougt you might like the link  behind the scenes pic of harry potter and deathly hollows shoot ,0.0
11543,deletes twitter because its causing me too much insecurities and anxiety for some reason idkme like  hours la ,1.0
11544, updates ,0.0
11545,is excited again ,0.0
11546,buffalo tom was a really good band ,2.0
11547,back to bangalore and yet another monday at office ,0.0
11548,taking a lil break frm studying sad i missed my ballet class tonite  ,2.0
11549,is starting over with ssris worth it so ive been dealing with major depression for a while now and through the last  years have used more or less all the mainstream ssris my doctor could recommend while i found some to be better than others i found they didnt really move the needle and instead were just a rotation of severe side effects last summer i made a decision to try getting off ssris to reestablish what my natural baseline is since it had been years of jumping from one to another with my doctors supervision i weaned off them and by the autumn i was not taking anything problem was things didnt feel much different and in fact got a fair bit worse i know stopping just short of winter wasnt the best move but i was desperate to figure out what i felt like again so with mood being all over the place but typically tanked i considered that maybe i should be on them after all  however im scared because i dont know if im just setting myself up for more misery via side effects to little benefit tldr if ssris largely didnt work a first time around is it worth trying again i feel like ive hit a wall in terms of what the next course of action to be and i desperately want to feel like myself again thanks ,3.0
11550,apparently we have new neighbors upstairs that are making noise ,2.0
11551,my feet are so sore ,2.0
11552,its a perfect op for everyone to advertise their blogs ,0.0
11553,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
11554,i hae my body hey redditors i am  male and the reason why im reaching out is because i seriously am tired of people telling me im underweight ive been skinny my whole life and my body is something ive been insecure about i weigh about  pounds ive have gone to the gym these past couple of months but often times i feel like im not doing the proper workout or eating a good amount of foodtoday has hit a new low for me because ive been having a crush on my coworker and ive wanted to ask her out on a date and asked my manager if he can help me hook up with her my manager that i would have a shot with me but the issue is that i am too skinny that got me depressed and made me cancel plans to go out with my friend tonight ive spoken with my main boss to help me get in shape and help me build since he is a gym junkie so i want build that confidence that ive never had with my body my question to you guys is have you ever been in a similar situation as i am on weight issues how did you overcome it and how do you get over someone that might not feel the same way towards you any tips and helpful information on how i can pvercome my issue and also how i can build more mass will be greatly appreciate it ,3.0
11555,tehgrumpydude lol not my choice im afraid ,2.0
11556,quinnkeshalyi yaeljk i think dianyach is out partying its her birthday ,0.0
11557,urgh i carnt do my coursework conclusion ,2.0
11558,me quotgoing away for  nights that okquot  son quota bit ill miss youquot still echoing in my head from this morning ,2.0
11559,i wish my dads band was playing this weekend   ♫ ,2.0
11560,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
11561,lauramurph i retweeted you darling giving you credit for your tweet because i looooved it ,0.0
11562,pish youre killing my buzz helen  x,0.0
11563,lostonparadise good night ,0.0
11564,mandygiselle ohh is that like our confirmation the video with that camara man that was there ohh ok yup we need to make planes haha ,0.0
11565,lionslambbellac the crew we dont travel without eachother  ill tell you in advance,0.0
11566,damienmulley yes otherdad  katiemoffat wait do i go back to sleep or cause mischief,2.0
11567,i opened the door and a butterfly flew in my house ,2.0
11568,reetzman i hear ya about getting rid of tan lines i need to work on that myself no sun here lately ,2.0
11569,the simple details that instantly make me even more depressed i dont know for you guys but personally i have trust issues and never really had friends i do have some people i hang with  and with who i act as a friend even though i still cant trust them fullythe thing is that i notice every single detail of our relationships and it keeps fueling my distrust in them and my depressionthe fact that they do parties together and im not even invited even though im the one who gave the ideathe fact that they treat each other way better than they treat mei really dont know where im going with this postits just hard to never have had anyone you could trust in your entire life,3.0
11570,just got up ,2.0
11571,dancerpeace yes we will see and dont cry when the lakers lose lol hey the lec never called me for an interview ,2.0
11572, this is the loveliest suicide note ive ever read hey thanks what what,2.0
11573,my therapys ended and im spiralling downwards so today is one week post my therapy ending and im losing my shit its a service on the nhs meant to prevent psychotic episodes and is  months long which has ended i always have a lot of shit going on in my life my family is really dysfunctional and im living with abusers under the same roof im at my wits end because therapy is what got me through discussing my family and relationship problems and feeling like i had a safe space ive always had difficulty with maintaining friendships mainly because a lot of the people i ended up being friends with excluded me because of a lot of the baggage i had so im at a point where i have a few friends but i see them rarely because of circumstance and im feeling really lonely like im alone with my feelings and that im invisible that coupled with the fact that i dont really like talking about how depressedanxious i am because i feel like a burden and a downer school is just ever depressing because i sit in a work room and just do my work all day with not much interaction with other peopleim in a relationship which makes things harder  its different to any other relationship ive had mainly because i feel its actually healthy and despite our mental illnesses we are open with ourselves and eachother that being said i recently upset him and obviously im being patient with the time he needs to feel his hurt i dunno i feel like a lot of my stability comes from him because he lived near where my therapy took place it just became habit for us to see eachother after my therapy and i didnt catch on till later than i used it for me to cope with how vunerable i felt after therapy he made me feel okay its only recently when ive been going straight home after therapy that i realised how hard it was for me to get to feeling okay after being open in therapy and when we have disputes and arguments  i get so upset i start crying like the worlds collapsed and being ott when usually i cant even cry at all it feels my stability is shaken up bc he represents stability i realised all this shit and we talked about it and im trying to be more independent with how i control my emotions because of all this shit im just fking wanting to jump off a bridge i feel like its all too much and ill never be able cope with the future im so unstable crying at like the smallest things ik this is long as fuck but i have to get it off my chest somewhere thanks and love to anyone that reads ,3.0
11574,gym  leg day awaits  once again im glad its monday so i get a break from our nonstop weekend schedule  last week of school ,2.0
11575, lol youre a cheeky boy ok ill see what i can do with your music  i might be able to get it around yay ,0.0
11576,im currently on orders helping and supporting with  im losing my mind im in the army currently supporting this pandemic ive been out here for almost a month and will be here for at least another month my first  weeks out here i was doing security at a testing site and where patients were being held it wasnt too bad only thing that i really had to deal with was one patient attempting to kill herselfnow for the past few weeks ive been at a huge convention center that was transformed into a hospital to hold patients seeing these patients come in has really been fucking with me yesterday i watched an old man take his last breath as they were taking him out the ambulance this whole situation has me beyond stressed im working  hours day  days a week  days off im not sleeping well so im only getting about  hours of rest a night im starting to push my girlfriend away unintentionally barely even talking to her i havent talked to my family in about  weeks i just have no desire to talk to anyone i dont feel like myself right nowi was finally getting my first day off today after a month then get a call  minutes ago telling me i know have to work the night shift from  to  so now i have to work a  hour shift on  hours of sleep i just dont even know what to do anymore,3.0
11577,doesnt want subo to win shes not the best in my opinion diversity or julian smith ,0.0
11578,evangtcogic lol nah shes half puerta rican ,0.0
11579,btgg wowthat totally sucks  pple r really rude,2.0
11580,stunning defeat  i  was beaten by drybsa  ,2.0
11581,i hate my life at the moment it all started when i was  really and i was in the front seat of the car and super excited because it was my first time so of course being an exited little  year old i threw something which pissed of my dad he got really mad and turned the car around dragged me home and tried to hit me but my mom saw him and took me out to the car we sat there in the car and she was crying while i was just sitting there because i didnt understand soon after they decided but my dad hasnt gotten any better in fact he has gotten worse and it really scares me once he looked like he wanted me dead my mom has stage  breast cancer which she got when i was  so i live with my dad and my sister she beat it the first time but i dont know now i dont know what to do because me and my sister would be put into foster care if i told anyone and even if they didnt it would probably get worse so i dont know what to do,3.0
11582,hey everyone  its my birthday today but im not doing anything special at all  didnt get organised  one boring day  go to gym tho ,2.0
11583,editing all the things i need to make this album cover  whats everyone up to today,0.0
11584,dystonic man if you were in maine id have a ton of reccs for you something else break in the house ,2.0
11585,sunswebmaster i hope i can find that interview down underreally feel for the guy  he had everything  tragedy doesnt discriminate ,2.0
11586,im loving this new phone ,0.0
11587,just got a call from ebay  my sims  cd hasnt yet arrivedsigh ,2.0
11588,is feeling horribly nauseous today  wish i could sleep,2.0
11589,homework time ,2.0
11590,is so ready to spend the weekend with my baby  the apartment  and get rid of this sickness  also get to know mike more hmhmhmh ,0.0
11591,my contribution to humanity life on earth has been around for at least  billion years let that sink in every single individual in my ancestral lineage has managed to reproduce and pass on genetic information to their progeny allowing each generation to be more suitable than the last against all odds each of my ancestors—no matter their form of life—has done their single most basic fundamental duty procreate but then there is me the terminusi will be the first individual in my direct ancestral lineage who will fail to do what all those before me have done i will not give rise to the next generation i will usher in the end of  billion years of continuityso because of this and after much thought i have realized there is only one remaining way for me to contribute to humanity i will need to remove my unsuitable genes from the gene pool so that i dont compromise the viability of future generations my genes are a threat to the welfare of our species i did not choose for things to be this way unfortunately i have failed by convention but i do hope to make it up to all of you by taking one for the team please just know im trying to help you all and i just want to do my part in the grand play that is life note i am really not interested in hearing anyone tell me that reproduction is not all important or that im thinking about biology too much i really dont think anything ive said is necessarily incorrect,3.0
11592,watching friends and eating oatmeal with banana and walnuts then schoooool ,2.0
11593,abiteofsanity thats probably the same look i had when first read your twitter bio ,0.0
11594,just finished watching the curious case of benjamin button   the movie but it brought me to tears why must they make sad movies ,2.0
11595,so my day has definitely gone downhill ,2.0
11596,is this rove retiring thing true ,2.0
11597,i think its gonna b a late nighti cant go to sleep   fuhubonly time will tell ,0.0
11598,not an altogether gnarly day did not got lost did not break anything by accident its the small victories some days ,0.0
11599,full metal alchemist brotherhood httpbitlyoewcx  may have more eps too ,0.0
11600,runawaydva so true 😭😭😭😭 this is why i didnt follow main stream sports but now blizzard got me hooked and i have ,1.0
11601,this is driving me nuts ,2.0
11602,preparing for your first therapy session the first session of therapy covers a lot this article helps you prepare by going over some of the things your therapist will be talking about in that first hour and some of the important general information about therapy,3.0
11603,i struggle with depression hey i am a  m if that matters at all i have been struggling with depression for  years now there are some nights like tonight where everyone around me are partying and im in my little room alone feeling that no one wants me around i have never reached out for help but tonight i feel the worst i have ever felt i never have the intention of doing anything harmful i just hate and tired of this loneliness feeling that just hovers over me,3.0
11604,omgpichu oak had some nice nuts he never shared any nuts though ,2.0
11605,ready for a new quothardquotwork week this morning i was very busy and thinkin at vacations  ,0.0
11606,just got home from the night shift  lookin foward to my day off tommorow and going to the casinos,2.0
11607, hey i miss you  whats up with ya,2.0
11608,reading  timyoung therealtrevor i rarely do either i must have gotten lucky tonight  ,0.0
11609,rt  yezidi children in isis captivity were brainwashed and many of them were used as suicide bombers still many are suffering,2.0
11610,download opera browser free the nordic power brwser  ,0.0
11611, so mean ,2.0
11612,love my pr friends you guys stay classy ,0.0
11613,project natal omgosh its gonna be awesome but its gonna be at least £  i want one now ,0.0
11614,sometimes even netflix is too much of a commitment i cant even describe why but i will make it through a night on  youtube videos whereas watching a show or even a whole damn movie would be way too much timeconcentration and basically i cant handle the commitmentdoes anyone feel the same,3.0
11615,dhrubab you could use now moved to the sandbox  or vote for syntactic sugar for jms  or diy obviously ,0.0
11616,cricket  bets   right so far  ,0.0
11617,i still cant sleep  fuck,2.0
11618,uhhh i hate when friends ditch you for people who are backstabbers ,2.0
11619,mealzh good luck with the awards it will be a fantastic night all your hard work will pay off ,0.0
11620,yay the oscar mayer weinermobile is in town today too bad i have to work ,2.0
11621,dropslash i cant wait to see them ive been living vicariously thru everyones  pics ,2.0
11622,coldplay   guy say hello to everybody for me  furthermore i hope you will have a great time in america ,0.0
11623,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety httpstcolbwfeviwft,1.0
11624,jasonrubin id love to   but it wont begin  i can only see monkey gods and the full red circle but theres nothing i can do  ,2.0
11625,practice went amazing today  chillin with friends at the bux   i already miss jon ,2.0
11626,hahahaha goodbye danny gokey and good ridance ,0.0
11627,bookwhore so you are around  ,0.0
11628,lesleylambert colors are good but no patterns black is always good too  but you are a bright amp colorful person  share that ,0.0
11629,brusca like the updates considering where you are and have phone  internet reception it could be an ad for that network ,0.0
11630,watching the clevelandorlando game get the feeling cavs are going to come back and winkobe amp lebron would be fun to watch ,0.0
11631,well ok now im happy happy happy ,0.0
11632,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
11633,probably wont be super active this week bc a homie feeling sad but yeah i love svt twice neonpunch and yubin,0.0
11634,sammijade my sunday is abit boring really i hate the rain  about about u hun missed u xx ,2.0
11635,im tired of waiting if youre not coming   then you need to tell me gosh ,2.0
11636,im bummed  my shoulder is still hurting and i want to x this morning but think its a bad idea anyone have good cure for muscle pain,2.0
11637,sarahtheissen you hope to see me soon  well i hope to see you too ,0.0
11638,wow my shoulders are tight my neck feels so stiff n painful what is this ,2.0
11639,sunburnt shoulder  school in the morning attempting to learn two rebels on the guitar  quot ,2.0
11640,rt  super nakaka proud ang dalawang ito powerful influencers talaga victormagtanggoldestiny aldubdeeper httpstcoi,0.0
11641,i just want to not exist anymore i dont find any joy in anything anymoreeverything i used to love and enjoy is just dulli have a chronic condition that i have to treat everyday otherwise itll kill me and itll probably kill me in  years anywaysjust going out into the world and watching things everything seems pointless  eating is pointless just to hold off hungerits winter and everything is cold and dead  the sun sets early as fuck  i have no friends to speak of that i can talk to and keep company with  i have had the last  days off of work and have only seen my mom in those  days  not counting fast food employees or just random people just got dumped and my ex is already seeing new people  they already have a date lined up for tomorrowi work a shitty minimum wage job  my college degree in business admin hasnt done shit for me  i have to live with my parents because i make so little even looking on dating apps the people there just look like people  not someone i could live a life with  my ex with all their flaws seemed to me like the best person for me  life is pointless without someone to enjoy life with and share all your things with  why cant i just not exist  why did i have to exist in the first place  i feel so empty alone and everything in life and everything i do seems so pointless  just shit to prolong my life until i eventually die  oh and im pretty ugly and dull so finding someone else to date is probably next to impossible  ,3.0
11642,fuck you no one is going to read this but fuckyou no one reads my fucking posts on every fucking forum i post on i dont deserve to to be here i should just fucking run away and die and i bet people still wont give a shit about me,3.0
11643,aplusk i would be sleeping with  eye openhide knives lightersand nail guns sleep tighthope the dolls dont bite ,0.0
11644,a little bit longer and ill be fine ,2.0
11645,is thinking how lucky i am to have such a gorgeous and clever lil princess shes my world so proud of her  love you loads kianna xxx,0.0
11646,getting what you think will make you happy and still feeling empty its like theyre stuck in a vicious cycle of telling yourself once this happensi have this ill be content some time later you realize that you have said thing person accomplishment in your life and yet still feel empty and unfulfilledthis happens to me all the time and it makes me wonder if i end up having the life ive always dreamed of will i still be unhappy will my brain chemistry and who i am as a person always leave me feeling alone and empty,3.0
11647,lol  each time i pass over this code i find new pieces to cut amp rewrite for less code more functionality ,0.0
11648,falling asleep to some neighbors having an acoustic jam sesh i have mad love for boulder ,0.0
11649,of course teddys filthy on our way back from the doggy park ,0.0
11650,julion  you douche,2.0
11651,i had to put my dog down today im extremely sad but also its the first time i felt an overwhelming amount of emotions i thought i was incapable of feeling anything anymore but as soon as i walked in to the vets i broke down and sobbed like a little kid i really want to take this opportunity to move forward knowing that i still have emotions inside me and can still feel dogs are amazing and i want to thank my buddy for giving me one last gift before he left,3.0
11652,for thousands of years people still dont really understand the fundamentals of creating the perfect dish of mac and cheese so sad,0.0
11653,watchin daisy of lovepure blissthat is until i hit my tooth on my cup ahh distractions ,0.0
11654,so im helping out my bud snobscrilla help him get to  followers yew ,0.0
11655,gothvader yeah that will work  im so excited thank you so much xd,0.0
11656,is at work ,2.0
11657,i touched four different projects today i have a headache ,2.0
11658,rt gshowitt inhabitant ally machine is joyous to announce the release of justified anxiety a free  dystopian rpg httpstcobhf,0.0
11659,such a great song why not more choices for it  ♫ ,2.0
11660,peterfacinelli the youtube video re bet is no longer up  would love to know more,2.0
11661,working on the new mind erase this official webpage  looking good,0.0
11662,redduskperth  not much   fingers crossed though,2.0
11663, i heard about the heating pad not the oil drops thanks for the hel ,0.0
11664,ride bmx on the beach in burgas after careoke night ,0.0
11665,bykatherine damn where is it ,2.0
11666,im a bad girlfriend  but mike amp i talked so i think everything is okay now but still i feel bad ,2.0
11667,a classical lesson on friendship one day youre sharing publicity on coins with your bff the next youre committi httpstcoixhafubftl,0.0
11668,good morning everyone ,0.0
11669,i make people happy i have friends and all and i have people who care about me and all and they tell me that i make them happy but i always think what happens when the day comes that i dont make them happy anymore ill have lost everyone i care about everyone who makes me feel like i matter everyone who i love making happy itll all just be down the drain and itll be gone ive been through a lot the past two years with a lot of unexpected stuff happening and i genuinely feel like ive fallen into a cycle of im good for a few weeks and i have a spark of hope and then it goes to shit again for a few months at a time and ive lost all hope sometimes i wish it could just always be shit so that way i wouldnt get my hopes up when im happy but i guess i know ill get worse again and part of me just hopes ill get better and stay better i dont really look forward to things anymore ive gotten quiet and i dont really go out as much as i used to i feel like im in a really really vulnerable place recently,3.0
11670,really wishes money grew on trees ,2.0
11671,i laughed myself to sleep oh did someone say sleep early night plz ,0.0
11672,my gf and i were on a break for a month now the month is up and now shes not talking to me its killing me inside my girlfriend and i decided to take a break about a month ago id say it was mutual but it was more her idea than mine we decided to not talk or contact each other for a month the first  weeks were hard i thought about killing myself pretty much every day for those  weeks i just didnt want to feel that way anymore the pain and anguish going on inside my head after two weeks i started to come out of it and put my mind into something productive and positive so i started running and doing exercise to give me something to focus on which worked now that the month is up and im trying to get in contact with her she wont respond to my texts or calls and im feeling like im right back at square one again after she originally said she didnt want to cause me any pain or  put me in a bad place mentally after ive come so far  ive been through some stuff over the past few years and she knows what ive dealt with i feel lost and like my life is falling apart all over again and dont know what to do ,3.0
11673,tummy ache in class ,2.0
11674,alimoongarden hello yes i received your payment thank you so much  ill sort your order out tomorrow when i return to the shop  x,0.0
11675,taken strides today just finished cleaning my room i vacuumed and wiped down my surfaces all my clothes are in the washer as well and a scented candle is going my room smells good it makes me feel good to look at it my depression has made it very hard to do anything ever so this little step feels huge,3.0
11676,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
11677,nandeb rainbows in pirate pants ,0.0
11678,feliciaday  you deserve it  now go knock yourself out  ,0.0
11679,i feel like trash i dont know why but i strongly believe that theres something i didam doing wrong that without me knowing im an asshole to everyone everyone i know seems to hate me in a sense that they always want me to end the conversation and go away but when they turn away to someone else i can see a lively look on their faces i feel unwanted i speak softly and with a sympathic tone i smile a lot i laugh when they tell jokes i always try to listen to them when they talk though i often misunderstood them i say please and thank you at every opportunity to everyone without exceptioni work for a small company and even within a small work group of  people i still feel like im the odd one outand that everyone feels like its better if im not there everyone talks to me like im a piece of trash im the very first employee among the others worked here the longest im always the first to show up and last to leave sometimes i even do my job at home so i can do something else tomorrow morning im always willing to help though i dont always do due to a massive workloadi also think i have a social anxiety i dont dare to have myself checked for financial reason this is probably why i dont have that many friends for a  year old man but i do enjoy companionshipi currently have  friends outside of work i only meet them once a week tops one of them is an online friend im currently working to support a family of  im not married i dont want to talk to anyone of them because itll worry them if they know what im feelingi believe that the saying that goes if everywhere it smells like shit check your shoes holds some truth to some degree but i dont know what im doing wrong ive always made a conscious effort to be considerate towards others yet they still treat me like lint in their pocket i want to improve myself but i dont know where to beginthanks for reading through my rant,3.0
11680,yeah miley had won an award  ,0.0
11681,inluvwithjon lol yah we dont need you orange for tinley  you are lucky that you are able to tan it sucks being as pale as we are ,0.0
11682, hehe we have the same taste in music  i love koit,0.0
11683,choley oh no what happened ,2.0
11684,new problemi ate all the chocolates i want out of my russell stovers boxvermont nut cream fruit amp nut caramel amp maple nut cream ,2.0
11685,thecitysnapshot nothing what r u up  ,0.0
11686,igirlypimp blushes you are awesome princess ,0.0
11687,what do you do when all you feel now is nothing i just feel empty theres nothing to me anymore i thought this feeling would go away but its just getting worse im at the point where i cannot motivate to do anything im void of emotion and just dont feel anything but numb what happens now where do i go from here is there any point to this ,3.0
11688,coughing like crazywanna sleeptiredbut the cough is really annoying ,2.0
11689,i have an interveiw for maccas on tuesday going back to that shithole will kill me i hated it the first time i quit ,2.0
11690,is relaxing on the couch sundays are the best ,0.0
11691,ddlovato i will definitive vote for you ,0.0
11692,i miss my baby ,2.0
11693,i hate mondays just got done cooking dinner  so tired after helping family with their roof still not done same old me,2.0
11694,thecubs cubbies at an even  so what else is new  no matter beat dem bums chicago baseball,2.0
11695,lidewij yes i had no idea as well until i started reading the hp article on wikipedia earlier ,0.0
11696,mikeyway   i just stared this mother fucker down for ten mintues i lost the staring contest  yup i have a ,2.0
11697,getyourchick thank you i will do so  thx for reading my tweets xoxo,0.0
11698,im thinking of self harm and running away ive not had a good week recently and i have thoughts of running away because it feels useless living in a home where i dont get along with my father or sisters  and feeling guilt lately i just get the idea that if i runaway theyll be glad i did right now ive been sobbing throughout the night as of now im having thoughts about cutting myself,3.0
11699, for the first time i missed jay z tho ,2.0
11700,awww laying in my nice n comfy king bed its kinda lonely when hes not in it ,2.0
11701,theyre going to make me a bartender ,0.0
11702,feeling fake i want to seek help but i feel like i will only be seen as an attention seeker whos making excuses for just being an absolute shit person,3.0
11703,tizzysizzleberg emalea damn i knew he was in   but i looooooved him playing,2.0
11704,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
11705,help please banned and removed from fb group injustly hi alli am part of a large bunch of doll groups online and just the other day i was blocked for no valid reason from one that group was one id discuss kindly dolls and i never wrote nor post anything conversial or negative in fact i post positive things turns out an admin thats also in lots of other dolls groups i am in removed me and when someone asked why stating it was discriminatory she said cause i violated group rules then blocked them from the group too quick fact the group has no rules file nor post i composed a kind message and sent it to her asking why i was blocked and if we could just move on but she hasnt opened it yet and i think shell just block me when she gets the message ive told other users online from which one tried messaging her about it and she isnt responding another person said to her where are your group rules abd she apparently replied whats the urgency what would you do in my position im scared this will lead to bullyingi feel awful too cause i shared my depression stories there  yrs ago and it was the only place i felt acceptedi feel sick to my stomach,3.0
11706,feeling lethargic  been up for a total for  hours and  minutes,2.0
11707, i have seen both seasons of the noahs arc show i love those characters especially noah and wade  ,0.0
11708,fifth time rafting and i didnt fall out ,0.0
11709,well i had a blast  got to ride on a bunch of rides it was exciting but i hurt my pooor little toe  ahh well life goes on okay,2.0
11710,salandpepper darker hair we like novelty straws  makes us happy as did the many drinks at the time,0.0
11711,mellomatic  oh wait i mean ,2.0
11712,drnormal really really simple for nonmobile there is mixero  you can filter out results if you can figure out the correct syntax ,0.0
11713,i was rollin up prince ave heard all the sirens looked over and saw lots of smoke ,2.0
11714,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
11715,going to read into thin air then sleep and most likely be woken up very early by my cousin goodnightttt ,0.0
11716,whats the point i cant even stay awake for more than  hours my prozac puts me in a haze and apparently according to a genetic test i have an inherited hypersensitivity to it im going to talk to the doctors about that fact but for what theyll put me on another ssri to keep me nice and stupidi cant work i know im probably dying due to an undiagnosed heart condition or at least something that fucks with the rhythm the only time i was on an actual wearable monitor they fucked it up and only got  readings when it was supposed to take a reading every hour or whenever i pressed the button for two weeksand my frustration and my illness brings down the few who are even tolerant of me anymore i find to be genuinely hard not to faint when i even move and they want me to hold up the world for them im no superman im not god people dont seem to realize that there is no change in thought process that can help me with my illness or my depression thats not how humans work every dream ive had the two years since graduation is set in school as much as i hated it it was far easier than all the responsibilities i am still not ready for due to the very fact that i refused to call the few friends i had anything more than acquaintances i am alone theres nobody left save for my father my mother and my brother none of which need me one of which is even going through with a plan to replace me understandable i dont feel happiness or joy unless its superficial and caused by trivial bullshit who wants that to be their legacyheres the thing im not afraid of death not the process anyway the thing that keeps me around is that im afraid of what happens after be it hell or nonexistence its an eternity of either and it scares the fuck out of me and if i tell my psychiatrist shell have me admitted because its easier not for my safety not for my benefit they have a strict protocol of sedate or incarcerate around here and the moment i mention any suicidal thoughts shell do just that im not sure they dont have a system set up so theyre watching me right nowwhy continue it clearly wont get better theres a good chance i might die anyway theres nowhere left to turn it seems im tired all i do is sleep anymore that and pretend like people find me funnyenjoyable on reddit theres no pointwhy continue playing the game when the power is out,3.0
11717,laughteriskey awww that is sooo cute make sure u hide it all well cause vip is strict good luck ,0.0
11718,coming down with a cold  iwish i wasnt,2.0
11719,ceetee looks like you got teeth that fit into the void of my pack of  ,0.0
11720,wooooo weather advisory in denver might have to land in colorado springs love travel delays ,0.0
11721,mojobotabo lmao shut up  im addicted,2.0
11722,got a package in the mail nine west heech ,0.0
11723,i really think the key to getting out of depression is working towards an insane goal i was ready to kill myself a couple months ago but i decided to try and go after one of my childhood dreams coast guard rescue swimmer even though i could barely swim from one end of the pool to the other and a couple months later ive made really good progress and it might even be possible and it just feels really good im still basically alone and have no friends and my ex still doesnt want anything to do with me but when im working towards this goal idc its liberating maybe its the exercise but i think its more the sense of direction and purpose chase your dreams you wont regret it even if you fail,3.0
11724,vnw thanks boo i will ,0.0
11725, can you play ball tomorrow  in central park i told them youre good enough to replace a dude  we have extra gloves,0.0
11726,amiemccarron friends of ours came over from the uk with their rare white alsation it got into the neighbours field and a cop shot it ,2.0
11727, idk its like the moment i get home i just feel ridiculously depressed had a good arvo but the moment i got home  ,2.0
11728,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
11729,feel pathetic i feel pathetic ill be  in a few months and ive never had a relationship or a job and the only time ive ever even been remotely intimate with someone was nearly  years ago ill be graduating in december and will have gone through college without having made friends or had a relationship i dont even know what i would do to alleviate the problem i dont have any friends and online dating has failed completely ive tried them all looked through all the people in a  mile radius and didnt get a single like back ive tried to go to therapy about it before but it doesnt help going to see someone for an hour every two weeks doesnt do anything i just feel like my whole life is passing me by,3.0
11730,i will take this httpbitlyiufbu  with a side of beach  or outdoor pool,0.0
11731,lukecollier tell me about it  and the match didnt look much cop did you speak to mum in the end,0.0
11732,feels acomplished did  sections of math homework and wrote her  page theatre paper  yay ,0.0
11733,follow the game plan  steps to online income  in  hrs plus go on to make monthly residual income too easy  ,0.0
11734,no one just no one cares no friends no girlfriend no texts or calls ill be adamantly disliked for random or superficial reasons the moment i get into any social setting creepy weird whatever i wish i could kill myself sometimes but i still hold out some hope,3.0
11735,sleeping in a tent with shelby and i just swallowed a bug  yuck,2.0
11736,what is the difference between having depression and true laziness i am clinically dx with a host of mental health issues and also medical issuesthere have been complaints about a recent roommate due to losing financial stability to continue having their own homeapartment being a good friend we allowed to let said person stay with us to get on their feet they made multiple promises to help out in the meantime and promised it wont be too longcomplaints from others have been rolling in recently i am considered the head of the household but im a timid person by nature and afraid of conflict it has been quite a few months this roommate has lived here perhaps warning signs should have been when new roommates family doesnt want them to move with them however i deem that to be wrong and like to help peopleanyways these have been the complaintsno effort in helping out around the house also no help with caring for their animals we hate to see an animal without necessities so we end up taking care of their pet no clean up after their pet eitherwe are also allowing them to borrow a vehicle to get back and foreword to their job however they use it to go out a lot and waking us up wanting to come in the middle of the nightwhen at the house they just stay in their room playing video games or sleeping all daya refusal to apply to better paying jobsanother roommate noticed one of our animals is very timid around them they stated to other roommate that our animal is probably scared of them because of hitting themthe last one is the last straw for others for obvious reasons i feel the sense of a time bomb coming on if another negative behavior appears from the personi am not sure how to handle the issue this person is a friend of a different roommate im thinking of discussing with other roommate since it is their friend we allowed to move inalso i am having internal conflict because i have been deemed lazy at times due to depression and chronic pain so i am not sure if their behavior is due to depression or its their personality it took a long time to improve with treatment but i tend to put a lot a force to get responsibilities completed i know everyone is different in terms of depression and general lifei am afraid of conflict in the sense of the trauma from my lifetime so i am afraid of intense reactions from a person when pointing out negative behaviors i am afraid of other roommates pointing it out too and causing a big mess especially if they do have an underlying issue i dont want them to end up having selfharm or suicidal behaviors my personal experienceim obviously overanalyzing the situation to a point of anxiety i come here for a third party opinion of the situation i am not sure how to handle this i am a laidback person but we need to find a way of peace in the householdprobably not the sub to post this but i am not surei have a tendency to get ran over by others because of hurting feelings i have gotten somewhat better in this aspect but its still there,3.0
11737,moutaineer i waz talkn to justin thank u very much  that hurt,2.0
11738,everything has caught up to me and i just want to give up sorry for the incessant babbling i  had the worst mental breakdown last night that ive had in years everyday is a constant struggle for me with anxiety and depression when i was  i lost my dad to suicide  months after losing my dad we lost our house in a flood and had to start from scratch my mum brother and sister all lost the plot and i was the only one trying to keep them together while trying to deal with life as a teenager and the fact i no longer had my dad around and couldnt understand why he left us my mum and brother were drinking almost daily my sister was with someone twice her age and he was batshit crazy and would stalk her and control her life and even broke into our house to take some of her stuff my mum kicked my sister out and moved her to other members of the family due to how out of control she was which upset me to my core because not once did my mum try to deal with it in an appropriate manner my brother would drink himself silly and go ballistic and take it out on mum as he blames her for dads death i got in the middle of them on new years eve just months after dads death to protect mum my brothers partner at the time called the cops on him and the cops took him away i was dating someone who gaslighted me for  and a half years and i never left because i thought it was the best i could do i thought he loved me and didnt know any better so i thought it is what it is and one day it will get better he then left me for his best mates girl i lost my nanna who was my absolute pride and joy when i was  which fucking broke me she was my rock she loved me unconditionally and was always there when i needed her as no one else was around she saved money from her pension to help me get my licence so i could get myself too and from work she loved me driving her around in my car she looked at me with such love and the love i feel for her was nothing you could imagine and which no words would ever describe late last year i lost my pop dads dad to lung cancer and he was only in his s then only months later pops wife died the exact same way i left my job in october due to extreme mental health issues and havent worked since and havent been able to land a job anywhere despite my relentless applying for any job imaginable i recently broke up with my partner for his drug use and constant lying i was with him for  years and wish i left earlier so i wouldnt be as damaged from the constant hurt and here i am now telling strangers on the internet my life story in the hopes that telling someone makes me feel somewhat better and makes me hate my life just a little less i feel like everything is finally catching up with me and im drowning i just want to give up but i know that if i did give up it would hurt my family all over again like it did when my dad left i seek counselling but i dont feel any relief or any better and have even considered admitting myself into a psychiatric ward i sit and think of how scared i am that this feeling may be how i feel for the rest of my life i am scared that nobody will love me and hold me if they knew the truth and whats going on inside im worried i will never find a man who loves me and cares for me like i would them im sad that my father will never see me walk down the isle or make a life for myself and wont be able to give me a hug or tell me he loves me ever again i just want to run away from everything and stop feeling the way i do i want to find something that will just numb the pain even for a minute no matter what it is i dont know anymore my life just isnt what i imagined it would be and i feel like a failure tdlr my life has been a constant battle and i just want to give up and stop feeling this constant pain ,3.0
11739,oreowolf morning ,0.0
11740,why relationships have to be so stressful i have no idea its times like these that i miss being a little kid no relationships ugh ,2.0
11741,michellembelle so great super awesome night ,0.0
11742,i had a good time tonight it was fun lots of random old ladies hitting on me cute ones toowhat can i say im a babe magnet ,0.0
11743,kalzixoxo diasporicblues najmaaaay this is not true sis before you take your own opinions do research and real ,1.0
11744,im a stupid fucking idiot nothing can change my mind,3.0
11745,thedebbyryan im trying to call youbut it keeps staying busy ,2.0
11746,liveforfilms ooh doesnt do the story justice cant wait to see it  ty again for the link,0.0
11747,ah fucking shit left my vaseline at work  my poor lips are gonna be cracked to fuck by tomorrow,2.0
11748,rt wiredjp 植木鉢と合体させれば、水槽がメンテナンスいらずに？  米スタートアップが開発した小型の自浄式水槽  ＜アーカイヴ記事＞  httpstcohubrmlhozi,0.0
11749,waiting for breana and grandma to come pick up my dukers ,2.0
11750,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
11751,sharbadazz whats up soror ,0.0
11752,draven i wish my tv watching was as entertaining ,2.0
11753,rt saammyyyxx im getting so used to everything its sad,2.0
11754,and some interesting friends as well ,0.0
11755,johnnichols you were not this morning was awesome ,0.0
11756,cant be bothered with coursework  grrrrrrr,2.0
11757,herojaejoong oppa my daddy have to work far  years i will miss him so much what can i do now ,2.0
11758,trying to have a best job ,0.0
11759,back at work   ,2.0
11760,think channel  r bein stupid making us wait for no fukn reason again looked like a repeat ,2.0
11761,optimuscupcake  sound like a plan to me  i may go in search of noodles for lunch xd,0.0
11762,just a little ramble i guess so ive been dealing with depression and anxiety since like   and all through high school as the class clown and nobody really paid mind whenever id bring up anything about how i was feeling and then i went off to college and completely broke down i spent a year barely eating never left the room because id just be wigging out the only time id make contact with people was when id eat a xanax and then i dropped out and started pushing everyone away from me i have no confidence in my self my very existence feels like a joke  but like here i am alone because i pushed my friends away from me this probably doesnt make sense so im just going to let it ride,3.0
11763,absolutelyfuzzy same here which is why im taking extra effort to go somewhere this weekend but its just too cold to go anywhere now ,2.0
11764,hellonhairylegs mmm i know theres great division of opinion i think its fascinating and an incisive critique ,0.0
11765,darrylwg no just swatting a moonbat sumthin to do while i finish my tea ,0.0
11766,its been two years since i made it an entire semester without failing a class and a year and a half since i havent had to withdraw completely for those of you who made it through college with depression or are making it through how do you do it this semester im taking easy classes and i know im capable of passing them all easily but i cant i cant get up in the morning i cant complete the assignments no matter how motivated i feel or how hard im pushed it just doesnt happen i should probably add i also have anxiety and adhd and have been struggling with it for about  years now i feel like such a disappointment but i dont know how to get through this funk im in im constantly severely dissociated exhausted and distracted any advice to get me through this would be so so appreciated this is my last chance if i dont pass all of my classes this semester ill get kicked out of university and i wont be able to get a degree im on my third university already and am living with my mother who doesnt understand mental illness i need to know how other people in similar states of mental illness get through this ,3.0
11767,it gets better  i dont put faith in the idea that it gets better for one particular reason this minute i dont feel too emotionally unstable i feel almost like what i imagine myself to be like at least what i thought i was in the past but i get really really bad flare ups i personally consider them very dangerous when i can no longer cope with stressors my mood shoots so low i can get fairly suicidal or at least being flushed non stop with those thoughtsmy flare ups arent so bad now my biggest trouble is making sure i dont self harm during them which is a whole rotten mess tooi guess what im trying to say is there is no it gets better there will likely be it gets better for now however long that trajectory is thats a comfort in itself my flare ups are in longer intervals the severity decreases and hell there are things that i will always carry with me the morose feeling i get when self harm and suicide come up and some scars but i guess i cant complain too muchif you read this thank you ,3.0
11768,cant find my friends ,2.0
11769, oh reaali  well im sure you can either sell it or give i awawy,2.0
11770,checked my tires gauges today and put air in made a chard and potato cassarole yum no knitting  ,2.0
11771,time to play some halo yes at  ,0.0
11772,usquotehunter i dont know if youre a real person or not but thanks for the follow ,0.0
11773,yay jimeison is commin over ,0.0
11774,skfpr and people write email instead of email too  i say we get everyone stylebooks and make them use them ,0.0
11775,arsenalsarah haha noooooo ive got great taste in that sense its more exes are my problem at the min ,2.0
11776,si no puedo recordarte por completo entonces déjame una parte de ti que no pueda recordar 🎶🎵🎶🎧ikon sad ,1.0
11777,depression left me with a bad self image no personality took away my talking skills and made me afraid of talking to girls i have overcome it half a year ago but im still left with these problems is this just me,3.0
11778,hi modcloth a sundress for tomorrow and studio painting clothes for sunday  love your goodies xoxo patti ff great clothes,0.0
11779,my thoughts are coming out jumbled  maybe its time for bed  but i dont want to go   night night twitter tweeps,2.0
11780,martybtv aww thanx  morning i couldnt even sleep in today  i have rehersal for a show im modeling in and fittin wit a designer,2.0
11781,jimmyfallon the air drummer from buffalo disgraced our city    what a spaz  i am delighted to hear you refer to it us as blo though,2.0
11782,just watched drag me to hell amp it was the first time i was actually scared  haha,2.0
11783,waiting for harpers island to  ,2.0
11784,juldea next year at chiron beta prime ,0.0
11785, yes i have i have to thank nikicheong for putting me there ,0.0
11786,mfhorne mark thomas probably does ,0.0
11787,feel really worried right now  ughhh,2.0
11788,had my studio taken over by some bloody musicians that leaves me stuck in the office ,2.0
11789,matthewcornish aww ,2.0
11790,alexiscarloss yah but he cudnt make itso he sent someone else ,0.0
11791,tippielove i totally agree those are all the things i should be doing anyway but like you said when your stressed its no help  thanks x,2.0
11792,ianne im at the terrance middle by the left side center i see u ,0.0
11793,bukolae if its all thats on offer then they are going to sell ,2.0
11794,thanks  still getting the hang of it tho ,0.0
11795,is a little unsure what to make of tsalvation not as bad as i feared it would be with mcg at the helm but not great either ,2.0
11796,ginoboi and please greet my friend rhemar encencio whos celebrating his bday todayill check your blog amp resend my contest entry later ,0.0
11797,i feel like im losing myself ive lost my passion for music and for photographyi dont enjoy food anymore i just eat for sustenanceim bored of almost everything i domy neutral or happy moments are becoming less and lessit seems like no amount of change can fix thiswhat can i do,3.0
11798,lisarinna i used  t of stevia in it ill have to add soy milk next time thanks for the suggestion loved your book very positive ,0.0
11799,dscorrado daniellitis im sorry its sooo fake  its killing my intellect i feel dumber just by watching it,2.0
11800,chrisdowling british internet girl thats me  xx,0.0
11801,rt rodrigodalboune let today be today without the weight of yesterday nor the anxiety of tomorrow good morning friends 🌹 httpst,1.0
11802,andreatufo well well pda on twitter  lol  love you too babe,0.0
11803,thoughts are with those on the air france plane thats gone missing ,2.0
11804,foxdream im doing excellent sorry you have a toothache  cavity,2.0
11805,robpattznews finally thanks ,0.0
11806,i dont want to leave my house anymore wish i could just starve to death already ,3.0
11807,loving  ways to find a lover the more i get into it a laugh out loud book highly reccomended ,0.0
11808,the post i didnt discard ive tried making a post a few times now but just keep discarding them cause it seems like who cares you know and it isnt as if it matters to anyone anyway its like nothing really i want this to be a cool good post that generates so much karma thatit doesnt matter cause karma doesnt do anything for me or anyone else i had a hard time today i can just hardly take it at work lately i was on the verge of tears for a good  to  minutes before i finally broke down my fiancé heard me though which is embarrassing cause i didnt realize she was in the other room so she came in to give me a hug idk im getting paranoid thinking about how if you were able to read thoughts or somehow knew how my day went that youd be able to pin point me and my exact location and identify who i am and youd know and i just dont want that i might be more than depressed or is it then am i actually an idiot i wrote some stuff out and deleted it about how i cant comprehend how dumb i actually am i guess ill end my post ill probably delete it someday due to the fear of being found out,3.0
11809,up was sooo gooooood wood ranch bbq time dian deng pao ,2.0
11810,djwhiteboyyy whats up not much just listening to music  im in tx,0.0
11811,heybonnie exactly ,0.0
11812,sexychi  well alrighty then lol i aint even got  ask how ur day is going i jus hope it gets better ,0.0
11813,fun day out at the botanic gardens playing with the camera now setting up for some diablo ii ,0.0
11814,is going to hate today ,2.0
11815,might go visit some ghosts at the video shoot going to have a nice catch up with chloe and going back to work great ,0.0
11816,stylistbrighton im looking forward to coffee in the morn ,0.0
11817,rt friendstagram saying im tired  when youre actually sad,2.0
11818,cant believe shes home sick amp not seeing johnny depp amp christian bale tonight   so bummed,2.0
11819, lmao drunktweet time already im still at work   nrstylertexas said it was thirstythursday this morninghmmmm  ,2.0
11820,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
11821,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
11822,the boss is back in town ,2.0
11823,coasterfanbase thank you ,0.0
11824,toriilovesmcfly ha at least you can go ,2.0
11825,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
11826,wishes his lovely a very happy birthday today ,0.0
11827,gruvenreuven oooh you reminded me gonna try to get fiddler tickets in june topol is playing tevye again  at pantages theatre ,0.0
11828,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
11829,i dont trust anyone its sad asf tbh😴,1.0
11830,marcomendozab sad jajaj,2.0
11831,  i would offer you a temple rub and some aleve but we are in different time zones,2.0
11832,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
11833,someone talk to me i just want someone to talk with  one so tired of live and lonely,3.0
11834,i dont know if im depressed because of my anxiety i keep feeling really down and just cut myself off from the world so i tell myself what if im depressed should i tell my friends or family but what if they think im doing it for attention what if i am doing it for attention and dont even know it i dont deserve treatment because that waste of a doctors time could be used to help someone who is actually depressed because what if im doing for attention but i keep feeling really down and detached from reality and my friends,3.0
11835,jessicannamaria aaaw feel better is it from the coffee i did  bunny rabbits miniature golf ,0.0
11836,rt viewfrome liberals like goodalle lie so they dont lose votes plain and simple this is the reason they lie they want to keep thei,1.0
11837,cant sleep i feel betrayed  gaaaahh i am too young  this,2.0
11838,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
11839,chasters let us start following each other amp follow anyone who twts for charice    twit twit twit,0.0
11840,that book was not supposed to end that way ,2.0
11841,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
11842,is it national drop your dog off on the highway day ive seen  so far ,2.0
11843,mrsredboots very much so  thanks for the sympathy and good wishes  hope youre having a lovely sunday,0.0
11844,braces come off in  days ,0.0
11845,im gonna shower ,0.0
11846,fuck this bullshit enough is enough sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life tiptoe if you must but take a step  i know its whole hell of a lot easier said than done but fight back today against this horrible illness im sick of getting kicked in the teeth by my depression everyday arent you life definitely isnt all sunshine and rainbows but theres gotta be at least one thing or two that you still enjoy in this world even if it seems impossible to find the strength to get up and do it most days do it prove to yourself that theres still some happiness to be found in this life if you just do a little searching for ityour recovery starts today no more putting it off for month after month like i have wherever you find some hope tell us about it i could use some positivity and inspiration in my life and i know im not alone,3.0
11847,sinus headachepressure  fail ,2.0
11848, thats cool  good luck with it  ,0.0
11849,showerguys  i shall report on banff an hour north o aberdeen when i get into the car see what the temp says  but its hot,0.0
11850,hoping to get converse double tongues for my birthday  cant believe its so soon,0.0
11851,wooohoooo camping this weekend ,0.0
11852,xikuchie quotschools cool my dear friend you gotta looove itquot ,0.0
11853,crintzs hey there im writing online   chh per week so i cant get block  does mean some of its rubbish though ,0.0
11854,atlgreekpicnic right amp u know some ol skool is going to break out a sweater lol ,0.0
11855,i have to go to the dentist today  that is torture,2.0
11856,looks like im going to have a permanent scar from baileys scissor stab ,2.0
11857,maximumswearing yes  but a great mind escape,0.0
11858,all alone on a friday night again ,2.0
11859,i have a extreme yearning to be with someone but it will never happen i have painful dreams of finding someone to be with to laugh with to spend time with to love when dreaming life is amazing because someone  cares about me and sees me ive never tried dating apps because i dont like that concept plus it gives me too much anxiety and pressurei also dont have any friends never had one since birth never will autistic as a kid still autistic but im improved im a little chubby im short and i have anxiety in crowdedpublic places to it is difficult for me to meet people even with the people i meet i have never found a friend mostly because of my appearance and autistic behaviors but also because of my anxiety and antisocial tendenciesi have no one no one loves me i dont have anyone to love i am yearning to find a lover as i am also yearning to find a friend i just feel like whats the point living if i dont have someone to be intimate with and if i dont have friends i can count on share experiences with and basically just be withi want to die and this is just a part of it there is also the ptsd aspect severe ocd aspect anxiety aspect and societal unacceptance aspect to my depression and suicidal thoughts but the loneliness is the one that gets me the most,3.0
11860,lilyroseallen yesthere are many cool things americans cannot watch   ,2.0
11861,mashngravy fibgers and toes crossed ,0.0
11862,bing  but its not google ,0.0
11863,im not going to kill myself but i know im not making it in  i cant stop posting about my shit here ive lost everyone who actually knew me and i cant stop being depressed i cant say im suicidal nor have suicidal thoughts because i dont want to get sectioned its unfortunate that i have to lie but i know my fate everyone is getting married having kids getting their careers finding peaceim still not over my dads death nor the fact i got used or the fact i was manipulated but hey it was all me i read the self help books and i know its my fault again i cant kill myself but if i could it would be for that reason im not suicidal nor do i want to die but i cant get out of this downward spiral i know theres no hope no cure depression is situationally brought on i wasnt always this way but circumstances have brought me here im not making sense since im just writing off the top of my head so ill stop now i have tried to change based off of what my influencers tell me off of what my therapist tells me of what society tells meand ive accepted im doomed,3.0
11864,simonhill damn i was too late ,2.0
11865,so ridiculously jealous of kristen stewart ,2.0
11866,lissykuri i liked the movie you should red box it if you can ,0.0
11867,its real sad girl hours rn,1.0
11868,kalief browders story is a very sad one,2.0
11869,maybe everyone was right lilo will never bounce back ,2.0
11870,really bored youtube here i come ,0.0
11871,my first thought when i opened my eyes  omg i forgot teacher gifts first time ever in  years of lg in school completely forgot  ,2.0
11872,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
11873,linkin park  what ive done live in metz france is amazing fuckin cool ,0.0
11874,supposed to driving to sea island for annual henderson beach trip  sad day,2.0
11875,going to my first free comic day event later with my mother whos decided to tag along ,0.0
11876,feeling awful you know when people say  you cant be depressed you have a girlfriend i hate that sentence in one way i want to believe she really cares about me and really loves me but on the other side i cant stop thinking that she just feels bad for me or if she really cares about me that she doesnt deserve me because i am not a great company but im happy when de are together its just an awful feeling when you think you arent enough for your loved one and that she could en should find someone better than yourselfif anyone reads it thanks for the support ,3.0
11877,had a great weekend ,0.0
11878,crikey my blog has jumped to  on google uk ill never understand google but im pleased ,0.0
11879,myfashionfrenzy thank you ,0.0
11880,sleepy been up since one in the morning yesterday ,2.0
11881,gresco yeah i tried a few times amp never got past page     httpowlyeglm,2.0
11882,shitfuckdamn hug welcome to real life mamut  ,2.0
11883,do you know whats really fun about bipolar disorder the crippling depression that comes out of nowhere,2.0
11884,babyyylean winemommm httpstcoknuwzggvon,2.0
11885, yeah lol where are you from ,0.0
11886,no motivation i am currently a student and dreading all of this summer homework that i should have started over a month ago i now have less than three weeks until school starts again and i havent began any of the workall i need to do is get started and with the personal issues that ive had recently my family is too busy to notice how im even more depressed more than usualive stopped doing basic tasks such as making my bed or taking showers i dont want to do anything i have begun to start losing weight and i feel unhealthyany advice is appreciated keep in mind im on mobile so i apologize for the formatting,3.0
11887,just bc you graduate and move away no matter how far feelings still follow but that doesnt mean i wont try to outrun them ,0.0
11888,scotmendenhall  it was awesome like always im going  rush  week  ,0.0
11889,jamieharrington i just hit  im just small time round these parts ,0.0
11890, more days oh my dang ,0.0
11891,mathguide wow thats  century tutoring   how in the world did you find someone to tutor in florida,0.0
11892,quotgive me a reason to smile because i think i forgot howquot  meiko ,2.0
11893,i just feel empty and lost and lonely without nobody to turn to ive hit an all time low in the past  months now all my life ive dealt with depression and anxiety never have i been as suicidal as confused and lost as i have been these past couple of months i feel so empty half of the time its like i feel sad angry hurt lonely and just all around fucked up but its so hard to cry or let put any of those emotions so i just sit there with this wandering feeling like im searching for something im longing for something but i dont know where to go i have nobody to talk to i just basically lost this friend i had she is also an ex but we still have been cool with each other up until last night when we had a disagreement and now shes said shes done talking to me despite me telling her how much she means to me and how shes the only one true close person i got in my life right now so its just to a point where im feeling sooooo much and i have nothing to help no one cares to talk to me everyone leaves me in the dark without a hint of consideration i try talking to my mom about stuff i go through but its like im talking to nobody because she doesnt give any advice or words of encouragement half the time she doesnt know how to approach me i tried talking to her about me cutting or trying to at least and she literally agreed that physical pain helps with mental stuff bcuz she remembers burning a tattoo off her skin and the pain of it helped clear her thoughts i would of thought shed be concerned but nope not really she always seems more concerned and distraught over my grown  sum year old meth addicted sister it just hurts to know i dont really have anybody i go through everyday feeling completely alone like nobody likes me or cares about me enough to just give me the time of day ive lost interests in things i used to love almost nothing i do now can help me feel a sense of relief a sense of happiness and joy talking to my ex helped bcuz we laugh and joke around and have a connection but it seems like thats over with now i got nobody,3.0
11894,katmcgraw lol  thanks i needed that  ,0.0
11895,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
11896,sinskylar weekdays are difficult days ,2.0
11897,ooooh other inspiring thingy your video platform bliptv httpisgdqaij here  some cooking variation on puff pastry snacks ,0.0
11898,cephikun youre supposed to add all your folloers like a pyramid game ,0.0
11899,craigsbeardwax it goes from curly to straight to wavy so its easy to change from day to day depends on the mood ,0.0
11900,my depression is particularly bad today first day back to college my last semester i see a girl in my art class that looks absolutely beautiful eventually theres small talk nothing major i realize that i actually like this girl alot  years since last relationshipany interest in another girl while helping others i overhear her talking about her boyfriend and the instant feeling of back to lonerism kicks in kinda just depressed i got my hopes up that maybe she would be single and i could continue to talk to her to get to know her since its been  years since ive felt this way seems like everyone has a relationship nowadays and its extremely hard to find someone single maybe its not the right time to be lookingto alot of people this is probably stupid and its no reason to be depressed but it kinda just happens  brings back memories amp reminds me of how pathetic i am this post is pointless i guess just me venting about stuff that doesnt mattertldr beautiful girl triggers loner into depression without even interacting,3.0
11901,celinetek its really hard to work  i dont like history and geography  ,2.0
11902,rt  dogs are still better lol httpstcoiqnsrljgka,0.0
11903,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs — dr joseph mercola mercola june  ,1.0
11904,rt bipzz depression is real lets support one another and not judge ,0.0
11905,going to see what goju karate is about today  if looks good got another thing to add to my list of pain ,2.0
11906,baconbellyboy and yeah i love the screengrab feature ,0.0
11907,christineknight puppehs are famous it is a cute vid ,0.0
11908,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
11909,rt itsashlyperez today my therapist told me the anxiety im experiencing is called adulthood,2.0
11910,i wanna die i hope someone hits me with a vehicle or i get stabbed walking back home from the bus stop after class,3.0
11911,what a good night  counting my tips for the second time i already forgot shit was crackin,0.0
11912,missamanduhhh i need to up date you too ,2.0
11913,jrel i dont like the cleaning process either but the result just makes me feel sooo happy ,0.0
11914,pool at hollies new apartment ,0.0
11915,jasminezarasani im glad you like it ,0.0
11916,blondieningirl i know it doesnt haha  evil laugh,0.0
11917,no man no phone no trouble   freedom  im loving it ,0.0
11918,sad 💔 ,2.0
11919,about to leave hotel for airport  bye nyc,2.0
11920,nbonsack i think i rode the red line a couple weeks ago while i was in dc its kind of scary to think about that ,2.0
11921,long weekend fail on my way to work ,2.0
11922,tommcfly its okay star wars is epic ,0.0
11923,edaburi going for comic con  hopefully the swine flu scare would have died down by then ,0.0
11924, lol i need too ive actually never been ,2.0
11925,says good evening people  httpplurkcompxmmzt,0.0
11926,i didnt realize until today how close rsd and fibromyalgia are ,2.0
11927,mgiraudofficial yay ill look for you all on larry king show  have a great weekend  ,0.0
11928,katrinster i know it was just an example  before i moved over here i loved greys anatomy  dont watch it anymore though ,2.0
11929,quotis it another voodoo dumplingquot haha i love booth ,0.0
11930,new to reddit and this sub what is your best advice for dealing with long term depression again im new to this sub so i havent looked through it hope you all are doing well,3.0
11931,had a good nite at work for once made over budget on the sad side hes been gone home for a month now ,2.0
11932,dstridsberg   fonts hope that wont affect startup time like on windows ,0.0
11933,why the hell  is an el nino year   everything is burning with the heat including the heads xoxoxoxoxo,2.0
11934,is ready to go back to work tomorrow after having a lot of time off last week lets hope that interview has great results ,0.0
11935,rt  perfect time to relieve some stress 😊hentai anime hentaicommunity ,1.0
11936,rt  while tyler wants to stress how much time scottie spends w brett this week scottie is finding the perfect balance spendin,1.0
11937,i suck at gambling oh well going home now  lol,0.0
11938,xceelou whoa thats weird sherwood is  and aww thats so sad  youll get to see them though dont worry ,2.0
11939,i come from a land down under ,0.0
11940,blastinggg music ,0.0
11941,agh i fail i forgot my wallet amp everything ,2.0
11942,its the exact date my grandmother passed away 😔 its her  death anniversary today this is so sad i just had an ,1.0
11943,gmornin wishishere ,0.0
11944,  oh i like your new pic ,0.0
11945,music sounds so much better when you get brandnew earphones  i feel like im listening to  for the  time  ,0.0
11946,is on crutches ,2.0
11947,amandaisaturd it hurtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ,2.0
11948,no energy to do anything i find that i have no energy to do anything i am somehow able to make it to work everyday but when i get back home i just mentally die and do nothing its not just things that i need to do but i cant really play video games or watch netflix either its just too tiring i dont even understand how watching tv is tiring even if its something ive seen before but it feels like it requires so much energy to watch something i have no idea why and i hate it all i can do is lay in bed and mindlessly scroll on reddit not really sure if theres something i can do to fix it or if someone had any similar issues,3.0
11949, i missed it  where can i watch it online,2.0
11950,raykeogh class nights ,0.0
11951,pixiemaw how long after eating it did you fall off to sleep  i didnt fall toll     but still had a semisexy one,2.0
11952,tankaide wah omg strong hands and arms i can only do  ,2.0
11953, exams on friday too which im gonna failmiserably ,2.0
11954,mememegann yeah ,2.0
11955,rt itsashlyperez today my therapist told me the anxiety im experiencing is called adulthood,2.0
11956,i leave in one week excited but im gunna miss everyone sooo much ,2.0
11957,i hate lastminute doings ,2.0
11958,and i still cant find my remote literally looked everywhere ,2.0
11959,lisarinna  can you only buy your book online or through your store  i looked around town today and couldnt find it ,2.0
11960,nickantonio pardon no guinness i may no longer be motivated to venture to the mound ,2.0
11961,sarahelizabbeth can you tell demi i love her ,2.0
11962,is full of cake  this essay isnt doing itself ,2.0
11963,manmy mum bought me a quotrobert pattinson special magazinequotkind ofembarrassing ,0.0
11964,grr stupid twitter doesnt support animated gif ,2.0
11965,loooong day goin home from cedar point ,0.0
11966,im turning off sms updates to everyone for awhile to see if i can get used to twitterberry ,0.0
11967,thought the car was fixed but guess not fml ,2.0
11968,yvonng haha yvonne just start la write on the points that impacted you jia you ,0.0
11969,i hate writing this kind of stuff over and over again i feel like im back here every month goes to show you how much progress ive madehonestly i hate the fucking world every time i want to do something for my sake and my enjoyment someone either has to comment on how shitty it is or bring something up to ruin my fucking night it feels like i cant rely on anyone my friends or my family not even my best friendno one seems to give a shit about mental illness they either wont acknowledge that its a serious issue or they will but wont go out of their way to understand it so that when the time comes they can help someone close to them or not it feels like its all a big joke to these people the department for my major at school is fucking me over i want to change but it feels like everyone has to make a big deal out of it i feel like i cant talk to any of my friends i have no where else to go im seriously considering just hanging myself as soon as i get home im sick and tired of the pressure and the stress im sick of all the shit people have to get for no good reason im sick of how toxic everything is nothing really matters in the end we die anyways why the hell should i prolong the inevitable when no good will come out of it,3.0
11970,is falling apart  ,2.0
11971,desparadoom its because theyre fun well and they make us happy yeah ,0.0
11972,dreamingspires i live in perth but wont be at educause ,2.0
11973, its alright next time ,0.0
11974,i feel bad at everything and useless i feel like i am bad at everything and it makes me want to kill myself why is everyone so normal at talking why is everyone so normal at everything  i want to die because i know everyone is better than me,3.0
11975,i want to give up or wish for a restart maybe thats what happens if your life is over short summary have no money saved live with inlaws not at all good circumstances with them no drive anymore i have no vehicle anymore the finances hurt my relationship with my love one and her parents also put a big damper on us i have no drive i work part time and come home to my woman and just smoke and chill till the next day my life feels numb alot of times i dont know what to do,3.0
11976,  i dont ever wanna see that hopefully peanut eats them all lol,2.0
11977,  i cant go to the restroom on this ,2.0
11978,people send me twitters im in class bored as heck ,0.0
11979,oh the pain of wisdom teeth laying in bed ,0.0
11980,rashisha sorry  hear youre sick  feel better,2.0
11981,rt javssxx your wcw gets hit with anxiety when you ask her what she wants to eat its me i am your wcw,2.0
11982,beingmyself yeah he does  i hope zuluzombie finds somebody cool to chill with,2.0
11983,  thats cause he awesome eh just felt like replying to y jen ,0.0
11984, i think u are wrong on that one def mexico all the way ,0.0
11985,i saw my favorite teacher from highschool at my eye doctors  awe shes the nicest lady ,0.0
11986,ugggh gotta wake up at  ,2.0
11987,why did i wake up thinking today was friday  only to find out its not  ,2.0
11988,what can i do ive been depressed for years and had so many reasons in my mind as to why i was depressed  a couple of years ago i tried to fix myself i thought my weight was the reason for it so i lost  stone  pounds by dieting but nothing changed i thought it was due to smoking weed all the time so i quit that and while i felt less groggy every day i still felt like shit i thought it was because of not having a hobby so i started martial arts but while i enjoy it i still havent made friends there and sometimes end up leaving within  minutes because i cant be around all these extroverted people which makes me feel worse i thought it was because of not having a job so i got myself a decent job and now supervise a team of  people but it seems like everything ive read and heard that is supposed to help with depression has done nothing for me i feel the same way as i did years agoi dont have friends really not friends that i can talk to about myself and my worries and havent had a girlfriend since i was  love feels like an impossibility to me but theres nothing i want more then to have someone to talk to and share my life with instead i just hide my feelings from everyone and keep everything inside and i hate it i think about dying a lot but i couldnt with a little sister and a family that loves me and thinks im okayi pushed all the friends i had away when i started smoking weed because thats all i wanted to do now i work work out and come home and nothing changes there has always been a void i feel in my heart and chest when im alone if not that feeling its just a feeling of chaos and anxiety when im home all i do is stare at my phone computer or just some random object in my room i wish i could cry but i cant and havent for years i just get teary eyed and then tell myself im being stupid for being upset even though i know its not stupid why does being happy seem so hard why is it so horrible to see people on my way back home who are happy or in a relationship what can i do to help myself when whatever i do i end up in the same place upset alone and feeling empty im drinking alone again tonight hope everyone here finds the answer in their own lives and a happy  to all the stoners out there just know that weed can fuck things up more than they already are thanks for reading ,3.0
11989,should i plurk or stick to twitter lemme think i like plurk for its awesome colours but twitter is simplicity  nvm gdnite ,0.0
11990,katblack good luck then youll be freeeeeee ,0.0
11991,sitting upset on a saturday evening ,2.0
11992,missin the  guys really ,2.0
11993,ktbeeper youre welcome tib i got hot fudge sundae last night when i bought a bicmac at mcdo ,0.0
11994,starting  pregnant and alone this is the saddest new years of my life spending it completely sober and alone hopefully i feel lots of baby kicks tonight to cheer me up a bit im hoping everyone out there stays safe and enjoys whatever theyre doing to bring in the new year cheers mates ,3.0
11995,haha its sunny in england woop tests tomorrow  girls aloud on tuesday  hahah go on me and abbies youtube channel ,2.0
11996,drewm yes if only skype screen sharing for mac used the quickview hooks to do it similarly nobody uses ichat ,2.0
11997,fallagain nurul maybe u should frame the tshirt buat kenanganehhehehe  cute kan,0.0
11998,girl from my dreams hi there so recently ive been having a lot of dreams about this girl dreaming doesnt happen that often to me so its really rare from my dreams shes the coolest person ive ever met i even told her about my life problems why i felt that way and she was super supportive i wish i knew who she was maybe its someone i know irl and can talk about my problems idk just wanted to share this weird thing thats going on for the past week really wish i met her tho all this talking with her made my feel so much better ive done so much productive things maybe its just me going crazy too whatever,3.0
11999,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
12000,my grandma recently my grandma had an operation  she had to remove a tumor that was forming near her brain  a friend of our family also had a similar surgery and we expected the operation to go fine  we all gave our grandma a setoff for her surgery and she flashed a smile to tell us not to worry  the doctor himself told us that he had done surgeries like this many times before and assured us that she would be fine  however during the surgery as we sat in the waiting room a nurse called us back in and we assumed the surgery was already done  little did we know the nurse had bad news to tell us  she said that my grandma developed a rare medical problem during the procedure where her blood would not be able to clot  they said that they were too into the procedure and by the time they found out it was too late and she had already lost too much blood  all we could do was look onto our unconscious grandma and wait until her time ran out  we cried our eyes out the following night and by the next morning she had already passed  my grandma was my siblings and my babysitter and would stay over at our house purely because she loved us so much and it hurt our family to see her leave this way  my family and i are mourning her loss and have fallen into a deep depression and its hard to do things without thinking about her  the one thing that we all are haunted by was the fact that the doctor told us that everything would have been fine and she wouldve made it through the surgery perfectly fine if that rare medical problem had not happened  i just wanted to share what i am going through right now as it feels like a healing to type this all out and for people going through similar situations to feel less alone  it hurts to realize firsthand that you only realize the value of someone to you when theyre gone  ive learned to never hesitate telling someone how much they mean to you because you never know whether youll be able to do it ever again  thank you for reading about my experience have a good day a  year old boy from la,3.0
12001,i dont know where i am now in life and where thisll lead to im only  but i think im on some sort of existential limbo where i dont know how to socialize like i used to back then i used to be funny extroverted and free spirited but that was a few years ago i dont really have a best friend anymore but i still have a circle of friends though im now more of that guy thats just there but not really close with anyone and im not really close with my brothers since we have some sort of emotional cringe when it comes to confessions and stuff like that and theyre kind of close minded on topics like these through time i think ive become dull and i dont know whats wrong with me i dont have a passion no productive hobbies no real talent and i wake up in fear of failing my statistics subject i know a lot of stuff but very average on all of them just to add i really wanna try and be friends with some people but dont know how to initiate anymore like i used to im pretty much like a retired version of who i wanted to be and was the only better thing about me is my grades got higher overallalso nobody knows that im kinda like this they pretty much still think im some sort of joker class  clown and i really think i cant keep up with this charade anymore,3.0
12002,im in my mid to late thirties and work part time terrified of taking a test to improve myself may have to move out in  months ive been depressed for most of my life always had a fear of homelessness since thats what happened to my dad a girl really likes me but i dont know if i like her tempted to try and marry her just for the stability at least at least i wouldnt be homelessbut that wouldnt be right guess i will suffer alone,3.0
12003,rosiexjo urgh thats wat always happens when you play games with ur parents ,2.0
12004,jenface youre a nerd by associationsorry ,2.0
12005,back home  so sad  time heals everything i know i know dreamland here i come,2.0
12006, i love watching csi too ,0.0
12007,solfyre so fabulous i sent them all out today for all those lovely patient people who preordered ,0.0
12008,its so easy to get into a depression just barely have been into anything lately its why i have to watch vids of chris jericho ,1.0
12009,it gets better dont give up i found mt way out i am currently  years old and am a surgeon in new york city i have a  iq a corvette and am a decently good looking guy with all the money i could want but i have still been chronically depressed ever since i was in sixth grade i used to be a short nerdy kid who experienced frequent bullying and teasing i never took anything or got any help because i was ashamed and always have been exceptionally good at hiding my feelings the reason i am posting this at two in the morning today is because i am so elated that i cant sleep one day when i was driving home from my early shift  i head dont stop believing play on the radio and thought to myself i should go for my dream i drove six hours home to the town i grow up in and asked some old friends if my high school crush was still there they said yes so i knocked on her door and told her i loved her she told me she had always loved me too that was two year ago tomorrow i marry the girl of my dreams all because i decided to go for it i am writing this right now to remind every little me out there to go for it and keep driving toward your dream and never ever give up,3.0
12010,still in  one of the shitty things i said to parents today was i cant wait to move out of here so yah nye is going good so far,3.0
12011,irvtheswirv probably not ,2.0
12012,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
12013,i am excited me and my sister are picking up products today our site will be up very very soon ,0.0
12014,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
12015,tribtotalmedia pghpenguins i know where you are but i cant get there ,2.0
12016,im singing at the grand st cafe tomorrow night at  hope to see you there ,0.0
12017,goodnight friends kisses all around ,0.0
12018,gosiasumanity i still recommend a backup of your important data if you come into any more problems let me know ,0.0
12019,sprabu saw all your posts on your wikii have been to schnitzelbank toosimply loved the place ,0.0
12020,akon  sorry blame it on me beautiful song ,0.0
12021,mrcartersnurse youll be there ,0.0
12022,my problems i smoke too muchi drink too muchi eat too muchi have no social lifei feel emptyno matter how hard i try i cant fix iti embrace the weed because it deafens my thoughtsi embrace the drink because it makes me forgeti embrace the food because it gives me comforti isolate myself because im not worth anyones timei feel empty,3.0
12023,pinkfroggg  is my boyfriend  but he may not be much longer if he keeps making me jump  feet in the air like that,0.0
12024,wuhuuw tom barnaby rules my television ,0.0
12025,my bosses friend killed herself this weekend my boss who i am close in age with and get along with friend died this past weekend at the age of  my age she killed herself with no known motive and was as happy as can be my boss is a wreck and i feel guilty her comment was it hurts to know that there are people that are probably close to me who are suffering quietly and i cant help them i feel guilty because i am one of those people,3.0
12026,hannzzz   why has he deleted you,2.0
12027, i hate you stop trying to make the jonasbrothers hate me  youre breaking my heart boy amp stop falling in love with my drawing,2.0
12028,rt longlivelonni stress ages you calm the fuck down hoe,1.0
12029,rt  lets help each other httpstcohgdzjribmo,0.0
12030,how could i change im tired and sad  all my friends see it on me some of them are trying to help with kind texts and stuff like that but it just seems really fake i feel like im just slowly losing my friends i also got selfesteem issues i tried to improve my looks with new clothes and new hairstyles and stuff like thaty but im still really insecure and helpless it seems like i just cant appreciate my friends who are trying to actually help also i feel like i cant make casual conversations with anyone when i try sooner or later the subject just changes to my sadness and my mental state my love life and social life are  my family is neither loving or caring i got myself some drugs they might help but i feel helplesssorry for bad english im just a hungarian dude trying to seek help,3.0
12031,working out tomorrow  have some good plans for something else two,0.0
12032,mariaaahhr i miss you tooooo  soooon since you live right around the cornner,2.0
12033,threewaysin indeed   never know could be sitting in the cube across from me and id never know,0.0
12034,antidepressant withdrawal messed up on refilling my prescription and ive been way more emotional sad irritable dizzy numb feeling in my hands luckily ive got an appointment tomorrow to get the refills i am just curious if anyone can relate ,3.0
12035,mileycyrus i can be here talking to you if you can sleep tonight so you dont get bored ,0.0
12036,gonna focus on myself for a little bit fuck my depression and hoe ways,2.0
12037,my throat hurts and my nose is starting to get runny  im sick ,2.0
12038,dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how httpstcolcqdzvjrqr,1.0
12039,wildyella we are the quotfugazi patrolquot and our motto is quotif you see a clown point em outquot please let everyone know about us ,0.0
12040,jesirose eds dead   that is unfortunatly correct sir,2.0
12041,  finally got my camera i dont know what to do with any of this ,2.0
12042,pjsauyo you got it i love that craziness ,0.0
12043,drinking lemon soda  yeh fastfood ,2.0
12044,patriciagaw ohhhkaayy  when,0.0
12045,jonsbahamamama ohhh ok you can keep her only if i can have some strawberry shortcake too  ,0.0
12046,is playing wakawaka on facebook  for now ,0.0
12047,rt shxramin if its true that he is no joining bangtan overseas job then his grandpa already passed away last nightjika betul kalau k,1.0
12048,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
12049,rls sux got the jitters cant sleep ,2.0
12050,milblogging youre very welcome ,0.0
12051,margaritaville party in my mouth delicious ,0.0
12052,i miss mommy ,2.0
12053,hi guys my friends making me create this routine so i get over the d im not excited at all here it isroutine am meditate am exerciserun to starbucks buy  small green tea drink and read there run back  am healthy breakfast amp  glass of green tea waterafter breakfast vitamins  fish oil multi chrominum folate vitamin  b d  am morning journal  pm  hour of daily reading pm meditate do this cups of wateraudiobook do nots for  days until no alcohol no sugarslow carbs and glutenno caffeine ,3.0
12054,oh well magic will win it in orlando instead  now time for up,0.0
12055,me always,2.0
12056,vaporcat i want to get my hair done so bad lucky you  ,2.0
12057, they are not to bad at the moment  enjoy your trip,0.0
12058,cant wait to see malaysia vietnam amp singapore traveling with my mom aunt colleen amp cousin lynette ,0.0
12059,ew  i hope you find an eyeball in your pie,2.0
12060,they dissapear and are replaced by other ones than i honestly cant even remember like they enter my brain as quic ,0.0
12061,going downtown to partyyy toniteee ,0.0
12062,im not going out anymore my friends suck   after i got dress and evrything,2.0
12063,going to bed nite ,0.0
12064,esterday wasnt a great daymy best friends parents met with an accident i feel so freakin bad for her ,2.0
12065,wish i was in swindon ,2.0
12066,rainy days are for beeing in bed   ,2.0
12067,national standard of canada of psychological health safety in the workplace to protect and promote mentalhealth ,0.0
12068,i miss youthrough all the things we have been throughi still miss you  i feel like blogging xp,2.0
12069,ooc gtg in about ten minutes ,2.0
12070,going to palawan aug  lets go ,0.0
12071, im very prone to winter depression and had it pretty bad this year my mental health is finally great other than that,1.0
12072,my life is so worthless i practically owe it to myself to end it this may sound like a petty attention post but i genuinely feel this way i havent done anything for the past  years not a thing  other people have travelled to multiple countries had multiple sos made countless memories and ive just been here either at a shitty job that i hate or in my bedroom at my mums house im  and lead a pathetically shit lifei had to delete facebook years ago because i couldnt stand comparing myself to others but you really cant get away from it the girl at work is always away on holidays breaks up and has a new partner after a month a fucking month i cant even look at girls with out feeling like im going to collapsei scroll reddit day and night its really all ive got without it i would literally do nothing i cant even game anymore i dont have the attention span just memes and suicidal thoughts cant go on just cant not fair to myself,3.0
12073,as a man i utterly worship toxic masculinity and wish i could emulate it i think i am weak i think i am pathetic i hate weakness i hate being pathetic i feel a violent visceral hatred towards my own weakness i compare myself to my idea of what a man should be and feel disgust for not matching that idea a man he is strong a man feels nothing a man is dominant a man is violent he can dish out violence a man fears nothing but everyone fears him a man controls the relationships he enters a man is never wanting for a relationship a man is admired by those that do not fear himi lack the vast majority of those qualities i am flawed and weak i am too timid nobody is afraid of me ii cant even comprehend how i could continue to survive having failed at achieving manhood and its because of my conscious mind my conscious mind the one that usually controls my thought and action hes so fucking pathetic i hate him i fantasize about holding him down and strangling the life out of him i want to kill my former self and tell everyone hes fucking dead always nice always amiable talkative its disgusting doing pathetic sickening simp shit with the women ive been with engaging in intimacy emotional intimacy its pathetic i aspire to be like those men who feel nothing who have wild casual sex with total strangers and whose partners worship them i want to be with people i feel nothing for people i could drop in an instant and yet i feel real emotions i feel real happiness when i experience the intimacy except it isnt me its a pathetic simp version of myself that usually constitutes who i ami want the strength of a real man that raw vicious violent enemy all there is to being a man is dominating others or being dominated in turn i am dominated which means i am weak nothing nothing is more sickening and low in this world than a weak man a weak man is like a worm fit only to feast on the dirt and the shit and thats me thats fucking me i want to lose my mind to a more worthy illness i wish i was a sociopath i wish my face was a mask i wish this right now is who i always can be i wish i was toughened up as a kid i wish no man would ever dare threaten me if someone threatens me i want them to fear for their safety i want to be worshiped like monsters and bastards are i want the love of someone who manipulated herself into loving my lack of goodness i want men to bow their heads in fearful respecti want to be a fucking bad boy a monsteri need to confess these things i dont think im a nice guy just an average man but the average man is nothing he is weak men do not aspire to be like other average men women do not desire to be with average meni realize my mindset epitomizes toxic masculinity truth is this isnt even the worst of itthats my confession in truth depression gave way to mind numbing selfhatred long ago,3.0
12074,my dumbasss brother fckin got caught up textin some bitch now my phone got cut offf ,2.0
12075,going to make a nice salad ,0.0
12076,crhaashjonas and youre the jonas brothers fan the one with the cap haha ,0.0
12077,be back shortly gotta go and get food and shit for moms im seriously hittin rock bottom ,2.0
12078,eczemasupport u r so right its not easy  not scratch took years  figure it out its so hard for kids they cant help scratching ,2.0
12079,just made rainbow cupcakes and they are amazing ,0.0
12080,wellingtonpeach probably better than not waking in the long run    heyo from k,0.0
12081,any suggestions for minimising the vivid dreams caused by antidepressants also posted on rantidepressants hello ive tried a number of antidepressants over the past few years i have been taking fluoxetine prozac since november of last year and feel better than i have in years however my dreams are always so vivid sometimes bad sometimes good that i wake up feeling a bittraumatised  it can take a few hours sometimes to come round from them and get past them which obviously doesnt help when you need to get up for workthis has always been a side effect of antidepressants for me and wondered if anyone had found anything to minimise the vivid dreams a bit thank you reddit ,3.0
12082,carolriddickrdu thts v sweet of u ,0.0
12083,thfanvee dear god i hope not d that would suck major donkeyballs o wow im a real pottymouth tonight must be the lack of sleep ,2.0
12084,you know that your kid is not feeling well when she doesnt even want to watch tv  nina is sleeping most of the day which is good,2.0
12085,aww my friend got an infected mosquito bite and had surgery and now hell be in the hospital for a while  mosquitoes  scary shit,2.0
12086,rt xxdbreezyxx how you let a nigga thats not even your nigga stress you out sis,1.0
12087,epigrammist thats why i think my mum will love this mini although she may have to pry it from my hands ,2.0
12088,yes sydnei i do hate you for that p and i just got shanked with a knife by stranger new story for monday ,2.0
12089,ive had no support from my family since ive quit sports and told my family im not gay im a gamersmall youtuber and want to make it big so i could prove everyone wrong my family is a really sports heavy and just seems to revolve around my gay sister theres nothing wrong with her getting support but leaving me alone with nothing but waste my time on a channel that will never succeed with the only support i have is my online friends and a history teacher school is hell every time an option comes up to a sport its really just a matter of time till classmates tell me to join it to see me fail my family says i will fail not you can pass not strive harder just you will fail she has made it clear that im a accident with no purpose because i dont play sports my step dad is the reason i write this he verbally abuses me and has stopped physically abusing me he constantly calls me a bitchdicksuckerhe never addresses me by name im just billy tom suzy whatever name he can think of just never me he  lies about what i do he even goes out of his way to delete my videos sometimes he laughs at the user name wraithz he will laugh at my yputube picture of pathfinder from apex legends he will laugh at my subs and call them minorities i have a history teacher who i love to hang out with has really the only reason im alive today he is a gamer he is funny hes cool he helps me with other subjects like math which is where i get made fun of for asking questons  but i wont be able to talk to him next year because i wont have him so ive thought of suicide but dont want to commit i just wish to peacefully vanish my channel is all i have to prove anyone wrong in conclusion im bullied at school and home where im supposed to be safe just wish to prove everything wrong and be successful please tell me i can do something other than fail and my channel wont be another me a failure,3.0
12090,badtwin oh my god fail the  minutes werent even up goodnight  ily  ,2.0
12091, please let me know if it is allright de i need to know but first just wake up a little and enjoy the cofee  xx,0.0
12092,about to go get a head shot for the new mileycyrus movie what should i wear ,0.0
12093,andyclemmensen are you coming to newi ,2.0
12094,rt marawilson trying to view my anxiety not as something menacing but just an annoying unwelcome presence like a neighbor in a  s,2.0
12095,done emailing loads of email came in in the past days now need to do some follow ups this afternoon working on two client projects ,0.0
12096,can someone tell me in extremely specific detail what exactly physically causes my face to look ugly httpimgurcomaqevadfiyea you heard the title i got a real big fucking problem man people are calling me ugly and im getting looks of disgust in public its extremely obvious to every being in the universe that im objectively far below average looking but i want specific detail on what exactly causes my facial features to be so fucked up exactly,3.0
12097,iiluvdannyjones awwh i have an infection in my sweat glands which is now in my immune system  x,2.0
12098, aww im so jealous of you two dms boo  i cant even get one,2.0
12099,belleann someone took or stole my silver camera you used cuz its not in my bag anymore  im so friggin pissed,2.0
12100,off to cheerleading the boat after ,0.0
12101,edbrock well its nice to meet you ed  glad to find another real person out there in this twitterverse ,0.0
12102,yikessdeedee lol hopefully selena is there we can be distant cyrus cousins ,0.0
12103, no  amp if i was at the lake i wouldnt have service to twitter haha,2.0
12104,dammit rls sucks grande eggs ,2.0
12105,deversum hazy hii heh dont finish that word my brain isnt working yet my be funny switch is still off  cnt thnk of comeback,2.0
12106,well thats tashas birthday present sorted  also did some english this mornin  im now ready to rumble its sunny ,0.0
12107,theinfamousj as a staunch prolifer i def will not let the terrorists win  will make a donation to a peaceful antiabortion group,0.0
12108,actel so does wet dog on old street ,2.0
12109,okay where are the statisticssss cause im certainly not deficient in anything ,2.0
12110,the worst time for your macbook to die  this reqg trip to geniusbar the iphone release weekend ,2.0
12111,best friend is moving away so my best friend is moving away i have no way to communicate with him other than texting because its gonna be so far away im gonna really miss him he tried to help me get out of depression and talked me out of a few suicide attempts my high school has  people in it and i dont like the other  so i guess ill be friendless  when i found out the news i got even more depressed and my grades dropped from me being top of my class to getting ,3.0
12112,meeting went well  looking forward to winning at indoor soccer tonight,0.0
12113,bed waking up at   so not looking foward to that horse show in the morning,2.0
12114,ckwright oh sweet jesus im not making a meat ship  lol  yes of course meat but what and how thinking steak but no grill ,2.0
12115,my sony erickson takes a full  seconds to change between drmd tracks and it drives me mad ,2.0
12116,get in there diversity  ,0.0
12117,blasha  you know  anty awaal  ,0.0
12118,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
12119,my friend has severe depression and im struggling to help her my friend has been suffering from depression for many years now and shes been complementing suicide as of recent she has a really bad relationship with her family as far as any little thing she does wrong theyll snap on her her previous set of friends let her go because she was an annoyance to them i know now that its getting too much for her at the moment but the only thing i can do is to guide her away from committing suicideis there anything i can still do to help her not to do  something irrational,3.0
12120,highground ,0.0
12121,i need advice im a high school junior who has had depression since  grade it has been debilitating for me causing me to miss out on things that i love last year i fell in love with this girl and finally felt happy for once but sadly that relationship started to fall apart and i had to leave over losing my sense of purpose with her currently im dating someone who one of my only friends set me up with and now this relationship has been falling apart ive talked to this girl about my feelings and how i have anxiety and depressive episodes a lot and get stressed easily but every time i try to talk to her about it i just get yelled at and i end up having panic attacks because of it my family is no help and tries to have me get perfect  grades which i try but dont do well at i have a  average and thats not good enough for them i only have one true friend who i talk to about my issues and i cant thank her enough for that shes the one who talked me out of a suicide attempt last year she means the world to me and shes been telling me that i should leave my current relationship im a kindhearted person and it physically pains me to hurt anyone and im scared to hurt the girl im dating by leaving her and im just lost on what to do i wish that i could just be myself and have everyone believe in me and understand me but i just keep crying myself to sleep and falling back into my depressive habits i dont know what to do and i need help on what to do from here ,3.0
12122,rt ariahfisher depression and anxiety are two of the worst things in the world and i dont wish them upon anybody,1.0
12123,jaynecollinsmac youre not the only one ,0.0
12124, oh that doesnt sound good  drink some hot water mixed with lemon amp honey that always helps my throat,2.0
12125,i want come back to usa ,2.0
12126,is at work so tired  days a week aint no joke ,2.0
12127,snake morning sweetie  yes i´m fine  you´re welcome amp yeah sooooon it´s party have a great day ,0.0
12128,looks like i will be eating by myself ,2.0
12129,ohhmelodies theyre amazing acoustic  iz haz hurdz itz iz beenz thurz,2.0
12130,i have serious separation anxiety ,2.0
12131,beautie oooh sounds good pricey any other recommendations for good treatmentsleavein serums i have a frizz problem ,2.0
12132,melidm and i seriously didnt mean anything bad about that comment ,0.0
12133,djbrainchild sowee ,2.0
12134,just chillen by myself while jenna is hagin with her brother up stairs ,2.0
12135,carollbaroll oops now i did the correct thing ,0.0
12136,starting antidepression meds after life long depression experiences tomorrow im going to be talking to my uni psych about starting depression medication i have pretty much had thoughts of suicide since the age of  and i am now  and i cant really think of a time in my life where i felt satisfied with the relationships i had with other people or did things for myself my biggest issue is my lack of desire to do things for myself and a lack of a sense of self i just feel like i have been depressed so long that it has physically altered my brain chemistry in which its too late for me to see life with a new perspective that my personality is just bland and i will never be able to do things because i enjoy them not because i get recognition from other people for them ,3.0
12137,awww man i wanted the mqgic to win ,2.0
12138,everything has gone down hill this is my first time writing out my emotions ive never told anyone how i feel i am a compulsive liar thief and fraud im a high school student and am an absolute waste of space and life im fat dumb and have no motivation to do anything i have several thoughts of suicide on a weekly basis never have i acted on them because i am too much of a pussy ive never been able to have a girlfriend because of my crippling social anxiety which makes me want to go to a place where no one can ever talk to me yet at the same time i want to be welcomed by the warm and exciting feelings of friendship im a spoiled piece of shit for which i blame no one but myself for letting myself get to this point i think of myself better of dead and constantly remind myself of the piece of garbage i am the only things i live for are my family and sometimes i feel as though they do not even recognize me i despise myself my image and the way i act i wish i could change ive tried religion exercise meeting new people and nothing seems to help at all thank you for reading,3.0
12139,arters corymccloskey  that should be salt water taffyslow fingers this monday morning ,0.0
12140,rt  update warm n sad,1.0
12141,is ready to celebrate tylers  birthday again  funtastic ,0.0
12142,chetanbhagat all the best  waiting for it,0.0
12143,rt valerietosi i just sent out nine tweets in a row about moviepass because im like a sad gf who just wants to know why her ex left,0.0
12144, i dont know what kind of food i want though ,2.0
12145,glinner re locked toilethad same thing happen to me when in spain rescued by policeonly for them to discover  year old me locked in ,2.0
12146,tailurr im abt to cry for real im tearing up my depression is cured,1.0
12147,i cant stop hurting myself  days ago i cut my wrist deep it looks so disgusting and hurti got scars which can never removelast time i have hurt myself was over  years ago i have attempted suicide many times recently but i failed i accepted that i cant kill myself because im a coward but i can hurt myself the reason i hurt myself is that i just hate myself and my life i did my best to be happy but everything was wrong and now i hurt myself and feel ok i hope i could be strong to kill myself i dont need any medications i dont want to share with therapists about my depression and suicide feelings today morning is coming  i have to live so hard i want to sleep forever ,3.0
12148,bout to watch movies with my mom for a while and pick out a new hair style maybe ill dye my hair purple ,0.0
12149,goonaffiliated im mad  im on arizona time ,2.0
12150,tiffachuu lol you and your greeley ,0.0
12151,lepetitagneau whats going on sweetheart ,2.0
12152,rafa nadal is out of french open  sniff sniff,2.0
12153,themainemills totally epic ,0.0
12154,our  cat died a few mins ago  huhuhu,2.0
12155,im sad just saw the final cut of the paradiso girls video quotpatron tequilaquot and i hate it i excepted so much more from them ,2.0
12156,aurora gets so sad when my sister is gone strings camp is gonna be rough for this pup,2.0
12157,brittanyjune alrighty ,0.0
12158,gamerfreak yes  grudge defo have to see did it really make you jump whenever i hear that noise now i laugh lol ,0.0
12159,dayummmjrod maybe it is ,0.0
12160,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
12161,lennydeleon well i was asking if any of my friends were currently on or willing to go to talk  but yeah i know what you mean,0.0
12162,even when i get what i want i am not happy i just had my newfound love over which i anticipated for a long time we had a great time and i even got to cuddle with her you have to know that i am starved for human warmth so this really gave me a good time i was so happy for a short moment and everything was alright but then she went home and i feel more cold and lonely than ever i literally got what i always wanted but i still cant appreciate it i just cant be grateful for anything nothing is ever enough i feel like it would have just been better if i had just stayed alone at least i didnt have to feel this pain i dont want back into my shell i want to live life because it really feels good but at the same time i cant take the pain that comes with it even when i get what i want i cant be happy and i just feel disappointed  i really dont know what to do i dont even know why i post here why is everything so damn tiring just tell me what you think,3.0
12163,itim cool ,0.0
12164,today sucks ,2.0
12165,chiweets and why does your username have to have the  thats on the third page of the iphone keyboard ,2.0
12166,ensredshirt really hope your friend sunny gets better asap ,2.0
12167,i just had a shot of quail egg chopped salmon and masago at cabin sushi plus it was all you can eat ,0.0
12168,pretty happy with how things have changed over the past  monthsdefinitely for the best ,0.0
12169,ohhh fine ill go do em  giggles new moon whoo,2.0
12170,ricknunn im with rik i havnt recieved my email from you either  unless i spelt my email address wrong again ,2.0
12171,the truth as i know it came across this sub yesterday and find a lot of lost souls looking for release or relief and someone who understands sorry to say no one can understand what another person is experiencing whether the person is depressed happy psychotic or perfectly sane all of their feelings are their own we can relate to one another on some levels but we humans are alone in our little existence bubbles so maybe looking for people who can relate is more productive than trying to find someone who understands does this make things worse maybe but its the same for all of us  even those who arent cursed with brains that malfunctiion and try to hurt us some of us have some loving people in our lives some dont none of us is alone in our loneliness even people who love you cant understand no matter how they try and we will never understand them yes it would be great if the people we love understood what were going thru and it hurts like hell when you realize they dont hurts even more when they dont even try maybe theyre shallow or maybe they realize that there is no way for them to understand and they dont put out the effort depressed people have so little energy as it is we should learn to stop wasting it looking for things that will never be acceptance is our only chance to moving on accept that life sucks for us in ways others wont ever get and accept that we will never understand those people who think everyone can choose to be happy i like to think fuck those be happy people anyway let them waste their efforts trying to convince others to be a way that they cannot learn not to waste your precious energy hoping others can understand something they never willgood luck out there fellow depressives be as good to yourselves as you can,3.0
12172,depression and work so im actually in a good place depressionwise but im posting this here just in reference to depression as a topic  yesterday was kurt cobains death day and i know this because my boss is obsessed with the  grungepunk rock band nirvana if you dont know kurt cobain was the lead singer and committed suicide  years ago yesterday  my workplace is a warehouse and we have a group meeting every day to get announcements and do stretches before starting our shift  yesterday it was all about the mental health services our employer provides which is like some hotline or something thats geared specifically to warehouse workers  my boss kept making references to some incident like with all thats been going on i thought this was really relevant and making it sound like someone in our shift was going through something  everyone i know found that odd because we all had no idea who or what he was talking aboutgetting to work after announcements my neck was killing me from straining it the day before  like so bad it was giving me a headache and an upset stomach so i wasnt really in a great mood  when break time came around one of the biggest gossips at work asked me if i was okay  confused i said ya of course forgetting the physical pain from my neck  she said she only asked because the person id been working with that morning had told her i seemed off  i could tell she was looking for something juicy like that i was the one being referenced at the group meeting  i told her i was fine and just had neck pain and it was effecting methe part that kind of pisses me off is that people seem to only reach out and want to know if youre okay when its convenient for them or suits their agenda  we had a worker who left a month or two ago who was severely openly depressed and everyone hated her  nobody ever wanted to know if she was okay because it was obvious she wasnt and shed actually talk about it  granted she was really annoying and the constant negativity got on my nerves but she was openly sick and nobody gave a shit  and if i were depressed the coworker yesterday who reached out to me wouldnt have actually given a shit either shed just be pleased to have gleaned a useful little tidbit of gossip  to be fair and honest even i dont care too much about the mental health of near strangers but i also dont pretend to or use it against them or for my own gain      ,3.0
12173,mattwroberts wow you trying to be like matt hey new campaign instead of be like mike be like matt  lol,0.0
12174,church was awsome  today,0.0
12175,wendyldavis lions are my  team cats my   also have family history in geelong another reason,0.0
12176,roxannestclaire yeah my tweetdeck isnt working quite well but as im half away of the computer im not complaining much yet ,0.0
12177,gingha it is  i have the docs so morning off and then into work   freecycling  what you getting,2.0
12178,this is the best lunch ever yum yum yumnow back to work ,2.0
12179,yess she got through  ,0.0
12180,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
12181,fuck i wish i hadnt seen her today  she completely put me back down just by seeing her my heart is shattered,2.0
12182,gavintheworld going to see them here  the  hard rock amp in la  the greek tbut i gotta wait till september ,2.0
12183, orange mocha frappuccino ,0.0
12184,we just went outside and jason dented the golf cart alex is getting a whoopin when we leave ,2.0
12185,wennies you are my hero thank you ,0.0
12186,history over and done with  lol wrote  pages my hand hurts  french listening soon ,0.0
12187,cant go to dance practice tmrw cuz i twisted my ankle ,2.0
12188,gday mates chillin out in australia ,0.0
12189, do you have any jonas brothers tour news  anything at all please tweet back  xx,0.0
12190,rfmplay brill feels so long ago now i miss rhiannon a little good luck with it ,0.0
12191,why dont we have a laser tag game in melbourne boo ,2.0
12192, it was a baby girl little annie ofarrell it was a great week but im stuck in cork airport now as my flight is delayed ,2.0
12193,btw i found beowulf really long already okay  its only the first day and im already complaining,2.0
12194,im proud of you for being alive and making it to  this year has been tough for me and im sure it was for many of you too i didnt think i would make it until the end of the year but here i am to those who didnt think they would either im happy youre still here ,3.0
12195,im continuing on writing my blog i wrote earlier today would fill it up with lots of pictures from when i was in jakarta  x,0.0
12196,rt aanahivaldez i get sad fast like ill be ok then just sad out of nowhere,1.0
12197,will invite people to twitter ,0.0
12198, wtf eat a dick while your quotbandquot quotsingsquot ,0.0
12199,just by the fact that mental health professionals advise against watching it amp the book totally ignored their input,1.0
12200,i cant cry im in a really bad way since yesterday and ive had a good week of feeling normal i just want to cry thats all i want to do i wanna release his anguish inside but it wont comei try to set myself off by thinking of dying or something hat makes me sad but i still wont come my mom says just work out but i cant even gather my thoughts and finish what im trying to writei just need it to end i cant even see tomorrow or plan ahead or even imagine a normal life i just want to cry editand just like that i cant remember these feelings reading this back is like reading in a different language it baffles me one moment its dark and gloom and the next its a completely different mindset and vice versaedit i just wanna say thank you for everyone who is sharing their feelings and commenting its a horrible thing we all feel but even knowing im not alone in this helps in a way im feeling better than i did this morning thats for sure i just hope everyone finds a way out of the dark im not gonna puppy you and say itll get better cus i know thats pig shit itll just get easier something like this never goes away but coping is the true battle i was afraid to post in this sub because i was worried itd confirm that im thinking of ending it its just a better place than rdepression to let it all out,3.0
12201,katy perry was aswesome on the radio this morning ,0.0
12202,rt taylorrhookk looking through my snap memories has me so sad about everyone leaving in two weeks ,1.0
12203,mizzlizwhizz thought for a minute there you had got them at a swiss finishing school  ,0.0
12204,just had my heart broken liked a girl for basically  years and she knew we were friends and i asked her out a couple days ago and she said no  she was really nice about it though if that helps but said we could stay friends i feel worse than i ever have before and i dont know what to do i dont know what to do she was basically the only person i have ever liked and it just really hurts i havent felt like doing anything since it happened and have tried to play some of my favorite games to take my mind off of it but i just canti feel like ill never feel better and this will last forever do any of you guys know anything i can do to try to feel better ,3.0
12205,i hate watching the news why do such awful things happen ,2.0
12206,my laptop is dying  ima let it charge for a bit ill get back on later bye twitter,2.0
12207,being sick sucks when your ears pop ,2.0
12208,were watching up on saturday morneeeng  you should go ,0.0
12209,rt khayadlanga according to a dr friend depression is increasing globally by  it will be  most common reason for occupational di,0.0
12210,rt tyydoll never ,2.0
12211,just landed ugh first plane ride ever i hate it ,2.0
12212,samplingia i think so tootoo bad  that would have been fun  well off to lunch ill call you lateryou at home,2.0
12213,heidirange apparently not eating through your flight  then eating within the time zone when you land prevents jetlag too late now ,2.0
12214,rt socomusic were delighted to be relaunching our mental health peer support music group⚡️we have instruments and music tech👇 httpst,0.0
12215,gingin  maybe gin  i still remember and loving him  now i only hope gin ,2.0
12216,not feeling well today ,2.0
12217,annijb haha yeah obviously im seriously horny  but i like it,2.0
12218,bristandby i want photograhpic evidence of that ,0.0
12219,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
12220,emptiness sometimesor most of the times i am feeling like unworthy and sad and then i ask myself why am i feeling like that and i find no real answers but the logical answer is that i am too empty and that emptiness is eating me alive or i like to believe that i am bad or pathetic so i can explain the void in my life i truly i cant understand my feeling and i get lost trying to explain it well help me out and am i the only one who is feeling like this,3.0
12221, sweet  can i replace sam lane she bores me all the talks about is footy,0.0
12222,then if i have enfu time ill see if they can drop me off at the libray so i can upload my new video  that was some big tweeting,0.0
12223,scoping this out ,0.0
12224,bmisunderstood  thankyou for the ff ,0.0
12225,marklsparkle thanks lets hope she comes shes not returning my calls or texts ,2.0
12226,going back to the base that means no more episodes of quotweedsquot for this week ,2.0
12227,twittatonic no worries i have one like that slumdog wasnt what i was expecting but i liked it sad kids live like that anywhere ,2.0
12228,apercheddove  stupid straight hair,2.0
12229,well its been a long day a now its time for bed  good night my twitter dolls,0.0
12230,went swimming with poppy in the sea today conwy beach it was seriously nice warm clear water amp stunning scenery like being abroad ,0.0
12231,bograma isnt being proud enough or for example what does your or my avatar has to do with our achievements ,0.0
12232,willandthepeopl i just wanted to say how amazing your wolverhampton show with the script was i cant come to your next show  gutted,2.0
12233,redsoxmonkey aw monkey hugs iam still pretty sick  a little better though had to work a  hour shift today s,2.0
12234,    and kitty world ,0.0
12235,talindab hi you are really talinda  how nice is that,0.0
12236,on the train to glasgow listenin to hey monday and trying not to sneeze haha its a proper lush day xd arran looks gorgeous ,0.0
12237,amandajacobss imy too manda  i wish you could come w rachael to see me ill be home mid august though it shall be ,2.0
12238,bored wanna chat hey  you dont respond ,2.0
12239,i feel like i just got hit with a baseball bat  right in the back lovely ,0.0
12240,year in pixels im going to be doing one of those year in pixels things to track how much my depression actually affects my day to day life this time next year or maybe monthly ill post my results wish me luck this year is already at a bad start maybe this will benefit some people and be a good tool for psychology students to study,3.0
12241,i wish i could discard parts of my identity entirely and create a new one in the past i thought being diagnosed as depressed was validation for suffering but another part of me was trying to discard parts of my identity the bullied the outcasted the slow learner the oddball from my past putting on tons of makeup wearing sexy clothing behaving provocatively etc trying to act confident cool and edgy but i cant run away from myself i cant run away from parts of my identity the depressed the horrible the ugly parts there is an underlying inferiority complex which threatens to awake whenever i screw up or do something wrong an undercurrent of melancholy threatening to sweep me away,3.0
12242,i had forgotten just how lovely loratabs are when in pain maybe sleep will be in my cards tonight ,0.0
12243,lisasamples hey there ok have a good night ,0.0
12244,is now going to bed ,0.0
12245,just finished  emergency  by neil strauss  another great read neil  congrats   miss you by the way,0.0
12246,dividepictures i love you milooreply me pleasee ,2.0
12247,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
12248,early to bed early to rise makes a man or woman miss out on the night life  nite,2.0
12249,sconstantine thx for the link we have our own if you havent seen those ,0.0
12250,watching the hills finale with speidis wedding and planning my own wedding        ,0.0
12251,finally done  hours amp a half of accounting homeworkk ,2.0
12252,lost my first boxing match      so ive been boxing for a few years now and had my first official match just tonight  boxing has been a great help to me the forced socialization and camaraderie and all that have been a big help  it has the consequence of me investing a lot of my ego in it though     i lost my first official match today and it feels like any progress ive made with my self worth has just vanished  any consolation i try to give myself just makes me feel more pathetic because in my head thats just what losers say to make themselves feel better which of course id never think about anyone i know or care about      i just dunno i felt like i was worth something for the first time in a long time and now i feel like ive just been fooling myself,3.0
12253,svenskfisk explain the difference as you see it why dont you ,0.0
12254,so theres this guy and i think he likes mebut im totally not feeling ittrue story sad story ,2.0
12255,god im so fucking sad right now he really doesnt deserve this,0.0
12256,picturesque eternity i dream that im sitting on a beach gazing upon the sunset lit horizon with birds flying above the calm waves calm my heart and give clarity to my thoughtsthoughts of a living in a world where compassion and understanding is given priority above all elsean eternal mushroom trip with no downward spiralsno responsibilitiesno mandatory human contact for as long as one feels necessaryjust being free to explore your imagination,3.0
12257,sims  maniashit its stunningworth my money ,0.0
12258,i cant get better i really want to try for the sake of having a life worth living but i cant because of my job i work  hour shifts and i just dont have time for anything and i am mentally and psychically drained even at the weekends like now i feel like i am recovering for the next week i also hate my job so much i am just miserable all day long and people keep mentioning it i want to go to the gym to go outside to meet my friends but i either dont have time or i am just really tired but then if i quit i will just be in the house all day and that could be even worse as my mind then gets to wonder but then i get to try if i quit i can learn guitar go to the gym go for a walk basically i want to get rid of my depression and work is stopping me from doing that as well as making it worse i used to be on  hour shifts and i wasnt as depressed i was gradually getting better until they put me on  hours i have also met a girl now and i want to be able to do it for her but i want to have a job so she doesnt think i am a layabout i feel trapped like i am in a prison ,3.0
12259,one day i will have a trending topic  i dont think epicmeat or jergensmaterial will work,2.0
12260,i thought i was going to be ok this new years i spent the entirety of new years alone not doing anything and the person i had loved dumped me  a little bit before that today i finally had the courage to ask some of my friends to hangout and it was fun occasionally with the usual random depressing momentsthen i learn that all of my friends were hanging out on new years including the person i liked i just had to sit there and take in how they explain what a great time it was and they managed to talk about the person i liked so fucking much it hurt so bad my mood was down the drain more than usual and they continued to talk about the person i liked throughout the night by that time i was just numb as hell but then this other girl starts ranting on about how she soooo depressed and how i dont understand what shes going through and her having ptsd at first i was willing to listen so i said that i prob will understand her goddamn reason for being depressed was because she doesnt have the courage to say tell someone that she likes themlike holy shit she just kept talking of her depression and in my mind i was just laughing and thinking about all of the stuff that ive been through depression not having any good friends cutting psych ward visit and constantly making a reason to prove to myself that im just a pile of shit sorry i just had to get this off my chest because one of the girls asked if i had anything i wanted to talk about and i was on the edge of letting it all out to her but then she starts telling me a story that shes already told me  times by the time she finished she asked what i wanted to talk about but i was so tired that i just said i forgot i hate myself for all the things ive messed up just from existing,3.0
12261,shes just waiting for her time to die because her condition is very worse now i hope she may rest in peace ,2.0
12262,im feeling down ive struggled with depression in the past and ive thought that with the help of therapists that ive gotten better with it  but i feel like im stuck in the spot where i started  years ago ive built up relationships and friendships witch seems to help a lot but whenever im alone i feel like i felt a long time ago i guess im just posting this for support,3.0
12263,i have no life i wasted the last  or so years of my life being a shut in only occasionally leaving my housei feel like my life is over even if i attempt to fix my life i will be judged harshly for living like this and wont fit in with the world my life wasnt even bad i dont know why i let this happen i pissed everything away and it pains me to even be alive i missed out on so much and im continuing to miss out i wish i had woken up earlier i wish i could go back in time every day i dont know what im gonna do now i hate being me,3.0
12264,home stretch of addressing invites  more left  another batch is being sent out tomorrow all of them will be out the door by tuesday,0.0
12265,dutiesofcare why did she looks so sad it breaks my heart 😭😭😭,1.0
12266,how can i be so lost i have lost everything i love  years ago my dog died multiple heart attacks while in a coma and the vets would not help so we had someone come doe  and put him down for us  months after that one only favorite cats died hit by a car but was able to walk took him to the vets and were told he would be fine to pick up tomorrow never said goodbye as i thought he would be fine but he passed that night at the vets over the next  years till this day i have lost many animals that i loved dearly and just today i found out my other favorite cat scar was found after being missing for a month and rehomed without me knowing hours away with some random family there has been one person i have loved in the last few years and i lost her and till this day it haunts meover the last  years i have lost everything i loved and i cant go on like this,3.0
12267,when chavs attack awsome slanging match entertainment in the town centre i fuggin this and fuggin that no shame at all lol ,0.0
12268,is having some tummy issues ,2.0
12269,ollywhattalent total creativity a go go  sounds like we were on a roll this week  hows the new plans taking shape  glad u showed,0.0
12270,that wasnt too bad  oh yeah before i forget kat asked in the ride back quot is loloy a girl quot lmfao ,0.0
12271,sacca hell yeah  missed you  the beach olys this weekend  ,2.0
12272,for the msm their world really is coming to an end,1.0
12273,  kimmy not happy about her flea injection ,2.0
12274,pushplaycj awesomeness ,0.0
12275,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,2.0
12276,corb so skyyed presskj showed him  me last week  im still reeling from that crafted amp hyphenated last name ,2.0
12277,not watching the movie i told you i was lol it looked kinda boring ,0.0
12278,homeeee from vacation  knew it couldnt last forever,2.0
12279,my anxiety levels lately have been emotionally crushing,2.0
12280,downesy ive already been awake for  this cannot end well ,2.0
12281,patural omg are you ok ,2.0
12282,headed out to piestewa today for some hikingphotographingwhenever bill wakes up  i cant seem to sleep in past  any more  ,2.0
12283,my brothers out washing the patio slab thingsi should feel guilty as im not doing anything but what the heck ,0.0
12284,stickysweetmom thank you kindly  i had a nice weekend home in ri  im feeling much better this week already  ,0.0
12285,shamhardy ok jer from here i doubt zambry brought facebook down ,0.0
12286,must remove myself from twitter amp fb  go study work on paper homework etcmy reward will be that ill be back soon ,0.0
12287,beckybuckwild omgggg  angelahvedi kicked me out of ur live cause i said everyone is a whore ,2.0
12288,nehalia video has either been removed or is private ,2.0
12289,trekkerguy nahim wasting this one to get to  ,0.0
12290,being lazymissin my girlie lia already ,2.0
12291,davecub no count chocula was to be had  had to order it online ,2.0
12292,im not alright i dont want to do this anymore the thought of suicide gets more comforting every day,3.0
12293,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
12294,the filter is back up at work boohoohoo sims  wont play ,2.0
12295,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
12296,elizabethsmom thanks  im talking to myself about all these quotreasonsquot for not going,0.0
12297,robmedawrongway oooh thats awesome i need to get caught up if you ever want me to beta id be happy to do so ,0.0
12298,crowderband wishing i could come to student life tomorrow havent seen yall in about  years  ,2.0
12299,sitting by a pool watching old people swimamp drinking a strawberry thing with whipped cream ,0.0
12300,pinecat yup yup glad i could help ,0.0
12301,rediscoverme im in shock at hearing that  cannot believe    his friends and family are in my thoughts,2.0
12302,exam this afternoon not even slightly confident  but i will try my best ,2.0
12303,burdenday snap dont let a bad apple get under your skin we all appreciate your help and attention ,0.0
12304,watching the phillies they are already losing ,2.0
12305,kirstywilson you will be deeply missed tweetupmellers    yet will make us hang out for you on the next one kirsty injections please,2.0
12306,thegreenparty agree with you of course but many will choose cheap flight to country with cheap hotels while uk costs so high ,2.0
12307,really wishes he had some spare cash to buy the new punch out for wii ,2.0
12308,siouxsie sioux is looking damn good at age  i love her  httptinyurlcompykdlk,0.0
12309,boredhave nothing to do today ,2.0
12310,antonmochalin у белору�ов так же httpwwwgooglecomby  ,0.0
12311,im going to stop following some of you guys becausei cant keep up with all these tweets ,2.0
12312,yes time for my walk  ,0.0
12313,itsnickjonas yum sounds nice hope you feel better soon ,0.0
12314,slhousman i dont think youll get to meet ash  we broke up last night  im very depressed today ,2.0
12315,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
12316,ameeraaa im not the faintin type but id probs cry this is so ilyi want to be there so badly ,2.0
12317,im going to make a vlog during my tripim doing an awful lot and all so might aswell ,0.0
12318,haha i love hedo turkoglu courtney lee dwight howard mickael pietrus rashad lewis and super hottie that didnt play jj redick  we won,2.0
12319,listening to owl citys new song strawberry avalanche ,0.0
12320,peterfacinelli congratulations u guys deserved the award i know i voted a lot ,0.0
12321,cavs season is over   it was one hell of a ride boys thanks for a great year,2.0
12322, still have to finish some commissioned work but it should be up in due time ,0.0
12323,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
12324,rockingsisters lol if i was gonna be around i would love it but im gonna be out west for the festivities ,2.0
12325,paulaabdul  my niece loves dancing to your song boombox i compiled the snippets i got from jjamprich ,0.0
12326, i am having to reload the pg over and over my browser is taking forever this morning what a pain in the ass i am ,2.0
12327,butadream whats going on ,2.0
12328, hey im alive ,0.0
12329,been in remission for months now but still cant seem to get solid hygiene practices back ever since ive been on sertraline starting almost a year ago my depression has gradually been becoming less and less of an issue so all good there however i still even when feeling completely normal and happy seem to be able to get myself to shower brushfloss teeth etc every day despite a considerable will and effort to do sobefore i became depressed and still to some extent now i would shower every single night without question or exception rain hail or shine i would shower before bed and brush  floss my teeth at least twice per day and usually washed my hands after using the toilet i felt and still feel very dirty and disgusting when i dont do any of these in a  period yet ive still become apathetic and seem to forget to do it or not care enough and just take my mind off the dirty feeling and havent been able to shake it even without a cloud over my head all dayany suggestions to be able to restablish solid hygiene habits after going into remissioncheers,3.0
12330,my mental health is destroying my physical health i dont brush my teeth i dont brush my hair i dont shower i dont eat healthily and i dont exercise i never have the motivation to i feel like because i already know that i look like shit why not let everyone else see it my mental health has severely impacted my physical health over the last  years i moved to a new school and started getting bullied which made me become self destructive i had counselling and it just never helped i just dont know what to do anymore,3.0
12331,vond de ip radio branding presentatie weinig spectaculair ,2.0
12332,im so tired ,2.0
12333,mscynt if ur a mother  happy mothers day to u too i gre up on black beat and right on by the way ,0.0
12334, a b c d e effing g  i love the word so much  httpeffingcc,0.0
12335,in bed with a splitting headache ,2.0
12336,and working on homework   ,2.0
12337,discovered frozen grapes in the freezer sweet i can use them as icecube surrogates ,0.0
12338,rt rottenindenmark the us healthcare debate never grapples with the cost of anxiety the majority of americans cant cover a  expen,2.0
12339,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
12340,shrimptoncoutur now i just have to go through  posts to find the links that didnt redirect ,2.0
12341,itseleen oooh have a good time its sprinkling in so cal  i want more strawberries hehe,2.0
12342,missoregon word ,0.0
12343,everyones leaving the country  bobbys on the plane back to indo sis is leaving for tw and miche is leaving for indo soon,2.0
12344,maddsie actually ive learned about it from archuletafanscom  cant wait to know the resultslol,0.0
12345,now im bored  ,2.0
12346,jonasbrothers we went to two walmarts and neither of them would give us the new cd we have to wait until morning ,2.0
12347,my throat is on fire ,2.0
12348,is it just me or is telling people your sad makes it worse like i might talk to my friend and tell them im sad  like sometimes i dont know the reason im sad i just am  then they start asking why and when i say i just am they get mad and start listing reason they could be sad but arent and it just makes me feel worse because they have bigger problems than me its like their flexing but not in a good way maybe im just being a pussy and i should just suck it ,3.0
12349,rt nothingnowhere our tour is cancelled ive been battling severe anxiety and depressionand decided the best option is to leave for a,2.0
12350,tommcfly marvin makes me want to get a kitten but my housemate is allergic ,2.0
12351,how do you find the motivation to stop being so depressed im stuck in the same fucking cycle and can never get out i cant find the motivation to work hard in school mind you i am taking a pretty easy degree and i can barely find the motivation to work out i feel like im going nowhere in life because i cant even motivate myself to do simple daily tasks i feel like ive ruined all my potential and im going downhill from here and im only  im just wasting my youth laying in the dark in my bed on my phone all day i feel like i have nothing to offer to my girlfriend i dont feel like a man to her and i dont know what she sees in me i read stories of people finally getting out of this cycle but i just dont know how to do it i have absolutely no motivation and its been like this since i was a kid ,3.0
12352,bodyofwater no phish nor roots picnic for me  but planning on checkin out the  free fests  clarkpark amp nolibs,2.0
12353,ginstonic  ahh so thats what youve been doing in your room all evening leaving me all alone in the lounge ,2.0
12354,jls beat again  radio ones weekend anthem ,0.0
12355,too much respect for this man,1.0
12356,natmandu i cant avoid it  every gig i get people asking why i dont try out ,2.0
12357,yeelam we love kevin jonas in  i agree with youxd ,0.0
12358,i ate too much today thats what i do when i stay home  not gonna eat much tomorrow,2.0
12359,new look at shy siren  im drooling    amp  httptinyurlcomopocnw  amp    sigh ,0.0
12360,shower finished still faint traces of dog scent p but im relaxed and got some pondering done ,0.0
12361,denisdailyyt r u against da dab if u r i be sad also my cat mrs meows a lot asked if u leik ninjago,2.0
12362,kyluhtoots im gonna miss you too ,2.0
12363,just about to get in the shower turning the bathroom into a sauna first ,0.0
12364,  quotthe door into summerquot i took it with a sigma  camera is awesomebut tricky ,2.0
12365,objectively my life is pretty great but i still feel depressed i dont know whats wrong with me ,3.0
12366,my big anxiety is work i work at a fastfood sandwich shop and inshallah ill ask to wear a longsleeve shirt under my work shirt plus hijab,2.0
12367, fucked up for sure but im  glad yall didnt get hurt thatd be even worse ,2.0
12368,things that help hey guys so i want to share my story mostly to get it off my chest because ive never full out told this whole story to anyone in high school i was a horrible person i would lie to my parents get in physical fights with my mom sleep around i think my number was at least  when i graduated and i lost my virginity at  if that gives you any idea for reference i would take all kinds of drugs and had a bad group of friends that would leave me at partys after i was black out drunk part of how my number got so high anyways i was fine always kind of had social anxiety but nothing else always super outgoing and comfortable in my own skin aside form everything when i went off to college there was one day in particular that i just started to feel sad and remorseful over a guy i had dated i had previously never given a fuck about him before but just overwhelmed with so much regret and then it continued from there i just was so embarrassed of my past choices the way i had treated my parents the good friends i wronged etc i felt my self changing and wallowing in on myself i remember thinking this isnt me how do i get back to being me i was always a really outgoing and bubbly person aside from all the bad things i had done i was that way for over  years i had no friends i didnt know how to talk to anyone to tell them what was going on i tried to talk to people and fit in but i couldnt hold a conversation and it was exhausting trying i almost mentally snapped at one point because i started becoming paranoid thinking somewhen was gonna break in while i was home at night really bad mentally during that point of my life i eventually moved back home with my parents and started taking a shit ton of xanax and going out to try and make friends the xanax worked and helped me talk to people and make friends most of who werent the right friends and my journey started over after another two years and the support of a really great bf and best friend im better but still have my days of just utter sadness and depression for no reason  there is absolutely nothing for me to be sad about still my life is going really well and im loved and i love but i still havent moved on from the depression and i dont know what to do ,3.0
12369,  cantonfirstfri  the horses arent coming down my street cuz its blocked off fur bands,2.0
12370,hates when a really good book ends  soon ,2.0
12371,johnlinford for once i did nothing left it alone for a few hours and it died suspected motherboard failure ,2.0
12372,quit taking antidepressants in september when will i feel normal again i was on zoloft for about  years i felt numb i wanted to feel emotions again now i cry every day guess i got what i want in a way i thought my brain would normalize after a month or two without medication but here i am in january crying at the idea of waking up tomorrow i dont even know why im posting thisedit its not january its almost march i am wasting away ,3.0
12373,hey tweeps i just realized that i think im sick no i dont wanna be sick but my throath is hurting and my body is too ,2.0
12374,waiting for kde linux to reinstall all the files i lost when i had to reinstall xp for stinkin atampt dsl config ,2.0
12375,walking in the city on this beautiful day ,0.0
12376,melteti me and mel are seeing miley cyrus in  weeks  got the tickets havent seen her in ages miss you babe,0.0
12377,iuwii thanks i needed that ,0.0
12378,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
12379,rt dreamonlque depression is real check on your friends ask if theyre okay mentally sometimes they really just need a person thats,0.0
12380,dasghost there you have it okay joe is bored  he asks if everything is okay with his little brother ,0.0
12381,fashionistaz  me want to diet aswell but foods r hard to resist ,2.0
12382,chaneythevp stop shooting nerf guns goodnight ,0.0
12383,holy moley its raining cats and dogs here and i just got snazzified by min at salon mint ,2.0
12384,people are not out there to get me something in me changed over the last couple of months this year so far has been really good im happy with how my weightloss is going happy with uni and happy with my social life but most importantly im happy with my anxiety levels on bad days i used to be afraid of everything and everyone i felt shame anxiety of being judged or laughed at it was irrational but i hated myself and my body so much that i assumed everyone else hated me too i would constantly look at the ground when in public so i wouldnt have to see faces of other people but over the last few months it got better i was sure what i felt was reality but it wasnt depression and anxiety lied to me and i believed it i dont know how but it seems like ive looked past that deception i enjoy interactions with people for the first time in a very long time i enjoy being nice to people and them being nice to me even if its just a have a good evening from the guy who works at the small store near my flat and if i have a bad day which still happens from time to time i keep repeating to myself that the people are not out there to get me that im good enough even though sometimes i feel like im worthless it helps and i hope that it keeps helping and that my situation keeps improving i never truly believed posts like this one posts that it really can get better i believed that it might be true for some people but not for me for me this was impossible but here i am making this post to share my experience and my realization that even if you truly think and believe that it never can get better the chance is still there much love everyone,3.0
12385,all alone in this house tonight ,2.0
12386,year  fitforlife helps our students decrease stress levels and optimise academic performance but who was having ,2.0
12387,i wishi can use my  card tomorrow i really do miss it ,2.0
12388,payback is  well its not pretty  to put it in nice words ,0.0
12389,bad third case ,2.0
12390,fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i hate this just let me out of this world without hurting anyone lmao fuck this stupid universe,3.0
12391,nothing worse than being sad and having anxiety when youre alone at three am,2.0
12392,fjkinnit lol we dont have any ,2.0
12393,after seeing death and suffering online im scarred  first off i want to say sorry if im not posting this in the right place i never use reddit and i dont know where i should post this to seek help with iti also want to say that im only  i game on my pc everyday and live a really slow simple life not that i enjoy it that wayso just hours ago i watched a video on youtube called something like nuclear incidents caught on camera or whateverthe last incident was the most graphic and most horrible the youtuber decided to blur the horrible images which i found later but only  into the explaining of it i had found the story and read up on it and saw the imagesi really thought id be able to handle it but the way that it was described the incompetence of the workers and the nuclear power plant in all caused this man to turn into this suffering dying having died already multiple times just to be revived by these horrible doctors begging to die the image plus the details given is so horrific his skin and muscles were falling off of his body his body couldnt heal cause of the radiation and they kept him alive reviving him and keeping him alive even though he was bleeding through his eyeballs blood completely all over his body skinlessthese doctors should have been put in prison this was torturebut what really disturbed me was thinking about how easy it is to die how this man was so in pain begging for death that he wanted to die more than anything saying hes not a guinea pig and the doctors kept reviving him making him suffer longerin that image hes just a skeleton hes not even human anymore it doesnt make any sense by any means how he lasted as long as he did but the doctors and scientists clearly didnt care about him at all there was no recovering from that he was deadnow lately im trying to play my games and everything but stupid little games and games with death in them seem so pointless or horrible now with how easily and soon we can die and how you could be begging to die in any moment how painful it could be how just sitting around playing a stupid little pointless game means nothing while something like that has happened and could happen i could be dying of cancer right now and have no clue i could die any secondi tried to play my favorite game team fortress  and i couldnt i sat there in a server as heavy thinking about that image the bloody skeleton of a somehow still alive radiation filled man who wasnt even man anymorei hate that im sitting around doing nothing and i hate that death could come so easily that the world is so painful and cruel and here i am sitting here playing pointless games instead of doing something to help iti wish i could be researching science or something anything making a step away from thisi dont know how to get my mind off of this or just not let it control me i didnt know i had innocence to loseif you have any advice or help please do say somethingalso if you know where i should post this instead of depression  please tell me i cant think of a keyword to search to rant about something as dark and depressing as this and i need help with dealing with itthis is the link to the article please do not view it if you are already dealing with depression like i am drifting in and out of or if anything i said above made you uncomfortable if this really scarred me it will be much worse for you ,3.0
12394,ooooooothe boston university dance team is following me on twitter ,0.0
12395,lucalexa thanks  scared of dentists looks like i am going to have to get over it and go ,2.0
12396,r sorry to everybody who was planning to come out to the firemans carnival but we got rained out ,2.0
12397,back in la wishing i was still on the east coast ,2.0
12398,werdup trying tofred said you guys got the tickets alreadyi want to go to reggae fest too   im all about being busy this summer,0.0
12399,blegit whats worse than work on a saturday work on a sunday  try to hurry so you can still spend time w linda amp the kids,2.0
12400, happy graduation day bbyyyy ,0.0
12401,i think i spoke  soond owner of ta cenc called me  see if im available  to work as a poolgirl   maybe i start working this week ,0.0
12402, mornings are worse when they start before you go to sleep hope you get some rest ,0.0
12403,its sunday   so im at home relaxin,2.0
12404,i think im really losing my marbles howdy i think i might actually be going crazyive always been pretty depressed but i feel im deteriorating at a more rapid rate than before i can barely sleep  i havent really slept more than four or five hours a day for the past  months i feel like i want to cry almost constantly on top of it all ive developed crippling paranoia  i can barely go outside without feeling like im being targeted by criminals and i wake up multiple times in the night to make sure my house door is lockedyet somehow im maintaining a sane persona for everyone im in university right now and im frankly at the peak of my accomplishments right now im doing very well in school and i have a large circle of friendsbut im just so scared that im starting to slip i feel perpetually stressed and tired and i am so terrified that im going to lose what good things i have going on right now even though im surrounded by people i feel lonely every damn moment of the day nobody even knows im losing my mind right nowi just dont know what to do i regret refusing to take antidepressants when i was in high school i regret refusing to enter the psych ward when i had a complete eatingorder induced breakdown in middle school my problems have completely snowballed and im just so fucking scared of what i might becomei just desperately want to hold onto my sanity so i can keep this good thing i have going on i dont want to lose everything i have,3.0
12405,missing my family ,2.0
12406,ugh i hate nights like this thankfully my friends down the street are home if tornadoes head this way i hate not having a basement ,2.0
12407,bottomkicker i know  tomorrow night meyou,2.0
12408,meerasapra seriously it used to spend most of the time in my house  ,2.0
12409,me feeling depressed and here is the reason father  using me as a slave every single day telling me to clean the ground while he sits and watches television tells me to bring food for him everyday tells me to cook for him everyday and closes the internet when i dont do whatever he says  ,3.0
12410,noberts whoooooohooooooo congrats if you thought that was bad try a phd ,0.0
12411,brand of st johns wort that youve found worked i am looking to try st johns wort and have been researching various brands it is tough to know which reviews to go by as legitimate  it seems like hyperforin is the main component of the benefits but hypercins is typically found on the label the perika brand is the only one ive found that has hyperforin labeled but it looks like this a patent thing and other brands may also contain hyperforin perika also seems to have some mixed reviews they use this a lot in germany but those brands are unavailable in the us since i am going to try it i want to try a brand others have had luck with so it will better my chances of this working for me  a lot of the lab testing that ive come across seems to be a bit outdated as well is there a common brand people are using with the most benefits i am going to try it for mild depressionanxierty but do not want to experience fatigue as a result some people actually note an increase in energy when i try i will be sure to post back with results thanks for the help i am so confused lol,3.0
12412,sbdoll big huggles ty so much for the donation  xxx,0.0
12413,summer vacation ,0.0
12414,chrisefs i tryed that the other day but they werent giving up what they were using ,2.0
12415,had lots of fun on the rides today but now we all feel sick ,2.0
12416,won our game  made history i benched it lol oh well and now doing hw and starving gunna go made a chicken wrap,0.0
12417,im super lonely  im a  year old male and for the last month or two ive been homeschooled ive never done homeschooling before but my depression was so bad that my therapist recommended taking me out of the public school which my parents did and it has actually done wonders for my depression however i havent seen any of my friends since and i didnt have many to begin with now im super lonely and feeling the depression again although not as strongly as before does anyone know what i can do to feel less lonely or meet new people ive tried apps but nobody seemed to want to meet or talk to me probably cuz im one ugly sob ive tried hanging out with my friends but either we cant make plans or they bail on the ones we do arrange any ideas to help me,3.0
12418,  we are almost done though ,2.0
12419,joannayoung morning  its fresher here too but still gloriously sunny  heavenly if only i were on the cornish cliffs now,0.0
12420, not feeling too good   stupid weather,2.0
12421,rt amilidonis message to decisionmakers related to financial stability in cyprusthe stockwatchcy article shows trust within cyprus,0.0
12422,sofiesunshine we got there and there were no grey ones werent any at manc either booo no doubt see you at a summer show  xx,0.0
12423,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
12424,iamgaberosales oh i hope you do sometime ,0.0
12425,hugobiwan good morning and have a nice day ,0.0
12426,shall miss taping tomorrow  darn school hmph,2.0
12427,how can one cope even on good days i can often feel empty inside and i cant really push myself to care any suggestions,3.0
12428,i am fucking pathetic i dont have a single talent or good character trait i cant even speak english properly i dont have hobbies i am not good cat owner all that i do crying i am disappointment for my parents theyre such smart and nice people i wish they had born another person who deserves to live not me imagine bearing a fucking child and turns out the child is dumb disrespectful bitch who is depressed just because they will be depressed too if i die so im just continuing my existence and it has no point beautiful,3.0
12429,marteyo ooooh thanks sweetie im excited ,0.0
12430,i want to move but i dont want to move now that i have a chance things feel different ,2.0
12431,the phrase i use the most is definitely you do you because like i cant control what you do and its your life so why should i stress,1.0
12432,friday yn  just has pe and science   xx ,2.0
12433,ma maa tricked me yesterdayshe dint let me hav doze novelz ,2.0
12434, headshot ,0.0
12435,does anyone else feel like this male  duration of feeling i have never labelled myself as depressed i have never explored the idea that i could be depressed yet since the age of  i have felt continuous selfloathing and worthlessness it has made me withdraw from all my  now former  friends it has led to stale relationships with family it has led to me not even trying to pursue new connections or try anything bold i havent been intimate with a girl since i was  i havent even attempted initiating dialogue with a girl since then the only thing that has kept me going is my progression through university im about to graduate next month i keep thinking that i can wait it out and the feelings will pass but they dont its suffocating if i have a good month or two where i branch out my mind just clings to isolation where i can at least feel worthless free from othersyet i wake early every morning and get a good amount of sleep every night i keep a tidy living environment i eat well and exercise i read and explore challenging concepts to better myself none of it makes me feel any better i practice gratitude and only speak positively when around others but it does nothing to change the way i feel about myself since ive been like this for a quarter of my life  and all my adult life  i barely know what its like to feel normal anymoresorry if this barely makes sense and sounds really selfindulgent im not the best at articulating this feeling id love to know if anyone else has experience of this ongoing dread despite all their efforts to set them self up for change if so how do you deal with it have you found that it passes on its own or did it require that you addressed it directly indication of any relevant materials or resources would be greatly appreciated thanks,3.0
12436,rt hatttiegladwell please dont say you have ocd because you like your flat clean have bipolar because you had a mood swing  have,0.0
12437,madamecupcake ok i tried  go ahead amp reply amp when i was  done my browser froze amp then crashed grr so i will wb later ok sorry  ,2.0
12438,work is already going poorly today ,2.0
12439,ahh refreshed shower and all now talking to bestie online ,0.0
12440,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
12441, i made the first one up its been a creative sorta day im hungry again too no one tells you abt the  detox hunger ,2.0
12442,how does anyone find the motivation to get out of bed seriously i have so much shit to do but all i want to do is lay in the dark hidden away from the world how does anyone find the motivation to do things it seems like an impossible feat i dont think anyone or anything could rouse me out of bed even if my best friend who i havent seen in a month wanted to hang out im pretty sure i wouldnt get out of bed id try but its not worth faking social interactions when youre depressed,3.0
12443,soundguy thanks for making qcon happen and firesheep thanks for the gracious hosting  been good seeing you both,0.0
12444,thatlass i hate it here  lived in deal most of my life its only  miles away but feels worlds apart,2.0
12445,eating cereal ,0.0
12446,i fucked up my life ive always been the smart kid academically then i fell into depression i let it take over me i wanted to run away from life freshman year of high school started and i couldnt handle it not the academically part but it was socially draining my depression was so bad i could barely get out of bed or even shower i failed all my classes because i had zero motivation to even try i was too afraid to ask for help so i carried all these problems i was facing on my own i thought maybe public school simply isnt for me so i tried online school thats when i fucked up my parents dont give a damn to help me nor did they ever teach me discipline plus i was depressed and had no motivation so naturally i fell behind and failed all my classes again putting me  grades behind so i tried another school program but the same kept happening now im supposed to be a senior graduating this year but instead im a failure with zero credits meanwhile all my classmates from public school are being accepted to colleges going to prom and baseball games basically enjoying the high school dream the movies portray i regret every decision ive made in my life i wish i wasnt so weak and lazy i wish i was motivated im a failure and my life is filled with nothing but regrets i still have hope though i know there are other options and i have a dream but i fucked up and made my life harder than it had to be fuck,3.0
12447,band practice tonight with a new singer im sooo excited all work and no play makes ylva wanting to become a rock star ,0.0
12448,hiiiiiiiiiiii with jennifer ,0.0
12449,in mr cohens class i miss having him as my teacher ,2.0
12450,no skyline  so crowded on a nice sunny afternoon good enough excuse for a second visit,2.0
12451,averymariah i have the odd hyper nights  they are bad really bad i run around until  the next day plus i scream my fave songs,2.0
12452,i screwed up with bills and disappointed my girlfriend quick background ive been diagnosed with major depressive and anxiety disorderim usually the one at our house who opens and sorts out our bills recently i gave my girlfriend two of her bills that she needed to pay and she read that one of them was an instalment bill that was overduei didnt realize at the time that it was the last notice for the bill and after it was overdue the whole payment would be transferred to a collection agencyshe got extremely upset and told me how disappointed and angry she was at me i apologized told her i was sorry and started to search what we could do nextfortunately we can ask the collection agency to pay the whole cost via instalments so there is really no harm done but i feel so awful by this whole situationi feel like i betrayed her trust and i feel so useless i am angry at how stupid i am for not noticing the whole thing,3.0
12453,trying not to break down in front of the kids im babysitting i am doing everything in my power to not break down in tears they ask why i dont want to play with them or why i always look sad i cant tell them that im broken inside that i want to go home and hang myself the moment their parents come home i cant do it anymore,3.0
12454,my cat got hurt yesterday  vet says quotgot squeezed in somethingquot but no serious damage  so nervas on painkillers looks pretty relaxed,2.0
12455,jgoneill its bloody terrifying ,2.0
12456,parents evening soon  not good,2.0
12457,michellecpa just dmed u ,0.0
12458,i feel empty but not sad idk life been normal ig,3.0
12459, is getting out the storm is theorized that hurts doesnt seem sad,2.0
12460,got salsa on my earphones  ,2.0
12461,talissalove nooo it was that black bean and sour cream burrito you gave me from baja fresh  iwant one,0.0
12462,dolcechic okim bad remind me tomorrow with a quick email and i will send them all over  first one though smashingmagazinecom,0.0
12463,i hate myself i have no skills and almost none of my irl friends ever talk to me or hangout with me they have a teamspeak they wont let me in and never invite to do anything only one of them ever speaks to me or ever does anything with me i am failing my online school have no opportunities in my shithole town and shithole high school im never gonna get a girlfriend my skills consist of rudimentary video editing that barely matter and thats it i want to get into music but i have no idea how i want to start voice acting but i have no idea for that either i like art but i have no skill in that everyday i just sleep half ass school work and talk to internet friends while others hang out and have fun irl i dont think i can do this until  when i go to college if i even have a high enough gpa to get in im miserable i can spend an hour just fantasizing about moving and getting friends that actually care about me,3.0
12464,i feel i dont have anyone to talk to im  and have been raped twice once by a boyfriend another by a stranger who broke into my room ive watched my foster father die my real parents maternal has dementia from substance abuse and my paternal is non chalant and acts more like a friend than a parent i have two friends one who lives with me one doesnt i feel the one who lives with me is tired of my qualms and the one who doesnt is flaky and self involved ive tried therapists but finding one i like is so trying i feel as though i have no one to talk to i signed up for a rape survivors group therapy but i never went then when i go to open groups theres people who go because their boyfriend isnt texting them back thats abuse its terrible i have no one to talk to i try writing but for me it makes it worse so i just watch sad movies and cry my feelings to those,3.0
12465,danielngsh the downside is one person one plate of  only ,2.0
12466,quotevery night has a playlistquot this was a great evening friends movie dinner food and blink  all the way home thanx guys ,0.0
12467, i am another physical theatre performer  thanks for the follow how are you,0.0
12468,left naked at iarebinky on her little ass bed  even though my feet stll hurt my nite was made ,0.0
12469,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
12470, damn man  i wanna be there,2.0
12471,time to get to busy and need to work and face the concrete jungle of nairobi   thank fully  days and them i am of to the bushes ,2.0
12472,jonasobsessedx duhh tio i love my handwriting in felt pens   amp im ofiiciialy in love with ur handwriting ,0.0
12473,tonight show with conan obrian   i love him this is awesome,0.0
12474,summer is so over ,2.0
12475,poopinpineapple i dont  i will probably remember tomorrow,2.0
12476,swatkatt just insane  wht happened to crazy mad nuts and evry thing else,2.0
12477,i want it to end id just type up an essay of how i feel but in all honesty youve probably heard it all ive been on this subreddit before and i had a more pretentious attitude because i enjoyed being a dickhead but now everything is worse ive been depressed for so long at this point the only happiness i had was my girlfriend who passed away which made everything worse i cant handle grief well i cant concentrate of anything i do not believe in any god or deity in my opinion everything will just go black once i die there is no meaning in anything no purpose no justice people who deserve good things get shit on and people who deserve bad things get whatever they please i dont think im a good person whatsoever but she wasi honestly just want to live from day to day trying to enjoy myself through the smaller things as much as i can until i drink myself to an early grave,3.0
12478,jordanknight as long as i have the  im there party on the boat where r we goin jamacia ,0.0
12479,todays my birthday and not one of my best friends have wish me i never felt so empty until today i just hoped that  or  of them remember itbut yeah im guessing that im not really that important to them,3.0
12480,esmeacullen hi esme ,0.0
12481, haha yeah they look very young but  when i have the time im going to listen to more songs ,0.0
12482,vanessaahudgens i will  you doing anything good today my days almost over haha lyou x,0.0
12483,its been  of my grandmothers passing and i cant move on long story short she was suffering from breast cancer dying slowly then died by accident    my mom and dad split up when i was  and i lived with my father since my father doesnt always have time for me because he needs to go abroad my grandmother and her  sisters took care of me because of that i grew up introverted i have lots of best friends but i dont open up to any of them     i am spoiled by my grandmothers but only one truely cared for me like a real mother she pretty much does everything for me ironing washing clothes cooking chores and groceries and was in her care until she got diagnosed with stage  breast cancer and gout last year january          its a very tough year cancer is painful the doctors said gout is even worse she is in agony for a year she cries very loudly like a child and sometimes yells i cant do this anymore  lord take me please and mom please take me with you and i was there hearing it allwhile in pain she still does everything washing cooking etc but there was one time that she could not stand up anymore          we did everything to ease her pain but none workeda year of her crying in agony really hurt me since i have no one to talk to about it     because of her i always go out and drink alcohol with friends as an attempt to relieve myself     a year of has passed january  the doctors successfully removed the tumor in her breast but there was nothing they could do with her gout she was in the hospital for a week so thats enough free time for me to drink actually almost forget whats happening    i came back home and she was there with all  sisters half of her face was drooping and tube wires everywhere in the house she struggled to smile at me i ran away crying outside and cried myself in a dark place after that i went home when everyone is asleep i went to bed and keep telling myself that is not her but i had no choice and continued to isolate myself         weeks later january     a small stitch in her breast wound opened up and we didnt know she pooped something very black and thats when we knew she was internally bleeding she was sent to a hospital via ambulance but its a dead on arrival cause of death is she ran out of blood    i was prepared for her peaceful death but not in a sudden one and thats why i was devastatedi suffered like normal people would but im actually not getting betteranyways thanks for reading,3.0
12484,um whats going on why is everyone sad,2.0
12485,identity loss has anyone had to deal with a loss of identityi was a musician  years ago and didnt get a new band and i cant let it go despite failures its just painful and i dont know what to do it seemed like the happiest times and big part of my identity but right now its ruining all relationships i have left,3.0
12486,pretty long day happy i saw aaron  he left again happy team xxplosive won their first game amphappy that lakers won the championship ,0.0
12487,  you look stunning my mom wouldnt let me go to the today show   still not really speaking to her,2.0
12488,why do i like ndubz amp where is the love just came on on shuffle for the first time in months and i can still rap it all ,0.0
12489,omg i love tht song its sooo suupeerrr sweet ,0.0
12490,why do i expect kids to help ,2.0
12491,feeling blank and empty i havent enjoyed anything i used to for the past few months my interest in learning decreased a lot tooi spend my day staring at my phone or computer screen all day because if i dont i feel like i will break downi do feel okay every now and then but theyre slowly getting more and more rarei cut off a close friend some time ago but i didnt feel anythingits like i wasnt affected at alli feel really detached from everything and im also nearly at my limitin addition to being a  yo introverted highschoolerits hard to get help where im at theres not much psychiatrists and therapists here and i dont have the courage to tell my parents about my depression,3.0
12492,hey alyankovic  bye al  weirdal live gt ,2.0
12493,bah silly server restarts messin with my game lol whatevs guess ill just have to read to kill some time ive missed reading ,0.0
12494,fresh install is looking good so far ,0.0
12495,sat suckkedd  home frm funeral,2.0
12496,mrjdomingo i want to know now ,2.0
12497,xbllygbsn oo you cant  ill finish yours off  lol jkjk  aaaaaah lunch in  omgomgomg staaaaaaaaaaarving lol ,2.0
12498,talkspace app has anyone here ever tried it i finally made a doctors appointment and theyre putting me on meds i was told it would be most effective combined with talk therapy ,3.0
12499,intrusive thoughts have now become casual i think wow i want to die or i want to kill myself or i fucking hate my life many times casually throughout the day for no reason at allwhile i do feel like that very constantly most of the times these thoughts come up im not even thinking about destructive things like they simply decide to bless me when im studying reading eating just walking they just pop in my head with the normality of a wow its hot in here or eh im hungry to the extent ill even ask myself mentally why the hell am i thinking about suicide out of the blue its very counterproductive because when i stop to wonder why am i contemplating death so suddenly i start to remember the reason why i feel so low and then ill really dive into the toxic thoughtsi dont know why it happens i think ive felt like this for so long that my brain has just trivialized suicidal ideation because of this i also consider killing myself as a viable solution to any hardship in my life test coming up overdose friend ghosts me for a day jump off a bridge slept too little and feel lethargic might as well throw myself into traffic i hate it so fucking muchdoes anybody else feel like that,3.0
12500,summer depression i have summer depression its exhausting i feel so empty so hopeless so irritated about the fucking sun i cant even shower or work im happier when i sleep during the day and stay active at night but after some weeks thats starting to feel lonely  yet im not in the mood for inviting someone home i keep reading online about how important it is to eat and do exercise yet when im depressed i tend to do binge eating and no matter what exercise it makes me feel like crap exercise can actually trigger suicide thoughts on me i dont know what else to do i hate summers and i hate feeling like this,3.0
12501,atxbrowncoats cant wait  were super excited ,0.0
12502,why everygirl i know falls in love with me ,2.0
12503,rt rgay not being able to eat my feelings makes me so sad every single day,1.0
12504,lilmdp i have one  for hosting  have a look at dreamhost  discount coupon included  ,0.0
12505,thanks again to everyone who came out to the show it was a great night on stage hopefully we gave you a great night off stage too ,0.0
12506,i wanna fcking feel something i cant take this shit anymore i am emotionally numb but i can still somewhat feel things if that makes sense its just that it feels like theyre stuck behind a very thick brick wall and i can hear their faint screams but they never manage to break through the wallwhenever i feel something that is supposed to be positive i feel like crying like im going to break down and i dont know whylike when i look at the person i love i notice so much feelings of love stuck behind that brick wall and i want to cry but i canttheres so much tension inside but i cant find a way to let it out i used to release tension by crying but i cant cry much anymore and when i do its only  teardrops for like one minute and then im numb againit leaves me feeling like i want to vomit like i want to scream until my throat is bleeding but i am never able to scream i wonder if screaming would help ive never tried iti know there are emotions but i dont know how to break through that wall the tension is such a localised tension and pain in my chest  that i could cut it out of my chest or stick my hand inside and rip it out but i cant do that i dont know what to do i ask for advice and help everywhere but no one can help me im genuinely worried that ill never be able to feel and think clearly again because brain fog isnt helping either i dont know how to seperate myself from my demons anymorei dont know how to help myselfim going to travel after i graduate but i know that travelling wont fix everything  because i cant run from my own head this is such a mess ,3.0
12507,amoorejr not yet  i havent been by a computer but as soon as i do ill let u kno,2.0
12508,there are no real friends my brain is maybe telling different but i cant believe it i dont believe that anybody on this world can be real friends with me maybe some do but i cant trust in it i cant trust anybody and nothing,3.0
12509,i can see myself in the movies with my picture in city lights    soooo true,0.0
12510,why is there never any good tv on bank holidays no this morning or loose women ,2.0
12511,i have been pushing so many things away i need help i apologize for the order these are in i am not good at storytelling i push things away that involve love or friendshipbackground my dad abused me and left my mom  i was sexually abused by my babysitters brother i have seen my mom date many guys and i never get attached fearing that they will leave me i dont get my hopes up feeling it wont happen ex one time my bff was gonna take me to gwl and i got super happy but my friends mom forgot about me 😞earlier today we were talking about my grandma and we brought up many things about her that were bad  she really is a bad person  but i notice i have been pushing them away any thought that she was bad was just pushed away while a good grandma would come to mind is there any way i can prevent this from happeningtopic   femaleheterosexual there was this valentines dance and i went to it with some friends of mine and we have fun but in the end one girl asks me to dance and i say yes while pretending to be oblivious and i have noticed that i do that with any interest i have in people we dance and afterwards i say well know i know how to slow dance another thing that had happened before the dance was another girl asked me if i was bisexual and i replied i dont know but im curious and i say why and she replies with how do you not know i knew what she meant i just ignored it hoping it to be the last thing to happenshe asked me out and i say i guess that night i told my mother  really supportive  and she asked me if i was sure i replied with  i dont know  and i decided not to,3.0
12512,netik any hints for the network geeks what the upgrade is ,0.0
12513,thatbitchlc run away to vegas now please ,0.0
12514,i cant believe my ipods broken ,2.0
12515,thanks to my sister i wont have my guitar classes today  im so sad ,2.0
12516,rt  one of the simplest ways to stay happy is  letting go of the things that makes you sadaldubdeeper,1.0
12517,nicholashomh get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
12518,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
12519,why do your suffer from stressinduced insomnia and panic attacks httpstcoeiqzifubrv,2.0
12520, is not no gay kid would dress the way he did check my facebook we chatted ,0.0
12521, i cant wait for new moon  ill be in america when it comes out so i can see it at the movies ,0.0
12522,cant sleep but is happy that the fugees are keeping him company ,0.0
12523,hello everyone im just sitting here rocking out to  sam on the air the best classic rock station on twitter here ,0.0
12524,instant relief from physical depressionampanxiety symptoms im just wondering if anyone out there has any remedies advice or instant reliefs from the physical symptoms of depression and anxiety im going through a break up and as much as im trying to experience my emotions i need a relief ,3.0
12525,microsoft bluetooth mouse is missing left it on the table at expo hall  mis table and now it is gone ,2.0
12526,is sitting at tiffany house wantin someone to build a fire but they want rite now ugh lol i miss him  love sucks,2.0
12527,shellykramer im all for mclinklove attending but i must request that you bring a bunch of your cute female friends ,0.0
12528,i tried that already steph ,0.0
12529,the saying really does suck i truly believe that one of the reasons im depressed is from a young age  people always would say kids cant be depressed and so i hid my emotions and kept them trapped for real people need to stop saying this shit because although they may just feel sad for that moment if you say that they will hide their emotions in the future causing them to manifest into serious mental health problems just a quick note as well every therapist ive been to has been shit like bruh ima bout to become a therapist to actually help people because i know the type of shit to say and do like i know that people dont want people to be professional they want them to be real and for them to swear,3.0
12530,just bought therecordlife new ep its amazing ,0.0
12531,alittlebit im sure anyone could find a crusty  on autotrader for about £  notwhatyouhadinmind,0.0
12532,checkin up with my credits despite the fact im an ab student ,0.0
12533,everything feels like it happened so long ago my emotions and memories feel so distant even if they are only from a few hours ago its so disorientating,3.0
12534,new years cheers for another dissapointing year of a wasted life with no prospects or hope dragging itself along a path made not for him but for people that are not wastes of skina life that no matter how much one tries to save or help it still goes towards the gutter for i am not that lucky nor am i smart or pretty im merely another nobody just that unlike other nobodies i have no talent neither i have status or money i am simply a sink a waste where people put in their undesired things to then forget about them this is the destiny of myself and even then one has to wonder why do i keep going what keeps someone as worthless as me goingperhaps its fear of death perhaps its some misguided hope or merely some sense of spiteanyway it cannot be really figured out and frankly i dont think the effort should be wasted on someone like meso again cheers to this miserable and useless live,3.0
12535,peteypinata as a nj native i thank u ,0.0
12536, yeah waited til i died it to tell me too pooheads  x,2.0
12537,marley crying for more ball throwingkeeps eying me through the door ,2.0
12538,rt anneortelee  edt venus semisquares the sun theres a little stress between being all about it and how you can actually get it d,2.0
12539,jeonmicdrop this just makes me sad,1.0
12540,jasonwestwater im crying now that you sent me that because i dont have an iphone  i wish though someone hook me up,2.0
12541,finding out a song you had no idea was a cover is actually indeed that  and then thinking that that is awesome makes my day ,0.0
12542,stuffed pizza rolls yummy  to all the stuff i cant eat,2.0
12543,siralmo  no mateyou would be invigorateddo you goodlol ,0.0
12544, i absolutely love you  thanks,0.0
12545,hpnutter i know the class needs to tweet this would be so cool if we all had itsharkboy tonight awesome ,0.0
12546,mizujin no i think somehow cat hair got near my eye or something and it wont stop watering and is itchy and red all over ,2.0
12547,ophelia awwwww very cute in his pjs ,0.0
12548,beebopbecky the blink  concert i was gonna go to is postponed    ,2.0
12549,haha going to bed ttyl hahaha ill probably be sleeping till  lmao lvatt is amazing  and so is the little booklet  get your copy t,0.0
12550,nathanayres sorry youre not doing too well ,2.0
12551,rt rebornblessing mandi bisa jadi sarana meditasi dan menenangkan diri saat air menyentuh tiap inci kulit rasakan saja ia mengalir v,1.0
12552,is watching mamma mia  was much better at the cinema ,2.0
12553,how do i tell my mom i genuinely hate self diagnosing which is why i want to tell my mom im just not sure which route i should take,3.0
12554,doin homework  amp the weather is crap   lol oh well,2.0
12555,have to clean the house ,2.0
12556,wtf lost my card to get into my apt ,2.0
12557,i feel empty i dont know what to feel anymore i feel like i cant even talk anymore like my mouth has been sewn shut a couple of ex friends have been trying to get me back i pushed them away but no matter how i tried how much i thinki cant talki dont know what to talk about i dont know what will make them laugh im way too afraid to strike up conversation fuck im way way too afraid just to say how are you doingi hate the feeling of loneliness but here i am alone and hating myself all thats left of me is the feeling of emptyness,3.0
12558,everything is disgusting im withdrawing from my incredibly effective medication at the moment because of poor liver results and alongside all the generic misery and what not haha i cant believe how literally disgusting everything has become i can smell everything and im trying to eat dessert over the stench of who knows how many main courses for the first time my dogs bed smells like a dogs bed when i eat its like theres a slug in my throat all i can imagine is the stench of other peoples bodys when previously i would value the scent of people i loved looking forward for this to be over,3.0
12559,have depressionyesyou suffer from premenstrual syndromethis causes immediate deathtry prozac,2.0
12560,i miss my hobbies c vent all these posts of people drawing painting gaming playing sports knitting sewing hiking biking and every other hobby under the sun are hitting me hard for some reason my husband gets to stay at home and do whatever he wants too hes happy enjoying his time off playing all the new release games spending time with the dog catching up on sleep everything non essential is closed in ontario so that includes his job but not mine meanwhile my life is the same boring routinework go home clean cook clean again shower and go to bed wake up early for work again all with added stress over getting sick and a huge increase in work load because of increased customers and time spent sanitizing my whole store every hour and restocking shelves my bosses and managers are too scared to show up  so its just me all by myself  running their stupid fucking pet store while they spend time with their families nobody checks in on me or asks how am i doing they call once a day to remind me to clean the store and wear gloves i say there are no more gloves can you bring some by and his response is we are at home im sorry you will just have to buy some yourself and we will cover the costs so now i have to risk more exposure and time doing their shopping just to keep myself safe i miss my hobbies i used to draw and pretty well too i used to paint and assemble miniatures  i used to walk my dog and take him to the park i have a nintendo switch and i never even use it i pay for a netflix account for just my family to use i work very hard i deserve a break too i would love to quit my job and stay home with my husband and our dog and isolate like everyone else i would love to draw again i would love to exercise and lose some weight i would love to lay back and play some video games with no stress but then we would go hungry bills would go unpaid and we would lose everything we have no savings no stock pile we have nobody who would help us i dont want to lose my home the government isnt going to help me i have to keep working if youre home with your family and complaining of boredom please stop enjoy every second you have with them some of us only dream of that reality please make the most of it if you have it rant over,3.0
12561,sophieharding ah my brother has them in his room  might have to borrow it soon im reading north and south at the moment though,0.0
12562,my mominlaw is coming to help us out thanks abrandstrom ,0.0
12563,hello for the first time question and vent someone let me know if anything im doing is against the rules here because i cant make sure i saw everything as im on mobile atmi came across this subreddit and thought id make my first reddit account  post here as im feeling pretty awful and need to hear something other than life gets betteri used to have depression long ago through some means found myself partially recovered still had most secondary symptoms and all but the main heavy feeling i had  somehow had lifted for reasons i cant seem to understand and that lasted maybe a year and a half with a couple short temporary relapses and such nothing too bigif talking about this is against the rules then id gladly edit or delete my post just let me know i used to go to therapy and while personally it didnt help my depression talking to someone about my current issues lightened the load ive gone without therapy for about  of a year by now lately more than ever ive felt like i needed to go back even if only to make sure im safe and in case of a long lasting crisis im able to tell someone and have the option of going to a mental health facility that can take care of me better than a therapist could but my mom thinks im better and wont help me schedule another appointment i cant possibly explain to her that im doing this bad again shell force me out of my room and make me spend less time doing what i enjoy and thats the last thing i need right now i know i wouldnt have her supportim over  now but for some reason i just cant handle any of the necessary adult stuff such as scheduling appointments and handling insurance my mom is glad to help me out with everything just not the things i need most like therapy and doctors appointments and its incredibly frustratingnone of my family talks to me either and with the way my mom has been changing lately shes more carefree with what she tells who shes more likely now than ever to blurt out any of my personal problems just to make conversation with someonethe only reason im up at almost  in the morning is because im feeling horrible yet again with an intense urge to self harm again ive been clean for maybe  years now but for the last month in my mind ive been making up a scenario where im able to do it again while everyones out of the house and hide the evidence and make it so it goes unnoticed but this is not what i should be doing i thought i was recoveredi guess my question is has anyone else here gone through depression recovered and then a long while later it came back just as hard as before how common of an occurrence is thisit seems like the whole concept of this subreddit is support without the fake surface level shoulder pats that the rest of the world gives and that feels like what i need right now someone to tell me this is normal someone going through it tooim supposed to wake up soon i have something to do in the afternoon but one of the symptoms that hadnt gone away even though the overall depression did was the trouble waking up and getting out of bed but now that everythings back the reason im having trouble getting out of bed these days is because im sick of the routine of having to get up and shower and get ready just so i can go somewhere and have doctors and nurses harass me for something i cant quite handle on my own yet as if helping me isnt what theyre hired for im ready to just give up on these appointments but i have to go for my health its troublesomeeverything in my life feels like its pointless even though its necessary i want to give up on it all and never see the sun againand the fact that i go from wanting to see every corner of the world and greet everyone with a big smile to this seemingly overnight its extremely upsetting i was on the path of getting my life back but now im stuck right back where i was depression has a hold on me yet againand i forgot to mention i no longer have any friends as theyve all moved on with their lives and either have a job a family or are going to college the last friend i had seems to have cut off all contact with me besides the occasional happy new year to make it seem like she still cares so this subreddit i guess is the closest thing i can have to a community of some sort at the moment i cant seem to find it in me to actually talk to people unless they say hello first so posting here is as far as i can take myself for nowsorry this post is so long ive tried cutting it down as much as i could but i cant seem to get any thought of mine out within  paragraphs or less these days,3.0
12564,all the hot arab boys are over at crazymadzys place omg no fair ,2.0
12565,i really miss rane  ,2.0
12566,downeyisdowney metoo itll represent my honor ,0.0
12567,comfortability vs restlessness my entire childhood i thought i knew more than every one elsethought i was meant for more that my purpose would find me i had high hopes big dreams and about a hundred passions to this day i feel more than i knew existed i love things and people i hardly know and i hurt all the time constantly battling ways to escape when i drive down this specific winding road i think what if i kept straight instead of veering right what if i just smash my car into that short metal barrierim afraid of heights so i figure i wouldnt get myself pass a bridge gate never mind actually jump but more times than not id drink myself into a coma id do drugs and id drive more often than not i hope so badly that someone would crash into me been in a few fender benders and they were all my fault a careless driver ive spent hundreds of dollars on speeding tickets alone that extra step though that one extra faulty move that i know would take me out i never seem to cross so my fight instinct must take over then i wake up the next day forcing myself out of bed but those days when i drink my tea and eat breakfast and head out to the gym those are my favorite days the ones when i actually woop fitness ass and dont focus on the unlikely chance that every single person in the gym is watching my every move those are the best days or when i can go to work and make everyone laugh instead of analyzing their facial expressions and cold body language towards me trying to rack my brain of all the things ive recently said or done that turned me into a awkward childesque moron or a pretentious asshole to them those days i can actually sit down and have a conversation with my mother my father or my brother alone without panicking and hearing an echo of my own voice while my face gets hot then turns red and the embarrassment just dominoes itself there are a few days that make breathing being sober and social worth it very few and far in between but some how those days keep me at the edge of breaking point but i know i cant survive on my own i want to leave this state  thinking a change in environment will save my future selfi just need to change so far the only way i think i can do that is by joining the military for the last year i have been back and forth with a recruiter though recently my indecisive what if part of the brain came up with another ingenious way to flakei shouldnt flake im not worthy here around my family and the people i call my friends im not worth their effort or time not yet but i can be maybe or its a really dumb idea wtf,3.0
12568,shaheen was my favourite but he will go far no matter what diversity really deserved it and all the best to them great guys ,0.0
12569,  djbawlzy wearyisjosh kingofnazeroth theazngaming oghitmarkers here you go djbawlzy moya s ,2.0
12570,i am a proud owner of a brand new  nissan altima  super black in amp out ,0.0
12571,i kinda feel disappointed    toto ive got a feeling were not in kansas anymore,2.0
12572,its hard  get back to quotschoolquot after pesachs holiday ,2.0
12573,shower time yay ill finally be clean ,0.0
12574,been laying out all day ,0.0
12575,jasonbraaten you should make it  just to be safe ,0.0
12576,what happens when a stress expert battles mental illness outsidemagazine ,2.0
12577,offf my legs are killing me  so hungry  the mix is calling me ,0.0
12578,aghhh i cnt work with this twitter jail aghhh ,2.0
12579,jellybabynet yeah some professional photographer we all had to sign a consent form last week missed the session with c though ,2.0
12580,ur biggest challenge is not the stress but overcoming it stress relief is easier than u think learn how today httpstcoiirldzhbch,1.0
12581,exploring google sites its cool and fun ,0.0
12582,fooie yes they did and one year in uni already ive seen much smarter boys around ,0.0
12583,i think im in house all day because of the weather ,2.0
12584,oh my god im actually so sad i just want him to be okay and i dont ever want all these negative horrible things t ,1.0
12585, i did talk to stacy some time last week cant remember which days  i know so many r just like friends they r great ,0.0
12586,im boken im drowning and losing everything all dates are aprox i have a shit fucking memory and trying to put an exact year on all this shit is impossiblearound  i was hospitilized after a suicide attempti was put on prozaci gained close to  pounds from what i remember and i was nearing  pounds by age  i dont know how much i gained i dont have any medical records but i remember having conversations with my doctors at the time about my weight gain the type of depression i had back then was very high energy sobbing really intense emotions they put me on welburtin i lost all the weight and remained a healthy weight throughout high schooli was mentally okay for the majority of that time as wellthen it stopped working around  i was put on prozac at that time i didnt know that prozac was what i was on all those years agosoi gained  pounds i went from a size  to size  where i am nowim obese and unhealthyduring the first few years of being on prozac i was eating once a dayive struggled with anorxia my whole lifei was going to the gym for hours a day i met one of my good friends there he and i have had conversations about how much i was there and how thin i used to be around so in  when the medicine started to stop working i felt empty i had no emotions i felt nothing i couldnt be angry i couldnt be sad i couldnt be happy relationships ended i started drinking every daythe empty apathy i felt was absolutely life ending so about two months ago around november my doctor put me back on welburtin and here i am ive lost  pounds but i am losing everything  my boyfriend and i arent happy because of how empty i am i feel nothing i dont feel connected to anyone anymore im not loving towards him anymore im just not happyand it isnt because im not happy with him im just not happy with anythingi spoke with my doctor and he told me that the disconnection is a part of the way welbutrin works it works by bringing emotions down which makes sense because that was the type of depression i had when i was originall put on this stuffwhich makes sense why it worked for mebut now it does notive never been so emotionally happy than when i was on prozac but i am almost  poundsit made me hungry it made me eat more a little later on my journey with it at frist like i said i wasnt eating more and i still worked out a buncharound  i gave up i was about  pounds at that point last night my boyfriend and i talked about everything and it sonds like we might break upwere not happybut im not happy because of me my brain is fucking brokenits not because i dont want to be with himi never had a problem until i started taking the new meds that made me feel numb so i decided myself to go back on the prozac and when i talk to the doctor  im just going to ask him for what other options  weight loss pills starving myself working out for hours a day again i just want to be happy i actually lost  pounds in the last month and im really really really hreatbroken about the fact that im  for the first time in forever and itll all go away once i go back on the medicine that actually made my life okay and will save me from myselfim sorry for all the things,3.0
12587,i hate when people feel sorry for me others sympathy makes it so hard for me to open up it always feels like i can eithera show people who i really am and tell them how i really feel attracting unwanted sympathy and unwanted efforts to fix my problemsb hide everything related to how i feel on a daily basis and what ive experienced in my life i feel like my friends dont really know me but at least i dont have to feel like im starting a pity party its really upsetting that i cant just tell people things how they are i dont want anyone to be affected by how i feel i just want someone to know,3.0
12588,back from dinner w my family im not meeting christine anymore  sunny weather tomorrow and a day out amp about i want red bull,2.0
12589,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
12590,tired  been working coaching soccer and getting fire station ready for bbq fundraiser this weekend  on tommorow,2.0
12591, no sunset rainy sydney evening maybe  good shots    meeting the tour group tomorrow at  game on,2.0
12592,my poor little kitten got stuck lost in my apartmentlucky i finally found her ,0.0
12593,going to see up in  chyeaa hit up the celll ,0.0
12594,imjstsayin i actually like them toowhen i am at home ,0.0
12595,is lounging around ,0.0
12596,sexciikeykey it wont rain cause i say so ,0.0
12597,i dont know ,2.0
12598,ive finally come to the realization that i may be depressed  for the past couple of years ive been in sort of a funk ive gained a substantial amount of weight and have loss a desire to do anything about it about  months i took a new job in a new city pretty far away from everybody i know and love thinking itll be good for my career and also to help shake this funk im going through everywhere i go i have a ton of friends and have no problem making them lately though its not enough i have a girlfriend who is great but i have this urge to end things with her for no apparent reason i get in to work late almost everyday and most days i sit there and do absolutely nothing then after work i go home and do absolutely nothing its as if my motivation has completely vanished my apartment is dirty and i dont want to clean it originally i thought i was just being lazy but it seems clearer that there is an underlying issue im embarrassed to tell anybody especially my parents i told my girlfriend earlier today and she said she has noticed ive changed since we first met im not sure what to do because i cant remember a time i was truly happy i used to play a lot of sports and i used to go out and party and have fun all the time but the urge to do any of that is gone im not really sure what the point of this post is other than to get it off my chest and to actually admit that i have a problem im just not sure of anything in life right now other than the fact that i want to be happier by the way suicidal thoughts have never crossed my mind i just want to feel normal again and be that happygolucky ball of fun that everybody else sees but i dont feel ,3.0
12599,given up on the maths            ill just fail higher i dont care ,2.0
12600,struggling not liking anything at all lately stressed out from work home family everything is a struggle and i hate feeling so lonely,3.0
12601,paulaabdul yeeees i went to a great comedy show ,0.0
12602,everythings a distraction go to work help people out with bullshit computer stuff that really doesnt matter come home have some drinks game workout here and there try to keep in touch with friends or relatives as best as i can think about the good times when i was happy in between all of this its as if its in the back of my mind all the time im chasing my old brain somewhat the one where i didnt even know what depression was i kindve dont give a shit anymore about so much i used to care about all the little things in my life get good grades workout and be fit socialize it used to work i used to live in the present i can hardly remember the past two years honestly now i just look forward to sleeping i joke about being this way but its honestly terrible i wish i was me my old self before all of these thoughts,3.0
12603,getting this off my chest ive struggled with depression for  years im  and have probably tried it all i started ketamine infusions last week as a lastditch effort to treat my depression since i started them im not feeling quite as depressed anymore but im angry now like really seriously irrationally angry all the time i hate feeling this way and cant decide which was worse this or the depression anyway just wanted to vent this to people who might understand thanks for reading,3.0
12604,whens the last time you felt happy i dont think ive been generally happy with my life in years i have the same things to be thankful for i just cant feel the gratitude or the joy i have moments of fleeting happiness of course but it doesnt last and is always ripped away from me by my mind eventually i fear ill never be happy again even with the help of professionals and medication i wonder if its just lucky people who get to be happy however they define it whens the last time you felt happy even if it didnt last long ,3.0
12605,munching on tidbits is bad ,2.0
12606,raytoro nobody of mcr answers  ah it does not repair in my english this translator is a nastiness ha,2.0
12607,am i lost  i  lost my family due to bad decision making on my side and mental illness  agoraphobia lost my  years girlfriend lost my job at the moment i  have  money no place to go to im quite literally a soon to be hobo  im living in a friends house for a few days but i have to leave soon i  joined an ecocommunity as a volunteer and im waiting to move there  for  months and restart my life is it a good choice or am i completly  lost im so scared right now,3.0
12608,thatssonotaword all hail yahoo translate ,0.0
12609,nkotblorib  not doin so gooddamnit i didnt get to ask him   i had heard sumthin bout vegas thodunno if its true,2.0
12610,samush allah sarki say quothiquot to bee for me ,0.0
12611,and with that im letting go of my sour grapes ,0.0
12612,just spoke at the us navy  public affairs symposium in awe of these people got invited to do a carrier landing omg ,0.0
12613,back in the boring office ,2.0
12614, hey ,0.0
12615,changedmahmind anxiety does both of those things to me,0.0
12616,has just designed another tshirt ,0.0
12617,no early finish today  suns out as usual sigh,2.0
12618,reaaalllyyyy want to go to cornwall ,2.0
12619,it would be great if the library served food cuz im hungry but still need to study too bad they fear bugs thatll eat the books ,2.0
12620,doesny know how to work this ,2.0
12621,having a bad time with friendships i just lost my best friend not to death or anything but i did something dumb amp i feel like it was all my fault it partially was i said something i shouldnt she wont talk to me anymore she wont even look at me or pretend to hear me if she can help it i just want to know what i can do i want to fix it i shared everything with her she was genuinely the best thing in my life but i messed it up as always does anyone have any advice at all on any potential way i could talk apologise to her anything she said she needed space a few months ago i confronted her some time ago wondering what happened to my best friend but she said she was happier without me amp never wants to talk again ive had a history with mental health problems psychiatrists amp diagnoses so im posting here i just dont know where else to go i just want my best friend back,3.0
12622,microsoft press conference sucks have to wait till tomorrow for sony ,2.0
12623, lol dont forget im hidin in ur suitcase for ur trips  ,0.0
12624,finally on the way to disneyland for my birthday made it as far as gilroy tonight ,0.0
12625,berekah glad to know i am not alone with the idol  i did enjoy biggest loser on wednesdays i am usually busy with church anyway,0.0
12626,missing hakish ,2.0
12627,nickjonas i wanna go to larry king  awww  why i have to live in chile  ,2.0
12628,chatting with my sister on fb  she needs to get on this twitter thing  smart puppy peed on the floor   she was doing good,2.0
12629,dont call em ,1.0
12630,after  hours in bed ive decided that i dont feel like sleeping ,0.0
12631,why am i taking courses over the summer  im classy in all the wrong ways ,2.0
12632,how am i supposed to start  ive been depressed for as long as i can rememberim on prozac and abilify and everything is going great im happier i eat and sleep almost correctly but how the fuck am i supposed to get back on tracks im  years old ive been a neet for  years now have no friend i live with my momi have no idea what to do i have some new energy i managed to clean my dirty depression nest bedroom i often cook and do house chores but thats all im so bored all the timebefore treatment it was ok i had no energy no willpower just smoking a j and sleeping all day long but now im losti see my mom doing almost nothing all day long my brother the same and im going crazy litteraly walking in circles in the housei dont want to do anything alone i have so much difficulty in enjoying things,3.0
12633,i love five guys wish i was home in dc no five guys in the midwest ,2.0
12634,jennejones i went to google on my bb searched for twitterberry and downloaded it on my bb from there  its coolness  check it ,0.0
12635,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
12636,laurenxexcarter thats upsettinq ,2.0
12637,read this or dont i dont mind its just a rant its about  here and ive felt its just time to write something down again however this time it is on this internet platform rather than paper in hopes that someone finds this relates to it and feels like they arent alone out therehaving a place where i dont have to lie is powerful so here i goive been struggling with depression for years anxiety too its a great combination all my life ive worked on perfecting how to hide it and only having a select few know just so i could get by even then i still felt quite alone no one ever had enough time for me and the ones i knew irl would never make effort to see me out of school i was always flipping through thoughts of why im still walking the earth i mean really i had no reason to be herenow everythings out there i made mistakes when i started college trying to ask for more help from my so called friends i went to see a doctor and counselor behind my parents back because i was old enough for privacy laws but i through myself into the biggest grave ive ever dug i told someone about my true mental state in a time of extreme turmoil to someone i didnt completely trust this friend called the cops on me and almost got me put in a hospital fully knowing that i just needed to be calmed down and that i have extreme fear of mental hospitals and that extreme stress will set off panic attacks so you can imagine how that went now everyone close to me knows everything including my parents im on meds not that they know they dont help i go to a counselor which does nothing for me and i hide at home or my bfs house he lives with his mom and sister still all the time just to try to get away at home i just get yelled at for being this way and doing nothing ever so now my goal is only to get awayi hate everything i always fight with my parents because im failing school and i lie about everything including dropping classes because i cant convince myself to even attend i fight with them because they think im fucking up my life and that i cant ever do anything anymore and that im selfish for giving up on myself i fight with my bf all the time due to childhood abuse and relationship issues i cant attain any friends because i just end up hiding at home and dont socialize anymore anyone that knows me is asking where the old my name went i dont know where she wentim especially fighting with myself because i cant ever win i cant get myself to do anything i just go to work to feed my pet snake and pay my bills i go to my bfs hoping for comfort and escape and i go home to try to either sleep away my problems or bounce around on the internet to try to find something to do to cheer me up and help me forget and always failingi cant find anything in this world to love as a hobby or activity my life is boring seen as black and white i enjoy nothing as i use to and i cant convince myself to try i cant off myself because im too kind and care too much about my bfwhich i literally baby i do everything and pay for everything and drive anywhere we need to go and i cant leave my snake behind because i know no one will take care of her these are the only two reasons i stay even then i still cant help my suicidal thoughts and my tendency to want to draw on my skin again although ive been clean a little over a year now its absolute helli just feel like sleeping forever but then i also wish for the day i could actually live a decent life and things be better i dont really want to give up on life i just cant convince myself to keep going anymore ive truly given up and just sit in my own mess of thingsall i want now is to move out work a decent job and to live a semi decent life not to desire to escape  but i dont see that as a option so im screwed anyway if youve made it this far down the rant thanks for listening to what i had to say its much appreciated hopefully youve found something you were looking for here if you have anything to say or add or even questions i guess comment and ill try to reply thanks 🌙,3.0
12638,tiffanydime ohand dinner is in order ,0.0
12639,i remember i could not wait for my bday when i was youngerbut now that im olderi dont want that shiti wanna be a kid again ,2.0
12640,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
12641,dewme thats fine ,0.0
12642,i legit got teary eyed because ian is not in the cab anymore ,2.0
12643,im having such a horrible night ,2.0
12644,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
12645,i dont understand how am i supposed to survive hiive struggled with my mental health all throughout my childhood i had to enroll in independent study throughout high school because i couldnt survive the first semester and ended up graduating a year late all due to my debilitating depression and other mental health struggles im currently a community college student through school its becoming more and more obvious to me that i do not have the capacity or skill set to function in the real world i have to take half my classes online or else i get panic attacks from being in crowded places for too long it seems like everything keeps getting worse my last friend moved away a year ago and i recently ended things with my now ex girlfriend people my age dont like me because im not cool and dont know how to socialize like they would like me to so i spend more time by myself then i become even more disconnected and it becomes even more difficult to get to know anyone im starting to lose interest in my coursework and my mental health is dwindling so my grades are suffering i was sure i wanted to be an mft or even a psychologist but i honestly dont know if im capable of holding a job like that or want to not that it matters because if im lucky ill barely pass my classes this semester which will close any opportunity of transferring to a good university ill be  next week and im no where close to being able to move out on my own my household is incredibly toxic my mom and brother have been stuck in survival mode since  everything is a test of dominance and getting the best of the other they are so anxious to manipulate others and put them down because they think their lives depend on it its very rare to receive any genuine support or feeling of safety here but i dont have anywhere else to go ive tried so hard to work i really have on my eighteenth birthday i attended the first workshop of a work training program i was barely able to get through two of those programs which consisted of working no more than  hours a week i am still with that organization and working with them to improve my ability to work but im starting to feel very hopeless the only reason its worked with them is because theyre so accommodating and really care about getting people on their feet i tried to branch off from them and find work on my own last summer but i kept getting intrusive impulses to drive my car off the freeway because i hated the idea of going to work so much i had to quit within a week because i got too close to actually doing it my brain will do anything to get out of something it doesnt want to do and i dont fear death enough for suicide to not be a solution to avoiding something im really passionate about art so passionate that i know i am bad at creating art but i still need to do it being bad doesnt discourage me enough to quit even though ive been bad for so long i would like to pursue a career in art but i feel like im so behind my artistic peers that i wouldnt be able to make any sort of living its already a difficult enough career but i wouldnt make it due to my lack of skill and inability to keep up with the demands of the industry i often picture what i would like my life to be like i would love to travel meet new interesting people create art that connects to people be active in a community i care about and eventually live in a cozy cabin in or near the woods but its all impossible i dissociate really badly and get sick whenever i travel too far from home im too poor and overall my mental health issues would interfere with anything all i can see in my realistic future is to live with my mom until she decides im too much of a burden she kicks me out im homeless probably kill myself because i cant see myself coping with homelessness i want out of this country i hate how streets look i hate corporate capitalism i hate seeing the ugly fucking mcdonalds logo i hate when i zoom out on google maps its just a fucking grid but im stuck here im too fucked up to do anything for myself tdlr depression has fucked up my life i cant work im miserable i dont like my life but my cognitions arent healthy or functional enough to change anything ive tried so hard,3.0
12646,lboogsdottv i do that all the time ,2.0
12647,about to graduate from college with no job no friends and depression the worst its ever been im graduating from college this may and i am the most depressed ive ever been ive slowly lost every single friend i have and even when i do reach out to people they rarely make efforts to hang out with me ive always struggled with depression and anxiety but i used to have things to look forward to at least i used to look forward to coming home after work and watching tvnetflix or making a cup of coffee on the morning but now those things dont bring me any joy or relief whatsoever ive lost interest in everything i dont have the energy to even begin the job searching process much less get myself to class most days with every day that i waste in bed the more guilty and useless and worthless i feel i just dont know how i can possibly enter the working world with my mental state the way it is ,3.0
12648,thinks its funny that she has  updates coz she took the  bus home this arvo ,0.0
12649,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
12650,does anyone else not want it to get better ive been thinking about this a lot lately i dont want to get better i just want life to stop i really just want to die i wish i could commit suicide but im not strong enough ,3.0
12651,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
12652,something tells me that the majority of mtv movie awards viewers tonight will be just for twilight categories and new moon trailer ,0.0
12653,rt lyndseyshannell amaaxo  llydiaaaaa  lmaooooooo ,1.0
12654,michaeltolcher ohh ill go to us next week but ill go bosotn to a family and school for learn english but i cant go to see u    l,2.0
12655,loobylu got the cards thanks ,0.0
12656,im not gonna be able to make it tonight its my line sisters birthday  thanks  the invite,2.0
12657,lukemelarkey ktleung 🤷‍♀️ youre just wrong and i feel sad for you,1.0
12658,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
12659,only just woke up   hours sleep is so great i want a costa hot chocolate with marshmellows xxzx,0.0
12660,is  out there awake  dis hour i cnt sleep ,2.0
12661,isacutie i have bangsit was good but sa sobrang haba i cut it kaya ung sa middle partshorter than the side part ,2.0
12662,gym is done yanks rained out ,2.0
12663,no matter how bad things get no matter how far down i fall how fatigued and weary and sick i feel how strongly i want to hurt myself or wish everything would go awaythere are short periods of time where im lying in bed after a bath watching tv or some sort of stream playing a video game or listening to nice music while staring at the ceiling — comfortable and calm there are short periods of time where amidst the storm i am in fact oki want to experience more of these moments because they feel so nice,3.0
12664,theprincebeme hahaha naaaah now youre hella lying ,2.0
12665,ekzmn hi ely i hope so la ,2.0
12666,thank god for aunts who encourage getting your drankkk on ,0.0
12667,found a spider in the house im scared and cant sleep ,2.0
12668,all dressed in the doggy scrubs haha first day at my internship ,0.0
12669,coming to terms with depression ive always been the listener everyone with problems came to me my problems always seemed so minor in comparison so i buried them and just dealt with them because i always knew id be ok dynamics of a relationship i was in a few years ago that i wont go into ended badly for us and i could feel a mood setting in the self loathing began my mood tanked the loneliness crept up and an episode persisted only a day at first only came every couple of months  years later and the last few months have really started to take hold of me know my best friend has depression so i see what he encounters and how he ends up responding my recently former girlfriend fights suicidal feelings we agreed to take a break because our life stresses were too much to work out together but live stresses her circumstances and buring my problems my whole life have caught up with me  now the void the desire to isolate every turn the lack of motivation i was already a lazy procrastinator has manifested itself even moreso i know this is still the beginning i havent really reached the point where ill truly understand how my depression affects me but im afraid of where itll go how itll affect my career my parents myself even things take a turn for the worse i guess i felt the need to throw this out there i know im not a danger to myself right now but the uncertainty of what is to come is the scariest thing ive encountered and i fear for anyone thats around to experience it,3.0
12670,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
12671,folllow binkieer before she kick my ass ,2.0
12672,gives in revising king lear for the day uh ,2.0
12673,i ended up bumming a ride from my mom i hate doing it but shes heading the same way and i had to get to class  stupid late bus,2.0
12674,tyamdm dammit re which part i can call you out on your crazy if youd like ,0.0
12675,rt healingmb forgiveness can lead to greater psychological wellbeing less anxiety stress and fewer symptoms of depression httpstc,2.0
12676,nooooo   came on not right now when im sad and heartbroken 🤧,1.0
12677,to keep a diary do you guys think maybe keeping a diary would help dealing with everyday struggle id like to address to  dear friend like charlie did in the perks of being a wallflower or something in reality it can be for anyone for my future self or for my friends and family if i should decide to end my life one day does anyone actually keep a diary and if so does it help ,3.0
12678, at least another hour before i can join in the fun ,2.0
12679,i wont let anybody ever make me feel ashmed again im proud of myself ,0.0
12680,this minnie riperton story is sad guys   she died so young   ,2.0
12681,ugh im back down to  followers and i already did the giveaway ,2.0
12682, anyone else feel like their life is going fuckin no where i sure as hell do i have made good changes to my life focusing on my fitness and well being focusing on my hobbies more but i feel like im going no where my romantic pursuits are non existent i have severe esteem issues i thought working out and trying to be healthy but it doesnt my parents think theres something wrong with me because i havent had a relationship in a while and the one that i thought i had fizzled out a while ago i just dont know what to do,3.0
12683,it was still fun though ,0.0
12684,i think i started getting all choked up when i heard the dad sayquotmy daughterquot   awwww ,2.0
12685,  it worked,0.0
12686,i follow back ,0.0
12687,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
12688,feeling suicidal no reason just feeling down and very suicidal help,3.0
12689, plus the metal gear saga is coming to the  ,0.0
12690,gabysslave ive used gtd principles and filed it under one day  but seriously  when i am back from clore things will happen,0.0
12691,going to see the hangover now ps this is my thousandth tweet ,0.0
12692,i really wish i was either in the bahamas or at wango tango ,2.0
12693,im waiting in the car listening to ryans roses  finals ,0.0
12694,my little sis with turbo bottle scarf  hha  ,0.0
12695,mybhamal thanks for the shout out ,0.0
12696,at tjs baseball game ,0.0
12697,batmanda  i did too,2.0
12698, throws imaginery dagger and misses   sorry did try killing you clean my place next please ,2.0
12699,derekdbutler great thx actually heading back to va beach in the next month  take some acting classes  regent  job stuff work out  u,0.0
12700,rt  another reason to get out and votesupport realdonaldtrump ❤️🙏🏻🇺🇸 ,0.0
12701,just found out the wwe let go of one of my favorites and a big name at that  well perhaps hell go to tna,2.0
12702,wants to read a lot   obsessed premiere lt so excited xd,0.0
12703,superior grille with my fave couple then a night out with my girlies ,0.0
12704,  i will b sad when u all r happy in texas lol,2.0
12705,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
12706,tomorrow i will be  months old tweeps ,0.0
12707,jojomckean heyheyhey ,0.0
12708,listening to music someone keeps deleting my fav songs ,2.0
12709,should perinatal mental illnesses be treated individually  httpstcojvxseyvlzz perinatalmentalhealth pmh ,1.0
12710,video gaming doesnt help with my depression anymore greetings rdepression its my first time posting here so sorry if im breaking any rules of the subreddit or if my english isnt clear ive been a video gamer all my life started with the  and now play the  on a daily basis and while the medium has helped me alot in the past such as coping with the loss of my father it doesnt really help me cope anymore and i really dont know what to do i go out often hang out with friends tried the religious approach didnt help unsurprisingly and  even went to a therapist once but the only thing that really helped was video gaming which just doesnt anymore what do i do in this case ,3.0
12711,goodeye oh  well then  never mind  ,0.0
12712,guided meditation saves me guys i would highly highly recommend sam harris meditation app waking up transformed me only for better  minute daily meditations from a zen neuroscientist plus lots of other stuff brings a genuine feeling of peace and realigned perspective after some practising of this relaxed and guided introspection even  minutes makes a difference plus being a very sharp philosopher and scientist he doesnt say anything crazy like one might fear from a spiritual messenger please get this app it truly will help you more than any app in history   ,3.0
12713,distortion to taste sense due to depression is this a thing coffee tastes like bitter water ive been wondering about this since everything negative in my life seems to be somehow linked to my depression i drink coffee religously every morning but the past few moths it has started to taste like nothing i can not sense coffe aroma anymore i was never a big tea drinker but even the kinds of tea i like peppermint rosehip earl grey chai taste almost like water now i havent really noticed a difference when it comes to food tho coincidentally this started after i had to move in with my mother after beeing in a homeless shelter for  months now im in my own apt but got mold heater not working properly noisy surroundings all of this combined with depression i had since i can think back makes me very apathetic its almost as if the apathy has spread to my taste buds,3.0
12714,can  just be over now i just want this year to be over my fiancé left me my attempts to find a new relationship have been unsuccessful through it all i thought i had my friends but they made plans without me tonight i feel like my life is slowly unraveling and i dont know how to stop it at the beginning of the year i had my social life together and it was going well now justnothing just fuck my  this year has been filled with constant disappointment and is leaving me loveless and friendless ,3.0
12715,teen angst i go to high school in the us its a pretty big school  kids and everyone seems to end up falling into a group or stereotype ive done my best to avoid this but i have struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life and to many i come off as the sad angsty brooding type i do my best to talk about serious topics but most people kind of just think i am trying to be edgy or cool and it ends up making me feel even worse than i already do any advice on how to handle this,3.0
12716,oh mans the sun is coming out humidity ,2.0
12717,really disappointed by the cavs  but there is always next year right  indians didnt do so good today either ,2.0
12718,there are worse things than being alone she came over again last night she had been on vacation we hadnt seen each other for a week hey love she said as she walked in the door and kissed me she told me about her trip and how much she missed me and how much she was bragging to all her friends about me we had dinner and cuddled on the couch and watched netflix shes beautiful shes tall shes smart she has an incredible french accent when i look at her though all i feel is guilt and shame because im still hung up on a short plain woman who was too scared to take a chance on me i cant get past someone who doesnt care anything about me who i havent spoken to in almost a month my thoughts are consumed by someone who will never love me who was hung up on someone else someone i meant nothing to i cant sleep more than  hours a night i lay awake thinking about what could have been what i did wrong how i can get her back meanwhile someone else lays next to me stares at me affectionately with her big brown eyes i consistently wake up at  or  every morning from a piercing needle of a thought that reaches through unconscious space to torment me her name over and over again ive lost  pounds since the beginning of the year and taken up smoking again nothing like despair to hit your weight loss goals for the month i hate myself for this i hate myself for doing to the new one what the old one did to me i hate myself for being so weak that ive let this affect me this much i hate myself for being so weak that i cant break it off with her even though everyone tells me i should i hate myself for lying to myself so much i hate myself for all things i did wrong with the old one i hate myself because i know deep down it wasnt my fault but i just cant accept that i hate myself because ive become unravelled by someone i didnt even know existed  months ago there are worse things that being alone loneliness is an empty gnawing feeling that you can get used to wrap yourself in it like a blanket guilt and shame are like knives in your gut that twist with every breath you never get used to it loneliness is numbing shame is agonizing ill take the numbness over this any day im depressed,3.0
12719,yagirldwoods hey d woods have u ever felt like im neva gonna b able to live my dream cuz i feel like that i wanna b a model so bad ,2.0
12720,relapse i had somebody in my life who i thought understood me so well i always felt like nobody understood me and thought i was seeking attention through cutting and bulimia but this one person didnt but i have just found out that they had called me schemeful and attention seeking i feel numb crushed confused they helped me quit cutting and my bulimia and yes ive had cutting relapses over these months but no bulimia relapse but i want to i dont want to tell anybody i know bc theyll think i want attention amp ive started hitting my thighs and knees with a hammer and causing bruises and my eating has been completely healed i eat all the time with hardly any guilt but i still get urges and id like to act on them any advice please please please please just help me ,3.0
12721,rt hatttiegladwell please dont say you have ocd because you like your flat clean have bipolar because you had a mood swing  have,0.0
12722,i dont know what to do anymore honestly i dont give a shit this is my main acc ive been feeling so low the last few years of my life and i dont know what to do thatll helpim constantly uninterested in everything and ive cut most of the people in my life out of itive been having thoughts of hurting myself and i just dont have anyone to talk to anymore ,3.0
12723,super sad that george is really gone from greysanatomy  hopefully izzie will stay,2.0
12724, what r u working its sunday r u in dubai now ,0.0
12725,hanging out w my boys amp matthildreth in virginia beach va grilling out then gonna head to the show  wish the btf dudes could come out ,2.0
12726,i have an urge to eat loads of raw carrots maybe im turning into a rabbit ,0.0
12727,uh shame man ☹️ nandossa help her,1.0
12728,katiebabs larissaione im dreading this three day weekend ,2.0
12729, also please do poke me if you ever want to chat ive had a lot of anxiety growing up and talking hel httpstcokodkvlfkma,0.0
12730,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
12731,distance yourself from things that are no good for your mental health 🌼,0.0
12732,oh manwas ironing jeancjumbes fave top to wear to a meeting burnt it ,2.0
12733,why doesnt the a ever run express on the weekend ,2.0
12734,   jst finished my hiphop essay ahh heard a new sonq by cb rdy  love amp its now one of my all time favs wht a talanted character ,0.0
12735,would love to stress that her last status was directed towards her wonderful parents not her amazing twitter contacts ,0.0
12736,extremely  disappointed  by the outcome of the elections ,2.0
12737,jennyoreilly mac dont have right clicks lol ,2.0
12738,hellivina have a great night girl im tired and not feeling to good darn weather ,2.0
12739,well got cheated on i just wanna stop hurting found out my fiancé cheated on me and i dont want to keep going,3.0
12740,i dont feel very well ,2.0
12741,blah blah blah blahi have a headache ,2.0
12742,siggidori sad but i think we can fix it ,0.0
12743,don now looking for lake isle of innisfree yep lake  xd,0.0
12744,watchin a movie called quotconjurerquot on  on direct tv its supposed to be horror watch it with me ,0.0
12745,zaraax  hope youre okay didnt know him but rip ,2.0
12746,gettin tired in my life  do i always have to understand people but they dont understand me ,2.0
12747,you know your tired when you get whipped very badly in   i shall retire for the evening on that note ,0.0
12748,ready to get rediculous with her girls ,0.0
12749,has anyone else lost the ability to cry i used to cry nearly every night and oddly looked forward to it but now i have the same thoughts with no emotion to be able to convey it also sucks because it would make it even harder to tell others how i feel when i cant convey it for them to understand,3.0
12750,blackberries are bitchin ,0.0
12751,rt changfused i just listened to ikons teaser and its already a bop wow and the lyrics sound sad idk based on what i understood it was r,0.0
12752,the hills lc is leaving ,2.0
12753,i cant believe i have to cram so many things for just four days  i dont want to leave home anymore,2.0
12754,watching one tree hill     my back hurts ,2.0
12755,working a lot in my office ,0.0
12756,showered dressed almost ready to go to knellerx ,0.0
12757,got home from work  mins ago but still sitting in my car i dont want to watch tv i dont want to play video games i dont want to play with my dogs i dont want to do any chores whats the point of getting out of my car most of my friends have moved an hour away my one close friend has her own issues and doesnt need to listen to all my issues my husband is not a very compassionate guy and doesnt have anything comforting to say i despise one of my jobs and my other job just isnt going anywhere i was hoping this second job would turn into full time so i can quit the full time job i hate but its been  months of me working two fucking jobs i am working on figuring out the right prescription with my doctor but having a hard time finding a therapist that takes my insurance i just wish i could wake up tomorrow and have my shit figured out,3.0
12758,suicidal help i have been contemplating suicide since i was very little im turning  soon and have had some things happen in my life since then to give me the idea of leaving the thought of taking my life behind unfortunately with all the things i have been trying on my own and even with the support of my pupper friends and family i still feel that i dont want to be here in this realm what im asking anyone to help me with is where can i go to a place that helps suicidal people turn around from that thought mind you i want to go to a place i can be with my dog rudee i absolutely hate being away from him and if there is a program out there i can get better while having him with me i am all for it if anyone has a recommendation please let me know,3.0
12759,trying to do lady gaga inspired looki discovered that my hair is still too short to do a ribbon out of it ,0.0
12760,rt willmenaker big deal what about the heroes who do this for months after being trapped by depression ,1.0
12761,at work since  hours tired only  hours left yay  enjoy your day peeps,0.0
12762,hate that i was born i cant fucking do anything right i cant fucking keep anyone happy i hate my job i have no friends what is the fucking point to life when all you do is make everyone around you and yourself miserable,3.0
12763,i shoud become a singer someday in the near future  ,0.0
12764,i agree with everyone its ridiculously hot outside ,2.0
12765,seany aww  cuddle,2.0
12766,it hit me again i thought it left but that shit hit me back again depression comes and goes who ever says that it can be cured is lying to you hope you all are hanging in there ,3.0
12767,rt literallymeg i wouldnt wish severe anxiety on even my worst enemy,1.0
12768,is very tired and so she is going to bed  ,0.0
12769,im about to pop dinner at maggianos with the wifey sans the kids im ashamed no more room for martinis im so old  ,2.0
12770,kirstiealley i cant remember the last time i watched the news i always change the channel and find something funny instead ,0.0
12771,the world is spinning aroundi just act like a clown cant walk even one round just because every anoopdoggdesai s tweet gets me bound ,0.0
12772,mellalicious a few weeks of practice and my cooking skills have returned ,0.0
12773,jessicannamaria boo that sucks  but miley was happy which made me happy and twilight people were there  but yeah no jb ,0.0
12774,gots a headache ,2.0
12775,life story and deppresion story and my life after going to a mental hospital i am sorry for my bad english its my second languagso here it goes i have depression i had depression since i was about  years old  it is awfule i think about suicide every day i even tride to do it but am a coward i do selfharm in other ways tho my family situation is really bad but my mental health is even worst last year i went to a menta health institution i stayed there fot about  months it was really bad the kids there didnt like me and i didnt like them i just wanted to be alone and they were assholes about it  and the nurses werent good either my health just got worst it was like a prison i just wanted to go home everyone was making a big deal about it and they coudnt belive that a good kid like me had depression they treated me like i was i complete idiot and a crazy person they gave me some hard antidepressants but they just made me not feel anything i took them because i just wanted to go home because again it was like a prison my teachers came to the hospital and made me feel just i cant explain it but it was just weird i was grateful  tho before i got out the doctors promist me my parents were going to change with me i had faith i was going to get better i promist myself i woldnt cut and i would take my medicine whene i got out everything got worst my teachers treated me like i was a nut job my one friend that i had replaced me i had  friends i still have  friends i feel soo alone i just want to be alone allll day my parents just cry because as they say i ruind their lifes my other family members just criticise me when ever they see me everybody thinks i am getting better but i am not all i do is eat my fellings away i was  now i am  i just wanna kill myself but i am really trying to turn my life around i been trying to not care what others think about to be more open to try make friends and go to the gym i completely stoped caring about my parents because i know they only care about themselfs i know its bad of me to say that bur when i am around them i just feel completely useless and like i dont belong on this planet i have tried to increase my medicine but it just doesnt work so i have stoped taking it at all because i feel nothing not sad or happy or mad just blank i cant cry nor smile but i still feel worthless and i still think about suicide i just think i am not in a good place with good people i feel like when i am on my own i will be happier or at least with peoplle i love for now i guess i am just going to be sad maybe it will change or maybe not who knows thank you for listining to my story ,3.0
12776,true blood season two premier ,0.0
12777, hahah i could send it by ups express but i think it would still take too long to get there ,0.0
12778,tommcfly what about mtv movie awards turn the tv onnnnnnnnnnn ,0.0
12779,ok took the celebrity test who is your best match celeb daniel day lewis  wth johnny depp only   i am depressed ,2.0
12780,helmuts hey helmuts  im ratty if u remember me from scootertechno ,0.0
12781,lost  to jund aggro  he played  thoughtseize and  maelstrom pulse in the  games ,2.0
12782,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
12783,i just want you to feel good ,2.0
12784,recommendations for other subreddits i need recommendations for other subreddits related to mental healthim currently in a recoveryuphill from my depression and anxiety but i have to leave this subreddit due to the constant negativity from other sufferers reading posts relating to self deprication and suicide makes my negative thoughts and memories trickle back its not a good cycle sometimes i think i can stay here to help and listen but more often that not being in this community is more of a burden on my healthi was wondering if anyone is in any other subreddits that encourage positivity and mindfulness,3.0
12785,rubenerd mine was an almanac  its definitely fun,0.0
12786,new dads are just as likely to suffer from depression as new moms httpstcofixunxpeth,0.0
12787,will be leaving for jfk airport soon touching down on tuesday at  bye nyc  ,2.0
12788,mrsarchuletaa haha aw me too i cant wait im seeing rent for the last time in dallas  the two original guys are in the show too,0.0
12789,tweeting from my lovely new iphone ,0.0
12790,i just wish i could die i feel im of no use to anyone just a burden i feel like im tortured everyday nothing gets better ive been through hell and back my whole life its just one trauma upon another and it doesnt end i have nobody i can really talk to every night i just relive these traumas in my head and its hard to sleep i keep thinking god will make things better that something good will come my way but nothing i think about so many different ways to kill myself im completely alone just want to die i hate living in such a cruel selfish world nobody truly cares they say they do but where are they,3.0
12791,mmmrrrrrrrhhhh off to work again ,2.0
12792,i have a cold for sure  ,2.0
12793,aaronisanerd goodnight have a good day at work ,0.0
12794,ldelphian ill share your giddy with ya i totally understand wish i could be there ,2.0
12795,not again its happening again and im scared i feel it coming and i just want to hide and cry,3.0
12796,im old and i wasted my youth on someone who couldnt care about me and now i have no friends and no motivation to improve myself or better my prospects i know i did it to myself but once youre in that lonely sphere there is zero desire to go on,3.0
12797,still have  left before im stranded in pahang ,2.0
12798,alright its  am and i still cannot sleep i dont know whats up with me watching camp rock ,0.0
12799,best of youtube the birds amp the bees the birds amp the bees  subscirbeeee  amp leave a commentmake a video tellin me how u fou,0.0
12800,hey starburstin i missed you guys at the picnic yesterday ,2.0
12801,herobeth ,2.0
12802,oliviamunn had fun talking to you again in the va today ,0.0
12803,sat  not  ,2.0
12804,mabetini nin amp janes addiction  are you doing ok    hugs,2.0
12805,friend i made reddit today with the intention to say the things i cant say in real life i have close friends and a good support network but i can never say the things i really feel or think everyone knows me as the bubbly strong and free person so i cant get my self to tell anyone but inside im constantly overthinking and feeling shit i am so unhappythis is different for me and almost weird to depend on people i dont even know but i think its what i need,3.0
12806,stopped by nextcoffee for their delicious turkey wrap but theyre all out of turkey  off to subway,2.0
12807, i wouldnt necessarily advertise that ,2.0
12808, at least it was a close game this timeand im not gonna sweat it orlandos got the next one ,0.0
12809,i have a tooth ache from cookies  what a hard day at school,2.0
12810,yourhighniss hey good morning ,0.0
12811,rt caulfieldtim study suggests journalists must take care in reporting on suicide httpstcoxqyiuzqkcf via cmaj eurekalert scicomm,1.0
12812,finale of gos gal tonight  cant wait til long wend specially friday nite n saturday stalking time,2.0
12813,truly wish i could help every person here with a sense of direction hope and optimism depression is hard and i understand the stigma that it encompasses but lets change that i dont think people who suffer from depression are victims or survivors they are just people and many of them want to be better wether you are taking medication or doing whatever you can as one person to the next know that someone else who is in pain is rooting for you  wanting you to not only pull through but smile life is not always beautiful but it is a thing of beauty you need the lows to get the highs and vice versa all you can do is keep on accept yourself and improve your life by realizing that you are exactly who you need to be and that there is so much that one person can do for the world that is positive sending hope and love over ,3.0
12814,sunny day   ,0.0
12815,how do you guys deal with being depressed and keeping your girlfriend happy  so ive been with my girlfriend for almost five months and shes coming out of depression being taken off her antidepressants as im just getting therapy im sad a lot of the time and she notices this how do i keep her happy but also be sad ,3.0
12816,crazytwism haha good for you  ,0.0
12817,rt deplorrebel you know whats sadjames gunn can get over  signatures to have him rehired and can get tons of support but we,1.0
12818,edisonneil insult not taken usb is faster ,0.0
12819,so missing out on long beach pride and im sad about it ,2.0
12820,the healthy of my mbp battery keeps at  with only  cycles   how possible is that apple,2.0
12821,bugger just remembered i came up woth a brilliant bnp joke this morning but cant remember what it was ,2.0
12822,myvi arrived today but i didnt get to be there to see it  dads pretty upset because of this i think sighhh but still ptl for d car,2.0
12823,grahams with any luck the sox will choke and the yankees will regain their rightful position on top ,0.0
12824,back in the hole i am back in the hole to give a bit of background im  in my last semester of uni far away from my home once again i am back to crying pretty much every day and wanting to sh for the first time in a long time the worst part is nothing is wrong and i know depression doesnt always have a reason trust me it just makes it a bit easier when theres a reason my boyfriend is so good to me he called me every second he could the other day bc i felt so fucking empty he literally got into work late to talk to me and make sure i was okay it hurts bc i dont want to make everything about me i dont want him to worry all the time i dont want him to be scared to talk about stuff in case ive been having a bad time and i was so happy recently i was so content and all of a sudden its gone just gone i do feel a bit batter today but i still feel so lost and empty i cant wait to see him wont be until next sunday but im counting down the seconds ,3.0
12825,depression aint no joke lmao,0.0
12826, im so excited thank you so much ,0.0
12827,ive started to hurt myself i cant do this anymore i miss my girlfriend i hate my job i dont want to move out of my home im letting others down at my volunteer work time is not helping and im only getting worse after awhile i started to get drunk frequently now ive been slowly starting to mix tylenol with alcohol i frequently feel pain in my abdomen for good reason sad part is i seem to like being in this pain almost comforting much rather be in physical pain than emotionalmental paini wont last much longer if things keep going the way they do it will only be a matter of time before i go too far with the pain and do some serious damageim sorry emilyi broke your promise and i failed you again,3.0
12828,sometimes i take drive thru orders while im peeing ,0.0
12829,best apps for managing the little things hi i was wondering if anyone has a preferred taskstodo list app that helps them with the little things that are easy to forget or avoid when depressed ive been struggling a lot lately with basic tasks like hygiene and cleaning lately so im looking for something where i can set reminders that trigger if i havent done a certain thing for awhile so for example something i could set so that whenever i shower i check it off in the app and it sends me a notification if i go  hours without showering or something along those lines,3.0
12830,im really struggling but thats okay today has been a rough day im not honestly sure why like overall it was a good day but im starting to feel myself crash and burn that being said im really trying to catch myself early and keep above water today ive done my laundry cleaned my room called my family and friends and got myself to work im really trying as hard as i can and i guess i just need someone to know so thanks reddit idk man just fucking blurbin on the internet,3.0
12831,shopao ,0.0
12832,ansi i know it is evil but i am so weak ,0.0
12833,i have no irl friends since i left for boarding school for like  years i havent talked to anyone in my city for over  and a half year im starting school next week and i have no friends what do i do,3.0
12834,queensandradee lol how bizarre we keep getting mixed patterns going cold by end of week ,2.0
12835,kiwikia aww i know and johnny man that guy is nice super sweet nakakatouch ,0.0
12836,rt tearjin im so sad my heart actually hurts i love him so much and would do anything for him not to feel sadness this world is cruel an,1.0
12837,surfing kwick with my iphone  take that rocco faggot ,0.0
12838,gutoriot ele nao me respondeu amor ,2.0
12839,weloveminehead we have a mental health support group meeting every thursday  in the quaker rooms in bancks ,1.0
12840,hey tabitha ,0.0
12841,shelbyrounds youre already up that early anyway for yor superhero workouts ,0.0
12842,inestle hey girl hey  amp yes i agree those commercials are funny as hell lmao,0.0
12843,nerdyboytko for like  months it just was not workin ,2.0
12844,continue using iranelection there is nothing wrong with it  and it keeps us together not divided,0.0
12845,watchin material girls i think it isnt the best movie of hilary duff but its funny ,0.0
12846,the rain stopped thank god  i hope the sun will shine tomorrow off to the beach in a few hours ,0.0
12847,shopped soo much todayso much fun  love love shopppppinggg,0.0
12848,hmmm i want to preorder albums from pixie lott and lisa mitchell from itunes and it seems i cant yet ,2.0
12849,whats wrong with me depression hey guys need your help or opinion figuring out whats wrong with me im a  yo female engineering student i live in a dormitory alone and im about to get my diploma in july after i finish my internship willing to apply for a masters afteranyway i think somethingss wrong with me but dont really know what it is the slightest change in my lifes stability makes me depressed and anxious for examplei was with this guy for almost  months everything is casual we went out like  or times and didnt really love him or get used to himbut really enjoyed his company now his interning far away and we decided its not gonna work a normal persons reaction would be to be a little sad about it but ive been crying for over a month every single day i cant sleep ive lost wait cant concentrate on anything at all this is just an example it happens all the time every once in a  months or so i really didnt have any feelings for him or anything its not even about him i feel soo depressed everytime i enter my dorm i feel like everything is black and i start to have serious suicidal thoughts the only thing keeping me going are my parents i have no source for affection and dont really connect with people emotionally even if they show interest in me im also introverted but really enjoy hanging with extroverted guys what do you think is the problem i cant figure out my self i feel like the world is so random and nothing is ever going yo workout for me sorry for the long post,3.0
12850,whats the point in living if i cant do anything anymore i was a fucking straighta student a few months ago now i cant even write i cant get myself to do household chores i cant get myself to clean my room or make my bed i struggle to get myself to get out of bed i can hardly get myself to eat and when i do i cant bring myself to care whether its actual food or just junk im considering dropping out of school because i cant get myself to do any schoolwork because of my anxiety whenever i try to write anything for school my mind jams and the words escape me i can hardly get myself to try anymore because im just expecting failure ive never gotten lower than an a in maths in my entire life and i flunked the final exam of the year i just cant get myself to do anything at all im failing everything that ive taken pride in ive got nothing left that makes me myself anymore i just dont want to keep trying when this is all im getting out of it,3.0
12851,stealingoneal where can i buy your songs from been looking everywhere  want them baad lol,2.0
12852,almost  days til jonas  and less than  hours til the new sneak peek i am so pumped i know itll be amazing ,0.0
12853,insomnia sucks  ,2.0
12854,doing inventorysucksi have my summer freedombut now im out of a job ,2.0
12855,im told the sun will be making a cameo appearance later today for now the gray overcast curtain is still firmly in place ,2.0
12856,thebigeasytease good sounds like you need to do more of that lately ,2.0
12857,my phone is dying omg what am i gonna do lol but its not funny ,2.0
12858,moldyclay i miss you ,2.0
12859,ayyyyyy just got guestlisted  making kandi for illuminate then school bleh,0.0
12860,futuremrslorenz i pray your first day goes well ,0.0
12861,thomasfiss have fun thomas and i love the addison shirt by the way ,0.0
12862,off to the mall ill cell updateee ,0.0
12863,going to bed ,0.0
12864,haavent read the paper yet about the magic loss nor did i get to watch the game last night but i do know that we lost ,2.0
12865,traffic was a lil heay everyone is going to the paradeim not ,2.0
12866,i wanted to go see mitchel at the grove but i have to do laundry ,2.0
12867,dang all my chocolate wrappers are gone the lady who cleans the house must have thrown them away  now i need to make up for that,2.0
12868,bed rest and how i met your motheri dont want to go to school tomorrow ,2.0
12869,watching rove ,0.0
12870,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
12871,rt  the college you attend shouldnt define who you are just because you go to a community college you are no less of a per,2.0
12872,oxygenoverdose happy birthay honey its really a pity that i cant party with you tonight  have a wonderful day xoxo,2.0
12873,dominicajean im not allowed  emma and christopher got theirs so my parents are making me wait,2.0
12874, tweets still not as supe qewl as savbear ,2.0
12875,time seems to be moving in slow motion i am watching pineapple express  to  am seemed like a hour  this movie isnt very good ,2.0
12876,is listening to steer clear god do i miss them ,2.0
12877,pune palkhi on the main roads causes a  hr delay in reaching office ,2.0
12878,silencingsinnie appearance  ugh im so sorry but meeeeee too i gotta get my graduation tickets night,0.0
12879,fuck my life hahahaha interesting night with liz and bev  its  why am i up,0.0
12880,who has cam ,2.0
12881,omg this stupid book is so boring good night ,0.0
12882,alkalinegabi ask him for it next time you see him ,0.0
12883,i love snow pea crisps  ,0.0
12884,itsss soo hot and i havee nothing to do   onlinee eitheer,2.0
12885,hysterically crying after watching marley amp mesomeone really shouldve warned me   ,2.0
12886,i dont want to work a typical first job because i think it would exacerbate my depression i want to go to college mainly to make friends and be with people my age but i dont know what to study so i dropped out of hs at  and since then i lost contact with all my friends at  i started a program for adults to finish hs and i studied mostly from home so thats  years now im  without making new friends and being alone i think i started getting depressed during these last  years plus ive been thinking what to do now that i almost have my hs diplome but im lost i dont want to have a typical first job like being a waiter or a cashier or work at a mcdonalds because id feel depressed by getting up just to go do a job i dont want im lucky enough to have a family that support me so they told me i could work or study something the thing is i dont know what to choose because i dont feel smart enough after taking so long to finish hs everything seems out of my reach i also have social anxiety and most first jobs require speaking to clients and i freak out by just taking a bus also some careers im interested require very good social skills too im really lost,3.0
12887,purugovind  for me ,0.0
12888, anything and everything ,0.0
12889,just finished futsal and now at the pasar malam unfortunately have to watch what i eat tonight not too full and not too hungry ,2.0
12890,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
12891,im about to ask my wife for a divorce she doesnt get me shes selfish im not allowed to be myself fuck her happy monday kids,3.0
12892,want lots of rather expensive electronics items that i cant afford ,2.0
12893,itzie and u can say that i am a little kid in  grade and   i dont really want that it pass,2.0
12894, by all means take advantage of the underlings otherwise whats the good of being an overlord overlordette overlady ,0.0
12895,iremember when there were only two of us life is so different and better now theres three of us ,0.0
12896,today is scareofwaterday  damn my body smells so bad ,2.0
12897,nobody really cares if youre depressed and i cant exactly blame them either must get tiring or boring talking to someone who needs help but not being able to help them come up with a solution mehi hide my emotions and dont talk to anyone about my problems because when i do which has only been  times in the last  years  its the same cycle everytimesomeone ask you if youre ok you talk to them about your problems and how shitty your life is they dont say much besides it gets better and then you never talk again after a few days life is becoming so dull and boring lately so underwhelming im not even sad im just empty and enjoy nothing would be nice to enjoy something again,3.0
12898,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
12899,screweduptexan thx yep trying to thought id see how i go with tweeting the recipe so to speak ,0.0
12900,john whats wrong ,2.0
12901,denisesbears it is nice to meet you thank you for your kind words  i am off to visit your site and see your bears ,0.0
12902,event profs   i know i saw somewhere guidelines for a candy buffet how much pp etc  anyone know where that is  google isnt helping ,2.0
12903,for all u new followers i tweet nonsense and lots of nkotb so unfollow me if youre not down ,0.0
12904,shisk fucking dog owners  its their fault not the dogs   im sorry for your millie either way,2.0
12905,abbies back on ,0.0
12906,ridiculous  gnight i will apologize some more tomorrow  ,2.0
12907,im reaching a new low i dont even know how to start with my story or if anyone even cares to know i have nowhere else to vent i feel trapped in my mind i intentionally take double triple doses or more of every drug i can get my hands on and i dont even know if im doing it to try to kill myself anymore ive only attempted suicide once while on quadruple dose of mdma and downed whole supply of ibuprofen and other things felt like it was the end closed my eyes and then i hear an ambulance when i got to the hostpital in didnt get any sort of medical attention apart from a blood test i feel invincible and i hate it ever since ive been punching walls to see whether the wall or my hands are gonna breaks first in my free time i sit and contimplate how i should start cutting ive got a modified shaving razor and im thinking of buying some alcohol to make it easier ,3.0
12908,kirstyandrews are you taking a camera tomorrow because my sisters has no batteries so me borrowing it would be pointless ,2.0
12909,is growing a headache and just had a mini nosebleed time for a snack and bed methinks ,2.0
12910,happy fathers day all my quotkidsquot are in the kennel until tomorrow  no father of the year award for me this year apparently,2.0
12911,watching american idol ,0.0
12912,kahrra tetris is older than you by  months  june ,0.0
12913,is chillin with the crew ,0.0
12914,dizzyyet im so jealous i just raided the kitchen for sugar and came out with tea ,2.0
12915,erisakablu sorry to hear that toots my bf has been fired for awhile always sucks ,2.0
12916,the littlest things can ruin your day i went to the doctor today because i had a bad reaction to one of the meds i am taking  the side effect was rather severe itching  anyway after talking awhile she says if you were young and healthy i would give you this steroid but youll just have to take a allergy pill  gee thanks  damn it i still get carded  oh well  the kicker is she said the meds effects will remain in my skin for  weeks  ugh,3.0
12917,ive odd on blueberries strawberries and greek yoghurt i should have had it after my run and not before ,2.0
12918,rt guapitx ppl that dont like clowns are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated animals tha,0.0
12919,mark just popped my straw ,2.0
12920,just saw the toy story  teaser traileri genuinely feel happier than before i watched it  whose better woody or buzz,0.0
12921,come to my sissys house were having a garage sale ,0.0
12922,the dinner yesterday was amazing great  had so much fun  love ma girls ,0.0
12923,at new fashion hair design in cupertino always run into ppl i know here and they all use the same stylist as me and always have appts ,2.0
12924,does it ever happen to you that there are days when you feel nostalgic optimisticmotivated like theirs an interesting perspective to life and then completely vice versa,3.0
12925,goin to bed im bored and all my friends are off line ,2.0
12926,fldestry it is heavy but i was in high school and had more free time on my hands i will try it thank you ,0.0
12927,got my feminist tattoo with a female impersonator blog twist ,0.0
12928,carabian except signing up in twitter ,0.0
12929,is this depression hey im looking for some answers for the way that i feel in the last months i really struggle to have fun when i do the stuff that i like to do i feel like i only do things with my friends to let them have fun also i would really like to sleep the whole day because then i wouldnt have to think about what to do ,3.0
12930,kingbomani i cant find it ,2.0
12931,rachieecaff stars prob cause i am only alowed a little one for my birthday ,2.0
12932,getting hooked on twitter and its only been  hours since i joined ahah ,0.0
12933,luvkryskay get it gurl way to study ,0.0
12934,hotmomamy im going to check that out  relax and a tan to boot ,0.0
12935,webfreelancer just cant help but start to move with the rhythm lol ,0.0
12936, have a blogtv show please ,0.0
12937, exams left today aio so back to study ,2.0
12938,at my grandmas  days in a row i want to go home ,2.0
12939,going to bball with anaaaaaaaak  fun fun fuuuuun,0.0
12940,another scorcher of a day where i will probably be inside most of the time ,2.0
12941,says im back home many thanks to lingmei for food  ,0.0
12942,awww dominic purcells deleted his twitter awww he was interesting ,0.0
12943,bedrickk things have been crazy my way too lunch is still open for me this week but a weekend would be much more fun ,0.0
12944,wow what a busy but fabulous week looking forward to the quotpopquot tonight ,0.0
12945,follow friday follow ishinee she is mad funny keeps a  on my face,0.0
12946,im sorry this was soooo bad writtenits  pm and im tired but also with a little bit of anxiety but hope it was httpstcoqqptgjtpdz,2.0
12947,mileycyrus miley i wish you lucky ,0.0
12948,radger great game son we are def on track for another premiership ,0.0
12949,animal youre too kind for calling me the man in south asia thats something i guess people dont call you too much ,0.0
12950,mattthompson im glad you liked that iphone hijacking is one of my favorite past times  ,0.0
12951,why am i on  mg effexor and bedridden and stink why is hygiene the first things that goes out the window i know im doing good when im bathing and getting dressed i smell like a fish market and dont care well i do i got so much situational stuff going on right now i cant handle and i stink i have been here before and climbed out of it im drained,3.0
12952,sandimon oh no  croup is the worst  thomas gets it all the time ,2.0
12953,yall just be sad yall not depressed,1.0
12954,does anyone else want to commit suicide to make people regret losing you i want them to cry i know its selfish and wrong but i want to,3.0
12955,exprincess too far ,2.0
12956,my last week at bearingpoint ,0.0
12957,had an awesomely serious workout today  then potluck and just had fun with all the girls at the y  it was a good day ,0.0
12958,itslindseyshaw hi lindseyhow are you  greetings from germany,0.0
12959,robsteadman yes  have a great afternoon  im off out in a bit and then off to the party  tweet tomorrow no doubt ,0.0
12960,caitlenstacey no problem  neighbours is so good now only if you were still in it it would be better ,0.0
12961,glasgowlesbians ahh ive placed you now ,0.0
12962,jonaswebcast hilarious ,0.0
12963,aiela ill work out something love no worries  no taking time off for me,0.0
12964, yay i was right ,0.0
12965,eww ive got trash juice on me ,2.0
12966,deandevlin librarianstnt this makes me sad im still in denial its over,2.0
12967,sssllleeeppppyyyyy zzzzzzzzz  why is it when im supposed to sleep i cant but i have no trouble falling asleep while doing work,2.0
12968,rt jaaaaaannis humans ,2.0
12969,gabyrosario ja johannesburg nice amp warm here today ,0.0
12970,celebstylist good morning hun ,0.0
12971,loving this acoustic of falling in love on radio  ,0.0
12972,jasonchanpakyu its also raining in the uk im heading bk in real soon cant wait to see you  x,0.0
12973,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
12974,meagangreen not the same without you ,2.0
12975,morning back to work today after  days off  dnt wanna go back   on a    shift,2.0
12976,everyone is installing  but me left my mac at home  hope it goes well with everyone,2.0
12977,cooking cinnamon rolls to see if that wont get my husband out of bed this morning  ,0.0
12978,up early  been up since  am  wow  ,2.0
12979,xmpieman xmpie is hard to work  it impos funny ,2.0
12980, k imma try that if this next one they send fucks up again thanx ,0.0
12981,i just have to let this all out im almost  and i dont have a job for almost  years i was diagnosed of ptsd  years ago and i have anxiety ive been slowly getting back on my feet by doing the two things i love to do the most  drawing and writing  but then the people around me are starting to pressure me to do things that i dont want to do my friends and colleagues are already out there working going on trips getting married stuff like that and here i am stuck in my childhood house but i really love doing art because its my escape it makes me feel alive cheesy i know but it truly feels that way and i do get income from it though not as big as what people get from real jobssometimes i dont want to go out anymore because i can feel peoples disappointed stares i feel as if their eyes are saying she has good credentials she did well in school but what the hell is she doing ive applied to several jobs that are out of my interests some didnt have interest in my resume some did but when i attended the interview my anxiety triggered it made me want to puke i did my best i did but i mustve probably look like a lifeless fish to the interviewers hamaybe im not shaping into an ideal adult that works in a real office for a real boss fuck i dont even know where my life is heading but i have this desire to go somewhere far far away where nobody knows me and where i can live life at my own pace the pressure is dragging me back to my darkest corner and its killing my zeal to live ,3.0
12982,every one is sick  hope im not next bc all my new sick days are gone from maternity leaveand im saving my vaccay days for fridays off,2.0
12983, oh that sounds good  btw where are you from,0.0
12984, awh thats shitty timing but the followills should be good ,0.0
12985,my point being suicide isnt the answer im not putting this out here to get attention or seem like i have this tr ,1.0
12986,had a gooood weekend  summer school in the am ,0.0
12987,something is wrong amp i dont know what it is i dont know if what im experiencing is depression but its the only word i can associate with this feeling im sorry if this is not an appropriate place for this everything should be fine—i have a great job a loving amp supportive relationship amp a small but tight group of friends but something changed in my head a few months ago amp i cant dig myself out of it its nothing profound—the things that once made me happy now dont make me feel anything and now im beginning to wonder if i even know what happiness is or if ive ever experienced it before im not suicidal but ive become indifferent about life anything i do to try to make me feel something or experience some escapism just feels like im running out the clock waiting for death anyway im not having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning im just  on autopilot if i feel anything at all its frustration amp guilt frustration that i cant jostle this deadened sensation amp guilt that it is affecting my relationships there is also a physical sensation like a weight on my chest all the time does this sound familiar to anybody i know i need to see a therapist and im not asking for a diagnosis im just curious if i can put a word to this at least,3.0
12988,had a productive day ,0.0
12989,yay both abstracts accepted for saip ,0.0
12990,doing homework  cannot be bothered putting my psp on ebay as i dont need and i need some money,2.0
12991,jaydenicole i think you already pick someone   well next friday maybe i have good luck i will try my bestxoxo take care ,2.0
12992,bermudaonion enjoy it its so much fun and the second one is fantastic  too i imagine youll have it done in no time ,0.0
12993,itsrae wish i could im kinda far  spaaaaaaaaaain,2.0
12994,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
12995,i jus love camph that kid is everythin tat i was not but always wanted to be as a kid i jus cant stop readin it ,0.0
12996,i feel down i feel like im not good at anything and no one can like me and idk what to do about it ,3.0
12997,sexyindia  its not ya fault ya gota hot showlolz,0.0
12998,regret that coffee i had a few hours ago its already  ,2.0
12999,having a hard time with sony vegas ,2.0
13000,i will start my history cw in a moment boo   got no motivation whatsoever ,2.0
13001,my friend is very depressed and i dont know how to help him i  have a friend  who is very very depressed it seems to manifests itself in his unhappiness with his love life the most he has just had a really hard time dating anyways he texts me all the time about how worthless he feels and is just so mad at the inequality of life ive tried being up beat ive tried giving him reassurance and ive tried just listening to him he repeats the same thing over and over and gets very mad at me when i dont know what to say or respond the wrong way im at a loss of what to do but im really his only emotional support ive encouraged him to get professional help multiple times but he just doesnt want to im very worried about him though help,3.0
13002,finally got the geek glasses from hot topic  last pair,0.0
13003,what cando your loved ones do to support you my boyfriend recently admitted that he has been feeling very depressed a lot of it is due to feelings of being stuckgoing nowhereat a dead end job and has been unsuccessfully looking for work for  months i also have depression and other mental health issues but my boyfriend copes very differently i dont know how to support him he isolates and will rarely tell me the truth about how hes feeling what do your loved ones do that actually makes a difference or what do you wish they did especially those of you who have trouble communicating,3.0
13004, please ,2.0
13005,fprozpanda forever honey ,0.0
13006,dont watch ishqbaaz if you have anxiety this shit gets me freaky,2.0
13007,so bored so tired i wish i could sleep ,2.0
13008, bad i wanna go to sleep but my head feels like its on a merry go round trying not to puke ,2.0
13009,whack as party hella people and they dnt dance leaving now to drink wit a few people ,0.0
13010,the cavs are making me sad ,2.0
13011,boyislost haha i wishlunch time here got a busy day ahead now ,2.0
13012,it should really be family bbq ,2.0
13013,thx god for people who left their wifi routers unpassworded  good for me and my iphone,0.0
13014,reading slumdog millionaire and eating dairy queenwhat a great sunday night ,0.0
13015,taking my sis to the airport ,2.0
13016,board im finally up in cairo for a couple of days  lol some one text me im going to bed now goodnight,2.0
13017,boddingtons haha yeah probably i can use it at work and on my phone though ,0.0
13018,itsangie maybe we can to when i move down ,0.0
13019,adykins cooking fail talaga its too late to apologize its in our sad stomachs na bawi nalang ako next time ,2.0
13020,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13021,theodi  whats with the magic,2.0
13022,and thus with words not sad she him received,2.0
13023,nature can be so beautiful at times such pretty colours in the world well done god good job  x,0.0
13024,omfg stop the violence listen to kerli  quotshes in partiesquot instead k ,0.0
13025,why dont i have pretty woman on dvd ,2.0
13026,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,2.0
13027,i think i made some serious headway in therapy last nightbut i dont think it made me feel better therapy was really great last night in the sense that we got into some real nittygritty details of my depressionbut all of that said it really finally hit me that despite having depression ongoing for the last  or so years its here to stay its not going anywhereat least for a long while this is who i am and i have depression it really sucks and i just want to cry thinking about how this is my reality at this point in my lifemy therapist suggested that i should shift away from my short term goal of feeling happy when i am feeling tremendous sadness to just taking extra care of yourself at those times she left me with this assignment to make three lists which i want to share here maybe it could help someone else too a list of symptoms that tell me i am not doing well a list of symptoms that tell me i am doing well things that are really simple that make life bettereasier in the shorttermim going to start writing a few things on each of these lists today thanks for reading edited for formatting,3.0
13028,three hours sleep ,2.0
13029,excited for today after work is our pole serobics class  yay,0.0
13030,shetalksinmath have fun ,0.0
13031,sleeping out by the pool   ,0.0
13032,thefixer markable pattysky excellent soon we shall have a movement forming and mondays will be no more  banmondays,0.0
13033,what has my life come to i have no purpose in this world i have multiple warrants in multiple cities and i refuse to go to prison so i stay on the run i cant work because they can track my social security number im completely off the grid the only thing keeping me together is my wonderful girlfriend she works and provides for me she pays rent on a room for me she buys me food and weed and she spends as much of her free time as she can with me all i do all day is lay in my room watching netflix and smoking and eating i can stay in here  and be content i used to have such big dreams and aspirations unfortunately years ago i started using meth a lot then heroin and whatever else i could get my hands on during that period of addiction i ruined my life i stole from my friends i stole from my gf at the time i would shoplift to survive i broke into storage units to steal stuff to sell i would sleep around with meth head chicks and i racked up a bunch of warrants im too scared to go to prison so i have just abandoned everything and am on the run my girlfriend knows this and understands and accepts i love her so much without her i wouldve ended my life already but i dont know what to do anymore i cant go  years like this i have mental issues that block me from living a normal life i dont see the world the way most people do and thats caused problems for me im just so lost,3.0
13034,feeling pretty bummed out could use an ass kicking or pick me up please started seeing this girl who i met at work we got along well i had some really fun times going out with her but ultimately it didnt work out for bs reasons after a week of seeing her i found out she had a long distance relationship going on but i gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried lying to myselfof course i wasnt going crazy and my suspicions were eventually confirmed and i broke it off with her after a month in a very harsh wayim honestly a drama queen fast forward a week later she reaches out to me i reach back we agree to meet up i ask whats up with this guy shes seeing if she truly loves me or she just loves being with me the whole  yards and we ultimately make up  with her agreeing to break things off with the other guy fast forward a week ago and i blow up on her for the most bullshit reasonshe didnt call me after agreeing to call me and i blew up on her for it accusing her and i ultimately broke it up with her again due to my insefuckingurities now fast forward today and i tell her im sorry for how i acted and  apologized for blowing up her phone after i broke things offi told her to never call me again i know im a fucking dumbass i hate myself  and she said she was just doing as i asked and essentially she said its over its all due to my own doing even if it wasnt real it was the best thing ive ever experienced the feeling of companionship the feeling of being able to count on someone the feeling of being lovedand i threw it all away it feels like quitting coke all over again like as if i was riding on this rush of ecstasy and now i had the worst come down wereni just feel so lost and dont know what to even fucking do please someone shit talk me call me a wuss just please help me snap out of this,3.0
13035,lapersonal still havent found my mr right  woodland hillscanoga park  hiiiiiiiiii  tim ,0.0
13036,rt sabrinalo jsftennis beckysterne pahstock   kayfkm qedigiv  thebigotbasher tayloche ,2.0
13037,goofyindun ha ha i think i did i didnt twitter much yesterday i believe that is what it was ,2.0
13038,is not feeling too good ,2.0
13039,gooolu dinner sounds foreign  ,0.0
13040,told my therapist what was actually on my mind and now im in a psych ward i promised on another thread that i would tell my therapist today whats actually on my mind so many hours later and i find myself in a psych ward before you think its all bad it isnt ill tell more down belowfirst i talked my therapist after  minutes or so she switched gears and called the local hospital and their inhouse expertise i drove down to them and met up with two emergency pshyciactric personell that grilled me for  minutes about everything and as a result they wanted me to check in voluontarely to a psych ward  which i agreed to they then gave me a oral temporary ban on driving they were kind enough to drive me up there in my own car though so i didnt have to pay for parking or anything then i had a similiar talk with the inhouse staff at the psych ward and here i sit in my own room at the psych ward writing thiscant complain about the housing or staff they are very understanding and seem to enjoy working here phones and computers are allowed writing on my laptop ive read a lot of stuff about this and was kinda afraid of the whole deal but i couldnt be more wrong from the impression i got so far im only on my first day but i dont think its so bad ,3.0
13041,yehaw we won cup final but it was a crap game ,2.0
13042,jessieog oh no hes right here i was just sighing he wants me out again what is it you want to say to him ,0.0
13043,  tesage by yukiko sato will be at the market nyc   manhattan  free   tesage by yukiko sato will be at ,2.0
13044,purplestreamers this is true  lets do it,0.0
13045,omw back home man this extended summer session is going to bite man nuts  oohh well thank god i dvr family guy and simpsons last nite,2.0
13046,im so tired but i cant fall asleep ,2.0
13047,nikipaniki u probably do no well u  are always welcomed to join inrsoul and me been meeting up impromptu quite often ,0.0
13048,aww wouldnt be able to come to tlt cause of the rain ,2.0
13049,illbecavalier i know he was so cute crying haha it made me sad to see him cry ,2.0
13050,wasnt that in love with transformers and has no idea what to do ,2.0
13051,claireboyles followfriday life changer extra s in error last time ,2.0
13052,i want to fail suicide attempt to be forcibly moved through psychiatric help in hospital i have psychologist psychiatrists tianeptine as my med but i just fucking cant,3.0
13053,cant believe the weekend is already over back to work too soon ,2.0
13054,ugh fml and this job this is beyond ridiculous   ,2.0
13055,all the scrubbing made me sore and i got a little behind in my work ,2.0
13056,on the way to the hospital now i hate traffic on the interstate ,2.0
13057,lates lol nobut we had a obstacle course made out of planks surrounded by palm trees and parrots ,0.0
13058,tired of waking up wanting to be dead feeling extra shitty today im tired of this bs it doesnt get better ,3.0
13059,out with kate x rather awesome i love her x ,0.0
13060,i cant enjoy anything anymore hi im a  year old guy i am struggling with depression because of lots of things the girl i loved for  years said she doesnt have feelings for me i asked her out  years ago and again a week ago my parents fight all the time and one of my best friends moved to a different state i cry everydayeverynight over these things mainly over the fact that the girl i love doesnt have feelings for me i try to cheer myself up with things i normally like to do like playing basketball and playing video games but all of it has become boring and not fun i dont know how to make myself happy anymore im really struggling and i think about killing myself often,3.0
13061,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
13062,rt itsashlyperez today my therapist told me the anxiety im experiencing is called adulthood,2.0
13063,nothing brings me remote joy anymore i used to play video games a lot back in the day and it was the most fun i ever have in my shitty day and that kept me going but after a while you become numb to everything and the only times i play some games which is rarely is because i just might be addicted or bored as fuck not only video games but also food and sleep i dont even enjoy sleeping anymore its become more like a chore or something i do out of survival i dont find any meal worth waiting for i dont enjoy food as much as i used to which kinda is a good thing right now for me cause ive lost weightwhat happens when the simple things in life dont make you happy anymore you dread every moment youre alive,3.0
13064,today i lost a raybanits a very dark day in the hut ,2.0
13065,stunnahbaybe ummm idont really kno how to use tweeter  lol  but i made one cuz i have a thingy  it on myy fonee lol ,2.0
13066,swagbucks codes please ,0.0
13067,themamasphere my sons name is gone  so i have to figure something out for him cause i dont want to use last names,2.0
13068,davidarchie ive been thinking of cook all day  what was on your ipod,2.0
13069,o god i sound so congested lol i cant pronounce the letter quotnquot lmaooo it sounds like quotdquot ,2.0
13070,has woken up feelin fresh feel so much better about everything ,0.0
13071,nickjonas good luck in the show nick ,0.0
13072,tinkeron i am only a captain of the dance ,2.0
13073,finally done  hour photoshoot wow that breaks the record my room is messy im now cleaning it wow im just ,0.0
13074,iitsmolly thanks for adding to my confusion ,2.0
13075,hazelrage i went outside in my shorts again and couldnt stay long ,2.0
13076,moving into our new home ,0.0
13077,going back home after a lonh day at work ,2.0
13078,harrybartolomei and i can cook but its a hit or miss when i want to ,0.0
13079,how you like exercise im  and have been badly out of shape my whole life its been making me depressed lately as its my senior year of high school and im feeling like ive wasted my teen years watching all my athletic friends talk about girls and sex and stuff and knowing that im way too self conscious about my body to get into that stuffbut like ive been trying to eat less and exercise but its hard as shit i feel like i just have nooo energy and i get winded so easily im honestly too embarrassed to go to the gym so ive been doing stuff at home minute workout i have a bench press i can do like  pounds  sets of  reps then my arms feel like noodles lmao help,3.0
13080, disney world not disney land does that help ,0.0
13081,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
13082,lartist what a daffy person you are  ,0.0
13083,why is there so many people jere im having anxiety trying to reply to some of these tweets theyre so dry to start o ,0.0
13084,my friends are sick of me venting a friend of mine said he doesnt want to be my friend anymore because all i do is vent to him but i just want people to listen and they always said to reach out to somebody you trust when i was in therapy and nobody seems to care when im feeling this way and when they do care its superficial they dont want me to feel bad but if i have some sort of behavior problem because of how im feeling they just dont want to deal with meim tired of being a monster and i think the only reason the er released me is because i lied about feeling better its just creeping back but i dont have insurance for another hospital visit especially not one where they dont even do anything immediately to help me,3.0
13085,has to wait till monday to have someone look at his laptop ,2.0
13086,going to sleep now while deep in thought i just stared at this message for two minutes  y,2.0
13087,failed to find some food ,2.0
13088,how do i get my friend out of denial hi ive looked for the right place to ask this question and if it isnt please tell me where is my best friend has stopped working more then two years ago since then he started living at friends and relatives places and since last october hes been sleeping on my and my boyfriends couch most the time he told us he got a job in the city and was saving money for a flat but his behaviour makes me think there is no job at all and he just tells everyone so we leave him alone with it he didnt register for social aid and doesnt pay any money and i cought him lying when i asked him to stay away for a night and he told me something about the friend he wanted to stay with changing plans in the last second so he just didnt leave just that this friend wrote me the same evening asking if ive heard anything from him so they clearly didnt have plans when confronted he just denied itsaying it must be a misunderstanding he sleeps at different friends places and also my place right now weve tried to carefully ask him if there were any problems he might want to talk about etc but no according to him everything is super great as it is at least he is not trying to tell us hes looking for a flat any morewhile im pissed that hes lying to me im actually more worried about him if i refuse to let him sleep here and he messes up all the friendships he has left it seems he already messed up a few in the same way will he then just start sleeping on the street thinking everything is still fine we have social security systems for unemployed people here its not like it has to be this way i keep thinking even if i confront him with it and try to help him hell just play it down again or tell me some lie i dont know what to do with that my boyfriend is at his limit with his patience the way things look my friend will be completely homeless very soon i think he has a pretty bad depression but just tries to ignore his situation and hope it goes away btw i have neither the financial nor the emotional capacity to host him any longer i have adhd with recurring depressive episodes myself and studying is hard enough for me but having someone around  in a fairly small flat with walk through rooms makes it near impossible im at a loss does anyone have any experience with this kind of behaviour ,3.0
13089,is really lost on this thing and can only find  friends ,2.0
13090,no clue what the deal is hi this is my first post im not really even sure if ive got any depression in terms of a diagnosable illness or if i even have a right to post here lately over the last month of this semester in college ive been feeling down for a lack of a better term my life just seems so pointless and without meaning i feel these bouts of melancholy and rage that i cant seem to shake or understand i feel isolated up here  miles away from any family and safety i dont even know whats wrong with me i dont even know if i can feel anymore or if some sick part of my brain that is imperceptible to my surface thoughts is making a liar and hypochondriac out of me i wanted to post here to strangers so i might avoid hurting the people i love with my words i want to know if this is something that is unique to me or something others might have some knowledge on i appreciate your patience and time,3.0
13091,lankydutch its ok i figured that out  very welcome giving that it looks like im about to get flak for my view ,0.0
13092,rt kyuutees thank you for another wonderful year fanime  will open as soon we work out the postcon d ,0.0
13093,tiblockhead yea i kno sucksss im at breakfast now n can hardly eat ,2.0
13094,twitter hates me  im trying to upload a new display pic but its just showing up as a broken image link sad day,2.0
13095,plan for today get ready  fail maths fill out my v awards book relax in the garden try get hold of vanessa amp rose for friday ,0.0
13096,wayforward yes she did omg so funny ,0.0
13097,outtv you forgot me  check out my site sometime httpwwwgossipboyca,2.0
13098,i think i pulled a glute muscle from sitting so long yesterday and now i have a  hour car ride  ,2.0
13099,geekmom great transit system in the city but my quotcheapquot hotel is out in the suburbs where a bus comes every  mins on weekends ,2.0
13100,i have pink eye ,2.0
13101,all alone now i  met a girl  on twitter she is from the uk and i am in the midwest us long story short she ended up coming to the usa to spend a week with me it was lovely and it was the happiest ive been in years we even kept dating for four months i loved her she ended up giving up on the relationship because of the distance and now im alone was severely depressed before her and was happy with her now afraid of it coming back,3.0
13102,had breakfast walked the dog had a shower and i will shortly be on my way to the office beautiful sunshine here in the pennines again ,0.0
13103,can depression cause memorylearning issues and extreme physical fatigue to what extent hi dear communityi dont know if this is the first or the second time i post on this sub as my account is heavily focused on tech and psychology but it doesnt matter i went through depression many years ago and now i suspect im falling againcan depression be behind my chronic fatigue lack of energy and learning difficulties this is a question that ive been doing to myself for the past  years now im on my early  and since my late  i feel a big physical fatigue im always tired i used to walk a lot several hours thought the city but each time i arrived to my home with less and less energysometimes i feel like the wind is pushing me and i just move my legs thats what i mean by zero energy on the other hand im having serious struggles with my career my studies are from the biomedical field and its always been tough lots of memorization and i see myself as incapable to do so i cant stand more than  minutes reading the same thing but the worst is that later i wont remember half of thative tried to go to psychiatrist but so far i havent had any luck i chose the best apparently on my city and she eventually didnt respond to my second email which i took along the extremely high price as a refusal from her to treat me phychologist well ive had bad experiences with them but anyway if im having issues those are physiological more than cognitive what are your experiences if i get medication and my toxic environment where im living changes do you think once i recover from this the fatigue will go away and i will be able to start again learning new skills and finish my studiesthank you,3.0
13104,jdblqvnnqgnj go away i dont wanna talk to you yous a rude person have blocked you ,2.0
13105,gnudhuv  cha thi gi h�t a ,2.0
13106,greeksarah he sounds like a git  what a shame people cant move on and behave themselves perhaps he will this time,2.0
13107,why do scary things happen to me all the time ,2.0
13108,dude every other person here at kfk has a psp apparently im not one of them ,2.0
13109,ive no plans for today and heard weather is to change  what to do,2.0
13110,gabriellai i wonder why too ive asked the web tech team to check on it ,0.0
13111,i get overly attached to people too easily and its worst when they dont reciprocate the same feelings or you are just an insignificant part of their lives im not sure whether its because people suck and nice people are a rarity or because im depressed and its exhausting to befriend me maybe its just easier to be jaded and cynical and be my own company ,3.0
13112,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
13113,another precious heartwarming soullighting goddess guidance coaching call  i so love doing this work httpbitlyxttjd,0.0
13114,break  minutes internet for rest of the day ,2.0
13115,best friends friend i feel so sad every time my best friend goes to his friends because they are the reason in the past why our relationship declined i feel replaceable and it sucks because it is a toxic trait to be jealous of your friends friends i am really particular with friendships for i only have few and i love them just like i love my family i have bpd and anxiety and an introvert too,3.0
13116,im gonna fry some plaintain bananas now yummy ,0.0
13117,no  not allowed hell think weve abandond him,2.0
13118, illll be theree  caaant wait ,0.0
13119, morning thanks  ive got friesan fire to win w general quarters as my dark horse win either one and ill be happy ,0.0
13120,daddysbabigirl lol ima use it in a hour ,0.0
13121,im sick  stupid summer colds ugh,2.0
13122,vanilla ice is my twin ,0.0
13123,missbensel booo im at workim on breaki just saw ur tweet ,2.0
13124,i have an exam tomorrow that im not prepared at all for but thats ok i might fail the course and thats ok too life will go on i can always do better this semester life is what i make of it and i will be better in the futurethats all i wanted to say ,3.0
13125,sensible awwwwwwwwwww better write those down and save em forever ,0.0
13126,when i had a boyfriend i would feel save but i dont have one  ,2.0
13127, no actually  surprisingly she did a cover of somewhere over the rainbow thats on right now but ive got her on spotify,0.0
13128,i need help my mental health has been the worst its ever been this month and i really messed up ive really been having a tough time these past few months more so than ever my job has been barely giving me any hours and ive been forced to do side jobs and other things for money i cant be happy at all when i have to worry about bills and its becoming a viscous circle every month im stressed about bills so i get depressed and dont want to do my hobbies or the things that make me happy i cant find a better job for the life of me and ive been looking so hard i talked to prevention hotline this week i never thought i would get to that point i just want to be happy now im a day away from my rent payment and way short i have no clue what im going to do and im just scrambling to work and sell all my valuable possessions just to make it by this sucks the worst part i feel like is its all my fault nobody to blame besides myself i just really messed up and i dont know what to do,3.0
13129,heidimontag it was really good ,0.0
13130,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
13131,nabilismfof you lucky son of a bitch im so jealous ,2.0
13132,im starting prozac tomorrow like the title says im starting prozac tomorrow and im a little nervous anyone have experiences with prozac good or bad,3.0
13133,pressworthy personal trainers do wonders i have one myself and im ever so grateful for her   down and counting,0.0
13134,rt starrylies rt if you  want to die constantly  never like yourself  dont look in a mirror cause youre unsatisfied with your a,0.0
13135,angeliccurlss oh my god i know this fic ive passed by it lots of times but i never read it cause i thought it was too sad jssjsjsj,1.0
13136,episode  of and is great but i think i prefer episodes  and  was really hoping masaru would get the girl and not sho ,2.0
13137,lonely my boyfriend broke up with me by blocking me last night i have friends i can talk to but all i want is love from a guy does anyone else experience this i literally only get comfort from the love i get from a boyfriend now that he is gone i cant even eat and ive been crying  days straight i feel so lost ive tried in the past to change the dependence on a so thing but i just became worse i dont know what went wrong even and i got no closure its so hard for me to find other people and people always tell me youll find someone but that just makes me absolutely livid hearing that because i literally feel like ill die before i find anyone cause everyone hates meyes i do see a counselor,3.0
13138,its so sad caring for somebody with all of your heart but are ultimately powerless to truly help and support them,0.0
13139,bedsleepdreamsover   ,2.0
13140,years of depression suddendly stoped overnight so i have been depressed most of my life i grew with it kindai never spoke much about it because i was better off keeping it to myself didnt feel like talking tbh i felt like it wouldt change anything anywaytwo weeks ago i fell in like the worse state of mind i ever came trough life was unbearable i just wanted it to stop i didnt had any hopes i felt tired tired with everything it got even worse that was just like to much i couldnt enjoy anything anymore i didnt wanted to do anything anymore i just felt hopelessness boringness and sadnessthen i had the flu for like  days and tuesday i wake up and it was just gone nothing peculiar happened but i just felt joy like if things were right again im again passionate in what i used to do everything tickle my curiosity again i feel like that joy that you associate with your childhood if you know what i meanfor once i feel like life isnt behind im excited about what to comesive never felt like this since i was a child im now focused in what i do things dosent hurt anymore i dont feel tired that kind of tiredness with everything you know anymore just pure excitement about everything i feel truly happy and it have now been  days but nothing happened i dont understand why i just wake up and everything was okay everything feel like new great and exciting i dont know how to explain it really i just even barely understand this sensation because i havent been feeling like this for so long and i just hope it will lasti feel like im a child discovering everything again like the better is comming even my depressing thoughts even though i still judge them as true dont repeat in my head anymore nor affect me emotionallythough im far from not having issues with my current life either but i just dont care anymore it is like im sudendly not connected to those issues even if they are still there they dont affect me anymore even though i still dont have what i want in life at all i just feel happy now thats like if that huge weight i have been carrying my whole life suddendly disapeared i just feel light and happythough i dont find any explication do you have any experience similar to this oneps sorry for typo im not english,3.0
13141,michaelseater whatever happened to life with derek i loved it ,2.0
13142,trying to explain depression to someone who has never had it its hard to truly explain what depression feels like and why you just dont want to go on  depression is real and its hard to get out from under its weight  it is like falling into a dark hole that just gets darker everyday  i dont have the energy to get out of bed  i dont want to see anyone so i dont make plans  then i feel guilty for lying around and i feel even more hopeless and lonely  i dont take care of myself  i have interest in absolutely nothing  not one single that use to make me happy  i have to force myself to eat i dont want to shower or go anywhere  i make excuses whenever a friend wants to make plans  my brain is foggy i have nothing to say  when i feel myself i am witty funny but when i am depressed i have nothing to say and silence makes people uncomfortable  its awkward  i look like shit which makes me sadder and darker and bleaker  its like the outward reflects that inner sunken dark place and everything i see just makes me sadder  it is a selfperpetuating spiral and you wallow in a guiltridden dark selfpitying hole and none of the energy to make yourself better in anyway  the prozac is not working this go round  help i tried natural cures  help,3.0
13143,too bad the red devils disappointing to say the least   ,2.0
13144,here comes the sun  ,0.0
13145,mrschemdoc he only called because my bro made him call ,0.0
13146, awe that sucks ,2.0
13147,i woke up at  today  ive got a waterday whats that i cant eat anything  i can only drink water umm and tea which is water ,2.0
13148,jessrozelle theyre going on wednesday actually ,2.0
13149,twitta bugsyoure is the contraction for you are for exmpl youre my friend not your my friend many people dont know this ,2.0
13150,in the  yo room at destinychurch love the kiddos ,0.0
13151,i cant stop thinking about my ex its crazy hes soooo over me but im not over him  ergh depressive,2.0
13152,how is everyone doing been really down in the dumps lately and i cant seem to get out of this rut im in i always feel better when i try to help others not feel how im feeling so i usually check in on my friends to see how they are i figured why not try and help other people who might feel bad on reddit so how is everyone doing ,3.0
13153,all this talk of true blood cracks me up i knew it rocked but would anyone listen no ari and i went season one all alone ,2.0
13154,getting ready to sleepchurch in the morning   ,0.0
13155,im going back to jubail today  ,2.0
13156,depressed boyfriend wants to breakup after the holidays the past week my once funny adventurous cheerful motivated and affectionate boyfriend has been off early this morning around  he had the worst depressive episode and anxiety attack he says he has ever had and felt like ending it all he has attempted suicide in the past before we knew each other along with that hes had a lot of stomach problems we have a holiday party trip out of town and christmas time festivities this month he messaged me last night that he obviously is not well and needs to focus on himself and that he needs time after the holidays to be alone i really love and care for him whats the best way to go about this should we still go on our trip do i give him space im so scared of smothering him but also want to let him know im there for him but hes so distant how can i show him i care without being too invasive thanks for your input and i appreciate any feedback ,3.0
13157,voidfoxtv nosgoth wasnt a horrible game at all sad that it ended the way that it did didnt it take place in th ,2.0
13158,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
13159,im in the dentist waiting room this is going to be brutal like a scene from a horror film blood up the walls ,2.0
13160,holy crapits thursday shiiiiit i was supposed to go to seattle tonight to see toxic zombie  sorry sam ,2.0
13161,working  gonna miss the tigers game and is getting sick ,2.0
13162,this weathers nt realy wht i wanted ,2.0
13163,got buzzed at dinner tonightsupposed to study but idk now        joey on the brainloving and missing you so much my little romo,0.0
13164,nikaz ah so thats why i havent heard from you yet going to bed soon tomorrow promises to be aggravating ,2.0
13165,i get up at  am now  i am jealous,2.0
13166,i hate being awake at this time my poor legs are hurting too ,2.0
13167,back in from li  ago n still made it to work  yay me,0.0
13168, thanks for following me  favorite fob songs,0.0
13169,bellaform my nephew had some when he was  suspect anyone older should not attempt that look ,0.0
13170,samhouston will see you there tomorrow at the gamerdna tweetup ,0.0
13171,crappy letters from the state hello all im on disability for ptsddepression been on it for two years come this april  i went through some paperwork with the state to get medicaid i have medicare currently through ssa disability to help with costs  i was denied and got some pretty nasty paperwork about how basically im a piece of shit and probably faking everything  im not but now im terrified ill lose my benefits and any kind of stability in my life  it ran the range from is not complying with therapy the way someone with mental health would have and low blows at how my personal philosophy stops me from finding work the personal philosophy they mean is the one taken directly from a therapy session where i talked about how unhappy it makes me that people make profits at the expense of others  i dont know what to do i dont want to go to therapy anymore because therapy is no longer even close to a safe place to expressit is basically a police interrogation where everything you say can and will be used against you and i dont talk to cops  but if i dont go somewhere and comply ill lose my benefits and on top of that i want help but i havent been able to find it has anyone gone through this what do you do  i think ill have to find a different therapistdoctor but how the fuck am i supposed to get better when i know shit like this is coming down the road,3.0
13172,im one tough momma put together a swing set for tammy allll by myself today  my hubby would be so proud of me ,0.0
13173,homelessness its just not funny when it happens to you ,2.0
13174,i dont think i love him ,2.0
13175,thecobrasnake will be missing that  nice seeing you last night,2.0
13176,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
13177,feeling like im caught in quicksand these days title explains itself im sure most of us can probably relate to the feeling for sure ive definitely been struggling with my depression lately and just feeling bogged down i guess ive definitely been isolating and gotten caught up in really bad habits like overeating or being on social media more than i should or watching way to much netflix my way of trying to get quick dopamine fixes rather than address things head on and live more purposefully i thinkdoes anyone have any helpful insights to offerim also on antidepressants but feel like they may be crapping out on me or something idk,3.0
13178,im failing just about every single class this semester and my life is falling apart help i have always been pretty good at school i have maintained a pretty high gpa in my engineering program  and done well on sat exams even gotten a couple s on ap calc and physics exams so i know i am capable of finishing school i havent been able to pinpoint whats causing all of this but i think im severely depressed most days i cant get out of bed to go to class and i just sit in the shower crying i dont know how much longer i can keep doing this ive lost interest in just about everything pushed all my friends away and now im about to fail every class this semester i cry everytime i leave for class because it might be the last time i see homei have tried talking to my parents and they are telling me im not working hard enough and that all that matters is school and to just figure it out when the semester ends but i dont know if i can  they dont know im failing and they still think im this amazing geniuswhat should i do,3.0
13179,micmcdon awww sorry napkin mctastic did not make an appearance at last nights outing with dan he was too tired from the other night ,2.0
13180,my foot is exploding ,2.0
13181,four times ive tried dating my girlfriend three times havent worked im certain the fourth is about to end why do i try anymore my  and  have been on and off for about six years this is the fourth time weve dated it hasnt even been three months and shes already wanting to call it quits i feel like its all my fault that i havent been able to do what im supposed to do i have no way to see other than get rides to her house or see her at work or vice versa weve only seen each other a handful of times within the past year it feels like its worth it every time i get to see her i truly do love her and seeing makes my world just a little brighter and shes been stressed at home for reasons i wont explain i felt that this was coming sometime soon because she hadnt been responsive most likely because of how clingy i tend to get for a couple weeks but with the whole coronavirus issue coming into play she has to work her butt off to provide enough income for her family she makes the most money and works at walmart for around  im hoping its just the stress getting to her but at this point ive just given up shes like one of the only reasons i want to live my life to the fullest left i dont want her to go away but i want the best for her im giving up on everything i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
13182,sfa also saw annemarie deluise pop in and out while i was there either shes in the ep or peters directing it either way  awesome ,0.0
13183,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
13184,is counting my blessings and wow what a long list ,0.0
13185,i dont know where else to go i need help i dont know where else to go i have two kids who i love they are the only reason i keep goingthey are only temporary once the youngest one is  them that is it i have a count down clock over my head i wont have anything else to giver no reason for being i am desperate i am sad i am nothing i need help i dont know what to do please help me,3.0
13186,uhhh bored and got new shoes ummm bored as i said again  so yea  lol my face off,0.0
13187,witchywriter ,0.0
13188,oconel not yet probably wont have time until after my holiday  but then again it wont go anywhere ,2.0
13189,knweiss tried vidzone too much ads poor usability every  app seems to use different buttons for navigation ,2.0
13190,ive used all my daily photo uploads for today  how will i live ,2.0
13191,ive been thinking about title fight all day im so sad damn ,2.0
13192,just lost  dollars   httptweetsg,2.0
13193,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
13194,on lonely nights i start  fade ,2.0
13195,very excited the cutest little chinese is staying with me this weekend ,0.0
13196,turkishgoddess well then we should hit miyayo sooon i need  get up outta here as well hollywood is pretty tiring ,2.0
13197,shexotic well seebut i think he goes down in  possibly even   well see though  ,0.0
13198,rt realjeffreyp there is a group of democrats who i used  know personally  a long time they call themselves the arizonamafia and the,2.0
13199,ii thnk all my friends r asleep nobdy is txtn me ,2.0
13200,tvuongg ughh that sounds really depressing ,2.0
13201,here to relate i want to to share my deepest feelings hopefully it helps someone because this is the best ive felt in  years in retrospect i view depression as an invisible demon seen any horror movies the conjuring this demon approaches softly at first almost a comforting friend it leaves and returns soon its holding your hand its worse than most any real diseases because of so many reasonsnot that pain is a competition by any meansbut we have  suicides in the us every nightthis post will be longback to demon man eventually he molds into your body no more holding hands it has your heart your brain your appetite your love your self respect your hope your lust your lifesuddenly deja vus become depressing because you completely forget that happiness ever existed inside your bodyuntil a memory makes you rememberthis fleeting feeling lasts  seconds and it met with inevitable intense yet quiet despaironce the demon had compromised you it cannot be independently banished you may think you could fend it off yet its already inside you might as well be mining obsidian with a wooden pickaxe thats a sad yet respectable tragedy at the end of the day cuz who mines obsidian with the worst toolyourselfwe depressionists are usually incredibly strong yet ignorant because of pain the demon will deny any sort of hope as he laughs like plankton controlling the mech machine in spongebobyou arent homehow could you fix you if you dont even know you anymorehm my storystarted in  grade i was weird and different and outspoken i was never an organized kid looking back im sure people viewed me as a little different but not off i dont give a fuck if youre off or different but other normies do anywayfamily life was pretty bad super depressed mother super depressed dad i feel like im the same age as them emotionally im the youngest of  they all went to high school together i always felt like i was part of other peoples play and not allowed to run my own they would get mad if they heard that we let you sit up in your room all day and do nothing what do you mean we dont let you do what you wantanyway my family isnt the worst in the book but im hypersensitive so its a complicated scenario fast forward to high school i was doing ok freshman year i met a girl who i admired so much i still do i still love herthats not important though were talking about depressioni genuinely believe that the nicer more boisterous more sensitive caring a person is the more susceptible they are to pain depressed people can sometimes ask themselveswhy how  wtfif only they had perspective and gave themselves credit so they could build off their positive qualities instead of the hurtful onesso yeah high school was a mess didnt end up finishing my anxiety was so high i could finish  of a credit to graduate as in i only had  of a credit to gonow this is where it gets crazy i received a scarlet letter a year after that people treat people very differently based on their status closeness sex etcmy friends bullied me so subtlety again i felt like a puppet that they could throw around disassemble and put it back in any way theyd likeafter high school i moved to la for  months but depression was still there ended up moving back homeits been   years sinceit took me   years alone to see my soul againive been crying so much latelyalmost every day for the last  weeksim pulling the weeds out nowbut im afraid they will outwit the weed killeri feel lucky that i have been able to calm my brain down enough to see a little more i see the nature of the world more clearly i see the good and bad these  years ive spent alone have allowed me to get to know me some more someone is teasing me by opening the door just a half a centimeter they are waiting for me to blow it down i credit grade a music good people water love art and dogs for at least unlocking the door for me but most importantly the book called the little prince its the only book id ever recommend depressed people are hard to reach i wasnt crying for long long long long periods of time but my love for a girl i thought i didnt truly love burst through me and all my fear was gonei have someone who i dont feel like i burdeni have someone who i loveshe understands me to a ti understand her as welli feel so shitty because ik you guys dont have that i know you dont remember what love is im crying writing this but yeah its real and its whats gonna save you dont rush yourself im not giving you any advice just hope for the future i love you whoever sees this psthe little prince is amazing you also need music thats some of my only advice,3.0
13202, i uploaded a couple of pics just for you ,0.0
13203,do you feel like a pussy idk recently ive been trying to convince myself to just stop feeling so fucking bad all the time and to actually just do it ive been thinking about it all i do is cry and feel like absolute shit about myself so why cant i just do it i obviously want to why am i just such a fucking loser that i cant even do the bare minimum and off myself,3.0
13204,overeating i over eat because lm bored lm lonely and the biggest reason is that l dont feel l have enoughi know its silly but l eat out of fear that l wont get my next meal i wont give back ground info about not having enough lets just say l use the food bank amp lm poor enough said in reality lm not starving amp l have plenty to eat regardless of where l get the food all of the reasons l eat are psychological l overeat amp now l am fat so my weight depresses me more than l already was l dont feel healthy this way has anybody beat this vicious cycle i hate myself    ,3.0
13205,light therapy improves sleep cuts depression in dementia  vía medscape,0.0
13206,home from work tired but in that good way  hope everyones saturday was good,0.0
13207,i thought i was free of this its been a few months since i turned my life around i thought i was gonna be better i thought the depression was finally gone its coming back i can feel it i take comfort in being here on this subreddit with everyone here idk when it starts hitting full force again im glad i have you guys here to talk to who know what its like,3.0
13208,how am i expected to stay inside an emotional abusive house during this virus this is more of an angry rant than anything but i was just starting to get things together for myself i got a job i actually enjoyed got to be around people i actually liked had a bunch of creative pursuits starting planned a trip to europe and now its all been completely on hold and possibly changed forever cant go into work for idk how long my flights have been cancelled cant see my coworkersfriends now california announced that we are to stay at home and only go out for essentials what about us who struggle with mental health and especially who are in terrible living situations i cant stand to be in my house at all it drives me insane sometimes i dont even know why i try to improve my life when shit like this always seems to happen and get in the way fuck you coronavirus kiss my ass and please kill me,3.0
13209,trying to take a drug test and i cant pee  i been here for an hour,2.0
13210,kingaiscoolxd helicopter ,2.0
13211,umm french speakingroleplay today  waa,2.0
13212,midknightsmusee grats on your purchase ,0.0
13213,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
13214,sad sis hours,2.0
13215, weeks of quotfun in the sunquot with the usmc starts in  days i hope these  days are the longest  days of my short  year life ,0.0
13216,oh and  days to my birthday yay ,0.0
13217,cyclysm hahahaha thats your todo man you have an easy life ,0.0
13218,packetrat thx i was nervous about it but my sick was making a mess of it so i hauled out the clippers ,0.0
13219,watching jonasbrothers s livechat from the other day ,0.0
13220,irishsmiley all safe thanks  best of luck in your mini marathon in dublin the universe is w you,0.0
13221,helloe at the library right now unemployed have a job interview wednesday that im nervous as fukk fordoes anyone here play league of legends or like music and art anyone produce on fl or abletoni like those things if anyone wants to collab or play league,3.0
13222,rt hatttiegladwell please dont say you have ocd because you like your flat clean have bipolar because you had a mood swing  have,0.0
13223,time for hillaryclinton to see a mental health specialist denial ,2.0
13224,tommcfly   haha i love yourfacial expression this one is intense ,0.0
13225,just back from zante feeling depressed today missing the sunshine amp cocktails ,2.0
13226,i love dogs ive always loved all animals but especially dogs recently i offered to sit a relatives dog when they were out of town or busy for a weekend or whatever everytime i have her i find myself so much happier its easy to get out of bed when i know i have to take her outside i love coming home and hearing her trotting up to me from another room i love getting outside in the sun and walking her everyday and then she leaves and its the hardest thing everytime it probably sounds silly to a lot of people that me a grown man would be sitting here crying because of a dog thats not even mine and i know ill see her again in a couple days or a week but i cant help it i really miss her,3.0
13227,ahh man  back  work  def gonna miss my lil man gnite to my few twiggas lol,2.0
13228,boarding  shnicolerz come with meeeeee ,0.0
13229,andysgoodelife i love how she starts hyperventilating she probably becomes an actress  lol,0.0
13230,usawantsmcfly exams make me mad  usawantsmcfly,2.0
13231,very stupid please help iam very stupid and this is the primary cause of my depression people think i just dont care i dont understand what to do iam so stupid people are not even able to understand my emotions ,3.0
13232,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
13233,rt theweirdworld the acronym for social anxiety disorder is sad,2.0
13234,its a glorious dayup with the birdsmore portfolio editing today and er website stuff ,2.0
13235,getting the keys to the new house tonight  yahhh,0.0
13236,im losing interest in everything im slowly starting to lose interest in everything around me i dont want to talk to anyone i dont want to do anything i just want to sleep amp forget i got denied a promotion at work ive been working so hard for my girlfriend left me ive relapsed when i was a month cleansober and started drinking heavily again as well as using my body aches and my mind is in overdrive i just want it to all stop,3.0
13237,tiff chan ampwe cannot afford cue  ,2.0
13238,im not sure if what i have is depression when i was younger and still in  grade i realized that i didnt love myself and started hating myself from there on out that could definitely be seen as depression but now is different i dont ever get sad randomly theres always some rogue thought that comes in and when it hits it hits hard and the pain can last anywhere from a day to a week before i can finally get over it but these thoughts come in completely randomly first thing when i wake up and in the last moments when im laying in bed and everywhere in between and they come fairly often i dont know if its actually depression or just the appearance of itor is it that feeling of necessity of wanting to die not necessarily wanting to kill myself but just wanting to not think or breathe or be around to which killing myself seems like the best and most optimal answer as it does not directly involve anyone else and the most teliable way to try to bring that nothingness about because i definitely delve into that very often with cutting being the sole relief i haveso is it just me being sad for the majority of my life or is it a legitimate case of depression,3.0
13239,ive been on karaoke for  hours  i love it,0.0
13240,what up my tweets another day in the atl going to see if i can go the whole day and not be on facebook ,2.0
13241,in the spillway with jason and dustin crabbing ,0.0
13242,rt kieraplease half the time i dont even be knowing why im sad sadness just be slapping me in the face for no reason,0.0
13243, lol i think we might try one but we have a few bits in  xx,0.0
13244, then you dont have the right people feeling you ,0.0
13245,k sad,2.0
13246,summer break hope everyone is having a good time ,0.0
13247,clothesminded you were so cute on the video too and that sweater you were knitting is now done ,0.0
13248,whats the first step in asking for help im in vancouver canada and not sure how to go about getting help i believe i have been suffering from depression most of my life and suicidal thoughts have gone up significantly this past month i find comfort in the idea of death but need the thoughts to go away since my little sister is dependant on me can i just go to a walk in clinic and tell the doc how im feeling ,3.0
13249,just another sars is coming ,0.0
13250,craving for kfc mac and cheese and keropok lekor yang lembut semalam nak beli  dua dua tak ada am sad ,1.0
13251,i want to see my baby ,2.0
13252,rt  i get sad so easily something is wrong w me,1.0
13253,my phone has got to go it just deleted every text in my inbox ,2.0
13254,i feel so dumb and lazy i feel like depression has made me unable to live i used to be the smart one get things on the go and i sometimes still do when in company of teachers but when im alone which is most of the time because im anxious of going out my productivity and comprehension drop to the point when i spend all my day thinking about one concept currently berkeleys criticism of locke and cannot find myself going anywhere with it it makes me want to go take a nap and i dont really have time for that i should be studying for my finals but i will probably take a nap in a moment because im stuck and lazy im scared that i wont be able to do anything in my life because everything is so exhausting and hard even the things i like i dont think i like anything anymore – im just trying to like things only so people wouldnt think im so useless and boring but i am i guess and it seems like i cannot change that because i dont have sufficient mental capability and any energy left to do that only thing i care about right now is not making my mom extremely disappointed in me i dont think i can avoid that though me writing this all kinda shows the type of behavior i engage in – when i get bored or frustrated because i cannot understand something i think about my situation in a biased way that is supposed to make me give up and postpone my responsibilities – like i can always take those tests next year right im so annoying,3.0
13255, thats the spirit ,0.0
13256, he may even let you use the dremmel ,0.0
13257,ilsansqueen so sad,2.0
13258,anthonyborton of course ,0.0
13259,feels like hes wasted so much time tonight and perhaps in the last  years of his life  god is my drinking ban over yet,2.0
13260,on my way home giving twin atlantic a miss couldnt even get into the courtyard they were in thats twice ive missed them now ,2.0
13261,this day was sooo amazing  with all the guys haha x,0.0
13262,is going to die ,2.0
13263,had a beautiful day at the beach soon going to the pool ,0.0
13264,oh by the way  buy it  ,0.0
13265,going to town on the wii fit who knew losing weight could be so fun ,0.0
13266,rt depresseddarth therapist what have you been doing to relieve stressme ,1.0
13267,cynthiaruthn that sucks ,2.0
13268,i wish i could be at the mtv movie awards  haha someday people    ha i wis,2.0
13269,needs to study time  coffee and motivation ,2.0
13270,woulddid you tell your employer about your mental health i started going back to work after being on paid family leave and ive been so depressed i wake up late to work every single day and cant manage to get to work on time im talking  hours late im afraid im going to get fired soon because of itim lied to my coworker about the time im supposed to come i today and said i just havent updated my schedule when ive actually came in almost  hours late im making up for it by staying at work longerim such a mess i feel like i should just quit and stay in bed forevershould i tell my employer about my mental health if you have how did you go about it,3.0
13271,is on hour  of the most boring orientation ever its literally making me sad ,2.0
13272,skylinedreams and i also have my huge student loan which is like  at least  i needs a job up here,2.0
13273,jamcs that happened to me when i got a  day ban its been  months since i last got banned and still no guide tool ,2.0
13274,so all of the merch i got yesterday are like tents on me i wanted to wear my quotlikelikequot shirt tomorrow for pictures ,2.0
13275,rt awktaku i have terrible postcon depression help me  ﾟ´д｀ﾟﾟ,1.0
13276,people say im pretty all the time but how can i believe them when ive never been kissed  im  via zenjar ,2.0
13277,rt jianghomeshi greetings track  is now playing what is smartphone addiction and fomo doing to our mental health ,2.0
13278,recent college graduate feeling stuck im also bipolar im feeling so incredibly depressed right now that i tried to write whats going on in my life on this post but i cant bring myself to because i just dont care i dont want to move or think i just want to be gone until the feeling passes i dont know how else to describe it ,3.0
13279,should be submitting my iphone app to apple later today v pleased with version  loads a features ,0.0
13280,embarrassed about my existential crisis ive been battling meaninglessness feelings in my life for years the last  years have been particularly bad i feel confident that i am having an existential crisis but i feel very embarrassed to talk about this i perceive it is easy for most people to think im just lazy or unmotivated or entitled if i try to explain it i am actually none of these things but dips into major depression plus a likely dysthymia have really wrecked me by some miracle i am still employed and high functioning to society but the ice is getting thin just hoping some of you can relate peace to all ,3.0
13281,revision ,2.0
13282,smlimon in my defense id just luke to say that it was my first time at the pecan festival and the drinks were free  i had fun,0.0
13283,zacharyquinto we think one of our friends looks like you so he is known by everyone as sylar   so cool y x,0.0
13284,carlagon but its not you who i miss  haha joke lang i miss you too p are you going to zobel on thursday ,0.0
13285,should my financial situation make me happy im  years out of college i have no school loans left to pay off no remaining car payments nothing im banking all of my salary im living at home with my parents and saving up forsomethingi always read people wishing they had more money so they could buy things they want do things theyve always wanted to do but i dont feel like doing anything i dont like to do things even with good friends i have a large backlog of games to play but i only ever play one or two before i get bored and browse redditi dont know if im depressed ive always been like this im on a healthy dosage of anxiety medication that lets me live daytoday but ive never had a girlfriend ive never kissed a girl i get no matches on tinder i guess im unattractive but i never really felt like i was an ugly guyi dont have any hobbies i dont have anything to look forward to the only thing i can think of doing to improve my life is moving out of my parents getting my own place trying to convince myself to hit the gym then trying to work my way into more social situations but i just cant build up the energyi am horrible in oneonone situations when im around a lot of people i can even be the center of attention and cause a lot of laughs but its extremely hard to hold a conversation for more than  minutes with anyone even a close friend or relativei dont really have anywhere to go with this post hello,3.0
13286,my babys turnin   shes growin up so ddammmm fastt my lil munchkin butt funstation pizzaampcake wooowhooo ,0.0
13287,its weird not seeing brittany and her nightly routine  quotoh no its drippingquot ,2.0
13288,i feel like im pushing everyone away and not being grateful for the time they give me its just so frustrating to think that my family and closest friends are always there for me yet im close to never there for them i feel like i cant do things right around people i snap at them and get all angry for no apparent reason i feel like i just dont like talking to them these few months i feel so hopeless and lost since so many things are literally falling apart my relationship with my parents arent really on the best of terms at the moment i feel like im being too defensive yet they always accuse me of things i obviously didnt do and now theyre saying they arent im so lost i feel like im seriously loosing all my loved ones and being so disrespectful to them i dont know what to do,3.0
13289,mikeybinvegas im jealous ,2.0
13290,another well started day but now its even rainy ,0.0
13291,kelly and i have something in common ,0.0
13292,is at the gym working her butt offliterly ha missing her trainer ,2.0
13293,homework ,2.0
13294,happy belated  posts to me  yey,0.0
13295,had a full day  however i feel strangely empty ,2.0
13296,gabysslave thanks for the insight its my first one done solo hoping to get it up on tues after editing at uni ,0.0
13297,clwydian nah  when a single person posts about  tweets a day is hard to cope with on my android phone when im unable to filter ,2.0
13298,ive had chronic health issues for a few years and my friends and family are sick of hearing about it my doctor found two lumps during an exam yesterday and now im waiting to find out if its cancer i havent told anyone because i feel like my health problems are driving people away i just needed to vent because its scary and i hate not being able to talk about it,3.0
13299,roryjames  sends smishes,2.0
13300,just said bye to my nonna shes going to brazil for  months  im going to miss her,2.0
13301,evening all i greet u with a headache  anyone had a really wicked day,2.0
13302,speech tomorowso freaked ,2.0
13303,were currently playing honduras ranked no  in the world cup qualifiers weve slid from  to   after  minutes ,2.0
13304,kinda wanting the old lonely island back    ,2.0
13305,melissacarolina haha it was random walmart trip turned into a snack trip ,0.0
13306,fortunately minecrafts site does the former theyre about to separate me from my money  i just know it,2.0
13307,jubehambone my grandma inspired me plus they look goodat least it will one me ,0.0
13308,audreythebaby what no i didnt notice i dont check twitter often eh why did he delete  my looooooe  hahahah,2.0
13309,watching the hgtv channel because i cant figure out the tv here ,0.0
13310,  my fat brother whom i love  lol,0.0
13311,siete oniisan do you know how sad it is that no one wants to play with me aka stop rejecting my beach vacation ,2.0
13312,my depression has taken over once again and i have no one to talk to ive been laying in bed for  days i havent showered ive barely eaten my intrusive thoughts are nonstop i feel so isolated and incredibly lonely of the few friends i actually have i feel like i cannot even talk to them about how im feeling ive shut down facebook and instagram because watching people live their perfect lives is sending me even further down this spiral i am constantly comparing myself to other people and i can never live up to them i am simply at a loss at what to do for myself  just needed to rant thanks to the  people who will read this,3.0
13313,tired feeling a lil sick ,2.0
13314,is gonna work todayjust not right now ,0.0
13315,what do i have if anyone here could maybe try to diagnose me that would be awesome im not asking for a crazy specific answer just the type of depression im experiencing i guessim constantly on edge ive got this feeling in the middle of my chest that comes with me everywhere i go i can barely talk to people and when i do im awkward and sometimes even mean i dont try to be it just kinda happens also i keep physically recoiling from feelings of regret embarrassment and just general anxious thoughts also i have this weird thing where ill talk to myself in the third person and tell myself what a fuck up i was like jesus christ youre such a fucking retard i think everyone does that thoughthe feeling tends to go away when im distracted by friends but returns so fast its not even worth escaping i dont know why im like this im not popular or particularly smart or gifted but i have talents hobbies and friends and i dont really hate myself im just constantly critiquing and sometimes even breaking down almost every night i have this thing where i have to hold my head down to my lap and i kinda just scream a bit,3.0
13316,i just hit my elbow really hard ,2.0
13317,i got sad 😭,2.0
13318,watching a super depressing scrubs  this is where a cuddle buddy would be nice kthanxbai,2.0
13319,sirdzl damn that sucks  quotdestroy and rebuildquot,2.0
13320,sunmanpatu lmaofeeling rather melancholy  i care i do trying extra hard not to sound evil  hehe,2.0
13321,my picture wont come up  it keeps saying thats a nice picture but where is it,2.0
13322,rt cottoncandaddy boo thats so sad  alexa play i love it by icona pop,1.0
13323,thank you so much youre too nice ,0.0
13324,im tired of being tired i am so fucking tired of feeling like everything i do is draining my energy and even the simpliest things are hard for me its so fcking irritating because it makes me worthless piece of garbage getting up is hard going to sleep is hard i just wish everything was over,3.0
13325,mymiaomiao not working cause its a private video ,2.0
13326,i want summernow ,2.0
13327,i think its time to pull the goalie ,2.0
13328,wants to fall asleep but cant ,2.0
13329,  im so in love with my new computer setup ,0.0
13330,goodnight and good luck ,2.0
13331,mirandabuzzfans no youre not ,0.0
13332,where are my double d sistahs at bazanna amp westlifebunny you know my days are not complete without hearing from you guys ,2.0
13333, will pray for the air france victims ,2.0
13334,traciknoppe good morning to you traci   doing well how about yourself,0.0
13335,gunna go out now for my cousins birthday but would rather be with nadine ,2.0
13336,lunch  ooohh man my legs still kill amp i have back ache damn you alton towers haha too big to walk around ,0.0
13337, months later im still heartbroken tldr high school crush plays with my feelings saying that he loves me but posts the same thing to someone else on instagram less than a week later im still heartbroken even after  months what can i doi dont really expect anyone to read this wall of text i wrote it just to vent but if you happen to read the tldr advice is welcomefirst of all let me tell you about myself im a  year old bi male from a conservative family and living in the closet because of thati grew up pretty much without close friends of my age mainly because i live in a dangerous part of the city and it was way safer to just be home at all times i had friends of course but all of them were from school and i would only see them there this resulted in years later me being extremely introverted socially awkward and afraid of hanging out with friendshigh school came and i made some progress i had real good friends that i cared about and loved but i never overcame the fear of hanging out with them i was still only seeing them at school spoiler alert i didnt overcome it to this dayas i have told you earlier im very introverted and socially awkward this played a big role in  when i had my first crush she would always sit on the chair in front of me and we would spend all day talking about anything we did very well at school so the teachers didnt mind when i finally got the courage to tell her about my feelings she told me that she didnt like me that way it was a punch in the gut but it wasnt over some time later i found out that she was intentionally flirting with me just to brag to her friends years later it came to my knowledge that she did that to a lot of boys before and after me this girl taught me something new im a very bad at moving on i lingered the feeling for months i felt bad for a long time but i eventually got over itits  the last year of high school the pressure of trying to be accepted in college was at its highest where i live students can do a hell of a big test and use their grades to compete for a scholarship it was april when depression hit me hard the pressure was overwhelming and my lack of social abilities didnt help at all i wanted to be like a normal friend but i couldnt i was terrified of going out i thought about suicide for nearly one third of the year i do write down the days that i think about killing myself although i did very well at the test and ended getting my scholarship in the university of my choice it was a pretty bad year for me did bring another thing for me i got my second crush he was a man this time he was one of my friends to this day im a closeted bi so i really couldnt make a move towards telling him what i really felt besides all that he was a straight guy i really had no chancethe whole year passed and i spent all that time burying my feelings for him but they were still therewe are in  now school is over so i havent seen my school friends in a while we did keep contact though we did text each other on group chats and social media everyday on  i got a message from my male that i had a crush on he told me that he was bi and really liked me for a long time i was speechless after all that time i found out that my crush from high school was actually bi and liked me back that was one of the best days of my life he said that he loves me i finally knew how it felt to have corresponded lovelater that day things got a bit hot and we exchanged nude picturesbut if this was a happy story i wouldnt be telling it here righti finally overcame my fear of hanging out and asked if he wanted to watch a movie with me on the next weekend it would be the first time we ever met out of school later that week he posted on his private instagram account that he was in love with someone else he didnt know that i was following his private account on instagram that post destroyed me in such way that i didnt even know it was possible he played with my feelings i was miserable actually i still am even though this happened  months agohe tried contacting me several times in those  months i didnt reply i also got him out of my social media for my own good of course i got a little bit better with the time but it still hurts a lot every time when im having fun doing something i like i remember what happened and everything turns miserable i already knew that im bad at moving on but this is becoming too much im mourning a relationship that i never had how could i be this hurt by something so short in terms of timethese stories made me what i am today a socially awkward virgin who didnt even have his first kiss yet and i feel like shit because in the inside i still like him even after the damage he did to me,3.0
13338,davestyles aww im sorry to hear that  drink some medication hope you get well soon ,2.0
13339,brandonheath welcome back ,0.0
13340,finally added twitterberry ,0.0
13341,still hate that tim speedle was killed off on csi miami  ,2.0
13342,yep my b day today they usually do that the buggers ,2.0
13343,quotthe sun is in the sky and it is gonna be a gloriuos dayquot so im going to shower and get some vitamin d  its hotteras hot as yesterday ,0.0
13344,thizgurl indeed then we shall recruit her into ninjirate ,0.0
13345,everyday is donothingday i just cant seem to find the motivation to do anything i find myself wondering about the significance of doing anything if i could easily die tomorrow does it really matter anyway i have zero focus  zero motivation the perfect storm for a college student yay i remember myself being an eager freshman doing things on time staying uptodate with schoolwork it makes me feel worse,3.0
13346,i cant wake up i have tons of health issues including breathing problems which is why i always want to sleep when i lie down it becomes hard to breath thats why i cant sleep normally my family has barely enough money to buy food and pay for internet so i cant see a doctorthe best part is when people tell me things like lol do you even sleep its like theyre blindi want to fight but i cant wake up,3.0
13347,ordered a diffuser necklace today lets see if i can use essential oils to work on my anxiety about certain things,1.0
13348,too depressed to be normal too normal to be depressed recently i was diagnosed with moderate depression my gp and a psychologist i had seen a while back have stated that its not bad enough for me to get a prescription for antidepressants i felt like this was my only method of getting out of the loop trust me ive tried exercise friends etc i can never maintain it i really dont know what else to do ive considered seeing yet another doctor and perhaps lying  ,3.0
13349,not sure why im up   when i didnt hit the sheets till like  but we  early morning lawamporder amp nickelodeon toons  yeeesss   ,0.0
13350,  my friend sierra wh doesnt want her pic taken and she is moving away ,2.0
13351,icamudont me neitherchest painz all night ,2.0
13352,bugsywife have fun cant wait to come over when it is all set up  hint hint,0.0
13353,i am so bored and no one wants to go to the movies with me ,2.0
13354,signed up for broadband today could take  weeks ,2.0
13355,how do i not fake excitement and enjoyment in life i feel like when im in one of my more depressed points in my life i just fake my excitement and enthusiasm for things that normally i enjoy but in these times i just cant seem to i just wanna know if i should continue to fake it until i feel normal or no idk what to do ,3.0
13356,packing for the pi  china woot ,0.0
13357,ddlovato   i went it was amazing but too bad i had to fly back to florida   brazil was so nice,2.0
13358,cat nap  ,0.0
13359,finally spoke to my parents about my depression i  have been living with depression for the better part of a year now i was always afraid to tell my parents because they worry too much and i didnt want them neglecting their own health over minehowever the circumstances over the past few days added with the  outbreak and the subsequent quarantine has broken me like no other and i finally opened up to my parents about my feelingsthey told me to stop being a baby and to just snap out of itwhat do i do now i have never felt so lost in my life and this is coming from a person who hasnt had a proper social interaction in more than a year any help would be much appreciated thank you,3.0
13360,just getting back outside after my asthma attack my chest is already starting to hurt  grrr,2.0
13361,arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh am switching off radio now am feeling very very depressed horrid week ,2.0
13362,depression im sad emotions building up idk what to do its  and i have to do stuff in the morning and no matter what i cant laugh i tried just stuff i used to laugh at isnt funny,3.0
13363,fishkinz i was actually responding to your tweet about flushing our dns ,0.0
13364, i know right edward was in my dreams last night ,0.0
13365,insekticid je to sranda bych nekdy taky zkusil ,0.0
13366,i woke up this morning and i was perfectly okay with dying i closed my eyes last night at about  am opened them looked at the time and it was an hour before my alarm was set to go off i didnt feel like i had slept at all and suddenly i was overcome with this feeling of just not wanting to live anymore that if something crashed through my roof and ended me id be okay with it at least my anxieties and uncertainty about my future would be over then while scrolling through twitter i saw something that made me laugh and i was able to get out of bed and make it through another day just one more thats what i keep telling myself just one more day,3.0
13367,finally home gonna change clothes and head to the barber shop optimistic about tonight  ,0.0
13368,sleep zzz but all alone ,2.0
13369,anxiety is through the roof right now,0.0
13370,isnt looking forward to waking up so early ,2.0
13371,exams are lame nnnn psych tomorrow ,2.0
13372,therealnobody  youltgoes back to waitinggt lol  sighhhhhh,2.0
13373,andandbecks  you guys will win i know it  um what does quotbecksquot stand for d,0.0
13374,blech thought i worked at  tomorrow but i actually work at  ,2.0
13375,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13376,trying to make my daughter do the tooth wiggle but she aint having it  ,2.0
13377,vonbon wow that was quick i suppose it must be easier by the fourth time hope you and greer are having a relaxing setlling in time ,0.0
13378,hilikuslnf thanks for that no i havent got around to that in drupal yet gonna start exploring more today ,0.0
13379,joemochas oh sweet have a grand old time ,0.0
13380,kittenfreaky happy birthday ,0.0
13381,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
13382,whoa  subscribers this excites me greatly ,0.0
13383,thenewbnb try searching on youtube red white and brown its hilarious as usual ,0.0
13384,visit  everyday until aug  and vote daily airdrie calgary yyc alberta edmonton yeg ,0.0
13385,fansitesnetwork congrats to ellen and chris ivery yay ,0.0
13386,i dont know what to do i dont know if i am depressed or not i have tried to kill myself before but couldnt go through with it that was when i left home for the first time and was lonely that was like  years ago i was fine for last  years now not exactly totally happy but i was doing fine started college  years ago tried talking to people and who knew i did make some friends they are awesome best things in my life besides my family but as of late i am getting that feeling back from  years ago i am about to finish college i am leaving my family and friends behind i need to start my life start a job and everything but nowadays even with friends i dont feel like talking or doing anything actually i either play games all day long or just browse youtube even if with friends i get really sad most of the times thinking about even simple stuff dreaming a lot of dying sobbing at simple things i dont even know what i am going to do after college and dont think i even care and its just around the corner i dont know why i made this post but i just wanted to share i guess and sorry for bad english not thinking about punctuation and grammer at the moment so just wrote whatever i had in mind ,3.0
13387,nickcarter hi nick well i hope tant you asnwer me i really want to talk whit you anly like a friend well i hope you read this ,2.0
13388,whoissarahwood why you in bad mood hun i still have a headache from yesterday ,2.0
13389,nickcarter hey im so pissed off mad for those prices for the soundchecks  sorry i can not pay that  so sad no,2.0
13390,im a sick court  stupid ear infection,2.0
13391,heading to the up for a long weekend  long overdue ,0.0
13392,omg my bffs bday is in  days and he is in spain first in  yrs i wont talk to him at  ,2.0
13393,audio thieves like us  really like to see you again drugs are bad  ,2.0
13394,artbychrysti  youre still not as old as ethel ,0.0
13395,maft scratch that it is actually only  weeks ,2.0
13396,im sick with a bad cold or some sort of bronchitis ,2.0
13397,enjoying a lovely sunday ,0.0
13398,my wife has started a blog discussing her depression and what helps her keep going i apologize if this type of post is not allowed here ive had minimal interaction on this sub with my main account tending to post when im feeling at my lowest and i appreciate the help i receive this is the account i use when the information in the posts can easily be tagged to me in real life so has a bit of a sparser historymy wife and i have dealt with depression with varying degrees of success for roughly  years now one thing that has helped her to feel better about herself is being able to write about her experiences her highs and her lows and putting it out on the internet for people to read she did this previously when we were dealing with our transition from a single faith family to a mixed faith family when i left the religion of our youth and shes started again following some facebook posts disparaging the use of mental health medication just get out and enjoy life lol type drivel that left her seethingid like to share her httpsgritgetsgoalscomthefirstcrash here talking about  years ago when she first discovered that she had been dealing with mental illness i hope that her journey through life can help people recognize when and how they can find help,3.0
13399,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
13400, genius back to lectures now ,2.0
13401,i think im going to bed now ,2.0
13402,not sure what exactly is going on today but hopefully going to ryans house tonight ,0.0
13403,is eating some pizza hut no class til next week yay and the kids were pretty good they cant wait to see me tomorrow ,0.0
13404,garveyben sanity is over rated anyway  some of your posts seem sad not sure of your situation but its good to look forwards ,0.0
13405,thisisdavina davina i shall be standing at my usual spot by the stairsplease may i have your cue cards ,2.0
13406,life feels like a never ending to do list shop go to work call this person make that appointment plan for your future clean up educate yourself etc an endless to do list that i need to complete on little energy reserves under a giant cloud of uncertainty im stuck on a treadmill,3.0
13407,words of wisdom to donniewahlberg if you dont want to cry do not watch quotmarley and mequoti am bawling now ,2.0
13408,is bored nothing to do on a saturday morning ,2.0
13409,very sick  i have not been out of bed all day,2.0
13410,xxtisheryxx and now ive showed him i can be happy without him and hes growing distant  why must it work this way,2.0
13411,bored at home alone i cant manage to get up on my own i think i have to go to the bathroom too ,2.0
13412,rt  what fewer women in stem means for their mental health httpstcoxkckrwgots edchat edtech ,2.0
13413,im worried by the end of this ill kill myself anyway ive been struggling with depression for more than  years from my early years of high school i thought about killing myself on a daily basisi have persistence and will to live but i cannot take care of myself under my parents carethey currently pay for my college and i live without paying rent my mom complains that i never help around the house i offer to help my mom clean things and she gets angry when i do and says ill make a bigger mess and undo what shes donemy dad still tracks my phone says that im a freeloader who doesnt work and doesnt pay rent and that i need to get my shit together for school but ive told him several times we can negotiate my rent and that i do work and i work well where i do and i actually feel i am well liked by my coworkers and managers its been my  year at a community college ive failed some classes which i am retaking to ultimately receive an environmental engineering degree and i hope to minor in computer science i need to transfer to a  but i have no direction i am under weight i have no appetite and i cant focus on what i wanthow can i possibly keep my will and goals if my parents constantly doubt me ,3.0
13414,pilky ok  thanks,0.0
13415,i didnt stab at you i really do want some  ,0.0
13416,i made rice and didnt burn it i gained some self confidence from this,3.0
13417,ohhh got applegeeks  on the mail this morning and finnished reading it already need more ,2.0
13418,im searchin  anotha pair of sneakers bc my regular  r still soakin wet from runin in da pourin rain yeasterday mornin  so far no luck,2.0
13419,just a tad miffed i cant get fraps to do hd recording with sound really wanted to publish the later trailers in hd ,2.0
13420,sobrang naaawa na ko kay mikasa hahaha lagi nalang syang naistress kasi laging nakikidnap si eren langya,0.0
13421,hintswen i know ,0.0
13422,watching the movie awards ,0.0
13423,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
13424,kissedbymandie im in bk chillen i was havin a couple drinks and eatin but im still out here i miss my twins ,2.0
13425,morning blockheads  xx,0.0
13426,just rambling dont mind me i just need to ramble for a bit because ive just realized how bad of a depressive episode im having and dont know who id even talk to if i wanted to vent facetoface im usually riddled with anxiety which even though it definitely has its drawbacks usually ends up at least making me a bit productive however it just hit me this last month or so ive been a slug i cant find the will to do anything with even the slightest hint of enthusiasm im exhausted and cant muster the courage to care about anything important let alone myself ive been going through motions and trying to find happiness in daytoday life but i just cant im tired of it all everyone is just so tiresome its as if when i try to be happy all i can see is other peoples misery and that just well it brings me back down i feel wrong being content when the people around me arent its so draining to try and be present for people to try and left them up when it feels so pointless it reminds me that im completely worthless if at my best i cant make others smile then what the fuck am i ive never felt more isolated and alone i need help from those closest to me so fucking back but i cant ask for support when they clearly need it more than me ive dedicated my life to helping people and while i can find so much comfort while im at work knowing that im at least making a minuscule difference in a strangers life i fall apart when i realize i cant do that for the people i hold dear i suppose its no use trying to help someone fix something when im broken myself but i wish i was able i feel like im of no use to anyone and it just hurts like if im so useless then whats the point you know nothing has meaning today and i hate how selfish that statement makes me but im tired tired of trying to be present when so many people seem to have checked out mentally tired of putting forth so much effort only to be met with this weird apathy ive fallen into a pit of grey all i have are various substances to numb any feeling that might slip through the cracks i just dont know what to do,3.0
13427,im need to help my brothers friend i need help i am currently  years old and i have been trying to figure out how i can help my older brothers friend zack  zack is  right now and has major depression and anxiety zack has a supportive family and the church his family attends is tight knit church that has been together since are parents immigrated to canada over  years agofrom what i have been able to gather without rocking the ship zack was always an awkward guy along with his father his depression started when he was about  he has never abused any substances zack also gets a job sometimes but he can never keep it for any longer than a weeki can see the pain his sister and mother endure once my cousin who has depression made a depression joke and she heard it from a few meters away and i could see that she was devastated i cant stand to see people in need of help not getting help my friend started abusing opiates and my friends and his family are trying are best to help him recover and stay clean i guess i have a few questions my layoutformat might be off because i had suffered a brain injury last week and im still recovering•what helps you when you are feeling low•how would you want the conversation to flow when talking to someone you dont know•how can i be a non intimidating guy that you would want to be friends with •how is the best way to be supportivei am unable to think of any more questions and i know im definitely missing some key questions please help me out i cant take this pain much longer please let me know what ive missed and any and all tips are useful thank you all in advance stay strong,3.0
13428,tips for going to psychriatric wardinpatient more specifically adolescentchildrens inpatient hi reddit today i told the counselor im suicidal and idk if im going to get hospitalized im probably going there anyways my ketones are off the charts lmao  i know every place is different but uhh yeah idk what to saydo places generally usually allow cell phones personal items i hear about no cordswiressafety issue so im assuming no earbuds 🤷🏻‍♀️also are you typically forced to go to group therapy lastly will i be allowed to take insulin by myself just wondering because it usually hurts when others do itsorry if this is really disorganized im idk but thnx,3.0
13429,brittgoosie aww huggles well some people are just shit heads  fuck em,2.0
13430,frozenlilacs  awesome ,0.0
13431,cant wait to see new moon  ,0.0
13432,loss of emotion i am concerned  i feel like i genuinely dont care anymore about anything  about myself especially  when sad things happen i dont feel that sad and i cant even remember the last time i was truly genuinely happy  i feel like i am living in this middle state where i am not really living  just going through the motions like half of my conscious is in a deep sleep or something  i just dont think i will ever be satisfied with anything life has to offer me and i want to be able to change that but i feel trapped  by myself by other peoples expectations by money etc  i also feel like i cant make a genuine connection with people anymore like i am just this fake sweet person who tries to get along with people but secretly doesnt care  people just have always let me down and i find it hard to care about others except a very select few  but even my own family and friends i really struggle to talk to or connect with  in the past people have just really fucked with me and i just find i cant trust anyone so i just shut myself off from people  i just feel nothing most of the time and all i want is to be happy and to get out of this place i just dont know where or how  please help,3.0
13433,just some thoughts i need to say im new to reddit and this might not be a good place to start posting but whatever i always have the feeling that my problems are trivial compared to others and saying otherwise will make me narcissistic if i try to talk to my friends theres always a part of me saying that they dont care for me and that im no good for anyone it may be more anxiety than depression but it leads to feelings of depression im too scared to go to a therapist for personal reasons and i havent even been diagnosed yet im not yet  and telling my parents is something my brain nor my body are ready for my wife its a friend thing yknow is someone i tell these things to but im scared that im overwhelming her with my problems that are little to nothing compared to hers this is all more anxiety than anything but it leads to me just laying down and thinking i think then i cry silently then i sleep because its better than talking to peopleif you read the whole thing thank you my problems should be the least of your concerns yet here you are reading,3.0
13434,brawngpfanblog sorry didnt realize youd done some already so i did some too  maxout,0.0
13435,mikeyway   hahaha i saw that on eotc and anberlin when tbs played jimmy kimmeli want one ,0.0
13436,mileycyrus the climb finally a song i can appreciate which is a big step for mefor you kudos ,0.0
13437,icharlotte i did  but i was subtly trying to influence the results ,0.0
13438,got so burnt today i may look like a cherry tomato ,2.0
13439,not feeling good  lesson learned never ever overeat before going home,2.0
13440,romzkeepomski just always do the right thing ,0.0
13441,meechellee im pretty sure you probably knew that advice already  ,0.0
13442,myspacebarbie dats wuhhsup mami he uhh keeper   follow josipondeck  lt he duhh truth  ,0.0
13443,rorybecker thanks yeah ive been looking at some of the great community plugins  to see the true power of dxcore using a few now ,0.0
13444,awaiting beach hunnybunnies return from the carribean  its been a long eight days  i miss them ,2.0
13445,im so tired he left and now i cant find the point of living anymore he was literally the reason why i took my medications and everything none of that matters now,3.0
13446,i feel like my depression has been worsening with time and age and im not sure what to do id really appreciate any advice i can get ive been depressed for as long as i can remember im  now and even when i think back to my earliest childhood i remember feeling a profound sense of unhappiness and hopelessnessbut as i get older i feel my symptoms are getting worse ive had severe mood swings since my midlate teens i can feel my mood change from feeling neutral or sometimes even somewhat happycontent to wanting to cry and wishing i could die over the course of a minute with no apparent causeover the past three or so years ive developed these daydreams i guess id call them ive always had a vivid imagination but in bad episodes of depression i now get plagued by these daydreams of horribly violent deaths that i can see and hear and feel stepping into traffic and getting hit by a car falling from the top floor of a hotel i was staying in cutting myself open with a knife getting shot to death etcand over the past year theyve worsened and now i have these delusional thoughts running through my head whenever im depressed they tell me that im not supposed to be here that im not actually human and that im suffering like this because of a mistakei know that it isnt true but it feels like it is and that scares me it makes me feel alonei feel torn in two one side is numb and cold and depressed and really wishes i was just dead but wont do it while the other looks at suicide with the excitement of a  year old going to disneylandnow i keep thinking that its good that i survived my attempt back in november because giving myself alcohol poisoning was the wrong way to do it i have this constant intrusive thought of what i can only describe as ritualized suicide or human selfsacrificemy doctors and therapists keep telling me that im just depressedbut im lost i have no fucking clue whats wrong with me,3.0
13447,tweetdeck and mobile tweeter ,0.0
13448,blindcripple indeed  yay,0.0
13449,benmontague you know all the tricks of the trade my friend im too lazy to be sneaky all my car bills ate my savings only credit left ,2.0
13450,got back in touch with an old friend tonite i miss her  but great to hear from hertime to hit da sheets,2.0
13451,why dont i care id like to add that im not depressedi thinkso im  and over the last  years ive noticed that i just dont really care for important or sad things for example my lifelong pet cat daisy passed away last summer i loved her more than anything else but when her time came and we locked eyes before she went i didnt feel particularly sad it was just like an inconvenience another example would be that i lost my apprenticeship in january because of family nstuff but i again didnt really feel anything that i probably should have feltthis is gonna sound like a flex but please dont hate me for this id say that i know much more about space and stuff for people my agei dont know if that plays a differnce but thanks if anyone takes hisher time to read this,3.0
13452,oh no such a sad afternoonmy sincere condolences to te and his family stay strong your members and your fans ,1.0
13453,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
13454, helgevakt ja ,2.0
13455,time for bed ,0.0
13456,doesnt enjoy being in on a friday ,2.0
13457,ugh uploading this video is taking forever  ,0.0
13458,jsftennis beckysterne pahstock   kayfkm qedigiv  thebigotbasher tayloche ,1.0
13459,im so confused about what i want part of me wants to work and make friends and find someone to fall in love and have a family with i wanna start being the girl that does color runs and goes to eventsbut the other side of me wants to just run away and live in my car and do drugs all day im so asocial at this point that it wouldnt matter anyways i doubt ill be able to actually make more friends maybe ill give it a few months but i dont even wanna wait that long every single day i dream of getting high thats it i dont like anything else all i need is my music and my drugs and im happy i dont think ill ever truly be happy sober,3.0
13460,hi tweeters im in bali now today i went shopping stuffs here are so cheapp havent gone to the beach yet maybe tommorow ,0.0
13461,honestly didnt know it was mothers day till  days ago and just now got her a gift i feel like a horrible child  ha yeah right,2.0
13462,i got shouted at by my mother for smoking pot in my room she is threatening to evict me i have nothing big to look forward to i have no desire to look for a job or go to college because nearly everyone i meet in similar environments are pricks and cunts i dont care about money and im probably going to kill myself if i dont get anymore help besides the weekly therapy so the weed helps me greatly to deal with this internal painmy mom is not an insane parent but she and her parents still have an old fashioned outdated mindset about pot i use pot to get over the fact that people are slowly destroying this planet,3.0
13463,hey i am on twitter and second result in wwwbingcomau search so you can ask me directly lol ,0.0
13464,is going to work  oh yess role on the weekend cant wait hope i get to see my boyy this weekend tooo  loves him much xxxx ,0.0
13465,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
13466,free coffee amp pancakes   tonight we shall be enjoying karaoke at the fox and fiddle our local at adelaide and john come join us  x,0.0
13467,good morning what a beautiful day it is  via vacantheart goodnight but yes a beautiful day it is,0.0
13468,rt joonownsme bts arent psychologiststherefore theyre not in the position to provide anything for fulfilling mental health needsthe,1.0
13469,got her new running shoes  yay  running starts up again on sunday   very happy,0.0
13470,samposnick i got pooped on on the scooter todayand then had to ride around in public  i feel your pain,2.0
13471,amazon tells me that watchmen dvdbluray is now available for preorder omg finally ,0.0
13472, sarahpalinusa you know who got this country out of a rut cause by a economic depression by he bush,2.0
13473,bad day for no particular reason so im posting on here just to get it out in writing today i woke up and literally laid in bed for an hour before i could force myself to get up and shower im having a depression day i just feel like crying for no apparent reason i know there are things i need to do today i just dont want to im gonna force myself to go out and about and get some shopping done maybe the sunlight will help,3.0
13474,rt afactspost depression is the result of over thinking the mind creates problems that didnt even exist,1.0
13475,rt heylandsberg i dont know  person with depression who doesnt feel a debilitating loss of self esteem knowing that others feel it h,1.0
13476,twitter seems empty today ,2.0
13477,spending the afternoon with my wife before she leaves for calgary for  weeks ,2.0
13478, ahhhhh fml classic crime is sold out ,2.0
13479,jonathanrknight you must be tired sweetie go to bed and relaxhave a wonderful day tomorrow  lots of love ,0.0
13480,another post to get help drowned in the quantity it feels really really strange to see so many people ask all kind of relatable questions  ago like walking to the waiting room and seeing all those people and just slowly backing out no its okay im fine better than them at least i dont need help actually im good not special or anythingmaybe its denial but its real denial then im a fucking wreck but dont even want to ask for help because i dont expect anything thatll change things im just procrastinating an hour from a deadline after sleeping the whole weekend everythings fine,3.0
13481,it is not like you look like chewbacca when you walk down the hallwho cares if you dont shave  big grins ,0.0
13482,dimplemonkey thanks  my inspiration is creation all things nature,0.0
13483,i dont want to die i just dont want to live i hate venting my problems because theyre insignificant and im very aware that there are people who would kill to be in my positionim  have a loving family and i care for them dearly my mother works tirelessly to provide for us but my depression has been getting worse again and my bulimia is out of control long story short i dont want to do this anymorei feel so alone yet i isolate myself i want a peer to talk to but i just i always end up pushing them away i want to get my life together i desperately do it just feels as if nothing is real and therefore nothing is worth it,3.0
13484,yesterday i heard a song about taking a base onto a plane can someone help me find it i dont know anything else about it ,2.0
13485,andrewjhawkins but u work for kyle dont u  no days off for ,2.0
13486,sweatypepper i turn three tarot cards then reduce the message to a tweet consider yourself on line ,0.0
13487,dropped car off to get exhaust replaced  thats � i could do without spending ,2.0
13488,i need to talk to someone other than my therapist background ive been clinically depressed have been diagnosed with social anxiety and have had suicidal ideation since i started college i started taking prozac and i was on it for about three year before i stopped because i thought i was much better and didnt need it anymore unfortunately the decision to do that was around the same time i decided to start going out and drinking alcohol  months ago which proved to be the worst decision of my life i had a crush on one of my friends for  years ive been called ugly by people including close friendsjokingly but it still hurts never had a girlfriend and have overall been subconscious about my appearance during my  years of life because of all that i didnt have any confidence in myself i kept my feelings for her to myself for a year and a half  i finally decided to tell her how i feel and she said she wasnt looking for anything right now and she would rather remain friends i was okay with that but i noticed that she became more distant and a couple times i got drunk and drunk texted my feelings  things i should never say that ended up jeopardizing our friendship through that we remain friends until three months ago i drunk texted her again and as a result she blocked me on every social media platform with no explanation the thought of losing her completely kicked in and i was trying to force a reconciliation by messaging her friends just trying to explain myself and not lose her because i really did cherished her as a friend i mentioned hurting myself and not wanting to live two days later i saw her on campus its a small university and i tried to talk to her but she ran away from me and called campus pd which led to me getting baker acted my crush had always told me how much she loves and cares about me as a friend how wed always be friends no matter and how great of a person i am so never in a million years would i think we would stop being friends people always tell me that im the nicest most thoughtful and caring person they know but everyday i wake up and feel like im the worst person in the world it has really been eating me up on the inside i lost a friend because of the mistakes i made ive never lost a friend before this the same week of the incident a couple mutual friends came up to me regarding the messages which triggered my anxiety to a whole new level i felt betrayed that the private messages i sent while intoxicated were exposed and now god knows how many people know about them i stopped drinking alcohol stopped going out deleted social media and have isolated myself and i dont plan on going back my anxiety has skyrocketed and i just have been avoiding everyone all of this was months before the pandemici know everything i did is inexcusable and i guess this is a way of punishing myself for it the suicidal ideation remain i am embarrassed i am regretful i am remorseful even if she forgives in the future i   wouldnt want her to see me again i just want everyone to forget i exist and disappear,3.0
13489,i dont know who to talk to about this this is my first time posting here but i can honestly say from just browsing here im really happy im not alone i was diagnosed with depression  years ago im  now but only recently started getting treatment for itim posting here not for advice on my depression but for advice on a different problem im very short and i have been bullied and picked on for my height a lot i became very introverted because i was ashamed of my height and felt very insecure about iti have struggled with dating and have been told im a great guy by women but that my height makes me unattractive i thought this was it to my life that i would probably just end up alone and it feels like my depression amplifies this feeling but im not surei was sitting by myself a few days ago and a girl approached me wanting to talk she asked me a few questions about religion and invited me to a bible study i was going to decline but she was persistent so i agreedi thought i would hate it but i actually enjoyed it and felt happy for once in my life theres almost  people that attend and i really enjoyed talking to this one girl who gave me her numberall sounds great right but after researching the organizations name i came to the disappointing conclusion that they are a cult i read about the things the things that members have gone through and its scary to say the leasti know most people would say i should just run and get out while i can but i feel conflicted me and this girl have been talking and i dont know for sure but she seems genuinely interested in me and doesnt mind my heighti also find myself very drawn to their material that they gave me and almost missed work because i stayed up until  reading and going over their materialits only been  days of me going there but i already made friends i have never had any friends so this is a first for me who seem like good people with all this in mind i dont know what to do if i stayed one of the members confirmed i would most likely have to stop talking to my family because they were outsidersthe girl i have been talking to also said it like it was a normal thing and made it seem like she had to do it as well i dont know what to do because for once i finally have friends and a girl seems interested in me but i also know its a cult and theres no way this could be good fo my mental healthim sorry if this post isnt allowed,3.0
13490,takeorey its all about finding out who has changed the most eh not for the worst just quotreally youre doing that nowquot situations ,0.0
13491,my friends make my depression worse they make me feel like shit about myself constantly i use to love hanging out with them they werent always like this i dont know why but they turned into a group of assholes everything i say gets put down made fun of etc i feel way worse after hanging out with them but i also have no other friends i feel like im getting constantly bullied were in our early  and i never thought this stuff would still be going on in life,3.0
13492,jonathanrknight i will take lots of pics as if you dont know what she looks like lol ,0.0
13493,im going to write a book see im not a dumbass fools ,0.0
13494,rockleesmile hey man this is my go to song for anxiety and stuff hope it could help httpstcosbnptnicop,0.0
13495,went out for just one hour in the sun yesterdaygot sever headache the whole day ,2.0
13496,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
13497,i love cleo malone ,0.0
13498, jon lester thanks for not participating on the who can give up the most runs in one inning competition ,0.0
13499,garybryanshow wowwwwww is right damn think my heart is back where it belongs again   awesome job lakers,0.0
13500, mechashinoni nicktstone the sad truth,1.0
13501,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
13502, grade me with his fullmetal alchemist tote and inuyasha tshirt is slow clapping for this tweet,2.0
13503,dallaskruse i wish i could say that i was i wasnt inspiring enough for him ,2.0
13504,danielsoares dont worry we will win at the end ,0.0
13505,thisstarchild a little touch up loike my reblonding session on friday ,0.0
13506,petit footing bien sympa  a refaire ,0.0
13507,im in so much pain that i savor it now constant pain for a long time i despised it feared it and tried to run from it at some point my brain decided to turn me into an emotional masochist as a coping mechanism its as though ive subconsciously developed a second self who craves living on the edge of life and death he wants to indulge in selfdestruction loves toxic relationships and experiences surges of euphoria when contemplating his own despair and suicidality depression is fun to him essentially he reasons that if he actively seeks pain he wont have to be in pain if that makes sense speaking objectively i ultimately want to live a normal life and i try my best to stay on top of psychiatrist appointments but he sees no point in such a thing and throws away all of the hard work that ive put in i also cant control when he takes over in public i can control him to a certain extent and in serious situations i can almost always control him but many times id prefer him to take over even as i write this he tries to intrude im not sure if i have some other personality disorder or if this is just an alter ego im conflicted because hes the one who saves me but also the one who destroys me sorry if this sounds weird im confused by it as well,3.0
13508,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
13509,vote your opinion on susan boyle    httptinyurlcomsusanboylepoll,0.0
13510,trying out twitter ,0.0
13511,beabueno youre just stressed out take it easy bey whatever it is ,0.0
13512,pens amp canucks the teams i was cheering for yesterday lost ,2.0
13513,two biology tests this week so not fair ,2.0
13514,wwwisitsaturdaynet         awwww shit  ,2.0
13515,how do people who are supposedly mentally ill get all their help recently i tried to go to a psychiatrist and it took all my effort to get the gp referral to them and try make the appointment ive needed to do this for at least  years i call their office and they tell me the psychiatrist is on a holiday and wont be back for  month call back in  month and apparently the practice is closing down so thats over never ever trying again too hard the whole process was extremely humiliating but how do these supposedly extremely mentally ill people go to psychiatrists when its this fucking hardeverybody who says they have depression seems to be well enough to get endless medical appointments wavers from university medications etc i dont have any of that nobody seems to help me i have a really painful dry eye condition but the ophthalmologist that it took me  months of pain to even go to wouldnt write a letter to my uni about it to help me and explain why i had failed a bunch of units yet i know people with all sorts of minor problems who are taken very seriously by their universities universities seem to virtue signal a lot about how much they care about their students problems  one thing i find really fascinating is people who say they are debilitated by cfs chronic fatigue syndrome and in the same post talk about how they are fighting the government in the courts to give them disability what wait what im not criticising these people but i need perspective to understand how it works how do you all have this ability to do all this and why do other people seem to help you but they dont help mei know someone who has had schizophrenia depression and a whole gamut of supposed mental issues for ages and goes to a psychiatrist for free every week they get a disability pension of  per week somehow they managed to organise the extremely difficult paperwork to get this done apparently their psychiatrist lobbied on their behalf for it but me who nobody thinks has anything wrong with me cant do soon my facebook feed people keep talking about r u ok day i dont ever get asked if im ok all these happy normies keep talking about how mental illness is serious and they have bipolar and this and that ok but if its such a big deal why dont you understand that there are so many silently sufferingso does anyone else feel like this as well that theyre somewhat left behind when i am depressed i have no power none i cannot argue with anyone i can barely stand there are times when i briefly become less depressed and feel power coming back to my veins but it is so transient  truth is i know how theres so many people that have it worse than me this rant sounds incredibly self centred and it is life isnt fair never has been ,3.0
13516,one of those days havent been able to leave bed at all today depression kicked in big time so many thoughts of self doubt and everyone hating me all ive managed to do today is nap,3.0
13517,ayekaika haha hey  yes im getting ready right now  see you in a bit boo,0.0
13518,tell me to keep going someone please tell me i can keep going,3.0
13519,alexmauricio goodnight mr mauricio ,0.0
13520,rt thicclipring favourite sad songmtvhottest ,2.0
13521,humbush just nothing perfect in life darn it ,0.0
13522,had a good workout amp dinnertime to walk the doggies then its movie night wdeeampkev  happy happy joy,0.0
13523,ugh why does it have to be wet outside there go todays plans ,2.0
13524,so bummed out just got back from shopping empty handed  couldnt find one thing i liked to buy under  my budget     ,2.0
13525,i annoy everyone im close to my best friend has started to stop reading and replying to my messages its because im too depressing to talk to she has complained about this to me before so have many other people that i am depressing to be around or that i apologize to much i hate that i am upsetting her like this i dont know what to do,3.0
13526,jasondunn seriously also i feel really bad about kassis email  we all do kinda suck at our jobs in that aspect,2.0
13527,talking doesnt help im not being funny but why is everyone the same when it comes to mental health everyone says talking helps no it doesnt for those people who are very depressed such as some of u guysgals and myself why cant somebody be different and say actually it works for some people but not everyone and suggest something else i think that people who have depression really understand and dont suggest the same old solution as everyone else if talking helps why doesnt therapy help for most it certainly hasnt for me ,3.0
13528,jenisus aww  i have to go to class on that day so imma do some weird half day thing just cause i wanna see what its about,2.0
13529,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
13530, suprisingly i wasnt expecting it causeits washington lol i assumed it was all country folk n whatnot have funn tho ,0.0
13531,no real reason to continue on a throwaway acc i just lost my fiancè she left me im a college dropout im in debt i have no real friends ive gained a ton of  weight and im constantly stressed i hate my job and i have nothing going for me ive lost so many family members this last year that if i died i dont think anyone would notice my parents and i dont see eye to eye same thing with my only sibling everything i touch comes to ruins i have nothing left not even my dog wants to spend time with me im just done,3.0
13532,its just me the alien and the mickey mouse    pigs not even here yet,2.0
13533,good morning melbourne have you had your coffee fix send through pics of your coffee this morning ,0.0
13534,happyhourmag haha i know might be filming a new show but for now taking a couple summer classes and hosting parties ,0.0
13535,listening to quot save you by the best i saw ever  simple plan quot ltlt this so is so cool everybody should listen it ,0.0
13536,my depression so recently im having huge depressiontime and i think its because of my partner well i had a awful past and im just  but still it was really hard for me so last year i got from my abusive and also alcoholaddicted grandparents to my father who should take care of me now and yeah in the new school i met this one guy ill call him t here well t helped me out of a toxic situation and was there for me and i also had a little crush on him before but when we started to talk more i realized i really love him so well we started dating but last summer he told me hes not sure about his feelings for me and since then we always had problems also im not in his first place anymore his best friend which is also a girl which is like a girl he would like to date i think but yeah so well my depression came back after the summer also because my dad completely forgot me and when i had no money anymore i couldnt eat anything anymore really we have a small flat so we dont have a lot food mostly not much and yeah so my mental health got even worse and worse with the time till november last year when i came into a hospital for one day because of depression and this stuff well i left it after a day but our relation didnt got really better and yeah theres a lot to talk about that topic and i kinda wanna talk to someone about my problem and even wanna be there for someone who has a problem so u can text me if u want to ,3.0
13537, oh yeaaah thank god for lolas   i hope u win   may a stop over here in la,0.0
13538,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,2.0
13539, have been on a year long journey of depressionrecovering from a traumatic event recently ive been making slow but significant progress but my dog died today and i feel like im back at square one i might also just be in shock but all in all its like i have to go through that whole process of grieving again when i barely just finished processing my last episode prior to today i was already emotionally exhausted and running on fumes but now i dont think theres anything left in the tank i feel so empty and i dont know what to doany adviceguidance would be helpful,3.0
13540,donniewahberghow about the picswill they count  really hope they do,2.0
13541,back home again from the uni but still no jailbreak  musclenerd is it possible that it gets released today,2.0
13542,home from aunty duty was a great day but now ive got a terrible headache ,2.0
13543,dwaq count yourself lucky  mine doesnt    they added that in later revisions,0.0
13544,good job im proud of you i just wanted to say to whoever is reading this that im proud of you for surviving another day good job on staying stronggood luck for tomorrow and so on ,3.0
13545,jordanknight ugh how did i not know this we have a celebration for john the baptist on the san juan reservation ,0.0
13546,ate today  probably gained a couple pounds too  ,2.0
13547,trainablegirl hey thanks  ahahah,0.0
13548,jordanknight luv the pic sweet dreams ,0.0
13549,omgi got asked outi dont no what to say d  hahaim not going to text him back lol,2.0
13550,ethansuplee we are ,0.0
13551,once again i accomplish the impossible at work  and get rewarded with rocky road ice cream  my loyalties are bought quite cheaply ,0.0
13552,on depression relapse  tonight im sad it swept over me with its foggy breath blanketing my skin in familiarity for weeks i was starting to feel okayi put away kitchen knives without daydreaming of what it would be like to finally carve my exiti washed clothes without question of how much bleach i deserved to chugfor once everything was okbut tonight im gonna untangle this genetic clusterfuckand giggle away the need for selfretributionand i will create new ribbons out of old knots,3.0
13553,made it back safe no accidents this year yeah but im sad back to work tomorrow ,2.0
13554,i dont think im gonna get published  well an article for the community paper isnt so bad right,2.0
13555, yes i am leading a walk tomorrow and realy prefer the sunshine to the rain then ,0.0
13556,a path of destruction to nowhere i often feel like  drugs are the only time when i feel happy  my antidepressants dont work for crap and so i just sit in my room all day and binge on them and not eat at all it sucks cause as a child i was so happy does anyone else have subtance abuse problems substance,3.0
13557,kissmeloveme omg cool as  i wanna go there and have pancakes or something that isnt hot chocolate lol,0.0
13558,sex toy parrrtyahahah this is interesting ,0.0
13559,brennanannie  did a nice long stretch post easy spin and knee feeling good  only bummer is missing britney tonight due to ldn transport,0.0
13560,thedracomalfoy   im sorry sweetheart but youre rightyoure here and that is somethingfor how you feel thats a big deal hugs,2.0
13561, hes too busy hobnobbing with diddypuff doddydiddly doddly squat to remember to tweet  hes slipping away  ,2.0
13562,so thirsty ,2.0
13563,i took like  advil pills and nothing happened i dont understand how i took  mg of advil and nothing happened the only thing that happened was i felt slight nausea but i also just hate taking pills and taking pills in general makes me nauseous i just dont get it i dont understand how nothing happened did i not take enough it felt like a lot because it was the gel capsule ones but i guess not now i everytime i drink water or coffee its nauseating because thats what i used to swallow the pills so thats,3.0
13564,tinchystryder lolu still gota du sumat lateri guess rele u dont get to rest then loolso wat u doin  ,0.0
13565,mileycyrus i voted for you miley and know you will win as you are extremely talented  dont be nervous as are a sure win hugz,0.0
13566,i m afraid of taking antidepressants there are some days that i feel like everything is ok and managable feeling super prosuctive and full of consiousnes like i know the way to go through difficult situations then comes some other days that my body feels so heavy feeling so alone and uncapable of keeping up even with myself my psycologists suggests antidepressants but the psyciatrist says that i can handle this then the psycologist insists i m confused i lost my ant  years old  year ago she was diagnosed with depressión at my age  and once she started medicine one thing brought the other and her life was destroyed the side effects had caused her a bunch of neurological problems she bacame so fat and mentally ill she couldnt stop the meds and the situation was irreversible she died on my birthday,3.0
13567,i am still lvl  lone wolves and won loads of games and no rank up ,2.0
13568,i would rather have cancer then depressions cancer will kill you for sure if you dont do anything against it depression just hurts hurts so bad i dont know if i can live like that anymore im living for no one and nothing nothing is fun anymore i cant even motivate myself to play video games anymore it feels like im slowly dyieing but ik im not sadly i would love to have a deadly illness so i dont have to kill myself,3.0
13569,rt greesewood brenderm  gop realdonaldtrump the sad part is molly will grow up someday and realize what a fool she wasunle,1.0
13570,i still feel like doo doo hate being sick i miss drinking ,2.0
13571,feeling lazy but in a nice way ,0.0
13572, shoot me an email  lets talk ,0.0
13573,im having a hard time im having a hard time tonight  i just dont see much point in continuing to fight this  i know it will be better tomorrow but tonight i just feel so hopeless,3.0
13574,i weighed myself bad plan i could cry ,2.0
13575,please dont write tehyung name we are all sad because of the new but trending it would do no good lets give httpstconjqwbplcqs,1.0
13576,just got up so tired just wanna go back to bed but gotta go to work ,2.0
13577,purplehayz i know gah ,0.0
13578,zilch youre welcome ,0.0
13579,cocoward are you shitting me who who who how how did you find out and no im not lying slutttt you look beautiful ,2.0
13580,bernasunoit haha thats what im doing too there are only a couple songs i like though im kinda dissappointed ,2.0
13581,my best friends bought something which i really want ,2.0
13582,i dont like being sick when the guidance counsellor is supposed to take me   other kids out of school for bowling amp pizza ,2.0
13583,time to vent ,0.0
13584,throat so sore it hurts to swallow ,2.0
13585,rqocjd i found the full if you want the link ,0.0
13586,medication makes you less worthy my boyfriend and i were having an argument and he started hassling me about my priorities he has this notion that because ive let myself get to the point where i need medication to cope with my depression and anxiety i havent got my priorities right that i allowed myself to be this way it really hurt my feelings and i know it doesnt make anyone less worthy but i cant help but let it get to me,3.0
13587, yay thanks  not that i need any help of course  haha,0.0
13588,got  get ready  work  would rather be fishing,2.0
13589, thats my favorite bluestraveler song too  love it,0.0
13590,important questions,2.0
13591,too much on my to do list today  weeks left  not just running the race but running the race to win ,0.0
13592,jaynecollinsmac did any of the girls flirt with the blue boys today and im gutted annie an nick didnt ask frankiethesats my question ,2.0
13593,veilin awh i hate you you have such awesome layout  i envy your creativeness  aww i just love it so much as much as ily hah ,2.0
13594,this is extremely sad im sending my deepest condolences to him and his family ,2.0
13595,gazsherman aww no  hugs thats it we are all moving to a desert island somewhere inhabited by beefy men wholl look after us ,2.0
13596,glitterstar i can soooo relate  ive got the first of winter bugs down hereand yeah cant call in sick with  kids ,2.0
13597,whoa oceanup you just made my day  now waiting for suyeny to text me when she can,0.0
13598,uploading pics on fb when i should be trying to go to bed check em out if ur my fb friend ,0.0
13599,anxiety leads to tears,1.0
13600,msmarytyphoid are you coming to the wedding  i want all of his friends to be there    thedeadpool right sugar,0.0
13601,my heart hurts ,2.0
13602,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13603, nice summer in the city ,0.0
13604,just logged in to blipfm for the first time in months and i can see from my feed or lack of it everyone left ,2.0
13605, my history revision for this unit has been awful plus i basically failed my mock a few weeks back im a tiny bit worried ,2.0
13606,bimbler ah bless cheers i needed a pint ,0.0
13607,scottfrye i think twitter is whatever you want it to be ,0.0
13608,hiya davepeck amp awapy  ,0.0
13609,just got back from school  shemms summer class has been officially ended  httpplurkcompwxsgy,0.0
13610,meganewall i gots mine ordered  where are you going to see them,0.0
13611,so i uhhhh just depression cut my hair,1.0
13612,i have a friend that says he wishes he never existed how can i help he recognises that he may be falling into depression or already depressed he has a medical condition that effects him when it flares up normal daily things that we do is a  hundred times harder for him he likes to stay in the dark and in his room when he is not working he has trouble sleeping often waking up multiple times a night he says that when he drives to or from work he has had multiple near miss car accidents as his mind start wondering he said he simply didnt care if anything happened to him during the accident if this happened a few years back he said his heart would have raced but this time he couldnt feel anything he has been close to car accidents multiple times in the past month but he said he doesnt feel suicidalhe recognises he needs help and wants to see a councilor how can i help him im scared and i dont want to lose him,3.0
13613,shaddybabybitch im fine thanks nice to meet you too  how old are you,0.0
13614,zsazsabinks i love that show too i think its cancelled though ,2.0
13615, i know its spanish but i figured it out  thanks anyway ,0.0
13616,life life is a huge challenge but it can be rewarding if ive learnt anything in life its that the grind dont stop you can interpret that however you want the point is life is a constant battle but the more you persist the easier it is to keep up keep going and never quit❤️,3.0
13617,goodnight goodnight goodnight cruel worldyou will not let me be with the one i love more than anything  haha im kidding im not deep,2.0
13618,the army is being so fucking disrespectful its getting me more mad then sad httpstconigsyzasht,2.0
13619,rt taliamarmusic im literally anxiety level  today 😫 so frustrating not being able to shut it off,1.0
13620,abovocipher lol not late at all  is the day which is today   party this friday though for the b day youz invited ,0.0
13621, very funny thanks im following you for more ,0.0
13622,desizntech no problem  ,0.0
13623,wow thebigklosowski must have been a fun wedding ,0.0
13624,remembered everything but hairspraythese braids r gonna be itching soonoh and this health thing is such a beautiful challenge ,0.0
13625,looks like well have to wait for a  compatible jailbreak tool ,2.0
13626,bruises ever since i was little i remember having nervous ticks whether it was pinching my eyebrows together over and over cracking my fingers until they were sore tensing my arms and legs up constantly shaking my legs or probably the most damaging one knocking my knuckles against anything and everything the last one i picked up in high school after realizing during classes i would lightly rap my knuckles on the side of my desk or the metal legs of my desk or on the plastic seat inbetween my thighs it must have been the most annoying tick too for those around me but no one ever said anything so i never stopped doing it it bled into other situations walking down the hallways id stick close to the wall so i could drag my knuckles on the concrete the roughness of the walls and the drag on my skin felt like an anchor my mind could float out into the water while i walked and my hand grating against the wall was the tether tying me to the boateventually it started leaving marks id wake up and hear the joint of my middle knuckle pop by just opening and closing my hand id hear my knuckles creak when i wrote in classes the bruises started getting darker and i stopped the conscious effort towards giving my hands a break from the incessant need to knock them around there was a period in my junior year where i ate lunch alone so instead of eating lunch alone i walked around campus avoiding administrators or sitting in the bathroom until it was time for my next class but as my mental health declined my walks would get a little longer than just lunch period one day i stayed in the bathroom for  extra periods sitting on the floor staring at the ceiling and counting how many tiles were on the wall i convinced myself the longer i stayed in this bathroom the harder it was to leave  hours in it was still just a bathroom but it was the only place in my life i could be somewhere quiet and alone without the risk of being found without the risk of being seen if i decided to fall apart so thats what i did quietly i spiraled i dug my nails into my skin i pinched my eyebrows together and pulled them up and scrunched my nose and tensed my legs and arms until they were on fire i rocked back and forth tapping my knuckles onto the cold stone floor until they felt numb and then id hit down harder to bring the pain back i took long deep breaths and choked them back out the echo i was so careful about being too loud became non existent as i pulled my arm back and punched the tile wall in front of me as hard as i could it didnt feel hard enough at all i punched it again and again and again i felt my bruised purple and blue knuckles throb wishing with everything i could just break one of those tiles and i could just feel better if i could just crack one see it broken know that i was the one who broke it my tether would reel in and id stop and feel better i couldnt break the tile i didnt break my hand i didnt even break the secrecy of my hiding spot no one heard anything no one noticed not even when my hand swelled up for the next week and my knuckles turned almost black did anyone notice,3.0
13627,is it possible to be happy but depressed this is probably a weird question so ill explain a little bit i feel fairly happy with my life obviously there are some things i would like to change but i see them as future goals that i am working towards i smile during the day and i feel like im in good spirits the future seems alright and im fairly self confident i also have almost no negative thoughts i am definitely an optimist or  years ago i went through a horrible depression where i shut all of my friends out and had a really bad outlook on life i dont feel at all like i did back then  because i taught myself how to be optimistic and be open with my feelings maybeanyways i was reading about someone who was depressed on reddit and physically i fit the bill  i sleep over  hours per day i have a hard time waking up in the mornings and i rarely have the motivation to shower or brush my teeth my living space is getting messy and im neglecting a lot of things i should be worried about my lifestyle has turned almost completely sedentary as much as it hurts to admit and i find myself staying up until dawn unable to sleep right now its  this has been going on for a few weeks nowi dont know what to make of this because most depressed people say they hate themselves or are worthless i had to deal with a depressed girlfriend who recently became an ex so i know all of the symptoms and what they look and feel like and what i am feeling mentally is definitely not depression so why can i not find the motivation to do basic taskstldr if someone monitored my behaviour for a week they would call me depressed but i am fairly happy,3.0
13628,wow   an amazing video of almost  minutes great message ,0.0
13629,idk what to do a couple months ago i was having a rough time with life and i was getting to be super sad i thought nobody could love me and i always felt alone even when i was with my friends and family then one day this girl texted me and she thought i was cute but i guess i got too attached to her and drove her away and she didnt like me anymore after a few days of talking after messing that up i was super depressed and wanted to kill myself because i felt like i had no place in this world anymore then i got a text from that girls friend and she said she wanted to talk because she felt bad that her friend did that to me ive been talking to that girl ever since about a month ago i found out that this girl really likes me its been amazing and ive actually felt loved for the first time in years but for the last couple weeks ive had this overwhelming feeling that she isnt gonna be there forever i really like her and want to keep her around but im worried that she will leave and ill fall back into the deep pit she pulled me out of she saved my life and i dont think i could let her go if she left me,3.0
13630,andyqsmith yes and before you say it its not cheating its using my initiative ive run out of tea tabs for it though ,2.0
13631,neilgarb hehe ya not gonna work so well with my rss feed ,0.0
13632,damn tripped over the inverter tore the cable out  back now powering up,2.0
13633,someone make me a stardoll account please my laptop doesnt let me ,2.0
13634,keyknow one more day ,2.0
13635,ipadio we have become  fans but how can we get a player on home page we have to keep embedding new ones ,2.0
13636,still ache from the accident on tuesdayjust waiting for the assessors to ring me to let me know if the  is a write off or not ,2.0
13637,tdmphotography cheers   will keep an eye out for your order and get some freebies in there,0.0
13638,zoloft inducing hypomania hi guys ive recently  days ago started the antidepressant zoloft and it caused a hypomanic episode that lasted about  days let me just say i have never felt so great in my life it was such a relief from depression i just cant explain itso on the last day of the hypomanic episode at night i smoked some weed and the next day it was gone i dont know if the weed caused that or not my question here is do you think it would be possible to come off the antidepressants for a week then start them again so i can experience that high again or maybe try some other adsyes i understand this isnt healthy as such but i would do just about anything to experience that again please if you have any knowledge or ideas with regard to this i would love you forever thankyou,3.0
13639,okay so this is boring me and krislyn have nothing to do ,2.0
13640,bored on the train so watching single ladies ,0.0
13641, you poor baby ,2.0
13642,cla ung sa front desk ngwewelcome ng mga guests and everything ,0.0
13643,judezxo buy r wiiheaps more fun ,0.0
13644,fml  over at work  being super careful now,2.0
13645,dianeneal i just put on my sad pants ,2.0
13646,i dont know if im overreacting but i would love it if someone could say something i might be depressed i decided against using medication because i  thought i would be able to train my self to be happier when i was young i tried to commit suicide several times but i dont honestly know if i was doing it for the attention or because i genuinely wanted to end it ive seen several doctors of various specialties psych therapist and still feel dissatisfied im in a committed relationship but when i talk to my so its like im speaking a different language any advice would be much appreciated i understand this is open ended thanks reddit,3.0
13647,someone add me on msn  i have to wait for my laundry to finish n i got nothin to do ,2.0
13648,chrisdjmoyles no you dont not really ,0.0
13649, are you serious im sorry my fault ,2.0
13650,setting up a registry at honeyfundcommaybe we can get our dream honeymoon after all ,0.0
13651,hargarmoopy dont say one wrong word about jodi lyn okeefe she is amazing beauty and sweet actress person and everything ,0.0
13652,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
13653,i need to vent and help im a student at fsu and i recently got robbed by my suitemates wife ive filed a police report but they were not much help other than getting my money that was robbed back after the whole police report was filled my suitemate and her wife decided to mess with my personal life and call my exboyfriend of  years that i was sleeping around with other guys which is a lie they then proceeded to bullyharass me on twitter i have already reached out to victims advocacy but they are no help either i struggle with depression and this just threw me over board ive switched dorm halls but i still fear that they will harm me or something bad will occur my only two real options would be to withdraw from school or to try to overcome this i need help please yall give me feedback ,3.0
13654,sleeping late everything feels like a rush just now managed to throw porridge down my front nero cleaned it up for me ,0.0
13655,sleep please roxy seems to have other ideas of what she wants to spend her day doing ,2.0
13656,right ass in gear todays agenda  run cook sunday omelette for oh grand prix sbucks shopping apprentice final  percypigs ,0.0
13657,abelovoxo very sad to hear that we have savages in our midst,2.0
13658,anyone need a campervan ticket for glasto  reasonable offers please no use to me otherwise due to being let down ,2.0
13659, month  hmmmm what to wear,0.0
13660,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
13661,happy youre home  jealous of your new kitty,0.0
13662,doing my part to stimulate the economy loves it ,0.0
13663,theecklife lol i moved the dining table in front of the sofa and set up the microwave coffee pot amp crock pot on the microwave cart ,0.0
13664,dominiccampbell have fun in the us and see you soon ,0.0
13665,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
13666,says good evening  ,0.0
13667,how the hell did siovash survive the public votei feel bad for her ,2.0
13668,kylestyxx bitchy is fun too  need an excuse once in awhile to act crazy,0.0
13669,ariellekebbel hey arielle  how are u thnx for accepting my request ,0.0
13670,trying to remember the title of a book i read years ago cant recall anything specific enough to find it using google  ,2.0
13671,anyone having twitter to sms issues since twitter came back from todays downtime i am ,2.0
13672,i think i just realized i have depression but i feel too silly to get help i dont eat more than a sandwich a day and lots of coffee anymore i only shower and brush my hair every once in a while and i barely go anywhere except worki dont eat because i just dont feel like it ill be hungry but too lazy to cook so id rather just not eat i hate my hair when its greasy but i dont care enough to put in the effort to wash it i hate wasting my days off but all i do is lay in bed on my phone or watching tv some days im really sad and crying and others i dont feel particularly bad i just feel lazyi can get free counseling from my university but i honestly feel like i dont deserve the help i failed all my classes last semester because i was so afraid of doing badly in them i just didnt do them at all i didnt go to class except for exam days and i just think that im being lazy not that i need help im convinced that blaming my failing grades and my bad hygiene on depression is a cop out because its not like im hysterically crying all dayi just need help taking myself seriously enough to go get counseling or any sort of help at all i know in the back of my mind that i have some mental issues but i refuse to attribute my actions on them and instead pin them on laziness or some sort of fault of minethanks for reading,3.0
13673,please give me a reason to live ive failed in everything in my life ive failed at friendships relationships im not a good son im not a good student i cant get a job because i suck i dont see any reason for me to exist everything and everyone hurtsits just constant pain and im not strong enough to kill myself,3.0
13674,listening to some apocalyptica before heading to work great way to start the day ,0.0
13675,mslittlekho hi linda sorry aku baru liad updates km d yup im in  cya in jakarta ya d btw r u makin a macaroni  yummy ,0.0
13676,oww i think i have the worst stomach ache right now  ouchh,2.0
13677,iamageek who does lol ive done nearly two pages  how much you done,0.0
13678,trying to fix my wii ,2.0
13679,late night still at work virus issue hogging resources ,2.0
13680,rainrox i will only spend money on unhealthy stuff for you ,0.0
13681,kmillerheidke looks like im now in the studio tonight  dave and john from the band will be there though theyll say hi,2.0
13682,when you wanna go see a movie but ur anxiety wont let you 🙃,2.0
13683,looks like my app was cracked knew this was going to happen eventually ,2.0
13684,greyhoundstooth mediocrity is a curse youre too good to fall for it ,0.0
13685,omg this uworld is so exhausting ,2.0
13686,rt prayuu cinematography was actually mindblowing here😍❤ ,1.0
13687,just cant believe it  go lakers i guess,2.0
13688,very tired d blehh its gross outside its making me sad ,2.0
13689,im at the make a bitmoji while eating a banana in silence stage of dealing with my generalized anxiety disorder,2.0
13690,the band fromerly known as peincetheyre the cutest band ever  i love aaron hes  a sweetheartt and hes got greta hair ,0.0
13691,recovring from a hernia operation i had fridayand in a lot of pain ,2.0
13692,addicted to the preview of jbs new song quotkeep it realquot quotlivin life life in the fast lanequot ,0.0
13693,watching the hillsthis is lcs last episode ,2.0
13694,ashleajonas my body is set to wake up in the mornings  tis a good thing but its bad for today blah,2.0
13695,meeni i dont know but im soo excited  ses snart eller,0.0
13696,alyxandracouch what was itt  ,0.0
13697,getting readdyyyy for college whilst soundtripping ,0.0
13698,mandyva works for mehow about the fact that its supposed to rain that day ill be sad ,2.0
13699,rt sincerelytumblr when you are trying to fight paranoia depression dissociation while attempting to balance meaningful relationships h,2.0
13700,just sharing a decent day today was like any other ive come leaps and bounds over my depression but still have good and bad days and today was probably one of my better days in years for just one reason my brother and i work at the same building and we drive an hour home weve always been close id consider us best friends were  years apart me being the younger somehow we got talking about depression and he is one of the only members of my family who knows that i have it we talked about the fucked up shit my mom said to me when i was a teenager and how it hurt me we talked about how he perceived me in my early teens to adulthood and how he was always my rockwe joked as he described me as the most bubbly friendly caring funny person at school but how at home it was like flipping a switch he told me how hed notice some days id come to his room to play a pc or  game with him id start out bubbly but give up after a while he told me how he didnt want to treat me any different whether i was having a good day or a bad day how he didnt get but understood why i cut up my arms and legs and it was so nice to hear that part of me always just thought maybe he ignored it because he didnt get it but instead he just cared and loved me enough to keep treating me like his sister not some crazy with mental health issues like everyone else did especially my mother while others left me made fun of me or told me to just try being happy my brother just treated me like his sister nothing more mother less so i had an ordinary day and than tonight on the way home from work i got reminded of how much my brother is my rock and even if he was just playing golden eye and i just sat there and watched while bawling my eyes out it felt better and still does feel good to know hes there i dont think i ever would have made it this far without him,3.0
13701,when depression becomes a part of your identity i have suffered from depression for more than  years now i am  lately i have come to the realization that there is a huge part of me that doesnt want to get better i just want to stay here  its comfortable and it is what i have always known it has just become a part of who i am trust me i would love to have a normal life and not be depressed but its like addiction where you know its bad for you but you still do it and dont change a thing i have been doing all the right things  been in therapy for more than  years been on constant medication for so long done partial hospitalization programs but i have noticed that i never give my  forget  i dont even give  and i think i have finally come to realize that there is this huge part of me that doesnt want to get well it is a part of my identity now how do i get rid of it i know i can if i put in the effort but then why dont i put in the effort why i just keep living like thisdoes anyone feels the same,3.0
13702,bzaclassic we could spend the night watch the earth come upi presume you are singing incubusif not ignore please ,0.0
13703,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
13704,allanjyu you really like haruhi huh im sorry i thought you would say that i just cant wait any longer there are no updates ,2.0
13705,starting wellbutrin dosage seems low hello all i finally got fed up with trying to self manage my depression things were turning south and i was starting to drink too much way too much i figured dryuary was the perfect time to give a med a try without having to explain to people why im suddenly not drinking and socializing like normal anyway  i straight up asked to start with wellbutrin i was given bupropion hcl  mg she told me to take one a day for a week then go to two for one month i understand starting slow and moving up but from what i can read this seems abnormally slow i already have to wait  weeks to see if it will help i really dont want to drag it out any longer than necessary ive been at the  mg dose  pills in the am for  days now and have had zero recognizable side effects should i call its an np since my doctor just left and shes hard to reach and ask about going higher with my dose earlier or is this dosage more common than i think,3.0
13706,i wanna receive reply from wouter hamel but i cant english very well  i envy them so i cant sleep right now  부럽다 답장받�� 사람들�� ,2.0
13707,what do you tell them you did with your time at a job interview i have my first actual real ie grown up full time job interview the day after tomorrow in preperation ive been thinking about possible question they might ask and answers to give on of the things that used to come up in interviews is why i have so many time gaps in my cvi was never honest about my depression so i used to make up some tale about taking care of my family blahblah but in this case i dont want to outright lie as they will call my references who know a halftruth what do you guys tell them when they ask you at a job interview,3.0
13708,rt amykmcl dark anthropology focuses on the harsh dimensions of social life power domination inequality and oppression as well as,2.0
13709,charlstonheston mother  smiles so very happily   ,0.0
13710,gonna go grab some breafast somthing tha doesnt involve chewin casue my teeth are starting to hurt today  ,2.0
13711,there is no freedom to be happy anymore  finishing  my  year in college have the choice to go for it  more years and  get a masters degree or simply finish my bachelors degreeim currently an intern and so this finally made me understand what its  like to wake up every morning to go to work it sucks so freaking much  whether im loving it or hating it is besides the point since my one true issue with all of this is that in the future ill go to work everyday working for someone else goals wasting my time as a young  person and just getting sucked into this mental spiral i  work i get paid for my work i buy stuff with that money to make me  temporarily happy i realize i dont have time to do anything else besides work but i need the money to buy stuff that make me happy for a while so i just repeat the steps aboveif i decide i wanna work on my own maybe ill make it maybe i wont who knows for a dozen things that dont really matter now lets pretend it doesnt work outto be honest i just wanna lead a life that makes me happy i know that this lousy rout does not make me happy i know what makes me happy i know this is hard to believe but moving to an island on the pacific seems like an option for me smartphones people complaining about  everything and feeling a sheep in my everyday life just like everyone  else just isnt cutting it for me anymoreive had enough peoples drama about everything ive had enough of other people telling me how i should be living my life ive had enough of  being someone who thinks and feels differently than everybody else ive had enough of putting on a mask everyday there is no freedom to be happy anymore,3.0
13712,serpaqua omg randyyy im following you ,0.0
13713,since late march i set a goal to lose the extra weight and tone back up no diets no pills just running alot so far ive lost  pnds ,0.0
13714, no not getting drunk  have stupid work tomorrow its been a while since you have drunkenly updated us,2.0
13715,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,1.0
13716,sounds mean but im really glad leno is no longer on the tonight show conan is so much funnier than  jay he is odd amp has fluffy hair ,0.0
13717,urbansmiler kfc is so addictive fighting the urge  jump in my car my sisters tweet is egging me on ,2.0
13718,chán ốm với các anh it hơi tí lại update version mới ,2.0
13719,missjsdiva i want to vacay ,2.0
13720,wondering what score i got in the upcat and acet mock exams ,0.0
13721,attack attack made my ears bleed and non in that good happy metal way  httpbitlyzbxio,2.0
13722,goin ta bed dont care how early its is ,2.0
13723,was looking forward to watching the space shuttle landingbut its a no go today because of the weather ,2.0
13724,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
13725,ladyp hehei wont i promise ,0.0
13726,had a rough mental day probably gonna be a rough week but i can always count on palayeroyale music to make me fe httpstcodlyyujbvwe,2.0
13727,first day of class ,2.0
13728,still cant get danger out of my mind ,2.0
13729,glitterandtwang okay well call it quotpeople who shouldve started a real life club and not an internet clubquot ,0.0
13730,i cant imagine myself happy anymore i cant do anything during the last week every day at any moment i started crying and depressed i dont know what to do anymore my only idea is to kill myself to stop the pain,3.0
13731,had a great  overnights at work  felt well rested and sharp minded each day  breakfast  sonic again this am  yum  have a good day ,0.0
13732,im a monster i finally see it for so long ive been blind i hurt everyone that i love i push away everyone i care about all they wanted to do was help but i abused them i hurt them i told them they mean nothing i watched them cry i felt nothing but anger im broken and they cannot fix me the only solution is to get away from them for their sake i need to leave and let them heal they will understand,3.0
13733,night drives does anyone ever just drive around for hours at a time with nowhere to go nowhere to be and feel like a fucking clown even getting ready knowing nothing is waiting for you oh the best part is when youre an hour into driving and are finally like what the fuck am i doing right now  hahahah couldnt be me ,3.0
13734,do you know whats sad i forget how to play the song i wrote on my guitar how sad is that now i have to learn my song all over again ,2.0
13735,coachchris chris thanks  have a glass of wine on me whilst i prick out the tomatoes ,0.0
13736,bored people watchin daisy of love hit meh up ppl aim  xoluciousbabezxo  ,0.0
13737,carolejesse its all good  was away at a friends wedding ,0.0
13738,im getting ever closer to the day when the scales tip between fear of death and fear of living and theres simply no way out im trapped with my own broken brain  the few friends and family i have which are very few indeed feel less like friends and more like people who just havent gotten around to backstabbing me or letting me down yeti sincerely dont know how im going to make it through another month let alone a year what little hope i may have had left i think i lost it last night  guess i just needed to say it somewhere and heres the only place left,3.0
13739,thegreatchan oh trust me chandru the kilos are piling everywhereeeee 😩 ps stress eating does not help,0.0
13740,does anyone find its so difficult to get out of bed in the morning right now my main issue is the lack of motivation to actually leave my bed  this means that often i stay in bed for  hours after i wake up doing nothing at all wasting so much of the day which often makes me feel more depresseddoes anyone have any tactics to prevent this,3.0
13741,tiffanyleigh sucks i cant download kent from itunes anymore  theyre not on there i wanted to get the cd you suggested  ,2.0
13742,why wont ddlovato talk to me ,2.0
13743,hoardingcleaning with adhd amp depression recently tried to put myself on a schedule coordinated w my boss where i have off and clean every sunday so my room stays clean but im still having trouble its definitely helped having the same day every week to clean but its still so hard to get myaelf to do iti walk in to my room and i see the mess and it just makes me so depressed i dont even want to clean it and i end up just going and laying face flat on my bed and falling asleep because i cant muster cleaning my room and on top of that with adhd even if i make myself try i either just distract myself  times or get so bored cleaning that i get depressed as fucki struggle with this more than anything else in my life please any advice,3.0
13744,i am hungrywaiting for seok to finish her phone call which has been going on for about  now ,2.0
13745,moneceann omg you lost your gtec  yun yung nakakalungkot hahaha what time is your first class tomorrow,2.0
13746,goodnight      i love sleeping cuz of the amazing dreams ,0.0
13747,zackrabbit i think we lost doc and its my bed time so i gots ta say gnight now ,2.0
13748,ill have a little cry about it later its to nice of a day ,0.0
13749,nothing holds my interest and im too unmotivated nothing has been capturing my interest anymore things that i think were interesting like music games youtube videos even going out etc has been boring or irritating me i started a new medication that helps with add stratteraatomoxetine but im not sure if this is a bad set of days or if this is depression or add or a side effect of the medication im too bored to function and have no  motivation to power through ittldr i need help with motivation and things that hold my interest any suggestions or even med suggestions to bring up to my dr,3.0
13750,fiercecherry good morning bout to knock the f out at my desk lmao dang just broke my nail ,2.0
13751,rt mtnmoxiegirl gratitude eliminates fear worry grief and depression and brings happiness clarity  compassion and peace of mind,1.0
13752,bookloveher im trying i guess im being dramatic ,2.0
13753,not sure if my phone will make it dont text me ,2.0
13754,rt rhodevtony tony when his anxiety makes an appearance next to his depression ,2.0
13755, ill be there  hopefully they wont practically start a riot and actually let us in to the store,0.0
13756,rt  its sad how moms cant post pictures of their babies on here anymore this is why im always so hesitant to post pictures of,2.0
13757,i am at war with myself right now i have two sides that are warring with each other one is bright and happy my young self very outgoing and healthy and athletic that everyone loved to be around the other side wants to dive off the deep end cut myself isolate myself from any relationships live on my own and fully devote myself to my music dream i live abroad  m with my family but i hate it here i have a girlfriend here though which creates more conflict within myself taking ssris rn prozac along with xanax for my anxiety but i hate them so much i want to be off them i just feel so lost like im never going to escape this im doing everything right with a support group a therapist a psychiatrist that i see regularly and parents that love me and support me i cant help but feel like im irreparably broken,3.0
13758, babeessss whats up  xx,2.0
13759,theellenshow   omg i live in chicago i wish i was there ,2.0
13760,gulpanag what i meant was hi how r u  ,0.0
13761,leonafeens ah thats awful i hope theyre ok hope you and joe are ok too you might need to take a wee course yourself just to be safe ,2.0
13762,thisisryanross i think its injured ,2.0
13763,seesmic desktop keeps on acting weird on my laptop good thing twhirl is still superior ,0.0
13764,kirstiealley i would love to be your nonsexual valentine  lol i love how marlee calls you her fairy godmother will you be mine ,0.0
13765,breaking news e unu pe casa presei care vrea sa se arunce   si nu sunt eu ,0.0
13766,joeey lolll go ferr it  did u already,2.0
13767,my first twitter hi everyone ,0.0
13768,having a horrible headache day and nose bleedingawful feeling ,2.0
13769,im soaking wet stupid rain ,2.0
13770, dork ,0.0
13771,no seriously what kind of sick game of quotmusical citiesquot is this a quothit or missquot kind of deal going on and i dont like it ,2.0
13772,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13773,i think my girlfriend has depression hello everyone anonymous account here and im looking for some advice regarding my girlfriend weve been dating for roughly  months now and things have been amazing weve known each other for the better part of a decade and work in the same field law enforcement since weve started dating ive noticed that roughly every month or so shell get into a rut and not want to do anything shell sleep quite a bit not want to go out and do things push me away become short with me etc at first she thought we werent compatible and she broke up with mebut then continued to talk to me every day and eventually we got back together this happened twice finally we sat down and laid some boundaries down when she pulls away and wants time to herself i get worried im not being there for her and i push harder which causes her to withdraw even more when i give her the space she asks for she feels much better things have been amazing yet again for the last month but this last week shes withdrawn again and she told me this morning that shes in one of her lulls again she loves me more than anything but its not constant for her  she called in sick to work yesterday and slept at least  hours i originally blamed myself for this and took it as her losing feelings but im beginning to believe she suffers from depression she is a recovering alcoholic and goes to meetings  times a week sober for  years our most recent breakup ended when i showed up at her house and she started sobbing out of nowhere while i held her a mutual friend told me that she said part of me felt that i was right where i was supposed to be with who im supposed to be with the other part of me felt so horrible for what i put this guy through recently shes admitted she puts up a wall and doesnt understand why does this sound like depression my homework says yes but im also selfishly hopeful that its depression and not a case of her not being in love with me what do i do to support her let her have her space confront her on it i get that i cant fix her but i also want her to help herself and see that there is a problem  ,3.0
13774,i hate my pc now it is tooooo slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ,2.0
13775,check home made ice creamready to churncheck happy birthday to old man ron check ,0.0
13776,im giving myself to the end of the year to get better i dont really know how to word this and i dont necessarily have the eloquence some other people do im questioning putting this on my main but i guess it doesnt matter itll get lost in reddit really it doesnt even matter if another person reads it its my deadline to meon january  if i dont accomplish the goals i have set for myself this year if i dont prove to myself that i can dredge up the motivation to just do something im driving to my favorite little stretch of the beach that ive spent hours at dreaming of better things and putting a bullet in my head,3.0
13777, i know maan  ahahaa lets get them to record it amp stick it on myspace  i have so many bruises from that show man ,2.0
13778,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
13779,im down with pollen alergy today ,2.0
13780,doing nothing today ,2.0
13781, ranks up there with mental health day ,1.0
13782,work todayugh ,2.0
13783, you have more followers than i do ,2.0
13784,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
13785,jordanknight do you still collect hotel keys we just had old school nk nightso i have a few throwback questions from stuff i forgot ,0.0
13786,the weathers so weird i wanna control it ,0.0
13787,rt ledyardnfldraft i can barely watch anymoreits so sad ,2.0
13788,thenonconsumer oh gorgeous  lucky you we love oregano especially when free can you plant some it roots easily ,0.0
13789,ramtops yep  they were succesful last year with three healthy hatchlings if thats the right term,2.0
13790,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13791, i was a little  to see no pop on the rehearsal list,2.0
13792,the person i wronged forgave me i feel like a weights been lifted off my shoulders i had a huge falling out with my best friends because i screwed up and made a huge mistake its been all i could think about for the last year and it sent me into a depression it would keep me up at night because i would just keep thinking back on what i couldve changed and everything would just keep playing over again in my mind today he reached out to me and we talked for a while and before we finished talking i asked him if hed forgive me he did and he gave me really encouraging words and advice i feel a little bit lighter and i think ill sleep well tonight,3.0
13793,today is friday d finaly good morning people god bless and have a good day ,0.0
13794,dankoek good luck for tomorrow dan who wants to live forever would be my choice to showcase that incredible voice   ,0.0
13795,omg crying this fic is soooooooooo sad ,2.0
13796,sending out virtual hugs to everyone and a little message to spread positivityhug i know were all sad but let ,1.0
13797,facebook is so annoying ,2.0
13798,positive vibes needed background i am a jobseeker continually being turned down for bad or crappy reasons  just found out today from a recruiter that another less qualified candidate got the role  the interview went well and i made my case for taking the job asked if they had any concerns about my candidacy or fit for the role and was told no  talk me off the ledge if you can  thanks for listening and considering my story,3.0
13799,i really need to just tell someone about this i am starting to hate myself again because of someone i spent many years combating anorexia depression and panic attacks mean comments by other people made me question my selfworth and i ended up hating and blaming myself for many things hearing such comments by my own mother made it worse the worst part came when i ignored a friend being bullied because i was afraid of getting bullied too and that friend committed suicide those were horrible years that i wish to never repeat againi spent so many years working on myself and trying to make me feel better about myself i worked hard and finally managed to get my dream job i became healthier and started being able to befriend people again however recently there has been someone at work a peer that always has something negative to say about me every time she says something i end up feeling down afterwards today i actually counted how many times she said something bad about me not just to myself but also to other people in those few interactions we had she said  bad things about me she keeps saying that she knows a lot about me but they are always wrong it is driving me crazy recently i have started having negative thoughts about myself again and it was quite bad today i have had enough of thissorry for venting i feel slightly better after thinking through my feelings like this its been a long time since i last cried about something like this,3.0
13800,exhausting day at work jus got off now have to be there at  in the morning  wanna trade ,2.0
13801,rt nirlognet 「鬱の診断書」は賢く使わないと身を亡ぼすから超危険だよって話 ,2.0
13802,stalkbrandon via video chat as usual  but im trying to think of an activity now lol like were in day care or something,2.0
13803,feels so sleepy after woke up at  this morning n after tht fb al the way  ,2.0
13804,shiropane otabekvoice i have no idea why i couldnt find it i searched for otabek anxiety and it didnt show 😤😤😤,1.0
13805,barcoding hi angela thanks for the follow hope you can talk rfid with me sometime ,0.0
13806,been up ages bored out ma box missing sexiest loads ,2.0
13807,all i want to do is go to sleep   hooray for fridays,2.0
13808,skelliot joelbirch haha fine actually i have a good idea for an article i could send them ,0.0
13809,oh shite cityofleeds has swine flu   ,2.0
13810, poor shawn ,2.0
13811, aww congrats for becoming an aunt ,0.0
13812,i just need support i think i might have lost another friend to suicide but i cant verify as they were an online friend ive been struggling too and really need a pick me up im falling in a spiralim in love with a girl who said she really liked me we dated for a week or two but now shes questioning her sexuality and were just friends again even though one of us desperately wants to be more like im so so in love with this girl that when i think about her and how i cant be with her i dont want to eat i loose my appetite for a whole day sometimes i love her and i dont know what to do as i really want to support her and if she likes guys i want to be her first pick i love her i cant get over her or stop thinking about her all because theres a stupid slim possibility i can still have her shes questioning her sexuality which is cool and all but it means i cant have herwere still friends which is great but also mind numbing hard i try to be strong around her and show her that i can be what she needs if she likes guys i just want to be able to love her instead of having to hide it shes perfect i love everything about her i cant do this anymore ive felt so depressed recently that my grades have plummeted its been like this before but this time ive started self harming too on my thighs so nobody can see im in therapy and on meds they help a lot but sometimes its just too much im so stressed shes not the main source of the problem my brain isbut having her love me sure would make things easieri was happy with her happier then i had been in monthsi havent been happy in weeks and have self harmed im preoccupying myself with hobbies and things to keep me busy but i really need help right now im already on meds and in counseling but i just need more support rn,3.0
13813,hitech httpzasadacom               ,0.0
13814,nixsight  yes indeed makes it a bitch to try and design universally ,2.0
13815,im mad at kate from jonampkate plus  totally put the show before her kids  thats dumb,2.0
13816,is exhausted but cant fall asleep ,2.0
13817,drewgarceau their immense intellect has left them w no option but being a gas station clerk hat tip to successful friend who was one ,0.0
13818,silixell hello how is one of my fav people what is happening in your world i wonder it is great to see youx ,0.0
13819,my narcissistic mother is causing my  depression im a  year old university studentsince childhood only child my mom always made me stay home and watch tv no friends allowed because they where all badmy mom has no friends my dad is poor and never gave her a good lifemy mom is a narcicist leading me to paranoia and depression shes always so mean always makes me stay home and studyim barely passing university she tells be im stupidim not even allowed to do anythingshe makes me give her moneyi want to transfer to another university and take a semester off or do university onlineive been depressed since i was  my mother is always meanonly cooking and reading makes me happy,3.0
13820, my washing machine door is not opening and brokenstuck if anybody knows secret art of opening the doorwithout breaking it,2.0
13821,andyclemmensen  o yeah number  on trending topics yeww  andyclemmensen,0.0
13822,is listening to nas  america now i remember why i liked him so much ,0.0
13823,hates exam worries ,2.0
13824,someone send me something funny to get me through this last half hour plz ,0.0
13825,tnhuckaby rest well ,0.0
13826,i still dont realy get this twitter  wat am i supposed to do lol,2.0
13827,going downtown for a lovely evening  then tonyssss,0.0
13828,im following the jonas brothers but i can never see their tweets ,2.0
13829,burcoldandelion depression,2.0
13830,laurenconrad  thank you for the glare down at kristin cavallari at heidis wedding ,0.0
13831,getting ready for summer school ,2.0
13832,hes gone ,2.0
13833,jordanknight aah i just realisedi bet youre busy picking your winner arent you i wont hold my breath ,2.0
13834, haha i certainly not laughin and im sooo careful in the sun  boo haha,2.0
13835,needs a break from maths or she will go mad ,2.0
13836,had a good time with my boos last night  happy birthday janee im next lol,0.0
13837,looooong day yesterday getting to hotel for balticon setup now doing some planning for todays chaos ,0.0
13838,emmadw bought that cat scarer by the way difficult to tell if it works when you cant hear the noise ,0.0
13839,caseynjennifer porn bloopers are the best i hope you filmed it ,0.0
13840,thereasonwhy well i have a wedding to go to today so i have no choice but to go out in this weather its suppose to rain monday ,2.0
13841,wondering how many here are experiencing quottwitter overflowquot problems too many twits to keep track of including this one ,0.0
13842,i dont even know who i am anymore i really hate myself i used to be the most laid back person and always use to smile now its the fucking opposite everyone thinks im okay but im not i feel like social me and real me are completely separate at this point im so stressed out and i want it to end already will i commit suicide no id never put my family through that but damn it feels like we only go backwards just this morning i was cuddling with my girlfriend watching movies and it was great and the second she left reality set in ive tried hobbys i write in my free time do community service and learned the bass guitar and the guitar fuck ive even tried meditation these all help but it doesnt make lifes stress end i feel as is i want to retire and i havent even graduated yet i firmly believe in the saying work gets rid of stress but i cant stand it if i dont do good in school i cant go to a good college if i dont get into a good college ill not get the job i want and if i dont get the job i want ill want to die how could my life turn this miserable this quick the worst point is i know my life isnt even that screwed up yet i feel like absolute trash i really want to be the old me i miss him so much,3.0
13843,alternatives to antidepressants honestly im sick and tired of these dumb pills therapy is helping but slowly the pills ive taken havent done anything ive taken zoloft  for like two weeks then it increased to zoloft  mg for another week and finally zoloft  mg for another week after that failure i tried prozac first it was  with  zoloft and then  zoloft with  of prozac now im currently taking only  of prozac ive been taking these dreaded capsules and im not interested in them anymore anyone got any alternatives im already exercising eating healthy and i have hobbies so dont say anything akin to what i mentioned,3.0
13844,im tired irritable and have a headache ,2.0
13845,broke phone but had bril night last night feel the effects now tho  ,2.0
13846,looking to be a five cup of coffee day ,2.0
13847,unstable mood swing is it weird that i always have this abrupt mood swings like at one moment i was hanging out with my friends and the next moment i felt this overwhelming sadness out of nowhere it just comes unexpectedly and it really draining me out ,3.0
13848,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
13849,good day talked to kevin visited muffin chilled with will  relaxing not sure about later maybe cleaning maybe another call ,0.0
13850,do i even want to feel better ive been a nerdy slacker my entire life that means before any depressive episodes and even if i feel better ill just be back here again because i will get stuck in life with no home no girlfriend and a ton of debt,3.0
13851,ive decided ive decided im ending it all on september  the beginning of suicide prevention week this year because its ironic and im gonna end my life anyway so why not go out like the fucking joke i am,3.0
13852,annadiaz that really sucks  have you tried talking to himherthem about it,2.0
13853,modus just rang possible interview for wednesday but had to decine clactonbased vlow money would take hour on train etc ,2.0
13854,heidicedric hudaaaa can i borrow your kalkalator for tomorrow ,0.0
13855,sleemol whereabouts are you its pretty touch and go around toowong it really depends on your area hope youre not on a contract ,2.0
13856,rt livpsy physical touch makes you healthier studies show that massages hugs and handholding reduces stress and boosts the immune sys,1.0
13857,tommcfly say hi to me please ,2.0
13858,txjess happy friday glad youre feeling better ,0.0
13859,rt veganelff rt if youre a vegan and your  omega  and vitamin d levels are perfectly fine ,0.0
13860,msleasalonga and some people will judge you  not knowing the reason behind gaining weight it can be depression or httpstcovkptepsspg,0.0
13861,why is south texas so freakin hot im so sunburned i cant move ,2.0
13862,cynciity man im an amateur  imma b a lonely bitch lol,2.0
13863,ummmi seem to dislike ms dd blah blah blah does she love tom ,2.0
13864,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
13865,watchin  live chat he just shouted out  me ,0.0
13866,liammurray thanx just joined ,0.0
13867,taking a break from revision to have some dinner i guess im cooking some pasta salad ,0.0
13868,nataliesim no he didnt take pics with anyone  he is soo nice though,2.0
13869,piperoflove heh  then my job here is done ,0.0
13870,laying in bed because im sick while taylor and stefani are laying out in central park ,2.0
13871,durr someone is being a bitchass ,0.0
13872, shaaqt anaggh netra  asfaq kapilb aalaap not possible for me to be dere in near days  m at delhi yaaar  ,2.0
13873, girlfriend cheated on  with multiple people at school feels like a nuke went off inside me ive been a wreck since  ack story i am  and live and work on long island my now exgf is  year old junior who goes to school in suny albany my now ex gf and i have known each other for many years our families are very close with each other she and i have been hooking up on and off for the past few years and have always liked each other we didnt date at first because she was still in high school and i was in college plus the age difference i never loved anyone like this girl and couldnt believe i could like someone so much and be under their spell our official relationship began over the summer near the end of july we rarely fought and had great sex and our families were very happy we were finally together weve talked for many years about getting married and having kidshowever there were some red flags that i ignored early on because i was in such love with her she constantly talked about her exboyfriendsmatt v and garry matt p and noah she went to school with and it kinda annoyed me if even looked at another girls snap or instagram story who was just a friend from high school she would flip out and me she was made me not use social media around her such as instagramunless i posted photos with her and delete all girls even friends off my snapchat and phone contacts she also made me also stop hanging out and talking with one of my best friends who was a girl who was basically my sister i agreed to all this because i loved her and was under her spell while i would post her on my social media such as facebook and instagram she did not put up a single post of me not to brag but she would post up pictures with my fathers nice cars and summer home but none with me ever i asked her why she didnt post me on social media shes like im gonna wait to the school semiformal to post you and no one has to know my business she also is going through lots of difficulty with her family her father used to be a major lawyer but now is a struggling drug addict in and out of jail her mother is struggling to make ends meat to send her and her sister to school and pay her mortgage i know this a bad situation but she would use it against me to get her way always with things and turn a blind eye to her childish behaviorwhen she left for school in late august i felt everything was fine with our relationship we shared each other locations so i know where she was she is president of her sorority and would go to lots of fraternity parties and mixers on weekends most nights her location showed she made it back home other nights she would sleep downtown were the parties where i bought up my concern to her once she said she slept at her roommates cousins johnnys house i joked saying did you sleep on the couch and she got mad at me saying she needed space for the rest of the day i didnt ask her again when she slept downtown because i didnt wanna anger her more another night she posted a snapchat story of her kissing a guy on the cheek this upset me i told her to take it down she told me she wanted space again and called me controlling one night i was facetiming her late at night and one of her exboyfriends matt v hits her up to have sex and come over i tell her to tell him she is dating me and to tell him to get lost shes like i dont wanna be that girl who tells everyone i have a boyfriend and she told me not to worry shes done with him later one that night i check her location because i had my suspicions and she was not at her apartment i checked she was at a upper classman and grad student housing complex i then call her and she didnt answer and she freaked out on me she made up the excuse she was visiting her little sister who was having an anxiety attack and didnt wanna be at school  but i also had her sisters location on snap maps and she was at her freshman dorm  miles away when i calculated the distance on google maps my girlfriend told me her ex boyfriend matt v lived at another student housing complex on the other side of campus and i was acting crazy and didnt trust her she got her sister to lie and tell me my girlfriend was visiting her at the dorm when she was really with matt v she wanted space from me for the next  days and didnt start talking to me again until i got her sister from the train on long island and took her homemy girlfriend came home towards the end of september for her sisters boyfriends father party and it was clear going to back to school changed her alot she felt like she was better and cooler than me in some way and was acting suspicious at the party she went upstairs at one point and saw her taking selfies in the mirror i grab her phone and saw that on her snapchat she was frequently sending snaps to this guy george who i knew she had a thing with she made up the excuse that he was gay and she didnt speak to me for the rest of the party we had sex later on that night and she assured to me we were exclusive and i had nothing to worry aboutaround mid october i havent seen her in over almost month and asked if i could visit her she said no she didnt want me invading her life up there also she gave some bs excuse that i probably didnt want her to visit me when i was in undergrad she began throw a huge temper tantrum like a little child saying that i was replaceable and she would break up with me if i surprised her at albany i shouldve broke up with her then but didnt because i loved her for so long and was going to see her on thanksgiving and she said she was going to let me come up to formal at the end of the semester ends up going to formal in dec with another guy in the dress i bought her lol at the beginning of november her sister who goes to the same school spoke to me about not liking school at albany and she didnt wanna go to date night later i asked if her sister was going and she said no my gfher sister wasnt gonna be there i was confused because my girlfriend in the weeks leading up to the formaldate night told me it was gonna be cancelledlater on that i got a snapchat from my gf in a dress and make up which she probably didnt mean to send me i asked her why she was all dressed up and she said to me dont worry about it i asked her if she was going to date night and she said it was a first date themed party i then text her later on that night saying tell me the truth you are at date night with someone and she didnt respond her sister even told me she saw her there at the date night party them next day she texts me saying he appreciate everything i do for her but wanted to take things slow with me her excuse was she need to focus on school work i asked if we were still exclusive but she said i shouldnt worry she gave some bs excuse that she wants to get back with me and there is no time frame when we get back togetheri lost my mind because i felt like i did and sacrificed so much for her the next steps i took were excessive but led me to find she was cheating on me i dmed her ex boyfriend garry from school on instagram on a whim i did this because i had my suspicions he told she didnt say ever she was dating me and they had sex a few times together during the semester aslo during the summer she went over his house every thursday while she was suppose to be at work i didnt know because i worked in the city in the summer during the week while she was at his house he asked her about me and said i was just her family friend that had i crush on her but she had no feelings at all for me he said when he dated her she cheated on him a bunch he was able to prove it with a screenshot recording of her texting him to come over on our anniversary to come over at  and have sex he said he also saw her with other guys walking home some nights he also said they she has multiple guys in every frat there that she fucks aslo that her other ex boyfriend matt v lived at the housing complex i saw her on her location that night not the other one she told me and he saw her car parked there multiple times i also cant believe her little sister was in on the lies too but i found out she was also cheated on her boyfriend from back home too aslo when my girlfriend dated garry she cheated on him with the guy george she told me was gay when i finally confronted her about it and showed her the texts she sent garry with the dates and times showing her number she went crazy and denied everything saying now there was  chance of us getting back together in the future and how dare i reach out to garry i also reached out to other people at her school and they all told me she said i wasnt her boyfriend when they asked just a family friend from home and they saw her hooking up with multiple peoplewhen her mom called me i told her everything about her daughter cheating on me she didnt believe it she wanted us to meet over the winter break and talk things out and be friends for now because our families are very close im just very hurt because i never loved anyone like her for so long i still have some feelings for her because i loved her for many years also im not gonna lie she is very physically attractive and the sex was amazingusually it is with the crazy ones lol i dont think ill ever get and one better than her but all my friends and close family say she is no good and i must cut her out of my life for good part of me wants me to go to her house and start yelling like crazy at her calling her derogatory names asky why she cheated im just so upset because i loved her for years and how could she do this to me i just want answer why she cheated on metldr girlfriend cheated on me while at school and broke up with me i feel so hurt and confused about what happened i know her and i are done forever even as just family friends but i dont know why but i am still obsessed with her and cant move on i just wanna yell and scream at her feel like i didnt get any closure,3.0
13874,i had a great great night and so did not want it to end ,2.0
13875,busy day at worktodayyuck   sonoma coming up this weekend  road coursemy favorite,2.0
13876,dwighthoward u r one sexy madacant resist ,0.0
13877, have fun  x,0.0
13878,curtis i miss you so much i miss our long talks we always had ,2.0
13879,stupid model wont freaking paint the stuff keeps falling offfffff     ,2.0
13880,im depressed af i did everything i was supposed to do i did well in school got a job a bf friends i engage in activities im supposed to enjoy i have a therapist i take my meds what more can i do to not feel this way,3.0
13881, awesome it looks like im going to be a tourist for a few hours before the summit starts ,0.0
13882,getting ready to head to sf  shooting with jenna hunt today woohoo ,0.0
13883,etwonjenn im from ajax ontario  stereos is just amazing i dno know y tho lmao,2.0
13884,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
13885,everyone should check out myspacecomdominictrujillomusic       ,0.0
13886,mileycyrus you shall love savannah its truly fabulous i know i live there ,0.0
13887,orbitaldiamonds awww bb you sound lonely  i want to drive up therefly and snuggle you too,2.0
13888,my dads disciplinarian bullshit and and my moms willingness to up and leave the family has forced me to feel a profound sadness all the time i dont know how to be happy im  now my mom left when i was  and have no idea where she is i didnt even know what happened until i was  my dad was an only parent who only knew discipline the way he experienced it which involved a lot of psychological emotional and physical abuseive been on and out of therapy for nearly  years on and off antidepressants for half that timenow im dealing with adult problems i hate my boss working for this person is so draining people keep telling me the end is near my contract ends in may but thats not the point ive had multiple crises since starting this job about  or  months ago in october i ended up in a mental hospital and have been trying to take it easy since i like to overwork but ive never burned out this fast beforeanyway while i can manage my professional life just fine my personal life has been hard which is whats causing the issues i dont have a consistent friend group and basically forgot how to make friends and conversation i have no idea how to date people have told me since over  years ago that ill find someone i havent managed to take the right chances at the right times i guess i just want to vent im so angry at everything im so frustrated that i can spend the better part of  years in therapy and still end up at the start,3.0
13889,have a headache from  many camera flashes for my ms pics ,2.0
13890, are you following sockington  he is a twitter celebrity and quite amusing ,0.0
13891,in chorus with roryfig ,0.0
13892,i am nothing gonna do hw i am gonna wacht tv ,0.0
13893,andreannaa it be so funny because you attempt to diy then you look at me all sad lmao and say please whole time i ,0.0
13894,im sick of everyone leaving it seems like whenever i get emotionally attached to a person they end up leaving ive had very close friends just slowly stop talking to me until we just lose all contact its almost paralyzing just the feeling of being afraid that once i meet someone ill just be left again so i just sit at home by myself making my life that much more lonely and sad sometimes i just wonder what is it about me that drives people away why cant i keep anyone close to me i dont know why im even writing this really guess i just felt this was the only place i could actually speak my feelings without judgement,3.0
13895,my hell so im a  year old kid living in the middle of nowhere and my life really sucks heres whyi moved to a new town like  years ago and me being antisocial and it being really hard for me to start a conversation i dont have many friends it also doesnt help that im probably autistic and after like  year there i realized that in almost never happy even at home its hell my dad yells at me if i do  thing wrong same with mom and all of this made me really suicidal i have not a lot holding me back because i think my parent would just forget me the only person i think that would miss me would be my older brother who is one of the only person of my family i love with my grand parents   i started to hate doing some of the thing i used to love like swimming but still love stuff like reading and looking at memes because if i do nothing i will have suicidal thought im thinking of killing myself when i have the time and i never smiling im also have a crush on a girl but shes  years younger that me and each tine i see her i think that in not good enough what should i do sorry for my bad english my main language is french so im not very good  ,3.0
13896,its just a neverending loop for the past few months ive been so hopeful so aliveand then it just goes awaybut im just trying to hold myself together right nowi cant do it much longer i cant believe i want to die again after so long of feeling alive again im deadi just want to be invisible right now,3.0
13897,annamarie i wish i washed mine  i slept in unfortunately and yeah cool see you through there,2.0
13898,at alamo draft house with wife ,0.0
13899,elizabethlane  why ,0.0
13900,stacydraper a bit of sad news for u  jessica rabbit is not in quotupquot  mulan is my kinda girl,2.0
13901,things im good at cats bouncing dealing with the complex feelings of guilt depression and anxiety comedic timing,1.0
13902,need help finding a job for my depressed butt i currently work in a very fastpaced demanding restaurant with a toxic work environment it pays amazing at first that was worth the occasional mental breakdown but i cant take it anymore i love being able to talk to people because it helps me emotionally but keeping a super positive energy when talking to literally hundreds of customers a day is nearly impossible i cant stand clocking into work and knowing i have  things i need to do immediately as fast as humanly possible and having to keep that pace up for  hours or until my boss decides its time for my shift to end if im not going as fast as they want me to i wont hear the end of it i can barely get out of bed in the morning let alone doing the same thing over and over and over again at lightning speed ive seen posts about recommended jobs for people with mental illness but most of the jobs people recommend have very little socialization are there any jobs out there for people without degrees that keep me busy allow for human interaction but arent super fastpaced and extremely repetitive maybe somewhere my chronic pain and fatigue will go unnoticed or at least not constantly preventing me from doing my job well ive considered book stores but id prefer not to work somewhere where its socially unacceptable to laugh and talk really loudly although thats not necessarily a dealbreaker if that ends up being the best option for me ,3.0
13903,tmillionaires hey johnny got your message seems like a plan  will see what i can do  best email me ,0.0
13904, sort of headachy ,2.0
13905,ow sunburn  steffbushey what were we thinking,2.0
13906,darn media box was going so well i knew something had to go wrong  vga to svideo converters are a bad idea guys  ,0.0
13907,ok so my picture isnt working dont know what to do hopefully i can fix it soon  tear ,2.0
13908,my last night in the city that never sleeps ,2.0
13909,risarm i tried replying to your mono lake tweet but dunno what happened just said i know that lake very well ,0.0
13910,he done it well deservedcongrats fed ,0.0
13911,go check out my bebo  find out a little about me   x,0.0
13912,theres a burst of happiness every now and then but it goes away quickly you know when youve been depressed for a really long time and theres a small burst of happiness that randomly comes you can find pleasure in almost everything now have the happy state of mind etc but it doesnt last long i hate it very fucking much it loves to fucking trick you at times id rather be sad then get that small burst of happiness teasing you that you will never feel that way,3.0
13913, hours tryin to get rob thomas attention i gotta face the fact that its a hopeless situation no mampg for annie  boo fuckin hoo ,2.0
13914,has just joined quotwe love clungequot the inbetweeners inspired group but not quotfeed a child with a clickquot  httpplurkcompywobq,0.0
13915,attempting to study for spanish pictures up on myspace ,0.0
13916,love my new braces colour  blue rocks,0.0
13917,sigh i guess its time to cut my nails i cant type anymore ,2.0
13918,i have to wear my glasses today ,2.0
13919,dont beat yourself up over the small things breathe and see the big picture anxiety befalls ,1.0
13920,stuck in rush hour traffic being forced to enhale the fumes of the semi next to me ,2.0
13921,missolicious mr loverman shabba lol ,0.0
13922, i didnt i had hot dogs and they gave me a headache pretty much all food does though ,2.0
13923,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
13924,i do this alot im  and ive been in and out of toxic relationships which i made i feel like everytime i find happiness i ruin it most of the time i know how im going to ruin it before i do but i still do but these actions i take are meant to make my life better i feel like my brain wants to be happy but my heart wants me to be sad,3.0
13925,youngq i didnt get to see u at mansfeild ,2.0
13926,i have girl scout thin mints be jealous ,0.0
13927,work at   why starbucks why,2.0
13928,barbiestash thats it we got a hit ladies amp gentle just throw some auto tune on that amp its a wrap oh wait jay said its dead  lol,2.0
13929,i have a serious puffy face going i hateeee allergies ,2.0
13930,calling the doctor tomorrow to get on anxiety meds i cant take these panic attacks anymore,2.0
13931,pink gutted i wanted to go but couldnt make it  ,2.0
13932,loneliness is killing so become interesting imagine the you are really an extroverted person but there is literally no one around to talk or reach for help i really dont know what to do at this point like no one irl wants to chat with me because i am a very boring person in general and have no same interests as others around methanks for reading this meaningless post idk why i wrote it,3.0
13933,only  in newport ri today ,2.0
13934, word me too ,0.0
13935,rt manlikekofii the academic neglect adds seasoning ,2.0
13936,updated my twitter ,0.0
13937,spending a quiet day at home bringing kids for swimming lessons later  looking fwd to doing the laps for my weekly exercise ,0.0
13938,being in a family is such a struggle you all know how it goes some days are better than others ive been great for the most part these last couple years but its fading away im a husband and a father and im supposed to be the foundation but i can feel myself crumbling  some days its like my mind is at war with itself one side if the happy social guy and the other side is the complete opposite today for example there was a parade my wife wants to go and of course my kid does but just the thought of it sounds awful  thats where the war begins i know of i go theres a chance ill be fine buy part of me doesnt want to take that chance which makes me angry i get so angry when i dont want to do something or go somewhere it makes me feel like an asshole that my wife and kid go do stuff alone she understands what i go through and doesnt put pressure i put pressure on myself especially when i dont do what i should do i should have went but here i am sitting in an empty house sad and angry that i am the way i am i regret every situation like this these are those feelings and states of mind that send people over the edge one day youre fine and the next you hate yourself so much that you cant go on any more until next time stay strong my friends,3.0
13939,am i tired bc of my shitty fucking thalassemia or my hyperthyroidism or my depression or a wonderful combination of all three the saga,1.0
13940,is havin a poo ,0.0
13941,love u taehyung♥️be strong ami are always by your side😢dont be sad it harms your health so much😥i can unde ,1.0
13942,rt schiuu birthday girl loved the cake and the cake was really really tasty 😋 ,1.0
13943,please help me get more followers ,0.0
13944,ahhhh really need to study but so lazyyy  ,2.0
13945,i have to get going on that devastatingly  sad stucky  fic im writing for megs ill have to write a fluffy sequ ,2.0
13946,is  on tuesday ,0.0
13947,im so sad rn ,2.0
13948,i done a whoops killed  django sites because i dont know anything about them  a little help someone,2.0
13949, i cannot wait for the  in the uk when the sims is released here so jealous i dont have it now ,0.0
13950,taylorainsley  she doesnt like them  harpooned the fail whale,2.0
13951,my boyfriend says he wants to hurt people my boyfriend of  years is very hard to get any info out about himself and his mental health we keep getting into fights and he starts hitting himself on the side of the head and pinching his neck and recently has started saying he doesnt want to kill people yesterday he made a direct threat saying he would kill our land lady to prove to me i dont know what to do he is seeing a councillor and just started group therapy i very much doubt he would do anything to anyone he doesnt have any weapons and isnt very strong does anyone have any advice hes more of a geeky behind the computer all day kind of person with not many real life skills hes very timid and shy and doesnt hold grudges he says hes been having these intrusive thoughts for  years and his mind is all garbled im the first hes told i have doubts if hes telling the therapist this and wonder if i should contact her,3.0
13952,rachaelwjones this is my first saturday off sinceyour wedding i think i feel ya ,2.0
13953,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
13954,bad at everything i know my problem sounds like a joke compared to the people who have really serious problems here but i dont know anywhere else to ventso this has been a problem for as long as i remember whenever i find a new interest sport or game im absolutely horrible at it im also slower than everyone when it comes to schoolwork and it feels like i have to try five times harder than everyone else im also starting to notice that my brothers are beginning to become better than me with the games we play ive played the games much longer than them still very mediocre and below average at the game and through practice theyre beating menow people are probably going to tell me something about practicing more practice smarter not harder or suggestions on changing the way i practice thing is i search up tutorials learn new techniques practice more and it never pays offis there something im just completely missing do i have some kind of autism i really want to know because i feel so inferior to everyone when it comes to almost anything that requires some kind of practice or skill,3.0
13955,tired of feeling like im in a pit its my first post here so im sorry of i mess upive felt like im in a sinking pit for the last almost  years i havent had a steady job i enjoyed ive felt so alone havent had anyone in my life i feel like like dont have anything good in my life people hear me say that and bring up my kids but even then its hard for me to feel happiness with them because i havent been able to be financially stable enough to be able to support them without help i thought i had finally found someone and i was happy only for them to suddenly decide that they cant do a relationship right now and just want to be friendsim just so tired of feeling hopeless about my career my social life my family life and well i havent found a glimmer of hope anywhere recentlythank you in advance for your time everyone in reading this ,3.0
13956,ramdomthoughts  geekachu its not really an awesome job i just couldnt sleep and got bored by  so i drove to work ,0.0
13957,simplynikkig i got you babe ,0.0
13958,lost the only thing that mattered to me  ago before the lockdown in my country i was really going through a rough patch in my life but fortunately for me on my way from work whilst headed to my run down flat i came across a wounded kitten that couldnt walk scavenging in trash  i adopted it cause clearly there was no owner in plain sight  for weeks i nurtured  until it grew better and people even noticed how it remarkably got healthy  it was all i had and kept me sane momentarily  most people in my country arent fond of cats because they have superstitious beliefs that cats are sometimes used by witches some threaten to kill it   that didnt stop me for sacrificing the little money i had to keep it healthy and feed it  im an introvert and suffered from depression  my pet was what would brighten up my day  until the lockdown commenced and my landlord has a no pets policy so i purchased a cage for my pet  unfortunately  ago my cat had disappeared and an old man a few blocks away suspected it was stolen or killed by either stray dogs or junkies  ill never really know but the cage was left damaged i searched for  days straight like a mad man but to know avail  i worked odd jobs to earn some money but the shops i worked for have been shut down due to the lockdown  i have little to no food left  no one to talk to and unfortunately my only source of momentary happiness  my cat quill is gone  i honestly dont know how ill cope  starving  alone and no one to talk to  my depression is back and so im here  if anyone wants to talk via pm it will brighten things up,3.0
13959,how to recognize depression in your loved one all too often individuals will say that they are depressed when they are feeling fed up or when things in their lives are not going as planned and equally often after a few days these feelings disappear however when an individuals sullen mood begins to last for a few weeks and interferes with their daily life they may be battling with depression a common mood disorders that affects more than  million adults in the united states each year one of the key factors about recognizing depression is that this mood disorder is not a onesizefitsall disorder there are many different symptoms and one individuals experience may be completely different from the next  physical signs associated with depression• lack of energy or feeling tired all the time• restlessness and agitation• having difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual• poor appetite which may lead to weight loss  • unexplained physical aches and pains   • selfharming behavior such as cutting  emotional warning signs associated with depression• feeling sad and in low spirits all the time crying all the time• having no interest in anything not getting any pleasure out of life• feeling anxious all of the time• having difficulty concentrating or remembering things  • being more irritable and impatient than usual   • feeling guilty as if everything that goes wrong is their fault,3.0
13960,drammaaaaa where are you  i need help an someone to laugj with me  haha,2.0
13961,back to reality n reality doesnt wait one day to hit so tweeken confused i hate dis ,2.0
13962,laylalavigne you got that right  big red ftw and then comes dr pepper,0.0
13963,i hated life once then it was alright for a while now back to hating it i grew up with a group of friends from school i was happy and we were pretty tight until my parents moved us to another area and another school since that time i suffered with depression through high school and part of college feeling like i was trapped in a physical and psychological prison i always kept my pain quiet because i hate putting burdens or pain on anyone i was bullied a lot and wasnt good at socialising and making friends i still struggle with thisthen one day i met a girl and we were together for  years i had a full time job havent stopped working since and i planned to ask this girl to marry me but then she broke up with me i managed for a while without being too depressed and looking back i believe it was better that we hadnt stayed together because she rarely took me seriouslyits been over a year since breaking up and i lived with a roommate for a while we signed a year lease but he left  months in forcing me to pay the bills myself for  months it was a coincidence that my parents lived in an apartment for a year and a half and their lease ended the same time as mine i didnt know anyone else to go to to room with so they moved in and we signed another lease togetheri dont hate my parents but i regret that decision big time i feel like im forced into the same life i had before my last gf and it doesnt help that i work everyday with may dad the job alone is frustrating and i also have to put up with them at night when i dont want to i hope i can find a way to get another gf because i desperately need a new roommate and soon but its so hard right nowmy whole life i played video games for fun but a lot of the time it was my escape i still play video games but recently ive tried learning new things like speaking russian and playing piano i find it hard to motivate myself to do those things regularly since quarantine i can still work in my region but it sucks because i cant go anywhere besides the grocery store i was also into lifting weights for a while but i got injured and still have the injury on my elbow but its gonna cost to much for treatment so right now im just dealing with it without being able to lift any weightsall in all i feel trapped again and its even worse than before i just wanted to put this out there hoping i might get some support from this community if anyone read through the whole post i appreciate you for taking the time to do so i also hope that someway people like me or people suffering in general right now can somehow find peace in this mess we are all stuck inthank you,3.0
13964,cootiepoop  for sure post pics  jealous they arent stopping in dallas ,2.0
13965,everything is falling apart my best friend passed away a few weeks ago so now i feel alone the house that my gf and i were going to buy fell through and now we are out the money for inspections and appraisal a few days after that i found out that my grant at the college would not cover everything this semester so i have to come up with  dollars by tuesday  i feel so defeated and alone right now i miss my friend i miss having things figured out,3.0
13966,pretty fun way to write a resignation  httpwwwfarbsorgmessagehtml,0.0
13967,gabwilkens you have no idea the depression its so harsh so real,1.0
13968,sarahsaner wanted to wish you a happy mothers day but i bet thats only in holland today  xx,0.0
13969,asked the chap i collected the swarm from yesterday to donate to bees for development httpbeesfordevelopmentorg rather than pay me ,0.0
13970,donniewahlberg aww donnie hugs x a million well always be here for you  ,0.0
13971,i think i need help now let me start by saying im not one of those people who like or look for attention this is not to get view or comments i may not even come back to this app to see the comments i feel like if i just end my life things would be better for everyonei have an impossible decision to make and i cant do iti hate living in nyc and want to move back to where i love but my wife will not come back with me but just the idea of not having my kids with me is breaking my hearti love them more than anything and i wont live without them there is no point for mei dont want to be a part time father i love waking up to them and hearing them running aroundthere are other things that have brought me to this decision to end my life but that is just a long story and no one cares but im tiring of the pain and tired of trying im just looking for the least painful way of doing this,3.0
13972,thapizzaclub hey what are you doing today maybe you fancy to meet me at the pferdemarkt ,0.0
13973,it suddenly hit me i havent been depressed for several years but it suddenly hit me the other day my girlfriend recently broke up with me i wasnt too upset about it it was honestly kind of a relief and i began feeling less anxious overall i was feeling good about a new starta friend recommend i check out tinder so i took the advice and made an account i matched with a few girls within the first day which felt nice and gave me a boost of self esteem i managed to get a couple phone numbers and began texting them i also started talking to some female friends as well as a couple new girls who i met through some friends everything was going fine for a few days until every single one of the girls i had been talking to suddenly stopped talking to me just stopped replying to my messages i tried being persistent by sending a new message each day for  days but still only managed to get one  maybe two  replies before the conversations endedi sat alone in my apartment trying to understand what the problem was if i had done something wrong i began thinking to myself is it my appearance or my personality eventually i started telling myself that maybe im just not good enough for any girl im attracted to i realized i was feeling depressed again the feeling started a few days ago and hasnt gone away im trying to figure out what i should do i dont want to give up trying to find a nice girl to talk to because i want to feel happy againim not necessarily making this post for advice or anything the purpose of this post is more just to rant and get it off my chest so i can hopefully feel a little better and feel well enough to actually want to go to work ,3.0
13974,samseriously im going at  pm ,0.0
13975, fire trucks driving north on the  ,2.0
13976,nuttychris nah you forgot about me ,2.0
13977,finding the last few pictures i need for photo book and listening to a carrie underwood cd ,0.0
13978,you see the goat move on howard the switch in mid air what hangtime ,0.0
13979,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
13980,i think my stomach is upset for the second time in the week ,2.0
13981,is getting ready for a gig tonight guess once an actor always an actor back to magazine work tomorrow ,0.0
13982,calling all dane ghyllers now in year ten take a look at the face book pics wait a min none of you are following me ,2.0
13983,condolences for your granpas death taehyungie stay strong we purple you ps dont stress yourself too much we ,2.0
13984,where it all started for the fab    ,0.0
13985,ariannypilarte lucianavillalba i remember larry on fb saying that mtv wasnt invited to the set this time ,2.0
13986,which big local acc rted this omg,1.0
13987,im free ,0.0
13988,is  the cheesecake factory with my spoiled rotten daughter per her persistent request dads a push over ,2.0
13989,im so stressed out  ,2.0
13990,remember the liverpool tweet up on the  of december  httpwwwliverpooltweetupcouk go take a look and join us if you can ,0.0
13991,incindia till now not waived farmers loan in karnataka by cong jds govtamp not giving any time or forgot before ,0.0
13992,rt princessdees anxiety is a bitch,2.0
13993,yesterday i saw happy feet on tv  mumble is cute xd,0.0
13994,is led in bed bored and should be out with friends  and is wondering what its like to have a tounge peircing l,2.0
13995,i actually love george  vicky thankyou sweeeetumses ,0.0
13996,well ppl its  havent slept yet i dont think ima sleep tonite at all  til  of the worst moments of my life pray for us plz ,2.0
13997,brigwyn ohh is this a new avatar i see very nice ,0.0
13998,mango medley has yummy mango and mango ice cream ,0.0
13999,me venting lately i have been so stressed it is unreal my stress meter went so high i dont feel stressed i also am so sad but i cant cry because i am so sad the time gaps i have drive me up the wall i will be at the table with my hair down and eating food while watching netflix next thing i know it is  hours later and my dad is getting home for lunch this isolation is driving me nuts i forget things left and right someone will tell me something and it is like i was never told i was stressed before but school paired with music was enough to keep my thoughts from consuming me now i am stuck at home with only my thoughts im sorry if this is pointless i just needed to vent btw i am not suicidal,3.0
14000,definitely having a pretty bad bout lately im just sending this here because i dont feel comfortable telling my friends or my mom a couple weeks ago i broke up with the love of my life because she was away for grad school and i couldnt handle the distance it was a  hour time difference i couldnt handle it she never did anything wrong and if she did then we would talk about it and work it out it got to be too much and i pulled out now i constantly just think about what shes doing in her single life and its killing me i see her in my dreams im constantly checking her instagram i wish i could tell her to just block me so i cant look and see what shes doing tbh the last couple weeks have been filled with little to no sleep i rarely go to bed before  am and i rarely get out of bed before  pm today was  am to  pm im barely eating too i cant motivate myself to get up and do anything productive i turn  next month which means i wont be on my parents insurance anymore and im diabetic so thats also stressing me out i graduated from college last year and ive been actively searching for a big boy job ever since i would say for every  applications i send out  of them get replied with a no youre not right for us at this time while the other  ignore me completely i dont want to live at home anymore but i dont feel comfortable moving until i have a better job its just a never ending chain of things that dont feel like theyre working out in my favor thanks for listening ,3.0
14001,how da fck is this stresssinq you out my bad yaritzamar delqado morales que la chinqada lol ,0.0
14002,rantadvicebleh i lost essentially all of my teenage years to depression missed  of each school year since i was  i got to near the end of grade  when i finally snapped and dropped out with  courses left that was  years ago and ive done nothing but decompose ever sincedepression is more a part of me than i am a part of me and ive dug myself deeper and deeper into the hole that is apathy i could say i want to finish school  i want to succeed i want to be happy into the mirror  times but absolutely no physical motivation sets and more importantly keeps me on a given path towards that goal when i cant change something the only way i could avoid pain is to convince myself that its okay to fail that if i lose the game its okay because the game doesnt matter my connection to the real world is so severed at this point that i dont even feel a hint of loneliness at my lost connections and lack of relationships whenever people ask me how im doing or how ive been after giving the same good im sure youve had to say many times i thought about what my actual answer is if i were to describe it i would describe it as a  with perpetually decreasing standards i honestly dont even feel like i deserve to post here considering ive never been suicidal and i dont even feel that much emotional pain but im so fucking paralyzed because even when i do succeed to make change it always fizzles i feel like im not even alive im just watching myself live and obsessively seek out self destructioni went from barely keeping my head above water to successfully drowning when i dropped out even if i do manage to claw my way back to the surface theres nothing waiting for me but more swimming and i never learned how here are some specific details of my situation i know im much better at giving advice to others than listening to myself and i know some of you are the same way any perspective would help hand chronic pain thats very random and occasionally debilitating to the point of being incapable of working ehlersdanlos have a very strong support group but it doesnt really help my main issues seen multiple therapists of increasing price most recently a cbt therapist whose main approach was stop thinking lol is it worth looking for other therapists im covered but not beyond a small chunk of appointments all year i have what id call a porn addiction took awhile for me to realize because i dont actually do it very often every other day but it definitely is one ive been routinely watching since around  years old most of my day is playing video games and chasing instant gratification as much as possible probably do this so obsessively to avoid dealing with my thoughts im trying to remedy this through strict programs that regulate my usage but progress has been slow does anyone know some tools that might be helpful the only times i really go out is with my case manager once a week and rarely with my high school friend group will likely be going to university for psychology at some point i dont eat much at all and dont drink that much water very thin due to recently losing a lot of weight  lbs at  foot  no hobbies or interests extremely unfit of course i live at home with my mom but i choose to pay rent  have a lot of money in the bank due to disability and not spending it thanks,3.0
14003,whew this was a fun booth thanks all who came by for your support it was my first booth  lots work lots fun now to callbacks ,0.0
14004,my mom just told me that if i was more grateful for the things i have i would be happier guess im grateful for the constant feeling of wanting to end my fucking life and also im grateful that people cant fucking tolerate me and hate my presenceim grateful that no matter how hard i try to do something i always end up failing every tiny success is pushed down when some other fucker comes up and starts boasting about how they did this great thing and that great thing and i just beat myself up more cuz why the fuck did i ever believe that i could do anything that really mattered like why the fuck am i taking up space in the worldalso grateful that my own family doesnt consider me as a person really more like a thing thats just like meh in the corner everydaycomment below what youre grateful for guys,3.0
14005,jamaica is hottoo hot  ,2.0
14006,feel like crap blocked up nose and sore throat the worst ,2.0
14007,robinniqua lmfao i didnt recognize him until after hahaha gtlt and noo i have never seen borat i know extreme fail ,2.0
14008,im watching recess the cartoon show ,0.0
14009,is bored and doing nothing fun ,2.0
14010,tomorrow is going to be the last day of summer ,2.0
14011,seeking advicesupport heyi have been trying to take care of my depression for about  years now a couple years in college and then the rest after college i still see a therapist and psychiatrist with medication i never really seeked employment during those  years after college because i just really didnt care or saw the point a lot of people would tell me getting a job will make you feel better about yourself and can be a good step i get that and all and recently got a fulltime job the work is really no big deal but i still dont see the point to anything or making that money wouldnt help as i would feel the same i also feel like im doing nothing i feel like i am distracting myself from my depression and need therapy close to three times a week to help myself i feel throughout the past  years i still feel the same i havent been on the job for long and feel extremely shameful embarrassed guilty and stupid feeling if i left the job wasted their time and energy and  then maybe found something part time really close to my house the part time would be a way to focus on my mental health which i am pretty sure i have been depressed since middle school  i just do not see the point in a lot of stuff feel shameful of that and feel like i am trapped forever with this feeling i feel like an idiot for for being  and these thoughts i havent explained everything i go through  from all the years because it would be a scattered mess this is just the present situation that i am having a major difficulties finding my way throughwould anyone like to offer help,3.0
14012,so much of my life has gone by without me even noticing i was looking back on certain things like twitter accounts and blogs i used to visit regularly i also checked out the profiles of some of my old friends half of them arent even active anymore and yet it feels like they were lively and doing all sorts of things just yesterday my mind feels like its stuck in  my teenage years have just passed me by and i will never get them back i cant believe i have to think about college and becoming an adult it seems as if i never even got to be a child years have gone by but i seem to think that no time has passed at all its a terrifying feeling i have no idea what my identity is or what my talents are or if i even have any im simply hollow and it hurts so much i think ive repressed so much of my life because of the trauma ever since middle school and maybe even before then i would make up a separate identity and world inside my head and i lived in books rather than my real life i was constantly dissociating its so painful i want my childhood back,3.0
14013,i isolate myself from my own family cant screamcant get angry cant complaincant crycant choose friends because my friends are bad instead ask me to go make friends with religious peoplecant even choose a girlfriend of my own  cant even do anythingi hate my family,3.0
14014,i still dont own mbv  ,2.0
14015,yeah  i always wanted to know what happened after that,0.0
14016,combating feelings of depression and loneliness check out this video ,2.0
14017,do you ever just cry for the person you used to be even with my chemical imbalance i used to be an active social person i was funloving and outgoing and for the most part happy  now it seems all i do is go to work come home and sleep i want to do things i used to enjoy but im so drained by just surviving i try so hard but i cant push myself to it breaks my heart and i grieve for the person i used to be because i dont feel like shes even a part of me anymore,3.0
14018,woo front yard and side yards done  been doing dishes and laundry all morning  cant wait for ky to be home,0.0
14019,at the school teaching how to make first person shooters games using  ,0.0
14020,ashes to ashes was amazing so sad though ,2.0
14021,i feel hopeless amp useless because of relationship amp bad life decisions im a  year old male in the past half months ive realized so much i came to many realizations such as i wasted  years away to be honest i wasted  i didnt go to university this year because you know i thought i can wait and just do what i want to do now i regret is so much also regret the fact that i pissed away  years in high school i didnt study i was busy having fun i had no plans so to speak i actually had some but no actions nor thoughts on achieving it so i had the everythings fine everythings going to be alright i will study when its time to do so let me do this and then later i will do it mindset sometimes i was foolish i thought the world was mine and nobody can stop me because i was young  years old i thought i can do anything because parents can give me money and i didnt have to focus on anything i was like i didnt really hanged out that much so its time to do everything including girls i had some girlfriends not one not two but not five i had  girlfriends im sad about all of them maybe i cant let them go and thats why i am not able to talk to girls anymore or i dont knowthe thing is those times have passed and im here as a  year old who hasnt started university yet has no girlfriend i feel like im going to be single forever yet im seeing all those couples it makes me feel more depressed the majority of my friends from high school are not there anymore also the activities ive done back in the day are not entertaining anymoreits very hard now at this point i dont know any girls i dont know how to pick up girls i also dont want a one night stand i want a serious relationship but i am also afraid of being cheated on im a mess at this point ,3.0
14022,tizzysizzleberg i know poor lamb she texted me ,2.0
14023,its only monday  ,2.0
14024,hollymayers ibuprofen are like mampms to me now  down at a time ,0.0
14025, lolz  itsrtcetbe,0.0
14026,i cant wait for tomorrow to play time is running out by muse  oh yeah ,0.0
14027,ssavannahjaydee oh goody hopefully i can see you ,0.0
14028,lithousewife  i missed all the fun  nat book fest here we come,2.0
14029,lofnotc luckily i just usually drink jack daniels black label gentleman jack if im feeling real generous oh and frisky ,0.0
14030,missing houston   ,2.0
14031,recording again  cíara and holly ,2.0
14032,needs to sleep work tomorrow get at me ,0.0
14033,i just watched argentos quotsuspiriaquot and now i cant sleep ,2.0
14034,lost my pet today hi all my pet fish died today i know he was just a fish and maybe im being melodramatic but im quite upset about itive been feeling very low lately and losing something that i was responsible for is hurting me a lotbecause of my low mood i didnt change his water as often as i should have and i think that made him get sick im blaming myself a loti know this isnt that serious of an issue especially compared the the troubles some people have here but i want to know how i should deal with something like this have you ever lost a pet,3.0
14035,ive got the get up and go to work blues ,2.0
14036,agiht list closed got the folks that dm me there info if u didnt sorry ,2.0
14037,ok i have a lot of dvds  rearranging my entire collection ,2.0
14038,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
14039,i also got my book in the mail today that means i wont get superbehind on english again yay ,0.0
14040,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
14041,major cardiac event at  whilst getting through depressionsuicidal thoughts so a week after my  last december i suffered an anterior stemi myocardial infarction  heart attack in the main artery  and diagnosed with moderately impaired left ventricular systolic dysfunction which is the most frightening part for me as its the first early sign of heart failure i have a  year history with depression bullied family problems moved around alot common back story really i guessi dealt with depression by smoking weed everyday and that was life for me but then the suicidal thoughts started a couple years back after some tragic events until these past few months i had never attempted any kind of suicide the urges were intense i would fantasize about hanging myself or going to my local train station but the thoughts somewhat helped and gave me peace knowing there was a  way out i was managing until the heart attack  i was discharged after  days on plenty of tablets and off work for  months i havent taken any of my medication for the past month hoping something big will happen because even if i keep coping with depression and suicidal thoughts im now at such a high risk of another heart attack or heart failure that i dont want to spend years accomplishing things when i could have  years left my doctor does not know i havent taken any medication or that ive been suffering with suicidal thoughts so for anyone whos been in a suicidal state how did it go with telling a doctor and did antidepressants workjust for reference before the heart attack i was smoking weed often but had been going to the gym  days a week after work so no weight problems and have a family history of heart complications,3.0
14042,i am so inloove again ,0.0
14043, do you think that your animals have depression,2.0
14044,stopped feeling i say spiritual some say depression on march   if i recall correctly i felt a change in me i think it was spiritual but i lost the ability to feel to feel sad happy to cry to get mad and stay mad or to stay any emotion at alli also went numb as if my body was able to tolerate increasingly more than i realisednow i say this is spiritual because this happened the day i think i did the irreversible sin in the bible and didnt realise what id doneand id in one night gotten insomnia schizophrenia extreme weight loss along with the loss of my emotions and numbess which lead me to believe the that im might have lost my soulif youd like to talk spiritual by all means call me but if youd also like to call it depression youre just as welcome to call me just ask and ill give my contact so we can talk and vent with each other,3.0
14045,mitchelmusso dudee you didnt call me today  haha,2.0
14046, days to our breakin arts show come on luton ,0.0
14047,twitter how i missed you spent all day yesterday unpluggedit was kind of nice ,0.0
14048,paulapollita  eu tb acho ,2.0
14049,dont have anyone to talk to feel stuck dont know where to start ive just recently started feeling super depressed i cant talk to anyone about this because it would affect my career and i dont want to talk to the wife about it weve grown apart i know were pretty much together for the kids dont even sleep in the same room have a big house brand new cars and the works but none of this makes me happy ive always been a chill easy going person so i feel ashamed that i even feel this way i cant end my own life because i dont want to fuck my kids over ive thought about it a lot lately divorce seems just as bad not sure how it would affect the kids wife looks at me with disdain and disappointment and shes always tired or sick being around her doesnt make me happy my kids make me happy and purposeful but thats it im trying not to let it affect my job and social life in case its a rut but im running out of energy and will to go on all this facade about how put together i am is getting hard i just wish i could talk to someone about my feelings ,3.0
14050,  rum amp coke my trademark ,0.0
14051,plz tell me release date would like very much ,0.0
14052,debbiefletcher ooow youre sweet  we love you too,0.0
14053,i also got a new nickname for ultimate igloo so thats how its gonna be now ,0.0
14054,good morninits a rainy day ,2.0
14055,what does it take for talk shows to address a crippling disease which is being ignored by some drs and the cdc has a friend with lyme ,2.0
14056,wolverine was actually rubbish not just not very good but real genuine bonafide rubbish and i love quotsuperheroquot movies ,2.0
14057,uh oh banished to crate again for barking at the mean old cat ,2.0
14058,anxiety anxiety everywhere,1.0
14059,he will be here in less than hour ,0.0
14060,banshee wont sync my horror podcast pseudopod annoying tea and toast tired need more sleep and must go to gym  not been for ages ,2.0
14061,going to try to go to bed early i need to catch up on some rest even though sleep will probably be a little hard being in my bed alone ,2.0
14062,fredrikn home newhome   init guess youre in init phase my friend  will miss my shopping partner ,0.0
14063,rt eyeforhistory  oyster shuckers children of the great depression httpstcoaaqkycqzah,2.0
14064,venesection completed at last  soon off home  relax  the rest of afternoon need a proper coffee  hospital wet stuff is not coffee ,2.0
14065, im sorry  lol how can you trick it lol thats kinda hard for me to do idk lol,2.0
14066,so tired  school was alrights but it went by pretty quick  tennis was fun  gotta study for exams ,0.0
14067,im so fucking sad,2.0
14068,bfoyee hi braaandon havea goood day bro ,0.0
14069,deewoodz youre on quotdaddy dutyquot  get in that ktichen amp get you chef boyardee on lol,0.0
14070,listening so far so great  demi lovato its the music from the opening series sunny with a chance ,0.0
14071,my friend overdosed today and i dont know what to do instead of taking  antidepressant pill she took  she came to school  minutes after she took the pills and said she did it on purpose she said maybe if i take this many pills ill stop being depressed they took her to the hospital about  minutes after she took the pills and nobody will know what happened until she texts us i dont know how im supposed to feel but i feel numb everything but nothing at once i dont even know if i can be there for her after because it was so stupid i know i should be there for but i dont know if i can be it might be too much for me ive had friends before that had these problems and it affected me so badly making me depressed as well i dont know if i can do it again im sorry if my spelling or grammar is messed up im still shaken up what can i do,3.0
14072,saltyshutter nice pics shame i missed it ,2.0
14073,reading dolly and girlfriend mags with nikitaa ,0.0
14074,i cant do it i cant fucking do it anymore i dont know how i cant handle the constant god damn fucking roller coaster of stress and then crushing feelings of loneliness while managing school work i dont know why i keep going forward when it physically pains me and i feel like im not contributing anything to society other than wasting fucking oxygen i try to talk to girls and end up embarrassing myself and feel even more like shit i have no drive or motivation for school work i feel like my life is slipping away at my fingers my friends couldnt give a rats ass about me and odontological even know who to call a friend any more i dont know how long i can take it i feel weak,3.0
14075,rt  ahh the holiday anxiety had begun already,2.0
14076,real depression hours,2.0
14077,thoughts i think im depressed and i feel bad for saying that because some people dont have a family andor home but i have a family a nice house except i just havent had any friends for the majority of my life and the ones i do have dont ever talk to me they seem to act like i dont even exist sometimes i just feel so alone,3.0
14078, and being really hard on myself so im a  year old male  my dad passed away  years ago after a  year battle with cancer  my exstep mother kicked me out of the house a month after that so i moved in with my mother and a few other family members  im at a job that doesnt pay enough to get my own place takes advantage of any extra work i do and refuses to move me anywhere higher because i dont have a degree  sent about  resumes out to jobs and got nothing back  applied for a dream job and got told they hired someone else  im fat balding not funny or charming and have alearning disability that makes me feel way stupider then everyone around me  had a long relationship years back that was emotionally and mentally abusive that has made me a jealous commitmentphobe who has way too many control issues  i take the maximum amount of meds allowed for anxiety issues because without them i would have daily long panic attacks about dyingim currently laying in a bed in a hotel at a convention with a friend whos a girl who fucked a different dude while here and sees me as just the friend  if she had even just cuddles id think id burst into tears from just feeling like someone cared for even a secondbeen on  dating sites and have sent  of messages with nothing in response  i tell people ive given up dating because i dont want kids but in actuality no one wants mei dont know what to do with my life as everyone else around me is moving forward and just feel pathetic and useless,3.0
14079,if i could grant you three wishes to make your life better what would it be you dont even have to read my three wishes just put down what you want in the realm of possibility with as much detail as you can it helps me to write down shit like this so i hope it can help youfor me i have always had these three in mind give me motivation the one thing i had in life that i could always hold on to was my intelligence through all the peace and the wars that went on in my mind the one true constant was being smart however if you were to look at my grades and transcripts you would label me as an average student adhd makes it hard to focus on tests in class during lectures depression makes me not care enough to do homework or to study i know how much i could do my friends during my times of anguish and anxiety always reassure me with the notion that i am smarter than they are yet they continue to do so much more than me i want to work to my full potential  give me someone to love i always got myself to keep going by telling myself that love is all i need that school it doesnt matter my own happiness and that of my future family is all that does give me someone to get me going in the morning give me a reason to go to school give me a reason to better my life give me a reason to live  give me something enjoyableno matter how many different hobbies or interests i pursue i always find myself at square one without anything to do on a daily basis i want something that is enjoyable something that can be practiced i want something to tell people when they ask so what do you do for fun or what kind of hobbies do you have maybe i couldnt find something to do because of my depression or maybe im just a picky impatient person in general it doesnt matter just give me something that i can enjoy motivation love and a passion those are the three things i want i dont know how to find it i have small hope that one day i will find at least one of them i have so much of life to live but for now im going to lay in bed cry and have an existential crisis,3.0
14080,darthrazorback voting ,0.0
14081, i know you were kidding  oh its no problem i did too,0.0
14082,struggling i was separated from the military recently for persistent depressive disorder and anxiety disorder i was preparing to go to college and my wife divorced me out of the blue i might be homeless in  weeks i cant stop crying it just doesnt stop and i dont know what to do im so scared i dont know where to go,3.0
14083,bah    shift tonight ,2.0
14084,katie fought depression with exercise — amp lost  pounds  im convinced theres a connection httpstcodquerotlpk,2.0
14085,i never feel happy enough do you know that feeling im not a sad person i live like any normal person with good and bad days but i always feel like there is something missing like im waiting for something but i dont know what itseven though im in a way better place in my life now i suffered from depression but im better now but im never so happy or excited as others am i just too dramatic  ,3.0
14086,gaming im not sure why but games use to help me get through some rough times in my life but here recently it does not make me feel any different i feel meh about everything ive taken paxil for a long time for anxiety and manic depression but now i just feel nothing just emptiness and a deep sadness espically because i am so bad at every game i play idk what to do anymore i just want to lay somewhere and rot,3.0
14087,just had good talk with cousin angela ,0.0
14088,a nice long rehearsal today ,0.0
14089,going go pick up my dad from the airport ,0.0
14090,if you can relate my depression is making mac n cheese at  and not even eating it its drinking water every five minutes but nothing can quench my thirst its not taking my medication because it makes me feel numb but needing it when every single emotion hits me at once its continuously saying i want to die and not realizing thats not normal its not wanting to get out of bed but feeling even worse for not doing so depression really sucks the life out of you doesnt it,3.0
14091,we are driving to atlanta we are in our van have not rolled in this van in years so many memories kinda miss it ,2.0
14092,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
14093,semispaniard without a doubt i have already mentioned that to several people whenever you make your way over here we will get at it ,0.0
14094,i have nothing but my typewriters i havent had friends to any real degree this past year everyone just  abandoned me and i have only had just one escape—typing stuff up on my small collection of manual typewriters  whenever i see people socialising i always feel a longing and deep down pain because almost all of my current efforts have led to people thinking im crazy annoying or just plain unlikable its been like this since i was in kindergarten and i dont feel like i can just be social anymore  even my online efforts have been unsatisfactory i also have issues feeling stuff online is real  this has led me in part to quit my job which was just me solo running a museum  i spend a lot of time outofdoors because spending time at home puts me around abusive people and i always try to be social but it just fails a lot i feel as if i am really unlikable  and everything i have tried never works out  not to mention that my family full and completely forgot my  birthday in february which helped to make me feel like naught,3.0
14095,asdghjkl phoneeeeeeee  ,0.0
14096,too much phone hurts my ear ,2.0
14097,i want a guinea pig ,2.0
14098,rt ralphscenic round up the reds as a way out of the depression lol ,2.0
14099, hey black hair suits u by the way ,0.0
14100,at the mtv awards right now ,0.0
14101,want  go play n the streetz some more  but fell asleep on the couch  legz cant move  ,2.0
14102,on the plane back to md ,2.0
14103,someone pleease help me compute fourier series coefficients ,2.0
14104,amespratt we wear shortshorts  theres hot shortshorts  we like shortshorts  who wears shortshorts  we wear shortshorts ,0.0
14105,im still so tired ,2.0
14106,i think i passed my math final i think i did i hope  btw today was the last day i see my bff  i miss her already so hard  say bye,2.0
14107,oh dear me thinks youngest daughter doesnt like her newly bleached hair i can hear a lot of banging and shouting coming from up stairs ,2.0
14108,i should be happy right now im sitting at my desk at  in the morning with the love of my life sleeping in the next room i should be happy why am i not nothing seems wrong schools going well jobs good and yet i still end up feeling like im drowning i normally can ignore it but sometimes it just gets too much and i end up like i am now crying at my desk with no real reason why i dont even really know why im saying all this just feel the need to vent for some reasonim not looking for feedback and even if i was i dont know what it would be for im just so confused,3.0
14109,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
14110,cassn note to self do english essay and pay attention in class ,0.0
14111,uh oh movie night just got interrupted dane cooks vicious circle is on and it just started theres no way i can not watch it ,0.0
14112,mactipsdaily pretty sure doc said if youre really worried take a baby aspirin ,0.0
14113,clairecordon shopping at tesco on a saturday is relaxing and allows one to realign their inner harmony lucky you  stuffwotimadeup,0.0
14114,vyvanse and ptsd mixing horribly tldr adhd meds magnify breakdowns and ptsdi was diagnosed with adhd when i was  and have been taking different medications for years to try and treat it i was also heavily abused from when i was  by my mother and uncle raped and beaten and starved im  now and all the horrible memories started to resurface a year ago and i was diagnosed with ptsd and have been getting therapy for a while now but this isnt about that i take vyvanse right now for adhd and the crash makes me completely breakdown ptsd flashbacks dissociation and i guess depression the thing is im in all ap classes and if i stop taking my medication then ill fail them all and then its over i cant fully control what happens to me as im underage i dont know what to do anymore anyone else struggle with adhd meds causing problems thank you for reading if anyone does,3.0
14115,do you have any tips on how to start living after a rough time after a period in my life where everyone i knew left me for unknown reasons i ve tried to find myself by spending some time alone and it cant get any harder cant find the force or motivation to start doing things again i cant find happiness in anything cant work listen to music watch movies tv i just cant think about anything else then pulling the trigger every morning is there anything i can do to help myself ,3.0
14116,has finally got something to wear  woohoo cant wait to go out in abit xxxx,0.0
14117, i dunno what to do now,2.0
14118,i have to go into town really dont want to at all ,2.0
14119,enohio youre an hour early but thank you ,0.0
14120,tsarnick for the diamonds  ,0.0
14121,rt  mi autoestima depende de los comentarios de otros sad but truth,1.0
14122,thetrumptrain thats a mental health problem  if you ignore it it doesnt exist  just keep spouting crap that ,2.0
14123,no football tonight birthday in a week ,0.0
14124,yuliyatsukerman come baaaack to the west coast ,2.0
14125,brucestrav lol well i am to please so next one will wear my cubs cap  i just wanted to prove i actually had hair ,0.0
14126,waffleswithjam cant wait to hear that song love how it has some rap to it joe is such a great rapper anyway ,0.0
14127,heichdee mani miss that kind of coldnessno oily faceloln my body clock had to adapt to sch time when im awakehes aslpvice versa ,2.0
14128,i think i might be depressed hey first time posting here looking for insight  i have been depressed in the past but ive never really considered myself a depressed person more of the anxious type however with all the time i have to think at home given the quarantine i am starting to think i may be depressed •lately i have no will power to get out of bed until hours after my alarm goes off•when im finally up i really dont have the motivation to do anything besides sit on my phone or watch tv ive replaced those with better habits like reading•simple things like doing my laundry the dishes etc are exhausting and its hard to push myself to do more than the bare minimum•one if the bigger things is i have no hobbies passions or outlets to put my energy in i used to workout a ton be in a band etc despite my level of lethargy id still make time for those things no matter what now they just seem exhausting and burdensome•im stuck in this loop of comparing myself to others nonstop•then the most frustrating is i have so many thing i want to do i want to make music starts a podcast write a book get into woodworking hiking rock climbinga lot but i dont have whatever internal mechanism turns your wants or ambitions into action like i have the dream but im stuck on my assi know that sounds like depression in its own but i also have an autoimmune issue and a sleep disorder so i already just wrestle with chronic fatigue so im not sure if these are symptoms of being tired or depressed i was hoping for some input and advice,3.0
14129,why is it that everytime i go to mcdonalds to get a small breakfast i always end up with a stomach ache  it was just a sausage biscuit ,2.0
14130,jasonnott let me know how it is i wanna see it soon ,0.0
14131,lindzie seomom hahaha cant wait to see his response after trying it  waiting waiting,0.0
14132,spankransom im trying to figure out why i dont see your tweets even though im following you ,2.0
14133,ocbreakfastshow keep up the good work luton to aldershot not fun after  hr night shift ,2.0
14134,i hate working this early theres never anyone to talk to ,2.0
14135,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
14136,myself social anxiety talking to me right before i order food,1.0
14137,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
14138,feel like crap for no reason nothing triggered this  not valentines cos ive been single my whole life so its just another meaningless day to meive either the will or the energy to try and drag myself out of this mindset  again  and to be honest im getting pretty pissed off at myself for having to do that every month or so the only thing i want is to be alone so i dont have to talk to  be around people like super alone  think large dark room so far away from folk that you cant even hear any traffic in the distance  but thats not possible got a therapy session in about a hour and a half amp i cant even explain why im feeling so shit  ,3.0
14139,taking lyric to the drno off day for me ,2.0
14140,dominos pizza bang on delivered in the  minute ,0.0
14141,fixing to walk into work im ready for new moon and all the wolves ,0.0
14142,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
14143,thegadgetshow looking forward to it ,0.0
14144,msalmondeyes no  i wish i was though i love them,2.0
14145,im really bored ,2.0
14146,rt bernmelnyk teen suicide is on the rise we must do a better job with prevention and teaching cbtcoping skills before depression occur,1.0
14147,tonycupcakes come back to nyc im lonely ,2.0
14148,reasons for and against telling your so about your mental state hi all i was wondering if you could please give me some advice i havent yet discussed my mental health with my girlfriend i think people are  right in saying someone with depression should get professional help however i have two reasons that make me hesitant to tell her in particular them being in order of importance it will make her feel pressured to stay with me we have a strong relationship when i think about this from her perspective though i would feel obligated to stay with the person i was seeing to care for them and also to not put them though a breakup what if she wants to leave the relationship for unrelated reasons it almost feels controlling like a person in an emotionally abusive relationship who isnt actually depressed making up reasons to guilt the other person into staying i dont want to be a burdenthere are counterarguments though like i want to be completely transparent with her in our relationship i would want to know if she was going through somethingshould i just downplay the severity of it that feels dishonest thank you for your input i sincerely appreciate you taking the time to help,3.0
14149,and the worst thing u r sorrounded ng mga narrowminded na mga kaibigan sad — awde ,2.0
14150, hey i just watched fairytale from eurovision and wow this is so good  i just thought id share srry  how r u,0.0
14151,terrybrown on  thoughts i dont think theyre contradictory and you find both approaches used in the last site i worked on  fma ,0.0
14152,boooo my  wkend bein  n ima b in tha house alone ,2.0
14153,nicktweets going on a long tour of call of duty ,0.0
14154,theyre sappin mah sentry errr yea im without power at home right now ,2.0
14155,rt natashale how sad is it when you continue seeing the good in someone and they still do you dirty,1.0
14156,ddlovato im so mad i cant see you this year ,2.0
14157,its  cake and coffee for breakfast again  now playing tank from cowboy bebop,0.0
14158,dental clinic news tms therapy offers hope for senior adults with depression ,1.0
14159,mongab where did you guys have dinner last night ,0.0
14160,depression has robbed me of my identity and its scaring me ive had major depressive disorder for a number of years now but im struggling lately in coming to terms with the fact that despite desperately wanting to i dont have a capacity to enjoy hobbies activities or people that i used to its a scary feeling of claustrophobia as if theres a concrete block between me and my experience in the world and i cant connect with anything in a satisfactory waydoes anyone have any advice or words of encouragement about this the dissociation is scaring me without your hobbies interests relationships etc  who are you i feel like i can barely connect with things i used to confidently claim as part of my being and that connection is getting even weaker all the time im scared of being a shell and letting down the people around me who i cant meet halfway in their enthusiasm for maintaining closeness,3.0
14161,rt darlingspectrum my heart is full of love and empathy for our boy during this sad time 💜,1.0
14162,idk what to do anymore i have a crush on girl for  years we are studying in different schools nowadays every asking out or simple chatting was very bad cause she were ignoring me few weeks ago we started to chat again and she became another person she commented my photosshe told that im cute and etc yesterday we spend about  hour together that was just chance meeting she gave me really huge new year present and i was really happy then i asked her out and she said yes feeling was amazing today she wrote that she is busy and deleted comments and it feels like she started to ignore me again so now i feel very badalmost crying i dont know what to do then and i cant simply forget her i need your advice guys thank you 😩,3.0
14163,is anyone else bummed out about the future like why would i want to work  hours a week just to squeeze by i wont be doing something i enjoy itll be torturous literally nothing feels worth staying alive for,3.0
14164,dammit just tried to  get into  but the game is full ,2.0
14165,the sims  is out youll never know how terribly excited that makes me  its sad ,2.0
14166,shinybiscuit make one from tea towelscurtains ,0.0
14167,ah party time  see yall later suckers,0.0
14168,finally progress roughly three years ago i had a massive depressive episode i didnt even left my bed stayed in my pyjamas the whole day did nothing my father burst into my room shouting that i have to stop doing this theatre otherwise they have to take me to a doctor vecause my mom was worrying about me he was not even saying we should go to a doctor because i was miserable but because my mom was not happy because she worried about melast year i told myself that i finally should say that i want to go to a psychologist but i wasnt able first when i told my mom she said that i had always been strong and i should consinder trying it on my own but due to anxiety i was not able to make an appointment myselfbut finally and with the help of my mom  i going to have my first appointment next week im so happy,3.0
14169,getting ready for mi last day at school   eva ,2.0
14170,mojoey impressive this may be the only place i am blogrolled  out of  followers i doubt many skeptics link my site nullsessionnet,2.0
14171,hram wondering who gives a crap about what men think about gauchos i still love them ,0.0
14172,rt chuuzus the perks of being a wallflowera great movie with really sad and happy momentsbest ending for a teenage movie httpstco,0.0
14173,numb depression is a bitch im  years or so in im doing good by all definition but some days i just feel like numb white noise like if i died instantaneously it would be fine but i wont i will keep going i have a purpose i just feel worth less and sad and lonely and thats ok ,3.0
14174,this is literally me bgd ,2.0
14175,sonjanorwood hey sonja i just wanted to let you know you and your daughter are such a beautiful women and hope that you follow me ,0.0
14176,mybonescostme yup yup yup summers are always awesome ,0.0
14177,all shopped out ,2.0
14178,chillin at home sick ,2.0
14179,i am actually doing nothing just sitting here figuring out how twitter actually workswell and i stalk celebrities ,0.0
14180,i can not study at all i dont know if i can post this in this sub but here i go so i dont know why but i cant study like at all its my final year in highschool and finals are coming up in  months my classmates have no problem studying at all and they make it look so easy they study for over  hours every single day but i cant do that i cant study for over  minutes without feeling anxious and sad because i cant understand anything i am staring at the wall for a long period of time while thinking about how sad i am and thinking about the future and stuff why cant i just study what is wrong with me,3.0
14181,ddlovato goodnight demetria god bless you  colombia wheiting for you        xd marce  buenas noches ,0.0
14182,penldn later you have to explain to me how to do an audio boo i promised cacaubrazil i would do one for my portuguese lessons ,0.0
14183,when nobody trusts in depressioner they just cant understand how a depressioner can be sad and feel bad every moment and why i need to take medicine to stop me from lying on my bed thinking i am of no valuejust scolding like  die if you want or thinking positively  too harderrrrrrrrr feeling really badstill hugs to all of you that read this shit,3.0
14184,so its a sunday smack bang in the middle of a long weekend and what am i doing working whats wrong with this picture  ,2.0
14185,oop  please dont fail me now ,2.0
14186,prayers and condolences to all those in torontoshooting  very sad that mental health is cause and others want it t ,1.0
14187,mmk fighting a cold that i got some how ,2.0
14188,jonathanrknight love to you from holland  good night ,0.0
14189,drmolliemarti  shes a really great twitterer actually very participatory ,0.0
14190,i havent felt this suicidal in months i just wish i could disappear and the fact that it isnt that easy and i will have to wake up tomorrow is a hard pill to swallowi just want to die i feel so worthless ugly disgusting and pathetic 😔,3.0
14191,galleysmith sighyes unfortunately it does  and i have no room for new books ,2.0
14192,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
14193,footy training tonight went well all prepped for semi finals tomorrow should be a good one ,0.0
14194,tbake crap i always forget you are on here ,2.0
14195,thanks to mercosuldigital geeee myblogginglog webdesygnr soundsleepmd funnydeos for the follow ,0.0
14196,montyrules oh  im not very good at this then  ltsobsgt ,2.0
14197, hope you have a fabulous wknd ,0.0
14198,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
14199,fulhamgagsy ochnot the result you hoped for today eh ,2.0
14200,roundtrip forgot to give an attribution to you for my cdcemergency follow recommendation so doing it personally via digest post ,0.0
14201,had the most amazing weekend and wishes it didnt have to come to an end  back to work ,2.0
14202,missed work and now terminated missed several times in the last month since i just didnt care refused to get out of bed to eat or do anything no called no showed work  wednesdays in a row manager knew what was going on and was understandable plant manager let me go this evening after missing work yesterday slippery slope as all i had to do was communicate and this wouldnt have happened in the moment of a rut nothing matters and even getting up to get your phone is to much work now i just lost a  per hour job and every other thought is on different ways to kill my self of course id never be able to actually go through with it so ill just continue to sit here in my car wallowing in self pity hoping something unfortunate happens  ,3.0
14203,sex on the beach cosmo kamikaze captain america ahhh fun night still not over ,0.0
14204,im not built for this modern worldits too complicated i know it may be a case of the grass is always greener on the other side thingbut after studying history is seems life may have been more of a struggle but at least it was a simple struggle not like this complicated mess of constant information overload gtlt,3.0
14205,bodylikemind we will ,0.0
14206,i think twitter just stopped on me ,2.0
14207,yay bowling for toshies bday lots of fun ,0.0
14208,i just had a really bad experiance with an overly strechy lacky band ,2.0
14209,marshallsheldon thankies  hm the link on my profile should actually work but here it should be ,0.0
14210,jackiepowell you are gonna be amazin jackie  just wait and see what gods gonna do through you    thanks for your servants heart  ,0.0
14211,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
14212,when harry met sallyi wish adam was here to watch it with me ,2.0
14213,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
14214,stefansbelle  is so annoying our makeshift defence behaved like makeshift i  injuries if we had a defense i think wed have won,2.0
14215,haha didnt win but who actually thought i could my hair looks hotter brushed out ,0.0
14216,hubieseswilcox this is the start of something special ,0.0
14217,camirose let me know where you decide to stay and feel better being sick in the summer sucks ,2.0
14218,do you ever feel sad bc you feel like you care about certain people and they dont really  care about you bc same,0.0
14219,peter everett and his double entendres brighten my day how sad ,2.0
14220,noooo  pinkeye is super contagious u need antibiotics or u can spread that hot pink eye through espn or not notadoctor ,0.0
14221,brrr this very cold ,2.0
14222,only  am and these new meds are making me jittery and feel slightly feverish again i wanna go back to bed ,2.0
14223,awake extra early for no reason amp i cant go back to sleep ,2.0
14224,just applied to be on the board for the mental health initiative 😎,0.0
14225,lookbacklabor your blog looks like a great resource looking forward to more posts ,0.0
14226,helenmt that would be sooo good im still sitting next to you right and we could also do the awards ,0.0
14227,iptib cant find tweetdeck in the appstore ,2.0
14228,i literally dont deal w fake people anymore i just block them instantly ive blocked my fake friends on instagram b httpstcosxicvgeqex,1.0
14229,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
14230,deancummings how come others ahve got sunshine and i havent ,2.0
14231,mavic front wheel   ,2.0
14232,jom haqymxy bkiey,0.0
14233,watching the nanny rip ray charles ,2.0
14234,fightstarmusic hey charlie happy bday i wish you all the best  enjoy your day get drunk get drunk get drunk haha,0.0
14235,quotunderstanding apple part   software is at the heart of it all as we saw in the quotpirates of silicone valleyquot film ,0.0
14236,spader  are you taking anything  are these allergies,2.0
14237,why cant i feel anything im  years old i feel as if im unable to be happy no matter wherewhenhow i try i am so terrified of growing up ive struggled with depression on and off in highschool i had three great years before i graduated now i feel like a lost little kid again but this time is different ik i have people i can talk to about it plz help need someone to tell me its gonna be ok,3.0
14238,somelificent it would be as if an imposter had a twitter ac  zq that said official twitter ac of zq anyway theyll drop the word ,0.0
14239,putting together a resume for an  job on weekends ,0.0
14240,ktbeeper happyloveschuck now both of u tell me to go to bed the circle is indeed complete ,0.0
14241,meanwhile im spending money on skin care products drinking gallons of water watching my diet and ill randomly w ,0.0
14242,  how did i know  it was gonna be jb ,0.0
14243,jacee just chose watching basketball with me over ice creammy princess ,0.0
14244,dang shes such a snack😍❤,1.0
14245,feels bad man hey i never really post on reddit just spend my time lurking have to say i love this subreddits communityi have nobody to tell and just wanted to get it out i was messing around on my guitar today and ended up learning probably the first song i ever learned on guitar  where is my mind by pixies  but learning it properly and playing along to the original track i was having fun except for that feeling that reminded me of my last relationship that ended after  years i could describe it as nostalgic and homey but i could also describe it as a feeling of despair i think about her alot so its normal what got to me was i just logged onto my spotify an hour later where i am following her and it shows on the side she was just active  ago and last song playes was where was my mind just feels sad sad facethanks for reading,3.0
14246,jenodjidja yeah we were working  whens the bday,2.0
14247,i love spaghetti and harry potter and laptops that bring the two together ,0.0
14248,tr sczepanski    thanks for the follow     i followed back  ,0.0
14249,checkin out  the new laptop keyboard feels weird   and davids album didnt chart here  i doubt hell come back now   update ,2.0
14250,i love a cold glass of pink lemonade ,0.0
14251,billyjoeeee im awesome    so what have you been up to,0.0
14252,how to balance a relationship with depression in the past every relationship ive had has turned into them trying to fix me so if i start to feel better they loose interest in me i wish i could just be single but when i am i feel so empty and alone there is a difference in getting a hug from a friend and getting a hug from someone you love i want to feel better and crave affection but i am afraid of getting into another relationship just to have it turn into someone trying to fix me,3.0
14253,nlsyt i hope he aimed for her head ,0.0
14254,nasa us na sis ko  learning how to be independent hahahaha hmmm sya nga ba lemme think some more,2.0
14255,a girl i dont know is cuddling with my dog   updates twitter is fun  a good friend is going with me on the harry potter premiere,0.0
14256,terryhoneycutt thnx for the correction ,0.0
14257,httpbitlywvztn  this sounds cool wheres the one for nikon though ,2.0
14258,i cant produce anything anymore i have a big expo coming up by the end of the year i need to make  paintings and  drawings for it to be acceptable but i cant do anythingall i do is lay down on my bed looking at my paintings on the wall and judging every single detail as i torture myself for not being good enough or that im a fake then my thoughts go to how im a failure in life how im failing at college and with my friends how much im a disappointment to everyone around me and that maybe i would be better off dead its all i think about from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to sleep and the past few weeks ive thought about suicide a lotive skipped classes on the past couple of weeks my participation in college has reached an all time low and i feel no energy whatsoever to work out all of those contribute to the self torture in my mind that im a failure that deserves poverty and should stop dreaming about being a painteranyway sorry for it being such a vent its just that ive been laying on my bed now for hours and i cannot bring myself to get up,3.0
14259,shout out to ev im a fiend  this is one of the hottest songs out right now hit me on twittttttaaaaaa  ♫ ,0.0
14260,rt fact  depression myths we need to stop believing ,1.0
14261,why does johnny cash singing hurt reduce me to a sobbing mess everytime i hear it ,2.0
14262,just dropped the kids off ,2.0
14263,you know what they do to guys like us in prison is such a fun song to play ,0.0
14264,up was definitely amazing totally cute ,0.0
14265,oheyzitlali samgolbach colbybrock samandcolby stooopppp im actually crying now i was sad before now im crying 😢,2.0
14266,jonaskevin haha i understand  oh gosh where is joe hope u reply me tomorrow ,2.0
14267,everything i loved left everything that stayed i stopped loving,3.0
14268,  출산 이제 끝 httpstcoozwnjlcmsm,2.0
14269,cheekynath  im using tweetdeck now too shame it cant update facebook at the same time like you can on the pc version ,2.0
14270,proibidoler katherined  thx appreciate you letting me know its not just me lol ,0.0
14271,trying to understand depression in a loved one are there any helpful videos or guides or things of that nature that i can use for help trying really hard to connect with a loved one and i want to understand depression on a higher level,3.0
14272,wayneswifti am cold turn the heater upplease ,0.0
14273,dang my dads computer is annoying his mobo just died it seems ,2.0
14274,hello rain we finally meet again ,0.0
14275,kennedymaine  youre really ridiculously good looking heeeeeey ,0.0
14276,its hard for me to talk about my feelings im an  female and find it hard to express my feelings other than happiness i feel like im just begging for attention if i do ive been bullied in school a lot to the point that i was considering suicidal yet i never talked about it then because i just feel like i couldntim not suicidal now but i still cant talk about much especially with my parents even though there some of the most loving people i know for this reason i just cant seem to get into a relationship with anyone because i cant be open,3.0
14277,sarahdoran   no problem  tis the thought that counts please to meet you incidentally ,0.0
14278, lol ive neva herd of it o just send me it ,0.0
14279,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
14280,i miss my boyfriend a lot ,2.0
14281,college success stories guys i could really use some inspirationstories to keep me going right now i recently started getting the help that i need regarding my mental health back in antidepressants last week but my mental health has definitely already taken a toll on my gradesim  and i just started college again this january after dropping out due to my mental health poor grades and not knowing what i wanted to do and i feel so shitty going back to school only to fail againi literally just walked away from my midterm with a  scoreon one hand part of me is optimistic in the fact that once my antidepressants continue to work and i keep seeing my therapist ill be in a better place and start excelling in school again but another part of me is wondering if ill ever be able to get my degree and make anything of myself with my conditionwhats your storytldr feeling pessimistichopeless about getting my degree after failing multiple times and in need of some inspiration to give me hope that one can obtain a degree and land a career despite suffering from depression ,3.0
14282,brandone thats pretty rad ,0.0
14283, good luck for your results geeza hope your pleasantly suprised ,0.0
14284,i want to live closer to hilsborough ,2.0
14285,elanaroth maybe you should read mine then ,0.0
14286,put a finger down put a finger down if youre depressed and anxious all the time but you feel like a burden to everyone around you so you dont want to talk about your issues to anyone including your therapist that you have to have because you were caught attempting suicide or anyone at all that might help because you feel like youre burdening them and bringing them down with you and you feel like you deserve to feel like shit alone because youre a piece of shit then you need to vent so you anonymously post things on social media about how much you hate yourself because you figure no one will see it anyway and if someone does maybe they can relate ✊ just put all my fingers down or whatever,3.0
14287,♫quotif im a crown without a king if im a broken open seedif i come without a thing then i have come with all i need quot♫ mewithoutyou ,0.0
14288,quotyou either fix it or you stand itquot learning to deal with the fact that nothing is ever perfect ,2.0
14289,is going to have a nice day with his sister ,0.0
14290,mgiraudofficial got ur text of course u leave the day before i get there booooo ,2.0
14291,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,1.0
14292, great work ,0.0
14293,just had a  and a half hour exam on statistics my head hurts now ,2.0
14294,cintaamonyet so the bitch finally gets twitter  welcome,0.0
14295,at home and recovering still cant believe i missed out on steve aoki at  at other night ,2.0
14296,rt subtextfantasy honestly bobs burgers cured my depression,1.0
14297,omg just over slept three hours  my alarm did not to off ,2.0
14298,sad face all my pictures are too big for twitter ,2.0
14299,iwantyourjeep whats the prob getting sleepy  should take some rest and chill in dreams ,0.0
14300,anyone get a warm feeling when thinking about how insignificant they are idk it seems nice to know no matter how bad i fuck up it doesnt matter,3.0
14301,missxmarisa please do growing up kinda sucks ever watch growing pains ,0.0
14302,watching the jobros live chat  not live though  haha,2.0
14303,is it clinical ,1.0
14304,rt  goodnight everyone get some rest and take good care my anxiety is off the charts check you tomorrow 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈,0.0
14305, oh thats a great list of kid stuff in paris  im bookmarking that for the next time we get across the pond,0.0
14306, i go out to hide from everyone my house is the first place theyd look ,0.0
14307,is off to work super early ,2.0
14308,to all new followers offering to sell sex or drugs im married amp i get my kicks from tea so i blocked you shame  so nearly at  ,0.0
14309,saw him again just wish i got introduced to him or something  but at least i saw him again lol cant wait to see him again,2.0
14310,oi tyson i love you ,0.0
14311,i was a sleep sleep now getting ready for the job ,2.0
14312,caldjr thanks see you tonight going to miss my graze box today  ill get it later,2.0
14313,if you are feeling alone tonight if you are feeling alone tonight you arenti struggled with depression for ten years as a teenager and young adult and i honestly never even imagined my life past twenty  i tried to end my life a few times and suffered some really horrible things at the hands of others  but a decade later i am here and i am thriving finding joy in lifei dont know what it is like to die but i have to assume it is worse to be someone left behind  when you are suffering from depression i know you cant really see this or understand this because you really believe you are useless garbage but you arent  you have value and other people wish that they could help you because they love you even if they dont understand  and even if you cant see itkeep trying everything  take your treatment seriously and try everything and dont give up hope  even if it feels like nothing is working it doesnt mean there isnt something that will  hold onyou are strongyou are loved,3.0
14314,one of the hardest things about depression is not being able to pinpoint the sourcefor me at times anyways i am  years old diagnosed with depression from a young age as well as generalized anxiety disorder i have dealt with many things in my life and my mom is getting ready to go in for brain surgery in the next couple of months i am a university student currently studying psychology because i wanted to help understand why i am the way i am what i have learned is that depression operates on a multifaceted system some daysperiods are easier and then all of a sudden you fall back down the black hole trying to grasp onto anything there could be many reasons for why youre depressed so many in fact that you cant pinpoint which is making you feel the worsthaving dealt with depression for so long i thought it would get easier it doesnt get easier you just become more equipped with different skills that you put into action when you need to trust me when i say i know how hard it is to get out of bed and go to work or go to a class today i missed a class because i couldnt bring myself to get up but instead of focusing on the fact i couldnt get up today i focus on what i need to do tomorrow keeping a routine is important even if you dont want to i force myself to go to the gym and eat properly because i know its worth the feeling afterwards to all of you out there struggling to get up dont focus on what you didnt do today focus on what you need to do tomorrow one small thing is all it takes to get the ball rolling if i can do it you can too ,3.0
14315,thanks kaapstorm for that last one ,0.0
14316,sigh everybody sleepin cadena lonley  well borimischief is awake but he is not tweetin so yeah lonely lil latin girl p,2.0
14317,i have a blister on my hand from opening a waterbottle and it hurts ,2.0
14318,ready to let go i dont know what to expect posting this here i just felt i had to let this out been struggling with depression and anxiety my whole life abusive household growing up followed by a long abusive relationship that left me devastated and broken gathered the courage to leave and drive across the country to start over with nothing  years ago been a struggle to keep my head above water every day tried to stay positive and keep fighting working multiple jobs trying to save  but riddled with debt and bad credit after leaving my abusive ex i have friends that i know love me but no solid family support i dont feel i can talk to anyone about this no one can help me right now feb  ill be homeless tired of being a burden to people feel ive fought long and hard and havent been able to get myself together i think the best thing at this point would be to end it and put myself and others out of misery so tired of being lonely and the struggle every day,3.0
14319,kaiser  antioch anyone have advice with kaiser antioch behavioral program need after care and looking for direction completed santa clara ,3.0
14320,kuyachickboy jerk its not that funny ,2.0
14321,feeling sorry for myself this morning had  a blast last night though  thanks rowan and duncan  going to miss you ,2.0
14322,carlalynnehall im having fun with my day i might even go out for a bit and brave the heat ,0.0
14323,the red wings are dominating ,0.0
14324,i am nothing no one can save me now im ruined im dirty im used everyone in my life made sure of that,3.0
14325,rt littlestartae they even know when and where he went to the funeralsomeone legit just stalked himthats just sad,0.0
14326,polyorpheus i agree ,0.0
14327,modelmonae why whats wrong  dont cry pretty girls shouldnt cry,2.0
14328,feeling very suicidal i think its my time to go my boyfriend and i arent doing well weve been on a break for a week and a half and i caved and i had to see him we talked and he said he still needs time to figure out whats best for him hes breaking my heart every single day hes my best friend weve been together for two and a half years why is he hurting me like this my parents just make me feel guilty about this situation they say that hes just immature and that theres someone better out there for me but they dont realize that i dont want anyone else i want my boyfriend but i guess he doesnt want me and now my parents dont even want my boyfriend around i dont understand why the fuck im the one having to deal with all of this i guess im just supposed to wait for him to tell me his decision i cant take this anymore i did all i could for him and its not enough hes my best friend in the world how am i supposed to be with anyone else i dont want to live anymore i really cant take this heart break anymore i just want to die ,3.0
14329,gym then who knows no zoo  damn weather,2.0
14330,pattymlt i miss you already  im working friday not saturday though ,2.0
14331,just got this death wish back today i have been back and forth depressed for over two years now i just hate my life i am pretty successful but it doesnt help i dont see the point in living anymore i will never be happy i have been bullied by my brother through my teenage years and that has led to me being very insecure i never do something i think is funny partly because i dont really have any friends and my time is very limited due to my proffesion i have told my parentsim currently  and i have been to psychologist but it have not helped i also take depression medicine ssri i think but i dont really feel better but my parents think it will solve it all i think there is someone wrong with me and i will never be satisfied with my life so why should i live its better if i just kill my self,3.0
14332,tamih im sorry  that sounds very painful,2.0
14333,kimkardashian im sad too   im definitely going to buy the season tho,2.0
14334,wossy finally hugh laurie is on the show ,0.0
14335,not wanting to take the little trip today by myself ,2.0
14336,rt magischerita anjamekenkamp het gaat al heel erg lang niet meer over wat ik wil bereiken alleen maar hoe overleef ik verder kom ik,2.0
14337,newfoundthomas well i loved twitter anyways ,0.0
14338,pinkberrygirl ive only tried twitterberry and i dont like it that much i should prolly try socialscope  and yes i love desserts ,0.0
14339,waiting for vanessa to come over  movie time  you gotta love life but im still not living it to its fullest ,0.0
14340,has revived his blog and is happy  now onto revision,0.0
14341,must have some ice cream before bed and common sense says that giving into temptation also stops temptation next stop mcdonalds ,0.0
14342,sitting at dairy queen eating an ice cream txtin my friend deb bout going  her house wednesday  a few days so we can hang out lol ,0.0
14343,ayudevina oh thats cool i saw it and liked it a lot  im doing a number of camps and then going to disneyland,0.0
14344,cameronpack the guy complaing in the bbc story here gt  ,0.0
14345,boy it was cold riding home last night ,0.0
14346,sigh made the mistake of stopping at end of sequence on fri  having trouble picking up where to go next   bad girl always stop mid,2.0
14347,being hate hate hated on  its sad really  ,2.0
14348,glennbeck  how fahrenheit   lets hope it never comes to that  will people wake up only when there are gov controls over ipods,0.0
14349,i have a plan for tomorrow morning i will drive to work  i work with electricity  i will  pretend to fix a machine i will isolate the ground i stand on wet my temples and hold to cables against them so thats my plan for tomorrow wish me luck i dont want to survive and cause a drama it should seem like an accident,3.0
14350,i am so so so so so bored of studying ,2.0
14351,another gloomy day ,2.0
14352, the california court of appeal  starts at   ,0.0
14353,trying to study a thing or two ,0.0
14354,its raining today   i still want to see transformers  but i doubt my friends will even go ,2.0
14355,im tired of being everyones problem all ive ever been is a burden ill all ever be is someone people feel sorry for ill never be loved even when i feel like im learning to love myself reality knocks sense back into me because i should know better ive never been worth it no one has ever truly cared for me and i dont have the energy to try anymore it never leaves no matter what i do no matter what help i get or how much i try im done i cant wait to waste away,3.0
14356, please support electrik red and sign these   thanks ,0.0
14357,i dont want kids because i dont want to abandon them if i kill myself im in a serious longterm relationship im in love with my fiancé and would want nothing more than to have a family with him he wants children one day too but not only am i completely petrified of being a mother the normal feelings i am also afraid of experiencing depression after having children and abandoning them by suicide i see videos of mothers playing with their babies and it makes my heart hurt because i dont think i will ever get to experience that type of joy and bonding i dont have much of a maternal instinct but i do feel somewhat of a longing for that connection i guess i dont know the point of this post i dont need advice necessarily i just needed a place to put this in writing thanks to anyone who reads it ,3.0
14358,infact not goodsex fucking amazingsex   ,0.0
14359,slnx i know lol im picking it up soon i cant wait ,0.0
14360, you too honey thanks although my day is like any other day except for the flowers     ,2.0
14361,can someone relate im a mess lately and im questionig my relationship bc im afraid i will become a burden to my bf his ex was depressed and would push him away she had highs and lows and he just couldnt take it anymore im scared it will happen to us im not nearly as bad as her mentally but i am struggling i have been keeping things under control via antidepressants rn i am pretty much winging it and trying to seem happy but i know im not okay i didnt shower for days i binge eat and im sleeping away my issues god this is so messed up what do i do,3.0
14362,oofitsryan i havent gotten it yet  maybe a quick file transfer haha congrats on running fast too,2.0
14363,hollybooch i already miss you ,2.0
14364,my little brother reminds me of jackalltimelow i love him ,0.0
14365,thinking about what to eat and later on write my weblog for radio show the hague jazz ,0.0
14366, hello i got chopped by chris for the ball hhahaahahah ,2.0
14367,lunch   with a nice view   ,0.0
14368,struggling just to live ive been struggling with depression and anxiety since i was young recently going through a nursing program and a  year relationship has brought my depression and anxiety to an all time high i come from an asian family so i struggled to hide my feelings for so long ive recently admitted to my boyfriend that i was really struggling im not actively suicidal but do wish that i wasnt living everyday because it is honestly so painful ive finally reached out to a therapist as well these two were huge steps for me and i have felt a little relieved but after a few days of confessing to my boyfriend ive develop this thought that i have just placed a burden on him now im sitting here regretting so bad that i wish i had never told him even though he says hes here for me he could never understand what and how i really feel i feel like im never good enough for anyone or anything im always hesitant to trust anything good going on in my life because of the possibility of being more hurt idk how to truly love myself or be happy because ive been feeling this way for a long time,3.0
14369, oh cool thanks ,0.0
14370,could go a milkshake ,0.0
14371,why should i keep taking my ssri meds ive been on  ciprlex for  months now or so and i want to stop taking them because i have been feeling a lot better recently and on good tracks i was never severely depressed just really down at one point and im starting to feel like i dont need it anymore as i feel im in a decent position and i have my add under control now which i just found out about under  months ago im  and i feel like all those years with undiagnosed add has lead me to being very anxious and depressed some days but now that im on my vyvanse  i feel like things are starting to be better and the  cipralex isnt doing much anymore im going to talk to my doctor about stopping my medication but my gf freaked out on me and said she thinks its a bad idea and all this because her ssris help her so much but she doesnt understand my point of view should i talk to my doctor about it or just do what my gf says she will be present with me during the dr appointment im pretty lost here as i feel like im going to be forced to take my ssris when i really dont want to take them ive found other ways to cope,3.0
14372,want to go london  havent been there in  years but i really want to go there again sometime,2.0
14373,i miss youu guyss ,2.0
14374,rt creaturecharlie ur mcm is cute but in an ugly way and uses memes and irony to hide his burdening depression from everyone its me i,2.0
14375,skeezoyd just kidding  make yourson seeps please,0.0
14376,roryjagdeo hey its kind of singersongwriter pop rock ish you can listen to a bunch of it for free at wwwtaraleighcobblecom thanks ,0.0
14377,expressivemsr goodie good  u neway have a lot of talent girl ,0.0
14378,i dont feel very good today ,2.0
14379,wah i give up why does it never work ,2.0
14380,cant wait to catch a good movie tml with umbles amp other guides woohoo ,0.0
14381,rt marshawright live more complain less more smiles less stress less hate more blessed  david roads quote,2.0
14382,how can i stop pushing people away it seems the only thing im good at is pushing people away i can never maintain the positive relationships in my life i cant even hold a fucking conversation over text even with my favorite people in the world i get too in my head and end up writing and rewriting and end up just not replying then i feel so alone and want to reach out to people but i know i wouldnt be able to keep up the conversation i know that if i told friendsfamily what im going through and asked them for help and support they would be more than willing to help me but i dont want to put it on them because they are dealing with their own shit but at the same time im really struggling and i dont know how much longer i can continue by myself sorry this came off a lot more ranty than i intended p,3.0
14383, you need to look at the man in the mirror homie maybe if you werent out here belittling your own rac httpstcontoakftbgk,2.0
14384,okay yeah im in one of those places again just wanted to make this post to vent i know im getting in a depressed place again and thats okay 🙂 ive still been able to take care of my responsibilities i go to work and hit the gym ive just noticed that past few weeks that outside of those two responsibilities i feel like an absolute burden to the world no presence a lot of loneliness i have been staying away from my friends i havent felt like hanging out ive just been wanting to go to my bed but maybe this is a time for a shift im going to call my counselor today and set up more frequent appointments to have some guidance to get me out of this rut ,3.0
14385,gahhh i have nothing to wear for the big day tmrw ,2.0
14386,slept well last two nights baby only woke for  feeds in the middle of night tho i still woke a few times anticipating bbs waking ,2.0
14387,aghhhh i dont feel so good  feel like i gotta burfoo,2.0
14388,getoffmynarts oooohh lmao i know then did it again smh ,2.0
14389,depression creeping up on mei cant seem to help it this time ive always been proud of how functioning i am despite my enormous struggles with depression i have tools friends and a support network that i go to whenever things are getting overwhelming this time however things dont seem to be working the depressive thoughts started creeping up on me about  weeks ago ive been responding to this like i regularly do but its not working the thoughts take over the sadness seems like it cant be helped i cant stop crying few things feel like they matter a number of things have changed in the past few months last fall i started a phd program and my so started a full time job that requires a lot of extra hours of our time together not seeing him is probably what has made all of this worse for me were also in a new city where i havent found a therapist yet its been a long and difficult search im really tired of feeling sad i wish i could feel differently i wish i could just shake this off i wish i could not think about it and focus on my job and classes but i cant im out of strength ,3.0
14390,petewentz hope you had a blast yesterdamn ,0.0
14391,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
14392,gracebenguerel awww  sick on the weekend typical,2.0
14393,thanks to everyone who stopped by dbtporg tonight to chat    fantastic set dmb,0.0
14394,goodbye feelings you know what fuck out of my face you dumb piece of shit called feelings i am numb most of the time but once i feel it absolutely torments me stay away never come back you are a burden make everything bad my head is so sick so fucked up i will get rid of you until i have gotten over myself,3.0
14395,i quit cutting my self i managed to quit cutting my self with the help of me girlfriend and friends they are still helping me not go back to doing it again,3.0
14396,waaah our su shop is closed for the afternoon no sugar for me ,2.0
14397,cummon chelsea everton are pissing me off first time in my life when ive actually wanted chelsea to win ,0.0
14398,no  its official jon amp kate are getting a divorce ,2.0
14399,britans got talent was good  now im writing my english  boo hoo,2.0
14400,picked up some uber cute kiddie stuff for my big weekend of babysitting my niece of course i overdid it ,0.0
14401,realtopsykrets  johnfugelsang realtopsykrets stolenvalor  prob just another zimmerman fanboy sad,0.0
14402, portland  portland  portland  ,0.0
14403,tea  fix my voice amp my mood please ,2.0
14404, you attacked me so i got noodlescape to attack you ,0.0
14405,ok im getting sleepy already  hours of road ahead of me ,2.0
14406,seeunextweek yeahthe quothikequotthingy ,0.0
14407,i hate how the loneliness is a catch  im soul crushing lonely but the only way to get out of the rut is to put yourself out therei cant put myself out there ive been hurt by so many people and the anxiety and fear is so real it feels so bad to be in this holeits worse knowing im gonna stay in this hole unless i am able to get past it i need the fuel to get myself better but i cant get the fuel without being better,3.0
14408,this past year has pushed me to my breaking point ive struggled with depression knowingly for  years now it got a lot better for a while but recently its back worse than i remember before to summarize in the past  months i moved across the country once dropped out of college got into a committed relationship got pregnant had a miscarriage of said pregnancy recently moved back across the country found out my boyfriend was cheating and now im here i feel like a failure for having to move back in with my parents because i cant keep a job due to my mental health i am in therapy but when i try to talk about this out loud i cant so i end up resorting to im all fine when im not whenever i actually tried to talk to my boyfriend about how im getting worse he said idk what to say thats on you ive tried to post in here for a while now but always end up deleting and not posting it i eat maybe once a day i come out of my bedroom once a day to eat ive been having panic attacks everything ive lost  pounds in the past  weeks i shut myself off from family friends everyone i stopped my hobbies i just sit here i dont have anyone to go to i need help but when people try and help i get irritated and push them away,3.0
14409,imoath تمام تمام لاني الحين واصل حلقة  من السيزن الثاني واذا �ضيت بكرة ان شاء الله مريتك وعطيتك باقي الحلقات ,0.0
14410,mmontz i am hahaha misssed this looooads yeah we are being beaten badly  e nao sei porque estou a escrever em ingles lol xd eu nem,2.0
14411,about dying and ending it all i now understand what they meant when they said depressed people dont want to kill themselves they want the pain to be over with i saw that somewhere in the internet not verbatim but you get the gist and yeah i didnt really want to die i guess i just want the nonessential things to go away i think maybe if i could stop feeling maybe i can be in a better place i ask myself everyday what is the purpose of this existence me why do i specifically have to be alive im a useless lazy piece of meat that can do all the things a normal person can do the only difference is that im a goodfornothing sloth who fails to make better judgments and decisions in lifeim just me ive always felt that there are lives more important than mine because they have done good things maybe not grand savingtheworldbeforebedtime things but those that produce success and happiness and contentmentthere are many times i try to comprehend the meaning of my life the grand scheme of things take away work from me and i got nothing on me all the bull they say about well you have family people who love you friends who care i know theyre great i love them too but i feel they wouldnt understand me because they cant feel what i feel about myself it just doesnt make me feel better anymoreim someone who feels bad when other people get disappointed because of me im also the same person who doesnt want to care anymore what happens tomorrow i dont want to have to deal with the repercussions of my inability to be a logical person doing everything that needs to be done in the name of productivity and purposeso when i say i want to die it doesnt mean i want my heart to stop beating it means i want to be free of this pain and of this inability to fight the things in my head thats preventing me to be a better person does that make sense,3.0
14412,helenmikemark yes maam ,2.0
14413,i just had two people stop following me ,2.0
14414,hisfoodblog also found httpwwweatingwacomau if can get the vip card thr is  discounts on toprated restaurants ,0.0
14415,rt healthylivingo how to make lavender lemonade to get rid of headaches amp anxiety httpstcoinofaraqpd,1.0
14416,should i see a doctor im  years old ive had quite a few experiences with depression in the past and ive never seen a doctor about it i personally think i have bipolar depression after looking up information online and comparing it back to me and some family history with itit started when i was quite young around the age of  and originally lasted for about  years after getting into high school i decided to turn over a new leaf and change my outlook on things and slowly i started to feel less depressed for the next year or so during this time i was very happy i made a ton of new friends and i honestly felt like i belonged however i began to fall back into a depression but this time it was only  months and was not nearly as severe as before since then i have had multiple depressive phases these periods of happy and sad fluctuated in length and severity and now im pretty used to it and have been dealing with it a lot more easily im wondering if its worth it to seek out a doctor as ive been able to deal with myself for a long time now in fact i would rather not seek a doctor as im quite proud of the fact that ive been able to get by on my own i am just worried because i havent had a period of depression thats been long as the first on top of that i have grown up and found myself during this time if i were to start getting treated im worried that i might change as a person there of course times where i hate myself and feel worthless to those around me but im happy and proud of who i have become i wanted to hear from others who dont know me and have an unbiased opinionlast thing before i go im in a good place right now mentally if i would see a doctor would it be better to wait until i begin to feel depressed again or if i should do it now,3.0
14417,lwcavallucci ill take kiddog traffic over car traffic any day ,0.0
14418,franceshigoy health and fitness ,0.0
14419,hobby suggestions to help cope i start another semester of college tomorrow and my previous ones have been pretty hard on me this semester i have a few days a week where i dont have any classes and so im looking for suggestions on how i can occupy my time rather than staying in bed for prolonged periods that being said i dont make a whole lot of money and have loans to pay off so i need things that are inexpensive preferably free even but still fun or rewarding all suggestions are appreciated though thank you ,3.0
14420,michaelgriffin tell me about it ,2.0
14421,helloimjustin dude i sent you a message rreeeaaddd it ,0.0
14422,tcballew good  you need to listen to how you love me now and  months theyre really good candles is deff my favorite  months is ,0.0
14423,its my birthday and i just want it to be over i dont think i have real friends,3.0
14424,just came up with the ultimate stress reliever,1.0
14425,drama club  it was a busy week ,0.0
14426,i might be onto something ever since i can remember i was bullied in some way or form i was always that kid that everyone viewed as an easy target because i never fought back throughout my whole life up until college i was bullied by people now that im in college im more or less free from other people bullying me but i still hate myself a lot maybe i hate myself because im so used to being bullied that it feels wrong not being bullied thats kind of a scary thought nah thats dumb aw fuck it,3.0
14427,argh there should be some website that i can order chinese food from in frome i cant think of anything except chow mein amp peking beef ,2.0
14428,pakis cruising to victory ,2.0
14429,i feel like i wont be on this earth much longer its not that im suicidal or have suicidal tendencies i just truly feel like i dont have much longer to live like i said im not suicidal but i feel like im not afraid of death i also dont care what happens to me i dont care if i get hurt i dont care about my mental health and i dont care if i wreck or anything like that i also dont wear my seatbelt ever i just im not sure if i need help or not and i think i do im just scared of what i find out my family has a history of alcoholism and depression and some cancer i just need someone to talk to thats all,3.0
14430,i tried  i failed ,2.0
14431,such a fun evening round  tomorrow night night  catchin up on my zzzzs,0.0
14432, theyre called silly slammers lol i googled but nobody has them anyways ,2.0
14433,is oversleeping sign of depression the question may sound stupid i know but i wanna understand if im just lazy and bored or is this is a sign of some form of depressioni sleep usually  hours and i really struggle to get up in the morning even when i sleep that much i feel sleepy and tired all dayalso when i got nothing to do for the eveningnight like going out with friends i cant wait to go to sleep cause it allows me to skip to the next day like right now its  pm and i already wanna go to sleep cause i know im not gonna hang out tonight and i dont know what else to doi already took my meds im under treatment for insomnia anxiety and maybe some bipolar disorder to help me go to sleepanyone in the same situation or with some answers to thisyeah i know i could answer my psychiatrist but next appointment is in two weeks and i never have the courage to ask him,3.0
14434,goakeys eliminated  although i love adam i think he should be the one going home instead  since hes already established and all,2.0
14435,mandyyjirouxx   cool  love them ,0.0
14436,luau party tonight ,0.0
14437,marlycat woman follow me ,0.0
14438,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
14439,rt lilireinhart your mental health should be your priority dont forget that this is your life and youve only got one so dont wast,2.0
14440,deliciousdish its a breakfast for championsthat like to nap afterwards  ,0.0
14441,i wanna learn how to be lonely hi guys any advice on how to learn to accept loneliness  ive finally came to terms with the fact that most of my friendships are onesided im giving up on that now im tired of going after people again and again only to be dismissed in a condescending way i feel like shit its like im not able to hold onto any friendship and i keep trying and trying i hope that things will change that ill make new friends its not that easy but i guess i should try anyway im just really tired ,3.0
14442,seoulbeats romance zero is funny ,0.0
14443, red lobster and eat for me im sad ,2.0
14444,elizabethkle i like that quotation so true miss you housie hope youre doing well ,0.0
14445,lazing around on a saturday watching hannah montana ,0.0
14446,going back downhill ive been doing well for a while i havent felt the crippling depression that used to haunt me for a while im not going too deep but slowly dipping my toe in these emotions of emptiness and sadness i just feel like im floating with no motivation to swim i dont complain or try to let is show knowing people have it worse than me ie the rest of the entries so im not fussed about any replies or help i like knowing that i got this off my chest anyway i just feel lonely ive always felt like an outcast most of my life ive never fit into certain cliques from my own feelings i always felt like an outsider just shy of being someone important enough with constant interaction with people but someone who nice to talk to from time to time with something relating to my interests this just fuels the loneliness and just makes me feel as if i can be replaced or havent had a substantial impact on someones life that i have left a lasting imprint upon it ive been proven i do matter but someday i feel the contrary the loneliness worsen due to my need for human contact this is slightly idiotic especially due to my habit to avoid it with my knowledge of that i would hold on and probably not let go i just feel awkward seeking a hug or getting one with the knowledge of knowing how much it could just calm me hearing my friend who are relationship adds on to the feeling as i just miss the idea of having one hearing the news of them with girls just makes me question things and ponder the negative decision i have made in my life for myself to be in a situation to hate the person i see in the mirror i dont know to be perfectly honest what i would like im might be too scared for love and too broken from previous ventures i dont want an empty sex knowing it would probably make me feel lonely i dont want to complainbut i just want to feel a sense of happiness again without the fear of this sadness creeping back into my life i know that is most likely impossible to happen but i can hope right,3.0
14447,what do you do with the lack of will to get out of bed symptom this is becoming extremely disruptive at a terrible time depression is secondary to other mental health problems so im illequipped at handling depressive symptoms my history is with generalized anxiety disorder ocd panic disorder and hypochondriasis im in a relapse right now and scrambling to recover my cbt this gives me situationalsecondary depression which i generally never have on its own im a graduate student finishing my dissertation i teach a class two days a week at the university with the exception of those two days i can choose my hours without accountability however i dont really have unlimited time i need to write my dissertation apply for jobs and lesson plan during sensible hours considering my wifes work schedule and sons daycare schedule ideally i wake up in the morning go to my office write meet with students come home be a husband and dad write a little at night selfcare bed repeatbut lately if i do not have to be somewhere i will not get out of bed i wake up feeling miserable with absolutely no drive i feel sorry for myself and not being conscious is way way too appealing i then finally can longer sleep force myself out of bed then feel even worse about the valuable productivity time i wasted i then have trouble sleeping the following night and am tired the next day which is often a teaching day those days i have little problem getting out of bed even if im exhausted thankfullyi know this is a very common symptom what do people do about it,3.0
14448,so my dog is dripping massive amounts of drool from one side of the house to the other im so gonna slip in it ,0.0
14449,carlarose just keep writing those great tips ,0.0
14450,liked carson liked leno never cared for conan oh well it really is the end of an era on the tonight show  ,2.0
14451,i hate my life and i want to die the only thing i want is taken away from me and now im empty there is no reason to go on anymoredoes anyone have good recommendations for how to kill yourself thanks,3.0
14452,google pr update done  may my page pr update  to   httpwwwidmircom ,0.0
14453,frankiero hey that cherrycokeless rock is big enough to include most of canada   we never get the good spinoff flavours it sucks,2.0
14454,marissac ah yeah i havent really done much torrenting or filesharing of music lately just swapping files with friends amazons nice ,0.0
14455,maialp woohwooh what color ,0.0
14456,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
14457,myweakness my ex girlfriend ,2.0
14458,i want to fight but im afraid to psa i apologise for my spelling and grammar im on my phone at work and i have ogre thumbsive been depressed for  or  years but in  i had a major mental breakdown i am still in therapy for it and have suffered a major case of fast onset ocd i was so anxious that i dealt with major derealisation for an entire year this is still very fresh and has left me with many emotional scars strained my relationship distanced me from everything i once cared passionatey for i hate to sound cliche but i reall do feel like a shelli have however always had a stubborn angry nature and there is a part of me that is applying the you cant tell me what to do you son of a bitch to my current situation i dont feel passionate about what i did before i lost it but part of me is screaming do it anyway and watch your mental illness squirm and weep at your refusal to give in fuck the odds good or bad i want to go with this sentiment but i feel fake when i try i feel like im living a lie when i do but if i dont i have nothing nothing of me left just a sad scared tired shelli hope that makes sense  anyone have some words of wisdomtldr my mental health has annihilated my passions interests and relationships i want to push through in spite of it and still at least try to be me i know i can but i dont want to feel like a fraud or like im kidding myself im very confused and that probably comes across,3.0
14459,thecalebbond thetiser the is already a wsr ppl coukd engage with caleb those on the street unemployed hungry g ,1.0
14460,the majority has voted for luck by chance  ok  lbc it is thnx ,0.0
14461,im sad but i smile thats my life,1.0
14462,faith is quotbeing sure of what we hope for ampcertain of what we do not seequot hope always brings lifeso exchange lost expectation for hope ,0.0
14463,cant go through the days some backround story bout meim a  yr old male and i had a psychotic episode on novemberbefore the episode i used to enjoy going out with my  going to the gym messing up with girlsi had a normal life you could say exept that i dont study something or have a job so rather than that i would stay homedepression was something i would have never imaginedi was happy with my life even though i should have gotten a job etcbutafter the episode i lost the meaning of life thats what i said to my psychiatristi slowly started going out less i go out only  times a week from   i used to  times a day its like i dont connect anymore with my friends when i go out we talked for hours now i just sit and stare saying a word or twomy time alone now has been increased but i used to enjoy that as well i could play a video game browse youtube or smth and time would flynow everything is pointless i cant browse youtube nor play a video game cause it feels pointlessso i say all that to my doc and boom diagnosed with depression not on meds yetid like to know if meds will change that feeling of having nothing to do and give me enjoyment in things i used to enjoyall i do now is sleep  hours a day and then just chain smoke the dday away maybe listening few songs and browsing reddit to see if someone is going through the same shittldrwill the meds help getting my enjoyment in the thing i used to enjoy before the episodecan anyone relate to what im going throughi just wanna sleep and never wake up life is pointless nowi cant believe im in this placei never though that depression is like that so dark its roughthank you if you read the whole thing have a good day ,3.0
14464,jeremydjohnson were working on that ,0.0
14465,been facing the com for the past  hours i hate packing parcels ,2.0
14466,still working in the database and trying to decide what i want to eat  ,2.0
14467,dumped by my longterm partner its been a yearand i still want to die please help ill listen to anything anyone has to say sorry very long posti was dumped by my first and only girlfriend a year and a bit ago i suffer from severe depression she met me on a depression help newsgroup  or so years ago i live in canada she in england we emailed then called each other then started living together we were living together in england for  years around the end of  she gave me an ultimatum get help so i can be a full partner in the relationship or leavei have a history of running awayavoidinggiving up when faced with a tough choice even though she said if i didnt try to get help and left we were through and shed not take me back i didnt process it maybe i didnt believe it id had bad episodes where i went back to canada beforeshe was taking care of me most of the time it was a very very codependent thing with her enabling my dependent behavior i understand why she had to get rid of me because the situation was making her miserable i was unhappy too i hated living in the uk i hated the people i hated my job my depression wasnt being controlled very wellso in may last year i came back to canada she said she still cared and wanted to be friends she eventually started filtering my emails so they didnt show up in her main inbox and now i thing that shes blocked me totally i have been miserable since i got back  years is a long time to be away the city i live in has changed gotten bigger and harder to find my way in my family and friends have all changed so much that i have a hard time relating to them i am for the first time i can remember totally alonei have had a huge upset that has had me taken to hospital twice in the last  days i found my exs instagram account it had pictures of her on dates i think they were date selfies i dont know she wont communicate with me and rightfully she wont tell me if she is dating againi guess what i want to know is how can i get through this ive been crying most days since i got home but now its so bad that i find myself throwing up unable to think and a danger to myself all i can think of is my ex driving in the car i bought to the house we bought in the bed we bought wearing the lingerie i bought her having sex with some other guy and i cant take it i think about killing myself multiple times a day when i go to the hospital they say i have dependency issues and ive not properly grieved the loss of the relationship how do i do that i cant even stay clean wear clean clothes i havent cut my hair in more than a year and a half i havent brushed my teeth in months i cant live like this i cant see how to move onmy ex i think had been preparing for this for months maybe a year before she told me shes much further along than i am from the limited information i have i mean i cant even think of dating yet shes with some guyi want her to at least tell me how she did it i dont want to accept that its over i still love her as much as i ever had but shes made it clear im out of chances its over for her for good i dont know if i can live with it live like this im calling counselors and therapists tomorrow but i was in counseling not long after i got back and it didnt seem to do anythingid really like some advice please im at the end of my rope,3.0
14468,shellybedsaul i have faith in you  caititastic,0.0
14469,rt vallllentine friendly reminder that you have no obligation to any family members or friends that are toxic to your mental or physical,0.0
14470,its sad girl hours amp i cant sleep ,2.0
14471,depression is ruining my chances at a future idk if im asking for help as much as im unloading because this is eating away at me and i dont know where else to put it i just dont give a shit about myself anymore and no one else does i dont live an awful terrible life im just kind of an awful terrible person im socially inept and it makes me an asshole to my friends no matter how hard i try and i always feel awful about it afterwards i cant even do basic tasks like brush my teeth or take showers or clean my face or do homework i just cant bring myself to even things i enjoy like writing or singing or drawing i cant do it anymore i spend all my time in bed wasting away and wishing i was deadi dont give a shit about my body anymore i go in between eating less than  calories a day for days on end to binging insanely and then making myself throw it back up and everything i do eat is pure unadulterated shit like protein bars or candy and chips im hoping one day ill just pass out or have a fucking heart attack so they can ship me off to a hospital or something and then people will stop having to worry about me and ill stop having to worry about themas far as school and taking care of myself the shit of it all is that i know i have academic potential and whatever i just dont know what the hell to do with it im smart as hell but my grades are shit because i waste all the time im supposed to be doing homework thinking about how i want to kill myself or working or writing reddit posts about how i want to kill myself so like hell if ill ever get into an affordable decent college its not like im even diagnosed with anything so i dont even have a valid excuse for why everything about me is so fucking shitty other than im a lazy bitchi just want to die i dont know why i dont have a reason to be depressed im just weak ive been running in circles my whole fucking life about wanting to kill myself and i dont think ill ever collapse i think im just damned to mourn over nothing for the rest of my life until someone a little more brave than me decides to put a fucking bullet in my head,3.0
14472,i failed my finals just found out i failed my physics final leaving me with a d in the class i get criticised for not trying hard enough in life by my parents being told i should get a job focus for my sat keep my grades up and get some hobbies the things they want are so basic but i feel like they want too much from me when i try and do something they say its not enough the only thing they have done is made me more depressed and unmotivated they always compare me to their friends kids saying they are so much better and are going to be way more successful than me ive been so stressed lately and i dont know what to do i am literally getting grey hair in my head i think im only  and i still got time but they make me think otherwise this has caused me to start using nicotine to clear my mind and now i get angered very easily i have absolutely no friends and no hobbies no support or love from anyone i fear the future and suicide seems like a good option life just doesnt seem worth it,3.0
14473,rt lmao me i think i kinda i dont know but i think im finally happymy depression immediately ,1.0
14474,i have a cold   normally i would call it the manflu but im reluctant to say the dreaded fword now,2.0
14475,lowkeyriez oh okkk thats cool ,0.0
14476,disappointing day attended a car boot sale to raise some funds for the sanctuary made a total of  after the entry fee  sigh ,2.0
14477,monkeysmash hes my only scifi author who hasnt lost sight of the future  stephenson gibson rucker  ,2.0
14478,not prepared presentation ,2.0
14479,i hate to be one of those people to talk shit but ive always  strongly disliked  this pathetic talentless sad a ,2.0
14480,are these happy pills any good im having serious thoughts of killing myself and have serious depression that ive been hiding for the past  years i was wondering if all those happy pills are any good i feel bad about needing them though its like have i really hit such a low point that i need medicine just to be happy,3.0
14481,aknotofemma see we shall ,0.0
14482,i cant find my camera ,2.0
14483,alphex  of   percentile guess you would have figured that ,0.0
14484,artnews well put it this way i am not standing in front of your pyre with a torch ,0.0
14485,in a really dark place  prescription question ive hit a really dark place on life depression is something ive always suffered with but over the past few months its gotten bad to the point of constant suicidal thoughts therapy isnt helping i tried wellbutrin and it almost made things worse the only thing that ever did seem to help is moderate doses of opiates or low doses of suboxone at this point i need the pain to stop its really that simple can a doctor prescribe an opiate or suboxone for depression if so how do i go about doing that my head literally hurts from the mental torment im going through constantly ,3.0
14486, blood vessel damage tied to depression among older adults,2.0
14487,supermacka no  i really want rain uu the tv lie us ,2.0
14488,mandi is leaving for dc tomorrow ,2.0
14489,miissmercedes yea man ive seen alotttt of fakes get exposed on here lol its sad  lol,2.0
14490,senatorisakson senalexander senbobcorker please do your constituents a favor and get your hearing and mental health evaluated senator,0.0
14491,omsvu reading their trashy comments on my page is annoying me ,2.0
14492,i feel myself slowly falling back into a depressed state im showing all the same signs i usually do just wanting to lay in bed avoiding as much responsibility as possible mindlessly watching youtube of scrolling through social media letting dishes and laundry pile up avoiding spending time with friends taking forever to do one simple task not being able to concentrate on much etc ive spent most of my life anxious and depressed and ive wasted a lot of time feeling down or sad when i couldve been enjoying life and working towards my goals i made a promise to myself that age  also the year  in general is not going to be wasted in a state of apathy i want to make beautiful memories and live up to my dreams i want this year to be different but i know im going to have to take baby steps the whole way and not get discouraged if i fall off track january was off to a good start but i started to fall off track in february i know that i have to take action starting now to make sure that march and the months following dont end up like february for anyone going through something similar or if youve gotten yourself out of a depressed state what are some tips or advice you have that helped you thanks ,3.0
14493,twitter isnt being very nice to me right now ,2.0
14494,emmanuelmacron the american people are with youdonthecon is a russian puppetwith mental health issues ,1.0
14495,just got home from cheer and lunch with mommy its so hot outside however my tummy hurts ,2.0
14496,my entire life has been a failure and just getting worse so i moved out at  since then my life has just fallen apart over and over i failed out of university and got a shitty part time job that barely made ends meet met a woman got married while i was going to trade school she talked me into dropping out of trade school and going back to university my job pays for it marriage fails in less than a year and now i cant go back into the trade school unless i pay up front and i failed an exam today meaning im about to be kicked out of the university and im not allowed to go back since it will be the second time being kicked out and i cant go back to trade school either unless i pay for it up front which i cant afford to do so now im stuck with student loan payments that will probably make me homeless soon everyday i think about just throwing in the towel telling life it won im tired i work  hours a week and struggle in school i just feel done and exhausted i just want to give up at this point,3.0
14497,i have absolutely no idea who i am i dont know anything about myself i cant even form my own opinions i have no interests someone could ask me something as simple as what are your hobbies and id have no idea what to answer is this depression when i think about it ive never been my own person my entire life ive just changed to be whoever the person i like most is i never formed my own self now im alone in life and im literally no one its so frustrating because i just want to be myself but how can i do that when i dont know who myself is i try to talk to people about this and they always think i mean that i dont like myself the other day my mom told me to not worry about it because im an amazing person in response to me saying that it was hard to talk to people because i dont know what to say what i mean is i am literally incapable of forming conversations with people because i have no identity and cant come up with a single thing to say,3.0
14498,hannaumar cooliessss me too  i can also look at fbs friends status,0.0
14499,philstratton itd be awesome  ,0.0
14500,i wish i believed in god i have never been able to comprehend the idea of a god or higher being it just doesnt make sense to mebut when i see people around me who believe in something bigger they are often so happy full of hope minimal anxiety about the futurei just wish i could believe,3.0
14501, so much fun play a round for me ,0.0
14502,they brought it from home and refuse to share  their sister is practicing baking so they get cakes and pies every night,2.0
14503,its teene the albino lifegaurd ahaha i have to get a shot tomorrow ,2.0
14504,let me amend that to hobbling painfully towards bed this huge blister on my achilles is murderous on the stairs ,2.0
14505,its gonna be  degrees colder in la than it will be in wilmington today ,0.0
14506,on my way to my grandpas hanging out there for a while then coming back and hopefully hanging with kert to work out  ,0.0
14507,just finished reading twilight ,0.0
14508,solorunner ah well gotta love exercises that dont require equipment  esp good  travelling have mat will travel ,0.0
14509,is back to back games with a goal too bad we lost  still fun though  sleep time then friday,2.0
14510,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
14511,this has been a horrible monthwhy just why on january  neil peart rush drummer died and then today kobe bryant died not that im a lakers fan or anything but kobe meant so much to the game of basketball and the nba on top of that im failing french and my drama teacher is really annoying and the portland trail blazers are doing not so great,3.0
14512,coda slider effect  jquery for designers  tutorials and screencasts  ,0.0
14513,i hope this helps you ive battled with my depression for the past two years ive just recently started to acknowledge the ugly feelings that i have about myself and make whatever attempt that i can to actually work through them instead of pawning them off on the people important to me my parents best friends and girlfriends have all have had the opportunity to have their lives consumed by my refusal to look in the mirror to accept that i am not who i thought i was my identity issues that come from what i thought i had to be to be successful or to be a man ive had a good couple of weeks i didnt need anybody to have them i cant attribute them to anything but what ive done for myself ive taken care of myself this past month not because i was worried my mom would say something or my girlfriend would leave me wellshe already did but i still did well i did well because i wanted to i care about my life because its mine i dont get another it was so hard at first to accept that just because im not who i want to be yet doesnt mean i wont get there its okay to have to work on yourself just because its not there yet doesnt mean it wont be someday you just have to keep at it give it your all do your best yeah its hard sometimes just because it doesnt come naturally doesnt mean you cant be good at it its so dumb how conceited id been it was like id recognized myself after a long time away it felt so right i didnt know if this would be stupid to put down and i still dont its something that helped me and maybe itll help somebody else its so stupid to say to me for some reason i guess it seems so goddamn obvious  just please take care of yourself its so important youve got to want to itll seem so dumb to think to yourself no man youll be hungry real soon get up and eat you got the food but baby steps and youll get there care a little more about you now in the little moments and it gets easier to do it in the big ones then you wont even think about it you got this ,3.0
14514,kevmarmol i dont think you are in any danger of getting fat somehow unless you eat them every day  ,0.0
14515,rt oliviagobrien the only people i get sad about are the ones who dont get sad about me,2.0
14516,jugolama jugo youre an amazing canuckian i respect you and i know how crippling depression feels fact you can ,1.0
14517,scratch that this ridiculous cough has taken over   time for some rest instead,2.0
14518,mrscrumley i called my dad daddy up intil his last day truly a daddys girl here  bluebox fitfam,2.0
14519,do you love woothemes tell us why and well send some traffic love your way in return  httpwoourlcomwoolove,0.0
14520,one really bad year about to say fuck it my wife cheated with a child molestor she refuses to let me see my kids ive been mistreated by everyone in my life eveyone feels like there is much to gain from being around me but treat me like im on a gameshow to see how ling it takes for me to kill myselfmy house caught fire basicly starting over a friend lets me stay in a rv in his backyard cant take a shower when i need to cant eat its been  days without food becouse they must feel like my pain and suffering is entertainingi havent seen my kids becouse i have no vehicle no place to live and no job im ready to say fuck it and make people start suffering like i have then getting them all in one place at the same time and blow my brains outso they can all enjoy it together peace out,3.0
14521,im wishing id bought some more weed earlier ,2.0
14522,rt mxinftvxq minhyuk isnt good at hiding his emotions he is the kind of showing all of him i know when hes sad worry happy hes li,1.0
14523,castlefibers thanks keep talking to shibaguyz and it wont be long  i love them to bits,0.0
14524,budcaddell  oh darn ive missed little wire block toy   endless hours one objective pure joy sounds about right,2.0
14525,wenyudutch pls dont say that boss im  hours ahead of you and i hardly slept with anxietyim dreading that c httpstcorlgpzulpdh,2.0
14526,and he was so close to his grandfather see bitchees we were worried for a reason i want that airship to be t ,1.0
14527,i dont want to do my work ,2.0
14528,my living struggle im so hurt im losing hope im a  yr old  grader i feel ive fallen so far behind in exceeding others expectations ive failed the past  years of school barely passing through summer school my run of motivation for trying is completely empty i have missed the past  weeks of school because i cant get myself to get up in the morning its so hard to talk to people about what im going through because no one understands ive told my mom months ago that i need some sort of help that i cant do it alone anymore but she is always holding it off i feel im in an endless cycle of pain every single day im home its the same thing i lay in bed all day and sleep but im reaching for help with the little hope i have left im scared of myself at the point where ive tossed all the meds that i could overdose with so that my mind doesnt talk me into swallowing them on the school side my mom has told me that it would keep your mind off things or that you could talk to ur friends yet i have so much social anxiety i dont talk to anybody at school i cant even get myself to focus in class anymore ive also found myself becoming very angry to where ive punched holes in my wall yet i dont understand where the anger is coming from it would just come from nowhere at anytime i feel so lonely all the time i hardly talk to people anymore nonetheless i fear the worst for myself and im hoping this isnt my final reach for help,3.0
14529,i just realized that im bombarding my site with tweets haha i guess im just lonely theres no one to talk to ,2.0
14530,at the coaches social debeer lacrosse brought heads and goodies it is sweet looking to hang with rags one last time ,2.0
14531,should i avoid serious relationshipsand children i feel like i should never have a serious girlfriend get married or have kids given how consistently suicidal i am always having drug problems fighting peoplei dunno id hate to have more people care about me then suddenly blow my brains out and crush themsad that this prevents me from having a normal life but is what it is i guess,3.0
14532,night tweetland another late night wont at all do wonders for my eye sags ,2.0
14533,rt  sometimes a mental health day from work is all that is needed to keep away murder charges,2.0
14534,sitting on the dentist office looks like im gonna be here for awhile ,2.0
14535, every cloud has a silver lining case and point  ,0.0
14536,djloopsfruit that plot was just nonstop sadnessand they showed flashbacks when he was a little boy by the train ,2.0
14537,a colleague from thailand ive worked with many times and has been suffering from cancer passed away last night crying on train ,2.0
14538,meaghannnnn snowball sounds like fun  too bad your slow dance wasnt with mr crush though,0.0
14539,cavediver our little group kind of fell apart after that lost track of everybody ,2.0
14540,chow for now friends time to get ready to make the doughnuts ,0.0
14541,i hate macanos song dejame entrar it makes me sick  i hear it everyday and i just hate it ,2.0
14542, that explains the dogs barking outside  ,0.0
14543,   constant high temps in central arkansas are just insane and are now officially getting on my nerves ugh ,2.0
14544,i dont want to sleep i dont want to stay awake i dont want to live i dont want to die i dont want to do anything at all but i dont want to not do anything either i just feel really uncomfortablethe only thing i want wont happen id like to be with a dear friend of mine but i think shes losing interest in me and that makes me really sad isolation is getting to me for the first time in my life and im feeling really alonei want to cry but i just cant the tears wont come out of my eyes i dont know what to do so i wrote this i hope venting helps,3.0
14545,edapalooza mrroxy thanks for the feedback guys ,0.0
14546,yo yo yo yo   i need food racheal ray makes it hard not to eat while watching tv,0.0
14547,my boyfriend broke up with me bc my depression was too much to handle for context we have been together for  months our relationship has been nothing but great and full of love i have been depressed from the beginning and very open about it from the beginning so he knew what he was getting into recently i have been more depressed i was admitted to a psych hospital bc i wanted to hurt myself it was my second time there while i was in there one of the doctors reported some sexual abuse i experienced as a child so i have been dealing with the police and a lot of home issues he broke up with me he broke up with me bc seeing me struggle was taking too much of an emotional toll on him i understand why but this just reinforces that my mental health ruins my entire life but at the same time is he an asshole for doing this,3.0
14548, in the pool last night felt slow today is bike amp  swim no running until the back is better hate hate hate not running ,2.0
14549,the real reason that i dropped swim class this term had nothing to do with chemicals or inconvenience and im ashamed of myself there are a multitude of reasons for wanting to end ones own life but you all know that so ill just say i have my share and leave it at that for the moment theres one reason in particular thats been one my mind the last couple weeks i got all hyped up to take a swim class this term and when the day came  i just couldnt bring myself to go and i dropped the class i told my sister it was because i remembered that chlorine used to give me headaches and i didnt want to chance that i told my father that it was too inconvenient to have to carry around wet clothes and a towel all day the real reason i havent told anyone the real reason is times have been tougher then i let on i have not taken care of myself ive not been eating regularly the last few months one meal a day if that and then long periods of nothing i didnt eat anything and hardly even drank anything for  days in december this plus the fact that i was also spending most of those days walking around lead to me loosing a bit of weight weight i didnt really have to loose in the first place i came to the horrible realization that if i did go to that swim class i wouldnt be wearing a shirt in front of a room of people they would all be able to see what a truly pathetic and subhuman thing i really am they probably wouldnt even let me participate in the class they might even report me to some authority and force me into some form of custody so i didnt go to the class and i told the two people who asked why reasons i knew they would believe but the truth is im just a pathetic waste of life and the thought of being discovered for what i really am terrifies meso my disguise remains frayed as it is intact but im exhausted i dont think i can keep this up much longer im disgusting pathetic tired,3.0
14550,this is the epitome of gabriella lyzette chiquito httpstcoppgpxgtyyg,0.0
14551,lexa play sad lamborghini ,1.0
14552,michelh sei lá onde preferirem ,2.0
14553,dead in love w hunger games hoping beckag will share arcs  im,0.0
14554,adrianpeople congrats  always happy to see ppl who enjoy tracfone,0.0
14555,im having constant suicidal thoughts i tried to kill my self in  by trying to jump from the  floor after drinking too much on a sunday night ive always fought against depression in my life and when i thought i got trough it it came back again this yearin january  i ended an  year relationship because my significant other at the time had fallen for another man and cheated me since then ive moved on and started another relationship it has been  month that im dating another person but during this time im having constant suicidal thoughts because im thinking this will happen again my head plays horrible images of me been cheated over and over when im alone i keep seeing myself jumping in the train tracks when the train is close to the station and is a very vivid image i loved my ex grew up with her made everything possible for us to have a life together it wasnt enough now im in love again but this time my mind is holding me back a lot not in a healthy way when you are knowing someone it is hard to enjoy new love when you think that you wont be enough to that person that you are worthless and that person will hurt you the same way sometimes it flashes images of my new girlfriend sleeping with other persons that im not enough in bed or that im not successful enough for her to like me this is horrible i just want to enjoy a new girlfriendanyone there have some advice for me,3.0
14556,blathering sorry you werent feeling well ,2.0
14557,is it bad that i constantly joke about my depression its started a while ago and at first it was kind of light but at time progressed it sort of became a very dark bad habit ive had some people tell me i should seek professional help such as therapy but i dont really feel comfortable as it makes me very anxious to talk about anything touchy and if i do it comes out as a joke sort of like a coping method i guess,3.0
14558,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
14559,hoodenershorse would love to pop down for lunch but not gonna happen today  do you do this every week,2.0
14560,and i got a sxc scarf and cool converse while i was there too haha and had the best pizza today at a small cafe near the hotel ,0.0
14561,watching twilight i cant wait for new moon why is november so far away ,2.0
14562, awwwe youre gonna be around my area except ill be fremont bound teehee enjoy the parties ,0.0
14563,confused ,2.0
14564,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
14565,officialnjonas the songs on ur new album sound great especially before the storm ,0.0
14566,kickzfadayz our boy better get it in tonight or its all over ,2.0
14567, saw kate in town she has  off facials i want o go but i doubt ill be able to ,2.0
14568,this slump of depression has reduced me to a couch potato,2.0
14569,smart kid ,0.0
14570,trying my best to sleep its not quite working ,2.0
14571,liddlealien am ,0.0
14572,is letting the creative writing flow good results so far ,0.0
14573,beautiifulgirl im back  wow did you already get tickets where did you get them yes i saw it its so awesome ,0.0
14574,pongrat hey earth pockettwit is very neat responsive and easy to use thx for recommendation na ja ,0.0
14575,saritaonline i woke up at  and thought quotthis is way too early weekends are for sleeping inquot went back to sleep  i  sleep,0.0
14576,the climb  miley cyrus ,0.0
14577,tommcfly iv seen wolverine yesterday its amazing goo see it ,0.0
14578,my internet is being really slow that normally means its about to run out   we have like a monthly limiti hope im wrong,2.0
14579,sad kayko bay huhuhuhu,2.0
14580,clairesbones  fasting starts and ends when i may need to join you after my night ,2.0
14581,how do i motivate myself im currently doing my masters at the start of the year i felt so positive and happy but things happened over the winter break and i just buried my head in the sandive had the last   weeks completely free to work on reports set i didnt write a single word i just lay in bed i didnt go food shopping i didnt do laundry and sometimes i wouldnt go downstairs to get water because of the possibility of my housemates being there and having to talk about coursework id lay awake anxious about the report but couldnt bring myself to start on iti feel a bit better today and told myself that i at least had to do something anything ive written a title which is something but nowhere near enoughi know theres no easy solution but does anyone have any tips on how to get yourself motivated,3.0
14582,afredriksson ha ha i am not kidding its perfect going to ikea when the sun is up ,0.0
14583,is watching angel eye and needs to work on my paper drag  its so boring blah blah blah,2.0
14584,i love good weatherbut want to sleep  its too hot for me ,2.0
14585,alexmalouf where will u be driving this afternoon need to inform the police ,0.0
14586,i cant talk to anyone before i start i wanna say i do see a therapist every  weeks but in between i cant talk to anyone i asked my friend if it was good that i talk to him a little but all he said was why dont you talk to your mom so i cant talk to him i cant talk to my mom bc she gets angry at me i cant talk to my sister because she either gets mad at me or tell me super mean stuff i cant talk to my dad because he just refuses to listen i have no one i feel so alone and i just cant take it im so scared of losing people and i feel like its whats happening anyway bc of the way i am i think something is wrong with me i want to change but everytime i get happier and i feel like things are getting better i end up fucking up i feel like everyone hates me i dont know i just cant keep going,3.0
14587,i may not care much about hetalia but yasumoto hiroki sings damn well as germany ,0.0
14588,off to either m amp s or tescos for some nice fooood for tea   not to sure what to have though  any ideas,0.0
14589,attraction theory gone wrong i keep reading up on the stories of people who got out of depression one of the major similarities in these stories is that they realized their negative thoughts werent true i find it hard to believe mine arent though my complete lack of interest in anything is the reason why ill never succeed to achieve a comfortable standard of living my belief that ill continue to be a miserable failure is the reason im depressed sort of a lack of interest in everything nulls whatever meaning something might have to a normal person for me so that plays a part to i just want to give up but im stuck between living a shitty life where everyone will look down and spit on me for giving up while making it even harder to recover and just ending my life theres nothing to live for i say that with as much conviction as possible all i wanna do is get my dopamine fix i hate work the fuck is wrong with me why is everything so objectively grey ,3.0
14590,sad about a lot of things am i selfish i know theres a pandemic happening but its hard to see outside of my sadness right nowon my mind right nowunemployed rejected by so many jobs and in quarantine im more alone than ever so many people coming and going from my apartment sigh my roommate is stupid but i wont go into details anywhoi asked and begged if youd let me stay with you you said no it hurt but i know im not your responsibility i offered to pay rent but i could sense how repulsed you were by the idea in a desperate attempt to find options i was surprised that almost total strangers would be more willing to help me than you i am weighing their offers and knowing someone cares helps losing you in this really crazy time hurts but it will not break me im sad about that but in this world we have no one but ourselves i dont know why i had given so much weight to having family or being in a relationship i see now i only have myself,3.0
14591, hours and  minutes left before i can go home ,2.0
14592,i ate all my edamame  i need mooooore,2.0
14593,at victoria gardens picking out a new woredrobe for david  cheesecake factory here we come,0.0
14594,my anxiety is very high right now,1.0
14595,with my country officially going on lockdown now would be a perfect time for me to have any motivation for my hobbies drawing painting reading now is a good time for me to do all the things i never had time to too bad i lost my motivation to even try months ago heres to a few weeks of dissociation which isnt really different from my normal life,3.0
14596,so effin tired rite now  maybe not enough diet coke  me  gnite ppls,2.0
14597,got loads of songs in my head  loving myspace at the moment loads of amazing bands ,0.0
14598,just a note peeps i did not actually wee myself but still funny stuff oh that kmacphizzle she makes me laugh ,0.0
14599,soooooo burnt out  just did had a  hour marathon making revisions to my thesis  and i still got a few more to go,2.0
14600, lol  quotthink with your phone instead your dickquot i would rather think with my brain ,0.0
14601,credit cards have just arrived ,0.0
14602,im about to go to sleep after a long day           goodnight  ,0.0
14603,packing   then going to the church to play volleyball,2.0
14604,i sorta hate the last day of the month bc thats when i have to pay the car insurance ,2.0
14605,elshertz yess i say the same  i need my fornarina jeans,2.0
14606,about to watch green day on quotsnlquot their new album is awesome ,0.0
14607,seriously though i have anxiety after these trailers,2.0
14608,morebikes yay ,0.0
14609,i have no purpose broke up with my girlfriend of  years a few weeks ago which i regret extremely i have  friends that i dont talk to that much my parents barely support me im constantly on the verge of suicide and extremely anxious i just dont know what to do anymore,3.0
14610,when you feel alone in crowded room ive always felt second best since as long as i can remember so much trauma living in fear shtty relationshipsi think right now i really cant deal i dont want to die but i feel so alonei go to therapy and it does help my issues are so deeply rooted thoi guess i just hate myself i do i hate my brain my heart my body everything,3.0
14611,really comically terrible experience with a psychologist years ago i never shared this with anyone because it is pretty embarrassing i am russian gay and in the closet in late  i was having a massive downturn in my life i did not feel like doing anything almost failed out of graduate school and was deeply hurt by a homophobic family it was a mix of things but anyway i made an appointment with a psychologist off of zocdoc as per the recommendation of a school counselor now i live in new york and as ridiculous as it sounds when i made the appointment i did not notice until a few days before that the address was oceanview avenue and not ocean avenue basically i ended up in an office down the block from me and no offense to other russians but it went how you would imaginesome highlights immediately said i could not be depressed because i was smiling when i started talking with him i was actually just smiling to be polite and i wanted to leave as soon as he said this asked if i felt uncomfortable at parties i said uh i guess so and he proceeded to tell me it could be aspergers then retracted the diagnosis after like  minutes because he said i make plenty of eye contact and act normal i definitely do not have aspergers i regrettably told him i was gay when he asked what i could possibly be sad about as a  year old guy and he flat out told me why would i see a russian psychologist then i told him i thought he would understand the cultural hardships i face he asked me invasive questions like if i want to be the passive partner or not then told me he does not have the expertise for this he then told me that it could be endocrine problems that cause me to like guys and that scientists want to keep the causes and cure a secret  also told me that you put all the gays and lesbians on an island they cannot reproduce so its not a very natural thing  also told me that scientists dont want to admit that black people are less intelligent than whites as another example of them having warped agendas  finished off by diagnosing me with low self esteem and prescribed klonopin and some other drug i threw out the prescription when i left and have never been on anything it almost sounds comical looking back but i am not exaggerating any of it this actually happened in nyc of all placesi dont know where else to post this but i really wanted to share ,3.0
14612,champagnerdub ur welcome happy to do it since it was about me too ,0.0
14613,i just woke up crazy night i am gonna go visit my nephew he is really sick ,2.0
14614,jakeandamir i know final cut pro ,0.0
14615,oh no my phone battery is dying ,2.0
14616,holistic dentistry great source to find dentist in your area wwwholisticdentistryorg they are the holistic dental association ,0.0
14617,wheres my summer weather  stop raining,2.0
14618,its bed time for this bearwoofyou all have a great evening ,0.0
14619,does anyones mind just go blanc i thought it was normal to just not think of anything for extended periods of time but recently i was in an argument with my mom more like her ranting when she asked what i was thinking during the argument when i told her nothing she just said that its not possible,3.0
14620, real people on what finally worked for their anxiety by wellaware ,1.0
14621,joshbrotheim oh thats funny  i didnt expect it to be free i expected for you to pay for it ,0.0
14622,going to bed after a long day  last night to sleep in my bed and see the fam though ,0.0
14623,packing for hawaii but i miss my boy ,2.0
14624,am i a loser i am really upset about this my grades in maths have just decreased and though i work really hard it just doesnt gets betterin exam coming to the end my answers go wrong and though i know how to do the questions it becomes worthlessthe students in my class also now think that i am just a midwalker and i cannot do anything bethey dont give me much respecti am depressed will it get better what will happen in final exam 😭😭help,3.0
14625,frugalnyc my wp posts w tables w images w captions the entire post vanishes was hoping upgrade would take care of but it didnt ,2.0
14626,twilight and his cast are the best   love the new moon trailer  and hello everyone ,0.0
14627,rt dripsettonyt this generation is so sad lazy and spoiled its fucked up,1.0
14628,trying to understand someone yo there whilst i myself do not have depression or a mental illness i know someone who does so this person well call them b i know when i met them was a very nice and down to earth kind of girl someone who i thought was in a good place but i dont think i could have been more wrong after knowing them for a longer period of time they from their past history have a severe case of depression and mental illness they would often lie and manipulate people to get them to either sympathise with her or get them to do b a favour one example is they made up a complete back story about having a sibling who passed away in their childhood due to suicide she went as far as photoshopping herself on past pictures to fake this additionally having a death day where she bought flowers to mourn for her loss by doing this b got given money by people she knowsthis is just one of many many questionable and morally repugnant things b has done in order to benefit herself i whilst trying to understand couldnt take it anymore i told her that her behaviour couldnt continue otherwise she would lose her remaining friends she would later block me from everything to cut me from her life after this im trying to just justify any of her actions but cant seem to do so i guess what i can come up with is her mental illness but it has been extremely hard for this to be just it b uses her condition sparingly whenever it best suits her for example she would often pull out last minute in social events and claim it was due to depression however on numerous occasions she would end up going with different people or to a different place i have tried to speak to her after confronting her but i dont think she will be willing to listen i think i have to just take the loss on this one as she is not willing to listen or even talk it through with me anything i can do or should i just leave it at that,3.0
14629,today i am rather happy   yay everything,0.0
14630,bed time  elyse comes home tomorrow morning i cant wait to see her ,0.0
14631,sloanejb bahah  i use mine a few times then i start getting randomto the point where i run out of names lmao,0.0
14632,just ate brunch gosh i feel so fatt  going to my friends party later ,0.0
14633,cant pay disability for mental health but can open new stores meijer,0.0
14634, mizzlo i had two this morning  they were delicious  thanks a lot girls ,0.0
14635,sadiepetunia i dont watch greys anatomy and i havent seen any of them hooking up with each other most are already married ,2.0
14636,a case of the mondays ,2.0
14637,it never stops raining here  gym and homework ny in  china in ,2.0
14638,drkangelcat i know  who is ur favorite character,0.0
14639,f for fantastic i got an a on my epi exam that i took last week cabbage patch the hard work is paying off ,0.0
14640,socallove well whore  im at a meeting right now haha  but i dont have plans after this  you wanna get freaky,0.0
14641,brookeschwab sorry your having a sad day friend  ,0.0
14642,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
14643,i think its going to be a nice day ,0.0
14644,mrsstarrcherie love you too you seem crazy busy today call me when you get a min  love you,0.0
14645,i feel extremely refreshed ,0.0
14646, more goal gila but his last game is against milan dillematic  me ,2.0
14647,joeymcintyre i wanna come ,0.0
14648,jodyg hey beautiful  long time no hear,0.0
14649,i wish i didnt have responsibilities to stop me from dying i have a severe mental illness that makes me an annoyance to literally everyone and the moment i realized this is when my depression began in a weird way i was happy i was depressed because it brought the symptoms of my illness down and for the first time in my life i wasnt anyone anyone for everyone elses peace i sacrificed my owni began to fantasize of death it gave me a high and peace the same way letting out your emotions and crying gives peace first i pretended to wrap the shower head around my neck and slowly stop breathing then to imagine cutting my wrists and seeing the blood slowly flow as i drifted off peacefully these thoughts came and went constantly getting more creative and absurdtheres no cure for what i have medication will not solve me i just want to be normal when im happy im annoying when im depressed im quite  i dont want to live the rest of my life with my demented and tortured brain i dont have good looks i dont have a good body i dont have a good brainwhen i first decided to die i planned to drive my car off a bridge on the highway on my way to college into a river not oncoming cars so it would look like an accident i tried to convince my parents to sign up for life insurance entire family plan they declined and i didnt push before i could go through with it my parents announced my mom was pregnant i couldnt do that to the baby i remember holding my newborn sibling in the hospital and being sad because i knew i couldnt kill myself for a long time now at least not until i moved outi took some time to review suicide methods terrible methods• jumping off building gt unlucky cleanup crew•  reasons why style gt unlucky cleanup crew• jumping under train gt unlucky cleanup crew• gunshot gt unlucky cleanup crew• cutting your wrists gt painfulgood suicide methods• accidental deaths ie riding car off cliff swimming far out until you cant swim back climbing everest and freezing ect gt easier on loved ones especially if theyre religious so they wont think you went to hell and life insurance is a nice bonus• hanging gt no blood• exhaust pipe fumes gt peaceful  my lists arent very long but it doesnt matter i wont be able to kill myself anyways i have a job school very emotional parents and an amazing startup idea i just have to finish before i die very often i wish i had no responsibilities especially the product im working on everyday so i could feel free to die oh well hopefully my startup will make me millions so i can look back and be glad i didnt kill myself at least i have that hopealso when my father lost his job recently he became a wreck and has been really hard to be around i cant imagine leaving him with my mother and how hard hell be to deal with if im dead ill basically be leaving my poor mother with a mopey depressed smelly husband she has to deal with for the rest of her life not sure how to end this just like i dont know how to end my life heh anyways goodnight everyone look forward to reading your comments in the morning,3.0
14650,rt volfmech pcd i do not agree with if anything it should be pcs post con sadnessbecause that feeling passes depression does not,0.0
14651,going to the mall ,0.0
14652,i need help ive fell back into a state of depression for the third time over the past  months it is likely im going to need help from a psychiatrist but dont know how to approach my parents about it can anyone give me any advice,3.0
14653,happy moms day  i love my mommy with all my heart,0.0
14654,going to the beyonce concert today im late ,2.0
14655,i am sick damn it dont feel good  to go out,2.0
14656,so sad you didnt day hello to me  jonasbrothers,2.0
14657, and i was there yesterday and its suddenly worse eeeepp im sure i dont have swine but i dont feel good  boooo,2.0
14658, honey im  mins away amp its killing me but its my sisters dance recital weekend ,2.0
14659,says numbers are all good  all thats left is the white blood cell count  ,0.0
14660,if travis dont ever top dbr thats gone be so sad,1.0
14661,still not feelin well but i need to do my homework ,2.0
14662,christ alone can bring lasting peace  peace with god  peace among men and nations  and peace within our hearts billy graham ,0.0
14663,im having a strong urge to hurt myself what do i do i need a distraction but its  ami dont want anymore scars they are so ugly but im spinning out of control over petty things,3.0
14664,edtgca  clean me,2.0
14665,mashakiev thanks a lot  it was good and weather in moscow make me happy too ,0.0
14666,this is stupid ,2.0
14667,jungjae  its my lucky nai ba folow ong bumny nha tui roi con hoi lam jpt,0.0
14668,tiffmcmillan lol i went to sleep at  amwoke up at   ,2.0
14669,uugh up way toooo early soo sick last night   still not feelin so hottin bed all day,2.0
14670,passively suicidal  like i wanted to die but i dont want to kill myself anyone got this feeling too ,3.0
14671, good seeing you last night tmoney ,0.0
14672,happy morning everyone amp hello to all the new followers ,0.0
14673,wish i had a mom ,2.0
14674,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
14675, woah im at pavilion  that place is so cold  im pretty screwed i should of studied alot earlier and possibly not near my comp,2.0
14676,man i miss zac like craazy  not sure why and all i want to hear is quotuse me upquot that he sang in tulsa at the moe ,2.0
14677,lucian kulturbrille unless they had  counters counting votes at a rate of  votesec  so yeah unlikely,0.0
14678,redrahg just walk with a mirror ,0.0
14679,finally i have finished packing  now its time for me to sit back and have nice long cry  ,2.0
14680,rt pajhwok breaking  suicide bomber targeted an election candidate in eastern nangarhar province reportedly he killed with three other,1.0
14681,er ignore previous tweet ,0.0
14682,is chillin out in bed ,0.0
14683,todays my pumkins burfday cupcakes n juice ready to roll for his school cake amp icecream  the house ,0.0
14684,ms pacman is so hard on a computer ,2.0
14685,everything tastes bland  fever amp fluoff you go damnnnit ,2.0
14686,was gonna do some baking but then realised no one would eat it ,2.0
14687, thank you  someone who congratulates me instead of getting jealous at me ,0.0
14688,man im old and feeling so so so alone right now title about sums it up i have no one to talk to like no one i have a daughter but i put on a happy face for her as most of you here do i would suspect im going down that hole again i feel it it ishas taken me im pretty sure that it has already i dont want to go into suicide watch territory so i wont but you know it would be nice to have someone to talk to that hasnt lost all hope with this life ,3.0
14689,phillyd you should go see criss angel believe ,0.0
14690,i cant believe the lion died ,2.0
14691,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
14692,loving the bb house  officialbb,0.0
14693,peachxed  that suckss yeah theyre horrid d,2.0
14694,neda no longer a trending topic   iranelection,2.0
14695,junior high baseball game with assray flashback to middle school ,0.0
14696,markwahlberg happy  ,0.0
14697,snkr jwalanta sangitashres would you watch this if it was japanese movie ,0.0
14698,does anyone else here ever stay up late to avoid tomorrow im going through a lot ,3.0
14699,rt ellypurnell we got a rescue dog with anxiety she gets scared a lot but when she scared she cuddles with mr lion and mr lion ma ,2.0
14700,lilmisspatty oh mann youre the greatest why not friday haha im just asking though but i probably can on thursday ,0.0
14701,i am doing my homework ,2.0
14702,off to trent bridge for  warm up beautiful day ,0.0
14703,just created twitter account ,0.0
14704,rt bbylychee my depression and my anxiety ganging up on me while im out trying to have a good time ,2.0
14705,ddloato i wont go because im so far  but i want you come brazil again i love you so much demi,2.0
14706,this morning is amazing im smiling already ,0.0
14707,i still struggle admitting i need help this is kinda a vent i need to look myself in the mirror for a few minutes and try to restart my downward cycle if you want to have a conversation im here for it otherwise nothing to see here hahaive been so low the past couple weeks i havent felt like myself at all ive felt a fair amount of that apathy i read about on this sub often and its scaryi know the things i need to do in order to overcome this depression  the tools i can reach for exercise nutrition therapy group therapy being open with friends and family volunteering strong social connections medical health and on and on the laundry list is long and tough to grapple with all at once but having a couple of weeks of pure hell makes me realize that im really not working on any one of those things strongly what have i done to really move forward in the last year i feel like i havent really reached for any of those huge steps since i started therapy in  ive been going for over four years and its been lifechanging but what other healthy steps have i taken last summer my dental health became overwhelming something i must take care of i went back for my first appointment in years gradually i took care of my pain and the rot in my mouth was alleviated i lost a tooth in the process but a huge weight was lifted as well i need some similar weight lifted now but most of all i want to be able to reach for it i crave some discipline the dental work came as a result of time running out as it were reactive not proactive i want to be strong enough to work thru this shit at a healthy pace not leave things go awry for months on end until a consequence happens but i suppose in order to get there i have to first admit that i am weak and i do need help i cant do it all on my own like i tell myself i must id really like to get an exercise bike i can see all the positives cardio healthbody positivitymotivation to hike moreoverall getting in shape for someone healthy buying a bike putting in the research going to stores asking people for advice would be doable simple tasks like that are fucking hard for me because im not healthyso how do i get there ask my sister to take me shopping one day this post is a good start question why ive failed in the past and talk through the doable steps remind myself of the positive outcomes in working thru it maybe i need to meditate again breathe thru the pressure in my chest when i think about going to a bike store or talking to people on craigslist i wish i could work thru these things easily like a normal person i guess my win today is admitting im broken and depression is at fault maybe if i admit that more often ill see its ok to ask for help and beat myself up lessive never really lost love for myself because i know im a good man my therapist told me that purpose can be looked at as two halves being and doing right now im happy with my selfphilosophy and who i am when im not depressed that person is good its time to accept that im not healthy enough to do good yet at least not to the degree that i hope my future holds its hard to reconcile how much depression is holding me back i hope i can look myself in the mirror this deeply in the next little while and reach for more of that help that i need to pick myself up off the ground maybe it can start with the exercise bike,3.0
14708,singlexxx i like how u invited me to help u choose out some lingerie ,2.0
14709,i used to want to talk when im soo depressed i used to want someone to talk to and its been always the thing i want when im so sadnow im soo desperate and depressed that i dont want anything i dont even want to talk to someone i feel trapped and i dont want to exist anymore,3.0
14710,my internets back  ,0.0
14711,i could really use a good night sleep i wish i knew what to do about my girlfriend ,2.0
14712,im scared im a perfectly healthy individual loving family good friends the whole spiel but recently its become more and more common where i just got to bed and just cry i just cry and cry and cry i eventually pass out and the next morning im finetonights an especially bad night so i thought id browse for a bit decided to visit here for the first time and to a majority of the posts ive seen on here i get this gut feeling of i relate to thisthe one that hit me the hardest was one along the lines of i live so that those around me wont hurt from my suicideive never had issues like this before and i dont know where it came from im suddenly scared of myself i dont know what happened,3.0
14713,why shloud i spend my all day thinking about people that would never take a second to think about me basically what the title says i spend my day thinkin about people i really care about if i hurted them if they give a shit but they probably forgot about my existence i had a lot of friends and now i dont have anybody and i think i am the bad guy people i know for years are pretending they dont know who i am so i am becoming much more invisible by time yeah can someone relate stay strong btw,3.0
14714,just uploaded a new youtube video on whats to be expected    i am also watching the fresh prince at  am,0.0
14715,rt  damn bro chill w that sad boy shit  ,2.0
14716,laryllan not really d nice pic  lenaaileen no but could u imagine those   i thought so ,0.0
14717,goin threw sum major friend issues ryt now not lookin so gd atm i defo need a drink the strong kind ,2.0
14718,a lonley mind when i was younger i didnt really know what lonliness was i always sat in my room in the dark playing by myself i never have had a best friend or a real friend in general my parents never talked to me unless they had to anytime i start to get close to anyone it all just falls apart and i dont know what to do from there i dont know why its painful to be alone constantly with my thoughts i feel no love and i dont even know how to love i think its a kind of lonliness thats unique i have friends at school people who i thought were supposed to be my friends but as i grew older the more i realized that i could go missing without for a week and no one would notice my parents make no effort to interact with me and when we do interact its because we are required to my dad who divorced my mom doesnt even call me or text me even though he has my contact info he just doesnt care maybe im just meant to be alone and its only natural for people to not care i really needed to talk about this and i dont have anyone else,3.0
14719,got tickets to see anberlin and the academy is in august ,0.0
14720,johnself quota natal character that recognises and responds to players moodsquot nothing like real life then ,2.0
14721,im really really sad for tae he doesnt deserve that i wanna hug him,0.0
14722,summer is going better ,2.0
14723,looking forward to working with louisephilp while shes visiting toronto ,0.0
14724,i want to die everything is falling apart so fast im losing all my friends and family ive accomplished nothing in life but failure i have nobody left who cares and i just dont know what else to do,3.0
14725,joshuaholcombe just reading over your entriesyou are hysterically funny ,0.0
14726,mandyyjirouxx  damn was about to call ,2.0
14727,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
14728,tamathon wtfx is a stress fracture that sounds hurty too ,2.0
14729,internet connection at home is down ,2.0
14730, i miss you too ,2.0
14731,im not sure if i have depression but im in a bad place right now and i need some people to talk to so the last  months have my life have been really rough and i really need a place to spill it out because my friends always just tell me the same uplifting bs everytime i try and talk to them about it but  months ago i broke up with this girl i had been seeing for a while because we just were not getting along anymore and things were getting toxic this hurt me so badly and was really the first time i have ever felt actual heartbreak cut forward a couple of months and i think that im over it and i try dating this other girl but it eventually comes to light that im not over my ex girlfriend at all and i end that relationship swiftly so i can take time to think about how i feel after another month or two of trying to get over this girl i think that being with someone else is a good idea and so ive been putting myself out there with no avail ive been rejected by  people and am just getting tired of trying i only realized i needed to talk to people about this because really recently this girl was showing me alot of interest and then just suddenly stopped one day she was calling me for hours on end and then the next she just didnt text at all no reasoning no nothing now that brings me to why im here and not somewhere like rrelationshipadvice now im developing signs of depression and i want to just be somewhere where other people are experiencing the same issue ive been more tired way more mopey than usual and have been preferring to just be alone when im normally extremely extroverted so please ill take any and all advice ,3.0
14732,wondernat aww thanks hugs back just feel really down  nevermind i will ok later im sure,2.0
14733,djbonics can you play quotboom boom powquot more often i love kiss its the only station i listen to ,0.0
14734,one of the exiles stories made me well up in the train station i tried not to cry while so many people were around ,2.0
14735,sarahalicecul typo  always notice it after i send it,2.0
14736,ashwinn mostly because of what i have for lunch each day depending on the item im either at  cals or  cals for the day ,2.0
14737,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
14738,paulmwoods not good  ill tell you about them next time we chat on facebook or whatever,2.0
14739, wear light colors and drink plenty of water and youll be fine  are you going to any of the haunted houses there,0.0
14740,why can i give solid advice but not take it ive been depressed for many years and have watched myself go into a downward spiral however the second i see someone else hurting this strong need to make them know their worth kicks in its like in that moment my problems disappear because im so focused on making sure that other person knows how important they are and that they make a difference im able to at least try to empower others but when it comes to myself i let all the negative thoughts i have sink in why cant i tell myself and believe it when i say i matter,3.0
14741,nice to hear so many people enjoying their day  thats what weekends are all about,0.0
14742, heey i love ur picture  its so gorgeous ,0.0
14743,ahhh yes supernatural tonight ,0.0
14744,charonqc story starts quotengland crashed to one of their most ignominious cricketing defeats of all timequot not good  ,2.0
14745,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
14746,i am scared most of the people who know me already knows this there was a girl i loved in high school she was brilliant empathetic loving and beautiful i envied her as much as i loved her maybe more i am a male so envying someone because of their female body is kinda strange and some say that it may be a sign that i am transgender but i dont know i am not writing to talk about this eitheri never experienced love at least i can say that love never exposed itself as an emotion in me i never felt that bond i never thought that i would die for someone even my parentsi lost contact with this girl a few years ago i never opened up to her because it wouldnt work and it would just make her uncomfortable i also started therapy because of my issues with my depression hypochondria and possible gender dysphoriaa couple of months into the therapy one night i saw a dream she was sitting on a bench crying and i was feeling hopeless i was scared and i was in some kind of pain when i saw her i sat next to her and leaned my head on her and she did the same and i felt something that i never ever felt before for the first time it was like i was existing and she was existing and there was this feeling it felt like i could see everything she was and she could see everything i was we could see each other i was bonded with her it felt ethereal the emotion was so intense that it made me woke up and i started cryingi have never been able to love someone never made any sacrifices i never felt the need to do it but i regret being unable to connect and love now and i see now why its the most important thingtoday a little more than a year after that dream i finished playing mass effect  i always loved liara but never tried romancing with her in the game my character was not a very emotional person it was a woman i did everything to keep my team safe i also did all the side missions to keep shepard from dying but due to a bug or something i couldnt get enough ems points to keep her from dying despite thoroughly finishing every side quest available in the final mission liara told me to close my eyes she did something and i was in a dark space she held my hands and leaned on my shoulder and i felt the same thing the same emotion i started crying again not just because of the intensity of the emotion  but also because i knew that one of us could die and i dont knowi changed things that happened to me changed me and i changed for the worse i didnt make any good decisionsi believe that we all need some kind of meaning a belief something to hold on to some kind of safety but things that happened to me shattered the reality that i was in there is nothing in it i dont exist i scream but nobody hears me i do not deserve to be heard but i feel so alone i do not deserve to be seen but i do not exist anyway i do not believe in souls everything can be changed my soul has no more important than a piece of soil i am scared that was another reason why the game affected me so much reapers took humans and other life forms and they changed them they corrupted them the things i felt when when i saw those corrupted life forms gave me the same feeling of shattered reality i mean i already thought a lot about it its just that seeing them in game increased the impact of the story on methe thing that shattered my reality was my blood disease there is a chance that it will cause complications in the brain which is for me my soul if it happens then i am going to be corrupted too and all i can hope is that when the time comes i will have the courage to end iti am afraid of never experiencing this bond with anyone i am also afraid that the person who bonded with me will see me change and become corrupted she will see that i am no more myself even though its still mei watched annihilation i didnt like it overall but change which is key to the movie is something i think a lot about as i said before there was this scene one of the researchers was mutated and she became a bearlike creature and she was asking for help i just wanted to mention this scene because it can help me express what i feel when i think about myself and my disease and i am scared these thoughts shattered my reality and these are the best examples i can give to someone who didnt experience iti feel restless i am lost i dont know what to do i dont have the power to do anything i am helpless i dont even existi wanted to do things now i dont want to do anything there is no love there is no curiosity i dont dream anymore i cant dream without existingthe way i see it i will die restless when the time comes i will never find peace i dont know what i want but i am restless and i am lost i need help,3.0
14747,myfriendamy i know  but you were so busy  your bubbly personality is contagious   i look forward to bea next year,0.0
14748,the half pipe new cinema idea with luxury beanbags from hoyts not in sydney though  httptinyurlcomqvmzfc,2.0
14749,tommcfly why didnt you twitter during the gig tom im upset  ,2.0
14750,i like chicago ,0.0
14751,life idk if its the mercury in retrograde or wtf but i go through phases where i actually contemplate killing myself i think about it who all my things will go to how will my family feel and how will i do it sometimes i just dont understand why im here,3.0
14752,i just feel so goddamn talentless lately and want to just give up on all my creative projects i just tried sitting down and working on my digital designs again and had a fucking meltdown i just feel like i cant create for shit anymore i used to love the idea of creating unique designs for just art on my walls or designs for longboards and such i tried to continue doing the lining on my recent project which is honestly just a lot of tracing but like every time i try to do anything i just keep fucking the drawing up httpimgurcomagypvoiu thats basically where i left it and dont know what to do with it i just genuinely feel like i cant do it anymore and it fucking bums me out none of my creative projects i try end up working out and i dont know how to handle it ive done stand up comedy in a few places in bumfuck nowhere with solid jokes that work with everyone outside of the context of comedy and i bomb every fucking time that was my dream and i recently just came to terms that i cant do it which hurt a lot to realize i just want to create i want to be good at something i feel like i just hit a wall and cant recover i feel like shit in my personal life is finally on the incline but now i gotta deal with realizing im fucking talentless with anything creative i feel like there are so many goddamn hoops i need to jump through to just have a content or nice day i cant talk to anyone about it because i feel pathetic even typing it out here anyway whoevers reading this thanks for hearing me out i needed to get it out so that i wouldnt risk another meltdown or worse,3.0
14753,going to sunbathe out in the back graden today good times  xxx,0.0
14754, oooo yeaaah thts a definite no no  so i knoo ure over there literally dyin ,2.0
14755,jonathanrknight happy mothers day to ur mom i hope she has a wonderful day   ,0.0
14756,past   earlier i was tired now im just awake talking to my boo  xoxo,0.0
14757,dreaming about old friends and crush ive been really lonely lately last night i had a dream where i had an amazing entire day out with friends i havent seen in so long one of whom i had feelings towards nothing special or dreamlike happened in the dream it felt like a regular day had passed so when i woke up i just stared sobbing because it had felt so reali stopped seeing most of my friends about  years ago in  i tried being more social again throughout the year but it didnt work out and i never saw any of them i put my old friends behind me and got over my longstanding crush a good year ago but since christmas ive been thinking about them again i thought i had finally moved on but this hit me hard ive had plenty of ongoing issues over the last few months that have made me feel pretty worthless struggling to find a silver lining with little reason to continue living but this just made me plain sad not in a suicidal way just flatout depressed,3.0
14758,brianmcnugget now that is a smart idea loll there my  fav tw shows gonna bee hard lol and neighbours ,0.0
14759,is concerned about the current economic situationmostly my own and its not good ,2.0
14760, danny flying to la today but said flying home tonight ,0.0
14761,derekinpa hahaha yeaaa thats a good onenotebook too ,0.0
14762,hahahaha yes it was karla yes it was ,0.0
14763,jellypencil no uk is still fairly cool at the mo i think he may have a blockage in his tummy  hes finally asleep now tho which is gud,2.0
14764,daynadelux girl u make me not want  be pregnant lol wheres a pic of the cute belleh ,0.0
14765,uncletrav not following me ,0.0
14766,still connection timeout on grooveshark ,2.0
14767,flytunes   alright yall all together now quotgood after noon missmonmonquot ,0.0
14768,my puppy pees all over the place and i dont know how to get her to stop ,2.0
14769,do dreams come true because mine will never ,2.0
14770,one of my neighbours just came back from hospital with her new baby  from what i can see from the window its so little and so cute,0.0
14771,time to leave for cooking lessons at my uncles steak tonight looks like im just going to miss patrick getting home from work ,2.0
14772,its sad when your own family dont even fwu,1.0
14773, noone cares haha jk love you ,0.0
14774,need help getting over past emotions am i right in thinking that one person can have such a large effect on your depressive state does anybody have any experiences of having to work really hard to get over somebodyfor coming on four years now i m  have struggled to move on from unrequited feelings i held for a straight male friend of mine these feelings coincided with the onset of my depression and cbt would suggest that these feelings served as an important factor in the worsening of my mental health after basically four years of being apart from him since weve left school and having blocked him on social media to get some space my feelings although diminished still exist despite being in a relationship with a girl i care about enormously and having gained a new circle of friends and experiences at university i still love him i still find myself crying sometimes about how much i miss him or about how if onlyi was with him and could be happy its almost like my brain has inextricably linked my happiness to him and i worry that without someone getting past him i will never get to a better place mentally does anybody else have any experiences like this or any advice for dealing with this sort of thing as a depressed person thankstldr  still in love with a straight friend after four years of being apart and not seeing him on social media how can i get past this,3.0
14775,itunes keeps crashing when i try to update to iphone  super sad face ,2.0
14776,brendon thinks im lamebut im just drunk  ,0.0
14777,xxohmystarz yes you did wut happened ,2.0
14778,i am going  da doctors cause my ribs hurt  i dont think i broke it  one love lil k wish me luck,2.0
14779,elverbo give it  months and my filing cabinet will be full of nothing but atampt bills cant go paperless its a business account ,2.0
14780,i definitely need a larger ssd  ,2.0
14781,rt alimakp from uoftmedicine uoftmeddean can we talk about physician mental health ,2.0
14782,anyone else an avid gamer like me before the depression and now that escape from reality makes me feel a little closer to normal i spent the first  years of my life never experiencing depression but now i wonder if i did and i just wasnt bad enough that videogames wouldnt alleviate it completely i dont understand myself anymore,3.0
14783,gowned emfail ducked me at the reception so i couldnt congratulate her ,0.0
14784,angstmann thanks rich your not wrong about the shed gonna fry some eggs on my desk in a minute and im barely exaggerating ,0.0
14785,i look like sht right now  hours of sleep sweaty and i smell ,2.0
14786,i want to take a bubble bath and read sad poetry,1.0
14787,watching wizards of waverly place ,0.0
14788,how am i gonna deal with this  im not ready for you to go,2.0
14789,waiting for hubby to finish cooking dinner  ,0.0
14790,it hits me again depression sucks hello here i am once again to share my feelings out that nobody can understand or know what is depressionanxiety really are im a loner and a introvert person i can talk to people but then my heart starts racing and im sweating for no reason im scare of failure and think im hopeless and losing hope what is the meaning of lifesometimes or every time i tell myselfthis is just a feeling everything will went away and pass well i hopeive been looking for job to keeps me alive without starving but whenever im in a new work place booom anxiety comes again telling me that i should quit and feel does not belongfit where i was it was really tough looking for a job at this moment  i was struggling to get a proper job without changing  months later guess i cant handle people serious situation very well now april  im working for about  but im resigning soon due to depressionanxiety  i cant focus on my workim a failure and deep down im really dissapointed of myself i dont even know what to do anymore,3.0
14791,rockhopper video from disney world florida ����� this video is so cool  thanks orlan httptinyurlcomcexpdn,0.0
14792,deedledeez la la lala la ill text u tonight its horrible im sure ,2.0
14793,crystalemily thank you so much  really appreciate it,0.0
14794,amandajmichalka ohh it would be so amaaaazing  so  do you have a good day,0.0
14795,im sooo sad i didnt go to prom  fuck me atleast im drinking with my girls,2.0
14796,mogvvai like literally almost all of your problems would be solved plus your mental health would get better from ,1.0
14797,coming back from san franphsyco twass veryyy fun except whb i tripped over a planter and ate shit  ,2.0
14798,depression nap  yes,1.0
14799,lisamonetmusic soits what my heart desires for you in the show tomorrowmay the light of nature surround you your heart and soul ,0.0
14800,i feel like a hipster standing in the back with my arms crossed but this band is soo bad ,2.0
14801,i have to things to say to nutburgers maybe and i forgot my stamp ,2.0
14802, days til crc launch ,0.0
14803,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
14804,lol girrl i have no idea  lol it was a nice thought while it lastedd tho ,2.0
14805,anokkai quenblackwell dont let anxiety take over youlike the dog on your display picturetake your headsets an ,2.0
14806,i feel like im losing myself i dont really know how to put it into words but i just feel so lost and separate from myself im no longer myself if that makes sense im just this disgusting body skeleton beneath skin and fat and whatever else a pointless useless spec on this spec of a planet in an everexpanding universe life is nothing i am disgusting repulsive lazy but also nothing and im not sure how much longer i want to be i have a counsellor but in three weeks ill have to decide whether i think i need more help or if ive gotten everything out of it and i know leaving is going to be a bad idea but i just cant be asked with talking to anyone about mental health any longer because nothing helps and nothing makes it go away and it never will i dont even know what im saying nothing makes sense but i just want it all to stop the pain physical and mental the crying the suicidal thoughts the loneliness the being unable to do anything most other people my age are doing everyone else is out there getting their education and having fun with friends and smiling whereas ive not gone to school properly since december  and i havent gotten out of bed since monday only for counselling all i do is alternate between staring at the wall self harming and wishing i could sleep but i cant even do that ive gone from sleeping  hours a day to  hours every other day if lucky im just so worthless and useless like everyone says i do nothing i am nothing i dont know what to do ,3.0
14807,feeling psychotic do not like this one bit time to get drunk but cant  growl sitting in silence is not goood,2.0
14808,just started medication and im tired of being unmotivated im in college and the months roll by but i never accomplish anything my grades have taken a turn for the worse and ive dropped all clubs all antidepressants have done so far is give me this intense headache and make me aware of how little ive accomplished i start therapy soon but i just wish i could fix myself already,3.0
14809,rt clashoffire whats depression likeits like drowning except you can see everyone around you breathingkisses gratefulforstarstu,1.0
14810,meeting rehearsals farmers market ,0.0
14811, owww  it will end soon,2.0
14812,i am worried that my counsellor fancies me i have been seeing a male counsellor since november  i am female in my early  at first it took a while for me to feel comfortable with him because the previous counsellors i had were middle aged christian women he is of a similar age to me i would say in his  has another job working with young adults with autism spectrum disorder similar to myself and we seem to have a similar personality slightly sarcastic silly yet empathic i would like to point out that the service i go to is a charity based organisation and my counsellor works as a volunteer the money i donate goes to the charity rather to my counsellor who i am sure receives next to no money from them also he has never made a sexual advance on me i have told him about my biromantic asexuality and he is accepting of it but recently i have seen the way he looks at me he mentions how i seem to appear more cheerful than i did before we seem to make jokes and laugh during our sessions and he is genuinely a decent person i was incredibly tired and he offered to help me get up out of my chair and when i left he mentioned it was good to see me and seemed to want to keep chatting to me after the end of my session and did lean in quite close to the doorframe as i was heading through the door of course i know how dangerous it can be to have a proper relationship with a counsellor or therapist outside of sessions so i am far from saying i would ever date him however i seem to have told him all of my insecurities and flaws yet this man still seems to respect me is it weird for something to happen between therapist and patient has anyone else had counselling from a charity organisation rather than a paying therapist will this pass should i just accept it and continue sessions as i am really feeling progress is being made or should i find someone else to avoid more complications,3.0
14813,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
14814,im too fucking tired im a sophomore in highschool right now and my life is going downhill last year i was called down to the office due to a high risk of depression luckily the actual counselor wasnt there so i said it was a lack of sleep from a recent trip my family took one of my friends committed suicide and it hurt beyond anything ever it hurt that i understand why he did it it hurt to see people saying oh why did he do this to his family and friends to this day my parents dont know that i struggle on a day to day life bc i fear the repercussions they are first gen immigrants from india and they cant comprehend depression or anxiety and that adds extra stress i have no one to talk to and it hurts somedays i cant breath i try to improve but i always hit a rock and tumble downwards some days i stay awake wondering how to wake up the next day some week go by and everything is decent not good but decent and then the arguing starts i start to feel horrible about myself im always a burden to everyone during those next few weeks and it certainly doesnt help the my parents constantly find something wrong with me thats why im here i need help because im so fucking tired,3.0
14815,i had an awsome dayagain too bad johannerz couldnt come ,2.0
14816,im so sad i wanna give taemin a high five and tell him hes doing great i wanna hug him give him my love,0.0
14817, i really wish i could brazil loves u tay ,0.0
14818,thanks for all of the birthday wishes everyone     now back to me doing nothing hooray,0.0
14819,urbandecay hi kim ,0.0
14820,instagram gives me a lot of anxiety ,2.0
14821,hey anyone have any tips for distracting yourself during bad depressive episodes ive been dealing with depression my whole life and like most people struggle on a daily basis so i was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to distract myself during bad episodes ,3.0
14822,the aircraft was supposed to be the best trans atlantic one ,2.0
14823,trying to hustle and get all my mustdos done before running home hubby wishes i were home half an hour ago or more ,2.0
14824,kind of bored but is too lazy to find something to do ,2.0
14825,just got out of churchwaiting  gabbys call ,0.0
14826,who broke cds or is it just me ,2.0
14827,have any of you taken effexor for depressionanxiety thoughts on it,2.0
14828,chillando in md important meeting tomorrow tryna see where i can get my grad school on at ewww growing up ,2.0
14829,to everyone out there struggling this may sound so basicstupid but get a pair of binoculars and bird watch observe birds there pretty mysterious creatures more so then cats dogs etc get to an open field and watch birds whilst listening to fast paced piano music this may not work with everyone but me and a friend got through it doing that god speed to all of you ,3.0
14830,just got home from the mall and dinner back to work tomorrow ,2.0
14831,im so exhausted but i need to stay strong for them someone close to me that i love dearly is having suicidal thoughts it gets worse at night so many nightmares so much crying and a recent panic attack early today the situation is hard for everyone involved im doing my absolute best to quell any kind of fear this person has about their future but im so tired im constantly reassuring them because i love them but im so tired i havent slept well for weeks when i try im met with headaches and am constantly on edge in case this person needs me at any time of night and i show up i wont ever turn them away but im looking for a community that is going through the same were getting this person professional help but the days and nights until that happens are so long this person has called the hotlines talking about it sometimes eases things other times not they are depressed scared anxious the appointment is next week but each day for them feels like a lifetime and when they tell me they cant do it anymore i strap on my courageous mask and tell them they can again and again i have nothing left for myself is there anyone else going through this is there a support system for people who have to care for others in this situation i know there are anxiety medications but can it help someone this deeply depressed,3.0
14832,how do you deal with someone you care about that tries to make your depression about themselves so i was browsing facebook today and i came upon this article i wanted to read but facebook mobile did that disappearing article thing when you close your phone randomly  from the preview it seemed to address that situation where someone tries to make you feel guilty for being depressed by making it all about themselves  for example talking about how you make them depressed ruins their day and basically making you feel terribly guilty for it like you are some sort of selfish person for being depressed  the article was going to show a response to that situation but i lost the article before i could read it work break was over so i wanted to ask how does that make you feel and how would you respond to this  i have a loved one that does this to me and makes me feel like i am doing it on purpose just to ruin their day or something like that,3.0
14833,i dont know what to do with myself i am a uni student im  ive had mental health issues for years but at the moment i am feeling extremely overwhelmed with it and i dont know what to do i cant find myself to talk to anyone about it im struggling with uni work not the content but actually getting out of bed at a reasonable time and going ive had  operations in the last  years and the most recent one december is still leaving me with a few problems i dont really know what i can do about it right now i can still feel good at times but then afterwards ill just feel consumed i am in a bad position right now where i am relying on stimuli to take my mind off of things the stimuli is not all too harmful weed and alcohol but i know i need to stop doing thisi think this is my little bit of vent but i could really do with some advice on what to do right now ,3.0
14834,youwannatouchit yeeaaa  unfourtunately,2.0
14835,recurrence i feel like my depression is coming backfor some context im  and in  grade ive been suffering from depression since probably  grade but never really realized until last year last year was really bad i made several attempts culminating up to me hiking  hours up a mountain to jump off a building only deciding against it upon concluding that the trees below would likely break my fall leaving me in pain not peace after that i ended up going to an inpatient hospital for about  weeks and i was medicated for a while i voluntarily stopped taking it and i was doing pretty well managing myself i havent cut since the hospital and i was even really happy these past couple months on to the actual topic of this post though  these past couple weeks have been really hard ive recognized my behavior as typical depressed behavior  distancing myself from friends lack of motivation and effort in everything i do i havent slept since around  on saturday its currently  on tuesday i suppose thats helpful for getting to school though i had been late to school almost every day because i was just unmotivated to get up im rambling but i guess i just feel like all my problems are coming right backi dont know what to do ,3.0
14836,markveldhuis haha yeah theyre keep it as close to user experience as they can stable for sure prettier fixes my dvd writer no ,2.0
14837,took a random drive to san fransiscohere for a few nights ,0.0
14838,tattooedbarbie lmao you sillyidk what i want but i will think about life hehe one day ill know whos feeling me ,2.0
14839,my citycarshare pod by my house now has suby outback with ski racks  taking her out north to napa  photo ,0.0
14840,ahhsunrise thats my hint gnight yall ,0.0
14841,rt markdice jack jack many democrats are seeing therapists for their trump anxiety disorder  many are literally mentally ill and yo,2.0
14842,davidlaing dammit i cant believe im going to miss another gala day season ,2.0
14843,miss youhoney ,0.0
14844,jordandoll lol u shoukld show ur big boss that u have packed ur bags already maybe u can help big boss ,0.0
14845,rt theweirdworld the acronym for social anxiety disorder is sad,2.0
14846,is annoyed that ali gets to go to reading when she doesnt i cried when the lostprophets were announced i am soooooo jealous ,2.0
14847,not feeling it tonight ,2.0
14848,hey tweeps  im tired today i hope everyone is enjoying their saturday ,0.0
14849,i got internet back oh man i am on it way too much ,2.0
14850,i want to cut myself ive been having the urge all day take a razor or scissors or knife to my forearms  not to kill but to feel the pain  i have been busying myself with laundry working out and taking down decorationsmy therapy appt is tomorrow and i took my sleeping pills  i hope tomorrow is better,3.0
14851,niquefamous girl  i feel the same type of way ,2.0
14852,back to playing   ciao,0.0
14853,rt nicamora finna be asleep in  seconds but why is it that creatives seem to experience depression the most,1.0
14854,ilaam wendilynnmakeup oh really  so who is doing make up for heroes at the moment,2.0
14855, nice way to spend the day ,0.0
14856,if cairon doesnt go i may well cry  lol yes indeed i am that sad,2.0
14857,roehmjm youre the best i cant wait and while i should be sleeping right now my excitement is keeping me up ugh miss you ,0.0
14858,jolienm and you have  pair of new shoes now sushi and company were great ,0.0
14859,unexplainable negative feelings might be just a friday feeling but today has been very rough been cycling between shame guilt and worthlessness ive taken my meds about an hour ago so im up to date with those i am in the mood where id just like to hide in bed and disappear from the world until i feel normal again,3.0
14860,brentspiner youre in the movie im watching  i am sam ,0.0
14861,this just made my nerves and anxiety so bad httpstcoovjggfvklm,1.0
14862,the deadliest creatures on earth httpbitlyourm  some of them can be vicious i do agree ,0.0
14863,i just realised that i have a crush on my friend hes so damn cute i really need to get some sleep but i cant get him out of my head ,0.0
14864,canadian tourism exposes hidden gems through new campaign  love this ,0.0
14865, unfortunately webcams dont like me i guess there really isnt any room in this world for a beast such as myself ,2.0
14866, it wasnt  bk down again now,2.0
14867,going to go pack be back in a bit ,0.0
14868,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
14869,getting ready to go study outside while having some fun in such a nice sunny day ,0.0
14870,and i wanted to suprise you  some other time i guess,2.0
14871,fear of going outside helloi started to be depressed about  years ago and  years ago it became debilitating i stopped going to work and eventually stopped going outside all togethersearching stuff like this on google is a pita so im wondering is there a specific term for this kind of problem and is there a method of getting past it that is somewhat proven its not a fun state to be in and im not sure what to do i havent gotten my mail in  weeks,3.0
14872,totally jamming out in the car ,0.0
14873,took zac to see night at the museum  was awesome he giggled his little head off  love hope everyone has a great day x,0.0
14874,ahh i love the sun loads ,0.0
14875,rt snodgrasstrump oh yeah theres no racism against whitesjust keep listening to msm lies while the left attack us relentlesslyt,2.0
14876,i hope youre fine dont be sad you and your family must stay strong i love you 😭💜,0.0
14877,rt  visit us today to kick depression in the face  ,2.0
14878,older virgin nothing ever goes right im  and have zero experience  no dates nothing  i have been trying to rectify this in the past few years and in particular the last few months  without a doubt i do not do things the right way which is by meeting women establishing something and going from that  i am not looking for a relationship though just someone who cares  many people do this and some have found successposting online advertising my virginity is what works for me a reddit board exists for this  i have had interest online only not progressed to in person but either they ghosted or i was not interested for whatever reason  last week off another site i got a message from a local woman who seemed interested in being my first from the getgo  she is also looking just for nsafwb even once and thats me as well  we have messaged a ton since then hours per day for the first few including a lot of sexual conversation  we talked about practicalities of having a meet and greet we had planned for tomorrow and also for meeting for sex and other playshe had been saying over the first couple days that she was feeling unwell  then one day she said she went to the er with extreme pain and was told she had a likely benign ovarian tumor  it was removed and she is healing  our convo turned weird today when i was just making conversation about the surgery which she had discussed openly i wasnt going to ask too much about it  she got offended for some reason i know not why and ended the convo for the dayof course this could be for depression issues or stuff related to recovery on her part  she may still be interested  im just not sure i am  i dont know if i can take getting involved in someones life and emotions and such  even though we have a few similar interests i believe our personalities are quite different  we havent talked on the phone yet leading me also to the potential of catfish although my suspicions on that are low  if she gets back in touch tomorrow depending on her attitude i might tell her to put the convo on hold until she feels better  it might be over thoughthis is the closest i have ever been to sex by many miles and at times this week and a half i have been on a high thinking that it was finally going to happen  currently im feeling myself sinking back down to my regular state very depressed  we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming,3.0
14879,aryaditya oh jeez  i just pray you are joking here   youre honestly scaring the shit out of me,0.0
14880,blahhhhh  feel like shit going back to bed not like thats gonna helpp,2.0
14881,hate that i missed laidback luke last night ,2.0
14882,gabrielsaporta not sure if anyone told you this yet but you can watch the vmas on strikegentlycom i saw it up there just now ,0.0
14883,yorkybar me too  it was almost worth getting ill for,0.0
14884,i just want this depression out of me im pretty sure i have depression it sucks i can barely feel anything but sometimes i have mental breakdowns i had one at school it was at the end of the day so so it wasnt so bad basically i have a lot of problems im to lazy to solve cant solve rn can barely even list them all here anyway at this point i just want this thing out of me im thinking of taking st john wart a natural thing that should kinda act as a antidepressant to help it go away but i hear you shouldnt mix it with some prescribed medications i take adhd medication so idk thought id vent,3.0
14885,sexisfuncoochie hey coochiethat site does not appear to iphone ,2.0
14886,good morningfinished drummingim amazed cuz theres like barely any tweets to wake up tonormally theres like  new oneschow fr now ,0.0
14887,day  of depression but in mexico,2.0
14888, we found it rather exciting that we got the same reply from noodlebar wagamama as you did  woop woop ly xxx,0.0
14889,yesterday made a petition for whole class history extensionwe won ,0.0
14890,   the richmond race i love this picture you can see the speed yet you still can see its kasey  go ,0.0
14891,meganthevegan happy birthday sounds like a great day ,0.0
14892,actually i dont want sausages to fatty ooo another break ill go make a brew now ,0.0
14893,iammoniemay yea girl im just going to pick something up though and then im coming right back  im still waiting for yal to come ,2.0
14894,ddlovato   ur sister is so hilarious on desperate housewives so amazing ,0.0
14895,is it normal to feel upset over downvotes sometimes i write a long question or a long thread on reddit and it gets downvoted because people either dont understand me or dislike what i say so i end up deleting my comment or thread is it normal to feel this way or am i just paranoid i feel very stupid for feeling this way,3.0
14896,greeneash you are so beautiful in mtv  i loved your dress ,0.0
14897,i love our blinkies ,0.0
14898,im watching the last few eps of jay leno  so sad he was always my favourite host,2.0
14899,jason is the cute construction guys name  yessssss,0.0
14900,souljaboytellem   looks wickedd  xxxxxxxxxx,0.0
14901,sabrinauno go ghetto and get it i want to get my nails did ,2.0
14902,i was gonna say a sad story but i took a hot shower and now im good self care ukno,0.0
14903,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
14904,rt  my mental health has been declining all week,2.0
14905, sad face today no stone temple pilots tix for me,2.0
14906,wishes she could go to repo this weekend ,2.0
14907,i was having one of my better weeks until tonight its  am on a thursday and yet even though i am exhausted i sit here remembering older times when things were ok i hate when i am left alone with my thoughts especially with music i cannot shake these thoughts and worries i am only  and yet i feel as if i have lived for  years i feel tired and weathered i just want to regain that childhood sense of creativity and innocence i am trapped in my own brain and i despise it,3.0
14908,im losing touch with reality ive started to isolate myself from my friends theyve noticed that ive been acting different  i cant keep up the persona i use around them anymore  they never gave a shit about me anyway  its been so long since ive talked to anyonecutting doesnt make me feel good anymore  it used to be a rush now its just painful  i cant cry either  i have no way to copei dont think im capable of caring about anyone  i just cant feel emotions like that no matter how hard i try  i dont think i was meant to  im just a onedimensional characteron my bad days i start to think that someone will appear from behind a corner and tell me that this life was just a test or something then theyll give me a new personality and a purpose in life  it just feels like theres no way i could be this inconsequentialsorry for unloading this string of thoughts on you,3.0
14909, least you are being productive amp earning money not just sitting around wasting your life doing nothing ,0.0
14910,i dont know what i feel i have no idea how to explain this but its a constant feeling of nothing but still something this is really hard to put into words but everything hurts mentally and physically i have no energy and dont even leave my bed anymore things i used to love dont matter anymore nothing matters but still everything does i dont even know myself feels like dying is the only way out of this hole i have dug for myself i cant do it to everyone but i just feel so alone im just pushing everyone who loves me slowly away till no one cares about me and then i can let go i can be free of my pain,3.0
14911,accepting that im worthless hope is hopeless ive been told all my life to have faith and things take time im a  year old woman and im better off dead no one wants me and no one ever will the only times ive been worth anything were the four occasions of childhood sexual abuse yes four times by four different people i guess i never learned my lesson im single and childless and this is my reality everyone keeps telling me someone is out there for you yet each of them have been with their significant other since high school no one even approaches me just like you have to accept your height your skin color the shape of your eyes i think its time i accept that im not worth looking at talking to or loving im not worth the air i breathe or the ground i stand on i contribute nothing to this world or anyone around me which i why im always rejected all i have is my job so im going to make that my life and hopefully my employer doesnt realize that im worthless to them to im just counting the days until im dead,3.0
14912,google maps data api is only a kind oh kml repositorythere is no relations between different quotmapsquot and neither geospatial operations ,2.0
14913,physical symptoms of depression i have been to the doctor multiple times in the last couple months for a variety of physical symptoms latest doctor suspects im depressed but im not sure what are the main physical symptoms you all are dealing withthanks,3.0
14914,rt  dommytrill thebeyrose thekayybella ,2.0
14915,ihaps morning mate i see theyve fixed the quotshowing where tweets are fromquot problem ,0.0
14916,jamesbuckley whats not to believe  digging the stubble u getting a beard on the go again  ,0.0
14917,nickcarter goodnight nick ,0.0
14918,thinkatheist that was a really good blog  it made me think about my childhood thanks for posting that ,0.0
14919,lilylauren closest ive found to favouriting a dm is to keep the notification email  ok its not twitter but at least you keep the msg ,0.0
14920,just couldnt keep it together today ,2.0
14921,vobes  appears to be a dead link ,2.0
14922,cancelled another night cross country what a surprise i love my job so much at the moment ,2.0
14923,buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppexcuse me ,0.0
14924, not as much money for vegas as once thought,2.0
14925,so torn love sveta and so happy for her but dinara  so harsh,2.0
14926,ideas wanted im documenting my struggle with mental illness but i also want my personal experiences to help others who are in similar situations what would you want to see so this past academic school year my mental state has been lured to the dark abyss and peered into it way too many times but its also the first time ive actively began making lifestyle changes that i hope will correspond to alleviating symptoms right now is especially a weird time for me this is probably the most emotionally stable ive felt in terms of the calendar year and ive received quite a few grad school acceptances but at the same time my doctor has diagnosed me with malnutrition and is forcing me into hospitalization if i dont gain x pounds in y days im also beginning visits to potential phd programs which my parents are freaking out over and i think this is the perfect time to start a blog ill be documenting my experiences which will hopefully be helpful to some maybe to my parents tbh and it will definitely provide me with a source for emotional catharsis but i also want to tackle some overarching questions debates and issues surrounding mental disordersso my question to you all is if you were a reader of such a blog what kinds of questions would you want to see answered or what kinds of personal experiences such as with therapy meds school etc would you be interested in reading about that may relate to something youre going through now,3.0
14927,im following back everyone that follows me  myspace friends ask me how in a message ,0.0
14928,sibbi you should chill with me ,0.0
14929,dont know what i want to do after high school anymore ,2.0
14930,i have someonessomethingsspecial watching over me if i faulter theyre their to break my fall thank you  good night ,0.0
14931,damn need to take my car to the garage  epc is flashing,2.0
14932,phantomsmask did you ever see star trek might be something to do in your post wisdom teeth era  it is very good,0.0
14933,morning good tweeps lets thank god for yet another day have blessed one in everything you are going to do and ach ,0.0
14934,rt survivingmypast anxietys lies im not good enough  httpstcozosftdynrs read on gtgt  anxiety chronicblogs mentalhealth ,1.0
14935,thinking next week might make pasta and bolognaise with lots of herbs  to reheat so if we are late can also be eaten cold ,0.0
14936,woah wayward made it on smartpunkcoms unsigned best sellers list i am so stoked  thank you all soooo much,0.0
14937,overwhelming unending numbness my final semester of college started back up recently im  weeks in and have felt almost no happiness since the first day during the first week i was overly stressed which manifested as highenergy aggression since then its been nothing but numbness meditation used to work and leave me feeling relaxed for a couple days but the peace i feel after doing it lasts only an hour at most there isnt enough time to do my hobbies and even if there was i dont have any desire to do them i just want to stay in bed all day and night cuddling my stuffed animals and cat the classes im taking are interesting but i dont feel the passion i used to i loved school but now i dread getting up every morning its the same thing every day school work homework study i know i have support family friends boyfriend but paradoxically i feel so so alone i miss being passionate and having energy i miss being happy,3.0
14938,ashleyyosaurus lol i dont mind if someone doesnt like hsm thats a preference thing but to say theyre not talented makes me ,2.0
14939,perezhilton the black eyed peas suck totally crappy that your trip to toronto turned out like this ,2.0
14940,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
14941, day ,2.0
14942,overslept and am late for the gym and thus work ,2.0
14943,jackie yay cept hes notgonna come here ,2.0
14944,thinking about how much i dont want everyone to graduate tomorrow some of my best friends are leaving amp things will never be the same ,2.0
14945,apple broke  today im really enjoying this ,0.0
14946,putting together my patio furniture from crate amp barrell  im so handy ,0.0
14947,ive heard basment jaxxs new song quotraindropsquotthats fantastic and makes me dancing  i cant wait fuji rock festival,0.0
14948,lmehdi happy i wanna get home to test the new lens ,0.0
14949, magic mountain more exciting cause of how high we were ,0.0
14950,visionofxtasy this shit gives me anxiety,2.0
14951,lifes weird preface  american male currently unemployedi had a suicide attempt a couple years backmy first and moved to oregon with family as a change in scenery i took up weed i smoked a loootttttt while i lived there some weeks id have half a gram or just some resin and the next id have an ounce or half oz i also took up kratom  months back amp it insanely helped my social anxiety amp mood amp interests i quit when i moved back home this last halloween of  stopped kratom bc i felt the withdrawal really hard well needless to say i moved back to the midwest and weed doesnt just come my way in large amounts or barely any at all but i just dont know what to do anymore i run out of weed and get sent into this spiral of boredom depression amp what id describe as mental despair i started experimenting after halloween with other drugs because im just always so bored or justdepressed amp uninterested in things only really messed with a few substances and never stuck with em bc they were one try experiences benzos made me lose a lot of my materialistic things during a week long binge amp i took a vyvanse for the first timenever done any amphs and jeeesssuuusss i feelhere im much less depersonalized im not really lacking in appetitemaybe slightly i ate  times after amp i feel like things are more colored amp vibrant now every time i went outside i felt connected to my surroundings amp related to everything random urban settings or a snowy day in my outside garage smoking a cigarette just made me feel like things were so artistic i hit up friends and am out with them rambled plenty too i have trouble with going out a lot even tho i hate being home amp im realizing my bipolar type  disorder a lot more since quitting kratom my social anxiety skyrocketed amp my motivation to even lay up in bed just comes and goes throughout the week i hate it just laying there in the quiet its fucking hell im scared to leave my friends tonight and go back home and just distract myself with video games which was my escape but god it feels like staring at a blank screen now ive noticed how i also kind of its weird for me to explain but lose control of my ramblings amp feel blinded by false confidence sometimes and ill think back to those moments and just cringe at myselfmaybe weed made me enjoy the video games ive played much longer than i would have sober but i dont know how to how to spend my time without a computer amp internet since elementary school its like walking in pure darkness i dont know what to do or where to go or how to keep myself busy got plenty of hobbies that always come and go edit thanks to anyone reading my looonnngggg post and especially for any comments dont rly know how to shorten it while im on this vyvanse probably even off of it but yeah before weed was an endless depression with short bursts of hypomania amp intense disinterest in anything that wasnt video games now me no interested in them now me feel despair a lot now me always always always want weed now me posting here on a mild mental speedwagon ,3.0
14952,arrrgh sorry everyone gaokao should be tomorrow instead of today thanks filmstory ,0.0
14953, forreal but in reality nobody gives a shit about them being mad sad or waking up in a bad mood lol,2.0
14954,bsegil buy me something good ben  i have a black car too,0.0
14955,angryfeet ooh am i an occasional journaloust because im an occasional journalous or just because of my post number ,0.0
14956,friday madness again  office weheheh ,0.0
14957,i am exhausted barely got any sleep last night from the weather radio going off every  minutes ,2.0
14958,ddlovato  days untill your concert in boston cant wait to hear your new songs  yipeeeee ,0.0
14959,so very much makes me so happy ,0.0
14960,flat ironing thee hair ,0.0
14961,inaperfectworld i would have a job ,2.0
14962,medication advice please pristiq hello all i am looking for a little bit of insight i am on day  of  mg pristiq so far it has made me feel very strange and tired i am curious as to what your personal stories are with this medicine i did a genesight test and this was the script my doctor called in basically i feel very lousy i know with antidepressants it gets worse before it gets better but i just feel so lousy and strange words of encouragement to stick through it andor advice are more than welcomethank you so much in advance and my heart goes out to everyone feeling the way we do  ,3.0
14963,im enjoying the cloudy sunday evening in kuala lumpur while waiting for mariahs ntt game hehe ,0.0
14964, u r a very lucky girl uve time for tv and internet njoy till uve itpoor guys like me hardly get any time ,2.0
14965,shelbster i applaud your skill and song selection ,0.0
14966,dannywood thats the right way indeed keep it up  love the result ,0.0
14967,colinkelly all the more reason to do ur highers later in lifevodka is a great study     ml measurei got an a in maths ,0.0
14968,jewtubedotcom youre welcome and have a good week too ,0.0
14969,i am fucking pissed off at caliam  macs eating alone ,2.0
14970,i dont like myself and i want to change im seeking advice on how to change myself for the better anytime ive tried to seek out help either from people irl or from online sources ive been told i just have bad self esteem but thats not it i dont hate myself and i recognize that i have positive qualities i just dont like parts of me and i want to change whenever ive tried to make a change for the better ive always met with failure and i go back to my old ways im not sure why i struggle to make new habits or find the motivation to change but any advice you could give would be appreciated,3.0
14971,📉 my mental health no thanks to that flaming cheetoh were forced to call president,1.0
14972,am i the only one that feels when it is coming i feel it is coming i have been fine for a couple of months but gosh i hate that feeling that knowing youre gonna get strucked by it,3.0
14973,can you vacuum up an anxiety attack lol,2.0
14974,gore thats not good  remember you have to be at my house at  today,2.0
14975, sure ill see what i can do in the later part of my life  you should try out our country too we just love visitors ,0.0
14976,mrspinkyivory it wasnt stupidbut muy evil and the ending was madd crazy im so scared to go to sleep nowima bout to get my baby ,0.0
14977,natasjacupcake i got yours but not cindys     or i got one but not the other,2.0
14978,antoniogascon it was super delicious rachel was super nice and helped us pay for the rest and im super scared ,2.0
14979,i feel like shit because i unknowingly did a shit thing sorry this is my first time posting and i still dont know if venting here will make me feel better but i wanted to try it anywayi came home from a shit day of school i was feeling miserable and after dotting myself with several small holes with a pencil i logged on to play a game and i saw that someone i love playing with was on and i invite them and they join and for a while were playing until i get off to take a break i make a joke that at first i didnt think was offensive and i definitely didnt mean it to be offensive and i said sorry to multiple people who were confused that i was even messaging it to them and everything went to shit and now im sitting here with a pencil again with more and more small holesi just wanted to put this somewhere i dont know what to do and im paranoid that i have lost what i can consider one of my better friends to a silly joke,3.0
14980,ohmes keep strong baby btstwt dont be sad 👍👍🐯💜,1.0
14981,just some thoughts in my mind sometimes i just think how am i going to survive in the future seems impossible am i ever going to get out of this hole will i ever get better because i feel like one of these days im just going to end it all the fear of pain is stopping me from doing iti feel like such a burden to everyone,3.0
14982,getting music updated finally ,0.0
14983,away to get ready and go into town must be crazy going on a saturdayscreaming kids galorecant wait   ,2.0
14984,wishing i had a bit more energy to be a bit more creative tonight bring on that long weekend ,0.0
14985,sitting at my desk at work wishing i was home taking care of my very sick husband ,2.0
14986,cezzab if it is hot and warm you better watch out with the alcohol to  glass is then double ,0.0
14987,our house was robbed last night ,2.0
14988,i need help its all my own pathetic fault tho i could really use someone to talk to preferably someone who can give me insight on losing your family wife and son theyre not gone but through my blackouts aggression and abuse ive been trying my hardest to get them back and then i go and make the same mistake i really dont know why im sooo stupid  they know i love them and i show them every single day how much i do its just when i finally do something bad its at an unforgettable and unforgivable level i dont know why i amthe way i am i build something up so great for months the love the trust the bright future everything seems to be falling into place and then it happens i regret it when its to late i fear ive lost them forver im going to be joining the service very soon but i dont know how well of a choice that is i love my family with my whole heart and do everything in my life for them but when i fuck up i make them think i dont care and it kills me inside becuase they are the literal reason for anything positive in my life without them i feel like i have no willingness to do anything for myslef no motivation its just blank nothingness because im trying to distract myslef from the sadness of their absence i care bout myself but the love i have in my heart for my family is what fuels me and pushes me to to better every single day it is what i live for their smiling faces the laughs the warm embraces of love and just knowing that i can make there lifes better but like i said i am stupid and ive been trying to change personally i think ive came along way but at this point im no longer getting the love like i used to the smiles are less frequent the warmth of them fades away more and more and now that im almost there to getting myslef figured out and under control its too latei still love them all the same but i no longer and getting any back i dont deserve it what do i do when i lose faith they know and see the efforts theyre just tired of fearing me the worst part is i hated my dad for doing it to my mom and the memory is with me to this day and now my son made me realize that im just like he was i know exactly how he feels and it kills me inside i was never as bad as my dad and my mom is still with him so maybe just maybe i have hope low and behold he is better now luckily my mom never gave up on him i just hope she dont give up on me and i can make it better too but i cant expect her to ever forgive me becuase i cant forgive myslef,3.0
14989, kellie has to go for bloodwork today too hers is a long ouch  and she doesnt know it yet she wont be happy,2.0
14990,shaundiviney woooot woooot ,0.0
14991,this is not the moment to run through i checklist i guess   ,0.0
14992,sno buffy i cant open the pic there is no pic  what is it,2.0
14993,geo is such a bitch to mee he hates me ,2.0
14994,watched last two episodes of prison break earlier cant believe what happens at the end  the end of a era ,2.0
14995,mrchrisaddison  well i thought it was funny ,0.0
14996,mchesner  so you changed the tire but did not have time to email your mom  i am such a mommy  ,0.0
14997,flopped set and guy hit flush out ,2.0
14998,brrr im freezing cold air  dress  not fun ,2.0
14999,is bummed i was invited to secondshoot w the awesome laurence kim  wwwlaurencekimcom and had to decline coz date was booked ,2.0
15000,any suggestions for a victory song  weeeeeeeeeeeeeee,0.0
15001,rt mistercakerz did the sleeppositionmeme by   it me sleeping away my anxiety i mean sleeping from a hard day of wor ,2.0
15002,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
15003,glasgeee unfortunity im in coursework hell again so im unable to attend pretty much anything that involves drinking so i can do cw ,2.0
15004,im sooo bored   being sick sucks,2.0
15005,mileycyrus   i love miley she has a beautiful smile please dont hate on her ,2.0
15006,home mcdonalds dinner again im so tired and drowsy i cant think of anything else to eat or make sad ,2.0
15007,rt dimefred dice manuel bartlett que las críticas por su designación en la cfe son estúpidas y que provienen de la derechajajajajaja,1.0
15008,hey annaleigh  im gonna hear your phone vibrate,0.0
15009,tired but i cant get to sleep ,2.0
15010,jennysunphoto yes its sad no one tweet about my talk ,2.0
15011,kcghosthunters ill ask around to see if anyone wants to get back to you ,0.0
15012, gosh whats wrong people are posing as you or something  in any case i dont like posers too,2.0
15013,hankhudson no ,2.0
15014,where is the sun ,2.0
15015, awww  okay thanks,2.0
15016,lippmania it was a wsop qualifier you drove a bus fromto a wedding why amp where is wedding i love weddings  wish i were having one,2.0
15017,am i the only one who thinks something is funny but doesnt even giggle me damn that was funnymy face ,3.0
15018,happy bday amywhere every you are ,0.0
15019,keiarose aww  now  gotta mk sure they didnt unfllw after i hit that buton tho,2.0
15020,just need to get this off my chest hi all i hope you all are having a good day    im not really this is not really a cry for help i just need to have things said that i cant easily say in real life    i have been living with and not dealing with depression for quite some time that last part is something i have come to realise over the last couple of months for the most part is isnt really impacting my life much just that my room is a pigsty and my bathroom hasnt been cleaned in forever    i have a few friends mostly colleagues they help me get through the day work for me is a better place to be that at home at home im alone with my thoughts and i try and do things but rarely have any energy to do anything im into gaming and i usually start a game and quit after a few minutes    i like reading and writing i havent done anything productive with that in area    i have always had a dislike of dealing with official things and they cause me quite a bit of anxiety now i have had to deal with that because of some semirelated things going on    the main reason why i am unable to discuss this in real life is im one of those people others go to for advise i have given advise and people have taken is on relationships have not been able to have a long term one yet medical issues mental issues yeah and i am the go to guy at work for basically anything most days i can easily cope but im struggling today    im giving training to  people and im fighting to not burst into tears im  years old and a guy    i hope this actually helps ,3.0
15021,gossipgirl in italy we r still waitn for second serie ,2.0
15022,ajmcleanteam haha i neamed one after  and one after him haha ,0.0
15023,trying to find an esa instead of meds for the longest time ive tried keeping this under control but it seems its out of my hands i dont want to go back on meds because ive taken them most of my childhood and they make me feel inhuman so my only logical option is an emotional support animal i lived in kansas city mo and i have no idea where to start looking or what i need or where to find a trained esa or how to begin training someone plz help would be much appreciated,3.0
15024,gabesonanosebag i understand that statement is it from anywhere ,0.0
15025,my post on suicide please dont read if youre pc or looking to argue  depression sad ,2.0
15026,no sleep just design  love it,0.0
15027,today will be the day i end it why is it never enough ive spent my whole life trying to keep everyone around me happy i finally thought everything was coming together i have a girlfriend of two years that thus far is amazing weve even been looking for places to move in together then i started the new job for the first  months i was on a  schedule which lined up with hers while i was in training so we were pretty well together every day and now tomorrow i start on a  shift which means i wont be able to see her or stay with her as often normally wouldnt be a problem but now within the last  hours shes gotten super hostile and talking like she wants to leave me im only so strong i cant do this i wont do this,3.0
15028,riffy so u just gon abandon us ,2.0
15029,dili sad ko ganahan maglaag kay kapoy tapos init hahahaha,2.0
15030,im so sick of waking up every morning and living this life big boy vent aheadim a  almost  year old dude and im just so tired of it all im such a useless piece of shit im a sophomore in college im failing all my classes for a second semester in a row im so done with college i hate it so much i cant even make myself get out of bed to go to class i just wake up lay there for a few hours until i work up the energy to stand up and walk to my computer and play games for the rest of the day i have been to two colleges and have made zero friends at either all my friends go to other colleges or are in the military stationed far away we still play games together but its not the same i honestly love my friends and i miss them i miss high school i miss my girlfriend i was planning on marrying until we went to separate colleges and she met someone else i just want to go back to the good days of goin to school not really caring about it hangin our with my friends and gf and just doing whatever but i cant its over the best part of my life is over people say it will get better but it wont ill never reach the level of happiness i was at i just dont want to do anything anymore i dont want to deal with the burdens of adult life most people accept it but i cant i just want to go back i dont want to kill myself but i dont want to be alive either i wish i could give my life to someone who would use it better than i im sick of wasting food and clean air and other resources better people could be using im a waste im a waste of space im a waste of flesh and organs that could have been used to create a better man or maybe i could have donated organs to save someone that was actually doing something with their livesim fucking stupid everyone thinks about their futures i can barely think a couple hours a head like i said im failing all my classes and now im going to be in so much debt because college isnt working out and i wont even have a degree to show for itive lost my ability to talk to people and make connections in high school id say i had a lot of friends and a great girlfriend i dont blame her for leaving me im sure the guy she found is a thousand times better than me that was a year and a half ago and there has been one girl ive even attempted talking to irl it didnt lead to anything ive talked to a few girls on dating apps but none have led to anything either im talking to one currently but im sure im like the  dude shes talking to rn been thinking id save her and i the trouble of my retarded ass trying to ask if she wants to hangout and just block her on snapchat whats the point shes just gonna ghost me once i doim so unattractive in high school i was  lbs since my breakup which really triggered this depression ive went up to  then back down to  and right about now im back up to  again im so sick of being a disgusting fat piece of shit but i cant make myself diet or exercise i just feel ugly my face isnt right i dont take care of my skin i look stupid like an ogrei hate my roommate he drives me insane he blasts country music on this big fucking speaker and repeats the same  things over and over like they are actual interesting hes so fucking racist man he once asked me to go to dinner with him and some of his friends and he proceeded to just go on a big rant about how much he hates black people in the middle of the dinning halljust one instance i cant believe ive made it this long living with him without roping he wont stop telling me how ill be worthless without a college degree and how his goal is to make  a year working for tesla ya ok buddy him his gf and his friend honest to god sat there the other day making fun of how much i play video games and how shitty im doing in school while i just sat therei see a therapist but i hate it i got a prescription for medication but they dont do anything just talking to my friends while playing games legit helps me way more than my parents paying for expensive therapy it just feels like its paying to be judged by some random ass dudei just hate everything about my life right now and i needed to rant sorry its long it took all two of my brains cells working at  of their power to write that i just dont even have a reason to do anything because dont care but i dont know why i dont know what to do,3.0
15031, im mad at myself i havent stopped smoking yet havent actually bought any but i know too many people who smoke,2.0
15032,ouch  hours working in retail standing on your feet that doesnt seem fun arg    ,2.0
15033,skywalkergirl yeah finally  i�m sooooo happy for you ,0.0
15034,ayudevina im moving to a new city in  days and im gonna miss my family and friends ,2.0
15035,davinaleefilms we are here for you ,0.0
15036,tweet me this twollar me that  this is where the good stuffs at  rt sophiereed,0.0
15037,i bought my cat laser mouse thing she is going nuts its awesome ,0.0
15038,znatrainer thank you dear obrigada ,0.0
15039,chxnabera good night mwah ,0.0
15040,imthedude frozen margeritas mmm yummy in my tummy o and beer ,2.0
15041,im really leaving bros gonna use the laptop  buhbye,2.0
15042,i think paris hilton should be my bff ,0.0
15043,siwhitehouse and you cant even blame the beer ,0.0
15044,rt nicolaxxx even the happiest place in the world cant kill depressionan eyeopening message by vm ,1.0
15045,im so tired of being lonely im depressed im sad most of the time im not pleasant to look at im not pleasant to talk to if this is the way i am why in the fuck do i still desire a connection so much i generally dont like people but apparently i need them why does being alone cause me so much fuxking pain i hate this so much,3.0
15046,i feel like a burden on my family im  poor ugly few qualifications and no job i apply for absolutely everything and get nothing back every trick in the boom has been tried but its been made entirely obvious that the market wants nothing to do with me i have nothing to do but collect benefits and mope around my mothers house our relationship is mostly good but shes also a little old fashionedwhat the hell do i do in this situation im just so utterly stuck ive applied to go back into education for maths and english in hopes that will make my cv not shit but she insists i just need to volunteer whenever the subject comes up we argue about it everyone in my family has something except me even my sister whos  years younger than meliterally the only thing keeping me anchored to this world is utilitarianism my death would cause a net increase of suffering which i will not knowingly add to if i didnt have cripplingly flat feet which makes walking and being in my feet torturous id honestly join the army,3.0
15047,hey phish nothing here   phishtube broadcast live gt ,2.0
15048,rt amusingdobrik im sad and the ending fuck ,2.0
15049,ugh i hate work amp the rain its all good though tonight is a tcb night  ,0.0
15050,nkmamma ty happy mothers day to you too love yacel ,0.0
15051,tiaswagger i been busy as hell i got  jobs right now and  da new one i cant use my phn ,2.0
15052,home bout to take a shower charge my phone and talk to my homie from philly ,0.0
15053,    feeling strangely fine now im gonna go listen to some semisonic to celebrate,0.0
15054,jangles re phorm  been looking for reference which is less controversial    desktop apps which could be re ,2.0
15055,federer wins french open  equals sampras record of  gs  tennis,0.0
15056,i see booster juice cups littered on the street that means boster juice is open too bad i cant make it there before work ,2.0
15057,meetings all day and i am grateful ,0.0
15058,off to the gymyay ,2.0
15059,off to eat now then orchestra will be back online later ,0.0
15060,mileycyrus   cant see it ,2.0
15061,i dont want corona virus but i the thought of quarantining myself for two weeks sounds appealing i would like to spend  weeks at home not working or leaving the house and not interacting with anyone without the sickness,3.0
15062,  another one ,0.0
15063, well a bit late but subway springs to mind ,0.0
15064,been watching homeless videos for the last few hours and damn i take everything for granted some of these people a ,2.0
15065,i need help for my friend asap hello everyone my friend is in dire need of help she has been having suicidal thoughts for months her mom doesnt really think its that bad and her dad has no clue what is going on shes always had depression but it has ramped up since her boyfriend cheated on her and broke up with hershe lives two hours away and i dont know what to do or say to her nothing she does makes her happy and she says that im the only one there for her should i reach out to her dad on social media because she needs help fastplease help thanks in advance,3.0
15066,hey look  i found my social anxiety again was wondering where that went,2.0
15067,chicago trip cancelled due to crummy weather and crummy sleep  ,2.0
15068,in trying to justify my health anxiety i am pretty sure i made a meow teen revisit his scare of taking that crap for nearly a year oops ,1.0
15069,i dont have allyevans with me so im using google to do a crossword puzzle ,2.0
15070,liishaa awww cool idk why lol ,2.0
15071,im honestly done why even try to be anything anymore clearly life was never meant for me so fuck it im done trying to make something of myself when it will never really happen,3.0
15072,hasnt gotten too far on her cleaning but has certainly caught up on some much needed sleep ,0.0
15073,people love edward cullen not robert pattinson im proud to say that im on team jacob  oh that taylor lautner is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine ,0.0
15074,rt zonumettevy sharika aka  has been hospitalized for attempted suicide  why now after appearing to have a burst of drag,2.0
15075,ninjamoeba ok but  why  i thought i was agreeing with you,2.0
15076,what side effects did you experience in your first few weeks of using prozac im just getting back on prozac  trying to work back up to  and the first time i didnt really experience anything aside from sleep issues but they kind of went away eventually now ive experienced dark urine tmi sorry after i use the restroom most recently after taking my meds the rest of the day its normal  ive also had some bad anxiety for the past two weeks but its been the same pretty much through using prozac my heads felt cloudy and kind of full like yknow when ur head feels congested when you have a cold like that ive also had a loss of appetite and when i try to eat i feel kind of nauseous havent thrown up so far but ive eaten pretty minimally over the past  days i also have been getting minor headaches in the front and topmiddle of my head not together separately ive had a pretty shitty time sleeping too i cant tell if most of the anxietyheadacheshead cloudiness are just because of my anxiety over the symptoms but they do seem to subsidenot be noticeable when im not feeling anxiety or am distracted and moving i think the headaches could be due to lack of sleep as well tho ive asked a doctor about these symptoms and am waiting an answertldr im experiencing some symptoms i didnt experience my first time taking prozac and im taking the minimum dose what were some side effects you experienced when starting prozac,3.0
15077, aww thanks go look at mileys new tweet its got to do with nick j ,0.0
15078,been depressed half my life i dont think i can continue such a miserable life anymore im turning  this year guys i didnt think this was going to hit me hard until this year came around im sorry if this ends up being annoying to read usually im all over the place and cant be organized still i feel i need to write something my family moved from the us to my home country a nordic country where i had no knowledge of the language i still cant speak the language well enough in the beginning it was fine i was depressed but managed to have a social life eventually i lost a lot of friends due to bad behaviour and drug abuse i dont really have friends anymore except one i talk on the phone with a few times a weekive never held on to a job longer than  months i did poorly in school so i didnt continue past  grade more and more i am cutting myself off from everything this is a big problem because i am a mother i am so embarrassed i cant even write this out without crying it truly is humiliating so i make no livingi stay home most of the day doing nothing theres always a plan to start doing something to work on myself to connect to people again deep down i truly feel like its too late ive tried therapy medication exercise sure it works for a while its like i expect to faili dont have much of a relationship with my family i talk to my siblings occasionally i was close with my aunt who was helping me learn to knit she was amazingly talented she died in novemberwhat else is there more to say i feel like i am failing myself and my children i feel like its too late to turn my life around its selfish for sure but i do think maybe ending my life could solve this im just so tired i dont want to hurt anyone but i feel like i could do more damage if i stick around wow this post really sucked lol  if you read any of it thank you is there any hope for a  year old loser,3.0
15079,etherjammer just feeling shitty ,2.0
15080,copacavanna oh i hope they found her id hate to be living with that fams nightmare ,2.0
15081,rt cloutlesskert me waking up in the middle of the night due to anxiety and stress ,2.0
15082,boringkris we should swap jobs mind you im crap at fixing stuff ,2.0
15083,i got nap again  so my iphone have  i got wit listen  or imeemlol  holla,0.0
15084,perfect fit right for my situation i meant ,0.0
15085,foodtank the relationship between depression and healthy foodit was interesting,0.0
15086,guitarherodevs thanks for eagles of death metal no thanks for no talking heads   ,2.0
15087,from now on i will be focusing on my mental and physical health anyone who also wants this it would be great for you to do it with me,0.0
15088,lying in bed watching csi  i feel like shit  xx,2.0
15089,que sad que en mi cumple voy a trabajar 😔,2.0
15090,doogsatx guess well have to wait for a playoff win to get some of that action ,2.0
15091,ughconfused again ,2.0
15092,how do i talk to my parents about depression ever since i got to college im two semesters in ive noticed myself struggling with these intense emotional pits that i can only categorize as depression but i have not been formally diagnosed i have however been diagnosed with anxiety the dad and older brother also have anxiety and we all take the same medicine but having struggled with anxiety for so long this new creature feels entirely different i find no joy in the things i used to look forward to i find myself getting incredibly irritable at the slightest change in my environment etc tldr i havent been feeling my best and i need to talk to someonemy school offers counseling services for free but im not really comfortable going to them without telling my family first i tell my mom everything but each time ive tried tentatively approaching the topic with her recently she deflects the conversation it minimizes what im feeling it makes me feel like im crazy and i dont have any reason for feeling this way that im making it upanyway i wanted to ask if maybe its better to really sit down with my parents and talk to them about how ive been feeling or just try to deal with this on my own im really scared i dont feel like myself and i feel like im hiding this ugly beast in my closet that i need to let out help  ,3.0
15093,i wonder how much the summer program in italy costs at sva im sure more than  ,2.0
15094,the  told me quoti love you momquot for the first time today ,0.0
15095,whats it even matter anymore im not happy with the life ive built im not okay with the fact that my friends are dead i hate that i lost the only girl ive ever loved i hate that im  and a complete alcoholic and a drug addict i hate what im studying in college i hate my temp job as i get older i get freaked out because i have nothing to show for it and really all i have is my bad habits it just sucks that im not alone in this and that theres no honest way out ,3.0
15096,rocksteaddy haha this is cute ,0.0
15097,gulnawaz nope nothing yet ,2.0
15098,myself hello i am hunter and i am depressed i still go go school and speaking of that i feel like everyone views me as the weird one the one who never talks and when he does hes just cringey and self absorbed im that one nerdy kid people only seem just to act nice toward and only talk to sometimes even when they do i cant even be myself and hold an interesting enough conversation to keep them therenobody really talks to me much i mean there are some who do one of them my friend who i feel has a negative influence on me i do have a couple of friends but mostly other people dont really talk to me i really honestly just dont know how to be myself how to stop trying to impress all da women i do not know what to do anymore,3.0
15099,themasonmusso cant believe i couldnt get a ticket for dublin show been a big fan from ireland for so long ,2.0
15100,omg dustin hoffman on jross talking about sod beating rafa why is this haunting me    ,2.0
15101,i cant life anymore the frustration of being untethered to life floating away and still failing at disappearing is unmatched,3.0
15102,jdrummond jkello is always an easy target ,0.0
15103,its hard when ya family addicted to drugs and living on the streets  sad to see how life chew n spit people out like that,1.0
15104,retweeting joeysmith quoteveryone has a photographic memory some dont have filmquot  this is me lol ,0.0
15105, ,0.0
15106,gotup late todayvery late  back hurtsneed to work todaytime management is the key,2.0
15107,nerve cracking newsss  the official new moon trailer is here  cant wait for the movie,0.0
15108,is ill and is working all weekend ,2.0
15109,rt depresseddarth therapist what have you been doing to relieve stressme ,1.0
15110,i may be heartbroken but im still that bitch that really sad bitch,2.0
15111,i am so so sad so so sad sad so sad ugh so sad,2.0
15112,ensredshirt aw that sucks nate  at least it isnt any worse than just a cut,2.0
15113,the best part of the day is nighttime i love darkness i feel like i can hide i sometimes wish i had a room that could always be dark,3.0
15114,going to coffee connections ,0.0
15115,trying to get a babysitter and be  and   enjoy this amazing weather,0.0
15116,rt ziwe sadgressive adj a moment of progressive social reform that is sad when you consider contextsentence it is sadgressive th,0.0
15117,i just dont feel like being here anymore this isnt like a suicide thing or whatever but i feel like theres no point for me to even be here i recently got out of a toxic relationship during the summer and looking to start a new one with a clean slate and a clear conscious and positive individuality im not looking for dating advice because im not an incel i am confident in my self to find someone its just this girl i wanna be with her but she constantly wants to be alone or something almost intrested with working with teachers and a few of her friends shes a  quite person but i love her but fuck it whatever your just gonna say shes not intrested or respect her space because all people do is shrug there shoulders at me and recite there bullshit political pronoun shit till they kill themselvesi have responsible i get straight bs in school i do my work on time i take care of my pets in the morning and afternoon i change there food and water and i talk to them i value them there almost the reason i havent pulled the trigger metaphor just to end it all i complain and they listen i bet your gonna say oh its all good developing a positive relationship with your pet or whatever or your just a psycho that can take criticism or your just a moody teenager butmaybe your rightthey talk over me alot i try to talk but they just ignore me i dont consider them friends anymore one of my closest friends has a leftist god complex randomly defending anything no matter the absurdity but ironically hates furrys which makes it enjoyable he is close but hes narcissism makes me wanna like leave but he has a similar go get em attitude to me maybe thats why i dont dislike him i have another friend hes tremendously more open minded than the previous we talk we debate and conclude like functioning members of society which dont result to tribalism one is just im not even sure how to describe him friend one hates him but he is a bit of a degenerate but that would be hypocritical but anyways all you need to know is they talk over me i tried all the advice people gave me yet nothing worked i know it requires patience but damn  months is alot of time tell me am i wrong for feeling like this or just existing in general can i love her can i abandon them can i die what happens if i die no one will give a shit oh he died of what a shame he was a good kid there was no sighn of hi bullshit will she love me no i thought so if i dont become active for more than a few months than you know what happened you could investigate through my profile but i dont think it will get you anywhere though let me guess i need a therapist they need money and my parents refuse because they think they wont helpplus we have a bit of a financial crisis in our hands nothing we cant solve i wanna go back to fixing homes gives me a purpose,3.0
15118,whitsundays  im great thanks  just back from leisurely brunch  how are you ,0.0
15119,weeeelll i think its time to study a little bit how boring ,2.0
15120, yall were were the main reason i came back on twitter so i could follow u guys a follow wud b so nice  i sound greedy lol,0.0
15121,stomach hurts  going to bed,2.0
15122,living with dysthymiaanxiety ranting about my soon to be ex psychiatrist and being stuck in a medicaid logic loop i have dysthymiadouble depression and anxiety not sure how common dysthymia is on here but depression is my baseline mood every day for the last  years with spikes of major depression here and there before that it was just clinical depression and anxiety for most of my life just so nobody worries im not suicidal never have been though it helps that i have a stable life living at home my medicine is as good as its going to get unless there is a happiness pill out there i have done lots of therapy but quit going awhile back i had nothing to say or discuss because there was nothing to talk about there isnt much new going on when im stuck in the house  days a week except for a handful of hours some weekends what do you say to them life is the same as last week nothings worse or better just exactly as it was the last time you seen me so it really doesnt help much learning to drive is my next big step but cant even pass the written test without my add medication but with medicade they wont cover it unless you are in school or employed but i can do neither of those things till i learn to drive but i cant do that without my medicine i have tried just ends with a spike of major depression though dont tell my soon to be ex psychiatrist that or she will tell you its my fault for not trying hard enough and other people with these problems have got through it just fine along and showed no sympathy for me while sit there crying and i cant think of any other time i have cried in front of her and i have gone to her for over a year maybe two i used to really like her but i cant see myself going back to her after losing my faith in her and it would feel awkward there isnt any more she can do for me anyways its as good as its going to get with medicine so no reason to drive  mins there during my dads lunch breakhow else would i get there for just a five minute talk and more refills so ill just be going across town to someone else mostly just to get my refillsi hate being such a burden to him which also played a role in stopping therapy they are already so busy with his main job and his side business and other responsibilities mom is just as busy and tired as he is but they do what they can to help me even when its to take me to the person who colors my hair crazy colors which can take one hour for the first session then two or three hours another day we talk during most of it but i have had years to warm up to her she does my whole familys hair and she lives nearbyshe also has cute dogs thats probably the most interaction i get every three or four monthsanyways im planning on finding someone who will at least try and find me a solution or loop hole or something to get my add medsthis was supposed to be a very different post but i got carried away with my ranting so ill post that another time,3.0
15123,i thought i was ok this yearthen my semi annual depression anxiety self doubt,2.0
15124, are you going to be at manchester ,0.0
15125,rt dubsteppenwolf well this is unbelievably sad and fucked up and totally unsurprising ,2.0
15126,bandrainfo empathy is missing sad have a great day ahead,0.0
15127,im at the underwood for my last night in omahasad too bad i jusy met karli last night ,2.0
15128,good morning twitter ,0.0
15129,myjobismom cheers to that  and what happens if we clean it too well and never find our stuff again  ,0.0
15130,brockm just like gmails offline mode which doesnt work for me  ,2.0
15131,reading twilight ,0.0
15132,shannenp ha ha that would be hilarious why did you star out retard scared of who might follow us lol specialpplrule ,0.0
15133,aminorjourney thats really bad news   are you ok now are you still going to make it to london yes i still have the spare ticket,2.0
15134,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
15135,how a former model beat dark spirals and body dysmorphic disorder to become an mma fighter shes an absolute boss read below,3.0
15136,scrap last post sun is not shining anymore in fact it looks quite bleak ,2.0
15137,finally i can enter at twitter ,0.0
15138,having a coffee with lewis amp jensen morning all ,0.0
15139, shirleys slept over because her father wanted us to go eat brunch with him for his birthday ,0.0
15140,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
15141,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
15142, you tell your mom she is cool in my books ,0.0
15143,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
15144,davidxo  take me on a date,2.0
15145,hell no i dont want to to my homework ha  school shouldnt exist oh itd be perfect but its ok ill avenge by myself one day,2.0
15146,apraamcos    host free mental health panels for music professionals ,2.0
15147,jus got a flat tire ,2.0
15148,planted a garden with nana went to a movie with alissa all to get you off my mind that is until thursday love ,0.0
15149,just now getting to sleep going to try to stay up when nick goes to work at  must fix schedule oh our mega budget is now in effect ,2.0
15150,idk what to do im mad but i cant say anything i want to figure it out i want to forget it but i dont want to start anything ,2.0
15151,i really want to learn how to play polo ,2.0
15152,dont really feel like i got a tan  i gave up and am working out instead skin cancer is overrated  cj,2.0
15153,i hate my sister shes such a bitch she talks shit behind peoples back so often and is just generally awful towards me i just got up and she saw me in my onesie which i rarely wear already because its too warm but last night my house was cold so i wore it and she started laughing i feel like i dont belong in this family and the only person who did make me feel like i belong passed away ,3.0
15154,business meetings arent meant to be this fun laughing hysterically with narelletodd creatingorder amp hordershelper ,0.0
15155,just got attacked by a cricket my new video is complete rubbish httpbitlyjnfod but tell all your friends anyway ,0.0
15156,sdelighted if you choose seattle perhaps we can caravan up there together id happily go there ,0.0
15157,depression is a work of the devil well what can you say about thati  finally told my dad about being depressed and this is the response i got i honestly do not know how to feel about itfor contextthis morning i got scolded for waking up late for we had to go to church yes i grew up with a religious background well this isnt the first time though i admit that ive been like this for so many timeswhen we got home my dad confronted me about it and asked whats the problem with youi did not say a thing i could not tell him that i dont see the need to go out of the house just to see faultfinders who criticize others before criticizing themselves i did not answer for i was afraid that he would disclose the topic to my nmom who would probably see it as a joke to make fun ofmy dad told me that we need to talk he said that i should open up to him and that he knows there must be a problem due to my attitude at home he asked me if it was about the pressure my school has been putting on me he asked a ton of things afterwards which i cant remember anymoreso i finally after a considerably long time confided my thoughts to him  that i might be actually depressed and that my anxiety is taking the better of mehe then told me that depression is a work of the devil he advised that i should not be depressed and focus more on the positive side and for that reason i had to attend every church activity there isi mean i have no right to say that he was wrong yet i dont agree with him either i also understand that he is trying his best to reach out to me but boy that advice is surely hard to followtldr i told my dad i might be depressed he told me that depression is a work of the devilnote i love my dad so much he even assured me that he could listen to everything that i have to say im just a little unsure about that considering he too has his egoistic sidei also have absolutely no grudge against my mom despite her being a narc though i sometimes feel frustrated that i am being deprived of some of my needs,3.0
15158,mariaajoanaayes probably ahah good studies baby  i really am closed up in my room pretending to study ha   to mariaainess,0.0
15159,rt  緑谷と轟でタッグ点灯 independiente quien gane estamos satisfechas porque apoyamos y dimos amor esta fue una travesía donde hubo,1.0
15160, years  months amp  days ago i tried to take my own life people make jokes about depression but dont even unde ,1.0
15161,headed to the airport im going to miss tristinpettis ,2.0
15162,rt sgroffy overwhelmed by all the recovery advice out there heres the good news the human body has evolved to recover from exercise w,0.0
15163,mami king is goodespecially when its free ,0.0
15164,my lowest point back in october i had a full on breakdown i had ones before but not this bad i started smashing my head into my door and i started crying so hard i couldnt breathe i also started laughing uncontrollably my parents just stood there and walked around without trying to stop me i had a huge red mark on my forehead after smashing my head in for hours it happened again in november it hasnt happened since but i still havent gotten better,3.0
15165,saw star trek gd film like the effects ,0.0
15166,kjhinshaw i was talking about the iphoneipod version when does that one come out  lol,0.0
15167,has swollen right eyelid ,2.0
15168,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,2.0
15169,gonna watch big brother tomorrow cos i cant be bothered now hahaa ,0.0
15170,natashamatti dont let stress ruin your day support your mood stability with natural vitality calm try it out httpstcoqoiykduodc,1.0
15171,woohoo another pound lighter but hardly cause for celebration yet as im still over  stones ,2.0
15172,everything sucks and everything will always suck and i should never have been born but im too pussy to kill myself i am so sick of this bullshit,3.0
15173,im graduating tonight ,0.0
15174,missing a boy  guess ill go to bed,2.0
15175,just said goodbye  my better half  she will be greatly missed but i know she will do great in the ny aplusperiod new york is not ready,2.0
15176,karageorgakis hahaha well were very close and i love her so much ,0.0
15177,my password has been changed ,0.0
15178,anybody else heard the song lost boy by ruth b  this song is so soothing and soft but if you really listen to the lyrics she is singing you start to realize or at least i have what i get from it is its a song about suicide really deep this song always gets me in my feels but in a peaceful way,3.0
15179,painting have their own world it derives the painters soul ,0.0
15180,would put her facebook status on because its amazingbut its too long ,2.0
15181,all that i want right now is a hug im at my work right now almost cried writing this fuck this sht  sorry about the useless post though,3.0
15182,mitchelmusso  my saturday was amazing  i got to meet you ,0.0
15183,tmjp i sure she can ,0.0
15184,dezzmcr  just heretalking to lori  and u,0.0
15185,rt  okay i am sad  ,2.0
15186,   jeez i think you look alot prettier without make up ,0.0
15187,at work with possible kidney infection my back hurts so much ,2.0
15188,xliratingdaisy okay that sounds great what song ,0.0
15189,depression gang dont you just hate it when youre the class clown who most people like and most people think youre happy but you secretly want to die all the time and just hope that someone notices eventually or is that just me,3.0
15190,where be he  x,2.0
15191,karinbza hahaha we got radio on sob i didnt come in early today so couldnt listen to my twilt music ,2.0
15192,cant wait to see number  gchild which is also number  gdaughter on thurs when she will be born ,0.0
15193,i shaved my dog in the living room im at the part of my depression where i am starting to realize how dirty my house has gotten i hope that means this depression cycle is almost over,3.0
15194,salmor is all what necessary im in pain ,2.0
15195,back to work after  days off ,2.0
15196,has anyone approached dignitas im at the point whereby meds and other adjunctive treatments have failed to work ive already requested for my medical report and will be submitting it to them within the next few monthsin the meantime im just wondering if anyone has gone through the same route if so would it be possible to advice me on what to expectthanks,3.0
15197,davidmattson meeeeeeee i wanna go  i miss u sooo much david murrie,2.0
15198,marjorielu how are they still the same aw i miss you guys ,2.0
15199,hi chris yesi know what sunday this is  cgbrofmi,0.0
15200, years nonlaw degreeguys im sad,2.0
15201,oooh my tiny attacher arrived today  still waiting for my chomper though,0.0
15202,memphisjdj i am lovin your background ,0.0
15203,my lover dosn´t call me  never mind i´ve have cheese cake yummy,2.0
15204,had a great weekend thank you to everyone involved especially you you know you ok ill stop now ,0.0
15205,that is exciting beatles rock band my dad will finally know some of the songs  jk he knows alot but he still wont play,0.0
15206,realisation about external influences hi i have been struggling with a depression for a year and a half now and although i think i am on a climb i just had a realisation about something trying to learn how to put things in words so apologies if its not entirely cleari just realised it has been a very long time since a negative external influence had a major impact on my mood ie i have been responding to things with numbness rather than an emotional response is that common my negativity has been almost solely fed internally rather than externally even though there have been some quite negative things in my surroundings interested in your thoughts on this,3.0
15207,sociallycubed thats someone elses work im afraid  wish i could tell you who i use tweetie on my maciphone so i never see it anyway ,0.0
15208,its an inescapable cloud of rainy days and im always soaked every day feels like it never ends and every day i go to sleep wanting it to end i just dont know what to do anymore and ive felt empty for a very long time i dont really have anyone but myself and it really takes a toll on you being so alone,3.0
15209,nite all couldnt sleep now i might be able to cya in the morning ,0.0
15210,no presentation today  pushed back to monday instead gives me more time to gather more intel though gonziaida robots have feelings too,2.0
15211,abemedoff yea quality game tonight ,2.0
15212,wearetheused jephaaaa ,0.0
15213,my knee has been hurting since my  mile run on sunday  couldnt even run yesterday how do i make it better,2.0
15214,ldyghstwhisprer i dont think hes playing  ,2.0
15215,he didnt even try ,2.0
15216,all time low on tuesday ,0.0
15217,rt angelachiewa louiseacullen  st elevation in avr with st depression in other leads  think triple vessel disease ratp  http,2.0
15218, aaawwe sooorry for that i could go to barcelona but if i had gonne my parents wont let going to waterloo ,0.0
15219,i cant changeand i never will ive tried all my life to be worth something to others and to myself neither of which have succeeded at least in my opinion andi think im done tryingim not sure why im typing this up maybe i want someone to prove me wrong i dont knowi understand very little about myself people tell me im complex but i dont see it butwho knows with all this unknown stuff about memaybe its possible whatevs who cares,3.0
15220,cant wait for missy and b to come home miss them ooodles ,2.0
15221,all that matters is the present moment i have been seeing a therapist for some time now and it has helped me a lot during my monday session she said something to me that really stuck with me and i thought id share it with you guysshe diagnosed me with ocd and subsequent depression and a form of ptsdshe said to me that im depressed and afraid because i cant let go of the past and anxious because i cant stop thinking about the future she went on to say that i should view the past as a loved one not a real person on their death bed the only thing keeping them alive is my depression and anxiety and the only thing keeping me anxious and depressed is seeing them on their death bed in order to break this vicious cycle the only thing i can do is to tell them goodbyesometimes all we can and need to do is let go all that matters is the present moment not yesterday not tomorrowof course this is easier said than done but hearing it helped me and i hope it helps someone else,3.0
15222,im confused by twitter ,2.0
15223,karaalynn love sucks sometimes  sorry your having a bad night,2.0
15224,yagirldwoods theyre scary be a beautiful fish ,0.0
15225,  vote for the jonas brothers music video ,0.0
15226,i cant  sleep but a list my house work is all done lol birmingham mind  u help all people with mental health issues  u are amazing,0.0
15227,jonasbrothers   ohso cool i hope youre some excited when you come to spain ,0.0
15228,chadcluff i hate that show so much it gives me anxiety,1.0
15229,sunlife just denied my wife short term disability coverage bc she had post partum depression  years ago we have a baby on the way wtf,1.0
15230,superamit me too ,2.0
15231,hic sao ma buon ngu the nay ,2.0
15232,had more wheat lodge in last nights storms  probrably  of my crop is now on the ground  via farmerhaley,2.0
15233,chrisryanmusic yeah you do   make sure u tell me when u get one btw hows the music caree coming along,0.0
15234,sickk workk  then grammas with the fam  greatt  but happy mothers dayy ,0.0
15235,roger and rafa are playing now too at madeid open final damn i want to see graf too ,2.0
15236, struggling with depression and anxiety that manifests itself into anger im at the end of my rope here feeling alone and useless and hopeless i got into a car accident last night and in my panic i was mean to my boyfriend when i get anxious i tend to get into a fit of rage and say very hurtful things i feel like i have no control over this its caused many bumps in the road for us i lost my brother to a drug overdose roughly a year ago and i have been spiraling ever since it feels ive always struggled with anger and anxietydepression but its started happening a lot more recently and its getting out of control currently on the phone with my insurance company seeking out a therapist under my providersi feel scatterbrained and nervous afraid im going to lose him its been rough im feeling lower than i have in a a while,3.0
15237,mmmm subwayeat fresh ,0.0
15238,im aware that tons of people have depression but i assume that means for many people youd never guess they had a mental illness from an outsiders perspective and they somehow still manage to keep a job support themselves go to school have relationships etc im not doubting their illness at all but i dont get it because mental illness has plagued my life since high school and ive never been able to manage along with it suicide is always on my mind it just ranges in volume i have a tendency to selfdestruct and i have a reputation of being incredibly unstableafter spending extended amounts of time around me people tend to know something is off about me without being told so my life is incredibly chaotic and unpredictable due to my mental health and i have significantly more bad days than good days what im saying is that i wonder what the hell is wrong with me why am i constantly an utter mess while others are still chugging along ,3.0
15239,kory is drivin my car ,2.0
15240,btdgoszcz smooth festival   macy gray is amazing singer what a voice wanna listen to her all day long ,0.0
15241,   wow still dont know though why your having them i thought you were having seizures before the whole waking up on the floor ,2.0
15242, any by li tomorrow u mean nyc tomorrow to see west side with meeee  sooo excited,0.0
15243,nickysummer  just for a cheeky pint ,0.0
15244,killzonedotcom new  content for us as well ,0.0
15245,took a shower today itd been nine days since i took a shower nine days since i brushed my hair i still havent done laundry in about a month so im wearing dirty jeans and my last resort tops thankfully my job doesnt require too much adult interaction i barely make it to work every day but really having a job at all is a huge improvement for me im just proud of my self for doing some self carebut also trying to hold myself accountable i guess,3.0
15246,is on mc today weather really getting to me ,2.0
15247,xseananthony omg i wanted to go  ugh tell me how it is,2.0
15248,what absolutely storming weather there is today  thats dam fine exam weather i sure know ill be playing in the sun after my exams,0.0
15249,weizenbaum nope just trying  be quotstimulatingquot fwiw ,0.0
15250,dirtyboyg thanx for asking ,0.0
15251,thehulse voni well i shall be there ,0.0
15252,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15253,i just hate it i just hate how everyone thinks im so lazyi just hate how noone caresi just hate how i cant do anythingi just hate how i wanna die everydayi just hate how now i cant cuti just hate how everyone hates mei just hate how i have to hide my sexualityi just hate how i want to die everyday for past couple yearsi just hate how people say ill get over it myselfi just hate how even my best friend hates mei just hate how im so fati just hate how i feel like i cant talk about it because other people feel worsei just hate how selfish i ami just hate how much people think im annoyingi just hate how i cant even do anythingi just hate how people cant understand that im seriousi just hate how people cant understand im not a  year old emo girlim not trying to be deep sorry if it gave it that feeling im just not okay today like everyday thanks for reading it i guess,3.0
15254,im doing my homework ,2.0
15255,lufii weve left school you cherrybumbum  well except for exams haha maybe even escape europe la new york tokyoooo,0.0
15256, fav youtuberhmmm a couple of speedrunners because i love watching speedruns wont give names because anxiety ,2.0
15257,missed my first dose of pristiq and i feel really really bad about it i have been so good about taking my meds everyday since i was first prescribed antidepressants by my college therapist im very bad at remembering to take my medications or do anything really on a daily basis i started therapy in college and started meds and really buckled down to work hard to do it daily today i missed my first dose ive been taking meds every single day i was supposed to since like january last year i was so good and i worked so hard i had to cut effexor cold and switch to pristiq because of shortages and how my prescriber wanted to deal with it and had to go through withdrawals i know how freaking miserable those feel and this morning i forgot to take my meds and now i feel like i did when i had quit the effexor i hope it doesnt last past today when i take them tomorrow as classes started today im sorry that i ramble too much in this post im just really feeling bad and guilty and worthless because of it,3.0
15258,stevetleicsuk is it all better now i put £ in and it didnt give me any change ,2.0
15259,photo of five  student cemetery recently died   ,2.0
15260,im sorry im such a failure at tweeting  im new to this,2.0
15261,completely alone firstly i want to state that i dont want to hear anything like its okay it gets better or anything like that  nor do i want people taking matters into their own hands by trying to give me help i didnt ask for and so on i just have things i want to sayim completely alone i have been for about    years now i moved country basically against my will and left my friends and happiness behind i moved to a country full of things that i cant stand people i dont like a culture i cant appreciate and a society that i hope collapses ive been suffering from major depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts and tendencies since then i could also have bpd i dont know no i cant get diagnosed there is nowhere for me to go and no one to take me and im honestly far too terrified to go even if i could i have no friends i spend my days scrolling through my dms feeling worse as every name passes by since i know that i cant reach out to any of them that none of them are actually there for me and never were ind the first place i have no one to talk to about any of this im unable to keep a relationship since i cant find someone that is willing to invest as much as i am i have low selfesteem theres something wrong with me that makes me unlovable by anyone it ensures that im destined to die alone but i dont know what it is i used to have high selfesteem the reason its low now is because even when i was happy with myself no one was happy with me that hurts i cant change the people around me i cant force anyone to like me or be there for me i have literally no way to change my current situation and i cant bear it id like to say im going to kill myself after this post but im too cowardly to end my own life i have things i can offer society a lot in fact im an accomplished musician academically far ahead of others im gifted at football and  i get along with everyone im not too bad looking but im never enough the pain of true loneliness and self hatred is too much for me to constantly bear on my own but its what i do every single day because i have no other choice i dont know what the world really wants from me even if i was perfect i wouldnt be enough i honestly dont think i deserve to be in this position i dont deserve to feel so broken i resent humanity i really do my hatred for humanity knows no bounds and its simply because people take me for granted and use me they dont care about me they arent ever there for me its despicable theyre all in their little groups and im the outcast an outcast to humanity its shameful and heartbreaking why cant i belong with everyone else theres literally nothing wrong with me why cant i be allowed to fit in people compliment me on the things ive done and can do and i hate it i hate to receive praise from people because that praise will never make up for the fact that im broken and utterly destroyed because of others i honestly believe that i have the potential to become famous when im older i dont love fame but idk i just feel like i belong near the top and if i end up there this post and what im going through is going to be really embarrassing to future me but on the other hand i might not even make it to my next birthday i just want some help some love and some peace is that really ao much to ask of the world do i really have to be perfect to achieve those things why does everyone else not have to struggle as hard to get the same things i cant lie as bad as i feel about it im jealous and resentful of all those people that are mentally healthy and stable and have so much because i am just as capable as they are im human too and yet look at my situation i just want some help i just want someone to be there for me to take away  years of pain i dont feel like im asking for much maybe i am i just want some help,3.0
15262,another one of my friends died today i feel like pulling back from everyone i feel like im being burned alive last year my cousinclose friend died on the  today less than a year after our friends death on april  we got the text that one of our other friends is now dead thats  theyre dropping like flies now i thought i was blessed in high school bc i was popular and had so many friends so many close friends and within that group a tighter circle our inner most group but nothing ever works out suicide took the first i miss him so much the flashbacks of the concrete are debilitating violent car crash took the second i love him and miss him every day seeing the tree he hit brings me such deep pain i fall to my kneesdrugs took the third i have no words for how i feel about him right now i love him i cant accept his death yet i probably wont for a long time my biggest fear has been realized not my own mortality but others god were so young this is so insane i go back to my hometown this week to spend some time with my friends cherish each other the sorrow i feel is deeper than depression i feel like im on fucking fire ,3.0
15263,just had lunch yummy  mexico for another month wooh ,0.0
15264,is going to visit the biggest most hugest lakeland in the world tomorrow  whos jealous,0.0
15265,plants help me caring for all of my plants and watching them thrive brings a little life back into me ive spent all day outside in my garden no veggies just flowers and i feel fantastic even my indoor plants make me feel better am i weird does this help anyone else ive read articles about how they can assist with seasonal depression but ive never actually heard of anyone else doing it maybe it can help you,3.0
15266,so far impressed with httpbarefootbreakscoza customer service now lets see what the quotes say  looks like zanzibar in sept,0.0
15267,watching the lost boys    now who wouldnt want to be a vampire ,0.0
15268,i actually love strawberries  i think they are the only fruit i love ,0.0
15269,finally has a car amp hopefully will get my laptop back  ,0.0
15270,watching the sandlot ,0.0
15271,mykito i dont have hands  lol,2.0
15272,rt deiuxional sad truth is one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory,1.0
15273,heidimontag how come you dont have your wedding ring on in that picture on us weekly chick  you are amazing either way wb,0.0
15274,taijay awh  well  i had to wait until i was   patience is a virtue   haha ,0.0
15275,xchadballx you guys are amazing i love you i wish you would tour with blink ,2.0
15276,i fucked up i totally screwed up the only person i ever cared about has cut me off she was my best friend and i would tell her everything and i thought she felt the same i began opening up to her about my depression and self harm and she began to distance herself the emotional toll i caused resulted in her resentment i then became possessive believing that she was mine when she is her own person capable of deciding what she wants she is the only person i look up to now shes the reason that ive pushed myself to be better to work on myself to be happy for once i want to talk to you to tell you im better to apologise about our whole relationship i wish i had the courage to say anything to you to repair what ive damaged but i dont deserve the closure i dont deserve the benefit of the doubt i dont deserve you im still falling for you after all this time yet when i think of you i feel numb thats all i feel when i think of you now i shouldnt have interfered with you but you gave my life hope in my darkest time thanks for everything but i still love you,3.0
15277,annetaki i cant view it on ipod or the iphone ,2.0
15278,new blog from karachi  httpkarachiiteswordpresscom,0.0
15279,happy birthday to one of my dear friends aicyd sorry i couldnt make it tonight   hope you had fun,2.0
15280,i love the weather   more days,0.0
15281,no one words can explain how sad im rn sending my deepest condolences to ths grandpa stay strong mybaby😭💜,1.0
15282,ebbathegreatest i cry at school and everyone looks at me weird  i was like wtf u looking at go somewhere,2.0
15283,im tired but i cant fall sleep i just keep tossing and turning  ugh i gotta be up at  ,2.0
15284,sad about nadals loss ,2.0
15285,i really just wanna watch skinsit takes forever to load ,2.0
15286,this is your daily reminder that thanos should never listen to the first verse of the only difference between marty ,1.0
15287,i hate myself so damn much i feel like i am an ungrateful brat there is nothing directly wrong with my life it is all psychological i feel like my family is meant to make me feel bad about myself because i am lucky in life but just not with my mental health my brother has it so much easier than me because he is actually the favorite and i am the failure and the forgotten child i feel worthless and feel like i am ruining my parents life with my problems,3.0
15288,piathepope tokrat vem takrat sem pa verjetno spal ,0.0
15289,two of my favorite websiteshttpfailblogorg and httpwwwfmylifecom hours of entertainment ,0.0
15290,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
15291,cindyoyo cindy he is always afraid of me that misternoodle is always ,0.0
15292,this tea is making me real sad,1.0
15293,just spent an hour waiting for a bus i left my cellphone on good time for quiet work feel bad i only had  on me to tip the driver ,2.0
15294,watching  from my desk  but have just lost sound ,2.0
15295,emilyalltimelow yeah no thankyou im not gay ,0.0
15296,hehe love that enthusiastic green flag waving marshall ,0.0
15297,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
15298,stranger turned friend turned stranger when the person whom you once shared everything with whom you once were so close to becomes a distant stranger over a period of time have you ever felt so lost and awful over not getting to talk to them ,3.0
15299,tried to make this cake bowl thing and it looks like pudding more than cake i stink and all i had to do was add water and microwave ,2.0
15300, ive had hempware for a while now just in case and yeah i start work there again tomorrow very excited ,0.0
15301,beasttheskitzo  niggaaaa i dont act up i just have my wayss and i dont disrespect men unless they ask  it ,0.0
15302,ya se puso sad toda la tl lloremos juntos,2.0
15303,chanellelujan its sad i never got to try it smh im mad,2.0
15304,whomp whomp whomp no party tonight ,2.0
15305,newhat you never reply to us normal folk it makes us sad you no  ,2.0
15306,ashleyrose that is so horrible im sorry i really hate bullies    ,2.0
15307,  cirrhosis of the liver much yes thats my thigh ,2.0
15308,just a really really boring day ,2.0
15309,combatting fatigue for a good portion of the week i wake up at  and am out of my dorm until  when i get back i just cant bring myself to do anything at all i dont study do my daily homework play games talk with friends i just lay in bed and endlessly scroll through redditdoes anyone have any tips on combatting this end of the day mental fatigue its horribly affecting my grades and just making my life a slog to go through,3.0
15310,ughits too hot im melting ,2.0
15311,i hate having blood tests  makes me feel woozy and my arm go all floppy,2.0
15312,shadwhore haha ugh life is crazy and i miss you being in mine ,2.0
15313,caseyhopkins so jealous have fuuuuun ,0.0
15314, thats okay i understand btw  solved my problem already ,0.0
15315,djkester for sure  i hit the river at  this morning for pics then drove to the top of town snapped a few and enjoyed a latte  ,0.0
15316,just had cheesy pops meat lovers at pizza hut it tastes so much better than viva lasagna ,0.0
15317,sometimes i get flickers of happiness its seemingly random how do i hold onto them its so rare for me to feel like this nowadays is there an underlying cause in my environment or is it just my brain firing off,3.0
15318,heading to the beach tonight sayonara tweeties ,0.0
15319,i just wanna be okay i was feeling bad this morning so i decided to facetime my friend to cheer me up then she went on a huge rant on how im so bad at an after school thing we do i told her that my mom wouldnt let me quit then she told me if im gonna be forced to do it i might as well try i fucking hate it so much and i started crying and ended the call without saying goodbye i really just wanna lay in bed all day and not have to do anything which is pretty much whats gonna happen i just dont know what to do because i know i should try but i hate it so much the thing thats after school is a history thing and were gonna have a big tournament against other school in a few weeks and i dont know any of it my mom is gonna be disappointed that i didnt do anything and so is my team i just wish i could be a normal person,3.0
15320,dragonslight then we are as one  xxxxx,0.0
15321,marteyo o i knoooow where have you been youre not online too much ,2.0
15322,  danefansdotcom this is for you guys ,0.0
15323,rt loopzoop hello  hour depression nap do you remember mein monaco i made u that bracelet,2.0
15324,i dont know how to express my depression to my fiancé i went to a nearby city to see my best friend and her new baby today  away  ive been having a hard go of it the past week or so and spending most of the day in a big city was exhausting i usually do fine with crowds but i had a panic attack just trying to maneuver the olive garden parking lot in a large truck the parking lot is tiny and poorly designed then i get to spend a couple hours with my friend where i use all my effort to act as normal as possible even though i feel like im in this haze  by the time i finally get home im exhausted i am mentally drained  my fiancé immediately notices something is up and just assumes im mad at him because i am a blank wall  he talks and i listen and i can hear a response in my head but nothing comes out the conversation is so menial and unimportant that my brain decides its not worth engaging instead i stare out the window at the storm clouds coming in in retaliation the fiancé decides to get crappy with me and put on his mad face because im grumpy i try to explain to him im not grumpy out of choice i cant help that i feel this way and his response is that i need to get help is it unfair for me to want him to talk to me and help me through it or is that too much to put on one person i really cant afford to go to the doctor or seek treatment i have  figures of student loan debt that takes  of my income  i live in a rural area with not a lot of options and a big stigma on mental health ,3.0
15325,maryjanefrances it pains me max also designs his main line and for herve leger so its not like he needs this does he need the cash ,2.0
15326,had a fruitful and fun day taking pictures at the botanical garden basically happy with my camera  but so tempted to buy some lenses gtlt,0.0
15327,my cell phone is dead  cant do anything with it,2.0
15328,contact ripped im blind getting butt kicked again ,2.0
15329, special effects are amazing and the transformer voices are great too but the film is really long and dull ,2.0
15330,bfheroes have a mac  cant play ,2.0
15331,my sat night is now not happenin argh was lookin forward to a night out now a bottle of wine for one kinda sad ,2.0
15332, okokokok lmao illl try mate dont you worry  ,0.0
15333,is watching the biggest loser and feeling guilty ,2.0
15334,iphone gt rice bath ,2.0
15335,watching fear and loathing  after hours painting in my studio love that movie ,0.0
15336,shabbygomer sadly im not even  sure were going  friends car has been acting up lately,2.0
15337,problems eating is there any kind of supplement i can take that will make me hungry any kind of eating aid at all im losing weight i dont know what to do and its so frustrating how can i enjoy eating again and what will make me eat please help ,3.0
15338,do you want to kill yourself if you want to kill yourself kill the parts of you that you hate i killed myself once you can kill yourself too  but that doesnt mean you have to stop livingstart making small changes the smallest you can think of those actions dont just add up over time they compound and compound interest is unstoppable,3.0
15339, happy birthday  and thank you,0.0
15340,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
15341,joreanr i dunno why but it didnt send my last tweet to you  zomg motorcycle driveby,2.0
15342, years of agony and it keeps on climbing lemme start off by saying that ive been depressed for several years now since i was  im now it gets worse and worse every single year and very few get to know about the true extent of my paini finally thought i was getting better but this month has slowly destroyed me inside out and i cant understand why nor can i pinpoint what has ignited such agonyi have issues with anxiety suicidal thoughts and a deeprooted paranoia which is causing me sleep deprivation has been since this all started over  years agoim incredibly lonely there are several people i talk to on a regular basis through school akin to friends but theres only one id consider a true friend and the rest are mere passerby making idle conversation because its better than silence well call this friend isaac isaac has been helping me through my pain and i have with his depression which originally was worse than mine however after  years of friendship the tables have turned life is finally looking up for him hes working as an apprentice with a tech company now and im immensely proud of him for it but i cant help but feel even more isolated because of itthis isolation has affected my biological lifestyle my libido is hyperactive i get the urge every few hours and with no lover in sight what do you think im doing thats one of the two times i dont feel the hurtmy paranoia makes me feel like im being watched roughly  of every day i feel like somethings following me from the shadows and if there really is someone watching me could you do me a favour and just show your face i mean its common courtesyisaac knows of my plight and recommends that i go to a psychiatrist theres only one issue i dont leave my house without reason ill leave for school shopping exercise for a friend but never for no reason my parents will knowmy parents cannot help me and i know what my fathers reaction will be inparticular hell simply say depression doesnt exist and he wont take anything else for an answer as for my mother i dont know what shell do she has bipolar behavioural patterns shes kind and nurturing one minute and vile and rotten the next i cant make heads or tails of her so i cant trust either of them one of the things theyve done to hurt me so much the hand theyve played in the mess of their sons life is never telling me that im loved ive never heard them say it to me once and its at the point now where i wouldnt believe it if they said it nowanother thing ive noticed is that im not used to being touched i figured this out last month me and isaac where comparing calf muscles hes obese and has rock solid calves which isnt normal so he wanted to compare to someone reasonably fit me and i recoiled a good few feet back when he so much as poked it i went to the doctors prior to this and she had to check my stomach for any internal lesions i couldnt stop twitching so she couldnt properly diagnose it dont worry im physically fineif i were to go to a psychiatrist i dont know what the response will be will they try and actually help the root of my problem or will they just throw meds at me and tell me to just get over it i cant tell and that scares me horribly soi deeply hate myself my appearance awkwardness and social ineptness it makes me want to pretend to be someone else but i have a phobia of lying it physically scares me to lie to peoplei would just kill myself and end this unyielding agony but im too much of a coward to do it so i walk life with no meaning or motivation my purpose in life requires another one that i dont think ill ever findmy only goal in life is to find a lover and start a family sex is great sure but thats not important to me compared to love something i crave so much that it hurts to be without it i believe this is where the root of my mental issues is located and im not willing to let myself lose that root its a fundamental part of me its all thats keeping me together but now im losing hope its gotten to the point where ive decided life with a mental abuser would be better than this and im well aware that isnt a good thing my desire for love is all i live for and i am yet to experience it which leaves me hollow every morning i wake up hollow and every night i go to bed the exact same as in the morning maybe worsethe only other thing making my life even slightly bearable is a fucking anime character  zero two from darling in the franxx whenever i see an image of her hear her voice anything that so much as reminds me of her it makes the day just a little bit brighter even honey a beverage she loves gives me a slight little tingle of joy but that quickly dies i think the reason that this character is resonating with me so much is everything about her shes overprotective slightly jealous giddy at times and yet a furious beast at others borderline broken on the inside like myself it all fits into the right places for me however that isnt the main problem zero two may be one of the only two things helping me cope but my mental state is breaking due to her overbearing presence in my mind shes all i think about now whenever im exercising whenever im trying to do anything when im desperately trying in vain to sleep  whenever im happy shes all i see the epitome of joy for me and i wish it wasnt since ya know she aint real and shed never love some disgusting vile piece of shite like me i cant have her in any manner and it hurts more than anything else in the world its like watching your wife husband partner etc stare down the barrel of a gun and you cant that trigger being pulledtldr  im only made happy by mai waifu and masturbation my mental state is worseningwhat the fuck can i do to get help brethren i beg of you help me out of this pit i cant escape throw me a rope please,3.0
15343,spent the day in bed passed out on back pain meds feeling a bit better tonight  wellrested anyway ,0.0
15344, jensen said that it was just a rumor that he was gonna be in the resident evil sequel sorry ,2.0
15345,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
15346,i am starting to freak out because i still dont have a job ,2.0
15347,i dont even know anymore have you ever sat back and thought about what a bad person you are i do it allot i look at all the times ive shouted or hurt someone and it makes me feel so alone all my friends have other friends they prefer i sit alone surrounded by people ironic i dont even know why im here anymore to be honest like as soon as i feel like it might finally just be okay i get hit with a shit tone of bricks its like life wants to remind me i cant be anything but miserable people are so much worse off than me i feel so selfish drowning in my guilt and pity i honest to god hate everything about myself how my feelings work how i act sound look pretty much anything i am or do makes me hate myself more and more i have amazing people in my life who were once as sad as i was theyre all getting so much better now theyre all okay and whenever i try and explain how i feel they say omg same and i dont think they get it at all this is how i wake up this is how i live this is probably how im going to die alone and it scares me so much i just need someone to care about me i know it sounds so so selfish and im sorry to everyone whos so much worse off but its really hard to see past your own sadness when it feels like this its just so hard to to care about other people when you feel like youre empty inside so thats my daily mental breakdown on paper sorry you had to read that i understand if you just kept scrolling i hope you have a better day ✌🏻,3.0
15348,trying to find a replay of the white house correspondents dinner which i missed cant find a darn repeat on cspan ,2.0
15349,natedorn awe  i hope things get better for  you,2.0
15350,eamobile hey can you tell the guy that i want to review it save a promo code for me to review ,0.0
15351,how childhoodtrauma can affect mental and physical health into adulthoodmentalhealth physicalhealth trauma ,1.0
15352,ahh im really starting to feel my sunburn now ,2.0
15353,kdubbb hahaha next show i go to of theirs im sure theyll have a lot of fans now ,2.0
15354,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
15355,myasmine stole after i let you fire an air barrel for your money back im hurt ,2.0
15356, ah i dont get twit yet id rather fb  but nothing is up we have to hang soon,2.0
15357,im having the worst year of my life and its only january so far this year ive had my heart broken and i cry about it every night whilst dealing with my heartbreak to the point where i couldnt even get out of bed i was forced to move out of my parents house for the first time in my life and became homeless i now have a place of my own but still trying to figure out how to manage things still dealing with the heartbreak and everything is just so overwhelming and yesterday i was diagnosed with multiple sclerosisi suffer from severe depression anxiety and bpd and i honestly cant take it any more,3.0
15358,jasgonzales i know ,2.0
15359,going crazy the pain is unbearableamp i gotta wait till thursday ,2.0
15360,im tired i have been dealing with depression since i was fifteen been going to therapy since i was eighteen im so tired of everything i was bullied heavily on school college was the same shit  cant keep up with any career my last option is taking a job and become independent dont have any friends  my dad is a ghost around the house and my mom is tired of dealing with this shit and me too the sadness for no reason at all taking pills having to go talk to someone who pretends to give a shit about me feeling like a burden to everyonei just want to cry myself to death i dont want to talk anymore  i just want to sleep and be done with everythingi cant off myself because i have seen what death   does to a family after my cousin was killed and i dont wanna cut again since my dad got violent last time i did iti just feel like im trapped in this life that i hate i feel like i have no choice over who i am and what i doi dont know what my problem is  but whatever it is it has consumed me and i dont know what do nexti feel like i might change therapist but i dont want to make rushed decisions thank you for reading,3.0
15361,as aubreyoday would say quotim gonna let my lashes hug it outquot good night everyone ,0.0
15362,school is not fun when all your friends are quarantined ,2.0
15363,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15364,nicolemuch glad ure finally out sorry wasnt able to visit u tho ,2.0
15365,strangetymes even if you go up ill keep tweeting for the cause  and yeah school def sucksi love it without class andyhurleyday,0.0
15366,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15367, omg im missing sooo much ,2.0
15368,people who gatekeep being depressed you dont know everyones situation you dont know whats happening with them you dont know what horrible things they could be going through many people are depressed in the world for many reasons and some people act like you cant be depressed unless inset whatever that person thinks hate to tell you its not that simple ,3.0
15369,every time you think kill yourself change it to love yourself this mantra has become invaluable to me life can be overwhelming in an infinite of instances thats why were all here subscribed to this subreddit like many of you ive suffered from severe depression for over a decade ive contemplated suicide more times than id like to admit the answer to my problems often defaults to end it all and kill yourself and itll all go away id like to think this is simply not the case my advice to you all is to find your breathing what i mean by that is to stop and think about your breath inhale and exhale slowly with full attention on the in and out revel deeply on the gift of life and the exchange of air for living it is a gift from the cosmos this infinitely chaotic and troubling universe we find ourselves in has given us all the turmoil and distress we carry with us but it has also given us the knowledge of existence it is in us naturally to be fearful and shrink from the world we are given but it also in us to be mindful and appreciative of the chance before us to simply enjoy every moment our every breath because this is all that ever was and all that will ever be you right now reading a strangers words on a phone or computer screen you are the universe you are all of existence right now thinking feeling loving hating you are doubtful and hopeful you hate your coworker your exlover you love your mother father brother you are a small light in an infinite sea of blackness that is the galaxy your life defied the odds of evolution to exist why then should you spend the precious energy youve been given from this impossible void on hating yourself hating life hating anyone or anything i say love yourself every chance you get love yourself no matter what never say kill yourself no matter what happens you exist no matter how small you are something in a universe of black nothingness that counts always forever if ever you think differently remember these words remember your breathing breathe in and out and feel life enter and leave you and come back again you are here i am here we are all here with you never let that feeling go never say kill yourself love yourself because you are all that we have ,3.0
15370,today is a good day ,0.0
15371,marccscott hehe thanks i thought the phd countdown clock on the my website would be fun for visitors and me ,0.0
15372,feeling more empty after a date i started law school in this education year and dont have a gf for  yearsi was thinking like i am feeling depressed and empty because i dont have friend that can support me and love me etc cause i dont have any problems at all ive got moneyfamilyfriendsso i ask a girl out on a dateluckily she didnt reject me and we went to a café with a nice landscape and she talked a lot about herself and we laughed a lot and we agreed on another date laterso things went well but not in my mindi can understand a date or a caring gf are not going to cure my empty feelings and such shit i was thinking that in my whole life i was feeling like shit and thats not gonna change with an amendment in my life,3.0
15373,ps i promise the last shot there was no photoshop apart from the frame its straight out of camera ,0.0
15374,im really sad idk how but i feel this paini know hes strong an angel and now more than ever he needs suppor ,1.0
15375,rt  while i do believe there will be no blue wave its very important to stress that everyone needs to get out and vote for,1.0
15376,i am not sure what to do with this twitter business ,2.0
15377,jeremyskinner ah yes just reading it now thanks ,0.0
15378,need more sales pants pocket feeling very light ,2.0
15379,simonindelicate theyre been ushered away ive missed the chance  i have a fencing scar where i fell through a fence,2.0
15380,opps i got twitterhappyforgot to send that last one private  leigh that was for u ,0.0
15381,yessicarabbit back pain other than that it was good ,0.0
15382,missed my gyno appt today i keep in not going to schedule appts ive lost faith in all docs they cantwont help me anyway ,2.0
15383, just got all my packages from adorama bamph photo and paul c buff,0.0
15384,its not that interesting i told a friend that a doctor decided i wasnt able to drive myself home because i was having panic attacks all morning and wanting to crash into another car and all they responded with was that i was still invited to her partyidk i just feel so fucking lonely and pathetic all i can do is cry ,3.0
15385,kimsherrell kimmy kim u ever sleep said the guy that is going to sleep followfriday follow kim cuz she is fun and followable ,0.0
15386,impressive that patient spends all their money on fags and booze but none on soap or deodorant room pongs now  ,2.0
15387,is it unprofessional to ask doctor personal questions about him if i were to ask my doctor about himself like what does a typical day look like for him or what he does in his free time would this be wrong  i tell them everything about me im too scared to ask but wondering has anyone done this before ,3.0
15388,live this day as if it were your lastit might be ,2.0
15389,hey alohabruce i was just streaming and who did i find just missed you at geek meet   hawaiivacations live gt ,2.0
15390,they say silence is golden well not if youre hoping someone will text you ,2.0
15391,xkerplunkx i hate you my last exam is on  june ,2.0
15392,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15393,no prom date for me next year  ,0.0
15394,  and this is the sweetest little boy in the world  i ♥ him he said i have banana nails because they  ,0.0
15395,i gonna miss thee staff cast everyone ,2.0
15396,happy mothers day to all the moms out there ,0.0
15397,thoughtful and insightful artist really helped me understand theres nothing wrong with me like many on this sub i have found it hard to live in a world that tells us that we are wrong not the worldi suffer from ptsd and watching the films of this woman and reading her poems and essays have really helped me the past few weekshttpelijunipercomin particular her films and poems really brought home for me the aspects of the world that are wrong and which so many nondepressed people ignore sticking their head in the sandi hope others can find something interesting in it,3.0
15398,watching the golden girls and getting some sleep exciting week coming up ,0.0
15399,alll i got to say is ouch sunburnand aching body ,2.0
15400,the man punted baxter ,2.0
15401,argh  why couldnt i have gone to london today  theres a huge bumblebee there and realmfox and  will be there   madness,2.0
15402,i now hate furrys and cant trust anyone now just had a close friend completely block me and as the title suggests he was a furry he recently came out as a furry and i was fine with it but recently he started hanging out with his furry friends and just up and blocked me today one of his new friends might be a pedophile anyways and they were talking about meeting up to go to a con but you know what screw him so yes i am now depressed as he was my only friend,3.0
15403,quothard to explainquot sempre veem a calhar sempre  ,0.0
15404, ahhh i know  did you watch the jb live chat today,2.0
15405,in the car still no superise i just saw a dead bunny ,2.0
15406,korbz sounds hot  im thinking i may not have enough flesh on display invincible will do you any words you like on t shirts,0.0
15407,i know im better than this ,2.0
15408, yep ,2.0
15409,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
15410,thanks  philsophy,0.0
15411,mrsdam bad  ,2.0
15412,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15413,quotation of the day finders keepers losers weepers xd  im going  practise piano ,0.0
15414,whoisdjspecialk stayed at syn till bout  thought it woulda been too late for allumbra  ek was binne in my moer,2.0
15415,just arrived at home ,0.0
15416,wesupportniley you can tell me cause i cant go ,2.0
15417,ryking ooh good then  thank you for the heads up bro,0.0
15418,missattitude tic toc tic toc tic ,0.0
15419,� commons у болгар называет�� «общомеди�» и вообще они кавайные  ruwiki,0.0
15420,my bum is numb  been sitting in one position for almost  hours amp i have  or  more to go roar haha,2.0
15421,i think im somewhere between depression and normal no i dont throw up or dont eat food or dont have energy to do anything or something like that i am happy when i am happy thats kinda rare nowadays but when i am sad im just really suicidal i dont want to do anything when i am sad its really hard for me to become happier when im sad also i just wait for the day to be over i feel these emotions inside which means i dont reflect it to outside been like this for  years now and have seen a psychologist before am i okay or im just overthinkingreacting,3.0
15422,depressed but wanting to get better deep down  tw suicide self harm dont really have anyone else to turn to or talk about these kind of things with so i thought turning to reddit might help because so many people have suffered and come through the other side better off ill try to keep this short and just say that ive had suicidal thoughts since i was about  years old until now one of my parents passed away around that time and it left a void ever since which is probably the route cause of how i feel deep down i have a shitty relationship with most of my immediate family including my remaining parent because they are emotionally and have been physically abusive i have literally  friends and a long term partner of  years my friends are amazing but they have their own problems so instead of overloading them i prefer to absorb their stresses me and my bf have had ups and downs although i love him dearly i dont feel comfortable sharing my feelings of sadness with him i finished studying for my degree and am currently looking for a job but im struggling to do so because i feel like living is pointless and i have no energy to exist anymore i would say that i have high functioning depression because no one except reddit now knows what ive been doing ive been on and off different types of anti depressants for about  years i just started taking sertraline a month ago after a break of  year ive tried therapy during this time too but it hasnt helped me when i was a teen i used to self harm by cutting and picking my skin i have always had body issues and for the past  months ive been binging purging and using laxatives daily in an effort to lose weight a few months ago i was feeling particularly low and more aggressively suicidal i left home late at night to go to the train station i had been crying and it was winter but i had no jacket phone etc and stood at the platform trying to sike myself up to jump in front of the next train i was hesitant  because i dont want to leave my youngest sibling behind  it feels like they need me but i literally cant escape the voices in my head that tell me im fucking worthless and disgusting so i wanted so badly to end it someone intervened and warned the station staff so i was dragged into their offices crying which was ultimately very embarrassing lately i look at suicide methods online all the time i dont have a particular time or date for ending things but i still know that i want this to be over i should also note that i hate reaching out to suicide hotlinessamaritans as i dont feel like they helped in previous experiences i had a few years ago i am too ashamed to admit myself anywhere because i hate the thought of my family and partner beginning to question everything they think they know about mei have seen so many success stories online about people managing and overcoming their mental illnesses but i dont make any progress it feels like im slipping deeper into a void where i feel nothing but numbness and self loathing im actually jealous of the fact that one of my parents are dead and im still here i just want to know what im doing wrong in instances where other people seem to go right,3.0
15423,quarantine is killing me i feel like whenever i talk to somebody i make them feel bad bcs they know im bad they try to make me realize that im in a bad mentality and i end up screwing up everything and asking them to leave me alone in here in my bad mentality my even suicidal mentality these daysi asked my few friends to only text me if the conversation will end up with me being better but they dont care and we almost everytime end arguing bout shit that only makes me feel worsealso i feel pressured with the tasks from school bcs i know that my future is the one that will end up fucked if i dont do them but in my home theres only  computer for me my mother whose work is in the air at the moment and my brotheri dont know what to do i feel worse and worse more distanced with people that wasnt distanced with me when this shit startedim from spain i probably wrote something wrong gramatically or idki just want this shit to end i had a weak mindset before this and this just made it even weakeras i said english isnt my first language so sorry if something is wrong,3.0
15424,rt khushsundar dont forget kathuan n unnaodont forget lynchingsdont forget  deaths in atm queuesdont forget farmers committi,2.0
15425,markbaars morning sir  thanks for the input  ,0.0
15426,is chillin at the tam lounge in sao  hours to kills then back to the us estou muito triste para sair brazil ,2.0
15427,  good ah i need socks so bad my toes are going to fall off,0.0
15428,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
15429,going out for dinner just waiting for my lift to get here  very relieved im missing bgt amp the tweet commentary that goes with it lol,0.0
15430,im so alone everyday i crave for something more i have friends around me but i feel as if they all hate me my family cant and wont understand that im not just being sad i struggle to eat and sleep as of right now its  and i know itll be a while till i give out to the overbearing thoughts in my head and wake up in the morning feeling awful all over again i want nothing more than to be in a relationship with someone but all i do is push people away the second they start to get close whats wrong with me do i secretly know that im not capable of being in a healthy relationship or is the only reason i want to be in one is because i think it will solve all my problems im getting to the point know where i just dont know what to do i feel the same everyday nothing seems to make me laugh or smile anymore this is more of a rant than a plead for help btw just need to vent somewhere where no one knows me ,3.0
15431,is thinkin another year gone and stil in a loveless marriage treated like poo but what choice do i have ,2.0
15432,i meant to say watched in my last tweet sorry ,0.0
15433,rt thegabbieshow time flies when youre having anxiety,2.0
15434,hate not being able to skate it makes me feel like i have restless leg syndrom ,2.0
15435,getting followed by creepy coworkers is no fun ,2.0
15436,joegronlund ooops sorry i just saw the weather in your area  not niceanyway happy tuesday and napping maybe to you ,2.0
15437,im fine alsoup way to earlylolsoo those r all ur dogs to  i def want a pit lol ,0.0
15438,someone cheer me up ,2.0
15439, oh well its a gloomy afternoon out here you have a good rest ,0.0
15440,got me a date with a nifty guy my moxie finally pays off ,0.0
15441,sad day on metro luckily cransell and i avoided the chaos my thoughts are with those who have been affected ,2.0
15442,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
15443,pensm our lodgers threw a surprise bbqparty for me on friday and we may go out up city on friday and bicester village tomorrow ,0.0
15444,jessmcflyxxx hi hun i see your poorly  xxxxx,2.0
15445,i needs a job so much merch i wanna buy but because im poor i cant ,2.0
15446,ambientaware adult beverage was  to last bottle of central waters satin solstice want to finish both  trading spaces outlook grim ,2.0
15447,this virus is just another nail in the coffin school was closed for the remainder of the yeari was ripped away from my teachers without a final goodbye i even still got my school laptop the college trip will never happen my school play that the theatre department in which was the only place were i felt comfortable and confident at my new school worked months on is cancelled and like the pussy i am i cried all day and night over it i wish this didnt happen the seniors are going to miss out on prom their senior trips and walking down in a cap and gown to get their diploma something theyve dreamed of ever since they were little i dont even know why im writing my thoughts out for the whole world to see and this is also my first post i hate school but i didnt want it to depressingly end like this,3.0
15448,didnt realize how bored i am without him ,2.0
15449,i have no friends ,2.0
15450,tommcfly awwww bet youll be amazing  just nerves with being in a new country and stuff youll all do fine x,0.0
15451,gordok have it downloaded but have to wait on pwnage tool update ,2.0
15452,the only thing stopping me the only thing stopping me from doing it is other people i dont want to hurt them my girlfriend is having a difficult time and i dont want to make her miserable and deep inside i love all my friends i dont want to hurt them same with my familycant i just kill myself without people getting sad because of it ,3.0
15453,kachinja hi there  whats up i just wanna say that im not maya  sorry s,0.0
15454,is loving mortal combat right now ,0.0
15455,sooo excited going to see mileycyrus on tour in december ,0.0
15456,well its the wifes bday daughters gym meet hot rod cruise and i have work on the boat ,2.0
15457,i have serious tooth ache ,2.0
15458,ottawalawyers it wasa lamb ,2.0
15459,today im gonna try not to buy anything  my new motto is quotjust because i like something doesnt mean i have to buy itquot wish me luck,2.0
15460, wantingg to meet cheryl cole soo soo soo badlyy i just dont know what to do  love you cheryl l,2.0
15461, nikkimcwatters  of the lucky ,0.0
15462,smiley faces are the new peace signs ,0.0
15463,status of my life im not struggling per se im just annoyed and confused with myself right nowi got what i wanted i left school of my own volition and have moved to another state all by myself and yet i feel like i am doing nothing to better myselfothers see all these things as accomplishments but all i see is a never ending escalator that im walking up while it pushes against me all the projects i shelve all these ideas that put aside and say some day when i have the money or someday when i think im readybut what is stopping me from being ready now i have nothing right now im making videos and some of them are good but most are just things that i make and dont really care fori want o be making bigger things i want to make works of art but i am stuck in a body and head space that does not allow me to accomplish the aspirations i want toi am lost within my own head j ,3.0
15464,birchsoaps i was going outside but it is cold out there so i guess i will finish up some stuff in my studio until it warms up  and u,2.0
15465,is in for the night what a lame friday ,2.0
15466,heikokanzler that sounds just awesome how is the weather here is cold as hell ,2.0
15467,fazenastynas no sir you made that up lmao born in calinever left ever ,2.0
15468,rt counsellorscafe heres what its really like to suffer from depression  metro news depression  ,1.0
15469,devidarkwolf yeah i have but i hardly remembered the  one soooooo much love omg my video store ran out of the  though fail ,2.0
15470,kellyisakilla but the commercials always look so good ,2.0
15471,everyone seems kind of grumpy today   i hope that a good lunch and a nice nap will help,2.0
15472,here it comes again im fucking sick of this by this i mean pretty much everything my shitty monotonous empty life the dark clouds on the horizon that keep coming back once i think theyre finally gone i dont know if when or how hard this wave of depression is gonna hit me or how long itll last once its here but i can feel it coming ,3.0
15473,making a video about one of the gossip girls ,0.0
15474,jessyspider was it that bad it didnt wake me up so it cant have been ,0.0
15475,christinaluvzjk on my way ,0.0
15476,smoking then reading a little then going to sleep in my bed going to a party around  tomorrow for my sisters conformation so early ,2.0
15477,jonasbrothers   i want  go buy itim gonna cry if i dont ,2.0
15478,i know everyone hates retail which means im sure to hate it  as much but i feel like it will be good for me to ev ,0.0
15479, just been watching your last few episodes of hollyoaksu are such an amazing actor missing u on the programme  xxxx,2.0
15480,rt manisssh irony just committed suicide 😂😂 ,1.0
15481,dustins not in canada aboohoo ,2.0
15482,bigced thanks i never knew the world could be so cruel ,2.0
15483,chilany hey lady sorry for the late response everything is grreeeaat see your a busy bee as usual we should hang soon ,0.0
15484,rt maxinestyle drjonesaa  jeremycorbyn briangukc chunkymark willcpowell  ashkarmstrong pennyhollick ,2.0
15485,night at the museum  is not that funny and great like my friends said ,2.0
15486, yeah haha d which seats you tryna get i wanna get in the pit haha  or in the red blocks but they have no numbers s lol xx,0.0
15487,struggling to cope ive been struggling to cope over a very close family members death and have been trying everything to get rid of the bad thoughts in my head but it keeps coming back no matter what i do on top of the stress of school and getting a job i dont know what the fuck to do and im contemplating about just ending it all sorry about bad grammar just not in the mooddont have the effort,3.0
15488,kylerichter you need to come up with a nice job title like that for yourself ,0.0
15489,claudiasmr hey  its claudia like who i sit with right haha,0.0
15490,the tony awards are overrr missed it  i hope they show it in manila soon yay alice ripley,2.0
15491,watching apprentice final and trying to upload to flickr which is so slow its unreal tonight ,2.0
15492,im giving myself until  i have decided that it just doesnt make any sense to try to live a life where no one wants me i live in constant pain and my life is in shambles and im not strong enough to face the reality of my life im  and when i turn  on june  if nothing has changed and im still so horribly depressed its time to take my life i know that i should have more hope that my future will get better but i honestly dont its been day  how long since ive been silently sobbing in the shower because i feel so empty inside i usually am able to function and smile through most things but as of late its been seeping into me and its so hard to move to do schoolwork or anything i just remember that there is no one in this world for me and im just a waste and everyone around me is tired of me and i really dont blame them my life thus far has been so pathetic i feel like i might take my life even before this date but its set into stone part of me wants to spend these last two years trying to be the best i can be but the truth is is that i will fail to do that anyway and just disappoint myself more in the process my life is so empty hollow and meaningless im just tired of crying silently in the shower of trudging to classes to talking and laughing with people who dont respect me im tired of being trapped in this body and not having a way out im tired of not having a family a father anyone to just turn to in my darkest times,3.0
15493,rt  im telling yall right now if the world ever run out of rice i dont see a reason to continue living so yall better,0.0
15494,rt heckisthis girlfriend on a scale of  how much do u love meboyfriend onegirlfriend omg how could yougirlfr,2.0
15495,goin to bed so i can get up in  hrs to go back to work ,0.0
15496,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
15497,is it really only tuesday ,2.0
15498,nerdyplatypus i do read all the stuff thanks anxiety but so far none of them have a handy table indicating that   wine ,0.0
15499,today im sad my cat of  years has just stopped eating and is very sick ,2.0
15500,so far my day has consisted of waking up to waffles watching lost and laundry getting some work done  a double date for some drinks ,0.0
15501,i loved that im very happy to have seen it  filmclub,0.0
15502,etaksha i apologise for being wrong at math  haha is this what its like to be you ahh low blow but so worth it ,2.0
15503,this is a result of my winter hunting season   ,0.0
15504,omgtotally passed out on the couch got clima all these stairs  for bed,2.0
15505,ericrobertser  loved keatons tunes  thanks for the heads up  love that bluesy feel  ,0.0
15506,lazing around until work later ,0.0
15507,yes will have to do the same though i have backup of my phonebook on my sony data card but i am buying a nokia so the card wont fit in ,2.0
15508, yeah it was boiling and the aircon was naff lol least its sunny today  xx,0.0
15509,jonasbrothers you were rightthe song quoti only see youquot is amazing  im listening  to it all the time ,0.0
15510,me hates something gets anxietyme likes somethinggets anxiety cant win for loosing,1.0
15511,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
15512,icins o twitter is not bull myspace is bull i dont understand it  lol,2.0
15513,aww i wanted to ride my  wheeler today but there at the cottage ,2.0
15514,leaves for the airport at   noooooo,2.0
15515,patlike brutal legend not quite the megaton reveal we were both hoping for from wossy eh pat ,2.0
15516,blah i dont feel good i want mama to come home from the boat ,2.0
15517,what do you do when you cant do anything i hate every minute on some level even when good things happen in the back of my mind theres that lingering feeling that all i want is go back to bed i cant concentrate on anything i blah blah i cant concentrate on writing this postim nothing theres nothing all is just autopilot from couch to couch to bed no days are differentlife is just nothingi want freedom i want not to be so lonely k cant help it i cant move from this couch,3.0
15518,missjademusic hey sweetie arent you suppose to be doing a video shoot as of now ,0.0
15519,why must the weekends go by so fast i just wanna enjoy summer not just work ,2.0
15520,pcwplc haha yeah i dont think they do i dropped my sister when she was a baby it really explains a lot ,0.0
15521,dont know what to do very suicidal and went therapy for once trying to pull on for better days maybe therapy will help who knows what else should i try,3.0
15522,betzgold blackforestrian is that a word ,0.0
15523,cenšos visu uztvert un dom�t vienk�rš�k k� lauris dzied quotņem to visu viegl�k quot ,0.0
15524,good morning everyone i hope everyone has a good monday and cant wait to see what the week brings for me  ,0.0
15525,gminks hope to meet you in person today ,0.0
15526,jojofeat awwwww the video ,0.0
15527,i havent heard this abbey has swine flu song ,2.0
15528,something happened and i dont know how to deal with it i remember being who i was but i cant find it in myself to be that person anymore so basically as a teenager still living in my parents house had a friend over he was a trans boy and i didnt understand what i was doing he said he loved me but i dont understand what that even means my mom obviously noticed that something was different between how i usually act and how i was acting with him the next morning i walked upstairs with a hickey my mom noticed and brushed it off but when he left she talked to me and she thought i was getting dragged into some sort of sexual harassment but i wasnt we didnt do anything besides the hickey and my mom started crying that brought me back to a whole different time a worse time for our family i started crying i texted him what she said and i decided not to see him again and now im stuck in this emotional limbo if i stop concentrating my smile fades and i feel this nagging in my gut what is this feeling i dont feel the same im brought to this feeling of a starving poet and sad music i cant break it my friends wont understand it one of my friends is in some trouble and how am i supposed to be there for him if i dont even know what im feeling i really just want to not exist anymore this nagging feeling is killing me ive missed the last few days of school and i feel so neutral i was fired up a second ago i cant keep a emotion to stay,3.0
15529,i feel so sad for himif i could only take this pain from him i would taehyung dont worry or cry too much we are ,2.0
15530,alastairhm lol havent heard that word in aaages no i just hate my phone ,2.0
15531,ugh gotta wake up at  tomorrow morning ,2.0
15532,finally watching terminator ,0.0
15533,rt hugotunsent i am both happy and sad,1.0
15534,only  day left before boy goes back to np  on the bright side only  days till i see mum dad and pup ive missed them crazily xxxxxx,2.0
15535,walterpolyglot well the next after his dad anyway ,0.0
15536,rachmurrayx wow  i love him,0.0
15537,unfortunately the hurricanes didnt claw back the quottemporaryquot advantage they gave the chiiefs ,2.0
15538, were starting the dwert group ,0.0
15539,vinylred what mobile client do you use for twitter on your se phone ta ,0.0
15540, im still waiting   will i get a text when its done,2.0
15541,wishing we could get our kitty already ,2.0
15542,deltatwo oh man that sounds so good theres actually a publix near me wmuch uk candy but its not near you ,2.0
15543, quirk got a mention on seth godins blog   we have arrived ,0.0
15544,pplofindia vijayanpinarayi serves the morons who voted for him right let them pay for his medical vote sit amp his httpstcogxwtglhdrc,0.0
15545,  this is me trying to comfort herpoor girl  oh my heart is bleeding for her,2.0
15546,just testing out the new flightcontrol maps on my iphone ,0.0
15547, get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
15548,  weeks,2.0
15549,thebrandicyrus aww aha  your sooo awesome iloveyou x pleasee replyy  ,0.0
15550,feel like shit that my favorite girl idol looks nothing like she used to do i have fervently followed this superstar for years recently i have came to not be able to cope with the fact that she doesnt look like she used to do at all plastic surgery has changed her nice sweet petite appearance theres one show i have became obsessed with where she looks the finest looks the youngest and looks the healthiest it has became quite the addiction for me i stay up very late at nights to rewatch her entire show that she performed in a land far away i take note of every step she makes every note she sings in that showsomehow it feels like i have lost a childhood i have lost a friend in a car crash and knowing that her appearance will just continue to worsen makes it so much painfuli might be ridiculous for saying this but it feels like as if i have been raped my virginity was stripped away from me by a complete stranger by force and i can never have it back,3.0
15551,anotherpundit thanks ,0.0
15552,cant update my facebook status through twinkle whats wrong ,2.0
15553,domesticsluts er think that was me ans kevin mccloud my email  thank you keeping everything crossed ,0.0
15554,heres a great idea hear me out find a person who has depression tell them to kill themselves for trying to apologise watch them obey,1.0
15555,paperdream i look that movie too   and i just get out of shower with very wet hair ,0.0
15556,tommorow chemistry test  too bad,2.0
15557,although i have no money and no job i am happy happy happy and loving life right now yayyyyyya ,0.0
15558,chanikin i just moved house and we dont have net yet  deprived,2.0
15559,sleepy and unmotivated im in such a low these days i have no motivation and just lay in bed watching tv now i am sore and know i need to get up and move im craving a good workout but i just cant get myself motivated i do my normal routine for work but at home its straight to the bed or couch i just hate this roller coaster,3.0
15560,hate being depressed lol  so since maybe early highschool perhaps earlier i just havent been happy its like im dealing with this grey maw that eats up all my time  and it just sucks i hate not enjoying things i hate the near constant stream of i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die thats just become the usual background noise in my head i hate going outside and dealing with a world that looks like plastic far away yet away too close and most of all i hate that i cant even tell anyone about it barring random strangers on the internet and i feel guilty that it might be situational what if all my sadness stems from boring shit like school that i could easily fix if i werent such a lazy prick but what if my laziness stems from depressionlmao who knows at this point i wonder if it even matters wish i could tell my mom at least i have this awful hope that she just stumbles across the multitude of suicide letters i hid somewhere in my room i dont live there anymore i cant remember where they are but she told me shes doing renovations and i obviously never had the guts to go through with any of them so she justknows but like is that selfish of me wanting her to know sigh,3.0
15561,i am so sad rn   he has been so so so busy lately i hope he at least got some time with his family i am so httpstcomfoeyyhymf,1.0
15562,rt  this is terrible worse than terrible but those of us who see kids with mental health issues deal with these obsta ,2.0
15563,ceggs thank you  ,0.0
15564,purpose im really not sure if i do have depression but for the past year or so i have been having increased phases of sadness that i believe after much reflection originate from a lack of purpose and direction in lifemy wife and i have been together for many years and we do not want to have children we have pretty standard office jobs that we like to complain about i am quite introverted and dislike social situations particularly with larger groups of people and often need to drink in order to handle being somewhere out of my comfort zoneit has finally reached a tipping point where my wife is tired of me complaining about having to attend these social situationsi never say that i dont want her to go out and would happily let her go without me but its obviously going to end badly for our relationship if we live such separate lives and i become increasingly alonei dont know how to break free of my lack of confidence and self doubt in social situations and get out of this sadness i need to find a purpose in life but just cant find anything,3.0
15565,shopping for others is difficult task for me ,2.0
15566,missing my laptop ,2.0
15567, this guy from school told a bunch of people on campus that im a bitch bc i have an rbf ,2.0
15568,i want to be more motivatedventing ive been on lexapro for a few weeks now and ive been eating more mostly out of emotions and gaining weight i dont know how much i weigh now but ive been steadily gaining i feel super self conscious when im at work and i see myself in the mirror and seeing not only my body but feeling like my face is ugly around my coworkers as well its really hard for me to have motivation to exercise or eat healthy because when im upset i always feel like i need food to comfort me or give me energysuper unhealthy mindset i dont mind my job but at the same time i find it hard to socialize and have a smile on my face i feel programmed to just be doing the tasks at hand until my shift is over a heavy sigh as i get into my car and feel exhausted mentally this quarantine also isnt helping my mental health although im grateful i started lexapro when i did even though i dont feel that its helping much right now i know its probably gonna take some more time before it works i just want my problems to disappear and feel happier and motivated in my daily life,3.0
15569,lucylumcfly yeah  the song was written by him for and about us  xxx,0.0
15570,going to abbys softball game tonight and mkssing the lady gators in college world series   ltgo gatorsgt,2.0
15571,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
15572,kathtrinder markpower i didnt think lornamcampbell had ever even heard me sing  guess she can tell just by looking at me  emo,2.0
15573, fcs not working for everybody dear ,2.0
15574,shariiiii nothing much you left us all of a sudden ,2.0
15575,anyone else uhh have depression,2.0
15576,wut da fug why is the weather so gross sisters leavin to chitown tomahrow  booo gonna be so bored for the next month nahtttt,2.0
15577,house work today yeah at least i got flowers planted last week the back deck looks so much betterluv n the sunshine keep it comin ,0.0
15578,shawnorourke  aww thank you that really encourages me lt you are on bq live tweet nowgt ,0.0
15579,is on her way to school ,2.0
15580,just woke up  now have a chilled sunday breakfast  if my sis lets me chill xx,0.0
15581,tomsp but what could you buy i could buy a nice little house back in my home town and id guess my rent is cheaper than yours ,2.0
15582,stephykim it is  cheeseboard redefines pizza in the best way possible   hows your summer so far girl,0.0
15583,patriciagaw i love danny  lahat nalang adam nakakasawa na ,2.0
15584,meredithdavis i love skype too bad my mic stopped working ,2.0
15585,i dont feel good ,2.0
15586,thinking of starting on antidepressants ive been struggling with depression for a while and its only gotten tougher as time has gone on with one event after another weighing down on me and making me feel less and less content with lifeive always avoided antidepressants because ive seen what they can do to people and know they tend to have undesirable side effects but lately ive been starting to think of seeing a doctor to and see just how severe it is according to medical professionalsim just tired of feeling down all the time even when im faking a smile for the sake of everyone else so anyone else that has been on some have any advice moving forward,3.0
15587,this gifgt ,2.0
15588,i wish to meet manix abrera author of the best komiks evuuuuur kiko machine komiks ,0.0
15589,jordanknight i will def cruise with u next time i missed out on the last one not enough cash flow  i am saving now though yeah,2.0
15590,chris real gets it right about brett favre just like everything else  ,0.0
15591, but they are ,2.0
15592,mentalhealth is everyone everywhere  celebrities who have opened up about depression anxiety and mental healt ,2.0
15593,still not the same  my parents read my diary  so upset right now,2.0
15594,its gonna be a long afternoon ,2.0
15595,one last thing i got a really neat solar powered zipper pull key chain it has my name on it and it flashes it on an led screen ,0.0
15596,mollieofficial hehe  good luck  have good day at work  ,0.0
15597,hopeless the only way i keep myself from being depressed is by talking to people but i am a very clingy person and ill often talk to them late into the evenings even though i might have things to do once i stop talking to them though i feel happier temporarily i get sad i because we stopped talking and then i end up getting behind on homework when i am behind i panic and i get even more depressed cause now my parents see my grades and they get angry or i stay at home for the first few periods and they end up getting mad because im missing school it seems like i have to choose between being happy and making my schoolparents happy i feel so alone at times and i feel like if i stop talking to my friends i might not find a reason to live anymore how do i find motivation i want to be able to be happy without damaging my gradesfuture though ive already gotten accepted into college  but  how do i keep it up,3.0
15598,got back from the embassy missing one paper  go again on mondaygood luck me,2.0
15599,mrzhollywood someone would prob charge me  to wash n fold its prob gonna cost me over  jus to wash them   a load ,2.0
15600,i hate when you wake up early because you had a bad dream and cant fall back asleep ,2.0
15601,katerit if youre available tomorrow i would love to do so ,0.0
15602,am missin c twenny phor ,2.0
15603,soooo tiiired getting a time machine today for my mac ,0.0
15604,justinedomingo justineey weeny  why are you so emo  itd be hard to forget bout you cuz youre one of a kind ,0.0
15605,i need help i cant stop contacting a girl who doesnt want me im a weirdo with dyspraxia in addition to depression therea a girl in another country i have talked to off and on  i truly love her she seems so perfect to me but ive been trying to contact her since  or so she tells me she wants me to stop contacting her shes talked to me on and off and tried to help me with depression but i was too unstable i cant stop contacting her i hate it i know i should but im so depressed i cant help it id rather be dead than this forlone about someone its horrible,3.0
15606,my poor little pinky toe can barely handle breaking in new shoes   my,2.0
15607,rosejanice i did  but sadly t is one of those ones that i left on my external at home in aust ,2.0
15608,i just feel empty i try to be positive i try to do better for myself and others but it backfires my job sucks the job i was told i was getting and waited for for four months declined me the person id been talking to for almost a year ghosted me and it just leaves me feeling empty i wanna be better and improve myself but how can i if nothing gives me a chance,3.0
15609,i hate my life ,2.0
15610,kirstiealley what about quottweetsquot  for the baby lemur ,0.0
15611,i constantly judge myself and its incredibly unhealthy im not sure if theres a diagnosis or what the hell it is social anxiety maybe basically ive noticed how i tend to look at myself from the eyes of other peopleokay lets say i am walking in the mall maybe i think my walking is a little unnatural and so then i have this nagging thought of people potentially noticing when i look at strangers walking by its like a mirror because im really just looking at myself through them hoping theyre not judging me for anything i guess maybe the answer is i dont have much confidence and am constantly wanting to impress people to feel adequate overall in this scenario it feels like im living in third person rather than in first  i dont really think much about this problem but knowing that ill probably never solve it it burdens me and weighs me downthanks for reading hopefully my explanation isnt too confusing does anyone else feel this way can it be solved and yes i am depressed in case you think this is an irrelevant issue thanks,3.0
15612,over the rain  it better be sunny on the gold coast next weekend,2.0
15613,ooc tour over  feels quite sad with no tour next year ,2.0
15614,hello i´m from germany i like you very much ,0.0
15615,heading to myst   kam,0.0
15616,rt figmenthaapp do you have a writing routineit should be a combination of your environment time of day and behavior that helps reduc,1.0
15617,oh my god my mum sent me an email ,2.0
15618,flooded a new twitter acct with depressing thoughts how was your last hour,3.0
15619,im becoming emotionless i dunno what is happening to me i was depressed all the time cause of family,3.0
15620,rain in germany ,2.0
15621,i dont know whats wrong and i dont know how to fix it story of my life at this point i hate to admit that lately giving up has been starting to look good again after so many years that were welllivedi have health issues that i cant get rid of now even though ive generally eaten well and exercised and am often in pain my job makes this worse doing things i love causes me to be in pain im tired of trying to figure out what exactly is wrong and waiting my partner walked out on me a few weeks ago without saying anything other than they werent ready to be in a relationship i thought things were okay and i have had no closure as to what actually caused it to happen i dont know what if anything i could have done to fix things and to be better i cant do anything about this now because we dont talki have no friends left due to moving and there is nothing i can do to change this none of the reasons commonly cited affect me  im not rude i dont expect everyone else to do all the work i have hobbies and show interest in others as best i can etc i cant do anything about this except wait and hope i meet peoplei dont live near my family and theres nothing i can do to spend more time around people who actually want me here i cant do anything about the fact that they are often busy sometimes too busy to see me even when theyre in townim so tired of feeling helpless,3.0
15622,sethsimonds lol and i thought i was the only one who had to go through that whole evil eye stage before i was allowed to borrow a pen ,0.0
15623,rawreli aww no sangeria  oh well sgt peppers will be fun too  happy early bday,2.0
15624,lol george george george of the jungle watch out forthattree xx lol hyper today  so how r  doing,0.0
15625,im trying to help a friend im trying to help a friendfull disclosure i do not have anhedonia or depression i did but i got through it and i truly admire all of you for fighting so hard but i think a friend of mine may be suffering from it i was wondering what i should do in order to help her she seems very tired all the time and says she wants to talk to me but then gives very short answers and doesnt leave a lot of room for me to work with we have been fighting more recently but she fell into a state a few months ago where she isnt experiencing happiness or pleasure from the things that once gave it to her she is constantly stressed and extremely tired despite getting over  hours of sleep a night she has a bad self image for herself and here abilities despite having no reason to she doubts her abilities even though shes incredibly talented she also send to get irritated more easily as of recent despite denying she gets angry or sad and withdrawn not wanting to talk she always responds with im just tired when it happens too shes one of my closest friends and i want to do everything i can to help her out but when i ask what i can do she always says she doesnt want me to do anything i know if the roles were reversed shed try to cheer me up i just want to know from people with more experience what im doing wrong or what i can do she used to be such a happy individual and brought so much happiness and joy into my life when i needed it the most and i want to try to do the same for her but every time i try she pushes me away more and more she says she doesnt feel like talking about it and thats fine i just want to help even if it means not knowing what shes going through she always joked and laughed and messed around and now she seems hollow and even she doesnt know why she doesnt seem to want to talk to me even though she says she does do i need to stop talking to her for a little bit am i the problem im away at college so i cant be there in person but i want to help her i try to give get pep talks and make her feel good about herself to try to see her the way i do but i feel like im making it worse she said she didnt think she could respond in conversations the way that would meet my expectations and it crushed me because it made me feel like i have been putting a lot of pressure on her when i just want her to be herself laughing joking playing around maybe im doing a lot wrong and i probably am i just want to help her so bad and i have no idea how i fear she might be depressed and i dont want that for her i was depressed for like  years and it was the wise experience of my life and i developed a mild case of anhedonia i really dont want that for her and i dont know what to do can someone please provide guidance to me,3.0
15626,rt bernmelnyk teen suicide is on the rise we must do a better job with prevention and teaching cbtcoping skills before depression occur,1.0
15627,rt kaylinnick i hate being home alone it makes me sad,2.0
15628,akosijacke mabagal din net ko eh its been raining for days ,2.0
15629,billywilliwaw im in the theatre and the lights havent warmed it up yet ,2.0
15630,i hate gymmmm ,2.0
15631,mileycyrus  please come here for your next tour   i love you very much enjoy filming your new film,2.0
15632,yay site maintenance is over  uploading chapter  the fifth and final chapter of the marathon as we speak or tweet in this case lol xd,0.0
15633,rt daddybuell im still sad at the fact were never getting new music from xxx ever again ,1.0
15634,httpwwwfacebookcom gt my new home  visit if you have time ,0.0
15635,finally home and sad its time to regroup sober up and head back to work then i can start planning to permanen ,1.0
15636,i guess everyone is in bed then not together obviously all apart from me ,2.0
15637,kimjohnstone you reading in a pit with a lion on a snowy day or is that some off the wall lion chaser remark ,0.0
15638,theres always a first for everyonefor the first time im packing early for a trip ,0.0
15639,klcthenerd srry u didnt have any fun ,2.0
15640,stewartkris please follow me thanks ,0.0
15641,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
15642,nikkis party and maybe aarons later busy day my feet still hurt and i miss my seniors ,2.0
15643,loves army wives ,0.0
15644,alibox let me know if you have any questions about carbonmade ,0.0
15645,mcpactions i did i should be able to get something to you by the end of today if thats alright ,0.0
15646,hmmmmstill kicking procrastinating a little bitother than that a little bored  suppose hit me up ,0.0
15647,evernote very nice ,0.0
15648,wowits actually been a long day i want a popsicle   and i hate you btwyea you ur reading this and i hate you,2.0
15649,exam tomorrow somewhat big exam tomorrow so i yeah im not really in a good mental space right now send uplifting memes i guess,3.0
15650,yay cant wait  the bay next wknd  heidiortiz miizgemiinii ohellno jespinosa  jscratch hoodratmiguel n my fam ,0.0
15651,hey kknyrass ayyyyy whats up no solo fc  u i c   kknyrass live gt ,2.0
15652,platonic love failed pakistani guy problems hi there im a  year old single pakistani male have a problem which is maybe common but not talked about loneliness no female figure who can understand our emotions no sex involved just someone who a guy can love care for ans adore her personality even that is hard or maybe impossible to find what to do i have gone into depression because of lonelinessthe woman who i loved in a platonic way gave me a lot of insult and i had to appologize and chase her a lot she used to tell me ee can talk forever and she loves me too as a cousinbrotherly figure who always supported her even though she was married but in the end she left megirls are most welcome to comment,3.0
15653,architectjohn have i told you lately that you are fabulous ,0.0
15654,i keep crying i keep crying i feel like an empty shell i cant do anything are these effects to the zoloft i began taking a week ago im slowly losing my grips with reality and i just want to put an end to it i need help i really really need help,3.0
15655,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
15656,is bored as andre is playing on the wii ,2.0
15657,i need to turn off the alarms on my phones ive been awake since  its too warm to go back to sleep ,2.0
15658,kacymariemae oh god im sorry kacy  you can turn my device tweets off ill understand xx gar what a buttmunch why isnt he,2.0
15659,jordanknight  please dont put the cruise on sale yet i already missed first one cuz i was too sick just not back to work getting checks,2.0
15660,depression is fcked because depression is fcked because if youre having a good day or feeling good you feel weird like something is going to happen even going as far as putting yourself downive been going on walks around the building on my breaks to get out and try to clear my head i look in the windows of the buildings and instantly i think what a fatass tf is wrong with you,3.0
15661,this serani no games song is a straightmakes u wanna dance and do the grown up kinda loljk ,0.0
15662,yeah snapchat really isnt helping my whole mental health situation,1.0
15663,timprescott wasnt the quotlayersquot just absolute positioned divs web compability killer ,0.0
15664, in  freeroll too bad i needed  or better to cash ,2.0
15665,on the weight loss front i am down  pounds since august  this weekend i finished a  mile jog outside without stopping ,0.0
15666,wants you to stop by  church st in montclair nj for a free cup of coffee  no purchase neccessary ,0.0
15667,stephenchavez yezzir too bad u cant go ,2.0
15668,stroughtonsmith lol deep fried ice cream ,0.0
15669,marcymc good gollyim so glad you posted pictures id hate to not have that visual floating in the memory banks ,0.0
15670,am i depressed or am i being a pussy im in  grade  i spent four years feeling like my life was meaningless and wishing i was never born  some days were better than others some days were worse one night i almost killed myself  but several months ago i started to feel happy  i started taking care of myself working out eating well  there was a girl i really liked and while i i wouldnt admit it to anyone that asked she was my primary motive for improving my body and life  two months ago just about a week after i started to try and get to know her i found out shes gay  ive been having an up and down last couple of months some weeks are more positive than others  but i havent felt as happy a single day as those few months where the prospect of being with this girl was still fathomable  i hate talking to others about this because i feel like im just being a pussy about it but i seriously hate how aggressively my mood is able to change from factors out of my control  if i have positive interactions at school i feel great for the rest of the day if i dont i want to go to sleep as soon as i leave the gym  i havent taken depression into consideration since i was still obese because i thought losing weight and being with this girl would fix my issues but the closer i get to one of my goals as well as the other goal being now completely out of reach for me i get those same negative thoughts i used to have  and i hate it so much and i was hesitant to write anything like this because i wonder if im just going through shit every teen does but i feel like i needed to write this out to you guys  sorry for the stream of consciousness writing style ive got stuff to do and ii think it better portrays my feelings than a well refined paragraph would do,3.0
15671,the place where i livefrom google earth   ,0.0
15672,need a showerneed to go to london to see the dinosplaurs at nhm  danngg,2.0
15673,theraychul if youre getting a cold try drinking sprite it will stop it or help you recover if you get one seriously feel better soon ,0.0
15674,im so lost in life i feel like im faking everything about myself the things i like the things i feel i feel like im making up feeling depressed or liking certain hobbies and games and others so i can use it to be manipulative i feel like an attention seeker am i really feeling depressed or am i acting so that others can feel bad for me im in so much confusion i feel like a stimulation or something i think too much i contradict myself i feel shame for doing anything im standing waiting for the bus embarrassment im talking to a friend embarrassment i feel empty but so full and overwhelmed with emotion,3.0
15675,brianwelburn thank you for the retweet ,0.0
15676,youngq preach it brother ,0.0
15677,enjoidrpepper its not completely gone its just not working well  and ocarina of time ,2.0
15678,with my happy drug  i love her,0.0
15679,americanadian sorry sheils wont be able to make it this time   good luck tho ,2.0
15680,musicislyfe thats whats up  i really appreciate it  and i may go live today so stay tuned,0.0
15681,obaadepoju im goin away amp i cant have my fone ,2.0
15682,is fixin to get up and ready to go to odessa to spend to with the family still alittle under the weather ,2.0
15683,woke up with a headache and cant find her viola book  crap,2.0
15684,got only  hours of sleep i knew i shouldnt have had that last cup of coffee  ,2.0
15685,annoyed i got up too late to get my motorbike taxed at the post office bah why cant the post office keep sane hours ,2.0
15686,bye twitter people home on the afternoon have no idea what the time is in usa ,0.0
15687,im so mf sad  how do i stop this,2.0
15688,teachernz thanks ,0.0
15689,i think my depression just came back from vacation,0.0
15690,georgestirling arse no i misread it  buy one get one half price damn,2.0
15691,realy need a cup of tea cant believe we ran out of sugar ,2.0
15692,mikemathia good for you sleep tight then wake up freshly ,0.0
15693,mrimakehitz  i was supposed to go hang with calysialevert today  but my day has been bananas i miss her,2.0
15694, aww  that was cute,0.0
15695, sick and now i dont live at home so nobodys taking care of me  need medicine,2.0
15696,wants the meds to kick in knock me out and stop crying ,2.0
15697,super hungry craving grilled fish ,0.0
15698,jolope did i detect a hint of my question in your latest hypnosis tweet ,0.0
15699,uh ohidk if you can tell but i cracked my camera screen  ,2.0
15700,dougiemcfly owndont do thatim sure it wasnt its fault ,2.0
15701,ddrdiva i am truly blessed  they are gonna grill chicken breasts for me amp make veggies  they want me  b able  train healthy ,0.0
15702,robocop  im ngl i listen to shit like that when i feel bad about myself,2.0
15703,this will sound stupid but if i found proof of an afterlife my depression would be gone im mainly depressed because i just cant cease to exist anymore after life i cant live in the moment despite the advice people give i hate the thought of never seeing all my closest people again after its overi hate the thought of who i am will just be all gone  i hate the thought of it all i know you guys will say that i should just enjoy what i have ive tried but i cant i just cant ugh there has to be something more there just has to be fuck,3.0
15704,puffaddering you should talk to athenagoddess about twilight she is like the resident expert on the topic  ,0.0
15705,off to beddid homework for  hr  minsand its not even complete and its mathgarrrtest tomorrow night ,0.0
15706,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
15707,i self harmed for the first time in months i feel ashamed i havent self harmed in any way since august the most ive done is snapped a hair tie on my wrist since august a lot has happened i got kicked out and am now living with my best friend and being fostered by her family though not for long ill be of legal age soon enough my family continues to mess things up for me including not letting me see my younger siblings who i basically raises and am very close to my drug addict mother took my sister on christmas which my half brother was with his grandmother they were busy on halloween its been rough but ive powered though it that is until today im currently going through a depressive episode right now which has been going on for about a week and a half to two weeks its the worst one ive had in a while and i gave in the cuts arent too bad and theyre in my thigh and not my wrist but i still feel so ashamed i tried to hard i was doing so good i ruined a full half year of work and i dont even have anything that i should be rightfully sad about right now it just happened my boyfriend is going to be so disappointed and i dont know if im even telling him i have no one else i can go to so im here,3.0
15708,listening to new song i just got yay ,0.0
15709,have just cancelled the premiere of dark glass  it just wasnt going well maybe heading for recycling benllech shells instead then,2.0
15710,ac not working at work  alls im sayin is clothes are gonna start comin off real quick,2.0
15711,wants my coldstone dateraquel ,0.0
15712,rt lfpress emergency mental health care still stalled httpstcoxynngavevg ldnont ,0.0
15713,cavettbinion haha looks a lot like watching dvr on my couch ,0.0
15714,in short thought thedecemberists played the best show ive ever heard thank you geekstress and faekeeper for making me go ,0.0
15715,jamieoliver i wish i could but shes too far away ,2.0
15716,cloudy in santa anai only packed one sweater ,2.0
15717,rt kellymarield if elected i will help build a better future for people with mental health problems  httpstcoseiqlh,0.0
15718,my skin is horrendous ,2.0
15719,i love my pops hes a fun guy i dont want sunday to come ,2.0
15720,doctors appointment scheduled for tomorrow im scared to bring up how ive been feeling so ive been a pretty quiet and depressive person for as long as i can remember and i always chalked it up to my nature and despite being unhappy about the way i was i never took it seriously much once i entered college however my moods really took a plunge and i became much more recluse and sad as my two closest friends had moved far away and i stayed in state it culminated in me getting hospitalized for an infection that i had let develop around finals week i decided at that point i would make in effort into getting better for myself and my loved ones sakeive been in therapy for over a year and was in group counseling for  months and while thats helped me with my behavior and my attitude i keep hitting the same snags ive always fought with low energy feeling very alone yet wanting to get away from everyone even suicidal thoughts and tendencies at some points ive been wanting to talk to my doctor for some time about this since i truest believe now its much more than something in my control im just scared since hes an older stern gentleman through my moms insurance so i dont feel so comfortable with him im anxious that i might not get taken seriously or that im just some kid looking for a prescription and im scared if i get tested that itll say im not really depressed and im just crazy for thinking that has anyone else been in a position where they had to open up to a professional,3.0
15721,oh serenity was so freaking good kind of sad ,2.0
15722,ememess love the be good tanyas and havent heard that for ages ,0.0
15723,i should not be up this early after only going to bed at   so so tired,2.0
15724,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
15725,christilton giacchinos music made me cry again i saw up today best pixar film ever ,0.0
15726,i live my whole life inside my head sorry for my english im not a native speakerive noticed recently that i just cannot seem to be present whenever i am surrounded by other people i try as much as i can to focus on my surroundings and to the words spoken by people around me most of the times i only hear half of the conversations kept by people around me the other half of time i become overwhelmed by thoughts i ve thought a thousand times these thoughts never change they are always the same always on repeat its like hearing two of your favorite songs all day and night long except that those thoughts are not pleasant at all people perceive me as being cold or a snob due to my inability to be present or express warmth toward them i just want to stop living inside my head a place where there seems to be no happiness and warmth i want to start doing things socialize more with other people and most of all i just wish i could start see worth in myself i just feel worthless many people consider me as an intelligent and attractive girl but then sometimes i cant stop feeling as if i am dumb and ugly other times the thought that i am mediocre boring and there is nothing interesting about me kills me i just wish i could start loving myself with all my imperfections will i ever start viewing myself as worthy of love and praise ive been feeling worthless since high school i am  now i guess i just want to stop living inside my head,3.0
15727,just started my first ever  footage test editvia imovie well u cant go straight to fcstudio  got to start off small ,0.0
15728,is this typical is it typical to have moments of clarity or lifted mood while you are clinically depressed   i have been seeing a therapist for the last month  i knew i was unhappy but it came to a head that prompted me to call my works eap service after i blew up at my wife in a way more hostile tone than i rationally should have i came to a realization afterward that something was wrong as i shouldnt have reacted in the way i did my reaction was out of proportion so i called the eap line and was set up with a cognitive behavioral therapist in last weeks session in talking about my mood and how ive been dealing with day to day life i said maybe im depressed my parents are on antidepressants and started at about my age s  ive never talked to them about why they are on them so i have no idea if something like what im experiencing is what they experienced  anyway he suggested that an antidepressant may be helpful  he first suggested same over a prescription but i think i would prefer a prescription med because a theres a lot more research about them and b my prescription plan would make a drug a lot cheaper than an otc supplement  so i called my pcp to see if i can get an appointment to see him soon knowing that i have taken steps today to hopefully improve things has caused me to have a lifted mood and away from the feeling of worthlessness and on the edge of tearing up for no reason have others experienced this  like today im just thinking im not depressed i was just sad for awhile im overreacting and dont need therapy or a med ive kind of always thought depression was a continuous uninterrupted feeling of sadness and despair but right now at this moment im feeling kind of ok ,3.0
15729,mstakatoke thanx boo ,0.0
15730,sometimes i feel like im walking on air ,0.0
15731,waiting for a lecture to start ,2.0
15732,yay im officially a loser ,0.0
15733,im at the beach with scott marina tim and ant lin theres no sun though ,2.0
15734,sweetkarekaregulsahcetin omg why does he have to go omg i have to give one of my dogs away today too  sigh hope ure ok,2.0
15735, watching the bachelorette ,0.0
15736,radiocallum congratulations ,0.0
15737,runkeeper  need a translator  i speak a bit of italian ,0.0
15738,naushin yay  althoughthats assuming its going to take me  hoursi dont think itll take that long haha xxx,0.0
15739,curcumin helped me today  this shit really works u can get them they are orange pills cures depression in  mins and decreases anxiety,3.0
15740,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15741,freysiherrera sad baby😪,1.0
15742,histoire géo ,2.0
15743,my son is sadif,0.0
15744,my depression has made me into a jerk im not sure how to start fixing this throughout the past few months ive become a lot more of a negative debbie downer and also a clingy friend im too sensitive to my friends jokes and im slowly socially regressing to a point where my attempts at jokes are met with pity laughs ive become significantly more boring and also more bored when i try distracting myself by engaging in hobbies i simply cant do it i know this is all because i badly need to address some issues of the past year but i dont know how yes there are obvious things like seeing a therapist and meditating  but those are not really starting points because i dont know what to tell the therapist or focus on fixing during meditation please let me know how youve dealt with this any words of kindness or stories might really help me feel ready to address things i just dont know how ,3.0
15745, that just makes me sad that i missed out cuz we had to get up early the next day to volunteer  but cool for you cuz youre in it,2.0
15746,uh idk whats going on anymore wait do you ,2.0
15747,johnvbryson oh johnnie i guess we just werent raised in an environment where every thing we did was special  poor us ,2.0
15748,watching mamma mia greece is beautiful makes me want to visit ,0.0
15749, care to share a pen i have none and am resorting to markers ,2.0
15750,my depression is part of the reason im depressed first off if youre hoping for a wow i found something that works thread this isnt it ive never in my life felt so miserable part of me wants to die part of me feels i already havei have a good paying job one of the best in my city new car manageable debt and money in the bank i have no friends except my mom i could have friends if i got my fucking shit together need to lose  lbs need to stop having unhealthy as fuck coping mechanisms need to use the computer less and do something with my life i can barely organize my thoughts right now but this overwhelming feeling comes and goes in soulcrushing waves this is the first time ever though that the thought of wanting to be dead over feeling this emotional pain inside me has actually happened i feel like im at the brink of accepting that my depression is too much to handle without meds or therapy or something i want therapy i want to know why i feel this way how can i not feel this way i cant outscream the things my mind tells me even though my logic knows its lies im not a worthless piece of shit im not irredeemable im not broken beyond repair  i treated my girlfriend of  years badly because i was selfish and didnt know how relationships work and i feel im the reason shes become incredibly depressed and full of anxiety and has put on weight and for fucks sakes she was so healthy and happy before i cant forgive myself i could forgive myself if i hurt myself but i cant forgive myself for having a part in someone else being unhappy to the extent she is why couldnt i have had a fucking dad i could talk to about this why couldnt i have had a dad to show me how to be a proper man why could my step dad shame me for things i didnt understand why did he say the things he did do the things he did why did i find solace in pornography and video games and waste my life away escaping why csnt i even gather the mental clarity to understand myself even though i know for a fact i could not even a few years agoits all i can think about im so sad genuinely sad i hate myself for what i did and how i am i want so much to undo it all why am i so bitter now i was so nice when i was a kid why do i run from conflict i used to revel in iti need help so badly fuck if i could just get a therapist i feel like things could be fixed but why cant i get myself to call my doctor and get helpi dont know why im posting this or maybe i do its a call for help because i dont wanna die i really dont but i feel so beyond help and everyone else is depressed too and were all drowning together i think it just feels better to verbalize my frustration than to keep it inside i guess ,3.0
15751,i make a mean tuna sandwich ,0.0
15752,oh sorry to hear that  guess ill see you when i get home,2.0
15753,im playing neopets watching top model reruns and tweeting at mattynewport  ahhhh spring break ,2.0
15754,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
15755,neildiamond never keep any secrets ,0.0
15756,mileycyrus   i can look up to miley bc i am the same age as her i think that is awesome ,0.0
15757,just got home i am a bit exhausted but still gotta do some work for university ,2.0
15758,scottknowles hi my darling yes tweeting in ks a beautiful  for the high hows the homework  no skype dont know where it is ,2.0
15759,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
15760,really tiredi cant seem to sleep beyond  in the morning  buti interpreted my dreams this morningweeeiiirrrd,2.0
15761,i love my boyfriend i love our dog i love our beautiful house i love our life im a tad overwhelmed by love right now ,0.0
15762,digigifts can you dm me the link my security block tinyurlquot ,2.0
15763,your a rockstarwere the ones who made you   luvviinnn that song atm d,0.0
15764,im just sad now,1.0
15765,im at school and theres no one here and im shaking bc im awkward and anxiety,2.0
15766,speedgtweed so i go to a commuter college everyone i used to be friends with now lives out of state and theyre having the time of their lives so fucking obviously im depressed i started smoking weed just to pass the fucking time and enjoy myself however apparently the state of indiana would rather force me to take adderall a solution that historically hasnt worked for anyone in my family and also ruin my finances as if i had any money to give i spent a good portion of my personal life savings on buying my dads old car that promptly decided to break progressively so much for saving money by commuting huh im even more in debt due to my dad so kindly paying for my legal expenses as well as multiple auto accidents that werent my fault and would have killed me if i didnt react luckily my insurance company decided that the accident was my fault because they couldnt find the pantom car next time i wont react my mom has had anxiety to the point where shes the worlds most functional vegetable due to medications that i will likely soon be put on ive hated my father since as far back as i remember but nothing i can possibly do frees me from his grips he fucking owns me every day he comes home and tells me what he doesnt approve of in my life and plays the good guy by listening  every major problem in the past four year i completely called and pointed out to him but he just writes it off every fucking time he literally told me id be depressed too if my room looked like this i specifically told him that i couldnt handle  credit hours my first college semester but oh no i wont get the student safe driving discount so i flunked all my classes hes trying to force me to be friends with him by denying me any freedom i drive my clingy selfish girlfriend to school every day because she doesnt have a licence but her dad is paying for the car and the gas i just want to die my life has quantitatively only gotten worse over the years i just want to die,3.0
15767,why i still lose followers  the people hates me the world hates me or maybe  read more ,2.0
15768,okay then fine i realllly dont know what to do anymore ,2.0
15769,ruthieff i knowwwww i had to work  i really wanted to be there  next time for sureeee,2.0
15770,nathanrdotca ooc well mission accomplished been giving out clues as to what it is  through my counterpart that is ,0.0
15771,contemplating suicide i have been contemplating suicide for the last couple of days nothing seems to be going right for me im going to be graduating college in december and i have no idea what i want to do with my major i currently work at my college part time in between classes and to be honest i dont think they treat me fairly there i was recently talking to this girl and i thought we hit it off i thought we were going to takes things serious we only hungout three times once in february and twice recently she recently told me that she didnt feel a connection with me and decided we should just be friends i was devastated and i still am to be honest my anxiety is through the roof anymore and i am going to a doctor tomorrow to see what i can do i just feel hopeless anxious sad and miserable all the time most of my friends seem like they are all happy so why cant i nothing can ever go my way and i am constantly thinking that my friends think that i am a joke my parents expect the best from me but to be honest im probably going to disappoint them in the end i even disappointed that girl because she didnt feel a connection with me shes probably going to find a better guy than me and i dont blame her she deserves it for the stuff that she has been through i am just exhausted from feeling this way all the time i just want it to end i wish i can sleep forever,3.0
15772,adrianag thank you  followfriday,0.0
15773,rt kylieshiring so many ppl look for a relationship with someone daily and try to force something to workout just bc theyre lonely and i,1.0
15774,trying to sleep but my headache is killing me ,2.0
15775,movie night at my house ,0.0
15776,i get so shy when i have feelings for someone its kinda sad,2.0
15777,its a beautiful morning  have a good day ,0.0
15778,connorjack didnt want or even need it ,0.0
15779,virginbreakfast youll be in the crowd with us for the nkotb show right ,0.0
15780,will arnett on conan whattttt  love love love him that is all,0.0
15781,lol well at least yall got some rest  kstarrsd,0.0
15782,has become ever so slightly obsessed at surfing bird by the trashmen  because everybody knows that the bird is the word,0.0
15783,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
15784,just went shopping ,0.0
15785,animals are the best sorry if this isnt allowed here i was walking home from school after having a pretty bad day and some lady was walking her dog without a leash chill he definitely wasnt aggressive and the little pupper just ran up to me and started giving me kisses and wagging its tail i actually smiled for the first time today  i love animals,3.0
15786,matthut good luck to everyone at the storey today  hope to visit when i am in the uk at the end of june,0.0
15787,baringlinggi try chewing one whole raw garlic hard to swallow but it does wonders ,0.0
15788,sammydroke sounds like fun  ,0.0
15789,sassyback hehe on the weekend or after work generally thursday or friday nights are better ,0.0
15790,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
15791, were going to be out of town all week     wont be back until next sat night  next time for sure though,2.0
15792,vieriu i am blessed beyond measure ,0.0
15793,still working on new songs ,0.0
15794, strong bad i think i will ,0.0
15795,am looking forward to wednesday ,0.0
15796,saudiaspire youre welcome ,0.0
15797,reedmcdowell omg im so sorry ,2.0
15798,watched mtv awards again ,0.0
15799,need to vent about some things sorry for the super vague generic title but i really need to vent after enduring another one of the worst days of my life this will be long boring and hastilynot well written so i dont expect anyone to read even past this pointim a  year old male and for as long as i can remember ive suffered from social anxiety for a long time i couldnt figure out what was wrong and just accepted my problem as a part of who i am i am also very introverted and most of the activities i enjoy are solitary this combination resulted in me not having very many friends and for years at a time since elementary school not having any friends at all in my entire life i have had maybe  friends who i would talk to daily in class or at recess throughout elementary school but never did anything outside of that part of me always felt ashamed and strange for not having friends but when id imagine having friends i couldnt come up with anything i would do with them much less figure out how to make them it would take too long to explain this here but i am a very creative person and for as long as i can remmber would write stories and imagine expansive fictional universes and not having anyone to share them would make me sad many times but not necessarily depressedfast forward to middle school and due to emotional abuse for the first time i remember depression hit me hard my living situation had to change i had to transfer to a considerably larger school which i hated and stopped caring about grades or anything else school related before then i was always a straighta student and was regarded as one of the smartest kids in my class despite no one really knowing me instead of doing schoolwork i took up an interest in programming and spent many hours every day learning and practicing after nearly failing i got reprimanded and had to get my shit together to graduatefast forward to freshman year of high school and i attended a smaller school where i felt a bit more comfortable my depression had subsided and i was back to being a straighta student my programming hobby turned into a serious personal project which i poured hundreds of hours into in my free time and kept me motivated still had no friends and felt anxious etc but i could cope until i developed the hardest crush in my life so far i obviously felt the most anxiety around them and despite my best efforts could never even manage to say hi to them after my failure with this i became quite depressed again gave up on the idea of having relationships and lost motivation to go to school it never got as bad as middle school but i had missed many days at a time feigning sickness and developed severe procrastination issues despite this my grades only suffered slightly and i still managed to graduate valedictorian too anxious to give a speech and get accepted into university where i would major in cs everybody told and continues to tell me college is supposed to be the best time of my life but its been the exact opposite continued below,3.0
15800,good morning getting ready for the quotquestion of the dayquot at  pst then im going back to sleep ,0.0
15801,ericviolette hi eric i hope your having a beautiful saturday ,0.0
15802,if youre at the cum town  patreon tier you get to watch nick mullen live stream his suicide,1.0
15803,cabinet painting happening again    coat number two after taking son to airport amp visit to local paint store  ,0.0
15804, broke my iphone ,2.0
15805,so so angry i can not believeshe does not deserve it ,2.0
15806,rt  one of my biggest road trip fears is a deer deciding to end his life by running across the road taking me out with him in,2.0
15807,yyyyaaayyy day off from school and exams tomorrow but it has to be spent studying  ,2.0
15808,thanks juliethekill i just needed to write my anger down haha  tweet new record ,0.0
15809,thestatus thanks guys  i now have a whole  followers lol u r so sweet what did you think of long islandvacationed there onceamploved it,0.0
15810,rhonda no crazies i bet we know some of them hahaha chat whenever i should have internet tonite ,0.0
15811,andy samberg is dorkysexy ,0.0
15812,i honestly have everything to be happy now but still i want to end everything i am a  woman i had lived terrible things in my life like rpes abuse violence and am an easy victim to manipulation and fearthis year i tried to make something good of my life i had begged pardon and apologize for everything i had done to people that i hurt i have money on my account to help my big brother when ill be gone i had wrote a letter to my parents to explain them the pain i had been through i had recontacted my ex to make sure he was fine and he is i had called my parents to make sure theyre okay i had been  weeks with coworkers to test if my decision was the right one that if the fact of being with positive and dumb people would change my decision theyre going back to their homes tomorrow i had discovered someone of my orphanage who considers me as her sister i had forgiven to my friends who helped my rpist to hide what he did to me in order to not them thinking its their fault to them to continue to live even though theyre one of the reason i wanna die i had apologized to a girl who bullied me and who i bullied un return and she accepted i am now ready to end my life i cant stand it anymore i cant stand my nightmares anymore i cant stand the fact of being afraid of every single noise i had tried every therapist and no one could helped me i know that if i dont i will finish by ending my life in an asylum because i already had been i know that no one could ever understand being as weak as me i know that every single time i try to explain that people ignore or calling be a weirdo or an attention whore i accepted it though i decided to prepare the end of my life in a quiet way youre basically the only one to know i think finally that i need someone to tell me they need me to stay but i also know that the day after my name age body would become ashes and that my family friends or coworkers would be not taking this seriously i want to die because i feel like this year being the kind of year where everything finish i will buy a rope in two days when my coworkers would leave my home and proceed to my end i dont want to hurt anyone but i dont see anything to do to escape my nightmares i dont see anything to do except this to calm my sick mind i feel like the day ill die would be the most clean day of my life i would be clean again like a brand new start when everything end i am sorry to the ones that loved me but honestly i just want to die and i cant force myself to live only for them please understand this long text i am a little stressed sad and afraid,3.0
15813, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,2.0
15814,i dont deserve to be loved convince me that i am wrong,3.0
15815,is spending her saturday doing work ,2.0
15816, probably trey songz biggest fan  not a day goes by  that i dont walk around singin his tunes  quot songbook baybee quot ,0.0
15817,i know but its hard   ,2.0
15818,rt oraltwjnk depression ,1.0
15819, whats the matter my yummy cuntsicle ,2.0
15820,a few more batches to roast then blend amp bag espresso then its delivery timeto cold to ride motorcyclefor me anyway ,2.0
15821,i am felling really bad whit this quarentine hi i am from a really liitle and shitty city i paid for a college for the exam to pass the universitary pass exam i am really sad because my parents paid for a college that i didint went and a private school that only sent mountains of homework i starting to fealling sad and alone in my house i cant do my homework because i have to care my brothers i am really afraid i dont want to think about all my study goes to thrash for this fucking covid well excusme if i dont write really well i only write this for express what i fell thanks if u read i really apreciate if u are feling like this and waht are u doing ,3.0
15822,omfg the entire background to imdbcom is a foxtel ad i thought myspace was the only stupid website to do that noooooo ,2.0
15823,designbyday i can easily drink  cupsday i sometimes light one up as i put one out  as they say   i probably average around  tho,0.0
15824,jordyhoutman ill follow your advice ,0.0
15825,do i have depression ok i dont know if this is the kind of place to ask this or not but i need answers im a male in my early  so throughout my life ive gone through several ups and downs like any normal person does but lately somethings changed sometimes when im at home or walking around town i get this odd sinking feeling it feels like everything around me just loses all of its color and becomes grey and bleak and all i can think about is just sadness then after some time passes everything is fine again this has been happening more frequently lately and i dont understand why i dont even have anything to be sad about i have a good life a beautiful girlfriend a good job and a nice house so it doesnt make sense to me that this feeling just keeps coming is this what depression feels like should i see a doctor or something i havent really told anyone else about this not even my girlfriend knows because i dont like to burden my loved ones with my problems ,3.0
15826,partys finished everyone is going home and i am off to bed  goodnight twitted world,0.0
15827,wishes that an angel descends from heaven and embrace me now  httpplurkcompvhdcn,2.0
15828,hahaha i think its funny that everyone hates me now but kelsee and britney there are the only people that get me   brennaampkotabff,2.0
15829,spokewithpics thanks for followfriday ,0.0
15830,racfm greenred ,0.0
15831,rt linaabdelkarim ana hyaateee sad story aslnnn ,2.0
15832,can depression make you emotionally numb to movies and music i watched avengers endgame no spoilers in this post and i couldnt seem to feel emotion from it i adore these movies and last year i cried during like every single scene of infinity war but for this movie which was arguably more emotional i didnt feel anythingwhich was sad because i really really hoped it would ive been feeling so emotionally numb lately my self harm and eating disorder have been out of control and i just feel detached and empty i tried listening to the same songs that would usually make me at least start feeling really depressed again but this time i just felt nothingthese films mean so much to me and i thought it could help snap me out of it but nothing happened which makes me feel even worse have i become so emotionally destroyed that i cant even enjoy one of the few passions that make me happy anymore,3.0
15833,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
15834,haleyhurricane sparks jealous ,2.0
15835,i wanna go in the yogg portals ,2.0
15836, we were winning when i went to bed  no work today catch upamp then ill do the lead when i  get home,2.0
15837,a tornado of clothes hit my room ,2.0
15838,rt icedcoffeemaker do you ever get extremely sad because you want to talk to someone but youre so boring that you dont know what to tal,1.0
15839,debhalonen i was drunk as hell they were crocodiel tears mayer hasnt got the power to make me do a real cry i can cry on demand  fuck,0.0
15840,do i lose karma points for not feeding the poor starving kitty ,2.0
15841,noaeperera goodluck chuu i know ull do well ur english is already so good ,0.0
15842,cambeerfest humptydumptys lemon amp ginger nice lemon edge but not nearly enough ginger ,0.0
15843,nxt tme itll jst b me amp me doin our own damn thang o ya hear mr slick rick   but stil ,2.0
15844,on friday night i watched  bc and it was amazing sad part was that i only started watching the middle  end i recommend it ,0.0
15845,im good i say with a smile is what i do everyday at work when my coworkers ask me how i am what i really want to say is that ive been seriously depressed for the last few weeks if not months i dont rememberi thought i was getting better ive lost over  pounds i look good i get hit on and flirted with a lot i have someone falling for me im falling for her yet i dont feel good im not happy but i should be everything in my life is going great college work my relationships but i feel so insecure about life im afraid of losing it all and just having it come crashing down on me i dont want these feelings anymore why am i experiencing these feelings so strongly its as if lifes ocean is crashing into my soul and i cant seem to escape the current im drowning but i dont want to reach out i dont want to push all of the people in my life away from me im scared of losing them of losing her and shes not even mine so ill just keep saying im good and ill smile and ill keep making them laugh making her laugh and smile and bring happiness into all of my family and friends life because they deserve itim okay with drowning in my thoughts and thinking that one day ill be happy waking up next to the love of my life but i know deep inside that ill never be good enough for anyone,3.0
15846,yepthats jack from all time low  had the best night ever last night ,0.0
15847,good evening and goodmorning everyone ,0.0
15848,streetsdiciple me too ,2.0
15849,ugh tooth ache ,2.0
15850,home alone wondering if i am hostel now ,0.0
15851,molly has just joined twitter ,0.0
15852,custommisery i think youre going to be in edinburgh alllllll week so you should just come over here and hang with us for oneeeee night ,2.0
15853,singalongsongs not yet but very soon  hang in there ,0.0
15854,hayles yer there must benot sure thocaught it off my brother but got it worse  ,2.0
15855,my battle with depression just wanted to share with all of you my battle with depression and what i do to try to get out of itwas a very happy popular good looking kid mom died when i was  or  years old step mom forced into my life arranged marriage when i was  little brother born when i was  went to highschool core friends from elementary all transferred to other highschools one was a year younger so was in elementary still had acquaintances from elementary in highschool but they were all in different programs so i had to make a completely new set of friends not a problem for me was very outgoing still did that started to glorify a thug lifestyle didnt care about school all my friends got kicked out of school in grade  and  i got transferred in grade  to alternative school made more friends again everyone transferred out i went back to regular school in grade  made more friends they transferred out again or i had an issue with one group of friends who had an issue with the other graduated highschool spent  years or so upgrading my highschool to get into uni and working did that went to university realized everything from highschool that i cared about was bull shit realized what the real world is like found a goal to chase been doing it since things that helped me get goals to chase get a solid group of friends that match your values and what you want to be datefuck girls if you can of course everyday is a  or  out of  you have to do something that will get you out of the hole on those days if you dont those  and  days will turn into  and  days as you fall further behind in life depression moments are split into micro macro and in between on a micro level in those very moments where you feel horrible different things can work sometimes youll be able to nip it in the bud right when the feeling horrible moment begins and just say fuck that and man up other times you can give yourself a day or two in bed to completely recharge on a macro level for me death is going to last forever life lasts  years so im not rushing towards it  if you are in the same situation where you were something else but your life has structurally declined keep your esteem but slowly build the foundations back under it meaning if you were the alpha dog dont give it up in your mind slowly build back up to it and be patient for now personally im glad i never took medication it made sure that my mind wasnt fucked up and imbalanced i browse this forum and i see all the people who talk about how they misplaced their meds or whatever and couldnt function its important for my situation because i legitimately had a reason to be depressed but not suffer from clinical depression so my brain is likely not chemically imbalanced and im grown up now i really think if i went on meds i wouldnt have the same mind set that i have right now you could even put me in the douchey category of those guys who are ignorant to other peoples suffering and the candace owens victors vs victim mentality difference i really think if i went on meds id never be like that id just be an absolute wreck without meds so im personally very happy i never got on them do not listen to sad music or think about sad thingsscenarioswatch sad tv shows or movies imagine things going in your favor rather than out of your favor  if you feel like youre behind in life kill two birds with one stone i have a job where i can study while i make money because its a graveyard shift many of you on this forum dont have much to miss on friday saturday nights anything that allows you to kill two bird with one stone will help you climb out of the snowball of feeling bad youre behind in life feeling drained because youre depressed falling further behind  driving at night is therapeutic if you cant get away to a mountain or whateverthats all for now good luck out there everyone,3.0
15856,ninpolite i like arbys  although they have gotten a bit chincey with their stuff lately those cheese sticks are completely disgusting,2.0
15857,please no rain today i got some things to do outside ,2.0
15858,how can two ppl split when they have  kids  poor kids,2.0
15859,a rant i guess im feeling depressed today and i have so much to do  ive been doing pretty well for the past week and ive been really proud of myself and didnt count on this today but then out of nowhere depression hit me and i spent the rest of the day lying on my bed feeling empty and demotivated its annoying because i have an essay to write for university and i know if i dont do enough work tonight i wont be able to finish it in time and will need to ask for a deadline extension last couple of months my depression has been worse due to some events in my life and as a result i keep falling behind with university and being late with my coursework and feeling so guilty about and like everyone is just thinking im lazy and making up excuses and then i start doubting myself maybe i am lazy maybe it is just an excuse and then that just gives me anxiety and then the whole thing just gets worse but thats the thing i was productive the past  days and i was doing well and then suddenly it hit me again and everything feels a strugglei wish i could take the evening off and just focus on myself do some self care and try to make myself feel better go to bed and start over tomorrow but i cant i feel so guilty over not doing work stressed about my assignment thinking maybe i am just lazy and worrying other people wont understand its not fairanyway theres no point to this i just wanted to share somewhere where people might understand and not just tell me to suck it up,3.0
15860,the soup seriously completes my life ,0.0
15861,cleaning my house i never signed up for this when i gave birth to my kids   perpetually cleaning,2.0
15862,got a tummy ache today   ate human food,2.0
15863,had my mothly shave i hate right after chin all scratchy ,2.0
15864,vickytcobra   i hope thats still there a week from now so i can see it ,0.0
15865, hey ,0.0
15866,fucking rain outside  ,2.0
15867,uhhrrm hahahahahaha ,2.0
15868, i do the belt thing and have a collection if really cool belt buckles they dont seem to help ,2.0
15869,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
15870,good night philippines bye bye ,0.0
15871,at outerlands for little wings show but missing bon fire on the beach because im opening the shop tomorrow ,2.0
15872,i wish i wasnt so thirsty ,2.0
15873,plowey watching the iowa summary saw your stop what as the issue watched pippa going  to  in under a second plenty in the wall ,2.0
15874,cinemabizarre come to south america please  you have a lot of fans in chile ,0.0
15875,staceys party was amazing i lost my voice ,2.0
15876,tomelrumi yes but if hes inside amp ak is searchtracking pk will b found amp disappear   protection important,2.0
15877,im trying im faking all i am is a lie a made up personality i need it or else i have to accept that im depressed it used to be easier i used to be able to put up a face that people liked maybe i wasnt the most popular but i did have close friends and people that i could open up to some that i could even be myself with now its hard enough to cover up what i feel and i come off as a blank slate no one hates me no one likes me i just exist ive pulled away from everyone i care about ive been hurt too many times maybe no one can hurt me if im not close to anyone i feel hollow and now im not even sure who i am anymore i want to start over i want to put effort into fighting this depression so that one day i can maybe even say im happy but that means i have to tell the truth that means i have to be honest about what i feel and accept that i need help this post might not seem like much but i hope that it is a step in the right direction im done pretending im done pulling away from people im trying to be done with depression too,3.0
15878,sokendrakouture ouch ,2.0
15879,hunger loving stress,0.0
15880,rt iyearnforsleep holy shit i updated it after literal months jfjsjdkskjdjd implied suicide character death nothing too bad but even t,2.0
15881,patricaaa haha arent patd lovely ,0.0
15882,jempotchz thanks im still nervous about the college stuffs but ill do my best to adjust aww i miss my high school life ,0.0
15883,sitting at home super bored ,2.0
15884,is exhausted and feeling so ill ,2.0
15885,missababe  you never know one day you may be lucky and go to sleep with me at the same time haha,2.0
15886,thetvaholic  i gave up on ips  season ,2.0
15887,depressed and need someone to game with my best friend committed suicide last month and i have changed since looking for someone to start a new co op game or something,3.0
15888,is going to the beach today ,0.0
15889,i told the boy i was falling for him can i go hide under a rock now ,2.0
15890,learning for school now  ,0.0
15891,listening to taylor swift wishing her concert was tomorrow ,0.0
15892,dane cook at the staples center should be epic ,0.0
15893,too paralyzed by depression to do anything even help myself so ive screwed up at work i am an assistant and do my bosss expenses theyre enormous because at any time she has to fly off to la dubai or england were based in nyc long story short the amex bill is in the thousands but all the expenses ive submitted dont match literally thousands of dollars are unaccounted for there are two reasons for this  ive missed something because i didnt go through her monthly amex statement like i should and  accumulated penalty and lates fees over the year because she refuses to pay the bill until she gets the expense payment for the company which is also my responsibility because i should be keeping track of them and i haventnow what i should be doing is going through the statements and payments now with a fine tooth comb to find whats been missed  then i need to call amex and see how much of the penalty and late fees i can get dismissed because they will do that what ive been doing is crying in the fetal position because the anxiety over it has triggered my depression proudly diagnosed in  and in and out of therapy since im the control freak son of a control freak and whenever things seem out of my control i plummet like a stone im reminded that my life is a failure ive accomplished nothing im middleaged never been married or even lived with someone have no kids heavily in debt basically live checktocheck and have no kind of job options so if i lose this job im done fori wish i still had my therapist but shes out of network and my insurance deductible for outofnetwork went from  to i literally went into work on saturday and got all the files and statements needed to go to work on it ive got them covered with a blanket because the very sight of them makes my stomach drop and my hands shake theyve been sitting untouched for  hours  i know what i need to do ive prepared for it but i can not move only curl up into a ball and cry,3.0
15894,lindseymshaw we will be united soon shindsssayy i promise  but until then will you please start using twitter just a teeeny bit more,0.0
15895,i got stung by a bee today on my ankle tried to do manly quotim really not bothered either way about bee stingsquot jog back to the house ,0.0
15896,i no i no bt i had only been a gamer for like  years when i made that attempt  lol yea i luvd  to an extent yellowshirts,2.0
15897,had my twitter account suspended  i think for reporting on the worm and linking to a story about it w url  excuse me for sharing ,2.0
15898,is back at work  httpplurkcompxkvty,2.0
15899,puma is still missing ,2.0
15900,after a  headache im alive again  yayyy,0.0
15901,my head hurts ,2.0
15902,lbcreations give me someplease  ,0.0
15903,off to east coast for an entire afternoon of work  hope i can squeeze in  miles in the evening,2.0
15904, hours later than holiday park ,0.0
15905, you can stream in live online  httpbitlygtgkl,0.0
15906,rowenamace are you eating out  just posted some great restaurant deals incl free meals  httpisgdqsvg,0.0
15907,oh man i left my book at the shop  i guess i dont get to read quotthree to get deadlyquot by janet evanovich tonight sigh,2.0
15908,thank you to the folks who sent us stickers we love them  check out this extreme motherload we got send from  httptrimofoh ,0.0
15909,todays todos try finish guitarhero world tour with the guitar on expert or play some residentevil  and eat a lot of sambos ,0.0
15910,im extremely lucky to have a friend like this im extremely lucky to have a friend who actually listens to me and tells me what she really thinks and shows that she wants me to be happy shes been through some of the struggles i have and she treats me like shed treat herself even when she sees my scars all she has to do to make things get better is to tell me that things will get better shes saved me from killing myself and she took no credit for it and the way she treats me is really what helps me carry on i still feel the effects of this soul crushing reality but it would hurt a lot more if i didnt have a great friend to get me through it ,3.0
15911,is it too late to call shortstackkk ,2.0
15912,rt jensdowns i was sad when i heard about prof mayosi but now i am heartbroken shattered to think how he must have felt all the respec,1.0
15913,is enjoying a most excellent coffee in tuesday morning traffic ,0.0
15914,funny as long as you conentrate on the topleftcorner   ,0.0
15915,do you like to plan your whole life as a way to try and cope with the real unproductive days i do this a lot i might seem productive at first but it is not whenever im having a real crappy day like today i like to replan my life entirely i take notes of everything id like to do and learn in the future and i plan my steps in order to achieve this new goal i just came up with it has once been sewing drawing video editing writing sometimes i go as far as planning a weekly or daily schedule for myself with these goals or hobbies in mindit is purely procrastination from actual important tasks unfortunately and i can never gather enough motivation to follow through with my plans ive lost a lot of the joy i had for life in general so planning is fun,3.0
15916,marshrchris glad you liked it   its easy to get addicted to  especially since its not meant to be a high drama show just entertai ,0.0
15917,hello twitting world  we are off to best buddies bbq  but untill then jay z is on spotify ,0.0
15918,lalocamario awwwwwh   i wish i could give you a jump,2.0
15919,returned to vancouver today amp discovered i won  in last nights lottery not the  million i was hoping for ,2.0
15920,going for a run then going to buy every kind of allergy medicine there is ,2.0
15921,lydiasui you still going to wimbledon on saturday and im soooo gutted rafas not there ,2.0
15922,got my new ram today from dell installed no boot  called tech support we reinstalled the ram it boots  i suspect dell jedi tricks,2.0
15923,arrr need to organise this great yarmouth battle of the bandsstill kinda scared about phoning the geezer ,2.0
15924,struggling like many of you i am struggling with depression i have been taking wellburtrin and lamictal for the last year then all of this covid happened i lost my job of  years and my insurance so i started tapering myself off today my fiance was laid off we have  kids this is making things so rough depression is making me miserable i feel bad that everyone has to deal with me is there any natural ways to help,3.0
15925,rt makada first lady melania trump slams kathy griffin it is simply wrong and makes you wonder about the mental health of t ,1.0
15926, youre welcome  and no idea how to fix it sorry ,0.0
15927,mikescantlebury no always been nuala  oh the shame  that i am so easily forgotten ,2.0
15928,grandmas going to the hospital ,2.0
15929,damn jury duty  up bright and early,2.0
15930,rt jinuwued someone asked me today why you sad and i blatantly replied with i dont know nan molla namjoons impact,2.0
15931,working on this thesis wow my life is exciting  ,2.0
15932, gnite bff lol  thanks for ur help ,0.0
15933,i dont know what to do im feeling so low ive never been like this before but i cant get out of feeling like this i know i should want to go on fir friends and family but the one person who truely made me happy i wronged and they have now left me i built my life around them how do i stop thinking of ending it,3.0
15934,lost weekend    makes my dayyy,2.0
15935,all i know is that i think way too much way too fast and have crippling anxiety and am not successful by any concrete measure,1.0
15936,on myspace uploading pics to the thousands i have already ,0.0
15937,helensfizzbombs thanks for retweet ,0.0
15938,annabey thanks so much for the follow friday recommendation ,0.0
15939,squilg   just a bit more and youll be free hang in there,2.0
15940,mercuralis ah you too i always think im going to do so much when hubby is gone and then i am all down and do nothing ,2.0
15941,is going to hit the beach with jamie  cyur twitterers  love all xoxoxo,0.0
15942,ugh i am up but do not want to be beautiful morning horrible day ,2.0
15943,nattymsmith it was my brother actually haha what did you buy her ,0.0
15944,theskyiscrape what a set so far that weve seen though jersey girl nice i have feeling im going to get a standard set in memphis ,2.0
15945,arriving home from work at  only to wake up again at  to head straight back in to work  ,2.0
15946,hello wisdom tooth on the upper left corner pls stop pushing flights back home arent cheap ,2.0
15947,didiers return a big boost for us at chelsea ahead of the uefa cleague hope the champ plays scores and wins it  fingers crossed ,0.0
15948,just got back from the baseball fields after waiting for  mins we found out that devins practice was cxld ,2.0
15949,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
15950,dancin in the moonlight  ,0.0
15951,is sat in it tryin to figure out wtf to do on this lol  x,0.0
15952,sodid a good exercise now school work ,2.0
15953,charliii yes hi i loveeeeeee you we should catch up like real soon ,0.0
15954,urge to self harm ive got horrible urges to self harm something i havent done in over a year i just feel so worthless and so overwhelmed i want it so badly nobody cares about me none of my friends even want to know who i am or how i feel about anything im not allowed to express anything im only allowed to be funny im not allowed to be a human being im a fucking clown they get mad or they just dont care when i do anything otherwise im a joke,3.0
15955,ynachan in our place you dont have huge events as these once i tried to get by as l from death note no one recognized me ,2.0
15956,stanluca said i am not allowed to tweet to much ,2.0
15957, hey  i know you  ,0.0
15958,a girl i felt very deeply about offered me everything i ever wantedthan ghosted me seriously you bitch that shit hurt and your chief complaint was about how someone you cared about just as deeply did it to you you fucking hypocritefelt good to say to someone i dont complain in real life i live in the blue collar tough man world but i feel like a bitch so i just keep it insidethanks for listening,3.0
15959,how long does high functioning depression stay i am currently in a state of high functioning depression not letting myself feel my emotions keeping myself busy telling myself i am fine my therapist has called me highly depressed and also told me to face my emotions and face my break up too i dont have the will to do because atleast i  am functioning well now i  wasnt even able to function properly for last  yearsfinally being able to do stuff is really refreshing i dont want to go back to that placeis it possible for me to stay on high function for  years i keep all my thoughts away with music whenever i am alone,3.0
15960,breeezzie thats ass  if you want to talk about it you can text me,2.0
15961,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
15962,mcflyharry usawantsmcfly usawantsmcfly usawantsmcfly usawantsmcfly usawantsmcfly usawantsmcfly and sorry about your phone ,2.0
15963,i hate going to bed anxious because i know im gonna sleep terribly but the anxiety doesnt just stop because i wan ,2.0
15964,hmv is kinda starting to piss me off when are they gunna call and tell me they have the damn freakin cd jeez ,2.0
15965,runnrgrl was on the wrong side of the rock for that  and in the mostly woods no deer this morning either  thats usually my quotmomentquot,2.0
15966,eiiblipfm rules  i love it xd,0.0
15967,roymayor haha i rather do mines now so i can sleep in ,0.0
15968,leilani if u want him off the bottle ya gotta let him cry  no fun my son cried  but it will only take a couple of sleepless nights,2.0
15969,i feel ugly today ,2.0
15970,honestly its sad to say but i wont be surprised if he kills him self one of these days hes been in so many inte ,2.0
15971,man versus wild with will ferrell  and my gay bio study guide  in buena park ca,0.0
15972,great night at the tennis club after the commute busy day today at the mag lots of spreadsheeting way past bedtime tho  rise  ,2.0
15973,man i need a camera bad ,2.0
15974,im sorry cant sleep i spend so much time observing everything i take it in and spit it out in an endless quest to be liked i refrain from anything of myself out of fear of being separated i just want to be liked but the place inside me which desires this is never satisfied one could easily say its cause you need to like yourself and i dont know if thats true i also dont know if its false i do know that everyday im comparing myself with the people in my world friends strangers i know im always judging myself poorly i point out all that i lack i dwell on how to get the approval i crave but even if i were to get the approval i would be right back where i started when it stopped i dont play games i dont compete i know i am extraordinarily competitive and i know im a loser i dont win things so i dont play if i sense someone is applying more to something than there is i shut it down but it looks like this whole life ive been playing a game with myself and its a game i cant win maybe its time i get real about some thingsi dont think im a nice person i think i act nice i think i know how to be nice but i know its not my natural state im not a nice person i choose to act a way because it benefits me in my quest to not be alone i think i hide it well because growing up my sister never hid her feelings and she had a lot of negative drive towards mei am driven by fear of being alone its why i cant sleep at night its why ive never been able to sleep at night since i was a kid it didnt help to be the kid in school who nobody wanted to be friends with the sheer hours i spent walking back and forth against a wall throwing a ball against a wall or just hanging out in the lunchroom for recess perhaps if i hadnt been a heavy kid i mightve had a chanceim not a happy person its just who i am im not active or social cause its physically draining for me and dealing with my weight is something which never ends ever it is exhausting how much mental energy it takes constant vigilance in the impression you make how others think and feel about you how you think and feel about you how much more difficult everything is how many dreams you watch always slipping through your hands years and years of watching yourself be held back until you no longer believe its worth trying anymore anyways why am i writing any of this i dont at all think anybody can fix this but i know i need it fixed and after so much time trying to figure it out myself i can honestly say i havent got a clue what im doing i live for others so i can ignore my own stuff cause i dont know how to deal with my own stuff i know im not happy i know i dont have anything that makes me happy i know i dont feel seen or understood and i know that i dont reveal anything about myself to anyone because i dont think anyone cares and i dont believe anyone cares and i have no evidence that anybody really cares i know that growing up without anyone caring for me has stunted my ability to care for others too and i know im just damn tired of everything i know i should invest in my own well being but im not worth it money needs to go to pulling my family out of poverty i want to quit this horrible endless game i force myself to play how do i quit this awful game,3.0
15975,hooray love it when dinner over dishwasher loaded and time to lounge on sofa for an hour  have been too busy to tweet this week ,2.0
15976,natemhanson happy birthday ,0.0
15977,i keep getting bummed out over a dead friends memory my best friend issac and i would have this joke where we would pretend to be each other at restraunts where we would order weird combos of food in eachothers name we would do this pretty often so it became just an inside joke issac sadly passed away after getting hit by a drunk driver while walking home days after his formal funeral i went to kfc while traveling back to college and when the cashier asked for my name i said issac without even thinking while they were preparing my food i started to think real deeply about how much i missed him he and i grew up on a neighborhood where it was only us as children so naturally we grew to be great friends we had our rough patches but we still stayed good friends but as much as it bums me out i do relish our time spent together  i guess old habits die rough ,3.0
15978,frack retweeted a retweet and i got retweeted further that makes a lot of wasted chars  ,0.0
15979,drsaith no more white rokits ,2.0
15980,owning a gun does not offer protection gun access higher among youth with violent mental health history ,1.0
15981, no omfggggggg thankyou jessieee l i knew i could count on  you to keep me updated ,0.0
15982,evitalocci i cant hear turn right cuz when i hear this song i cry a lot its horrible ,2.0
15983,itsdayana just go to sleep ,0.0
15984,working in optical for  weeks ,2.0
15985,had an amazing day bitch fest with alison angels and demons remember the titans good stuff ,0.0
15986,beach weekend cut short elise with a  fever got it from sick kids at bible camp this past week on the way home ,2.0
15987,good morning ,0.0
15988, what out from under your feet lol ,0.0
15989,so we are out of the city playoffs but more upset about why things happened the way they did but there is always next year ,2.0
15990, sangurtune savwafare cnnbrk ive been to europe its so gorgeous  but feel unsafe abroad for ,1.0
15991,awh leah i think or alexis from jon n kate from  quotdaddy i dnt want u to leave anymorequot awh ,2.0
15992,why does it gata be so cold ,2.0
15993, are you sick  sorry babybear,2.0
15994,im such a burden on the people around me i cant handle when things get difficult for me the pandemic is literally changing everyones lives and it has made my depression way worse than when i had my job that i could distract myself with now im stuck all alone with my thoughts and feelings in my room i just want to fade away so bad i dont have anyone at this point im ready to give up i cant afford a therapist and i cant afford medication life is so meaningless,3.0
15995,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
15996,itunes australia keeps timing out when trying to update to os  ,2.0
15997,fadedmoon still  havent finished it yet ,0.0
15998,im back online i still dont get this twitter stuff much  aww well,0.0
15999,im feeling lonely any tips im feeling lonely since the last  years i have a bunch of good and close friends i enjoy life but when im alone i just feel so sad and dont want to talk to anyone i have no family problems neither do i get bullied i just feel empty does anyone have any tips or suggestions how i can avoid that empty feeling,3.0
16000,seachelles thats why we live in florida ,0.0
16001,oktak aww i always feel terrible when kids are sick  hope it passes quick,2.0
16002,nothing like homemade paranthas for breakfast ,0.0
16003,hey yal i need your help go here   and let me know what you think peace n luv  sym,0.0
16004,ahh that was a nice sandwich ,0.0
16005,rt deanandhlssam jfc with this whole i am his biological father thingit wasnt funny the first time mishas thirst is getting as alw,1.0
16006,i would like to see ed now please ,0.0
16007,text me or call ,0.0
16008, left my ipod home   i have to be subjected to loud mouth people today,2.0
16009,discantus are you gonna be okay ,2.0
16010,isp playing up again ,2.0
16011,how do you pull out out of a spiral of depression i feel like such shit self depreciating and negative thought have me spiralling and out of control how do i pull out of this i know how to handle anger but i cant handle sadness and depression please help with any advice possible,3.0
16012, awww good luck i miss my soccer day s ,2.0
16013,grggmlss ive sent most of my stuff home nowstill got walls full of pictures though ,2.0
16014,cacharbe understood it as support ,0.0
16015,shiruba erlinho im much more concerned about the right ui  spending waaaay to much time on a good look ,0.0
16016,my life is going downhill well what happen was i got expelled from my middle schoolive never got in trouble before it was my first timei got expelled for writing things and drawing pictures of people wanting to kill themselves and people killing peoplei thought by doing that i will find that special someone to help mebut instead i got expelled and school actually made me happy because my friends were therei had been feeling depressedi havent been to school in a monthim now going to attend a school that deals with expelled thingyi take honor classes but i heard i have to take regular classes which made me upsetmy mom isnt supportive all she does is get mad and complains all the timei did the things i did because it was a cry for help but i guess crying for help just gets you in deep troublepeople in my school always knew i was a good kidit made me also want to commit suicide i just felt like i couldnt handle it anymoremy school said i was a high threatim just gonna put my life on the internet sense nobody knows who i amany advice it all started when i was in third periodthe security came and called for me and i already knew why i got in troublei went to room  and the blond ladyim not gonna say peoples nametold me that someone reported me for wanting to kill peoplei was like well yeah i said that you wanna see my drawings😏jk about that emojiso i gave them to her and she was looking at them and i was like theres a backthe principal sal them and i was like 😬 ohthen i asked to use the bathroom then i went the blonde lady had to come with mei dont know why i couldnt go by myself🙄jk i know why i just wanna act like that 😂 after all this happened i was thinking of an escape plan for funsense she used it at the same time i was thinking i could of ran out towards that bridge near new river middlebut im too lazy for that i would of walked back to new riverwhen i came back my book bag was gone and inside another office and they were searching through iti asked why they have my book bag the lady replied with their trying to find things you can hurt self withi drew pictures of people committing suicide and a person shooting someone i drew does because it something that happens in our society and someone i knew wanted to commit suicidebrah i was thinking about that meme when they were like oh wow oh wow because they were digging stuff up my book bag also i havent seen the things they sal in  months i thought i loss those thingsi forgot to add when the principal sal it she said something like you can be an artist and something like getting paid for those drawingsnext i want to another room and sat downthe detectives came in and questioned me about the stuff is wrote and drew the blonde lady was also in the roomi drew someone masturbating and i was like😂😐when they started do question me about thatthey also showed me a drawing of someone getting stabbedi be drawing random stuff when i get bored the masturbating one was for fun some people sal that i was glad they didnt see my remix of all star it was  about porn and shit for fun some people sal that too for funafter the questioning i had a paper clip in my jacket pocket and i was thinking what will happen if i plug it in a outlet i wasnt gonna do it but i was just thinkingthen they got someone  who later decided to backer act me😤after that i went to the blonde lady office and i was playing around with the paper clip in my pocket and she asked whats that you have in your pocket and i said a paper clip and she took it away for meshe also said something about anxious and i might hurt myself from it and proceeded to ask if i had anything else in my pocketwelp to be honest room  comes with a bad feeling when people are called there people say what you got got in trouble for or good luckits like you only get called when you do something badman i really liked the class band its just the musicit would of been my first year going to the mpa but i got expelledi thought i could go back to new river middle but they considered me a high threatall i was doing was a cry for help but that cry lead me into big troubleive never got into trouble via detentionreferral or suspendedi really enjoyed go into new river it was fun but that got cut shortthe writing i wrote were my cry for helpever sense that happening i just dont want to live anymorei didnt ask for help because i was to afraid of what might happeni wished i would of talk to someone so i didnt had to get on this much problemsi also hate leaving the house i rather stay in my room all day long in the dark i dont know why but being the dark makes me feel more comfortable,3.0
16017,ihany gratz now that is impressive ,0.0
16018,from selfimprovement to the lowest ive ever felt in my life for some background im  and studying in university currently for my entire life ive had severe social anxiety and depression brought about from being bullied pretty much my entire childhood in elementary and middle school once i got to highschool i was so paranoid and awkward around everyone that it made making friends and finding a group to hang with extremely hard i pretty much just spent the whole  years with my single best friend and a few other weird kids that didnt really hang out with anyone else eitheranyway i spent a few years afterwards taking gen ed classes at community college really trying to work on myself and gain some confidence i started going to the gym found a decent job worked on my appearance etc then last year i got accepted into a fairly prestigious arts program with a small number of people and decided that this was where id step out of my shell and start living life the way i wanted tofor the first few months i did just that i became extremely close with everyone got invited to parties hung out all the time the whole package it was like i was living a dream on cloud  everything i had wanted i finally hadof course because im such a socially inept fucking retard it didnt last at all while massively drunk i ended up hooking up with my closest friend in the program and it went really really bad i had never done anything like that before and was insanely panicked and scared about it so i confided in a few other people in the program about it because since im toxic as fuck i feel the need to tell everyone i can about my problems as a way to cope everything was cool for a while afterwards me and my friend had made up and everything went back to normalflash forward to a few months ago and it all went to shit the people in the program i confided in told my friend that i had told them everything that happened and now she along with everyone else agrees that im an untrustworthy asshole who just wanted to brag about what happened and that i dont care about any of them im basically shunned from the group now and the person who was one of my closest friends has cut me out of their life completelyfor the past few months since this happened ive had a hard time getting out of bed going outside and just doing basic tasks i still see these people in class but it feels like im just a ghost now just the kid nobody fucks with that comes into class and leaves it almost doesnt even feel real anymore that i was actually once friends with all of them and im back to the reality of being a depressed loser that i always was just going on instagram or snapchat and seeing my closest friends going out and having fun adventures without me just makes me question why im even alive anymore i had one chance to actually change and i completely fucked it up like an idiot i just hate myself so much and cant find any joy or purposein living right now i know i should probably just ignore how people perceive me and just try to be nice and love myself but it just feels impossible when im such a pariah,3.0
16019,lacson says that the attack in basilan this morning is the first case of suicide bombing by islamic religious extre ,2.0
16020,lost and hurt  i feel really lost with no true direction in life i have no career or goal set up to strive for  nothing appeals to me anymore ive lost interest in everythingim in a ldr with a great guy and i recently told him that ive been feeling depressed again that i was scared that it was taking over me again     i see so many stories of people and their sos supporting them and helping them  yet i dont think he even remembers that i struggle with this   i dont want to nag or point it out or make it look like im attention seeking  but in a way it hurts that i dont feel his support or acknowledgement i dont think i rely on it  but i sure as hell would love and appreciate iti just dont know what to do with myself or with him  i just dont know,3.0
16021,i be so sad ☹️☹️,2.0
16022,why does doing laundry feel like climbing everest taking a shower feels like a marathoncooking anything feels the same even without thinking about cleaning up afterwardshow am i supposed to move my life forward when i dont have the energy to take care of myselfi keep hoping i choke and die while binge eating whatever is left of my emotions ¯ツ¯whatever i dont know hope you all are okay ,3.0
16023,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
16024,is playing with mireichan  aduh shes so cuteeee ,0.0
16025,no astros game tonight  and no college class tomorrow as it is canceled just only gym and maybe seeing taking of pelham    o,2.0
16026,willgoodwin i got really sick thursday night like hospital sick and wont be there this weekend ,2.0
16027,artadmirer thank you for the follow ,0.0
16028, its  ,0.0
16029,why do we have to work when its so sunny ,2.0
16030,i wanna make you smile whenever youre sadcarry you around when your arthritis is badall i wanna do is grow old w ,1.0
16031,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
16032,being ordered to stop driving can double the risk of depression for older adults  httpstcocnmwevyhkr ,2.0
16033,can someone give me a little push ive come to realize that i need to actually see a medical professional but ive never had to schedule something like this on my own before i scoured everywhere on my insurers well my mothers insurer that im still under but im still so confused on whats what and they say you have to call before making any kind of appointments anyways it might seem silly but ive been sitting here for  minutes with their number dialed so i can ask about psychiatrists in the area that they cover but im just so anxious can anyone nudge me to push the call button,3.0
16034,rt girlposts stressing over problems that dont exist why i hate u anxiety,2.0
16035,my mom leaves today ,2.0
16036,what jobs do you do i am so tired that every job requires happy people who are not afraid to talk to customers bla bla bla i literally dont fit in any place when it comes to work and earning money what do i do,3.0
16037,  a lifestyle and environment i am working hard to  day live ,0.0
16038,tylerstarstrukk i wish you was too i miss you boo ,2.0
16039,akula i hear that the internet is becoming quite popular today with its facetubes and spacebooks ,0.0
16040,im so sad to hear this all my  condolences to him and his family  stay strong tae,1.0
16041,just got home from work via the pub missed the last bus home so had to walk for an hour its too hot ,2.0
16042,i dont care yes my username is true i couldnt care less about anything ive never cared about anything every day is a runouttheclock situation because the only thing i want to do is go home lay in bed and turn on my music i hate going to sleep because i dont want to wake up the next day but every morning is greeted with a fuck because i woke up again absolute bullshit to be honest i get good grades and am successful at school i recently interviewed and was offered jobs for two accounting positions at a renowned bank and healthcare company but those are just paychecks to me ill definitely be taking one of them but seriously fuck those jobsive never had friends because i guess im just insufferable to be around whatever it is people just straight up ignore me am i actually real though no one throughout schooling or otherwise has just came up and tried to have a conversation or give a simple compliment every time i try to talk to people its over in two minutes if that because they show every indication theyre not interested in my presence now every time i think about talking to someone or think someone might be interested i just laugh because why would that be the case lmao its never been the fucking case ill kill myself eventually not yet but thats how this fun ride will end so yeah my whole worldview is just apathetic i dont give a shit and honestly dont know what it would feel like to look forward to something even when i go to a concert the only thing ill go out and do because fuck everything else the moment i step back inside my house the moment is over and anything resembling happiness is gone i cant help but internally giggle when people talk about how happy they are fuck life,3.0
16043,rt rgay not being able to eat my feelings makes me so sad every single day,1.0
16044,please try the dm now  margeinovera,0.0
16045,biofreeze is one of the most addictive habits ever too bad its so expensive ,2.0
16046,dae feel that suicide is not an option because you are too logical like i can always rationalize why its a bad decision it just leaves me in a exhausting cycling of wanting something i can never have is it just me anyone else feel this way,3.0
16047,rt whattheffacts singing when tensed helps you avoid anxiety and depression,2.0
16048,simoncoweli lol you are not the real simon cowell i feel sure he is not that big headed ,0.0
16049,on the way home tired i dont wanna babysit ,2.0
16050,hi     spa time ruined my entire weekend,2.0
16051,why do i always find myself listening to the saddest songs ,2.0
16052,i feel like im slipping back into depression again im currently in  grade and my depression started at the beginning of  i had just moved and lost all of my friends i felt just terribly sad at first and it slowly got worse from there eventually when i got into school there i wouldnt talk to anyone and i made just about no friends which set my up for my  grade year to be a living hell i made it through  fine but it was obvious depression was affecting my grades and academics and i did just about nothing for the whole summer now onto  grade i was starting to feel better after a long summers break making some new friends but after a while depression set back in even more than last year i thought of suicide almost daily and the only thing really saving me was the thought of my family after i was gone and video games but i made it through and had a great summer got a new pc got a very cute bird  and was able to go to a new school which works a lot better for me i met new friends online and was able to have a mostly depression free summer now that im back at school things have been mostly fine im turning in homework im able to get good grades but ive started to feel like my mother doesnt like me she constantly makes jokes to her friends about how lonely i am and how i just sit in my room all day i live in an elderly neighborhood with no kids for a couple miles and i have friends i actually like online and so im now starting to feel the pressure of depression deep in my throat and my stomach and i really really dont want to fall back into this giant pit of pity and guilt i dont want to talk to anyone i know because i think it will change how people view me and i just dont know what to do,3.0
16053,ready for date  tonight    can play that game wait ampamp see its not on ur time its on mine i run this  ready to play some golf,0.0
16054,working on a sunday   this is just wrong  got tons to do before tomorrow though  ,2.0
16055,vivelalyssa thats exciting  congrats on the  amp  mins of cardio ,0.0
16056,sonsontwit ��や通説����������ょ��ｗ �������梅田��ん個人���見���� ,0.0
16057,zoloft just got prescribed zoloft and im also  weeks pregnant so many things ive read and real people have told me that they were worse off with it id rather just deal with depression anxiety than have to deal with it being worse to test it out oh yeah ive also read that it helps more with anxiety and not really with depression fuck my life,3.0
16058,katiemosttimes grats on the graduation and everything ,0.0
16059,rt mstiefvater things you can learn from the raven cycle• fundamental occult practices• poor driving habits• shitty latin• lite welsh,2.0
16060,laurendzielski haha i will wait forever  but as for now showerness,0.0
16061,dorathevandoorn hello there i notice your tweet im from doboj  do you like our small town,0.0
16062,microdosing i want to try microdosing with shroomslsd but i have absolutely no idea where or how to access it and it freakin sucks i have absolutely no solutions anymore and its frustrating,3.0
16063,time to go to sleep zzz school tomorrow it will be a good day   goodnight,0.0
16064,kimcfly id have thought so yea why whats the picture and danggg ill have another look for the imp but i dont think its here ,2.0
16065,megannx and yes that word ,2.0
16066,im sorry but i never get sick of jill scotts a long walk   i threw out a lyric yesterday and non of you guys caught it ,2.0
16067,life for me  i dont know where to start but my life has been really happy so far i got a new girl that loves me for me and i got a job that pay the bills and i am going to school again to try to better my life but i have been in a dark place lately and have been self harming and just get really down in life and hate it for no reason i feel so useless and not worth anything and i just want to end it but dont because of my friends family and my girl but i keep living with this random depression over my head and it just keeps eating at me i just dont know what to do sometimes,3.0
16068,hittin the sheets a lil early hopefully a good day tomorrow goodlookin out jenn ,0.0
16069,rt wef how stressful is your city learn more about managing stress  ,2.0
16070,alyankovic re wreckgar  you have no idea how happy you made this fanboy when that episode aired ,0.0
16071,happy mothers day to all you mums out there ,0.0
16072,depression booze  so i have only had  days this year so far where i havent drank any alcohol its been way worse than previous years i now feel like its become a ritualat first i just wanted to release stress on every other weekend then i arranged something every weekend then i arranged something friday and saturday later sunday was added i got a free day on wednesday so tuesday got added then i found out how easy it was to just drink on nights before work without people noticingi just drag myself out of bed and shower brush my teeth extremely well and eat something very solid and smelly for breakfast like peanutbutter sandwich so people wont smell the alcohol smell on menobody has asked about it people just like that im more outgoing on the weekend its so normal to drink in my culture that people dont really notice ive been doing worse and worse and worse and ive been hiding it its been almost two years of constantly going downhill,3.0
16073,have i mentioned the weather sucks here rainsunrainsunrainsun get the picture unreal cant do anything today ,2.0
16074,i think hes going to lose the bet ,2.0
16075,advice on dealing with guilt in the past couple of years a lot of my flaws have been brought to my attention and ive basically realised i have a lot of toxic and hurtful behaviour in me due to my mental illness that hurts people when it comes out it affected my ex boyfriend my ex  best friend even though she did some not very nice things to me and now its affecting my current boyfriend im working really hard on being a better partner and my current boyfriend has forgiven me for a lot but when he needs to talk through the ways my previous behaviour still affects him he struggles with depression and ptsd from something that happened to him in his late adolescence i feel absolutely crushed by the guilt and shame of how i used to treat him i want him to feel listened to and heard and its so hard to push past the wall of crippling guilt and self loathing i feel when he brings things up my therapist has worked out i carry a lot of toxic guilt from the defective schema i developed as a child and has now caused a lot of problems for me as an adult i guess i just want to know how i can take responsibility and accountability for the hurt ive caused without absolutely spiralling i want to be better and i want to admit to my fuckups but im sometimes brought to panic when confronted with them anyone relate,3.0
16076,mafiafamily good night guys hugs ,0.0
16077,😅 you aint the only one ,2.0
16078,wants some popcorn  ,0.0
16079,says alright alright im going already sheesh well better be off early than late  ,0.0
16080,zach is awesome sitting in bed reading eclipse ,0.0
16081,jackpalahniuk i would say yay for we have another thing in common but its a bad thing so no yay  ,2.0
16082,greenstatw im tryna see if josh computer can ustream wen he gets bak bcuz wen i record i cant use that computer ,2.0
16083,finally headed to bed after a long day of remodeling and packing kids for camp theyll be gone for  days then fri is kylees surgery ,2.0
16084,hates being broke with a passion ,2.0
16085,foxyhotsawce   man i love this place faith  x x x,0.0
16086,is there a way to forecast a depressive episode and what can you do for me at least i dont have chronic depression but there have been periods of couple months where i feel very depressed and it distorts my view of the world and i become very negative even though i am generally a somewhat optimistic person so are there telltale signs that one may be entering a downward spiral and are there ways to lessen the episode and not dig a deeper hole thank you,3.0
16087,tired ass fuhhh looking for a job is really hard work  applying online at this very second,2.0
16088,skipped csi rewind because of socio ,2.0
16089,cant wait for his ftth nbn connection  when all he can get upstream to  s is  kbps  ,2.0
16090,rt  the college you attend shouldnt define who you are just because you go to a community college you are no less of a per,2.0
16091,alone in a big city it just gets worse and worse ive never thought so hard about killing myself it would be so peaceful i bet id escape all these thoughts acting like pinpricks on my brain and that make it impossible to think of anything else i dont know that it will ever get better the headache just gets worse and worse with every hour day week month that passes there are ever more bad decision more regrets i was given everything and ive made nothing of it i feel invisible in a big city and theres no one i can talk to about it i told my parents i was unhappy and alone here they said i was making my problems an obsession and it was because i was in a long distance relationship and that moving in with her — the one thing in the world i actually look forward to — was a mistake when i tried explaining that i was that i was in a better position to know  and to please trust my judgement they said i was being accusatory inelegant and unfair and ignored the email in which i said i was sorry if they were offended but sometimes its true they can be quite hurtful without meaning to that they would make me even more unhappy and get angry with me instead of helping me makes me feel even more alone i feel so trapped in my dependence on them i want to throw it all away and show them what their actions have caused im just so tired i want it to end i cant think of anything or do anything but torture myself with these thoughts i dont know that it will get better  i dont know if any of you have been through this when those you love and depend on are the ones hurting you the most when you feel trapped and cant escape when you dont even have the comfort of hate because those hurting you think theyre doing the right thing but wont listen to you when you tell them otherwise at what point do you just turn your back to the audience and bow out to the stage ,3.0
16092,lol those moments when u forget ur phone is in ur back pocket and it almost falls in the toiletpure anxiety 😳,1.0
16093,boys literally drink one cup of water a year stress girls out eat junk food and will have the best skin ever,1.0
16094,calling and writing my reps every day absorbing the news passing it on trying to do tiny things to keep from sinking into depression,2.0
16095,music for depression what music do you listen to when you need a good cry just so i can make a playlist any genre ,3.0
16096, not here it aint  ive got an epic poddy walk planned for tomorrow tooxxx,2.0
16097,jerico secret haha hmm wheres fluffy wasnt the most impt thing for them anymore bcause they already have each other so they bailed ,0.0
16098,just got home from a kickass workoutfeelin good ,0.0
16099,ryanseacrest def sweet ,0.0
16100,i feel sick  too much icecream,2.0
16101,guess where we were  go on i bet you cant guess l ,0.0
16102,ashemischief ah ha you are probably right  i am sure that i have oh how i miss your drunken nola pics ive always missed it,0.0
16103,victorgo i am ,0.0
16104,studying  cleaning and laundry  hangouts later hopefully   ,0.0
16105,depakotedivaproexwhat should i expect not sure if talking about meds is allowed please let me know if not i have been pretty severely depressed for the last  years but have only actively been trying to get betteradmitting i have a problem for the last  months i havent really been diagnosed with a specific disorder besides just being told by my dr and therapists that im super depressedthis also has developed a major sleep issue where i dont sleep i have tried cymbalta celexa and trazadone all having no effect besides causing problems in the bedroom male  but i was told to try depakote which is for bipolar and seizures since the more main stream meds didnt help has anyone taken this medication before if so what effect did it have on you and youre depression i know everyone is different but im just so tired of trying meds after meds and just want some input thank you,3.0
16106,im off to denver for a couple days y u gna miss me khrisg i lost my jai hobabymama ring at edes ,2.0
16107,am i starting to get depressed i dont want to talk to anybody i dont want to face anyone id rather be alone i dont look at somebodys eyes or even dont look at them when i have to talk to them i cant smile i want to cry everytime this all started when my cystic acne became worse again had it worst when i was  its hormonal and ive been battling it ever since im on medication right now but i dont see any progress im starting to feel im not significant or if im gone it doesnt even matter to everyone around me im not suicidal but i dont see the point anymore if im going to feel this way all my life i cant look past my skin condition people always notice it ive always been anxious insecure and hopeless when will this enddddddd,3.0
16108, year after being diagnosed ive been diagnosed with clinical depression sometime last year after a year my psychiatrist asked me what changed to tell the truth i dont feel its ok no rainbow ahead i can say but i did tell her it was ok no more crying out of the blue it was ok no more hating myself without provokation its ok im no longer angry cause everything was okay i guess my point is yes consulting a professional wont make you happy but at least it makes you okayand that is better than being so damn miserable all of the time,3.0
16109,has bad hayfever  ,2.0
16110,radicalxstitch lol r u volunteering to do my crappy uni assignmenti need food to help my brain function ,0.0
16111,bigbinks youll excuse the pun  vice a versa  you would have loved that place they got everything from rough trade cops to rabbiis,0.0
16112,i just updated my weebly website check it out httpplusmorefashionweeblycom  please tell me ideas to improve it ,0.0
16113,sofiesunshine remember your mission quothey danny my friend katie loves youquot  haha,0.0
16114,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
16115,hope everyone is doing great today its monday so duty calls have an awesome day amp share a smile with everyone u meet ,0.0
16116, what was i thinking i may try it again though enough room for improvement ,0.0
16117,my toes are cold ,2.0
16118,fakeplasticange thanks  my  proper exam for almost  years amp i can never remember being this nervous is it too early for vodka xx,0.0
16119,yeay im able to play falling in love by mcfly thanks to myra and sash ,0.0
16120,i hate being sick i so didnt want to miss work today  ,2.0
16121, im not doctor but she definitely has something going on im betting more than one thing and one ,0.0
16122,  at the gym  hope thats not all spent in the sauna ,0.0
16123,rt kaelynngail ur wcw binge watches criminal minds but then cant go to the store alone without having an anxiety attack its me im ur,2.0
16124,is on her way to the lock in ,0.0
16125,dahitwrytergirl well im just not feeling it i agree she has an amazing voice but i didnt feel any chills or anything at all ,2.0
16126,kingkan u and product didnt come to my party ,2.0
16127,ps they are some happy poems to ,0.0
16128,swaffette coooool have a great opening hon  youre gonna be speaking with a french accent for a week again,0.0
16129,wendilynnmakeup lol at that waffle pic  the corn flakes were amusing too  still awake and i have a headache ,2.0
16130,hello boston long time no see ,0.0
16131,why does the gym have to close at   i only had half a work out  working busy moms like me only get to gym at ,2.0
16132,it literally makes me sad how i see these guys treating beautiful independent women like trash but respect the on ,0.0
16133,depressionits whats for dinner because youre depressed and cant eat and also you dont deserve to eat anything good anyways,0.0
16134,rt starringlorel thetrayvonmartinstory is extremely sad ugh so hard to watch but we gotta face the truth this is america,2.0
16135,somehow tweeked my knee starting to bother me ,2.0
16136,watching prom nighti still dont have anyone to go with to the promotion dance  and its next week,2.0
16137,morning lifes a big adventureso make the best of every moment ,0.0
16138,i dont even know anything about that group but i feel so sad for him i,1.0
16139,apathic for everything am i the only one here that feels apathic about the world like nothing else matters nothing else brings joy its just existing because you have toas if you didnt care for  else or for recognition or anything and instead look at the world as if you only were wandering,3.0
16140,finally for the first time as long as i can remember i can breathe through my nose its the small successes which keep me going ,0.0
16141, this is so sad alexa play despacito,2.0
16142,amandaquick the conference was very good and definitely worth the journey  ,0.0
16143,is looking forward to yet another day lounging about in the sun ,0.0
16144,hang out with my family ,0.0
16145,that so sad i know how much taes family means to him i hope hes with them now ,1.0
16146,ddlovato i want to be more than a fan i want to be a friend do you think thats possible please reply back ,0.0
16147,i just wanna be important to someone fuck everyones got someone friendsiblingbfgf i have no one no one wants to be around me anymore i try so hard to be happy like they tell me to but i cant im tired of checking on everyone else asking them if theyre okay asking them to hang out being that shoulder to cry on im selfish i do those things just because thats what i want it sucks realizing youre not important to anyone at all its not fair,3.0
16148,flyness you mean literally proving out your plan or working on your books im working ,2.0
16149,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
16150,headed to the hot topic in northwoods mall to see if they will sponsor the rollerderby ,0.0
16151,just finished watching hannah montana haha very funny epi ,0.0
16152,crippling depression,2.0
16153,this is very important i didnt exactly title my post very well so can you please just tell me anything its the only other submission on my account its a long read but its all relevant i have to talk to someone thank you,3.0
16154,hmmm bored tonighttheres not alot on tv ,2.0
16155,carlye i love you so much baby  ima miss you so much  good luck babe  dont let a hoe tell you whats up  kiss kiss ,2.0
16156,on top of my surgery i have a fat ulcer on my lip ,2.0
16157,is board  ,2.0
16158,whyinthehell if i may butt in again  im done being nosey  sorry your conversation was just so interesting,2.0
16159,elyaught feed with small animal limbs ,0.0
16160,i feel so tired but its already morning here and my dad always wakes me to do those stupid newspapers ,2.0
16161,carocat it is actually really enjoyed the year on this course hopefully do pretty well in my exams and carry on into  ,0.0
16162,joshgroban there is smog here too but it is a very nice place to visit  ,0.0
16163,mommytwingirls it must have been good  it went quick  i didnt get any  ,2.0
16164,im losing my so and its my fault tried posting this on offmychest and got downvoted giving it a shot hereim depressed anxious overweight cry all the time and i dont see the positive of anything my so and i had a real chilling discussion last night how they look forward to the future and the things they want to do in life i dont have these goals i just wanna make enough money to be content i dont have the drive to be passionate about something anymore and to that they basically replied that if i dont see anything in my future then they dont really see a future for us and it crushed me one of the few things that keeps me going is our relationship traveling with each other laughing with each other growing old and helping one another out through the bad times and now im not sure if ill have that anymore i already see a counselor and i just booked to see a psychiatrist tomorrow to see if i can get on meds i really dont want to lose them for those who might ask weve been dating for almost a year,3.0
16165,rt relateshitt anxietydepression is scary af you push away everyone that means the most to you and you start to hate the person you are,2.0
16166,how have people coped with being antisocial this seemed fairly specific for raskreddit ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for quite some time but never dealt with it it always just seemed like its not worth putting a hold on life to figure it out ive recently begun seeing a psych and therapist but i havent noticed any changes i never want to socialize and when im forced to i always come up short i can never think of things to say and it makes the conversation taxing then comes the everforgiving negative feedback loop shas anyone ever found ways to work through this im trying to get through my issues organically but keep being disappointed with the outcomeany thoughtsedit thank you everyone for the thoughts and support a lot of them are easier said than done but i appreciate the personal accounts im going to try and take them to heart,3.0
16167,jamieoliver hell you deserve them  cute and the best chef ever what else can we wish,0.0
16168,is back on the east coast ,0.0
16169,mavinbkk im refusing to wear coloured tshirts now   land of smoke and mirrors lol,0.0
16170,kdudders that guy is a joke  hes got nothin on everclear ,0.0
16171,nickcarter  im so happy im going to be a medical undregraduate student very soon at the best hospital  bsb,0.0
16172, nope i dont take it back ,0.0
16173,jeahan tell me when ur in dumaguete eat ta pizza ,0.0
16174,goddessleonie morning possum ,0.0
16175,authorjjhebert my favorite local bookstore was vertigo books in college park md but it went out of business recently ,2.0
16176,lollydaskal simply show them your care and let them up and stand w em they definitely will feel it ,0.0
16177,getting ready for school dont want to goooo ,2.0
16178,wow i just passed bye my block ave d is so quiet  night dam chris we all miss u bro dam i already miss busting ur chops making u mad ,2.0
16179,cant wait  my sweetie  finish this job i feel just awful ,2.0
16180,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
16181,i feel so sad for tae i hope he and his family take the time they need to heal and they will be in my prayers pls ,1.0
16182,going outdoors all day   quotits a beautiful sunny dayquot says maison to his mama  xoxo,0.0
16183,have just finished breaking dawn  amazing book  ,0.0
16184,what do i do  i really fucking hate talking to people and im still in school so the only way to get around it is to use my phone which i want to stop using i dont want to talk to people its boring and draining to me the only thing i do besides use my phone is clean read and shop occasionally ill play a game i clean all day because my family never picks up after themselves ever i do all of the dishes clean the counters the microwave windows furniture everything my uncle lives with us because his wife kicked him out he goes to work smokes weed comes home eats our food and goes to bed hes never done anything around the house and im too scared to ask him to because he has the worst anger issues i hate him and honestly im thinking of staying with my dad more because of him all that my family ever does is consume they watch tv use facebook buy a lot of things eat a lot of shitty food etc i feel like i cant spend time with my family without doing those things also i shop a lot which i hate about myself i feel like my life revolves around dopamine my mental health is shit i have sleep paralysis often and i cant ever sleep because im scared of getting it again the other night i woke up at around  am and saw an old woman trying to stab me i couldnt go back to sleep because of it i repress a lot of emotions i hate them and i dont want to spend any time on them because i feel like my schedule is so crammed i want to stop using the internet but i just hate sitting with myself long enough for me to think about things i dont think im depressed i dont think im anything i dont know which sub to post this on sorryim a  year old girl i feel like this might be important to point out because the sleep paralysis might be common for people my age,3.0
16185,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
16186,we are looking forward to daddy returning from work on saturday hes been gone a whole month ,2.0
16187,niven but there are still too many stories that romanticise suicide and depression stories that tie things up in a neat bow yamatters,1.0
16188,yep north kent  no fair,2.0
16189,now im drinking my morning coffee  black strong taste with sugar httpbitlyywggl,0.0
16190,i love mtv movie awards ,0.0
16191,operation go buy sims before school  fail  ghetto walmartcan seem to locate the box they all came in i got the okie doke ,2.0
16192,ugh twitters going down for bloody maintenance ,2.0
16193,everything i have to do stresses me out and makes me feel unhappy hi in the last couple of months the feeling has grown on me that everything i have to do takes time away from things i want to do and completely stresses me out and makes me feel unhappythings like going to work chores in general cooking cleaning  appointments having to wait in traffic even sleeping  all feel like i am wasting time and having time being taken away from me i came to value free time so much that i cant handle it being taken away from me there is so much i want to do other than what im forced to do its like i never have enough timei have a history with depression i got out of a depression a few years ago after seeking help this feels different though in the past i never opened up and shut all my feelings in but now i vent them too quicklywhat do i do,3.0
16194,my big globule red grapes have lots of pips in them  ruined  ,2.0
16195,just got back from a nice  min work out ,0.0
16196,is it a full moon strangeness all around ,0.0
16197,doing my essays on summer sux ,2.0
16198,rt cartercenter we are delighted to be working with you all and your talented mentalhealth journalists appreciate their good work ,0.0
16199,gah im so crazy tiredd from work ,2.0
16200,i cant think about anything but this stupid huge crater of a wrinkle on my stupid forehead its sad ,2.0
16201,rt nickmara aint no stress on me lordim moving forward❤️,1.0
16202,lucylumcfly  toms my fav atm lol mind you i love them all aha xxx,0.0
16203,why do all the good rides keep breaking down ,2.0
16204,soo jealous  doris is eating icee creamm cakee  its my favoritee,2.0
16205,have i lost my profile picture ,2.0
16206,love of my life is gone  due to my actions lost the love of my love made a big mistake and cant forgive myself just wanted to write things took her for granted she was perfect in every way this is a wake up call im going to change im going to be better i will do it i have to i love you love bug im so sorry for everything i will miss you thank you for teaching me about myself the experiences i learned from you including this i will improve because of them ,3.0
16207,rt khushsundar dont forget kathuan n unnaodont forget lynchingsdont forget  deaths in atm queuesdont forget farmers committi,2.0
16208,te chamei na dm elogiando e nem me deu moral sad — te respondiii ,1.0
16209,leahearnshaw awww im sorry ,2.0
16210,taylorstewuuurt that makes me so sad ,2.0
16211,i need some hope i need a little hope that everything will be fine someday just a little hope ,3.0
16212, thank you holding down the buttons did the trick ,0.0
16213,ivanae u wont jinx it  say what it is ,0.0
16214, i suppose i should put some pants on ,0.0
16215,clearly influenced by the power of advertising i am pulling up to mccafe for a mocha i am sheep ,2.0
16216,heavy rains and thunderstorm last nightmore to come later this afternoon ,0.0
16217, its crazy sad meth is huge in the kelownavernon area by the looks of most of the people strung ou ,2.0
16218,ok having stollen and eaten all the sweets the kids are now grumpy and hyper better go  x,2.0
16219,completely slept thru alarm woke up at  flight from newarkcalgary  ,2.0
16220,lesleydenford theres this stuff called oxe drops made by nzymes that ive found helpful for both those things ,0.0
16221,chevale haha not jaga badan la hahaha really full eh cant eat anymore haha eee i wanna eat choc cake  but btu dn hv secret recipe ,2.0
16222,tofur he had scarred me up pretty bad but this guy was great ,0.0
16223,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16224,work today  urgh ,2.0
16225,need to do my hw ,2.0
16226, great minds think alike ,0.0
16227,new record i drove  miles in a weekend and didnt go more than  miles from home sad   back to work too more sad,2.0
16228,im done its  am here in st louis missouri and i still havent even been to sleep yet ive been up all night thinking of every way i could kill myself to just finally end this constant pain and suffering my dad committed suicide back in  and i completely understand exactly what he was feeling when he did it bcus im definitely feeling that right now my family doesnt give a shit about me i suffer from drug addiction i have absolutely nothing left to live for and nothing worth living life for im  and i feel so damn old i just feel like ive officially been defeated and i cant keep going on like this im so tired of waking up everyday pretending like im fine and throwing on a smile and fooling everyone around me when im hurting so bad inside and im screaming inside so loud but nobody can hear my screams or cries for help i want someone to help me change my mind but i have no friends no family i have nothing anymore ive lost everything everything i touch i destroy ive never felt like such a worthless piece of shit more than i do now i just want to die end this pain and suffering i live with everyday i dont want to be here anymore i want to go somewhere else bcus ive already lived my hell here on earth so nothing could be any fucking worse than this,3.0
16229,geezzzz hummer going to the chinese whats next on the list the vette gm you suck im a fffoford man now  fb,2.0
16230,legs are uber smooth i fn love you and miss you ps dot forget to tell your mommy happy mothers day haha ,0.0
16231,another unread passage how do you guys stop yourselves from ending it all ive tried to kill myself  times already by hanging myself but i always pussy out at the last moment its like i dont even know who i am anymore i have friends and loving family members but why do i feel this way its like my brain is fucked up in the worst way i cant sleep at all and when i wake up no matter how much i sleep im still tired i just want to know what you guys do to keep yourself in one piece because i am on the verge of fucking killing myself im literally failing life at the moment as well i have college applications due but everytime i want to do something productive i just fucking cant focus and just wanna die its to the point where i cant even cry and its just the worst i want to let out all my pain but i just cant,3.0
16232,ohhhmy neck is sooo hurting from yesterday ,2.0
16233,suzeormanshow i love the idea but have never been fortunate enough to attend i am a  yr old financial slob ,2.0
16234,pointmoot odd i was just listening to the scotchmist version of  stepquot when you replied ,0.0
16235, lmaoim dumb sooooo hey baby   ,0.0
16236,donniewahlberg  tomorrow is going to be an emotional day for meseeing you for the last time as far as i know my heart hurts ,2.0
16237,sadly i must leave my beloved bl to go to work for the night   but we have a date for tommorrow afternoon amp any spare time til tues haha,2.0
16238,just saw terminator salvation  really enjoyed it loads of action ,0.0
16239,is cleaning his itunes  it is like my sl inventory only worse  ,2.0
16240,please answer just write how it feels being depressed ill gild somebody because i feel bad but i want somebody else feel goodfor me it feels like being empty inside yet feeling heavyi can not gild everything and i will not chose based on something ill randomly pick one sorry and thanks,3.0
16241,  my momlette got me new shoes yesterday i think theyre my new favorites ,0.0
16242,making my first commit with versionapp  learning by trial amp error ,0.0
16243,just realized that i forgot to go to a friends party last night oops guess ill be getting an ear full tomorrow ,2.0
16244,csinews guess im out ,2.0
16245, ya i know thats what good friends do thanks kk ,0.0
16246,out last night and nt feeling too good ,2.0
16247,thegreenwelly ahhh i should click on the links then ,0.0
16248,johnmooresemail get your morning off to the right start what a surreal vid it was but alas no box   httpbitlyegrn,2.0
16249,really not been a great daythe hits just keep coming and i could really use a break ,2.0
16250,theres only two weeks left to vote for whatnowtv for the netguide web awards  show us some love  httpwhatnowtvnetguideaspx,0.0
16251,asdfghjkl something wrong with twitter  ,2.0
16252,why dont i genuinely care about other people i think i may be a narcissist or something as much as i try to care about people and their lives it is a lie i dont miss my parents friends or husband when im not around them it feels like a chore to include anyone in my life i call ask questions participate in events make datesbut none of it really interests me you know how they say you shouldnt be with someone unless you can picture a future with them i dont feel that about anyone in fact when i think about the future it excites me most to think about being a hermit on the outskirts of society in solitude it seems pretty selfish to leave everyone who loves me behind though and besides i do genuinely like them and love them being around my husband and parents makes me happy but not being around them also brings relief,3.0
16253,rt jediasu asu saved my lifeliterallyhelped me recognize my depression to get help to be successful to graduateforeve ,0.0
16254,editing  ,2.0
16255,just got home from shang amp mega with ninlauharley  clawdaddy and crank ftw ,0.0
16256,really sad right now ,2.0
16257,congrats to the bay state for winning the gk theme song contest  httpwwwmyspacecomthebaystate,0.0
16258,bunnygirlrock yep all is good todayjust had a momentary lapse of sanity  days backhate it when that happens  ,0.0
16259,    charlie bit my finger  again soooo cute ,0.0
16260,time to sleep football camp in the morning then a consult with my orthodonist surgeon ,2.0
16261,julieguli yes that is why my plane landed  instead of  ,2.0
16262,yay i just ordered pizzammmm  ,0.0
16263,just sittin here rly bored at the rec department ,0.0
16264,mslaudanum  no no no  it has to be a double flake with hundreds and thousandsthey know nothing these days ,2.0
16265,ive been up for only   hours and im already tiredyep im sick ,2.0
16266,nikilpiabd welcome heres some great twitter tips     happy tweeting ,0.0
16267,the greatest thing in life is to love and to be loved in return ,0.0
16268,uh ohmy reply button just disappeared again  ,2.0
16269,wooh powergun haha washing away ,0.0
16270,ananyah lol its really not good ,2.0
16271,melchavez hahaha i will woooo ,0.0
16272,oh btw my face has cleared up quite a bit make up can cover up the rest ,0.0
16273,okay so apparently there is a thunderstorm brewing outsidewowcrazy ca weatherit has been yucky for the past days  june gloom ,2.0
16274,istkomisch i was hungry a bowl with corn flakes solved my hunger ,0.0
16275,i went on a whole day without twittering  omg,2.0
16276,julianclarke lol how was the conference i was meant to go but had a family thing ,2.0
16277,i got too hopeful things arent looking good on the gizmo front ,2.0
16278, dont we all want to be at jonas brothers lol i tried to get ticket for hollies birthday but they were sold out  xx,2.0
16279,rt  every tomorrow has two handles we can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety or by the handle of faith aldubdeeper 💘,1.0
16280,momz just made it back from vegas yayyyyy ,0.0
16281,vmware unveils the its cloudos   now the game will become more interesting ,0.0
16282,getting ready to go outt ,0.0
16283,feeling kind of down today have no idea why  ,2.0
16284,my sunburn is so itchyi cant sleep  ,2.0
16285,having a fun time at my school though classes starts next week ,0.0
16286,working on things genaustin waiting for the maytag repair person my coworkers will appreciate me in clean cloths ,0.0
16287,i really feel like punching a wall right now i get these moments of feelings of pure emptiness and sadness and i hate it why does it feel like im the only person in the world who would make time for people who need me but when im in a tough spot no one is there for me thats what i hate about life how unfair it is ,3.0
16288,losing my support one person at a time mobile post sorry i joined the military at  and just left home this was before facebook by a few years and i didnt have a cell so i lost contact with about  of the people i knew i never really fit in in the military either always sitting in the barracks alone and just waiting for the next formation after ten years of isolation while surrounded by people i was medically retired moved back home to nothing and nobody and got my degree because thats what were supposed to do right graduate cum laude and then just nothing i am  physically broken and emotionally inept i remember making friends in high school and it was usually through other friends how do i start from zero i dont have anything to offer anyone since i dont do anything and i feel like a burden on the earth consuming for no other purpose than to continue i dont care about anything enough to motivate me to do anything but living off of the retirement pittance doesnt leave room for much im stuck between physicalmental disability and a complete lack of knowledge on how to change it tldr alone for  years disabled no job no friends no hobbies no ideas for change,3.0
16289,adamszr i see you are starting to like tweeting be warned its addictive ,0.0
16290, it was an experience ,0.0
16291,barely logged in ola dont drink anymoire saertiously ,0.0
16292,posters posters posters wet warped flapping posters need to come down and be stored for the general election in  months  ,0.0
16293,matthardybrand good morning hope you slept well and had fun with your show i know i have fun watching it ,0.0
16294,pusingpusingpusingmualmualmual ,2.0
16295,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
16296,a few good vendors stephaniekern  all my vendors are great  but not all are on twitter ,2.0
16297,i was overdue for an anxiety attack i guess yikes,2.0
16298,first bloody nose of nose of the season ,2.0
16299,it will never be enough doesnt matter how much i help people how much i try i never get along with people they dont like me and i dont like them i just cant stand most of the people i want to help i want to be the typical hero that helps others but my frustration is very big everything is boring its like watching the grass grow and knowing that there is a world out there and you cant reach it and after that i feel bad with myself because i feel like a special snowflake and thats bad i just want someone with whom be myself i had people that at first looked like i could trust them and then abandoned me im a conceited man i have dual feelings and thoughts all day i want to learn all about the universe and i feel bad and suffer about that and then i feel bad because my suffering is not justified that im just an spoiled brat nothing will be enough and i cant get along with the people around me i feel like they dont understand me i just want true friends i cant express all my life in this post and i feel that some things will be misunderstood i dont know what to do,3.0
16300,i dont twitter that much  im just so busy and i hate it coz im suppose to be chillaxing the shit out,2.0
16301,need to have fun  so bored x,2.0
16302,daisywalking what  that is still really good only one c ,2.0
16303,sarahsy hahaha id be down for alki good times amp i might go home in july for a bit but not sure yet bc of workinterning  ah were old,2.0
16304,hey mercedes sing alongs ,0.0
16305,is trying to antibac her work area to keep the coworkers germs away everyone seems to be sick ,2.0
16306,bkviking spice is good for the souli do understand what youre saying tho im thinking of a cereal nameintials c b  heehee,0.0
16307,rite guys am off now to hairdressers will be back later ,0.0
16308,starbuxx iced coffee to get me goin gloomy day me no like ,2.0
16309,now i feel sad for jaemin renjun is all sad while hes at the too of the world why,2.0
16310,whatisalysandra shit oh wait i though we were talking about my future roomie uhm but yeah im calling both of them ,0.0
16311,so frustrated with twidroid that im considering looking for another twitter app for my   ,2.0
16312,babygirlparis get someone to do it for you  ,0.0
16313,hippofloat sounds great man im bringing my oldest daughter tonight alyssa shell be in  grade this fall a youth   shes pumped,2.0
16314,is nott living for the moment therefore lettt go of some things  not sure if doing the right thing maybe its for the best,2.0
16315,had to flush the goldfishit felt so wrong ,2.0
16316,its my birthday its my birthday and im  now my birthday is the marker for the event that sparked my depression and now i resent it but i feel bad not being happy today because everyone around me tries so hard to make it special and i cant help but feel awful its been  years now and i feel worse every time i dont know why i cant just be happy why did i have to be one of the ones who has to live like this why do i have to feel this way all the time it never goes away nothing distracts me anymore ill have some form of this for the rest of my life no matter what changes i will always be me and thats terrifying to me i dont know how to feel anymore,3.0
16317,wheres cahinxman when you need her ,2.0
16318,phazeii hahah heyyyyyyy  lol ur too sweet hows u doinn,0.0
16319,any tips for keeping off weight with a medication that is associated with increased appetite i start tapering off duloxetine starting today in order to start mirtazapine remeron next weekhowever im worried about this meditation being notorious for gaining weightthis is something i really dont want as i am self conscious about my weight enough alreadyany tips from your own experiencethanks in advance,3.0
16320,why are we all so sad,2.0
16321,rt  while i do believe there will be no blue wave its very important to stress that everyone needs to get out and vote for,1.0
16322,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
16323,also  i love when the shoes i order from zappos arrive before i have time to track them  ,0.0
16324,twittering it up i dont know how i feel about thisi think i like it a lattee haha ,0.0
16325,patricklanglois i love anything you do pat ,0.0
16326,andymooseman bugger wrongly addressed this boo  glad the day went off well though,2.0
16327,tweatmeat its my childhood nickname  pele the goddess of fire created the volcanos on hawaii and a great soccer player ,0.0
16328,nizm loving the new launch  cant wait to see what people are posting  though i will strive to maintain my top editor status ,0.0
16329,i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up honestly i feel like nothing is ever really getting better for me the older i get the more i realize how useless i really am ill be  next month but i honestly dont see myself leaving pass this point i do try things and i try my best but nothing ever works out if i had the courage id do it tonight but i dont i dont know when but as soon as the opportunity opens im doing it ,3.0
16330,greggrunberg they should quiz you on how to spell lamborghini before getting behind the wheel  jealous man very jealous,0.0
16331,eating is all i have to make me happy its so unhealthy ive never weighed this much in my life im finally in obese territory i dont know what to do obviously fucking not eat so much but what do i do when im having a shit day and all i want to do is eat a nice lunch having a fucking awful day and i went and got some pasta now i just failed a test so im eating chips and cheese im fucking miserable ill eat until im uncomfortably full and then hate myself for doing it on one hand id rather be full and angry than hungry and angry but one the other id like for myself to not be uncomfortable with my own fucking body i know the answers are obviously eat less work out eat healthier that is so goddamn hard when youre depressed when youre chronically stressed you know what i want after getting berated at work all day a fucking pizza ,3.0
16332,  i miss these days ,2.0
16333,nathalielewis oh i envy u so much idlove to go there got frickin fluu but feeling much better now after  whole days in bed  haha,0.0
16334, get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
16335,rachelhawley no  but thats a bonus  i thought it would be novel to be able to flirt at a ug meeting ,0.0
16336,i dont want anything from life does anyone else feel like this i want nothing from life i dont want love money friends or family i just want to stop existing i just got accepted in a good university and im barely getting c or c and im unable to study for more than  seconds i went to my first university final exams without studying at all and before i used to sit  hours straight studying and yea i do understand theres a difference between highschool and university but i just dont want anything anymore i literally want nothing from life ,3.0
16337,ate a senorita bananaim sooooo hungry whens lunch dont wanna study quotconstitution amp human rightsquot ,2.0
16338,jennjolie i have a flu   but a really bad one can hardly breathe,2.0
16339,ohshmayla haha its okay frenchy  i love you too buddy ol pal  ,0.0
16340,it was just the lighting this is so sad ,0.0
16341,in desperate need of a new phone     any recommendations,2.0
16342,xanneroo just dont go to any of the fast food stalls in camden market theyll turn your belly i fall for it every time ,2.0
16343,wishing i was at the mtv movie awards ,2.0
16344,man have i got a headache i need it to go away ,2.0
16345,mrswrustare goodnight i am brain dead right now  sleep and thinking about july is bad,2.0
16346,itsmeleighton sorry about what you will have to go through   stay strong,2.0
16347,glorjayne next few weeks should be fine cause all the sales and events will end this weekend ,0.0
16348,when will little bobby muller realize that legalizing russian mailorder brides is a good thing have always said this sad,0.0
16349,rt happymentality five mental health bloggers you really need to follow  ,1.0
16350,justice league in the background isnt the best way to concentrate on work ,2.0
16351,i dont know how to cope i have a crippling anxiety disorder and i am extremely depressed i have almost no social contact and i usually stay in playing video games or reading i am terrified of walking into school everyday but i have no choice my parents cant afford online education since we have a very income i also have a very low school attendance rate since i find it difficult to wake up or i just cant gather enough courage to go into school and face my problems like a manive tried calming myself down ive tried smoking they did nothing except made me worry about my health and ive tried drinking alcohol but that also just made me worry about my healthim lost i go to sleep crying and hardly get any sleep and when i wake up i feel like i just want to drop back down again and not wake up,3.0
16352,shaundiviney u do have a real job being a rawkstarrr xd ohyerr come  newcastle and visit mee im sick ,2.0
16353,iamphisho there really isnt ,0.0
16354,working while everyone else is partying ,2.0
16355,there just isnt enough hours in today to get done what i need ,2.0
16356,blueflow really how was your day then ,0.0
16357,rt oneeofaakind my tweets  dont be about me i live a very simple life and dont allow nobody to stress me out only my real frie,0.0
16358,ugh we neeeeeed seimone to come backpray its not serious ,2.0
16359,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16360,nana to a  baby girl born may    lbs  ounces  inches long emerson is the name ,0.0
16361,ironically lately has been the saddest times of my life school is okay i suppose im dragging behind a bit but i can maintain my grades even if theyre pretty lowi have a couple of friends only one that would care if i lefti dont have a lot of hobbies i used to play games but i suppose i grew out of it right now im trying to get into programming which is actually quite funampnbsplife could be a lot worse but i still feel empty its like nothing matters anymore,3.0
16362,jesocute yeahh hes damn cutteeeexzxzxz lol im broke okay ,2.0
16363,i really wanted to go to city stages this year ,2.0
16364,chkd  good  u ,0.0
16365, it is ive done somethign like  updates today s ,0.0
16366,had fun at the meet  now shut eye,0.0
16367,boytoyjesse savannah is so cute i wanna see more video blogs ,0.0
16368,successrice cant dm without a follow back ,2.0
16369,paulaabdul  i love that when i get your twitter messages on my phone the ring tone is quotvibeologyquot  xx,0.0
16370,awesomefrank im sorry to hear that  hate it when you feel bad,2.0
16371,nessaslashrice hiii  it was ummm lonely so many ppl away  u and zoe abandoned me in tech she was funny but i couldnt laugh alone ,2.0
16372,okie gonna tweet more because i am loosing you guys or girls ,2.0
16373,woah its past  am and im still up thats new whats next ,0.0
16374,now the boys are watching the fa cup and the girls are baking apologies for gender stereotypes ,0.0
16375,def a monday  im so tired ,2.0
16376,maxertheboxer ng ,0.0
16377,faithzinnia dang   thought donuts were a staple of all diets no matter the town,2.0
16378,thedebbyryan   aw i wanted to go sooooo bad but my mom got sick   did you have fun,2.0
16379,so not only have i never seen majority of the movies nominated but also the tv shows ,2.0
16380,xoxodisorder auwh thanks  but trust me i think mine is a bitweird,0.0
16381,mhhmmm im eating the most delicious sandwich everr what can i say im a super talented sandwich creater ,0.0
16382, i know i keep saying this but you are piss funny ,0.0
16383,eplefro okay then  but bbq is always good ,2.0
16384,i am now ranked  in outrun online arcade ,0.0
16385,in a pretty good mood ,0.0
16386,ninerwiner resident evil  ,0.0
16387,i hate car drives ,2.0
16388,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
16389,rt indiansinner depressed teens go into their adult years living with depression and never getting help because they dont know any ,1.0
16390, is it raining where you are its pouring down here  x,2.0
16391,my tummy still hurts  thank god im going in late tomorrow,2.0
16392,loulou sicilian olives drool im cooking spagetti with lentil sauce and feta ,0.0
16393, but no singing tomorrow ,2.0
16394,dear someone im still waiting on that miracle  the end ,0.0
16395,viendo videos d twilight   ,0.0
16396,finally pau work it was good seeing my sisters ,0.0
16397,great day for sailing but got old folks aboard ,2.0
16398,wrldfms damn i think we got screwed in the last election  really disappointed that obama isnt as convinced of his values as bush was ,2.0
16399,broadwayjbaker you calling me a crackhead ,2.0
16400,i just laughed but i guess its not that funny ,2.0
16401,i dont know what to do anymore all my life i always i had to deal with depression and the bad feeling at the back of mind i always thought that i just need a plan in life which will lead me to happiness i had much success and reached everything i wanted so far and still i dont feel anything differenti tried many things and in the end its always just a short entertainment like drawing learning how to play the guitar or keyboard playing games doing fitness or even just listening to musicat this moment i dont know what to do anymore i feel like at some point in the future im either gonna get crazy or gonna kill myselfi know i wont do it but i also know that every thought is consistent,3.0
16402,roomy looked at me funny so i thought it was worth a tweet ,0.0
16403,anyone else feel socially withdrawn i have felt so out of it lately at times i will try and give it my best to socialize but its excruciatingly dull and in the end it just exhausts me much of the time i end up embarrassing myself anyway talking gibberish without realizing it overthinking my replies etc i get tired of engaging in conversation just for the sake of being courteous if someone tries to initiate conversation with me and im not in the mood to even fake it i will just tell them im not interested in talking and literally get up and leave it sounds harsh i know but you start to not care after feeling this way for so long ,3.0
16404,in abilene for a while ,0.0
16405,is suffering from some serious and sudden knee pain ow ,2.0
16406,sandrabernhard i wanna come i wanna come lol too bad im a zillion miles away ,2.0
16407,why oh why do i have so much homework ,2.0
16408, yr old female depression is all i knew  misery enjoys company im a  year old conventionally attractive female i was always and still am a tomboy i can just pass a girly girly if im feeling up for it i was into wrestling went to two events or so live hard gaming and had pretty much every hand held device and gaming system like i had clans with different people from all over the world online halo is and was my shit cod for sure taxi on dreamcast and sims lots of sims i didnt peak physically until like junior year of high school so i developed what they call an ugly girl personality which pretty much meant now that im older not a shallow human being but then as i transferred to my second university with my gay best friend we drifted apart in more ways than i imagined i thought i was okay with that i clearly wasnt depression hit hard second time around never felt a part of a community true lone wolf on a lot of drugs blunts about  times maybe more on a random day about every day lost all passion and motivation just never felt like i fit in knew my place there were days i couldnt make it out of bed days id be surprised if i even showered oh the energy it takes to even do that when you are physically mentally emotionally and spiritually blocked an incident occurred the weekend before my birthday lsd unlocked the gateway to my subconscious that i was avoiding in my current reality after that experience it changed me and no i have taken psychedelics multiple of times shrooms as well no experience quite like this i dont suggest it unless youre willing to be open to the inner truths about true yourself if your mind goes there this is just my experience you could practice mindfulness and writing therapy even all trail and error i feel truth and willingness to accept my truth and do something about it helped me forgive myself and heal i am still in the process of healing but i can now see the light i have bouts of depression and anxiety the fun stuff you know it left me stagnant for years i had to lose everything to gain true value and find myself again spirituality helped me a lot i have faith now being a victim and choosing comfortability doesnt inspire growth action is the enemy of thought try and exercise choice even if its the littlest of things like brushing your teeth or taking a shower i see you i am proud of you take your time be kind to yourself we are all human we are still learning im not perfect i still struggle to be organized and have an anal borderline ocd mother who controls absolutely everything and is so detailoriented its alarming imagine the misunderstanding there i have felt shame guilt humiliation embarrassment doubtfulness and mostly importantly fear of course you can either choose fear or love choose fear i have faith in you take your time it took me a decade to come to this revelation inner truths about self doesnt always come knocking at your door  most times it is subtle pay attention to the universe it speaks to us there are no coincidences the answers will come to you when you are ready to receive them take your time be kind to yourself forgive yourself sincerely someone whom unintentionally did every deadly sin apparently there are   i labeled myself as agnostic but now i have no doubt in my mind that during my moments of solitude during the lsd trip i was able to change me and access my subconscious take my power back i felt reborn refreshing i suggest what works best for you,3.0
16409,ultimate training and after cycling back to revnice  bad idea there are millions of some small flies around river ,2.0
16410, god thats so awful why would you do that to your kid ,2.0
16411,i added a video to a youtube playlist  tere ishq ne sathiya sad songsad whatsapp video tere naam song ,2.0
16412, ahh right cant you go down to their office and teach them ,2.0
16413,harry potter clip left me wanting more does anyone know when the movie comes out i feel outta the loop  mtvmovieawards,2.0
16414,what the hell is that milf money bullshit wow for someone who likes me youre a good damn liar  fucking sick,2.0
16415,should i kill myself i feel as if though im the only one has it right i know that people should love each other yet people dont no one treats anyone with respect everyones is generally rude mean pessimistic and hateful im one of the only truly pure one i know in this world we need to keep the pures and eliminate all the villans which is everyone else,3.0
16416,gosh  school really sucks  i hate it and i think i have a crush on a  xoxo m,2.0
16417,morning twitter wahh the concert was soo great would love to go there again met so nice people ,0.0
16418,just woke up and saw that i have a fever blister the size of a small planet on my upper lipso not cute ,2.0
16419,rt iswoonforjoon if youre tweeting about the sad news please make sure to censor the members name so it will not trend worldwide 💜,0.0
16420,these chicks toenails are so black wtf i thought she had polish on already ,2.0
16421,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
16422,dilemma enjoy the sun or watch playoff final groningen  nac breda chose football will enjoy the sun during a  family bbq later today ,0.0
16423,posted pics from davidarchie s and david cooks concert here in manila on my facebook account  loved them  specially davidarchie ,0.0
16424,is anyone else depressed because of loneliness i dont know what to do i lost all my friends ive tried to blame my depression on other things but ive realized that i need social interaction ,3.0
16425,toddsmithphoto hope you managed plenty of time for your camera ,0.0
16426,batyasmusic dont really have a reason haha sounds stupid ill be  ,0.0
16427,omg my lil cuz gettin on my nervs followin me around da houz n shiz tryna vibe rite now bumpin love lock downthinkin bout da ex ,2.0
16428,rt   people did suicide in demand of maratha reservation but narendramodi you are sleeping we are very unhappy with n,2.0
16429,dinkybean twitters support blog says they rolled out followblock fixes  days ago i think that they havent gotten the bugs out yet ,2.0
16430,rt thecraftyside just put the finishing touches on my anxiety booklet that will be available june  anxiety bloggerstribe bloggerbe,1.0
16431,why i dont even understand what the fucking problem with me is anymore i just want to know whywhy am i so uselesswhy am i so weakwhy am i so patheticwhy am i so talentlesswhy do i feel an empty pit in my heart so hard i need to clench my chest to make it stopwhy dont i enjoy anything anymorewhy does my life have no merit whatsofuckingeverwhy does everything i do remind me how worthless my life iswhy am i so uglywhy am i so repulsive and vilewhy do i have to be cursed with this bodywhy does everyone grow to hate mewhy does everyone i try to care about always leave mewhy cant i make friendswhy cant i hold down a jobwhy cant i go one day without cryingwhy am i so unlovablewhy am i destined to die alonewhy cant i do what everyone else doeswhy do i make the lives of everyone i know worsewhy am i incapable of fixing myselfwhy cant i just get it over with and end my sad meaningless excuse of a lifejustwhy,3.0
16432,lykke was good but the sound wasnt  coulda turned it up a notch or   i wanted to tweet the sound girl ,2.0
16433,how food can improve your mental health  bbc news  httpstcobamjtknlji,0.0
16434,mickael  i cant connect quotread errorquot ,2.0
16435,boomboxhearts  im having dinner with older friends in like  hours  fuck im so sorry to be shit cant believe ive missed you ,2.0
16436,i just hate myself i just look at myself in the mirror and i hate myself every day some days i ignore some days something else makes me happy but never my own body or mind i started the keto diet in mid february and i have not lost anything more than my water weight i try to experiment with my looks i just end it hating myself even more i always think im ugly how did i become so unattractive on top of that i have no will to make things better i have no motivation ive been hating the diet even more because i never liked to starve myself i still dont  years i never liked this body i dont know what will change this probably nothing,3.0
16437,my girlfriend left me she left for the guy i knew she liked ive never been more broken she was the only person who was there and now shes gone ive never felt so alone i dont know what to do,3.0
16438,astros wow  straight lost its sad when they have to depend on two players that are out we get outscored by th ,1.0
16439,is feeling pissed off at my self  what happend today ,2.0
16440,feeling so down  life transition my life has not gone the way i wanted or planned at all i was always a scholar student top  of my graduating class of  in high school got into a great university honors program then and i got pregnant at age  and dropped out married the guy who got me pregnant had another baby my husband is not the nicest guy can be nice can be my worst nightmare my kids are  and almost  now i stay home to take care of them depression probably ppd has been kicking my ass these last few years most days i just want to stay in bed im a shell of my former self i applied to go back to school was finally so excited about something in my life and my husband told me that i am being selfish and not smart i registered anyway start classes later this week and lost all excitement and motivation to go now i am almost dreading it but i know i need to do it to get myself out of this shit life ive made for myself but god damn everything is so difficult all of the time life sucks send me good vibes i can get through this,3.0
16441,kmallan i was born amp raised on the wrong side of the tracks i am only  but lifetrained in school of hard knocks  tnx though  ,0.0
16442,pulled out my gameboy classic to play tetris and the screen fell off cant find my tetris game anyway ,2.0
16443,manogirl i understand stupid voices as a sign of joy huzzah for your internets ,0.0
16444,updating java for osx   all  of it you really need broadband to download software updates ,2.0
16445,ogiraffe   i wish you could too,2.0
16446,all state is almost over ,2.0
16447,sylea  good luck  love ,0.0
16448,ineverycolor im not going to be in brooklyn at all  im sorry me and nate are going to come back and visit soon,2.0
16449,i love sleepin on my couch ,2.0
16450,rt breiclouds this gave me so much anxiety ,1.0
16451,tcollins didnt get a chance to say hi this morning coffeemorning would have loved to see littleun  next time,2.0
16452,arctic monkeys  i bet you look good on the dancefloor ,2.0
16453,did japanese kanji  didnt know only twwwoo good for me ,0.0
16454,just went car shopping for a  seated car for the foster kids  and for the new baby on the way lol xx,0.0
16455,bmxicecream  im sorry thats really sad,2.0
16456,mileycyrusjunki awesome thank you for the heads up ,0.0
16457,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
16458,i feel like i might throw up ,2.0
16459,hungover ugh  ,2.0
16460,mothers day  do you know where your children are  i dont ,2.0
16461,beach beach beachh ,0.0
16462,follows the french tv live for the first time in years i wish i could understand more of it now ,2.0
16463,i cant stop worry and panic about things that didnt happen yet and its killing me its really kills me how i get depressed and may even cry and panic regarding things that didnt happen like my dad or mum  die or my baby catch even coronavirus or hubby would stop loving me or leave me i cant stop thinking about the most darkest scenarios and i hate my self how depressed and gloomy i am,3.0
16464,rt patcohennyt why is a belowaverage jobless rate still causing above average anxiety no security and stability  ,1.0
16465,calvertbill feeing slightly better now thanks  it takes time for the meds to take effect will have to wait amp see in a week or so,0.0
16466,and i dont mind if theyre talking shits about me but lamakelamaan my anxiety and depression hits me its not a good thing,2.0
16467,how do i come out to my mom ever since december i started to lose motivation in a lot of my hobbies id sit in front of my computer doing nothing but looking at my steam library because i didnt feel like doing anything school started to become more stressful i started to rush all my work and i didnt even care about what my grades would be in the end fast forward to summer a family issue occurs which i will not get into detail and now its gotten worse i dont always feel sad but i do often feel empty and tired i also have noticed that my memory got worsei want to get help i want to feel normal againive been meaning to talk to my mom about this but im not sure how i would go about doing it i feel like therapy and maybe antidepressants would be the best option for me to get help what should i say,3.0
16468,so not looking forward to seeing dentist in a couple of hours ,2.0
16469,you guys are awesome  seriously the people in this subreddit are just the nicest most caring people i have ever met and i just wanna say thank you you guys rock,3.0
16470,whats the song that helps you through the day hey all fighters  when im a bit under the weather this  is the one that calms me down which is yours,3.0
16471, gtots sick we are homebound today ,2.0
16472,ow my thumb hurts  and i almost walked over a bum sleeping on the ground ,2.0
16473,so tired from the gym ,2.0
16474,officialtila why dont you do a live webcam show like on ustream like souljaboytellem does then you can show us all of your shoes ,0.0
16475,i had a dream last night and now im really depressed i very rarely dream but yesterday i did dream about sitting in class next to a girl and she helped me with math or something kinda getting closer and closer until we basically cuddeld when i woke up this morning i was just sad and still am why would i dream something like that id rather not feel happy in a dream when im not in the real world ,3.0
16476,awww charlie is flirting with claire already in episode  ,0.0
16477,chrisblake how come what i forgot ,2.0
16478,vivianbarros unfortunately the blackampred lost  but i dont mind im from pernambuco and sport is my alternative ,0.0
16479,feel like everyone in academia is out to get me i came to college after the service and am one semester away from graduating but its so hard to be happy i often get treated poorly when i have to go to reserve training and have been receiving negative remarks for these suppose to be excused absences after three years of this im losing motivation ive struggled with depression my entire life i actively see counselors etc but i need some kind of advice on how the fuck i can smile again when it feels like the world is out to get me,3.0
16480,gettin geared up for a  week run van and trailer here we  hours of pure fun okay ill stop with this madnessim done ,0.0
16481,oh yeah got a new internet connection at home  its a little bit slow though but as long as i can tweet its all good ,0.0
16482,nicolaarthur aww  at least ul have lovely goodies to take ur mind off it and then to eat them again to take ur mind off it  hehe xx,0.0
16483,omg rpattz was supposed to do jizz in my pants what a cruel world we live in that it didnt happen ,2.0
16484,looks like everything is gonna be going smoothly selling my  to joeydalleva then selling my  then picking up my  ,0.0
16485,i dont want to die i just want to be free living everyday is such a burden its like theres nothing i can do to escape from the thoughts anymore im just continuously reminded of how much i hate being here e v e r y fucking second but as stupid as it sounds i still do hope that life gets better and that everything will be worth it in the end,3.0
16486,i know hes sad and now im crying😭,2.0
16487,slipandstumble aus history woo but ive stopped now gamesampquizzes is much more fun ,0.0
16488,jaysingh good morning my friend happy to see you ,0.0
16489,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
16490,repomonkey isnt twitterfon great plus iphone update should be out soon ,0.0
16491,see they make their friendship work when they dont see eachother for weeksmonths it can still be strong like that franco  ily,2.0
16492,i think ive always selfsoothed my anxiety and depression with anger and self destruction for the last few years ive been happy ive been good i fell in love with my best friend she broke up with me  days before valentines wouldve been my first valentines with someone i loved at least got my first new years kiss ive dated and had relationships just never long ones i preferred to keep my relationships based on sexcasual distantive dealt with the abuse the abondantment of my family being homeless in jail all that shit but fuck i am weak right now my heart rate spikes i am angry i drink i smoke a lot more then previously get into fights brawl just to brawl i use to have a balance i use to manage this hurt but its been so long i forgot that delicate balance on how to pass and im afraid im gonna lose all this progress ive never been suicidal but ive also accepted my mortality until her i accepted the fact that i was gonna die alone and lived my life accordingly i was gonna take a huge loan at around  and flee the country and die from too much sin somewhere in a far corner of the world this post is maniac honestly i am just venting anonymously ive walked the tight rope of self improvement without therapy im afraid that if i unpack all that shit i be left worse off ive packed all that hate anger pain abuse abondamnet and laid them into useful not pretty furniture in my head space if i move them or unpack them i am afraid all of that shit is gonna spill out  and i aint strong enough anymore i become complacent all because of her i dont even want her back that aint my place to ask for again i hope we will get back together but it was her choice to leave has to be her choice to come back i just want to find the balance i had need to harness my anger and pain and turn it inward to keep all this shit packed in i wish crying would take the pain away but it doesnt i finally understand how exhausting this dull pain can be i can see why people choice death its always been an abstract feeling for me ive neve thought about killing myself ive thought about killing ive thought about destroying my life and dying in due time but never killing myself now its less abstract though i dont want to kill myself ive never had anything to live for so thats never stopped me ive always lived for myself sex alchohol laughs good music the physical and selfish pleasures have always been the reason ive never thought about letting go like that,3.0
16493,sometimes coworkers are amazing my depression has gotten so much worse the past couple weeks and ive been trying to hide it as best i can at work i guess i wasnt doing a great job at it because today one of my coworkers walked up to me randomly just to give me a hug its amazing how much just one hug helped me get through the day ,3.0
16494,i does not have a twin ,2.0
16495,i always have fun when i hang out with my st pauls friends ,0.0
16496,i called three different helplines tonight i wanted to end things tonight i came incredibly close to doing it but chickened out i knew it would fail and id have to deal with the consequences i still feel so roughi called the helpline given to me by the adult mental health team for their patients i spoke to a mental health nurse she told me this is expected because of my change in medication she didnt tell me how to deal with it she said its my brain missing the serotonin and itll be ok sooni called nhs  they deemed it not an emergency since i didnt go through with it im ok with that since i really dont wanna spend a night in the hospital waiting room so i can chat to a psychiatrist for  minutes the call taker was very mechanical about things she told me to speak to a crisis teami called my local mental health crisis team they said i should speak to the adult mental health team helpline the one i called first they said i should take my meds for the night and then listen to some music just mindfully listen and clear my headit was weird they all just decided the call was over they never asked if i had anything i wanted to say maybe thats unreasonable for me to expect if i called three helplines and none worked maybe im the problem they were all trained healthcare professionals not volunteers it should have worked i feel like a lost cause,3.0
16497,nessadamaged  its going to be so much fun i cant wait ,0.0
16498,yay finally got a pic up by doing some cropping ,0.0
16499,timetogetyours i may return for a few ,0.0
16500,dammitmychael i love you darlin ,0.0
16501,i hate supercleaning it literally gives me anxiety,2.0
16502,iswimforoceans no  she was telling me all about it in like insane detail so not good,2.0
16503,everything is too hard for me life is so hard and difficult for me everything that i do i fail i give up when things are too difficult for my incompetent brain and body i really wish i was never born sometimes or that i could have a new life and be a completely different person i dont see how i can keep going in life like this i just play my favorite games and that is the only time i feel happy and can accomplish things i am so so sad insecure and heartbroken that ill always feel like this throughout life i sometimes even give up on things before i start them because i know that i am not smart enough or capable i really want to just disappear sometimes,3.0
16504,simonmagus you never need an excuse for a  long lunch in spain in fact i think theres a royal decree about it somewhere ,0.0
16505,imgettingcloser no fair they sell a lot of ca wine in oregon ,2.0
16506,i have a terrible hangover ,2.0
16507,worst day ever oh my god im stressing out ,2.0
16508,another day has passed and i havent seen up utterly disappointed i am ,2.0
16509,theannelis osuna is a terrible person  belongs nowhere near a field for a looong loong time sad that the astros traded  him,2.0
16510,dubais new airport expected to be the worlds largest delayed until june  sensible  httpviigoimltr,0.0
16511,rt unclits im a chill person with a lot of anxiety,2.0
16512,i was totally excited about getting something before the us ,2.0
16513,going to the beach for the annual newman beach week dont tell anyonei dont like the beach much    prefer mountain air and trees,2.0
16514, hahah daniel aww you cried thats a sign that i must see this movie lol ,0.0
16515, ah yeah robpattznews is always on top of this  love her,0.0
16516,elbiddulph ouch  you may be my mom but even i know that youre pretty techsavvy even more so than some people my age ,0.0
16517,whyyyyy so weve all be told that depression lies that negative thinking is a very common if not main symptombut like why though i understand theres a chemical issue in my brain even though im on meds but how does that chemical imbalance put fully formed thoughts in my headive been looking up everything a can and everything just says that negative thinking is a symptom but doesnt explain whyyyyy,3.0
16518,i just stood in pouring rain for  minutes and im soaked and i love it ,0.0
16519,i cant believe der is still no accptance of gay mrrge in this cntry i feel  seeing my neighbr w a child not gtting the sme benfit as me,2.0
16520,back to back meetings today interviewing junior marketing candidates for a client they said they want a mini me ,0.0
16521,had a great night but im sure a dog slept in my mouth last night ,2.0
16522,thank god for the answered prayers ,0.0
16523,i just reliazed that ive been sick on and off all yearit totally sucks big time ,2.0
16524,jjprojects surely theres more to complain about jj ,0.0
16525,im is shit keeps losing my tweets gonna stick w tweetie  now on the train to ampother boring sat at work ,2.0
16526,hey everybody have a great saturday because i will ,0.0
16527,puffaddering hey hows it goin can u let me no if u get this msg plz coz i think my twitter page is up the duff ,0.0
16528,im starting zoloft but feel hopeless ive been on a ssri before  years ago and while it helped somewhat it made me apathetic and more bored with life however it worked great paired with my old adhd meds i just feel so anxious and exhauted because i feel out of control and my psych wont prescribe adhd meds right now my ocd and depression has been getting worse so i just accepted zoloft but i feel like i wont be satisfied with zoloft and my psychiatrist is literally gonna get mad at me when she knows that,3.0
16529,good nighti dont like monday ,2.0
16530,noo ticketmaster is sold out of reserved parking for the jb show at izod poo  ,2.0
16531,goodmorning   i hate mondayzzz tt,2.0
16532,i hate being  steps back from anything i want to do in life oh you want to get a job sorry nobodys going to hire you unless you put your life on hold and go to therapyoh you want a relationship suck it loser not today get your ass to therapyoh you want to maintain your friendships hope theyre still around in a year to the doctors with youits just like i get it but i also have a life to get to and its starting right now today it doesnt seem worth all of the lost time and effort to eventually get to the same square one regular people are starting frommaybe theres something great waiting for me on the other side but its getting to the point where im not very interested in finding out,3.0
16533,i just dont know why i cant feel truly alive or happy ever ive been finding it harder to really find a reason to get up every morning im a  year old male high school senior it makes no sense to me really i should be fine i have a good mom i get three meals a day and other food when im hungry when theres people struggling and starving i get an education that others cant always get  my mom has a solid paying job so i get what i need and sometimes more its just all there for me yet i dont feel happy i do appreciate those things and dont get me wrong but the thing is i just struggle to find any motivation i used to love going to school and learning but then it got boring which put me in a bad place then i struggle to do homework now because i never had to focus much but instead it just piles up im still an a student and have a couple bs once in awhile but im not pushing myself because i should be taking harder classes but instead i just take basic ones its frustrating because i know i can excel when i actually try but i cant find it in me to give that effort for some reason  like i said i do fine but now i dont enjoy going to school and i dont find the joy in learning like i once did a huge thing for me right now is that i have no plan for my future either i literally have no clue what i want to do and it is stressing me out and i procrastinate on everything i have no friends to talk to either so i get through the day and sometimes work and when im not working or at school ill be with my dog or by myself playing video games and these are really the two things i look forward too i quit my other clubs and sports this year this post has no direction so im sorry and thanks if youve made it this far im just lost and it leads me to late nights like this i know its dumb to be up this late on a school night but i still do it because its just another case of me dreading the next day,3.0
16534,really sad what happened to those air france passengers  how does an air bus just vanish,2.0
16535,did i miss my chance does anybody else feel like they will never be able to experience the joy of certain big things in life like the path you took is too far astray i do about a lot of things like college marriage having a son a real relationship comfort lasting friendship trust sanity accomplishment,3.0
16536,mandyyjirouxx mandy  it wont let me vote  i want her to win but i cant help i am gonna jump off a bridge kidding but this sux,2.0
16537,wants to be outside amp not inside working ,2.0
16538,safe at home gots a yummy burger that i cant finish actually cant wait to work tomorrow so i can listen to new music ,0.0
16539,not feeling well and back hurts ,2.0
16540,off to bring christianeee home then to work ,0.0
16541,說 because i am not  quot small man quot  yesterday interview failed   ,2.0
16542,im alone and im tired of this here  introvert never fit into any kind of group living abroad in a new country with no friends or familythis country is being hit really hard by coronavirus its my  day in quarantineim used to stay at home i used to enjoy it but the more time i spent in here the worst if feel i dont even find video games as fun as they used to be im just not as productive working from home now and i used to i just think that if it wasnt for my parents videocall i wouldnt talk with anybody because as simple as it is no one gives a fuck about meim the kind of guy that no one hates but also no one loves the guy that is cool but not cool enough the nice or lifesaver guy that never gets invited anywhere im geek but not that geek im nerd but not that nerd i like to party but just a bit i just never fucking fit anywhere and its exhausting whenever somebody tries to get closer to me like more than a friendship i just push away that person it has happened just a few times but i do i convince myself with a stupid justification thats why ive never had a relationship i dont know how that feels like ive been living in  countries by now and its the same starting from scratch it doesnt seem to work for me right therapy how i dont know how to fucking take the first step the only time i tried something similar i was in college and the fucking therapist was useless i just expend lot of time and opened up for everythingim just afraid of pushing a bit too much afraid of reaching a breaking point and just ending it all it seems easier it seems like the right thing to do,3.0
16543,living in a painful limbo for years after failingquitting everything  please listen is anyone else  and living with their family without having a job money a significant other andor education that actually got onto track before and now is stuck forever in limbo after failing over and over before i get into that i do want to to provide a brief backstory on myself not going to go into super specifics because theres so much more to my life but id like to just give a shortened version im a  year old man living in ohio i used to be a bright child people thought id go places throughout elementary school all the way to junior year in high schoolwhere i stopped caring about everything and fell into a deep depression i dropped out senior year  said i wanted to do online schooling then never did a single assignment and then stopped that i could describe my childhood as bittersweet i come from a lowmiddle class suburban family i had a father that worked most of it and a mother that became a stay at home mother when i was about  who also suffered from depression i was physically abused by my father in spurts  throughout my young childhood years into preteens and my mother was not right mentally herself and mentally abused me by making me feel worthless about myself and destroying any semblance of humanity or self i had i was never myself just a puppet of sorts that did what she said i need to dosports hanging out with certain people etci was a big kid chubby tall and just all around large i got bullied relentlessly from elementary school until  gradewhere i got larger than a majority of the other boys i had a nana and a grandpa that i went to about every other week and those were the best times in my entire life i felt unconditionally loved there  like i mattered we didnt do much but i felt so safe and secure i could be myself and not be judged while feeling loved for the first time my grandpa was my best friend i was never as close to anyone as i was to him he passed away in  when i was  unexpectedly from a blood clot at  and from that point on it permanently destroyed a part of me that i dont think will ever be reclaimed he was my life as sad as that sounds  i quit my first job shortly after at kmarta couple years later in the midst of years of constant heated fighting and arguing with my mother in  i was arrested for domestic violence at  my mother lied about me threatening to kill her to remove me from the home we got to a point where we made each other break down from the fighting and constant attacking of each other through words two mentally ill sad lonely people taking out their pain on the other one i got off from the charge because she recanted her storyas she almost got into trouble for doing that i lived with my nana from january  to september   where i worked at my local hospital as a dietary aide i got onto antidepressants for the first time and went from  to  lbs as i moved up my job at the hospital i almost had my first girlfriend but pansied out in asking her to go out with me ill always regret that life was looking good  but not for long the meds stopped working as good as they did before i began to binge eat again i started gaining weight and having breakdowns i took a family medical leave from my job for  months and never returned i got myself an apartment and lived off my life savings alone there eating and doing drugs almost every single day i thought id be dead there in no time after a while my nana had to pay for all my expenses and she did that from january  to may  where i got another job at a bread factory i was on the up and up i started my job and began to exercisediet again  months later i abruptly leave the job after having a breakdown and i went home while contemplating suicide in my apartment in the middle of the day from june   december  i stayed at that apartment because my nana paid everything for me  i gained about  lbs and got into trouble with the law i drove drunk regularly and almost went head on into another car after contemplating suicide id drink alcohol in the middle of my local grocery and leave blackout drunk i was off meds for almost a year finally from january  until this day ive been at my nanas house i havent had long term job only a  month stint at taco bell where i met people that turned me into an addict for that time as i quit and they moved on ive gained approximately  lbs since i was at my lowest at   lbs im now at least  im being enabled to just exist  i eat and play video games all day everyday to just numb myself i help my nana during the summer weekends at a flea market but thats all i do involving work im on  different meds now and it just allows me to simply function and not lay in bed all day crying and shaking im watching everything and everyone move on without me people i knew from school are getting married and some are even having kids while ive never had a girlfriend or even kissed for that matter obviously a virgin i only have one friend and his name is spiros  a truly great friend who stuck with me through everything my mother got medicated a couple years ago and we have a real relationship now i got over to spend the night at my parents house every weekend and we hang out everyone just simplyaccepts this is who i am  the bipolar crazy guy who is unstable and severely depressed every day is the same thing  eat myself until im physically sick and stuff my face in front of my tv or my phone all day until im tired around  am i get up at around  im living in a prison it seems im trapped and yet i just dont care anymore ive lost all ambition all motivation all reason to go out and better myself im a complete failure and its only a matter of time before my nana dies and i move back into my parents or kill myself its limbo a place where time stays still for me yet moves at normal pace for everyone else time is so unforgiving and it doesnt care about you or your life  it keeps moving forward so im now a  year old  man with a recording hairline starting and ive never really experienced real happiness ive never been in love never had sex and never went to college i feel like an old man thats seen it all yet never actually experienced anything im gonna be dead before im  im even lucky to make it that far i have no ambition to move forward but its still saddening and absolutely heartbreaking to see everything keep moving on without me watching my family age watching my cousins grow up and start their futures watching my sister go through her worst period in her life and now shes successful with a job and her own place my dad is second in command of his entire workplace im just here rotting as i age and get fatter and fatter i want more but i just dont know what to do thank you for listening i dont know what exactly im trying to accomplish here but i just needed to vent to anyone that would listen to my sob story thank you,3.0
16544,teenyr oh right havent listened to him since he was scott mills spot on radio  lol  showin age nowlol,0.0
16545,whoa dont know why my neck and shoulders are so dang sore this morning ,2.0
16546,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
16547,tytygotyoback its on ,2.0
16548,has had anxiety for a good part of today still feelin it now even though im home from work  i need to find a new job soon,2.0
16549,add me ,0.0
16550,i gotta be at work by  its  i cant sleep worth shit my anxiety has been at a high lately today is gonna be a rough one at work,1.0
16551, yeahhhh i watch all my disney channel episodes there australia disney channel is soooo far behind ,2.0
16552,flowers check cologne check candles check date crap bottle of lotion check its going to be a good night ,0.0
16553,mijavera yes excited  ive never had one before and everyone else does i feel so left out  lol,2.0
16554,ethicalsoap thanks will do and you have a fantastic day today and every day from now on ,0.0
16555,lunchlunchlunch fried chicken  remodeled my rc restaurant  expensive though gtlt,0.0
16556,at the house of blues in anaheim watching we are the arsenal love these dudes to pieces  check out their music,0.0
16557,im really excited for some reason but i feel completely il  i need to do maths amp english homework wish me luccck ,2.0
16558,doingmedia txconflictcoach yup i was hoping to see the deadpool ending  ,2.0
16559,xoxlionessxox awesome with you too hon we have to do it again soon  it was charming meeting you,0.0
16560,im watching this tlc show halfton dad makes me never want to eat again poor baby devours  calories a day ,2.0
16561,i dont want rudy to die oh my god i am going to cry why did death say that was going to happen ,2.0
16562,alliewayfilms its true and about dreams and money and it all  like the genie ask and you will receive ,0.0
16563,boooo monday ,2.0
16564,off from work so hi all ive been off from work for over a week now it started with my anxiety flaring up over getting on trains during rush hour and now because its been my only way in trying out a bus route later this week with my dad ive been stuck at home with my depression rearing its ugly head again  today has been a pretty bad day havent left my bed not even wanted to game just slept endlessly just came here to talk to others who are having the same thing or similar things happen to them ,3.0
16565,wisdom tooth is pissing me off to the max but im scared to get it taken out ,2.0
16566,krowt i would come and see me ,0.0
16567,my life feels jumbled up ,2.0
16568,just witnessed a really bad car accident  omgsh i hope these people are okay ,2.0
16569,im sad that i wouldnt be seeing my teachersampfriends again ,2.0
16570,finally a graduate fuck yeah ,0.0
16571,oh no im having coffee withdrawals ,2.0
16572,feeling ok only when not alone im  months into recovering from a breakup that really rocked my world despite the relationship having been pretty crappy and relatively short less than a year im at the point now where when im interacting with other people i feel totally fine almost completely back to normal but the second im left alone my mood drops i start to ruminate on the ex and feelings of being unlovable and i lose my ability to focus on anything its especially bad in the mornings when i first wake up usually easing by midday i work from home so that doesnt help either as i have many hours to myselfim in therapy i had a friend move in this past week i work from a coffee shop for a couple hours a day and im at about week  of  of prozac just to take the edge off but i still cant seem to shake the despair im gone every weekend the  time i notice the breakup the most and i do something social almost every night tooany other suggestions for how to get through being alone,3.0
16573,why mental health matters in the workplace a supplymybiz jemmafairhay bbunker blog  httpstcojvmhbvsyww,2.0
16574,had a great weekend   our yard looks awesome now time to paint ,2.0
16575,its all for nothing anyways  was a garbage year for me and  wont be any better the irony is that all of this suffering and mental anguish is all for nothing since we all just end up  under in the end i wont ever take myself out of this miserable existence but i think about it often,3.0
16576,u could care less for life  huh when u see my bllod all over the news then will u believe i wasnt lieing u crazy twitter ,2.0
16577,my thoughts just listen my cause of death will always be suicide unless someone kills me i want to achieve small goals and kill my self after as punishment for trying,3.0
16578,peterfacinelli good morning  i tried helping the count but i cant make  profiles  id run out of user names fast  sorry ,2.0
16579,hair salon doing the pelo w minime  then nails,0.0
16580,was so sad that i felt nauseous 🙃,1.0
16581,loving the rain ,0.0
16582,deliaheartsyou i hope so la but its not confirmed sadly ,2.0
16583,eating a churro while i look at my mail ,0.0
16584,alllizzz no one violence is not the answer hands are for helping not hurting ,2.0
16585,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
16586,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
16587,therapy via skype  skype therapy for overcoming anxiety   ,0.0
16588,saw wolverine today need to see land of the lost but kathy coleman is not in it ,2.0
16589,rt oraltwjnk depression ,2.0
16590,you ever miss that one friend so much that you think about all your memories and the stuff you did and it makes you ,1.0
16591,oh lord finished with the bathroom now on to the kitchen  sore all over,2.0
16592,rt heroghosts for some reason ive been getting a lot of anxiety about posting art and sketches starting back with some simpl ,1.0
16593,my sister told me i remind her of jonah hill so any way you look  it fml basically ,2.0
16594,imrandy i knew id regret not buying the dvds of her show last night at half price books ,2.0
16595,had  try sending a tweet from my phone ,0.0
16596,the hole in my chest is getting bigger and bigger ive been trying to stop it trying to make changes the more i try to fill up the hole the faster it grows it hurts it is as if i have a rock in my chest or maybe my heart turned to stone or maybe theres nothing in there anymore i feel alone despite being around peoplethe food i eat always tastes the samei have lost that fire for my passioni randomly cry when i eat food without regards to whether i like the food or noti dont feel anythingbut the only thing i can hold on thats still left within me is the thought of losing my mother there is nothing that fills the hole and i wonder how long i can keep this up but as long as i can i will continue to live for my mother my dearest mother i wish i could do more i wish im not such a disappointment people may abandon me friends might forget about me but you were always there for mei hope you get better i hope you can live a better life but i dont know how far i can go with this hole in my chest but as long as i can still move i will do it for you so long as i still have the purpose of my existence i will stay but the hole in my chest keeps getting bigger and bigger i may not be around as you thought i will be,3.0
16597,tiffpanda well i went to ocean park but told my rents i had dinner and then i was  mins past my curfew ,2.0
16598,oregon is giving me anxiety,2.0
16599,time to go to work again got an eye appointment ln a couple hours    ill get online eventually probably when  i get to work,2.0
16600, hiya  just read you were looking for new music suggestions secondhand serenade are a good acoustic band,0.0
16601,i could swear im looking at zach galifinakis right now im gona ask him how he manages to grow a full beard  pubertyfail,2.0
16602,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
16603,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someo ,1.0
16604,rt hoseokolen i know ssc has honed my stresstolerance skill but senior high says bitch u thought,1.0
16605,has a busy week ahead and is already so tired ,2.0
16606,fuck im really bad with words so ill make this short ive been in a relationship for about two months and there hasnt been a single week without any drama and tears every single week i have been reminded that im useless sometimes all i can feel is envy towards everyone i envy everything even negetive things or feelings because i honestly think that there is nobody like me i believe that suicide will be my only way out of this mess thinking about the reaction that i would get if i actually commited suicide gives me a rush of adrenalin but i havent even lived that long fuck i think im going to do it on my  birthday fuck,3.0
16607,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
16608,how to help suicidal partner in a long distance relationship she  lives with her family that has been abusing her emotionally and verbally and she cant move out because she is by default the one that takes care of her mom  she has cuts on her wrists but not really to end her life but just to feel the pain to get distracted from it i  am in a relationship with her for almost  years and we were happyuntil she was forced by her brothers to work at the same company as them the job she truly hates and is now on probationary period she cant leave the company until her  months evaluation is done since then we never had a week without dealing her suicidal thoughts she has been asking me to leave her and i fucking know that it is just her depression talking so i insist on saying no her sadness makes her say mean things and sometimes i am okay with it pushing all my effort not to sink it all in because i have my own tendencies too but i get deeply sad also and i have my own history of depression and self harm i kept asking her to seek medical help but she wont get any says nothing will help her anymore the worst thing is i only know about this situation because she doesnt trust people enough to ask for help she doesnt consider people as friends her trust issues with friendship is off the charts especially her family i dont want to lose her but i am sure enough that i am also spiralling down with her too said i was the only one keeping her alive and been a hindrance to her suicide plans ever since i dont want her to die and to feel guilty of leaving her at her worst i dont want to die but i cant help those thoughts of suicide help,3.0
16609,masscontrolkern hi frank what kind of a web design are we talking about i am not local but sure interested  just retweeted you,0.0
16610,why do sundays always suck sunday is a day for inactivity which invariably puts me in the awkward position of having to suss out the things i find meaningful in life without my copesdistractions to save me from spiraling down into ennui  feeling like theres nothing of substance to be donei have no friends with whom i feel attachedtheres this  that i cant seem to shake desperately yearning for deep human connection while holding onto the conviction that everyone i encounter is ultimately not worth my time or energy usually because we dont have anything to offer each otheri see the sickness in that pattern of thinkingoccasionally that evercommon fantasy of some new and beautiful person suddenly appearing in my life to teach me why its all worthwhile rears up to take center stage in my brain until i become sick of everything that doesnt fulfill that fantasybut obviously theres nothing wrong with conjuring a magic solution for getting your basic emotional needs met thats a normal response to a poor situationwith every successive disappointment eventually you lose all faith in the worlds ability to put forward anyone that will bring you joy eventually you stop believing in happiness altogetherhowever when everything is displeasing to you i think its best to look inwardin doing so i find that i feel bored depressed and disconnected these feelings are always lurking beneath the surfaceam i meant to make peace with that factwhen you feel that youve exhausted all avenues what else is there to do but sit quietly and see how things turn out until they dontanger in futility is simply a recipe for despair,3.0
16611,tikshi okay now ur set ,0.0
16612,is about to go to sleep cuz i have to get up early to sing at church ,0.0
16613,ianmonkphoto ill be fine just got a bad dose of the cold ,2.0
16614,teresakopec on one being meaner not true at all i think its equal and depends on whats going on unfortunatelywomen r easier targets ,2.0
16615,am i depressed i really dont know how to even start this  i am currently  about a year and a half ago my life started going down hill  my close friends stopped talking to me and went about their lives  i got into drugs around this time and as of now im either drunk or high everyday i dropped out of college and im working a shitty job making minimum wage  i dont want to say im depressed because im not sure if i actually am over the past  months ive lost interest in everything i currently have no hobbies  i wake up go to work get high sleep and repeat  ive tried to talk to my parents about how i feel and they always brush it off as me just being stupid or tired  the only other person i feel like i can talk to is my best only friend but im worried if i talk about all the shot that ive done they will think of me differently or just stop talking to me if i lose this person in my life i dont know what i would do ive reached the point where i dont even see my friend in person anymore because i always feel like she is too good to hang out with me and i just fell dumb i often think about killing my self but ive never been able to comment because im a fucking pussy when i started high school i had problems with self harm  i believe it has a lot to do with me hating who i am because of this i am never myself infront of other people because im worried what they will think  i have reached the point where i have no more self confidence and no motivation to do anything i have no drive to even work or make money because in my mind im not going to need it later i guess i just fell like im stuck i wake up every morning feeling like absolute shit i often stay up all night crying because im a pathetic little bitch  i dont know who to reach out to im worried that one day i will do something dumb  im not looking for attention with this post i just want to know if anymore has experienced something similar ,3.0
16616,i hate the wagga cinema it is gay stupid cinema removing that movie from the website therefore crushing all my dreams of seeing it ,2.0
16617,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
16618,rt jccapeditor jeremy karp  decedents family who were alerted  times of remains were at risk for depression and ptsd ,2.0
16619,snarglepip uhhhh gawd im officially broke  when will i be seein yah again ur jettin of this weekend yesh,2.0
16620,i dont want to be awake ,2.0
16621,very tired just home from work ,0.0
16622,dont know what to do or how to feel so i started writing this post because i just dont know what to do with my feelings i feel sad and uncontrollably paralyzed i just lost my job and i have a gf outside my country that i havent seen in the  years we are talking the worst of all is that i am also talking to my ex of  years back and since she ended the relationship i dont have anybody to talk to she is like the most girls i talk to uninterested and only reacts i feel like i am alone in the world and think about suicide every day i would never kill myself as i am too interested in the rest of my life  but its like its getting harder every day i feel like a failure in love live and self managment i keep helping others and i havent had money to do something i like in ages im  now almost  i have accomplished nothin in life and im afraid i will never accomplish anything would be sweet to talk someone but i dont really expect it why would anybody care,3.0
16623,rt cyphrkv will i ever be able to read a part of an au in which they cuddle without feeling like a sad lonely hedgehog after stay tuned t,1.0
16624,larryblamire   just tweet slowlyslowly remember im a blonde ,0.0
16625,exhausted and i dont like it   i want a vacation please,2.0
16626,caliguy aw thank you you too jesse ,0.0
16627,rt mattdigs its called mental health awareness month its in may and you should probably aware of the mental illness that you ,1.0
16628,good morning twitter  isnt lovely out  im gonna be couped up in library the whole day ,2.0
16629,good morning twitterverse   hope everyone is doing well im feeling good today hugs,0.0
16630, epicdietfail lol how are you this morning ,0.0
16631,i just dont want niley back toguether ,2.0
16632,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
16633,first night of summer and im bored out of my mind ,2.0
16634,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16635,has a headache  ,2.0
16636,sore arm from crash is slowing me down today ,2.0
16637,kaatieox saaaaaame  uuuugh turns back the clock to a time when olis hair was ruffable  xo,2.0
16638,seanmarler only when its done right  hehehe,0.0
16639,does anyone want to write their heart out or at least share a snippet of your life c,3.0
16640,lets see i have  points and need  just to get a c so i need  on the final when i got  on the midterm help ,2.0
16641, i just had lunch and now i am hungry againblueberry pie yummmmm ,0.0
16642,it is raining ,2.0
16643,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16644,twitter fam i just woke up im wide awake cant go back to sleep ,2.0
16645,i havent heard anything about him in years  why did he break up with you,2.0
16646,omg i want to cry  the cat has bloody fleas x,2.0
16647,uk  whats a good phone line to call when you are so depressed you feel close to suicidal thoughts but arent actually there yet not the samaritans my psychiatrist mentioned a mental health matters number which is supposed to be helpful but i dont have it,3.0
16648,struggling to understand depression hello alli guess my backstory is that about two years ago i noticed my moods slightly worsen then i did a street drug and fell into a  month long severe anxietydepression cycle i didnt take antidepressants and only did cbt which i myself hindered by not really commiting etc things were going great for the majority of the year and a half after that lots of anxiety and minimal depression but was loving my life and thought i was on the mend actually i didnt even consider that i had depression i just thought i had severe anxiety so anyways fastforward to about a week ago and i notice that i literally can not sit in class without a major urge to cry racing negative thoughts and just an overall feeling of bleh thought it was a blip but now it is accompanied by severe anxiety again and i feel like i am back at that place where i started planning to get cbt again and really commit and change my lifestylebut my main point of worry and question and desperation is the fact that wont i really be able to live a happy lifedepression is chronic and recurrent i cant stop thinking about the fact that even if i get better it is all going to come tumbling down again what is the point i am never going to be able to live a life like normal people how should i stay hopeful of recovery when i know i am going to relapse soon anyways thank you ,3.0
16649,roseanne barr on her valerie jarrett tweet i was so sad that people thought it was racist  ,2.0
16650, someone has been having a secret laugh at me  decided i was right in the first place  boys are dumb  ,2.0
16651,work is overtime  watch the lakers go  ,0.0
16652,i will always remember him my cousin died at the age of  she drowned her boyfriend was with her on the shore she went with another friend with a boat on the lake its a big lake here in my hometownlots of people drowned there on one side of the shore there are many crosses in memory of them i was coming back from a  school trip on day this happened my parents were shattered they didnt tell me what was happening i only later found out a team searched for her body for days imagine what was going through everyones mind imagine knowing that your child died while you were watching tv or reading or cooking imagine seeing your friendgirlfriend die and not being able to do anything other than watch them helplessly the friend fleed right after that happened she didnt even show up at the funeral on the other hand he did but he was on something often changing moods seeming unaffected at times crying sometimes and other times even laughing why i still ask myself why did he just not care i dont think so was he just too shocked to realise the magnitude of the situation did he just do that in an attempt to suppress his emotions everyone blamed what happened on him he was depressed before he met her his parents didnt even care about him enough to pay him therapy he was such a kind person among the kindest people i know til this day i still remember spending time with him and my cousin listening to music i remember how nice he was to me and to everyone despite everything that was going through in his life i will always remember him the death of my cousin didnt affect me i had the mind of a stupid child maybe it was the shock maybe it was the innocence it just seemed to me like something that just happens in life i didnt overthink it i barely thought about it at the time actually it just happened and that was about it i forgot about her boyfriend her friend her years later i saw him in a bus station i went out of my way just to see what he was up to he was the friendliest person i knew he told me i reminded him of her he seemed happy maybe he was just on drugs again i met him about  times in  years all  in just a few months  he was so nice and kind and warmheartedi was distant and cold  years after the incident he took his own life  years he never actually got over her he tried and never successfully did it he had that same scenario playing over and over in his head for  years imagine knowing that you could change somethingbut you just werent able to imagine the frustration just try to imagine what he was going through every single day of his life for those stupid  years today and every single day i feel frustrated too i could do something if i had tried more i could help him i could try to reach to him i had his phone number in my phone and i never reached out i could help him and i didnt and i think about him everyday everyday i feel like i can still change something sometimes i reach out to my phone with the thought of calling him or sending him a text he is dead i cant change anything anymore im thinking about him every single day i cant believe there is nothing i can do anymore i dont want to believe but there really isnt i cant do anything anymore he is dead and this is the only thing that matters now even now as i am typing this i still feel like i could talk to him and try to help but i just cant its killing meplease please please reach out to those who you know are in pain even a simple how are you can help please dont let this happen again i am here for anyone who needs someone to talk to thank you for reading this,3.0
16653,cant sleep too warm ,2.0
16654,well up for gym and swim this morning too bad i have no kit yet ,2.0
16655,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
16656,rt incorrectloki a lesbian thor why are you crying who hurt youlesbian its just the onionsthor  im the pr,1.0
16657,thehillybilly yes we shall cry in pain amp at that time mr wikky will hate me so much ,2.0
16658,im tired but sleep cant fix this dear me when was the last time you were truly undividedly wholly happy do you remember i remember being happy before i learned just how cruel people can be including those who claim to love you what is love when did i stop seeing it the way i used to does that translate to no longer feeling it do i feel loveor is it anger ugly bitter anxiety and the deepest darkest lows my mind can conjure upim about to take out a loan for a car i have two jobs i have an apartment with the person who hurt me and loves me and is trying to change and i cant feel anything but tired sometimes i wonder what it would be like to break open one of those shitty box cutters and not stop until im drained sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just step out into north main during my walk home from work sometimes i wonder what he would do would he mourn would he miss me would he finally realize that he had a hand in ruining me that ive been in a pit with no light at the end only false fireflies that go out as soon as i come close to them i so desperately want things to be better i want him to be telling the truth i want him to change i want to change i want to be better but it feels like a losing battle diving headfirst into a tsunami trying to put out a wildfire with a garden hose i want that light back how can i reconcile that how can i desire light in my life from the same person who put darkness there to begin withwow i am so sorry evidently i needed to vent,3.0
16659,my birthdays soon well next month and ive to find something i want  i really dk  if i could id get plane tickets to washington state,2.0
16660,rockin the lab if only my laptop wasnt riddled with disease ,2.0
16661,from the outside looking in hope when i was younger i was depressed however people helped me out of it i know thats not the best wording but ive been scrolling through this sub reddit for about  minutes and i see all of the hopelessness which makes me feel extremely sad i think one of the best ways to combat depression is to talk through things and at the same time i am curious as to how you guys have lost that hope hope is the essence of humanity and when a human loses hope that is when they tend to sink into depression when i was depressed i was depressed because i didnt see a future for myself i didnt have friends i was in a household where i didnt make many choices for myself so in turn i lost the thing that drives humanity forward hope in the next years i began to make friends and they helped me escape my depression by giving me the thing i needed hope for a future long story short i was ripped away from those friends and i nearly lost it but somehow i kept on chugging along pouring my live into at the time my very few interests anyways i would like to hear some of your stories of when you began to lose that hope and i hope i can maybe help you regain that hope,3.0
16662,today my psych doc said hes getting more patients with increased anxietydread why a clue it begins with trump and ends with an asshole,1.0
16663,nidiamazing shes one month today actually ,0.0
16664, what kind of work do you do i watch your yt videos which i love and im just curious ,0.0
16665,destanigroup thanks for the link to fastpitch ,0.0
16666,well i was licking the side of this hot chick  how cool am i check out my myspace page for proof,2.0
16667,dannygokey hey danny the pic of your glasses is not showing up my guess is the pic was  big pics need to be  k or smaller night ,0.0
16668,doh i forgot my lunch ,2.0
16669,i miss my fucking mom ive never actually been diagnosed with depression and although my birth control makes me moody im generally a happy and successful person but ive been having a really really rough few weeks and ive been crying for a while now and i just felt like i needed to rant somewhere ill prolly delete this in the morningim  and spend most of my time with my mom but my dad has weekends for whatever reason its only friday and i just go to my dads this evening its about  now but i miss my mom so much im crying in the same way i used to when she would get home from work late when i was like  i feel really stupid cause im so old and all and ill see her sunday night but i cant get the thought out of my mind that something really bad happened to her im listening to old songs she really likes and stuff  its almost as if im mourning but she must be fine,3.0
16670,got the unlimited  paid the lady  i still owe her  im missing a  ,0.0
16671, yes and it was amazing im missing out today though  i have to do  finals,2.0
16672,uploading while olivia is downloading  haha,0.0
16673,to everyone happy new year making my first post here because this goddamned holiday makes me feel like im being sucked into a eternal pit of quicksand hope youre all well and if youre crying dont worry im crying with you,3.0
16674,its times like these special occasions where i wish everyone i love will be there i wish i could see my best friend i miss her a lot ,2.0
16675,im on my way back to my carmechanic amp if this doesnt go as hoped ill be paying for a new computer chip  fingers crossed fb,2.0
16676,what if living just isnt the right fit for me i havent had it particularly easy but i guess compared to others it hasnt been that bad although i dont like doing that anyway i dont think ive ever really been happy i was close recently and then things got worse but i kept hanging in there and now theyre even worse like really really bad i think my life has some sort of sick eternal recurrence going on where any time i try to coast by and comfortably enjoy myself im immediately met with failureum okay what am i trying to say im trying to be happy i have things that i like and value hobbies and passions too i consider myself to be someone of value to the world around me but i dont think the world recognizes me as such im not a superstitious or religious person by any means but it genuinely feels like this plane of existence is never going to give way and allow me to exists peacefully i dont know what im doing anymore im almost completely directionless and ive all but given upis it possible that all of this just simply is not for me ya know some people like sweet tea some people dont maybe i just dont fuckin like living some people have a lot of fun at amusement parks some people throw up and get anxiety ya know what if this just isnt for me and i should just get out while i can because its a fucking joke to think its going to get any bettercan anyone relate,3.0
16677,rt nokskhanyile depression is such a cruel punishmentthere are no fevers no rashes no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern,1.0
16678,natalietran youtube iphone fail   ,2.0
16679,i feel bad for begging for rain and then i dont im at the visitor center today stop by ,0.0
16680,running late as usual ,0.0
16681,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
16682,the robsten acceptance of best kiss was kind of a letdown ,2.0
16683,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16684,europeanbandit let ur friend thats moving to ldn to follow us to get most out of netwrking among ldn expats wer here to help cheers ,0.0
16685, will b a wonderful day  wish her good lucknd nitecozz i need  sleepb happyb healthyb safe amp party n style xox britt,0.0
16686,  i saw i read now i commentgreat chappy ,0.0
16687,ijustine thats alright for some to get a huge discount i want an iphone ,2.0
16688,i broke down today and asked for help ive never been one to ask for help with anything usually i feel guilty for it or like im ruining someone elses day if i do i recently started this night shift job but the stress has been more than ive ever experienced i feel like im doing the work of two or three people and its almost impossible to keep up with it my depression has been creeping up this past year too and after trying and failing to take care of a sick parent my passive suicidal thoughts have become more and more frequent funny thing is i started counseling and had my antidepressant dose kicked up a couple months ago but with little improvement last night was really difficult and after making some mistakes the self loathing and hatred seemed to turn up that voice in my head telling me to kill myself i started to make plans to kill myself maybe trace my veins in the tub or go buy a gun for a rainy day i have one person left in my life who cares enough to check on me and her urging got me to reach out first i called the suicide prevention line and they helped me make plans for the day to keep myself distracted and away from anything dangerous to myself next i built up the courage to call my supervisor to ask for some time off i tried to be as honest as possible so she knew exactly what was going on with me and thankfully she was very understanding i reached out to my regular counselor who recommended i call a nearby pysch hospital to set up an assessmenti know im lucky to have these resources and i wish i could swap my life with someone else who needs it more i just dont see myself as worthy or deserving of all of this but i guess thats part of my problem tooi might be going in for an inpatient stay or a partial hospitalization program if i can swing it either way today i snapped on the inside and thankfully there was someone to there to reach out to im kinda worried about going but i know if i keep doing nothing then next time i will kill myselfi hope we can all get the help we need and i hope i can conquer these demonsstay safe folks and sorry for the ramble,3.0
16689,starlightsergio look at the bright side you have a really good fml  and will probably not get rejected by them again ,0.0
16690,i want to disappear and no one ever findhear from me again this is the first time that i have put my thoughts into words i dont know why i though that this was a good place to do so but its whatever at this point ever since i was in middle school i had fallen in a weird entrancement with the idea of disappearing from the little bubble that is my life i have never been suicidal my excuse is that i am jokingly too narcissistic to off myself however whenever i become overwhelmed with life in some way i immediately turn to this fantasy the idea of just leaving my world sounds so good all the time i am constantly looking for little ways to emulate the fantasy but nothing seems to really meet it i go to school out of state to get away from family i read and play video games to escape my reality at school i have become transfixed on the idea of leaving everyone and everything that i have ever known behind i love the idea of people thinking of me and wondering if i am ok in my real life i am generally have peace but everyday there is a thick layer of melancholy that is just waiting to overwhelm me it feels like everyday i have to carve a boat out of ice and hope that i can sail it across a river of boiling lava with each shore being the moment i wake up to the moment i go to bed my thoughts burn in my head i have stressed myself enough to the point that i have lost my vision for a few minutes and nearly fainted in my head escaping and never returning would allow me to leave my demons in my old world and i would be completely free from them i look at movies like the martian and castaway and dream of the experiences back when the whole myth that nasa was sending people to mars to start a colony and never return i dreamed of the fantasy of being on the crew i dont want to simply take a break i want to completely dissolve the life i livei dont know if this even counts as depression to be honest i have talked myself out of thinking i need help many times i tell myself you are experiencing normal stressors so just handle your business i never share my real thoughts with anyone i have been judged dismissed and told off for feeling the way that i do i find that it is easier to just put on a smile and be the loving kind softspoken person people want me to bebut every once in a while i hear the voice inside calling me and i go to the corner of my mind where i am living this dream i am on a remote island enjoying nothing but the wind and the sea there i have no friends family school work or fun i just sit down and watch the world move without me in it but unlike suicide i am still present to take it all in without being a part of itif you read all of this thank you for your time any comments or advice is appreciated,3.0
16691, idk how the hell u gonna get up in the morninnight ,0.0
16692,not wanting to go to school tommarrow ,0.0
16693,  i know im late but thanks hun i really appreciate it ,0.0
16694,this is a lovely day to started with doing nothing ,0.0
16695,bkii oh myyy it worked  thank you your a genius xd,0.0
16696,bellabeast dont you dare tell me to quotshut the fuck upquot logan just wait until youre sleepin for shure ,0.0
16697,ktmarketing get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
16698,brapbrapjakeere oh my dayz i wonna go up there n find her but ill probz just get lost my selff  aah,2.0
16699,meeting with psych tomorrow what should i expect hi allthis past week i finally bit the bullet and called the student counseling services at my college campus i went in for a triage evaluation and after that apparently i was flagged as in a crisis and was required to come back same day during the second meeting i scheduled an intake therapy session and she set me and appointment with a nurse practitioner for medications she said she strongly encouraged me to try antianxiety meds and antidepressants can anyway ease my mind on what to expect thanks,3.0
16700,slowly forgetting what its like to feel happy every day that passes the memories of times i was truly happy and excited about life are dwindling and the feelings associate becoming more distant i feel as though im leaving my happiness in the past like an old toy or tv show the past is fruitful beautiful and hopelessly hopelessly unobtainable the present is harsh and bitter and the future is decay and suffering my reasons for continuing my existence are increasingly fleeting and mostly drowned out by a deep and complete sense of hopelessness and despair im going to carry on anyway you only get one life so you may as well stick around to see if things can get better but ive accepted that my happiness is behind me and the road ahead will not be an experience id choose to live again,3.0
16701,so gonna watch ggs season  finale episode im gonna miss gossip girl for two months lol ,0.0
16702,unfortunately i have no coffee beans at the moment so ive had to settle with costa ,2.0
16703,most people are kept awake at night by shame and anxiety but i am kept awake by the duolingo owl,2.0
16704,i dropped a can of green beans on my foot   ow good night everybody ,0.0
16705,good birthday  i love you all ,0.0
16706, i never thought you both were mad at each other ashley  you just needed your own post so that mk didnt do all the talk ,0.0
16707,pikachou how do you have so many followers  i want more,2.0
16708,getting out of bed currently sitting up havent gotten out of bed yet i dont even know why im posting this i just feel like im screaming on the inside i just want to be normal,3.0
16709,im the definition of a loser im  years old and im an absolute loser ive spent the last  years of my life doing nothing useful i dropped out of college because i was depressed and borderline suicidal i dont have a job i certainly dont have a girlfriend i live with my parents i dont even have a car i just exist and i dont even know for who sometimes im so lonely all the time ive had plenty of chances with girls i really liked but i ruined it in spectacular fashion every single time the farthest ive ever gotten was making out with a girl in my bed because im too much of a dumbass to realize she wanted to have sex with me ive been beating myself up for that for the last  months every time i think of it i have to start thinking about something else or i get pissed off along with that no girl has ever been in love with me i cant be blame them my personality is dog shit im only  im not very interesting at all and i dont even have a car i look in the mirror and i feel like i look really good  but when i go outside or hang out with friends i always just feel inferior and like shit everything i do in life puts me  step forward and  steps backwards i really dont want to do this anymore youll say im young and things will change but how am i supposed to keep on going feeling this way i dont even cry anymore i cant even describe how lonely i feel all the time and how much i just want to be in love with someone ,3.0
16710,marygenevieve you are so kind to make your famous and delicious chicken enchiladas for kk i wish i was there for the ono grinds ,0.0
16711,my mom cleaned a lot of my room which i appreciate but she also rearranged a lot of it that i didnt want moved  i feel bad moving it back,2.0
16712,my mom found my drivers license in the washer  i guess it a good news ,0.0
16713,i seem to have been attacked a lot and lost lots of cash   spymaster going to work soon,2.0
16714,tomraines i think twitter is going down for a few hours in  minutes ,2.0
16715,rt  if you define  getting help as being turned away then yes canadian youth are getting help ,0.0
16716, i agree  i could go for some blueberry pancakes but i am very tired and still have to work tomorrow ,2.0
16717,toryfibs inspgadgetblogs when she talks about the excellent team she has around herdoes she mean a mental heal ,1.0
16718,ready to leave but cloudy weather for tomorrow  httppostlyszw,2.0
16719,off to play softball what league schedules  am games ,0.0
16720,lyssiecc i love you and all of your fascinating twitters  ohi read more of new moon for the billionth time but its so good  study ,2.0
16721,woke up at  why am i up so early ,2.0
16722,i hate this day ,2.0
16723,mmmm melon yummy ,0.0
16724,lastyearsgirl sounds like a proper monday  poor you,2.0
16725, i severely grind my teeth at night out of anxiety to the point where my jaw dislocates amp i need a mouth guard but i dont have one xd,2.0
16726,eaten too much haribo major sugar related head acheoh the come down is terrible ,2.0
16727,cigarettelitrob youre telling me cant wait to see where i end up once i finish school ,0.0
16728,the blackberryys still on the fritts  it turns on but the buttons dont work,2.0
16729,blasted love story on the freeway on the way home  now watching desperate housewives,0.0
16730,good morning everyone ,0.0
16731,mitchelmusso i called you too just you dont pick up i think i deserve a shoutout ,2.0
16732,ellashtein okiee dokie and yessum i will be fine doot da doo lifes good  sleep well ily xxx,0.0
16733,mycelt cant say i do ,2.0
16734,pariahlayne i recommend you start watching whose line clips on yt and just keep going i have depression too it httpstcobyashsyvwg,1.0
16735,dannymasterson  hmmm no but if you find someone to make it i will watch it too ,0.0
16736,michmahoney we havent got our other bunny neutered yet and we dont have another hutch ,2.0
16737,i dont know if im depressed i hurt a lot sometimes and then its kind of like dull throbbing there throughout every day its not physical just makes me feel weak and done with everything sometimes i think « what if im just subconsciously doing this for attention » or « i could just be sad today » to be honest i have no idea whats wrong i can be really happy but once im all alone my whole body drains  im only  im confused ,3.0
16738,help i cant feel anything physical anymore i no longer care about anything anymore things that used to matter are fading and i keep questioning my worth and why im still breathing considering i have no future or potential,3.0
16739,enjoyed that now for sunday dinner ,0.0
16740,brianownsu hey r you getting my message on ur inbox  i thought u were following mejejeje have a good wknd late,0.0
16741,somebody help me i have a query a long time ago i have been distancing myself from people i consider myself a loner my whole life was like that but i have problems with my family and it is not by whims and already i am tired of the  kind of people who are and can not stand it anymore and well now i am even more alone at the moment i think i have even improved but i would like to know if this can affect my mood in some way psdt i go to the psychiatrist for a disorder called  borderline,3.0
16742,idaft syrinpt you ladies are definitely convincing me to buy the bsg albums ,0.0
16743,just back from the vet  anabelle on antibiotics and more steroids  will get her blood work back tomorrow  ,2.0
16744,rt brittxtc i will forever hate having anxiety this feeling in my chest and my heart beating this fast nonstop is frustrating,1.0
16745,this real depression hours who tf up smash that mf like button,1.0
16746, όλα θα γίνουν in good time ,0.0
16747,im so alone i feel so alone every stabbed me in my back noone trusts me because they strongly believe i will turn out like my drug addict mother i have no shoulder to cry on noone to ask for help i have no friends no family noone noone would of cared if i died i even left for  without telling anyone to see if someone would even look for me and nothing  i dont deserve to live life dont want me to be happy im better off gone,3.0
16748,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
16749,amazondotjon love em  youve got great taste,0.0
16750, hey missin ya tonite maybe we will cross when i am waking up in  hours ,0.0
16751,hyfen ug i know  shazow did it so i thought id sign up but alas its just spam in disguise and no way to unsignup ,2.0
16752,rt madiitiice i love you phil im so proud of you amp how far youve come ❤️❤️ ,0.0
16753,galebeggy i wake up every night in a cold sweat due to nightmares of a xandaxs invasion ,2.0
16754,i hate  hours shifts waste of time new fun game though grab my homophobic coworkers hips and hold on as long as i can i miss kristin ,2.0
16755, i like it better when youre happy ,2.0
16756,jolenenatalia awwww damn straight  have a great time take too many pics haa we can compare,0.0
16757,hollybwn you should use the jerkofalltrades when you need to respond to me ,0.0
16758,rt hrjobcentre strategy and commissioing manager  sexual healthmental healthld  southendonsea  legaljob description  httpst,1.0
16759,life after school im still in high school im a senior currently applying for universities i cant help but feel that ive already fucked up my life my grades did a huge drop my application is no where as strong as it needs to be i just cant gather the motivation to work on anything despite approaching deadlines in the grand scheme of things i guess this is just a blip in my life but i dont envision a better life im only  but i feel like such a screwup ive wasted so many opportunities over the years and i know ive wasted my potential i wake up every morning wishing i could rewind back a few years to the times when everything was okay i dont have enough guts to harm myself so i just lie in bed wasting waiting for everything to fall apart,3.0
16760,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
16761,hmmm i seem to have lost my cod  disc  i wanna kill nazi zombies,2.0
16762,so tired of life even my friends who play dungeons and dragons with me im a dm dont pay attention and get on their phones no one cares about me at least somebody i actually know fuck this shit i quit,3.0
16763,denissahady he will entertain you ,0.0
16764,bigronatl i know but quotright herequot is so far away and it makes me sad ,2.0
16765,most of your stress comes from the way you respond not the way life is adjust your attitude amp see all that unnece ,2.0
16766,hating wrk rite now  n im still siksmh,2.0
16767,shaynale it was fine till i stubbed it again on a baby now it hurts again ,2.0
16768,confused and alone my partner of three years tried to hurt me two days ago i had to call police to have him removed i need someone to talk to and someone who can relate to coming out of an abusive relationship,3.0
16769,is having one of those days ,2.0
16770, eriksssss then havana tonight  ,0.0
16771,quotjustquot is one of those words i try to cut out of my sentences whenever i can also me    morning  ,2.0
16772, i cant try anything new housework and lesson plans are calling my name ,2.0
16773,meloballerpoet continuation lmaoo i fell asleep work up at   then i was watching stomp the yard it finished at  order chinese,2.0
16774,some girl got her face split open ,2.0
16775,writing a feature on brutal legend  the power of roock flows through meee ,0.0
16776, yeah i was forwarded with your tweet so wasnt that panic struck when it bricked out on me its restoring factory settings ,2.0
16777,macfack i know its rubbish amp it totally defeats the point of twitter being a community  communication for the selfpromoters now ,2.0
16778,thebookmaven no such thing as clean the office day while on deadline ,2.0
16779,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
16780,im learning korean well im learning to write korean hangul ,0.0
16781,i wanna die how can i kill myself without pain,3.0
16782,friends suicide attempt has really pushed me to the edge so i guess im just looking to get some advice to deal with all the feelings im going through one of my closest friendsi dont have many attempted suicide and its put me into a really depressed state of mind ive struggled with depression all my life and its not as if i was super happy before this happened but i had been looking forward to my birthday to maybe push me into a more positive state of mind i had some really nice plans for it and because ive been financially struggling for a long time i was kind of excited to actually get to do something and then suddenly out of nowhere i got the news about my friends suicide attempt literally the day before my birthday naturally my birthday was canceled and i ended up spending the day just being emotional questioning myself as a good friend wondering a million things and driving myself insane my friend as of now is completely fine or as fine as u can be after something like this and i believe being sent home today i want to see them soon but im scared because i dont handle showing emotion in front of others well and i know its going to be extremely emotional i dont want to give my entire backstory because itd be incredibly long but things have been really hard lately and i can feel myself getting really depressed because of this which has led to self harm in my past and im just trying to stay mentally afloat,3.0
16783,whitewytch not anymore came to my shop already did my first reading now resting and getting ready for the next one ,0.0
16784,just wants to be in her babys arms ,2.0
16785,damn they always tryin to get me for my paperproblem is they always win ,2.0
16786,sophiebaron seriously whyyy ,2.0
16787,i made some awesome chicken for dinner want some ill share ,0.0
16788,antidepressants prescription is there any way i can get antidepressants in singapore without going to the doctor,3.0
16789,happy mothers day to meamp all the moms out theree ,0.0
16790,how do you make the day go faster dont want to cure myself and i dont want to be happy i just want to sleep earlier and longer and just need some kind of hack to skip through my day any tips,3.0
16791,tevi yes it is ,2.0
16792,is really tired and still three maybe four days left ,2.0
16793,valentines day this holiday manthis shit shreds me to pieces on the inside everyones happy couple post everyones long rants about how they love their so more than anyone ive never felt love i cant grasp the conceptbut yet everyone seems to have it to me its just another reminder of how lonely i am everyone just writes it off as just another holiday no one cares about okay so if no one cares then why are you all over everything ranting about the love of your life why are you so obsessed with getting your lover the perfect gift clearly it must be kinda importantall my friends have gfs so im the only one who sits at home on valentines day just drinking away valentines day was the last time i seriously cut myself id be surprised if i dont do the same next week,3.0
16794,shamisty you know it  ,0.0
16795,davidarchie hi what is ur next project archie ive seen you on screen such as hannah montana u think u wanna be an actor too xoxo fey ,0.0
16796,someone send me a direct message please i dont like that section being empty on tweetdeck  in love with iphone,2.0
16797,im genuinely so sad i never go to see this man in person,2.0
16798,belltinkr new or used oh heavens i nearly spit on my monitor at that one  badelves that tink is good at being bad isnt she ,0.0
16799,i dont feel like myself anymore somehow it feels like im a stranger to myself lately ive been acting weird around everybody and im aware of that but i just cant help it it just happens what is happening to me are these signs of depression i randomly get mad at people  or irritated when they have done nothing wrong has anyone experienced something like this before if you have  please help me i need it really bad ,3.0
16800,i just watched a harrystyles vs other celebrities video and it made me sad on how true the fact is that httpstcomeotflfhot,1.0
16801,nicolledrakouhajrina  so thats  amp  june we look for tickets  try aegean they cheap but will need tent too hahah,0.0
16802,i spent the last  mins cleaning up kokos facebook she has too many request and inbox messages ,2.0
16803,casablancaangel emanalb emerge thanks u guys  hope ur all okay today,0.0
16804,while my family went to liseberg i got a ride home to my mommy ,0.0
16805,midzeee i know but they will have a poor clipping on the ear  i dont want that,2.0
16806,ive only been here for like an hour and a dog already tried to eat another dog ,2.0
16807,not going to the dance babysitting my brother instead ,2.0
16808,jaisaganir that all sounds like fun  just let me know the exact details and im down yay,0.0
16809,johnnyexp finally got to preorder your cd  so excited cant wait,0.0
16810, brian had family in town so we were at the zoo with the little nieces that day i think  but i was thinking of you guys,0.0
16811,is it  yet ,0.0
16812,work from  out with chad   come to the store to buy shiny things,0.0
16813,like it would be really great if i could live my life n do normal things without my anxiety getting in the way loll,0.0
16814,but we have no school on friday  yay,0.0
16815,making friends could help just to give a background its been more than  months than im unemployed shit crisis in my country i spent everything that i had getting certificates currently living with my parents and every answer that i get is you are well over qualified but you lack experience i had some recent problems with my family too so i tought well maybe if i talk to some friend heshe will understand and ill get this weight over my chest and then i realized i dont have friends anymore i kind of dont know how this happened every friend from college got distant from each other going to live in another city etc and the friends from high school changed too much or maybe i was the one that didnt change at all to the point that we cant discuss a topic without getting into a fight its like everything got so well for all of them and im the underachiever i was diagnosed with depression  years ago but i dont take any medicine that shitty is expensive and couldnt sleep got vivid nightmares all the time everyday is extremely lonely sometimes i spent days without getting a world out of my mouth i feel that if i dont die soon ill get crazyhow can i meet new people with the same interests as me that are willing to talk show empathy and not judge without any money,3.0
16816,jaimelynn  sorry love it may yet work outour house was a nightmare of waiting  months but it turned out okayeventually,2.0
16817,anyone else feel bored with life i dont usually reach out with these but i feel like im just going through the motions i know i would have definitely have killed myself if i didnt have family i still think of it constantly and just suffer in silence im never able to get a girlfriend  i guess my personality or interests are just not appealing ive been told im not bad looking but i cant ever seem to make a connection with anyone im definitely going to die alone all i have to look forward to is the rare fleeting moments of happiness until they disappear again i dont really have much to be depressed about really but im lonely i dont really have any close friends anymore i guess im just venting hope everyone has a nice day,3.0
16818,digooooo what u up to ,0.0
16819,ive had to wear ladys deoderant for the past week because i keep forgetting to buy my kilo axe stuff ,2.0
16820,rt daveepena shows how professional cruise is as much as i feel for cavills sad puppy face here cruise was right to tell him no htt,1.0
16821,rt morguebaby i really wish i had better control oh my anxiety its been so hard to deal with,1.0
16822,xoxokaylaxoxo btw i cant go on another shopping spree no money  xoxo,2.0
16823,mommy left for the week  i miss her already waiting for daddy to come home to feed me im hungry  want me some chicken sniffing  food,2.0
16824,wedding strip joint martinis red wings no pants party best friend awesome weekend  pam,0.0
16825,capitaln yup  im too fuckin cool for school,0.0
16826,nadiakovacs boooo i dont think well make it till tonight ,2.0
16827,i hope youre all having a wonderful day  it at least gets better ,0.0
16828,apple i can see the sun set  apple i can see the sun set  ,0.0
16829,cocolucia for some reason your message did not show up on my iphone feed sat amp now im home  sorry to miss you,2.0
16830,mikestopforth it was just sloooow as hell  seriously,0.0
16831,mitchelmusso i wish i can go but i have to work ,2.0
16832,laurenkaywright do you have a bike now ,0.0
16833,devondaley i was just offered a trip to dc for the tba conference mon  tues but i needed to jump on the plane within the hour so sad ,2.0
16834,falling asleep with my boots on again ,2.0
16835,caseyore awwwww gee thanks casey ,0.0
16836,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
16837,i am so glad we are respectable white girls  ,0.0
16838,hootsboots dont worry the bizarre will find you ,0.0
16839,everyones lives would be much easier in the long run if i werent here i keep hurting my friends because i cant remember things very well anymore i never really could but over the last few years its been deteriorating to the point where i cant really remember a few hours ago memories come up randomly but i cant just try to remember anything specific this leads to missing things saying hurtful things because i forget who im talking to saying things that shouldnt be said and remembering afterwords i shouldnt have said themim contemplating just ending my life or walking somewhere else in the world and maybe die on my travels i dont want to hurt anyone or be a burden anymore im still deciding how i want to do it if at all but im leaning towards yes ,3.0
16840,uhhg my family is watching the new transformers ,2.0
16841,new york city ,0.0
16842,can anyone help me to identify this so what im experiencing is lasting for about  years i think it could be before but i dont really remember what it was beforeso im doing great in life building a great career like to travel do new things learn etc socially not so much but im a introvert after all i dont need more than few people self confidence is not a problem because im very self confident and i really dont give a fuck what anyone thinks or saysbutnothing really brings me joy nothing makes me smilei do smile but its nothing lasting just few moments and back to the default i feel empty melancholic hopeless and overall numb so its not like big sad i just dont feel much there are episodes when i start self pitying my self and being sad but they are rare in the beginning it started from that they were common and i guess i learned to live with it and developed that some sort of numb feeling i had also suicidal thoughts before but now i just dont give a shit what happens really not for living not for dying just there existing and hoping some sense of meaning pop up out of the somewherei would really appreciate some nice answers because im really interested in what this is or could be i understand that you guys are not professionals but curiosity is bigger than me i was searching for the answers for too long already and nothing adds up closest thing was some sort of high functioning depression but not even that adds upthanks in advance,3.0
16843,runawayblue dont worry thoughhe will be fine ,0.0
16844,i so need to start writing my english essay  arrrgggh i really dont want to,2.0
16845,omg i woke up amp felt like i was gonna pass out in tha showeramp to top it off my hands feel like i have a serious case of arthritis wtf ,2.0
16846,rt tearsbible 📝 thats whats so scary about depression it makes you think nothing else matters even if you have the world,1.0
16847,rt schoolfession when someone says dont be anxious and your anxiety is cured ,2.0
16848,bigvixxen s i asked to play with u in cod but u didnt reply ,2.0
16849,back from church childrens service so it was pretty manic with little people running everywhere ,0.0
16850,looking at what shape clouds are ooh is that no ,2.0
16851,in so much pain right now   ,2.0
16852,anyone else like this cycles this goes around in a neverending cycle from depression to a fugue state neither is fun or worth living for i have to try to stop myself from thinking or else i slip into depression and when its bad usually at night i have nothing to take it out on ever since i made myself stop cutting its weird aswell because im comfortable in depression but i think thats just the comfort from the pity i give myself i wasnt depressed for a while but when it came back i felt id missed it i hate talking to anyone about it in person because i can never convey it properly and it just complicates things sorry for the rant advice welcome,3.0
16853,ive got a long day and night ahead of me ,2.0
16854,mayawaan man sad ko ug pinakalit saakong damgo oy suspense man kaayo 😥😂,2.0
16855,wipeout that would be how do they avoid killing somebody  ,2.0
16856,morning tweets today again is lovely  going to get my hair cut later and then get my madre to dye itif i can drag her away from footy,0.0
16857,dont you love the feeling of sitting and relaxing in a beautiful yard i got to relax and enjoy my hard work today ,0.0
16858,another day with parents todaywith rain ,2.0
16859,steveweber like is not even the word  ,0.0
16860,lets help each other,0.0
16861,enjoying my time in kona with my family but i miss everyone back home ,0.0
16862,ive been in therapy for  years taking medication for  and some days i still want to die but for some reason im still here and it feels strange ,3.0
16863,bartmillard have u guys done bohemian rhapsody for a cover tune grab bag if not that wld be an awesome one to do ,0.0
16864,just jot off class ,0.0
16865,thehannabeth good morning have a wonderful time today ,0.0
16866,went to ritters got me icecream and doggy icecream for my doggys birthday today ,0.0
16867, ohhh that sounds fun ,0.0
16868,mandapanda hahaha you got some crazy awesome songs  poor jenny  i will pray for your friend too,2.0
16869,just a couple thoughtswas bored this morning ,0.0
16870, get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
16871,well everything is frozen   so cereal it is,2.0
16872,tried killing myself yesterday need anything to look forward to i have been doing nothing for  years but doing drugs and gaming i think its ok because the day will come were i kill myselfi just need any meaning to go on,3.0
16873,vaceos to direct message you just need to add a quotdquot  ie d rvabusiness not dm rvabusiness  just so you know ,0.0
16874,mongstradamus just looking for some peoplee to go with mostly  no friends around here wanna come with ,2.0
16875,watching my two new kittens play with eachother ,0.0
16876,tasks around the house then some shopping in hagerstown before dinner at tgifridays with ian ,0.0
16877,i beat suicide by killing myself on the inside  fuck you depression i killed myself on the inside i know death is nothingness and i thought i might as well try not giving one single fuck before i fully commit to it i lost the woman who raised me in september didnt want all her work to be for nothingabout  months or so ago i cut myself off from everyone im a depressed sack of shit so it was all toxic relationships anyway i quit my job cut my long broken hair and bleached it started exercising all because i was dead i stopped giving a single fuck i had no fears what are you gonna do kill me you gonna look at me weird you pussy ass bitch do it i dont care you wanna be rude to me sorry im not a little bitch boy now and i can handle myself i wont just take the shit youre giving me ill fight back and demand respect because its entertaining to see you care fuck you nancy making me come into work these weird ass hours no im gonna live off my savings youll give me a better position nah its too dark in here anyway smells like foot whats that professor shithead you dont like my paper well i think it is gods work and im gonna harass you until you give me a better grade eat asshole test anxiety i dont give a rats ass whether or not i do well on this exam i should probably make friends nah fuck that im just gonna be me and if people like me then so be it i have  close friends i made the past year not giving a single fuck being aggressive being open im sorry me you wanna lie in bed like a dogs shit all day nope im putting you to work you worthless bitch you want some alcohol to make this easier on you haha syke sober cunt you dont get anything depression destroyed my life im currently getting treatment still but this change in my mentality helped the most i not only got my first a i got my first two and a c in a class no one passes im a god now yall this isnt a thanks im cured post since i hate those but try not giving a single fuck about what you think detach yourself from your body mind and situation and pretend youre someone else whenever thoughts of caring crept back in i visualized smashing it to bits and sweeping it off a cliff like the parasite it is id think over and over nope no stop this isnt happening im not caring about this right now nope nope nope and went into crackhead mode finding something else to think about something more interesting than whether or not ill have enough money for tuition or if i said something embarrassing,3.0
16878,day is done  heading for bed  keep the twitterverse safe ,0.0
16879,mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm love that sound ,0.0
16880,venting idk whatto do she left me and im all alone now ive been heart broken before but i feel hollow inside it feels like a calm before the emotional storm and breakdown that is inevitable idk how im gonna survive she made me want to live and die at the same time im so nervous to see her tonight at work pray to god i dont throw up the memories we made together overwhelm me and i freeze up in emotional pain ,3.0
16881,greggrunberg bftv available on itunes or amazon  at all no cd drive on my netbook ,2.0
16882,matthewjhansen ill be there  ,0.0
16883,homenekonomics sad,2.0
16884,sirreigns i am doing pretty wellworked in the garden todayrelaxing now ,0.0
16885, lol that was a joke ,0.0
16886,anxiety is a bitch,2.0
16887,when life wont let you win why do i feel like im always fighting myself why wont  i realize im right and just let myself win why,3.0
16888,justgetmefit ooo i will do plyo i need to get mobile asap ,0.0
16889,is eating at daitchan ampcant stop thinking of osaka because of the revolving sushi bar good times with osaka family ,0.0
16890,hate it when i have to start mon showing someone the door ,2.0
16891,i dunno but im gonna try to go to bed  am comes around fast  ,0.0
16892,ottabek shiropane i googled otabek anxiety disorder twitter and it was the second result searching in the twitte ,2.0
16893,riverjordan thanks again so much ,0.0
16894,rharbes ingrahamangle msnbc sad,2.0
16895,good morning im still in bed but have to get up and feed the baby some porridge soon yummy ,0.0
16896,depression about other people background i have dysthymia and ocd after an episode of ocd i usually have a hangover period where i enter major depression for a few weeksmonths which i am currently going through nowdo any of you get seriously depressed about other peoples problems particularly loneliness like i cried for like  mins about a kid who said he had no friends and wanted someone to play video games with it seriously tore me up i just felt so sorry for him is this normalhas anyone else experienced this,3.0
16897,brandiheyy ohhh cooool  your so pretty btw x,0.0
16898,rt lovlikejesus sad prayover thinking praygiving up prayhurting praydepressed praystruggling prayworried praypray a,1.0
16899,chrismmason theres multi tasking and theres multi multi tasking also not a bit organised for my trip to london ,2.0
16900,i want to paint more pictures but i ran out of paper ,2.0
16901,is feeling grateful fo her awesome life ,0.0
16902,perksofbeingme im sorry hope you feel better in the mornin  im watchin sweeny todd again ,0.0
16903,oh my god i do not know to use this site  ,2.0
16904,isplayer has died sorry ,2.0
16905,anyone out there so im new to this and i just need to vent so beware sadness below im  and my story was i was one of the most friendly people in middle school  grade suddenly everyone stopped talking to me i lost my friends and everything has gona down hill him a sophomore in high school now and havent dated anyone since  grade not real friends just people to talk to at school i have really bad anxiety and even though my parents love me and treat me right i just want someone to hold and love it hurts me that everyone i talk tonot many they just dont like me back i know i cant help that but it hurts me ive tried to kill my self once and i dont want to try again but im freaking lonely and its getting in my head really bad at this point this one girl i was going for she knew i was i bought her stuff she wanted gave her my all and one day she just asks me any tips on what she should say to this kid she wanted to hook up with i was crushed i mean crushed my only way to vent this lonely ness is to watch the  anniversary of phantom of the opera and i dress up as the phantom and sing the songs as if i could possibly get the girl i cry myself to sleep every night and i dont know what i can do phantom is the only way i feel i stay sane i relate to him and his pain of you arent familiar with it do a quick google search on what its about im just here to find closure or maybe advise but please nothing tacky like youll find the right personthanks for listening side edit another thing that really messed me up was the girl i liked was apparently high and she cuddled with me at a park for like  hour best time ever i didnt try anything wanted to show respect and the next day she said she dosent want to hurt me but she was just cold and wanted to be warm she dosent like me,3.0
16906,in the car someone give me ideas im lost ,2.0
16907,acing everything it is so easy ,0.0
16908,rt plynteria adachi i became a cop just so i could legally carry a gun and kill peoplena fans oh fuck yum i love the edgeakechi i,1.0
16909,depression kills,2.0
16910, helllllooooo julia welcome to twitter  hope you are good xxx,0.0
16911,wvw  haha  shut it    hope you had fun today kid,0.0
16912, and i unfortunately did not get wicked tickets they only give out  ,2.0
16913,lauriegbuczek yes will do i need to write several actually ,0.0
16914,ikaikatilton not too well im miserable but i dont know how else to look at it right now ,2.0
16915, and  more hours thank goodness ,0.0
16916,we never stood,0.0
16917,just won tix to grey gardens at pcs    i never win anything,0.0
16918,wiesel yeh good for ibm good for the students and good for monash ha no just part of my day job ,0.0
16919,tweet later byee ,0.0
16920,soo warm ,0.0
16921,some stress doodles from sitting in the hospital waiting im holding it together for now ,2.0
16922,oh god today was the worst day ever no no tomorrow will be the worst day ever i hate my maths teacheri cried today ,2.0
16923,meganfriend damonfriend is sleeping right now lol ,0.0
16924,oh kiefer sutherland to me you will always be a young gun ,0.0
16925,burnt to the bone and about to chill watching a rerun of bgt  how cool am i hardy har har,0.0
16926,my shirt smells like fabric softener biiiiiig sniff but i know it wont last long ,2.0
16927,boogiedownchu too many ppl around the world lol are using it all at the same time it is not letting me in his site ,2.0
16928,darrylparker sure  looking forward to some r amp d myself ,0.0
16929,shopping with the hubs n dinner lata ,0.0
16930,therubbad link doesnt work ,2.0
16931,uh oh car needs to be fixed ,2.0
16932,missdomo  dont hate twitter it jus has problems sometimes lolthe only mobile updates i get are jus if someone sends me a direct msg,2.0
16933,junetwentytwo i have a friend who calls me little baby ranga now i know why ,2.0
16934,justlaina you mean you dont already have fell o its awesome ,0.0
16935,my meds arent making my depression any better as of late i dont know what to do depression ptsd  ocd  panic disordercurrently at   made me too sleepy and  wasnt enough so i take three  pills depression is better anxiety is way better couldnt leave my house or hold a full time job prior to lexapro this med has been in a blessing in that im married and have an actual career problems are the following i am apathetic af im a musician and i never have the motivation to play my instruments anymore i just lay on my couch i cant go out and do social things its not because im anxious i just feel lazy i feel like my life is wasting away because im not enjoying all the things i love  ive gained about  and im tired all the damn time i have fibromyalgia which also makes me tired so the combo destroys my motivation to get up and move   sex drive is so wonky cannot orgasm via sex takes forever to orgasm on my own this is super frustrating as my dose as increased this has become an issue for me im afraid ive i take myself off the lexapro my depression and panic will destroy my marriage and career i dont have great psychiatrists by me who take my insurance so my primary doctor prescribes my lexapro last year he floated around the idea of adding wellbutrin but i was afraid to do so since wellbutrin can exacerbate anxiety,3.0
16936,willchamplin hey i heard you on ustream tonight just wanted to say i enjoyed you performance i like your stylekeep it up ,0.0
16937,has anyone heard of mrfilig weird that we live together yet i havent heard of him ,2.0
16938,chrissie i remember bits i just wanna piece it together lol walking on nothing in space ,2.0
16939,and they are so censoring over at nincom nobody can really speculate about these things are disagree with anything ,0.0
16940,lauratrevey  lovely paintings they make me want to go on vacation ,0.0
16941,foxyhotsawce owwwwww gooood morning ,0.0
16942,hassanachanelle yesss but gloomy here in va ,2.0
16943,rt  view our video tutorial on mouse handling methods to minimise stress and anxiety created by researchers livuniiib ,2.0
16944,advocatemahere its sad to learn that she lost i think fadzi shed make a great leader if given a chance,1.0
16945,oystarb yeah i do i dont have a choice but to tell them but i get sooo many of these calls ,2.0
16946,going to stay with yayerin she has an ear infection ,2.0
16947,anndonnelly i think curiouswines need to start paying us in wine for all this advertising v really nice wine ,0.0
16948,aww i didnt know the last titanic survivor had died last week  she was only  months old when the boat sank,2.0
16949,im new to reddit im not used to use reddit i came to this subreddit because i tought well i already tried everything therapy hobbies sports going outside the usual has been at least  years now since my life is a whole lot of darkness with fews ups and downs maybe anyway the thing is i imagine this was a space where you could as a description says you would not feel alone well the only thing i read after  hour scrolling is mostly young guys around my age complaining about their lack of passion on things life or anything really which i can relate   and the comments were all full of these people like me like us we all lost to be fair there was always someone trying to cheer em up therapy might help what is something that you like last time you felt happy or whatever what im trying to say is knowing that lots of people have the same suicidal dark toughts as you does not help at all i feel like everyone here including me will never get out of this i know it might trigger someone by saying things like that and its dangerous but fucked it who caresss some guys are better or new to this feeling and some guys are used to it its all the same shit bunch of wasted potential dont even work anymore gave up nothing is interesting the whole package   i only write this to say this site does not help,3.0
16950,getting n my lazyboy thus to snooze  awhile nitey nite ,0.0
16951,missing someone ,0.0
16952, its soo hard to use twitter  well i think it is  but im blonde so i would haa  xx,0.0
16953, the deli for hosty wo you ,2.0
16954,sooo closeso closeand still so far ,2.0
16955,after ive been on the web for a bit im going to do some hw ,2.0
16956,rt linaabdelkarim ana hyaateee sad story aslnnn ,2.0
16957, degrees at  too love california d ,0.0
16958,theyre booing   not nice,2.0
16959,darkerartic no i missed it  any good,2.0
16960,juliagoolia absolutely just hit me with what you prefer hon  ,0.0
16961,jeonlel taehks what a sad life bro,2.0
16962,nikkiperry no cant u come later i will post my story ,2.0
16963,i dont miss istock until it goes away ,2.0
16964,i miss my boyfriend  and i dont know how long i can waitthis fuckin sucks ,2.0
16965,i guess ill just go to bed ,2.0
16966,my sister is depressed and its starting to really affect me i have tried really hard to be there for her and try to do as much as i can to support her seeing her so down everyday and her visibly showing her cuts even fresh ones is giving me so much anxiety that i dont know if i can handle it anymore its getting really hard being around her but i feel like i have to as her big sister she even talks about killing herself almost daily its mainly her joking but more or less its really unnerving she is seeing a therapist and has a medication but it doesnt seem to help her my mental state hasnt been the besteven before i got to know about her problems i have really gotten worse because of her i hate to say it and it makes me feel quilty is it really okay for me to prioritise my own mental health before hers i care about her so much but im hurting myself by being around her so much she doesnt have much friends either to be there for her so she spends time with me the most she sometimes even gets mad at me if i want to go out and see my friends i really dont know what do with her so some helpful comments or anything would be appreciated,3.0
16967,ill never achieve my dreams ever since i was a sophomore in high school i wanted to be a writer i fought to get my bachelors in creative writing landed an internship at a startup that abused me as an employee and ended up quitting to apply for my masters while writing my first book i ended up being rejected by my dream school making me wonder if im really meant to be a teacher and i struggled to find any jobs near home that could use my talents i ended up working graveyard shift at a market while writingwhat would becomemy first book it was also around this time that my mom went into cardiac arrest and survived for a year and a half in a vegetative state before passing away a few months ago i also ended up having to quit my job at the time to take care of my dad who needed openheart surgeryi continued working on my poetry my short stories and my novel until they were polished enough to send out to magazines and agents i have yet to receive any kind of positive feedback i also get very minimal traffic to my blog and none of my friends seem to care about me enough to support my work this comes with the job i suppose but having been diagnosed with major depressive disorder in the fourth grade i obviously find it difficult to consider any of my failures as mere stepping stones to success some days i can get my work done but a lot of the time i wonder whats the point and i think about giving up completely im pissed off that i was born with a shitty mental illness that makes me question myself and renders me incapable of maintaining a normal job im mad at myself for being stupid enough to believe that a degree would be enough to help me get a job in writing and im mad that im not really good for anything else i wish my depression and anxiety would go away i wish that i was more confident in myself but i also kind of wish i had the strength to end my life so that i wouldnt have to deal with this pain anymore,3.0
16968,cant rely on myself its my subconscious remember i cant control it  leonardo dicaprios character just takes the words right out of my mouth with that one line from inception  now obviously movies cant be trusted to represent reality but it perfectly encapsulated how ive felt about my existence and living in my own body for well as long as i can remember  i cant rely on myself im inconsistent debilitating emotion comes in waves half the time seemingly from nowhere yet the whole world needs you to be reliable i cant trust my own feelings i cant keep playing pretend half the time just to put on airs of being consistent  does anybody else understand what im saying here im not strictly looking for answers or something i want to make sure that what im saying makes sense its one of the big things i am going to tell my therapist thanks,3.0
16969,rant i am so tired of being depressed and the problems that come along with it i lost my husband over two and a half years ago i lost  lbs because i didnt eat now i eat when im not hungry trying to fill that empty hole inside of me i have no motivation and i dont want to get out of bed take a shower brush my teeth or clean my house ive asked family members for help but they are not supportive i quit my stressful job when i realized that i shouldnt be dreading going to work every day and feel like im walking on eggshells when im there ive been looking for work over six months and havent found a job and my money situation is critical and its warm now where i live and i turned on the ac and no air came out from the vents i cant afford a repairman i have asthmaallergies so the ac is a necessity im sure all of this is contributing to making my depression worse im not suicidal just feeling like ive had too many punches to the gut where does it end am i just being cranky or are these issues valid and i really wish my family would be more supportive that would help so much i see a therapist every two weeks which does help,3.0
16970,quotyeah them men love them blowjobsquot something you never want to hear your grandma say over breakfast talkin about charles barkley ,2.0
16971,wish my computer worked so i could skype with spdracerx ,2.0
16972,high performing pharmaceutical executive now on mental health leave me my whole life i have been the best best grades promotion after promotion regarded as a high performer in every company i have ben with trouble is i always expect to be flawless and the best making me have unrealistic expectations what manifests is that any little mistake i make or i perceive i make makes me feel like a total failure i have no vivid memories of my successes just my mistakes recently my anxiety and depression got so bad that i had to take a break from work im a mess yes doing therapy and trying to find effective medication but i feel lost how can i ever go back to work when i cant think straight how will people perceive me now after taking a leave from work do people think im crazy i dont want my wife and kids to watch me go through this i know suicide isnt the answer but it enters my head dailyany thoughts ,3.0
16973,thriftstoregirl both great movies but ive seen em already ,2.0
16974,sitharus all gossip would be good ,0.0
16975,went into the bed now  it was such a awesome day  xxlenaxo ur so awesome i never wana lose uand emilyypetty too ,0.0
16976,im not unfriendly i swear i justdont know what to say my entire life people have always looked down onbeen suspicious of me because im reserved and not outgoing i come off as being dry and snobbish because of my social anxiety and major depression i was bullied growing up which turned me into a depressedsocially anxious mess after high school and i had time to reflect on everything that happened to me growing up i felt broken i felt like the people in my life didnt understand me because i finally realized that i didnt really understand myself and it showed i want to connect with people to the people i know and love i want to connect with you and thats why i try to stick with it in social situations rather than look for a quick exit when i start to feel stressed its not that i dont like you its not that i dont want you to leave or feel ignored i just value you so much that i cant bring myself to formulate words because i overthink everything because of my major depression and sad which further compounds my depression and anxiety i love you and care about you i justwish i could express it without having a panic attack or coming off as a cynical dick please believe me im not unfriendly i do care its not you its me,3.0
16977,my laptop is being a complete idiot  watching the hills have eyes with my dad ,0.0
16978,littlecaptain very very excited for you ,0.0
16979,raining bummer ,2.0
16980,i have my high school reunion today  years afterits a love  hate thing  reunion,0.0
16981,my heart got broken tonight ,2.0
16982, yo moderately privileged suffering from extreme depression caused by jealousy my life feels like a slow death i know it sounds stupid but just looking at everyone who is the same age as you with their entire life already settled is killing me all i do is wake upgtcollegegtplaygamesgtsleep and if there are examswake upgtcollegegtstudygtsleepparents full of debts my college is fucking trash because its freemy routine is so sad and depressing i see my personality changing to a person who would do anything just to achieve their own dreams like looking for friends who are rich act friendly towards them just because how desperate you are not because i like them i hate myself so much i always wish i was rich i always wish i was more determined to achieve my dreams i always wish i took risks but im just witnessing my life and dreams being crushed each minute of my day,3.0
16983, alternative therapies for depression  as i discussed last month depression is the yin to anxietys yang be httpstcomxwxrwcwcy,2.0
16984,oh jlsimmons i understand and i dont think the sentence sentence was needed ,0.0
16985, i hope that donnie tweets or else i wont have a very good sleep tonight ,2.0
16986,divercity to winn me thinkss  x,0.0
16987,is enjoying the nice weather ,0.0
16988,what to do when feeling utterly lost in life whenever asked what i want to do when i grow up i could never come up with an answer my parents encouraged me to work hard in high school and it allowed me to get into a top  public university in the us i chose a major based on what i thought would best fit me but nothing really stood out to me as i get closer to graduating i keep asking myself is this really what i want to do for the rest of my life the answer is usually no which brings up the question of what do i want to do in my life i was guided down this path of success but i feel miserable when thinking about the future im working so hard for a degree that doesnt interest me so i can devote the next  years of my life to a corporation that just sees me as another cog in their machine i realize that this is just the way life is but thinking about this makes me so sad i can find happiness in my life when im not worrying about school or what careers may be the least miserable for me to pursue but i just feel so lost and empty as work life is just so depressing seeing how the world is being run also adds to this sadness corrupt corporations ruining the planet and exploiting millions of lives all in the name of profit a fundamentally corrupt political system which allows these corporations which i may end up working for to influence so many aspects of peoples lives for their own benefit social media and the media in general acting as distractions while twisting whatever narrative they want in order to get more clicks all of this adds up and seems to chip away at my sanity the planet looks like it will be doomed in  years anyways so what is the point to all of this,3.0
16989,internal i rewrote this post five times so far and im so upset at myself that i cant correctly communicate what the fuck is going on with me ,3.0
16990,good bye im done thanks for all the support but i just cant anymore ,3.0
16991,wanted to get to  this weekend but its not going to happen ,2.0
16992,happiness is dan the postman delivering a stack of classic vinyl ,0.0
16993,tonyburkejnr well done to yer mother did ye see the new topman i bought half of it  not good on my credit card,2.0
16994,digitalpension sure appreciate you posting the link to the easytweetprofits quotfine printquot thanks ,0.0
16995,xenyasai yeah you are limited for choice with internet providers down here ,2.0
16996,why do i feel like everything is going to shit recently ive noticed that everything i enjoyed in the past started to seem shit to me most of my friends have betrayed me and the my other friends jokes are just not funny to merecently i started to be a loner because everyone seems to hate me or just doesnt want me around by the way i enjoyed being alone before but know it seems im kinda forced to itmovies i enjoyed in the past seems shitty like tron legacy when i was younger i thought what a good movie but now its like what the fuck is thisand the music i enjoyed seems really horrible its like that south park episode where stan hated everything around him because it was shiti dont know if its depression or not i just want to understand that why everything seems shit to me i want to enjoy life like i used to,3.0
16997,am off to check out the blacktown business expo today ,0.0
16998,songbirdteam but only when itunes is launched its filling up my hard drive fast im not sure what to do now ,2.0
16999,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
17000,i love making up ,0.0
17001,relaxing after a hard workout amp a nice shower ,0.0
17002,barrybrown were missing the toy show at javaone ,2.0
17003,i feel extremely depressed its almost suicidal i feel extremely depressed its almost suicidali dont want to make this cringe or just be that guy i went everyone to feel sorry for but i donthave anyone to speak about with so id rather just explain it hereive been feeling depressed since september  but over the months its gotten better but there are events in life that keep making it worsei found an apprenticeship that turned out tobe complete slavery and a mental hazard as now i have been fired from it for a very minor mistake which at the same make me happy as i wanted to leave this job either way but i was helping my mom out financiallyi have also met a girl that shows too much too soon meaning that shes not someone id have a long future with anyway shes more of temporary happiness that i dont want anyway and today i met her again this is our second meet up and it went well but theres too many guys for me to wrap my head around which is a no no to mei feel extremely fcked in the head rn i have no job no apprenticeship and im depressed right now the future is looking very dark and on top of that i might be catching feelings for someone that would leave me in the dark and crush my heart like my exany tips are very much appreciated,3.0
17004,is re uploading my new vid didnt work the first time  haha watever this one only has four more minutes,2.0
17005,its way too early and im out of school already ,2.0
17006,longhornchyck ,2.0
17007, i need help ,0.0
17008,togetherwf i teach  grade so had  get this done now  be ready  the next school year hoping everything heals nicely at this point ,0.0
17009,made a mistake going on birth control apparently my foresight is approximately  i went on birth control without talking to my provider about effects on mental health and now ive been on the verge of crying for  weeks straight and been struggling to get out of bed because my hormones are all out of wack i dont need more things making my depression worse i can hardly handle my regular hormones lol ,3.0
17010,up early because of school only worked out for  minutes this morning gonna be in vnc all day until my evening class lets out ,2.0
17011,i havent texted anyone or gone to any social events in  months ever since i graduated school and moved away i havent made any friends none of my old friends talk to me since we were never that close and i am very involved in our local community but still not one text or one friend,3.0
17012,jellybean i just read about that too  hope they find the airplane asap,2.0
17013,shopping at gilroy today and had a whimsical dessert ,0.0
17014,owwww my neck ,2.0
17015,though i try not to care so much i am still ticked at the way the white sox managed to blow a  lead in the  yesterday   ,2.0
17016,rt trillxlove anxietydepression is scary af you push away everyone that means the most to you and you start to hate the person you are,2.0
17017,tickingtimebomb see hes not verified but hes got these candid tweetpics so i dont know what to do  hows steph ,2.0
17018,refactoringtruncating some ruby scripts ,0.0
17019,making a coping box im making a coping box for my depression any recommendations for me to put into my box,3.0
17020,gabe drank my contacts  ,2.0
17021,is wondering how these competetitions work i dont want to over spam my timeline anymore trackle squarespace ,2.0
17022,escatalopram and memory im having severe lapses in memoryi took lexapro for  months maybe a bit longer for depression  ive  been off for maybe two or three  my short term and long term memory has never been great but im realizing that im missing chunks of time  trying to remember events from photographs is oftentimes a chore if not impossible  just tonight i realized that i forget most of yesterday  when i was looking in a frenzy at a photo compilation of last christmas i realized i cant recall much of it  im not sure what else i rememberforget  i forget a lot of everyday things and tasks but thats always been the case  now im legitimately forgetting chunks of time  it has me really nervous ive had this issue before but this seems more pronounced and drastic  anyone else go through this  what do i do,3.0
17023,forums soflotc updated pictures   ,0.0
17024,last day  nick hotel hope daug wakes up better today so sad ,2.0
17025,its my birthday and everything sucks my mom went out of town i have work tonight my one sided best friend is hanging out with her current and temporary fling instead of me everything sucks and ive been crying since  last night oof,3.0
17026,finished watching season  of mary kills people not so well written but tackles a very important topic assisted ,0.0
17027,daniel baldwin should not have gone home  when janice applauded when he left that really hurt stephens feelings which hurt my feelings,2.0
17028,did u forget about us ,2.0
17029, sweet  thank you for the view from your window mention,0.0
17030,good afternoon all  time to eat but ill be back lol,0.0
17031,i forget how much thrillerhorror movies stress me out 🤦🏻‍♀️,2.0
17032,ginoboi monicafrancesca ginoandfran requesting the show by lenka please thanks ,0.0
17033,eating dinner then out and about ,0.0
17034,getting a screening tomorrow advice ive had diagnosed adhd my entire life and along with it felt a lot of the textbook symptoms of depression loss of interest in activities i love feeling withdrawn and listless losing sight of me ever having a future at all or any hope so i am going to get a screening to see if i have depression and hopefully make sense of all this any advice,3.0
17035,had nightmares about roached last night also needing a trip home ,2.0
17036,i might be the most useless person ever there is a lot to talk about but i generally dont feel like i should live anymore im  years old and im literally not good at anything and i dont have any hobbies besides gaming which is just unhealthy and boring its very sad how i regret the fact that i wasnt interested in choosing a hobby when i was younger i was just so pathetic and arrogant and i still am pathetic and arrogant for how useless i feel i look at my friends in college and each one of them has a hobby and it just feels shit to be sitting around being good for nothing dont tell me its too late to give up on choosing a hobby a person starting at  and it even feels embarrassing to start at  and a person at  will never be as good as a person who grew on his hobby my closest friend asked me once as he was making fun of me what are you good at exactly youre really bad at everything and your choices are always wrong keep in mind that he was absolutely kidding and im not mad at him as were very opened with each other but i see what he actually meant its so sad that im useless another example is my tutor at the college she asked me about my hobbies and i simply replied none and she just said im being serious and then i told her that i am legit not good at anything and then she said that im never going to get a girl because i have nothing to attract her interest or for being boring basically im also not very good at any subject aside from the skills subject writing essays presentations etc as i got the highest mark amongst my classmates and i was happy that i was finally good at something but guess what recently got the lowest grade on that subject in the class i wasnt even upset about the grade i was upset about the fact that im not even good at this one thing that i thought i might be good at my friend might have understood and he said at least youre nice which i also doubt because i know how i behave when i get upset someimes therefore i just feel really bad for my parents wasting their time and money on someone who is just good for nothing i know youll say im going to cause them pain when i leave but theyll eventually forget it however if i stay alive and they know im useless during my whole life theyll feel worse as my situation is inevitable and theyre experiencing it permanently sorry english isnt my main language but thanks if you actually read this im not sure if its depression or not dont care honestly but just explaining my situation,3.0
17037,i swear i want one of those lifes good braclets  ♥,0.0
17038,why do i do this to myself i overthink things a lot so i dont know if im overthinking this i feel like my friends just use me for my basic empathy skills some of my friends have depression i think and they always vent to me and im always the shoulder to cry on and i check up on them every so often when we go out to parties i usually vent to everyone when im drunk and ask to be checked up on from time to time but they never check up on me never not once if they do its very vague and forced and i can tell they dont care i dont want to ask for help or tell them how i feel cause i would feel bad for wasting theyre time i dont know if this is my depression telling me im nothing but an online therapist to them but it sure feels like it even when i make it obvious im sad or lonely they still wont make an effort am i relying on them too much because my family doesnt help my school doesnt help especially after my dad recently passed away anything i can do,3.0
17039,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
17040,thomasfiss ur fan forever no matter what uù do always here for uù   loving amp supporting uù till the end   love you so  liva x,0.0
17041,sharlynnx yes there is its by nicholas sparks  i cried so much you have to read it and yess its one of my fav too landoon  haha xx,0.0
17042,tashatweets sorry i didnt mean to offend im kinda new to this twitter thing so i dont really get it im a huge fan of yours ,0.0
17043,i cant do this right now my heart rate just went up and i got major anxiety cause i thought of about  negative things,1.0
17044,i hate being depressed all the time my life is so sad its fucking pathetic,2.0
17045, whats the definition of a stalker,2.0
17046,im quite impressed by atonement romance has never my type but this one is really good ,0.0
17047,oh my look at the time best go get a soaking  me poor hair just had it done yesterday  a give up wish a was a bloke at times,2.0
17048,its ok guys im back i know u missed me ,0.0
17049,is anyone else afraid of the dark i get scared at nighttime ,2.0
17050,mrpaulevans hold down the fort  ,0.0
17051,i fell out of bed this morning and have a bent beak as a result ,2.0
17052,work done not going to vegas skipping darts tonite only good thing this weekend is the girl iv been flirting with at work asked me out ,0.0
17053,brianfriedman happy birthday  ,0.0
17054,hullboydan sad to see,0.0
17055,christinatard sr my mind is so bad    so shak youre studying in ltv and were friend on my school  right,2.0
17056,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
17057,am i not cool enough for them feel kind of sad ,2.0
17058,rt noelledelray a must retweet for ladies sad but true its happened to me 💔 girls ive got your back httpstcogeyhfkmtdl,0.0
17059,i guess i have right to be in depression for the love god what shitty  years i have been through  years old cant find a job for a year divorced and still have to pay a bitch forever my daughter is told by her grandmom that i am not her real father so she doesnt want to see me everything is coming upon me even though i am quite cheerful guy that jokes everyone and always smilenot because of antidepressanti dont wanna use any kind of drugs  please tell me one reason that can affect my stupid mind to give up from everything and just sit against a computer monitor all day long,3.0
17060,कासगंज  फर्जी मुकदमे के डर से युवक ने की आत्महत्याupnews crimenews suicide  httpstcodcjfjvjeqg,1.0
17061,i added a video to a youtube playlist  bach  minuet in g major relaxing piano music relieving stress,0.0
17062,just the usual patheticism i wrote this little thing last october cant say i dont still think about it too muchi do not deserve life i have been given greater luxuries than most people on this earth and yet i still feel cheated i feel superior to others yet i lack reason to believe so i am personally threatened when those around me accomplish things greater than i could ever hope to achieve yet dont try to accomplish things myself im a lazy arrogant fool who believes hes a genius im not im a fucking child who reads a bit of wikipedia every virtue i possess is out weighed by all of my impeccable flaws i have a strong moralization yet lie and cheat and manipulate every day without thoughti do not deserve life i have nothing to give to the world and as such there will be a point in which i will have nothing left to take from it like a parasite i will feed off my loved ones until theyre dead and i will die and i will hate myself the whole way through because my one true virtue of strong self reflection merely forces me to ponder on my bleak existence,3.0
17063,went to see in the loop ive learnt new and more colouful ways to swear at people ,0.0
17064,i went and looked at cars todayi want one so bad ,2.0
17065,hi  babyblackbear thank u beary much  followfriday luv hope u feeln gud think u sed u havn test this week f so gud luck with it,0.0
17066,is back home in ct after being delayed yesterday    i hate flying into lga,2.0
17067,how do i find a therapist if i am dealing with a list of things i need to work on there is probably some aspect of myself viewing this as more complicated that it needs to be but i am a little overwhelmed with trying to find a decent therapist i am in the process of going through a neurophsychology evaluation that i am almost certain will result in an adhd diagnosis this practice only evaluates and recommends possible treatment paths but does not actually treat the therapist they recommend does not accept my insurance so i started looking for another one closer to my home but through searching online i cant seem to find therapists that work with all the issues i want to work through from sexuality depression anxiety adhd relationship issues and some big life events that are happening all at the same time i just want to make sure i dont waste my time with a therapist that isnt right for me but also dont really know what a good therapist looks like any advice anyone who may relate ,3.0
17068,dont wanna work tomorrow  northies tmw nighttt amp lily allen on tuesday ,2.0
17069,i do not want to go to school tomorrow i have to make a presentation ,2.0
17070,i think im ill ,2.0
17071,shaundiviney noo u wanna have mine ,2.0
17072,heartmileycyrus oh waw and yes scotland to be presice haha ,0.0
17073, sumthing in my mind owwhh yeah i want kerang goreng sambal kat bp but so sad that day tak dpt ,2.0
17074,darenzia sounds like a damn good plan to me i also spent most of today in bed ,0.0
17075, ano a jst saw tht there aha ,2.0
17076,downloading new clips ,0.0
17077,soooothe bruhs shut down the dance floor at the moon on saturday because they were strollingclassic kd ,0.0
17078,drusylla im not sure i should now making fun of me ,2.0
17079,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
17080,playing with the pup in the pool ,0.0
17081,is using ie for twitter bummer ,2.0
17082,fck off and here we are again loneliness struggle very bad selfesteem procrastination and a few more all of that because of your inactivity and your anxiety it was your dream like for real  do you really wanna live in that situation all your fcking life  i know that youre hating yourself more than anyone but wake up youre your best ally and your worst ennemy keep it in mind prove yourself that youre worth living and do your best to be proud of you i know that im surely not the best to talk about that but whatever i needed this for myself   sorry for my pathetic english and i hope that youll be fine until the next crisis ,3.0
17083,aroundmysmile unfortunately i sent you a facebook msg got a drs appt today ,2.0
17084,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17085,time for sleep exam in  hours ,2.0
17086,designbeauty wow that sounds fun ,0.0
17087,good morning bitches and hoes  i just got to work ran half way and then took the bus,0.0
17088,this ladies and gentlemen is the unfortunate truth of why fonterra was necessary to protect the cooperative owner httpstcouzrursmhwn,0.0
17089,kinda hungry waitim looking for a food haha ,0.0
17090,rt ramzpaul new ramzpaul video the wages of feminism the sad story of oksana shachko and femen ,2.0
17091,here comes the rain at least things should cool down now i have a heat rash ,2.0
17092,nikitaturino didnt get to see it it was sold out figures  my dad is just being difficult and putting unreasonable expectations on me,2.0
17093,oh boy i have nonpaying buyer    so sadddddd,2.0
17094,just drank  litters of water  im so thirsty   i still want more,2.0
17095,cant wait to get back training  havent played in like  weeks because of my knee ,2.0
17096,rightyo library times am gonna have to stay till late ,2.0
17097,i hate everything my meds arent working i want to kill myself everything that exist on this cursed planet shouldnt exist im lazy and uncomplete things that i used to like are no longer satisfying im doing things halfassed my impulsivity keeps fucking me in the ass and everything feels disgusting i want to beat the shit out of someone i want to destroy something i want to break my fucking hands i feel like im going to break or explodeand the worst thing is that its all my fault i did this to myself im the worst i wanted pain but its not even that horrible its incomplete just like the rest of the things in my life i keep on fucking myself over,3.0
17098,son ate all the cheesecake ,2.0
17099,boys make me sad why do i like them,1.0
17100,twilightstephie your mother is such a twitter star ihih ,0.0
17101,i wanna do something fun but have no clue what to do tre sleep amp  is taking a nap so its just me ,2.0
17102, i think i have a weakness for this sort of thing ,2.0
17103, naw i was trying to help you guys out lol technology is great ,0.0
17104,cientifiq  thats not funny thats really scary hun ,2.0
17105,mmkerr   love this pic you guys look great together ,0.0
17106,kryz i use firefox and i just clicked and dragged it to my link bar added you as a friend ,0.0
17107,tezra lol i know i know ,0.0
17108,coreyhathorn slumdog or dark night should win ,0.0
17109,holyst drop by    ,2.0
17110,cutting grass  its hott then getting the stuff for the pool up here long day,2.0
17111,want a lovely island vacationthen do not visit any of thesescary stuff  ,2.0
17112,robluketic when is five killers to be released  looking forward to seeing it ,0.0
17113,rt munchjin its sad bcos jin is sucha private person and it seems some of you guys are more interested in his family than himself some,1.0
17114,rt bukibanjo if any of you friends tell you they are depressed please encourage them to see a mental health professional or just keep wat,0.0
17115,feeling helpless when pets are ill  give my best to give them a great life,2.0
17116,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17117,every day i try and sort my life out and i get like a few days of things goes well then i fuck it up again god like its so hard i get so angry and grumpy all the time and like im aware of it when im being negative but i cant stop iti honestly think im driving my friends away and like ive gained so so much weight that i just cant shift and like everyone i know is dating and im literally so alone i think when youre a girl its also harder to like be moody or sad or fat like with guys you can be all of these things and still be successful and attractive like in films you never see a main character thats a girl but also sad or angry or fat and its so disheartening knowing my very existence goes against what society allows and like my last relationship ended so badly and i miss having a best friend in that way or even just someone i could have sex with like theres just no one i even like just now god even now i sound so whiny and like i am trying to fix things like not everything is bad and im pushing against it but i can never keep up the productive smiley self without slipping back into the im gonna smoke weed eat loads of food and switch between sleeping and watching the office for like days and days idk i think im just posting this for any advice or if anyone out there can relate i mean im only  im still hoping one day ill get longer and longer spells of the person who can leave the house and go to uni and does exercise till thats me all the time ,3.0
17118,pink im watching  right now its  hours of pure pnk ,0.0
17119,thank you throwaway account i rarely post on this sub but i always come here when im at my lowest it genuinly hurts to hear about others going through depression but the support and kind words this community has to offer is so fucking uplifting even if its not directed to me in specific it always makes me feel so much better to see how caring members of this community can be im posting this because after having some of the worst periods of my life this year and coming so close to ending it on multiple occasions the last few weeks have been amazing and i dont know if i couldve made it this far without you guys i know that this piece of shit illness isnt done with me yet im going to have bad days again and deep down it terrifies me but right now im confident and happy and thats all that matters for the first time in a long time i feel like i might have what it takes to face the bad days and you guys are one of the reasons for that so thank you so much i just hope this might help someone who feels like life is a miserable shit that isnt worthit because just a few months ago i felt the the same thing,3.0
17120,i feel like i dont matter and i shouldnt even try to connect with people its hard because in my mind what i am saying is rational its a fact that even if i disappear from this world nothing will change and people will continue with their livesfor example suppose i really like someone i would often give up before even trying because i will feel like i have nothing special to offer shes not going to be missing out on anything there are literally thousands and thousands of other people what difference do i make in this world i have attempted suicide before and almost succeeded if i wasnt found in time i feel myself slipping again i feel like my existence has no purpose whatsoever and i cant open up to anyone im so lonely my heart feels like its getting stabbed and its hard to breathe,3.0
17121,mental health awareness publication i am looking to start a publication that spreads peoples stories of mental health in order to raise awareness and help those going through similar situations email me at  if you are interested in sharing your storythanks,3.0
17122, you forget to mention me damn   hey u wana go on the boat  nite my direct deposit kick in  midnitelol,2.0
17123,i miss ashley so much right now ,2.0
17124,  pwned by a halo pro ,2.0
17125,im tired of everything going bad everything always goes to shitim so sick of this twisted game of life its like everything has to go bad i can never have a happy day the first time in awhile i had a good day i got up and ran errands i went grocery shopping and got things ive been needing i saw my dad and talked to him i got phone calls to set up interviews for jobs and then i checked on a law school application and got denied i applied primarily due to convenience i would get instate and be close to family but it still stings im just so tired of trying to be normal or to do things i just want to crawl in bed and sleep forever im trying to achieve my dream but failing at getting into law school doing bad on the lsat and so on im just done with everything im just sooo tired and just dont want to do anything anymore im ready to just never wake up ,3.0
17126,tiffanyblews dude i want to go tomorrow just to talk to them though i dont i can stay for the whole show ,2.0
17127,therev  when do you come back to texas i had to miss yalls last concert in belton i didnt get enough money soon enough  ,2.0
17128,tearing myself away from my computer to enjoy a low humidity  lunch hour courtesy of mother nature   thanks ma,0.0
17129,i have to wait an hour before i can put my ac on ,2.0
17130,it hurts when youre being ignored by the only person whose attention is the only thing you want in the world its killing me me seeing my self getting ignored by the only person i care about is really painful yes i understand it might be a sign but still its painful and i cant wait to die the only thing i actually care about right now is death fucking hate myself,3.0
17131,petedarby just give me power of attorney over your fiances  it will be easier for us all that way ,0.0
17132, will be grumpy tomorrow and hes being assessed for autism spectrum disorder  hard to assess if all he does is grumble and cry ,2.0
17133,my moms worries annoyin me to point of losing any sort of will to do any better now shes crying cause i didnt make up my fucking bed begging me to see the doctor while i really appreciate any kind of concerns over my mental state it doesnt work just like that eventually she made me feel even worse  worse then utter shit i am,3.0
17134,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
17135,how do you do things for yourself i have such a hard time showering and brushing my teeth like i only do these things to avoid further embarrassment like when i have to go out or something ive tried setting alarms on my phone and reminders on my calendar and i tell myself how bad it is for my health not to do these things but when the reminders pop up i just dismiss them how do you remind yourself to selfcare,3.0
17136,this the first saturday im in this early in eons this is when a wife comes in handy ,2.0
17137,sevendotzero doh spies everywhere good to get one out the way on a monday feeling very virtuous now ,0.0
17138,rt  depression in children its real its here and its not going away yoga meditation and fun in school is possibl ,1.0
17139,kissty heard it was so much better cant update jailbroke mine  haha,2.0
17140,boysnoize alright ,0.0
17141,tommcfly why we didnt have meet and greet in brazil the videos in argentina are making me so sad  it isnt fair,2.0
17142,i cant live like this anymore  everything started after my high school until then i was happy person with lot of friends i was good fotballer but after it  years after now i worked only  month no work after hard to find something that can i enjoy only think i like to do is playing online games on pc have lot of online friends i love spend time with but now i feel alone for like  and half year crazy things on mind and i got love for my family sister brothers and parens sadly my father had bad accident and hes on hospital dont remember anything cant speak or walk now i remember times when he was ok and i cry all nights that i didnt spend more time or watch movies or just be with himremember all of you family is everything before new year i instaled instagram and see everyone happy celebrating and i was just mad that i spending time at home for  year in a rowi had great friends in past i love all of them help all of them but now no one even call no one cares i got only few younger friends and im  without future i love my family so much but i think im not too good to fit in in this world  peace all ,3.0
17143,im so sad to hear this all my  condolences to him and his family  stay strong tae,1.0
17144, if people would not buy at that price they would not sell at that price quotthe price the market will barequot ,2.0
17145,carriemoon technically it can be either octopuses or octopi and very rarely octopods depending on where you live  usa octopuses ,0.0
17146,rt kaaivenchy having anxiety is the most silently painful experience it makes no sense and you sit there alone and suffer for an unknow,1.0
17147,self realisation text i came home today  after a night out and was told it was my mums birthday  iforgot after asking she told me she was turning  it hurt me how i never knew how old she was how i caused so much pain and suffering to someone yet care so little about themim sorry mum for everything ive done to you i promise i will make  and the rest of your life amazing,3.0
17148,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17149,i feel like its a curse to be gay especially from my cultural background i hate being treated like shit from my own family its not healthy for my mental health and i think ive had enough i just wanna die,3.0
17150,sivinkit thats what everyone in the office keeps saying i dont think so ,0.0
17151,i watched man vs food for like  hours the other day ,2.0
17152,is loving the sunshine and the fact she only has  exams left ,0.0
17153,five hours fourty two minutes and  seconde till the three day weekend starts but whos counting ,0.0
17154,taliarusso not sure why  maybe i like your spirit yah thats it ,0.0
17155,i dont want to think about wednesday but i cant help it ,2.0
17156,itsnickjonas we saw you in georgetown dc today you smiled but your big friends told us to go away ,2.0
17157,rt noelledelray a must retweet for ladies sad but true its happened to me 💔 girls ive got your back httpstcogeyhfkmtdl,0.0
17158,meds are working but its made me more aware how empty and pathetic my life is i have been taking antidepressants for  months now and seeing a therapist twice a month for the same amount of time the beginning of last year was one of the worst periods of my life until summer came along and things spiraled so out of control that i was seriously considering suicide but upon my mothers threatening request to get help i was forced into seeing a professional and take meds the pills worked but the therapist didnt i was and still am a nervous wreck that i could barely function only now the pain and anxiety is not as bad anymore however taking away the pain has opened my mind to actually reflect on my life and why i still exist and i dont like what i see i have no more friends i hate my family ive never had an so i never thought id find me this pathetic and devoid of purpose at  i still cry myself to sleep at night occasionally but knowing how much time ive wasted away as a worthless person the silence and emptiness is becoming unbearable lately i truly think this will be my last year if things dont go right until i turn  in june i give up no amount of meds and expensive therapy will turn that around nothing matters anymore,3.0
17159,richardwatkinsj she just gets our names mixed upi just think its normal for her well i hope ,2.0
17160,sat in harry ramsdens looking out at the sea waiting for my fish amp chips ,0.0
17161,my story tldr just a selfanalysesfor some reason i feel the urge to share my story with the internet in hopes that it will make me feel at ease i guessi dont even know where to start with my background i guessim  and cant even damn believe that originally from a developing country and a dysfunctional home i think ive been depressed my whole life its probably genetics my father suffers from schizophrenia and his mother suicided long time ago i suspect she wasnt mentally healthy either being an only child i spent most of my early childhood worrying that my dad would kill my mom as he was violent towards her on regular basis in front of me i was around  and in kindergarten at that time and i dont know much about psychology but im absolutely certain that this time in my life shaped some traits of mine im still battling with till current time i almost felt responsible for my fathers anger attacks which my mom tried to excuse with his illness and for whatever crazy childbrain reason i thought that the more unhappy i was the more likely my father was to stay calm memories of those domestic attacks still haunt me and i think i developed somewhat obsessive behaviour when i was reminding myself to hide my jumpingrope every night before i went to bed so that it wouldnt be used as a murder weapon another thing that happened to me at this time i learned how to be a loner i made my first kindergartenfriend and naturally wanted to share with her my mom however would tell me that i shouldnt share stuff that was going on at home with anyone i didnt listen to her and soon my friend got to know that my father was crazy she told her parents and got scared afterwards i remember that tears were involved my mom could of course not resist the temptation of i told you so and the lesson for me was that i could never ever trust anyone again so i played with chairs and then read books once i learned how to read for the many following years of my life until i finally made another friendwhen i turned  however my life was about to be changed drastically my parents got divorced finally the day when my father moved out was one of the happiest i have ever had and for the longest time i used to not understand sad children of divorced parents and i thought that now my life will finally be good but the abuse didnt stop and now my mother was the source of it an overly strict controlfreak she was trying to bring me up as a humble and intelligent human being but combined with the traumatic beginning of my life it only gave me extreme anxiety i was a loner and a nerd straighta student during my school years used to focus on my grades most of all and to become an ambitious young person my mother was a successful in her career and held a lot of authority in fact she works in tech it might not seem special to you but at that time and place especially for a woman it was kind of a big deal i however had the biggest passion for literature and writing essays about all the books i have read and how they impacted my teenage mind i would stay up all night to finish my work my literature teacher was my best friend yeah i was one of those weirdos who was friends with teachers and to be honest even if i try to make fun of it now i really really miss those times of my life when i was for once truly inspired as weird and corny as it sounds it sometimes makes me cry so what was the issue  you would ask assuming that you stuck this far lol my mom didnt want me to be a writer or anyone else she wanted me to go to the same college and same faculty where she went convinced me it was the only feasible option to become someone in life and i should forget about all the writing bullcrap in fact she used to yell at me and smash the math book on the table while saying this it was precisely  years ago and i am actually twice as old now but surprisingly i am still not over it so i did i have a bachelors in computer science and i am not really good at it because i never cared for it i feel like that once i became a student and started doing things because i had to i basically started to lose sense of self i graduated several years ago and for whatever reason decided i wanted to do masters abroad to be honest it was more about moving to a western country and from mom more than anything i asked my mom if i could do another bachelors in literally anything else i depended on her financially and of course she said no i didnt fight for it because i have never been a fighter and i hate that about myselfso i got full scholarship and got into one of the most prestigious european universities in field of tech and moved out it was hard at times especially because i didnt speak the language of the country my study program was in english but the worst part began with the semester i can just tell that it was hard and lonely and isolated here i feel like i cant fully express the whole horribleness of it i didnt really have friends as i am not the most outgoing person as the other computer science students cultural differences also played a role i guess but i shortly found myself in a dark place mentally i didnt do drugs or even alcohol but i feel like i didnt have to as my mind would fuck me up without that i really wasnt used to be one of the weakest students in class and didnt know how to handle it i couldnt ask for help i simply could not i know now that it was a mistake but even then i wouldnt be able to act differently even if i were to go through this again i developed a big impostersyndrome felt like i dont deserve this opportunity and like all the other people were so much better than me academically everyone struggled immensely though to be fair so i spent my earlyto mid  being deeply depressed and suicidal luckily to me i started a relationship that lead to a marriage so i stayed here despite the fact that i never graduated my so was the one to convince me to drop out because he couldnt see me like this anymore so i did drop out almost a year ago but i am still processing that deep inside my heart i am embarrassed of that i dont really want to study in this field anymore but to be honest i kinda like studying and would like to get a degree in a similar field but with less technical stuff eg design i developed some professional interests during my studies but its very hard for me to become jobready with no guidance whatsoever i feel like i struggle deeply with identity crisis it means so much for me to be someone professionally but at the same time since it means so much for me and is so emotional i am stupidly afraid to do something i am not the bravest or most badass person to be honest moving abroad was my biggest life achievement so far i know it is something but my toxic brain makes me feel like not enough no matter what i do pretty often sometimes i just desperately want to be someone anyone just not to feel like a useless shit all the time but at the same time i am terrified to make a mistake and choose the wrong path again i often think about my skills and i think i am not bad with languages and writing and i would love to write but the languages make it more complicated english is not my native language lame excuse and it makes me feel very selfconscious i dont want to write in my native language anymore as i feel no connection with itpeople who speak it i am currently learning the language of the country i am in and dont know where it is going to lead me so that is the source of my depression i guess despite me acknowledging all the good stuff i have in life its not all peaches and cream but lets face it lots of people have it way worse than i do right nowi am sorry for literally like the longest post in reddit history but i feel like my story is not as special and sensitive anymore after saying it out loud thank you,3.0
17162,finnishing the best discussion of my whole life ,0.0
17163, hours no hope ,2.0
17164, morning karenyou in work ,0.0
17165,man my uncle is doing terrible right now my uncle bought a miniature golf course the guy he bought it from was  years old and wanted to retire he spent about  on the golf course which was half of his savingsbut here is the thing to manage the golf course he had to move out of richmond virginia to akron ohio he bought a new house before selling his old house only to find that his attic has tons of water damage the repairs itself will cost about  when he only spent  on the house in the first place this was in the  the worst part about it is the house he bought in akron which is a really expensive city to live in cost about half a million he took out loans expecting to pay it off because of how profitable miniature golf courses are especially in a really upscale place like akron ohiobut the story gets worse the golf course itself has tons of problems most of the clubs arent pga standard the old owner was disobeying the law and dodging taxes to maintain a profit when my uncle became a new owner the pga did a mandatory inspection fining my uncle  and forced him to spend another  in repairs and equipment upgrades on top of that now that the golf course has such a bad reputation he is losing business and people are going bowling instead for those of you that dont play golf bowling and golf are rival sports this is sinking my uncle into a serious depression costing him tons of money in therapyso anyway my family goes out to akron to cheer him up taking him to the olive garden but my bitch sister couldnt just be normal she starts screaming at my uncle for supporting joe biden instead of bernie sanders my sister then killed his pet goldfish he always takes to restaurants with him for good luck my uncle has had this goldfish for  years my sister made such a huge scene that my entire family including my uncle is banned from olive garden forever since my family especially my uncle is super italian this was a huge blow to his egoso basically my uncle is in serious debt his miniature golf course is failing my sister murdered his goldfish and on top of all of that he is also banned from olive garden even on sundays,3.0
17166,lilyscandalous the perks of your job are running around in a bikini in cannes awesome job ,0.0
17167,finding medical professionals is hard ive had depressing episodes for some years and the one im currently in is worse than those before i never needed proffessional help or at least i told myself that recently i realized that it was a huge mistake that i never did anything about my mental health but suppressing it more and morei really wanna change and turn my situation around but asking for help is fucking hardi talked to my family doctor about it because she was the first professional person that came to my mindshe checked my blood values to make sure im physically okay and then told me i should talk to a neurologist i had trouble to even call one and waited a long time before i even did the first one told me to call somwhere else because they arent specialized for things like that but if i couldnt find someone else i can call again to make an appointmentthe second one told me to call somewhere else because they were fullthe the third one i called didnt even answer the phone even though i called multiple timesso im back to calling the first one i guessthe thing is that i dont wanna call them during workschool because i dont want anybody to know what this is all about and most are closed in the afternoonand even if i get an appointment with an neurologist there is no assurence that i dont have to look for another doctor nextthis is stressing me out far more than it should and asking somebody else to make my appointments is out of the question i cant get my shit done in general how am i supposed to care for my mental health if everything else is more important i cant do this just alongside everything else without me being in a worse condition than i already ami hate to be like this i hate that i dont have my shit together so some phone calls stress me out fucking bad,3.0
17168,happiness is startrek and biscuits   khannnnn,0.0
17169, srsly,2.0
17170,youre welcome  it seems we have a few things in common ,0.0
17171,joe grand i am using this medium to alert 🚨 every one on an hacker joe grand  a reliable and efficient hacker that does facebook hack snapchat hack instagram hack email accounts hack email interception hack grade changes hack website crashed hack website and blogs hack cyber tracking retrieval of deleted text messages retrieval of lost filedocuments erase criminal records hack databases hacki made him my person hacker due to work he has done for me contact joe via gmail joegrandzzzzzgmailcom,3.0
17172,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
17173,banana split is up im off good night twitterverse it was nice tweeting ,0.0
17174,maxsterism naisee is it bad that i can see lens flares all arond me while listening to it xd cant really catch what theyre saying tho ,2.0
17175,iwrotesham fastsooo jinglebelle jessicavalenti wallowing in pain and suffering the idolisation of victims are ,2.0
17176,morning world ,0.0
17177,watchin a man apart  when vin diesals wife dies its so sad ,2.0
17178,i feel alone derealized numb  yet broken inside im just  and i feel like im freaking out my whole life is shit i believe i went through different phases of depression throughout my life i just never admitted to it last year was it i lost it and i got into drugs by the end of the year i ended up kinda overdosing on mdma and thats when everything started i had out of body experience and when i came back  life was never the same i cannot sleep right i cannot talk right i cannot feel any emotions besides fear  when i fear losing my mind once and for all i get a little delusional because i believe i am destroyed inside i feel this huge void inside of myself time goes by too fast i dont wanna lose my friends i dont wanna lose my family it sounds dumb now but every day is the same  and the months go by so quickly i dont wanna end up alone but i feel so alone inside that it makes me crazy ive got a loving girlfriend a company that ive started by myself  i achieved huge solo world travels but now i dont feel like theres anything left that id wanna achieve i just feel like getting lucky in life made me cursed and more depressed  because when i had to worry about people treating me like shit about my mom abandoning me or abusing alcohol and not giving a fuck for a single moment of my life i actually felt sorry for myself i had a lot of feelings inside of myself a lot of faith but when i escaped all of this  i just dont feel like the old me anymore i am no longer connected and even worse  drugs made me feel like im dead inside i dont wanna feel this way anymore but even if i let it out  it doesnt satisfy me i went to doctors i was prescribed ssris and antipsychotic meds but after i used them for two months i went cold turkey being scared that they would only make me feel worse in a long term i just want to live a normal life i just want to be normal but i cant i understand all of my symptoms but i dont understand myself how humans work why do we exist in this but not a different form the idea of time makes me fucking sick why does everything and everyone have to die i dont know maybe i broke my emotions with weed mdma a lot of porn and masturbation to kill off my fucking stress and fear i just cant cop with this anymorei dont wanna give up but this emptiness numbness and the feeling on the back of my head that i would describe as irrational fear of existence and existing make me feel like my mind is just not gonna be able to continue this anymore like it will go into a total amnesia state or a total delusional state or that i will start hearing voices or whatever all of this makes me so scared because i know how badly i fucked up getting into drugs with such a mindset into first placesorry for being chaotic and that this post is so long,3.0
17179,is anyone else tired of the fact that if you dont intended to hurt yourself or others youre stable and seemingly fine for now like if you dont know what to do other than wait four weeks and come back maybe tell me that for once id much rather waste time going through specialists or testing then just continuing to plod forward under a muted anhedonic state  no google i did not mean hedonistic ,3.0
17180,ponyy i believe i am awaiting u please give me meaghens photos ,2.0
17181,so excited wiley peterson asked john to come help at another christian rodeo camp he is doing but he wont be home for long on sunday ,2.0
17182,im such an idiot stupid bitch why cant i just die already for fucks sake why do i keep lying that i can do better than this i fucking cant do shit everything i do ends up being a disaster my life is a series of fucked up situations,3.0
17183,demara curnew all this talk of wieners is making me hungry  gonna have a showeryou coming tmi tmi tmi,2.0
17184,spicebabyba lol good morning canadian lover ,0.0
17185,aubreyoday bout to watch american high school psyched ,0.0
17186,thedebbyryan i love all the quotes you put on here ,0.0
17187,hopes holiday will end soon  boring  httpplurkcompyueko,2.0
17188,tommcfly i cant go to the show today because im in another city im very sad ,2.0
17189,im at an art gallery yay ,0.0
17190,  clean me,2.0
17191,magicpotion omg has bushel been missing for all that time you never replied when i asked ,2.0
17192,i still cant believe dixon passed away he has came a long way i was just talkin  him last week at e cafeteria why ,2.0
17193,pizza hut finally tuned into some good music coldplay ,0.0
17194,rosietratt happiest day of the year dammit wish i planned to make the most of it did even get to listen to you and  today ,2.0
17195,home in wednesday  oh god i hope so,0.0
17196,needs a holiday staying in england sucks especially now our sunny week has ended i hate cold rainy weather ,2.0
17197,had such an eventful and beautiful day and an amazing night  i love my life hah amp i love citizennick and all the times weve shared,0.0
17198,im looking forward to going out for people of power fancy dress night im going as a gangster   days til im back in roda corfu xxx,0.0
17199,rt skypetherapist dont be a prisoner of recurrent anxiety it is a habit that can be changed through mindfulness therapy ,2.0
17200,i hate getting porn tweets i get happy because i think i have a follower then i click on it and theres a big wenis starting at me ,2.0
17201,paulinemj hi   did my twitter update about film red eye appear on my profile online i note that it has now disappeared,0.0
17202,feel too lazy to drive homemaybe i could move back in with my parents ,0.0
17203,anxiety makes reading facial expressions harder study suggests  the university paper ,1.0
17204,its far too warm outside to be at work ,2.0
17205,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
17206,the shit my boyfriend deals with makes me sad,2.0
17207,yay i get to sit in bed the whole day  fun fun,0.0
17208,why is it that even when i get woken up early im still not in time for macdonalds breakfast ,2.0
17209,back home from a great night at the ex with caroline got some really nice pictures wish  had come with ,2.0
17210,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,1.0
17211,is exhaustedd amp off to bedd goodnighttt ♥ working on the music againn tomorrow ,0.0
17212,boyfriend doesnt need me in his life i had a fight with my boyfriend and now were not talking hes going about his life as if im invisible and it makes me question why he has me a part of his life in the first place the last time this happened it ended with a lot of stitches due to impulsivity and self harm ,3.0
17213,my mom is my greatest burden even when i feel like im doing better than usual my mom finds a way to guilt trip me and make me feel worse she never acknowledges my accomplishments and whenever i try and talk to her she just gets really mad at me and makes me feel awful she acts like she knows more about my situation than i do and basically disregards anything i disagree with her on by saying its my brain playing tricks on me she always says i never work for myself and tells me i need to be doing things differently even when i prove to her that her methods dont work for me  im scared to confront her about this because whenever i do something she doesnt like she says im ruining our relationship and that i just dont know anything she refuses to take responsibility for anything and wont talk to me when i need her to she refuses to believe that anything she does can have a negative affect on me even though she always clutches her pearls whenever i say something she doesnt like even a little bit she likes to believe she does more to help me than i do the truth is she has no idea what im going through and probably thinks im just faking it at this point she denies any logic or reasoning i use to come to my conclusions just because she thinks something different and has no way of proving it whenever i ask her to explain why what im saying is false and what shes saying is true she just gets super mad and says stuff like were not in a court of law or this isnt a debate competition she refuses to acknowledge that basic logic and reasoning is required to make any claim or deny any of mine at the end of the day shell say or do anything that makes her feel like shes right and shes better than me and that im wrong and a worthless piece of scum that she can manipulate and have control over,3.0
17214,i just want to cry ,2.0
17215,baked  cheesecakes both cracked ,2.0
17216,is sick of english coursework and sick of maths revision for her test in june  help,2.0
17217,my gf needs help and idk what to do my gf has suffered and recovered from depression before but now with the lockdown and being stuck with her own thoughts is starting to slip back into it again im doing everything i can to support her giving her somewhere judgementfree to talk about her emotions offering advice when its asked for and trying to show her in any way possible that she can get through this but as much as i help she seems to just be falling into it further shes pretty much stopped eating just snacking when shes extremely hungry and ive suggested trying to pick up painting or something creative and she said she doesnt like that anyway shes desperately asking me to help her find a way to get through this and ive been trying to think of something she can do while shes in lockdown to at least distract herself but i cant think of anything else im so scared that shes gonna do something to harm herself again after going almost  years clean of it and it really pains me to see her like this any advice on how to help is welcome i just cant think of anything else myself,3.0
17218,back in the carolinas to refresh my legs ,0.0
17219,oooh cool my birthday is exactly in a month from now ,0.0
17220,hannahsheree hannah  and yes tho i never used to get cravings this late ,2.0
17221, the green  ,0.0
17222, already where are you going saturday i miss you already and youre only half over ,2.0
17223,my boyfriend finally got another cell phone now i can call him without all those hassles of calling everyone else yay ,0.0
17224,i hate myself i hate myself because i always feel like im fucking things up no matter what i do,3.0
17225,my misery is my fault i finally got fired from my café workplace for missing so many days by saying im sick truth is i dont want to work i dont want to do anything its not just laziness i dont think  its anxiety i mess up during work it traumatises me every time i hate this,3.0
17226,i feel extremly guilty over my life ive been mistreated and used by other peoplethere were times that i made a lot of mistakesi dont have any friends and more than  people hate mein my class everybody hates meim  im lost and i have extreme depression and anxiety,3.0
17227,mileycyrus     i had to make a bg for it ,0.0
17228,i need help hey first time using this subreddit i came across some posts of people asking for advice on how to help your partner with depressionmotivation etc  i have trouble helping my girl who is diagnosed with clinical depression its something new to me so i dont really know how to go with it and how to give your partner motivation to change their bad habits and help them bounce back and get out of the bad routine for them im very aware that i cannot fix their depression i just have issues giving them the right comfort she doesnt seem to find a reason to even start doing something for example whenever i tell her that motiving herself to work out or eat healthy might work for her she tells me whats the point though so it leaves me in a really confusing and helpless state where i feel like im not doing good enough,3.0
17229, jaaaaaaaaaames yay you have a twitter ,0.0
17230,wayhay  off too see nickelback in glasgow tomorrow then going to turkey on holiday on monday for  week  happy days ,0.0
17231,sanasaleem   yeah its idiotic  did you watch the videos arundhati roy made valid points,0.0
17232,heading off to school  lots o tests today,2.0
17233,i need to get the hell out of my house now ,2.0
17234,shemilyeonka hey you have a twitter ,0.0
17235,hiccupkid oh btw i wos at coles with achok gettin sum bueno didnt c u ,2.0
17236, apple store bbl ,0.0
17237,am looking forward to watching twilight with sister tonight and doctor who with nephew  hence i shant be online tonight till late,0.0
17238,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
17239,no clear purpose to keep myself going i keep asking myself how did i manage to get myself to where i am now and i still dont even have a clear answer im unemployed not perusing a majorno license barely sociableno clear goalloss of motivationlack of self worthand just being an overall disappointmenti cant blame anyone but myself for where i am i need to find something to grasp onto to give myself a purpose to keep going but even im left dumbfoundedi shouldnt keep this mindset that everything is okay when it clearly fucking isnti dont feel suicidal nor killing myself and im too scared to even do that i just feel like i really dont have a future with the direction ive been heading,3.0
17240,rt  i can feel my anxiety crawling back just by looking at this ,0.0
17241,i ddnt notce u coudnt  tnbase i hope all of u kno tht i relly cn spljust tht u cnt say much in  charctrs  ,0.0
17242,ajaymilan i need to pay closer attention to my twitter damn i should have been there let me know about the next one ,0.0
17243,henryandfriends hello im back  i just been to humans palms and arms ,0.0
17244,  hours of standing ,2.0
17245,kayeita i will do that ,0.0
17246,mayhaps im sad and need a distraction,2.0
17247,curveballmami nope jimmy said seattle will not happen  apparently denver might be lucky and get him,2.0
17248,i want to get help ive been battling with depression since my mother kicked my alcoholic father out of the house while i was visiting my grandparents the summer before my first year in middle school im still grateful she had the strength to do this and i dont ever think ill find a way to repay her for this i havent seen him since and i would like to keep it that way i am now  i just finished college and am working on finding a job but it seems harder and harder to push myself to do the things i know i need toin high school i never decided to get treatment because i figured it was just experiencing the usual growing up stuff in high school the thing is it hasnt stopped and though it isnt crippling i want to get help the problem i have is that im already seeing a psychiatrist for adhd and am using vyvanse almost regularly the issue with all of these adhd meds is it makes me feel like im not  myself on them but i use them anyways because i have goals in life and i want to make my mother proud so she sees that her sacrifices were all worth it i know this might sound silly but now im afraid to try and get treatment because i fear ill lose part of myself to any medications that they give me im afraid ill be a different person on the meds and that my happiness will be fake i also feel like these fears i have about depression meds are just bullshit ive seen from some form of media tldr i dont want to waste anymore of my life fighting this hard if i can make the fight easier but i also dont want to lose myselfany advice or personal experience would be appreciated ,3.0
17249,wanting a date to grad ,2.0
17250,suicidal with a vengeance i dont think id actually kill myself but i sometimes look at the state of the world and think i should check outsomeone close to me was almost raped my mother made excuses for the perpetrator just because he was transgender i havent forgiven her i never will i sometimes think that i should commit suicide and leave a note telling her that its her fault shes so dogmatic that that might be the only way for her to change her mind she downplayed and politicized a fucking rape thats one way to put a bullet in the head of any relationship what ive learned from this experience is that revenge in many cases is fully justifiable the idea that revenge is inherently wrong or even makes you as bad as the person who wronged you is beyond evil its inhuman to witness the rape of someone close to you and to not be homicidally enraged by such a thing requires a soul so fractured and distorted that its reasonable to call into question the very humanity of the person in question someone like that definitely should not be trustedrevenge is an extremely important part of the healing process to deny that to victims of crimes such as rape and murder is fucking pathological its a sadistic sort of pseudoempathy declaring yourself as the most virtuous person because you even see the value in the life of a rapist while this inevitably serves as an attack on the victim forever chaining them to their trauma i fully support capital punishment for the same reasonits been almost two years this still keeps me up at night i dont like my mother anymore i dont trust anybody i feel as though the entire world is evil that there isnt a soul out there who is on my side i see drug use casual sex distorted relationships between men and women rape apologism phony moral posturing and hypocrisy every day its not quite enough for me to pull the trigger but id be lying if i said it didnt put the thought in my head on a daily basis ,3.0
17251,alpcoterie great find the stuart weitzmans ive been lusting after and they dont have my size ,2.0
17252,sujamthe  for me no   laid off in dec  still looking have a blast please tweet lots so i can feel like im there ,2.0
17253,your mental health comes before anything remember that,2.0
17254,come celebrate cinco de may  chilis tonight with a presidente margarita made by yours truly ,0.0
17255,most of my friends get out of work early todaynot me   yet,2.0
17256,anxiety depression and always needing to look forward to something does anyone else ever feel this way i always need something to look forward to idk why but i have to make things up in my mind to look forward to otherwise i get more down and depressed so weather it me sports dinner something i ordered online idk but today i thought about it and wanted to ask if anyone felt this or if anyone else has any insight ,3.0
17257,leaving moms after another good round of train  time under  score ,0.0
17258,if your at britney as well as me tonight have fun im in the  lounge ,0.0
17259,theres a mini carnival at eastridge stepheezy   my team is strong,0.0
17260,guytustin im  and i have a lot bigger things going on than that  i wish it was that easy,2.0
17261,sahtaylor awww yeah i know and nick said he can do a good aussie accent so i want to hear it lol ,0.0
17262,megsandbacon a real life example of what  looks like,0.0
17263,i dont want to die but i dont know how to keep going first post here because i honestly and truly feel like ive reached the end of the line like my life is actually overim  years old and just recently graduated from university in may i live in my parents home with my sister my parents are out of the country indefinitely leaving my sister and i to take care of everything i say my sister and i but im the one who is taking care of everything i didnt work while i did school but i had student loans saved up enough to pay the bills and still have a bit to help me move out my sister spent a period not working leaving me to pay all the house bills and everything on top of that she took one of my checks and linked my bank account to her paypal and spent like crazy   now i only have  thousand dollars in the bank that is enough to maybe take care of one more month of bills ive been looking for a job but no response yet everywhere seems to be looking for experience the one thing i dont have it honestly feels like ive reached the end of the line i have nothing left and theres no helping me i cant call the suicide hotline and be like hey i honestly feel like dying because i dont have any money left because what are they going to do the only thing that can help me right now is money im so lost and afraid and confused and i so desperately want to get my life under control but i dont know how i need help but i dont even know where to get it from,3.0
17264,wildobs oh  thank you  love watching the birds come down we have juveniles too  well wishes to you,0.0
17265,rt kanchangupta sad fact is that increasingly executive wants judiciary to direct lawmaking so that government can say our hands were t,1.0
17266,i feel like a big meanie  i hope i did the right thing,2.0
17267, glad you liked it  it was the work of spikethelobster,0.0
17268,i want to just runaway and forget my old lifethere is nothing happy about this life ,2.0
17269,sick with a flu like thing ,2.0
17270,sweetlibertine um glad you enjoyed it ,0.0
17271,sorry for double post ,2.0
17272,has a feeling that she wont be going to bed till late tonight  eeeeeeeesh gonna read some more double cross after bb ,0.0
17273,still needing to find more actors darn it ,0.0
17274,fuuuck i hate allergiescoldfluwhateverthehell this is ,2.0
17275,richardgable  ull hav to hear this u guys lost against netherlands  rofl,0.0
17276,rt bayart please retweet amp check out gt  things only people with social anxiety would understand httpstcoxymbntsaur,2.0
17277,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
17278,at lax again i wanna b home tho in bed asleep im tired ,2.0
17279,i had an epiphany this morningbut i freaking forgot it on the way to work  brainfail,2.0
17280,demandadabarber greatest restaurant ever we used to have  here then it closed amp they started showing commercials constantly low blow ,2.0
17281,in my room using my new chanel nail polishi love it i just  want dream tonight please ,2.0
17282,merediithhh you only twittered that because you know id be extremely jelous  i want ,2.0
17283,goodluck for the exams my bey  todays mathematics right me love you always ♥ ,0.0
17284,syntheticseason that is a beautiful drawing aha  where are you off to x,0.0
17285,ciaraftw yes i saw her  she was behind the merch tables talking to some girl,0.0
17286,rt parkermolloy i should just log off for the night before i get too sad on here night all,1.0
17287,followfriday  rockobrocko robtyrie mikeminer benlucier mathewi neilmorton rhh shawnhawaii brundlefly,0.0
17288,joeymcintyre bee girl here i cant wait to see ya buddy amp ill try to get my book donations to every show i do hope u are having fun ,0.0
17289, fer sure  packing sucks we just moved here in feb before that we had just moved in aug move move move,2.0
17290,i envy my best friends relationship life amp its making me depressed recently ive been feeling down and not myself usually im a happy  year old thats outgoing and loves talking to people but all i can think about is how my best friend gets girls and i dont its been making my overall mood a mess for over a week nowi know i know it doesnt really matter at  but i still worry about it whenever we hang out we get on the topic of girls and he tells me about all these different girls he got with and i try not to show the upsetting feeling i get inside he isnt trying to show off im sure but for me he is i have to try so hard to get a girlfriend and he can just pick any girl he likes and hook up with her its making me envy him so much and i cant help it today he was telling me about how he got blowjobs from multiple girls last summer on the beach and i tried my best to keep a straight face but i kept feeling my heart drop inside i was inside playing video games last summer while he was getting blowjobs on the beach im just confused right now what to do i literally cannot get my mind off of it and its ruining everything ,3.0
17291,is going to the lake today wishes my bf would go too ,2.0
17292,montrealfamily yeah that  is always such a precarious balance thanks for the ideas im just surprised at how much its happening ,2.0
17293,angeleyedgodess haha okay yes i thought it had something to do with that but like i said sleep deprivation ,2.0
17294,dodgrile have a play with some jquery ,0.0
17295,ciscogiii apparently they want photoid for the monthly contract to prevent fraud certainly did that sales fail ,2.0
17296,yep im mia for the next few hours will try to tweet when i can i hate weekends ,2.0
17297,daskateboardkid i know ,2.0
17298,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,1.0
17299,i asked you to stay for me and now im the one whos leaving ,2.0
17300,rt jamilahlemieux that unattended baby in the window makes me anxious ,2.0
17301,i dont drive too fast lol ppl r weird guess am not gonna work netime soon sigh ,0.0
17302,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
17303, i almost broke down and bought a patrol but im a broke teacher any discounts for educators that travel heavily ,0.0
17304, oh now thats a hot visual ,0.0
17305,dgtized yeahwalt kelly is hilarious and fabulous myself and abraham and misterslim grew up reading them  fond memories ,0.0
17306,munching on chocolate covered coffee beans ,0.0
17307,i originally posted this on rdeadbedrooms a user suggested that a dead bedroom is not the onlybiggest problem i have i just want this out there no need to reply first things firsti fucking love you 		youre the world to me  					your eyes your smile your stupid jokes i love all of it   					i dont want to have to stop loving you  					i think i never will stop loving you whatever happens  					you make me happy in a lot of ways  					you feel like a real real girlfriend to me  im fucking depressed	i love you  					i dont love how we are together  					im really not satisfied with us  					how can you  					why am i so obsessed with sex  					its not like i want it allday  					id love it but id probably get tired after an hour or a bit more  					last year i thought i was a perv  					im not a perv  					what i feel is a normal feeling but not a good sign in a relationship  					im not depressed because of only this  					but problems come and go but this one stays  i want to fix this		but you must understand the problem  					you dont understand the problem  					or you didnt tell me  					im so scared that you dont understand  					how unbelievably sad i am  im sad				i wish we were compatible in this part of our relationship  					because it seems like we fit together extraordinarily well on all other parts  					it really really really really makes me sad that i cant seem to change this    					weve been having conversations about this for close to two years now  					most of the time  i dont mention it  					i think you must think im a perv  					you must think its all i think about  					maybe it is  					maybe its a lot more important to me than to you  					i want to give you all my love all of it  					but it all comes in one package  					you either open the package and i give you everything i have  					or you keep it closed and the rest will die off slowly  					i feel it happening  					i want to give you everything but it doesnt happen that often anymore  					i just dont have the energy motivation  					i think about you less and less  i think you could live forever without what i need to live  i think were not compatible after all  i want to change our relationship back to what it was at the beginning  you said a few times that thats not going to happen  people change    true  so maybe its coming to an end  am i the only one that feels this  i cant be right  im thinking about this almost  even when youre with me  dont you feel it  i dont want to be pleasured i want to pleasure  i dont want the pressure faster yeah easy for you to say you didnt wait for this a week  weeks a month for this moment  you dont really care i think youre happy when i finish finally done now we can go back to our phone guitar hero or whatever else  but its not about finishing for me  i want the love  the warmth  god my life sucks so much  is this my own fault  is it karma  i just want to kill myself  then i dont have to either  break up and kill myself afterwards because of how much pain i give you  continue to live the same life and die at  with a heart full of regret  why dont we ever just do it when we come home why is there always such a wall between us  why  fucking why  nah dont stop with your mirena you dont like condoms  you know what i dont like withering away waiting for an opportunity i feel it that you dont like sex at all  im sorry if you ever read this please forgive me theres probably so much happened in your life that led to this pointi felt the need to type this because my life is just   go to work          think about these notes  write these notes   go home             think about these notes stop thoughts with weed   sleep                  for  hrs   go to work             go home   meet you   maybe intimacy maybe maybe a bit fulfilling   sleep  endless loop  i dont have freedom like you do  youd argue you dont have freedom  but thats your own choice  yeah yeah get mad but you forget that im your other half  what you feel i feel  i think its completely normal that i feel that its your own choice  it affects me as well  i fucking hate my life  i hate the people around me  they make so much noise  i read messages of people about the amazing girlfriends they have  i hear people talk about it  i see pictures of women naked women  i feel immediate sadness  because i think i have such a fucking beautiful girlfriend but i still have almost no sexlife  god fucking dammit  i hate this world so much  i dont have money no real home no car no sex no freedom no understanding parents  i have nothing  i have nothing at all to live for  yet still i want to keep living because thats how my brains wired its changing tho  ,3.0
17308,such a nice day in iowa wish i was outside and not working ,2.0
17309,jonathanrknight  aww jonnow im gonna go to bed sad   im thankful i get to see you guys in atlanta this thursday tho,2.0
17310,anxiety sucks,2.0
17311,realizing why my blackberries at the farmers market were only   cents ,2.0
17312,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
17313,hangin with nick michael cody and sam ,0.0
17314,just had an awesome soulwinning experience two old men are now on their way to heaven  ptl ,0.0
17315,my throat hurts ,2.0
17316,going to see quotdrag me to hellquot im scaredahh ,2.0
17317,i dont know what to do with my life im super depressed and feel like im falling behind i see all these happy people all the time on facebook and snapchat living there life while im stuck inside cause i have no friends and nowhere to go im  years old and ever since highschool ended my social life has gone downhill i have  friends one moved the other has a girlfriend so is never available and the other one is just fake honestly but i dont have much to choose from i live in a small town dont know to many people have a shitty job that doesnt pay enough and on top of that appearently im ugly or something cause ive had one girlfriend my whole life and after  months she dumped me and moved to hawaii  i know it sounds like im just bitching and complaining but thats cause iam i have no one to talk to its sad as fuck i tried to kill myself about  and a half years ago and it didnt work obviously but if someone could just give me some words of encouragement or advice on how to meet new people honestly anything will help,3.0
17318,stylistisme mannnnnnnnnnn i forgot all about it shucks ,2.0
17319, get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
17320,depressed im  male all my friends call me gay even though im not they make fun and bully me in every way if i say anything and  or more of them are there they would probably say stfu you gay i just want to cut myself andor die barely anyone wants to be my friend i have probably  friends who dont do that ,3.0
17321,enough to put me over the edge im in school atm getting pressured about passing all my grades aswell im dealing with depression and anxiety i pass all my subjects but math and this year i need to pass it unless i want to leave it which means i cant do the career i want to do and i might have to stay at school for another year im so angry right now and now i have to go to work i dont think ill come home tonight im to scared to tell my parents because they will go psycho i cant deal with all this stress im sorry if this didnt make sense i just needed to write it down because i cant tell anyone else,3.0
17322,theellenshow hahaha i love you ellen  ,0.0
17323,shimoroka andrewrickmann neilfairbrother chewithblingon i feel better for that outburst ,0.0
17324,watching quotamerican mallquot ,0.0
17325,tommcfly tomeatbrigadeiro i can cook for you if you want  haha love you,0.0
17326,rt mtv spencerpratt tries to ease theperezhiltons anxiety by showing him what he knows best crystals 🔮 watch the full episode of sp,0.0
17327,ive been slacking on my tweeting ,2.0
17328,finished ma pasta  gotta get on and do my homework nowgrrr,2.0
17329,kevindollarsign i just got wrecked on the internet ,2.0
17330,boo i miss you sry i didnt see u before u left guess i oh u  dollars ,2.0
17331,davewhitehouse got catch the really train to microsoft in the morning  hours of bad coffee and blackberry users ,2.0
17332,headin to the park for a postbike ride picnic gfree chicken lettuce wraps hummus amp guac  its an international picnic  cheers,0.0
17333,ethnicsupplies glad you liked the joyce grenfell my fave is this one  httpisgdkxur but its not foun its way into  yet ,2.0
17334, find out whos standing in your area and read their manifestos etc i wish i could vote its  days before im  ,2.0
17335,just woke up time to eat then hw ,2.0
17336,tried to upgrade to the iphone  and it created quota big fuckin shitquot have been without iphone for nearly  hours now ,2.0
17337,to try and insulate myself from the anxiety that comes from having cool ppl follow you online even though they probably muted you ages ago,1.0
17338,too depressed to get a job i just graduated top of my class in engineering but cant find a job i get lots of interviews but nobody hires me probably because i seem depressed and uninterested in working which i am i would work wherever but to be honest i probably wont be happy in any job at all because im not happy regardless of what i do how do you get a job if nobody wants to hire you because youre depressed,3.0
17339,danclang oh no i was just saying i got a squarespace package just trying to incorporate it in my tweet it was just a package ,2.0
17340,back in office talking about birminghamcarnival  being made to go   no info on the site  bun it httpwwwbirminghamcarnivalcouk,2.0
17341,captainjohnhart youre alive  good grins i love it when that happens ,0.0
17342,markhoppus  my girlfriend just dumped me got anything cool  say  me ive loved blink for years but not even quotdownquot can stop the pain ,2.0
17343,acey i love that song ps sorry i missed your calls my phone was on silent ,2.0
17344,morrgaine i hate performance exhaust on quottunersquot so now ur ford focus went from  to  and sounds like a fart awesome ,2.0
17345,home sick with bronchitis today ,2.0
17346,djchopps what tv show i kno i can get in on it ,0.0
17347,sexidance it hella is and its helping cure my hangover  birds  stone ,0.0
17348,boysnoize hehe so i was right  it finally pays off to have almost every bnrvinyl in my closet ,0.0
17349,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
17350,nataliaantonova ack well then well have a propah book launch next time and who cares if we dont have an actual book to launch ,0.0
17351,running against a deadline in bio must find out about plants ive just started wondering why i singed up for this and geography ,2.0
17352, even better wolframalpha easter eggs  loving the reference to back to the future nr  ,0.0
17353,i keep forgetting things now does it mean i am getting old forgot my macbooks charger at home for second consecutive day ,2.0
17354,cuando sebastian olzanski empezo a cantar seguiré aquí lo canté llorando porque me acorde de nosotras diciendole ,1.0
17355,getting ready for the drive in with devon                  ,0.0
17356,looking at lyrics for combat wombat  do you believe in grasshoppers yea i tend to thank narcolepsy like a cocktail charade ,0.0
17357,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
17358,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
17359,im not proud of what i did so i went to disneyland on my birthday and had a lot of fun september  but i got sick from screaming and getting dehydrated i drank a lot of water the next day and stayed home from school and by the  i was better but i didnt have the motivation to go to school again so i lied and told my mom i had a headache and sore throat i got to stay home again and just laid around until like  when most of my friends got home but now i lied again because i was scared to go to school i didnt want to face it and i was scared people in my news team would be mad at me because we have to publish our section of the news on monday september  and we cant film the weather part without me or its weird and our community service team thing part we cant film im just so empty i told myself it was another day of school nothing special and it was better to just get through it but i didnt listen to myself and just lied so now im sitting here at home i havent been outside in  days and ive just been laying here on the couch like the lazy ass i am or maybe im not lazy it might just be the hell we call depression taking over my mind and lying to everyone even myself,3.0
17360,packing and listening to the stonkingly good further complications looks like a nice day out and im stuck in  boohoo,2.0
17361,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,0.0
17362,i never want to tell anyone anything ever again sorry but i just need to rant a bitthats always the cliched advice people give to someone dealing with depression or other mental issues  talk to somebody about it open up about your feelingsbut every time ive done so ive regretted it ive had a former friend pull out the wowyou do need help in a mundane argument that had nothing to do with depression or even me in generaleven my own dad hell be super dismissive of my depression calls me lazy and selfish makes fun of me for still living at home even though he needs me there to take care of my sick mom he basically gives no indication of caring about my depression or taking it seriously at all until were arguing about something then hell use it to delegitimize anything i say because im just so unstable and overly sensitive dont pretend your concern is genuine while youre only using it as ammunition in an argumenti know my family talks about my mental health behind my back too ive only told a few people but somehow everyone knows that im struggling even though its none of their business they treat it like its some juicy bit of gossip instead of this horrible thing that has consumed my fucking life my aunt uses the time i broke down and almost committed suicide but was talked out of it as evidence of me being dramaticive tried talking to close friends too and they initially seem supportive saying that theyre always there to listen but since ive opened up to them theyve only grown more distant i dont know if they think its better to give me space but it really isnt i thought it wouldve brought us closer but now it just feels like they dont want to deal with my baggage why tell someone they can talk to you about anything if thats not true i dont even bring it up often at all i just didnt think saying hey im having a really hard time time im depressed so thats why im acting so down would make someone want to keep their distance i thought friends were supposed to be able to talk about that stuff at least once in a whilei havent clicked with the few therapists ive seen and i know everyone says it takes time to find the right one but im starting to not see a point in any of it ive already been patronized disbelieved and dismissed i really dread having to go through that over and over again for the small possibility of finding the perfect match i dont want to possibly give people harmful advice or scare them away from getting help i really dont if youre planning on telling someone please try it anyway maybe the people in my life just suck about this stuff i know this sounds so disingenuous and hypocritical but i really dont want anyone to give up hope just because i haveits just getting so hard to feel hopeful about it working for me because not everyone is gonna be understanding and they dont prepare you for that when they say just tell someone uwu i never wanted to tell anyone in the first place i was basically forced to when i was failing my university courses and didnt have any other explanation for it but after that initial confession i thought telling people would be the gateway into me getting better but it only made me resent the people ive told i feel so stupid and humiliated i wish i never said anything at all ,3.0
17363,msedu sorry i steped outside for a moment  i guess ill talk wya later,2.0
17364,finally enjoying sunday after working and thinking of my family especially my mother whos far away celebrating without me ,2.0
17365,lorissa someone out there clearly values persistence as a marketing tool ,0.0
17366,quote some people are addicted to anger the only way they can relieve their depression and feel alive is by creating conflict,1.0
17367,weshotthemoon aww thanks always happy to support bands i love ,0.0
17368,filmscoregeek thanks for the r but sorry the lotr was spam ,2.0
17369,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
17370,my depression just seems so logical im assuming it cant be but kinda feels like i should feel this way most people dislike me or just dont care id say  i realize there is immediate family that love me id say less than  people which is a lot more than many people have but hard to focus on when a lot of people have negative things to say about me it seems immediate family wouldnt love me if we werent forced into bond ive been looking into why people dont like me and its obvious because of the things i say and do just seems like its a character flaw of mine that i act like i know everything antisocial and talkativeannoying i tried improving my mental health this year and i did working out tanning and meditation but im still the same little asshole i always was maybe longer durations of this would change this just seems like whats the point of living if a majority of people think im an asshole not fun and annoying i just dont think the character flaws wrong with me are something i can change any success stories like truly changing oneself feeling very stuck and sad,3.0
17371,watching a documentary on the ramones speaking of bands i wish i had been in  ,0.0
17372,justfinejenjen u lef us i didnt  u was goin bak  c u nxt time,2.0
17373,bidhanroy i wish i could be sleeping right now  lol,2.0
17374,menonhari which country are you in now doesnt seem to be china anymore good morning anyway ,0.0
17375,i want to go to disneyland or six flags i havent been since i was   ,2.0
17376,sad yet happy confuse hahaha,0.0
17377,xeroxcandybar dude who knows it sucks though i get warnings like every  min and theres nothing i can do ,2.0
17378,tornado watch for my area omg ,2.0
17379,susansalhab youll get there im sure  dont worry,0.0
17380,blakespot not often you get to go all amiga retro with a fellow airplane passenger ,0.0
17381,karissafoley  you should make it again and then send me the link yeah,2.0
17382,life sucks ,2.0
17383,cezarate haha yup  ugh i dont wanna go to school tommorrow ,2.0
17384,rt charstarlene my heart goes out to those of us whose anxiety has gone from crippling to an accelerating vomitshitdeathlike ever since,1.0
17385,coming to the realization that i will not be in ny tonight  ,2.0
17386,driving down the road the one of the most promoted events ive been to ha i miss cheyenne ,2.0
17387,missing my honey ,2.0
17388,i forgot how it feels to be normal the  medical professionals ive met all tell me how horrible my depression is ive gone through numerous tests where ive gotten alarming scores in depression and anxiety ive had these issues for so long that this is the new normal now i isolate myself from everyone and every thing i left my old hobbies behind and replaced it with going to bed at  and getting out of it at  for work or college laying here on a friday night knowing that everyone including myself hates me trying to fight the suicidal thoughts but accepted the fact that one day theyll win,3.0
17389,right have to hand computer back to husband if i want the telly    i might go on my phone in the ad breaks  laters xx,2.0
17390,sudden depression ive never really experienced serious depression where i felt like i needed to talk about it im  right now i am generally a strong willed person it doesnt take a lot to make me happy i regularly complain about the world in a comedic and joking manner im a pretty hard cynic about life but as long as i had my few things that mattered to me i was fine but suddenly my life is about to change dramatically and those few things will be taken away and within a very short amount of time i feel like a shell of my former self just totally disconnected from the resilient laugh it off person i normally am i never realized how fragile my happiness in this life is for reference i dont have any close family relationships and never felt loved by my family my happiness always came from the hope of having my own loving family one day and influencing the world for right now it seems to me that neither of these might be possible i guess i just want to express how quickly a smiling fun loving and funny person can just fall into instant bitterness and hopelessness towards life im gonna struggle to make the most of it no matter how much i hate it but im also just starting out on this journey so i dont know how it can erode your psychology over time,3.0
17391,chrisaffair   you guys were so fucking amazing my friend jennnn met u guys there ,0.0
17392,cant wait to see my lil sis i love her so much ,0.0
17393,misscocobelle friday night we can go out to eat and saturday afternoon go to the spa  but its up to you,0.0
17394,needs time to heel  ,2.0
17395,having a break working on new material ,0.0
17396,what are your goalsplans this for this saturday friends im going to clean up my apartment and hopefully get some homework done main goal is just to stay outta bed if possible lol,3.0
17397,drcharlii hey dr charli can i make an appointment on um monday i have a uh flesh eating bacteria disease  has thermomture in mouth,2.0
17398,babygurlbee thanks mama ,0.0
17399,rt natvanlis some gentle games and exercises for beginners based on the volunteer work i did at torontos centre for addiction and menta,1.0
17400,i cut my finger cos i was using a knife backwards ,2.0
17401,just finished strings on one of our new demos my dad plays double bass on it  its a family affair ,0.0
17402,is playing xbox with garret youth pool party got cancelled due to rain ,2.0
17403,mangowe tired disturbed night with the kids  not great weather either yes im not feeling great lol,2.0
17404,i can necessarily breathe without coughing my olympia is poo a fender would do  its kind of weird to have a best friend love you bugg,0.0
17405,stoobs gutted for you nothing worse  ,2.0
17406,stopped going to psychiatrist appointments and now i dont know what to do i will try to keep this concise im in the uk and all mental healthcare so far has been provided by the nhs cant afford privateive been to my gp a few times over the years about my depression but i was referred to a psychiatrist last year my one and only appointment went well and i was prescribed mirtazapine i didnt go to any follow up appointments theyve stopped sending them now and stopped taking the meds after  or  months it made me feel like myself again but please let me explain my thought process i hope some of you here can understand i felt like i wasnt actually depressed and didnt need medication completely wrong and i realise this is down to my own internalised shame of having a mental illness i gained weight as a side effect now i realise that i would rather be fat and happy than go on feeling like this i had no accountability to take my medication  i didnt involve my partner in any indepth conversations about it and so it was too easy to just stop taking it and he didnt notice or question it i know im blaming someone else for something that is my fault herenow i am in a deep dark hole and am failing at uni i had a meeting with my programme leader and he said i have to go to the doctor for proof of my depression so the uni can give me extensions and make adjustments etc but i have no idea what to tell my doctor i am so embarrassed and ashamed that i stopped taking my medication because of weight gain and that i was paralysed with anxiety when i was supposed to go to my psychiatric appointmentsi guess im just looking for some practical support here what do i tell my doctor i feel like such a failure and like i am wasting everyones time with this,3.0
17407,carmellows i dont know lah ,2.0
17408,ilovecolbyo hes mine too lol ,0.0
17409,why am i mean im sometimes mean to my parents but i cant help it i get mad at my mum for complaining about money when she smokes all the time and buys a packet of cigarettes every dayi know my dad loves me and cares about me but there are times i feel weird he s never failed to show me he loves me but most of the time he doesnt take me seriously and when i try to give him advice he just says that i dont know anything and he is always correct cause hes older and that annoys me,3.0
17410,got exam at   far too early when i dont even have school,2.0
17411,thebandblake i cant believe what has happened its just so tragic  also i l thinktraffic cops and police interceptors are waay better,2.0
17412,birthday dinner with some trannies ,0.0
17413,how does it feel to have actual friends meet me at a social event and im honestly pretty good at making small talk ive been told i come across as normal nothing too strange just like everyone else so i should have friends rightrightwell poopi have none and when i say none i dont mean i dont call acquitances friends it legitimately means i have not a single person who i can call a friendno body texts me people leave me on read pretty often i am almost always the initiater of texts and talks too so how does it feel to have friends,3.0
17414,juss waking up and feelin horrible smh ,2.0
17415,walkinspastic are you feeling sick ,2.0
17416,rt  me  my depression ,2.0
17417,i feel abandoned my  year partner abruptly ended the relationship without warning asking for no further contact my family is awful my closest friends were his friends so theyve ghosted me since we broke up people tell me hes not ending my life over but im not wanting to end it because of him i want to end it because im alone and the only time in my life ive had happiness was with him will i ever feel happy again when will i not be alone again,3.0
17418,rt angiekhumalo depression is real ,0.0
17419,just woke up ,0.0
17420,is life still worth it  does life worth the pain pain of losing others you lovedpain of getting up every morning with no goal no expectationspain of seeing your family sad because of youpain of not knowing what to do in the future because you dont see yourself past  years oldpain of asking yourself questions like why i am still alive or what is the last i was truly happydoes the life really matter that much why everybody want to live but all you see is hate pain and tearsdoes your life mean something in this world for me i dont know i want to leave this world all i think about goes in this direction but i cant resign myself to do it i can t just leave like that but every day i feel more and more this need to end my life,3.0
17421,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
17422,beginning abilify  by itself hey allim a longtime lurker first time contributor basically no matter what i do i cant combat my depression ssris have no effect besides negative side effects at high doses with seemingly no positive influence and the same goes for snris because of this my psych prescribed me abilify antipsychotic to try and get my depression under control in almost everything ive read its been used to augment another med  but i was prescribed it by itself has anyone experienced this of course experiences will vary from person to person but id like to get an idea of what im getting myself into im starting it tomorrow night approx  hours from now im also on  vyvanse and  adderall irthanks,3.0
17423,mteamemmett chantel wants to know what the random bands name isand its not mcfly ,2.0
17424,hate it when people tell me to socialize seriously i fucking never thought of talking to people thank you genius its not like my extremely low social skills are one of the reasons why i hate myself but why dont you just improve them oh fucking yeah imagine working on your social skills when youre unable to talk to anybody,3.0
17425,eljgy what have they done to aop its so sad,0.0
17426,rt xxdbreezyxx how you let a nigga thats not even your nigga stress you out sis,1.0
17427,it sucks not being in control of your own body i study and i practice i devote all my time  learning things im always the slowest learner but i do eventually get there if i just dedicate all my time to it and then the test gets put in front of me and i no longer know my own name i didnt even know i was afraid of speeches while i was practicing them i thought since it wasnt like a written test i would be able to do it then stood in front of everybody and forgot how to speak i failed at photography dammit i sat on the floor and sobbed in front of everyone i dont even know why i cant walk near the building without having a panic attack  then i saw something for an associates degree that has no prerequisites but i just learned no requisites mean gpa of  or above i just dont know how im gonna get by if i can never have a career,3.0
17428,i need a funny movie or something  suggestions i feel a little down ,2.0
17429,im back to feeling this way again im so low i spend most of my time in bed in a dark room either over sleeping or staring into space and not doing anything i dont enjoy the things i used to spending time with others is exhausting im really strugglingi have been referred for some mental health help but they cancelled my appointment due to coronavirus i think i need to call them and tell them i really need some help but its so hard to build up the courage to pick up the phonethanks for listening if anyone read this,3.0
17430,lol grossssss your brother is freeking adorable thooo ,0.0
17431,with the lines lately i should prolly head to the art institute early  but the conversation at the next table is so interesting ,0.0
17432,ah remember the advert this was from  ♫ ,0.0
17433,im being admitted im being admitted to a mental health hospital im  and havent told my mother who i live with shes obviously going to notice im not there how do i tell her she doesnt believe in mental health ,3.0
17434,she not showin me no love no good ,2.0
17435,a much needed vent session buckle up this bitch is longsome backround info so i live in a small rural town and im about  im not a popular student perse perse per se but i get good grades and have a huge lunch box so kids only really talk to me to get answers for math or for food i do more than everyone in my family but im still the black sheep for no reasonnow my older brother is  and supposedly gets  and above in all classes but he absolutely refuses to help me when i struggle with anything because i a have good grades so i dont need help b he magically has  projects he needs to work on or else hell fail his classes and c hes tired from track my siblings somehow can never help me with anything and get mad when i ask for help but id better be ready to help my siblings by taking over their life so they can sleep in i cook all the meals do laundry my mom struggles with anything electronic so i have to do everything there a stupid amount of work and clean my moms dog salon which is my older bros job but he never does now i posted another thing in rentitled parents about my families current situation so im the only one who talks to my dad which no one wants to do long story but since my dad only listens to me according to everyone in my home im a lazy piece of shit that doesnt do anything if i dont convince him to give my mom the money that she needs to pay bills i go to private violincello lessons and my teacher just so happens to be my moms divorce lawyers wife and a week after figuring that out my mom forced me to involve my own personal get away session as i like to call it with something i want nothing to do with to try and get more information about my father than what my mom knew when i refused she screamed at me about how we were gonna lose the house starve lose my moms business not got to school live on the street all because i didnt want to talk to someone indirectly related to our situation about something my opinion doesnt matter overno one in my family can stand my lil bro for long periods of time because he is borederline aspergers and he talks about things so quickly that no one can understand him makes up lies about missing food and doesnt do anything to help out now hes a good guy but everyone can only speak to him including mom for about minute before screaming at him i deal with his shit for an hour before i raise my voice and im basically told i should be treating him like loyalty because at age  i said i wanted a little sibling no one cares about me my opinions and everything i do is used against me to the point where i dont want to do it anymore my family only talks to me to yell at me for not doing my siblings chores not making enough of dinner even though everyone said they were good not doing everyones laundry etc i was forced into doing track after saying for a month how much i didnt want to do it and i get this from my mom if you dont try ill be pissed because im spending all this money for you to do track despite the fact that my older brother has to use his money for it and my mom doesnt really put as much into it im nothing more to my family than a personal butler and when im not home id better bring out my agame because im somehow the only child that represents our family im constantly told that if im not good in public thats what people think of my mom despite the fact that i do all the shopping by myself and people never see me with my mom in public the people who have judged my mom based on me have straight up said that her kids are wonderful i bet theyve got an awesome mother every single day my mom lectures me on everything i do but doesnt help me improve gets mad if i say nothing but the cuts me off and screams at me louder if i do say anything all of my siblings have never done anything and once through in a shower of cold water because one day when my mom left a chore list i did the whole thing my younger brother does nothing  my older sis only delegates the chores and my older brother only tries to clean his room and since they didnt see me do it even though everything was done and the chore list had everything crossed out i was being lazy i cant think of how many times ive considered ending it and i cant say anything about my depression because im too young to have anything to be depressed about i cant even tell my friends because my personality is hide the sadness with comedy and no one will suspect a thing and they think im joking litteraly the only person who believed me was my gf because her family situation is the same as mine and she also has depression at this point in my life if all im good for is taking care of my family and making them look good then what purpose do i serve in this world what meaning do i have to keep livingthank you for reading this whole shitfest of a post,3.0
17436,everything seems great but its not ive  been married for a year and a half to a wonderful guy i only work in my office from  hours a day otherwise i work from home as a software engineer but i hate my job and im only staying here because of a large financial benefit if i remain for another year or so and recently ive been depressedim not sure of the cause my husband thinks i dont suffer enough basically and that my life is too easy he doesnt help he makes me feel like its all my fault hes under a lot of stress at his job particularly this week and i try not to take it personally but its hard not toour love life is not great neither of us are very intimate but he almost never is in the mood i always have to try to initiate it and it ends up becoming scheduled which i dont mind but it takes a lot of effort on my part to do thatwe also had previously worked out at the gym together but due to injuries ive had to take a break it also seems like im too blame for not taking care of myselfsome days are harder than others i feel alone many times and my job is not one where i get to interact with a lot of people i end up therefore feeling isolated im unmotivated and i feel like i am not myself the world seems darker than i know it is and i constantly have to try and tell myself that this isnt how things are  that its all in my headi dont even know why i am posting im usually optimistic but now i am feeling quite pessimistic,3.0
17437,having my morning coffee what a night ,2.0
17438,why am i so lonely i have good grades great friends have never been bullied and have a loving family but i still feel utterly alone its like i have a rain cloud over my head that keeps me from being happy i have never taken meds but it seems like thats an option now but i dont want to be pumped full of meds just to feel like a functional human i dont know what to do,3.0
17439,talk went very well and got signed copies of both of ray kurzweils books as a gift ,0.0
17440,desireeapril i know   hahaha uhm really  why ,0.0
17441,fun fun weekend ,0.0
17442,rt asforlitaa general conference of seventh day adventists need to do better about mental health,1.0
17443,liveasyoulove hahaha  d,0.0
17444,vintagejohnny  no luck with the jacket ,2.0
17445,cant sleep not looking forward to tomorrow  too much to do,2.0
17446,i just want to sit in the dark blast my music and drinksmoke time away every minute fucking hurts and i just want to indulge in anything to get my mind away i can only dream of this see as im concussed,3.0
17447,princessteen i knowwww  but no more for a whileeee,2.0
17448,tracyjr thisll cheer you up  no picture breakup at all ,0.0
17449,uniquelynique im   and  lol   i look more of a midget lol,0.0
17450,graffiti  im not gonna paint over it i like it  ,0.0
17451,a poem about my depression note  this is not an uplifting piece of writing i talk about what i was going through at the time thanks feedback comments all are welcome and appreciatedthere is a hopelessness in mefestered into these bones of minei know not from whence it cameor whyit sits and it rots and it consumeseating away at my marrowi know soon there will be naughtleft behind but ityet it cannot existwithout mei fought itfor a long whiledull thuds as i beat my bonesout it came howling wretched and fouli stared in anger in defiancei am strong i can do thisi smilei am more than just youyet it cannot existwithout mebut it is a warthat never endsit is icethat never meltsit is firethat never diesit grabs a hold of my skulland now i know where this endsyet it cannot existwithout methe rot has spreadmy mind my sanctuaryis no longerminebut i must smilei must go onno one can knowno one can find outyet it cannot existwithout mereach out seek helpnay isolate yourselfmy mind plays gamesas i struggle to make sensedazed and confused stumbling in intoxicationa respite from the hurtas the world disintegratesi breathe a sigh of reliefyet it cannot existwithout methere is a hopelessness in mefestered into these bones of minei know not from whence it cameor whyi resisted i triedi used my mind i used my selfbut then i realizedi smilei cannot existwithout it,3.0
17452,idann well now i cant eat it  meat is mean,2.0
17453,is finally home a day well spent ,0.0
17454, grade and  has been a shit year honestly ive had a very shitty year currently the end of the third quarter this year has been depressing as it is i remember last year i had a great sense of humor and was happy nearly everyday except for a few  grade had to be the best middle school years ever this year ive lost motivation ive lost my sense of humor ive lost passion in what i do best film making i am one with the camera we go well together and stop motion my friends are still acting mostly the same from last year though one of them is kind of becoming a dick this year but thats another story he tries way to hard to be someone hes not ive been failing most of my classes been slowly bringing them up though some teachers dont like me i know for sure once the middle of the year hit i started to slowly give up i started slacking i started sleeping in some of my classes i quit doing that now except for study hall all i do now is sleep in till probably  on weekends eat play vidya on my consoles sleep some more and browse  and reddit i started to become more of a loner stayed by myself and tried not to interact with that many people except for friends there were times where im nearly going to snap there was one time where i randomly snapped and start quietly crying sneaked off into the bathroom nothing but fucked up things have been happening this year some people i knew died the repeal of net neutrality last year a potential school shooting at my school there are some times where i just wish someone would lend me a hand for once but nothing like that has happened i try to act happy in of other people but on the inside im sad as hell since i lost my own sense of humor i tried to make my last stand before i get knocked down again i started using dank memes not dead ones as of this post again instead of using my own real humor its like my last line of defense before im completely salty im willing to know what you think to fit with the mood and atmosphere of this post listen to this while reading itl  ,3.0
17455,got a pay rise of  bucks ,0.0
17456,zenojones i tried to but they sold out so ill be trying  get them  the dooror listening  my big sean  drake cds  the crib  ,2.0
17457,internode is down in north syd and now i have to do all the work i was putting off ,2.0
17458,geektalkus  i wish you were here ,0.0
17459,quotlucretia my reflectionquoti like itlucrezia borgia lucrezia floriani george sand ,0.0
17460, that does sound like a great surprise im sorry i missed it ,2.0
17461,layin in bed wide awake n thinkin too much    blaaaah,2.0
17462,today ill be like every other student and study ,2.0
17463,why should we feels like im some kind of reallife frankensteins monster child made up from shittiest mental grafts,3.0
17464,im not sad,2.0
17465,trying to find someone to go to the mall with ,2.0
17466,saritajoy   nice one sarita can i come live with you too pls looks like you have space enough ,0.0
17467,what a fookin day certainly didnt turn out as i planned it jesus roll on manana ,0.0
17468,why is it so hard to die really it has been months since i have tried to hang myself and here i am alive after several attempts god i am pathetic,3.0
17469,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
17470,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
17471,tonitones  it was great as good as the new york one we saw  yrs ago ,0.0
17472, thanks to you i want mcdo  last time i ate them was  ,2.0
17473,queenoftheclick we just had french toast bacon and fresh oj for lunchbrunch  yum,0.0
17474,just got here ,0.0
17475,maybe today i cant do anything right or good enough its exhausting to live like this im tired of being tiredi just want it all to end,3.0
17476,millierose mountain dew im so jealous of you amy rose ,2.0
17477,needs a new rear windshield ,2.0
17478,djam have a good flight and be nice to your flight attendants ,0.0
17479,just about to walk through cardiff to get hair cut and pick up car from lush bbq last night  joe,0.0
17480,cancelled tomolos makan with buddy ,2.0
17481,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
17482,i cant sum this up in a title sorry for the long post i tried to break it up a bit but its a bit of a rambleim  and in my second year at university i cant concentrate i dont enjoy what im doing any more im not talking about my hobbies i still enjoy them im talking about my degree and the direction i wanted my life to go in i chose to study physics and university but im not sure thats what i want to do any more i dont learn anything in lectures nothing to do with bad lecturers is just not a style of learning that works for me because of this im struggling a bit with coursework most of the time i manage to do it but sometimes i have to get my friends to help luckily for me theyre supportive and willing to help but i feel like an idiot and a disappointment when i struggle to grasp basic concepts and it hurts a bit to see them apparently breeze through it when i feel like a failure i dont find it interesting any more i used to be fascinated with the way physics could explain everything now it just feels like a load of shitty equations that i cant remember properlybecause of this i procrastinate way too much if i can ignore it i dont feel bad about it so thats what i started  doing i dont really know how to describe it its like i cant do anything ill try to read through notes to understand something and i just zone out i end up reading sentences and not taking anything in i start to feel bad about myself again so i stop and i end up giving up and going back to reddityoutubefacebook etc i think im just lazy my sleep pattern is fucked i struggle to get to bed before  and regularly stay up till  so i wake up for  am lectures and spend all day feeling tired yet in the evening i feel wide awake again then on days when i dont have to get up i sleep in too late the earliest i get up without an alarm is  its often  before i wake up and end up going straight downstairs for lunchwhenever i think about my current situation i feel awful so i try not to the less i focus the more i can convince myself everythings fine i dont know if im even depressed sometimes i think i just want to be so that i have an excuse for not trying hard enough or that its all my fault anyway if im depressed why do i still feel happy a lot of the time why can i just forget about my problems when im busy with something i enjoy if im not depressed then why do i feel so unmotivated all the time am i just lazy i feel like ive become a worse person and im just trying to find excuses so i dont feel so guilty about iti know i need to do something about this my grades are starting to be affected and im worried about my future if i carry on like this its going to get worse sometimes i dont care though like life is just going way too fast and i cant keep up even if i dont fail im scared of the future i have no idea what i want to do with my life and the subject i thought i wanted to do is making me miserable at the same time i dont want to quiti dont feel comfortable talking to anyone in person yet i know i probably should but im not even brave enough to use my normal reddit account i dont know what id say to anyone i feel disappointed and ashamed of myself for not being as good as i could be and im not ready for anyone to know that im not the same person i was a year agoim sure theres more but i keep repeating myself and this is already too long,3.0
17483,i want to move nowi hate waitingi cant be patient ,2.0
17484,ugh ive taken my hayfever tablet but it doesnt seem to be kicking in this morning ,2.0
17485,subclubloyal aww poor laptop   atleast you still have your pc or did it not break or something something,2.0
17486,good music evokes a memory and a place in time  doesnt matter if its thenor now  have a great visit to your favs ,0.0
17487,dovebyrd every little bit helps as we like to say   hahaha,0.0
17488,pimples attack arghhhhhhhhh ,2.0
17489,chariseb both  more business,0.0
17490,shayface lets go tonight ,0.0
17491,rt ghourmet instead of reducing van gogh to his depression we could talk about the fact he started painting in his late  which should,1.0
17492,i used to share everything with them now everything reminds me of them have you ever been so close to a person where you share every small detail of your life with them but they dont want to be in your life no more every small thing reminds me of them my shoes my toothbrush my glasses i cant go one minute without being reminded of them,3.0
17493,but had to decline because im running a shit box mobile piss pot radical at donington instead gutted ,2.0
17494, pilotsdelkaty chartdata twentyonepilots having depression is what you call being emo oh youre ts ,2.0
17495,just convinced my friend to write a creepy message to her boyfriend in his yearbook ,0.0
17496,rt baldboyblues this is what my mental health looks like right now httpstcodochfilxfy,0.0
17497,rt gonerinthetrees ••fear might be the death of me••••fear leads to anxiety••cliqueart joshuadun tylerrjoseph thedavidthedad https,2.0
17498,not sure how to make him understand quick background i am  years old and i had a major panic attack brought on by depression at the age of  since then i have had small episodes of depression i can go six months of being ok but every now and then i have one day where i am completely off and down no explanation nor triggers i have been married to my husband for almost  years now and i dont know how to explain this to him he feels like there has to be an explanation as to why this happens but i dont know what to tell him can someone help me does anyone else go through this,3.0
17499,chuck renewed  rumored to be heading to friday  good news with a ratings boost there is the possibility of a  episode pickup,2.0
17500,i wanna die i need to go if i stab myself in the neck will it do the trick,3.0
17501,  thank you ,0.0
17502,sabaw na lang natirang ulam saken sad,0.0
17503,  update isnt finished yet ,2.0
17504,midnightromeo in  minnn  cant wait listening it thatputting it on my myspace then going to sleep ♥ twentyyyyyy today ,0.0
17505,graywolf oh and yes makes perfect sense ,0.0
17506,not feeling well  going home now,2.0
17507,wildwindart wwwcowgirloncoffeecom is where i wanna be  cowgirls on coffe for me cowgirls  mmm p,0.0
17508,im tanning in the garden ,0.0
17509,ummmmgonna go get this hair but gotta call my cuz lol if she doesnt do it im sure i can find somebody to ,2.0
17510,is connected at  mbps  stops stabbing himself,0.0
17511,head hurts ,2.0
17512,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
17513,feliciaday champion of the people its the thought that counts right i missed that same opportunity last week ,2.0
17514,what do you people want from me  ,2.0
17515,ok lol i didnt goto sleep ive been up all night oh and i cut my finger with a pair of scissors ,2.0
17516,yesterday i was punish  but today no  �i have a record � followers xd,0.0
17517,rt aaronblake area man says racist things is very sad to learn it comes with consequences ,2.0
17518,i just feel like ive wasted  years of my life and i just want it to end i feel like everything i do either good or bad comes back at me in a bad way i feel like i have done nothing in these  years and no one actually cares not even my parents i searched all the ways you could kill yourself but i dont have the balls to do it so im just stuck no one from who i know undertands me and they dont even try they give adive yet they dont try to understand and im just sick i dont want to be a part of this anymore,3.0
17519,joffb thanks for the spoiler joff ,2.0
17520,doing chores and unpackingboring  where did the sun go i want to go play,2.0
17521,bigbadtoxman well it will be served again tomorrow once the mini digger gets delivered  not good for the diet tho,0.0
17522,misskeribaby im readin anything you put out ,0.0
17523,adrak chai to start off a busy sunday ,0.0
17524,tomorrow i have to explain to my uni tutor why i failed all my modules last semester and had  attendance i have to do this so that they wont just kick me out at the end of the year i am lying here in bed absolutely dreading it im gonna have to talk about my mental health and how i spent most of the semester in bed wanting to open my wrists well not in such extreme terms and that its damn near impossible to do hours of higher maths when everything seems pointless and you just want to dieive fucked this academic year up real bad and i need to defer until the next one hopefully they will understand i went from getting firsts last year to this,3.0
17525,thinking about running away around  years ago things started to fall apart in my family at first i tried staying optimistic hoping that things magically get better needless to say since im posting this they havent far from it in fact my life is now a complete disaster and without going into details i may very well have no future ive become self destructive in all the worst ways im broke and have no one to talk to about any of this im at that point where my only chance of a some what decent future is to run away i dont want to give up on ever being happy again but at the same time i dont know if just leaving everything behind is a good idea,3.0
17526,fallingkind me too  you abandon me for uniboob people and mario kart,2.0
17527,blehhhhhhhhh so much to do today and im so tired  cant let my friends down though,2.0
17528,tanialx i dont think so no pictures yet or any mention of it  where are they,2.0
17529,i relapsed and i seriously just wanna die now im fucking pathetic i cant even make good fucking cuts they look stupid as fuck and shouldnt even count as cuts shallow fucking was wounds i cant even cut myself right ive been clean for over a month and i just relapsed at the perfect time theres a crazy storm outside and seeing bright ass lightning flash in my face while im in the shower was cool and im looking at my arm and wish i cut my leg instead i stopped cutting my leg bc the pain was insane and i also have grey sweats and i cant bleed through them theyre gonna again and imma be pissed anyways haha i wanna die because i cant even cut right and im not happy with them and life is a joke,3.0
17530,my sister has collapsed again  luckily there was someone to catch her this time shes supposed to have a history exam today,2.0
17531,regins noo     ugh ugh ugh im furious i didnt care if it was like  am ily,2.0
17532,says quotah babon goreng watchmen tiketnya abisquot ,2.0
17533,im at home and watch tvtired i have no desire to work tomorrow ,2.0
17534,i stopped taking my meds and will replace them with cannabis oil  i took psychotropic drugs like lamotrigine rispiridone and another one for a short period of time like a month one day lamotrigine gave me an allergic reaction so i cut off all medications at once not seeing significant changes in my mood i decided to stop taking them completely     i must clarify that many people including doctors and family members with a history of mental illnesses also did not agree with me taking so many pills im going to a psychologist a year ago and i wont stop going but i saw the psychiatrist only twice and she already filled me with pills so it is doubtful also going to the psychiatrist was costing me a lot of money as well as the pills so everything seems like good reasons to stop taking them   in a few hours a woman who makes cbd oil is going to bring me my first little jar is there anyone here who treat their depression with this i will appreciate any advice ♥,3.0
17535,on my why to get my fixed bike ,0.0
17536,adinfinitum no im so ashamed  ill do them tomorrow,2.0
17537, i wanna watch the new ep but of course its ppvput it on the pay members page tooplease matt,2.0
17538,is awake and ready for the day ,0.0
17539,studdastuffy yeah its awesome  bob looks pretty cute too d,0.0
17540,on train home from tafe ,0.0
17541,cant get out of bed i just cant lots to do but no motivation i have to work at  until  and i hate it my job is shit minimum wage hospitality bullshit it ruins my sleep and i cant even pay my rent but the more hours i do the more depressed and sleep deprived i become,3.0
17542,wincy ong covering david bowie ooh yeah   ,0.0
17543,  orange moon best i could get from inside the store ,2.0
17544,eyes are stingay ,2.0
17545,im about to buy school supplies and planning to buy a new school bag too excited ,0.0
17546,im unhappy ive been unhappy for a while if im alone im sad but if im with him im even more sad hes in an online open relationship and hes seeing me until their lover moves down here in a few years i was happy at first but now i feel like im being used ive tried to walk away from this because i was too confused about what were doing im not allowed to see or talk or have sex with other guys but were not dating or exclusive whenever i try to end things he cries and i cant bare it so i come right back im scared im scared of being alone and im scared of life without him because hes become all i know hes very emotional and inconsiderate my mood swings and depression are out the window my alters and i are on a constant state of anxiety we want to be free,3.0
17547,dordtheghost this is so sad alexa play my hero academia opening  hours,1.0
17548,i am super fuckin pissed at my camcorder it did not get my sons homerun  ,2.0
17549,baddecisions mine too  i like baltimore i even offered to buy my friend a drink and he still said no ,2.0
17550,been away from twitter allll weekend did i miss anything huge charleston so bummed im missing kol tonight ,2.0
17551,dellhomeuk they all appear to be � here ive got an acer aspire one which will tide me over for now ,0.0
17552,day  legends doing well that is so unlike  ,0.0
17553,rt nateismfof demi lovatos overdose should be a wake up call to society no matter how successful someone is and no matter how happy the,0.0
17554,jordanknight damn my messages must get lost for sure after seein all those replies to you very sad   lol,2.0
17555,i just dont want to do this anymore i have a job i hate bills i cant pay and passions i dont have time forive been wanting to die for the past two months i dont want to be alive anymore im tired of feeling miserable tired of the mounting debt tired of being alone tired of being forced to wade into hell for a paycheck that cant even pay off my debtsi just really want to die i hate posting this on my main but antidepressants dont work i cant afford to see a therapist im too chicken shit for suicide but its the only way outwhat do i do what can i do i feel so hopeless i feel so worthless life is worthlessi hope i dont make it home after work,3.0
17556,i know it sounds terrible but have you ever i was thinking about this the other day one of my bullies from highschool passed away awhile ago everyone was doing their condolences etc i kept quiet but you have no idea how much i wanted to say screw you you mentally scared me amp made my life a living hell as we grew up you were an ahole amp i have nothing but bad memories of you rip,3.0
17557,im off to keighley amp worth valley in yorkshire today wwe extreme rules tonight with mcdermott ,0.0
17558,mrskutcher watched quotabout last nightquot amp quotst elmos firequot last night a blast from the past love them then amp now u still look fab ,0.0
17559,severe thunderstorm watch amp im all alone i miss my fiancé  damn dyersville,2.0
17560,srinaths thanks ,0.0
17561, silvercraig its certainly awesomeness  lol,0.0
17562,depression i am depressed and wanna die my own family pits me down i am trying to grow my youtube channel and nothing works what to do i am losing interest in all my favourite things i just wanna die,3.0
17563,rt depressingmsgs depression isnt always sadness it can also be emptiness anger tiredness or loneliness sometimes a cry for help isn,2.0
17564,watching videos ,0.0
17565,back from ride and now preparing nutrient loaded meal for family ,0.0
17566,rockevans  too far away from me  cumberlands a bore without you guys,2.0
17567,fk clearly we proved the rule ,0.0
17568, ntm my cellys battery died and i am finally home ,0.0
17569,i want to buy some succulents and start potting them in pretty antique pots  and making terrariums  the one i bought at quirk is dying ,2.0
17570, real people on what finally worked for their anxiety ,2.0
17571,getting back to broad ripple was enough work for the morning im tired  need to get showered so i have time for hubbardampcravens tho,2.0
17572,i dont know how much more i can take ,2.0
17573,trying to get help but family doesnt support im a  year old guy and ive been struggling with day to day tasks for about  months now ive almost completely stopped going to school stopped attending clubs and just overall been stuck in bed only crawling out to go to work im trying to seek some type of professional help because i dont want to be like this but whenever the time comes to do something i just deflate and cant do anything but sleep or lay in bed and then i feel terrible afterwords my family wasnt overly supportive before i stopped doing the things im supposed to do but now there is nothing and when i tried to talk to them and ask them to help me get helped they claimed you know depression is a cop out right i dont think they get how heavy it is and i cant seek medical help on my own salary so im confused on my next move ,3.0
17574,finished up the tv section and added a section for the hannah montana movie  go look corrie,0.0
17575,hartovdaciti  i know its sad right,2.0
17576,shazzystfu good girls go bad amp hot mess ,2.0
17577,rt aanahivaldez i get sad fast like ill be ok then just sad out of nowhere,1.0
17578,done with english final  but we cant talk  text me please,2.0
17579,online in twitter haha ,0.0
17580,rt martinsen  from across the pacific  mental health shouldnt be hidden under trouser legs venessb ,2.0
17581,dhowell i recognize that this could be a canoworms and if you dont want to go there im sure my friend will understand  ,0.0
17582,off to bedddd  finally get to sleep in,0.0
17583,i am suffering from pmsand wishing i was a manthan mother nature wouldnt curse me every month ,0.0
17584,tired of waiting im so tired tired of everything tired of all the good things happening to everyone else tired of everyone elses life being better than mine tired of no one understanding tired of no one caring im just fucking tired all the time and im tired of that too fuck ,3.0
17585,necesito estar bien por suerte tengo esos amigos que te hacen olvidar los problemas por un rato que sad ,2.0
17586,rt wowprettylady about  of my dm request folder is questions about how my hair is black but im from sweden and whether thats a source,2.0
17587,nothing  just annoying someone xd,0.0
17588,joobiouspip its real easy to find get to marble arch station take subway exit  park lane once your out its directly to your left ,0.0
17589,litebytes i just asked him again and he said i would have  get a job so i can buy the new iphone thats not gonna happen anytime soon ,2.0
17590, problems only happy people with depression understand  via themightysite,2.0
17591,  making a gift for olc studentsshh last meeting tomorrow and well all be on our way  ,2.0
17592,lets drop ich hatte gerade k�se auf toast germandoo oh the joy of knowing some words in german  via twitt ,0.0
17593, yeah  im frreaking scared and hope that its some crazy joke  ,2.0
17594,having that cash flow prob where i have tons of  in the ether merchant acct paypal check in fed ex  my house but not deposited yet ,2.0
17595,chrishiter lol i think we can afford that without the tourney but ill try ,0.0
17596,i dont get vegetarians  my  day meatsweet fast i had salad  lunch salad  dinner and broccoli  desert  doesnt feel like i ate ,2.0
17597,tired and trapped im four years into college working towards a computer science degree and i really dont enjoy my studies or feel that im anywhere near where i need to be in understanding what ive been supposed to be learningi dont enjoy the problem solving aspects of programming i like just knowing how to do something and then doing it and most of the time i feel lost andor dont know what to do or how to get from point a to point b when working on a program ill likely have to do a  year possibly even  due to my ineptitude and im already at a point where i cant stand what im doing and it takes all of my willpower just to keep working i hate programming i cant stand doing this anymore but im  years in so i cant turn back i want to switch majors or just drop out of college but i cant bring myself to do that ive already accumulated a decent amount of debt i cant just accumulate all that debt and then have nothing to show for it my family is poor and i live in an extremely small town has a population of just a little over  people theres nothing where i live job wise aside from fast food restaurants dollar stores and gas stations were i to give up on college and grant me the rest i so desire i would only continue to be poor and never be able to leave i dont even have a car vehicles are expensive id be stuck in this dead end town and poor forever if i gave up now i dont want to be stuck on a minimum wage job but i cant switch majors at this point either otherwise ill just end up with way more debt i feel trapped doing something i hate something i loathe that i have difficulty bringing myself to do and i have to keep doing this for another year i dont even want to go through the next month and a half for the semester another year sounds nightmarish and when i imagine myself as a programmer working at a job struggling as i do now to understand what im doing it horrifies me i dont want to be a programmer i dont want to suffer this constant struggle this frustration and confusion that comes from writing codeoriginally before i latched onto the idea of cs i wanted to study meteorology and get into weather im fascinated by weather but i put that aside because i had aspirations to get into video game development as much as i love games now after all this time im not sure i could bear to be a programmer but i cant exactly go back its too late now i cant afford to keep accumulating debt and spending even more time in school especially since my gpa isnt exactly amazing i failed and had to retake classes quite a few times in some cases this is also why im behind and might wind up with another year im terrified that i might even wind up with a semester going into a  as i saidthough even beyond this i feel like every inch of pride i used to have has died i used to be so proud feel so smart i lack talent my main source of pride in life was doing well in school my  and  grade years i went to a new highschool and started to struggle and once i got into college the farther ive gotten the worse it got my pride has died everyone around me all my peers know more than i do about programming i feel dumb and inadequate constantly group projects are especially terrible because everyone around me is discussing and doing work at a tremendously higher level than i and i feel completely useless i want to pull my weight so that way i dont seem like im just trying to latch onto them for an a but i have no idea how to help when i dont even understand what theyre doing or what they want me to do i get the feeling most of the people around me were programming before they came to college while college for me was almost just starting out to learn how to program for me minus an intro class i took in highschool that i didnt entirely understand this is made worse when a teacher berates the class after getting a lot of bad grades or getting a lot of questions about a particular topic that he thinks we should know going you all should know this already making asking questions seem uncomfortable but im at a point even where im not even sure what questions to ask in some cases just plain not understanding whats being talked about in class im falling apart here struggling to latch onto things ive learned some things in college to be sure but not nearly enough to be useful in the workforce i imagine but even trying to suffer through all of this trying to deal with this confusion and lost pridei dont want to do this anymore i want out of this field i want out of this college i dont want to go to classbut i have toim trapped im too far in to give up now so ive put myself into a position of constant suffering and confusion i wish i had someone to lean onto to help me and guide me and go to when im struggling if i wasnt so alone dealing with this wouldnt be so bad but i dont have any irl friends to lean on that go to this school besides one and shes constantly busy and with others my parents used to be a source of comfort when im in need of someone to talk to but theyre hours away from my school im completely socially inept i have no idea how to make friends initiate conversations or anything like that so i have no one to talk to when in need sure there are people online but talking to people online isnt the same as doing it in person its not a personal its not as comfortingi hate being alone so much it eats away at me beyond just needing someone to talk to im lonely in other ways though i often find myself craving a relationship i want a girlfriend or a boyfriend someone to love and care about whod feel the same way about me in return but once again i dont know how to talk to people im terrified of initiating conversations and im not attractive enough to have people throwing themselves at me or fawning over me some suggested i try online dating so i did simple things like downloading apps like tinder and bumble but im terrified of messaging people and no one ever messages me so said apps just became wastes of phone space ive grown a fear that i might always be alone its gotten so silly looking at fucking pictures of anime girls of all things gets me depressed sometimes because its like ill never have a girlfriend like this and whatnot goes through my mind seeing happy couples is sad i used to love romance and a part of me still kind of does but imaginging couples being happy together while im not and am unsure whether i could or would ever experiences such makes me sad i see online friends and people all happy dating and here i am so socially dumb that i have no idea how on earth they ever wind up finding someone to date i often feel like a lost causewhats the point of living what do i have to look forward to video games granted i love playing video games but whenever i stop playing video games im back to real life i have to deal with real life this real world where nothing interesting ever happens its all so dull and boring theres nothing exciting about this world even watching anime or playing video games makes me sad since all these characters go on these amazing adventures fighting bad guys and saving the world being whisked off to strange and fantastical places yet im on earth im stuck here and when i stop playing a game i remember that its not like my enjoyment from games is even alone sustainable either ive got to deal with real life at some point i cant keep up such a hobby without making money of course and im not going to be making money unless i make myself ideal for good jobs and dropping out of college isnt exactly attractive nor is failing im scared of failing right now im struggling to pass in calculus iii im struggling to pass in programming languages im taking a class i have no interest in and has no relevance to me called cultural geography and im doing poorly but passably in it im suffering through intro to software engineering due to a group project where everyone in the project is far beyond my cs knowledge levelive got until the end of april to deal with all this and then another year and then possibly another semester solely due to my ineptitude i hate it i hate this all admittedly i frequently think about suicide but im not capable of it i cant bring myself to actually take my life in fact i cant bring myself to let out these feelings at all ever beyond occasionally throwing it into posts like this online i sometimes think about screaming in the middle of class but then i dont because that would be disruptive and cause trouble for me i have trouble focusing in class whenever i am reminded of these problems which only makes my already short attention span even worse when it comes to paying attention and actually learning in class how can i ever pay attention when i feel like bursting out crying in the middle of class its enough effort just to hold myself together but that in its own way is frustrating i want to let it all out i want to get help from somebody i dont want to deal with all this alone but i never let myself let it all out i wont scream i wont cry i keep this all in quietly to myself silently and internally screaming and feeling like shit on a constant basis seeing a mental health professional might certainly help i dont know i sometimes wonder what they could possibly do how they could convince me that everything is going to be all right when i cant convince myself i dont know what the point of telling someone these problems is beyond just making me feeling better that someone knows  theyre certainly not going to suddenly make me not have spent  years of my life studying something that i dont enjoy and have trouble understanding i did look into it though but the only counseling available here would make me have to see a doctor first and pay a doctors visit fee and then get recommended for it the fact that one has to go through such a process the fact that it costs money when my family is not rich and money for school is needed just makes the idea of such less than ideal i may still do this im seriously considering it but for now i keep holding this all in and i hate iti have no one to lean onto here in real life im all alone and im just so tired tired of having to deal with all this i dont want to go to class i dont want to keep pursuing this degree but i dont have a choice at this point really i cant afford to be stuck with tens of thousands of dollars in debt nothing to show for it stuck in a dead end town with no decent paying jobs and no car such isnt the end i want so i must suffer and that sucks,3.0
17598, breh u no just make it look good ,0.0
17599,lit and spanish final tomorrow  not sure if im gonna watch the mtv movie awards now ,2.0
17600,grahamhills who who  ,0.0
17601,im all comfy in bed but im sweaty cause im wrapped in covers and shit  i like covers  but not sweat ew,0.0
17602,off to the airport for marias album launch ,0.0
17603,need to do some work ,2.0
17604,zackalltimelow jackalltimelow vinnyvegas riandawson dannykurily alexalltimelow jmatthewflyzikheymiss you guys   come backjapan,2.0
17605, check out hollywood undead then i think youll like them ,0.0
17606,praying for the victims of the metro crash  so so so so sad ,2.0
17607,coldplay good morning guy  wish you all a great day,0.0
17608,i dont want to wake up but i got to keep my girlfriend and my dad happy i committed too much to make them happy i thought a new job would fix this nothing has fixed me idek what im trying to say anymore,3.0
17609,andyhart today better than yesterday then it is friday ,0.0
17610,haha cute love to eat haha  httptwitgoocommvja,0.0
17611,thanks everyone who wished me luck domojae i knew isaiah was n dc couldnt tell ya ,2.0
17612,jacobwolfe ooooo cant wait  im ready ,0.0
17613,i cant do revision  i feel too shit and upset i cant stand it i have a fucking exam tomorrow,2.0
17614,they say bad things come in  am dreading the next one ,2.0
17615,rt bjbwalter  foxnews hillaryclinton no lockherup  shell get plenty of mental health help in prison and s ,0.0
17616,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
17617,didnt get shortlisted  going to the zoo i hope,2.0
17618,scratch that it was an accident  hour delay ,2.0
17619,motorcycle time was cancelled due to rain ,2.0
17620,httpthegioivn mi khai trng to�n tin git g�n c�u kh�ch ,2.0
17621,searching for advice encouragement or even just some validity hey good whatever time of day it is to all of you i guess im just feeling really low and depressed today and just had to voice it in some way i do have things to look forward to today and in the future but my concerns are just over casting my ability to think positively i know there is always going to be something in the world that is simply devastating as well as in my own life there will always be things that are less than ideal i guess i just wish that i could arrange my energy like instead of allowing it to drain me to the point of exhaustion i fuel myself up to create a plan for a positive change im also aware that all that is keeping me from changing are my own insecurities and fears maybe i just havent gotten to the line of knowing vs doing we are all just out here trying our best in our own time,3.0
17622,wanderingfairy i really hated doing it lisa  you know im not one to give up any of my sites i just couldnt handle it anymore ,2.0
17623,woke up about ten minutes ago and i am thinking about cutting my right leg off with the nearest knife it hurts sooooo bad  wtf did i do,2.0
17624,wheres my coco lips i miss talking to him ,2.0
17625,httpwwwjuryteamorg thats fairly clever   i think for the most part im still with the greens but this is a good idea ,0.0
17626,where is the sun and why doesnt it want to come out for us  ,2.0
17627,jamesamichael omg i thought i wouldnt make it through the day  hahaha but umm glad to see that you are back ,2.0
17628,had a pretty decent day watching xmen  later with the boys at cine de cartier ,0.0
17629,kings of leon a sexy girl should never be without a pickle ,0.0
17630,accurate description of depression is accurate thread httpstcojbxoxvoqxw,0.0
17631,realshaz mother ,2.0
17632,work blows well not the actual work but all the politics that go with it ,2.0
17633,i love aiden    i hate simon,0.0
17634,backstreetboys sighabsolutely  although weve never seen you face to face  we miss you so much ugh  pls come to turkey ,2.0
17635,i wish the us open was on ,2.0
17636,celexacitalopram  to  experiences i started citalopram   weeks ago now the first two weeks were obviously full of side effects but thats all settled now i feel very slightly better in myself but still feel like it hasnt had a great effect did any of you have this experience at  and then see an improvement from increasing the dosage,3.0
17637,sad news 💔,2.0
17638,lanalise please call me i miss youu  ill even send you the money for the calling fee,2.0
17639,traviskaimi thank you ,0.0
17640,says hay   ,2.0
17641,dear anxiety  if you love me how about you stop causing so much pain yours truly ❤ ,0.0
17642, listening to the new eminem tracksame formula as always  funny track serious track track about killing someone the end boring ,2.0
17643,la la la my comp already back ,0.0
17644, this is freaky listening to loveline archive and you just popped up lol it is part of my moping about not seeing them ,2.0
17645,idolnews  adam lamberts tweet is a fake too he doesnt have one yet ive heard ,2.0
17646,that bill person on  is not being funny isnt he ment to be funny ,2.0
17647,ninatherey youre welcome ,0.0
17648,shocked ngeliat secara live orang kelindes bus ,2.0
17649,finally dont have to wash dishes for five hours straightunfortunately studying is worse ,2.0
17650,i try and i try and it doesnt even matter none of ift matters no matter how much i try to make my art into a business i fucking fail im a fucking failure  i was so sure my jacket i painted with fucking fabric paint would was fine on delicate and its not destroyed like the last one but its not fucking perfect and thats not gonna be good enough to sell funny how one small failure could send me into an emotional spin but i cant help but feel like my life will continue to be one major disappointment after another im terrified of taking my drivers test bc i have panic attacks and get confused so easily its probably just gonna be another thing i fucking fail and everyones gonna make me feel like garbage about it i just want to go to sleep and never wake up i hate this shitty fucking planet and i hate my shitty fucking pathetic depressing anxiety constant life fucking shoot me i just wish one good thing would happen to me im trying not to eat anymore because food just makes me sick and im too tired to do it anymore everything is so bad and i hate it so fucking much why me,3.0
17651,in boston   waiting for flight to cape cod thinking about jaws,0.0
17652,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
17653,kayleighxo hey i got my friend in america to do it  you have to be in the usa its sooo anoying ,2.0
17654,caitlinaudrey noes why ,2.0
17655,rt cuntosaur a sad story in four pictures ,2.0
17656,just lost my job and now im more anxious than ever i dont even want to try anymore i feel so much better acting as a housewife every time i get a job i either get laid off twice this happened first time the company shut down and filed bankruptcy the second they couldnt afford me as a new manager so they let me go and now i had recently left a part time with okayish pay to go to a new place for full time at  but the newest job i just got fired me yesterday super shady circumstance i think the guy was unfairly paying employees its a whole thing in the past few months of being employed then unemployed or briefly employed ive gained back some weight that ive been determined to keep off and felt more depressed than ever trying to apply to jobs gives me major anxiety and i always hope they dont call back i just want to regain passion for anything like my art or my music maybe i just need to stay home but then i feel like a burden to my boyfriend since he has to pay all the bills and groceries he doesnt mind but it makes me feel useless ugh ,3.0
17657,wplinks thanks for the rt ,0.0
17658,mileycyrus i think i have same disorder stay up al night  no reason n sleep al day   suuuks,2.0
17659,back at work  looking forward to the long weekend though yay,2.0
17660,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
17661,michellemistake yeahhh then hes a dick again poor bloke cant catch a breaknor can kami ,2.0
17662,nina watch them httpwwwdfscouktvadvertisments ltlt couldnt have picked a better song  tweet tweet xx,0.0
17663,sorry family hi my name is christian boulton i plan on shooting a school up because i just like the idea of people being in pain i am  male from liverpool  merseyside if anyone tries to stop i will shoot anyone in sight i am also going to kill my family before this massacre ,3.0
17664,im at home  very very bored ,2.0
17665, mizzou shouldve started delaneynow the games all but over with the geo hr  ,2.0
17666,rt  aldubdeeperdont be sad because its over smile because it happened,2.0
17667,going to walmart for the first time in  months ah i cant help but support the unethnical place because it sells everything i need ,2.0
17668,working on a recipe for cocoa butter body scrub ,0.0
17669,dcmamexico your welcome  i am currently listening to my new silverstein cd i love itttttt   you,0.0
17670,rt dbsalliance video this is what it feels like to be depressed tonya ingram has written an open letter to her depression ,0.0
17671,dunkndisorderly nope  you are just a twitter magnet ,0.0
17672,going to church i smell like a guy ,2.0
17673,crap i broke  tweets i should probably just shut it all down and go live in a cave ,2.0
17674,tomlenk i would love to see that show  looks awesome maybe there will be one that makes it here to baltimore ,2.0
17675,thats it for me have a good night ,0.0
17676,rt tranquilpali ive talked a little about thisabout a week ago my moms childhood friend passed away it was a murdersuicideher,1.0
17677,im sooooo hurt right now  mzgottiakamenaj,2.0
17678,getting gifts recently i got two gifts from a few friends of mine and i still feel guilty about it i really dont like people gifting me stuff because i get really guilty about it because i feel like i dont deserve it and somehow i feel like an even  bigger burden to them it makes it even worse when i have financial problems i cant afford the stuff and they gift it to me dont get me wrong i really appreciate it and it makes me feel loved that there are people that like me around and that they want to spend money on me but i still feel weird about it when they first gave me a gift i almost had to cry but ill always struggle and will try to politely decline the gift  now im just wondering if peopledo the same and feel the same like me when getting gifts,3.0
17679,pointlessness  male barely talk to my parents but im either at home at school or with friends ive had barely no social life up to last year im in university but not for a program i see myself having a future in and my lack of interest in it is affecting my grades i dont have a job and i got rejected after interviews and not even invited to others i have no job experience because i lack confidence in myself i come from a well off family and i know i have an extended amount of family who care for me and love me and have big expectations for me i guess thats one of things holding me on i was pressured to take the program im in for university because of immigrant parents and immigrant family lifestyle particularly middle eastern im trying not to go into too much specifics here in case someone knows who i am if they browse the subredditi had a fling for like a month before she cut me off last year im on and off with the gym im basically skinny fat i know i can look good on some days but i dont believe it myself i dont know why maybe because i think im too short i cant flirt and im too shyim not suicidal but i didnt feel real happiness that often for the past year or so i want an escape but i feel like its too far from my reach i have no motivation to do anything because it all feels pointless to me i want to go the gym but when i was relatively fit its not like i had confidence to talk to anybody in the first place so how will it change anything ill go back to being a bit fat again like its a seasonal routine or somethingi feel like my friends see me as a shy introverted spoiled rich kid who didnt have real friends until a year ago so i often overcompensate and do many favours for them even if they didnt ask for them they know im sensitive to mean comments and i cant really detect sarcasm that well but theyre sometimes toxic so i try to shut it off as much as i can i do know they care for me though and deep down theyre trying to help the way they can i try to hang out with them as much as i can to feel less lonely but i feel like ive been lonely for most of my life my childhood friends didnt stick around after grade  and i didnt have many of them anyways i never went clubbing parties drank or smoked or until last year anyways and i still do on occasion but i cant read social cues or clues to make any friends or find a girl to talk toi often watch movies or listen to music ive watched about  movies and several animetv shows in the past  years my passion lies there and sometimes i try to make my own scripts and ideas but i dont have the storytelling experience or knowledge to really plan it all out or translating it into some organized planthis isnt a cry for help or anything i just wanted to vent somewhere,3.0
17680,torrirawr i am indeed  ,0.0
17681,feeling a little better today and the manicure that my mom tried to cheer me up w yday is helping a nice redorange color ,0.0
17682,i always wanted to go to the therapy but my very huge and overprotective gossiploving family made this impossible for me to do not only that but even a little hypothetical talk about it would instantly gain unnecessary panic like attention and after several phone calls to friends family members with something like hey clara he wants to go to the therapist is this normal which one should we call do you know anyone ask john please and next day there will be several people touching my hand and saying hey are you fine making it feel like something is wrong with me when i just want to talk to a professional in person without feeling like a babe how do i know because my sister was depressed once and ive seen how everyone reacted to it you see my familys  never changing mentality is we need to fight together we are there for you goddamn fairy tail guild or something i dont blame them and i bet there are people whod exchange everything only to be with someone as supportive but i have always hated attention so much since i remember my self as a kid ironically enough ive had the biggest birthday parties in the town to boost this weird hate doing it secretly will be risky because i actually work in my familys business as well so my tight schedule and the fact that my town is pretty small makes this almost impossible and if someone finds out i secretly go to talk to a doctor it will have even worse reaction than just straight out telling them maybe im overreacting and have too much pride in me or no balls to admit to my family but sometimes i wish i could get invisible for just a week to sort my inner problems out sorry if this feels like im trying to make it harder for you guys to make some suggestions its way more complicated than that i just wanted to let it out ive read some posts here and some of them were so so dark that my problems actually fade away a bit and i felt better because i said to my self yo you are being a bitch right now look at these people suffering here you arent even close dont know if im being terrible for healing my little wounds by reading how other people suffer anyways idk why i havent visited this sub earlier as i type these last words i already feel better because it is the first time im doing something like this feels like ive talked to someone thank you,3.0
17683,jamieneish gah i hate it when my room gets all stuffy  x,2.0
17684,dayngr howdy how are you today ,0.0
17685,abiteofsanity depends what theyre looking up   id be more concerned about surgery for dummies on the shelf,0.0
17686,marykateolsen ooo fun id love to be their next victim too bad it was fake fur  ill cut up my real fur for ur next portrait,2.0
17687, o nooo poor ll  hehe everyones crashing has frank schleck gone over a cliff yet,2.0
17688,dennisstout awww  did you move wrong on the way to work or was it bothering you this morning too,2.0
17689,theotherbrit booooo this makes me sad ,2.0
17690,lazy day and its soooo hot  outside today ,0.0
17691, mark ii ok so its not in  curtain but just has difficulty syncing at  with skyports ,2.0
17692,youtubecom watching a quotsonny with a chance epquot ,0.0
17693,madgab  i just want you to show you ecare,2.0
17694,woo i got my gdgt sticker this morning all the way from new york thanks ryanblock and peterrojas ,0.0
17695,rahimo and mymo missing u babies ,2.0
17696,  tried some new paint techniques ,0.0
17697,a depressed rant im just an invisible thing floating through life unnoticed and unfeeling until i eventually die unlovedi only have two people from highschool on my facebook and our year  leaving video came up in the feed everyone was in it even the girl who i was friends with who joined the year group  months in she was just using me so she didnt have to sit alone and the second school ended she told me how much she hated me and never spoke to me againblocked me everywhere and she was in the video tooi wasnt in it i watched the whole thing all the videos they got one by one every person to say goodbye they had a whole year photo nothing i thought for sure that the school would of had all the students in the full year photoit was  years ago but it still hurtnothing has changed in those years i still have no friends hobbies cant drive no job go days without talkingi just feel like my life has been a waste of resources like food or air or water ive never had friends and everyone i thought was my friend or at least somewhat friendly towards me betrayed me and hurt me even my own family even my own partner right now hes not talking to me because i didnt go on his video game at a certain time and do a chore for himevery time i try to end my life it fails miserably and i end up back in hospital for  weeks of inpatient then my parents dont let me leave their house im  with a very physically abusive and controlling fathermy partner has already told me that if i self harm or attempt suicide again he will leave and i cant afford to see anyone so im just stuck hereim stuck here with nothing floating through life until i die i hope i die soon i dont want to live anymore,3.0
17698,sexy costume  feline feisty cat costume  he will be purring just for you and who knows what else he would do for you ,0.0
17699,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
17700,sad by   via youtube,2.0
17701,pissed about parental controls ,2.0
17702,i feel like ive done my best oh well that i dont matter im not needed not respected not cared for where do i go from heremy dog lily is a lifesaver,3.0
17703,meeks yeah me and my cuz always make the best of any situation i need someone special too i be lonely sometimes tear  ,2.0
17704,meldelvalle hmm maybe tues or thurs i work from  though so itd have to be before or after weird schedule i know ,2.0
17705,had my first psychiatrist appointment today  it went very well my first therapy appointment is next week too i feel hopeful for the first time in a long time if my sad lazy ass can do it so can you if youve been thinking about it take the leap theres a huge weight off my shoulders and im excited for a new beginning,3.0
17706,talentunlimited awwwi want a beautiful black man ,2.0
17707,	lol oh yeah this vikings jersey is too small for the tatas  bout to cut a slit down the center of that bitch hooters s,2.0
17708,crossing roads without looking has anyone had moments where youre just mindlessly walking somewhere and when crossing roads you dont even look if theres a car coming and also got earphones on so couldnt even hear them coming its like it doesnt even matter if a car drives me over its all the same lol,3.0
17709,depression negatively affecting my marks ive had depression for as long as i can remember i barely made it through highschool im pretty sure i was pity passed in highschool math because my teachers knew about my rape after graduation i went  years just working and partying i finally went back to school this september and i never do my homework unless someone is helping usually my boyfriend if he cant help me i stare at my homework cry and then just dont do it i feel like i am incapable of doing it by myself so therefore i just dont i try really hard to convince myself to but i just dont multiple assignments have not been handed in because of this any suggestions on how to do homework while being depressed how do i motivate myself ive tried working out it makes me feel happier but i still dont do my homeworkstudy ,3.0
17710,jordanmccoy omg i am such a huge fan of urs  i just luv all ur songs ur voice is pretty,0.0
17711,fletchmcgull tis the change in weather ,2.0
17712,on my way to chicago and back today with a little knitting time in between   have a good day all,0.0
17713,charleaseyum well dont look at any guys asses ,0.0
17714,had an awesome weekend and an awesome turn out to my rummage sales on friday and saturday ,0.0
17715,adulting anxiety you feel when the person next to you on a plane is paying for wifi to check email amp ur drinking wine listening to kendrick,2.0
17716,drugs and school im a  year old dude and ive always hated school not just the normal way of hating it i have legitimately tried to kill myself over it and ever since i was  i abused opiates ritalin and pretty much anything i could get my hands on this led to an even more intense spiral into depression the moment my parents found out they sent me to a treatment center the center for success and independenceit was the worst  months ive ever lived i wanted to die every day we couldnt go home we had no control and we all hated life finally after  months i had beaten depression and anxiety i had finally wonbut fast forwards  weeks school starts again i start to feel stress to the point of using again i get caught numerous times and bam they locked everything up so about a week ago i started having strings of depression only at school and only if i hadnt had a cig or a  hour energy today im really feeling the full force of my depression so i just need some supportthank you for reading any advice is helpful,3.0
17717,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
17718,is figuring outt twitter ,0.0
17719,tristanwilds he tweet  what plans ou got for toda  x,0.0
17720,  noooooooo ,2.0
17721,rt clivesimpkins for those whove never experienced depression or who dont get it please go to redis timeline read reflect refr,0.0
17722,without sleep without having to do ,2.0
17723,smeykunz that too  checks him hes asleep he had some of my blood so he should be okay,2.0
17724,okay this goes for all users try this msnaptucom new browser so far so good  love it,0.0
17725,keepingupwkim sorry about to start working on patients  i will call you back asapamp yeah i saw that hmmm strange,2.0
17726,its called social anxiety,2.0
17727,beverleyknight hi beverleyi bet your over the moon with wolves  ,0.0
17728,tiffiniholland awesome  so good to end the day with a great moment ,0.0
17729,rt  🎶 why you sad idk 난 몰라—wait because fakelove hasnt gotten gold certification yet 🎶stream ➡️🏆 btstwt yt htt,1.0
17730,second day at the county council im really enjoying it so far mind you i think the lovely weather is helping ,0.0
17731,everytime i fall asleep my dreams are haunted ,2.0
17732,its my birthday yaaayhappy birthday to me ,0.0
17733,kjscotland is that the same as the kanbanklub  i can probably make it but didnt i say that last time  ,2.0
17734,ryanseacrest friday is  hours away in my place ha but then its gonna end sooner too ,2.0
17735,finding happiness if anyone actually decides to read this and comment i would really like to hear about the little things that make you guys happy im in a really dark place and im trying to come out of it and hearingmreading about things that make others happy might bring me some happiness thank you,3.0
17736,gone back to reporting random bikestuff here httpwwwmattmagiccom  dont expect gud grammur or spulling i r poiktur boi ,0.0
17737,subo came  on britains got talent diversity were unbelievably good though last day of filming my bollywoodstyle film tomorrow ,2.0
17738,poor little mba is on fire again ,2.0
17739,debblues dahhhhhhh yeah gotta hit the hospital soon i suppose i did eat it down some stairs about a month ago no shoes on still pain ,2.0
17740,rt cutebutnotfunny took a mental health day from work and hung out w my mom today best decision ive made in centuries ❤️ httpstco,2.0
17741,drinking juice to prepare for breaking the fast i have energy but my stomach isnt happy and i thought eating again was going to be fun ,2.0
17742,new to this im sorry if this doesnt read very well its my first time doing anything like this and i am pretty intoxicated as of right now honestly i dont know where to begin i have good friends i just swore into the army classes are going well but honestly im lonelya few weeks ago my grandmother died alone in a strange hospital and now im afraid thats how i will go that i will die alone and forgotten the closest i have ever been to love ended with her cheating on me and accusing me of sexual assault charges were dropped i have never been on a normal date and every time i get close to a girl she rejects me and i always lose a couple friends because they prefer being around whoever it was i was in love with most recently i fell in love with a girl at my school who is in the same company as me military college and she is perfect she is smart funny compassionate has the same taste in music as me and she is just honest to god amazing i know that she knows that i have feelings for her but it hasnt come up in conversation yet since it just doesnt come up that feeling of never finding love and being alone for the rest of my life is all i can think about right now spring break is in about a week and i get to go home and im not sure if ill come back to this school because i cant stand the feeling of being alone again so i am honestly planning on going for a walk into the woods with my favorite whiskey and gun and just ending itsorry for ranting,3.0
17743,in need of some help hey allim in a pretty low point at present im doing okay managing but struggling the most i have in many years im frustrated because every time things are good that damn monster always finds his way back into my life im a recent college grad with almost no job prospects i am single and most of my friends are either still in school or working full time im not that good at building new friendships and im feeling really disappointed discouraged left out and isolated really all im looking for is someone to talk to through this slump im not looking for it to be constant but just someone to talk to about day to day life or even to share life stories with im trying to battle the loneliness by connecting with others im not sure if im in the right place if im not i apologize but would also appreciate guidance to where i couldshould find what im looking for thank you for your time redditors ,3.0
17744,mum ruined my morning by telling me that the news reported nick and miley are back together ,2.0
17745,st change assembly has been cancelled due to schedules and plans sorry for all who where wanting to make it  stay posted,2.0
17746,ohmygosh  you can never get enough of the disney stars honestly i love love love love love them   ,0.0
17747,cannot sleep ,2.0
17748,whats the point of life i dont understand how im feeling and all i can describe it as is numbness but its past that point and ive felt like this for a long time i feel like i dont belong to this life like it isnt for me i cant see myself in any career my own family my own little life i cant see it  im so disconnected from social interaction i dont leave my house much and the sad thing is as much as i hate it i dont want to change it i have no motivation im so tired to the point i dont see a point on living when im so tired i cant do daily life like everyone what is the point to this life how do you really find happiness i feel nothing i get the occasional anger and im always irritated but besides that i feel nothing and i hate it i cant cry i cant laugh i cant feel anything,3.0
17749, arunbasillal remzology u guys have it orderedit reserved for u gus  dnt worry,0.0
17750,wanting the sony fw laptop to replace my bent vaio but dont want windows vista  when is windows  coming out  ,2.0
17751,applying at gnc gonna get me a new cool job ,0.0
17752,everything was going so well but now i just want to die again its been months since ive felt like thisand at first i thought itd just disappear or it was a one day thing i was wrong as usual tho since its been weeks now and its only getting heavieri self harmed again for the first time sincelate julyi was doing so well and now im disappointed in myself and i dont know what to do everything is heavy again,3.0
17753,me and my mom could not get through marley and me without shedding a tear ,2.0
17754,amtalley lt notice she still didnt say if she was gonna call  lol,2.0
17755,im home  im gonna watch the cake eaters laturr ,0.0
17756,i am so sorry twitters  i feel asleep with the laptop in the bed  i didnt get my breakfast    i got rest,2.0
17757,wandahope  ah just dandy  half asleep mind but good hehe,0.0
17758,battling loneliness and not feeling like im good enough for others so i guess trying to make a long story short ive been depressed since i was  im currently  year old gay male and theres been good times and bad times throughout the entire time freshman year of college was incredibly difficult with a suicide attempt being raped self harming feelings of loneliness and getting bullied were just the tip of the ice berg but during that year i dated a guy for  years and during the relationship i distanced myself from the few friends i had and once it was over this summer i had nobody to really help with the ordeal i did manage to reconnect with my best friend from  grade and thats been awesome but shell be moving away at the start of this summer so i anticipate ill be extremely lonely and ive been dating an incredible guy for about  months and thats going well but my self worth isnt the beet and just think i dont deserve to have these people in my life and that i dont feel special or that i wont be good enough for them in addition my boyfriend may be gone for the entire summer for a dance camp for lack of a better word so im just anticipating being extremely lonely missing two of the closest and only friendspeople in my life that i feel like they truly care for me and vis versa how can i help build my confidence and self worth and try and expand my friendships so i dont find myself only being reliant on  people for my social circle i also suffer from social anxiety so its been hard for me to go out and meet people and genuinely connect with people because of it i appreciate any help or advise yall have,3.0
17759,rt desirehayag if my homies is sad im sad too,2.0
17760,meeting w tgc folk about living together in chlesea next year exciting stuff ,0.0
17761,in the sun  its amazing ,0.0
17762, tell them girl  i know that they are totally kidding i guess others just like to read more into it than there really is,0.0
17763,congrats to my bff bomi omi off to hawaii theater for uh west oahu graduation and then to shookudo ,0.0
17764,michbias you see mojos already working whats soarin btw ,0.0
17765,i want to cry but cant my case is probably far better than a lot of other people in this sub but lately a lot of stuff happened that makes me feel like i want to cry and i know that having a good sob will gove a refresh but i keep telling my self some people have it far worse and i found myself murmering to myself every time these thoughts occur i hate myself unconsciously some help,3.0
17766, welcome back to the midwest ,0.0
17767,worst day ever ,2.0
17768, wish i could make you feel better ,2.0
17769,ok unfortunately i have to go  i will miss you all and i love you guys lots    until next time hugs,2.0
17770,tension headaches suck why cant it just go away ,2.0
17771,i dont think im depressed anymore i might delete this later but i dont think im depressed anymore i still might be depressed but not as harsh as it used to be i have been depressed for over  years and last month was my anniversary for when my depression started but now i just feel calm its kinda of weird ive had so many feelings for so long sometimes i didnt feel anything at all but now i just feel calm calm is the best word i can give for it but i feel like i have a future i feel like my life has value i feel like its okay now i didnt think i would live long enough to see today i didnt think i would have friends or get to know my family more or nice fuffly cozy covers or plants with names or dnd nights or star watching or music to listen to not out of anxiety but just bc its so nice i still sometimes struggle getting out of bed or take a shower or brush my teeth but its okay it will pass soon i dont know i dont know where my life is going i had a really bad week but i woke up and its nice thinking the only thing i could give to this world was my breathe and isnt that a nice gift to give,3.0
17772, okay well as far as i know sherina and i will be good to go on eitherboth days just waiting on word from kina ,0.0
17773,tommyreyes awe  i would have saved you half my sandwich,2.0
17774,i am just shocked and dont know what to think today i heard from my dad who always loved me no doubt about that that he wishes for me to die and rot in a pit he was my only friend,3.0
17775,clairelindstrom i wish bruiser could come to work with me ,2.0
17776,just went to the dentist more of the samexrays and the conclusion is that i need braces and new teethduh  really  ,0.0
17777, couldnt play the attachment ,2.0
17778,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17779,is there a way to just forget memories i am tormented by the past every single day living has become hell and suicide seems to be the only way out i just want to forget the past so i can finally be peaceful,3.0
17780,is upset petco doesnt sell fish bowls that fit over your head ,2.0
17781,heading to cpt today rain forecast  need a muffin to cheer this day up,2.0
17782,caseymckinnon theres so many jokes in there casey  peace,0.0
17783,back at the office after about a week of travel a little bored now waiting for saraarnold to come rescue me ,0.0
17784,heartbreaking last facebook post of ekiti director of finance michael kayode bamisaye before suicide ,2.0
17785,in a gemspec i cannot specify a gem dependency for a specific version of rails json for  but not  tf from docs suspect t ,2.0
17786,please pray  my client walter he is close to passing and pray for his wife dottie today is their  wedding anniversary darn it ,2.0
17787,blobyblo idk if youll see this but i made a fansite for you guys httpepikrefleraorg its silly but your music means a lot to me ,0.0
17788, ya but im tired so im gonna get off soon ,2.0
17789,rt leandragon mental health awareness isnt a competition there are no qualifications or limits if someone feels like they have these,0.0
17790,onestepcloser and they tookher phone and ipod too  ,2.0
17791,tamipants lol i think it was ,0.0
17792,i will miss my bee herr ,2.0
17793,lozzy thankyou i have good friends in fashion and am generally welltrained  might switch my vote to a,0.0
17794,wow even after a few extra hrs of sleep i still feel drunk and my phone is still not working ,2.0
17795,kristyree welcome to the party ,0.0
17796,now on gonna have a word of the day  todays word is hmm apocalypse,0.0
17797,im overwhelmed at the number of hits my blog got as of now lots of people reading my lomo reviews and looking for vivitar lookalikes ,0.0
17798,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
17799,marrsattacks haha me neither i totally loved that girl who spelled on her hand that would be me but i would be spelling them wrong ,0.0
17800,donotrefreeze i was in the disney theme parks the whole daymissed all the excitement of bgt on twitter today ,2.0
17801,what i thought she was gonna spiral into a deep clinical depression or something so thats good ,1.0
17802,i should be homeless the only reason im not is because my parents help pay my rent when i dont live at home or they allow me to live at home rent free ive had jobs and have taken out some loans to help me with expenses but now im just in debt broke and probably not going to get my degree as you might have guessed i let my depression and anxiety get the best of me my parents themselves are in turmoil one of my other siblings is almost just as worthless as i am and my other sibling is seemingly doing well i refuse to be a burden on them i have minimal friends basically drinking buddies and have been single for years feel like itd be selfish of me to expect someone to love me if i dont even love myself i have an addictive personality and have historically used alcohol and weed to cope with my troubles i dont want to kill myself but i also dont know where to go or what to do my dad has basically been slowly dying for over a decade cant drive or leave house really and my mom is severely depressed and worried about finances  i try to help with what i can but all i do is make things worse i feel like i deserve to suffer because all ive essentially done is be a lazy selfish anxietyanddepressedridden piece of shit fyi ive lived mainly at home and do my best to minimize my expenses without totally being a nonexistent human everything was pretty hunky dory for the first half of my life then everything gradually just went to shit i know i should just feel grateful that i have all my basic needs met unlike so many other people but that just makes me feel worse why me and not them i dont want to even try to live a happy life if it means so many others have to suffer because of it ,3.0
17803,keyoperatedzero hugs  u need it bby ,2.0
17804,morning by the way ,0.0
17805,gettin ready to spend the day out on the water last weekend in antalya ,2.0
17806,elizapatricia go for both you know you want to ,0.0
17807, more days to go ,2.0
17808,watching watchmen on the big screen was worth it ,0.0
17809,is up up up time for accounting revision ,2.0
17810,s morning cliche getting up was a bitch ,0.0
17811,ewww toni had boobies in her face ,2.0
17812,ririchard she acts like i dont have guy friends so now i have to be home by like  bummer ,2.0
17813, you know im in agreement with that ,0.0
17814,gingiringingin not that i dont mind people talking to me but my throat is killing me socan i just shut up for a whole day please ,2.0
17815,mrsoft okay  who should i tell red faction sucks now,2.0
17816,has a notenoughtoeat induced headache ,2.0
17817,i want to see transformers  soo bad but theres no one to go with ,2.0
17818, thats okay ,0.0
17819,destinysports i loved it    its so damn big my feet are hurting  did you go,2.0
17820,departureenvycandy  pix will be posted throughout the night txt the cell,0.0
17821,myliverandlungs bc some shmuck  already took it before i realized i like it better than sashok then i realized it amp turns out he has it,0.0
17822,mrjcloninger dont let stress ruin your day support your mood stability with natural vitality calm try it out httpstcoorqxbyztkc,1.0
17823,support advice plz ive only been taking wellbutrin for a few days im having intense waves of anxiety and my heart feels like its racing even after sitting for  min am i imagining things i just feel so tired and wired just had a panic attack i have a doctor appointment tuesday should i just suck it up and give it more time im so exhausted in this constant battle for my mental health i just want to be ok i feel so alone i have the most supportive partner but my constantly awful mental healthpmddcpstd and new problems restless legs insomnia have been wearing on him i almost dont want to seek his support in the future cuz i dont want to lose him i guess im seeking support here id be thankful for any,3.0
17824,please help  my depression is making my partner suffer so much and i dont know what to do ive been with my partner seven years we live together and are very happy over the last few months ive been sinking further into depression in january i had a suicide attempt and since then ive been in recovery ive had to leave my job which i loved and im still very much in the midst of recovery my partner has been amazing throughout but i know its been a lot on him his family arent a huge help they tend to put all their problems on him and dont really help if he needs them and of his closest friends one has just had a baby and the other is himself going through a mental health crisis i know he feels like he cant unload onto anyone and he is carrying this huge burden alone he is also ill and often in physical pain over the last few months he has been having a load of medical tests to find out about what the root cause is and how to treat it so he already has so much on his plate i feel so bad that my being so ill is just another pressure on him over the last few days he has been really low mood wise and often unable to do much at all he opened up and said that me being ill right now is sometimes a contributing factor which of course i knew but having him say it made me feel so dreadful i love him and i hate that my depression is hurting him i dont know what to do i know i cant wave a magic wand and fix this but i wish i knew how to make it easier for him its hard knowing that by being here im causing pain to the most amazing person,3.0
17825,darrellmorrison i have dmd you good sir and now follow you so you may reply back ,0.0
17826,this is a pretty cool tune ive stumbled over  ♫ ,0.0
17827,officialtila god damn i live in canada wen u gna do sumthg herr ,2.0
17828,mishhh hahahaits a record for me tho  be proud of your sister ,0.0
17829,i swear the day is getting longer while the night is getting shorter ,2.0
17830,i am worrying about my dog she was snake bit  day  ,2.0
17831,powder blue is a sad movie ,2.0
17832,rt fineeassgirllll depression is something you can hide so good but when youre  alone its there with you ,0.0
17833,working on new blog postings product reviews amp my tan  gotta look good for cybernetexpo w a golden tan ,0.0
17834,i am all alone my friends have better people and places to hang ,2.0
17835,will miss you tonight  httpplurkcompubfxs,2.0
17836,cant cryother ramblings hellothis is my first time posting here and it seemed like a good way to get adviceive been diagnosed with depression when i was   now and all seemed to get better but suddenly it worsened i dont know what happened or if this is normali can be as sad as ever and i cant cry i physically cant do it all i feel is dullness no matter what i do maybe im stupid im not sure another thing ive been contemplating is just disappearing not exactly suicide but just vanishing and wanting to be forgotten i dont want to hurt my family or my boyfriendim not sure what this all means like i said previously could be teenage angst or something more are these warning signs of anything,3.0
17837,camillethejonas good  nice trip to youre home  ,0.0
17838,dead end everything has come to a dead end my relationshipmy jobmy lifei cant seem to just break myself from any of these things i feel more curious about the afterlife than the waking life i dont speak up for myself and allow myself to be miserable i wish and wish and hope like hell my brain flips on a switch and i make a changebut i dont even have the oomph to do that that switch is broken i feel broken i just want to be left alone and creep into a dark hole never to come back out i feel suffocated by the days of routines and stagnated air that never seems to circulatei can see beautiful flowers everywhere around me yet when i try and smell them nothing still a broken switch whats is this life for anyways really ,3.0
17839,how to deal with the feeling of failures it sucks when your getting better but fall back into depression bc of things you did while depressed ex bad grades after a semester bad reputation after missing workhow do you escape the cycle of depression depressed —gt suck at flake on responsibilities —gt almost out of depression —gt life gets harder —gt falls back into depression due to feelings of failure suckiness of life,3.0
17840,missing my daddy ,2.0
17841,working from home still doesnt allow you to enjoy the good weather im tied to my desk with no end in sight ,2.0
17842,rt  senatorcantwell dont make a mockery of your own enviro record w  aka sea lion cull  protect the status quo,1.0
17843,when ever i have a smile the anxiety always makes me crawl into a ball inside,1.0
17844,xhottiegotback thats too bad ,2.0
17845,mariqueen happy you amp trent got engaged best of luck to you both peace from nin fan for  happy tr found true love with you  mary,0.0
17846,that sucks ,2.0
17847,another gorgeous day added to a perfect weekend  x,0.0
17848,she�s on the way to perth  australiatweeters have many fun with funhouseaustraliatour with pnk her show is definitely amazing ,0.0
17849,ive been feeling stuck for  years and i feel like im only going backwards turning  tomorrow i dont post on reddit much but i guess my post is some sort of vent or me seeking advice in my mixed up life i dont know i guess ill just type whats on my mindall throughout my childhood i dont remember getting any emotional support from my father constantly neglected verballyampphysically abused and even ostracized from my siblingsmy mom is pretty cool but shes also unstablepsychosis has had an abusive childhood and has also been abused by my dad so shed reflect her stress on mei know ive been talking about me a lot but i see myself as a problem child and ive always got the short end of the stickbecause of the family that i grew up in im always on edge about what others think of me so i tend to over think things too much growing up my father has always discouraged me from socializing other with people or even making friends he says theres no such thing as a friend as a result i never gained any strong social skills heck i never even left my home as a childnearing the end of my freshman year in high school me my mom and siblings moved to san diego because of a divorce never before in my life had i had so much freedom but i felt so distant from everyone else at my new school isolating myself but not so much to where im not talking to anyone eventually i found my group of friends id feel at ease with for the rest of my stay in san diego they got me out my shell invited me to parties introduced me to weed helped me through relationships with  women and breakups they really got me out my shell and slowly showed me how to love people and show my emotionsafter my senior year in high school i had to move back to los angeles because of financial issues left my friends and many other relationships since then ive been stuck home with my moms side of the family and have barely left home for two years ive got trust issues and anxiety is taking over my life i dont know how to operate on my own and im feeling stuck in lifetldr i just dont know what to do,3.0
17850,final day at collegefeeling so sad ,2.0
17851,dinsterdobbins  late nah happy to say ive written every thing ive shotor shot everything ive written whichever sound better ,0.0
17852,sometimes trust your anxiety when its that real deep gut feeling,0.0
17853,oneredsock the safest form of marshalling  watching on tv avec cider ,0.0
17854,my tweets are disappearing again ,2.0
17855,xxloverxx oh   i hope she gets well soon,2.0
17856,i think i lost i think i lost my fight with depression up until this point i was under the impression that things would get better thats what i was told and i believed it for some time ive lost most those who cared and pushed away everyone else and now im alone ive wanted to die get hit by a car never wake up again get held at gunpoint and killed but not once did i think id take it into my own hands until now i have one person trying to help me out but it just seems like a lost cause and i feel im wasting her time i should have tried getting professional help before it was too late i dont know what i expect posting here to be completely honest maybe i dont want to go just yet but i feel like i do,3.0
17857,nye i couldnt hold myself back from crying at the table i felt like shit the whole time having to pretend to be happy i feel so anxious in front of my family  was the worst year of my life i hate new years everyone is expected to change and become better people and no one understands that i just want to stay the same shitty and depressed and hopefully not live to see another nye,3.0
17858,happy burrrday deejayecho we love you brotha ,0.0
17859,thinking about cmis vs webdav jackrabbit will have both  and most projects using jackrabbit like jahia will have both too ,0.0
17860,why is it no one makes gluten free noodles  spaghetti yes but never noodles ,2.0
17861,ladyleoelyse its true  it was a big mess  ,2.0
17862,dawandaen  have you checked etsy  im ready to list more owl bags today like the cute ones in my sold section  juliemeyeretsycom ,0.0
17863,quotyoure so indecisive or decisive i cant decidequot ,0.0
17864,something on the roadsparks loud bang thump front end damage andbthe driver door wont open now joy only two more payments ,2.0
17865,i wish there were nuts in my cheesecake fantasy ,2.0
17866,it will be so nice to see the election posters removed  one metre high pictures of politician does not make a pretty sight ,2.0
17867,me  el ultimo cap q salio del manga de nanatsu this is so sad alexa play netsujou no spectrum,2.0
17868,i was looking forward to the park todaynot so much anymore seeing the grey skies  ,2.0
17869,kbeveridge does that make you a geek or just a smart person ,0.0
17870,youngq sounds easy enough doesnt it but i cant seem to  pull myself away i gotta leave for work in  hours ,0.0
17871,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17872,mountainnews fyi that link points to the quotvintage jet fighter at warplane museumquot article ,0.0
17873,hanging out with carrleyy tonight before she leaves to europe tomorrow ,2.0
17874,feeling nothing sometimes— i dont even feel s a d n e s s  just nothing and the world is just therenothing to think about nothing to look atno matter how much you try to appreciate things it just doesnt workits like looking at a blank wall its nothing important to see just existingsometimes it doesnt even feel real like youre not in your own body experiencing your own feelings and looking at the world from a  person view it all feels like seeing the world in black and whitethats how i describe it at least,3.0
17875,any advice for weening off lexapro ive been on it for a little over a month and although it has really helped with depression and anxiety im just starting to feel less like myself i also get really bad motion sickness when im in a car and not driving which is really inconvenient and makes me really irritable and ive never had this problem before i just feel content with doing nothing all day and i dont want to feel this way anymore i think i can manage my depression without it now and if i really do need it i can always go back on it does anyone have any advice for weening off of it what are some of the long term side effects that you guys have experienced from taking it for years,3.0
17876,woke up and my day is already shitty i woke up this morning with a call from my bank saying my account has been compromised for over  ive already been in and since the amount of money was taken was so exorbitant amount they cant even give me credit to replace it for the time being i already had trouble  paying rent the last month and with rent due soon and my landlord being a tough person i think im gonna get kicked out my family is away on vacation with no signal and i dont really have friends who can help im so fucked and i think i wanna just call it a day week month everything,3.0
17877,i need help i am about to talk about something that i hated my self for and am embarrassed about so please dont make fun of meim a  year old guy in  grade so back in  grade i had a crush on this really cute girl named kate i asked her out and she said no i was so sad and i cried all nighthere is the embarrassing thing being a stupid immature  grader who didnt know what the fuck he was doing i created a fake instagram account so i could talk to her it hurts to even write this someone found out and told the school kate found out of course i had my schedule moved around so we didnt have classes togetheri forgot about her and all that happened for all of  gradea few months ago i started remembering the things that happened and i hated my self for it i beat myself up about it and now that i had classes with kate again the feelings i had for her came back i love her more than i ever have i told my friend who is also friends with her i told him everything and he told me that she was afraid of me for a bit that made me hate myself even more i attempted to talk to her about everything but she just walked away my friend later told me that kate said she forgives me but that she doesnt have feelings for meive been crying everydaynight and sometimes a little at school i love her so much and i want to be with her if i didnt do such a stupid thing i might have had a chance at being with her ive gone into a huge depression i used to be happy all the time but now im always sadtoday we were talking about romeo and juliet in class and we were supposed to give advice to one either romeo or juliet kate said that juliet shouldnt marry romeo because who would want to be with a person who stalked them when she said that i died a bit inside and i was about to burst out in tears right in the middle of class but i held it in till i got homei love her so much and id do anything to be her boyfriend its just not gonna happen though i dont know what to do because i feel horrible everyday and i want to be happy i cant forget her im trying to move on but i cant i just want to die now,3.0
17878,misscindybabyyy no lol my legs hurt ,2.0
17879,well off  sleep yes im going  bed early but i feel terrible ,2.0
17880,just woked up at kiimi missing my baby but hes coming soon ,0.0
17881,maggim nothing struck my fancyexcept for some beetleseep ,0.0
17882,donniewahlbergs twitter makes me really sad now   ,2.0
17883,was at the farm a few hours ago the smell of durians gives me a headache ,2.0
17884,oh my fuck same httpstcotwrqhcphco,0.0
17885,right i reckon its gotta be an amazon or play purchase for  tracks of kissysellout  this kiss gutted no ones selling athe cd ,2.0
17886,ive been on new meds for almost  weeks and today ive been hit with such a down day very depressed lethargic and unmotivated it was all going so well i thought i was back on track today for no reason at all ive been tired and depressed all day with no energy and i was even really suicidal this morning this has also brought a lot of my anxiety and paranoia backis this normal,3.0
17887,joshftv thanks ,0.0
17888,mainerinrancho geez mr money bags lol thats what natalie tried to get me to buy but met halfway way  now im paying the real price,0.0
17889,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety httpstcoszkpbhzztx,1.0
17890,onefluff yes i was in an office poor me  how was the beach,2.0
17891,mood dh kurang  tambah lagi kucing buat hal lagi down dan stress hm,2.0
17892,the lockdown made me kinda happier hello first time im here i dont know why but im kinda happier that people are not going out and having fun people complaining that they cant get sex and stuff i know thats a horrible thing to say and selfish but thats my life sinve forever and now they understand beeing me or not really because no one cares about meyea nothing else has changed for me im still the unwanted loser that no one will ever love lets see how long i can take thishow do you guys feel,3.0
17893,is so bored at home tryna find somehing to do ,2.0
17894,imma fail my exam tomorrow uhoh  need to do revision ,2.0
17895,webbie wat typ of fights my xams r near so i can come   much  so wanna knw,2.0
17896,shama we still have to do it manually  im going to big the dev team to allow videos to appear automatically,2.0
17897,reneedeluca but not as beautiful as you   morning gawjus  ,0.0
17898,everything is just trouble  going to a friend tonight ,0.0
17899,the effects of  are getting to me hi i am devastated but not suicidal yet my world is bleak and theres nowhere i can go the coronovirus is expected to decimate the job market i work in a small team at a large organization that is synonymous with layoffs in the industry my boss is to put it mildly an obnoxious indecent chap who weilds an iron hand his unruly behavior is directed at me mostly additionally i am deep in debt i have personal loans and a mortgage i must be earning every month for the next  years i cannot change jobs or take any risk given the scenario though i dont have a wife or kids yet dont you think i should die i cant stand going to work deal with my girlfriend or stand my familyi am bipolar and on medications including antidepressants,3.0
17900,tindle lol  oh the cheese wont mind here we can buy aged cheddar with port  now thats added value ,0.0
17901,stressed out belly syndrome ,2.0
17902,just got off the phone with my mom we were on the phone for an hour she made me feel better  but i still hurt,0.0
17903,alidllesdazed its not even  yet up because u hav a xtra day off ,0.0
17904,steveplunkett awwwsorry about the kitty ,2.0
17905,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
17906,on my way to dallas only  and a haf hours left ,2.0
17907,long day good night ,0.0
17908,kevendones   it is tomorrow so register asap  i thought it was next week ,2.0
17909,rt inkfreeskin tobrap niallofficial its fake im sad ,2.0
17910,i was doing okay until a wave of depression hit me i was going home to prepare for my exam and it hit me out of nowhere i have had depression for a while now its just that i messed up my quiz for no reason missed classes that day reached out to a friend or two who helped me calm down its just so unfair how i have to perform subpar due to something i cant control i hate having depression and i wish i could just leave it,3.0
17911,about to watch quotthe patriotquot with sam and take a nap before our night out in hollywood ,0.0
17912,jensenackles new to twitter new to supernatural  im only  day old  jst ordered  season after seein  gud random ep lastnte ,0.0
17913,poppymartinez aww you wrote that last update whne you were still in the car with me  httpmylocmefoq,2.0
17914,good morning twitter just woke up  ,0.0
17915,im going through a lot of stuff right now i was honestly the happiest person i knew for the longest time then my wife cheated on me and that started me being depressedmost my friends were more hers than mine which didnt help and im not good at bonding with peoplebut i rallied and focused on sports and fitness and it really helped me feel a lot better it gave me a whole part of my life where there was something i could control and made me feel like im good enough plus i met a lot of people that way then i tore my acl now i cant do any of that and i dont see any of the people i met through sports after surgery it will be at least  months of recovery sometimes i feel ok meditation really helps but being broken and lonely really blows ,3.0
17916,im exhausted sleepy even there are  marks under my eyeslack of sleep not in the best mood to attend any parties really ,2.0
17917, bahah ,0.0
17918,rt brademarino i have an anxiety disorder but sure ill take two red bulls and a green tea latte to go,1.0
17919, same thing work ,2.0
17920,lost one of my best friends one of my closest friends isabella recently we just ended our friendship im a boy btw we were very close but i liked her more than just a friend and i told her about my feelings ever since she has not hung out with me for  months we dont talk as much and she did not put much effort into out friendship at all i approached her about it and we got into an argument and now we are no longer friends ik she is not good for me and i was in a one sided relationship but i cant help but feel that i miss her sm ,3.0
17921,dpburland yes i think i might just do that hehe might watch sleepless in seattle my fave ,0.0
17922,rt itstaytorres depression isnt always suicidal thoughts and loneliness and unending sadness sometimes its sleeping too much or too,2.0
17923,to think ive been back for weeks and i still havent unpacked my suitcase sad,1.0
17924,here at the office boom bamm making things happen live live ,0.0
17925,early morning posting to get my wamp westwind entry uploaded didnt get the matt varnish done in time so its a shiny photo ,2.0
17926,the state of the world is making it hard to function im normally a very depressed person ive been hospitalized and through will and determination ive managed to hold down a decent job in a city but i cant keep watching the news i dont know whats going to happen to the united states i dont know how long the climate is going to allow us to live within it and i dont know if i can handle this existential dread much longer i feel like the world is ending and ive been right all along i dont believe in god but if i did id pray he ends it all swiftly,3.0
17927,how long does it take medication to take full effect in your experience i havent posted in this subreddit before i hope this doesnt violate any guidelinesive been clinically depressed for nine months and recently went on medication but despite taking it as instructed for weeks nothing has changed if anything i feel less motivated than before its been past the point where my psychiatrist said theyd be at full effect i know it can take a long time to work but what should i do until then is there anything you did to speed the process up like change your diet,3.0
17928,finally twitters worked for me ,0.0
17929,waaaat thats all i do i legit live all my moments in my head no matter what im doing i constantly have this storyline that im thinking about who and where id rather be i mean a full on movie of my life playing in my minds eye ppl places events comedy tragedy laughter and tears i laugh out loud and bring myself to full face covered tears if someone here trys talking to me i try to get the convo over asap so i can get back to my fantasy i even get mad sometimes if im being distracted to long,3.0
17930,is in a good mood today ,0.0
17931,shelbymorgz why is comfort a sad thing haha,1.0
17932,sigh   leno had his last show last night how sad to see him go    conan will be great though hes awesome as well,2.0
17933,my back is killinggg me  eff muscle spasms one more night of closing tomorrow then i get a day to relax thankfully,2.0
17934,in the end its just words people say that dont translate into reality everybody wants to give words of encouragement to feed there own ego  actions is help not bull shit words  everybody knows everything right  nobody could live my life for an hour and some prescripted mental health pill is suppose to help  fucking joke ,3.0
17935,dont do it man my friends brother called him wasted and said im going to shoot myself hung up and did  it  god fucking damn  i cut my wrists when i was  and screwed up and also wasted i was just lucky enough to make it through  if youre in a bad place and struggling those feelings are real they also arent permanent its not easy im not here to make light of anything but any future is better than no future at all i promise you there are people that care about you if nothing else sleep on it and see if its still a good idea in the morning  ,3.0
17936,im all on my lonesome  ,2.0
17937,time to head home   san fran was sooo nice im not going to miss these hills tho,2.0
17938,julesobri jules  ivy house with no guitar and voice bravo bravo  what time you coming up  no kisses are not for twitter but x,0.0
17939,lushltd why cant i buy the new night in for toes i see it its within my grasp but its just not bringing it to my shopping cart ,2.0
17940, im now reading my fashion book  ,0.0
17941,oooh please go get him for me  i wish he wasnt so weird yesterday i hope tomorrow he isnt ,2.0
17942,dessdollawhat u doin im hungry ,2.0
17943,missing laura again today in multimedia ,2.0
17944,beware of betterhelp  dont register there if you need help hello therei just wanted to warn anyone thinking of subscribing to this site of online counseling betterhelpcom  they supposedly offer you counseling or help you with whatever problem youre facingbut the truth is that theyre just a waste of time and money they ask you a bunch of questions to match you with someone who can actually help you with your problem but they dont do that at least in my case i was never paired with anyoneand there are other users who reported that their counselor didnt help them either httpswwwredditcomrdepressionsearchqbetterhelpamprestrictsronas you can see there are multiple cases where people have complained about this siteso if youre looking for help like me better look elsewhere and dont put any hope on this site i thought it was an useful site and it would have helped me but it is noti hope all of you are doing better folks,3.0
17945,instagram has been ranked by a new report as the worst social media site for its negative effects on mental health ,2.0
17946,kimjensen i know   want  more  but just in the ears ,0.0
17947,a rough time so to preface this last year i found out my girlfriend was pregnant and we decided to keep it started prepping for it and one of my friends also found out his gf was pregnant a little before mine but around  months in my girlfriend miscarried after that we split and havent spoken since other than to say that we arent a thing and ive really been struggling with it off and on the hardest part is now my friend is a father as of monday and i cant be around them because of it even just thinking about it let alone talking about them hurts and sends me spiraling so i dont talk to them as much as possible he wasnt that good of a friend but hes a worse bf and probably gonna be a terrible dad so i want to help the gf as much as i can being separate but i cant i worry ill let too involved and kinda treat the kid as mine subconsciously which obviously isnt my place and would cause trouble for everyonedoes anyone have any tips to helping move on from something so shitty and world destroying and any pointers to switch off that instinctive dad mode every since then its been left on cause i was so ready but i have no clue how to switch it back offthanks for any helpsupport ,3.0
17948,mikevegasbaby tell me if im wrong or righttt tell me i can stay tonight i love that song im seeing them really soon ,0.0
17949,thought i should jump on the bandwagon ,0.0
17950,trixxaayyy aw argh ,2.0
17951,suerk am i the only one missing out   bloody glad about that although ive noticed theyre attacking via skype now as well ,2.0
17952,girlzontheblock gotta look for tix on other websites stub hub ebay etc  we got ours on ebay   good luck,0.0
17953,omg i cant recite too much on my big test ,2.0
17954,is awake i feel so rested but my body is achy ,2.0
17955,los problemas de salud mentales merecen respeto nadie elige vivir con eso ,1.0
17956, no will check ,0.0
17957,what to look forward to this week hopefully finishing the eng part of the flash site bbq on sat rainy week ,2.0
17958,watching the krystle vs alexis catfights on youtube i miss dynasty ,2.0
17959,sad that ill be celebrating my birthday in the air,2.0
17960,eating tiger bread my sister got fresh and warm this morning omg it tastes so so good ,0.0
17961,radiogeek how do you like it ,0.0
17962,annagoss  im not happy at thatalways sad at the end of a maclet me know if you want the data rescuing off itor is it being replaced,2.0
17963,eunicedebritto there perfect   i want a love like this,2.0
17964,i need something exciting to happen  life is so mediocre right now ,2.0
17965,paolaquidlat haha talagaa  sayaang  tsk i missed a lot,2.0
17966,it doesnt hurt i didnt put sun tan lotion on my backbut everywhere else its tan ha ,0.0
17967,oh yeah i love rats in the infirmary by cky this song kicks so much ass i can see a video happening ,0.0
17968, i love cali  hope that made ya feel better cause its true ,0.0
17969,derricklight  theres no me around that is what is wrong,2.0
17970,the rain is finally falling thank god im home ,0.0
17971,why cant i read my direct message ,2.0
17972,rt itsmattbarrett hey my names matt i have awful anxiety crippling depression and daddy issues,2.0
17973,credit unions ftw cashed my cheque in straight away ,0.0
17974,backstreetboys hahahaha its better when ur around  lets goooo bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb,0.0
17975,joelitton i think i am have been wanting to for a while ,0.0
17976,stupid parents are loud as hell in the morning now i cant fall back asleep  but its pretty and foggy outside,2.0
17977,devon and i are looking stylin for jason and amys wedding we got some super cute pics ,0.0
17978,taking security measures  patching up the backdoor,0.0
17979, dont think about oreos think about chocolate helps me mask my pains good luck at docs toy thinking of you ,0.0
17980,elizobihfrank thank you so much sweetie ,0.0
17981,pamjob should have done the old bunny hop ,0.0
17982,really cant work twitter ,2.0
17983,oh so tired reading zines and trying not to think about my op tomorrow ,2.0
17984,night all i am beat ,0.0
17985,sittin at home watching obsessed gotta go deliver an order in a while ,2.0
17986,im so hungry thank goodness its almost dinner time got to get ready for school tomorrow oh waitits summer time lol ,0.0
17987,trying to get the size  plugs in my ears it hurts ,2.0
17988,think im gonna start another game those things were fun ,0.0
17989,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
17990,repinging nunub is it pathetic that i  or am i just pathetic    naw you a cutie,2.0
17991,stoked with his wife charliepaul for winning busselton half ironman yesterday  only  weeks after her im china win go champ ,0.0
17992,captainneutrino   i want to be at wwdc ,2.0
17993,jamba juice cures my pain yummers ,0.0
17994,swiggs aww im sorry now youre making me feel bad ,2.0
17995,tiarastar i want some ,0.0
17996,sap tackles indirect access anxiety updates corporate pricing and licensing zdnet  ,2.0
17997,taking classes okay i know nobody cares but my mom says she wants me to take more classeslessons so i chose swimming and piano and maybe even dance im really nervous and im kind of having a mental breakdownanxiety attack because she wants me to be more social and make more friends the problem with that is that i completely forgot how to make friends and even with my last few that i had i ended up cutting them off because i was getting too consumed in my depression to even socialize anymore so it would be too awkward to continue and be social i feel like im torn in halfone part of me is happy and hopeful that i can finally maybe make friends and do things i love to do but the other part of me is scared and anxious that ill do everything wrong and make a fool of myself help ,3.0
17998,now many are talking about buying  based on anything and everything like quotthe time dr thio spokequot so singaporean   awaresg,0.0
17999,mer got the forms awredy thanx ,0.0
18000,rbuerckner yes why ,0.0
18001,sometimes that cat just swats me with her claws for no reason  im the dog  im supposed to be in charge  stupid cat  ,2.0
18002,  its so damn hard to find jeans to fit me  and that was a size ,2.0
18003,michaelhyatt and i dont know what im doing still up so late on west coasthey isnt that how we met back in early twitter days ,0.0
18004,spending some quality time with my two favorite dogs ,0.0
18005,justhad a mirror fall on my heel and slice me open  eh im tough heh heh coco,2.0
18006,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
18007,alinapopescu morning  my monday mood has just got better for a song ,0.0
18008,major deegan expressway to manhattan for fall out boyi effin love my mom for waking me up and driving me at  ,0.0
18009,is glad she can find bruno funny again ,0.0
18010,hubs wants to go back to eating meat i dont want to ,2.0
18011,acdalgaard  youre welcome ,0.0
18012,only  comments on my rr so far ,2.0
18013,ohmygosh i just fucked up my whole day i felt sleep and wasnt able to do everything i wanted ,2.0
18014,spinning on the swivel chair  whilest talking to maii,0.0
18015,dannybrown no worries plus it is kind of time sensitive  the clock is ticking ,0.0
18016,rt queenshanahlee no stress in passion just patience persistence and learning when to rest in the midst of et all thankh yah elohyim,0.0
18017,get ya money up ,0.0
18018,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
18019,stuck at work on a saturday night boohoo ,2.0
18020,jonathandann damn i didnt know sofa had internships ,0.0
18021,all i ever do is react to whatever situation i currently find myself in i dont know how to really describe it its just that it never really feels like im in control im in the passengers seat just along for the ride i can see whats going on but it never really feels like its me thats doing it all i ever do is observe sometimes i think maybe ive somehow separated my consciousness from reality that all i can ever do is watch my body only ever reacting to the current stimuli i dont knowits weird its not like an outofbody experience or anything like that its just i feel completely detached from reality the world inside my mind is entirely different from the world outside my body i am just an observer i can see all that is going on but i am never really a part of what is happening sure its my body doing the things that it does but is it really me doing it i wish i knew the answer,3.0
18022,dazieh i will pay for my extravagant snooze this morning as i have  hours of sewing followed by same of housework ahead of me today ,2.0
18023, dates de concert en france pour quotthe resistance tourquot de muse  httpwwwmusemu,0.0
18024,alone in a relationship i dont really know why im posting this but i will anywaysure there are times that everything feels great and i feel fine but the vast majority of the time i feel completely alone and crippled by invasive thoughts we live together infact were sitting together in bed right now buti dont know i just feel alone most of the time does anyone else feel this way ,3.0
18025,watching some old episodes of csi i miss grissome  ,2.0
18026,i dont understand why im not invited to any hangouts and it is killing me first of all heres a recent event that kicked me off to write this theres this group of friends that consists of guys and girls im good friends with all of them especially the guys since they are my close friends while im not officially in on the group i like to sit with them and they welcomed me we often laugh and do fun stuff too one day im sitting with them while they discuss where they should go out and eat on the weekend they even asked me for suggestions and while im drawing blanks i thought they were going to let me in on this thing afterwards i personally asked to one of the guys at the group  which im very close with when they would go out and i hinted that if you guys finally decided the place count me in too im usually free at home anyway and he seemed okay with it but as you guessed it they didnt invite me at allthe guys that on that group also likes to hangout with different circles for example they went to a sushi place went shopping went to a fancy restaurant all with different circles its not because they are in those circles its because they are good enough to be invitedin the other hand i have my own circle of friends i usually initiate a hangout since i have the most free time and eager to go out but now the other guys got lots of problems for instance theres this dude whose mom still restricts him to go out on the weekends another that is essentially broke and so on in the end all the hangouts cancelled due to reasonsnow to the most frustrating part some of the guys in my circle coincides with the group of girls and guys i told earlier they know how free i am they know i have cool ideas up my sleeve they know how i would do anything to go out with my friends and yet im not good enough for them to be at least asked to hangout together with themim frustrated and depressed at the same time i cant hangout with my group and im not invited to any groups even though im close with them what have i done wrong to be like this it feels like i have friends and no friends simultaneouslyedit yes i cant force myself in these situations they might be longtime friends etc im mostly frustrated by the fact that some people can get invited into stuff while i not very much different than them cant i tried to do lots of stuff to earn their trust and all that came up empty im really depressed to the point that i might go mad,3.0
18027,allyhl aww what allergies has she got shes more than likely to outgrow them but its tough while shes a little un ,2.0
18028,yup my hearts gone dark i feel so sad and upset now🙏🏼 please stay strong tahyung,1.0
18029,mrsvaritek are you trying to make me jump val ,0.0
18030,eating more damn candy  and wishing that jon and derek would quit playing video games and go to bed,2.0
18031,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
18032,constantdrones well the end of school is on thursday and then we have to go back on friday for  graduation rehearsal ,2.0
18033,gotta practice for production ,2.0
18034,security took my hair gel ,2.0
18035,theres something wrong with twitter my design isnt supposed to be like this but hey its j mraz  ,0.0
18036,rt tonyposnanski donald trump has more passion for a wall than homeless american veterans americans without water in flint and american,0.0
18037,lexeelex aww lol u def do got a tan the bottom of that left foot really shows me the difference ,0.0
18038,rt notearstessa please if you have suicidal thoughts or just feeling sad please dont hesitate to dm me people might understand or relat,1.0
18039,kings crossing if you havent seen the youtube video for elliot smiths king crossing do yourself a favour i am so sad and for so long it hurts so fkn much how long do normal people not feel why cant i be like them i hate this mentally illthis shit is hard there are no guides not really burdened,3.0
18040,rt lrihendry snowflakes have a new diagnoses trump anxiety disorder caused by the mainstream medias lies  fear mongering and constan,2.0
18041,carocat oh come on   when you were  you were worried about that as well    lol,0.0
18042,ohrosie i understand but ya never know you might get loads of use out of it amp be the happiest girl in the world because you have it ,0.0
18043,this goes out to my bff rachelralphs who is stuck in atlanta all night  i hope your time goes by super fast and you can get some rest,2.0
18044,rt  this book is a must read ,1.0
18045, ditto love that ,0.0
18046,you guys gapapa sedih tapi abis itu seneng lagi yaa jangan  ya sedihnyaa the last thing they want us to be httpstcoaqdlbfadeb,0.0
18047,listen i will never ship ereri or eremika and i will take that to my grave i only ship eren with a nice day or a ,0.0
18048,i want the day to be over already mentally and phisically ill ,2.0
18049,ps loving the oth reruns ,0.0
18050,cbcebulski ha ha dont feel bad  i bought tix for my gf a couple years ago dropped a couple hundred bucks and went on the wrong day ,2.0
18051,morning folks lots to do to day so i may not be tweeting too much ,2.0
18052,its nearly  am and i am still looking for a remedy for insomnia ,2.0
18053,woona has earned a tweetgrade of f httptweetgradecomwoona but whyyyyy ,2.0
18054,xxfirstladyxx awwww im touched ,0.0
18055,i miss william ,2.0
18056,my wits end rant first off i should say that this will probably seem like random thoughts strung together with barely any kind of cohesivenessokay i am a  year old guy that has been dealing or suffering from depression and anxiety for about a decade now during this whole time i have been living with my mother since moving in one of my brothers has moved in as well im not going to go into very many details about him other than he is older than me and has three kids he gets visitation with every other week meaning the kids stay here as well oh and i will add that i absolutely despise himanyway weve been living like this the three of us plus occasionally three children for  yearsin the beginning of all of this when i first moved in with my mother i was down or sad but i didnt let it get to me as much since we moved and my brother moved in as well i have been getting down a lot more often or have anxiety attacks at random it seems some of it i know is my mind giving me reasons for such things to happen but the rest i believe is because of the family i live with i often joke about how this place is a black hole that sucks away any joy i may obtain but its really not that far from the truth every time i do actually feel good or like everything will be alright its usually because im somewhere else for an extended period of time then like always i come back home and all of that joy is sucked down into the joyless black hole of course the reasonable thing to do is for me to move out but i have not worked in three years due to my issues before that id barely work some jobs here and there but id usually quit due to the same issues that keep me from trying to work at all if i do get a job id need to save like crazy but i already know the leaches that i love with will constantly bug me for money not that im saying i shouldnt help out around the house at all but they would drain me of every penny not to mention my bad spending habits so basically what i am saying is that i need to get out of this house i do not have anywhere else to go dont have a job and i cant ever seem to get myself to even try to get one if i cant do any of this i dont know how much more i can allow myself to take any advice would be greatly appreciated and i do mean more than the standard get a job and get out stuff i hear from everyone already ,3.0
18057,sadproxzai thecreepypie its so sad but its ok i finally beat his ass,1.0
18058,courtesy of the bestie  i miss her muchono one like her,0.0
18059,nth  artym im sure that youre gonna lol big time ,0.0
18060,sad no bread wanted toast sadd jelly no bread no toast dammm ,2.0
18061,test in about an hour car got towed  needs a giant cup of coffee,2.0
18062,trying to find a nice holiday for september for a decent bloody price  not easy ,2.0
18063,kdtwtr im so jealous i want to see it its taping dont get the channel here  getting a mcds too hehe ,2.0
18064,i think its unfair i have to miss the sun  all places of work should be closed an writing essays should not be allowed when its sunny,2.0
18065,just re arranged his bookshelf ,0.0
18066,ok going to eat mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm   gosh im excited,0.0
18067,lonely bored and not tired yet ,2.0
18068,flowasone oh well its not that zi guan has swine flu god bless but fml taiwan trip is cancelled ,2.0
18069,missing my mc  alot,2.0
18070,i wish i was gay just to get into this video well done everyone very well done  httpbitlysfzrk,0.0
18071,just left work ,0.0
18072,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
18073,torida cruel  having said that i am stuck in an office anyway need to brave the chill to go get lunch though ,2.0
18074,today is the day i actually feel like i truly am home ,0.0
18075,jesshiggins heyy have a great time while im a loner at school  haha ly x,2.0
18076,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
18077,mom is acting crazy again ,2.0
18078,still here about a year ago i made a couple posts during one of my suicide attempts surprise didnt work but i have some new art decorating my armsi wish i could say that things are better or that after making it out alive i found some new overwhelming urge to change for the better and to live a full filling life jammed pack with self acceptance and joybut yeah nothe truth is i still hate myself i still hate being here the only difference is everyone else knows now so ive learned to push down the seething disgust with existence so far that on the surface i at least appear to be getting betterthe truth is im tiredthe truth is im scared this numbness is all i have left to feelthe truth is im sad that im always sadthe truth is im so alone all the time and i have no one to blame but myselfthe truth is i dont know whats real anymore or if it even mattersam i really better because i havent cut myself in a year or that i no longer do drugs just because i know people are watching who am i even better for me it sure doesnt feel like it no im better for them because they dont feel pained looking at me worrying what i might do nexti hate themi hate myself for hating themi hate myself,3.0
18079,i wrote a shitty poem not that i think anyone cares but i wanted to post it somewheresoonanother sleepless nightanother joyless daythe drive to stay and fightslowly fades awaythey say that it gets better soonbut soon is not todayso look up at that lonely moonwipe your tears and praythat maybe one say soon will comeand maybe it will stay,3.0
18080,why should i trust you i have trust issues thats why i only talk to very few people about depression and that stuff thats why i can never trust therapists thats why im asking why should i trust you because i need help i feel like im falling apart but who can i turn to the people i normally speak to are so busy in their lives i feelterrible i see stuff like this and i think its useful and relatable but i can never really trust people enough to reach out which is why im asking now please give me a reason i need something help,3.0
18081,arghhh ¬¬ it appears that i cant juggle as many aspects of my life as i need to  ,2.0
18082,rt  simply tragic amp extremely sad that hamid khazaeis death was preventable the minister has never taken responsibility f,2.0
18083,done with my first exam  two more to go,0.0
18084,go poly network ,2.0
18085,zonaljoe haha  things that wake me up make me sad ,2.0
18086,ive broken my bloody leg  hit a curb in tenby on holidays and am in total agony  watching bgt at the moment  i really enjoyed shaheed,2.0
18087,freenabella depends on my brother whether he can clears off some time for me on his busy schedule besides him no one wanna go with me ,2.0
18088,dying with some sort of ear infection  ,2.0
18089,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
18090,chardaliciouz sige ingat goodnight ,0.0
18091,low and alone im having such a rough week i thought maybe reaching out to this community under a different username might help idk we are under quarantine working from home im grateful we still have our jobs for now and that were able to maintain some semblance of normalcy i think for the most part im having a tough time not getting to see my friends like i used toi have like this hateful little voice in my head that keeps telling me that im not good enough that my artwork sucks and i think it does too but for me thats kind of the point idk my art is supposed to be a joke if you saw it maybe you would get it and that my friends and coworkers dont like me or like nothing would change for people if i was gone just seeing that sentence written out makes me realize how selfish i must be  like i want my friends and families lives to change without me there thats not fair thats super selfish i know this is a lot of rambling im just at a real low today and im very tired this is like days in a row now of this voice in my head telling me im better off gone that im not worth anyones time and that everyone might just be better off without my needy ass hitting them up all the time its exhausting why do i need other people so much im in my s i thought it was supposed to get easier by now idk im done sorry and thanks to anyone that read this,3.0
18092,why isnt anyone replying to me  i am bored please do,2.0
18093,i no longer want help i just want to cease living over the last couple of years ive tried a lot ive tried different medications psychologists therapists types of therapy inpatient stays in mental hospital  i just feel like ive tried everything i cani no longer want to be alive and im sick of being pushed to try things to get better ive been through enough and i just want out the reason im still alive is because i cant being myself to actually do it because itll devastate the few people who care about meive currently been in a mental hospital for  weeks and will likely be here for at least  more while i am monitored due to going onto a maoi antidepressant i fucking hate it here honestly its a nice place compared to most hospitals but im really really over it and just want to go home ive spent  months of the last year in here and i feel like im just a waste of resources at this pointi dont know what what the fuck to do im sick of being a burden on everyone and myself and i wish i could just disappear without hurting people but thats impossible,3.0
18094,mag react sa joke ng haha is okaymag react sa joke ng sad is still okaypero magreact ng like tangina di ka mahal ng mama mo,0.0
18095,mewnfarez im sad whats the time of the stream,2.0
18096, well im glad its you and not me  ,0.0
18097,happy birthday nasher  only  and look at himwow amp islesrebelangel was right your teams are the only boys you can trust ,0.0
18098,is trying to get rid of this head pain ,2.0
18099,sounds like a stupid thing to get upset over you know those instagram story bingo things that are like tag  friends at the end yeah someone in my friend group did it tagged  other people from said circle and said i dont know who else to tagim missing we only have  friends total in the circleguess im always last choice huh i know the thing said  but its all the more proof that i dont belong ive fucked up all my true friendships and didnt try hard enough to repair them so im stuck in a group im invisible in i guess,3.0
18100,lisisilveira   i sent my donation to eric and wanted to put the banner on but my avatar disappeared when i tried  ,2.0
18101,andybeard lol ,0.0
18102,under pressure to get these feckin essays done by thurs arghhh ,2.0
18103,ertie hmpf im gonna be emo now like markcastro  haha yeah iz a guuhhrreat movie u should see the premovie too jason  natalie p,2.0
18104,it might be my rotten day i think so ,2.0
18105,writelovex hicee todo i no se pudoo    no se pueden bajar fotos   c u tomorroww  physics  painful  death iloveyou tween,2.0
18106, therealjaymills  i wish there were more indie stores out there to support  joints is jive scarce these days  ,2.0
18107,ugh sore throatwhere did this come from and its still raining ,2.0
18108,i am sorry to bring anyone down but ive had depression my whole life so im used to highs and lows i know things always do get better but i cant seem to pull out of it lately i take medication i have been taking good care of myself as far as exercising and sleep etc which usually will prevent or at least pull me out of an episode but no luck yet this time i am not planning to do anything bad or anything but to put it very simply sometimes i want to kill myself i know its wrong and ungrateful and pathetic i dont need a lecture i just dont want to feel so alone because i hide it all the time and i dont have any friends i can talk to just acquaintances does anyone else with depression ever feel this way too ,3.0
18109, tweet what you want  its your twitter and if ppl get upset they always have the option to unfollow you just sayin ,0.0
18110,accepting needing medication again after years off of it vent ive  always hated that my body was incapable of keeping me balanced and happy when i was  i was on zoloft for a few months and it help the side effects were a lot to deal with though sleep paralysis appetite etc what helped is i picked up a few hobbies that i never had the motivation to keep up with otherwise when i stopped taking it over time i kept up with them for years and stayed okay id have episodes every now and then but i was generally okay this past year has been the best year of my life i moved in with my soulmate i have the happiest and healthiest relationship you could imagine i laugh often and he never fails to make me smile but the last few months i had to quit my job because my boss was a homophobic racist asshole and it made my anxiety which had been next to none escalate to insane levels of panic attacks to the point of throwing up now im struggling finding a new job my best friend is moving  miles away my nightmares are back my anxiety is worse than its ever been and my depression has reach new levelsi refer to my depression episodes as being a passenger im not actually in my body as much as im just watching someone else live in my vessel ive sat in our room without moving or engaging in anything for hours at a time i cant find the motivation to shower or eat or take part in any of my hobbies or interactions with my friends im constantly breaking down into fits of profusely crying and feeling like i have someone sitting on my chest ive spoken with my boyfriend and my parents weve all agreed it would be best to go back on them and try prozac and once i made the decision which im fine with my mind immediately sent me into a panic attack ive been on edge jumping at loud noises not sleeping and living as a passenger for two weeks now im terrified im absolutely terrified ill be trapped as a passenger this half alive person and now me that it will numb me and keep me as a passenger just not feeling anything i dont know where else to post and dont want to worry anyone im not suicidal but god im so scared and dont want to live like this anymore i have to accept that i do have manic depressive episodes and need this medication but i wish i didnt need it to be human i want to be human on my own i want to be strong and conquer this on my own and no matter how hard i try i cant thanks for letting me vent and thank you for caring if you made it this far tldr vent i was doing so well off of my medicine for   years now its worse than ever and i have to get back on them and im not scared ill just be lifeless and numb ,3.0
18111,yo peeps keep on requesting ds songs on the radio went out of mwc ,2.0
18112,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
18113, first off  happy new year if youre happy i wish you nuture it and grow with it and it stays with you foreversecondly thanks for reading this and hopefully it hasnt been removed lol so yeah last to last ie  i was probably at an all time low my brain felt idk damaged in a way and i flunked the most important exam funny thing tho i was constantly making jokes and laughing which was super annoying because i said and did soooo many fking bs things i wanted to punch myself like i literally became the irl rnotlikeothergirls and dumbed myself and it caught on and now i cant even read properly  that was the beginning  god oh god  im so privileged and lucky but for the life of me i cant stop thinking about the past sometimes ill be doing something like sitting down or lying on the bed overthinking  and ill be out of breath just trouble breathing for no reason disgusted by myself  sorry if this sounds fake im starting to suspect my depression is only for attention but ive done the whole dont share your vulnerability it makes you weak for so long  i feel like i am my worst nightmare this is me being honest i guess i wish i werent here but i am and i will have to come to terms with that,3.0
18114,started work at  on a saturday boooo ,2.0
18115,how psychedelics transformed my life hello there reddit some days ago i shared a deeply sensitive and personal story of a long battle with depression and how psychedelic substances have helped me win the battle my personal circle took it really well to them and several people with depression reached out to me so i hope you may find some value in it too,3.0
18116,does anyone else hate when people say im here for you ive been suffering with depression as long as i can remember but it really started to kick in a bunch in the last  months ive gone to self harming often have suicidal thoughts and wish to act upon them and have tried to commit suicide twice but what really annoys me and hurts me is when people say im here for you because they never actually are the people that have said this to me go anywhere from family to friends to strangers the reason i find this saying so hurtful is because everyone that has ever said this hasnt been there for me when i actually need it they say im here for you but when i try to hit them up to just go talk somewhere or just talk on the phone im rejected and am not given a second chance i only really have three good friends and these three are a bit more reliable but still hurt me in this way it just really pisses me off when im having thoughts of hurting or killing myself and my friends and family wont even talk with me it sucks and i just really wanted to get this off my chest i know that people can be busy with their lives and i dont want to sound selfish about this i dont want to take them away from important things in their life like their education or time with others i just find it so hurtful for people to say im here for you when they cant keep that saying in the future when its most needed when they cant just take five minutes of their time to talk on the phone or an hour to go on a walk or get coffee,3.0
18117,rt oraltwjnk depression ,1.0
18118,now i just need to figure out how to use it ugh i feel the oldness creeping ,2.0
18119,knows about the iranian thing and yes it upsets her but her phone freaking out upsets her too sorry if you think she was being mean ,2.0
18120,rt gertsroyals telegraphnews headstogether i would love too see royals focus some on mental health in the elderly they deal wi ,0.0
18121,hubby just called  found out he has to work a  hour shift on sunday  happy fathers day  working on plan b,2.0
18122,so when my fone was stolen a couple wks ago they also stole my favorite aviator shades  thats the  time ive repurchased it too ,2.0
18123,tonight i got a phone call that ruined my day i havent spoken to my mother since last july because she refuses to clean her house  she is a hoarder tonight i received a call from my middle son telling me she was on her way homehe lives in arizona she lives in montana i guess she went down to visit after flying out of my town an hour away from her city of residence but her flight back here was cancelled or something so now shes flying into another town altogether staying the night renting a car and driving up here to get her car at the airportwhile she was in arizona she had a little fender bender according to my son he was concerned about her driving back homemom became a hoarder after my brother died  years ago i have shared resources with her and helped her get therapy but she wont clean her house she is a grown adult woman who can take care of herself apparently i am unable to deal with the hoarding due to mental and physical health issues the depression and selfloathing i deal with daily is extra bad tonight and i wish i had not heard from arizona this has fucked up my whole night and i want to walk in front of a bus or a train i wont but fuuuuuucktldr fuck depression anxiety and bpd they have ruined my life and my ability to have interpersonal relationships,3.0
18124,fuck feelings why did i ever let myself get attached to people only to get devastated when they stopped giving a shit ive rendered myself dysfunctional holding out for the one person who would pull me out of this bullshit but ive recently realized that im the only one who can help myself but im too worthless to deserve legitimate care i have high expectations of myself but i still despise myself and dont care how much i hurt myself still hurts less than pain from others so from now on no more feelings ive no choice but to be numb push through all these dumbass tears and be completely ruthless towards myself this is what i need to get through the foreseeable future and by the time i finally break down again it wont matter to anyone why was i so naive and think there was a better way out this is the only way out unfortunately the old me is dead the new me is a cold unfeeling bitch and if anyone cant deal with it i cant deal with them ,3.0
18125,i am planning on killing myself on christmas i am bushed i am not capable of keep living anymore no one really seems to care about me and i cant even make them care about me if they dont want to care its up to them i have failed  universities already and i doubt that i will even have any job home and a family of my own i am being told that i am kind funny and all that jazz but i have never believed that my depression has beaten me up and i have been fighting with that demon every day for  years i am calling it quits i probably will hang myself while my parents are sleeping or so i am not hopeful anymore not even a little bit i dont care about dropped tears after i am gone too i fully believe that everyone is going to keep their daily lives my absence wont affect anyone andor anything i have no value i have no friends i have no beloved one i thought that i should clarify that i am an pessimistic nihilist so i always see the bad in life theres no good for me in this life and there never have been any good either things are going shittier for me each day and i dont want to see whats happening on this planet anymore thats why i am going to end my life its like living with a breathing unit my life hasnt honestly been a bed of roses i didnt live this life as i have always wanted and i know it wont ever be as ive always wanted to be i believed since the beginning of my life that i never ever deserved to live i never was destined to be happy all i did was being a reason to being avoided for people its time to plug this breathing unit off for me its nothing more than a torture for me to live like that so maybe i would make people a favour and make them happy by disappearing why not if i am only a view pollution why would i keep living and so you guys on reddit will finally be happy about my absence too i am a person that people hate me even they dont know me ,3.0
18126,linqered sad,2.0
18127,i realize that i am sliding when  all the youtube ads im getting are selfhelp audio booksand it made me laugh ,3.0
18128,does your therapist offer advice therapy has been nice but it still merely feels like somebody listening to me talk my therapist is great in the sense he actively listens to me i knew thats what therapy essentially is but i was still expecting some sort of external psychoanalysis and straight up advice i know a key part of getting better is feeling empowered to do so on your own accord but it would be nice to hear something like x is probably what this stems from i would consider y to work through itits nice spilling my guts to somebody trained to listen but i dont see how it will ultimately fix anythingwhat occurs in your therapy sessions,3.0
18129,viennaustria i want to ad adsense but dont know where and in which parts ,2.0
18130,tempsec it was kind of stormyish here at lunch and now its gloriousseveral hours of photoshopping ahead of me ,2.0
18131,is looking forward to day  of accc conference and day  in charlottetown pei ,0.0
18132,allynrawr roflmao ,0.0
18133,i feel lost despite having a good life and alone despite having many people around me i am not contemplating suicide  i think about it a lot but i have decided it can never be an option for mewith that said i feel utterly lost i have strong emotional reactions and then will feel nothing for days except apathy and hatred toward myself last month or so ive exercised hydrated eaten nothing but healthy foods and vitamin supplements  it has made me feel better physically but not emotionallyi have a disorder that makes me somewhat slow but im able to drive and work a full time job it has made me quirky  the disorder has caused me to act utterly incompetent in a lot of instances throughout my entire lifei feel like my wife settled for me like my family will be upset if i die but doesnt care about whats going through my head and like my disorder is going to cause me to screw up big time some day  whether i freak out at work or cause a car accident or something elseto kill myself would hurt people  i cant do that but i wish i were never bornjust had to get this off my chest whenever i talk to my wife or family i feel so burdensome  i feel i have chased several friends away by being so utterly boring slow and quirky and then venting about my issues so i often anonymously rant onlinemy favorite pastime has become bourbon waking up is hard ,3.0
18134,going to the cinema with karlijn amp stephanie  again ,0.0
18135,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
18136,dxbluey thats technology always costs more for leading tech but wait a few years amp you get it cheaper with the rest of the crowd ,0.0
18137,why why why why why ive been okay for the past week better than the past couple months have been school starts up again today in a few hours tonight it hurts so damn bad it has been for months on end as soon as this small break ends it goes from bearable to absolute torture i can barely cope with it  its like you feel as though youve escaped and just as things start getting brighter the whole world goes to shiti really cant begin to imagine how those whove been suffering for years even decades sleep at night thank you for reading it makes me feel better knowing that im not alone in this cruel hell,3.0
18138,theebox omgosh i just had a brainstorm hehe you could do a ouran high school host club tv show review  idk httpbitlyouraneps,0.0
18139,edblankenship my credit card you were the one who kept throwing yours behind the bar ,0.0
18140, hello everyone i got this app just now specifically to join this thread ive had depression for years now its got better and worse throughout the years like most i was in a really good place and a good headspace and was getting more joy out of life and the things that i use to love and lost passion for were coming back i was diagnosed many years ago and was on medication until i stopped taking it about a year and a half ago recently my life spiraled out of control and went completely down hill at the end of october my aunt passed away very suddenly my family is one who has always stuck very close to each other so this hurt everyone in my family especially me my grandparents and my mother as i was going through that grieving process and things were starting to normalize again we found out my grandma was sick just last month she had stage  lung cancer and within  days of being diagnosed she was gone there were little to no signs of her being this sick until the day she went into the hospital so this was the biggest shock my grandmother was my best friend we did almost everything together i talked to her multiple times through out the week and we always had our friday lunch dates together the pain from her being gone is almost unbearable i miss her more than anything and i pray everyday that this is some sick joke and shell call me up to ask if im hungry or to walk through the door telling me about what she did that day i miss her so much it physically hurts im not good at understanding that someone is actually gone and i still have a hard time wrapping this around my head i know im grieving but i also know my depression is coming back i know from my past experiences and on top of all this my best friend met a new girl and completely dropped me and doesnt even talk to me anymore for absolutely no reason this is the least of my problems right now but it definitely doesnt help i feel so alone idk what im trying to accomplish by writing this but it feels good to get it out im lonely i have no one to talk to or no one to go to i have very vivid sducidal thoughts but im not suicidal if that makes any since i wouldnt dare put my grandpa mom and dad through any more pain and trauma than they already have been these last  months if you got this far reading this thank you thank you for listing feel free to reply to my post and we can talk ,3.0
18141,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
18142,kennyprov watch more porn ,0.0
18143,support for depression in a college setting survey hello im not sure if this counts as activism but if it does please let me know i dont want to offend anyoneim working with a graduate research team  to understand the symptoms of depression and design solutions to help provide support to those suffering from depression especially in a college setting you dont have to currently be in college but if you suffered from depression while you were in college whether you were diagnosed or not we would be grateful to hear your story if you have the time can you please complete the following short survey thank you,3.0
18144,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
18145,lights went out  fml,2.0
18146,just want to disappear does anyone else ever feel like just disappear like you know very few people will miss you and even the ones who do care will just forget about you very quick i just wish i could disappear,3.0
18147,ending what would have to be the most boring bday ever spent it doing an essay ,2.0
18148,am i depressed suicuidal or this year is changing for me my selfesteem is low i literally cry knowing i dont have friends i wish i could be like everyone else friends laughing together etc my best friend who i thought she meant the world to me online said she was going to go somewhere but i saw her online on another amino a app i feel like i was bornto live like this even though im catholic i feel like im changing around my mom and im acting manipulative or rude around her and i dont like this even my mom has changed its hard for me to express what im going through but its complete hell for me crying in my bed im having thoughts like sleeping forever or killing myself and im scared that im not fearing these because i used to have high anxiety just thinking about those thoughts i dont know if im being manipulative or actually depressed my selfesteem is low and my brain tells me i have to be like everyone else to be happy if i dont make my friend laugh or im not able to cheer them up then im a bad friend i have a million problems and i wish i could talk to someone i have a therapist but i only talk to him about social problems and only that because those are the things my mom wants to me to talk about im scared to tell my mom about these things because either shell call my manipulative or be panicked and scared ,3.0
18149,call me stupid or something call me a dick but it makes me feel so empty when nobody pays attention to my posts its like nobody really cares it hurts so much knowing that the only place i can get validation and empathy just cant give me that,3.0
18150,so desperate  to get a new job i am so over this shit and anxiety,2.0
18151,saw the hangover this weekend is it me or is bradley cooper quite the hottie ,0.0
18152,almost got run over by a lady with a walker and cell phone watch out ,0.0
18153,spent a lovely day in country looking for a bush property now need some good sleep for the mountain bike race tomorrow woohoo ,0.0
18154,chloevincent thats the onscreamy im leaving out stuff like metallica deliberately lol ,0.0
18155,theruel take me with you at least for some parts ,0.0
18156,ugh nearly   chelsea gonna get battered by everton   hopefully lol,2.0
18157,yahoo pipes is not playing nice with twitter rss feeds today getting  bad requestquot errors dont know why ,2.0
18158,mabetini  sorry to hear that mabes hugs praying for you,2.0
18159,ahhhh teeeeeth are in pain ,2.0
18160,im watching a movie with my madreeeee and ohhh chet its so sad im crying lol bleh i feel a little better had to get a shot ,2.0
18161,jonaskevin hey have you ever thought about doing  concert in manchester xd since all good seats are taken for  of november ,2.0
18162,cindybrock open in qt player pro or imovie and trim excess from the first slide not a fix but a workaround ,0.0
18163,mshenrick try your usal passwords after  goes you should have it ,0.0
18164,omg im sitting next too a really hot guy ,0.0
18165,and still silent toothless anxiety,2.0
18166,mrbenzedrine ooo i love the were so miserable and stunning thats genius i think it really fits for the whole style of my brand ,0.0
18167,at sweet  home  im so tired but so happy ,0.0
18168,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
18169,on skype with my viking homeboy from copenhagengetting tired ,2.0
18170,cashen har tagits i helgen ,2.0
18171,its a little sad to see that its always very active here but also pretty happy to see everyone supporting each other,3.0
18172,pocarles go and cnn and check the news about the airplane crash  twitter is not quiet in france,2.0
18173,head and throat feel funny hope im not gettig sick missin uci so much right now homes been so painfully boring and unfulfilling ,2.0
18174,colcoomagnumar im good thanks cant wait til friday  pleased youre loving the new place well chuffed for you xxx,0.0
18175,oh my a friend informed me that the major fastfood brands have made their way to san sebastian i cant express how sad that is sigh ,2.0
18176,college hmm i think so ,0.0
18177,feeling really down in the dumps ,2.0
18178,im listening to music ,0.0
18179, you should get twitter on your phone  much better ,0.0
18180,very bad week my depression hit an all time low this past week i got banned from a sexual assault support group bc the leader made a joke about me and my very public and traumatizing case and i called her out for it and she said i was disrespectful for telling her the joke was rde this guy i was seeing came to visit me in nyc and then said some super shitty stuff about how he doesnt think hes attracted to me and then broke up with me the next morning after i suggested i come visit him  which again he flew here to see me after very little time talking theres so much more to this one but i dont really have the emotional energy to summarize it all  i had to go beg to be put on trazadone and clonazepam at the psychiatrist and he accused me of being addicted to rx meds and ive literally not taken those in years its the only stuff that helps me with sleep and ive been averaging  hours of sleep a night he also accused me of lying about saying that i dont do hard drugs or take pills  and then  the meds are causing me to be extra sleepy all day which on one hand is good bc i can sleep but on the other hand im now sleeping like  hrs a day and missed all my classes but i have ptsd and horrible nightmares so even though im well rested im living most of my day in constant flashbacks and hellscapes i havent left my apartment other than to walk my dog since monday i just took a bath today i havent spoken to another human face to face in three days and my roommate is out of town it also feels like my dog doesnt like me which is irrational i know idk yall ive never felt this bad before and ive been dealing with depression for about  years now ,3.0
18181,happy birthday barbarexx ♥ love u sooo muchh gurrrll see you todayyy  to see the  w youu yaayy jajaja,0.0
18182,feblub you should listen to andrew bird too if you dont yet not really related but his albums are just wonderful  re doves,0.0
18183,jdecar ciaoobelllaxo coming from a person who just hides behind a screen its sad that you obviously made an ac ,1.0
18184,i want to die sometimes but sometimes i dont im so depressed created a throwaway for this postive been battling depression on and off for the last  years im at a point now where the depression is the worst it has ever been and i just dont know what to do i understand to some extent that my brain chemicals are unbalanced which is causing my depression which is why ive recently jumped back on the medication it has helped my mood so far but im still getting the intrusive thoughts of wanting to jump off a building drive my car off a cliff or overdosei have been seeing a psychologist my second one as of late and i dont feel any progress from my visits they ask if i have any trauma in my life which i dont really just that i have been battling heroin addiction on and off the psychologists just recommend going to rehab getting exercise joining social clubs things that i feel are not going to help right now its not that im fighting their advice its just that i have little motivation to get out more and in terms of rehab im currently on a low and stabilising dosage of suboxone not technically clean but not currently a junkie eitherif i truly delve into some of the things that are making me depressed is that i dont know what to do with my life i worked in it support and worked my way up from a junior to system administrator in my last position which i then quit last november because my depression was starting to affect the people around me at work i was completely unapproachable and unsociablethe other thing though is that when i was younger but an adult i got myself a criminal record this record affects what type of job i can do and even in it where i can workalthough career is what is on my mind its obviously not what is causing my depression because i had a job that paid me well doing what im naturally good at yet i was still unsatisfied with life i often came to work moody and shifted crowds like moses parted the seai also have a girlfriend i am surprised she has stayed with me this long though i can tell she is a her wits end her patience is really tested with me and we can get into some awful fights majority of the time is caused by my faults i really feel for her and i know i take frustrations out on her unfairly sometimes i try to talk to her openly about my depression but i feel her understanding of my situation is lacking not by any fault of her own i think people who hasnt experience depressions have a difficult time understanding that you cant just pick yourself up or cheer up with sheer willpowerlast year she suggested we travel abroad to get my mind off of things we went to japan which i thoroughly enjoyed i was probably the most happy and genuinely smiling the first time in years despite the joy i could still feel the lingering depression lurking beneath and intruding my thoughts during my quiet moments moments when i am alone with my thoughtsnot sure what else to say some days i feel more suicidal than others some days im crippled by the depression and lay in bed all day i ignore calls from friends who call less and less now i feel like im needing to put more effort into my interactions with others including my gf my gf knows i can be moodyunhappy but i try to keep things light as much as possible when were togetherim running out of ideas on how to control this depression as to not affect my daytoday life so much and how to stop myself from thinking of suicide at my weakest moments any advice would be appreciated,3.0
18185,sitting in a shadow of the tree in the heart of the city listening to panicwaiting for the bus  thankswindfor being so pleasant a ,0.0
18186,i think my anger and mental instability is back and im scared for those around me when i was a kid i was very badly behaved adding extreme emotional trauma and depression created a mix for me to develop anger issues ive said and done things i am extremely shameful for and to this day much of my family has that image of me and its soured many relationships i couldve had with my mother and siblings and i hate myself for it i am now in my early  and feel like i am going through a similar episode of depression and mental instabilities where i feel myself angry and lacking control thankfully as of now my lashing out has been either with my words or physical harm towards myself and no one else i am scared though really scared my mother is ranting to other members of the family about my lashing out and i am incredibly sorry for what i put her through but i dont know how to stop i have a girlfriend now i havent seen her for over a month now im scared for everyone ive locked myself in my room to not risk anymore im tired of hurting people ive done nothing but spread toxicity to everyone closest to me im a horrible person,3.0
18187,empty im  and in a few months will be graduating from college for the past  years or so ive had pretty bad depression particularly bad since ive been in college  suicidal self harm alcohol abuse etc some of the time i can pretend that im okay but other times  times like now  i cant hide how terrible i actually feel i dont care about my future  the thought thinking beyond the immediate present is exhausting to me i feel so tired and empty ive never really admitted this to anyone not any of the therapists ive cycled through but i dont think ive ever really thought that i would live long enough to graduate never thought id live this long now that its coming i have no idea what to do so i guess im just going to post this and hope that knowing someone else is reading my words how i feel however brief and inadequate this post actually is will make me feel at least a little better,3.0
18188,muffin fell asleep during the moviewhat an ass ,2.0
18189,i got fired today so i suffer with several different mental health problems and have ups and downs things started when i was about  im  now and my depression seems to have always been steadily getting worse no matter what help ive had and even though some great things have happened to me in the last few years i got married last year and yet i still dont think i know how to be happysince christmas ive really been taking a downhill turn and work seems to have been the main cause of that i use to love my job and have been there for over two years so im not sure what happened my boss is aware of my mental health and theyve always been quite supportive but theres only so much they can do for me anyway lately ive been doing less and less work and they started letting me work from home to try and combat this but it actually made things worse and i just got more and more isolated and felt like i couldnt ask for help when i felt there was too much work to do i started getting really behind on my work and it just became a cycle  the more behind i got the worse i felt and the less i wanted to do any work i ended up working about half my contracted hours a week and stopped going into the office altogether last week things got really bad and  days ago i did half a days work before breaking down and just feeling like i couldnt do anymore i emailed my boss and she came up with an action plan of how i could get on top of things and i followed it for a day then i got ill i tend to get sick when im going through a low patch so i took a day off to recover and i just couldnt motivate myself to get back to work after that i spent  days mostly in bed i havent done any work for just over a week now and didnt contact anyone in the office to let them know what was going on i was scared to talk to anyone about it because i didnt think theyd understand and i had already had a warning for not working my contracted hours and for taking time off over christmas without sorting cover for my role this morning i woke up to a text saying they have remotely disabled my work laptop and have removed all my access to everything and ended my contract they say its due to the fact i have not done any work or had any contact with them for a week i cant argue with their decision its fair and theres only so much they can let me get away with for my mental health and they have given me a lot of slack up until now they need someone in the role who is able to cope with the stress its partly a relief at least i dont have to stress about the job anymore i had started to hate it at least i dont have to panic about getting back to work and the back log ill have to catch up on but i also feel so guilty i let them down and ive let myself down i could have prevented this by just doing the work by talking to them and asking for help sooner or i could have got a new job months ago when i started feeling unhappy there ive caused the company problems and have put more pressure on others also im terrified where do i go from here i need a new job asap because i have bills to pay i hate the idea of starting somewhere new meeting new people and having to learn all about a new job also how do i get another job after getting fired how do i go about getting references how do i explain it to potential employers what do i do about money in the meantime i have so many mixed emotions right now im so confused its an endless cycle i know my depression caused my problems with work but now this is making my depression worse i feel lost and dont know where to goim sorry for such a long post and thank you if you managed to stick with me until the end thanks everyone ,3.0
18190,will be hitting the charity shops to find me some old school gear for glasto ,0.0
18191,doctor recommends exercise to recover from depression but i am so tired i barely make it to the shower i sleep  hours or more and i can only go from bed to sofa once up anybody experiences the same what did you do to feel better also i am worried that i might actually have something physical some lack of vitamins or even worse an infection i always have ear pain but since my doctor knows i suffer from depression he doesnt pay attention and just says its all depression related its very frustrating 😕,3.0
18192,rlochry guess u wont be needing that itouch then ,2.0
18193,forgot my camera battery   lots of sights today,2.0
18194,burbleon i wud love to continue this but my mind is completly blank ,2.0
18195,waiting in today for my passport to arrive i cant wait  crete here i come  but dodgy tanlines from the garden will not be a good look,0.0
18196,tiphtiph odin would give you a whole elk cupcakes are the childs play of the christian god  hail odin,0.0
18197,is slowly gettin more followers  vry slowly,0.0
18198,is off to word no updates today tweeps as i have no phone ,2.0
18199,binge eating cookies at  not a good day ,2.0
18200,playing the game of life ,0.0
18201,i think i need help i am sort of selfdiagnosing here but i think i have depression ive taken stupid online tests and they said i was depressed but those are free tests online im  and i used to go to therapy when i think i was  or  it got a lot better but recently its gotten a lot worst and i dont think its just teen angst but i really dont know,3.0
18202,i love my boogah can anyone contain lebron james  talk about so sick ,0.0
18203,oliviamunn really bing has promise maybe after the other failed search engines they got something right ,0.0
18204,is at church battling this cold ,2.0
18205,tikkamadsen you too  take care ,0.0
18206,home  i have go work in  hours so im gonna relax before cleaning a bit,0.0
18207,kalebnation ups i was seeing a recored blog ,2.0
18208,ctns i am ,2.0
18209,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,2.0
18210,i couldnt get approval for shit mom and i had no idea how the college financial scene worked between lack of reso ,1.0
18211,rats cant get chrome to work w win  beta suggested fixes dont work ,2.0
18212,feeling ever sadder that there is no video recorder for the   and it seems like there may never be ,2.0
18213,rt workinhardmummy thinking ab starting a mental health column is that fun what kind of issues would u want covered  what questions wu,0.0
18214, got some sun after work been relaxing in the garden with a few beers but have now run out ,2.0
18215,apparently i dont have enough bandwidth to watch apprentice on iplayer ill be signing off twitter and everything until i see it then ,2.0
18216,labanaktis visiems  goodnight everyone  hey should i teach people lithuanian   anyway night night x,0.0
18217,what is depression i was wondering if depression can actually be caused by something i just failed out of my school because i got an f in bio and ever sense i figured out i just feel out of it and sad and i dont even care anymore these are people over been going to school with for  years and i just feel so bad im not saying this for clout or something i am just wondering ,3.0
18218,have you started your year this way too who else got really drunk last night and is now laying in bed wit the taste of vomit on your mouth and isnt planning to get out of iti feel worthless im never going to accomplish anything i dont see a future for me i dont see me being happy plus i havent showered in so long and i fucking stink i feel so gross,3.0
18219,feel like im never good enough i got drunk tonight made me feel tense and in a panic always feel like im never good enough to amount to shit i just wanted to have fun but i cant help but always think about how i dont have connections with people and im different and weird i have physical health problems that complicate my life so much that i cant do anything about at the end of the day i just want someone real to talk to who cares like when i was dating this girl its been two years since ive even been on a date im really trying to get my life together and i just got my own place but it feels so far away to get to my goals and possibly never gonna happen to feel a connection with someone againjust feels sad and i have this girl i ran into once at work and once at the grocery and i caught her name and feel like a creep for even thinking about adding her when i brought it up to my friends they had no advice to give me,3.0
18220,experiencing an episode and sharing it a little backstory i was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder when i was  and im not on any pills anymore so for a while ive been wanting to share whats on my mind whenever im having an episode or getting over one and i think this might be a good place for that i actually hate talking about it to my friends because they dont really understand it ive dubbed them straight arrows while i feel im an arrow that struggles to hit the markanyway i had been good for a while and i knew the sun wasnt going to be out forever but this last episode hit me hard my mind kept pulling me towards thoughts and fantasies of suicide and everything surrounding it basically me just breaking myself down it wasnt so much a voice in my head but more like being pulled away by a stream of thoughts by now ive learned that the voice isnt real unless i indulge it but it is a constant pull until you sometimes just submit to it i can understand why people actually do it in the end and thats not an easy thing to admit when im writing this im still not really out of it and i know whats ahead of me after every episode i always feel like i have to build myself up again because i basically put my life on hold for the most part it gets really frustrating having to deal with this one part of me that actually wants me to succeed and chase my desires and then this other part that would throw it away and let it all rot if anyone actually reads this feel free to share your experience i feel like it might help me if i know people relate,3.0
18221,dads leaving for china in an hour hello knock offs ,0.0
18222,rashmid err what would a mahabharata advice be tell me i am quite ignorant when it comes to science fiction ,2.0
18223,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
18224,jiajia got a new name jiajiatina   httptweetsg,0.0
18225,daaku yeah i realise that  followfriday,2.0
18226,about to get some coffee  and head home than drive for  hours to my other home ,0.0
18227,rt shaikhlalsakal मी देखील आरक्षणाच्या लढाईतील शिपाई मराठा तरुणाची आत्महत्याबीड,1.0
18228,tonyajoy ahh just got the chills so excited for you beware big love affair right around the corner ,0.0
18229,good morning twitterversecleaning up is the call for sunday morning  i am upto it after a coffee ,0.0
18230,hello ingridsagmon  sorry if i replied too late haha im from laguna ,0.0
18231,genuinely hate new years just like last year i can self reflect on all my mistakes and be a miserable mess im just gonna cry and remember bs i want to forget,3.0
18232,onlinecatboy can someone please come to my house and assist my unwarranted suicide so i can be on tv,1.0
18233,my life honestly isnt that bad im doing pretty well for myself and im in the early stages of a good relationship and yet oh god do i just wish this would all end im so tired ive been fighting depression for so long now i have had a few really bad depressive episodes but ive always managed to pull myself out the small part of me that doesnt fully hate myself is a definite fighter hell i even actively try i take meds and i see a psychiatrist but like fuck this shit is tiring im tired always trying to fight yourself and not listen to that voice in your head and it sucks when i give in to the darkness because it feels so good to wallow in self hate and distraction its like im constantly treading water and sometimes itll feel like im drowning for a bit and like im not even mad at anyone anymore therapy helped me process those feelings but like i have no idea where this hatred i feel of myself comes from im only  if i have to fight these demons for the rest of my life ill be fucking pissed  can the world just be over already,3.0
18234,zifmstereo teekayzim chrissgreyzw marcpoz i went with my infant daughter at around  and waited for about ,2.0
18235,i made a dedication for karolka from my class   i love you,0.0
18236,i need to make a new myspace  i deleted the other cause i was tired of it now i miss is ,2.0
18237,woohoo i finally finished my rubiks cube i am so smart i am so smart smrt ehmm i mean smart ,0.0
18238,rt moongiitter im not working or going to school im just being a pathetic nothing with too much anxiety,1.0
18239,sitting in class waiting for my microecon class to start cleaning up the code snippets on my modx tuts using syntax highlighter plugin ,0.0
18240,rt neverknownfacts sleeping next to someone you love not only reduces depression but it helps you live longer and makes you fall asleep,1.0
18241,dm im seeing quotso you think you can dancequot viewing nights in the future  btw  have fun in seattle  wish i were there ,2.0
18242,back in honolulu i love the smell of fresh leis  fb,0.0
18243,my anxiety is going to be the death of me during this pandemic working a demanding job from home for the first time ever is taking a bigger toll than i expected im crying and working ridiculous hours daily i hate to leave a job so suddenly but ive never felt so compelled to quit i felt like this after week  week  was a lot but not our of the normal load of workbut week  really fucked me over  sundays are the worst—i get the most anxious then i want to just quit but i also dont have the financial ability to stop working ive been looking for other type of work even parttime bagging groceries its taking a step back in my career but its only to help my mental stabilitywhile risking potentially contacting  i hate that i feel this way too because i know a lot of people dont have jobs right now because of the pandemic however working in these conditions is a blessing and a curse i wasnt ready to bring the stress of working to my house i dont even have a proper work space i move from room to room through out the day im living with my family atm  im mentally drained and my brain is tired i cant wait for the  quarantine to be over so i can go back to the normal amount of depression and anxiety i have,3.0
18244,my spine is a twisted heap of pain ,2.0
18245,illinoispam hyvee had knudsens but not the lemon ginger    bought lemon juice and tube of ginger to make my own tea,2.0
18246,learning how my parents felt when they told me not  do something  adler just had to run  pool of course slipped fell and bonked head ,2.0
18247,aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh so tired ,2.0
18248,ladygaga thanks for following me  when youre not writingperforming what is your favourite past time,0.0
18249,dannyisorgasmic mannie tapdancing haha i must watch that  xx,0.0
18250,the winds out here will blow some mothers church hat amp wig off lolsheeeeeet im at a risk of getting blown away im only  ,0.0
18251,last thing im sure there was a better way to handle this thats really all im saying sorry to both sides but glad we got a sneak peak ,0.0
18252, lol my friends birthday we celebrated out in ny so she got bottles as gifts and had bottle service at the club ,0.0
18253,im in the mood to go quad biking i miss my brothers ,2.0
18254, leaving la  in los angeles ca ,2.0
18255,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
18256,rt pompipal addendum so i didnt realize there were musical termsconcepts related to pythagoras please let me redeem iori and inclu,0.0
18257,jsmithready i certainly miss my kittys when i am away have a good night ,0.0
18258, i think hed approve of globals theyre japanese so apt for sushimaking on the expensive side and oh so shiny ,0.0
18259,truffle stop teasing us ,2.0
18260,might just wear a bin bag ,0.0
18261,i cant i have no reason to be depressed my parents dont hit me ive never been bullied and i havent experienced anything traumatic but here i am im just so done with everything i feel trapped with no way out my grades are slipping because i just dont have the energy to care and every interaction with my parents is them yelling at me for doing dumb things i just want to curl up into a ball and sleep for the rest of my life but its not like i can end it all like i wish i could im just a horrible human who doesnt have a future ahead of him if i wasnt born then my parents problems would disappear im sorry,3.0
18262,keleigh im good friends with gina that you used to work with in oldsmar thought i would say hello ,0.0
18263,fuck its arriving a stormbye bye beach ,2.0
18264,hailmaryjane me no weed though ,2.0
18265,bloodnoir i fancy a beef szechuan with bolied rice yummy hmmtoo late to order now tho ,2.0
18266,lopsidedmom  thats awful my heart goes out to her family ,2.0
18267,i love fridays  just a shame im on call over the bank holiday weekend,0.0
18268,im removing people from my follow list theyre just spamming and its very very annoying ,2.0
18269,neeeeeeeds sleep  but wants to make up flat packs too,2.0
18270,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
18271,well alright i feel like if i stay any longer then youll fade away from the lack or little mana you have left ,1.0
18272,im in pain ,2.0
18273,awesome job tonight marco  l,0.0
18274,ow ow ow ive had a headache for the past  hours and it keeps getting worse i think my head is going to explode ,2.0
18275,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
18276,im the worst human in the world i am greg i go to one of the best schools in the world and have incredible parentsbut theres one problem in my lifemei am the worst person in the universe people say that theres more good than bad in everyone and in that case im not human im not good at anything im a huge nerd but even though i play video games nearly all day im super shit at them i spend my time at school watching people have fun while i use my phone and be an antisocial fuck if i would be in a wheelchair the only thing in my life that would change would be me needing help to take a shit im a coward im scared in the dark despite my age and i have zero charisma and even when im not super boring im incredibly annoying,3.0
18277,im only cause problems i feel like im the source for troubles to those around me i just continue to disappoint my parents and hold back my girlfriend i dont know if i have a future i feel so useless and that i only bring down others i dont feel like i belong anywhere its like i cant stop hurting my loved ones i want to be alone but i also dont im so lost but i dont know who to ask for help every time i try to express my feelings or wants its always criticized i just want to know what its like to feel truly happy with myself again,3.0
18278,just arrived in la sitting in hotel room waiting for our room service  ,0.0
18279,i hate to love youuu dammit whyd you have to make it so fucken haaarrddd  dammit archie just dammit  ltfangirlismgt,2.0
18280,is hungry  ahh i wish i could chew ,2.0
18281,link my vimeo  think youtube is overrated use vimeo  ,0.0
18282,how do i cope with my dad being in extreme pain my dad had bad arm pain which he was told was due to a pinched nerve and got a disc replacement he has been in extreme pain for three months and has talked about suicide hes been too the er multiple times for these panic attacks and im a  year old male college student i dont know what to do i feel the hopelessness he feels and i feel like im constantly waiting for life to get better but his condition is only getting worse how can i cope,3.0
18283,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
18284,xynthian oh morning you too after lunch i am back to work ,0.0
18285,back to studying  male and female reproductive system,2.0
18286,doesnt want to wait in an unfurnished empty house for the gas company guy ,2.0
18287,httpwwwossiafmlinzmusic if you dont have one get one  ossia,0.0
18288,tv sucks tonight ,2.0
18289,lunch with dan hopefully getting the gang together for some nighttime shenanigans just a nice little saturday ,0.0
18290,got fucked in the mouth xx  parking ticket ,2.0
18291,this years sucks i got a job again and it started off fine but it was around the time everything started to go to shit i had to not spend time with my parents for  weeks because they went away for a week that really sucked my fiancé is at high risk so shes worried about getting infected shes also having lots of other mental issues which is just more added onto this shit cake all of our wedding plans have to be pushed back now because we cant have a big gathering of people all of this is causing real stress and has been causing painthe stress has been getting to me and i missed work yesterday because i was up all night like i am now and i slept through my shift now i have to go in and explain what happened im not very good at talking so im gonna be a nervous wreak and will probably have a breakdown when i get there im still new too so it really doesnt look good on meall this virus shit is causing lots of stress and mental pain all my plans are thrown out the window because of it its making me want to actually die ive lost all motivation i know there are people right now who have things a lot worse i just dont know what to do at this point,3.0
18292,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
18293,so bored i have no one to talk to  ,2.0
18294,owlcity awe man that movie is sooo sad but so good ,2.0
18295,rt nfrealmusic you wanna know whats sad about depression it becomes such a normal for you  feeling happiness feels foreign and almo,1.0
18296,is missing fernando with a passion ,2.0
18297,shaunacausey sounds like fun its a date  when shall i pick u up ,0.0
18298,escaping the loop of being cynical and depressed i constantly find myself doubting myself and others im a high school senior and i always question whether i have friends i feel like generally people are nice to me but i cant tell if its out of pity or obligation or whatever  i have recently  been calling out my friends  on certain things like asking if theyre actually my friends or saying why do you guys actually like me and if friendships arent ruined already i feel like im gonna end up ruining them anyway recently people threw a surprise party for someone and i cant get over the fact that i feel like no one cares enough to do that for me i also have no desire to finish any work ever and my parents berate me on it but i just cant do it like ive tried everything and i just cant my parents are constantly saying to go do things with people or plan something then youll get invited places i just feel like im stuck in a downward loop and i constantly catch myself thinking stuff like how many people would care if i was actually gone or even like imagining how depressing my obituary would be cause i feel like i havent accomplished anything i feel like no one know how to help me in my life and my parents just think like take some antidepressants and everything will be perfectly fine i dont know how coherent this is i just feel like ranting and im so done with my life and this endless downward spiral,3.0
18299,ohyeahmikeman hahah thanks  byeeeeee ,0.0
18300,eminem and chris stapleton are quite literally life saver ive been listening to these  artists are i know it sounds weird but i feel better when im listening to these  guys i think im insane but isnt that life lol so guys my message its short but listen to the fuckin sorry for the language fellas music yall want to if you feel better listening  to x listen to that shit get er guys promise i aint drunk,3.0
18301,anyway im so sad this happened i hope hes okay and get to feel better soon,0.0
18302,good day todayy ,0.0
18303,lizloz morning ouch bad keyboard stilll ,2.0
18304,just took a shower and headed out for a walk with my little brothers in about an hour ,0.0
18305,broke up again broke up twice this year feeling terrible can someone please send some help,3.0
18306,hoedown throwdown all i can say is im getting there ,0.0
18307,i feel like im being over dramatic about my problems title says it all ive felt this way for so long like  years i always feel like im subconsciously acting depressed or anxious because i want and need attention most of the time i end up thinking im right that my problems are my problems so i should be able to take care of it all myself ive tried so many different ways thinking about it now too i guess i do selfharm in a way nothing extreme or anything but like hitting myself hard in the head with or without something in my hands im always hitting myself when i feel ive messed upanother part to this is that i dont feel like ive been through enough in my life to feel this way i always hear people who went through a lot of stuff and are doing better than i am it just sucks because i know these feelings are valid but theres always the tinge of doubt in the back of my mind sorry for the long post,3.0
18308,has just been playing  with baker and couldent get past round  ,2.0
18309,i wanna see up who wants to go with ,0.0
18310,i want to fucking die ill never be able to accomplish anything i want to do in life actually no im not accomplishing anything i want to do in life because i do not have the ability to everytime i fucking try to i fail and everytime i fail i just fall deeper and deeper into my depression and suicidal thoughts i fucking hate my life and i fucking hate that i cant do what i want to fucking do in life i just want to kill myself hell why shouldnt i,3.0
18311,thisstarchild welcome home we have got the kettle on ,0.0
18312,miaarose wooow mia you rock so talented and prettyy  xxx,0.0
18313,karlaam im watching the red carpet right now just saw taylor lautner and miley and zac efron but i want the ceremony ,2.0
18314,my poor shoulders they burned ,2.0
18315,piginthepoke its made by a lady tho very nice lady but alas a lady  feel ok  how r u ,2.0
18316,suffering from ptsd living in an abusive family story timeim underage and a girl yesterday i earned a pretty big position for a project at school and i was pretty happy and proud of myself so i wanted to treat myself with some food sounds really bad but i was pretty hungry at the time since i havent eaten anything the entire dayi finally got my food was sitting in the car my very abusive father was driving like i said i was hungry so i started eating first thing i got it my abusive father then goes on to say stop eating for about  times when i havent even chewed thoroughly the first bite he had an aneurysm he had surgery and over time everyone could tell he started to lash out on things pretty easily having problems with balance anger etc he then goes on to punch me right in the face knocking  my glasses off whilst driving it was really hard and i was really confused  minute car ride was full of death threats at me mocking my everything threatening to kill me when we get homei run as fast as i can to enter home knocking on the door afraid for my life because this wasnt the first time my father threatened me i get very scared when hes angry he tends to hurt me really bad i was hyperventilating and shaking and once the door was opened by my brother i quickly ran to my roommy brother is  times worse than my abusive father he had bullied and abused me ever since i was a child i have enormous hate towards him and never liked talking to him hes also obese and  years older than me he enters my room starts getting angry at me for no reason punches me in the face when im shaking and couldnt breathe started bleeding from my nose from that one punch in the face i started panicking because i hate seeing blood ptsd from  years ago another abuse story and when i called for help since the blood wasnt stopping no one came to help meim still trying to breathe normally and shaking like crazy the blood eventually stops later brother barges in my room again chokes me to the wall while also hitting my head really bad i have a headache ever since that i was really shocked at this point screamed for help but judging from how no police came nobody cared to call the police i have really bad ptsd from this event it all made me realize how easily this family could really kill me it also worsened my fear of men took some sleeping pills to bed took some hours to actually go to sleep kept crying in silence nobody cared they just continued watching tv while i was in the other room absolutely in shock panicked scared and contemplating lifehavent stopped thinking about random ways to end myself again not the first time being abused by everyone in the family for absolutely no reason im just the family punching bag since im the youngest i also hate how they all hit me in the head when theyre hurting me its like they really want me to get brain damagei just cant handle every day like i used to ever since this traumatic event ive seen blood for christs sake please help any advice on how to survive in such conditions will be appreciated ive avoided writing my problems here since last year when i wrote about another abuse story people didnt believe me and started joking how i was a troll in the comments that made me realize how bad this family treats me its to the point where people on this subreddit didnt even believe me i fell into deep thought after that but now i come again for actual help actual advice please dont joke it really hurt me last time this is my life and i have to go through it everyday thank you for reading help is appreciated,3.0
18317,jaredmaine good morning jared pleeease reply me or reply someone why dont you reply anyone ,2.0
18318,watching a movie cant sleep ,2.0
18319,kerryinholland america but it full of americans  what sort of job are you lookingat,0.0
18320,anyone had success with psychologist hi allthrowaway for obvious reasonsim a  and believe i have a mix of anxietydiagnosed and depression i hate talking about it because all my problems are first world problems to the max im  live in la have an amazing girlfriend and make almost  a year sounds great right fuck it all i chased money throughout my twenties and now know that in amount of money can buy happiness i hide it well and am considered a driven and even upbeat person by my peers what they dont know is that i put on that fake mask every damn day and its so so tiring i dont trust my girlfriendirrationally only have  genuine friends and have little family connections other than my dying fathercancer sorry that was a big bitch fest has anyone had success with seeing a psychologist i found some in network with my insurance and am thinking about going,3.0
18321,tommcfly we asked them to put the mtv awards yesterday at the bar but they didnt have mtv ,2.0
18322,heb sold at  was down  bucks not  up   nice  lol  i never lose ,0.0
18323,natashawescoat  my bff is a massage therapist and does miracles for back pain ,0.0
18324, lol definitely an alpha tester lioncub cougar geek ,0.0
18325,cesyaslaughter its your payback for what you did to me haha ,0.0
18326,i am a stain on the face of the earth i am a horrible person with no good qualities nobody would miss me im contemplating suicide and im pretty calm about it it is something im destined to do indubitably i am not worth anything as a being contrary to the belief of all redditors who will reply to this i have never once done anything correct in my life all i have ever succeeded in has been to be hurtful and disrespectful to others and taking others for granted all i breed is catastrophe i am not at all talented or skilled at anything in particular i am below average in every concept known to man i have no motivation nor intention to progress in my lifei seem to be an inconvenience an unpleasant burden towards society id say my existence is more so comparable to a tumor i am not productive and only produce negative effects on others that unfortunately have the unbearable pain that comes from interaction with someone like meentrapped in this body i dream of going into eternal sleep a great rest that lasts to the end of time i do not have any interest in anything anymore daily politics bore me a great deal and im not at all intrigued by life at all i dont see a reason to not follow through with it when i have no intrinsic value and no drive nor intent to live at all,3.0
18327,sadly i cant seem to make my iphone in to a isuperphone by shining sonic screwdriver at it so no intergalactic calls for me ,2.0
18328,sorry mel im updatingmy job weighs heavy on my heart ,2.0
18329,i just ate a whole can of jalapeno pringles ,2.0
18330,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
18331,omg whats the info in jeffree stars new album  i cant wait ,0.0
18332,poor leighton meester shes got a scandal ,2.0
18333,ive stopped getting out of bed unless i have work i cant seem to get up until past  and then as my bed is my only place to sit and its more comfortable to lie i just end up staying in bed most of the time unless i have work its got especially bad recently the past few days ive just woken up and gone back to sleep againall i want to do is sleep i dont enjoy being awake at any point anymore im barely talking to my few friends and havent appeared interested in anything for months im really hoping this lifts soon im at my wits end im so tired literally all the time ,3.0
18334,stuck in a hard place with my only friends im currently in grade  of school and for the past few months now ive been stuck in a rough spot with pretty much my only friends in may of  in grade  we went on a trip to quebec and i did a lot of selfreflection during that time when my friends were asleep id be sitting in the bathroom doing nothing but thinking i realized how horrible of a person i was i was rude to people i would treat people as if they were below me and would try to insult anyone the only exceptions were my family and friends because i cared about them too much to insult themover the summer i became better and was a lot nicer to people it was probably one of the best summers of my life just because of how much nicer i had become when school started again i was ready for a new year with my friends but thats not what i got i noticed in only a week of going back to school that i had become rotten again and my friends were even worse they started isolating people from our group and because of that ive lost  friendsevery day most of my friends would usually treat me like garbage i figured it was stress and maybe they were just joking because we did that sometimes over the next few weeks nothing had changed i stay up at night thinking about the day and telling myself things will get better and its been  months things never got better only worse it got to the point where my friends would just shut me up if i wanted to converse at all it was a wonder why i was even friends with them in the first placefast forward to last week and something happened the police were alerted to gunshots near us so they made out school go on lockdown i was forced into a closet with  other people i knew these people but i knew nothing about them we were stuck in that closet for  hours and they have honestly been  of the best hours of my year it felt refreshing to talk to nice people again i felt like i was actually part of the conversation people were acknowledging me and what i said i felt happy againi did have some good experiences with my friends every day but for every good experience  bad would follow now i want to get away from them but id only have  friends left and i dont really get to see those  friends at all if i leave this group i will be alone for the next  months but i have stay ill probably end up worse than everive never had to go through something like this in my life before its been nothing but smooth sailing up until now so im in a hard spot and dont know what to do,3.0
18335,xmaxinex i hate workin wen its nice outside  like yesterday and saturday ,2.0
18336,natalieloves im fine thanks still v happy because of the gig the day before yesterday  now im studying microsoft access for exams ,0.0
18337,i hope this eases the mental pain a bit basically since you exist you are a part of the universe and since you are the universe if you like anything literally anything even if its something minor or seemingly insignificant you in essence like yourself since the object or person that you like exists similarly anything you love you love yourself its undeniable since you must exist and therefore you must likelove yourself in a way and even if you currently dont lovelike anything the universe also is the spacetime continuum which means that if you ever likedloved anything even as a kid you likelove yourselfim sorry if this doesnt help but i find it helpful to beat some of the thoughts that can run through your head during a depressive episode also as a little tidbit you are everyone so if you care about yourself even slightly then that means everyone cares about you again this may not help but please know that people do care,3.0
18338,sometimes i just wanna die and not get better its so tough honestly im constantly being warned that its easy now and itll get bad later its always bad i dont want to be around for it to get worse i wont be able to handle it hell i cant even handle it now god all i do is spend time on reddit and twitter back and forth and im so lonely and always mad at myself for not trying to get better but i dont even want to get better at this point ive gotten better but than it got worse i dont want to get even worse than i have to the point i cant get out of bed i just want to leave and never come back and dying offers that,3.0
18339,miss vn so much wanna go back right now ,2.0
18340,happy mothers day to all da mamas amp mothers to be enjoy dis day take cold advantage of kickn ur feet up amp being da diva dat u are ,0.0
18341,listen carefully  i shall say zis only vonce ,0.0
18342,lindasuhler youre so right obamas legacy was depression and fear  hard to remember to thank god im suckin ai ,0.0
18343,rt adnbiblequotes get rid of your of worries cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you   aldubstopthehate,2.0
18344,my princess bbq is not looking good for sundayi will keep ya guys posted ,2.0
18345,y te amo más que ayer paro😩,2.0
18346,michaelsheen   not fair ihave slow phone internet   girr im like marvel  fan and dc wich is superman to ,2.0
18347,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
18348,just found out my bmi is in the obese range lol guess whos not eating ,3.0
18349,tw suicide maybe if i swallow all my pills id feel better ,0.0
18350,rt  anxiety is caused by a lack of control organization preparation and action david kekich american antiaging entrepre,2.0
18351,wayyy too much money  spent enough for the summer,2.0
18352,time to work outside gotta finish prepping the deck tomorrow is painting day ahhh spring  ,0.0
18353,listen to the lonely island we like sports  its the best,0.0
18354,barbtheaussie hehehe i think you have wait for the comp to finish before you can vote   which will be tomorrow night  thanks hugs,0.0
18355,cantebury perfection doesnt exist ,0.0
18356,dibbyl doesnt sound fun  i like to stay indoors myself ,0.0
18357,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
18358,back to the revision nooooooooooooooooooo ,2.0
18359,ilovemakonnen the only problem is whatever they announce next week might take another month to become available ,2.0
18360,my bike computer died about  minutes into my ride on saturday looks like it was around  listened to lots of podcasts while riding ,0.0
18361, kobe from spain u are simply da best hope u keep playin like this for many years ps i hope u understand my english ,0.0
18362,chrisdca now why do you have to be that way ,2.0
18363,guernseylibrary dm sent with link to pictures amp i have asked our guru  names of suppliers by the way the orange dog seats have gone ,2.0
18364,is crankyits hot inside the house again will the ac issue ever really be successfully addressed i am beginning to think not ,2.0
18365,jazzeejef looks like it wants to rain about here but i know that aint gonna happen guess you will be staying inside ,2.0
18366,rosemcflyxdanny  aw i love his straight hair but his curly hair aswell  he always looks good  xx,0.0
18367,missing m   gonna have a nap now uber tired then i get to speak to m again whoop whoop  love you lots xx,2.0
18368,just ran over a squirell ,2.0
18369,jordanknight hi jordan im gonna all of ui know ur busy and i know ur probably tired but please reschedule nc dont leave us out ,2.0
18370,i just lost  followers what is this im going to cry myself to sleep tonight ,2.0
18371,so lonely  i need cuddles,2.0
18372,its my birthday and i want to drown in my sadness normal  year olds shouldnt feel this way especially on their birthday but my mom has been yelling at me since i woke up cant she at least save it for tomorrowive been listening to the smiths and crying because thats literally the only thing im good at at least according to my motherim turning  today and i want to never turn  im literally drowning in my sadness and sorrow and now i have to pretend the whole day to be happyi dont have the energy i just dontcan someone hire a hitman on me thank you in advance itll be a great birthday present,3.0
18373,hmmm r massages supposed  hurt cuz i wuz in so much pain when i got mine   not a good  experience ,2.0
18374,tracecyrus im from dk i didnt get a ticket  itll be awesome for you guys the venue is really cool dk loves ushake it is huge here,2.0
18375,andylevy ps i heart your face ,0.0
18376,i opened up about my depression today i talked to a friend about it and she understood the weight and emotion in my mind and even better understood why i felt the way i did and it felt like a dark cloud lifted over my mind i didnt accomplish much else today but it feels like such a comfort to talk to a person who understands me and gets through all the emotional barriers that the majority of people get from me and she did so easily,3.0
18377, good job  i wish i worked in a zoo ,2.0
18378,missyvie i really like the da vinci codebut this was a load of rubbishwas really looking forward to it too ,2.0
18379,yay going out tommorow after school woopwoo  hehe,0.0
18380,starbucks iced coffee is my favorite catching up on last nights bachelorette ,0.0
18381,makebarox unfortunately im settling for mels diner maybe next time ,2.0
18382,overtheparkway hahaha okay then at least we know the opposite of your true feelings when not sober ,0.0
18383,jenrajpura hahaha im going to be so disappointed that i miss this   but if you go have fun,2.0
18384,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
18385,anxiety written excitement filled  tomorrow,1.0
18386,colinnixon much appreciated ,0.0
18387,rt selinaeshraghi suicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a for,1.0
18388,celebrating  years with huey today ,0.0
18389,yay so excited for kings island ,0.0
18390,noo my axams have started ,2.0
18391,morning is here again waaaah ,2.0
18392,i just arrive at the office after lunchneed to send grandma to her monthly trip to the bank ,0.0
18393,planning the summer with tara  i think im getting the flu  rough stuff,2.0
18394,nsarryeh your rockinggg twitterim sooo proud of u ,0.0
18395,xomcflyandjb i like chelsea staub ,0.0
18396,mikecheung i agree  in that respect they are cool i think i just need to adjust my habits more than anything ,0.0
18397,lifezette who calls it manic depression is it   thats like calling those with alzheimers goin senile  geez🤦‍♂️,1.0
18398,no not quarantine rant im not gonna vent about quarantine but its still caused by you know what i had my therapy planned before but have to cancel because of the c my dad has always been ill something with lungs inflammation and now added with the risk of contracting  he recently called me and told me not to tell anyone else in my family that he feels like his time is near he can see it coming while im literally on the other side of the globe away from my parents the thing is with all this travel ban if the worst thing happened i might not be able to see him forever also with no job i cant really afford flight ticket as well kinda hard to suppress the negative thoughts,3.0
18399,meshellaurie any jobs at nova going i need one badly i will get kips breakfast clean ashs shoes be your pawhatever ,0.0
18400,mstima i dont know it seemed to cheer you up the other day alittle ,2.0
18401,im in cologne doin a radio interview crazy people up in here ,0.0
18402,imeducatednsexi wish i could but i dont have a him to call ,2.0
18403,saying no to me its having that physical desire need and want to to say nono to the groupsno to the recovery club for depressed people to talk others in physical settings and change behaviours no to job hunting i am on long term sick anyway no to going off the main thing that keep me going each day smoking that weed living with depression this year will be purely focused on coping symptoms from fibromyalgia and its associated problems as seperate condition seeing all chronic conditions as illnesses with no cure whatsoever having a distinct mind for problems of life away from depression focus on coping with study and bunking all groups for the yearplus taking nootropics modafinil and smoking that weed,3.0
18404,hellfest cancelled conference on embedded systems instead they call it the embedded systems lunch ,2.0
18405,how do you cope with brain zaps i just got off cymbalta cold turkey my psych told me and replaced it with remeronmirtazapine so far remeron has been really great for my insomnia but im on my second day and brain zaps have been hitting me literally nonstop the whole day my head feels hot too the brain zaps are really bad to the point where i cant do anything simple like standing up ive been on cymbalta  for about five months and im wondering if the cause of these brain zaps are because i stopped it cold turkey and switched to another one i texted my psychiatrist but she hasnt responded yet plus i want to see what your experiences are with brain zaps and how you coped with them ,3.0
18406,ulovedee  lmaoo yes yoo when i get the multiple choice im good moneyy ,0.0
18407,intrusive thoughts like you i dont deserve to be happy are happening more frequently how do i suppress these this is a throwaway account im almost  married to my best friend and highshcool sweetheart and in what i guess is a well paying career in pharmacy it last time i was formally diagnosed with depression was when i was  considered recovered by  with short episodes sprinkled through my s since the diagnosis year id rarely to occasionally get thoughts like you shouldnt be alive i want to die and you dont deserve this happiness for the most part i could talk myself away from these thoughts however recently   months i have had new job responsibilities and i am getting more anxious about screwing up or asking too many dumb questions because some of this is not sticking as fast as id like in the last  weeks these thoughts have increased in number and severity its to the point where it feels like at least once a day i feel like its true that i should not be happy i dont actually want to die and dont have a plan in mind in an immediate sense i just want to put these thoughts out of my mind so i can  focus on my work and  focus on improving my habits maintaining my home and sense of wellbeingwhat are some strategies to minimize and retrain my brain to not be so antagonistic to my own existence,3.0
18408,illegally classified but the courts will never give him a fair trial idk what it will take to ensure his safety o httpstcosymnzaoqph,0.0
18409,cleolinda i suppose there arent any around alabama though ,2.0
18410,grr dean always takes over the computer when hes home ,2.0
18411,does twitted automatically delete dms after a certain amount of time bc im missing some of mine ,2.0
18412,updated toiletrushs script to avoid copy amp paste crashing problem in  but the gps problem still exists ,2.0
18413,i had a dream last nite that i met the male version of me and i fell in love at first sight is that cocky was it a dream  ,0.0
18414,catching up on kings and waiting for a certain orange fur ball to arrive ,0.0
18415,sweetishbubble yep exactly id do it if i had more time but between my three remaining stories and rl i cant  but i wanna soo bad,2.0
18416,a story of hope in the august of  i was at one of my lowest points i was struggling with suicidal thoughts daily i lost the will to do anything because i thought i had no one to please i was struggling with overeating and was overweight then i did something that changed my life i gave myself six months to see if things would get better and if they didnt i would kill myself because i couldnt take it anymorefirst i tried to change my state of mind i began to try to think more positively i tried to be nicer to people i met new people and quickly gained a reputation as being that quiet but really nice guy the people i met during this time would have never known i had depression  i joked with them i smiled around them the funny thing is as time went on this smile became less of a facade and became more genuine i finally found some people who actually cared and that was hugei started exercising  i met a lot of these people through my crosscountry team i spent less time eating because i had more things to do and as my state of mind improved i found it easier to find the will to do things and lost weight which ive kept off for three months now im now at a healthy weight bmi of  and feel so much better than i did weighing twenty pounds morei got clean i used to selfharm nearly daily  i was not in a good place part of it was probably due to the people i found and the support that came with it but i will say todays a big milestone for me  i havent selfharmed since i am proud to be able to truthfully say i am now six months cleananother thing i noticed changing were my social skills i was quiet because i had no confidence in myself around other people i will say that taking the first step to meet someone new is tough but figured they probably didnt know much about me  i could be someone other than the emptiness i felt inside as time passed conversations flowed much easier i spent less time trying to say the right thing and more time just talking needless to say my confidence improved greatly especially as the weight came offwere all fighting a really tough battle but youre never going to improve if you dont give yourself to opportunity to do so its not going to be easy but start with something simple like maybe taking better care of yourself or improving your behavior around other people then gradually shift to more daunting problems like your outlook on events the thing is once you improve yourself in one of these areas it becomes easier to improve the others maybe give yourself six months like i did a hell of a lot can change in six months give yourself a try  at times its not going to be easy but you can do it you can turn this around and ill be here for support as well  what helped me was finding the right people and if theres no one else ill be that personin the august of  i gave myself six months to see if things would get better and if they didnt i would kill myself today starts month number seven,3.0
18417,savannahflower whats good  you get my msg lol,0.0
18418,just rambling you can ignore this lol i need an escape ran out of weed and ended up cutting a bit again got alot on my mind nothing necessarily too big but im just so tired and overwhelmedalso got a new job a few weeks ago and im struggling big time there feel as if im in the way of the people i work with messing up a lot too very difficulton top of these little things i just dont really understand the sentiment of my existence yet again living working sleeping waiting for time to go by praying time goes slower watching life from my windowits all just effort at the end of the day i dont think i want to die at this moment which is an improvement from a few months agoi dont have energy around my friends i dunno i just dont think i fit in with their vibe i find myself drained and in my head when im with them but i dont want to loose themi turned  in january and i end up missing school life a lot left in  my year group will all be going off to uni and ill be left alone everyone wouldve forgotten i exist by then thoughi guess i just dont really know how to exist lol my social skills are lazy and i dont have the energy to up my social skills either i want to live but i feel like a piece of flesh thats jsut well here on this earthi drink myself until i either pass out or sick up its been my way of coping a lot because if im drinking then passing out im not in my head and my thoughts disappear for a while its all i really know at the moment i feel my soul leave and let the demons take itits like when you stare at your ceiling in the dark you just feel empty inside and like you dont belong to the world or yourself i just dont understand my existence is all ahahah,3.0
18419, i miss you too lady i was just about to ask if you could get to oly this wknd but then i remembered that its fathers day wknd ,2.0
18420,helloandre thanks ,0.0
18421,finally got my settings sorted for my phone now i can use picture messages and go on the web having to use new phone lg cookie broken ,2.0
18422,scheru sudokubear sure  sounds like a good plan ,0.0
18423,sooooo whats up im kinda boreddd  guess what i bought a  ounce bag of skittles for  last week i  skittles ,0.0
18424, thanks for the ff ,0.0
18425,i love my mom so muchhh happy mothers day ,0.0
18426,im home after deciding that the formula for aerobic respiration is   damn you biology,0.0
18427,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay ,1.0
18428,i am crazy the truth always comes out in the end i cant keep relationships with people because i am crazy i was really close to someone until i told him who i really am about a mental illness not depression  another how it affects me how i was always waiting around for him to email back  i basically told him hey i am obsessive and genuinely crazy and ive been hiding it from you for all this time it was going great for a year or so then i told him too much via email i let on who i really am and he doesnt love me anymore he knows i am crazy i can meet the kindest nicest person but if i am crazy whats the use i really liked him a lot so much more than ive liked anyone and now he doesnt love me anymore,3.0
18429,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
18430,its kinda sad to see iliza get a little less funny with every special she seems to slowly be replacing humor wit ,1.0
18431,i am falling apart and cant even study anymore i am going to try to enroll one of the hardest universes in my country serbia but it is realistically too hard for me and i dont even wanna enroll it i just choose it because i can earn decent money in that field if i had any interest i would have chosen that field but since i dont i figured i should at least choose something that will help me earn money i ve been studying all day for months i ve been falling apart for months now that is nothing new the problem is that i at least was productive i was able to study atleast but now i cant even do that anymore i feel totally wasted and burned out by all this pressure plus i have lost all my friends i feel like the shit all the time no one cares about  me i dont have any interest or hobbies and feel very frustrated and there are many more negative private things i can mention but i think this unwillingness to study is my main problem atm since time is running out and i am so lost and cant find any more ways to motivate myself to study something that i dont care about for hours i cant do this anymore,3.0
18432,cat sitting for a friend this cat isnt letting me sleep   ugh  this reminds me why i never want any pets,2.0
18433,ecirez well watch pcd concert come with us xac sisters will come too ,0.0
18434,peterelst damn should reschedule my vacation then ,2.0
18435,cronogenesis did the lack of being bothered about  work out for you then   mike,0.0
18436,rt  paulatics goofygemini usscobblerguy nathanhrubin i have had  chemo treatments  on tuesday surgery been hospitali,0.0
18437,hurricanehelms nice pic ,0.0
18438,ojthekid hahaha yeah i was busy gloating over the win i swear i still have the smile plastered on my face ,0.0
18439,indypenelope why shpank ya been working all day on this ,0.0
18440,getting really fustrated cause my radio disney keeps stopping ,2.0
18441,going to anthony hamilton and musiqs concert tonight  cant wait should be good ,0.0
18442,im about to have a depressive episode ive struggled with this for a long time but since starting college and getting a wonderful boyfriend its been so much better something small happened at work today and all of a sudden it was like a switch went off in my brain ive been in a daze ever since starting to slip back into my old mindset i feel a depressive episode coming on last time i had one of these i couldnt get out of bed idk what to do i cant start doing this again ,3.0
18443, i sent a request  who knows how long it will take for him to accept,2.0
18444,enzeehashhash well i dunno what i prefer haha anyway habis exam coz mine habis on  ,2.0
18445,rt neverknownfacts not having enough sleep per day leads to desire for sex depression and alcoholism,1.0
18446,your voice is amazing  lisalavie  keep representing canada ,0.0
18447,jonasbrothers just got the new cd its amazing like always ,0.0
18448,i just downloaded tweetdeck  i  hope it will be a smoother ride than the last plug in i used  i am being brave ,0.0
18449,goodshoeday work has a tendency of getting in the way ,2.0
18450, i just read your blog it was hilarious haha it made me rofl i wish i was in the us so i could see you on tour ,2.0
18451,listening to enrique iglesias songs on youtube pretty damn good songs ,0.0
18452,differentieel haha klopt ,0.0
18453,youngq you are so sweet rob thanks for all the support to the blockdreamers  xoxo from mexico,0.0
18454,the loneliness is killing me im  years old right now im in cc transferring in a year and a half or so i have suffered from anxiety and loneliness throughout my entire life which has led to depression i have no friends i have really only had two friends my entire life one i lost about  months ago i find it very difficult to talk to him as hes pretty high maintenance and he just said to me youre emotionally fucked up kid fix yourself along with calling me a bad person etc the other and i just kinda drifted apart once we graduated hs i have a part time job and get along well with my coworkers and talk occasionally but they also form a sort of clique that im just not part of ive never been in a relationship i just freeze up around girls it doesnt help that theres a girl in the group that i have feelings for who has a boyfriend whos also in the group i almost dont want to live anymore i cant muster up the courage to leave my comfort zone and initiate conversation i know that humans are social beings and i feel so dehumanized and invisible my motivation in life is being consistently sapped  i only have my family to talk to and they dont know how bad things are so i feel im forced to put on a mask my mom would break down if i told her any of this she lost my dad when i was  he had serious addiction issues and killed himself by od on alcohol and pills sometimes thats the only that keeps me going but otherwise my existence feels meaningless i fear im doomed to live this way forever ive posted some of this to other reddit groups and got some helpful advice but overall i just feel so empty and worthless and cant get myself motivated im currently on lexapro for anxiety and vyvanse for adhd have told my therapist some of this but the pain is almost too much to bear ive tried to find hobbies initiate conversation but it never ever goes far im not sure how much longer i can go on like this,3.0
18455,editing sucks sometimes bc you get excited about using a song till you realize you cant mark the beats right and t ,0.0
18456,kevinjonas because its kevin jonas day yayayayayay ,0.0
18457,happy national running day everyone  whos got the runs for    now get out there and run your hiney off,0.0
18458,tiwines my pleasure whens the next event  ,0.0
18459,i no longer enjoy my hobbies to start im not entirely sure where to post this because i dont feel depressed ive been there before and this isnt it at least i dont think i have a few hobbies that i used to enjoy art writing and roleplaying these are hobbies are took up some years back while i was still in middle school the three years that proved to be the hardest mentally those three things were my escape i used to draw every single day during classes when i would finish work and sometimes during lunch i was in love with it i couldnt stop doing it i used to get lost in drawings and hours would just fly by writing was another form of escape for me too i wrote short stories or brief ideas mostly but it was still fun even when i knew how bad it wasthen roleplaying came i met some incredible people it was like playing pretend again but just with words and with way more people available all the time i didnt have to worry about limitations if the character could fly i didnt have to stress about reality sucking so much even when i was depressed i found joy in these thingsand then we moved and i had a job briefly very briefly i was so thankful to be fired because i was the receptionist at a salon and absolutely loathed it i learned real quick that this isnt a job for me i cant handle talking on the phone to strangers or checking people in and they talked about having me run the register too that scared the crap out of me all that was quite some time ago and ill admit ive rather given up on my life at first it was i cant get a job to it doesnt matter anymore i honestly value my life as something worthless i got excited at the idea of maybe making money from art i got to design a tattoo for my mothers coworker and she actually got it done on her skin but then i see all the wips works in progress that i will never finish the ideas ill never touch upon and how dull lifeless one dimensional amateurish my art is its not worthy of selling then i just get frustrated with my hands the inability to draw whats in my head on paper or anything close to it that frustration turns to anger and the anger turns to disgustthats how its been for writing and roleplaying that intense dissatisfaction the frustration the boredom and i dont know what to do i want to enjoy these things again and no matter what ive tried nothing works  so im hoping maybe reddit has ideas some theories anything excluding therapy because thats expensive and honestly i did that enough for a few years i never want to do it again note my grandfather passed away of als and i wondered if that had any effect on my hobbies but even before then i was lacking interest i think it just sped up the decline tldr i lost interest in my hobbies how do i get it back,3.0
18460,he wasnt in korea last time this happened and he wasnt in korea this time fuck im so sad i hope those close to him take care of him,1.0
18461,ohlulu i miss those days too when we didnt have to worry about stuff too much ,2.0
18462, i was one of the  who saw your photos on flickr  great shots as usual ,0.0
18463,animadi youre welcome and thank you ,0.0
18464,if you got family a home and people that love you maybe if you were more thankful they were here and thankful for t ,0.0
18465,mileycyrus won congratulations miley  we told you you were gonna win i love you,0.0
18466,a good job drink wine live on a californian vineyard and twitterfacebook about it   salary apply before june   http ,0.0
18467,wow not tweeted atall today o my legs hurt from the wee fit  hopefully it means that im actually doin it right,2.0
18468,elisabby haha i love you too misss ,0.0
18469,the light came on  today i figured out something its not good but it will make things easier  the ,0.0
18470,busy busy week next week so i have to establish an early bed time ,2.0
18471,study notes have been successful so far danish cake stuff is yum ,0.0
18472,going to sleep then go to work at  ,2.0
18473,woke up at  today headed  to the mall with sammy ,0.0
18474,seriously does it get better i keep holding on and hoping it does but its been  years now and nearly everyday has been worse than the last i want things to be better ive been trying to better myself but it seems like everything i do just makes things worse im really starting to think of putting an end to it myself,3.0
18475,where oh where is my iphone  welli guess december isnt that far away ,2.0
18476, tamzytheweresol i only lived there for two years you know ive ridden on an elephant before  mega huge thing ,0.0
18477,wil francis is married and having a baby in october however aiden are fucked ,2.0
18478,rt  me coming back to school where my traumas anxiety and depression were made ,1.0
18479,smalfoyblack i started a novel length fic a couple of years ago wow already but didnt finish ,2.0
18480,lets talk about mentalhealth amp our relationships with others check out this article on mental health amp marriage httpstcoxdcdwewktw,2.0
18481,am i really depressed i dont want to be that stupid asshole that self diagnoses himself with depression but im afraid to seek professional help for multiple reasons mostly financial does anyone have any good resources for cheap help,3.0
18482,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
18483,really sleepy going to bed to try and catch some zzzzs  peace and love to all,0.0
18484,i try to be social guess what fucking happens no one wants to talk to methis is such fucking bullshit  i make myself available nobody wants to fucking talk with me or hang out with me  before any one of you comes at me with the youll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar ive fucking tried that shit  ive tried it for three goddamn decades and heres what its gotten methe complete and total lack of ability to create serotonina shitty abusive wife who said she would file the divorce papers in october if i had no intention of reconciliation  fuck you dude thats all i fucking did was work to make you happy and sacrifice my own goddamned mental wellbeing because i wanted to make you feel like you were worth something  the least you could fucking do would be to file the goddamned paperwork  shouldnt be too fucking hard for you to do since you decided to not even come down to visit me after our wedding  so yeah  last day i fucking saw your ungrateful face was the inability to feel anything other than complete and utter hatred  of the timethe only thing thats kept me happy is the meager social media interaction i have but even now thats starting to dwindle because people keep moving onpeople spend all of five minutes with me and oh im too busy etcfuck that you can take ten minutes out of your day and have a conversation with me instead of ignoring mei wish i had been born prettiermaybe then people would love me,3.0
18485, haha i dont know if i want a coldplay album even if it is free ,0.0
18486,dont you pretend to be happy just to keep up with everyone else yeah its just hard most of time i really want to let my tears out,3.0
18487,beautyinreallif aw maybe next week ,2.0
18488,rt geeksofcolor rick famuyiwa set to produce disney liveaction fairytale about an african princess titled sadé httpstcovyyxbeocij,0.0
18489, im watching  now i luv this show but one tym dae calld da winner of th nokia  and i missed the call  sad much,2.0
18490,i hate having anxiety,2.0
18491,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
18492,bout to lay it down gotta see  early in the am  baby siin gotta get him shots  too   holler,2.0
18493,am i a bad person for enjoying the worlds current situation posting this even tho i already know the answer ill be brief idk about the rest of the population but im actually very happy that now i can finally stay in bed all day and nobody will judge me i wish i could live like this forever and never do anything or see anyone ever again for the first time i am optimistic that the end of humanity will be the way to go and i wont need to kms yes i know that im selfish privileged and stupid but ive never felt more happy in my entire life hopefully the world ends soon together with all my problems,3.0
18494,is still in bed ,0.0
18495,jennstonel oh yeah ive been blond for about  years and was only brunette for the last  months feels normal actually ,0.0
18496,ddlovato  demi you are my rolemodel and i think you are amazing,0.0
18497,off to get orange gatorade for the birthday boy then a bike ride along lakeshore before going to the jays game good day ,0.0
18498,treated to lunch as an early birthday giftblessed ,0.0
18499,i need a new converse already go buy me ones ,0.0
18500,pls read my new post at httpwwwangresultacom  the link is here gt httptrimnigq thanks ,0.0
18501,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
18502,hello internet strangers this is a long first post because im not sure what im doing anymore throwaway because while i really need people to talk at about life the universe and everything i dont really want it associated with well me you know what i meani technically dont have a diagnosis of depression right now but this is because i am very wary of telling the therapist anything like hey i actually do think about suicide at least a few times a week not with intent exactly but i do not want that shit on my records i have adhd and god knows what else still working things out tried various mood altering drugs before and frankly nothing made the slightest difference in fact ive been on one for a couple months now and have to switch it because i dont think it helps anything and it literally makes me feel sick every dose but psych doctors are in short supply so its been forever since i actually saw a doctor instead of picking up written prescriptions at the place i go toi have a personal and family history of depression and i know i have cycles i am smack in the middle of a depressive one the other day i sat on the couch thinking about i think washing the dishes and while i was like yeah i should do this it needs to happen at the same time i just did not care and i recognized the apathy and largely didnt care this happens a lot these daysi do next to nothing with my day i am lucky enough to have family that supports me and i perform some functions for the family but bring in no money of my own those functions are actually needed but also arranged for my benefit i exhibit a lot of classic academic failure symptoms of inattentive adhd and so have no degree just wasted a bunch of money on college that my parents paid for for my whole adulthood i have sat at home with minimal jobs and cost people money i only began to try medical intervention on my own about three years ago and its been on and off due to insurance changes and the like i am still actively pursuing this because while i am apathetic i am also frustrated i am grateful that my family supports me but i hate being in this position and hate feeling so powerless to change it im afraid to even try to go back to school because i have zero confidence that i wont just fail out again i still have nightmares about schooli am also lonely and sometimes actually have a classic cryfest over this have exactly one friend that i am in a rough patch with and dont talk to right now family shares no interests with me and in fact i have no interests really this has always been an issue nothing holds my interest for long enough for it to become a thing for me what do i do with all that empty time i daydream for hours which i had ways of sharing with that friend but refer to earlier when i said rough patch ive barely spoken to her in months let alone really interacted so i daydream stories usually self inserts having things happen to them that gives them a actual excuse to be unhappy kind of pathetic really but ive been at this for twenty yearsim not really sure what i hope to or will gain by posting i suspect its the illusion of companionship or perhaps people saying zomg i do that too so i feel a bit more normallike about my realization of just how many sentences here i began with the word i so now i feel like a self centered piece of shit,3.0
18503,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
18504, dude i met some naval guys told your name but no luck what dept or wing or clan are you in ,0.0
18505,rt lisssok nothing sucks more then having no one to talk to when you get anxiety that shit sucks,2.0
18506,help i postet the same thing on raspergersim not sure if this is the right place to post this and im sorry if its not i also apologize for any mistakes in my english im not yet diagnosed with aspergers but its what my therapist thinks i have the longer version ive been having breakdowns from time to time for the past couple years at first it was like every  months once then every two weeks once and it got to the point where i had them  times a week theyre caused by tiny mistakes i make during the day if i dont do something right and perfect i get upset if i have to talk to strangers i get upset if someone criticizes me i get upset i tend to overthink „i did this wrong now everything else i worked for is going to fall apart lately ive started to kind of ignore my negative feelings which is not healthy and build it up i now have stronger breakdowns every few weeks by that i mean that i would feel like suffocating and my head would get heavy and i would have racing visual thoughts and would not understand anything  i cannot distinguish between being sad and angry during those episodes and i would wish everything would just stop i dont know how to handle those episodes of thoughtoverload so i just lay down and cry now this is a problem but my bigger problem is that i always tell myself that those feelings i have are cringy everyone else around me is allowed to have those feelings its logical to cry if youre sad but thinking about me crying just seems cringy and wrong i cannot accept the fact im allowed to be sad and demotivated and depressed i know that i should be allowed to feel them just as much as anyone else i always try to tell myself that its ok to feel bad but i dont truly believe in it therefore it just worsens the situation i get upset with myself and start to argue with myself i try to control my thoughts but those negative thoughts always appeari know that those thoughts are unreasonable and that i should not worry about them but i cant i dont know how i could stop those thoughts from reappearing or just accept that im allowed to feel feelingsso if any of you have an idea what i could try or what might be the problem please tell me i would really appreciate it thanks for reading,3.0
18507,hischildalso rhodafromfloda this is what happens when democrats have closed majority of the mental health facilit ,1.0
18508,rt  dont look back when you know you shouldnt dont stress over things that dont matter dont worry about things you,1.0
18509,what should i do hi everyone this my first time posting on reddit so i would like to apologize for any mistakes in my grammar i sort of wanted to vent but also hear everyones opinion on this since im not sure if this happens with all families my whole life ive been heavier in weight compared to other girls so i understand that puts my health in risk i try to do as much exercise as i can but its really hard to that when im being told by my parentsfamily members that i look disgusting ugly pig like gross and any other name you can think of i just want to know is this normal do your family members tease you on your appearance or constantly compare you to your cousins or strangers who are more fit or more physically attractive it has taken a big blow to my self esteem and ive developed depression due to this since ive had to deal with this for the majority of my life im  and its been going on since i was around  what do you guys think i should do,3.0
18510,im loving the cheesechocolate combination haha try it its freakin awesome ,0.0
18511,karendee lmaoooooooooooooooo i was wondering what you were talking about but now i get it hahahah thank you   ,0.0
18512,listening to hillsong united i miss their songs   musicmonday christfollower,0.0
18513,lacanadiense good thanks for asking i said hi because you want all your followers to do so have a good one ,0.0
18514,donniewahlberg  when was it sent i deleted my junk folder before i checked my twits i hope i didnt delete it ,2.0
18515,wants ice cream and my friggin legs are sore ,2.0
18516,waiting in the garage waiting for the person buying my moped   that is ok ill pick another one up in the near future and,2.0
18517,i feel empty and lonely everyday hey guysso ive had issues in my childhood with abusive parents and bullying and that caused a lot of self esteem issues i had worked through a lot of these issues moved to another country and im studying and working at the same time i became very independent and really liked how well i was doing i had a lot of hobbies friends and everythingi recently got into my first relationship and weve been dating for  months however ever since i fell in love with my amazing girlfriend i have lost all sense of self i feel like im nothing without her initially losing my virginity and knowing that this girl liked me made me feel even better and accomplished i was doing great but now i am a complete mess i have no idea what to do with myself anymore my girlfriend has a very busy schedule with med school and that means i now only get to see her  times a week and even then most of the time shes studyingnow i dont know if its the fact that im not getting enough attention in this relationship but my self esteem has gone down the drain i cant get stuff done im neglecting my health i started smoking cigarettes and i have no interests in my hobbies cycling music etc anymorei have some moments of clarity and peace but thats all they are moments a few nights ago i went out on a drive late at night and that just gave me a lot of peace and clarity however in the morning i was a mess again every morning i wake up feeling extremely lonelymy girlfriend used to want me all the time loved sleeping with me and loved getting attention now her med school has taken over her life and shes fine on her own without my attention or time i just feel ive been put on the back end of thingsi have no idea if its me or its my relationship thats causing all this any ideas,3.0
18518,wanted to surprise someone todaywell i failedas the text i got back also reminded me ,2.0
18519,ive been depressed for a year and i just want to end it i have no friends that care for me and j hate my parents ive always thought i was smart and it was a part of my identity since i was a kid but from when i started high school ive been doing shit in all my classes ive quit everything i enjoy doing to focusing school yet i still do terrible im good for nothing,3.0
18520, it was silly that he was so commonly to his vater ,0.0
18521,that was a pic of ronald reagan  made out of jelly beans,2.0
18522,i hate crying im missing my star trek ,2.0
18523,anyone else completely unable to call someone on the phone i hate it so bad every time i have to call someone it costs a lot of overcoming for me i dont know why even when i know theres something positive to call for i cant do it am i the only one,3.0
18524,im so tired but i cant sleep cause my teeth hurt too much ,2.0
18525,lol goodwork lvl  ,0.0
18526,in about  minutes happy mothers day to alll the amazing moms out there  going to bed ,0.0
18527,guess whos phone is finally activated after  hours i had to call atampt ,2.0
18528,my day off is over ,2.0
18529,lilyroseallen lily makes my life so fucking fantastic ,0.0
18530,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
18531, hell yeah ,0.0
18532,captskywalker thanks ,0.0
18533,i lost the one thing that kept me going for the last few years ive wanted to just stop living i never had motivation i didnt want to get out of bed my grades were dropping i had no friends or social life then i met my girlfriend she made me so happy she helped me when i just wanted to end it she saved me so many times after meeting her i started to enjoy life more i started to talk to more people and i was less stressed and now she is gone all those issues are coming back plus that i wasnt there for her when she needed me most i dont know what to do i dont have friends anymore no one would care if i was gone,3.0
18534,jessiejaneduff  flotus i was nader about the mental health of all liberals democrats amp socialists whe ,0.0
18535,gerridd isnt it past your bedtime ,2.0
18536,good mornin like  minutes ago i looked at the clock first at  though ,0.0
18537,melanytexas do something you have never ever thought you could or would do ,0.0
18538,greeneash congrats and you looked quotmahvelousquot on the red carpet ,0.0
18539,natalieannem so dreading  finish hopefully end of next year i would go now and do uni there if i had money  where do you wanna go,2.0
18540,i realized how much i struggle and why id rather take prescribed drugs then live like this anymore it finally dawned on me how empty i feel i wake up looking at the loser in the mirror and it truly hurts looking back at what i once was i havent been happy ever i dont think does anyone have any experience with vyvanse and pristiq i have used that before but its been  years ,3.0
18541,im dying inside im a mostly private person i have a loving family as well as some close friends but underneath the surface things arent what they seem i am daily harassedmade fun of everyday at school by a consistent group of people every time i just laugh and go along with it because the alternative of lying down and crying is worse this has slowly been wearing me down coupled with my own thoughts i am just losing the will to do anything i am putting up a facade because the idea of talking to someone is too hard for me to face i am losing the will to live even with all the great things i have in my life i just cant be positive i have come close to suicide multiple times each time chickening out because i am afraid of death i dont feel loved or appreciated i cry myself to sleep i just want someone to love me,3.0
18542,loaded two pallets of beans on the ford now it looks like a  ton lowrider ,0.0
18543,stuff it ill wear ma grey ones ,0.0
18544,pagebypaige wasnt that great i had a migraine headache that got the best of me early and i had to leave ,2.0
18545,i dont want to die why death i hate it i dont want to cease to exist i want to constantly be here in the world i dont want to age and die please help me,3.0
18546,i want some candy ,0.0
18547,my head is pounding ,2.0
18548,thought twittering wa easy ,2.0
18549,i cant believe sarah leaves tomorrow  this means summer road trips yay,2.0
18550,worked to hard today for a friday thats alright ill make some slack time on monday  looking at going to the show anything good playing,0.0
18551,varicool  hey sue can u post the link so i can vote for harvey  ,0.0
18552,aplusk now we will know whether it is really you     ,0.0
18553, found a thirdparty driver for this ssd  gave this acer kid a new life ,0.0
18554,lunch break in my last half hour of the day cant leave have to wait for time clock ,2.0
18555,brain fart ,2.0
18556,chillin in the sun with the family thats fun ,0.0
18557,i have physics and chemistry theory papers tomorrow and my prep sucks   pray for me ppl,2.0
18558,i still believe in magic ,0.0
18559,why does it have to rain ,2.0
18560,arggg i miss everyone very muchhh esp my brother my girls and rrrr ,2.0
18561,rkartha talking of change so has hyd never been to pune but hyd of our old days was much better ,0.0
18562,undecided if i will be joining my first pictorial for a magazine ,2.0
18563,lunch draws near accepting breadrolltype suggestions  what kind of sandwich should i construct,0.0
18564,mcfreak aww  whats this about the soldier xx,2.0
18565,or maybe its me thats missable ,2.0
18566,i feel like ive lost my passion  ive loved art ever since i was a kid i was obsessed and dreamed of being an illustrator i currently go to art school but between having to deal with mental health issues taking multiple semesters off deciding to change my major and constantly feeling discouraged looking at other better and more creative peoples work idk what to do if its not for school i barely draw anymore i just dont have the energy and motivation i used to and my skills have suffered so much bc of it my family friends etc have always been supportive and encouraging and i just feel so guilty like im letting everyone down and wasting time and money honestly sometimes i wonder if i wouldve been better off just getting a regular job™️ and keeping art to the side ,3.0
18567,  crazy drunk danish people ,0.0
18568,everyone wants to be happy everyone wants to be entertained not me this is just a vent about how im unable to understand other people and how it contributes to my depressioni hate it when girls say they want a guy that makes them laugh is that what life is laughter and happiness is just blindness to reality people like laughing because its an escape from reality in all honesty i drop pretty smooth pick up lines i can make just about any girl laugh but i feel so fake doing it but thats what people want so thats what i give them its not just dating its everyone else too people want to laugh and feel good and be around people who are entertaining not me i feel better when im not laughing when im just being myself im on tiktok and im more ifunny literate than most i know what people find funny and whats entertaining but people are just lazy and want you to entertain them make them laugh and theyll love you as soon as you no longer entertain them they move on to someone else who makes them laugh what am i missing herei struggle to relate because i feel like theres got to be more to life than just being entertained maybe im the dumbass missing the boat and they all know something i dont but being happy just isnt really a goal of mine im ok w being depressed and not feeling like i have to laugh all the time im ok w my realism and seeing the world for what it is does anyone else feel like when they interact with other people those people just want to be entertained anyone else think society has too much emphasis on laughter being the purpose to life i just dont get it,3.0
18569,why dont i like talking to people i have some of the nicest people around me  i go to work and people are excited to see me and want to talk to me  i wish i could give that energy back but all i feel is angry  i have no idea why  i just wish it didnt bug me when people try to connect with me  i feel like im always stuck inside my head and ive been in this fog for sometime  any of you experience something similar,3.0
18570,working with aggressive dogs all day today all good dogs  just need the right direction ,0.0
18571,just talked my moms gotta love lavencia ,0.0
18572,zobonil  got what chrissy has   how are you doing,2.0
18573,just dropped off my hun for the remaining  of the avon walk  more miles to go im so proud of her she inspires me ,0.0
18574,stop letting anxiety limit your life some tips that can help  httpstcobkiotzlfop,2.0
18575,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
18576,rt taegibangtan 📍 open thread in case of an anxiety attack 📍,1.0
18577,im a horrible person this is my second year in college but some some reason i just cant do it every semester i start off strong with doing the work but once it hits that half way point i always just feel unmotivated to do anything i stop doing any work i failed all my classes the first year when ever my parents ask how im doing i say everything is fine i straight up lie to them and they think i passed every class in reality i had to retake a basic english class  times what the fuck is wrong with me i dont know if this is depression or if im just a stupid loser,3.0
18578,heymonday thanks for following  its a honor  will you come in paris soon ,0.0
18579,cupnoodles good luck  ,0.0
18580,my day is growse  thanks for asking paris,0.0
18581,just finished a series sad ending still tears are flowing good show ,0.0
18582,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
18583,lots of last minute errands on my last day in beantown ,2.0
18584,anticipating actual warm  degrees ,0.0
18585,im so alone hey guys im need someone to talk my life is so bad i dont want anymoreif you want to talk with me discord    eng or de only if possible,3.0
18586,had the worst day cried for hours i feel worthless i feel unlovable my boyfriend broke up with me  months ago and im still a mess i just realized yesterday that im extremely insecure because i feel that im just not good enough for a relationship that im not interesting enough to keep someone interested my first bf cheated on me ive been depressed for a long time i never killed myself because i always had hope that things will be better one day but as im reaching  im losing hope i wish i was another person,3.0
18587,the touch could not be restored because the firmware file is not compatible   bangs head on the desk  bangs again,2.0
18588,i dont want to function today but i probably should gah yesterday sucked and i miss alissa ,2.0
18589,is a mri a good idea ive been depressed over two years now with  suicide attempts committed over this timerecently my symptoms started to get worse again i have fainted last weekend and went to neurologist to see if everything is fine it is but i was proposed to do a mri to see if everything is really fine it costs quite a bit of money alongside with next visitis there any point of doing this isnt that just denial with extra stepsand if anything showed up what are the odds that it can help my situation in any way,3.0
18590, days till jbs album linesvines and trying times yay im sooo gonna buy it ,0.0
18591,babilou a week ever since the tinted windows concert ,2.0
18592,i feel im getting closer and closer to the end ive taken to staying up until  not cause i cant sleep but instead that i wish for tomorrow not to come every moment of every day i think of ending my own life not of a desire to die but to no longer live like this every day i feel less like a person i dont know if there is anything left for me,3.0
18593,bunker yes but its not working on hacktivated iphones  ,2.0
18594,im so hungry but i just cant eat the food in my house no one is home and its unbearable quarantine has stopped me from getting groceries that i can eat i have autism and i find myself oftentimes unable to eat any foods outside of a select few im just hungry i wish someone was here,3.0
18595,im falling hard tldr im severely depressed medication hopping to find something that doesnt make me worse and failing at life im just falling so hard i dont know if i can do anything i have severe anxiety and depression i usually hide it well though i pick at my skin until i bleed and pick out my hair thats about the only thing that keeps me sane and its not working anymore im going to therapy once a week im taking medication the last medication ive taken has caused a really bad reaction in mood im paranoid im anxious im irritated i feel like im in the worst mood ever i havent been able to take it consistently because it makes me so paranoid nothing works in two weeks but with a marked difference in mood it wasnt worth trying more when its making me worse my last several medications have made me worse from depersonalization episodes to panic attacks today i went in to my psych to talk about my medication she started off in a way that left me feeling defensive and hurt and not trusting her the last two medications have had side effects that left me down and out unable to function in normal life the way she worded everything felt like a personal attack i know i need the medication i know it but i cant tell if its the medication that is making me feel like i dont want to continue with her or if its something else im not one to shy away from looking for other care providers but ive pretty much run the gauntlet of people in my area small towns yayive just finally found someone who is taking my physical problems seriously im finally able to go to specialists and get something done about my physical ailments and that will help some that will give me less stress to figure out why i am so sicklyim a college student im so so close to graduation but i cant anymore i dont know what to do im an english major i read the same sentence over and over and over and over and i dont understand i cant force myself to understand i dont know why i dont know what changed before i was able to work through it but now i cant the hopping medications doesnt help either my depression is a giant black cloud that consumes and consumes and its all i can do to get up in the morning let alone do anything add into it the way my medications have been working and there goes any hope of staying on top of classwork of being able to read even things i want to read interesting articles books things i take pleasure inim so far behind in my classwork i dont know what to do im going to end up dropping out of college probably i wish i could have taken a medical leave of absence so i could have gone through this period and healed without the constant stress i have piled on top of me i would need to get a job but thats a different pressure one i can handle more effectively im just done ,3.0
18596,reggieblack i hope the weather is better on friday ,2.0
18597,is clueless on how to get to lucban quezon for tomorrows  pahiyas festival  ,2.0
18598,josieboy aww its me thats so sweet    p,0.0
18599,the hdd has just crashed    i am stupid,2.0
18600,rt paigebrittany im tweeting this so i can watch it whenever im sad ,2.0
18601,i hate dtm  poor rocky  faillllllllllll,2.0
18602,ddfreyne  is there a problem on moul forums  trouble navigating the last couple of days   quotie cant openquot no probs any other sites ,2.0
18603,i waited n was stressing for this shit still the fuckin same if you ask me ampamp no mms ,2.0
18604,got gum on my shoe ,2.0
18605,have some unresolved self hate and an entire bottle of wine,2.0
18606,good morning all today is a great day to be alive so i plan to maximize all my moments today so that not one is wasted on the mediocre ,0.0
18607,mariamuae hope you have a great week too our week starts tomorrow thou so im having another lazy day today ,0.0
18608,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
18609,no all time low concert for me ,2.0
18610,hey guys check out my blog and for once comment no one ever comments ,2.0
18611,where is my lovely bones book did i lose it again ,2.0
18612,and all the other people here  twitter  great,0.0
18613,totally wishing me  ray j tonight  pshhh someone should come with me,2.0
18614,tired and have a headache today ,2.0
18615,arnteriksen morning by the way ,0.0
18616,these sad ass niggas gotta stalk my girl on twitter 🤢,1.0
18617,rootika and thanks macha ,0.0
18618,middleschool sweetheart i spent nearly half my life with left me  months ago and i cannot find a reason to go on we met in  grade started dating in  and im graduating from university this semester we just spent a month traveling europe together last may got back home i went to a summerlong  month internship  hours from home she left me through a text message two weeks into it    she gave me the most default basic reasons i can think of  were just not good together youre not good to me i drove home as soon as i got her message begged her to speak to me because it made absolutely no sense when i got back home at the end of the summer she even let me take her to a cabin for a night to try and see if she really felt this way had an amazing time all day let me kiss her and hold her and then when i dropped her off the next day never spoke to me again and has since blocked me on everything    about  of this story is missing and its just too long to tell i dont understand why she left me i dont understand how i was so easy to throw away after more than eight years of the deepest connection ive ever experienced with someone i dont understand why ive been removed from her life like i was a bad thing i dont understand any of it i havent enjoyed anything in the past eight months i drink frequently and try to stay high except recently because i have a drug test in march to start a career i no longer have a passion for    i just want to spend the money i have to go to europe and not come back every time ive tried moving on or dating i get ghosted  about  times so far in the past few months any time ive had sex its felt entirely meaningless and reminds me of how wonderful she was i have absolutely no motivation to go to class and havent for about two weeks and am so far behind that ill surely not graduate    ive got two jobs secured for when i graduate and have to quit one so money will never be an issue unless the economy collapses it brings me absolutely no feeling whatsoever to be in such a privileged position    i will never again see this girl that i love for the rest of my miserable life and it makes absolutely no sense to me why it happened going back through our texts everything was wonderful sex was the best it had ever been we were going to move in together this semester she just graduated with her masters    this is surely the most incoherent story ive ever told and im sorry for that theres truly no good way to convey so much im just tired of being told she wasnt the right one because i am absolutely positive she was we were unbelievably comfortable together got excited to see each other after eight years of being together tried new things all the time looked forward to the future we shared every single first  something i can literally never experience again with someone else i can never possibly have that again and that kills me    i dont want to get better if i find someone else which i wont thatll mean that surely our relationship meant nothing if we can just move on and be happy without each other how can you possibly stopping loving someone you actually loved    i literally havent had a single moment in the past eight months that hasnt been filled with thinking of her i miss her more than i care to be here anymore and i cannot live with the fact that she is likely with somebody else right now this isnt an experience any living thing should be forced to continue in,3.0
18619,yesss alcohol life is good again ,0.0
18620,secretmeeting awww  its his birthday ill get to that once im finished with this rubbish,0.0
18621,just ran some accela unit tests for the first time in about  years and they failed ,2.0
18622,soooo sleepyhad a great day in san antonio today gotta work tomorrow ,2.0
18623,veedievicious lol i want a corn cub ,0.0
18624,wonders where hell live now ,0.0
18625,  fire  ,0.0
18626,jonasbrothers i love you jonas are my life 	 this too good the new cd lines vines and trying time   ♥♥♥,0.0
18627,killaya omg yay  but rofl about your eyes being closed oh well lmao dude you met trent fucking reznor,0.0
18628,owwwwww  what a doozy of a headache   tablets later and it has only taken  off a slight edge ,2.0
18629,karlmageddon its been itching like this for two days straight its such a bitch i got a swallow sitting on a cherry blossom branch ,0.0
18630,take my love take my land take me where i cannot stand i dont care im still free you cant take the sky from me ,0.0
18631,i cry everyday i lock myself in my room everyday i sit down on my chair play music stare at the ceiling and just start cryingi feel like a total mess and failurei dont know what to do i dont even think im sadi dont know what i feel,3.0
18632,thisgirln ohsoshiny thanks for being my agentsproducersheffersapproversgroupies  ilulongtime,0.0
18633,ive lost i wish i wasnt this fucking useless i just cant win its actually over ,3.0
18634,finding nemo has such a sad beginning ,2.0
18635,justinbettman sounds fun but im leaving for oregon on the  ,2.0
18636,i think i broke my ubertwitter ,2.0
18637,tokiowie where the hell is your car at  or why dont you drive yet,2.0
18638,off to buy hubby a birthday present what do you buy a man who has everything  tired of buying cuban cigars every occasion ,2.0
18639,  its worse than this now ,2.0
18640,boocy i am doing well thank you ,0.0
18641,rt kieraplease half the time i dont even be knowing why im sad sadness just be slapping me in the face for no reason,0.0
18642,yummy home made cheese cake ,0.0
18643,eddieizzard wish i was there eddie  get away from this dang heat in az ,2.0
18644,im writing letters to our world vision children have you written yours do you have sponsored children ,0.0
18645,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
18646,sidraatif  coughcoughcough i t better be a touch screen phonei dont want an iphoneanything except for that puppy  ,0.0
18647,is having a duvet day with my mam amp sis needing the comfort ,0.0
18648,rant i had a streak of feeling awesome working out genuinely enjoying hanging out with friends being more open or going to being depressed af not even being depressed went to the doctor for an excuse note i had to get talking about how depressed i was and now i am depressed again and my mood and anxiety confidence keep jumping soo much it is unbearable fuck this stress hope it is over soon maybe it is the lack of sleep or the lack of energy that is caused by this being unhappy with yourself projects that onto others ugh sorry people,3.0
18649,i screamed at the why you sad idk nan molla part,0.0
18650,iheartvjl ,0.0
18651,jontymisra omgoodness whats your phone now lol but yeah oci store had a terrible launch  kind of upsetting,2.0
18652,✊️👍 ,2.0
18653,babamzungu i think they are called marabu or maribu or something with a ma and bu in it  ugly beasts they aretoxic puu love em,0.0
18654,back in germany fucking sad missing the sun missing quotmummy and daddyquot i think i want them back ,2.0
18655,i had a bad allergic to the sunscreen ive been using for the past two days im now covered head to toe in a rash fml im miserable ,2.0
18656,freecloud sorry for the replydm mixup ,0.0
18657,if nothing else a bad bitch loves him so hes good  life ,0.0
18658,peeeet as you should be ,0.0
18659,mitchelmusso june   will you be signing autographs at all then,0.0
18660,seriously can never sleep in ,2.0
18661,keutekrystal oh no that sucks i know how that feels ,2.0
18662,mariedigby have a nice trip i hope youll come here in the philippines soon ,0.0
18663,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues httpstcohjyuwjwsuh,2.0
18664,i dont feel like i belong anywhere and any place i think i still dont feel i belong i there it is so uncomfortable depression doesnt seem to ever rest,3.0
18665,sunburned and exhaustedi dont want to go to work ,2.0
18666,my feet are ouchy ,2.0
18667,customs are holding our container so some of our customers cant go camping for easter  boo to hm customs,2.0
18668, lmao i hope it works for you ,0.0
18669,its fn hot out here shit  i cant do bbqs  ,2.0
18670, ceva in genu am facut si eu ,2.0
18671,salazar i envy you for getting to spend the weekend with two fathers this is the first fathers day without mine ,2.0
18672,louiseinglis no doubt  but all i meant was i cant remember why  when it started  you are my  port of call and v cheap of course,0.0
18673,kingston rolls out  datatraveler  usb flash drive  via engadget i remember  thumbdrives ,0.0
18674,mumofsix well  after the  kids no  no  i won be temptedhonest ,0.0
18675,shibuyacomics mine just came from the store and im loving it ,0.0
18676,que anxiety ni que la chingada ponte a limpiar 😂😂😂😂,2.0
18677,bijouxboutique  congrats it is always lovely to sell something,0.0
18678,omj omj omj omj the jonas brother are playing some its about time songs on june  o o  ,0.0
18679,lynnsarcasm i miss you dude come back ,2.0
18680,my best friend left me i dont know where else to post this and im itching for a sense of relief somewhere at this pointmy boyfriend just broke up with me he told me that occasionally the depression and suicidal tendencies would take an emotional toll on our relationship something that ive been trying to avoid this entire time he cared for me so much and i cared for him he was my best friend someone to rely on someone to confide in i have an extremely hard time opening up to people im torn broken and devastated i barely have anybody to reach out to and i have so much work to do that i cant find time to see my friends right now im so stuck and i just need to put this out somewhere ,3.0
18681,alright had strawberry pop tarts for dinner at  am time for bed tweet you guys later thanks to my new followers ,0.0
18682,im getting anxiety from these elections  zimbabwedecides,2.0
18683,jsie we got out there and the cafe was booked solid lol doesnt matter  mum got some plants anyway ,0.0
18684,i want a nap but theres stuff on my bed guess i better move it cause i can barely keep my eyes open ,2.0
18685,ooh im lucky my internet has not screwed up yet cuz its so slow ,2.0
18686,any tips for depression im  f hello all im dealing with a lot i am a  year old female i live with my  year old boyfriend and my two kitties i was sexually assaulted twice once when i was  years old and again about six months ago ive dealt with anxiety for many years but just fell into a depression about a year ago with the help of marijuana and anti depressants i have been doing much better from last year but recently my boyfriend has had to spend every other week away for work this has sent me into a spiraling depression as he is my biggest supporter and the only one i feel i can talk to my best friend and i are not nearly as close as we used to be and my family does not understand what i go throughhave been through in the slightest i do attend therapy but i guess my question is what do you all do to cope last week i was suicidal it was all i could think about when my boyfriend was away i worked but that was all id come home and go to bed i could not eat i tried to go skating with friends but once i got there i felt like i made a big mistake nothing feels fun and most of these days i wished i was dead this week my boyfriend is home and i feel normal i dont understand how i can have such drastic changes when i fall into a depression it feels as though i have no control over my emotions or thoughts please help me in any way i will be going to therapy again this coming monday but any help would be appreciated ,3.0
18687,dance in the moonlight anybody i was diagnosed with depression three years ago and for the first time i can connect to a characteri would never say it out loud but i really relate to arther fleck in the new joker movie more than i care to admit its like i was shown a warped funhouse mirror and i didnt like what i saw reflected back thereand this is absolutely ignoring all the incel and we live in a society mumbo jumbo things like using comedy that constantly falls flat music playing in my head at all times living in borderline poverty feeling cast out from society and hurt for mental health things that i cant control losing myself in dreams of grandeur even acting them out in the privacy of my own room imagine being loved being praised by friends and family and strangers being at such a low place in your life all you can do it laughobviously im not going to kill anybody im a kid and cant squish a spider but the whole you get what you deserve bit that need to lash out at people who have hurt you thats a horrifying but an undeniably real fantasy you can see why im scared to tell anybody about this theyll think im crazyit just feels so bad that the first time i really feel represented on film is the fucking joker,3.0
18688,i just had another moment of clarity and anxiety attack usa is doomed under the trump regime  heading to the liquor cabinet after a valium,0.0
18689,rip farrah fawcett  more losses to cancer ,2.0
18690,leenuhvfc ughhshame  its like bootcamp or somethingive really hated the pain afterwardsit was baaaadd,2.0
18691,hello i hapy and wuestion how you sad why i happy you sad how lose happy😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄,3.0
18692,jansimpson nothing undeserved or worth whining about just sayin ,0.0
18693,kellymreynolds yepits been  weeks  a lady at our church is watching her,2.0
18694,for heartbroken people you are the most important person in my life and even if i am just a random guy to you i really care soo much about you you could do the worst things possible to me and i would forgive you but if theres one thing that i cant really forget is how you left me bleeding in pain by myself while you were just not giving a fuck about my feelings and the bond that i tought we had you were with someone else and that wasnt a problem for me i wouldve just wanted to be still in touch with you more like a close friend but instead you pushed me away and everytime i tried to reestablish our relationship u were there stabbing me again and again while i was just suffering because i couldnt hurt you now you come here trying to make me forget that immense pain the feeling of getting rejected the feeling of not being enough the feeling of being pushed away by the most important person in your life basically death you are here writing to me these worfs that for me now are meaningless but if you wrote me earlier these words were going to be my hope of getting out of this immense depression here i am standing while reading your worthless excuses i wouldve tried to give you the moon if you aske me but now im just seeing you as a stranger just like how you treated me in that period goodbye and goodluck with your life girl that i used to love,3.0
18695,i always get really excited when steal my kisses by ben harper comes on the ipodgreat songlove the beatboxing in the beginning ,0.0
18696, for sure my summer simply would not be complete without it ,0.0
18697,yay for days off starting in  min ,0.0
18698,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
18699,its a sad song that kinda make you wanna turn up 😂,2.0
18700,exit the appeal of suicide  via youtube,1.0
18701,my brother is being an asshole meanwhile im going to universal ,2.0
18702,is wondering why i am still finding blue paint in my hair ,2.0
18703,learning  accounting on ths miserable day in durban i nd a holiday ,2.0
18704,im scared of thunder storms  i want my boyyyyfrieeenddd ,2.0
18705,djam cant wait to dl ur new mix ,0.0
18706,alisher                      ,0.0
18707,mcticktock oh if i can come for free then i dont see why not ,0.0
18708,have lots to get done today garden photography then college homework all to be done before lunch  then out for afternoon with kids ,0.0
18709,staaavin really want some pizza amp breadsticks  damn,2.0
18710,ouelouelouel nice to hear that ,0.0
18711, every day i cant help but feeling like everything and everyone would be better off without me no matter what i do i feel like its the wrong choice its impossible to get out of bed some days because it feels like theres no point in trying to exist i cant plan or hope for a better future when i cant even picture myself alive long enough to get there ,3.0
18712,grantbenson well maybe you should get me pictures that are awesome and dominated by meeeeeeee ,0.0
18713,mitchelmusso have u ever been to dc i just got back from my  gade trip there  i will also be gettin your cd soonu rock mitchel,0.0
18714,is really tired ,2.0
18715,darrlingk ill cheer you right up when you get here   hi instigatorrrr lol,0.0
18716,i lost my pencil ,2.0
18717,adorkable i heardwhat a sad story ,2.0
18718,will be flying to ontario in  hourswill probably stay awakei will be there for a  dayscamping  the first time yayi am sleepy now ,2.0
18719,i am getting lots of followers ,0.0
18720,rt paulatics usscobblerguy nathanhrubin my husband needed brain surgery world class neurosurgeons removed a wedge of his skull used l,2.0
18721,cigarritos   dps   secsu 😜😜 me  deixa sad d,2.0
18722,do most widely used antidepressants contain histamine last year i was prescribed trazodone i read and heard good stuff about it  until when i tried it i got a bad case of stuffed nose that made my anxiety worsei like t know if most other antidepressants got histamine and if i might get the same side effect,3.0
18723, i will get you  new subs in  ready watch it go up ,0.0
18724,add seasonal depression to chronic depression and youve got yourself the ever popular cliché how could this get any worse starts storming theres nothing like feeling totally defeated in your mind and then walking outside only to  immediately get physically assaulted with stabby painful ice cold wind to make you want to go back to your bed and give up on everythingcounting down the weeks until i can just feel the regular level of shitty again,3.0
18725,emily won the quotmost outstanding singerquot in her choir todayyeah i made her leave the awards not thinking she won anything ,2.0
18726,rt thegalaxysedge theres nothing like having an anxiety attack while working out you get double the sweat and none of the fun,2.0
18727,brother is annoying ,2.0
18728,simplysomething okay ill be on after a shower ,0.0
18729,night all you twitter people have a good sleep everyone ,0.0
18730,doesnt feel good ,2.0
18731,man my boy uriah faber just lost ,2.0
18732,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
18733, words by end of day will i make it ,2.0
18734,thinks her hair is too short  httpplurkcompucnjh,2.0
18735,i hate when youre in the middle of a big social event and one second youre into it and smiling and laughing then you feel useless and like you dont belong because you have no friends and how no one is talking to you so they must not want you here how you feel so insecure in the outfit youre in and how everyone else passing by could look so much better and how you just hate the way your face looked in that group picture you just took so insecurities and depression starts to go on overdrive and all you can think about is sadness and feel so fucking sad you could cry and want to go home and go to sleep but you cant so you force a smile and people start to ask if youre tired and you reply with yeah im just tired because telling someone that youre having a mental fight with yourself is a lot more complicated to explain than how you feel,3.0
18736,rt brademarino i have an anxiety disorder but sure ill take two red bulls and a green tea latte to go,1.0
18737,rt septicnjh heres the suicide hotlines for your area please dont be afraid to call it your life matters ,1.0
18738,goin to os to chill then workkkin  mad lame gotta read this silly book for the quiz tomorow as wellsies,2.0
18739,graceblack i need money for that  maybe i have one in the freezer heres hoping,2.0
18740,going to the zoo today with a bunch of people and a baby who is too young to really care ,0.0
18741,its unfair that i have to live with this burden everyday and they can go about their lives without caring at the end of last july a boy i thought i liked had a party at my house i got drunker than i ever have in my life and i kind of got taken advantage of and i really think about it a lot how could this person that i thought was my friend let this happen to me why is it that everyone was mad at me for crying about it after it happened why did everyone tell me i was making a scene telling me i was making it a bigger deal than it really was ive carried this ever since it happened and i cant make it go away i cant stop thinking about itmy family is moving out of that house now and i found a pile of the boys shit that they all left at my house that night i threw it all away and it didnt make me feel any better it just made me wonder why i still had it it dragged up a lot of bad stuff for me and i cant get this off of my mind so im sharing it here now maybe this isnt the right place for this story and im sorry im sorry for a lot of things i dont even know who im the most mad at at i think its me i dont know why i let this happen to me,3.0
18742,talking with my girl tonight  hanging with my andrew tomorrow ,0.0
18743,having so much fun  ,0.0
18744,whats the point in living life if its not fair people say in response to people who say things arent fair that life isnt fair and that we have to accept it why why accept injustice and suffering why cant we choose death instead whats the point in living a life in a world so awful i have medicine i have therapy my memory is so bad i cant remember to take my medicine or when my appointments are i cant remember anything from last summer or the years before that things i used to do every day are lost to me soon the fall will be gone after a while everything i know will be gone then the emotions i havent lost will go too until all that i am is exhaustion from this day and dread about the next day i self harmed today for the first time in a long time cutting and burning feel good even if they sting for a while after theyre the only solid things i can put between now and the next day so i dont feel like work is all i am i have so many projects over due that i can never get caught up the work on them is all consuming and the memoriesfeelings of slaving away on my work last so much more longer than anything else in my head the things i do for entertainment dont help anymore they last so little compared to my work i cant put enough time things inbetween my work days i destroy my house my possessions when im mad what does it matter i wont remember anywaybut what happens when i cant even remember hurting myself from the day before ill have to make scars that last a lot longer theni dont know what to do other than this,3.0
18745,does not want to go to school ,2.0
18746,says sana yung mga galing sa infected countries eh magselfquarantine muna bago pumasok sa june   ,2.0
18747,just something i wrote i sit by myself and think of how peaceful the loneliness is i think of all the loves that i lost and why i lost them is it because im too cold with little room for emotion or humor it could be the fact that i can never seem to find amusement in anything i see the social life of my peers and to them it seems so simple to find happiness together but for me its incomprehensible i go out i see people and i can tell that they notice my lack of interest so they meet me with equal disappointment we are all disappointed in me disappointed that i cant feel or laugh or enjoy our time together with out faking it in some way god knows i try to be the person that i know i am but im sick i lost something and im desperately trying to find it a piece of me is missing the most important piece which i believe to be my soul my reason for existence my passion my desire to achieve greatness in something i walk the earth like an empty vessel seemingly purposeless i go to work and i come home only to repeat this the next day i feel as though im wasting my life but i dont know what else to do i dont want to do anything on my days off i feel so lost because i have time to myself and cant find anything worth doing so i sit alone and i wonder what can i do to be happy nothing ever comes to mind so i wait and ive been waiting now for years i dont think this is my fault there is no lack of trying on my part i believe i am trapped against my will a prisoner to my own mind and body i feel hopeless every day as if this suffering will never end there is sadness in this world and then there is depression i am truly depressed ,3.0
18748,freddurst i need a way to contact you about the youtube kid wthe lb shoutout i wanna hook the kid up and i think you can help ,0.0
18749,yudith and adrian just picked up reasonwhy  jack ,0.0
18750,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
18751,i feel like death is calling me i dont even know were to startfrom being someone who was totally energetic a few years back ive fallen so muchim deep in depression and its now physically affecting me my bro is termally sick and i have just recently beaten a serious infections i dont even know if feeling sick is due to the drugs i had to use to cure my illness or the stress from dealing with someone close to me being sickive dealt with this stress and axiety for more than  months and recently ive become physically ill i cant hamdle this anmore it feels like imnot meantto be here anymore i dont feel like myself and havent for a really long time,3.0
18752,lolmonsters um i dont think we can do ours tomorrow laura aint gonna be theremarisa has the stuff and dont have a phone number ,2.0
18753,fuck text etiquette this is not on i text the pastor of my church  days ago thursday afternoon  he should know me very well as i am an honest and open personheres the texts•text hi name  i hope you are all ok  im depressed namehttpswwwnhsukconditionsclinicaldepressionsymptomsi havent felt this depressed in nearly   ive got most of the symptoms  its definitely moderate on the scale  ive felt like this for about a week  i started crying twice at church on sunday evening while talking to name after the servicesince the depression has come on the back of a feeling i had when i  prayed with name at mine  months back  i fear the depression is here to stay  ive told my mum and she is being supportive  and today i rang the place mental health team at place to ask for an appointment to see my psychiatrist  they are going to send me an appointment in the postobviously im worried at what the future holds for me  but not to much  and at the moment im ok in it all  i just hope the depression doesnt become severethanks for reading  •text this descent into moderate depression has taken place over the last  weeks  •no fucking response   no fucking response  the two other people i text that day to explain my situation  responded within minutes minutes  because they obviously care about me•look i know something serious could have happened  but i would surely have been told by now  yes i know he could have forgotten  ive factored that all inbut four fuckin days  this is emblematic of the manpastor  im pretty pissed about thisand no im not fuckin chasing after him  ive done to much of that alreadypeople just dont fuckin care  enough to show due diligence with those that they seem to pretend to care forand that pisses me off  ••,3.0
18754,feeling down i can tell my depression has been worsening recently as i go from totally normal to sobbing in an instant over the smallest or most random things it could be a commercial for dog adoptions or even a regular joke that made all the time that suddenly cant help but take seriously i dont know if anyone else experiences this but its how i can tell when my depression is worsening i try my best to cope but it seems like letting myself just cry real hard and then moving on is the best coping mechanism i just wish it didnt effect my daily life so much,3.0
18755,zokathepuppy congratulations ,0.0
18756,does anyone else feel more depressed during the summer sunny days and warm weather seem to most often be associated with happiness but i think it makes my depression and anxiety worse im pretty active and busy but i have this constant feeling that i need to be doing something during the summer whether its being on some lavish vacation or doing other activities with friends i get away a decent amount and im never comfortable with too much free time going on social media and seeing tons of people out and about on vacations and doing their various activities while im either stuck at work or at home with nothing to do makes me go mental i enjoy the rain and the winter because i feel happy sitting inside doing nothing but once summer comes around i get ridiculously stressed about making weekend plans and i have this nonstop anxiety that im not living my life fully society seems to link the rain and winter with depression but for me i seem to suffer from the opposite,3.0
18757,tsarnick for some reason that put quotholiday in cambodiaquot in my head  are you drinking da jack daniels,0.0
18758,dafinestdiva why u aint tell me u were goin to the cookout mad face ,2.0
18759,bedellysandwich i know i miss ty too ,2.0
18760,if there is wi fi signal at coles ill be able to twitter from work ,0.0
18761,jeanbeanirene niceraq  no   the girl in my age division that won did her  in  ooquot  i get  free jamba for running tho,2.0
18762,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
18763,with the wives made the best brunch in  ,0.0
18764,we the kings wo oh ohahhh ,0.0
18765,boys wow i need a new phone  keyboardtoosmall fuckyousprintrant,2.0
18766,dunkgreener tooo late already went brown  aha oh well brown will go good with a tan ,2.0
18767,out in  no cash for me ,2.0
18768,best party ever yesterday  cedar point allllll day today ,0.0
18769,abbefied yes it wont even reload my old pic ,2.0
18770, and experiencing serious depression for the first time how do you do it having a difficult time even getting out of bed  how do you keep going until it passes,3.0
18771,lopilopi thanks  what time is it are any of you going,0.0
18772,priddycreations very cool i showed mine yesterday ,0.0
18773,not sure what to do with my life i just failed my semester despite working really hard at it still live with parents and im currently unemployed im  and im not sure what i feel is depression or no but i really feel hopeless and even people around me started pulling away and ignoring my existence more and more i feel like i cant have or get anything done i work hard but i get nothing in return and its really getting to the point of suicidal thoughts what should i do ,3.0
18774,is going to bed to hve a nice prefailure dream about forgetting the exam or turning up nuddie or something night ,0.0
18775,dalekwidow twas a smiley face only viewable on iphone or ipod touch ,0.0
18776,too full from mexicano ,2.0
18777,everything is worthless life is dull and gray everything that will be has been everything will be forgotten whats the point of living if one feels miserable for all of it isnt it enough to say that im tired and want no part of it i wouldnt wish these feelings on my worst enemy this overwhelming sense of dread and sadness is constant and exhausting im worthless i wish i could just stop existing,3.0
18778,sad noia,1.0
18779,climate change is a fucking nightmare and no one seems to care i live around the  parallel north thats pretty far north its midjanuary and it rained yesterday its raining water and the grass on the lawn is visible as the last bits of snow melt away never in my life would i have expected to see grass in january its supposed to be under almost a metre of snow its so warm and there are birds around and the grass is showing and everything feels so wrong its so fucked up to think that humans created so much pollution to cause so much damage on an entire fucking planet we are a cancer and there is no way to try and curb the fact that being alive is causing harm i can buy as many organic products as i can abstain from eating meat take a canvas bag to the supermarket but it will never make up for the contribution ive made personally to the detriment of an entire natural world just by existing the balance of nature is skewed irreparably and its our fault and sometimes i want to kill myself in an attempt to atone for the damage that weve done as a species and no one else seems to care beyond remarking on the fact that yes its unusual that its so warm this time of year every time i wake up and look out the window my heart breaks how anyone can bring more humans onto this despairing planet is unconscionable to me,3.0
18780,the hills finale tonight yah bye lc   we will miss u,2.0
18781,just canceled my rsvp for the my sisters keeper screening tonight  not feeling well ,2.0
18782,tokyodiamonds ur gonna grow it out i just want to color mine ,2.0
18783,it feels like the only option recently my only other friend left got a girlfriend and he never talks with me anymore i usually am stuck with no one to talk to in school and im too afraid to say anything to my crush i just come to school everyday and get made fun of for being a boy with long hair everyday my parents are yelling about something and it somehow always becomes my fault for playing fortnite because its the only place for me to run away i feel like id be much better off without the pain ,3.0
18784,bkmacdaddy haha lol  somebody else said the same thing,0.0
18785,i hate studying for exams but if i want to stay at the superexpensive school i am currently going to i guess i have to study hard ,2.0
18786,doemarley somebody actually told me that  lol,2.0
18787,still sittin in the er thats bad i gets no sympathy ,2.0
18788,yall know whats sad i havent received flowers since like high school 😩 sheesh,0.0
18789,im mentally broken c in recent months i have felt very empty and sad and many things torment me including thoughts about harming people killing i know that i am not crazy or a sociopath but i really do not know what to do to stop thinking and feel this way postscript i have never suffered abuse or things like that in fact i think i live a happy life but i dont know why this happens to me and i am afraid to tell you what i am living with my family,3.0
18790,perfect photo but i hate her boobs  ,2.0
18791,has your family always ignored your problem i think the hardest part of being depressed since i was a kid is how absolutely ignored i wasam by my family my parents split up when i was  and my father died when i was  my family completely sweeped it under the rug like i was supposed to be completely ok with it and it has never been a topic of discussion at home i walked around sad slumbered over quiet avoided eye contact and stared into the distance for years and years and no one ever assumed proper to ask if there is something wrong with me the only time they sent a psychologist my way was when they had to determine who i should live with after divorce my mother to this day seems absolutely oblivious to my sufferingi dont ever feel like telling them for they will propably assume im ungrateful and spoilt ive had everything they sent me to school fed me put clothes on my back what else could i possibly needi dont want to burden or blame anyone for what has happened but just i feel so abandoned,3.0
18792,rt communurse mum tweet incomingyou have absolutely no obligation to interact with strangers online who make you feel uncomfortable,1.0
18793,im miserable in my new town im on my tiny phone so please excuse the bad format and spellingso last summer my parents moved us to a new and smaller town because a sex offender moved next door he didnt do anything to us i lived in my old town for  years and had a decent amount of friends so when i found out we were moving i was highly against itmy parents moved us to a crummy house outside of a shitty rednecky hellhole town im a big city guy so i already hated iti cant do anything fun on the internet because its shitty so im constantly bored the land around our house is also bad the woods are small and bland so i cant walk around in it without getting bored i find myself spending most of my time playing solo video games while listening to storytime youtubers the only salvation i have is on fridays when i go to my grandparents house which is awesome but i always get sad there too knowing im going to have to go back to my crummy homenow let me talk about the school most of the kids there are dirty redneck assholes the whole school reeks of cow shit and the bathroom has dip spit everywhere some of the hicks try to make me chew dip as well im not interested in being friends with anyone there because of how terrible they are they walk around with rebel flags i live in a union state and are super loud my mom keeps trying to get me to make friends but she doesnt understand that i simply dont want to i believe she keeps trying to make me because i was super extroverted at my old town and that im just trying to be contrary there are a few kids here who i think would be good friends but im simply to awkward now to talk to themim sad because i was kind of excited for high school at my old school having fun with my friends and stuff like that but now im just a weird loser who sits in the bathroom stalls during lunch sorry again for the bad format and grammar,3.0
18794, i hate people sometimes andi dont want to as i want to treat people how i want to be treated,0.0
18795,im so excited that i get to watch randomrab play this weekend  im going to give him the biggest hug ever  ,0.0
18796,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
18797,ingridholliday you cant ask to get any sweeter remember its not miracle monday ,0.0
18798,new to twitter soon will have friends ,0.0
18799,adrianwuzlike we could freaking walk to amp from there ,0.0
18800,updated her friendster accountanswered comments wolla almost finished ,0.0
18801,on my campus ,0.0
18802,invest in gold and land my friends and you will come out on top ,0.0
18803,what would be your ultimate depression setup room mine would be in my room all dark very cold   i would have a nice big screen tv with  switch conntected and a roku stick for streaming  i would have a refrigerator with beer and alcohol next to my bed on right side  i would have a toliet on the left side of my bedthe only time i would have to get up is if i order groceries or uber eatsdoordash,3.0
18804,hes leaving ,2.0
18805,kelseyyxbby hey  i have something important to tell you ,0.0
18806,chillin wunna talk to bowwow ,2.0
18807,johannasmiles lmao nice one i shouldve done that  clear my mind and everything,0.0
18808,hi tweeps damned agoraphobia took kids to park barely fought off tears until i could drag them away via mcds drivethru crap mother ,2.0
18809,christophermoy i miss you ,2.0
18810,im still really colddddd  watching  i love everybody in the movie except mileys character,2.0
18811, and ill be there cant wait to go jump around ,0.0
18812, i sure hope to soon new album is underway so hopefully after that  spread the word mmmmkay,0.0
18813,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
18814,ill be designing all day mm and night lol ,0.0
18815,mayleesgarden i love lemongrass that looks lovely ,0.0
18816,work tonight too cold to be outside ,2.0
18817, nope i cant vote either the webcite hates me ,2.0
18818,fuck my life val will kill me if she finds out im till awake ugh i wanna sleep ,2.0
18819,how do you even hold on to motivation and how do you concentrate on what you need to do when it gets really really bad to the point that it is crippling you cue streams of consciousness and oversharing that i will most likely immediately regrethi so this is like my first actual post on reddit after lurking for like a year around here i decided to make my first post because i just need help and advice so badly thank ueverythings become so incredibly awful to the point where its literally crippling me i had an episode like this as  in me missing school quite a bit for mental health days when it got that bad  a little more than a year ago but it didnt last as this one is right now and at least i was eventually able to study for my exams and catch up with what i missed and was able to understand it and in basically a month i  have ap exams and sats and my grades have gone down the shitter bc ive missed so much school bc i am so depressed and unable to get out of bed and unable to find motivation and unable to concentrate on anything and unable to remember little basic things i cant function like a normal human being anymore all i just want is the freaking motivation to be able to just finish at least one thing one thing that i need to do for school ive been depressed for the longest time but at least i used to be so motivated and hardworking and i wish i could just possess at least a fraction of the work ethic i used to have and the mental capacity so that it wouldnt take me  hours to bring myself to start something and another  to finish it im not even exaggerating i literally envy my classmates for not being the way i am for literally functioning like a normal freaking human being and carrying out simple to complex daily tasks that i cant even myself i literally dont want to be like this like i feel like i used to have so much potential and so much room for growth i used to be so studious and a perfectionist and ahead of the game and all of that was fucking stripped from me because my depression has gotten so bad mostly because of my fucking father and he fucking knows im suffering and he doesnt even give a flying fuck about me and keeps doing what hes doing knowing that its literally contributing to me fucking suffering and rotting from within i hate that ive gotten to this point and i so badly wish i wasnt i am so scared for this last quarter of school my grades are slipping and im so behind in my important classes because of how often i have been missing school bc of my lack of motivation and concentration i have my ap exams which im probably fail  out of the  even though last year i literally got a  on one because at least i was still functioning like a normal human being and able to study for like at least  minutes before getting distracted or being hit with existential dread i have my sats in may and im considering pushing it to june because i am scared and i am scared that i wont be able to bring myself to study and that i will fail miserably even though i know i shouldnt and i wouldnt if i werent like this and i have to do really good on these because im in my junior year and i still want to go to a really good college even though i fear that if i cant help myself now or get the help that i need that i wouldnt be able to handle it  and because i fucking need to get out of this house and i need all the scholarships i can get because for all i know my dad most likely wont even pay for my college anymore because thats how bad things have gotten between us and between my family i sometimes want to freaking drop out of school which wouldnt be a surprise to some because of all the school ive been missing but if i drop out where will i go in life i cant stay in this house any longer that i have to if i do it might just kill me its already crippling me and having me rot from within how the heck am i supposed to bring myself to start my work especially for school and exams coming up how do i keep that motivation how do i stay focused and not take several hours to finish one thinghow do u guys get by day to day especially when it gets to this point bc i cant do it anymore most people dont understand and i wish i could one of those people because i would give anything to be able to do something so simple it is so simple yet so hard for me to do im sorry for the really long streams of consciousness and if something i wrote doesnt make sense its  and i havent slept because it took me  longer than it should have to study for some freaking essay prompts i really appreciate it if u read this whole post and im genuinely asking for advice on these questions thank you,3.0
18820,charlieskies do you like me ,0.0
18821,watching what women want just cried a little ,2.0
18822,theres some weird noises occuring outside my window the lights went outhiding in the closet ,2.0
18823,watching brandon play games ,2.0
18824,good morning  three things to say let it rock,0.0
18825,i hear youre on the cover of next months advocate  congrats  perezhilton,0.0
18826,i suck thats just it really im just a pathetic attempt at a human being,3.0
18827,me and baybehhh at dmv we runnin errands todaaay then i got work  fml ,2.0
18828,faffaholic its a generous  tho i think itd b huge on your lovely slim frame ,2.0
18829,frannis wow my ninja at least youll be ready for worship leader school after chaha  pastor francis rrrrrrrrigor,0.0
18830,shhhhquitely nowcome see i found a hole in the fence  rolly howell showed you gt  httpbudurlcomtetq,0.0
18831, i was finishing a show gotta put away laundry and dress my bed then im gone ,0.0
18832,mrskutcher   oh demi shes just beautiful ,0.0
18833,lolage  looks like you always have chocolate with you huh hehehhee give me just a piece please p,0.0
18834,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
18835,they dont make quotupallnightquot like they used to   i feel really really tired,2.0
18836,just called chris to figure out when he is coming back up tomo cos i have the key and im going to laporte he said he misses me awh  ,0.0
18837,been up since  and feels really sick ,2.0
18838,jimanning thanks for being a happy customer ,0.0
18839,sun is shining almost weekend life is great ,0.0
18840,ashleeadams mail them over before you leave ,0.0
18841,   yay im excited for it and up and cloudy with a chance of meatballs ,0.0
18842,just got home from a friends wedding just a reminder of how lonely i amboohoo  ,2.0
18843,why is school and work more important than my mental health i deal with depression and anxiety and hate talking about it to my mum sorry americans im british its a difficult thing to talk to her about because she always sees it as me making an excuse to not do certain things i remember one time she forced me to get out of bed for being lazy despite being kept up from worry and stress and that it was a saturday anyway i remember i was talking to her about school and how it affects my mental health and that i wish i could maybe take a day or two off she said no i asked her if i had to choose between my mental wellbeing and school work which she said yes i hate that the fact that most people are supposed to put schoolwork in front of their wellbeing because its deemed more important is horrid whenever i try to say i want to look after myself im always put down because im not doing good in school or not keeping up appearances i dont look okay because im not okay im not going to fake it for you,3.0
18844,ladida kk i hope i dont forget my whipped cream  alrighty happy movies here i come  oh maybe i should bring pizza vouchers ,0.0
18845,is celebrating my mum has got the all clear no more cancer ,0.0
18846,and ha i was right  it was made in  i knew that because im a chick ,0.0
18847,this might sound like a rich mans problem i am a very popular kid in my school i have many good friends but no best friend that makes me very sad not having a best friend i am always surrounded by friends yet i feel like very lonley on bojack he says a sentence that describes my exact feeling everybody loves you but nobody likes you and that is the lonliest feeling in the world i see my former friends from my former schools instagram account and they always seem to be having a blast and no worries while i lie in bed  of the time i have a cosiderably small grade and i dont think there is anyone that seems to me like a person i want to hang out with all the time i want that person i dont care if he isnt from my school as long as i get to see him in the video game life is strange the story goes around max and her best friend chloe i want a chloe,3.0
18848,beasy lol hope u have some condomssss ,0.0
18849,himynameisrose haha yayay  we shall see each other then ,0.0
18850, white amp dont ask how i know  ,2.0
18851,loves dicks drivein and her crewmates ,0.0
18852,wow castanonmari and bananasariguys still going at it loli wanna kno how many txts u spent when ur bill comes lol ,0.0
18853,if by accepting buddhism they stop being dalit by birth all should welcome their move towards buddhism but is it ,0.0
18854,i just wish i was physically attractive i hate how much your life is determined by genetics im not gonna say i would definitely not be depressed if i was attractive since theres always a chance but i think a lot of my issues stem from feeling like im ugly ive been lonely most of my life and it hurts to see attractive people at this point it feels like my thoughts constantly revolve around the fact that im single and i have a hard time accepting that i have never made an effort to date in my life because i just dont feel like i have the confidence for it im so unsure of myself and fuck acne and prematurely aging skin im  with the skin of a  year old how the fuck do i have so many lines on my face at this age ,3.0
18855,taratomes theres bound to be lots of that  but i reckon theres much more grim stirring by law firms,0.0
18856,btstwt tae sweetiei understand how u feel somehowbut u really have to be strong to stay healthybeing sad and o ,0.0
18857,itsjustmenicki u always make me feel better its the least i can do ,0.0
18858,sabbypar congratulations  o madaling mangspoil ha ,0.0
18859,christopherr bummer by apple on that part not really an upgrade just a change of style for the notsomacbookpros  fb,2.0
18860,advice within the past  months i have lost  family members my moods go up and down each day which certainly means something is up i want to seek help but people give limited resources,3.0
18861,nellyofthewind mines filled with advil the mind wont work on callind derek and kyle on msn ,2.0
18862,rt salakito you know niggas was doing whole crack before this right like full crack httpstcobupkfkfhwg,0.0
18863,excellent article what if mental health first aid were as widespread as cpr new york citys planning to do it httpstcofqvfpweffe,1.0
18864,msspark yay ive seen that yoga mat move house twice now and its never gotten any floor time that wasnt under the bed were so lazy ,2.0
18865, kate i wanted u to sign me tshirt ,2.0
18866,jesslovespanic why you are so depressed today ,2.0
18867,why am i getting so angry i wake up i feel like shit and if i need to do something i instantly get angry and just wanna go away and be by myself and sleep,3.0
18868,vprincess hello a celebrity here hehe just kidding ,0.0
18869,so i met this guy ,0.0
18870,i hate headaches ,2.0
18871,serotonin syndrome and depression treatment i started taking prozac  fluoxetine and i experienced extreme tiredness dizziness nausea puking and even confusion i was sleeping for  hours a day on average i dont have high school after  so i have the time schedule that allows me to sleep that much so my doctor started me on effexor venlaflaxine  and the symptoms got even worse puking more often nausea sweating at room temperature confusion blurry vision the only thing that didnt continue was tiredness and the sleeping so getting to my question what are the treatment options for someone with serotonin syndrome and depression it appears that ssris are out of the question for treatment options,3.0
18872,mitchelmusso hey whats up  ,0.0
18873, i want to die i want to take my own life forever shes trying to get me to do a duet ,2.0
18874,  iz okay cuz we luv yu ,0.0
18875, awkays thats good then idk what the go is i missed the fued  but i hate merrick and rosso so totes on kyles side ,2.0
18876,its june  where is my new iphone os i hope were not waiting for those goddamn west coasters or worse yet  tomorrow morning ,2.0
18877,yay home time time to change profile background ,0.0
18878,listnin  trivium shogun  not doin much else gotta tummy ache  o wells gotta rite n stuff yupp yupp well take their fucking heads,2.0
18879,i think everything is already sold out  no,2.0
18880,the anxiety effect  lockdown,1.0
18881,watching mtv movie awards  instead of updating twitter im updating my sister lol robert pattinson was so cute tonight,0.0
18882,i hate not knowing why i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when i was  thats almost  years ago and i still dont know why i am like this i have more than enough yet there are moments where i feel like theres no hope nor a bright future waiting for me i feel alone and abandoned even though i have friends who know that i am depressed and am like this sometimesi get so frustrated when i cant find out why i just cant be normal everything was alright about  hours ago but it just changes so quickly and hard that i almost feel suicidalim a fucking mess,3.0
18883,i have a really bad headache ,2.0
18884,mirchiwebgirl finally the work day is about to end log off from office and get stuck in traffic jamm again ,0.0
18885,mattylicious  wooooo i wish i was at the club with you all ,2.0
18886,desperate housewives catch up  x,0.0
18887,whatever ,0.0
18888,forgot about twitter what a great way to end a great night so happy  and not drunk wdf but atleast i got nobu in my belly,0.0
18889,jumped off the cliffs at the beachwater was frezzin  lol,2.0
18890,i finally have something to live for my life is better than its been in a really long time but i walk around with this constant feeling of dread because i feel like any second now its going to be ripped away from me im not sure why i feel like this but its constantly on my mind im in a really healthy relationship with someone who accepts everything about me and im not doing drugs like i used to ive actually been motivated and working on myself but i still feel so dead inside i feel like any happiness i have is short lived and im just waiting for the moment for everything to come crashing down,3.0
18891,i feel like my insides are on fire i dont know how im still standing i am miserable and every part of me is in painim just so tired and i dont know what to do with myselfi hate my life,3.0
18892,ldoeband if i was a few months older id totally be there ,2.0
18893,loves  ddlovato status right now ,0.0
18894,still sick i blame  for my voice being gone ,2.0
18895,juliakorol omg i follow diplo too   scared  reply him tho ,2.0
18896,insecurities fuck em i constantly feel like anyone i talk to at all or act like myself around is just trying to get me to shut upim tired of being disgusted of what i see in the mirrori just to have a friend of the opposite gender that i can cuddle with or hugnothing sexual about it id just like to cuddle with someone of the opposite sex i feel lonely and i honestly could just hug someone for like hours probably is that creepy i feel like itd come off as creepy,3.0
18897, awww ur scared dont be ,2.0
18898,would like to see if joes dancing skills are still up to parbring him another please ,0.0
18899,any advice  hey im going to be   in few weeks and this might sounds weird but you guys have any advice for me about what can go wrong with life in next few years ,3.0
18900,just promised that id do something knowing that i wont actually do it  yikes ,2.0
18901,apoorvsharma looks the same to me maybe its not updated here yet ,2.0
18902, thanks ,0.0
18903,rt steffijardin friends who suka together stay together meunnie  dungan rata dhai yawa ka dhai so kailangan synchronized sad dia,2.0
18904,getting ready to graduate ,0.0
18905,cynthiaoakes lol im glad i could cheer you up we miss you too  cant you just say fu to camp and come home ,2.0
18906, that question is perfect for you youll b a table leader  longand then question leader the future is yours ,0.0
18907,ghostpandarose too many for your liking i fear ,0.0
18908,nicolesparkle sadly i did not happen to be french as a child or as an adult ,0.0
18909,schooling sean about twitter i know less than i thought ,2.0
18910,kidzwithbugz chloe please tell us how are you so freaking cute you saved me from a sad day i love u so much ,0.0
18911,is looking forward to next week ,0.0
18912,adamtylerx awe me and jasminetafoya are on the phone filpping out  yes we would love a video d do you want me to message u here,0.0
18913,sheriffclarke realdonaldtrump it is sad i dont think she can continue any longer too proud to step down and make way for someone else,1.0
18914,deltachild if you go to silverstone im going to have to actually hate you ,2.0
18915,jamie just surprised me with a bouquet of peonies ahhhh so gorgeous ,0.0
18916,kleinjinx it seems like my inlaws are coming over easter we will have to meet another time ,2.0
18917,hi im not a new twitterer but with a new account here to restart ,0.0
18918,rt shassytricia my mental health is the core of my being ill choose that before anythingand i mean anything,2.0
18919,rt mtnmoxiegirl gratitude eliminates fear worry grief and depression and brings happiness clarity  compassion and peace of mind,1.0
18920,is lovin him like crazay  ooh yeah hehe,0.0
18921,shellypreston hello fairy lady  xxx,0.0
18922,field trip might be canceled for rain someone borrowed laptop cart and broke the eyetv i need a mexican mocha ,2.0
18923,relaxing and enjoying the weatheroh i love sundays ,0.0
18924,if tonight is gonna b anything like this afternoon were about to have an awesome time ,0.0
18925,cant really remember the last time i truly felt happy in life i sometimes just lie in bed at night for hours just trying to pin point where it this all started where it all went downhill ive been this way for as long as i can remember and i hate how much this has affected my life i feel like i couldve done anything been anybody i wanted to but all the negative thoughts and anxiety has held me back from reaching out and meeting new people and building relationships and it just keeps getting worse i dream of having these random spontaneous adventures to these beautiful exotic places like new zealand or norway just somewhere where the landscape is breathe taking and experiencing it with close friends i honestly kinda lost where i was going with this rant i guess you could call it that my train of thought really just doesnt want to work when im feeling like this my mind just starts jumping around to other negative thoughts like right now im thinking about my recent relationship and how i ended it because of many reasons one being that half way through the  month fling she said she didnt want anything serious which i thought i could handle but i fell in love anyways tried to hold back my feelings couldnt so i told her we should stop even if she wanted to be with me i still would have done the same thing i wouldnt want someone as amazing as her to be stuck with a guy who thinks about never waking up some mornings and the best part is shes dating another guy who sits right in front of me in my college class i get so pissed off because all i think about is them and i have to fight myself from breaking down i just imagine punching him straight in his face but i really dont know and everybody seems to like him idk i just really wish i could let go and just start fresh if you made it this far you deserve a round of applause because this will probably have a bunch of typos or grammer issues that im just to tired to go back and change thank you for listening i would type more im  just getting to tired and want to go to sleep to put my mind to rest,3.0
18926,nothing special on my bday ,2.0
18927,rt  my neck my back my anxiety attack,1.0
18928,back to work i miss the weekend already  ,0.0
18929,just found out she got pushed off a chair hit her head on a wheelbarrow last night i took a beating thank you vodka ,0.0
18930,eliiizabeth sure thing ,0.0
18931,in alanta three hour lay over ,2.0
18932,this shit is really starting to get old nearly  years im tired of it ,3.0
18933,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
18934,forgot ive got to learn a couple of methods maybe not so much time as i thought ,2.0
18935,fuck today everythings going to hell and i cant deal with it i havent cut in a year but im going to slice up also going to drink and take some clonazepam fuck everything i cant do anything right anyways,3.0
18936,bit lost just wanted to post to get it off my chest i guess i dont really know who i could open up to in real life because i dont understand how i feel myself i dont get it also i guess when im out and about with mates no one would really suspect whats going on in my brainanyone ever sorta just feel lost like no real feeling just here a huge shroud of negativity just hanging there stopping me from going out and actually doing something or being with the people i love being aroundi just dont really know how i even feel or what causes this feeling and thats the bit that really aggravates me i just wish there was something that i could do to get rid of it every good moment is accompanied with a nagging thought of this wont lasti wish i could open up about it to friends and family but after the feeling goes i think back and i just think that wasnt me until it returns again constantly it doesnt feel like me having these thoughtssorry for the rambly post just wanted to see if anyone else ever feels like this i guess,3.0
18937,heylaurenmack that is one lovely description  please tell me what it is so i dont make the mistake of attempting to smell it ,0.0
18938,rachelcarey great  u shoudda come,0.0
18939,its squirrel wars in the back garden  of them chasing each other  youngsters ,0.0
18940,yes im in one of those moods bare with me tweethearts ,0.0
18941,legalcookie aw  i am sorry but to be fair if youre going to say something like that to me im going to be snide p,2.0
18942,im at work in the furnace going friggin insane outta my mind crazy dumb bored oh well  more hours  go  i rather be in hawai ,2.0
18943,eating chocolate ,0.0
18944,lisaveronica are you doing a show and how long are you here for i want to meet you ,0.0
18945,two ramblings in one sorry in advance for any grammarspelling errors or if this isnt allowed  i miss having friends i miss having people i can text without policing everything i say or just being able to share a random thought or a minor accomplishment with i mainly save that sort of thing for my therapist now she isnt my friend but its the only place i can dump those thoughts id usually reserve for someone who was here i cant make friends that easily most people are in established cliques already not a bad thing but its hard to try to assimilate to those groups the people that have gone out of their way to talk to me have been friendly at least i dont exactly mesh with them well though but im not in any position to express that   ive been trying to work on my selfesteem and unhealthy habits but its very difficult ive tried looking for tips online but theyre all extremely vague i wish there was some sort of step by step guide to get over things like this that always worked the self esteem exercises seem hollow to me and usually i cant complete them without thinkingdoing something that defeats the purpose of the exercise in the first place a more specific one was tips for dealing with binge eating the first tip was develop a healthy relationship with food thats what im trying to do but itd really help if it was more specific  ,3.0
18946,im cold now ,2.0
18947,my anxiety is bad xd,2.0
18948,i well like this cycle of killing myself and not facing my fears is not gone end its stared when i was  i got depression because of school and had anxiety then after  of locking myself at home and just avoided seeing therapist cause i felt like a victim or i was too young i started get out side again and passed my secondary school india and joined college  after that i started hating going out side again its been  or  now already and i also had a nicotine and weed addition which i have not touched since  nowidk if that is a problem too like its been like  fucking years now depression fucked me hard i well like this cycle of killing myself and not facing my fears is not gone endim sorry for wasting ur time and that garbage english but i hope you help and sorry if its was too long i had to share this i will appreciate if you share you advise,3.0
18949,listening to permanent by david cook sorts fits my mood ,2.0
18950,did you build a panic room complete with bourbon  rb spinningdiscs goes out to girlpiper do i nee  ,0.0
18951,suicide prevention i think the problem with the suicide prevention system is the denial of suicide as a right of every human by snitching on everyone who says theyre suicidal you make it so that the only way to kill your self with a gunthe best method is to keep it to yourself once youve been identified as unstable you cant buy a gun you should be able to walk into a therapist spot have a convo and if you decide that you still want to sleep forever you can with a deagle i think the deagle is the best method because its easy to aim at yourself and its very powerful easier to aim than a shotty,3.0
18952,rt brentconner im                  so     fucking                       uglyand its                        💞💖💘💕,2.0
18953,i cut myself for the first time today i guess ive been doing worse recently than i thought i have every reason to be doing better if there were any logic or reason to all of this i wouldve first cut myself three years ago but i didnt it was just two quick cuts on my thigh not deep at all it was strange to see blood coming out of me but not feel it at first i wanted it to not make me feel better i was hoping it would sting and i would feel dumb and id be donebut it helped i dont know how i dont know why but it helped theres a dull ache under the bandage on my thigh and a little buzzing pain where i broke the skin i hate that it made me feel better not much better but a littlei dont know if ill do it again i normally have a slight phobia of needles and sharp objects i guess it just depends how the week goes i wish i could tell her that id done this i wish i could ask her for advice but if she knew id tried it i know shed only blame herselfi refuse to make my problems someone elses again im still a toxic dumpster fire of a person but i refuse to have gone through the last three years having learned nothing from my fucked up behaviori feel so tired as always i feel like im at the end of my story i wasnt every other time i felt this way i doubt i am now i close my eyes and imagine a future where she asks me to come with her and i follow her to the ends of the earth in my dreams we can be happy i know though that every day that goes by brings me closer to confronting the fact that shell leave confronting the fact that my dreams are so out of touch with reality i just desperately want a future where i can lay in bed with her at night and tell her that im happy with heri know this isnt to be so ill go on living for reasons i havent been sure of in years but for now i can imagine that our story will end that way for now ill dream,3.0
18954,need some advice i have always had trouble with depression and anxiety my now ex girlfriend was there with me and stuck through it all and about a month ago we broke up cause she was going through some weird phase but now we are trying to work things out and stuff and tonight i got her a gift and i got her favorite roses only to see her texting another guy and hes calling her beautiful and all this stuff so is it even worth putting in effort im starting to hit a spiral again and i havent felt this depressed for about a year i dont want to hurt myself again but i really love her,3.0
18955,what do you do when you dont recognize yourself the last few months ive been thinking so much about who i am or at least who i thought i was ive gone  years being a borderline overconfident person with big aspirations but knowing that i can do anything i put my mind to but here i am drowning in debt taking way too long with my degree and still not done all of my relationships or dates turn to shit in one way or another all while all of my friends are moving on and starting their lives but im justheredepression hit for the first time this year and i stopped going to work lost my job distanced myself from all of my friends and the guy i liked dropped me i just feel like such a failure and im so alone this doesnt feel like me i dont recognize myself and i hate who i am right now how can i be the guy i thought i was when my life is such a sad jokehow do you go from believing in yourself so strongly to laying there at night reminding yourself of every reason you hate yourself thinking about every way that youre a loser reliving every time youve disappointed yourself and the people around youthe scariest part is what if this has always been who i am what if this person i hate so much is the real me i dont know if i can cope with that,3.0
18956,geography is boring as fuck ,0.0
18957, hallo ,0.0
18958,😞,0.0
18959,richcowling when you mention slimming world i cant help thinking of that character in little britain ,0.0
18960,exercise making depression worse does anyone who struggles with depression feel much worse right after exercise but then later like the next day feels better than they did before exercise,3.0
18961,gettin thangs together so we can head to san antonio i wish i was goin to a spurs game  lol its all good,2.0
18962,karabisel happy bday may the lord have mercy on you and you grow up to be like your mom jk lol ,0.0
18963,so ive had a chipped tooth for about a week now and im not getting it fixed till june  really bothersome too ,2.0
18964,doesnt know what to do tonight hmmm seen last house on the left last night  what a horrible film  x,2.0
18965,  missing this ball of fluff while hes at the vet with a cone around his neck ,2.0
18966,pokemon pinball  for gameboy colour trying to distact myself from reality i have lost most of my fauksian class now ,2.0
18967,the apps for twitter amp mygamertag are down on bebo  jack,2.0
18968,rt itsthatgirlher anxiety attacks yes they do exists,0.0
18969, im bored too yeees school on monday but ive just one week left and  years of school r done ,0.0
18970,rt rocksolidcross cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you  peter  ,2.0
18971,just got back from eating catfish across the lakeyum brought back some strawberry mentos for some of my fav tweeps ,0.0
18972,tonydeanxo aw  bummer man,2.0
18973,might go outside for a bit and sunbathe since ive spent most of the day revising ,2.0
18974,i need a weekend from my weekend  im tired ,2.0
18975,urgh horrible morning overslept internet problems dealing with contracts rushing to learn how to upload vids to our website ,2.0
18976,rt  depression is no fucking joke once you think youre good it comes and hits you outta nowhere and knocks you down right back,0.0
18977,rt rucev depression is like drowning except you can see everyone else around you breathing ,1.0
18978,there really isnt any reason to believe it gets better when youre a fundamentally broken person who has already wasted their youth i get the sentiment of the it gets better catchphrase but it didnt apply to people who have already wasted their livesi have no friends everyones first move is to say go out and make some but lets be honest no one is meeting their best friend at  thats way too late im not friends with anyone from elementary school or high school my college friends are all surfacelevel acquaintances i graduate in my with no hope of ever remedying this im supposed to go to law school and everyone will be too busy with their careers or spouses to have time for best friends and drinking on the weekends and throwing parties and spontaneously taking road trips and experimenting with drugs i was supposed to have done all of that alreadybut instead i invested everything into a guy who dumped me on our anniversary who told me he didnt have fun around me anymore who just wanted to hang out with his friends instead of me we have a house together share our money work together everything seemed so perfect we were supposed to get married but now theres nothing i was only going to law school because he told me to and i applied to ones near him and now we arent together i have nothinghe left me so recently and ive already exhausted everything tinder dates meeting people organically seeing friends going on adventures partying its all useless even when i meet people organically like how i met him even when that person thinks theres a spark or a real connection i feel nothing people ask if i want to travel or party or go on dates i feel nothing its not him no one is and even as a friend im not ready to speak to someone who doesnt smile like him laugh like him feel like him think like him its all so useless and on top of that im uglier now than i was when i started dating him so no one would want me i look deformed literally my face is destroyed and unable to ever get betterim participating in a study for people with bpd and depression theyre trying to figure out the differences between people with bpd and without bpd and see what could treat it the only solace i can take is knowing that at least im doing some good for the futureand im so broke i spent all my money buying him a car and groceries and gifts and paying rent and now i cant afford anything ive always wanted a dog dogs are the only thing on earth that can love you unconditionally and never leave but i dont even have the money to provide for one and it wouldnt be fair to adopt an animal i cant care forim just lost it feels like my options are to either feel this way forever or to die i guess i could accept living a second best life but that would be agonizing too have a second best husband and second best job with my second best look but i wouldnt marry someone i didnt love so id be alonei dont know i feel like shit im sorry for venting nobody likes relationship complaints,3.0
18979,what is ment to happen on this thing do we just chat like this to each other  ,2.0
18980,timrogers sorry tim  busy tomorrow ,2.0
18981,working on the weekend sure is not fun ,2.0
18982,almost at  songs scrobbled on lastfm  more to go  loving shiny toy guns version of major tom  so addictive,0.0
18983,this cold weather is really geting olddd ,2.0
18984,living with wasted years i wasted so many years after loosing my teenage years to depression being in the closet i have an open bite and cant speak properly iv had braces for  months now and they havent moved a millimeter i cant wake up without crying i just want to fucken kill myself i cant deal with this i had such amazing opportunities wasted im so isolated,3.0
18985,at the peoples economic summit have a great sunday ,0.0
18986,mornin way in  town to daii w caobzcant buy any cds tho ,2.0
18987,i will die by suicide all of my remaining family are dead once my mum is gone itll be time for me to followthere is literally nothing in this world for me im chronically depressed suffering from anxiety and body dysmorphiaive tried the doctors the pills even cbt and psycotherapy it doesnt work its all the same shite you see spouted on rgetmotivated fuck ive even studied psychology and barely passedive held down a job for years but its all i do now im just a salary man with no friends colleagues have told me pretty much explicitly that they dont want me going with them anywhere my friends ditched me as soon as i left school,3.0
18988,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
18989,all my clothes are super wrinkly ,2.0
18990,reckons the hsm musical by pioneer shs was really good well done to everyone who preformed it was amazing to watch ,0.0
18991,the bartender  ep wasnt going to serve me because i had on my cubs hat amp he said i looked like i was  ,2.0
18992,yeahhh semua selesaiii  tinggal liat bsk wish me luckkkkk guys,0.0
18993,working from home todayugh ,2.0
18994,got httpkobehotelcom woohoo in japan it is difficult to get such hotel domains ,0.0
18995,rt biryaniguy try dating your depression maybe it will leave you too 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥,1.0
18996,shes not into me what else is new this one hurts more than all the rest combined i really thought she saw past what everyone else never has and probably never will where to start i dont know i joined reddit today im a single guy not quite  but not yet  i have a disability without disclosing too much yet it is noticeable when i walk but perhaps most noticeable in my selfconfidence and selfesteemi went to college have a great job decent social circle some longterm friends healthy and supportive mother etc but no one really knows what its like to be me and the more they try to understand the more uncomfortable it makes me and them for that matteri often say of my biggest fears is dying alone and it seems likely after yet another rejection i guess all i wanted to say today was that i was recently talking to a girl someone i really thought was into me and she suddenly stopped coming around i suspect some of our mutual friends know what but noone will tell me like they are trying to spare my feelings or something anyway my bussy said id feel better saying it here and that some of you might actually care enough to comment or respond so feel freeim just completed bummed out like really low this time seriously now how much more rejection can one man take,3.0
18997,why do i have quotfreshmenquot stuck in my head ,2.0
18998,missnickyhilton follow me  and then maybe paris will too i already got britney spears following me  its awesome,0.0
18999,joerogan duncantrussell     httpstcotcqcuqyapa,2.0
19000,tired learning history and english ,2.0
19001,ap ddelphinidae im so sadthis is heartbreaking  it kills me what we prioritize over the lives of animals  rip baby,1.0
19002,the hills finale amp mtv movie awards ,0.0
19003,looking forward to new moon amp harry potter  half blood prince i sooo cant wait to see them shame new moon aint out til november ,2.0
19004,its funny how a conversation develops xd one minute you can be complete enemies the next lovers strange ,0.0
19005,ginggo ill dress up for the event ,0.0
19006,cientifiq  that sux yeah we are close im   min away from philly and  from nyc,2.0
19007,styra wow its sooo nice  listening to it now thanks g  ,0.0
19008,anyone ever crash from reddit has anyone else ever experienced depression due to your posts in reddit communities ive had a few times where i open up and try to share my story or ask questions in different t communities only to be met with harassment criticism and rejection its like i tried to talk to someone about my problems they slam the door in my face and boom here comes the downward spiral,3.0
19009,um idk if im the only one who saw it but someone posted that they were gonna shoot up a school and im scared  i have the screenshot but im worried for the kid does anyone know what i can do with the information if i can stop the shooting beforehand that would be great,3.0
19010,i know ill listen to some einst�rzende thats bound to cheer me up ,0.0
19011,stday dude that is eerie good song though and a good movie  ,0.0
19012,voting today ,0.0
19013,zoevermillion i think id beg you to let me tattoo you  ,0.0
19014,i am hopeless and extremely discouraged throwaway account of coursei am lost and i feel like im going to crack soon i am a college student with a loving family the issue is i am not happy and i have so much that makes life seem fucking terrible i have debt i work a full time dead end job that i makes college even more stressful and i suffer from really and anxietyworsening depression i have no idea what to do i am currently trying meds with out any solid luck i tried therapy but that wasnt working much since i have so much going on as my friends have graduated college debt free and great jobs i am still in it its the worse feeling knowing im lagging so far behind my social group people constantly tell me its not a big deal that doesnt work for me i feel like a loseri am trying so hard to get a better job that works around schooltag long with my degree like a internship i have interviewed several times but no one is taking me its the most discouraging thing i am trying improve and work toward a better outcome but i keep being set back i hate my life i literally wake up every day with disgust i call in sick often because i just cant stand having to go into worki often fantasize about killing myself the issue is my family i cant imagine leaving them and my girl friend behind that basically the only thing keeping me here at least i think so then again i dont have the courage to really go through with it its like winning the lottery in my eyes where one day im just relieved and no longer feel i have an idea how i would do it but like i said its just a fantasy people and friends will say that it gets better but thats just survivors bias in my opinion in my eyes i will always be a loser and lagging behind if i could restart my life i would much rather do that sucks that it will never happeni figured i would reach out to this community maybe you can all say something different to me that will helpthanks for the vent sorry if theres any errors as im on mobile,3.0
19015,watching south park on wwwsouthparkstudioscom check it out ,0.0
19016,rt  bdsm stands for bitch i am so d sadm,1.0
19017,thanks to ksatnews and doublepunching for the updates on tonight votes ,0.0
19018,everyday i think about how billie eilish is going on tour amp that i didnt get tickets to see her it makes me pretty sad,1.0
19019,sandylovesmiley haha me too im very very tired  pm ,0.0
19020,jordanrockk jayrockkk babygirl i miss you  no bueno we need to chillasap,2.0
19021,rt  is this taylor and her cats or no because im getting anxiety waiting for proof shes alive and if this is fake im ,2.0
19022,i have no more stuffed dog samples in my office ,2.0
19023, btw i am not a wimp ,2.0
19024,im just defeated im a failure i worked so hard and i have just failed im about to turn  and i dont see a future for myself i wanted to be a history professor but i found out that i cant now i just destroyed an interview with my local state departmenti just want everything to end i want my life to be over i worked so hard and i have nothing to show for it the bullet i will use is worth more than mei dont have a future i have nothing to live for,3.0
19025,aha  my retard brother just stuck sissors in a plug because he didnt think it would shock him it did it was really funny,0.0
19026, wuts up wifey  mann my pik jus like went away or  twitter trippin lol,0.0
19027,i dont feel ok rn i honestly just want to be mentally stable i wish my emotional baggage wasnt so heavy so i could stop making other people my emotional punching bag i dont want to drive the people i love away theres so much realization but i seem to be still stuck in the same place ,3.0
19028, im trying several drugs at work unfortunately even with drugs its usually a couple hrs of intense pain thanks though ,0.0
19029,no more sad songs is an underrated aestheticmtvhottest little mix,2.0
19030,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
19031,let it stop no more of this please ive had my fill for the last  years ive wanted to die since i was  the drugs dont work the therapy doesnt work cause the underlying problem is me unless i die the problem will remain i wish my parents hates me so i could die guilt free i wish everyone would give up on me so i can do finally rest alas i have to keep it up for another  years or so what keeps me going is the thought that one day i will kill myself and stop existing in this joke of a life,3.0
19032,i feel empty i cant feel myself happy or sad anymore i can have a super nice day and still i feel empty insidei dont like anything that i used to like anymore i cant find motivation to do anything for me lifes simply worthless since we are all going to die anyway and if thats the case why should i live,3.0
19033,off to school omg today is follow friday  excited ,0.0
19034,kimokomasada  hugs im sorry to hear that,2.0
19035,this is of course in no way a cry for help or plea for attention i just try to be transparent with my depression because thats,1.0
19036,moon hack le twitter de son fr�re mouahaha  ,0.0
19037,more than  msg of escitalopram hello everyone for quick background i have been taking this medication for about four and a half months since a major depressive episode in september although i have responded favourably with few lasting side effects i feel like i am just coasting and not really thrivinga few days ago on a particularly early morning before work i mistakenly took a double dose of my medication at first i was worried that i would feel nauseous and off balance and be unable to perform to my necessary standards at work in fact the opposite happened and i actually felt like i was in good mood for the first time  in months i am not able to see my doctor for a couple of weeks so in the meantime i thought i would ask if any of you have taken more than  mgs of escitalopram with success or what the next step may be when you found this dose of this medication to be lacking,3.0
19038,no one cares how i feel  ,2.0
19039,ughbad weather coming in internet being stupidly slow ,2.0
19040,sugarland singing quotlove shackquot is like slapping god in the face some of the  got really fat i can stand this  cmtmusicawards,2.0
19041,rt   ,1.0
19042,rt soapsindepthabc sending love to teenystweeting who recently opened up about her struggle with depression —gt ,1.0
19043,apathy i have just stopped caring about school grades whatever what is the difference between getting a c or an a if i have no future to work towards its all a waste of time im a waste of time honestly what is the point i cant do anything if i could die right now i would im just apathetic about everything,3.0
19044,rt biryaniguy try dating your depression maybe it will leave you too 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥,1.0
19045,officialas nawww  ily   i have a class tomorrow but only for an hour ,0.0
19046,twittwatash i havent any with noel for ages  why did he have to leave,2.0
19047,ajschokora i keep reading about this amazing new st vincent record wanna get it and tell me if its any good ,0.0
19048,virgin megastores are closing this is quite tragic ,2.0
19049,i am awake ,2.0
19050,nindot man sad mo absent kay maka save ug internet data,2.0
19051,yeey lampas na ng   twirls kakagaling lang sa wfp walk for a cause ,0.0
19052,palestinebat hahahaha i dont have money thats jus my problem and there are no jobs ,2.0
19053,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
19054, alot of fans are like thati dont hate you ,0.0
19055,sure miss chick thomay he rip ,2.0
19056,this aint gonna be easy today ,2.0
19057,djskream hey thats by my casa  ahhhh u can still enjoy it with some drinks ,0.0
19058,guys olease censor his name 😔 i know were all sad and we want to express it and tell him how we are here for him ,1.0
19059,at a kickback im drunk ,0.0
19060,oh my goodness do i see the sun arising and i havent been asleep at all tonight i cant seem to get rid of this stomach ache ,2.0
19061,had a great chat with sunnygradio about the  hour ben nevis challenge in august for mental health and have a heart for homeless project,1.0
19062,good morning tweeters  doing the internet and email with a nice cuppa tea ,0.0
19063,beezhing yishun but no the drilling was happening in my house jfc ,2.0
19064,slept great on the road trip but now that im home im back to my usual amount ,2.0
19065,working at  tomorrow  dont wanna hates sundays,2.0
19066,rt  update cold n so sad,2.0
19067,so practical question  how is it possible to save money without anything to live for saving money feels impossible the short term splurges to feel better become common place people usually have goals they want to save for i feel with chronic depression in the way i dont want to save long term for anything and i have never been able to last very long those whom are successfully saving how are you achieving it share your secrets with the gang,3.0
19068,miketually chickens you have chickens damn and jealous we want chickens but covenant on the house prohibits them ,2.0
19069,had the most amazing weekend to bad it had to end  but i still get to see dane cook tomorrow ,2.0
19070,stewartkris  just one thing love your profile picture ,0.0
19071,oooh i just changed my twitter to match my lj how cool am i ,0.0
19072,just cleaned my ears ,0.0
19073,quoti guess karma is congagiousquot earl ,0.0
19074,wjsalls please dont send the snow to us in maine  we got enough last winter  ,0.0
19075,alannahcoupar he clearly does  x x x,2.0
19076,heartbrake ,2.0
19077,good morning the girls barely made their buses  its the last week of school  now back to work  ,0.0
19078,different type of depression dear redditit have been a few days since i been diagnosed by my psychologist that i have a different form of mental depression mood disorder i never knew i have such thing before as i lived most of my life with extreme ups and downs from the conflicts between my parents and other personal choices that later became big regrets to cap it off ive broke up with my gf who faced the same challenges like me and it been hard without her by my side to express how i am feelingnevertheless i wrote this post today is to ask many of you guys who are living with or formerly supressedovercame what is mood disorder is it devasting for your life and how did you manage to cope or lives by with ityoghurt ,3.0
19079,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,2.0
19080,i had a  week streak of not being unhappy it ended yesterday but the good news is i get to relapse on all my bad habits now,3.0
19081, womp womp ,2.0
19082,cooked sausages and curry sauce  the sausages in the grill set off the smoke detector  i pressed its button  didn stop ,2.0
19083,not gonna be able to make it  ladies  gotta be up mad early in the amugh,2.0
19084,im sad we live in a world where it is a compliment to look malnourished ,0.0
19085,literally just typed in quottwottercomquot thats a sure sign its time for bed on the upsidegot the new song mwahahaha ,0.0
19086,thank yoooouuuu jasminetafoya and emilylovesglee  i love you ladys ,0.0
19087,im finally on here again because dave is making me  ,2.0
19088,kayelovely psim nothing like any other guy that u know ,0.0
19089,erniehalter you weree soooo goood last night with josh hoge soo glad you were there book all ages venues ,0.0
19090,i guess waking up  pm isnt the best idea ive ever had guilt is eating me up still too afraid to talk to katu ,2.0
19091,worried about a friend looking for advice i am worried for a friend i asked for advice on the  since that is how i know him but i am looking for another perspective the story is there but long story short he hasnt been around in months after an argument at a bar with our friends and has been completely mia other than social media if he really is suicidal or deeply depressed then what should i do i am afraid if i reach out to him it will open old wounds or make him feel uncomfortable bc we were never super close but this is eating away at me,3.0
19092,love being out of the house and being with friends ,0.0
19093,raoulluescher nar not today dnf today strong side winds and flat legs after having a few days of sick dont work when its the gutter ,2.0
19094,i have a crush on my best friend who uses me so im a gay teen  years old and im that quiet kid who sits in the back and does his work i have a few friends but most of them are the ill hang out with you until my actual friends are available type of friends i hate that aspect of them but i enjoy the company one of these kids his name is ray is quiet special to me idk why but i just feel u can trust him with everything except that one thing you know the whos your crush question main reason being its him i wanna tell him but ik for a fact hes straight also sometimes he blocks me on all social media and i am quite a paranoid person so i get all these doubts in my head like what did i do wrong  did he find out i like him  i knew i wasnt good enough i cant tell if its cuz i text too much or that im too annoying but he doesnt tell me which leads to doubts which leads to being depressed thinking im not good enough and ik some people will say why would you love someone like that but ill say what ive said my whole lifeidont control my feelings so yeah i know its a kinda petty reason to be depressed but its been like this for three years and it hasnt stopped i dont know what to do with my life rn tbh ,3.0
19095,eatting breakfast wit djredzflyyseni im so jealous u goin to ac without me my ass will be  work ,2.0
19096,and chace crawford ,0.0
19097,we cry  the script  seeing them live next sat when they open for take that cant wait ,0.0
19098,carolynpeck go fever   we gotta beat minnesota after heartbreaking  loss last night to atlanta,0.0
19099,listo enlazado facebook y twitter ,0.0
19100,jeanettekc haha yes but i never was risk averse lol and i love making nobheads angry ,0.0
19101,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
19102,listening to londrelle helped me today im not sure who this will actually help but i fell upon some meditative podcasts by the artist londrelle today theyre available on spotify theyre only  minutes long or so for some reason his take on depression and fighting your own demons made me feel better today i hope it helps someone out there too,3.0
19103,vindicated geez bonnie sho much pweettierr then youu  i drank soo much beer l peterr is  ,0.0
19104,was just on the phone to veganmercedes  im too poor to hang out today ,2.0
19105,my mum and dad r goin  c girls aloud tommorow in a private box at  and not takin me so unfair ,2.0
19106,depression brain chemicals or circumstances i am in the midst of a pretty severe depressive episode and have been crying every day for about  weeks my meds seem to be only helping marginally so ive started researching other drugs like magic mushrooms and ketamine not sure where i would get those but its worth looking into am i wasting my time with drugs my friends and family think my job is whats making me depressed and are urging me to find a new one that this will be the fix i hate my current job thoughts ,3.0
19107,really does not want to go work when its this  hot outside ,2.0
19108,sheeradjafar zurairi another awwww from me too its nice to find guys who arent afraid to admit that ,0.0
19109,i have nowhere else to turn ive lost the biggest part of me today my marriage ended and im destroyed i feel like ive lost my everything my heart my sold my life ,3.0
19110,has just discovered a great site ,0.0
19111,gurlstrange what if i told you that i dont drink either ,0.0
19112,misstattoo lol on your prayer tat ,0.0
19113,thepioneerwoman   go bosox ,0.0
19114,perezhilton cant wait to see new moon want edward to bite me  hubba hubba,0.0
19115, f and feel like i have ruined my life some people might think im being dramatic but ive never expressed myself on any platform about these types of things  but i feel like my life has completely gone to shit  im a first generation canadian of refugee parents  my university career has been so difficult from the very beginning and hasnt gotten better and i feel like ive ruined my life and crushed my parents dreams  i knew from the first semester that i hated the school and program i was in and had expressed it to my father  but he thought i was crazy and refused to let me even think of leaving or transferring  i wish i had listened to my gut at that time because throughout the rest of my university career i just hated it more and as a result became more and more unsuccessful with my grades and whatnot  my parents have expressed to me how many times they have cried at the fact that im  and still dont have a degree despite being their smartest child growing up  i have a great group of friends but whenever i chill with them a lot of the times we end up staying out late and my parents think im doing drugs so i feel guilty even hanging out with my friends   i just feel so useless   i feel like such a failure  i feel like im disappointing my parents everyday   i feel like anything i accomplish will never matter unless i have a degree   i dont even care about my hopes and dreams i just want any degree so i dont have this suffocating feeling of being a disappointment  i feel angry as well  i feel like my parents in a way put me in this position with their pressure and if i just listened to my gut i wouldve probably transferred to another school and had my degree by now  i feel like my university experience was robbed and my youth amp happiness was robbed  my parents grew up in africa so they dont really understand the concept of depression they just think im lazy   anyways i just had to write this cause i feel like i dont know where my life is headed  its making me feel suicidal and its scary,3.0
19116,mileycyrus is that what they call it hahacause pretty sure ive been dealing with that same issue the past few weeks ,2.0
19117,uhoh my sister crying behind me and my dad doesnt leave me eat my food couldnt be a happier night ,2.0
19118,i havent been with my girls in over  weeks and it makes me soo sad 😔 httpstcoyvrkfjrngs,1.0
19119, not that i know of ,2.0
19120,silentravyn i often feel anxiety when going through customs as well but in the end i find that its really not wo httpstcocrpmeydmin,1.0
19121,so lonely all the time im extremely lonely all the time yet incredibly irritable when my friends want to hang out i tend to turn them down for some reason i dont know why i have chances to hang out with people i have chances to maybe even get a girlfriend but im reluctant to its like being lonely and sad all the time is just my default setting being happy and in the company of people is strange and uncomfortable for me but the loneliness has gotten so bad i feel physical pain in my chest when i see couples walk around in public and recently ive begun to hear voices when im by myself which is pretty frequently anyone else know this feel,3.0
19122,just watched night at the museum  on the telly funny ,0.0
19123,writing in my listography book ,0.0
19124,jonasbrothers hi guys  im from brazil and i cant wait to see you here in s�o paulo love you su much xx,0.0
19125,if ur sad watch this so u can see crackers butcher songs again x,2.0
19126,rt gordongekkocell michaelavenatti alandersh jeffrey toobin dershs former student how has this come about that in every situation,1.0
19127,turkishgoddess yea i got yo txt n im sad u aint comin  we still aint tlkd yet haha omg  u free,2.0
19128,dannysullivan wow looks just like  the one my daughter had when she was  that my rottweiler ate  ,2.0
19129,happy valentines day i didnt get a valentines wish from anyone and chances are that you didnt either so heres one for all of you out there♥️,3.0
19130,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
19131,every monday i start my countdown to the weekends ,2.0
19132,rt  its sad that you said you werent fake and that you werent like the rest but look at you now 🤣🤦‍♀️,1.0
19133,someone ignoring my messages,2.0
19134,  its still the same  always nice though michellas just next to beach so great for a delicious ice cream  ,0.0
19135,eileenmcastroma hey you havent talked you all week   god you are that busy already now i know why i have not seen you on here much,2.0
19136,on call that took forever this morning amp started choking fingers started turning blue but dont worry im alright now ,2.0
19137,arrived in münsterland wheres the summer ,2.0
19138,jordanknight count me in ,0.0
19139,oh sad because i cant find a working hannah montana site ,2.0
19140,failing or just normal  a little bit of relationship thing im asian and im short and  old plus on a scale from  to  im an ugly  at best most people agree my father was and is a perfectionist because of that i had been training in physical exercises since i was  so im very muscular but short i was in america from age  to  so my english is fluent but my native tongue is horrible i watch anime and play games and spent my whole middle school and highschool on it most likely because of this i never really learned how to speak my native language and now people notice im bad at speaking due to my weird foreign like choice of words also thanks to dad im a clean freak no shoes indoors dont touch anything until you washed your hand and changed into home clothes etc i study in uk in computer science and i like all of iti tried dating women but i realized i was paying for everything every time and knew this wasnt gonna work due to my lack of street knowledge or just average human interaction experience i am boring it feels like despite being  i lack  years of dating experience and due to my lifestyle hobby and line of work it seems ill be alone forever is there anyway to avoid this i tried going to clubs and pubs but they just werent for me i have no idea what im supposed to be doing in this life,3.0
19141,self love comes from within if you met me in real life youd think i dont give a fuck about what you think of me ive been told i seem very relaxed in social situations but i feel crippling anxiety and self hatred underneath all the pleasantries i used to think that i felt so sad because i didnt have enough friends but now i have a sufficient amount of friends and im still constantly comparing myself to girls who are prettier or smarter or more popular than me it seems like it never stops it made me realize that self love never starts externally no matter many people care about me it wont cause me to care about myself and right now no matter how much external love i receive i still hate myself i need it to stop so bad and maybe it will  in an hour or two but itll come back again tomorrow night and the day after that too life just doesnt feel worth living and i dont feel prepared to deal with anything right now i do literally nothing all day and i cant even handle that they had to cut back my school time to an hour a day because i was too depressed and anxious to deal with any more i couldnt even do that one hour today i feel crippled by my mental illness i cant do anything without it looming over me im looking for a reason to keep going and im not finding any it feels completely and absolutely hopeless,3.0
19142,my new place in paddo is so much quieter its what i wanted but all of a sudden im missing the busy sounds of darlo ,2.0
19143,still at emmas we jsut took some super creeper pictures awesome ,0.0
19144,woo im in the apple store in london how awesome ,0.0
19145,kellidickinson deep deep down not only am i not jealous but youre gay ,0.0
19146,at the emirates stadium ,0.0
19147,seriously dont wanna work in subway ,2.0
19148, off from work and no wifey,2.0
19149,stormbuster here it is the same  those mosquitos have bitten me everywhere last week ,2.0
19150,finding work that actually matters this is kind of prompted by this amazing  those of you who have found work that actually matters and means something to you what is it that you do is it in the nonprofit sector as long as it can pay the bills i dont care about the moneyi need to find something i can feel connected to and its gotta be work since were currently stuck in this model of spending most of our lives at a job i have dysthymia so its hard for me to get passionate about anything for long maybe if others have found work with meaning it could help the rest of us,3.0
19151,answer quotnoquot endresult is still not the image im looking for that was a short photoshop session  ooh the waste all that film ,2.0
19152,alanarules ooh yessiereeee  years but  do you do uni,2.0
19153, um didnt realdonaldtrump tell his sycophants that mexico was going to pay for his wall im not su ,2.0
19154,  it has blue eyes but it was sleeping here ,0.0
19155,luvyaa  socialmania is brian campbell not briancampbellmy mistake  sorry ,2.0
19156,time to go to sleep have to wake up early morning to go hiking ,2.0
19157,a sense of nothingness ive had a darkness gnawing at me for most of my life a sense of utter meaninglessness as i proceed through life i feel like theres a void around me going through me working studying doing anything it feels so effortful and i feel so tired and nobody really cares what i do at university my teachers never knew my name after university at work were all in our bubbles nobody cares about anyone when i fail nobody would pull me up rather the company will dump me as soon as i cease to be productiveim lucky in that my family cares about me and i have  or  friends i keep going for them i cant really make myself happy in a real way but i can make them happy which gives me some joy but most of the time theyre not around and as i get older we all drift in our separate self actualised directions ive failed in all my attempts at forming a close intimate bond with someone else my personality and interests are so eccentric women may find me interesting but they rarely love me and so in that respect ive been alone for almost the last  years i made a lot of efforts in the last  years i put much of my energy into it and i failed repeatedly ive experienced pain boredom onesided love but never reciprocated romantic loveive only ever really wanted  thing since i was a teenager and that was romantic affection everything else ive done i did to make my family happy since then ive tried to live hedonistically for myself and its brought me momentary relief from my thoughts but ultimately it does little for me with my bed a screen and an internet connection there is little else i can buy so my money piles up unspent whats the point in suffering through work for employers who view me as an expense item for money i spend less than half of i used to think i was saving for my familys future but the prospect of that ever happening for me feels more distant as the years go by im  now and i dont even know how to hold hands with someone else even something that small looms large in my fantasiesim unemployed right now and thinking about the future but i have no energy to go back to work it all feels pointless i could go another year or two like this on my savings but then what im materially blessed if only due to my frugality but i cant help but feel the gnawing nothingness when life feels lifeless what reason is there to delay death ,3.0
19158,video games have proven to be more effective at overcoming depression in teens than counselling has been,1.0
19159,therealjordin wowthat was deep  battlefield is beautiful youre such an ,0.0
19160,bradcollinswtw its wwwtwittercomyelyahwilliams ,0.0
19161,tv remote has officially gone mia have to get up to turn off tv     why is there not a tv remote pager button on tvs,2.0
19162,rt sopeiology seattlesd  btstwt they share their mental health experiences they dont speak on behalf of everybody mental,0.0
19163,bacon butty on the train this morning but its ok cus its on brown bread that makes it healthy ,0.0
19164,survived a mostly internetless weekend with the help of a few friends amp a lot vodka ,0.0
19165,feeling very grateful for such a great mum and family ,0.0
19166,rt indomymenfess  regarding to the sad news today our fellow army said dont mention tas name just censored it we dont want t,0.0
19167,rt figgled cool things about being an adult eat chips whenever u want no bedtime tired all the time  sad all the time  wait a s,1.0
19168,dawniecahill awww  haha its this guy me and jenny kept seeing and hes hillarious idk what tatts it is but yeah he was like wee security,2.0
19169,rt fineeassgirllll depression is something you can hide so good but when youre  alone its there with you ,0.0
19170,how yall doing i was very depressed all day why does this happen randomly i get so sad and down  feel bad on my family,2.0
19171,stubborn depression i anticipate this being a long post so bear with me  i go through what may appear to be extreme depressive episodes i can usually function normally in society but i have bouts of depression where i get depressed and become extremely difficult to support i reach out to people close to me ie friends or significant others about how self deprecating i feel but no matter what they say they cannot console me usually after one of these episodes im fine for a while but eventually i get self deprecating again and will reach out to someone with messages like im a big baby fuck everything or ill talk about how bad i am at everything and how im an awful human i think im trying really hard to get someone to disprove my negative beliefs of myself but no one really can because ive thought about all my faults so much and have basically accepted i cannot actually change my personality these people have tried hard to comfort me but it rarely works and they become frustrated and it usually involves people leaving me because they cannot handle how much distaste i have for myself and how stubborn i am about wanting to hate myself i dont know what to do about this i have seen therapists extensively and im so good at presenting myself that they dont even think i need to be there despite my claims of how much i dislike myself they usually prescribe self love and say that the odds of me having a mental disorder are quite low ive seen psychologists that all say that it sounds like im struggling right now but medication is unnecessary because i dont likely have clinical depression all of my self deprecating nature shows much more over text than face to face because im quite unexpressive face to face and more articulate over text i do not know what to do i cant see a way out of this and the frustration everyone gets when i discuss this makes me think soon people in my life will start leaving again i just feel like no one can actually disprove the things that are wrong with me and thats discouraging because it just reiterates the negative beliefs i have of myself any help would be greatly appreciated i really do want to get better ,3.0
19172,anrfreelance im rereading quotfiendquot right now its so so great no really and for some reason its signed which means its not mine ,2.0
19173,nothing tastes as good as depression feels,1.0
19174,failed a class for the second time this yearidk what to do anymore i  found out today i failed my math class for the second time this year idk what to do anymore honestly i was never really good at math ever since middle school just barely passing most of my math classes but now in college i guess its really when my weakness comes out i did fine on homework and quizzes i think what pulled my grade down the most were the tests and the final exam which were worth the biggest portion of my grade my parents dont know yet i dont plan on telling them unless i absolutely have to because i know theyll be really upset about it i emailed my counselor so i hope we can figure out what to do and hopefully it doesnt involve telling my parents since i already signed up for classes for next quarter which starts next week but i just cant process the fact that even after  quarters i still cant pass the fing class,3.0
19175,amypaffrath hey gorgeous pls let me know how ur dad is doing if u have a couple of mins  still keeping my fingers crossed here,0.0
19176,rt aravosis thats the kind of story you read about a massmurderer and say how did they not know httpstcokkptzrswlr,0.0
19177,rt foxnews flotus questions kathygriffins mental health after bloodied mask photo shoot  ,1.0
19178,hanging out by my pool all day catching some sun hopefully not burning amp swimming ,0.0
19179,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
19180,mikodragonfly thank you kindly ,0.0
19181,needs make up artists  good with makeup talk to meeee ,0.0
19182,rt  people tell me depression is temporaryits been  years and im still waiting for that temporary to be over,2.0
19183,my girlfriend of  years cheated on me with my best freind i really dont know how to feel its all such a shock and its flipped my whole world around im not really sure what i could do to help me get over it,3.0
19184,alone id rather be a lover than a fighterbecause all my life ive been fightingnever felt a feeling of comfortall this time ive been hidingive never had someone to call my ownim so used to sharinglove only left me alonebut i guess somehow im at one with the silencesome of you may recognize those lyrics adapted from a song called silence by marshmello and khalidi feel alonedepressedi hate it and im sick of it i have a few good friends but theyre busy my family is busy i only feel safe and happy in my roomalonein my nice warm bed with a little lamb teddy i was given when i was born ironic really i live in the middle of nowhere a  minute train journey away from my friends college work and practically my life i try to break this isolation but i never seem to be able to i also suffer from anxiety and depression dont know if this goes without saying or not i dont know lolmy homelife has been tough  of us mum n dad and  kids including me i have a verbally and until  years ago when he realized how bad he was actually treating me physically abusive father household full of arguments constant stress constant shouting it makes me sick however sometimes we work well as a family unit sometimes  weve gone to camhs social services to get help however no help has ever come  weve invited social services round to the house so me n mum can have meetings with them asking them for help they promised us theyd come back or get in touch with anything but they never have mum n dad have been married for  years elder sibling is  younger two are  and    i dont know how theyre still togetheri thought they were going to get divorced a few timesi cant move out as i dont have the finances nor the qualifications for a decent job i hope i can manage something even a  bed rented flat by the beginning of next year  months ago after a   year relationship my ex left me like i was nothing and rebounded  weeks later this hit me hard i gave someone my everything i miss her sometimes but i know the relationship was never good from the start and that i subconsciously chose someone to love and care for because i had never had that in life before never had anyone to love me like that before im getting over this it doesnt hurt that she doesnt love me or that shes moved onit hurts that im alone it hurts that i have no one to love and no one to love me back no one to wake up beside me well today is not a good day this week hasnt been a good week these last few months have been full of ups n downs i dont know what else to say i have asd and have always struggled socially mostly from that but also from being homeschooled from age  because of being physically and verbally bullied at age  im in college now and doing well in my chosen subject  media   ive tried talking to a few girls however im trying not to get too down about them because its practice i have nothing lose apart from my dignity i tried taking my life last year with an overdose of paracetamol thankfully i didnt need an antidote or anything drastic i did however spend  weeks in a low security adolescent psychiatric ward where i got very little help from the medical staff there they put me on tablets which have helped and i basically willed myself to get better and get the fuck out of thereim depressed sick of it but not yet to the point of taking my life again i will admit thoughts pass through my mind nearly everday especially when walking along roadsides or as trains come into a station this is a bit of a ranti dont knowdont feel the need to reply if you dont want to i know there are other people out there who need more help than me thanks for reading i guess,3.0
19185,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
19186,ouchie ouch my back is sore  too much standing,2.0
19187,chloe has tears from her left eye when she cries now awww ,2.0
19188,life is goooood   live your life to the fullest for the ones who never had the chance too,0.0
19189,somehow after obs you seem to appreciate everything you eat  especially ikea food om nom nom,0.0
19190,rt alleyesonlils your wcw cries all the time about stupid shit  takes  depression naps a day and eats her body weight its me im ur,2.0
19191,andy murray out of the french open   roger federer playing today  go federer go federer go ,0.0
19192,its stuck in my head  ♫ ,2.0
19193,my perspective of life helloallow me to tell you about the unpleasant side of my lifei am just another happy person but only on the outside i believe that people like me are prevalent in society todaywoefully this internet age hasnt occurred as a boon to me i have overdosed myself with fruitless info from youtube porn facebook and social media predominantly my everyday life inherently consisted of dwelling in them in cycles and when i finally have one of that wtf am i doing in my life momenti could garner enough willpower to break this vicious cyclebut not for long until relapsed back to my old self i know i lacked commitment and i kept letting down the people who loved me and this melodrama happened so many times that i didnt see the purpose of doing anything is this the real lifeis this just fantasyi knew the answer i can see it vividly in between my chaotic thoughts in my head the answer is simple i just must unlearn my current lifestyle and overwrite it with activities i have been wanting to do selfintrospection tells me no video or article can keep me motivated only religious hard work will well the obstacle here is some supernatural force braking me from beginning a task and finishing it my mom once told me everyone experiences this phase and not to hope for life to get easier as i grow up i see vigilance in economically successful and kindness in socially successful people and i havent been mentally smart enough to practice these traits of selfdisciplinestilli can see the light and maybe i can reach it now after all i get one life and the key to this predicament has been so close and maybe just maybe i may bring my fantasy to life by just being resilient to the outside and do the right things without any questions like why should ithank you for your time,3.0
19194,kayteeeleanor ayup bbz good weekend if you get lonely you could just spend some quality time with your history essay lol ,0.0
19195,sitting outside alexs lesson eating soy chocolate sundried tomatos and drinking ice tea lemon ,0.0
19196,how do you handle the fatigue im beyond exhausted caffeine just makes me feel sick and my heart beat harder and faster and sends me spinning whirling down the anxiety rabbit hole i cant nap because ihave so much reading to do for uni how do you deal with it do you just sleep anyway i just have so much work to do,3.0
19197,cant believe im currently posting my  twitter   checking the facebook and myspace  hanging with kali eden tonight ,0.0
19198, i would love to see them perform at the bet awards too hopefully they get to perform ,0.0
19199,its going on a week and my dang picture is still not showing up  i just want to see myface is that too much to ask,2.0
19200,iamdiddy damn espresso you up early  nightzzzzzzzz,0.0
19201,rt   he looks so sad  but it was prolly for the best   hopefully tom hasnt completely rubbed off on henry  if we ev,1.0
19202,thompabompa great grattis igen ,0.0
19203,episodes mood swings why is it that i randomly get extremely down on myself for just existing i have a belief that if you dont like something you shouldnt do it i dont like life right now i know ill get through it but i just hate not having any sense of why i hate myself so much in the moment ill be driving and ill just be like why should i not drive off the road right now im stable the vast majority of the time but ill just have an extreme snap sometimes ive gotten to the point where i can talk myself out of even doing harm to myself but i just want to be another human already ,3.0
19204,ƹ̵̡ӝ̵̨̄ʒ blues brothers ,0.0
19205,i dont want to live my life anymore i cant sleep normal i cant even go through puberty normally i cant eat normal or lose weight im poor im having pain and im mentally crippled and isolated i am fucking falling and everyone thinks that im doing fine but i know im not fucking doing fine i want therapy so fucking bad i want a way out ,3.0
19206,martin officially is at his new home it was so sad ill miss you you big dummy ,2.0
19207,hey twilight junkies new moon trailer here looks goooooood  httpbitlypupbp,0.0
19208,streetanchor  cool,0.0
19209,looking through my high school yearbooks was a mistake i was doing some reorganizing and found my high school yearbooks i graduated in  and havent looked at them since it was a real punch in the gut to read the notes from people talking about how they wished the best for me and saw potential and good qualities and think about where my life is it was sad to see my sisters photos at a time when she was happy before her life went to shit there was also a letter from my past self to my future self that had a list of things i wanted to accomplish havent done a single one ,3.0
19210,beverleyknight hope everthing turns out ok with ur friend  xx,2.0
19211,aw awsome party lst nite hink drank too much x gt wrk in  dini wanna go  feel ill lol,2.0
19212,chantalmatar cant tel if smells  im sick  no pain started swelling tonight just mild no pain  she eats etc,2.0
19213,i feel like im  years old and im only   male here ive lived the past  years of my life experiencing nothing but sadness anguish misery loneliness rejection and so much more i honestly dont even envision myself living past  or even getting there as if im  and ive got that not sure i have many years left ideal in my head is this a normal feeling i just want to feel happy i just want that feeling of solace i live everyday with optimism and put my best foot forward to make my dreams and visions possible im the pilot here i understand that i genuinely want to be happy i genuinely to find something special in this world  but im a pilot without proper training and am steering dark in the middle of a storm  after years and years of failure i dont even know why i try anymore my first attempt was at  years old and since i was  every day has been exactly the same i just feel like ive peaked i feel so old and so weak,3.0
19214,been unemployed for  months losing a lot of hope going broke i feel like a disappointment to my family and due to my clinical depression i cant seem to get a job things are kinda spiraling out of control and im losing faith that hinge will get better,3.0
19215, i understand  need to to type you tomorrow at some point ,2.0
19216,how do you deal with being aware of the suffering of others i apologize if this is the wrong place for this ive been feeling depressed about things like this since i was a teenager but it just has gotten worse over time my depression feels sortof existential if that makes sense i spend a lot of time thinking about how hard other peoples lives are like how much harder other peoples lives are than mine i just dont really know how to deal with that and carry on through my day actually feeling happylike ill think about people suffering in wartorn countries you know like people living with the constant fear that maybe they wont make it through their day because a carbomb could take them out or something or ill think about how many black people in this country america start off at a disadvantage because of the racism and prejudice their ancestors had to go through and the racism they still have to deal with today or people suffering from mental illnesses without having the adequate supportcare to deal with it you get the picture right i just want to help people but i feel so powerless all of the time i feel like all i can do is speak up when i see injustices happening going along with that i kind of feel out of place in the communities i liveinteract in for giving a shit about stuff like that i have grown up in a pretty whiteconservative environment so i get looked at like some fuckin crazy sjw libtard all the time its like speaking up about it just falls on deaf ears the people who are open to these ideas already understand them and their implications but the people who dont just seem like they never will then to go along with that i end up feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling like an outcast for being socially conscientious like i shouldnt feel like the victim or the one suffering im just noticing the suffering of other peoplei dont know i dont want to sound like im complaining this has just been something that i have been struggling with for a long time it gets in the way of my sleepworkhobbiesrelationships i just dont know how to deal with that i feel like medication is the answer because i dont think i should try to desensitize myself to this sort of thing like i think it is good to be aware but i just dont understand how to enjoy my own life in the comforts that i know other people dont get to enjoytldr how do i enjoy life when i know i have privileges that other people dont get when i know that there are people who are forced to live horrible lives through no real fault of their own,3.0
19217,bencredible hopefully the weather has been nicecooperating ,0.0
19218,who was the support act x via davidnotmark no support act ,2.0
19219,now she sleep and her dad took her  bye lalool p,2.0
19220,its still wet ,2.0
19221,won my first game of settlers  and i didnt even realize i could have won the pound before haha,0.0
19222,theres something in my eye and it stings sooo much ,2.0
19223,jenleighbarry hey jen sadly  no guessing you are awsomeness can hear the clickclick of your focused eye going to work,2.0
19224,ive never had this post fest depression yall speak of 🤔,2.0
19225,only cause i had a way awesomer big sister  shes still way awesome,0.0
19226,purplepups do you have winzip installed on your computer id re up it for you but my download limit is just about reached ,2.0
19227,has anyone else experienced being ghosted after disclosing your mental health i am venting tonighti got ghosted by really close friends during my twenties after disclosing my mental health issues depression bulimia anxiety i recently got ghosted again the part that hurts the most was that i wasnt even asking her for emotional support it was more of a hey i want to come clean and let you know that my depression worsened last year to the point where i didnt want to exist anymore so i sought help got diagnosed with depression and anxiety got on meds and im doing better now i just wanted to tell you because i want to stop hidingno it wasnt an inappropriate time weve been friends for  years it was during a deep conversation  weeks ago she has since ignored several texts ive sent heras much as it hurtsi want to stop hiding my depression if my friends cant accept what im struggling withare they even my friends i just want to stop pretending to be finei told another friend tonight his response youre only depressed because you dont love yourself i think youre fixating too much on your depression  well your friends arent leaving you because you told them about your mental health its clearly something else and until you figure it out youre going to be friendless maybe you should try working on yourselfi feel hurt sad and frustrated ltventgt,3.0
19228,my boobs are sore ,2.0
19229,strippertweets cranky oh oh bad night did they not tip well ,2.0
19230,tehemopenguin wait hun can we talk before you go to bed on skype real quick please ,2.0
19231,is it selfish to wish people stopped caring just like the title says really does anyone just wish they could be left alone to cry hurt themselves or want to die without having to worry about that hurting someone they know whether it be their friends family sos or what have you i see posts about people wanting others to care about them but i feel the opposite and i was wondering if thats selfish or a problem ,3.0
19232,i miss being in a  network  goober joe,2.0
19233,so its been awhile its been quite a while since ive been on this page getting depressed feelings again sort of suicidal again dont want to get back on mess dont want to go back to therapy overall kind of pissed i thought i was over this garbage guess not im really lonely right now will probably be for the next two weeks ,3.0
19234,watching super junior eat is making me even more hungry ,2.0
19235,designing a restaurant  loads of research  a themebased one ,0.0
19236,eeshkapeesh that they very much do equal love   ive had pcs my whole life as well,0.0
19237,at the librarytryin to work ,2.0
19238, tht is so unfair i will have to miss it cos im in the uk  love love,2.0
19239,xginalisa yess excitment abound ,0.0
19240,marebiddle thank you for that honourable followfriday mention right back at you ,0.0
19241,my mouf hurts ,2.0
19242,is givin a big shout out to her hunnie lova ya millions baby  xxxx,0.0
19243,im an horrible person ive been having anxiety and harm to other thoughts i started messaging hateful comments to my exgf and she posted them in my facebook university page now everyone is judging me now i feel even more shitty and i will probably be hated on campus i had to close my facebook because i was being harassed and people were insulting mei feel like a peace of shit ill have no one im ugly i want to kill myself,3.0
19244,ouchies i burned my finger burning stuff ,2.0
19245,xvahx hey vanessa im linda and i love u so much  how are u  can u please answer me please   thanks,0.0
19246,billyraycyrus thrillbilly i see ive missed another new word being away from the us for so long ,2.0
19247,im suicide,2.0
19248,pentenscribes thank you  well be in touch d,0.0
19249,question most painless way to kill yourself im not joking nor want help so if you are here to comment dont do it just dont i just want a straight forward answer ,3.0
19250,just chilling at home going to pick up my friend from work in a little bit sucks that i work tomorrow night  my weekend is almost over,2.0
19251,abadgolfer lol lol lol nerd is right we had a cop follow us home  i think we both peed a little,2.0
19252,cross your fingers     what r you thankful for,0.0
19253,ruweena theyll ban you for saying that lol kidding falalalalala ,0.0
19254,what the fuck fucking disgusting i would have had an anxiety attack this is fucking scary as hell ,2.0
19255,dear mr sun please stay out a while longer so i can enjoy ur rays ,0.0
19256,i need to get rid of some of my artwork  years of the stuff really piles up i dont have the heart to throw any of it though ,2.0
19257,depressed but idk why im a college student and i think i might have depression ive been sad all semester and crying a lot when im usually not an emotional person im rly not sure why im depressed and i feel guilty for feeling this way i have typical college student problems like being stressed not knowing what to do with life and wanting more friends but nothing out of the ordinary i have a pretty good life overall but ive just been sad all the time and i dont know what to do i feel alone and like i have no one i can talk to abt it ,3.0
19258,how can i feel something i cant feel anything and i need to know how to fix it,3.0
19259,what a slow night at work feeling down due to lack of moola tonight ,2.0
19260,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
19261,girltoy quotbackintheday  monicaonline quothave a great day ♫ jimmybradley sonioushka verawooten suse ga ♫ ,0.0
19262,my partner had a major depressive episode told me i dont understand her and how she wants me out of her life my partner suffers from major depression bipolar depression and major anxiety disorder she hasnt had any major issues in these past monthstoday she left to visit her parents while i stayed behind to take care of our cats we kissed our goodbyes and she left in good spirits she called me during her drive and we talked for nearly  minutes and everything was good we kept messaging each other during the dayshe suddenly had a major depressive episode during the evening because she visited the store and it didnt have an item she needed in stock she started to hysterically send me messages how everything just seems to go against her and lifeuniverse hates her i tried to comfort her and say nice things but it didnt seem to help she suddenly goes silent after a flurry of angry messages after an hour of silence i start to get worried she has been suicidal in the past i messaged her mother and asked if everything is ok she is aware of her disorders she told me everything is fine that she is just really upset at the momenti know the store thing might sound silly but i know her and how even just a little thing can set her over the edge and trigger an episodesuddenly after the silence she messages me how i dont understand her she doesnt want me anymore and doesnt want to come back this came out like a lightning out of a blue sky i asked why and what did i do wrong she just responded that she feels extremely upset at the moment i tried to scroll back our conversation and see if i had said anything that might be rude or make her angry but i just didnt see iti told her fine i wont send messages anymore if thats what she wants i told her that she is still important to me and ill always be there for her she never replied backits now morning and she is still silent is it all over is it just her depression talking what can i do now i am completely heartbroken,3.0
19263,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
19264,i dont like those people that take a bunch of quizzes on facebook and fill up my homepage  i cant believe tomorrows monday quot,2.0
19265,i recieved an unexpected text how exciting  the forcast is looking sunny in neil world shame back in reality its raining bleuch,0.0
19266,i feel like im sinking back in after getting better for two years i got better i really did after fucking around and taking useless courses in college for two years and putting myself behind for three years i finally gathered to courage to apply for my dream program  a music program and i got in my first year was great i finally made some friends and made it into a  small community of musicians who are all extremely driven and passionate people but then two years have gone by and everyone around me is surpassing me in musical skills and networking abilities ive fucked this one up too my classmates now in our third year are getting gigs after gigs while i sit here from my room stewing in my envy im obviously a useless waste of space theyre playing together and getting their name out there while none of them have even asked me to play with them once no one will give me gigs cause people find excuses not to play with me cause i suck at my instrument and i havent been getting any better cause my depression wont let me get out of bed to practice much i have a few music students that keep me going but i just know i have no future in music and theres nothing im really good at im so close to ordering a helium tank online and just fucking ending it all i cant deal with the overwhelming amount of anxiety that i feel about my future im  and have achieved nothing nothing,3.0
19267,sharonaa im waiting for my boyfriend ,2.0
19268,rt yashimaexteen ถ้า ms งอน ไม่ทำ os ขึ้นมาจะเป็นไงบ้างหว่า  gtgt windows xp เถื่อนจะยังขายต่อไป �ละเด็�ๆ�็ยังติด  งอม�งม,0.0
19269,at work ,2.0
19270,tomhufnagel hows the weather down there just finished pouring all night here ,2.0
19271,the worst part of depression is the instinct to pull everyone else down to my leve one of my close friends posted in a private discord server i hope everyone had a wonderful day today i love you all so muchly and i just feel like such shit because my fist impulse was to let her know that she was wrong my day was in fact very shitty and its so frustrating that id rather say that then accept the sentiment and be cheered by her words she also struggles with depression so it just feels like my impulse to respond with negativity is this weird desire to pull her down to my level like i get that sometimes happiness is not possible but why do i frequently feel this impulse to be bitter and negative to the people supporting me,3.0
19272,homerfest in cleveland fielder hits a grand salami to take the lead  indians blowing it had big lead typical cleveland ,2.0
19273,parttimebowler personally i want a purple one but they dont come in purple  the merlot one would match my drums though,2.0
19274,i couldnt stop thinking about fresh prince of belair bloopers and now that im typing this im thinking about them again ,0.0
19275,june is welcoming us with the same bad weather as march april and may plus wet people in a confined space smell funny ,2.0
19276,my boyfriend is controlling me even though he is the nicest person ive met i know he is controlling what i do when im with him but i cant talk to him about it the biggest thing is that he wont let me drink more than one drink when im around him im not an alcoholic but its friday night and i dont understand the problem with having a few drinks and hanging out he always offers me a drink but them washes my glass afterwards and never offered a second unless i beg he thinks i get too emotional if i drink too much and now im scared to show any emotion around him i always pretend to be happy im not happy and idk what to do i love him but i want someone who is spontaneous and fun,3.0
19277,went through a really dark time in life the world looks like an old dirty piece of shit even though theres flowers and sparkly diamond and gold in it it full of death and despair and bitches and hoes and fuckboys and scammers and predators and fucking corrupt ass people,3.0
19278,gives you a lot of anxiety though just a heads up,1.0
19279,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
19280,my head hurts i want to dress like wendy for the jb concert but i have no peter pan ,2.0
19281,jmatthewflyzik awww i wish i was allowed to go ,2.0
19282,i cured my social anxiety but it seems that i gained a new disorder or is it tldr anxietyfear is gone lifes doing great but those little things that makes life worth living are fading before my eyes i am extremely motivated in achieving my goals but cant help but to think that im actually living a very shallow existencei used to suffer from chronic stressanxiety it was so debilitating that i couldnt even get angry even if someones blatantly crossing me i would have just looked in the ground saying nothing letting the person get away for what heshe did i almost always never go outside the house i didnt know what i wanted to do in life i was  years old during this timei finished my studies i lifted weights for a decade became lean and strong for my size became powerlifting champion in my country but something feels off i just couldnt take pride on it while i definitely gained some confidence it felt like im still living my life in  person testosterone levels were through the roof but so does cortisol i have been described at the gym as the guy who doesnt speak much and has a resting angry face but once they decided to talk to me most of them were surprised about how passive i am in my way of talkingi tried more serious feats of discipline i did it like my life depended on it one of those was controlled internet usage i was neet during this time so stopping those mindless activities which gave me a false sense of pleasure left a gaping void in my personality i persisted i could feel that all of my fears and doubts were gradually fading away unfortunately so does most of my emotions except for primitive ones like anger or lust i still persisted thinking that theres no way in hell ill let myself go all through those bad experiences againmy symptoms greatly improved but i am left with an anger management problem along with some terrible impulsivity idk maybe this is just pentup anger that did not manifest way back because i was just too anxious i didnt saw it as a problem and just kept doing my stuff i have already been reading books like the  laws of power how to win friends etc at this point but it didnt do much help i was only aware of the tenetsconcept but couldnt apply it in practicethe feelings of rage intensified but so does impulse control and overall calmness its weird like how but thats how it is it was angry an arctic anger so cold it burned type of anger while totally being in control this was the sanest i have been for my whole life the external world suddenly felt like an easy puzzle to solve only shallow emotions remained most of the deep ones which would put an ordinary person in great distress has been blunted this sense of power could get anyone trunk if theyre not introspective enough all of a sudden my whole life now revolves around getting what i want and to gather as much connections as i possibly could in order to propel me to the highest ranks of society for once i could say that i am already well adjusted to this fuckedup society relationships are okay tolerable its just there i dont obsess about it now than how i did in the past my pragmatism has greatly improved for better or for worse rumination or restless thoughts have been dealt with hopefully it didnt affect my creativity but to hell with that if ill just suffer anxiety for the rest of my lifethere has also been great improvements in the physiological i rarely get sick now i could lift just once a week and just feel as strong during those days where i lift  a week voice got deeper bone density improved jaw got way thicker along with wrist and hands and this is not just from a simple case of getting lean shaolin monks are known for their durable bones and while they always train hard they have also meditated a lot i did a lot of meditation but yeah might be simply a case of correlation not causationi had some tests done and it showed that i have high test levels while having lownormal cortisol levels but then theres this it has struck me that all of those things that i did in an effort to cure my anxiety or fear in general is nothing more butnvm so what even empaths could go bad without some selfcontrol meditation has been proven to shrink the amygdala the part of the brain which is found to be smaller in such people it also improves connectivity between the two hemispheres of the brain another thing that is found in those people well so be it perhaps i just did the practice the wrong wayi may be doing great in life now but i really hope reincarnation isnt a thing no matter how fortunate my next life will be those things that are required just to be well adjusted in our worldis the farthest thing from being beautiful,3.0
19283,advice would be highly appreciated how are you suppost to keep a healthy sleeping and hygiene i cant for the life of me even shower once a week sleeping pretty fucked too ,3.0
19284,im doing nothing ,0.0
19285,avilas heeeey girl thanx  im such a dork but i love dat man lol hes my ne fav ,0.0
19286,make that  what an exciting game to see live  nerevs,0.0
19287,illuminantceo any russian novel to recommend we were only taught with gorky dostoevsky and selected works of lev tolstoy ,0.0
19288,lmjtart   i am so jealous i dont even have a birthday cake this year ,2.0
19289,mamageee so far only met emiwhat a sweetheart ,0.0
19290,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
19291,i physically cannot cry lol and why do all this work when i would rather be dead rant i have no one to talk to i havent seen a therapist in  monthsive tried to let out my emotions by crying but i just cant its a weird feeling you try to cry but you end up staring at the wall for hours and im not sure if im even sad i just feel numb i have no motivation to do homework or anything why do this if i dont even want to be here in the first place all i do is wake up school sit on my bed and watch netflix sleep repeat i feel like such a failure i had dreams but not the ambition i want to be a trauma surgeon but i know that will never happen because i cant even get out of bed in the morning how am i going to save others lives when i cant save my own i dont know if i want to die per say but i just want peace with myself and everything i want to sleep and never wake up sometimes at night i consider overdosing or just shing but i cant even do those things anymore my scars will show in pewhen im in the car i consider jumping out onto the freeway and i dont wear my seatbelts because a part of me hopes we get into a crash and im the only one that diesi think of suicide every where i go now i wish i could just do it but i have a close bond with my two amazing friends who love and support me as i do them while having problems of their own and i dont want to throw my problems onto them,3.0
19292,himmelskratzer thatll be great i cant wait to see what you come up with ,0.0
19293,so exhausted my room appeared to reach furnace temperature last night and yet i chose to wrap myself up in my lovely snuggly duvet ,2.0
19294,dads and blairs birthday not allowed to go to blairs or fatties  ohhh well,2.0
19295,i have no idea what to do i have been in this limbo for years where i want to hurt myself but at the same time i am afraid of the physical pain that comes along with it i am not even sure if i am depressed or not i pretend to be energetic and friendly for a reason that i dont even know i feel at peace when i am alone i wonder if this is just me being an asshole though i sincerely am not sure i feel miserable i hate my family always degrading me every single time i foolishly forget the anger that is in me that was caused by my parents hell the reason why im even writing about this is because of my parents actions i find life unfair to live in and sometimes wonder whats the point i hate myself and the people around me i dont know what to do,3.0
19296,juss woke up headache ,2.0
19297,i wish i could turn back time i just want to turn the clock back  years before things started getting so bad id do it all differently i fear ive missed my prime ,3.0
19298,fast forward to the future lets cross those international date lines  im going home ,0.0
19299,thank you for listening friend  it helped a lot,0.0
19300,ronenbd will do thanks ,0.0
19301,well i was going to build a computer out of the parts i have lying around but i cut the sata plug off my psu for my xbox so thats a fail ,2.0
19302,srunarsson  how do i turn off the beeb sound on tweetdeck its scares the hell out of me every time ,0.0
19303, yes its true that buddha speaks to you through your teacher when you look upon your teacher as buddha with reverence ,0.0
19304,goa office is going veg for a while  soya tofu mango mango mango pineapple strawberry and mango again ,0.0
19305,rt sadserver following extreme anxiety that something will eventually go wrong the feeling of relief when it finally doesthat is cov,1.0
19306,adammusic hes been playing it this entire tour ,0.0
19307,rt whosmaddyrose im about to take my second depression nap of the day,2.0
19308,do you have secrets i do and it fucking sucks if i could go back in time i wouldnt take away the drug use i would take away the shameful secrets i have they arent even that bad i say that bad i wouldnt want anyone to know but keeping them to myself spirals into guilt and shame i have a meeting with a doctor every month i may open up to him more,3.0
19309,youre so far away now how can i reach you ,2.0
19310,rt lifeaging life is too short to stress yourself with people who dont even deserve to be an issue in your life,1.0
19311,thus to disburden sought with sad complaint,2.0
19312,i thought finally getting a gf would help ive been depressed probably since i was  now  and i thought for all that time id die alone but now i have a gf finally im somehow even more convinced having her has just made me realise how shit i am of a human being and a bf i try to talk to her about my depression and she rly wants to help but she told me i should stop talking to her about it and get therapy instead because its making her depressed im such a shit bf that even after  months i still havent had the fucking balls to kiss her this whole experience has somehow made me feel worse than before im not at all saying i want to break up with her cos i rly like her but i almost wish i never started going out with her in the first place so i didnt make her life so miserable and i could just spend the rest of my life alone and die alone without inconveniencing anyone with my pathetic existence,3.0
19313,michelledom oh yeah do we still have a deal ,0.0
19314,i feel like wearing really high heels today for no reason  lookin forward to  next week message us for list peeps,0.0
19315,photophly  thats no good  sorry to hear that  hows the job search been going anyways,2.0
19316,pdxsays what to banish smelly garments interesting ,0.0
19317,looks like its about to rain bah i was enjoying the sun filling my room  i hate the gloom of rain clouds makes me sleepy,2.0
19318,jakehh omg me too i was watching old big brother promos today  sucks coz even if bb came back pre much no chance that gretel would too,2.0
19319,purplemic but but i dont want to ,2.0
19320,black dress with the tights underneath i got the breath of a last cigarette on my teeth   ,0.0
19321,destroying my life one decision at a time currently receiving help from the school and therapy recently feel like i dont care about anything anymore and ive neglected a lot of aspects in my life such as school work dont feel like i can do anything that involves critical thinking or paying attention for long periods of time i feel as if im wasting time time which i might regret losing as school is or was important to me i cant seem to find the answers to my problems i feel lazy as if im making excuses i had time off school already and to not even be able to do anything despite my opportunities disappoints me greatly  i dont want to be a high school dropoutfeel so lost and cant seem to think beyond the present or future im constantly tired and crying though not suicidal i wouldnt mind if i died right now  i just want to be happy again and truly happy ,3.0
19322,i cant wait to get unsick  i feel like ive been sick forever now,2.0
19323,mommy just called theyre about to take off i should be with them ,2.0
19324,see demo about photoshopcom and iphone i dont have iphone ,2.0
19325,mileycyrus going to see the hannah montana movie today  jonathan ross interview convinced me  quotsee my moviequot ,0.0
19326,soooooo sleepy zzzzz sky may not b an option tonight headache is killing me tired as hell ,2.0
19327,oohhhh twitteri guess i have to wash clothes now  booo,2.0
19328,kirikosage  no gis club tomorrow  sorry pls tell drew i will be in class wedsthursamp fri,2.0
19329,is going back to office to work for the donkey ,2.0
19330,how to behave online i think people on discord are probably sharing my pic between servers if they put  and  together some crazy guy might go after me bc of what i said i didnt know people on discord were this creepy,3.0
19331,sweet got my phplist set up perfectly just need to get a widget so people can subscribe ,0.0
19332,is feeling poop but looking forward to work  and something new to play on  happy days,0.0
19333,i was having such a good sleep until my alarm went off stupid alarm well im up for churchhh now ,0.0
19334,worked out two days in a row woohoo im on a roll lol goin to a bridal party meeting for my cousins wedding ,0.0
19335,sod jonathan ross ill watch it on youtube goodnight everyoneee ,0.0
19336,congrats bluemarina i will be taking you out to party ,0.0
19337, giveaways that canadians can actually enter httpwwwcancontestscom add your giveaways too linky love ,0.0
19338,motherfcking phone i had a long one nearly lasted the legal limit but the phone battery died   ,2.0
19339,she walked away   l,2.0
19340,yhfar i did good last night starting to enjoy it ,0.0
19341,home sweet home  im craving pickles,0.0
19342,longest night of work evar ,2.0
19343,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
19344,thatonegirl dont even talk to me ahha ,0.0
19345,hayleyjfoster eek humid is the worst you feel all sweaty and your hair is poofy  good luck in the studio today ,2.0
19346,hiya troops joined this an hour ago an just got paid awesome never seen anything like this before   try  to start  more if you w ,0.0
19347,my mum took my mobile ,2.0
19348,is back to work   ,0.0
19349,ducden i think i want to add your nickname in yahoo  this is my ym  ,0.0
19350, time to go back to bed  is there such a thing as sleeping too much because i definitely did that this weekend ,0.0
19351,been doing more packing and written  classes worth of reports sadly no time to update my blog ,2.0
19352,rheac ohhn haha whats edexcel like haha it sooo was much easier than non calc ,0.0
19353,i hate reading about plane crashes   httpbitlypllyq just aweful,2.0
19354,lisalent very high fevers just not well crying etc says things are sore ,2.0
19355,i think i need a trip to the doctors  chest infection booo ,2.0
19356,all this twilight hating needs to stop asap ,0.0
19357,im glad i understand what it is now tho i used to go through anxiety attacks amp be confused amp make it worse,1.0
19358,just fixed friends blog is craving untraceable cell phones for mafia wars and now gonna catch up on some quality dvr time soon bed ,0.0
19359,whoz lucky one    mrsvhudgens,0.0
19360,this is a new year start over quick and motivational here this is a new year we all have a the same issue we are depressed unfulfilled hopeless fearful etc that ends today today we go out and change who we are we all have been dealt a shity hand in life there is no doubt some of us more then other but remember you can always change time to get a new job lose weight go back to school join the military meet new people try a dating app pick up a new hobby get a pet improve our hygiene clean our rooms take risks or anything else you have to learn to live this live is the only one we have dont waste it even if every day of your life has been pointless up until this point its never too late to change stop living in the past live for the future believe in yourself once you do that others will follow ,3.0
19361,wowzersi have been twitter absent for a whilefunilly enoughno wthdrawal symptoms  woo hooi am not addicted ,0.0
19362, jensenackles welcome to twitter  now dont be lazy like jensen update occasionally    jk love ya jensen,0.0
19363,chasepino lmfao youre sick as helllll ,0.0
19364,yes i thought i must be dreaming but its true  it is one of five i have  jkdisastrus ♫ ,0.0
19365,goldensduo no problem but did you see his name is now trending im crying its so sad that his privacy is now out,2.0
19366,thomasmize yah but its that sponsor stuff ,2.0
19367,laptopless ,2.0
19368,boyfriend suggested we move in together and didnt come with me to actually look at any of the places i contacted so i looked at them alone and when the videos i took of the various places and sent to him were basically ignored i also filled in the leases for the ones i liked  aloneill be covering the full rent so its not like i needed him there but would have been nice to actually decide on the home were going to build together togethereven in my own relationship im completely isolated and at this point i wonder if im too emotionally exhausted to even care anymore,3.0
19369,my story helloi didnt know if this is the right place but i just need this to be heardi am  and i right to you from the middle of a coronavirus lockdown luckily where i live my country has been very proactive and has a had a low fatality rate but that is besides the point the national quarantine has given me time to reflect on my life and i dont know what to do with my findingsi come from a very loving family who gave me the best life and love possible but for as long as i can remember until recently more about that later and according to my parents i had anxiety starting at age  this impacted me on a completely different scale that i cant barely begin to describe i hated myself i hated the way i looked the way i dressed the way i spoke the way i walked you name it i hated it this day to day alienation of myself as a person stopped me from living a normal childs life i never signed up for sports or for music or nothing i never had the confidence to even take the chance  because i always felt that i was so wrong the less chance i had to be wrong the easier my life would be i would turn down birthday parties and other social events because i didnt want to say something or be judged or make a bad impression etc i remember in my first year of primary school we were played this movie about an orphanage who had a caregiver who banned all stuffed animals and teddys probably not the best movie to show to a bunch of  years old this lady hated them so much she would burn them and make the kids watch i can vividly remember coming home that day quiet acting like it was a normal school day  but there was one thought i could never clear my head off the burning of the toys it wasnt until that night and from memory about two months after where i would hide my stuffed animals under my pillow when i went to bed and kept myself awake  on guard almost in case such a thing happened to me as well that is something my parents never found out about at the age of five i can remember being worried that my house was going to burn down in my sleep to the point where i would keep all my most treasured belongings in plastic bags ready to flee the house with i can remember being scared that someone was going to murder me in my sleep or kidnap me and hold me hostage till the day i die i suffered from much more intense and violent nightmares than my peers the thing that i am still confused about is that despite that i lives in one of the safest neighborhoods in the country and had a caring family was that i still suffered from these things i was so worried about things getting broken or something going wrong that despite how desperately i wanted something to work or happen i was too scared of failure to even try in the first place i was always trying to be the happyfriendly kid just for the sake of everyone else which made sadly too much sense at the time but now it makes no senselike all people i hope we carry burdens my burdens was that my grandfather died when i was seven due to cancer the day of his funeral i was asked by my parents if i wanted to go and i was so worried about looking weak and upset that i went to school like it was a normal day while the rest of my family faced something i cant even imagine now i remember hating myself for years and years over that decision because i loved him to bits and i never got the chance to say goodbye my only memory of him is me returning home from school that day and my dad showing program and me seeing his photo on the front page i have never been to his grave since because a i am to scared to ask my parents where it is because i am worried about opening up and b the fear that it will worsen my feelings now my lack of attendance at his funeral ate me away inside for years i remember weeks on end where i would cry myself to sleep in silence each night but never told my parents and still havent it was only when i had a breakdown in i think at the start of grade  when i only told my mum half the story the regret not the amount of pain it caused me i dont think ill ever be able to tell them because it sounds just too pathetic it wasnt the middle of grade  that i began to get a grip back on my life at my school in eight grade it was compulsory to take a performing arts subject this could either be music art drama or dance you could either do two arts for one semester each or one for the whole academic year so i choose  semester of drama and  semester on dance i only choose these because i didnt know what else to do these classes were mixed gender which i found really hard because for grade  i was at a mixed gender school and then  i was at a boys only i found it hard because i had barely settled in and any sense of security or even a wall to hide behind was completely removed i found the first few weeks of the course really hard could barley look anyone straight in the eyes and mumbled my way through every social situation even if it was a simple hey how are you i just couldnt do it i remember considering dropping out and changing to music and my mum said to me just give it some time it will be fine and i have been so happy that i listened to that advice i owe my happiness and emotional freedom in life to my drama teacher she pushed me and pushed me to achieve confidence and it payed off it was so successful to the point where i changed to a full year course took for the whole year in grade  and the same in grade  i even signed up for the schools musical which sadly got cancelled but you get my pointhowever despite that i now have been dealing with the same sort of issuesdreamsconstant pessimism again like when i was five recently i have been so worried about death due to the coronavirus that on a frequent level i am having dreams involving comas death of whole family etc i seem to be more and more often wishing i wasnt who i am on a frequent scale i think to myself imagine how good my life would be if i was born in the uk etc sometimes i wish i am a celebrity or sadly just someone who gets heaps of attention i know that i just dumped a lot of stuff on you guys but here are the main questions i need answered please how do i make up for that lost time i spent worrying about everything what do i do about my grandfather what do i do about wishing i was someone elselike i said i dont know if this is the right place but your input would mean so much,3.0
19370,i dont know how much longer i can stay up waiting ,2.0
19371,if you have anxiety then you know the strugglesdamn i hate this shit,2.0
19372,waste of time i was born i had a good childhood at least from what i can remember i cant remember much why cant i remember much i dont know i got through school i never did put much effort into it i had friends i liked to play soccer i liked to play video games i got a girlfriend at the age of  i had chosen a whatever vocational education i got through it i never did put much effort into it either i finished vocational education we got married at the age of  we moved to a different city i got my first job i worked there i started to hate it after  year i lost some friends i stopped liking to play soccer i stopped liking to play video games we moved to a different city i got a new job i started to hate it after  month i lost the job after  and a half month i lost interest in everything i lost some more friends i got a new job i lost the new job i got a new job i lost the new job again we moved to a different city again i got a new job i lost the new job again i never told anyone why i was losing all these jobs i did not have any more friends to lose we got into financial issues i caused more issues  i got a new job i lost the now job we moved back home i got a new job i lost the new job i started to play soccer again i got injured i stopped playing soccer again i started to play video games again i felt like i was wasting my time everything felt like a waste of time i still play video games i got a new job i still have that job i am somehow still married i am somehow still alive i am  years old and i am still wasting my time i am a waste of time,3.0
19373,whats the method of incomplete hanging many people said that they lost conscious for just few second but for me i couldnt lose conscious and just painful what is the right method to do it right,3.0
19374,what a waste of a day ,2.0
19375,falling apart at the seams i was first diagnosed with depression when i was really young  or  i had a pretty rough time in my teenage years and a bad experience with medication prozac seemed to do more harm than good i think i was a lot better for most of my twenties and then i had several people i was close to die one after another the grief trauma and guilt snowballed and when my dad diedits like ive turned into a different person ive always been sensitive and introverted but now i just feel so much less able to handle things i cry constantly im almost thirty and own my home and run my own business the problem is im almost  months into running the business and its not going well im not doing well im just losing money pretty much every month and i feel like i have nothing to show for iti remember having a healthy lifestyle in the past for a while there i was exercising eating right feeling great and looking good but the stress and time commitments of the business have eaten away at me ive gained back most of the weight i lost when i was healthy and it makes me so uncomfortable and miserable in my own skin oh and my skin i tend to break out when im stressed and my skin looks terrible right now it has for months it hasnt looked this bad since i was caring for my dad during his illness i have such bad anxiety and i obsess over things i just cant seem to put my feelings or negative thoughts aside worst of all i know all the right things to do to help myself but im doing the wrong things instead ive been binge eating and binge drinking i usually work  days a week often  hours sometimes more like  and on my day off its a struggle to do the basics of maintaining my home even just doing my laundry or washing my hair sometimes i spend that whole day off drinking i know i should stop im just finding that really hard i hate groups yesterday something really humiliating and awful happened to me at work after a series of other mishaps that kept setting me back even further when my sales are the lowest theyve ever been i had suspected something like this was going to happen and i had thought if it does i will kill myself ive been having suicidal thoughts for about a year now terrified to tell my therapist because i cant be hospitalized and even once sat in my garage with the car running for a few minutes before talking myself out of itso the humiliating thing happened at work when i was already so tired and worn down and i thought well maybe i will kill myself and as i walked home i thought about how i could do it dont have a garage anymore and then i thought well maybe i can just self harm i thought maybe just a little and then i would go to sleep and maybe feel better in the morning so i stopped at the gas station and bought cans of wine and i got home and took the last of my anxiety medication and chugged wine and cut myself and reasoned that soon i would pass out and be unable to do anything worse i thought about calling my therapist and saying i was in crisis i thought about going to the hospital but i really cant be put in a hospital i feel like it would just make my life that much worse when i got out not to mention adding more financial stressso yeah i cut myself and i drank and smoked and passed out and woke up on the couch at  am and crawled into my bed now its my day off and i just laid in bed all morning and now im on the couch and i know id feel better if i cleaned up the kitchen and ran errands but it feels like so much i just want to lie here i have a doctors appointment on wednesday and im going to ask about taking something daily for my anxiety and depression but im anxious about that tooi think i can keep going i think i can get there but some support from a community like this could really help ,3.0
19376,cosmickitchen love the trivia idea if i get the answer correct will you fedex it to me  ,0.0
19377, ill provide the hipster you provide the pepper spray everyone wins ,0.0
19378,im now legally deborah shaeffer ,0.0
19379,god would make free ice cream day the same hours as my work ,2.0
19380,rt elwa semua hal lagi berjalan lancar lagi nggak ada masalah signifikan yang menguras tenaga tapi kamu tetap capek mungkin kamu secara,2.0
19381,read laurens twitter joke of the day and really misses her dads corny jokes  love the fam,0.0
19382,too poor for summer slaughter nickyts with kayley maybe muffins ,0.0
19383,staying up late to watch the end of the tigers game cannot believe that leyland was ejected for standing up for magglios strikeout ,0.0
19384,someone stop follow me ,2.0
19385,wossy hey jon just seen drag me to hellloved it but no bruce campbell cameo ,2.0
19386,  i miss her ,2.0
19387,i just spent  amazing days in disney world  i miss it already  ,2.0
19388,rt jensdowns codingbrown proftimnoakes peterdallas the tweet was an expression of my sadness and wish to make more people understand,1.0
19389,practiced prom make up  everythins officially sorted  i feel so chilled that ive got everything ,0.0
19390,jordanknight no worries my girl said yall were sexy anyways remember we need an after show in houston too thats whats up ,0.0
19391,im going to sleep in the spare room tonight theres a huge spider running around my floor  hopefully rolo will eat it,2.0
19392,i dont feel like facing the world today  just the vet for me thank you i just want to stay home amp read in bed with my cat save me,2.0
19393,lizcaro yeah no worries the only thing i would  look at is the energy chapter i didnt study and got a b so youll be okay i think ,0.0
19394,kiyanwang youre on form today ,0.0
19395,done i didnt fall or go the wrong way or anything  hahaand congrats to all the graduates of ,0.0
19396,wow its past  and nobodys texted me yet imma loser  i dont think this has ever happene before,2.0
19397,jasontryfon things are great here thanks  was kind of looking forward to a tstormbut it didnt happen   oh well,2.0
19398,hot dogs and ice cream cones make me feel five again love it ,0.0
19399,jon just took me to an amazing thai restraunt i should be well rounded by october ,0.0
19400,im a lowstatus man in my early  can i really turn it around i know wed all like to believe the answer is yes and maybe it is but theres a lot working against you when you find yourself in this predicament   anyone else in this same boat i was going to try to make a more comprehensive post but maybe ill just start with this and respond to what others say,3.0
19401,triplejdools im sure a million people have already told you its toche not taachi  ,2.0
19402,im losing my mind my father died last month and the woman who i wanted to spend my life with left me im a wreck i start doing better and then crash again it keeps happening she has blocked me on everything i know everyone is going to say let it go move on and this and that but im messed up from everything losing my father forever and the woman i wanted to raise a family with is tearing me into piecesi was going to therapy for my anger and depression but its gotten so much worse since all this has happened im fucked upi didnt think id lose my dad and her i wasnt prepared for this i started getting my life together and it all came crashing back down i didnt get to say bye to my dad either i hadnt spoke to him for a week and a half before he passed we were just busy with life i was out of town for work when it happenedthen a few days later it all started getting overwhelming and i got into an argument with my ex and we were already on rocky terms and that was it within five days two of the people i love more than anything were gone foreveri fucking hate this world i finally after years of trying got a job i could grow into and all of this came crashing down i thought this year was going to be different i didnt know it was going to be a different type of paineverything sucks,3.0
19403,crab stuffed baked sole would have been yummier while hot ,2.0
19404,our friends  old grandfather got hit by a car while crossing the street a few days ago in hawthorne may his soul rest in peace ,2.0
19405,i dread bedtime ,2.0
19406,katherinenajdek why be innovative n challenge convention when its done already so wellitll just take time and money   fail ,2.0
19407,maddysinger teach me ,2.0
19408,good morning everyone happy sunday ,0.0
19409,thats it its all got to much for me i can see the sun time  hm  play now work later ltgt  ,0.0
19410,beccalader i am soo jealous no one would see it with mei was stuck seeing drag me to hell again ,2.0
19411,i am fucking sick of these horrible goddamn nightmares all the time every day what the fuck what the fuck am i doing wrong what am i supposed to get its just these goddamn nightmares again and again that terrify the crap out me oh my godits awfulfuck,3.0
19412,my husband takes good care of me i love him ,0.0
19413,gettin ready for paintball ,0.0
19414,mishnohouse girl i cant believe ur in durbs already soooooo jealous  wishing u all of the best keep me updated k love love love xxx,2.0
19415,jajjaja que sad,2.0
19416,rt kychristina im a terrible overthinker  i can literally overthink myself into believing things that arent true amp that dont exist,2.0
19417,quirkytrinkets biology oh and an idea for your next piercing could be tongue or lip ,0.0
19418, talk tw  impending death  i was journaling just now and this is what i wrotei am not well this is bad really bad this virus shit is literally driving me crazy and i dont know how much more i can take germs there are germs everywhere i touch a surface  boom  got  i wash my hands and wash them and wash them and wash them sanitize disinfect i touch my face when im lying in bed i am touching my face for the majority of the time im in my bed which im in my bed all day and night unless im working ive been as careful as possible but i think i have the virus if i am hospitalized i will refuse a ventilator and i will sign a dnr upon admission im not suicidal but i cannot live like this any longer there is no end in sight i have constant anxiety and i obsess all day and night if i contract this virus i will not survive i dont wanna leave my family but im ready to go,3.0
19419,cant stop thinking about stateboard  ugh,2.0
19420,whats the point in fighting this find it hard to gain motivation in the fight against depression when i literally cant see any point in getting better seriously what is the point in having a good life anything we have here on earth will be taken away from us when we die so whats the point in being happy when were all gonna die anyway does it really matter if i end it now rather than live my life and die at a later date,3.0
19421,im a freshman again learning how to read my schedule hahah mostly just missing math for emilyblodgett ,0.0
19422,ive finished coloring a fish  thats an hour for one fish  moving on,2.0
19423,tamikka trust me it was worth to watch ,0.0
19424,lovablekeke lol  u already now im crazy ,0.0
19425,julia nunes is coming to knoxville today ,2.0
19426,feel like im in the background i always feel like im a side character in peoples lives someone told me that i was so normal that it was weird and i really get it since i was in elementary school i had a small close group of friends  people including me and we would always have to pair up and consistently the  others would pair up with each other and i would end up by myself or with another random kid i know it sounds petty but its kinda just like my entire life has been ive just gotten so used to being alone you cant tell that i care im so insecure that i constantly look for validation i always think my friends dont really like me and that they hang out with me in pity i know they dont  though but i always have the thought in the back of my head im the person you hang out with before you meet a decent person sometimes i feel like im on top of the world and something so petty can just make me feel like shit for days i have friends that care i just feel like im not close to any of them like none of them would call me their best friend or be openly public about our friendship i know this is wrong but its how i think ill honestly feel better in the morning thanks for reading this  also if ya just wanna talk about life dm me,3.0
19427,leix acute tonsilopharyngitis  dont worry im much better now,2.0
19428,orchidflower sorry youre still poorly  sounds like you are getting well looked after which is good to hear ,2.0
19429,never in the mood im not sure if im depressed or not though its my understanding that plenty of depressed people lost interest and pleasure in once enjoyable activities and lost motivation i also deal with this however im not sure how to fix my problems see i dont really have much of a life and all i do is use the computer i use it for entertainment for socializing and to find answers to my problems but im starting to realize that the internet has its limits even though im still turning to people on the internet for help i want to do more with my life but even if i plan out all the hobbies like i have been doing id like to have and kinds of people and places id like to discover theres a high chance that i still wont be satisfied maybe when i think of interests im just romanticizing the idea of doing things instead of actually being interested in the interests themselves maybe i just have to actually do things so that i know what they feel like which may inspire me to keep on doing them im just not sure or maybe theres one grand aspect of life that im forgetting that might help me  say animals or nature or something higher than myself in a spiritual sense i suppose its really hard to find what it is i might be missing tldr  too confusing i have interests that i would like to take action for but i never actually feel like doing anything when i think of those interests and what i could do i wonder whats wrong any insight,3.0
19430,i would kill myself if i wasnt a coward unfortunately its painful to kill yourself very much so and even if it wasnt i get the anxiety that if i attempted suicide it could fail and ill just end up disabled or something i dont think i could ever do iti just wish there was a button you could press that will just poof you out of existence or a door frame that when walked through causes you to automatically and painlessly die unfortunately again neither of those exist,3.0
19431,samho haha aww try to focus if all fails  googles your answer haha ,0.0
19432,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
19433,if anxiety could kill id be more dead than fuckin idk my dead grandpa lmao,2.0
19434, ohh okay thats alright just  go on everyday coz twitter is soo much fun  ,0.0
19435,sammiejotadych really  thats saddont do it,2.0
19436,why me why im  and suffer from severe depressionduh i also have ocd and adhd and add not to fucking mention lightautism fml ive been physically and mentally destroyed at school why me what in gods name did i do to deserve this every day i draw closer to just ending it why try no friends theyve all either betrayed me or just stay clear of me while putting on a friendly face im the school fucking target my parents do nothing to help they make it worse and yes i know they love me but no one not even my parents actually like me ive even overheard a mom telling her son to pretend to be my friend because i was different fuck you bitch i dont know what to do anymore i want to die please just make it stop please,3.0
19437,i feel so alone in this world ive never posted on here because ive been kinda afraid to but ive been dealing with depression eating disorders and anxiety for quite a few years now in silence i hide it away from people i dont want them to show pitty on me i dont want to be the person walking around yelling woe is me ive just outwardly stayed positive and its worked but ive reached a point in the past  months where its unbearable last year i lost  pounds by starving myself for weeks at a time i finally got over my disgust of food but i still panic every time my weight goes up i started cutting my hands in moments of pure panic uncontrollably i do it with my fingernails and i do it with out noticing and i have a hard time covering them up people ask about them frequently and i just tell them it was an accident and change the subject i feel so isolated i have no close friends no one to talk to i have a girlfriend but i dont want to waste her time with my problems my parents found out about all this a month or two ago and sent me to therapy i was in zoloft for about a  weeks and it started making things worse so they took me off of it and i told them i was feeling better so i got done with therapy but i really just wanted them off my back because im horrified of my parents college is getting to me four classes of homework just feels like so much even thought i know its nothing i have such a hard time falling asleep at night because i have night terrors of family members dying in horrible ways then have a hard time getting out of bed early in the mornings for work and classes i feel like my lifes falling apart i cant handle it anymore,3.0
19438,is lying in her tent with kasey deciding what  do today ,0.0
19439,im off the college you seksii twitters  mwahh hope you all have a wikdd seksi dai tdai ,0.0
19440,rt samcowen  my comment yesterday some of you asked my experience of depression so here goes ive been on meds for depression an,2.0
19441,is there anybody out there today or has everyone already started the long weekend ,0.0
19442,im in a madrid state of  ,0.0
19443,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
19444,i feel like a broken record when im sad but why am i even trying anymore i feel like im just wasting peoples time,0.0
19445,koroshiya congratulations ,0.0
19446,i really love my junior friends they never failed to make me laughhhhh  harus ketemu lagi harus ketemu lagiiii,0.0
19447,is driving a little bored on a saturday and alone  where shall he go any suggestions,2.0
19448,adonisdemon cool i hadnt seen the latest news about the psp go looks like a psp and mylo had offspring  will have to read more abt it,0.0
19449, hi there just wanted to say i hate my life im  almost  i feel like all of this shit is fucking pointless my family life fucking sucks my dad is an emotionally abusive piece of shit that tears down my entire familys selfesteem guess thats what happens to adults when they grow up in a civil war in their third world country with hyper religious parents that emotionallyphysically abuse them the cycle of abuse is a real thing and im forever ressentful that i got swept up in this piece of shit storm when you yell at me you make me feel small when you get extremely angry and start hitting shitstomping your feet loudlyslamming doors you make me feel scared i go into my hiding place i dont want to come out i cling onto childhood plushdolls and pathetically cry into them being a caregiver to a person with ds fucking sucks especially when they smell really bad and all they do is piss their pants and masturbate fuck i hate being affiliated with all of this no it hasnt made me stronger no its not some fucking empowering tale its a dumpster of fucking vile shame and never ending misery no one fucking gets it i know i sound like a pathetic whiny bitch i guess i am one fuck man at least my mom is nice shes an enabler but shes sweet i like her she hugs me when im sad and it feels natural when he puts his hands on me i want to fucking scream and yell just so he could undestand the pain he puts me through i hate him i hate him more than everything i hate him more than myself youre probably gonna say call cps yeah right with a fucking disabled minor in the house who i would probably never see again yeah not happening cant move out since  i dont have enough saved up they have fiscal control over me they wont let me pay for certain things because they can handle the expenses they dont want me to leave i want to burn everything to the ground i want to burn myself alive  im codepdnent i thrive off of fixing everyones roblems when i cant fix my own then i hit my head violently and i scream into every piece of fabric i own my friends dont get it my boyfriend doesnt get it the people i live with are religious i honestly think its cult like girls arent allowed to cut their hair short and pretty much if you dont believe in our stupid religion youre going to hell lmfao he doesnt listen to me the worst part is is that english is my second language but some of my spanish is fuzzy so when i try to explain in spanish how i feel and i mess up he tells me im fucking retarded and i dont know anything but im doing well in school what do you mean i dont know anything i wish you loved me i wantef tyou to love me more than anything what hurts the most is that im going to have to cut you off someday when im older and bitter and alone and youll scream at me over the phone youll come to my apartment and throw a physical tantrum youll probably stalk nme get out of my head get out of my head please get out of my head i cant take it anymore i just want to hang myself already ,3.0
19450,seethe stay mad and keep the duchess name out of your posts  bio crazies like  show me that so httpstcodkrhpymplf,1.0
19451,need help explaining depression ok this might be long ive suffered from treatment resistant major depression since i was  im  only for the past two years have i been on a medicine that has given me great relief in those two years i met a man amp became engaged i tried explaining to him that i had depression amp he swore he understood i was always scared about what would happen if i had a serious episode again ive had bad days but no serious long lasting episode well im in the middle of a terrible episode i cant get out of bed i cry all the time thoughts of wanting to die not necessarily of killing myself but that i just wish i wouldnt wake up feelings of being overwhelmed etc like i hadnt showered in days amp i wanted to shower but i have piles of clean clothes in my room amp the thought of having to look for clothes to put on after the shower overwhelmed me so much i just sat amp cried instead of doing anything anyway he doesnt get it i was in the middle of a panic attack the other night amp he said he cant handle this amp left he did eventually come back and hes trying to understand but i dont know how to explain it to him that i just cant be happy i cant find the words to express what depression feels like i tried googling what depression is like to give him an idea but all i get is medical sites saying you could have insomnia or sleep all the time etc i guess im just looking for someone who has experience that can find the words that i cant ive been hospitalized before i receive ssdi because its so bad but i literally just cannot find the words to describe how i feel or what its like to be in the middle of a bad episode,3.0
19452, mine are sore also  damn this time of the month,2.0
19453,feeling a little  tonight,2.0
19454,ottern ha ha thanks ,0.0
19455,aloof loner lonely i live in a remote area in the middle of nowhere with almost no one living nearby and i am profoundly deaf which makes it difficult to talk to anybody whos left alive that i meet but thats not the only hard part the worse thing is my conflicting personality traits of being cold aloof and detached this is actually the traits of aquarius which is my zodiac sign if you believe in that stuff i pushed people away for so long wanting nothing to do with anyone and yet it has caused me to be lonely ive tried putting myself out there going to other towns and online but to no avail and yet again i keep distant anyway i am a pretty handsome guy and its easy for women to notice me but my deafness is the problem when i say im deaf i get people pitying me and feeling sorry for me and that changes their view on me but thats here in these small towns this here is the vast countryside and the wilderness still i know i can meet people but im just not sure how to overcome being an introvert now i struggle with anxiety and depression because of it,3.0
19456, im doing  shows but neither of those   this is seriously going to be the best summer of my life,2.0
19457,pixiesongs  glad u better im gona try come another show can i still meet u by stage door if i can get too another show lemme know xxx,2.0
19458,up early to get ready for my sons medieval fair i think my costume is a disaster but we will have fun and the brownies look good ,0.0
19459,even with the manga it couldve been filled out a bit more a bit sad that ishida got burnt out and bc of his shitt ,2.0
19460,highlyphresh hey mi lovei miss u morelove u ,0.0
19461,someone plis help me thats what ive been thinking for the last  years im so tired of life i dont see the pupose of it sometimes  feel like i want to tell sombody how i really feel but i dont want to be judged and yes i really care of what people think of me thats why i never told anyone sometimes i believe i dont have depression because i only feel bad at the end of the day but im really getting tired of it is getting to the point to i begin to cry because of how i feeli really need to talk to someone,3.0
19462,hbilvey hi hannah banksyart is now at   hes been posting there since having probs with his banksyart account ,0.0
19463,i cant believe its fucking working first try too my new computer looks so fucking sweet too bad im failing the exam tomorrow ,2.0
19464,sheryllovesdmb ur welcome thank tweetdeck im lost wo it  grrr,2.0
19465,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
19466, hannah doesnt die  its all good x,0.0
19467,blur and punishment ive always kinda been depressed but i just broke up with a girl that i really liked we had great times i occasionally think back to my sexual desires and hate myself for doing so i subconsciously seek to punish myself like forcing myself to stay up and get no sleep or wear jackets even if im dying of heat and not drinking water i never let myself get over loss because of my ocd ,3.0
19468,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
19469,in bed waiting for supernatural to start ,0.0
19470,piece of shit computer is being so slow ,2.0
19471,hi sydney  ,0.0
19472,are we allowed to consider rossi a traitor he added another to make it  italy right at the end ,2.0
19473,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
19474,is back from the medium not too impressed  ,2.0
19475,anyone wanna start a  depression sub sorry just cant relate to so much of this here people talking about their crush not reciprocating their friend groups doing this or thatat  its work  to  every day and then there are no friends because everyone moved away or is married i mean yes were on the same trajectory but if youre over  you just dont give a shit about some of this shit sorry for being abrasive but im surprised its not already a thingbtw before you say i should dude im fucking depressed i laid in bed all weekend im still here im asking if anyone who has a little more motivation if they want to start it up,3.0
19476,quotfriends calls me at nine oclock says get the car its time to rockquot dont charge for the crime  jonasbrothers ahh lovin it ,0.0
19477,iasaddah deff nottt  soo your not alonee were both not theree,2.0
19478,i requested this version of we dont wanna come down whoop whoop i love this song ,0.0
19479,i just found out andy samberg has a girlfriend  soooooo jealous ,2.0
19480,rt jazzajohn even after pulse florida is  state in terms of spending to tackle mental health shocking ffpulse httpstcouzhgob,2.0
19481,geekish um no idea ,2.0
19482,thebeckyshow and noo morrreee falling into walls ,2.0
19483,a frequently think about whether of not i was sexually assaulted ive often thing back on it and wonder if this was appropriate early last year i went on a date with this girl things went pretty well we get back to my place smoke some weed it was my first time ever doing so and we hangout i dont remember why exactly but i mentioned i had alcohol and she encouraged me to have a drink i think because i was nervous or something and she didnt partake herself so im a little high and drunk and we start making out things go to the bed room  she tells me shes horny or something along those lines and i expect us to just mess around you know well at some point she tells me to close my eyes and i do but to my surprise after a moment to my surprise i realize we arent just messing around we are having unprotected sex im drunk and its already started so i keep it up for a few minutes before my erection fails from the alcohol then we dated for a bit after thati often find myself wondering whether or not i was sexually assaulted i feel like i would not have agreed to unprotected sex had i been sober especially considering it was our first date but i did enjoy it at the time we even joked later on in our relationship about how it was sexual assault but like i dont know i dont know how i should feel about it should i consider what happened to me sexual assault or does it even matter because its long past ,3.0
19484,sarahhjb all time low was just on mtv after true life doing weightless acoustic ,2.0
19485, thumps up girlie ,0.0
19486,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
19487,back to school tomorrow ,2.0
19488,jemariie that totally suqks ,2.0
19489,my mom told me she wished i was dead one day my mom was mad at me for forgetting my little brothers backpack at home she mad at me for not getting it she said it was my fault and we had to go get it on the way home she yelled im the dumbest idiot she knows and she wishes i was never born  seconds after she hit me right in the face and said sometimes i could just drive this car of the road when i came to school i couldnt stop crying my mom just told she wish i was dead i even thought i am so close to just go kill myself the thought about jumping in front of a car was in my all month still is just had to say it somewere,3.0
19490,sdotthepen where at so i can be sure to b faaar awayloli emailed u wks ago btw but u never respondedyoure firedslacker ,2.0
19491,dont let the sun catch you crying  oh my so cool  ,0.0
19492,i cant get my estes hydrogen rocket to launch  fail,2.0
19493,rt chadjamian rt if youve hid in a garbage can from a dog or have anxiety,2.0
19494,missgoogle has it been released  spent almost  dh on the  and now  ,2.0
19495,im going to bed im tired good night  ,0.0
19496,wishful thinking i sometimes get angry at my family for loving me i sometimes wish that not one of them loved me as much as they do that way i would have ended everything sooner instead of remaining alive for their sakes and at the same time i get angry and disappointed and myself because their love is not enough for me and it should be enough i am too selfish,3.0
19497,watching last weeks one tree hill online ,0.0
19498,studyexams ,2.0
19499,kruttikan cudnt agree moren the shpping spree got postponed to saturaday ,2.0
19500,is partying with her family then harpers with lexy ,0.0
19501,i wish i didnt have to stress so hard to find out how im going to be able to pay my  weekly car payment while ,1.0
19502,im going to bed work was so busy tonight cant wait until friday ,0.0
19503,going to  hours to run then lake for the day after i say goodbye to my baby ,2.0
19504,rt kbintl great article jenniferabrams a concise primer for all of your great work for our divers nischina taketheplunge httpst,0.0
19505, i pulled up garlic that i thought for sure was ready today  it looks like it should be in ground for  more more months,2.0
19506,lol ive just cut myself for the first time in about a year and a half ive broken down badly cried my eyeliner off everything is just piling up the family suck work sucks my boyfriend said the worst thing possible when i told him how i was feeling im gutted now ive stained my bedsheets with my arm and im crying more because i love these bedsheets im screwed ,3.0
19507,having one of those days thoughts are everywhere just started on my wellbutrin a few days ago was feeling great but woke up today with very depressive feelings as i usually do im feeling rather alone today been thinking about my childhood teen and adult life and realizing not much has really changed i want to feel loved but lately i havent been feeling it growing up my mother pushed me away my father did sister and step father no one in my immediate family circle really wanted anything to do with me and i blame my depression and my lack of excitement for life for it maybe if i was feeling less worthless those thoughts would shift but right now what im feelingthinking appears to be the truth maybe i have been depressed for as long as i can remember long before i was given my first anti depressant at age  i have never had a lot of friends growing up i dont think i was ever an unpleasant person to be around just someone who is kinda wetspongelike my best who i grew up with and lived across the street unintentionally burned what was left of our friendship i dont think she realizes how much she hurt me she was drunk and asked if i had any pads or tampons i did and walked them over she bought a house with her fiancee  blocks over from where i live i ring the door and was greeted by her and maybe  other people her fun friends brother and his friends she completely forgot she invited me over and this was maybe  minutes between asking me for tampons and by the time i got there she invited me in out of obligation i stayed for a few beer and went home i was really hurt everyone in that house i knew i babysat some of them when they were younger i wasnt invited mind you i just turned  and i feel like maybe i shouldnt be this upset im trying to rationalize it but what i feel is that i have been replaced my mother has been in aa for almost a year and has been sober she sees like a completely new person and im happy for her though how she treats me remains the same and only contacts me when she needs something or prys to come see my cat every weekend she goes to the bar to have pop hang with her nieces and seems to have a good time in my  years i have gone to the movies once with my mother we have never gone out to do something fun our only outings together were at family dinners and to go grocery shopping to be her extra set of hands i wish my mother liked me enough to want to be around me father had court ordered visitation on weekends he stopped abruptly and stopped taking my calls as i got older i tried to connect with him but he was always busy and that he would call me back yet my drug addicted mentally unstable could pop by his house anytime and she would be welcomed  years ago my sister told me my father never thought i was his despite having identical birth marks on the same leg it is bogus but it explains why he chose preference over his first born i was a punching bag for my sister and an easy target for bullying at school and home parents did nothing and let it happen step father took over the home tormented me about my weight and how much of a c i was i was getting this from age  to about  until i moved away my relationships in life have taught me that i am unwanted and unlovable i have been in a good relationship for  years with my fiancee i love him to pieces but the guilt of feeling worthless and deepening depression over recent events and winter is concerning i worry that i am pushing him away with my constant sobbing and not being  confident in why im upset i cry first find the reason second he assures me everything is okay but reality is distorted and i dont quite believe him im not sure if im asking for help or just looking to get this off of my chest but yeah i dont really know what its like to feel wanted or loved its not something that i have ever experienced enough to know for sure but im scared im going to live my life with my fiance not feeling like hes not doing enough but in reality its that i just dont know what love is and how to know that i am receiving it this isnt a him problem its a me problem and i am fully aware of it just not at those moments when im having a depressive episode i know i need help i dont want my loved one to suffer,3.0
19508,mattymoshh shun off  you dont care   shun on,2.0
19509,i need to go to the orthodontist ,2.0
19510,rt kyalexys depression naps and shopping tripsuntil mercury is out of retrograde fml,2.0
19511,tommorow i will call to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist questions as the title says tomorrow is the day i do something about it but i have some questions  how do i explain that i think about suicide but have no interest in actually killing myself should i even bring this up i drink alone sometimes but im a minor if i bring this up will they tell the copsmy parents i dont want to have to snitch with how i got it journal daily if i tell them this will they pry and try to see more of it than i want to show,3.0
19512,dannabug i think the latter ,2.0
19513,theblairbutler nice work we get comics with  month delay but i  enjoy hearing your reviews i get invincible in tpb so had to skip ,2.0
19514,my therapist is going to stop seeing me ive been working with my therapist for like a year and now shes going to start teaching and wont have enough time for our sessions anymore im feeling a bit sad about this because i truly enjoyed talking to her and im afraid i wont find someone that i identify with as much as herhas anybody else been through this how was your experience starting again with another therapist also is it okay to tell my current therapist that im grateful for all the times shes helped me or should i just say thanks and goodbye sorry for any english mistakes its not my first language and its late here,3.0
19515,i am constantly watching television or listening to music or a podcast to distract myself from intrusive thoughts when i was severely depressed my therapist recommended using distraction to prevent myself from being consumed by flashbacks of former trauma this was necessary during that time now my mood is stable im consistently exercising and meditating but i continue to need to distract myself ive spent entire days with earbuds and listening to podcasts because of this habit does anyone else deal with this has anyone broken the habit,3.0
19516,teearnstack sure did ,0.0
19517,sooo tired class in the morning then working  ,2.0
19518, im sorry  hugs praying for you,2.0
19519,ooh  and no gg today  helping mum doing her favor ,2.0
19520,honestly is there a way out please i dont need any kind of number to call or fake responses to prevent my suicide lets assume i wont do it today ok so please be honestany stories of people that really went out of depression once and for all and howmy history is shitty disgusting and invasive family with whom i am stuck since after finishing university one year ago i cant find a jobfeeling a failure disgusted by my own body since i am binge eating all day and i dont see any hope in front of me i really tried depression did not start this year of unemployment but of course it got really worse up to the point that now i cant think of going out or washing myselfplease any real stories of people who went out of this hell,3.0
19521,ahhhh dreams ,0.0
19522,sleepydad thanks i will consider myself an honorary sleepydad now ,0.0
19523,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
19524,mvidaurri ok but if you need me im here  oie sorry q i didnt go with you i wanted pero my mom wasnt in the best of moods i love u ok,0.0
19525,about mental health ive been seeing a lot of posts lately about self harm and i wanted to let it be known that i dont care if i dont know you message me reach out i will care i will try to help i will not ignore you please,3.0
19526,reginacassandra awww regina  thanks for caring but its nothing really dont worry ,0.0
19527,i just finished playing tackle football with my friends i didnt hurt nobody ,2.0
19528,pontecarlo they were bad on the first night  ,0.0
19529,need to get sized for a tux after work i dont think im ready for rusty to get married  the bromance will be over ,2.0
19530,nesmeecullen lol i love you ness  btw sam needds to come see his daughter lol,0.0
19531,i thought it was gone im  and when i was  i started feeling sad and then it got a lot worse and worse until i cried myself to sleep every night and last year it didnt seem as bad i had small moments where doubt came in and my anxiety was getting better and then a few months ago everything just hits me again i cant stop having suicidal thoughts when someone says something even remotely negative about me i either burst into tears or scream at them i go from being numb to everything to not wanting to move i cant stop crying today and dont trust myself to go down the steps since last time i felt this bad i wondered what if i just missed the top steplast year i wasnt necessarily happy but i wasnt sad or crying everyday i was just kind of in between able to get through things and have good days now i dont know what to do again or why it just all decided to come back now,3.0
19532,met a girl at a music festival i let my friends drag me to a music festival a few days ago and i met a girl lightyears out of my league im not good at making new friends or talking to people in general but she is so easy to speak to and she listens so well on the last day of the festival it somehow worked out to be just the two of us watching a couple shows alone and it was really nice she asked for my number at the end which threw me for a loop since ive never given out my number before i think i actually felt good when i got home that feeling quickly faded as thoughts of how im gonna fuck it all up came washing over me idk what to do ive never felt more hopeless in quite a while ive basically convinced myself to never talk to her again,3.0
19533,music hurts i realized that i cant really listen to music anymore because i am so used to feeling fucking nothing all the time that when a song makes me feel something it makes me physically uncomfortable i was too ashamed to text this useless revelation to my boyfriend so i decided to post it here to see if maybe anyone can relate im such a waste,3.0
19534,just gave a biggggggg goodbye hug to both manaum and areej ,2.0
19535,home from   tired in a good way  back deck heavenly weather glass of wine dinner in the oven  life is good ,0.0
19536,freakyducky just ask him one hell be flattered ,0.0
19537,mrduhamel oh  anyway i watch las vegas everyday youre such an incredible actor much love from paris  all my light and support,2.0
19538,i should go have a shower but all i want to do is research my genealogy i was on a roll last night then i had to go to bed ,2.0
19539,inell well when evil villains and plots and subterfuges which i havent entirely worked out yet are involved not all goes well ,2.0
19540,joy to the world  nick jonas ♥ listening to the old jb songs ,0.0
19541,good morning twitterworld another beautiful day off work  will go for another longer ride on my bike  have a great day yourselves,0.0
19542,pitchforkmedia i so need to see deerhunter ,2.0
19543,noufah   thanx for askin here i am ,0.0
19544,mojomable im in season fivearound episode  or  im starting to like will bailey but i feel like im cheating on sam seaborn ,2.0
19545,i am in math ,0.0
19546,i feel so puny and young ,2.0
19547,sweet chilli chips ,0.0
19548,matthewclan waterdeep before sleep is always a good idea ,0.0
19549,rt scottsantens annual incomes and employment rates dont show the massive amount of variance in our monthly earnings a ,1.0
19550,has bright neon yellow nails i dont care if you hate it aishaisha ,0.0
19551,depressed shortly laughing and then crying randomly i am  year old female and i think of suicide every moment in my lifejust now took sleeping pills  of them maybe i shut down to sleep still afraid of killing myself tho of taking big dose even tho not sure it is possible from sleeping pills  if someone knows tell me just tell me how was your dayi just need to hear that someone is speaking to me because no one does,3.0
19552,rt callmekthyky ma uso sad unta tinabanga dri sa room dili kay kung kasabot sila ila ila ra🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃,2.0
19553,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
19554,bassguitarblog follow anyone who uses the basstip hash tag ,0.0
19555,rt perrybearwaks this is so sad alexa play despacito ,2.0
19556,to slowly disappear from someone elses life there is a certain kind of pain in knowing your involvement in someones life  especially someone you love or are fond of  is transient whether its in a bad situation or an unfortunate death life just kind of goes on supposedly i made my mistakes let myself become exposed to the very demons i wanted to help someone else get rid of years of emotional manipulation and abuse the price for my success or failure was to see them grow beyond me and for myself to simply sink ink a pit of despair forgotten about its been months and despite everything the support ive had on and off from family and my not many friends it will never truly fill the void no activity no accolade no person i wish myself an unfeeling sociopath at times i find that only the coldest people are happiest long term as they know when and how to shut off emotion theres no possible way to succeed or feel at ease in a dog eat dog world if you arent the one feeding no way to feel acknowledged or prove that you do existsorry for the  rant maybe i will validate my existence based on getting a reddit upvote because those mean so so much when it comes to proving someone readlistened to my rambling someone acknowledging my existence lonely and pointless as it is,3.0
19557,am in a way encouraging my friend to the verge of suicide i have recently been hospitalised for attempted suicide and i told my friend about it all about itbefore i did it i messaged him saying i was going to kill myself that night it was a deep cut on the wrist and nowadays ive been having this feeling his suicide thoughts have been more  worstafter i told him about my experience im just worried he has thoughts that are like if my name had the balls to cut himself that deep why wouldnt i whenever an unfortunate event happens or when he feels suicidal he would message me saying he will kill himself tonight but doesnt do it he never messages me things like that not after i was hospitalised after all that i never talked to him about my depression or anything related to that anymore not my self harm my suicidal thoughtsincase that wouldve given him more ideas and made it worst for him in a way,3.0
19558,we will be spending time w our families that weekend ,0.0
19559,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
19560,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
19561,just got woken up unexpectedly now  going to try to go back to sleep say a prayer  havent slept good in a while ,2.0
19562,tried to find a dress for saturday night at the belfryto no avail ,2.0
19563,a few of my co workers are open about their depression i wish i was brave enough to do the same i see the subtle understanding looks they give each other how they cover each others asses in times of crisis i wish i could join them but somehow ive become the groups pillar the unwavering beacon of happiness i just wish i could say how much i understand and get a bit of support as well,3.0
19564,have to work this weekend amp after a very late night last eve dragging today big bday dinner at fogo tonight too not enough matt time ,2.0
19565,tarynann oh poop  they better fix it,2.0
19566,the only thing stopping me from drowning myself is that my sister would be sad but oh my god i resent the fact that i am basically being forced to live in pain pain i did not choose pain i cant treat its awful i am so angry that i have to live this life when i have this disease that makes it impossible to be happy inside i am nothing i have no passion for anything just emptiness im so insanely bored of being alive and having to watch everyone else have a blast like theyre waving it in my face  knowing its something i cant do so i just lie in bed and stare at the wall knowing i will never feel content or complete and that fighting it is pointless there will always be a void always a yearning for something to comfort me that will never come and doesnt exist i have to sit here with it forever and theres no point doing anything else ,3.0
19567, they told me ashton wasnt coming  thank you goodnight,2.0
19568,i think a contributing factor to my depression is being cooped up in my familys house i still live with my family and theyve been supporting me financially for almost everything they want to do other than food and some college textbooks that i pay for with a small checking account i get everything from them and i feel as though they practically hand it to me on a silver platteri probably would feel better about college if i didnt have such a hard time motivating myself to work at home i procrastinate when im at home because my house is so dark and depressing and theres so many distractions like reddit admittedly and i cant motivate myself to work effectively unless im in a positive and stable state of mind so all of my efforts have to be focused on doing stuff outside of the house so i wont be depressedthis is difficult to do since i dont have a job i cant drive and college life hasnt been very good socially or fulfilling since ive dropped so many classes and im down this semester to just two classes that only require me to be on campus one hour a day four days a weekif it were up to me id leave the house every day and id never stay in it for more than a few hours or when i need to sleep sure i could always walk but anything past the strip center where my local krogers is too unreasonably and i couldnt take my work with me i dont have a bike eitheri feel like im stuck in a rut im stuck here with my immediate family who gives me way too much and keeps the house so dark and silent until i can drive a car and get a jobonce i get out of this house find a place for myself to live even if im alone and take on all the responsibilities i should have taken up years ago ill really feel like my life is going somewhereive gotta get out of here its the only way my life will truly begin,3.0
19569,i feel so sore last night i felt someone hit me in the back i had to lay flat on back because it hurt so much when on my side ,2.0
19570, no i didnt notice  but nooo   stupid yt,2.0
19571,trips to target never end well as in i always buy junk that i dont need i bought the cutest shirt and dress   ,0.0
19572,its the updating iphone firmware bit that always scares me and thats now ,2.0
19573,last day of the holidays   but im stupidly looking forward to our  cent costume lecture tomorrow geek,2.0
19574,rt realdonaldtrump what kind of a lawyer would tape a client so sad is this a first never heard of it before why was the tape so abru,1.0
19575,bainmercergirl well next tweetup coming up come along  details to be released soon,0.0
19576,pedroaniceto e bom vinho taammmmmbbbbbbbeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmm ,0.0
19577,oh no i couldnt people would not like me ,2.0
19578,i should hate you but i cant soi will not buy your album na lang ,0.0
19579,oooooo inducting newbies fun i like training and meeting new people and stuff ,0.0
19580,od on vitamin c  i feel like i have a fever,2.0
19581,sallythomsett my pleasure x i love twitter  i get to google stuff for sally thomsett whod of thought it ,0.0
19582,ate at mongolian for dinner  it was good but only if i made the sauce ,2.0
19583,rt kanchangupta sad fact is that increasingly executive wants judiciary to direct lawmaking so that government can say our hands were t,1.0
19584,this is utter pants   fans blasting  windows and a door wide open and still i feel all hot and bothered i wanna get outside  xx,2.0
19585,i had dairy queen ,0.0
19586,hi donniedollsdoll  my profile pic still doesnt work watsupwidat   ps be a lady dang it your straps falling down shhhh,2.0
19587,happy  day of june  hahaaha,0.0
19588,blargh what is it with males and inability to communicate well  i hate the phone lol,2.0
19589,just woke up what to do study oh god no i hate that i have exams in a week ,2.0
19590,my brother leaves for europe tonight so envious ,2.0
19591,larrysphillips thanks larry   i can only imagine those things coming up fast  time has already zoomed by to have  graduating from hs,0.0
19592,kirstyrawrr  wheres you trainer tonight haha not tweeting much,0.0
19593,back from hen night  quite funny ,0.0
19594,home is where you hang yourself i am not really surei try to stay regular with my medication but sometimes anything beyond sleeping or waking up how the fuck do you do this sometimes i wonder how a single called organism might feel in a fools body i am not really sure how else to phrase that i cant work i cant eat i sleep when i can i dont know how to do this and i have tried for years yee haw,3.0
19595, biology smart cookie  how was grambling,0.0
19596,aw im sad that jake fell asleep already   i love that kid,2.0
19597,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
19598,did farrah really pass away if so how sad ,2.0
19599,iss sad bc nick ant textn me ,2.0
19600,god damn weather  its  just had breakfast and have checked the forecast  rain rain rain back to bed ,2.0
19601,cmclementi just like fall semester  i miss you,2.0
19602,im so screwed for sd test on monday ,2.0
19603,nnnooooooo my bass peddle on my rockband drums broke ,2.0
19604,im sick of gmail  why cant there be a halfdecent alternative out there,2.0
19605,tired i feel relieved when i think about ending it all im so stressed from school and so broken from my break up that i just tired of living ,3.0
19606,back to work today ,2.0
19607,i wish more of my friends would get on twitter ,2.0
19608,moochergirl im originally from seattle ive just lived everywhere else including many places in the south ,0.0
19609, hi i just dont see the point in my life anymore i honestly have tried everything to find somewhere where i fit but so far i have failed im just not good at anything school life you name it i even dropped out of uni i told my family i was depressed and they mocked me i dont see the point in trying lmao ive even tried everything to help myself even therapy but i am beyond repair nothing is going to save me from myself i hate myself i want to suffer ive been sad for so long i want to feel something other than sadness and ive decided that im gunna use the most painful method of suicide because in my last moments i just want to feel all this physical pain rather than remember how much i hate myself ive tried a few times but ive ended up backing out because im scared not even good at ending my life lol ill do it at some point ive promised myself i will probably by the end of next week im so sorry,3.0
19610, what the hell is the holdup ,2.0
19611,peetdevries httpisgdljap more than welcome ,0.0
19612,rt ericaamoraless sad,2.0
19613,jerseygyrl thats insanelolu need more btus up in that ,0.0
19614,chasesterling guess its just me and you ,0.0
19615,deannakicksass i still like the minis from the  ,0.0
19616,ugh cheap whiskey gross and i forgot to drink water ,2.0
19617,flumpy amp willow are getting adopted as i write this ,2.0
19618,has sociology exam but rain kept me up ,2.0
19619,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
19620,quoti believe that my lifes gonna see the love i give return to mequot ,0.0
19621,rt  musician jamesjoohyunlee will be releasing special merchandise via represent after finding out about the suicide of a,0.0
19622,super happy  pretty much the best day ever ,0.0
19623,omg if u have an iphone go download quotmelodicaquot its simply crazy what are u waiting for its only � beats spending �  ,0.0
19624,feelings of excitement when thinking about suicide the past few days ive been dwelling on stupid past mistakes and getting a lot of invasive suicidal thoughts but lately when i get them i start to feel excited like im going some place like an amusement park or something when i think about killing myself it feels so right rather than feeling dark and wrong my heart starts racing really fast and i get tunnel vision at times and think about hanging myself but then i immediately calm down and the thoughts stop after just  seconds or so im not sure if this is common or not ,3.0
19625,im just going to kill myself if this keeps going im so bitter im so angry these thoughts and images in my head wont stop this feeling of constant emptiness wont stop i keep trying to forget but it keeps coming back i just want to hurt everyone to make myself feel better and i do sometimes i gave up trying to be a good person i want to be selfish and uncaring of everyone around me i want to focus on me i have no friends i dont need them i want to drink and do drugs anything to make me feel something different this world fucking sucks but i guess im just on the long ride to helland thats all i have to say,3.0
19626,mental block regarding talking to a professional i know people in my personal life and can see here as well who talk so favorably about seeing a professional to help with working through whatever is on your mindhowever the one road block i have in my mind is the idea of paying someone to listen to you  i keep going back to the idea that the person really doesnt care its their occupation and they care for as long as i would physically be there  but as soon as i walk out the door im alone again arent i,3.0
19627,yourdailytech you took me off your channel page  lol,2.0
19628,hellooooooooo my wonderful tweeps anyone miss me ,0.0
19629,uploading nowwwww  check my page xd,0.0
19630,idk what to do anymore throwaway  lying in bed trying to fall asleep after taking my meds thats suppose to help me knock out im so sad my body aches,3.0
19631,good bye my delicious bread ,2.0
19632,dayseluvsdmb hi dayse good to hear from u been on a roller coaster as of late no job  still  growing restless amp feeling like a bum ,2.0
19633,realhughjackman hey im a big fan and so is my mummy you did an awesome job in wolverine one my favourite movies ,0.0
19634,ok i tried  days agogot out with few scratches and a pump on my ridei dont have any friends to talk tomy brother thinks im just being lazy and naivemy dad thinks im lucky to have a job and a place to stay so i should stop whining he didnt say those words but i think thats shat he meanttoday i asked my colleague to submit my letter of resignationi have a shift in few hrs im scared cuz my brain womt stop thinking that it will be night tine and i can do whatever i wantim tiredso tiredidk if im being lazy or not but im tired,3.0
19635,so much fucking anxiety lol,2.0
19636,vent i mean im here,3.0
19637,school again im going back to school i have had gas issues since high school because of this im always in the back of the class holding in my farts  almost passing out  it got so bad i had a  hour lecture and i had to beg the teacher to let me record the lecture then go back the recorder when class was done  hiding in the bathroom to eat lunch because i cant sit in the cafeteria with other people i really thought by this stage in my life i would be over with this issue but im not and idk man life just kicking my ass again,3.0
19638,sonny with a chance ,0.0
19639,why was she so fake so ive been broken up for like  months this chick been using me to live at my house when she got kicked out and lied to me this whole time saying she was waiting for me she was even sending me videos of her thrush like wtf is wrong with her while the whole time she was seeing another guy then i got mad and harrassed her and im the bad guy here not like she lead me on for a solid  months im gonna kms,3.0
19640,i am tweetless ,2.0
19641,i cant get updates on my phone from other people for some reason ,2.0
19642,rt roswellwrites cw for sexual assault body horror and graphic depicitons of illness child death suicide and basically anything that,2.0
19643,mitchelmusso i did ,0.0
19644,trying to help other people but cant im happy and bubbly so i must know how to make others feel better is the reasoning they all come to me for help im assuming recently it hasnt been like that ive been stressed on top of stressed by so many different things from different parts of my life but people keep coming and they share with me all their sad stories and situations the worst part is that i empathize with them and understand why they want to do certain potentially harmful things more than i pity them enough to give helpful adviceit disheartens me so much to think that theres nothing for a person with the situation im described of to do i hate it i dont want to think that way at all especially at the expense of another person when theyre coming to me expecting some lifechanging advice maybe i used to be able to help other people and bring smiles back but now i feel like as a person who rarely smiles anymore i can only do more harm than good if i let people talk to me,3.0
19645,guittaraxx yeah neither have i id love too ive never been anywhere ,2.0
19646,melodyejoy wish it was tanning weather here  jelous,2.0
19647, bran lives in japan now  miss her sooooo much well both be navy wives someday soon,2.0
19648,the princess bride on right now on abc family  ,0.0
19649,its raining hard you guyz ,0.0
19650,my report card is badd ,2.0
19651,no soccer again today  my day is planned been wanting to do this for ages n i finally m having a lazy day in bed watching gos gal woop,2.0
19652,mickeygousset theres some seriously awesome stuff in there  im still digging around the ctp,0.0
19653,montelwilliams fisherhousefdtn im so sorry  ur lossim sure sylvia was there to greet her 🙏 depression plz rt ,1.0
19654,thx  jordieacosta i have the perfect crying soundtrack ilysm thx  feeding my depression bbg,1.0
19655,trentreznor bravo its a great win ,0.0
19656,on my way to work  still need to get mom something for mothers day,2.0
19657,i woke up craving a cali burrito so i think thats what im gonna aim for today  lol,0.0
19658,ugh thanks a lot roger you really annoyed me ,2.0
19659,coping with weed and stealing everytime i feel depressed i smoke or go steal i know some people that cope with smoking but i feel like im the only one that copes with stealing or just doing illegal stuff i love the rush can anyone relate,3.0
19660,phineas and ferb they say if you love something let it go especially if its a caveman teehee ,0.0
19661,hit the road jack covermuito bom  ♫ ,0.0
19662,brianneudorff good morning   been here since  just quiet  how are you,0.0
19663,rt sweatypalmszine sp vol  features more than  beautiful comics by  fantastic indie cartoonists visual storytelling gives a face,0.0
19664,i hate the weather in md all it does is rain i miss tx ,2.0
19665,i fucking hate my life two years ago i was so happy but ive lost everything since then i have been setback in every part of life academically financially relationship wise job wise and every day it feels like one more thingi feel like people in my irl life love and care about me and all and theyve been supportive regarding depression  but i feel like they think i should be over whatever it is that is making me feel so bad and im just not and i see no end of this sadness in sightim so sad,3.0
19666,extremely tired havin trouble keepin my eyes open ,2.0
19667,not impressed about being sick too busy this week to be sick panadol and bed ,2.0
19668,and beargrylls with willieferrell is starting  catch you later twitter,0.0
19669,primaveron i need them  it wouldve made my picture so much cooler mine are bottle green eeyeathooo,2.0
19670,meeting people i feel like i cant findmeet people who have similar interests   ,3.0
19671,usually gives good advice not this time i guess ,2.0
19672,i miss all my southern california friends soooooo much lately ,2.0
19673,got a gb test now ,2.0
19674,lows i get so high up in life so happy so free and then it feels like someone puts a stick in my bike spokes just thrown forward so tired of being thrown and then getting back on i just want to say on the ground and give up biking,3.0
19675,i feel sad but for a very stupid reason ,2.0
19676,rt taegidads this is so sad please everyone refrain from trending anything this is personal just send him prayers amp love but respect him,0.0
19677,i am a work martyr give me chocolate coffee and sympathy and now my cats decided shes dying ,2.0
19678,crisis number four a diary ive struggled with depression since i was  ive gone through a half dozen therapists without much success this is on me i like my current therapist but im unfortunately too poor to keep paying him the first crisis i had was when i was  i walked in front of a bus there was no trigger no reason i just wanted to see what would happen the bus screeched to a halt amp i stepped back onto the curb pretending i was drunk amp stupid i was stone sober number  came when i was twenty one i became obsessed with suicide i planned it over amp over again i wrote notes eventually i was caught by a close friend i went to hospital amp began on medication number three was in summer of this year i was faced with the very real reality of failing college i was failing because i didnt attempt my exams i had suicidal impulses at the mention of them i wrapped a belt around my throat amp tried to hang myself in a doorway it snapped number four is now ive finally stretched my friends to breaking point they wont speak to me i dont think im going to kill myself ive failed three times already my ego cant take another failure im going to leave the country im going to escape in the night leave no trace that i was ever there start again fresh ,3.0
19679,hungry dad went voting but he was back way to fast i wanted to do a video  oh well tuesday maybe ,2.0
19680,you miss  of the shots you dont take they saying is very true but misleading i took my shot today but im still shooting  almost a year of trying to build up the courage and i struck out the silver lining and why i think the saying is sorta misleading is that even if you miss and you crash and burn you are no longer stalledtbh right now im probably at one of my lowest points in over a year and im struggling to type this out but take your shot it might hurt it might feel like it couldnt get worse but try to look ahead because if youre like me the only person youre focused on is the one youve yet to ask asking will at least hopefully open up a new opportunity or two the worst part is all those nagging voices that said dont do it are now justified i dont know what im trying to do with this post maybe im just venting so i wont completely break idk do whats best for you even if it might hurt before it gets better good luck guysgirls ,3.0
19681,lost wftb  this is the last song hurley heard before his batteries died  ♫ ,2.0
19682,tunezworld because you werent on it like that so there wasnt an opportunity ,0.0
19683,amichalska great photos i like the  pic with the hands ,0.0
19684,what is your favorite song to listen to when ur sad — any song by chelsea cutler ,1.0
19685, the song is so good and it fits his voice very well ,0.0
19686,no outgoing connections to external email servers at marvell   weird enough twitter works fine,2.0
19687,i has a job i has a job i has a job ,0.0
19688,be back in a bit friends  carry on,0.0
19689,well im going off to summer school español nothing too great ,2.0
19690,jonathanlau beginning the portfolio overhaul i see nice ,0.0
19691,im so sick of my family and significant other being personally offended by my depression i have had depression for at least  years i am highly functional i go to work every day and i have hobbiesi work with my parents at the family business i dont mind it too much but sometimes i hit a low place and its hard for me to eat and sleep and i have a good cry i still show up and do my job every day howeverit absolutely fucking sucks that my parents get so personally offended by my depression what dont you like your job you make a lot of money here its a good job you have a good life as though my depression is caused by hatred for them and my job its so frustrating because i can never just express any negative feelings or talk about it to them without being criticized for itsame goes with my significant other i try to put on a happy face even when im having a bad time because if i dont and i try to mention that im having a depressive episode he takes it personally and thinks i am unhappy with him etcso unfortunately i have absolutely no one to talk to when im low i have a psychologist but its not the same my family and so do not even know i have a psychologist because it would offend them so much that i have mental issuessometimes i want to just drop everyone and everything and move across the country where i wont have to put up with this judgmental shit anymoredoes anyone else have this problem i dont know what to do honestly,3.0
19692,is depression constantfor no reason sorry if this is an ignorant question but i really dont know the answeri recently went to see a general doctor to see if there was anything in my bloodwork that would explain why i feel so shitty all the time there was nothing he asked me if anything else was wrong so i told him i felt depressed for a few monthsi cant even remember how long i told him that yeah i went through some personal things recently that were hard and that made me very sad but in addition to that i have moments where i wish i didnt exist i dont want to kill myself but i just dont want to exist i told him i feel like life events really affect me a lot more than they should and that i cant seem to let things go i told him that if some memory pops into my head it pretty much ruins my whole mood and i cant get it out he  told me that im young and better off than most people and so shouldnt focus on that kind of stuff and that when im older i wont think about it as mucham i really exaggerating i do have moments where i feel pretty neutral which is when i seem to tell myself that im fine and not depressed but when im sad i feel incredibly empty it feels like im some kind of ghost floating through the streets i watch the same shows over and over because it gives me comfort and because i cant even concentrate on a new show long enough to enjoy iti really dont mean to hurt anyone with this post so i hope it wasnt rude or ignorant after that doctor visit i cant help but feel like im not allowed to think im depressed because i have moments where im fine or because sometimes the sadness is due to a particular event i realize that youre apparently not supposed to try and diagnose people on here but i just want someones opinion,3.0
19693,hidad wasnt well tonight  his feet are  the size they should be and he was so cold all night i wrapped him in blanket and love,2.0
19694,pastorcortes get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
19695,imogenheap that would be nice  puts a track in a different light  x,0.0
19696,ouchie boo boo i really hurt my ankle ,2.0
19697,supercooperstar but edam doesnt come in  wheels it comes in balls damnit woman balls i retain my cheesewench title ,2.0
19698,family movie night  madagascar  quoti like em chunky i like em plumpyquot  hilarious ,0.0
19699,omg  just went skydiving  oh its empress by the way ,0.0
19700,jgoreham yeah its so frustrating man  but i used to do the same myself only because i was jealous amp living in such a shit country,2.0
19701,hate being at school when its hot  trying to convince my mam to have a barbaque for t ,2.0
19702,went to la today ♥  fun fun fun dont want this weekend to end ,2.0
19703,stupid hgtv has me wanting a story where s is having js bb and j is freaking out about s breathing in paint fumes ,2.0
19704,night everyone been a wonderful day hope all of you have a great night catch you all tomorrow until thenall the best ,0.0
19705,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
19706, of my friends are on vaca this week in another state this week is gonna suck ,2.0
19707,michelledk shes lee hyori most famous korean singer as you see i like many things asian among those i like asian music  shes hot,0.0
19708,currently,2.0
19709,hhh cant sleep ps i miss everyoneee ,2.0
19710,i feel like im missing a part of me i know it sounds weird but it feels like my entire world is in black and white and every task becomes just one more mundane thing i have to complete before i go to sleep ive been out of this experience once a few months back when i met a girl who changed everything for me but i later found out that she doesnt have any interest in me whatsoever i just want that feeling back for my world to take on some color ive already stopped putting effort in most of my daily tasks i just dont care about anything anymore i just assume if things get too bad ill just end my life so i dont have to deal with it anymore but i really enjoy having just one person to think about and to imagine myself with i dont know what i am going to do anymore things have been going downhill for a while help,3.0
19711,hey guess what i won one game of beer pong ,0.0
19712,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
19713,did something really really bad ive been pretty down lately amp by down i mean the worst you can get im pretty drunk  as i type this but ive been feeling really suicidal lately and just for the last  hours ive been taking pillsantidepressants with the alcohol im drinking but nothing is happening i just want to die ive taken avout  pills on top of the alcohol im drinking should i go to a hospital,3.0
19714,joedubz sounds like you need to change that then  thats what i had to do,0.0
19715,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
19716,happpyyyy showeerr then jon amp kate  ,0.0
19717,listening to all time low ,0.0
19718,  tree blown down in storm this afternoon in s beaverton i really like this tree  ,2.0
19719,got a blister on my finger from playing basket ball yesterday ,2.0
19720,��れ��good��日程 ,0.0
19721,jordanknight look for the truck amp fish sign in to next to tender love fr love songs its my favlol take care of your back ,0.0
19722,rt electroboyusa mental health is not a dirty word we all have mentalhealth like we do physical health good or ill  prince william,1.0
19723,rochfrey paolina is still looking for your other sock lol ,0.0
19724,back to my normal life which is a good life ,0.0
19725,so i want something from the internet i feel like using my moms debit card without asking hmm this is giving me ideas ,0.0
19726,i really realized its hard to be a big fan of baseball player sad news came twice this week,1.0
19727,still here confession mentalhealth depression surival httpstcosncwndycvn ,2.0
19728,mzi isnt he the same anymore  ,2.0
19729,rt balleralert augustalsina opens up about his depression and his liver disease with jadapinkett part  of  ,2.0
19730,  under the new  bridge from axo boat party a bit delayed but i just found it ,0.0
19731,gtvone dont worry ill think of you next follow friday ,0.0
19732, lol i was knocked out last night lol that mcds was good though i smashed just checked out that  now im extra jelly ,2.0
19733,ive lost myself as a person to depression my mind is very numb to everything each word that leaves my mouth seems generic and empty i used to have a plethora of goals and ambitions im sure but that doesnt even seem like me when i stop to think about it ive lost out on so many opportunities to depression and overthinkingthe other day i caught up with my high school friends we all sat and talked for a long time just talking about the past and what we used to do i used to be a person you know i used to be so sure of myself now i just feel so fucking numb if you asked me who i was id have no response for you my entire teenageadult life has been operating on  because its all i can fucking give im so angry and upset and tired all the time small mediocre tasks feel exhausting as hell i spent so long feeling sorry for myself i resent it i have lost myself to my suffering i know not what i want from my future i dont even picture a future i literally live my life on a day to day basis how do you build a future when you can barely keep your head above water,3.0
19734,i liked a youtube video httpstcoybkypqjrbs my depression story suicide and self hate,0.0
19735,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay httpstcowuyyrffbyn,0.0
19736,lol i think my coca cola addiction has gone too far me and sami had a fight over the last drop of coke and i spilled it on my keyboard ,2.0
19737,ab ke sawan jam se barse not yet ,2.0
19738, u left me last night ,2.0
19739,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
19740,loves how music makes everything bettereven just for a while ,0.0
19741,rt lightskinhenz depression sneaking back into my life ,0.0
19742,yesterday i was so happy today i am so empty lonely and upset depression has been taking the best of me lately when im alone in my house i feel so lonely and wish i could get out of it asap when im out with friends i regret going out and all i want to do is go home and sleep or cry ive been getting a lot of depressive episodes and they are getting worse each day today i feel so sad lonely and for some reason upset very upset im crying because i dont want to be alone yet im pushing away everyone in my life including my family and closest friends i dont know how to stop i dont know how to be able to talk to them and tell them im sorry i want them to understand its an episode and hopefully itll go away soon,3.0
19743,told a friend i was depressed a friend reached out after  days saying waddup i know you dont miss mei replied dafuq do you know i constantly text you and the one time i didnt we dont talk for  daysfriend replied well you didnt text me eitheri said i was depressed that i have been for a long time and that everyday it gets worse and worse and the reply i got was depressed about what you got an internship you are going to graduatei was dumbfounded can you guys tell me what you are depressed about can someone be depressed about something maybe im not depressed and suicidal maybe its all a fucking dream,3.0
19744,selenagomez thats just so unfair that people do that  im so sorry for the person who did this that they have nothing better to do,2.0
19745,watching celebrity wifeswap ,0.0
19746,work hours changed no spin class today ,2.0
19747,im unhappy where i am in life  never a girlfriend or kissed still a virgin and i live at home still i feel stuck in life tldr my group of friends are doing better than me my best friend is graduating pharmacy school another buddy works for a fortune  in denver me i live with my dad still im  and only now halfway done from just getting an associates in business at a community college cause i didnt have grades or money for vetter schooling  my moms been dead for  years so the only woman who loved me is now gone i have been working  for my dad for  years as a commission only salesman where im mediocre average at best i make less than  a year dont have a license im still a kissless virgin whose never had a girlfriend im  lbs and only  so im obese  and again zero decent looking girls like me life has been shitty for me so by the time i get a bachelors ill be  probably and still not know what career i want ,3.0
19748,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
19749,is wishing that i had a longer weekendugh those bad kids will be back today ,2.0
19750,kim taehyungs grandfather passed away and hes with the member of bts in the funeral today in daegu i love you httpstcowmofhangei,0.0
19751,back in the smog filled city of toronto no speeding tix for me ,0.0
19752,drsketchyphilly alas i am moving   like where im moving too but the actual moving ugh wish i could go too,2.0
19753,thought i was being sneaky by getting up early to have some peace amp quietbut noooo the boys woke up right when i did ,2.0
19754,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
19755,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
19756,effexor xr venlafaxine hcl er have you been prescribed this ever for your depression please share your experiences hirecently i decided it was time i needed to seek help for my depression and so i went and visited my gp for a psychiatry referral while there she prescribed me venlafaxine extended release previously i had tried sertraline hcl prozac but it was not effective for me effexor has had an affect immediately and now im starting to feel better and im able to do things again but i wanted to see if anyone here has also used it long term to treat their depression and can share their experience i have heard if you try to come off it the withdrawals are quite bad and you have to taper off very slowlyplease note i am just curious and will not alter my intake in anyway based on advice or stories posted here without first consulting my doctor,3.0
19757,if mrs lb could stay not here for another  minutes that would be grrreat ,0.0
19758,thepurplepurler bye lady we shall miss you this week  weeps into hangover tea xxx,2.0
19759,felt sick earlier this morning so i wasnt able to go to school i feel a lot better now but i got nothing to do ,2.0
19760,chilling at home and missing jj ,2.0
19761,on xbl for some call of duty before bed have to open tomorrow ,2.0
19762,cant figure out why nobody likes me so im a very lonely person dad left when i was very young i have no siblings and mother has severe psychological issues so its very hard to have a relationship with her she had trouble paying the rent and we moved a lot which meant i was forced to constantly make new friends i became very good socially and people seemed to like me everywhere i went i made friends quickly at each school i attended and if i stayed put long enough id make a lot of friends fast forward to today im in college and i dont have any friends i make acquaintances in my classes but thats all it is theyre usually not willing or too busy to hang out with me i approach women all the time and they always respond well  im a good looking guy but after texting them a few days they ghost me outside of school i work at a retail bank and i feel as if i perform well at my job customers and employees like me but thats as far as it goes i have no relationships with anyone and i feel like if i disappeared it wouldnt raise any alarms,3.0
19763,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
19764,aprilyim ou  bad luck take care,2.0
19765,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
19766,i agree with you  i trust putin before i trust any crooked democrat and even the hypocriteantiamericans obam ,0.0
19767,oh no what happened to nadal hes out the spice of french open is out why does it have to be soderling no fednadal match ,2.0
19768,rt letsboldlygo date someone who can fuck you harder than depression and anxiety can ever do,2.0
19769,its my first twitter ,0.0
19770,updating my twitter ,0.0
19771, haha youre terrible ,0.0
19772,rt liberteinfo there are two reasons why lenin is exploring the option of kicking assange out of the embassy his us master is as,0.0
19773,one of these days ill be over my depression,2.0
19774,like the sound of a tweet ,0.0
19775,cascandar ooh ooh i knowits a chicken yay me ,0.0
19776,mrceno hello u where have you been all day ,0.0
19777, just did my perm now lookin slick lol ,0.0
19778,why do i feel like i dont deserve anything recently i got a girlfriend and i really love her but feel as though i truly dont deserve her shes too nice when im angry too kind when im sad etc i feel as though i truly dont deserve the good things life gives me,3.0
19779,joaquinkuttel puta que sad,2.0
19780,still hangin in there  missin my friends ,2.0
19781,bad times i havent had a job for a while  ive applied to places its just that no one wants to hire me  now with everything shut down i definitely cant find a job  i dont know what to do with my life  i just sit in my room all the time with nothing to do  im literally laying in bed right now crying  jesus christ i just hate myself so much why cant anything ever go right  why does no one want me,3.0
19782,she seriously looked so sad and hurt 😅,2.0
19783,dreshot  lol a girl can always use a compliment ,0.0
19784,approved mental health professional  older peoples service  holmfirth  militaryemergencygovernmentjob ,0.0
19785,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
19786,french revision is eating me alive people  its not goodi wanna play football like a lad should on a sunny day ,2.0
19787,pirateide oh gotcha i dont know why i got all excited thinking you got a kitten ,0.0
19788,another video trying to communicate an experience httpstcobeowzudpnl panic panicattack mentalhealth anxiety anxietyproblems,2.0
19789,my chest hearts i think i can finnaly  die without disappointing my family now ,3.0
19790,why do people always point at others instead of apologizing for their own mistakes ,2.0
19791,just bought our tickets for csts cant stop the serenity for  ,0.0
19792,calicg lmao  i think ive had one to many redvines lol it late,0.0
19793,srsly its almost monday again ,2.0
19794,aaahhhhh i am sooo angry i feel like crying why dont people listen to me ever even when i ask for the tiniest things ,2.0
19795,off to a good start how do i keep it going i am really new here but ive heard good things about this subreddit and would love your input i have been in a really dark place lately i quit my job a while ago and have been doing nothing but sleeping fitfully overeating and staring at the tv mindlessly however this week i have gotten some wind in my sails i am actually sleeping well eating right and am currently working on deep cleaning my apartment i even went for a hike yesterday im just scared because ive seen this cycle many times before i get excited im gonna start nailing life and its gonna be great that lasts for about a week and then i go right back into the deep spiral of depression anyone have any advice on how i can break the cycle and continue my positive journey i would love any and all advice,3.0
19796,boo mondayyouve come too fast again ,2.0
19797,rygledhill i have the best best driving song to put on a mix for you ,0.0
19798,nmseq  so sorry about your eye ulcer  is there anything that can be used to help like a salve or drops or warm compress hugs,2.0
19799,gonna go fitting baju soon hope it wont upset me again ,2.0
19800,i just want some person to talk to i am  l will keep it short and simple l am a male was born in  my dad is an alcoholic and abusivemy mom got us out of that place when l was  but my mom is more like too harsh for the past  years l have been working on my self studying up to  hours a day just to get high marks to impress my mom or my dad but no they keep saying that l am not good enough today l got in a argument with my mom and my heart felt like l just killed someone so l went to apologise but l got kicked in the stomach and got scremead on by my sisters and they keep blaming me for everything all my friends are fake and even the teachers hate me its soo bad that it reached to the point where l start blaming myself for everything l was always picked on and builied in schooleveryone literally hates me but l want to make it life so l can get out of this shit hole l live in l want to become the next big name but its impossible if l keep thinking l am not enough and people keep telling me l am not enough l show the people a different side of me because l dont want them to see my actual life and they complain about the most stupidest stuff like they only slept for  hours and there dad screamed at them to get up l barley sleep  hours l sleep ate  wake up at  am and study until  then go to school and get picked on and surround myself around a bunch of fake people and then l come home study have an argument with someone and start thinking that l am worthless and l want to kill myself to make these people feel regret l just want a person to talk to one person to listen to me without neglecting me or shouting at my face fuck my life l hate it l need help l know no one will probably respond just like the rest of people in my life fuck l cant l am done,3.0
19801,around and then goin with sar bear ,0.0
19802,too tired to get upgotta start makin some moves work later ,2.0
19803,sooo tired  the thunderstorm kept me up all night  ,2.0
19804,mothers day at the spit was awesome  listening to paranoid by the jonas brothers ,0.0
19805,hydrielalmeth i wouldnt be surprised its been going around ,2.0
19806,rt drdenisemd your support for raising awareness of the importance of mental health leaves me with a smilegratitude ,0.0
19807,something has changed in my head i dont know why or when i started feeling this way but lately ive been having a lingering feeling of finality as if i have a last chance to do something else it will be the end everything will be over ill be done finishedis this what its like to be suicidal i never felt like taking my life not now not before not even through the worst episodes and i dont even have a definition for what the end looks like i just feel it will happen,3.0
19808,woken up by hershey ,0.0
19809,josallethegreat i thought we were supposed to make those ,2.0
19810,freddela for france only ,2.0
19811, yum crunchy nut i had toast this morning coz i ran out ,2.0
19812, haha awe its bc of that damn bright room too bad im stuck at work i wish i was there instead ,2.0
19813,new server new drives new server backup system this is not going to happen again this week   stay tuned for an announcement dr ,0.0
19814,a rare day ive been more productive today than ive be all last year i cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and did laundry now im brushing my hair the only people who understand this victory are the people here so i wanted to share because im proud of myself and no one around me realizes how big of a deal this is for me ,3.0
19815,salmon is only good in nigiri sushi what a disgusting way to find out ,2.0
19816,i want help but i dont want any kind of medication hey depressioni feel like i need to finally reach out because its reached a point to where i cant help myself anymoreto give you a little background i am currently a member of the us military i am  and also have chronic kidney disease which prohibits me from becoming a pilot and making a career changemy job isnt terrible but rather the place im at and the people that im around constantly remind me that something isnt right over the past two years ive had many suicidal thoughts and different encounters of depression i keep all these in a journal of which i track and date today i made another entry because i felt the suicidal tendencies once againi havent told anybody about this and i dont trust anyone if i want to have certain job i cant tell somebody that ive had depression or i take pills  i will instantly get disqualified and it will hinder my future career optionsfurthermore when i get out my choices for a job is severely limited its been giving me a lot of anxiety i feel hopeless and trapped with no one to talk to and on top of that i dont think the va is going to compensate me for my kidney diseasei want to seek help but medication frightens me i just dont know if its worth it anymore,3.0
19817,hate spammers now i should change my email ,2.0
19818,watching knowing with maia ,0.0
19819,my poor baby must be so sad right now my thoughts and prayers are with him,1.0
19820,calebftsk  only people like trace cyrus get face tattoos ,2.0
19821,fuck you taco bell for getting rid of the spicy chicken burrito ,2.0
19822,okaboomz your mental health is more important than streaming so take care ,0.0
19823,what are your experiences with therapy in the uk ive been battling this alone for long enough and i dont really have anyone to talk to about it i dont feel like my partner would really listen i know this from past experiences i dont like telling my parents about this stuff since they usually make it about themselves my close cousin is going through her own breakdown and my best friend has cancer id feel like a bit of an arsehole unloading my stupid feelings on them just wondering what your experiences are like ive found somewhere local that offers £ one to one sessions but im worried that im not severe enough i dont wanna rant to some bloke whos gonna sit there trying not to roll his eyes at me i also want to avoid going through the nhs  because they let me down in the past said id receive a referral to cahms never received one and heard nothing from anyone went back years later and they gave me a weeks worth of diazepam and that was it if they didnt want to help me as a child they wont want to help me as an adult  waiting list is probably long  im too embarrassed to tell a doctor ,3.0
19824,everythings fucked again hi im not particularly scared of corona virus i try to be careful tho not to spread it if i have it and i dont know about it and not to catch it but the thing is our country is on total lockdown our school is sending us shit ton of homework i cant see my therapist ive been suicidal for a really long time but everything started getting better in last few months but now its back to the old rails im stuck in the house just lying in my bed crying i can go out but at what cost i dont wanna fo this anymore everything feels so distant everythings closed i know the quarantine is useful for the situation but i guess its gonna cost me my life or at least my mental health it just feels so unfair i was working on myself for a really long time and suddenly everythings fucked again i dont wanna get better only to fall a crumble apart again,3.0
19825,bendels rly me get money  seeee i said you youre way too nice dory damn right well rock up those foreign countries,0.0
19826,updating my cv again ,2.0
19827,is thinking she might need a walk in a bit its too nice to stay inside ,0.0
19828,it can be better hiafter  years of treatment and searching for scheme that works i can say that for now i feel good id passed through this alone i can live a normal life i guess just want to say dont give up it can be better its hard but possible,3.0
19829, if u find itcould u send me the link that would be so nice ,0.0
19830,soapdeli so bummed keep attempting to open your friends blog but it keeps crashing out in ie  ,2.0
19831,whens the other shoe going to drop all things considered im doing pretty well i went on a couple of dates this past week with a really cool girl i passed an important test fsot ive had some good social interactions with people i like i am a bit sick but im on the mendall i can think about is when is the other shoe going to drop life under the shoe makes sense at least its terrible but bearable this newfound good situation is fraught with possible failures at any moment i could fuck it all up and thats the thing im just doing better because my circumstances are marginally better because im a slave to my circumstances if things get worse im now fucked whereas when everything was shitty more shit didnt move the needle,3.0
19832,janinecasas hey jan schools ok lang well just started so wa pa au stuff hehe hope itll be easy hehehe ,0.0
19833,mileycyrus what are you doing in germany  hope you have a great time there ,0.0
19834,cag presentation went well  hour drive home sucked ass seeing ashley when i got home was awesome  off to cedar point tomorrow,0.0
19835,the only reason i havent killed myself is because im a coward suicide permeates my thoughts more than i can keep track most of the time i despise being alive but in the rare moments of clarity the thought is still there its always there inserting itself between thoughts weaving itself into the lyrics of a song im listening to i cant escape it but no matter how many times ive come to the brink i never do itbecause i think ill fuck it up like i do everything else what if i do it fail and then live in a greater hell than im in now that would be my luck i just want to stop hurting all the time i want it all to stop i cant handle it but the burden of living continues to grow even as its already crushing me,3.0
19836,watching tennis final djokovicnadal ,0.0
19837,manishsinha its worth the trouble ,0.0
19838,rt healingmb i used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone its not the worst thing mentalhealthawareness depre,2.0
19839,so sad i couldnt get tix for this one but i hope you have the best time performing here aquariaofficial  💘,0.0
19840,another lovely day  x,0.0
19841,mhatpolicy govabbott mhatexas proud to joint author thank you  great mental health legislation ,2.0
19842,my back is hurty ,2.0
19843,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
19844,fuck dad has taken a funny turn and is being taken to hospital again he is in norway atm ugh im going to hurl ,2.0
19845,kirstymciver text me i cant text you back but do it anyways cause i wont be able to speak to you tonight ,2.0
19846,not too happy  found out my small oil leak is a big oil leak and now need to fix that ,2.0
19847,at  arrivals waiting for tapps ,0.0
19848,i liked a youtube video   signs of performance anxiety,2.0
19849,wow running into work super late need to remember that today is friday not saturday ,2.0
19850,skipped music and went to merlis hookah and tequila on the school day rebelitest parmud ,0.0
19851,i have a blister on my toeee ,2.0
19852,nice moms day  moms had a smile nnniiiccceee watchin american gangster high off that u kno it,0.0
19853,i really wanted  c transformers   ,2.0
19854,rt skcar mercury was in gatoradeall is right again httpstcondukmwihqk,0.0
19855,is it a good thing to write the things that make you depressed and your negative thoughts on notes and keep it with you i used to talk with my friend about these thingsbut i felt like i was annoying him  and like i was a burden so i stopped and to replace it i started writing it and keeping it with me i would like to know if this is something that i should stop because it will worsen things or make them better,3.0
19856,holy awesome leonard nimoy  also thought i spied george takei in there but google has proven me wrong ,2.0
19857,such wisdom from such a young person ❤️ ,0.0
19858,thatguyfsuatl that was really sad ,2.0
19859,pkgulati stockholm not lost just very very tired lots of work travel and such in the last few days ,0.0
19860,zackalltimelow stupiddd people haahah ,0.0
19861,going to the beach i really wish i was going to melissas crocheting party ,2.0
19862,out of all the members i think we know the least about who are sugas friends but apparently he helped suran get through her depression,1.0
19863,declanshalvey yea youre right its shite ,0.0
19864,short and purple hair  summer hairforever young ,0.0
19865,racchhhaaeell my ear hurts ,2.0
19866,therealkg kg i wish you were playing  but the celtics will win give them kgs strength,2.0
19867,just got scammed for a boat load of money and im feeling terrible about it just got scammed for  and i have almost no money left nowfeelings of depression are getting reawakenedseriously thats so much money for me thats  cheeseburgers in the country i live in,3.0
19868,princesscharl s runs a club where you can buy that months specially designed fibre good job she does not do a yarn one ,0.0
19869,i have dreams about being in a relationship honestly i feel so alone and its honestly gotten to a point where it kreeps itself into my dreams like in my dream i just had i dreamt that i looked at my phone and just saw that people had messaged me its just sad that i have these dreams and wake up hating my life feels like ill be alone forever and my mind is taunting me with it,3.0
19870,wants to get sims  ,2.0
19871,angels and demons then the hangovergonna be a good day ,0.0
19872,its been a good day so far ,0.0
19873,mama g rocks  shes a beautiful woman inside and out   xoo melissakmhall,0.0
19874,im sad cant believe this is happening to him its sad going back and seeing that something similar happened st httpstcohkxlnwphbb,1.0
19875,colourfulponies i got left out when everyone went and saw it ,2.0
19876,is so excited for indies big debut tomorrow ,0.0
19877,its another side of me im acting out ,0.0
19878,no exercise this morning having a well earned little lay in have little legs cold not impressed with that pass me the beechams ,2.0
19879,im sick of this and i loathe myself every day feels monotonous i just want to feel happy every time i give myself something to look forward to i start to feel happiness but every single time it either backfires or i fail miserably its hard enough for me to come out of my shell but when i do i just get myself hurt and make it even harder to try to get out of this long rutstruggle im to the point where it dosent feel like im able to be truly happy and im just giving up on it i feel like a fuck up like everything i try to do for myself fucks up,3.0
19880,princessparadox that is the problem there isn´t any guy ,2.0
19881,my hairi look like a boy now ,2.0
19882,crazyconnie going batty but of course im a nut breaker keeps kickin have to turn ac off ,2.0
19883,andyscandies i was out on thursday and u didnt dance with meeeee  im takin salsa lessons soon so watch outtttttt lol,2.0
19884,feeling flat hi guys these last  weeks i have been feeling really emotionless situations and other things that should make me happy as well as things that should make me sad just receive no reaction or emotion i thought it was just me until my partner pulled me up on it the other day and i realised im just flat lining through each day with no ups or downs has anyone else experienced this as well as what are your ways to change it,3.0
19885, im not judging  lol in fact that sounds like something i would do,0.0
19886,angharadevans me too that and whats my age again have got to be my favourites ,0.0
19887,paulmorristim cheapest copy of purushas divine androgyne on amazon  ,2.0
19888, so far so good  ,0.0
19889,flyddw surprisingly not  while i do have an ipod touch i havent drunk the iphone kool aid waiting for the nex httpbitlyajheg,0.0
19890,randiwade forget my damn charger at home  i feel so disconnected,2.0
19891, oh thank you ,0.0
19892,anybody else feels like they have too many traumas to live with i feel like the shit that happened to me is just too much and i will never be able to recover,3.0
19893,at work  cant wait for my rafael nadal biography arrives ,0.0
19894, i went and saw adventureland tonight you were amazing ,0.0
19895,feels like im under water everywhere i go it feels like theres something in between me and others im in the same room but separated i smile and am polite but im just doing what i have to in order to function and survive it feels like theres water surrounding me and that im engulfed in it i remember times that i felt better than this  its not necessarily for forever but for now yes i just wanted to say how it feels ,3.0
19896,is chillin at the house having a good time watching seinfeld ,0.0
19897,sexta feiraa  followfriday britneyspears brunoinsiders loosho portfreak realbritannica ,0.0
19898,natejonestx did she tell you we ran out of gas because i am stupid anyway she is safely at home now  so am i,0.0
19899,tomgriffola ha and it is wicked awesome like light refracted off a crystal or a pink floyd album cover ,0.0
19900,i fail at everything all my life the one thing ive been afraid of is failure and yet i cant seem to do anything but fail i feel like a mistake like nothing i do matters like all ill ever be is a failure and every single day i ask myself why am i here is there a point to struggle through another day what is the point of life is it just to suffer i think allot of things unfortunately none of them good and i need help i just dont know how long i can keep going,3.0
19901,getting back from santis house man im beat ,2.0
19902,lewishowes  no one asked me to   if it were soonish id visit ,2.0
19903,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
19904,um so im still trying to pack the computer keeps me busy and i cant get anything done ,2.0
19905,shit i miss my guitar ,2.0
19906,trying to help myself i try and pick up my guitar once a week and play for at least an hour i dont play near as creatively as i used to and the magic just doesnt seem to be happening ive been making a list of things i used to like such as aimless driving listening to music and skateboarding and video editing it feels forced for sure but im afraid of losing all interest in anything my question is will forcing myself to do these things help get me back to who i used to be if i keep doing it will the magic come back ,3.0
19907,whats the link between creativity and depression ,2.0
19908,out to dinner ,0.0
19909,why am i up with my east coast tweeps certain someone decided they cant sleep ,2.0
19910,  i miss my girls ,2.0
19911,on the hunt for some purple finger nail polish got to get cute for this wedding ,0.0
19912,why do i suck at killing myself so i fail at everything ironically when i try to end this failure i even fail at that i tried hanging myself which only resulted in brief chocking scars and neck problems i literally drank bleach the worst pain of my life i oded which was surprisingly painless i tried slitting my wrists but that shit dont work i really dont wanna die in a painful way but i feel as though i am not of options i cant purchase a firearm because of my  and  and  so a good headshot is unavailable not here for help just want some creative ideas btw i am a psychology and philosophy major and i feel as though my actions of suicide are extremely self centered but speaking as a stao above all else isnt this my decision and the people who i leave behind in this material world completely my choice so why do i feel so much guilt about trying to kms i know they will be better off and i honestly have dont have any non immediate family that will miss me tldr we sad bois ,3.0
19913,you ever just feel so fucking alone  and like you hate every one in this world no one more than yourself i feel im just living to die when i was  i told myself i was still a kid i had my whole life ahead of me  now im  in denial about it have dreams that will never come to fruition  have dropped all my friends that gave me anxiety which was all except for one and i  spend my days pretty much isolated looking up videos that make me cry or i guess more accurately i cry at videos even ones that shouldnt make me cry i read articles on daily mail and i wonder on an unhealthy level about the families of the men and women that get killed in freak accidents or are murdered by people they trusted i feel like im not that far fetched to think that  true happiness is hardly a thing that at best its  fleeting id like to believe its a plausible idea that l i mean in theory sounds achievable but what is the actual threshold  if it having money  stability people you can trust  because for example there has to be a serial killer out there that finds joy in playing god right i  mean what im asking is its all relative right i just think even the most successful people gotta wonder like is this it  and does convincing yourself you are happy actually work i just dont buy it i imagine a life where you feel you have everything can feel incredibly repetitive and mundane and then i see people who find meaning in god and im like i want to agree with you but you cant tell me you know  that dying isnt just falling into silence  ugh im sorry this is starting to sound like stoner talk if theres any one that feels like me i just wanted to say hi nice to meet you i hate myself too ,3.0
19914,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
19915,apparently its about celebrities i dont know any celebrities ,2.0
19916,day  last night  i dont want tonight to end its been amazingggg stayawake,2.0
19917,my little niglet has a bald spot from pulling her own hair ,2.0
19918,new found hatredextreme pet peeve i now hate when people say  im so depressed etc etc i want to flip shit on them and tell them what it really feels like when i hear people talking about that and then promptly go out and socialzing while im over here avoiding going out and only wanting to sleep i dont have it as bad as others here but its affecting my  everything ,3.0
19919,grr why are you so adorable i cant ever keep you out of my mind  ,0.0
19920,no one who loves me this world feels useless without any love im  and no matter how nice i am because i want people to be happy they seem to treat me like shit dont assume i have parents or much family what is the point ,3.0
19921,i gotta edit this video for history classits worth  test grades ,0.0
19922,whitefolkz you know i have to hear that because it sounds like it goes along wit my style ,0.0
19923,honestly disappearing forever doesnt sound so bad right now i cant sleep right anymore waking up every few hours from a nightmare about her to cold sweat and a pillow full of tears is taking its toll on me i kept having the same nightmares every time i close my eyes i kept seeing her with someone else in my nightmares and i know shes probably with someone else in my reality too it hurts the most when you know she has moved on how could she move on so fast we broke it off for a few days and shes already talking to someone new was it really love if she could just move on that fast from a  years relationship  years and it only took her a few days to start talking to someone new i know i did many things wrong and i regret every single one of them but how can she just throw away  years full of memories for a new person just like that the pain is too much my head hurts my heart hurts everything hurts ive been spiraling with hard drug abuse and i dont know if i can take it anymore i told myself i would never touch those substances ever in my life yet here i am abusing everything i could get my hands onshe had blocked me on everything and i have no way to contact her it fucked me up knowing how i was the one she came to at  when she needed me the most the one that i held on right when she had nightmares but also the one who disappeared when i felt the lowest and loneliest i just hope i could call her and maybe hearing her voice would stop me from ending it all one day maybe she could convince me to keep living and the pain will subside but for now i hope it will look like an accident,3.0
19924,salutation twitter ,0.0
19925,meet up in arizona im in my  and recently went through a major life change that has helped with my depression if anybody over  around arizona wants to talk and maybe eventually meet up then pm me,3.0
19926,good morning   the girl goes shopping in stuttgart later that day my boyfriend comes home from italia ceahxoxo,0.0
19927, roo to the bruhz loved seeing yall owt on  ooproo ,0.0
19928,i wish i had a blackberry ,2.0
19929,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
19930, i feel like theres something missing and thats why my depression has spiked within the last year,1.0
19931,jekegg hows ur day anyway hope it was great na ja ,0.0
19932,im bored a lucky few of you may find that ive drawn you ,0.0
19933,casystems i did infact put a disclamer for  users to upgrade but still need to support them a while longer so we wont lose any money ,2.0
19934,lozzy my battery died too need to buy a new one before glasto ,2.0
19935,michalabanas  honey the whole world is way too pc  for my liking  ,0.0
19936,its not early enough for people to be ringing doorbells is itt ,2.0
19937,fuck when you have too many people on all your social media so you have to come to reddit just to say you wanna kill yourself 🤪😍😋🥰🤪😋😍😋but seriously tho im getting low low and im really feeling like i want to die fuck fuck fuck not a single person wants to hear about how sad i am and tbh i get it and i respect it,3.0
19938,thiagofish hehe   beijos,0.0
19939,have you ever have your felt alone in a crowded room like no matter how many people are around friends or family you cant help but feel empty and alone inside you think just being around others can help fill that empty void but it only makes you feel more lonely than before and you regret ever hanging out and all you wanna do is go home and lay in bed all day and see time pass you by and wonder why you feel the way you do,3.0
19940,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,2.0
19941,felt like looking nice today now i just feel embarrassed for being dressy ,2.0
19942,off to run the race for life in a bit i cant see myself doing it tbh i havnt done sports in like a month so unfitttt ,2.0
19943,i love being different ,2.0
19944,why am i sad even when i am happy i find my self sad all the time today me and my friends were playing in the snow but i still felt sad like i was worthless these are my best friends ive known since  gradei am  male  foot   lbsi find my self overeating sleeping often and not enjoying anything please tell me whats wrong do i have depression ive had a history with it but i think its gone away ,3.0
19945,socalpie youre always welcome prettypie i  you ,0.0
19946,my poor garden is being rained to death  and my hummingbird family has gone into hiding im up to  of them now oh my,2.0
19947,my word is hot out there worth it though  now have loadsacider and pzzzzza,0.0
19948,seancarmody omg i am so jealous tom was and always will be my dr  i started watching with him way back when ,0.0
19949,is watching mickey mouse with the kids ,0.0
19950,rt forrevrr dumb ass ,0.0
19951,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
19952,totally watching greaseoh what a way to start my friday night ,0.0
19953,mewithoutyous quotthe fox the crow and the cookiequot  outstanding  ,0.0
19954, if u c ménage a trois red wine get a bottle i think u might like it its cheap but good  ,0.0
19955,mileycyrus   love the scenerysp its gorgeous not so much the same thing with the face ,2.0
19956,bedtime  goodnight breakfast with chey in the morning,0.0
19957,mileycyrus  where are u goen now,2.0
19958,good morning enjoying some coffee  ,0.0
19959,why younis why  ,2.0
19960,petersantilli i wish  i do some pr work the site must say it is a thrill helping get the word out on iran events,0.0
19961,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,2.0
19962,i get the worst anxiety missing events that i deem important amp its never my fault sigh,2.0
19963,getting off my computer  i feel like talking pn the phone tonight  call me ,0.0
19964,everytime i misspeak or have to repeat myself i beat myself up i want to be perfect and when i cant it depresses the hell out of me what do i do anything from being a few minutes late or forgetting something can ruin my whole mood i try every day to do everything perfectly i know its impossible but i feel like its the only way ill accept who i am,3.0
19965, abych se do toho poustela tak sem ji od te doby nevidela ,2.0
19966,mayats good girl ,0.0
19967,jemmamama i was talking about the phone loli fink ive reached my limit  just wasting time now ,2.0
19968,i am not in the mood to iron ,2.0
19969,alyssaasen awwwwww shnapp jubbliesssss all day ,0.0
19970,loneliness makes me want to die im  still in uni no career working a retail job ive pretty much never had any friends and never had a gf and the loneliness and anxiety of being an outcast just makes me want to kill myself i see other people in their social groups and couples and i just think why cant that be me im not that bad i deserve happiness as much as the next person the only reason i havent done it yet is because my parents would be all alone,3.0
19971,morrica good morning morrica ,0.0
19972,first day of school check thesis ongoing hah so much to do ,2.0
19973, donholtmac rlbays  tertiusiii infidelbyfaith  rorylane  httpstcondktlbbvjn,0.0
19974,redsoxmonkey i love that song ,0.0
19975,  aahi want this tee for fiance ,0.0
19976,party hopping all day ,0.0
19977,i want to watch newport harbour but mtv took it off their list of tv shows ,2.0
19978,former nhler theo fleury on how depression ended his career a fascinating story about former nhl theo fleury,3.0
19979,self loathing life story no stable job for  no relationship for  no life for  years  and ready to gofrom new years to now march  i am still unemployed have earned nothing since xmas  not even welfare i havent visited the doctors or spoken to anyone about it i have burned through  of the money that i saved i have regular panic attacks and am terrified of picking up the phone i rarely leave the house i am living with my mother i dont sleep often im tired i dont want to live i have and always will be a lazy incompetent selfdestructive stupid waste of life a failure with no hope of succeeding i dont want to talk to any professional about it because everything has been my own fault i am the only one to blame and still continue to do these things never learning from my mistakes i am fundamentally broken i cant be fixedi have been planning my suicide since i was  on terms that if i had not succeeded in getting a stable full time job  found a girlfriend  found some happiness by  i would kill myself that year and absolutely nothing has changed since thenim out fuck it,3.0
19980,heathcrush good thanks ,0.0
19981,i thought i would be fine if i didnt make new friends since i already had some but then they all left im  i had the same group of friends since im  i never had a big social circle because the one i had was fine for me but the past few years they eventually got new friends in their study field got girlfirends etc but i didnt i kept talking to them but eventually it felt like it was a one way effort with all of them some of them are still friends with each other but i got left out along the way i guess now i can have a conversation with people in my classes at uni but no connections the closest thing i have to friends are the  yo regulars at my job that strike a conversation once in a whilewhen im not at work or in class i just sit alone wondering what the fuck happened i try to make friends but no one seems to be interested in the idea so i just want to give up and be okay with that factit sucks because i like to talk to people i just cant seem to open up to people who i dont feel comfortable with and im literally garbage at smalltalk so once the reason why im talking to a stranger ie helping someone in class i feel like i have nothing to say at all and it just endssorry if that kind of problem is not as bad as suicidal thoughts or other things i sometimes see in here but i thought it could help to talk about it ,3.0
19982,lucascruikshank holy im so there  ,0.0
19983,i havent this much in forever ugh ,2.0
19984,hahah different words mean different things different people are stupid in different ways ,0.0
19985,someone i met online has stopped talking to me so now i have no one to talk to im hoping i can talk with you guys here i feel like my depression has gotten worse again it was better a month or two ago when my antidepressant dose was increased but now the first school term is over and im  weeks behind on all  subjects im doing this is my  last year of school im doing year  subjects but one year  chemistry to get the prerequisite for medicine in  i need to catch up with all my subjects by april  or i fail this year and my parents will be disappointed in me i just want to die i just want to go to sleep and never wake up i just want to cease to exist this is too hard ,3.0
19986,rorywallace  ahaha no man hope you find it useful ,0.0
19987,imaabdul lisabdul aha so thats the reason  ,0.0
19988,zawadiftikhar is it possible to run game on    card ,2.0
19989,i couldnt sleep  but i just love being at home   but still i got a few battles to win in kalisz  im really tired of this shit ,0.0
19990,my facebook aint working  anybody else having trouble signing in,2.0
19991,why go to a  theater and spend almost   to view a possibly good movie after a  hour of previews commercials  the cell phones ,2.0
19992,maximopark wish i could be there  have a great one and make sure you play limassol ,2.0
19993,johnyeng yep  hehe thats right its going cool man d,0.0
19994,this is exactly y i hate driving thru dandy  sittin at lights next to a car of asians who r callin out to me amp  held up a knife  scum,2.0
19995,the joys of not sleeping and a large movie collection is random quotes httpwwwsubzincom helps you connect to which film ,0.0
19996,kerry ellis last show as elphie was  undiscribable she is amazing  so sad to see her leave wicked though  ,2.0
19997, our plans changed amp we arent able to see transforers tonight sorry justcherie ampbrittanyko make it up to you,2.0
19998,louisemayes dont blame you  might as well whilst it lasts ,0.0
19999,helping with my girlfriends depression hi redditi just really needed some help my girlfriend and i have been in a long distance relationship for about  years now throughout this time she has told me the way she really benefits from being told reasons why she is loved not worthless cared about etc my problem is that i am completly awful with my words and no matter what i do instead of being there and supporting her i overthink everything i take things personally i dont know what to say half of the time and for some reason i try so hard to reach into myself and say something supportive but nothing comes out nothing works and i just panic and say pointless things that make no impact while she is stuck feeling bad and i just feel so awful that i fail to support her in the way she needs something that i try to constantly remind myself is to vocally tell her all the positive things i think about her but i slip up and forget to mention them constantly i forget to call her first text her first be there for her first all the time i have been a loner for most of my life and coming out and being talkitive and supportive in a way other than physical affection is so hard for me for some reason she doesnt always like physical comforting a friend of hers she is able to be so much more open to she is able to tell him how she feels he is able to sometimes talk to her and support her and help her feel better it feels like i should know her by now and everytime she doesnt tell me something i take it personally i know she doesnt mean to not tell me on purporse im just providing an example at this point i am considering therapy or just anything to help me be supportive in the way she needs me to be im just not sure what to do or how to change she is going to therapy next month i know she is doing all she can but regardless i know i have to change too for our relationship sake are there any tipssuggestions things i can do to improve myself i love her so much and i just want to be a better boyfriend for heralso i am sorry if this is the wrong reddit to post too as far as i know i dont think i have depressionthank you for reading,3.0
20000,shes kept me alive for years abbey was born halloween  and we got her in spring  no dog has ever given more pure love than abbey i woke up this morning to my baby paralyzed in  of her legs the prognosis isnt great but please prayhope for heri fear the days i have to get by without her,3.0
20001,mpolinar haha direct message me your address ill send one over ,0.0
20002,anybody else have amazing dreams that seem to contrast what your life is actually like  i keep having these amazing dreams where im having the best times ive never had seeing places that look amazing helping people and even falling in love then i wake up and back to reality and hits me again that ill never truly experience anything like that and my life is dull is this common  ,3.0
20003,up is such a great film ,0.0
20004,earth below us drifting falling floating  calling coming home ah i screwed it up ,2.0
20005,rt iyliasyazwanie she looked so sad i took her out once we were done and her husband didnt even bother to look up so i said encik you,1.0
20006,is in the weirdest good mood  anything could happen ,0.0
20007,zezura i plan on watching him this week and hoping he will grow on me  hope the guest list will be good,0.0
20008,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
20009,even if its actingit still broke my heart ,2.0
20010,one gear baby ,0.0
20011,kokcng i know its so easy to procrastinate ,2.0
20012,rt  the best thing was  superb dance moves amp his amazing expression i was breathlessly following his every expres,0.0
20013,im so fucking sad i cant,2.0
20014,elenakimou i hope you feel better ,2.0
20015,im really happy today today is a day where i am exceptionally happy im sorry to everyone who cant feel like this i cant even claim to have been there but i have been low before i have had thoughts of suicide but not right now,3.0
20016,great way to end my day ,2.0
20017,researching community development models ,0.0
20018,do therapy sessions work im  im really unhappy with existing i constantly feel low i have no social life or friends even when i did  i had no interest in going out ive recently gone through a breakup and its made everything worse my heart feels like it cant take no more and ive got classes everyday which i dont want to do im just sticking in it for the last  months i dont feel any joy anymore should i see a gp do therapy sessions work i dont see what they could tell me that i already know exercise go out and do things  talk about how im feeling im pretty self aware what are things youve done that have worked ,3.0
20019,muscles are sore ,2.0
20020,appears even wearing vampirestrength sunblock to have got burnt   pass the calamine,2.0
20021,im tearing up he must be so sad rn pls hug him tightly,1.0
20022,freshleafdesign haha as usual melanie you are waaaay too kind but thank you ,0.0
20023,  crazy cousin ,0.0
20024,life after depression ive struggled with my mental health more or less since i was  im  now and ive finally come to the realisation that im deliberately keeping myself in this state of mind because its safei legitimately dont know what id be without my depression i dont have any education to fall back on i havent spoken to my friendspeople i used to associate with in  years at a minimum and even longer for the people i used to call friendseven if i wanted a different life i dont know where to start im the kind of person ive come to learn that needs structure to function even if a scheduled meeting in five months time makes me anxious and terrified its still better than not knowing where ill be tomorrowit honestly terrifies me that i dont know i want to know i need to know where am i when im    without my depression i am nothing i have no friends the only contact with people is my familytldr how do people move on once theyve recovered i cant seem to take small steps without wanting to run immediatlyit doesnt help that im watching watamote and feeling sorry for myself i think ill cry myself to sleep,3.0
20025,y hallo thar ,0.0
20026,i am so glad templeton college merged with green it makes such a useful example for rahtz re time queries  ,0.0
20027,eep last day of actual classes ,0.0
20028,on and off depression ive had on and off depression for about  years now due to my very shitty childhood im now  years old and this year has been the worst i got diagnosed with ibs and im always in pain i kinda just want it all to go away thats just a little bit of why ive been depressed my stepdad got out of jail a few weeks ago and that has been garbage as well he treats me like ass and seems to think im just an alcoholici dont drink then theres my best friend i feel our friendship is slowly deteriorating and i cant stop it too sum it all up everything is going to shit i guess im depressed and dysmorphic feel like if nothing changes soon ill probably have a mental breakdown this is all over the place because this is my first post,3.0
20029,cleaned my car and bedroom    days til promorama,0.0
20030,really bad motorcycle accident in annapolis ,2.0
20031,eating toast with nothing great ,0.0
20032,tommcfly id love to have a sg too   haha,2.0
20033,charmwitch i always feel like all my purchases are on a whim despite how long i hem and haw over things i hate making decisions ,2.0
20034,a relatively early night home very sleepy there is still hannah spirit although there is no hannah ,2.0
20035,my beautiful hell i live with my mother in a  bedroom railside apartment im  years old i have no job ive been sheltered and pampered my entire life although i was shown love i was consistently stonewalled and emotionally neglected by those closest to me so that i frequently found id noone to talk to i sought to immerse myself into the cyber world my bedroom is a whitewashed cage of flimsy composition just like me a significant part of the living room which is also the foyer and kitchen accommodates my computeri have squandered countless opportunities to improve myself grow and succeedi always tried to get ahead and set for myself unreasonable expectationsno matter how much i achieved in my mind i always failed i struggled to accept that people might like me preferring to suppose they were taking pity on me by their expressing affectionreasonable people have abruptly stopped talking to me without explanation i imagine they thoughttheres actually something wrong with him if perhaps they werent deeply offended by my tendency to be needlessly honest out of spitei spent most of my time desperately floundering struggling to realise i didnt actually want to diemy whims negatively affected all of my relationships many of which i felt were cut short prematurely i attributed these failures of communication to my own inadequacy perhaps they sought to escape from my intensity around people i always felt insufferably anxious this feeling was compounded by my insecurities about my appearance manner of speech hearing loss and hearing loss itself being unable to understand what everyone else could prompted emotional repression and pretense i took to daydreaming and was only comfortable alone i pretended to hear what was said to satisfy the speaker and avoid embarrassment and shame yet i still felt shame it suited me to blend into the background where i could hear what i might and still avoid the pressure of being expected to respond the shame would be tolerable if i could only disappearim not exceptional although shamefully i always thought i was this core belief may have given rise to a number of my neuroses and behavioural patterns which ive yet to reform some of which i may never be rid of the tide crashes before sweeping out,3.0
20036,i had a setback i was making really good progress going to therapy making long term plans etc but i had to interact with one of my triggers today and it sent me into a depressive episode i havent had any depressive feelings in a few weeks and i felt like i may be starting to see the opening of the tunnel now i feel like i may never see the light at the end any positive thoughts would help as would pics of animals being cute i just need something to cheer me up even a little bit,3.0
20037,rt  o allah i take refuge in you from anxiety and sorrow weakness and laziness miserliness and cowardice the burden of d,2.0
20038,cupcakecola still having the problem  not so twitterific times  how did you fix it,2.0
20039,tinafightsfire happy monday to u  at least next week is a  day one ,0.0
20040,sittin out on this fine day with a light lunch and smokin the hookah  ,0.0
20041,from one extreme to another   ,0.0
20042,gerrymoth did you fix the pc with the malwarebytes hope it worked out alright ,0.0
20043,jonathanrknight jordanknight just wanted to say good night ,0.0
20044,yayitssarahh awesome thanks so much i really appreciate it i value your opinion when i write over most anyone ,0.0
20045,marialuvsu i guess ill never have it  but the sad thing is that u didnt put an alternate email cause if u dont remember ur secret,2.0
20046,doing what i do bestprocrastinating everything  giving myselfjust a bit more quiet time before getting started  ,0.0
20047,watching titus again jessica lange has a serious case of cateye regardless this is one of those perfect films all three hours ,0.0
20048,anyone wants a photo with acubeslife aka rube or has a cool idea of things he can do let us beck  know ,0.0
20049,driving my best friend to the airport  august  wont come fast enough someone shoot me now please another bummer summer,2.0
20050,youngq help those out who arent near their computer ,2.0
20051,ufc  undisputed is very entertaining ,0.0
20052,i need couple  ethernet cables someone hook me up free in md id just make my own ,2.0
20053,lovelangley oh its soooo good  terribly unhealthy bedtime snack but i couldnt help myself ,0.0
20054,chairmanlove whut when you shoulda said hi ,2.0
20055, ginkomortus wilw im also considered a minority by the government because of my disabilitymental ,0.0
20056,donniewahlberg big twugs amp twisses would be better in person though oh well guess twitter will have to do  now ,2.0
20057,rt highlyflavourd all these tweets insinuating  linking the profs suicide with academia or work stress are weird by seeking the ca,2.0
20058,i hate keeping a list of things to do now ,2.0
20059, tell sam i said quothiquot and ask if he misses my mesmerizing eyes ,0.0
20060,im tricking myself and everyone around me my life is falling apart and ive been ignoring it for years ive been driving on a suspended license for about  years spend all of my money on drugs and yet its only every once in awhile where ill think about it and feel terrible but most of the time i just go on like everything is fine what the hell is wrong with me,3.0
20061, taahliaaa during their live chat they said that they were most likely coming down in december ,0.0
20062,pissed that the lakers won magic were so damn close ,2.0
20063,maybe time for a little stroll then back to write course review of creative writing course what has been cut ,2.0
20064,  did i offend ye,2.0
20065,ok back to work  smile for me please  via luvhappy cheese ,2.0
20066,i bought the sims  when i went to install it my video card was not compatible  i have and nvidia   mx  ,2.0
20067,livingleeanne yur welcome ,0.0
20068,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
20069,i guess ive done something well my friends have been absent for some time so i decided to reach out and talk to some other people its a bit of a struggle i dont want to replace my friends but ive got to fill that void somehow ive been feeling like a piece of shit for enough time,3.0
20070,mariedancerr no i like yourr ahirr long  you shud get it hinned though cos its quite thickkk,0.0
20071,a piece of 🚬 kills my depression 👌,2.0
20072, im so excited youre a twitter fan cant wait to drink with you again soon girly ,0.0
20073,got free tix for video games live this friday  indoor stadium hubby cant make it coz hes working then i wanna go with who ,2.0
20074,retromaccast also its really my wifes phone i think its either junk mail texts or something to do with days of our lives website ,0.0
20075,failure to comm im so bad at sarcasm and socializing maybe im just slow,3.0
20076,firesty hmmm nice  for vacation,0.0
20077,true indeed a lot of people are experiencing mental health issues and theyre just ashamed and afraid to talk abo ,1.0
20078,so im pretty depressed tht i will not be attending the rise against concert amp im sure tim mcllrath is also  stupid car,2.0
20079,im so tired im off to my bed for a few hours all i want to do is sleep these days zzzzzzzz haha so its a goodbye for now ,0.0
20080,our thoughts go out to the friends and families of the passengers on the air france flight ,2.0
20081,rt geoffmiami the simple sad fact is that dwstweets is making it harder for americans to get healthcare by refusing to cosponsor ,1.0
20082, give me back    abba  dancing queen live httpbitlyvjkys,0.0
20083,puremothers i tried to sign up last night but ning wont let me ,2.0
20084,morning twitslol  i slept in this morningexpecting my asos package v soon   ,0.0
20085,moms going back to the pi tonight sad sad day  her flights at  and were already here at lax sigh  more months without her,2.0
20086,do u ever just lay in bed in the complete darkness and listen to sad songs because same,1.0
20087,the moon is really pretty tonight  alexander,0.0
20088,but drugs arent bad  i miss them well some of them anyways why am i talkin bout this icebreaker xbox live u need a new mic nd quick,2.0
20089,i got in a fight with the ironing board ashamed to say it won  ouch,2.0
20090,awake its raining on my day off great   going back to sleep,2.0
20091,home alone in glastonbury very sad ,2.0
20092,devynsage caitlinkeeley yeah tomorrow  you should come,0.0
20093, sa ating hinagpis ahahaha ,0.0
20094,hussainimtiyaz mauseenkhan sad loss for your team heart felt condolences,2.0
20095,backstreetboys  its great that you are coming back but i really dont like thep prize of the vip tickets  whyyyy,2.0
20096,hungout at drakes with him nate michael and jen then went to nicks with jen and cory graduation tomorrow  holy fuck ,0.0
20097,pagedancer  hey there we got someone else who wants to join us for the reading group i forgot what day and when were starting ,2.0
20098,ccrichton i had one until a week ago then a pigeon took a dump on it i had to throw it out ,2.0
20099,  i feel like ive been hit by a mack truckim on my way to the  ool that is a pool w no pee in it   ,0.0
20100,my horoscopeits hard to say goodbye but its time to move on the past belongs in the pasti think that speaks for itself goodnight ,0.0
20101,so im at home with a fever of   what a great way to start summer vacation ,2.0
20102,im really not looking forward to this  hour shift ,2.0
20103, i missed it now im sad,2.0
20104,si hubieras podido asistir a cualquier concierto de taylor a cuál hubieras ido — speak now por las presentacione httpstcozbfloxkvck,1.0
20105,babybebe just pour another glass ,0.0
20106,how to fight anxious and depressive thoughts that seem to come instinctually hello everyone ill keep this briefbasically when i am in the middle of an action or looking or saying something the first thing that seems to come to my mind is a snapshot of how i would look to the other person or how they would think i look weird or are strange and this fucks me up and prevents me from doing a lot of the things i want in lifei know it is all bullshit and to not care about what others think but this seems like all my mind can do and i hate thinking i can get inside the mind of others and know what their thinking because that only makes me more anxious so i try to block out these thoughts but that seems to be what always instinctually pops up and i just dont know who i am anymore or what i valueplease help someone or provide some insight,3.0
20107,rt fantasyfinale one of these days ill be over my depression,2.0
20108,dae ever think about how it would feel to shoot yourself in the head like the way your head would move as the bullet passed through and how the bullet would feel but the only feeling you can imagine feeling is relief like a piece of the permanent headache is being destroyed,3.0
20109,since when does mint mean almost like new oh in the place that vintage means last year ebay ,0.0
20110,wentzhol saw the twitpics marley is gorgeous ,0.0
20111, dont you think youve wrecked enough lives recently ,0.0
20112,am i suffering from depression i dont know what im doing with my life im constantly anxious worried about bad things happening around me to the people i love i dont know if im just depressed or suffering from depression i wanted to see a doctor to get myself checked but im worried about my family finding out or if im really clinically diagnosed no one will ever want to hire me but its taking it toll on me i cant sleep without waking up every   hours worried about bad things happening to my family now im having headaches and bodyaches frequently alot of times i just wish im done with my life i want to skip to the end,3.0
20113,happyloveschuck no i was kidding  but i hurt my lips too many times ,2.0
20114,campfireburning ahh ive still got mine purchased close to  year ago sadly its all yellow now ,2.0
20115,is working this saturday on her birthday  booo,2.0
20116,twigandberries sarenzobeads thank you ,0.0
20117,just uploaded some awesome rainbow photos to my flickr gallery  ,0.0
20118,becksdavis im messin with you because i miss you im making up for lost time ,0.0
20119,just now leaving the er thank god knee hurts like heckk and temp is way over  ,2.0
20120,were here to bring you to the moon just stick with us ,0.0
20121,justbella aww thank you for asking and in a word  no  can i have a hug now please ,2.0
20122,claudiiine yo im fine thankyou haha ,0.0
20123,joshsolar that may have been the weirdest tweet ive ever gotten lol too latei gave in to the power of the cheesy gordita crunch ,0.0
20124,fake depression vs real hi new to reddit im just interested a bit how to spot when someone is actually depressed and whos acting how can i spotrecognize this sorry just interested no i dont have depression just feel sad and i always think that others are acting that they are sad when they should be happy af,3.0
20125,need to repair pbx  sneaking to find out more about ipbased  pbx easy cabling but looking for cheap ip phones,2.0
20126,depression or unhappy in the relationship ive been with my girlfriend for  years every now and again when my depression gets bad i dont feel anything for anything including her i literally just feel like i could throw it all away everything in my lifeusually i get past it and were good and i love her a lot againmy depression has hit hard again and i dont feel anything i feel quite suicidal we bicker over the tiniest thingsi dont know if the relationship is done or its my depression its so hard,3.0
20127,study study study   love the sound of the rain though,2.0
20128,i skip school way too often  im rather proud actually,0.0
20129,girlfriend is depressed and suicidal my girlfriend of  years asked for a break about  months ago  she said that she is so depressed that she doesnt feel the same way about me anymore  she basically doesnt really feel anything anymore  she said that she understands if i want to give up and leave i feel like i should try to help her in anyway i can  unfortunately she doesnt really let me in  we barely talk and when we do she doesnt want to seek professional help and is reluctant to take medicine  i dont really know what im supposed to do at this point for her  not to mention i am depressed and have my own plethora of problems  i just feel like i have a lot on my plate and ive been breaking down a lot lately  has anyone gone through a similar situation  any advice anyone can give me would be appreciated  thanks for reading the post,3.0
20130,i love love love love quotthe climbquot by miley c im so attached to the song ,0.0
20131, another friday night cancel  probably movies with just ashley,2.0
20132,i feel the craving to self harmrelapse but something inside of me prevents me from doing so im getting better i realize that i kicked the habit of cutting the week my now girlfriend revealed to me her true feelings about me i had carved paitence in my right arm in effort to spell patience and remind myself that soon it wouldnt be like this the scar still remains april   was the last time i had truly cut every single day there is a point at which i get the craving especially when i mess up my words or make the wrong choice or do something awkward or cant help someone there are even points at which i pick up a blade and prepare to harm but there is something that stops me its an innate force that refuses to let me make the mark like two like magnetic poles facing each other it just wont let me do it and im thankful for that there was one time i honestly was just curious not in my numb mood where i took a blade and tried cutting again i was only able to barely scratch myself accidentally and it was difficult—it was nothing like how i remembered it to be it seems repulsive now something in me has changed approximately seven months ago my only coping hobby was ripped from me i have been struggling to find one as passionate as i was then ever since but nothing has gotten close which is why everyday cutting seems like a better and better choice especially in light of my uncontrollable lustdepression cycle and various headaches but thankfully something keeps grabbing my hand last second and i couldnt be more grateful yet frustrated thank you for listening ,3.0
20133,deeharg yes i do im a chubster ,2.0
20134,on the road heading back to guanatos ,0.0
20135,rt muthuimkenya it is a sad day in kenya  whistleblowers hit hard after cnyakundih twitter account is suspended on unclear grounds,2.0
20136, triple shot tall ice soy mocha  yum ,0.0
20137,headaches and vomit ,2.0
20138,kathyireland we like it too  thank you,0.0
20139,its the longest day today nice weather outside today its the british grand prix looking forward to that im usually there though ,2.0
20140,wants to sleep more ,2.0
20141,rt astrohyuck do you ever just get sad and realize that jaemin is only in chewing gum and go,1.0
20142,i feel like id be happier if i had more money i know you dont hear this often but instead money doesnt bring you happiness at the end of the day i think theres almost nothing that money cant buy nowadays if i could travel anywhere buy whatever i want i cant imagine becoming sadder instead especially in this world filled and controlled by money,3.0
20143,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
20144,super sad im not enjoying the chicago weather with all of you waiting for the cable guy then to the office  ,2.0
20145,had the greatest workout ever but a little upset im not able to get coffee with spidervsbat ,2.0
20146,rt aylosa suicide is not an option giving up is not an option your situation will change retweet to save a life someone right now ne,0.0
20147,listen blackferns player rubytui explains the importance of athlete mental health on wisp world nz ,0.0
20148,fuuuuuuuck kol was just doing a commercial and my stupid piece of shit dvd burner delayed and didnt start recording til it was over ,2.0
20149,nickhexum it would be more amazing if you were playing hawaii  ,2.0
20150,maries i cant really tell you if its hard or not because we havent gotten into the syntax and stuff yet ill let you know though ,0.0
20151,rt iipglock from depression to me ,2.0
20152,rosieeejones miss you  xxxxxxxxx,2.0
20153,jaykubzscouts sad,2.0
20154,rt  thought i had seasonal depression but nope this bitch is all year round,2.0
20155,nothing to do ,2.0
20156,the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
20157,dianehochman great variety of eclectic tunes  love the mixture of classics and contemporary  keep them rolling friend ,0.0
20158,all that time visiting my mom in the hospital and no wifi ,2.0
20159, strange thoughts are making my life awful for start i must say that i created this new account so i am not identified for obvious reasonshello i am a  years old male in the last months i have been having a trouble that is destryoing my life i have grown sexually obsessed with my dad and i have no idea on how to make it go away and i am constatly scared someone will find out specially himi will tell a bit about us i am my fathers eldest son and i have twin younger brothers dad was a teen when i was born and i basically made his life into hell he stayd with my mom until i was about  but then she left and until i was five we lived with my grandparents he was a bit overprotective of me but not exgerated he then started to date and had my brothers and for a while we lived together and it was nice for a couple of years until my stepmom got into car crash and she passed and dad got depressed we moved back with my grandparents for a year after we moved back on our own dad always tried to be protective of us and he always does his best to give us the best he can we never had much money but we do as we can no need to say it was never the ideal situationi always admired my dad but alwasy felt guilty too everytime he ogot me a gift or new things i felt like i didnt need or want i always felt like he was neglecting himself i never really felt depressed or anything about that more like slightly upsetand then a few months back i started to dream about my dad sexually at first i would just shrug it off as silly thoughts i am not gay i think i have always liked girls i even have a girlfriend sorta we never kissed but i love her but the thoughts i have about dad just sicken meat first as i said i would just shrug it off but then it started to get worse i would think about him when i had some privacy even when i am watching straight porn i migh sometimes just close my eyes and start thinking about him without even noticing i even have some pictures of him i stole from his phone i will sometimes stop doing whater i am doing like studying or playing a game just to think about him he never had a real girlfriend since my stepmother but he still dates women from time to time and i get really really jealous in any case the amount of disgusting thins i do is not worth saying wholeit all is killing me from inside i feel sick with myself for having those thoughts with the best father in the world i am a disgusting person and it makes me feel the worst son of all not only i feel like that i am getting paranoid that someone will find out and i know it is just a matter of time it i will do something without noticing and destroy my relationship with him and everyone i share a bedroom with my brothers which sucks but makes it worse that i feel scared of sleeping and talking while sleeping and they hear something bad in our family we never had a problem with being naked around each other and i always feel scared that i will stare him too or get hard and create a mess or even getting too red when he comes home late with a woman to his room he works a lot so i take care of my brothers when we are alone and lately i have been dead scared i might slip up something to them they are six so that is manageable the problem is also with my friends from which i have started to avoid and talk much less also for feeling of slipping upit is also starting to destroy my relationship with him once we had an open relationship i would tell eveyrthing to him like when i liked a girl and would ask him advice but now things have changed he is a bit scared of me having a girlfriend due to his experiences with my mother and having me while young he will be  this year so he always tries to talk to me about safe sex and i cant handle to talk to him about that i think he thinks its just because i am  but it is not i just dont know what to do anymore i cant sleep my grades are bad i am losing my friends i dont have anyone really to talk and i have no idea of what to doi dont know how long i can handle without going crazy,3.0
20160,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
20161,dicussing jonas brothers nov  with dev amp hannah ,0.0
20162,phillyd use protection ,0.0
20163,i dont think ive ever tasted pizza like the pizza i had in italy i literally eat myself in to oblivion at last ,0.0
20164,sobrang naaawa na ko kay mikasa hahaha lagi nalang syang naistress kasi laging nananakaw si eren langya,2.0
20165,first time posting here hey guys ive been diagnosed with anxiety dso and depression for almost a year now i am currently in the middle of a breakdown i just feel so empty that i think crying is the only thing i can do to ease the pain ,3.0
20166,prof matthew kimble researching post traumatic stress disorder ,2.0
20167,whats wrong with plurk its not functioning well  woo  followers hahah lame ko,2.0
20168,to fucked to have a shower yet  might watch some skins first ,0.0
20169,nscafe ive still had hashtags feeding through may have been a partial outage ,2.0
20170,misssididdy  exactly im sorry you had to encounter this guy ,2.0
20171,quick relief tips thought it might be cool to have people write any suggestions for people seeking help in dealing with intense depression anything is welcome what are things you have trieduse in times when you feel truly at your worstfor myself i will start with a basic breathe i know its what everyone and there mom tells you but if you really learn to do it well it can be the difference to making change focus all your energy on each part of the breath inhale to exhale  allow any thoughts goodbad to be noticed but pass acknowledge them and come back to the breath dont try to block anything out let them come and pass hard to do but keep practicing and it gets easier   be present the longer you can focus on what you are doing in the moment the better in this moment be open and dont give up ,3.0
20172,pattifranco im a blackbelt andyou have me scared  ,0.0
20173,having to go back to school soondamn so my country is located in asia so we have quite a big holiday which last about two weeksin these days so far i have done nothing but playing video games and browsing reddut etci hate myself being like this but can do nothing to change itit sucks but at least i can  be away from people i dont like and i can be completely free and aloneno need to worry bout anythingin about two days later i have to go back to school and this really stresses me out due to my anxiety and because im a very asocial personi have always been a loner my whole life and nothing seem enjoyable anymoresorry my limited english and please give me some advice,3.0
20174,oh my god woo hoo ,0.0
20175,retrievergirl   claptons  is certainly one of the worlds greatest guitarists  and for me closely followed by brian may ,0.0
20176,thehaitianqueen oh no did i not say thank you  i was quite delirious this morning you know i love you regardless xoxoxo,2.0
20177,alone in the office ,2.0
20178,i burnt my fingers on the straightener  ow,2.0
20179,ancillatilia well at least there are no cat hairs on it  thats always a quotproblemquot here when they crawl up on us like that,0.0
20180,why dont a get sad when real things happen if i hear a sad song watch a sad movie or something then my eyes might get watery but i wont crymy nans dog died like last year i loved that dog so much when i was younger and i didnt even feel sad or cryand i just found out my nan has bowel cancer and im not even worried i havent even felt sad ive only thought wow i feel bad for my dadi dont understand why im like this though i want to be sad about this i used to get sad about this type of stuffthe last time i cried was about  years ago i cant remember what it was about but i remember it was to my mum but it felt really fake it was full water worked but then i was able to shut it off instantlyim scared that one day its all gunna just catch up with me,3.0
20181,rly wanna go  miley date but its all sold out  cos im not going away now cos jess is working all christmas,2.0
20182,i have been seriously traumatized since the day my ex dumped me for i being too much people think i am really fine since they dont see any negative posts from me on the social media in fact i am just pretending because everyone says happy people are attractivehappiness is choice and fake it til you make it i tried but i really cant hold itdepression is not my choice it is a part of me having trait of introvert even makes it worse i envy people who are happy i envy that they can enjoy whenever wherever and with whoever but i have to deal with negative thoughtsi want someone to care and worry and love me for who i am i have plenty of friends and family yet i dont feel enough as they dont have the same issue as me they dont understand i need a person who understands it to be there mostly for me maybe a partner or a best friend just one person is enough for me someone would feel comfortable to be me while the other way round we revolve each other and keep each other company most of the time i used to think my ex could be it he did love me a lot but he ended up leaving me because i was too much is it impossible to find anyone that can handle someone like me,3.0
20183,jeffelder so so glad you were in the class great contributions ,0.0
20184,  heres another one from rock fest  ,0.0
20185,rt ariflerinyolu kişiden güzel haller güzel ahlak ve güzel ameller sadır olabilmesi için nefsin mutmainne derecesine ulaşması gerekir,2.0
20186,just got done at the spa ,0.0
20187,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
20188,sidpatankar rohitparadkar renuks hormazdsorabjee mahindra  can we have the auto community support and ,0.0
20189,maddysen yeah and annoying cox theyre not replying to me ,2.0
20190,i dont see the point anymorei feel determined to not be around anymore i just want out hello everyone im sorry to post this here but i honestly dont know where else to turn except the internet im a  year old that currently has no jobi was told i would be rehired as summer help but that did not happen not attending class anywhere and i generally just want this life to be over with already ive gone to therapy and have been prescribed medicine beforecurrently on wellbutrin and i just dont think im right for this planet yeah it seems weird to believe that but i havent been truly happy in a whilemy depression started somewhere in my early teens and has just gotten progressively worse i thought most of the depression would go away in high school i was completely wrong though its gotten worse since i graduated i sit around all day not even properly taking care of myselfim a type one diabetic which only adds to my depression and suicidal thoughts i hardly ever check my blood sugar levels or eat being diabetic makes my depression even worse because i dont see the point in living with a disease for the next  years while others profit off of it and refuse to cure it out of pure greed im also pretty autistic as wellaspergers and this makes talking to others a real chore ive sat inside the past few days channeling my depression into making memes ive become so pathetic in life that the only validation ive gotten over the past few days is some freaking karma from memes ive posted i just really dont see the point in being here anymore and the only reason i keep living is because i know how much my family would be hurt if i killed myself even this is becoming less of a factor though why should i live for other people anymore theres over  billion people on earth some of us just arent meant to be here or live this life if i died right now nothing would change and id just be another body in the ground that doesnt seem bad to me at all so why even struggle and be in pain anymore sorry for the rant i just dont know where else to turn to and i really feel like im at my wits end i try and put on a show for people on the internetreal life like im some happy successful person whos cheery but it couldnt be further from the truth im a destructive sack of shit who constantly puts himself down and is so pitiful im not surprised people avoid me anymore,3.0
20191,davidlafuente  lol i like your beard i saw the weekend photos  you all look like you had fun yes ,0.0
20192,rt lilbaked im a bad bitch with bad anxiety,2.0
20193,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
20194,stillpixels welcome to my worldno official denied email for lily yet  hope i sent it to the right person  sok were still awesome,0.0
20195,bigenya i should be donating blood since im a ,2.0
20196,is my depression making me feel guilty for the bits of happiness or am i really just a lazy piece of shit who uses depression as an excuse to do nothing this sickness is so damn deeply embedded to the mind its pure corruption disguised as our own thought patterns but the disguise is so convincing,3.0
20197,nothing like room service breakfast to start the day pool spa and anniversary dinner so happy ,0.0
20198,loves the green day song  guns ,0.0
20199, yeah hopefully we will  man i really wanted to meet mitchel ,2.0
20200,athenas leeluvsmychem i cant believe i went to bed early and missed both of you on here last night ,2.0
20201,severely disappointed with my cajun ribeye ordered it medium rare and it was definitely medium well  chilis sucks,2.0
20202,i got another baseball tournament today  i feel like laying in bed all day,2.0
20203,so many fantasy factory tweets today and none of them from me  maybe ill have some tomorrow well see,2.0
20204,drrickclayton  you have accurately described the type of riding i mostly pursue sadly perf bikes doesnt have a store in fla  ship  ,2.0
20205,syeelamarlina sma my hp telah meninggal dunia sedey   anyways howd the interview go,2.0
20206, i hoped for a pic toobut nothing ,2.0
20207,  alice and brittany again ,0.0
20208, been depressed all my life no real friends alcoholic dad feels a sad burning hole in my heart literally everyone joke about me at school because im a bit fat even people who never spoken with me before laugh about me i have a couple of kids i hang out with only at school they make plans in front of me and dont include mei have a lot of free timetoo much always alone takes me  hours to fall asleep always sad at nightsim on my phone all day trying to keep my brain busy in a year ill be going to the army until  at my country are required to go to the army at age my mom is  and is very sick mentally and physically my alcoholic dad has been mentally in rare times physically abusing my mother my big brother and sister started a new life as soon as they finished the army i just dont see my life getting improved in the future my mom and dad would be old and will need constant carei will be in the army for  years receiving  a month,3.0
20209,rt jessiesantoss if i experience crippling depression and social anxiety imma make it look seeexy,2.0
20210,pingfm youre recommending me i dont know what to say except thanks ,0.0
20211,i dont have anybody else to share with im sorry ive been trying to tell people around me how i feel why i do what i do but i just cant like my dad said when i was a little a man should never show feelings or shed a tear so now im hiding behind anonymity to share whats on my heart because tho i dont like my dad those words stuck with me so ive been battling with depression since i was around  years old when my momma got sick started doing drugs and crimes ive always wanted to be someone important and i found a way to get that respect from everybody with crime and drugs after living that life for a while everything caught up with me at around  i hade multiple charges and a ecstasy addiction i got thrown out of my home at the time i didnt want to swallow my pride and quit everything or maybe i couldnt at all i started doing more crimes saves up a lot of money quit drugs for a few months i got a trip to america for a few weeks it was the best time in my life no drugs no problems no worries after going home i lost my girl the next months i didnt know if i was sad for loosing her or the happy version of myself in america when i got back home i lived with my mom again i was battling hard with anxiety and depression at this point and no one to express it tho all my friends had turned on me for some gang rival shit i started hanging out with the older guys in my neighborhood started doing things for them i never thought i would because i was hurt and i wanted other to feel my misery i started abusing a lot of tramadol oxycodone and ecstasy at this point didnt recognize my self in the mirror couldnt sleep couldnt eat then i had court for crimes that were really old got sentenced to something like probation here in sweden so one night i came home on a bunch of ecstasy my dad was so mad he attacked me beat me told me horrible things hes never been nice but the experience was so bad since i was in ecstasy i pulled a knife on him i was so mad sliced at him i missed i ran to my room i was like a hurt little dog my dad is an bipolar alcoholic dick thats why he does this shit the next day my mom snitched on me cause i confessed everything to her because i couldnt live with my dad he hadnt talked to me for months and that was the first interaction he made the police picked me up and drove me to like juvenile detention here i did  months ran away was gone for a month i felt like i was going insane i heard voices in my head telling me to kill my self cut open my arm when someone told me something that offended me the voices would tell me  of ways to kill this person brutally i was so alone just sitting in isolation doing nothing but drawing things on my arm with a knife so then i got to move to another place where you got to have a phone and everything it had been  months since i was home i had  months left and i they caught me with drugs after being sober for almost  months it made me hate myself because i had my girlfriend that had been waiting for me during the whole sentence and i really loved her and wanted to be with her so now to date i missed a lot of things just wanted to put in somethings i could remember my memory is very bad ive got add and they are trying to diagnose me with narcissistic personality disorder i dont what you to feel sorry for me i just needed to share something with someone because this shit is beating me thank you for reading,3.0
20212,happy sunday to everyone ,0.0
20213,how do i get a depressed person to eat my sister was diagnosed with depression a bit back and recently started having a poor appetite and ends up with stomach pains if she eats too much does anyone have recommendations on how we should go about keeping her well fed at the moment shell eat a bit of sugary foods like candy or granola bars but doesnt want to eat veggies or even meat often times shell take food to her room and not eat it after hours and if were with her while shes trying to eat she doesnt eat it either i dont want to force her to do anything but are there any slight ways to maybe help her get bites in,3.0
20214,good concert ,0.0
20215,wowza i cant wait to see my bff on monday shes gonna be like quotahhhhh emma youre alive ahhhquot ,0.0
20216,mayeh in santa clara right by the university  i dont move in untli july  really though but i can go there whenever until then ,0.0
20217,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
20218,get the fuck out of my fandom bitches ,2.0
20219,tommcfly was my bday and u didnt say anything  httptwititioncomsuqda,2.0
20220,dinking coffee making sausage and scrambled eggs headed to an outdoor pool after lunchwind is howlingmust be oklahoms ,0.0
20221,in taiwan now i miss jami ,2.0
20222,wondering that this week gonna be over and done succesfully and happilly well you guys who support me till its over ,0.0
20223,dominos doesnt deliver to my house  no bread bowl pasta weep,2.0
20224,brettwilliamson you are missed ,2.0
20225,woohoo the da vinci code on  this evening  otr,0.0
20226,at home not feeling so good i cant sleep with this pain ,2.0
20227,one hour on the local clay courtworst tennis in many many years  the sun in low angle and no leaves on the treesterrible light,2.0
20228,loneliness problems with a sprinkle of drug abuse im  male all my close friends are in relationships and i cant help but feel jealous of them ive tried to get a girlfriend numerous times and every time it starts progressing they say theyre not looking for a relationship this has happened over and over and over again im starting to lose hope ive always had a sense of loneliness and worthlessness since i was around  ive tried to fill the void with drugs and alcohol ive been smoking weed and drinking since i was about  and started popping pills when i was  i recently tried acid with some of my friends which i thought would help me discover things about myself that would help me out of this slump ive been in it was amazing while it lasted but the next morning i woke up feeling just as shitty as before i got accepted to university this past week which gives me hope of being able to find someone who actually wants to be with me im just scared that i will find the perfect girl and i still wont be happy if that happens i dont know what ill dosorry if this isnt very coherent this is just what im thinking about right now lol if anyone has any advice id really appreciate it,3.0
20229,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
20230,how do you manage your depression hey im currently doing some research into mental health management specifically depression and chronic stress i personally have suffered from depression before and im trying to create better solutions for selfmanagement if you could help by filling out this questionnaire it would be greatly appreciated it only takes about  minutes thanks in advance d ,3.0
20231,suhrek who is this manafter all these years ive known you  hahaha,2.0
20232,guitardragon i used to live over there when i first move to saskatoon   lived in that area for many years ,0.0
20233,uggh just woke up wit a sore throght hate it  cuzin might come over sryz taly for not goin to six flagz,2.0
20234,i am such an idiot for leaving all this uni stuff so late ,2.0
20235,iphone os  lets me send contact information to people i already know but i still cant share contact info with people i just met ,2.0
20236,drinking coffe ,0.0
20237,tommcfly when are you coming to australia again my best friend and i would love to meet you ,0.0
20238,had a luuvlyy day with the besties on saturday but now is not looking forward to be going to school when all i can think about is sleep ,2.0
20239,i dont wanna do anything but sleep tomorrow blaaah ,2.0
20240,ericvon good luck  love your political blogs by the way fair tax blog and your focus with that was awesome,0.0
20241,i need a breakbut haley doesnt want to sleep ,2.0
20242,rt cbenavidezx i had so much fun saturday im sad its over,2.0
20243,iamhollyywood thanks ,0.0
20244,im peoples now but never forever so this thought came to my mind today and i cant stop thinking about it and it kinda hurts in all the years of existing i never really was anybodys favourite i am a person thats nice to have around and have fun with for a couple weeks or months but not forever wether its romantic or platonic im just not the kind you stick with any longermy longest friendship lasts for almost  or  years now which is a huge milestone for me compared to all the friends i had until they found somebody better funnier or more chill i met my boyfriend a couple months ago and everythings perfect im sure hes the one i want to spend the rest of my days with but every time he plays with friends online i cant help but feel like he chooses them over me i know its ridiculous whenever im having a down time i treat him like shit and it makes me feel like shit too but somehow im unable to change this behaviour this results in me being afraid that some day hell be so done with me and my problems and honestly i could understand so thats being said i just feel like im everybodys second choice and it doesnt seem to change maybe thats just something to come to peace with loli know i am a difficult person with problems most people wouldnt understand but i just feel like nobodys trying to even understand me instead they leave for somebody simpler,3.0
20245,happy mothers day mom i love yew ,0.0
20246,littleandlashes happened to me last month stress,2.0
20247,mini vacation is over ,2.0
20248,officialnjonas awesome video love it ,0.0
20249,showering then out shoppinggggg ,0.0
20250,  looks like we are gonna have to trade back  kidtokid wont let me trade the system bc im not the  original owner,2.0
20251,is happy relaxing this morning ,0.0
20252,i had a chat about this with a few friends tonight but the thought isnt exactly gone its starting to affect my m ,0.0
20253,i think im done here i am an american male almost  years old an alcoholic with a brief history of drug addiction and discharged from the army for depression ive been clean for  years and thought i was doing well considering all facts but in reality nothing is going well at all and i relapsed by using for one night about two weeks agoi grew tired of the dead end jobs that im overqualified for but have to deal with because of my level  nonperson felony from years ago so i now go to my state university fulltime with a major in criminal justice although im disqualified for any careers i would enjoy in the future but ill take what i can get this world is ugly and i need to make a differencei had a spat with my brother tonight my only sibling about him defending someone at fault over me and im not sure how this situation could get worse outside of being incarcerated which i feel is inevitable from actions in my past that will likely catch up with me just like my drug charge did after  yearsim an intelligent man who has made many mistakes was arrested years after my offenses and still has to deal with certain issues i hate myself and question my existence and although ive struggled with suicidal tendencies in the past ive truly become tired of all of thisthis isnt a plea for attention i have nowhere else to turn and this is essentially me thinking out loud while weighing my options and attempting to sort my thoughts out rationally,3.0
20254,  yep  i noticed ,0.0
20255,rain in socal  but im off to nyc tonight,2.0
20256,lightrailblog the link is broken ,2.0
20257,rileysteele thats crazy you mean it wont turn on anymore so you have no phone that sux ,2.0
20258,doesnt feel good now ,2.0
20259,antonymarcano boy youre smiley today did nobody tell you its a monday  and yes that tweet,0.0
20260,almots out of bali hai  no more smoking for me after this thank you,2.0
20261,remarkk that quotlovequot is what makes religious demagogues frightening  theyll make you suffer because its your soul thats important  ,2.0
20262,the awesomest concert ever at least for me is happening july   i get to go see the academy is ,0.0
20263,my life has been at its most difficult and it isnt improving ive been sitting here trying to psych myself out of writing this even though i know i need to at least bring it up somewhereso here goesthe last few months have been the worst of my life in october we found out that my eldest son had passed away at age  this was after several years of him struggling with schizophrenia and drug abuse we thought he was on the mend but one slip up and well that was thatto say that that alone is devastating is putting it mildly but thankfully weve been able to pull together as a family and support each otherin the month after we had to put down the family dog as she was getting too sick that was infinitely less devastating than what we had and still do gone through but nonetheless i still feel like i havent been able to grieve her properly because of my previous grief  then through all of this i found out that i will probably be losing my house see when my son died i was in the middle of talking with my mortgage people about clearing up some back payments that i owed when my son died i let them know asking for some time to help deal with everything and they responded by sending a foreclosure notice  so now im facing the very real possibility of losing everything and my anxiety is preventing me from taking the steps that i need to try and make things better  ive fought so much to try and make things good for my family and now i sit here like a failure having completely lost its to the point now that i feel like i might have to end everything for myself because at least then my family would get some form of compensation ive been exercising more but secretly ive been hoping that my heart gives out while i do so im almost  and have heart complications as is  i just have no more left in me to keep going the only reason why i havent pushed forward is knowing that it would devastate my family even more but that argument is becoming less and less valid in my mind,3.0
20264,it felt like you died in my arms i had a cat she was cute brillant lovely she was a mother at tree years old she got sick in one two week she lost a lot of weight she wasnt eating anymore loosing more hair yellowish looking lips and ears the doctor couldnt do anything and she had very low survival chances so we put her down i was the only one there it was shocking in two weeks my cat of only  years old was dying and she knew it the doctor inserted the   needle and she went down eyes still open not moving anymore it took less than  secit felt the same with my ex we were together for only six month he had anxiety problems and at some point he changed medication and  he changed it felt like he died in my arm he wasnt the same he tried to reassure me but was really down and i could see it it affected me i knew something was wrong he was just so off it was  awefull and unerving i was affraid of never have him come back again so i did everything i could i gave it all i hadtime passed and it became worse he was sad and distanced himself i burned out emotionaly became anxious and depressed myself he asked me to wait to give him time then he found someone elsei never got him back again its as if he died and i have the hardest time some night to shake off this feeling of having lost the most important thing and person in my life and its so sad i feel lost and affraid lonely its been two years already and i am not too bad now but i need to get this out ffs i tried so many times to explain my pain but it always feel wrong sorry,3.0
20265,im almost a fucking senior in high school and life isnt going to get better the past few years have been the absolute fucking worst i know life doesnt get easier its fucking pointless im literally fucking shaking i dont know what the fuck to do,3.0
20266,depressed and i just need to vent honestly i have nobody i can talk to about this stuff and i need to get it off my chest whenever i even try to attempt to talk to family about it they give me half ass answers and dont even offer to help me my mom and dad got divorced when i was  and im now  my family life wasnt the best before but its even more toxic now my mom is super depressed and cant hold down a job  she is constantly complaining about my dad going on vacations and how she doesnt have any money she is constantly asking my dad for money and he still helps out time to time as well as give her money monthly because of the divorce she still gets mad at him and thinks he owes her in someway and i believe my dad does feel bad about the divorce but she wasnt willing to change not that my dad was  innocent i have tried helping her many times like offering to help build a resume cover letter drive her around to different places to apply and even offer suggestions for where she should work but i always get excuses about why she cant do that and then she complains about how she will never afford go on trips or take her kids out for dinner even though thats more than attainable she smokes probably an  a week low balling and at least half pack of cigs a day again low balling so shes basically spending any money she can use on vacations or doing things with her kids on shit or gas money to drive her friends and their kids aroundim just exhausted i dont know what to do with my mom she hasnt been employed in over a year and isnt willing to do anything about it says she does but nowhere is hiring meanwhile i know that is bs because there are plenty of jobs out there but jobs that she doesnt want to do she has started to rack up her credit cards and spend money she doesnt have and refuses to stop i fear shes going to become homeless because of this so much shit is going on and i i dont know what to do about iti started school back in october and i have fallen behind by over  weeks luckily i can pay to add  weeks on at the end of the program which is making me even more depressed and causing me anxiety which is making it harder for me to study cause im worrying about completing the course i was like this in high school and i procrastinated a lot which resulted in me barely passing all through high school even though i know im more than capable of getting good grades i always get motivated for like a month and do super well on everything high  and then i just stop doing the work and before i knew it was the end of the term and i was at  im actually doing really well in the course im taking now i just keep skipping school and not doing the hw i was never pushed as a child or given any direction really my parents let me game  and never actually helped me figure out what i wanted to do with my life but thats alright i understand that they could have been depressed etc and not everyone can be a perfect parent now im  and its my responsibility to create the person i want to beim tired of being this way and i need to fix myself i dont have money to see a therapist so that is out of the question and i have already tried talking to fam telling them how stressed i am but i literally get nothing back havent told them im depressed because if thats how they respond to me trying to open up already i dont need them judging me and giving me a half ass answer and even as i type this i dont even know what id want them to say because i know what i need to do maybe i just want them to say everything will be okay and that they love and just give me genuine advice on shit that has happened in their lifeim not suicidal but all i do is think about everything wrong in my life how bad my anxiety is getting and just how numb to everything i have become i show no emotion in real life anymore and frequently when im conversing with friends or fam i have to fake emotions i cant remember the last time i genuinely laughed at something or felt joy about anything even when i plan trips to do fun stuff i need to hype myself up for the occasion and throughout the evening and im doing stuff im interested in and i do enjoy but the emotion doesnt come out i work with alot of people my age that always invite me out but i always come up with an excuse on why i cant and when i feel like we are connecting i get really uncomfortable and leave the situation i feel horrible about this people i work with genuinely want to be my friend and seem to really like me but i push them away by avoiding them and not saying hi to them at work even though i really want to and thats the thing that first crosses my mind when i see them i just feel uncomfortablei just dont know so much shit is going on in my life im going to try the hardest to fix what i can with myself and try to not worry about what i cantwhat im going to do now to improve my lifequit smoking pot havent in over  and i cut down alot over the last start exercising improve my diet goin to have a fruit smoothie for bfast and meal prep for lunch and dinnerwrite down my thoughts and try to think positively hang out with my friends i have become a hermit and i always say no to hanging out because of hw etc but i end up doing nothing anyways if anyone has any youtube videos posts books or anything that you would think that could help me please post it i would really appreciate it ,3.0
20267,my lyrical analysis and fortune cookie ,0.0
20268,just broke two of my favorite juice glasses all over my kitchen floor   life goes on tee hee,2.0
20269,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
20270,anabear so do i  but nothing near me right now ,2.0
20271,im trying so hard to stay alive but i just dont want to anymore im not even saying im suicidal i just dont have anything to live for i fight so hard to be happy and push through the depression but it just never ends i worked so hard to get away from my abusive home growing up i ended up at an amazing school as an ncaa  athlete i went straight into the army where i was earning a really good amount of money as an officer then my boss sexually assaulted me and the issues that came from that slowly pushed me out because of my combat mos and a gender integration initiative i got pushed into a unit lastminute that would deploy to the same place where my assaulter was i told them this and they told me that they couldnt do anything for me because my unrestricted report had somehow disappeared he obviously never got in trouble either so i pretty much had a mental breakdown and stayed back from the deployment i then got with a guy that ended up being abusive and then fought my way out of that eventually good times and now here i am medically retired from the army and working parttime at a local restaurant life just doesnt seem like its going to go anywhere i worked so hard to achieve my goals and i did it i was one of the first women in my branch after it opened to women and then it all fell apart i still dont have anyone and it doesnt seem like i will anytime soon dating fucking sucks im just fucking tired of fighting whats the point i could take on my next big project and start preparing for grad school but especially as a woman i know it just gets lonelier the more successful you get im just fucking tired and have hardly any close friends anymore it seems honestly the only reason im still here and still trying to keep it together is for my dogs i cant stay in bed for days at a time because i need to feed my boys take them out etc i just hate feeling like this i want it to stop but it seems like this fight never ends ,3.0
20272,greeneash do u know what happened with kristenamprobs twitter ,2.0
20273,just lost all my pics from the last few weeks ,2.0
20274,i dont know what to do so im fairly drunk  and waiting in the er norway  but i just realised my gf brome up with me like three weeks ago and i wanna kms yet i dont want to help,3.0
20275,rt nikikopp  s selfdriving cars use dashboard displays so passengers wont stress out  ,2.0
20276,dont you ever feel like you need somebody in real life not a relative or a family member who supports you to go keep going on and keep trying and trying when you are broke and depressed and alone i really need that person in my life like really but where i live there isnt anybody like thatno bodmy fingertips hurt badly when i type alot on my phone so i cant even have a chat properly,3.0
20277,jinnpod too late  its done,2.0
20278,tickingtimebomb i still hold tight to that fear i will puke on his shoes quotholy shit its sylar vomitquot  that would be uncool ,2.0
20279,home finally hi ,0.0
20280,my feet hurt ,2.0
20281,ending my homeworktime to say hello to my bed ,0.0
20282,ahhh the suns finally coming out  wooo,0.0
20283,skylten why go so low eh ,2.0
20284,nothin like some ne to lift my spirits quotif it isnt love why do i feel this wayquot lol dancin god is greatim clumpsy ,0.0
20285,so much stress  it makes me cry,2.0
20286,surrendrdorothy yeah  lrworkshop  ,0.0
20287,  like a really cool and mature person i admired how youve handled stuff youre an awesome guy ,0.0
20288,i just had a very bad nitemare  is anyone awake ,2.0
20289,rt entrust depression isnt always suicide notes and pill bottles sometimes its all smiles and fake laughter depression isnt always e,2.0
20290,lowpricequality the depression i have when i dont pay attention and realize theres a test,2.0
20291,lottery dreams at work there are a bunch of excited people in a lottery pool  they all talk about how they would spend the money on new luxury or sports cars vacations boats shopping sprees and big houses  i fantasize that it would give me enough money to never have to leave the house againtechnology and society are moving to less requirements to interact with people  i can order groceries online now amp have them delivered without seeing anyone i could pay someone to cut grass amp not go outside i can pay my bills amp do banking online  i can buy anything i need from amazonebay and i can watch every tv showmoviesports ever made on the internet  pretty soon you can even have a selfdriving car pick you up amp chauffeur you somewhere alone  i wouldnt have to go to work anymore which is majority of my outside time nowi feel awful that this is what my biggest dream right now  im working hard amp saving my retirement money to eventually get to this comfortable isolation point at slower rate than hitting the lottery though   im just curious how many other people have this weird lottery dream  thanks,3.0
20292,back from fab holiday  now just have to sort through tons of email crap ,2.0
20293, my pendrive is brokenit feels that my stars are not good today,2.0
20294, the rain is dampening my happiness,2.0
20295,twek woohoo  miles done  blisters and a very sore hip  but finished yay ,2.0
20296,lofigirl who what  call me,2.0
20297,byrnesyliam get yourself down to the prayer room too  work on that visa down there,0.0
20298,bellewalk now i really want to see them live ,2.0
20299,yeah won  at the tab after storm towelled up the raiders awesome ,0.0
20300,tommcfly you do look good with a bass though  xxx,0.0
20301,sourwine yes its all a balance ,0.0
20302,reminds me now that ive turned timothy chase on to boulder we can plan for our eventual ownership of a summer house in co ,0.0
20303,mikeborozdin im confused not sure what youre responding to ,2.0
20304,doing my enigeering genius ready for a vacation already ,2.0
20305,omg still havent got the puppy  didnt sleep well gonna go lay back down,2.0
20306,dying would probably solve all my problems i dont wanna get into it really but i just feel like if you think about it if i just died i wouldnt have to worry about anything i wouldnt have these thoughts pretty much everything would be fine like just an eternity of sleep idk i just feel like it would be more of an upside than anything else the only thing that stops me is the thought of how my parents would feel they would feel horrible and i wouldnt wish that feeling on anyone,3.0
20307,four days until graduation i should probably sleep i feel like getting a blackberry but javelin though cause it got super cute buttons ,0.0
20308, heck yeah and they are not too pretty anymoremore like green and brown now ,2.0
20309,im killing myself tonight im killing myself tonight these are my last words ive had all i can handle and im simply tired of dealing with everything go ahead and think it  im a giant bitch its fine that you think that whatever anyone thinks anymore is fine it wont matter to me soon im leaving behind nothing and itll be almost as if i never even existed in the first place id wondered when the day would be there were times i got close but i just really could not commit part of me wasnt ready those times but this is different i can feel it in my body and im ready,3.0
20310,jonathanrknight ohh dont even think it jonyour going to make me cry ,2.0
20311,english hw is shit math hw is bullshit ,2.0
20312,sleepy time dont wanna wake up early tom ,2.0
20313,im selling fidget magic cube style stress rel for  get it on shopee now  ,1.0
20314,heniadis i will allow it as long as i have brownies and steak and mashed potatoes when i get home ,0.0
20315,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
20316,going to go swimming  funn,0.0
20317,savagestar up to no good as usual ,0.0
20318,theelyon jepp ,0.0
20319,retrorewind dave i ask you for quotthe fixquot by jk and send hi to my sister lisette and me  alejandra  from mexico ,0.0
20320,ben having a lonesome five years for five years i havent had friends since  grade  people have changed over the years but i still havent im in  grade  now and i still sit alone at lunch  ive tried talking to my peers but all they are interested is sports and tik tok no offense to anyone who uses tik tok all i do is play video games watch anime and go to the gym  so basically ive been doing nothing with my life really because playing video games alone is just a waste and people make fun of you for watching anime  i always wanted to do sports like baseball or football but my parents wouldnt let me due to having the birth defect microtia which is basically missing an ear  i had to get  surgeries couples surgeries which was simple but the aftermath was difficult  apparently after each surgery my ear had to heal for a whole year leading to my parents keeping me clear from playing sports  i thought sports would be a great way to find friends but since i had a obstacle in my way it became impossible  i tried convincing my parents to do sports now but they think i wouldnt like it  i dont blame my parents for anything because they were just looking out for me and trying to keep my ear safe after all the surgeries people at school started noticing my ear because it was bigger  this lead to them talking trash and ignoring me completely  they thought my ear was gross apparently  in  i finally found a group of friends who liked video games and anime  however they didnt want me in their group because i wasnt a straight as student  they found me inferior  for those years i tried to study and bring up my grades but failed doing so  also throughout middle school i was getting bullied by a couple kids even in class but the teachers didnt do anything to help at all  some teachers even made me sit next to them in class  fortunately the bullying stopped after  grade because i didnt have them in any of my classes  now to high school and i still sit alone at lunch and i dread going to school each day  throughout freshmen year and sophomore year i became somewhat friends with the seniors but they all left  now im in  grade and im still sitting alone in a corner just scrolling through reddit  for  years i tried making friends but failed over and over again  im to the point of thinking im going to be like this forever  i mean ive done everything i tried joining clubs i tried making friends online i tried therapy guidance counselors i prayed for friends i did everything and yet so still fail this whole area i live in is just passionate about sports and tik tok its frustrating  im at the point where i think people hate me like its natural or something   i feel like a disappointment to my family because im such a loser  i tell my parents and my guidance counselor that im okay but in reality im not  i know there are people have way worse birth defects but i just hate being hated  its been five years and nothing has happened  i might as well live alone for the rest of my life when im older  i mean how the heck am i supposed to get a girlfriend when i cant even get one friend  i dont blame my parents or anyone  i blame myself for getting into this situation  i just wish i had friends or a girlfriend like everyone else does but i think being alone is probably my only option i dont think anything will change because if it did it wouldve happened years ago  maybe im just meant to be like this,3.0
20321,i would like to thank my hair today fir pretty much makin itself look good ,0.0
20322,rt lucidvibezz turn anxiety into curiosity,2.0
20323,i badly want to go to the itunes live festival on the  july but ill be on holiday ,2.0
20324,djninastakz  dangit man that is some bull lol u gonna have  check out my show gonna do the best to my abilities lol,2.0
20325,lifealicious do they edit press releases in this part of the world i thought ctrl ccrtl v ,0.0
20326,my mobile giving me real troublenow another strange thing happens an mms goes to an unknown person without me sending it ,2.0
20327,rt orwellngoode if you were to write that about anyone else it would be career suicide ,1.0
20328,i get the worst anxiety attacks,2.0
20329,i am dreading to to to work on sundays ,2.0
20330,ellemartens i would love to see some of your writings  i think youre a great writer for what i can judge,0.0
20331,happy bday tiara ,0.0
20332,has spent the day alone but waiting on others now to fit all the stuff she had to do into half an afternoon and no sunny dog walk ,2.0
20333,rt zonumettevy sharika aka  has been hospitalized for attempted suicide  why now after appearing to have a burst of drag,2.0
20334, mzicandy of course i will lmbo i wish i was talking to thomas  his bday is tomorrow and the c ,2.0
20335,i was in and out of a amp e in  mins last night  world record  another major badminton injury  badly bruised thumb ,2.0
20336,so the mashup hasnt gone down too well in the office now having to use earphones ,2.0
20337,jordanknight tinktinktinkthose silly kids of mine  ,0.0
20338,at the house having problems with my chick ,2.0
20339,trish got in an accident a lady ran a stop sign and hit her  car is totaled  shes okay  thank you god ,0.0
20340, toasterrodeo  i wanna play edward fortyhands ,2.0
20341,aplusk that made me laugh so hard ashton ,0.0
20342,i want to go see terminator again goodnight ,0.0
20343,im having a test tomorrow and i cant even get up from my bed a rant i cant feel anything now i cant do anything whenever i study i cant focus on the subject let alone to memorize all of it im worried and all i want is just to pass the test everybody in my class is worried of not getting as and  pointers and above everybody else seems normal,3.0
20344,awesome new songvideo about depression  breaking down by i prevail seeing this video yesterday really hit me hard i havent related to anything so much in a while and the song is seriously fucking awesome if you like hardmetal music then youll def like it but give it a try either way i bet it perfectly describes a lot of people here ,3.0
20345,omgia gia bb our fantasy family is missing you your  brothers and only sister want to play with you ,0.0
20346,being sick sucks as hell ,2.0
20347,  u shall not rename companionwe will find u ur own ratard haha,2.0
20348,just got attacked by a bird it was scary ,2.0
20349,rhondajojo my husband bought it at the store  ill let you know what it is when i get a chance  ,0.0
20350,going to where the tea trees are  ttyl  ,0.0
20351,i needed to share my thoughts im a total mess all help is welcome ive struggled with depression and anxiety for many years but the last  months have been an absolute nightmare i really could use some advicewords of support i feel like its impossible for me to be happy everything that i used to enjoy videogames films books doesnt relax me anymore which just brings me more anxiety it implies that something is really wrong with me that i cant be a normal human even when it comes to using the already small amount of free time i haveon the other hand ive had a lot of problems when it comes to concentration in the past few weeks i hardly ever achieve my goals so then i feel like a complete disaster it worsens my lack of confidence and motivation which leads me to failure again and that spiral never seems to end however when i do carry out my tasks im unable to recognize my effort as i can only see what hasnt been done yetim also hurting my friendships because of this i procrastinate reading all my messages for hours even days sometimes as i just want to be alone its really difficult for me to talk about my situation openly with anyone so probably people think that i just dont like talking to them which is absolutely not the caseive wanted to seek medical help for quite a long time but im afraid i lack money and time thank you all for reading this its my first post on reddit and sharing my feelings was a little frightening,3.0
20352,sleepydumpling i have folder for daily blogs and another for weekly  then i have a craft folder fashion and makeup,0.0
20353,hells no i cant do both im a fat ass i cant  spiceflow,2.0
20354,urgh my crane project has been put on hold for now wont have the time to finish them until later i havent even finished half it ,2.0
20355,its very very difficult to find a good blogger template ,2.0
20356, yep they take ages to get comfy try taking then in the sea and then walking in them ,0.0
20357,its beautiful weather so sunny and warm  its too be warm again tomorrow woohoo pity im working ,0.0
20358,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
20359,mattgould hiiiii i miss you wish we could hang tonight   ,2.0
20360,xxjwentworthxx yesssss ,2.0
20361,its going to be another beautiful day ,0.0
20362,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
20363,shares  twitter cupcakes  ,0.0
20364,looking for gaming friends due to reasons im not really going to explain without making a throwaway ive been away from gaming for a long time but i wanted to build a pc and play some multiplayer games again im a real big fan of fps games and enjoy the slightly competitive environments although i dont consider myself to be very good at them id say the top two issues though are a i dont know what the best multiplayer games at the moment are aside from like fortnite and dota and lol and  i dont really have anyone to play with which would kind of feel isolating sorry if this doesnt really fit with this sub i live on the west coast of the us and usually have free time like  at night,3.0
20365,rt hollygraceful sad that i wrote an introduction to pentesting aws but didnt make an introduction to pentesing azurei did its here,2.0
20366,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
20367,i thin she is sending jake home she thinks hes too perfect   bachelorette,2.0
20368,i want to stop being depressed i always try to be more open minded and have a little hope each time i wake up to another day but for future reference i wish to be more careful i dont want to end up killing myself after reaching this far i want to stop depression if i cant stop it at least give me an advice on how to hold it i really hate this feelings in my chest i just want to cry,3.0
20369,ddubskymonkey thank you tamz  im now on a mission to be donnies cover girl at my concert,0.0
20370,a lingering thought lately i keep having this thought on sticking a gun into my mouth and for no reason it felt good and secure like its the only sane thing to do pulling the trigger makes it even more satisfying watching your brains splattered all over the floor seems like the cure im having a depression right now this idea on blowing your brains out sometimes would just pop up out of nowhere i know its not the right thing to do as we must keep on fighting but yeah just wanna share my thoughts on it and release some of those negative steam  peace and stay strong everyone keep fighting the good fight 👊🏼,3.0
20371,itsmisskaye what happened to your pic  i cant see it anymore ,2.0
20372,crissangel noooooooooo your pretty hair why did u do that ,2.0
20373,thatkellygirl yay just getting no replies today ,2.0
20374,keshav lucky you ,0.0
20375,chevell i could use my nextg phone as a datamodem but my cap doesnt include data on that phone blast my adsl is throttled ,2.0
20376,its leslie elaine reardon day  yay suck it cassie ,0.0
20377,desertdweller turns out we had tootsie pops at the movie and now fish tacos ,0.0
20378,alright tweeps im out gotta be up for work in  hrs  goodnight,2.0
20379,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
20380,im counting the days until i see the  people that make meme i would be a total mess without them thank the lord for music ,0.0
20381,candacejg awesomely im getting so freakin excited ,0.0
20382,off to mk shirt shopping ,0.0
20383,tristantales there will be other fairytales waiting ,0.0
20384,are soo mad i just bought mngs sunnies and the screw came out i dont even use yet ,2.0
20385,i cant wait to die everythings so fucking tiring im just sitting in my kitchen pretending to be a kid again im watching the sun go down through the window at fivethirty in the afternoon pretending like its nineoclock on a summer evening and the suns only starting to set im pretending like im hearing the neighbourhood kids ride their roller skates over the street hearing the wheels rumble whenever they pass over a pothole that the city refuses to come and fix and im wishing i hadnt thrown my whole childhood away im wishing for a walk down the townhouse complex and coming out on the other end of the plaza just as the sky starts to turn dark i know that in a couple months the fucking canadian winter will be over and if im not completely deteriorated then to the point where its an effort to even try to move ill try to be a kid again ill open the garage and play with my favourite wilson volleyball right in the middle of the street  with myself because my family dont want to do anything with me anymore and i dont need to ask any of my friends to know that they wouldnt want to either all my neighbourhood friends have either moved away or stopped talking to me i remember the little girl with the tire swing on the tree in her lawn and me picking up the seedlings and stashing them away in the garage i remember the girl that lived next door and the birthday party with the bouncy castle the two sets of two brothers and the old mans house seperating their own i remember the shithole that was first grade and how i came out the other end of it happier than i was when i came in and all the fucking parentteacher interviews and the volleyball matches after school that i never got to go to i remember looking at the highrise apartments glistening where the sun shone on them and never figuring out that one day id want everything back so badly when this fucking ridiculous season is over im going to go to the courtyard and im going to sit in the middle of it right where the school paid that guy to spraypaint the image of a snake with the alphabet on it and im going to think about everything and everyone ive let go of i cant wait to die im never going to try it til its time but i cant fucking wait ,3.0
20386,i wish someone record the david concert and show it to me so sad ,2.0
20387,nobody said it was easy ,2.0
20388,teacher on spring break  day of spring break massive downturn feeling flat just wanted to share,3.0
20389,lines vines and trying times will be in my hands tommorow ,0.0
20390,rt andeemagee nvm i was having a minute im back ,0.0
20391,swings from mundane planningtasks to dying this is hard to even admit to and i dont know why im here  i guess im just hoping im not alone in this  i should say up front i do not want to die  i have a loving partner and a loving family and they are everything to me  but i go from trying to pick out a spice rack and other little home project type things to two hours later sitting in front of my window and thinking about how its a long way down what it would be like maybe i should tell someone im feeling this way do i need to go to a hospital or call a therapist immediately etc  what is this  i feel like i want to talk to someone about it but how do i explain how i was perfectly fine and then to a very dark place in such a short span  like  hi dear i went grocery shopping picked out a spice rack but also spent some time pondering jumping off the balcony today  ,3.0
20392,warrenbennett alas chocolate is now a thing of my past diagnosed as type  diabetic yesterday  enjoy the choccie im jealous ,2.0
20393,hsbsuzanne older and old is quiet a big difference i dont consider people quotoldquot until theyre in their  ,0.0
20394,velasss iya la gue maunya series  easier to watch ,0.0
20395,recently lapsed back into my depression hey guys im new to this subreddit im  now and i first became depressed when i was about  there were a couple years that it seemed to disappear but for some reason these past couple months its gotten so much worse than it ever was ive been thinking about suicide every day not really planning to do it because i dont want to die just thinking about it more than i probably should be like some sort of morbid obsession i keep thinking of how i would kill myself if i ever decided to and i get this sinking feeling that ill end up doing it someday just because i cant imagine any sort of future for myselfi dont really have much going on that would entail this recent reappearance of depression in my life things arent really so bad i guess it just likes to strike at worst times possiblebut ive cut myself a few times just to see what it was like and i knew that i shouldnt since i didnt want it to be a habit and i knew it was wrong but i felt like there was this part of my brain that i wasnt fully in control of and that it was stronger than the rational part of my brain that was begging me not to do it if that makes any senseanyway i guess i just sort of wanted to vent does anyone else feel like theyre not in control of themselves like no matter how hard you try you cant force yourself to do what you know you should sort of like something is forcing your handsorry if these are common questions i havent really ever talked to anyone else with depression i just wanted to get some things off of my chest is allthanks for listening and hopefully someone sees this,3.0
20396,alexderossi but youre such a great actress keep it up ,0.0
20397,i made it to gym at  this morning and now feel like a million bucks  call me crazy ,0.0
20398,punkpolkadots dont worry well host limeice here ,0.0
20399,only  days till dtm cant wait ,0.0
20400,heathersmusic those are also lyrics to a rather enjoyable david byrne tune ,0.0
20401,dollhouse was amazing tonight cant wait for the season finale next week its getting intense ,0.0
20402,im feeling unloved in my relationship ive been talking to this girl i kind of knew for a few months now and weve recently got together at first i was so happy i felt the happiest i had for well over  years but now that time has gone on as little time as it may be it just seems that she doesnt care about me and doesnt even remotely like me i just get blunt responses over text and in person and she just ignores me sometimes i try to talk about my problems with her and she just brushes them off or ignores me again but when shes got problems im right there listening to her and talking them through with her now i just feel like i used to feel and ive been getting really depressed again especially this past week and i dont know what to do anyone been in or is currently in a similar situation,3.0
20403,drum roll pleasethis is tweet  is all ,0.0
20404, yep  i was watching tv haha bradiewebb andyclemmensen shaundiviney shortstack,0.0
20405,mileycyrus that would be so cool you both are very talented ,0.0
20406,danisach im reaaally sick  u there,2.0
20407,rjmin haizz i found out many many many lucky girls here  poor meeeee hah  chc l� ti k c� duy�n ri ,2.0
20408,kaylajanine i guess i am   it was sold out,2.0
20409,vuze got a version of the video that works outside of the states  a torrent perhaps ,0.0
20410,do you remember the last time you were happy the last time i was happy was probably like  years ago  ive been in a slump waiting to get out but i can see how you can fall deep in a hole and forget being happy when was the last time you were happy how long ago,3.0
20411,rainbowlezzy im sorry for that    i wish i had a magic quotall betterquot pill for both of us,2.0
20412,ate at miyako last minute trip errands magazines nails done etc etc already missing frankie and we havent even left yet ,2.0
20413,positive understood all questions in exam woo negative stupid wrist seized up  but i think i passed which is tops,2.0
20414,shawncberg ok  maybe wendsday today or tomorrow i gotta get laundry and tanning done ,0.0
20415,is sure that archie will eventually leave veronica and run back to the waiting arms of betty ,0.0
20416,a poem i wrote about loneliness anxiety and depression i struggle a lot with anxiety and depression ive left the house only a handful of times in the last  years and i somehow cant bring myself to get my life together no matter how much i want to i wrote a poem last week and posted it on reddit and i was blown away by the positive response i also found it very therapeutic putting my feelings down in words so ive written another one i hope you enjoy itsolitudethe voice in my headis the only familiar voice i hear in a week or twothe dark ensuesa loneliness tells me that lifes for twobut where and whohow do i find someone for talking toa person whowill listen and care like i want them toto confide intoto tell me its fine when i need them tosolitudethat familiar place in that hotel room inside my mindthat same old viewpull up one chair to a game for twolying alone in a bed made to rest two peoples heads onmy dreams are fewthe familiar hand of loneliness grips my heart tight and i cant pry it loosei tell myself again and againthat i wont feel this pain in a year or twobut out of the bluequick as a flash  years can elapse now at the rate of fewa moment in timeyears goes byso much quicker than i ever want them toi was  years on feels like  minutes passed in the space of two years ago i thought  years from thenid be happy by now but im more consumedim just confusedat how i allow myself to sit back while my life falls throughi try to ignore but the pain comes throughmy whole body achesi just need a break for a minute or twoim screaming insidei cry all the timealone and afraid i wont make it throughsolitude,3.0
20417,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
20418,i more photo shoots this season  high pointflying out to brazil  on location,2.0
20419,gregreade already home ,2.0
20420,free day  and tomorrow next free day xd,0.0
20421,not looking forward to uni waaahh ,2.0
20422,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
20423,giving up fantasy i know i daydream too much i fandom too much i selfinsert too much im a grownass woman i should be focused on living my real life and the daydreaming prevents me from doing that it makes it harder to do that because i have something better going on in my head  but without fantasy all im left with is a boring job and an empty house whenever i jolt myself back into reality i feel like crying in my dreams i have reasons to be alive in real life i dont theres no point to my job i dont like it it only just pays my rent it doesnt make the world a better place to live in and then i come home to myself no ones waiting for me and i tried for years to make it better and it never got betteri cant stop why would i want to live in a reality where im aimless unsuccessful and unloved when i could have all the things i want and be younger smarter and stronger somewhere else why be here,3.0
20424,isnt looking forward to double further tomorrow clairewiedemann  dont forget the tic tacs i am also coming armed with jila ,0.0
20425,feeling sick from the zoo ,2.0
20426,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
20427,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
20428,cassyobrien baybay seriously sit down ahh thats really bad  you havent fucked anything up whats going on,2.0
20429,my family keeps laughing at me for having a voice like a frog ,2.0
20430,thanktank hey thank you for the shout out ,0.0
20431,im done i cant take it anymore the stresses of everyday life money keeping in contact going outside large crowds my severe adhd my therapist wont help me im behind  months on rent and bills the only reason i was surviving before was because i had to make sure my ex was ok oh yeah i also ended a toxic relationship i cant do this anymore i cant do working and focusing on my mental health due to my adhd its not an excuse anything to do with money sends me spiraling im on my last vyvanse and i dont have health insurance id go inpatient if i didnt have cats i love to much to let go of one of my cats is the only reason i didnt kill myself the only time everything slows down for me is when im stoned weed  my life is literally falling apart and i cant do anything to stop it anymore i just cant,3.0
20432,constantly thinking about how everything has an arbitrary meaning to it i am constantly thinking about how we as humans have constructed our own meaning out of everything we know how we have constructed almost everything we know out of our own imaginations i guess im gonna sound a bit ridiculous but sometimes it almost feels fraudulent for example ill just be working on something i like to do and all of a sudden my mind is like how dare you enjoy xyz it has no true purpose then ill just get disappointed and stop doing what i was doing it gets to the point where i cant feel i go numb and get nauseous sometimes i dont feel real almost like im staring myself down through a tv screen i know this is a rambling mess but its a constant existential crisis and i cant even find the exact words to explain what happens sometimes i just want to know if anyone else can relate to it and what they do to cope or what they feel about a situation like this,3.0
20433,fun for kidz birthday party today so excited ,0.0
20434,man commits suicide days after making a controversial facebook post httpstcolcalepurlz,1.0
20435,tonight i am firing up the torch  no matter what  i will play with fire tonight  something to look forward to all day ,0.0
20436,fartingpen what noooooo beg borrow or steal pls b  bikes today ,2.0
20437,going for stingray at clementi later to eat  rwar,0.0
20438,artyxlorna tell me about it ,2.0
20439,dear men please leave me alone thank you sincerely ava michele ,2.0
20440,tatiny yeah its heartbreaking  who could do that to a loved pet,2.0
20441,rt ehjovon how many days is too long to reply im starting to feel bad in between depression naps,2.0
20442,rain in ticino ,2.0
20443,break free from fear and anxiety with this free  devotional and resource guide usershareurlive not read this but 👀 ,1.0
20444,freezing my ars off in the shade german ich frier mir den arsch ab im schatten french jme gele le cul a lombretain ,2.0
20445,iwilldoit iwilldoit iwilldoit iwilldoit thank you thank you thank you ,0.0
20446,sologigolos nice on iphone os let me know if it rocks miss mine now    oh and not freelancing just working from home this week,2.0
20447,i miss mcfly last night so much i was front row centre  danny was making me laugh so much lol,0.0
20448,my computer room always gets really hot just after dinner and it stays like that until i go to bed ,2.0
20449,well its not rashards or turks fault who can i blame besides them nice  pointer rashard ,2.0
20450,bexielady uh no  i was definitely not raised in a rugby loving home either not part of my culture at all really lol,0.0
20451,contact lensesall fun and games till u gotta take em out ,2.0
20452,sophiaxxxx i couldnt get a ticket  plus i wasnt really in the mood to see them but wished i went haha,2.0
20453,tools are all cleaned organized and put away im sure they will be back out this week though ,0.0
20454,mikenealis no that would make me sad ,2.0
20455,aaaaaaahhh ive got white bits  oh phew just on my feet from my flipflopsat least my suntans not coming off,2.0
20456,maryrroberts oh this could be fun hey cwaterhouse think she knows deanouellette  pretty sure we got a live one here ,0.0
20457,had a blast w my ph bitches  love those girls   bingo serving these bingo fiends wout bff ,2.0
20458,rt marksolutely jenos armpit is even clearer and nicer than my face this is so sad alexa play go by nct dream ,0.0
20459,suicidal thoughts cheer me up i have lived my life every single day with negativityfrom young i would think that i would die  my parents would die everyone i loved was going to die  if my parents went back home late  i would think that they have  been involved in an accident even if anyone i loved went on a school trip i thought what if they dont come back every night before going to sleep i would imagine if this would be my last night or when i woke up i would see my mom or dad laying dead what would i feel then  if i woke up  i would feel relievedbut that was back then          my life in middle school was quite okay  i had quite a lot of friends but the ones who stood by me was only  or  people not being a grateful person  i was annoyed with the ones who stood by me  i would try to ignore them but i couldnt because they were the ones who was with me through thick and thin  when i was alone  i thought i would be better off because no one seemed to care  from young i had the capability to smile and hide my feeling deep down  even though i was feeling down and my friends would ask me if i was ok and i smiled right away and said i was ok  i would isolate myself and make minimal contact as possible          as life went on in middle school  i started to feel more and more left out as i dont have good social skills  i would often feel down and started to have suicidal thoughts but it is forbidden in my religion i would pray to god to let me be diagnosed with fatal diseases such as cancer  i have imagined everything from the moment ill be diagnosed till the moment ill die  first off  when ive been diagnosedi will tell my mom and my family  if they love me and dont want me to die they will probably cry but if they dont theyll just be shocked and take slight actions  then  i will tell my batchmates about me being diagnosedand they too will either be pitiful or they could just not care when i come home  i will receive treatments like chemotherapy  during the treatments  some of my friends and relatives who care will come and visit meand when my time has come  my family will be standing beside me comforting me until the moment my soul leave my body  my relatives and friends will continue on with their life and will remember me and feel sadi wishhh          i wish that will happen to me someday  even though my life isnt as shitty and horrible as some people  i just want to die and not live anymore  to all those people feeling the same way  i hope that you will overcome this negativity and strive through life  because your life matters more than mine ,3.0
20460,coconutsolution i installed  beta before   bugs with intel chipsets made me downgrade ,2.0
20461, mohegan next thurs lol or mansfield on fri i think those are the closest ones on a weekend saratoga is on a tuesday ,2.0
20462,takethatonco toyotaobsession jimherd andersonztake   xooja  ackdoc ,1.0
20463, i do  i cant help but love skanky ass nexus,0.0
20464,maneeacc i dont know time is far from abundant i dont have wheels gotta fix that so i can visit i miss the pioneer valley ,2.0
20465,thirtysomethin not what i call a perfect day but i am making it hope urs is better  gotta go pick up my daughter from school see u all,0.0
20466,umathermals not yet didnt want to scare pipetheridge away ,0.0
20467,rt happinoona bighit isnt commenting on the matter bc its private family matter i hope we follow their lead by giving him and his fami,0.0
20468,my damn memory stick is not working  cant upload pic ,2.0
20469,thehivemind way to go for letting your work speak for you ,0.0
20470,im eating purple yum right now and it so delicious ,0.0
20471,i missed and miss my friends now ,2.0
20472,aibeengi youre not yet done even im sleepy lol goodluck energize ,0.0
20473,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
20474,really dont want to hear about period pads when im eating ,2.0
20475,i am so stiff after the midnight walk ,2.0
20476,rt jrhodespianist when they weigh baby koalas they sometimes do it with a toy to stop separation anxiety from its mum youre welcome ht,1.0
20477,yipee just signed up for an ecourse with creativethurs  so happy been waiting for this for so long,0.0
20478,goin to take the baby to petco to get pampered thanks autizzy ,0.0
20479,you cant put liza up for an award and not have her win  like with angela lansbury earlier both very deserving though of course tonys ,0.0
20480,and yes i was able to pick up the sigma lens ,0.0
20481,feezmior ure not the only one ,2.0
20482,good morning mariaandros i like that song too im praying now ,0.0
20483,jon and kate plus  is just plain depressing now ,2.0
20484,rt bizzycrook i dont think mental health is spoken about enough in our societyespecially amongst the youth,1.0
20485,musicianator awww  well youre not the only one im at home today sick as well sanitised hi five electric blankets ftw,2.0
20486,rt mrsv so if anyone would like to help  move out thatd be great ,0.0
20487,i really need a job but there is none dwn here ahh money suks but i need it   ,2.0
20488,just got home from work and is going to have a bath and watch a film ,0.0
20489,hear that u hear tht its probably some cats fighting on your front porch im off to bed  goodnight everyone ,0.0
20490,photoshoot today  ,0.0
20491,laptop battery last  hrs is record time for me   it s always dead after  minutes i fall in love again with my laptop,0.0
20492,iamthenovel this book saved me from a massive depression when trump was elected it couldnt have come at a better ,2.0
20493,spending an evening chilling out ,0.0
20494,its way to cold here in santa cruz ,2.0
20495,in soho where im working theyve moved office in with some sales guys i think one of them is complaining madrid was full of gays ,2.0
20496,canageek sadly no  ,2.0
20497,want to go back to zaxbys despite the incredibly bad service i got last time ,2.0
20498, aw poor guy  probably was so nervous he just started babbling,2.0
20499,rt avibebert therapists say trump anxiety disorder is a real thing in us  via youtube,1.0
20500,praying for my friend her best friend just lost her  month old grandbaby  probably to sids     ,2.0
20501,delilahsays depressing even more depressing is that im still not on it ,2.0
20502,same,1.0
20503,happy monday ,0.0
20504,we played a bad show ,2.0
20505,well its nice and swell and fresh to death  but i gotta jet and kick some ath ,0.0
20506,elizabethn i may be in the us for it in which case ill attend but if its off my own back i cant afford to go ,2.0
20507,emotionalpedant thats cool ill be getting coraline for sure ,0.0
20508,i am sooooo so tired i dont think i ever want pizza again ,2.0
20509,bcberrie between the two there will soon be nothing left of you ,0.0
20510,man i just rubbed my eye and got grease in it and boy it stings  comfort food isnt supposed to hurt  this blows,2.0
20511,dh is off to a wedding reception shortly i cant go because noone will look after my little grotbagsi mean darlings for the night ,2.0
20512,cant sleep and i miss my puppy ,2.0
20513,rebekahxoxo sweet thanks i lovee it ,0.0
20514,im a littlebit sick i think ,2.0
20515,have to wake up early for baseball  ,0.0
20516,i just got really tired and like sadlonely all at once so goodnight loves,0.0
20517,not even sure what im doing title says it all im  not sure why im posting here ive been dealing with depression and anxiety issues for the better part of a decade at this point ive had periods where im up and long periods where im down im just feeling lonely i suppose like no one could or should love me i hate even talking like that because i dont want to feel like im asking for a pity party but its how i feel ive tried plan after plan and i always end up in failure due to my own actions or inaction i guess if theres anything i want to say to all of you its that i hope you are having a better day and that things start to look up for all of us ,3.0
20518,goiin  da beach ,0.0
20519,magicmileycyrus wow you really tlike miley cyrus huh ,0.0
20520,isaiahzekedavis dam son where dat shirt u been promisin me for  yrs u n trix don sho a sista no brooklyn love ,2.0
20521,deecantu  i wish i could have been there to see them with you wish you were here,2.0
20522,homesteadwool hi sheepies ,0.0
20523,to bed i go   nighty night,0.0
20524,almost died imagine a world wo  bre that make alot of fgs happyamp fg that are inlove with joel would be happy too but tehkatie ,2.0
20525,im so ill  my first exam is on monday and i havnt been able to revise for it and now the stress of tht ismaking me more ill,2.0
20526,lost a ton of weight but still feel suicidal ive lost  pounds in weight since christmas and i thought maybe it would help me feel better i still feel ugly fat and useless im hopeless with women and have a dead personality which makes me feel awful about myself ive been heavily considering suicide for years now and i think after ive proved myself i cant change its time to do it,3.0
20527, why cant you cum see me tonite ,2.0
20528,its freezing where is the sun  hi btw,2.0
20529,i quit my job after having several mental break downs over the month and im even more scared my  birthday is in two days and i am now unemployed with no friends the only people i have in my life are my parents and my two cats its only day three of not having a job but i have slept almost constantly since quitting im so scared and i dont know how to process this,3.0
20530,ladeeslim im goodsleep deperived at the moment but other than thatlifes gucci ,0.0
20531,anitajoint beer ,0.0
20532,ophelia it is a shame because it shows very little respect for the castproduction but sadly inevitable even on the forum ,2.0
20533,im disappointed no sambuca this weekend ,2.0
20534,it will never get better you say its gonna get better to get you through the unbearable times when you cant possibly take another breath and it gets a little easier but it never actually gets better because even when its good and right now its really great its still really bad really really bad and that scares me more than anything because i know i wont be able to make it very much longer the only thing keeping me going is turning my life into a performance for others and even that isnt working i guess i tried my very fucking hardest at the end of the day im just really fucking sorry im so sorry to myself for having to wake up every day fighting for my life in a battle against the core of my being thats not fair no one deserves that im so sorry self im so sorry to the ones who have watched me and built relationships with me they wont ever understand that i dont feel like i exist so no matter how much i love them i dont feel like any moment we ever shared was real and nothing matters im so sorry to my parents for all the time and energy they put into meim just really fucking sorry i wish this couldve turned out differently i really fucking do i wish i could wake up and sit down and say wow it was really hard baby but you made it through but i cant and i did make it through only to see that fear and fear are two sides of the same coin and that used to keep me going but now it just fills me with lead sorry ,3.0
20535,my mom died on sept   my mom went into the hospital in new jersey on sept  my mom had lung cancer she suddenly went down hill and we rushed her to the hospital i was in the room with her when she passed away the morning of sept  the funeral home came and got her i was waiting for my step father to come back from homesuddenly i felt something like a rumble and out the window i saw smoke rising and didnt know what happened a few minutes later i saw nurses and doctors running and grabbing all kind of stuff from each rooma nurse asked me to wait in the lobby because they were going to need the room i bagged up my moms stuffsomeone told me what happened  i was crying for my mom and all those peopleeven though my moms death wasnt related to the actual attack it felt like it went hand in handon sept  i have to turn the tv off or ill wind up in the hospital from a panic attack that have caused me to faint before,3.0
20536,i found my friends and my twin and he gave me five dollars ,0.0
20537,arphaus awesome my ds  has exploded as of late with reading too  all organically not forced lifelong love of reading begins,0.0
20538,are repliesmentions playing up or is the whole twitterverse just ignoring me ,2.0
20539,mileycyrus i really really really miss my brother too  but mines not in japan haha,2.0
20540,unfortunately the mist didnt turn into actual rain  im pretty disappointed about it ,2.0
20541,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
20542,hi i are coty and i want vannas vag lawlz ,0.0
20543,i need to work on my take home final today once i finish im officially done with school ,0.0
20544,cant wait for thorpe park tomorrow and festival sat  xxx,0.0
20545,taigitsune th carrot is mightier than the stick for me ,0.0
20546,omg really mad camping today come on tom and the dress ive just gone to order has sold out   i hope camping is good,2.0
20547,i cant express my anger towards myself every day i wake up with a lot of hate not like i really hate people around me but i hate myself really bad i should really get my lazy ass to do some work like try to do anything for school or socialize a bit more but i just happily waste entire days to a stupid videogame or just listening to music this selfloathing is coming to a point where i actually start to hurt myself not as a way as distraction but with the sole purpose of expressing my hatred towards myself music has a will not a free will but music will change you you can decide which music you want to listen and which feeling you want to feel sometimes i have a really hard time to feel any emotion at all so those are the moments i listen to sad music usually i feel way too much emotions like selfhate those are the moments music has really saved me especially aggressive metal like the band slipknot i agree this genre is pretty aggressive and not a really good influence on me as a person at nights when i listen to their albums i can finally escape from myself not because i can relate to the music though slipknot doesnt really focus on selfhate but they express a huge hatred towards all kinds of people around them fake friends bullies people who abandon you things like that you get the point if i listen to them i start to actually feel this way i actually get the feeling i am not to blame for all my problems someone else has fucked me up somebody else made me the way i feel i can finally be free from my selfhate in this hateful music at times like these i actually try to find ways in which some of the people around me made me a depressed bag of shit i find id rather hate the people around me than to hate myself i would really like to blame someone for my situation but i just cant this feeling usually fades away pretty quick and the old familiar selfhate comes back again i really want something to change but i just dont have the energy and the motivation to do something last week my selfharm was pretty bad to the point where i actually started to worry about my own safety maybe i should tell someone other than a few good friends about this all do i actually want people to care about me usually i dont like attention but i cant live without it i always enjoy the moment when someone seems to care about me but that doesnt happen that muchthank you for reading this i just wanted to share this story,3.0
20548,lisasahani  what in the heck are u doing up at this hour glad to see ya ,0.0
20549,i think i got food poisoning from a midnight run to ihop ,2.0
20550,molliedeex haha thanks ,0.0
20551, m much to my disbelief things continue to get darker sigh where do i begin well i know its a strong word but i hate every aspect of my life spare my cats in a broken abusive gaslighting marriage  that im trapped in im  years old with no trade or a decent job i have a drivers license but my wife does not so any extra classes a second job and ect are a no go i hate my looks im a skinny white dude that looks like a creepy killer or something i have no goals anything is really unachievable with my life circumstances my friends and hobbies have been completely isolated by my wife before i met her if spend a thousand hours a summer on the water its been  years since ive been on a boati have no insurance trying to get promoted to full time at my job because im about ready to take something to reset my brain because it is fucked for now i smoke more weed than a guy should the last week ive just worked my  hour days and went home to do literally nothing i tried firing up the xbox the past two days but i didnt have it in me to even playi tied a noose and have it in my trunk ive even had nightmares maybe i could call it a dream that i do it struggling for air is where i wake up i play that and a few other self destructive scenes through my head dozens and dozens of times every day people try to be friendly and say hi its exausting faking a half smile so i dont get am empty are you alright just let me rot ffs lol  im pretty much out of things to make me happy not in my life the world outside isnt much better either i literally dont see an escape besides dissappearing i wish divorce was as easy said as done it would be a start but my wife is very very dependent on me also shes very spiteful so its fucked either wayhave a nice week reddit i know i wont 😂,3.0
20552,both dogs are having a war over a toy how cute ,0.0
20553,i need to start looking for a new job i havent been at this one long but i dont think it is going to work i want to go back to school ,2.0
20554,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
20555,why am i here im on the verge of committing suicide i dont know what the point of my useless life is im just a parasite a burden a nuisance too many people care for me even though they shouldnt have to they even told my parents so now i have to fake my happiness just faking a smile for an hour is so exhausting maybe i should just die my friends and family wouldnt have to deal with me anymore if i did hahaha i dont know,3.0
20556,littlestarred i can do the one tomorrow lol but not london ,2.0
20557,i really wanted to like rocket league its the only game i still play i see people doing all thee crazy trick shots and air dribbles but when i try i to play i feel like the whole game is rigged  i swear ive seen the ball change trajectory without anyone touching it i thought that guy was using a lag switch not sure any of the physics are client side though i seem to lose kickoffs no matter what i do this is in bronze so id be surprised if anyone knows how to wave dash or waste all my boost and i feel like im losing to my controls and ballcam not the other player  end up typing psychotic rants in chat because i dont know how to throw a punch over the internet  probably going to cop a ban soon  id feel a lot better if i knew what i was doing wrong but all the youtube tutorials in the world arent helping  you guys all fucking suck and i hate you just like irl,3.0
20558,can anyone relate to this you ever break down because you think about your exs and your family and your friends and you realize again that nobody has ever loved you without conditions like every relationship youve had in your life has always been built on what you can do for them and never built on who you are as a person you have no close friends your family kicks you out every other day and youve never relied on anyone but yourself you pick yourself up when your down and youre an inconvenience to everyone when you arent  happy and a bank account it hurts deep inside and i think to myself do other people have people that love them for them do other people have loving families and support systems,3.0
20559, and all those i left behind in st andrews   xxx,2.0
20560,air france just entered trending topics on twitter realtime news in action ,0.0
20561,off to sub in clinton hope they actually need me today d but hey at least i got more than  hours of sleep last night ,0.0
20562,how come i dont see no tetris logo on google happy bday anyways tetris ,0.0
20563,my life has done a  ive been really depressed lately and never do i inflict it upon myself its always the world around me that messes me up whether its getting humiliated or falling in love with someone who hates me and just like that it all changed within two days im trying to figure out why why does everybody love me all of a sudden why is life suddenly amazing u could say that my brain flipped the switch itself and im ignoring all the bad thats happening to me but im genuinely not i cant find anything bad thats happened to me  except when i sat in the wrong spot and someone told me i couldnt sit there why is it like this ,3.0
20564,nuttybee at least its nearly lunchtime and you can slump off home for an hour ,0.0
20565,grilling at karas then home to work on the seed project for a bit and yes seed project is a code name ,0.0
20566,is hangin in civic with the dare boy had a great arvo so far ,0.0
20567,theineffabelle oh no   hugs,2.0
20568,never sleeps at during the night just in the wee hours of the morning ,0.0
20569,tryna sing dis song maani cant catch tha beat ,2.0
20570,suzannetennant i guess it all depends on what you consider a classic ,0.0
20571,beautiful day outside and i have a ton of work ,2.0
20572,i avoid feelings to the point that i cant even remember the last time i cried i used to cry all the time and sometimes id even watch a video i know would make me cry just so i could have a cathartic cry and get my feelings outits not that i cant feel things its that i avoid doingwatchingthinking about anything that could make me feel somethingi watch the same tv shows and movies over and over again the ones that arent too deep are generally lighthearted and ive already seen them a thousand times so there are no surprises any of the more emotional episodessegments i skip i think ive watched the entire series of parks and rec and the office at least  times each at this point i skip over sad videos or ones that i know will make me angry or stir some kind of emotional response in mei cant even read my favorite books anymore because they make me nostalgic and i cant handle feeling iti avoid socializing because i have social anxiety as well and depression feeds into it but also because if i end up having fun it has to end sometime and then i have to go home and be sad and lonely againwhen my depression manifested as crying all the time over everything and nothing i was miserable now im just a different kind of miserable not feeling anything ever i wouldnt say one is more preferable i just dont want to exist anymore,3.0
20573,amazing night   now six flags   then drinkkkk ,0.0
20574,thirdwayman sorry didnt read it but it sure caused a lot of anxiety for the people who did,1.0
20575,goodnight  see you when thee sun rises  ,0.0
20576,body dysmorphia has been eating away at me for  years now sick of dealing with it want help want out of it but i cant seem to find a solution how to even find someone to relate to it,3.0
20577,retrorewind i believe u are a straight great guy  please tell me a little of what dw is really like please,0.0
20578,oh a good workout now i need a nap too bad i have to work  ,2.0
20579,rt  o h ,1.0
20580,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
20581,missing becky ,2.0
20582,hello tweeters ,0.0
20583,this one has heat stress the shocking reality of live animal exports,1.0
20584,we made you ,0.0
20585,rt whosalex when lil peep overdosed all i saw on social media was well what did you think would happen but now that demi lovato overdos,0.0
20586, hang out we must  i miss it,0.0
20587,rt sadscotsman if you think depression is a choice that people make fuck off and die,2.0
20588, thanks  i hope so bye  finchensnail hello again ,0.0
20589,jmaxxz sssshhhhhi run both at work ,0.0
20590,what a waste of a lovely sunny day planning this half terms science this weeks literacy and writing school reports ,2.0
20591,how can you cope knowing your parents read through your messages this is how i am raised and i firmly believe its not right to do so however i cant do anything to change it so how can you at least cope through all this how can i live normally,3.0
20592,these are  am insomniac thoughts,2.0
20593,rightasrain love your shop on etsylots of great products in there  ,0.0
20594,dont want to go on but too much of a coward to do anything i graduated university two years ago and left after a family member passed on i left for a new city  miles away after that didnt even thinkmoving to this new place was super hard talk about adjustment issuesi met a girl and found a shitty job that i was overqualified for due to anxiety i was later fired from this shitty jobwent back to schoolwho knows why and eventually fucked that up tooi sold the family heirloom car that got me here and broke up with the girlfriend after i fucked up that semester and took another my dad was buying me a new one i ended up having a mental breakdown in front of family in the new and old citiesi drove back to the new city and stayed to see the girlfriend i ended up getting snowed inso now ive been in this new city for  months and i dont know what to doi want to diei guess i could go home to the farm drive back the car fly back and drive the other car backmy situation is just so weird haha i just feel so alone i voluntarily admitted myself to the mental hospital after visiting my psychiatrist and now i am unlikely to ever gain the security clearance for some of the jobs i want ive broken down in front of most of my family and now they must think im fucking nuts i guess i am i just feel my life has no purpose anymore i guess i can try to change things also i have some serious health issues including a degenerating spinal conditionfucksorry for bitching i feel like i had everything going for me and now i have nothing,3.0
20595,needing advice on checking myself into the hospital my family members arent available to come with me today to check myself in to the hospital they are at work i have suicidal idealations and have been severely depressed for a couple of months this morning i woke up feeling physically sick and i think i want to check myself into the hospital for mental help im really afraid of making the decision alone can anyone help me understand what the procons are i am unemployed totally broke and am unable to pay bills ive applied online for insurance today but im not sure how long that will take im at a total loss right now,3.0
20596,back from milandead tired ,2.0
20597,sirvinya i sure will  my bf treated me i am soooo chuffed ,0.0
20598,just got done with silverwood so much fun coming home ,2.0
20599,idolscott we adore you no matter what we know yer busyhope you like the new phone ya picked uptheres some great ones out there ,0.0
20600,had the best time with aj at the drivein last night  cant wait til camp tomorrow so stoked ,0.0
20601,mpnevess well make sure youre properly taken care of here dont worry ,0.0
20602,no one talks about how depression can be gross i feel so fucking gross i cant take care of myself because of my depression i dont brush my hair enough i dont shower enough and i dont brush my teeth enough when i finally muster up the motivation to clean my fucking self its a god damn nightmare the    minutes it takes to brush out my matted hair or the first shower i take in a week makes me spiral into so much self hate everytime im in the shower my mind just starts spinning about how disgusting i am ive only left my apartment complex by myself once in the past  months because im disgusted by myself i dont want to subject other people to see me and im fucking trying im trying to not be so mean to myself im trying to take care of my body because it deserves to be healthy and comfortable but its so fucking hard,3.0
20603,cant decide between shaun smith or stavros flatley  the latter is just so funny but shaun has a brilliant  voice   kinda cute too  ,0.0
20604,yay for verizon replacing my phone ,0.0
20605,im done work yah for me beautiful out so im only guna sleep alittle so i can enjoy the sunshine ,0.0
20606,ahora mi novio va a estudiar en las tardes estoy muy sad porque haré lo posible por cambiarme a la mañana so ☹️😔,2.0
20607,huhnot hungry at all ,0.0
20608,thnx mark for the cuddle sesh  feeling good today,0.0
20609,i really just cant believe it ,2.0
20610,aintyourjam yeh sad now gu tong choose between amber and taeyeon and nong cake,2.0
20611,amazing  by msft  twitter project natal forza  lastfm facebook netflix additions  how come they couldnt do anything else ,0.0
20612,lpm otro de sus sers queridos de tae  que decir solo siente lo que tieens que sentir  las etapas de esos tipos de susceos  sad todo ,2.0
20613,toniandrews those scare me a little ,0.0
20614,i really really really need someone right now feel free to delete this post if this kind of thing is not allowed i really really need someone to talk to right now like genuinely talk to if i could pm someone my number that would be greatly appreciated i can only call in the us though   im having a p big panic  anxiety  depression attack right now and my mind is racing and having this awful thoughts about how i dont matter i promise this isnt a scam or anything malicious i can provide verification that i am a real person if that helps thanks so much,3.0
20615,kingivn yesterday but u didnt answer so i figured u dont wanna have one with me im not good enough to have a private session wit u ,2.0
20616, same to you ,0.0
20617,my sister just graduated elementary school  tear tear,2.0
20618,feeling sadtired likes im too mean  i cant do quotnicequot ughhhh,2.0
20619,djurczak i got the cards same seats as last game lets be prepared for a sensational fak victory ,0.0
20620,nyccoacho you just made a bad day worse  a spurs fan grrr,2.0
20621,had a great day yesterday but is paying for it today ,2.0
20622, haha i know well jump him one day and he wont see it coming  read i still have to finish the  i just need time ,2.0
20623,this would explain why i assume everyone dislikes me when i meet new people ,1.0
20624,chicmom say hi to my peeps in the bx ,0.0
20625,happy mothers day a special shoutout to all my fellow momswivescareermakersentrepreneurs ,0.0
20626,traveladdict thank you ,0.0
20627,good morning twitter  more days of exams amp im done  got french tomorrow  wish me luck follow me amp ill follow you thanks and byee,2.0
20628,jonasbrothers give a big shout out to all your irish fans  jonaslive,0.0
20629,webholics same shit here  hosteurope,2.0
20630,my postnatal depression recovery story  postnataldepression pnd mentalhealth ,1.0
20631,rt cynthianixon yes it will include dental vision and hearing plus primary preventive and specialty care hospitalization mental h,0.0
20632, rumphress jamesokeefeiii realdonaldtrump see dems can only name call sad sounds like youre talk ,0.0
20633,pinkfinity indeed i shall ill message you straight away ,0.0
20634,had a dream about djknucklehead and iamjonathancook then i woke up ,2.0
20635,alanamonington im a busy lad this friday ,2.0
20636,maynaseric you are number  on twitter grader httptwittergradercom ,0.0
20637,really like the new  look ,0.0
20638,imaidenchick idk last time i remember filling his water bowl was sat afternoon looks like its not been touched dont know what  do ,2.0
20639,off to a birthday bbq soon but its raining and cold could be a loooooong aftternoon ,0.0
20640, i have  friends going  so jealous ,2.0
20641,resting my left hand due to too much playing jamlegend  but still its fun xd,0.0
20642,well i can relate ive been suffering from depressi — yeah i have manic depression there are a lot of iss ,2.0
20643,been in photoshop  days straight and finally finished a big  project feel so successful  and tired lol got more to do tho ,2.0
20644,i give up im embracing the loner life full time im a teenager in the us airforce and im stuck at a shitty fucking base ive been here seven months and i sont have any friends and no girl here has been interested in me just like back home i tried to kiss one girl i was close to here and she told her supervisor and basically tried to get me booked i dont have the opportunity to work with any one my age its all people in their thirties so i cant really know anyone i try to hit girls up on social media i get left on read or delivered or it takes the girl a fucking day to respond i posted something on the am i ugly reddit and most of the comments i got were  out of  and  and  and if thats true then why does it seem like no girl is ever interested in me why is it that when i try i get rejected or things go wrong for me if i want to talk to my family from back home i have to call them i got into it with my sister because shes mad i dont call her and i said why the fuck do i have to call you im the one overseas it just seems like im in a shittier version of highschool with no way out so im done trying im going to work to the gym then straight to my room i wont try to connect with people anymore,3.0
20645,i swear this novela gives me anxiety 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️😂,2.0
20646,mellissae i like it well not the working but the kfc ,0.0
20647,lame tour ended early ,2.0
20648,johnco lol your grass needs cut ,0.0
20649,breagayle keep it long ,0.0
20650,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
20651,erm yes fighting going to bed even though very tired  are you still doing tomorrow,2.0
20652,i cant fucking sleep and i have class in  hours seriously fuck this im not even that depressed today let me fucking sleep ill probably have to skip one class tomorrow because ill be too tiredshit always gets worse,3.0
20653,me loves danmerriweather  ,0.0
20654,was blessed from revo look forward to an even awesomer one next year ,0.0
20655,honeybeesdrip  have always loved dragons is that silly at  years old ,0.0
20656,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
20657, franz ferdinand quotno you girls never know how you make a boy feelquot  quotkiss me where your eye wont meet mequot  sooo hot,0.0
20658, great i got eyeballed into this� quit have fun at my expense didn�t see that coming ,2.0
20659,divinelycrafty hope everything went ok i hear you on the dentist phobia  i have nightmares just thinking about having a check up ,2.0
20660,is wide awake wonder whats in store for me today countdown to home is now on ,0.0
20661,rt textbookmsg everything i learned about the great depression was from a college textbook,0.0
20662,sabrepulse youve got the  tsk tsk tsk its a shame  haha feel better bro,2.0
20663,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
20664,loving new jb songs  but missing persons unit is sad ,0.0
20665,mattbacak thanks for following and congrats on your award ,0.0
20666,emiliecashh i think i am hilarious ,0.0
20667,i  scuba diving ,0.0
20668,xxamycanflyxx awwwh amy its ok  hes just being a boy i miss you  x,2.0
20669,dae feel like they will never be happy when im asked about my future i always tell the plan that made me really excited and happy when i was still able to feel those emotions but im trying to not think about it at all because if i do i break down the reason for that is because i feel absolutely numb and blank towards things im trying to keep hopes up that one day i will feel good enough watching the sun rise while drinking coffee feeling content and calm with worries so little and so managable yet when i try to imagine tge future i want i feel blank and empty inside i hate it so much and it scares me it scares me because im starting to think that if one day i get the future i want i will feel the same i will look up at the pretty sky with my favourite cup of coffee and will feel helplessly empty and thats gonna be the end of me,3.0
20670,all i do is work work work work work  lol,0.0
20671,juuulianne theres nothing wrong im going to visit my uncle jared  and i didnt know you needed me here yesterday,0.0
20672,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
20673,i think ive just realised that i am depressed and i might have been for a long time my girlfriend is the most incredible woman in the entire world and i love her more than ive ever loved anything in my life but i am lay here in our lodge whilst we are on holiday watching her do some uni work that i insisted on her doing after she tried to have sex with me after i had gone down on her and its all clicked in my head i dont want to waste her time why would she want to do that to me she should be doing more productive things for her while i look after her and this seems to be the theme of my life i feel worthless i am worthless i feel like i am in the way of every person in my life i dont feel welcome i feel like an unwanted guest in my own parents home i feel like i am over compensating with the friends i do have just so they dont see me for who i truly am i avoid looking in the mirror at all time and i havent let anyone take a picture of me for years at risk of seeing what i actually look like to them how have i protected myself from this truth for so long and now that it has hit me i feel so scared i envy my partner i envy my friends for feeling so comfortable in their own skin and their own lives i just want to feel good about myself and what i have achieved but it all just feels like a waste of somebody elses time everything feels heavy and i just want to go home and be alone,3.0
20674,my cars alternator hates me hes always upset ,2.0
20675,why am i even alive this life is simply worthlesssince a young age ive had this mindset that life has no meaning all that were doing our friends and family or loved ones and people all around the globe  its worth nothing it will crumble to dust in a few decades and we will leave nothing behind i wont change anything i wont find the cure for cancer i wont be a world leader i wont be someone that helps people i am simply nothing theres nothing stopping me from just ending it but im too afraid im a cowardi wish however that i will die by a car crash by passing out sleeping maybe falling off of a high buildingi dont think this is depression my life is supposed to be good friends and family a mind that once was curious about the world but i just dont care anymore i just dont want to wake upwhy cant i be someone else someone that can feel alive i truly wish i was dead,3.0
20676,jennftww your ugly ,0.0
20677,rt harianahoe ok whores heres ur chance to be added to kissy suicide™️ be a crackhead dont be problematic unless it funny try and,1.0
20678,if i tweet something nasty i wonder if they will unfollow guys im not a saint ,0.0
20679,somebody take me away from this life i dont want it anymore  so sad,2.0
20680,i became that serious person that forgot how to have fun help i used to be a care free fun loving person i remember when i was younger i used to work with people who took everything too seriously and never seemed to have any fun and now here i am that person everywhere i go i just feel so to the point about it at work i just want to get my job done and go home and not talk to people or it annoys me know when me coworkers just stop working to chat but its super busy so i gotta do the work or it wont get done at school im motivated to get good grades and am worried if i socialize to much ill fail when i hang out with people i just want to leave  has anyone been through this and gotten over it i miss being happy go lucky i miss having fun but im so angry or so tired that even though i know i shouldnt be so serious i cant find a way to break out of it and just have fun again,3.0
20681,textiles is officially over forever gtimes     ,0.0
20682,im off to watch everything ive recorded tonight  night tweetheads  xo,0.0
20683,superwomanak i only watch gossip girl  awesome show ,0.0
20684,mrbigdreams i wish i can see that show the wire  but they dont have it in canadawell i dont think they do ,2.0
20685,sitting at work wishing the night was over i wanted to be with my son for his first birthday ,2.0
20686,ok its  and i dont see my frelling busew i say ew ,2.0
20687,rt lifezette the truth about manic depression from one whos been there ,2.0
20688,rt henereyg this is a sad story of c martin crokers last days this guy is hugely important to animation history arguably theres no a,1.0
20689,cleanyourteeth i dont think theyre up anywhere at the moment but we can always send you them if you wanted ,0.0
20690,its going to storm later better get out and enjoy every second of this gorgeous day ,0.0
20691, its over,2.0
20692,kidbliss thanku hun ,0.0
20693,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
20694,its hard to see a future where im happy im a freshman in college for mechanical engineering i thought thats what ive wanted for so many years of my life and i still do want that but i also dont half of me wants to be an artist my family has been so proud of me for getting an engineering degree i dont want to disappoint them i have also been so sad for so many years i thought it was just a high school thing and that this change to college would help but no matter how hard i try to be happy where i am i am so so sad some days will be fine than others ill be day dreaming in class of myself bleeding out on the floor of my dorm its so hard to focus on these crazy hard engineering classes when i dont fully know if thats what i want with my life i also tell myself to shut up put my head down get this degree and stop complaining i dont know what im going to gain from posting this here i guess i havent told anyone my feelings and its nice to talk about them i think i need antidepressants but my parents dont like medication for mental illnesssorry for rambling,3.0
20695,dilandou hiss xd that looks nice ,0.0
20696,why i think anyone can make something bad to me without doubting it twice i recently broke up with my girlfriend and i never told her but she has a friend they hang out often lets say  time per month recently and i always thought she had something weird with him and thats because i think this she my friends anyone can do anything to me no matter how bad it is they would do it and have no regret about it because i deserve thatshe saw him today and i talked to her about  minutes ago and she said give me some minutes ill text you later she left me in seen  minutes ago and i cant stop thinking she is in his housebut the most important she said me i still like you,3.0
20697,susansweet thx but theyre all still in my closet  i cant seem to be able to get rid of them i guess i have bad taste in shoes,2.0
20698,good morning ,0.0
20699,drkrismohandie that the music i hear in the distancebe beautiful though sad that the man i love be forever loved ,0.0
20700,is really stressin bout exam  and ideas of how not  stress please help ,0.0
20701,at janies eatin the rum cake ,0.0
20702,i dont want to hurt anyone whenever im alone i cut myself i chew off my skin i stab my fingers because i feel like its all i deserve but when im with others i always try to be as nice to them as i can i dont want them to be concerned because of me i try to hide it from them with excuses like i cut myself while chopping vegetables ori tripped and landed on my hands i care about others much much more than myself they deserve to be happy i dont want them to find out its getting harder and harder to hide it i just want to disappear and be forgotten,3.0
20703,kristenamazing lol going for my  show of start trek today i keep sharing it with by friends ,0.0
20704,just woke up from a  hour nap i was shooting for  this is why i rarely nap it never works ,2.0
20705,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
20706,ive been in such a good mood lately but my anxiety is getting unreal and that doesnt make sense to me,0.0
20707,is thinkin about cuttin her hair again sidenote miss being caked up ,2.0
20708,adamkallen its  ,0.0
20709,stay tuned on dna and fake heart etc i keep talking it up but its  a week off robobat is done but not being released untl july ,2.0
20710,misses the states ,2.0
20711,my depression and what i think  im currently dealing with depression and everyday is a battle i had two previous mild and moderate depressive episodes and none compare to this one it comes to me at night time when im at my loneliest point during the day and it goes away in the morning to be honest i dont want to be medicated as i just want to be my happy self talking to people does help but sometimes because its night i dont really have anyone to talk to except myself and well my depressed self starts ranting again and again about suicide how do i cope and others that have been in my shoes and are better now what can you tell to someone like me who is going through it right no,3.0
20712,learning for test tomorrow ,2.0
20713,cyt is half way there and fuck me im so excited ,0.0
20714,i need help today i was feeling so shit i cut myself i havent done it in a long time but the person i love dumped me on sunday and i just wanted some relief the worst part is im not angry at them i just hate myself even tho they made it very clear its not because of me they just need to be alone the hole its not you its me cut me like a knife and now im so upset ive been thinking about taking too many sleeping tablets swerving my car into the nearest tree im usually a really happy loving person but when i go down i go so far down i dont know how to get out im scared,3.0
20715,idk anymoe all i do is work and just lay in bed im so sick of everything im so alone,3.0
20716,cowgrrrl   you have the sweetest children  you are obviously a great mom i loved reading your blog w their msgs to you  kudos,0.0
20717,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
20718,i forgot my donut on national donut day ,2.0
20719,no sleep my whole body just hurts ,2.0
20720,im craving chocolate milk off to the store i go tyl ,0.0
20721,the only reason im not dead yet is because im scared of hurting people existence is painful  of the time if not more honestly tasting happiness hurts more after it gone im constantly loosing the will to live nothing makes me happy anymore,3.0
20722,foxtel i couldnt live with out you ,0.0
20723,beach todaaay ,0.0
20724,hammerette very similar to babybel on toast ,0.0
20725,rt flylikeair depression is some real shit i pray for anybody going thru it im right with yall,0.0
20726,feeling burnt out i am really struggling i am feeling very very burnt out i am not motivated to do almost anything workrelated i love writing speaking presenting and talking with people about philosophical ideas but simple tasks like answering emails filling out spreadsheets printing things etc have become almost unbearable does anyone have any advice ,3.0
20727,this could turn out to be an expensive day i need a sugardaddy ,2.0
20728,sheow thought you were going to sleep yourself  night,0.0
20729,radicoon maybe just maybe when i finish my ccna this summer and degree in the fall maybe but still doubtful  jobs until then ,2.0
20730,jqbx for people wanting to connect to others through music quite goodhttpsappjqbxfmroomsdoing one rn   httpsappjqbxfmroomdowner,3.0
20731,rt faguettte your wcw blames their depression on planets being in retrograde to cover up how much of a mess they are its me im your wcw,2.0
20732,aydsman sif get a ricer and not a huge blowoff valve  you make your presence felt when you come around the block shifting gears ,0.0
20733,a simple trick to get rid of stress and anxiety in  minutes  ,2.0
20734,michaelmcfadden i love those shows too  i watched the fattest sonmomdad the other day the mom died ,2.0
20735,just stuck my depression has gotten worse and worse over the past few weeks im making my poly group upset because they feel like theyve done something wrong because i cant explain whats wrong with me ive lost all my sex drive and even just my will to speak or move i want help so badly but i cant afford insurance so i cant see a doctor of any kind i feel just stuck ,3.0
20736,djilo quotdiggin deep into my blip crate for this one  old skool hip hop sound enjoy quot ♫ ,0.0
20737,andrewpycroft hmmm the hoover must come out ,2.0
20738,rt minibn cest quand même sad que le pique de libido sois durant les règles,2.0
20739,dfl nothing stress me out more lol than getting a new color on my nails or a hair style and hearing my bf say ion ,2.0
20740,playing board games ,0.0
20741,i only came in my house so i could use the wifi depression is winning tonight ladies,1.0
20742,power is out crappy ,2.0
20743,chiefmurillo thank you for following me i really apprecaite it looking forward to your tweets ,0.0
20744,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
20745,albany pretty much fed up my life from the startugh cant i go back in time and just start at bing and plan everything out ,2.0
20746, bf is a real hero he survives everything ,0.0
20747, noo  carrie and tom waved at me though and i think i saw all the parents but didnt meet them cos i was standig they sat,2.0
20748,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
20749,mrgeoff more cups of coffee than there are coffee beans if i hazard a guess ,2.0
20750,okay okayit never happened ,2.0
20751, tweet  its okay at least  tweet is about how much ill hate last day of fb,2.0
20752, mmmm yes please xd  actually once i forgot i was cooking rice and it turned into melted black goop  oh dears,2.0
20753,migraines suck   owee ,2.0
20754,touchdalight what a completely idiotic thing to do regardless if its real or fakepeople will do anything for a ,0.0
20755,im giving up i only ever come and post to reddit when i dont know what to do where to go how to help myself ive tried a few different communities to ask for help and ive gotten one reply that did help me a little i know people have their own problems and probably dont care about me because being honest nobody does i hate coming here and posting how i feel because i feel ashamed but i just cant anymore i cant cry i havent cried for years i have nobody to vent to and i dont know what to do im overwhelmed and when i feel like killing myself i just think about the pain and disgrace i would bring to my family if i did so i dont do it i wish i could but i cant so instead i lay down somewhere and either listen to music or just listen to my thoughts until im forced to get up and do something then i put on a happy face and pretend like im fine i dont know what to do please help,3.0
20756,i love my haters so much i even hug em  i literally hug my haters dont play with fire puta,0.0
20757, i need to let things go easierly     ive been waitin for an email for a week now still havent gotton it i guess i wont ,2.0
20758,shots suuuuck  im done  no more vacines,2.0
20759,wooh stream is up go redsox ,0.0
20760, idleeric how shall we fuck off oh lord,0.0
20761,im singing a duet with t i dont want to study for my math test ,2.0
20762,finally celebrating  june aitailiyon food ,0.0
20763,i dont even know i feel done with lifei feel that i have completed my life like there is no more reason to play this stupid gameto keep goingyet i still gohonestly i have no real reasons for feeling the way i feelfor the most part my life is great i have supportive parents friends and a good future lined up for meyet i still hate getting up every dayi dont want to be herebut i know i will wake up tomorrowand that idea fills me with dread,3.0
20764,this rain is seriously making sleepyafter two cups of coffee im still tired ,2.0
20765,slept in for the first time ini dont even really remember how long lol i love my hubby  lets me sleep and takes care of the kids,0.0
20766,omg so much relief finished my math and geography exams they were so difficult  hope i did alright,2.0
20767,everyone should follow devyndances ,0.0
20768,sorry i just have to vent a bit responses are welcome if not thats alright too my girlfriend and i of one year just had a break up i know one year isnt a lot but as a  year old it seems like quite a bit worst thing is that it was mutual so even though there was no animosity it was the rational choice of action but it just makes it so hard to get over i got in an accident today totaled the front of the car no drugs involved just hit a patch of black ice and spun out my college gpa is a  which im somewhat proud of but i am trying to transfer to the university of michigan so it still has a high chance of not being enough i dont have any friends i literally have nonemy parents and i have a miserable relationship i was told to find an internship in a different state this summer im not welcome home this summer i have literally no one who i am close to except my grandparents who live far away and are unable to relate to my day to day experiences i have a few hobbies but they all seem finite and kinda pointless i like chess video games learning languages anime bonsai etc but they all seem very pointless in the grand scheme of things but i guess maybe i think that about everything i dont think im suicidal but i dread my existence if that makes sense i just wish that i never had to experience anxiety stress and all the baggage that existence brings,3.0
20769,jen shen refuses to be in my twitpic ,2.0
20770,just cleaned my ear bare loads cause it was hurting  x,2.0
20771,good things happening in fresno today  ,0.0
20772,kaleighymusic will they be alleviated when i tell you that i love the song and adore the lyrics ,0.0
20773,morningsidemom no problemo i felt bad about your friends little girl  so sad,2.0
20774,i fucking miss my bestfriend havent seen her in over a year ,2.0
20775,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
20776,alovesoundtrack   ,2.0
20777,how frustrating cant seem to upload a piccy ill try again later ,2.0
20778,deathbyvolcano it destroys my feet ,2.0
20779,julielockwood he said he doesnt feel good and thinks he might need to go to the dr ,2.0
20780,my mom just cried because of me i need help,3.0
20781,am i even depressed sure my room is usually stacks and stacks of garbage and sometimes i want to kill myself but am i really depressed maybe im just another attention seeking idiot wasting everyone elses valuable time and trivializing a serious condition and i know thats exactly what someone that isnt in their right mind would think but i cant help it anyways what do i even have to feel bad about i have more or less supportive friends and family and are doing ok at life and its not like i dont ever feel happy its just that usually life is pointless and boring and why would i want to spend many more decades like that,3.0
20782,as i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord our souls he keeps and that lebron comes to the ny knicks  let�s go knick fans wake up,0.0
20783, sure  but shes no here yet im still waiting for her ,0.0
20784,another hot amp humid evening ,2.0
20785,amandachanguris thanks  but too late i just changed my profile pic from a cat to a human well two humans ,2.0
20786,everyones lives are better im tired of my shitty life i hate my country and so called friends and even myself everyone elses lives are so exciting i just lost the motivation in doing anything i have dreams and goals but i just cant anymore i just dont see the point anymore im tired while they get to experience what being a real teen is like im stuck here i always thought that im missing out on the big things and it sucks that i wont get to live that life they have that i want i dont see the point anymore,3.0
20787,ruthlessromance well how was i suppose to know that you guys would be hanging out  ok thats cool i guess,2.0
20788,to those of you who are single does valentine day ever make you depressed about your lack of a love life i just barely turned  and not once have i ever had a girlfriend never kiss a girl had sex hold hands or even been on one date valentine reminds me of my bitter loneliness and how i never experienced love im  now ffs and i never even had any relationships that most other people would have well before my age,3.0
20789,stacie the bartender is back noooooo  i hate herrr,2.0
20790,im upset i lost my memory card tht had all the jb pics and my sisters grad pics too its like i didnt even go to the concert ,2.0
20791,kirstywilson thank you  it is a bit beatrix potter up the hill  we often see all kinds of wildlife apart from the badgers  ,0.0
20792,happy mothers day to all the wonderful mothers in the world myself included ,0.0
20793,ive given up is that depression hello   ive given up on life   my apartment is dirty my face is acne ridden and scraggly  and my hair hasnt been cut in months my clothes havent been washed  and my fridge is empty what dishes there are remain unwashed i have no room mates i live alone most of my waking hours that dont invoke homework or vacuuming are spent in bed with extended self loathing sessions the number of acquaintances i have is dwindlingi dont sleep at regular times or eat at regular intervals recently ive been trying to watch my weight it seems like the only thing i care about is the number the scale gives me when i step on it   last time i checked  i dont do my homework regularly or even attend class im trying to look for a job  my goal is  applications every day no luck so far im not gonna lie ive considered suicide a viable option not in a while  but i have the things i do to myself make me unlovable how could i properly love when i cant live i just had a small get together with some old friends it was fun  but i still feel worthless  before during and after im staying to find myself wanting to avoid social interactions avoiding people and society shutting them off and then getting mad at them when i dont have anyone close my feelings are bleak  happiness is fleeting i have learned to dread being happy being happy is when i know that im about to tip into a deep depression  it sends like im only here by a thread  and if somebody were to cut that thread id be a vegetable in bed  thinking how i can hate myself more ive tried to discuss it with my best buddy but he didnt put any effort into it he heard me  he didnt listen i hope to get help im planning on reaching out to the first time to a counselor on monday im not sure what to expect  i hope my wallet can take the beating go us healthcarehah look at this debby downer he didnt come to derision to post a success story  hes the other ,3.0
20794,paigedansingerstudiolorainemisshq ladiesmiss you lets hang out soon via jackiebatemanme too too much crying to leave my house ,2.0
20795,rt wesamkeesh i need your help  ,1.0
20796,gaelenk lucky you my full night sleep was turned into a nap  still feeling slightly drowsy but thankfully half the day is over already,2.0
20797,im bad at titles i think i have depression i feel worthless all the time i cant sleep i cant eat i cant even talk to people without stuttering i cant concentrate its so hard to wake up now nothing is fun anymore im sorry this is just a run on sentence but im thinking about telling my parents about this what should i say,3.0
20798,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
20799,kiwikikireestl nooo you were on my yahoo account hmm i wanna say  days idk fosho ,0.0
20800,kind of a lazy sunday but yall know i cant go sittin round doin totally nothing right coffee first ,0.0
20801,chronically booooooooooooored ive been treated for anxiety with amazing success but now i find myself chronically bored which basically means a portion of my depression has returned i tried upping my dose of lexapro but it just made me an uncaring asshole has anyone had any luck with treating unrelenting boredom with meds,3.0
20802,i nearly got shot the other night and i felt nothing but mild inconvenience so my neighbor across the hall was cleaning his new gun loaded for some reason and it went off the bullet traveled through their wall through the hallway and embedded itself in my wall roughly three feet behind where i was sittingand you know what i didnt care it didnt scare me i wasnt angry it was just a thing that happenedwork has been immensely stressful lately i have no social life outside of going to the bar occasionally i dont really do any of my old hobbies i spend all of my time on my phone or computeri nearly got shot and i dont care,3.0
20803,living the worst time of my life i have never felt so sad or despaired in my life everything gone wrong ,2.0
20804,is goin for the ultimate entertainer fingers crossed ,0.0
20805,has met some fantastic people at the early support group for parents with children on the autistic spectrum sad it has now finished ,2.0
20806,now ill have to have two sets of practice one for the full band amp one for partial     ,2.0
20807,realblackwidow now you get it    im  irish also on that day  im mexican on cinco de mayo etc,0.0
20808,epic night of swimming rain sucks today hopefully tomorrow is sunny bcz i know its gunna be hot out not looking forward to burning ,2.0
20809,just found out that my close friends had a nye party and didnt invite me i was getting better up until nowwhy the fuck wasnt i invited,3.0
20810,mventre based on just a survey of twitter discussion points im inclined to agree ,0.0
20811,girls night with jack ,0.0
20812,dfizzy i feel really sorry for you ,2.0
20813,going out now   x,0.0
20814,louiejizz jakarta is not cool  its so hott in here  lols whatcha doin ,2.0
20815,woke up gone shopping with my mom and twittering ,0.0
20816,i had to get a shot today  it hurt amp i didnt even get a lollipop ,2.0
20817,i just entered some drawings for  magazine i hope i win ,0.0
20818,sad that i missed my sister getting sworn into the bar ,2.0
20819,a long day making a video for my boss no time to tweet until the wee hours  see u tomorrow tweets,2.0
20820,every thought is so loud everything in my head is so loud i dont think i can do this anymore of course ill still keep going i have to but i dont want to i feel like people hate me of course they dont i have a loving partner that loves me despite all of my faults and i love them too so much yet i feel like im pushing them away and that theyre slowly starting to fall out of love with methe current situation is making everything harder i miss my friends i miss my partner i miss my family i live in a foster homei know my family friends and partner all love me yet my brain keeps telling me that they dont it keeps telling me that ill never see them again that thisll last forever im so scared im not scared of getting corona im scared that this situation will isolate me from my friends and family and itll never be the sameright now i feel like the whole world is crashing down on me i feel like this will never end i know it will but i still feel like it wont,3.0
20821,i feel lost and alone all my life i was made happy easily and always was excited i would bounce off the walls when my mom wanted to go to the store with me so it was the simple things that did it flash ahead to sophomore year of highschool and i hit a low point of depression and was put in a hospital due to the mental abuse of an old friend group nearly putting my life on the line im a huge violinist and loved to play it was an exciting hobby that i could express myself through an outlet along with video games shortly after my experience at the hospital i started to better myself i started to get back to my old ways of easily entertained and happy from whateverhere we are in  high school grad freshman in college with good grades loving family and somewhat decent friends i met a girl we dated for awhile and things were great i was the same happy person then in november i started to feel the sick empty feeling of loneliness my girlfriend and i broke up due to me being too clingy and affectionate because i wanted to not feel the way i did my family had a huge falling out at thanksgiving that i was apart of i felt even worse because i lost touch with all family other than immediate my friends noticed i wasnt the sameand tried to help but it didnt work i still feel lonely and nothing makes me smile anymore i cry myself to sleep every night and have been for a montham i the only one who feels lost and lonely or is there something wrong with me,3.0
20822,rt sabrinalo jsftennis beckysterne pahstock   kayfkm qedigiv  thebigotbasher tayloche ,2.0
20823,thanks talklittle and allipr you should both join me bdotdub you should come too hehe ,0.0
20824,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
20825,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
20826,jamaican airlines have a great flight ,0.0
20827,danacea ill bet you always come across as having endless reserves of energy though ,0.0
20828,i cant sleep im debating on pulling an all nighter or willing myself to sleep i know if i pull an all nighter i might be able to get through the day with the help of some energy drinks i know if i try to sleep and end up sleeping i will probably miss all of my alarms and my morning classes with it its  and i need to get up at  ,3.0
20829,yayyyjust made an appoinment with new english school for tomorrow afternoon crossing our finger for arwen ,0.0
20830,migin awww  you are truly loved highly favored and richly blessed,0.0
20831,im freaking out a little i dont like to be pushed im not ready ,2.0
20832,i went around for  hours today smelling like melted chocolate it was very amusing seeing people trying to guess my perfume today ,0.0
20833,tdhurst just remember to try amp be yourself ,0.0
20834,is on her way home ,0.0
20835,stlmoms who won the father look alike contest i cant find it ,2.0
20836,out all day until about  or  ,2.0
20837,matthewneer lol ok well im glad the lightening rod thing didnt pan out ,0.0
20838,santasmbslt very pretty flowers  and i liked his  in  lol,0.0
20839, i dont want to be fat anymore but i cant quit eating what id give to be anorexic for real man,2.0
20840,what do you want from a friend hi guys curious about what would make you feel better or thankful for your friend when heshe says this to you or does this to you and they know about how tiring feeling depressed can be,3.0
20841,misses jlholloway  ,2.0
20842,i have no idea whats going no right now ,2.0
20843,new phone  amazing but the mac girl deleted everything on my old phone before transfering ,2.0
20844,ntanzabel cheers as soon as get more photos i will send a link  ,0.0
20845,evanw thanks  current status waiting for movers supposed to come by ,0.0
20846,i slept in until  this morning i think my body needed it after the early mornings and  beatings ,0.0
20847,struggling with side effects thanks for taking the time to read this ive been on so many different meds in such a short period of time i feel like my body is in shockbrief history to start ive been on celexa for a couple years which just wasnt doing the trick anymore dr added rexulti and i had so much fatigue i just wept slept for  hours one day so we stopped that she added klonopin i didnt really wanna be on a benzo so we stopped that after a week and added vraylarat this point im just feeling so miserable i talked to my dr about going inpatient which i did for  days and they put me on so much depakote and then reduced my celexa now im out and theyve added buspar for anxietymy depakote levels have been high so im dropping the dosage as per dr orders but i feel so fatigued and restless at the same time its like i want to find something to occupy my time with but i cant focus on anything i just want to sleep but that just makes my back pain worse fibromyalgiaif anyone has struggled with something similar please reach out im at my wits end with these meds,3.0
20848,im sick  so i am going to go lay down and maybe sleep wish me to get better loves ,2.0
20849,dear tweetdeck  is great n all but i really miss minimize to tray it never gave me any problems why cant i have it back ,2.0
20850,  in case you didnt underget todays ps tip of the day heres a picture ,0.0
20851,itsclicheiknow voou ,0.0
20852,melaniekaye did you guys have fat kid olympics im so proud  lol,0.0
20853,jonasbrothes lets make lines vines and trying times a trending topic d lvat  come on people ,0.0
20854,rt mehdirhasan isnt it weird how we muslims seem somehow immune to mental health issues  my latest column on terror threats ,2.0
20855, ahhhh so you admit to the twitter addiction thats a good start my traveling cousin ,0.0
20856,some dumb girl brought her kid here she put sound proof ear muffs on him but still its really loud and theres alot of bass ,2.0
20857,i dont know whats wrong with me i constantly feel stressed out these days i would wake up late avoid conversation with my family and friends sometimes i would wake up in the middle of a night pondering about my own existence what if nobody actually cares about me the way i care about them why does everyone at school have to be so competitive is humanity a thing now or is it just on the internet i no longer feel the need to put food in my mouth sometimes i would have only  small meals a day i no longer have the need to improve my health i have a stiff neck from sitting down too much or even go to class anymore my mother passed away more than a year ago and my father favors my elder brother over me everyday i get home i would have to do the housechores for him and we never talk to each other hes kinda selfish and always try to put me down spreading negativity whenever we talk my father is always mad at me for joining clubs at school as if he is forcing me to stay at home all day or something the only reason i spend so much time outside is because i dont want to spend too much time with my family dont get me wrong they mean well but theyre just flustered with so much negativity and anger at pity things my friends only care about schoolwork always competitive always talk about tech im a cs student too much homework and tasks so stressed out in my free time i would use social media and youtube watching bullshit videos i dont even know what to do with my own life anymore i dont want to die maybe justnot exist anymore no one is gonna read this anyway but thank you if you spend the time to do so,3.0
20858,playing with the new phones at work new toys are fun but i have a feeling that will wear off quickly ,0.0
20859, ankurb ok thanks ,0.0
20860,the new patrick wolf album is incredible ,0.0
20861,church was good this morning glad i went headed to lunch now then home to do chores ,0.0
20862,ow ow ow  my stupid nose bleed from the other day has made my head all congested my head hurts so much ,2.0
20863,just bought charlieissocoollike on buytter p hopefully someone will buy him back because he was expensive ,0.0
20864,on a boat on the way out to norr�ra gonna chill for a while party tonight ,0.0
20865,out in the garden in the sun from  true to type im now slightly red in places ,0.0
20866,sleepy and dreading the traffic which starts to build up in front of her office ,2.0
20867,ryanbugayong aww thanks for coming hope you got my text  have a safe trip home,0.0
20868,not eating properly i have no idea what subreddit to ask this but it could be a side effect of my depression so here i go lately ive been forcing myself to eat less than i usually do but when i eat a normal amount of food i feel gross after eating it not food poisoning or anything i just feel gross eating anything i get hungry but whatever i eat makes me feel gross the only thing i can eat that doesnt do this is  min cup noodles or ice cream anything else makes me feel like i just wanna throw it in the bin,3.0
20869,its  am perfect time for my anxiety to kick in why the hell not,2.0
20870,my headache is killing me at night im kind a green here but wanted to give it a shot and write a few thing making me awake at night gt nothing will lastgt nothing matters out theregt playing the tough is frustratinggt why am i even tryinggt would i give up already  if it was not for my familygt no one is there for me to listengt family is overrated gt hope is something causing nothing but paingt i will never be good at somethinggt luck is everything and is a btchgt love is nothing but uncovered disappointmentgt there is neither good nor bad but pragmatism gt will there be someone caring megt there is no happiness but hopegt at the end these are nothing but me btchinggt pain is the only thing people will get through their livesgt after all i am still waiting for someone to prove me that i am wrongfeel free to lync me for any grammar mistake,3.0
20871,miltmafia  on fathers day we wish for dilt to sound as cool as milt but we know that will never happen ,2.0
20872,oh no one of my balloons flew away already  im sorry ,2.0
20873,i wish i was asleep forever early this morning i dreamt that my girl wants to start all over with me we texted back and fort and i was happy then i woke up sad as always and i looked at my phone there was a story from her she was with a guy her new boyfriend i decided to text her and she told me that it is over with us and that she wishes me all the best sadness came over and all i want is to go back to sleep and sleep forever because in my dreams i actually feel alive,3.0
20874,anyone else hoping that adam lambert wins idol go adam ,0.0
20875,my flip flop just brokewalking in downtown seattle ,2.0
20876,missricki  yes im fine thanx for checking on me ma,0.0
20877, i was thnking of doing that but my friend said not to let him down haha so i dont know ,2.0
20878,how do you guys deal with emptinesslack of joy ive tried going for walks listening to music doing hobbies i usually enjoy going out with friends but none of it makes me happy anymore the only things that make me feel temporarily satisfied are self harming and eating what do you guys do,3.0
20879,what a freaking night ,0.0
20880,lots of things to doespecially candle binging ,0.0
20881,youhou ya counterstrike qui me suit  headshot ,0.0
20882,enjoyed country style mince with mash for dinner amp is now drowning it in  nussdorfer herrenberg produced amp bottled in germany ,0.0
20883,im off the agape grad night wish  and  were going ,2.0
20884,ive got a new phone ,0.0
20885,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,1.0
20886,rt  awww 😭👌❤🐶🐾 ,1.0
20887,rt roinnslainte the nfmhs project has been a priority for me as minister and im delighted to see it progress this far  ,0.0
20888,back at school  but on the bright side its  podcast night tonight,2.0
20889,espadieros indeed that was a damn fine wine ,0.0
20890,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
20891,morning sucks everything is closed and places that are open are making me eat grits ,2.0
20892,tried building  installing pwauth because wanted to try websvn but using modauthnzexternal because svnssh piles of lame projects ,2.0
20893,thanks everyone for all the encouragement   ,0.0
20894,slvaaron dan still has spots but isnt contagious any more im using the computer to tweet ill have to get joe to fix my phone ,2.0
20895,i feel like a fool to be honest ,2.0
20896,another great things are happened today hope it doesnt gone soon ,0.0
20897,gooood morning ,0.0
20898,great fight  well done to faber for not quitting  but mike brown clearly won that fight ,0.0
20899,braisoncyrusx hey tex amp brais  im sending you a shoutout from west tn peace love amp noodles ,0.0
20900,downloading  euro pop ,0.0
20901,have some philosophy mood ,0.0
20902,petmd was orangutan island but animalplanet didnt renew for a season    im sure redapes would agree,2.0
20903,feels like things are only getting better ,0.0
20904,mariselry darrrnn  im sowiee well well im bored to shiz right now,2.0
20905,patrickavis joy of wearing tshirts with sponsor logos amp  classicquot etc on the front is that i never have to go to the dry cleaners ,0.0
20906,dont know if i can go to bribris party   exhaustedneed to cleanmud tracks and grass everywhere from last night thehopeisours,2.0
20907,im always tired  i went to bed right after conan and still snoozed way too long,2.0
20908, tell her i said hi thats my friend  tell her mirza said hi ,0.0
20909,quingyar   i miss doing yoga ,2.0
20910,yeah im extremely hungry over here  someone bring me some food to lib  pleaseee,2.0
20911,heading to the train station in  mins to go to london  so excited and already contemplating cosplays for the next expo d,0.0
20912,woojinparx pairkjhooin humm gak gila kok lagi stress aja ,2.0
20913,no one actually cares they just pretend that they care,3.0
20914,depressed and lost my life has been going to shit for a while but lately it feels overwhelming i have a thyroid problem but no insurance because i cant afford it i lost my so of almost  years and had to move back in with my parents i cant find a job with any stability much less benefits im in a mountain of debt that i cant get out of i cant talk about it because my best friend says go get help but where how with what money i cant talk about it with my mother because her solution is to tell me god doesnt give us more than we can handle i cant handle it anymore today i even asked to speak to her i figured i could just tell her to not say anything while i spewed my feelings and she said my father was around so she wasnt sure she could talk if i was a aunt she could if it was church related she could but me oh no not me ,3.0
20915,what do i do about my depression i dont know what to make of my feelings anymore lately ive been feeling so depressed and so numb that i dont feel like im in my body anymore i go through phases where im really depressed or where im depressed but its not as bad and i can still go through life usually when im really depressed it only lasts a few weeks or maybe a couple months and then i start feeling like me again but its been so long this time ive been really depressed for probably close to a year now i dropped  pounds within just a couple months and i was only  to begin with ive broken promises by cutting or harming myself and i cant even count how many times ive thought about just ending it but the last few weeks i dont even really feel depressed anymore i feel numb it usually doesnt take me much to cry but ive been a stone its hard for me to be sad i dont feel anything and i dont even know if talking to anybody would help i have a boyfriend and we live together he knows that im depressed but i dont think he knows the extent i usually try to keep my mood somewhat happy around him to avoid him getting depressed too it seems like hes the only thing that can help my mood i get anxious when hes not around and that adds to a lot of my anxiety but i dont know how to change how i am i honestly dont know why im typing all of this but maybe someone will have some advice because i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
20916,for more aseum  updates check our blog at  ,0.0
20917,donniewahlberg cant wait for the next step im excited ,0.0
20918,i am partly a developer although i specialize in html and some c not an iphone app developer although i have tried ,0.0
20919,¿is there really a reason to live i hate everything about me i think nobody loves me my life its being sad all the time with little molents of joy i think my best friend hate me and i dont want to do anything anymore ¿its really worth it to still be alive,3.0
20920,guigirl datavonteese no worries  its not like i have an asscomplex or anything but i wouldnt mind something roundish back there ,0.0
20921,do you hate it when you struggle between ending it and making everyone sad running my own startup has really drained mentally and financially on the surface i am the tough and unwavering boss of the company behind closed doors i am just a hair away from squeezing my way through the ridiculously small window i havethe thoughts of committing suicide are getting stronger daily but at the same time i feel the need to stay because of certain people who i know are suffering depression too and my leaving might trigger theirsit is the vicious choice of myself or others,3.0
20922,too much eat blergh ,2.0
20923,my goodnight one   ♫ ,0.0
20924,am i an imposter for a while now ive been battling with the idea of if i have depression or not i certainly havent been medically diagnosed but a lot of people havent i opened up to a few friends a few months ago about how i was feeling and how im not happy but i feel like i should be overall my life is pretty good so therefore i should be happy but i am definitely not not that i am sad either my friends advised me to see a therapist so i didso far i have gone to  meetings  one next week with a therapist at my college and he didnt have much to say he advised me to try and keep in more contact with my friends which i have been trying to do recently he said he wasnt sure what i was looking to get out of his therapy sessions and im not really sure myselfi guess my question is am i depressed am i seeking help when i shouldnt be i feel like an imposter when i speak my feelings,3.0
20925,surrounded by people but i still feel alone i dont know what else to say except thatthe feeling sucks more than anything and no matter what people i talk to or what i create i never feel happy no matter how much time passes im never happy im never going to be happy,3.0
20926,great way to start my day ,0.0
20927,understandblue omg i wish i cant go this yr unless i rob a bank  baaawaaaaa    im soooo sad about this im living thru ur tweets,2.0
20928,change of plans zero energy to leave the house soup for franky and i left over subway for ry ,0.0
20929,i just learned about the news about vs grandad i hope he gets time to mourn i feel so sad i really hope he gets ,0.0
20930,ok man utd just lost the fa cup semis ,2.0
20931,pumbaingeniero jajaja qué sad,2.0
20932,is there anything out there i feel alone even in a crowded room i dont know why but i just feel like no one can relate to me on a personal level and cant really open up to friends it feels like they just wouldnt care as with many of my hobbies and interests in the past like when i talk it feels like it goes right someone ear and right out the other i do find solace in many fictionsan escape from reality ig i also find myself yearning for more even though i feel like i have it all and then feel shameful for feeling this way i deep down just want to know whats out there beyond well this for a lack of a better term idk sounds dumb when i read it but everything feels pointlessim not religions i know many people find answers in their religion but from my experiences i just cant accept a god is real,3.0
20933,ashex yes i am at work with some extra free time no waves of it tickets at the moment ,0.0
20934,out walking missing my baby ,2.0
20935,happy i got hooked up with a cup of jittery joes thx jim and sherry ,0.0
20936,sam has gone now  had a brilliant week though what with seeing alan carr show anf family fortunes volunteering at race for life,2.0
20937,awoke this morning at  am to the sound of our dog throwing up    been awake ever since  she seems to be better now ,2.0
20938,sore throat ,2.0
20939,rt heartlessjeheni kinda sad kinda dont care anymore,1.0
20940,nellesworld maury jerry steve then school lol ,0.0
20941,my enter shikari cd still hasnt arrived and im catching the train in  days no shikari music on the train for me ,2.0
20942,am i depressed or is this just my personality  i think i was  when i started feeling this way i was about to take a national exam and i remember thinking or rather wishing for something bad to happen to me so that i could skip it i got through that and went to secondary school where i remember feeling down all the time and wishing i could be elsewhere thinking maybe it was the environment i was in that made me so sad i dont even know how to describe what i was feeling still am feeling so often these days i thought that maybe by studying abroad i would become a newer and better version of myself and be able to make friends and be happy instead ive been trying to kill time living day after day in the same fashion  waking up at a late hour eating something thats probably more sustenance than nutrition watching tv being on my phonelaptop for more than half my day eat again then sleep i find that im trying to replace reality with anything else but it im distracting myself everyday bingewatching playing useless games on my phone checking my social media even though i know therell be no new updates  not that i am expecting any despite not having many i do have friends that i go out with sometimes for food etc i feel like i should be enjoying my time like any normal person should but i just feel so bored all the time i dont have a clear goal in life and im just drifting and bored  other times im alone and out in the world watching people interacting with one another so effortlessly and having friends surrounding them while they do their schoolwork and im just sitting alone and feeling inadequatei hate feeling this way like im complaining about everything i know that i am more privileged than half the world population living in slums and i should be grateful for what i have sometimes i wish i could give them my life because obviously they deserve it more than me and would also learn how to appreciate it i hate my life i want to change it but sometimes i think ill fail to improve it no matter what and so i just stop trying im so tired and i dont even know why its not like i spend my days being productive im literally the most lazy and useless person i know i just want to stop existing because i have nothing better to do with my life anywaytldr is this just teen angst,3.0
20943,i really dont know how do i function in this state for so long dont know where to start  i just woke up few hours ago  i felt alright  but after conversation with friend of mine i feel lost we spoke about life in general and how time just shifted away its been  years since im on law uni  part of me would just run away from that right now but rational part of me knows that im on last year with few more exams to get my degreei was a great kid  i had so many talents before puberty  i had a really hard childhood after i turned    yrs my dad was alcoholic  so the marriage could not work like that they had huge fights and it all ended when my mom asked for divorce divorce itself didnt scar me too much  i kinda didnt like dad at that point after theyre divorce i kinda understood he wants to change for me  and well we established a good relationship overtime unfortunately for me and my mom  her mental health declined alot she had her first bi polar outbreaks when i was  y old  and these are some horror stuff i went thru she was really bad  and we were locked inside house for days  then police kicked in to handcuff her and take her to mental hospital she didnt hurt me she never had any bad intentions about me  she told me shes protecting me from some demons or stuff she was seeing her state was really really bad over those  years i tried everything  i was cooking  cleaning  doing my homeworks i was searching for her when she went missing  i was putting her to sleep i dont know i did everything including almsot every day visits in mental hospitals she was hospitalized several times for her bi polar disorder when i think about it  im not sad because i went thru that during my childhood im glad because i grew up so fast and learned so many things about myself and life it helped me to become the man i am today the sad thing is that im not happy about myselfwhen i turned   my mom finally got better  after years of mental issues  she finally started to take her therapy and she got back to job and did a great recovery but then my problems started  i had my first panic attacks  i was diagnosed with severe anxiety  mild ocd and depression i have tons of friends  people enjoy being around me i had alot of relationships i dont have problems finding girls but there was always a huge void inside of me it would consume all happiness i could find and nothing could ever replace it im not happy with university i started i never ever wanted to be a lawyer i dont know how i ended up doing thatmy existential worries are killing me i want to work alone  i cant work as a lawyer in some companies or so i have troubles with handling authorities ever since i was kid i could never pursue my dreams  i am photographer  i play guitar  i was great at painting i wanted to study web desing but i was forced to study law due to bad economical situation in my country i have desire to work around my fruit farm  its quiet big but i dont know is it big enough to afford me a stable life and income that troubles me the most  i would love to work around fruit its just i dont know i like it i could even make some small company for import and export of fruits the thing is in my country parents  and all members of family always want to steer down people where they think its best for them and i accepted to study law because they suggested me because it was kinda rational in that situation but they have some bias opinion about jobs and life in general i dont fit in theyre tradiotional view of life  they dont understand how can a lawyer have full body tattoos like i do  they dont understand how i dont have desire to finish my university to be a layer like its some sort of title  due all of those conservative opinions i am losing friends  i am losing interest in life  i am daydreaming about suicide because i dont fit in here  i am a nice guy i always did my best to help everyone from stray animals to homeless people to my friends but no one ever stood there for me and told me there you go u are okay  work on something you like you dont have to be oppressed by opinions of people who have elementary schools at top of theyre knowledge  i am really lost ,3.0
20944,its gonna be another cold rainy sad day ,2.0
20945, bitch dont hate its not meant to b a glamour shot newayfatso ,0.0
20946, how about i loved that life beforei loooove that show  im so sad it cancelled ,2.0
20947,well you have a great deal of work to do   buy them all ,0.0
20948,you cant be sad when youre standing in a field of sunflowers enjoy the simple things life gives you🌻 ,0.0
20949,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
20950,i have no clue what i did through janapril of  why does depression do this i felt like it was a long blur to me ,3.0
20951,rachybabes she doesnt have any money and so    nawhh she never gets me anything haha,0.0
20952,rt cannafactsbynmj study finds no causal relationship between cannabis and depression httpstconuahzcfgcv marijuanascience httpst,2.0
20953,i dont know what to put on a title i deeply want to have friends who know what is depression i want to help them i am one of people who just want deeep connections to other depressed people to cosmos to nature depression of not doing so kills me care to write to me i will be always available and listen to your life experiences and help if i can if you have serious level of depression like me then trust me you will find a person who can understand you at least  sorry for my rant i want deep connections with  depressed people no matter small or destructive level of depression,3.0
20954,chuck norris is why waldo is hiding hahahaha ,0.0
20955,i miss my hubby ,2.0
20956,a bunch of jumbled thoughts hello this is my first ever posthave mercymy name is jordan and im  now not entirely sure why im creating this just want to get some thoughts out but may not be cohesive last week i finally went to see a therapist ive felt pretty lost for a few years now everything feels dull and not very fun even video games i dont seem to enjoy anymore i work for an insurance company doing it work  so most of the time i come home and want to do absolutely nothing even on the weekends i struggle to even find things to occupy my time friends are almost non existent because i dont reach out to keep up with them im still living at home with my mom and constantly feel bad for not moving out but houses are expensive even with living at home i hardly talk to my mom or if i do its  or  word replies if you couldnt tellim very much an introverti guess that could be considered the intro off to more detailsonce upon a time i used to love playing video games with friends back when halo   amp gears of war were big fast forward a few years after graduating college getting a job at a pc repair shop eventually moved out to an apartment where some of my coworkersfriends lived this was very well the most independent ive been almost a year passes where everything seems fine my employer ends up laying me off this is in  i wasnt able to find a job quick enough and luckily had enough money saved up so i didnt breach the contract for the apartment things get pretty rocky at this point the fact of not having a jobmoving back in with your parents the amount of times my mom amp step dad told me sometimes you need to do something you dont like was stupid  everything in the area at the time was either help desk or phone supportwhich i did not want to do that fast forward again to july  i landed  month temp job paying  an hour which was way better than  i got at the repair shop this job is still my current job although my role has changed now i started out doing our inventory room it was a wreck i first started desktops on the floor laptops monitors boxeseverything took me almost  weeks to get it cleaned organized and desktops wiped of company data to be brokered eventually i got approached for doing such a great job to come on fulltime also note we have a long term contract with this company everything seems to be on track now with a decent job and money to eventually move it a few months go byin october  my dad called me the day before my birthday i didnt get chance to call him back that weekend as im streaming on twitch one of the tomb raider games we used play i get a call from my grandma my dad had passed away its weird how i remember exactly what i was doing at that momentit didnt feel real i was always closer with my dad than my mom he always brought home random computers for me to play around with got me a lot of the consoles growing up i immediately ended my stream and drove over to his place everyone was waiting for me and the cop asked me if i wanted to see him i said yes and walked backthere he was ive never seen a dead person in my life let alone my own father the cause of death was from an aneurysmso at the very least it was quick and painless he was only  but had been having long term health issues back when i was in highschool he had gotten hit by a drunk driver and thats when all his health issues started not sure why im mentioning all of thisit wouldnt be a funeral without drama right my dads family had a hard time paying for half of the funeral cost he unfortunately didnt have any insurance so it all needed to be out of pocket if i remember correctly it was around  i had saved up enough from my new job to pay for half after thats all said and done my grandfather bugged me every few days for my dads chevy tracker with almost  miles on this went on for almost a month eventually i just got fed up and just had the title transferred it may have also been the wrong choice but i did not take over his estate since it was a trailer and wouldnt have gotten much anyway nobody in his family wanted to take over the estate after consulting a lawyer i defaulted to let the state take care of everything at that pointa few months go past not entirely sure of how im feeling our manager at work got fired and we got another one actually much better than the previous for once i actually walked up and initiated a conversation instead of me doing the stock room stuff i started moving into doing pc installs replacements hardware replacementsetc then eventually got trained to do work at home installs basically entails taking a clients equipment from the office driving to their home and connecting everything to make sure its functional this is the best feeling of progression ive had i get to drive by myselfjust listening to music or whatever and get paid mileage eventually they laid of the main work at home technician and i was the only one to do this for a building with  employees you can probably see where this is goingunfortunately we kept losing people and never replaced them now its  and im still the only work at home technician as well as doing lifecycle for the office im usually doing  replacements every day and am hardly able to schedule work at home installs our contract states we should have  techs between all of our officeswe are down to  there have been no pay raises regardless of us picking up the slack amp consistently receiving kudos outroim feeling exhausted all the time and wish i could move out from my moms house every time i mention an apartment i always get the but you could invest in a house instead ive hardly been talking to my best friend which we used to talk everyday in highschool everything just seems so boring i cant get into video games anymore most days i just sit here doing nothing im hoping this therapist can help ive also scheduled an appointment with my family doctor as she said they may be able to help as wellthanks for reading if you made it this far may edit some stuff later,3.0
20957,im stuck in this hole and i cant get out i feel like im stuck in this deep hole of loneliness i have  friends and im not even that close to one of them i do have children and they did count against loneliness my car battery died and i had to knock on random neighbors doors until someone would jump me i go to therapy  times a week i realize how lucky i am but im still so lonely that i dont know what to do with myself i feel so miserable i dont know what i need i dont know how to fix this ,3.0
20958,dipankarburman yait has a weird iconcan you xplain it and for the second matterjust overlook whats not making you happy ,0.0
20959,today my mirror makes me cry yesterday i was in group therapy for the  time without any feeling of hope they dont listen and they dont understand ive tried so hard for several months now ive tried to get more help ive tried to get individual therapy ive tried to get medicine because god knows i need it i feel like im on this violent emotional rollercoaster and i just wanna get off i want some controltoday theres just an empty shell of a human looking back at me just a head and stomach full of pitch black gloominess twisting and turning my insidestoday the sun is bright and shining and it should make me feel better i went for a walk listened to podcasts meditated but it wont change how i feeltoday and the last few days the thoughts of selfharm have been overwhelming im not gonna do it itll make other people sad itll disappoint my boyfriend my parents myself i cant do anything to stop this hell because it will affect other people and i know its not a solutiontoday i want to give up i want to sleep i want to push everyone away i want to isolate myself i want to stop hating the person in the mirror looking back at me i want to be happiertomorrow i dont knowfor now ill probably just go hug my cat,3.0
20960,aszeg i just laughed so hard but it probably is a sign its the  which is when youll be coming back from conneaut ,2.0
20961,rt priyankacraina mental health problems affect  in  childrenoften a direct response to what happens in their livesgrf ,1.0
20962,shower shower  off to bunas place afterwards,0.0
20963, fav i cant go to that link my job blocked it ,2.0
20964,i cant find a job and i dont know what to do i have been searching for a job for months i have applied for dozens some where a bit or a reach but i directly fit the bill for most every previous job that i have had has told me i am a great employee i live somewhere with a good job market i cant even get a call back ive never felt so worthless,3.0
20965,dk won against sweden ,0.0
20966,whyy is life so good ah ,0.0
20967,ringfingerslave srsly you could fry an egg on my back right now ,2.0
20968,i want a tattoo but i need a parents signature  amp i dont know what to get lol,2.0
20969,allieloves oh dear thats my kinda nightmare ,2.0
20970,i now dedicate blink  i miss you to ionlydrumnaked  i miss you,2.0
20971, wow this is pretty late sorry but red wings are leading    ,0.0
20972, says he can feel the city crying what a depressing game ,2.0
20973,bridgetcooks hahai heard the song  i stayed we locals and they made me eat oysters fresh out of their secret beach area p,0.0
20974,leahtanner you are welcome dear  ,0.0
20975,omd jus dne me english exam i fink i flopped it omd  aint gna find out till august wen da results cum in ,2.0
20976,woke up prematurely to the horrible screetching of bats  in beaumont ca httplooptushflqgt,2.0
20977,kaelahbee  i used to have permante tonsolitis and for  years i was on the emergency waiting list for a tonsolectmy i feel your pain,2.0
20978,great now im sad,2.0
20979,could inflammation be whats making you depressed  mood depression,2.0
20980,mattiej haha yeah we definitely do where would we be without it ,0.0
20981,mmhmm no mood  but oh well its a nicesunny day i plan to read my book instead of doing work thoughbut i dont think i shld la,2.0
20982,chilis awe i wanna i wanna ,2.0
20983,easier its easy for me to drink in any mood drinking goes for any and everything 😂,0.0
20984,currently watching angels and demons sorry  ,2.0
20985,oh im just so sad and gay i want to go to sleep in a bed with ouma,0.0
20986,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
20987,kehndae noooo  i thought she was stayin over and mayowa didnt tell me she was coming so i couldnt get to this in time to see her  ,2.0
20988,im pretty confused but in that good kinda way also hoping that she will talk to me soon i miss her ,2.0
20989,xscarlettx how did your geo isu go i swear i just had the worse day ever ,2.0
20990, haha i love that you love spn now hows that going what ep are you on summer is sad wout it  glad i got twilight lol,2.0
20991, yes but i know it cant happen already have vacation in june  maybe one day,2.0
20992,whoooo ill miss everyone in  weeks though  ill miss all your losers screaming at the top of your lungs when i have a headache nottt,2.0
20993,phillysaxon im ok with being a taylorfag haha ,0.0
20994,woke up this morning and realized how amazing my god is im completely blessed ,0.0
20995, i have severe anxiety most of it social anxiety,2.0
20996,has to write a  page paper on margaret atwood ,2.0
20997,narshada some kind of heinous migranesinustoothache interface not impressed am home and full of meds ,2.0
20998,zzwhitejd thats my girl  re nascar,0.0
20999, thanks for going with me amp breakfast ,0.0
21000,and the award for longest ever interview goes to steve rudd this interview is mammoth im on my  coffee  ,0.0
21001,tuccipaperco you must live near me  baksale bettys is good good stuff ,0.0
21002,ive just been traumatized hubby accidentally ran over the bunny nest with a rototiller  baby dead its so sad ,2.0
21003,i cant do anything heres my situation im sitting inside my messy apartment three days before i have to move to the next town over my car is outside with a boot on it because i didnt pay many parking tickets then parked on the side they were street sweeping this morning i have no income ive applied for long term disability but that may take up to  months if it even happens im supposed to apply for short term disability but wow i cant even seem to do it fear of what exactly i quit my full time sixfigure job in december with barely enough saved to last a month this came after i was an inpatient at a psych hospital twice last year now thats not even an option because i lost my insurance when i quit and the task of navigating the postworkprovided health insurance world is too daunting for me i cant do anything ive lost my will to live and i seem to be selfsabbatoging big time i am prescribed wellbutrin zoloft and vistiril i only take about half the time and constantly avoid going to pick up refills ive been battling depression my whole life but this is insane in a matter of months i went from an employed high level manager on a path to success to this i suddenly cant even check my mail cant talk to any friends i am insanely fortunate that my boyfriend of four years is working hard and taking care of me even when he could walk away im  and not sure how to live real life again anyone else down this deep ,3.0
21004,brighter brightest boys just came over to say hi  love them cant wait to see them play  w billy of silverstein on thur at the bovine,0.0
21005,ive gained  lbs in the past  years because of my depression anxiety hey guysthrowaway account wooive been suffering from pretty severe depression since i was around  years old i always knew i was depressed but getting diagnosed with anxiety changed my outlook on things and i figured it was just my anxiety making me feel the way i feel flash forwards to october of this year when i got diagnosed with severe depression i can  say this weight gain stems from iti quit dance three years back and since then the weight has been steadily piling onbut now as ive just gotten home from school ive been faced with a bigger slap in the face then ive experienced in the past  months i decided to weigh myself remembering in august how my weight was around  lbs i weighed in at  lbs meaning ive had over a ten pound weight gain in  months im only  and i feel absolutely disgusting about myself i know ive been eating a lot lately but i didnt think it was this bad how could i let myself get so out of control i dont even know where to begin ive tried to control my eating habits but i always end up binging again i feel disgusting and unattractive and im beginning to panic i do not want to be this big has anyone else felt this way lately i could just use some words of encouragement i dont know,3.0
21006,i just cant catch a break i went over to my friends house to hang out and and chill theres this girl there ive had a crush on for a while this was a pretty major crush i loved talking to her and i thought i had made a genuine friend then he walked up to us and revealed to me her and him were fucking and then walked away now im stuck here until morning i dont know what to do i dont know how to feel i want to be angry but its none of my business who people fuck then im depressed because this kind of thing happens all to often to me and im tired of it i thought i was gonna be happy for a second then i was stomped to the ground  ,3.0
21007,need to readd all contacts on msn ,2.0
21008,dammit its not fucking working shit you ,2.0
21009,ahhhh swine flu is spreading through out scotland ,2.0
21010,the dentist tried to pull out my tooth and it wouldnt budge  so i have to go to a surgeon and be put to sleep ,2.0
21011,i think ill feel better now i havent been able to focus on work for a few weeks now been reverting excessively to things that make me feel good like watching diesel engine repairs on youtube and eating sweets and cakes and stuff i realise its not going away and im starting to feel like i havent seen the sun for a while and im starting to get a bit anxious im not sad though im generally cynical and pessimistic but in a witty sort of way so im just applying copious amounts of that manner to this current bout i actually pride myself on being able to sort things out without having to talk about it to another person i havent told my partner cos even though hes a saint he makes me feel absolutely awkward about talking about myself anyone know what im talking about,3.0
21012,brandonaaron yupwriting an article now on encapsulation for beginners ive got quotvar selfthisquotpreceded by quotin jquery  ,2.0
21013,not even joking if i can reference to paramore hey monday etc and generally the music industry it will actually be life  im a loser,0.0
21014,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,2.0
21015,stopahmadi get some rest stay strong stay mobile  iranelection ,0.0
21016,we tried to break into holiday in with the keycard we found so we could go swimming didnt work ,2.0
21017,the worst part of depression is that its stolen my personality my actual personality is over the top funin my opinion confident and kind but the depression teams up with social anxiety so that i just dont have enough enough energy to act like who i truly am i turn into this very flat monotone boring quiet person who i would never want to hang out with or date when im feeling better and have a little more energy i can act like myself but usually im just this shell at least with physical illness or bipolar or whatever you have yourself that fundamental spark of who you truly are and youre able to show that and share that with others i dont even have that privilege sorry if this comes off as arrogant or insensitive this is just how i feel,3.0
21018,idk what to do with myself quit my job cause im too apathetic to care severed all my friendships cause im too apathetic to care i literally just spend the day mindlessly scrolling through my phone i just cant  find the energy or the focus to do anything everything seems like a pointless choredrugs dont even help anymore they just enhance the feeling of apathy ,3.0
21019,iamhelenharrop isnt that known as quotspeakers prerogativequot  never works for me tho as im usually last in the queue ,2.0
21020,ive wanted to die every single day since the  grade im  even the real fun days the feeling always comes back no one loves me they say it but its an act everyone wakes up in the morning and puts on an act i cant i feel i dont have emotions because i dont know how to react to things anymore jokes funerals birth parties hanging  with friends i have to think about how to react its not natural i hate my face i hate my voice i hate that when your nice its considered weak i hate how the world works i hate the racism i hate the ignorance i hate when your closest friends do and say the most hateful things about you behind your back or when they think youre not looking i hate how evil this world is people are so grimey and so greedy the bad outweighs the good its backwards my grandma died this year and im completely empty and dont know what to do i dont want to be here anymore,3.0
21021,i feel off i dont know if i belong here because i havent been clinically diagnosed i have been having problems with self harm every moment i think of killing myself but i cant open up to people even if i really want to bring up something my stupid fucking psyche tells me that im supposed to be the dumbass of the group and i end up burying my feelings of course to fuck things up further i bring up my problems in casual conversation at this point ive told my best friend that ive been planning to commit suicide but my mood has gotten worse i lash out at people and treat them like shit i feel like i dont deserve anything and everything i have should be someone elses ive been failing at school because i want to do the homework but i just dont do it and lie to my parents they dont see that anythings wrong and they just chalk it up to puberty people tell me im feeling sorry for myself and begging for attention and when they say that it hurts because i think theyre right every thought goes back to me hating and wanting to kill myself everything good that happens is immediately swept away because i think i dont deserve to be there and that i shouldve died i feel fucking pathetic people tell me that im just choosing to be unhappy and negative but i dont know what to do anymore it feels like every thought in my head has shattered and my mind feels like a piece of splintered wood i just need random anonymous people to talk to who want ask later on,3.0
21022,weekend chores done now to get ready for snowbirds bachelorette party and attempt to get some work work done ,2.0
21023,lisabloom ffs  there arent enough mental health professionals to fix you moronsstopdigging youve hit rock bottom,1.0
21024,reasons to live hey yall i feel literally nothing rn and as of late my thoughts of suicide are getting scary when i care amp i wanna keep caring that they are getting bad more often bc i worked hard to be here soeven fighting with depression or whatever other shit is in ur life cause thats how depression is most of the time there almost definitely is what are your reasons to live what keeps you from saying fuck iti wanna read them cause i care about absolutely nothing right now im completely and totally numb and yesterday i was planning how to die and i really dont want to keep doing that thats pretty much the only thing thats motivating me to do anything i mean the thing thats keeping me here right now is my main way of being able to do so is overdose with my anxiety shit and alcohol but my roommates best friend died when she oded and its her first semester in college and my partner was just raped and everyone like abandoned him so essentially those are keeping me here bc even if my roommate wouldnt miss me i think another person she knew dying of an overdose would not be good for her and even if im a shitty partner and he can do better im what he has rn but yeah idk if thats gonna be enough soon anyway the point is what keeps you here even when everything feels pointless probably repeating myself idk even,3.0
21025,numbness ive been chronically clinically depressed for years its been like three months since ive cried thats a lot for me ive felt desperately like i needed to ive had emotional conversations with my friend and i just cant make the tears come im considering self harm again to try to make myself fucking cry because everything feels fake i know thats stupid but i dont know what else to do i feel like im about to break down all the time and i need emotional release ,3.0
21026, i miss you and you live here ,2.0
21027,thank you all for your nice replies ,0.0
21028,strike prv tweet less than a half europeans voters have choosen to go to poll stations an vote too bad ,2.0
21029,everyone has problems yeah i know they do but most people dont contemplate death on a daily basis and think the world would be better off without them i know im annoying i annoy myself im trying so hard to get better but its not working ive been trying different medications and dont really feel any better ive been trying to see friends and family but i always feel guilty for not being happy and bringing them down its like no one wants to spend time with me because im so depressed and no fun to be around if only they knew how horrible it is to be with me  but i cant escape myself im stuck with these thoughts and wishing i was never born i know its no ones business but my own but it hurts when people think this is just normal ups and downs its not ive been thinking about dying ever since i was a kid i try to maintain the facade so people dont worry i go to work and excel at what i do i crack jokes all day because if i cant smile maybe i can make other people smile i pretend its all good then go home and throw up from crying so yes everyones got their problems but i dont think they would last long with a brain like mine i want to be better i just dont know how,3.0
21030,suicide doesnt solve problems suicide doesnt solve problemssuicide doesnt solve problems,2.0
21031,faerieflr me too  ahh freedom,0.0
21032,watching wild child again i fricking love it  til another  hours of work ,2.0
21033,last night was great want to go again ,0.0
21034,this is so frustrating hello everyone  last month i hung out with a friend of mine who said that he would be in the area that i live in around new years  we have some friends that live there too and he said we could hang out if i was around  he seemed enthused about it  well now that i followed up im told we could get lunch if his schedule permits  the thing is hes hanging out with our mutual friends and somehow we cant hang out even for an hour  somehow i cant hang out with them even though i dont know them as well as he does  i dont understand why im being left out,3.0
21035,terrysimpson saharabloom smackdown smackdown with the ginormous biceps were abuilding ,0.0
21036,oh man an hr drive by myself is going to be ridic haha ,2.0
21037,alyssamilano thanks from tehran with sorrow ,2.0
21038,i dont think i can do this anymore ive been miserable for months im in love with someone i cant be with im struggling with issues that came up years ago and still haunt me im not close with anyone not even my family i cant find any reason to continue going on it all seems insurmountable im having terrible thoughts and i dont know what to do im ashamed,3.0
21039,thewinator when i want to take a picture the camera makes a different noise and then i got an quoterror  ,2.0
21040,my cupcakes are up and my hse didnt burn down kewl ,0.0
21041,coloursfest  was awesome had a ball ,0.0
21042,goodnight amp goodbye ,0.0
21043,omg seirously i sound like sucha man with this gay sore throat ,2.0
21044,dejaminaj i like mine no sugar and two tea bags fully brewed  im a sucker for all things strong ,0.0
21045,home with the family megan amp and i had a good day w no boys but it sure feels good to be together at the end of the day  fb,0.0
21046,madison does not like to swim  ,2.0
21047,god i need friends here why do all my friends have to be out of town i hate sitting at home by myself pregnancy makes me lonely ,2.0
21048,im cryinh im so sad what the fuck,2.0
21049,i feel lost everyday i kinda just wait until someone invites me to do something i barely do my schoolwork anymore second year computer science student and i feel completely useless and i have no motivation to do anything ive been suicidal in the past and lately have been getting those thoughts again i have a girlfriend but she goes to university two hours away so i dont like to bug her too much because i constantly always feel a whole in my life ,3.0
21050,work now   hours on the barhere we go,2.0
21051,gamago store party tomorrowtoday im hella poor but theyre giving out freebies and its free comic book day too ,0.0
21052,hireheather i dont like this hat either i dont know why so much affection for it ,2.0
21053,i prefer last season of ugly betty ,2.0
21054,my mouth tastes funny ,2.0
21055,quota wellspent day brings happy sleepquot leonardo da vinci good night all im off to happy land ,0.0
21056,is excited for everything  ,0.0
21057,rt stormisuponus sad thing is patriots had no real heroes for decades anyone who challenged the cabal were killed we have had no true l,0.0
21058,storylet yes it is cant leave twitter to watch tv haha too much noise maybe youre right ill think about disconnect them  again ,0.0
21059,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
21060,good morning oh what a glorious beatiful day three families still here having fun fun fun ,0.0
21061,daeone nothing just started working   lol how was ur day,0.0
21062,still missing my safari tabs at the top ,2.0
21063,not sure if this belongs here i cant remember the last time i was truly relaxed or when i had nothing negative to think about but now and its like all of a sudden i feel like this weight is just pushing me into the fucking floor every goddamn day and theres nothing i can do about it,3.0
21064,theknickermafia bloody fine sushi tho my fav dish ramsey is fing crapping himself ,0.0
21065,andreameyer youre very welcome yout tweets and insights make me happy and i hope the rest of the world can experience that ,0.0
21066,portiaknox omfg welcome to twitter ,0.0
21067,alexrappley me too ,2.0
21068,rt frackreynolds tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef that im a vegetarian and i have a crippling anxiety disorder so hell yeah,2.0
21069,how do you know this may sound like a stupid question but how do you know if youre depressed i go to work come home lay in bed with the lights off no tv occasionally ill scroll through social media with no motivation my room is a mess im procrastinating on finishing my application for grad school nothing on my todo list is getting done ive fell off from going to the gym i just want to be left alone off and on ive experienced this throughout the years i just told myself im lazy and not putting forward enough effort i listen to other people who who struggle with depression their description of it doesnt sound as bad of what im experiencing im not suicidal i dont cry randomly i just dont have motivation and want to be alone ,3.0
21070,i always wake up with random cutsworn down spots in my mouth i cant finish my subway sandwich cuhs it hurts ,2.0
21071,omg ive been ay work  hrs and this is my first tweet  mondays are so busy and all my cases are messy  ,2.0
21072,stupid piece of shit woke up with a stupid piece of shit mentality the past few days feeling depressed miss my mum dont know who to talk to dont know where to vent sick of work sick of home sick of me,3.0
21073,rt  girlhermes philipseidl lilylitebug hackedoffhugh dont be silly i served my daughter up a steaming plate of my ,2.0
21074,tnemc i just dont get the issue is it soybeans only or a beanwide problem cause i love all beans ,2.0
21075,heidimontag im at work and im sick thats how my saturday went ,2.0
21076,emptiness  yo malebeen feeling empty for a long long time now nothing has an emotional effect on me whatsoever i am constantly bored and find myself nearly climbing the walls out of frustrationever since i was a little kid i was always quiet and distant as if i was born with some severe disorder i dont like to engage in conversations with other people since i tend to not like them very easily or am generally not interested in them or what they have to sayi was told by many that i can be extremely cold and apathetic at times its hard for me to be thoughtful of other peoples emotions since mine are very shallow to begin withhaving trouble with finding enjoyment in anything   spending time with friends watching tv cant even bring myself to sleep unless im really tired since the activity is so unrewarding and boring to mei often lie to make others perceive me the way i want them to it just comes very natural and i dont think twice about it but although i dont care much i can see that its pretty fucked upnever had any self esteem issues so i dont want this post to come off as selfloathing i am just aware of the situation i have come to terms with the fact that i am just a shadow of a person possessing no desires or ambitionsjust finished high school and while everyone else was ecstatic or sad to finish i just felt absolutely nothing dont have any direction or leads on where to go from here,3.0
21077,i think the grayons dont work on pcs   creativetechs,2.0
21078,natashamin its such a nice day to go shopping im jealous enjoy ,0.0
21079,omg i got my ipod to work again  thank god ,0.0
21080,i love my message history d declined ,2.0
21081,rt rashivats houston is ranked one of the moststressed cities in the nationwooosa how do you manage stress,2.0
21082,still cleaning sad to leave our latest feline foster ,2.0
21083,martibelle lets cut back on those last  words youre bringin me downnnnnn  also youll be on point tomorrow with the  hrs d,2.0
21084,donniewahlberg i am sad today  husband says our marrige ovr aftr  years  hve  year old  how did you get thru it i need a hug,2.0
21085, just wondering if ur planning on doin a tour in australia coz my friends and i in perth really want u  come here ,0.0
21086,thycknyumi i kno how u feel u its about to b an ugly day in jersey ,2.0
21087,ashleyltmsyf i like the song i miss u by miley cyrus cos its about her gdad and my gdad is really ill atm   love you lots xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,2.0
21088,never feel alone again a seamless way to feel connected to someone i started to build httpslunecarecom because i worry about my family as much as they worry about me maybe this can help others you can read my story  and help me by telling me about how i can build something to help you signup leave feedback message me love,3.0
21089,beddd throat hurts ,2.0
21090,rt mhmatters depression in a social world  majordepression,2.0
21091,been revising for religious studies for over an hour now ,2.0
21092,hate being sick in general  but even more on fridays ,2.0
21093,würde nicht weiter auffallenwäre ich nicht mehr danotjustsad depression bipolar suizidgedanken,2.0
21094,mi vs rcb and i am in a fix ,2.0
21095,crazytwism yessssss  infinitely ,0.0
21096,artusof sono curioso  da dove prendi i feed per calciotweet,0.0
21097,a must watch shit was so sad man,1.0
21098,lesson  complete ,0.0
21099, youve just made me laugh so much i cant breathe    anyway awwwwwwwwww dribbles,0.0
21100,is sleepy achy and missing mr taff ,2.0
21101,there are so many people on this earth that youll never know everyone amp that gives me sm anxiety,1.0
21102,well arent you a busy girl haboushy im jealousi mean not about being a girl lol but you gotta lot of excitement going on ,0.0
21103,thoughts of lovely sunny day have been interrupted by the explosion of dog crap all over the courtyard i have an unwell dog me thinks ,2.0
21104,pusing  ,2.0
21105,is going shopping to get an outfit for beyonce tour ,0.0
21106,tylerreardon i cant  its a  hour drive u should do a show in newburyport my friend made  just playing on the boardwalk  time,2.0
21107,ryandelicious lmao srsly its great though i wasnt expecting it to turn out as well tbh ,0.0
21108,sore from working out ,2.0
21109,anyone else want to want to do stuff like have the motivation then you force yourself to do stuff you used to enjoy like playing video games and then you get major anxiety cuz you know youre not enjoying it but by god youre gonna keep doing it until you will i just wanna be able to enjoy shit without having anxiety when i do it i want to be able to watch youtube channels i used to watch and play video games i used to love playing and when im depressed ill force myself to do it and ill just be having a shit time and trying to pretend that im not like ill make plans with my friends because obviously i wanna see them and hang out with them but if im depressed and really dont feel up for it ill hang out with them anyways because i feel bad and then ill get anxiety because i dont wanna act depressed in front of them because i dont want them to think that something is up so i try to act not depressed and ill do and say shit that doesnt feel right and is just plain out not me,3.0
21110, thank you feeling much better now ,0.0
21111,keeda nahin chimpoo crucifire ne humein sab ko adivassi samjh kar wish kiya kal raat ko jungle main so gaya lagta hain ,0.0
21112,found out my boyfriend feels hes living half a life because of me title basically explains it ive been very depressed with a panic disorder for  years had some battles with medications that didnt work out but now on something that is sort of helping i tried to commit suicide earlier this year and i found out a few days ago that he feels like hes living half of a life because of me and said it the night after i tried to commit i dont know what to do its all of my worst fears come true i constantly feel like a burden and im really trying to get better taking my medication every day joined a mindfulness group and am doing cbt now and i feel like even if i do get better hes going to resent me for taking away his university years as weve been together from  year and are now in  i feel absolutely horrible all the times hes stayed a little longer when he has class because im having some pointless breakdown the stupid arguments and everything that ive caused i feel like i should let him go because hes scared im going to commit if he leaves because ive been idealizing suicide for so long ive never ever even hinted that would be something id do if he left i would never try to manipulate him into staying ive been manipulated into staying in a relationship for that reason and would never do that to him i dont know what to do i just feel like im dragging him down and he deserves better i cant get past the phrase half a life with her  im honestly just a mess right now and dont know where to begin any advice is greatly appreciated edit we do live together and ive mentioned the post to him he says yeah i said that but its all worth it for you which just confuses me even more because how can it be worth it if you feel like youre living half a life ,3.0
21113,waiting for zac brown band to come on ahhhhh ,0.0
21114,on the surface i have it all i married my high school girlfriend and have a relatively decent job as a caregiver in the vayoud wonder what could he possibly have to complain about my wife whom ive been completely monogamous with wont touch me she wants kids more than anything else in the world  but she wont touch me im like a chauffeur sex toy and housematewhom just so happens to be tethered to this situation for lifemy job which i fell into kicking and screaming consists of helping geriatrics live out their end daysmy current case is a  year old  veterani cook i clean i lie to him every  hours when his memory resets and he meets me forbthe first time despite seeing me every weekday for over a year telling him his wife is out shopping as opposed to being dead for almost a decadeim going back to school for radiology trying to get into something restorative and less terminal school isnot going welli have no real friends my old acquaintances from my teenage years here all became bitter and miserable  or still live and act as if theyre  being on the wrong side of our neighbors are my wifes best friend and her family i dont really enjoy their company but have been conscripted into getting their first grader up and on the bus since the parents leave for work long before the bus arrivesthe kids great parentsmehmy wife is too lazy or undisciplined to get up early and do this so it falls to mei see everyone else happy loving family steady secure job by the way everytime i lose a client im out of work until i get another case which is free to fire me at any time a healthy marriagemy wife is also epileptic and her seizure medication makes having children quite risky but thats literally the only thing that motivates her to do anythingi have way too many people depending on me to do anything to myself  but it never gets any better every time i get comfortable and feel like i have a handle on things  life pulls out the rug out from under meive been in therapy for the past few years and its helping somewhat but there is  only so much i can talk about with him plenty in fact but there are some parts of this i cant bring myself to talk about,3.0
21115,does everyone experience depression at some point ive never been the type to speak out on what im going through but im at the point where i just feel lost im  by btw life has always been good to me even through all the hardships ive always felt like ive lived a pretty decent life i always felt like i knew what i wanted to do with my life even without knowing if that makes sense like i knew it would always work out i played sports always was out going and just a positive person in general then i started smoking weed when i was  and i just feel like my whole personality changed and not to sound like i regret who i am but i started doing things i used to say id never do but i feel like thats usually for most people growing up school always came naturally to me so i always made good grades with little effort but i started to  lose focus on school and more on having fun whos trying to smoke what parties are going on trippin acid it just lead to me getting in trouble with the lawdoing stupid shit messing up my relationship with my mom my ex girlfriend now fast forward i decided to leave my home town and go live with my uncle and basically started fresh but i just feel like i discovered a whole new sense of self but im also going backwards at the same time ive lost my drive in school not because its too challenging more so because i feel like my life is stuck in a circlei have little to no friends i work all the time i smoke all the time cause i have nothing better to do ive tried to quit multiple timesbut all these negative thoughts just cause me to relapse it honestly makes me feel weak like i dont have any self control ive had a dream of going to pharmacy school but after weighing the pros and cons i dont know if ill ever be happy we live in a capitalists country youll always be working for someone else come out of school  in debt and pay more than  or more in taxes each year and i just feel like im working towards something i really dont want when all i want is freedom ive been making beats for years and just dont see how i can make a name for myself doing this and its starting to interfere with my school work and i dont know if i should just give up something i truly enjoy and continue wasting years on a career i know i truly dont enjoy i guess the depression is coming from the idea of not being able to enjoy my life the way i want and being a slave to all my doubtful thoughtssorry for all the grammatical errors and if its not that clear i was in the car writing this,3.0
21116,rt logicsfanpage only the real fans got emotional when they saw this anxiety is a real thing and just know youre not alone 🙏 ,0.0
21117,my heart no longer pitterpattered with anxiety it boombaboomed on the walls of my chest with panic malia fer ,1.0
21118,im just trying to build up the nerve i havent had a single choice in my life every choice that was supposed to be mine was taken away every experience i wanted to have i couldnt im stuck in a college i hate and i just want to stop i lost the will to keep fighting if ai even had it in the first place all i want is to stop forever i have a pile of pills next to me im just waiting trying to build up the nerve to take them all so things can just stop forever,3.0
21119,christophercox id do the same but we have no cheese or toast ,2.0
21120,sepis haha yeea  i should to go to sleep i have work in the morning and i work tomorrow night too ,2.0
21121,mwahahahah i need a shower ,2.0
21122,im an ice skating movie love it but i prefer roller skating ,0.0
21123,i have the cutest boyfriend ,0.0
21124,right  nothing like that,0.0
21125,watching sonny with a chance ,0.0
21126,video games mean the world to me the real world sucks i hate it every moment in it just feels miserable i like to envelop myself in the virtual worlds i spend hours exploring and doing side quests when i create a character i make them as different from my real self as possible ill create people who confident and have exciting lives ill often even choose female characters too just so things can be different for a change i know its been said before on this sub but i just wanted to get my thoughts out video games truly give me the some of the only moments in life where i can feel at least a little bit happy,3.0
21127,naughtyneko sorry to hear this  sometimes people can be so hurtful,2.0
21128,going to recycle can   ,0.0
21129,i luv cute is what we aim  imlak the only person i know who has heard of dem they arent that well known in ireland ,2.0
21130,cdlove hope that works guests arriving will catch up with you later ,0.0
21131,rockinanna surprisingly its not the first time wed had a video featured on the daily show  all badges of honor,0.0
21132,i dont know why i feel guilty whenever someone who i dont know looks at me in the eye i feel somewhat guilty im cool with all my friends but when i see someone even though they say hi or smile or whatever i kinda try to hide myself every time i act as if ive committed a crime and running off so that i dont end up in jail how do i tackle this precisely,3.0
21133,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
21134,well twitter school starts up again tomoro yuck so i must now go to my bed as of tomoro i am officially a  year mostly higher pupil ,0.0
21135, allnatural ways to dialdown your anxiety before an audition  actinglife ,2.0
21136,misterwallace me too lost my job  how hard is it to get a decent job these days,2.0
21137,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
21138,inraen oops i mean atiii antithrombin iii ,0.0
21139,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
21140,nancyarnold ps  more  im going to miss you this weekend  will not be the same without you ,2.0
21141,at ai watching babe play marvel vs capcom  hes kicking some buttt,0.0
21142,im so tired  always tired always work to do sigh new assignments tomorrow,2.0
21143,is catchin up with the biggest loser ,0.0
21144,still working and its still sunny outside ,2.0
21145,rt themindblowings what does depression look like ,1.0
21146,fbing no one to chat ,2.0
21147,sitting here with alyssa aka the blowfish lol she just had all four of her wisdom teeth out ,2.0
21148,what a beautiful day hope its like this the whole day ,0.0
21149,im so sad 😔💕 오빠 사랑해요,2.0
21150,oooh lad this shit right here crazy man,3.0
21151,adderxyu gmv on your new entry in the derby  already had it on your other entry ,0.0
21152,secretthoughts well have to write a list and compare when we catch up ,0.0
21153,i miss my girlfriend i miss my girlfriend she was the only person i could call my friend now im all alone and i dont want to live anymore i have nothing to live for im alone im sorry if this is the wrong subreddit i just wanted to let it out of my chest im sorry everyone,3.0
21154,sometimes things do work in my favor ,0.0
21155,so today was a great daytheir were moments when i thought about them but overall i wish everyday could be like it was today ,0.0
21156,just got home from work    really tired walked instead of rode didnt take as long as i thought it would hmmmno carly anymore ,2.0
21157,officialtila iv been a fan of urs for  years not cause ur hott ur sweet and funny lol but yah im bi  i wish i could meet you ,2.0
21158,studying almost done with my first year of college hellyesss ,0.0
21159,iqlocal yeah sure  add a  to the front of that number and  more zeros and you got it   enough  are getting a cut already,0.0
21160,where did all the happiness go i dont remember the last time i was happy i crave those moments of intense laughter where i couldnt even breathe because it was so funny everything has become so dull,3.0
21161,smpfilms nope  i had to go look for it,2.0
21162,shawnorourke lol tru dat thanks bro ,0.0
21163,time for summer school ,2.0
21164,ahh downloading one tree hill and heroes season  heroes please dont let me down ,2.0
21165,i really need to revamp my music doesnt help that my itunes and ipod are broken  im going to make a list of music suggestions,2.0
21166,i dont know if im depressed im writing this at  i cant sleep all my troubles started a few months ago when my gf of almost a year broke up with me for mental health reasons since then ive been struggling with anxiety ive always had it but before it would only be emotional but now its become physical i become disoriented and paranoid on top of my emotional distress i guess im writing this to put it in text how i feel i know i have a good life i have a good job where i make good money and im liked and i like the people who i work with i have a caring family who do everything to keep me safe im starting college in a few weeks and its all paid for i have a new girlfriend who is obsessed with me and loves me but im not happy i cant stop thinking about my previous girlfriend funny thing is im not sure if i really liked her or not she wasnt the best person to or for me but im a wreck without her i used to have feelings for my new girlfriend but i just dont anymore its not her theres nothing wrong with her my mind is a mess and so am i right now im writing this to see if anyone else is in a similar situation where they have no reason to be sad but they are,3.0
21167,im still up thank you all for praying  ahahaha im watching britney for the record until school today should be a good day ,0.0
21168,rt beinpretty this generation so materialistic its sad fr,2.0
21169, u do please as i said  most of ur tweets are defentertaining g im okay thank u still missing my recently deceased cat ,2.0
21170,studying for linear algebra final tommorow instead of  ,2.0
21171,timvandernagel tnx thought so too but cant  requested rescource not found and also aint able to option click and assign ,2.0
21172,sytycdfansite  nice nice i like all the updates bout  ,0.0
21173,slowly but steadily i have sent  tweets hurray this is my  tweet ,0.0
21174,having some foods then sadly heading home from windsor this is the part i hate ,2.0
21175,why am i not getting msamateurradios tweets ,2.0
21176,aku tk kisah kerja stress teruk mana pun  kerja pun stress ape janji boss hod ngam aku boleh kerja lama,2.0
21177,today my dad has changed my style  its much girly than my style  bleee ,2.0
21178,i watched the directors roundtable for avengersinfinitywar and it made me sad to think jamesgunn might not be a p ,1.0
21179,boston college just got knocked out of the cws oh happy day  now to find some dinner,0.0
21180,off to watch terminator salvation popcorn whispers amp creme soda all supersized  yum,0.0
21181,got pulled over by a cop got a warning ,0.0
21182,history with angel and sophieee  xx,0.0
21183,rt allencwalls this gave me anxiety ,2.0
21184,part of my selfcare is to carry a bottle of lemon water with me at all times mentalhealth depression httpstcoqorktabbmh,2.0
21185,im all for supporting iran but i dont think i like green cats ,2.0
21186,our kids are both in a derbyshire schools string concert at the buxton opera house today theyre both quite excited ,0.0
21187,one more exam left tomorrow woo and its only  hour ,0.0
21188,finally home  bout time too cause i felt like i was gonna fall sleep on the road haha,0.0
21189,everything is pointless does anyone else feel like everything is pointless friendships family all these memories we try to createthey are pointless to me we are all going to die so what is the point to pass the time lately ive just been so depressed i cant find joy in anything i go on social media and see people and these connections theyve made and all this love and its almost foreign to me i feel like an alien looking in and wondering why these humans need to connect so badly  just trying to make sense of my thoughtsright now nothing makes sense,3.0
21190,billyraycyrus  its hard to be happy when ur stuck in wv with no money to move back home ,2.0
21191,mshady i think they remove this page now ,2.0
21192,heres how i would sacrafice a friend id trow a jar of peanut butter at a bunch of zombies and let the fat one chase it ,0.0
21193,on my way to tours sad to be away from my man for a few days  i will enjoy the family for now ,2.0
21194,has anyone used betterhelpcom im really terrible about making therapy appointments and the whole office scenario just turns me off in general ive only had one therapist that has ever really helped me but unfortunately she retired a few years ago and everyone else ive tried has been mediocre i came across httpsbetterhelpcom and i was curious if anyone had any luck with it the idea of being able to talk to a therapist on the phone or through messaging is appealing but the price is a little steep so i want to make sure its worth it before i make a decision im on medicaid right now so i could potentially see someone for a  copay but id be willing to pay if ill actually get help for once,3.0
21195,rt rosylovr i wish i could b a social butterfly n easily talk  people but my anxiety kills any chance of that,0.0
21196,i wish i was a doormat sounds weird i know but im one of those people who cant hide if theyre upset or angry i have to discuss it with my partner and it gets to be too much hes told me it would be nice if i was a doormat because hes tired of hearing about my fears in regards to him going out with friends or joining a club or something equally social i wish i wasnt so communication obsessed and such a crybaby i hate myself but apparently not enough sounds twisted but i aim to be one of those people who doesnt care to inconvenience anyone for the past few years it seems to be all that i do ,3.0
21197,what it really means when a depressed person says theyre tired  everyone gets tired whether thats physically mentally or emotionally some of us work very early or long hours or have a physically demanding job some of us are parents who are juggling kids the home and work and some of us are just depressed gtgt httpstopdoctorsusblogswhatitreallymeanswhenadepressedpersonsaystheyretired,3.0
21198,yandehkmulenga  morals mu government ts sad really,2.0
21199,i hateee back to work on mondays after awesome weekends  but i gotta finish my project at the office ,2.0
21200,i have such bad anxiety and i really wish i didnt because it ruins so much for me,1.0
21201,o i lost one followerrrr ,2.0
21202,strabismus night ,0.0
21203,tickets going like sooo quick really want them ,2.0
21204,saturday night service ,0.0
21205,i told my friend i self harm and it only made things worse i recently started to self harm and im really trying to stop i needed to tell someone that could help me through this but i made the wrong choice my friend threatened me to not talk to me anymore if i kept doing this and knowing her she meant that when i told her that she wasnt helping me she started saying that cutting is my problem and i must be mature enough to face it on my own that im just exaggerating making little things huge that lots of people are living worse situations than mine that after the cut i obtain nothing because nothing changes that im just one that isnt tough enough to rise up i was having a good day the day before was awesome and i just stopped thinking about cutting because i really was feeling happy but after this i was shocked i started thinking that she doesnt care about me not at all that if i decided to kill myself she wouldnt care i couldnt really believe it not from a friend and i still cant perhaps she was right my reasons if told to a stranger are not that big of a deal but for me all those things together everything mixed up this is the worst period of my life i just needed to tell someone,3.0
21206,yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
21207,there should be a large quotdrunkquot button on here one that stops you talking nonsense when quotpickledquot ,0.0
21208,i feel the worst i have in months for a long while i was relatively happy but still very depressed and unmotivated at times but i got over it but just yesterday i just feel so alone i went to a party and there were so many people hooking up and i dont necessarily want to do that it just reinforced the idea in my head that im not good enough and thats why everyone i know is more likely to find someone they love than me and i just feel like im missing that feeling of having a person to care for even if it was a good friend because all mine are so fake and dont care about me in the slightest but honestly and i know it sounds really dumb and pathetic but i feel like the only way i can feel complete or whole or just happy like i was when i was  or  is to have a girlfriend and i know that most likely wouldnt do much but im just so jealous i guess of everyone else finding people and being more attractive and outgoing than me i just wish that social anxiety wasnt a thing and i could put myself out there and seem more attractive that way to make up for my looks i just feel so lonely unattractive and unloveable right now this is a really dumb rant that i will end up regretting posting but i felt like saying this,3.0
21209,see ya tweeters  i have too take care of some projects,0.0
21210,dnwx sorry please dont hang me i promise not to pay my guitar again when im tweeting ,2.0
21211,bossacafez  im having kimchi at every meal and even as snack wonder if they would start fermenting in my stomach,0.0
21212,this summer sucks ,2.0
21213,my dog died noone cares my dog passed away  months ago i have depressive episodes for over  years they come and go but samson was always there i had him since he was a puppy he died of a heart condition at  years old in my arms i had to watch him the whole night suffer because there was no vet open or emergency vet services at night in my town his heart failed and fluid filled his lungs until he finally suffocated he looked at me pleadingly the whole time as if i could somehow make the pain stop he was panting the late night away i kept hoping he would make it til morning he passed away after struggling to make it to me he collapsed and i picked him up as he was seizing and vomiting blood he died struggling he died in painhe was my best friend i would give up anything for him he is gone he suffered and noone cares he was innocent and pure you might think im stupid for thinking of wanting to die and be with him i know its stupid but he was my best friend he slept with me every night i woke up everyday to his face for  years i had a routine set around him he made me laugh and smile he made me get out of the house he never judged me and was always happy to see me followed me everywhere even to the bathroom i cant seem to find joy in anything i miss him more than anything,3.0
21214,ellieluvvp fa realblurring out the chick dancing on the table ,2.0
21215,bummed that i forgot to go to walmart this morning at  on my way to work to get the new rf cd ug guess ill go on my way home ,2.0
21216,rabinaz cat are escaping artist  do u let them out or there r always kept inside,0.0
21217,im worthless please help me i feel like nobody likes me it seems like everyone just tolerates me being there i missed the opportunity to ask my crush out and its too late now i still really miss her so much everyday and she was so so nice while i am dating someone right now they would rather ditch me to play with this group thats just full of hate im literally the worst girlfriend ive ever heard of i cant do anything right and everyone hates me i just cut myself  times and really just want it all to endi miss the days when i would just get along  i miss the days when i could just be happy  i miss the days when i would just watch adventure time and play lbp  i miss the days when i thought i could do something  i miss the days when i could go to sleep without crying  i miss the days when i didnt even know i could kill myself  i miss the days when i would talk to my crush and she would talk back to me  i miss the good old daysand i need help  quick,3.0
21218,dcracker good luck tomorrow ,0.0
21219,tommcfly why dont you like rio as the other citys  you will just spend some hours here ,2.0
21220,how childhood trauma can affect mental and physical health into adulthood ,2.0
21221,i was so angry about something but right now i feel sad i want to send my deepest condolences to taehyung and his ,1.0
21222,parasitk pixel form kicked ass other performances were good boring machines was boring  sorry dude ,2.0
21223,i wanna  go to the go station and take a bus to toronto and stay there ,2.0
21224,i plan to disappear i cant bear my life anymoremy ex lives in my apartment because he has no money to pay a rent and nowhere to go until he completes his training and finishes his trial period in his new workwe broke up because he cheated on me with his former boss who is a  years old man married with another man for  years they had to stop working together because the company was short on money but they kept seeing each other im  and my ex is now the other guy is considering leaving his husband to be with my ex but they change their mind almost every dayother problem  i have back problems so i have difficulties to do the housework properly id like to clean up my place on a regular basis take  hrs each week instead or  days every  months my ex promised me months ago that he would do it to thank me for letting him stay for free but he never kept that promise every time he starts but never finishes i jeep telling him but he never takes me seriously when im angry he smileys and make jokes to anger me moreim threatening him to throw him out but he refuses to go or he laughs at me its also important to notice that he often lies about small things and biglast week i lost my temper and slapped him in the middle of a supermarket yesterday i couldnt find my keys i called him and accused him of stealing them yelled at him like crazy just to find them in my baglast problem is my job i like it but they often send me to thé clients site which is  from where i live its tiring stressful and i hate going there but they keep sending me there once or twice a monthsalso one of my colleague is just getting on my nerves occasionnally he reviewsy work when its not his place to do this he questions my abilities in front of my superiors or make comments on me to other colleagues but raising his voice to make sure i can hear it its another source of stress and anger herei cant live like this any longer i cry every day i get angry every day i feel like a completely different personnes as if i couldnt control my nerves any morei considered killing myself but with my ex home he will stop me from doing anythingso im considering disappearing going away and leave everything behind at least for a while but i dont know where to go im french with no passport so i can only go inside thé schengen space i considered going to switzerland but i dont know where to sleep or even how to live thereis there anything i can do to stop all this  its just becoming unbearable and i cant go on like this or i will really do something stupid someday and im not necessarily talking about harming or killing myself,3.0
21225,just got back home nice day even if ive never been big on  hrs on the road at the time  but it was worth it,0.0
21226,my teammate in overwatch had the name chieff and he continued to suicide on rein repeatedly and i had to unmute and ,2.0
21227,looking at the pacific ocean central coast california is flat no waves ,2.0
21228,my client gave me a bonus i am so happy ,0.0
21229,just ordered flowers and chocolates from interflora australia for my friends bday next week  miss her ,2.0
21230,shawnieora  happy mothers  day ,0.0
21231,still at work ,2.0
21232,lets twist again like we did last summer  lol,0.0
21233,personal hi im a college student and im a junior so i have felt a little insecure lately i had a lot of friends in high school i was homecoming prince then king then runner up for prom king people think im funny and i feel as if i have a really good personality in all honesty im just an overall kind of person i love video games while also liking sportsim not trying to brag on myself just giving you background information i have tons of friends from high school but clearly i need to make new friends in college the problem is once i got here i cant seem to make friends very well as if i am a weird person or something i dont know i try my best to be nice to people make them laugh but it never seems to work out sorry for rambling i just feel like people dont like me for some reason,3.0
21234,hanging out at the house getting ready for church we are burnt to a crisp from the beach get burn then peel no tan ,2.0
21235,this is love 🙌🏼 ,0.0
21236,doctors appointment for antidepressants going to cancel my appointment that i made i dont think im strong enough yet to go on medication ,3.0
21237,its not my birthday anymore ,2.0
21238, you be tiehaed dahlin im gonna go see what weird shit i write while under the influence lol night  ,0.0
21239,ok on sundays i make up my on word todays word is daycation  a one day vacation something i need badly ,0.0
21240,you make me worry ,2.0
21241,greggarbo   lmao the crazy thing is i actually understood it priceless ,0.0
21242,got my day off planned out workout library and possibly visit my mother ,0.0
21243,mistafuture yeah  i think you need a hug hug there maybe that can help a little   lol,0.0
21244,sarahsymmonds you have a cheeky sense of humour im gonna like you lol ,0.0
21245,watching the nightly southpark while creating more and more tests which evolves the code ,0.0
21246,just into work for a  hour shift and im sleepy already ,2.0
21247,shiremoot ive had microbes and molecules to cellsdrugs on thurs unis not all binge drinking and partyingmostlybut not all ,0.0
21248,karen is a meanie pass it on missin her texts ,2.0
21249,okay this is not easy all right i cavedyou probably dont know me but i dabble with animations and render pictures using mikumikudancebut enough about that let me talk about what i really came here forim constantly in a battle with myselfeverything i do i judge myself on anything simple or small dropping something failing at objective not getting enough views posting something online and im always in constant doubtnot only that i feel as if i have no purpose in my life and ive felt this way for about  years it runs on my nervesit was really bad today so bad that i actually had to swallow pride and post herethen again im probably just childs play compared to others,3.0
21250,blakehealy   awww very nice im jealous  hope u liked nz i miss you already ,2.0
21251,speedyb jail breal amp catagories ,0.0
21252,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
21253,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
21254,no more boredom you know the depression is bad when you no longer experience boredom regardless of what you are doing every waking thought when im not distracted is either self harm or suicide,3.0
21255,chucky is still gonna be ugly amp chucky is still gonna have anxiety ,2.0
21256,jledwell lisarex megux very comforting to know others are in portfolio hell too its making me feel like i suck at what i do ,2.0
21257,great night tonight with the highschool pepz nightyy nite twittersss ,0.0
21258,jenwozniak mbernatavitz im so upset about jon and kate   me too girls me too,2.0
21259,running around krogers wit danniiii waking up at the crack of dawn  funn stufffff,0.0
21260,first to think to eat dont eat ,0.0
21261,i am going to work than ill be home and im going to look for my camera since it must be lost in my house everyone have a wonderful day ,0.0
21262,tweenkiebelle ma kittys back to me ,0.0
21263,vickymoontree my one aint gorge at all  nite x x,2.0
21264,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
21265,i had a great time at the brickhouse last night now its back to work again today   good morning jasondereksmith,2.0
21266,i thought lisa was online ,2.0
21267,havent found my ipod yet  i want a death note,2.0
21268,i hate that i have to work graveyard shift and leave my wife and son alone ,2.0
21269,shoot went well exicted to work on the photos  im hungry ,2.0
21270,que sad dormir ya fue todo,2.0
21271,diefenbach i have found bits and pieces on the net but not a python expert  here is an example  httptinycczyszl,2.0
21272,leaving to go shopping  my last day in thailand   leaving today  actually tomorrow about  am but i have to be at the airport today ,2.0
21273,no point to life im stuck inside all day its the two hottest days of the year so far and everybody else in my life is doing something except me and i just feel like crawling into bed and dying i have ruined all my relationships with my friends because i cant control my anger and when i get angry i say awful things im officially alone i even lost my house last month so im currently living with a family member ,3.0
21274,finding that career and calling for my life ,0.0
21275,noooooo i meanyes  school tommorrow  ,2.0
21276,sad hours,2.0
21277,staceymonk have strong thoughts  will write a post in the am brain smushy now ,0.0
21278,justynalovesyou lmao me too omg i cant wait ,0.0
21279,the love of my life needs help and i dont knw wht or how  my wife n i recently got married a couple months ago and were dating  prior to tht  i hv a job tht where im out  n home on weekends so i always knew she has depression but lately i just feel really really helpless and dont knw how or even what to do  anything i say or do only seems to make it worse and today it just got so much worse  she says shes just never felt happiness or any fulfillment from anything any milestones she seems to accomplish tht she thought would finally break her free dont first was her lvn school  she passed  thn rn  marriage  shes finally loosing hope  and lately has been really depressed and very very negative  she says she feels constantly down  depressed and wants to end her life  it literally scared the hell out of me  anything i say to help or make her feel better just makes her more depressed and lash out at me  today she sayed im pushing her to end her life and i was so scared tht i begged her to make an appointment to go to the doctor which she rejected right away regardless of me begging her to  i just didnt knw wht to do but i knew i had to talk to someone so i tried calling her mom and when she didnt pick up cause i was away  and thn i called my mom and asked her to pls go over and giv my wife some company cause shes struggling without sharing any personal details but this seemed to anger her even more  i honestly just dont knw anymore  i drive  a day for work and its constantly on my mind and its breaking me down at this point i dont knw wht to do or how to help  i just want my wife to be happy cause we dont have any issues regarding anything but she doesnt feel any fulfillment pls help im breaking down and dont knw wht to do  say or where to start she wont accept any help doesnt want me to do anything abt it and leave her alone  ,3.0
21280,crazyycamille my dads being a jerk and wont buy me snowballs that made me miss you and your snowballs ,2.0
21281,great job last night every one im going to miss you all next year ,2.0
21282,eww refilling my phone took hours well copying  gigs of songs aint easy had to do it tomorrow ,2.0
21283,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
21284,really not looking forward in going out tonight but have already commited to going ,2.0
21285,enjoying leemcintyre s free quality report at  bare link  cheers lee ,0.0
21286, congrats on the mailman award ,0.0
21287,the spark is gone ,2.0
21288,joannahaugen congrats on the honorary roads scholarship that is really awesome cant wait to hear about your adventures ,0.0
21289,sadly i will not be in la this sunday as dtox sundays has been cancelled  hopefully ill be able to get out there soon,2.0
21290,does anyone else struggle to sleep at night but cant stay awake during the day for me it seems like an unending cycle of staying up all night because of my depressive thoughts and feelings but then being exhausted during the day because i got little to no sleep in the night this just leads me to feeling even more unproductive and leads me to just hating myself even more that or ive simply become nocturnal and cant function like a normal human being during my day job ive tried resetting my internal clock but it does not work i still get so tired in the daytime after finally getting  hours of sleep during the night,3.0
21291,im exciiiitttteeeed  todays gonna be a good day,0.0
21292,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
21293,im going to my fathers house to get the only thing he left me after his death  an oil painting ,2.0
21294,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
21295,hiya hornedogg   whats new   miss you ,0.0
21296,hey girls im out of school finished my finals for today  gonna be on twitter a lot today,0.0
21297,just bought latest edition of oxm going to give that a good on my lunch break ,0.0
21298,rt buttonpoetry sabrina benaim  explaining my depression to my motherget badasssab debut book  httpstc,1.0
21299,awake amp eating bfast im off bread amp fruit for the next  days but already sick of eggs ,2.0
21300,poppymartinez ill wear black today in memory of your hair  no u look like a cholo ,2.0
21301,johnvaughn sadly no  the heat crushed me and i crashed and burned but had a great time ill post a race report later,2.0
21302,i am making progress i have been battling a varying degree of depression for a long time  the last couple of months has been the worst ive felt in years its left me not wanting to do anything its left my house a mess and my hygiene almost non existent today im sleeping in my bed for the first time in  weeks it was covered in clothes and instead of just pushing it all on the floor i put it in a laundry bag instead of making a bigger mess i also took a shower for the first time in over a week i know i have a long way to go but it felt good to do those two things ,3.0
21303,im so excited to go see up in a little while ,0.0
21304,rdepression made me more depressed i thought id come revisit this subreddit because ive been struggling with my depression lately over a year ago i posted my situation on here  how my depression was effecting me at work i finally returned today only to find nothing on that post not a single comment just two up votes and now i feel even worse ironic right i just wonder why,3.0
21305,thedevilslair why not  too busy boys too boring  gay  sad ,2.0
21306,paulbrichardson aha ive been spamming your email account and leaving phone messages have a lovely time  regards to assembled celts,0.0
21307,kimmyawesome thank you that was so funny ,0.0
21308,us humans die from things like stress depression etc,1.0
21309, i just saw u on here im sorry bout jillian  and your sisters feelings i vent on here too bout things i cant on fb or ms hugs,2.0
21310,flamenkers i send messages to greg all the time no answer  its ok i still love o amp a goog luck with your move to erie,2.0
21311,dinner with julia im gna miss my babe ,2.0
21312,it was sunday story of few spring days sorry for my grammar not native it was on sunday beautiful day as it can be and i knew that the next one would just ruin it for me i was supposed to go to school and get through two exams i knew i learned nothing through whole weekend i wasnt stupid i hope so at least but just lazy to even open my books i went to sleep scared from what was going to happen if i bring bad grades again but at last i closed my eyes and fell into deep slumberhey wake up said little silent voice not far away from my face i woke up forced my eyes open and looked up on that someone who was trying to wake me up i sat on my bed and looked on my sister something was wrong even if she tried her best to be calm as much as possible she was shaking i took her hand and let her take me to living room bigger family house that we were living in it was just rented so it wasnt even remotely ours my eyes after a while adjusted to the lightmy mother angel of kindness was sitting on couch and sobbing something happened it was for certain at the moment but i still didnt know what they sat us there with my second sister right next to our mother and looked at us my mother took my hand and gave me a saddest look ive ever seendad wont come back anymore she said and i froze i remembered his face i remembered his smile and that hug i gave him day before i even remembered trip with him from neighborhood city and talked about what am i going to do with my life i didnt get it how could he leavewhat said my sister which was just two years older and in same shock as medad died said mother and broke down to tears in that moment i realized and broke down into tears as well did it mean that i could never see him again i grabbed someone who was closest to me and hugged him as close as i could i shouldve never let him go i was crying like never before i couldnt stop and no one couldwe were lying on the couch and were trying to calm each other tv was playing some stupid little series for children it was just so there wont be silence which was otherwise biting me from inside i guessed it was the endwhole week went like nothing nothing existed just me and rest of my family nothing mattered to me nothing mattered as much staying home seeing my mother and sisters trying to move on nothingthere came the day d funeral i dont know how we got behind that old church where nearby was club of my boyscout we went into some house i didnt even know about it me my mother and three sisters were welcomed by older man i really didnt care i wanted to be done with it he took us to small room and stood in front of something what reminded of casket and i got to see him again my father was lying there not smiling and his pale skin scared medo you want his rings asked man my mother as i couldnt took my eyes of his right hand where was this ring ring i always admired with carved stag my mother probably shook her head i dont knowyou can say your goodbyes and after that sit before the altar said the old man and left the room nobody could bear it and after few moments we went to second room great funeral hall we sat in first row handkerchiefs wiping our faces music started playingit was one of his favorites and i hear it all the time all i need to do is close my eyes and i can hear the music i cant play even now and see his pale facei wanted to scream but couldnt say a wordi was almost eleven years old and never got to know if my father would be happy about my life like we talked about iteven now i cry with basically numbed emotions because i cant introduce him to my girlfriend im angry i guess as i got so much from him but it doesnt mean anything if he isnt here to say somethingi hate myself for being angry at himhow could he leave 	,3.0
21313,so tired ,2.0
21314,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
21315,txt msging   ,0.0
21316,one minute im happy but just a second later my brain tells me something ive fucked up or puts me down like i keep telling my self im fat  and that everything i do and touch i fuck up im having a hard time i really am very day i feel like dying some days i get close to try and do it but i dont as i think of what to type im crying so ill make it easy i fucked up my relationship i have a half a dead toe from smoking i lost my cat from getting hit by a car ive quit smoking im really really struggling to quit drinking i cant sleep because of the amount of pain im in from my toe ive hurt my fiancés feeling to many times ive had a very hard upbringing ive had no friends for a very long time ive lost my car to a fire and every ducking day i want to die every day i get reminded from my self on how badly ive fucked up everything im fat as fuck   i have a such good people around me i want to be good for them and be the best o can but i all ways fuck it up and all ways punish my self mentally and physically i get mad at the fact that im getting sad and should get over it and just try again cause im a stupid fat fuck that nobody wants around and everyone would be better off with out me i wake up ever fucking god damm fucking day feeling like this and i just want it to stop,3.0
21317,campbowwow misterperturbed centerpet ty  happy followfriday luvies  via poppyscorner,0.0
21318,rsmck car woes seem to be a feature of this monday morning  i woke up to a flat tyre ,2.0
21319,the red sox got a home run ,0.0
21320,experience with depression and being numb so ive been depressed three times alreadyeach caused by rejection after falling in love so ive been only depressed as long as it lasted the last depression lasted till about two years ago and made me completely numb to my feelingsi am falling in love again and she has no clue but every sign that it might not work out makes me feel depressed againi dont even know if its just really bad sadness or depressionis it even possible to get really depressed again when youre like half numb ,3.0
21321,i feel naked without my belt ,2.0
21322,  btw im getting tire of the jobros like i work at bk there are this big posters and they are geetting on my nerveshaha,2.0
21323, whats wrong with it  hope it gets fixed soon,2.0
21324,is anyone else unable to look at themselves in the mirror when theyve had a really bad day i find that im unable to look at my own reflection in the mirror if my day has been particularly bad does it happen to anyone else or is it just me,3.0
21325, im good glorious weather here but been working all weekend after today im off for a week ,0.0
21326, woohoo cant wait  c  who were u standin next  donnie,0.0
21327,how could this happen to me i confessed to a girl and she proceeded to to blue tick me and send the screenshot to all my other friends and now theyre making fun of me i wanna kill myselfthanks amanda,3.0
21328,luvfashion how are you today its brrrrrrr out ,2.0
21329,jazzyattitude ugggggh i hate that shit too awwww im sorry mama lol im not laughing ,0.0
21330,googlygoogly ahhh the show just makes me sad now i know theyre getting divorced i just know it ,2.0
21331, ugh after trying for awhile i got the form filled out and then it went offline   i think i should win out of frustration,2.0
21332,ok im leaving bc this is making me sad,2.0
21333,britneezy i donttttt but my parents want me to go to a hbcu and thats the only one i applied to  i dont want my mac to get stolenlol,2.0
21334,is shocked that hardly any of her friends are on twitter and that hardly anyone is following me ,2.0
21335,omg i just bummed  from the parentals for the kiltmas crawl  because its the only fest they like so they gave me beer  hahahaaaaa,0.0
21336, i know i hate shots ,2.0
21337,jackie and i are out for toris bday good times in madtown   ,0.0
21338,myweakness his smile ,0.0
21339,awesome i dont understand why the zipper had to breakdown after we only rode it once ,2.0
21340,so my pic of me amp joe didnt work out  but hannah found this on tj amp im like über close to him can u see me  ,2.0
21341,omegatron reverting to internodes dns servers i really just didnt need the features so the overhead was just that thanks ,0.0
21342,what does anxiety feel like this poster will help students understand and deal with their anxious feelings and tho ,0.0
21343,postsurgery depression heyi had surgery on my foot about  months agorecovery is dragging oncannot walk or exercise as a result i cannot sleep my depression is coming back so angry i feel like im about to burst snapping at my family very pessimistic about the future im not even that excited about the european trip we are taking this summer anymore this is very unusual i love to travel i fell like i am stuck as if i will never move forward with my life im upping the dosage of my medicationanyone have a similar experience how did you get through it,3.0
21344,im bored at the drs office for my mommy and i miss my jeremy he works far away now ,2.0
21345,rt  can these next few months just like fast forward bc im sad ,0.0
21346,austinramsland i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
21347,dolidh i want some  but guess you ate it all rightand yes i will show them asap ,2.0
21348,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
21349,shower getting ready mall amp ryans for the night   cellson,0.0
21350,mcookiesactual  get out and run like they do in the movies,2.0
21351,i always instantly know when i start to stress bc i can barely sleep when i do,2.0
21352,tonight was way fun thanks to jescakate for coming with me ,0.0
21353,yay finished lord of the flies study questions  now i think i will work on my japanese hw sigh ,2.0
21354,really wanted crepes frm crepe cellar after a night  evening musebut a  min wait  jst was not happeninso taco bell had  do ,2.0
21355, im enjoying the summer mangoes and jamuns here its really hot but these two things make the summer better  need to bake more,0.0
21356,rpattz aw in canada robs birthday is about  end in  mins  noooooooo well nikkis birthday is this sunday  ,2.0
21357,oh my  these end of year school year activities parties amp recitals are exhausting me  way to busyits cutting into my twitter time ,0.0
21358,mollydotcom that came to me in my sleep ,0.0
21359,rt alyciatyre my anxiety has never been this bad i dont know whats going on with me,2.0
21360,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
21361,clairecordon true im hoping for an xbox afternoon doubt itll be monopoly though something more quotshootyquot ,0.0
21362,about to go to sleep so tired lola kept me up after  ,2.0
21363,im thinking about ending my life i dont really have anyone to talk to about this so i figured id post it here im  been unemployed for about  months i was working as a software developer but i got fired for lousy performance after i got fired i tried getting another job but just kept getting rejected im really not that good at software development i think im smart enough im just too lazy to learn stuff after a while of looking for a job i just gave up and started seriously considering suicide then about a month ago my girlfriend dumped me and now i feel so alonei know there are things i can do to get my life back on track but if im gonna kill myself then whats the point and if i dont i dont see myself ever being happy anyways im embarrassingly socially incompetent i cant motivate myself to put any effort in at work having close relationships and exercising are required for a fulfilling life and i just dont see myself ever doing those things even if i get a job again life is mostly just mundane and stressful truly happy moments are sparse and i dont really like myself im not particularly funny or creative im not fun to be around i have extremely low empathy so i find it difficult to form relationships im also a bit of a sexual deviantsex and porn addict which is really difficult to manage especially when im not as depressed as i am now and my sex drive is higherive already written suicide letters to all of my family members its been hard to even get myself to do that its like im so depressed that im too lazy to kill myself i wanted to write one more letter explaining why ive decided to do it and after that i think ill be ready but i still have some reservations the main one being that my family would be heartbroken i have two sisters a dad and a mom and they all really care about me especially my mom i wish i could leave without hurting her she loves me more than anyone could love anything idk how to die without completely devastating her it feels kinda like if i kill myself then im killling my mom in a way because it would completely ruin her life im gonna have to figure out a way to soften the blow when she hears the news that im dead maybe ill disappear for a while first so shell be expecting a call like thatanyways i just dont have anything to live for im sick of feeling nothing but apathy anxiety and shame all day long every single day ive thought about suicide pretty frequently since i was  so this isnt exactly a temporary problem now i think ive really just had enough with life i dont wanna continue anymore i do nothing for this world but consume and pollute it im useless i dont have any means to take care of myself long term and my savings are gonna run out so i feel pressure to do it soon i guess im posting this cuz i just wanted to tell somebody and im also just looking for some hopethanks for taking the time to read this,3.0
21364,rt coolsensespa the passion of tradition treatment with organic product and history blends to transport you into a world beyond every day,0.0
21365,not feeling very well still going to work ,2.0
21366, lol you just dnt know me i can always find a random to stalk  and how u gon drop hints  a place u dnt even stay yet smh,0.0
21367,carolineness good luck for tomorrow bitchtits  youll be fine  lovoo,0.0
21368,today was the best night ive had in i looong time ,0.0
21369,just got off work amp going to bed ,2.0
21370,bonnie has the urge to go shopping again ,2.0
21371,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
21372,one exam left all my finals have been pretty easy this should be the easiest summmer starts in an hourish ,0.0
21373,jenniferleeland im feeling like that right now but for  since my birthday is soon i dont wanna get old ,2.0
21374,sitting on my bed with my bestie jessica warner ,0.0
21375,allenbluelight omg im so in love with quotgoodbyequot i want more ,0.0
21376,just made some mango pickle with mom will carry some to bombay with me ,0.0
21377,today is a good day to share this again and remind the gop that climate science was once accepted as fact not use ,0.0
21378,sakit jari main gitar tak  pun ,2.0
21379, i want it i want it i want it but at work at the moment  ,2.0
21380,fataltoaster haha now thats is hardcore ,0.0
21381,at the uni ahah in the quotbistro uquot  slept during the past two courses thinking about my future death  gonna be mad,0.0
21382,i think my background looks fresh ,0.0
21383,i hate when you cant get comfortable in bed ,2.0
21384,thelevination she deleted mine too ,2.0
21385,twistedhelen dear god something about the way he chews on his bottom lipi keep going back and looking at that pic again and again ,0.0
21386,cycle of feeling depressed over no friends i cant really say i have friends right now theres some people i snapchat and my boyfriend who i live with but thats it he also has no friends and doesnt try to make any which makes it worse for me too i feel like i cant make friends because of how depressed i am sometimes its bareable but only when i get highdrunk or distract myself right now i feel horribly low and lonely and like ill never have friends again i cant stop thinking about how unlikable and horrible i must be if everyone can have friends except me i see people i think wouldnt make any friends who do and have regular plans i know its jjst because i dont put myself out there ever or even talk in public usually but im feeling so bad rn and just dont know what to do i keep trying to make friends on tinder etc but usually come off as desperate because i am just so desperate at this point to do something with someone and not feel like an undesirable monster ,3.0
21387,priscillacruz i tried to dm my phone number but dont know how ,2.0
21388,exit   see you soon ,0.0
21389,and the anxiety attack i had when i got here didnt help either,1.0
21390,just got home from watching drag me to hell wmahh uncle scary movie now im in bed watching fresh prince ,0.0
21391,she would make a good vampire  great song ♫ ,0.0
21392,its so nice out today ,0.0
21393,aggresive hell yea ,0.0
21394,going to the airport to salt lake city then honolulu i am sad ,2.0
21395,mjnewham good night ,0.0
21396,just got home gettin ready to go back out ,0.0
21397,wesellmoney bookmusicartist musicbookpro jilliemary janetnestor medibasket fightforyourdx therebelpatient ,1.0
21398,ready to watch the movie awards ,0.0
21399,im not a business man im a business damn  little hova for ya  female version though,0.0
21400,i dont know what to do the last couple of months ive found it harder and harder to wake up i wake up and just dont feel motivated to do anything the only reason i get up is because i have to go to high school and dont want to get in trouble recently im not motivated to do homework talk with family or hang out with friends and im not sure what to doi really just dont want to wake up tomorrow and continue the same cycle of going to school coming home laying down or playing games most of the time procrastinating my homework to the last possible moment and then sleeping again although im not really suicidal i didnt know where to put this so i came here,3.0
21401,foreverivy awww well winter doesnt start till july i think yeah but its really cold here   how hot is it there,0.0
21402,diverdown how is that different from any other weekend  ,0.0
21403,looking forward to my two weeks of summer vacation ,0.0
21404,roshellereily my ex he just called ,2.0
21405,is enjoying a beer and some people watching looking fwd to djing at club rise in perth on friday ,0.0
21406,staying up late with juliesantino and anna fell asleep on me ,2.0
21407,bjainaz  so glad to hear your root canal went well   hugs •☼♥♫♥,0.0
21408,just waking up in the morning gotta thank god i dont know but today seems kinda odd ,0.0
21409,not feeling all that wonderful today damn migraine ,2.0
21410,rhettroberts im sick and at work and i dont have work to do ,2.0
21411,knan lolno sulking  put that bottom lip back in  i did check it out but havent uploaded yet  i will ,0.0
21412,roooobee  i cant enjoy a person who is too controllingi dont even like jamir anymore ,2.0
21413,want to make  an hour like meeee doing simple surveys httpbitlyojtlv  yaay ,0.0
21414,    it happens unfortunately just move on it will be alright,2.0
21415,bbbonnie  we can put it off til  but youd have to come over right after,2.0
21416,technotetris  i  but all the pics on my myspace with me in it ,2.0
21417,newgadgetsguru it is much better for me to use than on storm or maybe wait a bit later on storm  google the video ,0.0
21418,totally been spazziin out past couple ov days but oheemgee um so proud ov da cavs  iiluv dem now dey rock hard,0.0
21419,lmveiga thanks leslie ,0.0
21420,bbqs heating up ,0.0
21421,playandstay well ive actually only been to thorpe park   so im sooo looking forward to alton towers,2.0
21422, what did u say lebron didnt even make it to the finals awww i know  poor baby p llaakkeerrss,2.0
21423,trying to finish my thesis when i never really started hello all  this is the first time i am posting anywhere about my mental health so this makes it the first time i am admitting to having a problem publicly and i just dont care anymore it is very difficult for me to say how long i have been depressed but i only realized this very recently feels like i have been depressed most of my life with few periods of feeling okay in between i have issues relating to lack of focus and anxiety also i have spent countless days in bed just doing nothingi moved to a new country with my partner a couple of years ago and decided to pursue a masters degree because i wanted to get study something thinking i have overcome my focus issues why did i think that because i had worked for  years in a very stressful job and i was not terrible at it i was able to focus for long periods but i started having other issues in the job like not being able to fit in as a freelancer that limited the number of places i could work at to the point that i started getting anxiety thinking about work also after  years of being in that industry i had no idea how much longer i needed to reach my desired position so my future was uncertain so i packed my bags for a new future getting back to studies was not as easy as it seemed especially because the way studies are pursued here is vastly different from my education i had never done research before i had to learn to research reference and write papers for a few classes before i had to start my thesis i struggled but the focus was not an issue until the time i was struggling to learn the ropes and thats been the recurring motif of my life i get excited to learn something i learn and i lose interest rinse and repeat only thing is i had and still have a thesis to write i have been at it now for a little over  years with an extension with little progress every i try to get myself motivated i sit in front of a computer and i draw a black i came into the university  hours ago and again today i have not been able to concentrate  as an international student it is very expensive for me to get extensions  times the amount a local has to pay i am here with a partner and i feel i am just dragging her along my brothers helped me with the fees and i cannot be asking for another extension because i will have to ask my brothers for the money again i am  restarting my life and still see an end to this i am not suicidal but i am getting desperate mentally i know i need to seek professional help but as finances are tight it is difficult i am very aware of the consequences and every night when i go to sleep next to my partner i feel guilty of not being able to give her a stable life she has supported me in every way for more than a decade now and i dont want to let her down anymore i just feel stuck in a loop something like  where i am just wasting away the days weeks months and years i dont want to keep floating through life like this i want to do a lot of things achievements dont matter to me my deadline is literally in three weeks i wouldnt mind practical advisemethods to focus or write as i said i am desperate i will seek professional help once i have cleared this hurdle,3.0
21424,tr suranie  will definitely keep her in my thoughts    im sure she is fine,0.0
21425,i just got back to school and the first thing i thought about was suicide god i feel like high school is ripping me apart and im starting to see how worthless the reality of life is i have no friends after  but still stick around them like some transparent eyeball thats there but nobody notices just being there makes me dread it all the work and the lack of people hurts me inside theres nothing to numb the lack of purpose or adventure in life i want to feel something real to feel something straight out of a fucking disney movie i want that but after experiencing this shithole i know there is little in reality that will i either stay at home and try to feel okay but eventually rot or go do the hellhole called education and work that society brands into our life some people might read this they probably wont care i dont expect people to understand anyways,3.0
21426,going to watch a gay movie ,0.0
21427,garts not going just yet ,0.0
21428,the count down  days left in europe ,2.0
21429,some ppl never know when to give up lol i dont know ppl should levae me alone right now aaahhhhh lol ,0.0
21430,my bf isnt feeling well  i hope he gets better,2.0
21431,who ever thought of twitter ,0.0
21432, well when you are doing something all week its ok to slack towards the end of the week ,0.0
21433,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
21434,ha thats funny ,0.0
21435,when you got no friends lol when youre lonely and got no friends suicidal and depressed whats not to love about it,3.0
21436, good knight ,0.0
21437,casanovajsandy i take that as a definite yes then  huggles,2.0
21438,bkmacdaddy noi havent read all  but its definitely on my to do list ,0.0
21439,spahlane nooo  i was looking forward to you cominngg,2.0
21440,so much for my sleep in just got woken up going to try and go back to bed going to the movies today ,0.0
21441,im seriously not okay im really struggling hard right now thing after thing has piled up not even all bad but i just cant take it i was abused in many ways throughout my childhood and early teens that was the last time things were this bad and my brain wants to go back so i know how to cope i dont know how to cope outside of those situations because they were my normal for so long and i havent been safe for that long all i want is to feel okay right now atleast as okay as i usually do mental illness has been over taking me for a month and im not fucking okay this is the worst spiral ive had in atleast  years,3.0
21442,glorious sunny morning  just the right sort of day to go hear sts instructor tony share quotthe stormquot story in church today ,0.0
21443,loving this stormy weather cuddling up in bed with matt ,0.0
21444,ill catch you at the very last second ,0.0
21445,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
21446, i kno righti was kinda mad about that too ,2.0
21447,karinemtl summertime ,0.0
21448,redfrettchen i wish i had a cool anagram but i dont boring ,2.0
21449, sorry i missed the swimming i was in the er ,2.0
21450,is it true that you cant swim right after you eat or is that just a myth i wanna get back in the pool ,2.0
21451,bthenextstep lol gmornin sean just keep up the good work  ,0.0
21452,slightly procrastinating over the spoof email sent apparently from my hotmail ac what a drag ,2.0
21453,cant go to pias tonight ,2.0
21454,cattysheba hehe  its a nice way to make my language a bit better  its fun  and its a great way to make friends ,0.0
21455,bitburgerlover all part of the service ,0.0
21456,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
21457,im laughing and smiling so much hypnophil has had to go and put the laptop on to see what hes missing   hes such a sweetheart,0.0
21458,my brothers sick ,2.0
21459,global warming will raise suicide rates ,1.0
21460,pește viu cu traume incluse în preț  httpbitlyipobd,0.0
21461,natashaannmarie aww thats right ,2.0
21462,sydnerenee yup yup   check out matunescom id  love to feature you in it,0.0
21463,i have enough selfawareness to know what needs to get done but not enough desirewillpower to actually get it done i think a good way to describe depression is simply selfawareness  no desire  depressioni always know what i have to get done in order to be accomplished and succeed but am always held back by the innervoice in my head telling me i will fail i do not enjoy this and now i have to get up in  hours rip me ,3.0
21464,doesnt want to go home ,2.0
21465,i dont know if im depressed and i cant stop feeling sorry for myself  ive never been diagnosed so i cant say what i have but ive always gone to bouts of wanting to just disappear i start searching the internet for ways and ive been doing this for  ½ years now but im still here its just i get this feeling of hopelessness but also i just cant tell anyone idk why but i cant i know my parents love me but i just feel like im a failure and a disappointed no one wants there kid to be depressed also my brother has been diagnosed with depression but he had a traumatic experience at a young age nothing has happened to me but yet here i am wallowing in self pity im mean can you imagine being a parent that has two depressed kids this wont help my mom since she already has ptsd from undergoing treatment from cancer and my dad says that i have nothing to be depressed about because he compares it to his sisters experience shes had it bad and i think about a time when i was like  and telling my parents they deserved a better daughter than me because i was rude and they told me  i wasnt pitying them but instead i was pitying myself and that has stuck to me i am known by all my family to be dramatic and irritable so it feels like this is just another one of those moments where im being dramatic i also hate how throughout months my overall mood changes i can go from a genuinely nice person playing with my younger siblings baking for my family having fun with everyone to being disinterested in everything but still bring optimistic to just bring irritated rude malicious and wanting to be alone i tend to cry a lot i mean im crying right now i just feel so helpless it just feels like everyone in my family has a right to be depressed except me and i just acting so i feel like i fit in i literally had a meltdown because i couldnt find my uniform for work tomorrow ofc it was a build up of other crappy things that happened this week it just feel like these few bad days have turned into weeks and i fear theyll turn into months im just so tired and desperate,3.0
21466,taswell could you give info about the shirts sizes i dont know to buy l or m ,2.0
21467,check out my blog httpehrknolblogspotcom ,0.0
21468,irritability as a symptom of depression something that has been controlling my  life recently is extreme irritability i find it nearly impossible to share a space with dear friends people i once truly enjoyed  now every little thing they do drives me crazy i avoid leaving my room in my shared apartment  other girls if i hear other people out of their rooms because i just want to avoid social engagement at all costs even though theyve done nothing wrong my mom came to visit me and the irritability with her was intense i feel so shameful and guilty because i love her and really wanted to treat her well like she deserves but felt so on edge and angryirritable i have a long distance partner and i really rely on him and feel like hes the only person i ever want to talk to but i even have a short fuse with him and get very frustrated over things he cant even control like poor sound quality during our phone calls my mom has suffered from clinical depression since she was a teenager and when she visited me on the very first day before i even became visibly irritable she mentioned that she always knows shes entered a depressive episode by experiencing intense irritability im wondering if anyone else here struggles with that its challenging because when i think of depression i think of inability to get out of bed suicidal tendencies prolonged feelings of hopelessness etc i dont suffer from these other symptoms in a way that interferes with carrying out my daily life but the irritability is unbearable and is damaging my relationships and making me feel really guilty and confused,3.0
21469,frankiethesats comiserations on the iphone dunk  hope it dries out and works lol ,2.0
21470,got joe meyers comic quotin the meantimequot today lulu stuff comes out really nicely shall read shortly ,0.0
21471,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
21472,harrywilly no prob  i checked to see if misspellings were legitimate babealerts before i mentioned it  just happy  the love  ,0.0
21473,i wish my family didnt love me sometimes i wish my family didnt love me if they didnt i wouldnt feel compelled to live out the rest of my life to try and pursue happiness and belonging when i know im incapable of reaching others if they didnt love me i wouldnt feel compelled to hide how pathetic i am how nervous i am how unhappy i am how much i long for intimacy but know that i can never achieve itif it werent for them no one miss me my job at the library could be filled with a minimum of fuss i have no friends no girlfriend etc etc,3.0
21474,presenting today i hope i dont choke up their ,2.0
21475,   no hurry,0.0
21476,why is it the day i finally get to go to the beach and its all grey outside ,2.0
21477,rosemarycnn  teach us how ugly the war is lets make the world the coolest place to live play and also tweet ,0.0
21478,terriblelouie damn you already stood me up ,2.0
21479,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
21480,in need of  new knees mine have cracked the shits in the cold ,2.0
21481,cupidgoesrawr no ur not cupid ,2.0
21482,today i really fucked up i really fucked up this day i was absent from my universitys final test because i didnt wake up even though i already set up many alarm i woke up at  when the final is in  i really fucked up this combined with my unstable mental state and my family and my peers upcoming scorn already making me wanting to commit suicide so good bye i suppose you wont see me again after tomorrow because i will either hang myself or jump from the eighth floor of my universitys building,3.0
21483,xxxsteviexxx lucky it has the best shoppin place ever ,0.0
21484,how do you tell your friends you want to die without feeling guilty im  so the whole i wanna die is mostly met with lmao samei feel like i need someone who i can just tell this stuff to but whenever i do i feel like im just burdening everyone elseive been told repeatedly that im not but considering that they probably know id off myself if they said i was they could easily just be lyingmost of my friends also have mental health issues so i am constantly worried about triggeringupsetting them if i talk about my problems any,3.0
21485,billironside me but i dont know my account number ,2.0
21486,lovely sunny day in fife today shame i am working ,2.0
21487,chemicalbullets sorry i dont know the word for barbecue ,2.0
21488, update delayed till thursday ,2.0
21489,when you constantly worry about the future you cannot possibly enjoy your now  fear depression anxiety growth,2.0
21490,i think i need help but im scared i dont think i actually have depression but something isnt right for sure  maybe its bc im a teenager i dont knwo if i should seek helpi have break downs nearly every day when im alone and i dont know why i used to have panics attacks and to be really anxious with people around me but somewhat it does not happen much anymore i feel empty and want to disappear for a while and just watch people living but i cant im  i dont have money and there is also school i cant give up everything just bc i cant handle things right  but at the same time im tired like really tired im exausted i dont want to try anymore i thought about hurting myself and sometimes killing myself but i wont at least not for now im scared to hurt others  people think im weird and i can see it i dont know how to express my feelings or even understand them meanwhile im really sensitive i also dont know how to organized my thoughts and that translate in the way i speak my sentences are often rambling i also dont feel like myself with people and often think what am i even doing i also would like to know if you ever felt like slowly drowning when youre alone in your thoughts or like youre watching yourself from a distance and sometimes that time flows really fast but also really slow at the same time im really sorry if somethings are not correctly said english isnt my native language ,3.0
21491,beautiful day and have to put in a days work ,2.0
21492,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
21493,followfollow ,0.0
21494,i havent left the house ,2.0
21495,  jillianferencz and i working on our tans ,0.0
21496,tracecyrus well you should be excited d all youre gonna see is trees but whatever ,0.0
21497,my and my sister are awesome oprah bring us on ,0.0
21498,next week ninong will adopt brownie and kuya jeff will adopt riri problem solved but its really hard for me to give them away ,2.0
21499, gnight paula  have a sensational sunday my friend ,0.0
21500,work changes huge change at work today is making hard not to quit and run i get it i am fortunate enough to have a job that lets me work from home but the stress is about to ramp up and i am not sure i can handle it i really wish things could just be stable for a while,3.0
21501,i dont really feel anything anymore im not used to talking about myself in any capacity so this might be a little difficult for me the gist of it is that i just dont feel anything anymore and i honestly dont remember the last time i didall day everyday i feel totally empty my brain is empty of any real thoughts my heart is empty of any real feelings i barely even feel hungry lately i barely even exist i dont speak out loud unless i have to i only speak to one other person online because of these problems expressing myself i cant connect to anyone else im painfully uninterestingtheres no joy in the hobby i still force myself to practice i see myself getting better at it bit by bit but theres no pride in it at worst i feel annoyed that im spending so much time on something thats totally pointlesstheres nothing inside me anymore nothingi dont know why im posting really maybe i just want someone else to know whats going on with me even if none of you know me personally maybe not knowing any of you is making it easier,3.0
21502,really wants something to look forward to  history exam on mondayy doesnt really cut it ,2.0
21503,today is my birthday like the title says today is my birthday and when i got reminded of it through emails sent by companies i dont remember the name of wishing me happy birthday and my parents singing me happy birthday through a video sent on messenger i just broke down stood in the shower crying noticing a regular thought pattern creeping back in after years of telling myself that i was fine cured of it but i guess i was just lying to myself i have just lived in a dreamworld for years now distracting myself so that the past me that i thought was gone wouldnt come back with all that entails i should probably start talking to a therapist again although i dont know if that will help i know what my problem is its loneliness something that only connectedness can heal connecting to another human being through friendship and love but those things feel so very distant i dont know if i will ever reach them   i dont know what to expect by posting this i think i just wanted to write my thoughts down and send them out into the ether this feels stupid life is stupid,3.0
21504,jakeinbake lol lame sorry but id laugh really hard if you lost a bunch of followers now ,0.0
21505, croatia diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder together with anxiety and depression what is the point of living like this i just realized i am stuck in a vicious cycle my selfdestructive mind keeps throwing me down back in november i got hospitalised into a psychiatric hospital due to severe depression and anxiety that drove me to alnost killing myself by jumping off a building its been three months now since i left the hospital and even though i have been put on antidepressant antipsychotic and xanax i am having a really hard time living with irrational fears all the time that seem to just be an eternal part of me i just got a full time job two weeks ago and now i cant stop fearing not being able to hold that job due to my mental issues and im also afraid my coworkers will notice there is something seriously wrong with me since i behave in ways i am not aware of sometimes i am also super antisocial  to the point i am avoiding to have any social interactions with anyone i see wants to make friends with me ive been like this since late high school where i got bullied every day for being a nonbinary gay man and where i felt my life is being threatened every day and i even got verbally attacked a couple of times as a teenager i very well remember those days i am now at the point in my life where i just cant stop fantasizing about suicide but i just very well aware of the consequences of my suicide on my mother i am completely separate from reality i live in and i see people as objects lacking empathy and feelings i used to write sing and produce music but the medication seems to be killing my creativity i feel empty and sad at the same time without a goal totally aimless and all im thinking about is how im gonna kill myself as soon as my mother dies i have no friends and all the people who i met in my life and who ive talked with about my issues were the toxic positivity kind of people who were telling me to get over it be positive stop worrying good vibes only etc they would leave me as soon as they realized i have issues give me atleast one reason to keep on living atleast one,3.0
21506,im seriously desperate  im so sad  but i wouldnt let a tear drop ,2.0
21507,playing card games with  year olds ,0.0
21508,id love  work w kol heard great things  tomlawrence cardinmckinney thought it might be you like ur kearney wayne amp wertz vids,0.0
21509,peterfacinelli that is soooo right haha ,0.0
21510,i want to go to los angeles ,2.0
21511,pingpingss yeah woohoo  well after sampras left the scene federer came and filled in the gap nicely plus i love his hair haha,0.0
21512,need somebody to talk to feeling worse everyday and talking about it gives me anxiety so sorry for my bad writing cutting doesnt feel as good as it used to and the thoughts of suicide are becoming more frequent the more i think about it the more confident i am in going through with it i think im going to attempt suicide this friday while everybody is gone but im still on the fence about it just looking for a distraction to make the thoughts go away,3.0
21513,have to go to work again  so tired today,2.0
21514,follow dremurphyespecially friends of djmcedes ,0.0
21515,tomorrows my birthday tomorrows my birthday i turn  but i feel so empty right now im typing this as im lying on my bed feeling bored depressed and alone ive been suffering from depression here and there but its gotten a lot worse ever since my spring break and then during this quarantine situation the root of most of it comes from  years ago when i was in  grade i had serious anxiety issues which i still have but to a lesser extent and basically i was taken advantage of by my friends and they bullied me and used me as a scapegoat to the point where i begged my parents to switch schools once i started high school at first i thought that i can just go to a catholic school but my dad said i should try to go to a private school so i did and ive been attending it for  years now but my dad keeps shoving the fact that he has to pay for the tuition in my face im scared to ask my dad for anything even if its going to a friends house because hell always call me spoiled as if im entitled to everything and hell say stuff like you know i pay  per year for your school right he makes me feel like its my fault for wanting to pursue a better education and more importantly for wanting to get real friends im scared to even ask for money if i want to go out because my dad will always scold me also he has serious anger issuesone time he hit my mom and the cops came and he almost got arrestedso i always feel like my mental health is deteriorating whenever hes yelling at me or whenever hes angry at me i stopped talking to him completely these past couple of weeks because i realized that my dad is the problem for my depression because of that i wont be surprised if i dont get birthday wishes from him but honestly that is the least of my worries because my dad constantly reminds me of how much of a failure i am i suffer from serious depression and its even affecting my social skills the reason why is because i truly have no one to talk to i have one best friend who i tell basically everything but the thing is ive been depressed many times before but i didnt realize that it was because of my dad until now and sometimes i would tell him why but he wouldnt understand my problems i even told him that sometimes i want to commit suicide but hed just simply say bro just think about your friends and family as if that would magically cure my sadness i dont blame him for not understanding because its hard to put yourself in someones shoes but the thing is no one understands my pain i was sad for the same reason about a month ago and i remember people would come up to me and say whats wrong but i had to either say that im fine or say nothing because they couldnt help me i know you might be thinking that thats rude or that i shouldnt assume anything but i also have trouble expressing my emotions to people because ive had to hide my depression for years now thats why i kind of like this quarantine thing because i have all these people in my life but in reality im used to being alone but still i have no one to talk to and that is why im typing this here because i feel that i need to get this off of my chest i try to cycle through anime video games and music to help me feel alright but deep down i still feel sadness i dont want to be depressed right before my birthday but i cant help myself and i cant do anything either because im such a burden ive decided to tell my friends and family to get me nothing for my birthday not even a cake my birthday is the least of worriessorry if i typed too much but id really appreciate if someone could just hear my story and help me someone please tell me this am i in the wrong is my dad right sometimes i just cry because i cant let myself go from the control that my dad has im so troubled but i dont know what to do i would kill myself but i couldnt leave my brother mom my dog and my friends but i just wish that i had a better lifeif you read all of this thank you,3.0
21516,georgia williams is sleepy because of the weather and going to miss sarah  ,2.0
21517,first time i didnt want the school year to end solely to keep mrs s here ,2.0
21518,i have just returned from hell of a day spent in er as a caretaker or was it a just nightmareresult a fractured femur ,2.0
21519,mobimom quick call national geographic  glad the rain is over  hasnt hit here yet but its vewy gray,0.0
21520,just waved my sister amp the little ones off to new zealand forever weird and unbearably sad ,2.0
21521,chin up im playing at hugos tonight lonsdale road   nr queens park from  with the bob stuckey band ,0.0
21522,lifes so good ,0.0
21523,my eyes hurt so much and i dont know whyyyy ,2.0
21524,had a great birthday yesterdaypeaceful and received many good wishesi am so loved ,0.0
21525,mom doesnt want me to go with her at the mall its always my sister ,2.0
21526,rt cherjoyc if korean showbiz is like in the philippine showbiz that loveteam will stay longer but it sad that it ended already and it,0.0
21527,waiting to see which app is messing up m phone ,2.0
21528,lizzietick by the way i cant believe that youre going to see star trek before me  have fun,2.0
21529,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
21530,niptuck got cancelled ,2.0
21531,nice new proj at work ride on ,0.0
21532,i mean i thought i was supposed to be like excited and happy at this point not stressed ,2.0
21533,high school to dream of being in high school represents anxiety or concerns you have in regards to gaining power ,1.0
21534,should i just end it at   this post was originally intended for rforeveralone but this throwaway hasnt got enough karmai get im younger at  than a lot of you here but i think im currently falling down the same path a lot of you are after leaving high school at  and moving to one where i know no one my life has fell down the shitter all of my old friends who may aswell be people who i met over the internet at this pointare doing their best to oust me and cut me off leaving me with no friends im not an incel and i dont subscribe to their retarded world view but its not like everything they say is wrong if you are extremely unattractive like me there is no hope for you not just romantically but generally in life people see you as weak and a freak and you will be either bullied at a young age or as you get older generally left alone and ignored i go through routines of motivational bullshit where i try and turn my life around and start to believe in stupid shit like nofap or loa out of desperation but inevtiably i give up and always fail the more i reflect i realise that im probably fucked from the get go my grades are piss poor im unnattractive im socially awkward and im lonely i have one last chance and thats university but many of you seem to say that the promise of change there is a lie aswell maybe instead of becoming a sad sack of shit and being my parents disgrace i should just get a rope and end it,3.0
21535,ashrockjones in the process of figuring out when to come to la hopefully in july amp yes girl all of my students are mexican ,0.0
21536,headache ,2.0
21537,mollieofficial good luck and have a minto time ,0.0
21538, a really difficult time dealing with social interaction i feel like they can see that im down and seemingly want to make me feel worse i know we all feel like people dont like us sometimes but lately ive realized it feels like everyone doesnt like me or is actively trying to cut me down it takes a great deal of energy every single day to go to work and smile and be kind and banter ive told one coworker of my feelings recently and he was extremely surprised saying im one of the calmest happiest people he knows and then i come home to my boyfriend and even though he is an incredible guy it feels like hes doing the same thing judging me and calling me out he isnt though i know this has a lot to do with how i was raised and the kind of talk i was used to does anyone have tips on how to improve my social energy honestly my current method isnt healthy all i ever crave when i get home from work or the gym or family events is a good big meal and then to knock myself into a food slumber tldr social interaction is wearing me extremely thin and i often feel as if those around me are trying to hurt me even if i know deep down most of them are not,3.0
21539,when i have the opportunity to liein i cant sleep when i have to get up i could carry on sleeping for hours ,2.0
21540,just had a shower now watchin sum crap on tv ,2.0
21541, question what kinda help you need  im willing to help all the way from alaska,0.0
21542, really khen ,2.0
21543,goldman sachs has engineered every major market manipulation since the great depressiontheyre about to do it again ,2.0
21544,suicide seems so comforting finally my constant panic attacks throughout my work day will cease to exist ill finally stop caring about guitar being my only redeeming quality even though im shit at that ill finally be able to stop thinking ill finally be able to rest suicide has stopped being something sad for me over the years and now seems like the warm bed i am forced to leave every morning i have always been fairly confident my life will end with suicide i just havent been able to actually set it in motion people care for me but they dont actually know me they only know the preset i click into when i talk to them every person gets their preset so they can enjoy that version of me no way to end this post either apparently so end post — ,3.0
21545,on some dumb stuff like one of them replaceable cogs that if it falls out the process still keeps going on no change to it as a result of me falling out you know this a terrible metaphor or analogy but im gonna assume the points gotten actually maybe its more akin to some inferior alien that dont deserve to be around humans idk i just feel like im on some worthless shit like i cant even fucking talk with people like im on some different wave than them and all i can do is muster up some small talk through saying some weird ass shit that make them go what or you really are dumb obviously the second one aint serious but im not surprised if they think im dumb shit even i think im dumb but i guess what im trying to say is like i dont ever get to talk or have a conversation whether it be through person or text hell i dont even get any texts because im on some hermit shit because i dont wanna text to only receive some one word reply cause i know theyre not interested in what im saying or want to talk to me at all and thats fine no disrespect towards any of them cause i believe freedom of choice and everybody deserve some chance to do what hell if i was someone else i probably wouldnt hang out with me either but still you know it hurts cause like i envy that shit like i want to be able to have conversations face to face or through text or whatever that can be used instead of the stupid ass small talk through saying weird shit that ill be doing shit what probably makes this hurt even more to me is that i cant event talk with my own family and ive tried having like i really have tried but i cant like they dont want to and no disrespect towards them seriously dont want to hear any disrespect towards them cause i love them but like its just im on no i am pathetic im scared of talking online i dont even really know how i know how to make statements make comments make opinions ask questions online but i cant even fucking talk online like thats really on some pussy ass shit for me if any of yall feel that i just want you to know youre not a pussy or pathetic it just only applies towards me but like im just in or on or whatever the fuck thats gotta do with some different wave type shit when talking whether face to face through text or online and like me just failing at it just makes me believe that maybe i am some inferior alien that shouldnt exist among humans you know what im saying i really envy people who got close friends people who got friends hell even people who got aquaintances i cant love myself after seeing myself like for who i am and im not saying anything bout that subject cause i dont wanna approach it but i do think i dont deserve to exist and if given the option to not exist then id take that shit honestly i think this is my truth that im just some ugly worthless inferior alien type thing,3.0
21546,lost someone who was important to me and started felling depressive i am curious to know why someone would help me here but lets go i used to be a very happy and pleasant person at some point i became a negative person and a little depressive i believe that due to the death of my grandmother she always took care of me and i only realized how important she was when i lost her because of this i think i felt guilty and started to see things more negatively after that everything started to get worse in my life even when i feel im happy its for a brief moment i do not know if it is part of growing up and getting older or if i have some kind of problem so i wanted some help even if it was words or situations where someone also lost an important person and somehow managed to continue to live,3.0
21547,johnbernos seriously dude lets get jobs back at disneyland i mean we can still be with rd too if were seasonal right ,0.0
21548,tooory the man in the book im reading is trying to nap but hes just weeping ,2.0
21549,time to put on my sailin shoes  brb x,0.0
21550, pk ,2.0
21551,just got back from my mothers storei went to replace he for a while this morning now im going to lunchalone  lol,2.0
21552,nathanwhelan im so excited fordreading your last finer things club meeting ,2.0
21553,officialrmc wooow  okay i tell ,0.0
21554,tiiirrreeeddbut still have stuff to do ,2.0
21555,i love coffee ,0.0
21556,rt salmadey sad but true ,2.0
21557,rip off dampb from   add rave era pianostab  put over house beat  hit electro single lol  rinse repeaoh shit  ,2.0
21558,are there online videos courses etc to cope up with depression and anxiety there are many books but i was hoping if there are similar but in videos,3.0
21559,rt virgoanomaly sagittarius women  mean asses super family oriented anger issues complainers love hard but have big territorial is,1.0
21560,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
21561,cardi b turned me from a sad b to a bad b in  seconds 🤩,2.0
21562, u so have neglected me wifey ,2.0
21563,harveylevintmz you look like that guy on quota night at the roxburyquot the little one  aha,0.0
21564,kessiewashere  days seems like  years right now ,2.0
21565,progscape i head out to see st at an imax in a couple of hours too ,0.0
21566,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
21567,sinaamedson and wasnt sure if i was gonna get off or not but thankfully i did however she scheduled me to open sunday ,2.0
21568,i hate that the house im in has increasinglymorebroken internet feel slightly crippled ,2.0
21569,beingnobody at least you got your new one  im poor,2.0
21570,me and ari are bored what should we do suggestions are welcome ,0.0
21571,it be like that huh 🌚,0.0
21572,eleonor thanks sorry i didnt see your reply earlier my twitter attention has been a little off recently going outside for a change ,0.0
21573,failed attempt at booting to a flash drive then failed attempt at switching a production site to a new db engine evening is  for  ,2.0
21574,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
21575,ariaajaeger gmorning  just caffeinating mahself here hows your friday going ,0.0
21576, awe charlotte i hope i spelled her name right ,0.0
21577,does anyone else thinks that the wolf effect in the new moon trailer was bad ,2.0
21578,thai tea ,0.0
21579, ahhh according to people jon and kate filed for divorce ,2.0
21580,lilyroseallen ur greatur new album is fckin class i love whod have known the bestu cn totalli tell ur smiling in it  xx,0.0
21581,would love to go outside but stuck doing homework  cant wait for tomorrow night,2.0
21582,finished watching rosy business  great series congrats to the cast amp production team,0.0
21583,boring rainy day alone in paris ,2.0
21584,still on a high  damn you sugar,0.0
21585,brewstermax great but not as practical as it is on an iphone though ,0.0
21586,ccstarr latest post is a little weak but i hope the general point comes across ,0.0
21587,cycle my depression feels like a vicious cycle that will never break like its a terminal illness that i cannot shake i feel happy one day then the next im depressed again which makes the happy day to be worthless im tired of this cycle i call depression,3.0
21588,nw i knw what ill eat  lunch bt certainly ill control my shopping urgeand hpefully start working on some accs designs laterttyl ,0.0
21589,was at the hospital this morning with my brother now time for work ,2.0
21590,i look like a dude without makeup  but its ok ill get over  httpbctinycompokwx,0.0
21591,i just hate my life i hate my existence i hate my shit job i hate having nothing and being no one i hate never sleeping because the voices in my head scream that i am never good enough i hate that i do nothing with my time except beat off smoke and scroll aimlessly through reddit i hate all the godawful cringey things i do and say on a daily basis i hate my facemy life isnt worth living id rather have death,3.0
21592,desktop profile wiped again  icons everywhere ,2.0
21593,good morning world you have been very good to me today ,0.0
21594,nutpain i dont think it would burn as much as ahem apple juice ,0.0
21595,sat at weatherspoon pub gatwick wondering where nearest spazz loo is that handle my crippling load ,2.0
21596, good morning peoplee  looks like its going to be a nice day today better than last week it was raining ,0.0
21597,have hurt my lower back and am now house bound  however visiting the doctor tomorrow for help,2.0
21598,meredi i hope they dont treat your hair the way they treat their website ,0.0
21599,shit my seat has an actual outlet not the special plane outletand of course i only brought the plane adapter ,2.0
21600,thousands of  mothers left to cope alone with mental illness ,2.0
21601,chriscorrell speaking of which im watching the awards again right now as we speak but i still cant get my hands on the trailer ,2.0
21602,every bite of caramel i get is one second less of depression,2.0
21603,im not feeling great health wise ,2.0
21604,justinherman that sounds like a slumber party ,0.0
21605,see my latest post the  of depression  blogging to help endthestigma suicide ,0.0
21606,its gonna thunder storm on me ,2.0
21607,meganrebecca have you been to purple turtle in camden before im heading there friday was wondering what its like  x,0.0
21608,runkerrierun  sadly aspartame sweetener is a neurotoxin and i have  nerve disease more on my site full sugar or nothing  nothing ,2.0
21609,i work in a psych hospital so i work in a psychiatric facility for children and teens i lead rehabilitation groups over topics such as stress management anger management coping skills self care feelings awareness and a bunch of other stuff however im always looking for ways to improve my groups so that they are actually helpful many of the patients suffer from depression and other mental health issues i would love to hear input from those who have experience with mental illness what is the most helpful thing i can do or say to reach these individuals what kind of support do you wish you had has anyone ever done or said anything that helped you and what was it or perhaps what are things you have done that was helpful  thank you,3.0
21610,switchskier pretty wish it would stop raining here ,2.0
21611,chris is gonna fight a cat for his pizza ,0.0
21612,so many tears during up ,2.0
21613,is watching dawn of the dead ,0.0
21614,anthonymarkus hey ur girl high key holla at me tonite  lmao,0.0
21615,home from work i miss my kids already ,2.0
21616,skygel i thought july  ohwell whenever im so gonna watch it i am so excited ,0.0
21617,asheruk i gotta promote my artist    u should follow more people so it wouldnt look so bad on me,2.0
21618,xseniz oh i love that show ,0.0
21619,spitphyre  we inditweeple will miss ya babebut you rock on gurl keep at it  ,0.0
21620,gray skys the sky has changedbut so have youit started with gray and then changed to blueyou brought light to my lifepink orange purple and red you left sweet words dancing in my head but just like the sky you became darkand left an unfixable hole in my heart it started out small like when a storm rolls inand then all of it was here and i dont know where to beginyou poured your soul to me like when the rain crashes downbut still you never found a reason to frowni stayed by your side as the storms crashed through but soon even i didnt know what to dobecause nothing could prepare me for the lose of youthe sadness came and went like waves in an angry seabut i was fine i told myself because it was just meso back to gray the sky goes because youre gone and i hate that the most,3.0
21621,everyone liked my chocolate bday cake i made for dinner ,0.0
21622, worth a follow  anyone i follow  and im trying to block ohfwivqhbjfq uh youll see why,0.0
21623,makeupgeek oh i cant wait to see your video on hooded eyesi always have to extend my makeup almost to my brow to make it visible ,2.0
21624,gashiya  the  of us r here for u always xox,2.0
21625,a bit feverish but my day job doesnt allow me to have another day off ,2.0
21626,ryaneatsbabies i feel your pain im an insomniac and i found that out in my psychology class  poor you,2.0
21627,rt carriehyndsld keep up the excellent work on challenging mental health stigma willyoung  jkrowling realdenisewelch docto,1.0
21628,drrus oh ya no easy start for either me or molsonfl ,2.0
21629,youngq i told you we will go thru a  step tweeting program ,0.0
21630,rssoto cool not sure if it will work as i dont have it myself but you can try ,0.0
21631,deealmanza me too let me see if i can send them ill send a pic for now ,0.0
21632,why does everyone sing playback at the comet ,2.0
21633,itsgravybaby  makes me sad that a family falling apart is so entertaining for the masses,2.0
21634,the dog ate my homework   no   make that one of my papier mache works   grrrr,2.0
21635,i feel like the odd one out all of my friends not friends anymore are doing so well at life even in this horrible town i live in i feel like im the only one that seems to be going in a downward spiral and i cant do anything about it i lay at home all day playing video games to take me to a different world where id rather be i want to get out of here one way or another  ,3.0
21636,sitting in my hotel room in denver waiting for my love to come sweep me away to lunch ,0.0
21637,trentarmitage thank you for feeding me today ,0.0
21638,clarissasays lol thanks  ,0.0
21639,what i hate i hate that sadness is more comfortable than joy,3.0
21640,help i started my third year of secondary school this year been doing fine for the past  years my routine has been pretty consistent wake up go to school go home i have  good friends i talk too but i only talk to them in school conversations after school hours are far and few in between its like after i get home i turn into a completely different person i become extremely reclusive and only talk to people over the internet discord csgo servers etc i got diagnosed with high functioning autism just last year which explains much of social ineptitude but because i seclude myself for prolonged periods at a time i feel weird i feel nothing but yet somethings there malaise is the proper word i believeso thats me i dont know what to do anymorelife to me has no meaningis this normaldo i have a problemshould i go see a councillorshould i continue like thisshould i end my life,3.0
21641,ashleytisdale   gosh  its scary  but all hotels in paris are not like this hotel  ,0.0
21642,tommcfly have fun while listening d can we expect a concert in germany pleaase reply ,0.0
21643,indianna jones marathon watched every movie yes even the lame  once except for temple of doom maybe tomorrow night tweets ,0.0
21644,rt bbylychee my depression and my anxiety ganging up on me while im out trying to have a good time ,2.0
21645,nikicheong the only way ive done it is the manual way  all the best,2.0
21646,using flash to make my new video ,0.0
21647,what i hate when random strangers come up  u and just start saying all these insults or just come up  u and kick u ,2.0
21648,wishes she could go to brians golf hhc tournie ,2.0
21649,just saw quotthe taking of penham     intense movie well worth seeing ,0.0
21650,cox last week yep house was recently set up so transfer should be easy cox today there was no drop so we have to reschedule ,2.0
21651,      thanks to all the haters up in my face all day ,0.0
21652,i dont have shoes on ,0.0
21653,seeing mitchelmusso with  on july  in chicago  cannnnot wait,0.0
21654,rip genevieve and earl ,2.0
21655,ace is in the house  were watching my girl this is gotta be a lot of fun she bought me cracklings too hihi ,0.0
21656,khanserai maybe they quotknowquot that women will be better drivers ,0.0
21657,naveenkr paisa paisa paisa  i dont even care about it anymore,2.0
21658, hmm good point anything with doc in it though regardless of story id happily watch ,0.0
21659, i just wanted to thank you for that and you put on an amazing show i still love your quotriskyquot dress with the zipper ,0.0
21660,common sense puttin   together and then trustin the results save u a lot of stress,1.0
21661,i wish i could be in california right now no money no candy  blahhh nice weather mother nature  bitch,2.0
21662,thelonely perfect song ,0.0
21663,little lana and me  i love this kid ,0.0
21664,down to  in the lowball event i have close to average with  good ,0.0
21665, just singing to the radio  ,0.0
21666,iced coffee  heaven ,0.0
21667,repo the genetic opera редко�тный треш угар про�матривал�� � друзь�ми  редко�тный бред но httptinyurlcommzryrl,0.0
21668,munkimatt sure  but what abt the facebook friending hannamanna should we push for that,0.0
21669, couldnt but agree re the dancing of greece  something out of  with the biceps of now ,0.0
21670,  pedicure  my piggies are in heaven,0.0
21671,jabballer wala ngang proven these past few days eh ,2.0
21672,good day today out door totally prepared early sun shining and salsa tonight o and listening to close to me ,0.0
21673,thinks chode should put last nights pictures up ,0.0
21674,good afternoon twitterland   ive been working around my house doing some spring cleaning  it needs it  time to make more coffee,0.0
21675,do you know enrique iglesias ,0.0
21676,arggg how much have i slept today ,2.0
21677,title i just listened to addict with a pen by twenty one pilots and it almost made me cry for how much i related with it you guys should listen to it,3.0
21678,joeymcintyre lol thats what i heard haha atleast u had fun ,0.0
21679,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
21680,impact of a sad movie theres a movie that i love that has greatly impacted my life in a positive way but sometimes when i think about it i get really upset and my depression worsens for a few days its really hard for me to describe how this movie makes me feel because i love it so much but it also makes me really sad i think its because the film is based on truth and knowing that causes me a lot of emotional pain for the actor whose life the movie is based upon what is a good way to appreciate and continue loving this movie without it impacting my emotions so negatively,3.0
21681,brettmirl awww lucky you  hope the weather holds up met a very drunk tipp man last night who claimed tipp will destroy us seriously,0.0
21682,  really lol jk not gonna let that go to my head,0.0
21683,hey joe is missing the party in the officeloser yay i have followers now  but home still sounds good,0.0
21684,missbushido puina same here but had no luck with the zoo gang  ,2.0
21685,volfmech totally agree with this statement the use of the word depression is thrown around so much that its re ,1.0
21686,mitchelmusso i cant i cant i cant  im sad im from venezuela,2.0
21687,how can such a good day turn into an emotional mess i went to see my grandparents in law today and was so happy ive never had grandparents and they are so welcoming and make me feel so loved i then went to my inlaws with a headache and now im feeling so emotional out of no where everything seems to be making me want to cry i know that im just exaggerating everything in my mind but it doesnt make any of the emotions less real when my husband is around his parents hes doesnt really pay much attention to me isnt lovey and isnt sensitive to what triggers me we went shopping for so long which is so hard for me because ive gained so much weight and cant even look at clothes because the stores i used to love to shop at and he shopped at doesnt carry anything close to my size he knows shopping for too long makes me feel horrible but hes just not aware of it with his parents thanks for letting me rant ,3.0
21688,is having a heroes marathon starting from episode  where i left off a few weeks ago ,0.0
21689,rustyrockets its going to be epic rusty were gonna be there too so close the sweat will drench us probably ewww amp hurrah equally  x,0.0
21690,eyezaddiction everyone is addicted to it lol ive only seen the original japanese version hehe i should watch the that one too ,0.0
21691,i dont know what to do anymore im a  year old cis gay male who has been taking bupropion  mg and escitalopram  for about  months now i used to be a junior in college but due to grades am now under one year of academic suspension and under watch of their behavioral intervention team ive experienced thoughts of suicide since sophomore year of high school these thoughts have just been getting stronger and stronger as the day goes by my current plan of suicide is via exit bag a plastic bag filled with an inert gas which is then secured over the head by either tape or rubber bands due to the lack of carbon dioxide death is relatively painless as the body does not panic the only thing holding me back from pulling the trigger is the thought of what my actions would do to my friends and family but my friends all seem to be moving on without me while im just here trapped in a downwards spiral till my inevitable death i no longer have a psychiatrist and therapist due to my suspension and have tried to contact multiple therapists and psychiatrists via psychologytoday im not a religious person and my parents do not believe in mental illness my father is mainly the big culprit of this stating that my depression springs from a lack of friends that i can tell the whole truth to and the fact that i play video games i currently am back living with my parents in a town where i dont have any friends or anyone to talk to because of this i feel like im pushing my friends away from being to clingy wanting to talk to them at all times i no longer know what to think or do not want to think or do anything im sorry for the long post but i really just need some place to ventedit i forgot to mention that i dont feel like the medication is working and am now beginning to stop taking the medicationedit edit i also forgot to mention that i work an average of  hours a week since being suspended from college under my parents,3.0
21692,when everything looks ugly its those days where everything looks ugly there is low hanging cloud cover garbage on the side of the streets buildings abandoned and falling down cars planted in front yards no dopamine in your brain everything looks drab,3.0
21693,it will be my second year that i will not be there ,2.0
21694,dylanmason haha bless be even more funny if you never noticed ooh yay taken picture ,0.0
21695,i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i hope this loses all meaning soon i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead there is no point in living i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead i wish i was dead ,3.0
21696,sazzpattinson im of for a wee jont to get my vogue of this month  ill be online in an hour or so d,0.0
21697,chebbipon aw shucks i bet he was a great man i tell you what ,0.0
21698,is down with the sickness  might not be at baseball,2.0
21699,visitmesa i have that problem every time  ,2.0
21700,sammruger mcdmiamivalley i only have  😔 guess i have to have crippling depression forever,2.0
21701,safariguide many thanks for the travel followfriday  always a pleasure to offer australian travel tips and deals ,0.0
21702,whoa its wayyyy  hot outside i miss the nice breezy days ,2.0
21703,rt schoolfession when someone says dont be anxious and your anxiety is cured ,2.0
21704,coltenviscomi i have anxiety bro,2.0
21705,sherrieshepherd  i follow only  folks some decided to follow me but  i dont expect  much interst  in a ordinary lady from canada ,2.0
21706,subreet  how are you,0.0
21707,rt kylinmichelle what an excellent and important program thank you strongblacklead and netflix for this bravo ,0.0
21708,getting a divorce my wife told me she cheated on me and wants to get a divorce things have been rough for me lately and we are remaining civil about things but since i have been suffering from depression for years this just makes it worse how can i ever get close to someone again without worrying about getting hurt,3.0
21709,im a failure im a shitty excuse for a son a brother a friend fuck im even a shitty boyfriend i cant make anyone on my life happy i know im just a burden to everyone i know i know deep down without me everyone would be happier i just want them to be happy i just want to see the girl i love smile againevery night i think of her and everyone else saying they hate mei know shes gonna dump me any day now everyone knows it my ma talks about how i broke our family apart how i make her depressed i know my dad hates my existence i know im the reason he smokes i know i deserved to be beat as a child i know its my fault i was i couldnt behave how i shouldve im the reason my brother tried to kill himself i know i am i abandoned my friends i know how they all hate me nowi never was really good in school i am barely passing in the first place my teachers think im just not applying my self i look like a loser so obviously im smart i know im an idiot i know ill never look how i want im not nessasaraly fat but ive been trying for years at best my body always looks average my face is covered in scars i know no one could ever physically find me attractivei should just die at this point me living is just a burden on everyone else maybe if i end my life then everyone i care about can finally be happy ,3.0
21710,everything sucks i cant be happy pretty sure my girlfriend is cheating on me and ive wasted the last two years of my life with someone whod throw it away in a month i dont want to do anything stupid but i have no idea what to do i know i need to talk to her but im so scared of losing what i had ,3.0
21711,lakers stu lantz is awesome i miss chick hearn tho ,2.0
21712,the same thing for days weeks and months i have some good days sometimes and i believe itll get better and then those thoughts are smashed and eviscerated when all the pain and hurt begins to resurface i go back to living with the same feelings youve felt for what i seems to be an eternity im getting tired and i have no energy left to do anything therapy is having this same effect better for the day and then i revert back seems like im just stuck like this,3.0
21713,today is birthday today is my birthday i dont have any plans my mother wants to celebrate im sure my father and brother do too but i dont want to do anything if nothing is better i dont want a special dinner a cake anyone singing to mebut i really do i want all of those things but i want them with happiness not these feelings of sadness loss hopelessness regret frustration and fearim in my  i lost the last good job i had a couple years ago i struggle with money despite a high education student debt is severe other debts are severe im tired so many opportunities professional or personal  have left me disappointed i get so excited and certain things are going to get better then they dontin the past week i lost a relationship that means everything to me i love this person but treated her very badly shes the best person ive ever met i dont know whats wrong with me i dont know how i could hurt her and do this to us it was absolutely my faulti dont really have active friends the friends i have are either far away or have families i have some who drink but i dont want to do that anymore it leads to terrible places for mei was mugged and robbed the other morning two men strangled and punched me when i told them i could help them one grabbed my hair and hit my head on the sidewalk a few times my head still hurts and ive been dizzy but i havent been able to afford health insurance for years i also cant afford therapy or my medications anymore i dont buy much the last time i bought clothes was three years ago  dont really want a lot of material items my clothes are all years old my car is  years old im not exactly blowing money i just cant afford thingsi dont know why i create more problems for myself things are bad but i end up dragging down the good things that i should out all of my positive energy intoi dont want to have a birthday its just going to make it worse i simultaneously want love and attention and dont want to be noticed at all,3.0
21714,booo didnt get the job working for apple   not guna be in a good mood for a while need a good night out i think,2.0
21715,thank you sexxy flower take your time happy sleeps and wet dreams luv ya babe ,0.0
21716,lovely day in the magical land of disney bed up early for more fun  missing bfl,0.0
21717,gabrieledurning  sadly we were too late for traceycakes but we got them elsewhere not the same but still yummy tea w wee on wknd,2.0
21718,a truly unpopular kid im unpopular  therapist thats jumping to conclusions and mind reading its only a cognitive distortion if it isnt true 😉,3.0
21719,mileycyrus thats great milez and hope tomorrow will be an awesome day too ,0.0
21720,stayin late in the office  emergency fix ,2.0
21721,sarahrainey awww i am sorry  hope you are still enjoying some of it,2.0
21722,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
21723,what defines a depressive episode im sure its a little bit different for everyone but is there some sort of ratio we can count on to define depressive episodes and what they consist of its never been a clear definition for me and i hate it because i never know if im genuinely going through something or if im just being whiny last year was the worst year of my life in terms of depression i was sad all the time and constantly thought about killing myself a few months ago i started feeling just like i did last year it lasted for nearly two weeks i couldnt get out of bed i had no appetite i was sad all the time and couldnt stop crying i had absolutely no motivation and kept blowing up at people who did nothing to provoke me i didnt have suicidal thoughts like i used to but i definitely did feel like life had lost all meaning and like if i did die i probably wouldnt be mad about it i havent experienced anything like that since but i still wonder what it was exactly its like a heightened version of what i would go through last year i remember having these sort of mini episodes all the time it would always be late at night and id spend  to  hours bawling my eyes out thinking about everything wrong with my life over and over again those always fucking got me and i dont know what to call those eitherdoes anyone else have any sort of experience with these things id just like to understand and figure out if im alone in this or not,3.0
21724,mmitchelldaviss   good call ,0.0
21725,feeling youre not good at anything you do hi this is my first time posting here so there it is during the past few weeks ive entered a vicious cycle i started telling myself that i am not good enough to play this part in music and other small things like that then the feeling moved towards maths and physics in which i was very good a few months ago so now i keep telling myself i am not good at anything i do and so i get bad grades in those subjects and then those just confirm my initial thought that i am not good at anything did that ever happen to any of you i feel kind of alone in this and i dont know what to do,3.0
21726,its hard to type with fake nails ,2.0
21727,tomfelton nice tom have a nice day  ,0.0
21728,hoomin i know its so sad  so many people buy them on impulse and have no idea the work it takes to care for such a unique pet,2.0
21729,there seems to be water all over my kitchen floor and its coming from the ceiling a great big hole in the ceiling ,2.0
21730,i forgot summer depression existed,2.0
21731,taw alness ,2.0
21732,jonathanrknight good knight thanks  putting up w me amp my other jongirls we had fun trying  get u  come  nyc well c u in  days ,0.0
21733,ianhislop welcome back qatar is getting a bit warm now ,0.0
21734,rt kelaoqieres how to desinstalar anxiety curso para principiantes level  ,2.0
21735,meet the parents night went great ,0.0
21736,kicked back with the girls cat a lil  greens beers panicroom and fries at sixarms with tyson legit conscious hiphop in the background ,0.0
21737,judemcconkey wow thanx for the compliment ,0.0
21738,wienermobile i was first on the scene when the wienermobile came to las vegas  wanna see my pics ,0.0
21739,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
21740,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
21741,jzy lol i had not seen that before funny ,0.0
21742,rt  watching our tour diaries 😭 i miss you all so much what the hell separation anxiety haha what an amazing tour slfl was ❤,1.0
21743,is eating cocoa pebbles this late at night and webcamming with her closest buds ,0.0
21744,cant figure out what to do  ,2.0
21745,heartoholic haha  ah i just get all these ideas and want to post them,0.0
21746,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
21747,bettychn cant wait to scoot around town watch out ,0.0
21748,  lunch of champions my brother made for us so good i love him ,0.0
21749,pink  sounds like ur havin fun relaxin  countin dwn the days till we see u again  miss yah stay safex,0.0
21750,back at work havent had coffee yet ,2.0
21751, look at you making front page of  ,0.0
21752,donniewahlberg i wanna pick a song to be mine because i love the hell outta that songits my songmy one song  if i want it  b rt,0.0
21753,god i seriously need real health insurance tired of dealing with sfs convoluted mess of a plan still dont have my fucking refills ,2.0
21754,nothing in my life has been working out in the past year and now my family and i may be homeless soon weve been staying with family for the past four months ever since our landlord doubled our rent and we could no longer stay in the home we had been in for  years the duplex my family and i are staying in now has a new landlord who told us that we had to pay  extra in rent until my husband my child and i move out we cant afford to pay any more than we already are so were being forced out once again at the start of november i have a  month old son who depends on me and i feel like ive already let him down so much my husband constantly works to keep us afloat as best as he can but we havent been able to afford our own place with me staying home to care for our son childcare is completely out of our budget so ive been trying to find a job where i can work nights so that i can contribute to our finances and still be able to be with our son during the day i just had an interview for a position that pays  an hour and thought i did really well but now im having horrible anxiety waiting for them to call me back for the final interview im still applying everywhere i can in the meantime life has completely sucked for the past year its like everything is against me people keep saying thats just lifebut i cant take much more of this every time i think things may be getting better the rug gets pulled out from beneath me and my family and i go tumbling down even farther im honestly scared to hope that something will go right,3.0
21755,and about to go to work  so cant play with it till i get off waaaa,2.0
21756,joshejosh yeah  oh while i have you whats your ga sn,2.0
21757,has a very sore throat and is barely able to talk now ,2.0
21758,i dont know whats wrong i have no idea what is wrong with me my life would be great amongst most standards i have a great family friends and popularity good grades athletic talent and all that stuff but i still feel empty i feel as if im truly alone i dont trust anyone truly and dont open up fully to them i dont sleep anymore and i have slacked in school too and it shows i feel empty and i put on a fake persona so i dont worry those around me i act happy and laugh but inside i feel nothing i stay up all night just looking at my ceiling i feel as if nothing matters and i just go through the same daily motions of life this quarantine stuff hasnt helped either ever since ive been forced to stay home cause of it about  weeks i have slept at most  hours in total i use to find comfort in playing video games or watching something online but now that doesnt even work i just dont know what to do anymore,3.0
21759,holy crap stress level right now is through the roof,1.0
21760,hi hi so i just randomly found this after just kind of typing my feelings into google and i really dont know why im typing this but ive been dealing on and off with depression for about  yeas now and since july i had been doing great until like a month ago and days like today it gets me so bad i was helping out in this musical competition thing not competing and i saw all those talented kids and like i want that too why can i not be like that and from the moment i left ive been crying and when i was crossing the road a car almost hit me it was speeding towards me and i just didnt move youd think that any logical person would move and i dont know why i didnt ive been suicidal before but i dont want to kill myself and at the same time i dont want to be alive and im so sorry for ranting ,3.0
21761,jdowson i guess i have to wait until they decide to allow me in to the beta  ,2.0
21762,rt citizxnn  it gets me so mad bc ppl truly think that were ignorant for saying dietexercise most likely would fix a lot of,1.0
21763,just booked the eurostar to paris for hellfest  yes mate,0.0
21764,taking care of my hubbyhe got his tooth pulled today ,2.0
21765,finals anxiety is currently at infinity,2.0
21766,fallenleaves haha its amazing  you have seen the show right,0.0
21767, anxiety through the roof im still scared,2.0
21768,lack of human emotion i feel so empty for the longest time like years ive been feeling myself distancing myself from family and friends and though i know that that lack of emotional intimacy and connection with family and friends is what i need and miss the more i distance myself and for never no reason i always find some kind of reason to be hurt or upset with them the more i dont care to receive their emotional intimacy and connections what should i do besides get my shit together,3.0
21769,newsage  chillami  majordodson  crisjobcoach   thank you  the very kind followfriday endorsements u folks r  cheers  ,0.0
21770, got tons of baby clothesomg i cant wait for my baby boy,0.0
21771,happy sunday planet twitter this is the day that the lord has made we will rejoice amp be glad in it bles your name jesus thank you ,0.0
21772,back in paisley ,2.0
21773, idk when its gonna b i think i missed it ,2.0
21774,lizloveskith congrats vacation rocks ,0.0
21775,lilmissdainty im glad to hear that  time in ny thy have to rember it and its cool that u made it memorable ,0.0
21776,astonesthrow here is mine  adding yours now   ,0.0
21777,signing off for the night this thing is driving me crazy slow ass comp  ttys xoxoxo,2.0
21778,playing guitar hero and i think my battery in my guitar died    anyone got aas,2.0
21779,my friends want to help but regardless of what they say i always feel like a constant burden on everybody its  and my prescription is  right eye  left eye so my eyes are on fire this is my first post on this subreddit here i gofriends havent showed any indications that theyre annoyed i havent and dont seen any facetoface even under normal circumstances but i know that ive bored people to death with how ive been the one reaching out the most went through a similar experience and tells me im beating myself up excessively for being toxic the evidence is still there and i just think my friends shoulf have disowned me by nowthing is even when she tells me that i feel as though im ruining other peoples lives and not letting them live their own lives because of the wreck thats become minethat in turn makes me feel even worse and speaking out becomes a distant dream shes always told me i can talk to her if things go wrong so the reason i subsequently dont is because its like im messing with their lives to salvage minebecause of the way things have been i havent contributed positively to things for the last month bed is like a safe haven i dont see my friends at all out of habit as im hella awkward and feel more introverted at least nowadays but know that at least some will basically despise how down i am i wouldnt blame themis it a onemanband thing or do other people feel vaguely the same thing to any degree,3.0
21780,my favorite dmb song dedicated to chrishy  quotants marchingquot ♫ ,0.0
21781,im not sure who i am happy im supposed to start therapy for depression soon but im afraid ive been regularly depressed for my entire adult life ive been in relationships made friends started and finished college got my first job and moved out of my parents house all while depressed it seems like such an integral part of who i am what if my life doesnt work happy im scared to get help ,3.0
21782,is so happy that there are only  to go before holiday week ,0.0
21783,listening to britney  bout  watch turkish grand prix  woo xxx,0.0
21784, that was not the best day ,2.0
21785,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
21786,mcspazotron you go very often to church dude ,0.0
21787,  finally got it ,0.0
21788,rt onues la depresión le puede ocurrir a cualquiera más de  millones de personas en el mundo la padecen hablar de ello ayuda elim,1.0
21789,i just want to go thats almost the only thing i want i spent the last  weeks being happy and making people laugh i wanted to try i wanted to see what it would change i wanted to change to cure myself i wanted to be closer to my friends i wanted to fix everything i went to a therapisti was disappointed i realized that no matter how hard i try it wont work people just prefer to be with others im so tired and sick of everything i feel alone why should they care im no one the people i considered as my friends ignore mei dont know why i am writing this here surely because i need to talk to someone but i dont think any of my so called friends would care or have the time to listen to me i dont either think i would tell them even if they showed a real interest,3.0
21790,is back from northwestern but misses all her new friends ,2.0
21791,snw sorry i dont know who has it or who doesnt ,2.0
21792,annaarbolario as long as we make the most out of it and still enjoy the company of those dearest to us then bring it on rain ,0.0
21793,my job is actually making me feel better i wish i could work more shifts so i wouldnt have to deal with the rest of my life ive been struggling with depression for a long time i was never professionally diagnosed but im about to see a psychiatrist in a few weeks to have it confirmed im not taking any medications im just well doing my best to be a functioning human being i started a job in june last year and it is honestly the best thing that happened to me in a while its just perfect i love my job obviously there are bad and busy days but thats very rare i hate my life and how empty it is im struggling every day to get out of bed unless its my  am alarm making me get up and get ready for work i hate spending time at home on my days off so i try to visit my grandma or my nephews but usually on my days off i will just make myself get up from the bed and settle on the couch and watch netflix or youtube all day trying to not think chores no freaking way my partner says im lazy and she doesnt get it i would love to clean the house with her i just cant i am not able to make myself do it cleaning something at work with pleasure i know its stupid to be excited about work but honestly its the only thing in my life that is truly positive everything else sucks,3.0
21794,trekkerguy whats wrong with peta  lolol,2.0
21795,working on my science project no fun ,2.0
21796,bennodaaa the cuter he looks the more enjoyable he makes maw  me and the look in this eyes  epic suffering   i mean  of course,2.0
21797,it was definitely one beer too many yesterday ,2.0
21798,sorry i havent been on in a while but my mom wont let me have a facebook ,2.0
21799,wesborland haha oh thank you for that i needed a good laugh  i love the last one,0.0
21800,ahaha more presents ,0.0
21801,help me spread awareness about depression anxiety loneliness and frustration helloim  years old graphic designer from the czech republic i had depression for a long time because of school now im depression free and i would like to find someone who would help me spread awareness about mental healthbasically i think general awareness about depression anxiety loneliness and frustration is very low and its not taken seriously i would like to find someone who would create with me something that will help the general public understand our troubles my idea is to create a set of posters that we could hang around some city i want to use my graphic design skills but the problem is that i dont have any money to invest if theres someone with the same interest as me someone who wants to help and have the option feel free to dm me lets create something awesome thank you and be strong guys,3.0
21802,jamespopstar hugsbro horrible i can have come meet for the three meals but ive cream that situation is sad,2.0
21803,megodbike ahh i see you need to go recruit some young ladies ,0.0
21804,a big shoutout to quotxayaquot who just gave me a thumbs up for my story ,0.0
21805,annavzang but if you got hit by a car who would make such lovely music ,2.0
21806,im so glad to be back up north where drivers abuse me for no reasoncrash right in front of me and its freezing ,0.0
21807,hardmansdeal  is that the one that sandy toksvig used to present with the sandwich quiz and hi long time no see ,0.0
21808,crystalsinger you still with the nausea too  i think its caused by a lack of amberygoodness,2.0
21809,hah swedish pirate party got its  ,0.0
21810,sad i didnt go to jalisco this summer ,1.0
21811,im just not enjoying this so im just gonna make the long story short for about  years ive been really struggling with gad and ocd it sucks like really badly as we all know i went to college this year scared and fearful then i met a girl i never in my entire life thought that i would ever feel for anyone the way i felt for her things were going great i treated her like a queen but one day as winter break started she cut off almost all contact with me said she just saw me as the guy who wanted to be with her said she didnt care if i stopped contacting her she broke my heart into a billion pieces she became so cold and i could think was i was only ever kind to you it was about a month ago but im still just so hurt by it and heres the kicker my dog just died this week i watched her go face to face eye contact as we drove off i could still see her body on the table through the window there is nothing that excites me and i just want to sleep im sorry if this is not what the sub is for if it is some advice please please,3.0
21812,signing up to twitter cause i have to for uni ,2.0
21813,slog lolllz  yeahhhh sorry for the late answer   and thanks for the link,0.0
21814,gnapokemon yeah i know huh ,2.0
21815,i hate raaaain ,2.0
21816,i wish life would deal me a different hand i feel stupid i feel like my mind works so much different from the people around me i have such a hard fucking time truly connecting with peoplei keep losing grip of happiness and purpose i feel empowered to be and do anything i want its poisonous i cant find challenges in life aside from trying to figure out why i feel so out of sync with the world but thats not exactly motivatingsome people sometimes tell me im perfect and it fucks with me i want someone to tell me i suck at something or call me a dick im so done with being praised at work and in relationships i feel like an impostermy focus in life is my career but im drawing aces every time and it initially makes me happy but that feeling quickly subsides when i start to think about whats next i might be progressing quicker than good for mei cant go through life without knowing what im aiming for i feel like everyone around me has a passion a purpose a goal to work towards and they spend years doing so im tired with how goals have served me and i feel empty after achieving themmy love life is a never ending spiral of thoughts whether or not i truly love someone i hold my partner up to the same standards i hold myself up to and its not painting anyone in the right light i try to accept people for who they are but i dont know where to draw the linei know i dont qualify as someone whos depressed but i had to dump my thoughts somewhere i realize the text above has little cohesion but that is what it isi feel like an asshole for tripping over what seems to be sheer luxury i ran into this brick wall little less than a year ago i sort of recovered by focusing on fulfilling values rather than goals but that only works as long as i keep moving as soon as i stand still like today after coming home from holidays and having the rest of the week off from work i fail to see what my purpose isand because of the above i feel like folding my hand and drawing new cards quit everything move somewhere else and start over with new people and different challengesim  these arent problems i should be having at this agei could easily get over this and make myself busy but i sometimes feel like thats avoiding the problem,3.0
21817,nearly ready to set off looking forward to it ,0.0
21818,always preaching the facts,0.0
21819,i feel as though im not depressed and i dont need help when a sad phase is over sometimes i have nights where im crying sometimes i take walks alone in the middle of the night after these periods of sadness anxiety and lonelyness i feel like i dont need help anymore its like i feel depressed and anxious sometimes and i think to myself i really should seek help ill call someone tomorrow then the next day or even just when i lighten up a bit i feel as though i was being irrational and that i dont need the help im unsure if this is just me neglecting help but even though im aware that it might be the case i still feel like i dont need it when sometimes i really feel like i should seek help is anyone else experiencing this or have some thoughts about the situation,3.0
21820,talentagentla thx ill give a call to sag on this would love to do it of course sounds like it could be a gray area thanks ,0.0
21821,help guys my depression is coming back ok if anyone reeds this i just need an outlet to say your not the only one who has depression i look in the mirror and think im the ugliest person in the world ,3.0
21822,nooooooo why did aar get moved to club  ,2.0
21823,ooohh its really windy today ,2.0
21824,kirbaloo oh my pic cause i did orange inspired makeup  fun day go to my da bolin has the address and look through the shoot,0.0
21825,angieodt well hope theyre kind too  ,0.0
21826,princesssuperc you were amazing last night at the  with britney im going out to buy your album tomorrow morning when i get paid  xxx,0.0
21827,have lots to blog about but for now im just going to enjoy the rest of the weekend and relax ,0.0
21828,justletsfine da aline hahaha nao sei cara acho que nao  shit,2.0
21829,this little girl doesnt realize that ill beat up a childgoin to six flags in the morning ,0.0
21830,needed to talk i dont really know where to start or what exactly to say but i need to rant and i have no one to talk to i moved back home in september after  years of being isolated and stuck in a relationship i wasnt happy in with the support of my few friends two being online friends and family i decided it was best to leave with my dog the move was and has been a lot harder than i could have imagined i have gone through so many ups and downs more than i think i have been through in my entire life this experience has changed me a lot it has made me cynical and hateful in a lot of ways but i have been good at adapting and hiding itone of the friends i made online was a girl who lived a state away from the state i moved back to she had a rough past and was very shy and careful about showing pictures of herself to me and talking to me on the phone or on webcam i know she is real though she has sent me one picture of a small bit of her face so i know shes real we had a lot in common she helped me through so much and was there for me she also nudged me to move back down herewhen i got back we started to drift ive always been horrible at keeping up with relationships so i knew it would happen this time too even though i had found the perfect friend ive always fucked up at one point or another and of course i did fuck up with her i needed someone to talk to and i ranted about how i was sad and lost and that i had no one around me to talk to and she got really upset at that i dont hear from her anymore i am no longer listed as a friend on her art profile i am a failure once again i sent her an email tonight but i doubt i will hear back from her if i do though im sure shell be upset and give me an earful about how i dont deserve to feel bad or whatever im scared thats what will happen but at this point i dont really care i know whatever shes upset about i deserve iti feel like i am destined to never have a successful relationship with anybody i feel like there is something wrong with me something preventing me from actually keeping up or finding the strength to be a good friend or partner i dont know why i grow distant and then suddenly after months of being shitty finally realise how horrible ive been and try to make it better when its already too late she told me she loved me and after realising she had no intention of ever meeting me i grew distant and resentful and now i am missing her i really fucking hate myself i hate waking up each morning and having to deal with these same thoughts and anxieties everyday i am slowly finding my feet here but im not happy i feel like ill never be happy ill never be able to allow myself to open up and trust anybody fully i dont know why i cant be normal i dont know why im scared of new things i dont know why i am the way i am i go to sleep every night wishing that will be it then dreading life when the morning comes i look forward to just going home and sleeping so i can dream and escape this reality for just a little while i dont know why i cant be happy my parents have helped and supported me since ive been home but im still not happy i dont know if ill ever be happy i just feel like a waste of space,3.0
21831, ughhhh sjdnsowjfk dont even get me started on that lol but its prob bc she has a bf ,2.0
21832,chelseaplayboy i wish i was there     ,2.0
21833,so excited for the jonas brothers concert  more days ,0.0
21834, they dont want our kind on river road i guess  were cheap picky and rarely surprised ,0.0
21835, shots of espresso got me on another anxiety level right now,1.0
21836,rt dailytonic exposure to the bacteria in soil can be good for mental health and could treat depression and prevent ptsd ,0.0
21837,pissedi took a nap and missed dinner  wonder if im still good for it,2.0
21838,veronicasmusic i wish i could come ,2.0
21839,curraghman dont work  hard tonightmy turn to be off tonight ,0.0
21840,depressionanxietyocdibsall above are cuntsproper suffering at the mo 😔😭 xxx — feeling fed up,1.0
21841,traveleverywher youre very welcome  my pleasure  ,0.0
21842,goodnight everyone  ,0.0
21843,morning all just had a japanese green tea  tasted awful but apparently good for you  not sure if there is any truth in it but hey ho ,0.0
21844,davefmv well we are sleeping  have fun,0.0
21845,meesasun actually i havent seen one in a while    there was a french short on tv last night that reminded me i need to see more,2.0
21846,swords make everyone sexy  oh harold,0.0
21847,once again im waking up earlier than i need to but not getting enough sleep whyyyy cant i go back to bed ,2.0
21848,why does my twitter profile pic not work ,2.0
21849,depression is always there sometimes it creeps around a corner others it looms over me like a deadly storm,1.0
21850,zachward  im disappointed because i couldnt pickup dsicomedy on  on my radio this morning ,2.0
21851,im  now i guess nothings different except for the fact that the voice in my head that tells me to keep trying and that it will get better gets ever so quiet,3.0
21852,this feels like the longest morning  i need work to be over,2.0
21853,exams i have very important exams in exactly two months ive been depressed for  and ive got absolutely no motivation to do anything what do i do,3.0
21854,just realized ive been depressed for  years and started wellbutrin will i ever learn to cope with depression and be able to come off of the medication basically what im asking is lets say im on the medication for a year and learn how to live and be myself will i able to stop the medication and be normal again or will i become depressed again when i stop taking it,3.0
21855,i hate rossi tratior hang him for treason ,2.0
21856,samb sorry    but personallyid rather be where you are,2.0
21857,meghangriffith you wont hate me if i put your name on your parents invitation will you im worrying about the stupidest things ,2.0
21858,is getting excited for the weekendor hang on i am going to be all alone   never mind excitement lost,2.0
21859,everyone come to baltimore for hon fest this weekend kay ,0.0
21860,hello i want to share something long post i also apologize for bad english its not my first languageim  nearly  and i have been struggling with my mental health for the past  years now i started taking antidepressants seronil fluoxetinum probably  a day and going to psychiatrist two years ago in march this is around the time my life changed completely i changed schools lost my friends and suddenly i became very introverted and antisocial i hated people around me i thought they were boring and basic and they probably felt my general disgust of them so as you can imagine i was very disliked by everyone around me and the feeling was mutual i wasnt bullied but definitely isolated maybe it was deserved i wasnt nice to anyone i tried to fit in at first but then got very tired of it and just decided that it wasnt worth it im just not the type of person who gets along with people i struggled with sleep tended to sleep during lessons sometimes sleeping few lessons in a row undisturbed because i was so sleep starved then i started taking kventiax quetiapinum before sleep and oh boy let me tell you this antidepressant just let me fly away to a different dimension every time i took it at night it just made my brain a rotten egg and i had to take   pills every night it was a ride every night obviously i hated it so i took it sometimes and sometimes not whenever i felt that i wanted to god im so stupidthats when my problems with anxiety and outbursts of uncontrollable anger under stressful situations really showed themselves i tended to just scream and cry uncontrollably and then take like  pills of kventiax and just let my brain do its thing where it felt numb and like a vegetablein februarymarch  i also started self harming a lot of self harming its so pathetic every time i remeber it i want to puke i hate myself so much for it but the scars are here they are big and disgusting and they will always remind me of how stupid i was stupid sad pathetic child you know what the worst part is im not even over it sometimes i still feel this strong urge to just cut myself deep and take a bunch of pills and be so numb that i forget who i am but now i have tranxene clorazepate and it always calms me down before i do something to myself  and im always so thankful afterwards because i honestly couldnt bare another scar but i still want to do it sometimes when world closes around me and something inside is choking me and i tell myself over and over how worthless and pathetic and talentless and disgusting i am and then i just have those awful thoughts about self harm i was self harming regularly but then stopped for a while just to start doing it again in late   and between march and april  i stopped for good and havent done this to this daymy mental health affected my grades and i struggled with everything in school my teachers practically gave up on me and let me pass out of pity i also changed my meds from seronil to anafranil clomipramine   a day  and i also started taking tranxene during my anxiety episodes and i still took kventiax but not regularely and avoided it as much as i could and i took them for  monthsthere was one thing that kept me going a dream to get into art schooli worked hard to get there painted so much and worked on improving my art skills and somehow i got in it was like a miracle a dream come true the true escape from my previous school a chance to meet new people and start all over againthen august came i switched my meds stopped taking kventiax anafranil and tranxene and started taking asertin sertaline   and now im here in my new school that i worked so hard to get into i got  new friends i started lauging and socializingi really thought that i fought my depression off that i was no longer sick i started to feel happiness againso i stopped taking meds without the knowledge of my psychiatrist i know i know  i am very stupid and just like that everything crushed shattered like glass im looking around at all those people around me and i realize how far behind i am worthless nothing i create makes me proud or happy again i just feel numb and again i cannot do anything its like something is constantly pushing me down a weight on my shoulders voice inside my head just telling me to do nothing to just lay in bed and not even try because its not worth it and then i feel pathetic for not doing anything and wasting my time  and i blame myself for it and it just makes me more unmotivated i feel like the happines i got was only created by the meds i took that everything was good with me i managed to feel happy sometimes but then i stopped taking those chemicals that made me tick and i broke againso i started taking anafranil again  weeks ago this time   and im taking a lot of tranxene because i often get stressed and anxious and want to self harmi also have yet to start taking new meds i got prescribed last friday pernazinum  before sleep but im afraid it will work similarly to kventiax and i hate when my brain feels like a rotten vegetable so i still havent touched it so thats it i thought i had fought my depression off but i guess it just sticks to me and doesnt want to leave its my fault obviously everything i do always ends like this past few years of my life are just a blurred mix of disappointment and shame the scars on my arm are just a bitter reminder of what i did to myself and what i still sometimes want to do,3.0
21861,chuck liddel no win  boooo,2.0
21862,hardlynormal  sillybut ill take it,0.0
21863,ooh no i dont like this version of interstate love song my homie mustve been on that stuff when he was singing he was so off key ,2.0
21864,rt  depression httpstcoxiejdrosvl,2.0
21865,i just realized today that im a massive fuck up i cant believe it took me this long to realize it i screw up everything and everyone around me i went to college solely to have fun and after having a miserable time there i have dropped with  in debt i got a bunch of tattoos just because i thought they would look cool n now i cant get any decent job i lost the love of my life because of some childish ass bullshit involving pride n now i have no one every time someone comes in contact with me they become more miserable than they were before they met me i get scammed and took advantage of because im stupid n never learn from my mistakes im a fucking screw up fuck this shit im going to change myself because i fucking hate who i am right now if there was two of me i would beat the shit out of the other one and i dont wanna hear that love yourself bullshit because i have not given myself any reason to do so all i have done in the  years of existing is just fuck up even when i had opportunities i made my mom cry multiple times and my dad hates me i swear to god if there is one i will change i will evolve i fucking hate myself and i dont want to i want to love myself i want others to love me i want them to love me bruh i fucking swear i will i will become a new person a person i can be proud of a son my mom could be proud of i will stop at fucking nothing nothing i tell you,3.0
21866,mckenler nope no luck with gil as yet spose ur almost ready for bed over there ,2.0
21867,depression sucks,2.0
21868,those links ive been posting are about bones picked up for two more seasons each different link has interesting info ,0.0
21869,record of my thoughts deleted my long ass postas expected no one actually gave a fuck if you cant read a couple paragraphs then obviously you cant solve my whole lifesee ya on the other side i guess,3.0
21870,i cant wait for all this to be over so i can end it i want this to be over to skip a year ahead when everythings back to normal so i can go off into a forest and do the deed and not have it be as much of an inconvenience i really have nothing else to sayi cant wait to die,3.0
21871,its a wet morning in northampton ,2.0
21872,good morning from dublin  thanks to everyone for the new follows ,0.0
21873,i am so going to get withdrawl symptoms once the apprentice has finished ,2.0
21874,damn my photo is gone ,2.0
21875,technosailor dammit just started making dinner  may join yall later,2.0
21876,can you eat animal crackers if youre a vegetarian hahahaaaa that just cracks me up ,0.0
21877,abscess on lower jaw dentist not answering phone sad times ahead ,2.0
21878,seriously though whats with all the plane accidents just in this past year unfortunetly i have to fly to ca for work this summer  scary,2.0
21879,i think my twitter is broekn ,2.0
21880,nusretnina going on my own ,2.0
21881,i was laid off yesterday i dont know if ill make it ill just be honest here im not looking to offend anyone and im not looking for argument im pissed im so pissed im having some of the worst episodes ive had in a long time if i come off as uncaring or naïve its just due to my trouble function right nowi finally found a job i could stick to due to my depression and anxiety i struggled to keep a job with proper medication and my lovely therapist i finally found a way to manage working and have been working since december of course there were days of shit but overall i kept going and felt so proud to actually feel like i had the upper hand with my depression my regional manager assured us there would be no lay offs a cut back in hours but thats fine that was a complete lie apparently scheduling and management was screwing up that the amount of sales couldnt equal out to the amount of wages being paid so out of the blue were all forced onto a conference call where our boss blows some shit out of ass about caring and that but pretty much saying fuck you even though it wasnt your mistake now i have to fill out unemployment which is a fucken trainwreck im nervous my previous history will ruin my chances which btw is so fun having to organize all that and remember what a complete failure you were at those jobs if i dont get an income i wont be able to get my medication or see my therapist i have  days with nothing to do but question what the point of this pathetic excuse of a life is i hate this i hate the people who are treating an illness like the end of the world but dont give a crap about those who have to now financially struggle i hate how people never gave a shit about diseases like depression but this illness something that might actually affect them is a fucken issue,3.0
21882,lurking the celebs haha especially demi ,0.0
21883,andisaytoyou yes it will be my bday gift to myself  ,0.0
21884,alonis it will be depression if the whole world is in recession ,0.0
21885,at lhr   different security folk tried to get me to remove my belt each time pointed it had plastic buckle i won each time ,0.0
21886,wow still sick fml thats ubber gaaay  n,2.0
21887,clevelandgolf good luck finding stewart and tell him hi if you do ,0.0
21888,doing some homework ,0.0
21889,new instrumental up  the alpha and the omega wwwmyspacecomjamesjrn i work haaaaaard ,0.0
21890,crap  i just remembered i was supposed to do something with mj yesterday  wthe kids here and stuff i completely forgot  ,2.0
21891, foxnewspolitics adamshawny they got you too eh sad so sad,2.0
21892,dude thissssssss but just watch bachelor winter games luke is a fucking asshole and he doesnt deserve to ever ,0.0
21893,rachelami what the hell man you just didnt want to talk to me anymore ,2.0
21894,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,1.0
21895,i think i have aspergers but nobody believes me ive only seen three therapists and two psychiatrists in my life all of them keep diagnosing me with anxietyi can see why i guess im fairly anxious but honestly i am so depressed the depression is absolutely profound and more than that im pretty sure i have aspergersit is so hard for me to socialize and this is where my dispute of the anxiety diagnosis comes in honestly i wouldnt say im really that anxious big crowds dont scare me neither do strangers but i am so bad at social interaction i really dont know why but it seems like whenever i join a new circle theres some woman who hates me and starts spreading rumors about me for some reason this actually only started happening when i was about  in elementary middle and early high school i always had a few close friends and was like on good terms with everyone else i wasnt super popular but everything was great i had my friends and i was never bullied or anythingmy juniorsenior year of high school things started to get a little weird my friends were still loyal but i would just catch weird hateful glances from girls i didnt even knowin pretty much every work environment i was just hated it was always women who hated me but people say that women are more sensitive and relational or whatever that aspergers is like a male braini took an ap statistics class my junior year of high school and as a project i actually compared indexring finger ratios to behavior so if you havent heard about this if you have a longer index finger its a sign of being exposed to more estrogen in the womb a longer ring finger is indicative of more testosterone and interestingly it correlates with spatial vs verbal reasoning and actually verbal reasoning encompasses algebra interestingly people with comparatively long index fingers scored higher on algebraic tests people with longer ring fingers did better on spatial anyway i have a long index finger and do terribly spatially so im really not very maletypical i actually could have told you that im not competitive or aggressive at all eitherso anyway i dont think my problem is that im not female enough but for some reason i just keep getting these girls that fucking hate me and i dont ever know what i did to deserve it i wonder if you can have a very female brain but still have aspergers cuz i think i do i am super awkward but i also present as someone who isidk i try to wear cute clothes and i have my sister help me pick them out i dont think i look too out of place but for some reason i just keep getting targeted again this didnt happen til like my juniorsenior year of high schoolim becoming an alcoholic because of this i know i should focus on the people who like me but this vitriol is confusing to meim thinking im naive or stupid or immature or something and i cant perceive whats really happening or what im doing wrong i havent had this issue with men at allbut like im  and for almost a decade ive had all these women just detest me and i feel like im doing something offensive without realizing it,3.0
21896,looking for check in buddy sorry if wrong sub etc i am hoping to see if someone on this sub is looking for a buddy to just check in and listen on a semi daily or semi weekly basis,3.0
21897,madiabulafia yeah theres no watter in my apartment ,2.0
21898,just went to safeway and the lady in front of me has the worst plastic surgery ive ever seen  gonna go home now and cry myself to sleep,2.0
21899,cant even since it ended with the love of my life last summer ive been sliding backwards i was shattered but its not even about him anymore its about the loss of hope ive managed to largely keep myself out of the suicidal thoughts mixmaster of pain but im dating people who i dont want to be with doing drugs like often my job is incredibly stressful so part of the drug use is a release hatch from those feelings the other part is just wanting to escape from my own head im an artist i dont make art anymore i have seriously so many hobbies and pursuits an active mind but i just dont care anymore i can barely eat or sleep ive lost weight my coke dealer just propositioned me which sounds like a pretty sweet deal i like sex i like blow hes a good guy normal so im wondering how long i can shamble along like this the other night i thought about going to na pretty seriously i got drugs instead there are people in my life who care about me i cant talk about this and lose my job or embarrass myself im upstanding cool fun smart i cant face this i feel like ill never love anyone again being in this state pretty much precludes me from any kind of healthy thing coming my way anyways this is a bit of a dear diary for the internet i guess throwing it out there and thats it thanks people goodnight ,3.0
21900,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
21901,ready for work lol   gorgeous i kno  ,0.0
21902,oxfamgb  i cant get the link to work    httpisgdtpct,2.0
21903,my gf cuts herself so my gf got depression and cuts herself she thinks about suicide too but doesnt want to leave me alone im doing everything i can to help her but its just not enought and its fucking with me mentally i cant sleep anymore cus of that i just dont know what to do anymore i was depressed too before i met her and i know what shes going through can someone please tell me what to do,3.0
21904,trying to study for math exam but whats really on my mind   wanna go  see demi and selena    ddlovato selenagomez,2.0
21905,after two weeks vacation in beautiful spain its time to put on my high heels and go to work tomorrow  trying to look business like ,0.0
21906,fun day went to fig with geena aftere a long weekend of working and making tips in seaside  but no internet,0.0
21907,kylekore u know the same sht happened to me some people really suck sorry to hear ,2.0
21908,i have so much anxiety flowing through me rn whyyyyy,1.0
21909,finally put myself out there one more time and i promptly got screwed over i was doing really well for a while i climbed out of my comfort zone and was having success in life i winged myself off all my meds and i havent been on them for a couple years i got off of opiates i started eating somewhat right then i let my guard down and let someone into my life i wasnt happy before i let the person in but i wasnt in a deep depression hating life in general what i would do right now to get high as a fucking kite i feel like thats what i need but i know that will only make me feel better for a hour or two then its back to this crap life i have i want to take a crap load of opiates and hope i never wake up again its maybe a good thing that i have no access to them anymore besides im  so broke right now i couldnt afford the fuel to go looking for them im just tired of all of this i feel like im stupid no i am stupid i should have seen this coming i am such a failure i let down everybody that depends on me im such a failure at everything i try to accomplish i wish my heart just gave out i am exhausted,3.0
21910,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
21911,bunnyprincess tess i know im sorry im fine but sadfully also very busy how are you doing ,0.0
21912,anyone else not want advice ive been wanting to spend more time with my family its natural i guess but every time the subject always comes to me what i need to do do this do that i dont want advice from people that are not my therapist i get that you care but i dont want to have to talk about it more than i have to i came out of my safe space to socialize not get lectured i get that exercise helps everybody knows that but its just not that easy to actually care or even have the energy to get up and go  i just want to try and be normal and talk about normal things,3.0
21913,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
21914,gphansuwon but she says ty for dog sitting ,0.0
21915,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
21916,coming off mirtazapine i want to come off mirtazapine as ive put on loads of weight and its making me feel horrible ive been on  for a year and it mostly helps with anxiety and insomnia but i feel i can work around these without medicationduring therpy i responded very well to cbt to the point where i do it without realising and its helped my depression and anxiety tenfold i have a plan to keep busy and start going to the gym to help with coming off them im just worried of the withdrawal and going into a depressive episode that lasts weeks since i have to work,3.0
21917, that was not very nice  your gonna make me cry  ,2.0
21918,teaganxoxo haha yeah i am in  days  bringing my laptop so i can stil get on ffe,0.0
21919,annddd why does lifting back suck so badly ,2.0
21920,rt katrinasalazar anxiety 🙂,1.0
21921,i feel so sad right now ,1.0
21922,tomkmorley hey tom it went great thanks took a while to adjust to the  hour days again amp got sick in the middle alas but all good ,0.0
21923,sick of indiana weather ,2.0
21924,sometimes i just want to cry mom dont tell me to calm down telling me to calm down just makes my depression and anxiety worse i was set off by sirens earlier today trying to chill and you wanting to hug me even though i told you i just wanted some spaceyou talking to me about career path ideas right now when im in a negative headspace does not help me talk to me about light hearted shityou know going to austria is a dream of mine no i dont want to go in debt to you with money because you bring it up every fucking minute that i asked you for money when i was abroad last time and needed help i dont want to hear about how my sister is going to go with my grandmother to austria and go to a family reunion because that has been a goal of mine for years and i dont even want to go with my sister because she micromanages me every single time im around hersorry im incredibly frustrated at myself and just want to curl up and not deal with anyone,3.0
21925, awww  i hope you feel better soon hugs yurimoreland yeah im deffinately happy with working instead  what you up to,2.0
21926,dphresh good morning daddys favorite ,0.0
21927,  veterans homes services complex mental and behavioral health needs ,2.0
21928,jaymzsial snow in june  i hope it doesnt come to mn  ,2.0
21929,we are scientists ,0.0
21930,ive spent my entire life trying to get respect from someone who will never give it i have tried so hard to be the perfect daughter i killed myself through high school to get perfect grades i went to the college you wanted me to go to that way you could just brag to everyone in the family even though i just did the easiest degree they could offer you couldnt care less that i had to waste years of my life trying to repair the psychological damage you caused me now that im finally trying to go and do what i want with my life all you care about is how much money i have in my bank and what you can take from me i will never feel cared about the same way that you care about my sister i get that im not the pretty one that you can show off im just the one that seems great on paper but at lest show me some kind of emotion other than your hatred towards me i know when i die youre just going to say to everybody you never saw it coming and that i was such a great person that you gave everything in the world to just so you can get pity from those people you are so desperate to please just know that when its all over everything was your fault,3.0
21931,does anyone feel like they cant talk i just realized i have this problem i want to say things but i cant its like im mute when words do come out its always a mutter followed by nevermind ever since i started smoking weed i started realizing this im trying to talk out of my chest which is what people recommend but sometimes word just slur and i start to focus on what im saying and feel like and idiot for opening my mouth in turn this makes me look like a bigger idiot because it sounds like im saying something but im not maybe its my lack of vocabulary since i dont read at all it just sucks when im talking to someone and my brain struggles to find the right words maybe its just me because when im high i get really talkative,3.0
21932,rt upbeatmax the road to hell is paved with good intentions proven and so adn is reaping stress from anays amp gma anti aldub hope it,1.0
21933,yourghettowhen you blame your grammar amp misspellings on being up late reading yourghettowhen tweets ,2.0
21934,staticxage  ily,2.0
21935,karijobe whatever you want whatever is you whatever you want to share ,0.0
21936,depression sneaking back into my life ,0.0
21937,had a good night last night watching movies and drinking mojitoswine  awesomeness,0.0
21938,every day is the same and my days are starting to blend together    been depressed a lot this year and most days i cant even tell what day it is anymore there are days where im not sure if the day  was a dream or not i just want to feel something man i want something to make me feel again    im wasting my life in this school a quarter of my life is already wasted and i cant stop thinking about how its all gonna end eventually i wish i could go back and redo everything again     i miss the times when all i was worried about was sneaking my pokémon cards into class,3.0
21939,mileycyrus  good luck tonight    have fun  x,0.0
21940,rt renalovelis anxiety is fun i swear 😒,2.0
21941,nauticathorn absolutely hot pic posted thanks for the late night view   huge fan,0.0
21942,chriscolhoun enjoy uxlondon dude and by dude i mean i hate you you lucky bastard ,0.0
21943,lovelessandmore 	 and i hope you is really you internet is cool you never can be sure ,2.0
21944,jordancraske hi jordan banksyart is now at   hes been posting there since having probs with his banksyart account ,0.0
21945,time to dream about the birds amp the bees this is going to be a week of hell  night everyone,2.0
21946,just updated blog another lifeless post i wanna blog more lively things man i need a brain like xxs ,2.0
21947,meggpegg its good then we have to wait til friday ,2.0
21948,consider avoiding acesulfame postassium ill try to keep this as brief as possible ive been dealing with fluctuating depression for a long time years now ill have periods where my emotions are fine sadnesshopelessness doesnt spiral out of control and im not having bleak gray dismal thoughts the feeling is incredibly hard to describe when depression sets in but to me it feels like emotionless hopelessness where the slightest negative thought can knock me down for long periodsi have no reason to be depressed no bragging intended im in good shape and theres no justification for that feeling this drove me to analyze my environmental factors namely diet since i stay active and work out a lot i noticed that when i drink certain drinks about a day later the depressive tendencies will creep ini started an unofficial science experiment on myself i hate mentioning brands because it seems like an attack but i only do so because of the ingredients lists my tendencies only came around when i drank monster sugar free rockstar sugar free red bull sugar free and fresca i immediately assumed aspartame was the culprit but that cant be the case given that rockstar and monster sf dont use it there are also other drinks that contain some of the major ingredients that i consume a lot that dont cause the issues coffee tea etc so i put together a spreadsheet and long story short theres a lot of common ingredients between the drinks until you get to fresca the only major ingredient other than citric acid between all four is acesulfame potassium i cant find any scholarly sources with valid lists of sideeffects without delving into the all artificial sweeteners are voodoo websites as the fda hasnt done much testing with acesulfame k so take this for what it is one guy doing research on himself and posting the findings it could also be a combination of ingredients acek and citric acid for example but so far removing acek has worked well for mei completely cut it out of my diet a couple months back and havent had a significant period of depression since i dont want this to seem like a magic bullet or some amazing cureall which is why i gave it some time before posting but more a psa that if youre having bad bouts of depression and have tried a litany of ideas give this one a shot as well if youre prone to consuming a lot of diet or sugar free beverages ice creams candy gum or even certain protein powders keep up your positive behaviors and counseling and hopefully someone out there reading this has the same sideeffect of acesulfame k as i do and sees some modicum of successbest of lucktldr op apparently has a bad response to acek so he wants to tell people just in case they want to try removing it from their diets as part of their treatment,3.0
21949,driving lesson last night not as great as last week  mounted a kerb and remembered how crap i am at parking ,2.0
21950,life sucks a  year old male who suffers from bi polar schizoid depression ocd i dropped out of high school at  for  year for personal reasons before i went back to school i noticed that all of my old friends were almost done with high school and i barely had grade  i felt sad and like a failure i left school for religious purposes so i dont understand why i then tried to commit suicide for an entire year and felt hopelessly depressed i then went back to school along side guys  years younger than me i ended up failing year  i was the only one in the class that failed i consider myself very intelligent well thats what people say i lost interest in school so grades dropped i had all of these plans to go to university and bitcoin but somehow god isnt on my side like he has something against me i believe in god my parents are religious and im a really good guy generally i never kissed and im still a virgin i lost my job a few months back so now im lost i never had a gf and i have no friends im probably spending my  alone i just want to die i might strave myself since god and no one else cares about me then a few months later i find out my mum has cancer and now its all gone to shit i tried shooting myself but couldnt get the gun safe to open i cant do this anymore im broke and broken we literally have to wear hand me downs and share underwear we dont get anything for our birthdays not that its important but fuck i cant anymore ,3.0
21951,ricardla no i am leaving tomorrow  ah plane  u in cincy yet,2.0
21952,themagpie not this one ,0.0
21953,digitalgirl crazy  so what u up  this evening,2.0
21954,why are adults so poor and sad and pathetic and two faced and just problematic in general,2.0
21955,bjblyth i hav ordered an imac on  finance  will be bout a week now,0.0
21956,this sucks i want my baby to come home ,2.0
21957,waking up after the sun  divine ,0.0
21958,laurennnyo my throat fucking kills i was nearly sick this morning cos of it  sooo worth it though we were actually really close ,2.0
21959,barrylyga that happened here yesterday nose wanted to go awalking ,0.0
21960,wahhh sad news again  plane debris found in path air france jet took httpnewsyahoocomsapbrazilplane,2.0
21961,cheering self up at saizen  happiness,0.0
21962,donaldjtrumpjr cnn jail time or insane asylum time she exhibited disturbing behavior and should have mental health evaluated,1.0
21963,i think i am having a case of caffeine overdose  having a headache now after the second cup of coffee,2.0
21964,writing this is better than doing nothing if anything self isolation taught me how important it is to be doing something but doing nothing while it feels so angering like come on i have all the time i could want no work college from home but why do i lay in bed all day why do i just get myself a drink after dinner like ive earned it i smoke a bowl telling myself i need to calm down ive been doing nothing all day i slept while my mom cleaned the dishes and put away her laundry i barely spoke to her i slept because i didnt want to do anything else i didnt have the motivation to do my schoolwork i want to cry  i want to throw my things im so frustrated with myself that i dont even externalize itits like im just numb it takes so much effort to be normal that i wonder if ill ever get better i keep thinking about how i should care for myself but im thinking maybe im better off institutionalized its this shitty spiral ive been stuck in for at least two weeks now i just need somewhere to rantvent all of these feelings most of my family is dealing with so much more right now and my friends are working the hospitals on the frontlines thank you for reading i appreciate your time,3.0
21965, hope so they could share with us their lives out of showbizz ,0.0
21966,follow friday  midnight lol idk why i love it cause i can shot out my followers by the way do yall not like me yall never talk  me ,2.0
21967,rt charlesdropout fake mental illness twitter already starting about how its almost winter amp their depression is kicking in as if that s,2.0
21968,i never thought id say this but now its like i miss ronell being up with me at night  i think he feels the same way,2.0
21969,lucky enough my breakfast cheered me up ,0.0
21970,i dont have free txt messaging ,2.0
21971,we live to die so why shouldnt i speed up the process im worthless and its not going to get better i no longer find joy in anything anymore every day feels like a thick fog has been implanted into my brain and the minutes and hours pass by me in a daze somedays i cry for no reason others i feel nothing at all i find solace only when sleeping if my life is going to be like this for the foreseeable future why shouldnt i end it early i can free up some space for some more deserving people who can enjoy what they have,3.0
21972,too busy trying to impress everyone else u forget what impresses you  stop following the movements and make one ,0.0
21973,rhubarb muffins with walnuts oma what were you thinking ,2.0
21974,work work work rain rain rain ,2.0
21975,andyclemmensen ily xoxo thx soo much for saying happy birthday  go on msn,0.0
21976,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
21977,is home again from raining sherwood forest back to sunny cambridge ,0.0
21978,i am unfollowing you until i get my fullservice on wednesday spoilers make me sad ,2.0
21979,mademoisellelia ,0.0
21980,too tired to do anything constructive so sat processing some photos from yesterday buttercups and sparrows  exciting stuff ,0.0
21981,going for a run todaybut its raining  must prepare for race next week though,2.0
21982,just watched what happens in vegas funny movie and now i am heading to bed as study waits till tomorrow no winter sounds for me ,2.0
21983,wishin i cld c my jay  amp my  baby loves back in ky  the months out get ready ,2.0
21984,happiness is weird why would anyone want itit feels fakesmiling feels fakethe only time i feel trully myself is when im extremelly skeptic of everyone and everythingwhen i destroy every possible belief i could haveand end up drinkind writing sad poemsthat is when i feel like im being authentichow do people do not do that all of the timeis happiness really that good,3.0
21985,i am so sad i cant believe this terrible thing happened to the sweetest most pure human in the universe,1.0
21986,im so afraid of never finding someone again i cant stop thinking about it its ruining my life i just want another chance with someone new hello reddit im  and i think ive got a but of anxiety or an irrational fear over being alone ive driven myself insane for almost a year over this im absolutely terrified im going to end up alone i had a girlfriend for a few months during my junior year of high school but things really didnt work out we broke up and she started dating a new guy within  weeks and then told me he was better im worried sick that because of my appearance im not going to find a girl in the future im  so maybe thats why ive never been able to get a date im leaving for college in the beginning of september this year and id really like to meet a girl while im there is it dumb to think ill be alone forever because of my height or looks i think i have a really great personality and id like to think im interesting i know a guy who is my height and hes a druggie working at walmart with a girlfriend whos  with that being said i hope i have at least some kind of chance its not that i dont try either if i see a girl i like then i talk to her if i see a girl on instagram thats from my area then i try and hit her up im not shy at all there are some freaky people out there with really pretty girlfriends so maybe i have hope idk,3.0
21987,back to work tonight  sigh still lacking rightside facial control bigger sigh,2.0
21988,rt blvckcatstudio i liked a youtube video  outcasts  cast out  free type beats to use   sad traprap,0.0
21989,nobody gives a fuck ,2.0
21990, that was slightly gay haha craft  design homework was what i was getting at i cant be fucked with it ,2.0
21991,enjoyed that exam   is that wrong,0.0
21992,  wow what a dress what a pose and great over all picture think shes a little young to be on the glsp though ,2.0
21993,capnchub i dont get it ,2.0
21994,ok good night to you to  lets tak  period,0.0
21995,i feel that im so much behind taking care of my shops  just dont have the energy for some reasons,2.0
21996,kingofindiana still waitin on my twitter follow luv ,2.0
21997,dkisamore  oh well you didnt specify at first i guess were cool then lol ,0.0
21998,i really need a bag of skittles right now ,2.0
21999,rt nicamora finna be asleep in  seconds but why is it that creatives seem to experience depression the most,1.0
22000,thanks rdepression i dont know if my talking to people here has helped me at all  it might have even made me worse  but i still really appreciate being able to talk to you all,3.0
22001,mrpeterandre hi peter i think youuu are the coolest man alivee  xx,0.0
22002,help  how do you guys overcome depression anxiety,3.0
22003,nicolettti ai pelo menos onde eu estou ja parou kkkkkk sad history,2.0
22004,i cant feel anything at all or dont know what i am feeling i seriously dont know who the fuck i am or what the fuck im feeling usually im really fucking sad all the time but my mom just told me and my brother were going to the movies i said ok went upstairs and i just locked myself in my room i just kept telling myself that i cant go over and over again im not feeling sad right now and i cant explain what i am feeling its like i cant feel at all right now and i cant explain what it is,3.0
22005,sandiloo im getting one tomorrow just just put a layby thing on it it shall be good for my tinny room  haha,0.0
22006,was planning to go ikea for a new workstation but is purging like mad ,2.0
22007,iamheather cant read your threadless shirt thru the mirror lol inquiring minds would like to know its sad robotic message wclarity ,0.0
22008,bloodpurple my father passed away years ago   ,2.0
22009,✌🏽💕 ,1.0
22010,ohai live tracks on lastfm radio wasnt expecting you neato ,0.0
22011,off to see my best mate for the weekend he lives in a city with no starbucks  really i live in a city with ,2.0
22012,going to do one of the quotoutsquot though id rather pass than work ,2.0
22013,do i have depressiondysthymia at all hey guys i am a  year old college student im not a big fan of labeling people or myself at all but recently ive been wondering if i do have dysthymia because it feels like a lot of the characteristics of dysthymia fits me i wont see my therapist until friday so for the mean time i wanted to ask for opinions from people here i just feel like every single day i am running towards an endless goal or somewhere i cant seem to find the exit i personally do not like studying but i was in the national honors society in high school and am at a pretty good standpoint in terms of gpa even in college but im not doing it because i want to i feel pressured into doing everything that i do for a stable job future for my future children etc its like i need to do everything because i cant fall behind i need to keep going everyone else is doing it just fine so why cant i do it i need to do it no one likes someone who whines i need to keep going i need to be happy and honestly i think ive felt the need to do so since maybe even  grade but i was surrounded by my close friends so i kept at itnow that i am in college it feels worse its like high school but worse without friends and the increased pressure for getting a job maybe i shouldnt complain since i do have a husband who is kind and few friends but i often feel disappointed against them when they do the slightest thing i dont want them to do i keep on telling myself i cant control them but i get so upset i go through my daily life getting stuff done mostly on time and keeping a good gpa but after classes are over i just want to lay down crawl inside my bed and do absolutely nothing but scroll through reddit or youtube or anything that keeps me entertained i dont want to interact with anyone it just feels like another tremendous effort i have to take last night at  when i couldnt sleep tears started rolling down my face and i had no idea why it just kept on coming i get teary a lot and i am always really tired i have been on medications once wellbutrin xl and it worked fine but i always felt a weird sense of guilt of taking it so i quit but now i am fearing theres no way to get over this general down without it but i know if i start taking them again i would feel guilty its a dilemma do i even qualify as having dysthymia or does everyone else feel this thank you for reading all this,3.0
22014,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22015,sohailish me too music school in the afternoon ,2.0
22016,just got home had so much fun now i definitely need a shower ,0.0
22017,bosslouisa im only  minutes in ,2.0
22018,kim teahyung i love you that best for me in the group i love oppa please do not listen for that u so cool and so be ,0.0
22019,back to work today after a  holiday     emails vmail box full oh and cc have barred twittercom  ,2.0
22020,locusmeus you are a star works just need to fix the colour in the css file to look right  ,0.0
22021,hobbyzu i could use almond meal instead of breadflour since i cant use either one thanks luv ,0.0
22022,watching quotwhale warsquot          ,2.0
22023,alwaysmay i found out my uncles name is james wilson however he does not have large eyebrows ,2.0
22024,oh how i wish i could go to the atp documentary screening in the ifi tomorrow night followed by dj set from barry hogan ,2.0
22025,i talk to three people i talk to exactly three people regularly one of them is my fucking dad the other two are friends of proximity im slightly tipsy i wish i was plastered fuck me no one would miss me if i wasnt here ,3.0
22026,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
22027,at grandmas for the day ,0.0
22028,so sickbut going to work anyway because i really do love my job going to miss it when its over ,2.0
22029,i just feel alone even when im not i feel like my friends dont even reply to me anymore im falling apart even the little things seem like mountains lately i tried to talk to my boyfriend and i regret it now i know i have it pretty decently compared to others i dont mean to act like i have it so badive stopped drinking so much but still nothing sounds better than getting blackout and getting hit by a car ive tried to kill myself before and the only thing stopping me is my kid i dont want to be a fuck up in his life any more than i am but everyday it seems like the weight of being alive gets heavier my own apartment looks about as bad as i feel i know this is probably a ramble but i dont know what else to say or where to post it hah,3.0
22030,therealchillar  and why not,2.0
22031,somebody do that follow friday thing for me    i dont have that many followers  ,2.0
22032,msunreliable whats wrong with the lappy i once fell asleep with my laptop on my stomach rolled over and cracked the screen ,2.0
22033,therealjordin thank the lord indeed  now rest that voice,0.0
22034,picking up chick for me and mom ,0.0
22035,off to a bkfst mtg then to a surprise birthday party for an  old guy   planting seeds for when i get old  ,0.0
22036,this season of hoc is literally triggering so much anxiety right now,1.0
22037,you may see a few updates on the site later in the week like the bioy music video and a few other surprises ,0.0
22038,trisharivera agree completely  how are you trish out for summer yet,0.0
22039,therealjayrome lol probably shouldnt on here but im glad you did say it making me want to catch the first flight to london ,0.0
22040,nothing makes me happy anymore     i didnt know where else to post this but i guess i just needed to get some things off my chest i can barely ever read through long paragraphs myself so ill try to keep it short and sweet     as the title reads nothing makes me happy anymore not my favorite hobbys or even hanging out with friends and its honestly kind of scary im under constant pressure to get good grades and hit these marks that seems so impossibly high my grades are terrible and im already retaking a class this semester i cant seem focus on any one task for very long without losing interest or getting distracted  i keep pushing off work and submitting assignments late but at the same time feel like im doing nothing other than working does that make any sense i dont have that sinking feeling like im doing anything wrong like i felt in highschool i just feelnothing    if you read this i really appreciate it i just wanted to hear from other people    ,3.0
22041,rt redtyneside i feel more contained and at peace after ten days of brutal crushing anxiety something changed im unwell but feel,1.0
22042,hollyoldham my best friend lives there  im going to stay with her for a few days and were going to the underage festival  xx,0.0
22043,monday mornings dont always have to be bad ,0.0
22044, i have so much to say to you right now ,0.0
22045,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
22046,ahmier im going to bed too nitey nite cztron indiashawn and everyone ,0.0
22047,amanicka hahahahhaha are u mom a munster or shes watching the munsters too ,0.0
22048,i need advice i self harm i was worse about it a few months ago and i had stopped but i started again and i think its time i tell my mother who i live with im  btw that i self harm so i can go get some help im so scared to tell her and i dont know how to bring it up any advice or anything would be really helpful this is stressing me out big time,3.0
22049,i cried on new years eve i was really happy until midnight and wanted my friends to be happy too but after that it went straight down to doom not only did i hurt a woman i know who works at the bar but also cried infront of everyone worse thing it wasnt like normal crying it was my uncontrolable depressioncrying and i never did this infront of my friends i guess i also kinda drank too much alcohol which is why i told myself to quit it this year  wish me luckim not a person to talk about my feelings since it mostly worsen my depression like it does now i feel so bad but i pretend like i dont remember infront of the othersmy friends think it was the alcohol i guess but it was just a sideeffect comparing to the true reason which is that  was one of my worse years by now i always thought it will get better i can stand this and become better at controlling it but i havent calculated failure and so im thrown back years i actually think as okay of myself but im suffering under the fear of what others think of me which is so bad when im thinking about new years eve,3.0
22050,i hate putting new strings on my guitar they always sound gross ,2.0
22051,well i guess i need to start a new chapter in professional my life ,2.0
22052,yoooo ppl  miri is back  haha  but its time to start study for german exam tomorrow what a shit pp haha ,0.0
22053,just back from awards ceremony best one yet gonna miss everyone thts leavin  burf day next wednesday xdxdxd,2.0
22054,my computer died ,2.0
22055,swimming and a picnic ,0.0
22056,going to watch practical magic again ,0.0
22057,hmph well at least its not under my bed anymore but i dont know where it is now ,2.0
22058,gabbler did you stay at home phone doc and get tested not to panic you just incase lol if you didnt its manslaughter ,0.0
22059,lmao mrgoodmorning chiffen she stay mackini look up to my big sisi miss yall lol ,2.0
22060,struggling hey i apologize in advance because this is my first post on reddit ever please remove if this goes against any rules or anything i did try to check first cw friends suicide suicidal ideation serious depression bpdim in college and moved out within the past couple of months into my partners house not long before the move in january a friend of mine killed themself when that happened all hell went lose inside my head i couldnt keep up with school and dropped almost all my classes and the classes i stayed in everything was turned in late luckily i had that fancy paper from the office of disabilities that gave me more time on assignments and my professors were understanding anyhow i moved in hopes it would help me feel better it really didnt im  non binary and have been struggling with depression and bpd since i was  but last semester before the friends suicide i was doing really really well i got all as and bs and brought my gpa up almost to a  i had a rough freshman year im not on any medication right now due to my own failings of not taking it for three weeks but next monday a week from today im going to start in an intensive outpatient program where theyll be monitoring my meds i dont know what exactly i hope from this post but im trying to get any advice on things i can do to try and stay stable since i havent been able to and how to gain a sense of normalcy again im trying to set up a morning and nightly routine and i dont have to worry about school again until august other than that i dont know what else to do but attend therapy on monday im trying my best to get better but i dont know how to get better again in the first place,3.0
22061,foxnews  flotus kathygriffin everyone should question kathygriffins mental health after her bloodie ,1.0
22062,watching legally blondes you should check it out too its great ,0.0
22063,jaffab the chance is slim right now  i cant believe it happened and so unexpected ,2.0
22064,desperate its the first time im having suicidal thoughts during the day since months and i know its stupid bc it has no reason i have a giant support system go to therapy etc but i cant shut down the feeling that im worthless unwanted not needed and a piece of shiti dont wanna do anything but rot but when i do that i know i will dissapoint even more ppl making this downwards spiral bigger and bigger but i cant help iti also just had a fine january and hoped my depression would go away at least till tests are over but it aint happening,3.0
22065,at a hotel w my fam super awsome the view is   were chilling rite now its so relaxing,0.0
22066,drumming makes my world go round  ,0.0
22067,got out of work near  minutes late i know it could be worse but thats  minutes of my weekend ill never get back ,2.0
22068,soapsindepthcbs sigh thank you for reminding me why atwt is an exfave now despite having watched it since  ,2.0
22069,im sitting next to angie  yay,0.0
22070, i hope ur pup is ok ,2.0
22071,looking for an app while working in retail during this crazy time i am finding myself putting others needs in front of my own i recently had an upper respiratory infection for  days and just went back to work this week but not feeling  my job is working us so hard i feel as though i cant get better i was wondering if there was an app that would send notifications through out the day to remind you to stop and check in with yourself thank you,3.0
22072,leahmariex wot time did you stay up to i was dead and gone by tht time hahaha love you doo da doo lifes  ,0.0
22073,luciiousjean i know righttht would be sweet if i invented something like that ,0.0
22074,mechellemybell im so sorry  hugs ankle hope it gets less painful soon,2.0
22075,misses his bestest cuz hes in orlando right now ,2.0
22076,that last one was my  update  not planned swear wtf wow awesome connected  and on that note good night,0.0
22077,i cant help but to be jealous of other peoples success it really makes me depressed when i see that other people are doing the things i wish i could do i havent been able to do simple tasks lately so when i see people that do amazing cool things i just cant help but to be jealous i wish i was in a good state of mind to do things i wish i could get up out of bed and be motivated i wish i could take my eyes away from my phone so i could do something productive but every thing is such a chore whenever i see someone who is praised for being funny smart talented or athletic i just wish i was them i wish i could be amazing too i wish i could learn things and not get confused i wish i could come up with a joke that makes people laugh i wish i was great at sports or singing but i cant do anything i just wish i was amazing as everyone else,3.0
22078,griffey yeah i was excited at first too ,2.0
22079,my throat hurts ,2.0
22080,lelealvin bfrcleber se a menina quer agora ser flamengo quem sou eu ou vc pra impedir eou dizer o que é certo ou ,1.0
22081, it was good seeing u yesterday  but nxt time come  ny so i dont have to drive  hrs haha wish i could have talked  u longer,0.0
22082,im really struggling today where my heads at is kind of scaring me i really need help but im not sure what to do or who could help me i have a script for cymbalta my doc prescribed me at the beginning of the month that ive been too scared to take has it helped any of you,3.0
22083,praising god for music and musicians ,0.0
22084,camanomade clf twibe link is not working  ,2.0
22085,the guy that kept sending me i miss you text unfriended me on snapchat and im kind of sad im not getting the at ,1.0
22086,hellakaty its  here and i am wide awake plus there are drunk people being loud outside ,2.0
22087,mariaatortillaa yeah it wasnt the same  my purplepink shirt got me in free and a dudes number at the door lol,2.0
22088,can anyone recommend a good blogging platform im a beginner and need easy useplease reply  blog,0.0
22089,stupid magistrate stuffed up the date im supposed to get my licence back  more days ,2.0
22090,againsolving my project fields problemsigh ,2.0
22091,i just need to know where should i go  i am  years old and i never felt like there is a worse time in my life than now i have severe adhd with some aspergers i currently live with my parents and have no job my brain and body feel much weaker than it did since i was  i rarely leave the house and i just feel like an overall loserlets begin with my adhd and aspergers ever since i was young my adhd has affected my life so much to the point i feel mentally disabled at times i do not know my iq but i have a feeling it would be at least in the double digits and i also wouldnt be surprised if i was close if not disabled for a low iq i remember when i was in school i would have such a hard time focusing in class that i almost forget everything that the lecture had and sometimes when i was studying on a study guide i would not remember a large portion of what the unit was about i feel like i just was never meant to learn anything nor do i have an ability to learn i never correct my mistakes because i felt like i could truly learn from them for example when i was younger my parents forced me into a swim team despite the fact that my motor skills are horrible and i wasnt meant to be an athlete they just wanted me to be active or to go outside of the house i remember almost if not every time i did the breaststroke i would dq because i would mess something up i thought i wouldnt do it the next time but i always messed something up i just think that some people can never learn and understand from there mistakes even if they actively try doing so i am just too stupid to learn from anything and do not understand how to learn from failure i don understand how can i learn from something lastly i also cannot stop comparing myself to other people maybe i live on the internet all day but this goes back to i cannot stop doing my mistakes i feel like i am selfaware of my problems i just can never feel like i can fix themi also have aspergers as well this does not affect me as much but it does still affect me a lot if not it is possibly getting worse i feel like my social skills are getting worse since last year since i do not leave the house very often i dont have many people i am friends with although this has gotten better over the past  years sometimes i get the feeling when i do communicate with other people and i have messed up on something socially people think i am an asshole because i might be doing something wrong lastly i just feel like i could never get to have sex because i am too autistic i just do not understand relationships at all i almost feel like i am almost an incel because i personally think the reason why women date men is because of how successful they arei live with my parents and i just dont know what i want to do i only graduated high school and i dropped out of community college because of how much i was failing classes i am too scared to get a job and also i am afraid to get one because it could impact my mental health even more i dont know what job i could even do besides some shitty retail job because of my high school degree i understand those jobs are short term but i feel like that i never really could find what i want to do in life i am afraid i could never leave my parents and i have to feed off their money for the rest of my life i am currently at a career college where it helps the slightlymildly autistic to get a job i have no idea what i want to do im sure at this point they are convincing us that even dying in a chinese sweatshop is a job and thats good i thought about something from home that i can do since i have the internet but idk what jobs i can do from home i feel like in todays day and age the amount of ways someone can make money especially in america is a bit overwhelming to the point where i do not know where i should go i always feel like working some sort of  job in a professional setting wouldnt work for me and i feel like  are an outdated concept too it just feels like people around me only think of jobscareers as a typical job that doesnt have much to itmy body and brain feel overall weaker this is a more recent problem that is getting worse for me i feel like i do not have the same energy that i had about  years ago when i was  or even  my body felt better and i could think more clearly now i am  i turn  in march and i have gained a lot more weight and my brain has felt weaker than it was in  and  when i first graduated high school i weigh around  pounds and i felt amazing ever since then i gained so much more weight to where i now weigh about  i think i could be eating less but i been trying to work out lately i feel like my problemsolving skills and my focus have been impacted the most my adhd has gotten worse but i am trying to exercise and meditate to make sure it isnt as much as a problem my problemsolving skills have gotten worse because of the fact i do not understand how i can work my way out of the rough time i been having it also has gotten worse due to the fact i feel like there could be so many solutions and i do not understand what is the right one for feeling better a lot of this could be because of my weight gain or the fact that i eat lots of junk foodi rarely leave the house mostly because of my social anxiety i just feel too comfortable at home to the point it is driving me insane i really do nothing at home and i just need more structure outside of my house i do not feel like i want to get a job outside of my house though because i feel like it would be something that would require more discipline and the fact i can sometimes be inconsistent with my sleep i have been thinking about going out to a local card shop to play the pokemon tcg at a local card shop but i do not plan to play that until i have a decent income so i can afford cards and save money for later either way i just do not know where i want to goi overall feel that i am an overall loser that doesnt know what i want to do in life pls help i just want to feel better againtldr i have felt like a loser ever since last year and i just want to feel and be more successful in life,3.0
22092,bad news i need a frapuccino ,2.0
22093,hitfixdaniel i was afraid of that  this geek is looking forward to seeing it and then being all righteously indignant,2.0
22094,shabbygomer wish we could have surprised them and gone to h but just couldnt work it out ,2.0
22095,missing everyone ,2.0
22096,how do i stop being self destructive seriously if there was a switch or a button i can press where the fuck is itit doesnt matter what i focus on i always have this false sense of ambition that makes me take it to a point where my world will start crumbling in front of me my weight my  lifestyle my financial status relationships sexual and platonic things im supposed to have control over everything always goes downhill after sometime im at a loss and i guess i just need my life taken away from me,3.0
22097,youngmrfudge because im so cute i am always able to get myself out of difficult situations ,0.0
22098,plz fiesta must open today is my first day of holiday it mean i am unlucky d  no,2.0
22099,not really looking forward to school today  barely any days left but still no more kinda sorta looking forward to prom but  ,2.0
22100,very annoyed that i have caught an evil cold though and even more annoyed that people think i have swine flu  i dont by the way ,0.0
22101,chrismistybelle i dont even know honestly hopefully its fixed by the time i get back itll suck to be stuck at home for a month ,2.0
22102,lunafiko cant wait to try em but prolly have to wait until next weekend at the earliest ,2.0
22103,how do you make decisions when depressed so schools starting back up soon and everything within me wants to just drop out and not go back i have no idea what i want to do with my life and its super hard to pick a path when the best one seems to be just ending it all which i know i shouldnt do but it just feels like it would be for the best i just dont know how to make a proper decision when it feels like ill regret whatever choice i make i was really excited about my program when i started it and it feels like if i drop it ill just disappoint everyone myself included and will regret it once im in a decent headspace never mind the fact that i have no idea what i would do instead and i need to do something i cant just hibernate in my room all day like i have been doing during christmas break it feels like right now the only option is to suck it up and just finish my program which feels like its bringing me closer and closer to actually killing myself rather than just fantasizing about it i dont know how to properly weigh pros and cons of any actions when depression is skewing the weights of everything any advice for how to rationally make decisions when i feel so irrational ,3.0
22104,juwalbose oops eldhose bhai uploaded the same too did you read the hindus article on barcamp binny rocks man ,0.0
22105, lol hugs babe  hey heard of twitter deck by any chance you using it i cant seem to install it ,2.0
22106,tinafey and the guy seemed pissed off that people were calling him quottina feyquot hmm obviously he lacks taste ,0.0
22107,alexmccook yes those are great ive been looking for one too i think ill get one around christmas on a german christmas market ,0.0
22108,depression is waking up on your day off and already being to mentally exhausted to even play games on your computer so you sit there and browse youtube and reddit in bed for the next  hours and the best part you never go back to bed since you never left it in the first place,3.0
22109,it was never fair recently me and my partner broke up we have the most gorgeous daughter  legally the childs custody goes to her mother all the rights goes to her  ive read articles about fathers rights and i am aware how long and painful the process is  right now i am so sad that i dont know who to talk to i dont know where to go was it really that unfair that as a father you have to go all that just to see your daughter   i work  hours a day to provide for my family i work  jobs to sustain our financial needs i cant even remember the last time i bought something for myself   i know that there are a lot of fathers out there who are scared lost and doesnt know what to do i feel you i feel how much hurt you are going through because i am going through it right now  its a total bs to say that only the women are vulnerable with this its a total bs for the law to think that only them has the rights its a total bs for everyone to not know how much pain it cause to a father too  nothing can describe how hard it is to fight for something you know thats yours and they keep it away from you i dont own my daughter but i own the right to be called his father  sorry i know that this seems to be a rant but i dont know where else or who else to release all these thank you,3.0
22110,is helping paya with remembering what happened yesterday evening ,0.0
22111,of course im almost there and theres traffic ,2.0
22112,need help letting go hithis may be a little long so sorry in advanceover the past year ive made a lot of friends and then lost the vast majority of them it started around a year ago when i joined a group that came to be thirteen of us in total it was really nice at first because id found it difficult making friends throughout the years prior to this  in part due to pretty bad social anxiety long story short i became very attached to most of them but was overcome by resentment for how they treated each other theyd often exclude certain people on a whim slag off oblivious members behind their backs all sorts of stuff i really didnt like i was never actually on the receiving end of any of this behaviour as far as im aware  well i probably was but i like to hope i wasnt  but i really hated that they were doing it to each other i wasnt the only one who predicted the group would fall apart because of all the toxicitymeanwhile i made a load of friends outside of that group i think i was a little too eager because i ended up becoming close to a lot of people very quickly i didnt want that to change however as it made me feel good about myself and having as many friends as i did was very comforting some of them i ranked among my best friends and such what i didnt realise at the time was that i focused mostly on the group of thirteen for varying reasons  i felt included and part of something  they often slagged off my other friends and i didnt want to get cajoled for hanging out with them and  i became very stressed with and obsessed over all the toxicity i spent most of my time thinking about it and trying to help the people on the receiving end of itone case was a friend of mine who i had feelings for he was kicked out of the group with no explanation no support nothing whatsoever in the way of compassion he was quite the liar selfish and generally disrespectful of his friends i thought that there was something else going on so i offered him my ear turns out he was selfharming and in a seriously bad way part of which he blamed me for he told me that he was overwhelmed because i needed space to help deal with my feelings for him which were kinda suffocating and ive struggled with the guilt of that since talking to him took up a lot of my nighttime hours and i lost a lot of sleep my grades fell  especially bad because i wanted my predicted grades to be oxford standard at the time  and i ended up running myself into the dirt because i thought i could help him by simply being there my mood grew worse and i was really in need of support myself by this point but he stopped talking to me altogether and sort of ignored me for a while i asked him what was up and he told me that  after opening up to him once  it was selfish of me to demand he listen to my problems when he could barely manage his own maybe i didnt communicate clearly but all id intended to say was that i was having a rough time and id appreciate it if i could have his company for lighter things our friendship from that point onwards became very difficult intense and it seemed like we argued at least twice a week neither of us seemed to want to cut things off at all thoughregrettably we almost got into a fight at a mutual friends birthday party we werent even arguing about us i was trying to convince one of our group members not to do something that he knew would really upset another one of them the friend who id tried to support for quite a while then had a go at me for that i really didnt have the temperament to deal with it at the time i told him to shut up he squared up i told him to stop he didnt and got more aggressive and fortunately a couple of people pulled him away from me as shocked as i was and mortified that it almost got to that point i would have defended myself the next day he tried to convince me that he in fact was not being aggressive and that i was being rude and belligerent it was at that point i pulled out and told him id talk to him two months later if i was feeling up to it from that point onwards id struggled to balance my care for him my anger my embarrassment and what was gradually growing into hatred i found just being around him irritating but its unavoidable because we go to the same school and have the same friendswhile of that was happening my group was becoming better friends with another group from a nearby school we kept getting invited to parties some of us were more enthusiastic then others that was all cool didnt stop the most enthusiastic slagging off that gang at every opportunity gradually around four of us started getting left out of our group as the others got closer to that other gang fair dos they were enjoying themselves it became a bit of a joke when that other squad started being hurtful to the rest of us and our friends more or less shrugged their shoulders and got back to partying the lot of us became very very resentful as well as this i discovered that i have several deficiencies that were a partial cause of my tiredness low mood and irritation as time went on i became more blunt not quite rude but certainly more concisely honest i became driven to distraction ridiculously pensive more withdrawn and visibly aloof part medical part tiredness from my relationship with the dude i was trying so badly to helpthey then dumped the lot of us and went off and formed a new massive group with these other people and several of my closest friends i made outside the group since then theyve all been more arrogant exclusive snakey rude and just plain mean every single one of them the four of us who got left behind now have a nice little group thats generally decent and im so glad that everyone else in it can get over their resentment and whatnot i simply cant i cant get over my outright anger at the old group members for just ditching us and doing all the things we loved doing with other people nor can i get over my anger towards the friend i tried to help who suddenly is back in with that lot and is having a blast of a time i feel like it is gradually turning me into a hateful person ive come to scorn people i think are fake completely eschew lying and have been in no mood to hold any friendships in a good light since i get home and just go to sleep because i feel so empty and drained from my day and then when i wake up i just feel like trash im having a hard time trusting anyone and im also having a hard time finding the motivation to talk to anyonethis has been a semivent because im sitting here seething and on the verge of tears but theres a point to it im wondering what advice you could give about getting over these feelingstldr  ive had difficulty with all sorts of relationships and the feelings attached over the past year other people who have been hurt by the same people have all been able to let go of their anger but i cant and its damaging my friendships i have no motivation to talk to anyone and im struggling to trust most of my friendships or to hold any of them in a good light what can i do to get over this and start valuing my friendships againthanks,3.0
22113,elainemsheldon i just finished watching recovery boys one of the best documentaries ive ever watched especially ,0.0
22114,had an amazing time in barcelona  sangrias and sunshine and lots of pub crawls     amsterdam maybe today,0.0
22115,would it be worth to see a doctor well i am not getting energy and keep distressed these days so i took the bdi test i got  moderate depression would it be worthwhile to see a doctor or a counselor,3.0
22116,mpagtakhan i care   itll get better ,0.0
22117,blakebashoff happy birthday to you ,0.0
22118,rt despaceco hi our algorithms determined that u may be a suicide risk please know that ur a valuable economic unit helping to maximiz,1.0
22119,to the beach ,0.0
22120,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
22121,i love long beach ,0.0
22122, theyll be for sale on nf when im done  i might twitpic a teaser,0.0
22123,who im you decide suicide,1.0
22124,kikitasunrise am i so unimportant so you dont even write back to me  haha,2.0
22125,my own world i always feel more in my zone when im depressed than when im happy ,3.0
22126,got her heart broken last night  but for some reason i cant shed a tear,2.0
22127,oops i havent twittered for awhile o thanks to my new followers  there are some very cool american daileys out there   daileys rock,0.0
22128,is starting to love and appreciate her life again now all the stress of moving has easedsat drinking rose and watching terminator  ,0.0
22129,happy friday eve everyone  were almost there ,0.0
22130,highkey surprised at how high my abstractness  anxiety is but ok,2.0
22131,iquotm new to twitter so i am figure this all out ,0.0
22132,sometimes i after i use my phone for a while i forget how to type on my computer correctly ,2.0
22133,job interview with the university tommorrow  the shelby mustang is mines if i get the job ,0.0
22134, awesome fortune cookie  i think you really will go to exotic places  hope all is well ,0.0
22135,ccath that is really disturbing why are these children wearing so much makeup posing coquettishly amp drinking red bull ,2.0
22136,help someone i dearly loved just died todayi dont know what to do i feel so sad and depressedshe knew me since i was a baby and she died today of canceri cant believe itive been depressed for over  years in  i was thinking of killing myself but last year i kind of got better until today ive just discovered this and i am in total disbeliefi am always happy on the outside but on the inside i am a totally different personwhat should i do ,3.0
22137,robertsemma loooong way to go before that happens ,2.0
22138,chinaablue thanks ,0.0
22139,listening to new kids on the block ,0.0
22140,joyceap joyceap  nareejo morning sweeties ,0.0
22141,my anxiety is letting me have it today 😫😫😫,2.0
22142,is being treated like st ,2.0
22143,hello there im just here to vent or maybe not im not too sure what i want out of this hello im james im very sad all the time there are some things which cause my to be very upset im currently  i live in the uk i have a job at a electronic exchange store i wont say the name of it but a quick google search will tell you what it is it smells in my shop i love the people i work with theyre cool i dont like the work its hard i work on thursday evenings and on weekends all day i go to school  days a week too i also work during the half term when im not with my girlfriend who i love i dont wanna work there anymore but i love money my family doesnt have much money so i like earning money so i can get the things i want i have some friends theyre online though i love video games but im not good at them i like to stream on twitch i stream pubg but nobody watches today however i got up to  viewers i think it was because i posted my link in a colony surival discord server it made me so happy im almost an affiliate i just need an average of  viewers now how cool is that but it wont happen anyway back to my friends theyre online friends but they live about an hour away i see them sometimes one of them said the other day we might not know each other soon enough that made me sad i love them all were weird oddballs and i love it if anyone reads this thanks this is just a tiny bit of what i have to say but im streaming as im writing this so maybe well save it for another time,3.0
22144,sudden feelings of sadness and loneliness im  years old and ive got out from college in october   months ago i started getting really sad and lonely out of the blue when i am with people often uncomfortable and sometimes i dont know what to talk to them mostly when i talk to someone for the first time i pick my words and try not to seem weird which blocks my thoughts and makes me seem weirder than i am i often think about my high school days and how we used to have fun and how going out was fun now i really cant have fun when going out and i am constantly nervous when in clubs also i feel like people dont respect me and dont really want to hang out with mei tried talking to my girlfriend about this but she told me that im just tripping but i dont think it would take  months should i see a shrink ,3.0
22145,deelah i hope things calm down for you soon   ,2.0
22146,i hate earthquakes ,2.0
22147,fizasuperstar haha wei melayu betul kan sikit whats with the quotdah daquot eh we should have went to clarke quay tadiiiiiiiiiii ,2.0
22148,lol why does the bing a microsoft company twitter account  have an iphoneapple location set ,0.0
22149,absolutspacegrl no problem ive been offline working on stuff almost all day ill catch up with you later have fun with your friends ,0.0
22150,great bumper to bumper traffic and im already late ,2.0
22151, all i gta say is quoti hate youquot ,0.0
22152,eating disorders are real and so are you im depressed obviously and i have an eating disorder the depression makes the ed worse a lot worse its so frustrating because talking to anyone about an eating disorder shuts them down i get it if you dont know it you dont understand why cant i just eat its not about food or weight its about control and anxiety and fear and self harm and a thousand other things i could never explain i hate that eating disorders are so stigmatized the depression forum has tens of thousands of subscribers and is always active the ed forum is tiny i feel like theres no place for people like me to talk specifically about their illness because any discussion about the reality of an ed is seen as proana rhetoric i never try to encourage or idealize what i do but im dealing with it i should be able to say im sad and angry and confused today and i dealt with it by starving myself i dont need or want someone to say this is bad for me i know im not healthy i eat  calories a day dammit i feel like asswhy cant i reach out to other people who are dealing too its really unfair and this stigma around eating disorders needs to stop edit im not anorexic thats not the only one i have ednos theres more than one eating disorder theres a bunch look it up ,3.0
22153,  i closed pure nightclub club tonight great sounds by djhope lights are bright ,2.0
22154,just stuck my depression has gotten worse and worse over the past few weeks im making my poly group upset because they feel like theyve done something wrong because i cant explain whats wrong with me ive lost all my sex drive and even just my will to speak or move i want help so badly but i cant afford insurance so i cant see a doctor of any kind i feel just stuck ,3.0
22155,wondering why im up so early feeling icky  barely any homework today woot skipping school on tuesday doctors appointment ,2.0
22156,ready to go home in pain ,2.0
22157,saw quotupquot last night  really  fun movie good story  ,0.0
22158,indigospirit children are those those ppl who call and leave a msg on vm once a year for mothers day i forget now ,2.0
22159,my moms getting rid of my dog we got a puppy a month ago i love him to the end of the world and back but sometimes i have a hard enough time just trying to brush my teeth in the morning that i let her take care of him instead i do my absolute best i really really try to take care of him and i feel like its helping me a lot but lately my mom is getting annoyed with me and is threatening to get rid of the dog just an hour ago i was hiding in my room with him and playing with him after she started getting mad at me about not trying hard enough and she barged in grabbed him and walked out i just dont know what to do anymore should i just let her get rid of the dog,3.0
22160,i really wanna go home ,2.0
22161,gosh hols not so good got sunburnt today from golf  oh well least i realised i have potential to do really well  boring day tmr,0.0
22162,nancylasocki i believe mental health,1.0
22163,what do you do when you get the biggest almost perfect opportunity in hand but its unattainable ,2.0
22164,forget about me pala yung title nun ,0.0
22165,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
22166,the public beta for adobe catalyst is available  downloading now for a play later  ,0.0
22167,rt kingandrew anxiety should not exist,2.0
22168,mlg columbus live wwwmlgprocom today and tomorrow ,0.0
22169,collectormaniac i thought so ,0.0
22170,officially scared out of my mindsittin beside a cop we dont kno wat  do  ahhh,2.0
22171,andyclemmensen ily xoxo thx soo much for saying happy birthday  go on msn,0.0
22172,syesha in la and  it is coooooold  degrees ,0.0
22173,rt  always manage to make up the worst scenarios in my head to the point i get anxiety even though i know it would never ha,1.0
22174,am i falling into depression hi reddit and the subi literally have no one to talk to and i felt like i need to vent i hope its ok here i hope someone might be able to give me some input regarding my troubles im going to tell you my story i apologize for any grammatical errors as english is not my first language im also sorry because a lot of my text might come off as incomprehensible ramblingi have always been a melancholic person sadness is my natural state sort of not overwhelming kind of sadness but you get the drill however lately ive been worried about myself and sometimes it feels like everything is falling apartim a man in the latter half of my  and i live in europe currently im going through some big life changes and although i live in a cushy country life isnt all that easy for a youngish person as so much is expected of you competition is huge in the job market and the world is facing many challenges that feel overwhelming sometimessymptoms of depressionwhenever i have questions about life i tend to google it because i dont know a lot of people that i could talk to about such matters it sounds silly but usually google has the answer i noticed lately that google often recommends me a website about depression well today i decided to click on it it lists the symptoms of depression of course i realize that its not just the symptoms that counts but the difficulty of the symptom however i counted that at least  out of  symptoms affect me depressive mood loss of pleasure fatigue loss of self confidence or self esteem feelings of indecision or the inability to concentrate ive been feeling each of these things a lot latelymost importantly however i am not suicidal although sometimes i think that it would certainly be easier to be dead i refuse to give up on life and i believe that things will eventually get better for me anyway you get to be dead for a long time so you might as well livehowever it gets increasingly more difficult each passing day to function properly i feel like i have no control this is why im worried i feel like i might be losing the gripnow for the more personal stuffsources of my depressive moodwell where do i even start im not going to describe everything in close detail but the biggest things that happened in my life during my  is divorce yes i got married at such a young age what a fool i am and i also had a falling out with my mother although i later reconciled with my mother it still left deep marks in my mental health i didnt meet or contact my mother for  years and it was really rough for me she didnt approve of me dating the woman i eventually divorced which is reason for the falling out about the divorce it came at a really sensitive time for me i had been working in a service job at an office for  years because i didnt know what path i would later take in life well as it happened it simply didnt stimulate me enough and the pay wasnt high enough to live in a big city or to save for retirement so i decided that i will go into university i wanted to study something that interested me and which would also offer me intellectual challenges and more money i dont really crave for money at all but i just want to be secure thats all i value freedom above alli basically got divorced right at the same time as i quit my job in order to try to get into university i had to quit my job to have a chance at getting into university as theres a difficult exam which you need to study for i also had to find a new apartment far away from my home city as theres just not enough affordable apartment available in the big cityabout the divorce ill be honest im a kind of broody guy and not always a very fun person to be around im a bit serious although i try to be more relaxed nowadays but ive always been well mannered and i take care of people that are close to me i supported my ex wife through depression and death of her relative i helped her financially she rewarded my help by denying everything from me and by cheating on me the worst part is that she kept me in the dark about her ill feelings toward me for over a year as our relationship turned more sour by the each passing day i had no idea what was going on and because of that i suffered a lot its past now luckily but i was deeply affected by everything that happened i got very close to acing the exam despite all the hardships but in the end i didnt get in that was about  years ago from this moment also fyi in my country if you want to study a certain degree its not uncommon to try to get into university for several years the problem is what to do in the meanwhile if you cant get inafter the failure i worked small jobs tough physical labour in order to support myself financially for the year until i could try to get into university again also just to clarify one thing i didnt quit my job without any savings so i wasnt  dependent on the random jobs but i needed them to keep my savings up prior to quitting my job i deliberately saved for a long period of time as i knew that i would quit my job at some pointi tried the test again last year and once again i failed although i missed the mark by a scratch and mostly because i blacked out on a few questions on the test even though i knew the answers also i was too slow with some of the questions so theres that i even filed a complaint because some of my test answers were  correct but i didnt get any credit for them no success there however i would have needed to take the fight into the courtgood thing is that after the  failure i got the chance to start studying university courses for the degree in open university basically im studying the same courses as i would if i was a student officially and when i get into university i can use the credit to further my possible future degree i could even get into university just by doing the courses but its possible for me at earliest next yearthe studies are going pretty well and im getting really good grades i still have to try to get into university again this school through the entrance exam also the course studies are insanely tough i cant work a job at the same time this is what causing most problems for me im a full time student but officially im not a student obviously thats a huge financial strain for something thats so uncertain obviously theres a good chance ill get into university officially this year or the next but its putting such a huge strain on my well being and making me extremely anxious i feel like the anxiety is hurting my relationships i annoy people or at least i feel like it i have to time for pretty much anything else except studying for the courses the amount of material is huge and a lot of it has to be memorized very precisely sometimes i find it hard to concentrate because i worry so much about everything its a viscous circletheres also the thing that im in a new relationship theres been ups and downs arguably she cheated on me once not according to her as in she doesnt agree that she cheated but its been over a year i decided to forgive her this once as the relationship is pretty good otherwise the fact that i have the trauma of being cheated on and now that i might be getting cheated on again messes up with my mind obviously this is huge on my self esteemi just feel like im in a huge limbo my future is uncertain and im going all in on studying even though its very hard to get into university to study this particular degree i cant work and get money but i cant study officially either according to the government im unemployed even though im busting my ass off with the studies the years are going by and im not progressing quickly enough stagnation i feel like im rejected by society and by the people closest to me i would appreciate if you have any thoughts about my situation or similar experiences or feelings you would like to share thank you for reading,3.0
22175,watched ai gokey left  i was hoping for a krisdanny finale i just dont like adam peace,2.0
22176,ssmileey yaaay ,0.0
22177,chadcampbell confirmed that total dns is not available via their delegated account access feature ,2.0
22178,mikesta points to the others praise them ,2.0
22179,how to help someone suffering from depression i have a family member that is suffering from depressionshe is seeing a psychiatrist but she will not even try taking the medication that she gets prescribed if i ask if shes tried her pilll she brushes it off and says that she will try them tomorrow but tomorrow never comes she will also will say that she is too sick to take it she will not go see a counsellor lately she doesnt do much of anything besides playing games on her computer or phone the only excercise she gets all day is walking to have a cigarette or go to the washroom she is very overweight and keeps gaining more and more whenever i try to suggest that she make an appointment for the dentist she has multiple cavities she will say im aware but nothing ever happens if i try to suggest we go for a walk or do anything she gets very defensive i know that if she continues with how she is going nothing will change and she will only get worse it is very frustrating because i love her a lot and i want the best for her but no matter what i try she wont do anything to help herself my mother is even worse and totally enables her my mom works her ass off and then comes home to tend to her every need pick up all her garbage make her food wash her dishes clean my mom tells me that she just needs time to heal this has been an ongoing issue for about  years in those  years ive watched it get worse and worse what can i do to help her,3.0
22180,fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck my girlfriend is mad at me right now over some bullshit and i really cant handle it im on a trip at my cottage and i didnt pack any blades trying to avoid self harm and basically just trying to take a huge ass mental break from everything in life i had a ton of shit planned that specifically involved staying off my phone to avoid any triggers ive been sending my girlfriend like  messages a day still but she only responds with stuff like oh and ok so i just figured shes not interested in talking at the moment or is taking a mental break for herself every night she sends an i love you and its all ok like  days into my trip she stops saying i love you and im getting worried i text her and  hours later she says shes mad at me for not being there for her what i then try to explain the whole idea of the trip and the self harm and stuff and she just stops responding this is too much for me so i did some digging and did find an old unused box cutter fuck me for thinking this trip was a good idea,3.0
22181,  just posting a photo on twitpic ,0.0
22182,roshidoshi the truth will out ,0.0
22183,jordanknight yay sorry about the rain though ,2.0
22184,ok im ready to go home now  in brunswick oh ,2.0
22185,coworker committed suicide and i am relapsing ive been struggling with depression for a long time and with therapy and medication ive been doing great for the past  months i am also a selfharmer and have not been cutting or scratching myself for about a month i know thats a small amount of time but i am super proud of myselfwith that being said a girl at my workwe will call her monacommitted suicide last week i knew her but we were not friends i am sad but i feel like i dont have the right to be as upset as her family and close friends but my coworkers will not stop talking about what has happened i know that is human nature but on some level i feel like gossiping about what happened is super disrespectful i have one coworkerwe will call her louisewho was hateful toward mona on many occasions who is now acting like they were best friendslouise asks every person who walks by if they know any details about how mona died she is asking details about how it happened and if mona left a suicide note we found out that mona shot herself and now louise is wanting to know what type of gun she used i just feel like she is being extremely uncouth about the situation and it is making me uncomfortable i know i am being selfish because this isnt about me but the more she talks about it the more i think about suicidenot that i am suicidal but i have been in the past i have attempted on two occasions and never followed through i just feel like these people are being so inconsiderate of mona and her family by gossiping plus i feel uncomfortable hearing about it constantly i know other coworkers are just as upset with louise for how she is acting but others seem to be joining in on the gossipin the past week since mona died i have been unable to stop thinking about her i admit i thought she was a bit mean i didnt go out of my way to talk to her and i feel like if i had maybe i could have helped her i wonder if a smile from me or a good morning could have helped im so in my head about this whole situation and i feel like i cant escape it i cant go an hour without louise who sits in the cubicle next to me asking someone about mona or talking about it she keeps researching what happens after someone commits suicide and how likely a selfinflicted gunshot wound is to not be fatalits just gross and louise is in her  she should know better i want to say something to her along the lines of why didnt you care this much about mona when she was living but because of my own mental health issues i have too much anxiety to ask her to stop talking about it plus i fear she will tell everyone i dont care about mona etcugh i know this is a ramble but i thought maybe some of you out there could help me talk through this even if nobody reads this post it made me feel a heck of a lot better just writing it down,3.0
22186,nathanmakan not just them  happy travels ,0.0
22187,congrats to detroitredwings for a stellar performance last night stanley belongs in hockeytown ,0.0
22188,bah still at work lol my feet hurt and my nose wont stop running ,2.0
22189,is feeling restless gawd im missing cinta fitri again ,2.0
22190,depressed hi everyone back in the summer of  i had depression i was never diagnosed cause i was just  and a half and scared to tell my parents  but i talked to my uncle whos a doctor and said i most likely had depression for the past  weeks ive been feeling the same way i did in  but i dont know why i just dont feel like myself and i get angry and just want to punch stuff but other times i just want silence and to lie on my bed i put on fake smiles and personalities when i go out but i just feel empty is it easier to fall back into depression when you had it before thank you and keep up the good fight everyone ,3.0
22191,rosaboots i dont know i need newspaper for tiger lilly tho ,2.0
22192,im really scared tomorrow is the day im supposed to return to med school after  or  years of doing nothing but trying to get myself together its been a hard time but i need to move on right the scary thing is this is not the first time i try to return i tried last year and i broke in front of the hospital where i was supposed to be studying the same happened the year before and other two or three times i have a history with failure and im very scared im scared because i can feel it coming its like a demon thats whispering in my ear saying that im too stupid or too weak or too lazy for this i can see it in my head breaking me and not letting me move on i dont know my heart is pounding and im just paralyzed ,3.0
22193,ecosceneinc thanks for the ecomonday love ,0.0
22194,anyone want to get lunch around campus class done at  brain hurts ,2.0
22195,terrancewilson so glad u r back  lol,0.0
22196,thought the heater was on making her room delicious but returned to an ice cave  damn winter,2.0
22197,just about to leave for school on my bikee   o happy days ,2.0
22198,i added a video to a youtube playlist httpstcodkgqervoao prabh gill  mere kol punjabi songheart touching sad n emotional song,2.0
22199,i have a headache ,2.0
22200,starting to feel like theres no point to any of this shit anymore im gonna take care of what i need to take care of but by around the  or third week of next month im headed to the other side,3.0
22201,thinks that whatever helen wears he is sure that she will probably look beautiful anyways  and is now getting ready to go and do work ,2.0
22202,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
22203,rt wazsupabenoja learn to manage your stress or else it will manage you,1.0
22204,snowtigers down  ,2.0
22205,hang over  time ,0.0
22206,callmehaley im sorry now i feel bad for being tan ,2.0
22207, lol worst thing is were verbally talking too ,0.0
22208,is workout making anyone else depressed throwaway herei know workout is suppose to make you feel better and all and it did for me too for a few years but my body works in some weird ass ways and i cant find any enjoyment from it it acctualy just depressed me even more,3.0
22209,i still feel horrible listening to taylor swift then im going to bed again ,0.0
22210,pleaseeeeee ,2.0
22211,mercelleduane hahahaha omfg really thats gud ,0.0
22212,hard seeing everyone with their shit together and feeling like im stuck in limbo ive been suffering with depression since i was  now and after i graduated high school i feel like i have nothing to show for it my depression definitely got worse after i turned  ive been in and out of so many schools and still havent completed my degree i havent held a well paying job or any job for more than a few months meanwhile people seem to be advancing in their career while i just feel stuck i was happy for a little while back in  but after that i started to spiral back into depression i had moved in with my boyfriend at the time and knew my depression was getting worse so i tried everything in my arsenal changing medications trying tms ketamine treatments and even with that i still spiraled downward it ended up with my boyfriend kicking me out bc he wanted me to be self sufficient and but i mentally couldnt i think he believed i was using him but i still love him to this day despite everything ive had to move back in with my parents and since then ive tried ect which helped but ive lost so many memories in the process and have trouble focusing now and creating new memories i havent been able to hold a job since  and i feel like such a loser bc of that i also suffer from severe social anxiety and add i just feel like there is just something i am lacking like i am just an inept person i deal with depersonalization a lot and feel so lost right now i wonder if it will ever get better or if there is just something innately broken with me i often wish i was never born so i would have never had to suffer like this im not sure what im looking for by posting this support advice maybe i just want my thoughts out there i really dont know but im open to anything at this point i dont want to stop fighting bc i know how it feels to be happy and i want to get back to that,3.0
22213,watching whale wars taking it easy tonight ,0.0
22214,rt cyphrkv how can i be sad when i know he exists ,2.0
22215,sassysand  still cleaning out the email ,2.0
22216,why the heck do i have imposter syndrome over my depression feeling like im not stereotypically allowed to have depression is just making my depression worse i feel like when others talk about having depression they mean it and i feel like i cannot or am not allowed to have depression because of how my life is right now like im faking it when i say i have depression but when others say theyre depressed i assumeknow its real for themthe heck its driving me crazy ok rant over sorry,3.0
22217, i really miss dr goodman i wish theyd bring jonathan adams back for a while  httptinyurlcomlvweqe,2.0
22218,boomers not going to the nba summer league anymore ,2.0
22219,caitlynlee nuhhh anyone can go and idk im not slh  lol,2.0
22220,gschan   the symbol of being a balikbayan pasalubong list chocolates sabon spam rubbershoes atbp oops syempre dulars ,2.0
22221,moviespaz im at work  will be there asap,2.0
22222,monday get here ,2.0
22223,should i go to a hospital i cant go a night sober without having a mini breakdown not much i feel and i dont want to do anything when im at work i sometimes fight back tears because i really dont want to be in public all i can think about is leaving to go to a hospital everyday life feels too stressful everyday is like im stuck feeling this pain,3.0
22224,is it possible for a person to cause depression for another person is this considered environmental depression im just curious because every time im around my mother or her step dad i feel heavier and more sad i dread going around her i lose interest in almost everything and at times consider suicide this is a small amount of info but i can elaborate if needed im just wondering if its a possibility will a therapist think im crazy if i ask about it,3.0
22225,its  am and im still not sleepy ,2.0
22226,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
22227,suicide thoughts i struggle with suicide thoughts  i have stored enough pills to commit suicide  but i want help i dont know where to find it i dont know how to live peacefuly without selfharm and sucididal attempts please help me i live in poland so us suicide hotline wont do the thing here help me live my life as i am supposed to do i dont want  to suffer anymore,3.0
22228,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
22229,just looking to talk about someone with people most likely able to relate so this will probably be a mess of a post since my brain doesnt work like it used to but here goesim a  year old male who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since i was  but really i think i just have severe depression and anxiety oddly enough when i was a teen and in early  i was depressed but also somehow very confident and had many friends i mainly achieved this by being exceptionally good at video games and hanging out in a nerdy crowd that actually looked up to me for something that most of society sees as negative i used to be able to get girlfriends too dated a lot had sex and life was good for the most part i just had a chemical imbalance in my brain or whatever however i was also an extremely moronic individual in this time of my life and probably only had this confidence and charisma due to ignorance about life and an inflated and undeserved egocue to now a decade later i am the complete opposite of my younger self i have zero confidence havent dated or had sex in  years now people just treat me like a complete weirdo when they learn about my competitive gaming addiction or even just try talking to me for a few minutes no one gives a fuck that im apex predator rank in apex legends  i even tried bragging about it to an acquaintance and i could tell it made him feel suuuuper awkward i know he was judging me for spending my time on that also no one wants to play video games with the middle aged dude who takes it too seriously what used to be a source of confidence and pride now just makes me feel like a loser all of my close friends have slowly stopped associating with me and the ones who do seem to only do so out of pity i have no marketable skills a low amount of money basically poverty level in the us and am seen as an absolute loser by societys standards when i talk no one listens im seen as someone who provides nothing of valuethe contrast between my life now and how it used to be just fucking kills me i used to be so hopeful and optimistic about life i used to think my friends were friends for life and was wrong every single time when i assumed the connection they felt with me was the same as the connection i felt with them i still feel deep affection for so many people that maybe think about me once per year ive always had unrealistic expectations about friendships and priorities in life that seem to not match with anyone around me ive never really been motivated or cared much about money i just want deep connections with people and to go on crazy adventures with them but i was never able to do that i spent almost all of my time alone in my room staring at a screen and fantasizing about exploring the world with my amazing friends that i dont have anymore or thought i always had but never did i see all of these amazing adventures that my best friends went on in their  and its hard not to get angry when i realize that i was supposed to be there with them but i never got invited i find myself becoming more bitter and antisocial by the day and it scares me im starting to see people as something lesser and as something that only cares about shallow pursuits and what others can provide for them im starting to feel like life is more like a math equation than something with intrinsic value do x y and z to manipulate people into liking you all of these things are just how i feel and i know arent necessarily reality i was just hoping someone here could relate and that if i put my thoughts and feelings out there anonymously that it might help in some way  to any of you that read this whole thing i sincerely appreciate it,3.0
22230,wearing my pout until monday night  cut my knee this morning looks like a burn aka looks a bit dodgy,2.0
22231,im constantly ruminating over what a terrible person i am my brain constantly replays and relives every negative experience ive had that i felt shame over every way ive wronged a person in my life every embarrassing social blunder i have to relive these mistakes a thousand times over in my head for years is this more in line with ocd or depression i dont have any of your typical ocd behaviours and obsessions just obsessive rumination and guilt over things that a normal person would get over in an hour or a day at most i also never used to be this way my personality slowly morphed into this as more and more traumatic things happened to me,3.0
22232,today is a good day was up early and managed to do a piece of work before uni  gym tonightfeels like i havent been for years,0.0
22233,mechellelewis are you shattered after that long week  thats a pity about tomorrow night ,2.0
22234,for a small cat she has very sharp claws its so out of character for her too  ,2.0
22235,xpecktus foxnews please seek mental health,1.0
22236,brandystrippers oh no oprah jumped in front again ,2.0
22237,    answer please  hahaha,0.0
22238,is a tad bit upset shes missing her hubbys soccer game ,2.0
22239,calvinfleming americanlatina thanks guys ,0.0
22240,glad mi chicas made it safe  puerto rico amp miami have fun ladies crystylepoppin lailasha im off  denver ,2.0
22241,furrytom lol no but i was a very bad under ager ,0.0
22242,chefrosebud thank u so much chef rosebud keep it up im loking forward  more good recipe in ur show quickfire mwuahmwuahgod bless ,0.0
22243,i want to fight my anxiety  i cant even enjoy my day out and end up upset all day ,1.0
22244,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22245,i can strike bak at you  ,0.0
22246,really hard to beat those big guys  ,2.0
22247,im worth it ,0.0
22248,im writing a screenplay its called the life and times of eunice baldrich i really like it so far ,0.0
22249,all up i had a good day  miss you love you xxxx,0.0
22250,stewartkris i cant believe someone trashed ur account  so lame ugh  ppl but now u have a new one  hooray just wanted to say u rock,0.0
22251,raindelay id be happy if rr just lost her voice ,0.0
22252,to all the avenue kids hi ,0.0
22253,bluejays fantastic effort you guysthat was sad and very disappointing you need to get a check and regroup fast ,1.0
22254,youngq it wasnt tweedeck sweetielmaothe army crashed twitter again  arent you proud of us thank jon for saying quotnakedquot lol,0.0
22255,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
22256,i dont think ive ever had such a bad anxiety attack in my life i dont know what to do,2.0
22257,amyyyox mines is aswell ,2.0
22258,having a difficult time trying to put a different picture upp ,2.0
22259,irasistible oh no drink lotsa fluids and see the doc if it gets worse its a bad time to be sick ,2.0
22260,i cant lift my left arm ,2.0
22261, awesome facebook apps for designers   follow your art ,0.0
22262,just finished bowling with my family  its definately not the same as with my friends,2.0
22263,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
22264,woke with a queasy stomach and couldnt eat breakfast now im starving ,2.0
22265,high distinction  last day with alicia ,0.0
22266,i almost hit a lady in the parking garage i bet the would have ruined her weekend ,2.0
22267,download this weekend cant fucking wait ,0.0
22268,first time using twitter by phone ,0.0
22269, its not a good thing when shopping sucks im sorry ,2.0
22270,it has been a very long lonely day ,2.0
22271,had a pretty good day today but missing evemayboi very muchly  iloooveyooubabe xo,2.0
22272,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,0.0
22273, btw why r u sending direct messages ,0.0
22274,sophieiszeus ive had depression since i was seven and thats when i first wanted to kill myself life is a bitch sometimes,2.0
22275,going to shop n save with shaunte ,0.0
22276,im confused ,2.0
22277,doesnt feel good ,2.0
22278,haha hey syd mine is candidcamer yep going out of town  miss yal and check email,0.0
22279,day  of this and day  of this not doing to well with either so far but it will get better right not to mention day  of missing you ,2.0
22280,queria jogar the sims  ,2.0
22281,hii people i cant sleep ,2.0
22282,i wish that i could opt out of living i dont want to kill myself but i would rather not live either i dont think im equipped mentally to have a healthy social life and life in general i would rather not have children i dont have any goals i dont want to work for  years i dont want to do anything i just want to quit log off opt out however thats not possible and thats part of why im hopeless ,3.0
22283,rt foxfooty juliagillard opens up to  about the mighty westernbulldogs politics and mental health dont miss it tonig,1.0
22284,damn placei hate it ,2.0
22285,getting the hair done ,0.0
22286,man fuck twitter  its being a bitch with my phone still,2.0
22287,zairin oasis is good ,0.0
22288,forbes celebrity  power list  jolie  winfrey  e  knowles girl power  ♫ ,0.0
22289,aoibhe   well i couldnt get a real clear shot but ive got the best i couldsilly people walking through the admitting of the er,0.0
22290,usbtsarmy just heard vs grandfather passed away this makes me so sad since we all know how much he cared about his grandfather,1.0
22291,haaaa  neue budducks freufreu ,0.0
22292,why am i suddenly so lifeless my grades have been getting worse all year and now im doing better than ever not even overworking myself my sleep is fine and so is my diet however ive suddenly gotten really lifeless i barely even talk at school which is strange because im fairly popular thats a stretch but i talk to a lot of people i barely participate in class anymore and i have to force myself to when i used to do it naturally this is really strange for me and maybe if i find out why i can go back to actually living,3.0
22293, no katie im sure your paper is gonna rock ,0.0
22294,ive never told anybody all of this very long read about a year ago i lost my mom she was a strong woman who lost her way a few years back due to getting sick with cervical cancer her husband apparently has hpv and never told her mom had to have surgery to remove a piece of her uterus because of this however during the procedure the surgeon screwed up and punctured one of her internal organs mom spent some time in the hospital and eventually made it home sooner than later this was a scary time for me i lost my dad when i was young and my mom always referred to me as her protector and rock little did she know she was mine the following years were difficult for my mom not long after her surgery grandma passed moms heart was broken but she got back on her feet and tried to get back to her ways after grandma passed there came the usual sibling fall out over stuff from the estate in my opinion it was handled unfairly but i suppose there are always three sides to a story a few months after moms husband moved his daughter into the house because she was homeless if anybody ever needed help my mom was always the first person to offer – even if she needed help herself it wasnt long before the daughter started to live her lifestyle of pill popping and thotting around into the home and moms husband growing defensive over his daughter for context life wasnt easy for us growing up but we worked with what we had and made the best of it we were raised to be honest and hopefully good people but at the very least we were raised with respect for ourselves and especially others the daughters behavior was absolutely despicable and with no support from her husband on the situation my mom got very depressed she essentially became bed ridden as her muscles became weak from constantly staying bed moms depression led her to start smoking again – something she had stopped after her cancer scare i would try to often talk to her about her health whether it was getting fresh air doing some exercises or generally just taking care of herself but as will smith would say – parents just dont understand after the daughter moved out mom would show signs of her old self but it felt like the damage was already done she was incredibly out of shape underweight and malnourished getting out of bed was a work out going to the doctor was a work out anything most of us would consider normal was a work out for her while all of this was going on mom started getting plaque psoriasis all over her arms and legs – and perhaps other places she was a modest woman who cared about her appearance the medication she would take virtually eliminated her immune system so she would get sick all the time this really sucked for her i felt so bad through all of moms depression she still tried her best to do for others and be considerate as possible i would spend most mornings with her and let her tell me what was going on with her that day i tried to be a friend as much as a child could be for their parent and an ear and i would always try to make her laugh any opportunity i had with her mom didnt have any friends anymore her husband drove away all the friends that lived near and the few that she reconnected with on facebook had passed away recently i think it goes without saying – mom had legitimate reasons to be depressed early last year i was up late and just turned on a movie to watch when i heard a ruckus in the house moms husband shouted my name to tell me that mom passed away i dont believe there was any foul play – just health related issues immediately we called an ambulance and they were able to get a pulse but after some time in the emergency room it was determined she was too far gone this really sucked over the past year my life has been somewhat stagnant but in a few regards have changed drastically when mom passed she left the house to me and my siblings with a condition that we do not throw her husband out on the streets ill be honest i was in no way ready to take on something like this financially – i should have been but ill admit that ive spent too long trying to find myself and create a career and wealth for myself via entrepreneurship not acceptable but nothing i can do to change the past we stay true to my mothers wishes and allow her husband to stay at the house however not two weeks after moms passing does he move his daughter back in no longer is it pills for thrills  now she is full on doping bringing sketchy guys into my mothers home and trying to steal my dead mothers belongings completely unacceptable and quite the culture shock cigarette smoking throughout the house is the norm now which i suppose would be fine if i smoked the house smells like pot from time to time and if youre really lucky you may get to clean heroin boogers out of the sink youre talking full on primate behavior so why do i put up with it i try not to im fairly vocal about respecting the house and others in it but it falls on deaf ears im working a decent job but im not making enough to carry the house myself my siblings have their own places they are trying to take care of so i cant even ask them to help i am on the front line dealing with this on my own for the past year now i dont want to paint my moms husband as a bad guy in most cases we actually get along fairly well if there is an opportunity to look each other out – we generally try to he can be a really good guy i dont want anything bad to happen to him and i believe that stands true toward me as well we love each other like family however when it comes to his own family – if push comes to shove you can guarantee he sides with them no matter what thats fine – thats how my mom raised me to be with mine i can respect that last month we got some bad news my siblings and i found out that around the time my mom got sick and depressed they started having issues with the taxes for the house we went down to the local tax office to learn that the town was taking the deed for our home and that we have  months to come up with an insane amount of money or they auction the deed i tried working out deals with the town but they werent necessarily interested in discussing other options because of the amount owed it almost seems like an out from this situation for myself but knowing that the only thing my mother owned in her life and passed onto her children is about to taken from us hurts my soul this past week i started noticing bags filled with my mothers stuff and things moved around the house from their original places i hate the idea of erasing my moms visions for her home or for her belongings to end up in bags i voiced my displeasure and was immediately met with subtle threats im just at my wits end this past year ive been sadder than ive ever been losing my mom being fully intruded on by a drug addict and from time to time it gets really dark however i love my siblings too much to hurt them by doing something to myself i love my friends – who are the most supportive pseudo family i could ever ask for to do something to myself and most importantly i love my mom and the support she has shown me throughout my life and the time she allowed me to try and work myself out to ever do something to myself im hurting though and im scared i dont want to lose my moms house and property i dont want to keep living under these conditions i dont have the money to talk to a lawyer to figure it all out my credit and assets arent good enough to get a loan completely my own fault and i feel like i really dropped the ball in life because of this ive never told anybody all of this bits and pieces yea but i just really needed to vent maybe because im a guy i feel like some things are too personal to talk with friends about but i dont know im just sad i dont know what to do and i dont want to fail my mom im just really sad if you made it this far thank youedit spacing lol,3.0
22295,olliecrafoord    i appreciate good donuts too where did you go,0.0
22296,its  gd morning all gd night me ,0.0
22297,toriar dabr is immune from such things im pleased to report ,0.0
22298,tobywankenoby awh another late night buyer  a gift and a curse eh miss u tobe,2.0
22299,ladyglock yeah the us is ass backwards like that hopefully the rick rubin connection can get them some press but i doubt it ,2.0
22300,sặc mắt mơ màng kiểu gì ch�n install updated amp restart thế nào lại thành install update amp shutdown gi� cái server nó im lìm rồi ,2.0
22301,  aww brody aww  the wrx has found a new home w rsd amp kirill,2.0
22302,right now it feels like lifes really good but the weather isnt just one week left in school thats so nice ,0.0
22303,today diana evelyn and katy maybe will come to my house  to do some stuff,0.0
22304,collinwolfboy same watching a movie and relaxing i enjoy the feeling   being free from school for a few days ,0.0
22305,waiting at walmart  im not looking forward to today for some reason,2.0
22306,molliemoo now that does not surprise me ,0.0
22307,i am trying to figure out mslandrnet twitter mobile does not work on my phone bummer ,2.0
22308,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
22309,im supposed to be getting warmed up to play football and securing my place in the final at wembley but its cancelled and im gutted ,2.0
22310,violetscruk you too arlene ,0.0
22311,watched xmen movie yesterday not bad as everyone warned worth watching girls huge jackman was exposed in the movie so donquott miss it ,0.0
22312,saturday morning i got a lot of things to do school is so tiring ,2.0
22313,queria eu emagrecer ao invés de engordar ,1.0
22314,playing fuzzball reminds me of wolverine  ,0.0
22315,kariadys  cuz you were neglecting me u forgot where home was ,2.0
22316,woog hey you  i was not flirting just drinking in the beauty of the girl ,0.0
22317,erikveland rigorous exercise is what keeps us wellfit ,0.0
22318,i dont like it so much when burglars break into my home ,2.0
22319,rt manlikekofii the academic neglect adds seasoning ,2.0
22320,laguinaldo twitterefic is a lot better ,0.0
22321,its supposed to rain all weekend  boo,2.0
22322,home  im tired ,0.0
22323,paulajb hellooo my df ,0.0
22324,is being a horrible twitterer moved in to my houston apartment and awaiting work starting on monday real worldnow ,2.0
22325,sogrady the smallish state ,2.0
22326,thethirdrat sounds like you had a good time then  welcome back ,0.0
22327,incapable of feeling melancholy ive been dealing with depression and bipolar disorder for the better part of a decade now a few years ago i found medication that seems to help most of my symptomsbut ive noticed that i feel completely incapable of acknowledging sadness or melancholy i run from it i hide from it with humor and activities i know its in me but i cant face it it feels like my mind automatically throws a blanket over any blue feelings before i can even attempt to process themnormally you might think this is great no sadness no pain right well i dont think its that simple id love to be able to feel the full spectrum of emotions but im neglecting wholeass slices of the figurative emotional range piedoes anyone else experience this has anyone else resolved thisif so was it more a symptom of your medication or another coping mechanism you learned as a way to try and control your mental illness,3.0
22328,leighsdiary do you have the minichamps  of buttons car for last year launch and race missed out ,2.0
22329,my parents tear me down over and over my parents inflict depression unto me i cant do anything like call the cops because its not that bad but we have a trust relationship that keeps being formed and broken again and its real sad  my mom sometimes tries to hug me and ill say no im in a really bad spot with her right then  i am forced to and at the moment i hate her  i want her to die and weeks after forcing hugs  and going out for ice cream something horrible happens between us and i feel so devastated   i want to avoid her but cant  the cycle is forced to go in a loop because of her  im never stable  i want to have a good time with life but cant  i need to wait until i can go to college or move out,3.0
22330, ,2.0
22331,will be doing the dishes now and clean up my apartment and after that ill watch quottwilightquot ,0.0
22332,rt samaachaarr luv affair attraction r not a taboo fully accepted in our society in these days bt if teenagers n youngsters every se,2.0
22333,has just woke up and is shattered but still loves ben mansfield andrew lee potts  robert pattinson ,0.0
22334,last week in the dmvi love you all so much embarking on a journey that was destined and created for me ,0.0
22335,ssri adjustment  weeks and feeling worse so i am just over  weeks into taking an ssri i thought i was starting to feel better in fact i just had a follow up doctors appointment on saturday and i told her i felt  better and she was impressed the side effects i have are feeling woozy and anxious but i feel those are tolerable as long as the depression gets betterbut now i feel worse again i dont want to get out of bed and i keep zoning out i just feel so very low is the best way i can describe it is this normal well normal as depression goes should i wait it out still until my  week appointment or is there something wrong im so disappointed because i thought i was getting better  i thought maybe i just had fast  week recovery and it was going to be all sunshine and rainbows from here i think the disappointment is making the depression worse too i dont want to feel this way anymore ,3.0
22336, everyone i cant send you a dm if you are not following methat hurtssad faced me  do i smell  my  arrid is working,2.0
22337,im so mad the guy i like texted me while i was sleeping ,2.0
22338,whewi needed to hear that  thanks  grader wise beyond your years and thanks hony ,0.0
22339,spent a lot of time lurking here last year this is what ended my depression last year i wanted to die had no plans but i wanted it to happen i was utterly and severely heartbroken id lost almost all of my community through bad behaviour in the past i was living alone in above ground apartment crying on average twice daily for at least  months i had support from my family but they live interstate i managed to get to work but i didnt want to talk to anyone there because i was quite often crying at my desk thinking about my ex or how fucked my life had becomei tried my very hardest to socialise i always had to organise something because i was rarely invited to stuff i hosted small dinner parties which were nice i went on loads of dates sometines they were the only real human contact i would have and i hid my depression a little all the same i stayed in contact with my ex hoping wed be reunited drinking a shit ton of cheap wine each night in my apartment smoking heaps and looking for depression cures on here and googling things like i dont want to kill myself but i dont want to livei tried very hard to ease my depression reaching out exercising watching comedies saw my psych they were great for the short term but did not offer a solution for the long termoh dont try st johns wort it fucks your eyesthese are the things that changed that led to the absolute destruction of my depressioni moved in with other people into a house with a backyardall of a sudden i was exposed to the outside far more often i got back into gardening which kinda took over my brainand i wasnt lonely the feeling of having company never left whilst i might have been sad at my house at least i knew someone wasnt far away i was lucky in this regardi quit drinking and joined aa i used to drink a fair bit never quite realised it was a problem i didnt drink jn the morning etc but i would drink by myself at night get drunk i cant have just one drink all of a sudden i was free of anxiety inducing headaches and found a community of people who really care and friendly i really fucking wish i joined this earlier  aa is great really really great its absolutely worth looking into if you drink more than youd like toi read an article about adult adhd related sought an appointment and got diagnosed  months later this has changed everything i have an understanding of why im bad at life ib many regards and have a framework and tools to work at them it is very much worth researching to see if you have it depression and anxiety and low self esteem are very common signifiers of having adhdi gave my ex an ultimatum choose to be with me or lets not talk for  months she chose the latter but i had to make this happenim now a very fucking happy person im still the same game of thrones watching bbc podcast listening atheist slob that i always was but i am absolutely free of my depressioni will never ever forget how fucking dark things got and i feel for everybody on here these are the things that worked for me i hope it may be of some help for some of youi wish id read this post when i was in the thick of it,3.0
22340,trying  get my misplaced baggage  brussels airport ,2.0
22341,finally lying at my bed very berry tired ,0.0
22342,rt  i need to let go of all this stress anger  and frustration 🤬,2.0
22343,jaredisle no you wont ,0.0
22344,sallyg thanks for voting for heri hope she wins so she can rock it  shell get to go to costa rica amp eat bugs   ,0.0
22345,at my  twitter conference this week guy kawasaki on stage now  says hes a spammer  follow conf twtrcon,0.0
22346,morphiine since the wpp tag is now used by someone else it would be very tough to track down the last wpp  sorry hon,2.0
22347,depression is perpetual new to this subreddit where to begin recovering addict  months sobriety tomorrow  lost basically everything driving licence car flat and gf living with parents in a very rural area closes town is  miles away along with transportation for months coming back to normal i will say i isolated myself on my folks farm and thought there was no way out to get a job no point to anything  depression and anxiety was very high to start with so a few months back i decided to go on medication due to my circumstances the medication helped  i didnt loose my gf straight away but about a month ago now she broke up with me  which obviously crushed me and so the despair selfloathing and loneliness crept in but you know what i decided there is no where else to go but up so i started to bike ride those  miles to the gym and start an hour workout everyday i was going as much as my body could handle until a few days ago  i found out i was being summoned for a court hearing again had one  months ago for being court sleeping in my car under the influence with the keys in my ignition  got three years driving ban for that one because i had a previous driving ban just under ten years ago this third hearing was for a third driving offence three strikes is prison i thought this was all behind me and i have never been in trouble with the law apart from these offences because of my addiction i went into court not knowing what the offence was because the paper work went to the wrong address  after the police called me to say i hadnt arrived at court on my hearing date they said there was a warrant out for my arrest i speculated that i had no idea and that i would be there the next day i was there all day waiting but i couldnt be seen so at the end of the day i was told to come back next week i knew what ever the charges were i was definitely going to be pleading guilty for driving under the influence found out the following week it was hitting a post in tesco and being under the influence i got lucky and they ban me for  months  hours community service and a fine i thought to myself i can either allow this is break me or use it to my advantage i was looking at it in a way to start to get back into society push myself physically more than i have been doing and move forward but my depression is kicking heavily i have the what is the point devils advocate in my ear i have decided recently to half my medication because it just makes me not care about anything and due to my social anxiety  i wont talk to anyone and give off the impression that im arrogant and better than others if thats the way they see it talking about these convictions im discussed with myself ashamed for what i did and feel let down because i allowed myself to get to that point depression comes out in many forms its anger right now and im a practise buddhist so i meditate  minutes in the morning and evening i know these thoughts are a by product of my own conditioning that spirals the depression and anxiety but sometimes its just too heavy not to allow it to have its energy i do believe there will be one day where all this will be cured and laughed about but the bright road can seem dark and negativity is a long running friend of minesorry about the essay just needed to get this off my chest  thank you if you read this far,3.0
22348,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
22349,wishing my brother didnt feel so sick ,2.0
22350,long week end ova   ,2.0
22351,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
22352,trying to figure out what goes on with this ,0.0
22353,mecanto client works fine on  but there is no access point options ,2.0
22354,i cant go back to sleep my buddy spots will soon be no more ,2.0
22355,took a brief nap back to the grind im not sure im going to get this done ,2.0
22356,djscratch  webcam chat on ya website ,0.0
22357,i lost my class ring ,2.0
22358,officialas awww well as long as he isnt barking for heaps long after a while im sure hell settle ,0.0
22359,why are depressed people real so over the past years a big part of my life was finding real friends i found a few thank god but ive noticed that if people are depressed or have gone through some shit then they tend to be more real and understanding but if theyve never gone through something like depression they will be fake and talk shit and do shit real friends wouldnt dothis is just a trend i have seen among the people ive met and i was hoping to hear if anyone else has seen this tooalso side note is there like a human psychological rule that works like this or is it just a societal thing,3.0
22360,better tell me how it goes i wanna know ,0.0
22361,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
22362,liiansz omg i cant wait to borrow it from you ,0.0
22363,rain rain go away come again another day  ,2.0
22364,goodness i am bored i dont know what im even doing  ,0.0
22365,i used to be happy now i am a shell of a person nothing makes me happy i wish i was dead so i can stop disappointing the people who care about me and fucking up their lives,3.0
22366,am slightly concerned that mats exhibiting flulike symptoms with our holiday a mere four days away ,2.0
22367,why is getting help so hard i need someone to help me with my medications they arent working well and im feeling really out of it i cant focus and my memory has really tankedi just now tried to make an appointment with a psychiatrist and the earliest i can get in is june i have to deal with this for half a year i cant believe it this all sucks ,3.0
22368,wasnt able to make it to the mall  the roads were flooded haha oh well theres always tomrrow haha,2.0
22369,mcrmuffin i am so sorry  god id love to talk to you honey similar things with my family ,2.0
22370,im at the best place ive been in my entire life but i still want to die it took  years to be diagnosed for multiple reasons but about  months ago i finally got diagnosed with cptsd major depression and social anxiety since then i found an amazing therapist who i owe everything to and we had a great connection and she changed a lot of the ways i think now i got given medication that works for me and that has given me the energy to get my life together i even have a plan for this year and ill be going to be studying something i am passionate abouti say all this because realistically i should be happy logically i should be the furthest from suicidal but im not i still think about it every day ive still self harmed and want to fall back into that black hole that is so comfortable for me even though i finally have more happy days than depression days i still am drawn to just ending it having to force myself to not do anything impulsive  dangerous on a daily basismy therapist is on leave so i cant talk to her and i just wanted to know why i feel this and if anyone knows what causes  can help this i apologise for rambling and being annoying thankyou,3.0
22371, oh well its  am and im still awake ,2.0
22372, why whole freakin left leg is damaged  any cures lol,2.0
22373,didnt go to class yesterday i was sick left the bus near college and took a cab home ,2.0
22374,i just need someone to listen to listen to my situation please im a  old student at south korea and my family are going through some rough times my big sister didnt get into any colleges because getting into one in seoul is extremely difficult so she studied another year and we are still waiting on the results but from the ones we did get she got denied by all of them my parents have been fighting a lot recently because of my big sister and why this happened and all that  and my family lived in new jersey for a couple of years so im still catching up to my fellow students but i got extremely bad grades so that isnt helping this situation out at all in conclusion my parents might get a divorce and the relationship between my dad and my big sister is going from a close relationship to one where my big sister is scared of my dad,3.0
22375,okay so the new iphone only comes out late july ,2.0
22376,anyone going to america this week i want the new ghostbusters game its region free but wont be on  here for a while ,2.0
22377,betterussell edfringe excellent point theyve been very generous to my social anxietydepression themed comedy a httpstconiyqrmozov,1.0
22378,jenson button   wins from  races   hope he can keep it up at silverstone  lol httpisgdrhuo,0.0
22379,oh no swearbot just told me to stop cursing what the fuck am i going to do  ,2.0
22380,pamelakkinney youre welcome busy busy day for you ,0.0
22381,capilaryveins glee club im not sure  what club are you gonna join,2.0
22382,wishing i was gonna see kenny tomorrowww   ,2.0
22383,philliplarue it was fun getting to hang out with you this week next time you come in well get a bottle of wine to go with our pipes ,0.0
22384,off to brunch with friends ,0.0
22385, email me your number on facebook so we dont lose touch anymore ,2.0
22386,at church god is good ,0.0
22387,listening  my mums marvin gaye cd  my mum is doin backing vocals,0.0
22388,boozing a drive to daman a  weekend seems to end with a boring movie ,2.0
22389,wish i could take my tax return and drive off and start somewhere new i dont know why i wake up everyday i dont know why i go to work or am taking classes at community college i feel like im doing it for everyone but myself im going to school for graphic design but i feel like im settling also i am working a full time job that gives you time so ive been missing a lot of work lately my relationship with my boyfriend for  years also has been good just wish he could pack up with me and move somewhere else ive lived at home with my parents for my whole life and now at  still working on school and trying to work ive realized i want more i want to live in a warm area where i can get vitamin d these new england winters arent doing anything to help,3.0
22390,my phone is the worst  it wont receive signal please receive signal so i can use you again ,2.0
22391,um so my doctor thinks i have depression amp bipolar disorder andor anxiety,2.0
22392,no exams fo me ,0.0
22393,trying to move a calendar from outlook  to ical on leopard not a straightforward job ,2.0
22394,outside doggy needs a walk ,0.0
22395,no more computer  mejust offically broke the cord ,2.0
22396,ianweiqiang interesting combination  have a great one ,0.0
22397,gonna make my choker today hope it turns out well ,0.0
22398,mileycyrus i am so glad your doing a  season of hannah i just love the show ,0.0
22399,barecanvas holly ,2.0
22400,missmaryj i just dm u but ur not following me ,2.0
22401,feeling abandoned i do have friends and family but ive lost so many friends because they couldnt be arsed with me i dont feel i can talk to anyone but my boyfriend but he doesnt quite understand everything theres  friends i miss in particular but they were toxic and hurt me i wish i hadnt grown up because its just too much to cope with,3.0
22402,i want to disappear just when i think things in life are starting to turn around and get better my relationship turns to shitnow im heartbroken and alone and i cant find the motivation for anything ,3.0
22403,i dont wanna sleep alone  someone spend the night,2.0
22404,laweekly i thought it was going to be nicolas cage at first i got all excited ,2.0
22405,rt nvyoome me forcing my friends to listen to sad indie music when theyre in the car with me ,1.0
22406,rt jerikasmile numbers that can help someone suicide lgbtq domestic violence child abu,1.0
22407,karenejones haha nice the main problem with mn is that we have a  month winter ,2.0
22408,good morning tweeter world ,0.0
22409,dimngenes wat u mean by that ,0.0
22410,juliabeverly heyyy just touching base hope all is n looking forward to attending n working the next event so ill b n touch ,0.0
22411, sad part is its already almost august in korea,2.0
22412,talkin bout cancer 😩 you literally eat cancer 😩😩😩😩 ,2.0
22413,im such a blondei was blowin dryin my hair and got it stuck in the blow dryer i thought i was gonna have to cut it ,2.0
22414,thedarkswan i hope i find one on the floor like last time then 😂 im wary about asking bc anxiety but i will try for you 💗,1.0
22415,last exam tomorrow feeling kinda scared yet relaxed also  off to bed now  x,0.0
22416,drskully yeah but they wont let me play on it ,2.0
22417,dvaad that was my first big purchase  so proud lmao nah just kidding,0.0
22418,playing poker all different sites running bad today so far ,2.0
22419,sadness my  birthday is tomorrow im just trying to hang on ,3.0
22420,beckiyagh  yes,0.0
22421,is doing some budgetting at work this morning   ,2.0
22422,definatley sad about the whole jon and kate situation i feel its more jons fault half kate though  paparazzi ,2.0
22423,someone please help me i cant take this anymore i just want to disappear and die i am absolutely miserable and i have lost everything in my life there is nothing else left,3.0
22424,wheres my kitty cat when i need her ,2.0
22425,lindasuhler  hate to see that especially with all the mental health services she needs,0.0
22426,i cant keep friends whatsoever i hate being like this but i cant help it i either become too distant or im attached to someone for too long and they realise how much of a mess i am theres no real winning i think on average people in my life stay  months tops before they leave then i stay miserable by myself for like  months or so before i try making friends again and the cycle repeats the times i make friends i can make a decent impression but it fades so quickly because my social energy is just so fucking low i feel like i become a shell of a person in no time im actually clueless on what to do anymore,3.0
22427,thatchickleelee i love nutella havent had it in a while though ,2.0
22428,didnt go to worknot feelign good at all  ,2.0
22429,my stomach kills yet i have to find a way to still go today cant i just call in sick ,2.0
22430,conns its like that ya noe wtd  i hope ur grandpas ok at least hes happy from the china trip,2.0
22431,is chillin on the beach watching the alabama sunset ,0.0
22432,im looking up schools of library science and information  u of m looks so good but i could never get in ,2.0
22433,aww sad and boujee finally found something too expensive for her,2.0
22434,impossible to imagine a future in which im happy i know the usually response to this is just to focus on living in the now and dont worry about the future but honestly it feels like living for the future is all i have most of the time if i try and focus on how i feel at the moment its not positive its not something i want to keep living for its certainly not a way i can see myself living for another  years like the only thing that keeps me going half the time is imagining a future in which im happy but as more and more time goes on the less possible it is for me to do that it feels like every time i get my hopes up about something im just setting myself up for disappointment and failure i end up feeling worse off than i did before i cant keep living without this hope of something better but its gotten to the point in which i cant imagine a future in which im happy either i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
22435,tomorrow is going to suck ,2.0
22436,⌂❤ vintage depression glass bowl dining room collectible vintage depressionglass glass httpstcochdojwsieq ,0.0
22437,purplesparkle youd get more taking it to the breakers ,2.0
22438,  lunchtime is over and da boss is back in town,2.0
22439,rt princesslysi first base sexsecond base forehead kissesthird base making you playlistshomerun caring about your mental health,2.0
22440,at the house watching movies with the kiddies ,0.0
22441,hate being away from home so this is something i want to kinda figure out i have been dealing with a lot of stress with a relative who is in the hospital and stuff with work since she has been gone for two weeks i have had to maintain her animals and her disabled roommate and its coming to a point while staying at her house i have  been missing home a lot i go there from time to time to get stuff and everytime i am there i feeling like just not leaving i just want some advice to get though this and be able to feel home sick so much,3.0
22442,really frustraring that amazon doesnt let you buy kindle content on iphone app if outside the us ,2.0
22443,damn im sweating doing yoga  lol i feel so outta shape,2.0
22444,woohoo  titanic is a trending topic    i ♥ titanic,0.0
22445,adventurefarm my pleasure hope it does some good   charitytuesday,0.0
22446,luvsgigglin to me  is perfect i was wanting to go to the beach tomorrow but everyone is busy so im staying home ,2.0
22447,i feel so trapped in my life i have struggled with depression since i was about  im now  and have begun to feel incredibly trapped in every aspect of my life i am a teacher and feel trapped in my job so much so that i have considered calling out every day for a couple weeks now i love teaching the part of my job where i get to shut the door and just be with my students but the rest of it is just overwhelming and tends to feel hopeless i feel trapped in my relationship but dont know what to do about it i just want to give up and the intensity of this feeling is just overwhelmingly scary while i have felt trapped before ive never felt this devoured and numb i am feeling defeated ,3.0
22448,mood,1.0
22449,getting frustrated with work ,2.0
22450,scottywazz sounds like we may need a post draft get together to achieve that based on what ive heard pictures always help ,0.0
22451,inkatlinspahnts so did i  i think shes somewhere in my closet oo,2.0
22452,depressed girlfriend becoming increasingly distant and short with me my girlfriend  and i  have been friends for over a year and have been dating for about  months and the first  months were great however recently she began to suffer from a relapse of depression and an eating disorder and she has been extremely distant since this began its gotten to the point to where i feel like im not in a relationship anymore i dont feel loved anymore i dont feel like she cares i understand how depression can affect someone as i suffer from it as well but i feel blocked out shes told me shes sorry for blocking me out and when shes in a bad place she ignores texts and everyone and gets distant however we havent seen eachother much recently we used to hangout every other day but now i havent seen her in almost  weeks and texts are few and far between and i have to be the one to reach out if i dont reach out i will never hear from her i want to show i still love and care for her but its becoming difficult i feel like this relationship is becoming a  way instead of a  way and i talked to her the other day she claimed she has no feelings however didnt specify on what im thinking she just feels numb at the moment but then told me shes not stressed or depressed anymore because of it but im sitting here in the dark as to what that means for us she said when shes going through a depressive episode or a lot of stress she blocks people out but her telling me shes not feeling either of those anymore this is contradicting and i just no longer feel like she cares i dont know where i stand i havent heard from her in  days she used to send random i miss youi love you messages but i dont get them anymore i figured since we havent been able to see eachother much recently we would talk on the phone more but thats not the case i get she cant provide a lot of reassurance or hold conversations much but i need at lease some reassurance and its been hurting very bad lately like even a small i miss you thinking about you i love you text would do doesnt have to be a full on convo am i asking for too much is this emotionally abusive i dont want to break up with her i want to make this work but i feel like shes not putting forth effort anymore shes told me she still cares even when shes blocking me out and is sorry she has shitty coping mechanisms and says she still loves seeing my texts even when she doesnt respond but i feel like i just need some reassurance especially when we go no contact for a bit am i being unfair this began at the beginning of march,3.0
22453,charlenewithit oooohhhh ,0.0
22454,love wish i had someone that i was in love with i feel lonely every night,3.0
22455,last nights installfest dragged a little installing gitcore through macports must have taken at least an hr slow net connection cap ,2.0
22456,fuck thursdays ,2.0
22457,weendizzle just skimmed dwighthoward s blog i dont doubt that orlando cld get the job done but im still rootin for my cavs ,0.0
22458,got bit by a friggin tick today bastard left a huge welt on my thigh  itches like a mofo too,2.0
22459,rt idfkatp it honestly astounds me that i still manage to somehow get sadder like ive been pretty damn sad for as long as i can reme,1.0
22460,kcarruthers samjagger hehe well they do have dinosaurs on them i really quite liked the too ,0.0
22461,krazecoacher dont hate cuz u cant relate ,0.0
22462,watching a disney movie and going to sleep ,0.0
22463,mean girls is on why does aaron samuels have to be gay its so sad ,2.0
22464,as always am crying in the toilet i have been crying for  now,3.0
22465,rawr people at me house are so noisy  makes it impossible to sleep in ,2.0
22466,gettin dressed to get out  ,0.0
22467,i cant do this anymore  years and im still a fucking wreck doesnt matter what i do what i say or how i act no one ever loves me or accepts me im a waste of oxygenthe biggest issue is anything involving socializing grew up homeschooled so my social skills are extremely poor and i have social anxiety i never know what to say and its making things very hard my personality is hidden underneath tons and tons of anxiety ive had glimpses of my true personality and its something that im actually proud of but its rare when im anxiety free and i can see that side of me  i have no funny stories achievements hobbies talents my childhood was very boring and i just dont relate to people my age im lonely as hell and thats why i want to die i cant maintain friendships or relationships very long i dont know how to deepen them so they fade away into irrelevancy people get bored without people life isnt worth living and this is something i just cant seem to get over after a rough night with my thoughts i woke up this morning more suicidal than ever and im afraid i actually might do it this time,3.0
22468,jiou dee chiou ,0.0
22469,self image i feel like i never look good its why i am in the gym constantlyi have been working out for a very long time but i constantly feel awful i am there to try to improve myself although i feel as if there is no end in sight i have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror ,3.0
22470,crystal was right ,0.0
22471,checkin on mails with some nice da da in bground ,0.0
22472,canadabanana you also sent me a bunch of quotpass a drinkquot requests or something like that r u sure u didnt down shots while on fb ,0.0
22473,inluvwithjon oh now is someone being rude to you  ugh  why must they ruin everything ,2.0
22474,rt christobartley the suicide rate has increased even as more people are seeking treatment for depression and anxiety and even as tr,1.0
22475,rt issasassybitch when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
22476,ordered a pitait nevr came why they say the fax machine broke and the driver left what about my empty belly ,2.0
22477,im very bored because today the weather is bad and i cant go out   please help me guys ,2.0
22478,jennypoynter i miss you too ,2.0
22479,is over her stupid car seriously it should have been  ridden off  ,2.0
22480,this gave me an anxiety attack httpstcohzdtgvmgvg,2.0
22481,to anyone outside my box this is the first time that i am actually reaching out to anyone that is not in my box people that are close to youi feel extremely trapped my rational mind isnt winning my internal battles lately i try so hard to be realistic with my actual circumstances and yet all i feel like is a failure a failure to myself to my spouse to my family and to my friends my spouse is at the end of his rope with me and i cant seem to stop this void from consuming everything good i have built in my life im constantly tired im losing interest in everything and extremely lonely despite my best efforts last week i went to lunch with my best friend afterwords we went shopping for clothes the whole experience left me in tears after the  store because i felt so ugly and fat i have gained  lbs over the last year and a half and barely recognize myself it feels like a personal failure like how could i let myself go like that especially now since everyone i know is so healthy and fit so successful in their endeavors most days when i say today is the day i start eating right and taking care of myself it ends with i dont care and that phrase seems to trump everything when it comes to myself my poor friend was so beside herself when i started crying in the car that she bought me flowers and tried with all she could to convince me that i was not the things i told myself i was a failure i work with my mother as a senior caregiver for a  year old patient i work in her home and we split our time  days a week either a morning or evening shift when one of us takes a day off the other has to cover the entire  hour shifts so a day of rest is always at the expense of my mothers day i have been working with this patient for  years the other component of the situation is that my mother and i are very close despite our very tense relationship right now being in my late  it is emotionally draining working with someone who is in the last stages of life its not always noticable even to me but facing mortality  days a week is something i think would make anyone slightly depressed anyways my patient is demented but at the same time shes very easy going so i am very blessed by that i also inevitably think of her as family so knowing one day i may walk into the room to find a diseased woman laying in her bed is always in the back of my mind its emotionally draining to work with my mother too i always wanted to move a way and have my own life somewhere far away from all of the crazy shit i had to put up with growing up but instead my life brought me here everytime my phone rings i flinch with irritation because it rings so many times every day usually always because my mother needs me to help her or to do something for her she is an angel of a person and extremely helpful but she has spread herself so thin her whole life that she feels entitled to anyone at anytime and is never happy she says shes content with life but she doesnt realize how much her constant irritation shortness and bitterness weighs on me on so many levels there are days when i cant handle it anymore and i snap at her sometimes losing my shit completely because i am so tired of the constant nagging its my fault really i never set any boundaries early on when i try to set them now it doesnt work it may work for a day or two but if i dont respond to a call or two or three in a row she will just call my spouse until she gets her way the verbal abuse i would have to endure if i dared to worry her or didnt respond to an immediate question she had isnt worth being forceful with my boundaries  i had to grow up very young i wont drone on about it to sum it up shortly my father had a tumor on his brain stem when i was  he supposedly had a stroke which we now know was actually a neural injury caused by this tumor which delayed the surgery to remove it for  months during which he could have died at any moment as the doctor told us my parents are foreign so paperwork is difficult for them and knowing any legalities is even more so people would always try to take advantage of them financially or otherwise growing up i remember that very well so i was responsible at  to file all the medical paperwork for my father mom during that time worked  jobs and i got my first job at  to help with the mortgage since my father couldnt work for  years despite our efforts we still got a foreclosure so simply put my life is very tightly knit with my parents lives more than i really want it to be right now i love them very much but its tied in with a lot of resentment i rationally dont blame them for my circumstances but sometimes emotions arent rational i feel upset with myself to use that term but it would be dishonest if i didnt use it my spouse and i met at  and have been together for over  years it was an extremely turbulent relationship in the beginning but he and i have grown together as people and i can honestly say that i am so grateful that i have him for support but im afraid that im trying his patience without even meaning to last night he told me he was at the end of his rope during a fight last night and the phrase cut like a razor it was devastating to see with clarity that im losing my hold on even my own domestic life with him and im so tired of feeling lonely embarrased and ashamed to contrast myself he is not very empathetic nor does he really start any conversations about well anything really he mostly keeps to himself and occupies his time playing video games on the pc when hes not working that used to be our pastime together playing games together but now that ive lost interest in doing anything but laying in bed and watching tv after work we hardly spend meaningful time together we may be in each others proximity but sometimes it feels like we havent seen each other in days my parents split up finally it needed to happen years ago but my mothers patience for my fathers bullshit finally turned into fear for her own safety so this time she has actually stayed away she lives in my old apartment now but even if i am happier that they are apart it still leaves  years of baggage that we all have to carry around like a ton of bricks it doesnt help that my bipolar father has this tendency to treat me like im their therapist if im at the table with them talking to me about all his problems with my mom like shes not even sitting at the table with us my job feels like a dead end and i would love a change perhaps working with kids but despite having  years of experience and far more than that from other jobs because i dont have a degree means little to other companies thats my one desire to go back to school im a person who loves school and studying just for the sake of it but now its a means to a better life if i had my life to do over again i would have tried harder to get into a big university possibly somewhere upstate i would have studied ancidnt linguistics and gone on to get my doctorate but that does not seem to be possible for me now too much debt would come from it not to mention the fact that i need to work and have limited time to actually pursue those things now sometimes i drink too much usually its just for fun or to relax sometimes though it leads to my emotional cup spilling all of its contents like last night im not always the best when it comes to finding the right time to talk to my spouse about whats on my mind and i usually avoid it all together because it seems self indulgent to subjugate him to my emotional nonsense i realize that its that very belief that causes me to become unstable and ultimately disgusted with myself in the aftermath but i know all too well what its like to be someone elses emotional dumpster i have made good friends who would only talk about their own shitty life and never ask me about my shitty life im glad to say that ive met some genuinely good people and in turn have made some solid friends unfortunately though they are all long distance so i only get to spend time with them when we are all in one place which is very sporadic and rare keeping in touch with everyone is difficult especially when things are tough id rather not speak to anyone about myself when times are tough because i dont want to be a burden to anyone my best friend who does live here in town is my saving grace she is like my sister and we have been friends since young childhood but lately its almost been harder after seeing her because of how much is going on with her too which makes me feel so shitty to admit shes been married to a man who hasnt found a job in  years she also struggles with eds a genetic connective tissue disorder and is constantly in some kind of physical pain she was so stressed from work last year that she contracted shingles at  years old its difficult not to get emotionally invested and also difficult for me to understand why she tolerates her circumstances when shes clearly very unhappy with them how ironic that i say that when my spouse and mother probably think the came of melooking at my life what do i really have to complain about i have a roof over my head a loving spouse a well paying job i have pets whom i adore and everything i need and yet last night after my tantrum i said i cant even afford a therapist to figure out what the hell is my problem it doesnt matter how objective i am about anything or how i rationalize anything including my outbursts  i know i have depression i just dont know what to do about it i try to get into healthier routines and it works for a time but i just slip back into this feeling sometimes i fear maybe i got the shit end of the genetic pool and maybe i have what my father has bipolar disorder either way the label doesnt matter i feel like im sinking and sometimes thinking about the decision that has no return if i make it crosses my mind its been crossing my mind a lot lately i dont want to die but im so tired that sometimes it feels like my only option i love everyone in my life so much but i feel so alone im so tired of failing im sorry for my long and self indulgent rant but i just needed someone outside my box to indulge me,3.0
22482,do you feel like there should be a word for something worse and deeper than depression i feel like ive been at all different levels of depressed at some point in time i can feel the differences theyre easy to recognize but sometimes like now there becomes a point where im so far past all the stereotypical depression stuff that i almost wrap back to normalish except everything is far from normal i function but im not really living my mind is blank i dont think about dying nor living im exhausted and cant put into words how i feel about one thing or another because i dont know when im regular depressed and even extremely deeply regular depressed it feels different it feels real im far from okay but it feels like a halflie i feel fake i feel like this is a different than just depression,3.0
22483,susanbba you play travian aswell cool ,0.0
22484,martinimisty  yay misty you sound so excited   have a great trip to start your amazing summer ,0.0
22485,nothing i do leads anywhere i dont really know where to post this im turning  soon and nothing ive done has amounted to anythingi went to college and screwed up skipping class and assignments in the end i scraped by with a degree with a minimal grade and naturally found it impossible to get work i tried to improve and i managed to get into a postgrad on the strength of a couple of decent grades i spent  years at it and tried not to slack off in the end i got a good grade its been years since then and i have never even been close to landing a job i got some first round interviews but always failed the longer you go without a job the harder it becomes to get one because of the employment gap i put all that effort into my cv cover letters and trying to be personable but just failed im on unemployment benefit and have a case worker regularly hassling me for having such an employable qualification while not getting a job i have to constantly take on new courses and learn new shit to put on my cv expending effort for nothing i cant even begin the process of moving out of my parents home after all these years i have no motivation to try anymore nothing is changing the worst part is that i would still be miserable with a job i have nothing going on in my life i barely had friends as a kid and i have had absolutely none since going to college i dont hate people or anything but i am just too maladjusted and dont have the internal drive to be with others and avoid loneliness that most people appear to have being around people even family always just feels like an ordeal getting romantically involved with anybody is a total nonstarter i cant even imagine it and ive never had any offers either sure when i was younger i tried to join clubs or online groups but nothing about me appeals to others im weird looking and boring by accounts and its a struggle to have anything to say to others if i try to engage more i just seem abrasivewhen i try to pick up hobbies i always just fuck up i forget things i learned or i lack the imagination to apply it nothing stirs in my head and just doing anything at all feels forced when i was a lot younger i remember feeling things i remember being excited for the prospect of life learning new things and even having kids of my own one day i dont want to die but i havent enjoyed life for a long time and i dont know how im supposed to deal with decades of this my parents are going to die and im just going to get older too,3.0
22486,watching the office is it me or is it not as funny as it used to be ,2.0
22487,dropped almost  into fixing the jeep to make sure its ready for my road trip to connecticut for this weekends wedding  hmmm ,2.0
22488,i hate the us they get everyone and everything  lucky bitches you get jessicaveronica ,2.0
22489,fewww no maths test i got out of it get in stupid homework though ,2.0
22490,love its so difficult crushing on people while being gay  literally getting manipulates by my biggest crush and its killing me inside,3.0
22491,cahlan who cares about spelling when you are facing years of infinite love and joy with this girl blessing ,0.0
22492,rt phautefeuille maïs non lirrigation naugmente pas le risque de lessivage du nitrate une irrigation sur un sol sec peut permettre,1.0
22493,lmstellapr yep definitely hear you speaking of the kettle now seems like a good time for a cuppa with a tim tam ,0.0
22494,sooo sad my bfs mom just dies i am bout to cry ,2.0
22495,i will our annual fair  it�s one of the best things in the year  hope it�s coming soon  i love ya gg ,0.0
22496,tedford check your dms ,0.0
22497,chipro some here ,2.0
22498,ty is in a mooooood ,2.0
22499,annekeothavong well played that got pretty tight there in the second well done ,0.0
22500,aww boohoo lebron couldnt even shake orlandos handddhe was to busy crying  hahah,2.0
22501,livdynamite yeah yeah but i remember listening to frou frou back in my quotneopets phasequot no lie lol garden state was adoreable ,0.0
22502,onebreath ty  enjoy your brunch im hungry only  am here,0.0
22503, it was awesome to reconnect with my childhood friend professorgal after  yrs   it was like we had never been apart,0.0
22504,hahaha iya bener dulu jaman kuliah sering bgt buka ig sakayuv sambil cekakakan di kantin sama temen eh tp skrg te ,0.0
22505,shes the only one that makes me sad,2.0
22506,i dont know why but amish ppl make me nervous ,0.0
22507,enchantedmyst i am soooo disappointed that that is what he looks like btw the image is gone ,2.0
22508,laaacla thanks but i had to get an up to date one ,0.0
22509,dr on mondayhopefully released for driving  bored sitting at home all day,0.0
22510,luigilargo am i really the only one that thinks that lil pavi with a studder just so damn cute ,0.0
22511,rt nbcsphilly alcohol use thoughts of suicide in an exclusive interview brian dawkins reveals the struggles he faced during his nfl,1.0
22512,got great news   fb,0.0
22513,seeking advice  my boyfriend  has bpd weve been together for three years i love him with my whole heart sometimes i struggle with keeping up with his mental illness and lately ive been frustrated with him mainly on topics like getting a new job when he says he doesnt wanna be there or not recieving a raise been there for  helping with dinner because i work in food and i dont wanna cook sometimes or recieving help for myself like being heard when it comes to how stressed i am we all need that hug and ears to be heard just him being there for me as i am him sometimes i feel like he doesnt love me he doesnt know when to show affection i guess so when i tell him he seems to not respond to me doesnt seem like he cares but he says he does love and care for meive voiced this to him all before even had a fight about it but im worried hes going to let it fester and not take any action instead he will say yes okay i will try and then not tryim asking really what should i do ive been patient for so long how should i interpret his actions without over thinking,3.0
22514,is tired ,2.0
22515,i cant get up early anymore my freshman year im now a senior i could regularly stay up until  and then get up at  for my  even  if i needed more time now if i sleep at  i cant physically get up by  for work,3.0
22516,mistygirlph  i think you have one of the most engaging profile pics its beautiful ,0.0
22517,im scared of not being depressed when i find that i feel any degree of happiness for longer than a few seconds i get an irrational fear and idea in my head i think to myself am i still depressed and then thinking about not being depressed triggers my panic attacks and im back to fucking square one its ridiculousits like because ive hated everything about myself for so long that experiencing joy scares mefor timescale context ive been struggling with mildsevere depression anxiety and self harm since early fourth grade and now im graduating high school soondoes anyone else have feelings like this,3.0
22518,sturbanclothing i havent seen my vinyl copy of it for about  years ,0.0
22519,awalliewall  follow eccleeziastes ,0.0
22520,getting ready for dance ,0.0
22521,my depression i thought i beat came back out of nowhere i really need to get this off my chest i joke about being sad with my friend but i never feel like i can truly open up  about  months ago i got out of a bad relationship and i felt so much happier happier then ever i was doing great up until about  weeks ago i slowly started losing interest in everything normally i go to the gym  times a week i go maybe once or twice only if my gym buddy asks me to go i barely eat lately the other day at  i realized i hadnt eaten anything i try and play video games but i just cant stay focused and want to lay down lately i just want to sleep i have been on  tinder dates since being single the first one went ok but after the breakup i told myself i wouldnt catch feelings that rule was broken after the  person i went out with we had an amazing connection then shortly after meeting she had to go back to college far away she wanted to stay in touch but shes been so busy and cant text alot my brain is telling me she just wants nothing to do with me even though im fairly sure thats not the case if i wasnt already depressed this wouldnt be an issue but it just made it worse i really just wanna go back to being the happy positive person i had been for awhile but im feeling lost  thanks for listening,3.0
22522,nite nite and sweet dreams to allim gonna go see if i can sleep with sunburn ,2.0
22523,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
22524,time to go buy a new swimsuit its been like two years and im tired of being made fun of for my granny suit ,0.0
22525,out at mom amp pops house for a while back to the gym this afternoon having a great weekend ,0.0
22526,got to up over an hour early and still ended up with crappy seats  ,2.0
22527,thanks to all of my followers ill catch up with you all tomorrow goodnight my tweethearts ,0.0
22528,jbmyworldxx lets do it this week  well draw or make something and send it over ,0.0
22529,feelin that nasty acid reflux  yucky i hope i can make it to class early enough to get some work done good night,2.0
22530,quick tips to reduce stress and stop anxiety,0.0
22531,the party was great i had fun now am going home  so when i get home i will reply all of you okay ,0.0
22532,nickthevortex good work every word is true too  hows tricks with you mr x,0.0
22533,argh why am i so acneridden ,2.0
22534,rt iswoonforjoon if youre tweeting about the sad news please make sure to censor the members name so it will not trend worldwide 💜,0.0
22535,i know im in rural america  i passed a starbucks and there were two tractors parked outside  seriously ,0.0
22536,theskorpion  it was working fine just a min agonow nothing will load ,2.0
22537,its sad how many niggas put yall in situationships and yall dumbasses stick around,2.0
22538,jchaeyeonara aku sih strong stress tak tertolong 😂😂,1.0
22539,i survived  i think rb spinningdiscs quotkings of leon – closer for nursedoublek at work hope  ♫ ,0.0
22540,audaciousgloop so whats the best venue for auck tweetup then ,0.0
22541,depression is making it hard to get up and go to work what do i do now im just so tired its not even that i need to sleep anymore its that im so fucking tired of everything but i wont be able to pay my bills and my life will get astronomically worse if i dont work so i have to but i have zero energy to every day i have to drag myself out of bed how do you guys deal with this what can i do,3.0
22542, months later  months have gone by  long and eventful months you left me completely heartbroken and empty without reason and still have yet to come to me and explain why you seemed so happy and always told me how much you wanted to marry me and have a future with me and i was doing everything in my power to make it happen the last thing you said to me was to stop trying to talk to you because your boyfriend was getting annoyed im just broken  months have passed ive tried new jobs new hobbies new friends ive tried moving to other states to get away from the place we fell in love ive tried everything and i feel like it all just back fires and bites me in the ass leaving me more broken and lost than before you promised me that youd help me buy my first car back that i loved so much and i ended up doing it but driving it every single day was just killing me now within the next few weeks im going to try to start fresh again move to a new state move in with my best friend since middle school work a new job and be around new people try new things and just live a whole new life sold my first cardream car because i couldnt take it and now im literally starting over from scratch i thought trying to talk to other girls or even attempting to date other girls would help me get over you but it just makes me miss you more i dont get how you just stopped loving me i dont get what i did wrong i know that if we ever spoke again it would just be bad and id end up hating you for whatever the reason you left was i gave you everything not only my entire heart and soul but anything you ever asked for i was your biggest fan and still am i miss you terribly but i know you dont miss me and probably havent had a thought about me for months i love you i hope your depression has gotten better as mine has gotten worse i hope your boyfriend is able to give you the things i couldnt i thought we were perfect but obviously hes more perfect i hope colorado is treating you well and youre enjoying working there and spending time with your family i hope things start changing and i can get over you soon the couple weeks that i finally was able to find interest in someone else and date them they cheated on me im just the definition of not good enough i just hope moving to utah and living with alex and working a new job and driving a new car will help cheer me up i love you sunshine please dont forget that every day is a new day ,3.0
22543,rt lyndamfiller high anxiety exotic places mystery suspense iartg rrbc novellas kindle   httpstcoguxvj,2.0
22544,mauschen you make me really wish my mom wasnt so antipets because he sounds adorable and i want him so much ,2.0
22545,who am i hey im new to reddit and found this place just today it helps a lot just to see there are others fightingi feel the need to tell you about myself thanks for stopping by im now  years old but not on the mental level im still a teen in my headim sharing a small apartment with my  year old brotheri work as a caretaker helpin old people in a nursinghome i like this work since im getting back lots of positiv feedback and the elderly people like me and the way i am always take a moment to hear there storysthats me at work now there is me in privatemy dad cheated on my mom when i was  years old the family fall a part mom took my brother and me to our grandma for about  year untill mom found a place to life we had to change school i kinda lost all connections to my old friendsin became so shy in this new class but still found some friendsat home i started playing videogame mmos the once that request you to play  hours a day to get goodsomehow i started to isolate myself from the other kidsmy mom was busy working to get use  goingmy little brother soon started gaming toowe meet dad every second werkend he bought videogames for us and we made trips to parks rollercoaster etconce ive finished school i started to work at my dads company for almoat  years was a hard time we arqued each other a lot i started to hate myself and him in this time i had no contact to old schoolfriends at all i worked and played videogames at home day in day out only people i talked to was my family and coworkers around my dad i always felt useless as if im to stupid for this worklater i left his company and worked some more years in the job untill my dad came up again with some shit he asked me to come back to his company he asked me  months finally i droped my job to join him for one year it was a big mistake his company failed and we got no jobsi hated him for this movechanged my work from computer electric to elderly careand i love it social jobs are nice i started at a nurse school meet many nice people and saw a totally new world but still no private friends i quess im still isolating to not get hurt againi lerned a lot about the human body and psychology in the nursing school so i went to my doc and told her whats going on in my had she sended me into a hispital for psychology in the comming weeks i lerned a lot about me the therapies showed me its ok to be like that but there is even a better me inside methe hospital told me to go out and look for a therapie un my city to get me goingonce  i left the hospital everything went back to the old shit i didnt tell my family why i was in there it would hiet my mom a lot if one of her sons in thinking about suicide on a daily base thats me today had no girlfriend yet no private friends to chat or go out for a drink friendly and respecting person at work bmi  underwight i went to prostitutes to get the feeling of sex and that feeling of cuddling about once every monthps somehow the suicide toughts are somewhat positiv for me sometimes when ever there is a big problem facing me suicide is my way out around the problemi know that sounds wrong but i cant imagine myself without this toughts they became a part of methats for your time around here,3.0
22546,i really need this headache to go away im afraid to get in the shower because the water is going to hurt when it hits my head ,2.0
22547,i miss my princess  sadness ,2.0
22548,ohbooth uhoh i hope nothing bad has happened ,2.0
22549,playamadelex sad way 😪,2.0
22550,matalino ka na eh kaya mo naman lahat di ka naman nahihirapan eh kaya di ka na dapat kamustahin di na dapat in ,1.0
22551,i feel lost i honestly dont know to explain how i feel i could be in a room full of people and for years now ive felt alone just always in my own head literally just sick of life completely feels like i never catch a break really just wish i could disappear but thats not reality so i continue to feel numb if that makes any sense,3.0
22552,lisctening to the song quot i dont wanna be quot sang bye gawin degraw the song from one tree hill ,0.0
22553,adycoles sorry to hear that ,2.0
22554,special tour dates now  on myspacecom gtgt ,0.0
22555,naaah i think i wont for now though ,0.0
22556,locked since i was  mins late amp they meet in a public school i dont blame em still im now  for  today ,2.0
22557,gutted that after  or so years of healthy growth my yucca plant has snapped and died  ,2.0
22558,siimpliiemoody hey  whats up,0.0
22559,finally a good day spent the whole day today at yankee stadium with my dad and  friends for the first time in  years i felt genuine happiness and a real connection with my dad its a big deal to me because i dont think i ever fully developed a fatherson relationship due to my mom divorcing him as a child had very limited time with him after that the only thing that im scared of now is something bad happening to send me into another depressive episode,3.0
22560,told a friend about my struggle with depression and anxiety after a really bad night where i was having suicidal thoughts i finally worked up the courage to tell one of the only friends i have about my struggle with depression and anxiety and despite having probably one of the worst panic attacks ive ever had trying to work up what to say i managed to do it and to my relief he was really understanding and supportivei dont know if things will get better but it feels comforting at least for now knowing theres someone there to listen,3.0
22561,whats it like being on antidepressants do you just put positive spins on everything or do even feel depressed at all im conflicted about them and i wanted to see what you guys think,3.0
22562,rt  solar 🔋jdoublermrjoe suicide monday✴️☄️🌑🚀🌠💥 ,2.0
22563,whataboutherman im working on it ,0.0
22564,in  minutes ill be seventeen lovely    i wanna be sixteen  ,2.0
22565,paulharriott hahaha tv isnt really my thing anywayi more of a music girl ,0.0
22566,strangegypsy i know ,2.0
22567,rxgellivictor hi ms gelli  thanks for the tweetthoughts  love to live with it,0.0
22568,failed suicide attempts and the aftermath in october of last year i overdosed and had a wonderful time breaking my nose and having seizures i tried to kill myself again after that and ive been in a residential treatment center since then but ive now been sober for four months and so far ive been accepted into  colleges i got my act test score back too—i got a  things are actually improving a lot and im really happy with where i am now i never expected to live up to this point but i did and im doing much better than i ever thought i would,3.0
22569,can i be depressed am i just overwhelmed here is my contextmom in and out of the hospital with incredibly terrible stuff ever since i had memoryrecently moved away to college in the midst of her and my sister struggling but with depression and illness i know this may sound corny for a  year old but i when i left to school i broke up with her and even tho its been a while i cant move on not a single bit its like im obsessed i cant afford to study away so i have to mantain a good gpa so my scholarship renews and even then i may not be able to afford school you can imagine our health insurance premiums are high af so there budget priorities im also not sure about my sexuality because i think im bi but i have only really felt anything for or wanted anything with a handful of guys vs a lot of of girls my girlfriend sorta pushed me to telling her which i guess didnt help my chances of going long distance or even her considering me in the future i just remember her face when i told her  in the meantime i became havent been able to stop smoking weed every day for almost two years and it was something id constantly lie about which at me up really i had felt anxiety and had had a few sad bouts and anxious episodes as a result of bullying in elementarytwo years ago when i started nonstop smoking a close friend comitted suicide it was one of the few boys i had ever been interested in and for someone who had been around the theme  immediate family members attempted it  multiple times it screwed me up i always  daily had thoughts about death perhaps in a more narcissistic way idk but after that were permanently in my head i entered my relationship and i  its definitely the happiest i have ever been ever since i figured out as a preteen life could be unhappy the truth is that i think i have traits of a narcissist i really care about how people think of me i was always the smart friendly  guy in class and sometimes it really affects me when i do something that doesnt paint me in the light tldr family members of a close friend boy i had a crush on and closed about sexuality high gpa to stay in college still cant afford it a girl i think i loved deeply narcissistic obsession with my image have had suicidal thoughts for lost of my teenage years sometimes when i felt particularly bad he became scarily detailed to weed i feel totally inadequateeverytime i walk into a room where i will sleep i think of ways i could kill myself there i promised id never hurt myself but life has just been getting harder and harder and even if today nothing happens what if this goes on for years,3.0
22570,is feelin nostalgicmissin childhood days ,2.0
22571,tweetmyilife dangerousdolly domingueza klaso ridderstolpe sejoke  thank you for your support big hugs det värmer ,0.0
22572,richarddrumm poifect ,0.0
22573,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22574,bruceswalker sounds wonderful ,0.0
22575,sat in cardiff bay watching the pretty boats ,0.0
22576,rt itsashlyperez today my therapist told me the anxiety im experiencing is called adulthood,2.0
22577,suicidal thoughts ive seen a lot of people whose suicidal thoughts are generally in the form of being unhappy with their quality of life which is perfectly valid however i was wondering if a lot of people also have suicidal thoughts related to being unhappy with ones own impact on the world a lot of friends will tell me you have so much to live for but thats not whats causing me to feel suicidal rather i feel like the people close to me deserve better than what i can offer any thoughts are appreciated,3.0
22578,free writing exposed my true feelings first time posting ive been dealing with depression for a long time official diagnosis bipolar ii no meds and usually when im really down ill write in my journala lot of things have gone to shit this week and i got mad at my boyfriend for something stupid last night left the bar and went home alone all morning ive felt terrible so i pulled out a journal to write usually i have a pretty good idea of what i want to write before i write it i didnt today so i did some free writing after a couple pages this is what i wrotei dont deserve any of this ever it all falls to shit because thats what i deserve you reap what you sow bitch you did this to yourself youre not good enough youll never be good enough you should just end it just kill yourself already stop being such a baby about it youve said it a million times youre not doing anything to improve your life of anyone elses so you may as well just do it already it would be better for everyonewhy do i hate myself so muchi dont know what to do im not going to kill myself but i realize i have so much selfhatred and i dont know how to get rid of it it feels like theres two parts to me one part is screaming these terrible things and another smaller part is whimpering back thats not true none of its truei know i should go back to the doctor i know i should go to the gym i know i should get out of my pjs and eat some food these things would help but its so hard when that voice is constantly therenot really looking for anything just needed to get this off my chest,3.0
22579,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
22580,awww a refreshing bath alternating hotncold water  love the feel of water drops dancing on the eyelashes nosetip amp from the lipssss ,0.0
22581,first post i dont know what to do i feel an emptiness inside ,3.0
22582,its sad bitch hours,2.0
22583,robbothan hahaha drive by takedowns ,0.0
22584,max helps so much with my anxiety 🐶💕,1.0
22585, i dont even know its messed up tho ,2.0
22586,cassies with bdkoeh  having veal parm  ,0.0
22587,i just updated my myspace and youtube acount ,0.0
22588,i would gladly trade my bodylife with someone who has a terminal illness overall i have a healthy body and my life is what most would consider fine on the outside its my mental state that is in complete shambles i honestly wish i could take someones terminal illness from them so that they could live their happy life and i could just get mine over withtrade with themi dont understand why people with deadly illnesses cling to life so desperately i feel if i went to a check up and discovered i only had x amount of time to live unless i underwent extensive treatment i would choose the limited time and feel complete reliefi feel bad because many people with cancer want to keep living and someone like me completely healthy physically would find comfort in discovering i was soon going to die,3.0
22589,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
22590,just finished uploading highschool minireunion photos on my facebook ,0.0
22591,why cant renfe realize they would have full trains if their prices came even slightly closer to the friggin airlines  spainrailwayfail,2.0
22592,gotta pee  then goin outside for a cig,0.0
22593,im watching  gramswaiting for this kush to be rolledunfortunately theres less than  grams of that ,2.0
22594,everyone stop i stg my tl is so sad,2.0
22595,real and non intrusive help exists i just wanted to share my story as ive been seeing posts from here more and more frequently lately ive suffered with depression for a very long time but upon coming to college it got much much worse while here i met the love of my life and weve been together for  happy years now and in theory my life couldnt be more perfect but the depression just sticks around like an old but bad friend finally my mom started to notice and asked me if i wanted to talk to someone so i went to my family doctor and had a truly great experience when i told him how id been feeling and that i was interested in treatment he was overjoyed that someone who was suffering the way i was could come and ask for help because apparently he offers it a lot only to be rejected anyways long story short ive been on a very low dose and very natural antidepressant and i havent felt more like myself in years despite only having taken them for less than a month its amazing the difference that something so small has made in my life and the best part most people are off of antidepressants within months of getting on them their brains just need a little time to get back to how they should be i just wanted to share about how real natural nonintrusiveselfaltering help is out there and can make a huge difference ive never been happier in my  years and ive never felt more like the person i knew deep down i was meant to be please never be afraid to ask for help theres always something that can improve your depression and i hope everyone here finds that the same way i did ❤️❤️❤️,3.0
22596,i have a new camera   happy days,0.0
22597,i miss my macbook ,2.0
22598,wants some company ,2.0
22599,i would benefit greatly from someone encouraging me everyday but i cant burden anyone to do that i tried googling a resource for just some basic motiviation i could get everyday but got no where rgetmotivated just depresses me even more usually what can i do i grew up being put down constantly and now i need someone else to tell me its okay and i can do what im supposed to be doing,3.0
22600,the girl sitting opposite me as truly horrific skin poor lass ,2.0
22601,shellymanwaring amen to that  two multi day england trips full of multi location meetings ill be knackered by sunday night,2.0
22602,lifes good so far ,0.0
22603,juliewunder good morning julie hope you had a great weekend you look great today  take care ps please make the rain go away lol,0.0
22604,charlescolon im at jfk now  i will miss you colon but we will be reunited soon and it will feel so goood,2.0
22605,rt andrecrosdalee i stress about stress before theres even stress to stress about,2.0
22606,cherry spritestill justisnt right ,2.0
22607,fetusatthedisco glad u likey  i reckon that its pretty awesum,0.0
22608,bmwsauber kubica is in  we may get some points yet  ,0.0
22609,dallasnews dummy dale is always mad at something his heart will explode from stress when he realizes he is viewed ,1.0
22610,sillajackson me too and thanks for helping ,0.0
22611,hhosman you could also make the argument that packing is going to put three states between us ,2.0
22612,working on a new app ,0.0
22613,studying for a test  but excited to have finally found a place to live,2.0
22614,is gutted as i had the opportunity to go to vegas for the hatton fight this weekend but couldnt make it because of stupid eye infection ,2.0
22615,daily tilda feature kitties on tildas blog we discussed  made an exception   httpwwwtildaintheburbscom,0.0
22616,rooferonfire oh good i really got nervous   checked your blog  i agree with everything i read there we have a lot in common,0.0
22617,its summer time and that means loads of justice league unlimited and shipping jl couples while staying inside and away from the sun as much as possible and crying to sleep because fictional characters have more realistic romance scenes than me ,3.0
22618,hello fellow depressed poses hi im  ive been suffering with depression since i was  i had abuseneglect in my childhood im struggling to find reasons to continue on nothing is great in my life i go to a shitty college where im just barely getting by i have absolutely no friends i dont have a job and have never had an internship im such a loser i cant even post on instagram or facebook because i dont want anyone to look at me or see what i have to say i have no hobbies or skills im not particularly attractive or intelligent and im not good at anything that ive tried im in a almost  year relationship but im u happy hes much older than me and he abuses me but i wont leave because i know no one else would ever love me or put up with all of my issues basically im worthless and a waste of space im not special in any regard and i wont accomplish anything in my life its hard for me to accept this,3.0
22619,eddiebaseball lol i was just thinking that ,0.0
22620,cecilyk its fine to call attention to the accomplishments that you are proud of just dont gloat and its all good ,0.0
22621,whats wrong with the tumblarity i was active all day yesterday and i lost  points   artpixie same ,2.0
22622,and yeah im also having a sore left knee again  hopefully its gone by tomorrow hurts bad at the moment maybe some sleep helps p,2.0
22623,stacijshelton just woke up brewing some fresh coffee amp focusing on the good things in my life  thanks for asking amp have a good sunday,0.0
22624,im so proud of seanboyder he got his first job at the hollywood bowl  make that money make make that money money,0.0
22625,rt  ptsdの神経科学。レビュー。brain circuit dysfunction in posttraumatic stress disorder from mouse to man,2.0
22626,rash has gotten worse amp begun to itch  why is my life so terrible right now,2.0
22627,is watching thunder storms and wishing he was here ,2.0
22628, when are you guys coming back to melbourne i missed out last time ,2.0
22629,i had to skip work for some days because of tachycardia induced by anxiety and now i feel guilty because i skipped work because of that is it normal i feel this way its like i shouldnt have skipped work because of that although i had crises where i could barely walk or talk and the days i skipped were recommended by the doctor but now i feel like i am failing at work,3.0
22630,hopefully someone else can relate to this i truly cant do anything except just be there yea im alive but it doesnt feel like it my time is passing so fast but so slow at the same time i am not really living because of the gate i put around myself the anxiety and depression holding back my true self i can try to blame it on my family or hardships ive experienced but its all my fault the only times i feel truly feel alive is with substance maybe smoking weed or drinking or doing something your not supposed to these substances take my fence down and everything lifts of my shoulders and i can live there in the moment without other thoughts pushing me down i can be my true self and feel good for a moment but no everything is against me and substance together my family and friends want to protect me from it and i get it i never expected myself to be here craving something to cloud my brain making me forget the thoughts and feelings i dont want to deal with i thought i would be a happy teen but as i grew older i knew my fate and i know im desperate and looking for any possible thing that will temporarily make me feel better im delusional though i thought every teen goes through this but no  there are actually genuinely happy people i know there are normal hardships people experience but mine are far past normal at first i try to deny it i pretend im fine normal and all right next i accept that somethings wrong but i tell myself its good and that being different is good a lot of smart and famous people were trouble and were sad after that i try to find something to make me forget how i feel its temporary but easier than facing myself and aknowledging that im a wrong selfish horrible human being that is always focused on myself and hurt people because im hurting and want someone else to feel the pain i feel because im scared and lonely i do need help i receive help i dont take it as if i want to be like this but i dont i know eventually if i continue this way i will ruin my life and maybe thats what i need to change for once other people and things will try to help me but i know i can only change myself,3.0
22631,last exam  summers gonna b awesome ,0.0
22632, oh god you almost got kidnapped ,2.0
22633,sad gurl is sad and really wants a pet opossum or raccoon but cant have one,2.0
22634,just got homeonly to leave again tomorrow ,2.0
22635,me before every concert i go to httpstcofeljbhyqsz,1.0
22636,theawfultruth happy birthday taryn ,0.0
22637,typical sisters night watching indian chick flick  love it,0.0
22638,tegan ans sara are so much better acoustic repeat might sleep studying is sucking  weeks till holidays ,0.0
22639,rt stickojay im rlly sad amp hungry rn,2.0
22640,i want to change my nickname but still dont know what should i replace it with any idea ,0.0
22641,robinwauters leolaporte is great ,0.0
22642,preparednesspro gotta prepare for lack of our favorite food right cheese doesnt keep so well though  gno,2.0
22643,feel sooo bad i got matty sick now im at work and hes at my place trying to recover welcome to toronto matty ,2.0
22644,its been an hour since i took a benadryl why am i still awaaaaaaaaake ,2.0
22645,not sure what to do anymore ive spent the last  years of my life depressed now and ive accomplished nothing in that time i have no job and will be getting kicked out in a few weeks im not sure what i should do it takes me so much effort just to get up in the morning honestly i just want to sleep forever my family have given up on me and im pretty sure they all dislike me at this point i wasnt always this wayhow am i supposed to find a place to live with no money and no job when i have nobody to help me if i told them how i felt or that i tried to take my own life they wouldnt take me seriously or theyd think that i was lying im at the end of the rope and im contemplating letting go ,3.0
22646,wrecklesslyhis bahah whateva dude txt me now plz so i can have your  i dropped my blackberry in the washer ,2.0
22647,i  and feel  i can tell im  hav a bad day  but my makeup is rly  my eyes  huge  l  t ll  y   f  ll,2.0
22648,i want to be done im just so tired of dealing with this i cant do a single thing without it falling to pieces im a failure i held my service pistol in my hands  years ago and considered it and chickened out i shouldnt have whats the point ,3.0
22649, good morning  ,0.0
22650,yelling into the void i need to vent have no idea where else to do it so i made a new account just for this i just need to say something somewhere i hate myself the most i literally had no solid friend group ever in my entire life all my friendships ended in disaster the first time it ever happen i thought that these people werent right for me and when i move to a new place things will get better this is not true at all i now realize that the problem is with me and not other people its the same cycle over and over again i never had a best friend cuz no one wanted to be friends with me i seem cool at first but once people get to know me well they develop a hatred for me its not that im mean or an asshole the most common thing i heard is that i am immature and i act like a child im never invited to anywhere no one ever texts me i care so much about others whenever anyone ask help with anything homework blah blah blah i go out of my way to help i want friends and i genuinely care about them but no one ever cards or give a shit about me im so socially akward i have no idea how to make meaningful connections with people people are either passive agressive towards me or fake nice to me i cant distinguish between anything anymore when ever someone is nice to me i think they are fake nice why am i so cynical why do every single social interaction keep me awake at night i can never express my feelings fully even this post doesnt really get across what im trying to say maybe this post will just come across as some selfish pethetic guy i dont know anymore i want to tell someone how i really feel about myself and the world but even if there is that someone i wouldnt be articulated enough to express it and that person would likely misinterpret what i sayi hate myself i just want to go quietly no one has to notice but just thinking about what that would do to my parents and how they will have to fly here and take my stuff and attend my funeral i cant,3.0
22651,today z my classes last day wt me meet my new class today and i have a mri to go tobzzy day  i wish i could see her,2.0
22652,depressed without feeling sad hi guys since i was like  maybe  now ive been extremely apathetic towards everything in my life i have no motivation towards my hobbies no interest in sex feel like i have no energy  and even the smallest tasks feel insurmountable i also feel guilty and as though someone else could be doing so much with my lifei can honestly say that ive never had a suicidal thought i just feel numb pretty much  of the time ive never considered myself to be depressed because i always thought that depression was just intense sadness but i dont even have that i have friends im at a great school doing a healthcare degree with fantastic prospects but i just dont care i do my work because its whats expected of me i used to be able to keep up the facade and do relatively well but thats no longer the casei dont know what the purpose of this post is i dont know if im trying to get people to push me towards seeking help or if i just want somewhere to write about things,3.0
22653,first time posting first time ranting im the past four months ive had two psychiatric inpatient stays needless to say things havent been well for me lately in dealing with si after my second stay the appointment my day after being released to follow up with my doctor she breaks up with me broken up by the psychiatrist i had been seeing for over six months a day after getting discharged from the psych ward not a great feeling on top of that im trying to find a replacement ive run into the obstacle of many doctors not accepting patients with recent hospital stays what kind of fucked up shit is this im too high risk for them im obviously too high risk for my fucking self and i need fucking help i did finally after a month of rejection and heartache find someone who can get me in on tuesday im just still so beaten down over this how is this ethical how is this allowed id say if anything patients with recent hospital stays are obviously in the most need why is it okay for mental healthcare professionals to turn us away to refuse us treatment because our depression goes deeper than theyre comfortable dealing with has anyone else ran into this problem im in a worse off place now than i was leaving the hospital being broken up with by your psychiatrist is a really shitty feeling topped with every psychiatrist in a  mi radius refusing to see my crazy ass im just so over the mental health care system i feel like im forever fighting a losing battle ,3.0
22654,the tonight show with conan obrien tonight  wooooooo ,0.0
22655,doctor appointment i hope im gunna  be okayyy ,2.0
22656,rosemcflyxdanny fortunately i just have one thats enough ,0.0
22657,of course i was the one who had to be born like this i had to be the ugly onei had to be the depressed onei had to be the hateful onei had to be the hated onei had to be the unlovable onei had to be the awkward onei had to be born into this familyfuck it all,3.0
22658,why is my new firewall so stupid  because of it i cant visit the website i want to visit the most,2.0
22659,bah direct messages are broken ,2.0
22660,why cant i freakin finish  ffte once and for all ,2.0
22661,rt pompipal addendum so i didnt realize there were musical termsconcepts related to pythagoras please let me redeem iori and inclu,0.0
22662,nathanmcdonald hopefully better battery life would be happy if it equaled a blackberry on this point ,0.0
22663,am i evil i could never think to do the right thing currently im facing  felonies and ever since i was a kid ive always been troubled i was never able to express emotion where emotion should be expressed but i do hate that a lot about myself but am unable to change it a friend of mine came crying to me telling me she may have ovarian cancer but i didnt even think nothing of it i kind of just wanted her to go home because it way kind of irritating me and in my head i knew at the time i am wrong for thinking that but i was unable to think any other way it seems as if her cries were falling into deaf ears,3.0
22664,wanna kill myself but im afraid of failing ive had this recurring thought of killing myself alot lately and i always suppress the feeling because im deeply afraid of me failing so i always put it off by saying maybe tomorrow will be better but it just gets worse at this point im on my last days i dont see myself living for much longer just hoping i dont mess this up somehow like i did everything in my life,3.0
22665,i feel like im losing myself again for the first time since starting meds last july i started fluoxetine and it worked great up until these last couple months i feel myself slipping away again ive been having suicidal thoughts again and im seeing old patterns repeat themselves i dont know what to do i just want to curl up in a ball until it feels okay again i feel so alone ,3.0
22666,rt brokeslut i just want to someone to cddle the fck out of me im sad and lonely,1.0
22667,conflicted i would kill myself but im too scared and i would ask my grandma to put me in the hospital but im entirely too self conscious and ugly to be trapped in a room with a bunch of strangers for  weeks idk what to do anymore i feel like im rotting,3.0
22668,going outsidemaybe ill work on my tan ,0.0
22669,workingg till  boo ,2.0
22670, id rather have social anxiety than think watching the office makes me morally superior to everyone,1.0
22671,i was playing hideandseek with sleepand he won time to give him the prize  night,0.0
22672,she makes me feel like shit my gf said i deserved all the games she played on me because i told her about my past only when i knew i could trust hershe said i deserved to not get her attention or timeyet she stayed with meand she continued to play games with meshe continued to hurt me im dying im suffocating i gave her all my love and care and ive always been there for her but i feel like i dont matter i feel like i never matteredall that mattered was her getting back at me for one mistake i made which i tried to make up for and apologized sincerelyi deserve to die im broken im done im done with life no one has ever made me feel like so much shit idk why in writing this i just want someone to hear me i want someone to listen i want someone to know me i want to someone to know i exist ,3.0
22673, unfortunately not   add and a migraine arent a good mix,2.0
22674,piercedbrat aww thats sad ,2.0
22675,no matter what happens in my life i cant ever go to bed happy that i was alive that day no matter how much fun ive had that day how many cool experiences i have the moment im alone with my thoughts i fall back into a deep state of self loathing and miseryits so exhausting im tried of being like this i thought therapy would help me with this but it honestly did not change a thing i feel slightly better on the day i have the session but the next day im back to square oneat the beginning of  my life started getting better i was doing good in school i lost weight and i experienced love for the first time it was probably the best  months of my life but even then my depression never really went away it was always behind the corner ready to fuck up my whole daythen everything went to st again my depression came back at full throttle the person who i thought was going to be the love of my life dumped me and i dropped out of school because i could not get out bed anymore and when i did i would just spent  hours sleeping on the desk or contemplating suicide until class was over and now im here depressed unhealthy jobless and horrifyingly unattractive no study title no qualities nothing im a walking corpse,3.0
22676,more than a third of teenage girls experience depression new study says  the washington post httpstcopczynzazzg,2.0
22677,i need help helping my fiancee my fiancee has diagnosed depression and anxiety she has told me that she has been very depressed for a while now and i can see itshe told me she is frustrated with me and that me telling her that i am here for her and and to tell me what she needs is not helpful she said she feels alone and that i dont feel like this is a big deal   i dont know how to give her the support that she needs or how to help her can someone help me understand what she is going through and what i can do to help her,3.0
22678,baitlynsays did you talk to spencerpratt ive never missed having a cell phone so much in my life ,2.0
22679,anywayz im gonna look for a cold can of coke its warm and stuffy in the office ,2.0
22680,jaiduke just the curve  now ima get the new one  sux being wout im havn withdrals  it doesnt go on  alll i cant get into it,2.0
22681,literal summertime sadness ever since i can remember my depression goes to an all time high in the summer i hate it i feel so down mentally starting in aprilseptember its like evryone is having so much fun and im in the house barely able to get out of bed i also just lost my job recently so i know this summer is going to be awful does anyone else feel like this i have no idea why it happens,3.0
22682,allison its the second time ive gotten sick in three days  i had too much fruit in a smoothie the  time amp now ive had too muc ,2.0
22683,its so beautiful out and im stuck at work til  ,2.0
22684, spaz rentiagraaff  thats like heavy cool like you cant touch it so cool it is ,0.0
22685,having an emo moment going through a hard time need some fun tired of tennis shoulder hurts damn volleys needs a hug stayin strong ,0.0
22686,uncertainty its been a rough year for meabout a year go we found out that a very close friend of mine sexually assaulted my sister i still havent dealt with the fallout from that because ive been making sure my sister was okayanother very close friend of mine just passed away hes had health issues his whole life and since october he has been in and out of the hospital his funeral was monday he was  months older than meabout a month ago my brother attempted suicide and now hes  in intensive therapy trying to get better for a couple hours until we found him i thought id lose himlisting all these events seem like horrible writing for a background story in some crappy drama but its just been a tough year i finish this semester in a week and these past few weeks have been really hard for me ive always been very diligent about my grades but right now all im shooting for is a  on my calculus final in order to pass the class with a  i just want to be done ill graduate with an associates degree and ive been accepted to other colleges to get my bachelors but its taken me  years to get my associates and i dont think i have it in me to do another  to finish a bachelors degreeright now im just filled to the brim with selfdoubt uncertainty and stress i feel completely lostim not sure if anyone will read this but i just need to get it off my chest,3.0
22687,my spring break is already turning out good even though it hasnt even been a full  days lol ,0.0
22688,sushma swaraj going to be the deputy leader for bjp now this is a good move i really like it ,0.0
22689,so i really need to go back to the drawing board see if i can get video stable again  i really wanted to do all s ,0.0
22690,awhile ago it freaking hot now its wet  turn off,2.0
22691,  they are all over this morning ,0.0
22692,why cant my dog live forever hes  and i love him and he cant walk anymore im so sorry teddy i love you,3.0
22693,stuck on the last two ,2.0
22694,just started citalopram  i havent been able to sleep at all due to an intense stomach ache which started about two hours after taking my first dose it hasnt stopped since taking it which was two days ago now anyone else had this experience and does it get more bearable or should i ask my gp to be put on something else,3.0
22695,sincere thoughts and prayers for loved ones of air france crash passengers  rip,2.0
22696,im just always so god damn bored theres nothing i want to do i dont enjoy anything anymore so i just occupy myself with meaningless bullshit to help the time pass it makes life feel so pointless,3.0
22697,soveren you got the livecd play with it  jaunty something right,0.0
22698, wish wed still have fun like last year though now were down to  ,2.0
22699,global warming my foot my poor garden there is frickin frost up here in june ,2.0
22700,xerieex ooooh thank you very much ill look it up now  sorry for late reply i didnt realize ,0.0
22701,does anyone know of a hairstlist in des moines that isnt afraid to take risks whenever i ask for something funky i get grandma ,2.0
22702,eatonville the kitchen was closed when i was there  but i will definitely be back i absolutely adore the ambience,2.0
22703,its sad that you said you werent fake and that you werent like the rest but look at you now 🤣🤦‍♀️,1.0
22704,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
22705,wendyuk thanks for the chat wendy ,0.0
22706,i washed the dishes today ive come a long way from my depression that started briefly when i was about  years old and was at its worst point when i was  it resulted in a suicide attempt and an addiction i spent my  birthday in an inpatient rehab when i was almost  i relapsed and overdosed in my room which was a lifealtering event for me i began to turn my mental state around for the better and i was doing so fantastic i found and developed hobbies that i lost over those years met new people and i was so happy i thought i beat it until recently may i note that drug use will ever be an option in my life again but lately i have been feeling my depression creeping back up on me i believe its partially due to allowing certain peoples negative comments and attitude towards me bring me down and thats something i think i need to change ive stopped doing the things that i had refound that i had enjoyed and most of those things that i enjoy dont even require me leaving my apartment i just dont want to do anything everything seems so blandbut today i went with my sister to the airport to see her off to texas again for the next  months shes military i showered and i did the dishes a task i have been avoiding for over a week and its only  in the afternoonand i think ill try cleaning my apartment today or at least maybe just the bathroom and tomorrow i think ill do my laundry i know it seems very minor but im so happy for what i accomplished today it gives me hope for myself and i just really wanted to share this with you guys ,3.0
22707,hosed down the baby in the tub to get flea poison off her god she was even starting to molt ,2.0
22708,updates to wwwbethcauccicom  added a music player and some more video ,0.0
22709,pprlisa roflol thx for clarifying that ,0.0
22710,does your depression have a visualization ive wondered about this for a while if anyone else has experiences like this   depressions often visually described i think quite metaphorically and vapidly as a black ball or a grey cloud but whenever i get stuck in the doldrums of depressive thoughts i always find myself being pulled back to this image of a bare beach on a cold windy overcast day i know logically in and of itself that theres nothing particularly special about that image  but for some reason its my visualization and its odd because im someone who really likes overcastwindyrainy days   thats just the prison i always get pulled into   anyone else experience something similar,3.0
22711,mcflyharry ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eu te amo too  lol a looooooot ,2.0
22712,ddrager im not saying im just saying  ,0.0
22713,ohmymoses ugh im craving for sweets  lolol btw great job on the bermo tribute i loooooove it they need a series asap,2.0
22714,boo tried my luck with crawfish again  no bueno already itching ,2.0
22715,kaykayinyoface just told me that im a tweetaholic  but i think shes right,2.0
22716,feliciaj no your placethat was you i didnt decide it ,2.0
22717,eliperks thats like  hotdogs and ten drinks ,0.0
22718,my mom is proud of me for leaving the house i told my mom that i would be going to a movie with a couple of friends and she said im so proud of you ive been getting so worriedit kinda made me realize how bad its been lately i rarely leave the house and when i do its just for appointments and class and its been about two months since ive seen these friends im going to a movie with today,3.0
22719,is bout  eat dinnerletme c theres a choice of icecream or chocolate lol i think ima hav both yummy ,0.0
22720,loving these celebrities upside down photoshoppings   via lecraic freaky,0.0
22721,im really angry and upset for a really selfish reason so my friend and i used to work together but she got fired about a month ago because she was a shitty worker ive been trying my best to try and find her another job but instead she decided to leech off of a popular streamer and is now an affiliate with twitch and gets money by donationsim really salty about this and honestly im kind of fed up ive known this girl for more than half of my life and she always gets everything handed to her and doesnt work for anything and im sick and tired of it now shes just going sit her ass at home and stream for money while i have to drive  minutes to work and work for  hours a day it angers and depresses me because shes a close friend of mine but i think im overwhelmed with hate and envy ive been ignoring her messages for the passed three days just so i can have a sound mind and not be on the verge of tears because i never get anything handed to me like she does its really ridiculous how do i get over this feeling i know all of you may be thinking wow youre a shit friend and should be happy for her well yeah i know but if you were in my situation you would feel this way too i think,3.0
22722,i dnt like the fact iphones die quick  buhh then again i do keep playin around with it,2.0
22723,calperry oh not nice ,0.0
22724,  if i cant finish myself off im thinking i should just let work do it work myself until i cant feel anymore its the only solution i can think ofi work damn hard and ive worked on myself more this year than i ever have ive never worked out before two years ago i thought its supposed to make me feel better i hate myself more i cook more i have way more hobbies i was happier in college when all i cared about was succeeding over my health and social lifefeeling like depression could never be beat than what the fuck what do i strive fordamn thanks reddit for letting me vent,3.0
22725,omarabid i was born there ,0.0
22726,rt realtylerzed therapists are legitimately diagnosing patients with trump anxiety disorder not a jokethis 👆 is exactly what happen,0.0
22727,selena gomez is soooo cute i like her   ,0.0
22728,honest selfreflection sometimes i feel its only right i feel broken inside some people have fought harder than me for happiness only to fail its logical i want to live badly i want to live and be happy but attaining even a moment of it is so preciousi want to live so bad i dont want to go it would hurt them too much i would rather suffer for all eternity than to hurt them like that they are the ones who deserve happiness i want to live even if its a miserable life at least they dont have to bury a son they dont deserve that its crazy if it werent for them i think i might actually kill myself what is happiness i just want to be with my family the only ones who honestly care and love me unconditionallysorry all its been a bad day a bad week really i just left them again back to my miserable life wont be able to see them in a year againbut i think its true if they were gone i think id justdrop i dont care about anything but them ihonestly believe i would kill myself if they were gone is that weird i dont care about bettering the world dont care about bettering myself bc i dont care about anyone really dont care about much these daysjust making them proud and happydont have a partner or kids dont want them i wouldnt wish me on any soul im miserable how could i possibly have kids knowing myself to be a suicide risk thats just not responsible maybe ill just work until they pass on then donate my wealth to my siblings kids or something before ending it all thathonestly sounds nice,3.0
22729,i need to start taking my anxiety medicine again,2.0
22730,esmeg hey what happend to  jenn thought we were workin on a theme song here ,0.0
22731,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
22732,running out of meds  this is going to be a fun ride i have medical insurance through covered california but moved to a different state a month ago the plan was to move get a job with insurance and thrive im on my last refill through a cvs emergency refill but then its done bahhahaha now im planning a schedule to wean myself off of the prozac that has been working so well im hoping that by making it every other day and then tapering off it wont be too bad good thing this is the only point of stress in my life definitely nothing else going on that might make my depression meds more important and vital,3.0
22733,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22734,fraanncee very good i started making the background music for it today  and im almost finished writing it,0.0
22735,hi im sydney i feel dizzy  i have my sisters graduation tomorrow and i want to die nice to meet you bye,0.0
22736,for some reason i have been having fantasies about brutally injuring myself but i have never selfharmed before hello everyone i am not looking for attention or anything but i have noticed a particular pattern of thinking that is beginning to upset me for some reason i have continuous thoughts about brutally hurting myself like taking a knife and stabbing it into my leg though i have never thought of this beforei keep thinking that if i could torture myself in the most brutal way possible that i would feel a sadistic kind of bliss these kind of thoughts are honestly disturbing me and i dont really know what to make of it could it be that i am just having intrusive thoughts im not really sure but the idea of taking pleasure from it has never occurred to me beforea few days ago i had a strong impulse to jump into an ice cold river though i didnt do itim not really sure if this is normal or what is going on but if someone could give some feedback i would appreciate it,3.0
22737,video henriqueriot  i wish i had the money she has  i know me too id have so many shoes and sneakers ,2.0
22738,deebug hahah word that was me for the first month of summer vacation ,2.0
22739, i miss you too   and dont say quotdamnquot  lol,2.0
22740,i fucking hate university and idk what to do with my life i have so many assignments due in such a short time period and have zero motivation whatsoever to do them doing schoolwork feels like literal torture for me and it takes me so much longer to do anything than what it should       going to class and sitting through lectures is literally the most boring thing in the world and i pretty much always end up zoning out the entire time so most of the time i just skip class anyway      everyday is pretty much exactly the same if im not sitting at home and having a mental breakdown then im just completely numb unable to feel a thing theres no way in hell im going to be able to do this for two more years oh and im in psychology so with only a bachelors degree theres literally no jobs and the ones that do exist arent even that much better than any minimum wage jobs  i thought id be able to just stick with it and get my masters degree but im barely making it through my second year     this week i have three papers due and a midterm next week i have another paper and another test to write this is torture its not worth it i honestly want to end my life because i feel like im never going to find something i want to do and am never going to be happy my parents expect me to stay in school and think anyone who doesnt go to university and get a degree is a loser      i have no clue what to do with my life im so hopeless and alone everyone else seems so happy so sure of themselves except for me i want all of this pain to end i want to be free,3.0
22741,am i just overreacting like my mom says idk when it was maybe like  months ago i talked to my mom about the possibility of me being depressed she said she didnt believe in depression so naturally i shut my mouth and stopped talking about it until she asked why i thought that i explained my feelings of being constantly either sad or generally lacking any emotions at all besides guilt and dread for no apparent reason and she said that since im an empath that its probably the ghosts im kinda a skeptic so i look for natural reasons which is why i never believe her when she says these things i havent talked to her about it since then she said at one point that im probably overreacting which has made my close myself up even more about this type of thing but its kind of getting to a point where im tired of feeling this way and i want an answer as to whether or not i may actually have a problemso getting right into what i feel im usually a happy person but in the past maybe  years its slowly starting to feel like everythings caving in it didnt get to a point where i noticed how bad i feel until maybe  years ago i think i asked my mom once the possibility of me having depression in the car one day and she immediately dismissed me until a few months ago when i asked again it feels suffocating almost breathing feels like a chore eating brushing my teeth shower feels like a such a hassle to the point where ill go days without showering or brushing my teeth and i wont eat until my parents offer to make me a plate of dinner going so long without cleaning makes me feel disgusting but at the same time i dont care enough to fix it i lose interest in the things i love i used to absolutely love doing my makeup and cosplaying and being with friends but i stopped cosplaying because it just didnt feel right i stopped hanging out with my friends because it feels like theyd rather be anywhere else even if they dont express it i can easily break down just staring at the ceiling but thats probably just a me problemmy excuse as to why i think i may possibly have it is because my great grandma when i was  passed away we were extremely close and it felt like my life was over when it happened we immediately moved to a different state and i had no say in it i was practically forced away from my hometown and the place i grew up with my best friendgreat grandma because she was my best friend sometimes i can leave my room and see the living room and just feel wrong like it feels like i dont exist or feels like something bad will happen and its always so overwhelming that i have to do what i need to do and go back to bedroom before the feeling gets any worse and i start crying sometimes i get the intrusive thoughts when im getting medicine for headaches and stuff that tell me to just swallow a handful of pills and that no one would even notice my lack of existence i never do it though im way too scared because i know that i will be missed yesterday news came out that my grandma died so i feel like thats even making things worse because im either sobbing until my eyes are dry or laying wondering why i feel like i shouldnt be alive anymore im just tired of not knowing whats wrong with me is it depression or am i really just overreacting im kinda a kid i dont wanna be reported for being too young to be on reddit but im between  years old ,3.0
22742,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
22743,on the computer ,0.0
22744,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
22745,hi sad girl hours are upon me someone please cheer me up 💔,0.0
22746,michaelcera superbad  would be awesome crossing my fingers ,0.0
22747,im always sad all the time  male whos always sad and i have to lie to people about it ive been through so much lately and ive recently gotten into bad habits again which makes me sad i cant even sleep anymore and im slowly ruining my life im going to have a mental breakdown soon,3.0
22748,has way to much to do and not enough time to do it in ,2.0
22749,aprilriley yeaaaaaaaa ok lol let me go win the lottto real fast ,0.0
22750,i dont care anymore ive been doing college level work since i was  im tired and i dont want to be here anymore i have a spending problem so no matter what i do im always broke my friends treat me like a piece of shit i hate living with my family im going no where in life i feel so lonely also tell me how when i have standards for a relationship everyone just wants to fuck but then when i lower all of my standards to nothing and just want anyone to fuck me just to feel some sort of intimacy im rejected and made fun of i dont care anymore i want to run away and start all over,3.0
22751,peacelovewords awwww well i try i try ,0.0
22752,flourgrrrl  love it just joined thanks tonight i am planning to make bucatini and incorporate a mix of greens from this shipment ,0.0
22753,i feel terrible today alcohol is a nasty drug ,2.0
22754,mmmmm late night snacks are the best ,0.0
22755,im a  year old stuck in a  year old body why the fuck do i have this account if im as mature as a kindergartener i rely on my mommy and daddy to do things with me to remind me to take care of my diabetes i need to have my daddy to watch over my shoulder when i do my homework because im always on another screen my mommy is sick of me being with her on vacation so im going back home and getting fs on my grades and ill be going back to kindergarten im not mature enough to have my electronics so my daddy is going destroy them my mommy is letting me on the internet for  minutes because i spent all of my good boy points ive posted like a kindergartener because im a fucking kindergartener because of the way i act fuck biology fuck the autistic spectrum fuck being a typical teenager i am what i act like,3.0
22756, my anxiety is super high🙃,1.0
22757,should i tell my professor i took a midterm today and my professor emailed me  minutes after i handed in saying that the results were pretty bad and he wants to talk to me about it the thing is i am absolutely terrible at taking exams even if i know the material—i just get so anxious that my mind goes completely blank and i was having a pretty bad depression day today to begin with should i just straight up tell my professor ive been suffering from depression this semester and have been in the process of changing medications its been causing me to miss class  and not give a shit about grades i dont want it to sound like im using depression as an excuse—i know im at fault but this semester has just been so rough on me has anyone else explained their situations to their professors ,3.0
22758,just saw the flyerposter for my performance in septemberthey misspelled my name ,2.0
22759,bet awards got tha la flights lookin stoopid fucked my plans up no doubt ,2.0
22760,experiencing auditory hallucinations due to depression tldr had auditory hallucinations  times in the last month or so it happened when i was in my bathroom connected to my room and i for sure thought there was a burglar in my room the first time the second and third times i thought i heard a huge cat clawing at my window which is completely impossible considering i live in sweden and they dont exist here the thing thats freaking me out is that it is quite easy to distinguish whether my brain is making something up or if something is real even tho i knew for a fact nothing was there after i checked it sounded real as is something was actually there i then proceeded to become very paranoid since i could have visual hallucinations toois this common,3.0
22761,being alone with my thoughts some days i can handle it and i fight back against the negative thoughts but other days i feel like it gets out of hand and i end up hearing negative things abt myself and making up bad scenarios in my head abt my life and my relationship its much worse when im trying to sleep at night it makes sleep almost non existent even when i take sleeping gummies i try to always drown it out with podcasts or music but in situations like when im at work its hard it can make it harder for me to focus and get my job done i hope once im able to afford therapy that i can learn to better control it,3.0
22762,italian for today farfalla  meaning quotbutterflyquot heres luca carbonis farfallina sorry cant find the video  ,2.0
22763,home now  today was so amazing watu was so great  now its bed time xd,0.0
22764,sighs has been up since  for no freaking reason laid in bed for  hours still couldnt get back to sleep is ooohhh sooo tired ,2.0
22765,rt drdenisemd instagram is the most harmful app for mental health   via thescope,2.0
22766,wææ the starter wife starter nå tiden går litt for fort i guess my vacation is almost over ,2.0
22767,doesnt like work much today ,2.0
22768,dngrin das its all about love duhh genre lagu da itu itu doank bosenn sorry just in my opinion style by simon cowell ,0.0
22769,good dayyy  five days,0.0
22770,iphone update is nu officieel morgen pas  httpwwwapplecomsgiphonesoftwareupdate,2.0
22771, i have to be somewhere else jd ga bisa delivery tdnya mo mampir while on the way tp ponilover ga jadi nemenin  huhu,2.0
22772,oh yeah my mums coming back from china tmr  no more freedom,2.0
22773,rt  who else uses humor to mask their crippling depression haha am i right ladies,1.0
22774,getting ready for work worried about my little loves fraidy self ,2.0
22775,eurgh is there any need in the world for midgies if not they should be wiped out haha woke up to find loads of bites im now very itchy ,2.0
22776,reaching out only pushes people away i tried reaching out for awhile and occasionally letting stuff off my chest to peers because im pretty cagey but i noticed that talking about my problems didnt make me feel any better and the people i chose to talk to all seemed to not want to talk to me as much as they had prior to me opening up,3.0
22777,getting on the train kisses all ,0.0
22778,misssabrinasin aww  im so used to burns that it doesnt bother me anymore i just go ouch ,2.0
22779,agraceless im going    joking  i went through a bag of starbursts today too  freaking amazing,0.0
22780,noi was wrngthe dahboard can read higher its now sayin its  ,2.0
22781,eating an apple and cherries sooooo good ,0.0
22782, thank you    do hope your back is better or at least getting better by now  big hugs and a happy sunday to you ,0.0
22783,kalebnation hahaha twitter is indeed very addictive  great video,0.0
22784,tofflerann no idea toffler doesnt look all that bangkokrelated either  httptinyurlcomlguygfh,2.0
22785,every single song of guilty pleasure gets stuck in your head  loove it,0.0
22786,at my cousins birthday party ,0.0
22787,arsc mega burguer was my lunch yesterday ,2.0
22788,went on a  mile hike today  first time on that trail and its easy but really boring ,0.0
22789,chandralee univ of phoenix impressed with their online mba program the resourcestools avail are excellent just sent u a fb message ,0.0
22790,nigggy when i get a job and can pay for it myself  hah,2.0
22791,sophzilla poor bb minkles  well i am now unfing ove rdj like woah bcos of  ,2.0
22792,  you asked how she was tazzbo ,0.0
22793, if i ever have a day where im out that way without the wee one in tow we will have to do lunch and talk books ,0.0
22794,shaundiviney just let me win  how many times can u enter ,0.0
22795,katiekapow amp pointgiver grats on your new condo  may it not rain when you move and potential helpers not be busy,0.0
22796,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
22797,i wonder do some people deserve nothing in this world  as i keep going on the only thing im witnessing is how my life only gets worse im slowly losing everything and i keep suffering more and more i witness awful people getting the time of their life while my only fault that i can think of is being born in the wrong family which leads me having to deal with awful and gargantuan problems totally out of my control weighting on me on a daily basis totally handicapping me i really wonder why i have to endure all of this growing more and more into a lifeless literally and spiritually zombiei spent my life being gentle to others helping them trying my best  at everything and to be the most honest possible and i keep getting only shit in parallel nasty people just get everything with no effort why ,3.0
22798,donniedoll cool i am already following he ,0.0
22799,rt larrayxo if youre ever sad just know last week i had a boyfriend for literally  hours i wish i was joking,0.0
22800,thank you for helping me get to this point i couldnt have done it without you truly my former youth pastor suggested to me a few months ago when i had an emotional breakdown in front of her lmao i was a mess  that i seek therapy because i deserve to be happy and to work through the trauma of my past and the depression of my present i talked to her again yesterday and shes going to reach out to my parent to discuss more about me seeking help ive never had someone go to this amount of effort compassion and love are a beautiful thing so although she will never read this everyone deserves to know how grateful i am towards her if not for her i probably wouldnt be here today im really thankful that i do have a bit of support in the midst of the pain of this world much love to all of you,3.0
22801,all packed and ready for  our   am shuttle to begin our china trip tomorrow hopefully i can get some sleep on the  hour flight ,0.0
22802,wow so fking bored ,2.0
22803,its a new day time to sit and do nothing for  hours im gonna be at home all day call me if you wanna talk ,0.0
22804, i believe august sadly we have to wait  months ,2.0
22805,michaelcopon awesome tell me if its good i might watch it ,0.0
22806,depression getting a lot worse stay at home order my state issued a stay at home order my depression is feeding off the isolation and getting so much worse i rely on my boyfriend a lot for support and my borderline personality makes it very hard for me to be alone i havent seen him in  weeks,3.0
22807,has finally gone to bed but cant sleep ,2.0
22808,rt  you wont really understand depression unless youve gone through it,1.0
22809,how is it not sunday yet i swear the last episode of true blood was on like  weeks ago ,2.0
22810,and it beginshere we go till  ppsshhhhhh ,2.0
22811,jessicaveronica i didnt have anything ,2.0
22812,good morning rainy day today  but thats fine will be great,2.0
22813,my hands are cold ,2.0
22814,chrisbrogan was that reward or punishment ,0.0
22815,followfriday angelwardriver a great digger  she is a real sweetheart  and welcome to twitter ,0.0
22816,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
22817,applexlove thats a cute clock mela ,0.0
22818, thats probably a good idea ,0.0
22819,sick sick sickand migraines sorry for twittering my silly complaints to you be my mommy tonight twitter and tylenol ,2.0
22820,jessalynb  congrats on your graduation  same to karl love you guys,0.0
22821,beniblanco if only it was actually mine  but im hoping it is mine sooooooooooooooon waiting for a hand me down from the family lol,2.0
22822,is modi a diabolical creation of cia to ensure votes for congress each promodi voter creates two antibjp voters  ,0.0
22823,crunchyk i know so sad  my thoughts and prayers are with them ,2.0
22824,we lost  but thanks vidic amp anderson you boys tried,2.0
22825,at schoolwishing i was with my family ,2.0
22826,i need help i decided to make a post on here because the depression is getting to be too much again ive been struggling with depression my entire teens and it doesnt get better ive attempted suicide and a large section of me wishes ive gone through with it i went to a mental health service place and they put me on medication i also had to attend therapy none of that helped im still just as bad if not worse than before that place i dont know what to do anymore i guess i just want some advice what do i do because if this continues i dont know if it will be worth going on,3.0
22827,my sister cut up mangos amp apples for me to eat  i love that chick,0.0
22828,i just want  i just want to run away from it all and get lost maybe then ill find my peacei just want to find my purpose in life or is there onei just want to finally get the validation i deserve or am i asking for too muchi just want the voices in my head to stopi just want my business to pick upi just want to see his face one last timei just want to feel loved and not alonei just want to,3.0
22829,photovance tch such a pity im gonna miss youre trip here ,2.0
22830,upset about the cavs  anyway go lakers,2.0
22831, what was the bandsong the youtube vid has country restrictions ,2.0
22832,is going on holiday with jonmarlow next week ,0.0
22833,does anyone here cut im not feeling well at all today few minutes ago i grabbed a key and started scratching my thighs i havent done this before and it seems like one of those things that becomes gradually a habit im not asking for advice though im past that i know well i want to end my life but im just too coward to do it myself so maybe this is the closest i can get i dont even know now what im doing i guess i wanted to talk about it or see if im alone in this,3.0
22834,feeling trapped in my head first off im autistic im studying at oxford im struggling to remember anything like anything at all people faces dates facts etc im feeling more and more alone because i dont feel like i have anything good to think about i have a girlfriend shes in the forces and has a lot of structure and meaning to her life and i like that but i see my life as completely pointless  so about a year i was cycling in the dark and i was hit by a car i flew over the bonnet and hit my head i was out for about half an hour till i regained conscience in the back of an ambulance and the crews were cutting off my clothes and pumping me full of morphine before this accident i had a very good memory and my parent would say i could talk about anything that had happened from when i was a child i was having some weird relationships at the time with different people and i only came out to them after i was in hospital for a month after the accident i didnt want to say anything because i didnt want to worry them i valued their feeling more over my own life and i still do that now with other people things started to crash after the accident i lost people really good friends and i knew it was me and i changed and something during that accident had altered me and i hated it i started to forget people very quickly and events that had happened and horribly people who had died and continuously not realising they had died that upset a lot of people before everything happened i had broken up with a girl but i didnt realise that after now i cant remember what we did together or even how we met but i cant get the thought of her out my head she later told me to leave never come back which i did but even now i still have the feeling of thought of her and im struggling to get rid of that i dont love her and im not in love her i just feel like im obsessed with her a person i know nothing about and it haunts me ive been to a few separate doctors and have been recommended medication which i believe it has just made it worse ive talk to my parents but they just talk highly of the pros of medication and councillors hate councillors i always ended up lying to them since everything ive had some real down point and made two attempts by failed due to people walking in randomly either whilst in progress or while setting up ive already made necessary precautions by writing letters addressing them and stamping them but non have been sent i want to tell my gf but i feel like i dont want to throw feelings away by her thinking hes a sobbing kid or hes crazy or why am i with him  id rather hide it not to upset her people mean everything in the world to me and id give my life for her any day but i still want to tell her and i dont her to be scared of me when i close my eyes and think of a memory i just see grey mist or static like of a television it doesnt feel nice not having anything to fall back on in your mind things that made you happy ,3.0
22835,i loooove ice cream and television i wanna go to the beach lets go ,0.0
22836,mitchelmusso ive decided i like ur new hair wasnt sure  first but it grew on me ,0.0
22837,kristeneileen absolutely id be glad to help you ,0.0
22838,but mitchell davis always cheers me up dude  ,0.0
22839,its pretty sad that im only famous on a underrated social media p  thats pretty happy though no toxic peopl httpstcokflhyivaoh,0.0
22840,up way too damn early   school till  tonight,2.0
22841,painted my nails pink thinking it would cheer me up i was wrong ,2.0
22842,its not fair no one i like tours england ,2.0
22843,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
22844,im severely depressed i dont think i really should be anymore but i am when i was a kid i was badly abused in pretty much all ways shapes and forms when i turned eleven i was taken out of the abusive house and placed in a boys home it was better but i still was very isolated and on my own ignored and at fourteen my father finally got stabled enough and i went to live with him for the record he didnt abuse me but i couldnt live with him at the time so he gave me to my aunt and uncle they are the ones who abused me im fifteen now and life is better then perfect my dad is a amazing father and everything is finally how it should be my life is finally normal but im still extremely depressed over what happened i feel terrible because theres no reason to be depressed but i am i cant help it and i dont think it will ever go away i feel like im going to live with this all of my life until the day that i die im not saying that everyday i feel like ending my life because the thought has never crossed my mind some days i get up and i get through i feel a little sad but i get through them other times i do have really hard days where i can barely get out of bed and functioning on those days is out of the question but in the end as i said i dont think it will ever stop ill always be brokeni try to remain on a positive level for my dads sake i would feel even shittier if i made him depressed because i am i dont know if he knows what happened to me in the past weve never talked about it and hes never asked of course why would he why would you ever want to talk about something like that like hey lets sit down and ill tell you how fucked up my childhood was what would be the point of talking about it anyway its  not like it will make anything betterand before you ask yes im going to therapy and yes im on anti depressants they help a little im still sad all the time though it varies in different degrees on different days thanks for reading this i hope i didnt bum all of you out ,3.0
22845,billingtonart i felt the same way as the weather is the same here  ,2.0
22846,does anyone fancy buying me and ed hardy cap with the tiger and sending it as a gift so i dont have to pay import taxes  they cost to much,2.0
22847,boburnham  i think it looks pretty funny ,0.0
22848,im bummed cuz josh might not make it thursday ,2.0
22849,juz back from the beach hada great time and a macy ds to follow it up propa order ,0.0
22850,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
22851,are antidepressants a good idea okay so i have been really miserable lately have insomnia no energy to socialize feeling really unmotivated hating myself etc which are all pretty strong symptoms for depression on the other hand im not suicidal and i do feel positive and happy sometimes i have a lot of hope for the future and i do have fun w friends some of the time but i do also feel really bad a lot i have only seen my therapist a couple times but she did recommend meds im seeing a doctor soon but im worried that  im only  so they might be bad for me  it will make my depression worse or  i dont actually have depression and im only miserable because my school environment is awful i forgot to mention this but my school is really stressful for me amp the people are really mean which is the main cause for me feeling so miserable i would switch schools but im halfway through high school so theres no point but two years is a long time to be unhappy so do you think antidepressants will help,3.0
22852,chantiparnell i think i read somewere camilla was retiring  but yeh shit area  i mean the only thing we have is robin hood y,2.0
22853,i am officially heartbroken after what i just saw ,2.0
22854,poshpinkla goodmorning ,0.0
22855,akomuzikera on a tyra kathy griffin talked about suze orman saying quotthere is nothing a good financiallyfocused lesbian cant doquot ,0.0
22856,rt blamelexx idk whats wrong with me 😂😭 i do not like people and its sad 💀 i cant be friendly if i tried😭,1.0
22857, found a poor little lizard in the nmr room i think he learned his lesson  ,2.0
22858,is completely overwhelmed whatever ,2.0
22859,cutedivya htc diamond never gave me problems past  months  i think there r earthing issues in the socket,2.0
22860,pinkeyxoxo  months going on   hehe iya thanks pink lo sama chandra udah lama banget dong ya wheehooo,0.0
22861,stephaniexx i wanna do the  hour famine this yearbut i dont have anyone to sponsor me ,2.0
22862,rt problemwerewolf this cured my depression anxiety and eczema,2.0
22863,im sorry i cant hear you i have a hayley and a gwen in my ears sick as a dog in bed ,2.0
22864,idk wtf to do i have been crying for  minutes and still am i am  years old been having depression for only  months so this is all alien to me i havent been able to do anything it has progressively gotten drastically bad i dont want to communicate with parents have missed over  weeks of school some days it hits and i just feel like dying i have a lack of any care about anything besides maybe one or  things i now live in an area without any friends who have already moved away wtf do i do there i have no emotion and no motivation for me to do things i cant open up to my parents because  they have always said stuff like tough love and what not  but now they are trying to improve but keep mentioning stuff that i havent done and what not  i apologize if i am vague or not making sense been a rough couple days my psychiatrist thinks it is biological depression but my test showed negativei just want to know what is the best way you guys build your motivation and your confidence i just want to build my motivation up what works best for u,3.0
22865,that was such a fun stream im sad now,2.0
22866,comcastbonnie that didnt work ,2.0
22867,i dont like saying goodbye ,2.0
22868,almost finished with half blood prince even though i know whats going to happen i still get a little teared up ,2.0
22869,woah i thought theres gonna be a cat fight  ,0.0
22870,fui muito criticado hoje vou dormir sad,2.0
22871,kokotoni rockstar clearly have no fucking clue what made max payne good and just focused on quotshooting shitquot halo demographic wins again ,2.0
22872,is sad that wa lost the daylight savings vote and were stuck with no dls   lady tonight says she voted no  quotbaby cried because it wa ,2.0
22873,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
22874,coolrelaxed i jus cnt stay up to late anymore i have to work all the time ,2.0
22875, i know ,2.0
22876,not bad  closed station only added ten minutes to my commute  i hate calgary transit  lol  things are almost back to normal  ,0.0
22877,well done boys love u   x,0.0
22878,so cant be botherd tonite ,2.0
22879,schlurry omg u havent dun it yet tsk tsk i did it on sunday and koogie and kayjay were taken  i think u shuld do schlurry,2.0
22880,yay i actually slept a bit last night  and am now sad cos its sunday and therfore hwk day bring on history coursework ,2.0
22881,killed my ethernet port wifi is only connectivity ,2.0
22882,being adopted and depressed i was adopted at birth i never knew who my real parents are i know nothing about them ever since my real parents told me i was adopted when i was  ive been depressed since im  now ever since then ive felt like i never really known them i dont feel like i belong i honestly just feel like a burden to them whenever im driving i feel like driving off the road into a tree or something every time i honestly dont know what to do ive tried talking to my parents about them and they give me no information about them ive tried so many things but nothing seems to work out when trying to find information about them i really dont know what to do anymore i just want to either die or disappear,3.0
22883, that was one of the most enjoyable experiences ive had on youtube well done  ,0.0
22884,its a lie its a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully and all the glittering assholes who appreciate ,1.0
22885,  if i wasnt home today id never have gotten my answers in,2.0
22886,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
22887,lronjaii gawd wish i had an early nite i blatently thought it was friday today ,2.0
22888,tallivansunder then eat dont tweet   ,0.0
22889,lost  followers ,2.0
22890,how do i work with depression and a family im almost  work full time to support my family wife is looking for a job to support us but no idea when that will happen i cant stand work most days its only my third day into my first full week in a few weeks and i already want to take a sick day i have so much i want to accomplish and feel like if i had the time i could do pretty well but i dont have the time and i dont know when i will i slowly work on my goals outside of work and when im not with the wifekids but its very slow progress even when i do find time its often that work has taken my energy and creativity sometimes i look back even as short as  months ago at videos where im upbeat goofy having a good time and cant imagine being that person when i do start to feel the slightest upbeat i feel like im pretending because im just going to feel like shit again the next day i never imagined that adulthood would be like this some days are good many are not i just want to be happy,3.0
22891,senordanimal nah im good uploading a little bit of history ,0.0
22892,stayed home from school little sick ,2.0
22893,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
22894,karadiak all i do is read now ohio is no fun ,2.0
22895,rip david carradine a very sad day ,2.0
22896,new symptoms so this is my first time posting here ive suffered from severe depressionanxiety since i was a kid and im  now things have gotten better lately i dropped out of college and got a job working overall makes me happier whereas i have so many deepseated issues with school in general that it was just making me miserable i got lucky im in an apprenticeship so i actually have a career path ahead of mewhat ive noticed is that even though my headspace is better overallim happier fewer bad thoughts fewer lows etcive been getting some new or unusual depression symptoms two i find the most concerning one ive been getting spaceydizzy in the way i get when ive missed a dose or two of my meds even though ive been on track with my meds and havent missed any recentlythe second is that ive had a decreased appetite which is completely new to me and im having trouble dealing with it i could stand to lose some weight so on days when i dont have to do anything its not so bad the problem is when i have to force a smoothie down my halfgagging throat so i dont pass out at work laterim working on getting a referral to a psychiatrist as i think these are signs of my medication not working as well now ive gone through some big life changes recently but its been months and id have usually gotten over them by now not to mention ive been on the same medication at the same dose sertraline  daily for about three years now and i started on it when i was still a teen im wondering if my bodys changed and its not as effective nowhas anyone else experienced sudden newweirdly timed symptoms what was your solution,3.0
22897,any of you guys play games on pc  just looking  for people who can understand me i care about you and ill be there for youdm me your discord ,3.0
22898,sorry just feeling down and have to rant im over everything at the moment im an alcoholic and so ashamed of everything ive done im living a double life and pretending to everyone that ive got my shit together and that im the same old happy me that i once was ive been to the point where ive been hospitalised and wished that i didnt wake up and then went home later the next day and just pretended that nothing happened and im on top of the world my best friend and the guy i really like have no idea how sad i am and i just cant open up to anyone ive tried multiple psychiatrists psychologists and everything but ive always had the need to not be a burden on anyone or to pass off my feelings as a joke because i dont want to pressure anyone into feeling any empathy or sadness for me its really fucking getting to me and i just dont know what to do anymore sorry,3.0
22899,im and ready to go to la  my feet are killing me,0.0
22900,both my laptop amp iphone have died so ill be away from phone text twitter facebook email etc for at least  days ,2.0
22901,rt ifuckbieberr really sad know that there are too many people below haileys apartment and they complain about justins attitude but y,2.0
22902,i dont want john to leave ,2.0
22903,getting a lot of compliments amp loving it ,0.0
22904,moulin rouge is awesome ,0.0
22905,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22906,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
22907,what are some positive reminders you try to focus on when you have work a  hour shift havent had breakfast or lunch  and half hours into my shift just going on breakmy wife suggested i try to think about something positive all i can do right now is hold it together and keep myself from crying throughout my half hour break ,3.0
22908,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
22909,dont necessarily want to kill myself but also just dont really want to be alive anymore im kinda over the whole living thing its just not working out for me im graduating college in less than  days and i have zero job prospects ive sent out dozens of applications and havent heard back from anywhere ive been told some people send over  applications before they find a job but its likely ill off myself before i get that far im over  in debt and the thought of moving back in with my parents makes me want to sobi feel like all my friends are more successful than me im jealous and i hate that i just want to be happy for them but im so miserable about my own situation that my inadequacy and underachievement just sucks all the joy right out of me i feel like if i had even one god damn thing going for me right now i could manage but im falling apart my boyfriend preemptively dumped me said he wants to stay together until graduation but part ways after that i dont even know why were still together at all im confused and dont know how to really feel about it other than hurt so im still with him—i suppose because i just dont want to be alone but thinking of him with other people after im out of the picture puts my stomach in knots and lately its all i think abouton top of it all i have to leave my counselor here at college and hes the only counselor ive ever had that i actually liked so i dont know how the hell im going to ever replace him i dont know im just really done guys i seriously wish id get hit by a truck tomorrow or struck by lighting or shot in a driveby anything quick and relatively painless as long as im  feet under afterward the future is bleak and im not really interested in taking part in it i dont know what optimism means anymore ,3.0
22910,work sucks give me another three days off please  ,2.0
22911,worducopia let me know if they have it  our big box stores doesnt seem to carry her books sadly  or many other ya authors i love,2.0
22912,loneliness i am so lonely i dont have any friends,3.0
22913,oh mother of pearl ,2.0
22914,so my mom comes in my room and asks me if im awake well i am now thanks a lot mom ,2.0
22915,hopingpraying that gradys mri has good results today  i dont want him to be forced into surgery ,2.0
22916,ihnatko only way youll manage that is hypnosis ,2.0
22917,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
22918,i hope zachary quinto is at least bi ,2.0
22919,high school im so sick of highschool i get really anxious and i just got diagnosed with depression getting out of bed is so hard the thought of being in highschool scares me i want to do online school but my mom and my guidance counselor wont listen no one cares for me im on the verge of dropping out i hate this so much im pretty smart and i want to go to college but public school makes me cry everyday i wish i could do online school i wish my mom cared about me sorry if this seems dramatic any advice,3.0
22920,datatlantachick i cant find my cameramight have left i back home  so i gotta wait till i find it  upload them,2.0
22921,tssss for every damn step i take forward i get setback like  im growing tired of this life really i am ,3.0
22922,thinks twitter is overated facebook is better ,0.0
22923,cant watch the cmt music awards ,2.0
22924,off to hell the dentisit ,2.0
22925, instead of relaxation  all teams who finish under  should be obligated to take this approach  most ,1.0
22926,agrunt okay i dont have a credit card i paymymortgage on time i do all the right things  clearly u r part of the problem ,0.0
22927,lizfaxe yeahsame here lol ,0.0
22928,i just want to drive away from it all and never come back ever since i got my first car ive had the increasing urge to just leave everything i know and never look back itd be so easy to fill up the tank get on the highway and get as far away from my job my home my anxiety and my depression i know it would hurt people i know my mother and siblings and my partner would be worried sick i know that my job would struggle to find someone to work my shifts since the other supervisors are all on vacation and one just quit i know that my partner would probably hate himself for not somehow forseeing this or somehow helping me out of my funk i dont care i live my entire life beating myself up if i ever inconvenience someone i feel bad for saying no i take extra shifts even when i shouldnt i try and help my family as much as i can im done theyre not bad people but im tired of feeling hollow and im tired of wanting to die all the time and im tired of going through the motions and pretending im okay i think ill leave tomorrow when my partner thinks im off to work i only have  to my name but  will fill  up my tank once its empty and ill be far across the qld border by then ill sleep on the back seat ill pretend im leaving early for work and stop  by my mothers place under the guise of picking up a few things of mine like a blanket and some of my old pillows and then ill just leave im so over it im tired im so ready to just disappear,3.0
22929,is anybody else unphased by generic cheer up lines im not against anything that may help someone get through their day but i find those all encompassing  you matteryoure here for a purposeyoure stronger than you think comments do nothing to me anyone else,3.0
22930,wrightisrite aww did you fight with mike ,2.0
22931,mortality is the only real cope all my life ive struggled to have friends and relationships ive been anxious  depressed  weird since age  now im  and sometimes i get super depressed about how i never had a typical highschool or college experience  and how ill never start a family or a great career in fact aging terrifies me because i pretty much only see my life getting worse from this pointbut the biggest thing that helps me cope is to most people im just another guy most people only give a shit about themselves the fact that ive never hit certain life milestones or had friends only matters to me once i accept it was never meant to be im filled with depressing calmnessthe way i see it is we are all headed for death  years from now none of our experiences our relationships will mean anything from the happiest person to the most depressed we will all be erased to nothingness so in the meantime  might as well cope with the few minor joys provided by life or just wallow in misery because it will all be over before we know it,3.0
22932,ruyoung oh man is it a via train  their wifi is horrible ,2.0
22933,nathanfillion join those first two the english breakfast   bacon egg sausage beans tomato mushrooms toast and a lovely cuppa tea ,0.0
22934,saw this on tv   reminds me of gym in high school quoti cant run today  my uterus is sheddingquot,2.0
22935,cacaubrazil i heard the results are worth it but im such a baby lol i plan to try it at least once though ,0.0
22936,gastonator yes yes they are  how are you ash i havent talked to you in forever,2.0
22937,dogcrazy yes i can understand that i would hate being weak amp tired  no apparent reason also  i hope u start feeling better soon ,0.0
22938,is intrigued by the new psp pissed off with his  test machine not having sound and seething by his incredibly bad back ,2.0
22939,is sad the cavs r out   lbj u had great season but luck wasnt on ur side,2.0
22940,ich bin durch mit meinem erbärmlichen scheiß lebenpunktlasst mich auf mein ende zugehennotjustsad depression bipolar suizidgedanken,2.0
22941,i really hate it when people talk about me either when im not in the room or as if im not there its freaking rude ,2.0
22942,nick at nite as always then sleep ,0.0
22943,terehill ouch isnt awful  miss cuban food most of us have a genetic intolerance to  daily servings of british fish nchips ,0.0
22944,i love making coleslaw  watching the sugar and mayo reaction is culinary chemistry at its best ,0.0
22945,cameronreilly thats treaties for ya ,0.0
22946,my mom is sick on mothers day ,2.0
22947,its raining ,2.0
22948,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
22949,got a letter from kyle today ,0.0
22950,finally cleaned and saved my camelbak with quotthe original cleaning an drying kitquot  quotoriginal cleaning tabletsquot gt expensive as hell ,2.0
22951,hate myself amp my life i have a problem with feeing guilty  i feel guilty about literally everything and feel like everything is my fault i know im in the position i am now because of the dumb choices ive made in the past but i wish i could just move on from them and learn from my mistakes instead of just thinking about them all the time and not making any progress i feel totally stuck i dont know how to move forward i see a therapist twice a month but i feel like thats the only positive thing i do i really hate myself,3.0
22952,im  days clean from cutting ive been  days clean from cutting and today is being one of my bad days and i dont want to lose my clean streak im going to the psychiatrist today for a check up and ill tell him about my meds not working and i hope it helps im having to get a new therapist because my old one called me stupid and idk what to do i dont feel like i belong here,3.0
22953,my life at the end of the day yall can fuck off lol ,2.0
22954,msbookish i need to set up threaded comments on my blog thought i had ticked the right box but it isnt working  sw bloggiesta,2.0
22955,watching a little  online  ,0.0
22956,chipper jones is playing today yeah but uh didnt have tickets to todays game ,2.0
22957, wb al bby ,0.0
22958,off to lunch then gets to watch up then has an early weekend ,0.0
22959,just waking up turning my swagg on not feeling too happy  but well see wat happens for the rest ,2.0
22960,im starting to like the word quotsultryquot it kinda grew on me ,0.0
22961,watching the game drinking a  not ready to go home tomorrow ,2.0
22962,marathon is almost over  more engagement sessions in nyc im actually kinda lookin forward to the train ride sit down time  ,0.0
22963, happy birthday to your dad ,0.0
22964,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
22965,topbossdiva   ummmmm  idkk   my counciler sed i shud leave  soooo   me amp my grandmah gon find me ah new skool   ima miss u soo much,2.0
22966,missjia check some youtube tuts  maybe thatll be easier to follow thru on ,0.0
22967,petewentz damnit i dont have flash on my mac or my berry peter ,2.0
22968,wishes my internet was hooked up at my new place already ,2.0
22969,pumpkin pie was a hit with all these nonamericans ,0.0
22970,wooohoo quiche lol  and ktt i have money for you ,0.0
22971,cymberrain thanks get in there theres been quite a few entries but youll never win if you dont enter ,0.0
22972,rt pieladychicago hey new friend  this part sucks youre right amwriting ,0.0
22973,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
22974,celiaistall  ahem  followers amp now  tweets  lg lifeisgood hows your weekend,0.0
22975,any of you wish certain fictional characters were your friends do any of yall wish certain fiction characters were real and your friend sometimes i do it would be so nice,3.0
22976,lost track of time reading plato ,2.0
22977,i miss maine i miss the family up there that i havent seen in almost  years i used to go up there every summer and now ,2.0
22978,has anyone seen cruel intentions i just bought a cocaine necklace im so cool ,2.0
22979,all this rain is starting to piss me off wheres the summer sun ,2.0
22980,vespere exactly   not on the new kitchen knives a shitty plastic lid lol,2.0
22981,strawberry pop tarts ,0.0
22982,xsiobhanjanex did you get my txt about staying fri night after show at mine let me know ur more than welcome  gd luk  love x,0.0
22983,wish i could sleep forever sometimes i dont necessarily want to die i dont mind death i feel like sleeping is probably what death feels like its one of the few things that make me feel nice its a shame  of my slumbering is filled with nightmares and sleep paralysis the few times i get a dream its always so comfortable just a nice escape from life even if it does feel like it last mere seconds,3.0
22984,cant wait to get a snowball with mom getting a blister on my finger from wii ,2.0
22985,doverbey coolio look forward to it ,0.0
22986,adindaxton nyeheheh p i know how it feels then ,0.0
22987,god its a gloomy rainy day ,2.0
22988,catheedf ahhh i love them ,0.0
22989,major traffic on  north of austin ,2.0
22990, theresamaymp jeremycorbyn timfarron we feel that labour will create a more caring amp fair society httpstcolqubzwffqj,0.0
22991,someone somewhere liked super stacker   httpwwwsmartestgamescomgotdphp ,0.0
22992,this gave me anxiety 😅😅😂 dude in the gray was wildin the whole time 😭 ,2.0
22993,morphiine omg missing u tonightno insomnia n no delicious food talk  where r u twin sis,2.0
22994,greekpeace hmmm must have misread something oops ,0.0
22995,is with luce and khia ,0.0
22996,we shall turn you into gas and pour you into the stratosphere where you will be rolled up into a beautiful katamari ,0.0
22997,joepawl he swhs and throws lefty im working on those skills with him not culinary momma needs that meal ticket more ,0.0
22998,krysjustice what are u doing today ,0.0
22999,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
23000,christianvdv by the way happy birthday ,0.0
23001,i found our web dev intern that was quick ,0.0
23002,did makeup for  little girls todayi am beat they had some much personality  a  year old told me she needs more blushlol,0.0
23003,netbender i got that enough from punk shows that the ringing never went away ,2.0
23004,his new owner is a friend of my son and lives close by so we can still see him if we want makes me feel better knowing i saved him ,0.0
23005,kendramccracken id do the same thing  you enjoy the madness  i live for stuff like that too  ,0.0
23006,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
23007,crisette lol idk surprisingly i have the whole weekend off so that means i wont get to see you til next weekend ,2.0
23008, im tired of being depressed ,3.0
23009,hanging at hannahs houuuuse ,0.0
23010,failure i was a quiet weird child who couldnt talk to other kids my friends were just bullies who abused my kindness and lack of courage i spent my childhood online because everything was nicer and funner there so of course i have no friends now and i dont know how to interact with people normally being truly alone is more painful and impactful than imaginable for most i am now bitter and fed up with myself and everyone i dont enjoy anything anymore i cant do anything at all without feeling terrible i cant think anymore my mind is blank i want to take a sledge hammer to my head just to see whats in there thatd be stupid though i dont see a future for myself i wish it didnt all happen like this i feel like i never had a chance abused in childhood never loved by anyone and jealous of everyone who isnt grateful that theyre loved and appreciated my mind is gone any chances i had are gone at this point socially i will never be successful and so whats the point youre depressed yeah just tell your friends and family they love you and want you happy my family wont help me i dont have the means to help myself my brain is fucking mush what a world huhi dont know if i mean most of this but im not feeling good so dont take it too seriously,3.0
23011,head is pounding  well not really pounding more like tapping i suppose  homework time  ,2.0
23012,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
23013,chillin chillin chillin miss you mattie ,0.0
23014,hodduk damn i wanted to see you post pics of it  post pics anyway,2.0
23015, lol dito quotomg  its me doing itquot ur sooo cuteee idun even no all the girls who are in bad anymoreee its a mess,2.0
23016,no brainer when you have a mental illness you seek mental care ,1.0
23017,vickycornell that is a great pic thanks for sharing   cant wait til you guys are back in the states,0.0
23018, hey waiti like that movie and why are you going to school on sunday  ap stuffs ew ,2.0
23019,closeness or distance closeness but now everything seems so distant ,2.0
23020,the weather sucks  lets do something fun in the rain,2.0
23021,keshav yup i just joined and yeah i think its greater than  ,0.0
23022,well ive now got a chest infection and it hurts like a bitch  i want kfc ,2.0
23023,twinklesque oh no that really does suck ,2.0
23024,corkyiscrazy haha thank you  ,0.0
23025,im full but think i have room for chocolate torte  ill have to run tomorrow,0.0
23026,waiting for the bus to get to maeviegray  just spent � on face masks and berries ,0.0
23027,duncn very much so ,0.0
23028,goddessgreeneye i dont need one of him the seth in new moon is no comparison  only cute one in movie is jacob,2.0
23029,ahahaha my caches are beautiful and complete  and now to revise until my eyes bleed,0.0
23030,nickmltm  oh man that sucks hardcore haha good luck finishing up recording ,0.0
23031,watching sonny with a chance sterling knight  finished kill the possum o,0.0
23032,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
23033,feeling suicidal because of floaters now in treatment hello first of all i apologize if i dont explain myself really well my mother language isnt english and i also dont know some medical slangthree weeks ago i developed some floaters in my left eye and i started to research and i got worried if i dont get used to it last week i had a panic attack and told to my family whats wrong with me and i was having some suicidal thoughts because of thiswe made an appointment to our local psychiatrist which is an excellent professional and i felt relieved of her words like dont worry when your anxiety levels go down you will get used to it and youll dont see it as a problem just like being part of you shes very aware on how annoying is this problem she prescribed me sertraline which starts to work in about  weeks and lorazepam just in case i have high levels of anxiety and again suicidal thoughts lorazepam works really well and im on my  day with sertraline and yesterday i had some side effects like diarrhea and nauseas which i think its normal in this kind of treatmenti need some advice of you guys i always been a happy guy and now im living the worst days of my life and felt like im going mad and not get over it my mood is now like a roller coasterthank you,3.0
23034,combustiblesong well whats everything you like about me  egotrip,0.0
23035,i fail at everything im  i got nearly got no friends and i had depression for  years now but i lately been trying desperately to beat it and every time i think of a new ideahobby to start i am reminded of the thought inside of me i will just fail at this after a week like everything else i tried and go back to my depressed self and just mope in my bed or just watch anime which i do every time i even stop playing games because i think its pointless because i will just quit after  daysi just want to enjoy life again and not be depressed man,3.0
23036,ew rain ,2.0
23037,s my partings gone dodgy again ,2.0
23038,gruber quotwere sorry we missed youquot  ,2.0
23039,k leaving for tour in  days now ,0.0
23040,andifoo imnot feeling very well  fell asleep,2.0
23041,wedding done now off to beach if weather permits ,2.0
23042,at the office with alex this weather sucks but on the bright side i can bust out the boooots  ,0.0
23043,this is my first tweat  ,0.0
23044,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
23045,jehanara or just be kind enough to write a guest post on my gadget blog about that iphone pleeeeez ,0.0
23046,great cable tv and internet just went down stuck at home with nothing to do ,2.0
23047,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
23048,jeffpulver   have a nice flight,0.0
23049,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
23050,evilovesmcfly they are  who cares about batman or any othere superhero i have mcfly as my heros ,0.0
23051,ugh did mosquitos feast on my face while i was asleep or has time reversed and am i just  again this thing is enormous ,2.0
23052,tommcfly  then ure off to brazil rightwoop   check that out haha bowling for soups cover rule,0.0
23053,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
23054,eating a salad after weeks of depression binging on shit food is a spiritual experience,1.0
23055,need to be sleep have weights wrk and wrk again ,2.0
23056,leonardhoux happy birthday matey alas stuck at home today ,2.0
23057,im a horrible person i just am i wish i had the courage to kill myself so i can stop wasting everyones time with my presence but i know i never will,3.0
23058,sigh its never going to happen   httptweetsg,2.0
23059,so tired my toe hurts ,2.0
23060,rt idskaren series watched under academic stress gt series watched when completely idle,2.0
23061,arghhh welsh exam tomorrow ,2.0
23062,gostei de um vídeo youtube   sad official music video,0.0
23063,i hate that im going to be at work all day and the rest of my house is off ,2.0
23064,i have nothing to look forward to hey there first i want to say i love you all ive come to vent and share my story with you maybe there are some that feel like i do but i sincerely hope nobody is able to empathize here i am drunk right now and posting this on my main because fuck itive been postponing this post for a while now because i felt like i was never really depressed maybe i am not i dont have a diagnosis i have some good moments some good friends and i dont feel miserable all of the time i do however feel miserable most of the time maybe i am actually victimizing myself with thoughts of depression or maybe i have been gatekeeping myself i dont knowthere is nearly nothing i enjoy anymore all my hobbies that i once treasured lived for even are gone i still do them but they have become dull repetitive and thoroughly unenjoyable so here is what i do at the moment i play video games american football and try to snowboard during winter these are all activities that i used to enjoy but they are not fulfilling anymore i am not entirely sure why it may be that i perform all these by myself without any friends but i digress when i did these previously i was able to shut out most negative thoughts due to being preoccupied but now i am not even able to do that i cant achieve even a moment of peace in my head and when i am done doing these things all the pressure piles back on my mind i have almostimmediate withrawalsi keep waiting for a saviour on a white steed now i dont want this to turn into a relationship post but i have no one to talk to – to really open up to additionally i have some sexuality i need to figure out i might be gay but at the same time im thinking i am bi or maybe im asexual i just need someone who understands me and who i can share moments with but as of now every time ive tried to reach out to someone romantically they either stop talking or are only looking for sex i want to stress that i am owed nothing from anyone its just really really hard for me to start conversations with strangers and i feel like im in a paradox of finding no relationships or only superficial onesi think its my parents who are keeping me alive right now i am fortunate to have had a really loving and caring family around me and i am perpetually grateful for that now i have thought about ending it all now and then but i always vetoed it with the argument that it wouldnt be fair to my parents whom i love so much i just cannot bear the thought of them having to live with me dead or god forbid having them think they had anything to do with my misery however in a slightly selfpreservationist sense i keep worrying what will happen if theyre gone in the future i wont have the same excuse then so i dont have a way to justify my miserable existence anymore maybe ill still be a coward and unable to go through i dont knowi have nothing to look forward to the only thing ive had relatively going for me is my educational journey i know my job isnt going to be fulfilling in any substantial sense its soulless law what do i have to look forward tobonus rant this is the first night ive tried drinking to keep my misery down and its actually working right now however i know where this leads – alcoholism which is just another interim way to delay my emotional misery i am so afraid if nobody cares i will take comfort in the fact  that i wasnt able to spread my misery to anyone else but if you do ill be very grateful no one deserves this,3.0
23065,welp another year anyone have any advice drugs and alcohol cant even increase my dopamine anymore my brain is fundamentaly fucked at what point can i decide i didnt ask to be here and i am a prisoner in a human bodylast year i used to get super fucked up on alcohol this past couple months moved past it a bit and i still suck its not alcohol or drugs its just me i just suck i fucked up a job promotion i think i failed college i dont even know anything i owe a billion dollars i have no skills i have no hobbies what is the fucking point im only  and everyone says thats only the beginning of your life and you have so much to live for my first suicide attempt was when i was  and tried to strangle myself with a lamp cord i had a note and everything if after almost  years and everything is still not good what am i supposed to do i left school to do  grade online school because i was gonna kill myself because i had such negative thoughts from all the other girls then surprise keeping a psycho alone  wasnt a great idea either then when i went back  amp  i ate lunch in the bathroom stall every single day lindsay lohan made it popular but i can tell ya that stale vending machine bagel was not fun for  years straight in the handicap stall fucked up thing is i thing im sort of normal now i started college had lots of sex because drunk insecure lady now have a nice boyfriend had a decent opportunity to have a real good job til fucked up but all things going good still have zero happiness,3.0
23066,going to revamp my sites multiply facebook myspace and yola while listening to fix your face vol   coachella  ,0.0
23067,getting ready to sleep  i cant believe im driving a new car now ,0.0
23068,nsmithmorgan thanks for viewing my portfolio wwwwahliaocom  ill be updating it sometimes will keep u updated ,0.0
23069,is wasting my time  i give up ,2.0
23070,jonasbrothers right now my fav song is paranoid but im sure ill love every single song of the cd ,0.0
23071,acceleratemedia and we seriously love you thank you for continuing to shop with us ,0.0
23072,ahhlexaa i used to be od obsessed with him  lmao,2.0
23073, yeah screw u ,0.0
23074,am i depressed i think everyone around me would be happier if i was dead i feel like a burden to everyone and i dont think i am depressed because when i am around people i am fine and normal but when i am by myself i start thinking about stuff like that what would you call that,3.0
23075,twitterfon and i hate tweetie sorry but i think ill keep my beta copy of twitterfon pro ,2.0
23076,is stressed today amp not having a great day ,2.0
23077,making a milo ,0.0
23078,i has to go back out it is difficult to just stay home sometimes ,2.0
23079,brentlauren not at allllll the good thing is is that i get to eat again in a few minutes but that has no flavor either ,2.0
23080,craigsteele i did have it but i dont have it anymore ,2.0
23081,suicidal urge during isolation i thought i was doing ok the change at first was kind of exciting in a weird wayand now suddenly i feel like i cant copeit started when my elderly mother who i was trying to help through this crisis started telling me my concerns for her health and safety were not realistic she is  years old and i was just trying to help her order groceries for online delivery so she wouldnt have to go to the supermarket and risk infection she doesnt read the articles i send her about the dangers to people in her age groupshe made me feel ashamed for trying to help protect her healththen my wife decided she would disregard the stayathome order and began going out again as if everything was normali have a history of respiratory problems so she could easily bring home the virus and infect me also but she says she cant stand to stay at home anymore her lack of concern about my health and her own is extremely upsetting to meand my daughter who is  and lives away from home has chosen now to settle an old score with me she claims i loved her deceased sister more than her which is an extremely hurtful accusation and ive tried to get her to go to therapy with me on this but she has always refused and i cant discuss this with my wife because this is a daughter from a previous marriage who my wife basically wants me to disowni have no emotional support i have no friends i have never felt so alonei am not planning out anything but there is a feeling there like an urge to escape from this but there is no real way to escape from my lifei have had these feelings before and i did not act on themi need some healthy way to deal with this,3.0
23082,backstreetboys please twitt mee say hi paolabrian please ,2.0
23083,is disapointed because the bad florida weather is hurricanelike and is probably going to ruin her gettogether with kristjen ,2.0
23084,ishe dont be ,0.0
23085,trump and all climate change deniers make my anxiety go ⬆️⬆️ like do you have eyes a brain the idiocy is overwhelmingly,2.0
23086,acristopher gooood morning ,0.0
23087,so humid today everything is sticky ,2.0
23088,foofly it backfired  might go on a superhero tweeting spree later see what finds me,2.0
23089, a chapter done but have to go run errands ,2.0
23090,aimeilian thanks  and yeah especially when it comes to mental health ill take the placebo effect over the al ,1.0
23091,name that concerto i play a snippet you guess the concerto   ,0.0
23092,my god my mac has been acting like windows all day ,2.0
23093,alrighty i think its time that i should get off now gnight twitter world ,0.0
23094,jonathanrknight you dont follow joey joe ,2.0
23095,must dash as the lovely gym awaits im being facetious have a great day now wont you ,0.0
23096,rt fact having negative friends is linked to depression lowered self esteem insomnia and anxiety positive friends promote good overall,1.0
23097,saybohmc retroslimes jasknightwing ammorgaan as i said it is how it works for people with situational depressi ,1.0
23098,going to bed nite ,0.0
23099,im dying  years old amp i have a year or  to live because of heart disease  feel so bad ive missed out on so much i have been heartbroken twice in  months i cant wait to die,3.0
23100,feels like im throwing my life away could i get some advice guys throwaway acc i know none of yall know me but i dont really have anyone to talk to i feel like im kind of fucking my life over and i dont really know what to do i pretty much fucked my second semester of college ive been to maybe  classes this month and i fear its too late to catch up completely stopped going to the gym ive been smoking pot since the moment i wake up to when i go to sleep and i just cant stop i dont feel even remotely happy sober hell i barely feel happy when im high really disliking my classes but im afraid if i drop now ill lose my goverment funding but if i keep going odds are i fail every class then i still lose my goverment funding i really wanna get caught up but i cant stop smoking and doing cocaine at night then the coke has me up all my parents think im doing fine in class since i passed everything last semester but it kinda fell all apart  i cant focus on anything i start something and i stop  my mind is just all over the place i cant even focus for hour long classes  three hours is just way too difficult and half way through i dont even retain anything at that point i just wanna snort lines and smoke all day drink all night as sad as that is but thats the only thing that makes me genuinely happy but after college i dont wanna be working minimum wage my life if i fail feels like my life is already fucked and im  i have a lot of casual friends i hang out with but no real close friends even my friends think i go to class and do my shit while i just fuck around all day seems like all my friends can maintain this lifestyle while going to close but im just fallin off barely eat zero hunger zero sex drive just feels like im stuck working minimum wage after this i had the time of my life while i was here but its all coming down nowi really wanna see a therapist but idk how id pay for it what my family would think etc   idk why im even typing all this i doubt anyone here cares but its nice to just say it out loud for once,3.0
23101,i burned my thumb it hurts real badddddddd ,2.0
23102, nikki your on twitter    ,0.0
23103,rt marksolutely jenos armpit is even clearer and nicer than my face this is so sad alexa play go by nct dream ,0.0
23104,greek festival jake amp lynns extravaganza amp the crosswalk picnic yup its been a busy weekend ,0.0
23105,erinkarenina your welcomeeee ,0.0
23106,rt linzdefranco a lot of people ask how i handle having depression and anxiety the answer is simple covfefe,1.0
23107,my babies and i are being couch potatoes and we love it ,0.0
23108,cant sleep watching serial killers the green river killer on tlc     ,2.0
23109,time and change axienty driving me crazy this past year as a whole was a complete  on its own but ive always had a fear of time in a sense every  year around this time i think of the previous year and reminisce but since it was the year i graduated in may and lost people close to me i get kinda depressed when i think about this life rn feels empty and dull  compared to most of my high school years and its stressing me out ,3.0
23110,at work sooo sleepy last night was fun tho  totally worth it,0.0
23111,cigarmikeesq and you already know one cubanito here ,0.0
23112,at work  so tired but all my stuff is basically packed yay,2.0
23113,bergenlarsen the actress that played the oracle being replaced by an inferior in a crap coverup i bonded with her i wanted her cookies ,2.0
23114,amyhahm my laptop refused to start up so i took it to the apple store amp apparently my hard drive just decided to stop working ,2.0
23115,hackedunit what are you talking about i am already a member ,0.0
23116,i cant sleep ,2.0
23117,auditions are good but iam super nervous that is one of my virtues ,2.0
23118,paigekelly omg i know new york is miserable ,2.0
23119,thariamon nite ,0.0
23120,its sad i havent gone camping yet this summer 🙁,1.0
23121,up had loads of quotawquot moments made me miss having a dog ,0.0
23122,i was really sad to realize its only tuesday i miss him ,2.0
23123, awww  yay you,0.0
23124,yay for naps ,0.0
23125,im new here but glad to find a group anyone experienced tms so after  years of psychotherapy psychiatry gps not understanding the severity a stint in inpatient rehab and pain mgmt drs not to mention the thousands of pills my therapist finally brought this to my attention maybe because i admitted to scratching myself with a pushpin just enough to feel pain but not enough for my autistic son to find hes a lo but has the superpower of figuring out when something is wrong with mommy anyway ive done a fair amount of research but im still uncertain apparently i come from a long line of folks with various diagnoses and i was the lucky one who got them all sanyway my insurance doesnt cover tms but am considering it if it produces positive outcomes any advice welcome even gentle criticism  thank you in advance ,3.0
23126,danielspengies you may not be a douche but you play one on tv and yeah that aint her and i havent seen cms so who the fuck knows ,0.0
23127,i feel as though ive accepted it into my life i feel as though the quality of my life has gone down hill really really quickly in the last six months or so  ive got my whole life ahead of me but i feel as though i cant control anything in it  just over the last week or so ive been thinking real hard about all of it trying to get into a positive attitude and start making moves to change things improve things  then i realized that my attitude didnt change six months ago it was more like six years ago but until recently ive been distracted enough to be alright with it  if theres nothing i can control and i accept that then maybe i wont feel the pain of it maybe ill just feel sorta numb from it  im not sure if thats better or worse  just gotta hope its better ive still got that little bit of optimism there sorta proud of that little bit of optimism but i guess well see how it goes ,3.0
23128,rt saraashcraft you guys what did cronsell amp i tell you they seriously physically cannot handle the stress of thegreatawakening th,2.0
23129,happy mothers day to my momthat lady is the coolest  i love u ma,0.0
23130,izziestardust haha well now i hve to wait for a rerun  shouldnt be long lol,2.0
23131,nkotbmyangels why are you laughing at me ,2.0
23132,i dont think skype works with  anymore sad face ,2.0
23133,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
23134,nothing feels worth doing lately not even two full weeks into summer and ive already lost most of my enjoyment from doing anything i usually love doing drawing isnt fun video games arent fun and watching shows i like only make me feel more empty after an episode ends i really hate school but it forced structure into my day regardless of all the stress and anxiety and im afraid that a year from now when i wont be going to that place anymore this is the way im going to feel every second of every ensuing dayi dont know what to do with myself everything is just so joyless now even more than they usually are anybody else feel like this or have ways of combating this total lack of feeling,3.0
23135,sometimes i feel like my depression is over something stupid i feel like im depressed over stupid things that no one should be depressed about and i feel like im doing that to try to make people care about me which people dont alot of the people at my school im  in middle school dont care that im depressed even though ive just quit trying to hide it alot of the girls in my school who dont have alot of friends get so much attention when theyre just a little upset about something like a friend going away for a while at my school i dont ever get noticed even by my teachers i hang out with my friend evan and im happy when i do but alot of the times people tell me im faking it when people say that it hurts anytime im not hanging out with my friends i just sit there forgotten about like im nobody one of my ex friends called me out for something i didnt do in front of my band class we were just joking around and he took it way too far and said at least i didnt ask out every girl in the  grade that wasnt true and everyone heard him when i said he took it way to far we were saying really stupid insults like your a dumb dumb and other first grade insults just joking around the truth is i asked out  people and dated one of them people are just so mean to me and they say the understand and that theyre sorry just to go and do it again the next week i go to school always wearing hoodies because im very insecure about my weight because i have an eating disorder my hoodies are a good way to hide my cuts on my arms when i do cut myself which i started to grow out of then started doing it again i really just wanted to put this out there and see if there is anyone who can relate and that i can talk to,3.0
23136,help i dont really know how to start this but ive been depressed for maybe  months now and i dont really know what to do im  and live with my parents but i dont want to talk to them about it my dads a total cunt and all he does is yell at me and my mom my moms no help either she just blames me for the way my dad is and my sister is just kinda invisible to them all my friends tell me i should start doing therapy but i dont want to talk to some random stranger ive also been a druggiealcoholic for about  months its the only thing that helps im actually drunk rn a couple months ago i had a drug induced seizure i wasnt trying to kill myself or anything but it felt kinda good thinking i was gonna die and thinking that i wasnt gonna have to deal with my problems anymore i guess im just looking for advice on what to do because im completely lost,3.0
23137,rcsaustin noted ,0.0
23138,sineadcochrane so youre more a half eaten bag of dry roasted peanuts than a half full bag of dry roasted peanuts gal ,0.0
23139,i dont feel welcome i dont feel welcome around family or friends i feel like a burden to everyone around me and like they only hang out with me because they dont want to be mean i feel like the third wheel even when its just me and one other person,3.0
23140,cant wait to go home to all my men my  little boys amp my baby june ,0.0
23141,so  i got an interview for wayne,0.0
23142,i hope im not doomed with back ache all summer  i can actually see that happenin,2.0
23143,thesupergirl oo i almost forgot i made a few videos for ya in the market i need to check em out first ,0.0
23144,plugging away at my virtual assistant client work already ,0.0
23145,bduenas  no itss nott she just went there to watch taylor swift in concert for the weekend shes coming back ,0.0
23146,june   am jb live chat  for the philippines,0.0
23147,morrrinnn  ive just woken up and i feel awful  bad times ,2.0
23148,going to bed ,2.0
23149,imagine how nice it would be to not have social anxiety wow wish i could relate,0.0
23150,i just need someone to talk i dont even think that i have depression but i dont know where to go and i need help i go through a rough time right now i dont like my job my love life is a huge mess i feel miserable everyday i just wake up everyday with the feeling that my life is on standby and i can do nothing about anything i can just wait and it drives me crazy i feel like im going down a bad spirale and that scares me and something is messing up with my head big time but i cant talk about it with anyone close to me i just want to talk to someone who wont juge me,3.0
23151,my mom is so dumbshe wont let me leave my house ,2.0
23152,its super hot right here  im perspirating even with the fan on ,2.0
23153,sagramont mucho tweet sentimental que padre tu grill ,0.0
23154,still with erika erin and kels note erins were never meant to headbang to rockband songs neck hurts like a motha out with my sister ,0.0
23155,i lied she won best breakthrough female haha i want kat to win from nick amp norahs     and saho i dont know how many hours its  now,2.0
23156,sylverz im in the mood for reading angsty poetry ,2.0
23157,just finished a bag of fritos my head hurts ,2.0
23158,quimo jordanknight yea its  super  i cant even open twittercom but with disby i am on it without fail  its the best ever,0.0
23159,charliepick very disappointing and sadnow were  ,2.0
23160,managing cashflow when you start your homebusiness is difficult  everything costs money especially facebook ,1.0
23161,is in rather a lot of pain  im a fuck upowwwwwwww ,2.0
23162,lack of energys killing me whenever i sit down to do anything that ive been wanting to do read a book ive been wanting to read practice a piece on the piano start working on music production within  minutes i feel like i need to go to sleep i hate it ive been doing better about getting out but when i have no plans and im at home i could be keeping busy still with things i do like and want to do i just cant focus or sustain enough energy to get to work ,3.0
23163,im super sad at the moment ,2.0
23164,nothing like a nice big glass of orange juice to quench my thirst ,0.0
23165,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
23166,family guy jello drawing blogging chatting sleeping ,0.0
23167,i feel so pathetic first of all english is not my first language and i dont have anyone to proof read please just ask me if you dont understand anything last year i have done an internship and found my dream workingplace the work is interesting and fun and most important i feel accepted as a person but i have to do a job training for   years started august  so i will be qualified to work there i have to rotate through several departments and i cant handle this stress there a departments that are ok but then there a those with a lot of people which is so freaking exhausting for me but mostly i dont like the work and have a pretty hard time to do a good job i constantly feel discouraged everytime when i try to encourage myself it instantly gets shattered i have to be present the whole time mentally too but my brain just stops working i can barely process simple questions suicide thoughts started againi already was sick at home for a few weeks but its worse than before i had to go early on my last day because i had headaches since im back at work and my stomach is upset in addition to being depressedi dont know how to handle the next department that im scared of luckily im at my homedepartment this april but im scared to talk to my chef about all the problems i have with the training i dont want to lose my future job but i dont want to be a burden or worse resign i always make a big ruckus about how depressed im and how much help i need to get through stress at least thats how it was at the school i visited last i dont want to have this attention again and i dont want them to regret choosing me especially when they have to wait  years for methe person in charge of the rotation is a pretty spiteful person i really dont want to ask them myself to change the plan and i dont want to let them know about my mental state there a so many people who are able to work at places they hate and i dont know how you guys do this thank you for taking the time reading it ,3.0
23168,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
23169,struggling i used to think life was really simple until i looked at my desk  thank god my life isnt this messy ,0.0
23170,wants to learn how to ride a bike ,2.0
23171,amarap told u i got a twitter ,0.0
23172,how do you get over a loss of appetite when im not doing well i cant eat enough i know i should but i cant make myself i eat just enough to not feel painfulhungry anymore and i cant take another bite if i do i puke it all up half an hour later i gag on everything even my own saliva im constantly clearing my throat in the most obnoxious way possible just to get the mucus out of the way so i dont throw upits not a body image thing i just cant eatis there any way to try and move past it,3.0
23173,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
23174,derek is realizing how happy he really is and how lucky he should feel hes in love with such a wonderful girl she means everything ,0.0
23175,i dont know what to tell my boyfriend i havent been deeply depressed in a year  i wanted to hang out with my boyfriend tonight because he always stops me before i get suicidal but he has plans to hang out with his friend who he sees every  months or so i got upset on the phone but i dont want to stop him from hanging with his friend and i dont want to tell him im depressed because i dont wanna seem like im manipulating him into hanging out with me it caused a fight and now itll really seem like im manipulating him if i say something but im sobbing and im having suicidal thoughts again ,3.0
23176,unstung lol allergic kasi si inay sa beer mas gusto ko nga ice cold san mig light  pero i drink sa bahay lamang during gigs i dont ,0.0
23177,i missed a call from my mother again  she is somewhere in lhasa travelling   ,2.0
23178,global warming  shitty weather for the rest of our lives ,2.0
23179,off to gh to meet up soodugyot shawarma time ,0.0
23180,eating left over bul go gi  then off to dreamland  great day today i love my girls  big day tomorrow  why cant anyone be trusted,0.0
23181,rt sadhgurujv what we need is inclusive human beings that every one of us will do whatever is within our capability  whatever is possib,1.0
23182,i dont exactly know how to word this i think i might be getting depressed again i was depressed when i was a little youngerim  now but i was very depressed from the ages of  i felt better for a good while but i managed to work my way out of it now im here again but its a little worse when i was younger and told my family about how i felt they laughed at me told me my emotions were invalid and when i asked for a therapist they tried to convince me i was totally okay more for their sake than mine if i told them now they wouldnt believe me next to everything goes right for me im pretty much a perfect student my grades slipped a little bit recently but im trying to work them up again im charismatic im a varsity soccer player and very high ranking in my jrotc program so why in the hell could i have these emotions theres no reason for it right if i told my family they would just be angry and accuse me of attention whoring im not okay and i dont have a reason for it ridiculousi have absolutley zero motivation for anything anymore i dont want to do anything anymore i dont want to be social anymore i dont want sex anymore im filled with a feeling of dread more than usual at the thought of doing anything but i have to keep going on acting normalso reddit i dont know what to do i just want to cry but i cant having bloodshot eyes would raise questions from my family can anyone offer any advicetldr im some probably depressed fuck  who cant tell his family because of the way they reacted last time he tried any advice,3.0
23183,rt charlieangusndp i thank justintrudeau for speaking for our nation at this terrible time as we mourn we must discuss the proliferati,1.0
23184,work experiance fail ,2.0
23185,ekali pens a strong message about mental health and respect  ,0.0
23186,stereotype or true ya know that saying that goes depressed people people with depression are always the nicesthappiestkindest because they never want anyone to feel what they feel ive always believed this to be untrue from personal experience and im working on this i treat others horribly due to my depression i make everyone around me miserable just to make them miserableanyone else have any opinions on this,3.0
23187,davidstea sweetdefinitely gonna try the posicles  can i try it wany of the teas,0.0
23188,awful awful day  hope it gets better,2.0
23189,experience using teledoc for antidepressants i get seasonal depression quite badly starting in december or so every year since at least  im  now i live in minnesota so darkness and cold get really bad ive done everything i have read and heard to try like light boxes vitamin d exercise i use a light box for an hour every morning sometimes in the afternoon too i take  of vitamin d almost every day sometimes i forget i do power yoga or go to the gym almost every day nothing seems to helpi sleep  hours when i dont have to get up for work in the morning or when i cant i wake up tired i have a hard time finding the energy to go do anything or see my friends i get cranky i crave all the carbs like pasta and pizza etc the usual anyway long story short does anyone have experience using teledoc to get antidepressants prescribed i want to try medication to see if it helps but im worried about paying for the appointment and them not being able to prescribe them anyway and obviously im nervous to make the appointment in the first place i have high deductible insurance so im trying to save moneyany advice is appreciated,3.0
23190,found a coffee shop open till    god i need direction i wonderis worry ever healthy,0.0
23191, same shit we just got extention and its stressin me ,2.0
23192,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,2.0
23193,real housewives of new jersey ,0.0
23194,is so jealous pcd ,2.0
23195,hayfever time  not good,2.0
23196,does spelling and grammar count on twitterapparently i have tons of typos on here ,2.0
23197,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
23198,inaperfectworld men wouldnt try to fuck u in the azz hot flash  painful,2.0
23199,agt jbobrienmusic judgecuts sad i still dont know how to tweet properly still trying since gracevanderwaal ch ,1.0
23200,says she stopped to save a turtlebut it was too late ,2.0
23201,my aesthetic ,1.0
23202, yay me too ,0.0
23203,sataranights uuuuh ,0.0
23204,aw i missed all the fun  stupid work  ,2.0
23205,just killed two spiders and i feel goooood ,0.0
23206,cfoservices before slamming the door he told me it was his bday and he didnt have to turn it down until  the cops confirmed that ,2.0
23207,how do i know if i actually have a problem hello everyone i just wanted to share what ive been going through over the past few years in general i would say my life is good i have privileges that so many are not fortunate enough to have parents paying for college paid for a car during high school etc there are days where i feel happy enjoying moments with my friends and family  however those moments of joy are often short lived and soon followed by moments where i feel empty and question what direction my life is heading in when i look at my life i feel i have no reason to complain or be sad especially when i compare it to all the pain and suffering so many others have to go through  im doing what ive always been told to do go to college get a job etc yet i still find myself in this rut where i am not happy incapsulated by loneliness and i really dont understand why i feel this way im not sure if i should seek out help or if this is just the normal highs and lows of life thanks for taking the time to read this post any thoughtscomments you have would be appreciated,3.0
23208,starting a new day ,0.0
23209, eenie meanie  only one  dont think itll be a yes yes yes lol,2.0
23210,bethdanielle  sadly you did she sang quotyou belong with mequot ill try to find you a video of it,2.0
23211, im really cool ,0.0
23212,playing cards with leanne and downs my brother long story so much fun haha won our second game today too ,0.0
23213,i found my motivation quotnever back downquot how can you not fall in love with that smile ,0.0
23214, its coolthe message is the important part ,0.0
23215,princess protection program was nice  story bout friendship aww   i miss my best friend kailaravanzo,2.0
23216,spinnin at lakeland tonight the crowd is always super hypeddd i love it ,0.0
23217,jonathanrknight aw youre so cute  hugs  ,0.0
23218,i dont know why i even try anymore im in community college and my grades are slipping and i just feel weird about it almost like i dont care i want to care and i actually try and study the material but i always procrastinate till the last minute or skip class for some stupid reason i really dont know what im doing really and i feel so behind in my studies and just have no passion for it i used to care so much about school and had good grades but i couldnt keep it up i was supposed to transfer after this year to another university but i know i wont get accepted why would they want me im not a good student im not even an average one im not in any extracurriculars or anything i dont have the grades and i certainly dont have the money i feel like im wasting my time here and really feel out of place at school no friends or anything just spend most of my time alone doing nothing i thought i could change when i graduated high school but no just more of the same everyone has there own little groups and what not and im just alone always alone and i dont even care ive become so used to it and even when im in positions to make friends i always stumble and fail to make the next step im just rambling on sorry i just needed to put my thoughts into words,3.0
23219,blkrichyrich lol awwww  issues,2.0
23220,busy week cant wait for prom ,0.0
23221,do you think depression is linked with sexual perversion im currently going through some deep self analysis at the moment and speaking with a therapist really revealed a lot about my inner often disturbing perverted nature so i wonder if the two are linked in any way do you have any perverted thoughts beyond what is considered average what sorts of fantasies do you have do you think that contributes to your depressioni appreciate any insights thanks i hope everyone else is doing ok out there,3.0
23222,henrywu i bought it a few years ago on ebay and love the little machine  i got it working on  thankfully ,0.0
23223,regents tomorrow  wish me luck confidence is the key,2.0
23224,joellllllll no can u send me yours   i wont copy it  i promise ,0.0
23225,when you nightmares seem so real they scare you and you wake up from it with extra anxiety,1.0
23226,used my starbucks bathampbodyworks amp bestbuy graduation giftcards today  and went to see drag me to hell  it was a good day,0.0
23227,do watermelons contain endorphins why do i feel unusually depressed without my usual dose of watermelons today ,2.0
23228,going to go watch lock stock and two smoking barrels ,0.0
23229,ladybanana i knew id picked the right colour combothe lighting at there house isent good had   choose  orange  bring out my eyes ,0.0
23230,nikabok thanks nik  your tees are in the mail ,0.0
23231,bridgethaddix  a cool washcloth on ur forehead usually helps a lil bit,2.0
23232,rustlingragazza dunno its all a foreign language to me website talk you are best contacting her if u think u can help ,0.0
23233,niqueyalston lol uh because its a long ride and im bored wit nothin better else to do an normal ppl sleepin at this time so im sol ,2.0
23234,need to write an essay  battleground,2.0
23235,bedits the weekend starting at  tomorrow and there is going to be a giants win to celebrate ,0.0
23236,checking my web site out you should to  httpviktorvanityweeblycom,0.0
23237,we made it to the financial times ,0.0
23238,alwaysmommy yay hes adorable and has so much hair ,0.0
23239,just signed up for this looks like very few people i know are using this ,2.0
23240,theesco oooh but no for me just did big reno and going on a vaycay im all out ,2.0
23241,my parents make me depressed they hate on me all the timei know they probably dont even realizethey probably just think their making conversation and what notsome back storythey are separated but are together often because i have siblingsokay so my always talking to me saying im sarcastic and rude and bittermy dad doesnt do anything around the house i do it alli was robbed of a childhoodthey are always coming down on me for one reason or another my dads mad because i didnt do laundry my moms mad because im not constantly smilingto be honest if i didnt have my boyfriend and brothers i would never smilethey are all that mattersof course my one brother says im overweight and annoying but i can deal with that i already think it so hes just telling me how it isim so over all this tho im tired of all the hate and responsibilities put on me im  shouldnt have to deal with thisi want out but cant get outi dont know what to do anymoremy parents are disappointed in me i know im not good enough,3.0
23242,rt  update warm n sad,1.0
23243,bah i really do feel like a bit of a dick i keep doing it to myself  anyway off to bed night all,2.0
23244,buckhollywood hello oh god of youtube  followfriday scandalous,0.0
23245,gotta work on my birthday ,2.0
23246,support been having long episodes lately  recently had a breakdown that ended up with me cutting my wrist and passing out on the floor at  am without anyone checking on me during the whole night  just need someone to talk to  anyone really  because im this close from ending it all  ,3.0
23247,mizzsexiibaby thx for the twesent bestie ,0.0
23248,fuck tomorrow i cant sing ,2.0
23249,clockhours hey natalie thanks for that the music i used was off my album i recorded ten years ago lol old but guess it still works ,0.0
23250,still working but i am planning on being outside by  please tell me off if you see no twitpic evidence to prove otherwise ,0.0
23251,cantyanty i really gotta try that one day ,0.0
23252,at studio  smoking and got some tea remind me on  pm miss someone ,2.0
23253,high anxiety exotic places mystery suspense iartg rrbc novellas kindle   ,2.0
23254,hawaiirealty nice pic ,0.0
23255,im a  goodlooking white dude who dropped out of college and lost a chance with a  in a million girl and it hurts so im  from the western us i have a great family  siblings im second oldest my life started wellwent to private school then was homeschooling from grades   high school with super senior year homeschooling is pretty isolated so i didnt get thick skin we had to do chores for no money and did not get an allowance to teach us hard work my great grandparents were very poor immigrants from europe so we understood to be diligent we could however collect pinecones off the lawn at our old house for  eachanywayi grew up pretty normal struggled with puberty had many crushes and never did anything about it i am good looking and tall and i didnt know girls like that i literally did not know girls liked being physical until i was  or so i just thought they liked romantic walks and that made me feel bad for the hormones i was having so i would never return glances and got really proud about not showing i liked them i did accidentally return  glance in english class to a girl who liked me and felt embarrassed for doing thati applied to  colleges my senior year then  my super senior year could have gone to miami holy cross vassar hillsdale but chose a local school after visiting vassar and not liking iti enrolled in their honors program and their engineering program insane  only about  people out of  were doing that combo i am a literature buff but did engineering because i had friends who made good money with it mistake should have been a teacher because im enfj went for moneymy freshman year i got by but was already drifting bad i had a great roommate fall term but had bad habits would sneak out and buy candy and isolatespring term i moved  mile away with an older couple to save on tuition mistake do not go thru college isolated without your roommates bad idea i had to bike and walk back and forth every morningnight with a  backpack and sneak around the house that couple went to bed at  every night and had a rescue dog that was a terribly ugly picanese that term i failed physics but passed everything elsethen i got in some fights with my dad and had to move out for the summer some nice people hosted me for free in a rural town  miles away so i could take vector calculus i got a straight b which i am proud of but was the least adept in my summer class i also had to bike about  miles a day up and down hills on a trashy bike for class got insanely strong thighs very lonely thoughsophomore year i decide to drop honors program and just do engineering i told myself i could make friends later mistake do not do a degree you cannot do i had physics with calc diffeq and digital logic in  term absolute helli did choose to move back with my buddies but my room was  bed and got super isolated my engineer buddy would try to knock on my door in the morning to go to class and i would just try to fake being asleep spent tons of time isolating and had to come home after about  months of watching sportspolitics and skipping class i went to walgreens one day and bought   worth of sour candy and junk food then ate like half and basically took over the loft area of the dorm and started sleeping up there  guy came up there to make out with his girlfriend and was like dude do you like live up here and went back down embarrasingso i started working at chipotle and then went back to school the next term i convinced the honors program staff to let me back in and dropped engineering i started in cognitive science crazy how much i bounced around all in less than  years i never built up any kind of rythym i commuted into school from home with two friends mistake do not commute from home it tore me apart i would never have enough time with friends at school and then would feel lazy at home bad combomy final spring term i was spiralling hard the worst day was when i was walking down a hallway in the morning and was supposed to go to my honors class to the right but slowed down and eventually turned left and went to the school library basement to isolate in their computer room soon i spent about  hours a day there over and over only other regular in that room was a dude who loved streaming mlb games i got to know him and hes married now and graduated from that dungeonso here i was rushing to the library each day hoping none of my  friends would see me and then darting out as fast as i could at night super ashamed then acting like i went to class to my family i did go to the honors class  last time and apologized for missing it to the whole class many of them tried messaging me but i did not respondi left school without saying goodbye to anyone i mean anyone no teachers students no one that hurt i loved people in the honors classcame back home and watched iron fist season  and march madness my family was away on travel suicidal thoughts started flying at me i started working again this time for a terrible boss at a nonprofit from hell was hell i kept regretting the past  years i had a crush on someone in the honors club she was  in a million prettiest girl in the whole school and extremely honest i was in a small group with her and had many chances with her but never asked her out i would just send her glances instead so stupid i thought it was too early and that i could just get to know her organically with friends instead of asking her out directly mistake girls like you if you are likeable and if you show itshe became an obsession but i never did anything about it shes now married to the dude who replaced me and became roommates with my old roommate when i moved off campus i still dream about her and did so again last night she liked me and it could have worked was also hell did manual labor landscaping at the nonprofit and do a bunch of shady bookkeeping stuff for my boss who was always cutting corners then in the summer i got caught up in a terrible scam that cost me over  i get credit card mail all the time and my phone is ringing like  times a day from them still was a bit better i started making about  at the nonprofit but boss was still insane his father never told him he loved him he also became a meth addict in his  and was in recovery but a compete messyelling at us saying he would cut our hours totally insane he once called a bunch of people at  because he was worried about something he also dried his underwear on fans in our office he also used nursery pots to take craps at our nursery site where he lived part time and stole thousands of dollars of plants for our company really messed up person lives alone everyone knows he is crazy but would not say it when i gave him my two week notice he threatened to sue mei left that job in late  and am back home reading reddit feeling depressed but slowly hopeful im  no degree  in debt i do have a strong family but that is challenging because they have their lives figured out and im the only grandchild out of  relatives that dropped out of collegeinstead of being a teacher and married to my crush i am in severe debt have little self esteem and only  remaining friend outside my familyreddit has helped i took screenshots of many posts about how things will get better in life if you are patient but going from my honors club to that shitty nonprofit was likewalking down the street with friends on a sunny spring day and then falling into a manhole and being stuck in the sewer for  years terrible darknessin  i started a new job in a factory and left after  day everyone was depressed i should have least made  or so before leaving mistakenow i am looking at usps or a local job for work this week has been very dark later night i charted my life in terms of my happiness and where i want to be at age  see attached photothere is still hope i can pay things off in two years then move out on my own i can have a pretty normal life by  and start dating then so i am slowly turning the corneri am already  i also am only i installed a bunch a dating apps and got several messages but then deleted them that wont fix anything i need a good relationship even if it takes  years to starttwo things learn from what i did if you are going to college do not isolate live with roommates study what you love dont prioritize money trust me you will be saved from great pain and have a great life if you follow these steps in college do you guys have similar stories or advice i had a great start in life and now a lot of that is erased also reply back with charts of your happiness would love to see them  is moderately happy  is very low  very high do it in excel it will change the way you see your life it lets you see your lifes momentum for the first time,3.0
23256,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
23257,good morning campers  wwwdigitalgroupmediacom,0.0
23258,tonetharana oh gsto ko haha ikaw sad ,2.0
23259,an interesting enough title my parents have always been very ignorant and biased and theres not much i can do about it my friend was telling me i need to keep trying to talk to them about it even though they always blow it off my friend was yelling at me over the phone which actually made me want to kill myself im fine im okay im safe i just dont know what to do about the friend,3.0
23260,ok watched all of the guild crazy but compelling  gonna finish off the gag reel and get some zzzs,0.0
23261,geekysteph sorry to gloat on your early rising but i just woke up at   x,0.0
23262,should i see a therapist ive been in a rut i lack courage to speak in most social settings never know what to say in one on one interactions and even worse with women there are times i become so depressed i question my existence and plot to end it i masturbate almost every day to find a sense of relief then feel a sense of guilt because of the method i feel colassally lonely i worry that il die alone and the thought stays with me everyday for two years now ive been smoking weed drinking doing acid shrooms dmt to try and find answers and to ignore my thoughts im a  year old virgin ive only had one girlfriend and more than anything i just want to find a companion to escape my loneliness but i cant get past myself to speak and i know im not at peace with myself is this something i should try because ive already set it in my mind that i wont live like this long ive even declared so to my family,3.0
23263,swatkatt oh i am okay my dog just had a seizure ,2.0
23264, weeks left before summer vacation no summer school   here we goooo ,0.0
23265,come on republicanstake nothing for granted get out and vote in every election,1.0
23266,dannygokey  you should find a new airline  maybe you should think about carryon luggage ,2.0
23267, ohh im watching my best friends wedding its so sad ,2.0
23268,rt rachaelmbade really moving question from woman who has a son wsevere mental health issues who lives on ssdi which potus cuts knight,0.0
23269,is anyone a dr i need to interview one today amp docs are hard to find on sundays ,2.0
23270,welli just lost my job been struggling with depression and anxiety and a few other things for months and was just beginning to seek treatment and had let my boss know that i would be coming to them soon with more information i have been struggling and striving for a while and i guess it wasnt enough although my position was also one of isolation and just having to figure things out for myself and it was not a good job for someone with depressionthe thing is my position along with many others was going to be eliminated in a few months anyway and i wasnt planning to apply for one of the new positions i was going to take some time for recovery and selfcare and now im just cut off,3.0
23271,hellonhairylegs aww thanks  i know theyre monstrosities i blame academia makes me unable to be simple p,0.0
23272,lisax    hahaha i dont think im excited at all  d   omg lisa  i neeeeeeeeeeeeeed to calm down ,0.0
23273,please talk to me i cant stop crying,3.0
23274,worked  hours yesterday now i have to do it all again on  hours of sleep   this should be interesting,2.0
23275,maryssfromparis maligayang kaarawan sayo maryss at magenjoy ka  this day cheers ,0.0
23276,the weather is gross outside it puts me in a bad mood ,2.0
23277,watching the movie i rented the women with my mom btw i realized i have no followers so im going to try and get some ,0.0
23278,kimioko they were literally going off right outside my window they were for ring dance here at the academy ,0.0
23279, deans with errronee  ,0.0
23280,nhweas hi i teach some chinese lessons on youtube feel free to have a look  wwwyoutubecomchineselearn,0.0
23281,redhossy a sad tale of poor shorty who shouldnt have been so naughty trespassing in your tank hes got only himself to thank ,0.0
23282,heysetareh  why,2.0
23283,kimishph happy thoughts lang hehehe yehey movie night later girl  nick and norah tara ,0.0
23284,pleasurep awwww thats cute  what are you learning to cook today,0.0
23285,manmademoon lol curious to know what the big one would look likestuffed already just by the look of it ,0.0
23286, hi my friendhowve u been i miss everyone from school ,2.0
23287,goldensunshyne ive got news for u missy theres only  of me ,2.0
23288,on my way back from carsons grad party ,0.0
23289, aerlingus britishairways holidays are supposed to be relaxing amp with no stress this has been so stressful,2.0
23290,joannaangel ya that number is no longer in service ,2.0
23291,just saw shooting star ,0.0
23292,myancooper good to hear that your ok now ,0.0
23293,rt mhtodaymag depression  how our clever brains contribute to our depression httpstcomgyooakzcd and how therapy can help,0.0
23294,what is this shit ,2.0
23295,rageaccount silence boy whys everyone older than me  oh well drinks on u ,2.0
23296,school time ¬¬     amp my straighteners are dying ,2.0
23297,i tried to kill myself last month and now i realise how bad i was feeling this past  months i had decided to kill myself i rewrote the notes several times the first time all i could think was what does a depressed person write in a suicide note so i rewrote it several times during the months that passed all while all i could think of what was the best way to kill myself and pushing the date because of birthdays and so on but the day finally came when i had no other options so i left the note while my boyfriend was home told him i would go to the store instead i went out in the woods with a knife and i started cutting but the blade was so dull that it was hard to cut so i sat on a big rock and contemplated should i just continue have my boyfriend found the note yet is the police looking for me yet and i started to think what if they found me before i was dead and i felt so much shame then i started thinking about what if i would go home and tell everyone everything  it felt like i was out there forever but it was only  hours so i decided to go home and see what happens with the option that i could kill myself later i saw the police car outside of the apartment building and almost turned back so much shame flooded me but i walked up and opened the door and there was a police and i asked if my boyfriend is here and he came running from our bedroom and gave me the best hug i ever had the police drove us to the hospital and i got some help but even there i could not tell the doctor everything i was feeling and why the doctor asked me how long i had been feeling like this i told him i had been suicidal for six months and he just said that long have you asked for help before i just shook my head and said no i didn´t need it because i had already decided right there and then it was liked something clicked in my brain that i am depressed but in my mind i wasnt depressed i just knew i didnt want to live any longer  when we got home again i called my family and my mother got on a plane the next day then i finally told them everything it was the best feeling i cried and my mom held me like a was a child again a few days later i went to my hometown with my mom and stayed there for a few weeks until i knew i had a doctors appointment waiting a homenow im back home with my boyfriend seeing a doctor got antidepressants and she put me on sick leave for two months to start with im seriously trying my best to fix myself but its so hard and i know i have family and friends i can call when its bad i just cant i dont want them to feel bad i still don´t know if i want to live yet it feels like i´m waiting for something but i don´t know what,3.0
23298, shit that sounds fun dont have any theme parks were i live lukie you ,0.0
23299,i am going to be living in  next year deposit paid ,0.0
23300,  ahhh its prettyy,0.0
23301,gahhh cant find any decent versions of any of their songs but this is a cover so im in   ,0.0
23302, real people on what finally worked for their anxiety  ,2.0
23303, congrats on the big announcement of having a little boy adrian would love some pals to tumble and rumble with soon ,0.0
23304,i miss my boyfriend his bed and his goofiness harumph ,2.0
23305,im off to school to listen to the teachers do nothing more than complain about everything ugh center afterwards be back around  ,0.0
23306,amandalopez i feel like the mosquito bites have just appeared on my arms i dont ever remember seeing or feeling them bite me ,2.0
23307,jaymekayyy uhhhm not sure but mr depp looks as sexy as ever ,0.0
23308,essexeating do let us know where you end up ,0.0
23309,  ewww thats discusing ,2.0
23310,miguelstdancer what are you feeling micky pls follow me back ,0.0
23311,i have a good life so why am i so miserable overall my life is rather good but i cant help but feel miserable most days im in a great relationship with someone i love i have a stable job a great house but i just cant get happy the only real bad thing that i can see is that the stable job i mentioned i cant stand most of the time but its the only job i could get at the time,3.0
23312,idejmcd were you referring to a columbia tweetup then if so were a part of smccolumbia ,0.0
23313,joetrippi its not a criticism just a observation ,0.0
23314,such a nice day out and im stuck at work ,2.0
23315,sarahdessen and i love how your books take place in the same city i just saw macy and wes in just listen lol ,0.0
23316,im convinced theres something wrong but i dont know how to get help for a while ive been struggling with or at least i think i have been some sort of mental illness and the only one ive found that matches me perfectly is depressionat first i didnt think anything of it but recently it has gotten much worse i constantly feel like just switching my life off and i know it sounds common but i feel very empty and deprived of emotions i live with my family which stops me from self harming however i weirdly crave it and have resorted to doing it a few timesim not going off this but many times ive looked up symptoms of depression and i relate to them alli wouldnt do it but most days i feel like dying or just stopping my life for a while and have thought of how good it would be to go into a coma or something like thathowever i dont know how to say anything and i havent told anyone at all about any of this many people my age joke about these things so even if i told someone i trust im sure they would just think im over exaggerating and wouldnt believe me and even if i did say something i wouldnt want my family to worry so im just stuck and dont know what to doi would appreciate someone who has dealt with this to help or help me find out what i have if i do have anything,3.0
23317,why are people acting so weird lately i want spaghetti ,2.0
23318,dementia is a difficult thing the patient has no idea shes suffering from it and will fight against the very ide ,1.0
23319,wow today is my one year anniversary of moving to london ,0.0
23320,but what about faith   peter  ,0.0
23321,helenwhy i see haha  whatve you been up to outside of work,2.0
23322,geekjames its amazing the dvds ill put on my netflix list just based on the trash potential inherent in their titles ,0.0
23323,to stay or not to stay at bell gaaaah this is driving me nuts ,2.0
23324,jus realised a great cup of coffee and a bar of choc on a rainy day beats anythin on earth  ,0.0
23325,i still want to live i guess but im too tired im  my name is not ada but its a nice name im diagnosed with depression and gad i know i can be strong i know i can find motivation but my body is shaking itself ive been taking meds for year now i was hospitalized once and i still have troubles with myself with sleeping with living like a regular person someone very dear to me told me once that im his lighthouse but he didnt mean it i just wish he could care about me as i care about him it hurts it hurts because hes the only one i felt safe with after i broke up with a man who was a monster i wish i was stronger most of all however i wish i could learn to live for myself is here anyone my age or older who can tell me its still worth waiting ive been like this since years and although i was fighting for myself it didnt really change anything im just losing hope,3.0
23326,the door,1.0
23327,tweetlvr i experienced the same thing i had the entire the irresponsible captain tylor on my list now i dont anymore ,2.0
23328,markohatma tinakei just got a blackberry use socialscope or ubertwitter ,0.0
23329,getting green with arnold ,0.0
23330, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,2.0
23331, awh  ill chat with you here until your ready to sleep,2.0
23332,at home with the mouse ,0.0
23333,my bus was early amp i was not sad face ,2.0
23334,alexischarlotte lame  and how is it your fault,2.0
23335,totally bit it going over some railroad tracks in traffic bike is pretty fucked up and im a little messed up ,2.0
23336,fabulista so fun good luck cant wait to read up on it ,0.0
23337,rt lennonbartley you ever miss that one friend so much that you think about all your memories and the stuff you did and it makes you sad,1.0
23338,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
23339,wishes he could see a dentist ,2.0
23340,something just gave me anxiety and i forgot what it was,1.0
23341,last day in pcb gotta make it count ,0.0
23342,dili i cannot agree more bro ,0.0
23343,jane is electric and in a family full of eccentrics ,0.0
23344,zhenerak i thought i was your best friend ,2.0
23345,its my birthday and i feel nothing its the anniversary of my self harm worst ive felt in a long time i enjoy nothing but sleeping i cant even cry if i wanted to i hope no one else here feels like this or lack thereof empty just empty,3.0
23346,recovering from an abusive relationship i was in an abusive relationship for  years or something like that when i was in that relationship i think i got depressed and started to cut myself and even tough my partner abused me i still had someone to talk to and the feeling of depression  felt easier but now when the relationship has finally ended i feel so alone and i still have depression and anxiety lasting from the relationship and now i have felt so odd and i feel like cutting myself again and the feeling of depression does not seem to go away i went to a therapist for a while but i just stopped going there for some reason it felt like we were not advancing anywhere though when i was at therapy the therapist made a test directional test which showed that i had some level of depression looking for help ,3.0
23347,caitibeth hahhaa failblog ,0.0
23348,upset i missed provodkative bday bash tonight was weak    womp womp,2.0
23349,darn it have a cold ,2.0
23350,at work ,2.0
23351,gotta be at church by ten for camera meeting  finally d lol,0.0
23352,im still bed dredding my daywork im also suppose  sing evry sunmy church i wanna sing  ,2.0
23353,the bow wow pics can come later i dont know how many bow wow followers i got but sorry  not yet gotta let the day  soak in,2.0
23354,put a pic of me  no bad comments bout it,0.0
23355,debilitating anxiety,2.0
23356,i am bored cant wait to get to nashville in  days but is really sad one of my best friends wont be there dd ,2.0
23357,rt dubsteppenwolf well this is unbelievably sad and fucked up and totally unsurprising ,2.0
23358,all was golden when the day met the night  ,0.0
23359,is sad that school is almost over ,2.0
23360,hanging with my cousin marissa yay ,0.0
23361,seamusshay great news  by the way there is a little doc on the way as well ,0.0
23362,rt brentconner im                  so     fucking                       uglyand its                        💞💖💘💕,1.0
23363,last minute school shop in a couple of minutes follow me guys ,0.0
23364,hielmy its thainese ,0.0
23365,watching crime watch ,0.0
23366,i dont know ive really wanted to kill myself lately i have no motivation to live anymore im a  year old f in a relationship with a  with a four year old he was cool until we moved into together today he was ignoring his daughter while she was talking to herself repeating herself saying daddy and he was  watching tik tok so i told him and he pulled my hair twicei have little to no support from him or from my family he used to care a lot before we moved in together now he just cares if it affects him my university has gone online i make all the good and clean up and feel so unappreciated and trapped,3.0
23367,caroliinablu can u believe my five of my closest homegirls the only bitches i b w   out here have bf im always left out ,2.0
23368,peterdtoit aww man i am not getting that game here in the usa ,2.0
23369,life feels like a dream its the weirdest feeling its as if my life is a movie and im watching it or like a hyper realistic dream i often find myself wishing i could wake up even though im fully conscious i dont know how else to describe it but i fucking hate it everything feels so animated and meaningless im convinced this life is nothing but some sick joke or experiment i cant even begin to understand why but nothing else makes sense eitherive been at low for so long it isnt my low anymore its my lifestyle,3.0
23370,is listening to lenka and finishing the final touches on her room ,0.0
23371,should really stop looking at work emails at home ,2.0
23372,lilyroseallen  neighbourseverybody needs good neighbours  ,0.0
23373,crisisfoster good band ,0.0
23374,its your tuesday night habit see you all at thecollective reserve gastro tavern for good music good company and ,0.0
23375,its official this little piggy has provisionally accepted macs offer and is now  poorer but altogether happy with her decision ,0.0
23376,why do i feel so alone yet i dont want to be around anyone why,3.0
23377,hello everyone god is good w my queen b we are going to grandmas house im happy cause god is working miracles in my life ,0.0
23378,i cant trust in nobody even if that person its me im feeling always alone and miserable  the only person in my family my sister i have trusted in her she just played with my trust and feelings  but i know its my fault because i trusted in her and that was my fucking mistake  but i said ok i have my friends  the only really two friends i have are my cyber friends but they long ago do not connect and im feeling hopeless and without love  weeks ago a cute and gorgeous girl said me im her crush and i was feeling so happy i was feeling with hope  but yea that shit its over she said me a week ago she not feeling prepared for a relationship and that its okay now we are friends but that really hurt me i can understand still but the pain was horrible im feeling im a fucking boring person  i want friends but just i dont know i cant sometimes some people said me im a good person but not a good friend lol  thank you,3.0
23379,im so bored  i dont feel today i dont know why,2.0
23380,says bye peeps its boring na eh  ,0.0
23381,has anyone tried lamotrigin my doctor want to prescribe lamitrigine to me  im not diagnosed with bipolar disorder just depression she told be there should be no major side effects but im sceptic ive been on different antidepressants for years and theyve done nothing but giving me side effects and im not in the mood for another go at some fruitless medicine does any of you have some experience with side effects and do you think its worth it ,3.0
23382,on my way to work ,2.0
23383,rt imasiandoll she been feelin this way tho even on tour after she mad that dumb ass respond on tmz i had a talk with her about what she,1.0
23384,ill miss you   ,2.0
23385,rt projectbuddy were bringing back our music and mental health campaign which will highlight how music can help both artists and fans,0.0
23386,jessiebaylin i wish wakarusa was still in lawrence but i understand why they moved sucks that its far away now though   have fun,2.0
23387,choochy because its about  of the price of the london one even i dont stay in the london ones ,0.0
23388,willowtreeling omg thats horrible ,2.0
23389,rt nvyoome me forcing my friends to listen to sad indie music when theyre in the car with me ,1.0
23390,vannydel too  far away ,2.0
23391,stuff like this just isnt supposed to happen rest in peace to all that died this weekend ,2.0
23392,ayvii whats tht suppose to meannn queens dont breed no grime wrong borough  sorry,2.0
23393,squarespace i bet i never win beacuse im in england and im always posting when your in bed so you ignore meis that it ,2.0
23394,thedevilslair im sorry youre still sick  im better but thats because my uncle is an othorhinolaryngologist,2.0
23395,enroute to the airport  to get me to my gig in chicago tonight at cro bar ,0.0
23396,i want to read but my head and eyes hurt ,2.0
23397,sprinkleton  any time  i love your blog it never fails to put a smile on my face,0.0
23398,amigos ya empezó la hora sad ,2.0
23399,evenangels no i feel horrible because i know im constantly bugging with my music and tech probs  ,2.0
23400,jk i dont think im going to ocean park today ,2.0
23401,i do nothing ,2.0
23402,rt ladyhaja i wrote this on mental illness amp theconversation around mentalhealth about the complexities and contradictions of being il,2.0
23403,gamehounds hey edie did you get to see batman or just cause   cheers,0.0
23404,squints  ok fine good,0.0
23405,venkatag thanks dude  it indeed took a very long time  hrs  mins  and this was my worst run ,2.0
23406,was going to order to advertising decals for my car damn car is the wrong size and shape for just about everything dont want stickers ,2.0
23407,writingvixen go ahead  i dont mind and thank you ,0.0
23408,sandiiishere omg sandy  ur the best  haha got cha   quotdany i love u quot omggg ,0.0
23409,weekendchica  u see my follow friday for u last night,0.0
23410,billy the dog of the universe  e aspirador de pó  amor sem fronteiras ,2.0
23411, i am really excited about dress code ,0.0
23412,wonders why she cares so much when its obvious you just dont care at all ,2.0
23413,keatselliott i hope you got inside by the way i might be giving you a phone call tomorrow ,0.0
23414,i fucking hate it but i think im ready to admit i have depression yup title pretty much sums it up it does suck though really learning about what depression is the hard way as no one told me that it hits as hard and as ruthlessly as it does howd i know slipping grades inability to dofocus on things overthinking way too much about my future focusing on the guys thatll never like me back of course amongst other things so yeah i have depression and it sucks would love to go in more depth about it but its  now and i need at least some sleep so i can properly put up the facade of being happy to my peers later today goodnight everyone hugs ,3.0
23415,why cant i play music on my multiply home page  ,2.0
23416,aplusk its fishy ,0.0
23417,s  wants to seee george or at least talk to him properly ,2.0
23418,stephen the minion blur gets his bounce on to this chilli hit   ♫ ,0.0
23419,dear anitta we have not forgotten you ,0.0
23420,luvhappy how could you mention bill hicks while im sitting here listeneing to the worlds saddest song now i need a nurse  ,2.0
23421,ill hug u 😢,0.0
23422,realdonaldtrump i dont understand why people have these issues ive seen you in the news for ages and never had httpstcomtrxbfhabx,0.0
23423,i love u yall some snacksxoxoxo,3.0
23424,this is going to be the longest day ever  and its my least favorite day of the week fml,2.0
23425,the dates of the hockey games were confused theyre next week ,2.0
23426,rt hanleia i bought another story and young ashs extreme touch aversion makes me really sad ,2.0
23427,truenarnianxx  im sorry goes to laurens mommy acts like a tiger rawr yeeah im not ok,2.0
23428,nice to know jasmine essential oil increases serotonin production better than anti anxiety medication known ,0.0
23429,were going to post the last episode for today just for today well post one tomorrow  chelsea and rachel,0.0
23430,sometimes i wonder sometimes i wonder whats the point of life if i never have have fun all i do is sit at home and play video games i partially blame my mom and my social awkwardness well as a kid i would never be allowed to go anywhere and every time i did she would always freak out thats when i resorted to the internet to make connections with people now that i have started becoming more social i still never really get invited to any think i just am there during school and thats it its as if every person i talk to is just one meaning less conversation after the other i dont really have any close friends some of my best friends are from completely different countries like brazil well to wrap it up i just had a mental break down tonight about every thing that i do just being meaningless all the time ive put into trying to make a relation ship or friendship work it always ends with it being another meaning less waste of time im starting to question whats the point of living if i dont enjoy my life,3.0
23431,had a good weekend with my boyfriend went go kart racing and i won haha but now wont see him for another  weeks ,2.0
23432,mai lại đi h�c r  quyết tâm hnay ngủ sớm mai sẽ dậy sớm tập thể dục ,0.0
23433,ohhmygroceries i mean their  yr anniversary was last week and they spent it apart  did you hear about the spanking controversy lol,2.0
23434,you may royally piss me off sometimes and frustrate the living shit out of me but i still want to cry every time you have to leave  me  ,2.0
23435,rogersworthe you are a bad man   quotdear if i died would you marry againquot,0.0
23436,is at a loss for what to do eclairs are half done due to having no cream photoshop has expired movies are boring internet is boring ,2.0
23437,its  and kai is still sleeping  jd is going to fix the boat and borrow a sea doo for the day and i love saturdays,0.0
23438,im defeated hey guys im at all time low found out all my best friends talk shit behind my back all the time literally right after i hit a skunk so my car smells like ass im in the military so ive been with these guys for  years plus and still have to work with them for  more years at a minimum recently ive had no luck with my love life and honestly im at a point right now where nobody wants to be around me seems like everyone in my life eventually leaves or ends up talking shit on me my phone is dry nobody wants to talk to me nobody takes me seriously anymore i feel defeated  im depressed for the first time in my life,3.0
23439,goodnight ,0.0
23440,just realized that im not actually funnier at  am it just feels like im funnier ,2.0
23441, lol tea please  you,0.0
23442,i am home after a great day in nyc now spending time with my girl and unwinding before going to bed tired but brain is still turning ,0.0
23443,annvertel yes thank you for reminding me that opportunity includes risk  been playing way too safe lately  will keep you posted,0.0
23444,rt rebornblessing mandi bisa jadi sarana meditasi dan menenangkan diri saat air menyentuh tiap inci kulit rasakan saja ia mengalir v,1.0
23445,are sudden severe mood swings normal i go from being able to function and act really well no one would guess what goes on in my head to rude and not wanting to see any humans i go from depressed to extremely depressed and i just want to hide in the darkits affecting my work too i nearly got fired yesterday because when i switch im not able to even interact with customersis this normal or is it something more its been affecting me for too long and i wish there was a way out,3.0
23446,rt beyondbrokendep my only relief is to sleep when im sleeping im not sad im not angry im not scared im not hurting im not lo,2.0
23447,marcimallow tsinelalalovin kailangan daw balikan  sige the more the manyer  well have to get a bigger bangka lol,0.0
23448,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
23449,i feel like a cheat ,2.0
23450,hi  my name is m�gane amp im french i speak english not very well but i try ,0.0
23451,its back for so long i was doing well i was on the right medication regimen exercising daily and had a relatively healthy thought life ive suffered since i was  and am  now i didnt find a regimen that worked for me until i was  turns out my depression is a strain more like bipolar depression that i inherited from my bipolar mother its not the type of depression where you feel sad or useless its the type where youre nearly catatonic because you are so hollow i didnt feel alive enough to cry so i would just lie on the floor and curl up in internal agony i took scalding hot showers just to try to feel something but didnt i would sob for  and  hours at a time when i felt well enough no hospital would take me because i wasnt suicidal but all it took was a clever enough psychiatrist to realize that ssris werent going to help me with my type of depression and i switched to medications that were more geared towards bipolar depression i was like a new man i have been living a healthy life for so long now but these past few weeks have seen the return of the worst parts of my illness and i am terrifiedmy chest hurts i breathe but i dont feel as if i have enough oxygen my whole body feels raw my nerves aching as if i had just been pulled from a car crash i fixate on everything and everyone who has hurt me in the past all at once i just moved to a new city and dont know anyone i feel so alone and have no one to hear an encouraging word from i just had to post to hear someone say something i cant fall asleep because all i can do is sob what hope do i have if i have to live with this specter for the rest of my days i cant go back to where i wasi finally finished my latest poem before i started sobbing tonight and i thought id share it i hope it may give voice not only to my pain but to others as wellaweepingshall i stay up aweepingon this an ever pleasant eveningtears they come aseepingall but a few without meaningto take breath without breathingto let it go still yet needinghere beside the hearth and firecold is near fierce direfraught beneath the mireto smile and be found a liareach one and all desirethrown to flame upon the pyreevening my inquiry now they dieto even ask i knew was to lienight i alone i can testifyyou come to me to steal to denyto rob me of hope held highnow destitute coerced i complyit is dark now the fire laid lowseeds of doubt for dreams to sowdoubt abounds for new days glowhappy day promises again evenings blowto sleep comes yet slow fear to bestownow though hell to know i go to shadowand in the morn and in my forgettingi hope for just one days forgivingfor evening comes now abounding and aleapingand a fool i pray to not be found again aweeping,3.0
23452,out on the boat  beautiful day to bad we have to head in so i can get ready for work ,2.0
23453,how does one come to terms with being depressed i dont mean it the personal way but going to a therapist talking to your family or friendsfriends etcive been feeling really empty numb sometimes suicidal for at least  years and just cant get myself to do anything about iti know i cant be happy or enjoy life like this but im more scared of coming out with such a weakness and want people to leave me alone,3.0
23454,just ask i will try and keep this short and sweet i know the feeling i know the feelings associated with that feeling that none of us can really put into words along with it comes frustration anxiety sorrow loneliness inadequacy all of our problems come from that black hole in our chest we cant really understandi know i still have it and will most likely have it again at some point in my life today though it doesnt affect me as much today i feel more good than bad its not simple and its not easy today i asked someone to hang out they said yes they followed through we swam for  minutes till we were out of breath then went out for drinks and dinner we talked and had some laughs i came home feeling fulfilled and more like myself take the leap there is nothing stoping you but yourself,3.0
23455,thisismyiq hey q ,0.0
23456,played a concert this afternoon my allergy meds made my mouth all dry ,2.0
23457,im totally doing nothing on a friday night  blahhhh,2.0
23458,i have the fighting mentality to do anything but why do any of you have this you do your best and get up from bed and go to work or whatever but at the end of the you realize why the fuck am i doing this in the first place no matter what you do still it seems like running on a treadmill all the work still not goiang anywhere,3.0
23459,hotboih dont do it its not worth the insanity trust me being a business major sucks obviously  tear,2.0
23460,with jordan going to pick up jeremy then off to eau claire for the rehersal dinner ,0.0
23461,webgains an international affiliate network amp dont forget it ,0.0
23462,workin on the megamix wish me luck ,0.0
23463,i just realized kae doesnt have a last name ,2.0
23464,depression or laziness i have an intense pressure to succeed as well as other burdens i have no control over whenever i sit down to study i am instantly drained and dissociate thinking about how im going to fail anyway and that nothing really matters i absolutely hate studying now because it just reminds me of what people expect from me and how ill never be who i want because i have no motivationis this depression somehow keeping me from doing anything useful or am i just being a lazy prick who doesnt want to deal with hard things in life,3.0
23465,scratch that my lil sis got me in a bad mood she killed my waking up to a good nap ,2.0
23466,can a complete no lifer have a girlfriend i never go to parties nowhere when i go outside i just go for a walk by myself im just home and at work i have like  friends that i talk to via messenger thats pretty much my life  years old how can any girl be interested in a person like this ,3.0
23467,has to do french papers allllllllllll day today bad times indeed ,2.0
23468,rheasings can i join  enjoy ur trip,0.0
23469,i miss the mommy ,2.0
23470,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
23471,how do you get over when you get upset ive been going through what seems like cycles of good days with lots of progress made and other days where it feels like im just not cutting it and upset over my reasonable assumptions of where i want to be at the time how do others keep their minds in check when they get a little out of hand i hate feeling like im useless and despite the fact that i logically am doing fine,3.0
23472,not going to greek festival thats what im doing ,2.0
23473,allysonfelix congrats allyson  way to dig down deep and fight to the end ,0.0
23474,ashleylamothe welcome to twitterbe careful you may become addicted ,0.0
23475,aledsavedlatin i like the sound of the  one  haha,0.0
23476,ahh taco salad talk about bomb ass dinner i really wanna see my tia estella for some reason ,2.0
23477,my birthday in one week  yay  morning sunshine lol,0.0
23478,need to sleep now up again in a couple of hours ,2.0
23479,xxgambiitxx o  big boobsz and chicken wingsz  wtf was yu thinkin  yu makin me jealous  ,2.0
23480,katieface well jeez youre nice arent you ,0.0
23481,earthquakes in alaska usually mean tsunamis here should i walk the dog further up the mtn i cant swim  at least we are bayside,2.0
23482,theysfurtado my sources say no ,2.0
23483,having a really productive day in the sweatshop but missed out on the sunshine ,2.0
23484,i just admitted myself into the er due to suicidal thoughts i dont know why i cant stop feeling this way  i cant stop my mind i hate iti dont know what is going to happen but at least im here and being watchedi hope anyone else who feels like i do admits themselves into the er as well dont take your life,3.0
23485,tweets from coffin sure is borin in these coffins think ill go back to sleep now really missin hoytfortenberry ,2.0
23486,feelin soooo sleepy and i gettin my hair done tomarrow so im turnin in now night ,0.0
23487,just noticed that my picture is only appearing in the background sorry tweetsbut i am happy that you are able to see me somehow ,0.0
23488,extremeezine as long as its not that quotacidquot stuff ,0.0
23489,redheadlori pcjbfan finally broke down and got tix yesterdayso ill be seein yas in tampa fo sho cant wait til august ,0.0
23490,ah crap i think i got done for speeding this morning  and maybe for running a red light on friday night when i was sleepy whoops,2.0
23491,why is everywhere i go so dark i dont want to feel so numb any longer everywhere i go i see nothing but the dark end my mind dives to that point where when i see something i cant stop thinking about it when i do see something that makes me think my hand always begins to drift and its not to grab my thigh or anythingwhat do i do i cant stop thinking about how much better it would be just to go to sleep and not wake up i see darkness everywhere i goso why not see it everywhere and all the time i just feel so numbsodistant,3.0
23492,depression pit im trying to find motivation to clean out my depression pit i just cant do it i come into the room and just switch off i dont know what  to do,3.0
23493,im sad now i lost a follower  that makes me cry btw that i had fun with color guard to night it was fun but miss the senoirs ,0.0
23494,sdtips were exhausted but shes acting  again so i guess that means shes better  her bangs will cover her lil scar,0.0
23495,taking song requests for the next hour  get them in  ,0.0
23496,natazzz hurt and sad ,2.0
23497, i wasn´t able to say any sentence that makes sence ,2.0
23498,simoneelkeles wishing i had money to hire a trainereven a gym membership  but it would have to be at school  im never home ,2.0
23499,ohcheeyong  i wan to go home,2.0
23500,im gunna finish  only got like  pages left i think and then tidy my room my treat for doing  can be compiling my birthday list ,0.0
23501,briliantfreak thats excellent advice  thanks ,0.0
23502,surviving getting hit by a train so im kinda scared to write this but fuck it so  months ago i was at a train station i ran up the tracks from the platform for what seemed long enough i found something to hide behind by the tracks and i waited some time later i heard the horn of the train and just as it approached what i was hiding behind i walked out in front of it sometimes i think i remember it but it seems so distant the memories because i remember screaming but i was told i wasnt screaming i was telling everyone well paramedics and cops that i was fine i wasnt fine id broke  bones including shattering my spine my foot had been cut clean off id smashed four front teeth out id split open my head i split open my mouth to my nose id bleeding on my brain they thought i was paralysed i was in a coma on life support and then a few weeks later i woke up unable to move anything but my eyes for weeks unable to speak only look and scream silently but i cried i cried so much anyway  later ive a prosthetic leg but im walking im back smiling out with friends going cinema going drinking eating fabulous food at restaurants walking by the beachbut i cant shake this feeling that i did it wrong im stupid why didnt i lie on the tracks why did i think id be dead straight on impact i should have gone down the tracks more i should have done this that my life is better but its not much better than it was when i stood on them tracks and everyone says ive come so far and maybe i have physically but mentally mentally i will never be the samedepression suicide selfharm mentalhealth,3.0
23503,is it sad that i waited for three hours for him to come online because he didnt ,2.0
23504,superstarinc okkkk well weew supposed  be friends amp i would have known that if u hollad at a sister from time  time smh ,0.0
23505,diablocody spencer who ,0.0
23506,  you dont care about sjw horseshit but youre a far left liberal btw people with ,0.0
23507,smallesttwine i think you left out quotnapquot after quotmimosasquot and before quotlesson planningquot ,0.0
23508, years old broke as fuck living with parents and cant find a job anyone care to share their current situation 😞,3.0
23509,plutofactory you missed our  live stream tonight pat ,2.0
23510,loggin off im so sad i love him so much,1.0
23511,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
23512,how are others with depression able to push through i just feel like a failure seeing other people battle the same thing as me while accomplishing  as me while i barely get by i am trying and i want to try harder but i cant stop crying which is causing headaches and i cant focus and no affirmations seem to be helping i dont even know why i have depression i mean yeah chemical imbalance but surely other people have it worse than i do my problems are so  world that i dont even think i need therapy even though my psychiatrist wants me to do dbt my dad cannot afford the extended young adult tricare insurance plan so i have to stay a fulltime college student from now on ive dropped a couple of courses before but im not that behind but this semester has barely started and im already beyond stressed he also wants to retire from teaching soon and do some traveling and work on his spanish he has been patient and is trying to motivate me but he does want me to graduate soon so that he can do those things he also wants to make sure i can stand on my own two feet since he wont be around forever he has learned some about depression and anxiety but he doesnt want me to see those as barriers to life he wants me to push through and overcome them because everyone has problems and many have found ways to overcomework around them he is worried about me and very stressedbut going back to what i said in the first paragraph its so so hard and the accommodations that would help me the most arent offered by the office of disabilities and asking for them from the dean would probably make me look so selfish it also wouldnt be fair to students who were able to push through and didnt ask for those sorts of accommodations despite having similar issues should i just off myself i dont know how to do so and im scared of dying honestly but im also such a waste of space,3.0
23513,jmoorez that is adorable  i am so happy for you,0.0
23514,today i was at stc and i noticed that i was standing next to a very pretty girl i said quotheyquot and she said quothiquotnothing else happened ,2.0
23515,ugh i went outside without my glasses now i feel this terrible headache comin ,2.0
23516,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
23517,weight gain on antidepressants hey guysso i take quetiapin seroquel  a day and trittco trazodone  an evening for about  months now and recognized a weight gain about  pounds i always were quite skinny so it feels a significant amount for medoes anyone know if the weight gain is temporary or i will gain weight as long as i take the pills until im  pounds lol ,3.0
23518,  my pc doesnt even meet the minimum requirements for left  dead ,2.0
23519,every time i think i have gotten over my depression it comes back my depression started in  grade because i was bullied and ridiculed due to my adhd i felt bad because i didnt have any real friends i finally got over that though when i was in high school high school was a big change and i finally made a few friends then in some form or another my depression comes back i dont know why but it did i start having those deep existentialist conversations like what is the meaning of life and what is happiness without sadness cut to now late junior year something clicked and i finally have a general idea of what the meaning of life is then back again sitting in my bed all the time feeling like shit  wanting to be left alone etc why the fuck does this keep happening why can i not get out of this mess and live like a normal fucking person,3.0
23520,i now have my id ,0.0
23521,ughh hangover has reached the  hour its not going away ,2.0
23522,fua re sad estuve hoy,2.0
23523,happy moms day to everyone in the us ,0.0
23524,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
23525,roughtradeshops the link doesnt work  it comes up with a passwordprotected admin page,2.0
23526,mayeeahi same here im having a hard time with  right now ,2.0
23527,thinks im going to plan a pool party tomorrow  hit me up if you want to go,0.0
23528,ahacom good morning guyswas a great performans on tv  without sunglasses  with perfekt hair from morten  you are the best ,0.0
23529,memphistbyrd why so sad ,2.0
23530,just saw o brother where art thou againwhat a fun movie ,0.0
23531,ive just run out of dreamtime tea ,2.0
23532,antidepressants today my psych changed my medication from nexito to fludac and he asked me to take it in the morning while i used to take nexito at night does anyone know what could be the reason for that will i feel drowsy the whole day ,3.0
23533, i think of it as a necessary evil ,0.0
23534,studyingrevising while on effexorvenlafaxine im currently a student and have important exams coming up in a few months i need to get ready forrecently  i was prescribed effexorvenlafaxine after my previous ssris didnt  work and was wondering whether anybody who took them before had any difficulties or sideeffects that caused them to not be able to  concentrate or memorise information as tended to be the case with me and my ssris,3.0
23535,ughh i hate mondays  day at work today omg not looking forward to that ,2.0
23536,i love you  ,0.0
23537, but still a virgin and it is killing me just a rant i guess im obsessed with experiencing sex nsfw posts used to be fun but these days they are just making me sad i feel sex is so intimate act between two people and i dont think i will ever find a person to be intimate with i wish i had gutsconfidence to ask a random girl on a date and i dont know if anyone will like me but it is hard to control the thoughts and not feel jealous when i look at couples out there guess my life ends like this lol,3.0
23538, morning sunshine   i am good right now but i am sending my wife back to england today so tonight will be the pits ,2.0
23539, i am up ,0.0
23540,miss my boy ,2.0
23541,goglenncoco nopes  id rather you were gay with me p,0.0
23542,jayburleson sorry for complaining  i have just been burned too many times,2.0
23543,anyone know any comedy shows that show depression or anxiety badly or in a negative way im doing research and need to find a comedy show that portrays depression or anxiety in a negative way to contrast it to a comedy show that portrays it good anyone know any comedies that portray depression or anxiety negatively,3.0
23544,crumbling again i have been taking meds for depression for past  years a lot of things has happened since then but still i feel like slowly its all crumbling away  fuck up at uni after  semesters of fuck up at uni i managed to pass a semester and then this sem i am struggling again i have deferred exam in  days for which i am totally not prepared for  i didnt sit for final semester exam and made a medical certificate  with the doctor whom i have been seeing for past two years so there is deferred exam in  week of feb next semester starts from march  told my families about my depression after two year and now even they are worried about me overstressing so now idk i dont tell them that its starting to get bad again troubles at work  shift  a week some of it is my fault me taking leave to go back to my country during semester break and some of the issue is manager is pissed with me leaving and now he is mentioning that it was a short notice for leave and worst is that some times i was late for couple of shifts but i have stayed back at work to compensate the time ik its my fault on this one its early morning shift  and some days i do sleep on time and able to get up on time  and go to work and some days i am unable to sleep on time and stay up late till  and over sleep for work some time i do just sleep on couch just sit on my study table and listen to songs when its too late to sleep when that happens back of my mind its like leave this odd time job and find something during the day or in other places but again i dont have any thing else beside this job so its hard to leave the best thing has happened as well during last year got to meet with my now partner last year of jan had to go through so many huddles for it as well i feel like i have to hold myself together for the sake of myself and for my partner as well but if hurts to see i am starting to crumble again  i am tearing up as i write this now i used to visit this sub daily in  and now just venting here again idk how to take control of my life again before the situation gets worst i know what should be done to take it back but i am unable to complete them coz i am struggling with keep it together  ,3.0
23545,jeffleach what happened about glastonbury thats rubbish news not that im going so i was never going to see you anyway  hugs,2.0
23546,after a couple of months of working out i finally met my goal weight ,0.0
23547,just waiting for carlos to get homeso we can eat ,0.0
23548,what a good feeling  my first day of study was hugely effective got everything planned done and did not procrastinate at all ,0.0
23549,coolqueeda he said no ,2.0
23550, well darn  let me know when the next tweetup is id love to come ,0.0
23551,had sex with a hooker yesterday and i am fucking ashamed not married or have a girlfriend but i had sex with a hooker while drunk and i feel like shit just need to vent ,3.0
23552,still got headache after  days ,2.0
23553,surgery is tomorrow ,2.0
23554,rt mcks if anyone was wondering whats happening in south florida right now thousands of carcasses are washing up on beaches daily sad,0.0
23555,skinnermike me neither also whats a nut allergy   ,0.0
23556,getting ready for another thunderstorm  guess ill do some more homework  ,2.0
23557,may june bring me many blessings job money stability emotional mental amp physical health friendships and opportunities 😇🙏🏼,1.0
23558,i  am  so  fucking  sad ,2.0
23559,just booked a sunday ticket to krabi beautiful beach british babe here i come life is good  lip,0.0
23560,one more hour  today is so boring,0.0
23561,what up whats good whats hapnin ,0.0
23562, that is chinese beef and peppersmoms recipe i grew up on that dish  mom makes it the best though love moms,0.0
23563,im so scared because i know my seasonal depression is affecting how i think but i cant stop thinking about killing myself i got on zoloft last summer and for the first time in my life i felt like myself everything was so easy and i just felt so at peace my doctor said it was clear it was the drug for me and it was working but then the weather changed to winter and now its like im not taking meds at all i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself ill be alone forever because im crippled by my years of trauma during my formative years and im f so that probably means ill get taken advantage of and raped i probably wont be able to support myself alone because of that too or ill have to have a really shitty living situation for the rest of my life my writing fucking sucks and i have no drive to create stories anymore even though i miss it i feel ugly as fuck and i cant stop starving myself i feel unworthy of love and i know nothing will ever get better and the planet is dying anyway and theres so much hatred everywhere and i want  to  die  everything about me is ruined and awful i cant stop thinking about  the many pills we have in the cabinet everything fucking pisses me off and i wish i had my exacto blades so i could fucking cut myselfim a worthless pos and nothing will ever change that nothing will ever get better i am graduating college next semester and i was honestly deluded enough to think i could ever be a professor or a writer i tried the dedicating your life to something you love thing and guess what im about to get rejected im just waiting for the graduate school rejections to come in so it can be cemented once and for all that im not meant to be heretbh the only thing really keeping me from kms is because i know my funeral would be absolutely degrading none of my friends would give a fuck enough to show my family would cheap out because they hate me for being a freak and a homo i cant even commit suicide in peace fuck im so sick of feeling this way,3.0
23564,stacyshow thank u msyummy  free coldstone on stacy lol,0.0
23565,maybe i go to the new museum magritte in brussels  or i go to lille france or maybe the two ,0.0
23566,jonasbrothers  oh just come to canada already ,2.0
23567,good morning u all  no rain  no rain no rain  i can get out and about ,0.0
23568,romeo save me they try to tell me how to feel this love is difficult but is real  hahaaa,0.0
23569,aliciarosner ill tell you laaater ,0.0
23570,my heart broke into pieces ,2.0
23571,work makes me tired and forgetful ,2.0
23572,done downloading jack ,0.0
23573,so much to saymy life is a mess and im tired of being strong i hate leaving my apartment i dont want anyone to see me but i force myself out of my bedroom to walk around for a couple hours the next town over thats my way of compromising with myself and feeling like im involved in the world while being an unemployed college graduate with no energy or willpower to find or hold down a job family has been kinda distant they dont know how to deal with me or my issues so i keep things brief and say little as possible they know about the shit i dealt with while in school and understand that im not normal but i think theyre also sick of me being an unemployed schmuck living off my boyfriends income he insists on helping me while i figure things out so im not super worried about that i avoid acquaintances and past workplaces local retail like the plague because of the inevitable dreaded hey how are you what are you doing now from former coworkers and i cant muster up the strength to make up a lie avoid the question or just flatout say nothing my class reunion skipping that too no money or bragging rights so theres no point i guess im better at typing than speaking words at least i can write somewhat well i never could quite make friends easily as a kid and im used to being ignored used abused and very conditionally liked this cold pit i feel in my chest when im feeling really sad is something im so familiar with i remember feeling it as young as  or  i cant remember most of my past and didnt realize exactly how much was wrong with my upbringing until recently like ill remember that something happened but not actually remember it you know ive always been told im a good listener and lots of people have opened up to me and that makes me happy when i open up im met with heartfelt but terrible attempts at making me feel better apathetic and impersonal apologies im told to consider how much worse other people have it that the past is the past and that i have no reason to feel the way i do thats a common one from family i dont really drink much and when i do its only one or two beers or wine occasionally something with liquor ive felt more levelheaded with weed and im a medical patient my mood is overall better but no substance can erase an illness just help you cope with it and thats what it does for me and i want nothing more i want to give therapy a try but im so emotional whenever i think about trying it because it scares me facing my trauma is scary and i know i need to do it but its so hard to get that strength the strength to heal and get my life back on track how does one find willpower to have a career when you have so little passion or feeling for anything and can barely focus on daily tasks let alone something important and necessary like a career retail has beaten me down too minimum wage with terrible hours verbal abuse and gaslighting isnt my scene anymore i know what to do i think its just actually doing it i guessidk thanks for reading,3.0
23574,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
23575,mybutterflydmz thanks so much ,0.0
23576,think im goin in my garden an enjoy the sun  this cheers everyone up,0.0
23577,imwrite re imwriteaddicted to help books  amazon  reincarnation of the devil lol enter the retarded brain sighhh,2.0
23578,tried so hard not to depression tweet over the last few weeks i really need therapy httpstcodgbimxgjoz,2.0
23579,im gonna make it to heaven light up the sky like a flame fame oh im gonna live forever baby remember my name ,0.0
23580,is sitting at work eating banana bread and watching the office for two hours ,0.0
23581,oprah i cant wait to see that movie ,0.0
23582,vibrating razors are no bueno esp for the pits i shanked em good ,2.0
23583,had a lovely weekend with the boyfriend ,0.0
23584,stellarciarra wasnt it sad  was the  good,2.0
23585,i get that you guys are sad and are just sending him condolences we all are but respect their privacy dont tren ,1.0
23586,thatgirljenn yeah fun woo hoo ,0.0
23587,tnglive  thanks   thought it would be something else cause its so personal ,0.0
23588,cars in the shop cell is in the bfs car and tomorrow its going to rain  oh yeah and i still need a job crap  oh well,0.0
23589,beachang hi bea tweet me ,0.0
23590,rt jschaulsohn realdonaldtrump  the english speaking madurosad but true,0.0
23591,loic theyre all out on interviews ,0.0
23592,rt kaycolee you attract the energies you put out ,2.0
23593, i dont know itll let me on twitter but not any of the links to the site my internet is sooooo weird ,2.0
23594,jerkasaurous i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
23595,rachmurrayx  were do you  work,2.0
23596,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
23597,luckytrinket hahah not this time  im gonna upload a video of me singing sometime soon,0.0
23598,ryushidude and now everybody knows our master plan ,2.0
23599,man i love my new curve and runs is about  come on im in heaven but  mrow hell work  to  ,2.0
23600,losing hope im  years old and it genuinely feels like i have nothing to live for i couldnt feel any more alone  of my time is spent obsessing over my perceived shortcomings and i dont see any reason to believe ill have a fulfilling adult life i cant even fantasize about killing myself because all i can think of is my little brother finding out that im not there anymore ive always opperated under the assumption in some far off future things would be better for me but im losing hope,3.0
23601, yep i got it and yes is does ,0.0
23602,being lonely and feeling alone so i have never done this before i have looked and read other peoples posts but ive never felt so lonely in all of my life then i do today so i moved to germany about  years ago from the united states for work at first it was very nice because some of my family was still hear because they were military but after they left ive had such a hard time making friends because germans are so reserved on top of that im still trying to learn the language i did have a girlfriend for a while but just found out she had been cheating on me am just so lost if any of you are looking for a friend or in germany around stuttgart please let me know thanks for listening,3.0
23603,sethsbitch save sally before its too late  ,2.0
23604,getting up for work at the buttcrack of dawn sucks almost as much as falling asleep at  im such an old lady ,2.0
23605,ohmeabby u deserved my compliment ,0.0
23606,mzbrittanyluvz sundays are always like that cam show tonight i would give so much to be there ugh lucky mofos ,2.0
23607,aww i was all excited about joining gym but they closed early for renovations amp theyre not open again till monday sad face ,2.0
23608,off to the pool  °f,0.0
23609,pschamp hola schamp can you get my credit card from the bar  promise to buy you a beer in return,0.0
23610,mapmap cheers for the ff mate ,0.0
23611,today just sucks first joey moved to panama and most importantly jordan leaves tonight dont want him to ,2.0
23612,i asked my man if he accepts members to his stress club he told me depends on your stress talk tand me baby wh ,2.0
23613,i love wormy ,0.0
23614,mandiebear so you are home from work is it day or night there predicting night ,0.0
23615,naree haha good job with getting a booking for the  for  love your work  ,0.0
23616,back from fab girly lunch at mariposa i would go into food coma but now i have to work  work should be illegal on birthdays,2.0
23617,this is where were getting married   ,0.0
23618,geez what a way to say quotgood morningquot  sorry twits im trying to get happy ,2.0
23619,dont know what to do anymore i dont know how much more i can take feeling this way it always comes and goes in waves but that dark cloud has been stuck over me for a while nowi got furloughed from my job im stuck at home with my overbearing family and when i tried explaining to my mother that i wanted to try teletherapy and continue it after the quarantine she said that i was just being lazy by not going in to see a therapist directly once a week which ive explained to her is because i dont have any time and the  other times that ive tried therapy its been in person and ive hated it so i want to try something different we continued our discussionargument and i said to her that she should be happy im even still here and making an effort because ive been having so many bad thoughts lately she then started calling me manipulative for saying that even though its how i truly feel and to come to her when i want to talk normally because shes done trying to approach me now im alone in my room with no support at all and im really scared of what im going to do i dont think i did anything wrong but apparently everything i do is wrong,3.0
23620, omgggggggggg ur with shania omg omgtell her and brandon i say hi  love them so jealous ,2.0
23621,i need advice so im just gonna tell you my storyive felt extremely depressed for the past year and a half or so ever since my dad died to a heart condition in october of  flash forward to now and im still like i am but i feel its worse for one my family is in very bad shape in terms of finances especially due to the fact that my mother and father had a baby before he died so its becoming difficult to pay for anything we need like food clothes etc on the family side of things most of us are just divided fights have broken out causing some of us to just not show up to family gatherings anymore it doesnt really help that i wasnt exactly close to any of them in the first place i just feel like im caught in the middle of it all and i feel hopeless because i have absolutely no clue how to help nor do i think i canon the personal side i just have this deep severe hatred for myself now not only does feeling like this leave me tired and i just have no drive to do anything anymore even the things i normally enjoy but it gets really bad sometimes because i sometimes think that i wanna kill myself and that the world would be better off without me that the pain would finally end on top of all that im constantly bullied online and in real life for enjoying the things that i do or i just get bullied in general i also struggle to make friends because i feel extremely insecure most of the kids at my school are super popular and im just this socially anxious insecure kid in the corner people tell me to have confidence and people will like me but it doesnt work when i try to be confident and tell jokes and stuff it leads to people calling me weird laughing insultingly or just being silent even the friends i do have do this sometimes my best friend in the whole world he has always had my back and never once insults me or anything he just constantly tries to help me out moved away and i never get to see him anymoreim super sorry for the long explanation i just really wanna feel better but i keep losing hope by the minute i feel like there is zero chance for me to get better the only chance i have in my eyes is for this to all get progressively worsethank you for reading if you did,3.0
23622,hellojodie i bought a magic diet potion hopefully that will help  my diet has started no good food again ever  ,2.0
23623,i didnt really like archer at first but im starting to like him now still dont think they should make a  season of robin hood though ,2.0
23624,my mom said i cant read right now ,2.0
23625, oki should check it out one day hehe  awwyaaythank you soo much            ♥   hows you today,0.0
23626,kellyalltimelow yeah ian did alex said it in his blog ,2.0
23627,came home from the beach to a drained checking account  internet scammers have wicked bad karma coming at them,2.0
23628,stevenwashuta  i have no idea who left the comment but i like it ,0.0
23629,natashapia awww no thats no good ,2.0
23630,my friends just had an intervention for me im sitting in my car crying and typing this not because it went bad  they still want to be my friend  but because it needed to happen at all because im so weak that my mental illness beats me every day and turns me into someone i dont want to be  someone im notthey have a separate group chat without me just for this when one sees me oneonone and i overload them with all my shit they update the others and ask for advice on how to deal with it because they feel overwhelmed they just divulged this to me today they have been planning for a week to bring this up for me i can share no secrets anymore they will only get broadcast to the group behind my back because they cant deal with my problems individually they told me today that this will be the case moving forward and has been for the last little while part of me feels betrayed like my right to privacy has been stripped away from me part of me is completely understanding and is just sad because im the kind of person that necessitated these drastic mesaureswe want to be your friends but we are done being your therapistsim not posting this to trash my friends im not looking for people to take my side and say that what they did was wrong i get what they did but it makes me feel so small knowing it had to happen i feel lesser than i feel beat down i feel like gum on a shoe i dont want to be this person anymore,3.0
23631,harryrhamlin lovely now ill have nightmares ,2.0
23632,i cant sleep if dave isnt in bed with me  i wish his ass would hurry up and get home,2.0
23633,fihowie i cant see it ,2.0
23634,i am ready to take a shower so hot in caborca ,2.0
23635,my bid to go to lafayette coney island for latenight munchies was overridden   guess ill go to bed hungry but without guilt,2.0
23636, you should stay home amp study ull appreciate the a later   besides well follow them to wherever they are next time lol,0.0
23637,thank you rain for destroying the lilies that were so beautiful yesterday  good thing i took pics,2.0
23638,going to dept ,2.0
23639,zyleeth oooh  awesome we must exchange friend codes ,0.0
23640,psmy username nikki comes from my middle name for those of you who know me and are confused  ,0.0
23641,hopeless forever ive been jobless for a year now and i dont know what else to do ive been networking and applying to places nonstop with no type of luck i do have a physical disability but its not bad enough where i cant work i want to work and id rather suffer while working than suffer with a small measly check and not work working is the best thing that draws my shitty depression away i got somewhere in  but had to quit due to transportation issues ever since then ive been going down a deep spiral of depression and anxietyive done everything from networking to going to job fairs and hiring events and still nothing all because i dont have the shitty experience for any jobs i apply to even ones that clearly say no experience neededim so fucking stressed out to the point that i just lie about being ok when i never am i get more stress piled on from my mom side of family for not working as if they dont know i literally go out nearly every other day to job fairs and hiring event and never get calls back due to my schedule and its enough to make me suicidal if i told the rest of them i had depression itd make things worse theyre the types that think oh youre so happy and cheerful all the time you cant possibly be depression yeah its because i hide all my goddamn problems behind a blinding wall of fucking sunshine im not even an extroverti dont know the last time ive never been stressed out since graduating from high school i kinda just accepted the fact i will more than likely die youngi hate living in this shitty jobless corrupt stateim so tired ,3.0
23642,ilaam we have to write wendi on monday saying were doing the happy dance lol cause ill be doing it for sure ,0.0
23643,rt softwarmground so you mean to fucking tell me that meeting taylor didnt cure my depressionwhat the fuck has all of this fighting,2.0
23644,anyone else feeling like heshe was born in the wrong country and in the wrong year soim almost  yo and im feeling like that since i was  only things im doing at home are watching youtube and playing old strategy gameslike warcraft and age of empires and they dont even really have communities in my countryromanianot to mention my  population town,3.0
23645,gorgeous sunny day stuck inside working ,2.0
23646,driving to work listening to deacon blue on the radio but where has the sun gone ,2.0
23647,red sox are making a mess so what else is new ,2.0
23648,i missed updating in school ,2.0
23649,i think i might have swine ,2.0
23650,these are all pretty much no brainers ha see what i did there ,0.0
23651,dougiemcfly poor percy ,2.0
23652,tfw being a furry gives u the closest thing uve felt to depression😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂,2.0
23653,gmorning its monday ,2.0
23654,finished work tomorrow off ,0.0
23655,him and i are arguing about silly stuff haha ,0.0
23656,cuzstacysays seems to be a lot of drama at the moment  how r u enjoying driving around everywhere,2.0
23657,iamquddus yesssssss thank u for that its gettin my day started right too ,0.0
23658,i feel like a shitty friend i have a best friend who is really caring after many bad friendships ive found my gold she is the only one who knows about how i feel and so i tell her everythinglately ive been reading posts of the friends of depressed people and theyre most negative those friends feel like its become a burden and they start to feel bad about themselvesin order to prevent it i stopped sharing much with her and asked her what does she think about me talking to her about all my problems she said that i can continue doing it since she is the only one i can tell it to and she doesnt want me to keep everything inbut i am going to stop talking with her about those problems i have since ive realized it is very hard to hear that someone you care about is breaking down and no matter what you do you cant help her also what i used to say are things that are hard to hear mentally she is not a psychologist and she doesnt need to hear it lately ive been feeling that i give up a lot of things to keep others happy i know that its going to be more hard for me from now on but shes worth it and she should be the one hearing it in the first place so i wrote this post to finally say goodbye to my late night show as we called it,3.0
23659,marycurly ive come to the conclusion that age is nothing but a number so harry potter zac efron kiefer rpatz are all fair game ,0.0
23660,study hall is boringgg  and im pretty sure i had spanish homework oh well,2.0
23661,vierlynsherylia  nya udah serem menjijikan lg ,2.0
23662, have fun  i will hope  ya ,0.0
23663,shirtfight thanks for the follow ,0.0
23664,rt thegabbieshow actual conversation i had at the gym todayme should i weigh myselffriend depends do you feel like being sad,1.0
23665,ghost whisperer  ghost whisperer  ,0.0
23666,i think my boyfriend might have depression now this is an online relationship but were meeting as soon as the quarantine thing is overbut we talk almost every day and he hardly goes out he used to go to college but as its switched to online schooling he just sits at home even before lock down he rarely went out his sleeping patterns are all messed up as he usually doesnt sleep at night and then oversleeps hes had a rough childhood but for the most part is happy except when drunk he used to overly drink but recently hes stopped i understand the sleeping and the not going out are signs of depression and he also stopped doing hobbies that he liked but as ive said hes usually happy should i  be concerned or are these just unhealthy habits,3.0
23667,thats enough tweets for the morning back to my math and the dread horowitz equation which has yet to crack ,2.0
23668, hot and sweaty ,2.0
23669,is pretty upset that daniel motlop is going to miss the next  weeks ,2.0
23670,motherboard up com still down cpu fried maybe ,2.0
23671,i feel like im living a life im not supposed to okay this may seem whiny which it probably is and a lo g rant but i gotta get this off my chest i have a nice life a wonderful wife and son but thats where it it ends my parents are controlling and crazy my babies momma is useless and insane and always causes some problems my job is dead end and i dont even give a damn about it everyone stresses me out to the point my hair is turning white in some places and recedingim  btw so my self esteem feels nonexistent im not happy in my own skin and i just feel i should have left my hometown amd moved far away and keep to myself but since i had a kid ive been strapped down in a lame town i hate  and i wish i could disappear from everyone i know cut off everything and everyone and social apps like facebook etc first world problems im sure but i cant shake the feeling i shouldnt be here,3.0
23672,spanish test tomorrow  kill me,2.0
23673,beelzebub maybe ,0.0
23674,thats me back at work after a week off i want to be in the sunshine not in the office ,2.0
23675,talk to me im a sad  year old girl and im pretty sure im going crazy man im pretty much nice for the most part im just really lost right now and dont know what to do,3.0
23676,scorpios will lead you to depression and thats the tea,1.0
23677,team celebration of successes the last months at a local pation in cabbagetown toronto ,0.0
23678,barbiebabs gt them like quothetookmytoyawayquot which i have a few of coz luke often looks like that ,0.0
23679,i totally relate to this ,1.0
23680,at cactus sitting by the fire with some great company  feeling hungover but still a trooper,0.0
23681,risarm do you like the rain too  i love rainstorms and fresh wind  nature is amazing ,0.0
23682,valentines is coming up the want to die factor has risen i feel so extremely alone im the only one in my immediate friend group who has no plans to top it off im stuck at home because i dont know how to drive which also contributes to me not having a job i have nobody to share my time with things to do or even a distraction,3.0
23683,lyrikalwun aww i love you too girl i miss you ,0.0
23684,has to get up at  tomorrow  dies,2.0
23685,i love being nice and people using me ha get the fuck out or cheer me up ,2.0
23686,im killing myself im fucking doing it i have suffered from severe depression for every single one of my fourteen hard years of life i cant take it anymore one year ago my mother yelled at me after i shit in the living room after this she took away my xbox for an entire half of a full year once i finally got my xbox back i logged on minecraft to see my entire peter griffen build destroyed what the fuck i cant fucking take it anymore life is too cruel and i will never be happy again everything i create is destroyed in front of my eyes and i have been psychologically tortured my my minecrafter gang for years tonight is the night i put a bullet in my head,3.0
23687,my hands still tingle from mowing the lawn ,2.0
23688,rt janasenaraj watch a man was saved by railway protection force rpf personnel amp other passengers after he attempted to commit suicid,0.0
23689,rainy days is non stop stay home for a week now haiz ,0.0
23690,winks sweetkyree ,0.0
23691,nickytvf lucky its soo cool you guys get to travel everywhere thatd be so fun  so what ya guys doin till show time,0.0
23692,goodnight if you havent heard this in a while let me say this everything will be okay i promise i am proud of you each and every one of you you have a reason a purpose all the pain the suffering or anything has you goin through some bad shit im telling you everything is temporary baby you got this you the shit look at yourself youve been through so much shit in the past and yet your still stand on your own two feet you can do i know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing through every dark night theres a bright day after that so no matter how hard it gets stick your chest out keep your head up and handle it much love for all of you have good and safe night yall 🖤,3.0
23693,to sharis to pick up t then outttt ,0.0
23694,kayyx i miss yo face ,2.0
23695,hope i aced that midterm  econ final tomorrow,2.0
23696,yeah im just a teenage dirtbag baby listen to iron maiden baby with me baha wheatus ,0.0
23697,is bound for tn early tomorrow  just wish it was under better circumstances    but i will enjoy seeing old friends  ,2.0
23698,i wanna buy rolling stone magazine but they dont seem to sell it in my local whsmith anymore ,2.0
23699,mcflyharry kdkdkd você  im missing you come back here,2.0
23700, good afternoon sorry youre at work ,2.0
23701,barkingdogshoes i hear ya i made my own wouldnt be able to drag myself out of the house without it  have a great day,0.0
23702,robertacavalli how cold it was outsideme and other people were waiting outside for keri in the cold and yuh went rite in the warm car ,2.0
23703,is studying for my first college test  yay smart me boo for having to be on blood pressure meds again ,2.0
23704,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
23705,i think im depressed literally had enough with everything around me i have nothing to complain about in my life i work a job with decent pay slightly stressful at times roof over my head a fair amount of savings i eat well and live life day by day but past couple days ive felt so down not physically but mentally and emotionally i feel angry sad and frustrated at everything i cant find any trigger point or reason for it im a grown man but i feel like crying and screaming i am so confused i feel distant from everyone i know i just wanna drive as far as possible to the most remote place i can find and just sit in silence ive never felt like this before and ive been through some really bad times im confused,3.0
23706,im really struggling hello everyonei feel like i should maybe post here again because i am struggling a lot lately im having a really hard time convincing myself to do anything anymore im struggling with my classes at university again its not even that i dont understand whats going on in them but i just cant push through the effort to do anything i just feel like im wasting my familys money and their time i feel like im always just a waste of time things were getting better for a few months but this series of episodes has just been taking what little will i have left i just dont want to hurt my boyfriend or my parents or my dog but i feel like every second im alive i just leech from themim so tired i dont know what to do every option i can think of will just hurt the people i care aboutim sorry for the novel and the vauge language i just really need to vent,3.0
23707,teamevers heey ive got a team evers myspace if you want to join  wwwmyspacecomteammattevers  rhian xxx,0.0
23708,attention had to drop off the alkaline trio show tonight in new haven ct  toads placesorry to all who planned on coming to see us ,2.0
23709,off to school no new divide ,2.0
23710,mjlindsay ohh ok anywayswhats ur favorite song of the jonas brothers mines sosparanoidlove bug and burnin up ,0.0
23711,my back is killinggg me ,2.0
23712,kirstiemallsopp wonderful thing about insomnia is laughing loud to your fabulously funny exchanges with indiaknight thank you girls ,0.0
23713,watching benjamin button again  good movie ,0.0
23714,drinks on a patio with old friends  perfect friday afternoon  ,0.0
23715, even more bored ,2.0
23716,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
23717,just gettin over a loss of my sweet little puppy ,2.0
23718,fwstayala hello fellow fort worthian ,0.0
23719,shower whos coming ,0.0
23720,who else wakes up everyday doing the same exact routine im  yrs old still leaving with my family badly want to move out already i just hang out with my main two friends here and there but otherwise im at home doing nothing it feel so hopeless  ,3.0
23721,this storm is keeping me up im scared ,2.0
23722,ebassman i wish i could come to it but i don not have the   ,2.0
23723,lucylumcfly haha yessss i am  and i guess you are x,0.0
23724,kaiterpoo why are people so icky and why do they have to lie about stuff  i need a hug,2.0
23725,bigonion my first  i never really needed a smartphone  im pretty excited,0.0
23726,quotvery very busy so i cannot update much i read all of your messages though and thank you very  yes it is mequotaaaaaaaaa love,0.0
23727,the joker w fried hairrrr   what a way  wake up hahawaking upp time  get ready for my nieces baptism  yayy mila a l,0.0
23728,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
23729,one of the hardest life lessons ive ever had to learn the monsters they warn you about the ones they tell you to stay away from theyre not the ones under your bed theyre not even the ones threatening you or bullying you those are forthright those are realthe real monsters are the ones you were never prepared for the ones you welcome with open arms the ones you sleep with the ones you never see coming ,3.0
23730,mom wont let me get haircut today ,2.0
23731,todraw no cause hey are leaving for vacations ,2.0
23732,science finals todayy last day of school tomorrow ,0.0
23733,i feel like i dont fit in with the age group of this fandom anymoreit makes me so sadi dont have any friends on here,0.0
23734,kriswood sorry about that ,2.0
23735,probably not unique but no idea what to do ill try to keep this short a discussion with my wife recently brought me to the conclusion that i might have been ignoring signs of depression for some time nowshe explained that she liked drunk me though i rarely am inebriated i do have a beer or two a few days a week and she noticed a pattern where she was mad at me the day following she realized her irritation stemmed from me being gone or in my head when im not under that influence no matter how slight we have a good time when ive relaxed after a beer and shes pissed that i cant be as i dont know present normallyshes not wrong im admittedly a bit cerebral and purposefully avoid personal engagement in order to prevent any emotional disruptions apparently when i drink even a little that wall drops im not aware this is happening she does though and i believe her my daughter has made similar observationsanyway i feel like a complete ass and really dumb for not picking up on this pattern and even dumber for not having any idea how to address itobviously i cant just keep my bac above zero for the rest of my life im also loath to medicate though arguably im doing this already but ill consider it if it improves my relationship with my wifeshe deserves fun me all the time im devastated that ive let this go on and want badly to fix ithow,3.0
23736,cursmidgeon now that is a combination ,0.0
23737,rt  i need to be at peace with myself 🤯 stress been getting the best of me,1.0
23738,spent like an hour on mybrute trying out making different characters i made  leveled them up to  still no wolf or good weapon ,2.0
23739,cheekygene goes with the calling ive heard ,2.0
23740,cnt believe im sick ,2.0
23741,motherpusss ignore kirby it did that when i made a sad face ,2.0
23742,that didnt really make n e sense at all im hungry   need food lt   lol,2.0
23743,railwayromance we all cant be as weird as u  u look nice today by the way,0.0
23744,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
23745,i awaketh from my nap major headach ,2.0
23746,on our way home and my cd player is not working ,2.0
23747,my fingers are burning and have another blister but i can play three new cash songs so it was worth it ,0.0
23748,hello im a  year old freshman and ive been trapped in my mind lately almost a year ago i was diagnosed with bipolar ive lived with my great grandparents for most of my life i was taken to the er by my mom and her boyfriend around december of  and they sent me to inpatient everything was great for what it was and they put my on zyprexa aka olanzapine after a few months around march of  they told me i was fine and discharged me okay so things were getting better i decided to switch to online schooling because i was so far behind in school which was the worst decision of my life after awhile i stopped doing my work and the only reason im in high school is because they couldnt hold back a person in middle school for their first year at this school skip forward to july  i had to stop seeing my therapist because my insurance wouldnt cover it i cant go to the er because my insurance wont cover it i stopped taking my meds because of all of the side effects ive been missing school lately and every time i decide to not go to school my grandma yells at me telling me how worthless i am how im nowhere in life how shes going to kick me out of the house etc yesterday i decided to not go to school due to staying up for  hours and hallucinating same exact thing happened she told me how i affect her life in so many negative ways how she has to go to some place important and how im wasting her time after about  minutes of this repetitive bullshit she asks me why im not going to school i say you dont understand the things that i have to go through so she says like what as if nothing happened in this past year at that point i got up off my bed and was ready to beat the shit out of her and i probably would of if she didnt leave my room i dont know what to do the only thing keeping me alive is music can anybody give me some advice,3.0
23749,wtf ppl lets move my belly is empty ,2.0
23750,anyone wants join me maple   ,0.0
23751,suchaprincess and i wasnt invited ,2.0
23752,im always procrastinating and wasting time on internet instead of studying fuck my life why the fuck am i doing this later panicking and sad for not studying i talk with random strangers or scroll for memes or youtube i do all this dumshit instead of utilizing my time productively wish i could study now for my exams,3.0
23753,youngq you wont be in dc  i havent slept yet hotels arent home im flying out in four hours too safe flight ,2.0
23754, thank you for the ff ,0.0
23755,cryswinchester daww cryssie  stress no good yknow i currently have strange cravings for crunchynuts and nutrigrain xd,2.0
23756,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
23757,lost my own nickname again  just filed a ticket,2.0
23758,naomier you ladies r maaad fly and u killed it when u came to memphis im a dncer too any suggestions casting calls openings ,0.0
23759,saw realbillbailey  hes still got it  always a pleasure to see,0.0
23760,bgt i feel a bit sad for susan boyle now ,2.0
23761,extremeannette i suggest   been with them for  yrs and love them  very good service and good prices ,0.0
23762,idk if i need help or not first time posting here and i dont know how to make a post here with the correct format but i just thought since i cant tell anyone else why not tell reddit lately ive been feeling down and sad and like im not worth it but honestly ive realized that no matter how hard you fall theres always a chance to get back up and if u can get up its easier to start feeling better about yourself idk where this went or if it made sense but thanks for reading ig,3.0
23763,irocnikes awwww  its ok ull pass next timee  when are u gonna take it again,2.0
23764,kitanaash but i can pretend it is like yall do  haha,0.0
23765,omg just got home from work  im super tired ,2.0
23766,im new on twitterhi everybody suggestions for me ,0.0
23767,also malik had some real mental issues i wish they would take mental health serious  he is not lazy hes depressed lastchanceu,1.0
23768,getting ready for bed but im not tired ,2.0
23769,goin the gym  cyclin class before a funfilled fantastic day ,0.0
23770,okaaaaaaaay try youre hardest cause i need it  haha,2.0
23771,    wahhhhhhh,2.0
23772,sad hours  ,2.0
23773,getting ready to go to the pool ,0.0
23774,burger for lunch   ,0.0
23775, i miss you ,2.0
23776,enjoying a presentation about the birthhotel its actually pretty cool ,0.0
23777,i wish i was good at anything useful the only things ive ever found enjoyment or moderate success in are  useless skills that have gotten me nowhere while i waste my life doing shittier work thatll never amount to anything conducive to a comfortable life,3.0
23778,no news from persiankiwi for  hours  very worried and fear something bad has happened hard to focus on actually working ,2.0
23779,today was a very relaxed day for a monday ,0.0
23780,sega id dm the phrases if you were following me ,2.0
23781,therealwilj aww ,2.0
23782,uploaded a video on youtube  x,0.0
23783, a wedding reception in santa rosa damn i see some fine females ,0.0
23784,davidarchie  want to see quotupquot too i work at a theater that has it in  so i am going to go see it tonight for free it looks so good ,0.0
23785,waking up to him im newish but ive been lurking this is a celebration post ive  been struggling with depression for almost  yearsi hate waking up in the morning and having to start another day thats gonna be the same as all the other days i livedbut these last couple months ive had my boyfriend  to wake up to we dont live together but i love it when he sends sweet good morning messages and he tells me he loves me the voice messages are the best hearing his voice first thing in the morning really motivates me to get up and get going because i wanna make something of my life and make him proudhe makes me wanna love myself more and he makes me wanna feel beautiful im so in love with him,3.0
23786,its why youll rarely see people talking or writing about depression from inside of an occurrence you lose all signal,2.0
23787,rt shaykhazhar if someone commits suicide in your community the last thing you should be discussing is whether or not this person will e,1.0
23788,everything is just amazing ,0.0
23789,dylanwins well you are my tour boyfriend ,0.0
23790,photo late post  project  june   part  the perks of being a registration assistant at ,2.0
23791,ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop screaming into the phone ,2.0
23792,i hate downtime lol ,2.0
23793,shanedawson  sorry to hear that,2.0
23794,📹 naturallynaturaal nicegirlscomelast arethafakelin this cured my depression this is beautiful im ,1.0
23795,retrorewind i will never stop following you daveyou got the best jams around some of the stuff you play i hadnt heard in years ,0.0
23796,just joined twitter ,0.0
23797,says an hrap ng examsssssss  httpplurkcompvgkan,2.0
23798,lululuvsjk yup some definite road tripping this summer for the nkotbi cannot wait its going to be awesome ,0.0
23799,acidicice lol can you say owns own biz so unfortunately not ,0.0
23800,mm goodnight going to play rock band  til its time to watch snl with justin timberlake ,0.0
23801,sleeptilnoon yikes go watch the bird attack random people  thatll make it better ,0.0
23802,nawww grace and will are fighting ,2.0
23803,ohhsnapitsale lmao  its all good  no but foreal good luck on it  amp bye bye tummy that i love so much ,2.0
23804,rt laneyrodg when they can make u laugh validate you and care about your mental health httpstcohmqakqixeg,1.0
23805,maximsphotos  ok  lets do it lets exchange visas ,0.0
23806,the uva baseball game was so intense last nightbut i stayed up late to watch them lose ,2.0
23807,combustiblesong shrugs i just do ,2.0
23808,mechaganon yes yes yes i dont think ill make your party this weekendsurprise visit from my cousingreeeat ,2.0
23809,is disappointed hindi lumabas si cristine sa banana split kanina  ,2.0
23810,iamthecommodore say hi karla or whatever i dont care ,2.0
23811,brodsters on the tuuubeee ,0.0
23812,lady gagas new paparrazi videofucking insane so so good shes a genius ,0.0
23813,nattaalie ughhh i know ,2.0
23814,i dont talk about it much tho but i felt the need to tweet it you know what im trying to say in so many words  yeah thats it ,2.0
23815,i want to get my belly button pierced but it will hurt like a sob ,2.0
23816,uwuhappyhours tbh idk but its sad now he lost both of his grandparents ,2.0
23817,juliemoore morning and another great one too ,0.0
23818,never written anything before i dont even know what this would be classed as i know it has lots of flaws and mistakes but feedback appreciated   dear diarytoday i awake again in the same room my captor placed me my date of initial abduction is not something i can be certain of however my approximations indicate it has been almost  years now hope is deteriorating the first response i received was over  years ago and i have had many different recipients respond since yet still no luck this dome of darkness i have been subdued within appears to be completely impenetrable despite multiple attempts and many peoples best efforts to help not even a crack has been placed on the walls surrounding me this bleak emotionless lonely place i find myself located has become so familiar to me i am starting to believe that this is my home now and will be where i must live out the entirety of my life the daily torture is too much to withstand and i am now understanding the tag on the only item in here with me the paper tag attached to the knife that reads your ticket to the light escape is essential before this day ends and there is only one way out the blade that once confused me and i could not understand the reason behind its use now provides so much clarity as i finally accept this place of which i am enslaved my mind it provides the only exit out of this inconceivable agony of which i can endure no more,3.0
23819,i wish i could pause my life i would love it if there was some way where i could pause my life and resume when im ready to live again which is probably never tbh,3.0
23820,bukaspalad oh my latin  exciting  cant wait to listen to that ,0.0
23821,not ending it out of politeness i feel generally ok most days but only when interacting with others or living out escapist fantasies and scenarios in my head however anytime i have a moment to just think and cant daydream my thoughts always lean towards the suicidal end of things but the one thing the only thing that really keeps me here is that i imagine that it would just be rude to my friends and family if i did act on those thoughts i dread the day when i have no family left or just become so estranged from people that me being polite and not wanting to inconvenience anyone no longer holds sway over me sorry if this is a weird post just needed to get it off my chest ,3.0
23822,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
23823,shaundiviney i am soooooooo buying it ,0.0
23824,hoping writing out my current thoughts will help myself im stuck what do i want to doi feel so lost wtfgaryvee is yelling at me on youtubehow does he still have a voicewhat do i want to doyea i want to performi want to be a creative i dont want a i dont want to work for someonei dont want to submit a resume f that not doing iti want my work to be my resumei lost my passionwhat was my passionim insecurehow do i lose that insecuritywork the f outstop taking the easy route of mcdonalds and milagro tequila you want to do stand up start writingyou want to make video content pick up the f camera do i actualy believe what im writing or is this just what i think garyvee would say to metaking off the caps lock nowim f miserable really i am not happyive had every opportunity handed me ive had to struggle zero in life now im miserablewhy dont i do what i want to do why is it difficult for me to find the motivation that im looking fori want to work hard i like working hard so why the f dont iim scared and insecure why im fat as fim  not so young anymore im miserable when at work the people there blow i said i need to stop with the tequila but this note is fueled by that very source yo im f unhappy am i depressed or am i a f piece of s to think that im depressed while others have actual f depressioni dont feel happy maybe im in between f it i think im depressed do i take medicine for that do i see someone is this helping my depression to write it all outi wanted to be a writer in college whyd i stopmy professor saw potential in me he wrote for home improvement im a white male who comes from money yet im f miserable visiting home brings me so much anxiety i hate talking about myself there is nothing going on in my life that im proud of oh so what are you doing now for worki wear a f s zombie mask and stick my hand out of a cage  years of schooling and this is what i end up doing im a piece of f sthey say only put money into crypto that you can afford to lose i literally have all my money in crypto im a f idiot im so conflicted with everything i do bo burnhams left brain right brain is my everyday f struggle i dont want to be like this anymore i want to find my passioni want to be driven i want to be motivatedbut reallyi want to be happywhat was the point of this ,3.0
23825,st johns wort interactions so im taking st johns wort for seasonal depression anyone know if it interacts with alcohol or with melatonin,3.0
23826,raintenshi  do you have some aloe vera cream always very helpful heals so well,2.0
23827,ting tings shit  x,2.0
23828,abbigale is gone to school today lets see how long she can stay with her bad arm my poor girl ,2.0
23829,rt heckisthis girlfriend on a scale of  how much do u love meboyfriend onegirlfriend omg how could yougirlfr,2.0
23830,angelapanagacos gaaah thats a lot but at least you have a job ,0.0
23831,itxiitx good morning ,0.0
23832,stilllookingfor that money tree or job opening to get rid of all this stress and debt  ,2.0
23833,want to play infamous but cant its too late ,2.0
23834,going to bed i know shocking idaho city made me sleepylol all post some pics i took tomorrow night twitterland ,0.0
23835,im sick of my life im at the point where the only thing i can rely on is the pain its always there and is the only thing thatll never leave me the pain is there when everyone else isnt the pain is the only thing i have left at this point im probably gonna delete this later anyway because no one wants to hear about my problems anyway ,3.0
23836,geekrebel congrats on  the newborn farting sneezing snuffling etc doesnt last long  cute while it does ,0.0
23837,much more of this and im going to start slamming my head on the kitchen counter ,2.0
23838,suicide fantasies have started again sorry for posting on here but my logic is good old fashioned anonymity i suppose the title says it all i guess around  years ago i ended up in crisis with pnd i worked past it started putting my life back together i had a baby nearly  months ago mostly pnd hasnt returned however ive become quite melancholic over the last couple of months lately ive caught myself fantasizing doing the deed at first it threw me off but i corrected my thoughts however the last few weeks ive been allowing myslef to delve further into these thoughts i dont even think i feel that depressed yes down but with my home situation falling apart and this lockdown i can imagine that this is amplifying my feelings i dont want to tell anyone how i feel this isnt their problem it wasnt anyones problem last time but still they had to deal with me i still take my meds religiously i know doctors are way too busy for me to justify speaking them when  im not seriously depressed im just slipping into the old safety net of destructive thoughts mostly i just want to sleep and stop overthinking everything my mind is my own worst enemy,3.0
23839,writes citations for the school newspaper ,0.0
23840,just when i thought i was getting better  maybe all it did was prolong my denial that i wasnt someone who was easily expendablei always tell people i missed them but who would miss me ,3.0
23841,im lonely  keep me company  female chicago  illinois,2.0
23842,kayladowns thank you hope it goes well ,0.0
23843,i keep getting depressed because i look creepy so heres the thing ive always had depression but teh thing that really gets me is the fact that everyone including myself goes out of their way to talk about how ugly and creepy looking i amnormally i try to shrug it off but one time i was with my brother and my nephew whos really young and my brother went off for a bit to go take care of something so im playing with my nephew we were at a water park and we were having a good time next thing i know a security guard comes up to me and starts asking me questions turns out some woman called him over and said that some strange guy was playing with some other guys kid and she reported me because i looked creepymy brother came back and explained to the security guard that i was just playing with my nephew but i was really upset the security guard actually went over to the woman who reported me ad told me i was the boys uncle and she tried to apologize but i just ignored her and went home i was just so sad and hurt that someone would take me playing with my nephew as someone who was a creeperi keep in shape i try to be as friendly as possible but people still judge me because of my face to the point where im afraid to have a relationship im afraid of making friends all i do is go to work go to the gym and do what i want to do by myself ill take vacations alone but i just feel upset that everyone sees me as being unapproachable,3.0
23844,doesnt know what to wear ,2.0
23845,victorsizemore i knowweve had the crappiest may weather for the past three weeks im starting to forget what sun looks like ,2.0
23846,with   good girls go bad cobra starship has been in my head all day,0.0
23847,i miss you so much ,2.0
23848,missmadalena err i think theyre like  bucks a ticket cause its  too too expensive ,2.0
23849,everyone in my household including the dog is depressed and anxious the reason behind this post i guess is to see if anyone relates me my younger sibling and my dog grew up in a single mother household that has always lacked being social and emotional we never hug and the only time we really communicate is when something we all like is on tv i left home and joined the military because i felt the environment to be toxic i am now home again for good and i want things to change but i also developed anxiety depression and some form of ptsd anytime someone feels upset i immediately think its my fault consequently my mother feels like its her fault for letting me join the military in the first place my little sister is solemn and shy she never talks about anything and my dog finds comfort laying in her bed all day its so strange seeing everyone in such a terrible mood amp whenever something is suggested we never agree they all make it seem like theyre fine and im just overreacting i go to therapy and my therapist suggests i just go live my own life but i dont want to leave them again anyone ever been in this predicament and have a success story,3.0
23850,im not feeling well  ,2.0
23851,a poem i wrote for my depressed friend beautiful youthere is an overwhelming energy that surrounds your soul words actions or deeds cannot make you wholefor this energy is peculiar it comes and goes the black dog is always uninvited when it sits on your throneit casts chaos in your thoughts disturbance in your peace and feelings of unworthiness it takes the crumbs of happiness you gathered just to prove its selfrighteousnessand the lies it whispers in your ears it made you believe that you are not enough for anyone and a burden to those at your feethow do you drown darkness that knows how to swim how do you control your demons that fill you to the brimfighting fire with fire only causes a bigger flame when it grows and grows it cant be tamed you are what i want your illness i accept for this does not shape you into the person that you truly reflectallow me to understand the thoughts you possess dont run away when the black dog protestsbecause to make peace with what you hate is to love it through so let me love your darkness the same way i love the beautiful you,3.0
23852,waiting is not fun ,2.0
23853,i go to camp and come back losing my party girl essence  hehe,2.0
23854,still watching prison break  season dos,0.0
23855,lilyramirez you guys are making me highly upset by talking about this stuff knowing i cant go for obvious reasons ,2.0
23856,gmail is very ropey for me today ,2.0
23857,nothing planned for today  nothing  sooo happy  ,0.0
23858,reaching sentosa in  hrs ,2.0
23859,elliebites if only i were in melbourne  that would be so rad to do,2.0
23860,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
23861,feeling like im running out of medication options and maybe life just sucks now im so exhausted reddit im  have had depression since i was a young child third grade or so ive also had anxiety literally as long as i can remember i was first put on antidepressants when i was  to help manage my panic attacks since then ive been on so many medications and havent found one thats been much help at all ive either had ungodly side effects or built up a tolerance to the medication and it eventually lost its edge ive been on zoloft paxil prozac celexa wellbutrin buspar and lexapro lexapro is my most recent having been on it two years and being on the  maximum dosage for over three months now it has recently occurred to me that it just isnt working any more if theres any other medications out there anyone would like to recommend please list your suggestions thankfully i have an amazing gp that manages my depression medication but she is getting ready to go on maternity leave and i may be temporarily referred to my clinics psych office for med management and adjustment im afraid they wont be as open to my suggestions and concerns but well see im also in counseling but i am just so afraid that this is just who i am this how life is always going to feel for me and no pill can change that ,3.0
23862,im buying a new macbook pro because im going overseas and if my laptop dies there im fucked but im very sad about ,1.0
23863,blogobeth i think they need you in washington   thanks for your input,0.0
23864, i heard that ,0.0
23865, haha yes thats pretty cool  i still dont get it though and i want my letter nyaaahhh,0.0
23866,cant wait  the wknd  begin staff party the coronas air show  marians  amp jon carter bring it on ,0.0
23867,lost all of my friends to depression i used to have a close group of friends and then i got severe depression and isolated myself for a couple months none of them except  would try to reach out and then eventually everyone gave up on me im trying to pick myself back up and get my life together now i even went to therapy and the loneliness is too much some days i keep going back into isolation im almost done with college and i really feel like im never going to make any long lasting close friendships ever again all i have is my boyfriend and my internet friends that stop me from ending it all,3.0
23868,good morning to all how is everyone im driving for about  hours right now ahhhh haha ,0.0
23869,making homemde potato bread with sweetcorn nd onion yummy ,0.0
23870,somebody slap me im lovesick again ,2.0
23871,what a bad day for ca amp the world sadness injustice amp bannishment nothing will be the same again jay lenos last week is starting ,2.0
23872,tired of not being able to find a song ,2.0
23873,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
23874,lexistargirl i am amazing hahahah thank you couldnt believe it when i saw it it was really sweet of him  yess he does that song is,0.0
23875,and the customer gets your product for free everyones happy ,0.0
23876,watching uve got mail on hboforgot how much i love this movie ,0.0
23877,i need a solution i never thought id see the day where i can confidently say that the only reason why i wont kill myself is because of the impact it would have on my parents and siblingsim a  year old male and ive been depressed for a year or two now i was diagnosed with depression and borderline adhd a little over a month ago but i know that i couldve been diagnosed with depression a long time agoi want to keep it brief because i hate typing long ass posts and messages im overwhelmed with every aspect of my life i was always a pretty decent student but i think im going to fail out of my second college semester i refuse to do any of my assignments because i lack the drive and attention span to get work done and now im in deep shit with it im just now realizing that i was sexually abused by my one and only ex girlfriend who pressured me into losing my virginity to her the same ex also told my entire high school that i physically abused her and told lies about my personality and body and whatnot which has led to the demise of my reputation and countless friendships she now denies all of this ever happening basically im hung up on what she did to me in addition i had a suicide attempt last weekend after an explosive fight with my older brother i nearly jumped out of my bedroom window only to have my father pull me in before i could i havent spoken to my brother since and i have no problem with that because i genuinely do not like himive tried to get into contact with a therapist for months but all the practices in my town suck and dont return phone calls for some reason before the start of the pandemic my life has not changed one bit since this quarantine started my days are all the same i wake up and i do nothing until i fall asleep at night i try to make music but i cant focus long enough to actually do it i work out and exercise but it doesnt change anything i try to talk about my issues but they get downplayed i want to wake up tomorrow and have everything in my life changed for the better so that i can smile from morning until nightthats basically it im a troubled teen who has had serious and false rumors spread about me throughout my adolescence when i was a victim myself im a troubled teen who has adhd and takes everything personally due to serious traumas stemming from childhood im a troubled teen who cant help but feel like his life wont change even if he graduates college and gets a good job the damage is already done and it hurts really bad im tired of feeling oh woah is me im tired of my life i want it to end i need a solution,3.0
23878,i applied for university today since i was around   i have been slowly upgrading my courses for entrance to university i have failed each course i have upgraded like  each i finally passed chemistry with a  passing math with an  and bio with an  im really proud of myself for years its felt like ive made no progress due to my depression its the little things ,3.0
23879,direction on how to get better hello so i fucked up a little while with my wife and its spiraling my depression out of control even more  i come from a pretty heavy background of abuse on multiple levels abandonment and suicidal thoughts we have been together for a while and our relationship has been rocky most likely do to me and my ptsd during the time i had problems with my family the house was a mess i was the only one working at the time which was super stressful and i am sure there were other issues i had at the time so i was pretty irritable and inexcusably snapped at my wife  we got into a fight which has been happening a lot lately i got drunk and somehow thought it would be a good idea to tell her i dont want to live anymore and she can have everything i own  now ive traumatized her and she is upset with me because i cant come up with a plan to get better and is worried that i am going to follow through with thisi dont know what to do and i feel like i keep making it worse because i dont have a plan to get better i have no motivation to even look for things to help myself get better and all my brain wants me to do is ignore it and maybe this nightmare will go away  i have no health insurance and cannot afford therapy  does anyone have any advice on books guides videos anything really that can help get me out of this mindset and want to have a life againthanks for listening,3.0
23880, ive come to the decision u watch twlight on repeat and muc more then me haha ur sick ,0.0
23881,fridays worst day of the week no creativity anmore  traipses to kitchen for getting saved by cpt coffee,2.0
23882,mmm ginseng amp ginger tea with honey ,0.0
23883,im a total looser seriously im the biggest fucking looser ever theres nothing special about me i suck at everything i dont know any sports cant play any instruments cant paint cant draw basically theres nothing good in me i have  accomplishments i have  friends ive never gone to a party never get invited to anything i cant communicate well im such a fucking outcast and i can never fit in i just want to fucking off myself no one would give a shit im the weird kid after all,3.0
23884,whats the first step i dont think ive been truly happy in years i dont really know if this is the right spot but lately i have just had deep feelings of despair and helplessness i cant continue like this i work to stay occupied and on my days off all i want to do is recover on sleep or so i tell myself i just dont want to do anything how can i get help  do i go l my doctor do i talk to a therapist i dont know what to do but i need to take a first step to help myself and dont know where to go,3.0
23885,erotickalittis the party is in my pants and you are invited  you will need to wear your birthday suit though,0.0
23886,rt  good morning have a week without sad things 😊 httpstcozexyzllpdi,2.0
23887,arlonosta one gets the feeling that if she really was a bitch youd shed a tear ,0.0
23888, i was just about to tweet that quotpls dont dent my brand new babyquot i bet youre terrified ,2.0
23889,i agreed to stay on at my engineering job another two weeks my boss is begging me to stay he says hes willing to do a lot to keep me because he know how capable and necessary i am and how integral my efforts have been to how smoothly things have been goingi suppose that would be flattering if i were like a real actual person,3.0
23890,gamefiend id be interested but itll be months before i have the time ,2.0
23891,a question no one can seem to give me a real answer to because there isnt one i always ask people that if i never asked to be born and its not an uncommon idea that life is in general pretty shit even to those without depression so why is it frowned upon that i want to die i just dont understand it i never wanted to be alive life is known to be terrible yet dying is considered bad and wrong why,3.0
23892,who is on ygh i need someone to talk to and i cant text  man ugh,2.0
23893,darrinsden true true but i dont like it when they do themes for safari  beta i dont use it the theme look awfull when i use them ,2.0
23894,excuses excuses haha jk ,0.0
23895,textindent       ,0.0
23896,missxash my weekend is okay i have a break from school so nice  what did you do besides the wedding and satc is so funny,0.0
23897,so tired ,2.0
23898,ready to die at  i cant imagine a future where im not suicidal everything is telling me what i need to do losing my dog was the cherry on top of an already fucked up year especially the past few months i dont know how much longer i can take anymore survival instinct is blinding me from reality i dont want to believe that this is it this is all that life is life is death and im tired of being a witness to such a depressing reality im tired of living a life i know will never get better i dont want to get better or even know what would even make it tolerable anymore i want to pretend this life was a bad dream i want to sleep and never wake up please something anything give me the strength to lull myself please god universe or whatever thats out there please end my existence i dont know why people like me even exist im fucking goddamn tired of staring into the abyss nothing is going to change unless i do something but i dont know what to do besides think of suicide as the answer to all my petty suffering and endless questions,3.0
23899,rt jassaeee youre loyalty dont match mine  the sad part is i thought it did,1.0
23900,i like to have a million of internet amigos yeeeeeeeeeeeeey amigos ,0.0
23901,my internet connection is working again feels great to be back ,0.0
23902,off to my house to clear out the last lot of stuff  hate that someone will be living there on thurs ,2.0
23903, sweet dreams ,0.0
23904,are you the same dont know anymore ,2.0
23905,im just really confused and have a lot of questions im young  and turning  this year for over a year now ive been feeling like shit and ive had suicidal thoughts for an equal amount of time i stoped being happy and thought life was meaningless and i felt empty inside from the help of friends i was finally able to be happy laugh and enjoy things again but my suicidal thoughts still remained though i laugh and genuinely enjoy things i still want to kill myself i dont want to get better and i miss when i was at my lowest a part of me has already decided im going to end it all at one point ive convinced myself that is how i will die every single time i make a mistake it feels like the end of the world life seems so surreal and it feels like im not actually in control of what i do i dont cry i dont really feel that bad anymore to be honest im happy but i still want to die every day everytime i do something out of my comfort zone or when i take my morning shower when i put on my clothes when i go to school when im in school when i get home from school when i play video games when i go to sleep and even when im with the girl i love i feel like everything would be better if i just diedim confused cause i dont know what i feel how can i be happy and still want to die my life is amazing i know that but why do i miss when i was as most depressed i love my friends and family but why do i wanna isolate myself from them why do i feel like nothing is real when i know it is why do i feel like shit about the fact that life is meaningless though i know that it doesnt matter and is in fact not really something negative i know things will get better in the future and i know i could get help and speed up that process but i dont want to why do i feel like killing myself is a better solution than to live a happy lifei dont understand,3.0
23906,rt  bpd is draining and confusingim so fed up of being happy then sad i am so fed up of pushing people away but not wantin,1.0
23907,retrothreadz i love twiggy ,0.0
23908,when there is nothing but crap on tv to watch i can always look forward to watching some face off on my dvr so sad ,1.0
23909,jonasbrothers hi i want to know if theres a way of talking to u during the live webcast  im from chile greetings ,0.0
23910,giving up on the rug thing tonight havent even tried ghostbusters yet  ,2.0
23911,randommissus i let girls go out first too i guess the word the matters more ,2.0
23912,i just got upsetting news about my cat since  or so years back mum phoned and said he stopped eating and drinking ,2.0
23913,aw man i just learned bob bogle of the ventures passed away the other day ,2.0
23914,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
23915, well for the support and stuff you know ,0.0
23916,bridgebldr my job loss allowed me to spend the last  years caring for and enjoying my mom before she passed away a true blessing ,0.0
23917,a bad day a depressive episode an overreaction i dont know anymore first i would like to say im currently diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety and since  i am taking  of lexapro generic so a friend and i had been watching a tv show together and last week we watched the final episode the show itself was dark and emotional and the last episode was especially emotional because it implied that the main characters had died they didnt i felt a bit off afterwards but i just thought it was a normal reaction to finishing a show i likedthe next day i woke up feeling okayish but as the day went on i became more and more upset and distressed i started obsessing over the tv show thinking what if they really died and i couldnt stop fixating on it even though there was proof i was wrong and even though there was positive things to think about that happened in the show i didnt care about them i just focused on everything negative i began to lose interest in things things i liked to do or anything else i didnt want to listen to music i didnt want to play games or watch videos i didnt feel like smiling or laughing i didnt want to eat or drink anything everything felt like too much effort sometimes i would just stare at the wall and cry because i felt so hopeless i didnt want to do anything but lay in bed and agonize and obsess over that stupid tv show my brain just pumping out sad or upsetting what if what if what if questions this lasted for  days i felt so stupid and dumb like why are you this upset over something like this i felt stupid going to the doctor and talking to my therapist about it my therapist suggested that maybe ive had a build up of stress over the past months and the tv show was what triggered it and i asked well if thats the case then why did i just focus and obsess so much on the tv show and nothing else why not on the other things in my life and she didnt know my therapist and mom would say things like well it didnt last that long this time and even on medication youll still have down days and im just confused and frustrated so thats all it is was what i went through just a bad day is that normal i have to go through something like that again i cant watch a damn tv show i like in case something like this happens againit didnt feel like a normal reaction i felt horrible i didnt feel like myself but still i wonder if im just overreacting about this whole thing i hadnt had a bad episode in a long time and i do have a tendency to get obsessed with things that i like maybe it wasnt depression maybe im just a sensitive person maybe this is just something i have to deal with and get used to im just really scared i dont want to go through that again and im scared that theres nothing that can help me or prevent this from happening again,3.0
23918,i hope it doesnt rain tomorrow im going to the zoo ,0.0
23919,im not getting better im not getting better ill never get better my therapist doesnt even care about me what am i saying of course he doesnt he gets paid to deal with my shit not that he does i hardly ever see him hes always busy or something whatever he doesnt help me anyway nothing helps meim just so sick of this it never fucking ends my life is just an endless loop of the same shifty feelings it doesnt get better for me im not going to lie to myselfi hate talking to people about my depression but i hate not talking about it i just feel so isolated i absolutely want to get all of this shit off my chest but i just dont like talking to people im just repeating myselfevery time i talk to someone online they tell me the same thing every time theres someone who cares about you it will get better people love you etc these arent bad statements but they just feeli dont know i dont know what kind of response i want really i just want a friend a real life friend i can talk to so posting this on reddit isnt going to help me i just have no one to talk to about this the suicide prevention lifeline takes forever to talk to you you have to wait in line or something just to talk to someone  im just really lonely and i dont know what to do even when im surrounded by people i feel lonely id probably still feel lonely and depressed if i had all the friends in the world,3.0
23920,wants to go to trash ,2.0
23921,without twitter life is like the seasons with no summer with twitter its like short stack without bradie webb as the drummer ,2.0
23922,great day yesterday  bad day today already a rough start ,2.0
23923,just going  work soon ,2.0
23924,tripdash nope rain in the shire of york as well ,2.0
23925,jordanknight  happy birthday sexi i hope your birthday is all you have asked for and moreenjoy it even tho im not there ,2.0
23926,this morning is going quicker than i expected ,0.0
23927,neethiisaac ha ha will make a mental note of that  it was actually susy who figured it out smart one she is i say ,0.0
23928,rt ahsimlibrarian rewatching please like me which is this incredible australian show about josh thomas coming out to himself dealing w,0.0
23929,i dont want to go back to uni tomorrow and then a night duty  and i wish i could read minds then id know what youre thinking,2.0
23930,im stressed and i dont know why ,2.0
23931,bygodsgrace  i know it isyouve never let that little one out of your sight ,2.0
23932,anxiety anxietyproblems ,1.0
23933,caryskelton if you like to read fly past my blog sometime when you get a second and tell me what you think  wwwtoddspageblogcom ,0.0
23934,tommcfly hey it looks like youll be fine for your south america tour ,0.0
23935,its suppose to be another rainy day   its summer vacation wheres the summer,2.0
23936,oh baby youre just a womanfallinlove love is alive tonight i wanna deeply in love with you for me for you im ju ,0.0
23937,paulfaultner nope had a burger and half a bag of doritos ,0.0
23938,brittanyasnow i hope the whole thing with people not believing you works out dont let others get you down brittany  have a great day,0.0
23939,coolvindy when to meet for ticket im here this weekend on call ,2.0
23940, atl plan fell thru   gettin bacc to work n chillin wit the family ,2.0
23941,up showered had breakfast revised a whole law unit amp got  songs done on ghm not a bad start to the day ,0.0
23942,lost my kitty already ,2.0
23943,hello twitter  ,0.0
23944,i want a hug from tommcfly  haha i love you baby ♥,0.0
23945,kennethwhalum we want an update on wwwthelifeofkencom ,0.0
23946,my bf has anger issues and its causing problems in our relationship so i have depression and anxiety and my boyfriend has depression and ptsd recently hes been getting irrationally angry about mistakes i make im constantly tired and i have problems remembering things so sometimes i just pass out accidentally while texting him or forget to do something he immediately turns rude and childish when he discovers it and trying to talk to him just makes him more angry he holds onto grudges is stubborn and often refuses to admit hes wrong unless theres hard evidence there are times where he stays angry for daysim a timid and soft spoken person and i suck at arguing i understand that his ptsd and depression is part of the reason why he lashes out im honestly not sure how to handle it anymore aside from giving him space and letting him cool down even though hes never gotten physical except today where he threw a wrapped sandwich at my face im concerned on how hell react if a serious issue came up his reactions are also making my depression and anxiety worse which is stressing me out and causing me to have more memory problems and causing more sleeping problems its turning into an unhealthy cycle i love him to bits and i know everyone has flaws but he doesnt act like he understands that i just want him to stop hell even just ease up on his reactions towards me,3.0
23947,i feel like there is no good left in this world everywhere there is just depressing shit my country is burning my husbands country is probably going to be bombed back to the stone age scientists are calling for radical change to save our eco systems and ourselves but the big corporations control everything and they only care about money whats the point anymore in trying to stay alive,3.0
23948,everamazed something wrong with d tv  and the tv guys excuse for not being able to make it is the rain when theyve hardly even begun,2.0
23949,i am pretty much loving this weather snuggles to all ,0.0
23950,ok i jus had to vent that  if u were there then u understand my reasoning sry jus had  off chest i feel betta thankya lord ,0.0
23951,im glad you all agree with my joint suicide plan,0.0
23952,i miss teedra moses complex simplicity piecrcing thru my head right now ,0.0
23953,damn you twitter i just cant quit you im lonely ,2.0
23954,in sociology we have to create our own society all im gonna say is bradocracy ,0.0
23955,will it get better probably insignificant compared to other bigger problems in this sub but oh well  years ago i moved back to my home country america and now im a junior in high school i havent made any good friendships and its really messed up my self esteem i feel like im not a fun person anymore and im incapable of being the person i was  years ago everyday i go to school go to practice and then go home and im getting bored of life i used to have hope that after high school ill find people i can relate to and go back to the way i was when i was happy but i dont know if its possible anymore i just feel like im a really boring person not meant to have any friends thinking this everyday is really fucking me up and i was about to kill my self but i couldnt do it i guess in a way that was a good thing because deep down i know i couldnt kill myself but i still think about it and weigh the positives and negatives everyday i have trouble thinking positively and was hoping to maybe hear from some different minded people their thoughts thank you,3.0
23956,im going to fail senior year im taking an ap macroeconomics course that i have to pass to graduate the only reason im in it is because when i was a freshman i thought i could use the challenge and signed up for ap history classes and they just kept me in ap all through high school i was doing ok not great but passing until i moved schools in october of this year i dont know if its her teaching style or me being terrible at dealing with change or what but i dont understand anything im failing with a  and i know its just going to keep dropping because i literally dont understand anything moving schools really fucked me up and ive missed tons and tons of days just to lay in bed and sulk i feel like a fucking failure im not going to graduate that cap and gown my family bought was for jack shit i dont know what to do and every time i come to school i just feel like bawling my eyes out ,3.0
23957,graduation tommorrow and i dont know why they grad song is quotim not gonna cryquot because i know everyone is going to cry including me ,2.0
23958,watching american idol with my momupset that i didnt get to see the baby elephant when i went to the zoo today ,2.0
23959,all amazingly good and winter their is warm not like taipei people are incredibly passionatetoo i had a wonderful time ,0.0
23960,just going to sit here and spew out feelings ignore this constantly have no energy life is dull and boring i had interests but they are waning my social group is small and almost non existent i miss my family and my friends from home i miss school im constantly missing lectures as i dont have the energy to get out of bed my room is littered with empty crisp packets and shit so much that you cant see the floor but i cant tidy it not showered in ages dont care for hygiene im just sitting in my room and waiting for this to end because i cant do anything else music was my passion but i struggle to enjoy it now im missing assignments in going to fail in my first year because of my stupid fucking brain i know i have the capability to easily do well but my fucking stupid brain tells me no youre just going to sit and cry on your bed all day rather than work and be productive this is shit everything around me is shit im shit,3.0
23961,cleanning the stupid house cause my mum went out tohave fun again leaving me in the mess againgt   missing dad ,2.0
23962,peoelpe are msomean onjr eddit hwy do peoeple foret that ik iam huaman llook art hmy alst post tit i was tryohig to tget tadvice and people hate rme because ei sahke  its snot my nmyfauslt im likee this  wmhgy are humans liek thies i canc undertratsand the wpeopele hwhio dodnt ewantt tpto belicve that i have pernament cattationiaandd thhink i am a ajoek ore aogre opr troll but therre andre peopel hwo are hjust meane to me just tofor rhte asake of beingg mean whwyuw doews it has to be maee ,3.0
23963,but media keeps telling me that the election was about economicerr cultural anxiety ,2.0
23964,oh wait no ,2.0
23965,rt srbininfo ковачевић вучићу мало си се курчио у кафани сад би да делимо рачун тешко рођаче ,0.0
23966, we were at the jaze sky office   floors above oxford st in the quotbrainstorm roomquot  you can see the  lcd off to the right,0.0
23967,im drowning and people helping me are getting sad too im done fucking trying things in this miserable life of mine i failed to my parents who are helping me a lot i cant even get a driving license and they gava me the car without me even deserve it my college is a complete mess i quit gym the thing that would make me happy the only thing i quit it now im getting fat but i dont know why i cant get out of this cycle this failure this anger of myself i dont wanna die guys ,3.0
23968,hothotwasabi  i am driving cross country and currently in oklahoma ,2.0
23969,angelinezylstra sure i saw evidence of range even in few i saw eg ddlj  asoka no doubt he can really act but not sure it matters ,0.0
23970,sergeb very cool always nice to hear  of my top  favorite addons merge together ,0.0
23971,ok got to go  the gym now streamyx really hated us   ,2.0
23972, is out the the trending topics ,2.0
23973, yeah it does  ,2.0
23974,thisiskristine omg good luck ,0.0
23975,i hate myself i am a gay  year old male i hate myself because of it and feel depressed the majority of my family is antilgbt and luckily doesnt know that i am gay i currently just do not want to live and feel empty and that no one truly cares,3.0
23976, im the one whos humbled i wish i lived in arizona oh well god has me here in colorado among the snowy trails ,2.0
23977,this is a pain its  and not a peep from fe fe  i hope she is safe i just do not feel comfortable not being their to protect her,2.0
23978,ok i lied im not going to sleep because hamusic is live wwwstickamcomhelloastronaut ,0.0
23979,feel hurt  i dont want to stop but i guess i have to  god its going to be so hard on me ,2.0
23980,um all excited for the  day in ksa ,0.0
23981,stupid brother and his stupid exams wont let me watch tv  grrrrr,2.0
23982,sadly my left ear has difficulty hearing at some maybe at a high frequency now ,2.0
23983,junglgrl no not yet ,0.0
23984,stevedewsa because depression is an actual disease that does need medicine you cant will it away  of the time,1.0
23985,i over drafted more than i thought  i suck icould have bought so much with all the fees i owe,2.0
23986,any help pls so right to start im  positive i have anxiety and possible smiling depressionever since i can remember i have been singled out in one way or another in my primary school years ages  my closest and only friend also my cousin who lived next door to me turned on me and being the hands down most popular kid in school turned the rest of the school on me and got two years i was left alone with no one by my sidei then got a scholarship into a school in bedford unwitting of how challenging and hard an achievement it wasas for my home life it has always been shaky even getting to points where i have to leave home for the most part of the day hours at a time returning only our off fear for whatll happen if i dontmy brother and sister often enjoy pulling my leg however i often take it personally and snap at themi have quite a few friends now and an known to be the loud and boisterous one maybe even class clownrecently as in the past two years it has felt horrible as my parents often argue my mother leaving home for a week without telling anyone and me telling myself that i stuck and dont deserve anyone to be aroundmy grandmother died approx a year back followed by my dog and then on oct  last year my  month old kitten was hit by a car not being able to bear the pain i didnt see his body after that cat was like a lifeline for me those  months were brutal and everyday when id find home from school even when everyone else wouldve rather me dead he would be there waiting for me he loved me to bits just as i did him he isnt alive anymore but i still cry when i think of himi want to be a person that can brighten peoples lives by simply being present i want to be someones hero i want to be able to look at myself and say hey cheer up you arent so badbut im so lost and confused and i dont know what to do i dont want to talk to my parents and in school after seeing a counselor for  hours over  weeks ive been close to sleepless being plagued by thoughts of my pasti dont know what to do but the walls of my life are crumbling and i feel powerless to do anything so help anyone ,3.0
23987,depression is making me mental first of all im fairly new to redditi  feel that my depression is pressing towards mental issues that i havent experienced i am pretty much scared and built so much nervousness around me i feel so much pressure that i cant bare to take it no more i am stuck in a situation whereas if these mental issues increase then i would be more depressed i am an introvert and you probably guess its qualities but it is up to this point where i dont have the energy to talk to people college is already bumming me out since there is two weeks left in the semester this is my story yall id love to chat to anyone with open arms with help and comfort,3.0
23988,dont forget estou com raiva do grrrreat ,2.0
23989,hectorbrossi devilgotmywoman i liked  the first time around but didnt tell a soul for fear of being mocked  ,2.0
23990,i cant do it anymore i feel like im in complete agony i had an episode of depression from may of last year to maybe october i started taking cipralex  i felt a lot better now im starting to feel really bad again i cant take it i cant take always feeling sad im barely hanging on i need to know there is some way out of this ,3.0
23991,maniac mentality making my melancholy malevolent instead of getting sad it is easier to get mad less wondering why and more hatred towards the bad thought makeri am hatred for being the cause of all problemsstop rewriting this with different words you fucking thesaurus,3.0
23992,always been lonely and put down in my life im older now   and it feels everytime someone tries to get close with me i just push them away  im pretty sure this because i always been so lonely and sad   in my youth  i have really bad adhd and when i tell my mom about how much i hated my child hood she hates me and breaks down and crys i dont see this being anyones fault but my brain and ill do is smoke weed and drop lsd and do shrooms im  just always sad and need these things to get me happy i just wish i could explain my life to every person i meet to make them understand why im so cold and i wish i could just change the way i live everyday and be able to be nice to people who want me to be involved in there life iv been use doing shrooms a lot this past december cause how depressed iv been feeling it working really great i just dont want anymore drugs im so young ,3.0
23993,xmts after that wait about  minutes but when i do it it take more time  wait until completely dry the pack and gently pull off,2.0
23994,happy friday  yay for  day weekends ,0.0
23995,xobellexo haha its all good im just imagining it as being one giant yay ,0.0
23996,tdwpband  you should play louder then thunder its a really nice song and like very different dez moines and of course sassafras ,0.0
23997,kevinruddpm you guys delivered a smackdown on the opposition today in question time funniest show on tv wish abc showed it all ,0.0
23998,jesus christ i feel stuck omfg i want to just die rn ive been in quarantine for a few weeks now its been so shit and ive dealt with it already i miss the girl i was talking to and i miss my friends all that is gone now till the end of april i have nobody now i have nothing i cant stay home for more than a fucking month theres nothing to do i have no purpose or goal i just want to die nowedit i know facetime and text exists but its so shit and it only tends your needs for so long i miss human contact ,3.0
23999,feeling neauseus at  in the morning shiats ,2.0
24000,just got done cuddling with jasmine i remember when she was a baby awww  amp then she made me want a bnvm let me get my thoughts right lol,2.0
24001,proxyman  but good morning ruby ,0.0
24002,ur precious and adorable hbahddhaddbaj ,1.0
24003,amazoniansenna aw sorry sen youre nice enough but im still trying to get the vamp smell out of my hair ,2.0
24004,is going back to reality tomorrow ,2.0
24005,jessicascupcake sounds like the perfect day hope you have a fab sunday ,0.0
24006,dspringfieldcbc the direct message seemed to work  is there a manual somewhere for this ,0.0
24007,lost a friend at this moment i never had luck with socialization and making friends since i was a little kid nobody wanted to hand out with me everything has to be forced i had my false self exposed in order for anyone to like me now as an adult the things arent much different still struggling to maintain  friends but things always move out of my control been depressed for a whole year a period when its unbearable to think feel or even love i dont have strength i dont have willpower anymore i cant force myself to pretend to be someone that im not i cant waste my time still trying to make friends im  years old i just want someone who will show some mutual care and affection nothing else ,3.0
24008,highly blessed and stress free,1.0
24009,i missed buckhollywood ,2.0
24010,fighting with family is a bummer ,2.0
24011,at kyleighs house ,0.0
24012,ive been like ive been depressed since birth okay strange title im aware i was born with treacher collins an inherited condition in which some bones and tissues in the face arent developed i wasnt inherited i was a mutation so im the black sheep of the family to say the least ive never talked about it i never wanted people to care i guess ive been bullied as you can imagine relationships dont really work some held weight but doesnt last long i cant really blame them most relationship are based on looks largely even tho people say looks doesnt matter they do ive never told my family that ive been bullied my family  they are good people its not that they didnt care i crafted this mask since i was really little that in order for my family to sleep at night they need to believe that i get treated like everyone else now treacher collins i imagine most of you dont know what that is the book wonder and the movie with the same title which i refused to watch are about the syndrome added this for context this is my first time opening up ive even made a other account bc i dont want this being tied to me directly so like ive said ive been bullied i was made fun of my appearance which i had no control over i was thrown into garbage bins rocks throw at me when i was little i was able to just push it aside but i knew it was affecting me kept on saying to myself kids are kids it only started really affecting me in high school i didnt get bullied in high school at much as middleelementary but over the course of my life ive gotten distance and colder as told by a childhood friend who i dont talk to anymore ive only recently started to realize that im super pessimistic  im depressed this is my first time saying well typing it out loud and i dont want to be at all but then i look into the mirror and i dont like the man staring back at me ive thought about taking my life since i was  but never did because i didnt want my parents to find me like that thats the only reason theres moments were i get happy maybe i started talking to a girl and we are hitting it off but then she goes for another attractive opinion  and i get a bit distanced today i thought about taking my own life i sat down and actually considered it deeply grab a thing of pills and just sat there looked into the mirror to just motivate me i guess i couldnt but im just tired of wearing this mask every single day to friends and family that everything is all right  im sorry if this is all over the place this is my first time ever really talking about it thanks ,3.0
24013,eating peanut butter mampms lawlz in study hall bitches ,0.0
24014,someone love me i have no friends my family is gone i recently lost the one chance at someone i found special after  years of being on this planet ive known nothing but loneliness for  years i want to feel loved ive tried so hard to put myself out there but i have never found it  years of feeling worthless like my life doesnt matter i could die tomorrow and no one would care it would be a blip on a few peoples radars but they would get over it quickly i am alone truly alone,3.0
24015,im  not sure how to talk to my new lover  about my depression hey reddit i am in a new relationship with a coworker it is very new and we havent actually spoken in depth about the label of us or anything along those lines just taking it easy my depression is very bad lately and because we spend a lot of time together between work and our personal lives it is very clear to him something is going on with me im at a loss wondering if its too intense for this early on and how much detail do i go into i dont want to scare him away but i feel i am being dishonest thank you for your helptldr i need advice on how to talk with my new lovercoworker about my depression,3.0
24016,ravencrow bastards ,2.0
24017,orianagamez heyy  how are u,0.0
24018,tummy full  got that itis,0.0
24019,rainy season is now here get your umbrellas and be ready ,0.0
24020,amandafd yeah  thx my friend  hows your day ,0.0
24021, ill ghostwrite for you ,0.0
24022,mất nhi�u th�i gian cho mấy cái linh tinh quá ,2.0
24023,just venting ignore me what am i going to do with my life the things i was interested in just dont mean anything anymore i used to love space and exploration but i know i can never contribute and now i just feel like a leach when i look at the topic same goes for games planes food pretty much anything really ive dug myself a hole and now im mad at myself for being unable to get out i hit the refresh button on reddit about a billion times a day i dont even read much anymore the usual zero energy is hitting me harder then usual i watched a video by kurzgesagt where they were discussing loneliness the social isolation really hit home for me for someone thats lived alone for the last  years thats unusual  the catalyst for all this was a ticket i got myself in an effort to get out of the apartment chris hadfield a canadian astronaut is doing a show and i thought maybe it would rekindle some passion in my life its had the opposite effect i realize i cant contribute to these people i dont know what i can contribute never before in my life have i not been able to imagine a better future for myself it scares me how much ive given up on everything i was never happy but this is different its beyond hollow like a black hole in my heart  i got two tickets and i dont even know anyone to go with in this city s   im not in any danger there are three people that i can talk to i just feel lost isolated and useless maybe i just wanted to write something down and throw it into the either if you are still reading im sorry i wasted your time just wanted to vent is all ,3.0
24024,slowly reading psych notes but doing well  wish i did this yesturday too,0.0
24025,i wish blue mars and cryosleep would come back up  httpbluemarsorg,2.0
24026,forgot all about dinnerill grab something quick now then follow my parents example and go to bed before work tomorrow ,0.0
24027,please help me i dont know whats wrong with me im not sure this is the right subreddit but i need some outside opinions some backstoryim currently attending collegei have a body focused repetitive disorder that popped up around early high school and has since been a lot better ive always been a bit on the depressed side since middle school with low self esteem one reccuring thing is in certain situations i become very stressed  to the point where my mind just digs itself into a hole of despair and i have episodes of just crying and feeling extremely awful most recently ive been triggered by my boyfriendat first it was just arguments over random things we disagreed on and slowly the crying episodes came on eventually i think its just instances of him being mad at things i dont do on purpose but are sometimes wrong and me feeling so bad about myself that i get into that mind space and cant get out he thinks of them as tantrums and doesnt know how to deal with or help with them even at home when i think too much i focus on all the bad and this happens again i start doubting my relationship because of all the bad stuff i start feeling bad about my life etcfor the most part i really like my relationship outside of the arguments we fit together really well hes very sweet and caring does anyone know what i might be experiencing and how to fix it,3.0
24028,twesommelier fantastic  im trying some catawba wine in mine writing an article about itits very sweet with a beautiful gold color,0.0
24029,you trying to get a hit tweet i see this tragic attempt is sad tbh but carry on 😪,2.0
24030,rt monyquexo so many women are replying to this trying to justify use of birth control because its not for sex only so what if youre,1.0
24031,olkaaaaa yes youre definitely a lucky girl  thats what i think brazil suxs hahaha ,2.0
24032,michaelbuckle hmm it doesnt does it  right ill let you get on speak later,2.0
24033,confused not sure if this is depression in my opinion i dont think i have depression but im constantly tired always wanting to sleep im constantly moving i cant stay still for more than a few seconds i dont have the urge to go into public and i feel like nobody wants me around them i want a second opinion,3.0
24034,i just want to be happy each time i find something that makes me midly happy that becames something that makes me depressed sports going out with friends singing that just doesnt feel the same,3.0
24035,kelleycat its ok we forgive you ,0.0
24036,snipershome  i think its kinda spinkling i can spell it hehe hte sidewalk smell ,0.0
24037,marikamay thank you  furfurrrr,0.0
24038,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
24039,would kill for a lie in ,2.0
24040,bcaple you know you can  me so i know who youre talking to ,0.0
24041,home again ,2.0
24042,themacmommy find that u get better results  store  may help that i am  and ornery looking ,0.0
24043,first post here sorry for my bad english hey guys i been in this sub for a log time now i made this account a while back just in case i needed to post something and here it is first post here because i needed to vent somewhere im  years old guy who suffers depression for almost  years never talk to someone because i feel they have they own problems to even add my own i cant seek help too because to tell you truth i dont really want to i feel like i deserved this tonight i felt so down that i started cutting myself for the first time i wanna cry let this feelings go out someway but i cant do it i cant cry and this is the only way i can think of release some pain im still shaking my hands wont stop moving and im afraid that i have already crossed a line that maybe i will never be able to go back toafraid that even i kill myself one of this days i wanted to do it for a long time now but the reason i never ended my life it is because my mothershe almost died in  because her heart almost stop working but she fought like a warrior to be alive and if i kill myself i know that it will be so hard for her that she may come after me and i feel is not fair for her you know after all she been through she deserved to live a beautiful lifebut i think there is no such thing for me i just live my days in automatic mode no expression no motivation i dont feel like doing nothing i dont even want to eat i just wanna stay in my bed thinking about everything wich of course makes my depression even worse i cant date girls because i feel they can find someone much better than me i dont wanna go out with the few friends i have left because i consider myself im a boring person to be with i cant even play videogames with someone anymore because i feel they can find much better players than mei just spend my days alone my head always hurts because im always thinking things i can barely smile wich i only do so people wont ask me whats going on i can barely sleep anymore either because like i said im always thinkingi just dont know what to do anymore i cant deal this anymoreeveryday is getting worse and worse and im fine with it because i deserved iti dont even know what to say anymoresorry for the long post and you dont have to answer me i just needed to get that out of my chest and sorry for my english too,3.0
24044,mausite thank you thats the beauty of facebook and twitter i suppose ,0.0
24045,rt vonschnooks i fucking love  for bringing in his experience with having anxiety in his new album like thank you man https,0.0
24046,wants seventeen forever metro station on my phone i am just not allowd to download it and i dont hav any money either to buy the cd ,2.0
24047,why this week of all weeks is going a tad bit slower its only thursday ,2.0
24048,venomireland give it half an hour man enjoy it while you have it ,2.0
24049,i added a video to a youtube playlist  thukra ke mera pyar mera intekam dekhegiheartbroken sad videowhatsapp,2.0
24050,is very sad today ,2.0
24051,theres so much in my head every night i remember everything every lroblem ive ever faced i need to talk to someonne not just over tgge onternet really talk to someone to fix this byt tge next morning when asked he wont go he wont see someone he thinks hes fine he thinks he wont remember he thinks hes being a burden if he does see someone he thinks talking about it will make it worse,3.0
24052,finally bout to be home n gettin some sleepbout to leave da aunts houseshower den bedn  more days of skoolshit sad yosmh ,2.0
24053, good that will give u something to keep urself busy with ,0.0
24054,doesnt appreciate when people call her at  to call her calamity mez have a nose bleed nd hang up ,2.0
24055, hope you have a lovely time jj   im pretty sure you will very jealous x,0.0
24056,us releases secret list of nuclear sites accidentally    ,2.0
24057,stephenfry perhaps we should now refer to you as sir tanalot  ,0.0
24058,rt kxshvibes idc what anyone says anxiety can really ruin relationships if you dont put the effort in to combat it,2.0
24059,too inspired to sleep but  sunday shift calls  i guess ill just put imagery to my dreams while im at it  gnite,2.0
24060,thinks jorges friends on fb are right and he is a gym poser  i love you bfffffff its tearin up my heart when im with you lol,0.0
24061,teemwilliams heyyyyy im in the d  hope youre enjoying the beautiful scenery sarcasm,0.0
24062,deniserichards just dont do what i do and make coffee ,0.0
24063,trying to signup to serialseb agile talk the register button takes you to the venue page   signupfail,2.0
24064,stuffed bear therapy today was just me crying crying crying i couldnt stop talking about how much it hurt and my therapist looked sympathetic and helped me through it at the end i asked her what i should do since i have another week until i see her againshe gave me a small bear a small little polar bear that i can carry around with me to tell my suicidal thoughts to and to hug when it all gets too much she told me next week wed start working on visualisation techniques and to try and make a safe space in my mind when i need an escapeyes i still feel extremely shittybut i cant help but smile whenever i see the little fella,3.0
24065,rastamiller these are questions i do not have answers to  lolll,2.0
24066,hmm im bored lol im me mess me please  dang i wana be with  like now ,2.0
24067,shoaib akhtar gets diagnosed with genital warts you couldnt make this stuff up what a douche  httptinyurlcomokcubn,0.0
24068,rnyalison ahhahaa not old at all  hehe i think old is like  lol your still a youngin you still know whats shakin ,0.0
24069,babygirlparis paris please answer once itll make me sooo happy   ,2.0
24070,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
24071,thanks armin for everything  bye everyone   se u next time   bye ,0.0
24072,paganmusic  keep doing what youre doing damh love your music,0.0
24073,fresh banana pancakes anyone  ,0.0
24074,so i keep shifting frm  to  back to  not kool ,2.0
24075,my work shoes are falling apart damnit ,2.0
24076,good morning everyone  gorgeous day  ,0.0
24077,i want my hips done ,2.0
24078,smartmouthbroad  southplatte girltornado you mean a quottwitterventionquot ,0.0
24079,mbase cheers over here as in europenorway to be presice i found the boxset in a polish webshop this morning hopefully in stock ,0.0
24080,ai que preguiça de shopping ,2.0
24081,i hate mondays ,2.0
24082,the meds and weird dreams i feel like i wake up more exhausted than when i go to sleepmy dreams are very consistentill have just one long dream instead of hoping from one to anotherall the mundane is shown walking from place to place in real time etcits less of a dream and more of inhabiting the body of myself on a different timelinelike jumping from timeline to timeline seeing what the world is likeand i wake up soo exhausted mouth dry,3.0
24083,owh had a sore throat since i was visited my old friends house i ate to much sweets there i hate it ,2.0
24084, sorry dude i think i may have spammed you the other day ,2.0
24085,estrogen quotblippo  thanx a long family day gquot  cool  y shouldnt birds sing httptinyurlcomccoglo ♫ ,0.0
24086,just got accepted into medical school and i should be celebrating but i just feel numb after three years working my ass off in undergraduate to get my gpa to a high enough standard and degrading my mental health along the way with all the stress i finally got into my dream medical school this has been my dream for such a long time and i always imagined the feeling i would have getting in the relief the excitement the gratification but its been about a week since i got accepted and i just feel numb,3.0
24087,lost ive been really lost lately a lot of hard life experiences happened and i feel like i have been completely drained of any bit of happiness i hadive let myself get hurt over and over again by someone that i trusted and truly loved and cared for and i just recently took back control on the situation and cut this person off to try to save myself and heal from everythingthe problem is that at the moment i feel worse than i did before i cut the person off i feel empty unmotivated im exhausted and this feeling of loneliness is becoming oppressive im immensely lucky to have one amazing friend thats been there for me and has been helping me out the most he could but im scared that one day ill just be too much too sad which would cause him to leavei know that things get better with time but everything is starting to be too overwhelming and i dont know what to do andor how to slowly get back on my feet i want to be able to find back the happiness and energy that i once had,3.0
24088,i feel so fragile just anything makes me burst into tears and on a cutting spreelike if someone yells at me even if they are just joking i will go so scared and get in a ball walking back and forth cryingwhywell my dad would always yell at me well he throw stuff at me and just yelled awful thingsbut just anything that anyone triggers something in meeverything reminds me of a horrible memoryi dont like talking about anything school related because well a teacher tried to get in my pants once yea that was fun hmm well he did succeed in getting up my shirt and well if i even hear any version of the word mom for any reason well i remember my motherthe drugy that abandoned me when i was  well you get the point every thing triggers me so i cant get any peace for one day even if i absolutely need to live the house i go out wearing airbuds and keep my head down lowwearing sweaters but also very much on alerti dont even know what to do,3.0
24089,im only up and its half eleven its been years since i slept that late dogs where strangely quiet this morning have a huge hangover ,2.0
24090,i feel like magic cards are ruining my life im a magic the gathering player with a fairly large collection my room looks like it belongs on hoarders but i feel like i dont even want most of this stuff but everything is covered in micro piles of organized cards preventing me from doing anything else in the room i feel like im helpless to do anything about this because im stricken with fear of deorganizing my shitty ass cards i keep telling myself that i have to organize them before i can do anything else but i cant even bring myself to look at them unless its to dig around for something i need i literally have piles of shit all over my bed even at this point i feel so angry at myself for even wanting to keep them at this point i almost wish i could just burn my whole room to the groundive been thinking about hiring a professional organizer even to help with the rest of the room but i keep coming back to worrying about the cards since i feel like any help i get wont be able to organize them properly or would deorganize them a loti wish i could just forget about all my piles and throw everything in a shoebox haphazardly and sort it out later maybe even bring it to somewhere my friends could help with somehow but i feel too stressed about itits fucked up because i feel like these pieces of cardboard that are forming a top coat over my entire room are forcing my to borderline live in squalor,3.0
24091, for rent minus  for my car minus whatever i spend in san francisco this weekend  broke ,2.0
24092,playing nascar  i miss my baby ,2.0
24093,  arbys took down their roastburger coupon     but i found the image in my browser cachesocheap lunch ,2.0
24094,my tan bubbled ,2.0
24095, and a   com on pakistan pakcricket,2.0
24096,ixn emang dasarnya males apa gimanaa haha anw thanks for following me ,0.0
24097,tired stressed feeling down dont like tweeting about bad shit but levels of stress has gotten to me hate it just w ,1.0
24098,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
24099,at work i feel like im gonna pass out ,2.0
24100,everyone will be playing their new games tonight except me  you all suck,2.0
24101,missalonso no im hyper it went really well couldnt have gone better delighted ,0.0
24102,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
24103,apricotbaby   awwwthank you  ,0.0
24104,kdfw the girl in the suitcase story is just messed up  cant imagine anyone doing something like that  ,2.0
24105,honeybeetoys that is really cool must have really made you smile more ,0.0
24106,quot eeep omg that jeff jonas is so hot quot  xd  lmao not the same here ,2.0
24107,brandonacox youre such a dork lol glad shes okay i hate when that happens ,2.0
24108,brandonalley  i emailed raleigh denim ages ago about doing a custom pair and never heard back from them ,2.0
24109,rt ericamer the devil exists and his name its not satan hes called anxiety,2.0
24110,about to head out for a drink w a nontwitterer     anything going on near qww ossington or kensington area,0.0
24111,amforbus you puked ,2.0
24112,house warming party today yay but i so need a nap before i only got like  hours of sleep in the last  nights ,2.0
24113,wizbiff thanks honey and congrats again although i am way jealous  ,0.0
24114,isplayer has died sorry ,2.0
24115,i hate this ,2.0
24116,i cleaned my keyboardnow spacebar is not working ok  have to disassemble tomorrowagain,2.0
24117,thatsevan thats seriously sad  ,2.0
24118,just made humus recipe with a mixer and tinchickpeas   tastes pretty good though i imagine dried chickpeas are even more tasty,0.0
24119,just made a cop friend cause im pretty ,0.0
24120,staceyrae i really hope it works is the video on the power point omgif this doesnt work im actually going ot freak out  yn,2.0
24121,why try i am only a series of failings ill never live down some days i just cant fucking do this anymore its a good thing my memory is so horrible or else id wake up everyday and remember how rarely its something good that i do thats recognized or appreciated by anyonei dont remember the last time i felt real appreciation i dont want to aspire to anymore ill just forget about this idea of being good enough or this notion of trying but failing still having any kind of value and keep doing what im expected to until i finally fucking die and i dont have to come up short anymore,3.0
24122,kayleybug me to the one about the tutor named tutor ,0.0
24123, sure thing ,0.0
24124,raina rohit and yousuf are brainless idiots who can be fooled anytime by anybodyand dhoni just sucks how much will poor yuvraj do ,2.0
24125,anyone having a rough start this year  i was very excited for this year until everything went  downhill in these past  weeks i have been having problems after problems nonstop coming left and right despite trying to stay optimistic even though theres nothing to feel positive about latelyi live in a poor country tried looking for a job to support my university fees but no luck so fari have tried to work from a website but i guess getting paid will take a long whilei dont know if i can stay patient for so long kind of thinking to kill myself or just injure myself to the point where i would not wake up anymore there has only been negativity happening to me anyone feeling the same,3.0
24126, dont let stress ruin your day support your mood stability with natural vitality calm try it out httpstcopykebpyhrv,1.0
24127,my computer died ,2.0
24128,where did my baby go ,2.0
24129,lauracfin gah my dad is flying in from florida to renew his passport then and we are both going to ottawa that weekend sorry ,2.0
24130,itstimetogo  i have done all twilight books they  are so great,0.0
24131,taking a bit of a holiday from everything today ie being really really lazy ,0.0
24132,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
24133,ive made a mistake ive  stupidly let myself fall in love with someone i can never be withi believe this person was meant to be my soul mate but life is cruel well it is for meyou see when i was  i was diagnosed with a rare illness that has effected my heart i was told id be dead before  amp i was ok with that but last summer it almost killed me im only  it has made me realise that i could die tomorrow for all i know ive told her my situation amp now i barely hear from her which stingslosing  the girl of your dreams because of something like this is a pain i cant describe i actually cried the other day ,3.0
24134,violetbakes two good excuses then ,0.0
24135,today is dvd marathon day  capuccino and pandesal is the perfect way to start a rainy day yum,0.0
24136,my computer is slow ,2.0
24137,at charity event for mynamar kids everythg from chicken dance belly dancing to sizzle and burn ,0.0
24138,shaunnorris haha did yourse im sure its better then nothing ,0.0
24139,im going miss gilmore girls today im a little gutted to be honest ,2.0
24140,ldlkjdga i wanna see blg on june  but i cant  ,2.0
24141,mandiiurie yea my dad won   on a slot machine so i got  sum stuff at hot topic over there ,0.0
24142,bradwollack i hafta be truthful i get dissapointed everytime your not on roundtable your my fave sucks chelsea thinks your jokes suck ,0.0
24143,did taking antidepressants or other medications helped you    i feel like i spent most of my time just trying out new treatments but nothing seemed to help   i know medications are just  of pathway to full recovery the rest is on talking with psychiatrist and our will to change at least something i am willing to listen all of your stories because right now i feel really helpless,3.0
24144,great day of meetings just wish my finish to the day wasnt taking the red eye home ,2.0
24145,webholics say ping as soon as u r ready for pre fucamp ,0.0
24146,gullydamonsta ok well check this out what does it mean a man says quotyou deserve someone betterquot ive gotten that one hm once or twice ,2.0
24147,louiseyfxce awh thanks chicken  we dont have asda here so going to check tesco  hope you get it soon xoxox,0.0
24148,heidenkind thanks ,0.0
24149,missmagz  ooooh im gonna add you to my link list and read from now on i really think you should do the poetry month challenge tho sis ,2.0
24150,i dont want to exist anymore my relationship is failing i work at a lame ass food place making shit money i live in a country with a stupid shit for brains president i want to go to therapy but cant afford it i cant get a better job and stay happy because a better job isnt the career i want and i cant have that career because college is too expensive as well i dont know why im even here anymore nothing has given me a reason to stay i cant stop spending my money it feels like im stuck and i have nowhere to go nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from the trap that is like around the leg of my dignity and will to live i dont want to have to deal with the pain anymore i just want it to stop thats all i ask but it will never happen,3.0
24151,leydylaura believe me i have kicked myself numerous times for not being there to stalk him family has not permitted it though ,2.0
24152,i cant freakin believe i let laura suck me into twitter ,2.0
24153,im excited for the things for jays room to arrive ,0.0
24154,to my younger brotherim sorrymy depression made my loneliness more important than my attempts to show you the love you deserve from me,1.0
24155,qzanny bladder infection owwwwwww   ,2.0
24156,rt  what if i told you the lgbqt community benefits the most from suicide prevention and mental health awareness https,1.0
24157,cheesticks and arizona green tea yumm yum ,0.0
24158,not wanting to be at work now  two more weeks and i am on vacation,2.0
24159,booked myself a flight to iceland  never been going by myself will just roll with it and see what happens ,0.0
24160,actually eddie coughed on it and then chewed it eww  yeah i never miss a thing,2.0
24161,my butt would be rated a  but i have a weird tanline so i give myself an  ,2.0
24162,first time seriously thinking about it today ive been in a sort of materialistic cycle now for a month or two where im buying clothes and saving for games ect and only recently have i had the clarity to realise none of this stuff means anything without anyone meaningful in my life when i think about gaming and what drives me to purchase these things is playing with someone but i have no one and so i was on the bus mulling over this on my way to my shitty job and i saw a group of friends interacting and i just felt sad because i know however much i want it my volatile selfish and judgmental personality will only attract dysfunctional relationships and even an so cant happen because im infected with a disgusting fetish that will drive some of the most empathetic people away im seriously mentally ill and i just had an overwhelming desire to not go to work and just sit by a bridge and be tempted to do something not for attention just because i dont see how ill carry on im a black hole for care and its not like i have a good support network in family my mother is who made me this way and are relationship is beyond complicated shes is pretty much borderline personality disorder and my dad is manipulative and cold and even my brother i get on with but only in a handful of things because he spent the majority of my childhood beating me up and pushing me away because of ocd so there isnt a great foundation i find him inherently obnoxious which seems to stem from our past didnt help that i fucked up at work today and im terrified im gonna loose my income or any reputation i had for future work,3.0
24163,yoyna haha yeah she is  haha i hope so  gonna be looking forward for it if ever so many new movies to wait for lol,0.0
24164,another module done  now for some trampolining ,0.0
24165,unahealy wish i could go but i have an exam the day after the only one i could to go to so im not allowed  are you touring next year,2.0
24166,wrestlevania if only it would work on my pc  i keep getting this mysterious steam error message quotthis game is not available right nowquot,2.0
24167,i cam home today on the verge of breaking recently i came to the realisation i was depressed ive been venting on reddit i forgot to get off my main to post once and my friend saw one of my posts im so scared i dont want people to know i dont want people to know because i cope by running from it im so fucking scared to face it what do i do here,3.0
24168,depression is a never ending cycle for some people ive known people who were depressed once and gotten over itbut for me and a lot of people it keeps coming back its so demotivating i wish it would just be gone forever at least i recognized the symptoms right away this time and kind of know what to expectthat it will take me another  years to fully recover i noticed straight away that i stopped talking to everyone i dont want to i dont want to leave the house i love staying at home its the safest place on earth i dont enjoy doing anything anymore one thing that changed is that last time i was severely depressed i always had a little bit of hope things will be good one day this time i really dont believe it now i realize life is just truly depressing how can people be happy like seriously there is so much bad death in the family or anything bad that can happen which is actually a lot in the world and so little good happiness never lasts and sadness and depression can last forever i cant even think of anything that makes me truly happy everything that makes one happy a good job an so can turn on you at any second ,3.0
24169,koreancelt only  i thought he was older than that ,0.0
24170,the worst the worst fucking feeling ever is when your parents shun you when you explain to them your feelings my dad sent me to my room and my mom didnt talk to me she just stared and went on ,3.0
24171,chriscattaneo thank you for the retweet ,0.0
24172,rt napsapresident are you with us ,2.0
24173,it was a perfect cloudless sunny day today and i spent the whole day in my bed didnt even have the energy or the desire to do anything but sleep and go on my phone wasted a perfectly good day doing nothingi thought i liked sunshine but apparently im unhappy regardless of the weather,3.0
24174,how do i stop feeling this way why do i feel so ugly and so fat all the time i hate the way i look hate going out in public and i feel like ive ruined my life,3.0
24175,life sucks and then u die ive been going through a mental battle for a while now i just dont understand why we go through all these tough things in life and are expected to do things a certain way and if ur different in any way u are shunned and called an outcast and bullied for being different when at the end of the day everybody that is born are all just humans we all might sound look and act different but we are all humans but people lose touch in that also people go through so many rough patches just to get life snatched away at any given second and then what nobody knows what happens after this and it irritates me why are we here if people are gonna die to young or die tragically for no reason and thats it if god is real i just dont understand why he did this this is just one thing thats going through my mind i might sound crazy but my mind is just on a loop of overthinking everything and it really fucks with me and because of it ive been dealing with depression for a while and this is like the first time im opening up about it i just need to get some stuff off my chest none of my family knows ive only talked to one friend before but he just pushed it aside and doesnt check on me and ive been single my whole life i just need a girl to talk to and someone who truly cares for me cause otherwise why im i even here,3.0
24176, its been two hourslove where are you if youre with treasaint i may scream ,0.0
24177,ok so uhm im doing portfolio entries testing out my drawing skills a tad  dont like it when people dont text me back  ,0.0
24178,had the belt around my neck last night was going to be the night that i ended the pain and the loneliness i had the belt around my neck ready to hang myself from my door i just couldnt stop thinking about how my roommate would have to find me pushing against my dead weight to even get into my room but now that its the morning im so disappointed i allowed myself to see another day nothing makes me happy anymore even when i do the things that i used to love im just miserable i cant feel that way anymore i cant live like this,3.0
24179,im back not that ever left just havent been so down lately im a disappointment to the only ones who care i try so hard for the few i get excited and motivated to make happy but its not enough this time i wasnt enough im so sorry i put all my heart and soul into making you smile and you didnt i cant wait to sleep after my dentist appt tmro i just want to sleep until work calls me back,3.0
24180,had a wonderful day of positively nothingness ah god bless the summer ,0.0
24181,i miss you guys already  and i am sad i dont get to meet miss saurus i would also like a coffee,2.0
24182,ill start  favoritefriday  mine is my little hummer who has totally claimed the feeder just for himself,0.0
24183,doing some drafting of the candy colored merino silk from rogueknits finally its so gorgeous im terrified ill kill it with fire ,2.0
24184, where you at   no tweeting today no gardening either i bet,0.0
24185,thanks louis for buying me my mag   x,0.0
24186, hey everyone should be happy dont u think  love to ur mom for me and the exes lol,0.0
24187, wow luv the new pic   amp yes that is odd,0.0
24188,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
24189,kalemeow i hear that im not even at work ,2.0
24190,its not fair and i think your really mean i think your really mean i think your really mean   lily allen  not fair rocks ,0.0
24191,so proud of you driving anxiety is no joke ,0.0
24192,why cant i just wanna it has taken me about  months or so to finally post here but hello its me basically the reason its taken so long is because i wont let myself be depressed i read a lot of the post on here to try to relate or get info on how they fixed that problem im also dealing with atm or whatever it may be but the thing is my lifes not even that bad why do i hate it so much i had a fairly good child hood all things considering i make  a year i have a brand new truck a ticketed millwright beautiful gf and baby on the way and i hate every breath i take i dont even wanna keep writing this because even i know how ungrateful and fucking stupid i sound i have never seeked any kind of help whatsoever because i have no reason to be upset people have it way worse than i do suck it up pussy  has probably been said in my head  times by myself i have no reason to not want to live but whats the point i dont get why anyone would want to live anymore before i found out i was having a baby i had no intentions on reaching the age of  currently  because what was the point of doing this for another  days let alone  even  years and not even because my life is bad i dont have an option but to stay now as i have a baby due july im so excited to meet my future child but i am beyond pissed that i lost my easy way out heshe took it from me now that i cant ever kill myself and i have to live with my miserable self how do i fix it i cant do  more years of this i dont even hardly talk to anyone anymore maybe  or  people that i grew up with refuse to leave the house after work unless the ol lady makes me i always thought this was gonna be my last year i really dont mean so sound like some guy who has a minor inconvenience and is suicidal because its not im like this  i dont feel happiness anymore sorry for wasting everyones time with this instead of actual depression i just dont know what to do or who to talk to i just dont wanna look at my gun case everyday and regret not doing it years ago just because i have a family to feed,3.0
24193,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
24194,manojmuntashir ishqfm sr loveratri movie ma atif ka song sad ya romntic ha plz reply,2.0
24195,i am tired of everything and it never changes i feel like this all the time but i can never seem to find a way out it has been so long it seems like the problem is because of how empty my beliefs are and how unmotivated i feel towards everything i always plan for doing things that help me get better but i never do and it eventually feels so bad every time i have no clue what i should do what i should changei thought i will do something in quarantine but i am nothing more than a waste of life,3.0
24196,jane i love it when im inside and its raining really heavily i love the smell of the rain and the sound of it ,0.0
24197,ahhh trip to this wedding is gonna be boring now ,2.0
24198,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
24199,time for bed  not seeing the end of con air  ,2.0
24200,neilcurry i was just going to put that as my update ,2.0
24201,my self centered attitude just wanted to apologize to the group regarding the way i have acted in recent days in my comments to posts from people worried about the current state of world issues its one thing for me to post historical facts but i shouldnt have reacted the way i did when i dismiss out of hand the concern and opinion of others to those posters that i mistreated im sorry,3.0
24202, i hope so too we would all love to see you again ,0.0
24203,kidcalloway whats wrong w gay guys ,2.0
24204,httpwwwjessiecavecomfanlisting joooin it joooooin iiiiit its quite sad that this is the largest jessie fanlisting ,2.0
24205,tomorrow morning in worship quotthe challenge at the heart of pentecostquot  we must grow up in every way into him eph   wear red ,0.0
24206,joooo no i was in too much of a rush yesterday was my only day off until kamehameha day ,2.0
24207,i sometimes feel like its not depression keep in mind ive not been diagnosed but its pretty cookie cutter depression but recently ive really been thinking about it and im just so sensitive and i dont really know how to stop it i will flip my lid over things im not even upset over ill have breakdowns about something and then be perfectly fine after it just feels like im not in control of my emotions but not to the extent of bipolar its been this way since i was a kid and the strongest emotion has always either been anger or soul crushing sadness ive tried meditations and all that self help shit but its so on the spot idk how to stop it from happening it really runs my life because i dont ever leave my comfort zone or its a guaranteed meltdown i want to live again i dont wanna be upset all the fucking time i want to know ill come home watch some tv like i knew i wanted instead of dissociating halfway through the first episode and all of a sudden hit a low because im by myself how dare i be by myself even tho thats all i want all day this is just word vomit and im so sorry i just dont know where else to put my thoughts,3.0
24208,emscum o pls save me lol it would make my wkend complete ,2.0
24209,weimeng me thinks willyfoo will be talking about it later i see the slides  socialage,0.0
24210,rt laliftvillal quiero amigas que shippeen jalonso tanto como yo porque con el agarre de manosmás bien brazo ahrede hoy me altere yo,0.0
24211,brucefloyd ps are you a doctor or swine flu paranoid  ,0.0
24212,officialtila tila ur freaken amazing love the word waf ltkeep it cute lol like that would be a problem for u ,0.0
24213,nicoleapparatus no you cant no you cant   im just kidding that was mean i love you ,2.0
24214,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
24215,weeshannon im here and yeah i shall meet u there too what time you going home and do you need a lift  cant waitt xoxo,0.0
24216,i hear mrbig maybe coming to india   httpbitlyanhxp,0.0
24217,cant take it no longer i just wanna die my boyfriend is laying in my lap and i can just think of suicide i cant take it any longer im constantly thinking of ending my life and there is no silver lining i will never improve or feel differently after a certain amount of time and happy moments i come back to this constant feeling of pain and exhaustion its just what it is and some people are not meant to be maybe at least my lifes fucked up and that because my cognitive capacities got fucked up after being depressed since im   im  now sorry theres not much content in this post but im too apathetic to think of anything rn sorry this doesnt make sense at all i know,3.0
24218,shopping againn  got rong size shoes tho  goin  cinrema wit my niece  hm  ttyl xxx,0.0
24219,lovin summer break  the cmt awards were kinda boring last night ,2.0
24220,comotivation its so hard to be happycalm when i have nothing do because i dont enjoy much my so also has mental issues so its difficult to go out and do stuff when your partner doesnt know what to do either because of motivation its hard being poor as well so we cant just see movies all the time etc it eats me up a lot and try to take naps so i can speed up the daysis there anything we can do,3.0
24221,skool is so borring on the computerrrr  so tirred and very borredd,2.0
24222,rt blingspice lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
24223,rt tonistory i quit my job last month to pursue my mealprep business based out of nj full time one rt can help me pay my bills and calm,1.0
24224,prissy happy anniversary  i was thinking it was about that time three whole years wow  miss you guys enjoy your special day,0.0
24225,ryanseacrest emineme crew gave him some good jabs  poor bruno lmao,0.0
24226,post arrived and with it came some more cards  birthday,0.0
24227,just watched the new moon trailer omg omg omg looks sooo good ,0.0
24228,good night  agh school tomorrow again come on summer youre only a few weeks away ,2.0
24229,waiting for final snl of the season ,2.0
24230,work is so not fun right nowwish i was  the roots picnic   so i guess today im gonna complain about errthing thats irking my life,2.0
24231,laavenus ive got a massive hangover lor and you din pick up when i call you last night again as usual ,2.0
24232,jennas  soo much food and beer guaranteed good time,0.0
24233,boo easter is over and homework is not finished but much revision was ,0.0
24234,depression i feel like ive had a very small form of depression for the last three years most of the time its never really got to me apart from every now and then when i would just sit down and think what is wrong with me and i would only cry about once a month in the past month or so however i feel like its gotten a lot worse and every day i keep thinking if theres any point in me being here if anyone cares will i ever be loved etc i feel fine almost all the time at school but when i come home it hits me like a truck i rarely get suicidal thoughts i just feel im worthless useless and have no point in being where i am if anyone would be so kind as to give me any advice on coping with this i would be very grateful as i have a very shy personality and i dont feel comfortable talking to anyone in person about this,3.0
24235,lasenza should be a little more thorough with their markdowns or mark shit down at all just putting a sign on a bin is useless ,2.0
24236,zoloft infoadvice ive recently been prescribed zoloft and my physician has worked me up to  mg after doing brief internet searches i found that the therauputic dosage doesnt exceed  mg why is that the case and how viable is this information have any of you taken more then  mg and how did it affect you,3.0
24237,oh this sucks  hubby is staying in the us for another whole week he was supposed to be back tomorrow ugh ,2.0
24238,wearing a team india jersey india to score  ,0.0
24239,nooooo not again ,2.0
24240,some guy is makin me call it at night with the twitinnight night ,0.0
24241,please just tell me how to be happy again nothing brings me joy or satisfaction anymore im just here doing things because i have to im frustrated and i just want to feel okay again please tell me how to fix this i just want to feel good again please,3.0
24242,mitchelmusso it wont work in the uk ,2.0
24243,my baby cousin leaves tomorrow for basic training  i miss him already ,2.0
24244,this little kid with blond hair who plays with a toy car why  years later hes a worthless piece of shit,3.0
24245,rt ikefromtheblock ugh why do i stress myself this much 💆🏽‍♂️,2.0
24246,i am so not looking forward to this week too many tests  ♥,2.0
24247,what not to tell therapistcounselor ive considered myself somewhat depressed for a very long time however i was doing very well over the summer and fall but recently have been feeling my emotional state declining again i decided to visit my unis mental health counseling office for firsttime therapy and i felt that by the end they were this 👌 close to having me hospitalizedcommitted because i described a plan for suicide i had made in the past and that was still feasibly an option as i have access to all the same stuff  however i was very clear that i was still doing much better than during the lowest points in my life and i explicitly said i was not actively considering suicide  they were very pushy about me allowing them to contact my family in case of an emergency and they held me for two hours after my appointment with a crisis specialist i feel like i was punished for being honest and open i do intend to try at least one more session but i really really do not want them to take any extreme measures what are the limits to what i can tell them before they feel theyre allowed to take action have i already irreparably had myself labeled as a danger to myself i live in texas if that matters for legal stuff ,3.0
24248,nhycola i dont wanna tlk abt it gonna make me sad  i need a twug,2.0
24249,eyes are tired and sore cant wait for amazingly compfy bed  i will have a good nights sleep,0.0
24250,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
24251,lets talk about love love hugs peace ,0.0
24252,bplusb yes stilletopoor spellingyou never did your www on wenesday ,2.0
24253,thegaydreamer thanks for sharing that very fun i followed ,0.0
24254,packingggg oh and moseying around ,0.0
24255,viksra get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
24256,good afternoon twitterville hope everyone has a beautiful sunday ,0.0
24257,blitzen trapper sound issues  boo,2.0
24258,rahafharfoush congrats on the wonderful book and all the great gigs lined up  we are super excited about it and for you  chat soon,0.0
24259,andygammill what no summer break we were disappointed to find out we dont get one at doe either well try to keep you busy ,0.0
24260,thinks we all need to somehow petition for changing the calendar to include mandatory  weekends ,0.0
24261,back out of l o v e  ha,0.0
24262,i need more followers  im going bed guyssss nighttt xxx,2.0
24263,ok must go to bed now got through first  chapters of ms loving it so far goodnight ,0.0
24264,rt iiishade my anxiety will kill me,1.0
24265,abcddesigns girl you are on fire ,0.0
24266, yea coz she was in us for spinal surgery so she didnt get to see him at sunway ,2.0
24267,hayles aawww awesome u obvoiusly like australia hehe great placewould like to go to uk sometime soon though ,0.0
24268,impalaguy i didn�t want to go like a bull at a gatei�m always a little uncertain when it comes to this topic ,2.0
24269,how do i being to open up to people after my ex shamed me for my depression and left me because she found me to be a burden a few months after being diagnosed my partner of  years left me saying things like its difficult to be around you now because you bring the mood down and often told me that i should stop moping around since then ive often found myself lying to my friends family and therapist about how im doing because im afraid they might also think im a burden i know they all love and support me but i need help silencing the lingering voice of my ex partner ,3.0
24270,andyclemmensen oh my lordy do i envy you ,0.0
24271,jasedahilwidit you called me a hoe ,2.0
24272,have to go to the workhouse in less than  hoursnot happy about that fact ,2.0
24273,tweeps you are all such a pleasant distraction but id better have some discipline and get back to work ,0.0
24274,michaelhotaling thanks for the thoughts unfortunatly it didnt work out like we hoped ah well the paintings were beautiful ,0.0
24275,britttnicole kris allens version of heartless is sick  love it,0.0
24276,how do you deal with the feeling that nothing is entertaining the few shows that worked for me ive watched so many times that its not fun anymore i watched so many hours of howard stern videos and could recite every last word of them id watch king of the hill but cant find it online even daydreaming is boring ive run out of ideas i want to do homework but just cant seem to put in the effort i think video games would be great but i somehow lost a wire to my  and dont have the effort to find iti never even used it i probably spend hours scrolling through my phone not even looking at stuff im so bored that it physically hurts can anyone else relate,3.0
24277,yes dara i am watching tv and falling asleep already   thanks for a nice time yet again,0.0
24278,power back on  just as we were ready to leave now i stuck here for another hour,2.0
24279,shellocalypse get on with your study fool or else you will regret it cramming is awful ,2.0
24280,kenloo yeah posterous is a really cool site i like the way they do email gt posts ,0.0
24281,feels bad for little jedi kids that get killed ,2.0
24282,nikperring to reiterate that theres good people or something to that effect  ,0.0
24283,there are fuzzies going to denfur that i dont get to see muchwould like to meet and its really all the chance i ,0.0
24284,yoitscody okay  night ttyl promise lol,2.0
24285,wish i had corona im a high risk person due to a lung disease i have major depression and have been on all the antidepressants my current flavor of the mood is wellbutrin ive lost all of my family my dog just died in my arms i cant stop eating and feel nothing while trying to fill the void i know its serious but ive failed at suicide my late pup walked in while the scarf was around my neck and i couldnt bare her being alone now that shes gone i dont see the point anymore im too much of a puss to off myself so if corona takes me out and friends dont feel guilty then i figure its the best endgame for this stupid life i hate this world i hate people i am myself and have no problem admitting the world is not better off without me no the world is just the same shit world regardless,3.0
24286,is back in metter about  play a few games of chess ,0.0
24287,summer ,0.0
24288,can my depression chill out for two minutes and give me break sometimes i dont have the energy to deal with it  ,2.0
24289,rt ilooklikelilbil ilovesmokingmid hope she sees this one bro its getting kinda sad,1.0
24290,brittanyiare j was there and  i was ,2.0
24291,jboomboompow wud up doe ,0.0
24292,im depressed and i need some help ive been with the same guy for  years on and offweve had a fucked up relationship but hes all i had my whole life  my whole family is messed up  i dont barely have anyone anyways i recently found out hes been stealing my bras and other peoples bras and doing some weird dirty stuff with them and i obviously freaked out  i am so grossed out i dont even understand  i cant believe hes been doing this and i had to find it all out on my own i knew something weird was going on and i always asked him and he never told me  i am such an understanding person and i dont judge but when someone keeps something so huge from me i feel sick and i dont know what to do he swore he stopped and he got help for it and i know i didnt believe it was fully gone i knew he was still lying about it  you cant just stop some weird fetish like that in  sessions of counseling like he said he did  i went back to him turns out im pregnant for the first time with himamp i found out hes been hiding stuff again  and i am so upset i dont even know if i want this baby because of thisthe only thing he cares about is if i tell anyone he doesnt care about the child or how i feel from being betrayed or how hes lied or anythingi just had to share my story because now i have no one and im stuck sitting here so upset  i dont know what to do,3.0
24293,i have to be at work at  but i cant bring myself to fall asleep  im kind of lonely right now  ,2.0
24294,dead gt asleep gt fucked up i mostly wanna be dead but if i cant be that then id rather be sleeping and if i have to be awake then i wanna be drunk or fucked up somehow i just never fuckin asked to be here but here i am so fuckin goddamn i guess ill try to not be miserable,3.0
24295,nerve injury cant do what i love anymore i played a bunch of a video game that had me jamming my thumb into the joystick for long periods and i was really depressed at the time so i kept playing even though it hurtnow im a lot healthier and stopped gaming for a while to figure my life out since i noticed video games were a distraction in essence i needed to limit them and sort out my life and life direction well now months later i realize i have nerve damage from that period when i played and cant go back to play ive looked up online for fixes like surgery or something but there doesnt seem to be anythingi was looking forward so much to being able to play cod and halo and smash bros with my friends again later in my life in healthier amounts now i realize all of that is gone nothing else ive ever done has made me feel alive hobbies wise and i felt like these games just lined up perfectly with how i work and like to interact with something for funi can just feel my depression coming back like all the effort was for nothing because at the end of the day now the end goal hobby has been stripped from me im so sad right now i loved those games and now i cant do any of them and i feel like such an idiot like an athlete who didnt watch his body and broke his back and cant do anything anymore whats even the point now,3.0
24296,rt yoonhanb its kinda sad how new buddies come each era excited wanting to support gfriend but at the same time there are ppl who leave,0.0
24297,i have no idea why i do this when its clear you just dont care anymore zim going to sleep ,2.0
24298,need a little encouragement  if you ask me for a letter i will write you one and mail it to youin todays day and age we are surrounded by technology but nothing beats the oldfashioned handwritten letter often times we find ourselves in tough situations when we can use a pickmeup if you feel like you need a bit of encouragement just ask ill write you a letter,3.0
24299,rt mickywhitenv marijuana industry literally wants to be taxedin a state that desperately needs revenue for public schools m ,2.0
24300,hell yeah gdk a mutation that was then made to mutate even some more originally only  ear curled now  do its tmnt all over again ,0.0
24301,are my parents requirements fair long story short ive had bad depression and anxiety for years and my parents have been trying to help im in therapy i exercise i meditate but im still not getting betterso because im still living with my parents while i go to college my mom gives me random requirements like having to watch a movie with my parents or having to eat dinner with them and not go up to my room even when i ask to be alone when im feeling fine i have no objection but my parents basically my mom still require this when im feeling really shitty and just need to be alone as long as i live under their roof they require things like this but i dont think they actually help i understand where theyre coming from but i dont feel better being around people when im feeling horrible at least when im in the middle of feeling emotional i dont know i feel kind of pathetic even writing this but i dont know if these are healthy boundaries im  i need to move out but im very unstable lately and dont know what would happen if i were living alone,3.0
24302,toxiccupcakecxc hey no tweeting amp driving right xplosivecxc  ,0.0
24303,dell mini  is on the way  yiiiippppiiiieee,0.0
24304,happy mothers day to all the twitter moms sent my own mom a very sleepy video by phone and called after ,0.0
24305,just got back frm tasha wedding ,0.0
24306,i dont know whats happening anymore i have been on antidepressants for the past few months and even when i think all is going well and they are working life just comes crashing down it just makes me feel hopeless since it feels like there is no point in being happy just to miss it,3.0
24307,rt  realdonaldtrump president obama presided over eight quarters in total with growth over  percent including four over  p,0.0
24308,awesome beer pong party at my house in the yard tonight  going in when the sun is rising is officially ba,0.0
24309,back to square one i really thought i had it beat this time but i guess not im on  mg of lexapro and ive been taking it since december which i had hoped wouldve helped more but lately it feels useless im also going to therapy but thats yet to do much for me yet but ill hold out in the hopes that soon ill experience some sort of changeschool has been awful i keep skipping classes because id rather sleep or because im just too lazy which brings up the idea that maybe im not depressed just lazy regardless i have nothing but contempt for myself and i just feel like im near the end of my life like every time i think about something negative i just think well on the bright side i wont be alive soon so whatever its fucking scary i dont want to kill myself but i legitimately feel broken beyond repair and nonexistence sounds so appealing im a shitty friend a shitty student a shitty son a shitty brother and i struggle to see why i should even continue literally all i wanted was to be normal but its probably impossible im  and i have literally no redeeming qualities nothing worth fighting for id blame my parents for being shit but im alone now and its my responsibility to bear for being such a garbage personi keep drinking alcohol i buy from a friend and smoking and it looks like im gonna end up just like my fucking dad he was an alcoholic he was a chain smoker he was never able to express himself emotionally because of some masculine bullshit why do i do this to myself i just look at myself in disbelief at how fucking stupid i am like im in control of myself so why the fuck do i do this he died a few years ago from a construction working accident and it still feels like it was yesterday but regardless i dont know if i hate him or love him and its driving me insanei dont know why im posting this because from the outside i probably look like a fucking brat who cant do anything for himself which is probably true but no one else knows this side of me and i need to at least get it out somehow ,3.0
24310,cant you be happy in the place you were born dont you think your family loves you the mostive been wanting to move out of country for over a decade and the mother drops this on me during the last month of uni while knowing i deal with motivation and depression issues thanks for being a class a jerk,3.0
24311,addiction im addicted and i just cant get enough,3.0
24312,no blankies at gold class anymore  oh well my wife will keep me warm,2.0
24313,pixiesongs sounds good  looking forward to seeing it and you  not long now   hours ,0.0
24314,kevinjonas is the best  happy kevinjonas day ,0.0
24315,rt motheroflust  this is the best way to relieve stress   ,0.0
24316,mattownsyoface gives you churro ,0.0
24317,were just a collection of atoms particles attachedrearrange them what difference does it make,3.0
24318,afinefrenzy hey wanted to ask you for a few days now is it my crazy twitter or is your picture actually green ,2.0
24319,sitting at the audi joburg fashion week casting so many lanky people in one place almost  lol good luck to everyone  xx,0.0
24320,bryanricard haha i hope so i need one  lol type in pink zebraprint lol not just pink zebras there are no such thing,2.0
24321,dagdag mo na malaya akala kung di lang rin ikaw sige hahahhaha suicide na hahahhaha charot,2.0
24322,stomach ache ahhhhhh ,2.0
24323,struggling to complete my education these past few weeks have been hell depressionwise im not suicidal anymore like i used to but im highly demotivated i have no energy and im in a deep pit of loneliness on the daily every time i try to talk about my loneliness with someone they try to blame me for it so i keep quiet about it it doesnt stop the pain thoughive applied for university but at this rate i wont end up going i spent  full weeks out of sixth form college and ive gotten so far behind its overwhelming theres long long periods of time at college when im just surrounded by loads of people joking around and having fun while im just sat on my phone doing nothing i wish i had friends my family members and even my college mental health advisor we dont have counsellors in college because apparently its not the colleges problem if you have mental health issues say my social skills are fine so whats wrong with me why do i have to be cursed with this godforsaken disability called aspergers syndromei could quit college now but where would i go do i even have the skills for any job i dont want to stay with my mum either as shes really unsupportive i feel so alone and i dont know what to do im going to be an actual unironical basement dweller at this rate,3.0
24324,my depression is endless im pushing everyone out of my life and yet i act like i dont deserve to feel this way i just dont know what to be anymore ive given up on who i wanted to be and now i just try not to think about what im becoming im so embarrased of myself i cant even look people in the eyes anymore ive become a stranger to each person whos ever cared for me those who know me think i still have a job and a good life im living a fucking liei regret every big life decision ive made in the last decade i wasted my youth stressing over bullshit that doesnt even matter my anxiety never rests i feel like an alien when im around normal people i cant act natural im fidgeting and looking everywhere i make myself uncomfortable  im so awkward unattractive and most importantly boring im so unredeeming it truly feels like no one will ever care about me and yet i have so much love to give i dont care about sex or looks i just want someone to hold and love someone who i can trust someone who i can cuddle at night and wake up next to someone to travel with and someone to be with while we seclude ourself from all the other people but theres no one for me ive only ever had one real relationship that ended  years ago and yet im still heartbroken i still think about her every week i feel like ill never recover and honestly thats what depresses me the most this hole that im in its only getting deeper im only getting worseall throughout my teenage years i always been depressed deep down but the true clinical depression has been constant for  fucking years everyone and every website said i would be better by now depression is clinically proven if the symptoms persist for a minimum of  weeks im at  fucking years why cant i just be happy with my miserable existence i want to dig myself out of this hell but im sinking,3.0
24325,almost time for aimees birthday dinner cant wait to see u ladies ,0.0
24326,rt lolimunioz tetass pero bue se supera ahre q no se supera un choto sad ,2.0
24327,first time seeking therapy psychologist or psychiatrist this is my first time finally seeking to speak with a therapist after living with depression for over a decade when i booked my appointment over the phone for a psychologist i didnt realize until looking at my upcoming appointments that i was booked to see a psychiatrist does it matter not that im opposed to medication my preconceived notions tell me that a psychiatrist will just try to medicate me whereas a psychologist with try starting with other methods thoughts,3.0
24328,percussionpanda its saying i dont have access to that page   i think the only way we can see it is if you publish it,2.0
24329,made a big step went to the doctors today generally feeling good that i went to the doctors today  i was so nervous to go but it was a big step for me to be so open about it and genuinely tell them how i was feeling  i got prescribed a light medication and i begin taking it tomorrow i already feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after procrastinating for so long but im really happy i went today,3.0
24330,artswales hi there the penny just droped ha never noticed moonlake until now but i cant get the blog to work on wwwartswalescouk ,0.0
24331,mandie is excited coz i just got a job in child care yay lets celabrate ,0.0
24332,idk what to expect for this phone screening tomorrowwill it be an interview or will it be a short phone call httpstcoudzifteuwr,0.0
24333,goebicyu thank you very much for the follow i have refollowed you also ,0.0
24334,marielenh i stoped watching it  i miss the scotish guy cutter,2.0
24335,ngg i hate showers when its cold ,2.0
24336,i need a friend somebody to chat with would nice im a normal guy just lonely and leaving for the military soon animal pics are always welcome msg me for my ig,3.0
24337,very good night except for the end  now watching i am sam with rachel and tarynnn goodnight ,2.0
24338,matthewproy well i also got a letter saying my apr is going up  so i guess not,2.0
24339,what are your opinions on lego crippling depression blossom wooflywaffles saxasan  ,1.0
24340,mikeyway   awwwwwwwwwwww soo cute lllli lovee you an aliciaa  sorry  my english ,2.0
24341,its party time only this time a real party is involved ,0.0
24342,xmonyurinex i finished my math homework i have to take a test tomorrow though ,2.0
24343,rt belinatooo  você sabia que aroma de lavanda reduz sintomas de stress ansiedade depressão e solidão  eu ,2.0
24344,itslindsaylohan i love ur tattoo  quotthe parent trapquot is my fave movie of all time,0.0
24345,dax austins friend just left i swear i feel like i just lost a son  gonna miss the boy,2.0
24346,unable to find joy in my hobbies im not looking for help and im not looking for advice i just want to rant here for a momenti wouldnt be able to give you a time frame of how long i have been depressed im not entirely sure myself how i usually deal with it is to fill my attention with something i love like most of you for nearly  years thats been video games among other less notable things recently ive noticed that i cant even force myself to play anything for more than an hour or  whereas i used to be able to play for  hours on end i find myself constantly bored of everything that would normally bring me some level of entertainment ive quit any card games i once played because i cant seem to enjoy them anymore video games no longer give me any happiness and the list goes on even smoking weed seems to be losing its value to me it just seems like theres nothing left to occupy my mind its as if everything is being torn away from me and i will be left with nothing but the thoughts ive tried so desperately to escape i have no idea how to deal with the fact that the things i love the most can no longer bring me happiness rant over,3.0
24347,ashleytmason hes currently the bmw test driver has been for nearly  years now  hes also been driving for peugeot ,0.0
24348,a cold shower was soo nice and refreshing today ,0.0
24349,jon and kate are gettig a divorce  too bad they didnt even consider counsling,2.0
24350,how to cope with anxiety  ,2.0
24351,i dont know where to start ive never been this bad im starting to accept the possibility that im depressed it feels like the last  years are crashing onto me i have rape trauma i ran myself into a gang banger who got me into drugs and addicted to meth all because i thought he made me feel safe and then dropped out of college he stole thousands of dollars from me and cheated on me ive been  year sober since then my insecurities and anxiety have skyrocketed since then ive fallen in love to a good man and gotten married and i have a  month old daughter now but he is in the military and away until a good couple months from now i very often feel im not good enough im in disgust with myself physically from before for features and flaws i could never change and even more now after pregnancy and fear all the time he will leave me for someone better or leave me because im never happy ive lost all interests in everything i used to love and have just outgrown them i have no time to even play games and live an hour away from all my friends so no one comes to visit i talk to no one every day and i cant leave the house with a baby so young im stuck with my own thoughts and judgements  i cant do anything but overthink or just think about how awful i feel about myself or how sad i am all the time its really hard for me to not talk to my husband about how awful i feel especially because he is my best friend but i feel like he probably doesnt talk to me much because im just so sad all the time i dont know what else to talk about other than how awful i feel and im so afraid he will leave me for being like this im afraid of everything ive ever feared with being not good enough and i dont even love myself every day is so much harder and i dont know how to make myself feel better in the slightest if i hold in talking to my husband i feel awful and i just want him to know how i feel but when i tell him all these things i know he feels hopeless and it gets old very fast i cant get therapy now because i currently live with my parents until im reunited with myhusband my parents are not mental health friendly and if i tell them anything or even try to talk about any of these things they tell me im being dramatic and shouldnt fee this way or suck it up if i get therapy which i have in the past for my trauma i get very much ridiculed on a daily basis for it which just makes everything so much harderim going crazy not being able to talk to anyone everyday or feel good all i do is watch tv or browse social media in between taking care of my daughter and fake nice interactions with my parents i have no hobbies anymore and if i did id hardly even have time for it i really dont know what to do or where to startplease i want help i cant wait until months from now for things to be a little better because id be with my husband or to seek help i have a routine to keep up with hygiene i brush my teeth every day skin care shower and get dressed but all the empty space in between everything and my thoughts just make every single day so heavy and dreadful to get through what do i do please what do i do i need something,3.0
24352,i really hate having bug bite i have never been biten so bad in my life they had to give my antibiotices  not fun and i ich like crazy,2.0
24353,blast my ipod is busted  i guess ive been needing an excuse to get a new one,2.0
24354,the moon is soooo bright tonight definitely a werewolf moon i better get my little wolves inside so no one blames any attacks on them ,0.0
24355,ezekielspeaking i saw hahaha wow ,0.0
24356,sheetaljaitly alright it would be pretty cool if they did though ill keep my fingers crossed ,0.0
24357,today has not had a good start but i think itll get better im hopeful ,0.0
24358,love going  church on sunday morning especially when its sunny and  ,0.0
24359,fuck it im killing myself tomorrow morning,3.0
24360,it rained today  more like a mini storm went to town with cullenfanchloe now watching twighlight,2.0
24361,the line at the ladies room is longer than the line  get into the staple center ,2.0
24362,bryanyoung  my ustream chat isnt working ,2.0
24363,blossomend rot in my tomato plants  tomato fruits down for the count so far ,2.0
24364,watching eastenders while suffering from the flu grrrrrr why is it possible to get a cold in summer  ,2.0
24365,im tired im degraded by peers at school constantly harassed outside of home and school im degraded by my grandparents for who i am and im exhausted i want to feel loved and happy im tired of this pain its exhausting and im done with it,3.0
24366,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
24367,special birthday tomorrow ,0.0
24368,rt nimhgov for menshealthmonth its important to know the basics of mentalhealth conditions like depression amp how to help ,0.0
24369,tokiodolce  really,0.0
24370,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
24371,failure to launch ,0.0
24372,is coming up with sooo many plans for his music now through augustno one will be dissapointed i am so excited ,0.0
24373,rt florrsantoss fua re sad estuve hoy,2.0
24374,my heart is shattered and i feel like dying ive been battling with depression for as long as i can remember im  years old and ive already tried committing suicide  times last night was one of those times you see i found myself trapped in the most dangerous and risky place one can be inwhich is love ive been a relationship with this girl for  months  doesnt sound long but if you invest so much love into one person it can feel like an eternityshe broke up with me last night it was the least unexpected thing i couldve imagined i couldnt stop crying my whole body started shaking and i started hyperventilating from a shortness of breath and thats when i decided to take  sleeping pills i have overdosed before so this was nothing new to me but here i am still alive talking to god knows who would want to read this post but apparently talking to strangers helps so ill seeright now it feels like the world has ended i dont know what im going to do with my life because this girl was the only person who gave me the will to live how did you cope with this please i just need someone to talk to during this dark time of my life,3.0
24375,anyone here deal with physical pain and exhaustion hi im pretty new to depression although i know anxiety very well unfortunately as of late my anxiety has worsened and it has sent me into some sort of depression the only way i know to describe it is feeling like death no motivation nothing making me happy constantly on the verge of tears if not crying and no appetite i actually had a horrible panic attack that sent me to the er the other night and they ran a series of blood tests ekg urine tests etcand could find nothing but this physically hurts my legs feel weak i feel so emotional and feel like ive all but given up do these sound like depression i cant seem to snap out of it this has been going on for about  weeks now and everyday i hope to wake up feeling better but its just not happening im already on zoloft and xanax as needed for panic anyone else ever experience really physical depression that makes you feel almost like you have the flu or something,3.0
24376,i feel lonely sad and depressed title pretty much states its all havent been able to pull my self out of this rut havent had good luck with any women and im in an environment that doesnt help i feel like i shouldnt be depressed but i really am,3.0
24377,jeremyrowe you would say that ,0.0
24378,being sick really blows  ,2.0
24379, thats crazy tall haha whats up ,0.0
24380,happy birthday erika maxene i love you little sister ,0.0
24381,i cant believe banana baby food would have that kind of effect on a  olds digestive system peeeeeeeeeu ,2.0
24382,ohmommy yes ,0.0
24383,heading to home depot to get some supplies for updating a bunch of home stuff ill post some pictures later   happy sunday,0.0
24384,its time to put the feet up and catch up on smallvilleyesits turned into one of those sundays ,0.0
24385,pulled weeds trimmed the bushes and mowed the lawn now time to relax ,0.0
24386,i think this is the first time ive had  new tweets and you guys have posted them in under  hours lots of interesting reading ,0.0
24387,adccfighter resist the ribs go for a turkey burger chicken breast or fish instead ,0.0
24388,i have got my athletic exam at  am ,0.0
24389,rawreli good luck hope all goes well ,0.0
24390,chuck me mondays hashtags please use chuckmemondays and chuck in each of your tweets today during the viewing hours pass it around ,0.0
24391,weather is so nice and pleasant today dil garden garden ho gaya perfect romantic weather ,2.0
24392,digsby we love digsby i dont have any contact info for you guys tho dm me an email and ill get you some issues ,0.0
24393,colorblindfish we so did crash it blockheads are known for crashing sites ,0.0
24394,rt chiiivlbes mental health is a serious issue,2.0
24395,tswizz i love your new canvas ,0.0
24396,good bye guys my first and last post today is the day im going away forever im eating my last meal at waffle house because it what i wanted then im driving home and blowing my brains out i love you all and hope you dont meet the same fate i do it gets better at some point or so ive been told but not for me my demons are too much at this point i love you all and truly hope the best ,3.0
24397, sounds fun  i cant wait to go to zante i think its gunna be realy good ,0.0
24398,that fire drill made me angry and hungry ,2.0
24399,littlefurybug ah yay good to hear  and yup melting skittles youd be surprised haha  x,0.0
24400,missed the itouch i was deprived of internet today  had a fun day though lots to watch on star movies ,0.0
24401,ebassman cu ,0.0
24402,rt britkaaaa good news everyone barbie just solved depression ,0.0
24403,jeromea taytaybulls told me button was in the country a few years back  and no one paid attention  he was still with mild seven daw,2.0
24404, yuh post to be my boo  ,2.0
24405,recipe for havoc use some magic numbers quotaddquot some arithmetic make inconsistentincomplete changes to the code base gt done ,2.0
24406,hethertoncessed  yay want me to update bib bib lol ,0.0
24407,s  year family cat papa is getting put down this week  wtf is up did someone put a curse on me this month man oh man,2.0
24408,greatrock ahhhhh thought it was normally plain old spunk but  bike deserves something exotic i guess ,0.0
24409,steamrunner and vivyouell like it always wanted to be king of rohan ,0.0
24410,needs a nap in the boom boom room working on  hrs of sleep is no bueno ,2.0
24411,got some cool freebies  now off to bed to get up at  for another damn doctor appointment  ,2.0
24412, are you sure its mayberry sr and not a random fan from the stands ,0.0
24413,mickipedia youve now experienced what its like to be a guy every day of our lives ,2.0
24414,took full advantage of vip free drink bracelets last nightcant wait for juslisen tonight groovin to old styles hiphoprnbbringgg ittt ,0.0
24415,awesometie i know i wanna download some songs and videos but its like i searched for something like half an hour ago and its not done ,2.0
24416,hopewaldorf wowwww your so lucky i would love to live in america its been my dream for like years lool and england ,2.0
24417,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
24418,am gonna finish assigs today finally not all though ,2.0
24419, hed have been more than welcome to come along ,0.0
24420,coruscating thanks  ill probably remake a better version later,0.0
24421,you belong with me  taylor swift  on hot  ,0.0
24422, why did i not see you this morning ,2.0
24423,rt stampstigma thank you all for making this such an amazing mental health awareness month lets keep the conversation going thou ,0.0
24424,i am already cracking open the study chocolate it is going to be a long week ,2.0
24425, that was really mean even though i think your joking it will be in the back of my mind so what really no cylons ,0.0
24426,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
24427,rt beyondbrokendep depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die,1.0
24428,justinewalshe i know i have been blocking since i signed on ,2.0
24429,i have so much anxiety right now i hate it,1.0
24430,loves her bff very much ,2.0
24431,rt lenahernandez i loooove my sad playlists,2.0
24432,sakiviolet moring to you  this is a nice time to wake up xd,0.0
24433,rt aliceavizandum doctor just whatever you do dont go see that asshole pagliacci he looks like he has depression as bad as you do ga,1.0
24434,tinamarielopes its sad that we already have our costumes planned out lmaooooo,2.0
24435,the sun is shining and im stuck doing revision ,2.0
24436,i have a sunburn ,2.0
24437,bye carlos tevez  cant believe hes gone im gutted ,2.0
24438,its my  birthday ,0.0
24439,one group of pictures finally uploaded ,0.0
24440,ddotrock my friends forced it back on my tv someone filmed it in their cousins apt amp the hood bar amp kept callin a jeepcherokee a hummer ,2.0
24441,rt mooncacti when my anxiety kicks in httpstcotgxpdjtttq,2.0
24442,jamieandlouise it has been known  well have to have a biggest been competition ,0.0
24443,working with a manager in another division for a while he wants me to keep a work log spread sheet boo  i should prob tweet less then,2.0
24444,flyestofthemall im not a track star im the star of track  boom lol but yes idk its a pain i never felt  ,2.0
24445, aww thanks baby love u and miss u ima try to have fun but itd hard since your not here ,2.0
24446,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
24447,heading to bed everyone goodnight ,0.0
24448,you aint neva met nobody flyy like mei aint just talkin dis wat i stand for an independent chick who be stackin them bank rollz  ,0.0
24449,jfc it needs to be the  i will have been graduated and i ended up getting awesome hookups for ftsk and rocket so excited ,0.0
24450,pancakeslikeme i miss you too ,2.0
24451,my boyfriend amp i share locations cause his bitch ass disappears for hours without telling me and i have anxiety so httpstcotegxlkpbhx,2.0
24452,selenagomez aaaaah yer in tronto why didnt anyone tell megt  ,2.0
24453,getting ready for  elections  federer vs söderling my heart is blue with a yellow stripe cross shape this week end ,0.0
24454,feel like i cant breathe ive had multiple depression and anxiety disorders for most of my life im used to most of it two days ago the owner of the company i work for whom ive never met completely wiped not only my schedule but my entire account from the work system nobody even had the decent to tell me i was let go only thing that happened was i was late two days prior because of a flat tire i let them know in advance i got written up for being late repeatedly i was not repeatedly late the day before the write up i let a manager know i would be possibly late because of traffic as luck has it i was not late at all i was actually two minutes early no one has called to let me know ive been let go the only manager who answered the phone told me he doesnt know whats going on and has since refused to return my callson top of all that im practically broke my van is broke down and now i cant even help my mom that i dont live with with her bills my life went to a deeper layer of hell over something i had no control over and guess what the cherry on top is the vehicle i borrowed from my not so nice to keep it short father has decided to shit out on me overnight not the battery or alternator wont start i dont have the cash to pay for diagnostics much less a repairi dont know what the point of this post is this isnt even a quarter of my problems i dont know what i expect out of this i dont know what to do i dont have anywhere to go i have no one to help my only   friends would rather get fucked up play video games or be miserable with an so that treats them like shit to be there for me im not sure if i have the strength to keep going i cant breathe even between the panic attacks not even gonna use a throwaway because fuck it whats the pointedit sorry for any formatting fuck ups on mobile so i did the best i could ,3.0
24455,going to bed finally some rest ,0.0
24456,mjcp did you consider that he might be more concerned that youre tweeting a photo of each course ,0.0
24457,i think ive lost my mind ive sat at work depressed and alone i thought about suicide i thought about work life my divorce or separation or i have no clue whats going on words of pain kept resonating with my inner voice telling me im garbage and to do it therapy costs way too much and im already taking meds for my depression but about an hour ago i felt my head snap with a severe headache pain and now i feel really good i laughed at stupid things online and im feeling goofy just like how i used to be back in college like my old selfim sure this is just shock or my depression messing with me but honestly i could care less about everything and anything maybe im denial,3.0
24458,rt rebreakingnews weak pathetic people mental health therapists say trump anxiety disorder on the risehttpstcoomlkvwouvu,0.0
24459,i have new ink  tattoo nd definately my fave  tattoo artist  tattoo ,0.0
24460,long day in the er today article on vets in higher ed almost done really need more chill time in my schedule no time for a run today ,2.0
24461,rt saraashcraft uselogic why would a c i a psyop be vocally exposing the c i a thingsthatmakenosense you hangryhangryhivites really n,1.0
24462,best thing that could happen to you right now whats the best thing that could happen to you at the momentperfect thing that could happen to me right now is someone walking in through my door and talking to me getting to know me asking me how i feel and exchanging our life stories,3.0
24463,way out there on proton radio  playing now dont forget to tune in  httpbitlyrxkrk,0.0
24464,tsparks sure  that could be fun,0.0
24465,okay sooo i watched gilmore girlsthen i did computer stuff then i showered i kind of skipped over reading and runningoops ,0.0
24466,mgiraudofficial quotwill it go round in circlesquot by billy preston would be a great song for you enjoy ,0.0
24467,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
24468,school tomorrow will be fun ,0.0
24469,pieshopgirl right now someone needs to spoon feed me recovering from a nasty spider bite feel sick amp drugged  the same time ,2.0
24470,unbelievable  year anniversary today i feel old now  ,0.0
24471,its a sad day  missing my mom ,2.0
24472,m  feel like i am faking my depression i think i am depressed but i dont know for sure i have been self harming on a daily basis and ive been having suicidal thoughts almost all the time but i think im faking it because people always says that you cant be depressed if you are ,3.0
24473,jgdemas yeh i am todayhahaha not feeling myself today ,2.0
24474,had a fun night ,0.0
24475,is craviiing ,2.0
24476,i was doing okay for a long time but today was a really tough day in trying to change my life im forcing myself to do things go out do stuff dont just sit in home im trying to be social talk with people and im doing alright i think most of the time but i dont really have friends no one really likes me like im the friend who just is there i dont know i feel like i dont fit anywhere and even when i want to go somewhere even alone the universe is against me so again im sitting in home wondering if it wont be offending if i start conversation first again with one of two people who want to speak with me i just felt so bad today my birthday are coming and im thinking how quickly this year has past and it was a terrible year for many reasons for me but i got through it but today i feel like im going to be alone forever im sorry i just wanted to get this off my chest it probably doesnt even have sense,3.0
24477,pitxi yep i saw it it says add your bank account but i also dont have one ,2.0
24478,crazieger yup and the boss agreed to let us have  full hour in the snow ,0.0
24479,struggling to work with rude customers i havent been able to get a job because of anxiety and depression for the longest time i finally got one and i work at a makeup store so of course theres tons of entitled old women ive only been working there a week but today i pissed a customer off so she was rude to me and my manager insulted my makeup i did without giving any constructive criticism i know this is an over reaction but honestly it depressed me deeply and the rest of my shift i was fantasizing about killing my self i got home and cried and now im just laying in my bed wishing i never had to go back it sucks so much because i want to be able to work and i really need money but my mental state cant handle working because the second i mess up or someones rude to me i become suicidal i feel like im hopeless and ill never be able to function like an adult i was so excited for this job too because i thought i had finally found something i could enjoy but my dreams were thoroughly crushed after working there just a few days realizing how awful the customers can be i just wish i didnt have to be an adult,3.0
24480, okdidnt sleep welldef will need a nap later but have to deal with some things firstgloomy here this morning ,2.0
24481,sittin around not doing much kind of bored ,2.0
24482,one of my favorite people just told me that my stories taste like chocolate  i  you trish,0.0
24483,oubad have a great trip ,0.0
24484,that feeling when you cant even get out of bed and you have to be the ones to support everyone being a teen and having gone through shit and then going through therapy and medication is rough as shit man especially when you have the weight of everyone on your shoulders and cant even support yourself,3.0
24485,rt baldboyblues this is what my mental health looks like right now httpstcodochfilxfy,0.0
24486,alexandrastack no  its for being a nerd    if were still in tha tmaths class then we do vce in yr  it sounds lyk fun,2.0
24487,work is always at an all time high when a vacation is near ,2.0
24488,eboniife lol i feel you i just paid my dues for my  year reunion a few minutes ago im getting old  ,2.0
24489,i hate it when my friends fly because i probably get more anxiety than they do,1.0
24490,woot woot getting a paid account on livejournal liiffeee is goood and my mommy is awesome ,0.0
24491,rt nintendoushio anytime youre sad please just watch charles martinet interviewsive met this man twice and can confirm that he reall,0.0
24492,alechosterman we could only be so lucky ,0.0
24493,hiimyasmin aww still no voice ,2.0
24494,my life is over im just making excuses to keep living my mind has been torn to shreds my family hates me the government hates me my neighbors hate me my classmates hate me my coworkers hate me everyone hates me i cant find a single damn person on this entire planet who would want to help me i failed college i failed my job i failed suicide ive failed all of my options and im running out of timemy brain is shutting down i cant think or talk or drive or do anything that i used to be able to do my body is shutting down and the worst part is that i cant even kill myself i dont have the courage to do even that right im a coward thats all i am,3.0
24495,skitzsodadoc chillin in tn a few more daysmiami is def the best place  return  after traveling right  u in la,0.0
24496,dchetty love sa cause we got our soccer  cricket an rugby teams in action this week  if we win all we are legends,0.0
24497,crystal jade shrimp dumplings were less satisfying than how i imagined them to be  taste buds feel disappointment too,2.0
24498,i think anthonyjeselnik wouod be very upset with this headline it should read murder httpstcogbxvhykfjv,1.0
24499,happy to be coming back to nyc office ,0.0
24500,neohippie wish it was rainingjust cloud cover ,2.0
24501,anthonylewry haha i know thanks for the tips and advice and thangs  i appreciate that im alright just having the late night blahs haha,0.0
24502,omfg i have to run  miles and ride with bike  miles im going to die ,2.0
24503,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
24504,emotional pain unbearable going through a divorce having a hard time coping im uncomfortable in my skin i am dealing with the shock of it the rejection by a loved one it is as if i dont know my wife how could she do this after close to  years together i lost my soul mate my best friend i cant reconcile it i dont know when my heart will mend or what to do to cope with the pain,3.0
24505,vote twilight for best movie i wish ryan and rachel were nominated for something  thats where they had their famous kiss ,2.0
24506,work work work all day long work work work so i can get my degree  ,0.0
24507,wii fit told me i was obese ,2.0
24508,back from a parents evening  twas okay though,2.0
24509,hoptonhousebnb its incredible that people still dont realise their website is their hotelbampbbusiness etc mind you keeps me in work ,0.0
24510,is sitting at work wondering how much she made today   wanna go home ,2.0
24511,starting to build a new page for the site to include twitter more followers please ,0.0
24512,terranaomi some tweeples getting too much for you tn  x,2.0
24513,cleanin and preppin gettin ready for another weekan apparently quotgquotless one ,0.0
24514,i have a very upset tummy ,2.0
24515,cfjamesallen yeah i know what you mean bums you out eh that said its actually easier to concentrate on work when its not sunny ,0.0
24516,⚠️⚠️self harm⚠️⚠️ i used to self harm myself by using any sharp thing i could find but it wouldnt bleed i now use a razor and it bleeds a lot i feel like it makes me feel better because i sometimes feel like im not worth it does anybody know replacements for self harm or how to stop it  im also here to talk to people,3.0
24517,on the road again maybe listening to some jonas brothers will make it go by faster  lets hope,0.0
24518,home sick  should catch up on an assignment,2.0
24519,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
24520,paulscheer im seeing nothing but bad reviews on year one doesnt it strue but still i havent read any  good ones ,2.0
24521, poor digger he is just doing his job ,2.0
24522,watching white chicks ,0.0
24523,i need to get something off my chest  a cry for help and an askreddit thread got me thinking about this it may not be the root of all of my issues but it huge contributor the thread was how do you know youre not a person with a severe mental disability who is just being treated nicely by everyone because they pity youthis was my responcegt oh dear god this is my innermost insecurity and biggest fear and the root to my many many problemsgt gt i was born with a speech impediment and struggle with adhd growing up i was bullied relentlessly at school and abused by an older brother at home i have major selfconfidence issues and struggled with depression all my lifegt gt through out grade school i was put in special education classes because of my difficulty speaking and adhd but i was often lumped in with kids who were profoundly handicapped with autism or down syndrome so people thought i was like these kids just by being in same classes as themgt gt i always have this voice in my head that says that i am broken it gets in the way of every aspect of my life because i cannot break myself out of this thinking im  years old only recently got my drivers license and got a job that i can realistically live off of but i still live with my parents because i struggle to manage my own money i never had a girlfriend and i have had no friends since high school because i am constantly isolating myself and extremely uncomfortable around other people because i am afraid they can see how much of a disgusting fucking mess i amgt gt worst of all i dont know how to fucking fix iti am taking meds but its only helping my anxiety,3.0
24524,iminlovewithmj im ok thank you ,0.0
24525,soooo many french toast sticks ,0.0
24526,whateverista just sheer bigotry i think scum the poor romanians must be terrified ,2.0
24527,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
24528,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
24529,new cell phone  yay,0.0
24530,choochoobear i still have my favorite toy  a stuffed puppy named oscar ,0.0
24531,i pushed away everyone and now im all alone ive been distant from everyone in my life for months and now ive lost them,3.0
24532,tiffanypollard hey hey miss your show being on tv over in the uk please let there be an i love new york   much love x,0.0
24533,bleh packing is no fun ,2.0
24534,i had a great idea to celebrate my mom and is  anniversary together by getting a cake but she didnt wanna celebrate ,2.0
24535,looking for advice hi i dont want to seem insensitive to anyone on here because i know this is a serious mental illness but im in college and got dumped by my gf a month ago this is the first girl ive dated in years because ive got my heart broken before and i thought she was the one she would talk about living together and having kids and picking out kid names and then out of nowhere she ended it without warning or any type of sign that our relationship was failing since then ive had this overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness that hits me like a truck that makes me just want to lay in bed and stare at the wall all day some days i feel happy others i just want it to stop im not suicidal but sometimes i would do anything to make this feeling of sadness to go away is this what depression is like,3.0
24536,doesnt want to apply for a job at tescos  has it really come to this,2.0
24537,theboicombs wingstop i cant go that far 😂 but i know😩 they said for a while idk what that means but im sad,2.0
24538,last night i relapsed like bad  all i have to say is that the fact i realized it was all stupidinsignificant means im growing ahhhhh,2.0
24539,my depression hiive been dealing with depression since i was a child ive known it for a while but didnt know how to ask for help or if i even needed itsince i was in my mid  ive been on meds and going to a psychologistim unsure if its normal to still have swings i want to be a better partner to my so hes very supportive and understandingjust wanting outside perspective for helping my so deal with me and my swings i finally love and accept myself i found my so after i loved myself but want to help him know about the swings of mental illness and if there is anything that can be done to help us copethank you i appreciate the read and any help,3.0
24540,danieldececco boo i cant believe thats happening and im missing it on account of school ,2.0
24541,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
24542,just woke up  went to bed at  last night and woke up at  school tomorrow though  dont wanna wake up early gt,0.0
24543,naughtyamos get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
24544,alexa play daddys home by usher,1.0
24545,petote theres no helping some people  its currently about  with a slight breeze here today thats in the upper  for you,0.0
24546,had the best weekend ,0.0
24547,i hate humans for how they treated me and my people im just too insipid to exist and i wish your species would just finally genocide us abortions a cure mass killings voluntary euthanization anything will do your race keeps trying to kill us so kill us we have no value to you were animals to you so treat us like animals your not willing to help us or treat us well so i ask why are we here other than its wrong to kill us im so worthless and lesser than everyone else my life is just endless suffering i want live but your too conceited to be useful to me all you can do is be cruel like the animals you are your apes in comparison to us if you would only give us the resources we need youd see we have far more potential than what an average human can accomplish my life will never reach that point because i dont really have anyones support even as a child people just hurt me anytime i leave my house fuck you race when will i get any amount of help never your too pathetic and selfish to offer anything but half ass pity i cant live anymore at this point i dream of killing off humans in droves for not being good enough like you did to my people so that humans can understand my suffering and wont repeat it again i want to lock sane people in hospitals so they can see truely see the cruel world they sustain at my detriment i want retirement benefits to be taken away from everyone to fuel autistic peoples development we should be assured   billion dollars year after year again so they would learn that their cruelty is wrong i want the elderly to eat cat food to survive to never get surgery to dull pain withholding medication living on street wed give food to them through charitys i mean really if thats enough for us thats enough for them right or are you that selfish that you think they deserve more these elderly fucks  years ago killed my people withhold funding and spread lies about my people to our detriment why should they get the easy life some are good to me but you need to learn how to treat people better and in that world youd understand that my people need more from you and provide plenty for it to be worth the investment where as people who are retired arent worth the investment this end delights me so much suffering would teach you the real animals what its like to beaten and given nothing future autistic children would finally be safe to grow and outmatch your pathetic race in every way and prove you were wrongbring on the insults you toxic illiterate redditers you humans are only vile and cruel ,3.0
24548,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
24549,getting ready to go to bedmy last night that i talked to my boyfriend before he heads out to bootcamp sunday ,2.0
24550,back from the lake good news and bad news the hot mess didnt show up but the party is now over ,2.0
24551, thats why i think kris will win just because adams gay thats wrong peoplez lt,2.0
24552,beeeeeeeeeee rightt back  xxx,2.0
24553, except michael climbed over there breifly literally eeek oh and your pillow was smelling gnarly my bad ,0.0
24554,chucknerd omg me too i get serious withdrawals  ,0.0
24555, yes  it makes me seem so smart ,0.0
24556,mathie i agree unfortunately this is too late at this point  could you file a bug nevertheless httpbugreporterapplecom,2.0
24557,rt pahtch oh yea i call this set i didnt rebel enough as a teenager all the teenage angst converted into anxiety and depression now im a,2.0
24558,but i learnd from you ♥ thnkz ,0.0
24559,is sooo bored and i have a major kink in my neck from sleeping the wrong way last night ,2.0
24560,tothemoon space cats cool ,0.0
24561,mitchelmusso yay cant wait can i get a shout out please im having a bad day ,2.0
24562, must be sad that the bcliberal cant afford digital influencers to help you spin your rhetoric it a ,1.0
24563,casanovajsandy naawwww i got it straight away  i cant be cool ,2.0
24564,stockton california lastday of  tour ,2.0
24565,ps just got a call from afghanistan ,0.0
24566,robcaporetto we are so totally gonna minm that  imax if poss,0.0
24567,foxnews i disagree with realdonaldtrump  on almost every issue  his supporters have as much right to support him ,0.0
24568,still sad that we did not have the right acceptance for the applications of munich and hamburg olympics ,0.0
24569, thx ,0.0
24570,going through an episode i just dropped my boyfriend off to go to basic training on sunday and im miserable im excited for him but i miss my partner i forgot to take my meds all last week so im an emotional mesd right now everything tastes like ask and i just want to lie in bed and sleep all day im trying to force myself to be social and fo things but its exceptionally draining right now i dont know how much is too much im constantly in a fog and ive got  more weeks until i can speak to him again im exhausted all the time  i dont know how i can do this,3.0
24571,patriciamalone at least you look like a foxy bitch with them on ,0.0
24572,its sunny  hope it stays that way,0.0
24573,is still trying to udnerstand twitter ,0.0
24574,wants to thank everyone for following me during girls state i had a blast and thanks for caring ,0.0
24575,nicolekarenlynn thats whats up im glad your doing well and glad u had a great time  the showi know they killed it ,0.0
24576,good morning ,0.0
24577,just being tested but trying to be strong ,0.0
24578,i just got bit by a misquitto and it hurts ,2.0
24579,thatguyben oh no  that is no good at all hope it is something small  that can be fixed quickly,2.0
24580,psychicsarah love that saying ,0.0
24581,i had an ivory pair and a black pair  booo ,2.0
24582,omg our school fire alarm went off  minutes before the bell went  i wanna go home gt,2.0
24583,rt onlinehomo theres a lot of things i can handle heartbreak being broke depression anxiety but cockroaches no sweetie its game,2.0
24584,and thanks dabfoto for the inspiration to thank my body after running  ,0.0
24585,pedanticbohemia  good luck in your quest to find an answer to that question  ,0.0
24586,pritty sure i failed my math finale ,2.0
24587,digitalsophia nice  i should really drag my ageing  out of the cupboard at some point,0.0
24588,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
24589,rt malackies me waking up from my  depression nap httpstcoaczjgcqjko,2.0
24590,photo do it  ,0.0
24591,rt rommaaan dude same i was just thinking about that ☹️ httpstcoaryyfozgpr,0.0
24592, it was cute not as funny as the first one but it had its moments ,0.0
24593, walang anuman pre ,0.0
24594,this is⚪️ real⚪️ me🔘 the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world and while she looked ,0.0
24595, you are the worst thing to happen to america since the great depression you are a complete moron,2.0
24596,thinking about killing myself makes me feel happy before when i thought about killing myself i always had that feeling of defeat or giving up but lately its made me feel happy ive been very stressed lately with college the mcat and med school apps i honestly have no idea what im doing with my life because honestly i never thought id still be alivewith all this stress and anxiety i just feel like giving up because i know ill never be able to succeed with my goals i just want to give up and thinking about ending everything just makes me feel so happy and i dont know why it kind of scares me,3.0
24597,fabianv i guess you mean quotcan find time for relativesquot same here ,0.0
24598,tommcfly you definitely have to come back to argentina  well be waiting for you  you guys are so awesome thank u so much ,0.0
24599,i had a lot of amazing times this year great teachers and memories and its ending on thursday ,2.0
24600, out for a bit,0.0
24601,rt azzatalsaleem yazidigenocide survivor i was pregnant and taken as sex slave with my five years daughter by sunn neighborsafter is,0.0
24602,  both  haha no for a friend but i found one at spencers for only  bucks ,0.0
24603, wish i was there  hope you had fun ,2.0
24604,have to study   not happy at all,2.0
24605,a little good news i found out i have enough money in my bank account to cover my funeral when i finally reach my breaking point one last gift to my family,3.0
24606,i need  consecutive days at the spa to get rid of all this stress,2.0
24607,chilln at home dont kno what im going to do today ,2.0
24608,i will no longer drink coffee if i do you can have all my jem dolls  except out of the house cos that doesnt count,2.0
24609, no kidding he needs to do an nyc show like yesterday not all fans are in college or willing to go  hrs out of their way ,2.0
24610,renegadegrrl thats a tough one cant have both    i think im leaning toward kbell,2.0
24611,i love my twitter sisters ,0.0
24612,betsymaebartlet sleep is damn good get a ton of it im very glad you had such a good time this weekend ,0.0
24613,cats and dogs just starting on channel  for those of us with kids looking to do dinner in peace ,0.0
24614,heading to the bank to cash a graduation check ,0.0
24615,just saw a nice thick girl in some booty shorts from key west with a great tan and half her ass hangin outgod i love flying ,0.0
24616,quotthis can enter the hall of fame storiesquot above my gilgamesh translation from kanneganti  i am flying now ,0.0
24617,came home earli from school  pm  going to watch desperate housewives now ,0.0
24618,today has actually been one of the best days in a while  oh happy days,0.0
24619,rt jmsknt won jane enjoy the money i hope it makes you very happy dear lord what a sad little life jane you ruined my night com,1.0
24620,trick fkd me  i thought paint it black was coming on   tqnews thesocialistpig shesallwrite lisatoddsutton,2.0
24621,perreau the genius had gone to the back unfortunately so cant blame him it just flew out my hand and hit the deck ,2.0
24622,jamieorillion dude i hear you are moving homei am gonna miss you ,2.0
24623,llaeak buy me a copy ay i have to work today ,2.0
24624,ewwwww chucking it down going to have to ride on my turbo  boo but until then watching live streaming of nationals in scotland,2.0
24625,just finished my three hour final   ,2.0
24626,peppery as soon as i can take some good ones ill upload ,0.0
24627,brucel try some blackout curtain lining ,0.0
24628,photography changed mine after my fathers death 🙏🏾,2.0
24629,its friday and i have more work today than any other day this week  ugh,2.0
24630,excited about seeing my sis in law graduate from nursing school on friday ,0.0
24631,is watching the girl with the curl i miss hodgela ,2.0
24632,localxlove  yah today was beautiful,0.0
24633,things are okmaybe next timei still dont completely understand twitter ,0.0
24634,gonna delete soon growing up life hasnt been easy but always manageable my family was lower class and couldnt speak english well so we were scammed robbed and moved a bunch but yet my parents still found a way to feed us an have a home for us this also took a toll on them which made them despise each other from when i was  until they got a divorce my father cheated on my mom with my best friends mother after they fought they would yell at us for little things but i dont blame them now seeing how difficult it was for them my parents shared custody but i mainly stayed with my mom in another city it got even tougher with bills and finding out my parents werent citizens still my sister is in grad school to get her law degree so she helped my parents get their green cards from middle school to high school it was a struggle but i was happy knowing i have a place and some food then college hit couldnt afford the college i wanted so i stayed and am going to community college my mom doesnt make enough to pay the bills so my sister and i help out i feel terrible because im not putting as much as my sister im only in an internship im currently finishing up my second year and classes have taken a toll to the point that i lost my internship my math teacher has made all of our exams and quizzes to a week earlier even though he still hasnt finished teaching us two sections the test is in  days i feel so slow studying day in and day out but still not catching up to my peers im making no money anymore so i feel like a leech im scared of falling behind since i need these classes to transfer to a  year and im watching friends having fun studying with friends at their universities while im at community with no one to talk to everyone keeps to themselves  ive had times where i cant even talk to others anymore without shaking and i dont know why i feel like a mess,3.0
24635,im tired and scared and sad but in a sentimental sort of way time flies by im sad to see it go i feel empty and tired i miss not being this way what really makes me sad is thinking of a time when i wasnt the rain is nice but it only goes for so long sure it comes back around every once in a while but its still only temporary i dont feel as though anything makes me happy anymore i never get that stirring feeling anymore i dont feel love i feel that i dont have any motivation to keep going nothing is pushing me and i dont know if i want to push myself,3.0
24636,time going rapidly fast why does it seem like i lose a year while it only seems like a month has passed one day passes in what seems like  hours while being totally unproductive and lazy i question a lot i doubt myself i produce hateful selfdestructive thoughts even if i break those days in a good streak while working and studying well it doesnt last and the progress is lost how to calm myself and try to study at least for an hour without being interrupted by my head,3.0
24637,i added a video to a youtube playlist  sad love songwhatsapp videowhats video calling,0.0
24638,was almost done with the test i only had three more sections left  had to finish it  home,2.0
24639,mortgagechris not as much as i could be at work  finish mon for a week though  what you been up to,2.0
24640,oh yehhits summer for the girls ,0.0
24641,rt tyeballew its ok to be sad sometimesits ok to be lonely sometimesits ok to cry sometimes its ok,2.0
24642,rt ipraisewomen her insecurity is so sad shes not built to be in the spotlight like this ,1.0
24643,gorrie hey one of the reasons im learning japanese is to do just that teach english in asia ,2.0
24644, aint that hella nastyughand i really was looking forward to getting my veggie sandwich from there ,2.0
24645,trying to write alannahs letter for the year  retreat its so sad i cant do it ,2.0
24646,is risperdal making me slower and slower overtime am i eventually going to grow breasts ive been on risperdal for over  years my therapist says im not ready to come off of it my psychiatrist says that if i havent grown breasts as of yet then it probably isnt going to happen i tried to get off it but wasnt able to because of the depression coming backwhat is going to happen if i continue to stay on this drug am i eventually going to become slow and retarded and eventually become a vegetable and become a loser and unsuccessful am i going to lose all function eventually and eventually kill myself due to my body being brokenalso is smoking pot okay while on this drug i smoke pot a lot and never really had any issues never freaked out or wanted to kill or rob anyone never was violent or wanted to kill myself while high im also on mirtazapine and zoloft my therapist said it interferes with the zoloft and prevents it from working and says it can increase depression and anxietyi never had an issue with pot by that i mean i never was violent or broke things never did bad things or hurt anyone i never freaked out or hurt anyone or was violent im just pretty chill and relaxedim very depressed and suicidal pot is my escape sometimes i know its not great to be smoking but it just makes me feel more alive sometimes,3.0
24647,maybe ill just go to bed and start afresh in the morning have to go to work tomorrow tho  boo,2.0
24648,all here at the lil ol homestead ,0.0
24649,good morning everyone ,0.0
24650,no more sports to watch ,2.0
24651,worldofwhispers yes the winner of the apprentice has been announced i had better not say it on here though ,0.0
24652,rt rockyelgogari yeah youre cute but are you good for my mental health,0.0
24653,watching the secret window with zachary ,0.0
24654,ok that sounded confusing playing the game to help me get my mind off of what i need to do tomorrow lol ,0.0
24655, very true  the only thing worse was the gent who was watching very hardcore porn next to me on a packed trainwith sound,0.0
24656,i am starting to wonder if im depressed the reason this feels absurd is because i have a phd in psychology the absurdity beingf that im wondering if im depressed i recently moved to a new city in a different country into a new job the job is a mix of clinical and research with patients with horrible neurodegenerative diseasesseeing them breaks my heart but also makes me happy contact and impact today my boss asked me what kind of research im interested in doing at this institute and what i want to do with my life he asked in a very kind and supportive way as in wanting to facilitate me to get there i had a breakdown at home over thisi dont think i actually want to do a research career because of the stress i cant make up my mind fully i have no idea what i want in my life either i primarily want to be happy i feel like over the course of my phd i lost many things that mad me happy my hobbies stopped giving me joy so i quit i lost my drive to do things that bring me joy too i dont care about much anymore traveling sparks fun in me still reading painting pole dancing yoga fencing theyre all out the window ive gained  over the end of my phd and justi dont know i feel really lost and weird i dont want to commit suicide but i want to die i think i wish i would just die in an accident where no one else gets hurt,3.0
24657,i have a headache  too much sun me thinks  had a rounders match after school we won    im getting ,2.0
24658,i was supposed to kill myself yesterday i dont know why i didnt do it it just made sense to everything was planned the bleach for my suicide martini my note i thought everything would be done in one smooth motion and then i would either be dead or horribly poisoned to the point of writhing agony well you win some you lose some huh i didnt have anything else and the good old toasterbath seemed like too much of an economic burden to deal with after my death no rope for a noose no gun no drugs that could kill me just good old bleach and drain cleaneri sat there for a while just staring at everything and feeling this serenity in my chest it felt like everything was going to be okay that everything horrible that has led up to now would be over i even had brought down a fancy wine glass from my step mothers collection i thought a little postmortem humour would be nice killing myself with a bleach margarita hah looking back on it its not actually funny i used that cup to hold the bleach the amount i poured in was no joke if that glass had really been filled with alcohol i would have been hammered but no it wasnt the color was a slightly cloudy clear solution it didnt smell like much but i can probably attribute that to my blocked sinuses i remember chuckling to myself when looking at it imagining it to be some sort of witches brew that would turn me into a frog maybe frogs are happy i want thati grabbed the cup but once my fingers made contact with the glass i felt a pit in my stomach this overwhelming sense of dread seeped into my mind making me put down the glass and look at it with disgust i thought of my dog the small old man who always looked at me with admiration i thought of my sister who would have to be the first to discover me she always broke into my room in the mornings to wake me up im quite stubborn in the morningsi stopped for a moment and closed my eyes i dont know how much time passed before i stood up and walked outside with the glass throwing it into the garbage cans in the back i put the bleach back to where it belonged and crumpled up my note then went to back to bedtoday i felt that same urge to kill myselfbut i dont want my sister to put me in my grave and i dont want to waste any more good glasses im scheduling an appointment with my therapist for next month,3.0
24659,when the battery dies on my laptop im just going to sit in the dark and cry ,2.0
24660,work is busy  sad sad night   rip grandpa smith ,2.0
24661,ossreleasefeed yea i know what you mean  it can be a little confusing ,0.0
24662,what anti depressants are best for energy levels hey guys so about  months ago i started taking paroxetine due to having low mood and chronic fatigue  i stopped  months later after having slight improvement in mood but energy levels remained the same and to me the negative side effects out weighted what little benefit the medication was doing  has anyone had any success with anti depressants increasing their energy levels  im feeling terrible at the moment,3.0
24663,bom dia twitters ,0.0
24664,rt plynteria adachi i became a cop just so i could legally carry a gun and kill peoplena fans oh fuck yum i love the edgeakechi i,1.0
24665,mentalhealth mental health mckinney    plenty of women who suffered from hysteria or epil ,2.0
24666,i should really go to sleep now i have work in the afternoon  goodnight,2.0
24667,djtracyyoung got me on the floor with defying gravity ,0.0
24668,it always comes back to this this same dark of night pit in my stomach feeling im so afraid and lonely and theres no one im starting to think maybe this is just my lot in life ,3.0
24669,im having a hard time staying engaged i have had a tendency towards depression in the past i am in a great place at work with a great chance of being promoted in  months i find myself being unable to get up and stay focused on work i am on an antidepressant but it does not seem to be working i am starting to overmedicate to be able to get up in the morning i do no want to go to the psychiatrist because i was going to come up with some bsbut it is because i dont want to i am mostly posting this to kind of reach out im just trying to understand what is happening with me ,3.0
24670,mileycyrus haha  its a totally different animal,0.0
24671,jaybby why are the storms going to stop ,2.0
24672, yeah it does   the only thing better is shot through the heart amp youre to blame  probaby not the right name ,0.0
24673,in bed now best place everrr but i do miss my king size duvet ,2.0
24674,nelwinuy just finished editing wedding pics replied to your email already ,0.0
24675,i love when i dream about you at night i always wake up happy then cant wait to see and talk to you again ,0.0
24676,i feel numb why do i feel numb i cant tell if my emotions at this point are just like muscles whenever im in a social interaction i cant tell if im laughing because i just am or im laughing because there laughing etc,3.0
24677,quality time with my   some noqqin andamp toyzs dhen eatinqg dinner dhat my  cooked for  dhen back home ,2.0
24678,had to come home  blood sugar was loww how crap,2.0
24679,not such a good day  wish it were better,2.0
24680,freddyphh i heard about last night dag where was my invite daaaaag  all about the bunni i see how it is  lol,2.0
24681,u used  b more talkiative on here now not so much always busy working but am glad to know u had some down time for yourself today ,0.0
24682,coolbbthemes same here  facebook fail,2.0
24683,good morning today is my last day of quotfreedomquot back to work tomorrow im sorta stokednot stoked but well ,0.0
24684,youre the light of this place youre my life my reason my other middle   ,0.0
24685,whoa my tummy hurts ,2.0
24686,welp im crying—in my city there was a house full of trash garbage maggots and lice with up to  disabled dogs b ,2.0
24687,mrsummers longgg movie but good ,0.0
24688,mommamoyer hahaha iwish i had said that sorry i was retweeting somebody else sorry to disappoint ,2.0
24689,vegasshowdown your hair looks gorgeous can barely see the gum that i got stuck in it   jessica alba aka honey,0.0
24690,i dont think there is a way out i have been fighting for so long and sometimes i thought things were getting better but in the end it seems i have  had net negative impacts on everything and everyone in my life i have been given so many opportunities and i have fucked up every single one even the few things i have done right took me way more attempts than they should have i used to think that i was a good friend a good boyfriend a good son a good brother but looking back i realize that i was just using everybody in my life using them to make me feel like i was actually doing something important i was never there when it really mattered when those times came i always fucked up and i kept telling everybody and myself that i would get better but i never did years of therapy medication selfreflection selfexamination it all just lead me to realize that i was only getting worse and i was only going to keep getting worse and now here i am fully realizing that i am not fixable or savable i know it would be better for me and for literally everyone else if i just died but im also a fucking coward i cant kill myself because im too afraid the epitome of selfishness so im just waiting to die hoping that something happens to cause it sooner  rather than later because i am a complete waste nobody should need to deal with me im trying to avoid people as much as possible because i dont want to drag them down but if i tell them this then theyll feel obligated to waste time trying to help me so sometimes i do end up seeing people pretending everything is fine trying my absolute hardest to not do anything that will make their lives harder in either the short or long term inevitably failing i wish i were better i wish i had been better but i wasnt im not and i never will be im sorry to anybody who actually took the time to read this you could be doing literally anything else,3.0
24691,bummed that the weekend is over but at least the lakers won ,0.0
24692, i was targeting one person ,2.0
24693,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
24694,come on  of maythe end of semester one seems so close yet so far away  ,2.0
24695,i dont know what i need im a sophomore in college playing a sport team cocaptain that is paying for a majority of my schooling i have friends a car a nice computer a decent family on paper things sound like theyre going well but theres so much moremy father who is my best friend was diagnosed with a rare stage  cancer id been struggling with weight and have currently ballooned to my highest yet  fuck i rent a house with a friendformer teammate who basically has me by the balls because he pays more money per month than i do but he can afford it his family is rich my family is far far from it he is pressuring me to pay more money that i dont have and i dont even feel comfortable at the house while hes here i had been on the deans list my first  semesters but i can feel my grades slipping i am taking  credit hours and cannot catch up the season is about to start up which is going to make things a lot worse im afraid to go to my parents because i had always been the model child of the two i was the one nobody ever worried about because theyd assume i was fine i dont think they can deal with any other stress or medical billsi dont have the energy to attack the day anymore i feel empty i dont know where to turn i made a throwaway account looking for help because i dont want anyone i know bugging me about it ive always been a quiet person who was fine being alone and dealing with problems alone but tonight for the first time ever i genuinely thought about suicide the only thing that kept me from it at this point is not wanting to upset anyone i know a majority of my family would be crushed i dont think id actually do it but it was scary that my brain took me that direction i just dont feel like i have the strength anymore im sorry for the post length thank you ,3.0
24696, teded lessons about mental health ,2.0
24697,i miss my ladies  kaitlinthomas maggieoshannon caralategan  thanks for the bday wishes friends ,0.0
24698,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
24699,sorry for the rant i feel like im never good enough that ill never be loved noone can look past my illness and see who i am i know that im worthless and i cant do anything right i dont have any friends and im always alone the loneliness is the worst i dont want this to be true but it probably is i just cant do anything right and i feel like im going to break down im so depressed im physically illi dont know what keeps me here and i dont know why i cant seem to kill myself maybe this would be easier maybe my family would be happier without me i dont know how to keep going i cant even pay my bills right now and i feel defeated,3.0
24700,thought im better nope ive been struggling with depression s h since before my teen years and just started to barely get hold of myself like just today morning my brain was like life is meaningless i want to die lets do it again wrist then forearm because were doomedand i was like bad brain then i realise even if the situations triggering you are no longer present even if everything is running smooth by others standards your brain still relies on its default thought pattern the only thing one could do is to bypass these thought patterns until it becomes the default therapy finally made sense,3.0
24701,smackthis c u soon baby ,0.0
24702,lizanjos im staying at a hotel right at the airport cdg the first night then im staying at  ,0.0
24703,not upgrading to iphone os  as iphonemms doesnt work apple wont approve the latest version ,2.0
24704,mitchelmusso hey im screamin at you ,0.0
24705, uh i know where he lives we shot our summer lookbook there man you dont know anything about me u just want my kids ,2.0
24706,tnkgrl great  does cupcake give you ability to send via bluetooth at least,2.0
24707,so tired tonight and my back hurts ,2.0
24708,how to cope with anxiety  ,2.0
24709,mileycyrus went onto the teen choice awards to vote for you and cos i live in the uk it wouldnt let me  sorry ,2.0
24710,ha ha i got up at  this morning ,0.0
24711,dont skip out on quality shuteye your physical emotional and mental health depend on it more than you think ,2.0
24712,rt nhsmillion we think this is utterly appalling rt if you agree ,1.0
24713,linnyyyyyyy haha the baby has shut up now ,0.0
24714,lettya i woke up at  because my body was probably all quotum you should be leaving for work nowquot  but i fell back asleep for a little,2.0
24715,feminineflip i dont think ur life would appreciate you effing it oo i love you georgia  ,0.0
24716,hmmm can i say denver in  ,0.0
24717,rt bucketincorrect incorrectnini im actually sad to admit this but fuck its true,1.0
24718,no new iphone software for me before work  sniff,2.0
24719,i am honestly not ok today i dont know what the hell is wrong with me i force myself out of bed i force myself to work out i force myself to stop the drugs and alcohol and to take the damn pills and even do the damn therapy i mean holy shit im even honest with my therapist about everything it doesnt matter nothing makes it any better and i dont know what to do anymore ive done everything im supposed to everything they say will fix this but nothing does and im just so sick of trying whats the point when it doesnt worki dont wanna die or anything theres no worries about me killing myself or anything like that im just so fucking sick of living like this but i dont know how to make it stopidk what the hell the point of this post even is tbh i guess i just needed a place to vent or something ,3.0
24720,anyone bueller does anyone else constantly think that its just a matter of time until the suicidal thoughts win i was passively suicidal for a loooong while but i keep getting right back to this low  now i feel its just a matter of time until it just eventually gets me like addiction cancer or diabetes some just give up ,3.0
24721,xjkradicoolx thats not soooooo bad     still sad tho,2.0
24722, omg melissa seriously dont stalk people jeez so whatcha doing ,0.0
24723,cigardanno i have a box pressed one  i cant find anything older in my local stores  they just got these in ,0.0
24724,dannygokey what a beautiful pic thank you for sharing with us ,0.0
24725,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
24726,why am i not allowed to be in pain last year a severely broke my leg due to a geneticdisorderi didntknowi had this break resulted in me being in a care center for a long time because my mother didnt want to take care of me i primarily use a cane to get around now but for a long time i was in a wheelchair i couldnt go to the bathroom by myself i couldnt shower by myself i couldnt even put on pants without help i will never be able to walk again without being in pain simple things like walking around a store for  will result in my leg swelling so bad i have to stay home and not move i have attempted to talk to people about it but i get shut down they want me to be happy they keep saying its not that bad and i yelled at two people that said that and they left my life permanently one of those people was my father the other was my best friend for going on  years i cant be positive about this i cant work because of the injury preventing me from walking i will never be able to drive a car again strangers treat my so differently than before none of it positive when i yelled at my friend it was because i was complaining about my peg hurting after walking in target she said should use those scooters i said no i am really fat people see a girl in her  using one of those they are not kind and understanding people mocked me or made really rude comments about my weight so i stopped using them she just told me to focus on myself and not let others get me down i yelled at her its not that simple that just focusing on myself is not that simple i am in pain all the time and mentally i cant handle a  year old recording me to post on youtube she ended the conversation saying i was having a pity party and didnt want to be around someone who is toxic i just need someone to listen to me while i cry about my life forever being changed i dont want someone to offer my advice about how i can overcome this some things people cant get over even if i lost a lot of weight i still could break a bone from simply stepping off some stairs wrong i just want to be allowed to be sad but im not allowed to i am not allowed to be anything but happy and fake i just want the pain to end but its not,3.0
24727,you want to be rich just find a way to monetize giving people with social anxiety a way to opt out of interactions ,0.0
24728, yes that rocked then it moved to challenge and got shit ,2.0
24729,getting ready to make french toast ,0.0
24730, this track sounds like its gonna blow up all on its own  support is there standard   xx,0.0
24731,spudcheyne aww im sorry cheyne ,2.0
24732,miserable day out  cuddling up with coheed watching twilight,2.0
24733,mentness cheers  i found a coffee shop with a cute roaster in it had a coffee  well leave that there ,2.0
24734,the sad part of life is that you outgrow relationships  and then no matter how much band aid you put on it it is too late ,2.0
24735,what is the point there might be some grammatical errors or other things because im typing this on my phonewhat is the point the point to us i am a pretty young guy to some standards  but since im  i cant feel happiness i have been a depressed person most of my life and i have been questioning myself loads of times but the depression wasnt as strong as it is now im at my last year of high school in france im studying graphic design but im not really enjoying it i dont have irl friends and by that i mean people or one person i feel attached to and can have total trust towards i spend most of my day at school alone browsing reddit or sleeping the type of people in my school doesnt interest me to spend time with i cant connect to anyone when i go back home i go on my pc and spend hours talking to my best friends online i feel more connected to them then anyone else i meet irl i dont feel connected to my familly like i have no part in there never feelt true joy or happiness i always feel this heavy weight in my brain or my chest so i have been questioning myself what is the point the point to me to humans and the only answer i could give was that we spend most of our time as kids to study to get a diploma to then go to another bigger school to then get another diploma and after that we work work and work again to finally be left out because we are on the last stage of life everytime i say this to my dad he replies that betwenn that there is some joy is there tho and is there a point where i will stop having the thought of dying or depression is there some people in my case or were in my case please help me i cant take it anymore ,3.0
24736,thinks someone may have keyed her car  big scratches on the hood  ,2.0
24737,sick and burnt out  why do i always get sick when its nice outside  sniffles,2.0
24738,ש�ונציקולומוטוניס its the best nickname i ever had ,0.0
24739,is falling asleep to the humming of the computernight night ,0.0
24740,rt buliebabes let me tell you something about depression i can say i have a relatively good quality of life with an amazing support syst,0.0
24741,soweirdboy hi charices twitter account is officialcharice ,0.0
24742,sunovion proud sponsor of the art of recovery patients jay couture ceoexecutive director seacoast mental httpstcoxrvabygwzg,1.0
24743,i love how pathetic people never give up despite their numerous failed attempts at breaking me a for effort ,0.0
24744,its weird not to sound like an emo teen but its hard for me to feel much of anything anymore its not like my life sucks or anything im uppermiddle class have two loving parents in a devoted relationship with each other a sister who frequently interacts with me and yet everything still feels wrong ive been sick for a long while with depression but also pandaspans look it up if you dont know im not here to explain it which my mom continues to say is the cause of all my depression i cant stop thinking of myself as an attentionstealing whore every other person with depression has a reason i dont im just fucking lazy and pathetic and im just here to spill my thoughts to reddit tonight hopefully things get better tomorrow,3.0
24745,no way to get help people are either fake or selfish and noone cares everyone say take pills or i dont have time and when u think someone feels same and will understand it turnes he is manipulative psychopath and ends  with arguing or blaming person who need help but with this gets only feel worse and alone and loosing hope someone will understand,3.0
24746,im sick i feel like crap but i sti have to go to work ugh ,2.0
24747,im sick of people ,2.0
24748,is cold  rainy ,2.0
24749,according to weathercom the heat index in bonner is   this sucks ice cream lunch made it a liiiiiittle better i guess,2.0
24750,latinabeatz as you always give us good vibes ,0.0
24751, its on its way would vicky want one i just sprinckled coconut on one ,0.0
24752,going to austin today  just need to finish packinglol,0.0
24753,mileycyrus i think you have started a new journey in your life you are showing the world miley cyrus as herself not miley cyrus as hm ,0.0
24754,djvandal lmfao bitch not that vanessa what was your exs name jaslin or some shit she had orange hair member lol i miss peaches ,2.0
24755,rt clayfeathers melania trump questions kathy griffins mental health after trump beheading photo thursdaythoughts  ,2.0
24756,a gray rainy morning   what happened to the sun   even the coffee isnt helping  sigh,2.0
24757,onto  bacardi and coke for this evening still suffering from runny nose and itchy eyes i love bunnies but their fur does not love me ,2.0
24758,ah twitter wont take my picture always having trouble uploading a picture or background on here ,2.0
24759,literally biting off all my fingernails due to anxiety over this game lets go cavs defendtheland cavs ,2.0
24760,trying to open a docx file on my virtual system while im under the dryer but it only has office  ,2.0
24761,danawilson doesnt sound too promising   houseofgems,2.0
24762, lushy can i tee up an interview for you with the md of sexpo for friday a nice english chap with a wry sense of humour ,0.0
24763,say a prayeri think my clothes dryer just died  ,2.0
24764,ive decided fuck everyone else ive gotta make him mine ,0.0
24765,  cupcakes for allies grad party ,0.0
24766,i miss baseball  the band not the sport,2.0
24767,sad boy hours got my own feelings hurt,2.0
24768,rosie tedlieu repswalwell cher ananavarro  gavinnewsom donlemonhere is the entire interview wow ,1.0
24769,the most socially awkward person alive i literally do not know how to communicate with anyone i dont know how to make any jokes i dont know what people talk about or what the normal person enjoys i feel like a complete alien when i try to talk to anyone at this point and its really killing me,3.0
24770,im lonely and i dont know how not to be im approaching the end of highschool and its making me realize how lonely i am and how stupid i am for causing my own loneliness ive had every opportunity to talk to people but i havent taken those opportunities because i feel out of place most people have things they enjoy they have hobbies and friends and things to do with those friends i dont have any of that i play the same  or  videogames everyday or i watch youtube all day and i dont even enjoy it i just use them as a distractionsive tried typing about why i dont talk to people but to be honest i have no clue why i dont im shy im awkward i fall out of conversations easily im not interesting enough i could go on and give a ton of these excuses but none of them are real reasons i think the real reason i dont talk to people might be that im a coward im afraid of people not liking me and since there are always those people you just dont get along with maybe i prefer avoiding these people i might not get along with rather than the alternative maybe since i dont do anything and dont have any real interests im too boring and unlikeable maybe this is all just some teenager bullshit and ill be more socially adept as an adult i dont know at this point all i know for certain is that im lonely and miserable and i dont know how to solve my issues on my own,3.0
24771,why am i so fucking sad,2.0
24772,so fuckin tired of being sad i just wanna sleep until this all goes away,1.0
24773,rt careandhealth blue badge parking scheme open to mental health patients from next year  ,1.0
24774,has anyone actually ever overcome emotional numbness i can figure out how to solve pretty much any problem with google but when it comes to emotional numbness theres absolutely no real advice to help cure it am i just fucked ive already been robbed of all my high school years because i never had the ability to feel emotion to enjoy anything and now im in college im tired of feeling nothing but emptiness  not sadness not joy nothing debating if i even want to finish the semester or if i should just go down to the local gunshop and get a gun to blow my fucking head off with i dont give a fuck about anything anymore honestly i just want to die,3.0
24775, dont play marvel anymoreeee ,2.0
24776, youre so mean ,2.0
24777,why does my body decide now is a good time to wake up every morning at  maybe dean will wait for me in my dreams ,2.0
24778,im not watching the mtv movie awards am i irrelevant ,2.0
24779,sgbeatmattbinks yesshucks you interpreted my msg wrongly ,2.0
24780,i just woke up and i just feel heavy i dont know why its been a great week and weekend hell even yesterday was good but i got up and i just cant do anything i dont want to go to class or work or to the gym i just want to lay in bed and browse redditi need my therapy appointment to hurry up and get here but thats almost two weeks away ill finally be getting to see a psychiatrist and get medication but right now everything feels so bleh so pointless so worthless and heavy it feels like there is a blanket around my head that i just cant get out from under and im tired of it,3.0
24781,i walk into the living room right as the sad doggy commercial comes on  i miss my puppy so much,2.0
24782,is enjoying our endless numbered days  ♥ ∞ ☮,0.0
24783,suicidal ideations i never know if what im feeling is real or this weird drama i might be creating in my head im so tired now  it takes everything out of me to go to work and try to maintain a decent attitude  im exhausted ,3.0
24784,murdersuicide on my street i literally have chills bro,2.0
24785,lovebscott i know right this love muffin is being lazy  turning into a love danish,2.0
24786,thepetrified y wht happ to the bull dozer tyres o ran over spike strips ,0.0
24787,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
24788,guess i wont be at any cookouts today ,2.0
24789,hanging out after alpha and learning from htb folks brainstorrming  praying  but lord im tired this morning ,0.0
24790,donttrythis the questions from the kids at the end of the make talk were classic listening on ipod id no idea it was targeted at kids ,0.0
24791,ive lost my way in life for some context at the end of  my  year relationship had unfortunately ended abruptly as i was in the process of moving out to my own place emotionally confused and damaged i had a toxic rebound relationship and within a couple of weeks of that i had a seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsyfor most of  i have been working on myself getting therapy going away on vacation on my own and generally trying to better my life which has worked to an extentas of now ive hit a slump and have no idea what to do i feel like im just wondering aimlessly through the doors at the monsters inc factory with no purposei feel absolutely lost lonely and down in the dumps for example it takes a huge amount of mental effort to wash up or to put my clothes in the washing machine everything is a mess its even difficult to be honest with my therapist because id rather swallow my misery,3.0
24792,thabusdriva hell yah thats me ,0.0
24793,mrjoshh help i need a break  the stress is getting to me halo at  please for  mins or so x x x,2.0
24794,i wanna listen to my voicemailsagain ,2.0
24795,lol i cant believe eminem really freaked out and left hahahahahahahaa k good night for real ,0.0
24796, course it will be  you will look back and think quoti am glad i spent  hours a day in that roomquot ,0.0
24797,when night comes i cant sleep at night unless ive been drinking i know i need help but for the life of me i can not ask for it my bedroom is my sanctuary i lay in bed distracting myself from the sadness or crying non stop the worst part is im an extrovert when the sun is out i laugh and joke and constantly have heads turning but when the lights are off and the audience has gone home i stand alone me vs the darkness,3.0
24798,my computer just died on me wtf i havent even updated my ipod yet ,2.0
24799,summer school needs to be over alreadddy ,2.0
24800,thats the last time i do that i kept the up and still woke up at   im the only one tired i got hosed ,2.0
24801,cupcakeqween i love all the cupcakes    ,0.0
24802,nessuria happy birthday  have a wonderful day  ,0.0
24803,i feel like such a burden i feel like such a burden to everyone i havent seen my dad in  months and i go to his today  i am homeschooled and my mum doesnt allow me to see people our relationship isnt great at the moment she is kicking me out to move in with her boyfriendi told my dad this and he was giving me a lecture as i am going to have to move into assisted living he told me that is where all the wrongens live but its not like i have anywhere else to goi cant live with him because of a court order my mum put in place meaning i cant see him without his girlfriend being around at all times it means its impossible to see him i feel ever so guilty for not seeing him in ages but at the same time when i go over i am ignored and im forced to make decisions my dad will ask me what i want everyone to have for dinner i know it seems small but for me thats a massive decision to make as im insecure about being judged and if people will like the thing ive chosenthis is why i feel like such a burdenim a burden to my mum she doesnt want me she is kicking me out so she can live with her boyfriend when im im a burden to my dad as i never see him and he has to put in so much effort to see me im also scared of him so it doesnt helpand im a burden to where im moving too because are the people who run the home really wanting to be responsible for another teengager i dont think soi just really want to kill myself as im just such a burden to everyone im a waste of air ,3.0
24804,i wish i were following iranians ,2.0
24805,mimiandkarl ill second that  too difficult to head out if it rains,2.0
24806,so far so good new lappy top is working  old boy pc is no more rip ,2.0
24807,relationships anyone feels like they cant be in a relationship the weird thing is ill date guys have sex and like them for a while but once i start to really like them i get bored of them and disassociate which is a really horrible thing to do and i feel so bad about it but i cant really stop myself its like the only feelings i continue to have are unreciprocated ones and no matter how hard i try to disassociate from those feelings they stay no matter what i do i dont think im really capable of being in a relationship because i feel like im not love able i think its also important to add im a sexual assault survivor because that may also have a part in it any other survivors people living with depression feel this ,3.0
24808,blindoldfreak good luck with getting well my friends felt awful for two weeks ,2.0
24809,wii sports says i am a  yr old whose only redeeming quality is the ability to throw a punch ,2.0
24810,good morning  jess here  just wanted to say thank you to everyone following us  tell your friends about us please  xxx,0.0
24811,thanks to these morning clouds not a beach day for me and jesscascio ,2.0
24812,rt ipraisewomen her insecurity is so sad shes not built to be in the spotlight like this ,1.0
24813,rt artfeeiing what anxiety feels like ,1.0
24814,  me and my best friend emily ,0.0
24815,music politics at house party im winning ,0.0
24816,time to call it quits tonight its sunday night and i cant help thinking about how its back to reality tomorrow i cant deal with the anxiety thats constantly eating away at me everyone expects something from me and all this stress makes me want to cry but i know crying wont solve anything im only  why does everyone expect something from me ive always been the smart kid and as a result my family looks at me as a way out of their dreadful and poor lives honestly i want to help them so badly considering that theyve done everything in their power to give me a good life but the expectations placed on me not just from them but from everyone i know is just too great i feel sick thinking about how ill have to wake up tomorrow and continue to have to deal with this anxiety that makes me feel as if im stuck in an endless loop of hopelessness its not just the expectations placed on me that lead to my horrible anxiety and depression its everything in life whatever im doing my anxiety and depression are right behind me controlling every aspect of my life i cant handle dealing with this horrible feeling inside of me that makes it feel as if my life is a black void ive been staring at my pills for about an hour now i dont want to feel depressed anxious or hopeless anymore i cant even cry i dont know why farewell,3.0
24817,katehope thanks for havin my back   just needs someone to blame it on haha,0.0
24818,pokey is feeling bad after immunizations ,2.0
24819,lilazngangsta its here at my aunts house her neighbor lets me go swimming  chris ,0.0
24820,got an f on my test   but not a bad one i can pick it up,2.0
24821,its officially  months w my babe  he got it right at  oclock  ilu baby,0.0
24822,thebleachworks another  followers could we get a  vid too pleeeeaaaassseee ,0.0
24823,davidhenrie you are amazingg replyy its a dream come true if you would reply to me ,0.0
24824,beeeeyatris jepsssss yeaaa sa kanila lang ako loyal 😂 joke haha gara kasi eh pag nanonood ng kdrama or fan ng kp ,0.0
24825,ponyy i no i miss it ,2.0
24826,news he revealed at the time he had been suffering depression for a year and was receiving professional help 👇,1.0
24827,scriptdreric lol that took you awhile to respond  tast,0.0
24828,watching jimmy fallon hes getting betterslowly i think we can all learn to love him   ,0.0
24829,reviews done  means schools gonna start soon lol,0.0
24830,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
24831,back from park with no major injuries except to my dignity rurns out im not as young and fit as i thought i was ,2.0
24832,ill b rite over  lakers da next champs,0.0
24833,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
24834,candymaize so am i  trying to figure out what i wanna eat right now,2.0
24835,rt fedupppp if money crashes most citizens will be finethey were during depressionglobalist r afraid  their agenda  us will ,1.0
24836,impalaguy yeah i know  that´s really making me sad when i think about it and i really do that every day ,2.0
24837, powertwitter isnt working with firefox  ive tried uninstalling and reinstalling to no avail do you have a support page,2.0
24838,my laptop is dead again ,2.0
24839,tired in the mornings is not a good thing ,2.0
24840,suzannemcleod no prob blitzed it on fb too ,0.0
24841,didnt get a free upgrade on my first flight as an airtran elite miles member   maybe on the way home  four hour flight here we come,2.0
24842,amazin tan thanks to my italian ethnicity ,0.0
24843,andyclemmensen aha the house bunny i love that movieee ,0.0
24844,true not new in the us though  ,1.0
24845,such a good start to  i was feeling better after  then i slept at  after waking up i had bath and we had some rituals then suddenly i argued with my uncle and he started that shit in front of all the workers family i burst out at him i ran away from home then my brother came to pick me up had deep conversation with father and mother now i have to ask for sorry just because he is elder and i shouldve stayed calm what a fucking start,3.0
24846,russiansilver awww im glad you had a good time it was great seeing you this morning ,0.0
24847,superjerry haha owned  getamac,2.0
24848,rt jenvelys during sm town ending back then yesung usually walking along with soshi girls especially tiffany amp sooyoung sad that they,0.0
24849,phenomenality ,0.0
24850,rbmartin its disgusting how people treat the clothes all over the floor walking on them over them with pushchairs ,2.0
24851, seriously and i think were supposed to have sunshine tomorrow as well  yay for weekend,0.0
24852,thebrandicyrus aww im sorry brandi and it will be okay i love you brandi  ,0.0
24853,dae feel like words are cant even use them  fuck depression my mind has rot so fucking bad that i can barely speak i can barely communicate how im even feeling im like trapped in a human sarcophagus and the corpse inside me is screaming trying to communicate trying to ask for help but whats fucking wrong i dont know everything ,3.0
24854,glossymom i am watching it too i also love it  was my fave movie until the notebook took its place but still up there,0.0
24855,wish me luck english exam is tomorrow ,0.0
24856,jessicabb clearing things out for scrub day or rescuing cool castoffs im about ready for a warmweather edition of the clothing swap ,0.0
24857,he hit send accidently lol he said hello and that he drove an hour and a half to get here heading back after dinner ,0.0
24858,awmacdonald im sorry  my friend had four tickets for him myself his friend and one that didnt pay up so greg got it ,2.0
24859,urgh exams on monday ,2.0
24860,empathy for dipika no way for old woman yes for you for not saying its a forward and still not apologising ,0.0
24861,stayed home today thanks to rain dynamo game tomorrow good night ,0.0
24862,with heavy heart and ive avoided it all day but can avoid it no longer  time to google formula  news  ,2.0
24863,wishing that i could sleep tired but apparently my body is not ,2.0
24864,whenever im sad i remember nashgrier smile and i automatically open a smile too,0.0
24865,rawr i miss today  i wanna hang out with victor and kayla again i might go to the movies with them tommorow though,2.0
24866,plushcare has anyone used plushcare to get a prescription for antidepressants or anxiety meds for the first time im thinking of using it after the new year when my new insurance kicks in but want to hear others experience my insurance capital blue also has a service just like plushcare but i dont really know much about it,3.0
24867,home sweet homesurvived the  hour drive ,0.0
24868,jonasbrothers   ok what about this mexicobrazil and argentina wants the jonas brothers  ,0.0
24869,tired of everyrhing im tired of my shitty living situation im tired of the person i was and am im tired of my life  im tired that at  years old i live with my mother cus of bullshit past  im tired of not getting any affection from anyone  im tired of being tired  i dont want to live  anymore i wish something would just kill me so i dont have to do it myself,3.0
24870,moviepastor or not ,0.0
24871,i have very little savings but wont starve i have a home with ac pc and  but everyday is so tiring i will be  in this november along with little loans and things i finally have some savings but i cant even encourage myself to buy one motorcycle with loan i dont feel like i deserve it i have a roof on me but everything seemed so miserable this is a very long story i feel like a child crying for attention ashamed at the same time but it just feels like no one understands i had to talk in any ways ive always wanted a gameboy as a child but my mom told me we were too poor to afford any so i just watch other kids play em in break time at school i wanted to learn music instruments but no we were too poor my mom had so much expectation on me at around  my mom wanted me to learn ballet but i insisted on piano classes later she compromised with guzheng a chinese instrument it was wednesday when the first class was held i was so eager to go i think the tutor there even provided one free class just to see if i like it or not but i didnt go my parents got into a pretty serious fight because of that and no one could leave the house they used to fight so bad at an age of capable of remembering certain events like maybe  my mom drank farming pesticide in a rly ugly fight i heard it just a couple of years ago that it was not the first time it just never occurred to me so clearly that i shouldnt asked for anything else but food shelter and school i just never understand stupid bratwhen i get into  year of jr high i really wanted to learn guitar and i asked the money for it they said yes now thinking back i guess they just dont have the energy to talk me out of it anymore and my dad had to work his ass off to afford even bigger bills than before at the time my mom slowly becoming more and more distanced she started to be hospitalized when i was  i never understand the real reason i only knew she needed it my dad told me she need a lot of rest thats why shes in my sister was not very happy with the guitar class cuz i got what she couldnt have but she didnt stop it we had pretty bad relationship because my mom was pretty bias with me and her she hated me for a very long time i hated her too for being mean to me later our family had to move because a neighbor is buying off our place or simply stealing our chance to rent there i forgot and my mom or my dad wasnt too happy about it we moved to a crappy hole i had to share a room with my sister and it was not very good she basically ignored my needs i had to get up early in the morning to go to school and shed usually stay up very late watching movies or talk to her friends pretty loud or leaving the lights on it was so bad we shared a room for couple of years and later we grew better with each other but we still fight pretty often i moved to another room my dad build for other family members after they moved away growing up i never understood why people doesnt like me mostly classmates later on i realized i was the biggest brat in the group i even cuss so loud at one of my best friend in front of my home teacher when i was  guitar lesson goes on and off because of school in the mean time i saved up money from time to time to buy a few games to play at home and i broke our pc pretty often it was just a office work pc never meant for games at  i cant remember where i got the money but i think i saved it up i struggled so hard with with one guns n roses was touring in asia and to our country i cried at school when i was looking for tickets there was a person who wanted to get rid of some tickets in section b for personal reason it was so cheap i felt so lucky i cried but because i thought i cant go i cannot spend money like this this is not worth it but i still went there and i told my family i went to play basketball with my classmates now i think its funny that no one questioned i never stay out and play basketball my mom wouldve thought it was weird but she was in the hospital i was so happy but alone at the same time i didnt have dinner only had a chocolate bar on me i felt dizzy when jumping in the crowd after that i rode almost  hours of train ride home i almost missed the bus to my home in my town throughout high school my mom has been in and out of the hospital shed stay for one day the most and go back to the hospital i knew she was sick but i never knew what kind of sickness my dads explanation kind of made sense but didnt really made sense later i understood she had depression but i was too dumb to see what was causing it one time i find a jar of badly contained sleeping pills shes been collecting i threw them away angrily told her she shouldnt do anything she should stay alive for her family for me i even begged her not to die in younger age i cant remember when i dont visit her very often the visiting time was limited it never occurred to me that i couldve visited her myself and grab food for her i was so much of a brat one time it was midterm we have to clear out desks in my school we dont have lockers or anything and most of us tug our textbooks under a space of our desks so i had to carry all the books home it was heavy and teenagers get grumpy easily no i was just being selfish my dad was so busy one day he asked me to go check up my mom and i refused cuz the books are heavy and the hospital is just  away from my home i couldve carry the books with me and go see her it felt guilty one time i illegally rode a scooter to see her she was worried said i was too bald not in happy tone minors cant get driversriders license i finally graduated from sr high my mom kind of got out the the hospital now this time she stayed at home longer than before she asked me out couple of times but i was too lazy and wanted to sleep more i stayed up late and sleep throughout the day there was one time my dad was taking her to a long time family friend was gonna get some meds or some nutrition shots i forgot she asked me to come along i said no she begged a little and looked concerned a bit i said no i stayed home with my pc two weeks into the summer it was  oclock in the noon i heard my dad shouting my moms name asking her why did she do it i was so angry and storm out the door straight into the garage she effing hanged herself in the garage located right beside the bedroom of my sister and i i saw her lying on the ground as my dad already got her off from the beam on the ceiling i could not believe it we tried cpr but none of us were trained it was like a really bad tragic comedy that everything gets cringy she was so cold i knew it when i see her face shes not coming back but i told my sister that mom would come back there was a coincidence that she visited me in my dream when it happened i dreamed about we finally got a house and i was so happy i told her we finally have our own house and can live together happily never have to worry about this crappy hole and live a better life altogether couple of months later i got into a local collage normal things were normal only i still cry almost every night and learned how to smoke guess i needed to feel control over something  i cut myself sometimes i listen to stories from my dad how bad their relationship was it was okay at the start later i realized he kept victimizing himself kept saying how much of a psycho my mom was everything was just toxic them tearing each other apart and killing each other without physical weapons  it was bad that is true but my dad plays some major parts too slowly some regular relatives stopped speaking to us cuz shit was just so bad he blamed my moms death on one of my second aunt the third aunt is basically another selfish and ungrateful brat and the kids cousins never talked to us anymore after the funeral they said would help if we needed anything but my dad had to held up a show and thats it only some kids from first aunt would show slight friendliness only in biggest holiday of the year everything is so broken i was in the hole for so many years i feel like i had to listen to him or hes gonna get sick too yet its so heavy at the same time i am so tired when i got home just earlier this evening my dad told me he hit someones scooter in the back this morning paid a lot of money i didnt wanted to step into another hole again and basically said at least youre safe and i just couldnt stop my mouth and had to tell him that he should call the cops next time though i hope there isnt another time and he said it wont help anyways he says that to a lot of things he had to have a way of dealing with things himself it has driven me crazy so many times i dont think i can take it anymore but i cant abandon him and my sister basically cant do shit shes  the three of us bought a car and a house altogether and its all under her name shes needy and emotional cant be blamed or the whole family would be on fire cant argue things with her if she think its right cant disrespect her or shed drive the car and run away dont know if shes gonna kill herself i had a fight with her and she had to block me on instagram and disconnect photos on apple clouds shouldnt even kept using her id in the first place shouldve been more independent on my part i cant see points i dont know how to make this stop i finally bought a pc of my own in  and a  last summer i know money cant buy happiness i tried to love some people in my life but i always picked the wrong person and dont love the ones who possibly really loves me i have been abandoned by friends for being such a bad person now there are people who seemed to care about me but i dont think its good to burden them for being friends with them and every one has their own shit to deal with i am so self absorbed i am a bad listener i am the worst person i am like this since jr high my family is a pile of sand no one cares about each other and i and the worst among them all cuz i complain about them i cant get my shit together but it feels like no one listens i should help myself getting out of this i know how but why is it so painful im so numb sometimes but im so sad i need it to stop tldr im so tired is it bad that i laugh when i cry it kind of started last year i feel funny when im crying for reasons im so pathetic it makes me laugh,3.0
24872,good thing i didnt get my new glasses today i just founf a coupon for  dollars off o yay  im excited,0.0
24873,very slow at work but it doesnt look like im ever getting out of here ,2.0
24874,working outside with my mbp not so bad for a day quotat workquot ,0.0
24875,i am home from inventory going to bed lunch with devin stop by the apartment for theadt time   then off to work busy day,2.0
24876,«un día salimos a jugar con nuestros amiguitos sin saber que sería la última vez que lo haríamos»la otra vez leí ,2.0
24877,my tongue ring chipped one of my teeth  thankfully its a tiny barely noticeable chip on one of my bottom teeth back to acryllic rings,2.0
24878,thanks daddythe spider is out of my roomwonderfulnow i can sleep well ,0.0
24879,first david eddings now david carradine ,2.0
24880,blahhhh work  its too cold,2.0
24881,happy childrens day ,0.0
24882,joelkonecny lost in the woods seriously what happened flat tire wild moose so confusedglad u made it home safe ,0.0
24883,my damn lip ring fell out amp now i cant get the ring back in ,2.0
24884,heart aches my chest hurts my tummy drops tears slowly falling down my cheeks how wonderful,3.0
24885,got twitter new account for english study ,0.0
24886,is changingcleaning up her room yet playing with the kittennnnsswell one is sleeping and missing kennay ,2.0
24887,stinger done  now on to graphic design,0.0
24888,this whole late night anxiety thing has got to stop,2.0
24889,irldexter edible  do you go well in a burrito  ,0.0
24890,finmagik my aim broke  it keeps crashing my computer im here most of the time though,2.0
24891,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
24892,i cannot believe my vacation is over    transducers and bullshit here i come,2.0
24893,three airports later im in bratislava tomorrow jtel summer school ,0.0
24894,colinsato or maybe im just slow w the lightbulb jokes wait that doesnt make me sound good oh what the hell ,0.0
24895,claireyjonesy it would be but then harry wouldnt be needed ,2.0
24896,nicolepennell i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
24897,owww god drop by    rumahabicom,2.0
24898,simonsahari it wasnt me just want to find out what is in fire and if everyone is safe its my local area ,2.0
24899,rt pressure depression never arrives aloneit brings along its friends despair selfinjury and suicidedepression is the invisible pl,1.0
24900,awpoordidi hahahahah well i appreciate the effort ,0.0
24901,just got done with family pictures  eating lunch now yummy asian food,0.0
24902,geez rain please stop i need to go to the mall ,2.0
24903,rt loopzoop hello  hour depression nap do you remember mein monaco i made u that bracelet,2.0
24904,rt tyeballew its ok to be sad sometimesits ok to be lonely sometimesits ok to cry sometimes its ok,2.0
24905,developing a crushhehe ,0.0
24906,rt jeppppppppppp uvuvwevwevossas syedsigaraga entah mengapa mak jadi stress tengok wajah kucing ni,2.0
24907,feliz means happy ,0.0
24908,ive been lying to my psychiatrist and parents for about a year hi everyone i just wanna say first off that i am clinically depressed and have anxiety i have had a past of self harm and a lot of other negative behaviors about this time last year my parents discovered my wrist cuts they had no clue how i felt until then so in  grade  years ago i was physically and mentally abused at school everyday i just felt worse and worse each day about myself i could never even say anything until one random day in march when i told my mom about it we talked to the school and took care of the person who was doing it but i still had permanent scars from their actions because if this situation my mom sent me to just a counselor not an official therapist or anything but just someone to help with anxiety i had made the counselor believe that i was doing better so i saw this counselor from  to about february of  grade until she and my mom found out i was cutting then i got sent to a higher up therapist who was qualified to give out medication for issues so ive been seeing her since february and when i first started seeing her i promised her that i would not self harm again i sadly was not able to keep that promise i have self harmed recently actually i know its bad and i shouldnt have but its really hard to stop myself i should have told my therapist about this but lately i have been doing so well in her eyes that i only need to see her every other week now if i say ive self harmed then i will have to restart everything and i cant do that again it was too stressful for me to go throughi believe that i can do this without a therapist but i cant do it without friends i have people who care about me a lot i actually have a girlfriend too but i dont trust them enough to tell them they know about my last but they also think ive stopped i dont have anyone to turn to honestly and its just scary anyway sorry for taking up your time and thank you for reading this,3.0
24909, bearblue i love online bill pay too it definitely keeps me in better financial shape ,0.0
24910, hours ,0.0
24911,kerryinholland i meant the july  bbq   though your bikini bod is def to be admired,0.0
24912,iamryantimmothy  lolhappy kid ,0.0
24913,progresso soup contains  calories but  mg of sodium they always find a way to fuck you over ugh walking it off ,2.0
24914,im in bed eating gummy worms real depression hours,1.0
24915,rt healthline  practical tips to let go of anxiety during rush hour  httpstcosumhmhtokz,2.0
24916,stephenconroy yeah i know but but but old games i like old games ,2.0
24917, oh no  is puppy dog still not back im sorry ill keep my fingers crossed,2.0
24918,living in a blur my life has been a blur for over  years now i cant concentrate on anything and everything feel fuzzy if that makes sense ive tried sleeping more sleeping less eating better and working out but nothing works if anyone has any advice or things i could do i would very appreciate it,3.0
24919,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
24920,off to sleep  bye tweeters see u tomorrow hahaha luv yaaa ,0.0
24921,meh at this point i dont even know what to say i want to just give up but im all that a few people have left,3.0
24922,oh its raining in manchester  now there is a surprise i might start a hitch hikers guide to the galaxy rain god chart  light drizzle ,0.0
24923,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
24924,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
24925,johngoldsby thanks  even with the time difference this is an early start for you no,0.0
24926,rt avirxo kid commits suicideyour parents  omg thas so sad  how could people not know their child was suffering like that all this,1.0
24927,i am bored oh well i hope tomorrow will be a better day got church in the morning thats always good ,0.0
24928,kirstyriley you lazy git ,0.0
24929,compiled and installed the latest wine downloading gecko for it now ,0.0
24930,my life has been so bad it feels like ive lived an eternal hell wow what a shitty life i have i used to be a happy little kid in new york with a lot of friends then i moved to this shithole state of new jersey only to get bullied for being asian and attempt suicide then my favorite grandfather passes away then im diagnosed with depression and suddenly my mom becomes a bitch then i resort to vaping to escape my hellhole then i wait til im  so i can get the hell outta here only to spend my  in fucking quarantine and be stuck in this fucking house with my shitty mother for god knows how fucking long and have my graduation and prom on the brink of getting canceled altogether now my friends dealing with his father getting  and ooh more racism yaywhat the fuck did i do to deserve such a shitty life did the world go to shit the second i was born why did i have to be born to the shittiest mother who could care less about my fucking mental health why did i have to be a senior during the shittiest time i feel like this is all my fault what if im just a burden on this world which is why everyone who had to pop out the same year i did had the shittiest senior year possible if god exists is he finally realizing that im a useless piece of shit who ruins everything is this really it is this how its gonna endim done with this shit ive accepted that everythings gonna get worse no matter what i do my life will be nothing but a useless shithole forever i dont even give a flying fuck anymore ive stopped caring nothing in my life will ever go right ill never go back to that happy kid i used to be im trapped in an eternal hell im fucked completely fucked,3.0
24931,i totally dont understand my new phone at all ,2.0
24932, did you buy the bourne bluray trilogy mate what an amazing franchise of flicks oh and how good are the blues ,0.0
24933,is everything meaningless i feel like this quarantine has given me way to much time to think every morning i wake up feeling empty wondering whether there is a point to lifemy life more specifically i have to keep busy with my school work so that i dont end up thinking too much but the second im idle for a litre bit i start to ask all those questions again,3.0
24934,dis damn usb charger is good for nothin gotta find that verizon store my fone been dead since last nite ,2.0
24935,officialtl love the new moon trailer you guys did an amazing job  ,0.0
24936, it is so sad to see what some people are forced to live in im sure it broke your heart ,2.0
24937,lucydolphin im broke i bought some  lollipops though ,0.0
24938,just finished shooting a hs state baseball game went  innings  hours next game will get started late ,2.0
24939,does anyone feel the inside of their brain get hot when they get depressed quickly whenever i take a sharp downward spiral the inside of my brain feels really hot even when i have no fever has anyone else ever had this happen,3.0
24940,wah twitter firefox killed my tabs  i dont remember what they all were now its gonna bug me all night,2.0
24941,chill out theyre just cats yo,1.0
24942,new puppy  awesome kids fighting over the puppy  not so much ,0.0
24943,only one more day in school and its just one exam  and then i get to wear my graduation dress and then its summerrr,0.0
24944,thinks she is gonna treat herself to a starbucks this morning  then maybe might even go work out laterbut thats a big maybe lol,0.0
24945,marcscott how do you tie a show i want to know how to tie a show too ,0.0
24946, itll probably be youheheit really sucks that legal and lit clashed  good luck though xx,2.0
24947,feels like shes missing in action ,2.0
24948,shower time ,0.0
24949,and there it is depression  years old  have a high level career  loving wife and no children  no friends  i put on a fake smile each day at work acting as if life is perfect  its like i am on a television show and have to perform my routine  when not working its selfloathing  my wife recognizes my pain and shes attempting to get me out of the hole but cantthe feeling of impending failure overshadows all emotion i should have does anyone have any recommendations when finding a therapist  i feel as though i need to blurt out pain before i take steps to hurt myself,3.0
24950,sittin next to casey and simon in dampt ,0.0
24951,playing guitar but still bad ,2.0
24952,trc with a rash on my face and neck ugh  flm,2.0
24953,what do you think will help you now i dont know i really dont know im at the end of my rope here thats why im talking to you because im out of options it makes me feel like i should know which makes me feel even more helpless i feel bad saying i dont know either because it doesnt help the person talking to mei really do appreciate crisis chats and helplines theyre lifesavers and i am eternally grateful to the people volunteering their time but i just really hate it when this question comes up because i feel like it doesnt help,3.0
24954,is soooo tired why cant i ever sleep before  grrrr have no time to be tired today ,2.0
24955, lolyes i know what you meani am pretty even keeled ,0.0
24956,soxpinkpony im not so sure its prob done by comp program that would spit out inconsistent entries ,2.0
24957,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
24958,i need help its taken me a while to admit it honestly in an hour i could delete this post ive been looking at therapy preferably online because cheaper and anxiety anyone have any apps or things they suggest,3.0
24959,i wanna see him ,2.0
24960,thnks for ff and such never on friday  so follow saturday then ,2.0
24961,fuck i just woke up and its like   ,2.0
24962,dancetothisbeat cool sounds like fun ,0.0
24963,garymurning nearly applied for apprentice last yearbut not too keen on fame same for loose women ,0.0
24964,went into the stupidest fit of rage today followed by extreme sadness in my own room seeing people i know on social media have a good time im wasting my life i wasted my teenage years already and im going to waste my  the same way i had a fit of rage today in my own room it must have looked so stupid then i began to cry and now i made the mistake of logging into instagram and seeing what a great time people are having especially on  lol its completely over it was over before it began and nobody gives a shit its fucking pathetic im  years old and have the social experience of a  year old fuck this so much fuck this i wish things could have been different its over,3.0
24965, oh bobbertmove closer to us ,0.0
24966,pamluther ah  thanks  appreciate it ,0.0
24967,why hasnt stephen fry replyed to me ,2.0
24968,its been a year since my last suicide attempt i said to my self after my last attempt i was going to fix my self and become the man i wanted to beyet am still here as depressed as before the only real change during  was that i got a job and added another daily medicinei have no motivation anymore i lost my drivei´ll just go to work then come home and sit playing pc games until next day where its the same routine all over again  ,3.0
24969,its too nice to go to work ,2.0
24970,rt jaslanaye my anxiety always fucking with me,2.0
24971,bitninja unless the class is a commandline app that prints out responses given commandline arguments its useless ,2.0
24972,dad surprised me with coffee and a brownie melt ,0.0
24973,rt  u ever been sad and happy at the same time this me everyday,1.0
24974,at this pt im not even sure nemoregoin into hibernation for awhilei need time to think ,2.0
24975,syafique ooh maggi goreng yums i cant eat sore throat cmin ,2.0
24976,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
24977,lisaveronica what songs are you doing ,0.0
24978,the thing i hate about depression is that it never truly goes away it will randomly make itself known throughout your life,1.0
24979,is there anything i can do to stop nostalgia its killing me memories of the past when i was happier and less depressed feeling like i will never feel like that anymore,3.0
24980,onelastsunrise thank you so much girlie i appreciate it ,0.0
24981,whenever im alone with you you make me feel like i am whole again ,0.0
24982,ohmommy not sure if its her  not sure if i still have the card ,2.0
24983,power is back onbut it blitzed the ac    °f just an hour ago it was   °f  waiting on ac guy to hurry and get here,2.0
24984, maybe next yr ,2.0
24985,i actaully sat and watched a whole series of the hills today thehills this is what happens when your  breaks and its raining ,2.0
24986,jerridkruse ah that sucks  are you bored,2.0
24987,im so depressed i feel no one caresim always alone i have no friendsand waking up is a nightmare,3.0
24988,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
24989,dappy glad to here she hasnt got swine flu for definate ,0.0
24990,toistory noooooooo that was my twin ,0.0
24991,kirstenmouland she went up to a table of old ladies and jacked some of theirs ,0.0
24992,bouta make a fb video wit my nephew ,0.0
24993,i just painted my nails  different colours ,0.0
24994,this isnt just puberty is it i mean i want to die so bad there is no day where i dont think of ending my life i think its more serious than puberty but that might just be the hormones that everyone is so quick to mention i really feel like any friends i have are only giving to me and never getting anything,3.0
24995, neathavent bought tshirts since  up on hiquality ones in singapore even cool silk shirts were only  ,0.0
24996,mm is somewhere near me right now and im home crying ,2.0
24997,swedeepea thx friend i wasnt going to play butler to her anyway shes had another rough teenage nite  these girls r complety twisted,2.0
24998,isupportdemil thanks  im from misssouri you,0.0
24999,im usually the safe space to fall but lately feel way off hi been through quite a bit of a mess this last year some is my own fault but some is random life things i thought i was coping beautifully until about two or three weeks ago now i find myself with very scary intrusive thoughts feelings of complete and total worthlessness etc i feel like a wire broke inside me i dont feel like this is me at all no one around me knows and im scared to admit this to anyone since friends and family have been so supportive already and so happy to see how strong i am my insurance company is trying to locate a counselor for me but idk how long thats going to take and just think maybe i need someone to talk to ,3.0
25000,by the way good morning ,0.0
25001,last post made no fucking sense at allbut whatever i dont care cause it was just that ,0.0
25002,why do i feel this way i have struggled with depression for about  years now it started in my sophomore year in high school but i got better during my senior year however ever since i got to college it has made a reappearance my confusion comes from the fact that i feel like i have no reason to be depressed ive never been traumatized by anything and my family loves me i have a few friendsi just feel completely empty lonely pointless and unmotivated  im very good at hiding it so my friends arent much help when i try to reach out to them they usually respond with are you sure you dont seem depressed or i feel you and stop at that im not sure how to tell them that i think about dying basically every night or just randomly throughout the day i wish i could stop these thoughts but im just sick of existing i used to be so excited for my future but now i dont want to experience it,3.0
25003,noones following me  so sad is freeezingg and is gonna go have a shower right about now,2.0
25004,rt outterspaceswag caught feelings  depression naps,2.0
25005,not wanting to get out of bed ,2.0
25006,working with my mum todayits raining ,2.0
25007,i am off to fashion valley this time i didnt forget the stuff i am going to return ,0.0
25008,everyone needs to see the hangover immediately ,0.0
25009,my computer is battery challenged ,2.0
25010, i gave up the saturday shift this is my mondayand next monday too  totally screwed,2.0
25011,i was rooting for betty ,2.0
25012,i feel like im faking it whenever im going through an episode where i just sit on the floor or in the shower and just cover my eyes i feel like i dont actually have depression like im faking it for attentionbut it cant possibly be for attention because i havent told anyone i know in real life all i do is smile laugh tell jokes then when i get home i cover my eyes grip my head nearly cry its agony but i dont even know if i have depression i logically assume i do because who am i faking myself i dont know if this is common can someone please tell me i havent been suffering for that long only about  months,3.0
25013,i went rev hunting with my clan today it was fun but it was a slow rev day ,2.0
25014,ohguess i gotta plug it all the way in ,0.0
25015,just watch stress relief part  please,0.0
25016,sitting in my childhood garage almost makes me kinda sad i used to be out of building the malibu with my dad and now its so empty ,2.0
25017,nogtheegg awh kelseyy lol its thursday the  june  and your at home on ya computer ya had an hour nap dyu gettit  xx,0.0
25018,iamdiddy get well soon ,0.0
25019,i want to die i cant even come up with a unique title theres not much to say my life isnt that interesting ive been alone for pretty much all of it if you knew me you would probably hate me i feel that most people do i feel sick when i think about myself who i am and where i ami dont want to be here i think if things played out a little differently maybe id be a normal person that people cared about that said something went wrong early on and here i am im tired of thinking about it im tired of troubleshooting im tired of feeling like a subhuman and pulling through each miserable day telling myself i will be happyi want to log out i want to recreate my character start somewhere that doesnt make me feel like a disgusting sack of shit someone that doesnt feel the need to hide so much from the world everyone who has gotten close to me eventually hates me i want to die but i wont do it quite yet because im a stubborn idiot if this keeps up i will kill myself in  years i think,3.0
25020,pingpants my pleasure dear ,0.0
25021,at work ,2.0
25022,waiting for henry alone with my mind going crazy for himtoo bad hes not realim so pathetic ,2.0
25023,doing sudo rm rf  nopreserveroot and then ctrlc is not a good idea sudo was deleted ,0.0
25024,  aww love why you so sad dont be all my friends that i been talking to are sad why im worried for you all ,2.0
25025,counseling im a  thats has been dealing with depression on and off for the past  years or so and just in the past year ive begun having bad anxiety about things ive had the chance to see a new doctor and they are very open to patients with mental illness and it just so happens they have a counselor in the same office sothis is my first time talking to anyone outside of my husband and a close friend so i really dont know what to expect i was wondering if anyone can tell me about their experiences with seeing a counselor and what i can expect etc i have never taken any medication for my problems i have just been trying to deal with my issues naturallylike doing yoga and trying to eat properly the yoga i can stick withthe food not so much  thanks,3.0
25026,got invited to curbcusine marination mobiles vip thing tonight but cant go boo ,2.0
25027,a motivational story to help you cure your depression hi so i am now  years old and i am here to tell you a story about my somewhat hard life  so i was born in  and i had a really good life till i was  years old it was at that time that my mother died  even at that age that was a real shock to me my father became a drunk who left me to live with my grandma and grandpa  he thought that all the time he spent with my mom and me was gone and he did not care at all what would happen to me to this day he still is a drunk now some people would think think the problems with him were finished but they were not he would come to my grandparents house and abuse us  break stuff and that sort of things he would tell me that i should have died and that it is my fault that he became what he did which in that time i thought was right and one time i even wanted to commit suicide also my uncle was not any better then my father he would eventually get a  wife and a kid but he spent all the money on bingo and that type of things where there were high risk big reward games  that would crush the soul of my grandparents and they would also become abusive to me and stopped caring at all what they were doing they even broke my phone just because i did not hear them call me in to the bedroom  that was just a horrible experience and trust me you would not like to live like that but about  years ago i met a girl that changed my life  usually i would be always depressed in school and no one wanted to be with me or try to understand me  they would say i am stupid and would not even look at me when they walked by me they would look at the sky or on some wall only that one girl in my class cared about me she felt that something in my life was wrong and she talked with me and i confessed to her about my life she told that to her friends and they tried to help me which they did they became my friends which changed me and made me who i am now i am now more social then ever  i started working out  going to parties and all in all became a totally different person  i always told myself things would get better and i tried my hardest to change my life  i thought i was alone for the majority of my life but boy was i wrong my friends mean to me more then anything now and i would even die for them since they were the ones that showed me what life really means  i even confessed to the girl that helped me that i love her  that did not go as planned brb   she did decline and said she was not ready  for a relationship and that i respect so for all of you with a case like me just remember people will notice hard work and dedication and will try to help you   you do not need to be a person that others want you to be  you need to be just yourself be a good person that you are proud of that is just be yourself  today everyone wants to succeed and be rich and have a lot of girlsbut you do not need that you just need to be happy and be yourself and trust me people will notice you even if you are depressed beyond belief freely open up to people since they wont ask you about your life to laugh at you they will ask you because they want to help you also there is one more thing i want to mention that helped me to some point there is that one anime called naruto that can help you with a life like that  i would recommend it to anyone that has a life like i had   ,3.0
25028,had an awesome weekend packing for wisconsin and germany ,0.0
25029,newbie here  just exploring stuff,0.0
25030,ill go to sleep early tonight my eyes claim me the fact that i saw so many videos o but it does not matter im  happy  right now ,0.0
25031,itsjoelen aww thanks but im good i get mine from smartampfinal guess i cant buy er cups from michaels anymore tho ,2.0
25032,cosmicblaze and im ok with that ,0.0
25033,sneezing sneezing amp sneezing some more yay sunny day blast that means high pollen count ,2.0
25034,debratan thnx sissy im pretty sure ill do fine ,0.0
25035,burningbush so many ppl on this earth struggle wdepression amp self hate god doesnt want u to hate yourself t ,2.0
25036,you ever just feel numb from the outside i have a fantastic life ok job great kids good husband but do any of you have all of this and more and still feel like youre a failure constantly im sick of feeling this way and have way more ideations than i will ever tell anyone because im terrified someone will try and take my kids away i dont want to die necessarily i just want to stop feeling like absolute shit all the time,3.0
25037,working on a saturday ,2.0
25038,grimesforever im sensing a much needed trip to dead city were setting up the home studio this week too  even more reason to join us ,0.0
25039,i can not call home ,2.0
25040,abandonment issues honestly i just want to vent so bear with me how do i start for the past few years feel like i am growing up into someone that cant really connect emotionally with anyone especially other males in all my life i have difficulty maintaining and keeping relationships mainly because i am not a trusting personi was mainly raised by my somewhat overbearing mother because my father is always busy working a  job when he returned from work i remember always wanting to play with him but he was just unavailable because he was too tired the thing is i was a needy and somewhat sensitive child that need so much love and attention looking back i feel like in a way he had contributed to these issues that im havinghe never taught me how to play sports he never talked to me about masculinity and what it means to be a man he never doted on me or bought me stuffs yet he always bought my sister stuff and doted her very much he teased me whenever i fail at something only seem to care for me whenever i did something worthy of praise yet absent most of the time apparently the way that he raised me he wanted me to be a strong man one day by not being very caring i think his flawed idea on how to raise me backfired growing up my father was present but i dont regard him as a male figure to look up to hes just there an outsidergrowing up i feel like an alien i never fit into these cliques of boys because they bonded over sports which i am not really interested to begin with yes i ended up being very smart and selfsufficient always in the top  of my class because i dont want to disappoint got accepted into one of the most prestigious colleges in my country sadly ive dropped out of it because i want to get away from my parents and move out of my hometown somehow i feel broken inside its really hard for me to make friends and i cant for the love of god form an honest platonic relationship with males i dont know why but most of my best friends are female and although its not a problem for me there are some things and experiences that you just cant relate to the opposite sex i also happen to be gay and its killing me because i have problems getting along with males which is very ironicfunny thing is nowadays my relationship with dad is quite okay i suppose he said to me that hes sorry that he was not really a good father yes i said that i forgive him but theres this resentment and hatred in my heart the thing is i hate him but i also love him pretty much and its making me crazy why cant i just hate him fully why must this love be present in my heart even though he treated me shitty i am also closeted because i live in a homophobic place which also contributes to me feeling shitty and confused and untrustingsometimes i feel lonely yes but i have trouble reaching out to people i just dont know how to let my guard down i suppose i just dont want people to betray me i dont want them to just use me to their advantage i dont know man but its just hard for me i also suffer from bouts of depression and selfharm im clean for more than one year luckily but these days  the urges relapse are strong i have close friends yes but i am afraid of being an emotional baggage for them because honestly i feel like im kinda annoying sometimes with these sad stories and stuffsafter venting i feel better already so thanks reddit,3.0
25041,davidfonseca congratulations ,0.0
25042,gooodnight ,0.0
25043,im feeling especially shitty right now ive been cancelled on twice this week by my friends im always the person to create plans but its never reciprocated and when it is they cancel on that day literally make up an excuse when i ask them and not even text me fuck this dude im just in the mood to drop everyone,3.0
25044,rt gofacts sleeping is a cure to forget about pain problems stress and everything else for a while,2.0
25045,danhack oh right two seats still bad ,2.0
25046,i am going to beat up   i wuv her,0.0
25047,sad asffffffffff,2.0
25048,mcgiff good luck im doing it in glasgow ,0.0
25049,ok i need a break this whole oinking out thing is a lot of work ,0.0
25050,through the stress and anxiety i gotta smile and laugh dontforget,2.0
25051,rt lilacshepad celebrating murrsuitmonday with some stress relief thanks to my blue yeen peen😘💜 ,1.0
25052,down in wellington for the monet exhibition casually just bumped into wayne brady in our hotel lobby  mega exciting,0.0
25053,abhibera no i am kinda ubuntu loyalist ,0.0
25054,dreamers you see everything in colour while the world is getting darker love is on its way ,0.0
25055,fortyoneacres im doin swell  how r u,0.0
25056,anyone like me autistic jobless suicidal i am  and mentally disabled i have no one to turn to this is a fucked up world my dad is a fucking asshole and hates me for still living with him if i had a job then i wouldnt even set foot inside this shithole he calls a house but i am too stupid to be hired for any job why does nothing go right for me the older i get the more life becomes painful as if a troubled past with bullying and ptsd isnt enough suffering for a person i dont get why i am so stupid that i cant even fit in with society and do basic stuff why are disabled people like me even born this world is so seriously messed up ,3.0
25057,rt mishaieckii jareds raising money for depression self harm and suicide charities and i dunno about u but i think that helps our commun,2.0
25058,rt ahhhdi yall ever just minding your own business and your brain is like hey remember when you were gonna get married and then he dump,0.0
25059,i dont wanna grow old ,2.0
25060,smh ashnash amp electriklove ltltlt yall bothneeda take ya asses to sleep ,0.0
25061,is experiencing stendhals syndrome each time he goes down in his garage ,0.0
25062,rt daveepena shows how professional cruise is as much as i feel for cavills sad puppy face here cruise was right to tell him no htt,1.0
25063,so glad to be back with twitter now tell me what have i missed dont hold back i need all the gossip ,0.0
25064,im surrounded by people everywhere i go at home at work at grad school im surrounded by family coworkers and colleagues that make small talk with me i am never by myself at any given moment and yet i have never felt so alone lost and numb i would give anything not to feel this way but i dont know what to do,3.0
25065,my crush is going out with a friend and i am feeling down for context i am living with  roommates we are really good friends and have known each other for a really long time one of these is my really close best friend since years and my crush since a few months im pretty sure best friend and friend other flatmate are going to go out togetheri used to be really bad mentally wise but ive been getting a lot better recently these last few months however this really hurts and feels like a setback ive been crying again for a lot of reasons having dark thoughts again and just feeling like i dont really matterif you might have some love for me i could honestly use it,3.0
25066,blakelewis oh i see  so its like morning there right happy breakfast thumbs up,0.0
25067,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
25068,cooking dinner it seems im always eating dinner alone  but im cool with it atleast i get to choose what i eat,2.0
25069,my favorite ended up to be the bad guy ,2.0
25070, lol no we had family over so i wasnt able to   and i dnt think i should do it rite now since its kinda late,2.0
25071,how do you know if you are depressed im a super shy guy and i dont like to ask people in person but how do you know if you are depressed ithink i am but idk,3.0
25072,mileycyrus thats a lovely view youve got thete ,0.0
25073,i dont like waiting ,2.0
25074,bugh running late again ,2.0
25075,lilyroseallen love ur backround  wanna go back to africa now ,2.0
25076,long day in school today so tiring the guitar sure cranked it up a notch ,0.0
25077,at work listening to the new hillsong cd ,0.0
25078,im just really tired you know i dont have the motivation for anything todaysometimes depression is like a wave of nausea youve just got to drop everything and wait it out let it pass,3.0
25079,what do you when you cant work because of your depression lot of details to throw out im so lost in what options i even have left i have clinical depression generalized anxiety irritable bowel syndrome and ptsd ive had depression and poorly managed it my whole life after i finally escaped an abusive relationship a few years ago i started having panic attacksi do see a psychiatrist i go whenever i save enough money to pay outofpocket to see my doctor and then wait to refill my antidepressants i have to order them online in order to afford them but its a much slower process i often run out of meds before i can afford to see my doctor again to refill themi take venlafaxine  bupropion hcl xl  hydroxyzine for anxiety and trazodone  mg my doctor pushed me to  mg of venlafaxine after i had been on i had a major mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago and had to quit due to my attendance ive given all of my employers a doctors note that i have clinical depression and general anxiety but i dont think anyone understands including myself how that can impact my needs for a job i continually asked my doctor to please list my ptsd and ibs as well as they are just as crippling to my life but i dont think he ever took me seriously maybe it was a language disconnecthe was going to prescribe me  mg   mg in order to slowly move myself to the  mg dosage i asked him if there was a single dosage i could order instead i dont have health insurance and cant manage to order a single medicine twice just to take an inbetween amount he moved me to  instead and i started taking my current  once a day to double it every other day i had no warning whatsoever from my doctor about this medicinei ran out of the  mg because of this odd amount to take and had to wait for my  to arrive in the mail the withdrawals were some of the most awful things i have felt im well read on antidepressant withdrawals and these were the worst ive ever had i slept for almost  hours theres too many details to type but they may have impacted me for the rest of my lifeeventually i get my  mg in the mail and i feel so much better i had almost a full week of what i now recognize as euphoria the  weeks after that i was so overwhelmed i could no longer function i could only cry laugh and never stop talking i was awake for almost  days straight i felt like i was on so much ritilin the slightest upset sent me into a sobbing mess of snot and misery to only clear up in secondsi had to call into work even more and that was the final nail in the coffin for my career i think i cant even think about going to work without almost experiencing another attack i started piecing everything in my past together and this happens more and more often i applied for disability for my depression just at the start of this year i was so broke and unable to find a job that would put food in my stomach but also wouldnt make me kill myself ive only been a burden to everyone and i crossed my fingers and submitted the application i was too terrified to follow up on it i still fall into the idea that mentalhealth isnt really an issue and you just need to suck it up i know its not really true but i think i still believe it for myself i can never finish anything without fucking it up and starting over im so in debt from trying to go to college  timesi dont have health insurance american and i cant afford a therapist or a primarycare physician ive tried to seek out affordable programs in local communities and have met a dead end every time now i dont know what i can even do i cant apply for disability again until its been so long and since i have to get a job to afford my rent and food i cant afford therapy to fix my ptsd and overall i struggle to get my own family to believe how much abuse i went through i cant even function around people outside of my own home without breaking down so then i lose my job from attendance from me being unreliable and awful and because i had that job i cant prove my disability has impacted my careerive always been good at masking my issues around others i seem functional and bathe myself i cant actually eat though from my medicinei need advice i have tried to find local community things for therapy no one has any availability for new patients i dont qualify for any sort of actual government assistance due to the jobs ive had and my socioeconomic background the last few jobs ive had were all fairly decent for being a useless adult with about  and hour so now it looks like im a normal person who just needs to put his head down and work my im so sorry for rambling ive reached out to every friend and family i have and am working on getting this resolved but i dont know if there is a resolution i feel my hole is too deep to climb out any longer,3.0
25080,how do i avoid crashing well im in one of my good periods im doing productive things normalizing the sleep schedule building a routine but eventually there comes the crash this has been my routine for the past  years i spend a few weeks building up then spend a few weeks feeling terrible and doing nothing wash rinse repeative known for a long time that this isnt a good place to be in however i havent been able to do anything about it even when things are good im just waiting for the inevitable falldoes anyone have any tips do you have a strategy to prolong the good times or do you maybe have a way to make sure that the bad times dont last very long id love to hear your thoughts thanksedit words are hard,3.0
25081,madamsalami i cant find one though ,2.0
25082,got my tix for smackdownecw floor  tix were gone  after they went on sale didnt get what i want but hey im going ,0.0
25083,is sick again ,2.0
25084,is this all hey so i do really go out and talk but fell like i want to now lifes good i guess living it up go on long night walks listening to stories and fighting with my head should i do this or that shell be sad if you do maybe you wont get caught just things like that nothing much happens i work a lot and on the night shift then on days off ill go see my future wife and just hang out and cuddle watch youtube and anime its nice she makes me smile but then i go home work some more go on walks the thoughts are dark twisted and i like them at first it was out of anger and hatred for the world and all who live here but it changes when i meet she i now what love is and how colddistance and alone i am and always was i just want to be with her and have a good time living life with her but then the other side is i want to still be alone acting on my thoughts and living life for me alone ive lived the one for so long but now having her i dont know what to do it not that i hate the two sides of me or the many other sides but im losing who i am if not already lost my mind and soul i flip at work and mostly act like how i should while being to my self im left with is this all i am and are you going to do it   do it do it the voices rage on fighting for control so many mes who am i but a hollow shell of a man who enjoys dark things and then being a thing with the capability of love and kindness though i never receive much myself not really going to re read what i typed nor am i probably going to read comments but i just wrote the thoughts in my mind as they came and went ,3.0
25085,missheartcore  and i are sad ,2.0
25086, so tomorrow is a no ,2.0
25087,graduation is bringing back a lot of memories ,2.0
25088,aw kyle is all graduated i wish he was here amp not off at sober grad night ,2.0
25089,  mommy and me  shes andrewsjudy on twitter,0.0
25090, the worst thing with translators is the grammar and slang can be so funny when its translated by those things ,0.0
25091,listening to its america by rodney atkins now its ending ,2.0
25092,did anyone get a checkup when they were depressed and found out they were deficient in any nutrient i have been depressed since as long as i remember my health too has deteriorated i often fall sick every couple of weeksi have been doing a little research and i found vitamin d deficiency leads to constant sickness and depression was anybody deficient in anything,3.0
25093,crystalchappell a lot of us were gonna sleep im even in bed under the covers but ur twittering so no ones going to sleep continue ,0.0
25094,also found out theres an arizona wetnwildoperation starvation has to be kicked up a notch ,2.0
25095,rt ovotay toxic people get so mad when you cut them off like bitch im trying to save my mental health😂😭,2.0
25096,karlap   i hope one day we can go together because the time we did go i dont remember,2.0
25097,my driving instructor found it really funny that i said turny in the roady ,0.0
25098,hangin out with my buddy wesley fisin to go play some bball its gunna b a good day ,0.0
25099,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,2.0
25100,highwayinn yes isnt it awesome meeting our out of town guests they definitely dont know the aloha spirit til they eat local grinds ,0.0
25101,if my parents die i will rather kill myself life is hard im about to finish my collage and dont know what to do next all alone no friends dont believe in love anymore i dont want to spend my useless life paying tax food stuff then die  my mom usually talks to me when i felt down without her guess i will die   ,3.0
25102,how do you cope what do you do to make you forget the pain for a second,3.0
25103,rt newbynewbys every death in immigration detention was preventable  not one of those deaths would have occurred if the people concern,2.0
25104,seriously it is a challenge to fit a  foot walk in closet full of clothes into a  foot non walk in closet  no room for my shoes,2.0
25105,dopesojung that user obviously just hates gfriend and using their big account to spread negativity is just sad,1.0
25106,listening to ghost town by shiny toy guns  kick ass song and cooler video ,0.0
25107, that was when bo was still hot and billie aka lrinna had semi normal lips lol their la storyline was so fun  vintage days,0.0
25108,andytaylorsonic yey holiday monday in uk today  have a chilled day ,0.0
25109,my sister back again i cant do it again shes a narcissist and move back yet again everything been going well but back for less than a day and i already hate it my parents dont see me they dont care and thats easy to ignore when nobody else is home but get so munch harder when she shows back up and all of sudden they care about her and shes so rude and awful to me and they dont do anything about it i just cant this again,3.0
25110,im worthless i was always taught your on this earth too fulfill some set out purpose and for the longest time i would search to see what i was good at and hope to find it but im not good at anything im just average  im not a super smart student at my university but i study and work so hard to get the grades i have which are below average while the person next to me studied  mins before the exam makes a a while ill studied for a whole week and made a d i know i cant compare myself to others but its a consistent thing and it just adds into my depression i had a job interview a week ago my third in two years and in my head i know they are gonna reject me my therapist says to stay positive so ive been saying positive things to myself to hope at some point ill believe it but it never last today i got a email not even a call saying i was not getting the position i cried for hours and got back into my deep depression i am consistently reminded that im worthless and maybe i should just do everyone a favor and myself and just make my exit i cant live like this anymore i really dont want to feel like this,3.0
25111,only one day until i go back to school but at least the sun is out ,0.0
25112,freedomelle yeah that sounds great  ill bring the money to you then as well ps i like your new display name ,0.0
25113,aameen ,1.0
25114,goanimatecom  check out this funny movie  httpbitlyijpvh,0.0
25115,im not very happy today because i didnt talk to my favourite friends xx ,2.0
25116,report  assignment  oed  stress,2.0
25117,niubi bldgs can be imploded to fall inwards this method has been used for yrs  there is rumour that chinese invented explosives ,0.0
25118,seriously needs to lears the words to when it rains ,2.0
25119,got rejected so today was kind of a bummer  last week i ran into someone recently that ive had a crush on for a while  we ended up getting coffee and talking for a while  texted her the next day said i wanted to see her again  we make plans she cancels the night before  repeat scheduling cycle she stops texting once we start getting to specifics of placetime  getting the feeling that choosing to read this as a nonconfrontational no  its disappointing but nothing much to be done about iti wont be alone forever ill have pets forevergot a decent amount of progress made on a hobby project this week tooand hey i was able to be vulnerable enough to say what i felt amp ask her outtheres real progress even if it just feels like sadness right now,3.0
25120,i finished looking for alaska  no more staying up all hours reading for me anymore boo maybe ill stop waking up at  too p,2.0
25121,just read latest issue of girlfriend mag  an issue tots dedicated to lilly allenwat do u think,0.0
25122,at work in this lightning storm i have keraunophobia so now i keep shaking  ennh  more hours,2.0
25123,headache ,2.0
25124,im up im up im up  cinema today i must watch that trailer,0.0
25125,came back after an illness one of the remarks i had come back to was oh hey forgottensteamuser is going to shoot up the school didnt respond but just walked away yeah i know just a joke am i taking things too seriously,3.0
25126,tell me why i still havent seen star trek ive been dying to see it just fandangoed tix for harry potter im too happy ,0.0
25127,it hurts so much i am in so much pain i want to cry but i cant everything hurts so much no one wants to understand i just want to die,3.0
25128,i feel so alone and unlucky i have some good friends cant really complain in that aspect but in terms of finding your significant other or just a one night pair i feel so alone i only got laid once and it was with a friend i feel incapable of flirting with anyone and when i finally muster the courage to try it it nevers pays off i cant stop thinking im going to die alone without finding anyone to spend my life with,3.0
25129,tezzabloke me thinks you had too much ciderpmsl ,0.0
25130,rt chiiivlbes mental health is a serious issue,2.0
25131,work makes me sore ,2.0
25132,and now im all hungry and thirsty and too afraid to go downstairs ,2.0
25133,incredibly cliched at this point but may the fourth be with me today ,0.0
25134,revenind mie somn m dor ochii de la c�t am plans azi o s fie bine quotthe universe will conspire quot tiu asta ,2.0
25135,tantousha for the store  but somehow they always make it into my bathroom as well  ,0.0
25136,too tired to learn  was fun yesterday love ya twittiiies,2.0
25137,the only reason why i dont self harm is because i am a slut almost every night i think about cutting the loose blades sit on my sink i can just walk up grab it and go to town in my thighs no one would know the only reason i dont is because people would know i sleep around about once a week on my college campus sometimes with the same few guys sometimes with random guys i meet on grindr if it wasnt for them i would have fresh wounds right now some days i think i should stop being such a whore but i am afraid i would start cutting again i know i would the thoughts are just getting so strong though i cant stop thinking about it i know if i do cut everything will spiral downwards quickly i just dont know what to do,3.0
25138,the time it nearly happened possibly triggering so wouldnt advise reading this back in  i was going through some shit i had no friends was ruthlessly bullied and my grades were all downi liked and still do like taking pictures of railways so would often go out at night to stations to take picturesone week id had enough id cried myself to sleep every night for a month i looked up a fast train the best station one where the driver wouldnt see me and planned to the minute how id take my life i wrote my note stashed it where they wouldnt find it till the next day it was a friday i headed down to the station tears in my eyes shaking uncontrollably but also feeling a sense of calm it was a small station in the middle of nowhere where only two or three trains stopped a day it was about  min till my train so i started taking pictures until a couple of min before where i put my bag down and stood near the edgeas i waited i let my emotions overwhelm mei was standing there for quite a while i started to think about my family how theyd be affected by this i didnt carethe train never came it had been cancelled after a fatality down the line i went home,3.0
25139,found my earrings in this very nice treasury httpbitlyocmsw  ,0.0
25140,what to do when youre so depressed you cant get yourself to eat anything im hungry and i know i would feel better if i ate but i just cant even bring the food to my face i try eating some of my favorite foods but it doesnt help much everything just tastes bland and the stuff that i am able to force down my throat isnt in any way healthy i really want to be eating right and eating enough but i dont know i just cant get myself to youd think my parents would help but no they just make things worse they have no idea what im going through and they could never understand my depression,3.0
25141,machhyy aw best thing anyones ever told me in a whole week ,2.0
25142,princesstragity my anxiety has just been bad i just feel like shit ,1.0
25143,seriously we would have a blasty  imadedinner eatingbender,0.0
25144,problems every where ,2.0
25145,when im having a great day and my anxiety make her comeback ,0.0
25146,i like summer bc i never fail to slip into an extreme seasonal depression every year,2.0
25147,rt  i wonder if old jim will just come up missing  how did the dr die anyway suicide  are they sure ,0.0
25148,dannypolicarpo i know but app according to net its so much hotter here  ah well i should be job hunting when i get home not sunbathing,2.0
25149,stuck i really dont want anything bad to happen to my parents but their being here is one of the few things thats keeping me alive right now they already had to waste their golden years supporting a weak useless retard im not making them pay for a funeral i sure as hell neither want or deserve counting days,3.0
25150,xmening it up with the rand cineworld still shite  ,0.0
25151, yeah i knew that carmit is also an indonesian unfortunetly she left pcd ,2.0
25152,i wish i had a green thumb i receive plants as gifts and feel bad when the things die on me  mothers day gift  dead dead dead  ,2.0
25153,itscasibaby we are the quotfugazi patrolquot amp our motto is quotif u see a clown point em outquot please let everyone know about us ,0.0
25154,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
25155,so and now i follow my duty get money buye bread in the bakery  i   ,0.0
25156, all of my twitters i just wanted let u know that everyday i personally read all your pages  i follow u  ,0.0
25157,josalina i want some ,2.0
25158,dharkus hey mate ill keep hold of the disc but remind me when im coming home or ill forget ,0.0
25159,man people just dont understand you dont have any idea whats going on with me in my life i had a mental breakdown honest and fully i snapped i dont feel like ill very be the same its so obvious to me and my family because im able to talk about it post about it and figure it out and i want help but no people dont change no matter what dont even try it aint worth it ,3.0
25160,omfg i hate my computer  its a meanieee butt,2.0
25161,i envy my childhood self i wish i could have my old self back the playful one who had the creativity to create vast worlds and charecters who drew pictures although they were terrible people still told me they looked very interesting the person who had motivation to do well in school to push forward rather than just barely wade through the water not because i was smart or because i liked math and learning the water cycle again and again but because i felt that i had a place in this world around  grade i began to let him go in favor of school i tried to bring him back around  grade and i almost felt like i did i drew and made up charecters and worlds and wrote stories again but im in  grade now and hes disspearing faster than i can trace his footprints and his voice becomes more and more faint every time i see an ad or someone tells me that i have a future in stem and that i need to be good at math and science and get good grades and every time my friends talk about all the ap classes theyre taking he gets farther ahead of meand someday when im not able to even imagine him and im left alone with only my current self the person i am now with no motivation and no creativityi dont know what ill do with myself ,3.0
25162, since we are kindred spirits amp both artists as they say once you go to mac you never go back  im excited for you,0.0
25163,rt  perfect time to relieve some stress 😊hentai anime hentaicommunity ,1.0
25164,have a good weekend everyone im burried in my books once again ,2.0
25165,alpower  now that is even better lol,0.0
25166,sasaloves phone phone with camera i sense a drunken mistake that youre gonna regret tomorrow let it be to me ,0.0
25167,is out nowsee you all in a little while ,0.0
25168,no title im feeling more disconnected from everything more than usual i feel like everyone secretly hates me and theyre playing some sick joke by pretending that they enjoy my company or they just dont know that they hate me yet my friend practically my only friend in real life is just ignoring me avoiding me ill ask them a question and theyll stare at me or put in their head phones instead of responding when i confronted them about this they just avoided the confrontation entirely did i do something wrong maybe theyre just tired of having to sit through me stuttering to get through a sentence maybe theyre just tired of me in general maybe everyone is just tired of me i dont know what to do its getting harder and harder to sit there and put on a mask of everything is alright i feel sick tired and weak now everything is just a blur of none of this is real and did that really happen nothing feels real anymore nothing seems worthwhile anymore,3.0
25169,being physically ill just makes my mental illness worse im supposed to go back to school tomorrow after winter break and i wanted to spend the last few days of break being productive and getting my life together but then on sunday night i was hit by this insane virus and i feel like im fucking dying i feel worthless just sitting around and doing nothing productive the body aches just make me want to die even more i took some over the counter shit but my sinus pain just makes me miserable i feel guilty even taking a break for these last few weeks i feel like i constantly need to be working on shit even when im burnt out im already burnt out from this semester and it hasnt even started yet,3.0
25170,abirtmo deff  haha  yeah  be on the lookout for tours in cali in jan    that would be amazing,0.0
25171,has succesfully murdered my poached eggs ,2.0
25172,mileycyrus hi miley my name is melissa jiroux i am a big fan of yours visit my website httpwwwwixcomaskmelissaofficialwebsite ,0.0
25173,downloading music to blast on  stereos  the tenants above me ,0.0
25174,everyone is here were off to party now ,0.0
25175,add my livejournal people  its dead  ,0.0
25176,moritheil no rt of my link of it an hour ago ,2.0
25177,ankitagaba get well soon and no working on saturdays when ill policy use karo ,0.0
25178,oh my god sea fm are playing nikki webster time to turn better music on  short stack,0.0
25179,i just found out my first draw back to reading twitter dont look it a race is taped delayedlol ,0.0
25180,a cry for help into the abyss i  dont know if i am depressed though i probably am on some level my history with depression is vast suicidal  years ago but i thought i was done with that phase of my life im not at all suicidal my best friend knows all of this and select people know bits and pieces ive always been the good childthe good christian girl that everyone looks up to now i feel like i am living a lie i get drunk alone once a month so that doesnt make me have an issue and i have bulimic tendencies so that doesnt make me have an issue it seems that once a month i have a bad cycle of self destructive tendencies that move into full forcei know i have a lot of issues that factor into my unsavory behavior it would be good for me to list them out i think this all traces back to my divorced narcissistic mother my relationship with my father with dementia doesnt exist my first boyfriend broke up  months ago was a manipulative asshole and he still haunts me my identity is wrapped in christianity and i can feel my faithbelief in god fading rapidly i am too curious for my own good i want to explore my mind when its high and intoxicated what im trying to say isi need therapy but i have medicare and the waiting list is a year long and i will be in college by then i know all of my behavior is just a suppression of my messed up childhood low key ptsd from the toxic family environmentdynamicwhat im doing to work on myself my nyr is to be closer to my mother never close enough for her to know my feelings im going to try and get on track with my studies planning on going to a top  college i just want to be better but i dont want it enough to get my family involved ,3.0
25181,ok shopping was far too fun  unpacking the bags now ,0.0
25182,i keep overthinking my future  being stuck in my house is very depressing my brother is back from college due to the quarantine and he doesnt help around the house at all and is a couch potato my stepdad is a major alcoholic and also a couch potato my mother refuses to take care of herself and acts like a baby when trying to do so she doesnt eat well and she throws temper tantrums i dont have the money to move out right away but i am in school and currently saving up for a new car i have severe depression anxiety and borderline personlity disorder none of my parents went to college and my mom hasnt graduated high school im the only one in my family who was on the honor roll and graduated early i have potential but my family is making me feel like i dont its very hard for me to believe that im going anywhere in life at this moment,3.0
25183,marveling over my butterfly bush in my back yard  its amazing what a little pruning can do for a plant  ,0.0
25184,yeah im so excited  not  i get to work out today great cant wait ,2.0
25185,bruthajames i cant follow everybody dude  i wouldnt be able to manage the window,2.0
25186,super sad about losing my adorable black jacket  ,2.0
25187,suicide i feel like i think about kill myself at least once everyday some times i think about it intensely other times its just a passing thought either way i still think about it everyday i dont know if i would ever consider actually attempting but it just sucks having to constantly being reminded i want to die i wish i could either live and not have these feelings or be dead not the shitty in between ,3.0
25188,i want to go swimming but no one to go with ,2.0
25189,video based on dr patersons book how to be miserable  strategies you already use  depression,2.0
25190,i have a really bad hangover  all i want is sleep,2.0
25191,mrsyee yesstyle the leather jacket was from beckey its sold out though  heres a very similar one httptinyurlcomlrwhcd kawaii,2.0
25192,bayesyes anxiety,2.0
25193,stanmorephoenix very welcome when r u next busking i was on pitt st on sat but dont remember seeing anyone busking ,2.0
25194,drunk eating peantu butter cookies ,0.0
25195,  whats up sevgli hey you  lowridergrl im doing ok thx you cristinerafae you too ttyl  oh sowwy lol,0.0
25196,rt relijoon hoseok why u sadnamjoon i dont know nan molla ,2.0
25197,rt livpsy shoutout to everyone who tries to love amp understand people who are struggling with depression amp anxiety i hope you never get t,0.0
25198,i am soo sad about how much it would cost to go for a weekend at a phoenix resort such a bummer ,2.0
25199,phew finally anjal is free of evolutioneds patches pushed all to  need to push webkit patches upstream i need a helping hand ,0.0
25200, aku lum plg liat the announcement psl alum ada ah tpi drg kluarkan statement udh damn ,2.0
25201,the top of the sears tower is pretty sweet ,0.0
25202, and lost here it goes bare with me please and please no trolls ive been struggling with depression since i  i was meds back then cant tell you how i felt at that age when i was in my late teen i had to stop taking them because they werent dont anything to help me anymoreive had my ups and down like most peoplemostly down but manageable i got married had two kids and things seem to get better i felt like i had a purpose i had a great job as a repair technician computer phonesconsoles then my wife at the time joined the air force i found out that when she was in training she was cheating on me and we got divorced after that everything fell apart the kids moved with her out of state i lost everything but my pc tv xbox couch and microwave and car by choice did want a long drown out court battle about  months past then i lost my job i just didnt have it in me to get out of bed and when i could make it in i was numb and slow even though i had a great job i just didnt have the drive to adult anymore i lost most of my friends here in town because they didnt understand what was going onits been  now im still in same boat nothing has gotten better ive had job after job and cant find my place in society anymore i feel so lost i feel like its not going to get better and ive tried believe me ive talk to professionals been one and off all types of antidepressants nothing is working any real advice for a lost soul,3.0
25203,ahh good i can get to mailgooglecom so i just logged into readergooglecom the went there world is no longer upside down ,0.0
25204,making bacon at  am yep thats me smells like mom and dads on sunday morning ,0.0
25205,is it weird i want to die to see whats next sometimes i just feel this life will bring me nothing and im bound to always be hoping or working for more im only  but it always feel like im one wrong move away from completely ruining my life and end up regretting everything by the time im olderit just seems exciting the idea of dying and finding out whats next maybe another life maybe we get another shot at living maybe even nothingi dont care i just want whatever is next i feel im done with this life and honestly for some reason i always feel im minutes away from dying it just feels like im living another day just to not be dead its a weird feelingis anyone else lowkey excited about death and doesnt see it as letting go but as a fresh start,3.0
25206,  hopeful ,0.0
25207,kewsboogie nooooooo ive been doin crap all day  i sowwy wub you,2.0
25208,teste gtalk  plurk  twitter  o que sai no gtalk sai no plurk e vai pro twitter  httpplurkcompovhpg,0.0
25209,hanging out at home gonna get ready for bed soon good nite all ,0.0
25210,am i selfish for being depressed right now i just want somebody to talk to i feel like i have nobody right now any time i try to bring up how sad i am to somebody over the phone their immediate response is that im being selfish and people are dying right now or that everyone is going through the same thing and im not the only one whos sad but i dont understand how thats supposed to make me feel better for context im in college and im in online school im an art major so you can imagine how studio classes are for me and im taking three of them right now when most people recommend you only take one so you can focus on your work one of my professors never responds to my emails and when i tell her about my technological problems she asks for proof first  im alone in my apartment because one of my roommates went to hawaii and the other one went home i dont have any friends because im a transfer student but last term i joined the freestyle ski and snowboard team and some clubs after  years of struggling and hating school i finally was starting to actually do well in my classes and enjoy it it was huge for me and my whole family since its been a struggle for my asian parents and grandparents to accept me for being below average academically i even found a job after applying to places in my new town for a year i applied to study abroad which has never happened bc i suck at applications and getting things done on time i had summer classes lined up just went everything felt it was going right coronavirus happened my job closed down and today the business emailed me saying they dont even know if theyll be able to afford open back up when quarantine is over my online classes suck summer study abroad got cancelled and summer classes got cancelled at my university for art majors because the professors hate doing online studio i woke up at  pm today  pm and my whole life ive had a technology curse starting from when my school gave us ipads to now my brand new laptop that i paid  for crashes at least once a week and geek squad is closed i feel like ive hit an all time new low i dont even have anyone to talk to i havent had a conversation with anybody in a week and a half my parents dont even want to talk to me i feel so alone i feel like there is no purpose in life anymore if this is how it has to be until summer is over then why should i even be alive im going to be so behind when this is over and its not like the university will care everyone else will still be on track and ill be a year behind again also did i mention online school sucks its harder to show up to online class than it is if it were in real life,3.0
25211,manicsue actually or are you just messin me about ahha god im so bored ,2.0
25212,flynnadam wish i was there  have fun  and mention your new joint on stage and to every person you sign an autograph for ,0.0
25213,looking forward to watching fanboys this weekend ,0.0
25214,i dont want to put negativity out there but  is shaping up to be one giant fucking mess for the world and especially my people iran we started it off bad going into  from  and the protests and killings it got worst when trump did what he did it got much worse when people died during a funeral service it got a lot worse when we went to bed to the news of multiple strikes in iraq coming from us poor iraq stuck in the middle and woke up to the news of a plane crash with every single person dead and some of them were students and  were children enough already,3.0
25215,rt  bro fucking deadass i click  fortnite video in my recommended and this is the first thing i see can we hit  likes for t,0.0
25216,has anyone seen my chap block i cant find it anywhere ,2.0
25217,i have got to bid ou all goodnight tweeps need to spend more qtwith  the miniscule before he leaves for the week ,0.0
25218,well that sucked we should have had it on courtney lees layup ,2.0
25219,just crossed into new jersey ,0.0
25220,ok im going to head to bed now and read night all ,0.0
25221,welcome new followers  ill tweet u later im heading for the teapot amp  watch last nighs eastenders i think its dannys funeral ,2.0
25222,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
25223,confusion blame society or my own mind chronic dissatisfaction i look out at the highways and street signs parking lots traffic jams giant retail stores my hours spent in commute and i blame my unhappiness on the world around me i fantasize about living alone in the remote wilderness as a solution to all my problems im even making these plans to some day live off grid but i doubt myself what if the problem isnt society and the world around me but just my own mind  maybe i go live in the woods and my misery follows medoes anyone else struggle with this  how do you sift through it,3.0
25224,christiebrown drinking coffee  im not feeling so good this morning woke up w full blown cold hope it dont last long ,2.0
25225, then can cabut hikhikhik bestnye api tene lik cepat nak ajar final theory  cedih,2.0
25226,beogradoholik when i first got her i was thinking of weenkee or oracle but weenkee is more cool and she has a real winkey on her cage ,0.0
25227,will be celebrating her and her hubbys wedding anniversary soon ,0.0
25228,sensualstories im surprised  ive seen others tweet more than that per hourodd ,2.0
25229,woke up on some bad news now im depressed n just going back to sleep ,2.0
25230,babygrrrl donniedoll right and hells yeah i get a honey what ,0.0
25231,ive been home for less than five minutes and im already in my pajamas and in bed i love my bed ,0.0
25232,fwb with depression 🤔  yo female been single for a while still trying to find myself mentally and emotionally ive gotten to the point where im happy with my single life by that i mean im happy not being committed to someone not having to care about others feelings besides my own which i can barely deal withbut im seeking sexual attention im thinking about gettin a fwb i dont even wanna text them or talk to them regularly just text to fuck fuck then never talk again till its time to fuck againhave you guys had experiences with fwbs is fwb and depression a bad mix,3.0
25233,amnadarainbow too bad ur computer died ,2.0
25234,rip  ill miss you   ,2.0
25235,maheshmurthy thanks dear ,0.0
25236,i dont know how much longer i can take it ive been fighting depression for a few years its only getting worse every time i find happiness its only temporary and i dont know how much longer i can keep trying to change my life for the better there is only so much failing one person can take and im not looking for advice or a pity party im just talking for the sake of talking because im tired and i dont want to do it anymore i dont want to fight i just want to rest for once,3.0
25237,no devils lake for us tomorrow   our basement flooded gotta do  loads of laundry amp everything else before leaving for  days on sunda,2.0
25238,nothing has gone right ive never had anything go right for mei was bullied for so longcompletely insecure as a resultthe one girl that actually liked me was a closet lesbianim trash in schoolim overweightnone of my friends care when i try to talk about thisnobody offers to hang out with me after school or on weekendsive lived in homeless shelters and middle class im very blessed to have my possessions but socially i have been thrown into the gutter to die i have no motivationsno dreamsi have no idea what to do with my lifemy peers all excel with what they do but i can barely speak without stutteringi feel like i make my mom ashamed of who ive becomeim a loseri feel like the only escape i have is death but it would hurt my familyand thats the last thing i want to do,3.0
25239,eating my pizza green day on the radio sitting by the window watching people walk down bustling harvard street  ,0.0
25240,mechanicalbride i know right  its so sad ill miss jonny too,2.0
25241,hi imnot depressed i dont have anxiety i have no mental disorders and i dont wanna portray myself as i do,2.0
25242,petewentz yes because i have an upset tummy ,2.0
25243,i am oficially a tchs alumni ,0.0
25244,rt zohebsh किसान विरोधी मोदी सरकारमहाराष्ट्र में दो किसानों ने की आत्महत्या खुद ही चिता बनाकर लगाई आग ,2.0
25245,kidvai yeah so true i cant look at my thumb the way i used to     ,2.0
25246,rt democratsdgofks breaking  the housed passed the bill to ban guns in hospitals and mental health facilities vote was  http,1.0
25247,i may start getting grumpy soon ah hypoglycemia how i loathe you ,2.0
25248,fanbee si jollibee certified superfan boybandph   hanggang kailan kaya by boybandph,1.0
25249,comepletly and utterly  bored ,2.0
25250,my life is meaningless with all my deformities  i am a biological error and inferior  and undesired   old male  should i really live  i ask myself this question every single minute  and my answer is the same no you shouldnt you are one of those few different people who are just unvisible one who will live alone all his life  life is meaningless to me and i dont know why i am even here eating  drinking and breathing  why  you should be elsewhere you are nothing   my parents dont see my pains and even they think i am good  but i am not if they lie to me i wont lie to myself  they want me to study hard to get a job and then get marry  they think this will happen  but i dont need money i will just feed myself  i live in a country where the fanily is everything and they will ask me to get married  but death is better for me  i will choose to be killed over marriage  it would be a crime to do so  how can i tell my family i will just live alone till i die in my pains  how  its not the only challenge i face  i study in university  and i have been always a top student  i study just to make people respect me  yes i have friends and they love me  they pity me too so they love me  but i am tired of seeing girls laughing at me i really hate them  how can i deal with this  i sleep  a day  because it similar to death  i die half of my life  and i found this a good way to feel better  but what can i do while i am alive how to forget about everything i am still very young and have much time left  i am scared  scared  my heart cries my mouth cries but without making any noise  i am crying while i am writting my pain here  i need advice plz  thanks😍,3.0
25251,yesss walkers are gods special creation he can chill in there while im tweetin it up boo im mad hypee i get to see my boo tonight ,0.0
25252,piled up issues never addressed surfaced all at once due to recent personal challenges all the issues that have been pilling up for years surfaced everything kind of makes sense why i was having trouble socializing when i was a teen despite being a popular kid why i moved so far away from my family why i have such hate for my family but i didnt have the courage to do any selfreflecting always used to think my parents are the bestbasically my father was absent emotionally first time i have spend alone time with my father i was  years old he has been emotionally abusive and rarely physically abusive i used to be the person that everyone used to take out their frustration for petty things my mother was extremely physically abusive but other than that loving and caring super dysfunctional family and i was the focal point of their frustrations my father used to have girlfriends cheating on my mother and often be shameless about it making it obvious to me and my brotherfastforward to today i have difficulty bonding with others i am always searching for a fatherfigure person always dissatisfied with myself always working and trying to do more as if that will make me more lovable too afraid to get into a relationship because i was emotionally abusive in the last one i feel hopeless because i feel like it will never end i am trying to find people to surround myself with that will make everything less miserable but is kind of difficult where i live ,3.0
25253,chlorinekid  i live overlooking a common was thinking of just planting a load of stuff on there but think it would just get stolen,2.0
25254,yassc andaleee ya t cacheee q hiciste hoy eehh x q pecastee  ,2.0
25255,im just so damn lonely the whole time and whats worse is that when im with people i feel like im just a burden and i get so paranoid i feel like im not good enough to be in a relationship with anyone at all either but when im alone it hurts so bad i constantly have this horrible empty feeling when im alone,3.0
25256,had a fun nite out but is now feeling slightly guilty ,2.0
25257,im gonna be a failure my brain just seems to be programmed fun first work later which isnt how life works if people try to make me do it the normal way i just shut down and dont do anything at all im failing most of my classes and my life is just a wreck ,3.0
25258,awww sfhoot has a twitter ,0.0
25259,im singing in the rain even though it not raining ,0.0
25260,nasiharose so its not a big deal u could be my older sister hahaha lets just quotdatequot on twitter and get a feel for it  lol,0.0
25261,zioncleric lol im playing apollo justice right now ,0.0
25262,cookie dough ice cream ,0.0
25263,depressed in my  anybody else on here in their  and super fucking depressed its like it just gets worse with age i spent years getting better and now im in this lonely hole even while being sober,3.0
25264,oh no i just find out what happened and i feel sad i just hope hes okay,0.0
25265,daecabhir im home but my car is not fail ,2.0
25266,vickinguyen awwww im sorry that sucks i cant believe that ,2.0
25267,my best friends are total strangers to me now since we were  years old weve did everything together we hangout together everyday  we play football together  we laugh  we feel good  we have loads of fun  two years ago  i didnt know what happened to me  i started to feel weird talking to them  i began to avoid them  i hangout with anyone but when i go out with them i start to feel weird  i think before im talking  i feel like im being forced to be there but actually im not having any fun  i started avoiding them  i started to isolate myself from everybody  but then i see them i act like im happy i joke but inside me i dont know what im feeling left out but im the one who isolated myself from them  this year is our first college  everyone of us is in a different college  i made new friends that i feel good with but when one of my old friends calls me i dont answer at first then i answer and we hangout and we have fun but then i try to cut myself away from them  i dont know what im feeling im sorry if my english is not good and if what im saying doesnt make sense to you,3.0
25268,is happy i only have to go to the makeup course tomorrow ,0.0
25269,bossmobb im a lebron lover amp u can stop talkin bout himu startin  me feel sumtype of waywe all kno he lost ,2.0
25270,elyssad i love those topics but i find talking about real things about this world tends to up set people ,2.0
25271,sweet pea keeper of my soul i know sometimes im out of control youre the only reason i keep on coming home ,0.0
25272,killkerdead awh thats terrible   how did that happen i think fox is gonna go home next time ,2.0
25273,rt afactspost depression is the result of over thinking the mind creates problems that didnt even exist,1.0
25274,gotta get ready to run to post office to the store and going to ob appt with daughter today having another sonogram ,0.0
25275,and so my weekend finally begins out to dinner with the boyfriend tonight ,0.0
25276,alejandradd thats good i didnt even make the attempt to set up my computer and be there etc  i hope that doesnt make me a bad fan,2.0
25277,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
25278,almost got caught by the cops  a party but escaped  jeffery,0.0
25279,going to explore some hole in the wall restaurants around aiea side tomorrow for our bgourmet article i love mompop stores ,0.0
25280,ohhhleann i hope talking helped im sorry if it didnt  sometimes i suck at talks,2.0
25281,blondeblogger sadly coke zero does have caffeine and there isnt a caffeine free version ,2.0
25282,says swine flu cases still going up  ,2.0
25283,im sick of being told to man up and deal with it everyone goes through a rough time you just have to learn to deal with it so im supposed to deal with constant depressive episodes and panic attacks like its nothing i hate how society expects me to be like everybody else when im clearly not capable of keeping up that facade i dont think the so called others have to worry about sleepless nights crippling isolation or mood swings im so sick of all this why cant we just be accepted for who we are and not pressured to be strong and masculine,3.0
25284, i cant read  last song title but its amazing i feel like theyve finally found the real sound that defi ,0.0
25285,brandika aww good luck  be exciiiited ,0.0
25286,but yea for real can someone loan me € i will pay you back with interest i cant even afford toilet paper ,2.0
25287,jonasbrothers omg you guys i loved jonas it was awesome and aaahhhh i cnt wait for next week ,0.0
25288,snipeyhead balancing the anxiety with depression so the longing for nonexistence cancels out the nervousness,2.0
25289,depression really isnt cool smh its like your mind forces you to be unhappy even when things are going right for a change 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️,1.0
25290,waymorehomemade   im so glad you are too  when can i get some more of that pie btw i could use some right about now  ,0.0
25291,alone or a burden no in between my dad had a heart attack and we are stranded in a foreign country and i have no one i can talk to not just now when things are bad but in life in general i know that my depression makes me more withdrawn and i dont have the energy to keep up with friends but even if i do go out i feel like a massive burden because im like a human rain cloud that follows you around the only people that have reached out to me are guys that i hook up with from time to time as a form of self harm because i dont have any real friendsim sorry for burdening you too i havent wept like this in a very long time,3.0
25292,beautiful out  relaxing for a bit before i go out,0.0
25293,rt iamsrk jiteshpillaai happy bday my friend may u be healthy amp happy also hopefully hav less stress with star managers amp their entou,0.0
25294,mileycyrus how can i support you in mtv awards im indonesian ,0.0
25295, out   ,0.0
25296,i want to be out on the lake right now sitting on the trampoline laughing at people getting shoved off i miss camp ,2.0
25297,infobunny you woke me ,2.0
25298,photo this isnt fred this is his friend ted he met chef tomm poor ted soon hell be dead  ,2.0
25299,my husband twittercomhighwayphantom and i drive team came home in late february and havent been able to find new work in trucking ,2.0
25300,transformers  is coming out tomorrow sadly i acnt see it til saturday ,2.0
25301,cinnamonclouds my new sm said that she did buy that cover for her passport ,0.0
25302,stxherry thanx for the ff yesterday ,0.0
25303,little miss sunshine ,0.0
25304,vegas vegas vegas  one more day  ,0.0
25305,loyalringerlp i so want to start watching lost ,2.0
25306,gailbarton thats good to hear he seems genuine and really nice but then again i thought that about the ncis peeps i was following ,2.0
25307, mixing social media what is with you and breaking stuff also thanks ,0.0
25308, deh i wish the deal was up when i bought my macbook in december  but at least i got  bucks off ,2.0
25309,my friends and radhi are struggling with umb and smup unpad rite now my prayers are with them ,0.0
25310,about to head off for a nice cycle in bath ,0.0
25311,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
25312,exhausted making a grudging start on communist russia dfghrugjhaeghjulhhdfnhjdfkghadughrg   ,2.0
25313,melody can you make the password next week be blue persimmons please   sorry but walter already set it up to be quotkawaoquot for next week,0.0
25314, awh boo im sorry ,2.0
25315,getting frustrated with these different wavelengths around   ,2.0
25316,catwillis go team poncho i cant believe you all are going to the show before me  ill be there on the  but ill come see yall,2.0
25317,hey jonasbrothers hey guys whats ur favorite song of miley cyrus  jonaslive,0.0
25318,avantgardejay yess yes i do love it  do you,0.0
25319,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
25320,jonaskevin ill not sleep well until you see the big message i sent yesterday in my profile  i made a lot of replys to say everything ,2.0
25321,twistedthursday the premier league crown will be back at chelsea next season ,0.0
25322,whiteafrican looking forward to hearing more about ushahidi and afrigadget how do you spell mazungu  ,0.0
25323,kronicflo awww thank yu  ,0.0
25324,mireika wow  it was just a joke a little over the top but stilljust a joke  shes an idiot anyway ,0.0
25325,should be sleeping  lost my voice a couple day ago  ,2.0
25326,xobonniexo umm yea she did and i got her chocolate ,0.0
25327,rt  u ever been sad and happy at the same time this me everyday,1.0
25328,heldersampedro not fair i dont speak portuguese ,2.0
25329,one thing ive learn today both alexisonfire and alkaline trio compliment gears of war  nicely ,0.0
25330,selenagomez you should come to canada  your my idol ,0.0
25331, alternative therapies for depression  as i discussed last month depression is the yin to anxietys yang be httpstcoejfufwflcx,2.0
25332,victoryycoach on periscope victoryyscopemental health needs care toodo you know some of the signsiamvictor ,0.0
25333,rt adept believe it or not i used to be one suicidal mf but damn my nigga my depression and suicidal thoughts vanished at the simple t,2.0
25334,i realized im sick today i was reading something and it just kinda hit me that im actually fucking sick like depression is an illness i realized i just completely stopped thinking about depression like that i dont take it as an illness anymore i would say someone with schizophrenia is sick but i dont call myself with depression sickim just as sick as if i had cancer or anything else,3.0
25335,a simple trick to get rid of stress and anxiety in  minutes  ,2.0
25336,carolynvan couldnt make wiredwedto unfortunately  are you going to spinto tomorrow night,2.0
25337, oh cool i would love to visit australia and cali too ,0.0
25338,rt eliftenenbaum erkek dediğin adalet savaşçısı suni deri ceket sevdiği kadına sadık mizahşör duyarlı şarkı söylemeyi seven,0.0
25339,depressionanxiety and intelligence what are your thoughts on intelligence level and experiencing depression,3.0
25340,noo wayy maths exams this morning im so tired i just wanna go back to sleep ,2.0
25341,cleared monstrous weekend workload starting monstrous weekday workload is there anything else id rather be doingno ,0.0
25342,could not be happier  i got a lonhchamps bag for  ,0.0
25343, sorry about the bat ,2.0
25344,combating feelings of depression and loneliness check out this video ,2.0
25345,i spent the morning with a friend lots of laughs ,0.0
25346,lalaitsmaria ohhh im sorry  who was it,2.0
25347,teradawn sorry youre still up  where are you going in the am,2.0
25348,excited for brownie making on friday with  and her little sister  o my my life is so boring without uni ,2.0
25349,excited for my  shirt to come and excited for this damn shoot to b over with so i can eat  heat plus empty tummyno bueno,2.0
25350,zedrale its rad i might retweet it dont think it got enough feedback  also i just played all my scrabble turns,0.0
25351,xovictoria haha i just looked at your berry picking picture again and it makes me laugh if you do go to maryland take a real pic of u ,0.0
25352,i attempted to commit suicide a month ago it wasnt worth it especially when using prescription pills im still getting through it with my adhd severe anxiety amp depression i hope anyone out there that has considered it doesnt do it,3.0
25353,rt ipraisewomen her insecurity is so sad shes not built to be in the spotlight like this ,1.0
25354,is wondering how much it would be to clone my wonderful dog flower she is chowkia mixi am sad  she is living her last year,2.0
25355,lazyage hbt is so beautiful yes  i love the market too i love when people have visited tas so many havent forgotten where you are,0.0
25356,yayy msn working again   ,0.0
25357,rightgirl give it a try twitter will still be here if you cant ,0.0
25358,friendship thatll never last the reason you will never have a friendship that lasts is because you push everyone away ,3.0
25359,my anxiety is high af because of saturday,2.0
25360,on my way to canton looks like its gonna rain ,2.0
25361,is thrown his english coursework out of the window it now sits in a murky puddle ,2.0
25362,all partyed out  still this side of sick but am now a high school graduate,0.0
25363,ohalisa u didnt offer me any ,2.0
25364,jamiemcflyx liverpool stoke york and sheffield  you,0.0
25365,carinak  nw am hungry  ,0.0
25366,manic depression we were arguing before i shut down i want him to talk and help but he needs his sleep,3.0
25367,my new single and album are almost out check out quotsay goodbyequot from the upcoming new album wwwmyspacecomgabelopez ,0.0
25368,is still on the wagon ,0.0
25369,tired  tired  with a slight headache  ,2.0
25370,cousin is gone  have had a lovely weekend back to revision now ah well gotta be done ,2.0
25371,did i come  this club  see maino amp godjhic said he is not here til wk whattt wowim disappointd orbitsworld ,2.0
25372,yay dinner and movies tonight i love fridays ,0.0
25373,hyperbomb  your brother sounds like me ,2.0
25374,donniewahlberg  quotdonnie rocksquot if u could only here it my  old runs around every where sayin quotdonnie rocksquot ,0.0
25375,that sweadish guy just left  going to school,2.0
25376,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
25377,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
25378,theantikristi im not copying your life haha i kinda wish i wasnt going through this ,2.0
25379,where r uuuuuuuu ,2.0
25380,no more playoffs waaaaaaaaa wat to do now ,2.0
25381, thanks it was a bit out of my comfort zone but it was fun ,0.0
25382, yeah im the same i have decided to sulk for a bit and then go back and try again maybe we should have been russian ,0.0
25383,wellsnew teoretic da practic nu cred ,0.0
25384,just downloaded the quotpretty wingsquot ringtone ,0.0
25385,doesnt want to go back to work on tuesday ,2.0
25386,work pc has died great just what i didnt need really i think its pretty terminal ,2.0
25387,excited about the girls night out tonight with corinne and laura to my boys club ,0.0
25388,fuck my pics are too big to send via twitpic ,2.0
25389,we use jerusalem artichoke in our live formula as the prebiotic live is onebodes stabilized probiotic with  billion cfu ,0.0
25390,does anyone else want to die without committing suicide for quite a while now ive been pretty bummed out and whenever i am just crossing the road or on the top of a building i just envy that somehow my death could be accidental or just wish that someone would kill me for no reason i wouldnt say that im suicidal but i just dont want to be here anymore and it would be easier on my family if they thought it was an accident does anyone else feel this way,3.0
25391,sighing erich walked over to sufferthouwitch and poked her shoulder  momwe need to talk and i think you ,2.0
25392, no i dont good song though sorry i dont have it  how are you doing followfriday,2.0
25393,irishcreamy i knooooooow  its only the lead singer that thinks that ata  ,2.0
25394,inaperfectworld i wouldnt be sore right now id have a full stomach and id have been asleep hours ago ,2.0
25395,lfmbrianarenee try cbd oil for anxiety it may really help you google the info 😊,0.0
25396,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
25397,cosmicmother there are  us and the single has already been released and funds are already going to nspcc   just need to a way of ,2.0
25398,rt mcmurphysminion rodneydavis iamapreexistingcondition bc i have a uterus depression ampanxiety u said u would protectourcare  ,1.0
25399,hopenothorns haha i have crippling anxiety but i might be able to work up to it 🙂,1.0
25400,using an alt to rant i guess i posted this on rtalk but i feel like this subreddit is appropriate tootoo many people i know in real life know my regular account and even though pretty much everyone im close with knows about the situation i dont think they know the intensity of it for me and i dont really want to go through the same talk with  different people itll get better just keep sticking through it etcim  im going to be  this december though cause late birthday shit sucks pretty bad im from southwestern ontario but i wont really get more specific than that i just graduated highschool last year so im fresh out and im taking some time before i plan to go to post secondary universityi dont really know what to do anymore in september of  my girlfriend of a year and a half cheated on me and promptly told me which ended in a break up followed by about  months of lets try to be friends and that didnt work out so i realized it was probably best for me to just cut her out of my life rather than drag on feelings that should have already diedi was really struggling with depression for a while after that i know a lot of people think oh a year and a half isnt really that long but it was the longest relationship ive ever been in and during that time in my life i really did love heri started working in mcdonalds in august a month before all the cheating stuff and a month or two after me and my girlfriend broke up i met a new girl who i was starting to get close with at work we didnt really talk much out of work for a long time and then in january we started texting and basically after  days we were pretty much inseparable we didnt start dating until about a month after that feb  because of issues with her telling her parents she didnt know how theyd react because im a year out of school and shes still in highschool the last  months were absolutely amazing because i finally felt happy again after such a dark period of time in my life after struggling for so long with my emotions and feeling lonely i really found someone who i loved and who made me happy no matter what it was great and then all the sudden out of the blue two nights ago she tells me she had a change of heart and just didnt want to be in a relationship with meit really fucking hurts all i can think about is her and how i miss being with her  nights before she had her change of heart she was texting me about how much she loved me like  weeks before she told me she cried because she was scared to lose me i have no idea what happened to her that so quickly changed her mind and even though we still talk it seems like she doesnt even know either the only idea i have is that because she went on birth control recently it couldve fucked with her horomones but i dont even know how that would impact her and im really just grasping for straws because its driving me insane not having a reasonive cried like five times ever since we broke up i feel like im losing everything i got rejected by my top pick university because i got distracted by the first ex in the story and i fucked up in highschool so im in an online course trying to earn a credit that i missed my girlfriend just broke up with me im working at mcdonalds and i have basically no friends left in my small town i feel like i have nowhere to go for the future my parents are driving me insane and i know they care about me but i cant deal with them constantly putting pressure on me i just want to give up i dont have energy for all of this and it feels like this breakup was just the last strawi was okay with staying back for the next year because i figured id atleast have my girlfriend to spend time with and now she just suddenly felt like she didnt feel it anymore and went away she said that if she ever changes her mind shell let me know but i know that it wont happen and ive just been depressed since theni feel like its pathetic to be so depressed over the end of a  month relationship but she brought me out of such a dark place it feels like im going back to square one again it feels like every time im comfortable with life and i finally find some happiness it just gets taken away from me somehow and even though i know all of this sounds super angsty and edgy it feels terriblei know a lot of this is just random rambling thats loosely connected so ill throw this in too because i have nobody to talk to about it i think i might have bipolar disorder and i dont know what to do about that i know my brother was diagnosed with it a year or maybe two years ago and him and i are very very similar emotionally i feel like im not in control of my emotions and i dont know how to handle the situation going forward do i see a psychologist do i get a formal diagnosis a therapist a doctor im so fucking lost but the last time i brought up mental health to my parents i brought up my severe anxiety in  nothing but an empty promise of seeing a therapist and getting some help happened and life just went onif anyone wants to talk about my situation i would really appreciate it ill try my best to respond in a timely manner because i dont really have anything to do i just feel like im running out of energy for life and theres a huge part of me that just doesnt want to go on anymore im not going to kill myself because  im too afraid and  im not that stupid but fuck i just wish i could dip for like  years until my life is in better conditionanyways thats all i wanna talk about comment if you want i really just need someones perspective maybe someone who isnt just a  year old because everyone my age says the same things and i feel like nothing is helping me thanks and if anyone wants to talk personally feel free to dm me for my discord username,3.0
25401,wow think this was the best homecoming everyeah notits bad when u feel like ur parents dont want u home ,2.0
25402, leaving unhappy about it but if i walk  in rain i will get sick sad tho,2.0
25403,had the army day today although tr zip wire got closed because of the wind  o well driving lesson now ,2.0
25404,idk has anyone found a solution yet i just cant seem to get out of this lonely and sad feeling sometimes i really feel like i would be better off gone but i know i would never do it but everyday i feel closer to being capable and it worries me how can one forgot someone i just remember every mistake and certain stuff brings back such vivid memories as if i am in the actual moment itself i made life changing decisions to forget about everything but i dont think it was the best choices ive wasted so much time and burned through thousands to distract myself but thats all they were distractions and they dont last long and the distraction effect wears off cant seem to find a permanent solution,3.0
25405,terrible baroda trip super hot super humid dented the car door no dinner at goodies  on the  side i got a kings xi mug ,2.0
25406,crazybrave link no good unless you are signed in as a customer ,2.0
25407,thanks for the birthday wishes all two of you hehe ,0.0
25408,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
25409,now its my own anxiety that makes the conversation hard,2.0
25410,djaffect lmao patron time  i will be in the house ,0.0
25411,lilmofan me too but its all good i own the masters  pls believe i will be doin them songs again cant keep me down  long hello,0.0
25412,is really annoyed that i lost all the photo files ,2.0
25413, hey hoe  i like ur pic  smokin okin,0.0
25414,im dissapointed in myself because i created this account ,2.0
25415,called into work later rock on ,0.0
25416,just got some new fabrics in today people  ,0.0
25417,davidarchie why arent you coming to the fair tour dates  i love you and demi so i bought tickets for the tour but then i found out,2.0
25418,well done kirsty and lee unlucky jason   bloggers rock,2.0
25419,rt carxlinv depression hours at it again brb ,2.0
25420,its rainy again to the  day this wk this kind of remind me of the uk  kind of so what did you do today,0.0
25421,back home ho hum ,2.0
25422,technex yeah he sure could too bad hes no longer with us  ,2.0
25423,jewelsxo i like my joolee shaped friend and i miss her ill be in chitown soon i should see you ,0.0
25424,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
25425,why are austpost soo stuck in the dark ages with package tracking grrrrr ,2.0
25426,youngq  please pass onto the new kids how devastated we are that arent giving us full service  we not worthy of facetime so it seems ,2.0
25427,is sad clint hurdle got released i liked him ,2.0
25428,winina good i warn you dont shock when you seeing the answer paper ,0.0
25429,i dont remember the last time i was excited thats all i just walk through life trying my best to not let on that i dont feel anything its very hard and it feels pointless i realized today that i might very well already be a failure ive had so many great opportunities in my life and ive consistently done nothing with them i was so interesting and passionate when i was younger and even though im only  ive already become soboring im sleeping on a mattress on the floor and argue with myself daily about taking a shower there was a time i was gifted and had promise and now im a  with nothing exciting planned and nothing to be proud of i just needed to get it off my chest have a good night,3.0
25430,woke up with raw lips still clogged ears and nose and an awful sore throat when will this go away ,2.0
25431,i think therefore i am if i think negatively i will have a negative existence and perceive only the negative things in life if i think positively i see the blessings in life im the problem im the solution im done being a burden on people since hurting myself ostracizing myself and killing myself would burden others the only solution is to heal myself include myself and live for myself and loved ones idk i want to be happy god damnit fuck all this depressed shit even though its been like this for  years now im done victimizing myself idk why i feel this way but i think i know the way out choosing happiness exercising even if it wont mean anything making music even if no one cares making money even if its never enough trying even if it feels like im gonna fail loving even if it is unrequited dont be a creep tho or met with hatred theres already enough hatred and animosity in the world and within many individuals so its almost like a duty to be positive and to contribute to society positively if i can make  person smile or help  person somehow then i wasnt a wasteedit a word,3.0
25432,rt katupendi being the only girl in a lift ,0.0
25433,  pleas dont hurt the little man ,2.0
25434,nevadawolf i hear ya sister blocking spam is becoming a part time job  have fun with the new cache ideas,2.0
25435,have a problemwe are going to ripe at the seemsso gonna have to learn more names  how awesome is that ,0.0
25436,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
25437,rt kaytreednj depression sucks,1.0
25438,casualrepartee because you are a natural night owl ,0.0
25439,frostyjan enjoy the ride ,0.0
25440,kemana ya  itu kok blm balik sihill be late for my appointment niy   ,2.0
25441,zilaya again aku mauuu ,2.0
25442,up is coming real soon early buzz is fantastic  ,0.0
25443,midnightplue lol go get yourself some pretty clothes ,0.0
25444,rt yikessamira sad ,1.0
25445,gma quotdont worry about graduating in the winter i like cold weather i can pull out my mink coat and style on emquot ,0.0
25446,sweet dreams to meand you nite ,0.0
25447,kirilouise that sucks ,2.0
25448,my phone isnt working so i just have to sit here going crazy im hungry too ,2.0
25449,funkykiwi i have designed a couple of my own tattoos and i designed  tattoos for a friend ,0.0
25450,this is actually me on god ,1.0
25451,will be volunteering tomorrow  ,0.0
25452,rt sallimonxchile its crazy how people will paint you as a bad person just because theyre insecure and dont want to admit theyre the,1.0
25453,fun day dollywood lake with friends teaching tomorrow morning at the gathering last cspc talk ever ,2.0
25454,ive never been so tempted to commit suicide it sounds stupid ive had to put up with some serious shit the pass couple years but no matter how bad i got i always wanted to keep going because i hoped it would get better in some ways i still believe my future might be amazing that ill actually have a life but living around my mom has changed that she has some serious issues herself that she refuses to acknowledge and whenever shes angry or upset or mildly inconvenienced im the one who gets dumped on i feel so awful so restless and empty and then something happens to my mom and the emptiness is momentarily replaced with rage and betrayal and then ill be in a tailspin for days i cant ever do anything right if i dont constantly thank her im ungrateful if i do constantly thank her im insincere im not adult enough in her eyes to contribute anything of worth but im not a kid anymore and im not pulling my weight if i do everything she asks theres always one thing that wasnt quite perfect if im having a particularly bad day and cant get anything done i never do anything to help her it goes on and on and on but it wasnt until tonight while she was yelling at me that the intrusive thought popped up if i was dead i wouldnt have to deal with this if i was dead i wouldnt have to deal with the emptiness and betrayal and genuine heartache ive seen several reddit threads where the question what keeps you from committing suicide is posed and some people answer my momdad would be sad truthfully i think my mom would be glad to be rid of me and the only thing thats keeping me going is spite,3.0
25455,sarahjpin  sleepfails are horrible im sorry anything i can do from over yonder,2.0
25456,lmao meegano ees playing story of my life ,0.0
25457,out june  comes with a bonus dvd at best buy    ,0.0
25458, looks like u had a  time  i also need a big break dont know when will tht be poss for me ,2.0
25459,omerrr i was hoping subzero was an ice creap party ,2.0
25460,life struggles i am a  year old going through the last year of high school on australia who suffers from an anxiety disorder since i was  have had bullying throughout my life and the stupid decisions ive made to make myself feel more free to what i want yet criticised for mostly alone in my room just throwing money at games i play slowly beginning to struggle with school work i have a habit of lying in order to feel like i could make the situation im in a bit better for me leading to fights with my parents i use food as a small mechanism to help myself thats why i weigh the mental demons are slowly but surely eating away at the sanity left over in my head i am seeing a professional and try to pass successfully in school with the help of teachers but its still ruining my brain where any form of enjoyment for me is like a mood swing from a depressed state to a high of happiness that ends ij a split second after itim constantly hiding my true feelings in front of my friends by laughing along with jokes and stories but i find it incredibly to admit it to them,3.0
25461,about to do work on some cdjs at xlounge no turntables ,2.0
25462, i wish i lived in atlanta,2.0
25463,rskrista hahaha ugh im gonna be so sad when they tour and i dont see his fun bouncy hair ,2.0
25464,it was a lonnnnng but good day now goodnight ,0.0
25465,adultbirthday its a strange mixture of pride and anxiety for the goldfish bowl of intellect youre confined to,1.0
25466,newtgingrich  keep doing what you do ,0.0
25467,henriquearroba  how was your day i miss you ,2.0
25468,beeswaxoverdryv no offense but dont smoke and skate and twitter its dangerous   and get some rest ,0.0
25469,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
25470,when youre the one whos depressed to what extent should you expect your partner to supportunderstand you do you think its difficult if youre the depressed one to feel connected to your partner are you worried that they see you as less for it,3.0
25471,curtisdickie omg do i ever feel like an ass my phone just updated with your voice mail from monday im sorry i would have gone too ,2.0
25472,i cant belive high school is gonna be over next week ,2.0
25473,melissacrow feels just like the end of last year looks like its time for another chacha break ,2.0
25474,mummy and nathan not in today on my todd ,2.0
25475,rt captaenken ppl that dont like snsd are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated creatu,0.0
25476,mums phone is complete  screen protector amp silicon casing all safe and set  oh mine too but i need to send my phone for servicewoosh,0.0
25477,dayofgrace atleast i dont have to worry about loosing any hair when they hit me oh now im just sad ,2.0
25478,the sun is shining no wind its gonna be a lovely day  im takin lucy for a walk anyone care to join ,0.0
25479,rt binglinhu i think a lot of white folks dont realize that racial anger is a manifestation of anxiety and anxiety is ex haus ting,1.0
25480,piyasroy youre so luckyim jealous  what are you gonna be up to out there i love la,0.0
25481,i wanna see it  ,0.0
25482,reatlas  clean me,2.0
25483,mileycyrus shoutouts please u never do that  or you could text demi and tell her im her  fan  haah ily both xoxo,2.0
25484,everyone i know is happier and more successful than me yeah yeah i only see their highlight reelat least they have a highlight reel you can see from a mile away that my life is shiti think theres something wrong with me as a person im always going to be a fuckup im always going to do worse even if i try ten times as hard whats the point,3.0
25485,omg havnt twittered in  days life gets crazy just trying to get mum better  xoxo peace out,0.0
25486,nicolebarnes ahayeah i picked up on that  ,0.0
25487,didnt utilise my sunny saturday nearly as well as i should havewill regret it around  tomorrow night ,2.0
25488, i just woke up from my depression nap,1.0
25489,ohmygod rip taetaes grandpa 💖this is such a sad time for his family i hope they take care of themselves 💘,0.0
25490,bongleech ahh no its not  ima be late to school ,2.0
25491,meeting laurenconrad  in austin june  without loveesierra  ,2.0
25492,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
25493,elleipein aww honey im sorry ,2.0
25494,looks like championship for newcastle i am sad because i always enjoy being in away end at st jamess i wont miss their pies though ,0.0
25495, that want more than a bootishcall,2.0
25496,awake with iamglenn and getting ready to see up soon with sososhawni and her boo cant wait wish i was at sfwordcamp too though ,2.0
25497,i really miss my therapist its been almost three months since i stopped going to her because i cant afford the sessions anymore and even though i try my best to act like if nothing is happening right nowit hurts and its even worse when i try to talk to my mother about it since she gets easily mad and her responses to my problems are always youre not fucking satisfied with all im doing for you alreadyi have some friends but i just dont feel like venting to them theres a lot of things i want to say but i know theyre not professionals so they will not know how to handle it if i go too far and theyre just going to say dont worry im always here if you need me  which i truly appreciate believe me but it doesnt feel like an actual advice or a good talk at all i dont know what to do because thanks to that i havent even talked to my best friend which have been quite worried about me too i just want to rest and be in a quiet place when i used to talk with my therapist she was pretty understandable about everything i said and would be calm and nice about it even if i started to panic out of a sudden it felt so nice i was happy when i had to go to her every week but now im feeling more empty and my head hurts a lot the more i try to motivate myself again i guess my meds are keeping me from thinking worse things at least things were pretty good a few months ago i used to go to the gym often and i could forget what stressed me for a while but it didnt last i felt uncomfortable around the place and decided to stop going its summer here so i dont have to worry about my studies im often here reading and joining some discussions sometimes i read some books also to distract myself but still the feeling of emptiness is incredibly annoying and it doesnt go away i didnt know where else to post thisso thank you for reading i am really hoping i can talk to her again soon or i dont know i dont want to go through a crisis again ,3.0
25498,woke up and forgot was on boat looked out window and the geese army were in formation infront of boat ,2.0
25499,hey stupid i like you ,0.0
25500,rt donnyroyalty im so sad that we might not get this kind of event anymore because of what happen this news even reached to kr produce,0.0
25501,duncanmoon thanks  makes me feel better,0.0
25502, misses someone  how do you fall out of love,2.0
25503,melissas dog angel is home from the  dollar vet billugh  she is still very weakcant walk or even stand up on her own ,2.0
25504,is playing the guitarr ,0.0
25505,slight headache throat hurts runny nose i think im sick ,2.0
25506,two gloomy days in a row i miss the sun ,2.0
25507,i missed the quotdirty jobsquot marathon nooooo sigh my night is now mike roweless ,2.0
25508,off to dinner with the boys twitter has been way too much fun today ,0.0
25509,cant understand why im so tired after  nights of good sleep ,2.0
25510,the earth will survive we will turn relic big stupid people stupid ,2.0
25511, lesson learnt i look like a rock star from kiss haha ,2.0
25512, howdy yalli just wanted to share my story in hopes it may help on of yall currently going through this dark time ive always been prone to periods in my life where i had self doubtdark times ive always had low self esteem triggered by the fact that i was a very hefty kid growing up i hated my life at various points these past few years and suffered dramatically from huge weight fluctuations all of this really cumulated my senior year of college when i realized my gpa was trash i had gained over  lbs in  months and my best friends had graduated what got me through it all was those odd peers i had met throughout my life that i never really considered friends i reached out to a few peers and surprisingly they entertained me and even had a few drinks with me honestly they were the only human contacts i had for that period of my life eventually i graduated found a job and got my weight under control but by than the worst of the storm had passed i never thanked them or even really told them i was sad to be honest i guess the point of this whole story is i can never thank them in person because we just never got that close but for those of yall who have ever been nice and went out of your way to help a peer who looks like theyre struggling thank you you may not ever know it but you could have very easily saved someone from taking their life just by grabbing a beer with a fellow peer thanks yall and have a great night,3.0
25513, im watching it ,0.0
25514,i love sonnyjoeflangan s tweets they are random and funny ,0.0
25515,bummer my favorite pen just ran out of ink ,2.0
25516,belly button done today then seeing my nefew  hungry and bored  might go to the marianas trench concert cant wait   ily ,0.0
25517,i miss my darwin pants ,2.0
25518,lots of quotplusquot compng from nintendo not looking good  no claps yet  ,2.0
25519,subclipse svn is not working as expected today ,2.0
25520,making a princess cake with briss ,0.0
25521,im a high school senior that has no clue what to do hey guys new to reddit and i felt like my first post should be one i feel strongly about im close to the end of my senior year and im going to college next year but i have no clue about what im going to do with my life everyone in my family expects me to do great things but i cant see it in myself i worry about letting people down i worry about all the things i couldve done and i worry about the future all these thoughts give me anxiety and depressionmost of the time i wish i could just disappear and not worry about life i really just have no motivation and hope for anything ,3.0
25522,wish i couldve gone to talleys tonight  but no i have to clean house,2.0
25523,ya im suspended again   gt n its da last dayz of school,2.0
25524,can someone just tell me ill be ok im generally healthy going through some slight complications but nothing permanent or deadly its just hard to feel like youre getting better and something pops up again i dont talk to anyone about by myself its hard to even let myself cry about it because im ashamed and embarrassed i just need to hear from someone other than myself ill be okay and i still deserve to be loved thanks,3.0
25525,omg its  amp kyra  old daughtermonster is still asleep ssshhhhh   ps ive got a sore tummy fm last nites curry not happy ,2.0
25526,about to leave the job cnt wait to see my sick baby ,2.0
25527,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
25528,loving the weekend ,0.0
25529,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
25530,too damn hot in gothenburg today need a cold shower but hey its  day  a sunny day at the computer patrick,0.0
25531,ilovecolbyo its so much fun lolim sooo tiredi have had a headache since  last night ,2.0
25532,yum really good first weight watchers recipe dinner ,0.0
25533, its actually kind of sad that he continually went through that matty ,2.0
25534, yea thats usually how it goes lol but im mad you got drunk witout me homie ,2.0
25535,jesssicababesss your soo lucky i finish in  the begining of july ,2.0
25536,mrsvampreezy bier is the best ,0.0
25537,rt upbeatjeon jikook harmonizing with each others voice is the cure for depression ,2.0
25538, youve started following me  do you mind direct messaging me to tell me how i know you ,0.0
25539,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
25540,got so much done today i have so much fun stuff going to the shop with me tomorrow including pretty plants for my flower box ,0.0
25541,i make that  posts from iaindale in one day  ye gods ,0.0
25542,every story has an end but in life every end is just a new beginning   tonight party like a rockstar big fm party in mannheim,0.0
25543,wow its gonna be interesting twitter ,0.0
25544,davidjroth neontaster oh yeah ill totally tell my girlfriend her power fantasy is going to bring down the whole ,1.0
25545,janeakshar i bet you thought youd escaped having to read weighty tomes of documentation  bwahahahahahahah ,0.0
25546,robynnnb didnt she sing with them at bboozle ,2.0
25547,mzrenlee i live in north jersey now  but i jus tried smokin lol its ite,2.0
25548,this wedding is giving me so much anxiety,1.0
25549,fabuliz  oh yea the media had gotten really bad with them and its such a shame cuz its those kids are gonna suffer ,2.0
25550, thing that helped my depression reading about depression i have future plans that requires quite a bit of education on this illness so i collected a handful to begin when i began to study it further like a student would in formal schooling the nonfiction kind of boring books 😬 i was in my mind getting ahold of my depression even winning the battlethe more i read the more i began  and still notice that not only was i not close to being freed i was very much still in within its cold lifeless grips be that as it may and this is my main point the knowledge of this particular mental disorder has accelerated my own recovery and all where it lives in my brain what i can change and in my life is being excavated prepping new ground to be built upon its hard to see something you cant see and for something that is slowly stripping us of pleasure and even the will to live i think it would be beneficial to utilize a resource that can help us see better which comes through studying it its helping me anyways✌️ and i think sun tzu would agreeif you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the result of a hundred battles if you know yourself but not the enemy for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat,3.0
25551,man it must be years since ive heard this song ive missed it way more than i thoughtoh the memories of being a tweenie ,0.0
25552,sigh my sisters bein strange she came all the way from copenhagen to london and now her phones turned off i wanna see her dammit ,2.0
25553,havent had a shower in  days its so hard to go out of bed ive been eating junk food or not eating for days i cant find motivation,3.0
25554,so im going to stop tweeting for now til later bye everyone ,0.0
25555,i hate this subreddit i hate seeing all of you beautiful people that are struggling i struggle too but fuck man it hurts that there are so many people here  subscribers i hate myself and i just want to fucking end it i have few places left to turn to and ive selfdestructed the one friendship that mattered to meand im just another post here just another text lost to the void of suffering ill get drowned out by the next post and the one after that because these things get posted fucking minute by minuteim not helping my cause here but im having a really rough time and i want more than anything in my life to either go back and fix my life before i ruined it or just stop altogetherpeace,3.0
25556,any body know how to work a tv that sayss no signall  stressed outtt i need tvv in my life,2.0
25557,im afraid of sex so i had the opportunity to lost my virginity a couple of times and i just couldnt do it i started sweating and had a panic attack on each time the reason when i was a child i was raped by tourists girls in a swimming pool yeah a boy got raped by girls  there was like  of them and their age was around  i think i wont get into detailsthis shit makes me feel abused every time someone touches me with sexual intentions because i just start to remember what happened and i think that person is going to hurt me,3.0
25558,dude that sounds pretty fuckin bomb ,0.0
25559,sitting in cineworld awaiting monsters vs aliens in  got my specs on in anticipation ,0.0
25560,wilkiewilkinson soo wish i was  good luck with itnot that you need it,2.0
25561,christiinn aweee baby mamma i hope tomorrow is better for you ,0.0
25562,lots of monsoon rains in chiang mai right now and there are many fears that were going to see the massive floods of  years ago ,2.0
25563,i dont really know what im feeling i dont really feel anything anymore i felt so much sadness over the past few months that it feels like i stopped feeling all together like it was some sort of defense mechanism things that used to make me happy dont anymore i could look at a funny meme and chuckle for a few seconds but thats the extent of my happiness currently ive had to force myself to put my phone down and go to bed at  the past few nights because the doubts and thoughts dont ever really leave my head ive been feeling quite exhausted lately even though i havent done anything i dont really think its depression and i really dont want to be one of those people who go around self diagnosing themselves because theyve been sad for a couple of days and i know depression has to be prolonged for it to be diagnosed i dont think it will last long enough to be called depression but you never really know anymore,3.0
25564,steveweber or if it promises to make you  in  days ,0.0
25565,im too cool for the nerds too nerd for the cools too christian for the no religious ppl and too no religious for the christian ive felt alone all my life had some friends but i just never fit in even too emocional for the happy ppl and too happy for the emotionals when im feeling down have no one to trust cuz they just dont know what to say but some of them are always so down that i cant tell them im also down cuz they get so emotional and unestable is like a prison where i could talk but it never matters or it matter way to muchi wish i was just normal,3.0
25566,chimeracide really sad that honesty is seen as unattractive these days,1.0
25567,cant wait for the new moon trailer ,0.0
25568,i forgot how to love and how it feels i got a girlfrend but i dont know how to form feelings of love and now i think i might tell her to forget me and find something better may be its only the depression talkking but im lost ,3.0
25569,ricwi happy birthday btw ,0.0
25570,jennyowenyoungs i cant believe youre coming near me but to a place that i cant get into  i love you jenny,2.0
25571,i think im going to get a scolding from bro ,2.0
25572,is leaving the beach ,2.0
25573,youtah pics will come later  btw  great fireworks last night,0.0
25574,kettle is broken  good thing we got a very nice oldschool kettle for our wedding so we always have a backup,2.0
25575,haha ill keep you warm ,0.0
25576,cashewnutt omg you have so not finished lol i wish i was finished i still have heaps to do ,2.0
25577,i just found out i am hiv positive and might have given it to my partner right before i leave the country to study abroad the title is pretty selfexplanatory at the beginning of last week i went and got a regular std screening done and two days after that i got a call saying my test results were all negative a few days after that i got a call from the state saying i needed to come down to one of their offices and talk about my health they told me that my primary doctor misread my test results and that i was hiv positive i have been dating the love of my life for months now and the night i found out i had to have the hard conversation that i might have given him this disease i have been trying to be strong and be there for him but im dropping all of this on him a week before i leave the country he is completely depressed but he still loves me for some godawful reason but its not the same anymore i have so much i need to do before i leave to study abroad but i cant eat or drink water and ive been losing sleep every night ive been having dreams about my plane crashing as i leave the country and they arent even making me sad when i wake up i end up wanting it to happen this entire ordeal has reignited the flames of the depression i had when i was deep in the closet and felt like i would never find love once my partner realizes that its best for them to leave me i know ill never find love again especially now,3.0
25578, im not  first rejection and then a stupid spider and then my nail woe is me lol,2.0
25579,good things dont make me happy all it does is make me anxious about how i could lose eveything thats making me temporarily happy i dont want to live because i cant handle the lows and the highs dont do anything for me i set a date to kill myself last year and im halfway through the  years id set to fix myselfnothing has changed yet i have changed eveything i can as painful as some changes were to makeim always going to have this sinking feeling in my stomach and my chest,3.0
25580,is watching vicky christina barcelona  spain is sooo beautiful   ,0.0
25581,im not sure where to go i was diagnosed with depression when i was  and have been on medication since   now at the same time i was put on medication i was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder which is basically a less sever form of schizophrenia but still pretty terrible i hear voices all the time that tell me to kill or hurt myself which just feeds into my depressionabout two months ago my pharmacy ran out of my antipsychotic and i went a month without medication during this time i cut up my arms pretty bad went to a mental hospital for treatment failed my semester at college and lost my jobive run out of money and relay on my parents to fund my living but they can only help so much i applied for disability with social security but they said it could take  to  months to get the application processed and that doesnt mean ill be accepted ive tried applying for jobs but no one will hire a schizoeffective person with a history of not performing at previous jobs i called my dad today to let him know where i was financially and what i needed to get by he said he would do what he could and get me the money but i could hear the strain in his voice that i a burden to them that they cant exactly afford at the momenton top of that my pharmacy ran out of antidepressants so ive been a week without those meds and my depression is really starting to hit hard ive been feeling like the only escape is to harm myself possible to the point of death in order to get by and finally escape this hell of being a burden to those around mei keep telling myself that eventually things will turn around and ill get better but im  jobless still in college and cant seem to find a break i feel like im drowning in the sea with no land in sight and my strength is starting to give out the endless abyss of the ocean is starting to look inviting and that scares me im not sure where to go or what to do,3.0
25582,i got to go kayaking on the lake ,0.0
25583,internet here is as slow as ever ,2.0
25584, see u bye see u  i love the  ,0.0
25585,what am i doing tomorrow i cant wait hehe ,0.0
25586,shes gone   quotthey call her love love love love lovequot,2.0
25587,great discussions at last nights uxbcldn thanks to everyone for coming around  just ordered dan gilberts stumblin on happiness for £ woo,0.0
25588,society in a tweet  but its okay it hits them when they notice there drowning in  in debt and dont do shit ,1.0
25589,is really upset that it is raining right now now logan and i cant go to the air show ,2.0
25590,rt paulatics usscobblerguy nathanhrubin my husband needed brain surgery world class neurosurgeons removed a wedge of his skull used l,2.0
25591,chilling wit my cuddy in fresno  woot woot lol i love ale,0.0
25592,thinks its too bad susan boyle didnt win britains got talent ,2.0
25593,hungryyy i cant go downstairs by myself ill bust my ass  they took us out the cub ,2.0
25594,feeling very unmotivated at the moment ,2.0
25595,just got some really bad news ,2.0
25596,getting anesthesia before my surgery for my  broken bones has brought back my suicidal thoughts tenfold i had a mini existential crisis going into it would i somehow be aware of what was going on and turn it into some kind of crazy fever dream what if i never woke up there was no nothing just all the time was gone and i woke up in the recovery room its just so tempting no nothing just sleep no more pain no more anguish no more boredom no more disappointment just nothing that sounds so good to me im smiling like the first time i set a date for myself and told myself i was going to die by the end of the year i felt giddy then i dont know about that but i definitely feel very content in a way i havent felt in a while thats whats really scary when the anguish and sadness is gone and im just happy thinking about a future where i no longer exist,3.0
25597,owlcity i saw it too it was so cute  russell was great  x,0.0
25598,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
25599,just depression things when you start pushing people awaybut then get sad because you have no friendswhen youre showing obvious signs of needing helpbut nobody seems to noticewhen even if they did noticeyoud put your best fake smile on and laugh it offwhen you want someone to talk to but dont want to be annoying,3.0
25600,had an upset stomach all evening ,2.0
25601,olinaqian    oh i dont have emoji on this  do you have emoji yet it was made for you plus i think its free,2.0
25602,i have a headache and im tired ,2.0
25603,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
25604,why cant i sleep in anymore  excited for florida i think so p,2.0
25605,patmatson absolutely any day but thursdaythrow some times my way ,0.0
25606,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs — dr joseph mercola mercola june  ,1.0
25607, no chance im spending it tomorrow at the charity do ,0.0
25608,rt rellojello its hard when ya family addicted to drugs and living on the streets  sad to see how life chew n spit people out like th,1.0
25609,but i still miss you ,2.0
25610,does anyone else hate when stuff starts going well for you cause it means itll hurt even more when you inevitably fall honestly the last two months were the greatest in my life now im struggling to find reasons to get up in the morning ,3.0
25611,selenagomez o my gosh that it so funny she sounds like a blast to work w but ur my inspiration amp role model did u ever do plays  ,0.0
25612,hopin my girls having a fantastic night at the housewarming ,0.0
25613, ,0.0
25614,happymeep sounds great babe    sorry i missed your message i was nappin all day n such   ,0.0
25615,adhaves jeremycorbyn mental health is a huge issue it came up in the public debate tonight which allowed me to c ,2.0
25616,tweepsearch isnt working big fail message  dacort,2.0
25617,kerstinfehn oh yes thats exactly what i was hoping for ,0.0
25618,does anyone sink deeper when thinking about how much youve lost ive been having realisations of how much live ive lost and all the doors that have shut on me with paying time and it really makes me scream i never was and ill never be fuck,3.0
25619,mrswayandsodmg lol well u cant win em all  but im sure ull see him again lolso wat u ,2.0
25620,doughbee well it is now    dont u just luv ur sis,0.0
25621,going for a nap twitters i have a bad hed ,2.0
25622,at the dentist i hope i dont have any cavities ,2.0
25623,linkedin is being really mongy for me tonight in fact it has just sat spinning doing nothing a few times recently ,2.0
25624,morning tweeters off back to sheff today gonna miss everyone ,2.0
25625,rt kdthecolorgreen everytime my roommate moves out our other roommate gets super sad and acts like jack twist when ennis del mar wont st,0.0
25626,bucky my ferret officially has insulinoma  now on daily prednisone had interview with pdoc today have to go back monday for testing,2.0
25627,throat hurts from coughing ,2.0
25628,i jus made a dress and its alittle retarded ,2.0
25629,alohas twitters ,0.0
25630,ac went out today ,2.0
25631,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
25632,depression being made worse by unemployment ive recently been made unemployed due to a traffic source falling through at my company and them no longer needing me at my advertising job a few months ago i broke up with my long term partner of  years lived together for  i immediately started taking drugs and sleeping around i truly regret my decisionnow every morning i wake up i spend hours thinking of my regret i find it difficult to believe i will ever be happy again,3.0
25633,my phone just got swiped all my contacts are gone add me  ,0.0
25634,all in all a good weekend ,0.0
25635, i hate drawers ,2.0
25636,geraldiscool i know  i try though gabe did once to my friend kelsey lucky bitch,2.0
25637,saucinseb are you ok thats a pretty sad song who hurt you,1.0
25638,good morning good morning good morning to you  i was singing it as i was writing  have a good day,0.0
25639,so i think ive now just ruined things with the last decent friend i have left and i dont know what to do with myself anyone there for a chat or something,3.0
25640,arjwiz let me be more clear did you hear what vindee just said ,0.0
25641,honorsociety   hahahah wow i love you andy ,0.0
25642,ken griffey jr tied game with a home run ,2.0
25643,come pick me up and lets fall asleep on stars and wake up on clouds ,0.0
25644,chelsealinn just be grateful you didnt have a song as the ring tone  ,0.0
25645,has a cold ,2.0
25646,trigger warning sicidal thoughts i am very much reaching the point where i want to kll myself any tips at this point i am extremely tired life isnt worth it for me nor is it ever going to be ive been miserable for the past two years and  has been one hit after another and im reaching a breaking point like there is no future for me and i dont want to live anymore its a miserable world and i regret being born i do see a counselor but at this point i dont care anymore i havent cared about anything since i was  and it just keeps getting worse any tips to maybe combat this does it actually get better i genuinely dont believe so,3.0
25647,soggy pancake not good ,2.0
25648,abideedles i hate calling pplits crazy  love emailing fb chatting tweetingjust dread having to call pplcrazy ,0.0
25649,feeling suicidal im lbgtq and some days i wake up wanting to blow my head off i only have one real regret in my life when i dream about it i wake up hating myself i ended things badly with my first love a decade and a half ago i tried to patch things up a few years ago but due to what i now believe is a sex addiction i ruined my one chance it wouldnt be so bad if i didnt dream about it i see these dreams as an invasion of my privacy the feelings pass the more awake i am im not a good person people think i am but i am not it took me this long to realize i am one of lifes bad guys i used to be able to keep it all together but its getting more difficult the older i get i thought suicide was a thing of the past for me and i was proud that id moved on from my tries i just want this pain to stop ,3.0
25650,mileycyrus   cool eyes  xd  love you,0.0
25651,has some serious heat rash boohoo ,2.0
25652,i give oxamandaxo amp cassandroar my  tweet  xxxx love you guys  good nighttt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,0.0
25653,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
25654,please help struggling with depression motivation and concentration hey everyoneim really struggling with concentration i cannot figure out what to doi started taking antidepressants in october and felt better for awhile until i didnt but there was no change as for concentration really i just felt felt a bit better overallnow things just feel worse ive been feeling not great for the past few weeks and at times i feel pretty numb additionally i have no motivation to do anything and cannot concentrate when i try to study or even read for fun my mind wonders so quicklyi have a midterm tomorrow that i havent really started studying for and assignments due next week that i havent started working on but i just feel like i dont care im less than a year away from finishing my degree but my marks have been plummeting and i just cant bring myself to do schoolwork or care about it really i feel so bad about it because it is time and money and it feels like im just wasting this opportunity i really dont know what to do would appreciate any helpadvice youre willing to offer,3.0
25655,stfuspacesquare what do you mean you must have me confused with someone else i havent used any bad language ,2.0
25656,ncomrade do i have to admit that i just laughed at that  ,0.0
25657,is in english atm going back in an hour amp sher mel and alia coming over  weee,0.0
25658,monicahluv me too ,2.0
25659,greggarbo loved the jobros movie  a clear  see through bass awesome dude,0.0
25660,goonaffiliated im up ,0.0
25661,tommcfly goodnight tom say something to me please today is my bday  lovee youu,0.0
25662,brrilynnnxd makes my day ,0.0
25663,ugh  ,2.0
25664,clairejarmo awesome  did you catch the fox  i must know the outcome  yay for pissed claire its always such a pleasure  x,0.0
25665,make me change my profile name argh  memorial day,0.0
25666,theres a difference i wish people would understand that theres a difference between feeling depressed and actually struggling with depression for years on end its very annoying to someone who struggles with depression like myself,3.0
25667,im about to get home amp go to bednight twitters ,0.0
25668,teralandrumi want a jamba juice so bad right now and the cupcake made me feel sick hahawish you were hereee  xoxo,0.0
25669,is at work ,2.0
25670,happy  bdayy wifeyyy  ilysfm so tired in school,0.0
25671,understanding me is all i need for reasons unknown ive slipped through the grates of society nobody could hear my frequency im eradicated from the backgrounds of peoples deepest mindsets im a missed placed treasure lost falling i started to talk to myself because who knows my skull more than me i begin to scrape together pieces of god to help understand him my hobby is dedicated to religion ive done nothing but construct a puzzle of the universe within my free time start to finish this has helped me discover an untearable bond with god my hobby is of a fake religion built along side what we know now people fear that it could swell into a cult but for me it behaved as a window showing me the true beauty of god a view that could stop the pain a view that stopped me from falling i want to vomit i cant describe the blissful atmosphere ive discovered such beautiful thoughts flow within my veins people cant hear me im a ghost that can see within the lines that space that separates our existence with a more desirable alternative is my will to take my own life im so lost dropping into the abyss that warms me to my core i want to sleep forever my pain is strong and all i wish was someone to say they understood but my ideas are rare only the dedicated of all dedicated could hold my head i created paradise yet im forced to live on the opposite spectrum of our cursed existence i dont exist in a world where im forced to i have no home in a world where people have many im stuck within the walls falling i feel unbearable rage hatred fills my body against the unknown my head rots and my mind is that of artillery i want to eradicate myself ripping my lungs from within my chest and devouring my breath of life i cant take this sadness i reject it im so bold on my battles and champion of my mentality i dont cry nor give up yet i cant help but bite steel something that i could sink my teeth in to so i can ease the pressure in my head oh god im a creation calling out for eradication somebody help me from this rage i cant take it i hate everyone and everything because i dont connect i dont love us our skin so repetitive why do we have it so bland so empty sosoft i cant take people they make me feel as if im falling   tell me it will be okay even if you dont understand mimick my waves from within my skull disguised as a friend to heal my soul im genuinely going insane this is not poeticplease help me stop falling,3.0
25672,workin then home to do more nonwork related work  wtf,2.0
25673,allex no worries were waiting ,0.0
25674,imnickarmstrong well it needs to hurry up ,2.0
25675,  what i wore today ,0.0
25676,reasons to live ive been thinking about killing myself since i was   i wont because i know it would fucking destroy my family  i feel like all i will ever do with my life is work a shitty job so that i can make enough money to survive and im just so tired of working  i have my first session with my  therapist today  did anti depressants really help you guys i feel like im just waiting to die a natural death at this point,3.0
25677,heading to germany ,0.0
25678,jai  thts nice  hope u get fine soooooonnnnnnnnn  hope u r in too much pain ,2.0
25679,enjoying the tread through the various forums about darksiderssome classy comments ,0.0
25680,you jerk allen no weed left for me  fuckingallen,2.0
25681,tommcfly ton i miss you   i love you so much,2.0
25682,jaanikajou what movie  ,0.0
25683, thanks ,0.0
25684,you have to i miss you ,2.0
25685,just finished at the gym need to this more ,0.0
25686,ive never even gotten a dm from anybody   hey jonathanrknight can i get a pity dm lol,2.0
25687,tiggymooshoo   they are really too cute looks like ivy is clinging to her brother ,0.0
25688,in a skype call with tegan hmm thinking about djing tonight ,0.0
25689,i would really like to be at home in bed with my birthday boy ,2.0
25690,thinking i need to move nearer to the coastline id practically live on the beach ,0.0
25691,wiganwarriors hi and thx for the follow ,0.0
25692,nogtheegg omg thats great congrats ,0.0
25693,i took myself on a date and had a great timei i had planned to go to this sort of indie jazz rock dancing show for a few days but i couldnt find anyone to come with me to save my life i considered just staying up but instead i said fuck it and went out to the place by my lonesome it was really cool the band was good and just kinda jammed while the dancers did their thing and it was nice seeing the different nuances that they incorporated into their routines this is all while we got to sit around watching them on couches pillows etc it was super chill i tried socializing with a few people in between the sets but didnt really find anyone yet who was receptive didnt panic just checked out the sights snapped up the sights and then watched the next set after the last set was over i started talking to the dancers and they were all really nice and cool we ended up all bullshitting for a while dancing a little bit and messing around with a makeshift swing that was in the building i even had a more engaged conversation with one of the dancers who it turns out is a psych major like me got her on facebook and hopefully well hang out some time not to be long winded but the point is that good things can happen if you just put a little faith in yourself and try new shit i am so happy that i took some god damn initiative and for the first time in over a month i had a genuinely awesome night and i did it due to my own actions anyway i hope this maybe encourages you guys to do the same youd be surprised how empowering it feels even with small actions hope i dont sound like a pompous ass im just thrilled with myself for once thanks for listening all,3.0
25694,weve got edible birds nest in our fridge  ,0.0
25695,sleepy but not allowed to sleep or ill be staying up late tonightand that definitely will ruin my sleep program ,2.0
25696,check ur direct messages if u can if not tell me ,0.0
25697,rt emiherrera nothings wrong  buttt i just feel so sad for no reason ,1.0
25698,groovymag well the company i am employed with used php for most of our sites we are migrating to groovy and grails so learning ,0.0
25699,rt dismiss depression is being lonely in a room full of peopledepression is being constantly tired but never able to sleepdepression is,2.0
25700,linneahw i love you too ,0.0
25701,mollyvaughn it was really fun im super tired though the sun drained me  we need to hang out again cause i lovvvee youu,2.0
25702, spencermitchell  did you get my birthday text ,0.0
25703,just signed up for twitter  ,0.0
25704,alhs jeffrdmorgn yes they do because  season its good enough to spread the word about rape and depression and stuff like that,0.0
25705,rt winggirl i can handle stressof othersbut not capable of handling it of myself,1.0
25706,kleinehexede what george clooney you say like your photos too  yes boo to mondays,0.0
25707,happy mothers day boo  tell your momma for me too,0.0
25708,pumpkinmoore hahaha omg cant wait to meet you can go high and forget all my troubles ,0.0
25709, save some for me hahahaha dont bite them too hard  lmao,0.0
25710,queerty im sorry but gays kinda have it easier now my time coming out was horrific that caused me to go into dep ,1.0
25711,nashauna shit got me scared     ,2.0
25712,thillais naadu enga poodhu nne theriyalai ,2.0
25713,rt  imagine ur a cow u spend ur entire sad life on a meat farm u die a brutal death and get butchered into a ribeye steak just for,2.0
25714,cant wait for the laker game  r u cheering  the lakers ,0.0
25715,does anyone else have arthritislike pain when things get bad im being a coward because i need to go to the dr amp find out if i have arthritis again i had juvenille rheumatoid arthritis from  but i had the notion it could just be part of my depression is this possible,3.0
25716,depression as a thing you fight sometimes i wonder if othering my depression for so long treating it like a thing i have to battle another me that i have to fight if even though it probably helped in the shorter term to see it that way in the longer term has it possibly made things worse because maybe its not about beating something something you then get to kick out and never be troubled by again because thats just not realistic and maybe it should be about accepting it and just learning how to mitigate it when its bad i dont have an answer to that,3.0
25717,sirjcharless nigga im off track point is if you sad be productive with that sadness in any creative form,1.0
25718,xarkgirl pooof nirvana did that work  httpmylocmetdl,0.0
25719,rt lysvera im so annoyed amp mad amp sad amp everything is just making me sad rn amp i wanna cry u know what i just wanna die,1.0
25720,docbaty send it over ,0.0
25721,spot bob this week in shelby township   cant wait to visitremember i buy whatever drink u want nothin but fun ,0.0
25722,sweet  followers thanks ,0.0
25723,depression cure taking this every day could help symptoms health httpstcoxxwmsqbprb,0.0
25724,everyone has issues this is my first time posting something like this and i have never thought about it before well i just wanted to say that i have suffered from depression for years now and when i was in the  grade im  now i tried to commit suicide but wasnt successful i tried slitting my wrist but didnt go deep enough to cut my veins anyways since then when my parents found out i never really told them the reason why i did what i did or the reason why i wanted to died i just made up a lie that i was pressured into doing it because one of my friends was doing it but the truth was that i wasnt happy and i was always sad no one really asked me if i was ok i never got the help i need and i guess everyone always saw me as the happy go luck one that always had a smile on my face anyways since then there was a few other times i tried to do it again and again but i never succeeded so i tried cooping with my life and just faking like everything is ok with me and my life but maybe a few weeks ago or a month or two ago i been feeling like my depression is getting worse i feel like theres no one to help and support me theres a lot more to my depression and i just dont know where to start to get the help i need,3.0
25725, can see clearly now the rain is gone ,0.0
25726,rt   ways to ease anxiety symptoms without medication  health ,1.0
25727,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
25728,nikkietutorials lol tell me how it goes ,0.0
25729,dreading starting the forced labour course the job centre have stuck me on tomorrow in crappy burslem with the extreme chav scum ,2.0
25730,this morning when kennedy hubbard went to the tea cupboard the cupboard was bare  bad times,2.0
25731,just watched a girl wipe out horse jumping she head planted the ground and is now in the ambulance ,2.0
25732,peterfacinelli  i can´t believe that i have you on twitter haha i´am a brazillian fan but i live in japan i am waiting for you here ,0.0
25733,sportsfanpj haha you wish  but i have to save up for my next semester in college you know how it is  plus shoppingamplakers tix heh,0.0
25734, saw your mot on the kitten you didnt upset me i upsetted myself im upset for some hours now hugs tight take care ,0.0
25735, its too early ,2.0
25736,is destressing by watching jonas and hannah montana   httptweetsg,0.0
25737,is eating an apple craving twwlistil havent seen it on the tv though ,2.0
25738,goodnight and good luck ,0.0
25739,authenticdasein everytime i see the word bee i feel sad  did u hear yet another report this morning about colony collapse so sad ,2.0
25740,no purpose no happiness not liking life just getting things off my chest i dont enjoy life and i dont want to keep living im not planning to commit suicide but if somebody tells me you are dying tomorrow i wont break down crying like what else is there i have a girlfriend job that i fucking hate and i dont enjoy living the normal life the routine is awful i feel sad depressed angry like im caged up in a lifestyle that i hate i have nothing to look forward to nothing i tried writing down things i wanted to do that i have not accomplished and the list was blank i dont even want to work but i have to do it to be able to have a roofyet i cant complain too much im blessed maybe it is a blessing that my worst problem is that im sad and that i dont want to live because i dont enjoy normalcy thanks for reading,3.0
25741,i left my phone at home            i cant live without my phone,2.0
25742,rt juliekinn close look at the unique mental health issues for female military and veterans dhccblog dcoepage mentalhealth https,0.0
25743, quotwith the warmth of your arms you saved meim killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tombquot romance goth style ,0.0
25744,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
25745,mitchelmusso  im going to buy your album tomorrow really excited,0.0
25746,rt ahiskens jenniferniven  isolating teens from the reality of depression and mental illness is not safe its dangerous yamatters,2.0
25747,so glad conan is back on the air something about funny redheaded guys really gets me going ,0.0
25748, emily follow me too its me the alltime stuphanutuna slash many others stephanie your bedbuddie ,0.0
25749,  an edit i made a while ago who like sit miley looks stunning ,0.0
25750,my heads burnt i shoud have got a baseball cap ,2.0
25751,rt vanessaidaa these tiny food videos are giving me anxiety,2.0
25752,adambaldwin cool two days and youll have it down ,0.0
25753,arunsonnet it was an official tour to dehradun on an audit went to massourie on the leave day   overall it was good,0.0
25754,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
25755,i cant see a good future with this illness im starting to realize it is an illness its making decisions for me im not myself ive really been contemplating lately whether im fit for the life i want im a fashion design student in one of the top ranked programs in the world this is great and it has always felt like the right fit for me but they work you to no end and it only gets harder and harder as the years go on ive been fighting everyday to remind myself that its what i want and that im good at it my peers get no sleep and work until tears last semester during finals week i lost  pounds on an already underweight body and i didnt sleep for  days straight ive also unlocked a new level of my depression the physical pain during finals they were so bad that i was close to calling an ambulance it was the worst pain i have ever experienced and it was all mentally driven there are days where i cry nonstop for hours and then im left with a migraine that makes me vomit i truly think that im supposed to have killed myself by now and im just fighting at it im on medication and trying to get myself to regularly see a therapist i feel like my goal in life is to get to the point where i can just design in the comfort of my apartment i think i have some agoraphobia and thats not easy if you live in nyc i guess im just wondering if someone can relate or if theres any advice ,3.0
25756,mandyyjirouxx  helloooo  ,0.0
25757,i feel like a zombie but like a tired zombie hi so i struggled with anxiety immediately following my parents divorce in high school and went on lexapro didnt like it because i lost sexual desire went off of medication for  years last year my therapist said she thinks i have seasonal affective disorder and put me on wellbutrin for the winter months it more or less workedthis year i am living abroad and dont have access to wellbutrin or my therapist because they arent covered by my foreign insurance i could in theory ask for a prescription to be sent to my moms house in the us and then she could send it to me but it would take a whilemore what i am getting at is if anyone has tried anything else for sad that works i dont necessarily feel sad or depressed just lethargic and unmotivated and uninterested in most things i come home from work and masturbate and nap for like  hours then eat then go back to sleep and repeat it sometimes i throw a workout in the mix because i know its good for me i am so tired all the time that doing daily things is kind of difficult ie showering or taking out the trash i dont want to go back on meds but i also dont want to feel like this i have a great life and a job i enjoy so i dont know why i dont feel energized at allso thank you for any insight you can provide,3.0
25758,mmk gonna actually try and sleep now  dont hold your breath ,0.0
25759,mainstream happiness its crazy how even people with it easy can have to fight so hard to be happy too why isnt is just natural for humans to be happy its solely societys fault nobody is happy the people running the media have created false realities that are never achievable so us viewers spend our lives trying to fit into them and so we spend ridiculous amounts of money to be what they claim is happy,3.0
25760,at the pain but you will see your grandparents again tae when its your time whenever i get sad about losing my ,2.0
25761,history regents ,2.0
25762,i am desperate for attention and want people to worry selfish i know i am depressed and very isolated socially but i want to be noticed and i crave social contact in a sense or to be part of some group which i havent been for a very long time recently ive been eating less and i noticed that it was easy to lose weight now i really feel like i could easily become underweight just to get medical attention and for someone to care about me its messed up and destructive but i cant see another way out of my isolation right now,3.0
25763,laraduckytay never heard that ,2.0
25764,momamiacl sorry couldnt tweet back last night my phone wasnt letting me  well its  and going to my aunts then granparents,2.0
25765,triste no companion for saturday ,2.0
25766,i have just broke my new bra ,2.0
25767,is excited to start my new job wednesday took me less than a week to get one awesome ,0.0
25768,debsmadcat i didnt mean to offend her  maybe ill keep quiet ,2.0
25769,i dont think ive ever been so tierd in my lifeughgoodnightso sleeping in tomorrow ,0.0
25770,rt babytigerkth vs grandfather passed away and hes with the member of bts in the funeral today in daegu i love you 💜 youre such a,0.0
25771,does anyone else think doctors want us to kill ourselves they are so unhelpful and unwilling they do nothing but shove pills down our throats as children and repeat the same coping bullshit that has never helped i truly believe they just want to edge us into killing ourselves,3.0
25772,kind of scared cut myself for the first time yesterday i was so angry and upset and crying and i just did it and since i havent stoped thinking about it since i did it again tonight kind of scared that it felt good does this make me bad it made me feel a little better temporarily now idk what to do,3.0
25773,thoughts about a suicide note idk if you have thought what would your suicide note be like but i have and it makes me sad to think about the person finding it could it be my mom my sis my friend i will never know my friends always joke about killing themselves in school but when i open up they think its a joke i wont kill myself but if i will i think my family wont forgive me for my actions i think that the school system is bad bcuz it makes me depressed they teach us to be factory workers nothin else and thats why i have depression also if id make a suicide note before killing myself id make a note for everyone special in my life thank you all for reading this far i felt like writing out my thoughts on reddit ,3.0
25774,summer time ball   soooo badly wanna go ,2.0
25775,but honey u did great p u are the only one who knew that i am not a chicken and i will bungee jump one day i will youll see ,0.0
25776, aw that sucks they brought the movie in march it was amazing but they didnt bring  ,2.0
25777,mpschwimmer i dont want you to leave ,2.0
25778,i feel fresh after a couple of hours of sleep but i am going to sleep again ,0.0
25779,i dont know what career or job i should look for im not that good looking i have no useful talents im not smart or intelligent and i have no real interests all this shit makes it hard for me to decide what career or job i should look for ,3.0
25780,scarletoak  yeah acoustic is definitely the way to go totally  ,0.0
25781,i am goofing around when i should be working ,2.0
25782,luvdamall yes bleeding eyes definitely means time for bed lol night night to you ,0.0
25783,london didnt appreicate the fact that i still called her to make sure she was up this moring to go grocery shopping smh ,2.0
25784,how do i stop hating my job how do i stop making my job my whole life i hate my job waking up on weekdays is horrible i got to bed early and i still hit snooze until i have  minutes to get ready because i just dread going to work even worse i get extremely depressed when my weekend is over my whole life revolves around my shitty job and it just makes me so unhappy im living weekend to weekend being depressed throughout the week until i finally get to saturday thats if i have the saturday off and then being depressed on sunday because i work the next day its miserable ive only had this job for  months and i have to stay  more months to transfer to a back office department so im trying to tough it out how do i stop being so miserable,3.0
25785, and just going to sleep  up all night helping alex with a school project  ,2.0
25786,good experience with antidepressant so i was on half a pill of wellbutrin for a week to make sure theres no negative side effects and today was my first day on the whole pill  i actually feel happy and i feel like myself again i have the same happy feeling i had when i was a young child i even cried because i felt so overwhelmed with happiness and motivation and ive been missing out on this the whole time  anyone else ,3.0
25787,vasta the day i work up the nerve to leave the house without making my bed ill likely rush home at lunch to make it  so silly,2.0
25788,where to start seeking help ive been struggling to seek any sort of help for my mental health for years i have a family history of depression and refused for a long time to accept that i was feeling the same symptoms as my other family members i have been keeping myself as high functioning as possible to not alarm anyone close to me and have been coping with my depressive episodes through binge eating and internet distractions i think im finally willing to accept that i need help the biggest hurdle for me now is not knowing where to start  where did you go first when you decided you needed help,3.0
25789,mileycyrus   know a great lookin guy in vegas lookin for a prom date ,0.0
25790,no purpose hey guys im  new on this place what i want to express is that i think i have no purpose in life i literally hate everything avoid arguments even if i hv something to say i am socially awkward  cant get along with my peers comfortably i cant approach girls evn though i like them avoid relationships just because i think im useless and i deserve nobody moreover i have trust issues and dont wanna have feelings for anyone which they might break in the future i am pursuing a degree but i have no more interest left in that i dont find pleasure in anything had some bad experiences with people dont wanna share that im all alone dont know what to do,3.0
25791, wow that is old  are you manning a booth for libraries or just going for fun,0.0
25792,rawritsallyx dont stop believing comes on at work all the time but it makes me said that i cant sing along ,2.0
25793,crackberrymike i dont like being quotbelowquot average on anything ,2.0
25794,conference blogging dbate cont on genetic future blogwho knew it would b this interesting missing girlscientist   ,2.0
25795,sirahsirah yes the beer will hide the cold  ,0.0
25796,joshgraci  loved your show tonight at eagle mountain you are the best i agree the fly over was awesome utah loves you ,0.0
25797,andywettersten that could be an issue  one that shall be resolved as i sleep ,0.0
25798,simple tips on how to deal with anxiety  ,2.0
25799,good night tweeties   sweet dreams  my unknown followers  sorry for  chat   amp  to be continued p,0.0
25800,i am going to write the dugger familynow thinking about that how large their family isi shoulda never got my tubes tied ,0.0
25801,rt cannabrain our new paper on how endocannabinoids differentially modulate stressinduced changes in feeding is out in bjp britpharms,0.0
25802,gaberealz i have to give my car an oil change ,2.0
25803,consonant good luck i didnt think the economy would be that bad when i graduated but it is ,2.0
25804,this year may  caught me in porto portugal i was already at the seaside ,0.0
25805,old friends are my only friends and theyve moved on my group of friends that i was good friends with dispersed as do all eventually and i eventually got in with a new clique and became close with  or  within it but going through high school i was going through a lot of anxiety and other issues and was super introverted this made me seem like i didnt like my friends or something which wasnt the case i just felt like i didnt belong so my standing within my group of friends kind of suffered and most of them began to think less of me besides the  i was close with high school is over now and ive started college i still hang out with my  friends and have recently overcome my anxiety and begun wanting to be more socially activethe problem is nobody ever even considers me when things are happening my close friends and some of the others will hang out with me one on one or just at my house or something but whenever something is actually happening its like they just forget i exist the other night i was up late finishing some stuff i had forgotten to finish before the deadline hit and i heard some commotion outside it was my entire friend group just all laughing and hanging out with some other people i dont know so well one of them was a friend i considered to be my best friend this really hit me hard with a wave of self pity i mean they were right outside of my house and nobody thought to see if i wanted to hang out or anything and this sucks because i want to cut them off out of spite but like i dont have any other friends and as soon as i try to do something like this days and days go by without anybody texting me so i just end up caving and hitting them up firstit just sucks i feel like i have no more close friends like im just an after thought and last option for even the people i considered to be my best friends basically im in need of advice should i move on and try to find friends that value you me or should i ramp up my social motivation to make them see me as someone that should be invited places,3.0
25806,woot a few more hrs till my bday ,0.0
25807,i need to pee but im too lazy to even get up from bed ,2.0
25808,podcast anxiety lies constantly – how to stop listening httpstcozvzvcornmz httpstcohptwukmdct,2.0
25809,crazy tired drove momz to bus station on way home watched sunrise at shelter cove  zzzz,0.0
25810,quotmileycyrusquotyou are the best i love you  can you give me your email i want to write with you but i cant ,0.0
25811,fighting it tonight worked up the couragenerve all weekend long and yesterday to get enrolled into my classes for the semester this is always one of my most challenging days i drove an hour just to find out that i cant enroll yet because of  holds on my account this would be  worth of parking tickets i didnt know about because i guess i was parking in the wrong parking lot all year and had the wrong colored pass a tb screening i went and had done today and an orientation quiz i also went directly into the library and finished with any luck i am getting the tickets paid off so i can enroll before classes start i am dreading having to start late and miss the first die im petrified anyways i know nobody will see this but wanted it off my chest this will probably be deleted by the morning anyway so thanks out there to whoever read any of this crap tldr cant enroll into my classes because of  worth of parking tickets my dumbass didnt realize i had just feeling so defeated and done with life i know i have to keep trucking on but i dont know why this is all such bullshit and wanted it off my chest thanks,3.0
25812,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
25813,treatmentresistant depressionativan for anxiety attacks ive been depressed for almost half of my life now and i have never found a medication that works i recently have been getting horrible anxiety attacks other than being numb i just feel sad and my anxiety attacks are getting triggered very easily so i take my ativan i cant really function too well while im on it bc i tend to forget things then day after i take the ativan tho i am numb and dont feel good at all i am looking into ketamine treatments for my depression since it is so debilitating i was just wondering if anybody had any tips or just understands what im going through ,3.0
25814,its not the chemicalsthe pathology of mental illness is a mystery and anyone who tells you other wise is being disingenuous chemical imbalance is a term from the  born out of understanding how lsd reacts in the brain in reality no convincing evidence exists to support that term and more ,3.0
25815,como muito,2.0
25816,dancingsupasta its on much more music im stoked and no  i havent tried those sites i will though thanks ,0.0
25817, roasted garlic hummus and quotless fatquot wheat thins it was good ,0.0
25818,kdtwtr littlemissahh bekahbabes aw im pretty gutted i missed out in the convo  busy with the pic email thing ,2.0
25819,aww poor lacey  am nawt even in the call lol,2.0
25820,really wish id have gone to see the saturdays in wolverhampton tonight ,2.0
25821,all this magichatmagic hat talk makes me think tonite might be a circus boy nite   mmmm,0.0
25822,gddamnit poptarts just dont taste as good as the discontinued jewel brand ,2.0
25823,the rain is so depressing today ,2.0
25824,still in detroiti might actually be in dc in a couple hrsmeaning it took me only  to get home ,2.0
25825,alright tweeplesim exhaustedam gonna take my butt to bed now goodnight tweeters  ekisses and ehugs  all  ,0.0
25826,i cant find any tarsier friends ,2.0
25827,boa tarde twitters ,0.0
25828,rt  lets share our reasons why  means so much to us it got me out of a depression showing me i am not alone as a ,1.0
25829,legac ahhhhhhhhhh he suxxxxxxx he claimed it ,2.0
25830,cheo telethooon ,0.0
25831,thetbar  u r welcome here anytime ,0.0
25832,at the urging of sondaiexpress im tweeting   just wish i had something clever interesting etc to tweet about,0.0
25833,music advice after break up i broke with ma girl feelin tired and cant do shit about it so im trynna listen to music and trynna forget but i cant do dat shit she was my will to live,3.0
25834,thetelevixen i got my floor tickets this morning they are one of my faves im happy to hear that they put on a good show ,0.0
25835,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
25836,is  celsius a fever thats my temp now ,2.0
25837,my  has died and just flashes a red light  no amount of googling has found a resolution looks like its back to sony then,2.0
25838,rt ladygaga thanks to prince william amp headstogether for inviting me to join this important conversation around mental health ,0.0
25839,doing my it project with adam haha ,0.0
25840,all that said i wish i were having as much fun today as yall seem to be having unfortunately   death horror and destruction ,2.0
25841,wwwnokiano doesnt work in chrome ,2.0
25842,my first foray into glutenfree baking could kindly be described as a failure ,2.0
25843,bored of everything im  and i dont know when i started but i find nothing entertaining in life i have tried many hobbies muay thai judo dragon boat etc but none of these interests have lasted more than a year life is going well for me my family is above average in finance it isnt broken and i have many friendswhen i talk to family or friends i have fun and am full of energy but after that i just revert back to my normal self and go on auto pilot i have had thoughts about ending it but am held back by guilt and fear i have imagined myself killing people and myselfim posting here to hear your opinions on whether im depressed and should see a therapist,3.0
25844,i just want to help people my life has consisted of being beaten insulted raped ignored  and used by almost everyone i have come into contact with from janitors blackmailing my family with me to get money to the first adult that treated me like a person using me as a scapegoat when she accidently downloaded a virus onto all the library computers none of this hurts as much as one thingas kids me and my little brother were treated vastly different dispite being only  years different in age he was always treated better he would get grounded for a day for something that i would get beat and grounded for a week for this is not an exageration sadly but i still tried to take the blame for him i realized that the only time i felt worth anything is when i could help someone even if they didnt notice i ended up taking many beatings for him trying to make sure he was never sadi visit rdepression and rsuicidewatch a lot partly for myself but also because i want to be able to help someone i dont comment a lot on posts because most of the time i cant think of what to say i dont want to say the generic it gets better im sorry that happened or youre worth it because while that can be nice to read  it doesnt feel sincere in the past hour i have read and  different peoples stories and problems typed out a message and deleted it because it wasnt good enough  ending up just leaving an upvote and hating myself scrolling awaymy little brother is getting depressed and started drinking having stopped recently but who knows our mothers death while being good for me with her being a main abuser for me  really hurt him i cant even talk to him since he hates me because our mother raised him to even though he hates me and would constantly beat me to my familys amusement i cant stand seeing him upset i tried so hard keeping him happy growing up and it didnt help that is the worst thing i just want to make people happy it sounds like im selfless or even just trying to sound it but im really not im just a selfish asshole who can only feel happiness when he helps others and i cant even fucking do that right,3.0
25845,will prepare to go aalis nanaman ako ang sad  ,2.0
25846,rt henereyg this is a sad story of c martin crokers last days this guy is hugely important to animation history arguably theres no a,1.0
25847,its gotten to the point where im so sad i cant even cry im worthless and nothing to anyone im going to kill myself people have ruined everything in my life for me,3.0
25848,why do i feel sowhy do i feel so alonewhy do i feel so sadwhy do i feel so emptywhy do i feel so tiredwhy do ,1.0
25849,my feet hurt so damn bad wearing flip flops to work fuck what they say ,2.0
25850,at city island with my peeps  booo a hangover ,2.0
25851,susan boyle  another reason i have never wanted to be famous,2.0
25852,no tweeting for a few hours work ,2.0
25853,amp just like that im sad again,0.0
25854,mommyholly i need some creative time today too ,0.0
25855,i wish my friends would talk to me  i didnt do anything for an entire month skipped classes stayed in bed most of the time i wasted a lot of time just staring into space or crying or just wasted my time on useless things i have very important exams in just two months i wish i didnt go into isolation i wish i didnt cut people off i have no idea what to study or how to study i cant focus at all i thought that maybe im out of the depressive phase i still have two months i can make it but i dont know how to do anything anymore i decided ill call a friend to ask for notes and then ill study everything on my own i called three of my closest friends the people ive been friends with since quite a long time none of them picked up i texted them no response i texted three other people still no response i just feel so bad for acting like a total douche and cutting everyone off but its just what i do its my coping mechanism i just have to do it i cried for half an hour after that because suddenly everything seemed like a blur it was just very terrible the clock in my room started to sound extra loud the water dripping from the tap in the bathroom my mums footsteps all the sounds drained me out it got very loud i dont know how to explain sorry for this incoherent and stupid post but i just wanted to get this out this probably sounded very stupid but yeah thats that i feel bad because none of my friends are talking to me but i feel even more bad because i made this happen i cut everyone off everyone is probably studying for the exams the entrance exams for college they dont need me anymore and dont need to talk to a failure like me anymore this year theyll all be at the colleges they want to be theyre all working hard for it unlike the useless bum that i am all my friends are going to get to colleges this year i want to study i want to get a good score i just need to do it right just get up shrug off all the bs and get to worksorry for the rant yeah i know this sounds stupid,3.0
25856,she is way sleeping and left me awake oh my michelle  ,2.0
25857,rt taylorndean imagine how easy life is for people who have such normal mental health that they genuinely think the cures for depression,0.0
25858,recent near  year relationship break up and i have no idea how to handle myself im absolutely ruined on the inside it feels i havent been eating right or sleeping right since it happened  wks ago i torture myself to go to her facebook every now and then only to see her already in another relationship my social life is kinda crap so i have no idea how to make new friends and im too social awkward and anxious to just go to a mall and meet people the big reason im reaching out is because i feel myself slipping towards the self harm area and its a place ive been to before and im fighting to stay away from it i just cant help but have the thoughts of bringing myself pain because i feel like i deserve it i feel like its all my fault that im this way and have no way out how do you cope with this stuff everyone always says time but what if i feel like i dont have enough time or progressing too slowly that its just constantly eating away at me,3.0
25859,goddessfleur youre welcome thanks for coming down ,0.0
25860,im trying to test quotpush notificationsquot on my iphone but no luck yet  anyone got the iphone   any impressions ,2.0
25861,watching nascar and grilling with my father ,0.0
25862,at work  performing at relay for life later,2.0
25863,today ive learned today ive learned that i didnt need someone else to make me happy for people out there looking for a relationship just know you dont need someone else to complete you good vibes sending your way ♥️,3.0
25864,flotus one might wonder of the sanity and mental health of those that voted for trump,0.0
25865,we all wear masks i joke around and love being humorous i smile and laugh all the time too too late into the day and youll see when i take my mask off that i wasnt smiling at all im just desperately trying to be as happy as i once was nobody gives a fuck about me and why should i i give up,3.0
25866,i wish i got messages ,2.0
25867,chewysomething  yes well a bit more for me i have to afford a new computer first so i can play but soon after ,0.0
25868,i deleted my facebook account because of my best friend ive always been a very shy kid in school and i was really afraid to tell my feelings to anybody else maybe most of you guys understand why a friend is definitely needed in life for me back then i really needed someone to listen to mewhen i was in  grade i got a classmate whom i knew since i was in the  grade but never talked to her because of my shyness and she was in the other section back then but that time she came to me with a bright smile to be friends and that was everything to medays went by and we became real close i used to say a lot of thing to her as she used to say hers i need to mention here that i dont know how beautiful i am i think you could call me ugly but she was beautiful and she used to get a lot proposals from guys but she always used to ask me whom to choose or whom not and ultimately she decided to stay single cause i was single too i was happy that we got admitted to the same college and everything was going finebut then she got a proposal from a guy who was not a good person in my opinion so i told her to not say yes to which she got offended cause she started liking him but she never told me thati didnt think our friendship was slowly breaking apart i used to adore her still then thoughshe made a new girl friend who used to bully me because im fat and i was surprised how my best friend got along so well with that girlin the other hand i got a crush on my teacher i still believed my best friend and told her about my feelings but i noticed she wasnt listening to me that much attentively like she used to beforesoon she started ignoring my messages and then started ignoring me in college and she used to stay with her new girl friend more things got worst that day when she along with her girl friend who was now her best friend started to bully me in front of all the classmates calling me ugly fat lesbian and what not i desperately asked her why she did that to which she answered not to stick with her anymore cause im ugly and my parents werent rich as hers tooexact that night she and the other girl called my teacher and told him that i had a crush on him and after that day he started ignoring meand they started to spread hate all over the facebook about me with a fucking hashtag thefatwhore i couldnt take this anymore i deleted my facebook account i dont used any social media expect reddit which i opened a day ago ive become almost a paranoid and once again i dont have anyone to share my feeling with,3.0
25869,keep shinin ,0.0
25870,maxlagos im holding my own   wait hold the boat rewind show what show,0.0
25871,whateverdudes game at  hart park see you there ,0.0
25872,jonasbrothers everytime i see the commercial about you guys hosting the mmvas my heart breaks a little each timebecause i have to work ,2.0
25873,watching some tv being bored ,2.0
25874,it is soo sad to those greenery being hacked this tweet is just a gesture to show our protest and to get the off ,1.0
25875,people whenever im around people all i can do is wait until im by myself why do people still want to be around me cant they tell im suffering every minute why dont they leave me alone i have nothing worth while to say and everything i do say is old and repeated,3.0
25876,mmmmm lil wayne ,0.0
25877,tinkugallery thx theres a few more from that spot coming up over the next couple of days ,0.0
25878,billyburke im on the swan train on board the black boat and one of the kajillion facinelli followers im so doing my fair share ,0.0
25879,awake but still not feeling too good a bit headachey and coldified  and got lots to do my inbox when crazy this morning,2.0
25880,what is it like to lose your bestfriend what is it like to lose someone you truly loved what is it like to lose both ,2.0
25881,lducoudray yeah thats why we dont go for that one that often my fault  hm maybe we should pretend were animals ,2.0
25882, i wish i could heal sarabatchs necl,2.0
25883,ishaan says ki haath ke ghutne se mat mariye laughing out loud ,0.0
25884,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
25885,walking my ass to work then hefting  all day making sure no one gets dismembered then walking my tired sweaty self home again ,2.0
25886,photo juxtaposition my score was zero i got a � my eyes hurt  i got a  wait that�s bad hahah hilla ,2.0
25887,im in dire need of a ghostwritermy hand is hurting  ill b fine tho ddd,2.0
25888,rt rohitraikwar this song is my most favorite song ever whenever i am in stress i listen this song and after listening this song my stre,1.0
25889,ugh so randomly upcant effin sleep tweets ,2.0
25890,blipup it uploads but gives a broken link ,2.0
25891,protect this kid at all costs ,0.0
25892,tarale ya i bet youll e just fine  i miss my corolla nothing wrong just cant afford to drive it,0.0
25893,i wish tomorrow would be better ,2.0
25894,lawamporder doesnt come on again till  ,2.0
25895,i belive i suffer from a mild case of hypoglycemia the condition  paul blart suffers from ,2.0
25896,can someone wreck my shit my poems arent sad enough,2.0
25897,breakmyarms paulo is a sweetheart i know him very well  he lives in silverlake ca and is staying in nyc right now for the show,0.0
25898,aww my daddy called me ,0.0
25899,only one more week of collegeenjoying every moment left with my bests ,0.0
25900,brittnyz haha youre  sorry i cant tpye i cant barely think right now ,0.0
25901,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
25902,i think  is a little bitch because she took me off her mobile twitter updates she says i tweet too much ,2.0
25903,  my debit card was declined  carls jr today had to pay w a credit card charging fast foodbad news ,2.0
25904,so bummed right now i spent all day convinced sytycd was on tonite and i just realized that it comes on tomorrowonly bc house is on now ,2.0
25905,  every  weeks  didnt  do before and after yet  will with next shot  ,0.0
25906,lets all cycle to work kenyancyclist au sio,1.0
25907,rt blamelexx idk whats wrong with me 😂😭 i do not like people and its sad 💀 i cant be friendly if i tried😭,1.0
25908,rt  im so sad about ella bigbrudda  mcjuggernuggets and   she was such a beautiful dog and ill always m,1.0
25909,i have weird people following me again i just block somebody already they keep replying me weird things ,2.0
25910,waiting for true blood season  premiere from last night to load right now  unfortunately i have to watch it online the day after,0.0
25911,starting june  im officially changing ,0.0
25912,my love life sucks i hate being alone yet i also love it being alone with my thoughts is nice being in a quiet place is nice yet being alone with nobody to love sucks its because i suck i am kind and yet nobody wants to talk to me im ugly thats why tinder never works i find no matches i just suck at getting to know people not to mention the fact that nice guys always finish last so theres no point to me being kind or nice to people apparently you need to be a douchey vaper in order to find girlfriends ugh,3.0
25913,i dont want to be lonely yesterday february   one of my female friends had a small party two of my other female friends were there and i used to take a liking in the host so my two female friends started to send messages asking if i knew who they were with and if i liked that girl they were basically teasing me and it made me kind of sad because the host doesnt really like me she has said we should not talk over text and when i see her in the real world she seems to steer clear of me the day after the party february   i told her she should have stopped the two girls because she knew what was going on instead of asking what i was talking about or saying yesno she asked why i was talking to her i told her that i felt kind of disgusted and she should have stopped them because she doesnt like me at this point she said she would block me and i said okay after this she said it again and i left all my experiences with this person thus far makes me sad because she only wishes to remember arguments and other bad things and with everything else including my loneliness where nobody talks to me dont say i should just talk to people it becomes hard when nobody wants to talk to you i just feel like my strength is almost gone to add to all of that i have an unnecessary fear where i feel i will get in trouble if i seek help,3.0
25914,bertomio   wow he looks so sad ,2.0
25915,im so alone ive always been super quiet and awkward i had the same group throughout all of high school and now theyve all left to do their own things and im left alonetheres people i talked to at work and college but i never end up talking to them outside of those thingsi dont really know how to talk to the old high school friends who are still in the area and my boyfriend is losing interest in me because im so sad and quiet all the timewhats the point anymoreim too afraid to kill myselfbut i wish i would just wither away and disappear ,3.0
25916,existence is fucking boring i dont give a shit about school work money talking to people caring about things being motivated to accomplish some fucking goal etc its all fucking bullshit hobbies only provide a temporary distraction from the fact that existence is fucking shit and they dont even make me happy anymore like they used to what is there to do when i dont care about the things this existence is comprised of life is a game that i dont want to play so its always going to be bad existence is always going to be torture so why not end it all existence is shit,3.0
25917,  i take xanax too i have issues ,2.0
25918,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
25919,isukk yeah that the same as  year old  he seems to be pmsing a lot these days ,2.0
25920,awesome d this is probably my most anticipated weekend in a long time im ready ,0.0
25921,rt  take a depression nap ,2.0
25922,my mental health is shit lol httpstcocgoainemkp,1.0
25923,never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game ,0.0
25924,jaysinkie i think the only place you can find them is ebay ,2.0
25925,staciielynn  she said thats great ,0.0
25926,does anyone else feel like theyre so far behind the curve compared to everyone else im  compared to all my friends nothing interesting has happened in my life all my friends have better jobs than i do they have more friends they hang out ive never hanged with friends outside of school or work they have relationships ive never had one their highs are so much better than mine and my lows have probably been lower than theirs have    i honastly cant stand being around them when they start talking about their lives i get so jealous i feel like im going to puke or lash out i dont know if ill ever be able to catch up to them and it hurts me it makes me feel so fucking inferior in a deep wayi feel like i missed so many milestones that nothing can help me feel better except crying in my room im so far behind all my friends and i feel like my window of opportunity to catch up has passed a long time ago    what should i do right now i feel like fucking hell and wish i could just get ran over by a car or something,3.0
25927,i had fun with daniel menghow and my colleagues during this farm trip ,0.0
25928,still hates us airways they have and always will suck i try to give them the benefit of the doubt but everytime im let down ,2.0
25929,regua awe damn i was the next person to tweet it which was what i was hoping for but i just realized you dont follow me ,2.0
25930,im very sad to hear the news but i know taetaes strong 😔,1.0
25931,so angry sick of this crap  i cannot even kill myself   because i cant even get it together to get the stuff to do it with  because i am mentally disabled beyond belief   i truly have a learning problem  and it plus all else has destroyed me   i dont even have the option to kill myself and i am determinedbut i really needed to,3.0
25932,my subsitutes last name is wetmore ahaha ,0.0
25933,lol i officially have a folder of pictures on my computer named nathan kress  bibletime ,0.0
25934,severe depression since  and feel there is little light at the end of the tunnel ive had severe depression since i was  im now  ive self harmed in the past and ended up in hospital following suicide attempts as a person im naturally confident determined and reasonably chirpy so the symptoms of my depression and anxiety fight directly against my natural personality but it also means im incredibly good at hiding it i can laugh and joke all day at work mean while leaving to cry and sitting in my own tears at home i feel like im such a bitch to those close to me seriously needed to get this off my chest,3.0
25935,hé ré really wants to listen to nashvilles lightning  but the player i just downloaded doesnt seem to be working right        fb,2.0
25936,my momas back home  finally foooooddd,0.0
25937,we just crossed into the golden state its nice being home ,0.0
25938,davenavarro happy birthday  not a bad way to spend your birthday have a great show,0.0
25939,mudandgears spittingcat no access to pink noise but ive gone for the specials on the ipodits doing the trick ,0.0
25940,trying to take steps to get better i posted here about wanting to commit suicide a few days ago im trying to take steps to get better i truly want to live but the pain and loneliness from losing the love of my life for ten years and also the mother of my child is starting to drag heavy on me  maybe i deserved to lose her i have not always been the best person but i am trying it would help a lot of i can have people to talk to to distract me from the loneliness and thought of her with someone else,3.0
25941,spacecowboytrax whens your album out cant wait to hear it and why didnt you come to new zealand with gaga ,2.0
25942,vinzed arms times caleb i love your reviews seriously they make me smile so much ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ,0.0
25943,just happy to be alive i guess whenever i feel depressed or feel sorry for myself i just say at least im still alive i know it sounds pathetic but it helps me cheer up a bit thinking thank god im alive i can watch the upcoming avengers movie yeah theres not a lot going in my life and thats fine enjoy the little things,3.0
25944,add me in fs  and dont forget to drop some comments ty ,0.0
25945,gexy lmaooo everyone says that  well if you can get me drunk on something with a nonalcoholic taste than go fur it d lmfao,2.0
25946,smithclaire i was gonna do my homework but im not gonna be at school so whats the point ,0.0
25947,something is missing today  it just doesnt feel right ,2.0
25948,college student amp alone i dont even really know whats wrong but i cant handle not having anyone to talk to anymore so here goes tuesday i cried in the library behind one of the dividers it feels like my body smells sadness in the air and pulls me back into my homey little abyss of thoughts and fears sometimes i feel like i could lie in bed for two weeks and nobody would notice except professors when my signature is absent from the role and then concerned emails from my advisor would pile up in my inbox and it would be the most concern anyone gave me until someone needed a piece of me and sometimes its okay cause i like solitude and peace and quiet and how the sky looks on still days but sometimes its overwhelming tears get caught in my throat and its the most moisture i get all day because i cannot move to shower or get a drink of water and my mouth runs dry i feel pressure on my chest like every friend who has ever been oblivious to my sadness has taken a seat i go to class and to the gym and to the library and to my dorm and ignore my phone all day because i cant handle the hurt i feel when people ive known for years say nothing when i am missing from their lives for days at a time so i hide because i havent learned how to hide tears just yetand the tragedy i have so much to say so many feelings filling out my extremities the tips of my fingers my toes and yet i feel like i cant spill myself out to anyone i feel like they wont care or worse theyll pretend to or send me heart emojis or stop texting altogether because i have too much baggageand it all makes my heart hurt,3.0
25949,mitchelmusso   awesome  love the hair and your eyes in this piccaptivating,0.0
25950,there is nothing more attractive then your face getting sunburned and then peeling ,2.0
25951,as of today i stop letting my thoughts my actions and basically my life revolve around you im better without you anyway ,0.0
25952,rt  u ever been sad and happy at the same time this me everyday,1.0
25953,its kinda boring on twitterland todayseems to be losing it steam ,2.0
25954,my hip hurts from that mri yesterday ,2.0
25955,valerierocksyou yeah i know it sucks ,2.0
25956,fakerparis giggles yeah listening too but my i can�t sill log in at blipfm grrr my pc doesn�t work yet ,2.0
25957, thanks kelly that means a lot  have you figured out your apt thing yet,0.0
25958,carrieemmy happy almost bday my mothers bday is friday good time of year ,0.0
25959,i think i have something i dont believe in hey im more of doing this just to put my thoughts down my hand writing isnt the best in the world and i dont like looking at it so here i am and apologize if i write more than what i thought i will i havent been on the sub in a while now i dont why i did back then i guess i was just young and didnt know much and when i look back at it its not as bad as now it started when i was growing up i moved a lot went to around  different schools my father tried to get away from my mother moved around houston texas by the time i was  or so we moved to miami florida with me my sister and brother so my father wouldnt deal with her and my god it was the worst thing he couldve done long story short we ended up moving back to stay with my mom leaving my dad to focus on getting money because he couldve never afford to live in his own place for very long we lived in his brothers sisters shit even his multiple girlfriends he had all while i was moving schools and my dad was super stressed he took his anger out on me not in a physical way but mental this caused me to get depression at age  or so and most believed this caused me to get diagnosed with type  diabetes see i used to want to end myself my dad had a bunch of pills or meds due to a car crash he had when he was youngerhes  now so around  or is when the accident happened and everyday i thought of overdosing on whatever i can get from him but i scared myself to keep on pushing and to not do so it was hard but i managed skipping ahead i moved back with my mom things were ok for the most part i grew up along side my mind set i believed depression wasnt really that theyre people out there whom of which have it way worst than me and theres no reason to be sad and i had this mind set for a really long time after living with my my for a while she began to use me taking money from me making me clean while shes out drinking or partying i was home alone most of the time i wasnt so to say anti social i was just used to no going out or making much friends because id always think hey i might move again leaving any friends i had behind and never seeing them again so whats the point you know as time went on nothing changing when i was about  years old my father ended up moving back to houston i moved back with him because my mom had to moving because she couldnt afford rent and it was out of the school district being with my dad i was able to take the bus and stay in this school with people i now know longer than those i knew from other schools i got a girlfriend i went over to her house a lot as she was a true first girlfriend i had everything was ok for the most part until in  a week after thanksgiving we got in an argument he needed help with his job and required the computer but i kept questioning about the work just to make it easier for me to help him long story short he was washing a glass mug i had left out which i was gonna use but knowing his he has anger issues and would get mad over anything he can get mad over i yelled at him because he was frustrating me he then threw the sponge at my face i quickly threw it back at him because it was stupid to do so and i was angry and not thinking then out of nowhere a glass mug shatters on the table i was on inches from my face glass flew everywhere shards of them cut my face up i now have a visible scar on my face trust me you cant miss it he began to yell at me to not throw stuff at him as blood races down my face he says get in the car continues to yell at me in the car nothing about hes sorry just how its my fault and its dumb what i did at the hospital i choose to say nothing of it because i feared if i had to move with my mom i wouldnt be able to see my girlfriend that much anymore i did it for her not me i loved her and didnt want to lose interest in her the day after the incident i had a job interview it was a little embarrassing with my stitchesi got the job and began to work at the mall every time i got paid i got paper checks i gave it to my dad because i didnt know how to turn it in for money so i thought hed save the money after working there for about half a year i manage to get about  as it was a minimal wage job parttime i quit because i figured out my dad was using my money for rent because something was wrong with his job his car got repoed and had to move out i told him i didnt want to move back with my mom so i ended up moving with my girlfriends family weve been together for about a year now her mom was welcoming and knows i wont do anything immature with my girlfriend her daughter after living there and going to school i got another job its a good one tooeverything was ok my mind was positive nothing bad after a few months living here something wrong with my diabetes began i do self injections so of course i use needles everyday im used to it but recently not all of my medicine would stay in me if thats understandable it would leak out causing major problems with it this made me wake up at night do to low or high blood sugar levels making me sick in the morning not able to make it to school and one day i decided to do homeschooling as its best to focus on my diabetes and still be able to do school i had a months worth of school missed and  my girlfriend is homeschooled and she said its not that bad at this point im  years old as of last year  on november i told my father this decision i wanted to do but he just laughed and said how homeschooling are for losers and ill have no friends which isnt true at all he flipped and started cursing at my girlfriends mom and step father he was being very immature said they were brain washing melong story short he went back to florida as of last monthjanuary  he said he wont be coming back as he told me this he also said my medicaid which allows me to get medicine for my diabetes has had expired and he said he couldnt renew it due to obvious reasons and now during present time its still not im writing this because i start to think to myself im really a big reason for all of this i didnt want this for my dad to end up going back to the place he disliked a bunch my girlfriends parents to be insulted by him my girlfriends mom having to help me get homeschooled have her worried about my medicine or my girlfriend either i dont want them to have to worry about someone like me you know i think now all the time maybe its best to not worry about me anymore i dont cry anymore i made myself not to do so because i felt weak when i did when i was younger im empty inside now i have a big personality a caring person to anyone i guess im the typical just a guy wearing a mask because ive mad myself be happy no matter what my body says something completely different then my inside thoughts i could never say this to my girlfriend her mom my mom my dad my brother sister uncles cousins no one the only time ill talk is with someone i just met someone i dont know because i like to talk to new people about anything i dont know why it just makes me happy but right now i dont have that i just want to talk but i dont know if i can for much longeri know most people wont get to this point so i write this to myselfimok,3.0
25960,my pediatrician says im pink as a rose and thats good i like the sound of that ,0.0
25961,my video would be  on yt in pampb comments today but one  fake comments is ahead   can you please flag it spam ,2.0
25962,chief was suppose to be in the little league parade   the brewerstwins game miller stadium is flooded  hope its still on,2.0
25963,me and  are making tacos ,0.0
25964,xlittlemisstuki its a horror movie  my favorite kind of movie hehe,0.0
25965,my name is klem im carrying out a study on the relationship between psychological factors and pain i would appreciate your participation as the study is being conducted to help identify how psychological factors and pain relate to one another the link for the survey is below thank you ,3.0
25966,in desparate need of shoe shopping i miss nyc and cesare paciotti sigerson morrison jimmy choo and manolo blanik ,2.0
25967,karijobe cheesy amp profound make for a great mix  love it ,0.0
25968,tristanwilds wellits tuesday so im wishing that  was still on  lol are you still in prague,2.0
25969,i took a shower ive been on lexapro and buspar for about a month now i havent noticed any big changes im not feeling better but then last night when i was getting tired and almost ready for bed i thought to myself hey i should take a shower and i fucking did right then and there without hesitation without negotiating with myself the old ill do it in the morning line spoiler alert i never do it in the morning plus my shower was a reasonable length usually once i drag myself in there id rather die than get out but i did my thing i got out of the shower and i brushed my teeth and i washed my face it wasnt a constant struggle from beginning to endtheres a speck of light at the tunnel guys its tiny its the babiest of baby steps its so small that people who dont deal with this wouldnt even notice it but its fucking there,3.0
25970,okayyy  you can read it to me cause then ill feel special haha,0.0
25971,killing myself seems like the only option now id rather die young than die alone ill start off by saying  was already the worst year ever for me the only reason i havent killed myself is because i was determined to make  my comeback year within the first few hours i already screwed that up i went to the bar with some friends on new years eve and ended up going home with this guy long story short we went back to his place and had sex five days later i found out he gave me   herpes fucking herpes ive never had an std in my life not only did i catch an std i have the worst one you can get besides aidsive always been terrified of being alone forever and now it looks like theres going to be a very good chance that will happen who would ever want to be with a girl who could give them a lifong disease i know its not deadly or debilitating but that doesnt matter to most people herpes is the ultimate brand of shame no one wants that  years old and i managed to completely destroy my life all over one drunk mistake i understand that sex amp relationships arent everything but this is going to stop me from having a good quality of life im terrified no one will ever love me im terrified ill never be able to get married and have children im terrified that in  years ill be the fat lonely old maid aunt that everyone feels sorry for i cant live that way i wont live that way id rather be dead theres more dignity in dying young than dying alone more peacei thought things were going to get better for me this year obviously they arent no matter how hard i try things keep going to shit this is the last straw im not sure i can take it  ,3.0
25972,teachmeplease i was agreeing with you ,0.0
25973,i just got an ed hardy lighter its pretty ,0.0
25974,wants coco pops  but has to make to with corn flakes blurgh,2.0
25975,seajaye thanks for the ff seajaye ,0.0
25976,rt tgangiee dont you fucking hate when you think ur actually in a good place u kno happy as hell and then bam ur sad as shit again a,1.0
25977,is beginning to get a hang of twitter but not big in toronto yet ,2.0
25978,stevebrunton lmao now thats not nice ,2.0
25979,does anyone else not know how to put into words how youre feeling you just know you feel the opposite of good i want to vent but i dont even know what to say ,3.0
25980,i want to watch lost but i really shouldnt till the marathon ,2.0
25981,sometimes i think about killing myself to see who would actually care i dont want attention and thats not what its about i just wish i can see who genuinely cares,3.0
25982,leenbeats haha i like your name boodle ,0.0
25983,misses the do back  ,2.0
25984,rt lanabanaannaa paying rent makes me and my bank account sooo sad ,2.0
25985, yay icecream truck is playing pretty music outside the office window ,0.0
25986, my bf is not the sensual type ,2.0
25987,im going to miss brock this week  at least the bachelorette starts tomorrow yayyyy,2.0
25988,i wonder if anyone is following someone that they really liked but the more they follow the person the less they like them ,2.0
25989,getting ready to go to the zoo field trip with my son ,0.0
25990,i miss my baby laptop     ,2.0
25991,otw ef  wishing the lesson couldnt be boring  full of games  ,0.0
25992,feel like im not worthy to go on dates or be in a relationship please help me shift this thinking i feel like i have nothing to offer i have no friends so i cant talk about how exciting my life is and exciting things i get up too because i dont have anyone to things with therefore i fear of getting judged for this i dont have any talents or exciting hobbies just work a customer service job play soccer on weekends and work out for a living other than sit at home netflix gaming reading i dont use social media which is even more frowned upon in the gay community as instagram is the way a lot of people get validation for the other i want to be in a relationship i hate being alone but i dont go out or put myself out there because of all of this and its draininggg,3.0
25993,being the youngest in the family  getting in trouble for everything ,2.0
25994, sorrry i didnt see ur reply i was having a bad dayyy ,2.0
25995,should be in leeds being killed by diplo isnt  ,2.0
25996,i seriously feel like if there is a god i am just hisher sick joke i had been living in the city for the past  years was with a guy that i shouldnt have been with somewhat manipulated relationship we broke up two years ago tho we were still friends and saw each other frequently and i got my own apartment and lived alone in those  years i realized how much i hated the city hated commuting by the subway hated the people energy was just constant and overwhelming my anxiety was all over the place especially whenever i left my apartment so i ended up spending most of my time alone at home my only comfort was when i left the city to visit friends or go back upstate to my dads on weekends  i made zero friends there because anytime id meet someone they lived somewhere over an hour away nyc is massive so i never hung out with someone more than a few times before it just fizzled into nothing so all my social interactions were with my old college high school friends that i saw maybe oncetwice a month oh and i also grew to hate my job my boss was just this condescending and inappropriate hoarder the studio was always a mess and he didnt really care he constantly would make sexist comments to me and others there was no more growth for me at the job so i decided last november that i would quit and move back upstate to my dads when my lease was up end of februaryso over the past  months ive been getting myself prepared work wise to have a job lined up as quickly as possible for when i got upstate  had several interviews lined up for march quit my job and moved on february   i got one week one week of awesomeness i saw my friends every other day i had my car again so i was out all the time i started going to a spa where i could meditate i even had a date on the  my first interview was on the  and then everything shut down all my other interviews got postponed  i feel incredibly blessed that i saved alot of money in case  i couldnt find a job for at least  months but i had no clue this all would happenso now its been  weeks where my only interactions have been with my dad video calls and grocery clerks i dont really want to talk to my friends because they all at least have boyfriends or kids and have work from home jobs to keep them occupied i feel like i have nothing  i keep trying to convince myself that things could be worst i could be in the city by myself depressed as shit and honestly id probably kill myself if i was stuck there now but regardless i was so positive that this move was going to be the best idea that ive had in years and this transitional period right now where im stuck in limbo is just really getting to me i wantneed to work i wantneed to get out and be social im in that mode of randomly crying throughout the day and i dont see an end in sight with all of this which is terrifying to me i cant handle months of this and sadly that is where were at right nowthis is why i feel like im a sick joke it took me years to get myself out of this situation and then god is like haha nah stay in isolation some more you dont deserve to be happy,3.0
25997,reasaurus i am bored amuse me ,0.0
25998,yay i get to ride the plane with a little french bulldog next to me 🤗 anxiety gone,2.0
25999,needs help with this anxiety crap ,2.0
26000,chatting and chilling tomorrow learn  at monday agaiin school omg ,2.0
26001,started watching avatar the last airbender  its a show by nickelodeon and its awesome  ,0.0
26002,reading a book on a nice lazy sunday is such a bliss though thoughts of leaving the book and going to work r disturbing ,2.0
26003,vmbui oh eeps  btw i hope u got my dm sry i missed ur reply but no no curvy for me yet  mycharliegirl hasnt had her copy yet too,2.0
26004,school officially starts on monday kill me ,2.0
26005,thatgirljenn remember to spay and nueter your pets ,0.0
26006,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
26007,in the paraphrased words of jeanralphio catching a flight when youve got anxiety is the worssssstttttt,2.0
26008,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26009,rt emmyashirou nothing gets the ladies like fear depression and existential dread ,2.0
26010,rt keyarasimone naw fr httpstcowefkfhvsxv,1.0
26011,i just restarted the laptop and im trying out twitter hehehe ,0.0
26012,the bus was late and i walked to the next bus stop then instead i had to run and i lost my harley pin from my jacket ,2.0
26013,jaulin thank you so much for your help ,0.0
26014,lejosdelcielo jajajaja lym siempre lo mismo nosotras que sad,2.0
26015,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26016,sooo best day ever ruined with the worst night ever  ,2.0
26017,sophienetter   the america one ,0.0
26018,libbycrews i think his name is taylor hes dressed up too ,0.0
26019,abiblackmore vibe god vibe good   send ,0.0
26020,rt fact a loyal dog once stopped his owner from committing suicide by knocking the gun out of the owners hand,1.0
26021,xennybrown aw comeon u knew i was more coloured then you didnt you ,0.0
26022,my depression seed grew into a  meters tall tree in  years,2.0
26023,joshycouture i was angry to be up about  mins ago but my shoes just got delivered so now im all good  lol,0.0
26024,rt itslovemelo i try to keep telling my self to not care and be patient but do you know what the fuck anxiety is,1.0
26025,adrence will do hehe  lets go team awesome ,0.0
26026,feel like im losing my mind i have so much emotion running through my mind ranging from sadness happiness anger disappointment etc makes me feel like utter shit many days i feel like im just numb and dont want to do anything i tend to have break downs every few weeks it was worse before what causes my break downs is normally my love life and my everyday life work education etc i just need someone there to listen ,3.0
26027,well done jenson button another race victory ,0.0
26028,sallismoney no we didnt meet but i was in attendence ,0.0
26029,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
26030,getting ready for work still pretty sleepy ,2.0
26031,i cut my fingerand it hurts  ouchhhhh,2.0
26032,so today is my birthday my mom reached out to me yesterday afternoon about birthday plans the depression is really tough today and feeling worthless hello i hope everyone knows that you are loved,3.0
26033,just got home from school telly will be gone till the weekend  ,2.0
26034,another morning that i am not sleeping in ,2.0
26035,hairlessheart  aug summer hols in july so going to have as much fun as i can before dday ,0.0
26036,im here if anyone needs to chat about whats going on in their lives just know im always here to talk or listen to what you have to say,3.0
26037,hoptonhousebnb as u dont allow kids in your lovely bampb  can you recomend a shropshire bampb that does,2.0
26038,myweakness girlicious  ,0.0
26039,taylormcfly i cant believe i missed them yesterdayand mcfly was there as wellhow could i miss thatthis sucks ,2.0
26040,chesterror hahahaha ya i was a little  but i love yooooooo come trim my roses ,0.0
26041,archuphils heywhere did you order teenage magazinethanksand thank you for all the amazing updates about david ,0.0
26042,not to worry noone got that one next question starts in  minute get your thinking caps on ,0.0
26043,thinks isnt is such a good feeling when you pay off and close a credit card account  im happy  and off to get a celebration dinner ,0.0
26044,good morning friends good morning tani is cranky today very crannnnkkkyy  eff mondays too  good morning friend ,2.0
26045,is there like an alternative to death youre tellin me i have two options live or die thats it,3.0
26046,just finished watching bride wars with momwat a lame movie  so disappointed,2.0
26047,help i have absolutely no will to live i have been in bed for the last  days my back is killing me but i cant get up i sleep  hours and then just spend the rest of the time lying there i dont have the motivation to move i have been depressed for a long time and this behavior isnt new but i start a new semester tomorrow and i cant get out of bed i can deal with everything elsei just cant deal with the intense fatigue im so fucking tired and im not sure if depression can make you this tired i want to cry but i dont even have the energy to do that i have class in the morning but i cant even muster the energy to shower i cant movesomeone please help me offer me advice or tell me this is normal or something i dont know what to do and i feel like im going to end it if i cant figure out how to help myself ,3.0
26048, hear the story from both of them not by media and rumours ,0.0
26049, yeahhh i was just gonna say vimto is aceee ,0.0
26050,quotim in la bitchquot feels good  be back ,0.0
26051,loving rustyrockets website and youtube vids his search for his inner being disregarding social context and learning as he goes ,0.0
26052,mammmas got the straightners ,2.0
26053,is really loving him you mean so mucch to me ,0.0
26054,greenova i wish i could but driving that far is not in the current budget  happy birthday though,2.0
26055,what would you do with time and € of saving for a bit of happiness i tried family but i dont have onei tried having friendgirlfriend but as im ugly and socially unsuited it does not work easy onei tried drugsalcohol cannot handle anymore my health is now too weaki tried conventional traveling but as im alone i dont enjoy iti tried adventure traveling i enjoyed to bicycle travel around the world but loneliness always come back faster than ever and destroy the joy of efforti tried food i ate the most wonderful dishes in europe and asia i really liked it but i hate to be in a restaurant alone and now it gives me nauseai never tried paid sex against my ethics i just canti tried sport like trail mountain bike or paragliding  but now same problem than restaurants  alone it gives me nausea endorphin lt lonelinessi tried technology spent mostly  years as a gamer solid virtual identity buying new stuff being a rockstar developer which gave me the money but i dont enjoy gaming and stuff anymore and im sick of what internet became even reddit is now karma whoring and ohhhh so cute fuck you tech does not make me happy anymore startup is only about ego i shit on them but thanks for the moneyi tried open source my contributions are insignificant and im certainly not enough smart to change the worldi tried gambling  i lost € it was fun but not so fun wont do it againi tried philanthropy gave € here € there for social projects and permaculture no one give a shit of my low money  half of projects are now dead im not rich enough to get the philanthropic famei tried having a hobby like being an artist mechanic lowtech but im really really untalented except to develop appsi tried volunteering but because of my social nonskills associations dont want megive me some ideas,3.0
26056, breakfast with family,0.0
26057, off to hampstead we go   pick nick basket in hand,0.0
26058,spencerpratt u looked gorgeous on the today show loved ur hair amp so glad heidis better saynow  lets talk about quotlook how im doingquot ,0.0
26059,chuck alan tudyk and pixar made my day today i call that a good day ,0.0
26060,we just launched a smokin hot new user interface on pitchengine log in and check it out  httpwwwpitchenginecom,0.0
26061,savannahflower wow i didnt even know that was possible  what speed were you driving when you got the tickets,2.0
26062,why am i the only one amongst my siblings that have depressionanxiety when we all are enduring the same abuse im the eldest among my siblings and i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder my siblings and i are living in the same misogynistic and conservative society and my dad is an alcoholic whos been verbally abusive and physically abusive in some occasions when he isnt sober i cant comprehend why am i the only one whos gotten affected the most am i the weakest one i believed i was sturdy and nothing can faze me since i was the one who paved the way for my siblings when many things were prohibited and frowned upon i did all of that and now my siblings arent facing the same kind of oppression yet why am i fragile now ,3.0
26063,  someone made a stinky ,2.0
26064,nobody by mitski depression but make it disco,2.0
26065,work with no more kiddosthis always makes me soooo sad ,2.0
26066,cant seem to reply on twitter the little arrow wont show up next to the messages ,2.0
26067,do not stress just playget it httpstcorqnoozrwluandroid app rt ,1.0
26068,natasha thats hilarious quotthe lumberjack elves of san franciscoquot is a great short story title and yes im using it so no stealing ,0.0
26069,rt sarahbellef if you are spending your time worrying about a mom feeding her child in public please find a hobby or read a book or do li,2.0
26070,i am unstoppable and create amazing results in every area of my life ,0.0
26071,kingkazib and he da one gettn a meal im limited   things off da dolla menu  jk my babe takes great care of me  watchu doin,0.0
26072,mekkanikal dunno i hope it begins to work when i reach home its a scary situation just cant log in  facebook,2.0
26073,is going to sleepsweet dreams  ,0.0
26074,would greatly appreciate it  just want the guy caught,2.0
26075,is playing fallout  mins till i should start some revision ,2.0
26076,dropping brayn  ef seturan ,0.0
26077,thelele lucky its sooo hawt heyah ,2.0
26078,yes jacques martin behind the ch bench ,0.0
26079,   another  qampa pic  yeahi like this onea lot  ,0.0
26080, tomorrow they r laughing at me now lolbut i dont care im doin me and having fun   ,0.0
26081,kezbat i cant just yet ,2.0
26082,cant wait till i am a little more grown and i can own a juicy of my own ,2.0
26083,winamp mdfkr   quotand they could never tear us apartquot,2.0
26084,i have so much things to study ,2.0
26085,missionnot accomplished ,2.0
26086,just got a message from lyndon neil  i miss camp so much  ahhhhh ,2.0
26087,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,2.0
26088,a feeling of perpetual and static unbelonging this is what these last days have been like a sensation that tells me i am the odd unfitting piece in every puzzle that exists i dont have a world a safe haven for myself i let it all crumble i feel like i have nothing to offer for my loved ones workplace or the world around me all i do is consume resources and information like a black hole still and indifferent i often fantasized about ending it all but all that did was make people upset so i just quitted thinking about it too i dont know why im posting this,3.0
26089,likearolinstone thank you i was disappointed because it was closed and i didnt have my coffee ,0.0
26090,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
26091,slettvet totally  and their fees are ridonkulous  ,2.0
26092,prateekgupta good morning sirjee how r u today ,0.0
26093,littlenaddi  you gonna watch it,0.0
26094,theknickermafia tell me about it not the same as the med sun is it ,2.0
26095,depression vs bipolar how do you know if its depression or bipolar or whatever im an anxious person and am working on fixing that but have recently been really struggling with well life i feel this perpetual tiredness or exhaustion im either super happy enjoying my life or struggling to get out of bed for work and sleeping  hours a day im not happy with where i am at and for every good day i have  bad days what do i do where do i start to fix thanks in advance and im sorry if im vague and sound stupid ,3.0
26096,kyleandjackieo eurovision final ,0.0
26097,a beautiful girl has taken some interest in me and i feel like a fraud ive came a long way recently with my self confidence and its gotten me somewhere with a girl not sure where yet but she seems interested in me but on the outside i show im confident but really i feel like a fraud and for some reason i feel like im going to be exposed eventually or something,3.0
26098,rt onlyonenetra true it is really sad when some literature demeans entire language and the followers both i feel this can be overcomed,1.0
26099,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
26100,anyone else wake up in a funk today woke up at  severe anxiety went back to sleep tried again at  had to go back to sleep  rolls around and i drag myself out of bed everything is gray and nothing matters i have no one and never will have anyone feeling detached and hopeless another sunday wasted on being crippled by my mental health anyone else,3.0
26101,truffleshuffle yeah thank god i have it i still h ave all my bills that need to get paid  i hope you find something soon,2.0
26102,haappppyy  becaus i get everything i want d,0.0
26103,were just about to set off  oooooh  gonna be great to catch up with everyone tonight ,0.0
26104,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
26105,bed is so warm and cozy and bathroom is so cold and far away damn teeth that need brushing ,2.0
26106,isabelthed isabellllll  i still want your little brother,0.0
26107,slimburkett  unfortunately im up wu i cant sleep,2.0
26108,sai is our newest proxycomm distributor welcome to the team  thats  new distributors this week wow,0.0
26109,donniewahlberg wow thats freakin amazing good lucki hope were not sucking the life out of you  xoxo lesley,2.0
26110,wants the rain to stop ,2.0
26111,tysonjayritter i missed you here ,0.0
26112,candlesbytasha  me either  i found mr right amp we both have grown kids so we will just wait  grandchildren  good luck finding yours,0.0
26113,sometimes i feel like im lazy and just faking it i keep being told by some of my friends that i am just giving myself excuses of not doing work i know what i should do but i really dont know how to do any of those things even if they are seemingly easy im skipping classes and work and asking for assignment extensions and im honestly having a hard time just staying awake and getting out of bedi feel like im just being lazy im still on meds and seeing a therapist but i sometimes wonder if im just faking it i just feel so defeated because now i cant even do basic tasks and im on my bed or couch all day and my best friend thinks i need to just get my ass up because i know what i should do however i cant do any of those things that i should do anyone in similar situations im really frustrated how do i get myself to focus and get out of bed,3.0
26114,captainkirt and never let your kids have your iphone to play games without logging out of twitter first ,2.0
26115,so happy to be reunited with my  dell there are no words to describe it ,0.0
26116,just spent the night kickin it w my mom watching lit hot air balloons amp fire performers ,0.0
26117,stubakercomedy the first  weeks suck esp wpreemies but after that gets so much better tell her to dig in and hang in there ,0.0
26118,the sound of rain would be amazing right now without all the wind ,2.0
26119, is this for the video    live gt ,0.0
26120,solobasssteve youre welcome ,0.0
26121,jordannicoler im home my fucking phone wont text again ugh lol at least im follwing yoyu on twitter now  ,0.0
26122,i dont know what to do i think i have depression but i dont know i feel alone i cant seem to get happy even though i asked my friends for help but they dont no matter how hard they try i dont know how to tell my family how i feel and i cant just get therapy because im  and i dont have any money if you can help me i would appreciate it but i just needed an outlet,3.0
26123,i just made a powerpoint on relient k i think that i have way to much time on my hands  ,0.0
26124,rt makada first lady melania trump slams kathy griffin it is simply wrong and makes you wonder about the mental health of t ,1.0
26125,i think this was a bad idea the way i was taking care ignoring it my depression and suicidal thoughts was by listening to music then my parents introduced me to nirvana and soundgarden and was hooked the thing is though i think grunge has made it much worse i have been having thoughts about it way more please help,3.0
26126,rt daidaithegoon men are so trash this the reason i get hella anxiety walking through groups of guys yall like some damn vultures htt,1.0
26127,good mornin tweeps have a blessed friday ,0.0
26128, going home to see my baby   ,0.0
26129,jasdeep  sepiaverse often it gets difficult for me to follow a conversation  ,2.0
26130,storms grow in the tropics they become a wavethen depression then a tropical storm and onsome become hurricanes ,2.0
26131,time for mimis gonna visit the boyfriend in dream land ,0.0
26132,hahahahahaha lakers baby big ups to all the haters im tooooo geeked ,0.0
26133,what does thanks mean here i met a friend recently before christmas and i sent the following message to her shortly after she left hi  great to see you today i really enjoyed catching up with you  hope you enjoyed it to i hope you have a great christmas i got the following reply almost instantly thanks  hope you have a great christmas toowhat is she thanking me for heredoes this suggest that she still wants to meet again one day,3.0
26134,fartwatch yea i farted in megans room pay back for all those times you did  httpcligsqlaypm,0.0
26135,itzzzzmartinnn that makes me so happy especially with the anxiety i had over it,0.0
26136,sinistertony you spelled my name wrong ,2.0
26137, reten stupid things about infamousthat article is trying too hardpoint  makes me laugh he should try pressing o ,0.0
26138,lol just made home made spagettie  its uh yummy haha,0.0
26139,i dont know hey well idk how to start this but i think im depressed not sure ive been cutting myself kind feel like i hve to cut more just to tell someone and i have no one to tell to i told my mother once and i think she forgot and  friends the one was really close and the other just told evryone else and the rest of my community just makes fun of me saying im faking maybe i am idk why i wrote this just wanted to tell someone i guess ,3.0
26140,cassie is going to bible camp that weekend i understand  lol,2.0
26141,my wrist hurts so bad ,2.0
26142,rt torrinichelle the way these niggas disrespect yall is so sad,2.0
26143,going to see up in about an hour ,0.0
26144,aweee bom dia ,0.0
26145,brownies did not turn out now we are late for first sundsy ,2.0
26146,nothing i think at some point you no longer feel anythingyou just dont have the capacity to feel anything because its all too muchlike i cry sometimesi feel it in that momentthe sorrow and the painbut then i just feel completely emptyand i just lie herei feel my heart beating heavilybut nothing elsenothing morei dont even feel depressed anymorejust nothing,3.0
26147,giannagracee its not bad at all and im afraid of needles the scariest part for me is when theyre both touching ,2.0
26148,billarchie  izzaluvsmusic galshope u enjoy ur weekendsill try my best too despite d raintakecarehugsmuah ,0.0
26149,guess my girls are gone ,2.0
26150,  black to white ,2.0
26151, of course you are ,0.0
26152,second time going out in a rage punched the door went to the doctors for the first time since ever and now hopefully on the path to wellness just wanted to get this off my chest i had moved in with some friends after my dad passed the months had been tolling on my brain living with friends and the responsibilities of a grown adult had overwhelmed me ive had  episodes of having a manic attack where i outed my friends hearing things and losing control of my sanity working in an office desk from a job that had me working with customers my mind was losing its sanity to the point i thought i had to kill myself in order to find peace losing control and punching the door leaving a big gaping holerecent today i had gone to the doctors and gotten to talk to a professional about my feelings of anxiety unprovoked guilt and feelings of terror and suicide she had immediately shown care to me the way ive never felt before feeling calm of the situation after letting everything out id driven home and while driving back i couldnt help but tearing up that this is going to get better this will be better i just want to let someone know of my turmoil and rough background in hopes of being able to relate to someone and to say that we are in this together,3.0
26153,cant find any vids of the show last nite ,2.0
26154,i hate doing inventory ,2.0
26155,playing with synonyms feature in wolframalpha we can make friends ,0.0
26156,rt strongiife being negative and lazy is a disease that leads to pain hardship and depression be proactive and give a damn to achieve,2.0
26157,good morning everyone the sun is out again in london ,0.0
26158,live music in  ,0.0
26159,ifuseeklizzie yeah i cant wait for the second one ,0.0
26160,tanningwell kindacuz we cant go in the water ,2.0
26161,hanging out wit mac attack at the campground fixing to do somethingwishing my bf would talk to me ,2.0
26162,just disappointed i know some of yall might feel the same about what im about to say or have something to say but i genuinely do not care but i need to say thisive been stalling and stalling and stalling the fact that i need to accept this ill never ever be truly happy because i dont want to be the only thing ive ever wanted is to be the best which i most certainly will never be at anything because i can feel nothing but frustration and dissatisfaction and disappointment because im not already the best at it irrespective of what it is or how long or how many times ive tried it this movie good will hunting has this dialogue that im paraphrasing i dont try anything because im scared ill be disappointed thats why i dont try anything im afraid people will leave me and thats why i leave them first though i know most people arent rude enough to just outright ghost me i do know the sort of person i am a narcissistic piece of shit dont get me wrong but i know for a fact that ill never ever actually make friends ever because i just lie and lie and lie believe me ive tried to  not lie really tried but i believe my own lies so yeah i wouldnt know when i did lie or maybe im lying to myself right now too doesnt matter what i do know is   ill always be alone and its me whos decided that i dont know what i want what i do know is that i just cant try anything right now ive dropped a semester on top of not appearing for my last semesters examinations and flunking even after cheating through the semesters before i dont mean to boast but i am not stupid i am studying or supposed to be studying engineering in one of indias premier institutions of engineering and i know for a fact that at the very least im in the top half of the iq pool in the college but as i said not the best and hence ive just never tried sometimes i just wish i would have just chosen to join a local college that way id at least have a bubble in which i was the smartestbefore you ask no im not particularly interested in engineering i just chose it because i was relatively good at it and it was also what i was suggested and no i dont enjoy anything all i do needwant is to be the best for fucks sake i cant even play an offline pc game without cheats or a competitive one without getting more and more upset every minute i play but as im at home doing nothing i need to do something to not want to continually bang my head on the wall so i just do it day in day out getting more and more numb to the prospect of living everyday i just wish i had the guts to do all that i want to do to myself,3.0
26163,cfierce thank you ,0.0
26164,scared to recover tw rpe sicide i have severe depression includes mild to severe delusions and paranoia ex thinking everyone is a secret society member and are using their magic to get into my head and play around with me to make me go insane aliens speaking to me using thought waves to tell me to quiet my mind bc people will hear me and smell my vulnerability and be a target to torture an mk ultra experiment kind of like the truman show depersonalization happens during severe episodes and i get claustrophobic in my skin and freak out im in my body sleep paralysis nightmares people talking to me during my sleep using my mouth and it feels like theres a meeting with my guardian angels and them confronting demonic entities no other way to explain it but im an atheist so i try to symbolize this with my unconscious mind  toxic interpersonal relationships insomnia time loss and severe anxiety which honestly makes the depression worse because i get an obsession with not just suicide but gruesome murderof myself and impulsively texting people through these episodeswhich last a few monthsand thats why i have toxic relationships and they get extremely fed up with it so i then start shaming myself and the whole cycle repeatslatest therapist thinks i have cptsd trauma includes emotional neglect explosive parents going to parents when they apologize and can say i can go to them when i need them just to be shot down told i am not allowed to feel x way because children are dying and they had it worse no friends i have a loner personality excessive partying with strangers friendships last  months minimum drugged and raped in a car guilt tripped by friend and locked in his room and raped again drugged again and raped in a park addiction to sex yes i know its not an addiction but i just needed to get away from my mind zero friends or anything because im too toxic however im extremely scared to recover ive been suicidal since  used to think men were in my room watching me sleep and i tore my barbie dolls heads off and ripped the eyes out of stuffed animals because they were watching me  first attempt was at  been in and out of hospitals at least once a year since then once had a  month stay because i was grounded for my adderall addiction they thought i was dealingso they installed cameras alarms took my door off took my phone and books awayonly coping mechanism that wasnt sex and i had bad withdrawals and went crazy on too many meds to count or name im terrified to give myself another try to recoverdoes anybody have tips,3.0
26165,rt kulikovuniatf how bad are business travels for your health those who  or more nights away from home a month have higher bmi and rep,2.0
26166,i go to pick up my outdoor setting tomorrow today  just in time for winter amp garage storage bargain buy   yay  hurry up spring,0.0
26167,what a beautiful day what am i doing working oh yeh bills ,2.0
26168,thekoolaidmom nope looks like i scared him away  ,0.0
26169,ooops sorry about that last tweet with a lone url wanted to share a local flickr group with a new photographer  ,0.0
26170,watching sitcoms with the cc on fucks them up  note to the one who insists on it,2.0
26171,is running out of energy ,2.0
26172,the worst thing about merging is how time consuming it is ,2.0
26173,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
26174,rt aubreeax can someone have a house party where its strictlyjoyce manor  mom jeans the front bottomsmy chemical romance  the cu,2.0
26175,leviii i love u girl hope u move in  yay it will be so much fun,0.0
26176,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
26177,ive never been so alone in my life and its terrifying me my girl broke up with me by text and wont return my texts saw her at uni today and had a panic attack all my housemates are away my parents talk to me once a week i have no friends no one to talk to no where to go i cant stop crying and the thoughts are back telling me to end it all i dont know what to do this is probably more of an roffmychest post but i dont know how to keep going i love her and she doesnt care about me no one does ,3.0
26178,  like i saidit was really dark  cakairport,0.0
26179,vintagedm jumped off the bandwagon but hopefully driving it now hon ,0.0
26180,gnoserif i really really wanted to go to the video games live concert on  but i wont be in singapore  ,2.0
26181,stampinhannah they didnt give him anything i had antibiotics from the doctor and was told to alternate ibuprofen and calpol ,2.0
26182,minaroxx im not on the computer right now ,2.0
26183, months of unemployement not because i cant find a job but because i cant even motivate myself to look for one yeah this is stupid last year was a rough year basically my gf of  years dumped me when i started a  month intership for validating my masters in computer science so yeah it was bad luck and it didnt help that the company where i worked was complete garbage they exploted me and give me lots of problems they havent even payed me the last month i worked and it was september long story short i completed hated the job and started to doubt the career i chose and the job so i decided to take a little time for myself except its been  months and i cant even motivate myself to look for a job ive talk a lot with friends and specially my parents they still support me and tell me its okay to be afraid but i have to get out there and do it so now im supossed to send my cvs cause frankly im tired of people asking what do i do with my life or that im taking advantage of my parents its hurt so much its not like im not conscious about that i really want to change this situation but everytime i try to send and email i ended up doing something else today is this posti really am afraid of finding a job and then dont be motivated at all last one didnt work out one friend told me you got bad luck but at least u can be sure that the next one wont be as bad as this onewhats wrong with me what the hell i am doing with my lifethanks for reading ,3.0
26184,why do we keep going in the end our fate is all the same but we keep going and build up our lives as if what we do actually matters we learn so we can get jobs we get jobs to pay for what we need to repeat the arbitrary process if were physically or mentally sick were supposed to get help and we do it all over and over again until we suddenly dont we spend all of our lives maintaining our bodies and building ourselves and our relationships but when were gone its all for nothing none of it matters ive thought about this off and on for a while but lately i cant stop im not going to do anything about it but i cant be the only one to feel this way,3.0
26185,loving easton ohbut miss wifey ,2.0
26186,summer girl  wearestereos lt afuckingmazing  ,0.0
26187,gypsysorchid are you guys going to the beach ,0.0
26188,relaxing watching the yanks ,0.0
26189,chantoooy i want krispy kreme too  hi chantyy,2.0
26190, hi there how are you nice pics   lets be friends i can email you some my pictures please give me your ,0.0
26191,thegoodhuman sorry to hear wish there were words to make it better you ,2.0
26192,first tweet from im still no push option for latest version ,2.0
26193,how can i stop being so negative about everything i always feel like such a downer whenever im in social situations because over the past few years it seems like ive turned into the dude that always has something negative to sayits so difficult for me to enjoy anything at the moment i dont feel sad or suicidal at all i just feel almost numb and apathetic about everythingive scheduled an appointment with my local certified therapist office so im going to be getting professional help very soon but i still wanted to bring it to the table here are see what other redditors think,3.0
26194,cold grip that lingers in the background lately i have been feeling great been content not happy per say but stable in a way i think been okay with coming home instead of waiting till dark so i can just hide and not talk to anyone i got a new cat which is great shes shy and seems grumpy so its good to have my attention on something else but i cant help feel this i dont know really its like im nervous but there is no anxiety and its got a grip on my spine and i cant shake it iv been drinking a lot more i stopped self medicating with weed and i taken up drinking a lot more this morning i made a coffee and the first thing i did was pour some whiskey in it i didnt go to school made this bullshit excuse about doing my work from home and instead didnt do anything all day been doing this for a while and im thinking that i aint going anywhere in life which i aint but this shit never seems to stop a constant tug of war between happy and sad and the sad has been winning more and more,3.0
26195,radrew sorry to hear about that man onto other ventures i guess it has gone downhill im afraid to say ,2.0
26196,last week of my daughters a levels this week  then all set for a relaxing summer apart from exam results day  ,0.0
26197, yeap  waiting for realhope it help and create more fun for internet vietnam ,0.0
26198,katiecraton ill settle for a free jamba juice and a hug ,0.0
26199,thank you for the  ff  medicray  mosaicmuse lizzibooetsy ,0.0
26200,its not my fault my therapist keeps reminding me that its not that im lazy and its not that im just a shit lord i have depression every day is like walking through honey so its not my fault that shit is hard for me depression is a dickhopefully im not the only one that needed to hear its not my fault,3.0
26201,souljaboytellem are you going to stream anymore this evening that was fun even for an old head like myselfill probably be sleep  est,2.0
26202,fastbreaknash   that sucks,2.0
26203,account hi my new account its about many text who talks about depression love or other topiccome to see this  and for information im french so be indulgent see u soon on my account p,3.0
26204,a classic sunday good preachingthen fried chicken life is good ,0.0
26205,ask me how my addiction to yanina latorre memes is driving me down a social anxiety spiral and ruining my life ,0.0
26206,hmm pie charts might work better for me 👌🏽 httpstcoygvogbognb,0.0
26207,everything is broken first my cell phone and know our laptop power cord which dead laptop ,2.0
26208,ive become apathetic while struggling to write my senior paper been going to my university for a year now from january to august  i can confidently say that id been performing great in school but winter quarter right now is beating me up im taking  classes right now chinese and american history these im doing fine in for the most part though i have some anxiety over my chinese my third class is a class solely about writing our senior paper that we need in order to graduate  due to my own faults procrastination anxiety poor work ethic in general ive come to a point where i feel i cannot complete this paper this quarter ive experienced procrastination in previous quarters but i was able to subdue it to a point where it wasnt harmful but unfortunately in the previous quarter the prerequisite to the senior paper class i have right now was organized poorly by the professor i understand that students have to be responsible for their work but having zero deadlines on work is not a good idea so now ive talked to my professor about my research so far and hes told me not to worry about deadlines and get as much done as i can hes even said that an extension to spring quarter is fine but even with this i cannot bring myself to do any work on the paper for the past few days ive found myself just sitting at my computer all day doing nothing but browse through youtube videos while the paper keeps hanging over my head every time i look at the clock the hand flies a few hours ahead i feel that theres an ever present anxiety within me right now i used to be a pretty avid gamer but these past couple months ive found less incentive to play them due to the stress of school if i do i do not feel comfortable staying on for too long during the past two quarters i feel as if i am not living im at my wits end im trying to do some last minute research right now but i feel little incentive as well as overwhelmed ive holed myself up in my room i try not to talk to my parents who i dont feel comfortable talking to about this with my friends are busy with their much happier lives and it feels like time is speeding by as if i was close to death ive considered committing suicide if i cannot complete this paper because if i cannot write this im not destined to be a history professor later in life ,3.0
26209,i missed dcth ,2.0
26210,really need someones help with downloading a phpmotion script for me since i am banned from their forum for some unknown reason ,2.0
26211,tornpantyhose ahahahahahahaha clears throat im sorry cat ,0.0
26212,violetcreme hurrah  good luck ,0.0
26213,im sad and low yeah rip xxxtentacionxxxtentacionmusic xxxtentacionsad freexxxtentacion xxxtentacionisfree ,2.0
26214,just watched jon and kate plus  episode from last week wow that was depressing ,2.0
26215, i hope you slept well im working along at the radio station already ,0.0
26216,cayden boyd is absolutely gorgeous  new celeb obsession ,0.0
26217, cough ok for now i stay with dvds ,2.0
26218,i just get back from my hometown lots of car on the road light shining like diamond  would it be great if it really is ,0.0
26219,firebirdhouse just wish there was a way  counter it at least im not alone but jeez i cld tell you exactly when it started too ,2.0
26220,rt nickmara aint no stress on me lordim moving forward❤️,1.0
26221,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
26222,chrissyst so u are very burnt  sorry back or front burnt,2.0
26223,heading out to shoot the sunrise  then home and back to work ,2.0
26224,andrewbadera not to rub it in but it was incredibly awesome i ate a double helping ,0.0
26225,yayninamarie but your face still does   jp nina,0.0
26226,therealmvp watcha been doin out here ur twit pics look fun ,2.0
26227,i dont know why im making this so hard on myself im sitting here tonight feeling like a failure  like nothing will ever go right and that im going to have to make the decision to call it a day with my life  but whyi started looking for a new job just after the first of the year  i was going to commit the time and energy to it and get the year off to a good start  but im finding myself reading job descriptions knowing in my head that i can do them but my heart or something is telling me i cant  i find every article video blog post that says all the things im telling myself  but i can find dozens and dozens more articles say youll be fine keep going  why do i so easily believe the negativeim not applying to jobs i know i can do  when a recruiter contacts me with a job i can do i find a reason often stupidly minor why i shouldnt pursue it  ive given up on looking for a job without applying to  job   without sending out  resume  not   ive convinced myself there is no hope so why even tryi could blame impostor syndrome but im not even good enough to have that  im good at what i do but i cant let go for one damned minute and feel good about myselfits exhausting have this battle inside of me  one side telling me i can do anything i set my mind to and the other telling me that i should just give up and dietired,3.0
26228,venting because people dont want to hear about how sad you are in real life   so this life thing is pretty hard ive been sad since middle school i mean i have good times but im still just sad you know it feels like all the experiences i have have three different parts part one me being there smiling and trying to keep up conversation i make people laugh whenever i can im full of puns and situational jokey banter that people say they like and know me for part two while all this is happening theres a simultaneous panic in my head when people look to me for a response or make eye contact with me i hate eye contact people hate that make eye contact what am i doing with my body is it weird tap your leg thatll helppart three i wake up at  after every social encounter like clockwork heart is racing mind is faster everything i did and said was so dumb i usually cry and stay up wanting to apologize for existing its pretty pathetic actually i even do this when i visit my close family everyone point is im just not present i dont get what we are doing here i dont understand what im suppose to do with all of this time im not a bum i went to school i have a job in the medical field im trying to play along i just wish i could exist without wondering why i do let me explain i want to go somewhere and not get blurry vision because im so nervous i cant walk in anywhere without not being able to see straight and my words stumble and i turn the color of a fire hydrant when someone talks to me i want to be like them walk in gas station to get a drink and walk back i want to live i dont know what im doing wrong or how i got here but pretending is getting tougher ,3.0
26229,im tired of this constant fatigue pun semiintendedim a  male in my senior year of college and i literally cannot remember a time where i wasnt completely devoid of energy i slog though the day but every time i have to try to hold a conversation i can feel it draining what little mental capacity i have left idk if my depression medication helps that much all i know is that it levels me out so i feel consistent but consistent in his case means consistently tired and emotionless i guess thats better than extremely sadive been diagnosed with add as well so i have a prescription for adderall when i take the adderall i feel like my old self again — the kid who used to enjoy taking on diy projects and hanging out with friends who had capacity for intelligent thought and problem solving who had a certain degree of creativity and a good deal of motivation i feel awake and alive and i can thrive socially i can feel optimistic i know its an amphetamine hence the energy boost but it feels like the only way to get to normal i just dont know how to keep shuffling through like a zombie anymore i dont like to have to depend on drugs when everyone else is already full of energy without the same crutch i exercise every day i eat healthy i get enough sleep but i still feel drained like a plant that hasnt been watered i feel like the personification of a glass of flat sodajust wanted to try and write this out somewhere started going to counseling recently and thought writing things out might help me to understand what to talk aboutthanks to anybody who takes the time to read,3.0
26230,rt schoolfession when someone says dont be anxious and your anxiety is cured ,2.0
26231,got back from the spring concert last band concert of the year  going to the bandquet tomorrow ,0.0
26232,going on msn talking to somewhone pretending that im happy ,2.0
26233,no sad no bad days in la ima sail the seven seas just to separate myself from the fakes,1.0
26234,kilodelta yeah i think i could relate it to that after awhile i opened all the doors because i couldnt take it anymore ,0.0
26235,i need money for wow membershipim not downloadin patches for nothingwould be playing tomorrowbut quotsomethingquot came up ,2.0
26236,rt morgannsnyder you ever feel like you have a super happy personality but a super sad soul amp its just the weirdest most fucked up thing,0.0
26237,what made you 😊 what made you smile today and did that brighten your day even if it was a little,3.0
26238,mall day with hannahhhh  i love my bestfriendddd  ,0.0
26239,iamfeeq yummy haha but i dont have any boobs so camne i just wanna wear some shorts and a singlet hows that ,0.0
26240,theres  billion people trying to live were not special but we can still try,3.0
26241,meat on suicide watch,2.0
26242, yeah i know same herejust cant it to do what i need ,2.0
26243,peytonmelissa happy birthday ,0.0
26244, tweets  probably the coolest thing ive read on the inside of a shoe  on twitpic  auto descriptio ,0.0
26245,grittyman yeah i didnt leave the strip  im trying to visit cali though bc it looks so pretty amp now that i have a tour guidelol,0.0
26246,aw my pet duck just came to visit me ,0.0
26247,nosuchuser minis are waiting here ,0.0
26248,annettestatus happy birthday  your youtube videos are amazing,0.0
26249,iamspectacular all i can say is damn speechless ,0.0
26250,is off for a weekend of soleil plage amis et gourmandises ,0.0
26251,rt patamapost dont feel sad over someone who gave up on you feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never gi,1.0
26252,definitely made the mistake of wearing the shoes that were rubbing my feet yesterday againsilly chi ,2.0
26253,i really thought i would never go back here but here i am and the reason why is friendslast year i mostly recover from depression and made my life better by improving myself physically mentally and sociallyhowever these classmates that became my new friends that i made bring me back to depression for the last several daysive done everything i could to make me likeable to them i helped them make jokes sticks to them teach them in class but none give it back to me none ask me how im doing or support me when im downthey never sticks with me rarely ask me out left me out in event and only seek me when its convenient and useful to themso ive decided fuck these people and i hate all of emnow what should i do as most of them are my classmates should i unfollow them on socmed as my first movedont give advice on how i can fix the friendship back cuz i already tried,3.0
26254,aussiemcflyfan aw  im so so so so so so sorry do you know if shell be alright or not xxxx,2.0
26255,some people dont believe that im actually   specifically wardere amp jaredxd dicks proof httpxpbmefffuuuujpg,2.0
26256,this retrograde is making me sooo fucking sad and emotional,2.0
26257,god damn hiking boots are expensive ,2.0
26258,im waiting for my paint to dry and daydreaming of another move to the big island of hawaiiim very excited and nervousmahalo  ,0.0
26259,why are there weird people following me on twitter  except jelynn shes more to madness hah,2.0
26260,has taken a break from reading new moon to spin and now is heading back to it  ,0.0
26261,sneezing away like nobodys business damn hayfever ,2.0
26262,enjoying a proper twoday weekend and its bliss seen the local marina been baking and missed the rain everyone else seems to have had ,0.0
26263,crasham thanks for the add woman  enjoy your weekend ,0.0
26264,its raining and lightning and i want to go in the pool ,2.0
26265,has more softball today not a game tho just a practice but my arm is still sore ,2.0
26266,lookandtaste being healthy today as made far too many sticky chicken wings last night ,0.0
26267,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
26268, one of the best things to get me out of a depression funk is buying fastfood and eating in my car in a parking lot and watching ppl idk,1.0
26269,nate leaves tomorrow ,2.0
26270,i cant tweet anymore until exams finish explain tomorrow ,2.0
26271,is all alone haha still watching wowowee  httpplurkcompxsjfv,0.0
26272,codyk as she should be ,0.0
26273,eatthedocument totally agree im viry excited for that movie ,0.0
26274,richardbpenn my weekend was fine  just went by much too quicklyas usual    now i gotta gear up for a wk of work bleah,0.0
26275,imajicart sounds good to me   love to do some painting at the moment  know as soon as i get it out  ill hve to put it away again ,2.0
26276,jasminanguyen im way more stupid  how could i be so blind,2.0
26277, lets make it  straight ,2.0
26278,it is now  in the morning time to go to sleep ,0.0
26279,dojie it was just had them cleaned feels weird but cleaner  when is your appt,0.0
26280,i feel confused and i am worried that i am becoming a bad person ive been highly anxious since elementary school this nervousness has been increasing throughout my life but took a large leap three years ago when i had a major low point maybe it would qualify as a mental break down  i frequently feel guilty for being as socially awkwardunpleasant as i often am loneliness has been a  something year struggle im how can i address feelings like this i have been trying to find a counselor and these days i try to stay proactive i dont really have a family so i guess asking the internet is an alternative i think that i may lack coping skills because when life hurts me as life often does to people it just feels like pain that sits for weeks its like the sirens go up and i quit functioning because i cant refocus my mind,3.0
26281,jlynnschweikert drinkmein obkb and steve and the pups are coming too cu in  ,0.0
26282,i decide people dont like me anymore when i am depressed ive lost a lot friends because of this,3.0
26283,heading to nyc  tired as hell but getting in gear,0.0
26284,how the fuck do you get over a crush even after being a hardcore misanthrope i still have this fucking feeling for a girl she had made it clear long back that relationships are not her kind of thing and her parents dont encourage any of that love marriage shit i find her to be very decent and here lies my fucking problem i always get attracted to suh people with whom relationships wont workouti recognise my faults and its only my fault that i developed this feeling for her im trying so hard to forgo those feelings but nothing seems to help not even death metal actually  im fucking jealous that some other guy will get to enjoy her decency her love and her body what the fuck manfuck these feelingsthe sooner i get rid of it the better can anyone help,3.0
26285,lfta  httpbitlylykyo watch this ,0.0
26286,rt plynteria adachi i became a cop just so i could legally carry a gun and kill peoplena fans oh fuck yum i love the edgeakechi i,1.0
26287,pembsdave thats the reason for the move her social life has been based down there for  years lots of contacts and a mad crowd ,0.0
26288,depression and telling teacher i self harm sooo you read the title i have felt depressed for a year and the only person who knows is my english teacher he is extremely nice and supportive about it and lets me go to him whenever i can just leave a class to go to him about  months ago i started self harming i know its bad and i should get help before it gets worse i know he will be nice about it but the school will have to tell my dad and my dad doesnt even know i feel down let alone selfharmi just feel so depressed at the moment also my friend keeps joking about me selfharming and says stuff out loud for everyone to hear and its unconfortable im also a dancer and do so many sports also its summer soon and it is visible also i wear a skirt to school with no tights so its very risky wearing a skort in pe is also uncomfortable with gcses around the corner aswell it will get stressfulis it worth telling him as he is really really nice can get me help stop the girl from exposing me etc but my dad will have to know,3.0
26289,its such a sad day i can feel the pain in my chest ,2.0
26290,itsangelcarter twitter is easyull seehehe ,0.0
26291,help i dont think im going to make it much longer with the way my life is going i fuck up everyday i dont care about anything or anybody i feel like no one cares about me either ive lost almost all my friends my family doesnt caresorry i dont really know how to start topicsconversations im  years old and in this moment i genuinly want to die ive had this feeling plenty of times but this time is different i can usually find some form of a vice to keep me from going over the edge but this time i dont feel like anything is keeping me from ending everythingive struggled with depression or whatever is going on for a good portion of my life i used to be able to draw up the will to continue or i had some reason to keep existing but things have been so hard lately that i dont know what to do suicide has sounded nicer and nicer as each day continues to drain me and my will to live ive tried therapy opening up to people i picked up a smoking habit just to have some feeling instead of nothingness but nothing has helped i open up people get freaked out by too much honesty and eventually leave therapy felt like a waste of time and smoking was cool for about a year but now that i just smoke by myself its only been getting more depressing each time i dont know what to do i just want it to end why cant i exist and just be happy i hate my friends family current job the place i live etc i used to have passions like music and other creative outlets but how can you create if there is nothing to draw creativity from i feel like a waste of talent skin and airsorry if this post is all over the place my thoughts are all over the place and ive had a very hard day tbh i dont want tomorrow to come if i just never woke up that would be a dream come true pun intendedidk how much got accomplished from this but this is my first post on this site so it was going to suck anyways i never feel like i can explain how i feel correctly but basically what i want to accomplish from this post is that i want to find someone who would be willing to help me because ive run out of options so i want to see if i havent taken somethings into account before i end up offing myself thank you to anyone who read through my shitstorm of a first post,3.0
26292,forgot about my old twitter account please follow itsjeff i will stop this account sooni prefer the address that doesnt have my age ,0.0
26293,must stop eatingbut works so dull ,2.0
26294,searching for friends but to no avail  i am so lonely   please let me find someone to ease my anguish,2.0
26295,i love midweek drinking im just a bit upset that i wont be able to do it to such so much when i start working monday  friday ,2.0
26296,fejimanz lol i was being sarcastic  my salary has already been cut  this year so the loss of  more days is just an quotoh wellquot,0.0
26297,i refuse to be attached i just got a dog in hopes that shed help me with my depression even though ive only had her for a day and a half it did the polar opposite it made me realize im too much of fucked up cunt to even take care of her if i cant take care of myself how can i take care of a dog it made me realize how truly depressed i am as i slowly watched her become depressed in a matter of a day from this shitty small spaced apartment i live in her separation anxiety didnt help me either considering she was stupidly aggressive towards me if i even tried to leave i balled my eyes out realizing how really fucked i am in the head for about an hour straight now i couldnt help but breakdown as soon as i gave her back and got back inside im tired of being attached to anything in general everytime i try with someone or something i only become more empty as i tend to get used a lot and i trust too easily sorry if im ranting im just drowning in my tears and i really needed somewhere to dump this,3.0
26298,with the wife getting up mad early tommorow sweet dealll time for bedddd ,0.0
26299,doing homework  ,2.0
26300,i can only feel sadness or anger im tired of this its been months since ive felt pleasure or happiness i dont remember how it feels to wake up excited for a new day i want everything to end nobody cares about me my only mood swing is when something makes me mad and when i forget about whatever dumb shit pissed me off sorrow again im a failure i fucked my youth and now i cant be a functional adult i dont have friends of course i dont have friends im so boring so dull people only care about me to fix their shit i go days without a single texti dont enjoy things i like anymore in the past when i felt like this i could get some fuel out of exercising or playing games now im drained and cant get enjoyment or pleasure out of anythingits gotten to a point where i cant remember what ive done the day before i only leave home to go to school my classmates dont care about me my friends dont care about me do i even have friends i dont think theres anyone in my life i can call friendthe idea of suicide grows bigger every day if only i had a gun i wouldve done it a long time ago the only thing stopping me from going wrong way in the highway is how unreliable it is,3.0
26301,physically broken and cannot be fixed again as time keeps going by ive realized im losing hope in myself and my future my insecurities have taken over my life and i cant seem to enjoy little things anymore i feel trapped in my body and i feel so uncomfortable i reallly want to end it but theres a small part of me hoping something flips ive felt broken and numb for awhile now and i dont know what to do anymore i just want a hug,3.0
26302,so tired from work i wish i had a long weekend ,2.0
26303,hate work my hair is grey and i have a photoshoot tmrwfucking excellent ,2.0
26304,bethenny omg you went to see kathy glucky u    she is a funny gal xx,0.0
26305,rtrgrrl ur cat is cute ,0.0
26306,been shopping bought some shizzle nearly packed westbourne park here i come aurevior nyc    i dont want to go yet,2.0
26307,silvertales hey you alive i havent seen anything from you for a bit ,0.0
26308,but im afraid i have to go now ,2.0
26309,rt whattheffacts daydreaming is good for your brain  it makes you more creative but in some cases it can cause depression,0.0
26310,chicken curry for dinner uhoh this is gonna make me fart all night lol i miss bubba ,2.0
26311,is trying to get a picture up but cant do it ,2.0
26312,no se porque siento que mañana no tocarán quotfight fire with the firequot ,2.0
26313, ,2.0
26314,  i just realized the extent of my sunburn it stings ,2.0
26315,lost my phone  temporarily haha but i cba to look for itcant wait till i get my new one,2.0
26316,erinhere i  ny as well   oh and nph,0.0
26317,glad me and andrew had that talk got alot of things cleared up and were good now  ,0.0
26318,acidink eep its awesome and he hurt demi  but i cant wait to read the rest of this ,2.0
26319,raynes   glad ya like  thats me  out tha cam  see im normal  sometimes,0.0
26320,missottawa  that sucks then lol,2.0
26321,allyrockstar ok i get it im not a badass ,0.0
26322,today the best concert ever is one year ago linkin park live in munichi will never forget ,2.0
26323,backstory whats next weeks topics i learned a lot from earliers show ,0.0
26324,i relapsed im scared right now i cut myself and im bleeding on my sheets and i didnt mean it i wanna go back but i cant and now when they see it im gonna have to leave again and i just wanna cry because im so overwhelmed with bullshit life is unfair and you cant fix things when theyre broken and i just wanna be normal and happy but im just sad   and i just wanna be okay i dont want help i just wanna be okay just for a little bit,3.0
26325,will getting a pet help ive never had a pet all my life because my mom hated animals now that i live alone feeling so shitty and worthless i tought about getting a pet dog do pets help with lonelyness and depression anywhere i go when i see a cute dog it just makes me feel better since i have no friends a dog would be a nice idea what do you guys think,3.0
26326,i finally accepted my doctors recommendation for an antidepressant today is day  ive been fighting being on antidepressants for years for a few reasons i know so many people that have gained so much weight on them and i didnt want to do that too i already have a thyroid problem and ive been gaining a lot of weight this last year alreadybeing military doesnt help ive got some pretty strict weight standards to stay in people like to say that theres not a stigma about it but thats definitely not true i dont want to get passed up for certain assignments or sent somewhere other than my current work because someone thinks that i cant handle something or that im weaklastly i think that i had been avoiding them for so long because i knew that if i took them then that meant that thats it i am officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety i already had been but in my mind since i wasnt taking meds that made me not that bad and i just didnt want that i wanted that pretend feeling of everythings okay im okay because if i wasnt okay then of course i would be on a medication but im not so i must be fine im okay im okay f im not okayi just want to not feel like garbage everyday and im tired of my anxiety ruining everything for me i really hope this works even if i get fat even if i get freaking booted out of the military even if im very officially not okay,3.0
26327,screw you starbucks and your lack of free wifi keva juice all the way even though theres like  in the country ,0.0
26328,lalavador yucky everything in roseville makes u feel spoiled can come stay w us when home sick ,0.0
26329,im already done with  only  days in and this year has already sucked in the first week of  i almost got a divorce almost things worked out the second week of  i nearly lost my job because my manager kept telling me i was a horrible employee the general manager had talked to her and my job remained the third week of  and i injured myself on the job theres a chance that i could need surgery now i cant support my family i feel like my wife hates me because she cant do things she wants to anymore even though i have told her several times that she can but she refuses to listen to me and i just downright feel useless with wic and foodstamps coming to an end because of our president who cares more about a wall than the american people how am i supposed to take care of my  month old my wife and myself why the hell is this all happening to me to my family,3.0
26330,officialcharice ooh youre so lucky it must feel really great to sing with her huh  thats so cool ,0.0
26331,ive lost the ability to connect with people two years ago i moved to another country and my depression got so much worse so i started medication and i guess i could say i got a little better since i moved ive struggled even more to make friends and im now realizing a dont have a single real friend here yes i talk to people but i dont connect with them they dont know me in two years i havent been able to make a single friend i can ask to have lunch with i dont anyone who i can talk about my problems i have small talks with my classmates but as soon as the class ends i leave its almost like i cant deal with being around people i barely talk to my friends back home and i dont have anyone here im completely alone nobody would miss me if i left probably nobody would even notice ,3.0
26332,going to ski dubai tomorrow snooowwwww anyone wants me to bring home some ,0.0
26333,ellapaigebabe kk i will  and ive never seen charmed lol xxxx,0.0
26334,missdeemented hey congrats thats awesome ,0.0
26335, i agree thanks emma and wayne ,0.0
26336,tiffyniffy ughh  i twieddddd i wuv you booface ,2.0
26337,rt lbcarrod i feel pretty sad rn but tbh this made me smile man this is a throwback to the long beach days ,0.0
26338,my kitchen makeover is coming along so sweeeet now if only the rain would leave ,2.0
26339,netra  have any extension and probably thats why it doesnt show in any twitter client ,2.0
26340,amiemccarron call the puppies over to help clean up ,0.0
26341,via madwilliamflint  this is cool ,0.0
26342,still very sick ,2.0
26343,joedoll been up all night and morningmum in icu and not looking good joe doll ,2.0
26344,funky freddy�s blog � blog archive � teaching in second life  via tweetmeme guidance please ,0.0
26345,there is hmm i need to explore that site a little more  yeah if you could link me thatd be awesome thhanks,2.0
26346,hugh so early  wish we were done moving two days until cali ,2.0
26347,followfriday noahsmami one cool person i tweet with that actually isnt anywhere inaround philly ,0.0
26348,why do i hate myself so much i am  get good grades have loving parents and ok friends im supposed to be enjoying my teen years yet im in my bed crying and hating myself therapy didnt work pills didnt work and at this point i dont know what to do anymore anyway there is no real answer to my question and i know the sub is quiet right now so im not expecting anything it just feels nice to vent from time to time sorry for taking your time and have a nice nightday,3.0
26349,went to chris amp beffniis house after school today  but chris manhandled me d,0.0
26350,cant believe this is jay lenos show ,2.0
26351,i just wannayou knwo what ,0.0
26352,ohhaii sunshine  deffo doing some revision today shout at me if i dont ,0.0
26353,wow no one seems to be tweeting today must be off having lives while im stuck here in bed trying to fight off whatever this is ,2.0
26354,xmen origins looks cool follow me people ,0.0
26355,hello my name is bob an im an iphone addict i just got up to go to the bathroom and i took my phone with me ,2.0
26356,jennifergearing  hiiii  i fail at being on the internoodles of late ,2.0
26357,dead  work until  fml ,2.0
26358,i cant believe im doing this im new to this sub ive struggled with severe depression amongst other things for as long as i can remember people would be surprised to know i am writing this i am a reasonably successful person and highly highly functioning i just dont know how much longer i can do this though and unfortunately the few people in my life dont have the capacity to deal with this i just want to say to all of you who dont feel seen that i see you and amongst the many failures of this world is the failure to address the very real issue of depression and the millions who suffer from it thanks for listening,3.0
26359,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
26360,just burning stupid windows seven to a dvd gonna try and install it on my old pc cos it wont let me use aero on my virtual machine ,2.0
26361,laker game  senior brunch  graduation wednesday grad night wed night woo hoo  ,0.0
26362,quintinwashingt i never did ,2.0
26363,still havent opened my bad to do hw  maybe i should its like ten to  s,2.0
26364,halfamind yeah still have a few more cards to be making too  keeps me busy,0.0
26365,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
26366,katyalir just finished farpoint  but now sleep is a priority ive been awake entirely too long see yall later,0.0
26367,just watched the police fish that poor kid outta ringwond lake   what a sad end to a saturday night  ,2.0
26368,what is fun im so tired of doing jack shit every day when im not at school i do nothing but sit inside and play the same videogames mostly grand theft auto online because the game is such a grind and i can literally spend  hours a day on it i dont even enjoy videogames that muchthe problem is i dont know what else to do i have no friends and even if i did theres nothing i could go do with them because nothing really interests me my dad once asked me while i was playing gta right now at this very moment within a reasonable budget if you could go out and do anything what would it be obviously wanting to go do something with me i just said i dont know and even after like  weeks i still have no clue what i would want to do i tried doing art for a while so that at least if i spent all day in my room id have something to show for it but im awful at it and my mind gets way too toxic to let me learn how to get better i have the imagination to do art but the toxicity in my mind makes it near impossible to enjoy art and improve my skills i took art lessons for  years anyway and im quitting soon so how do i not be like this how do i not hate myself to the point where i drive myself away from any potential interests how do i make friends despite being awkward and afraid to meet new people fun hasnt been a part of my life for about  years how do i have fun,3.0
26369,scarlet amp  little princesses  march  miniapolis plaza indonesia  hanny in sad dove act ,2.0
26370,staying up to see the last episode of the tonight show with jay leno  cant wait for conan to come on,0.0
26371,neufena no way this has just got  times more surreal fucking hell ,0.0
26372,italylogue i am glad enjoy your time in italy  i hope you get to see a better match from ac milan than yesterdays,0.0
26373,im sleepy and i dont like homework ,2.0
26374,saddness does anyone have any tips on how to stop crying so much any video i see or post i read that has any emotion in it i can feel it and i tear up what is wrong with me ,3.0
26375,firestoned  dude stars are always awesome    surprised to see you tweeting,0.0
26376,gingernyc muchas grasias fellahope youre havin a mighty fine day yourself amp gettin some much deserved family time ,0.0
26377,my poor brother ,2.0
26378,omfg desperate housewives was sooo sad i never realized how much edie was a part of the show now shes gone ,2.0
26379,platinumivory ive been battling depression so i guess along with all of that its lead to a lack of appetite or the drive to eat food,1.0
26380,i dont even want to commit to a movie i cant seem to just make myself start to do something enjoyable anymore  am i just lazy im scared that ill just end up alone and have nothing driving me anymore music is starting to just seem stale i have so many good friends but i feel as though after they leave and move on ill just have nothing again and everything ive worked for will disappear am i making any sense,3.0
26381,when i kill myself i will wear my favourite suit navy blue suit white shirt dark red tie to match the speckles of blood dotting the walls around me maybe ill decide to put on my favourite pair of brown oxfords toothatll be the outfit ill be in when i finally resign myself to the pull of glock  trigger mechanism at  years old a single pull to end all the bad thoughts a single action to rescue myself from the torment of my dismal situation that dismal situation you might ask the ephemeral case of unrequited loveright now i lay with a night where the moon shines baleful and bright its gentle light haunting my room had it been a year ago i would be perfectly content in the company of only the moon but i want more right now i want a girl that cant want me back when i confessed my feelings to her she said she has a crush on me but shes afraid to date reason being her religion shes a witness and shes never been in a relationship beforewe still hang out a lot and when im with her im the happiest guy in the world but theres an inarticulable feeling looming in the crevices of my mind people tell me i need to cut her out of my life easier said than done i just cant rationalize myself to escape her presence or form a healthy cordial relationship with her where were not boyfriend and girlfriend i presently have the opportunity to but my desire for me forbids me and thus i am sad and have been since the leaves started falling last year depression crashed itself into mind because i cant call her my girlfriend with it the endless tides of sorrow and thoughts of a future that im not a part of a future not being with the girl i really love ive told myself thats not one i can endure my heart flutters then aches when i think about her sometimes moments of delusions are maliciously cast into my mind delusions where we can be truly together only after they fade is my sadness exponentialthoughts have parsed my rotten mind with the idea that not existing wouldnt be so bad thats where it started a simple idea that not existing wouldnt be the worst thing in the world then as i lay in bed hopelessly forcing myself to fall asleep to escape reality the thought crosses my mind that not waking up ever is seriously inviting after hours battling with my thoughts i am forced to waken in the early grey dawn forced to meander to the subway to monotonous legal lectures forced to deal with my thoughts of her all over againim weakwilled i dont want to endure these thoughts anymore i know time heals all wounds but i dont want to wait i cant anymore i want to forcefully remove them from my mind i think the power of ballistics firearms can aid me im taking the easy way out and i want to wear my favourite suit whilst doing it,3.0
26382,iamnovel ah ur with harold tell him i say hey and that im still waitin on my package of jodice tunes  lol,0.0
26383,therealjordin tried to find song couldnt find yet  guess ill have to wait   mins to go,2.0
26384,quotblock everythingquot says china   ,0.0
26385,rt  me pretending that my depression doesnt effect my daily life httpstcoousbvbxnso,2.0
26386,my name was in the paper today for the yearbook ,0.0
26387,sometimes i hate being so self aware and i dont do anything about it im lazy useless awkward i have no friends my future looks grim i know this i understand this i dont need my parents to call me lazy and useless all the time trust me i am perfectly aware of this but i just cant find the will to do anything about it,3.0
26388, no not the tanning smell the lotion smell again i have said something wrong ,2.0
26389, already awake ,0.0
26390,so this is my first time at church since last month woops talk to you all after service ,0.0
26391,dont wanna speak to anyone right noe ,2.0
26392,theres nothing to watch on tv its driving me nuts but i really should be asleep right now ,2.0
26393,no more weave  i wish my hair grew fast,2.0
26394,sambennington sounds like a great plan  i went shopping yesterday and i had lots of fun  have fun luv ,0.0
26395,officialnjonas i will be ,0.0
26396,was looking at a bunch of my old videos and found footage with old friends i really miss them and im really just ,1.0
26397,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
26398,drakepresident nov  anxiety emaol to students profs friends asked for potus sensitivity toward climatechange httpstcogeqrgazirr,0.0
26399,im coming off my medication and is it supposed to be rough ive done a few weeks of hyper mood swings and now im back to just wanting to do nothing but sleep and be left alone as to the why well i wanted certain side effects gone but it was my doctors idea to just see how i went but fuck i am not enjoying this this is bad fuck do i eat this be a man and ride the fucking rollercoaster or can i really not fucking do this,3.0
26400,whoa camarling just introduced me to refused  a band so ahead of its time totally missed the boat   watch,2.0
26401,does anybody else keep on forgetting things i am in the middle of a conversation and i just blank out i text a friend hey and when they text back after a while  i forget what it was about  this has been happening for a while now and i have read that depression actually does that  sorry for bad english ,3.0
26402,cazob okay lolz thankyou    ,0.0
26403,rt loveforgal i had a dream i met gal at disneyland hong kong for some reason they were filming wonder woman there she was in her full,0.0
26404, a suprise is always special ,0.0
26405,minish i love how pessimistic you are all the time ,0.0
26406,cant sleepin need of entertainmentbadlyyyy ,2.0
26407,starting to read the wedding by nicholas sparks ,0.0
26408,might be getting two female chinchillas free  dad just has to give the okay,0.0
26409,  haha well i wasnt ready for this picbut i kinda like it ,0.0
26410,lovebrijones  its with city colleges so ive been here from  and prolly wont leave netime soon ,2.0
26411,theellenshow aw god i live in chicago but i was in school  lol,2.0
26412,idk just some random thoughts i really feel like i should just get rid of all the games that i own maybe except for the ones that i really love i think gaming is starting to become a waste of time and a bad hobby for me and i dont see much point to playing games if i dont get much enjoyment from them hell even reading is starting to become more enjoyable than playing games and i stopped reading a while ago because my depression was making that less enjoyable tooi know that i probably shouldnt sell my games because it could convince me to sell the other things i own too and that would just make me even more suicidal but at this point i dont fucking know what to do anymore anyway i really just feel like dying would be better for me anyway since i wouldnt have to deal with all this shitty boredom and not finding enjoyment in things that i used to loveliving is just becoming so exhausting that death is becoming that much more appealing,3.0
26413,tracecyrus themasonmusso  blakehealy and anthony thank you  coming i was very glad to meet you ,0.0
26414,lostininaka yup the mammary glands they animate are known to have a life of their own  not that i mind o,0.0
26415,packing for rock am ring scared no not at all  but it will kick ass ,0.0
26416,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
26417,finally monday    at college w jusillarafaelampceli,0.0
26418,hungry nothing yummy to eat ,2.0
26419,becoming jane great movie my mother and austin  tsk,2.0
26420, i cant this sunday  and work is sending me out of town again next week why dont you guys come with me next weekend,2.0
26421,officialcee i kno thats way too long  haha,2.0
26422,joleenchaney you went to a lot of trouble for romy amp michele hope they were worth it ,0.0
26423, yes wet race pleassseee ,0.0
26424,i just dont care about anything anymore  in august of last year my grandpa was backing out of his driveway to go get dinner from a restaurant then my dog came up to his truck and accidentally walked right behind the wheel of his truck i was four or five feet away while i watched my dog get ran over in front of me the only feeling i felt was complete shock it took me about fifteen minutes to actually feel any emotion since then ive just stopped caring about anything because the worst thing that could ever happen already happened in a traumatizing way now the only thing i really worry about is our new dog when we drop him off at my grandparents house i hate that we dont leave him at a pet hotel or something i came here to ask if its an early sign of depression ,3.0
26425,rt merderswift imagine how nice it would be to not have social anxiety wow wish i could relate,0.0
26426,i added a video to a youtube playlist  xxxtentacion  sad official music video,0.0
26427,i held a gun to my head this morning so some explaining first now that i looked at it ive dealt with numbness for over a year maybe  just thought that was how you where supposed to feel sometimes i was happy or sad id laugh smile but when i wasnt id just be numb most of the time these last  weeks tho have been rough last week i felt something i was so down and depressed i wanted to die but i felt something then i had a really good day and it faded i felt happy but then after the happiness faded i became numb again i dont feel anything and that makes me hate everything all i want is too feel something even if its sadness i get frustrated because of it which is one of the few things i feel when im numb i can also feel excitement but not much anyways this morning idk what i was thinking but i just sat there and i grabbed the handgun and pointed it at the floor then slowly put it too my head  it was loaded btw  but i couldnt get myself to pull the trigger i dont really wanna die theres so much in life i wanna do but at the same time i dont really care if i do die im just mad at myself because if i would of pulled the trigger i would of basically been killing my bestfriend shee dealt with mild to severe depression all her life and has already lost someone too it so if she lost another i guarantee she would commit as well as id destroy my family it would probably rip my parents apart i just wanna feel something again,3.0
26428,summer   lets make a memory ,0.0
26429,i havent been great and its been longer than the depressive episodes i normally have and i dont know how to talk about it without feeling guiltyinvalid even posting this is difficult i dont want to feel helpless amp i dont like asking for help i dont know why i dont know im feeling a little helpless im disgusted with myself,3.0
26430,i wish anxiety didnt consume my life,1.0
26431,bjango give us some hint about the new apps please ,0.0
26432,waking up really late stinks missed an opportunity to see my family  at least my hips are feeling a little better,2.0
26433,wastedtalent first you will be bakedthen there will be cake ,0.0
26434,i feel like summer will be over soon ,2.0
26435,nombradnom i lost my ipod ,2.0
26436,time is an illusion and all time is now quotyou ready to have some fun  i thought soquot read ariels full article  ,0.0
26437,bf one block away ,0.0
26438, get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
26439,idk anymore guys  when i was in  grade i had a huge crush  i told her and she said i was ugly and had no swag i was so heartbroken i didnt really feel loved ever since that day i  thought i was ugly had no swag fast forward from  grade ive had a major glow up i look like two different people  i get compliments literally all the time everyone is nice  life is great right  no i still think about that moment in  grade i feel so ugly and its ruining my life girls dont think im interested in them at all when i really am i meet them get there number and everything is great  then all sudden the insecurities kick in i dont text them back because i think they wont be interested in me after a while of talking  i ignore them when i see them  i try to avoid them  when we text i say dumb things like ya wanna play ding dong ditch  i dont follow up on our plans  and this causes me push them away i just feel so bad and i dont know what to do anymore  and its crazy because i know they like me  but i still want to deny it because i have low self esteem because of what that gurl said  and i think there is no way in heck she would ever but she really does  she always texts me back very fast  even if i dont reply within a day and i just feel so awful  can anyone please help me   im so interested but i dont know how to show it  its killing me,3.0
26440,my birthday is tomorrow and i have no friends to spend it with on my birthday i always end up crying because im alone and have no friends to spend it with i guess this year will be no different sometimes i just wonder whats wrong with me why dont others want to spend time with me am i ugly is my body shaped weird am i untalented boringor am i just plain not good enough i just wish i knew so that i could fix it  ,3.0
26441,didnt study for any of my finals today not that worried about it chem store ampspanish ah wish me luck ,0.0
26442,leilanit fine im a wuss i said it  its a scrap just bought it,0.0
26443,almost got hit by a car i was just cycling back home from school light turned green and a car racing through red almost hit me he was just  inch away from hitting me i looked at the car and inside saw an old couple completely shocked the old man driving jumped back and looked like he was shaking and i just looked at them with zero emotion i didnt feel anything not scared and i didnt react i just proceeded cycling again i honestly dont know how i should think about this so i just wrote it down,3.0
26444,goodnatts sleeping with hiim our last night together till july   ,2.0
26445,heey  twitter   im with my lil cousin  we are having so much fun love her ,0.0
26446,jonasbrothers teenies are gonna choke on their own saliva and die when they see the send it on candids mileycyrus niley ftw ,0.0
26447,please dont be mad at me ,2.0
26448,i dont update this much do i lol  i think its coz i have such a booooooooring life  lmao,2.0
26449,fck youfck you very much   ♫ ,0.0
26450,may  fri  work was boring today but the lakers game was uplifting   yup its a good way to start the weekend  saturday is here yup,0.0
26451,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26452,buying the legendary map pack on halo  has been worth it just for social big team on avalanche heavy ,0.0
26453,meeting went great but no power left to hit the gym going for some beers with the dudsons instead ,0.0
26454,is lonely ,2.0
26455,what almost pushed me to do it  well i had contemplated suicide many times during high school but never did it as i got out of high school i no longer had those thoughts i thought i would never have them again or feel as bad as i once did well at age  i was having a really hard time accepting my mother moving on after divorce i was once again in a deep dark hole that i did not want to be in ever again since my parents divorce my mother and i had repaired our relationship to the point where i thought i could talk to her about how i was feeling and how i had felt in the past well i was wrong as soon as i opened up to her about my past feelings and my current ones my mother mocked laughed at me about having suicidal thoughts and depression at that point it felt like i got hit in the gut that night i got my collection of prescription drugs and was about to take them all one of my best friends at the time called me saying he was outside my house to hangout it was the only reason i didnt swallow all those pills my mother has never apologized,3.0
26456,carlogomez affiliate marketing online advertising and all components you should learn about it it can be life changing ,0.0
26457,jimmysaunders youre welcome mdear  have you had a good week,0.0
26458,fabuluxe but we dont ,2.0
26459,combating feelings of depression and loneliness check out this video ,2.0
26460, i really envy you  have a nice flight,0.0
26461,early to bed early to wise makes chas feel super good ,0.0
26462,do you ever have days where you remember when you werent depressed and days like today you would be so happy with life and full of optimism why i know i would normally be happy today it checks off all the boxes but im just not im anxious i dont want it to be the beginning of the week i want to curl up in bed with my husband and daughter and never leave,3.0
26463,csiprintchick hey now not all of his most epically premium girlz ,2.0
26464,rt emilybaskinn i absolutely hate seeing my friends sad,1.0
26465,spongebob and patrick the two new pets   httptweetsg,0.0
26466,already made a friend  but forgot her name,0.0
26467,almost off of workthen headed to teriyaki madness ltyummy ,0.0
26468,dougiemcfly dont dry for me haha brazil cried for you  we miss ya  itd be awesome if you reply mebut its not gonna happen ,2.0
26469,rt farahbrook anxiety is like living in a horror movie but you never get the relief of getting killed at the end,1.0
26470,is fed up with the rain ,2.0
26471,stopped taking meds after one year of medication hello everyone ive been taking antidepressants and mood stabilisers and going to a professional for about a year now but i just couldnt handle how shitty people were treating me once they knew i was taking them stuff likedont be so overacting its just all in your headcant believe youre wasting your parents money on your dramathats just all in your head start praying or the lord wont forgive you for having such bad thoughts why are you so sad dont you know there are people starving and who dont have nothing be grateful for what you haveand the worstboohoo im so depressed everyone notice me and pity me in a mocking tone towards me i was depressed once for a week but i just decided to be grateful and happy you should stop its all in your headso i stopped taking them i couldnt take all the shit i was getting especially when most of these lines came from my family and close friends but now every little thing annoys me im overthinking a lot i cant focus when i read or when i study since the thoughts in my head just feels like its so loud im constantly laying in bed too tired to get up often spending all day in bed or at home ive been thinking about killing myself atleast once or twice every day basically who i was pretherapy i just dont know what to do anymore my parents are so happy that i stopped taking meds especially my dad since he thinks that taking them are like using drugs like heroin or cocaine but inside its really killing me i dont want to start taking meds again cause i cant stand to see the look of disappointment in my parents faces ps i live in a thirdworld highly devout catholic country if you know where im from im sure you understandthank you in advance for helping,3.0
26472, on the actual troy campus its so beautiful and its a small kinda town itself troy alabamaso yeah its awesome ,0.0
26473,woo time to watch the first ep of true blood season  i am of course currently in the us of a ,0.0
26474,woke up to evil talking flowers now i cant sleep any more ,2.0
26475,jury dutyblahhhhhh ughhso mad its too early ,2.0
26476,i love graduating but i wish i was still in college ,2.0
26477,nothing feels like its worth it anymore i worked really hard to get into a prestigious program but now i barely have any friends in that program because someone talked shit about me and people think im stupid i actually managed to keep a gym routine but i still ended up ugly and overweight i tried my best to socialize in uni but i guess i fucked up because people i consider as friends dont even wanna talk to me anymorei studied really hard but my gpa is still shiti became the top member in my volunteering team but it didnt change how im completely worthless to people ,3.0
26478,going to auckland this weekend with mummy ,0.0
26479,i hate living i hate going to sleep every fucking night just to wake up to the same bullshit everyday nothing changes it all the same shit i would love for it to all end but im too much of a coward to do it i have no friends in real life everyone looks at me werid and im sure they dont like me i hate this world i want something to happen something new i hate my life i fucking hate it,3.0
26480,unexpected depths hmm ,0.0
26481,diborno im not even sure yet lol i wanted to go to the luminous festival but am waiting for it to stop raining maybe a movie ,0.0
26482,my cowardice just makes me more depressed i fall into depressive episodes more like a bi polar way than a constant depression i have this recurring thought when im depressed i want to self harm to feel better i want to cut myself or make myself vomit or burn myself but im too much of a coward to go through with it  times then i start thinking the same way about killing myself like if you werent such a chicken shit you would just kill yourself and then you wouldnt have these problems or experience these feelings im wondering if anyone else feels the same way or has the same thoughts,3.0
26483,im losing my voice and cant make a vid for my new youtubee  sorry guys,2.0
26484,ladyjori whaaaat what about your house youve been working so hard on it ,2.0
26485, i am gonna miss sam bradleys concert in la only one day earlierdamn,2.0
26486,booking my flight back to atlanta ,0.0
26487,last day off before i return to my job tomorrow hoped that i would sleep in didnt workout so well ,2.0
26488,madefortttop i dont care these are a multitude of people attacking someone with mental health issues spare me httpstcoiyrlsxqjns,0.0
26489,had an amazing bachlorette weekend with the girls now spending the day with my wonderful mom ,0.0
26490,id consider myself the latter and thus an upgrade  smh  these lames,0.0
26491,has anyone else ever been numb to the point that they cannot feel any physical sensations i know for me when i get into a very numb state i cant feel anything at all usually its just the complete lack of emotions and thoughts however sometimes it gets to the point where i cant feel pain heat cold or anything at all its almost like my brain completely shuts down and all sense of feeling is lost am i the only one who has ever experienced this,3.0
26492,rt lifeaseva if i had a dollar for every time i open up to someone about my anxiety and they go oh yeah i totally get nervous s ,1.0
26493,cellobroad thank you kindly for your sympathy  lofnotc,0.0
26494,still at home ,2.0
26495,i still miss oopies ,2.0
26496,naww i love you too angie ,0.0
26497,considering sleeping on the couch its too hot in my room ,2.0
26498,sadaoturner i usually just trust its amazing in this economy how when you check your bill  theres a mistake ,2.0
26499,should i tell anyone im suicidal this is a bit of a rant i think i dont speak my mind much at all but its been feeling especially bad lately i think saying something out loud might help  ive been suffering from depression and anxiety for years now i can only really blame myself for how it kept getting worse i was never the type of person to speak my feelings i always just kept it all inside me until it went away but that can only go so far before those feelings and voices get harder to ignore this past year has been the worst yet i started skipping out on work because i couldnt muster  the energy my social anxieties got worse every thought i had led to something bad or scary happening so i avoided everything  i would get suicidal thoughts constantly i came very close to killing myself twice but i didnt and somehow that makes me feel worse i have a good group of friends there are only two people in my life that know about my depression and anxiety one is my boyfriend and another is a very close friend to me jay they gave me the push to get help in october jay especially they give me so much support that i often feel guilty that despite all their words i still feel like shit but i havent once mentioned my suicidal thoughts or my attempts to them and it eats at me when im trying to tell them how im trying to get better but really it isnt i dont fully know where this is going i just dont know if i should tell them or if it will make things worse for me and for them there are a million things racing through my head all the time and for some reason at this moment this is biting at me the most i dont know im so tired of all this ,3.0
26500,vikkiprattles my brain is not working today ,2.0
26501,maybe my support is hurting here i know the very nature of this sub is such that theres no feedback and thats fine  but i do wonder if my support is absolutely shit and i should just move alongjust minimusing i guess,3.0
26502,iamrdigital so i can be a jack of all trends all you  im really interested ,0.0
26503,blogger has been unblocked at work  at last job satisfaction just went up a couple of notches ,0.0
26504,where has the sun gone ,2.0
26505,cleanin my room ,2.0
26506,firefox now supports embedded color profiles in images  unfortunately it is disabled by default in the current release ,2.0
26507,remelyn foreal i pray that jj no be sick anymore cuz im suppose to take him to disneyland ,2.0
26508,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
26509,gonna go to the pub anyone wanna follow ,0.0
26510, dwaynecobb realdonaldtrump his mental health every dime,1.0
26511,piscesinpurple everyone should  ,0.0
26512,ds or writing hmmm bitta both sure ,0.0
26513,deelah had a good watch of terminator with a friend  then had to move stuff around gtgtquot,0.0
26514,this is d most touching video ive ever seen in youtube about christian d lion   it moved me ,0.0
26515,i guess this is my story struggling with depression throw away account this probably will get written off as someone just saying their depressed because they are sad and u see why you may think that the truth is i have no real reason to be depressed my parents are together i have a house dogs family food and anything i might need but ive had sucidal thoughts since i was  im  started because i began to struggle with school for the first time i used to be an all as student but i started to fail classes i began to think that i would grow up to be nothing and the truth is i still believe that then when entered highschool it got worse i started to think and plan about killing myself more and more and now its pretty much every day ive talked to people but nothing has really helped i use humor to avoid serious conversations with my friends and people at school i cant really talk to people any other way no one really takes me seriously teachers treat me like a child and friends treat me like the comediac relief to their life story my dad will say i have no reason to kill myself and my mom will try to use religion to help but i constantly feel alone and really want to just die it hurts me even more that i am too afraid to kill myself i tell myself that i am too much of a coward to die for the past few months i cant sleep i dont really enjoy doing anything and i am constantly in a state of not caring about anything i use video games and movies to keep myself from constantly thinking about killing myself but nothing helps peremently every little thing i do wrong i tear myself apart over it i am not really good at anything besides disappointing people i want to get a job but am to afraid to apply anywhere according to my parents i have no self image and do nothing to take care of myself and that just makes me feel awful ive always wanted to get a girlfriend or a friend o can fully trust but i cant get myself to go find one i try to be a good student and a good son bit these days i am nothing but a failure ive always wanted to find something i can do with my life something i can make a career out of but im not really good at anything i have multiple plans for killing myself but i really dont want anyone to be unlucky enough to find my body thats probably one of the main reasons that i havent already killed myself i spend free time many days day dreaming about elaborate plans to kill myself without anyone finding my body  i guess im making this because im sick of keeping it shut up but honestly i dont think anything or anyone can help me,3.0
26516,sad cause my new bike is broken      can someone in toronto please take me to bike pirates i dont want to go alone for the  time,2.0
26517,of course i am twittering while it is the middle of the night on the east coast  a lot of my norm group is sleeping ,0.0
26518,did log into the computer from work tonite wasnt feeling it sorry guys  talk with you tomorrow though,0.0
26519,how do i know when antidepressants are working ive suffered depression for over a decade its situational so i dont feel therapy or medication could help as much as support to change my situation would  but that doesnt existtherapy hasnt helped so far and ill not be able to access therapy again for around a year and so im trying antidepressants again i have tried antidepressants in the past but i struggle to take medication and had sideeffects so ive never been on them long enough to tell if they helped my depression presents like running on autopilot i dont feel enthused about anything and struggle to motive myself so i stay stagnant i do get low moods and deal with regular suicidal ideation but its not constant and can go in phaseswaves at the moment ive largely been avoiding low moods but i cant tell if its potentially down to antidepressants or just a normal stable phase plus on top of that i struggle with alexithymia i dont always know im feeling lowi know its hard to grasp but often i dont realize im struggling until it manifests physically and even then i cant easily differentiate between emotions like sadness anxiety stress etc so that may make it harder for me to tell ifwhen the antidepressants are working for me how do i know if antidepressants are helping me also as time goes on how do i figure out dosage,3.0
26520,kellyolexa now thats a lack of imagination or worse  maybe theyre sent by myspace to sabotage twitter ,0.0
26521,boo about to get sucked in  in nashvilledavidson balance tn ,2.0
26522,the excitement of getting off work early is severly impacted if u carpool and still have to wait for your ride to be off ,2.0
26523,shelbyjay hahahaha yes shelby u wish ,0.0
26524,really sorry to hear that the air france passengers didnt survive the crash ,2.0
26525,im sad about missing out on the opportunity to be in valencias new video ,2.0
26526,just finished watching hes just not that into you  loved it,0.0
26527,carpathiab aw crap i didnt notice your tweet until just now  ,2.0
26528,fridge is empty  diggin records amp food today ,2.0
26529,day one of camp is over looking forward to our beach time tomorrow ,0.0
26530,i cant find it in me to care i have completely stopped caring about myself and others its hard for me to connect with anyone my health is declining and im fully uninterested in stopping it my dad is the only person i give a shit about and everybody else just annoys me some days its hard to tell if im sane or not,3.0
26531,mmeeggsszz no didnt meet them  but was basically like on top of them and touched joes hand ,2.0
26532,nettagyrl i found it via meilinmiranda writechat i mean its in my time zone on sun so that makes it easier ,0.0
26533, okay im reading now i could still do the  hp chaptershour ,0.0
26534,working and then relaxing becuase i have no plans ,0.0
26535,keeda nahi  usually prefer strong tea,2.0
26536,i wish i wasnt lonely sometimes i just feel like im gonna be lonely for the rest of my life i cant control this its been too late i tried asking this girl out and she rejected me i get really mad at my family sometimes and i feel like i should just run away from home the only place ill ever feel happy is the internet i try to socialize a lot in real life but theres always someone who makes me feel isolated im usually afraid of speaking to adults about these issues i want to live a happy life not live in this hell of a world we call earth ive tried to suicide before but i end up doing something wrong i was born with a condition called hydrocephalus and im scared something might happen with my shunt device used to treat my condition might malfunction at a time where i cant get medical help i find ways to cope with this but my fear just grows and grows and my desire to suicide comes along with ive been quite the smart person but everyone around me just makes fun of me i cant live like this at all i want to meet people who can relate to me love me appreciate me the internet is the only place i can seem to do that  i want to live in an environment im less struggling with this is my story,3.0
26537,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
26538,i had the worst dream a person can possibly have ,2.0
26539,operation  june s am really nervousscared about it ,2.0
26540,unclefuzz the line starts in eastern iowa   chaching,0.0
26541,ready for bed missing my baby ,2.0
26542,rt bybuku lord please help me trust you even when it doesnt make sense allow me to believe in you more than i believe in my plans el,0.0
26543,nicolakerr you jammy thing  i want to go see derren hate being poor x,2.0
26544,new indie movie coming out about  quotordinaryquot women learning burlesque called quota wink and a smilequot not playing anywhere near dc ,2.0
26545,today started off interesting wasnt even driving and my car has been scratched ,2.0
26546,dawn is getting married today  let there be cake  ,0.0
26547,ambertales awww my heart bleeds for you  cheer up love youll be fine try to do somthing that relaxes you and im fine thanks,2.0
26548,i literally could care less about anything today i just want to be happy but my depression and my pain is preventing that,1.0
26549,sarahaccident my plan is flawed ,2.0
26550,crap these topics suck ,2.0
26551,rt  thatsad moment when you find an old conversation between someone you dont talkto anymore,2.0
26552,yesterday i wished for a days rest and my internet went dead prayer answered  today i write  short articles,0.0
26553,someone threw away my perfect bread bananas so experimenting with a peach kiwi ginger chocolate bread instead ,0.0
26554,headache   in chicago il httplooptusievsaqt,2.0
26555,morning twit fam i wish i was hitting  today ,2.0
26556,erina hey erin    thanks for the bday wish  sorry i didnt see it until this monring  but im feelin the luv now still good,0.0
26557,having a really hard time right now after being on neutral this whole week on antidepressants and going to therapy i broke down today im feeling overwhelmed and had to lock myself in the bathroom to take a shower while there it just got worse and worse started crying sobbing laughing while sobbing and contemplating suicide i dont want to die i have a kid i cannot leave her so i got a pack of razor blades that i had been hiding under the sink and i cut my thighs its been  years since the last time i cut and back then it was after a suicide attempt i have no one to talk to right now i feel like im drowning i have so many chores to do but i cant move from where im sitting at im trying my hardest to keep it together for my child i dont know what to do,3.0
26558,i dont have an escape i have no idea if this is where i should post this but i need to write it so here you go months ago my first real relationship ended this girl lied manipulated and cheated on me  times since then ive gotten a full time job made really good friends but no matter what shes always in the back of my headwhen i sleep shes in my dreams when im awake what she did and what she said are in my thoughts all day if im not distracted enoughto be honest yes ive thought about ending it because of the grasp my brain still has in her even though i got closure i know i dont love her anymore and the main emotion i feel towards her is hatredsmoking pot helps but really just pushes it away for a few hourstherapy helps but i hate talking about myself and i detest talking about her and what she did for melast night i left my brothers concert early because of my thoughts and the fact i didnt wanna cry in front of my friends i cried and yelled the whole way home and when i got home i prayed which is rare and even though it was the only thing i wanted to do i didnt cut myselfagain i have no idea if this going nowhere type post is allowed here but thank you if you read it,3.0
26559,when someone says dont be anxious and your anxiety is cured ,2.0
26560,rt lockscreenbabyx 😣 sad simpsons 😣» fav se gostou desse estilo de lock» rt se salvou  por favor ajuda muito o projetomel https,0.0
26561,going to asianos with jake a little later ,0.0
26562,hdmclachlan just been reading your album reviews top stuff mate have you seen heima you definitely should review that its sublime ,0.0
26563,alicegwatson you mean snotnot drool lol  ill have to think about the color ,0.0
26564,iscreamlouder nope i bought them in a fopp shop yesterday in glasgow  i rumbled thru boxes of old tshirts it was fun,0.0
26565,woooo passed everything  bs and one  gpa is    majorly cheered up now,0.0
26566,feeling misunderstood ,2.0
26567,i want to play sims  ,2.0
26568,i am not me anymore i am not who i used to be i cant remember the last time i was normal it is very hard for me to think that once i was actually ok to wake up and not think about death all day all i seem to be now is a let down i cant wake up  i cant sleep properly im unhealthy i take drugs so i dont kill myself and i fucked up my body to feel good i feel so bad that i burden the people around me sorry for the spew of an emotional break down i just needed to let this out 💙,3.0
26569,nicolerichie oh my yes i miss ,2.0
26570,is phone fucking with tyson ,0.0
26571,just at college bored apart from the great company of course ,0.0
26572,i cant take it ive been depressed for the last yearat first it was mild but now its hit me hardi have suicidal thoughts everyday its gotten so bad i can barely get out of bed let alone do anythingfor example i sit at school and dont do anything because im to depressed and now my parents are getting annoyed and shouting at me everyday because all i do is sit in my room and im letting my grades go to crap because i just dont care ive got exams next year which could shape my future but i dont give two fucks about themi dont care about anything anymoremy parents dont understand what im going through and dont even know as i cant really talk about my feelings as my family are very strict and old fashioned so no one really talks about anythingbut i cant take it anymorei have to let it off my chestreally i wish i could just leave forever whether running away or dying because death cant be much worse than what im going through in my mind i stay up all nightsometimes going  days without sleepi dont have friends or anyone that cares im literally rotting and waiting for death to graciously bless upon memy life was over before it even began,3.0
26573,cant make eye contact and smile anymore i used to do this with ease but to look at someone in the eye and fake a smile takes so much energy now i used to have a problem just starting or continuing conversations with people but now its gotten worse i dont have therapy for another three weeks since the only therapist that can help me and accept my health insurance is on maternity leave i hope i manage for that long ,3.0
26574,so what if u have moved near me im stronger then i was a year ago thanks to really good friends great rock music songs my course and jon ,0.0
26575,rt sosadtoday its my depression and ill do what i want with it,1.0
26576,heromancer awh that is so sweet of you to do ,0.0
26577,rt annascrying were on big sad tn boys,2.0
26578,tuckercarlson hillary clinton needs mental health care i hope that she signs up for obama carei think that she needs a few drugsrichie,0.0
26579,had to remind him  times yesterday driving me nuts lol off to school now ,0.0
26580,hiimrichard your welcome ricky ,0.0
26581,hi new here starting to twitter  yeah a new addict for me,0.0
26582,gotta be at work for  ,2.0
26583,lying in bed listening to leaked big whiskey ball tomorrow  good night ,0.0
26584,sunsetboba ahh but you still get to go  have fun,0.0
26585,waking up ,0.0
26586,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
26587,well my night looks to be the definition of relaxing dad passed out an hour amp a half ago so no ones coming over tonight ,0.0
26588,every time i tweet at a high frequency i get about  strippers immediately following me ,2.0
26589,brandonmuth thrillera little scifi so far thats what im getting ,0.0
26590,open wounds that wont let me live the abuse repeats and i feel so low  i cant ever get my fucking head up  every time i try and try and then life repeats and this feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming me i have children i fight for each day but the pain and isolation inside me and  trying to find a way out  there seems no way  i am so sad and the world looks so dark  people not helping or loving or caring and such anger  my family does not come to help and i lay here after yet another abusive relationship all bruised with no one i cant do it anymore and the world judges and isolates me more,3.0
26591,crap left my badge at home i think ,2.0
26592,upcheck feed dogcheck showercheck foodcheck walkcheck workumm not so much ,0.0
26593,poppygallico oh thats terrible  im sorry  ,2.0
26594,the internet destroyed my selfesteem ive been suffering from internet addiction for ten years now while battling depression i broke the habit around  but since i went back on it in  my selfconfidence got torn to shreds ive seen so much abusive comments that i had to go to a psychotherapistthank you internet not only did you give me trauma im thinking about suing a couple sites such as reddit and youtube for emotional distress thanks for nothing,3.0
26595,q of the day astrology something to it or total bs hit me back in the  mailim a waitin ,0.0
26596,i be sad af going into work knowing im gonna be here for  hours ,2.0
26597,wow long day at the beach but it was fun ,0.0
26598,my life is an empty void i barely get along with my mother my sisters just tolerate me and my friends go out of their way to not hang out with me im on an emotional management pill and an antidepressant but i still feel like shit i feel like i have no purpose or meaning in life im not going through the motions its emptier than that im just drifting like a tumbleweed i dont do anything anymore i just lay around and sink further into apathy i am perpetually alone and lonely on top of all that im a closeted transgender woman and my mom is mormon being trans causes me intense mental anguish i feel emptyuncaringdead inside and anxiouspainedmiserable simultaneously really the only thing keeping me alive is my fear of death,3.0
26599,sad thing is that his name is already trending  please censor it,0.0
26600,garnettlee awesome podcast thankyou for the really great coverage during  keep it up ,0.0
26601,closing by myself bummer ,2.0
26602,i really wish i was  better so i could be  awesome at work  ,2.0
26603,gillbh oh definitely  that last scene still kills me ,2.0
26604,the bible denies a tithe is ten percent of income its financial suicide to pay money  httpstcohcwjyzzvph,2.0
26605,hilariolounge me segue no jhennyberger ,0.0
26606,calling it a weekendcrazy week ahead ,0.0
26607, yeahyummy til you eat too much of it me thinks im off kettlecorn for a bit now ,0.0
26608,i dont know what im doing anymore i dont know what direction im heading in anymore i feel constantly down under the weather and overall lazy  i feel as though this world would be better off without me if i could get the chance to erase my existence from this world without causing my loved ones any pain then i would do it in a heart beati dont know what im depressed about though i have a loving family boyfriend friends and pets but  still i look down on myself  im currently attending university for dance ive danced since i was  years old and loved it but now its very hard for me to get myself out of bed every morning to get to school i think that its starting to show in my work too my professors tell me that i lack artistic expression and presence basically that im just a vessel with nothing inside how has it come to this everyones time is being wasted on me and i have nothing to show for it,3.0
26609,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
26610,iamtreybooker oh still thats heka good ,0.0
26611,annettestatus happy birthday have a great day ,0.0
26612,photokunstler yes that is his name now  love it,0.0
26613, me sorreh ,2.0
26614,why cant i wake up   ,2.0
26615,what an awesome weekend sun tan shakespeare land and diversity winning bgt ,0.0
26616,im so bloody done im a  with absolutely  self esteem i cant work at the moment because my panic attacks were making me collapse at work im separating from my husband while im depending on him which makes me feel like a mooch and i have absolutely no energy i have a little boy whom i love so much and i keep trying for him no family or friends around me and half the time i just want to stay in bed crying the thought of going outside is enough to send me into panic attacks most days i just cant see my situation getting better i fell back into self harm a couple of times over the past few weeks  ,3.0
26617,tomfelton good morning i wish jade for the todays run all the best and a lot of success glad whitsuntide here are whitsun holidays ,0.0
26618,on sunday ,0.0
26619,seriously im a big person about protecting yourself in the sun and i wear a sun block everyday and now im a lobster ,2.0
26620,kissability yay  puddles are fun too,0.0
26621,my feelings are hurt     way to go shawn,2.0
26622,paolalucy  ,1.0
26623,claireboyles thats where my ancestors are all from  but i could never get the accent right ,0.0
26624,always feel this way miss my home so much  ,2.0
26625,justbeau highlight of my night boo  see you tomorrow night ,0.0
26626,click has been added to my favourite films along with forrest gump being john malkovich and the boy in the striped pyjamas ,0.0
26627, well mj didnt make them but he had them in his name ,0.0
26628,sheasylvia when in doubt always blame the accoustics ,0.0
26629,areonlee then you should check out httptwittersuckscom and connect with other tweeple who hate twitter ,0.0
26630,josephlaking omfg cant believe this is reality sometimes they might win stoke racism follows recession every time apparently ,2.0
26631,rt  this is going to be a thread on dating someone with depression keep in mind that depression varies a bit in each pers,2.0
26632,so im pretty much on cloud nine these days ,0.0
26633,flight is delayed  had a good cry and now im going to find some ice cream im unspeakably ready to be home unspeakably,2.0
26634,shekungfu it wasnt mine  dont give them to me ,2.0
26635,i fancy atl mmmm ,0.0
26636,rt prettyinthin if youre so sadabout being fatwhy are you stilleating thatto lose weightyou must changeand stick withinyour ca,2.0
26637,dits i dont play  any more but still watch those vids i need a pc the  version was unloved ,2.0
26638,adamjforster have a good break ,0.0
26639,officialtl great movie i liked it ,0.0
26640,jeremylenzo aww now im all sorts of depressed i was making lunch for my dad ,2.0
26641,why will sleep not come ,2.0
26642, haha sorry and im very jealous its not hereits still rainy and wet ,2.0
26643,i is back i have coffee and am feeling a wee bit more composed if slightly groggy ,2.0
26644,ok im back no mail  hope its just cuz the mail man hasnt been by yet,2.0
26645,have loads of appropriate textures already  and love creating photo montage  this week in between web work  overdue web work ,2.0
26646,rt rickygervais for every tweetretweet using bellletstalk bell will donate ¢ to canadian mental health initiatives,0.0
26647,rain rain go away  cloudy and rainy in ga ,2.0
26648,rt muthuimkenya it is a sad day in kenya  whistleblowers hit hard after cnyakundih twitter account is suspended on unclear grounds,2.0
26649,argh firefox crash now im gonna have to buff all over again bummer ,2.0
26650, hour boot camp on monday yuss im scared out of my wits im not gonna lie   help,2.0
26651,no joke i am terrified of being  bc my parents want me to get a job since i dropped out of college over mental health and man im a mess,0.0
26652,dazzlespr thanks  i hope so too how are you feeling are you healed yet,0.0
26653,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
26654,uploaded my resume ,0.0
26655,a house fulla people and i cant get one person  play cards with me this makes me too sad ,2.0
26656,ddlovato please reply  youll make my whole year if you just say hey haha ,2.0
26657,having a discussion about which decade provided us with the best music i say the  but everyone else seems to be disagreeing with me ,2.0
26658,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
26659, i looked we dont have it ,2.0
26660,wants to just procrastinate more  but cant ,2.0
26661,stewartwade woo hoo too bad i cant watch it live ,2.0
26662,i need to get help i need to go to a crisis centre again but im terrified of telling my aunt my family doesnt understand depression and suicidal thoughts as what they are people have it worse cant you just be positive for once im depressed and still get up and do shit   well congratulations but at this current moment it is taking all the energy i can muster up in this body that has not been able to move off this couch and slit my wrists with my hidden razor so no i cant just get dressed and go for a walk no i dont give a fuck that i havent showered in over a week and im a disgusting fucking fucking mess but hey you know me its just laziness right  ,3.0
26663,melidm i tried that n nothing  let me try again,2.0
26664,finishing up little jurassic people trailer almost no time to check out  ,2.0
26665,xoxohelenhilton just listening to some tunes  you,0.0
26666,rt jianghomeshi greetings track  is now playing what is smartphone addiction and fomo doing to our mental health ,2.0
26667,theorangemonkey wives that play video games are hard to come by  cherish her ,0.0
26668,suffering from depression while being a parent can anyone relate any tips on how to cope,3.0
26669,listening to the hatsune miku supercell album on the way to umeda ,0.0
26670,got the news i was  cancer free again last week but i feel more emptier and lonelier than ever before im not sure whats wrong with me i know i have a great support system and i should be happy that im far away from the crutches of painful chemo and surgeries but i just cant fill the void inside i feel incredibly lonely and miserable i barely can rack about  hours of sleep a night and at school i feel like an idiot because i can barely focus on anything anyways maybe beating cancer isnt really something to be proud of im no fucking warrior im terrified about the whole thing the people i care about think im brave but in all honesty i brush it off because i would rather take it again and again just so they wouldnt imjust trying my best to take it day by day but its getting harder and harder to deal with everything,3.0
26671,i dont think that whats wrong with me is fixable because it isnt the fact that im depressed per se its the fact that aside from higher mathematics that would only serve me if i became a nasa engineer not happening or a math professor also not happening i am really not good at anything i had  of a novel completed and now im giving up because its a waste of time anyway i dont enjoy writing so much as i feel compelled to because otherwise my head will explode it takes a much fucking longer time to get ideas into a google document than it does for my brain to generate them and even if i did finish this novel nobody would publish it im not rich enough for a vanity publisher its pointless and thinking about it distracts me from my actual jobim not even particularly good at my actual job an editor at a referencebook company sure i can catch style and syntax errors but a highschooler with a list of instructions could do that if its a dictionarytype book i can look at the techrelated definitions so that i dont feel like my compsci degree went entirely to waste but ill only be able to tell you what you could have found out by going to wikipedia im not even good with girls hi lesbian here and i live in western massachusetts let that sink in  minutes from northampton lesbian capital of the us and i dont have a girlfriendi honestly think i was born wrong every therapist ive ever had has suggested that i get tested for autism spectrum disorder but i havent yet because im afraid of what the results will be and yeah i know people with asd arent born wrong and most contribute positively to the world in their own way but i cant shake the idea that i personally would be worth less with an asd diagnosis even though if i do have asd i have asd whether a doctor officially states that or not good job goodgirlgonesad such logic much sound wowmy biggest achievements in the last week have been as follows i attended my cousins husbands birthday party and managed to not be a total downer while there helps that their cats are cute and they have an ancient pit bull who likes to cuddle im cutting down to only smoking weed on weekends as opposed to every night and so far ive succeeded ive tightened my budget a lot in the past couple months and today i was finally able to put enough in my savings for a months worth of expenses thats it big week huhanyway not sure what the point of posting this was but i do feel better writing it out ,3.0
26672,oh yes i have ,2.0
26673,in the bathroom crying i go into the bathroom at work and cry almost everyday taking a break and going for a walk doesnt help as everyone says too many people will just make me more upset and id rather cry in the bathroom than outside,3.0
26674,real talk express live is giving meanxiety because ive never lined up for a show before so i dont even know how that works and im,0.0
26675,tgif but it is the last friday of middle school ,2.0
26676,watching dogtown im going to cry ,2.0
26677,having delivered pizza at home not exactly the great food but it goes well with coke and a dvd ,0.0
26678,soakemi  really,2.0
26679,fidget spinners are just annoying toysheres a list of useful fidgets adhd autism anxiety ,1.0
26680,joefrancisbs checked those things they seem finei can her that obnoxious noise when i open a new window but nada from the internet ,2.0
26681,us antitrust review of data domain bids i predict  winner will be one who didnt deny this would ever happen  httpbitlyidwdg,0.0
26682,depression,2.0
26683,alaurenharvey how cool we have the same last name ,0.0
26684,antonioj yeah i know maybe ill look into it when i have the time but atm im way too busy with other things ,2.0
26685,need some help to cope my headset broketo cope with being suicidaldepressed i play games watch shows listen to music now i cant i dont even have a tvmy headset broke the wire on it got tugged when it accidently got wrapped around my legi cant play games watch shows listen to music because i cant hear anything and i cant buy a new one because the money i have needs to get spent on food and lots of doctor billsanyone got some things i can do to take my mind of things any good books i can borrow from the library things to read onlinei didnt really know where to post i dont post here i just lurk i have suffered from extreme depression anxiety aspergers syndrom and suicidal thoughts since i was  so  years nowthe worst thing right now is i got inomnia i cant sleep i get mabey  hours if i am lucky so i play more games than usualsorry for bad grammar and stuff things are going to get worse im on the verge of crying and the silence is killing mejust needed to vent a bit i guess,3.0
26686,i knew something was wrong  i love u baby cub  im literally crying im so sad i wish i could hug u rn bab ,1.0
26687,i feel like its inhumane to stop suicide its just insane that im so heavily discouraged from stopping this pain that i feel  i have no one to tell this to so ill just throw it herei think its stupid to stop suicide youll be happier in the future if im gone then i wouldnt have any emotions at all close friends and damily will be devastated well im gone i wont feel regret once im already gone of course ill feel bad but if i do suicide then all thes emotions end i wont feel sad i wont be happy ill feel nothing ill be nothing once its doneim so sick of living my daily life i dont find all this worth it to go through all this pain just to have small bits of happiness its not like ill regret not doing something once im deaddont get me wrong my best friend had killed herself a few years back i was devastated it broke me for so long but it didnt take me long to realise that shes the lucky one not me it may be inhumane to say but she stopped the pain shes in that better place i only wish i could go there im so tired,3.0
26688,lliswerryguy you put bora da but its actually spelt bore da  i know what a stickler you are for your correct spellings ,0.0
26689,kuowbernard lyrja francis what a fun tweet ,0.0
26690,rt  this africans vs african americans debate kinda sad btw proves that even if white people didnt exist there will always b,0.0
26691, go for it they deserve the abuse ,0.0
26692,i burnt my tounge ,2.0
26693,krisallenmusic congratulations kris you deserve it  heartless was phenomenal,0.0
26694, here too and the suns barely up ,0.0
26695,streetpete and i just missed it  how can you say that about the tts i have all their  remixes  still kudos on the honesty sniff,2.0
26696,apologies for clogging up everyones twitter this morning little else to do ,0.0
26697, youve seen sicko by micheal moore right ,0.0
26698,are sundays the most boring day of the week  ,2.0
26699,samjmoody  i lost me daschund the other week   proper lost him but hed ran back home himself n was standin there waitin for me gah,2.0
26700,totally random thing my friend said that kicked me right in the gut basically i have these on and off feelings of i guess depression but i dont want to diagnose myself anyway this sounds stupid but what happened was i was telling my friend who recently moved to another state for college about this video game deal we used to play together all the time in high school and his only response was eh i might check it out i dont really do that anymore not sure why but this hit hard seeing as hes really one of my only friends and his simple statement kinda made me realize childhood was over hes moved on to this really high end college while i too am on college its not like my life has changed much at all i think it hit me hard because of the fact hed moved on from being that kid i knew while im still here doing the same old thing not really going out much or having many friends at all idk it sounds dumb but it really hit me hard and im still thinking about it,3.0
26701,rt mozingobaseball with so much talk about weighted baseballs ive highlighted average ucl stress of weighted baseballs and bullpen thro,1.0
26702, was closin luv  going to see it  morning at  with emma n purv claire sed she might if she gets up u wanna join,2.0
26703,brantanamo hi ant you are the dannys friend i always you in danny pictures haha  how are you annnnnt  xx,0.0
26704,i saw i had  followers and im like woah but then i saw how many other people had ,2.0
26705,ladyjaii with anthony gallo hibernating somewhere ,2.0
26706,cheaters suck ,2.0
26707,dont havethe strength to do gcses re  tomorrow and then maths prayercircles pray for me ,0.0
26708,fionaaa lmao that sounds horrible  canal like the bit near clydebank shops bleeeh,2.0
26709,shaddih i havent tried it youll have to let me know if it does that yes i mean in case somebody doesnt actully pay the billrent ,0.0
26710,oooooh only just worked out how to use twitpic this will give me endless amusement ,0.0
26711,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
26712,lindseymadora reeeeally ,0.0
26713,larry arms going into the studio to record a  looks like the chicago show free  rumors may be true ,2.0
26714, hi there did you get to sleep in my alarm cats were late this morning ,0.0
26715,debbiefletcher oh debbie do u like oxford im gonna spend my vacations there but i dont know much about it do u think its nice though ,0.0
26716,family abused me when i was young and then verbally and mentally abused me about it recently pretty disgusting and evil i can only wish for their suffering now especially those directly responsible ppl are sick gross and evil ,3.0
26717,   i see yu ,0.0
26718, yay  and   i still have no one to go with me to the show,2.0
26719,friendly reminder life is  a burn ward with no exit the universe exists solely by design of a malevolent and ominpresent force of pure hate to torture to death sentient beings the only way out is suicide this existence is hell and every atom is a tragedy screaming into a wretched void which never calls back in replyon a related note if i swing a chainsaw at my own neck fast enough you think it will decapitate me,3.0
26720,imma so stress right now 😭,1.0
26721,latermom whats a clean house  ,2.0
26722,going to write some songs ,0.0
26723,to quote kacey musgraveshappy and sad at the same time,2.0
26724,clarenasir hi clare thanks for the birthday tweet i am down in london another twice throughout june so i will strike lucky then maybe ,0.0
26725,mercedesashley damn the grind is inspirational and saddening at the same time  dont want you to stop cuz i like what u do much love,2.0
26726, buy cbd vapes oil pills lotion medicine hemp epilepsy anxiety adhd ,2.0
26727,wer going to see limp bizkit in neuchatel on thursday yes  ,0.0
26728,new to twitter loving it already ,0.0
26729,dantheshive we forgots to get together ,2.0
26730,time to watch true blood  ,0.0
26731,at lloyd center mall ,0.0
26732,rip sad the city lost one doing good 😞🙏🏾,1.0
26733,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
26734,katymaaae who cares about sleeves tiny shorts ,0.0
26735,raczilla hope sohopefully kobe show doesnt kick in the  quarter like last timeyikes ,2.0
26736,ah i fucked up took my mothers cigarette and now want more drugs i took my mother cigarette again for like the fifth time and the nicotine doesnt hit the same way also i have asthma and i do not want lung cancer so im not touching that stuff im hoping to move to alcohol seems better in general,3.0
26737,mikewestervelt awwwww i always love seeing you baby ,0.0
26738,fun fact i have actually hid in a garage can from a dog and dont have anxiety ,1.0
26739,hip parade was awesome last night got to study now though  x,2.0
26740,rt syndicomde zustellerinnen und briefträgerinnen in teilzeitarbeit leiden an unterbeschäftigung und planungsunsicherheit httpstcol,2.0
26741,damn my back hurts think ive done something serious ,2.0
26742,myweakness you know who you are ,0.0
26743,monday is the seniors last day of school im going to be so sad ,2.0
26744,just finished my saxonr eview for english oh yes im so gooooooood ,0.0
26745,wildpeeta i have yet to have a peeta swich better than the ones at las du fallafel in le marais paris when do we get to try yours ,0.0
26746,rt rottenindenmark the us healthcare debate never grapples with the cost of anxiety the majority of americans cant cover a  expen,2.0
26747,just forgot what i had to do today  ,2.0
26748,rt  sad nigga hours once again ,1.0
26749,dont wanna be here anymore anyone else just feel in despair i feel like i will never get better its been like this way for too long already i lost my happiness at the age of  and i feel so powerless to even continue on living anymore the saddest part is i have everything planned out already this is my eventual outcome and im in a state of indifference ive already lost,3.0
26750,zwagger hmmm how sweet and flattering  but why do you have to be drunk to admit it,0.0
26751,end of the rope im toward the end my work is over stressing me my girlfriend is asking for a break i dont have enough energy to fight anymore i know that if i cross the door put of her appartment its the last time and i know i wont make it to my place im too exhausted im done with everything if youre struggling too dont be like me and dont give up,3.0
26752,to fart or not to fart that truly is the question of the day ,0.0
26753,ubuntugeeks hahaha my nigga lmao i stand corrected ,0.0
26754,lilmissdainty yeah and i have unfinished business such as getting my bachelors degree sooo sad ,2.0
26755,nkotb wish i was join you ,2.0
26756,reallamarodom congrats for the win nice game ,0.0
26757,adejarme you got  follwers you should try it  ,0.0
26758,today i received an email from my teacher which made me cry because it touched me so much i really am going to miss going to mccs ,2.0
26759,i want to win  mmwanted,0.0
26760,princessaggy yeah thats very trueespecially tracy morgan but we shall see ,0.0
26761,excessive daydreaming i find myself daydreaming a lot wondering about how my life could be different in this lifeuniverse and sometimes in another entirely especially when im alone or in my bed and before i know it i just spent like  hours in my little bubble is anyone else like this,3.0
26762,need help dealing with a childs suicide i used to tutor a kid  years old he was incredibly quiet and unwilling to work on his academics i never really thought too much into ita few days ago his parents told me that they found him after he hanged himselfim not too sure what kinda help i want i just wish i knew exactly what was going on that made him do it i wish i could ask him what was wrong then his parents couldnt seem to tell me much it wasnt much of a broken household as his parents are very strong together so what him do it why did he have to die like this i want answers,3.0
26763, and thanks for your concern ,0.0
26764,musicallaura do it nowww   pleaaseee ill give you an extra special cyber kiss,2.0
26765,have to get ready for my  softball game yeah me ,2.0
26766,went to the dentist today totally as a last resort totally broke now too god damn the dental industry needs competition policies ,2.0
26767,apparently atlanta watershed mgmt is trying to ensure that noone can afford to use water in this city new  inc over next  yrs ,2.0
26768,i am bored my girl is at school ,2.0
26769,article about twitterhistory destruction is importantis all this tweeting not  oh dear ,2.0
26770,  just posted some new photos  please check them out ,0.0
26771,yay for jon and kate   boo for having to work at  ,2.0
26772,  cut my bangs a bit too short ,2.0
26773,i hate the good days im really starting to hate any good days that i may have i get one every month or so and its quite possibly worse than just being depressed it dosent matter how happy i am or how much i try i know it will be right back and worse than a normal day after a few hours i fall right back downi honestly dont know why im still alive my life has just been a series of fuck ups i should be a functioning adult by now and yet i can barely think straight im just running in circles i do the minimum to survive daydreaming is my only escape and even my depression is inhibiting that why why me why any of us i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy,3.0
26774,lady gaga is my idol  dnt wanna b lyk her but shes cool ,0.0
26775,how do i help i have a friend who is depressed they post suicidal stuff on social media and they think its anonymous but its not they texted me a week or so ago saying they wish they were dead and that they dont think theyll last long or something to that effecti dont know how to help i try to regularly check in i tried making plans with them to get them to help me with a task at my house not only to make them feel needed but i genuinely needed help and it didnt workone time i read a post and i was so worried i called the suicide hotline and nobody answered it kept saying to wait to be connected with someone in my area i was on hold for several minutes and couldnt get back to worki try to send textssnaps to them because i know if i get any response it means my friend is alive ive suggested they get help via counseling but their financial situation isnt great and sure there are free services but i think my friend is so stuck that getting out of the apartment is a challenge in itselfthe posts and especially one recent text is concerning enough that it might warrant having them committed but im not entirely sure i dont want to try and then fail if my friend successfully refuses care and end up making it worse im constantly worried ill get the news that my friend has ended their life i dont know what to do or say you see posts and fundraisers and  raising suicide awareness but what do i actually do such a frustrating position to be in and im terrified ,3.0
26776,rt lyndamfiller high anxiety exotic places mystery suspense iartg rrbc novellas kindle   httpstcoguxvj,2.0
26777,shwood  four eons is a long time brian ,0.0
26778,think i go playing keyboard and practicing the song for the  ,0.0
26779,im going to sleep mad disappointed and sad what a great convo,2.0
26780,been out in the sunshine think were gonna have a picnic ,0.0
26781,i dont want to sleep i dont want to sleep because then i get a break from the pain torment and uneasy feeling from my waking moments i want to feel sad i want to feel unwanted i want to be tired i deserve it ,3.0
26782,just booked an appointment finally just booked an appointment with my gp i know a lot of people dont get the help they want but i hope i will ive dealt with this my whole life and i dont think i know how to fix it anymore ive tried anything i eat well i go to the gym i tidy my bedroom thanks jordan peterson ive watched all the youtube videos and read all the articles i just end up back with the same empty feeling  i still spend hours in my bed when its sunny outside i still sit feel unmotivated i still feel empty and meaningless inside its hard because maybe  day in the week everything is okay and i feel happy so im always tempted to think that maybe its getting better and it never does they probally wont be able to help but i hope its a step in the right direction no one cares about people like me this might be something i need to deal with forever but i just need to know how i hope theyll care,3.0
26783,emilyclaree every monday you tell people what they should be listening to ,0.0
26784,dont make it part of bc because our mental health funding has been cut back and everythings so expensive just make a new province,1.0
26785,pappul aisa bol sakta hai  but now its bright and sunny ,2.0
26786,dinner is served  if u hungy stop by the crib,0.0
26787,i miss my cats ,2.0
26788,so freakin tired ,2.0
26789,tommcfly aaaah  i wanna know ,2.0
26790,alanalston last time gaming was in any way cool was when they named it after scottish rally drivers ,0.0
26791,is listening to eminems new album ,0.0
26792,cazwaz cant afford an iphone  xx,2.0
26793,aramadge i saw that comic earlier and laughed a lot ,0.0
26794, thanx for the  followfriday  ,0.0
26795,everything about my life is doomed for failure im too annoying im too fat and ugly no one will ever love me i will be alone forever as i have felt alone for a long time now i had one serious relationship in highschool and then afterwards ive been kicked around by some guys i guess im not worth anything serious i am very apparently not worth love none of my friends would be here if i wasnt situated with them in some way job or school because im too weird to exist and didnt get hammered out properly by whoever makes the rules on how to be likeable im almost out of school i live in a city where ill never be able to afford rent once school loans and savings run out even with roommates i will never be able to afford a house in my lifetime i will leave in debt i will leave too fucking stupid to get a proper paying job because my field mostly does community work and charity based organizations and i probably wont be able to feed myself without working multiple jobs i am useless and should just stop taking up oxygen every day i keep going trying to hope it gets better but i have no reason to i will never be successful in literally any facet of life,3.0
26796,still no sign of new tv or squeezebox wishing id paid the extra tenner for next day delivery now ,2.0
26797,gosh it is so quiet in tweetville today off to play chauffer again ,2.0
26798,ill end up killing myself but i wont necessarily commit suicide my entire life ive dealt with mental illness trauma child abuse gender dysphoria everything im unable to think of a time when ive been genuinely happy ive become practically emotionless nothing but a shell it all drives me to do stupid shit so if im being real im not going to make it past  ive accepted that theres been no recovery no improvement and no happiness in my life so whats the use of sticking aroundheres the  main possibilities i kill myself purposefully i do something stupid get arrested and sent to prison and kill myself there i accidentally overdose on something and end up killing myselfits only a matter of time before i find out which one of these its going to be,3.0
26799,now do one showing a global depression based on lack of economic growth ,2.0
26800,is ready for bed but rosies playing hide and seek and i cant find her ,2.0
26801,justdaydreams  the sliver around it is chipped smh and one of the lil silver pieces on the back from the bb symbol fell out ,2.0
26802,actuallyi think pingfm is working ,0.0
26803,twas bigger than the limit lol ,0.0
26804,hey hey  im bored id liek people to follow me xd,0.0
26805,noelople thereskatrina cwistiana stephhhsicat asb  ,2.0
26806,does anything matter  recent events regarding the last three years makes me think if i should just do what people want me to do and remain emotionless whenever i am happy i end up annoying everyone else and bad things follow and whenever im sad it just bums people out and nobody cares so i should just live so people wont whine about my death and just not be happy i should just exist with no meaning ,3.0
26807,i wanna register a star under my name just cause ,0.0
26808,shemah accident apa shem ,2.0
26809,any pills that can cause amnesia in one shot i really wanna forget about everythingi made too much mistakes its been treating me so badlyanyone prescribe some,3.0
26810,exnavypilot youre welcome ,0.0
26811,is envy barkadots is going to tagaytay and batangas without me ara nikki and lim  keep safe on the road guys,2.0
26812,how come tweetdeck wont minimize to the tray anymore ,2.0
26813,on a different note  forza azzurri  give me something to be happy about in football ,2.0
26814,why is itunes crashing so much  i think ll have to buy terminator salvation again  it crashed in the middle of download,2.0
26815,coming very soon the ultimate in craft brewing reviews and homebrewing highlights we cant wait to share it with you ,0.0
26816,when youre feeling low what do you do to cheer up i kinda need some suggestions right now,3.0
26817,anxiety levels rising,0.0
26818,i hate that im a stress crier happy crier and angry crier i cry for everything,2.0
26819,itslauraaa im great  jai mal partout but its ok xd yeaaaaaah chicagooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,0.0
26820,ouch my legs tingle i think ive got razor burn this displeases me ,2.0
26821,odd day watched a sea king hover over the mountain by our house to rescue someone who fell into the river not much happens around here ,0.0
26822,yznw what  yamashita tomohisa takuya kimura oguri shun  i only know toshiba  what brand is that ,2.0
26823,and hey its over now ,0.0
26824,recently listed painting  ,0.0
26825,antsrants thanks ,0.0
26826,is going to castle drogo for a walk with my father ,0.0
26827,rt sabrinalo jsftennis beckysterne pahstock   kayfkm qedigiv  thebigotbasher tayloche ,1.0
26828,can you follow me too     your classified ads service,2.0
26829,an amazing take now everyone send norain vibes to set please ,0.0
26830,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
26831,ok jumping in the car grabbing coffee and then heading back to make my way further through my email mountain replies are coming ,0.0
26832,rt fareisofficial how do i uninstall anxiety from my life,2.0
26833,woke up late today  no ones home ,2.0
26834,saidanddone curve without a doubt ,0.0
26835,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
26836,working this weekend ,2.0
26837,itstayce haha i was supposed to see them in concert but my plans changed last minute ,2.0
26838,great show tonight davejmatthews and slessard best ive seen i think and i love the new album live just sucks my car got towed ,2.0
26839,had such an amazing rest woke up sooooo refreshed until i got to workboooourns ,2.0
26840,joelmadden haha thats just too funny  the baby is ignoring his big sis  lol did you watch the other baby videos too  cute ,0.0
26841,thatpatti how many martinis to get there ha ,0.0
26842,i will forever be on team lauren why couldnt the new season of the hills follow lo or audrina instead of kristin  ,2.0
26843,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
26844,never wanna see  again really not in a good mood augh i hate this feeling ,2.0
26845,did i just walk into an orchestra practice and have a small anxiety attack and walk out yes i did,1.0
26846,anyone else relate to  a bit too much from  httpswwwquoracomamianalcoholicifionlydrinktwobeersaday gti say there are five different types of drinkers  gt  gtthere are the take it or leave it people these are the folks who dont even think about alcohol if they go to a friends house they might have a glass of wine that they dont finish or they have that six pack of beer in the back of the fridge that they have forgotten about maybe every once in a blue moon they think to themselves oh i havent had a bud light in a while that would be refreshing after tennis on a hot day and then they go weeks without thinking about beer again  gt  gtsecond type of person they drink very small amounts but regularly they actually appreciate alcohol for attributes outside of how it makes them feel maybe they are really into wine or craft beer they drink most nights but its only rarely more than one drink they like to talk about alcoholic beverages and learn about how they are made for them it is just another part of the dinner or social experience they are probably into food as well and in general just enjoy good things  gt  gtthird you have people who drink quite frequently but its just the norm all of their friends drink alot their family drank alot its always around and it is completely normalized beer is basically water and it flows regularly these people probably dont even think twice about being handed a beer when they walk in the door their drinking may be effecting their health in the long term but it isnt effecting their jobs or relationships negatively and in fact it seems to make the stress of work more tolerable and makes their relationships even more fun at the same time if this person travelled to a different place and was with different people without alcohol it might seem weird but at the end of the day they wouldnt need it or miss it that much  gt  gtfourth you have the people who know exactly how much they drink they only allow themselves one or two drinks a day and only after  they think about and look forward to that drink all day and if they dont get that drink they are stressed out and angry these people arent alcoholics they dont have a physical dependance to alcohol but mentally they need something if it wasnt a drink it would be a cigarette and if it wasnt a cigarette it would be a pill or a joint these people struggle terribly with stress and feel like they are on the cusp of loosing control their drinking doesnt really effect their lives negatively its their negative lives that effects their drinking their need for a drink may be the flag that they are struggling but the alcohol itself isnt creating a problem yet but gone unchecked it could they have an emotional dependance on alcohol and need it far more than the third group does even though they drink less  gt  gtthe fifth and last group are the classic idea of what it means to be an alcoholic they drink until they pass out and get physical withdrawal symptoms their lives and families are negatively effected and at this point they are doing great harm to their bodies with this group there is no question that they are in fact alcoholics  gt  gti feel like all alcoholics where the fourth group at one point but they never got to the heart of the stress instead they slowly lost their grip on how much and when until they where consumed,3.0
26847,coldplay oh haii coldplay your in my city but im not there  boo,2.0
26848,yay hot springs hanging out with nicole marina christy kim and sami ,0.0
26849,morning went fast the shower wont make hot water  i was so angry at it setting off for school in  so bye,2.0
26850,hey followers follow kizent cuz i said so ,0.0
26851,vetrinagirl bleh to dieting i couldnt diet if my life depended on it i love food too much i hope the coffee kills the choco craving ,0.0
26852, whyy its pretty whatevers  just like the sidekick u have now but faster internet,2.0
26853,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
26854,just gymmed it up blad sweet stuff ,0.0
26855,i let my best friend out and havent seen her since sugar is a  year old chihuahua ive had her since she was  and i was  yesterday i let her and our schnauzer our to pee i went into the bathroom came out let schnauzer back in and went and laid down all i do is sleep i slept for another  hourswhen husband got home i still didnt think anything of it sugar is always lying by my side but sometimes she sleeps on the bed i got her about an hour after i got woke up i thought to myself it was weird i hadnt seen her but didnt think any further she was probably asleep in the cagearound  when i was giving my other fur kids a snack i started calling for her she didnt come i started to panic i went outside  or  times trying to remember where she was last time i seen her husband got outside and looked everywhere we could no sign of hershes  pounds she wouldnt have made it through the night i couldnt believe she could shes always had me to protect her and keep her warmtoday the second i got up i put my shoes on and canvassed rhe neighborhood  houses only  people answered some probably werent home my anxiety was gone the entire time i was outsideall i can think about is her eager to go waiting on the porch for me to let her in neighbors around me seen her and no one thought to pick her up or come to knock when theyve never seen her out without me what happened last night did some animal drag her off did someone pick her up i want to hope that someone did that she didnt crawl under a house and die from the cold but putting her on craigslist calling the shelter posting all over facebook all i can remember are the worst things ive been toldits too cold out she wouldnt make itmy friends chi disappeared and was never seen againshe might have went off to diebecause what else could she do search till she found someone what if she didnt find anyone what if she laid theunder some cold porch waiting for me to find her and i never came i wasnt there when she needed meall ive ever known as the solid point of my life is her shes been with me through everything ive never wanted to die like this i want to sit outside and just freeze till i cant fell anything i just want her back,3.0
26856,i am going to take a fat depression nap,2.0
26857,bradiewebbstack but about you are they talking abouthahaha probably that your cool  ,0.0
26858,pameladetlor netflicks watching milk better go wife is jealous of my twitter habit ,0.0
26859,terryjamest tomorrow is good sucks you have to drive back  when is your exam now if youre in town tomorrow night want to have dinner,2.0
26860,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26861,this lazy person is having a lot of trouble right now huhu ,2.0
26862,how can i not have my happiness surrounded by a girl probably no one will read these random sentences but fuck i just got to get this off my chest i literally have no one else to talk to im just so fucking lonely and its the weekend so ill be shut in my room well anyways this girl and i met at a party a couple months ago im not really social but my friend forced me to go we found each other cute and we started talking afterwards shes like super smart and shit and has a great sense of humor well after we talked for a few weeks we went on a date to the movies that day was literally the happiest i have ever felt well the date went pretty great and i started to think we could start dating shes pretty great and im actually happy for once when im with her well i started to make hints at us starting to date and then she hit me with long paragraph how she wasnt ready to get into a relationship and other shit understandable well i spiraled back into depression and was just heartbroken anyways we have still been talking im just still grasping on to her i think because how happy she has made me but recently shes started to push herself away from me and shes been talking to another boy i want to text her in a jealous rage but i cant i cant get over her im such a loser in school too socially awkward and shy its like when i open myself up to people they back away anyways to get back on track i just am attached to her because she just made me feel like a normal human being i need to get over her but i just dont know how  i have to no hobbies other than sleeping and league my sleeping schedule is shit my life is just fucked right now i sometimes feel on top of the world like fuck yeah i can do anything  and then im literally unable to get out of bed othertimes i just had to vent,3.0
26863,gossip girl and donald trump give me so much anxiety,1.0
26864,ive started speaking up in class more and being more opinionated without the intense feeling of anxiety pulsing through my body,2.0
26865,at mars bar i think its  night there are some cool outfits here ,0.0
26866,emenozzi i love a good snuggling reading day but you could have played cash amp guns with us ,0.0
26867,ilovepancakes no problem it cracks me up  i watched it about  times yesterdayheehee,0.0
26868,fionakyle thanks im feeling sorry for myself ,2.0
26869,sglyon  guys  can you please cut down on the robin hood comments i really dont want to be spoiled thanks ,0.0
26870,this gives me anxiety,2.0
26871,i need a looong vacation after i graduate wheeeeeew who wanna pay for it ,0.0
26872,homework  at the moment it seems near impossible to avoid working on media theoryoh joy ,2.0
26873,i hate  before the new year all i could do was look backwards which sucked because i looked back at all the good times that were over months and months ago and how far id fallen but now its even worse because now i look forward instead of back and i see nothing no hope or aspirations or repair just the black emptiness that is my life now,3.0
26874,oowwright im going to the brithday of abe semas little brother ,0.0
26875,back home no fracture the crack i heard was cartilage tearing crutches are the devils work i miss my wheelchair ,2.0
26876,i  army wives home by myself tonight ,2.0
26877,is back in tennant after a whirlwind holiday theyre never long enough ,2.0
26878,can i actually do more harm than good by trying to help her  throwaway because privacy and shit also sorry for my perhaps lessthanideal english its not my first languageso a friend of mine is currently having a lot of depression issues and shes been depressed for a long time along with some ptsd she already has quite a few attempts behind her and im worried that there will be another one soon if i dont do anything we live in a quarantined country france and the isolation is really starting to take a toll on her on top of me not being able to help her physically because of it even if she would let me more on that laterive been trying to cheer her up these past few weeks and generally being here for her by telling her that she can talk to me if she ever wants to vent the problem is well she doesnt really like meshes had some a lot of problems with people that had the same political opinions as me and she did told me that i make her uncomfortable because of thatso at this point im not sure what to actually do ive always been told that being here for someone and messaging them once in a while is the best way to help someone struggling with depression but i feel like the best thing here is to not do anything at this point im kinda lost on what to do so any advice is welcome on thatim going to work soon but ill read your answers when ill be back have a good day folks,3.0
26879,lonely and depressed starting to put out some feelers for help how do you manage loneliness without being social any time i spend hanging out wether its a couple people or a group  i spend the next hour day week going over every single thing in my head did i say this right did they understand it as i meant it to be was i funny was i being snide and shitty or do they feel that way too how do they think of me i wish i couldve said this better etc etc whenever i feel this happening i try to make myself conscious of it and cut it out but i wish i didnt have to feel so unsure of myself i wish i was a naturally better person being a shy and quiet kid didnt translate well into adulthood for me ive tried a few times to write something coherenti just have a shit ton of thoughts tornadoing around and when i make an attempt to write them down or say out loud its like my brain suddenly doesnt compute and what comes out is something completely different that what i meant i am just so bored theres only so much talking to pets you can do before you start to wonder if youre actually losing it or justlonely as fuck but then i think about how awful i am at keeping in touch with people how its really my own fault for being such a recluse i dont really want to hang out with anyone i just miss getting alerts on my phone of someone texting or a link to a funny video or a lame meme  somethinganythingjust to know that someone thought of me for a sec or thought of me enough to hit me up i dunno ill probably cross post this to a couple different subs only cause id like to hear what people have to say  and if theres someone out there similar to me  how do you manage ,3.0
26880,brightondoll ,0.0
26881,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
26882,fear that the raid controller may be the dead on bae  rip ,2.0
26883,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26884,soxjetsfan keith urban of course ,0.0
26885,i love you to bits i just wish you loved me too  ,2.0
26886,kimkardashian my hair was almost to my butt i cut off over a foot up to my shoulders and i love it ,0.0
26887,got a different style of hair cut ive never done before honestly i look good i feel good,3.0
26888,rt softsebstans do people who dont have an anxiety disorder know how lucky they are like you can just go out and do stuff without get,1.0
26889,is emotional ,2.0
26890,ashleyltmsyf follow nicole on twitter and then tell her ur id and tell her to follow u back too dont luk nice to us fans this way ,2.0
26891,bbcworld while american kids work themselves into substance abuse  and mental health disorders ah capitalism,2.0
26892,jinesis i would love to hear them  dm me links,0.0
26893,ok lunch brake over  i feel sick  y did they bring back  old school roast beef monster munch  and in a big bag  aarrgghh,2.0
26894,no homo we smokin depression,2.0
26895,getting in bed without you sad  i do not think i will be sleeping soundly tonight,2.0
26896,cant find caleb at the hub  im outside in a corner,2.0
26897,zane im sad we had a cliffhanger on that sneak peek,2.0
26898,in my thoughts i guess this is a rant but for the past few years i just hate everything about myself  especially looks but it became more obvious in the last year where i just do not want to socialize or go out because it will involve me having to put make up or dress up which just makes me feel even worse it just goes through my mind that even with these you are still ugly so i just avoid it,3.0
26899,thinking of my best friendlove of my life possible soulmate and wishing i could be with him ,2.0
26900,where ever i go now im making an effort to hang out with my fellow illegals and fully experiance the life in the shadows ,0.0
26901,i added a video to a youtube playlist  painful lockjaw tmj amp chronic anxiety healed  john mellor healing,2.0
26902,misssarabee haha breakfast will fix that  w a large cwoffee,0.0
26903,is leavingggg  bye see ya in a few hours b,0.0
26904,i dont feel good  so much to do between now and thursday moms coming wednesday morning ,2.0
26905,its official no atlanta for me this weekend  instead im going to go babysit my  little sistersquot,2.0
26906,madamezenaida hahaha take the quiz too  and find out your vampire power haha,0.0
26907,cazashton asoscom has a great sale on at the moment ,0.0
26908,got up this am at  and went to kc  crown center for mom to run in hospital  hill run stopped by lawrence at applebees  on way home ,0.0
26909,really really really doesnt want to go to work ,2.0
26910,i would pay good money for smellfree mosquito repellent i am tired of smelling bad and getting bit ,2.0
26911, antianxiety pills on the rise  they are losing their minds,2.0
26912,aerosilly i called i just got out of bed  im kinda sick no one answered the house ,2.0
26913,sad music not sad enough there are very few songs that strike a chord with my for being sad enough anymore so many songs are entirely about breakups and sadness surrounding that but im not sad about that i dont know if this makes any sense  but it almost feels like there isnt much music relatable to how low and depressed i am over life,3.0
26914, howre you doing good  i can see your face now ,0.0
26915,lyssiloo my graphics card isnt good enough ,2.0
26916,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
26917,jessicacrouch  if u need help decorating the apartment im your girl    xciting about the wedding dress as well ,0.0
26918,mcdaydreamer awh that sucks alot ,2.0
26919,mikeprangley  yeah that was pretty funny to see some of those outtakes and i could tell that you were trying to keep it together ,0.0
26920, karlyross jeez whats going on over there just reading wsb amp now youre confirming the crazies are taking over our town ,2.0
26921,ardentfrost sorry we just like our fans to know that were on here is all ,0.0
26922,rt senabyta if i gotta battle crippling depression imma make it look sexy,1.0
26923,hey lost our internet should have it back in a few days ill keep tweeting from my phone for now  sadness,2.0
26924,limpin again  gto,2.0
26925,ran out of zoloft and now i barely want to live i havent had my zoloft in like  days and am already feeling the effects i literally slept for like  hours today in naps and im still exhausted all ive done today is switch between reddit youtube and some games i have on my phone everything just seems wrong and i dont know what to do,3.0
26926,i think i should change my wefollow descriptions im probably going to get a lot of adult friend finder spam and shit dont want that ,2.0
26927,angrybritain dont forget your plastic pants ,0.0
26928,needs an external hard drive  httpplurkcompysand,2.0
26929,shortyproper why didnt u tell me its going to rain today i left my umbrella in the crib ,2.0
26930,i went to sit down and i fell over ,2.0
26931,rt healingmb benefits of yoga  amazing for our for mental health yoga healing mindfulness meditation healing ,1.0
26932,shical i agree  shicablackberry or busti love my bb ,0.0
26933,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26934,packing for my trip to israeldont worry ill be blogging w pics ill post the links later wish me luck hezballah wants me ,2.0
26935,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
26936,missed birthday this is an odd one desperate my brthdsy is in a month or so my last birthday had one or so people say happy birthday to me but i told people it waas acknowledged that makes me feel really bad i didnt want any gifts i just want to be cared about even to the extent of s couple words i try so hard in life and it gets me nowhere i dont want to still be hung up on last years before this year destroys sme because i feel worse and i dont think any more people like me now can anyone give me just a belated wish  it would mean a lot im sorry,3.0
26937,feel completely empty this is a throwaway account   im an almost  year old dude and ive never had a girlfriend the only girl ive had sex with yelled another dudes name i live in the middle of fucking nowhere i have had a crippling porn addiction and a serious weed addiction which while not super harmful is annoying as hell to be entirely dependent on to have a good day the girl ive been invested in for the last  months is so wishywashy that its entirely clear to me shell never want to actually be with me as much as she teases the idea at me   ive been trying nofap for the last  months and have been attempting to quit smoking weed for the last  weeks i feel so empty in all my free time and i just feel like im going to hit a breaking point i dont know how to be happy alone the only thing ive ever wanted was to be in a meaningful relationship and i still havent gotten into any relationship meaningless or not i feel like such a fucking loser   does anyone know how to be happy alone and how to drop the idea of wanting a relationship i have no confidence and it feels like ill always be alone   nofap hasnt made me feel any better i have so much free time now that im not browsing and using porn its making me realize just how lonely and pathetic i really am   someone help,3.0
26938,is the librarys new best mate ,2.0
26939,pepperfire  agreed it could be a time thing but still  wom mouth or kouse is  tool in foodservice mkting always was  ,0.0
26940,feel the it is kicking in    noooo ,2.0
26941,whatbarbzdid you know its hard im here for you ,0.0
26942,rt xjocc less stress more sex,2.0
26943,dameunited lol as theres just an hour left and its chucking it down i somehow doubt it looks like its in for the day ,2.0
26944,annabranch man am i jealous good for you ,0.0
26945,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
26946,fjkinnit oh its a problem with adobe air the settings are set to not connect to internet so its fucked ive reinstalled heaps ,2.0
26947,what kind of depression do i have i will keep it short and simpleit has happened a total of  times within the span of  and a half years i would wake up at a random daymorning and feel extremely terrified i dont know if i ever felt depression but the way i felt those times were like if nothing was fun nobody loved me even though my family loves me and knew it but somehow still felt that way sacred as if i just saw some paranormal haunting im a very strong person and never show my weak emotions but that feeling is the only thing i am truly terrified of and wouldnt care to let people see me cry like a vulnerable baby the feeling only lasts for about  min i once woke up like that at  and went to go wake up my mom while she was sleeping and hugged her as i was almost crying its a feeling that i cant control at all i can go to sleep happy then wake up like that the next morning without warning if anybody has ever felt this way please share your possible answer as to why i feel this way thank you,3.0
26948,codyfisher cant do that in illinois i wish you could though ,2.0
26949,greggory ive been excited about that all week  ,0.0
26950,has headache and a tummyache but on the bright side college monday oh yey ,2.0
26951,rt jcgreylavilla youre bad for my mental health,2.0
26952,currently fighting a depression nap,2.0
26953,twicullen thats so cool ,0.0
26954,my mom doenst take care of her animals properly and now its falling on me my mom has a  year old cat and an  year old dog the cat has hyperthyroidism and the dog has arthritis and skin problems the wasnt taking the cats health seriously so i stepped up and took it to the vet where is was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism my mom pays for the prescription food and litter but i take the cat to its frequent vet appointments ive spent around  on the cat in the past  months my mom isnt managing her dogs arthritis how shes suppose to she doesnt walk her dog wich will just make it worse so i walk the dog she says she cant afford to give the dog meds everyday for the arthritis i could technically afford this stuff i have about  in my savings and  in a trust fund but com on i wasnt planning on spending all my money on two elderly animals i just cant do it mentally either i cant be responsible for  elderly animals if i take the dog to the humane society then im sure hell be euthanized so if anything i need to find someone whos willing to properly take care if him if not than im obligated to take care if him in that case id rather shoot myself but if i shoot myself then the animals will just be left behind with my neglectful mother im fucking trapped,3.0
26955, a think a might leave a coment like whats the point in even explaining yourself aha a really want a celeb to coment back ,2.0
26956,first tweet from my new desktop computer  my old one had a melt down ,2.0
26957,is getting tired i hate sleeping and i miss you ,2.0
26958,lindsayslifee ,2.0
26959,allahlynn hahahaha sige yot mag  ko unya hahaha naa sad baya koy kiki ddto bwahahaha,1.0
26960,i need support i had a really bad night last night a full blown panic attack following my boyfriend saying he doesnt really feel like he loves me or wants to be with me anymore ive repeating the same things to him regarding my insecurities and how he doesnt really seem to care as much anymore and how theres a really big difference between  months ago and now i went back  months and read our old messages and its clear as day the difference he said i have nagged him and chewed him out too much about this subject and am making him feel more distant its gone from wanting to be with me forever and that im a treasure to hold onto and fight for to being barely existant to him i decided he was probably right that i have a tendency to chew out based on my feelings and apologized and tried to make up we made up and then the next morning things seemed fine until i asked him to wash his hands twice he said i was nagging and it put me back into feeling really depressed ive always had a tendendency to be depressed but i also have really bad abandonment issues he wants me to just pull out of if and have a good day to love myself more i hear this love yourself thing all the time and it really upsets me because i naturally do feel as though i love myself but i also love my partners a lot too i always end up being the one who loves more i know this sounds like an rrelationship post but what i really wonder is not how to handle this relationship problem and more so to know how does one break out of depression when they never really felt they had much of a support system their entire life my whole life has just been abandonment and people not wanting to deal with my emotions but im always there for the people i love regardless of their mental issues if anything it gives me more of a drive to make them feel special and loved i just really hate the feeling when its not reciprocated ive spent so much time alone as a child and ive done a lot of self improvement not that there isnt room for more i have gone from hating all humanity and never talking and wanting to kill myself because of how shallow society is to breaking out of the shell and loving people and wanting to be social i make sure i eat healthy i shower and groom myself i go on walks i really do try to love myself but i feel like i have no support or true love at least not the kind that i provide to the people i love,3.0
26961,have tonnes of work from office ,2.0
26962,chrisssyk what a horrible position for u  b in baby  just keep telling her to go on the trip amp not stay for him hopefully shell listen,2.0
26963,now that i think about it birds got it,1.0
26964,cena vs show vs orton vs the game ,0.0
26965,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
26966,michaelwhill yeh hes good value ive been getting people to bombard him with messages to contact me all to no avail ,2.0
26967,even though we are no longer sleeping together happy birthday                          ,0.0
26968, home from another super long day shower bed exam saying goodbye to stephanie    celllllll,2.0
26969,sad i didnt get to meet up with my cousins ,2.0
26970,uhh yal mind if i finally fukin ovr my social anxiety n finally got a cutie girls number today 😳,2.0
26971,i think im at risk of falling into a depression today the last week has been good but after a poor nights sleep and turbulent dreams i can feel the dark sadness creeping up on me and im not sure how to combat it any suggestions,3.0
26972,why am i like this i dont knowif  this is linked to my depression but im very happy with my life right now and havent had any suicidal thoughts in months but every time i have to do something for schoolwork i wont do it till the last day and put me under such a high pressure that i start the day crying and hating myself why can i never find any motivation for these important tasks before i really have to do them if anyone is often in similar situations i would love to hear your storyadvice,3.0
26973,just got my bangs cut ,0.0
26974,sad thing is i cant do the event cause i deleted the game awhile back and quitand i was bumped down from rank  to rank  ,2.0
26975,what are suicidal thoughts lets say jim has depression he tells himself that he should die and he should kill himself pretty much every day jim even pictures and thinks of different ways he can do it jim feels like he should die but deep down jim knows that he doesnt want to die yet  would jim have suicidal thoughts or is that not considered to be suicidal thoughts,3.0
26976,new hurr thanks to catey  loves it,0.0
26977,lmfao bribri made me tweet  bored  daii omfg i gotta new bed i rox,0.0
26978,ok ppl off for a while ill be back later hopefully hahaha love yall ,0.0
26979,i just want it to stop i had a massive panic attack and i dont even know what it was about its like this thing just came over me and started consuming me it got to the point to where i was constantly shaking for two three hours it wouldnt stop and all i wanted was for it to stop it got so dark that i wanted to kill myself and i started seeing that as a viable outcome it just doesnt seem to end and i just want it to end,3.0
26980,ispeakhiswords awwwthank you maamhe is so good ,0.0
26981,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
26982,to make ur replies visible to all your followers place a r before the  ofcourse remember to space the characters ,0.0
26983,sydneyuni thanks for that totally reminded me to listen to michael kirbys talk ,0.0
26984,just deleted all my bastard songs off my ipod ,2.0
26985,want food too ,2.0
26986,rt oraltwjnk depression ,1.0
26987,oh no our bub this is awful im so sad for him and his family ive lost my grandparents as well my heart hurts httpstcoywrpfmkfhr,1.0
26988,catiadestine  good afternoon friend ,0.0
26989,good night people ,0.0
26990,can someone please dm me i know im on an anonymous throwaway but im still not really comfortable talking publicly about anything i think ive finally hit a breakthrough after  years,3.0
26991,rickcofficial whats the link ,0.0
26992,tummy ache ,2.0
26993,a lot dissapointed that jay isnt releasing  on def jam  ,2.0
26994,mcflyfankatie idk now its finally white looks terrible though i like it colourful d lookin forward to paint it yelloworange ,0.0
26995,edwardmasen im still here ,0.0
26996,jasonkc and im working not being productive and have a lot to do  wiiiiiish i didnt have drug tests ,2.0
26997,rt nochilinhj me and my well being trying to escape depressionvc dopeisland ,1.0
26998,hankb i love my job  ,0.0
26999,carocat hi cat ,0.0
27000,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
27001, ncjensen  yeah that doesnt seem to be working ,2.0
27002,scuzzzy thanks scuzzy well try to play that for ya ,0.0
27003,may housing starts up  building permits up  producer pricing index ppi down   keep it coming  httpowlyenbx,0.0
27004,resourcefulmom good night friend  mmwanted,0.0
27005,xolotl the crazy artist dream machine guy id totally be wm burroughs if it wasnt so flimflamming damned cool to be mediachick ha ,0.0
27006,rt yagirlchris thats when the depression reallyyyyyy jumped out ,2.0
27007,ddlovato we love you to ,0.0
27008,amp i daydream about the days we hadand i wonder if you are sad are you are you really saaad i miss the christmas season and santa ,0.0
27009,upset i cant find my chi ,2.0
27010,misery im a miserable black hole that sucks in anybody close to me and makes them as miserable as i am i dont know what the fuck to do,3.0
27011,im bored and lonely ,2.0
27012,is going out tonight with friends ,0.0
27013,i dont know if i have the strength for anymore sad news today  and i gotta bust a twelve hr,2.0
27014, more early risers just wandered past my desk discussing the lost finale lalalalala cant hear you ,2.0
27015,chalupaaaas i miss you more caroooolineeee ,2.0
27016,i dont really get the point of doing anything at this point its like my brain is controlled by something else and all i can do is watch as i ruin my own friendships and annoy other people there is no point in even trying to fight it at this point because i only make the situation worse of course even if i told someone about my situation or how i feel theyll just tell me to buck up and try to do something but what happens when i physically and mentally cant why can most people just do all this work without hesitation all i want is to be productive with my life but of course i cant even have that and of course all my friends dont seem to care anyways my parents just ask are you ok with almost no context behind it and of course i always answer i dont know like i cant seem to be able to find the confidence to even say the word yes anymore i just wish i could sleep forever or somehow someone can reverse this curse that has been put on me ,3.0
27017,on the way to wildomar ca towing the lexus ,2.0
27018,heading to mega mall with adelsha maria inyoi ryan ricky n rubennoo gonna watch knowing ,0.0
27019,rt baldboyblues this is what my mental health looks like right now httpstcodochfilxfy,0.0
27020,rebekahmcfly im a pussy lmao nah i change my mind mannn i have to go sleep already  aghhh xxxxx,2.0
27021,hayleighcolombo omg i cant wait for six flags i still feel trashy going but im not going to lie and say i am not excited  ahh lmao,0.0
27022,my beloved toshiba sattelite has died on me ,2.0
27023,mrsleftybrown well since it woke me up my brain wasnt functioning yet to make a witty remark i fail ,2.0
27024,twit twit twit me ,0.0
27025,all of these driving sessions are draining my energy ahhh ,2.0
27026,rt  update warm n sad,1.0
27027,rt mernaangry ur wcw sets her dreams n goals but does nth to achieve them bc her depression is taking over her life its me im ur wcw,0.0
27028,rjakesdub contemplating watching a movie or just surfing id put in an exercise tape but living in a complex i think theyd evict me ,0.0
27029,latest pirate chapter is due tonight and i havent slept yet sounds like its going to be a thursday posting ,2.0
27030,not going to cracker  s too wetamprainy and becs foot stuffed  haha can you walk s are you coming monday,0.0
27031,goodsex does more for me than goodhead i need that male penetration ,0.0
27032,not quite exactly through week  and im already so exhausted ,2.0
27033,going to macados with caleb adam greg katie and sarah  happy graduation greg,0.0
27034,lagi mellow please where are you ,2.0
27035,ever since i started following funnelcakefriday was started sixflags ive really wanted funnel cake   or a churro or fried dough,2.0
27036,ilmg  awesome we just need a few more players ,0.0
27037,my plan for tomorow is to wke up at  go on a run revise for abit then watch mcfly dvd  and then revise again,0.0
27038,twitter just said i have a nice picture ,0.0
27039,its only a few days left  i think peterfacinellis gonna losebut still go team carlisle slash peter xd,2.0
27040,emargee euzie mrspboutique buses are bad rahrah is making me garden from a bath chair though ,2.0
27041,having lunch ,0.0
27042,my freakin camera is broken ,2.0
27043,we know everyone is sad and wanting to send their love support but lets all be respectful and not trend ht instea ,0.0
27044,justineville lians going ,0.0
27045,listening to the radiowaiting for mcfly ,0.0
27046,mariahcarey im so bad at ntt  but i luv u,2.0
27047,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
27048,im at the desert diamond casinolady next to me just hit ten grand ,2.0
27049,need some advice so to begin i have mild depression and anxiety i think but basically it was really really bad last year but this year it has gotten way better but its definitely still there i take some meds which help tremendously but recently it seems the depression is starting to spike back up again i think its starting back up for various reasons first of all im  now and i still dont think i really look like an adult or close too one reason being i think im too short for one even though my height is actually ok its  so not bad and i may be still growing and also i always thought my hair and clothes looked bad so i decided to learn how to match clothes better and properly style hair i workout more and it helps but for some reason i still think no matter what i look just too young and not good enough even though deep down i think i actually look pretty good but my head is much louder then my heart because of this i always have the urge to look in the mirror all the time which wastes time and impacts my grades but when i look at the mirror im determined i still look bad and waste even more time in there i find myself comparing me to other guys and such which ive tried to end i get very anxious but its weird because sometimes i dont feel anything and i can talk and such fine and other times i fell awkward and not good enough my conditions are very random and some days i may never be upset until someone says one little bad thing or does something bad to me what also sucks is ive never actually had a gf which i long for and i feel like none of my friends actually are that close to me to begin with i cant really explain it but i just feel very alone and when i think about what to do after high school i get sadder because i think i may be even more alone i dont really have a plan for college and a job yet and i dont even drive which makes me stress and kinda freakout earlier this year i felt much better because of the meds and felt like no matter what i looked awesome and im amazing no matter what and that things will workout and all will be fine issue being the depression has seemed to spike up again as previously mentioned i do have a best friend who i love very much i have known her for  years and we were so close and i always looked forward to seeing her so i think shes pretty cute and kind and such so i eventually fell in love with her last year and told her my feelings  though i found out she liked someone else ever since then i was upset but it got better and we just kept fighting and argued im not even sure why but i was upset at some choice she would make and would get pissed and wouldnt want to see her for some time though i think that broke our relationship as we are not as close as best friends anymore for various reasons i have paid attention too i can just feel our relationship is basically no more she wants to hang with other friends more we dont take about personal stuff we dont test anymore she gets mad if i ask about her personal life and she basically dosent seem to be excited to see me but is around others when i confronted her about this she said she dosent feel like anything is wrong but i know for a fact it is and it hurts tremendously she also used to say nice things about my appearance and it was really uplifting but now i see her say my guy friends are cute whenever im with them but she never says anything about me anymore she dosent give me hugs and shows affection anymore sometimes i wish she would just hug me and say something nice like your hair looks good today or something but that seems like its overand the final issue is i have been wrestling for  years ever since my dad forced me into it in  grade presently i cant stand wrestling anymore and cant even stand going into a gym during a tournament  im so burnt out and such i just dotn find it fun and i want some more free time as i feel like i always have so much to do though i feel like i cant leave because my parents say i have too and cant leave and that ill regret it if i leave my final year but honestly i dont think so as im just really depressed and alone feeling sometimes i only look forward to sleeping anyway that was all i wanted to say thanks to anyone for reading through this i mostly just wanted to get this out but if you can give any advice on anything i would absolutely love it,3.0
27050,i got dumped yesterday on my  day of isolation nhs isnt testing but ive had all the symptoms and been fucking ill i woke up to a test yesterday saying he cant be in a relationship because of everything going and and that he saw his ex the day before i really love him so it fucking hurts the text he sent before was litrally i love you but i cant be mad and i know he needs to do whats best for him and i really hope he feels better soon its just with the isolation  i feel so alone and cant stop thinking about him im so fucking sad i just miss him so much ,3.0
27051,going to see coriline  later  listerning to billy ray cyrus back to tenneasee i wanna go to tenneasee to ride the horses and more ,0.0
27052,i cant sleep ugh ,2.0
27053,shaneinman thanks buddy same to you ,0.0
27054,more to the point why couldnt they have been real ,2.0
27055,mental health is so so so important,0.0
27056, yes that stupid hooker  wow two stupid hookers in one day  amp amen at the tickets  no blink concert now ,2.0
27057,i want to die i broke up with my abusive ex  but its not over he wants to take the dog from me that he abused at the same time he abused me i said no and his mom is harassing me about it when i was with him i wasnt really able to hang out with my friends he always said he wanted me to be able to have a social life but any time i went out it resulted in a fight it wasnt worth it now that the relationship is over my friends dont trust me and keep me at arms length because i was forced to be so flaky before i dont blame them i wouldnt trust me either im so tired im so done i dont have any support i just want it all to end i guess this is my goodbye note i hope some of you can be well and find the peace that i cant,3.0
27058,im only happy when i am dreaming edgy and cliche i know the only time ive ever found solace from my mental illness and generally subpar life has been in dreams whether im fully sleeping or just daydreaming my imagination has been incredibly vivid for as long as i can remember  im  and even now if i think of something hard enough i can visualize it in real life enough so i have to remind myself its not real i cant do it all the time but when i do its always a really cool experience often i escape onto my own world its like my body is chilling while my mind experiences a detailed movie controlled by me if im disturbed from day dreaming my depression hits me like a brick fucking wall all the emotion and wonder just drains from me and im a sad dumb piece of shit again i hate the reality of my sick brain i hate that medicine doesnt help me if my brain can imagine all these wonderful scenarios why cant it just fucking work right  instead of putting all this energy into detailed movies in my head why cant it just put that energy into working like a normal fucking personmy favorite game of all time is final fantasy tactics advance the premise is that the characters get sucked into their fantasy land and most of them dont want to go back only the main character marche does they all become ideal versions of themselves and get to go on wonderful adventures as much as i love that game i always thought marche was a fool to ever want to go back to the real world i envied the characters so much i would fall asleep to the soundtrack and imagine myself on that world to this day i would give anything in the world to be in that game i still play it on a regular basisive relied so heavily on escapism my whole life i often dont know how to handle things anymore any chance i get i try to drift off into my fantasy world and imagine scenarios between my characters i will take im a freelance artist and when im not doing commissions i draw these lofty scenes and get mentally stuck in the finished product envious of my characters in the scenes in which ive placed them i live vicariously through them and i recognize its not healthy but i dont know how else to cope i believe when we die its just like a dream our minds leave the bodies behind and experience whatever they want i wish i could die already and experience dreams forever my reality has always been depressing and painful im a disgusting nobody everywhere but in my fantasies,3.0
27059, tosaveusa bizzyibe ap and he was correct to shoot pc as we know from watching the dash cam you d ,1.0
27060,so its been five years since my failed suicide attempt and i still regret not having enough sleeping meds to finish the job theres nothing worse than waking up alive and a failure its been miserable and i wish i had succeeded but only forty more years right,3.0
27061,smh i really should not have ate this late  starting to feel stomach pains ugh,2.0
27062,rt  damn thats sad alexa play thats what you get by paramore ,2.0
27063,my toes are cold ,2.0
27064, apparently me and sophies is gruesome but she wont be there thats not right ,2.0
27065,is talking to christa mae doble  ,0.0
27066,this is the good lifea long wend a new pc the most amazing woman in the world to spend the wend with its gona be a good day ,0.0
27067,hangover was hilarious tomorrow night shall be epic ,0.0
27068,stealingoneal pass me the moneyy ,0.0
27069,wow another awesome sprint finish ,0.0
27070,im not sad im just fed up with life maybe someone can relate ,3.0
27071,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
27072,so not keen to start this evil art essay  grrr burn o wel   week holiday after that yay jbay billabong pro  here i come ,0.0
27073,man i wish i were able to sleep in i always wake up early gahim gonna try ily  ,0.0
27074, she didnt get here till too  ,2.0
27075,chazdrums loli can gauge you by how you hold your cup ,0.0
27076,  still got no where on this dam hair of mine ,2.0
27077,has a fever and swollen tonsils again  took a pain killer hoping it magically goes away in the morning,2.0
27078,i feel so left out not having an iphone  theres no such thing as a  update for a htc touchpro ,2.0
27079,jonsislandgirl thats ok we all do it you saw his  min interview right that is my vew fav ,0.0
27080,nothing mad ,2.0
27081,sdpriceless its like a dream if i could id stary here forever  amp if youre into fashion its even better all is touched by it ,0.0
27082,hopefully everyone is done with the anxiety of the day  cheers,2.0
27083,bed work in am ,2.0
27084,then we were still there  we went swimmin an i got sunburned bad my whole face is red like a tomato sad it burns ,2.0
27085,lotay aw where are you at im chillin my butt off in west hollywood  melrose amp fairfax ,0.0
27086,thought i could heal like wolverine den i burnt my finger  and well its turned red and its hurting,2.0
27087,not nearly as much as facebook puts kids future at risk check mental health research on topic kayajones ,2.0
27088,i am not feeling well ,2.0
27089,suffering through another loooooong day of clinicals then off to work ,2.0
27090,its gorgeous here in san diego todayhow is it everywhere else i believe seattle sent me a cool breeze todayjust for me ,0.0
27091,anyone else feel like they just missed a vital area of social development at some point in their lives and now cant recover from it im a  year old guy and ive literally never had anything even close to resembling a romantic relationship virgin no girlfriends no flings not even a kiss nothing and now i feel like im at the point where its too late to learn how to do any of those things everyone rightfully assumes youre a normal human and figured out that part of life at a reasonable age like in friggin high school with everyone else but i didnti was in love with a friend and sat stuck in the friendzone for all of high school so i missed out on that entire developmental stage and that made me self conscious in college so i didnt even try anything with any girls until late in my junior year and at that point my glaring weakness due to inexperience really crippled me i would get blown off by girls id meet actually hit it off with and then attempt to get a date with like id go from long convos and laughing to getting ghosted even before i actually asked them out it happened a handful of times to me and just really turned me off as i graduated college so another developmental stage missed ive now been out of college  years first year i had no one around and everyone i worked with was older and im an introvert obviously so i feel super uncomfortable going to bars or other hangout spots alone this last year ive been hanging with an old friend who came back to town and predictably ive fallen for her but then for the first time things actually started to happen like cuddling and closeness however with my no experience i handled it like i would a complex math equation froze with no idea what to do so now idk if i blew that opportunity and just as importantly if i have any chance at not blowing every single one of the likely few opportunities ill have moving forwardi seriously feel like at  its legitimately too late to learn how to do this kind of thing and its not like im some socially awkward anxious person i just have no idea how to do anything relationshiprelated and even the thought of it makes me uncomfortable and confused however im a human and i want it just as much as anyone else tldr  i missed out on learning how to datebe in relationshipsbe intimate in high school and college and now i have no idea how to handle a new potential love interest also afraid ill blow every romantic opportunity i get from here on out because of my ineptitude,3.0
27092,on the way to summerfest dont want to be a bitch anymore ,2.0
27093,heading to muncie all day emilie  ,0.0
27094, is in less than  hours and i dont feel ready everything is against me especially during these holidays my friends my family myself are all fucking me up deeply  was not a good year for me how am i supposed to survive  when theres no one left to help me,3.0
27095,serotonin boosting so i was on ssris for a couple years they worked pretty well but i couldnt live with the side effects and my gp was making me jump through hoops to stay on themnow im not on anything i was doing pretty well self managingi think coronavirus the ronies had got me in a super depressed state yesterday i was so negative and withdrawn i didnt even want to talk to my fiancee because i was afraid of picking a fight that i know is not reallast night i went to bed  hours early i ordered  of serotonin boosting supplements i have been taking methylfolate and it has been helping some i also ordered tryptophan same and does anyone have any experience with theseive already changed my diet and have been exercising more,3.0
27096,work webmail is down at the moment how am i supposed to do any work ,2.0
27097,inaperfectworld i would stay seventeen forever ,2.0
27098,ciaraftw oli writes it all ,0.0
27099,happy birthday vionaayu ,0.0
27100,good morning everyone or good afternoon here actually  todo list for today find a job times are tough ,2.0
27101,using var me  new james  jamesdowork   im disposable  mecode,2.0
27102,im off now see ya later  xxx,0.0
27103,ew amusmentttt ,2.0
27104,quotno racialquot is the  quotno homoquotoh how i wish jae was on twitter youtube quotno racialquotits really good if your racist like me ,0.0
27105,i push away the people i get close to about a year ago my whole world was flipped upside my passion my love my friends were all taken from me i found out march of  that i had almost completely torn my rotator cuff this forced me to quit swimming keep in mind for the past  this had been my life my coping mechanism and even where i made my friends having practice every morning and evening now i go to school everyday and come home to sit in my empty room alone with the lights off on my phonei began to resort to texting and meeting new people online but eventually i started to push these people away because im scared of letting them know my struggles and that i dont want to continue anymore ive repeated this cycle and blocked so many of my once friends my mom constantly showers me in affection shes always there for me shell buy my favorite foods to try and cheer me up shes paid thousands of dollars on mris and medical expenses so i can pursue my dreams shes always wants to spend quality time with me to be honest shes the only reason i keep going but i repeatedly push her away i refuse to hang out or talk to her shell insist on giving me hugs and ill refuse i know im a horrible person for refusing all her affectionnon assertive affection  im desperate for affection im constantly searching for it but when it appears i reject it and hide whats wrong with me,3.0
27106,tekkdave lol it was epic pwnage but i had to go ,2.0
27107,emilywideman ha i only have three ,0.0
27108,its raining again smh it feels like new york moved to the other side of the country plus it makes for a miserable day ,2.0
27109,once again another pretty sunset  can see it from the atrium,0.0
27110,rt elderlansing jay z is a disgusting race baiting thug who sold crack calls women disgusting names shot his brother stabbed a record,2.0
27111,off to another fun day of work at both jobs ,2.0
27112,so cold ,2.0
27113,stday none  well good luck with the lipstick shading,2.0
27114,i fell of the top of my bunkbed head first trying to save my pillow  it realy hurt ,2.0
27115,sis is ok thank god ,0.0
27116,fletchmcgull uh oh still sunny here at the moment im guessing that means itl be down to us by tomorrow ,2.0
27117,missing bay ,2.0
27118,ಲೈವ್​ ವಿಡಿಯೋ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ವಿಷ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಗೆ ಶರಣಾದ ಯುವಕpoisoning suicide livevideo youngman police ,1.0
27119,rt mirulhalim juruteramy no need to mention your engineer title in every caption on your socmed   post gmbr dgn caption stress k,2.0
27120,how far is too far when do i get help sorry this is long there isnt really a tldr available  timelinegot a new boss who started blackmailing and threatening employees including me so he could replace us all with his friends becausd i left job i had to get new job at lowes which was v dangerous they broke my arm then cut my leg open with a forklift and severed my achilles couldnt walk for months in the middle of pt and learning how to walk again i was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo a major surgery to save my life still suffering pain and repercussions from that a few months after that my only remaining friend  who had been my bff for  years told me i wasnt worth the time and effort and cut me off and moved across the country my doctors keep telling me to wait it out and that depression is a normal side effect of surgery but its not normal i wake up with crushing hopelessness my life is a dead end i hate my job i dont have a support system anymore ive lost everything im severely depressed sometime it gets so much that i have this compulsory need to hit myself i get so angry all the time for the dumbest reasons im not myself at all i have not tried to take my life neither have i made any plans to do so therefore all  of my doctors are telling me im fine i tried to call a therapist to schedule an appointment but she told me to call my doctor instead because i needed more than talk therapy which just throws me back to the this is normal cycle at what point have i gone too far do i need to check myself into a hospital for mental health or do i have to be in danger of taking my life before anyone will take me seriously,3.0
27121,wwfclimate lspearmanii unfucktheworld jntns johnembrace thanks for the ecomonday ,0.0
27122,man im a lil upset no kole  well i didnt see her,2.0
27123,pistaa  vallejo  with the finesttt ever ,0.0
27124,mainebabyboomer no all is right with the worldim more than happy to live the life of a soontobe homeowner ,0.0
27125,find me a cuter maknae than this i dare you dongwoon gt lt,0.0
27126,sigh guess i should start doing what they pay me for now  ,2.0
27127,please read does anyone want to talk it would mean the absolute world to me im  i got diagnosed with a nasty stomach condition i cant enlist in the army i lost all my friends because im stuck at home all the time and just got out a  year relationship we are on good terms but im in so much pain constantly i cant eat ive lost  pounds i sit at  when i was  i have no energy im barely motivated to do anything i have no friend fucking none and i just want someone to talk too ill be here whenever im needed to vent to and whatever is talked about will always stay between us,3.0
27128,houseofmuses yup ,0.0
27129,supermodel always brings me back to a sad place hehe,1.0
27130,how do you plan to survive this summer all it takes is a couple of months and then well be back at it again summer time that means for many of us that well see people slamming right in our faces their happiness more than in any other seasoni personally got accustomed to this time of year even though it took about half of my life to learn how to tolerate summer plus i dont have much of a choice since my brain hasnt been able to experience pure joy or similar feelings since yearshow will you survive summer  assuming that for several depressed people out there is not a pleasant time of the year,3.0
27131,ima miss my apa mates  i dont want it to end just yet,2.0
27132,rt urlbbe having a threesome with anxiety and depression,2.0
27133,almost died laptop screen was set to  brightness after i reinstalled windows vista got a headache now  insanedefaults,2.0
27134,olneyenzo im reading harry potter yey ,0.0
27135,im not in skoolcoughim sick ,2.0
27136,still jobless so i am tanning and then most likely doing nothing all day ,0.0
27137,horrible evening yesterday but now we happy again ,0.0
27138,going to the studiofinally ,0.0
27139,my battle bar still wont work no matter what i do about to uninstall again and give up ,2.0
27140,looking for a plan b this has been wonderful to me free car amp all  read the quotabout mequot part ,0.0
27141,rt joebiden honored to join drbiden and the remarkable men and women from supportthewalk walkofamerica who remind us all of the debt o,0.0
27142,being bored at home alone again ,2.0
27143,killerkillb kmcradio  rratkinson look it comes down to how much we value life bottom line i bel ,1.0
27144,just got home cleaning  had a great day with maxie very grateful for seminormal days in his autistic world just love him so much,2.0
27145,maita brainstorming makes us hungry taking a merienda break with the girls  yum ham  ,0.0
27146,oh you have to buy the game ,2.0
27147, awww i think that was cute  lol,0.0
27148,hoping that our brooklyn metrostars dont suffer like arsenal did today     gah,2.0
27149,different strokes for different folksbut i guess ill have to approvecant fight with an eclipse  ,0.0
27150, um nothing just watching tv ,0.0
27151,alexajordan omg could it be next weekend ,0.0
27152,wait this songs better  bloc party ftw  ,0.0
27153,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
27154,rt khushsundar dont forget kathuan n unnaodont forget lynchingsdont forget  deaths in atm queuesdont forget farmers committi,2.0
27155, i already have it dvrd so excited ,0.0
27156, thankyou i took a zirtek ,0.0
27157,running out of options i feel like ive run out of options as far as my depression is concerned i have been on and off different medications for  years with no longlasting benefit i have tried therapy multiple times and given up because it made me feel worse i have tried talking to friends but they usually become frustrated and give up i tried writing all of my negative thoughts down in a journal to get them outnow i obsessively read over it and add new thingsi dont know what to do anymore i want to get better i want to fight this i know i am a lot to deal with for the people in my life but i feel like i can be a great person to people when im in a decent frame of mindi just dont know what to do anymore ,3.0
27158,what am i supposed to think of this person ive communicated with this person whom i was with for  years but have now broken up that i am fully back in my depressive state that i had gotten out of years ago i expressed to them my past trauma of which is very severe and they know that theyre the only ones ive told this to and that as an adult im having a very hard time dealing with and am beginning to feel suicidal urges they started off by ignoring me completely and i just called them out on it their reply was that i cant really help you with this and theyre back to ignoring me your thoughts,3.0
27159,is my depression substanceinduced or all in my head ive struggled with depression all my life despite being a bright and happy individual on the outside however ive struggled a lot with identifying the causes of my depressionas a kid lonlines bullying a dysfunctional family and bad school performance caused my depression but now im a teen nearing college ive got an amazing girlfriend and many friends moved away from my dysfunctional family and am quite a likable person i also am talented with music art and writing however i still am just as depressed as ive always been if not morei noticed myself really slipping in a hole after i began smoking weed and my nicotine addiction inve always been depressed so im not sure if these things are keeping me from growing past my depression or if they are just what my mind likes to blame as the cause of my depression and on occasions suicidal fantasieswhy do i still feel depressed everyday now that ive got a bright future and a good current situation is it substanceinduced or am i just blaming it on those things instead of owning up to my responsibilities for my thoughts,3.0
27160, full hours of sleep will do the job maybe leah will come over  then party party tonight,0.0
27161,crying this mainly showed up mainly after a traumatic experience but i just cant cry anymore i feel it build up in my face and chest because i want to cry very badly but tears just wont come out and yes i technically can cry but its things like someone dying in a tv show or just anything that doesnt deal with something that is about my own problems so its not emotionally relieving at all  and then if its a huge thing in my life i end up isolating myself for daysweeks when crying would certainly help reduce thisjust wondering if this happens to other people and if anyone has something they do that can make them cry idk just ranting since this is currently happening to me let me cry goddamnit,3.0
27162,ticos pool party at hotel big straws bestest people  perfect ,0.0
27163, i only  min lunch break today stupid dead filing,2.0
27164,mileycyrus if you say me quothelloquot in twitter i give you a gift b please say me quothelloquot please please ,0.0
27165,allknightlong oh i did ,0.0
27166,maggiechicken but tim and bigz cant be replaced by these fools ,2.0
27167,uhhis ne  mzasianbeautys tweets ,2.0
27168,edison exploratorium put a dispute on the domain names that i own  they are in for the fight of their life,2.0
27169,ended up going to the beach todayfell asleep amp got burnt  tonight watched my  class of students grad from  gradetheyre so big,2.0
27170,joytron well they are really awful recordings so i dont have em on line  i will dm you a link,2.0
27171,ahh the project isnt working now gah ,2.0
27172,misterunsy woohoo thankyou ,0.0
27173,mileycyrus miley i love yayoure my inspiration i love u so muchfrom venezuela ,0.0
27174,greg pritchard was robbed of a place in the final of bgt cry baby bitchface got through instead ,2.0
27175,musicmonday def leppard ,0.0
27176,frank bruno joins campaign trail to talk mental health ,2.0
27177,on my way out to eat lunchhappy mothers day ,0.0
27178,seratonation cant help but think hes upset about something ,2.0
27179,is still loving him some rita but hates being away from her ,2.0
27180,off to work i go  i saw my grandads bro today  made me miss grandad so much as he sounded just like him   months from i buried him ,2.0
27181,xmaxinex am goin to tweet some celebs haha aw ok  goodnightttttttttttttt xxx,2.0
27182,maryalicehale blondie is always mad at me lol probably should stop with those blonde jokes ,0.0
27183,i dont know what youre going through but i hope you succeed,3.0
27184,rt viewfrome liberals like goodalle lie so they dont lose votes plain and simple this is the reason they lie they want to keep thei,1.0
27185,rt howverygauche ive just barely clawed my way out of major depression and i can tell you ive been busting my ass trying to choose hap,1.0
27186,saying goodbye to more coworkers this week at least a couple are coming back in the fall   ♫ ,2.0
27187,cold  hangover  not goood ,2.0
27188,gorgeous day  worked the master gardener plant sale trimmed smoke bushes and now to do some writing ,0.0
27189,what happened to the sun wasnt it just  sunny and beautiful and now this gloomy shit again ,2.0
27190,another mirror day for performance finls energy materials lead small cap amp growth lag  opposite of yesterday  i liked yesterday ,2.0
27191,i feel like such a bad person i feel so bad because i have stuff going on in my own life and im not able to make people important to me happy i wish i could so badly but i feel like all i do is annoy them constantly whenever i tell them thats how i feel they tell me that i dont but i still feel like i do and idk whats wrong with me my boyfriend says that sometimes he feels like i ignore his feelings and i genuinely never realize when or how i do that and i feel so bad that i cant pick up on it i want him to be happy more than anything and as of recently he hasnt been he says its not because of me but im not helping and i just feel so bad  i distanced myself from all my friends due to a very hard episode i went through a week ago and i feel like such a bad person for everything now i feel like i dont deserve the things i have right now anymore,3.0
27192,okay now im notfire alarm everybody out  sittin outside now ,2.0
27193,squarejaw righto its all this mans fault jeremycshipp ,0.0
27194,on my way to norfolk to spend some time with brian in freakin icu phone will be off just keep him in your thoughts ,2.0
27195,  coming to work w a rag on your head,2.0
27196,is very very bored waiting around at court ,2.0
27197,alexglasshands aww ,2.0
27198,boxofjuice hehe i do thank you trying to get my mind off things but will eventually have to make a decision ,0.0
27199,ewanspence yay i am not the only eurovision fan on twitter  ,0.0
27200,rikerjoe aah yes such is the price of popularity ,0.0
27201,people i hate myself all my friends were making plans for spring break right in front of me talking about how theyre going to go on a trip together and get lit which sounds fucking terrible to do and they proceeded to invite a new member of our group to go and told him to not feel pressured for wanting to go and not be invited fun fact half the group were my closest friends in highschool and they just kept fucking talking about how much fun it will be while im just sitting there trying to build up the courage to ask but by the time i had something the topic had changed and it just got quiet and awkward is it my fault for not saying anything or are they bad friends i cant fucking tell and it just sounds like its my fault i went to my room because the lack of conversation made me feel exposed and like i was killing everyones vibe and guess what now theyre all laughing with each other and enjoying themselves how the fuck can i just change everything about who i am im just so undesirable to be around anyway the rants over sorry for wasting your time also sorry if this sounds fake its my first post here and i just needed to say this shit so that it doesnt build up inside me and end badly,3.0
27202,sleepy but many things to do ,2.0
27203,wrbolen still sad waze for tacos never took off,2.0
27204,rt captaenken ppl that dont like snsd are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated creatu,0.0
27205, i have tickets for your show in edmonton ab this summer cant wait i think youre amazing ,0.0
27206,wendyproudodt have a good time wendy ,0.0
27207,molly my mental health is so bad atmmolly i love — yooooo you understand my mental health has nothing  ,1.0
27208,thank god im  meetings in  day ,2.0
27209,rt mrblifil drvox except he never errs by accidentally doing something that might help a poor person or person of color i would submit,1.0
27210,sospokesaroj im not into the entire shaadicom thing im content with how things are today plus a lady wud rob my twitter time ,0.0
27211,im leaving the day after tomorrow na ,2.0
27212,i hit a low today i thought my depression was under control until recent events things took a turn for the worse  weeks ago when i overimbibed to a dangerous level and ended up saying something to a friend related to another friend that was very nasty but not even remotely true ever since then my depression has come back with a vengeance i sleep more than ever i dont go to class anymore and i just keep crying in my bed its an ever spiraling vortex of shame and guilt i cant see my friends because were a tight knit group so although i know everyone cares about me i still feel like an interloper when im in a social situation i just want to retreat to my hole and never leave today i hit a low i wanted so badly to go home but felt so ashamed i didnt want to tell my family why so i figured why not just take the easier way out and spare anyone especially myself any more pain i dont understand how i can go from being happy and stable to in one second feeling these feelings again i keep trying to use logic to keep myself grounded but its like im looking for negativity in everything now and im just giving up i just needed to get it out because for an extremely chatty person i find myself very alone and unable to speak to anyone about it ,3.0
27213,goingg tot he beach todayy ,0.0
27214,uhi love you all ,0.0
27215,you can tell the state of my depression by the number of unread emails i have the more unread emails the worse my state and it only gets worse as they pile up pretty simple but so valid ,3.0
27216,harrietjames  sage cant wait to go swimming,0.0
27217,damn it were losing ugh im about to cry ,2.0
27218,i hate knowing hes sad and in pain i just want him to be happy always ,1.0
27219,theskorpion yeah but im about to go to sleep ,0.0
27220,kathymimi they might not be posting anything im happy to help ya  call me kathy,0.0
27221,danarpi whats going on ,2.0
27222,my tummy hurts ,2.0
27223,jessijaejoplin i so would ,0.0
27224,superb footie result making mushroom pork for tea as i live in an apartment on  floor and cant hold a  bbq ,2.0
27225,gonna go eat at back board  whats are yous guys doins ltjxgt,0.0
27226,salandpepper mrs glutton  has allowed both daughters to have a sleepover here tonight too  someone shoot me please,2.0
27227, awwwwwww that must look so cute  we keep spotting the same one outside work it has a white diamond of fur on its head ,0.0
27228,remind me not to take afternoon naps cos its nearing  and i still cant sleep ,2.0
27229,saraellen boys dont cry was an amazing movie sory about before i was asleep  feel so awful,2.0
27230,yay for the writers groupexcept im early but when am i not early that is the question ,0.0
27231,thenearlywed mercedeslv retrobakery  lets schedule a july gno for whine amp wine  throw some dates at me ladies ,0.0
27232,kilika ah but you have to stay strong my scot cried pathetically at night when we crate trained her  broke my little heart ,2.0
27233,anyone feel decent but not enough just a thought that i hadanyone else have that feeling like im fine at something maybe even be talented but im nowhere near talented enough or special to excelthe feeling of baseline mediocrity i guess ,3.0
27234,just listened to blink  and think they are my summer band of retro ,0.0
27235,pink the weather in melbourne is shite  but im sure youll heat up the stage on saturday night i cant wait,2.0
27236,boovicky pls dont make me go in my bed is too comfy i may cry if i have to leave it  x,2.0
27237,  i miss you sis i miss arelytovar  ,2.0
27238,cant feel anything but tired did you ever get in a situation where the person you want to talk to has some goood gooood stories to tell and you know hes happy and you want to be happy and positive and enthusiastic too but youre just too tired like  hours of sleep with unprecedented breakdowns for the past  days tired that somehow you want to be listened to instead i feel selfish for it and when i started to rant i felt really guilty,3.0
27239,rt lucrasaa futaba so sad steve jobs died of ligmayusuke who is steve jobs futaba ligma balls,2.0
27240,put out an app on my wife meagandenise shes missing ,2.0
27241,feel like crap stomach ache headache on my own and looking after my dog  x,2.0
27242,letting people indating im  been diagnosed with clinical depression since  and just started uni in a new city after a month of university my depression is back in a major way last year i worked ridiculous hours which helped keep my mind busy and i felt my work was appreciated i formed superficial friendships with my older coworkers and generally felt happy im usually a easy going laid back guy but being back with my peers i feel like an outcast ive made friends but feel like my negative aura stops people from wanting to get closer recently ive gotten interested in a girl in my class we flirt and have become good friends but i feel scared asking her out since i know episodes will come and dont want her to be burdened with it or know how bad i get do any if you guys have any tips on how to let people in with emphasis on dating,3.0
27243,amylynnequist yes you have great taste in musica fine frenzy a rocket to the moon run kid runim flabbergasted ,0.0
27244,ok too hot to dig any more dave  weeds  dave  sun  nearly  year old helped me with his little wheel barrow and rake ,0.0
27245,i havent talked to beneubanks all day  kinda sad ,2.0
27246,just  read that ndubz lead singer diagnosed with swine fludamn ,2.0
27247,nikkiwoods no problem i think its a great thing to reflect on ,0.0
27248,fuck anxiety,2.0
27249,beginning my journey i have been on a spiritual path and transition for the past couple of years now it began without me even realising it and i have been trying to use this time of self isolation and uncertainty to reflect take stock and evaluate life for what it truly isi decided to document my journey with mental health and spiritual development in video form as a kind of diary to reflect on and contemplate things when i feel i need to i would also encourage anyone who may be going through something similar to give it a watch to see if theres anything they might connect with it would give me great pleasure if theres anything at all that might be of use to you in my reflective ramblingsheres the link to my first video thanks for your time and stay safe  xx,3.0
27250,hair dying nicely tummy ache not so nice ,2.0
27251,blerrghh the weather is terrible ,2.0
27252,these specialized mondo tires are horrible for a trainer only a week and worn out to a bald patch  ,2.0
27253,only  people in class today ugh it is so lonely without my rape buddy here ,2.0
27254,first time having suicidal thoughts theres just so much in life that has been piling on for so long everyday for the past year i wakeup with this feeling of emptiness thats swarmed by anxious feelings and thoughts ive never felt so overwhelmed in my life before and i dont want to do this i had never considered suicide until recently i spent the last  minutes crying because of how stressful this feeling is i dont know what to do and im very scared,3.0
27255,dannymcfly i loved ur singing it was really wonderfull we cool of falling in love call me lol ,0.0
27256,abcents someones bday  anywho yea besides me i can wear my jeans,0.0
27257,slight depression after break up so i went through a break up recently i dont really miss him as he was verbally abusive and selfish i told him when we first started dating that i had lost all of my grandparents whom i was very close to all of them he had  grandparents still living i enjoyed spending time with them so much it broke my heart to see how he talked about them behind their back it was horrible said that they were stupid im kind of grieving like when my own grandparents died again i have an appointment thursday to get back on my meds,3.0
27258,types of people the teasers awesome with good graphics and nice blood i like the blood nom nom looks like more story too ,0.0
27259,field day at school todayi am ready ,0.0
27260, like your pic ,0.0
27261,mcflyharry something goodim bored ,2.0
27262,dentist says my teeth look good  guess i do a good job brushing and flossing ,0.0
27263,mishkm exams ,2.0
27264,as long as the travel assignments and interesting stories keep coming ill be good ,0.0
27265,depression is wanting someone to listen to you vent but knowing that no one actually gives a shit about your problems so you dont say anything at all,3.0
27266,who else doesnt mind dying of the virus i dont care i have lost interest in being alive everyone keeps taking advantage of me and the idea of having a normal life seems impossible i cant break into anything or prove myself anywhere the world is only going to be harder after this a part of me feels relieved by the idea of dying no more shit from people,3.0
27267,is it possible to not complain or to blame and be a depressive guy at the same time hii´ve been thinking that gratitude is a great atitude that has the power to improve our lives blaming some people and complaining about some stuff going on is not worthy but i dont know if i can really be grateful and cope with depression at the same timewhat do you think of your experience,3.0
27268,i hate being sick  summer school tomorrow rip jlp ,2.0
27269,themadmodel im about  take my sister  her friends househit the celly or dm me n ill hit u when i get back to the crib ,0.0
27270,dedmonds it probably wont be ready til midnight ,2.0
27271,marne   xoxoxo cryingatwork,2.0
27272,being alone is so difficult right now im going through a breakup with the love of my life the person who i believed to be my soulmate were half a world apart one of the contributing reasons for the end of it and im trying to cope with the depression and suicidal ideas and anxiety attacks that come on their own as well as accompanied by all the difficulties of knowing your life partner will move on forget you find others who are better i feel so isolated in this life right now as we recently decided that we couldnt continue being friends because we just keep saying things that hurt each other and cut to the bone when we argue i feel like a burden to the few people i know well enough here to confide in and like an easily ignorable thing for my past friends the ones not in this country that i made in my younger days that have their own lives and need to only scroll past my calls for help i went to the psych ward of a nearby hospital last weekend because i was having severe panic attacks and suicidal feelings im not planning on selfharming or anything and im currently on a new medication i just feel like i crave interaction but know that i have nobody in my life who loves me the way i used to be loved ,3.0
27273,themonkeyboy lol yeh well if youve got a  shlong then there is no worries dude ,0.0
27274,its hot i just injured myself really bad and cant even walk    not a good look,2.0
27275,the fun is over the bride is dry heaving in the limo ,2.0
27276,dammitttt just saw a friends status msg on fb and now know who is leaving masterchef  i didnt want to know ,2.0
27277,terencer wonders why nobody answered his petition question ,2.0
27278,iamblackbox   my homey ipenhitz was laughing at us go  bk n  lastnight  u tried it with da producer hopping comment  smdh  ,0.0
27279,i could have saved  innocent lives from this pain i was sad in middle school and wanted to die i later found out depression and anxiety runs strongly in our family but my mother rufused to let us know or get us help i made it through married the love of my life and we have  amazingly beautiful babiesbut every day i wish i had killed myself back then and saved them all from this life if my husband never met me he wouldnt have been part of my fd up family he was accused of the unspeakable and through years of struggle and fighting and losing everything we have ever had thursday he stands in court again after breaking probation and trying to kill himself again to be given  years in prison thats ten more years of his life wasting away for a crime he didnt commit  more years of our daughter crying that she misses him shell be graduating high school by the time he gets out  years that my oldest boy will grow up without the amazing man that made him and  years of my youngest two never having even know him i had our youngest last month hes never even met his last son all i can think is had i killed myself then it would have saved them all from this lifeand i cant get past it,3.0
27280,slept for  hoursnow i dont think i can fall asleep  unless someone can snuggle with me ,0.0
27281,eucalypt deletes mine as well ,2.0
27282,revrunwisdom so true so true that really hit the nail on the head ,0.0
27283,smpfilms hmmmill have to check and see where mine is right this very minute ,0.0
27284,ryan and i are dancing to loaded no doubt right now ,0.0
27285,inmanyways darn it i cant watch your vid either ,2.0
27286,rindaelliott you dont want your guest to linger do you ,0.0
27287,fibenymph yeah it was great to have that much interaction w glutenfree tweeps  could you follow me back please ,0.0
27288,victoriaqueen meee once im done with all these notes ,2.0
27289,i hate this im not strong enough ,2.0
27290,aionliv shame i wont be around for aion beta opening  damn nongaming friends making social plans p,2.0
27291,doneonly dalton good morning ,0.0
27292,about my perpetual exile last week has been a bit rough to me i have dedicated the last  months of my life to one of the things that i enjoy the most and one of the few things i can relate on sociology this was my last year and i have been working hard on my final degree project a sociological inquiry about the work of albert camus to the study of collective action but i finished it three days ago i and with that my exile returnedi have been suffering from depression since i was  my whole life has been a nonplace to me i do not recognize myself as a subject i do not know what my identity is i do not know who i am i only know what i do that becomes my little kingdom the place where i feel nice and warm where i recognize everything including myself but when i have nothing to do my depression comes in opening the gates of that dense shadow that tries to consume me and feeling outofmyself feeling nobody i cannot help but let those shadows to take hold of me the exile returns and i make of it my kingdomyesterday i tried to express what i felt and feel in those moments i wanted to understand why i am not able to glimpse the clarity that accompanies every night that illuminates us in camus words i wanted to know why i keep embracing the night my loneliness my exilei wrote that in  it is in spanish my mother tongue so sorry if you wanted to take a look at it but could not understand it it was also a product of my depression a draft that my mind sketched without thinking twice so its level may be a bit disappointingif someone reads it and has any comment i would be pleased to talk to himher thanks,3.0
27293,omg i got no sleep again neighbors are building a deck amp theyve been starting   im so tired feel like i just took benadryl ,2.0
27294,artbyideity i cannot find full episode  or  anywhere online for the fashion show just  minute clips ,2.0
27295,do you ever miss it cutting self harm i do all the time yet i also wish i could take it all back and not have my scars,3.0
27296,yeah its my birthday im so happy its  am and im so tired i need some sleep im babysittin right now on my birthday sucks ,2.0
27297,layin outside on the hammock  today was pretty much great ,0.0
27298,i definitely definitely definitely have anxiety issues because of my weird parents,0.0
27299,lost cant believe everyone is dead  i didnt see that coming  only joking wouldnt spoil it  not seen it myself yet ,0.0
27300,stephaniefizer no problem your stuff is so cute cant wait to see the mini cards youre making for me ,0.0
27301,joebonsall our prayers are with youboth for healing and strength to remain silent for that long  ,0.0
27302,wowow way to act like you like me then ignore me awesome ,2.0
27303, i guess i see it differently jason told then he was removing the questions and andrew responds to that in the link you sent,2.0
27304,கரூரில் பள்ளி ஆசிரியா்கள் திட்டியதாக மாணவன் தற்கொலை,1.0
27305,rt realdonaldtrump had a very good and interesting meeting at the white house with ag sulzberger publisher of the new york times spen,0.0
27306,my pyrograph is broken no more wood burnings until ive managed to find a new oneand i have so many orders to complete ,2.0
27307,mynameisanthony so excited ill see you tomorrow love ,0.0
27308,littleradge did you sign it little radge ,0.0
27309,pyoorgrant me too  my hair has grown about  inches since i got it cut its too thick to do anything with its driving me insane,2.0
27310,lying here crying for no reason on the surface things arent that bad im fortunate and really have had a pretty good life but inside i just feel like garbage theres no reason other than depression when my daughter gets upset shes very young she will say she belongs in the garbage and it just bites me so hard my nightmare that she feels like this one day logically i understand that its  her way of expressing herself but it kills me to hear her say it because i feel it i hurt i hate this,3.0
27311,judezxo ohkayy sorry  um they should run until  i think,2.0
27312,whoa this actually worked wwwdrinkthccom thehangovercure no hangover for work today  i need it in bulk,0.0
27313,kimmmmie yayy i shall tweet at you more often now until you start to get addicted ,0.0
27314,lilcreolesd awwwww sorry to hear dat   glad to know u doing a lil betta amp relaxed hope ure good tho,2.0
27315,one of the worst day  ,2.0
27316,i got this big ass sun hot i think im toooo cute im cold ass shyt with this dress on yoooo y the housin lady juss grilled me ,2.0
27317,listening  polar bear club i am watching drag me to hell tonight ,0.0
27318,hallelujah its friday and a  day weekend  i am excited for adventures in store,0.0
27319,purplejellybean  cant you go ,2.0
27320,fairlybiased  yeah i guess me personally i dont give a shat my followers go up and down faster than a  hooker  ,0.0
27321, its amazing how a career can be snatched away in the blink of an eye ,2.0
27322,grrrr why cant blur come to la ,2.0
27323,top  worst things people say to depressedsuicidal people that doesnt help  stop talking this way its horrible how many times ive tried saying how i feel and people just tell me to stop stop talking about suicide you wont really do itthis is the thing that pushed me to planning suicide to attempting it you have no reason to be depressedthis only makes me feel worse any jokedo i have to explain when somebody says they want to die joking makes it harder for that person youre weak and a pussy if you try killing yourself to escape your problemsmental health doesnt mean you cant solve it head on youre a coward for asking for helplisten it doesnt make you a pussy to get help it means youre brave enough to kick your problems ass,3.0
27324,gettin a root canal today ,2.0
27325,depression and employment looking for work  looking for work isnt easy at the best of times but it can be e ,0.0
27326,fennb thanks for the tip ,0.0
27327,rt jessiepaege reminder you dont have to scroll through instagram every day watch instagram stories or even respond to all your texts,0.0
27328,setting up my twitter account ,0.0
27329,theres no stars in providence ,2.0
27330,noterobot  nice to meetcha ,0.0
27331,enjoying how slow sundays are at work since i am here and not at church ,2.0
27332,rt gbpressgazette haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,2.0
27333,why do people ignore you when you tell them how you feel ive been so sad and down when my friends and i are hanging out and i tell them im sad and why theyll just go back to doing or saying whatever they were doing or saying it happens with family my roommate and my friends i feel like nobody is listening and nobody is here for me i feel like my own sorrows and i are stuck in a box were trapped and cant get out i just wanna know why people just brush things off like this when they say they care about me ,3.0
27334,neslekkim grothaug told me that they where mine ,0.0
27335,joqes this gives me anxiety,2.0
27336,maybe this isnt the right sub but i dont know its been a while since ive posted here on my old account how are you allpersonally im doing awfully this is the worst ive been in a long time maybe its because im  now and i have more  responsibility i dont knowi was bullied into applying for a job by my mum who thinks im just lazy ive tried explaining to her before about how unhappy i am but all i really got was your life is pretty good so you shouldnt be depressed like what the fuck is that even meant to meanim fucking terrified of getting a job i dont know why i just am i just dont see the point in anything anymore were all gonna die one day meaning everything will be for nothing if that makes sensei cant remember the last time i was truly happy theres always something going on in my head from worrying about the things i have to do now im  and the changes that will happen to the overall feeling of emptiness and dread when i told my mum i applied i told her if i ended up getting the job and really didnt like it i was going to quit straight away and she said yeah but you need to apply to other jobs before you quit like it took me around  fucking months to apply to the job without panicking half way through the application and closing it and she expects me to go through that again several times when i try to explain how hard it is she just gets mad and says stuff like yeah but youre  like okay so fucking what this might all just sound job related but theres a lot more to it in  i was really sick im over it now but ever since then i just havent seen the point in anything whats the point in doing anything when everyone will just die in the end why should i even have motivation when everyones lives are the same go to school go to work for  something years retire die whats the pointsome of this might not makes sense im sorry but i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
27337,looking forward to nice weather tomorrow definitely going to be outside if possible ,0.0
27338,holgr typo there  wwwtomloverrocom i should be able to spell my own name ,0.0
27339,man i need to makeup that  loss this is why im going to hustle this weekend aka not going to have a nice relaxing weekend ,2.0
27340,lying in bed  its cold,2.0
27341,i thought i would enjoy all of this free quarantine time being productive and creative but ive just been a total slouch and lazy as shit i lost my job because of covid ive been doing my schoolwork online which is good but i am also a musician and ive always dreamed about having all of this free time to work on music whats crazy is when im in school and work i still manage to get much done creativelynow with all of this free time ive been squandering it laying in bed eating shite food and feeling depressed i hate this my state is on lockdown right now i really want to work on my music but i just cant find the spark i just want to lay in bed all day im seriously considering buying sudaphed just to pump some energy into me in the morning ive already been drinking two cups of coffee and a redbull before all of this shit i was on a nice scheduleroutine and was eating a decent diet and meditating everydaynow i wake up late and jerk off first to some bullshit on the internet and eat a microwaved burrito for lunch and just browse reddityoutube all day i feel like a total slothbasement dweller i hate feeling this way i have so much to do and so many ideas typically i am a very industrious motivated and goal driven person but with everything going on ive just been so demotivated literally feels like i have bricks weighing me down i dont know i just need to rant to some internet strangers  also yes i have a therapist i see weekly,3.0
27342,ihsaneliacik  topraklarda bin yıldır kimse maddi yoksulluğu manevi yoksulluğa tercih etmedi rabbine hep şükü httpstcozonidjfypt,0.0
27343,kiwinerd sorry to hear you are getting bugged by needy folks who want but dont wanna give  have you settled in back home yet r u ok,2.0
27344,clearly no recession in cape town y r there so many ppl  the vampa im here  get ingredients  my samp amp stew dinner ,0.0
27345,madilovesmerder there are so many great greys songs to listen to  the people who pick the music for greys are talented lol,0.0
27346,crying yourself to sleep and just knowing it will be better in the morning then crying again as soon as you wake up this really hurts i feel like im suffocating why am i like this ,3.0
27347,have a big week ahead of meand i woke up sick ,2.0
27348,i had a small tweetbreak from twitter i think i needed it ,0.0
27349,had scrummy curry last nite taste buds really enjoyed it now rest of body is getting own back   wont stop me having more curries d,2.0
27350,just joined a twibe visit httptwibescommarketing to join ,0.0
27351,epic headache ,2.0
27352,rt ianspam to be honest im not doing good depression got a tight grip on me recently decided i need to start seeking help sorry it t,0.0
27353,its freakin hott haha im sunburntfell asleep in the sun yesterday ,2.0
27354,two thumbs down for up so sad ,2.0
27355,rt  if you have ever suffered from• depression• anxiety• eating disorder• selfharm• ocd• bipolar• feelings of guilt,2.0
27356,caroljae morning cj we were trying to talk softly so you could sleep inlol ,0.0
27357,am hating doing the housework ,2.0
27358, haha good  hating my assessment due tomoz gtlt hbu,0.0
27359,i need to buy a cheap and cheerful teapot but dont know where from now that wollies is gone ,2.0
27360,im cutting myself again i just cant take it no more the temptation is too much i just want it i am nothing either way im just too afraid to off myself,3.0
27361,rt uniquesaxton yall be so quick to do mfs wrong its sad,2.0
27362,loved playing vollyball in christchurch meadows  ,0.0
27363,hanging out with someone special ,0.0
27364,awwww i feel so sorry for holly ,2.0
27365,its so hard hi everyone my family last month went behind my back and put my dog down im not close to them at all and how they did it was in a evil wayhe was around  years and yea i know oldbut i still feel he had time i know he did i had plans to take him to the vet actually the next day even though he was acting normally anywaysout of my   years of living this has been the hardest event i am going through and i been through tragic events back to backand made it out still breathing at least my dogbestfriendeverything was my joy in life the reason i got out of bed every morning to feed him and take him outside and i had my daily routines because he was involved and needed menow it doesnt even feel worth tryingits been a month and four days but whos countingi miss him dearly and everyday it seems to get better but also worse i feel i just needed to vent and get this out because ive been reading posts on here and i feel you guys i really do everyone keep your head up even if its hard and listen to your own adviceremember that we are all gonna make it out strong 💪🏽 😔,3.0
27366, because you saved the frog i thought i replied to that so it would make sense so how does twitter work  gehts abi gut,0.0
27367,copy of thread toteenagers teenmom teenager teenageengineering obesity obesidad obesitycollective,2.0
27368,frankouk aww i wish i could come too bad i dont live in the uk ,2.0
27369,flashmcdonnell the humour and createahero options make it more than worthwhile i made a lad who exploded wherever he was hit ,0.0
27370,more mcd lpga sadly thechristinakim and morganpressell were already gone when i arrived sunday so didnt see them around ,2.0
27371,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
27372,six flags  was alright  not as much fun as last year,0.0
27373,back from chicago after a latenight planedelayed return this weekend told a dirty joke on friday  dinner but you had to be there ,0.0
27374,weejockmcfurr  jock i am  too and have some off days which makes the hoomans worry and feel sad res httpstcohbfganyqsa,2.0
27375,i really dont get why jaylor split  oh well her and lucas till suit   x,0.0
27376,and all i do is miss you and the way we used to be    days till i see the killers live,2.0
27377,its loading  ,0.0
27378,ausaudriel well i get up early every day always get tired around  and then awake as hell at  ,2.0
27379,dunno why but i deleted a bunch of post now my page is lame ,2.0
27380,rt taylorndean imagine how easy life is for people who have such normal mental health that they genuinely think the cures for depression,0.0
27381,just awnser this question what is the meaning of life why should i keep living when there is nothing left for me not suicidal or depressed but should i keep living,3.0
27382,iamwhoever favour  can u write song title before u blip  i cant tell off my iphone ,2.0
27383,alone and depressed a guy told me to fuck myself because i didnt give the details of my i had a bad day he called me crazy and said i shouldnt be a therapist i reached out for help in a depression group im in and the bitxh admin thought i triggered her too much in a prov as the conversation so she banned me from the group when i was clearly in crisis i wish i could post the screenshot it was horrible please help,3.0
27384,completely overwhelmed and dont know what to do about it oh boy where do i even startso im a  guy from france studying part time for an electronicscs degree at a nice engineering school and working the rest of the time at a tech company as an apprentice in a cushy office job got a bunch of friends play drums in a cool band have a supportive family a cute dog supposedly im not too ugly seems peachy rightexcept ive been feeling down for so long i cant remember what its like to be normal and visibly im pretty good at keeping a straight face because noone seems to have noticed i wanted to kill myself for  years straight luckily i got through that before doing anything stupid but the last couple of months ive been feeling worse and worse and worse and now im fucking scared im not suicidal again but i dont want to wait until i am to do something about itive never spoken to anyone about anything mental health related other than another rant on reddit last year with another throwaway ive lost the password to i dont really have anyone to speak to irl my supportive family is only supportive on the material level and my friends have enough on their plates as it is without having to deal with my shit and anyway im not close enough to any of them to feel comfortable speaking to them about this sort of thing the only way ive gotten any form of support is by lurking on reddit forums and selfhelp groups grabbing useful tidbits that helped me last a bit longerthe worst thing is the loneliness ive somehow managed to autopilot my way through life for  years without building a proper relationship with anyone even accidentally like i said there are quite a few people that i consider to be my friends but for all of them im that guy thats mates with soandso and its been the same for my whole life yayaside from that schools doing my head in im regretting every decision ive made from middle school onwards work is fucking tedious and if i have to do this shit for the next  years ill just leave for nepal to live as a goat even my music is pissing me off ive literally just packed one band in because i cant be arse pretending to enjoy it anymore and the other is all i have left in terms of fun stuffbasically i dont know where to go what to do or how to open up to anyone about anything if i was in the us id probably try to find a therapist according to reddit they seem to help but i have no idea what the equivalent is in france just spent an hour on my unis website trying to find resources on mental health and how to get an appointment with someone found absolutely fuck all if anyone has a pointer ill gladly take it because i dont think i can do this on my own much longerstay strong you wonderful people,3.0
27385,uuuuuugh cant watch the spirit video has been removed  but ironman was gooood i may have to buy that one day,2.0
27386,ashleytylerrix im so jealous  have so much fun,2.0
27387,twellowhoods only for usa and canada yet   and ive just joined too,2.0
27388,yaysnowday wicked  glad you like and nice to meet you ,0.0
27389,sgfernandez omg im psyched about the sims  too ,0.0
27390,and molly has to stay at coreys moms house even longer now until we can find another apartment if we dont get this one ,2.0
27391,i need a new healthcare provider aka the mental healthcare system is shit im so tired and depressed today i can barely manage to even write this im just so fed up with my healthcare provider recently a month ago i missed my appointment because i was sick and i couldnt get another appointment for another month later i couldnt get my medication refilled and had to go to the hospital after days of not having my medication i was physically sick at that point i couldnt sleep at all because i didnt have my meds for insomnia and now i missed another appointment this month because i had to go to my cousins house in another city because the hot water heater stopped working and i couldnt shower i couldnt drive back to my city for the appointment because no one could take me so i cant get another appointment until april  i dont have enough medication to last me until the so i have to go to my primary care doctor and hope hes kind enough to understand  my situation its really fucked yo because being off these medication even for a couple of days can really mess with your body i honestly hate going to my current provider i never liked them and ive had really bad experiences there unfortunately i havent had any good experiences with therapy ever ive had psychiatrists be openly rude to me and therapists tell me to just kill myself or be openly condescending to me ive never had any compassion from the mental healthcare system ever and it makes me sad because i know other people feel the same way i dont have the money nor do i live in a good enough area to get any service thats actually worth the time but you do what you have to do when you live in the inner city  i just feel so depressed because i have so many other things going on like trying to get back into college but thats a whole other story i feel like its all my fault and im trying to be a responsible human being as much as i can but the stress of home life and all this just makes it too much for me to handle alone and it makes me feel bad because i want to go to college and have more responsibilities and live a productive work focused life and be an adult and not have to rely on any for anything but its like i just dont have the energy right nowi dont know i just really needed to get this out there and talk to someone if i can i feel like its all my fault but i did the best i could do and it wasnt good enough the mental healthcare system in america is fucked but no one caresim not sure if anyone cares about me honestly and my situation i sure have never gotten that feeling from my the people whos job it was to help me when i needed it mostif you actually read this then thank you i dont have a therapist currently because ive personally given up on therapy its never helped me and my therapists have all been very unkind to me and unwilling to acknowledge what works for me and what doesnt or just treat me like a complete idiot if any one else can relate to my situation please share your story i just want to know that its not all my fault,3.0
27392,happy mothers dayof to gods placehollaaaaa ,0.0
27393,breakuphelp im glad to hear that have a heart to heart talk peacefully maybe things will get better good luck and god bless ,0.0
27394,notnatefisher i dont like the sound of that at all  ill be here waiting,2.0
27395,great work out healthy mebody and soul i shall try to keep this habit its time to sleep and be bless with my life today goodnight ,0.0
27396,please vote struggled with depression my entire life but this past year was a battle i thought if any group would undersrand my story it would be this one my fiance and i entered a contest the contest gives us an opportunity to win  towards our reception thebcontest asks why do we deserve itthis is why we have been through one hell of a year with me becoming unexpectedly ill which triggered my depression constantly throughout the year i have always lived with depression but this past year really challenged me i have been out on medical leave since february  and still am it has taken a toll on us physically mentally emotionally amp financially but we continue to push forward although i felt helpless for months i was bedridden i experienced blackouts vertigo nausea chronic migraines etc please read our full story by clicking on the link below help bring back some positives in our life every vote counts please vote and confirm your vote via email you will receive an email from word press thank you so much,3.0
27397,todo list  make plans cancel plans mindlessly watch tv half asleep while feeling guilty about cancelling plans,3.0
27398,i love that i can sleep now  lol,0.0
27399,ipreuss have played the lego star wars game was fun ,0.0
27400,sociology revision west brom game roast dinner lazy sundays ,0.0
27401,my gcse maths exam went pretty well ,0.0
27402,playing at the haven tonight with cassandra wilcox patrick bell ben bloss amp bucket of nails doors are at    under   ,0.0
27403,yoursake oh my gulay stressful ,2.0
27404,rt  jajjaja que sad httpstcoxsshljksdb,2.0
27405,luhluhloveee im so sad that you left me ,2.0
27406,raining again ,2.0
27407,mileycyrus i miss my big brother  hes in japan right now playing rugby ,2.0
27408,twitter took my picture away ,2.0
27409,off to my first day of work ,0.0
27410,lol lalavazquez let me find out your into that risque stuff lolbut her body is sick makes me want to workout ,0.0
27411,judyjay yeah thats what im going to do i think ,2.0
27412,just looking at twitter not really wanting to go to bed yet lol surfing the web looking up random stuff on the web ,0.0
27413,at work  ,2.0
27414,msson    yep these pants are made for walking or wait,0.0
27415,tealou lol its just ive seen more anger and vitriol from you than anyone else and youre on the side that won ,0.0
27416,everything changes when i drink coffee i rarely drink coffee but when i do i feel great the world seems more vibrant i journal far more and am far more creative as well i realize many people get depressed from drinking too much coffee then quitting but that isnt quite the case here ive stopped drinking coffee for months before with no change to my dispositionthat said i do get comedowns from coffee i feel so terrible when i do hopefully im asleep by then,3.0
27417,jonathanrknight so sad  you never know what can happen in lifealways tell the ones you love how much you do,2.0
27418,my eyes are hurting sooo bad but i still need to do more revision for tomorrows synoptic paper which im probs gonna fail anyway ,2.0
27419,listening to daddys coming home  dpride thinking of ways to make some money ,2.0
27420,rt chiller schools are in crisis mental health is in crisis yet the funding is there to take parents to court  whatever the cost b,2.0
27421,rt etinni we really didnt get to live our best lives until recently its sad,0.0
27422,its been an experience its really been a bit of a life changing experience joining this subreddit seeing wholesome comments people helping people but now i must bid farewellim leaving this subreddit not because i feel enlighted or my self esteem and confidence are fixed but because you know when you want your life to get better you have to make the choice and change it for the betteremotionally charging yourself with others problems is not really good thing when i try to change my life for the better and im also a sensitive and empathic person so stumbling across a random post of someone saying they want to off themselves is really bringing me downi wish everyone a good life and please take care of yourselves and always seek help there are always people who are willing to listen and talk and help online therapy suicide prevention health lines never lose hopelife gets better if you do something to make it betterdont just wait for answers because no one has them no one really figured out life successful people just saw the opportunity and took it that doesnt mean they figured their life or that they are happyso go out there seek help do something even if its a small insignificant thing like watching the sky looking at trees breathing fresh air while taking a walk take small steps just do what makes you happy even if its weird as long if you dont harm yourself or others just do it,3.0
27423,going to try to get to sleep now so i can wake up  free breakfast then the beach ,0.0
27424,today im happy i made a donation to a kennel in my city ill be a volunteer  httpwwwlardosbichoscombr,0.0
27425,rt chonisexual depression knocksme no not yetdepression ,2.0
27426,wossy many congrats on the music industry  award well deserved ,0.0
27427, followers ,0.0
27428,whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  die already plzkthx,2.0
27429,somebody know how i can deal with loneliness my best friend is missing and he is also my only friend its not the first time this happened but i feel so fucked rn and i need smth to make me feel fine idk what to do pls help me,3.0
27430,raymondberg god i scared you with that story huh  hopefully not too much permanent damage has been done  ,0.0
27431,just formatted a hard drive for a customer  putting on vista    bored,0.0
27432,on the train home whooopa  pretty damn bored tha ,2.0
27433,for the record klbz and  msstewart i ate smores for lunch today when my husband wasnt looking ,0.0
27434,have had the best day ,0.0
27435,walkersports yea very true ,0.0
27436,i wish i still believed in something i used to be an idealist an activist a believer in the potential of humanity now i believe in nothing because ive been through too much i literally dont think there is any inherent meaning to life death or our existence as much as it makes me sound like an asshole i dont believe in good of a single person either because i dont even think goodness exists i believe in nothing ,3.0
27437,xmcflymcrx haha thats a cool way to spend a weekend oh and y r u sad ,2.0
27438,defo failed my gcse maths ,2.0
27439,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
27440,cleneezie bamboozled is the right spelling ,0.0
27441,still having a positive energy dayeven though i just lost my battle w miamidade expressway authority over a tollbooth citation ,2.0
27442,   we said that we need to spread the word so thats what were doing ,0.0
27443,not again  will haunt me ,2.0
27444,missed most of masterchef   wonder how poh would have done,2.0
27445,sleeping like a baby ,0.0
27446,im working on some short stories while riding the bus home  hurray for friday ,0.0
27447,tgif thank god its friday i just wish it wasnt supposed  rain ,2.0
27448,terakopian thanks for ff ,0.0
27449, sweetgood shit i was about to head back down to chicagobut i prob wont go until tomorrow have a good show ,0.0
27450,im so sad because i was in los cabos literally three weeks ago and now youre telling me he is right where i was w ,1.0
27451,chrisgorham if you say so i wont  ,0.0
27452,evansdave thanks man  i appreciate it  you rock sir ,0.0
27453,frannington yikes  i hope the physio works and it gets better soon,2.0
27454,blueeyedcat there not true shortstack  fans  lol  we aree tho yaya shortstack  there sexy and great ahha love there songss,0.0
27455,backstreetboys were keepeing the backstreet pride alive too even we have an uniform im gonna start crying  buaa  bsb,2.0
27456,rt ekalimusic mental health from my perspective ,1.0
27457,beccus and unfortunately probably never will ,2.0
27458,perezhilton damn you for posting this so last minute i would of gone to the screening but in the valley and wont make it on time ,2.0
27459,so thats why hes sad and not talkative this past few weeks  i really feel theres something wrong and now ,2.0
27460,i feel like my time is up that i had my chance it feels like my life sorta peaked already ive been suicidally depressed for several years but i had my moments i had some fun times some good friends experienced some good things i felt happiness once love too it turned out to not be real but i bought it at the time to say id die with no regrets is absolutely untrue but i feel pretty lucky to have at one time felt wanted,3.0
27461,jessmypet unclesean eddiecurrent  lets not forget  quotnine months since the zombie holocaustquot or quotpretty in blood redquot ok im spent ,0.0
27462,reading new moon although i have to start doing my homework ,2.0
27463,i love pandoraradio it can really make an room better ,0.0
27464,i just cant do it captaini dont have the powername that moviecome on this is an easy one ,0.0
27465,did i mention those were ice cream flavors  ,0.0
27466,how can i tell if im depressed or just occasionally sad for no reaso there are days when im so tired and demotivated that i feel like i could lock myself in a dark closet and nothing will be different there are also days when i do everything normally and i just wonder what was that about i just cried for  minutes straight under the shower without a reason but now im feeling ok whats the difference between depression as in the medical condition and just plain old sadness when i read about depression i seem to have almost all symptoms but calling myself depressed is stupid as there are people out there with real problems and hard lives and real depression i really feel like im faking this or forcing myself to be sad because im an attention whore or something but despite that i still cry for no reason without wanting to whats going on,3.0
27467,aibiwashere ours was in the midapril so it was only a little less hot than normal and the event was  hours long tip take water ,0.0
27468,morning peeps ,0.0
27469,i need mango ,2.0
27470,i am relieved hello everyone just to introduce myself i am  years old f and still in high school my dad has a severe debilitating disease and has been sick for the past three years my freshman year of high school and then on he has had an enormous array of health complications since then and continues to decline it has always caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression was starting to rear its ugly head i have always had ocd for as long as i could remember my main obsessions were making sure the doors especially the front door were locked i would be watching tv in our living room across the hall from the front door and i would think about the front door i would get this odd sensation down my spine and i would jump up and check the door sit back down and check again i would do this  times in a row and in high stress situations with my dad i would check the door even more often and for more times a day i also used do things in numbers i would be stuck doing certain things such as tapping or rubbing the edge of something or even applying deodorant in numbers i was obsessed with      it was so odd i would check and check and obsess and obsess constantly my thoughts would literally disable me they were very painful i couldnt breathe or eat or sleep normally my anxiety was my new reality i would cry at the drop of a hat and i would have these scary unreal panic attacks i stopped checking the doors because my new obsession was my health i was and still am a bit a hypochondriac i would do myself the disservice if googling my symptoms i know right not good i would shake and convulse all day at school and i was light headed i made five unnecessary visits to the emergency room in january i had things removed from my body that were harmless i saw  different physicians and they ran tests that proved i was in good physical health but of course i never believed them i would cry when they told them i was fine i did because i was happy and it was a relief but i was also afraid because i knew it wasnt enough for me i was worried they missed something i even lied sometimes about being sick so that i could go to the doctors again couldnt smile or talk or eat or breathe right i went to sleep tired because my days were a battle with anxiety i had my first real unconscious anxiety attack when i awoke several times one night one month ago with a rapid heart rate and fast breathing my mind was racing a mile a minute and i couldnt stop it i wasnt sure i even started it it was the first time i couldnt control the physical symptoms of my anxiety i had decided that from then on my battle against anxiety would not be a loss i was through with this madness i was put on lexapro escitalopram and my anxiety has improved so much i am so relieved to have my life back i didnt explain everything about my situation but those are the big details my life and personality were ruined by my declining mental health and now i am back to being me i am back to being optimistic and kind i dont cry anymore because to be honest i dont have much of a reason i hope this inspires people like me who are suffering to seek help and be honest with your physicians take it one step at a time it will get better  have a better day,3.0
27471,stlsmooth  thats me,2.0
27472,stingers win in plymouth ,0.0
27473,is in the garden i love the cool wind ,0.0
27474,im a sad boy rn ,2.0
27475,will shop for labels while those ladies lay and wait for love uh go fergie ,0.0
27476,myweakness praline pecan ice cream over warm apple piemmmmmmm ,0.0
27477,fallwinter quarter worst times ever for my mental health im in a good place now and im glad my efforts are affirmed by ppl who love me,0.0
27478,happy because net is fast again ,0.0
27479,dvd of  hitchcock moviesive seen quotmarniequot quotrebeccaquot and  more to gomarnie was the best sean connery is wonderful ,0.0
27480,off to make a youtube video in the park ,0.0
27481,i have no friends no really i cant laugh with someone cant hug to someone the people i care about doesnt give a shit about me well im pretty fucked up,3.0
27482,so sad to leave chicago and return to real life ,2.0
27483,a whole day to study again ,2.0
27484,there is no help im hundreds of miles from my family online courses are deteriorating whats left of my mental state i cant stop cutting myself and i havent been able to bring myself to eat or leave my bed in  days i wake up everyday disappointed im still alive i put myself in the hospital before the crisis began because i tried to drink myself to death the hospital gave me a list of  numbers to call and over the last few weeks ive gradually worked up the courage to call all of them but none have worked thats the truth isnt it there isnt help for me or for anyone no one is going to reach inside my twisted head and fix whats wrong the only person that can help me is me and im sorry to say i dont give a shit about myself anymore i cant even muster the courage to kill myself let alone save myself i hate everything about myself my face my voice my name everything  i know what youll say well you said you have family you should reach out i dont know how to tell them i want to die my family isnt exactly financially stable anyway how are they supposed to afford treatment i sure as hell cant  im so tired and im sorry if youve read this far i want to be normal but ive just realized that there is no help for me,3.0
27485,my allergies are kickin my butt with so many animals here   gotta catch my nose,2.0
27486,nobodys textin me back  grrrr,2.0
27487,rt pudseylabour i am delighted to pledge support for people with mental health problems in line with minds manifesto httpstcow,0.0
27488,feliciaday thanks for the linky  cant get into it though uk bound here laws and all that ,2.0
27489,   it wasnt actually meant for you guys i just tweeted it and read what you guys were upto and it just fell into context haha,0.0
27490,revrunwisdom if i had cable id be watching it too ,0.0
27491,whenever faced with the choice to pee or make it to the train on time i always choose the train ,2.0
27492,sad nibba hours ,1.0
27493,photowowdotcom oh nodid i miss the opportunity  ,2.0
27494,i really need help and i dont know how to get it howdyi live in a relatively small town cody wy  i have been doing very badly unable to function and overwhelmed with depression and anxiety  i have written letters to the hospital here and in a neighboring town half an hour away  the only thing i can get is an appointment with a primary care physician who dont seem to care  i ask if there is stronger medication and they just tell me i need to see a psychiatrist and blow me off  i have been asking for help for months and just getting worse  edit i have insurance but im going to lose my job soon because of this,3.0
27495,blueeyedcat its not there we gotta make it there ,0.0
27496,bluishdayz i bet it is to bad i am stuck at work ,2.0
27497,budjette how about quotobjects may appear smaller than they actually arequot lmao ,0.0
27498,have you seen jake shears latest music video httpstcokzuhcjgtsu,2.0
27499,trenchvlnyl its hard being an extrovert with crippling anxiety,2.0
27500,the photo they used  stop its sad ☹️,2.0
27501,etsob i just realized i am on my way to baltimore then   but you should definitely see if you can go  it looks good,2.0
27502,flu amp sore throataint fun ,2.0
27503,triratnai i wait for inspiration too  it cant be forced ,0.0
27504,tripleb we will definitely have to fix that ,0.0
27505,i lied ,0.0
27506,i  the dentis my teeth really hurt  i  braces,2.0
27507,i missed harpers island tonight  stupid global tv,2.0
27508,poochman love you too pooch ,0.0
27509, ok  dat sucks,2.0
27510,could do with some new music recommendations so long as its on spotify ,0.0
27511,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,2.0
27512,these lines of lightning mean were never alone ,0.0
27513,chillin with the grents in nc and watchin the tony awards ,0.0
27514,up and ready to work off in the sunshine drop flo at the bus stop and then going to try and be happy happy in work ,0.0
27515,i have a confession i am in love with mgiraudofficial like you guys didnt know haha ,0.0
27516,jawar whats up i loved your video on facebook good stuff ,0.0
27517,just talked to my sil trying to get her ready for doctor appt tomw to get results of lymphoma biopsy i wish so much i could be there ,2.0
27518,goingflying thanks for the followfriday happy flyday  i like to follow you too ,0.0
27519,negative experience with therapist  what can i do better for the next time i used to go to the therapist but it was a long process and somewhere along the line i did not feel comfortable i felt like the therapist only cared about the money and gave me the feeling that i am awkward i need therapy my dad tells me that and my brother also told me that the first time i went to a therapist i made a big list of my problems and i thought i could talk about those problems with the therapist i wrote down that i was watching to many adultmovies i was  back then the therapist glimpsed at the piece of paper the first meeting was to check if therapy was needed it was clear that he was trying to avoid this point on the paper when i confronted him on that by saying i also watch too much porn and i feel sad because i dont have a girl that i love he quickly nod said something with a blushed face and dismissed me then it took  months until they found a therapist for me we talked but i couldnt create a bond i felt like just another appointment for this woman i talked with her about my crush and it was very awkward i explained her why i felt inferior and why i just couldnt take the plunge well in the end of the day i felt like some kind of raper i finally figured that a psychologist is not a relationship advisor i dont blame her for that but do you know the game gta v there was a main charachter who would also see his psychologist occasionaly the psychologist was just thinking about the money he would earn i also felt like that she gave me a stack of paper after our third appointmend that i should fill in so she would get her paycheck from that day on i never visited this placemy questions are what can i do to avoid this awkward feeling when i go to a psychologisthow should i react when i just feel like a numberof course there is some professinal distance but what should i do if i fee´l like the psychologist looks down on mei really need therapy i started to watch porn in public if i get busted they will throw me out from my college i also want to do something about my confidence issues i feel sad because i have no partner i have always bitter thoughts creeping up in my brain i often dispise people around me and how superficial they are i feel like someday all this frustration will accumulate one day and i will hurt somebody i have no friends and i cant approach them,3.0
27520,phew skipped  classes  good day conan ftw,0.0
27521,needs a gulp of milk and some cookies but i shall watch what i eat now  sayang naman weights na pe ko if it wont pay off lol,0.0
27522,today i turned  and cried like i never had in over  years to preface things im happily married and have a  year old who means the world to mebut ive been feeling lonely for a long time  i dont have any friends as i dont know how to be a friend  im also an introvert and want to be a lone in quiet for long periods of timetoday i turned   the only call i got was my mom wishing me a happy birthday  my wife and son even said it to me  part of the problem though is i cant remember the last time i had a real party with friends and family  ive always felt like no one has ever cared about me and honestly ever willnow my family right now is very poor  i havent been able to go to the big e or any of the renaissance fairs that happen this month  i havent been able to for a long time now  i would love to go there with just my family but cant  i decided to just settle for a cheap game that i could play and even then it wasnt possiblebut what got me the most was my son raided his piggy bank went out with his mother and bought me a bag of candy with his own money  just that set me off amd since then i havent been able to stop crying  im even crying just remembering thatits things like that that keep me going but its getting harder and harder with each paasing daythis monday i also learned that my dad has partial kidney failure and im honestly scared of what might happeni cant talk to my son about this because i dont want to put it onto him and my wife has her own things shes dealing with amd tends to steer away from serious conversationsi dont know what to do any more some days to be honest,3.0
27523,just remembered im gonna be homeless as of july  ,2.0
27524,lets keep up the pressure,1.0
27525,herheartsmiles im literally falling asleep at the computer  need bedneed restneed sleeplt sleep is a pillar of health,2.0
27526,ach ich liebe princess protection program ,0.0
27527,छान आता  दिवस स�ट�टि ऑफिस च टेंशन नहि  दवस फक�त मा��या हॉटेल मधे बसनार अरे हो गदि पन servicing ला टाकायचि आहे ,0.0
27528,found my cds  im gonna go play some guitar hero and wii sports then its off to bed good night,0.0
27529,okay since this is such a big piece of homework im gonna to a section every day i have got  weeks to do it so it does make sense ,0.0
27530,micamonkey yeah they did but ive been tardy and havent called them yet totally my bad ,2.0
27531,is at home now hoping no more storms come so she can sleep but i think i hear one coming ,2.0
27532,help  ok tldr my life is a cycle of misery thats been steamrolling through my happiness for the past  yearsok so for the background im a  asian kid not to bad looking has friends popular funny smart lazy thoughtful nice caring loving and stupid sounds like i have it all right nawi have mild depression i went to a psychologist a few months ago after i had gotten a  suspension from school and had to go see one that was the first night i cried in a while we talked about a lot of stuff and she helped me get a lot of things off my chest after a few weeks of seeing her she told me that there were signs of me having mild depressiondepersonalization disorderbipolarso that was cool but off topic since the beginning of  grade ive changed a lot each  month period i would do this thing where i would meet a new persons and get to know them really well and just become great friends and connect with them a lot and then something would happen and then theyd start distancing themselves from me and id confront them and theyd lie to me and then tell people secrets that id trusted them with this has happened to many times to count and is honestly just great ynow during  grade i was weird i was the stereotypical fat kid in the movies nerdy greasy wearing stained shirts uncomfortable hugs accidentally farts etc very gross middle of the year i take a complete  i still dont know why to this day from then on i graduate from elementary and go to middle school i had  racist teachers who would harass me in class every day calling me ching chong and grading my papers different from all the other students but i persevered  grade had ended with a group of friends who were barely together in witch one of the girls like me for some reason only god would know and i didnt pick up the signs so it was whatever  grade rolls around and i lose literally all my friends i start sitting with new kids typical wallflowers but still that was the first time i had genuinely smiled during that year i get to know all of them very cool smart people i learn all theyre secrets and parental struggles etc etc one of the girls likes me however one of the guys in the gorup asks her out and then tells him she likes me friend group breaks with him blaming me we makeup girl moves away whatever i meet a kid named ethan hated me through the school year but a few months before summer rolled around we bonded that was the best sumer of my life wed do classic teenager things steal smoke drink party etc school rolls around everything is good new group of friends new kid named kodi i helped settle his depression with etc etc etc etc ethan plans on leaving his girl for another girl whod touch his dick i tell his girlfriend becuase me nad her friends shes devastated tells the freind friend blames me for that mess cuts me out of his life everyone in the firned gorup sides with him and now im slowly realising that i hate everyone in that group and im jsut so guh yknowthis is a really compact version of my life but you get the gist id get in trouble make people laugh i was a clown and people respected me but were to afriad of getting judged to ever talk to me no matter how kind i was to everybody no matter all the tiems ive talked to complete strangers about their problems and let them get over it themselves god and to top it off i fell in love with this one girl who lives in florida i can only see once every year so thats nice moral of the story im a mess and i dont know how ill ever find a stable life every time somthing good happens it all just gets taken away no matter how i treat the situation im a positvie kind of person but its just im tired of losing everything then gaining it then losing it all over agian over and over and over just pummled not to mention my dad dosnt love me and my brothers dont give a shit about me and my mom who has menapause yelling at me everyday for the littlest shit even though i do all the chores and cooking in the house and guhi just dont know what to do thatll change this cycle to break it i do new things meet new people learned how to play  differnt instruments learned how to improv i sing really well im learning how to box rn etc etc i do all these things but at the end of the fucking day im still a sad sack of shit whos grateful for what he has but still hates the shit out of it i just want someone to tell me somthing that isnt just pity or some bullshit life advice that boils down to well just keep being you,3.0
27533,jdiaztx morning lovehave s good day its rainin here now ,2.0
27534,why is it so hard to smile this happened to me today every sunday my grandmother comes to have breakfast with me my mother and my sister grandma is the only one who is actually perceptive there so she is able to see that im not having the best time of my lifeeverytime she sees me like this she says life is to beautiful to be lived with sadness smile then i proceed to fake a smilebut honestly everytime i fake a smile i feel horrible not only bc i feel like i am lying to the people around me but also bc i dont think i can genuinely smile,3.0
27535,rt  juvereal  do youve anxiety no 😭 ,2.0
27536,can someone pls throw me a doggie bone cheese burger and or a damn pickle anything will do at this point ,2.0
27537,this hockey game is not going the way it is supposed to go     the penguins need to get it together,2.0
27538,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
27539,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
27540,oh im so happy its rainig again ,0.0
27541,im not sure if i have depression or not in these dire times i have never felt more miserable in my entire life than i have done in the past few weeks im not sure if its depression or just being really sad my dad suffers from anxiety issues so maybe i inherited it i know the internet isnt the best place for heavy questions like this but im hoping any of you can help,3.0
27542,at home chillinreally bummed ,2.0
27543,my ankle is busted up  now i cant play in my tournament in portland this weekend thanks earth for beating my ankle up  ,2.0
27544,nichiwot i believe that guyripley would put it in beyonce too or possibly victoria o and i do love you nicci lol ima namedropper ,0.0
27545, hi thanks for the tweets last night you were very enertaining ,0.0
27546,ladyecclesxx what and yes i will make sure there is at least  ,0.0
27547,do i measure my responses to the unknown with stress and selflimiting judgment or do i consider my response with ,1.0
27548,mmajors oh no i am sorry boo on that ,2.0
27549,shawssistance im so sorry that it didnt work for you but dont lose hope i know you dont wanna wait and contin ,1.0
27550,just finished my last day of votech i cant wait until i go back next year i sure am going to miss it this summer ,2.0
27551,switchfingers not cool p    smiley and sad faces im bored this is why im updating wierd things,0.0
27552,i have a freakin headache  eeeeekkk these pills i got  elysianfieldz should help,2.0
27553,why does everything in the entire world give me anxiety pls dont,2.0
27554,witenike thanks for asking about the game ,0.0
27555,aceartinteriors i hear ya ,0.0
27556,looks like the hamester fell off the wheel at jtv  hq  this morning its not working  sadface,2.0
27557,its practically an actual pain at this point i dont know if its just me but its like theres an intangible pain in my head at all times now its definitely still depression but instead of just being a feeling somewhere in my head its transformed to an actual pain im not just tired im sapped of energy completely im not just depressed im borderline suicidal far more often than not that kind of thing it never used to be this bad and i dont know if its a common thing or not its not the kind of headache that tylenol will knock out ya know anyone else have that feeling,3.0
27558,and now aqua god im hijacking next fancy a birrov smiths  teach them about good music ,0.0
27559,reckless ouch didnt realize it was the sea you dropped it in salt will prob kill the cuircit board  good luck anyway,2.0
27560,i want to go wakeboarding anyone up for a bike ride tomorrow ,0.0
27561,ang kululit nila forever hahaha eb is really family always my happiness and my stress reliever aldubdeeper ,1.0
27562,exams oh shit oh shit oh shit please wish me good luck it might help arrrrrrr worried ,2.0
27563,transmission gone first day  ,2.0
27564, yes i did thats a sad topic for me haha i am not going to the concert its very far and probably very expensive  ,2.0
27565,الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,2.0
27566,rt taylorndean imagine how easy life is for people who have such normal mental health that they genuinely think the cures for depression,0.0
27567,shaunacland awesome i favourited that update  symmetrical number of updates ftw haha,0.0
27568,so  photography job and then tori will come over and well drink tea and converse about our mediocrity  wellat least my mediocrity,0.0
27569,tbabezz i got work tomorrow ,2.0
27570,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
27571,heading to the pool  my sons been nagging me all morning to go told him well take a pool quotlunch breakquot  ,0.0
27572,ddlovato demi  i love you  youre so cool   just wanted you to know that   god bless you girl,0.0
27573,broke out in hives no idea whyworst thing ever ,2.0
27574,just watched kellie pickler on ellen aw man funny stuff loe both of them ,0.0
27575,awww my heart just broke  even though ive  knew it for ages to have it confirmed is just worst my day is ruined i still love you though,2.0
27576,geography assignment  well at least the tape is funny,2.0
27577,getting some mad deja vu love my ipod sooo much  ,0.0
27578,  rollin thru ga sharing the backseat with lily ,0.0
27579,says anyeong haseyo  ,0.0
27580, tweet tweet tweet quack oops wtf tweet tweet tweet ,0.0
27581, its manageable man thanks for checkin ,0.0
27582,vikassapra if i knew you i would come  sangriiaaaaaaa,0.0
27583,not doin a thing except for reading feeling like a geek these last few weeks  need to hook up with my bro and go out,0.0
27584,rt spencerkk give me shelter give me peace  anxiety ,0.0
27585,sherrieshepherd have a great time never went to mine either   but i do believe hoffman estates hs is located in hoffman estates il,2.0
27586,forum theatre about mental health in highereducation  ,2.0
27587,i wanna go home ,2.0
27588,gauze is annoying and i think the numbness is going away ,2.0
27589,frankihkay i know i am  but i got to get trashed in brooklyn and that makes it worth it right right also see you soon zomogz,2.0
27590,i really want that damned  prius   ,2.0
27591,hardrockhotellv why cant gavin be there in july ,2.0
27592,ruckercb whatcha up to today i should totz sneak out tonight and have fun with you because otherwise aint nothin gonna happen today ,2.0
27593,our waitress any plans for the rest of the day not really probably just a few anxiety attacks,1.0
27594, jajajajajaja ando sad amix,2.0
27595,toofastoofreaky guess yur not  ,2.0
27596,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
27597,my shitty limewire is not working ,2.0
27598,i dont know what to do this is my first ever post on reddit im using a throwaway account forgive me if i mess up on the formatting or anything else  im  years old and i know this is a broad statement but alot has happened to me in my life ive made alot of mistakes as well ive done things that would make me a horrible person and i suffer from mental illness although ive never had the resources to get proper help today is one of those days where i wonder if its worth it to go on and i just feel like a loser i recently quit my job at a factory because it was a toxic environment and the boss was extremely mean and hr does nothing im living with my ex whom is my ex because our relationship was toxic and abusive my family is extremely religious independent fundamentalist baptisits look it up if you arent familiar with it and live  of state i cant tell them anything that  happened to me or with my life because theyll want to control me i had an extremely extremely abusive childhood to them my feelings dont matter and everything thats happened to me in my life happened because i wasnt right with god and as a child because i was a sinful and rebellious kid  im not supposed to have feelings that arent anything but positive and loving while i love them because they are my parents  i dont talk to them very much and it makes me feel guilty because they are older in their  im number  of  kids there are huge age gaps between the older siblings all in  and  except my little brother who is  but is their dream child because hes going to school to be a pastor i have nobody in my family to talk to i have no friends i was homeschooled and got married at  and moved out of state thinking i was going to have a better life with my ex things turned very ugly very very fast   because he was not who i thought he was  we couldnt date or be alone prior to marriagelike the duggars so i didnt know him i was also ill prepared for life and the real world i dont drive im terrified i left him after  years i had a job and an apartment but he still gave me rides to work because he lived close and i paid him then i moved in with my ex and only female best friend i lost my job she had issues herself and there was a fight she hit me and i left because i had nowhere to go cue my ex now im living with him i have no money  no education cant drive  no friends or family to talk to  i havent been diagnosed officially but i think i have  extreme ptsd i will have rage and panic attacks and my mind never ever slows down enough for me to focus and pull through any situation im sinking deeper and deeper and i dont know what else to do nowso even though im extremely scared because the internet isnt always the kindest of places i thought id say what the hell and give this a shot and ask for advice  or just support people that will listen and not judgei have tried making friends with people around me and have had terrible experiences people judging me because of my situation telling me i just need to lighten up laughing at me because im so messed up and call me stupid  people just getting close to me to try to have sex i havent been able to  find one healthy minded and genuinely kind person who wants to just be my friend without expecting anythingthanks  for listening ,3.0
27599,my anxiety is v bad rn and i feel like shit i thought i was doin so well,1.0
27600, design with humor escape key on the run ,0.0
27601,why am i the one whose got all the updates ,2.0
27602,luannschindler isnt hugging a cat an oxymoron or at least a painful attempt im off to get bandaids so i can hug the cat ,0.0
27603,i forgot to eat cookies at the barn today  travesty,2.0
27604,feels somewhat special ,0.0
27605,jeffreyfbaby i wanna be high ,2.0
27606,im so glad im not the only sad tweeter out there tonight,0.0
27607,s ghds have died  sparks everywhere ,2.0
27608,its cause i was greedy trying to get  gigs in there  such are the wages of sin ,0.0
27609,is working her last day at kop   kinda sad,2.0
27610,damn back to work tomorrow lame why cant i be on vacation still ,2.0
27611,i wish i can go on youtube ,2.0
27612,i just dont care about anything anymore  in august of last year my grandpa was backing out of his driveway to go get dinner from a restaurant then my dog came up to his truck and accidentally walked right behind the wheel of his truck i was four or five feet away while i watched my dog get ran over in front of me the only feeling i felt was complete shock it took me about fifteen minutes to actually feel any emotion since then ive just stopped caring about anything because the worst thing that could ever happen already happened in a traumatizing way now the only thing i really worry about is our new dog when we drop him off at my grandparents house i hate that we dont leave him at a pet hotel or something i came here to ask if its an early sign of depression ,3.0
27613,maddisondesigns cool  i might have to check it out then ,0.0
27614,davidgregory on nj transit  you have my sympathy ,0.0
27615,deciding to get help for my anxiety and depression ,1.0
27616,peterdaou you are a deluded sad individual suffering from trump derangement syndromethat is why you are a communist democrat,2.0
27617,i got a replacement phone and now all my text messages and call history are gone  i am sad,2.0
27618,insooutso some of us only have one of those choices  thanks for ruining my friday,2.0
27619,i hate having to lie and im terrible at it but i do it anyway or at least i feel like im compelled to anyway its just the guilt like its eating away at whatever is left of my soul and i just cant stand that feeling i usually dont consider myself to be a depressed person and am mostly genuinely positive if not happy and its not that im lying to a particular person that its somehow someone elses fault no  ive started to get ashamed of myself of not being able to keep my work not doing anything to continue my higher studies basically not being functional for the last few months being afraid that if i take a decision itll just be the wrong one again so i lied to mom about my dad after promising to never do that after bitching about how much of an honest goodnatured person i am basically throwing a fit and fighting with her that she takes my being truthful to her for granted which in itself is probably a big hypocritical lie on my partthen today i had the chance to come clean but i was so afraid of admitting that i had been keeping a secret from her for so long i ended up with a smaller lie just to cushion the blow so to speakmy mom and dad are separated and dont talk to each other at all and lately hes been wanting to come back to into our lives i live with my mom and support her financially as much as i can on an english degree in my country sons are supposed to take care of their parents but my dad  after he made a mess of things investing in the wrong stock lost all of his life savings wouldnt reconcile with my mom and felt like it was more civil to just leave so he took off hes still a great dad imo just not a great husband but hes lonely and i miss him too anyway so my mom made it a point to never take any money from him ever again but last week when i met up with him he told me to take some cash for myself just to ease things around the rent its the sort of thing my mom wouldve thought was a personal insult to her but after all my dad went through i couldnt say no to him so i took it and i lied to mom about it and  well as an adult i shouldnt even be worried about this but i do and i feel like a big hypocritetoday after my medical bills went through the roof i had to be rushed to the er and mom was there dads out of town when we came back i handed mom the cash hed given me and honestly i couldnt tell her that i had it with me all this time i ended up telling her he wired it over just nowshe hasnt said a word about that yet i think she can see through it its fucking eating me up inside and it shouldnt for the record its been  years since i finished college graduated summa cum laude with double majors  i kept my first fulltime job for  around the same time the woman i wanted to marry decided to call it quits because apparently i was never there for her then hoping to get a better opportunity and to prep for applying for ma and to give time to my writing a bs excuse now i see it i ended up working parttime at the same place with more flexible hours anyway thanks for reading this far if youve read this far  i appreciate just venting it and getting it out there,3.0
27620,out of bed finally and watching bgt ,0.0
27621, words later its bedtime ,0.0
27622,i hate drop down menus ,2.0
27623,is it immoral to kill myself i know my parents would be deeply upset if i was to go through with my suicidal plans a couple friends and more distant family might be slightly upset too but they would get over it quickly i have been unwaveringly and intensely suicidal in the  months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me my urges just become stronger with time and i dont wish to live with this pain anymore i know i could resist my suicidal urges if i forced myself to but i dont really wish to i sincerely believe ending my life is the most rational and reasonable reaction to my circumstances if i was to stay alive longer i would be miserable and either succumb to my urges or live a turbulent life of utter degeneracy i want to die so badly but i cannot cope with all the guilt that comes with thinking about it how could i hurt my parents and take away their only child like that am i selfish for wanting to die when i know it would hurt them even though im in so much pain i assume then they would be in i dont think ive ever done anything selfish or unempathetic in my entire life nor do i think i have ever done anything immoral and the idea of it crushes me how can the first immoral thing i ever think of doing be of such magnitude im so stuck over the last  or so months ive genuinely obsessed over suicide fanatically my entire perception of my own identify and purpose is essentially that i am someone who will end their own life yet it conflicts so badly with who i always thought i was a person who always does whatever i can to be empathetic to others and make them as happy possible i simply refuse to live beyond the end of this year but i also refuse to let go of who i am to ruin my chances at ever being content to fuck everything up with my loving parents i cant believe im planning to do this i hate it so much its the worst possible thing i could ever imagine but being alive is just unbearable sorry if this was kinda a mess but i just wanted to say something somewhere this has been torturing me for the last few days in my head thanks for reading and i appreciate any responses you guys have but please dont be too mean ,3.0
27624,gooood morning everyone  im in love with a fairytale even though it hurts i dont care if i lose my mindlala ,0.0
27625,rockbaby your addicted to twitter  even whilst waiting in the queue you was twittering a way  but its all good p,0.0
27626,wish i had some jelly bellys mmm my favorite        ,0.0
27627,back to work  stupid holiday homework ,2.0
27628,peterfacinelli i cant believe they changed the green shirt kid he was awsome ,2.0
27629,yourspecialv i miss you  saw victor and laura and other people this weekend not the same without you,2.0
27630,motleyhippie damp my brain was swearing  and it was bitty thats the best word,0.0
27631,finally back in the burbs i miss delavin ,2.0
27632,i want some ice cream i like chocolate chip and cookie dough ice cream its really good in my tummy  lol whats ur favorite,0.0
27633,  pf changs goodnesss ,0.0
27634,hungryi totally need some food right now aww tomorrow weekends over  thats a mess,2.0
27635,erictulga they were speaking directly to you huh ,0.0
27636,bronzethumb thank you ,0.0
27637,rt bphopemag the ultimate guide to social anxiety and bipolar disorder  bipolar mentalhealth,0.0
27638,got  drink bajigur yesterday now longing  sekoteng ,2.0
27639,ive had enough things have not been going well these few weeks and i just feel like ive reached the point in which  ive just had enough its like things are going wrong left and right nothing im doing is working or making anything better im just tired and i dont want to keep going  nor keeping up the facade that everything is fine or im okay around my family anymore i feel like this it truly it for me i dont want to continue going on like this im done,3.0
27640,mrskutcher thats pretty much the price you pay for fame ,2.0
27641,is trying to get her round using twitter  a twitter virgin ,0.0
27642,back from barcelona ,0.0
27643,amaoto oh fuck  happened to my paypal too be persistent to get your money back,2.0
27644,stunning defeat  i  was beaten by mathbou  ,2.0
27645,no friends loneliness hurts hi i am  not happy sharing my age and do not have many friends  that i never see i have friends at school thats what they think we just hangout since we have a couple periods together i dont consider them friends they are fake i have yet to find people who i can relate to but nobody wants to be friends with the annoying kid i am an extrovert but the saying it is always the ones that seem the happiest seems to strongly fit i would really like some tips to happiness but a subreddit about depression doesnt really seem like it can give advice like that not sure but maybe,3.0
27646,i dont wanna be anybodies stress anymore probably best i just stay my distance,0.0
27647,theweene oooooh you can email a complaint using their free wifi ,0.0
27648,nikkibender im so poor decided im getting a bikni anyway i like this jets one it will be like  all up though sooo poor ,2.0
27649,hergracethecat you look beautiful no matter what stripey pokadot you beautiful how is mister pepeblackcat i miss him ,2.0
27650,malaikaluv yay for cookies you have to tell me how emily and marlieke liked them ,0.0
27651,where did the day go pheeeewww it went fast ,0.0
27652,just woke up amp i feel like shit i hate being sick ,2.0
27653,maritzasylvia  flylady last day for my school amp slmar  most schools near me go for another  weeks amp varies across the country ,0.0
27654,hewitt beats rafa in exhibition not looking good for  rafa   ,2.0
27655,dont wanna cry  but the seniors are out there graduatingampits breakin my heartbut im home ,2.0
27656,i fucking hate my life right now people i though were my friends just dont respond to me anymore they dodge me whenever i ask to hamg out flake out on plans we made and leave me on read even when i try to talk to them about something serious  i hate school i have no motivation for it anymore i have a year and a half till i graduate high school and i have absolutely no fucking clue what i want to do afterwards  i mightve gotten a d in history last term and if i actually did my mom is gonna be replacing my phone with a flip phone for the rest of this  months even though most the ppl i talk to only communicate through fb messenger or snapchat my mom suddenly has gotten completely untrusting of me even though i did nothing wrong  i used to be able to say im going to hang out with someone from school and shed be fine but now she asks who their number what were gonna do even though most the time we figure that out after we meet up  she constantly yells at me anytime she sees me on my phone saying im on it all the fucking time like what else am i supposed to be doing while im at home theres nothing to do except watch tv or play video gamesi dont think i got a d in history because i know i didnt write a bad enough final essay to earn a d but my teacher has my grade at that rn so im on academic probation until i get it changed or for the rest of the term if thats my actual grade  fuck this my life was just starting to get good i was making friends finally felt like my social circle was really expanding i was going out more trying more things etc and now its like everyone suddenly fucking hates me and i might be grounded from doing anything for the next  months because of one bad grade even though my mom never did anything like that when my brother got multiple ds and even fs in high school its like just when i was getting a life its getting yanked out from under me and theres absolutely nothing i can fucking do about it,3.0
27657,jessicaveronica you so did see my tweets i wrote ps  love x,0.0
27658,i hate being sick  its just so lamei dont get to go out,2.0
27659,badbanana your neighbor watching sounds like that movie  tom hanks is trying to figure out what his neighbor is up to,0.0
27660,do you also pace  or walk to and fro  and think uncontrollably  i am depressed and do not feel like doing anything except one thing that is i think about alternate history timelines and keep making up a story in my mind for hours and hours on end ironing out the details thinking out how history will unfold if there will be wars what will be domestic politics like what will be technology be like etci am so lost in my thoughts that i feel i cannot control them even when i have tons of work to do i just ignore it in fact i am failing in subjects because of my stubborn refusal to do any work i am just not able to focus on studies for more than  minutes before my mind takes a flight of fancy sometimes related to topics that i have to study currently i am bupropion and risperidone,3.0
27661,yeah and im working on indiscribable stars  my new fiction in box disney ,0.0
27662,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
27663,feel incompletebut i dont know how to change whats up  and its not cause  isnt trending topic as far as i know anyway,2.0
27664,emailcopywriter nice to hear youve been sharing at urekaweekend  on what salvation ,0.0
27665,ddlovato   hey you are cute but i see so much more ,0.0
27666,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
27667, ugh daaaarn  lol,2.0
27668,is wondering why anybody subjects themselves to morning shifts ,2.0
27669,someone needs to come out with a song that goes i love the whole world ,0.0
27670,rt bbylychee my depression and my anxiety ganging up on me while im out trying to have a good time ,2.0
27671, i wish i could my  player is in the car so i cant put it on it for the ride up ,2.0
27672, awwww bay u tired already  stick it out bay ull be oku my princess sooooo i got faith in you,2.0
27673,went to play putt putt in surfers last night with friends its now confirmed that i suck at putt putt ,0.0
27674,rt  my therapist when i finally show up for an appointment after weeks of cancelling and neglecting my mental health http,1.0
27675,silversurfer  you made my night  thanks  all the compliments truly    ,0.0
27676,what to do my bf is depressed he has yet to seek help though he said that he plans on it hes gotten injured recently which means he cant do some of the hobbies he was doing before he is in school and not working and wont leave his room for days at a time when i try to make plans with him he never agrees to them he told me he needs space and hes very stressed out i expressed to him that this makes me feel as though he does not want me in his life anymore he has reassured me that this is not the case it is important to note that he and i were together before for a while but broke up because he said he needed space and couldnt find it in himself to leave his house more than once a month we got back together a year after breaking up and i feel like its the same thing all over again except hes not breaking up with me because a he doesnt want to lose me again or b hes afraid that ill be mad at him for wasting my time by getting back with me just to break up with me again im at a loss i dont even know if im looking for advice or just other people who have had similar experiences its so hard for me to not take it personally when he gets like this and idk if its because i need more patience and understanding or if im truly being torn apart emotionally i imagine that whatever im going through is not as hard as what hes going through hes very sweet and we get along great but im distressed at how little we see each other and how little he wants to speak to mepeople in general  any respectful and constructive feedback will be appreciated thank you ,3.0
27677,im so freakin tired rite now ,2.0
27678,just finished most of the endings for katawa shoujo im sad ,2.0
27679,is confusedcom at this twitter business ,0.0
27680,rjwalnuts lol idk yetill find out tomorrow ,0.0
27681,my mum used  tell me that when the ice cream van played the tune it ment there was no ice cream left ,2.0
27682,i wish i was herbing so i could help out the craft faire more ,2.0
27683,i dont know what to do when i got into my freshman year of highschool junior now i noticed that my grades were dropping i was never an a student but i was content with what i had towards the end of sophomore year i started to feel less and less motivated to do anything anytime i didnt hand in an assignment a letter would go home to my parents i would get into big fights with my mom and my dad would blame my failures on videogames which i enjoyed at the time nowadays i have multiples fs in school i get home and argue with my mom my dad continues to blame it all on everything i like stuff i used to have a passion for have now just become arbitrary things i do to try and bring myself away from facing reality but i cant even do that right because i keep switching focus between everything in my room i have siblings and friends who i know care about me but i tell them im ok because i dont trust them enough to help me since it doesnt seem as important as other peoples problems i have no motivation to do any work or do anything the lower my grades get the more i want to off myself or just leave and see where i end upi know its cliche but sometimes i wish i was never born,3.0
27684,pablohoneys shoulda brought the party over here along with guy soonnnnn ,2.0
27685,why is twitter always worse after they fix it ,2.0
27686,the first day of classes wasnt really that boring  but i still miss summer ,0.0
27687,andraeramone i couldve told you abt audiopornor some form of it last weekbut thats ovr for me now ,2.0
27688,omg ihy but ly at the same time,0.0
27689,derekfred coolhow does your limo look like  have a great holiday,0.0
27690,so much to do before chicago last day of work til  then watching greys with jackie and sam ,0.0
27691,teenagers  reaserchers are totally become mad they have lost their minds 😂😂😂😋 by alot of using their minds ,2.0
27692,home ill today man came to fix cable box slightly embarrased when he just plugged it in ,2.0
27693,does any celebrities follow any of there fans i wonder ,2.0
27694, im knackered tho got college at  ,2.0
27695,lolmonsters lol thats great  for you,0.0
27696,even though im not interested in this season i hope jampk arent gonna divorce  poor kids,2.0
27697,lakeffectkid haha really its now my bg on myspace xdd i love it ,0.0
27698,lostluna but i got dibs on sulu ,2.0
27699,csinews   i guess i calculated wrong ,2.0
27700,today is deadlines deadlines and even more deadlines ,2.0
27701,is already disliking work and her finishin times wont get home til   x,2.0
27702,just had a burrito and it wasnt that great ,2.0
27703,thinks its a great afternoon for golf maybe class will finish early ,0.0
27704,going out for dinner  hvn had a proper meal with the family in a long while,0.0
27705,hope you all having a fun tight and shiny wednesday ,0.0
27706,good morning god looking forward to hanging out today ,0.0
27707,januarycrimson sorry babe  my fam annoys me too thankfully theyre asleep right now muahaha evil laugh,2.0
27708,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
27709,marcelz yes it is because she dont understand english ,0.0
27710,just got back from the cricket wow had an absolute blast did you see me on tv hahaha am so wanting to go to another game ,0.0
27711,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
27712,slept awful cause of allergies had a very disturbing dream cant believe i have to get up for work already ,2.0
27713,lost this month has been a mess ive made the worst decisions ever and the consequences are so difficult to deal with my family is a catastrophe my parents might be splitting up and home hasnt felt like a less of a home until now i dont know what i am doing i feel like im spinning im trying to hold on and keep going but i feel like i want to disappear i feel like i want to leave everyone and just cry for some time i wish it was easier to just live sometimes i wish life was way easier i hate that the world is something thats difficult that feels like its out to get you i just want to catch a break for once nothing in my life has ever gone smoothly not ever when things are going good they come back  worse im sinking into my depression and my anxiety has been making me feel like i cant breathe all day i just want to disappear i just want to be better i just want normal,3.0
27714,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
27715,   results in  seconds   results in more than a second  u just cant beat google ,0.0
27716,rt kasikili dont be sad because sad spelled backwards is das and das not good,1.0
27717, being a lowly student cant afford to buy any games at the minute  itll probably have to wait until over summer  enjoy ,2.0
27718,im pretty bumed i has like none friends or followers on this ,2.0
27719,mikegentile hang out this weekend ,0.0
27720,make a wish ,0.0
27721,mellowd dont even tripi got em both  just shattered the iphone face ,2.0
27722,broken dreams and financial illusions the secret depression of black men  via blackvoices,2.0
27723,bronwen sweet  on a totally different subject you and  make a cracking team surely theres projects in the works,0.0
27724,poor bastard im well hated   sigh lol,2.0
27725,my vacation is over time to get back to work ,2.0
27726,im in a cage fuck why is it so difficult for me to write out how i feel or even talk about it i feel like my mind is stuck in a cage im screaming on the inside but im stuck there locked up i dont want to be stuck there i dont want to feel so alone anymore i want to reach out and meet new people but its almost like im holding myself back im terrified im scared i feel like im breaking my own heart and im not sure how much more it can take i cant remember a time i havent dealt with depression and i just want to breathe,3.0
27727,theres so much happening at once im anxiety,1.0
27728,sitting at work waiting for backup to get here amp take over my shift we all knew this would happen i miss enjoying my job ,2.0
27729,curtain closing time again ,2.0
27730,grabyourfork chocolatesuze hee hee yeah you should put them all in a bucket and take it to the movies ,0.0
27731,postpartum depression  see the top ten best seller books at ,1.0
27732,now looking at a picture of a apple mac i want one noww ,2.0
27733, thanks just following my bliss ,0.0
27734,so much built up i miss having someone anyone to vent all my problems to all my feelings because i have so much built up right now that i feel that im literally going insane i hate spending like a cliché but of course alot of this is about a girl the girl that i first fell in love with  years ago and it still grows stronger even though she hasnt talked to me in a year,3.0
27735,cant work out the pr connection today must be movies ,0.0
27736,nothing new announced yet   kojima mgs nextkojima,2.0
27737,helloo d n missnebrasska ,2.0
27738, no problem those pics are amazing i cant imagine what it must be like for those people over there ,2.0
27739,vegasskyy must have been the chirping birds distracting me ,2.0
27740,therealjmac is on twitter timeout he will be back shortly be patient i kno he will be missed ,2.0
27741,shanealan i will try boy cant wait till the benefit though ,0.0
27742,cant read any more legislation  my eyes are tired,2.0
27743,time for bodyworlds  goodbye for now keep happy thoughts and make someone smile today ,0.0
27744,kathdouche awyays mines still red but starting to go brown now d and same im gonna have a lil sunbathe haha ,0.0
27745,another day of wishing i didnt exist maybe one day a miracle will come my way but for now ill just do my best to keep surviving,3.0
27746,im very sore after training ,2.0
27747, lightning and thunder ,2.0
27748,podblack argh that sucks leaving something behind ,2.0
27749,acatinatree lol ok but if you actually create that account i will love to follow it ,0.0
27750,am i the only one who distances themselves from people cause im too scared of hurting myself or them and yet i get in a shit mood when i do so because i never really get close to someone ,3.0
27751,  cast you anxiety on him because he cares for you aldubstopthehate,2.0
27752,midgetmum love beaches in rainy weather  get the wellies and waterproofs on and go for a windy walk fab used to live in w wales ,0.0
27753,in chitown with northern crew ,0.0
27754,lt is trying to run linux on hp  terminal but its a little hard to concentrate    ,0.0
27755,emmamichelle nope when we went to petes i wore the same dress all day ,0.0
27756,alcides great movie ,0.0
27757,my biggest fear is being a disappointment how am i supposed to see a future when the day to day is so hard i dont know why i feel like this i know im loved but i feel like im my own worst enemy i know things have to get better but i cant possibly imagine how all i know is i have to keep going i owe it to everyone who got me this far i cannot be a disappointment to them this pain has to be temporary i just need to keep going and outlast all the bullshit life can throw at me i dont see the end right now but i know its out there i owe it to my family to see this through as im sure they have many times i didnt ask to be here and every day i find myself wishing that i werent i dont know how much would be different im not george bailey and ive never saved anyones life i can barely save my own from myself i dont even know why the hell im writing this aside from the even greater pain that keeping it all inside causes hopefully this passes or at least i become stronger so the weight doesnt crush me last night i realized the biggest source of my pain is the fear of being a disappointment although thats not the entirety of it my mind has always been way too active and it runs through every future scenario possible for some reason even in the scenarios where i end up successful it still is hard to envision myself being happy maybe thats because in those scenarios im still disappointing myself,3.0
27758,i want to be myself but ill try to keep it short so here we goits killing me i just wanna be myself and become the person that i want to be but people around me everything around me the place where i lived its holding me backif i be myself most people would hatedisilike me and think that im weird or just fucked upand other things is that i grew up in a religious environment but the truth is im an agnostic well if i tell people the truth well yea itll only get things worseis it wrong if you want to be yourself and believe what you want to believeits killing me,3.0
27759, graders are having depression and anxiety people i wish that our generation is more kind and willing to help more than shame,1.0
27760,midnight shower is always works for me nite all off to bed now ,0.0
27761,handball final   ,0.0
27762,mrsrjizzle hahai cant find nuthin   on specktra i am ,2.0
27763,what dog is having a toe splint that sounds really funny btw ,0.0
27764,  omg its soo amazing  in two years ill be there promisee ,0.0
27765, i am super upset with the talk of all this foodi still havent been over for dinner  lol,2.0
27766,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
27767,why are the tiny things so horrible today we had to shake hands in gym class with the opposite team i dont like shaking hands so i try to go over to a wall but of course one of the guys everyone likes comes up to me and goesfinalweekend with hand outi dont got hands hiding my hands in my sweateruhm okay then walks awaythen he freaking looked at me every time he walked by and now i feel like a freaking idiot for doing that but i hate shaking hands anyone got advice for things like this because i got a lot of stupid problems that i look back on and just want to die from the stupidity please help its destroying my life,3.0
27768,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
27769,i don think ive ever had a worse nights restughnightmaresand shiveringand lack of sleeping ,2.0
27770,i cried,0.0
27771,ramielemalubay what about me ramiele ,2.0
27772,turns out wearing giant chocolate buttons as monocles isnt a great idea  i got chocolate all over my face ,2.0
27773,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
27774,rt softsebstans do people who dont have an anxiety disorder know how lucky they are like you can just go out and do stuff without get,1.0
27775,off for now ,0.0
27776,mikewike okie dokie ill let u kno prob tmrw ,0.0
27777,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
27778,i dont know how this happens you know what i really hate about depression when youre having an okay day and suddenly you feel this tight feeling in your chest and suddenly youre crying and you try so hard not to but it makes the tears fall even faster you wanna hide or go talk to someone but who is up at this time at night would they even care would they leave once youve spilled your whole person to them i never realized how much i took going out for granted until this fucking virus took over i feel so alone and desperate to make friends no matter how but i just dont know how to do it even behind closed doors my self esteem is shot to shit and i hate myself for iti try to hide deep into hobbies but i know it would be so much fun with someone to share them withi feel like im up to my last thread ya know at this point i dont even care if i get the virus i think i would rather die i dont care anymore i dont mean anything to anyone i just wanna lie here and cry,3.0
27779,sunny hot and im home with a bad cold ,2.0
27780,mommy  daddy  hug me pleeeeeeeeeeease i miss you so bad ,2.0
27781,way too close for comfort to an efficient effective plan for a mortal exit just needing to put this line of thought out there for some fellow humans to read and possibly connect to i dont have therapy for another week and that feels sooo far away this is my first time in therapy and its a combination of very helpful and extremely drainingconfusing ive suffered through different intensities of depression and anxiety since i was about  or  no big deal i thought eventually it will go away and it seemed like it did between the ages of  during that  year time span i was flying high all of the time pretty much i had so many cool projects happening i felt genuine love for everyone and everything i didnt really fantasize about dying anymore and while i felt stressed at times i rarely felt anxious there have been a few other briefer moments in my life where i felt this way too but spotted with periods of depressionsuicidal ideation for good measure turns out i might be a great candidate for some form of bipolar disorder dont know for sure yet me and the therapist are still working on analyzing all of this ill keep you postedso now i have to get to the part that is driving me closer to either insanity or suicide ive been hearing some fucked up voices and strange ringingbuzzing noises sometimes it drowns everything else out additionally i feel like im getting messages through the television and radio like super specific and personal messages its hard to explain because i dont really understand whats going on yet i havent told anyone about this last and latest development yet not even my therapist im pretty terrified of whats about to happen next i dont think i need advice from anyone maybe if youre going through something similar just comment on your experience i plan to tell the therapist soon but i have a feeling i know whats going to happen wish me luck anyway,3.0
27782,god i need you right now im being selfish again  but i really need your help for this,2.0
27783,dhjk poor us im not going  haaa i wish i could go there wanna see their perform live ,2.0
27784,just back from dublin with jennywas sooo much fun seeing me old mates again  missed then soooo much  hehe x,2.0
27785,home from cuba so glad to be back ,0.0
27786,in westpalmmbeachhh    ,0.0
27787, yaaaaaaaay anything dodgy tonyi will do the same sir ,0.0
27788,sigh another two out fly out for papi ,2.0
27789,emilysmithhh tsb sleep deprivation and anxiety stress has been caused,2.0
27790,just sitting here i wish i was playing sims  ,2.0
27791,a nightly bowl then a bubble bath to end my day bc fuck anxiety attacks,2.0
27792,see ya twitters ,0.0
27793,debbiefletcher hello debbie tell me would you like to meet brazil ,0.0
27794,skycheyan haha id have to be several drinks in to ask him if he liked my pic lolbut ill wear my shirt with pride ,0.0
27795,ive kinda just lost interest in most things hi im new here ive never been diagnosed with depression and i think i struggle way more with anxiety than depression over the years however i feel like ive been losing interest in life i hate to complain and i realize that my problems are tiny probably compared to most other redditors on this subreddit but i felt like i had to get some of this out anywayanyway nothing really excites me anymore and the only things i derive moderate enjoyment out of are edm and weightlifting ive been dealing with some shit in the past few years including family health problems social anxiety addictions etc but ive acquired some coping mechanisms for these however i have no idea how to cope with a complete lack of interest in the things life has to offerthe biggest issue im having with this lack of interest is figuring out what to do in school im in my  semester at an expensive university right now with a major in mechanical engineering and computer science i am doing ok in these but i have very little interest in either and thats causing me to lose a lot of motivation and discipline theres a chance im not interested because i havent really committed myself to eitherhad professional exposure but i dont want to be wasting my familys money on stuff im not passionate about i have no idea what area of study id switch to either as again i have no other identifiable interests being stuck at home because of coronavirus has given me some time to think about this stuff and i am trying to figure out what i should do i wish i could just force myself to be interested in things but i think its a combination of anxiety low selfesteem and maybe depression that is preventing me from doing so i was thinking of taking medication such as prozac but i dont know how effective that would be what kind of course of action would yall suggest for someone in my shoes,3.0
27796,need someone to make me walk on the moon ,0.0
27797,if you need someone to talk to use httpsbetterhelpme,3.0
27798,  bluray version ftw altho i did fall asleep at some point  teach me to watch things that late ,2.0
27799,mellyford morning sunshine how are you ,0.0
27800,i dont think puppies are meant to glow like this  ,2.0
27801,rt senbookeroffice uscbo so what kind of benefits get dumped things like maternity care mental health and substance abuse benefits ,0.0
27802,rt darthamin what a sad story ,2.0
27803,dybbob dm me im your real estate agent in santa barbara ,0.0
27804,rt lrihendry snowflakes have a new diagnoses trump anxiety disorder caused by the mainstream medias lies  fear mongering and constan,2.0
27805,people dont take depression seriously millions of people suffer from it worldwide so many people kill themselves because of it so many peoples lives are ruined by it people still treat it like a joke ,3.0
27806,last night in austin sad ,2.0
27807,stcphenstrqnge same que sad todo,2.0
27808,am i depressed because im useless or am i useless because im depressed i feel like my depression ate my youth other people learn so much in their teens they try stuff out they develop so much they interact and they have fun and they have actual memoriesive spend the last  or so years in my room spending almost all my time on the world wide web or sleeping i regret every bit of it i have no social skills i have no skills at all actually i have no experience in anything and look its not like im totally clueless i know what people do in their youth i read it all the time if i have to i can make some conversation with the bits and pieces i have accumulated through the internet and from what ive overheard my classmates say but whenever i have conversations with people my age i just realise how disconnected from everyone and everything i actually was and then i fall in the endless pit of the question why cant i just be like them what the hell made me so fucking depressed at  years old i was a seminormal kid with a seminormal family before that so what the fuck happened and now i am here clueless and a useless member of society,3.0
27809,kathernandez  why thanks on both counts  got a great deal on the pants in south carolina they fit better in hawaii ,0.0
27810,i wish the rain would stop its really heavy amp battering off my window i wanna go back to sleep ,2.0
27811,i just wish i wasnt alive not as much suicidal anymore but more ideation i suppose i think its funny how calmly i can take a breath and just decide i dont want to be alive anymore,3.0
27812,hanging out with jamiemcreject jellyaikabean biiiancaaa traaaaacy yowneh and keeelaahbebs ,0.0
27813,i wish the sun would come out ,0.0
27814,zenamydog asylm thanks for the time  i barely know what time it is here only that i should have been sleeping  hours ago,0.0
27815,chantiparnell youll be fine im sure ,0.0
27816,zapatos for trashcan nachos and then an epic night ,0.0
27817,i am loving the truly madly deeply winged burnout tank from the urban outfitters site its just a shame you can get in in australia ,2.0
27818,why is finding a counselor so hard  in college severely depressed since forever and i finally worked up the courage to go to a walk in appointment she inspired me related to me gave advice that actually helped me put into words what i could not unfortunately she was just an unpaid grad student and could not take actual clients now i have to start all over my new counselor just nods her head and says arbitrary statements ive had two others that did the same and i quit each time i feel so bad but i dont want to even go anymore i found someone that i felt comfortable and had a connection with now im back to another person that just stares blankly while i hold back tears,3.0
27819,missglitch it span thrice on the spot barked squatted for about  seconds then looked baffled no party hat or disco lights ,2.0
27820,  yay on my way home ,0.0
27821,i dont know what to do anymore ranthelpadvice for over a year i have not been myself but i cant remember who i really was so no motivation to change myself  heres why i think i am the way i am now and why i feel or react to things the way i do growing up with a narcissistic emotional abusive mom shes not as bad as others but the constant  mother knows best making it seem we were a happy family when it was all a facade it gets much deeper but that would make this a realllllll long post  in hs i had cut myself due to a family feud between me and my sister sparked by mom mom found out  family therapy sessions mom made it all about herself i lied so i wouldnt have to go back end of hs raped at a party repressed that memory till last summer  years later when i finally slightly opened up about it  year in college was in a relationship with a very possessive controlling guy but i felt so needed and loved i let it happen  for i was and am quite emotionally all over the place it felt right   now in my  year first semester did fine got ok grades but currently sitting at a  because my first two years werent great but now in second semester im back to how i handled part of my first two years except worse in that relationship i lost connections with a lot of my friends because i didnt see them or reach out to them and i feel like they did try to reach out to me but love first right  somehow i started off this year completely wrong i have completed barely any of the assignments and skipped a lottttttt of class but i really have no regret  until i start going down the shame spiral of how im a failure and need to catch up fortunately i am able to pull myself together to make it to my serving job and actually feel normal and my time is worth something but ive been really slacking at my internship which makes me feel shameful because i dont want to be part of it anymore even though i used to love it last month i started dating a guy who i think is very nice funny and down to earth hes very receptive when i tell him how i feel not much constructive advice i dont mind but it is nice to be able to talk to someone but i dont like when he makes sexual or possessive jokesi told him about an hour ago the sexual jokes always make me feel weird because my body wasnt mine once before and im trying real hard to make it mine and those jokes just make me feel icky and the possessive jokes cmon he knows how much last bf hurt me and am terrified if being in another relationship like that sometimes im just having an alright day then i think about the shit my nmom did and how its so infuriating i play situations over and over in my head  i get hella sad worked up and have to calm my self down these past two weeks with her have been extremely difficult because ive specially told her i hate communicating over the phone and we will catch up in person but she cant seem to understand that i wont respond or will be short in texts or calls because now that i tried setting some boundaries she isnt respecting them which is disheartening so here i am not sleeping typing this up at  am because i seriously dont know what to do i really want to see a real therapist because ive never been diagnosed with anything because ive either been told or i told myself its just emotions and ill get through it my moms even poked fun that she thinks i have add because she has it and i tell her why dont i get checked then because schools already hard enough for me   but im over this constant cycle of sadness and self hate i know i can get though this i just wish there was a magic scroll that could tell me how i am considering dropping out this semestertaking a year off from school to give my brain some time to learn to love itself ,3.0
27822,dquotdrinkin coffee at  amquot sounds like a song folks ,0.0
27823,trending topics quotgood sexquot ,0.0
27824,how can i help my friends who have serious depression i have no idea if this is the right sub for this but they are badly selfharming and i feel a need to at least try to help ,3.0
27825,good morning everyone have a nice day ,0.0
27826,time for sims  now ,0.0
27827,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
27828,how do i get back on track i used to be a fun and cool person to hang out with i used to be athletic and talented i was one of the top scorers in my soccer team and i was very good at art i used to have a lot of friends until i was  when my family got divided and split up for reasons i dont wanna share i got severely depressed and i had to move to another town leaving behind friends just worsened my mental condition the new school just didnt care about me and whenever they did they only teased me in rude manners which led to a lot of fights i didnt have the interest or energy for sports and hobbies anymore so i abandoned them i instead sat on the computer watching tv series and playing video games  i sometimes even had suicide thoughts the situation right now is better as i have a couple of friends now at  but ive gained significant amount of weight and my cardio is pretty shit i wanna get back on track physically and mentally have a purpose of life ive lost interest in soccer since then so ive been thinking of starting mma or judo classes instead but i feel like that wont be enoughhow did yall get back on track what would you do if you were me i wanna get a better insight of the variety of choices i might have,3.0
27829,oh wow  nowareland fitzgeraldkc  and i are having lemonade on the porch music is playing  beautiful big smile ,0.0
27830, sacramentozoo thank you its has to be all day ,0.0
27831,been out for a long walk with the bouncy dog  was running late cos  had doctors appointment all okay though  elevensestime,0.0
27832,dakidyungv i dont smoke  i only drink,2.0
27833, thanks ,0.0
27834,watch for passing canadians when ripping on their terrible government run healthcare 🚂,2.0
27835,why tiny twitter doesnt work i allways get the quoterror   fail tinytwitter ,2.0
27836,i am in desperate need of a job ,2.0
27837,too bad for the nuggets but kinda glad the lakers were in ,0.0
27838,mrsdannywood  hahaha i have other videos lol bow wow favorited the  once i danced to his big girls video  lol,0.0
27839,my sweeties coming in tomorrow  i cant wait ,0.0
27840, hooooola beautiful  guess where im at missssss u,0.0
27841,me encontré esto y fue muy sad cristiano porque me haces esto httpstcogdykmrzzyj,2.0
27842,adorkablemellie  i think i am allergic to my liquid eyeliner  i have red circles under my eyes and they are puffy ,2.0
27843,is staying home tonight  ,2.0
27844, what i missed seeing you in victoria when you came for the tweetup i had a scheduling conflict fingerscrossed ,0.0
27845,gilmore didnt record  guess ill just read a bit of brisingr before i sleep,2.0
27846,rhettmatic happy birthday ,0.0
27847,music lifts my spirits music massages my soul sometimes live gets a little much and im not feeling so great i tend to forget how much spending an evening listening to music makes me feel better i put on that pink floyd and crank it upjust thought maybe this works for someone else too and they may also have forgotten to take their auditory medicine,3.0
27848,rt sonnyropper i have a problem wit dikesi cant help it theyre mental health patience 🤷🏽‍♂️,0.0
27849,didnt do anything at work but got paid for it  sisters game then movie jonnyd,0.0
27850,in the city ,2.0
27851,i just took a huge blow to my confidence   i just dont understand this class,2.0
27852,i cant sleep i cant find my grandmothers quilt or locket im sick at myself cause i may have lost them somehow or they were stolen ,2.0
27853,finally over yay ,0.0
27854, is  mafia working  u its not  me ,2.0
27855,warrenelsmore and you dont even have  a beard you can shave off to look younger  bummer ,0.0
27856,home from work now i have to cook tea ,2.0
27857,maryviolet well not to the song that has just come on  poor lottie  x,2.0
27858,im so excited for french lick with my bff this weekend  ,0.0
27859,dad was admitted to hospital yesterday so want to fly to cape town to visit  for monday return ticket on kulula ,2.0
27860,kfirpravda thanks  followfriday,0.0
27861,danipoynterjudd lol oh well other will just have to deal with it ,0.0
27862,hatin that my phone is off right now  goin to bed nite,2.0
27863,what can i do i am a  year old male i dont want to give a sob story so lets just say ive been through so much childhood physical emotional and sexual trauma and i am constantly seeking help since i was taken out of my first home but everywhere i go is just pointless shit i swearive been to doctors psychiatrists psychologists therapists mental institutions rehabilitation alternative methods everything and they are all shit and do nothing at all to help this constant anger and hatred and sadness that consumes me every day infact the more and more that i go to and end up just coughing up my hard earned money to these pointless fucks in their airconditioned offices who just have an hour chat with me and end up saying that it will just take time but its been  fucking years since i first seeked help and ive gotten nowhereany suggestions i want to get married to my fiance but im terrified that i will commit suicide after committing to marriage with her but i also dont want to leave her because she is all that i have in this world,3.0
27864,my bestfriend moves in one week one fucking week ,2.0
27865,eh i figured that out a long time ago  cant sleep  then youre tired and get depressed  then you cant sleep be ,2.0
27866,timnunn culturevultures a transnational festival of overt coolness ,0.0
27867,blackrugger apologies again but i know zero single females ,2.0
27868,blergh i think im getting a coldmy throaths been all itchy a day ,2.0
27869,toysrevil no probs you too ,0.0
27870,cant stop feeling like i will never be good enough with my family friends every relationship with people i feel like i just keep getting compared to someone else or everything i do is hardcore analyzed to prove that i cant do anything right ,3.0
27871,makiable 퇴근 중��신가 봅니다  아까 친신했ㅂ스니다,0.0
27872,sleep with bruised elbow hurts its on my sleepon side ,2.0
27873,anything for her ,2.0
27874,eatlikeagirl have you recovered yet  cant wait till the next one,0.0
27875,im shooting rubber bands around the office at work boring day i wish i could sleep my headache away ,2.0
27876,schofe generic girly girly generic girly girly and grisly ,0.0
27877,finally finished a new journal httpbitlylnhjv  dwarfs playground ,0.0
27878,perezhilton didnt you say if it was a trending topic youd have people follow peterfacinelli  ,0.0
27879,got twitterberry working again  just uninstalled restarted installed ,0.0
27880,just got in after spending  working mostly in a dark room ,2.0
27881,is home alone haha bring on tuesday day of peacefulness some sun would be nice ,0.0
27882,borrowed a copy of rough guise to india from my friend mrin and trying to make up and itinerary  me happy ,0.0
27883,urnxtopmodel  thanks girlie,0.0
27884,english exam  fail ,2.0
27885,remainamystery ooops i thought of the computer specialists ,0.0
27886,rt itstaytorres depression isnt always suicidal thoughts and loneliness and unending sadness sometimes its sleeping too much or too,2.0
27887,everyone click this link and watch my punch lions live  httpwwwalmosttheremusiccomnumbnutz,0.0
27888,rt marksolutely jenos armpit is even clearer and nicer than my face this is so sad alexa play go by nct dream ,0.0
27889,just got back from the beach i am sunburnt lol ,2.0
27890,excited for tomorrow night going to see the hannah montana movie ,0.0
27891,i hate my job well i got to get ready to pick up peter  bye shoprite i hate my job well i got to get ready to ,2.0
27892,hope all the teachers in my school feel better  haa im curently getting my hair fixed  bueno bye,0.0
27893,tomfelton i used to be very allergic to my uncles dog so i never got to play with him so jealous of your niece i bet shes adorable ,0.0
27894,im  and it feels like im waiting to die im not sure if its depression per se because it doesnt feel like depression ive had before  i dont feel sad all the time most of the time i just feel nothingnone of my hobbies matter to me anymore  ive stopped writing playing video games even exercising because theres no point to it  even if i try i just end up staring at the opening screen of my video game for hours often not even clicking past that initial screen before getting up to turn the system back off againi dont even listen to music anymore  i used to love listening to music in the car and singing along but now it matters so little to me that i literally didnt even realize i had been driving in complete silence for essentially the past weekevery day when i get home from work i sit on my couch and stare at the wall  i get off the couch to take care of my dog and thats about it  other than that im literally just marking time until i go to bed  i dont do anything because everything is either unenjoyable or pointless  i dont have a roommate and i have  close friends  one is getting married amp moving away soon and the other has basically forgotten about memy sister passed away from cancer a few years ago and i remember her last weeks in the hospital  everyone including her knew she wasnt getting any better  so they just tried to pass the time wait out the clock until the inevitable came to pass  thats what this feels like  marking time until the inevitable,3.0
27895, i wasnt late  i was right on time,0.0
27896,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
27897, hi nice pics  i wish to find a nice clever and reliable man i can send you my private pics send me your  ,0.0
27898,dan potthast as i go through redding followed by all american rejects we shot the moon dmb bowling for soup string tribute to hinder ,0.0
27899,im surrounded by people but i feel so alone i feel like i have this block in front of me thats making me incapable of feeling any emotions from anyone including my significant other they say they love me they say they care theyre there when i need support but i just dont feel it anymore i also dont know how to get out of that mentality that life is unfair and that things are just not going how i want them to,3.0
27900,born in the  a child of the  an adolescent teenage turned young adult  centurion what a ride  goodnight,0.0
27901,morning made a log fire last night it was so lovely at the time but this morning my house smells like braai ,2.0
27902,charlestlee  thnx,0.0
27903,out with the girls downtown ,0.0
27904,dannygokey mine is doing the same thing something must be wrong with twitter today ,2.0
27905,maliajonas i got it for christmas mum bought it for me online ,0.0
27906,na definitely not getting it until friday ,2.0
27907,mcahogarth i miss french toast ,2.0
27908,need advice i feel like trying xanax does anybody know if it really makes the pain go awaythanks,3.0
27909,i am a loser my name is james and this all started when i moved to california in  grade i am from thailand and had a great life there but when i moved here everything changed moving here without knowing anybody is hard especially when you arent a social person i couldnt make any friends in  grade and middle school here and i would just stay in my room playing videogames and watching movies i never came outside and felt like a loser fast forward i am a junior in high school and i am still a loser my whole family hates me as i am a nobody my grades have gotten worse and worse every year and i keep thinking about ending it all i got no one to talk to no one who cares anymore my parents tell me if i cannot straighten things up in a year they are sending me back to thailand to be a farmer like my cousins and grandparents now everybody has given up on me i have nothing and i feel like finally ending it,3.0
27910,bobsaget content cant be viewed outside the usa well that sucks for your followers from the rest of the world including me ,2.0
27911,i have been on the verge of tears all day im having a horrible day i wish i was at home with my boyfriend ,2.0
27912,doesnt want to go back to work  why cant there be longer lunch hours,2.0
27913,senka sve je okcvetaju nam ruzenarod uzivapa sad malo da se posvetimo vrapcimabezobrazluk je blaga rec,2.0
27914,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
27915,irisheagle curious to what you will grade star trek and terminator ,0.0
27916,themakeupsnob im on the slowest comp in the entire world amp im trying to work but i cant  guess that means ill have to be lazy too,2.0
27917,itschristablack ohh thought maybe they were planning some crazy stunts you never know with them haha  i cant wait to see u play july ,0.0
27918,making art   ,0.0
27919,facenaughty ill be checking  it ,0.0
27920,almost died my pant leg got caught in my bike chain while riding ,2.0
27921,spoke too soon  busy time x,2.0
27922,going to make strawberry jelly ,0.0
27923,good night tomorrow its back to reality  vacation is over ,2.0
27924,jgdemas hey muffin good morning to you grt textin wif ya last night ,0.0
27925,my doctors appointment back home after all thatthen i might go get my eyebrows waxed  text it ,0.0
27926,selfdiagnosis hello everyone just to clarify i am not asking this for attention i really want to know whats wrong with me as i dont have enough money to go to psychiatristi was wondering if you can self diagnose yourself with anhedonia if you dont have depression or anxiety i did not had nor drugs and did not take any antidepressants i think i have anhedonia and my sex libido is zero wondering if porn can cause it because i got some crazyextreme fetishes from itthank you and sorry if i offended anyone ,3.0
27927,that was a scary panic attack to wake up to  first one ever ,2.0
27928,ok so after a week spend with leah laying down in bed without her is weird whereals my bestfriend ,2.0
27929,i just want to die theres no point to my life i just live to make money and then pay shit i want to die i hope to god i get killed in some freak accident because i cannot stand myself im worthless ,3.0
27930,going to have a great day ,0.0
27931,yo no que sad🖓,2.0
27932,done here next  long hrs day  of  cant wait to go home,0.0
27933,going to the barn but its not going to be the same without our little biddy ,2.0
27934,boynameddavid i want to but rockky and dale havent texted me back ,2.0
27935,i need to convince my mum i need help advice please can you guys try to help im  and every time i try to ask my mum to take me to the gps about a mental health appointment she refuses to listen im anxious all the time constantly exhausted i sleep too much or way too little i have no appetite anymore i havent genuinely wanted to eat for nearly two weeks now but ive been forcing myself to have semi regular meals ive made plans for suicide and written note after note i tell her how lonely and isolated i feel and she still doesnt try to understand she tells me im being dramatic and asks what do you have to be depressed about the most worrying thing is shes a nurse and should understand there are more types of depression than situational not that my current situation is anywhere near ideal my dad genuinely thinks he cured his friends depression by taking him for a pint so hes no help either i really really need some help i have no support currently and every night i lie awake wondering if  it will be my last how can i help my mum understand and get me the support i know i need,3.0
27936,repinging mey today is my daughters bday  a very happy birthday to lil mey ,0.0
27937,fashionguru nooooooooooooo i wanted to see that movie i cant believe you just did that without a spoiler alert ,2.0
27938,i do not wanna get outta bed but i gotta go to the dmv and wait in that never ending line ,2.0
27939,therealshaq   heeeeey shaqtus d do ya get yo  mil deal ,0.0
27940, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,2.0
27941,themrsnikkisixx  well miss you  sixx,2.0
27942,whats the point of staying alive im not necessarily actively suicidal at the moment although i constantly think about it and even obsess over it at times but today ive really been trying to logically think about why im here and what are good reasons to participate in existence i cant think of any really it all seems so stale – friends family uni relationships everything i know i can still laugh and have fun at times but i just think whats the point when the good times run out all thats left over is sadness and emptiness and meaninglessness i seriously dont know what to do how do i shake this empty disillusioned feeling i have what do you guys do i feel like theres no point in talking to people about this because its not even something i can explain adequately anyway but it would be nice to know im not alone in how i feel,3.0
27943,oheves wow   yeah not looking forward to it as much now ,2.0
27944,dylanyourself haha have funn ,0.0
27945,does anybody feel worse after seeing a shrink does anybody feel like theres a hundred things you should have told them but forget about in the moment sometimes i think of things i shouldnt have said and things i should have said after the fact but most the time and i dont know why i feel absolutely gutted after seeing a shrink isnt the opposite feeling suppose to be trueim not sure why no one is to be blamed but i dont feel like i go out sessions with a different feeling or approach or understanding of how to deal with depression i feel if i can say it even more fucked up,3.0
27946,rt nataliemacchia sad,0.0
27947,designchic damn its still hurting damn get better ,2.0
27948,playing with my new toy  i bought a new camera today ,0.0
27949,the breakup does end badly ,2.0
27950,woodywindy its woodys birthday on this day woody was born many years ago  ,0.0
27951,battling on and off severe depression for  years i dont know where to go i have an irrational fear of doctorstherapists in the us because i think theyre only in it for the money and maybe some care about the well being of the patient but in my experience most dont which is part of the reason i am battling such severe depression is that i was prescribed accutane as a young kid at  so  years ago which severely messed me up and every side effect it has i seemed to get that side effect suicidal thoughts depression anxiety messed up my body physically lost my night vision etc after that tried various antidepressants which didnt help or made worst therapists that didnt help and so i just kind of stopped it all i started looking after myself trying to eat right work out not drink take heavy drugs etc there were periods where things were good dating semihappy always had a group of friends around me family to support me and could make friends easily but overtime that didnt matter and i would fall back into being lonely and hating myself it happens year after year im still alone at  have fear of rejection fear of committing to someone because i feel like ill fall apart again sexual anxiety although most of that has been worked through and a list of anxieties panic attacks often with my loss of night vision and a lot of other insecurities about physical ailments i have these insecurities have lead me to never having longterm girlfriends and since i hate rejection and having to explain all my physical ailments timeandtime again so i have a fear of dating apps and really approaching girls in general only meet through friends occasionally i really want to change this i cant keep putting my friends and family through worrying about me and i am miserable even though successful living in a cool place in los angeles and really most people would say im very lucky and i am i just dont feel like it i feel very alone often hate myself my thoughts and feel scared and i  desperately want to get over these feelingsback to doctors i really dont trust them medicine i wont take anything that isnt natural because most of the time i start bleeding when i use the bathroom or it makes me feel worst after feeling a little better shortlived effect aside from the medicine part of it i am willing to go to a doctor that does care but i dont know how to start that search i am going to start working out again soon broke my collarbone so been out of the gym for  weeks which is part of the reason im so depressed right nowanyway thank you for your time and responses in advance i really hope to turn the corner on my depression and tell a story on rhappy and be with a girlfriend one day soon,3.0
27952,lizzzzbeth  you will love it here i promiseeeee,0.0
27953,forestfrolic im so glad   thanks my dear,0.0
27954,nealplot pikachuserena you should have yelled sending thoughts and prayers 🤔🚫🙏🚫 sending thoughts and prayer httpstcogeddrbmekh,1.0
27955,is regretting not going to osha with the pretty girl who invited me ,2.0
27956,depression recurrence i need some encouragement some advice something ive had recurrences of major depression and anxiety at least a few times a year for well over a decade now i had been doing better and was stable at a low dose of prozac but over the past two weeks it has been increasingly hard to get out of bed and go to work ive called out sick at work  times in the past few weeks im about to be at least written up if not fired i have a lot of anxiety when in sit down meetings with supervisors and am prone to anxiety attacks in these situations my current supervisor has no knowledge of my mental health issues im always afraid to reveal it to people because of the stigma i at least have an appointment with my psychiatrist on friday im just so tired of these cycles of depression ive tried therapy and just about every medication out there im never better for very long and its hard to keep going,3.0
27957,i have been wanting to die for a long time all i can remember and think of is failure after failure year after year my mind has gotten ever weak how can i die without making it look like suicide ,3.0
27958,tuuuhweet im cold and my feet need rubbing ,2.0
27959,rt coliegestudent school hasnt even started yet but my stress has,1.0
27960,just the first week of classes and its hell already  toxic toxic,2.0
27961,jwwofford smith amp smithgarret amp garret  ,0.0
27962,wenchy  issues with ex and money and house transfer ,2.0
27963,photognome ill be there ,0.0
27964,the trophy on his hands feels so wrong    theres no rolling on clay no biting no spanish anthem whines,2.0
27965, im glad yo enjoyed it  im over jelouse now  ,2.0
27966,just tooling around my house as usual seeing a movie tonight with the girls ,0.0
27967,its really sad that hes been home less than  hours and he can have a full conversation with me but yet i have to drag it out of you,2.0
27968,quotthe needs of the many outweigh the needs of the onequot aww spock  he had the best funeral though ,2.0
27969,so ill yesterday  dunno how i got thru work it was awful worst day ever not as bad today  as long as i dont move  ,2.0
27970,im gonna sleep now bye tweeples ily all ,0.0
27971,anyone else imagining suicide stories in their head when im really sad i just want to imagine me killing myself and all that dramatic crap going around me dying most dramatic way possible i cant get around with it my brain thinks its cool to die just a note im not gonna do anything stupid after im sad and i completely imagine how i die and completely end my existance with this world it makes me happy its kinda creepy to think about what i have just thought about after i relax and shit,3.0
27972,never drinking again throwing up all morning and feel like a brick has been dropped on my forehead ,2.0
27973,rt  yall dont like local twitter because local twitter know the real you the quiet unconfrontational social anxiety havin,1.0
27974,okay seriously this toothache has got to stop three hours of sleep actually looking forward to the root canal tomorrow ,2.0
27975,youeffingsuck awww ,2.0
27976,chewing paper picking scabs i currently am on  effexor and have been for over a decade im so on adderall  and lamictal since before i can remember i have smears chewed paper i dont swallow it just chew it like you would gum i also chew plastic tin foil streamerssilly putty and etci do not crave these things i see them and then i have to chew them then when i chew them i feel better also it feels like when you got your braces tightened  a few days before snd it doesnt hurt but when you bite down the pressure feels good i also pick scabs i am not sure when it started i pick scabs i pick sleepies out of my dogs eye stickers labels sand out of my hair is my favorite i also have done things like scratched myself to make scabs out salt in my hair to replicate the feeling of sand and etc  if i have a scab its all i can think about if my dog has something in her eyes its all i can think about when i finally get it i feel a sense of calmness clearly i know that its not normal i always thought it was a symptom of my depression but it doesnt always coincide with any major episodesanyone else have this im super embarrassed to bring it up to my psych ,3.0
27977, welcome to twitter gabby  now we can talk on the phone text nd twitter at the same time lol,0.0
27978,pcdnicole were missing you amp your twittering nicole  ♥,2.0
27979,rt lsababe me takes  depression naps during the day and manages to fall asleep again at night and sleep in and wake up late ,2.0
27980,my dog is having her puppies ,0.0
27981,  e is out,2.0
27982,its dry  been for my walk and have come home with dry paws  met a funny looking dog and boy did he stink worse than a wet human urgh,0.0
27983,in a freakin tour bus thingy with my whole family road trip too florida urgh im already car sick save me ny ill c u later ,2.0
27984,how did i decide to go to the hard rock cafe after the hula show  amazingly the place is pretty empty also no rock stars ,2.0
27985,blah blockbuster doesnt have the orange box  now im all sad,2.0
27986,rissadawoo miss you kaykay ,2.0
27987,isadorastone i love the new demis albumm peeerfect ,0.0
27988,been depressed for years for numerous reasons  in love with my best friend but she doesnt see me that way i am sure shes the one i want to marry but she doesnt see it that way  my brother had anger issues and i cant be direct with him about it because hes also very nice to and kind to me plenty of times  work life balance doesnt exist for me just have to keep working all day all evening and late nights most weekends too i spend working because i cant afford to lose this job no matter what  i feel all alone,3.0
27989,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,1.0
27990,life is worthless without happiness i havent felt genuinely happy for years ive made three suicide attempts all of which obviously failed i find it hard just to get out of bed in the morning i spend most of my time sitting around playing video games or listening to music i get yelled at for never doing anything but i have no energy or willpower to do what people want me to do my gpa is below a  and weigh  lbs at the age of  i gave up on trying to fix myself id rather crawl away and rot in peace i dont think i can last for much longer,3.0
27991,santi almost winter i miss summer  was a bad winter there,2.0
27992,had a great talk with my man i knew there was some reason i was marrying him ,0.0
27993,rethinking rural hospitals  ,1.0
27994,cold rainy nasty day  after such a nice weekend ,2.0
27995,good music anyone else love depressing music ive had lil peep and x on repeat lately any other similar and good music to listen to ive heard almost every peep and x song a million times by now,3.0
27996,good morning tweeties ,0.0
27997,ashleybuchweitz  theres only one charger left out and its currently charging my iphone   must remember that aye,0.0
27998,anyone else facing grief listening to music from better periods in your life i often or by chance listen to music from years ago before my depression came severe and whenever i do i often get hit with such a strong grief i have to stop everything i do and curl up as much as possible since it hurts so much,3.0
27999,kirstyyl cus im busy so i have to do it now ,2.0
28000,actually feel so shit nothings changed why wont u change ur mind   and how have you got the power to make me cry   bad weekend,2.0
28001,on the plane heading to san fran to sing at kristi yamaguchis always dream foundation event ,0.0
28002,i want to drop out im in my last semester of my undergrad only three relatively simple classes stand between me and second degree and i just have no motivation to finish it i was depressed last semester and went to student counseling services for a couple sessions before i quit going it just seemed like i wasnt getting anywhere over winter break i actually started feeling like a human person again i was motivated to do things i was happy and that carried into the first week of the semester but now its just back to normal classes and i just cant do it i have no motivation to go to class ive basically been warned that i need to stop skipping class or im going to fail and i still managed to skip three days of class to lay in bed all day instead im genuinely debating just quitting i dont know the logistics of how things will work out and i hate the concept of just quitting with only three easy classes to go i cant understate how easy these classes are all i need to do is show up for them but i cant even do that its only  more months but i dont think i can do that i just want to be done im so unhappy like this,3.0
28003,marlsbarkley i love  the no  ladies detective agency imma miss it tonight ,2.0
28004,dailybooth new camera  dpdpdp ,0.0
28005,dinmurphy thats nice  go on a short trip hmm ya hor chalet  try to rearrange another date,0.0
28006,dezzmcr i dont like england at all its boring crap and my accent sucks majorly ,2.0
28007, hahahahaha i have a day off ,0.0
28008,dsrjarman morning sun shining through visiting my local farm too kids birthday party then out for meal tonight good stuff ,0.0
28009,fucking sick of it i wish there was an easysimple way to kms i lack all motivation and hate who ive become  i never envisioned this as a kid  im a fucking loser compared to everyone else at my school and cant make any good time management decisions  im a fucking ugly kissless virgin and just want to fucking end it because i hate who i am and how i look and i dont care about the path im on  im so fucking convinced that theres no logical reason anyone should ever have any sort of romantic feeling towards me  the more i think about it the more i realize the world is a fucked up illogical negative stupid terrible place and that everyone should just kill themselves because no one is truly good im fucking done and i wish i just had some sleeping pills rn,3.0
28010,my weekend officially starts now considering i wasted the beginning of it working ,2.0
28011,xpollywood  was los ,2.0
28012,i feel unaccomplished due to the lack of tweeting today ,2.0
28013,this teaser better drop in the next  mins my anxiety is sky rocketing right now,0.0
28014,oh im sorry i cant type widad sorry ,0.0
28015,knows that there is something not quite right about this one not quite right at all he laughs and makes no sense at least hes happy ,0.0
28016, civ iv would sell even better if  would dump the regional restriction ,0.0
28017,jhemmann yep i saw that onecant freaking wait ,0.0
28018,when i get  marys house ,0.0
28019,rt kmoranont young canadians are reaching out for mental health help more than ever investigation shows ,0.0
28020,rt marksolutely jenos armpit is even clearer and nicer than my face this is so sad alexa play go by nct dream ,0.0
28021,i missed the beginning of conan obrien and shia labeouf was on tonight  stupid dvr piece if shit,2.0
28022,i think my ears are bleeding  nataliebasingthwaite,2.0
28023,can not think of anything for dinner  bsb backstreetboys,2.0
28024,thehill dnc ivanka is a deluded media distraction to her fathers mental health instability his antiamerica int ,2.0
28025,rt ianspam to be honest im not doing good depression got a tight grip on me recently decided i need to start seeking help sorry it t,0.0
28026,wowi just knocked my head into my comp screeni must be tireddamni guess ill see you in my dreams  ,0.0
28027,does anybody else want to self harm but not in the typical cutting way i dont want to cut myself i want to run till i throw up or my body collapses or i trip and roll my ankle i want to play aggressive sports just to have the chance of getting injured i want to get into a fist fight that is probably lose i i wouldnt mind if i broke my leg or my arm i want to do stupid shit just to be put in danger,3.0
28028,urbaninformer right  but who knows you may spend it and win it back  you could be one of the lucky ones  it is addicting tho lol,0.0
28029,eeeeeevonnnnn unhappy you meant to say they camp not fun ah ,2.0
28030,sexydeadstar na ,2.0
28031,cutting for attention ive just turned  in january and its been about  years since i last cut myself i thought i was over it but i ended up cutting my right forearm this past fridayi had developed feelings for one of my colleagues at work  but my own feelings of inferiority and self loathing led me to physically distance myself from her i guess a part of me still wanted a chance to speak with her so i cut myself before going to work hoping to get her attention i feel terrible just typing it out its like im just giving ammunition to the stereotype that self harmers are just attention seekers yet thats exactly what i did im pretty sure that i did it for similar reasons back when i was  too i feel like i might be making light of such a serious issue and didnt want to offend anyone which is why im posting here instead of rselfharmin the end i didnt get what i was hoping for despite cutting for her attention i ended up hiding the cuts when i arrived at work worst part is i dont think ive learned anything from this as im thinking of doing it again on mondaymaybe this is a response to all the times ive been told to man up whenever i tried to share my problems in the past since i know my feelings for her are wrong im trying to man up by taking responsibility for my mistakes and punishing myselfmaybe if i cut myself a little bit more and add a cigarette burn or two then maybe id get the results i want though at this point im not even sure of what i want anymore,3.0
28032,my life is meaningless i fuck up everything i cant do anything right everything i do pisses if my mom im fucking worthless i screwed my familys weekend plans i screwed up my moms schedule for today i cant do anything rightim thinking about killing myself again correction the voices in my head are telling me to kill myself again they tell me that im worthless and that i fuck everything up and i believe them my life is meaningless i am meaningless im worthless and i deserve death the people that i love dont love me theyd all be happier without me,3.0
28033,listening to the mikey show always brightens up my morning ,0.0
28034, thanks for following thank you lisa loeb ,0.0
28035,never felt alive  dont really care i dont want to live but im scared of suicide  whats if i mess it up  what about the pain at least those thoughts are keeping me alive  i am so tired  i have recently,3.0
28036,just popping in to say goodnight everyone  ill be dreaming of sales  ,0.0
28037,sad but true,2.0
28038,when i am sad i watch dirty dancing continuously until i feel better and my flight home had dirty dancing for free ,1.0
28039,how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
28040, i want to come home  ,2.0
28041,glamorous indie rock amp roll is what i want its in my soul its what i need ,0.0
28042,finished dexter     start on season  next week,0.0
28043,loic i want a palm pre too  lol ,0.0
28044,that was one awesome thunder storm people keep asking me if i was struck by lightning did i look weird today or something ,2.0
28045,i wish i could sleep  my goodness its  am amp i really have to wake up earlier this morning  one thing goodnight sweethearts,2.0
28046,panosd but the veggielentil mix was jummed up together with satay  peanut butter goodness  omfg it was yum,0.0
28047,rt onceuponarocki i love having anxiety attacks 🙃,1.0
28048,making french ,2.0
28049,keesitt yeah i jelez cant come got class now finding dinner  sob,2.0
28050,i got a job its supposed to be a happy story but im terrified i managed to squeeze my way into a position of student worker despite having a degree in microbiology and computer science at  yo i currently make minimum wage and in a week ill make  i cant explain why my depression caused me to keep putting getting a job on the back burner but it did in this position student workerintern im getting pushed to apply for a technicianposition its my  day i already dont know what im doing and im terrified im not ready to be thrust into a new position im scared and i just want to stay here for another  weeks before thinking about anything else,3.0
28051,i dont want to be alone anymore hove do people that are broken like i am make any friends i cant even stand the thought of being alone anymore,3.0
28052, soon monday and the busy days are on again good nite friends  new djmixes coming up this week great weekend,0.0
28053,residentargento hey andrew had to take over twitter cause christel the intern left    we miss her spirit howre you doing,2.0
28054,rt lightskinhenz depression sneaking back into my life ,0.0
28055, thank stinks there are no sonics around here  honestly i have never even been to a sonic,2.0
28056,jakkster its okay at least finland got to the top  hungary didnt ,2.0
28057,at disneyland technically at california adventure going on tower of terror ,0.0
28058,i love msclara v mitchbenn  is it bad twitter etiquette to get involved,0.0
28059, apps or games recommendation for coping with depressions hello rdepressiontitle is explanatory below is my personal experiencerant dont feel obligated to readi have been alone and depressed for a long time i have recently started reading cbt based  books and while they dont fix my loneliness but has been good in trying to think rationally and help me cope i dont think therapists could be helpful in my case and i dont want spending money on never ending session to get what i can learn through reading and doing my bit of research online though i am not suicidal but i am just chronically depressed recently i was wondering about videogames or other sources like interactive apps that could be helpful id be glad if you could share your experiences ,3.0
28060,ouch fucking ovens my burn is giving me severe jip today  beeeeeeeeeach,2.0
28061,im happy my sweetie is oksorry to hear that its kidney stones ,2.0
28062,shimille hi camille  you should be reviewing go back to your room lmao,0.0
28063, i am very happy today and i dont why      ,0.0
28064,imagine like not having anxiety and being able to function in the world normally crazy concept,1.0
28065,so nice to crawl in bed and not have to set an alarm for the morning ,0.0
28066,femsol yes theyre in dc  �if you live among wolves you have to act like a wolf� nikita khrushchev,0.0
28067,swiftkaratechopcom isnt working and its making me sad  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,2.0
28068,ohmcmahon comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and then after ill buy you a drink ,0.0
28069,guys i need your comments to those who havent seen the lyout httpjanatabuzomultiplycom illloveyoumoreifyoucomment ,0.0
28070,is already looking forwards to the weekend but has alot of work to do before hand ,2.0
28071,transformer at the imax was amazing shame i have to work now ,2.0
28072,rt anbients depression is so fucking awful dont you just wish it wasnt a thing,1.0
28073,joshuaajones good morning ,0.0
28074,dappersnappers how are you getting prepared to be on oprah  gno,0.0
28075,ohhh orlando how i love theeeee  ,0.0
28076,maddsie thats ok   ure welcome   thank u  ur reply    hope u have a great day ,0.0
28077,i want a pool ,2.0
28078, years ,1.0
28079,i dont see any point in trying anymore nobody seems to want to put any effort in no matter how much i give my family has shown me they dont love me or care in the slightest getting up gets harder every day i dont have anyone for support i thought things would get better after a long six months of suicidal urges and  years later i have nothing to show for it and im slipping again whenever happiness comes and goes it makes me feel worse than before whats the point of trying,3.0
28080,rt fordm bruce wayne how can i rid this city of crimealfred mental health care access economic development gun reg—bruce bring m,1.0
28081,dark question if you had the choice to live or kill yourself how would you do it and why would you do it,3.0
28082,can officially say i have been at work everyday this week too bad today was unpaid  haha is was  minutes,2.0
28083,i am dissatisfied with  latest report  years a big bird huge with all electronic components with radar a ,1.0
28084,headed home ,2.0
28085,benjirowell in india we say that you dont just eat a bournville you have to earn it   httpowlyakkv ,0.0
28086,single and freei officially let go of the reigns ,0.0
28087,so is everyone enjoying this beautiful weather  i hope so its a sunny scotland for me and was doing the garden all day  hot hot hot,0.0
28088,rt gloomieghoul yea im into bdsm  bitch i am so d sadm,1.0
28089,inkatlinspahnts o i didnt shame on me ,2.0
28090,beberlei just for fun visiting my brother and hanging out ,0.0
28091,sethapollo come on aim or skype ,0.0
28092,you might be wondering why is this a bad thing well garrosh exhibited signs of depression while in nagrand dur httpstcoorsglsxeyy,2.0
28093,quitting my job i have to quit my job  im moving back in with my parents so i wont have rent to worry about and i have enough money to pay for everything else for a little while but i will kill myself if i keep working i cant take it  i recently graduated with a ba in psychology and havent found a job yet but im dying at this grocery job ive been working at  i feel like i have to do myself a favor and quit before i become so absorbed in my depression that i do something stupid  i cant take all the noises and the drama and that hyper socialization that comes with retail work anymore  ive been doing this shit for  years and im burnt the fuck out wondering if anyone else has quit their job without having another one lined up or some encouragement to just keep going,3.0
28094, thanks pixel  i was just about to turn the internet off as well ,0.0
28095,lironmor thanks liron appriciate kind words ,0.0
28096, oh  and one more thing  it wasnt just created it was just updated because of the budget,0.0
28097,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
28098,wish i was going back to the lake for the weekendhad a blastmiss my lil bro ,2.0
28099,rt itsashlyperez today my therapist told me the anxiety im experiencing is called adulthood,2.0
28100,if you are not following ohjazzy  then you just dont know what youre missing soulfyne wow dude wow  quotits that electricquot ,0.0
28101,uhm where did ya go  no tales of wat happened n m i ayo lol all well lol ,2.0
28102,first time ive ever blocked someone on twitter  hitler youth  say no more whats disturbing is that they actually have followers ,2.0
28103,plllleeeasseee vote for me for the mtv movie awards omgosh i am a nervous wreck  ahhh i need mandyyjirouxx time,2.0
28104,shannonmartins lets change ours so we fit in still  ,2.0
28105, i give you  internets for that ,0.0
28106,i went to sleep at  but my dog just woke me up cause shes too fat to jump on my bed on her own now i cant go back to sleep ,2.0
28107,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
28108,setting up my twitter page wondering if anyone will ever see it ,0.0
28109,ive got  sketches  only  more to go ,2.0
28110,why does depression make people so tired i know im depressed and have been taking antids for several years they have helped a lot i think it is environmental reactive depression currently living with abusive emotionally spouse  trying to go through a divorce amicably kids with sn who are very challenging i cant just stop i want to go to bed and not get out and deal with life but i have to keep going for the kids the fatigue is crushing me though i am exhausted it isnt just tiredness or feeling low in energy it is an absolute need to sleep when they go to school i go back to bed if i try to stay awake as soon as i sit down i fall asleep if i dont sleep driving my car or writing things are just too hard i keep thinking ill get on top of it and get my energy back but im not usually i just need to sleep in the day for two or so days a week this week though i have slept through the day for five days running im still so tired why do we get so tired has anyone found a remedy,3.0
28111,has the worst sore throat ,2.0
28112,not attending any cielo ny event untill july  ,2.0
28113,at home sick so ill be resting the next few days ,2.0
28114,rt holyoakewa join the mindmatters showcase amp improve support for students experiencing mental health issues ,0.0
28115,so bored cicero all day today yawn no bank holiday for me ,2.0
28116,i guess i should get ready for bed last day with my class before my new summer kids  kinda sad thats teaching tho ,2.0
28117,time for work  the hangover tonight shit looks hilarious,2.0
28118,rushringleader im sorry to tell you that will never happen ,2.0
28119,bored sick dont wanna go to work i miss dave argh i wanna go to uni ,2.0
28120,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
28121,rt hrcpersists it comes on you like that sometimes ,0.0
28122,random thought if humans use food and other techniques to control the animals for their own benefit and animals are not always aware of itsimilarly there is a higher species controlling humans using different techniques a species which can influence brain functions and we are all contributing to their goal in some way by working as we do and feelings are their means to control humans for their agenda and when humans go against them in some way depression or mental illnesses are their way of keeping humans in controlsorry for bad english,3.0
28123,twittaabellame good morning ,0.0
28124,im really cold  im still shivering,2.0
28125,smlimon  its okay i understand hey tomorrow i get off at  how bout you call me afterthanks love u,2.0
28126, serves you right for being a biker harhar jk ,0.0
28127,genesisjonass ohh okay  nvm then ill sell my honor society tix,2.0
28128,i turn  soon and i cant help but feel like i am going to die alone no close friends not even a best friend no social life no hobbies no passions i get very little pleasure from anything these days i work so much that i usually only get one day off a week most of which is spent laying in bed or sitting in front of the tv depression and anxiety keep me from liking anything anyone or even myself i failed at marriage and doubt ill ever meet anyone that i can trust or care about ever again i hate myself i hate my life i hate the world i constantly think about being dead or just wishing for death nothing anyone anyone has ever said has given me any hope all i feel is pain hatred bitterness and misery nothing means anything to me anymore i just want it all to end,3.0
28129,oanhknguyen haha well thank you in advance ,0.0
28130,must get caught up with organizing my genealogy data the searching is more fun orgganizing results too much like work life is hard ,2.0
28131,basketball was funnow im too tan ,2.0
28132,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
28133, oh im sorry you should have said something ,2.0
28134,nethhhhhhhhhh aw sad kala ko sa taga baliuag 😢,2.0
28135,ridiculously tired ,2.0
28136,debbiedattalo congrats on joining activerain im a bit of a new member too so i know how you feel ,0.0
28137,is getting a girlfriend a quick fix to loneliness ive never been in a relationship during the  years that ive walked this earth hence im pretty naive about it will it work what should i do to get one that will actaully love me for myself faults included will it be anything more than a hindering distraction from working and earning everyones respect and admiration ,3.0
28138,dianee noooo  i just wanted you to make friends thats all,2.0
28139,buying watches on the net is really a great adventure  i just love this guy trying to not sell me a watch lets see what happens,0.0
28140,damn  dont ever leave your coffee cold ,2.0
28141,feveligante u already know what to do hot tea sleep take some vitamins too bad u dnt have a new bed  lol,2.0
28142,i dont know whats going on with me i miss being happy worry free etc i dont know what is gonna happen in the future recently ive been having anxiety attacks a constant sad mood depression and a feeling of constant loneliness for about a year now the anxiety attacks started happening around a month ago but the mood and depression has been here for a whole yearbelow are detailsanxiety attacksthese are weird it will always start with some form of paranoia then ill get all jumpy and whatever im holding i will throw because i think someone or something is behind it or in it ik its stupid then ill start to spin in circles clockwise to make sure nobody is behind me watching me and if there is some thing like a blanket balled up for example i will need to kick it around to make sure nothing is inside it hiding from me also if there is no music or sound it will be worse so i constantly have music playing while these happen for comfort i guessthese usually last  minutesdepression this one is just what i think it is its like normal depression i lose interest in doing things i once enjoyed im always low energy on a daily i get sad easily and i have trouble sleeping also idk if this contributes to anything but i dont eat breakfast unless its a rare occasion i eat lunch so my friends dont question me at school and dinner i forget to eat unless im with someonemoodnow ive never really been the person to go out with friends because theyre always busy or i never get invited to anything really darn but if i get the chance to go out i dont want to and once they leave i regret not going but if i do go i regret going and wish i had stayed home idk if i worded this properly but its weird like heres an examplemy mom invites me to go out and eat with some familyfriends i decline and regret not going and feel guilty for leaving them hanging but if i do go i regret it and wish i were home and i get in a sad mood the rest of the daycausesmy parents recently told me thing suck rn and they might be getting separated this happened january   i dont know if this has contributed anything to this feeling but i dont think so because ive been having these issues  months before it happened lonelinessi feel stupid for saying this but i just feel like nobody really like me or enjoys me presence even though  they tell me they do enjoy me also i just really want to be hugged by someone that isnt family someone who really knows what is going on and who cares someone i trust also ive tried school counsling and sadly they just dont seem to help ive tried to do what they say and it just doesnt worki dont know really what else to do,3.0
28143,utingme welcome to twitter ,0.0
28144,rt  yikesss how sad 😬,2.0
28145,its quieti want an energy drink ,2.0
28146,ladydutchess awww  i mish u too ladie whats been good,2.0
28147,chriskhalil i think weve got some way to before itunes is in the same league as word ,0.0
28148,yes i live in monroe mi now i used to live in fremont oh ,0.0
28149,goin to the city with my schnuckiii  yayyy,0.0
28150,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
28151,melakemi you ming you shoulda said thanks ,0.0
28152,planetmcfly flawless arent through ,2.0
28153,nikkeebear aww it seems to  hate everyone  ,2.0
28154,my depression has gone away  and was swiftly replaced by anxiety and now im too scared to do anything instead of being too sad to do anything lmaotheres no fucking escape out of this im so done holy shit,3.0
28155, u best get some free drinks mama n drink some  me puta ,0.0
28156,malarkey  is no longer working due to server screw up ,2.0
28157,spent the last  hrs printing packing and damn it if im  box short on peanuts and cant finish till tomorrow ,2.0
28158,djbdolla lmao tell em why you mad son it is some bullshery though ,2.0
28159,mileycyrus awhh  why,2.0
28160,im confused a close friend of mine over the internet told me that she was sorry this was out of the blue because the last time we talked we were really happy i asked what for and she said she broke a promisei didnt understand but then she said she hurt herself i asked her why and she said she just did deserve it i tried my best but she just ended with im sorry i attempted to convince her since i have a history with suicide attempts and depression she said i cant promise anything she wanted to go offline for a while so i just wanted to let her know how i felt i told her i love you and she said i love you too she isnt single shes dating my friend but i have a huge crush on her and we are really close it happened  hours ago from when i posted this and im extremely concerned what happened i love you too is the last thing she said to me she hasnt said anything since and i feel extremely depressed because i may have been unable to stop my closest friend from committing suicide,3.0
28161,newsage does that mean i can bash ppl who dont believe that i am god ,0.0
28162,wish u were here with mecuz i love amp miss u ,2.0
28163,busy day weddinggraduationbirthday all for the same family too bad i cant go to the function in junction i have so much fun there ,2.0
28164,looks like i dont get to tinker with twitter api today after all ,2.0
28165,has secured the financial means for coming film project ,0.0
28166,i cleaned my for the first time in a long time today instead of feeling accomplished i feel like shit instead of feeling accomplished i feel like shit i just got a wave of overwhelming sadness i wanna cry but cant,3.0
28167,my tummy hurts ,2.0
28168,hmmm blogger wont let me save a draft and i dont want to post until ive had time to reread it later ,2.0
28169,yesyesyes d summerrr ll waheey exciteed  ,0.0
28170,starvation humiliation and abuse can anyone relate to being neglected as a child for me this one of the core bricks of my depression and the ghosts that follow me every day me and my sister were raised in a chaotic household without the money needed to take care of two children my dad in particular could become extremely angry over anything he was and still is an alcoholic and spend tremendous amounts of money on cigarettes and booze instead of feeding us i often found myself hiding behind curtains and other places eating onedollar baguettes or anything i could find he and his parents my grandparents where quick to defend him at any costconstant warfare between the two sides of my family made me chose sides and who to align myself with in the next shitstorm of family drama i was and still am extremely loyal and will do anything someone tells me just to avoid trouble as i said my mom and my dad didnt get along and often fought over who should have have us the most and this often resulted in things becoming very heated my dad would often chase me  on the way home to my mom just because he was bitter over the fact that i went to my mom more than him i know he did track where i walked because we often conveniently meet me in ally ways and different places of the town where he never drove or would have any reason to drive to hi used this convenience to drive me back to his place without my say one time he and my grandparents almost rammed my sister and my mom off the road in an argument over a party she had been to or something when they lost them they went back home where i was gaming minecraft and started to whale on me instead saying that i was on their side and we where disgusting people and so forth honestly i dont remember much as it was this episode that left me with possible ptsd as one doctor has said to me but its not confirmed so i often prayed to god to kill me at the age of eight as i was mentally exhausted the police became involved several times but nothing came of it as my dad is a master manipulator and always manages to get out of those situations like this one time where he flirted with one of the inspectors of child protective services   bulling is also something that has stuck with me the humiliation of public bulling in school is the one of the worst things i have ever experienced i can take a beating and having been kicked by my class mates to unconsciousness i can say that humiliation is worse standing infront of the class and having people laugh at you leaves a sense of shame that you cant get rid off i moved from home about half year ago and started my higher education but all of my experiences has left me a anxious wreck if for example someone touches me without me knowing something like a pat on the back or a loud noise will trigger many kinds of reactions a out fear and if i become stressed out i often get a panic attack this just starches the surface of what i have experienced with abusive relationships and more hopefully you guys can relate i havent really had many friends at all so havent been able to compare my childhood wit anyone else wonder if i am over reacting or not i just needed to write some off this out since i have been holding it in for so long and that strategy has not helped me so far sorry for bad grammar english not my native language,3.0
28171,is really annoyed his new laptop battery isnt useful anymore i have now a laptop that needs to be plugged all the time ,2.0
28172,fraustrated with life atm basically ive been dealing with some shit for a year after having a possible life changing accident when i got whiplash my life has been pretty shitty i get pains in my neck and sometimes headaches im only  and feel like im  sometimes its fraustrating not being able to do anything like before which has resulted to drinking and smoking  doesnt help my job is labour and that shit doesnt help im not sure where i see my future after all this crap and my mind is just hazy as im basically very quite and can be a loner at times with nobody to talk with and basically just leaving my anger thoughts in my head with how everything changed and has become a shit show,3.0
28173,new tweetdeck wont go in the corner of my taskbar where all the little icons are convenience bites the dust ,2.0
28174,goocta happy birthday ted ,0.0
28175,jade coloured eyes letter to the love of my life i remember lifting my head from my phone stood before me the most gorgeous lady id ever laid my eyes upon you glanced over in my direction i remember those eyes your bright green jade coloured eyes i took a deep breath youre the one i shouldve known such a perfect aura was sure to bring me such pain rubbing my hands through your warm fingertips the smell of your cheap fragrance polluting my airways the butterflies that sank from the top of the tallest mountains to the very pit of my stomach when you said youd be my person in that deserted movie theatre why didnt i see it coming my first anniversary with another human being oh god how did i end up with such a beautiful soul the kisses i can still feel your warm precious lips pressed up against my cheek the butterflies turning to upset stomachs my favourite moments were driving under the city lights and the romantic nights sky the cuddles now all i see is your undressed spine romantic walks trailing off into solo expeditions the kisses oh god the kisses arent the same the promises are now apologies baby girl i miss you the arguments are now non existent im in a room with somebody in a different universe i want my princess back oh my darling the milkshakes are now filled to the brim with tequila and vodka im drinking these spirits to feel closer to em but i just want to touch yours just one last time the apologies what fuck you im leaving no im leaving first stay away from me please come grab me before i get into this car the door slams i speed off crying into double lanes and scars a baby stairs at me clueless in the next car over maybe you and i can have a daughter someday what do you say my love the chocolates id come home with to surprise you i need to retaliate how could she do this to me the happiness is now consumed by pain i feel like i have nothing left im going to marry you i promise the love isnt there hate is the one string binding us together  why did you look back and gaze into my eyes why did i look up from my phone how could such an angel bring me so much pain without lifting a finger why did i fall in love what was it about those jade coloured eyes,3.0
28176,i really dont get this ,2.0
28177,bored of reading would like a usb port in my head to upload have tried shoving my memory stick up my nose but it doesnt seem to work ,2.0
28178,is on the way to lime twittering on my bb   bye bye iphone u wont be missed p,0.0
28179,it is literally a billion degrees outside omfgggg  testing starts tomorrow  lol fail,2.0
28180,girlx theyre at the bottom of the thing and arent moving at all feels bad man ,2.0
28181,rt heyjenbartel posting this in hopes that it helps someone else 💖 on self doubt negativity and mental health while starting a cr ,1.0
28182,trying to be normal i dont have much social skills but try to do things outside my comfort zonealways trying to make plans with friends but they always have other things to doim feeling like they are avoiding me but to scared to ask them whyi just dont want to be alone ,3.0
28183,i feel sad about 💜,2.0
28184,having near  weather on saturday and now having a gloomy  degree monday not fair ,2.0
28185,me talking to my anxietydepression when they start acting up,2.0
28186,watching a movie that is mad boreing  lgc ,0.0
28187,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
28188,i dont have anyone in my life for support i dont have anyone at alli stopped feeling at some pointprobably for my own goodim fine with this,3.0
28189,im so close to sell my body for drugsampmoney and then kill myself im so tired nobody can notice how autodestructive i ami just heard that i have nothing to worry about and everyone probably thinks like that,3.0
28190,depression hit me hard i made a throwaway because some people from my school might know my reddit and i dont want them to know thisso where do i even start i wont be putting my whole lifestory herewell it all started  years ago i was feeling pretty down because i suck at everything and my parents were about the break up they didnt and i just threw my hat and fell and started crying and screaming nobody likes me and i fucking suck and things like that it has been the same except i dont rage i just hold my tears and sometimes cry everyones tired of me being dumb and they leave me one by one slowly but surely i lost motivation to school and gaming im not really happy anymore even little things make me sad for example seeing a meme and not understanding it just reminds me of how dumb i am speaking of that believe it or not i cant fucking do anything i suck at everything im just so fucking dumb and it cant be explained with words and no i dont think that because im possibly depressed im possibly depressed because of that im just a complete failureyknow i just want to commit suicide but i dont want to because what if death is more suffering and the regrets and guilt i mean nobody would care i just want to die except life is a onetime thing so im just gonna stick around til i die to my own dumbness i wont get a job and ill probably die to some sickness and hunger i only see myself as a homeless ugly shit,3.0
28191,skylineva thanks shana good to know im not the only one waiting on the kid thing  some day  look forward to reading yours ,0.0
28192,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
28193,sniff sniff whats that smell the old mare got sprayed by a skunk ,2.0
28194,at the verve drinkin ,0.0
28195,jonthanjay dear jonathan tomorrow is career day at our school kids come to school dressed for their goal kinders want to be president ,0.0
28196,tommcfly if it helps im on yr side tom  you talk loads,0.0
28197,double today my second job talking about taking them too the pool smh damn i dnt want toooo ,2.0
28198,turns out its very hard to sleep with ones ankle elevated perhaps harder to see night  museum today w ankle on seat in front of me ,0.0
28199,  hope you had a good one today think i missed you on here ,0.0
28200,checked his email but cant open anything  wish me luck im trying out for the fps variety show today yay for singing,0.0
28201,daniellenicole and holly  i wish i was on the other side of the bar with u,0.0
28202,sporky just died ,2.0
28203, days happy  days depressed my normal week goes something like this i get depressed towards the middleend of the week then start making myself feel better during the weekend feel good at the beginning of the week and then progressively get more and more depressed does anyone else deal with thisi literally hated being in class today and when the professor asked us to discuss something in our groups i just got so frustrated and angry i dont want to talk to another person especially when i feel selfconscious and not so great about my intellect and ability to articulate not to mention that english is not my first languagei have crippling social anxiety have good days and bad days but the bad days seem to outnumber the good,3.0
28204,wanna see metro station at oslo hate that i can go ,2.0
28205,joeymcintyre i will definitely be there in spirit as no way can get in person ,2.0
28206,kitblake greetings to france  pyconfr,0.0
28207,i want to die but i would hate myself for hurting my parents i know not a lot of people are going to read this just made this account because for some reason just typing things to other people feels a lot better than just keeping it in by myselfim not too old not too young im bored of everything it takes a lot to get me really excited going to family friends and school used to be fine but now its so tiring so tired of faking being happy and acting like nothing is happening when inside i cant help but feel the exact opposite i just want to disappear and die but i know deep down im too scared too uncommited to go through with it my curiosity with whats after death has always made me tempted but not enough to really decide to do it i know deep down that my existence is just a hinderence to my parents god knows how much of a better life they would have if i had just never existed in the firstplace but now theyve invested so much of their time and happiness into me and i feel i would be such a horrible person to just rob all of that from them but the longer im here the more im wasting its just scary questioning everything you do wondering if its all worth it in the end knowing that at the end of the day youre just another guy in a world that will function as if you didnt exist when youre gonethanks to everyone who read this if you havent posted anything before i encourage you to do so just writing this down really felt like a weight off my chest,3.0
28208, lol yea for sure that moth is creepy ,0.0
28209,about  weeks paycheck will take care of that ,0.0
28210,rt ppsychiac virtual reality for psychiatric treatment research shows promise for vr amp other technologies in mental health growing b,0.0
28211,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
28212,okieannie yes it does hehe ,0.0
28213,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
28214,sad,2.0
28215,amp id swim the ocean for you  ,0.0
28216,is thinking fuck the revision today im going to go stretch my ears some more and then go out instead because im in a fantastic mood ,0.0
28217, its been nuts here but good to keep busy  sorry about the knee ,2.0
28218,rain on my bday and pride ,2.0
28219,bravery after finding and lurking on this sub for about a year now ive finally taken the plunge and made an account ive been thinking about whether to and what to post for the last  hours while scrolling through anything i think of writing seems so embarrassing and yet i dont feel that about anything that ive read from anyone elses posts i just really want everyone to know that if you have posted or even thought about posting then you are brave and stronger than you think theres me assuming that because reddit is anonymous that will make it so much easier but its somehow not were all our own worst critics so it doesnt even make a difference keep going youre doing well even if we dont believe it we need to keep telling ourselves that we can do this ,3.0
28220,bad news everyone my les paul has put my back out  my back aches so much,2.0
28221,i read somewhere that google dropped the quotsenderquot header in emails  they havent  outlook still shows from x on behalf of y fail,2.0
28222,aaarrgghh seems i forgot to book on the  conf dinner at the aquarium and its fully booked gutted  anyone free for dinner on thur,2.0
28223,anxiety is off the roof 😰,2.0
28224, guitar in a weeeeek,0.0
28225,finally finished the damn marking  btw i went to the red dress run yesterday and my virtual tourist oz guest thoroughly enjoyed it ,0.0
28226,im lied to my parents just now huhu  i have to,2.0
28227,rt djrov headbussas flag football team recruiting early if you a baller and u coming to nicholls hit my dm 🏈🏈 we the former champs,1.0
28228,kombucha makes my stomach hurt  now i know why i stopped drinking it,2.0
28229,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
28230,sidebangceo good mornin my braddah sam gotta make dat money man ,0.0
28231,abigailrieley  i havent come across that before either you must be somewhere nice ,0.0
28232,i hate sunburn ,2.0
28233, full moon my lovely friends and family my bday wish came  in additiongray matters is one of the cutest movies ever ,0.0
28234,patchyemoly cool ,0.0
28235,band camp starts today ,0.0
28236, why not ,2.0
28237,one word band one reaction  ,0.0
28238,super regionals ,0.0
28239,on my way home from disney   soccer camp next week,2.0
28240,jonasobsessedx damn hes still at the bottom ,2.0
28241,were on big sad tn boys,0.0
28242,i dont know wtf im doing with my life im a teen and to be honest i dont even know if i have depression i suffered from pretty bad anxiety until not long ago when it became dull like the rest of my feelings and now its just an annoyance because of my ibs i dont know if should be even writing this because when i think about whats wrong with me it seems like a joke a cakewalk compared to what some of you have to go through i was a good student throughout all elementary and middle school more often than not i was the best in my class not because i was particularly smart  i just studied a lot i think however i had a big ego and that kept me motivated to study and to make my parents happy but in high school it all went slowly downhill and now im at the point where i should be studying for tomorrow but i cant bring myself to do it it feels awful  and i have to listen to my parents constantly complain about how they are unhappy with me and that i will be a failure and i wont be able to get a job i dont really know what to do because nobody listens to me in my life and again it feels so stupid to write this  i could just go do what im supposed to do but when i sit down i just feel so uncomfortable that i cant even start reading thats only one aspect of it  im unhappy about my body but when i try to go to the gym i quit after a week or two i feel like a conplete failure and i dont know if its my fault or my parents cause even as a kid i remember them putting me down harshly and hurting my self esteem the other day i tried to help my father out in the garden and when he got frustrated at me for not knowing how to do anything i couldnt help but start crying like an idiot in front of him ive never done much even as a kid outside of school my parents always make and made me notice that and i have to admit that they are right and that they have always let me do pretty much what i wanted even if i didnt help out in the house which means always but at least before i had a thing i was good at now im completely decaying mentally and physically ,3.0
28243,got my sisters  fixed for my own personal use  just so i could win the bet i have with martin that i wont buy a new phone soon ,0.0
28244,prayer offering i hope this is allowed but if there are any believers who are having a hard time please contact me i am willing to pray with you nonbelievers are welcome as well jah bless you all 🙏🏾,3.0
28245,im not feeling this whole work thing today also have homework i need to finish ,2.0
28246,la hora sad,2.0
28247,rt amzbro oh hi anxiety thanks for making me nauseous can you fucking not,2.0
28248,crackbarbie so im not the only one to cry during quotupquot it was an excellent movie    lt you cried you have to be kidding  lol,0.0
28249,here it goes  the hills finale ,0.0
28250,coreygledhill youre welcome  nope but i wish i was there im suck in ca ,2.0
28251,sidarok no ill send it to anyone who asks for it want a copy ,0.0
28252,looks like well have to hire someone to help us move ,2.0
28253,says shit im sooo not feeling well  ,2.0
28254,there are many it news today i have post on some forum but except hkpugorg because their system still not fix on connection ,2.0
28255,long message of how ive been feeling what i feelmy anxiety and depression has been getting worse these past couple of months it started more with my dislike of my old university then spiraled more out of control the longer i stayed there and more things were unraveling with my now exgirlfriend in short i didnt like my university and it made me isolated alone stressed and depressed just being there i would drive home whenever i could to get away from there as that was happening things started going wrong with my relationship with my ex she revealed to me that she was unhappy with me and wanted to have a break so she can think more about the state of our relationship and figure out why she is feeling unhappy about me and our relationship this came out of nowhere and it hurt me a lot i was really depressed but i was able to calm down and feel optimistic that things would get better between us at this point we have dated a little over a year but i was in absolute love with herlater on i was able to withdraw from the school and do community college next year which made me feel happier but things between my and ex and i got worse she told me a list of grievances of things that i have done wrong that hurt her offended her or were just generally disgusting and awful things i said and done im someone who has no intent to do stuff like this and hearing that and knowing how she got impacted by those actions broke me that was the beginning of me feeling selfhatred i became ashamed of myself and hated what i did to her i was dedicated to try to make her happy around me and i failed to do that around that time though it wasnt completely official for the break up but my feelings were still there throughout from that time i was trying and somewhat succeeding to calm myself and be optimistic but not overly like i was last time and tried to mentally prepare myself for worst case scenario which was her breaking up with me i cannot remember exactly but it was a couple of days before or after christmas where she made it final that we are not together anymore but we can still stick as friends which i was happy about from what ive seen and small conversations now and then i thought she outright hated me but hopefully that still isnt the case at this point i am not sure how she totally feels about me now anyway for at least a day or two i was able to stay calm and try to move on and then i again broke but went lower my mind kept swirling about her where it used to be every now and then i would think about her and if i did i would be able to distract myself from the sadness that came with it became where i constantly think about her  it was annoying then but its driving me crazy just the thought of her just makes me remember how much i hate myself for what i did to her how much i miss her and all the good memories i had with her i just keep having those thoughts constantly and i would just be depressed  and get anxious as hell when i cannot distract myself to think of something else whenever im having a different thought my brain just somehow links it to her when this started happening crying became and everyday thing then i started having those thoughts where its kinda like you remember some random thing you did as a kid  years ago that was embarrassing and you cringe about it then move on but instead of that its me remembering what horrible stuff i did or said to her that made her feel unhappy and then i hurt myself and cry and cannot move on just moments where i think about what i did wrong to her made me self harm by bruising my fists and face with walls doors and small blunt objects like my keyboard rest smashing it on my head its a couple times a day everyday kind of occurrence for all of this i hate myself for what i did and what ive become and what i am its grown to where i starting hating myself for things unrelated to my ex stuff like my personality my educational situation my future etc all i feel is broken and huge mess i seriously try to move on and get better to the point that ive been basically lying to myself and others on how im feeling fine and doing better anxiety and depression wise even to my therapist ive been lying to about this things are not getting better its just getting worse i just feel constant heartache and sadness with many occasions of headaches and occasional moments of literally throwing up i have never been this depressed ever and i have never loved someone so much ever in my life to the point i would do anything for her and want to be with her for the rest of my life but that wont happen anymore we may have returned each others stuff but i was never given back my heart she still has it anyway ive just felt so depressed that ive started to not enjoy doing things that i used to enjoy doing like gaming watching movies and tv shows hanging with friends etc i just feel bored constantly as well and things i try to entertain myself dont work and i become bored within minutes i cant sleep well at all and my hygiene isnt ideal i have thought of suicide and have thought of self harming that can be very dangerous but i dont think i will ever do it since i dont have the strength or that dark of a mindset to do it and i also believe that my only purpose of being alive is to be there for other people at the moment ive been shaking and crying this whole time ive been typing and threw up my mom even checked up on me when she heard me throwing up and thought i may be having an eating disorder although i have been having appetite issues but not to the point of purposeful hurlingim waiting on anxiety meds from my doctor recommended by my therapist but he doesnt know any of these details only  of my friends knows about this but not fully i feel i dont have many people to talk to and i just feel even more isolated and lonely anyway that is my whole thing and probably more i could say and elaborate but its already too damn long and i probably made my point,3.0
28256,i hope this day ends soonso far its been a mess ,2.0
28257,ow just pulled something omg going to ethiopia in december o the place of my parents seriously cant wait  and beyonce in sep  x,0.0
28258,swam alot tirrreeed ,0.0
28259,rt  so according to the who nigeria has a higher suicide rate than americayet many nigerians still insist africans don,1.0
28260,having a cup of tea and nursing poorly boy sleepy girl a hangover level  and a really sore backand it bloody raining ,2.0
28261,nonicam oh thanks    im a fiorella  and ppl call me gift fifi  fiforella  goofiestrella  haha,0.0
28262,bottle recycle bin in the office kitchen where have you gone we keep you well fed and today you have run away ,2.0
28263,its so weird to be lounging around in a total strangers house its damn awkward ,2.0
28264,have a pic of my office window just testing crossposting really  ,0.0
28265,six days until my birthday ,0.0
28266,says  may is a good day  httpplurkcomprlbkq,0.0
28267,im so burnt out that i cant even cry anymore sometimes i just want to cry it out but im physically unable to the best i can manage is crying for  seconds before im burnt out and tired,3.0
28268,paulwaugh need to freshen things upget a new image  johnson will be better  politicians are full of oxymorons never say anything ,0.0
28269,gutted to discover that i missed two of my favourite bands at jbs last year eluveitie and korpiklaani ,2.0
28270,everyone should convinceforce easyleesy to go live ,0.0
28271,life in shambles my boyfriend of  years who id been living with for  cheated on me i had no where to go so i had to leave my friends and prospects behind to live with my parents in another state i have been unemployed for two years and im  years old i went to a teacher boot camp during that time and worked as a teacher for about a month before the stress of  hour work weeks gaslighting harassing supervisors and no leadership literally caused me to collapse i did some other odd jobs but i could never seem to get passed the interview stage for jobs in my field it and web development i dont know if its because im a black woman and they dont want to rock the boat or because my high functioning autism made me seem unapproachable or unenthusiastic or if moving to another state and leaving my old job behind although i still worked for them remotely made me seem flighty just as i was starting to understand how to market myself better he ruined everythingthat city felt more like home than any place had ever been to me and living here with my parents in the middle of no where with no transportation no healthcare and none of my friends or networks that i had built just makes me feel hopeless secluded and out of my element i want to die,3.0
28272,as work all day today ,2.0
28273,ive got a cold   i swear to god if ive got swine flu,2.0
28274,is not looking forward to a full day at work tomorrow ,2.0
28275,my mental illness is destroying my relationship i dont think if i can survive without it hey i hope i am not breaking any rule by using throwaway accounti am diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia there are better days but most of them are usually bad in some way im exhausted because of it and my fiancee is done with it too weve been together for two years by now but our relationship hangs by a thread she tried to give me back the ring a couple of times by now but we were always able to talk it out i dont think we can talk it out much morei am not the best man possible and i know it i took too much medication a whole pill instead of half of it and ive slept through half of our anniversary im ashamed of it and i apologised for it but you cant make it go away by apologising i didnt have the money to take her on a date that day she says i stopped fighting for her im afraid this might be true i dont know how to treat her right i dont know how to fight against the voices i my head or the desire to lie on the floor crying in helplessnessi am unable to talk about important things we get into arguments often about the same things i have no idea how to fix them so they just resurface after a couple of weeks sometimes days she argues that i dont listen to her i do listen but i cant explain why my brain kinda ignores her advice while im doing things when i was cleaning the pipes under the sink she said that i shouldnt force open the stopper i did and i broke it yesterday i asked if i could touch the sign laying down she said no for some reason i ignored it and picked it up a little then i put it down she started insulting me saying that that could be considered stealing or vandalism if i were to be spotted by the police we quarreled on the way home the only thing i had in my head was that im really a moron that cant listen she was right she is always right why cant i just do as she says today i overfilled her bowl of cereal even though i knew she doesnt like it when the flakes are not submerged in milk and i knew she doesnt like her bowl filled all the way i remembered it when i was giving it to her why cant i just pay attention every single thing i do badly i do because of myself its my fault because of it i am constantly stressed about things being careful with everything i dont want to anger her living under stress and depression and voices in my head does awful things to a person i cant even have sex like a normal person im  renting my own flat with a girl that loves sex but i just cant do it anxiety devours me and the voices say im doing everything wrong but she expects that i initiate it and im too afraid of everything im pathetic every time we argue about it im more and more anxious about sex its a self repeating cycle i cant even talk about why i dont respond well to her initiating it i have no idea why maybe its the fact that i feel gross in my own body maybe i think i dont deserve love maybe its something entirely different i just dont know what it is and i cant communicate itshe wants to het married and have kids as fast as possible at least wanted to she is critisising me for not making any moves towards planning a reception or planning kids these are imprortant to her but i feel that im still just a kid i dont want to get married right away i want to wait until i finish the first step of my college to do it she wants it right here right now she says that i dont really want it because i am postponing it but its not true i really want it but my mum says she will support our marriage only after i finish this first step of college education and we need the money i dont want her to leave even though we argue a lot more than ever before i know i can make it work if i just change myself she taught me so many things in life she is my first longtime partner i became a better person because of her i understand why she is fed up with me i just dont think i can do anything about it my medications dont work perfectly and i still have psychotic episodes especially under stress im afraid i could hurt myself or someone else when she is around though everything is easier she can calm me down with a lullby she can be my conversation partner for hours she can braid my hair and i can paint her nails she is mad at me since new years eve so i cant hug her or kiss her and i miss it i dont know how i will live my life without her i dont know how i would live without her in my life if she decides to leave me ill just kill myself without warning anyone i look at my knifes in my house more and more they are telling me horrible things i just want to survive i want to be happy with her i know i dont deserve happiness that im an awful human being but im selfish and i want to be loved too,3.0
28276,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
28277,rt youthvillagesor tbt to mentalhealthawarenessmonth ed andrewegrover proud to be in group of incredible honorees of ,0.0
28278,stephannn no hes not an ex silly ,0.0
28279,everaldo thats all good but its just quotfactoriesquot ,0.0
28280,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
28281,surfed picked up today lakey peak is barreling off its  surfed peak this morning might hit nangus at lunch time and periscopes late  ,0.0
28282,i had nightmares last night that i could have really used a hug to chase away the yucky feelings of when i woke up no hugs planes ,2.0
28283,quotmy head feels like theres a frenchman living in itquot  ow ow ow,2.0
28284,it must be soul crushing to make the same sad subtweets about the same guy every night,2.0
28285,utterhip when we say quoti dont have any  wearquot we usually mean quoti dont have what i want to wearquot or quoti dont want to wear what i havequot ,0.0
28286,a few routine pastory type things to do today  move along    nothing to see here  ,0.0
28287,i dont know how i made it home alive i closu i  ,2.0
28288,i have to sleep on my couch tonight neg  hope you all sleep tight i wont,2.0
28289,africanabc i know that was just kidding about stereotypes and stuff have fun ,0.0
28290,leesaamarie hi lisa  do you officially have the best job in the world ,0.0
28291,courtneymeow haha shut up hairy just cos i didnt know that they were a band ,0.0
28292, yeah who locked that thread the noob was able to post way more than me in there and now hes caught up to me again ,2.0
28293,has sore tummy  and is eating some rennies,2.0
28294,this is probably the best birthday ,0.0
28295,watching hannah montana season  ,0.0
28296,is feeling sad and stressed i do not want to do any more stupid bloody essays and nooo more  stupid stupid stupid exams saaaaad times ,2.0
28297,its getting harder to keep going for the past  months ive been going even deeper into a downwards spiral ive been relying a bit on drugs to help me feel happier but recently ive had my birthday this year barely anyone said happy birthday to me not only that but im worried that i may be pregnant because my time of the month is late i have been nonstop stressed for two weeks i cant afford to have an abortion and if i do more work than i am now id probably want to kill myself even more im also living with parents i have no more healthcare and i cant see my therapist anymore due to high costs people keep saying it gets better but i feel like its only been getting worse  update i want to die even more than before i tried calling someone and the person made me hate myself even more theyre the only person i can talk to about this stuff i feel more lonely than ever and i feel like i should end myself tonight,3.0
28298,the only thing stopping me from suicide is me wanting my parents and pets to be happy i dont have anyone anymore i dont think i can be helped i want off this shitty ride but i love my family so much and i cant think about how much it would devastate them if i did it,3.0
28299, oooh so hes gone to the trouble of tracking you down  he must be keen ,0.0
28300,im so tired and ill sleep now ,2.0
28301,le sad couldnt see anything in the dark 😩 you killed it tho queen,2.0
28302,bangerangian  pm the lakers play  well watch it there haha   ,0.0
28303,essrblc you can go to kabata if you can not no one can go there ,0.0
28304,is starting to find meats twitters slightly addictive ,0.0
28305,sorry i dont have any money ,2.0
28306,finished my first driving lesson ,0.0
28307,elavrov get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
28308,nobody understands i really really hate this godawful state im in right now i was always the listener among friends relatives i was always the one who you could count on if there was a problem or you needed help now that i told a few friendrelatives that i have depression  oh uh well just do something find a hobby college dropout and hobo jokes im tired of explaining what i really feel why do it when nobody cares  even if they do they cant image what it is like most people think im lazy and thats it sometimes i barely find the motivation to put a fucking sandwich or something together at this point this is not living anymore its just existing i feel nothing im empty ive forgot what it is like to be happy i dont wanna go out with friends every passing day it becomes more difficult to put a fake smile on my face once or twice i find myself at the bar and after one beer i say my goodbyes because i want to be alone in silence,3.0
28309,listening to onex by three days grace and tht cd rox my sox tee hee ,0.0
28310,this is the mets  game of the season that means including this game there are  left in the season ,2.0
28311,rt  todays youth are basically begging for schoolbased mental health services yet weve seen only one budget cut aft ,2.0
28312,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
28313,is jealous because theyre at ceds  ,2.0
28314,i miss guam driving over  hours to see friends really makes me miss my tiny island home ,2.0
28315,titan maximum department head meeting starting now see you all in  minutes   ,2.0
28316,i  bein in da hse all dayma mum jus wnts me  do bre chores ,2.0
28317, good morning   m,0.0
28318,im not the one who needs the help im not the one who needs help well in a way i doi need help helping my girlfriend lets call her mm and i have been together for over  now and pretty early on in the relationship she started to open up to me i was the first to know she cut herself i was the first to know when she was thinking about it i was the first one who actually caredm and i have been talking day in and day out but its all about how bad she feels and how scared she is to tell anyone else and how hard it was for her to tell me as m and i are talking now she just said she spends her time either sitting on her couch crying while hiding from her mom while theyre watching tv cutting herself thinking about cutting herself trying to kill herself or thinking about thative been through depression myself but nowhere near as bad as hers ive exhausted every single way i can think of to help hershes scared to tell her mom because she knows that shell be pissed m doesnt want that and itll only make it worse for herive tried to get her explore other options of help like therapists talking to other people  etc she knows she needs the help but she doesnt want it shes completely addicted to cutting herself and has told me that numerous times the last time she tried to end thingswas just over a week ago and i found out days after so i think theres a chance she mightve tried again and i just dont know itplease help me help her im completely out of options and ways to help her ,3.0
28319,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
28320,so self harms creeped its way back into my life xd so im  on medication for mostly chronic anxiety but depressions also quite severely surfaced again xdbeing bullied by my ex boyfriend and his friends isnt helping too much either 😅 my arms look like a tally chart of satans sacrifices 😅using bad humour as a coping mechanismokay thanks for listening to this pointless post,3.0
28321,it is finally here  we have moved over to a new site  the site is   check it out ,0.0
28322, i really need  more however  do they even make the  anymore  mac minis suck donkey balls ,2.0
28323,antholee im pretty sure g is leaving  i hate him,2.0
28324,falling down with you its been almost a year since i had my mental breakdown and landed in a hospital for  days inpatient and  weeks intensive outpatient i was  at the time now im  and things are just worse and worse i was diagnosed with high functioning autism aka aspergers  after the mental hospital and they let me come back to work until i had another breakdown and resigned from my faculty position i had moved from alabama to colorado for my dream job then i failed and moved back to my moms house in september of  i am just now getting insurance and need to look for doctors i should be back in the mental hospital i want to die i dunno why post this maybe there are other people like me i cannot get over this failure and i feel like a broken person and sometimes i feel paranoid or psychotic i am very alone and that can be good at times but i still want to have a life one day and i dont think i can i want to get an exit bag or find somewhere to be euthanized its been bad for  years i dont have anything left i had a girlfriend and cats and she took that all away when she cheated on me  years ago i am still very much in love with her i am surprised i have not tried to contact her shes the only person who ever held me and made me feel better when this kind of sadness hits me ,3.0
28325,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
28326,watching one tree hill   this show ,0.0
28327, candymaize tozaboma oh this twinkie thing is happening today salt and burn with pictures get ready ,0.0
28328,lovepuppy tempt me to what cream cheese spread im positive but thank you ,0.0
28329,im supposed to be making pies stupid cool whip is still thawing ,2.0
28330,i hate hayfever ,2.0
28331,probinly should get upbut so comfortable in bed ,2.0
28332,i am scared of heights yet my sis in law got me  do a killer high ziplinei survived ,0.0
28333,katierenshaw thanks katie they have a ton but all productspecific for not what im buying ,0.0
28334,mzbossymdment  it was that or take bus  hrs during the dayrather swimm with sharks,2.0
28335,b a n g b a n g g a n g bout to hit tha streets amp bring home a treat  watch me work lets go,0.0
28336,i feel like hanging out my friends ,2.0
28337,enjoying the weekend and all the naps ,0.0
28338,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
28339, damn got  be event  me  come see u ,2.0
28340,cavs imanshumpert kyrieirving nba im fucking stressed my anxiety is through the roof,2.0
28341,bigwillsmith will y didnt u take me with you ,2.0
28342,i cant finish this cereal its like never ending  wahhhhh,2.0
28343,its fucking rainin all day tomorrow probably no lake ,2.0
28344,finished college cant wait for uni now ,0.0
28345,depression the signs symptoms amp my story ,1.0
28346,very sad emoji hours ,2.0
28347,if i have failing tests autospec seems to not wait  must have something setup wrong ,2.0
28348,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
28349,im tired and dont want to exist anymore i took a mental health day from work today because the last few days have been a nightmare even though i took my antidepressant this morning i still feel miserablefriday i came out to my dad and he more or less rejected me refuses to acknowledge me for who i am so thats been weighing on my heartsaturday i found out i need to take my upcoming bonus and dump it into my car i was waiting on that to do something nice for myself to kinda brighten my spiritssunday i had a super shitty day at work severely understaffed bosses constantly bugging me a ton of work to get done by the end of the day i thought i was gonna have a meltdown i dread going back thereon top of all that im in love with my best friend my biggest support and hes seeing someone else im trying to be a good friend to him and to overcome my feelings for him im trying so hardi just want to die i wish i never existed ive been fighting this feeling of numbness pain perpetual sadness my entire life im so tired,3.0
28350,i dont see the point of not killing myself im currently a college student and i just dont see the point of living its not like i hate myself i just dont have anything i want to do now or in the future the only reason i havent is because i would hurt other peoples feelings and i dont want them to pity me im also incapable of making real emotional and human connections so i spend most of my time alone,3.0
28351,my biggest possible surprise debt is my car or dental that could get big 🇨🇦,1.0
28352,cant fucking sleep sunburn hurts heartburn amp fucking backyardigans sung stuck in my head gonna try the recliner  jessi ,2.0
28353,goatlady garlice is excellent in such cases  from me ,0.0
28354,rt  i n f l u e n c e r swhen aldub started it gave me the opportunity to touch more lives — naamplify yung reach namin ni,0.0
28355,ignored with no idea why i was in love with a guy and he started ignoring about  weeks ago and i have no idea why i wonder if maybe he found someone else to replace me i mean im not very lovable in the first place nor attractive,3.0
28356,inaires awesome cant wait to see it ,0.0
28357,pricelesst i am madd at thatworking ,2.0
28358,driving to work  wow its monday again ,0.0
28359,on ramsey st  thats so rad dropped my camera ,2.0
28360,gary you so owe me for not letting your room get pranked best senior prank eva ,0.0
28361,here i am at  in the morning i have to get up  to get ready for school i have a driving lesson tomorrow costing my parents more money for something im never going to make my sleep schedule is fucked this has been my second or third breakdown since the new year started and i refuse to tell anyone about it cuss i will rather tear myself appart cell by cell then hurt my friend,3.0
28362,jonitchr and i hope and believe that she still does ,0.0
28363,subperceptual thank you dear i love quotangels meditationquot too  good morning,0.0
28364, detroiti cant do this im gonna take a breakim sick  just fucking score,2.0
28365,need to get myself back now what the fuck is wrong with mei actively loathe myself i have every quality i hatei cant see myself through others eyes and am so self centered and depressed that i act out and try to step on people because im so insecurei interrupt lie cheat abandon and ignoreavoid others and self aggrandize i am an asshole i do these things because i hate myself dont believe in myself feel like i need to prove myself and think i am worthlessi hate myself dont believe in myself feel like i need to prove myself and think i am worthless because i do these thingshow do i stop this cycle so i can stop hurting myself and other peoplei am deep in collections just got fired from the second job in a row with low savingsbad spending habits and high rent i abandoned my ex and  yo son only blood i have am adopted orphan to pursue my career so i could save my life was about to kill myself after the hell of my divorce and afford to take care of them i just started a company and am doing really well and am about to get funded and have high potential but i think i cant pull it together to see it throughi want to throw myself in front of the next train i stand in front of i have to pull myself away every time but each time i toe closerplease what do i do so i dont kill myself or ruin my life even more im actually scared of how bad i can ruin my own life i used to play the ropes perfectly but now i dont have the self esteem to not look down ive pulled myself out of this before but i always had the self esteem to at least ignore the voice in my head and the doubts of othershow do i get myself back,3.0
28366,adityamishra infiniti on weekends is absolute chaos and noisy to the extreme ,0.0
28367,lucashardy it doesnt look good on a pc  the layout that is,2.0
28368,clearlyso you might well think so ,0.0
28369,proudloony but which one ,0.0
28370,dealing with public harassment it seems that everywhere i go people are call me nuts it used to get to me and make me angry but now im mostly calm around that kind of behaviorit seems people are purposefully trying to get a reaction from me ive tried telling people off and nothing seems to work this sounds crazy but i hear people yelling at me specifically women saying the same kinds of things this has been going on for about  months listen i can tell you that im not a perfect human being but at most i just have mild anxiety and social anxiety ive been learning to live comfortably with it but it happens at my home at my college i feel like no human being should have to live through this its made me grow cold as a human being i no longer want to partake in social occasions or get involved with people in general it used to make me depressed but ive learned to be happy on my own i mean did i do something to these people  like shit i feel like theyre treating me as if i did something heinous idk its gotten to the point where my family does it too i feel hopeless but like i said ive learned to be happy while it happens i just ignore and ignore but it adds unnecessary stress to my life i feel as if these people are testing me and with that in mind i just ignore the hell out of them i will stress this again  no person should have to go through this ive tried being an asshole passive freakingout telling people to stop but it doesnt end it seems that the calmer i become around them the more intense the behavior of others becomes at first i thought it was all in my head but ive had people come upto me say something and then proceed to call me nuts this has gotten so bad that my university professors do it to me it has me thinking i should sue the college for harassment just thinking that makes me feel weak that i have to resort to law or a colleges code of conduct to recieve peoples ignorance idk i just want my life to go back to what it used to be im not trying to start problems with anyone im not afraid to stand up to people though so if anyone has any tips theyre gladly welcome,3.0
28371,jonasbrothers     i wish i was there  im soooo sad you are not coming to greece  i love you soooo much ,2.0
28372, holy cow batman you have over  followers  im not even at  yet   you rock,2.0
28373,do i have depression or am i subconsciously doing it for attention so hey im trying to process the title in my head am i depressed i mean i dont feel particularly sad but you know apparently feeling anxious lethargic being unmotivated are symptoms of depression too but am i doing this because subconsciously im craving attention i mean im actively trying to make sure no one thinks im depressed but am i doing that because i think theyll figure it out and give me attention or i am overthinking things am i writing this post because i think someone will notice and console me am i doing this for attention i dunno part of me wants to post this to see if anyone else feels like this the other part thinks its a ploy for attention honestly i dont know i keep feeling like everything i do is some secret ploy for attention to feed my undeserved ego ,3.0
28374,nuvanynice i dmd you  ,0.0
28375,mupnorth yes he was ,0.0
28376,anyone else lost the ability to cry except for random sad things you encounter which dont even have anything to do with me ive been feeling incredibly shitty for  years now but i could never actually cry about it and then i read the wikipedia article on the voyager golden record yesterday and there was something in there about them including some brain waves of how it feels to fall in love and that made me feel so weird and sad that i just started crying,3.0
28377,what should i do  okay so im your average teenager i have amazing friends a boyfriend who is always there for me a supportive family and decent grades but im diagnosed with depression anxiety and adhd i have history with self harm i had a recent relapse about a week ago and im in counseling for my mental health i dont have any history of suicidal attempts which is what my post is about im feeling suicidal but im not going to harm myself anytime soon i mean i think hey im better off dead but i know i wont act on it or at least i dont think i will i noticed im also getting bad again im losing motivation in everything im withdrawn i dont eat as much anymore im more cynical and pessimist which i already am to begin with and im crying evey night im starting to feel empty and numb again and my and thoughts are coming back i feel like im going through a depressive episode or more like the beginning of one,3.0
28378,recently found out who i am and i dont like it in the past two months my depression has been getting worse and my motivation is nearly gone although ive found out who i am due to my constant internet browsing and talking to myself to put it simply i hate myself and feel more alone than ever before i have no one to turn to with my worst problem which isnt my depression but something else and i feel like itll consume me when im older im too young i know too many morbid and sexual things and its killing me it used to be a coping technique rather than selfharm that i dont want to do again i wish i could press restart or just be forgotten i dont want to be a horrible person when im older and i dont want to live like this or at all,3.0
28379,pedrogaspar i thought i was the only one with quottabitisquot  i get quotattachedquot to the open tabs with articles code etc ,2.0
28380,why do people think i am a criminal or creep why are people always thinking i am some sort of thuglow lifepurse snatchercar thiefterroristrapistkidnappercreep i always leave the house in jeans or khakis and a polo or collar shirt and combed hair smelling goodis it my skin coloris it my social skillsis it the way i walkis it my facefacial expressionis it my glassesis it a combination,3.0
28381,increased my dose of bupropion and now all of my thoughts are fears of dying i cannot wake up go about my day or go to sleep without thinking about my death and how quickly i feel as though it is approaching time feels like its just marching towards an inevitable dark ending with nothing to look back on everything feels pointless now ive never felt like this before not until i went from  of bupropion to  last saturday has anyone had these problems as well on this medication,3.0
28382,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
28383,kaffenissen yes i think you probably should worry ,0.0
28384,areonlee aha yes but im doing sociology for one of my exams on tuesday atm ,2.0
28385, me included ,2.0
28386,whenever things start to look up something always happens to make me want to commit again why cant things go smooth for more than a few weeks at most,3.0
28387,iamtatii and omq ur not folliwin me ,2.0
28388,rt louisavisserl it is so sad that the dutch pby catalina needs to leave the netherlands because it costs to much money i hope she also,1.0
28389,rt isxrsa im sad and horny someone hold my hand and give me reassurance as we fuck please 😪,0.0
28390,zero sex drive i could make a really long list of the things depression and mental illness have taken from me but the biggest fuck you has been my sex drive i have no libido none i can force my equipment to work if i take viagra but there is no real desire behind it i have switched medications  times to work on this and insisted my doc put me on testosterone and still nothing sometimes i can muster up the energy to masturbate to deal with anxiety or insomnia but even that has become almost impossible im married and this is a huge relationship issue as well am i the only one,3.0
28391,lisaigotyou ok you should let  know about this maybe we can convince her to go lol ,0.0
28392,just want to say some things im feeling really low today normally on my low days i can at least browse reddit or facebook to distract myself thats not even working today i am not enjoying my the tv show ive been watching i turned it on but have not even been paying attention i dont know what to do i was doing okay earlier but can feel it washing over me i may go clean to feel like im doing anything but i dont really have the energy for it whats your go to,3.0
28393,kayyt im so excited   be there everyone,0.0
28394,xenophiliac thanks a lot ,0.0
28395,with or without me you will be okay amp knowing that is the happiest sad story ever,0.0
28396,long day now very tired ,2.0
28397,just found my old geocities email what too bad i cant log in ,2.0
28398,the coffee maker broke at the studio this is like the saddest day ever  fml ,2.0
28399,trying to get off duloxetine i guess i dont get to sleep for a while getting nightmares and sweats every night im a little traumatized by the depths of my brain and its ability to not only generate disturbing material but also link it to longforgotten nostalgia just got zapped awake from an epic saga of falling various things trying to kill me gigantic spiders lost friends etc only to find that just a couple hours have passed i havent had any withdrawals this unfortunate from any of the dozen other medications ive taken for the last  years,3.0
28400,msteenamarie recollection has  ls and only  c after the first e you were so close tho  ,0.0
28401,stay busy ive struggled with deppression for about  years now and only a few things have helped me manage everyones gonna tell you diet exercise and medication meds didnt work for me they make me numb no emotion and make it near impossible to write music diet and exercise definitely have helped a lot mainly diet i exercise very little even though i should i know these things are hard but just a little effort towards just one of them every day can make a huge difference im working on cutting out sugar and started fasting schedules its hard and id cut off a limb for a pack of those peanut butter soft bake grandmas cookies but its helpingthe biggest thing that has helped me though is staying busy as much as possible keep your mind off the depression cause for me its a loop that is easy to get stuck in even if its just cleaning or reading up on something your interested in the internet is amazing you can learn almost anything and connect with almost anyone on it it can be negative though especially for people with depression facebook instagram etc so do your best to avoid those or at least use them in a way that help not harm you a couple things ive done and been doing is i released my own ep back in july it took  years of playing an instrument and a year of writing music learning how to record and constantly doubting myself but i managed to get it done i work  hours a week its not the best job but it could be worse it took a long time to find a job i could do and a lot of wanting to stay home in bed as an obstacle but i got it figured out im also working on starting a company with a friend their are very few people ive met in life that id feel comfortable doing this with but im lucky to have a chance to take this opportunity with a friend all these things have been a huge struggle doinggetting done but now that i have them as distractions ive noticed how much they help deal with depression i still get really down and i still struggle but this is how i manage stay busy from when i wake up to when i go to bed this sub has been a huge help and support so i just wanted to post this and hope it helps someone out keep your head up guys you have depression but it does not have youtldr stay busy stay productive treat your mind and body well i know its hard but its possible ,3.0
28402,where is everybody ,2.0
28403,i really need to start cging but i have to finish this background ,2.0
28404,gdgofficial thanks for the concert last night it was awesome come back soon ,0.0
28405,i stayed up till  to make sure i got facebookcomsupersenior  ,0.0
28406,lovelamps and i cant do chat today  no sexy tsp and iker for me today,2.0
28407,slushies at sonic with courtney and pablo to bad its not half price happy hour thomas sorry to hear about the back ,2.0
28408,janellmalkin say quothiquot to bernice for me ,0.0
28409,after prepping the dining room last night and then all afternoon today we are about two and a half hours away from painting ,2.0
28410,decided to watch night at the museum i made a good decision cuz it was hilarious the three cherubs were so cute ,0.0
28411,ewwww gross  its going to be in the mid  this week i want more june gloom and dark dreary weather   ,2.0
28412,jubeign  years old im feeling old ,2.0
28413,jerryremy hi john  you have a nice voicelove the accent  i think you have a great idea in the works  ,0.0
28414,brenden i miss when gas was around   ,2.0
28415,bshepjr hey thanks  im feelin some kinda way tonight ,0.0
28416,hes now in buffalohe just called ,2.0
28417,swimming and eating chips and salsa great combo ,0.0
28418,i downloaded an app that lets me watch flights im obsessing i miss her ,2.0
28419,swannny morning sweet happy now ,0.0
28420,i think guitar hero has lost a lot of its magic for me it just does not feel special anymore ,2.0
28421,oohim gonna face histology exam at  amwish me luck everyone ,0.0
28422,goodly morning twitterlings hope everyone has a  day ,0.0
28423,kcneon i like it too especially since it cost  since she borrowed it from a friend ,0.0
28424,has sunburnt badly on her back and shoulders ,2.0
28425,jayxtreme were having fish it came from the deep freeze ,0.0
28426,holy laxman hits a six  ,0.0
28427,hayragg that would be me senior  but my account got fixed right after i used his account to own all of you so im back here ,0.0
28428,i need to my a friggin memory card for my phone  thats the  thing u cant replace when ur phone is lost or stolen ,2.0
28429,hungry i wanna go to ihop but there is no one to go with ,2.0
28430,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
28431,so i had this officemate whos constantly hugging me tight earlier when i was in the locker area he said to me  ,0.0
28432,twilightnewsman thanks for mentioning me on followfriday thas so sweet ill let you know how the twilight event went ,0.0
28433,rt jjongasflowers you can have some days where you just sleep and cry and let it happen you can postpone things your mental health is,1.0
28434,wasatchgirl yeah im just an atm for howardlindzon  hell be bummed to see that the account is overdrawn ,0.0
28435,theres nothing to cook here no eggs no milk what am i going to do  plus im broke so i cant go buy anything,2.0
28436,acepower im good thanks sorry for my late replies im studying hard how are you  x,0.0
28437,bethenny take them down b the de classe hohos  you rock my pine tree pal ,0.0
28438,waxinglyrical paperbag  i think its for hyperventilation not asthma im a little better now thanks ,0.0
28439,rt heroghosts for some reason ive been getting a lot of anxiety about posting art and sketches starting back with some simpl ,1.0
28440,sinnamonlove im really digging what you are doing ms lovei hope i can be a great dad like you are a great mom ,0.0
28441,im  home and its the san juan night here  pr and i really wanted to go to the beach and celebrate ,2.0
28442,rt nandossa simthola kanjani lo sisi weguys rt to save a life ,2.0
28443,mariamunozt musica sad☹️,2.0
28444,rebeccagoings so sorry   safe travels,2.0
28445,im just trying to get to the next day sometimes i want help sometimes i think it wont make a difference the days i want to get help are becoming fewer and fewer i am just trying to get to the end of this semester but its so hard i cant tell my professors whats on my mind and i feel like i am more concerned about how my grades will fair and finishing my masters at any cost this work used to make me happy and now it causes nothing but hurt cause i cant give it my full attention and heart i feel like ive been coping and trying to make it to the next day for years now its exhausting people tell me i should feel lucky blessed happy to have this chance and opportunity i want to i try to but i cant ,3.0
28446,just took a celebrity compatibility test  jason  michael phelps  haley joel osmenti kid you not  i knew i loved jason segel,0.0
28447,shanemurphy it must be the mugshot ,0.0
28448,dinosolos this makes me so sad hes so cute i hope ur happy gt,0.0
28449,chriistyy they sell it at taco bell cantina 😅 and thats sad the sodas garbage but the freeze is fucking delicious 😩,1.0
28450,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
28451,i dont understand myself i sometimes feel ok but even saying those four words is difficultits like if i admit even a little bit that i occasionally feel positive people around me wont think that something is actually wrong with me they wont be likely to helpso i pretend like something is wrong not intentionally not even consciously im starting to wonder what the extent of it is do i not find anything funny or do i refuse to laugh in case someone thinks im getting better do i hate talking to people or do i subconsciously try to get out of conversations and make people think depression is getting me downi know that this attitude can make me worse but i cant seem to get away from it my mother was just like this though hers was unbridled misery she didnt even attempt to reign it in and brought everyone around her down seemingly intentionally the past few years ive gotten a little better at not expressing negativity but ive forgotten how to be silly have fun and enjoy things intrinsically and it was only today that i realized what ive been doing all these years im now a very serious person even in my head nothing is funny nothing is fun it is mostly calculated and cold the rest is sad or fearfuli think ive managed to convince myself how bad off i am and it may not even be true i believe  of my current sad state is due to the thought that i am bad off and if i could just forget about that thought i might be fineim pretty sure its true because when i sit here not thinking i dont feel anything outright negative painful or fearful its only when i try to do something and i feel a weight saying dont even try it wont bring you any happiness anyway or i hear the thoughts saying if only i could feel better and that last one repeats as a mantra in my head all day every day i just cant seem to forget about it,3.0
28452,fiederels hehei do like my cups of tea ,0.0
28453,if my account does get rewound because of the xbl data it will happen early this week  and i wont have time to reuse it ,2.0
28454, another wembley date please i cant get tickets ,2.0
28455,the soloist was bleh ,2.0
28456,pgreenbe exactly folks blame crm because they think that automation wud lead to  sales i dont want that happening again  scrm,2.0
28457,samclarke flip a coin  it works for me ,0.0
28458,cool tips  you dont have to do all the programming work  use google it helps a lot you might be astonished how generous people can be,0.0
28459,tammey soooo many missing people tammey ,2.0
28460,at the beach with the jesster ,0.0
28461,drmomentum thats too bad because your comments are always insightful ,0.0
28462,bored and misses someone ,2.0
28463,i miss emiwee  i miss her a lotz,2.0
28464,math   i have written my audit in math it was so  i hope it was okay,2.0
28465,i need vanessa hudgens hair ,2.0
28466,shhh dont tell anyone about the secret feminist messages in the drag me to hell poster see if you can find them ,0.0
28467,school day is done  lets work ,0.0
28468,doesnt have tonsillitus but has a weird virus thing oo i get swine flu shouted at me alot ,0.0
28469,mileycyrus hey kido if it makes you feel better my dog was just hit by a truck and is now dead so im in rough shape too ,2.0
28470,beckyfearns yessss it isss bethh used too get themm  uu might neeed to wear urr giggs more tooo x,0.0
28471,in a lazy sunday just had a very late lunchand forget to buy prwere on page  ,0.0
28472,my beloved dlink stopped working have ordered new powersupply from hong kong on ebay ,0.0
28473,eeshkapeesh the whole green thing messed up my pic ,2.0
28474,beautiful morning in the bosque tamaya would enjoy it more if it werent for the bad nachos last night ,2.0
28475,pain in my leg ,2.0
28476,hoemar i cant take the anxiety ,2.0
28477,i thought it was someone impersonating you  re ,0.0
28478,freakonomy ghalib itna cool nahi hai ,2.0
28479,thats so sad her parents are dead alexa play infinity war credits,2.0
28480,sparkledonkey the second he started posting about moving in the subscriber section i thought of you guys ,2.0
28481,cant wait to download that summer nights performance off youtube  im at camp and dont have a tv sorry guys ,2.0
28482,is having a delicious cookie dough milkshake excited for allisons performance on tuesday ,0.0
28483,stupidly squashed my finger with a weight at the gym this morning bit bruised now ,2.0
28484,kill bill pt  i love em both wish they wold make like three more ,0.0
28485,rt elliebelliee sometimes i worry about eun jiwon amp depression which is why im so happy hes back w sechskies you see him smile li ,1.0
28486,is constantly in the worse lane while driving sitting on the  ,2.0
28487,i feel so sad rn c,1.0
28488,kristinstewart sherrieshepherd gave the link for brento httpwwwbrentozarcomtwitter he gives twitter tips hope this helps ,0.0
28489,jonasbrothers sports center  hmmmokyou got me curious nowcareer move  just kiddinglol      have a great day,0.0
28490,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
28491,danielabo what time is your exam why are you so weird and wake up xxxtremly early nah just couldnt sleep had a headache ,2.0
28492,please help i have tried citalopram fluoxetine venlafaxine sertraline and now mirtazipine with olanzapine and nothing is curing my severe anhedonia please recommend prescription medication only,3.0
28493,selfies on snapchat gt selfies on iphone camerai swear the difference in the photos give me the worst anxiety like if thats my face fml,1.0
28494,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
28495,ed mcmahon dead at   lt watch  rip,2.0
28496,its a new day a new week the end of one thing the beginning of a new thing amp the start of a smiling new era that has already began ,0.0
28497,hates his pills oh god why do they have to taste so fuckin horrible  liter of coke to flush them down isnt even enough ,2.0
28498,why are people so shtty i dont get it i dont understand people who have to point out every single thing youve ever done wrong and then go and lie to other people and to people you were friends with and make them hate you too like what do people get from making other people themselves like yeah maybe words shouldnt affect me but they do and im breaking ,3.0
28499,calm down karen i have depression ,2.0
28500,goodnight aluciel and tikkamadsen  go to bed its late p,0.0
28501, home putting away laundry im one hell of a party animal on a friday night   more dayyys,2.0
28502,is girls aloud tonight ,0.0
28503,gracefh ive sent her a message on facebook  i havent heard from her since earlier  im worried ,2.0
28504,in theory we could get proflowers in trouble with a fun little canspam complaint  jhoysi adventuregrrl,0.0
28505,happy bday tupac ,0.0
28506,clairelovesabcs yesh and i love it hahaha we are freaks  come home soon so we can play hahahahahaha,0.0
28507,good morning ,0.0
28508, what up  still gotta finish that convo ,0.0
28509,watching the nanny diariesand hoping the new family is going to be nothing like the one in the movie ,0.0
28510, telling me too much info  haha make sure ur following him amp tell folks to follow though  pwease we gotta make em as popular as us,0.0
28511,not a fan of chinese food anymore  making rororoyourboat a facebook she cant work a computer,2.0
28512,levoskitb its really sad hate can carry forward like that to a child who had no choice to be brought into this world,1.0
28513,whats the refresh key for macbook im too used to spamming  ,2.0
28514,dannylavillegas ha ha ha last year this time i was a beast speaking of prego ladies i couldnt eat then i cant eat now  ,2.0
28515,wants dq ,2.0
28516, sorry youre ill mate ,2.0
28517,will someone please enlighten me as to what an all hands meeting is looking at you johnski but open to all answers ,0.0
28518,flats done on to the shading and making this thing look actually presentable ,0.0
28519,life being too easy makes it hard humans in the past had to put in some effort to survive especially on a social level they lived in closely knit tribes that helped each other and worked together finding a partner was essential to the future of that tribe and gave motivation to make the relationships worknow all we really have to do is sell our bodies for a couple of hours a day to survive most people do jobs they dont care about or benefit from directly but only get a set number of funds in their bank accounts at the end of the month everything else we do are social constructs that have survived from past times when they were relevantim not saying modern social rules are all stupid and i think capitalism is probably the best system for the insane amount of different people around today but i feel were alienated from our human nature,3.0
28520,what type of exercise do you find most beneficial i am curious as to what kind of exercise people have found to help most with their symptoms of depression long jogs lifting weights etc do you notice a difference if you exercise say every morning vs a few times a week please share your experiencenote while some people have remarkable success treating their depression with physical exercise i understand that for many people it simply doesnt make a difference or their illness is so bad that just getting out of bed takes a superhuman effort let alone jumping on a treadmill or going for a walk depression is very complex and varies in its symptoms and severity from case to case and i dont view exercise as a miracle cure—rather one of many therapies that can be used to help combat depression  ,3.0
28521,the black dog has caught up to me i have been hiding it my whole life and controlling it quite well now it has caught up fast and i just feel extremely depersonalized i struggle to sleep with these depressing thoughts in my head and i want to cry but it just does not come out things that go wrong have started to lead towards dark thoughts even when small issues occur i am quite a lonely person only really sit at home and play games or go to the gym if im not working my full time job the feeling of loneliness hits me too often and the thought of never having been in a relationship or possibly never experiencing one is what haunts me the most i just dont know what help to seek and could really do with some advice and motivation i know that i am only a young soul at  however i just seem to be feeling worse and worse please help me,3.0
28522,ted thompson sucks ass  ,0.0
28523,eating lottaburger and jamming to fireflight ,0.0
28524,need some kind words hey i just need to get some stuff off of my chesti dont feel great my most meaningful friendships are crumbling and it hurts my chest physically hurts i just want to be loved but couldnt possibly feel less loved than i do now i just need somebody to tell me its going to be okay im going to be okay and that everything will work out sorry if this just an obnoxious rant,3.0
28525,kobe youre the best kobe youre the best kobe youre the best kobe youre the best youre best la will ever have  like that remix,0.0
28526,morning guys sorry i fell asleep on u ,0.0
28527,graduation dayyy im so proud of my cousins love u both getting readddy ,0.0
28528,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
28529,done with bm amp had indomee ,0.0
28530,life in bed is lonely without your pup but mine is afraid of me ,2.0
28531,in hk nowthe flight was okwatched hes just not that into youjustin long ,0.0
28532,bye claire have a nice flight   ,2.0
28533,emilyosment no emily please dont ruin your career trying to become a legit singer please ,2.0
28534,i just hate myself i havent had a day like today in awhile ive been trying to improvement physically so hopefully that will follow into mentallybut im having a day where i know it wont even mattereven if i lost weight i know i would still be fucking hideous my face is just not cute i dont even look feminine i just look weird i see my best friend who has her own problems and obstacles but she is intelligent as all heck and honestly beautiful i know you shouldnt compare yourself to others but i feel a slight disconnect from her because i feel too stupid to communicate with her on anything that isnt fluff i feel like my memory is getting terrible and im only in my maybe thats from being unemployed and not going to school or anythingmy brain is becoming mushand then i look at my younger family members and im jealous im jealous that they have a future ahead of them and are going to have a normal life they have friends and are going to experience life meanwhile i spent most of my days at home with  friends mad and didnt have a fun school experience because i was quiet and shy and hated myself why do i have to be me i cant even talk to people i just want to hide from everyone i hate when people come over because i have nothing to say because genuinely i dont do anything and im barely a person im just ranting here,3.0
28535,lickskittles  want to but id crash and die,2.0
28536,not going to see hm movie today because my bff cant go ,2.0
28537, thats a relief ,0.0
28538,wish i was on holidayssssss ,2.0
28539,kfc  mtv movie awards ,0.0
28540,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay ,2.0
28541,didnt realise kimi opened a ferrari store in london i need to go see this at some point ,0.0
28542,bullying abuse depression rtsibling abuse impacts adulthood visit us at  ,2.0
28543,histoireqc stop in the name of love ,0.0
28544,s car got broken into yesterday ,2.0
28545,jordanknight  having cereal as a midnight snack thought of you and your honey nut cheerios ,0.0
28546,ihateshinigami hey i was thinking about getting on cbd oil do you recommend it for someone who has depression a ,2.0
28547, keys are multifunctional ,0.0
28548,dirty feet ewww showertime then onto my  day challenge of ea sports not looking forward to it ,2.0
28549,watch kamikaze may on a brexit suicide mission spamageddon comrade may leader of the democracy threate on youtu ,2.0
28550,rt bxzerqz i would never change my name to depression if i was actually sad guys just sayin,2.0
28551,danwhitley heck i feel left out by the kitty ,0.0
28552,im alone ive been feeling hella sad lately my mom and dad are nearly divorced living in separate houses im always in the middle of them fighting i dont have a job and i just turned  also dont have a car my mom checked out when i was still in highschool so i never had anyone to teach me to drive and i still dont i only have  close friends and  relatively close friends but  of them live together and they all have their owns lives so i dont i cant blame them for being busy im just so alone i feel like a loser because i dont have anything going on in my life i dont have a job car family friends or just overall a life i try my best to make everyone laugh and make people happy but u cant put a smile on my own face i met these people on xbox who i thought were my homies but lately theyve been kicking me out of the parties because im not their irl friend and that just killed me my life has been falling apart for years now but i just now noticed it i always try and be happy go lucky but when lately its just been so hard telling myself that i have stuff going for me i feel so alone and just useless compared to everyone else i just feel like an optional side quest or like roman in gta  i put myself out there but i end up being let down and turned down im so alone,3.0
28553,satch has arrived ,0.0
28554, do you only swear once a month i have twitterettes syndrome lmao i swear loads more on ere than in real life  lol,0.0
28555,chiropractic ha you are my hero weekend stats looking good over here lots of people dreading their job come monday searching  new  ,0.0
28556,what a rubbish day ahead work til half  then revision all evening ,2.0
28557,at a point where dying seems ok ive been dealing with depression for the past four years of my life but as bad as it would get i would always try to look to the future and how things would get better but lately things have gotten so bad that the idea of dying is ok if i am dead i dont have to deal with the stress and the anxiety and the messy situations it feels like the minute things start looking up something even worse happens i was in a really dark place this summer and i started feeling happier and coming out it recently and was genuinely happy but now in an instant my happiness is being taken away because of something that happened and i just dont wanna live a life like this anymore sorry if this doesnt make sense im just too sad to think or do anything anymore ,3.0
28558,retweeting shufflegazine exciting news shufflegazine will be supporting media for gitex in dubai starting october  ,0.0
28559,kiryne omg i just realise what you mean  die,2.0
28560,rt gcftexts im really heart broken and devastated and i know we are all sad but please do not trend anything sensor his name give hi,1.0
28561,barelyyjoyous haha thanks but i still like shaggy clown the best my phone cant do it ,2.0
28562,hi saildivebvi  loved your photos of silhouetted divers coming down the shot line to the rhone nice work  whats the wreck itself like,0.0
28563,i hate driving now but other people driving me gives me even more anxiety 🙄,1.0
28564,tafoxxd awww im going to miss you  now im sad ,2.0
28565,i just had chinese so yumm but now soo full ate tooooo much ,2.0
28566,another depression post under the mostly anonymous nature of the internet i wanted to talk about my experience with depressioni never really had a reason to be depressed by any means my life is good i have friends i have a very loving family im well off and there have been no significant enough events in my life to cause this depressionthe most i know is that the less sleep i get the more depressed i tend to feel back when i was in high school and sleeping terribly i had some serious depressive episodes but they almost felt good even back then that i was enjoying feeling sad and searching for ways to make myself feel bad because it felt strangely good but when i slept well over the course of about a month it went away and it never came back and i was happy i was happy feeling happy and glad it was gone it was a strange thing to look back on but i moved onsince then every time i miss a significant amount of sleep within a certain time frame the depression creeps back when i sleep well consistently it goes away and i feel happy i felt like i had control and managed to sleep well for the majority of my life since those times years ago i knew logically that feeling happy was obviously better than feeling depressed and for a while that was enough to keep me sleeping wellbut lately ive found myself wanting to fall back whenever i stay up a little late via work or something else important i start wanting to just stay up later sleep less push myself back into the depressive state i know will come even though i know ill be much happier just maintaining sleep i always want to push myself deeper and deeper in terms of why i dont know maybe im desiring sadness an emotion i dont often if ever feel or perhaps i just like to victimize myself maybe i feel comfortable in the terrible idiotic incoherent state im in while tired somehowfor is the first time in about a year ive slept poorly the entire last week all intentional with the idea of pushing myself further into depression but this desire to push myself towards depression has become worrying enough for me to post about it anonymously though not worrying enough yet to alert the people who may overreact family etc any thoughts reddit users,3.0
28567,saw star trek againeven better the  time  kirk is growing on me hard to resist those big blue eyes spock still rocks too ,0.0
28568,finally got my meds right and then this when im by myself i find tears just seem to effortlessly roll down my cheeks i replay the worst of the worst moments in my head and wonder which one really was the one that broke me i used to be such a happy person one bad moment by itself i could handle but each one reminds me of the last and it just gets worse and worsej dont know if that makes any sense im afraid of saying too muchi cant talk to anyone i dont know where to start i dont know what to say but i know i need to reach out for helpand now my coworkers my friends my team is hurting the nightmare we all prepared for happened they did an amazing job and now we are going through the aftermath i want to give my all to make us whole again but i am so broken down i dont have much to give and i see the nightmare still all over the news facebook everyone wants to talk about it everyone wants to feel about it and i just want to hide away i dont know what to do,3.0
28569,soooo exhausted ,2.0
28570,youricarma hi i was busy at work yesterday did not c ur tweets hope ur roof is fixed ,0.0
28571,personally i think the high ranking iranian politiciansclerics dont want to give up the system and are using people to fight for power ,2.0
28572,celts are on tnt tonight   tell me i can stream it on the web,2.0
28573,crispies yeah sorry about robby   wow tony almost had it but im happy for mark,2.0
28574,that last goodbye was too nothing ,2.0
28575,mileycyrus r u d real miley cyrusor just fake ,2.0
28576,depression is a bitch i just want to sleep for like  years,0.0
28577,a night out with the girls just what the doc ordered  ,0.0
28578,i dont know what caused my depression though i found some symptoms that i have i may have depression but how did it caused it though,3.0
28579,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
28580,got my geulis car back got my  back still no money still no good mood still not well but im alive ,0.0
28581,uggghhh i want to help a friend that i cant help ,2.0
28582,honestlynot necessarily high achievers in massthe clinician kno abt them bcs in most cases they can afford therap ,0.0
28583,semanticwill im hoping someone will pick one up for me next week otherwise ill hit you up for one  thanks,0.0
28584,dougiemcfly please please please say hey to elliemcfly she loves you pleaseee  xo,0.0
28585,i have no one i was just put out on the streets by the last person i had tonight i wish i had someone to talk to im  i was content with life but then january happened i had a seizure at work on to the flat top grill suffered  burns and was locked up for a warrant for my arrest the legal troubles are not the problem but they are a start i have been living with my girlfriend in the same apartment for  years now and tonight she put me out on the street with what little belongings i could grab i have nothing when i went to jail her parents thought she left me well i never left the apartment we started making amends she wanted me there st pattys night she didnt come home until  tonight she told her parents i was hiding in a bush and forced my way into the house ive been there for  years i have an ankle monitor on theres gps proof where ive been but because of this i lost everything i had a job interview tomorrow i lost that opportunity i was getting back on my feet i thought i was making progress now im deeper in the hole than ive ever been i dont know what to do anymore my brain is fried depression has overcome me i feel numb i dont care what happens anymore i just want it all to stop,3.0
28586,i cant take this shit anymore my family says that im a failure and dont give a shit about me all my friends turned their backs on me im getting shitty grades at school with no signs of improvement and even my teachers hate me all i do is lay in bed and stare at nothing god fucking dammit weeks ago all was going fine after several years strugglin with depression i finnaly felt happy and wanted to live but i guess nothing lasts foreverpain is my only emotioni cant do shit about iti arrived at a point that i cant take anymore all the abuse that i took in my childhood and all the bullshit in the last year i dont have a little self esteemim fucking done this is not going to get betteri want to end my fucking miserable life right fucking now but im top much of a bitch to hang my self or to jump off a bridgeif this is my life then i dont want to be a part of it anymore,3.0
28587,today is rainy so it is perfect for indoor chores that have been put off  so off to clean the house ,2.0
28588,true blood true blood yeah really nice movie ,0.0
28589,just realised i have depression yesterday and suddenly everything in my life started to make i have this cycle where i will enter a place online make some friends and then explode at some point and have a complete breakdown wash rinse repeat yesterday i realised i probably have depression and this has been going on for yearsi felt like my whole world just crumbled around me i was the first responder when my older sister committed suicide back in june that cant have helped me whatsoever i am going to turn twenty soon next month how can i be an adult in a world that barley understands this problemhowever i have people who will help me overcome this my friends and family i told my roommates last night and they were nothing but supportive my mother is working on getting me some help here in solcal so things should be looking up for me sooni am not going to let this thing beat me or control my life anymore i am going to overcome it and become the person i want to be,3.0
28590,loves glee but just when i thought ive found something to fill in the absence of gg and chuck realized that glee wont be out til fall ,2.0
28591,oh woah i do not hook up up ,0.0
28592,puppaz maybe the wrong word to sayim german remember  i cant express myself very well in english,0.0
28593,mrsnasirjones lmaoi was not expecting that ,0.0
28594,i think about suicide everyday but for really petty reasons like a girl not liking me i feel like im just never going to be with anyone and will be one of those sad fucks who ask where they can find womeni dont understand why we work our whole life hate  of it and then just keep going with it as far as i can see its people loving their wifehusband and kids that keeps them alive i dont see that ever happening to mereally the only thing keeping me from killing myself is that you cant easily get a gun in britain and i cant possibly bestow such guilt and pain on my family,3.0
28595,jonasbrothers   aww  cute dog ,0.0
28596,verofofo hmmgot the brown sugar and ice no vodka or lime though  sounds yum anyway am loving this new world of cocktails ,2.0
28597,mjapple have a nice day ,0.0
28598,i was involved in my first proper emergency today also gutted that shaun smith didnt win britains got talent  x,2.0
28599,my sleeping schedual is getting much better  im hoping tomorrow is good goodnightz ,0.0
28600,ecori wieso alt ,0.0
28601,good morning sunshine ,0.0
28602,im too stubborn to pull the trigger pulling the trigger is losing i wont lose i dont lose ,3.0
28603,the party is finish  no yet it was fun ,0.0
28604,once my new phone comes today im out  ill see you tweetie pies in a few days i need a drink and some sun hahaha,0.0
28605,watching golden girls on the hallmark channel rest in peace bea arthur you were and always will be my favorite golden girl ,2.0
28606,back in holland ,2.0
28607,damn too much chilli in my chilli ,2.0
28608,awesomefrank  my fault what is,2.0
28609,jaaaaae awwwwww yayyyy  im genuinely mad happy right now good luck mama seahorse,0.0
28610,how can i help my family member going through depression she has talked about attempting suicide and i dont know what to do anymore my aunt has been going through depression for the past  years she spent most of her life up until  in a  world country isolated within her own home due to the culture there which didnt allow women much freedom however she still managed to get her masters degree in english and was very intelligenther visa recently got accepted into a first world country but her depression has gotten worse from all the financial and mental pressure that comes with studying and working as an international student especially since she isnt living with my family and was forced to live with family friends who she didnt knowher depression has completely destroyed her mental state shes no longer has the capabilities to study due to extreme lack of sleep she goes days at a time without sleeping and complains about not being able to understand anything even spacing out when people are talking to her she constantly feels sadness and always tells me how she feels her life is wasted and she will die without getting anywhererecently i was talking to her on the phone and she suddenly broke down crying this was the first time i had ever heard her cry and i didnt even know how to comfort her she kept saying how she was sorry for being such a burden to everyone and how she shouldnt be so selfish and should kill herself at this point i started panicking and begged her to not say things like this i calmed her down and kept close contact with her for about a week nowhowever lately she is becoming distant from me and i dont know what to do she is not only my aunt but my best friend as well and to see her going through this is killing me inside i spend days stressing out and crying at how i cant seem to do anything to help her my family doesnt know about her pain and she begged me not to tell them i convinced her to see a counselor but she is booked for around  weeks im extremely worried about her and feel she is really unstable right now what can i do for her if i lose her my life will be destroyed permanently i really need some help,3.0
28611,yoursck alles ,2.0
28612,home from workmy baby sick ,2.0
28613,the country of belgium and how its a nightmare living there will suck all the life out of you your will to live and any hopes and dreams for the future you will have dreams of the release of death but wake up everytime realising youre still in limbo belgium   you will find after reading pauvre belgique by baudelaire that he wasnt kidding in his descriptions of its people namely the flemish because its undeniably a place that should not exist but only does so because france needed a shield against germany aside from the maginot line along her borders  as youre sitting there reading this in your made in usa chair or perhaps on a carpet in peru or maybe timbuktu i am living there in that dreadful place in a possibly even higher quality chair but not happy about anything even though on paper i would be rich just being there the reality is that its likely not that much better in other places but other places have other systems and better mentalities going on and belgium is not for freethinking individual who requires freedom of speech and the full joys of enlightenment values as in belgium all this is restrained and sanitized  the redeeming factor is that my ancestors werent from this  thousand square kilometer waste of space but from   france which belgium is the backyard of   being stuck in that hell be is like a maze of grey neverceasing grey skies you cant pinch through and sometimes the grey endures months upon years most of the time im not sure if im not already dead or my corpse is trying reanimate itself telling me it will be all right as belgium will end im too drained of energy and pragmatic thoughtprocesses to make the move elsewhere as im still looking for where elsewhere is located its definitely not a constitutional monarchy but rather a republic where socialism is a fact and freedom of speech a natural born right  only socialism and a country where quality of life is one of the highest treasured goals will be the right place for me  because im dying there and nobody knew what i was going through  theres more that i really want to write but the guidelines cant handle it so i would look for a space of unrestrained  freedom of speech vile language and pure hate   the hate of being there and staying there and not being where im supposed to be,3.0
28614,starting to get bored  on twitter  nothing to do on here,2.0
28615,in line at quotthe grovequot apple store they might run out   ,2.0
28616,likes suzie but misses her buttercup ,2.0
28617,it just started raining ,2.0
28618,so when i went to my appointment i weighed in at  i was like damn i lost weight due to stress i bet i was at  before,1.0
28619,serendipityjane me too but many tweeting about how theyre writing reviewing getting ready for mon attending a conf etc ,2.0
28620,danny g is eliminated aw ,2.0
28621,bullying depression followers many survivors of sibling abuse never find the right therapist ,1.0
28622,mchangolin no didnt fit my schedule ,2.0
28623,got live last night at our  vid comin soonnn,0.0
28624, sayangbattery still loww my theory is that my good and cheery disposition lasts longer when its full otherwise i get ubercrankyy ,2.0
28625,courtproduction uhhm something like its my mother language who told you i can speak spanish i didnt remember about the profile ,0.0
28626,musclenerd  despite having jbd and having cydiaicy nothing works winter board sb settings etc ,2.0
28627,natszworld dats bullshit nati hate wen ppl say i love u back witout meanin it ,2.0
28628,rt cachersbaq no yo me merezco a sara real que ws una de las mejores amigas que me dio el fandom tipo que siempre me motiva o cuando e,0.0
28629,feeling stuck again suicidal thoughts come in full force every time im at work and then i remember that ill be working five days a week for the rest of my life and realize that i either suffer forever or kill myself but unfortunately i dont have the balls to do it birth is a curse and existence is prison,3.0
28630,flyingbolt  hopefully ill get inked while im there cross your fingers for me  ,0.0
28631,is getting ready for tn  ,0.0
28632,rt iiishade my anxiety will kill me,1.0
28633,ceruleanbreeze good on you for trying  though if it keeps going at this rate hes going to drop back to  page  ,2.0
28634,just want to talk anyone wanna talk some timedoesnt even has to go about depressionmaybe we can start a group of people to talk withsnap boowlinko,3.0
28635,need fruity noms ,2.0
28636,watching recordings of house i luv this show ,0.0
28637,sydeshow late response but id take a tiffany necklace just to say i have a tiffany necklace ,0.0
28638,searched colin firth he has twittered once  i hope he finds energy to revisit the world of few words and share some with us his fans,2.0
28639,spending some time with the hubby before he leaves for the weekend in the morning ,2.0
28640,my outlets have stopped working ive been struggling with depression for a while now due mostly to my gender dysphoria and i am fully aware of the treatments for my particular situation i have been extremely fortunate enough to have access to these treatments but delays with insurance companies and other such obstacles are preventing me from getting them in a timely manner to help me cope i took up painting i got relatively good at it i guess because i got to the point where i would be very proud of myself and my paintings but the gratification of seeing myself improve over time weakened it got to the point where i no longer enjoyed myself when i was painting it became dull and a bit of a chore i figured the solution would be to find a new hobby so i took up photography it was relatively cheap and could get you good results after a bit of practice and such but the same thing happened with painting i feel like im trapped in a cycle switching between hobbies because now im getting into writing and its gratifying as i learn and become better at it but now there is this everpresent knowledge that its probably not going to last and ill just switch to another hobby after several months having gotten bored of the last onemaybe someone here has had to deal with something similar thanks in advance,3.0
28641,working on my first bracelet made from st petersburg chain  httpplurkcompxgpkr,0.0
28642,kimberlyc do they have wireless internet in dr ,2.0
28643, yo socially awkward etc i have  yo i can count my friends with  hand and most of them live too far away to meet them regularly i broke with my ex  relationship  months ago i have noone to go out with and no motivations at all what can i doi just need advice because i feel im back to the depression bucle i was  years ago and im stressing because i dont want to go back to that,3.0
28644,getting paid to park cars ,0.0
28645,ive been binge watching the walking dead for longer than id like to admit i will be will be taking a break for m ,0.0
28646,how do people make friends i always see people talking about making friends even on here like they were just buying a new phonei dont get it even if i go to a group or a meetup or whatever i see people there maybe even have a good time and get on with them and then go home i never actually make friends from itwhat is that missing element that lets people just make friends,3.0
28647,rt nintendoushio anytime youre sad please just watch charles martinet interviewsive met this man twice and can confirm that he reall,0.0
28648,johnytyh but no french dubbing of chuck or most other tv shows in québec  its infuriating btvs french dub but not dollhouse ,2.0
28649,tommcfly can you say hola mexicanas please please juust wanna say that not is hard ¬¬  you forget the mexican fans ,2.0
28650,davidarchie did you know youre nominated for  teen choice awards congrats ,0.0
28651,theadamgregory  i agreejust a bit ironic bc your the adam gregory ,0.0
28652,  look at the iguana we found if you look closely youll see that its missing a limp ,2.0
28653, ohhhh i think i know what your on about  i miss you to im back sunday,2.0
28654,lol damn im good ,0.0
28655,is listening to danny gokeys what hurts the most ,2.0
28656,complete apathy for everything todays the last day to get back in school unfortunately laying in bed  more depressed than ever,3.0
28657,raymond i was going to stream it live via my bb storm but my internet wasnt cooperating ,2.0
28658,wishing i had some salt deli creme brulees left over from yesterday but they were too lovely to survive ,0.0
28659,jonasbrothers you lied for us  anywayim happy that youve finally told us the trueand i love you so much more now ,2.0
28660,me popping off at anyone who says theyre more of a dog person peasants,2.0
28661,aww man im gonna have one dull saturday  im staying in cause if i go out i will spend money lol,2.0
28662,electriceunice ,0.0
28663,going to london aquarium today gonna be so hot ,2.0
28664,im gonna do my hair later i guess we are going out to eat today fine with me ,0.0
28665,i cant keep going i cant i feel like everyday is just a loop and the same thing i have nothing to stay for or do anything i feel like im going to have a mental break i already felt like this before but my  close friend pushed me towards into liking this girl and liking her and apparently she had liked me and now her best friend told me she definitely doesnt feel the same i cant do this anymore my heart aches constantly and i feel like i think too much and then feel like my head is empty i want people in my life and to feel loved but i also just want to be alone i cant keep doing this i can barely breathe while writing this because im freaking out,3.0
28666,i am at a all time low    this quarantine left me with too much free time and all the awful thoughts i have been suppressing came back stronger then before my whole life has been traumatic ive been bullied beaten etc etc i wont go in much detail my whole life has been going downhill and for sure has left its mark on my sanity i am unable to have any positive thoughts meanwhile life keeps crushing me in every possible way to top it all off im gay in a conservative country its not like ill be jailed if they find out but were not very accepted all of my friends have abandoned me because im unable to show love or affection due to my excessive trauma i suck at showing how much i appreciate them cause i dont know how i have officially lost all interest in all my hobbies and things that kept my mind occupied in one way or another the only drop of dopamine i get is from music i love listening to music uni is closed until  of may which means no lectures and ill probably have to spend endless nights studying im off work untill the quarantine is over but i doubt ill still have the job when its all over    my birthday is in a few days and ill celebrate it all alone crying all day in my room like any other day due to the quarantine not that it would be celebrated anyway now that im almost done writing this i wonder if even there was any point in writing this will i feel better no maybe use this as a reassurance that someone else is worse and more miserable then you,3.0
28667,i wish it would rainbut it wont ,2.0
28668, waitwhere are you from again are you from  ahh ,0.0
28669,i dont feel like a person i dont feel like im really here i dont feel real a lot of the time it just feels like im watching a really long boring movie or that im in a simulation that i cant get out of i drift through each day the same barely interacting with anyone so little its like im not even here i dont have any friends and ive never been in a relationship or anywhere close to one for that matter all i do is go to class eat and sleep i think that being in college is the only thing that i have going for me and the worst part is that its the only thing going on in my life and i still dont think that ill be able to have a  semester i wish that i could connect with people all i want is some kind of close relationship with someone but maybe thats not in the cards for me at this point i think that if it was going to happen it would have happened already i see everyone out here being functioning adults with friends a relationship a job and perfect grades while i cant even manage to talk to people like a normal human being maybe im just one of those people who will never have friends or a significant other and i just need to accept that and get over it i dont know,3.0
28670,my leg huuuuurts i can barely walk ,2.0
28671,okaaay now i gotta go study urrg my final tests start tomorrow  heelp me ,2.0
28672, happy monday i think there is no better way to start a week than with passive agressive emailing lucky you ,2.0
28673,my whole tl is purple hearts im sad ,2.0
28674,jnsns we couldnt get the blu ray wkg on mine ,2.0
28675,is enjoying the nice weather but has been stuck indoors writing an essay for most of it ,2.0
28676,grandpoobah im keeping score so shouldnt be a problem ,0.0
28677,musicxxmaker oh fo sure ,0.0
28678,i dont know what i should speak to you   so bad right  ,2.0
28679,really hope im not getting sick ,2.0
28680,now im back ,0.0
28681,jwrites saddest dic i read before linavm and i think this other fic from the sherlock fandom its a sad johnlock fic,2.0
28682,the ufc  undisputed game is worth the money just bought it and im hooked  ,0.0
28683,elgingo some walk by night some walk by day im lost ,0.0
28684,i am loving this sunshine and hating the thought of my office without windows ,2.0
28685,lovedeez and u know me soooo well lolmaybe ill add a cute sidepart hahahai jus wish i cld stay n but   wants to have events ,2.0
28686,feelslikehome same unfortunately  i dont think we are going to see much improvement at this point ,2.0
28687,why would you bring children into this world i will never bring children into this world,3.0
28688,yellani ive messaged you on twitter lots of times  thats your stat ,0.0
28689, they are still one of the best if not the best live act around ,0.0
28690,shaundiviney wish i could come ,2.0
28691,gray everything just seems impossible im behind in my classes my diet doesnt seem to be taking me anywhere my boyfriend dumped me a few weeks ago i cant pay rent this month and i had to call into work sick again everything feels like so much i cant do it anymore ,3.0
28692,dietplainlite i even have vids  and more to come    god i cant wait to get js laptop,0.0
28693,says ang sakit ng ngipin quh  ,2.0
28694, so many david carradine messages,2.0
28695,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay ,1.0
28696,tbofreak its high tide baby featuring ian watkins only listened to the beginning ,0.0
28697,that hollow feeling in your chest right between your ribs im feeling it right now i just feel like its swallowing me internally i have no emotion no feelings its my weekend but i dont have the energy to do anything i have no one to hang out with i sit in my room just aimlessly browsing the internet until the sun goes down and then i just sleepand then before i know it it will be monday and back to work i go i dont think im cut out for life im pretty happy with everything ive done in life so far im just much to anxious about the future and i dont think its worth worrying about maybe its time to start planning my death again ,3.0
28698,tommcfly wow you tweeted davidarchie ,0.0
28699,blitzballplayer what a coincidence i just went running down along the san francisco bay myself    im glad that it helped you too,0.0
28700,ive now officially decided that i am addicted to manga   it rocks big time   peace to those who love manga too ,0.0
28701,jonasbrothers just booked tickets to see your world tour see you on the  november ,0.0
28702,tommcfly tom please say hi to santos  i love you so much mcfly is nothing without you you are the brain haha pls say hi,0.0
28703,went to wake up girls for school to be told that they are off today how stupid do i now feel i could of had a lie in this morning ,2.0
28704,confession of a weird manifestation of depression i recently realized i have been avoiding basic personal hygiene ie brushing my teeth not due to apathy but as a way to spitepunish myself its as if part of me wants to inflict slow intentional paindamage to my own wellbeing and it wants to make sure the damage lasts i never used to be like this wtfanybody relate to this,3.0
28705,miketopia awww the winter gardens are pretty theres loads to do more so when its sunny like ,0.0
28706,rt starrylies rt if you  want to die constantly  never like yourself  dont look in a mirror cause youre unsatisfied with your a,0.0
28707, thieving last night ,0.0
28708,paomiami  your a devoted jon girland thats ok mwah,0.0
28709,looking on the internet doesnt ill tell you that help  xx,2.0
28710,adinab i wanna go to the san diego one so bad but im not gonna have money when they go on sale ,2.0
28711,it also however makes me sad that i cant see my friends,1.0
28712,tropiczone this friend is very grateful ,0.0
28713,two years i look for you everywherei look for you in everyonei never thought two yearscould feel this long,3.0
28714,what does moderately severe depression mean i know i am depressed and i have taken a couple of questionnaire at the doctors office and it comes out to be moderately severe i feel incredibly anxious sometimes where i just feel like i am against a wall and i usually end up crying i feel so powerless when i am like that and in the middle of my anxiety and crying i hate myself for crying for feeling so powerless i seriously have no idea how other people do it do they all feel sad and just cheer up after a while  i am not sure i have friends who care about me but to open up to anyone the level of depression i am in i think i would just scare them off i dont want anyone to know either somehow being depressed feels like a failure i have an highly functioning work life but the moment i am alone with my thoughts i break down it usually stops when i am drained out of my energy and then i feel silly about the whole ordeal during my episodes i constantly think about getting some help  to talk to a professional but when that has passed somehow i just feel that was not a big issue and almost all of us probably depressed and its no reason to go to a doctor any advice would help thanks,3.0
28715,a goodbye note ive never posted on this sub before so nobody here knows me i doubt anyone here would be affected by this i dont care i just want people to know im gone i dont want to be forgotten forever im going to kill myself i know by the nature of this sub people will try to stop me theyll tell me i have so much to live for but i dont care im not listening i just want to say goodbye im going to tell my life story so that i might be remembered when i was in fourth grade i wanted to kill myself i felt cold and empty and sad and i couldnt explain it i didnt find my normal hobbies entertaining and i didnt find fun in my friends i later learned that i had depression and generalized anxiety disorder i foolishly told my teacher how i felt by the time the day was over the nurse called me up to the office they asked me a bunch of questions and determined that i was truly suicidal and that i was planning on going through with it they sent me straight to the hospital where i was locked in a padded room for hours i was too young to understand what was happening i thought they would do some tests and be done it turns out that they had planned to take my custody away from my parents the doctors on the staff were incredibly new and incompetent so it was through sheer luck that my parents convinced them to let me free on my way out early in the morning i saw people in straightjackets and handcuffs i saw people crying and screaming to be let free i had never felt so bad in my life i was put on some antidepressants and things were good for a whilea few years later my mother lost her job she was a lawyer a prosecutor she was asked to resign because a girl fresh out of law school had caught her boss eye my mom had been working as a lawyer for over a decade so she was expensive to pay with a new student coming in the boss wouldnt need to pay as much and could increase profits my mom was let go without a proper reason she fell into a state of deep depression over losing her job that shed had for years she couldnt function normally and had to get money from disability checks she gained a lot of weight and was sad all the time she eventually got better with time but this period had permanently scarred our family my mother was one of millions of victims of capitalismmany years later my father was unjustly fired as well he was a teacher at a local high school he overheard a student threatening to murder a transgender classmate my father threatened to call the childs parents and get him suspended but the next day my father got tons of accusations slammed against him many of which couldve gotten his teaching liscense taken away the school lawyers and education board looked into the complaints and discovered them all to be false they werent too happy with my dad standing up for a transgender student however so they presented him with an ultimatum he could either quit his job or get his liscense revoked he quit his job students would throw trash onto our front lawn and trucks would drive by waving confederate flags on the back threatening my entire family i was once directly threatened and told to watch my back my dad eventually found another job but i never recovered from the events that transpiredas i entered high school my hormones sent off my depression once again i was tired of school i had no friends and i wasnt entertained by my previous hobbies i didnt trust the school system because of what happened in the fourth grade and what happened to my father i needed help though and i took whatever help i could get i spoke with the school nurse and counselor about all my feelings i vented to them about oblivion and hopelessness they took in every word and didnt judge then things became serious i got too comfortable sharing my thoughts i told them about my dreams i told them that i wanted to hurt somebody to relive myself of suffering they didnt take kindly to this i soon learned that they had planned to send a police squad to take me from my parents home it took some serious convincing on my parents end to stop them i felt as if i had a neardeath experience i was almost taken from my parents forever my entire world couldve been uprooted it was all my fault i was soon taken out of school because i wasnt capable of functioning normally with my illness since then ive had a lot of time to myself alone with my thoughts i reflected on my life and my situation i began writing poetry about my feelings i talked with my online friends about my feelings and theyve been so supportive i havent felt better though in fact ive been losing my mind ive been scared of each passing day ive been afraid of the sun rising in the morning and afraid of it setting in the night ive been scared to wake up and scared to sleep ive been crying for help but nobody has heard me ive been betrayed by supposed counselors twice now my family has been wronged too many times ive been traumatized beyond my limits ive had trust issues and ive wanted to stop living like thisin this past week my online friends betrayed me some drama transpired and they said horrible things to me they told me that i deserved all of my suffering they told me that they hoped i would hurt for the rest of my life they told me that i was no friend of theirs they banned me from all the servers i was on with them now i have nobody you see ive been all alone in real life those friends were like family to me theyre all i had to look forward to after a painful day they helped me through everything but now they all hate me and im truly alone when i told them i was planning suicide they laughed at me and said i was looking for attention i have nothing i have no friends my family is broken im all alone i have no future because im mentally disabled so this is where i say goodbye hopefully you all know me a little better i never knew any of you but i want to say i love you alledit its been a few hours since i posted this and i need to give an update firstly im alive i tried to kill myself but i was too scared to do it im a coward i need help please help me im terrified i have nothing please help me,3.0
28716,i could say that i love ceciiliiaa more than i love any other friend remember stella ,0.0
28717,  yay finally you are driving ,0.0
28718,jarich the latter ,2.0
28719,torkm awwww  take care of yourself amp get better,2.0
28720,yardwork ,2.0
28721,spazziness when would that be ill prob still be stuck in germany then ,2.0
28722,weve got two photo booth gigs this weekend one in lebanon and one in knoxville  should be a very busy but fun weekend ,0.0
28723,pauliniunia oki added it ,0.0
28724,chillz busy listening to the sound of the air and my roomate being all boood upp lmao ima have to rent me one of them ,0.0
28725,torosenjo haha thanks for being so nice for now ill just try to not get hurt and fall in depression again ,1.0
28726,sleepy but not sleepy i think ill read ,0.0
28727,keb  the very best bank in korea ,0.0
28728,dad picks a restaurant with one vegetarian dish for lunch garlic bread and a side of fries for me ,2.0
28729,been at a mixerrodeo partyosasis party  hehe for the couple of hrs now were bon firing it ,0.0
28730,looking forward to another day of sport ,0.0
28731,consultdoc glad you are recovering ok yes ice good and im sure the meds are even better ,0.0
28732,hellenbach  so lucky  i did pot noodle for lunch today ,2.0
28733,why why why gotta go to see the dentist cant stay home and might go home late ,2.0
28734,is up time to clean  ,2.0
28735,final exam it had to be maths wishing myself good luck for the last time  ,0.0
28736,elllllaaaa yeah i did then suddenly my tweetdeck got crowded  so i undo all  ahahah,0.0
28737,just studied at the beach about to get ready ,0.0
28738,new deleriums music video  mixed by tiesto i guess bill leeb finally forgot his musics roots ,0.0
28739,musojourno mmmm i love it  pity its so expensive or id ask you to bring me some back ,2.0
28740,kelsnotchels thats awesome about the weightloss  go you  ,0.0
28741,have a good day all im off to work ,2.0
28742, why r y depressed  i mite b moving earlyer than i thot,2.0
28743,iheartkayla  were not bad naman  are we quot ,2.0
28744,feeling stupid im feeling stupid right about now and would like to ventbut i have no one to vent to because of me not being able to form stable friendships crying in a bathroom that isnt even mine lol,3.0
28745,bf is working in ny ,2.0
28746,chictravel i wish i was going with you guys  i take it back when i said in amsterdam that i was quotdone with europe for a whilequot,2.0
28747,everything is wrong and i cant fix it most things in my life right now well i wish they were different but i can wish all i want nothing is going to changei cant sleep before  in the morning before that everything in my head is buzzing this sucks if youre getting up at  to go to schooli dont enjoy stuff anymore i used to love to draw but now it feels like a chore i always had the energy to do my best on school assignments but thats out the window too my grades are suffering and im a failure the only thing i have energy to do are compulsions writing down numbers and patterns they are part of why i cant sleepi have aspergers syndrome so not only am i cementing myself as a mistake and a failure i was born deficient i am turning  soon and it scares the crap out of me i feel like a child still  years old at most i was very mature and adultlike at that age but its as if now when i need to be mature and strong my child self is coming back making me feel small and weak insecure and timid its as if my emotional development has turned on its headim starting to regret my childhood even i wish i could relive it who doesnt i didnt have the worst childhood out there which makes me hate myself evem more for complaining but my stepmom was physically and emotionallyverbally abusive especially the latter back then i felt i had no choice but to do as i was told and just live with it after all i was just a stupid ungrateful child who did nothing but make my step moms life miserable now i wish i had spoken up told a teacher how i felt heck even go through with running away with my brother fight back at least but i didnt and there is nothing i can do to change that i was a goodietwoshoes when i needed to rebel and i regret it every dayi had to give up my dog last year she was born aggressive and training couldnt fix her i still love herall these things make me feel scared and small and cold and fragile i hate it i need to grow a pair but i dont know how the people around me dont deserve to deal with my shit my father is the best one out there he stayed when my mom left the fact that he replaced her with my hellish step mom isnt his fault he deserves the best i cant give him that im sorry,3.0
28748,  no more kingsburg swedish festival    all over now ,2.0
28749, why baby  danycarey i think i could handle your tricks haha,2.0
28750,first show is done of the tour thanks to everyone who came out tyler tx tomorrow ,0.0
28751,preetishenoy absolutelyand this time even more soits been hotter than ever before in delhitemp broke long time records too ,2.0
28752,harleivy where is the sad react twitter,2.0
28753,quotthe rockquot pizza joint officially quotrocksquot no pun intended we need to have next leadership meeting here    we would get nothing done,0.0
28754, thanks for the awesome seminar today amp making me talk to people just sorry i was unable to catch you amp say hello ,2.0
28755,rt  clowns wear a face thats painted intentionally on them so they appear to be happy or sad aldubdeeper 💘,1.0
28756,katemi i heard about it a while back too but i saw an actual commercial for it for the first time today and it looks so bad ,2.0
28757,helpin dad out today with the golf tournamentfour ,0.0
28758, not much was planning on goin this morn but didnt make it ,2.0
28759,its  and im sooo ill  guess i shouldnt have went out dancing in the rain n i blame jay jay l,2.0
28760,is excited to spend tomorrow with luke ,0.0
28761,ughh its so hot amp the singing lady is still outside ,2.0
28762,poltex why ty more than happy to share giving back for all the help so many have given me   its a long list of wonderful people,0.0
28763,you know how they tell you to do shit to get out of depression ive been told for so long you cant just lay in bed moping expecting to get better so for years ive been fighiting fighting to get out of bed in the morning fighting to go to the gym fighting to go to class etc until one day you just dont have the energy anymore and then youre stuck and then you dont want to live anymore just wondering if im alone in this,3.0
28764,thinking of the future triggered a mental breakdown apologies for shitty english and spelling as im still in the midst of it so  weeks ago my bf  broke up with me  he was my first bf and we were together for  years ive never been good at the dating scene and have always had trust issues men in the past have lied and used me he played it off for a while and never acted any different right down to the loving texts in the morning then all of a sudden was like ive been feeling like this for a long time and left without giving me a way to change or whatever i needed to do its reinstilled that same non trust as much as all of that sucks its not all my depression is always worse in the winter and instead of getting better with the changing weather its getting to how it was before my relationship i was pretty much alone and non social the only way i met my ex was through my roommate taking me to a party but i just bought a home so now my human interaction is going to be even more limited worse yet even if i tried to date im different i struggle with depression yes but i also am feeling my knees and hips getting worse walking is wearing on my knees and i cant be as active as i used to my heart is in physical pain alot too i have terrible insomnia and i cant have sex it feels like im being stabbed and already struggle with intimacy i went to the doctors and they couldnt find anything wrong with my heart physical therapy for my knee made my other knee and probably my hips worse and physical therapy for the sex pain never made anything better  so as i look at my future i see myself sitting alone in my home crying myself to sleep for sheer loneliness and stress no guy wants a woman who cant have sex and has horrible depression i cant even stand being around myself even if i get used to the loneliness i just want to be able to enjoy the little things in life that most other people get to enjoy but it seems as i get older my body just finds ways to torture me or take away the things i used to enjoy i dont know what to do i have other things going for me for now but i have a history of being laid off always budget issues and if i lose my job i dont think ill be able to keep going ,3.0
28765,rt preshiousps  se reng stress sa mojolo mo ngwaneng😂😂😂 ,2.0
28766,summerluvn  i hope i do not belong to your statement also hope you are ok  ,0.0
28767,done packing ,0.0
28768,motherfuckr im ill caught something in la ,2.0
28769,free from parents at  after arguing with my parents mostly my mom my dad just watched and listened and having her tell me i will never amount to anything im a failure  i was a mistake and im a laundry list of mental issues they told me to get rid of my depression and anxiety and to be normal or id be kicked out so i have decided to take me and my small tax return with me to move out and live on the streets im still employed and im still going to high school i made this post to help me deal with it i guess and to have something to look back on,3.0
28770,cassiefx did she eat something bad ,2.0
28771,being bored in my room ,2.0
28772,damamat cool i have sent at least a few orders to houston ,0.0
28773,hashphp lol def a bot ,0.0
28774,i spent the morning watching unfabulous and driving my dads car heh heh heh ,0.0
28775,tbsnewagain i was watching degrassi and a new again commercial came on i rewound it like  times on my dvr it flippin made my day  ,0.0
28776,send files from your browser to another browser  without limits  by thenextweb ,0.0
28777,esmealaki sad🤤🤤,2.0
28778,i want to quit smoking cigarettes they took away my singing voice and i want it back ,2.0
28779,creans leuke site ,0.0
28780,duyku apparently i wasnt ready enough  i only got to watch the  quarter bc i painted for a total of  hours today,2.0
28781,its too much semilong read im sorry i needed to get some feelings outi dont know where else to go i have nobody else to turn to i suppose thats why i ended up here isnt that how everybody else doeseverything has gotten to be too much ive been on the rocks for years with my mental health but recently ive just been disregarding the reasons ive reused over the years to keep myself from just ending it why shouldnt i how is it that i can find an infinite amount of good reasons in a restricted time period for a complete stranger to keep their life but i havent been able to find even one for myself my whole life as much as i hate crying about my problems i have finally arrived at a point where i cannot help myself it has become so hard to find a healthy way to cope with a dark past im sure most of you can understand that its gotten to a point where ill be sitting in a coffee shop with my friends and ill find a way to distance myself from them and just end up in my own headi know i sound like a stereotypical whiny teenager nagging on about hating herself and that life sucks but coming from someone who has been depressed since the age of  i have not seen a light at the end of a tunnel in over a decade and it hurts everything just physicallyemotionallymentally hurts and im honestly not quite sure what to do about it anymore ive tried the therapy the pills the positivity i just dont see a point in any of it anymoreive rewritten my note at least one hundred times explaining that i would be sorry for the actions i took but i wasnt sorry enough to stay ive begun to stand in the background of my everyday life and just watch everyone to see how well theyre going to keep doing once im gone and i think itll just be best for everyone smiles will still remain wide amp true laughs will echo the hallways just as loud friday nights will be spent raising hell around the town living vicariously through those around me has stopped giving me the thrill i used to receive now it remains an unsatisfied crave and that signifies that i have reached the end of the linethis has been a heavy topic in my mind since january  and my solution still stands rewrite the note one last time fake some smiles with the few friends i have left raise hell one last friday night amp drift off to a long sleep for the day after that then the day after that one too and all the days following those  ,3.0
28782,need advice from those who have attempted suicide and failed trigger warninga friend of mine passed by suicide  weeks ago and i guess im just looking for some sort of advice or even emotional supportnow i attempted back when i was  i wont get too involved in this backstory my urge was fueled by emotions and a spur of the moment decision i was just about to hang the belt in my closet when my little brother walked in his face was my reason to stay he saved me amp to this day almost  years later im so thankful he walked in when he didlike i said my attempt was fueled by an in the moment emotionmy friendhers was similar but differentshe attempted the same wayshe felt the darkness i felt we spoke days beforei sat there saying what i thought was all the right thingsi was supportive loving understanding then i find out she planned thisfor nearly  weeks she planned the day time minute what she was going to eat and wear and how in her note she said the meanest things to herself things no one in this world thought about her so the conversation she had with me days beforeits like she wasnt even listeningim truly devastatedbut heres my thing i just cant shakeshouldnt i have seen the signs better being in the same situation nearly  years prior why couldnt i save her why wasnt my experience enough to open her eyesis this me being selfish i justkeep thinking its because my darkness was fueled by emotion but hers must have been sososo much deeper for her to plan iti guess what im asking is for is someone who has been thru this wether in my position as a friendfamily or someone who planned everything in detail to give me some insight i just have had the urge for days to post here but im so scared ill just be overlooked and stuck with this hole in my soul because i have so many unanswered questions not only the normal ones but deeper ones relating moredoes this make sense to anyone i hope so  ,3.0
28783,iamjulito i just downloaded that interview amp he was goin hard on cassie ,2.0
28784,at work today i had more reasons to wash my hands than normal ,2.0
28785, they think they are  pound dogs its pretty funny ,0.0
28786,double suicide in family first time posting here ill try to keep it short ive been battling my depression for as long as i can remember im doing better now as an adult and realizing that my medication doesnt make me happy it lets me be happy anyway my dad took his life back in  i was  at the time and in and out of the hospital for attempts it was all so hush hush some of my family would lie about how my dad died fast forward my cousin took his life in  he was young  ive been supportive of my uncle aunt and cousin through this time but i find myself angry they are open about how their son died they do walks they talk about suicide they donate to prevention causes what about my dad what about his memory and his life there is no acknowledgment of his suicide all these years ago they dont walk for him or have a banner made for him the difference in how each suicide is being treated makes me mad where was my support where was the walks to celebrate his life where is his memory i feel bad for feeling this way my cousins death shattered my family all over again but its different this time whats wrong with me,3.0
28787,i pray to die everyday i cant stand living anymore i dont remember a time when i was really happy in my life not even as a child i grew up with a schizophrenic father who would abuse my mother i convinced her to leave him and at first she didnt want to leave me with him since he had custody of me then one day while i was sleep in my room she slept alongside me that night i knew that she was going to leave then but not when then during the middle of the night i fell off of the bed where she was sleeping and then i knew she was gone i cried the rest of the night and couldnt sleep i remember since then i went through my life not able to look forward to anything the worst days where when it was just me and my dad there were always long periods of time when we didnt have any contact we just sat there watching tv my mom would visit during the holidays sometimes when my dad made me beg her to come back since then i was never really able to enjoy a holidaythen during one of my moms visits i asked her to stay for my birthday because she missed my birthday last year she didnt have the money to come back since she was living out of state she did and when she left back to where she was staying my brother died of cancer my brother was the one who initially got me out of my shell he was the first person who made me feel like i mattered and once he died my mother did come back to stay she told me about how he wished that he was able to grow up with me and how he wanted to go to college she also blamed herself for his death i told her if that was the case then it was mostly my fault for asking her to stay for my birthday he died  days after another day that i would hate in the future i still dont celebrate my birthday even though its been over  years nowsince then the abuse stopped immediately my dad apologized and tries to make up for it now but i cant forget i cant get closure now i couldnt have friends no one liked me at school because i was the weird guy ive never been happy i didnt have anything to look forward to in life i didnt think i would make it to  but i did i also got scholarships i raised the most money out of everyone in my school although it still wasnt a full ride my next step was to reluctantly go to college i was told by the school counselor the teachers and by my parents that i would get a good job after graduating and have a better life during my time in college i tried my best to get out of my shell on my own i made a few friends it was a very small number but they were still friends im doing well in my mind and im catching on faster than people who were even a year ahead of me sophomore year comes around and i start applying for internships didnt get any neither did i in my junior year then in my senior year i was crushed i lost the little hope that i had gained everything was hopeless again i started to skip my calculus iii class and failed it i didnt like math and though i sucked at it then i had to go to summer school i lied to my family because they had a lot of faith in meduring the summer i was back in my dorm i didnt have to go back home i knew that as soon as i went back home id be in hell again not a hell caused by my father mother or anyone else a hell that just happened because it happened it is because it is i start skipping class again i gave up i couldnt go on but i remembered that my nephew said that he wanted to be like me and go to college so did my nieces i remembered my brother that died and how he wanted to go to college too i thought that it would  be unfair to them if i just gave up i didnt care what happened to myself because i had already given up on myself i asked the professor the grade that i needed to pass and he said that i need at least a  so before the finals i studied for  days straight i studied i even asked the professor for help then the final day came and i got a  somehow i still think its a mistake somehow but i took it then i came back home immediately i started applying for jobs days go by weeks and then months i dont get any interviews except from a few recruiting companies they would always say that they had an interview for me but none of them fell through id try to get in touch with them for months but they would all ghost me its like i was cursedi am  now and i am still not working in my field during the  years after i graduated ive worked as a security job and as a cable guy i dont even want to mention the hard time i had working those jobs a friend i used to help in class all the time got a job programming a year after we graduated i was happy for him but i stopped talking to him for a while i felt terrible about myself but i force myself to keep talking to him its unfair to try to punish him because of my own shortcomings now im just trying to pick up the pieces and start all over again i am in the same place in the same house the same lost and powerless situation and the same hopelessness im supposed to be applying for jobs but i cant anymore i cant take another no thank you letter i was never given a chance so why would i get one nowi just pray desperately to die it seems like the only way out of me i just want this to end i cant even face myself anymore i want a future i desperately want something to look forward to for once,3.0
28788,finally getting my lovely phone back today hurrah now off to pay £ to get my car back ,2.0
28789,gyonis will try it ,0.0
28790,rt saucycheeto delete this nephew ,0.0
28791,so thatll be my clutch shot then £ bill after £ bill on friday i miss my motorbike ,2.0
28792,come to my salon for bangs bangs and more bangs ,0.0
28793,going to go eat frosters freeze  yippie,0.0
28794,i havent slept without daisy in a year am sad,1.0
28795,im in a weird mood not feeling so good right now  hopefully tomorrow will be a better day,2.0
28796,anyone else lose joy in simple pleasures i used to love listening and singing along to music now when i hear a favorite song of mine on the radio i feel nothing its gotten so bad i turn off the radio and just wallow in my own thoughts,3.0
28797,calamur midday super sad dipika should join our indian news channels she would fit right in,0.0
28798,rt leeeeeeeez im soo sad and happy lol life is on some bs rn,1.0
28799,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
28800, is there a post up i got up amp was ready to work amp my internet is down on handheld i love my sunday jungle of life fix ,2.0
28801,i dont want to go i dont want to go dont go  no allowance ,2.0
28802,rt altaroi saw that mc kid sneering down his nose cvc so heres a friendly reminder that all pisay students are under the same fucking,1.0
28803, thank you ,0.0
28804,i just cant take it anymore i made a stupid decision to break up with my boyfriend like  months ago and i keep regretting it i was depressed because i thought we would never meet up or have a life together irl this was an ldr but the more i think about it now the more i believe there couldve been a future even if there wasnt it was still better than nothing i lost my best friend everyday its just the same thoughts why didnt i just leave this group when i wanted to why didnt i just talk about the issues why didnt i do more why didnt i take him back why did i betray his trust why did i think he wasnt enough if i was so touch starved why didnt i just get a massage why why wyhwyhy didnt i send that care package if i had done that the thoughts of a future probably never wouldve came to fruition even if they did why would you not take care of your lover like that what the fuck is wrong with youevery fuckign day is just replaying the same events over and over and i just hate myself for doing this to myself i lost like  pounds last year only to gain  of it back in  months i fucking hate myself for choosing damaging options in my life i took the advice of people i used to respect and it just backfired i cant even trust people anymore and i end up blaming them for the advice they gave me even though it was me to follow with it but if they hadnt said anything or if i hadnt askedmy ex says hes better off without me and was able to replace me in two weeks which just makes me feel like im simply worthless and replacable it honestly just feels that im just a parasite on this earth and should just go away forever sure people love me theyll get over it if i leaveive been hospitalized twice partial outpaitent therapy for  months seen therapists nothing fucking helps i just want it to end i hate myself i deserve nothing good in life im a horrible person who should just remove themselves from this life i cant even connect with people anymore at lunch i just sit there silently and dont contribute to the conversation i cant be a normal fucking person and just talk like everyone else or have thigns like everyone else im so useless as a personits always been like this even when i was with my ex i was depressed zoloft does nothing everyone will get sick of me and then theyll be glad im gone im nothing but a parasite worthless trash i dont know what to do anymore i dont know what to live for i dont know what to look forward to or even why im working my job why am i doing any of this,3.0
28805,peterwolff  hope to be able to try one or two places that proclaim they serve good coffee ,0.0
28806,jonas brothers and mcfly singing together at wembley just another reason whyd id like to live in london must study and finish essay ,2.0
28807,busy season i guess consists of   bioshock  and the new halo game  i want my old job back ,2.0
28808,doesnt want to go to work everyones talking about chilling on bank holiday monday ,2.0
28809,sitting in traffic  ,2.0
28810,twitter is baaaaaaaaaack thinking of you ,0.0
28811,once again the quest for late night snacks ends in ,2.0
28812,i wish someone would murder me i aint worth shit and like everybody knows that,3.0
28813,bullyinguk oh nooooo it may be on its way to derby its hot and sunny here at the mo ,2.0
28814,leaving  my first question is gonna go as planned quotdo you allow pranks herequot hahaha stoked for college already,0.0
28815,hey so some help would be cool or just listening so i have depression myself and basically one of my friends tried to commit suicide a year before i met her and after we became good friends and she told me about it it affected me much more than i thought most of the time when suicide hospitals padded rooms and stuff like that are mentioned i start to feel sick in the stomach cause i imagine my friend when she tried to commit suicide its gotten to a point where i feel guilty for not helping her even though i didnt even know her when she tried to commit suicide she is really nice and for some reason i blame myself for not helping her its also gotten to a point where i dreamt that i went back in time and was trying to stop her from suicide so yeah i just wanted to let that out here,3.0
28816,im back in the sattle again ,0.0
28817,those damn ssris it slowly feels like ive taken every ssri known to mankind why am i still prescribed them basically they all work the same way for me which means they dont do anything good at all now im on my sixth escitalopram  mg since  weeks and i dont feel even the slightest improvementif ssris would be advertised as neutering pills id congratulate the pharma companies for their astonishing astonishing mastery of drug development they destroy my sex drive and physical ability to have sex swiftly and with total efficiency but uh they are marketed as antidepressantsnot that this side effect matters that much for me in my state so sorry for that tmi excursion its just that because of this i notice that these drugs do indeed powerfully act on my brain in some wayhow can the side effect be always so extremely severe but the therapeutic effect always be absolutely nonexistent,3.0
28818,exam on tuesday i is studying ,2.0
28819,awemani missed registration  flashcamp ,2.0
28820,jenifel hey there how have you been ,0.0
28821,is going to work for  hours  luckily i have my iphone so can make twitter posts as i work d,2.0
28822,seanmurphymusic   thats beautiful ,0.0
28823,perpetual dissatisfaction i dont remember the last time i was happy sure i smile and laugh sometimes sometimes i look up the stars and everything is so beautiful i sit in my car and listen to the tings of raindrops as they fall those little moments are all that keep me goingim not exactly sad either theoretically my life has never been better i have a stable lowstress job that i dont hate with a lot of freedom i make enough money to sustain a life of relative luxury i recently joined a new band that gives me something to constantly improve at i have a ton of hobbies and keep myself pretty busy singing programming reading writing guitar video games politics and occasionally i go out to a barif i tell people im sad or depressed they say things will get better but things arent necessarily bad my best friend is a highly motivational personal trainer that tells me to envision my ideal self and my ideal life and then make sure whatever i do aligns with that but i dont know what that is i dont really want anythingi keep considering this thought that if could have and do anything in the world i wanted i think id be doing what i am doing right now then i think that means things dont get better this is it if this is my ideal life and im unhappy then whatim not saying im done and i want to die but if this is peak performance im pretty disappointed life,3.0
28824,  watchiin mtv hmm to worm omg havent got around to atchiin twilight yet  ii will buut ii am now xd goodnii for real  ly ,0.0
28825, pooooo d at least when the computer is in my room and his is out here it wont seem so loud ,0.0
28826,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
28827,demonfactory  tell me about it just had to build ikea furniture for  hours ,2.0
28828,andrew sais attaching termsofuse to federation metadata is quotokquot  no more federation agreements for sps ,0.0
28829,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
28830,acouchofmyown thanks ,0.0
28831,excuse me twitter  didnt sleep at all breakfast with the fam and then sleep ,0.0
28832,pr finals ,0.0
28833,rt hislovelyy idk about yall but im trying to better myself and my mental health if youre on here literally just to start drama i w,1.0
28834,finally leaving rdepression ive finally reached a point where i feel like i can leave this subreddit youve all been a great support for me but its time i move on stay strong my friends,3.0
28835,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
28836,lozziecousins  is this a roger dean mountain we are talking about ,0.0
28837, thanks for adding me on your follow friday thing i just saw that haha youre a sweetheart ,0.0
28838,malkosh you mean quotfriedquot is not good  ,0.0
28839,lost my house keys fail ,2.0
28840,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
28841,my dad is in normandy with a great uncle who was a paratrooper in the war  obama said his name over the pa mispronounced it ,2.0
28842,my new school dosnt have marine studies or geography ,2.0
28843,so i really just feel disgusted today i looked through my moms phone and saw that shes been telling people ive been having auditory hallucinations the thing is im not i actually had no idea what that was until i googled it and it turns out it means hearing noises or voices in your head she got this idea because she told my uncle to send me a text message and i usually dont use my phone a lot yes im one of those people so he texts me and i dont see his message until like later that night  hours later usually if this happens and its been that long i wont reply at all because if they need me theyll just text again later or call but i found out he texted my mom asking why i didnt reply she told him its because i have auditory hallucinations and thats what shes dealing with with me i have absolutely no idea where she got this from and im truly disgusted shes telling people this i had a bipolar diagnosis last year but its something i dont even think about in day to day life because i dont want to be one of those oh i have this and every day i have to manage myself blah blah blah muhhhh journey people i dont care im fine with myself how i am whats disgusting to me is that i dont talk to my parents because they do this shit a lot they feed misinformation to people and are genuinely dishonest about what they do and dont know its pathetic and makes me not want to be affiliated with them at all even though i live with them what gives her the right to go and tell people these things like shes absolute sure its true i dont suffer from any psychotic hallucinations or whatever usually my problem is just depression i dont know how to deal with this or what to even say to her now that i know shes been selling this to people im just disgusted and feel like ive been cheated or something does anyone have advice for this ,3.0
28844,steveweber  thank you steve enjoy your weekend ,0.0
28845,sognix sorry u cant join us ,2.0
28846,noeluu i just watched your jb experience aaww i wanna cry even when i wasnt there but its just soo aaww  loved it,0.0
28847,on the way to mi casa night my twiggas ,0.0
28848,says happy mothers day to all the moms out there ,0.0
28849,got a good point ,0.0
28850,bloody back issues first lower back pain for over a year now pain between my shoulder blades feel like an old man ,2.0
28851,   wow you have such an amazing eyes i love u ,0.0
28852,rt waffuel im sad but who cares ,2.0
28853,i totally said quotah did asquot instead of quotuh dee dusquot lmao wills still laughing  mee ,2.0
28854, you  respond to me biotch ,0.0
28855,the world seems like such an incredibly unfair and painful place fortune is totally random and often heartless awful people do awful things and never see justice terrible shit happens to good people there is no happy ending just complete randomness does it seem this way to anyone else ,3.0
28856,being okay with temprorary happiness ive learnt to be okay with feeling short fleets of joy instead of ruining these tiny moments with thoughts about how these moments wont last and how i will become sad again therefore i shouldnt bask in the joy but now i realise its betterr to just be and live in that feeling instead let yourself be present in these moments because they can quickly become the moments that you can continue to live for,3.0
28857,someone tell me why its worth living im tired of wishing i would die tired of wishing a car would hit me or i would suddenly get a brain aneurysm why am i like this,3.0
28858,its hot  i could turn on the ac but im trying to be green for as long as i can stand it   right now im just a little red and shiny,2.0
28859, lol ive been playing that game for a few days ive got all the upgrades but cant get the last achievement ,0.0
28860,feeling happy happy happy think i inspired ppl today thro my sermon mashallah alhamdulillah happiness all around bring on the ajr ,0.0
28861,time  some kingdom hearts  will have  play frm beggining with roxas no memory card ,2.0
28862,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
28863, my avatar hasnt updated on tweetie ,2.0
28864,am i depressed im  i have a good job and i good place to sleep i have great friends and a great family i have a car and some savings basically life is going great for me right now but somehow i feel unhappy and i dont really know why i feel like im not happy and im empty like something is missing,3.0
28865,eating fresh organic mangos with natural organic peanut butter crunchyyum on organic flax flatbread ,0.0
28866, maybe we followers could pool our money and get you a laptop of your own ,0.0
28867,lauriereece great to be able to put a face on lauriereece  youre lovely,0.0
28868,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
28869,fuck man its just draining got a mock tomorrow havent done a minute revision going to fail it despite having the potential to get  underachieved my whole life from fucking depression ,3.0
28870,and just now i finished resident evil  o really good game only the controls were a bit annoying but i got used to that ,0.0
28871,i am very disappointed and sad hes trending,2.0
28872,anxiety gt paranoia,2.0
28873,phish please tour europe again soon its too expensive to travel to the us ,2.0
28874,amunhotepra very sad that we could not keep a documentary about him all black,2.0
28875,misterjames love being an entrepreneurpls see httpimrancomimrananwar amp httplinkedincominimran ,0.0
28876,i just need something to keep me going ive has depression and suicidal thoughts for literally as long as i can remember i have this vivid memory of being a child i believe i was six or so writing a suicide note i dont think i even knew what i was doing i just knew how i felt inside i have zero friends my family relationship is strained my household gives me one of my biggest source of unhappiness i dont have a job nor do i go to school i have no passion motivations or hobbies to keep me goingi have horrible body issues i nitpick myself for hours everyday ive gone to eat as little as i could i havent checked my weight in months but last i checked i was at the  mark am  for reference its not just my weight but every part of me i find unattractive its caused me to become a recluse i just sit in my room all day i dont do anything just think and thats itas more times pass more thoughts enter my system and i just want one thing anything that can give me some sort of will to keep going ,3.0
28877, womanwithin i love the catalog and my new dress  i need more work clothes but cant afford to shop anymore for now ,2.0
28878,lloydyghey handsome and the rest of the crew ,0.0
28879,fuck facebook overrun by quizzes and faggotry now i need a new cool and hip social networking site ,2.0
28880,stg,2.0
28881,itstudios httpwwwsocialmediadouchebagnet aw dammit now i have to scrap that skit for my show   it was gonna be a good bit too,2.0
28882,rt scottsantens annual incomes and employment rates dont show the massive amount of variance in our monthly earnings a ,1.0
28883,xbbyamyy selena gomez has tht alrdyhaharob is good enough ferr me tho ,0.0
28884,mochamomma quotit sounded like a good idea at the timequot famous last words ,0.0
28885,shopping is so much better than revision  better finish these leaving books,0.0
28886,rt simphiwedana the reason i talk about my depression is because silence kills depression flourishes in silence when you name and talk,1.0
28887,brokeninside for a start kaddy doesnt even have twitterthere was no reason to say that  le sigh dont lauren its minus craic,2.0
28888,my step dad is out of town and i want to help my mom but i cant my step dad helps my mom out a lot with the house and hes gone for the whole month for work i want to help my mom and pick up my share of the work in the house but its so hard to find the motivation i tell myself that im gonna clean up and vacuum and all the stuff that he does but when the time comes i can never seem to do it my mom gets up at  works all day then comes home and makes dinner and i just want to be able to give her the break she deserves but its so hard to do even the simplest of tasks ,3.0
28889,on plane to anchortown see ya later maui ,2.0
28890,vitamins for depression i was wondering if any one has tried to use a natural way to improve your mood i dont want to use antidepressants because i know theres a lot of side effects and i already have a bad stomach to begin with so i dont want to make it worse ive been taking  an hour before i sleep during the day ill take b complex vitamin d if i remember and this supplement called focus from gnc which boosts my mood and also enhances my focus i like this one so far but i havent been consistent with it i still get days where i feel incredibly lazy but i have to say my recurring depression doesnt feel as worse as last year maybe because i started taking vitamins earlier i dont really know whats the proper way to take these to get maximum absorbency and reading research online overwhelms me does someone have a vitamin regime theyd like to share  id like to know how much and when you usually take it anything would help thanks so much,3.0
28891,i have a problem wit dikesi cant help it theyre mental health patience 🤷🏽‍♂️,0.0
28892,beckinelson crossroads  get in the mood fpr britbrit   xoxo,0.0
28893,my bubba fish died  he was   rip bubba ,2.0
28894,phone will b off  quotsad facequot ,2.0
28895, hi kat ,0.0
28896,is having an amazing time just sitting here listening to my myspace profile playlist and having the funniestcutest conversations ever ,0.0
28897,karolscorner proud of you for doing whats best for you and your mental health xx 💓,0.0
28898,firas when the quotmachinesquot and the internets take over it is will be because of this research you are doing mr scientist ,0.0
28899,jaycbee no problemo ,0.0
28900,dogcrazy on my youtube page i am ok cuz i know who i am thanks ,0.0
28901,loquacities lol youll enjoy that ,0.0
28902,well this is just awkward ,0.0
28903,happy hump day  i hope you all have wild and crazy sex and think about me i dont think i have the energy today to have it myself ,2.0
28904,my life has literally just been being a burden to people literally every single instant of my life has just been burdening othersi was adopted this is the reason for this being a throwaway so the chances of me having been born out of wedlock or to a teenage girl somewhere are high as fuck basically i wasnt wanted or needed from birth nice way to start huhmy parents went through so much to get me and theyve spent so much on me and all their efforts have just resulted in a dumbass teenager whos probably going to fail in life and disappoint them coupled with the mental health issues which could have been inherited from my birth parents who i dont fucking know because they didnt want me nor will i ever attempt to find them because theyll find out that the kid they adopted out in hopes of having a better life will have been a faliure anywayidk fam this was just a rant of everything im feeling so that i dont end up ranting this to the few friends who still give a fuck about me or yelling at my parents again and being the shittiest child ever now ive got it all out maybe i can pretend to be happy for a bit more maybe even convince myself again before everything falls down around me and i succumb to my depressive tendancies again,3.0
28905,never eat chocolate and glow stick stuff ,2.0
28906,anyone around to talk hello ive been dealing with anxiety and depression for as long as i can remember i just recently admitted to myself that i need to do something about it i started on paxil approx  months ago and i recently switched to effexor approx  months ago im usually quite good at handling it i would say i have high functioning anxietydepression i dont think anyone would expect me to have it except the people ive told basically ive hit a wall i dont feel suicidal but i called a suicide hotline and was put on hold and for some reason that just made me hopeless i ended up just hanging up before i talked to anyone im just wondering if anyone out there has a moment to talk maybe let me vent get some advice anything would be great thanks,3.0
28907,dannitothemoon haha well thanks  my favorite right now is my gabe one  idk why hahaha,0.0
28908,rt brittxtc i will forever hate having anxiety this feeling in my chest and my heart beating this fast nonstop is frustrating,1.0
28909,i so wish i was going to see mcfly on tour  httptinyurlcomdmvcpm,2.0
28910,i didnt study at allllllll tonight rawr and now im tired ,2.0
28911,the weather right now is  degrees but it feels like  california is definitely heating up now ,2.0
28912,frustrated with motives i am really frustrated with life in general because everyone seems so fake like a shell of who and what they really aremy friends feign small talk when i happen to be around but rarely keep up with me nobody asks how im doing or if i want to hangout im used for one reason or another whether thats asking for a ride or using my printer but im a outsider to my friends or so i thinkmy divorced parents regularly tell me they love me but it feels fake and forced just like i do with my friends my head tells me to look for their motive for conveying affection it could be a variety of things like building their own social resume so that they can show off the kid they support to show how wonderful they are or maybe to just follow basic social norms i feel like my head tells me one thing and my heart another i dont understand peoples actions like im some sort of alien trying to fit in with all of them one minute i feel included loved supported and maybe a sliver of happiness the next moment usually later that day has me picking apart peoples actions why did soandso say this word instead of this one do they dislike me is it because of this one action i did thus begins the nightly snowball of selfhate wondering if these people would care if i just vanished sometimes i think about the logistics of just leaving everything behind buying a one way ticket across the country and beginning a new life but then the gravity of these thoughts hits me and i go back to hating myself what kind of person would actually hate the situation im in i feel selfish for thinking these thoughts especially after reading some of the hardships people in this subreddit and around the world go through sometimes my mind drifts to thoughts of suicide or self harm but then makes me think of what could possibly be on the other side of death i mixed with so many different thoughts and emotions and i wish i could just pay someone to surgically go into my head and remove all my thoughts of selfdoubt and misconstrued trust ,3.0
28913,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
28914,anyone else want someone to cry with i sure do if you need to vent too someone i will try and help you ,3.0
28915,omfg my phone crashed fml seriously ,0.0
28916,yet another depressed  something on the internet nothing feels good anymore i sleep for most of the day until my body starts to ache nothing good on tv nothing to watch or play the same albums going on repeat trying to drown out my excruciating thoughts going outside is like a nightmare a constant reminder of my failures and alienation exams are coming up my livelihood depends on me regurgitating information on paper and yet i cant make myself to even look at the material whats it all for at the end of the day im the same worthless piece of shit with a broken brain ive alienated everyone because i cant stand myself im so lonely yet nothing makes me feel worse than being around other people oh hey there acquaintance im doing good this is the first time ive heard myself talk out loud the entire week oh what am i doing i live an exciting life a mix of night dreaming and day dreaming with the occasional suicidal ideation to really spice things up yeah see ya later,3.0
28917,i feel like i have no control over my life whatsoever i feel like my family is always going to be there peering down on me judging me restraining me i dont know how to put my emotions into words its gotten cliché my family is just too dependent on me they ask me to do too much im tired of keeping it inside and pretending that im more than happy to help all the time im not i hate hating my family i really do but i cant help but hate them they made me this wayi hate not knowing what i want every thought every statement every actionthey all contradict one anotheri want to die i dont want to diei want to get married i dont want to marriedi want to have kids i dont want to have kidsi wish i had friends i dont need friendsi should do work it doesnt even matterits not worth it but what if it isi hate myselfi hate myselfim so afraid of everything of life of death ofeverythingwhat am i even doing with my life what now what next what ever,3.0
28918,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
28919, not this lame one,2.0
28920, weeks left of the semester dont know how to tell professors my depression is affecting my coursework hi alli graduate this semester and there are roughly  weeks left ive been on antidepressants since the middle of last semester and everything was going okay until last week i just woke up one day and felt just as awful as i did before i started taking meds i wouldnt say i was suicidal at that time more just wishing i could blink out of existence andor give everything up ive always been an ab student my department is small and all of my professors know me and like me but last week i woke up and i just couldnt do it i skipped an entire week of school its monday and ive skipped againi have my capstone thesis draft do countless japanese assignments a japanese speech outline and two more  page essays that are all either overdue or due soon i feel like its too late to tell my professorsi get my meds from the pharmacy on campus and was seeing a counselor regularly until i got way way too busy i dont know what to do i love school— i want to be a professor even but im having one of the roughest weeks in years and i just dont know what to sayplease if any of you have experienced this or know someone who has what did they say i just feel like its too late to tell them,3.0
28921, maybe we should just wait  itd be great to see it  have a nice sunday,0.0
28922,got my blades saw land of the lost and heading out again in a couple hours today keeps getting better  yay saturdaysfb,0.0
28923,danielfielding didnt think so oooh you are very cool  i have a few i collect famous comedians on facebook  x,0.0
28924,merlene johncpiercy seriouslylike this is a real contest  zzzzzzzz  womansclub rules tho we have to let them think theyve won ,0.0
28925,i need love to have even a shred of happiness i know that does sound pathetic but when i did finally find someone it felt like life was worth living i just wanted to spend my life with her it was all so exciting but she wanted to meet new people and be with someone elsei didnt hold back and i let her go it sucked but it is what it isnow its been more than  years since then but i sincerely miss it someone i can talk to and be with but im back to being in this state and my heart just really hurts all the time i dont think ill ever be good enough for someone,3.0
28926,about to lose another job due to do a combination of depression and anxiety partially caused low blood sugar issues and lack of appetite and good sleep coupled with my battle trying to quit weed i do go on rleaves its been a vicious cycle because i need to be eating morebetter but its been impossible with my lack of appetite i havent wanted to try antidepressants bc im very sensitive and one kind i tried in the past made me even foggier and because i feel like i just need to reset my body and be eating well with all the proper nutrients good sleep and some exercise along with being clean my friend just reminded me of  i might trybut this sucks yet again i know im having low blood sugar and need to eat but my brain screams no and feels like my body wouldnt even accept food anyway and i just lay here energyless fighting with myself or distracting myself until i cant take it anymore and force myself to get up feeling weak af only to be pissed and eat some food that will help but not fix the problem and somewhere in there i eventually care and smoke a lil shitty weed in desperate attempts to scrounge up an appetiteanyway meanwhile i couldnt get the mental or physical energy to go to my new job that couldnt be any easier but i know theyre pissed at me for calling in sick so much after just starting that it makes my anxiety worse and not want to go back today even more i rationalize too bc i didnt know theyd only want me to work  hrs anyway so ive been applying to a bunch of fulltime jobs anyway this job im losing only pays  an hour and i know i can suck it up and work for uber eats in the meantime and should make more even tho im embarrassed bc they wont let me change my picture and im dreading getting order from people i know but i figure ill suck it up bc itll be that or starve until i get a new job and survival mode will kick in againso then the fact that im losing this job due to depression and anxiety just furthers the depression and anxiety i should be able to work for uber eats i think but right now all i can do is lay in bed just kind of paralyzed and numb like that meme with the fire all around the dog saying this is fine i ended a my  year relationship  years since my dad odd and died in his sleep lost my grandparents and dad each year from  its been  years since i lost my childhood friends and i officially have no friends anymore extremely broke i just finished college four years late and trying to get a job but if i dont fix these issues ill screw that up too alright pity party over for the time being lol,3.0
28927,breadwinnerhaj look at what u just sad before that u said get two times in a row you bafoon,1.0
28928,rt shakeelmahama i wish you all an anxiety free fun filled and productive week,0.0
28929,my wrist is hurting i think i have carpal tunnel ,2.0
28930,no voice the concert was amaziiing though  the video is up on my page httpwwwmyspacecomkathrynchinchor,0.0
28931,kittybelle ars magica was an rpg that came with a huge rulebook ,0.0
28932,found a little dog looks like a tiny dobermanpincher the chihuahua is bigger than it is he wont drink water wonder where he came from ,2.0
28933,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
28934,seeing quotcasi angelesquot i lov it ,0.0
28935,examexam ,2.0
28936,up and not excited to be ,2.0
28937,headache ,2.0
28938,a way of putting it into words that ive been thinking of i kinda feel like im just putting all of my energy all of my passion and soul into keeping myself as far out of the pit of despair as possible and while im still in there ive also not got anything of myself left,3.0
28939, ok jeremaine dupritremaineusherbowwowbryan coxdj clinton sparksnellyim goin hard for trey trey ,0.0
28940,schofe   great picture  hope you didnt throw too much in ,0.0
28941,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
28942,dsashin re upa little sad in partsbut really sweetworth the trip ,0.0
28943, gracias por el rt ,0.0
28944,rt mobang if we could convert stress into energy then schools would become power plants,1.0
28945,missed the sugarplum fairy livestream from rar  but will hopefully not miss the one from bloc party,2.0
28946,thought today was the first day for bio turned out it was yesterday stupid paper ,2.0
28947,ask for abdi tell him daniel from thirsty in la sent you ,0.0
28948,rt youngbabycoco stfu bitch ,2.0
28949,jasabout id like to meet you before the cylons take you ,0.0
28950,moyette iam sorry iam just help you ,2.0
28951, unless today is september   you wont be buying scribblenauts ,2.0
28952,anenih cancels  birthday celebration over sad state of nigeria others ,1.0
28953,rules are ment to be broken and i love breaking them ,0.0
28954,just watched seven poundshow sad is that film ,2.0
28955,finished watching prison breaksoooo gooood but soooooooooooooooo saaaddd  bloody good showfinished it off fantastically,2.0
28956,lunacyxx thank god no  hehe any listy ideas,0.0
28957,raghuvamsip ive just joined twitter give me a chance ,0.0
28958,riseagainstchic well you guys suck  just kidding ,0.0
28959,in  toll services other  people on way to liverpool game to  roadchef brekkie truly horrible ,2.0
28960,rt mehdirhasan isnt it weird how we muslims seem somehow immune to mental health issues  my latest column on terror threats ,2.0
28961,i wish things would go back to normal ,2.0
28962,kissahasrsd yeah ive been doing physio for  years but lately its been kicking my butt more than usual ,2.0
28963,no up today but we did get some photos done ,0.0
28964,home from randals baseball game they r  now amp randal got the game ball  ,0.0
28965,its too early for me to b awake n a fri  ,2.0
28966,laying in the hammock and taking a nap ,0.0
28967,karlabearz thanks you too ,0.0
28968,perpetualkid you better i had plans for those  bucks bummer ,2.0
28969, its just a lot of work but the ladies look nice ,0.0
28970,its going to be nice again tomorrow and then the rain comes back no nice weather for my birthday ,2.0
28971,took the train  da bx got my shape up looking freshh ,0.0
28972,playing spanish scrabble in class then who knows bc no cheesecake today ,2.0
28973,vivacions  ill be there next week i swear,2.0
28974,the cavs are letting me down so much ,2.0
28975,i just dled  songs ,0.0
28976,therealjordin i grew up listening to both of them ,0.0
28977,i hate being sick and having a stuffy nose i cant breathe ,2.0
28978,whenever i have time off work im always like im going to do this that amp everything when in reality i just fall into the depression pit,0.0
28979,i reallllllly wanted julian smith to win ,2.0
28980,ashleexposed want me to read a story ,0.0
28981,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
28982,reeeeally not looking forward to tomorrow  exams to fail    no lunch  break  aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh,2.0
28983,sadet stop complainin im in ct and the sun refuses to shine ,2.0
28984,rt trolldiergirl as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against watching anime all humans need anime in fact its the lack of a,2.0
28985,ashishmohta  thanks for not forgetting about snagit  much appreciated,0.0
28986,alistairjh no it hasent as it ,2.0
28987,i got a job interview friday im so fucking excited planning outfit now ,0.0
28988,loneliness i feel lonely almost everyday but at the same time struggling to make friends this makes me feel so useless that i cant make friends and deal with this feeling of loneliness how do you guys combat loneliness ,3.0
28989,wishes she was going to graduation  boo work,2.0
28990, lucky you  i love the beach love the ocean too bad i live in the middle of the desert ,2.0
28991,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
28992,just lost an ebay auction screw you bidder  ,2.0
28993,feeling discouraged  weeks ago i finally got the courage to talk to my doctor about my depression he prescribed me  of zoloft and i was taking it for  weeks i started to feel better and i started to feel real feelings then i started to get hives so tonight my doctor told me to stop taking the zoloft right away and see if the hives go away after a week im sad because i was finally starting to feel normal but my body decides to be allergic to the medication anyone deal with something similar,3.0
28994,ff for food then to get ready for last show tonight  saratoga back home to uk tomorrow  x,2.0
28995,marissarain you so  ,0.0
28996,yep me always do ,0.0
28997,baby we dont stand a chance its sad but its true,1.0
28998,rt thatdutchperson me struggles with mental health has trouble making rent  unanswered calls from mom cant find catalso me i sho,2.0
28999,looking forward to another semimeandering day church and then a lazy afternoon with my old man before he leaves on his road trip ,0.0
29000,back from kayyy house ampamp the baby shower  wish muff couldve been there ,2.0
29001,  ok i had to follow you i love the shit you find  ,0.0
29002, yea u did lol didnt u u talked about it ,2.0
29003,dvineexpression good morning ,0.0
29004,well good night twitter ,0.0
29005,aaha just found a piece of pizza yummy its not enough but this is all i have ,2.0
29006,the thing which made life better for me was taken i have no friends little family a mum with schizophrenialast year i bought a motorbike and the other day it got stolen i feel like my whole life has been removed that bike was something that made me happy and gave me a boost in lifenow im back to my state of crying everyday i just had my  birthday i hate birthdays because i cant celebrate them as i have no one and no body my suicidal thoughts have been triggered bad things keep happening to me the list is endless i keep being strong but one day i will pop because it keeps pushing me closer and closer to the edgeim really not happy with my current living situation my house which i live with my mum is a disgusting i live in the bad part of londoni have nothing and no one,3.0
29007, no the musical ,2.0
29008,judezxo ohhh okay thats fucking disgusting what people are saying stupid pedos  ily,2.0
29009,i dont understand this some weeks ago i was thinking about suicide and i even wrote another letter but ever since last week its like as if i had snapped out of it but now i feel indifferent towards almost everything i dont think about suicide unless i force myself to do so and sometimes its like i feel bad if i dont think about it daily its like as if i wanted myself to be sick why am i like that why do i feel like im kind of an attention seeker let me say i havent talked to anyone about this let alone a therapist but i dont really fathom why ive been feeling numb all of a sudden     ,3.0
29010,nmcgivney as for harbingersthem amp portents can sod off  each time i get smthng for the garden it rains for weeks got a tomato plant ,2.0
29011,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
29012,rt mmandaaarenee be a bad bitch not a sad bitch,2.0
29013,rt mehdirhasan isnt it weird how we muslims seem somehow immune to mental health issues  my latest column on terror threats ,2.0
29014,lducoudray oh wow awesome  too bad i dont plan on celebrating my birthday ,2.0
29015,praveenvasudev  wish i had someone send me luck all the way from japan when i had to study the poems ,2.0
29016,looking fwd for vacations gt to finish exams first ,2.0
29017,berlin here i come  buhhbye to all yo little creeperss xdd ,0.0
29018,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
29019,reallamarodom to bad im not in la because here in nyc it is cold and rainy   ,2.0
29020,tymefamily  supp,0.0
29021,chrsbfflr wtf why not ,2.0
29022,rt  btsinfl thinking about this tour makes me sad because i know i cant go unless they come go florida im not trying to,2.0
29023,finally got some good rain yesterdayhopefully itll continue so our grass wont be brown anymore ,0.0
29024,is sick and feels like death ,2.0
29025,just came back from the doctors sore throat blehhhhh ,2.0
29026,im feeling neglected ,2.0
29027,my followers r fading away  wot can i  u stay,2.0
29028,i woke up   ,2.0
29029,yall should never take my tweets seriously like imma be sayin im sad rn but what i actually mean is i am suck ,1.0
29030, the first song reminds me of older tbs at parts  if i dont reply back that means i have fallen asleep it is almost  here,0.0
29031,watching quotfrequencyquot such a cool movie absolutely love it i think ive already seen it  times ,0.0
29032,rt  can these next few months just like fast forward bc im sad ,0.0
29033,ryanodonnell power outage made me miss the   live stream ,2.0
29034,good night everyone mcflyforgermany remember that ,0.0
29035,damn tired after a great trip to hogenakal waterfalls ,0.0
29036,installing sims cos i fixed my poota ,0.0
29037,its official im sick i think i have a fever ,2.0
29038,olisandler gotta say i completely agree with that one foli hope youre all good up in preston ,0.0
29039,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
29040,taderdoodles hey mama give the lil smurfs a hug from nj  hmmmmmay need to order from you too ,0.0
29041,so please if suicide is what you think will help if the only way you think this will go away is the drugs or killi ,0.0
29042,rt kaylacotton im a sad bitch,2.0
29043,has got three children of a bodom tracks and a xerath song  go me ,0.0
29044,the world is waiting  for the forsaken,0.0
29045,theking well that is good as long as you enjoyed yourself it was worth the loss of twitter time  lol,0.0
29046,shares  my latest blog entry  ,0.0
29047,i dont know if im depressed or something else for context im  live with parents generally happy dudeso ill just start with my biggest problem i cant motivate my self to do fuckin anything no matter how important it is and how much i know i need to do something i just wont ill play video games or something else stupid like i have a bunch of scholarships i need to do and they are all really easy i just cant do it idk whats wrong with me idk if its depression or something else other than that im tired almost constantly even if i get good sleep and have occasional mood swing but i usually write those off as teenage shit,3.0
29048,officialthrice and when you guys will be playing in colombia ,2.0
29049,rt mikmiklabadz maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety itll leave me too,1.0
29050,good morning hungry still cant belive that germany is only   ,2.0
29051,mileycyrus just finished voting for you  good luck  ,0.0
29052,btw does anyone want an old  im about to go drop it off at recycling ,2.0
29053,artedeb phillippines you get around artedeb  happy tuesday,0.0
29054,i feel so trapped need an exit button so ive been avoiding having to post this im usually a very strong person and well capable of handling my emotional breakdowns but today is not one of those days i feel so empty and alone and depressed and ive been fighting this feeling for a month but i dont feel this patience is taking me anywhere nothing has changed in the past month theres been zero improvement in my life situation it has almost become normal to live with depression there are days like today when i feel so tired ive even had suicidal thoughts but i cant let my parents go through that suffering in the end i just dont know what to do neither is my life getting better nor can i end it i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
29055,hiya this is my  tweet   im so tired though i cant belive it work cos normally when im realli tired i do everything wrong x,0.0
29056,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
29057,everybody follow my sister barbabella  ,0.0
29058,thinking about dropping out of school again but im so torn tired of struggling but i know that classes will give me a reason to get up in the morning when i get to my classes i just zone out and walk like a zombie through each day i really dont know what is best for me anymore whats the point of walking through the fucking brain fog i hate iti need to make a decision soon about withdrawing and i am so torn as of what to do everybody is telling me do what you think is best for you i am lost and i have no idea what is best for me,3.0
29059,badjokeoftheday hey  whats the bad joke of today      ,0.0
29060,cuban mmmmmmmmm its been over  weeks feels like years ,0.0
29061,is in bed its to hot i cant sleep  x,2.0
29062,i heart katy gill ,0.0
29063,rt mindcharity mind asked  uk employees about their mental health and found people in public sector were more likely to take ,1.0
29064,guten morgen twitterland                         happy birthday dad                                                i love you ,0.0
29065,wats good twitterbabes how as yall doing can someone please send me so uplifting words im kinds down its been one of those weeks ,2.0
29066, ever feel your brain melt while numb,3.0
29067,tatty haha you just made me lol so hard haha im glad you caught that ,0.0
29068,sdesocio a good bloke to be sure  but he loves to peel your theological weaknesses like an onion   bahales and i have experienced it,0.0
29069,day started so bad today  but went to the peace pagoda and saw the monks felt much better after a walk around the lake ,2.0
29070,actually missed listening to tony horne in the morning this morning i wont be listening to it for  more days ,2.0
29071,erinlouise  being a fan is certainly not about being attractive but if you like the pink to each their own  canucks,0.0
29072,why cant i kill myself i dont want to be here anymore i  want to kill myself why cant i do it ive been on the verge of trying several times this month but i just cant do it i dont know whats stopping me either im wishing for a terrible accident so i can just be gone i hope i get this virus im already immunocompromised so i know it would work i just wish i had the strength to have done it already,3.0
29073,ddlovato you should come to indiana we never get to see you guys ,2.0
29074,paulawhite nicemy grandma used to give me sweatpants and underwear ,0.0
29075,sonnyjoeflangan awesome i would love to hear about your epic adventures mr flangan  haha xx ,0.0
29076,toddler is throwing a knock down tantrum pulled my hair amp scratched my face wth out of no where  ,2.0
29077,i just found out some girl from my high schools parents were in that plane horrible ,2.0
29078,and diverdown lets go to bigcitydiner after cuz you love me ,0.0
29079,chaos in irans streets  why are the innocent dying,2.0
29080,ay k bien la mental health eh,2.0
29081,my father just was just starting his recovery from depression and yesterday his closest brother died how do i comfort him please help hes been almost back to his old self for the past month now how do i help him handle this situation,3.0
29082,back in london    ,2.0
29083,nomadicmatt wow congrats ,0.0
29084,ama im in tms treatment transcranial magnetic stimulation when i searched reddit for this topic before starting tms i found very little now that im doing it i wanted to share my experiences to help others who have questions so ask me anything im  treatments in and its going well if people express interest in addition to answering any questions you may have ill edit this top level post as things progress,3.0
29085,sandeepsripada chkd ur tweet a little late  caught the closing,2.0
29086,is now at work  ,2.0
29087,talking to angel  galactic,0.0
29088,gaji kecik dan banyak komitmenarghhhstress,1.0
29089,aliasgrace  sorry to hear that,2.0
29090,chillin at work tonight all patients resting c eyes closed turned and positioned and now i am playing on the computer ,0.0
29091,im sad and im not sure why ive read about depression and im pretty sure im not depressed im a first year student in the dental field and life is pretty stressful im going to school from home now i cant really focus much ive been going through bouts of deep sadness for a while but this has been really difficult recently im losing sense of who i am i dont have many hobbies so i cant really get back to those to find who i was but i know for a fact im not sure who i am anymore it feels like im spectating my life somewhat and im always making wrong decisions and learning from the mistakes rather than knowing my first decision need not change i dont use drugs other than weed and hardly ever drink my mind feels very messed up and jumbled im having issues realizing what i want and how to get them im really not sure what to say im just looking for some advice before i start struggling to a point where im getting dangerous to myself,3.0
29092,i hate everything i feel like my life is worthless i cant wait until i die not by suicide never by suicide ill just wait for the universe to finish my sentence,3.0
29093,rt faliqfahmie sedihnya kalau girlfriend sendiri cakap youre not a priority maybe a boyfriend is not your number  priority after fami,1.0
29094,baomoi youtube có caption mà �ang dùng greasemonkey cố lấy cái caption v� ,2.0
29095,me and girls my friends say a girl has been dropping hints at me but tbh i think so low of myself i think she is just fucking with me so i probably will not talk to her and let her get over me if it is real and if she is just fucking with me it wouldbt be the first time someone did that,3.0
29096,imannyirock its good and you know it  greenday,0.0
29097,antiisfaggot tabi im begging you ,2.0
29098,msiagirl mmm i love lazy sundays all the better if spent in your company dear ,0.0
29099,i cant believe you get sooo hooked in lost at first i was lost watching lost but now i find it easy ,0.0
29100,enjoyed listening to the movie mona lisa smiles while the girls watched it ,0.0
29101,mpesce is it raining in sydney ,0.0
29102,amykate glad its not just me by myself scrubbing kitchen cupboard doors and floor etc we all get through bad days our own way ay ,0.0
29103,pappeitis really boring during the weekends no south park  btw which season is this one the one on  as of now,2.0
29104, hey thanks to you i will enjoy my freedom today god bless u soldier  ,0.0
29105,how to talk to my gf about depression without worrying her hi so i have been depressed for going on  years now ive had my ups and downs with it about a year ago i was really bad but eversince i started dating this girl things have gotten a lot better and i had even gotten to the point where i thought i had beat it my brother killed himself a few months ago though and between that and stress over school ive started to get bad again i think about my brother every day and between that and extreme stress over school im on academic probation bc i didnt study for finals after the death last semester its been really tough to do anything my girlfriend is really taking notice but after all she went through last time i was bad i really dont want to tell her how bad it is and make her worry more its gotten to a point where were having fights because she can tell somethings wrong but im not giving a lot of details how can i communicate better with her without sending her into red alert mode,3.0
29106,rox is really sore and she yelps when she jumps on and off my bed it breaks my heart i dont wanna leave her today ,2.0
29107,woken by dark rain lashing against window woke again at  to find light breeze helping the sun mopup and ringout a nice morning ,0.0
29108,ianrobinson it is easy to get confused in  chars  for me anyway,2.0
29109,wow this is so sad ,2.0
29110,im thinking a driving trip of america could be fun ,0.0
29111,talked for like  hrs with rj it was a good conversation though ,0.0
29112,sad ,2.0
29113,lewyloubear oh yer but i also had a headache so i cant sleep ,2.0
29114,how does your depression affect your child  world of psychology ,2.0
29115,its so freaking hot its makimg me feel sick ,2.0
29116, you know me and computers i understand it works well for the rest of the world ,2.0
29117,why dont i feel like im enough anymore after she left i let everything spiral out of control ab student to a fucking failure ive always had social anxiety and felt numb but now i just wish i didnt exist i wish this pain didnt exist i didnt know what really being loved felt like before her i dont feel comfortable with my body anymore i dont blame her though im boring useless worthless i dont fit societies expectations im a soft sensitive guy who the fuck wants that why do i only feel when i hurt myself why am i still here,3.0
29118,ellyboulton oh i went on friday  found a couple of really nice ones but there were no moomin ones  got a discosaurus one though,2.0
29119, but ill get fiiiiiiired ,2.0
29120,beeeeautiful day out there posting  wrapping ebay things then the days my moisture ,0.0
29121,lisaoverman facinated to know why you starte following me ,0.0
29122,is messing around with dylan ,0.0
29123,is missing everyone right now i cant believe its gonna be  until everyones back together ,2.0
29124, but im soo confused on what to get  the one i was gonna get they dont have time to do today so i want anotha  for now,2.0
29125,i love you babe ,0.0
29126,porkchopjones sorry   move back,2.0
29127,im so jealous i could be seeing the killers live tonight  but im not going darn,2.0
29128,venaflaxine ive been on this for almost a year now gradually going up with my dosage and now take  once a day i havent had any symptoms since starting it and have taken a few weeks break here and there i havent taken it for the last two ish weeks until yesterday since i took my pill ive been clenching my jaw a lot and cant stop doing it because there is just a strong urge to do so i havent done anything differently lately ive never had this problem before even with stress etc could this be from venaflaxine ,3.0
29129,my mom is starting therapy soon whoop my mom has been sad ever since i could remember i brought up the idea that maybe she has a chronic low grade form of depression i red an article on iti also asked of shed be interested in therapy if i paid for it she said maybe in her language that means yeah but you gotta set up the appointment and drag me out of my comfort zone until i decide if i want to continue or not so i called and set up an appointment i hope this helps her get better ive had a few family members who did it and it changed their lifei did therapy for different reasons and it was greattldrmy mom is getting help and i just needed someone to celebrate with 🙂,3.0
29130,wtf im so tired oo  ampamp i hope i didnt get him sick ,2.0
29131,i want to sell my life  hello redditbefore you read i just want to point out that this is not a suicide post i have no intentions on taking my life no matter how bad things get its always better to live and this is the reason i make this postim a young man that has been depressed for many years ive tried a lot of things to change things around but nothing really helps im never really happy i have drowned these emotions in the past by pointless relationships and comfort by many different women since my early teenage years which has been destructive for myself and people around me the only thing that made me feel alright was running and sex but it just filled the hole for a brief momentone year ago i decided to stop seeing women and just focus on myself and finish my studies at the university it went alright in the beginning but the last  months has been hell for me i cant sleep i get anxiety and i even contemplated suicide i had a long dialog with myself the other night that i need to change my life since my brain and body seems to tell me i rather die than keep doing what im doing so in conclusion i want to leave my life and identity and help someone elseim giving my life to someone instead of taking itmy question is how can i start over completely fresh in a new country with enough to survive less than a month i can take any job i want some input on this topic with information or experience from other people on this forumtldr im tired of my life and want to start over im willing to sell my life to help others,3.0
29132,hating being here ,2.0
29133,kittymortimer bummer  youll probably figure it out soon  ,0.0
29134, if you know anyone eligible for this study perceptions on romantic relatnships spread the word ,0.0
29135,francesmarieee weve got  months to be together  im so excited ,0.0
29136,just got home going back to the church in a but ,2.0
29137,yay joss is coming over on saturday   ,0.0
29138,its gone i miss it ,2.0
29139,what a sunny day  amp im stuck in  meh,2.0
29140,jonasbrothers but yall always be there for me ,0.0
29141,on my way to get my nails done  they need to be cut down they are getting  long  but not  short i love having love nails ,0.0
29142,my throat hurst a lot ,2.0
29143,becauseiknewyou  looks like were gonna miss earnie  shes on  epic fail,2.0
29144,having horrible horrible nightmares lovely   not nice at all whx,2.0
29145,today is going to be a good day ,0.0
29146,making popcorn  then resting  thennnnn getting ready to head to pc a little laterrr  ,0.0
29147,evilsorceress tehe enjoy your drink od yum chips would love some but too fattening for me  lol i told u my german was crap lol x,2.0
29148,glad i checked twitter before leaving for tech meeting  i didnt know the guys had finished school  always last to know lately thx ,2.0
29149,chocablog thanks it will id just like to know as it happens  gutted i didnt change my trip to paris to be  the final presentation,0.0
29150,thanks to kbinnyc kimijtoo thescrubshub for the follow friday love  ,0.0
29151,everyone has brain worms this season because a really genuinely bad horrible evil bad but i wont get into it godd ,2.0
29152,my throat hurts terribly bad ,2.0
29153,im going to see land of the lost tonight with ryan and im all drugged up on ibprophen and dayquil ,0.0
29154,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
29155,aimeeleelucas shaunevaristo i admire you two  yes im jealous because of bb but you have skills n deserve to work with themfighting,0.0
29156,heart beating so damm fast hopped on twitter so that this quotmadnessquot can bring me back to reality its working ,0.0
29157, get packing ,0.0
29158,sarb back in nz to help with disaster planning for swineflu ,0.0
29159,an update hallo jaidon here and i wanted to speak about how i felt since the last time i came herewhile i felt extremely down due to a recent friendzone i soon was able to recoveri may not be fully recovered yet but i have since felt better talking to them i may still not talk to my friends a lot but i wil always stick with themas far as relationships goes i am still a single boy but at least i am starting to realize that it doesnt matter if i am single if i based all my success on dating status i will never be truly happy  thats all i really want to say i have felt better in these past few months and if i felt down again i know where to go,3.0
29160,maryjuanalin youre welcome   hows everything with u today,0.0
29161,styromus thats okay keep talking to me and eventually ill just bore you to sleep  ,0.0
29162,its official episode iii has a curse on it im still trying to get it out and it seems that no matter what i do its not happening ,2.0
29163,really missing my sleepy saturday today ,2.0
29164,too many great peeps followfriday  fleurylvr victoriaelle     omgitsjen ,0.0
29165, since there are no torrents online  ,2.0
29166,depression hits✅depression playlist✅regret living✅suicide or self harm✅lost in my minddepression cycle nearly done 🤙🏼,2.0
29167,i woke up with a terrible headache ,2.0
29168,andreakoeln that makes two of us  ,2.0
29169,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
29170,metalross sweet two followfriday mentions for me in the same tweet ,0.0
29171,reinavalentina its ok boo i work every sat  hate it in the summer time,2.0
29172,shubhamsingal yeah im having one just woke up and having some coffee ,0.0
29173,dapyeollie sinks deeper into my hole of depression,2.0
29174,markryes morning hun how are you and facebook i do both ,0.0
29175,i miss carter sigh   ,2.0
29176,heroes  ended up rocking i hope zq returns though ,2.0
29177,going home soon eventually hah ,0.0
29178,scanning external hd for viruses so many files huhuhu ,2.0
29179,at the pool with mirandajohnstephtroy and demarcus ,0.0
29180,really just crying for everything right now i havent really cried in a while despite being hilariously depressed for what feels like years im  have had massive self esteem issues since the beginning of high school which translated into runofthemill depression probably around senior year despite this im not really a crier  i prefer to internalize everything and let it turn into moodiness and coldness generally towards my family as sad as that is however right now im crying like seriously crying  as hard as i can without waking up my parents or sister as im currently home from school on quarantine crying about my first love the one who i wanted for years had for weeks and lost just as quickly we havent spoken in years and went completely no contact after the breakup but i checked her instagram the other day and it seems like shes dating this varsity college soccer player at her school i genuinely wish her the bestcrying about my grandmother who basically raised me watching her as alzheimers destroyed every facet of her bright beautiful warm caring personalitycrying about my friends who definitely dont actually give a fuck about me i know they dont because im always the one who makes the plans always the one who reaches out if i didnt hit them up i would never see anyone even the people that i consider my best friendsi know the feeling isnt mutual i just fucking know it ughcrying about my parents who love me so damn much and in return receive curtness and grouchiness ad nauseam i dont do it on purpose i really dont i wish i was different they deserve a better son crying about my second love the one i love now who i definitely just ruined things with i cannot believe i fucked it up i really did didnt i the writing is on the wall things were already hard because were long distance if only we were together in the same city in the same state even but a completely different coast really the universe really doesnt seem to care about the woes of man i guessso yeah just a couple things that im crying about this post was actually slightly cathartic  ive stopped crying as i type this although i feel it coming back on great fuck this man i even feel bad about being depressed because i live such a fucking privileged life compared to  of the world theres no reason for me to feel this way ive just fucked it all up every time i get a fresh start i fuck it up fuck fuck im losing it not sure how much more i can handle,3.0
29181,tgaband its snowing  i cant even walk to my friends house,2.0
29182,just bought kites and a new pole ,0.0
29183,teeandtoast youve lost me now ,2.0
29184,andrepaular oh no sorry to read that andre ,2.0
29185, i understand completely call in sick and take a mental health day ❤️,1.0
29186,checking out scribd httpwwwscribdcomexplore pretty cool books out there  how are you guys today,0.0
29187,taking deep sighs a lot lately it seems like this whole year ive been taking moments to sigh more frequently even when im not in a sad mood it doesnt really feel like a sense of relief either just almost compulsory to do in my day to day life any one else feel like this,3.0
29188,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
29189,why i lost my necklace today it belonged to my brother i havent taken it off in the two years since he died but somehow this morning it was gone ive never had a physical item as important to me as that necklace was i keep reaching up to touch it and finding nothing and just digging my nails into my throat where its supposed to be it feels like losing him all over again fuck this world,3.0
29190,off to my wifes nieces  birthday bash not drinking tho on driving duties ,2.0
29191,you people are still here haha ,0.0
29192,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
29193, this is not at all a secret but im super passionate about mental health from my own experiences and those of family and friends amp ,0.0
29194,oh yuk nasty follower blocked no idea what i said to attract that no more like that please ,2.0
29195,aishatyler youve rescheduled your raleigh dates woo hoo but ive got to wait until nov ,2.0
29196,is it normal to want to reconnect with old friends i had a mental health crisis during my college years that led me to delete my facebook account political troll posts leading to the loss of many friends i made a new one  but im afraid ill get called out if i add some people i know,3.0
29197,i gotta go to internship today lost sunday  i just hope the time ill spend there be useful to study for tomorrows test,2.0
29198, i had a  malibu at one point ,0.0
29199,woopies i didnt finished my sentencebut i cbb nowlmaoshislah ,0.0
29200,rt blacknkhata sad truth ,0.0
29201,collectormaniac heheh the ego feels loved ,0.0
29202,oh and thank alllll of you who put me in ur follow friday  to all of my new followers i usually do it but todayim just too tired ,2.0
29203,rebekahcheng haha yeah  do you go swimming in london,0.0
29204, ive been struggling with depression my whole life ontop of adhd has anyone tried to love there depression in the sense of accepting it instead of fighting it ive been trying meditation but now its come to light that im a sex addict so if anyone has any ideas on how to i guess know when the depression is creeping in because my main issue is if i have nothing to do or nothing to keep me busy it just grips me out of nowhere n then all i can think to myself at those times is here i am again in your grips i just dont understand why being more mindful doesnt seem to be working im a high functioning depressed person im starting to get to the point where i cant cry anymore im starting to feel clogged up like theres something i know i should be feeling but just dont also im taking wellbitrun would love to hear anyones experience with it thank you,3.0
29205,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
29206, im in caerphilly about mile or so from where they go bowling and i was born in the hostpital where ness has the baby ,0.0
29207,backstreetboys no more replies  one more plsssss just say hi nallely thats it,2.0
29208,yeeaaahi know it  but before u gimme the cluei thought its something bout parisheheh,0.0
29209,  marikurisato i think ill have to try again another nightcouldnt get it right and its like    si ,0.0
29210,markjadams yay looking fwd to it ,0.0
29211,charlottexoxo  yay cant wait ,0.0
29212,yknow what i hate most thefact i only have  hours   serious fml ,2.0
29213, hmm my curve isnt happy with that site  ill ck it out later,2.0
29214,layin down on his bed  doesnt feel very good and really stressed im ready to move in with him already,2.0
29215,my corvette convertible is being held hostage this weekend  by the dealer waiting for a part so i hope it rains,2.0
29216,first tweet from twiddlier and my htcc magic ,0.0
29217,amiesc are usually quick its like hello hug pic  bye so ,2.0
29218,unreal maybe im an imposter  i have a good wife and landed a great job baby on the way  but i still feel like the sky is falling most of the time  like i dont deserve a good wife and to be a parent  like im living someone elses lifethen i think about my financial problems health problems and academic problems  i wonder how some things can be so good and some can be so bad at the same timei know what i need to do i just cant seem to do it  maybe i need new meds,3.0
29219, a good photog never forgets pictures they take i saw ur other twitpics you really love ur legs and feet dont chu ,0.0
29220,im garbage ever since i was a little kid like as far back as i can remember i was troubled and upset at the fact that i am me  like im conscious in the bag of flesh but there isnt a real connection ive never really loved myself and thought life would be better if i was someone elseraised in the mormon church they keep piling expectations on kids and put them under a lot of pressure  god is always watching try to convert obey commandments and doctrine amp covenant etc even if i hated myself i had a foundation and this was all a part of gods plan in my teens i started questioning my faith and my father drove it further for me and gave me some support in me finally resigning from the church im  and i still have no faith probably wont go back any time soonmy parents of six children were constantly working to provide for all of us with two jobs each so i didnt get to have a lot of time with them in general we appreciate each others company now but i dont know if i have that connection other people have with their parents they are just other people to mehavent had a girlfriend since i was  and even then i think she was doing it out of pity really fucking patheticin  i had a bad health complication so i decided to turn it around went from  pounds to  i tried and failed multiple times at scoring dates but would be approached if a baby momma wanted to use me to raise someone elses child fuck thatin summer  everything kind of culminated  failing with women finances got so bad i had to declare bankruptcy had to quit crossfit from said bankruptcy  that i sincerely considered suicide i walked into my doctors office and told them i was planning to kill myself it was a surreal experience they put me on some antidepressants and i fell in to zombie mode i cant stop clenching my teeth these days and it doesnt seem how potent the pills are my brain feels different except in the one category i needed assistance with in dealing with the depressionlike i said earlier im  and now back to  pounds i finally got a job in the field ive always wanted to be in information technology but im finding out im just a glorified computer janitor maybe i can upgrade to a noc technician and become a server babysitterallinall i shouldnt be alive and desperately want to die but am too much of a coward to go through with it every day i hope something happens maybe a drunk driver slams in to me maybe a crazed gunman shoots up whereever i just happen to be im tired im so tired of it all i had one shot at life and im such a complete fuckup its not worth living anymore,3.0
29221,cannot wait until thursday friday and saturday  fun times,0.0
29222,lakeaustinspa  foodiemcbody so appreciate your kind words so aware that i shall burden her wother baggage ,0.0
29223,needs a hug ,2.0
29224,going to bed might in to oakbrook  park   maro  send me a txt   i love you all good night ,0.0
29225,feels good man an old friend from our childhood group hit us up today outta nowhere ive been depressed and broke up with a girlfriend a couple days ago who was using me for money so been feeling down  he text me hey new tool album dropping soon catch up like old times  feel wholesome thanks tool for brining the boys back together,3.0
29226,brenyeo awesome youre on twitter we need to get the rest on it too ,0.0
29227,talinda love this show instant addiction ,0.0
29228,just booked his flight to dc for the summer ,0.0
29229,depressed on my birthday ive not been actually physically depressed in ages but every few months i will have  days where i feel absolutely heavy with depression but the next day its gone i used to be depressed for a year straight never left the house but its like this now its literally a physical weight on my body the emptiness was so bad today i had some really thoughtful and amazing gifts from my family members and i tried my best to act happy but literally every little thing made me want to burst into tears i feel guilty that i couldnt make today a good day and im gunna dwell on that for at least a few months even though its  not my fault my depression made me act like that i fucking hate depression it ruins everything it turns your hobbies and things that you love into physical dread or you literally cant even muster up a fake happy face because its that bad fuck man,3.0
29230,meds making me tired i started taking fluoxetine almost  weeks ago and i have been so tired and its frustrating because i thought this would help me to stop sleeping all the time due to depression i was wondering if anyone else had experienced this and if it went away or not or why this may be happening i dont have an appointment for another  weeks and who knows if that will actually happen because of the virus thanks for any insight in advance,3.0
29231,followfriday thanks angelroxy stephengonzales  dozeymagz joonieb dameunited sonjajovan performeradams  ,0.0
29232,jesicamilton lol we are polite  polite is a good thing,0.0
29233,dannydazed awwwww dd id miss you there ,2.0
29234,lddesignsnm haha i remember when that happened to tuck on his  check up it left his butt swollen for like a week cuz he was tiny  lol,2.0
29235,chrissduffy  next friday  getting a jump on it  got travel this week  rode for  easy yesterday  bent my big ring  ran a mtn ,2.0
29236,  my pops hurts so much ,2.0
29237,haha im still awake  never went to sleeppulled an all nighter wif kaylagoing to cedar point ina couple hrs  wanna talk txt cwll ,0.0
29238,i live life like a happy healthy person yet everyday i want to kill myself im debating about even posting this also its late and im on mobile so expect mistakes also reading this back it feels like im bragging sorry boring set up so basically as the title says i live like a healthy normal person i have active ish hobbies of video game collecting photography photoshop video editing ect i have a good job i enjoy most days at a well known swedish furniture company people like me i work hard and managers trust me other coworkers always say im always smiling and seem so happy no matter what im doing i was even called a ray of sunshine by someone in hr im always polite and helpful to the customers and im always willing to help go the extra mileat home i eat right drink water do my hobbies shower and brush my teeth regularly even down to using hand lotion and lip chap so i dont have dry painful hands i sleep regular hours wake up early and eat breakfast then its off to worki treat myself in moderation to things i deserve got a new phone on black friday and some things from amazon have a healthy amount of money in my bank account and other comforts around the house nice bed computer camera ecthowever i genuinely hate myself i want to kill myself every dayeven when im having fun the thought is there  i feel like such a failure and i have done since elementary schooli cannot make friends and by that i mean i dont feel anything to other people i feel so disconnected from myself im even struggling to find the words to say how deep and trapped i feel im a mental messit feels like im two different people the public side is outgoing and willing to do anything can make people laughlaugh myself and is constantly happy and hard workingthe side when im alone with my thoughts is a horrible overwhelmed puddle of stress its not like i even stress about anything i couldnt care less about a mistake i may have made every one makes them i dont think about rude customers in fact i remember the fun customers more than the bad ones i dont worry about things other people worry aboutthings like getting stuff repaired damaged expensive items jokes that didnt land properly and made things awkward ect im constantly looking for ways to improve taking on what people suggest every part of me is normal i act like a person who has never experienced depression even in my private meltdowns im still acting out healthy habits no matter what im doing im planning my way out and its pretty far along im desensitized to the idea of suicide i just need to go through with iti still wake up every day never struggling to get out of bed i treat people with care yet every part of me is screaming in pain i think about jumping off into the freezing river every time i go to and from work all in all i think what im trying to say is it doesnt feel like im in control i am trapped in this outwardly healthy body that is doing every thing right while i sit inside feeling so disgustingly horrible that i cant possibly explainanyway this wont be up long im going to regret posting this an probably deleted this in the morning but right now i dont give a fuck all i want right now is to die but it wont happentldr me bitching about how good i have it yet im being ungrateful by feeling like shit ,3.0
29239,watched max payne more like max lame  fb,2.0
29240,i feel like im a burden to everyone recently i only just admitted to myself that i was mentally unwell again and decided that i was going to see a psychologist for a second time because i havent gotten around to actually going out and getting a new i tend to off load my emotional baggage and rant a lot to the people i love the most i know that i carry a lot of emotional baggage and i tend to find myself ranting a lot to my boyfriend and very limited amount of friends usually theyre always around to talk to me through my rants but recently ive been realising that my friends never reply to my messages when i ask for someone to talk to or they reply days later as for my boyfriend ive noticed that he always tries to redirect my rants into something else and avoiding the conversation of me being unwell i dont expect people to always be there for me because my rants can be emotionally exhausting and confronting and i always feel awful ranting to someone every week but i cant help but feel that im burdening everyone around me with my constant rants which usually include things that are a repeated topic every single rant and i feel as if im starting to annoy everyone with my constant and repetitive rants as well as my ever changing moods i dont really know if i should stop going to my friends and boyfriend for someone to talk to and instead try and get a new psychologist ,3.0
29241,i want to die i dont even know what to say i sitting here crying my eyes out i hate my life i hate everything thats happened to me lately i went from having so much happiness and hope for the future to the depths of despair everything has fallen apart for me i hate myself i hate this person ive become in the last few months i feel like im going crazy i go from being sad to angry in the same day i want to die im so lonely the only person i had is gone now,3.0
29242,goody the sun is outshame i will be stuck in all day ,2.0
29243,need a mac pigments supplier blah no more golden olive ,2.0
29244,says madawat untahh ko sa busay  ,2.0
29245,im an uncle now ,0.0
29246,i didnt get paid this week  roll on tuesday ,0.0
29247,okay time to do the chores i guess ,2.0
29248,watchin the mtv movie awards ,0.0
29249,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
29250,some advice would be appreciated a couple years ago my sister got hit by a car and died in college she was bullied in middle school and things were finally getting better and then she got killed just crossing the street i really cant help thinking it should have been me in middle school i had friends i bullied people not intentionally but still i lead to other peoples sadness why was it her not me i actually deserved it in some ways she was just getting started in her real life only one year until she graduated college she had made it if anyone deserved to get hit by a car it was me i dont know how i can live in a world where i get off free with everything ive done to people and someone whos only ever been hurt in life dies for no reason other than crossing the street at the wrong time im sorry if this comes off as rambling i really dont know what too say any advice or help would be greatly appreciated thanks,3.0
29251,shanegrayyy too late me and eiblehs already have haha ,0.0
29252,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
29253,gorgeous day finally spent doing laundry and cleaning most likely ,2.0
29254,i cant go out tonight  saddest ever,2.0
29255,jamesyates did you buy your iphone coz i want one  but im  so i cant afford it p,2.0
29256,has to go to work soon ,2.0
29257,revision mode  or annoying kati more like it  ,0.0
29258,up cause my moo moo got scared of the thunder ,2.0
29259,new pollution has evolved introducing new pollution promotions wwwnewpollutioncouk ,0.0
29260, yea i am ,2.0
29261,i have started using twitter welcome myself to twitter ,0.0
29262,thedannynoriega  i hope you come back to pittsburgh we love you here,2.0
29263,im just feeling a little stuck hello allim a  year at college right now and i feel a little stuck in all honesty  ive found myself working in the dark more often and pretty much only working  i dont have much time or other interests right now  my sister has been working thorugh depression and by that i mean she is activly working to improve herself and has made great strides in the last couple years  i am just wondering if anyone has some advice that could help me exist in this intense work centric culture while mainting my sanity and happinessthanks,3.0
29264,is off to andys to see her beloved boys ,2.0
29265,nothing to look forward to hi everybodyive been dealing with depression for over  years now im  in the beginning i had some theraphy and with the right medication i am able to live my life i wouldnt say i have been feeling really happy though years passed by and i finished my university degree and got a job where i do make a decent amount of money and i dont hate to go to work once a couple of months i feel the grasp of the depression reaching out for me and i have to battle it sometimes im sucessful sometimes it comes through and pulls me into its dark pit for days up until weeks until the medication and maybe my strong will put it back in placei do sports a couple of times a week and try to keep my mind busy with learning new languages and piano but i dont have any friends close in the past i didnt find it hard to find friends in school or university i made friends really quick im introverted so i dont feel like going to places where a lot of people are just for the sake of finding friends i do have friends in other cities some from my time at university some that i know for ages from gaming but even for the gaming friends they have girlfriends getting married working all things that makes it harder to come togetherfor over a week now im battling my depression again its still surpressed but of course i start to think and overthink things again but maybe it tells me what i really lack in my life a purpose something to look forward to like the title says dont get me wrong i dont believe there is a higher purpose in life and thats not what im looking for on regular working days i usually look forward to the next weekend or the next holidays but beyond that in the middle or long term i have nothing to look forward to i just had holidays for two weeks and in the second week i really had no joy any more maybe just because of the depression maybe because i got sick from playing video games all day and watching shows on tv which kinda just fuels that idea that i have nothing to look forward to anymorei havent spoken about that with my psychologist yet because i feel like that isnt something clinical medicine could me even help with i would like to hear your thoughts about that though maybe something can inspire me,3.0
29266,rt depressionnote social anxiety feels like there is a spotlight on you and everyone notices what you are doingthis just isnt true in,0.0
29267,laurasworld i so will now and you better perform it ,0.0
29268,argh cant stop yawning ,2.0
29269,i dont know what im going to do with my life anymore im  years old and have no job depression is making me difficult to find a job i even still live with my parents and i dont know what would happen if they die cause theres literally no one will support me anymore i have no future all my friends are married or at least have a job ive been depressed for about  years and still on medication but i feel nothing i dont know what i want from this life anymore im not suicidal right now but feels like i dont wanna live anymore,3.0
29270,rt iapublichealth summer break means fun for some students but isolation amp depression for others be aware of signals your child m ,2.0
29271,practicecactus you can do it ,0.0
29272,hmm  flags tuesday  i hope that creepy old dude from the commercials aint there,0.0
29273,she told me okay so  minutes ago my crush came out the me that she is depressed this is the girl i care about and ive shown interest in for a few months now and it almost got somewhere and in no way am i trying to use this for me to get closer to her but i didnt know how to react and tomorrow at school i just want to hold her and make sure shes okay and i just dont know what to do i dont know if she wants me to i dont know if she will let me i just dont know its ironic because i have undiagnosed severe depression but shes the one who when i talk to i can just throw it all aside and be myself around and never in a million years would i expect her to be depressed she messaged me through snapchat minutes ago saying that her mum was yelling at her and her having diagnosed depression makes it worse and i just felt so horrible also when she told me she has depression i told her i did too because i do and i told her if she needs me im here for her anytime i was writing my reply and she told me her mum was taking her phone and she gtg and i shouldnt reply but i was still finishing my message by the time she told me not to reply i just dont know what to do i just want her to be okay and it fucking sucksi was thinking of getting her some food and asking her if she wanted to talk about it but if she didnt i would understand being depressed myselfplease help idk what to do idk what to do idk what to do idk what to do idk what to do and it feels so fucking shitty,3.0
29274,rt  this is sad before parents would sit and talk to their kids about the birds and the bees now black parents have to talk,2.0
29275,frecklesrn at least i have a older brother ,0.0
29276,emerickuntz glad you got your stuff  i am sure you will love it  ,0.0
29277,rt swizzywrightt maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too,1.0
29278,goodlaura why were you tweeting abt thermodynamics    i musta missed that one waaay behindas usual,0.0
29279,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
29280,in super pain major cramps ,2.0
29281,time for sleep  gnight tweeples ,0.0
29282,another exam down  more to go ,2.0
29283,sweetpseudonym you wanna do face paint ,0.0
29284, fuckkkk yea im mad jk not at all i know im a pervbut ummm you didnt answer my question earlier when you coming home ,2.0
29285,laneyfitz you are the wind beneath my wings thank you so much for the fb email to the group amp your nice tweets  xo,0.0
29286,von iva tonight boys and girls  plush  be there,0.0
29287,just got one of my bday presents early  new headphones ,0.0
29288,kikimagine i knew i wasnt alone ,0.0
29289,building a brick wall in a hot yoga studio  nice work if you can get it ,0.0
29290,why do people want me to carry on this torture every day is pain pain in my legs my arms my wrists my chest my stomach and my head my body is deforming slowly my mind is already fragmented i spend my time just trying to distract myself from life living just to forget i am im not proud of my country hell im not even proud of bring human were vile deceitful disgusting shallow things who wilfully ignore anything that doesnt sit right with thembeing a good person is the anomaly why the fuck do i want to live in this society hell you can get allot further in work if you leave your morals at the doortheres so much wrong and i just cant were too fucking stupid so just let me go i want this its what ive wanted for most my life and its just getting worse stop forcing me to live another day,3.0
29291,how bloody small are they now these are not how i remember them ,2.0
29292,is in weekend since two hours now  ,0.0
29293,eating pancakes  what is better than a day off with steviej,0.0
29294,still destroyed from midge bites from dc and kylemore  owwwwww,2.0
29295,guykatsu okay you know whatthe only ones im neutral at worst on are anderson angra sad vlad and george so just imagine the lines,1.0
29296,dennischarlesl hey pastor dennis i just wanted to let you know that i really enjoyed your sermon in the chinese cong today  ,0.0
29297, does that offer stand for me as well ,2.0
29298,anyone care to chat just struggling to find anyone to talk to and lonely,3.0
29299, hey katinka  it will be ouch in couple hours lmao,0.0
29300,orisasson haha  thanks,0.0
29301, sweet sweet lady ciji youre breaking this poor boys heart ,2.0
29302,depression to anger and back to depression again its a little intimidating posting about this but maybe it will helpim  years old and ive been suffering from depression since i was  its been a hard road since that age as ive begun understanding whats happened to me during my younger years and losing my grandmother after my  birthday it seems as though each time my life begins to get better another crisis occurs or another situation unfolds another trauma of physical or emotion assault pops up whenever it feels like it and just last year i was diagnosed with ptsd which of course made my depression worse my wife had been cheating on me lying and stealing thousands of dollars from me for years we are divorcingi dont feel i can trust my family since thats the center of my abuse and i try to talk to friends about it but i just feel i am burdening themi currently drink  of vodka a night just to get to sleep without being overloaded by my own mind  i know this is seemingly random but i cant think of a bettersorted way to put this out here i dont know what else to do im so tired and i just need a break ,3.0
29303,rt afactspost depression is the result of over thinking the mind creates problems that didnt even exist,1.0
29304,duude posing with newborn cats is thrilling ,0.0
29305,i am sick  so tired rawr ,2.0
29306,zydratefairy awww  pats back holds hair back,2.0
29307,seomoz do advanced ranking reports currently not work wanted to show in my deck ,2.0
29308,happy mothers day  feliz dia das m�es  ,0.0
29309,bad morning wondering if things will ever stop getting worse i was supposed to go to a counseling session for the first time in a long time today but i missed the appointment so i thought id try posting herefive years ago i went to the emergency room and told them i was having suicidal thoughts and that i had a plan to go through with it i was  at the time i had no friends a bad relationship with my family no sense of purpose and i thought i had no real future after the emergency room i got hooked up with a counselor and psychiatrist i made some great friends found purpose in religion and i got into a good school that gave me hope for the future i still struggled with depression but never seriously considered suicidemy counselor retired in january of last year and i never got a new one i finally made an appointment with a counselor at my school for this morning but i missed it i stayed in bed too long forgot that there would be a lot of traffic at that time and i was in such a rush that i tripped on some stares and landed head first into some trash cans in front of a lot of people and it caused my ear to start bleeding after all that not only was i too late for my appointment but i wasnt even at the right locationafter that i started to think im really just not cut out to live life ive been doing worse and worse in college and ive recently been failing classes im irresponsible and unproductive in general never doing the things i need to do i lost all faith in my religion a while ago and ive struggled to find a sense of purpose outside of it my relationship with my family remains distant despite my extreme dependence on my parents and my friendships are becoming more distant as my friends are getting ready to finish college and move on with their lives and ive never had anything like a romantic relationship at all i havent been taking good care of my physical health and ive gained a lot of weight over the past couple years overall it seems everything is worse than it was five years agobut i am still thinking of ways to help myself ive been trying new meds with my psychiatrist i have another counseling appointment next week ive been taking some small steps to catch up in my classes ive been trying to do more volunteer work with a service club im a part of and i think i will start going to a work out class ive been applying to part time jobs  more out of necessity to pay for school after failing some classes but i think that might help tooim still worried that i just dont have what it takes and i feel like the past five years are proof of thatnot sure how to end this post im sitting in my car outside my house in the rain i dont really want to anywhere else right now i guess ill just wait for responses and look at other online resources,3.0
29310,petewentz happy wedding day i love you two then repeat it several times ,0.0
29311,this movie kinda sucks ,2.0
29312,rt matthewamiller sad about ron dellums i came to dc to be a house page in  as a conservative kid from west texas and listening to,0.0
29313,first days on bupropion experiences amp opinions hey guys to be short im on  of prozac for about half a year and it worked just fine i also do hardcore therapy that changes my life so everything is okay and gradually improvinghowever i lost my sex drive on prozac and it soon became a problem in relationship and in general not being horny is just plain boring so my psychiatrist prescribed  of bupropion on top of my prozac intake i have gad and ptsd and she warned me i might feel more anxiousfirst two days were oh boy trippy to the point of scary but i eventually got over that part even quicker than i thought i would however for two days after i felt depressed depressed like in that time of my life when nothing was right and i wanted to die depressed i worked so hard and thought i got out of it but past two days were living hell yesterday night i had a break down cried so hard no sound came out today i feel shame ive read a lot about feeling more anxious on bupropion but nothing changed for me in this matter although i have an anxiety issue im even a bit mellower than usually but my mood is just unacceptablehave anyone had the same issue not anxious but old demons got out of their graves will it go away im afraid to keep taking it but  days isnt just enough thank you,3.0
29314,whenever i get into an argument with my parents or grandparents afterwards i feel like i dont deserve to eat or do anything is that normal i havent been diagnosed with depression btwlike rn im real hungry but im not gonna ask for food just dont deserve it for making my familys life hell,3.0
29315,my stupid twitterfox wont work ,2.0
29316,miah its the closest thing we have here to a taco johns which was my favorite texmex place of all time back home  ,2.0
29317,it was rather unfruitful ,2.0
29318,pussyprevails aww dont feel  bad i aint been  vegas ,2.0
29319,rt cynthialphelps i love this creative take on depression this is who i am and im struggling   httpstcot,0.0
29320,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
29321,it feels like a hit a wall with the potential for my happiness i have been depressed for almost over a decade and it seems that nothing i do can get me out of this depressive mode i keep trying to pursue my passion in music and djing but that has not been cheering me up as much as it used to i havent felt the spark of joy in a long time and the only time i can get remotely close to that spark is when im in a relationship with someone being in a relationship also really motivates me but i have decided to stop dating because going through heartbreaks and toxic relationships were making my depression worse and causing major beatdowns to my already low self esteem i find myself constantly trying to fill the void of emptiness that lies inside of me but it seems to do just as good as duct tape and water im trying to go back to school in a few months but i havent been able to get excited about it and im worried that i wont be disciplined enough to get the best experience out of my schooling and fully apply myself to the schoolwork i really want to be happy on my own and i want to build my self esteem and it seems like every time i am with friends i have nothing exciting to update them about hey guys today i just sat at home overslept and wasted my time playing video games is what comes up when they ask how my day has been i keep seeing my peers accomplishing things and moving forward in life while im stuck in this rut giving only about a  effort to anything that i do i got into a nasty habit of partying  years ago that has slowly made me lose myself more and i just recently stopped partying because the heavy drinking and substances i was doing were only causing my problems to worsen in the long run i feel like i often find myself seeking outside approval from others and that i am a chameleon of everyone around me i never got to really know who i am so how can i love myself if i dont know who i am i work at a retail store and at work i feel very drained and dont fully put in the best of my effort i see all of my coworkers talking to eachother getting praised by the managers and getting along i feel very left out at work and putting on a fake smile for customers makes me cringe i know life is short and i really want to make the best of my time rather than passing it it sucks to say that i dont value life as much as i should and i felt very indifferent about a car accident that nearly killed me i get jealous when i see people enjoying themselves on the simple pleasures of life like dancing at bars cheering at shows and watching movies etc im often told that im too smart for my own good and i believe that my awareness of the planet and what people do sort of makes me feel bored in a way depression and heartbreaks are awful but nothing feels worse than being almost literally bored with everything you do i really dislike the holidays because they slap me in the face with you should be more happy its insert holiday here i would give anything to be motivated find myself and be passionate again ,3.0
29322,i am a lazy bastard ,2.0
29323,koogar ive been inspired by the sound of silence all morning but the chap doing my garden has just started using his heavy tools ,2.0
29324,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
29325,trumpetmatt i dont know what youve been told but like anything it is all about what you put into and make of it yourself  welcome,0.0
29326,ok rant over  have a blessed dandy fruitful filled day ,0.0
29327,richardbranson wish they were cheaper flights between adelaide au and chattanooga tn flying there to care my mom who has emphysema ,2.0
29328,getting ready to leave worka little depressedthinking about my grandfatheri miss him ,2.0
29329,mphillipsdesign seriously dude is there any way to get a sneakpeak at the site i could be quotquality assurance guyquot ,0.0
29330,times for lame school ugh xp thank god mondays r quick for me ,0.0
29331,i dont know how much longer i can keep this up why do i have to be so fucking alone why cant i have a group of close friends like everyone else or even just one close friend,3.0
29332,how do you work twitter ,2.0
29333,yeahbro main st pic coming at you today cam dont be a hater  we have a lake,0.0
29334,tweetwithzique get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
29335,kiss this shit goodbye boy u may be hot as fuck but on the inside ur ugly as can be you jus aint good enough foo ,0.0
29336,eviegarland hey sorry i wasnt talkative tonight i hope i wasnt one of the people that made you feel bad ,2.0
29337,my cousin was killed here back in  and they ruled it as a suicide we all know it wasnt,1.0
29338,not coping with former sexual assault im not even sure what or how to write this honestly because my feelings are all over the place even though its been a long time since it happened which i dont want to talk about much im  and unfortunately im pretty lonely and i had feelings for someone and i still do and it sucks because they dont feel the same way i think im a very confused person with low self esteem last year i was pretty lonely and i wanted to get over the person so i started talking to this guy and he invited me to his house he picked me up and drove me there i dont even remember where it was i barely remember anything but i got very drunk somehow and i blacked out and i remember begging them to take me home and then they assaulted me i just feel so worthless i hate myself and i cant focus on anything and school is going so badly for multiple reasons i cant tell my parents i cant tell my friends either i dont want to burden them i dont know what to do my suicidal thoughts drift in and out and i was wondering about some tips to stop that i have a therapist btw,3.0
29339,我�下推了希望大家都繼續快樂而且充滿活力 love and peace   via yannyannyann原來你���了唷晚安,0.0
29340,naceprettub sorry wish you were here ,2.0
29341,dixonst   hey thats my desk not my hands though ,0.0
29342,i tried to get police to shoot me so right now im  and i have no friends because they cut me off so now i spend time doing drugs and drinking by myself one day when i was drunk i felt like shit so i decided to rob a liquor store with a fake gun i stole  and ran the police showed up and put me to the ground instead of getting shot i was arrested for a month and now im on ankle monitor just thought this would be interesting to share or something,3.0
29343,so fucking alone i see all these people happy having fun with their friends and family and i just think must be nice ive been struggling for so long i never speak about how i feel to anyone so idk if this is where i should put this but here i goevery second of everyday i feel like im losing more and more of my soul to the thoughts in my head i wish i could stop using💊 but i cant i just want this pain to go away and never come back but it just makes it worse then i lost my best friendmy dad to alcoholism  almost  months ago and that shit just completely changed me started using harder and harder then my ex who im very much still in love with and fucked up over entered my life and she only talks to me when her new man is slipping up or cheating on her everyone else in my family never wants to be around me everyone acts like they hate me and treats me like im less than dirtthats why me and my mom hate each other i dont think ill ever forget or forgive her for the mental abuse i dont like this world and i dont wanna be here no more nothing for me here but i cant so might as well just take a few more and feel that pain go away i wanna see my dad again im sorry dad im such a disappointment,3.0
29344, tao cng � v bk d� kh�ng y�u nhng vn c�n hn thnghis�nhiu mt t zi  li ht  l�m t�c zi u t�c xu qu�,2.0
29345,taking mother out to breakfast  heading to champaign soon thereafter,0.0
29346,ncbeets its some type of trike someone posted a link but i cant find it check segwaycom to see that its not a segway though ,0.0
29347,all ive been doing is crying ,2.0
29348, hha yeah heres to hope of us both meeting her ,0.0
29349,im so tired ,2.0
29350,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
29351,classy not overstyled but very good  ,0.0
29352,what a great daysun is finally shining and kids are behavinghappiness is mine ,0.0
29353, what are friends for ,0.0
29354,sdttaeyong i literally was about to scream at you had you not ajdkkfdiriejeis but  even though you just gav httpstcobxxdgjnpqq,0.0
29355,the weather in kent is horrible ,2.0
29356,the weekend has ended and now i have to go back to work ,2.0
29357,im really cold and tired but last night was lots of fun and theres no school tomorrow so im happy ,0.0
29358,on jimmy kimmel live people dont forget to watch when he does the bit about jobros concert in london ,0.0
29359,that made my day my week ,0.0
29360,are paydays good for you i mean they have nuts and arent they protein ,0.0
29361,jodifur now were ready to put up with all the packing and moving drama  ,0.0
29362,sooo tired dont wanna go to class ,2.0
29363,today i will talk to you a lot offline because i feel sorry for not feeling you are sad maybe im too selfish jus ,1.0
29364,i just got attacked by a spoon ,2.0
29365,just some sad soul wandering around ,2.0
29366,hello house at the delta i told you wed be back its so nice to see you again ,0.0
29367,davidarchie hope you could ,0.0
29368,bilarenjani yer welcome dear greeting knows ,0.0
29369,need to understand the mental health infrastructure development as well,0.0
29370,i love watching reruns of the oc ,0.0
29371,you guys think its possible for a  year old loser to change his life around i just want to get a good jobcareer get married to a pretty wife raise happy kids and thats that problem is my life is a real trainwreck can somebody actually get it together this late in his life,3.0
29372,jbruin to help ensure you do not do this again i voiunteer to check the severity of it  its not early here lol,0.0
29373,i cant feel any true emotion towards anybody since i remember and that always deppresed me im  years old and i dont remember having any true emotion towards anyone in my entire life i always found it disgusting and made me very sad i tried to ignore it but i wasnt able to i had friends girlfriends good relation with my family but i couldnt perceive anything from them like they didnt exist the only thing that made me have some form of connection was my idealization of them it never came natural i have never felt rejection nor accepteance only security and hostility there is like a void in them a deep nothingness that always frightened me and from which i tried to hide its like a never ending solitude that doesnt go away with no one it even grows bigger when im not alone and makes me wanna vomit the only thing that relieves me is music and my imagination if i attribute an idea an interest it goes away a little bit but i dont want to have such superficial relationships i want to feel something for them i cant and i hate myself for that why does this happen,3.0
29374,juneambrose   lmao  my bad    xoxo,0.0
29375,ikea has teamed up with the man booker prize to create reading rooms in a n london store where shoppers can curl u ,1.0
29376,a mosquito is staying my room now that sucks  cannot sleep,2.0
29377,says my pet society coins from  to    ,2.0
29378,i need a fancy avatar ,2.0
29379,beemvrt that was my first random shiny in moon and it was the first encounter right after the mallow trial and i w ,0.0
29380,a  comp wtf an  player is bigger than that is this my new icomp ugh at least ill have twitter ,0.0
29381,love u taehyung♥️be strong ami are always by your side😢dont be sad it harms your health so much😥i can unde ,1.0
29382,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
29383,no rafa at this years wimbledon  ,2.0
29384,osmentemily  hope you are having a good day today emily im going to hannah montana movie for the  time  ,0.0
29385,chasebellevue  that wasnt nice lol,2.0
29386, nite wit out her     so sad here all alone playin live,2.0
29387,feltmeupdesigns me too i forgot all about that  your tweet looks fab ,0.0
29388,watching tennis on tv  i really want to play ,2.0
29389,ready to teach my  gr girls sunday school class this will be my last time to teach these group of girls they are promoting next week ,2.0
29390,rt biancamtzzz isnt it crazy how someone can see a person doing fine without them but then twist things around and make it seem like a b,1.0
29391,dannykurily omg best show i havent seen that since i was a kid  ,2.0
29392,spongedocks it rained at my house twice this morninggosh maybe the rain will hold off till tomorrow morning ,0.0
29393,staring at an empty inbox for the second time this year unfortunately the emails disappeared without a trace ,2.0
29394,revtrev get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
29395,loneliness alot of people with depression feel extreme lonelinessbut a thought that always comforts me is that so many other people are going through the same feeling everyone on this reddit community its nice to know that youre not completely alone ,3.0
29396,easter show meh got an audrey poster though ,0.0
29397, omg  gutted my media didnt save properly so now i have to do it again ,2.0
29398,had a great time last night with good friends heading to my store early to work on my jewelryeidoscopes httptinyurlcomcwphmb ,0.0
29399,zomg when i woke up i swear that i gonna tell my interesting dream to my bro but now i cant tink of it anymore   i bet its interestin,2.0
29400,darkanimelover sure thing  i have blank cds here  my house amp i dont have anything to do so ill just burn it now ,0.0
29401,fearnecotton could you play sugar by flo rida please  while im revising business  thanks xxxx,0.0
29402,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
29403, pages in my second it course book to go woohoo ,0.0
29404, am im ready  bed but after i turn everything off ill b layin in bed lookin at the ceilin wide awake happens all the time ,2.0
29405,how sad ed mcmahon died    edmcmahon,2.0
29406,michaelbarley but no cigar damn that final norwegian vote ,2.0
29407,who am i suppose to be friends with ive messaged over  people on here and literally no one responds yes a normal person wouldnt do that but i was just testing my theory out just know youre an awesome human you have your boyfriend and family i think if you can speak to them when you feel this alone ive messaged guys before and when they ask for my gender they ghost me right after i even have told them not to ghost me coz what happened to being friends with people like  of the guys on here think they will meet their soulmates on here none want actual friends and it hurts me because who am i supposed to speak to i want friends i want bros i want to use the internet to have a support system but no one wants to give me that i dont know why my dumbass came back on reddit,3.0
29408,rt tripples ill wait 😌🤔 httpstcoatrvrzgzxo,2.0
29409,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
29410,i needa smoke and have no cigarettes why are shops and banks so far away ,2.0
29411,svajen this spider is the brother of the spider out of hp a magazines not gonna cut it haha hell get his family after me ,2.0
29412,debbiefletcher hey debbie  is it true that tom didnt have geography at school,0.0
29413, well at least take a pic or two please ,0.0
29414,rt ovotay toxic people get so mad when you cut them off like bitch im trying to save my mental health😂😭,2.0
29415,furniture design spacesaving wallbeds these are the keywords we are working on today  this is part of our mission  ,0.0
29416,gregaalmond i think im in for tonight  thanks for askin tho im gonna plan on next fri for sure,2.0
29417,omgitsnoelle oooh ill try and make it then i have nothing else to do and i should get my dad something but the shops are closed ,2.0
29418,two rejections unsure about my career social awkwardness i really dont know what to do please help im dark kinda ugly i was very ambitious and had a lot of things in mind when i joined uni but things started to fall the day i entered college i made a mistake started liking a girl got rejected after trying to get somewhere for two years was consoled by another friend got attached to her she started ignoring me too meanwhile my studies got effected severely in order to cope up with the pain i took up a lot of projects and other work i started liking design especially ux design but family is unsupportive im completely clueless about my career its really stressful to work with all this in mind ive had suicidal thoughts but am afraid of the pain i dont want to make my parents go through a lot of pain things are not at all going as i intended staying in uni is getting harder everyday suicide seems like the only option please help i dont know whom to talk to ,3.0
29419,i dont feel good ,2.0
29420,stephaniepratt are you going to laurens book signing tmw u should i wanna see u too ,0.0
29421,this type of thing in crazyaz and the azleg is so typical its not surprising and thats sad from petitions tha httpstcoeskooagvgw,1.0
29422,starletchance  re christian bale and what an attractive man he is  ,0.0
29423,markekebatiste get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
29424,hubby took care of the kids while i took some niquil and called it a nite   time i went to sleep that early since i was  ,0.0
29425,not productive day ,2.0
29426,ronwessmusaq youre welcome ron have a great week and dont get too bored at work  smile ,0.0
29427,my twitter timeline has been dead for the past hour ,2.0
29428,today were making fried rice and chicken musubi    photo ,0.0
29429, ,0.0
29430,raining thursday in brazil and my moms birthay  that woman is a warrior have a great day everyone,0.0
29431,sunny warm beautiful day i wish days like this could last til the snow starts to fly  ,0.0
29432,larzshinobi then ill only have  left for the day ,2.0
29433,wont be watching the pussycat dolls tomorrow  im so sad i wanna cry,2.0
29434,tradinggoddess wallflower was waiting for a dance but tg wasnt looking my way  and the moon is so full tnite  ,2.0
29435,allergies triggering depression i live in texas and have allergies all year the times i dont have allergies my life is at an all time high obviously when allergies are kickin im at an all time low just wondering if anyone else experiences this and maybe ways to cope with it it makes simple everyday things long and miserablelove you all thanks in advanced,3.0
29436,damn it arsenal lost the game yesterday ,2.0
29437,on my way to work  in boynton beach fl ,2.0
29438,dizzycrane so yourself ,0.0
29439,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
29440,dance with somebody ,0.0
29441,another day another dirty diaper ,0.0
29442,awesome day awesome ,0.0
29443,loves being able to drive her car legally ,0.0
29444,goin  wally world   days ,0.0
29445,samstoneauthor congrats  how exciting,0.0
29446,doesnt want to miss the last day of school ,2.0
29447,ksselig i hate when that happens ,2.0
29448,mzmraz i think i want dave matthews band magic brownies but am actually feeling asthmatic so still no ice cream today ,2.0
29449,dog had to get put down today thought i wouldnt cry buh i did can yhu blame me tho had the dog since i was born ,2.0
29450, i knew youd figure it out ,0.0
29451,naina interesting read after all thanks for the link ,0.0
29452,yingoying how far would u want to go for a friend up to u ying ,0.0
29453,shaunking man i have been saying that ever since i  saw that commercial ,0.0
29454,crossroadchiro have a great weekend  holistic medicine is much needed today thanks for providing the care amp for the follow ,0.0
29455,ariellemarie ohh you have no idea how much i miss you i know its because youre working so atleast its a good thing i still miss you ,2.0
29456, and depressed ever since i graduated high school my depression has increased i tried going to a community college but it didnt work out now i am at home without a girlfriend or any meaning social life outside my family and only video games to entertain me now all the time looking for a job but no one wants to hire me ive applied to many placesmade a posting on craigslist i also have autism which i feel has affected my ability to get a job as well as search for an opportunity indepth right at this very moment i am here on the jehovahs witness website thinking of requesting a bible study thing they offer thinking that having religion might help alleviate the pain any advice ,3.0
29457,poor polar bears ,2.0
29458,umm yea twitterbackground you said it worked and it didnt ,2.0
29459,talkin bout your generation  y,0.0
29460,ignoring mental health has a cost extending far beyond bad publicity and unhappy employees ,2.0
29461,tweet tweet   i luv wwwboffercouk,0.0
29462,katheesue as you so aptly stated we are all friends i guess we can share ,0.0
29463,dazzlemethis i hear ya  i feel like finishing mine  actually im gonna finish it ,0.0
29464,persuading teens to tweet is harder than i imagined ,2.0
29465,pillsbury cinnabun place amp bake cookies verdict not that good ,2.0
29466,rt afactspost depression is the result of over thinking the mind creates problems that didnt even exist,1.0
29467, i am ill have to postpone it until the economy does a little recovering unemployment at over  ,2.0
29468,sarahcasonhall happy birthday love miss you hope youre doing well ,0.0
29469,im happy i get to spend time with my preggo best friend she doesnt get out much ,2.0
29470,gcrokzzzzz oh sweet i dont have a car ,2.0
29471,doing less than i have in years and more exhausted than ever im used to being on the go  to  hours a day i thought i was at my breaking point due to being overworked i have been off work for  weeks and am exhausted all day i find little joy in anything and rotate between numb or just so sadi hate this this is such an ugly disease ive had depression on and off since i was  and am now  is the rest of my life really going to be like this anti depressants make it worse my mood stabilizers worked for a while but just arent doing it for me now there has to be a way for me to get better,3.0
29472,melodybell aw really l and yes we should  and hello hah i have my dance recital friday and saturday so ive been so busy i miss you,0.0
29473, ah i miss you guys so much im inviting you all to lunch or breakfast your choice in  weeks let me know what works for you ,0.0
29474,could use some lovely social media love on this post if you like it  httpbitlyzzdyd ,0.0
29475,rt tonistory i quit my job last month to pursue my mealprep business based out of nj full time one rt can help me pay my bills and calm,1.0
29476,edanabeauvais alij humour can be great for mental health but you implied all grad students and i think some wo httpstcopqugtnglsi,0.0
29477,my birthday is near my mother doesnt speak to me and i think i deserve it but my friends support me till the end yeehaw sooo heres the full story after having a huge mental breakdown and suicidal attempts in sep  i decided to drop off my uni and change major but the thing is i dont know where i wanna go and it made me depressed so fuxking much because i never was that interested in anything to pursue it in the future so i was so upset my parents told me that i should have continued my studies if i dont know what i wanna pursue instead of my current major but it was so heartbreaking because i already tried to change my major  times but at the very end i decided not to because of my parents and because i had nowhere to go but on the  time i had been suffocating so much and feeling so lonely that i couldnt bear it anymore so i decided to leave thats why it was so hard for me to listen to my parents saying that i made a wrong choice and i should have stayed even though they first questioned why i decided to pick that particular major and its so unlike me now to the main point my parents suggested to study abroad since i had time and i actually thought about it a lot but the issue was finding the right programme and i didnt know because all comments on my random suggestions were it doesnt suit you or thats a bad choice so in the end i still didnt know what to pick then i got really depressed when i realised that accomodation was quite pricey and i dont want my parents to do so much for me so it became worse everytime i came back home the only talk i had with my parents was have you done something productive today have you applied what about the documents you have to send out even though they werent really against studying in my home country now it felt like they wanted me to study abroad and i was so confused now my home didnt feel like home anymore i wanted to escape run away and so on one time i traveled to uk to see unis myself and look for something that i might enjoy but the only thing i enjoyed is being far from home and when i got back i was still not sure what to do and the second my parents met me at the airport their question was what is my decision and i was tired of it thats the only thing that we spoke about i skipped dinner because i didnt want to speak to them about it because i knew if i said that i was unsure or confused they would call me a lazy indesicive person that wont have a future everytime after that talk i felt so weak so worthless i felt like a burden things got worse when the deadline for the applications has passed of course i didnt submit anything my parents were so disappointed after that i realised my mother didnt speak to me unless she needed something and her tone changed also i felt like an undesirable person a few days ago my grandma called me to tell me that my mother cried every night because of me and my dad had bad health related issues that he ignored because of the cost of treatment also my grandma told me to stop mocking my parents because theyre in pain i was so heartbroken so scared and felt so weak and bad i never wanted to hurt anybody that day i had a really bad mental breakdown i felt so numb and empty i decided to tell my friends about my mental health they were so supportive i told them everything and they were so awesome cheering me up and making me less lonely but now i feel like my birthday will be ruined because my mother doesnt speak to me all she does is making little remarks that obviously tell that she is talking about me and the thing is i dont want to feel alone on my birthday i dont want it to be ruined when almost half a year i was barely surviving my parents are not bad people but i feel we barely understand each other what do you think whats you opinion on the whole situation should i get a therapist btw,3.0
29478,i hate myself so much that ive thought about ending it all but a small voice in my head tells me that theres a chance things might get better i hate living but i also dont want to die incase things get better for me my life sucks and its been that way for a while but a small part of me has hope that it wont always be this way i just hope i figure it out and get myself out of this i hate being feeling this way i wish i knew what to do i wish i had an answer to get out of this im lost and hopeless no hates me more than i do myself,3.0
29479,reagangomez i hate when childish petty feelings come before the welfare of the child ,2.0
29480,shmurphyyx ohhh lol well im determind to either meet jb or hs either wuld be great jb might not be healthy i might die ,0.0
29481,dmbdork thanks  i love you too hehehe,0.0
29482,finally got a present but i doubt hell like it ,2.0
29483,anyone feel like the best years of your life are behind you i turn  next year and i feel so depressed knowing that i didnt accomplish what i wanted in my  dont get me wrong i have some great memories but its hard not feeling like i could have done a lot more maybe its feeling like that part of my life is over i no longer fee the care free feeling of not worrying about anything i feel like everything is so boring as you get older maybe i need to mature i dont care about stupid hobbies or starting a family or any of that shit that comes with getting older i just want to do hood rat shit with my friends without worrying about saving for retirement i feel like this is what the people that peaked in high school must have felt like once high school finished except it didnt happen at once it kind of snuck up on me over the years slowly i started losing friends stopped enjoying doing things i used to enjoy i no longer feel like life is an adventure it feels like im just filling time until its over,3.0
29484,has just came back from dancing sore feet ,2.0
29485,today i finally realized my fiance was planning suicide when we met and now hes not for a lot of you depression doesnt just go away its not just sadness there is no magic trigger and if someone handed you  usd youd only be great for a while before you felt bad again and didnt understand why and felt hopeless that you could possibly feel this way despite having such good things i understand those of you who could relate i spent most of my life suffering with depressionso the man i met he didnt have a ged i didnt even realize he was suffering from depression and severe anxiety until we met in person and he had an anxiety attack that caught me off guard i just pet him and got him water and then wrapped him up in a blanket and hugged him if you feel really bad reading that because youre currently alone and that hurts like hell this is the reason im postingif you cant do it for you live for the person you havent met yet her or him or they it blows my mind to think i might not have this man with me he easily could have done it we never would have met and that fucks me up to think about i cant have a life without him its not the same colors as they were before that would be the worst punishment to not have this personhe didnt think much of himself he hadnt met me and it wasnt love itself that changed it all it was having someone to really listen to him and coax him to get help the info relating to this concept is summarized here you cant have the chance of meeting them if you dont give it enough time youll die anyway one way or another so why not move the goal post and try to hold out for that special partner a special friend a future adopted child when you are stableit was several months before i had to give him the ultimatum to get educatedlicense or im moving on he told me hes start therapy for the first time and to just give him more time i did he worked at his own pace it took longer than i thought it would i waited and was open if he wanted to talk but didnt force him little by little the attacks came less often his depression of course never went away completely but hed learned tools to manage it and now present day hes in uni learning to become an asl teacher and radiates warmth a beacon of light and head highi know i really know it seems hopeless i know you feel like your chances are slim to none the odds are against you no one gives a shit the people who should dont they might even be deliberately neglecting or hurting you and its the worst thing imaginable pain to the bone i know but if you can move the goal post just a little bit farther and find something outside of yourself to strive for it really isnt the end theres more give it more chances,3.0
29486,just read  amazing blog so tired  dont want to go to school tomorrow either hmmph ,2.0
29487,going to pick up senter soon then wakeboarding then unpacking the trailer  boo,2.0
29488, but did i tell anyone nooooo bc i was being stupid soooooo we get to the top and he goes first and then its my t ,1.0
29489,ecrouge  wow you  have me beat on the travel but i too am pooped looking forward to my own wonderful mattress ,0.0
29490,hahahhaa ed sound like pauline hanson sad go shaun ,0.0
29491,the temperature is  or  depending on your units thatis just too hot for me ,2.0
29492,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
29493,why does my housemate think its a good idea to mop the kitchen floor at lunchtime im starving dammit and cant get to the kitchen ,2.0
29494,revising ,2.0
29495,first counseling session tomorrow any tipshow should i approach it hey guys im going to my first counseling session with my colleges counseling center tomorrow i had to make this appointment because if i didnt try to get help soon i would most likely fail this semester but im pretty nervous and kind of embarrassed ive had issues with anxiety self esteem and depression for a while but ive never thought i had good enough reasons to have these issues so talking to a counselor about it is why i said i was embarrassed  ive been sleeping in late pretty much everyday with little to no motivation to do anything and its just added to my anxiety in the long run i want to try to take this seriously and try to get better and i was just wondering if anyone else has a similar experience of not knowing how to go about this and could help me out thank you so much and i hope youre all doing great,3.0
29496, mmm i love those rolls but i think tesco fell out with mortons cos we no longer sell them ,2.0
29497, they are so cute  too bad hopefully by then ill be nannying someplace and wont be able to have one ,2.0
29498, you me and everyone should party before i leave for europe ,0.0
29499, shia i miss even stevens   ,2.0
29500,this gets better not in a good way its so sad friedlander said these people really have no actual idea wha ,1.0
29501,my cousin wont let me use the computer ,2.0
29502,im cleaning my kitchen i made a decision monday that i would start no matter how small the progress i made was i was atleast going to start cleaning my kitchen i didnt think i would get far because it seemed like i had so many dishes to do but i only filled my sink up three times i only had to clear my drying rack once and everything else fits on my rack except for a big pan and big bowl you know i had ramen and it was fantastic i thought there was too much junk on my counter to even begin cleaning because no mater what i wouldnt make a dent but it only took me all in all about  minutes to get all of the clutter cleared off my counters and the odds and ends back where they should be i looked up just now in the middle of cleaning my kitchen and dare i say enjoying it and its almost fucking done just the finishing touches and it feels so good just start i never want to but it takes a split second to just get in motion i had that fleeting motivating thought we all had and usually i find a reason to fight it but tonight i didnt and ive done most of the work i listed here tonight i know its late but if youre thinking of being at least a tiny bit productive just start and youre not gunna regret it i still have some big things to do like dishes i let sit too long and i had an ant trap spill that ive let it sit for honestly i dont know how long but it got hard on my floor so ive got to find a way to tackle that and a lot of other things i dont wanna list haha but i started and i havent started in a long fucking time i hope you do too,3.0
29503,i want cakee im singing paranoid throughout my housepeople are annoyed nowstandup comedy is amazing like kanye west ,0.0
29504,i wish i had someone i just want someone i can confide in someone i can hug and hold hands with im so alone ,3.0
29505,bro i thought skipping school was supposed to be exciting i just feel sad and guilty,1.0
29506,ok yall  im leavin twitter  most of the niteuntil   haha getting ready  my partyy love u guys,0.0
29507,aerosolfiends lucky you i would die for a vicodin wisdom tooth is growing in ,2.0
29508,sittin in classstill recovering from all of ccs tweets last nite ,0.0
29509,who says cold calling doesnt work with the right approach its a fantastic way to set up business ,0.0
29510,annapaz naw  we missed on accounta bein in vegas p but we were there in spirit ,2.0
29511,relocation depression need advice so this is going to sound ridiculous ive recently moved an hour outside of my dream city and ive been here for almost a week and im regretting ithomesick im a thousand miles away from home and im really missing it i miss my friends ill miss my parents when they head back tomorrow and im thinking of going back and rethinking things something about this just doesnt feel right but im scared of leaving and missing out on a good opportunity that might not come up again right now i just feel like the most important thing to me is being close to my family and while im up here with relatives its obviously not the same as it would be with my parents and im getting to the point where i would like to have a family some day i would like to be closer to them when that happens as i didnt have that growing up and im fairly certain my folks arent coming up here really im just looking for advice or something someone can tell me what i should do i want to stay but it doesnt feel right im trying to not let my anxiety get the best of me cause i am worried that the second i get back home ill regret it all,3.0
29512,viceuk even mine ,2.0
29513,still dying i am very very ill ,2.0
29514,i am going to sleep cause my stupid sister got me sick ,2.0
29515,just leavin my romey romeand him can walk and saywave byebye  awwwwwww super sexy,2.0
29516,last day of school for seniors   depressing my best friends are leaving me,2.0
29517,stfu im done with you kids goodnight to an amazing day ,0.0
29518,kicksavetwenty listened  the game on xm laptop is in critical condition no cable yeahjust moved here and no cable yet  hockey,2.0
29519,rt lilireinhart having alone time is valuable for when you decide to scroll through sad reddit posts and cry on the couch while also bing,1.0
29520,yall mind if i social anxiety tf out,2.0
29521,following the most beautiful girl out there ,0.0
29522,rt shyne i aint going out sad,2.0
29523,iiheartshana cuz ima only b with u for  days ,2.0
29524,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
29525,listening bbgoodjonasbrothers quoti wanna kiss uuuuuquot xd lovee jonasbrothers  ,0.0
29526,i constantly think about running away i cant stand the thought of being alive but i also cant stand the thought of putting my family through my suicide i keep thinking about selling all my crap emptying my bank account and just leavego wherever i feel like try and find something worth living for as of right now i dont see one other than the guilt of upsetting my familyid probably end up homeless soon enough i dont have that much cash maybe enough to last a month or so then id be fucked honestly i dont really care if i did end up homeless i simply dont care about anythingi cant be the only one who feels this wayim just so tired of living my current life ,3.0
29527,i wish i was enjoy this beautiful weather in ny  but im working i hope to make up for it later,2.0
29528,  the tower of stefan cel mare from my city  just love it,0.0
29529,thepioneerwoman  oh man you have me drooling  got room for two more  we just live in the next ville over ,0.0
29530,im chill as a cucumber ,0.0
29531,any one relate wanna chat you guys ever fucking lose something so integral to you life that you dont want to live with out it  fuck it like i dont usually post on this stuff but fuck it  if anyone has ever had their life flipped upside down give me a reply  love you all  ,3.0
29532,okay good night or i will complain all night and annoy everyone  hopefully the rain will return and destroy the electronics i wish ,2.0
29533,rt laneyrodg when they can make u laugh validate you and care about your mental health httpstcohmqakqixeg,1.0
29534, ha yes sowwy ,2.0
29535,zinkr for me it was sausage and egg sandwich thanks to kgriffiths i enjoyed it twice ,2.0
29536,could this day take any longer stuck in small business management ,2.0
29537,blackberry troubles all over fortunately enough i dont have one my htc touch works fine for almost  years ,0.0
29538,do i have to morn hey im  and on april  of last year my mother passed i myself held her vary dear to me i am wondering if it is okay to not tell people she has passed and i know that sounds weird but i dont mean lying that shes still alive you know those memes and jokes about when your mom drives by mcdonalds and wont stop because you have food at home its like that when someone talks about their mother and about the stuff they do together it makes me so happy but when they learn i lost my mother they stop bringing stuff like that up and i miss it is it wrong for me to not tell them she isnt here even though i can still relevant to those things,3.0
29539,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
29540, i dont have the windows xp cd  they never gave us it,0.0
29541,eeshkapeesh haha i dont even know but like i said im planning on applying for another job ill tell you about that later ,0.0
29542,goodbye common people  i will dance like a knob everywhere in your memory,2.0
29543,marysolm i am  not even a nap helped,2.0
29544,is  work ,2.0
29545,iamjonathancook lol i think im gonna do that too ,0.0
29546,joelyrighteous   hope everything turns out ok,2.0
29547,jnye of course you are on my mind always ,0.0
29548,mtojek i was just curious because its fathers day weekendbut i work friday saturday and sunday ,2.0
29549,erenmckay i love you   i just cleaned out a whole bunch of marketers  oh man,0.0
29550,coffeebistro yep you are getting the hang of twitter  i am coming over shortly as promised,0.0
29551,and of course the iphone  tethering trick doesnt work with  gen phones  i hope my copy of netshare still works,2.0
29552,leelinau i havent watched the  one yet probably because of just that  is tonites or last weeks about wounded knee,2.0
29553,i feel rather cheery despite being stuck indoors all day revising ,0.0
29554, nice hairstyle ,0.0
29555,rock on  the quickn the dead leo reminds me of river in this one  kewli way to round out the night,0.0
29556,shutting down again mani posted a few weeks ago about getting a job fuckin lost it already i made it the first two days then on the morning of the third day i drove to walmart instead and parked i sat there all day in silence paralyzed with fear ive been doing that every day this week including today my fiance has no idea because im a piece of shit and cant tell her the truth because of how ashamed and embarrassed i am i just cant explain this how all of a sudden im crippled by this anxiety and fear after being on the upswing for weeks losing my job would have been recoverable if i had just been honest and im afraid that this is it for my relationship i wouldnt blame her if she told me to pack a bag and gtfo my parents moved away a few months ago and ive pushed any friends i had away a long time ago i know most of the sad shit that happened in my life so far is my resonsibilty but im terrified to deal with this and had to get it off my chest thanks,3.0
29557,im feeling really awful and want to call out sick to work tomorrow i really need the hours but my depression and anxiety is hitting me hard right now i dont know what to do,3.0
29558,mariahcarey its okay spell never works properly  ,0.0
29559,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
29560,scrubs is on all day ,0.0
29561,my phone is broken  maybe having it in my bra while dancing was a bad idea,2.0
29562,jringispil nemam ja zucnu kesu to sam u novembru operisala imam kamencice u zucnom kanalu to treba sad da mi izvade 😊,2.0
29563,im so stressed out too much homework ,2.0
29564,today really isnt a good day ,2.0
29565,seeing shit like this makes me happysad i chose a life of crime,1.0
29566,whatsnext  i am glad that dominos took action against those guys  still ultra gross but i guess i could give them another try ,0.0
29567,rt kittendiminie he even munches cutely i am so sad httpstcokxcqrzltlc,1.0
29568, nbcnews trump hasnt visited the troops yet its terribly sad obama and biden really do care for o ,1.0
29569,feeling a little better then yesterday my jaw is still killing meeee ,2.0
29570,trashlee i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
29571,generalpain ,2.0
29572,thank god the one and only taylor kennedy is back we have missed you ,0.0
29573,just got great advice for something i was nervous about  this universe knows nothing but perfect timing ,0.0
29574,so much to do and nobody to do it withsigh  austilicious,2.0
29575,receptional cant dm you have a searchcowboys question for you ,0.0
29576,showed me what i couldnt find when two different worlds collide ddlovato what friends are supposed to be ,2.0
29577,ur crazy anyone that eats like you has to be insane haha   lonelyandroid ,2.0
29578,jimcobber its teachiing kids responsibility to pitch in ey grow up and know how to survive good thing to do ,0.0
29579,im a  years old asian woman and did not complete high school i feel really stuck and i dont know what im supposed to do next i really want to have a higher education and a future but due to the virus outbreak recently i feel like i cant leave my house to pursue my dream i really want to study abroad but im scared of racism and xenophobic violences ive spent  months in germany last year but my professor kept trying to hit on me and i got harassed so i left and came home now it feels like im starting all over again and it makes me really depressed and angry at myself and my decisions including my parents decisions ive turned extremely depressed anxious violent and eccentric that i dont even recognise myself anymore,3.0
29580,i just cried for an hour straight and god damn does it feel good to have some sort of emotion in me after  months of feeling empty,3.0
29581,i think im depressed but im too scared to talk about it with anyone other then my best friend i get suicidal thoughts often and they keep me up at night im  yo and am trans the only other person ive talked with this about is my best friend  im too scared to talk to anyone else about it and ive heard bad things about the hotline what should i do next help,3.0
29582,jingothefool katmars yay for kat having a busy night lol boo for her and jingo not working together ,2.0
29583,dougiemcfly  soo do i   had it for like  weeks  well since i met tom at radio   xxx,0.0
29584,lilyroseallen why ever not lily lol have fun whatever youre up to ,0.0
29585,i just dont see the point in life anymore ive been suffering for years and have been trying  for years to keep myself happy im in the typical life of an adult where i have a job with really nice colleagues a girlfriend that i love a nice place to live but i just cannot help but seek to find any happiness at all my job becomes a boring routine that i no longer enjoy i crave my girlfriends company  and when shes not with me all of my bad thoughts come up i try to play any game and when i lose i get so shitty with myself thinking im not good at anything to a point where ive smashed £ worth of controllers and all i can do is really blame it on myself my mum died of cancer when i was young and i never really showed my appreciation to her everyone bullied me in school and college for my autism depression and anxiety last year i tried everything to keep myself happy whether that was getting better at my hobbies getting a new job that would ease my stress decorating my place to make it feel more homely but im still here every night thinking what the fuck is the point of trying with anything when all i want to do is drink my life away and end this endless life of feeling guilt towards my friends that i no longer see or the guilt towards my family that i should have been there for i know a lot of people will care if i died but i just dont see my life getting any better at all,3.0
29586,jane me too i havent meet him yet  i have my daughter amanda here on twitter now smiles or mine and jakes,2.0
29587,pulptone out of the well grey the chaoscub fortunately didnt stir ,0.0
29588,day w halle today  make the phone jinglee  ,0.0
29589,mrbigdreams no im at work  but they been playin pretty much all the same episodes during the day its so funny how they all used to look,2.0
29590,i feel so bad seeing other people happy ive been sitting  at a lounge at my college right now watching a college kids group today do their things i see them have fun and they look so genuinely happy i started to feel so bad about myself just what the fuck have i done wrong and i cant be like them ,3.0
29591,i want to go see wolverine tonight xlarkins should take me since i brought him breakfest yesterday  return the favor,0.0
29592,keshxii i cant stress it enough lol 🔥🔥🔥,2.0
29593,had a nice evening  ,0.0
29594,off sick today im never ill   i have to be better tomorrow going to see the script  shepherds bush empire,2.0
29595,home from sydney amp i miss it already ,2.0
29596,nataniabarron and thanks ,0.0
29597,what did i just do 😩 fckn anxiety man,1.0
29598,scottearle i have both the hk and true models the true can autologin to wifi turns out wifi is good but not as great as i thought ,2.0
29599,hand hurtin like a beeyatch shoulder aching like a broken  when will it stop stoopid ulnar nerve dmg  dissertation ,2.0
29600,akibunn i have it with everyonelike everyone just wants to hurt mei hate itthats the main and real cause of my depression i think,1.0
29601,im one of joo hyuk fans here in philippines and i was so dissapointed to see this  i feel sorry  i want to say ,1.0
29602,almost lunch time  then writing letters meeting at  then home ,0.0
29603,chrissieroyal i am not going  my colleague is going lucky mare ,2.0
29604,livethchrmdlife thanks i know this scating place by movies fred astaire and ginger rogers used to dance and flirt there ,0.0
29605,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
29606,my imac is in transit from reno nv ,0.0
29607,im so close to doing it throwaway for multiple reasons not a single friend in the last  years i want to die i have everything ready but im so scared of death and what will happen with my family i dont know what to do ,3.0
29608,jonathanrknight maybe a better option for you would be benadryl if you dont need the tylenol part its super bad for your liver ,2.0
29609,listening to before the storm by the jonas brothers feat miley cyrus my favorite song  i wish they could get back together,0.0
29610,fear of going insane hey do you also have this fear that you will completely lose yourself and go insane i have it right now and im really anxious like im checking myself every minute to make sure i am still all there,3.0
29611,jwegesin yayayay sounds like fun ,0.0
29612,thisisgoodbye shun as in oguriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ,0.0
29613,sad sad sad ,2.0
29614,i stay in bed until i go to work for  hours then i come home after eating and then lay back in bed and scroll im going through a bad one right now i think its hormonal   sometimes my body just needs to be super sad i guess its exhausting,3.0
29615, yeah thats what i meant  look im ok though thanks  you ,0.0
29616,is wishing she was at home to give her dad a huge hug for fathers day ,2.0
29617,rt charitysane anxiety can be misunderstood by so many people have you experienced this source pinterest httpstcougeszhdgzk,1.0
29618,doing qa on next release of swb  ah the life of an struggling entrepreneur  i want to go outside and play ,2.0
29619,rt masturbatelog masturbating didnt help the anxiety,1.0
29620,rebecaggro welcome back and the number of followers is not that important its the people you follow ,0.0
29621,baileymichelle its a wb movie ive seen the score ,0.0
29622,shackpank pens what are they well done on finishing uni all done now just wait for the grade ,0.0
29623,is off to go take a shower  httpplurkcompvghml,0.0
29624,just not enough im a great friendim a wonderful womanof coarse im fuck worthybut love affection and being loved wanted and kept around after sex is a no  no relationship no tittle no contact on valentines day every time every year no matter what how long or who ive been hanging aroundcant say that you give up thats just not allowed,3.0
29625,no motivationenergy due to coronavirus all of the events regarding coronavirus has completely freaked me out i have bad health anxiety and i feel like this is going to collapse society i have a hard time feeling motivated to do daily tasks because i cant shake the feeling that the world is ending i find myself constantly tired since this news started how do i manage this,3.0
29626,upgraded i love elite status on airplanes  alabama here we come have a good day everyone,0.0
29627,i think this is goodbye  am cant sleep  havent been able to sleep the past couple of days  tired drunk a lot  really tired i tried  i tired so fucking hard but i cant do it anymore  medicine doesnt help im so godamn lonely and im tired  nothing has helped and i think ive delt with it longer than i needed to ive been trying but i dont want to anymore  this subrrddits not great but it has occasionally helped  thanks to those people  really dont wanna deal with this anymore writing here so i can leave with the idea that someone knew  you cant help me anymore,3.0
29628,so heartbroken the person i loved for many years admitted they dont feel the same way and never did im currently talking to someone new but getting the news took my will to live it kills me i hope this new person becomes someone significant but i have a feeling i will end up caring more than him it sucks its just more problems after another i have a hard time finding hope sometimes i feel like im better off not hoping cuz its less painful i wish i can have an intimate relationship im nearing  and still dont know what its like i can probably hold out hope a little longer but im getting tired im so heartbroken some days i want to die i just dream about him i know it will never happen i die over and over again why does life have such barriers im so hurt i feel my new date is losing interest already i have bad social skills it just gets worse,3.0
29629,birdwisperer ummm i dont see anything ,2.0
29630,up in the middle of the night again  gonna try for sleep,2.0
29631,ashleytisdale i love the vid u posted it looked like so much fun xxx ,0.0
29632,where are all the good guys at ahh well had fun with devon today im so glad i got to spend time with him bc he works all the time ,2.0
29633,officialsjfox hmmmmmmm ,0.0
29634,what is my future with depression im  and im asking about what my future will be like with my depression after i move out can any older people tell me about living on my own with depression,3.0
29635,textmator thx for promoting ,0.0
29636,so sad about the air france flight that went missing ,2.0
29637,uggh my tummy hurts ,2.0
29638,petewentz tweet jizzersforlife  were fbr fans were jizztastic and were trying to make it onto the tt help us out thanks,0.0
29639,birdsall thanks for the kind words ,0.0
29640,workmoneybookshappy me  even though i dont always enjoy it work really does make me happy ,0.0
29641,is doomed to spend her life disappointed because real life can never be as good as you can imagine it will be    ,2.0
29642,stuck in trffic on rt  north of reading pa need hovercraft ,2.0
29643,pheenx i will try but no promises ,2.0
29644,kimmiewong ish never invite me to come along ,2.0
29645,rt   depression myths we need to stop believing  ,1.0
29646, ha ha at your tweet lol errbody read his tweet lmao ,0.0
29647,oh boy here we go never thought id ever post something here not for a long while its a long and winding story so ill simplify how i got where i am now mind you that i am  just about  at the time of posting thisi moved end of  grade and that made me sad i wasnt really depressed about it then i missed home and all and my friends i had completely stopped talking me my parents stopped being home as much and stopped talking to me i got that they were busy the thing that really made me mad was that i was sleeping on a concrete floor in the basement and they refused to buy me a bed it was cold hard and constantly killed my back when u said something about it i got the whole im in more pain than you are so yours is invalid get over it attitude it only go worse over the years and i distanced myself from my parents i eventually got a girlfriend and that kind of helped with my self esteem depression anxiety all of it until i found out something turns out she wasnt just cheating on me but fucking some other dude while weve barely even hung out or gone on dates shortly after that my mom sat me down and told me i was a shitty son because i never spent time with them and talked to them when they always yelled at me for no reason they were never home nor wanted to spent time with me they never cared what i had to say because their tv shows were more important ever since that ive been breaking down just about every day and been contemplating suicide a hell of a lot more than usual i dont have any friends my parents dont care about me i dont know what to do really i just feel like curling up and dying a slow lonley death what am i supposed to do now,3.0
29648,rt hoecry ur wcw sleeps for  hours at night and still takes a fat depression nap when she gets home its me im ur wcw,2.0
29649, of course  we suck but we have lots of fun  ill have to think about dollar beer night ,0.0
29650,brightestttt by the way i really wanna learn some cantonese i wanna be able to talk to my friend in it  and freak people in public out,0.0
29651,darthrami total eclipse started playing at cvs while i was just there and i found myself singing the literal version under my breath ,0.0
29652,me n cindie just followed a police car through the krispy kereme drive through  tehe,0.0
29653,gsboyz im gonna be a jv cheerleader nexxt year  did you want to buy ad space in our football book to promote your album,0.0
29654,is super tiredlong day so i am about to go tobed goodnight tweeties ,0.0
29655,mileycyrus is this the last season of hannah montana  i just saw it on the soup and was curious,2.0
29656,work all day ,2.0
29657,is already home i feel  sick ahuhu   hassle ang rainangrylol ,2.0
29658,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
29659,i expected so much today ,2.0
29660,casscalogeraxxx hey it says your blog can only be read my you dear but im interested ,2.0
29661,half day then nyc ,0.0
29662,that was nice soup ,0.0
29663,i love these summer nights when i can stay up really late watching sad movies and think about life stuff,1.0
29664, mortal kombat movie is awesome just wish it had more blood and gore ,0.0
29665,i hate days that i leave my phone at home  ,2.0
29666,dismaltruce ur just a sad because im beating u,1.0
29667,is struggling wiv the final  mins of work looking forward to a nap  on the train ,0.0
29668,  what a sista getting into today just had breakfast already thinking about lunch im vegan but imma still prolly be fat one day ,0.0
29669,watching gamespots top games of   ,0.0
29670,vickfletch but i cant wait ,2.0
29671,i am so sad and helpless going ✈️ cry,2.0
29672,thesupergirl heard of it also i been wanting to ask ya how long youv been doing yoga thats some thing i been wanting to do ,0.0
29673,so am i going to have to buy an xbox in order to play the beatles rock band game ,2.0
29674,quick poll  what is the most summery song of all time inspired by eels mr es beautiful blues playing on kerrang radio now ,0.0
29675,blanket magazine portrait issue ready  httpblanketmagazinecom,0.0
29676,mattmorimoto because i am in chicago where it has rained for past  hours and not gonna stop til tuesday ,2.0
29677,i dont want to break his heart i started to go to therapy a couple of months ago but i dont feel like im getting better im not taking any medicine and im actually scared of it since a lot of people claim to feel absolutely nothing or even worse after taking itsome of my days are ok but most of the time i just stay home not having the energy or will to do anything and when i go out i feel angry and sad at people i hate my neighborhood i hate my city and i hate my universityi only have two good friends but i havent seen them a lot lately and i dont tell them how i feel my family kinda knows about this and it was my dads idea to start therapy but i still feel like theyre just annoyed by the fact that i dont have dinner with them i dont want to get out of my room or i dont talk to themi have a boyfriend i met him while i was studying abroad in  we live very far away from each other but our relationship is great i love him very much and he loves me too ive told him how i feel ive told him that i dont feel like im good enough for him that im always angry andor sad and im scared of being that way forever and ive told him that i dont want to live anymore hes always sweet and tells me that im a great person and he wants to spend his life with mesometimes i feel like he is the only person i care about and the only one who cares about me but even with this beautiful relationship and the plans weve made together i just feel like i cant go on and it breaks my heart to know i could let him downsometimes i wish nobody knew me so i could just die knowing im not breaking other peoples hearts,3.0
29678,what would u do for a kodakis that right bar ,0.0
29679,chaserandkevin haha you like it i told you you would ,0.0
29680,no one talks to me anymore ,2.0
29681,trying to get the courage to do the skycoaster help me out twitterverse  in virginia beach va ,0.0
29682,not enjoying using tweetie ,2.0
29683,the ham sandwich review returns but sweetheads remains mia im so confused ,2.0
29684,  tillys not well  not eaten for about a weekshe needs to see a doggie doctor ,2.0
29685,fucking grounded i hate my aunts ,2.0
29686,sadly this is me  😶 ,2.0
29687,is in segarra with so many friends here waiting for awarding ceremony ,0.0
29688,cleaning ampamp lovin it txt it ,0.0
29689,respectmileyc thanks so much i followed your joeyking site as well ,0.0
29690,virginamerica that was lame  virginamerica  required password for private room    ,2.0
29691,aww one of the girls died in the movie ,2.0
29692,marykatherineq i know i heard it this afternoon and wondered the same thing moscow is so behind the times ,2.0
29693,moonfrye happy mothers day ,0.0
29694,im a child im deppressed ok so i know this is kind of sudden but i developed depression a year ago but it only made me suicidal  months ago i was diagnosed with autism and i take a lot of antidepressants or whatever that iswhen i was  i experienced trauma and developed some very bad anger issues so when i get stressed i go into an angry mode and get super strong and i hurt people a lotand thats where my depression comes in i started to fell rlly bad about it and then started thinking about suicide i might even do it tonight if i can just letting you know i am not a troll i go tobulline heights in victoria if you want proofmy name is liam and im ,3.0
29695,dezrosas i hope soon but who knows ,2.0
29696,happy mothers day  im at the beach with my family its a warm clear night with a beautiful full moon,0.0
29697,everything is pointless i have been suffering from depression for the last  years or so maybe more i feel like everything is getting worse no matter how hard i try i dont have a cause  or one that i can pinpoint for my depression my counsellor has said that i am not a high enough risk for them to deal with me even though every time i saw them i told them that i wanted to end my own life i dont think they listened to me at all however my doctor is trying her best to help me but i feel like it is all too late i really do feel like im at the end i dont really know the what i want to get out of this post but i feel like i needed to share it ,3.0
29698,bhavika looks like u found all the beer ,0.0
29699,kaoskube yeah no still dont know where that spare is gt also i just turned down some smoke bc i might head home ,2.0
29700, came early today thank god for coffee ,0.0
29701,you know the problem with crackedcom every awesome list you read links to three more awesome lists to read stupid infinite loop ,2.0
29702,zwinkynewstime yesh i should thanks btw ,0.0
29703,dizz  no wont be manning a stand just floating about same as yourself arrived today and will be about till wed should bump into you ,0.0
29704,death theft disappointment loneliness  is pulling a flex on me sooill try keeping it shortmy dad died a month ago after i was the only one taking care for him while he was having depression no teeth smoking a tobacco pipe all day and only moved outside the house to buy food for the cat and vodka for himself  he was a great person life just didnt treat him the way he wouldve deserved and he gave up on himself i dont think i couldve ever helped him even though i tried so hard since i was alone and almost still only a child then my mother came to help us which after she stayed a month made me finally come to terms with that my mother is a narcissistic bch who wanted to come so she could tell me and my sister how she thinks we should behave and live our lives and most importantly could take care of her since she was grieving the loss of her exhusband the one she didnt talk to for many many years and didnt care shit about when i told her already years ago repeatedly that he is not doing so well i had to accept that she was always a shitty mother lying stealing and making everything about her but she would have me so manipulated that i wouldve been afraid to even make a joke she could be offended bywell in the end i flipped her off for good then i threw her out for my own sake never will forget her face standing at the door looking at me like i just threw a puppy on the street to let it die that was so heart breaking for mealso im financially broke because since my dad died there is no one who helps my sister that is in financial need because she doesnt know how to handle money now i dont have enough money to pay my taxes and its gonna be hard to safe some because im suddenly loosing my job in  months because of reasons that have nothing to do with me and you can guess my mother wont help she didnt spend a single cent for me since i was and to round everything up i dont have a lot of friends because its hard for me to let people into my life but i had this one friend my girlfriends best friend who she was friends with for  years me  years and who was on the brink of becoming our boyfriend in an polyamorous relationship who also turned out to be a goddamn thief we estimate he stole around  €  even stealing every single  € coin we had saved in a box for years thats when you question everything and we realized he always was a shitty friend  i had too many excuses for him  and that he used us for sex pressuring us many times  which we always excused as well  we even think that he raped my gf in her sleep one time after she woke up in pain but he would jokingly brush it off saying he would never ever do that well know we dont know what he is capable of and may or may not have done but it doesnt matter cause we cant do anything about him because we dont have proofi am so overwhelmed i dont even know how im supposed to be feeling sometimes i get mad at random shit sometimes i want to cry at random shit but barely do and most of the time i just feel nothing except a disgust that sits real deep a real deep sitting general feeling of disgusti guess times like these make our character stronger but dayum i generally have problems with depression and anxiety and it was getting worse latelyand then all of the above happened in one single month all this makes me scared especially because right now i dont even feel connected to my feelings i mean i know i probably will get over it if i manage to not have meltdowns that end in suicidal thoughts  which i had in the past wtf is happening right now yknow hahai am afraid that this gonna be a huge stepback especially considering that i didnt have time or the possibilty to giref at all i know that normally i would be devastated at even one of these events and now i almost cant cry at all what if it hits me someday and i cant handle it how do i cope with this in a healthy way im trying really hard to do everything righ but i feel like i cant even think straight,3.0
29705,ktabin gigglesnort you love my smileys and you know it ,0.0
29706,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
29707,dealing with realizing im a terrible person and i hate myself i am realizing how shitty of a person ive been for the past year and i completely hate myselfi had an amazing relationship that i completely fucked up my best friend and i hooked up at the beginning of last year and it was the start of a really intense yet confusing  relationship we never put a proper title on it we just enjoyed each other we hid it from our other friends though some of them caught on eventually i had come out of a serious relationship semirecently and i am still dealing with commitment issues that are an outcome of the difficulty of that breakup since we never labelled things i never took it as seriously as we should i lied to him sometimes and called it off a few times just to try hooking up with other people i called it off the last time in november he hates me im pretty sure once my other friends found out about us and other stuff i hid and lied about they all hate me tooive still got some good friends and all its not like ive lost everyone completely i just feel like i fucked up the best thing ive ever and will ever have he loved me so much and being with him was like breathing oxygen it was always so fun and easy and chill i boasted my moral superiority but im realizing now that its all bullshit and im a shit person and i dont deserve happiness anyway ive struggled with depression for a while and last year i just used it as an excuse to be a fucking shitty personive lost him forever and i want to die i dont want to kill myself because it would be too much on my family but i just want to disappear forever or to never have existed or to just rewind a year and redo it and not take people for granted like i did im a shit person and i walked over people and everyone who hates me now has every right to because i fucked up so bad and ill never get these relationships back i feel bad for anyone whos ever gotten close to me because all i do is fuck everything up why am i such a short sited selfish bitch oh god i just want to disappear ,3.0
29708,littlefletcher   they are both gorgeous but i do like this one ,0.0
29709,dinafragola  oh no maybe check with the neighbour which neighbour it was that took him maybe then you check check face to face,2.0
29710,jasoncastro cool have a great day ,0.0
29711,alexrussin lucky i missed it ,2.0
29712,home alone again on a fri night ,2.0
29713, ive got to use windows to sync my ipod though ,2.0
29714,i musta slept the wrong way cuz my neck is jacked up i needa massage ,2.0
29715,elderlansing usarises kingjames potus sad that an entire race would want to continue to have a  handicap  ge httpstcoxiajpsdnla,0.0
29716,seems like its either live in misery or spread that misery to my family in my  years here theres been no sign that i have the capacity for happiness things have always been bad and they are going to get worse thats not just depressed thinking its unavoidable facts about my future i sincerely want to die but my family dont deserve it theyre not wonderful people but they arent bad people by any means they dont deserve to have a sonbrotheruncle kill themselves and send their lives into turmoil i dont exactly bring sunshine and happiness to those around me far from it but i know it doesnt matter the thought of my dad hearing the news makes me angry at how unfair life is hes on his own in another country with all his own problems i dont want to do that to him its too easy to imagine i dont wanna fuck up my nephew right from the start of his life he has enough issues to deal with and hes only  i help look after him most weekends because his father is ill and his mother is a fuckup like me suddenly hell have one less person to help him another person who abandoned him like his mother hell grow up with that bullshit on his mind my mother doesnt need much of an excuse to fall into a major depressive episode herself id probably be condemning her to suicide too all this will have a ripple effect on all the other relatives for years and decades to come long after my pathetic life is forgotten i guess there was some ripple that swept me up too one that started long ago and whose origin is also forgotten i suppose the selfless thing to do is to endure it and let everyone bury each other in the order nature decides on ill bury my parents my nephew will bury me and well try and avoid any distasteful waves of grief that might come from me jumping the queue i cant make any promises though,3.0
29717,i made chicken curry and it was good ,0.0
29718,rt clairlemon trigger warnings are a selffulfilling prophecy those who believed that words can cause harm demonstrated a significantly,2.0
29719,is very ashamed of south oxhey also want the rain to stoppp ,2.0
29720,wyctim a twitter kliens az �j quothello worldquot app ,0.0
29721,check out my new site at wwwcagasinfo  have a cool day  here in sacramento today ,2.0
29722,rt girlposts me im finally happy my depression two secs later ,1.0
29723,rt eyequotebudden tryna get depression to suffer from me,2.0
29724,yvonnepoz hello was hoping to twitter last night but work was busy  ate supper at   lol should not eat at all that late,2.0
29725, yessshhh thomasfiss and  we love you both ,0.0
29726,i hate sitting in the back seat all by myself   ,2.0
29727,has anyone here successfully quit ssris after taking them for years ive been taking fluoxetine prozac for many years nowim fed up with feeling tired all the time always hungry lethargic and basically lacking emotionon friday i went from  per day to  per day and im going to stay there for a while until ive spoke to my doctor i know that just cutting out ssris without tapering can be problematicany advice or personal experiences will be much appreciated,3.0
29728,sitting and watching tv  and chatting,0.0
29729,pauladauncey make that  retweets ,0.0
29730,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
29731,getting ready for workjason says i have to go in even if i dont feel good ,2.0
29732,tsarnick ah i seewell officialstaylo bestie i miss you hurry back ,2.0
29733,morninggg ergh its wednesday today  at least i have i latte to wake me up,2.0
29734,khurammalik sadly jense couldnt do it  but at least he got back up to ,2.0
29735,emilyosment all i want to know is if i was talking to a poser on facebook and why she deleted me  emily tmesmo   please xlet me no,2.0
29736,bout  fix more nachos and punch  da game ,0.0
29737,my order on  masks fall thru manufacturer just couldnt fill the order even it is in stock at time of order ,2.0
29738,excited to write in my journal ,0.0
29739,my mental condition has really worsened due to the turn of events im more alone and lonely than ive ever been in my entire life been thinking of self harmingor worse i cant take it much longer my hobbies and the internet are barely helping i sleep wishing i dont wake up the next day just to relive this nightmare of solitude a natural introvert but now in need of company someone to talk tosomeone who will listen and maybe understand,3.0
29740,morning tweeps since theres no concept of sport on the television in this house ill be relying on you all for  updates tia ,0.0
29741,woke up from a lovely nap  why is it that my best naps leave me waking up a little hot and sweaty   oh well i dont mind it ,0.0
29742,bassamlfc  is elite age  is just sad,0.0
29743,still watching the rain in the carribbean ,2.0
29744,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,1.0
29745,on our way home   bobbi,2.0
29746,soozcollett seems to hav travelled your way not here no more ,2.0
29747,kirstiealley if i didnt watch the news as much as i do i wud nvr have known that my best friend was seriously injured in an accident ,2.0
29748,tranformers star megan fox says she has a huge crush on hollywood superstar angelina jolie dear megan dont break our hearts ,2.0
29749,i know where my phone is now but im still drunk and have to work in an hour ,2.0
29750,mexican wave ,0.0
29751, yo just found out this sub hey there peoplewell straight to the pointnot diagnosed with depression but i feel like it great part of my timewhy not share it with strangerswell imagine you had everything you needed to be happy well now be unhappyhow the fuck am i unhappymy parents gave me literally everything i could ask for to be successful and happy but somehow im noti cant handle the tools i have to work for my futuremy mind is like go big or go home as i dont value my little steps i just feel the shittiest person in the worldyes i know there are people in a way worse situation than i am but i feel i walk towards nowhereim currently in a psychologist and ive already told her i dont think i can do shiti dont have a single dream a motivation do whatever it isi do crap all the time dont consider myself a real man just a little kid a frightened kid who is afraid to tryim fucking myself up day by day even knowing im doing the wrong thing just bought my  cigarette pack not sure how its called in english well a pack of  cigaretteskinda drunk dizzy for the cigarettes and alcohol and see no future just one more day where ill be a trashy person that doesnt make shit for his futurei feel like a waste of airresources and ughto make things even better s i just noticed im in love with a girl which doesnt consider me a man for her ye im a super close friend of her but much likely id be the one shed ask to hold her jacked while she makes out with a guy than the guy shes actually making with im not even an option well not with this attitude ofcjust felt like sharingtalking this stuff with friends that even know her well you probably know this stuffand thats me a fucking kid blaming himself for not trying but not trying at allim no good not even for meone more day of my sad existance cant remember whats happiness since  or  yo great content for  if someone reads this well thanks for your time,3.0
29752,pikaclicks jasknightwing ammorgaan it because half of depression is your mindset obviously there are some thing ,2.0
29753,i feel good ,0.0
29754,im bored with all this rain ,2.0
29755,depression causing low libido depression is a new thing for me lately and i have no idea whats causing it  i have no interest in eatingcleaningtaking a shower or being intimate with my husband  my kids are starting to sense something is up as well and i really have no idea how to reverse how i feel  every day is like a blur  im always angrysad what should i do i dont know how to switch it off,3.0
29756,broadwaycalls refall tour this wouldnt happen to have anything to do with green days european dates would it ,0.0
29757,pameyla yeah ,0.0
29758,my mom took my medication im  m uni student  usually a lurker on this sub but i have been feeling symptoms of depression for a couple of months now and finally saw a doctor about it he prescribed me prozac my  my dad is super religious and strict so i thought id be better off telling my mom didnt wanna deal with the you dont need medication jesus can fix anything come to church more yadda yadda spiel so i opted to tell my mom firsti told my mom about how ive been feeling and about the prozac she expressed a lot of concern and asked to see the medicationi thought she was just curious about it but nope she said shes not giving them back to me i honestly didnt put up a fight at all i didnt want to start a scene  simply said okmy mom has said she would much rather me do counsellingtherapy i am not against the idea but i did kinda want to see if my symptoms would go away after a course of medication so i wouldnt have to tell someone all the stuff going on in my head anymore,3.0
29759,mydoctortennant its too far away  and ive got school but i may still have an awesome evening anyways,2.0
29760,is watching television rather than doing homework   but gosh it feels soooo nice to just have a quiet night with my hubby and puppy,2.0
29761,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
29762,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
29763,the fullerton stop needs way more seating it is  and i do not want to be upright anymore ,2.0
29764,just hoping this stomach not kill meaaarrrgggghhhhh ,2.0
29765,willing to listentalk to anyone but im depressed and i hate myself right now and i dont know why the only thing that brings me any joy is being with my adult kids and my dogs  they are the only reason for me to be here  i dont want to do anything  go to work hang out with friends most days i dont even want to shower  i look forward to nothing but maybe food and going to bed  i sleep on and off between periods of waking and thinking about everything ive ever done or said wrong or cringy and hating myself for all of it  im not living my life im just existing   work tv food rinse repeati have no reason to feel this way  i dont have an so but i have a job a house family that loves me im not suffering financially my health is fine  so what the hell  i feel alone most of the time and i feel like a failure at life  id  be too embarrassed to tell anyone i feel this way because there is no legitimate reason for it  i dont want to hear its going to be okay  or that i should do this thing or that thing to help improve my mood etc etc  i know all the things so none of this makes me feel any better  do these statements actually help anyone   i just dont feel like anything can make me feel better,3.0
29766,how can i accept living in a world where so many people are so selfish this is going to be kind of long and rambling sorryhow do i live in a world where so many people especially the ones who run things are lazy and prideful at best and sadistic at worstdont try to tell me that its not that bad because it is the rules on here actually say dont dm depressed people to offer help because it makes them trust people morei discovered pretty early on in life that a lot of people are cruel for no goddamn reason i have adhd and autism neither of which was diagnosed until i was an adult to other kids i was the weird kid that no one liked and to adults i was a lazy brat with behavioral problems because i didnt know how to communicate what i needed i literally had teachers humiliate me in front of the class and encourage other students to treat me like shit in an effort to shame me into acting normal i was also sexually abused by six different people between the ages of  and  now as an adult i have a really hard time doing anything when there are people i dont know very well in a position where they can observe me i literally cant even relax if the blinds in my house are open i get panic attacks a loti got a job last year at a factory it was my first and so far only fulltime job it required overtime but i worked at it i really pushed myself because i need health insurance so i can get treatment to function i was so burnt out working at it that i ended up in a psychiatric hospital lost my job even with insurance the hospital bill cost around half of what i made the entire time i was working at that job  months my workers comp claim was just denied they didnt even spell my name right on the paperworkmy wife is also depressed as well as adhd autism and ocd she just got a job working at walmart it offers benefits but they dont kick in until april shes already run out of pills she cries a lot she had a seizure at work today thankfully she was conscious enough to tell them not to call an ambulance shes been having neurological problems for a while now and we finally got a referral to a neurologist right before i lost my job and subsequently our insurance if she becomes unable to work before insurance kicks in then well be kind of solwe applied for government health insurance weeks ago but theyre dragging their feet we called them on monday to see wtf was going on and apparently their system glitched and duplicated our application and it just didnt go through no autodetecting the duplicates and combining them no flag for someone on their end to look at it no nothing the system just doesnt do anything and we stay here sufferingdont even get me started on politics or climate or any of that other big stuff boy raises money for dads heart transplant isnt uplifting a child needing to work so their parent doesnt die when we live in a country where some people own multiple yachts is not upliftingim so sick of having to depend on other people but i know we probably always will because of our disabilities im so sick of people halfassing things that i really need them to do right im so sick of people doing the absolute bare minimum that they can get away with and then claiming im lazy when even keeping my house clean is a fucking battle against  different mental illnesses im so sick of people going out of their way to hurt each other im so sick of people telling depressed ppl to just reach out and get help and then underpaying their employees voting to cut disability benefits etc so they cant im so sick of people claiming to care about suicide prevention and then turning around and being dicks to strangers they dont even know ugh anyway i have been depressed for my entire life and this is the core of it the people around me particularly the people in charge of things just do not care about helping their fellow humans out at all doubly true if that human is different in some way i am nonbinary a lesbian a satanist ethnically jewish and mentally ill most people find at least one of those things objectionable and im required to depend on these people i cant just not i cant just exist free from other peopleand i know i cant change the way that people are no matter what i do im not going to magically make a significant percentage of the population stop being selfish and lazyso how do i move forward how do i accept that this how do i accept this intolerable realitythanks for reading and hopefully responding even if you dont have advice or anything just telling me something like i feel u would help me a lot,3.0
29767,going to bed alone ,0.0
29768,twinbush not sure but send us more info support at adaptivebluecom and well figure things out asap  thanks for the heads up,0.0
29769,i had horrible dreams last night ,2.0
29770,watchin the mtv awardssolely for robert pattisonhe is swexy as they get ,0.0
29771,should be on my way to school i think im gonna wait a while i move better when i hear from my boyfriendgt hes not awake yet ,2.0
29772,is bored school tomorrow  twenty twenty gig on  th sep at  ,2.0
29773,didnt make it to my  pilates class ,2.0
29774,what a sad sad society,2.0
29775,the worst thing about depression is everything can be fine and you can still have suicidal thoughts im not going to do it and really i feel okay but life is good and i still cant get excited about it im not really looking for comments or anything but i just wanted to state how im feeling i guess if i tell someone im down they will ask why and that makes it even more sad because i dont have  reason for being depressed i just am,3.0
29776,rt  thats the funny thing about anxiety  you werent entirely sure if you were real or if anything around you was either s,0.0
29777,carinasxq shut up i eat to manage my crippling depression,2.0
29778,joymeetsworld fo reals ,2.0
29779,painting my nails ,2.0
29780,scrii thank you   ryohakkai its rly simple canto but idk if im pronouncing it properly  you know how its diff when u singread,2.0
29781,jayedotcom im trynna get there too  forget all the other stuff i gotta get my ish together,0.0
29782,what should i do hi sorry for the stupid title but i didnt really know how to title this properly this is kinda a long story so i will add a summary if you dont want to read it all i am a senior in high school m  i have been through a shit life my parents divorced a long while ago and brought our family to pieces with their drunken fights and childish behavior that forced my siblings and i to choose sides on and live apart my father who i chose to live with emotionally abused me to the point of me trying to commit suicide by hanging myself ironically the poorly made noose i made broke when i tried to kill myself so i thought that was a sign but now my depression has worsened over the past two months my dog passed away unexpectedly who was my best friend for nearly  years who helped me through years of sadness died without me even saying goodbye to her they simply became another dead dog about  weeks later i get a message from a girl who i liked we talked for a few days and then she said she was interested in me i also was interested in her and we went on a few dates over the course of a month and things looked pretty good from there unexpectedly she broke up with me claiming she was getting over a boyfriend who had emotionally abused her and cheated on her and didnt know what to feel on the same day she wanted to meet up like we had been planning to so i can watch her do her sport that she was doing i went feeling like i could still fix our relationship together but then out of the blue her ex boyfriend shows up at the event and in a matter of a few seconds were making out with each other me trying not to attack him decided to leave she claimed she was sorry and wanted to be friends but i just couldnt bear to look at her and think of that night  its not even easy to ignore her as well she is in half of my classes i cant sleep at night i cant even go to work i dont even have my dog to comfort me i feel more alone then i have ever been and now it just seems like a good time to end it  everyday is a struggle to do the most basic of tasks and im so tired of it sorry for the big ass rantish story i just have no one to turn to for this summary dog died and girlfriend made out with another person in front of me and still wants to be friends dealing with shit from past with family and now this  i dont think i can go on ,3.0
29783,i feel lost im not even sure how to describe it anymore i struggle to see where i fit in anymore everyday just feels like a constant cycle of suicidal thoughts and i cant cope with it anymore i dont fit in with my family and dont want to be around them anymore sometimes it feels the only way forward is suicide because i dont know what else to do,3.0
29784,going to school is the hardest part of my day how do i stop this hey there i was extremely depressed and on prozac weaned off about a year and a half ago after persistent side effects and was a lot better for awhile i still am nowhere near as depressed as i was back then but i do feel it creeping up to the point where i cant go to school im a senior in high school and i miss  days every week my grades are fine considering how awful my attendance is im passing the classes that matter but im scared theyll get worse every time i wake up and plan on going i just feel paralyzed not physically just emotionally i guess how can i stop this people are always laughing with me about it and assume its just me ditching for fun and i hate that my teachers probably think im slacking off just because of laziness i only have  days left of school and i kind of want to tell my teachers whats going on now before i knock on wood drop to ds so that if i need help bring my grade up they wont think im just using the depression as an excuse,3.0
29785,well happiness isnt in swiss rolls ,2.0
29786,its so hot in my house im going to cry haha capter  of alan carrs book doing well  ill take it on sat just in case hah,0.0
29787,just got my warped tickets in the mail ,0.0
29788,i  unknowingly had sex with a minor  and may be prosecuted so i met this guy on tinder he adores me greatly we had sex a few times apparently he isnt  as he said he was hes  i had sex with a minor whats worse the police know i told them the truth the issue is i didnt come to them because i didnt know he was  until the officer who found us due to a missing persons report from his mom and told me but im still waiting to speak to a detective this isnt a legal grey area this is straightforward and simple i may be locked up for thisplease help,3.0
29789,paulkomoda    whats your new pets name,2.0
29790,i am feeling empty and hollow and i am  years old so i am senior in high school and i am going through the worst period of my life while i just turned  and feel like i should be excited about the future and ready to take on the world i feel empty depressed and insecure i had a really good childhood and was always around people children and adults and i cant remember a time where i doubted myself or was scared of the future fast forward to my high school years the start was great i have a great group of friends that    cares about me i went to a lot of parties met a lot of cool people and expanded my social circle like crazy living in miami also ive always been very social and good with girls when i look back at these times it makes me feel like there is no reason i should be sad because i had it all but i know that for most of that period there was often a part of me that never felt satisfied and insecure but now this whole thing got a lot worse i recently started to experience more and more anxiety and started disconnecting with a lot of people i feel depressed a lot and very hollow i second guess myself all the time and dont feel like im enough i know my friends will always be there for me but i feel more and more left out and i have a hard time keeping up with their very happy state they are all growing and becoming confident while i feel like im regressing i have negative thoughts most of the day and i notice them but i feel like i cant do anything about them i am scared for the future and do not feel capable to follow any kind of career i know that i am very smartwithout being cocky but i feel like my negative mindset will block me in the future i feel like im a bad person and just suck everyones energy i tried to heal myself by trying meditation reading books and exercising but it feels like nothing works i just feel so out of touch with everything theres a feeling in me that wants to cleanse itself because it feels like theres is something inside of me that is sucking away everything making me avoid to have fun becoming very self conscious and just putting me at a sense of unpeacefulness most of the time i hate myself and love myself at the same time ive thought about suicide many times and i am often jealous of everyone else because they seem to be living life to the fullest has anyone been in the same situation is there anything that helped them change and how long and how much work will it take to actually reach a point in which i can feel at peace can enjoy the moment and just be at a point where i can really start expanding myself by getting out of my comfort zoneplease answer i am going down a destructive path,3.0
29791,big sadness over california higher education cutbacks   ,2.0
29792,going through a breakup going through a rough breakup currently struggling not one of my friends have asked me if im ok and im loosing hope in myself fast,3.0
29793,moved back home i moved back into my house after my freshman year of college and it feels really good to be back with my family the only thing is i feel sad and unmotivated constantly after a doctors appointment yesterday i went from  to  of my antidepressant and i feel hopeless at this point i dont know what i need to do to feel happier when i was  hours away and studying every day eating shitty dining center food and dealing with daily school anxiety i wanted to be home more than anything now i am home and i feel useless sad   and horrible constantly i miss my friends and my boyfriend who all live nowhere near me being in my hometown is stressful i am terrified of seeing someone from my past i just wish i could pause time and figure out how to feel better and happier then hit play again so i dont waste any more of my life feeling this way i want to desperately to just laugh and enjoy life i know that eventually hopefully everything will be okay but it is difficult to get through these individual days,3.0
29794,quotpeter your dog is giving me diabetesquot ,0.0
29795,lol marivico charming day best ever ,0.0
29796,aussiemcflyfan its so unfortunate  itd be good if we could all have someone,2.0
29797, thanks quot umm i come back super late on sunday  cheapy,2.0
29798,i dont know how to be myself againi feel like im losing it completely dont have the energy to write much but im completely broken and no one to turn to i literally have no one i can talk to ,3.0
29799, day of summer vaca cleaning house home alone wanted to go to lifehouse concert playing world of warcraft go summer ,2.0
29800,  two of my fave girls my little  cousin aisling amp her auntie  my cousin joy ,0.0
29801,missing lindas graduation ,2.0
29802,now listening to quotsave roomquot by john legend ,0.0
29803,rt  lizcrokin a lawyer investigating the sandy hook mess was found in his wrecked car with  bullet holes in the back of,1.0
29804,jeanneendo  hi yes ill take a look and give you some feedback  on httpchronichealingcom  no problem ,0.0
29805,checking my facebook ,0.0
29806,good morning twibulous onesits my monday  work  this concentration camp ass place smh haha thats y i get off early    ,2.0
29807,thinks her body may have become immune to her new allergy medicine already  ,2.0
29808,wants to know whyyyyy the sun is refusing to show his face and insists on hiding behind big ugly clouds of rain  hello mr weatherman,2.0
29809,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
29810,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
29811,thisismyiq special k cereal ,0.0
29812,ok ate wayyy too many chips was still hungry and so i ate an orange totally feel like pukeing ,2.0
29813,rt angeldei im so worried abt everything when is this anxiety going to leave me alone,2.0
29814,im a bit sad todayour farmers market locally was hit by the economyi have to  miles now for fresh veg until garden comes in ,2.0
29815,monday again    ,2.0
29816,eww i have sand in my hair ,2.0
29817,have nothing to dobut i dont want to chat  ,0.0
29818,im so sleepy but i dont have a movie to watch in bed    suggestions,2.0
29819,i really really wish i lived closer to a whole foods hour and a half is not an acceptable one way driving time just for lunch ,2.0
29820,yaybren brenna u should eat some pickles or some um string cheese those were the only things i could think of ,0.0
29821,was excited about sleeping in tomorrow and just remembered have to take car to honda to be serviced damn damn damn ,2.0
29822,excited to go to the eyebeam digital museum now new technologies experimentations and media arts galore   httpeyebeamorg,0.0
29823, this made me very sad and i think im crying just a little,1.0
29824,linus is shattered   ,2.0
29825,morning all the ppl who read my senseless tweets  i woke up at  and really hope that ill go home today,0.0
29826, youre very correct and its extremely sad that they give our law enforcement such a bad rep especia ,1.0
29827, the true friend is the one who supports you in time of distress who stays with you if all is gone who ma ,1.0
29828,psigrist no its a word used by  old girls from the west country ,0.0
29829,reading about neda salehi agha soltan and feeling depressed and helpless about iran ,2.0
29830,realpattinson ohhhh does that mean that i get a hug but it better be a long one i want you to hold me ,0.0
29831,omg its ssooo cold bbbrrrrr i think iv got a cold nnooo   not good xxx,2.0
29832,nothing like seeing a dead body in the morning ,0.0
29833,gillpones no im just terribly sick ,2.0
29834,will feel immense relief on tuesday afternoon after getting the greek final exam over and done with wish me luck ,0.0
29835,dondiscumaci  thanks ,0.0
29836,my homework  i need help,2.0
29837,daivrawks clearly we should all take notes ,0.0
29838,salemsayed makansh asdy msh laziza fa msh hause it kan asdy msh laziza bas keda  kda kda its not very useful for us as a feature,0.0
29839,ddlovato i voted many times ,0.0
29840,rt onlinehomo theres a lot of things i can handle heartbreak being broke depression anxiety but cockroaches no sweetie its game,2.0
29841,riverisgod ohhhhhhh this one friggen rocks too ,0.0
29842,snootysims that sucks   ,2.0
29843,bgt im so gutted i turned on halfway through the  act flawless are the ones i wanted to see most ,2.0
29844,im affraid and the help i need might not exist i dont even know where to startbut i still want to do something about all this reach out seek help and make a changebut whatever the fuck is wrong with my head keeps me from even believing that there could ever be a solutionevery now and then it just feels like im getting sucked into an abyss of negative bullshit and suicidal ideas i know this is all just in my head im  years old and ive been struggling with this shit as far as i can remember i got pretty good at distinguishing between genuine worrys and what i like to call mental diarhea but that doesent mean i can stop it from affecting me it brings down everything i try to build up every single timei get a new job im motivated reliable and get along well with most people things start to look good but then someone at this new job says something that rubs me the wrong way and it begins i go home and cant stop thinking about it this gets worse everyday untill thoughts like  its the same everywhere  they are disgusted and annoyed with you and of course no matter how good you do to them youre scum by default and with them the drivelesness kicks in i lose focus at work start wasting the money just to distract me and after my contract expires ive made no progress in my life whatsoever no new friends becouse its exhausting to spend time with me nothing of worth acquired becouse i spend it all on drugs alcohol or games and now i just gotta look for another job to just repeat it all over validating all of these bad thoughtsi meet a new girl i get along with her pretty well and start to think on how and when to ask her on a date or something i wouldnt mind getting rejected that shit happens to everyonebut then i notice something smallthis other guy makes a joke that makes her laugh like i never could or i just notice that she has a better life then me in some wayand here comes the pain train getting way ahead of myself having all this negativity stomping any hope out shes probably fucking this dude already you have nothing to offer to her or shed be disgusted with you if she knew you better  so i never make a move and keep my distance untill i never see her againi never had any kind of relationship beforeand i feel like no matter who i will meet that cant change  becouse the person that cant commit and is disgusted by me is myself whether i like it or noti start working with an engine to make my own videogame doing something creative that not anyone could just do i make decent progress and have some cool things to showbut no one ever would take the time to play it or even critisise me for it so i delete  months of work without showing anyone becouse nobody gives a fuck about anything i doi have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a week i know this is the right step to take its clearly not just me being a crybaby there is more to my problembut my head already starts giving me ideasits just a guy getting paid to pretent giving a fuck he will just try to be done with you as fast as possible he wont believeunderstand you diagnosting you wrong and shit will get worsei write a lenghty reddit post to reach outafter looking for  minutes at a blank page and spending almost an hour to put my thoughts into words i now start thinking this way again why are you even writting this no one will read such a long postthey will reply not to help you but just to feel better about themselfstheyre your friends and supporters now but nothing will come to of it youll never meet anyone that could even make a sence out of these ramblings let alone anyone that actually wants to waste any time on youwhat is wrong with me why cant i stop dragging myself and everything around me down when i know im capable of so many thingswhat should i do,3.0
29845,dannymcfly why do you ignoring me  look its really impornt  not just for me to all the israeli fans  do you hate israel  x,2.0
29846,aolradio lol  cpc day is essentially a day full of pulling reports and sending emailsnot so much fun ,0.0
29847,going to church ,0.0
29848,depression news new hope for senior adults with depression httpstcolzhtbwvzpf,2.0
29849,rt cowspotcomm mobile crisis services operates a farm stress line out of regina they are available at any time amp are completely confiden,1.0
29850,sometimes i wonder how common suicidal thoughts actually are like  minutes ago i was having a complete mental breakdown in the shower hiding from everyone and i was thinking on how irrelevant i am in everyone elses lives like it wouldnt matter if i was dead since i am nothing but an annoying burden this happens once every few weeks then its like im stuck in a strange place then im happy then im very happy and then im planning on how im going to die to stop being such a burden for everyone around me i wish i could just disappearbut then i said common how ridiculous can you get everyone goes through this youre not special stop making it about youso then i feel awful because i think that my depression is nothing but me being dramatic i was clinically depressed when i was  almost  and then things got better but when i was around  im almost  things just got worse with the mood swings but like its just so ridiculous im pathetic how can everyone else around me deal with this and im over here being such a dramatic little bitch seriously i hate myself for thatanyways im just ranting sorry for wasting your time,3.0
29851,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
29852,fibrefairy ikwym but it isnt surprising really  and im sure voter apathy had a lot to do with it ,2.0
29853,home from the mercedes college fete my feet are killing cuase i have been standing on them all day ,2.0
29854,sameyy you still havent told me what youre supposed to tell me im waiting ,0.0
29855,heatherosborn tell tom to hold his wallet until rwa   i am working for my boss ned unfortunately nedfail,2.0
29856,i feel like everything is closing in on me and i cant escape i feel like shit right now every day i have to wake up realizing that im trapped in a reality that wants me dead i have school work like theres no tomorrow and i need to get it all done because its my eighthgrade year and im getting credits for high school and my parents will not let me decline the credits i feel like im quickly slipping back in the dangerous state i was in last year before i switched schools i was bullied a lot and most of my friends ended up being my worst enemies i almost killed myself on more than one occasion and cut a lot every day i feel like im on the verge of tears but not a single tear will come out im not even able to see the few people that keep me going at least my boyfriend streams so i can hear his voice at least honestly im not supposed to have reddit or any sort of social media at all no gmail no deviantart nothing i defy this rule only because i know that i need somewhere to escape reality or ill die yeah i dont particularly deserve to be taken seriously at my age  but i just need to talk and i dont want to burden those i love my mom is already in a tough situation with money so she doesnt need me stressing her more im sure i just realize most of my problems cant be solved but that only makes it worse knowing that there is nothing i can do about my dad stressing me out and my mom not having enough money to do anything because of all of the child support she has to pay because of me being fucking alive i hate myself for it but theres nothing i can do if i die i believe that i will burn in the fiery depths of hell because i never have enough faith or knowledge to be who i need to be religionwise im afraid of abandoning who i am as a person to go after a tireless attempt to become a spitting image of a higher being even though i will never be able to become anything close i was born to be nothing more than a shell with a soul that does not belong to me my mind knows this but my soul cant accept it i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
29857,miss playing sims   but im stuck at home rushing my coursework damn,2.0
29858,tried opening up i tried opening up to my brother today about how hopeless ive been feeling he told me that im too privileged to be depressed and that kids in africa have it worse than memaybe i am being too dramatic and should just suck up everything thats getting me down maybe my feelings arent even real maybe im just feeling sorry for myself,3.0
29859,    on the computer        ill    lol       no fuckin goin to portugal        ,2.0
29860,rt dadephelan mhatpolicy govabbott mhatexas proud to joint author thank you  great mental health legislation ,1.0
29861,can we stop having such random results at dts costing me money ,2.0
29862,depression is starting to get heavy im starting to lose interest more and more just how ive been feeling lately just wanted to let it out i hate feeling like this but i can feel it getting heavy i dont want to slip more and more into depression,3.0
29863,man i am seriously delinquent on my twittertime lately whats the matter with me i guess its the shortage of davidarchie tweets ,0.0
29864,my phone just got its first bruise  my poor iphone,2.0
29865,i get to see one of my favorite people next week and taking back sunday needless to say i am excited ,0.0
29866,sarawhat i want to be napping but i am with family ,2.0
29867, luizcomz i like starting things   ,0.0
29868,wants a graduation ,2.0
29869,please pray for memy cousin is drivin like a crazy man and im scared ,2.0
29870, daily takehomemessage among patients with depression following recent acute coronary syndrome  tre ,2.0
29871,darnellwright lol omg you are too funny i wouldnt follow diddy wait i follow diddy lets play another game  lol,2.0
29872,um on it now  want somthin to hate on  hate on that  duval fri   itz time to celebrate  all the way live ,0.0
29873,sarajbenincasa wow no idea you were famous just though your tweets were amusing lol congrats eh feel better ,0.0
29874,hanamay follow dopood gt deddy ,0.0
29875,just finished my  junior cert exam   cant wait till its over ,0.0
29876,wants to go to her friends house to just get away ,0.0
29877,i dont know what to do anymore okay this is about to be a long one so bear with me here goesas a kid i was somewhat normal i didnt have a problem making friends as i had quite a few i was actually the type of kid in class who probably annoyed everyone and didnt care this was when i was around  years old the only problem here was i was prone to very angry outbursts i still am there was even one time when i was in kindergarten where we were standing in line waiting to enter the classroom i was wearing a hat that day and my friend standing behind me takes it off my head and starts wearing it i got very pissed turned around and took it off her head and whipped her across the face with it shit like that i was also getting sent to the principals office nearly everyday as a  year old i was out of control i should also note that this is when i first started seeing a therapist and put on meds because i was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder odd i have seen multiple therapists since then and have been on multiple meds but none have seemeed to workthankfully i learned to control myself in the classroom over time anyways besides that i was a pretty normal kid up until around  grade by then i became addicted to playing computer games all day i believe this is the point i diverged from everyone else and i regret it to this day somhow somewhere i lost alot of confidence and became an easy target for bullyingteasing it didnt happen everyday but lets just say i became the type of kid that walked around by himself at recess with his hood up everyday i practically had no friends besides maybe  or  but my anger at home was still there i would constantly through a fit everytime i didnt get something i want i put my parents through hell i was also fighting with said friends alot and then making up with them a few weeks later it was not healthy at all  grade was when shit started to get real i basically said fuck it and decided to make an actual effort to make friends i ended up trying too hard and got picked on even more for it i believe most of my problems to this day stem from this kind of rejection  this was also the same time my depression startedanyways as i got older i obviously became more aware of the world around me it got a little easier for me in middle school but this was around the time everyone became more connceted to each other with the use of phones and technology friend groups started to get bigger and more interconnceted and before i knew it everyone seemed to know everyone this caused me to feel extremely bitter towards kids my age because i felt left out and i still didnt have that many friends as id like when i was  i started smoking weed i loved it at first but months later i started becoming a daily user the problem here was that it made me feel hazy and quite literally stoned everytime i smoked it its like i couldnt think of words to say and when i did i stuttered or say something stupid it literally made me feel like a rock it also made me very apathetic and numb but i kept smoking it to escape reality until recently i got a dui thats another story but it contributes to my depressionaround this time i met my first girlfriend everything was good at first until i started to see the batshit crazy side of her she turned most of my friends against me by lying to them and eventually she broke it off with me so now shes on my shitlistand that was the straw that broke the camels back i developed a twisted view on relationships and society in general it made me want to kill myself i began to hate people i wanted them to suffer because they are happy and i feel they dont deserve that happiness whenever i look at pictures on social media of people happy it makes me sick i just want it all to end society people everything i dont want to live in a world where only some people are happy and not everyone i understand that is reality and theres not much you can do but if life is supposed to be a gift why do i and many others like us view it as a curse nothing interests me anymore and i feel like life is inherently meaninglessso thats my life summed up in a post if you took the time to read it thank you i appreciate it i just felt the need to organize my thoughts to get a clearer head on the issue im sorry if it was long i just feel like my life is falling apart right now,3.0
29878,the ice melted now im all wet  ,2.0
29879,people ask how can they help do my phone calls for me p just sharing this rant with people wholl understand me please read with amusment and not too seriously i just keep procrastinating them and they are all for my own good even plessure this time but i hate phone callsand i dont want to take care of myselfi will never ask though and no one will ever offerhow can i helpshut up and bring foodcan also work p,3.0
29880,mathewdolan hey matthew  so when are we starting this band of ours then we will be bigger than girls aloud i reckonexcited for pinkx,0.0
29881,millionmindsart great ,0.0
29882,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
29883,how to deal with crazy parents i have a crazy mother whom has always been in abusive relationships in which she lies to put the poor guys in jail shes always made my life a living nightmare and she causes me to have very extreme suicidal thoughts i am not afraid of death which why i am afraid that one day i might seriously just kill myself i dont want to call a hotline because i feel like theyre useless its not like theyre gonna grant me a better life or anything theyre probably just gonna tell me the same shit they probably tell everyone like life gets better mijo trust me or its situations like this that make you strong or even  if you need someone to talk to were here i dont want to be tough because of a shitty life i just want to be happy it makes even more sad seeing the kids at school whom have rich families that dont experience domestic violence they could never understand what im going through im so jealous of their happiness and i hate whoever gave me this life i also dont see how talking is gonna make me feel better what i need is serious help and solutions i feel like no one can save me from my problem and i dont expect them to a lot of family has told me to call the cops because of how serious my situation gets at times but unfortunately i cant because i smoke weed and it is illegal if i were to call the cops my mom would fight me in court and most likely win because she would be able to prove that i smoke and i wouldnt be able to prove that she is abusive unless i recorded her or something which i have but she took my phone away and deleted everything  the only person that could maybe help me is my dad but he now has another family with kids and i dont feel like im part of that family overall i feel alone and helpless and would like to kill myself one day i dont know if i came here for advice or just to talk but here i am anyways maybe if anyone has had a similar situation to this that can help i would appreciate some advice i guess i really dont know what would help i also dont really want to go to a psychologist because as soon as i came back home i would go right back to the toxic environment i live in its also starting to affect my school life because i am angry or depressed all the time and some times i accidentally take it out on someone when i really just have other shit going on in my mind people tell me i look angry all the time and that i should just chill out but i dont know how anybody could when you have to wake up in hell everyday,3.0
29884,twenty three years old and i feel bitter i hope it doesnt feel like im complaining im just describing how i feelfirst of all i increasingly feel like i have little in common with my family anymore i have some of the best parents one could hope for they started with so little and have obviously provided for me but its just that i feel dont want to spend as much time with them as more and am kind of ashamed im still living at my parents house i used to be best friends with my sister but i dont really think we have that much in common anymore  for example the other day my dad and sister were talking about something and i realized i just had no desire to be in the same room this leads me to my next problem i was too too anxious to make friends and socialize when i was younger and i feel like i lack those basic skills i wish i had some good friends i could go out with and hang around but i just dont there are some people i continue to see but its kind of just by default i wish i could go and make morenew friends including female friends but i am too nervous to do that i guess maybe im just not charismatic enough i hate social media its either depressing crap about all the bad stuff in the world political shit or people i knew from high school traveling the world being with theirs friends or sos starting real careers or otherwise being successful or happy  i think i actually talked to more people when i was fifteen than i do now because i was actually forced to be around them i have such rapid mood swings one moment i was feeling great because i had successfully uploaded a youtube video the next i was laying down and just wanted to be alone the only subject i was ever really passionate about was history and theres no clear career path with that unless i become a professor or the like i know i need to first just get a job even though it would probably be shitty and low paying and then maybe go on some sort of online dating website but like i said i just dont feel confident enough to do that i dont know what i want to do in the short run or the long run ill graduate in a year and i do like the idea of traveling to italy or some country in europe but even then i feel like the reality wont live up to my heightened expectations,3.0
29885,ddlovato hi demi i am a huge fan  tweetback please lt  kylie kella miller,0.0
29886, haha yeh shit i know  i meant a  hour drive from the air port haha  sorry   good good im not a fan of being freezing ,0.0
29887,anyone ever experience a week or so of liftedelevated mood and think theyre making progress only to go back to feeling depressed shortly after two weeks ago i started to feel great my mood was lifting my outlook was i was telling myself im finally seeing progress and then out of no where i wake up one morning and am just back into the dumps not one particular thing made me feel great or made me feel poorly im just wondering if this is natural and if anyone else feels these upsanddowns,3.0
29888,mehn this explains alot httpstcojpmrscrfaw,2.0
29889,loves brokencyde  i just saw them liveeeeeeee  ,0.0
29890, no didnt get a chace to watch tf  going to hit an imax this weekend with any luck i need it in my life soooooo bad lol ,2.0
29891, im so excited  misselle and i have been shifting impatiently in our seats ,0.0
29892,and the technoy version of birthday sex ,0.0
29893,this voice wont get out of my head you know intrusive thoughts and how they can sometimes get worse and turn into a voice god its gotten so bad in the last few months and it just wont go away its like im in an abusive relationship with my own mind are you fucking kidding me god youre so patheticyou really think he wants you look how distant hes being just put the phone down and go fucking hurt yourself you deserve ithow pathetic do you have to be to be so fucking clingy god youre so worthlessit even says weird crazy shit like ill always be here and im all you know and yeah its right depression and anxiety is all i know ive always been this way and i see no way out ive forgotten what its like to be normal and im only fucking  for christs sake i just want this shit out of my head i just wanna be normal and happy but i cant be so id rather just disappear ,3.0
29894,tgcatgirl i will  sho be on just need to get my kids something to eat  amp clean up alittle ,0.0
29895,today is the hardest day ive had in a long time i just feel like i cant do today its going to happen anyway and i really dont want it to im  so i dont know that i fit into this subreddit anymore but at the same time i think we all relate to each other because our suffering is still the same just the rest might be different but i really cant today today i dont know how im going to get through it,3.0
29896,is plurking tp ini knp commentx bhs piliphina smua eh ap vietnam this is confusing me  httpplurkcompxanik,2.0
29897,new epic games announcement  xbl arcade shadow complexgame coming out summer ,0.0
29898,clarkew thanks a lot clarke good to see you on twitter ,0.0
29899,finished with finals im going to miss dr ali ,2.0
29900,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
29901,removed the orange nail varnish from my toenails that lasted a whole moon  what colour should i use next ,0.0
29902,starbucksbitch noooo joe is a meany ,2.0
29903,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
29904,just painted my nails now what my nose itches im hungry and im inspired to write im stuck  crap just messed up my thumb ,2.0
29905,omg  i think i need a new laptop  ,2.0
29906,hericabral i will remember that i was not included in your  when mine comes around ,2.0
29907,amiraruzuar haha you replies yourself dumbass  but yea but not much anymore now ,2.0
29908,jukesie oh you need to leave bristol  well done on the job though mate,2.0
29909,nancyoxo i wannnna change my username its too long  suggestions ,2.0
29910,headache ,2.0
29911,coleenrooney good luck with baby  i think you amp wayne will be a perfect mum amp dad ,0.0
29912,liarsandfrogs i would have had no clue it was your first nonbax shoot ,0.0
29913,rt staarrq  you are sad yes want to fuck ,0.0
29914,suntravelblog enjoy it  the cruises from baltimore are really nice ,0.0
29915,bored of noninspiring and lazy colleagues  where is the innovation and the spirit and the resolute government,2.0
29916,having a non impressive wednesday evening ,2.0
29917,managed to get internet back a bitfeeling pretty bad atm ,2.0
29918,another beautiful day in the emerald city ,0.0
29919,greensepic qquite sad but im fineshe smiled a bitwhat are you doing,1.0
29920,rt  we will be providing a national therapy session with our film unfit   the time has come to make the film the gop does not,0.0
29921,on the way to georgetown miss my child but godmommy steppin up tino keeping me busy ,0.0
29922,piegirl a boston break saw tracy bob wandered around a little bit and slept extra ,0.0
29923,deathreat haha  yeah i posted it already haha ang babaw eh noh,0.0
29924,it just keeps coming back im sure that most people already understand this but i keep falling back into the same shithole thats depression the worst part of it is i still doubt my condition despite being told several times maybe its because of my extremely young age not only that i still feel i have no right to be depressed i dont feel obligated to feel sad because i have almost everything good for me im a lazy slob with no sense of responsibility or alarmat least thats the name ive settled on for nowcurrently my friends are all sharing remorse over one of their girlfriends getting in trouble for being gay but thats an entire different story that i wont go into and i havent said a thing we share a group chat online its not that i dont care its just that im scared that my depression will make me sound selfish i dont want to tell them im depressed because itll likely make me sound selfish either way i cant really win right nowive been holding back my feeling from them for such a long time weve all vented to each other except for me as of now and i dont know how long i can take itwith that in the way ive just been left alone left to be the shutin i am its already so difficult to carry a conversation with social anxietyi only find comfort online or in virtualfantasy worlds so all i do is play video gamesi used to be so passionate in drawing because it made me happy but lately it has been months since my last drawing im a disappointment to my parentsi cost so much moneyi do nothing to benefit anyonei feel as if im some addon that you can remove and everything would still function properlythis may seem all over the place but i need to vent once againim sorry,3.0
29925,went on a picnic with todd   and kekoa sarah im free tomorrow night wednesday thursday until five and friday until five,0.0
29926,kittykittyws  hahah just dip the peascarrots in grease then you will eat them ,0.0
29927,dgkanatsios not sure but i dont think so ,2.0
29928,good morning at all ,0.0
29929,eehh the homeless people in tampa make me sad ,2.0
29930,i was never depressed until i graduated from university im unhappy where i am currently in life and i feel struck and trappedever since i left college ive been feeling really confused and hurt ive had one job and i got firedlet go from and it was very difficult to get over im not a horrible worker or anything the workplace was very toxic they have actually reached out to me recently because they wanted me to sign something that i wasnt comfortable with having my name on my new job is a little bit better but not by much my boss screams and curses at me a lot when i screw up simple tasks or things that she doesnt like i try really hard and sometimes im at this point where im trying not cry during the day but some days i feel more comfortable when i know shes gone for the day she makes me feel really scared and nervous my other boss is a little bit less like that i enjoy the work i do for now i just recently got some test scores back and they werent promising so it makes me feel more hopeless for the future i even sent a personal statement i wrote to some close friends and they all said it was too dramatic and poor it really hurt my feelings because it was my experience in the real world thus far im seeing my therapist soon bit i just needed some support because i feel very confused and hurt i was never a sad person growing up but now as an adult i cant remember the last time i felt happy or excited about life it doesnt come as often as it used to i try to stay positive but comparison creeps up behind me and social media doesnt help i guess im a hypocrite because here i am anyways sorry for being so long just looking for support no mean comments please,3.0
29931,what if im stuck at home forever ive always thought that my life would improve if i somehow managed to move out but what if i never get out im  in my second year at university and i wasnt able to move into student housing financial reasons i just get the feeling that im bound to be stuck here and miserable for the rest of my life anyone else feel like this ,3.0
29932,just got friji milkshake everywhere ,2.0
29933,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
29934,im feeling sick to my stomach because of this ,2.0
29935,just got back from our long lakwatsa super sakit ng paa ko huhuhu  i need a massage ,2.0
29936,  hiiyaaa i am like your biggest fani lovee you pleasee replyy   have you had a message from lauraeagles bye xxxxxxxx,0.0
29937,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
29938,i am completely broke    at first it started with my ex girlfriend cheated on me and then i was completely shattered i didnt know what to do at this point i was relatively better i just started smoking then the problems came in the family and at school here i started to cut myself however after a while that wasnt enough and one of my classmates gave me a xanax it was very good at first i felt this could be the solution soon after i found a guy who was selling sedatives at a pretty high price but it didnt matter i needed it i was taking more and more of these drugs and i was always sleepy tired unable to pay attention to class at first my class teacher noticed that something was wrong with me i talked to him a bit and told him i have a couple of problems but i didnt tell him about the sedatives he called my mother and told her to talk to me because she didnt think i was feeling well this conversation did not last long from my childhood i did not tell him anything about my problems but rather to my father i asked for help and my mom sent me to a psychologist at first it was good because someone understood my problems but after a few times he laughed in my face at the sight of my hand full of cuts i saw no way out here anymore i turned to drugs again the fact that i was consuming drugs like this was first discovered by my aunt who uttered the most painful sentence i had ever heard then kill yourself i didnt needed any more i drove my little motorbike a long away with a whole box of rivotril and a knife of course i didnt had a license then i called my dad to say goodbye and he told me not to worry he was coming for me right away and we would discuss the whole thing we went for a carriage ride and were a little reassured i went to my gp for anxiety panic attacks etc and he referred me to a psychiatry where i had to go for a conversation during the conversation and the doctor asked me the magic question do you want to stay here apparently i said yes because at least i could have been away from my problems and it will be good it didnt happen that way i thought it would be  days haha no its actually  days    here i made a couple of friends who felt my situation and have been talking to them sometimes ever since then the summer passed somehow sometimes better sometimes worse but here i met a girl i loved very very much i never loved anyone like her everything that was between us lasted until january  here she said i was too much too negative and she dont want to talk with me anymore im really shattered its april now and im still suffering from it and i dont dare talk to this girl about whether his opinion might have changed because i still love him but if she refuses it ill be shattered even more i do not know what to do i still have family problems and im thinking about taking my medicine again help me sorry my english is bad im just learning it but hope you understand the message,3.0
29939,im sad im so sad  yet happy,2.0
29940,you know whats really sad ive seen someone comment on the new castlevania netflix series they cant wait to wat ,1.0
29941,ive got owwies ,2.0
29942, yeah thats right i didnt know you are a lakers fan ,0.0
29943,i think the penguins need to step up there game and win the next oneor i may just have to quotinjurequot some red wings hahaha ,0.0
29944,rt pudseylabour i am delighted to pledge support for people with mental health problems in line with minds manifesto httpstcow,0.0
29945,strictlyb i am very calm as well but the thought of penalties gives me anxiety i am quietly confident though w ,0.0
29946,made some salsa and queso fixin to watch notorious with my wonderful wife ,0.0
29947,going to dynasty to eat ,0.0
29948,literally feel like im in a fistfight with my anxiety right now,0.0
29949,deasaurr me too  awww,2.0
29950,i am so fucking rough today ,2.0
29951,my overwhelming depression my depression is weird and hidden if you meet me im a usually happy and cheerful girl im that girl who gives sad people life advice and most of them thank me for helping them but theres really no one there for me i recently broke up with my boyfriend and im more depressed now than i ever was but i feel like i am and will always be alone it sucks that even if im surrounded by so many people i think and feel lonely depression has been a big factor in life but showing it to people makes me feel weak so i really just laugh at it and joke that i dont need it or shit like that high school was also a big factor why i hated and still hate life so much so many hypocrites and assholes my ex is doing great and everyone around me is so happy it really just makes me feel lonely in how someone cant relate to this feeling i feel like if theres someone that i can relate to or that can genuinely understand how this feels like i wouldnt feel like im so abnormal,3.0
29952,fiercethimble  ahhhh u like a cool rag on the forehead lol  yes had a great time d was it,0.0
29953,wake up late i have got a severe headache ,2.0
29954,today was fun ,0.0
29955,mileycyrus there was an earthquake scary ,2.0
29956,missing out on college i am in a day program so that means no college i am hurting so deeply already but the idea of me missing out on the college experience hurts me so much too i wish i could go to college live in a dorm and have the regular college experience but i cant my issues wont allow it anyone else relate,3.0
29957,goood luck masias sab and manda i wish i could be there too ,2.0
29958,signing up for twitter ,0.0
29959, oh snap i be gone til   i shall miss the lil turd,2.0
29960,thank you wwmcneill  friends like you ,0.0
29961,flufffriends i knew that i am too slow ,0.0
29962,happy to sad just like that ever just have a good day and then out of nowhere you feel sadness lovely day today minus losing an expensive item that i actually accepted as lost fairly quickly and feel okay about or do i maybe these tears are because of that but suddenly i start to feel sad and some tears started writing this really quick so maybe thats why theyve stopped anyways it happens sometimes and i dont know if other people experience this i could google it but i though asking real people might be betteri have some mild anxiety and depression the depression isnt so mild though but this wasnt a down today it was mostly positive i even journaled it as a good day but then bam emotions sadness tears wtf is this and why does this happen,3.0
29963,missing a ton of school because of anxiety and depression and i am only  what do i do i am suffering from a ton of anxiety and depression and i am only  in the seventh grade technically it has been a month since i attended a day at school because of the winter break after the winter break i have missed the first  weeks of the new term i am too overwhelmed to get back in school everything at my school makes me nothing but depressed everyone is rude and immature everything is stressful and i am just down all the time i need help ,3.0
29964,man my internet is slow atm ,2.0
29965,im sad all of a good solid sudden,0.0
29966,basedmagazine im mad at you ,2.0
29967,greyeyesgabriel nothing  characters could cover ,0.0
29968,thecitytease dontyouhateitwhen you have insomnia and no snuggle bunny ,2.0
29969,megaton whats good tell jaeellis i said hi ,0.0
29970,bydust idd my point exactly ,0.0
29971,i need help i feel like im alone all the time im  my parents think im doing great they try to get me to go outside and i do sometimes but whenever i have to come back inside and sit down on my bed i just feel lonely i feel nobody cares for mea few weeks ago a few of my friends and i had a sleepover where we watched a lot of the studio ghibli films and your name during this one of them started making fun of me after i made a slightly dark joke then another joined in until only  didnt make fun of metheres about  in our group not including me and i then got up and accidentally knocked over a glass breaking it so i said that ill clean it up and i went upstairs to get the broom i made it to the broom but instead of actually taking it downstairs to clean up the glass i just grabbed it and sat down i started crying until i couldnt cry anymore i for the first time in my life i truly thought if i killed myself right now would anyone actually care honestly i think i wouldve if one of the  didnt text me about how shes there for me all the time and if i need to talk to her i can we had a conversation for about  minutes while i was still crying i went back down there sat down and said that i was sorrynow im starting to feel like i did before the sleepover depressed like nobody cares like im invisible to everyone,3.0
29972,dudarsaldanha tirando o stress diário kkkkkkkk,2.0
29973,manxington yup i think it depend on what written on the package too if it say catnip they take it away or something  cats at maf happy,2.0
29974,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
29975,i miss events  i wanna go again,2.0
29976,is happysad it has been a very emotionally confusing day ,2.0
29977,erwichc make it two knishes just in case ,0.0
29978,sorry i havent been tweeting much its the depression,1.0
29979,jaleesie nounforutnately notim here tired as helli slept soo bad last night ,2.0
29980,trust issues i havent ever trusted anyone fully never talked about my problems or anything yea ive complained about things to some people but i dont know anyone ive actually vented to being afraid ill be called a pussy or something exi have  close friends all in a decent neighborhood  friends parents are divorced and the other isnt as fortunate as us economically me the one without any problems never addresses anything i sympathize with others but not myself my sister makes fun of me in front of her friends for their entertainment  my parents try to talk to me but i cant help but feeling like a let down to them as they have set a bar up too far away from my reach whenever i take a look at the bigger picture of things life is pathetic why trade paper with other people until you die to only be forgotten by everyone and everything just doesnt make sense to me this prolly doesnt belong in this subreddit but idk where to put it,3.0
29981,britneyspears love ya  big fan of the song quotlace amp leatherquot,0.0
29982,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
29983,need to start studying soon ,2.0
29984,i hate when you feel slightly okay for a brief moment and your mind tells you that you must actually be a fraud and theres nothing wrong with you ive been clinically depressed for nearly  years now i never enjoy anything and never look forward to anythingbut im going to see foo fighters tonight and i feel not too bad at this moment i would nearly say im excitedso naturally i start to think that im a fraud and theres nothing wrong with me if i am in fact capable of some sort of positive emotion i fucking love depression smh,3.0
29985, me too the season finale this year was sooo intense i still cant decide which character i like bettersam or dean ,0.0
29986,curlydena ur welcome ,0.0
29987,i need anxiety medicine man i am shaking,2.0
29988, re otalia guidinglight madness i blame crystalchappell shes the reason were all most of us on twitter to begin with ,0.0
29989,just voted for  seconds to mars for the kerrang awards ,0.0
29990,i love daysdifference ,0.0
29991,to my digg friends ill do my best to keep up with the stories you post on twitter  but dm me if youve got something superimportant ,0.0
29992,brianaevigan hey miss hope youre well ,0.0
29993,everything is annoying me this morning  not good ,2.0
29994,rt manisssh irony just committed suicide 😂😂 ,1.0
29995,making promises to yourself you dont keep is pretty damaging ill go for a  minute walk tomorrowill get started on my business idea tomorrowill call my family back tomorrowevery time you tell yourself these type of things and dont follow through it gets stored in your subconscious memory before long you lose trust in your ability to follow through and start to enter the deep hole of hopelessnessimagine being a child and having your parent tell you every day that tomorrow they will take you to the park or somewhere that makes happy only to eventually refuse to take you again and again what a cruel thing to do why do it to yourselfits ok if progress is super slow after all thats better than promising yourself a larger goal and not following throughgive yourself a pat on the back when you make the slightest progress and know that its ok if you cant reach certain goals everydaythanks for reading ,3.0
29996,knitster totally need to be everything breaks or aches too much need a new body ,0.0
29997,feeling ill  wish i didnt because i would be on the field with my awesome friends right now,2.0
29998,busy morning no rolls and black pudding bummer  when will the camera return who knows,2.0
29999,i have so many ppl muted its sad,2.0
30000,what a waste im in my mid  its been ten years and it hasnt gotten better its worse now its too much failure after failure everything i try no friends dreadful job no future and these arent even real problems i dont have any good reason to hate and be so angry and sad i sleep in a warm bed every night i  have enough money for everything i need my family despite partially being the cause of my fucked upness does genuinely care about me but i cut and writhe and punch the dresser when i wake up nonethelessim weak im broken ive wasted immense opportunity artistic talent even good looks squandered id like to die decades more of this isnt worth it my birthdays coming up i guess ill probably do nothing for the xth year in a row ive lost count just like almost every major holidaynotable occasion how is this where ive ended up ,3.0
30001,laceykim there is also mydadisafobcom ,0.0
30002,celexa and remron together i was on celexa  and remron  for about  years i then quit celexa for  months and was feeling absolutely great i recently have had health problems that made my anxiety skyrocket and have been placed back on celexa  helped take some of the anxiety away but not a whole lot so i just got upped to  and i feel like complete shit again they initially tried prozac with me and i ended up in the er with the worst panic attack ive ever hadis it really safe to take these two meds together with the risk of serotonin syndrome especially long term im not thrilled about having to be on celexa again,3.0
30003,so im at this party in hawaiingardens familyparty likee the lights   ,0.0
30004, just looking at it now nice work congrats ,0.0
30005,lennykravitz i want tickets but im here and ur there  that sux hope all is well,2.0
30006,oo im bored but my room is looking nice and clean ,0.0
30007,i just made the best pasta in the history of pastas mmm yumm ,0.0
30008,going to new york in a couple weeksmaybe ill run into robert pattinson i hope he believes in love at first sight ,0.0
30009,rt therickwilson this todd kincannon story is amazzzzing and horrifying also he needs to spend a long time closely supervised in an,2.0
30010,rt  nazaninzaghari s wellbeing amp mental health is in need of professional amp medical attention her physical condition as a,1.0
30011,rt sarahsolfails my dad and i have a tradition of putting me in the costco cart and now that im nearly  we realized its bordering on,0.0
30012,fuck this shitty world i feel like shit and i look like shit im poor im uneducated i have no friends nothing to eat i stay up super late fuck up my sleep schedule and then fix it only to fuck it up again my house is a mess and im too hungry and frail to clean it im too weak to cook im too afraid to help myselfi fuck around on the internet all day and then pass out and im constantly reminded by others that im a second rate person too weird or awkward or antisocial to be worthy of hanging out with or talking to and in the super rare event when people do tolerate me i isolate myself because i have crippling social anxietyand im not the only one either which makes me feel worse even on this subreddit i feel guilty that i cant help all these peoplei can usually think my way out of most problems but i have no answer i have no solution to my problems or others i want to vanish but if i wont kill myself i dont want to die it would hurt like hell and deeply upset my family they care about me but they wont and couldnt help me i dont resent them for that they have their own problemsi want to be able to say this is what i should do this is what we should all do but i have no answer i just feel like shit and i feel guilty watching the world around me disintegrate every day the world gets worse more cruel more tragic i have no reason to be hopeful so i just sink inward and pray for something to change or for my problem to fix itself but i know it wonti know the only way to fix my life and to do something about the myriad issues that face my family and community and world is to pull myself up by the bootstraps but im afraid and sunk so far into complacency and despair that it takes so much more than i can possibly give,3.0
30013,beginning to enjoy lazy town  oh dear ,2.0
30014,good morning ,0.0
30015,holy fuck i am scared the handle of my bedroom door broke off and i cant get out  the only thing i have in here is me and my laptop,2.0
30016,followfriday my twitter favorites  sexythinker susanmontgomery luckypenny mattstri theredrecruiter creed  you are awesome,0.0
30017,things still the same hope they change soon  frustrated outta my mind  what am i to do,2.0
30018,mamudoon im a pretty lame guy and am going to have to back out of visiting i slept on it and realized i have to do super on my exams ,2.0
30019,home tired and feeling yuk  early night me thinks,2.0
30020,its my birthday i guess so my birthdays coming up next week and i feel like it should mean something to me but it really doesnt im turning seventeen but i dont feel like i am i wasnt supposed to make it here i wasnt even supposed to get to sixteen but i did and now i dont know what to do because i never planned this far im supposed to be dead and maybe i am because i know for a fact that i am not living if anything im just existing ever since seventh grade ive been sure that id take my life and that hasnt changed my entire life is a blur i cant remember my childhood i cant remember the last time i was genuinely happy i cant remember yesterday everything i do feels pointless all i feel anymore is empty i dont have the energy to be suicidal anymore im too bored to sleep or when i do somehow get myself to sleep i only sleep around an hour or two before waking up again i stare at my walls for hours on end numb im too exhausted to be angry or sad i cant cry the only way i can think to describe it is being dormant suicidal im not actively trying to die but if there was a gun in front of me right now i wouldnt hesitate to pull the trigger every year delays the inevitable im alone and i always have been ive given up on myself and so has everyone elseso well happy birthday to me i guess heres to another year of torturing myself until i finally cant take it anymore,3.0
30021,a relapse is so bitter sweet and the use of bitter is very literal lol i was clean for about  months mayseptember still smoked weed and cigarettes and drank every night but i kept my hands off my two demons adderall and xanax i took some vyvanse like two weeks ago which quickly jumped to adderall and if im doing adderall why not xanax while im at it it is my favorite after all ive probably spent the past two weeks passing out early cause im so barred out and drunk i distinctively remember a couple times being too fucked up to kill myself no matter how much i begged myself to get up and do it starting to eat into my school work which is a whole another mess other than my substance abuse problem im trying my hardest not to fail out of my second university but im headed into my fifth week of the semester and strugglingall of this culminates into where i am currently its  im coked up out of mind and drunk as hell i copped an eight ball two days ago and i finished what was probably a gram of coke tonight  and honestly i feel great i spent the day in my classes convinced i was gonna end it all tonight i kinda figured the cocaine would give me the motivation and energy to end it all because recently the xans have been putting me to sleep before i realize it but nope im feeling real largeso sorry if this reads like a long ramble from a deranged person i just want to put this somewhere and my mind is racing i also apologize if it seems like im glorifying drugs way too much and especially if i trigger someone who is also struggling with rehabilitation this is a tough journey and im sure im gonna regret this when im sober but for now something feels rightif anyone wants to chat for the next hour or two id enjoy some human interaction,3.0
30022,kristydm awwww mann i wish u were here too thats kinda sad coz i wouldnt c u wit blakehealy  u honestly r the cutest couple,2.0
30023,colleencantwell ,2.0
30024,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
30025,katinator at least youre not fifty like the old guy  ,0.0
30026,excited as only  exams to go  x x,0.0
30027,niteguardianx i dont have anymore yet  ,2.0
30028,hey people  years old guy here at a really dark place right now it is going to be long but goddamn i am hurting so much where do i start i have been that negative kid all my life my all childhood memories pretty much are related to me being either sad or grumpyi am lost i feel angry and sad all the time i am angry at everything and everybody i am ambitious and lazy at the same time i feel like i will never be a shit in lifei am never satisfied with myself goddamn i hate myself so muchfeel like people dont understand me maybe they do but i still think the opposite this especially applies to my loving parents i am a shitty son too i feel empty when i hangout with my friends not like i have many friends i avoid people sometimes i crave attention i crave social interaction other times i wanna be all alone i have been pretty lonely lately nobody likes me they never did and never will i suck at everything i do i watch youtube a lot i realised it numbs my pain i forget about myself for some time but then start selfloathing when i go back to reality because i wasted a lot of time you have no reason to be depressed  its just your personality  then i am cursed as no matter how hard i try i cannot change myself rarely  when i accomplish something big  i feel alive i feel confident i feel attractive amazing few hours then poof back to the normali feel overwhelmed overwhelmed by everythingmy dad has changed a lot he is a great guy but his work wore him out now he gets aggressive  never physically  pretty quickly and will never listen to us  when it comes to his health behavior plans he never listens to our advice  and we are right all the time my mom a great woman is pretty busy with my terminally ill grandma so you understand atmosphere is not particularly pleasant you are too neutral you only love yourself you will never change  you are always in your universe you are very ungrateful you have no reason to be depressed my family keeps telling me what do they want from me i hate myself i am hurting i am in pain and they constantly expect attention from me sometimes i wanna end it all maybe i would do a favour that way buti wouldnt kill myself as first of all i dont have balls second i would not want to hurt my parents nobody besides them gonna be sad others will either dont give a shit or be happy and i would never want to make those bastards happy but how do i deal with myself how do i start living again i am consciously wasting my precious moments and can do nothing about it ,3.0
30029, how strange do you know why if not maybe it was by accidentorit was definately their loss ,0.0
30030,is home after a night on the wash in the green evo ,0.0
30031,bryan had a solid finish today in wisconsin state rr  i watched from the feedzone ,2.0
30032,officialnjonas hiya ,0.0
30033,sore thumbs from playing patapon  ,2.0
30034,i just want to fucking end it all i tried to kms about  ago and its come back harder despite having friends who will listen i feel worthless and like i dont deserve anyhmthijg i have because im a horrible toxic person i just want to take my own life and have it all over with it feels selfish but i dont care i just want to end the pain sorry needed a rant so i didnt go grab a knife instead,3.0
30035,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
30036,i dont think that salad i had for dinner was too fresh not feeling so hot ,2.0
30037,jgdemas  is that a john lennon avatar coolmiss him ,2.0
30038,its so sad that your favorite youtuber who inspired you is now quitting youtube,1.0
30039,is very blah today ,2.0
30040,waiting for pizzahut delivery aah im so hungry ,0.0
30041,davidarchie watch this  please reply  love u,2.0
30042,another day fighting  and missing benampjerrys free cone day due to lectures ,2.0
30043,while a met pete harnisch was treated for depression a way bigger deal in the  sports world than it is now,1.0
30044,pretty crappy day so far and ive missed both memorial services because i dont check this thing all the time  ,2.0
30045, true true im writing atm trying  b coherent about the last  yrsampstring narratives through it but my meats rotting nicely ,0.0
30046,pamjob hiya im looking after  ,0.0
30047,durrtyb ahh thanks i forgot about dat one ,0.0
30048,drninjaphd read about it was looking forward to pie ,2.0
30049,extreme boredom hiive been feeling depressed for a couple of years with ups and downs it happened after a breakup with my gf ive been living with  years ive never seeked professional help as its expensive and my condition isnt life threatening i just feel bored all the time and dont get any interest in anything new or that i enjoyed nor anyone friends or family i dont feel particularly sad though i do get melancholic sometimes for no reason i cant find enjoyable videogames anymore or good series i exercise regularly eat healthily which might be the only thing i still enjoy got a full checkup with doctors i have some chronic medical conditions that are just discomforting tinnitus headaches jaw and back muscle tension painim soon to be graduated as a software engineer currently carrying out my last internship i fight to go through every day and come home to feel exhausted with nothing interesting to do im an entp personality and usually get energized by being with people so ive been thinking of getting a room mate ive given guitar lessons during my studies to make some money but i dont feel like i can get any better now i have lots of ideas of projects apps games songs  but i lack the motivation to realize them im thinking of just dumping them somewhere on the internet in case someone else has the opportunity to make them come true  ive been travelling abroad for  months and got home  months ago im thinking of leaving again after i get my diploma anyway i guess lots of people here have beenare feeling the same so how do you cope with it,3.0
30050,rt kanchangupta sad fact is that increasingly executive wants judiciary to direct lawmaking so that government can say our hands were t,1.0
30051,happy birthday crystalaniela i love you to pieces sorry i couldnt make it the other day but may all of your wishes come true ,0.0
30052,i feel left out of this question cuz ive never seen them live  mcrchat,2.0
30053,ive been feeling pretty good about my art lately but everytime i share it online every social medias algorithm is ,0.0
30054,watchin tv ,0.0
30055,finished shooting the event just in time for an engagement shoot on the beach its sooo beautiful out ,0.0
30056,abstreetteam awesome an asher book street team  great ,0.0
30057,trying to figure how to drag the awfully boring story longer for my homework ,2.0
30058,is at home finally and going to bed goodnight ,0.0
30059,rt allouratoms the most gender sexuality race religion mental health inclusive show quite possibly ever and you bloody cancel it wh,1.0
30060,alaina went to waterloo  lost island water park and had a blast with a friend for her birthday  sun burn face and all ,0.0
30061,tanning topless on my balcony always gives me the worst anxiety but im on the third floor,2.0
30062,six hour shoot knees are bruised amp im exhausted but i feel so accomplished had lots of luck today ,0.0
30063,eeeyouareeye   when do you get your rims and hydraulics ,0.0
30064,i feel like nobody knows im here i feel forgotten its probably just in my head but i feel alone i feel empty and invisible to everyone,3.0
30065,just found a nintendo stars code for mario bros  on gba shame it isnt valid any more ,2.0
30066,starting abilify need reassurance my depression has gone almost untreated for about  years ive tried very few meds im starting abilify tomorrow and almost too afraid to because ive read it causes extreme hunger and weight gain and i struggle with an eating disorder i dont think gaining weight is going to help my depression all i think id rather not take them has anyone had experience with abilify and how has it affected your appetite and weight please let me know,3.0
30067,squarespace i will lose ,2.0
30068,getting blood taken out  i hate needles,2.0
30069,seniors please join us for your baccalaureate mass tonight  and stay for lifenight ,0.0
30070,exit plan my life came to a screeching halt about a year ago and i have lost all concern for my own well being and have only stuck around to get to know my niece and nephew even this i hate myself for because i know my final goal could leave them with questions and confusiondepression self hatred and disillusionment with life has always been there my personality isnt even my own i just leech one off of whoever i am around no stable relationships ruined any possible friendships and have damaged anyone i have ever come in contact withoddly this behavior has actually gotten me to see and do more in my life than many others i know everything except the one dream i can actually remember having when i was a child that dream is the signal and last thing i intend to experience before exiting,3.0
30071,watching old dance videos aww its going to be so sad to leave danzmode boo hoo ,2.0
30072,depression and binge eating i havent looked in the mirror in  months i havent washed myself in a week i cant stand to feel my bodyi havent cleaned my room in months my floor has not been mopped for this whole yearall i do is  sleep  hours a day and order junk fodd with uber eats an sleep again ive gained over  in less than a year none of my clothes fit i wear the same thing everyday and havent washed it in months when im in my dorm i wrap myself with my bed sheets since nothing fits i cant look at myself in the mirror last year this time i was running half marathons feeling most confident ive ever felt weighing in at my lowest at  and eating healthy and enough calories no starving this is my  time  depressed at  and the worst its been my sister passed  years ago and shes the only one who would have understood my parents know i developed the courage to tell them but they havent done anything its doesnt make sense to them i guessim tired of crying everyday guys i cant do this anymore i worked so hard to lose twenty kgs  years ago and dig myself out of this ditch i promised myself to never get back in it here i find myself again and it worse than ever,3.0
30073,arggghh im scared of thunder ,2.0
30074,majorly bored  only  months to go till college whoop whoop,2.0
30075,dont kill yourself today dont kill yourself todaybecause your netflix trial still has a week leftdont kill yourself todaybecause no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridgedont kill yourself todaybecause i know for a fact that starbucks is releasing a new frappuccino sometime next monthyes your mother will miss youyes your bully will make a sappy facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you wereand yessuicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problemyou know thatyouve known thateveryone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meantso dont kill yourselfuntil you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same timedont kill yourselfuntil doctor who is finally cancelleddont kill yourselfuntil you tell someone your best pasta recipe dont kill yourself because i will keep coming up with reasons for you not toand i need youto hear all of themdont kill yourselfi love youyoure importantits a bad daynot a bad lifethere is more to thisthe world will keep spinning on its axis without youbutthink of all the sunrises youd missi know this sounds pointlessbut when youre sitting in front of everything deadly you ownrevising your goodbyesthere will be too much darkness to see anything elsebut this is not about seeing anything elsethis is about turning off the lightsthis is about finding the bed instead of the noosethis is about giving yourself one more dayeven if it takes ten thousand of thoseone more morningsuntili cant wait for tomorrowthis is about staying alivebecause theres gonna be a new marvel movieno one should miss thatthis is about staying alivebecause the future is coming and its ready for youi don t need you to see iti just need you to believe you can make it until then hannah dains,3.0
30076,depression loneliness and relationships whether its some sort of biological symptom or because being depressed leads to feelings of alienation and isolation depression and loneliness is often linked togetherfor me personally i have chronic depression thats very painful and debilitating my life has been a wreck for the last  years because of so basically my whole adult existence it seems a core component of why im depressed is due to the lack of social connection the feelings of constantly being lonely and not belonging in the world feeling as if i dont fit in and a sense of hopelessness regarding ever not being lonelyive learned that intimate relationships seems to be the best thing to ease the pain that i feel from depression ive become quite promiscuous because of so seeking out risky sexual encounters even though quite consistently i end up feeling more depressed afterwards because of this baggage and the strong destructive thoughts and feelings involved with depression ive not been able to maintain a romantic relationship with someone ive courted dozens of people over the last decade and theyve all pretty much abandoned me due to reasons related to my depression which fuels a sense of hopelessness and depressionat this point in time i question my ability to maintain relationships with others everyone seems to end up hurting me but i also know that if i dont have social interaction if i spend all my time inside my bedroom for weeks or months on end without interacting my mental health will deteriorate and ill feel more pain essentially im trapped i cannot escape this pain theres no hope in doing so and im left to wonder what path would be best to take that would minimise the pain i experiencemaybe i should try to make nonintimate friends ive never been good with this i havent been able to really click with anyone as an adult feel too different like i just dont belong anywhere ive been trying to go out pushing myself to attend social events to make friends as an introvert whos riddled with anxiety these events are not fun i dont enjoy going out to socialise with people i burn up with anxiety and often have breakdowns afterwards but i figure i need to push myself problem is the people who are found at these events tend to be more adjusted people people who enjoy going to these events i feel worse being around such healthy adjusted people who have lives outside their bedrooms and achieve things with it reinforces this perception that im some hopeless loser that doesnt belong and it hurtsat this point in time i just dont know what to do have any of you guys got similar experiences or wish to offer any feedback,3.0
30077,michflowers yes im talking about you my little sister ,0.0
30078,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
30079,very very tired ,0.0
30080,its  just got home from and im in bed i could seriously sit and talk with them for hours love em ,0.0
30081,i miss yuukicherry so bad hope shell be home soon ,2.0
30082,sheriffclarke realdonaldtrump come on man this lady needs to retireits obvious she just isnt up to the task ,0.0
30083,finally going to sleep getting up early for opening day in san francisco ,0.0
30084,home to sleep in my own bed  yay,0.0
30085,omg i feel asleep and thats me just up now  whats everyone upto   x,0.0
30086,rt donladglover be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
30087,when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel httpstcoqcpoalhtzk,1.0
30088,should i seek help how can i stick with it the worst is that i feel like im an impostor i think i really should seek a specialists help im  now went to a psychiatrist when i was  i was diagnosed with ocd anxiety and depression quit the treatment after  months ive only met that psychiatrist  times because i felt i couldnt trust him and i felt like i was disappointing my mother she kind of bullied me into quiting everytime i was speaking to the doctor i felt like crying and couldnt say much it felt like swallowing a piece of quince couldnt continue to speak i was cutting myself at that time but managed to stop it for some time things didnt get better or worse just continued living until  when i had many suicidal thoughts and started self harming again it reached its peak in december when i went again to another psychiatrist but again i couldnt tell him much saw him just once he gave me some pills and i quited again now it starts again i just want it to end i still fear disappointing my mother shes a good woman and i love her but she doesnt understand how can i talk to someone without bursting in tears i feel that i postponed it too much,3.0
30089,cindyscottday lol however this might be a good day to watch kindergarten cop  arnie at his playfulbest with little kids,0.0
30090,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
30091,i hear que pasa closed and now im crying the best burritos in the world are gone ,2.0
30092,drag me to hell arent as scary as i thoughtdisappointing ,2.0
30093,i hate waking up two minutes before my alarm is to go off its like my body knows it pisses me off and has a vengeance towards me ,2.0
30094,tired of feeling so sad,2.0
30095,waiting till roblox or telemon opens ehh the gift because mehh have present ,0.0
30096,sorabu   were gonna miss you too galletita ,2.0
30097,kinda sad i will be missing wearephoenix tonight i will be at the cabooze ,2.0
30098,camilo y evaluna ya casándose y yo no encuentro ni la pareja de mis medias que sad,2.0
30099,rt  eu já sou sad se eu for reprovada já no  bimestre serei  mais sad ,2.0
30100,my room is too hot always i had a well good lie in today ,0.0
30101,jgrunsthecity ,2.0
30102,jessrosegriffin we should do that again soon ,0.0
30103,i want tommcfly s reply im sad please love reply me im so sad today almost crying  by mandyggt,2.0
30104,even the bots are unfollowing me am i that boring ,2.0
30105,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
30106,alyssamilano hahaha thats true but you can trust that i am tweeting myself  lol,0.0
30107,ummmm rip to micheal jasmine step dad ,2.0
30108,miss him for sure i already do  so ya he is close bye thought,2.0
30109,feeling apathetic and unable to see a future for myself as the title says i dont feel anything not for anyone not for myself i cant see a future past the next day im very seriously contemplating suicide as life doesnt really seem to bringing me any joy or spark this hasnt stemmed from anything i have spent the last  months since about novemberdecember really thinking it over and feeling that this is the correct choice my friends family and boyfriend are unaware of this life is dull the only thing keeping me from that final decision is deciding how i would do it because i dont want to traumatize someone else by them finding me i dont know why im posting this ,3.0
30110,im awake trying to see the end of the first  but my man went to bed and i do not like being awake by myself this is not normal ,2.0
30111,rt lindberghaquino malapit na talaga mag start ang stress,2.0
30112,my little dogs having surgery now  i dont get to see her until late tonight,2.0
30113,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
30114,heartmileycyrus hahaha yess  please follow my  wonderful cousins  and   and supportmadison  i made this ,0.0
30115,rt zippittt i have serious concerns about your driving you admit to constantly speeding will you end up killing a child  a cyclist,1.0
30116,fixed my camera problem they were on the sd card as hidden files why did that happen ,2.0
30117,trying to figure out what twitter is for ,2.0
30118,anniviech that happened to me once very unpleasant indeed ,2.0
30119,futuremrsklaehn i eat outside all the time you are welcome to stop by work any day and eat with me super quick to get here via  ,0.0
30120,ptvmike   cute ass ,0.0
30121,great weekend bbq camping and mates only let downstorrential rain while camping and eating too much meat guts are in agreement ,2.0
30122,rt jewelzjess he passed out next to me because he knows my mental health is deteriorating and i needed some comfort ,1.0
30123,awwww my neighbor is having practice for her quinceanera right now that was a decade ago for me fk im gettin old ,2.0
30124,i cant fall asleeeep   tiff needs to hurry up and come home so i can go back in my room amp sleep instead of the floor,2.0
30125,infinight i like ,2.0
30126,i just made pasta tuna cucumber peppers sweet chilli sauce balsamic vinegar and hunnnners of pepper it was shite ,2.0
30127,jeffpulver  hi to you jeff the conference looks like its picking up steam ,0.0
30128, thanks happy to be part of the quotmarxist wackadoodlequot collective ,0.0
30129, your english is pretty good  and its not my first language either so no worries ohhh holidays cant wait to have one hehe,0.0
30130,helenmirren saw phedre on friday it was brillant great performance hoping to see it again in august ,0.0
30131,sick  going home as soon as my daddy comes back from the dmv and pick me up  work,2.0
30132,signed up for my quotnewquot coarse in college  healthenglish and math  no music ,2.0
30133,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
30134,i hate when its sunny with spring come longer days and the sun comes out of the cloudy sky people are so happy and theres this implicit rule that people have to come out and enjoy the sunwhat if we cant  spring and summer are always tough for me because they remind me how disconnected i am from the rest of my friends and people in general its like the gap keeps getting largeri love winter because the days are shorter and when its dark no one wants to go outside its like everyone is in hibernation mode and it makes my life more bearable to myselfhow do you feel when spring comes  ,3.0
30135, i bought  packs of kool aid today one of each flavour  ill let you know how it goes ,0.0
30136,franss wow ,0.0
30137,strawz because multiple coloured hair is just that trendy and awesome ,2.0
30138,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
30139,jealousy  i keep coming across people who are younger than me from age  but are  times better at everything i want to do and be and i could only dream of being where they are right now and it frustrates me so much i get super jealous and just want to give up entirely on everything i want to curl up into a ball and just die i cant avoid these situations however ill just click on something that interests me through to my hobbies and ill see something like im  afterwards and i get hit with sadness this really badly affects my motivation and mental health as i truly believe im not good at anything and everyone else is miles ahead of me and ill never be any good  any ideas or tips on dealing with this,3.0
30140,dragonbirdy nah cant just got really technical stuff i need to concentrate on ,2.0
30141,morning everyone time for a coffee today our recording booth will get a carpet then its production ready another topic off the list ,0.0
30142,daniashley thanks love  im totally happythe bumps just make it a more worthwhile ride im totally smitten ampamp loven it,0.0
30143,back  eating popcorn,0.0
30144,natalietejeda aah good you got it foot in mouth for ever doubting your greatness ,0.0
30145,rt vegalteno learn fm my wife wisdom amp advice that have kept families together amp when u like itretweet women orgs get  httpstcor,0.0
30146,xokassy no way doing to the dentist tomorrow   i think i wont be able to eat amp talk for a day or something  ouch,2.0
30147, just bashin everything i like tonight ,2.0
30148,bryancheung heh i finished platinum already with nothing to do now ,2.0
30149,whenever i get into darker thoughts i feel like an incel and then that makes me feel worse lol when it was untreated and i didnt have a psychiatrist early in high school  year iirc i was just a total piece of shit totally judgmental of my female friends and just resented everybody move forward always but i just kinda go back to thinkin about how i was and it upsets me im glad i dont blame other people for my problems my only huge issue is percieving myself to be ugly sorry maniac ramblings,3.0
30150, yes think that way positive thinking will get you to places ,0.0
30151,kweenib how old r u well its here now so just give it yall ,0.0
30152,just help i just keep feeling terrible i just want to leave earth die i want to die but i dont want to kill myself i need some motivation or anonymous help,3.0
30153,azizijones nooooo bring the controversy back ,2.0
30154,amberbenson if it was in va i would definatly be there but alas the plane tix would kill me i am a starvin artist  but i love my fam ,2.0
30155,going to watch  probably be bck in de night or   peace ,0.0
30156,helllllo june what crazy adventures do you have in store for me this month ,0.0
30157,zenmonkey planning to  our days are crampacked and the stuff im taking to make sure i make it is plentiful  ,0.0
30158,lets see whats on the calendar for today oh yeah study ,2.0
30159,i missed you anthony my only follower is back ,0.0
30160,openheartdesign we used to see foxes when we lived in target range too and i miss them they were so cute ,0.0
30161,billmcintosh i agree great products but that doesnt  responsible application of power  looking forward to tomorrows show ,0.0
30162,dontforgetlaura wow ö youre my hero you must be really strong if you can lose that much wish i was more like you too ,0.0
30163,yeah finally ive done my midterm project of internet english ,0.0
30164,i want a hair cut but my mom wont cut it ,2.0
30165,juliedessler yep  its soooooo boring and i need to revise for history coz i have loads to revise for thatplus its boring ,2.0
30166,sunburned but thats ok  reading my book being a bum  love it,0.0
30167,with megan and jen  andyclemmensen ,0.0
30168,rt standupkid guys if we dont take care of our mental health we cant be the dads we could be should be and want to be gett ,0.0
30169,go baristas first wins take them to the semi finals now we know the dream team ,0.0
30170,moved back home ,0.0
30171,jonathanrknight youre so gorgeous ,0.0
30172,had to leave work early ugh i hate it when this happens i work at a banking call center and ever since i woke up today i woke up not feeling good mentally to start with and as the work day went on things got worse i had trouble breathing and focusing and felt a strong sense of terror i finally gave up after  hours and left for the day with the way the company works i might get fired for this but honestly maybe it would be a gift if i was fired ,3.0
30173,lakers are beasts  bye,0.0
30174,rt thehoustonastro yall wcw under  sad 💅🏿,2.0
30175,nickolaimathews and no no tea party  but there was cake involved ,2.0
30176,really really hopes you say yes  positive energy,0.0
30177,alrdybntakn realdonaldtrump and you are a purveyor of lies since none of those accusations are or have even been ,1.0
30178,why have i got old  while fellow okie reba hasnt  were the same age at the moment ,2.0
30179,argh am sian of doing work already something else to do pls pls pls ,2.0
30180,got a holeinone miniputting last night too bad the penguins were being murdered all the while ,2.0
30181, i better not say what i was going toi have a feeling my poor taste is giving msleaves headaches ,2.0
30182,androidtomato alright ill go home ill stand by the mailbox tomorrow  ,0.0
30183,i just wanna sleep in like tommy ugh too bad ,2.0
30184,bruv theres a perv on the forumm  loooooool,2.0
30185,worst fight scene ever  h� h�   ,0.0
30186, hugs tight well lets stop wallowing and start doing its hard but we can do it ,0.0
30187,my monster is finished i want another one ,2.0
30188,pjhelliar join the queueno one does ,2.0
30189,wandawidth cool website love shoes ,0.0
30190, we wish we were there this flu sucks ,2.0
30191,alexgzz thanks deja lo reviso ,0.0
30192,going to work in my new car ,0.0
30193,doombox come visit the us is awesome  andyhurleyday,0.0
30194,  hiya i know how you feel  what you up to,2.0
30195,midsummerdeath i am gonna try that chinese poetry itstartswithnic lol gurlfriend chill sarahroxannesim dnw k stew ,2.0
30196,  jk yo,0.0
30197,ccrouleau that sucks  tomorrow im on until  next saturday im  and i dont know about next sunday yet every other day im ,2.0
30198,im depressed and i feel alone  i just lost my job my dog brutis died i know cliche but he was my best and only friendand my fiance left me all in the past three months  i feel like its all falling apart and i have no one to reach out to except reddit im sorry if this isnt the place for this and honestly i dont even know why im typing this but iv been rationalizing suicide more and more and that scares the hell out of me what should i do i dont have money to pay someone to tell me im sad and i refuse pills,3.0
30199,finish watching hannah montana  mileycyrus rocks come to malaysia,0.0
30200,nakedgenheledd clarehanbury thanks for the rt clare ,0.0
30201,this sucks i started cutting last week i told some of my support group and they are upset with me i have them take my knives when i think i can control it but i still cut before they take them now i dont want them to worry about me so id rather be in pain and sorrow then get the help i need i go to some friends and they ignore my calls and get other people this is so mentally daunting that everything would be better if i was gone,3.0
30202,rt mavisaclidev me my life is going so good im so happy right nowmy anxiety and depression ,1.0
30203,jus sayin  go buy one of their overpriced plastic raincoats while ya can u get over the nugs depression last night,0.0
30204,geting bored of being at home so dont like vacations ,2.0
30205,trying to focus on some reading cant maintain concentration  i think im going to struggle this week,2.0
30206,calwisen um love it thanks  do you have the cd yet i plan on stealing it from austin,0.0
30207, youtubee,0.0
30208,davidbarrie the bitly link to eco artists  not working ,2.0
30209,for a friend i know this is the httpswwwredditcomrdepressionhelp subreddit but this post isnt really about me not sure if thats allowed in terms of posting on here but its my first post so please be lenienti have a friend probably knew her for around  years so farim not sure why but i feel i can be more open to myself on here compared to in real life but anyways i will be honest and say that being the adolescent that i am at first i thought she was beautiful and shared some of the same hobbies as i do so i became friends with her and have enjoyed this relation to this day over the years we grew closer and i realized that she was struggling with her family her lifestyle anxiety and it kept growing and growing i wont go into specifics regarding these events for obvious privacy reasons but i tried through the years to let her know i was there talking through the nights to try and share the burden in the only way that a kid like myself with no car could back then texting i know that sounds pretty sad to say but theres not much more that can be done past that during high school d now as an adult with so many more opportunities available to use i still feel so powerless and useless in my attempts to try and help her no matter how many times i try to stay calm for her through her troubles when she shares them with me i always feel like im either saying gibberish and breaking down into a bunch of what if i did this thoughts after the chats at this point ive all but forgotten about my attraction to her in lieu of trying to help her through this period of her life i just love her you know shes the best derp im proud of knowing to this day and i think she deserves to live happily gt every time i try i seem to freeze up and say the worst things to say to someone in times like that not really bad stuff or anything just some awkward questions such as how are you doing when i know she is feeling terrible at the time or me just being awkward and trying to cheer her up the only way i know how instead of actually tackling the main issue over the years i tried to read books watch educational videos and personal testimonies about people suffering from depression and anxiety but it always feels like something i just cant comprehend fully to try and better assist her through these problems i just end up reverting to a person that is utterly lost no matter how much prep i do to make sure i can help heri know its a bit much to ask for those who read through this whole word block but was there any dos and donts of trying to help someone in this sort of situation anything at all personal experiences people who can relate to my situation random quips that made you or someone else feel betterfor what its worth thank you to whoever read through thissome random guy who likes taking naps,3.0
30210,freddurst yes god bless this kid i think he is really kick ass i like the guy ,0.0
30211,could my day be any worse crying at work sitting in the back not making any sales ,2.0
30212,kids discovered spotify playing the smurfen and  now ,2.0
30213,drawfour so sorry to hear that ,2.0
30214,lstintheseethru i emailed you ,0.0
30215,i am so so so so so bored of studying  really anyone got any other ideas than studying,2.0
30216, i cant quite figure out what you mean but i am assuming its something deep andor witty ,0.0
30217,is doing wii fit yoga at  because i cant sleep ,2.0
30218,whatleydude i only mention it as were both talking at next user group   check out mug shots  londroid,0.0
30219,im at my saddest right now i lost my mobile phone earphones waz feels a little incomplete and i feel the same ,2.0
30220,glamourgirlnow congrats on your speed dating hope it went well ,0.0
30221,a fictional character has ruined me repost from rmentalhealth ive been suffering from depression for a long time now for reasons people may consider to be very serious serious they were indeed so serious in fact that they were fixable only by me not a therapist ive never once considered visiting a therapist before until very recently when a rather new but embarrassing issue arose this newly found issue combined with the ones i already suffered from have left me at a point in life where suicide seems ever so appealingi wont talk about the issues that i was already suffering from because thats not were i need a therapists help the solution to them are well beyond a therapists power this however is different and ill once again say embarrassingeven with the anonymity of the internet i feel embarrassed to say this but i beg you all to take it seriouslya fictional character has destroyed me as a person initially it seemed like a case of sexual attraction and to an extent it still is ive always have had a very diverse and weird sexual preference i wont mention what that entails but homosexuality wasnt one of them well until this anomaly struck methe part were it gets bad however is that i realized i might be far more than just in love i now have an inferiority complex when before i could be considered borderline narcissistic i loved my looks my personality etc until this character shattered all of thattheir looks personality intelligence etc makes me feel like dirt i revere that character like perfection like a god incarnate now im aware fictional characters are always presented as beyond the average human indeed i always acknowledged that whenever i perceived a character i found very infatuating but here i simply cant help myself this is the first time ever a fictional character had such an effect on mei always looked at people who are infatuated with anime characters and waifus with absolute ridicule yet here i am more fanatical about it than anyone elsei dont think i can quite describe with words how awful it feels but the pain now goes beyond my mind and is having physical effects i feel filled with something every night i sometimes struggle to breathe because it feels like something is clogging up my body inside this feeling occurs whenever i fantasize about him with that same soundtrack of his playing in my head on loop i feel insanei can no longer appreciate myself not only do i want to meet him have sex with him i cant even masturbate to anything else now but i also want to be him but hes not real which leaves me with a sense of extreme longing imitating him is never enoughlike i said i had plenty problems before but this is another that worsens my already terrible situation with something so weirdis there a name for this strange conditionanyway if it helps to inform you that character is near from death note,3.0
30222,mryancey lolmy s equal out overallloli know my tweeps ,0.0
30223,cronomcgee my phone wont let me sign on ,2.0
30224,all of the above at once like i said theres probably a german word for that lol ,2.0
30225,profile shot of baby  so amazing baby was very active ,0.0
30226,siwhitehouse oh noes  sorry to hear that bab ps corsodyl though isnt that for gingivitis,2.0
30227,my birthday had a really nice day  ,0.0
30228,my  yr old just poured a whole bottle of bubbles on my laptop  so much for having  computers,2.0
30229,ima watch this shit and ima be sad as fuck but its for trayvon,2.0
30230,dropping video link again then ill stop but i really do like how it turned out  ,0.0
30231,i am slowly but surely getting there so hey i need help i really think i am going no where in this life the highs are very high but on the other hand the lows are very low i dont know what am i doing here anymore i am scared of what my mind is capable of and i really dont know what to do anymore i feel lost ,3.0
30232,ninirific yeah i saw it sweetie  nervous about showing it to him if he even sees it haha,0.0
30233,sleepy fosho today ahh today i missed my buddys grad party i hope hes not mad at me ,2.0
30234,damn cant go to muse ,2.0
30235,my henna tattoo is fading   time to get it touched up  anyone know of a good place around slc,2.0
30236,interview on wednesday  for college ,2.0
30237,i cant take it anymore i feel like im suffocating im trapped in my body and im suffocating i dont know how long i can keep this up guys ,3.0
30238,iamjericho getting something new btw you did rock long hair really good i tryed getting one but my stylist was booked today ,2.0
30239, months into our relationship she sends a text to end things and never speaks to me again ive been talking to this girl i met through a mutual friend for a few weeks now i thought we were inseparable we spent every minute of every day together and had many of the same interests for the past few weeks life has been throwing obstacles at me i lost my job recently and have been looking for another in the meantime shes been helping me here and there and honestly i think thats what took a toll on our relationship clearly she feels as if i wont get myself out of this hole so she sends me a text saying sorry things got to this point but ive been thinking and thinking and this isnt going to work and instead of having a conversation about an issue she just leaves immediately im not really sure what to think about it but it definitely hurts to think someone you love can just change their mind in a matter of days i definitely wish i had the opportunity to show her a changed version of myself within the next few weeks but she wouldnt even give me a chance to do that ive been struggling with depression since before our relationship started it had a part in the ending but i never really opened up fully to her about it she definitely knew i was going through something but constantly reassured me that she would be the only one there for me if she has too the worst part of this all is she knew how bad my situation is and not really having anyone to talk too about these type of things but she still up and left with no explanation idk i guess im just looking for ways to help cope,3.0
30240,how depression kinda screwed up my life im just writing this to vent and it might help dealing with the thoughts that are hunting me from late and i dont even know this is the right place to do so  i think my depression started in  grade or maybe   when my mom had a new friend hated me and broke me  hurted myself hated myself refuse to look at myself and i all kept i secret because i didnt want to worry anyonei used to think for ways to kill myself without anyone missing me school already went bad but the real problem came when i went to high school since i was diagnosed with autisme they blamed all my consecration issues motivation issues and me always looking down and everything else to autism  and i thought it too since i didnt even know what depression was so except from the help i needed i got send to special schools and eventually i quit school since i was a hopeless nothing they tried could help me after a time my mom left him got a friend that kind likes me but my depression still havent left since i have diplomas since i didnt finish schoolthinking back i regret not cutting myself might even got the help i needed and after a while i accepted it and it went better until now im now  and i feel like i missed a impotent part of my life when i look at my facebook i see old classmates talking about school experiences getting in relationshipsnever even felt love im such a poor excuse of a man life sucks and it will only get worse when i get older,3.0
30241,with quotmookquot my place about to have a  lil nouvou with some sushi and ofcourse movie night ,0.0
30242,stuck at dentists yesterday for  hrs and the kindle battery was indeed dead  verrry long day,2.0
30243,if cavs loose this game ill be walking around the rest of the night with my lips poked out ,2.0
30244,oh the hangover why do i get talked into going out on a work night  httpbitlyjioxly,2.0
30245,andrewfrizzell i missed your birfday didnt i ,2.0
30246,getting a freezapop with jessicachambers and she beat me in our twitterrr race  a,2.0
30247, thats how i feel too but have no experience w talking about exes only quotlatesquot ,0.0
30248,why do i still miss my ex she would get drunk and tell me how worthless and useless i am she would tell me that id never find another girlfriend once she left me the joke of it all is that she left me because she felt i was starting to hate her i was i deserve better than that i wasnt always the best i missed being there for her sometimes because it is so hard to have the energy for others when i barely want to live but i was still there the one time we were able to have a date night she invited her friend along and decided to skip our plans and told me if i couldnt afford to bar hop with them i could go home i dont understand why im broken by this i know i deserve better i just dont know how to convince myself thats true,3.0
30249,jorgylicious  we were able to watch it but we wanna replay it  my fams in bohol right now im jealous ,2.0
30250,i miss having my own computer  ,2.0
30251,harlemhearted so agreedont you want to go to hawaii nowbut only with the simmons fam ,0.0
30252,off to do a photoshoot for tigerbeat then young hollywood awards ,0.0
30253,danny please come home i cant sleep without you ,2.0
30254,myogis woo hoo just chop off the end part  thanks,0.0
30255,anyone else think of ways to die and not think much of it i was driving  in the highway and thought if i just crashed this car to a tree everything would be over and  i would no problems left and ill be free,3.0
30256,bkgirlfriday were the ppl in the next store watching him thru a  mirror ,0.0
30257,i want a tribal bracelet like in my marie claire magazine but its like  and im in the uk ,2.0
30258,billyraycyrus yeee doggies ,0.0
30259,feel like i can do nothing right ive felt like my whole life is a series of failures failed two classes this year i still dont know what im doing with my life and am constantly pressured by my parents to have a plan and look for internships and i recently fucked everything up with a girl i liked and she played with my mind and now i cant stop thinking about her and all my failures had to go back home from school to try and get my mind right and i just feel worse and now have to go back to school just feels like every decision i make is the wrong one and nothing can go right,3.0
30260,celebrated a birthdayunbelievable that another year has flown by saw sign that only  days left of schoolwork until summer sox sweep ,0.0
30261,petewentz you guys put on the best show ive ever seen by far i saw you in san jose on this tour it was epic greatness  fob is my f ,0.0
30262, yummmm make sure u leave some  me im home cleaning up working mad hard ,2.0
30263,last day of school and im like a river ,2.0
30264,dropped tom off at the greyhound station   bright side melissabeth is here tomorrow ,2.0
30265,come on sir alan pick kate ,0.0
30266,cutting my hair ,2.0
30267,another day same as the days gone same as the days to come ,2.0
30268,missing agape this morning    don miguel ruiz is speaking  damn,2.0
30269,marlisekarlin yes yes  ask and you will be given the answer i mean at those moments when we are just present we receive the answer,0.0
30270,ddlovato that sounds awesome i thought that youd be at the mtv music awaards ,2.0
30271,has energy drinks every helped you guys i just finished my work day today like many other days i was feeling depressed and lacked motivation and more importantly energy i used an energy drink as i have before to help get through the last two hoursanyone else here have any success with them,3.0
30272,my chow dog of  yrs baby passed away a few hours ago very sad  we took one last walk around our neighborhood ill miss her a lot,2.0
30273,i hate waking up and college is a never ending nightmare i just want to rant ive been in a loop for the last  years i feel like my life has been on a standstill after i graduated from high school college is a nightmare i just want to end but i keep withdrawing from classes cutting class going to class late and even at the worst for two semesters i did not go at all and got all fs i have made so many pathetic attempts to cover my ass with sorry excuses to the professors and now i photoshop medical notes that i got three years ago today i set my alarm to  am to study for an exam i have today but i have a habit of deleting the alarm and sleeping in until  i keep telling myself tomorrow ill change and that day comes and i repeat the same behavior that has kept me in this loop that has left me very upset at myself im turning  soon and even if i were to be able to somehow change the behavior ive been having and power through the rest of my academics ill be in school for two more years  credits per semester it drives me crazy but i know the change can only come from within myself im just writing this in between photoshopping a medical note that i am trying to send to my professor to have a retake of a retake exam i feel really pathetic each time i do it i tell myself this is the last time and that spills into the next year and my new years resolution would be ill be more honest i dont need to cover my ass anymore with lies at this point if nothing changes i dont see myself as a functioning adult i would definitely not want to hire me over the last  years ive worked at  different places that says a lot i just want to run away sometimes most days i wake up and feel sad and just keep throwing the blanket over my head until almost noon i get my ass out of bed ,3.0
30274,i cant stop touching my shaved head ,2.0
30275,dj loki is on now take that celtics lakers chuck dane cook star trek demons survivor wee wwwwoodyradiocom she kicks my ss  show her luv,0.0
30276,ah the great outdoors ,0.0
30277,im one of the only mf that respects girl code that shit sad,2.0
30278,i want to start an online business but dunno how ,2.0
30279,needs more followers  help,2.0
30280,gmornin off to work again ,2.0
30281,watching a movie and missing her best friendd thats in north carolinaa ,2.0
30282,literature recommendations hi random question i used to enjoy reading but now with depression its hard to concentrate and the words tend to just fly over my head i was wondering if any of you know some preferably classic literature that is not too convoluted or densely written and that could therefore be more manageable for me to read i tend to prefer introspectivepsychological stuffokay thats all ciao,3.0
30283,yamstersg yes then the world will finally know what is going on withing the scottish bus network  ,0.0
30284,woke up sunshine new hair colour dad nice day ,0.0
30285,wow disregard the twitters from earlier tonight ,0.0
30286,hmmm thinking about going and getting a gun license and then buying a gun,3.0
30287,never fearne and reggie on radio  one or the other ,2.0
30288,rt eienaivarez im a gay female minority so anxiety and depression are my two best friends its getting real httpstcostokgenetr,1.0
30289,is still waiting ,2.0
30290,lovelylady weird fuse workin up here ,2.0
30291,mitchelmusso oh how i wish i lived close enough to come ,2.0
30292,its not the minor inconvenience that makes me want to die much of the time to an outsider it can feel like we get upset about the tiniest little things im a substitute teacher and today i got really down about the fact that class was supposed to start and the door to my class assignment still wasnt unlocked that pretty much sent me down low again and im back to feeling how i almost always feel what i realize though is that its not the minor inconvenience that sends me back into feeling like crap its the fact that those things stop me from running away from my anxieties and making me face them which brings on the depression whatever minor thing that forces me to stop and think makes all the things ive been running from catch up to me and its the weight of it all social anxiety from working as a sub the fact that it pays next to nothing and im in a huge amount of debt the debt preventing me from striking out on my own and continuing to live at home with my parents that crushes me not the fact that the door is locked im reminded of that scene in the matrix reloaded where neo is flying really fast across the city and there are dozens of cars flying behind him from the sheer speed hes going thats me and those cars are my anxieties the second he stops those cars would overwhelm him and anything that makes me stop gives all of that baggage im running away from a chance to overwhelm me,3.0
30293,cinderella is a nickname my full name is faithful in english  and of course dbsk is my forever love,0.0
30294,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
30295,now i gots me some gummy bears ,0.0
30296, i know its almost  in la but im not sure what city youre inanywaysgoodmorning to you ,0.0
30297,xthehappyemox haha were gonna be like super emo hardcore accousticpiano accoustic guitar and electric guitar ,0.0
30298,no hot water in the house for the rest of our stay  ,2.0
30299,is surprised lleyton isnt putting up much of a fight ,2.0
30300,im just tired im so tired of existing and not living theres really no other words to describe my life i cant get out of bed iv got no one to talk to my mind wont turn off i just want to sleep and not wake up,3.0
30301,i recently found out of my depression i recently found out that have been severely depressed for the past  years of my life on top of that i also learned about my bad anxiety i only realized it after a recent break up and the loss of my  year old dog i always new something was wrong but i hide it with the relationship and she always made everything better and easy which in return made her unhappy with everything i just am hurting i feel alone i just want someone to talk to male or female someone who just wants to listen someone who wants to just share things about their life i just want to feel cared about,3.0
30302,depersonalization im  ive been feeling this way for almost  months i dont even know anymore i just dont feel right everythings been cloudy i forgot what normal felt like ive had anxiety attacks about concussions i had in the past most of the anxiety went away i just want to feel normal its like im in the never ending state of cloudiness i feel empty,3.0
30303,getting ready for my friends  its going to be a nice day but tomorrow o scared,0.0
30304,frankiekillsyo chocolate chip waffles ,0.0
30305,i know a whole woman who did thisshe took poison amp almost stabbed the man and son 😧,2.0
30306,alexshook have fun on your vacay i miss you when are you coming backi want to visit you in bhem we can go to the casino ,0.0
30307,random depression i have been dealing with depression and anxiety my whole life i take meds and see someone lately i have been getting super depressed for an hour or  randomly during the day nothing really triggers it or lets me know its about to hit there is nothing really i am sad about when it happens i just feel a wave come over e and i feel really depressed demotivated and almost tunnel vision it is scary and i am not sure why it is happening or what to do about it,3.0
30308,scorching day here  summer is here early pity im up at  tomorrow for the early flight to london ,2.0
30309,i survived the harmony fair but slept alone in my tent both nights ,2.0
30310,anxiety blows one mild interaction can be enough to totally throw a person mentally amp emotionally we dont talk about this enough,1.0
30311,i cant wait for him to leave my relationship will be over at end of january long distance stuff and i want it to come now i feel empty and dead inside i cant please him like ive done before i feel no emotions just nothing ive been having a particularly difficult month not going outside not taking care of myself yet someone is here watching me while im being useless i want him to mess up so i can feel something so i can be angry and have emotions is this fucked up wishing the end of our relationship to come sooner so i can feel like a normal human being,3.0
30312,revising maths sucks ecpecially when i could be enjoying the sun ,2.0
30313,friends i have this group of online friends but none them are necessarily close to me and have their own close and best friends within or outside of the group and i dont have any best friends i tried making a joke and someone replied with okay and im fucking done im angry and suicidal now great i just said can i go one day without wanting to overdose and die and sent a meme of a guy looking at a noose and saying my time has come and went offline i think someone said omg can i join but whatever im ready to fucking kill myself fuck this shit i am no ones first choice and no one actually cares about my well being,3.0
30314,paper workspaper workspaper cuts ,2.0
30315, girlllllllllllllllllll finally ,0.0
30316,truevisiondubbz omg that wasnt funny look at his face in the pic omg that made me sad bad job mike wtf  poor k o b e ,2.0
30317,your too pretty to have depression just smile your smile is so pretty i didnt think people actually thought like that im never opening up to you again,3.0
30318,rt  anxiety and depression  timeslippedbywhile,2.0
30319,false hope i started dating a girl about  weeks ago she is living about  km from my hometown away we had alot of contact in this time we talked everyday for several hours and facetimed alot she meant that we should only date if i want it and taking it really seriously i gonna finish my college soon and told her i really want it and would move to her city about  weeks ago i met her in her hometown and we had a really good time she kissed me and gave me a real feeling of joyhope and love i havent felt that genuine feeling of hope and joy for several years here comes the plot twist she confessed me that she is still engaged with this guy which she told me she broke up  month ago she did all that dating with me because she wanted to break up soon i told her its really ok for me the whole  situation and i still want to keep in contact with her she told me that she was really looking forward to see me again and i should visit her again in her city for two days i booked a train and a hotel to meet her again and was really happy to see her tomorrow i gonna go to her hometown but she broke up contact with me  days ago because she need a little bit of time after i booked all those stuff today she said to me that we should go our own way and she wont gonna come to the meeting tomorrowi really felt happiness and joy for the first time in several years and had hope in my dark and cloudy world now my world is even darker and more painfull than it was before the snall light in mind and heart vanished i feel like im drowning and sink deeper and deeper in the darkness the air bubbles are getting less and the light vanishes slowly im starting to take my medication again just to finish my last few steps of my degree and try to get out of my bed again i feel really heavy and my mind and body are not working anymore right now in the moment i just want to die to numb this unbelievable pain,3.0
30320,last night of camping  i guess it couldnt last forever,2.0
30321,needs to accept tx as her new home and quit running away every weekend but its soooo hard ,2.0
30322,grrr jason is grounded wont see him for a while  but on the bright side six flags with aroosa khan tomorrow  ,0.0
30323,watch conan tonight ,0.0
30324,heyshanny i cant tell if thats an order or a well wish  ,0.0
30325,i have a bad back and it is killing me today  i have a hard time just walking  ,2.0
30326, thank you  i had a good one this year dh took a beautiful pic of the boys together and framed it,0.0
30327,aunt flow got me sooooo bloatedit feels like a pregnacy gon wrong ,2.0
30328,mothers depression makes me sink lower my mother has depression lots of traumatic and tragic things have happened in her life which i fully understand fuels her depression but she just wont even try to make things better she stays in her room all day in bed just watching tv we make plans shell postpone it and never follow through its been this way for years and only rarely does she venture out and do stuff and even then she complains and wants to hasten things and return home as soon as possible recently my sympathy is turning to anger i suffer myself but im trying to encourage myself and her to try and do something anything to make things better she wont even try she just doesnt seem to care anymore this has a knock on effect for me as its hard to try and be upbeat when the person im living is resigned to living in misery and essentially giving up on life i really feel i cant get better if she unintentionally is bringing me down this way but i have no resources to leave or anything like that im stuck in a horrible situation living like this i know ill probably be seen as a horrible daughter for feeling as frustrated as i am over this but its a miserable way to live and i dont know what to do,3.0
30329,  ciadaughter  marczakrob lamommusic  ,2.0
30330,sisirmalopez ok testing   you should see me on your phone now,0.0
30331,has anyone used requip to treat depression as a last resort my psychiatrist is using the restless legs drug requip to treat me treatment resistant depression i had abilify added to my ssris and it was miraculous until it wasnt,3.0
30332,drinking hot chocolate and watching the movie very funny my friends here in my house and very very fun ,0.0
30333, ok i probably underestimated the importance of belgian news  from the sun for you httptinyurlcomnmlnru,0.0
30334, looks great ,0.0
30335,enjoying the finer things in life ,0.0
30336,wants to go to cf camp so sooooo badly ,2.0
30337,mycaribbeanfood enjoy and congrats thanks for the recipe well do it tomorrow morning ,0.0
30338,gimmeanswers this is how madagascar looks like  httpwwwflickrcomgroupsmadagascarpool,0.0
30339,hanging with my baby brothers ,0.0
30340,happy friday to all wish you were here  ,0.0
30341,i feel so slow and negative talking to people is too much effort for me i guess i just kinda mumble or just agree with what the person is saying ive done nothing today and feel mentally fucked and nothing bad has happened today and im just scrolling through social media and while looking at a post or news headline my brain just reacts negatively to it i dont know if any of this makes sense but i feel like some part of me has died over the past few months i feel so exhausted and numb,3.0
30342,cant fall back to sleep  abass workout ,0.0
30343,ooh we almost got rid of jake then could have got a better presenter ,2.0
30344,distracted not better i really thought i was better for a while but i realized that i wasnt better i was just really good at being distracted hanging out with friends keeping up with school and doing my hobbies they were all dostractions because when i thought back on myself i realized how much i still hate myself maybe even more than before maybe because im so empty even with all these people and things around me,3.0
30345,fiberfool i am a huge tea maniac i wish i was sipping some now ,2.0
30346,sometimes its so difficult to move i have tried to get up off the couch at least  times now i dont even feel like i have the energy to sit up straight does this happen to anyone else,3.0
30347,mrskutcher i have been having crazy anxiety about the dentist but after your real moment you shared with us i feel less anxious thx ,0.0
30348,if you or someone you know is dealing with bipolar depression the center for emotional fitness is enrolling for ,2.0
30349,reignjonas i dont know we dont have a dq around here anymore ,2.0
30350,thinks shea bbqs will always make me happy ,0.0
30351,cymberrain keep going cymberrain  gogogo ,0.0
30352,ive put up  blogs on mileyworld and neither are showing up  im getting on it and gonna try and fix it sorrrryy,2.0
30353,billikipedia sorry i misspelled your name ,2.0
30354,mydogkeebie  yay shopping  i hope you wear your cute purple shirt soon its so cute,0.0
30355,what happened  the nice warm weather its foggy and cold  ict exam  and im still ill how gay ,2.0
30356,the one night i say go my depression is on red alert going to be a long night,2.0
30357,after taking the pills im farting uncontrollabe ,2.0
30358,pixum such a cute little swimmer ,0.0
30359,ooo  the replies i have red green anddd aquateal ,0.0
30360,rt itzwikipedia sleeping next to someone you love not only reduces depression but it also helps you to live longer and makes you fall as,1.0
30361,rt makiiwi it be like that babyboy httpstcofvcjqxfraz,0.0
30362,macmuso sure do large crescendo httpisgdqccq me singing httpisgdqcjz just for fun  httpisgdqcov,0.0
30363,reidbradley i am going to rent it now thanks for answer i will talk to you later take care my friend ,0.0
30364,lilyroseallen wish i was on me way to airport  xx,2.0
30365,i hope conan has not retired the string dance ,0.0
30366,i hate getting my hopes up me and my girlfriend have been living at my grandparents for  months now and finally found an amazing house near our jobs in our price range we were so so excited about it the background check comes back and shes fine but i have no established credit because i listened to my family and didnt get a credit card to build my credit now nobody in my family will cosign because they are all retiring and dont want to risk anything which is understandable but this always happens i get my hopes up about something and get so close to following through with it and then something happens and smashes my dreams i just want to give up at this point i feel so stuck,3.0
30367,gtseoadvice semseo after i finished my mba a few years back about  years now ive been experimenting with seoppc ,0.0
30368,already got my videos here but again even converted to avi windows player and windows movie maker do not have codec for that ,2.0
30369,rt  緑谷と爆豪でタッグ点灯quiero leer un buen hard pero no hay nada en lo poco que he visto que sad,2.0
30370,drank an energy too late in day  arrggggh  cant sleep  ,2.0
30371,renmiu oh so its around  there  cool  have a great day then    im doing sum lounge dancing  i head off  bed  x,0.0
30372,the sun has gone in ,2.0
30373,my anxiety is ruining my life 🙃,2.0
30374,working  again without my girl  but i get to see shannon when i leave,2.0
30375,damekelz well my brother pushed me into a wall today and i bashed my big toe on the wall and it really hurts ,2.0
30376,battmarnes did you buy it my trial ran out too soon ,2.0
30377,im in a pretty rotten state for years i have tried living along side the mess in my head i know i have depression but there is more but its undiagnosed ive tried different medications and some of them kind of work none of them work for long maybe they never work and i just believe they are for a while until the dark creeps back in that being said i for the most part have completely ruined my life without too much detail i am now  and i have a  year old that i only get to see a couple hours every two weeks i have thousands of dollars of debt my ex gets child support from me ive never held a job for more than two years ive only lived by myself for a couple of months before i was in even more debt for the past few months things were looking up my boyfriend of twoish years hadnt really dealt with someone like me but he had been handling it super well to the point that we bought a house together well i mean its his house and his money but we talked like it was ours we were happybut about a month ago i lost my job it just started going downhill from there a lot of it i think was having no contact with really anyone while bf was at work it wasnt that bad but last night i lost it self harm comes and goes with me i try not to but sometimes its too much and i feel like i need it last night i needed it a lot i got upset and made the bf mad so i got mad i went kinda crazy instead of cutting like i usually do i started open palm hitting myself in the face over and over i am still ashamed i didnt want to post this because of it but i dont know where else to goi love my boyfriend he is the happiest anyone has ever made me he is my best friend but right now he is at work and he is seriously considering breaking up with me i went too far he doesnt deserve to live like this so i dont blame him even a little he has helped me in so many ways since we met that i dont feel like i ever thank him enough i dont know why im here i dont have any other friends i dont have family that i can actually talk to i dont know what to do about any of this i feel stuck and useless and i feel like i ruin everything i touch i dont know of anything in my life that hasnt been fucked up by me at some point i dont want to be this way ,3.0
30378,strawberry rice pudding nice stuff ,0.0
30379,something has bitten me ive got an stiff swollen pinky  not cool,2.0
30380,home alone  dishes ,2.0
30381,i was all excited and thought i was getting a new episode of chatty man  its a repeat ,2.0
30382,finally felt good for once and its crashed down finally said fuck it after i graduated got a job stopped smoking was able to reconnect with a friend from school and start dating and its amazing and i love him dearly and i feel so whole again and i was finally going in a positive direction then my shifts at work changed and i dont see my friends anymore a guy i had a thing with at my work definitely filled my ego in a negative way but it felt good he held on so long then i figured out ive been replaced and got angry why am i angry this happens with friends or with intimate relationships and i hoped itd never happen to the extent id be left this way i just keep getting angry and upset i feel alone from the quarantine because i have to isolate from my family i live with now that school is closed im the hazard in my home and the only human interaction i get is the idiots at my work shopping and my coworkers maybe my boyfriend will visit but its starting to feel numb again and im getting tired again,3.0
30383,having a good paddling week ,0.0
30384,sicknastyyytina oh i know i def didnt see that ending coming tho that shouldnt have happened ,2.0
30385,marieluv wwwpeachpitcom look for quotfinal cut pro hd handson trainingquot i dont use but my apple guy says it the best get it delivered ,0.0
30386,really hates when chris is on this particular shift  trying to sleep,2.0
30387,everything thing that u love boyy u dont love no morrrrrrrrre  heeeels shiny ones i need them  x,0.0
30388,dropped a chair on my footouch ,2.0
30389,rt onlyonenetra true it is really sad when some literature demeans entire language and the followers both i feel this can be overcomed,1.0
30390,culdostuartdgray why does this happen to us ,2.0
30391,ugh not ready for my ap quiz time to fail  darn reagan haha,2.0
30392,didnt get my nap ,2.0
30393,ntyrer unfortunately not u then ,2.0
30394,i have to tell my friend who is getting married in two weeks that i havent finished a personalized painting for her wedding and i think i am depressed apologizing for this long story in advancei have decided to come to this group because i feel like someone here might be able to understand me my family is very athletic and i would consider myself an active person i enjoy going to the gym and lifting weights and some days i could go for early morning jogs at the lake by my house i am also a bit artistic and love painting but over the past couple of months i have noticed a change in my lifestyle i find myself to be extremely tired like literally everyday sometimes i sleep for  hours and wake up still feeling exhuasted lately i prefer to stay at home sitting in bed all day than leave the house to go anywhere i have been needing to go to the store for over a week now because i just need to buy things and i cant even make it i do work a part time job and am able to go but every morning i find myself wanting to call out for no reason at all as soon as i get home i just go straight to my room and stay watching tv all day or on my phone consistently checking apps without a reason to i have gained quite a bit of weight and everytime i see myself in the mirror right before a shower i feel disgusted but not enough to do anything about it i am also a college student and knowing that this semester starts soon has me stressed the fck out last night i decided to have this conversation with my mom and all she could tell me was that she has noticed a change in my diet and habits she says i just need to get my ass out of bed and go out and do something about it she says im lazy and that its all in my head she told me that i need to make an appointment with my doctor because im probably low in a vitamin i was upset that this was all she could think to say to me i guess i was hoping for a different reactionso about the painting my coworkerclose friend is getting married in about two weeks i am invited but she has also asked that i create a portrait of her her fiancé and their  cats she would love to have her guests sign around it so that she can keep it as a memory i love to paint and she seems to think that my work is worthy enough to be in her wedding i have known about this for about  months and i just now decided to try to start it we had a surprise bridal shower for her about a week ago and her mom was there long story short her mom was not on board with this project and criticized me for allowing my friend to have this idea she said if i was really her friend that i wouldnt go along with this and she wonders how my work will even turn out honestly that truly crushed me and brought my self esteem even lower than it was now im stuck with an unfinished canvas and guilt and stress and worrying and idk what to do i cant do it anymore i feel that it will not be my best work and theres literally no time to make it turn out the way i would have wanted to  i didnt want to let my friend down but i am also afraid to tell her the truth idk how to go about this situation or if i should just tell her what ive been going throughany advice is appreciated thanks in advance,3.0
30395, oh no i dont think hed understand  explain it to him i think he likes it when you do that,2.0
30396,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
30397,oh soooo dreading the next  days ,2.0
30398,leaving again  no roots for me just have to keep moving im done i really am,2.0
30399,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
30400,anirudhshastry well bonne chance ,0.0
30401,bottle of water yes sober again  woah,0.0
30402,how a physcadelic experience changed my life title says it all as someone who suffered from depression manic depression lack of self love bipolar disorder and crippling anxiety i relate to most posts made here at  i was prescribed copious amounts of medication that did nothing but make me numb to all that is life around the age of  i was abusing drugs and off medications i discovered mushrooms one afternoon as the experience took place i was overwhelmed with everything i went to the bathroom to throw up as i went to the sink to wash my face i looked up to the mirror and something inside me clicked instantly without thinking i pointed to myself in the mirror and said i fucking love you man tears began rolling down my face because ive never been able to feel that as i closed my eyes i began to comprehend that all things are just i could be sad i could be happy the amount of effort put into either is the same i still have my days of gloom everynow and then but im able to look back at what i experienced and realize that life is precious time is running out but to this day i still partake in sacred journeys to the other side and everytime i bring back something that keeps me going something that keeps me level headed brings me to myself thanks for the read apologies if this is all over the place currently turning onto the universe ,3.0
30403,i hope that i one day understand ,2.0
30404,off my meds and i feel great this is a long time coming but ive wanted to get off paxil for years ive been on it since i was  and now as im about to hit  i realized it is something that is not helping me well maybe it is but it felt like i was being numb to the worldto preface i have also quit drinking started my own company started reading more meditating and working out every day that has given me the confidence to and please please dont do this quit cold turkey  weeks ago it absolutely sucked on day  but i was with my brother backpacking through patagonia and being in nature made it so much easier im proud of this and have started to feel normal and get back into triathlons now thanks for letting me share and if you want to get off your meds please do whats best for you and contact a medical professional,3.0
30405,rt ziwe sadgressive adj a moment of progressive social reform that is sad when you consider contextsentence it is sadgressive th,0.0
30406,what am i worth my gf made a tinder talked shit on me from my academics sex our dates i drive her to school and work i make  mile round trips to see her since we go to different schools i do her hw im taking a class for her i tutor her i take her on dates buy her presents make thoughtful gifts i feel like shit so lonely she says shes not sorry i asked her if she wants to be with me she said yes i asked if shell love me she said she doesnt no am i really that worthless im  m not the smartest strongest richest or most handsomei guess im pretty bland huh im suicidal shes told me to do it called me a coward refused to pick me up from the hospital after a failed attempt i cant talk to anyone she made me push away my friends controls what i do who i talk to has my social media so i guess typing this out is me trying to release all this pressure inside or maybes its a call for help thank you for your time reddit,3.0
30407,do you ever think that you are too tired to go to work tomorrow or just before your day go there play your role and act that you smile but you are so tired and hate yourself been depressed so long that my whole life seems pointless i was so close today to give upi really dont know what stopped me doing something irreversible it wouldnt be my first but sometimes i hope it would be last you feel so powerless after all you juice is gone in that point where you suffer are in heavy anxious and didnt see any other solution than stop that pain and storm insidei see in my mind what i will do but i cant do it i often hope that i just sleep away and i dont wake up anymore or why dont i get some heavy disease because it would more acceptable to die because of that nobody wants hear your loser story how sad you are or how depressed you are i know it wouldnt be nice or painless to die some disease but what do for depressed mind it is convinced that you are burden for everyone elsei have two kids who i love more anything but some days im so tired that i cant do anything with them imagine how bad i feel about that and how sad it makes me im tired on daytime but cant sleep night and so tired morning that i just cant get up from bed i tried so many meds that i lost hopeim somedays so tired at work that i dont remember what happened that day i postpone things so long that my boss gave me warning on paper because of that you really think that i can try to explain it by depression i been so many times on sick leave for lot of reasons that im really scared that i will get fired sametime i just hope it and dont care i had  surgeries in last  years and healt is shit condition but too tired to do anything someone would say that why are you at work but it really keeps sane for everyone else its just excuse when you postpone things and its really easy to say that why dont you just do it go out and get sone fresh air well if you are depressed you know how hard it isps sorry for long text and typos on mobile and english is not my native,3.0
30408,omg my head hurts ,2.0
30409,playing double solitare with the grams and cuz ,0.0
30410,anyone awake just want someone to talk to listen  and consult going through a dark time right now especially with this national health crisis,3.0
30411,acidicice are you feeling better today morning ,0.0
30412,thank you for filling my life w so much love amp happiness youre my favorite person my best friend amp my first lov ,0.0
30413,i think mattie should prob start planting her trees in support of the squirrels  workin  my life away ,2.0
30414,chrisjcolburn oh cool britneys like marmite you either love her or hate her  glad you had a good time,0.0
30415,i love playing matchmaker mission accomplished ,0.0
30416,msshoegal ooooh yes pleeeease ,0.0
30417,celiaistall  so where are you reply to my thingy on msn rofl  kk srsly someone help me find her s,0.0
30418,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
30419,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
30420,back in oregonno more pumping my own gas    miles to portland  road trip was more fun with the midget  double ,2.0
30421,i feel isolated and i have no idea what to do the last few years have been rough for me i moved to the usa from europe around  years ago and since then i have felt more and more isolated as the years go by i am a native english speaker so that is not a barrier for me i have just found it to be extremely difficult to meet and socialize with people my age here in the usi have anxiety issues from my time in the military usaf and i have sleep issues due to overthinking weed used to help me a lot nowadays it still helps but not as much as it used too i had a bad encounter with edible weed and since then i get more anxious the more i smoke because i keep noticing my heart beat increase which gets me nervous because when i had the edible my heart rate was at  i get this weird feeling a lot where i just want to leave what i am currently doing and hit the road for a year or two and just be free and travel i currently go to school but i dont really like what i am doing computer science  and i feel like its a chore to attend classes that i have no interest in even though i love computers and code in my own time at home i just dislike all of the math courses and physics courses that are required i have thought about doing a job like a police officer or park ranger but i feel too afraid of making a leap of faith regarding the police role and afraid of not earning enough money if i went the ranger route i have a love for the outdoors and a love for helping people but i also have issues with doing things that dont spark my interest because i get bored quickly i am at a point in my life where i feel little worth in how i spend my time or my current lack of discipline and direction i had a few years of my life where i had this grand plan and it all worked out pretty much as expected but since then leaving the military i feel directionless almost as if what i thought i wanted to do with my life software developer is not actually what i want to dothe past  months have been very hard for mei got with a girl back in august my now exgirlfriend got pregnant a month ago and it ended up that we didnt really know if i was the father or not because she had unprotected sex with other guys she ended up getting an abortion this hit me pretty hard even though i am prochoice i found it hard to think about i still dont think i have fully accepted that i could have been the father but i just dont really know i broke up with her after all of those things occurred because she just was not the person that i thought she was and as much as i still had feelings for her i had to let her go for my own health and well being now a few days after we called it of i am getting the feelings of isolation back again i have been alone in my room for a lot of time the past week and i go back to school tomorrow i am going to try and hit the gym again this week and also go back to a board game event that takes place weekly near where i live i want to spend this year rebuilding myself and trying to find avenues to socialize any suggestions on what i can do to combat this feeling of isolationany ideas for things that help with feeling isolated,3.0
30422,robbyhenderson annnd you have to get over here  summer is over or ill visit  ,0.0
30423,lactose all the luck i can wish you winging its way mate ,0.0
30424,thatsjustrachel lol yes i do so hardyharhar ,2.0
30425,just signed a petition to bring the  tour to austraila perth isnt gonna get it cos we dont have a big enough concert venue ,2.0
30426,why are our kids so miserable  mentalhealth childhood familyvalues,2.0
30427,micster meh meh also apparently im too old to get money or presents from my uncle now  sucky,2.0
30428,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
30429,half my class just called me retarded it hurt for real ,2.0
30430,mileycyrus i hope i get to see in during your tour miley todays my birthday thatd be awesome if you replied ,0.0
30431,ggimmickgirl lol driving and running v v different okay next time i drive you home through brickland  hehehehe,0.0
30432,on my way to tescos  mileycyrus just used wake up america in my english exam feel the love,0.0
30433,you aint wrong,2.0
30434,peeks i made an extra cheese playlist to keep myself awake and now its ruined ,2.0
30435, we did they came out cold  the cheese sauce was good though,2.0
30436,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
30437,a comedy musical is just a bunch of sad local comics at a karaoke night,1.0
30438,chargerjenn that explains your profile and wallpaper pics  you seeing any shows on the summer tour,0.0
30439,i question my life i repeat the same things i question the amount of promises i have broken and the amount of mistakes that i have repeated not just other mistakes but also my own if there is honestly someone that is waiting for me im sorry i wish i could change myself im only happy when im not sober i can usually do things by myself to bring myself together but even so im usually down and i dont know why i think it cause of those exact things the fact that i am haunted by my past and the fact that it not only my past but also others i realized that i may not be capable of doing things that anyone especially my family and friends  that have had high hopes for me i know that my family and friends have been trying to fix me for so long here but at this point maybe i should go somewhere else and see where things go and what will happen ,3.0
30440,ugh i ate too much today i now have a tummy ache ,2.0
30441,tried asking in parenting sub but didnt get far my  says some things that are worrisome what are some red flags that you remember expressing from your childhood im sorry if this doesnt make sense i dont have depression but i think my son might were there any signs that some of you with depression showed growing up things you might say or do no abuse in the home mom has a history of mental illness though,3.0
30442,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
30443,ashleyrey were leaving ,2.0
30444,so i didnt get the manager position someone with more experience did ,2.0
30445,kkivett  im sorry i though they from springfield il haha slots of springfield im confuse ,2.0
30446,craigslist is my new gamestop playing skate  during my lunch this use to be quotmarket researchquot but now its quotguilty pleasuresquot ,2.0
30447,styleatelier i didntand i see nothing on craigslist ,2.0
30448,no thoughts blank mind im currently in a state where my mind feels completely blank and empty i have been struggling with this for about half a year nowi have been avoiding all kinds of social situations because i feel like i have nothing to say i cant come up with any topics anything interesting not even questions when someone else is talking i cant even have an actual conversation with my boyfriend anymore either  which puts a ton of pressure on our relationship  i didnt used to be like this in fact i was the complete opposite i have gone through a period of pretty serious depression but have always been very social and outgoing i feel like i have lost my personalitydo you guys thing it is depression or what could it be im terrified that i will be stuck like this forever thank you so much in advance,3.0
30449,dstv we need a guide for winmo too ,0.0
30450,lucylemon its understandable your down about it you want everything sorted asapxx itll happen soonxx im still feeling a bit iffy ,2.0
30451,is having a grreat summer ,0.0
30452,i need to go lay down ,2.0
30453,power twitter addon for firefox not workingi feel crippled cant retweet shorten urls or post pics ,2.0
30454,enjoying my mommy day  ,0.0
30455,says ym send your ids   httpplurkcompvfmpt,0.0
30456,hoptonhousebnb vanessa churton heath is twice a client and one pic we took there was used for our branding ,0.0
30457,when youre doing kinda better but the dips still happen and its like really idk its weird for the last  or so weeks ive been doing better sometimes i was even happy and then still i get those moments when i feel absolutely empty andor devastatedhopeless and i can just sit there staring into nothing like why is that happening even when im doing a bit better generally,3.0
30458,i actually feel sorry for the comedian ,2.0
30459,charlie w came over tonight and entertained us with stories of his recent trip to africa ,0.0
30460,would love to go to the movies  but dont know who i shall go with,0.0
30461,dannynorthphoto thankies ,0.0
30462,i love the rain too     amp it only sprinkled enough to make it muggy     i want some real rain,2.0
30463,i just woke up and saw this sad news i would like to send my deepest condolences to him and to his family i can ,1.0
30464,rt rachelmiasimon i hope everyone with mental health disorders finds a significant other who knows how to deal with them appropriately in,0.0
30465,watchin casualty ,0.0
30466,no pictures im going to die we have been getting lots and now none ,2.0
30467,maaaaan    i was trying hard  loge in    a huge mistake  instead of  asomy i registered as asmoy    huh  ltlt asma alhussaini,2.0
30468,im not sad but i cant seem to do anything im not really sure what depression is i hear that people with depression cant seem to do the things they normally do but for me theres no melancholy theres no intense emotion its just for whatever reason i cant do things i want to i want to get up out of bed and shower and eat and start my day and clean my room but i just cant as soon as i get close to starting it just feels like a massive hurdle or chore that i can seem to execute like my body is just a bag of rocks sometimes ill get up in the morning and drive to school on time but still be late because i couldnt muster the energy or willpower to get out of my car im not a particularly unhappy person i just somehow dread exerting any sort of physical or mental energy i cant explain it is this in line with other peoples experiences here,3.0
30469,nickpaulus get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
30470,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
30471,whatz the hell why is salmiya so damn crowded i havent even reached fanars parking cuz its so crowded  i wanna shop hoh,2.0
30472, ok lol next whats new i need a song too pick me up im a little down and out just a little  plz dont think im crazy lol,0.0
30473,and how we love logoes  ,0.0
30474,another restless night another night of emptiness and loneliness i dont want to face or go to school tomorrow but my parents are making me they dont understand how miserable it makes me i just want to die so fucking badly someone please help,3.0
30475,well broke my hand monday playing softball only to loose the final game  s ucks,2.0
30476,corona stopped me from graduating from university im a civil engineer student and i was supposed to start an internship in march so that i can finally graduate but because of the shitshow that all of this became the company i was supposed to start working at told me that everything fell apart with the internship the deadline to start was yesterday  of march so now im all screwed and feel like a piece of crap because of it,3.0
30477,will a fan of britney please explain the reason for such adoration im not a fan but genuinely interested as to why you areplease ,0.0
30478, yes very long i gave it up to god so if its meant to be it will be ,0.0
30479,a poem i wrote after coming home from a social event after which i felt unloved and depressed quiet is heintroverted as you can bedepressed to the bonehis heart has no homecraving for fleshhis appearance utter trashlook he has given upalas must be tough luckkill me he says softlypoor parents cant fathom if they lost mei want to die he whispers suddenlybut hey the unexpected in life is supposed to behe grabs his wandhe puts on his pointy hathe puts the wand in his mouthpainting a colourful redpainting a blue yellow and greenan abstract painting on the wallusing a spectrum of colours a normal human has never seen life cant be this colorfuli hope im in my dreams,3.0
30480, yes  a competition about what ,0.0
30481, same thing happened with mine ,2.0
30482,left my power cord  the wma board meeting ,2.0
30483,davidarchie up is premiering around august in malaysia  i wanna watch it,2.0
30484,finished cleaning my room  now i might have a drink then do some viscom ,0.0
30485,been suicidal for over  years ive been having a nervous breakdown for a few years nowalongside complex ptsdself harmaddiction issuesand awful anxiety and httpsdepressionim also chronically ill physicallyand can no longer httpsworkso im stuck at home mostlythe isolation and cptsd is literally driving me madi feel like a fucking loser as nobody wants me and im mostly alonei manage to get out the house  or  times a weekif my agoraphobia lets mei am also very httpsclaustrophobicim looking for a bungalow in warwick or leamington spabut council bungalows are hard to findand i cannot afford private httpsrentedplus because my landlord thinks im not keeping her house tidy enoughshe has threatened to give me a bad referencelike she did back in may as i found a bungalow i was going to move httpsintoso i lost that propert because of httpshermy cptsd gets badly triggered by my neighbours one sideas they have harrassed me for over a year nowand ive had to involve the community police several timesi feel really depressedanxious and unsafe httpshereas well as getting a lot of suicidal thoughtsi dont have the means to kill myself right now but i wish i didalthough a very small part of me doesnt want me to diei really have had enoughanyone else identifyive tried literaally every coping strategy to help meand nothing httpsworksim going to therapy twice a weekwhich is keeping me alive,3.0
30486,no free pnc wifi ,2.0
30487,it is okay  how is your test  and so do i  it is exams days  ok c u soon,2.0
30488,stephenackroyd dual accounts coming very very soon to tweetdeck is you can hang on a little bit longer ,0.0
30489,waking up regretfully maybe i should go back to bed ,2.0
30490,luckylobos woo hoo  somebody got that reference    i loved that show,0.0
30491, its going to be a goood day im in the mood for snocones,0.0
30492,dominicalevina lele iyaa smlm hp ku lowbat mau nanya apa lele jgn sedi lg donk happy monday okayy ,0.0
30493,the elation amp cardboard cutout are playing a reunion show tonight at mojoes gonna be so weird to see those bands again come hang out ,0.0
30494, i hate defending myself  i always lose haha im not pissed off,2.0
30495,my iphone headphones are dying ,2.0
30496,help i think im a monster time sensitive so i have been smoking weed for  years now to cope with suicidalhomicidal thoughts along with anxiety paranoia depression anger and just general racing thoughts this has been working very well with one hitch i dont have alot of money but thats not the point recently my dealer sold me some mouldy weed i got angry and lets just say i cant get weed anymore so i lost  the weed looked good but it turned out it was slightly mouldy so ive been thinking about getting clean so i thought perfect opportunity going strong until today im about to snap there were several girls in the gym today and all i wanted to do was rape and butcher themive been dealing with these thoughts for years with weed and im on antipsychotics now its really important that you understand i never ever want to hurt anyone ever not even emotionally but this rage is something else i dont know if i can control it but i can kill myself if it comes to that i hope psych wards arent my speed weed isnt legal and my dad shouted at me earlier and i felt this wave of happiness when i thought about what i would do to him as i looked at the kitchen knife i walked away and started chainsmokingseems to help i want help but theres this side of me that doesnt i think im heading downhill fast and my only thought is to kill myself so i dont hurt anyone but part of me thinks if im going out may as well take someone with me i hate that part of me and want it dead but its not going anywhere so i might have to because this just isnt me and if it is i dont want to be around anymore,3.0
30497,mebner  muehlburger  ive been busy with programming till now will start writing this afternoon ,2.0
30498,celebrating with bit of sangria ,0.0
30499,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
30500,well dampd  a norm night i would get out by like   amp i just got home  i hate my job,2.0
30501,  i miss my taz cat ,2.0
30502,kevin smith stocky night in canada is tonight sold out  yay though i have to miss ohbijou ,2.0
30503,do you ever think to yourself maybe im not depressed maybe im just lazy i look around at my friends and i see them with their clean houses and their amazingly organized pantries and all this and i wonder if im just lazy like maybe im just a lazy person and thats why my clean laundry has been sitting in the basket for a week or why my dishes arent done or why i have been eating frozen meals or cereal for weeks instead of cooking maybe i can do it but this is just me being lazy maybe i sleep a lot because im lazy i dont know,3.0
30504, i want to go now,2.0
30505,samcole bradfloyd timewarper got up drunk   ate eggs spewed   back to bed til  total head damage all day worth it ,0.0
30506,texting  watching house bunny best show everdont you think so ,0.0
30507,long time no log in me ,2.0
30508,before my tutor came  cant breathe jessicaveronica,2.0
30509,its impossible for me to set goals or plans for my future back in college my friend convinced me to set goals for myself as way to keep my eyes forward longterm these would be things like graduate college learn how to sing better make a new friend and i have to say it did help a little it made me feel like i had direction and purposeoftentimes i would find it hard to get through the day even with those goals in mind so she coached me on short term destinations things i could just look forward to like a weekend out or the release of a book ive been following these two ways of thinking really helped me ever since college but can how you think just stop working for you as time went on it was harder for me to find new long term goals and harder to get excited about short term destinations almost two years ago it just stopped working completely i couldnt make new goals at all and i just didnt care about anything happening soon i spiraled after that and my life is changed a lot for the worsenow i dont have anything to look forward to or achieve i used to think id go back to school to be a teacher but thats just not possible and theres just nothing that calls to me so im left wondering whats the point you know if i dont have anything to achieve then why am i still around not to sound dramatic or anything just objectively i dont know why i should still exist,3.0
30510,wants to go to the park and go on the new zip wire but its raining ,2.0
30511,psa for all my friends i will be okay after i get some motherfuckin sleep,0.0
30512,ive been bitten to buggery soooooo itchy  ,2.0
30513,logan and jake paul give me anxiety,2.0
30514,and again always remember to follow disneydreaming ,0.0
30515,ive lost the feeling of wanting to die now i feel nothing,3.0
30516,everyone around me is getting calls from their bfs and gfs  i hate this  ,2.0
30517,liftthebelljar sorry your day is so bad ,2.0
30518,boss threatened to fire me last week ive been struggling a lot more to keep up simce then im kind of worried because i dont know what to do anymore this has been my first job since being out of highschool i work a union job making  with good pension but the work is just so deeply unfulfilling i feel ungrateful for not appreciating this job more but when you got to get up at  do a bunch of mind numbing labour work and dont come home until   days a week how am i supposed to find the energy to do the things i want tooi know i have burn out im taking modafinil everyday to muster up any kind of motivation to keep going ive spent over  on therapy sessions without much luck id like to go back to school but for what idk my life has been so consumed by this job that i can hardly think about what i want ive already taken a bunch of time off but im right back to feeling absolutely drained at this point i kind of just want something to take me out because im extremely tired this doesnt feel like living to me,3.0
30519,version of mad world want orginal please in the top  version he actually looks scared for once and i no likey ,2.0
30520,sooo cold ,2.0
30521,is lookin  to a long weekend  really dont want to go to work  tho  x,0.0
30522,watched the star trek movie last weekend its incredibly good ,0.0
30523,markalanlowry we can see youwe cant hear you  ,2.0
30524,fayza i never learned how to whistle ,2.0
30525,rt sopeiology summerpoem seattlesd  btstwt hes being highly unprofessional by bringing something as important as mental,0.0
30526,at hot topic ,0.0
30527,treehousekidhotmailcom   i think someone should add me ,0.0
30528,dorkierthanyou cause this song breaks my heart so depressing ,2.0
30529, i can now offer cheaper on the furni that i need because of there cheaper values     i love habtipsvaluescom habbo,0.0
30530,lethebashar  love the instrumental portions of the song ,0.0
30531,the night is getting quiet ,2.0
30532,my bff recently diagnosed with depressionnot only has it been difficult in keeping relationships i think the hardest part is when my dog notice there is something wrong i guess although its hard on me it must be harder on her to see me like this she is aging and i feel like i let her downand recently the thought of losing her has popped up,3.0
30533, i forgot it was a girl  carol r carter or beverly grimm ,0.0
30534,thecrowns hey guys just thinking of you today that good you are back ,0.0
30535,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
30536,sorry it was the wrong video  click again on the link and you can get  the groundswell business strategies  httptrimlaxl,2.0
30537,elpie somewhere in the world the sun is always over the yardarm ,0.0
30538,just great not raelly dont have a lot of friends as i dont seem to connect with a lot of people where i live feel lonely and its almost torturing,3.0
30539,karenqgil tweeting is just fine ,0.0
30540,rt  i hate crowded places they give me anxiety ,2.0
30541, thanks  ur so lucky to be in california,0.0
30542,anxiety on ,2.0
30543,downwithpants  ah yes designers spend a lot of time trying to avoid creating dead space so they dont have to fill it  ,0.0
30544,my birthday makes me depressed its my birthday and its really depressing me ive never liked my birthdays its just a painful reminder of lots of things one being the fact that ive made basically no friends and i have hardly anyone in real life who cares about me  i always see people being congratulated and shown lots of love and i am lucky if more than two people even remember it and it reminds me of the situation of my birth which is not pleasant at all i was not supposed to be born i feel like something is wrong with me for always crying on my birthday i genuinely can not wait for january ,3.0
30545,finally can type without hardly looking at the keyboard ,0.0
30546,rt luciebeexxx anxiety blows one mild interaction can be enough to totally throw a person mentally amp emotionally we dont talk about t,1.0
30547,thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and dinner and song  youre the best ,0.0
30548,back to kl again boriing i miss jakarta already ,2.0
30549,barcelona was nice though not as nice as paris ,0.0
30550,andystrickland  i wish it wasnt you reporting about the canucks and heatley your pretty good with accurate rumors ,2.0
30551,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
30552,warfarris not bad thanks ,0.0
30553,mrceder phew relieved obviously this issue is very important to me ,0.0
30554,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
30555,papathetruth lol wow so how often do u think of me n my pics  so cool thanks,0.0
30556, buy me something lmaoo jk miss u pooh bear listening  music ,0.0
30557,neuroticwriter lol its actually really really yummy ,0.0
30558,jonasbrothers good luck with the first concertnot that u need it ill see u the   cant wait,0.0
30559,still sorting out this identity fraud stuff these monsters have really stitched me up   feel like crying,2.0
30560,hehe ubuntu  brings cylon boot screen ,0.0
30561, thumbs way up  ,0.0
30562,rt rayavlogs anxiety everyones talking shit about youme nonsense everyone is focused on themselves theyre not thinking about mede,2.0
30563, reallly wish the trampoline wasnt soaked right now ,2.0
30564,textin ,0.0
30565,i cant wait to die every night before going to bed i pray that i die in my sleep i dont know when it started but it was well over  years ago i am eager for this life to go by and end the only thing i look forward to and that fills me with excitement is my death it kind of sucks that thats how i feel but it is what it is ,3.0
30566,my dream just a dream after finding out im not the only one who thinks this waymy dream consists of terrorists storming in our class i would basically be the only one who doesnt get scared the terrorist makes us play a game in which the whole class chooses one person to die and i stand up and nominate myself and just die with a smileanother variation is the terrorist gives a girl  more preferably a crush  the gun with  bullet and tells her to choose and i walk up and force her to shoot me ,3.0
30567,did a race today  another one tomorrow lots of travel ,2.0
30568,therealtoriamos  where is my uk itunes code   why do you bother with these jerks next time sell tickets fairly please,2.0
30569,here i go my situation is an absolute mess i feel like a corpse im so emotionless and hopeless the only person i trust and love left me and doesnt really want me in her life i feel my life fading away every second im awake i dont know what to do anymore im losing it,3.0
30570,bye bye  tears ,2.0
30571,sad time about my red right ankle i can only wear  pair of shoes its the only one my splint fits in ,2.0
30572,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
30573,  all ready to go out and i curled my hair ,0.0
30574,i thought id be dead i dont know if this is ok in this sub ive been writing about my history of depression for a few months as i approach my  birthday im planning on sharing it on my  on social media channels a local website is potentially posting it and medium but i would appreciate any honest thoughts and critique as ive got one shot to share this and dont want to mess it upif this is against the subs rules then feel free to delete and let me know for clarity i am still very much struggling with depression am in active counselling but want to raise awareness in my community so am trying to make sure i get it rightim  years old an age i never thought id see an age my black dog told me was impossible told me id never see told me id kill myself before reaching the  of march  today   i am alive and so is my black dog  its taken me the better part of a decade but i understand now  my black dog will never leave hell be back and thats ok i wouldnt be who i am i wouldnt have achieved what ive achieved and i definitely wouldnt have told my now wife my deepest struggles on the first date if it wasnt for him   and thats where i am today i have the most caring and beautiful wife an adorable little dog a job i love and family and friends who never judge but also mostly never knew  luke died when i was  i dont think this was the root cause but it was the catalyst my brother and i met luke skateboarding outside the playhouse a few years before i was younger so naturally tried to be like the older boys and impress its fair to say at  i had no idea how to cope with his death laurie rang me and i distinctly remember laughing down the phone in disbelief but sadly someone id looked up to was no more   at the time i was in birmingham halfway through my second year of uni and was in the midst of exams and i stayed there answering questions watching the clock while his funeral happened in leeds   in the months after i felt different but i chalked it up to grief as i think anyone would it was only in my final year of university some  years later that i realised i shouldnt be feeling like this anymore and i saw my emotion for what he truly was a looming silent figure shadowing me at every turn my black dog in hindsight it should have been obvious at the time i was watching episodes of frasier over and over drinking myself asleep alone sleeping on the sofa in my bedroom for about  hours a day because i couldnt bring myself to move the  feet to my bed   after longer than it should have taken i went to talk to the doctor and was immediately offered medication and sent on my way i never collected the medication as i didnt want to rely on an external drug i wanted to get better myself not the wisest decision from someone self medicating with a legal drug but i was young i was a student we all lived like that right  between lukes death and graduation id sustained  concussions i was told around that point that for each concussion received the likelihood of further concussions grows exponentially due to increased susceptibility ive no idea if thats true i dont hugely want to know but if that is the case it would go some way to explain how concussion number  ive lost count was sustained from a light collision with a cooker hood those keen on contact sports may be unsurprised by the following conclusion concussions cause mental health issues and therein lies the dual edge sword its theorised that those with a history of concussions are more likely to suffer from depression but those with a history of mental health issues are more likely to suffer longterm effects of concussion  when i moved back to leeds i let it take over for a period of my life i acted on the basis that nothing longterm mattered no decisions would impact me in the future because i wouldnt see it i hurt people i love i let people leave my life i shouldnt have and i live with that everyday i think subconsciously i was trying to ruin everything so it would be easier to give up and die and from then to now ive sporadically thought about leaving it all behind ending it finally   my depression and it is my depression has evolved over the years it used to be a numbness an inability to experience emotion the worst things ive done have been driven by that by a desire a need to feel  anything and throughout the years the most easy emotion to feel was pain ive selfharmed ive selfmedicated ive broken down at work and hid away to compose myself my illness wants me alone it wants my mind and it feeds me negative thoughts  before writing this i looked through my old notebooks as ive tried and failed to keep a journal over the years  flipping through pages i found a scribble in a corner i drink to remember i drink to forget one day i will make the decision to never drink again but if you look in the mirror and occasionally hate the person you believe you are having a drink brings temporary relief im not saying alcohol is bad and im not blaming it for any of this but in the wrong situation you continue to look into your own reflection and the past floods back the tears start flowing and so does the drink  i still struggle but ive learned to accept me for me warts and all nowadays i tell people my story willingly and thats what happened on our first date we met online we went to a pub quiz which weve done almost every week for  years now and i bared my soul and lucy saw the me that was underneath the me that was trying the me that was almost lost   i have never told my family i feared theyd blame themselves they neednt but i understand why when i was sitting out on that metaphorical ledge my family saved me they saved me night after night without knowing a moment of it my story in the hope of showing people there is optimism in the face of depression unfortunately will make my family feel guilty and in all likelihood be angry i never spoke about it  but im still here because of the people that never gave up on me ive seen  with a lot of effort and some fortune ill see   and  who knows what the future holds apart from the fact ill have good days and bad days and that my depression is as much a part of me as my pulse and thats ok   a friend once told me a lot can change over the years everyone is trying to find little moments of pleasure and peace they can be hard to find but i hope to see many more and when my black dog comes again ill sit with him show him the beauty in the world and maybe hell find his moment and if not im strong enough to keep walking forwards with him in tow  ill forever have a shadow but reaching  is my greatest achievement,3.0
30575,do you get the feeling that happiness is deceitful its a cheap fleeting drug the brain sparingly releases just to keep you hoping through this agonizing existence you would think happiness being so rare would be appreciated and welcomed but its the opposite for me when i catch myself feeling happy i cant help but feel its disingenuous and feel almost disgusted at myself as if im ashamed for feeling happy and it quickly turns into shame and self loathing it makes whatever fleeting happy moments i have even shorter,3.0
30576,sdtoo bad ill be at the library studying all weekend ,2.0
30577,just had a mental breakdown everything feels bland now its  am here i just got finished feeling sorry for myself and crying for an hour i feel empty now minutes before i had my mental breakdown i was listening to musicenjoying it and just scrolling on tumblr i went back to doing the same rn and i just couldnt care less its like if nothing has flavorfor so long i try to ignore my feelings of sorrow and i just couldnt keep it in anymore its a good thing this happened rn when everyones asleep i could never let this happen in front of anyone the feelings just too much when i feel every emotion its just too much id rather much be surrounded by that emptiness pit of nothingness its easier to roam around life when you feel nothing somehow your body knows what things to do when your not all there mentally i used to hate when id get this way i could feel myself drain all feelings all together like if youre getting smaller in your own body and you just let your body take the wheel without deciphering anything thats going on how youre walking or talking before id get to this state when i felt it dragging me in i didnt really know what to do to stop it so as it was happening id just give in and let out a faint fuck i find it best to just let yourself go through these periods and just accept that youll always go through these stages in lifea complete contrast on how i feel about having mental breakdowns they drain you so fucking much from feeling absolutely everything that you just wish to end it all right then and there then after youre  done havinh this shit episode you appear to be back in the dark black hole of nothing i dont really know why im writing this what was the point of this i dont fucking know im just over it i cant bring myself to care about anything right now and yeah,3.0
30578,rt jennkuchenbrod lmk when my anxiety is going to stop ruining my life,2.0
30579,just got told off by a cop on a segway how dehumanizing ,2.0
30580,rt itstaytorres depression isnt always suicidal thoughts and loneliness and unending sadness sometimes its sleeping too much or too,2.0
30581,ddlovato not tomorrow  july   u should get some sleep amp rest ur voice sleep should help it,2.0
30582,im not sure which is worse twitter spam from internet marketers or overtweeting from the selfproclaimed digerati  ,2.0
30583,cars been dropped off for service and mot  getting the train home hate public transport,2.0
30584,capnsteve that that made me sad ,2.0
30585,theres a cloud in the sky how very dare ita pint at the local hostelry is in order later  ,0.0
30586,biifgriff smart people pronounced it too pooree yea like that i taught you gonna pronounce it puray lol ok john ,0.0
30587,lamamanaturale workin on it  had an ob appt this morning  fighting the urge to nap until the mampg is done  ,0.0
30588,trevorsarver sure thingjust as soon as you get your butt back here son ,0.0
30589,lichuen dunno  maybe cause of my grade hehe,2.0
30590,playing the guitarhaving a lazy morn hanging with mother today no  for me ,2.0
30591,hates that im finding it so hard to make certain changes in my life ,2.0
30592,best thoughts out to him,0.0
30593,all i want to do is sleep today amp clean not to mention all the baby clothes i have to organize amp my own clothes oh bother ,2.0
30594,jjamieee lmao it was good though had fun with you boys today ,0.0
30595,tired of doing the same thing everyday as a teenager life for me is surprisingly repetitive and because of this ive always told myself the moment i graduate college i am not allowing myself to work at some boring old job everyday until i retire and die but as a teenager i cant really change my routine the school i go to is very small as its for students with a very high gpa because of the small population most of the people there hate me because of some drama that went down with my ex i wake up at  get dressed and leave at  everyday on the spot i arrive at school at around  and then i go through the same classes everyday for a week i get home go to sleep because of my exhaustion wake up eat dinner and back to sleep to wake up again and repeat on the weekends i usually sleep through them because ive fallen in love with sleep the only time lifes different is when im in a relationship because of all the extra stuff friends cant do i for some reason cant find any interest in hanging out with friends its only when im with someone i like specifically when the feeling is mutual after the break up with my ex its been tough trying to find someone and my therapist told me i need to learn to enjoy life without someone and so i stopped seeking for love spring break comes by and all im doing is waking up at  and playing either modern warfare or fortnite because my only friend can play cross platform games hes on  im on pc im a highly competitive person and i get really toxic online so its a struggle to keep my sanity when all im playing are two of the most competitive games then  hit and my school was cancelled everyone automatically graduated regardless of grades no online school no socializing with any other person but my online friend and so i will have to repeat my day over and over again for months until i get my masters degree in computer science ive tried many hobbies such as drawing paper and digital music programming  modeling game development software development youtube working out at home it can only go for so long animating swimming airsoft and many others none of which fill this void i just feel so lonely and i feel like im going to die without adding anything significant to this world i dont want to die being a human that just lived so this is a very big rock to swallow im truly stuck and im clueless i feel like im aimlessly wandering to my grave with no set goal in life ive had a few mental break downs where i realize that im not even acting myself i stare into my eyes in the mirror for a few minutes everyday just to bring back the feeling of being human i constantly talk to myself and ive been recently hoping someone in my mind or an alternate consciousness is listening to me and thinking about what im saying im skinny to the bone even though i eat the most unhealthy stuff and mostly fast food im not concerned about my weight though because im a tall guy so it seems to fit well though it would be nice to have some meat on my bones i dont look like slender man or anything i feel like im pretty attractive sometimes but it usually goes to waste as it doesnt improve anything but my fluctuating selfesteem it just sucks man i could tell my whole story but if said it so many times to so many different people and im still depressed clearly it didnt do much,3.0
30596,felt so low thinking about my ex it was physically painful im still not over my ex and we have zero contact and it just hit me again today solidly feel like i meant nothing to her and it just really hurts sorry just needed to vent,3.0
30597,tortue  ,0.0
30598,alidllesdazed watching now stomach churning already ,2.0
30599,veryokperson exactly theres no real privacy on the internet its a public place you cant censor much on here sad but true,0.0
30600,wish you were there yuko ,0.0
30601,got that hollow feelin that all the sad love songs are about,1.0
30602,playig who has the biggest brain im a scholar ,0.0
30603,depression surprise bitch,2.0
30604,going to bed happy mothers day for every mom here ,0.0
30605,good mornin time to get ready for work n try to win these  tix again wish me luck please ,0.0
30606,amandamb but they will all be for down london wont theyso thats no good for me ,2.0
30607,i feel sick now ,2.0
30608,good night sleep tight dont let the bed bugs bite ,0.0
30609, yes  rain makes my calves ache  been suffering the past few weeks ,2.0
30610,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
30611,so many macs in the office today but lindsay gets none of them  no fair,2.0
30612,its cold and raining in leeds ,2.0
30613,hoping for the sun to stay out today ,0.0
30614,sitting here with my baby  libby has a fever   shes fussy,2.0
30615,big facts,0.0
30616,the never ending cycle of life my life has been a mixture of so many ups and downs playing peacefully with toy cars and then being beaten by mom for no reason building a fort out of old junk and then being molested by my older brother and sister fishing at the creek down the road a ways and then being raped by the nabor even as an adult it doesnt get any better lol i get my shit together get a good job my own place having some fun and then one of my best friends sister starts coming on to me she is beautiful i am not haha i resist for months secretly falling in love with her but shes my friends sister so i cant right my friend notices our conection and out of nowhere gives his approval i decid to go for it im in love i let her pick a house i buy it i give her everything that she asks formy life is perfect one day i come home from work a little early and my brother in law is parked in the garage i un lock the front door walk into my bedroom and see my girl sucking his dick they tell me its been going on for months i kick her out my sister finds out and kills herself she moves in with him i end up dinking and doing some other things to drown out the pain i also develop quite the sex addiction fucking anything that comes my way my childhood best friend moves back to town and drops by for a visit he finds me nodded off in a camping chair he reprimanded me and takes me on a fishing trip to florida where i get cleaned up i get home go back to church and i meet this girl another one way out of my league but she actually likes me lol i dont know why i end up getting her pregnant she wants to rush to get married doesnt want her parents knowing she was doing it before marriage i try to tell her i wasnt ready but she convinced me we get married she tried to kill herself and gets diagnosed with borderline personality disorder ptsd and a slew of other things it ends up coming out that she had a very similar childhood as i did but never got any help dealing with it she ends up being very verbally and physically abusive i have to call the police on a weekly basis i get rid of all of my guns and weapons in fear she might hurt herself or me she accidentally hits our infant child in an attempt at throwing things at me its all bad i try and stick it out thinking that she will get the help she needs she gets mad at me one day and i leave trying to avoid another incident and get a text that she packed as much stuff in the car as she could and was taking my daughter and never coming back i met with a lawyer today about a divorce and custody of my daughter im as depressed as i think that i ever thought i could be i miss my daughter so much and even though i know my wife isnt going to get better any time soon and i need to save myself and my daughter wile i still can i still love my wife so so much and hat that things are the way that they are all i want in life is to be happy it hurts so badi hope its true that time heals all wounds,3.0
30617,sleeping too much i have gone from sleeping an average  hours per night to sleeping over  hours a night for the past couple of weeks in the morning i toss and turn keeping my eyes closed and trying to shut out the world even though i can hear my pets clamoring for food and attention anyone whos been through this before knows that it is pretty well impossible to break free of this,3.0
30618,weeeeell should be starting new job by the weekend jinx nojinx and have moved on to anxietydepression so overall lifes lookin up,1.0
30619,i think im gonna see up today with hannah ,0.0
30620,i think i might actually kill myself tonight i feel so low every waking moment is filled with stress ive ruined every relationship because of my insecurities and irrational thoughts im sick of being tired all the time im sick of feeling demoralized at the sight of any challenge im sick of getting bored of things so quickly im just sick of it all i dont see a way out other than death i give up,3.0
30621,i dont really give a fuck about others the only thing i care about is dying it supersedes any inklings of care i have for others,3.0
30622,is awakegonna go make her self some tea i hope everyone has a great day ,0.0
30623,brokenaddict aw  at least the camera is safe you can make more memories and take pics x,2.0
30624,rt lancemciains lance was clearly upset at something shiro did or probably saidlance notices allura is also stressed and sad about,1.0
30625,my boyfriend moved away he was the first person that i truly loved he took a chance on me and i will forever be grateful for that he moved away because of things that could not be changed and is now too far away from me for us to make things work i was depressed before i met him and he helped me to forget now that he is gone it is even worse i now understand why people say you need to be happy with yourself before you get into a relationship i love him and i think he loves me but i feel him drifting i dont think he feels the pain as much as i do i know that he will meet someone else and it breaks my fucking heart i am not functional and i feel like dying i want the pain to stop ,3.0
30626,im living in a mcworld ,0.0
30627,rashmid didnt you have enough fun making fun of it last time   ,2.0
30628,dayfornight you mean a man who cheats on his wife habitually and is a complete hypocrite they have plenty of those already ,0.0
30629,my trusty nikon  is still up for sale anyone know someone who wants one ,0.0
30630,kissability i luv scones especially when they are just warm pumpkin ones sound delicious ,0.0
30631,dreaming about apricots ,0.0
30632,in the end it was a good day ,0.0
30633,need to jog later im getting quotbuncitquoter by seconds ,2.0
30634,missaj dearfashionista kiwikikireestl poohbearsha i need yall to blow my phone up fa real someone stole that shit amp i want it back ,2.0
30635,neck hurts think i slept weird last night ,0.0
30636,thunder raining i hate it ,2.0
30637,hates humity  my hair  omg ,2.0
30638,like  says  dont trust a ho ,0.0
30639,wohoooo i won a book breaking dawn by stephenie meyer happy i finally won something ,0.0
30640,mesagge to all of us sorry for my bad englishbut in the last period i was thinking a lot about this disorder and i came to some conlusion that maybe can give some help or at least perspective to people that are sufferingu all rwmember that small moment from your lifewhen u had awesome trip with your relative or friend or when u have enjoying sunny day innocetly not thinking much about anything elsedo u remember how did u feel  thenu could get happy by small thingswhat  has actually changedwe have grown upwe have sufferedwe have saw lot of things that have disturbed uswe have lost some friends forever due to their change or unfortunately due to stop of their existancewe have seen lot of unjustice in lifelots of peoplenhave betrayed usdrugs werent friendly as we have expectedso what can we learnthis will sound ignorant to someto some maybe not but we have allowed to environment to shape uswe have allowed to give up from ouraelves and believe me only person that can push for u  are yourselves are ui know that it sounds like a cliséwhatever drug that u use or whatever therapy or friend u call at helpat the endall will depend on your willso how can we come to that willlets start with small stepsdo something that u have never trieddrawningsinging how ever bad it soundedwriting diarylet try to move usmatbe it will make us better or even more miserable but at the end u will get feeling that trying is not regreti reassure uand for people with chemical imbalance i want same same thing to dotry againtry morei dont want for u to give uplets try together reddit communitylets unitelets say no to depression ,3.0
30641,this drug and the generic is horrifying i was prescribed it for a sinus infection  started feeling really bad and ,2.0
30642,if anyone on twitter sympathizes with this feeling of eating too much lamb today by all means let me know ,0.0
30643,second day in bali and soo sick ,2.0
30644,lianliancook thanks for the follow friday ,0.0
30645,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
30646,rt vvalcano my anxiety and depression battling it out ,2.0
30647, i read that but still feel sad he doesnt say that for nothing ,2.0
30648,watching  classic pop up video   non blondes whats up when did music from  become quotclassicquot ,2.0
30649,playing mariokart i keep being hit by a blue shell on last lap ,2.0
30650,julesxv you might be able to download the drivers from the brand website they may not be fully supportive of linux though ,2.0
30651,what happened to me when the antidepressants stopped working im hopping on this subreddit because this is where i was almost a year ago speaking the wonders of wellbutrin yes it is a great medicine and did a lot of great things for me but the last two months i have been taking wellbutrin it has stopped working everything in life was going so well i was getting out almost everyday with friends i was at the gym everyday i loved waking up and going to work and doing everything normal people do but ive reached a point where i dont want to do anything anymore i dread going to school i dread work or just about anything i feel myself falling back into the old person i used to be i lost  pounds on this medicine and from there it made life so much better so quickly but the crazy part about it all is that those effects can quickly disappear i hadnt thought about suicide in over two years and lately its the only thing i think of i cant push myself to do anything i sit in my room staring at the wall and i want to play video games or go be with my friends but inside i feel so empty i was on a steady path of constant happiness but for me the second my medicine quit working its like i became a different person everyone around me said they said i had changed my grades in school dropped and i dont even know if i can list all of the things going on i will say though working out is about the only thing keeping me going in the gym atleast for me i feel great and strong and happy then again my addiction to the gym is so bad if i skip a day i almost break down inside recently i hopped on a pedperformance enhancing drug known as  its in the family of sarms and is pretty much steroids i went from just wanting to lose weight to wanting to be the biggest keep in mind im still in high school and lastly i have one more thing to thrown in i have been trying to use money to make me happy but not even that has helped in the matter of a month i blew  dollars but those materialistic things only made it worse what im trying to say is once you start taking antidepressants you cant stop i told myself i would be able to one day just come off them but as of right now i feel lost and so empty i hopped on here cause i was just looking at my ceiling for an hour life has been so tough lately and i have come here to bring myself back to where i was this subreddit helped make me a better person and im here to atleast talk about whats going on in my life and maybe someone else can relate or help me out in return my last word of advice is this if you notice any changes in the way you do things or the way you think about things such as life school or work pause and think about whats going on i never too a second to ponder why but looking back to two months ago i was attempting to cover up my pain and all it did was make it worse for me ive never been more fit in my life and at the moment i have everything  i need atleast want i guess but the one thing in life you always need is happiness and as of right now im trying to find that again cause without it it makes everything else becoming nothing,3.0
30652,just landed in london radio is better food is better alcohol cheaper and clothes amazing i dont want to come back to perth ever ,2.0
30653,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
30654,juelzdesignz i want some  lol,2.0
30655,mission completed ,0.0
30656,rt tayleregang lmao laughing my anxiety off,1.0
30657,feels like im in bella swan house ,0.0
30658,now im just waiting for brendon to reply with quot you told me you were straight  quot,2.0
30659,wow im already at  followers  thank you so much everyone ,0.0
30660,jbaileyoccasion yay  glad to hear it went well  are yall bringing him back some coldstone,0.0
30661,tristanx i know i feel terrible ,2.0
30662,waiting for friends to call or email me bleh i feel unloved ,2.0
30663, definately praying hard for your lil guy  babies  hospitals  no fun ,2.0
30664,hell brighten your day come watch  httpwwwblogtvcompeoplekayfizzledizzle,0.0
30665,its that time of night boys gtits sad boy hours,2.0
30666,help with getting out of bed im lucky enough to be signed off of work because of my depression but i just cant get out of bed i try to be out of bed by  but regularly fail because sleep is better than being awake any tips,3.0
30667,have so much more to do but need sleep will have to wait until tomorrow   good night all muah,2.0
30668,dont you just love mondays i do ,0.0
30669,just did a depressed test and it says im  depressed hmmm well im happy as a bee today ,0.0
30670,is it bad if someone constantly talks about their depression not sure its the correct subreddit to be posting on i think the source of my boyfriends depression was his mothers demise in  howeverspoke with my boyfriend the other day he occasionally brings up his depressionanxiety and made emphasis on it when he claimed we havent had sex yet im a virgin and ive said no before when he asked for sex only been dating for less than a year so im wondering although he may very well have depression is he using it as an excuse for things i apologize if this is the incorrect sub,3.0
30671,conflagratio i know this one was twice already in my follower list both wouldnt budge when blocked ,2.0
30672,lmrdancer welllll i tried that one doesnt work its actually fun just hot  ill be here all day,0.0
30673,rt peedekaf i get so much pussy p  panic attacks u  uncontrollable anxiety s  suicidal fantasies s  sadnessy  yearning for death,2.0
30674,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
30675,bmtm you can make amends by joining me for some proper music at download ,0.0
30676,kellythecoolkid id rather rely on the cats saving us than the politicians   ,0.0
30677,pain so i have been suffering with depression alot i am not gonna tell what is my problem and what i am suffering from yet i will talk about that in another post but whenever i wake up i always feel pain and not just mental pain my armsbacklegs always hurt can somebody tell if this is normal or something to do with my depression,3.0
30678,working weekend processing  arduino    servomotors  laser papercut ,0.0
30679,umisk mamps same old stuff dont really like their clothing line but undiesfood pretty good selction here not as good prices similar ,2.0
30680,matiface well you would have been invited anyways coz i loveeeee mati ,0.0
30681,rt baldboyblues this is what my mental health looks like right now httpstcodochfilxfy,0.0
30682,i cant uploaded picture ,2.0
30683,eastbayou couldnt make it in today but was able to view the live stream great message today techiesyou rock ,0.0
30684,is it common to constantly have negative dreams when diagnosed with clinical depression is it common for depression to transfer into the sleeping state im surprised that  of my dreams are very negative for example dreaming for hours seeking some goal but never achieving it and then waking up this is exactly like my real life where almost everything has been a failure for me,3.0
30685,ugh just found out tree fell on power lines power might be back on at  i hope my ribs dont go bad in the fridge  going to bed,2.0
30686,raining all day yesterday and again today ,2.0
30687,diiiannee why cant youuu ,2.0
30688,jflux the album is very different but good im just so angry that they didnt play one fast first album song ,2.0
30689,its mommas day lets take this day to appreciate the  who gave us lifewe only get  cherish them as much as u can while u can ,0.0
30690,whysogreen atleast you dont have to work  although it is quiet at work and i got to watch the pens game,2.0
30691,night twitters prayers going out to airfrance  ,2.0
30692,depression is also smaller than you always it is smaller than you even when it feels vast it operates within you you do not operate within it it may be a dark cloud passing across the sky but  if that is the metaphor  you are the sky you were there before it the cloud cant exist without the sky but the sky can exist without the cloud ,3.0
30693,im confused dont know how to use twitter ,2.0
30694,transcranial magnetic stimulation has anyone heard of this i have a consultation coming up on tuesday ive actually read a fair amount of positive reviews im praying to god this can help alleviate my depression cause im honestly beginning to lose hope and go downhill somewhat quickly ,3.0
30695,lamamanaturale clark is adorable those cheeks nuf said ,0.0
30696,is getting the sims  ,0.0
30697, i have to find persephone a new home i am wheezingcant breathe from my cat allergies  didnt think it would get this bad ,2.0
30698,rt gardiensdepaix affairebenalla  vrais flics à la rue sans revenu aucune aide sociale sous la pression de leurs hiérarchies,2.0
30699,haveyouever been followed by this guy peterabbott he must thing i am obese meanie head ,2.0
30700,rt salakito you know niggas was doing whole crack before this right like full crack httpstcobupkfkfhwg,0.0
30701,instant internet marketing empire  bonus recoup your investment in  hours or less  httpvurmemegainternetwealthmegaredpacket,0.0
30702, im so lonely i know you do care but i am,3.0
30703,dad just tells me we are leaving for georgia tomorrow  a whole week without my computer,2.0
30704,rt hoesluvprise im going thru sum bs rn  im tired of being mad or sad everyday bro that sht trash 💯,2.0
30705,iiamher ugh im sooo jealous  i dnt have any money i cut all my extra expenses off no nails fast food shopping no weed i need a car,2.0
30706,what makes you cry its probably stupid but in my head maybe ill feel a bit better if i could cry just a little bit i havent cried in years,3.0
30707,one of my rats might die tomorrow monday please have her in your hearts if you can shes not even two years old i cant stop thinking of her sister being alone never knowing about what happened to her she has a tumour its been three weeks since my first appointment i was supposed to have an appointment on the  but they cancelled the day before it was about  in diameter i believe now its bigger than her head,3.0
30708,life is great ,0.0
30709,i have to turn my device updates off since they will surely annoy my dad the whole day tomorrowhes taking my phone ,2.0
30710,my cheekbone is bruised my cousin loves me too much ,2.0
30711,sat with a book in the sun at work the day has reached its peak ,0.0
30712,rt iamnenej cherish your mother ❤️ too many parents sweep that shit under a rug ,2.0
30713,my best friend has depression and i feel like im failing her weve been best friends since high school we have been going to different colleges now shes had her peaks of depression and has attempted suicide in the past but i think she might be sinking to a new depth i can tell that her motivation is draining through texts i feel like shes losing and i just feel like im not doing enough im not responding enough im not saying the right things im not there for her i feel selfish for thinking about other things than her its not fair its not fiat to her its not fair to her family to everyonebecause it isnt her fault it was never her fault its the depressions fault its taking away my best friend and i know shes still there i know shes still trying maybe im wrong but i want to believe that shes still trying searching breathing i want to let all of you guys know that there are people around you that think about you that might not know what to say or how to react we may not understand youre struggle yet we will hold you if you still wake up and do any daily functions like other human beings youre working hard this aint your fault its the depression depression isnt you ,3.0
30714,jackalopekid oh well have a safe trip ,0.0
30715,just wanted to post a confession of sorts hi im a  male i was bullied in elementary school i remember being choked by a girl cause i used to make kissy faces as the other kids i was always called chris germ and i didnt understand really also i remember being on alot of meds i never really stayed for longer than a year in schools and was always bullied i dropped out of high school freshmen year cause i started not to be able to pee in public restrooms and its continued  up until now  never able to leave the house for more than a couple hours and so much depression idk how to word it or whatever but im done i think about how it could all just be over in an instant and no more suffering no more thinking about it no more nothing im about there i think anyways thanks reddit for being a fun place to look at stuff,3.0
30716,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
30717,yingperrett son  mummy you always have the final say me  get used to it ,0.0
30718,john the day just started  im baby sitting nowowowow,0.0
30719,i miss my baby so so much  ,2.0
30720,    oooh boys  dont be sad here 😘 we love ya both the same 🤗 ever ,1.0
30721,received   hurray ,0.0
30722,missclaiire hes so cute  are you looking forward to getting him ,0.0
30723,stephdavies he replied to other fans  ohhh lucky people he should reply to us too,2.0
30724,vampireayna aha sorry if i ruin anything by borrow you tomorrow ,2.0
30725,sarahreeves   come do a concert in fort myers  ill make sure you have a better place to stay ,0.0
30726,dust storm outside looks like i cant go swimming ,2.0
30727,killer headache  i want my food to be here,2.0
30728,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
30729,brianphive  youre welcome let us know if you have any questions we are here to help,0.0
30730,alexachung meeee toooooo ,2.0
30731,at my nephews going away party hes leaving for iraq tomorrow ,2.0
30732,jethrocarr oh ok ahhhh yeah  i thought thats probably the case cool  thats good ,0.0
30733,wallabies to embark on grand slam tour of uk in nov last time in  wallabies won all  i doubt we can do it again  via skynews tv,2.0
30734,tired and cold  need a hot water bottle to warm me up,2.0
30735,dantric luis is awesome lip is quotcoolquot thats verbatim job    i waited for a call no word  im not hopeful ,2.0
30736, there was a surprise or two youll enjoy the hightlights good first day so far cept for james b ,2.0
30737,pls uplift me i get depressive episodes normally in the shower laying in bed at my computer i hope it gets better though i just need someone to uplift me i cant go see people because of lockdown i fell like i just need care from someone ive thought of suicide but after thinking of that i didnt want to go that way cause i didnt want to get people in my situation and the worst part is im ,3.0
30738,bored shizzleless gonna watch enternal sunshine of the spotless mind tonight internets being rather slow today ,2.0
30739, and my coffee grows cold ,2.0
30740,weird funk dont know how to snap out of this ive been in a really weird place the last few days moreso than usual i meani am usually a very bubbly person quite smiley and generally always with a positive word doesnt mean i dont feel down just means i dont always show it i always like to make other people feel good make them realize they are valued or loved or needed im that annoying person that will try to make sure someone is happy however that can be accomplished and in whatever way i can and no matter what that means for me i would rather be disappointed  times out of  if that means someone else feels better about themselves or that someone else has a good opportunity etc my life isnt a bad one i am buying my house i have food to eat i somehow manage to pay my mortgage and electricity even though sometimes ok frequently money is pretty tight i have a boyfriend who cares a lot i have best friends who would kill for me parents that love me i have a job i love what isnt to like right what actually isnt to be happy abouti get that but damn im in a really crazy low period lately and its really hard i go back and forth sometimes rapidly between being all about people and wanting them to know that they matter to me and then the opposite extreme of not wanting anyone close to me and not wanting to rely on any other person ever needy to stubborn to clingy to independent over and over it wont stop that combined with feeling pretty depressed just doesnt help i kind of wish i didnt care about anything or anyone youre less likely to get hurt that way despite all the good things in my life im worried about a lot too im worried about my parents health my best friends well being that eventually my boyfriend may have to move for work and long distance is no ones strong point im afraid that i wont have enough money for the mortgage next month despite overtime im afraid that im too much of a ball of crazy for my boyfriend and that quite honestly he will lose interest that i wont do well on my masters degree that im signing up for now just  stupid doubts stupid with no evidence to the contraryjust fuck life is hard and weird i dont know why im posting this even part of me wants a huge hug and part of me wants to tell the world to go fuck directly off,3.0
30741,nytimes sad,0.0
30742,itsemofcourse it says twittergenuis if that helps ,0.0
30743,goodmorning my followers  have a great week this is what makes my week great ,0.0
30744,stefanynyappy thx  i like ur pic as well,0.0
30745, and having yet another relapse episode of depression after a breakup i was with my bf for nearly a year and i quit work last november to go travelling with him over winter we had an amazing time but when we got home just over a week ago i sensed something was wrong he said out of nowhere that he didnt love me anymore i am crushed i have had depression and anxiety on and off for the last decade but when we got together this time last year i was on the mend whilst away over winter i got really inspired and positive for the first time in years about my career and my relationship with him but now that i had to break up with him its all slipped away and i feel so unmotivated i keep crying and have thought about self harming he knew this and texted my parents who are now really mad at me im just so disappointed and feel so weak but im so shattered and in shock that he was able to switch his feelings so fast and i cant understand his logic whythis is my third heartbreak and its made me really question my trust in people so ill be surprised if i will ever date again now im nearing  as it is and look terrible compared to how i used to looksorry for the ranttldr heartbroken and having another depressive relapse from the end of what i thought was a meaningful relationship now feeling worthless,3.0
30746, oooh yes ,0.0
30747,faketragedycom yeah sigh  but off tomorrow and wednesday d,2.0
30748,hubbie jay and i got caught in a thunderstorm trying to go to transformers which ended up being sold out ,2.0
30749,is majorly tired  and in a hotel room with her whole family  one of whom is a very cranky  year old  ,2.0
30750,my high school bully contacted me on facebook he says he is concerned about me after looking at my posts i dont know what to reply should i tell him all the horrible things he did to me still haunt me and they are partially responsible for my anxietyall  his message did was bring back some bad memories i dont think i am going to reply,3.0
30751,calling it a nightsummer school in the morning ,2.0
30752,good dream last night ,0.0
30753,rt ooskywalker a bitch like me b sad for like  days n after that idc nomo,1.0
30754,masterxell lol noooo dont make me choose its too heartbreaking ,2.0
30755,need advice going through tough time ive suffered from depression my entire life until a few years ago i turned to alcohol drugs and self harm to cope ive had a few relapses but only a couple in the last  years i recently fully converted to buddhism and have sworn off of drugs and alcohol i have no vices left but im trying to stay strong my fiance and i built a home and a life together these past  years this weekend she told me she had been cheating on me that she was no longer in love with me and despite what i thought we werent soul mates i moved all of my things out this weekend and am staying with a friend for now im looking for a place but its very depressing i make just a little too much for low income housing and everything else is out of my range i have a child from a previous marriage and pay child support which is like im already paying rent i had to return to work today and i have to keep going into the bathroom to cry im trying very hard not to break down at work please if you have any advice i am open to it how do you not break down at work or in front of your friends and family ive been trying to splash cold water on my face go for a short walk bite my cheek chew gum its helping a little but if you have any more tips let me know thanks ,3.0
30756,my depression is awful right now partly cause ive missed taking my antidepressants my go to method of suicide i ,2.0
30757,whos having a hard time not feeling like a sack of shit today seriously fuck holidays feeling guilty for not being happy around family sucks on an entirely different level,3.0
30758,looks like a no show for nicole  i hope everythings okay,2.0
30759,rt mishkasulaiman the amount of overdoses were currently getting at the hospital is unreal mental illness is a real issue and taking wa,1.0
30760,i love tmz you guys rock ,0.0
30761,storms ,2.0
30762,i just cried during the whole movie of up im so pathetic today and well every other day too ,2.0
30763,shivaniramaiah so thats why it occured to me that you might be knowing some school in delhi ,0.0
30764,marleematlin not a chance that wed forget you ,0.0
30765,struggling really badly hey allmy life is going okay but i struggle with near constant pain that makes me homebound i also work from home but ive been able to do a lot of projects to feed into my creativity and to make a good living without leaving the house which is of course quite helpful   ive struggled with depression on and off my whole life though it was really bad in my teens now im in my  and my depression has just skyrocketed i have a job i have a great partner of nearly  years i have a family and still i am so depressed i find it hard to complete some of my work so  i can continue to earn my income so that suffers when im depressed as wellim okay for a while then i get into these moods where i literally want to die and start crying about how i dont understand why im alive and think im crazy i should also mention ive had a group of online stalkers for a while now they dont necessarily interfere with my life anymore but there is one woman who makes broadcasts about my life nearly daily its not anything grounded in reality just her saying she thinks ive failed at my career when she says she doesnt actually know what ido saying im probably miserable in my relationship and then admits she has no reason to say that shes just an empath and knows etc i do look at it for whatever reason when i mentioned this gets me down to people they always say dont look at it or you know your feelings of being upset about this are valid because shes been doing this for so long so why do you even mentioned it anymore  i posted about it on a message board and i had to turn it off because i specifically said i dont want to be told to get over it because if i could i would have already done that but like  people were like i know you dont want to hear this but get over it likewow thanks never thought of that before i hope this makes sense my brain is so clouded and its a struggle to function not sure ill get my work done to day because im struggling,3.0
30766,siriuslysmitten  congestive heart failure ,2.0
30767,nohating get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
30768,how to rekindle a lost friendship after  years i lost touch with someone i was somewhat friends with  years ago  well call them person athe reason we grew apart was because i messed up in trying to flirtdate her friend which is how friend and i metmutuals i guess i dont think person a has a grudge against me or hates me im not making excuses or trying to make myself look good i didnt do anything that deserved hatred and an eternal grudge i just failed to be friends first because i was greedy and selfishhow if even is it possible to rekindle this friendship i never did her harm or hurt her emotionally i never talked behind her back i never gossiped we had amazing conversations that often lasted all night when we hung out at church it was one of the best moments of my life being in each others presence of course it may take time but is it even possible to do this,3.0
30769, i miss that show  i crack up at all the quotes ,0.0
30770,jessicakszohr omg you were in what i like about you  i didnt knew that until i saw it just now used to be my favourite show ,0.0
30771,i cant  year old male ive been through a lot subjectively after feeling like i had everything going how i wanted i have realized nothing has changed at all  year old male cutting fuck me i want to be normal but i dont feel like i ever can be i just dont want to be here anymore please help,3.0
30772,i wanna go to the beach but the rain starts  shit,2.0
30773,my other half is getting a tattoo done and im not there to hold her hand i hope shes alright ,2.0
30774,going mimissuper stressed out ,2.0
30775,contradiction being completely dependent on others in your life for support and help but despising people and working with people in generalring a bell to anyone,3.0
30776,im really sad about toby i cant imagine life without his happy gentle soul ,2.0
30777,theroser what happened why arent you guys coming to nampa idaho anymore i was sooo looking forward to seeing you guys ,2.0
30778,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
30779,noctconcerto thank you so much for helping me and thanks the website will be online soon ,0.0
30780,change of plans going to sarahs so we can drown our sorrows together w pizza amp cookie dough ice cream ,2.0
30781,is going to enjoy breakfast outside at the beautiful countryside of kustavi ,0.0
30782,im reading new moon  another time ,0.0
30783,weird question hello  im a young adult with depression and anxiety for a few years now i have abusive parents but i luckily got out with my brother so im not living with them anymore alsoi had some problematic exgfbfsand also some toxic friends who made me very insecurewelllast year i got a boyfriendhe is such an adorable dork and always care for mehis parents are amazingand they love me so muchthey are helping me with my strugglebut for some reasonim scared of iti cry everytime they make something for me and i hide because i feel overwhelmedeverytime they try to cheer me upcelebrate my little goals or understand me i feel scared and cry or have an anxiety attackthey think theyre doing something bad and i try to tell them that its not like that but i cant take a complimenti cant take their helpi feel guilty and i feel that i dont deserve any of thisdoes anyone know this feelinganyone on a situation like thisthank you for readinganyway,3.0
30784,so kelly is leaving me   tear,2.0
30785,suspiciousminds sorry to hear that kristen ,2.0
30786,another day of work ,2.0
30787,listening to junior wells before i get going groooovy ,0.0
30788,rt gayrepublicswag i just had the most magical thing happen and its brightened up my whole mood blessed god always provides a way out,0.0
30789,how do i gently tell my boyfriend that he triggers a lot of depression thoughts i get so worked up with overthinking and over analyzing my relationship im sure i am not alone in this but it gets in the way of my actually enjoying the time i spend with my boyfriend i want him to know that i struggle a lot with manifesting thoughts and worries all the time and that a lot of these worries come from my obsessing over the possibilities that our relationship might bring i want him to know these things but i dont know the best way to go about it i want to be open and honest but i also dont want to come off as compulsive or make him feel like im in too deep as we are a new couple some of the things i struggle with are things that he does such as not showing very much emotion and sometimes i feel like he treats me like a friend instead of a girlfriend its hard to explain but at the same time i try my best to be understanding and recognize that he is awkward and is still learning how to be in a relationship i had a long term relationship that ended almost a year ago while he hasnt dated in over three years so with that being said how can i tell him i struggle with some of his behaviors and for me they create a whirlwind of spiraling thoughts and worries ,3.0
30790,trying to cope with depression and recover from codependency no support system my counselor talks about how her husband was her support person the person she confided in leaned on and cared for her when she was weak someone that understood what she was going through and even helped developed strategies to use in her situation i want so badly to have a support person i have a boyfriend and its complicated but neither me or my counselor think he can support me is it possible to cope and recover without a support system i need to know its possible codependency paired with depression is making life impossible ,3.0
30791,makes me a little sad cuz he draws mine a lot and i never draw his ocs properly 😂🔫,1.0
30792,i dont wanttt to work tomorroww  happy birthday to my babyy millie,2.0
30793,jeremerogers sooo since ur retired  does that mean ur not celebrating go out amp skate day u were posta teach us ,2.0
30794, that party last night was awfully crazy i wish we taped it i love college  aye,0.0
30795,vividmuse ah now i see thanks babe ,0.0
30796,simoncollister no longer the secret society ,0.0
30797,lislbr hi lisl hugs were at home hunny  xx,0.0
30798,busy sorting out my calamiteit scenario ,0.0
30799,rt girlposts me im finally happy my depression two secs later ,1.0
30800,please dont writing this wont really get me anywhere but ill try i thought i was ok i was on meds then everything went back to normal again and i wasnt having episodes of sadness or being immobilized staring at the ceiling i could talk to people however i want and i wasnt shy for a period some people have said that i was cool to talk to and to an extent i was described as an extrovert if you knew me personally youd know im quite reserved thanks to my anxiety i guess somehow i was just living in the moments i believed id never have the opportunity to live again but man how it was shortlived that was that i thought maybe its just the quarantine and my lack of exercise but why does it hit so intensely too intense that i gradually feel like im losing everything now i feel like ive just woken up from a dream like thatll never be me again i feel like i mightve reached peak life without even noticing it was and now im just gonna continue livingor trying to being empty until i finally have the guts to just stop,3.0
30801,cmarkley sarahmarkley kiddos been to disneyland once im good ,0.0
30802,how do i know if i have depression firstly if this post doesnt belong here i apologise please let me know and ill delete this immediatelypost it where its more appropriatei dont really have any experience with mental health its rarely ever mentioned at home and the only experience i have is with depression is what people have said online honestly i didnt ever think id experience depression because objectively my life is good but for the past couple of years now ive felt tired and listless felt ill almost constantly and just plain lazy among other things i wont bore you guys by going into the details but it matches up with a lot of things that people have said about depressionive joked about possibly being depressed but i only very recently realised that i could really be depressed the problem is that i dont know if its actually depression or if its seasonal depression i usually feel better in the summer but that could be because i visit family delayed homesickness ive been living away from family for uni for  years now or if im just plain lazy and i dont know how to find out or even where to start and who to ask questions so if theres anyone who could me advice on who do i go or talk to in order to find out for sure id really appreciate it to me it feels like i cant really do anything to get better until i know for sure i know this sounds silly but please humour me if it helps im currently living in canada,3.0
30803,ghoul housemissing ,2.0
30804,black people need mental health care mental illnesses affect all people,0.0
30805, nope not me   ill be in nj on sat  ill be following ya tonight tho,2.0
30806,tommcfly tom do you like jb i love them  fans are saying playing with them will ruin your replutation its making me sad  tell them off,2.0
30807,jasonmitchener doin betteri think im finally getting over my coldyay ,0.0
30808,mmm breakfast and working time today we get a bit of landscaping done ,0.0
30809,pattinsonrobt hi there  just wanted to say i love your movies just like the rest of the world  ,0.0
30810,missing you little brother  im guessing there is no gmail in heaven then    ,2.0
30811,daniilovesdiana oh no o well that sucks  waheyyy sun  but my exams start in  days oh dear   u doing exams now  xx,2.0
30812,lilicosic really id still love to visit ,0.0
30813,someone using a period in a text,0.0
30814,sittin here thinking on all i missed out on in high school there was a lot of awesome people in my class but during that time i was struggling with anxietydepression as well and i didnt really get the chance to go to school events because of it and i never had a gf just thinking on all the possibilities that couldve happened if i had been more social it sucks cuz you cant get those times back and now im sitting here a  year old man unemployed still living with parents and rarely hang out with anybody and just cant help but feel sad and pathetic but at least i have my family just felt like venting a bit,3.0
30815,the problem is that i love to do everything myself ,0.0
30816,ví un gatito callejero con carita triste and now im sad,2.0
30817,josianna very cute huh so happy for them  i need to update the blog again  lots of cycling this weekend and events   how iz u,0.0
30818,me im the drama queen mike yeah me well so r u mike as a woman me yup  and a female dog mike me ,0.0
30819,ok im i lied im going to die we are driving home in the middle of this ,2.0
30820,anothera i hate you youre her favourite ,2.0
30821,i feel ive reached the end of myself im sorry in advance for the things i say ive been holding it all in for months now and i just dont know what else to do my girlfriend and i split a few months ago we moved to another state to pursue her career im still in love with her but i felt my depression had gotten so bad it was taking her down with me i moved back to my hometown to try to get my head on straight i feel like a ghost here i started medication when i got back im in so much pain for  months now it feels like its just getting worse im functional and have a job working  hours a week but i hide everything i feel because of shame i dont know how i keep going every time i move it hurts i try to talk and it tears up my insides i feel like a stuffed animal with a rip at the seam everytime i move im falling out all over the place so i stop for a while and stuff it in and keep going i feel so misunderstood and unwanted existence has become so painful i fantasize about dying all the time i am so lost right now and i just want to feel loved please keep me in your prayers i dont know what to do with myself anymore,3.0
30822,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
30823,jessicabedford you should bring me some  oh have some with nutella oh thats right your mum hids it hahahahahahhahaha,0.0
30824,starting to watch the oc  all the way from season  eps  ,0.0
30825,its not gonna be long reddit im done im so fucking done with everything every day my depression and suicidal thoughts get worse i dont think i can take it much longer soon there will be a moment where i completely break and will just kill myself in a way im kinda looking forward to it as scary as it may sound it does to myself tbh i feel like its going to be soon i dont have time to wait to be able to get help look at my previous post on this sub for reference before that i will break im sure of it,3.0
30826, lol me too im so excited cant wait yea i kno they dont let u write much btw use this instead of direct messaging  x x,0.0
30827,olivermrks thats so sad,2.0
30828,no more school mofos  exams now   this year was the most hectic year of my  next year finally,2.0
30829,parlai just tweet about anything youll get to  soon enough ,0.0
30830,wanting to change ive been depressed for years now ive got depression anxiety and eupdbpd i want to make a change in my diet and exercise and attend the gym regularly i have the motivation but no clue how to start this at all has anyone any advice or tips they could give to get me started,3.0
30831,just got twitterberry  watching snl with my dad justin timberlake is so talented,0.0
30832,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
30833,twilightnewsman sorry for last time i understand nowyou cant be a bad boy because i have indian blood and im not bad ,0.0
30834,james ballard rip ,2.0
30835,punkful dati i get to talk to handlers pa when i was doing officeevents pero mas importante prioritize your studies the best yun ,0.0
30836,lazy day sunday lots of studying to do ,0.0
30837,hgtweetv aaaaargh i have been so bad about remembering to enter i think i only have like  entries for this one ,2.0
30838,need help i need help getting over a friendship breakup back in the summer of   i emotionally hurt one of my friends in a friend group by trying to make them be friends with a friend they were no longer friends with i know i was in the wrong and i apologized multiple times for doing that she said she forgave me but the last time we talked was march of  i still to this day get depressed thinking about her and another mutual friend who has refused to talk to me since march as a result of the incident ,3.0
30839, out of curiosity tweet deck doesnt list following or followers and adding users to groups it doesnt list all users ,2.0
30840,crazygagathing naaa  was ist so witzig haha ,0.0
30841,jamieoliver im  and ive started cooking for my family and you ministry of food book is so easy to follow and im a total beginner ,0.0
30842,spring break is depressing all i see is people my age on snapchat going out going on vacation and living it up and being young making memories that will last a life time meanwhile soon ill be  and having no memories to look back on really i really dont see the point in living anymore considering the best years of my life are pretty much over my youth was wasted ,3.0
30843,need a friend anybody want a new friend or a casual chat pretty sick and tired of being so lonely all the time,3.0
30844,gotta get some rest this was truly an awesome day  fb pics up tomorrow ,0.0
30845,rt ghhada من الحاجات المرعبة موضوع أن شخص يبقى ليه impact كبير فشخ عليك، لدرجة أن your mental health وحالتك النفسية مرتبطة بوجوده أو بغي,2.0
30846,dalechumbley montanas good i miss portland and vancouver too ,0.0
30847, rc is taking much longer to come out of sleep than previous builds black screen for anything from  seconds to a minute ,2.0
30848,i completely failed at twitter today ,2.0
30849,home amp away is on in  minutes ,0.0
30850,rt tyematt damn daniel back at it again with the crippling depression,2.0
30851,jongalloway unfortunately  the answer to that has been proven in previous battles  you dont need them but some folks apparently do,2.0
30852,my best friends graduated college today time to party all weekend ,0.0
30853,so twitpic is being an asshole and doesnt seem to post what i send from my phone ,2.0
30854,mandyyjirouxx i didnt think soo ,2.0
30855,rt stheterrorist its sad that the silent treatment actually works  sad that ignoring ppl makes dem care about u why do we chase da,1.0
30856,forget that last tweet  just realised they arent even on sale yet  i shall ask the universe again after  may ,0.0
30857,half of the team is on its way to meet lou and his team on the coolsign stand  we running out of time now to meet all those we want to ,2.0
30858,cry yourself to sleep just immense sadness comes at me at night omg it hurts i feel so much i blame so much omg its not even worth writing the shit my brain  tells me theres a part that believes it thats why it hurts or else it just thoughts thoughts come and go but insecurities lie deep down because we know there is some truth in it  ugzgsgdhdhdhdh i hate to admit that but man i feel i was never really dealth a good hand in this life man if only ughshhshs just me blabbing n shit,3.0
30859, hey u i likeddiddid that moviwhre u been tho giant i missed u was lookin at our last picture  ,0.0
30860,needs a new job please help ,2.0
30861,zuppalizzle drinking is good  do you know anyone in sydney of newy that could put me up ofer vew years ill pay board and stuff,0.0
30862,khloekardashian i did enjoy it you did great you didnt seem nervous great except i was on hold to get through and my cell went out ,2.0
30863,intelligentplan no problem  fine here i hope u r well too ,0.0
30864,right there w ya on that one wth  ,2.0
30865,i feel like im drowning fast just a little backstory firstso when i was  i moved to norway to live with the love of my life i moved with confidence and pretty much every penny in my savings we rented a small apartment and everything was going well unfortunately i couldnt get work and here i am two years on moving back to the uk without my girlfriend and with no money she is staying there until ive got us an apartment and then moving here with me im currently sleeping on my mums floor in her tiny apartment with a broken toilet this is the first time ive been away from my girlfriend in two years im struggling to find the strength to do anything im working almost  hours a week on minimum wage with a bad back trapped nerve in lower back i probably sound like a bitch  but life just looks so difficult from here i feel like i cant do anything and even when she comes to the uk ill never get to spend time with her im scared this will ruin us i feel like im crumbling and i dont know how to cope with it sometimes i think about just ending it all and sometimes i think that it isnt that bad i have nothing right now i dont know how to get through the days without worrying about the future im sorry if this comes across as petty i just need someone to talk to or someone to tell me that it will all be fine ,3.0
30866,im so lonely i have an amazing fiance some really good friends and a pretty great support system but for some reason it doesnt get through the screen between reality and my brain im also to helpful especially with my friends for some context i started three separate meds for adhd depression and bipolar disorder they have helped more than anything ever has and i am not going to stop but when i was a kid and teenager before depression started really consuming everything i was i was talkative and loud that slowly over the years turned into self loathing destructive behaviors and loss of complete mental control now that ive started on these meds ive become loud and talkative again but also less self hatred and introversion my friends say theyre all happy and my fiance is so proud of my improvement but i feel like i am completely alienating everyone i cant remember the last time i actually had a conversation with someone a real one i feel misunderstood or if i show any sign of emotion its dismissed as me being off my meds or something in the way the person im talking to face or body looks in the moment i dunno and im sorry if this seems ramblyim so in my own head because when i talk i feel like people want me to shut up i start to shut down i start leaning into apathy i cant seem to find my center with those i care about and i feel so unbelievably lonely and the worst part is i dont know if i can trust it and that makes me question the meds fuck i dont know just needed to put this somewhere and know i got it out of me in some way because i cant bring myself to tell anyone irl right now thanks,3.0
30867,beach was awesome night class sucks ,2.0
30868,waking up this morning was reallllly hard  and i had the worst dream  squarespace,2.0
30869,guys the ghost is back at my house wreaking havoc in the living room at odd hours of the night cleaning up ,2.0
30870,i gotta beat this depression beat it in the face,2.0
30871,macjunction   lolno not exactly ,0.0
30872,exzylen did your car get hurt ,2.0
30873,going to the bank just woke up what a horrible sleep ,2.0
30874,all is wellwellsortaall is a shallow ditch   ,0.0
30875,jencookies thanksss  same to you    we had a frost advisory last night lol so if we get no more of those im set,0.0
30876,boy am i in the doghouse when i get home tonight looks like ill be sleeping on the lounge ,2.0
30877,damnpenguins got a quick goal at the end of an ot power play they now lead the series   ,2.0
30878,one more test today silly as it sounds  cant wait for the actual exams emotinally  im drained ,2.0
30879,i started a music blog  ,0.0
30880,shooting straight days  done time to sleep so much unfinished work to do gtlt how will i ever catch up ,2.0
30881,watching the quotcurious case of benjamin buttonsquot so far so good ,0.0
30882,ok i give up i am giving in to the damn migraine first time actual headache has followed the mad lsd flashing light things ,2.0
30883,tweetdeck for iphone is kinda cool but crashes a lot ,2.0
30884,i need someone i have a lot of issues but my main one is i just constantly feel alone as a child i grew up alone with no friends to play with and no one to hang out with nowadays i feel just as alone i stress myself out and i put myself down i feel selfish and undeserving of anything everyday i mask and run from my problems and my feelings feeling things make me feel weak and small i see so many people sharing their stories and getting so much support while i have barely any im tired of being alone and feeling alone in my struggles im ready to end it but im too pussy to go through with it,3.0
30885,i wanna give out my condolences to the family of those people who were presumed dead from the disappearance of an air france plane ,2.0
30886,neelnshah awesome spread the word  retweet,0.0
30887,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
30888,shaunjumpnow i hear you like the oc good on you  i looveeee it,0.0
30889, woohoo welcome to the wonderful world of twitter minimorgan ,0.0
30890,i cant believe its almost june already and things are still all crazy like cant wait to start work at the hospital though ,0.0
30891,jencloss awesome i would have loved to have gone ,0.0
30892,feeling like stupid people shouldnt exist spoken as one whats the point what if youre born with a bunch of learning difficulties and everyone just treats you like crap because you fail at everything you try or it takes you  longer to accomplish something that others get on their first try it doesnt serve me in any way to suffer pointlessly people tell me i can articulate myself verbally but i dont know how to monetize it i have tried at a number of things very hard for many years and got nowhere in it people are going to get tired eventually and will leave me my gf already cheated on me anyway because she said i was just stagnating this came about a month after we got married were still together but it feels like i am responsible for that more than she is shes got her own issues to deal with though so im not too pissed at her anymore its mostly to give some back storyi feel like there is an overwhelming amount of christian moralizing on the topic of suicide like we all can make it and youll find true love one day blah blah blah there are no guarantees dude i wish people just said its ok to fucking die and that some people deserve it more all my life ive been told i didnt try hard enough but these people arent me so how can they know another thing is that my gfwife feels lol calling her wife after what she put me through might be making a lot of money eventually bc she isnt a mental retard like i am and if she doesnt leave me then ill definitely feel like im not pulling my own weight in the relationship i wish instead of demonizing masculinity psychiatrists talked about how men need to feel masculine i cant be some useless lump that just exists not after everything ive been through and its a joke that women are into nice guys literally every time i was an asshole or acted confident is when id get attention from the opposite sex so it gets addicting in a way but after a while you need to back it up with something real and the issue is i dont have anything besides anger and hate my natural abilities simply dont make me desirable past like a month of datingfucking and i dont wanna be alone tldr read the whole thing or ignore and thanks if you managed to get to the end,3.0
30893,i just wanna share something about my own experiences so first year college i met this dude lets call him john and we became the best of friends in our block he had some people whom he knew since he was a kid so we would always hang out together and stuff and our group got really big and i was really happy about it because i treated them like the family i never hadlater on john got himself a girlfriend and we were all happy about it because we didnt know if hed ever date anyone back then i had a girlfriend too and i felt like the luckiest guy in the world but reality would soon crush that feeling as the cold november nights would pass every night my girlfriend would call me wanting to kill herself telling me i love you every time she would try and do so like it was the last time each time i would try to borrow money from my parents just so i can go and see her in personwe lived in different cities so no i couldnt walk all the way it would take me days but then they never once did later on i guess she became alright for a little while but then we werent seeing each other frequently and she wouldnt reply to me for days it was like she just i dont know forgot that we were togetheranyway so i did some sniffing around and asked my friends who went to the same uni as her and i found out that shes been seeing this other guy for a while now whats worse is that i was sent a picture of them entering a cheap hotel and i need not say what happened after that since its obvioussooo fast forward to a month later i still havent confronted her about it we were still dating and i pretended like it was nothing but deep down i was dying and then the thing happened john and his girlfriend had broken up recently and one of my close friends was celebrating her  birthday  so skip to the day before the party i had invited my girlfriend out because i havent seen her in so long later on that day we went to a cheap hotel and guess what it was the same one she went to with that other guy while it was happening i didnt know what to feel whether to feel good from the sex or to feel the pain from her betrayal netorare people you might be able to help me out here when i got home i felt so empty i didnt know what to do so i tried inflicting pain upon myself things like punching walls that werent paved smooth or cutting myself and all that kind of stuff just to see which was more painfulthe next day i didnt even want to go to my friends birthday party i didnt even want to go anywhere i just wanted to watch anime and chill out on my own but no i went out and guess what i fucked up i got drunk and got laid with someone else in my friends car and yeah if you guessed it it was johns ex girlfriend that i got laid with the next day i told my girlfriend what happened and that i was really sorry about it i was the one begging her to stay even after everythingi was the one who went all the way to her and apologized in personwhat she did next did nothing to help my situationshe told her friends and her familythat i hurt hershe told them that i cheated on her just for the sake of itshe told them the kind of scumbag i was that one night i went outbut she never told them what she did of courseafter that all i would hear are texts from her parents bashing me about cheating on their lovely and innocent daughter i never replied once because i was done with it i was done with the bullshit that was happening between me and her and so finally she broke up with me the same week i told john that i had slept with his ex and after that things with my group were never the samethis happened over a year ago and to this day these memories still haunt me,3.0
30894,munachao  grimesforever soheezy let alexbarron sleep on the way to atx ,2.0
30895,had a very weird dream and im glad i am awake now ,2.0
30896, thanks ,0.0
30897,geekishpirate i believe you can now use verizon phones on alltel like the dare and env touch but yeah most of alltels phones suck ,2.0
30898,having friends who seems to care about you is a blessing but it also sucks i barely have any friends now i have three total friends but only  who talks to me regularly they are the best part of my life and the only thing worth living for but it also hurt me the most sometimes i just wish that they stopped caring and drop me so that i dont have to hang on by a twig anymore and just die while not having to care about them out of the group i am still anyways the one who isnt best friends with anyone and the thought of not having anyone who will always care and someone you can completely trust and talk to hurts i keep questioning their motives and telling myself that im not actually wanted there and i think they are getting tired of that i know that they are good people and can do better without me but the thoughts of hurting them scares me ive always been afraid of being abandoned and they are the last things i would want to lose but im afraid that its going to happen anyways once we all leave for college i just want something permanent in life i need someone who i can trust again who can make me feel wanted again,3.0
30899,excited for tonight ,0.0
30900,newyorkdreamer well you did know i was only your friend because i like to wack you with your ruler ,0.0
30901,flight delayed ,2.0
30902,lolll i love hacking into peoples tweets ,0.0
30903,filos  haha well it seems a good day for it,0.0
30904,ahh yeahh  done some revision and am now having a cup of tea and half a twirl ,0.0
30905,wowie alrighty then ,0.0
30906,sanjukta well i know it was far fetched i am sure u might have been way too young back then  where is it playin,0.0
30907,glennbeck good luck on your tour  like you need it  craig t nelson rocked keep doing what youre doing,0.0
30908,i need to get a fathers day present but no one wants to go to the mall with me ,2.0
30909,yay i got my sweatshirt backk ,0.0
30910,turning cf reading light on now so it will be bright enough when i sit to read the sunday globe ,0.0
30911,a familiar sight at my moms   ,0.0
30912,quick discussion i remember being happy at times when i was younger but not so much anymore i am  right now been on anti depressants for almost a year and just wanted to run some thoughts by some of you my usual mood is flat gray yknow dull not happy but not super sad either and thats pretty much how ive felt for a good couple years now i rarely feel ecstatic or energeticnow every once and awhile a random happy memory from my childhood will pop into my head and i will instantly feel as if someone filled in the colors in a coloring book all of a sudden ill feel euphoric for a couple seconds but then the feeling is gone basically to put this into a little more perspective i usually feel as if everything is black and white with no sound but every now and again a happy memory will surface for a couple of seconds and my world will be filled with colors and sound and its quite amazing but its gone as quick as it came ive always wondered if feeling gray dull etc was normal for most people and maybe my memory is embellishing the details of my happy childhood but i mostly wanna know what you guys think does anything like this happen to you is it just my head trying to convince me i have depression by making me feel this way ,3.0
30913,the feeling when you love someone and the person doesnt love you back is the worst most painfull thing i have ever experience in my life my deppresion whoulf just be gone but she will never love a lonely ugly guy like me,3.0
30914,agonyofvictory nevermindgot my answer in the movie ,0.0
30915,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
30916,ive fallen into deep depression after having been betrayed and manipulated this has been the worst year of my life by far im  still pretty young and all but i feel hopeless at times my partner of  years was a lying manipulative psychotic cheating piece of shit asshole whos hurt me so badly that i feel nothing but pain and sadness all the time that i just cant take it perhaps my depression in situational but the pain from this is the worst its agonyi try not to think of it but even then my emotions are so intense that i start to feel numb after a few days of just crying and being miserable this entire year has been shit its been so hard for me to recover im not myself my trust has been broken so badly and ive been manipulated and abused so much that i feel like ive truly lost myself and who i am i dont care to do anything anymore ive lost jobs several times this year one directly because my depression was so bad that it effected my performance at work and i never showed up on time didnt talk or interact and its been this way for months and months im really good at isolating myself all i do is lay in bed and watch videos and hope to distract myself enough to just get through the hours  but this isnt what i want i dont want to let this take hold of me even tho it has i dont want to stay in this place forever but it takes a hold of me is anyone else here dealing with something similar has your trust been broken i feel like everyones lying to me all the time like no one really actually cares and theyre all feeding me lies ,3.0
30917,i wanna play sims  ,2.0
30918, boy that was a long time ago welcome to twitter look on my page and youll find chevvy ,0.0
30919,help me to help someone else hey all ive been lurking around the back of here for a while and my girlfriend posts from occasion to occasion i need some help my  girlfriend doesnt want to exist she wants to kill herself and doesnt want help from professionals i do know what to do she trusts me and tells me everything but i struggle sometimes and break down myself shes an amazing girl very good looking and a great personality we together love each other heaps but her depression brings us through highs and lows i love and remember the highs and she wallows and lives in the lows just any advice for me and for her thanks in advance,3.0
30920,donolulu id just have to go right ahead and agree with youno argument at all just complete agreement  ,0.0
30921,no pleasure in my life i guess i dont know why im typing this but i would love some help i guess i feel like everyone hates me and i have ambitions and i want to do things it i never can i only have energy to lay in bed and i feel absolutely useless i cant seem to ever get as and even though i have a low a in one class right now i feel undeserving of it eating gives me pleasure but thats about it i dont like drawing anymore i dont like talking to people i can hardly get my work done everything in my room is messy because i have no motivation or energy to clean it i feel hopeless and isolated but i barricade myself from potential friends i feel like i must be doing something extremely wrong because no one talks to me and i dont talk to anyone i dont even like the two people i talk to on a steady basis  ,3.0
30922,why does my computer hate me so much internet keeps dyingfreezing ,2.0
30923,really great concert of the killers in hamburgunfurtunately only one encore ,2.0
30924,got to find some friends to follow  it will be kinds like eaves dropping on them ,0.0
30925,philslion i love how cute your post are nom ,0.0
30926,has had a twitter break recently back now tho  x,0.0
30927,ladies and gentlemen uxlondon can someone confirm to the internets that notxonhoj is actually at a conference ,0.0
30928,jmatthewflyzik haha thats the one where its like a tunnel right damn i freaked out walking through that ,0.0
30929,in pain  and the television is doing nothing to relieve any boredom,2.0
30930,carriehartford theyre not over keen on sharp sand eggshells or ash sprinkled around the plant either ,0.0
30931,rt drdannielle  cronsell explains why certain people use csfhttpstcosrjgnwpizq,1.0
30932,gabanti and taiforever check your emails for atl stalking details  and reply soon s,0.0
30933,im not sure if i even belong here im  years old i have no friends i just go to work and play video games i cant even make friends online i feel like i have some aura that makes people auto reject me or at the least ignore me i never fit into anywhere since elementary school i stopped trick or treating i never had people to invite to birthday parties nobody to ask for group projects i always hoped the teacher would force random groups nobody to eat lunch with the librarians were nice enough to let me sit in the library during lunch i feel like so often some people are just fake happy and i want to shake them out of that and bring them back to reality sometimes there are no happy endings shit happens i get so mad when i see people that have friends who care about them get lonely or down they actually got the gift of friendship and cant see the value of it its almost insulting to me i wanted to go to gaming conventions but realized i would actually just be going by myself should i just go anywayshow do i know which is the cause and effect of preferring to be alone and actually being alonei dont even want pity i just dont get whats wrong with me sorry for sleepless night thoughts lol i actually wouldnt be surprised or hurt if nobody reads this anyway ,3.0
30934,yesterdays yong tau foo was great  thank you love ,0.0
30935,a peek of what i did in the middle part of the day  invading changi airport      photo at httptwitxrcomherbertismupdates ,0.0
30936,xrisoulaoua ahh i  u tooampmiss u ive been soo busy since ive been homebut as of this thurs i can hang morelets plan something soon ,0.0
30937,eating kit kat ice cream ,0.0
30938,am i really human if part of the human experience is feeling emotions and sharing in those experiences with others does being an unfeeling recluse invalidate my humanityif i cant muster up a laugh at things that should be funny am i really human at all,3.0
30939,good morning just went throuch the checkpoint in paris and security took my creams away  ,2.0
30940,just joined a twibe visit httptwibescomdust to join ,0.0
30941,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
30942,ok ready to go off to see thrillhillbruce pinkpop wonder if ill bump into him around oxfam novib zelfdoen headquarters  ,0.0
30943,tommcfly it was amazing  well doneif ur still with them say thanks for a great night and demi  it was amazing,0.0
30944,mens clothing is so depressing being a man and going clothes shopping is an incredibly depressing experience  i look at the womens racks and see all those colors and shapes all the possible combinations all the different moods and themes of clothing that are possible in womens clothing and then i look at the mens section boring mens pants only comes in  colors blues blacks browns and greys  our shirts only come in  basic shapes tshirt and collared shirt and even then they only come in a few colors  wearing grey makes me feel grey  its so depressing being a man and going through racks and racks of male clothing and all the clothing seems to say to me is your ugly you deserve to wear ugly clothes you deserve to wear faded clothes you need to look like everyone else women deserve to stand out not you ,3.0
30945,elfiray november is still long time ahead ya fufufufu ,0.0
30946,lrkane you can wear thermals underneath nobody will notice ,0.0
30947,pwts are on late night w jimmy fallon tonight ,0.0
30948,i hate myself for feeling so sad when i hear about other peoples joys i feel like i cant be happy for my friends right now and i hate myself for it this is very recent and new for me what kind of person am i if i cant be happy for the joys in the lives of people i care aboutim at an age where my friends are getting houses getting married and starting families im ready for all of these things and want them for my life so much alas im not there everytime i hear about an engagement or pregnancy announcement i just want to burst in tears and i never thought i would be this person i hate that this is what i am right now and its so hard to talk about this to anyone  im finding it hard to feel genuinely happy for my friends because im just not happy for me i feel like i am getting left behind i also feel like the worst person in the worldi know i shouldnt compare myself to others but i cant help it i know age is just a number but as a female my fertile years are limitedi also feel totally selfish whining about this when were in the middle of a global pandemic what the actual fuck is wrong with me im crying as i write this and feel totally utterly pathetic because there are more serious things to worry about but i honestly cant seem to hold this tide of emotion right now and hating myself is making it even worse im sending myself in a vicious cycle has anyone else ever felt like this whether for the same reasons or different i would welcome any thoughts or experiences even just knowing im not alone would be everything,3.0
30949,the queue at the supermarket is huuuuge ,2.0
30950,jayyyx lmao you having your own partay there  enrique got a gril up onstage ,2.0
30951,queennaija i will continue and always support you girl its true what you said  everyday us as black people down ,0.0
30952,spending some quality time with my fender tele deluxetrue love ,0.0
30953,indyartgirl guess who got a new mac today hope that makes ya feel better enjoy the weekend dear ,0.0
30954,paramountnet shaunking a tragedy so so sad to even remember this happening and the horrifying outcome of that sham trial,2.0
30955,karlaaceae sad ,0.0
30956,brett and todd just leaving  dinner was amazing though,2.0
30957,is there something wrong with me these past six months i feel like ive been a completely different person im okay for the most part of the day but very trivial things change my mood from neutral to extremely irritated or extremely sad im becoming more sad everyday that passes and i do have good days but my bad ones are well bad it doesnt seem very big and theres more things i should be worrying about but i cant be genuinely happy anymore without feeling an ton of sadness a few moments later i dont know why i feel this way i dont understand ,3.0
30958,bill is dead and me thinks it aint got anything to do with beattrix kiddo you will be missed ,2.0
30959,i haaate being put on hold grr ,2.0
30960,is trying to make a cv not fun ,2.0
30961,watching my little sister try to roll this blunt is the funniest thing ever knowing neither one of us smoke or kno ,2.0
30962,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
30963,morning everyonealthough i was up a few hours agomy phone started going off at   must be the beginning of the week ,0.0
30964,chilly day in the outer bankshome tomorrow  thank god for middle bass in two weeks,2.0
30965,icklemedia yes very calming just what we need on a busy monday ,0.0
30966,missing him   yes i know you called it,2.0
30967,way too early to be up on a saturday but i couldnt go back to sleep ,0.0
30968,new bg ppl ,0.0
30969,jgbittersweet in terms of philippine presidency which number is ramos close enough ,0.0
30970,i am a fucking train wreck im a screw up and i low key wanna die im a horrible daughter and i dont make good grades anymore my parents shouldve had a better child than me because all i do is cause them to be sad and angry at me im a horrible person and i hate my body and i hate everything about myself i want it to end but i dont want to die at the same time half of my brain is suicidal while the other half is trying to convince me to not die and its like im at war all my friends say im a great person and im nice but i just cant bring myself to even believe im worth a penny my crush shouldnt even like me because im ugly and weird and stupid and a piece of crap i know i should be happy because i have a good life and i have friends but my mind keeps saying things to me like youre worthless and youre too fat you need to lose weight i always think im so annoying and overbearing and loud and i just cant with life anymoresorry if this is all jumbled up i just cant care that much anymore im writing my thoughts as they come,3.0
30971,avril lavigne  slipped away  rest in paradise great grandpa i miss you terribly ,2.0
30972,i need help now guys guys i just found this sub reddit and wanted to talk to you alli have been dealing with this shit for a long time i am  years old btwi was one that was always bullied at school and never told anyone about it keeping it all to myselfmy parents left each other when my mom was pregnant never got to see them together that to me hurts a loti dont get sleep i am always tired i dont have any energy to do some of the stuff i used to doi just lost my job because of shortage of worki still live at my dads house and i am alone most of the day everyday since they are at worki cant stand being aloneit makes me sick i also have a girlfriend that i have been with for  year and  months now and i must point that she is also my first girlfriend i know im a loser but as a kid i was always bulied and laughed at so yeah me and my girlfriend love each other so much but she still goes to school she is almost done but that makes it worst since i cant see her during the day but worse than that she told me a month ago that she needed more time for herself which she would have never done before and it scares me to dead she as a lot a male friend on her snapchat and that scares me even more like i sais i was used to being whit her everyday and npw i barely see her and it kills me inside i also live with anxiete which makes life even worse as i am always thinking of the worst possible scenarios and shit like that lately it as gotten so bad that i the thought of suicide came and it came a lot im fighting with myself everyday to keep going now on the bright side i decided it was time i oppened up and i finaly told my dad everything and booked a doctors appointement which is tommorow btwyet i cant help but think of all the bad that could happen what if the medication dont work what would i do then it always what if what if and it is gettin me even more down i need help,3.0
30973,puggliscious ive taken  different medications in the past  hours nothings worked ,2.0
30974,what a lovely evening dining alfresco ,0.0
30975,rtrtrtrt ,1.0
30976,ok tweeple im outta here for the night im taking my lil girl back to her mom tom  but ill get her again in  weeks,2.0
30977,i wish my roommates were coming home soon  maybe i should take a nap to waste time,2.0
30978,rt nviliera kpop tw really loves to put other artists down when someone cover their faves songs and its really sad because they put a lo,2.0
30979,nyassmineyasin ooo sebab tu stress,2.0
30980, but i want one too   how come you can have a pink doll and i cant ,2.0
30981,feeling sad all the time hi everyone from the age of  until now  ive been feeling like shit everyday  with periods of enthusiasm of getting getter  but now i came to the point when i believe i wont be a normal personi never told anyone how i suffer from depression anxiety and social anxiety  the fun part is that any time i go out of my house i put on myself a mask to not get caught even my parents do know what is happening to me i cant become close to new people   also i feel that none of my friends like me  and that makes me feeling alone all the time  in every interaction i have with people  i tend to overthinking what im doing  and think the worst  like im acting weird  stupid  etc    i try so hard to get a ride on depression and social anxiety but nothing seems to make feel better  i shouldnt feel this way  ive got a girlfriend that really loves me she doesnt know all of this done a lot of interesting  things in my life  played sports dont have money issues this is very exhausting  i cant keep living like this  im  so afraid of missing my entire life with this all this year i feel that i want to spend all the day in my bed dont have energy even to reply the messages of my girlfriend   and always hopeless about the future  could anyone escape from this black hole ps sorry for the writing  english is not my mother tongue,3.0
30982,im gonna be gone from  days so expect no updates then  ill tweet about when i get back,0.0
30983,insomuchpain ,2.0
30984, i am gettin old  lol thanks,2.0
30985,thatjonaskidjoe joe i will be on later i am helping my sister make a twitter sorry ,2.0
30986,fatdaddysweets that is very true would have been a nightmare trying to fill orders and etc during that i bet you will be swamped ,0.0
30987,jaredmaine sounds awsome  ,0.0
30988,finding cheap tix to chile for the summer ,0.0
30989, i hate college so much ,2.0
30990,amberstevens   its just so hott,0.0
30991,not sure if this belong here much like everyone here i have been struggling for awhile i decided to write a poem about it forgive me if this isnt the place for it just wanted to share maybe some of you can relate    im sorry you found out this way    im sorry i couldnt live or stay    im sorry i gave you all of this pain    im sorry that i ruined your day    im sorry for my fucked up brain    im sorry it told me to go away    im sorry im worthless okay    im sorry but its over today    im sorry you didnt hear what i had to say    im sorry you could never see things my way    im sorry you were too busy for me today    im sorry you left me alone to rot and decay    im sorry for all of the things that i did for you    im sorry for all those words that lifted you    im sorry for all my pain i ignored for you    im sorry i struggled in life for you    im sorry understanding my pain was too much for you    im sorry you chose them when i chose you    im sorry that youll make this all about you    im sorry i would do it all again for younot here looking for feedback or compliments just wanting everyone to know you arent alone we feel your pain lets keep fighting together ,3.0
30992,i feel crushed my crush of  years is pregnant with a random hookup from a pool party im  shes  never even had a girlfriend and shes had sex like  times and  boyfriendsits not even fair i always think about at night and get no sleep because shes  she cant even take care of it,3.0
30993,this matchup tonight is already giving me anxiety lmao,2.0
30994,weight gain from antidepressants just curious how many of you have experience with losing the weight you gained while on antidepressants i was on mirtazipine for about  months and i have gained a little over  lbs i thought i would lose the weight as soon as i had stopped taking the medication but this hasnt been the case for me can anyone relate to this will i eventually go back to my usual weight before this i had such a fast metabolism and i never gained weight no matter what i ate i have read mixed things about whether antidepressants just increase your appetite or if they also alter your metabolism,3.0
30995,mammasteph its not on guitar hero ,2.0
30996,anyone else told they look sad ive been commented on how i look sad or they say cheer up i respond by saying this is how i normally look does anyone else get this,3.0
30997,dougiemcfly so which one are you the good the bad or the ugly ,0.0
30998,valentines day is always my one major depressing day of the year it might sound ridiculous to some but valentines always seems to make me depressed this day is about emphasizing love and that special person in ones life being  ive never physically dated once online long distance if that even counts never been asked to be someones valentine never been asked to promgo on a date or even received a simple flower or card from anyone who has been interested in me as stupid as this might sound valentines day makes me feel so fucking shitty i just dont want to be reminded that it sucks to be alone it really hurts so muchi always question whats wrong with me i try my best to look good focus on losing weight and my personality is outgoing and fun while most of my friends are now getting engaged i sit home alone wondering why i exist its like im an invisible human who isnt regarded by anyone especially the opposite sex i had to vent this and get it off my shoulder because this is the one day of the year that makes me incredibly sad fuck valentines day ,3.0
30999,getting ready for work android phone locked up last night when i attempted a full reboot had to do factory reset ,2.0
31000,therapy ive been working on killing myself through starvation and dehydration for two days i was scrolling through all of this and i was wondering whats the point of therapy hows it supposed to help you complaining sounds fun and all but i can do that here and have and it doesnt help me at all i still wanna kill myself and if i have enough self control i will,3.0
31001,rt mochimanggae hows a liscensed mental health professional out here calling ppl that share stories about their own mental health throug,1.0
31002,first morning in  weeks that i have woke up sick i thought i was over the hump but i guess not ,2.0
31003,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
31004,donnatalarico for some reason i want to call you and shout quotthats what she saidquot ,0.0
31005,lindagranillo if it ever loads lol it is my usuall mppb vid ,2.0
31006,sippin a heineken and tokin my bong tryin to get over the cavs loss ,2.0
31007,today has been another awesome day hope youve all had one as well ,0.0
31008,i dont feel human ive never felt normal but there are a lot of people out there claiming that theyre not normal but their kind of not normal falls within normal range if that makes sense i wish i had that omg im weird problems its like im not human i dont feel i deserve to feel not even sadness emotions are meant for humans not me im not deserving of love either not that i have ever gotten it people see the inhuman in me and they keep their distance i literally dont have one single friend and i say that genuinely not that fake omg i dont have friends while their phone is blasting with notifications i only have three people on my contact lists my mom my sister and landlord i moved to three cities in different countries and still cant make friends my roommates in all three countries all avoid me i dont know why im posting this i dont know anymore,3.0
31009,i cant imagine his sad face,2.0
31010,struggling taking my antidepressants i actively want to take my antidepressants sertraline they were prescribed and try my best to but everytime i get to them i get this sort of sinister feeling that they will do me worsemy friends tell me to not take the pills and that they will only do me harm my dad tells me i shouldnt take them because im too young to he medicated and he refuses to believe it and tells me he didnt raise a crazy person now i get anxiety taking them and i have no idea what to dowhat should i do,3.0
31011,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,1.0
31012, just sending some of that cleveland energy ur way ,0.0
31013,me whenever i look at old photos of myself i cannot help but wonder what happened to him its like the old me is alive somewhere but i cant find him my personality now is more of if you dont have friends you wont be hurt old me was so much more lively and didnt care what anyone thought it tears me apart most days because i am conflicted on who i am fortunately enough i do have a temporary source of happiness my mothers friends little kid for some reason or another i see a piece of little me and it makes me happy even though he is only  and doesnt talk but so much when he does say something to me he always says i love you when he gives me a hug before i leave it can almost make me cry because its like im saying goodbye to a piece of me even though im not related to him in any way its almost like he is my little brother something which i always wanted but never gotsometimes he is the only reason i want to keep going on sorry if this post was all over the place,3.0
31014,cake ice cream amp the hills no school tomorrow  im so relaxedd,0.0
31015,frisbeelee already know the answer to that one  dont we ,0.0
31016,ontheflydc going today to zoo smartkart  will say i follow u on twitter thx  ,0.0
31017,not a happy camper roomates went to see the hangover with out me and my tan plan is not workin burned me tummy  lol,2.0
31018,mikehole  just tried and fail ,2.0
31019,found the new chatroom ,0.0
31020,i think he should go back to lord north  dont mind what dad says ,0.0
31021,off to the art museum  and totally ignoring the horrendous pain im in,0.0
31022,why is she already this wise af mad props to her ,0.0
31023,emmry cramps  but im good,2.0
31024,kaitlinhiggins see you there ,0.0
31025,shout out to this fresh pack of skittles ima bout to go in on ,0.0
31026, buut i dont really think that nora k konzidemi miley amp selena had have operations  they are rich and natural beautys dude,0.0
31027,i feel so so sick ugh three more hours and i can go home only to be back in here at    ,2.0
31028,hookbill  theyre so small and terrible of course this was also accidental but i do feel horrible and do blame myself,2.0
31029,ive been getting cheated on for years i ended up finding saved snaps messages and pictures between  different guys while we have been together there was a short time we werent together and i kept trying to add up like maybe it was back then but no even if why is this shit saved and you still talk to these guys even as friends we just had a fucking baby im so devastated im so hurt im coming off of meds that were messing with my emotions and now im fucked i dont know what to do or even bring this up im just im broken i want to die but i cant i have a baby to look after im so hurt i dont even know what to do or why im even typing this here just a rant i guess im sorry,3.0
31030,drowning in a sea of sadness when will life ever get better everyday just seems to get worse i struggle to find any meaning in the things i do because they all seem to be worthless im already losing my will to live  the anxieties loneliness and insecurities are all suffocating me  i just want this suffering to end  but somehow i can never save myself from drowning in this sea of depression,3.0
31031, omg just remembered soooo sorry that i havent given back your books yet ,2.0
31032,who isnt depressed seriously it seems like everyone i meet nowadays is depressed and that ironically makes me feel even more depressed idk maybe its just a teenager thing high school is where depression was invented hopefully more people start to feel more alive and happy with themselves ,3.0
31033,super computer has passed think hard drive got fried in storm last night  very sad,2.0
31034,well my trusty ipod and some blues podcasts should take care of the rest ,0.0
31035,spoonhouse sea urchin with seaweed pastayummmy  ,0.0
31036,  i liked it so i think i just might put a ring on it  ohoooohhhhhhhhhhhhhbill hader ,0.0
31037,mahafreed danishk i agree if u r not in it or not a garment exporter u have no rights to remain in office for so long ,0.0
31038,that room will be an oven too ,2.0
31039,bluefrez thank yougnight to you too ,0.0
31040,how can i help my partner understand and deal with my depression first of all im mot a native speaker so sorry for any mistakes i hope i can get some advice heremy boyfriend and i havent been together for a long time yet but i told him about my depression selfharm history and my panic attacks quite early in our relationship so far i was feeling a lot better but during the holidays i fell back into my own little dark place and especially today i barely talked and wasnt really able to get myself to do somethinghe was worried especially when i told him that i worry that ive got the need to hurt myself again even though ive been clean for about  months now he promised me that he would be there for me but admitted that he doesnt know how he can help me i worry that my depression can put a strain on our relationship but i love him and even if sometimes i think it would be easier to give up push him away and keep him from seeing me this way i want to fight this mindset to be with him so any advice would be appreciated on how i can help him understand me better or maybe just what your partner does when you feel really bad i will talk to him and try to explain what i want and need when i feel down but it would be nice to hear what others do to help their depressed partnersthank you,3.0
31041,benbrucato haha thats nuts did you get the new curve its ahhhmazingggg ,0.0
31042,restinghave to go into work tonight at  sucks blows my whole weekendcouldnt get anyone to work excuse me while i pout ,2.0
31043,anightintoronto yeah lmfao i heard it doesnt work in cold weather too and i live in canada so lol wat is the pointlt i love my curve ,0.0
31044,youngsicc check yo dm  ,0.0
31045,i cold turkeyed my welbutrin been on it since middle of november at  ive been just as up and down on it perhaps worse im not sure i had my last  wednesday afternoon im managing okay so i figure ill be fine kinda sucks this was a med i used a few years ago to good effect i didnt even feel the same sides this time around nor did it have the same impact if any at all so now i guess im back to pretending i can do it all by myself without any assistance,3.0
31046,really microsoft i cant put xbla games on my amazon wishlist ,2.0
31047, i was trying to be funnyi meani asked u that  hrs ago ,0.0
31048,defeated i woke up today with a heavy feeling on my chest not that heavy to make me cry but heavy enough to know that theres something there and its wrong its been several hours and i still havent gotten up from my bed yet i feel helpless it seems like all i can do is to hope that this will go away tomorrow,3.0
31049,i had a headache all day ,2.0
31050,bootcamp on macbook currently splitting time between leopard and windows  cant seem to stick to one ,2.0
31051,petyosi hristodeshev това antigeek �е заформи като ваш �об�твен subspace в twitter   httpbitlyebshd  ама вече и аз �ъм вътре,0.0
31052,life is so crazy i love it though  god is awesome allllwaysss remember that,0.0
31053,petrilude yessits high time you quoted a britney spears song on here  lol,0.0
31054, you are most welcome as always good sir ,0.0
31055,gtvone you lucky bugger the hoods kick ass cant believe i am going to miss them  cries,2.0
31056,i choked on that pill i cant swallow it delete this tweet it triggers my anxiety 💀,2.0
31057,everything i say is stupid i keep trying to write a post to vent and to maybe get some of this off of my back but every single time i type something or say something to anyone im just stuck thinking how dumb i sound how im not smart enough how no one fucking cares about me anyway maybe thats why no one ever starts a conversation with me maybe thats why my best friend only uses me when theres no other option it doesnt even matter what i say the minute i say it its stupid my voice sounds so wobbly and exaggerated and dumb i keep thinking about what if i had a deeper voice what if i was a guy what if i actually got the guts to transition i just want to be held sometimes my best friend will cuddle with me but i know im never his first choice maybe if i wasnt a fucking dumb virgin he wouldve actually considered me romantically im trying to get another job and move out of my parents but whats the fucking point who cares if i move out ill still be dumb and depressed and no one will give a shit about me no one likes talking to me when i get like this every close relationship ive had has ended badly i just dont want to exist a lotsometimes i think about what would happen if i died and honestly it cheers me up a little some bad part of me wants everyone else to feel as bad as i do cause fuck this is every day being alone and being useless staying in bed the entire day im too dumb to kill myself though id probably fuck it up still wanna do it though,3.0
31058,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
31059,craving for some sweet and cold stuffs  ice cream ,0.0
31060,rt itsmattbarrett hey my names matt i have awful anxiety crippling depression and daddy issues,2.0
31061,i have no will to do anything and i hate myself for it so all my life i have been a very determined and disciplined person depression has been a big part of my life since i hit puberty more or less however ive always remained functional i had goals and ambitions things i looked forward to and through that determination and discipline i could focus on those things without letting that lingering dread and my no existent social life overpower mei went off to university on the other end of the country to study my dream career i was sixteen at the time and over the course of three years i built a life that helped me cope i had friends i loved and who loved me i had a healthy social life exercised regularly and had a healthy diet i was becoming the person id always wanted to be there were nasty elements in those three years dont get me wrong i have a history of self harm that none of my family members know about and i attempted to kill myself when i was away from home not even my friends know about this but overall i feel like my life there was happy i managed to copebut then i had to move back home a couple of years ago because among other things the government cut funding to my university and hyperinflation rendered it impossible for my parents to sustain me up there so i transfered to a university in my hometown had to change majors and move back with my family i feel lost and anxious and unsafe i actively attempted to make new friends among my classmates but the environment is completely different from the one at my old university people are so different with a mindset i dont share im not fulfilled by my classes or my new major and i feel a little clueless as to what i want to do with my degree once i graduate next year it doesnt help that im graduating late and everything is a reminder of that i used to be the youngest person in the classroom and now my classmates are one or two years younger than me so although my setback is not my fault riots and professor strikes set me back three semesters i feel like a failure when i think ill be graduating at  years old and not  as i had intendedbecause of my familys current economic situation and my inability to find a part time job due to university schedules i cant really afford a gym or anything like that and i feel like ive used that as an excuse to let myself go i cant find the motivation to exercise on my own at home and running around the block is not an option i found myself in the middle of a gunfight about a month ago a block away from my home and going out on my own now fills me with anxiety and fear so im permanently sad about putting on all the weight i fought so hard to lose as well as how mean people are about it finally i used to write short stories devour books and do a bit of drawing i feel like all of that is gone obliterated kaput it takes me so long to reach the middle of a page i have to read lines over and over again because i cant focus on them same with my writing and drawing i feel like im no longer myself like i have no will to do anything like im becoming this blob of a person who only ever feels sad or bored or numb i feel awful with myself any advice is more than welcome,3.0
31062,filming for emi gospel tomorrow am leaving after to film an artist in atlanta weds am  back to nash to film another artist thurs pm  ,0.0
31063,toyhorses the feeling is mutual you sound even better now that you are not coming out of computer speakers ,0.0
31064,joyinc thanks  what are the plans now then  are you gonna call me when you are on your dinner,0.0
31065,im so ready for it to be over i honestly fucking hate being alive and its bad for me to kill myself people are forcing me to be alive when i absolutely fucking hate it im not happy and i dont know how to be i do not want to be alive why cant i just chose to die right now why does everyone take all the sharp objects or lock away anything i can use to hurt myself i do not enjoy being alive so why do i have to do it why cant i just fucking die already i want to take the easy route and just not be alive anymore,3.0
31066,browniemusic i hope you feel better soon ,0.0
31067,but now im hungry i think my mom is making some yummy food ,0.0
31068,gcellz oh no g  i took a sick day today and now i feel good ,2.0
31069,kalimera from a very windy cloudy ionian beach thankfully no rain but the sailings off and i cant see many coming over from patras ,2.0
31070,bricked my iphone trying to upgrade to  ,2.0
31071,happy bday mommy ,0.0
31072,vano is on her way to london  im missing her ,2.0
31073,urgh it feels rather hard to wake up today   probably headed to zandvoort today which fyi is a beach with a racing circuit next to it,2.0
31074,its follw me friday dammit yup if i dont do it who will  lololol wwwonthebsidecom,0.0
31075,how do you talk to someone with depression hello ive been i guess you can say internet friends with someone now recently she has revealed to me that she has been off her meds without her psychiatrist knowing i encouraged her to talk with her psychiatrist which was fucking stupid because you know but im not sure i convinced her she told me that she doesnt have the energy to respond to people anymore now what would you do in a situation like this i want to help her get better but i dont know her irl thank you for any of your responses,3.0
31076,danielb i dont actively support west ham its genetic a family trait i cant help it ,2.0
31077,last saturday shift from  thanks chase ,0.0
31078,i dont know whats happening im  and some high school bullshit put me in depression for a solid  months last winter my parents are from russia and they dont believe in mental illness and depression it went away and its slowly coming back and im so so scared because i can go out and have a wonderful day with my friends and come home and just cry for hours and even when im happy it doesnt really feel like im happy i dont know what im gonna do in life and im not smart and have no interests and im so tired of the town i live in and the people i have to see everyday i know im young but its so miserable and i know ill never kill myself because of my family and im a pussy and fuck man i just wanna be happy,3.0
31079,amberstrocel thanks i needed that ,0.0
31080,this is so fucking awesome and sad at the same time,1.0
31081,quotwhaling ends todayquot  ltlti cant wait for whale warsjune  ,0.0
31082,feastfresh yes apparently the ca turns cocaine into crack or whatever i must look like a crack addict  where is the recipe for the c ,2.0
31083,rt  from meditation  human can lose anger anxiety depressioninsecurity fear of old age and death  quote lord bu ,1.0
31084,what constitutes anhedonia hi if im wrong to ask this here could someone please direct me to a subreddit that can answer my questionim just wondering if one was showing symptoms of apathyanhedonia would it still be within the bounds of the diagnosis for them to become very emotional in situations such as arguments or at times of stress or should they always remain calmdeflatedand what if they can still enjoy some activities but always seem to come down quickly andor feel like that the happiness was hollow and fleetingim just trying to get a clearer idea of what anhedonia is like in the context of depressionthanks in advance,3.0
31085,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
31086,is moving to tempe today  and might be trippin up to flagstaff for the night ,0.0
31087,still working on that uvwebsitecheck out wwwmyspacecomurbanvoracity til its finished ,0.0
31088,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
31089,lost someone today today i found out that an old friend from highschool decided to take his life he had been dealing with deppression in his life and resorted to drugs which unfortunately led him astray although he was a friend that i hadnt talked to or seen in a very long time i still feel for his family who im sure is having a hard time coping with his loss this guy was my age  and i dont know all the details about his life but i just want to say that it doesnt matter who it is and doesnt matter what face the person may try to portray out to the world depression can happen to anyone even our own family we have to power to simply ask how someone is doing and potentially be the thing that stops someone from taking their lives so please stop and take time to check up on your friends and family and ask how they are doing you never know the battle someone may be fighting also if anyone here needs to talk about anything please feel free to talk to me i am here for you dancastrejongmailcom,3.0
31090,but i do get to bunk work on medical grounds  but a fat lot thats gonna do me i can only lie on bed and stare at the ceiling ,2.0
31091,what do you do every day when youre suffering depression i really wanna know how other people live their life i know myself too much but have no clue what depression is like to othersthanks ,3.0
31092,brentspiner colm meany i had to laugh  they could be related couldnt they lol,0.0
31093,watching shortie st ,0.0
31094,worlddistances similar to the waterford  rosslare route  interesting knowledge how did u come to the idea of such infotweet,0.0
31095,luzar sureeeeomgif my sister returns my phone ill text u  and yeahaarons barely in the the onward and upward album,0.0
31096,it is very difficult to do a beautiful manicure by myself ,2.0
31097,i am definitely feeling my new layout ,0.0
31098,shonenstoffe yeah i know it was so warm that you melt but anyway i thought that this week was the last one but i saw that it wasnt ,2.0
31099,i dont feel good  its been on and off all day i blame kassie i cannot be sick i have a lot to do tomorrow amp have a chorus concert,2.0
31100,ogberry aww night  sorry for going spazz mode daddy lol,2.0
31101,damn missed skyways and niazi too have to go via gt road now ,2.0
31102,getting ready for the floodgates of patients to open ,2.0
31103,i am alone a couple of years ago when i was in my previous dip i found a chatroom filled with people who shared that with me i need someone who gets it to talk to does anybody have a link,3.0
31104,cheeptweeter wendywings wow i cant imagine being married now partly because i dont even have a guy in my life ,2.0
31105,so tired its painful all the caffeine sleep and nicotine doesnt help im just so bored and it hurts to exist it feels so stressful to even make this post but i just wanted to let it out since my psychiatrist isnt really understanding i will probably delete this because i cant even think,3.0
31106, took a dump ,2.0
31107,if money crashes most citizens will be finethey were during depressionglobalist r afraid  their agenda  us will ,1.0
31108,i have to order something that wont have me looking like a hog this will be hard ,2.0
31109,mollywood  that happend to me to  i lost all my data with ,2.0
31110,well if anyone has any awesome seats for dmb  let me knowive had bad dmb concert luck this year ,2.0
31111,sad over a phone i originally came to this site to post my gofundme link i found you need to be on site for a time before being able to do so  i found this topic and read so many stories and made hopefully positive comments to others never really thought i be making my own story my life has been a down hill adventure for long time i have issues in my past that haunt me and i see therapist for them been in therapy from age  until now i have come a long ways and yet at times i fall back some i hold positive things as much as i can in my world of negativemy sister killed herself in  my mother broken by this killed herself in  leaving me wondering if i was just not enough to stay alive for i moved on best i could my grandmother one of my closest family members passed away suddenly in april of  so much was added to my plate i was living with her as i went to college and helped her the best i could still feels weird being in this house without her and i rarely am able to go into her room to clean up and donate things was not done with my heart ache my closest uncle became ill while here for my grandmothers funeral it was his mother his sickness turned into the same thing my grandmother died of in december  the doctors said they could do nothing and he passed away with his wife and daughter by his side do to my situation i was unable to go to the funeral or be there for my aunt and cousin in their time of need this was an added hit to me and i locked the feelings away got drunk as wellduring the time my uncle was ill i did all i could to help him and his family which added to my financial strain never regret it i had part time job at the college and was able to at least keep up on bills even my almost  credit card debt after college winter break was over i was ready to get back to work only to find that the photography department was going to be dismantled due to low enrollment i was told my job was no longer available like i just wanted to let it all out all the tears i hold backi have some medical issues and finding work is hard enough without them but i continue to try i started selling all i could on ebay and found something online to try and make some money not a respectable job for me i feel not going into it i came to a point were bills coming due and bank was  so i put up the one thing i was so proud to be able to get at the time my iphone  it was only  months oldhow so much changed in short time my phone just sold tonight its a damn phone yet i feel great loss in now having to ship it away i do not do social media so its not like i was on it all the time like most but some how it meant so much to meothers may see this as stupid to be sad over a phone but maybe some of you do understand it somehow clearly its only a replaceable item a thing but aside from my camera and my artwork it was really the last thing i owned that mattered to me i have no friends family is fading away no girlfriend or wife and a girl i felt strongly about has currently disappeared from me aside from my cousin and aunt i am close to no one but even they do not know what i have given up or of my current situation i chose not to tell them due to part of why i have gotten to the point of selling my beloved phone is because i helped themanyways im just feeling down with all i been through in life all that has happened recently and now seeing my phone sold i need the money and its just a damn phone but still sadi will back my phone up and begin to pack it up in the morning after finding this topic i thought wow maybe i could help someone with my words and experience never intended to make my own post talking about myself if anyone reads this i hope more than anything that your situations are better that you are doing ok i really would take the weight of the world if i could just so all would be ok even if i was not,3.0
31112,pickle juice snowcones rock my world    ,0.0
31113,hadsie wow didnt know youre leaving well definitely miss you is the disposable website thing related to �gir ,0.0
31114,coffeeplus yes love that one apparently it was on last night n i missed it ,2.0
31115,rachelstarlive or at least one of them ,0.0
31116,nap time would be a lot better with my best friend here ,2.0
31117,i think im having my first major depressive episode so as im writing this my heart is pumping and i feel slightly nauseous you had my first hopelessdepression induced panic attack it was so horrible so a bit of background to me i moved out at  at a point i was considering suicide extremely unhappy and unstimulated so i moved to london thinking id have an amazing life automatically i became lazy and ended up loving in hostels didnt work had some bad experiences with people that made me lack self esteem and o slowed a shot tonne of weed meaning i have pushed a lot of the things i wanted to do back for weed and laziness after  years of day in day out isolating myself in my   room doing absolutely nothing i love no music no creating things just sat around smoking doing nothing by the age of  i had a change around in my mind lots of regret and immediate shock of what ive just done for  years of my life i moved into my mums we have issues as shes a a narcissist i still love her i didnt get a job again and started live streaming on periscope day in day out pretty much taking my social interaction from that  i currently have  best friend andy family i feel very lucky to have my family but i feel like im ok no mans land like im floating i dont exist anywhere because i have nothing to show from my past life so at the age of  i finally moved into my new flat be shes im now self employed doing a form of sex work without the nudes  financial domination i feel so different to everyone else anyway i thought my flat was my main goal what i wanted and my main source of happiness then when i moved in the initial excitement left after decorating suddenly i stared having a few depressive days but nothing like the day i woke up and wanted to be dead instantly afraid of my thoughts and reality i tried to come out of it shower dress and get up and go to town  i had nothing to do in town just tried to set myself a goal on my way back i could feel emotions coming up i was starting to feel panicked and so so scared of thinking of my reality then i got inside my house and burst hyperventilating my face and arms and fingers were tingling my head lightheaded crying uncontrollably as though someone had died my chest was so tight and i could barely breathe  id never experienced anything like this because my panic was induced by my reality not by one specific thing like maybe public speaking i panicked because of how miserable and hopeless i feel its  days later ive had to leave my flat with my kitten and go to my nans my thought process has been the same since the panic attack i feel as though im in a prison death is the only way out no body gets it and nobody can help thats how i feel but im very self aware more than i have been before im so so cared of my thoughts everything thats meant to be a positive is a negative and i just cant see light at the end im so so scared i dont know when this will go away i can barely smile or laugh im in constant turmoil i dont want to go back to my brand new flat i worked so hard to get i feel so lost and confused whats happening to me i really hope people read this far and can maybe relate to me i havent explained it all i dont know when this will end but currently it doesnt feel like it will,3.0
31118,anyways tl topic is depression and im comfortable in who i am and its jarring having to hear shit like this every ,0.0
31119,turning depressed over not being able to help someone i added a girl on snapchat  days ago now that i know who i added i remember seeing this girl walk around in my previous school sometimesshe is a cute and probably nice girl she just turned  im  btw and i remember her always sitting alone in the schoolbreaksaccording to my younger nephew she is a lonely and bullied girl because her parents are broke and abbusiveshe is just so cute and seems very nice in her snapchats she cant deserve this if its all trueif she has any problems i would gladly help her with anything she needs help with or whatever cheers her upmy reputation in our town is very high sounds selfish but its true so i could help her handle with bullies or whatsoeveri just feel super sorry for her  and i really want to ask her if she is okay but what if my nephews stories are not  true then she would think im crazy and call me a creepi feel like shit for not being able to do something for her and it makes me sad thinking about her situationso yes i feel like i really care about her even though i personally dont know heri always seem to get into these weird situations but oh welany advice or commentseverything is welcome if im overreacting then tell me so,3.0
31120,rt  school hasnt started yet but my stress has,2.0
31121,i am objectively a bad person •i am selfish•i am judgemental•i am stupid •i am lazy•i have no motivation •i dont think right•i am manipulative•i always have an ulterior motive•i dont do things that arent for my immediate benefit•my emotions are wonky•my memory is bad•i hate myself •i simultaneously want help but when i am confronted i am extremely shy•i am uncreative•i dont care about anything•i am incredibly quick to anger the fastest this side of the mississippi in fact 😂•i am very critical•i am very hypocritical•i am not good at conversation •i do everything for my selfbenefit•i have widely different ways of thinking that randomly come into play it seems like•i dont do things i dont want to•i dont care about my appearance oftentimes •i am a horrible person•i am incredibly stupid•possible mood swings•i cant seem to gather up the motivation to do what i love to do most science•i am so dumb•i hate myself•i give up•i am slow mentally physically you name it •nothing matters to me •lack empathy a lot i think•i want something to be wrong with me because then it can be fixed but i also dont want something to be wrong see ways of thinking also see reason i am posting this•im a horrible personthank you for reading this 😊,3.0
31122,so bored found out i cant touch my nose with my tongue  sad times lmao,2.0
31123,rt sosadtoday its my depression and ill do what i want with it,1.0
31124,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
31125,ppl on reddit some are very nice and helpful but some are so mean and try to joke or rude to u also it seems like depend on sub some sub ppl are so asshole ppl on this sub are very kind thank you all ,3.0
31126,kiddkraddick i miss listening to your show  our radio broke at work im trying to get  lol,2.0
31127,efssecretdghter cause no one was talking to me ,2.0
31128,i just bought one of the cheesiest polish films ever but i liked it haker  httpisgdjodv,0.0
31129,hosting neon nights live   ssradioukcom ,0.0
31130,gellybelly yuckky good luck ,0.0
31131,i am so excited about thursday and friday thursday  hair colour change  friday  showing it off at the fair with the crewww ,0.0
31132,pcdmelodyt oh my gosh  please go better soon  i dont want another doll to be out of the show  ,2.0
31133,is wondering if anyone else sees the babyface in the full moon tonight ,0.0
31134,is still waiting for a reply i gotta feeling ill be waiting a while  if at all x x,2.0
31135,just good news for once this isnt really important i just felt like saying iti finally got a girlfriend i actually feel as if the depression leaves me when im with her im here to say that somehow eventually things get better i hope everyone who browses this sub can find someone who helps you as much as she helps me,3.0
31136, lmao i aint swole yet im tryna be like you i still got  more weeks of these bullshit classes ,2.0
31137, cant blame peepsconcoction of emotion frustration desperation hope anxiety excitement our ,1.0
31138,its a mental disorder for someone to believe in talking antsflying horses ,2.0
31139,depression starts at  ,2.0
31140,is feeling weird from dinner food cant trust her own cooking but  least loving her new phone ,0.0
31141,rt madeforv feeling sad here i am to remind you that theres no run bts on tuesdays anymorelets all suffer together httpstcoe,2.0
31142,every time i see a post about colorism it makes me sad that its such a big problem within our community,2.0
31143,im so tired coming from a bbq with friends i miss u baby ,2.0
31144,such posts will have adverse affect to  extend of  ruining you people  rather than effecting in any manner to the ,1.0
31145,rt pattypororo никто не сможет переубедить меня в том что  этого фандома читает why you sad намджуновым голосом при этом  каждый р,2.0
31146,my story i was always a happy kid up until my second year at high school where the insults came in i was a  thirteen yr old so i was a very easy target for people to insult my height lanky girraffe and people always poking fun at me because i was very skinny at the time i couldnt go  seconds without someone trying to trip me up or pushing me into a wall it was just little occurrences that slowly started to break me down and eventually this led to anxiety and anger issues youll see later i couldnt go to school without throwing up or extreme nausea because i knew what was going to happen that day eventually i got a week off to collect my thoughts so i decided i would have a fight to stop people picking on me and people would respect me this worked in the short run but i needed to find new ways to gain attention so i became a class clown spending the entire year disrespecting teachers and making everyone laugh this worked in class but at lunch i felt lonely and unaccepted so i started to hang out with a new group every lunch this led to me being called a tag along and no one talking to me but at that point i was on the verge of being expelled so i didnt exactly care at home i had a very sad existence smoking weed and drinking every night just to escape normality sitting on my roof thinking just how easy it would be if i jumped off and ended it i realised this was not the way to go but i still had thoughts plaguing my mind whenever my mind started to wander when the summer holidays came in i wasted two months by myself on my laptop playing skyrim in the dark of my room my parents didnt care because they were on holiday for the entirety of the  weeks my grandma was unaware of what i was doing as she couldnt even get up the stairs to check on me after a day of lounging around and binge eating i decided my life was still worth living if i got in shape and started boxing or something so i started to feel better about myself and my appearance my height was not really a problem anymore as over the summer a few of the boys had outgrown me and my growth was stunted at  i still had the same problems at school and i was temporarily moved to another school to see if i would behave there  this was my schools method of kicking people out just after that i had a sudden shift in mind and decided to start behaving but this was hindered by me beating up a student in the year above because people were picking on me againi had a  day suspension but other than that i was fine but thats when the thoughts started to creep back in so decided to numb myself with drugs again this did not help in the end as the weed i had smoked was laced with heroin and from then on it was a rocky broadfor the next couple of weeks i had about  overdosed and on the last one my mum heard my collapse so i was grounded for a monthshe did not want to get me help as it would cost too much so here i ami just recently discovered reddit from being on my phone for  days and ive started drinking again,3.0
31147,either i have unfollowed all the mental health activists here and forgot all about them or they have finally run ou ,1.0
31148,rt  im at a horrible scene in astoria  dead preliminary information suggests murdersuicide one of the victims is a ,2.0
31149,renems enviei rs ,0.0
31150,tommcfly please dont forget french fans  we are here  ,2.0
31151,urbanape fast isnt it ,0.0
31152,whats the default browser at your workplace   scary shit is  has a  share ,2.0
31153,rt goodmiad more of a stress reliever you feel better dont you ,1.0
31154,benshapiro hasanthehun its wierder to write anti porn books about how sad the girls you jerk off to are,2.0
31155,and with after putting on my mary jane shoe and stayin up till  at work ,2.0
31156,one of the final episodes of pushing daisies airs tonight on abc ,2.0
31157,update  listenin to quotparty all the timequot by black eyed peas    updates ouvindo black eyed peas quotparty all the timequot ,0.0
31158,is one step closer to the california filming trip  the dreaded ivisa has been granted  whoop whoop ,0.0
31159,just made chicken tacos for dinner quite delic now time for the gym ,0.0
31160,there has not been anything today that hasnt caused me anxiety please give me a break,1.0
31161,boo hoo sad story build a bridge and get tf over it 🤷🏽 whats done is done,2.0
31162, anyway  good afternoon twamily hows everyones monday going so far  mine is going great cause no one had pissed me off yet ,0.0
31163,hopes everyone is having fun sucks i had to leave ,2.0
31164,campainer i cant help but be annoying ,0.0
31165,random question does anyone else ever get the random urge to get your life together in the middle of the night,3.0
31166,dancerswearpink i like ur hair long like that girl i looks good  miss ya my twin,0.0
31167,i cant make up my mind on anything im not sure if i have depression or not i think mostly that my thoughts that i have depression only come from me wanting attention i probably just am having hormones or something because i am a teenager but i could still use help nonethelessi have no personality my friends im not sure if i see them as my friends because they are assholes but again i think its just hormones fucking with my brain always tell me how boring and bland my personality is i think they are correct i have no hobbies and i just sleep all day the few moments im awake is me doing something for someone else or playing video games which isnt as much a hobby as much as just something to keep me from hating myself i also havent felt much good emotions in around  years mostly my emotions are either being bored sad mad at myself stressed worthlessness or being hornyi wouldnt describe myself as nice or an asshole my only characteristic that anyone knows me by is my sarcasmi cant make up my mind on what i want to be though i want to be extremely cool and be something similar to a role model to encourage people to be better at the same time prepare for extreme cringy edgeness i want to be an edgy fuck who dresses in black and loves vampires because i think that would still be better then being me i have many other things i want to be but i cant make up my mind and i just sleep,3.0
31168,dukeanddjango i can always count on chary to be the little spoon ,0.0
31169,i feel like a failure today more than i do on a daily basis anyway i skipped my morning class because i didnt want to leave my bed went in for another class but ended up going home because i started crying i dont even know why i keep having these vivid intrusive thoughts of committing suicide i cant deal with myself anymore i dont know how i have a university interview on wednesday but i dont even know if ill be alive to go to university so whats the point im in therapy and im taking medication but im not getting any better im tired of floating through life im done existing but not living ,3.0
31170,lartist five hot asian moms want me in bed ,0.0
31171,kirkstweeting hope your day was a good one though  no more losin tweeps errors begone,0.0
31172,hell yea done with school chillin with my girlfriend ready for summer ,0.0
31173,man i gotta wait a whole  year it seems like for lost to start again ,2.0
31174, awww i miss you too and if anyone can appreciate randomness its you  aww soo many laughs we have had hahahaha,0.0
31175, will tell u alles later k   love u   ,0.0
31176,my anxiety and last brain cell deciding how im going to deal with any minor inconvenience,1.0
31177,india out of  word cup ,2.0
31178,ugh i hate being grounded and my mother is being sooo retarded  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,2.0
31179,rt anneortelee  edt venus semisquares the sun theres a little stress between being all about it and how you can actually get it d,2.0
31180,finally home  gonna hit the hay n sleep till noon lol,0.0
31181,this hit me pretty hard saw  come along and it hit me pretty hard there are people out there that pay for a strangers game console yet in the meantime my parents wouldnt even pay for my studieswhat makes it even worse is that people dont even mind that she games yet i couldnt hear the end of it while doing it myself i got judged a lot for itthis post just kinda reminded me what was missing in my childhood didnt i deserve support why wasnt i loved an accepted like that it makes me feel very sad but maybe im just being petty thx for taking the time to read pls dont let it get you down one person suffering from this sad is enough dont let it be you as well ,3.0
31182,seeing my puppy upset about the loss of his manhood coupled with the cone around his neck is breaking my heart ,2.0
31183,josephranseth may i add to that quote quotand share itquot i do believe success comes from what we share not only what we know ,0.0
31184,jinxx did you get my dms ,0.0
31185,  so not fair wish i could play thoses levels for  hours ,2.0
31186,i am tired tired of having no money when i work  hours a week tired of having to keep up with all my bills tired of having to be the strong one for everyone tired of having to go do what i have to do to make ends meet im just so tired of everything parents have to leave the country and i have to be more responsible for my siblings and i have to pay for so much things and im in so much debt and i cant keep up with everything and im so fucking depressed but i make it seem like im okay only person who knows im not okay at all is my girlfriend but i dont talk to her about how i feel what can she do she cant do anything im too fucked up for her to actually help me or do something to make me feel better when im with her im happy but deep down im just so fucking sad and miserable that i cant  enjoy my time with her and it fucking sucks why am i like this i just want everything to end but i cant i am trying so hard and im not getting anywhere in a month ill be  i have too much going on and i know if it keeps being like this im going back to smoking and start the alcoholic stage of my life im so tired i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
31187,oh no farrah fawcett has passed away  what a week,2.0
31188,oh yeah i forgot what colour dress should i get for the ball the theme is quotlas vegasquot   please reply,0.0
31189,still trying to figure out this twitter thing wish i had a blackberry going to start the hookah ,0.0
31190,where is my wallet  ,2.0
31191,i shouldnt be upset right now i should be ecstatic but i am upset ,2.0
31192,waivethesale youre so hard on me  i do try too spill everytheng properley its a case of more haste less skill ,2.0
31193,i think its really funny that when you think a kid an animal or something is really cute you just wanna squeze it till u choke it  lol,0.0
31194,laelene if you have a valid embarkation card then it counts i was hoping i could find  to buy for me actually but its ok ,0.0
31195,doing a social media detox after a tough breakup what do i do with my time how do i feel better xposted to radvice im  and a senior in high school i dont have a lot of money for stuff like gym memberships and i live in a small town where activities are limited my boyfriend  broke up with me on the grounds of not being into the relationship anymore and feeling like he cant give me enough time it was a really abrupt change for me and decided that i needed to unwire from social media not including reddit im feeling pretty bummed out and dont really know how to get those good chemicals working in my brain any suggestions i know this wont matter in time but right now it doesnt feel too good and would really like to keep my mind off things as ive struggled with depression over the last few years and tend to get bad when im in a deep depression its been kind of difficult pushing myself to make it to graduation and then moving away for uni in the fall so im hoping to find something to keep me motivated until then  ive struggled with drug use before and am trying really hard to avoid that in this situation as well ,3.0
31196,i left my glasses on the other side of my room forgetting that i cannot see a thing more than  away from my face without them ,2.0
31197,chosenonepr hahaha i am too i havent got outta bed all day ,0.0
31198,i wish id bought my camera to the beeeeach ,2.0
31199,its coming back depression is starting to swallow me again havent had any suicidal thoughts for couple months but today im feeling shit kinda hoping that i wont wake up tomorrow my school starts in about a month and im afraid because i know that school is going to make it ten times worse,3.0
31200,now im sick though  im just glad i got sick when i got home and not while i aws in quebec,2.0
31201,boooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeddddddddd  and i cant concentrate with electricians and now the computer man is here too  greattt ,2.0
31202, playing mode now im getting ready for exam  june  uhh ohh ,2.0
31203,marnieb it was great of alexandra and madison  was very excited,0.0
31204, because red wings gtgt penguins thats why id take almost any team over the pens any day ,0.0
31205,i wont make it to aea boston  and im sad of it ,2.0
31206,rt cutebutnotfunny took a mental health day from work and hung out w my mom today best decision ive made in centuries ❤️ httpstco,2.0
31207,im so sadrip sony cybershotyou will be missed ,2.0
31208,florida mentalhealth wecandobetter httpstcownflutwrtr,2.0
31209,aussieboby oi  how are yua,0.0
31210,why dont i feel better ,2.0
31211,i just returned from my uncles rosary ,2.0
31212,i just turned  all my dreams are crushed hey reddit this is my first post so sorry if i do this wrongmy whole life growing up i had this dream of being a collegeprofessional athlete i played football basketball and baseball i loved football the most honestly it was my first true love i was good but wasnt tall enough to play anywhere the time of playing sports was over and i graduated hs that dream was crushed in college i was a health science major who wanted to be a dentist i did great my first two years and then ochem did me dirty that same year depression kicked my ass i had never been depressed in my childhood so the feeling confused me i was a heavy marijuana smoker because it made me feel better and helped me sleep weed isnt bad it just effects everyone differentlywhat i failed to realize was that i was coping my depression with drug use then that same year i started doing cocaine i attend a large university where drugs are a phone call away  the cocaine use got so bad that i was dropping weight at parties i would look like a zombie pacing everywhere one night after binge using and drinking i came home and started sobbing i wanted to die i never had the urge to commit suicide but that night i wanted too i looked at myself in the mirror and something in me clicked i needed to get off the drugs or my life would be over i was blessed to realize it before it was too late i am now  months clean from coke but i dont feel the same anymore the dreams i had when i was younger were crushed and i only have a semester of school left and still have no clue what i want to do with my life,3.0
31213,sis is moving to canada while im still here ,2.0
31214,laughablelizz im cleaning sarahs room ,0.0
31215,thunder mountain my feet hurt really bad ,2.0
31216,rt  media  harry styles and camille rowe broke up after a year togetherharry  thats sad harry  harry  heres a list,2.0
31217,this night will never end only on the fourth rubbish band  one more to go on at midnight buffalofail   hope the club finishes early,2.0
31218, nothing jus have a loser in my life n now repenting  neways hows ur training,2.0
31219,all i wanted this weekend was to go to bamboozle but this weekend has been shot to hell literally ask me about it ,2.0
31220,dougiemcfly  sherwood forest gig in june is ther neway of getting vip tickets for that looked on the net but cant find nething ,2.0
31221,girlfriend broke up with me my girlfriend of   years broke up with me recently how do i get over her,3.0
31222,deltakatie thank you  i cant wait for lavenders to blossom do you know when they normally do is it a seasonal thing,0.0
31223,rt   minairs blockbuster expose on pedophilia crimes by toplevel british establishmentthis made me feel very sad for thes,1.0
31224,rflong i have no room for the books i already own  i have one tiny room at home my parents,2.0
31225,hey ecadnacmarie it is nice to see you have joing the twitter world welcome cousin ,0.0
31226,just pregamedrollin deep to the club  its goin down,0.0
31227,star trek was amazing bed now after a long day  loving summer,0.0
31228,mitchelmusso im going  see u  cant wait ,0.0
31229,oh and my tattoo itches like a bitch or a bad case of crotch crittersnot that i would know or anything ,0.0
31230,bad artists vs great artists  ,0.0
31231,amitguptaz amazing post home made pizzas are awesome u making me hungry ,2.0
31232,wow free falling  miles per hour in the air from  feet altitude  ,0.0
31233,busy day doing laundry and packing for south carolina then heading to berkley ,0.0
31234,kacekoga thats not fair ,2.0
31235,are you depressed of the environment youre from i mean the climate pollution garbage deceiving people suffering animals destroyed plantsand then the talentless idiots who bypasses the line in everything just because they have money and contacts,3.0
31236, ok lets tell them tomorrow ,0.0
31237,interesting fact of the day dont rub ur eyes after eating salt and vinegar crisps it kinda stings ,2.0
31238,hmm look at that i didnt know i could sew ,0.0
31239,rt  im telling yall right now if the world ever run out of rice i dont see a reason to continue living so yall better,0.0
31240,nappytabs aaaaah im insanely annoyed at the fact that i didnt get to meet you  and i wanted it to be my birthday wishhh ahah awwwwwww,2.0
31241,pianogeek youre confusing me now  do you mean the pics of the drawers the  pic is apparently the one put together,0.0
31242,my sos mother asked him why would you date a depressed woman im so hurt that those words would come out of anyones mouth,3.0
31243,brendanlacroix failed at killing my firefly but did scare him away ,2.0
31244,im so sad 😭 stay strong we love you so  much dont forget that were always be on your sides 💜 btstwt,0.0
31245,going to therapy after about a year of not going i plan on telling them about my depression and gender issues im proud of myself for making an appointment ,3.0
31246,ashbymh my sister will be in town amp we want to go out sat night  you in ps i was looking for richard but sadly he didnt appear ,2.0
31247,hate everything want to die i am just fed up of everything i hate everything i hate my home life i hate my new job i hate myselfi have no ambition no desire and worst of all i know i hate myself enough that i cant work towards recovery between my mental and physical conditions i really just dont want to tryi want to die but am too cowardly to do so if i had a gun i would use it in an instant but i live in the uk so the methods available to me are higher pain or higher failure rate that and the fact there are  people i do not want to hurt with a suicide this prevents me from doing so  i have told of my wishes and she would hate me if i did iti drink daily to cope my arm and legs look fcked from sh i feel so close to slipping and just do not want to hurt the people that care about me but i also resent them for keeping me in the cage known as life i feel trapped and that aids my destructive behaviors while also making me feel guilty that i am so selfdestructive i feel helpless and trapped,3.0
31248,i dyed my hair blue and while its pretty im gonna be taking it out in a week    i seriously have hairdye add,0.0
31249,superaleja bummer  a bad computer day all around,2.0
31250,so tired going to sleep all my memories seem to haunt me  good night twitterers ,2.0
31251,i love homemade chocolate chip cookiesyummmy  jenny,0.0
31252,i was diagnosed today ive been going to the psychologist and now finally they gave me an official diagnose they say i have clinical depression and borderline personality disorder and it feels so dreadful and weird to hear a proffesional say it to hear them say that there is truly something wrong with me and i am bag of mixed fucking emotions right now dont know if i have to cry laugh  scream  or anything i also feel like puking i just feel weird how was your reaction to finally knowing a clinical answer,3.0
31253,theres something wrong with my kitteh     ,2.0
31254, games take a long time to download   obvious statement for today ,0.0
31255,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
31256,woo hoolcu is only one game away from winning the naia national baseball championship go chaps ,0.0
31257,that was so cool light rain heavy rain thunder nothing then immediately hail and  mph wind gusts and the most awesome rainbow ,0.0
31258,ahh good morning my twitter babes  party last night was amazingthank god it was a marker and not a gun lfmaolfmao,0.0
31259,kunalsheth ya sure will have a second look amp do my complete reveiw on controlenter ,0.0
31260,ive got such bad anxiety that ive just  been sitting in my car for like  hours because i dont know what to do or where to go,1.0
31261,quarantine made my life infinitely worse i dont mind being alone in fact i prefer it i like being alone so thats not the issue however this quarantine took away the only things i was passionate about in life that helped me cope with my already fucked up mental state and im going to have spend the next few months inside doing nothing i cant take it and by the time this is over its going to start getting cold again only adding to my depression summer was the only thing i looked forward to all year and now its going to be wasted lovely its only the first week and there wasnt a day where i havent cried,3.0
31262,shopping today was goodmmmm orange julius  got my tux and cant wait for  ,0.0
31263,living at the pool all weekend ,0.0
31264,i really hate panic attacks seems like ive been having problems lately i blame diet detoxing with raw foods for a while no fun ,2.0
31265,i just hate everything my life is falling apart i tried to keep it together but it only gets worse the meds dont help they only numb i cant even do any of the things ive ever enjoyed i just dont want to wake up,3.0
31266,stress can really eat you alive thats why half these bitches look dead,2.0
31267,ahh school tomorrow cannot be bothered ,2.0
31268,going to sleep now ,0.0
31269, hi d i guess u cant speak to me ,2.0
31270,hmmm kinda still figuring things out ,0.0
31271,johnnatn how cool my tape with the ppvs is no where to be found  hopefully theyll release more stuff on dvd,2.0
31272,im just about gettin used  this rugby is relly good ferris is an idiot  gettin the bin ,2.0
31273,is nursing a rather poorly dural tear and an inactive sacrum ,2.0
31274,wanna go shopping i really need new summer clothes ooh and new shoes of coz ,0.0
31275,i also have this amazing group of friends each of whom i love but who can drive me nuts at the same time what more could one wish for ,0.0
31276,i feel desmotivated first sorry the english is not my lenguage so probably theres a lot of mistakesabout a year and a half ago i met a girl that i thought was the girl of my dreams many things that she likes i also like and that made things went really well between usif you are wondering how did we meet each other it was at a the festival that in my country we celebrate every year called san juan in that festival my friends ask me to go with that girl and her friend to meet them it was horrible cause ive got an issue and its that i fall in love easly not really is more like i am easily interested in a girl if that girl is like the girls that i like does it make sense the point is i was very interested in that girl when my friends introduced me to her suddenly her boyfriend comes with us and i felt uncomfortable but at the end she said to my friends i like him obviusly i was very excited and bla bla blamonths later one of my friends added me to a whatsapp group where she was in after some days something happend and i send a private msg to her then we coverted in good friends after maybe  or  months she said me that she needed to finish de relation with her boyfriend i tried to be polite but i was really happy so after some days my bithday came and i saw her for the fisrt time after the festival btw the festival was at my friends school so they were classmates wonderful day she gave me some hugs etc three days later i asked her to be my girlfriend and she accept we were in a relationship for just  months but i gave myself entirely to her we were on a school trip before i forget shes is social sciences and im in computer science and one of my classmates was her exboyfriend to brevity she cheated me with that boy this feeling is horrible but i tried to be strong other three months later i was on another relationship and until now i dont know if i was on that relationship because i loved her or i used her to not feel lonely in that relationship many things happend and we broke our relation and came together again and broke againone year has passed since my firt girlfriend cheated me i dont feel like i miss her but i really do i feel like she doesnt exist anymore i am missing someone who doesnt exist at every friends meetings or at the school my friends talk to them my exgirlfriend and his bf like they are the best friends ever and i cant say anything cause my exgf and my actual friends were friend from  until now the thing is i had  best friends until the last year but they became friends of mi exgirlfriends boyfriend after she cheated me and now i feel like my friends dont care about mei cant stand when i am with my friends and he come with us and start to talk with them i feel like he is stealing me everythingi repeat one year has passed and i still dont feeling good i dont know if i can be in another relationship i feel so lonely and desmotivated,3.0
31277,sissymaidgabby it is quite comfy but i can pull out of the tube if i really want to   but with khs support i dont want to,2.0
31278,just got back from nailspa in fall creek vivianne hooked me up with a grt manipedi massage and now im mellow from all the wine ,0.0
31279,i think im reaching my limit this is a throwaway probably will never post anything after thiswriting this post itself is a chore i hardly have the energy to do this id much rather just lie down and do nothing im having trouble what to write i constantly keep writing erasing and rewriting took me  minutes to reach this pointi have reached a stage where my depression has started to affect those around me for a long time  i was able to keep it in smile and go about my day telling myself that everyone hurts now it leaks out my loneliness is killing me i spend my time online trying to find someone to talk to i dont what kind of comfort im looking for whatever it is i cant seem to find it i have been fallen so low that i called people that i have never seen in years ive become desperatei think about death alot i think it would be peaceful i have never tried to kill myself no the thought has crossed my mind many times i used to have a relationship with god now not so muchi never drank before ive started though i do admit to having an addiction for sleeping pills i see myself slowly slipping down a slope and i feel like im okay with thatlife is hell honestly lost the person i love the most been unemployed for a while now finding jobs in this economy is hard the bank keeps on calling ive been blacklisted my parents have disowned me i never lived up to their dreamsi have to move out of where im staying by the end of the month i have nowhere to go no one to lean oni dont know where im going with this i dont know if this a cry for help my last words i dont know im sorry if this post is all over the place with no general directioni wanna apologise to my parents for failing them to my little brothers for not being someone they could look uptoim from a place where there isnt much of a support system in place for people like me there is a huge stigma associated with mental illness if i could afford help i would get it but i can barely afford my next mealthanks for reading i guess the ramblings of a madman im sorry about the formatting im on mobile also english isnt my first language so sorry for that toowhatever your battles are i hope you win them i hope you dont end up like me,3.0
31280,is gonna sit in bed all day and watch rugby with the project runway thrown in for good measure happy days ,0.0
31281,how are you — okay lang naman legit na okay yung okay na neutral hindi masaya hindi sad yung okay lang gan ,0.0
31282,follow friday  i only have  followers ,2.0
31283,tahneewatson i dont know why ,2.0
31284,dont think i am going to see joe nichols at the bull on friday ,2.0
31285,rt mightybusterbro   sonyacsa sad flotus trump has you so outclassedas a democrat running for congres,1.0
31286,tanyaxo aha bethany fell over and they fell off my head and my aunt didnt see them and she stood on them now beyond repair ,2.0
31287,what does it mean when you feel gladcomfortable to be saddepressed again do you ever oddly feel comfortable or satisfied that you are feeling depressed like as if you wanted to be sad why would this happenis it because i want to feel bad for myself because i want to punish myself or maybe because ive been sad and alone for so long that its my new comfort zone no matter the reason the fact that i do this really scares meive been alone isolated and extremely sad for almost my whole life due to my bad videogamelazy addictions last night i stayed up trying to finish up some homework then found myself playing games for  hours straight until  on a school night  college junior i woke up feeling guilty and ashamed super down and thats when i felt,3.0
31288,being around people is tiring but being alone might be worse im kind of an introvert or whatever i like having my alone time to just be i have been in the service industry in one capacity or another my whole working life so being around people is a thing i can do be sociable or charming or whatever but so frequently i start to feel shitty while im alone i feel bad about decisions i make feelings i have the place i am in life i want someone to talk to and tell me im not a fuck up but i dont want to admit things to people i know i have a wonderful girlfriend who is understanding and kind and non judgmental but i dont know what to say to her or anyone really frequently i can just shove the bad feelings away but somehow i feel like ignoring them isnt healthy but embracingacknowledging them feels like crap too i dont know im just tired of it,3.0
31289,poynterjones i know how you feel well sort of obviously not the same pain but ,2.0
31290,dr dre commercial for dr pepper quotslower is bettertrust me im a doctorquot  ,0.0
31291,i am a very sad girl sick as dog means no work lilac fest or music n motion for me ,2.0
31292,schofe what an amazing tweeter gives everyone hope in human nature ,0.0
31293,how do i ask for help im almost always labeled as a happy good person especially in school but this year school year i moved states and had to start over i thought i would like it but ive seen everything that there is to be seen here i have no body i try making friends but everyone already has friends so they dont pay attention to me i like being alone but i dont want to be lonely my grades have been failing lately too my parents say im not putting in any effort into anything i do it seems like my dad hates me at this point and my mom doesnt pay attention to me i told her that im looking for a psychiatrist or therapist to help me but she says to just let it go not to mention that im pretty sure my parents have caught on that im not religious its so discouraging i cant help not wanting to be here i used to have so many friends and so many ambitions but ive lost interest and my old friends have found new friends am i just bad at making friends i dont know what to do ive written two suicide notes this week but im already forgotten so whats the point sorry for this i guess i just had nowhere else to voice this,3.0
31294,is really depressed  httpplurkcompxemta,2.0
31295,demowell thank you claudio ,0.0
31296,im gonna be  something when i got to germany ,2.0
31297, im going to work too    it suuuuuuxxxxxx,2.0
31298,the day looks much nicer nowww ,0.0
31299,i hate bad hair days ,2.0
31300,i feel like i cant do anything but kill myself no matter how much i try its never enough for anyone i try to be happy but my mind just messes it up and instantly turns it into a bad thought such as if a friend wanted to kill himself i cant stand this anymore i just feel useless i dont even have anyone to talk to,3.0
31301, i always enjoy the glimpses into your bright window ,0.0
31302,rt capemayrachel literally feel like im in a fistfight with my anxiety right now,0.0
31303,really bad hangover ,2.0
31304,ninammalone i know i thought that he had been getting better very sad ,2.0
31305,looking for side jobs four hours is a bunch of shit i can babysit if you need it  juss lemme know kthanks,0.0
31306,perezhilton why dont you post about justinbieber  hes so talented ,2.0
31307,fantasies i tend to fantasize about what id do if i found a gun while walking down the street or anywhere really even on the best of days when im the happiest i still think id try to kill myself right then and there,3.0
31308,up all night with kittens being born lying on bed with laptop not happy no big brother forums or live feed this year ,2.0
31309, thanks for following me ,0.0
31310,mjlaw aw thats a sweet pic of you and your mom  ps i like katy perry too  quotwaking up in vegasquot lyric ,0.0
31311,i dont know what to do my chest aches with paini feel it all over mei didnt go to school again todayhavent taken care of myself hygienically in a whilei feel stupidfell in love againits eating me away i feel the gnawingjust biting away at my fleshbut this time it wasnt a real personim losing my mind finding no one that wants meive fallen for a video game character monikai have no more ideas dont know how to write constructively im a failure failed high school  in a row still a sophomore when i should be a seniorinstead of graduating im in school miserablei will be  by the time im outi will have lost  years of my life to my stupidity im dying slowly rotting away getting eaten alive by my parasites being finished up thrown under the bus by everyone i knewi have no interest in pastimes i used to once enjoyi got nothing anymore nothing no friends no social life no talentno skill no will to liveall im now is a shell of my former self which wasnt good eitheri know there are people worser off than me i aint shit got nothing to lose other than my mother ive felt no reason nor will to live i cant see anything that would make me regret ending it all i shout at the top of my lungs but no one hears i feel crippled from head to toe wish i had killed my self couple of years ago all i remember is pain i used to cry under the dinner table when my mom went to work i had my grandma she was nice but other than that i had nobody no friends nothing i was always a failure a pain in the ass a burden everyone always despised me from teachers to peers i was just a fucking loner was never cool to be anyones friend  life is pretty shit dont know why are we here in the first place why it makes no sense to mei wish i werent alivesorry i dont know how to write properly never was good at writing failed all my english classesjust a mistakei dont know i dont know why i keep saying i dont know i dont know i suppose i dont see my self anywhere  years from now probably either dead or homeless always had nightmares that my mom would pass awayand then i would be fully alone no one just me on this dirt planet no one loves me im not wanted by anyone no one cares about me i guess they shouldnt because i might kill my self and ruin there lives with my bullshit,3.0
31312,joeycast i have that it plugs into the micro usb from the ac adapter i now lack the micro usb cord ,2.0
31313,very tired today dogs werent behaving last night ,2.0
31314,twitter better shape up or a lot of people are going to leave  ,2.0
31315,firefox and flock both crashed on an older imac but still work fine on the new imac no new programs removed and reloaded no luck ,2.0
31316,work today  to  i need to find some time in the near future to wash my car  quotup in this bitchhhhhhquot hahaha help still funny,0.0
31317,rt  sad nigga hours once again ,0.0
31318,alexandriabrown skinemax hands down ,0.0
31319,revreim why ,2.0
31320,diner after the graduation was great lots of laughs amp catching up  talked photography amp macs  fullfledgegadgetgeek,0.0
31321,tarababcock well if your not im fked ,0.0
31322,it is  pm amp almost   i forgot how hot summer was   ,2.0
31323,i want my laptop  i wish they were macs didnt the schools in victoria get macs,0.0
31324,back in hanover and its a complete ghost town ,2.0
31325,tansahsa lol nope no one made the eruption joke  sadly there are not enough dirty minds out there ,2.0
31326,omg my tummie hurts  i need a stomach rub,2.0
31327,glory god melts everything never finding stillness i cut paths out of the light i rest there in between your breathing never finding stillness i speak with carefulness and in doing so i miss you and then i dont oh im sorry i said this downstairs do you rememberi pauseloud muffled and eastern the reports suddenly go static and the basement warms redthis is it glory god melts everything,3.0
31328,ashleysodmg kk thanks let me know ,0.0
31329,geesmyangel that happened to me the otherday i googled it ima geek like that and it turned out to be a manufacturing fault  not happy,2.0
31330,what percentage of people would you say are depressed i took a very long drive the other day through my city out of all the people i saw walking a good  looked miserable and suicidal give me your honest pov what  of people on this earth do you think are depressed what about suicidal what about extremely suicidal,3.0
31331,went to the movies then drakes then the beach and some man took artsy photos of me drake and jen it was cute bed text me ,0.0
31332,wishing this week had about five more days in it ,0.0
31333,bbq tonight yayaya ,0.0
31334,i have to tell someone my coachwell call him chester the molestor molested me when i was eight years old he gave me twix bars and in return he got a blowjob sounds like a fair trade afterwards i was having trouble reconciling with what had happened so my parents decided to move in the hopes that i would repress the memory and i didfor a while i would later joke with a confidant that it must not have been that good if i couldnt remember it though i was able to forget about being molested my parents could not quite rapidly the mortgage payments for our new house became uncertainties and my parents would spend the next ten years blaming me for  their financial problems they would say things like youve ruined our lives you fucking cocksucker which turned out to be more traumatic than being molested i felt guilty for ruining their lives and helpless because as a child there was nothing i could do to help i tried to help but i couldnt fix it the quarters i found on the street were never enough then on a sunday afternoon at age  i met melancholy and weve been close ever since the memories of chester the molestor would resurface in my mid teens which was perfect timing since ya know teenage years are notoriously easy to begin with i was in need of clarity but was fearful of speaking to my parents about it i made one sheepish attempt to talk to themfast forward to my mid  and im enrolling in college for the third time fresh off a  year heroin binge and having a seemingly stable relationship with my parents i believed things were beginning to look up i was optimistic even if your not familiar with the term optimistic its a synonym for foolish fucking idiot they said higher education would improve my life but instead of a degree i received a series of unfortunate events and since then ive completely shut down ,3.0
31335,rt mefloqvetsuk defence select committee wants to hear from serving troops and veterans for inquiry into militarymental health  pleas,1.0
31336,about to walk across the brooklyn bridge then pizza afterwords my legs hurt from walking too much ,2.0
31337,pangpond boydchan เอ่อ ผมว่าพว�เรามาเปลี่ยนเรื่องคุย�ันดี�ว่านะครับ ,0.0
31338,is sick and misses powboley ,2.0
31339,just saw a guy get sprayed by a passing bus ,2.0
31340,how has depression changed you although im recuperating it has no doubt left an indelible mark on me of late ive been seeing the world in a completely different light in the grand scheme of things ive come to realise that everything is fleeting,3.0
31341,giulianarancic g girl where hv u been  missing ur updates  ,0.0
31342,wow what a horrible day to start back to work its only a monday i hate mondays ,2.0
31343,backstreetboys why dont u talk to brazil we love u too  kisses,2.0
31344,diesel  well have special solo feats,2.0
31345,for heavens sake why would anyone really chide prof jok madut amp dr augustino ting for campaigning for the relea httpstcodaagjfbyxf,1.0
31346,well did good on first test bombed  one  looks like rest of class did too finished paper coglab and quiz another test in  hrs,2.0
31347,adamwelker heck no i have played this game more times than i can count  actually i consider it my favourite game of all time,0.0
31348,smoking hi well ive been dealing with my depression for a long time ive had my ups and downs throughout the years but mainly i felt empty incapable of feeling joy lately something has changed i stopped jerking off which i used to do a lot and i started smoking cigarettes like a lot i dont know how or why ive feel a lot better i been dating many women and i dont give a fuck about my insecurities im starting to feel more curious about things more eager to start conversations randomly etc this has been quite a change for me since i felt very very uncomfortable interacting with people i really dont know what the heck happened but maybe this could work for someone else so i decided to share it hang on there once you get out youll learn a lot of things that for many people could take decades be humble and take care of the ones you love have a nice day pal,3.0
31349,i dont think my exam went well ,2.0
31350,alandistro  i was wondering what was going on ,0.0
31351,hates mondays   monday blues ,2.0
31352,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
31353,hate to see when my oldest muppet daughters heart aches  she is tough though and will get through it  ,2.0
31354,rt climvari jkmeteorology diamondthedave zlabe nsidc sad you dont understand science ,0.0
31355,sick  good thing its the weekend ,0.0
31356,melanieyunk looks delicious sure it will be a wonderful birthday ,0.0
31357,facing a mad week but bring it on ,0.0
31358,especially in the sad songs i be depressed as hell that my imaginary boyfriend left me for my imaginary bestfriend,2.0
31359,ughh i feel sick   i have nothing to do and i have a headache ,2.0
31360,oldschoolgamer  dungeon crawl stone soup  the ultimate solution to long term gaming is a fresh random dungeon   ,0.0
31361,shaundiviney yes coz thats exactly what you need an ego boost naaaw im sorry im so mean to you i really do love you ,0.0
31362,school is finally over  yetits upsetting ,2.0
31363,taylorawr lol  that would be so much fun ampamp i dont know  haha not really sure maybe lol dont ask me im clueless  ,0.0
31364,just got fired from a job for not being outgoing enough ive had enough seriously fuck this life its full of nothing but shit and disappointment what fucking good am i to anyone if i cant even hold down a shitty retail job im useless im done life has given me a pasting one too many times and theres only so much shit i can take im gonna go drown my sorrows and hopefully die in my sleep,3.0
31365, wow ,2.0
31366,quoteu sees china unsafe products hitting record highquot httpisgdtcdx quottoys made up almost a third of the dangerous productsquot ,2.0
31367,nickismith ooohhhh he did really good  so can he come over and give my quototherquot pointers he needs bunches of help in that arealol,0.0
31368, im trying to change mine back but i cant clik the quotrevoke accessquot link in the connections tab ,2.0
31369,rt hatttiegladwell please dont say you have ocd because you like your flat clean have bipolar because you had a mood swing  have,0.0
31370,bad dayanyone want to talkvent lets just get some shit off our chests,3.0
31371,what mindless activity do you use to cope hi everyone im having a bad day which is thankfully rare these days  i dont want to sleep or binge eat and need a healthy replacement  something along the lines of knitting where i can sit down and be using my hands while listening to podcasts,3.0
31372,themancipation im good  im gettin tan cuz im white as a ghost lol,0.0
31373,innerbrat moviegrrl no tia carrera version of ballroom blitz on spotify ,2.0
31374,jonasbrothers   wow i wish i was there ,2.0
31375,good morning twitfam  has awaken from her beauty rest kisses i have so much grownup business  take care of  ,2.0
31376,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
31377,rt blingspice lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
31378,yay whiskey ,0.0
31379,tink sorry no internet i actually tinked about  hours ago still not getting any of jonathanrknights tweets  twitter sucks,2.0
31380,lotay i dont agree forgiveness comes in time sometimes a little anger and angst helps healing ,0.0
31381,im lonely  im lonely im depressed i do everything i can to just move forward but i cant escape this pain i want friends desperately but at the same time i dont i dont want them i dont want to feel the need of others i dont want sympathy i dont want others to worry about me or have someone like me in their lives i distanced myself from the friends i had long ago ive kept to myself for years now that ive wanted to try and make friends i dont know how anyway sorry for the rant ,3.0
31382,sorry i guess i dont know what to say exactlyi just know that i am not ok i would never be ok with feeling this way in front of people i actually love i dont know if anyone can relate to me but i just want to feel complete on my own merit    if any of this is  confusing or against the rules i apologize i hope every one of you is doing well i justwish i felt like i belonged ,3.0
31383,just woke up im still dizzy ,2.0
31384,its transformers week at church but i have to call my cousin back after church about my uncle probably not good news ,2.0
31385, my printer isnt wrking atmwhich is aggrivating ,2.0
31386,i am a failure i think im done i hate school and am doing shit but i dont know if i want to change programs my dad hates more then ever before because im just basically wasting his money on my education at this point the only thing i like as a hobby video games im shit at im fat and ugly i have no friends ,3.0
31387,my teeth hurt after gettong my bottom braces on ,2.0
31388,teresakopec your sons friends coming over is a testimonial to your graciousness ,0.0
31389,dgrubbs i didnt go to the grove with you last weekend cuz i had either hiv or the swine flunow that im better i went out minus u ,2.0
31390,seestur sorry about the chickens  and sorry about trevor  i will smack him around a little when he gets home,2.0
31391,mecaigobiencuando me pongo ebrio 💁🏻‍♂️ sad,2.0
31392, choppin it up w auchboogie  i love you,0.0
31393,number one by tinchy stryder ft n dubz out now peeps   x,0.0
31394,realhughjackman awwwwwwwwww good for you ,0.0
31395,pinktowerlady good luck to you we start testing todayno peace for us til friday ,2.0
31396,trying to get work off for attack attack tomorrow but its not working ,2.0
31397,donnycarson lol i know i know i feel so distraught about it ,2.0
31398,naatlima thanks for following me ,0.0
31399,today was another major l and im not sure i cant take this anymore woke up to my ex blocking me on everything for no reason again but this time i think hes serious even threaten to get a no contact order through the school because i wanted to go and find out why he had gone and blocked me this time hes notorious for going off the rails and taking everything out on me and then making it seem like im some crazed villain not to mention that i had to walk home  minutes at night in a bad neighborhood while it was hailing i was so cold and the hail still has my face sore today was definitely a low one for me and idk how many more days of pain i can really take when does the healing begin how do i distract myself from the pain without reminding myself of it in the process,3.0
31400,aww poor bro  faulty bus engines xd another filipino event ,0.0
31401,andrewchavez you are by far the best tweeter ,2.0
31402,really misses my best friendhubby i still have another week til i see him ,2.0
31403,spied d this morning in my eyeline for all of this mornings journey  now in my head ,0.0
31404,hearing stories about how coaches and agents take advantage of athletes blows me stealing and manipulating just to ,0.0
31405,aswinanand well we are on the verge of ruining this planet completely time we started working on another dontya think ,0.0
31406,rt aureasalondaka what the fuck best believe if i heard a girl friend or not screaming for help id be there so fast this makes me,0.0
31407,marqjacob   and no i wont shut up ,0.0
31408, haha thanks ,0.0
31409, very pleased that last two tweets were perfect  compositions without even trying ,0.0
31410,dont even know what im doing anymore i dont have any friends never dated dropped out of college and am nothing but a burden to my family im  this year yet feel like ive barely lived my lifei thought i was getting my life back on track by enrolling in school again and getting a job but i already want to quit after only  days my anxiety is getting in the way of me doing my job and i can barely hold a conversation with my colleagues hell were actually having lunch together as im typing this and i cant bring myself to even look any of them in the eye theyre not bad people at all i just dont know how to even socialize with themi dont want to quit this job so soon i only lasted  months at my previous job too plus the wage is decent and the hours are convenient for me once class starts in july yet im anxious and lonely here and dont know what to do ,3.0
31411,rt itanimeirl this is so sad alexa  ,2.0
31412, or quottherequot  whatever  its bloody early but insomnia  fresh blueberry muffins for breakfast mmm,0.0
31413,rt  maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too,1.0
31414,jackvvynand machine connors route sucks because you have to make hank sad because he believes in connor so much ,2.0
31415,mariahukfan lol ok man you sleep alot lol ya im good so happy that maddie and me got to talk but a little worried for queen  shes sad,2.0
31416,jessmicuh but its jonas ,2.0
31417,i cant find any motivation right now im tired and trying to sleep but as always the most depressing thoughts come at night i always feel better in the morning but its such a struggle to fall asleep now my mind just likes to keep reminding me that nothing matters,3.0
31418,mrink djfame  yay thanks guys ,0.0
31419,off to get ready to join my church for pentecost worship this morning blessings on you all ,0.0
31420,malarkey ��beautiful ,0.0
31421,ohjazmina lol i ordered really late but i just ate it all ,0.0
31422,rt arsbum if youre one of those people who put youngjae in a box that only defines him as a sunshine or an otter or naive and refu,2.0
31423,hanging out with my little brother ,0.0
31424,leaving on a jet planeto kallakudi near trichy     monthhope to come back sane,2.0
31425,headache ,2.0
31426,just touched a whole wheat bun with lots and lots of fungus on it haha gross ,2.0
31427,tyson fury video by mixedmollywhoppery i loved this video  it cheered me up for a little bit i will note to you all i am not saying anything in this video will work for you or you need to get up off the couch and stop being lazy or necessarily endorsing anything that mixedmolly or fury says it simply put me in a better mood for a little bit and seemed on topic to this sub so i wanted to share it here in the hopes that it cheers someone else up for a little while like it did for me  ,3.0
31428,trying to get rid of headace ,2.0
31429,i miss cheer ,2.0
31430,  but not so quotyumquot for your health ,2.0
31431,any advice on how to get help please forgive me if this isnt the right subreddit however i am certain i am depressed and id like to ask for some guidance on if i should seek professional treatment or notlong story short i am having some very concerning thoughts that if i were to share with a therapist due to laws they would have to report to policeright authorities i am certain im not going to act on said thoughts however they have been around for a long time in various forms going away for a while and just recently coming back very strongly additionally i am not seeing a therapist right now and i really dont want to due to bad experiences in the pasti guess what i am trying to ask is if there is some way that i can talk to someone who is willing to listen confidentially without worry of saying too much,3.0
31432,a field manual for surviving the aftermath of a  day marriage does anyone have oneampnbspits been a little over  months since june  we got hitched june  not a single day has passed since then that i havent relived at least a moment from that awful day not a single day begins without a thought of her and not a single day ends without her being the last thing on my mindampnbspfeels like a lifetime ago but im still stuck there my dreams are like penny arcades and sometimes i get a little movie showing how different life would have been if it had just worked even if it worked for merely longer than  days goddamnampnbspcant blame her after going through this mental gauntlet i doubt i could deal with my shit too if i see it from the outside looking in im a walking nervous breakdown pretty shafty deal to go in sickness and in health with only two solutions seem to come up and thats checking in at an insane asylum or at the end of a shotgun and i cant seem to do either which makes the whole thing feel even more awful hell sometimes i hear her whispering to me or i catch an imaginary waft of her hair like people with brain tumors get a smell of burning rubber out of nowhere tough times to truly go insane,3.0
31433,says cant biliv that her best friend celebrating her buffday on her bfs buffday  ,2.0
31434,whats this desire for complete self destruction     is it something that comes with depression that longing to just completely let go of anything that helps me get better and just surrender to my destructive habits my therapist suspects i have bpd but i dont agree could this urge for self destruction be a symptom of it or does everyone with depression get this to some degree,3.0
31435,boy chill😭,2.0
31436,i am pissed my sleep pattern is so off  i miss going to bed at  and waking up early,2.0
31437,first shower on half a month things are feeling and looking good but at this point im just bracing for the inevitable low point of my rollercoaster,3.0
31438,jschenck i have  ,2.0
31439, the fer see thats why i stay away from that cesspit im sorry you got cyberpunked ,2.0
31440,hey  mitchel musso ,0.0
31441,heartbreakers hey simon loving the show really calming me got school tomorrow and a exam proper worried  give us a mention please and,2.0
31442,rt esopstl asking cops to handle calls for citizens in the middle of mental health crises is like asking your pastor to perform open hea,0.0
31443,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
31444, hi nige it is about to rain here ,2.0
31445,murdahess oh you beat it i saw you playing last night ,0.0
31446,omg i wish i knew what was going on out there i think theyre gettin arrested my lil  ,2.0
31447,tatirijillo thanks for the rt lol ,0.0
31448, no but thanks for the offer my hormone treatment isnt working and at this point looks like surgery is in my near future ,2.0
31449,lejunkdrawer i doubt ill be going anywhere that serves crumpets anytime soon ,2.0
31450,thechaser  the skit was the funniest of the show people need to chill out or not watch sucks youve been temporarily cut ,2.0
31451,  you can its legal elsewhere  go there and enjoy amy  simpletownusacom i am upset at ca for ignorance too,0.0
31452,i just made a    song playlist of sad ass country songs brb might just cry myself to sleep lmao gtg,1.0
31453,wtf am i dealing with depression bipolar add hey there i need advice this is my life in a few  sentences and ill get to the point afteri had terrible anxiety as a kid like hypochondriac level id hyperventilate and think everything was gonna kill me that ended around puberty and high school started i got accepted to uf a great school when i was  i did well at school and had focus late senior year of high school i noticed my motivation going away hmmm senioritis college rolls around and i got full on depression every day no highs or lows always low bad focus bad sleep schedule debilitating lack of executive function and i was dismissed from school after trying a few semesters now im  socially i do really well with people and im a charismatic energetic guy so i started seeing school therapists while in school and i got a psych evaluation they determined i have persistent depressive disorder and acute anxiety ok makes sense i started zoloft antidepressant and buspirone an anti anxiety  mo ago my dad died in december so i lost coverage and missed an appointment at the old place i went to so i tried a new provider today four months later i havent taken my ssrianti anxiety in about  weeks these last few weeks have been good i quit cannabis recently too because it destroyed any semblance of being able to get my shit together and ive been working out feeling great weed really makes me depressed i told all this to a psychologist i saw today as i opted to go for behavioral care again the point this phd in psych guy i did an intake appointment with started off our appointment real rushed because they brought me in as a walkin not a normal appointment as i was supposed to get we rush through questions and i try to explain nuances but he bounces from question to question i saw a dsm book and asked if i could have a peek and he brushed me off very seriously saying we need to focus pretext this guy didnt even look at me the entire appointment until the end when he takes off his glasses looks away from the computer screen and says im probably add and might have bipolar  i described myself as a critical thinker but he said i couldnt be because i contradicted myself a lot in my answers if we had more time i wouldnt have made him think that also mentioned my recent weeks off weed have been great so shitty first appointment anyways alright so a new opinion thats somewhat plausible and im afraid my current medicine may do more harm than goodtldr persistent depression could be a manifest of bipolar  quit weed feeling great recently taking antidepressants now could be setting myself up for worse down the line if it ends up being bipolar disorder not depression some cousins on my dads side have bipolar disorder and depression im scared of taking my medicine my physician refilled me with the other day because this new psychologist today said i may be bipolar but it hasnt presented itself completely im scared i could be harming myself with antidepressants if i am bipolar what do,3.0
31454,rt briancdoan paramount pictures mental health break ,0.0
31455,yourrbestfriend u bitch  naw  we didnt ahve fun  we were missing you to much  lol,2.0
31456,nnop yeah its barmy that it doesnt ,2.0
31457,its freakin hot and humid today ,2.0
31458,  gf mine was on may  im glad its over  he he he  ,0.0
31459,grad practice ,2.0
31460,he is soooooo cute ,0.0
31461,i never been so bummed like this fuck this shit is anyone out there for my ass   ,2.0
31462,no longer pissedyay but still stressed out very very much ,2.0
31463,patrickds indeed its coldwarmcoldpretty cold at the moment but at least sunny ,0.0
31464,agentnoir ive never had a great experience at the one on the ave  and always end up shopping at moksha and red light instead ,0.0
31465,almost to cornelius pass gonna lose reception soon ,2.0
31466, here it is httpbitlyfewkd  enjoy ,0.0
31467,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,0.0
31468,still terrfied  joe just seems snotty with cold but never had anything quite like this to deal with  lost my invulnerability in  ,2.0
31469,jordanknight good morning to u too  i think we tinked at the same time lol  didnt get much sleepbc jonathanrknight made me sad ,2.0
31470,revising for a network design exam what a way to spend a sunday i want to be doing other more interesting things ,2.0
31471,its a living hell im a guy i live with my parents and my sibling my family seems to know just how to press my buttons and when i get upset they back off and play the victim and paint me as a mean aggressive person when im not at all its psychotic manipulation and its honestly driving me insane i survived a near death experience and this situation makes me want to just end it all i got my car taken away and and now i have no means of getting around my sibling always creates this imaginary rivalry and insults me in any way possible yet if i did the same thing theyd cry and make a big scene to make me look bad what hurts most is that my parents always fall for it when theres an issue on the rise i always say  idc leave me alone i dont wanna talk about this anymore as a way to agree to disagree yet no one respect my wishes however they want me to do this and that and if i dont i get punished its a vicious cycle and idk what to do because i just want to graduate college and get the fuck out of here please help any advice is what i need to stay alive literally on the verge of ending it all thank you ,3.0
31472,stereoqueenbee cuz i do this for a leaving ,0.0
31473,dont suppose ill be able to tweet from the courtroom ,2.0
31474,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
31475,sicksation what kinda cookies ,0.0
31476,letting stress overtake me 🙄,2.0
31477,nigga gigi is driving  right now were never gonna make it home ,2.0
31478,amazingdrx right on ,0.0
31479,anyone else mess up their life from suicide plans just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation as mepretty much since i was around  i had planned to just live till  and end it so i didnt put much effort into school didnt get my  level science which meant i couldnt really do anything via collage or university which just made me feel worse and just reinforced my suicide at  plan and im just constantly being put down by my father saying im a disappointment and one time just outright saying im a burden that day i almost did end it i dont know why i didnt but right now im wishing i did im the middle child i see how my younger sister is the loved one and my older brother is the one called when they need anything and im just here useless a disappointment you know middle child syndrome stuff i guess i just dont know whats wrong with me im never happy im always in a meh mood and i dont care about myself i have no passions in life i dont want to be or do anything nothing interests me i feel like the only thing for me to do is to end it everything just points to that my life is riddled with bad luck and nothing works out for me its just these things seems like signs that theres no point in trying to just end itim  now since november of last year and im only still here because of my girl i cant hurt her by leaving her like that but idk if i can give her a life she deserves because i ruined mine with my plan to end it at  and idk how to fix that like i said i still have no passions or interests in anything i might just have to find some programs to up my scores go to collage for a job i dont care about and just work for the money to make her as happy as i canyeah thats all i guess just a dumb rant because im feeling depressed tonight and wondering if anyone else had done the same or something similar,3.0
31480,how come the office shuttle comes late when i am before time at the stop whereas comes early when i am couple of minutes late ,2.0
31481,do you love designing cd covers working under ridiculously tight deadlines supporting nerdy music amp charities then give me a holler ,0.0
31482,fam din for uncle charles birthday then sneaker pimps to see the clipse ,0.0
31483,its ok to just be on this earth with no friends no hobbies no interests no romantic prospects and no purpose in life right,3.0
31484,she will always be our maam bevs forever pride ng srol yan ❤️ sad lang kasi di na nagkaron ng chance sumunod n ,0.0
31485,brightestttt that looks rather nicethe memoir i like googles phone too  i think the android os looks cool,0.0
31486, thnx i just got an a ,0.0
31487,happy  more dayss till school ,2.0
31488,was an hour and a half late for work bored already and want to go home ,2.0
31489,the dont stress success podcast   httpstcomzqisbgeio,2.0
31490,livingfearless yes it is nice up there as parents we like the  as well  if it happens i will need the scoopgood and bad from you,0.0
31491,arrrg i wish i was going to come together ,2.0
31492,blkcelebutante what date i think im away then ,2.0
31493,why is telling people i need help so hard this is going to take a lot out of me to post my depression seems to have taken a huge dive the last month it went from being managed to utter despair anyone else ever have this where you start to think the medicine is working and everything going to be okay and the depression laughs in your face and comes back  worse my doctor upd my medicine  but all that does is help me function like a human and not want to sleep all day i know people can tell ive been asked multiple times at work if im okay but i can never bring myself to tell them i am suffering from major depression and i dont see much hope in the future is there an easy way to tell people so they will understand why i am not myself right now is this just the depression talking that makes me think that people will just think i want attentionsorry to lay it on here ive never posted here before and this was my first thought when i wanted to get it off my chest i dont have anywhere else to talk about this with,3.0
31494,i see one or two ppl im following agreeing with this and its really sad  i love watching quietly  you see how p ,1.0
31495,wubbzyjen good morning ,0.0
31496,jnicefanclub make us the slow jam cd ,0.0
31497,where on earth is the street sweeperi need to hurry home to get  more minutes sleep ,2.0
31498,so sad i wont b able to go to the eugenia kim sample sale in ny womp womp ,2.0
31499,i tried to numb the pain with alcohol for the  time i have gone through a hard breakup with a  year long girlfriend she was everything to me she had my heart completely in her handsand it went wrong i still love her immensely and its extremely hard not to think about her every day and i saw a woman at work that had the same look that i did when i have tried thought to commit suicide a few dozen timesso i drankim not proud of itbut i didi dont know what to do with myselfim a screwupi want to keep moving forward but i want to give up even morewhat can i do,3.0
31500, i feeel for sushi ,2.0
31501,snedwan pamjob  i feel like a racehorse via robineccles  im hung like one ,0.0
31502,hate walking to school i have a nearly hourlong commute walking to and from school the area i live in is pretty dumpy in terms of scenery i often pass by homeless people or at least folks that look really worn down theres places where theres no sidewalk its either uneven patches of dirt or i have to walk on the street im anxious about cars hitting me some people are reckless i hate how loud cars are its such a sad environment and i feel that it drains me to spend the time of day existing in it if theres a day where something bad happens it will trouble my mind the whole walk because theres nothing else to think about i cant deal ,3.0
31503,rt streepsoul i ⚪️ am lesbian⚪️ am straight 🔘 work all night i work all day to pay the bills i have to pay aint it sad and sti,1.0
31504,upset as ,2.0
31505,rt francesgracella lolita has been exploited for decadeskidnappedstarvedamp drugged along with another orca named hugoafter ,0.0
31506,rnewbury bless you  ,0.0
31507,trying to find the real alan carr ,2.0
31508,ggtheundead  its just gone up,0.0
31509,rvds saturday morning i think ,0.0
31510,watched my friends baby julia for hours yesterday feel totally dazzled by how wonderful she is she even got me to sing for her ,0.0
31511,male virgin  small penis lonely emasculated babyfaced resenting women  myself tldr  look at the titleokay first this is my biggest insecurity which has multiple layers of other insecurities buried beneath it okay so im a virgin at  years old i have a baby face and could easily pass for a  year old my penis measured a whopping total of  inches erect and on top of this i have been rejected by every and any female i have ever wanted to escalate with because i got attached instantly and always put her on a pedestal due to one female giving me some attention usually i meet a girl find her extremely attractive she doesnt reciprocate gives me a reason as to why im just a friend and how she wants me to stay in her life and continue filling the provider beta bitch role while she gets some alpha dick somewhere else this leads to the remaining confidence i manage to piece together since the last rejection being shattered into even smaller fragments so then comes this cycle of thought pattern first i feel resentment i feel angry sad and jealousy at the same time then i start thinking how all the women who dismissed me used me friendzoned me for a douchebag etc will eventually reach their expiration date after being knocked up and end up single mothers who will eventually hit their  and now they are done being burned by alphas so they start looking for a generic nice guy to provide them with stability or the ability to provide for her children whom are a financial black hole after all that i remember how even if i somehow managed to lose my virginity get in a serious relationship become very wealthy and successful and lead a quality life chances are i wont be able to sexually satisfy her with my pathetic excuse for a penis so she is going to cheat on me with someone who can and then return to enjoying the benefits i provide alpha fucks beta bucks so then i feel emasculated and less of a man and insecure then i get angry i get angry at the fact that i was born with this sad childlike penis and that nothing i do or say or create or pay for etc will change that it simply is i also think about how straight up fucking idiots who will amount to nothing but a  jail cell always end up with the girl i feel i shouldve had because i made the mistake of treating her with respect and the center of my world people seem to mistake kindness for weaknessso then i start thinking about how i should start treating women like shit and become more alpha yadayadabut end up not treating any women like shit because im not that kind of a person then i get motivated to get rich and start financially doing better etc for the wrong reasons its more because i want the same women who rejected me in the past for not having much to see me with everything in the future when i slam the door on her and her  fatherless children in their face when she comes crawling back i then start to tell myself how i dont need anybody but myself and all my money and stuff but deep down i know i just want to be loved by a woman for real but you cant make somebody like you then the theres plenty of fish in the sea kicks in and i forget about bitch  and meet bitch  that i really like and the cycle starts all over,3.0
31512,mikechiappetta you seem to be multitasking very well ,0.0
31513, lovesgreyboy what are you both playing link me up ,0.0
31514,eating a breadbowl pasta that i didnt order   bad dominos,2.0
31515,tracyloowho  but what about raaaaaaaaaaaaaahm ,2.0
31516,rt  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀retweet this in  seconds to have⠀⠀   a stress free junior year 🎓🎓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀,1.0
31517,crap the insurance company doesnt want to cover the loss of my glasses ,2.0
31518,going to kill myself watching drag me to hell ,2.0
31519,well im going to take a shwer  maybe ill tweet later  see you all later bey,0.0
31520, actually tear induced ,2.0
31521,anyone else struggling to find a point hi first time poster here and i feel as if my depression has been getting worse ive been dealing with it since i was a teenager its even harder now because im married and trying to communicate these things only make my husband worry i isolate myself from friends because just thinking about talking to them is mentally draining and since i grew up in an abusive house hold i dont talk to anyone but my sister my friends dont need me anyway theyre successful and im still trying to get my life together poor as fuck and searching for a way out surprisingly enough the poor aspect isnt the main reason why im depressed i think im scared that ill never find satisfaction in anything ill always be this broken person hell my husband even pointed out that i seem broken i dont know what to doi feel like im going to ruin my marriage if i dont kill myself first i cant find a point in anything now a days sorry for the rambling i just needed to get this off my chest,3.0
31522,advice help anthing is welcomed i have endogenous depression for about  years now i was able to cope until now i dont have much friends i have a really toxic and abusive family and im just looking for well feel less alone  i dont know if this is the right sub to post if this is even allowed   lately i have been struck with irracional fear of not being someone in life i study something really competitive and i feel like i cant keep up is it normal do these feelings go away   thanks for reading knowing that somehow my toughts reach someone out there makes me feel better,3.0
31523,tonythaxton if it had twice the story line of the first one itd still be lame im waiting for iron man ,0.0
31524,you hear about the crows that killed themselves all at the same time it was apparently a murdersuicide,1.0
31525,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
31526,quinion i miss you sooooooooo much ,2.0
31527,janetfcknleigh no giving kids a can of gasoline  to play with at the campfire is a bad idea depending if you like the kids oo  ,0.0
31528,has applied for like  jobs in the last  days no response ,2.0
31529,i want to break this endless circle i see no way out of my situation and seriosly started considering suicide i spend half of my salary on meds and therapy got bipolar disorder and barely clinging to work and to the university i havent visited taekwondo for a month and a half i still have my last term exams but i dont want anything i am just watching series playing videogames and waiting for the next day my current depression last since november sometimes im starting to feel better and it is where the main problem comes i need to finish my tasks and id like to work on in cause some of them are unfinished for a months but other people sees that i feel better and they want me to do something parents want me to do housework relatives also gave something gf and friends wants time with me and all if them pulls me away from my plans and uses me till i wasted and none of my stamina and courage left and the routine repeates i can do what they demand from me but only about a half i can clean all the house alone i cant hang out with friend for  hours i cant spend  days in a row with gf or talk to her for hours and when i try to tell what i need and what i want and what im capable of they just becoming angry it seems for me that they just want what they want from me nevermind the consequences for me and im to polite to refuse harshly yes  they also want to help me to pull me out of my shell to life but they overdoing and after accomplishing their need and have no idea what i want and what are my needs all i want is to be left alone,3.0
31530,lewisshepherd you too  do something special for your wife this weekend make her breakfast in bed or something,0.0
31531,learn to live in the present moment and reduce anxiety and fear    shiftyourlifecom,1.0
31532,just came out to my mom about my depression and cutting i feel horrible last night i  had a bit of an episode i really cant explain it but it had to do hearing voices sorta after dealing with an almost panic attack i was finally driven to telling my mom stuff i had just gone through and had in the past ive had  big bouts of depression last year in the more recent one  ish months ago i had begun cutting myself i had gotten over it mostly and was doing pretty good until the last  days something hit me hard and last night i came really close to cutting myself again like knife against skin close i dont know what came over me but i had to get it out ive been hiding my scars for months i cant believe i opened upim genuinely terrified of what happens next i dont want to go to therapy i dont want to be someone who needs help i just want to be a normal teenage boy and ive been living that fantasy for the last  months im lost as to what to do or say to my parents now that they know,3.0
31533,i cant believe i missed sytycd tonight ,2.0
31534,looking for interesting people to follow  ,0.0
31535,i hate myselfthats all thanks for coming to my tedtalk,3.0
31536,what a day if we get a summer lik this there will be no boston n july may da sun and da beer flow ,0.0
31537,thanks for the followfriday mentions  zenityhf trachena tearyeyezs dtpriceless dorianbrown,0.0
31538,wonders why her internet connection sucks  ,2.0
31539,the stupid italianamerican festival at the fairgrounds is interrupting my sleep im a crabby pants ,2.0
31540,cocofontana your twit about the parent enraged me its sad that people like that are still living ,2.0
31541,stluciangirly i wanna be there i would not study but itd be worth it lolol i miss ya  lol i was here sayin trah lets go to krissys,2.0
31542,kimkardashian i have and then i was totally regretted  hope youre not gonna do that your hair is gorgeous,2.0
31543,kimkardashian im mowing tones of yards yah ,2.0
31544,akgovsarahpalin great oped gov i completely agree with you dcs screwed up everything already dont need them screwing us more ,0.0
31545,janeryubjennie i am pretty sure agree butㅡit doesnt work on me since ive tried that thing before sad,0.0
31546,how do i convey to my therapist that im not fine everytime my therapist greets me he comes to the front of the clinic and i get up from my chair and he asks how i am as we are walking to his office and i usually just say im fine but often times im not fine  i dont know what else to say should i start to explain my week to him i feel comfortable enough in our sessions to talk about pretty much anythingbut i just feel like sometimes i dont get everything out in a session that i need to,3.0
31547,should i quit my job mid school year i am a teacher last school year i began to feel depressed and decided i didnt want to do it again this year however multiple people said to give it another try given that i had a hard class and was at a rough school this year i switched schools but i still havent been enjoying it i have been feeling depressed since october and it seems it has only been getting worse i have talked to someone and have been taking antidepressants but it seems as though they havent been working i have been crying every night and some mornings about going to work my husband says my mental health is more important and i should quit but i feel like i am letting so many people down the kids admin and the parents are all going to have so much adjustment i love my admin and my kids and dont want to feel like im failing them it is only  months until summer should i suck it up these last couple of months,3.0
31548, omg got my ball shoes today ,0.0
31549,geekcatnip you have great friends coworkers and fans that care for you i see you as a little sister seeing you  makes me ,2.0
31550,all time low im really laying in my bed praying that ill die soon in an accident or something quick painless and unexpected i want to die but i dont want to know when it happens,3.0
31551,aravindkumar has it yet p my gprs not setting up right ,2.0
31552,ohhhh how i hate rain ,2.0
31553,drinking at a bar full of friends but i still feel alone  anyone feel the same,3.0
31554,nedrunning oh and thanks for the followfriday ,0.0
31555,lessucettes she worked in usa for like a lot of time  and now shes convinced that i have suicidal thoughts shes not right is she,0.0
31556,first day of school tomorrow greaaaat ,2.0
31557,always 💗 httpstcoijjghmpfoj,2.0
31558,samyogita uhoh i aint following robert sean leonard but yeah ive doubts about hughs profile ,2.0
31559,im leaving to schooolto my final exams  wish me luck ,0.0
31560,gonna go now feel like shit  bye tweeple,2.0
31561,none of my followers wanna talk  shame shame shame,2.0
31562,im on the computer its real y quiet to melt the awkward ice im listening to overdosin by heidi montag  ,0.0
31563,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
31564,no energy to get my life back im  atm and dont remember feeling happy i struggled with ocd and depression for years recently i started theraphy a month ago which really makes me more hopeless i cant connect whith my therapist at all i feel emotional numbness through the day and dont know what to do about it cant handle my situation i still go to work like a hollow person but i feel alienated with other people dont know what to do anymore i pushed myself to workout i bought new clothes and care for myself but nothing helps i try really hard going out with friends  which sadly does only help for as long it goesthe worst part is i feel loosing my personality in the process i just cant connect with myself anymorei just dont know what to do can anyone give me some helpadvice on this,3.0
31565,am i the only one who finds it difficult to let others go i cant be the only one but it looks like i am i see people around me build relationships and then break them and move on as if it was nothing recently most of my friends left to live far from me college and stuff like that and i find it weird that all of them didnt even see it as a big deal while i feel bad for seeing people i care about leaving my life it feels as if they dont carei simply cant understand how people have the strength to move on and forget about others so easily thats beyond my comprehension does anyone else agree,3.0
31566,picked up a netbook for the kids its a pretty cool machine more powerful than the one i used when i started at thetus ,0.0
31567,jordanknight saw you in manchesternh in march couldnt get wheelchair tix to mansfieldboston this time around ,2.0
31568,aaaah im very tired i will sleep  hours  xd  internet is very hmm,0.0
31569,zsbcreations i actually do want to go back to bed  im lazzzzzzzzzzzy,2.0
31570,im thinking that the world is soooo unfair and im sure some of you think the same as me ,2.0
31571,pfspleen well thats just being mean ,2.0
31572,tired ive been tryna stay positive and optimistic but im literally just sinking lower amp lower everyday every time i talk to a girl dating theres another guy amp a bunch of other problems like depersonalization depression anxiety i cant even bring myself to make music which is my passion i constantly feel like im dying or that im gonna die amp when im not feeling like that i just dont wanna be around at all i tell people how i feel amp i just get seen as being dramatic or im told its all in my head i feel alone everyday amp to make it worst my reality feel unreal,3.0
31573,better   is amazed how two hours can make a world of difference ,0.0
31574,ludajuice damn i gotta get mine out next week sounds rough ,2.0
31575,im hoping for a busy dispatch shift tonight want phone sex call my girls at  ,0.0
31576,jcinista my poor little hometown does  vallejo you prolly havent heard of it,2.0
31577,pattydaine granada sounds fun  wish i was there  i may be very soon ,0.0
31578,onelovelylibra i dont get it ,2.0
31579,help i have gone to three different psychiatrists and all of them prescribed me ssris and told me that i had depressionthe problem is that my brain is telling me that i am faking it and that i am okay and that there is no need for medications and that what i am doing is just attention seekingi refuse to believe i am depressed because i can get out of bed go to work and talk to people normally i just cant believe i am depressed although i am feeling bad all the time,3.0
31580,bored now that jennna left me on msn ,2.0
31581,going to bed listening to jb   horseback riding tomorrrrow,0.0
31582,adamkent  he asked me if i understood my job amp if some training was needed  but yeah pure jane version not much hissjust bleating,2.0
31583,im feeling depressed and i hate feeling like this   i feel numb i feel empty and yet overwhelmed at the same time i dont know how to process anything anymore i feel like i am drowning in my depression again i thought about suicide just now and for the first time i thought it was an option again that scares but also makes me feel calm like there is a light at the end of this fucked up tunnel the problem is im scared where my mind is at so is my best friends and that scares me more than life itself she never really talks to me anymore so i feel like my mind always has to full in the gaps and so maybe im overthinking it but i love her and want her to be okayive got to be okay when she isnti want to cut i want to cut more than life itself but i also want to take a whole bunch of pills and float away i want to not deal with it anymore i want to go to the land of not coping,3.0
31584,where is djimpulse ,2.0
31585,its now  days since i gave up smoking feeling much healthier ive found it easy and cant see myself ever being a smoker again ,0.0
31586,plip can you still only have one active sync provider in  i want my work email synced but my google calendar and it doesnt let me ,2.0
31587,kyelani gonna do the run later this afternoon as originally planned  no procrastination herehonest ,0.0
31588, i love you  i saw the dateline special i want to be you haha,0.0
31589,im still here somehow idk i dont really feel anything by now its like days weeks months years just go by me killing me slowly i have been a shutin since august of  i havent gone out to find a job yet my life is a wreck my mother still believes i can do it but i dont really feel anything i wish i could enjoy life but is there anything to enjoy by now i cant even read properly my brain feels like its floating or something and all i do is wake up use the computer for over  hours a day eat hang around with my family for less than an hour to show that im still alive since my grandmother believes that if i dont show myself there i probably commited suicide   i dont have money of my own to pay for a shrink or medicine i cant get help from the state because depression isnt a disability and all of my days are just the same routine repeated over and over and over and over and over again  sorry if i redacted this like shit but i dont even know how to write properly anymore,3.0
31590,its naynays last day ,2.0
31591,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
31592,stephanieegavin i love you sooo much ,0.0
31593,dougiemcfly  cant come  i love u guys,2.0
31594,donniewahlberg  i wish i had the opportunity for a real hug and not a twug ,2.0
31595,dinner and star trek with friends tonight aw yea ,0.0
31596,kosso awesome  just checking ,0.0
31597, i know ,2.0
31598,my little brothers kitten is going to die soon my little brothers my little brothers name is chase kitten whos name is little mcmuffin sniff will be dead from fip this is no doubt a sad moment for everyone in my family why did it have to end so soon for her why i am spending every last moment with her why isnt there a cure for fip it feels so cruel to be in a world like this me my little brother and my big brother jd are all depressed from poor muffins sickness,3.0
31599,  that is such a nice thought  i hope to pass this on yu got it right ,0.0
31600,my search for green is making some get more red adding more blues to our nights ,0.0
31601,wow so many ff props will def return the favor  when i have more time  thanks a bunch,0.0
31602, i really wishhope i couldwill caracas is suffocating me ,2.0
31603,exhausted all day but when its bedtime i cant sleep and its too late to take tylenol pm fml ,2.0
31604,trying to get out of bed ,2.0
31605,ready for this holiday weekend but i have to work ,2.0
31606, whatbecause of david  makes me want to cry who would do that youre really strong for not telling him that he would hate it,2.0
31607,cleaning my roompacking but ugg my ankle is killing me ,2.0
31608,ottabek ,1.0
31609,i am in love with someone who does not love me sucks ,2.0
31610,bryancheung no no loling its not funny it is sad ,2.0
31611,monikkinom the a bass drum is played with leg only ,0.0
31612,my coffee cup has been returned too bad the coffee in our kitchen is bitter and bad tasting ,2.0
31613,i fantasize about someone else killing me because suicide isnt acceptable i constantly fantasize about being caught in the cross fire of a shooting or accidentally being hit by a car i often hope that i will be the target of a random murder all this because suicide isnt socially acceptable and this way i dont have to do it myself my plan used to be to slit my wrists but apparently when you slit them you have to cut quite deep past layers of fat to the bone i dont think i could handle that but i want to leave this world so fucking badly i saw a post that asked if you felt you were destined for suicide and that really resonated with me ive repeatedly told my horrified parents over the years that they should not be surprised if i commit suicide i am nearly  sure that i will die before  currently  and ive known this since i was about ,3.0
31614,teresawrote thank you  great idea  i always make things harder than they should be ,0.0
31615,ate lunch outside at vancouver convention centre and didnt want to come back  i made it though ,2.0
31616,ktburrr oh how i miss rent ,2.0
31617,on a serious note though the day let me think about the red indians morewhere are they ,2.0
31618,life feels like its going nowhere and parents arent very supportive now to note this im  im not suicidal and im not diagnosed with clinical depression   throughout my childhood i was bullied hardcore from  but every since i turned  things have been much worse feeling ive been failing every adulthood matter that there is and my parentswhom i live with are just calling it my fault granted they love me but everyone i know is pissed and judgmental of them for a reasonthey believe that when youre any adult that you shouldnt have to rely on anyone to be successful or get anywhere even to land a job and they dont help me at all for finding a job they only tell me if a place is hiring even if i cant get transportation to work there  they believe that the only true pride of adulthood is accomplishing things through blood sweat and tears and if youre angry stressed or frustrated then you should use it as motivation to try harder   if you fail at something then its your fault for the failureeven if it was out of your hands or control and you should be trying harderex i couldnt get call backs for interviews or jobs and my father said well if you were trying hard enough then youd have a job start badgering them daily not this once a week bullshit  even though theyll wish happy birthday to me if i want to be around friends and family and have a proper fun time for my birthday and it doesnt happen my mother tells me i have no sympathy birthdays are only just another day they arent all that special they dont support my dreams instead my father tells me sitting around on your ass all day isnt a real job and they want me to put everything in my life on hold until i can go out and survive on my own and be a proper adultwith everything having me stressed and my parents arguing with me to stop going to what destress myself and use my stress to fuel myself to fix my life it just really puts a damper on my whole life im not a millennial i want to work hard to get where i want to go but to my parents they want me to live one way despite me being an adult makes me feel like im not unique or my own person,3.0
31619,im sadi met the guy of my dreamsin my dreams and i didnt even get his name or number ahh  swt dreams again tonight please,2.0
31620,i wanna go to linnanmäki again ,2.0
31621,i really need a listening ear and help right now im sorry im just going through a really rough time this very moment and ive got no one to talk to,3.0
31622,i lost my notebook at the library i guess  aww the notebook tells i am sick i hope no one hasnt read them ,2.0
31623,hey tiffany  ,0.0
31624,tommcfly tom i alredy miss you in s�o paulo  but im glad you back tomorrow   wish i could see youtake a picture with you ,2.0
31625,pulling the illness card whenever shit goes wrong and i have a panic attack or an anxiety attack god forbid i have a hard time calming down my mom immediately uses her diabetes against me youre stressing me out you dont want me to die right ok thanks for freaking me out more the amount of guilt i get from them is insane not to long ago i left my house in an attempt to clear my head i didnt inform my parents which was a bad move and i regret that my sister calls me saying where are you youre scaring mom shes gonna die if you keep doing this i immediately felt horrible and sobbed in my moms car as she drove me homethen my dad stop acting like this your dad has high blood pressure do you want him to die no i dont want him to die but dont fucking put the responsibility on your  year old daughter like what do you want me to do cure him i try my best to not indulge them in my problems as i know it stresses them out but half the time it feels like they want me to explode on them the guilt is just eating me up and im not sure how to handle iti just want to leave this fucking house as soon as possible that way i dont have to affect their health,3.0
31626,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
31627,i realllllly wish i had a ticket to the keith urban concert tonight ,2.0
31628,finding out that you are depressed did anyone else feel a slight feeling of excitement when you realized you were depressed because you finally realized what was wrong with you and that you werent the only one experiencing itfor years before i thought depression was only intense sadness and despair and never realized that it could be not wanting to do anything and having a general bleak outlook for your future,3.0
31629,tdangkhoa à há  but im jobless now ,2.0
31630,thedevilicious how long did you run for i cant even manage ten mins  xxx,2.0
31631, after goin to the ranch togetheri thought we were better friends than this  haha,2.0
31632,thearabasbas kaninang morning ,2.0
31633,movies was funthanks to those who went wouldnt have wanted to go with nebody else  tomarrow shall b epic now its bed for will,0.0
31634,what is the difference between being sad sometimes and depression i realize now that i get really sad at some points and now it has become more frequent telling myself im worthless and have no future but later i will get right back to being fine and happy i know depression is a constant sadness but after an episode of sadness i will tell myself im fine and that im not depressed just because i get sad sometimes but i have heard that people can be in a stage of denial and say they arent when they really are so im not doing some self diagnosis i just want to know what it sounds like to you guys and if it sounds as if im just blowing it out of proportion and its normal or if should seek help,3.0
31635,why did i suddenly think it was june  i got all excited about  days till holidays and realized its the   im sicker than i thought,2.0
31636,dstanek if i am working and others having fun  they have to pay ,0.0
31637,aarrrgh  simon cowell isnt active on here  ,2.0
31638,ellenstafford i was good i put suncream on before i went walking today ,0.0
31639,poker is not my game ,2.0
31640,stay away evil migraine i can feel you lurking still in the back of my head ,2.0
31641,itchy ear ,2.0
31642,i am exhausted but i have so much work to do i have an assignment due on wednesday and i dont even know where to start ,2.0
31643,good morning  library to study all day exam at  in the am tomorrow agh,0.0
31644,ashguiuan lucky it is not a nice day here  hella fog status,2.0
31645,heidirange when are you performing in scotland you know you want to ,0.0
31646,taramasatala me miss them already ,2.0
31647,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
31648,studying chemistry     its so not fun,2.0
31649,a hole that leads down to the centre of the earth i was just standing outside of my room smoking and dry heaving as i stood there staring at the ground i imagined a hole that leads down to the centre of the earth opening up in front of me and thought about what it would be like to jump in this reminded me of a dream i had when i was really young about a puddle in my driveway that had a giant red star submerged inside of it if we go anywhere when we die its probably somewhere like thatthey say we were all apart of created in stars and supernovas its probably safe to assume that we will be apart of them again someday in some sense,3.0
31650,rt zealtae seattlesd  btstwt please dont embarrass actual mental health professionals in this way,1.0
31651,titanic is on again tonight im watching it for real this time but its not a trending topic ,2.0
31652,finished marshalling at the triathlon  off to find beer and food ,0.0
31653,duncor thanks ,0.0
31654,emalea i know i dont know how we missed each other we were in the same place at the same time i still have not met rg ,2.0
31655,rt littlemisslinht the day a boy gets me flowers wo me asking im going to fucking die bc no ones ever liked me that much lmfao 🙃 brb,1.0
31656,my northern downpour membership expired today ,2.0
31657,rt vrisycha my deep condolences for tae amp his family i know this is not easy but dont dissolve in sadness if u continue to sad then ur g,1.0
31658,blakelivelyweb hey  just wondered if you could use some blake icons for your website xx,0.0
31659,aww sheeeet dentist in the morning ,2.0
31660,regrets maybe its just the depression talking but i regret sooo much about my life that it makes me feel sickspending so much of my youth on the internet when im done with this post im going to log off and limit myself to a half hour of internet per daygaining weight im going to download a caloriecounting app and join the y tomorrow enough is enoughfighting with my sister as a kid and a teenager it was over the stupidest shitmoping so much about workplace bullies and guy troubles in my  instead of focusing on the good things i had like my dog or my familychanging my major from art to something else because i felt intimidated by other artists i should have just practiced hard and used their success as motivation for myselfspending the last four years not doing any hobbies because of anhedonia im going to make myself engage in hobbies for ten minutes a day if i dont feel like doing more fine if i end up doing more also fine either way i can say i triedholding grudges its just pointlessnot keeping in touch with people im a terrible letter writer but i should have tried to keep in contact with old friends i moved a lotnot speaking to people because i thought i would say stupid things i think most people appreciate you trying to talk to them even if what you say is dumb than just not saying anything i feel like i would have more friends today if i had talked to people morehonestly i wish i could go back in time with the knowledge i have now and do things over maybe id be a happier person today and maybe i wouldnt be struggling with depression i dont know,3.0
31661,heading down to kl now for dinner see you guys at the show later ,0.0
31662,rt oraltwjnk depression ,2.0
31663,on the way to fresno to support my girlie ,0.0
31664,ive started playing left  dead its pretty good except i suck at fps ive been kicked a few times  its dangerously addictive,2.0
31665,how much time for trintellix to work helloif you have taken trintellix how long did it take before you felt effects on your mood anxiety andor motivationtonight will be my  dose i may have felt a slight mood improvement but it could be placebogenetic testing found im a poor metabolizer and should stick to no more than  mg im on  mg but since im a poor metabolizer thats probably more like  mg for other peoplethank you ,3.0
31666,waiting for my bf to come online ,0.0
31667,bammmo id say my place but i have plans ,2.0
31668,writeranonymous right after i finish writing and posting the new cat amp muse interview wjet ,0.0
31669,jaylink  i was able to add you ,0.0
31670,this its better than getting a gp that may potentially be emotionally abusive because they think youre being rud ,1.0
31671,finding meaning amp fulfillment am i wrong to want to find meaning and fulfillment in life it is the greatest source of my hopelessness and depressioni cant have children my family have all passed away or live overseas i live in a foreign country where no matter how hard i try i still feel like an outsider and i work in a soulless unrewarding corporate job im completely and utterly stucki do have many things going for me like a nice home to come home to a good marriage and enough food to eatbut its not enough why do i have to want more why do i need to feel the need to care for others and find joy in my daily work why do i need a community around me why cant i just be happy with what i have and live in the present help,3.0
31672, you could sell your body for the money id say its worth it  how was history,0.0
31673,drewseeley yeah i still havent seen it but everyone i know has  love noodles,2.0
31674,soo freaking bored xoiivvyyxo callmee ,0.0
31675,omg this shit is so funny now i must go to bed   ,2.0
31676,sweet brother bought guess pumps for me but little too damn tight ,2.0
31677,so i gotta flat this morninsucks gotta get a new tire ,2.0
31678,is off to ollies closet for the childrens proofs ,0.0
31679,fuckin hell i want to destroy my lecturers why out of all days it has to be then uni is mcshit at times   ,2.0
31680,jongin bitch stop making me sad ,2.0
31681,gabrielsaporta twasnt a good hair day for me either ,0.0
31682,how do you let it out whenever i start feeling sad i feel the emotion start to build and then almost immediately it just dissipates like water going down a drain which just ends up making me feel empty and dissatisfied today i finally managed to let it out a bit a couple tears came out but thats it i still feel so numb i really wanna cut myself,3.0
31683,not happy with any of the beta apps ive tried today ,2.0
31684,ernin i know trents got nothing on me ,0.0
31685,sochews hahaha fai lets catch up soon aight ,0.0
31686,i sang in church today ,0.0
31687,hasnt talked to sam in a super long time  ,2.0
31688,feel like banging my head on the monitor here in front of me there is a freaking cobol code that is acting up and fails to behave ,2.0
31689,barryzito whew close game grrrreat win fiiiinally sheesh knew u could do it ,0.0
31690,mileycyrus nickjonas omg before the storm is amazing its beautifully written and sung ,0.0
31691,double suicide in family first time posting here ill try to keep it short ive been battling my depression for as long as i can remember im doing better now as an adult and realizing that my medication doesnt make me happy it lets me be happy anyway my dad took his life back in  i was  at the time and in and out of the hospital for attempts it was all so hush hush some of my family would lie about how my dad died fast forward my cousin took his life in  he was young  ive been supportive of my uncle aunt and cousin through this time but i find myself angry they are open about how their son died they do walks they talk about suicide they donate to prevention causes what about my dad what about his memory and his life there is no acknowledgment of his suicide all these years ago they dont walk for him or have a banner made for him the difference in how each suicide is being treated makes me mad where was my support where was the walks to celebrate his life where is his memory i feel bad for feeling this way my cousins death shattered my family all over again but its different this time whats wrong with me,3.0
31692,youre so good looking how can you be depressed this sounds like a humble brag but it really grinds my gears being told this the statement is ignorant and while its meant as a compliment it actually makes you feel worse,3.0
31693,why the hell i feel like this ,2.0
31694,jabberjim really yay fellow coffee drinker ppl think im nuts but i love the taste haha thank u btwso gross ,0.0
31695,ahmedzainal its ok matei know where you are for  hours a day ,0.0
31696, how u aint me son smhim tight ,2.0
31697,weschicklit lolthanks for the support ,0.0
31698,had a great time while in tx today i saw a guy at dfw wearing a quotty rulesquot tshirt  also thanked  soldiers for serving our country  ,0.0
31699,kimboinlimbo yup got my iphone and my cigarettes pretty sure everything else is expendable ,0.0
31700,aningherda upload farewell partys photo please ,0.0
31701,downloading the sims  again  i hope that this time it´s the true,2.0
31702,i wish i could be with my friends in their time of need ,2.0
31703,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
31704,sitting overlooking the river thames amp ate fish amp chips with quotmushy peasquot  delicious  heading to big ben amp parliment,0.0
31705,charleneortiz i like quotbottom of the oceanquot  miley cyrus ,0.0
31706,poolside at the mondrian ,0.0
31707,lindsayt really you should have said something you could have come with me and my friend sorry ,2.0
31708,hoping i can play luna tomorrow and get a few lvls lvl  currently trying to get opals so i can reinforce my set with lots of vit  ftw,0.0
31709,hello to all the people i am connected here in twitter ,0.0
31710,i hope tae gets all the strength its such a sad news he must be having such a hard time 😔😔,1.0
31711,i think i might watch final destination  hehe,0.0
31712,looking at wedding dressesfound  i like   cant wait to show mom d,0.0
31713,vandalyzm no its not coolbut its so muchill have to hit u via aim ,2.0
31714,bos two thumbs up for star trek  worth to watch,0.0
31715,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
31716,misstoniii so glad im not at uni anymore ,0.0
31717,jessicapaulson  also thanks to you folloooow ,0.0
31718,ahhh my eyes can now relax new layout ,0.0
31719,ricki is having the day off with nicole going to buy  because were  ,0.0
31720,officialashleyg aww he is so cuuute  how old is he,0.0
31721,neverending i feel so sad and ive been this way for as long as i can remember im  my moods are extremely erratic and i feel out of control for the most part theres speculation of a personality disorder i cry a lot and feel so sad to then feeling completely out of it and dissociate from myself as if my body isnt my own i have no motivation or hope im tired of feeling this way all the time its a constant roller coaster that i cant get off im so alone i want more than anything just to have a normal life i see old friends progressing into their careers starting families travelling the world in loveand im sat in my room most of the time because im terrified of the world im terrified of loss rejection the future im terrified of myself i feel very lost and empty i struggle with my identity and knowing who i am i struggle making conversation because i have nothing to say i find myself getting irritated and angry at everything lately i feel like i hate everyone but i dont want too like why is my life like this i dont want to hurt anyone by committing suicide but i find myself thinking about it a lot i pray at night that i die in my sleep or that i get cancer awful i know if i could take the place of someone really sick i would gladly because i feel like my life isnt worth anything im drifting through life with no direction no reason for anything i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
31722,lucasappleton hey there ,0.0
31723,ok this might sound weird but it blows my mind that people can leave their house without feeling anxious like ive ,1.0
31724,ny gets a cc  gr   andreshenriquez interactive look at how your state compares against intl benchmarks httpbitlyssnlz,2.0
31725,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
31726,the only bad thing is that im doing my programming assignment ,2.0
31727,sunday homework day ,2.0
31728,rt billboard lil pump amp smokepurpp bring out xxxtentacions mother for sad tribute performance in miami httpstcotlxorypztp https,0.0
31729,its so frikkin hot gtlt how are yall doin ,0.0
31730,damnlazy much laundry then sleepy time to wake up early for work in the am   final exams week,2.0
31731,adeu sylvinho gracies per tot ,0.0
31732,niveauxbandit heyy are you ok i know it sucks having her in you dorm but i assure you it will be ok ,0.0
31733,se me rompieron los auriculares y mi hermana me dijo this is so sad alexa you cant play despacito,2.0
31734,i sad faced kitty ,2.0
31735, ohmyhoishi my sad life vero 😂😂,2.0
31736,dia número uno in dc awesome group awesome city ,0.0
31737,neothaone hurt u didnt say good morning to me ,2.0
31738,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
31739,how do you get out of bed i cant seem to find any reason thats good enough to wake up only work and school and thats its own struggle all together i feel so useless and unmotivated in life and i dont want to tell anyone in real life because i dont want to be a burden or seem like im whining i have a good life from the outside but inside im just dead and going through the motions for everyone else ,3.0
31740,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
31741, because i had been horribly horribly sick ,2.0
31742,fuckyouuseyou no its fine and that sucks ,2.0
31743,depression depression clouds my mind hollows me out till im an empty shell of whom i was  everything is bleak and hopeless  meaninglessness abounds and i know not for what i live  i sob but my eyes are mostly dry  inside another little piece of me dies  in bed paralyzed by fear i await sleep but it comes not  will tomorrow be the same  how much more can i stand  directionless i wander from one day to another the hours pass like snowfall  heavy in my heart and burdened be i wonder if anyone cares  the world seems like such an alien and forbidding place  desperately i search for something to do to distract me from this endless void  human connections i have but little  a normal life seems a million miles away  where is my life my partner my career  jobless i stand before that dark spectre depression,3.0
31744,there is the olney days parade going on but i do not feel like going to it alone ,2.0
31745,going to su hi tmrw for sats with donia and monica i barely studied ,2.0
31746,today we have a holiday until tomorrow have a nice day ,0.0
31747,so pleased diversity won  and surprised that genuine talent won out bgt,0.0
31748,dotwaffle not been to any demoscene stuff in forever loved fcs demos in  tho and some of memmakers  album sounds similar ,0.0
31749,o allah i take refuge in you from anxiety and sorrow weakness and laziness miserliness and cowardice the burden of debts,2.0
31750,steelkey it is definitely wineoclock ,0.0
31751,ahh music video premiere of davidarchies touch my hand here loveit and now starting to vote for it hoorah  goodeve,0.0
31752,now im over at my grandmas house  my brother is finishing some yard work for her before he goes to watch trains i love my grandma  ,0.0
31753,great twiiter background  farrhad httptwittercomfarrhad  love it ,0.0
31754,whats the point everybody that i tell about my depression leaves me  about  months ago i opened up to a friend about all of my problems  i told her everything the selfharm how i stopped eating and how i was having panic attacks on a daily basis  she listened and said that she was here for me and to call her if i felt like i was gonna do something  i really did believe her and we called and talked everyday and it really did make everything better  after a few months of this she just stopped talking to me all of a sudden  i was really confused and thought that something had happened to her so i texted her asking if she was ok and if she needed any help with anything  i got no response so i thought she was just busy with work  i decided to give her time but after a week of no contact i texted my friend and asked if hed heard from her  she had told him that she was uncomfortable talking with me because of my depression  so because she was uncomfortable with me she stopped talking to me all together  and today i found out that she blocked me on everything so i cant even call her if i try  the worst part is this isnt the first time something like this has happened  ive told others about my problems and they get uncomfortable and stop talking to me  i know most people would say that they werent real friends if they do that but they were still friends and i still cared for them  its hard for me to just move on like some people can  these are people that i imagined spending years together with  and i know that not all people are like that but i just dont see the point in going out and trying to make friends again if this could happen again the very thought of it happening again almost makes me want to throw up  i suppose im just trying to make friends with real people who understand me but its hard and i can barely see the point in doing it anymore  its almost easier to isolate myself than go back through the process of meeting people  i dont even know why im typing this out maybe i just wanted to look at the words in my head  i dont even know if ill post this  i just dont know what im doing anymore and thats the worst part of it all  i dont know what to do,3.0
31755,really struggling mentally ive been really sick the last eight months or so and the worse part is the amount of people that went away when i got sick my mom passed away two days ago could really just use some kind words stuffs been really hard and now i cant afford food for the next month or so even though im working forty hours a week no friends no family around to help just been meds and rent lately its like i already felt discouraged as is and now its even worse like how do you keep going what do you even do at this point i grew up in a really abusing household and im really grasping with all the mixed feelings of losing my mother i could just use some kind thoughts and just someone to vent to would be nice,3.0
31756,possibly unpopular opinion what if in some weird way however wellthought out or not  is selena trying try ,2.0
31757,mental health is so important take time for yourself collect your thoughts and let your worries go  it will be ,0.0
31758,i need to fix up my life but dont know where to start im  without a drivers license not going to college and i dont have a job i just feel like im a fuck up for my age everyone else i know has a job or goes to college and can drive it just makes me feel down ive wasted my time and made wrong decisions when i was a little younger such as not getting my permit or license as soon as i could i just feel like shit ,3.0
31759,rt imelbing dearconnie cuddling increases oxytocin levels  a bonding hormone it can help to reduce blood pressure that can lead to,0.0
31760,mspecht vjealous mate enjoy sounds awesome  hopefully youll fit in some time for the summit too ,0.0
31761,enjoying the beautiful sunshine today ,0.0
31762,heatherxdaniels man i wasnt i left it in my purse in the car idk who gave me my phone idk  it sucks,2.0
31763,back from dr have tonsilitisstrep throat today would not be a good day to make out with me   i feel soooo yuk,2.0
31764,any other college students struggling this time a year im finishing up my third year this semester has been an absolute shit show i feel lost i feel alone i feel like family is losing faith in me my grades this semester arent the best and my moms is constantly playing mind games on me and it sucks she says itll be okay whatever grades you get its fine you still have a  gpa but i know deep down shes disappointed ive been unmotivated for months and have been in a self struggle that she doesnt even know the half ofi just feel like an absolute failure and dont know what ill end up with or what ill end up doing anyone else feel somewhat relatable to this,3.0
31765,ddlovato  june is the us date to relase or is possible find it also in other country   jade,0.0
31766,its taken me almost  hours to finish a regular sized can of red bull everytime i swallow my kidneys hurt uhoh ,2.0
31767,rt tweetislamik  ayat utk diamalkan bila downstressdizalimidicacitaubah ankabut yunus hud  amp fatir azzu,1.0
31768,working on a saturday sucks ,2.0
31769,awake real shocker there  ,2.0
31770,is are still sad about duke nukem forever being canceled  httppingfmudshc,2.0
31771,i hate finals ,2.0
31772,i have lost everything just need some help through this i dont know why im posting here i just really need someone to talk to who doesnt know me it started like  years ago when my father died that really messed with me for awhile my fiance just graduated college and we moved into my mothers place  states away because she  would get a better job easier who h she did everything is going well really but i feel like im sinking i have a  year old daughter who is my life i still just feel like i cant be happy at the moment everything in my entire life fit into a trailer when we moved and now living with my mother is not as good as i thought i came home to her cleaning and moving my things all of my things in my life are being messed with i felt like my privacy was being completely pushed around and broken i cook meals for everyone before they get off work i clean the kitchen and do dishes laundry is dome by me and folded my fiance is adjusting to her new job which shes is just so busy at which is fine i just something feels like ive lost it sorry this is all random im just typing as i think if no one responds its fine i just feel better getting it off my chest,3.0
31773,i just want to die honestly and thats it because apparently there is just nothing good in this world for me and the only option i have to solve everything and enter into a neverending sleep is  death my life is very boring and too bland i just dont want to live this kind of nightmare,3.0
31774,tractorqueen  maybe that can be the next mission start a campaign to get u girls to oz  a fund drive the blockheads can donate ,0.0
31775,rt yoonkimoon number  cause of my anxiety ,2.0
31776,i just feel worthless lately ive been feeling so lonely everyday i go to school to be ignored and looked down upon and i come home to hear my parents calling me a failure i know im pretty quiet and shy at school but ive never acted in a rude way to any of my classmates yet they still make me feel as if its my fault everyone hates me i wish i had a close friend or something to talk about this i wish i could talk to a therapist or some other professional but my parents would never allow me to see one help i dont know what to do,3.0
31777,tislundi i worked at a library during uni last year and i was so crushed it didnt live up to my expectations ,2.0
31778,didnt get her first choice for rag day ,2.0
31779,first post here things feel bad i cant shake my depression even with medicine my wife is fed up and ready to leave me because of it i am at my wits end and feel like its time for me to pass on i need help and support doctors aewnr doing the job idk what to do,3.0
31780,ewwkathryn actually very jealous  i want to go back to class now,2.0
31781,satalite thanks ted u have a great evening too ,0.0
31782,this stardoll stuff is fun ,0.0
31783,  puerto rico  actually rehearsars,0.0
31784,stupid sht i was always depressed as long as i can remember then i got into a long distance relationship with a girl we live thousands of miles away but she gave me a reason to wake up to every morning weve been together for two years im in my late teens and shes in her early teenage years she was sole reason i kept going she was depressed and had other mental problems too neither of us had any friends we were there for each other and suddenly everything just changed she slowly got friends and then she started smoking with themi  kept on asking her to stop  because im very concerned about her and one day i woke up to her sending me a picture of her cuddling with one of her friends who was a guy she told me that she was happy and she wanted to be free shes about to start high school in a week and she told me she didnt want our relationship stressing her out and she didnt want a relationship anymore so she left me but she still talks to me it all happened so sudden i tried i tried i tried and i got it out of her that she was tired of waiting for so long and she wanted  o experience love and he reminded her of meshe still has feelings for me and ive never stopped loving her one bit shes gotten into smoking and she even started drinking once and got intimate with the same guy a little yet i still love her and id take her back right now if she wanted to be mine again i she neglects me on call because shes texting her friends and making plans with them  ever since she left me ive never been this crushed before every single day its so hard to just make it to the next day i try killing myself every night but i cant leave her in this world alone because she told me shed get back with me once i meet her irl im close im gonna get a job in a few days  then again today i asked her and she was doubt full about getting back with me once i make it there im living my whole life with the one single aim of meeting her one day and spending my days with her till they last but everyday she strays farther and farther from me that dude who she cuddled with texted me and warned me he was gonna shoot me dead hes in a gangif i came to mess with him he has feelings for her too the more i ask of her to stop smoking and stop doing bad things the more she gets mad at me but deep inside i know she needs me and i need her because i cant find happiness in anything else at all no matter what i dont smoke or do any wrong things and everyone i know does it its pressuring me to start doing drugs and shit just to fit and seem bad enough for this world i asked her if i could do it but she said i cant becuse im supposed to be the better person and if i start itll only make her do it worse  i feel like im losing her and my will to live as every second passes i dont know what im gonna do,3.0
31785,rt monicabrighton this is the  time in  years that all  branches are republican  caused the great depression  caused the g,2.0
31786,i think its time to finally accept that men arent capable of caring or loving and when they actually pretend to care theyre usually indian and just trying to get nudes,3.0
31787,question about talking to psychiatrist if hypothetically someone has severe depression and is considering suicide and makes this known to their psychiatrist can they be involuntarily committed as they are a danger to themselves is this safe to tell a doctor ,3.0
31788,next obese and pregnant this should be interesting so dangerous ppl r not good to their bodies ,2.0
31789,got more exercise walking to taras today than i have accumulated in the past  weeks its definitely bedtime  lulu tomorrow,0.0
31790,weeeek theres no easy anything  ill be lucky if i graduate   wanna come see me walk the walk lol ill come watch you,2.0
31791,deandri wow cool ,0.0
31792,rt slaytargaryen now we have to tell goats not all men stress ,1.0
31793,what do you do when theres nowhere to go and everyone youve ever reached out to has shoot you down  all i wanted to do was talk and i cant afford to pay fpr a therapist,3.0
31794,robynhumes cant  bro on laptop amp salm on comp me stuck with wii  xx,2.0
31795,haejinee thanks for the joke i forgot about that  u feel better soon i had the flu while preggo w a and remember how it sucked ,2.0
31796,the problem seems to be in the power supply so my precious files are safe just not accessible at the moment  autojoy,2.0
31797,watching the sun rise  it would help if all these bushes werent all in my way,0.0
31798,just baked a rhubarb pie that turned out very well    now to find a man that likes rhubarb pie,0.0
31799,today was such a mess i dont know what to do ,2.0
31800,im almost in love  nice  must be the weather ,0.0
31801,i have a lot on my mind  amp im on a one hour worth of sleep,2.0
31802,stuck in a routine that makes my mornings hell i set my alarm so i have plenty of time to showerdresseat etc but i end up lying in bed till the last minute i need to leave often later ive tried putting my alarm clock far enough away that i have to get up to get it but i slumped back into bed i was pretty okay at getting up at the end of last year but i was probably on time twice in the whole of january one of the first thoughts in my mind most mornings is id rather die than go to work i doubt ill follow though with it any time soon but i consider the various merits of all the places i could hang myself i try to cut the thoughts out imagining stop signs listening to music trying to stay in the present etc however the thought remains strong and its very distracting and demotivating i rapidly become angry and it sets me in a bad way for the rest of the morning im slumping at work a part of me wants to do better but im not picking up the pace i want to snap out of it but i dont seem to be prepared to put the effort in ive been up and down with depression for years medication has not helped most of the counseling sessions ive attended have been useless and the two psychiatrists ive seen were dismissive i have mostly stopped trying to seek aid as despite what the mental health campaigns hark on about help is not there this has gone on for so long and never really got better at this point i dont think its going away this is my baseline and i am a weak and pessimistic person i find it almost impossible to like anything about myself or see anything i have done as good im sitting at work and hour after i could go home staring at a heap of things i should of done and an ethernet cable that could probably take my weight i am not brave enough right now but the thought is never far away these days any responses welcome particularly anything to spur me on or suggestions as to how to do things differently tomorrow morning thank you for reading ,3.0
31803,do you want some coffee or something you look like youre gonna pass out yea thats the depression im good 👌🏻👌🏻,0.0
31804,imma probably die from drugs this year im a full blown drug addict as im  years old and cant stop using meth and i dont think ill ever be able to stop unfortunately ive been to rehab and sober houses and still didnt work as i would rather trade my life for these drugs,3.0
31805,ceearrah omg another one i cant wait to see it ,0.0
31806,ready to make up with my boo    i love his big ego he talk like this cause he can back it up,2.0
31807,just got invited to do the next papernstitch exhibition so excited ,0.0
31808,home from work early ,2.0
31809,im sick of being here if i had it in me id end it all tonight im so sick of giving my all to everyone and everything just to get shit on no one on this earth gives a shit about me and i have no clue why i dont even try my best i do my best to be kind to every single person and all they give me in return is bullshit they tell me im annoying because i dont see life the way they do they tell me i need to conform to their bullshit standards so i can be acceptable to them im pathetic because im able to express my feelings im worthless because im your child and not someone elses i dont feel valuable because ive been constantly told throughout my life that im worthless im ugly im gonna die alone no one will ever love me im the problem im the reason the family is as fucked up as it is i wish i could show everyone i wish i had the strength or the resources to finish this tonight they say that suicide is the easy way out but i think only the strong ones can free themselves from this prison we call life the real cowards are the ones who stick around to be shitted on for eternity fuck life,3.0
31810,is excited for tonights party of ron  httpplurkcompsujth,0.0
31811,the sound on the computer is not working ,2.0
31812,i love the way it feels outside tonight man the quiet idk theres something about today that was so tranquil to me welp goodnight twits ,0.0
31813,zammi hugs  im so sorry anything i can do,2.0
31814,tanyasharon agreed i dont bash a thing yay that sounds fun im at my happy lost place i go to it everyday ,0.0
31815,symphnysldr  i can relate,2.0
31816,havent had good sleep in a weeki want my fluffy pillow ,2.0
31817,oh no i fell asleep and missed guidinglight yesterday ,2.0
31818,on the road going to tennessee im already sleepy ,2.0
31819,tracecyrus give us a photo with him ,0.0
31820,therealtiffany hi tiffany i saw you in sonny with a chance  i think you are awesome ,0.0
31821,sherinegamal you are welcome ,0.0
31822,why are all my childhood friends dying this shit is sad fr,1.0
31823,monkeypenny i totally need yoga but my time is absolutely booked out  its sleep eat write eat write write write ,2.0
31824,enjoying the weather over here so beautiful ,0.0
31825,score  waitress i know snuck me into the iridium jazz club  saved a  cover yay  big tip for sure ,0.0
31826,twitter its hot ,2.0
31827,is not happy her hubby took the kids out in this storm while she works ,2.0
31828,livestream is out ,2.0
31829,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
31830,drinking my cuppa soup ,0.0
31831,talentedtuesday thanks for the talentedtuesday   how have you been,0.0
31832,mattcraig would sure like to be there but im gonna be about third of the earths circumference away ,2.0
31833,ive tried so hard to find my confidence and its just not there im getting so close to ending it all my life isnt terrible im a good looking guy have a  a girlfriend and a family that loves me but none of that matters because i have no confidence and im convinced at this point ill never find it i really cant live this its just too much,3.0
31834,sueyoungmedia did you sing puff the magic dragon in elementary school someone just blipped it after me amp it made me laugh ,0.0
31835,pcook there you go mate  httpwwwquidcocommobilescouk quidco ftw,0.0
31836,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
31837,niroc i missed your quotquot msg  im two hours late ,2.0
31838, going to have such a bad day i love my  i cant believe i backed into someone ,2.0
31839,so my depression has led to major problems with my wife weve been together for almost  years high school sweet hearts married for nearly  ive struggled with depression since i was about  and also alcoholism since i was  shortly after my mom passed away ive also had a hard time holding down jobs since i graduated high school people have always had a tendency of talking garbage on me and my wife has had a bad habit of taking part in this she does not try to stick up for me but doesnt exactly start the conversations eitherthese people seem to come to her and start talking trash and she just nods her head smiles and lets them carry on idk what to say about it really except it creates more problems for me in the long run when i find out from her that these people most of which arewere close friends are bad talking me and even more so knowing she doesnt stand up for me in the eleven years weve been together do you know how many times ive gone to bat for her more then i can countwe have our issues as any other couple my depression complicates it and my drinking makes it worstbut it feels like she goes out of her way to spread our personal business to people who dont really care just to spite me this is our problem if youre gonna spread it to anyone it should be to someone who actually gives a crapam i right or am i just being your typical douche bag thats how ive felt as of lately some of it is my own fault some of it is trash talk from others and my own damn wife i dont know what to do anymore about anything ,3.0
31840,misa campo will you marry me pleasseeee ,0.0
31841, i drank the emergency tea ,2.0
31842,i feel like a bear stocking up food for this battle  lol,0.0
31843,totally wish i was in la right now ,2.0
31844,off to watch flight of the conchords ,0.0
31845,quotif i love you what business is it of yoursquot ,0.0
31846,justmemuri im exhausted   and my bottom feel violated lol,2.0
31847,i want to drop out im lost confused and tired this is my first time post anything online about my problems im sorry if it long but i hope you read and give your point of view sorry for the bad grammer and it might seem jumbled just trying to get years for frustration of my chestim depressed first time ever really saying it ive always known since early high school but i never admitted when asked by anyone especially my mom im currently in college and i hate every fucking second of it but i feel like i have no choice but to go i was never the person that always knew what he want and go after it i dont have a passion in life or anything that that drive me i barely know anything that interests me and the few things that did im restricted to act upon them due to limitation of living in jamaica im currently in bed in the dark staring at nothing feeling lost and tired wanting to just cry to ease the empty tension in my chest my classes start back next week and i cant shake the feeling that im wasting my time and im just not happy with everything i want to drop out but i feel trapped as ive said im from jamaica so there are no jobs plus minimum wage is not an option  i only have my mom paying for college and other bills she works abroad and i know she picks up on that im not happy because she have offered for me to take a year break but i know its hard on her and it feel selfish to say i want to drop out not knowing what im going to do after i feel the only option i have is to suffer through doing something im barely interested in to in a couple year settle for a job that im going to be miserable ini have no friends no life nothing my frequent contact list is my mom i point in my life was primary ever since highly life has spiraling down you can never really know what people are going through because you cant see things through their eyes i know there is probably someone who envies me for what i have but no can never really know because they arent in my skin everyone has a limit and im approaching mine in not suicidal but i want to die kinda not even to die i cant choose because who will take care of my mom im her only childi would expound on my religious beliefs in this but thats another mind fucking indecisive shithole i hate god for the most part i flip him off saying fuck you if you exist but its not to believe in something greater this cant be it the way i rationalize it is if there is no god are we it and my answer would be no were too fucking dumb i understand no matter what there has to be a first so maybe its the universe but create the universe its  unless cycle of questions marks in my life and im tired of it i would continue but im tired and i feel like the whole dont make any sense already,3.0
31848,ok im bored now and my hair is like everywhere  not cool,2.0
31849,sitting at home trying to get over a really sore throat and bad cough ,2.0
31850,sitting right now in front of a school pc actually im supposed to listen but gaming  is more fun ,0.0
31851,slept horrible last night  eye doctor appt this morning then baltimore tonight,2.0
31852,danswartz you told me you would eat them ,2.0
31853,nasef are you in dhaka i think collecting this cd is not so difficult i can manage it thanks for your friendly behavior ,0.0
31854,i feel like im gonna have a heart attack why does depression and anxiety have to go hand in hand my blood pressure is probably so fucking high this past week from the amount of anxiety and sadness i feel my resting heart beat is freaking  beats per minute i tried to get in to see a therapist and the soonest was february  and thats for an hour in a half evaluation my last evaluation was so hard that i started crying when i was asked certain questions i figured im glad i got that over with only to find out i have to take another one thats more intense im so terrified to talk about any of my problems with a complete stranger i dont even know where to begin because its so much stuff i find it the most difficult thing to do i dont even feel comfortable sitting with anyone directly in front of me that i know asking me personal questions so how will i with a stranger im like the shyest person ever i hate that i have social and crippling anxiety but i know i have to get help and just try to face my fears head on then today my doctor told me im not healing from my surgery due to stress which will be my fourth surgery just add more stress to me i swear i can never relax unless im sedated my biggest sadness is that the one thing i prayed for five years to happen never did i have so much fucking sadness and cry when im alone about it because i cannot tell anyone about it really and have to hide it from everyone else how can you move forward when you love someone so much that didnt want to be with you yet you know that the life you had before was not working due to many reasons on top of all of this shit i have to move in less then two months everything is happening so fast not that anyone gives a shit about what im writing nobody will probably even read my shit yet it feels somewhat better to get a little bit off my chest so overwhelmed ugh fml,3.0
31855,robobabe quotwere not allowed to go more than  metres from the fence in case we beat the shit out of pedestrians and stuffquot ,0.0
31856,coachkathleen brrrr chilly amp i dont mean the mexican food here in la not complaining  hica,0.0
31857, uhmm i dont know what youre referring to underwear or the breakup but i guess both of them were that bad  lulz,2.0
31858,i still want to see him ,2.0
31859,anyone want mrnico hes available no takers  hum sorry boo  ,2.0
31860,my small penis is the cause of my severe depression extremely depressing how much my small penis is ruining my life knowing ill never have a sustainable relationship or never have kids is soul crushingim  years old social media is filled with making fun small dicks especially tiktok ive been hiding since  not going out in fear of people finding out thats why i dont go out to parties or nightclubs im very close to hanging myselfno sure if there is a place to discuss these issues,3.0
31861,amandapalmer s live auction haus has started at partyontheinternetcom but there are some technical problems ,2.0
31862,mariqueen i wish i had cable ,2.0
31863,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
31864, miss you  amp carrie  your money in  days with fap tubr forex ,2.0
31865,just added a chatroom to the site check it out and start chatting  httptreeckopwncomchatphp plus i added another ,0.0
31866,if things dont change i may be needing your services rmbohanek the sad thing is im only half kidding ,2.0
31867,god damn the noise inside my head motherfucker why cant i be normalwhy cant i be something worth taking pride inwhy do i have to be alone everywhere i gowhy doesnt anyone want mewhy cant i be beautifulwhy cant i do something that mattersgod fucking damn this damn this life just leave me alone,3.0
31868,missing corey already ,2.0
31869,followfriday   sebmatthews other  tweeters blog sites ,0.0
31870,had the perfect start to her mondaywoke up an hour late and sick ,2.0
31871,is stuck inside doing homework then work  to  ,2.0
31872,just woke up school is a dud  haha see you guys in a bit go swagbucks go httpwwwswagbuckscomreferibuprofen,2.0
31873,rt creaturecharlie ur mcm is cute but in an ugly way and uses memes and irony to hide his burdening depression from everyone its me i,2.0
31874,woah slept for  hours straight theses migraines are becoming a bit of a habit ,2.0
31875,gabeormondd you beat me on chem ,2.0
31876,lauzmur cause i ordered books and aye a wanna read them now  not wednesday ��,2.0
31877,evannovak its been blocked here foreverrrrr along with myspace and twitter ,2.0
31878,rt samsora a new type of anxiety strikes me when im in public on twitter and i accidentally full screen a big tiddy goth waifu,1.0
31879,has anybody said something minor that set you back for me it was a few days ago in class a few classmates were talking about how some girl that dropped out looked better and said that she was happier after leaving our degree one guy said its just fake happiness before the crash shes either lying to herself or to us about feeling better depression doesnt go away that easily i think it was a very mean thing for him to say but it left me thinking about my temporary improvement and whether i was really on a good path or just lying to myself about how small steps add to create progress i realize now that i shouldnt let those thoughts bring me down but it really set me back for a while and i almost didnt leave my room for a week im sure this has happened to some of you how did it happen how did you overcome it,3.0
31880,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
31881,whats up mke whats goin on tonight wish i was at empire tonight ,2.0
31882,sweetaholic well you know i do try ,0.0
31883,breaksdiva i was just trying to make you feel better and say i love you im glad you are cool now ,0.0
31884,trying to make friends at my new job like bc people give me anxiety ,0.0
31885,its better to just have no emotions at all ive been trying really hard to be good mentally and physically lately especially during this quarantine ive been eating really healthy i stopped smoking cigarettes and my drinking is very minimal my depression and anxiety is something that is on my mind everyday and i have moments of spiraling every so often but im usually able to get myself out of it eventually i try to be grateful for the good things i have but they are so rare and the moments so fleeting that i hit a wall last night i just feel like i never catch a true breakso ive just been in that weird space of just random tears coming down my face and i dont really feelanything im numb if that makes any sense its like ive just given up trying to be happy im tired of trying so hard to bring positive energy into my life and the world just constantly slaps me in the face i dont understand what i have done so wrong in my life that i dont deserve happiness i dont think life will ever truly get better for me no matter how much i try and how badly i want it,3.0
31886,duraroc probably worse now  but anyways time to find out,2.0
31887,happy fathers day i miss my dad  ,2.0
31888,today was national cheesecake day and i didnt even have any cheesecake sad,0.0
31889,tooo much work and lots of report gotta finish by today ,2.0
31890,majesticmood thanks last night was a lot of fun pics on facebook  looks like ur night was good too,0.0
31891,i have worked one day just one and im already dreading going back ,2.0
31892,we think my sons friend may have harmed himself i dont know if this is the right subreddit but my sons friend made comments that she may harm herself we called the police will they go to her house will they call the ambulance will they take her to the hospital  my son has questions and i dont have answers for him ty,3.0
31893,has anyone been a recluse and gotten out of it and improved your life if so how did you do it ive slowly gotten into this situation over the last few years where i now barely leave my parents house and have no contact with anyone i know i need to do something but it just seems so hard for me to do to someone looking from the outside this might seem like an easy thing to fix but to me it seems like a massive task and i have no idea where to start i am seeing a therapist so i know about that but id like to hear the experiences of someone else in this situation who has gotten out of it ,3.0
31894,cant wait for jardindeparis to get home ,0.0
31895,i pwned esemdi at cs  now its time to finish my remix,0.0
31896,got a doctors app today  hope i dont hav to get a shot errr,2.0
31897,jonprice good ole suzan ,0.0
31898, lance broadway,2.0
31899,lastfmtoo hot to handle in the bad way ,2.0
31900,not knowing how to answer the question whats wrong does anybody relate to this recently ive been feeling so down almost all the time it feels like waves of sadness just keep hitting me but on the surface nothing has happened nothing has changed recently its just a lot of long term issues that i have that are weighing on me and propping up in my head more than usual im lucky to have a friend that i can confide in when i start feeling like this but recently ive been really hesitant to call her because i know that question is coming and i have no idea what ill tell her does anyone relate to this or have any idea what i should do,3.0
31901,arent you glad you grew up in the early  a time of real friendship without distraction when you would play outside and use your imagination till dark youth was such a beautiful thing back then it wasnt poisoned by the pressures social media projects today it was such a wholesome time for us now life feels so superficial isolated and fast paced social mediatechnology has sucked the life out of authenticity and meaningful connection the more social media apps we download the lonelier we feel we have everything at our finger tips now to connect yet why do we still feel so alone and depressed the world has drastically changed and i dont know if its for the better,3.0
31902,tremmmy thats awesome good luck w everything ,0.0
31903,my back is killing me  it wont keep me from dropping it lowhope i got someone to pick it back up tho lol,2.0
31904,sunshined good morning  lol,0.0
31905,jennysunphoto i would be free on wed ,0.0
31906,winchesterx buffy  enough said  myweakness,0.0
31907,quotbut my mind was everywhere i wanna know youquot  hannah montana ,0.0
31908,kimodified congratulations thats awesome ,0.0
31909,no reason to live most of the days before i sleep i wish to not wake up again  do you remember agent smith in the matrix last part and fight between then when he was asking him why you keep fighting why why for truth for love for peace i dont have anything to fight for or reason to live what should i do  and dont say find reason ,3.0
31910,dont make it part of bc because our mental health funding has been cut and everythings so expensive just make a new province,1.0
31911,kimkardashian �cont inspiration to me ,0.0
31912,bought new sunglasses they are flyesque but i love them  on the way to no doubt ,0.0
31913,deb was awesome on the weekend ,0.0
31914,idkmybfferin  guess what if i had the link id show you but i was watching a vid jackson made for mtv at the end he showed his kitty,2.0
31915,hanging with some great people on the way to seeing the best dj in shep ,0.0
31916,getting ready to go to lucycgs house ,0.0
31917,jonasbrothers yay im going to get it at midnight ,0.0
31918,i dont know whats happening to me im not even sure if i have depression im sorry if this isnt the right subreddit for this but at the moment im too tired to really care im too tired to even type this but ill try my best for the last few days ive felt tired down ive stopped enjoying my most favorite hobbies i have sessions of crying for no reason and i have this uncomfortable weight on my chest some times in the days i have moments of feeling nothingness not sad or happy just nothing where i do things i normally do but its like im on autopilot its like my facial muscles are secured and when i try to move them it just feels wrong and my mind would be empty of thoughts i dont know whats happening to me and i just wish someone would just tell me straight how i am other times i feel normal i genuinely smile and laugh but the feeling just creeps back in months ago i had days where i felt the same waythough i feel as though now is more amped up i dont know the word and i went to my father for counseling and told him everything i immediately felt better and telling him really made me better and for many months i functioned perfectly well until for some reason it crept back today i have an amazing life and amazing people around me why am i like this theres no reason for me to feel this waysorry if this was too long,3.0
31919, friday was kateampjons  year anniversary but they spent it apart lmao ,2.0
31920,cherrim wow gurl ,2.0
31921,morning twits just arrived at work not really feeling this monday ,2.0
31922,moneymellono thats not a bad thing at allyou used to be my bff til you didnt wanna be my friend anymore ,2.0
31923,  thats awesome ,0.0
31924,off to double englishbut first coffee my teeth itch ,2.0
31925,find this button on my youtube and click it     then watch all my videos like  times apiece and give them  ,0.0
31926,homedesigning wow thanks for the free ebook i didnt know there was a giveaway just liked what you guys were posting ,0.0
31927,if anyone wants to volunteer with me in okehampton  june   classic car rally please send me a dmthanks ,0.0
31928,poorly treating my body and mind helps alot recently i feel like the only thing that helps breaking my dysthimic phase is to put myself in « danger » like chaining hangovers not sleeping or taking drugs my body put itself in kind of a survival mode and i feel maniac dissociated and i actually feel emotions deeply i love it thing is i cant keep doing that as i will most likely die but it is really the only thing thats ever helped anybody experienced similar situation ,3.0
31929,im going to write my suicide note im writing my final suicide note and im giving it to my counsellor tomorrow ill be gone by the evening if all is well ,3.0
31930,microsoft announces its intention to cease development and marketing of microsoft money  fail ,2.0
31931,rt ricahcas imagine this your depression kicks in in the middle of the day while having fun with your pals  anxiety follows hands are,2.0
31932,people always forget about mt my friends abandon me it keeps happening i dont feel like going into detail im just feeling extremely lonely and unwanted i just want to talk,3.0
31933,akirehsiri ow fck  effin k shet  was gonna ask sana wat hppened pero kwento mo nlng nxt time we meet shet so sorry to hear this,2.0
31934,jammiewf someone freaking out about this is prone to panic attacks and anxiety no way,2.0
31935,mrrichyungsta thanks  plus im still young only  lol,0.0
31936,oliviamunn really good show enjoyed listening in  wish i had something to call in about haha,0.0
31937,working hard eating well sleeping well and treating everyone with loving kindness ,0.0
31938,i bought the mach   ,0.0
31939,today its mothers day  congratulations mum ,0.0
31940,an interesting title about depression hey so ive tried looking on the internet but i more so need a community of people to read over my situation to not generalizei can get up out of bed and go to work and sometimes even go outside i am in school however my grades have fallen and i am no longer finding passion in any of my work and even if i do i ignore deadlines out of fear of failure or simple laziness if you feel like and thus fail my classes all in all sadness persists but so does my life i still work and shower most days yet i think of suicide and while i have never attempted it setting a date is close enoughtldr a simple question can i be hospitalized if medication or exercise havent worked with semiregular therapy,3.0
31941,welp going to sleep long day tomorrow its been fun amp im exahusted phew lol i need a twitter break goodnight ,0.0
31942,my internet is being a total bitch so i cant tweet my boring life  replies soon ,2.0
31943,cmygeek aww that sucksim sry ,2.0
31944,rt mercola here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs ,1.0
31945,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
31946, whew thassa relief ,0.0
31947,at starbucks then going shopping ,0.0
31948,ok im going to bed not looking forward to tommow cause i work  btw wtf is up with the dude drama grrrrr it makes me upset gnite,2.0
31949,why is it so socially unacceptable to not want to celebrate your birthday im sorry in advance if this comes off as entitled and spoiled i am quite spoiled one of the reasons why i dont understand anything i do not deserve this lifemy birthday is in less than a week and my parents and friends have been asking for the past weeks what im planning and i just say nothing because i dont want to celebrate it it makes me so fucking sad that ill already be  and im still not dead yet nor achieved anything at all i never will nevertheless my friends and especially my parents dont understand that i just want to stay home and i dont needwant any gifts  i just want to be left alone i dont see what i add to social events anyway and i dont understand why people dont even try to understand thatdoes anyone have any good tips on explaining this desire to stay home and take it easy or excuses to not have to go places id like to quickly settle it with everyone in a respectful manner i dont want them to get mad or irritated since ill be scared i will be so as well,3.0
31950,lifeless and sad so i just joined this sub because i need helpim so sad all the time im very lonely and have almost no will to live i used to have a best friend but unfortunately he passed away in may  he managed to keep me somewhat stable over the years but now i have absolutely no onemy mum tells me to make friends but i also dont really like people and i dont want to socialize at alli dont mind being alone in fact id rather be by myself than with peoplei dont know what to do ,3.0
31951,silentinfinite wow now thats what you call bright it looks good ,0.0
31952,i bought her a one way plane ticket so she could be closer to her friends and family ive had a tough month i bough a new car and got into a pretty bad accident while fainting behind the wheel my girlfriend of almost a year told me yesterday that she wasnt happy where she was in her life and said she needed a change her best friend offered to house her across the united states and i bought her plane ticket yesterday she leaves in  days and she still wants to maintain the relationship until then yesterday we spent the whole day just cuddling kissing crying and having sex it was nice but it hurt knowing that these days are limited i need help my feelings and the waves of depression are affecting me at work and with my son son is not hers,3.0
31953,how do i into h o b b i e s i get told i should have some hobbies to distract myself from the depression i guess or get some satisfaction from doing something but how do you do that really everything is boring i have a guitar i bought like ten years ago when i was a teenager but ive always hated practicing so i never got very good now its been years since i really played for more than ten minutes and even when i forced myself to play regularly i still only lasted like half an hour tops before getting soooo bored and discouraged its weird because i really like music even the theory and shit like that i even used to write a little a long time ago despite this lifelong depression i dont know what im asking i guess how do you get hobbies how do you enjoy doing things i just lie in bed and listen to music and watch tv sometimes i play games but even that bores me a lot these days i used to really like them a lot but now its just a familiar distraction i have so many games installed that ive never even felt like playing once i like chess but it stresses me out with anxiety especially playing a human opponent and playing against the computer is just stressful and boring at the same time i need something with people im so lonely its like i dont know where to begin or i do i could try to find local organizations or something or make a facebook for once in my life im just so scared of people and letting people know me part of it is all these years of depression and anxiety and alcoholism for a while where i feel like i have nothing to be proud of when people ask about who i am and what i do if i just had some hobbies i could talk about that and then i wouldnt feel so ashamed i think my only real hobby besides fallout  is playing hackey sack alone im pretty good at it because ive been doing it forever if you can call that a hobbythanks for reading if anybody does ,3.0
31954,i got to hold my son this morning for the first time he slept on my chest for about an hour a truly amazing experience ,0.0
31955,billymcflurry im watchn george lopez ,0.0
31956, cant afford to see angels and demons so i watched it for free httptrimlvbu,2.0
31957,rockstaraaron hey arron  at least you are on the beach wish i was there ,0.0
31958,martinxo better than living with him ,0.0
31959,really should go wash up ,2.0
31960,polythenepam aww that is sad almost  yrswhy am i not surprised though ,2.0
31961,kidturbo  its not really a bad thing i just dont want to leave the house everything i need is already here,0.0
31962,gaw im so sad,2.0
31963,i dont like it when family decides to spend the weekend at my house  grrrr,2.0
31964,minkus gone to korea for  month now  x,2.0
31965,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
31966,i ate too many carrots ,2.0
31967,jemmamb im seeing them on tuesday in croydon  cant wait did you go to hammersmith write back ,0.0
31968,helenleathers i have been i have been fighting them off today a little weary from it all ,0.0
31969,vermontviking good to hear from you again dear viking i agree no one will ever do it better than jack he knows how to live ,0.0
31970, the weather is totally gloomsday here in good ol dmi,2.0
31971,funkcaroline i thought you were only going to like  concerts this summer ,0.0
31972,oh noooooo i just found out that after only  seasons one of my favorite shows ever king of the hill got canceled   sniff,2.0
31973,i just walked a mile and a half with  pounds of groceries i got with food stamps and im  yo all the cars looking at my dumb ass this age and no car because im a fucking loser that made too many bad decisions no girlfriend havent kissed a female in almost exactly  years now the only good thing about my life right now is that my parents have a good amount of money but thats them thats theirs it doesnt really benefit me and it probably never will till they die im so stressed about a  cc bill in  days ive got  i tried selling some old sunglasses on ebay and they didnt even sell for  im doing online surveys and stuff my last recourse is calling the cc company and asking for some loophole extension sorry just rambling the loneliness kills me and i have nothing ,3.0
31974,online again am in scandinavian wilderness got a dongle modem for a week with  gig of traffic for £ edge speed only though ,2.0
31975,i just might get a learners license today ,0.0
31976,  casey amp i are doing the happy dance in toulouse upon hearing the happy news  mazel tov ,0.0
31977,paulglavin omg you actually bought that hehehe and even funnier you got a wii hehehe  me to ,2.0
31978,drinking my fijiwater right now  the minerals in it help with sore muscles ,0.0
31979,tayluvsbroadway it was a lot of funjust sad to say goodbye to her ,2.0
31980,wolfgang  fell short of my own target   ,2.0
31981,gooo queensland   just finished homework,0.0
31982,susankoh you mean a twitter who is a friendster too ,0.0
31983,trigger warning is it possible to fatally overdose from xanax i apologize if this isnt appropriate please remove if its not allowed,3.0
31984,sick old crunk to house im satisfied   ,0.0
31985,so i have my new phone now i just have no contacts in it  hopefully can get that done tonight,2.0
31986,how come i only have  followers last night it was   everybody wants to watch transformers  even me,2.0
31987, maybe juss a lil bit ,2.0
31988,i hate most of the people i work with is it in my head i dont trust my own mind as i have been feeling anxious at my work place the whole time my colleagues are all from a certain nationality while i am the only one from a certain country i come from a very traditional culture but i am openminded and liberal that being said i have always felt like an outsider in my work place specially among the women which was shocking to me when i first worked there the gang culture in the office is strong they come to work together eat lunch together finish work then hang out together being from a traditional family i cannot be part of this constant social life of theirs and even i was not from a traditional family i would not want to hang out with my colleagues  it seems crazy to me anyway what pisses me off is their behavior in the office towards me sometimes i feel like i am exaggerating but sometimes i feel like nope that is definitely a mean act  i hate that fake cold smile i hate the hidden sarcastic tones behind the really aha when i talk also i love one on one conversations and i hate group stuff so i used to like to have small conversations only about films my field of work tv shows and songs there are specific people that i talk to about these things but those people became part of the gang and when i start talking to one of them the girls would give me looks and every single convo has be cut off by that certain girl i am a person who gets affected by energy if the vibes in the office is off i cannot sit there this is how i feel i was a loner a happy loner but then people started talking and my manager told me to be more social so i tried do i have to go out to dinners for me to have a normal small talk in the office this behavior affects my work too if i ask for a favor it takes ages for them to do it but when a gang member asks it takes seconds did i leave high school for another high school did i mention that they are at least ten years older did i mention that the girls my age are the meanest to me did i mention that i feel like i loose a piece of me and my dignity when i try to be friendly with a girl that i know for sure she dislikes me i do not know what to do ,3.0
31989,heatxcl have fun ,0.0
31990,misterro jam doughnuts how i miss them ,2.0
31991,just drained my frequent flyer miles ,2.0
31992,im in clear lake ,2.0
31993,oxlaurajanexo i cannae spell headache send me back to reception i wish someone would run up and give me a big hug  garys cold,2.0
31994,back in hollandia missing moraira ,2.0
31995,doctorow scott pilgrim is great i devoured them all about a month ago and then realised that i have to wait months for the final one ,2.0
31996,mindless act is always useless ,2.0
31997,music yow  ,0.0
31998, we all miss u ,2.0
31999,yes not going to my cousins party i love my dad he knows i hate it sooo muchso he said we wont go ,0.0
32000,i want to break i dont want to be functional anymore i want to stop caring about my career i want to stop caring about what other people think about me i want to be able to cry in the streets i want to be able to scream to the world that im a broken personi want to be suicidal so that people care about me i want to go to a hospital where my only goal is to stop being suicidal i want to have a therapist who actually believes im depressed instead of assuming that because i have a good job im just going through a phase i want to make friends with other depressed peoplei read articles like im so happy i didnt kill myself or i almost pulled the trigger thank god i didnt and theres always an outpouring of support there are plenty of suicide hotlines when youre suicidal people suddenly care about you nobody gives a fuck if youre depressedmaybe things need to get worse before they get better,3.0
32001,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
32002,math homeworkugh  ,2.0
32003,summeralyssa why u upset i miss you girl havent seen u in like  days but it feels like forever  ahaha im so weird,2.0
32004,cheguei tarde no twitter hoje ,2.0
32005,followfriday  go follow jstudios you might just get to be her  follower ,0.0
32006,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
32007,lmao definitely a k special wrong jack ahem happy birthday to lus old buddy jack in new york ,0.0
32008,well well well crafted an extension to a desk about  mtrs long and fitted a new side panel to a kitchen unit dug out half the garden ,0.0
32009,andthesewalls soz to hear flat fell through  hope all picks up soon xx,2.0
32010,anyone got any tips for flying anxiety flying out tomorrow 👀,2.0
32011,this post is about something that we all deal with at some point or another anxiety anxiety is a completely ,1.0
32012,have a great day everyone  ,0.0
32013,tommcfly has your ipod ever frozen up on you in the middle of a song mine has and i was listening to you and it made sad  xxx,2.0
32014,the party is over and now i must do more homework ,2.0
32015,dreaming dreaming dreaming as always but im note the only one haha ,0.0
32016,call me komodo dragon or kd for short ,0.0
32017,gonna mandi and go to a photo shop cant wait till my photos are in the new frames ,0.0
32018,jonas brothers is freakin awesome ,0.0
32019,watching first  until houston ,0.0
32020,jeffeishred  rwarr hahahahah wow quotoh please with us its never rapequot d i love you ,0.0
32021,rt duaaayy  hamayil waseembadami mai khud seedhe hone ki khoshish krti hoon depression hone nahi deti but i ,2.0
32022,ljmhale star trek was the best film i have seen in a long time and they didnt destroy the story or anything ,0.0
32023,won two games of pool on the best table ever lost twice aswell ,2.0
32024,my bf just hurt my feelings ,2.0
32025,good morning twitterville  its the first day of summer what are you all planning to do today in this glorious sunshine ,0.0
32026,going to meet sam and go into town for some shopping and cocktails  and the sun is shining,0.0
32027,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
32028,khloekardashian when are u moving  miami im asking cause im going  la sometime in july amp i really wanted  meet u i think ur awesome ,0.0
32029,no matter what even if im right my anxiety will always tell me that i am wrong i will always find a way to blame myself,1.0
32030,gettin ready  watch disaster movie yay lol skool  morrow  bleh lol,2.0
32031,wowim a bad tweeter   on vacation sleeping in lounging doing my nails being as noncommital as possible  lifes good,0.0
32032,joeyblonsky joey so happy youre on twitter ps this is kayla g ,0.0
32033,cobb saladyummy i guess i really wanted spinach and bacon salad ,2.0
32034,debbielynnava im gonna be there   im not a va yet but aspiringand you women are all so knowledgeable and helpful,0.0
32035,lboi i cried when mine started but it was worse when my youngest started because the house was then empy ,2.0
32036,ladywinnie   you guys  what a great way to start today  sun shining  coffee  good people  oh and broken powerbook ,2.0
32037,updating my followers  need to stop following those that arent following me    looking for those that want to share,2.0
32038,emflip we need tweetbook everyone is on facebook and no one will read my twitters ,0.0
32039,my cousin is a major dork she keeps texting me about how orgasmic twilight is amp how she cnt put down the book  ahah,0.0
32040,heffasaurus ok and if i hear a phone ringing while youre busy you can be sure id offer to answer it for you ,0.0
32041,marcome waynemansfield markclayson stevegarufi jorgebessa aaronstewart dominicscott jvvillage stejules waoliver more to ff ,0.0
32042,ecomomma lol i know the feeling were having bouts of rain amp heat whigh humidity in between our relayers got rained out last nite ,2.0
32043,dropped his piece of chicken on da floor ,2.0
32044,nicksleep im proud of you haha ,0.0
32045,i ate too much toast and now im sick ,2.0
32046,thank you for your greetings for pancake she had personalized balloons and cake and doggie lootbags but one dog guest was a war freak ,2.0
32047,therealjordin totes know how you feel it sucks ,2.0
32048,why dont my fucking friends ever ask if im okay they know im depressed as shit and have trust issues since a year ago and they know i feel like shit all the fucking time yet theyve never asked if im okay and i dont even know if i can consider them my friends anymore or rather best friends as i call them just because theyre the only irl friends i have at this point all they fucking do is talk and call and play games without me and plan to hangout with me and im always last for everything i wouldnt have been so fucked up if one of them one day just asked if i was okay and gave me a hug but no they dont do that shit because im homosexual so because of that apparently no support or fucking comfort which theyve said nah youre gay i dont even know what im doing anymore or why im wasting time writing this like itll change my fucking self hatred and anxiety and stress and depression and my shitty friends fuck life,3.0
32049,ainajaharah aw   well thats no fun at all,2.0
32050,rt sehunsknees ill be sure to be sad in front of you all the time then ,1.0
32051,here and it has made me strangely upset also  accidentally slept until  and the weather is rubbish  chocolate  nice meal tonight,2.0
32052,i wish i were dead i feel like i would much rather die than have to deal with anything when it comes to daily life im not suicidal but if i were in a situation where i could instantly die and not hurt anyone then that would be great,3.0
32053,broke the news to the mother no blues shopping cant cure  ,2.0
32054,hard to get out im having a very hard time with consistency in the gym i am diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder general anxiety disorder and chronic depression i know exercise is something that makes me feel better as it does for a multitude of others who struggle with similar things its been difficult to remain consistent because of these things as some days its near impossible to get out of bed and others i just feel weak cause of my issues does anyone have any pro tips to fighting this the gym is one place where i can work out a lot of my issues freely anyone with any advice,3.0
32055, lets chill ,0.0
32056, aww you are a good friend  ,0.0
32057,i dont feel like im a real person i dont feel real everything just seems too absurd to be real so i feel like im not real i cant feel much but then i can feel lots i feel like someone else is controlling me and my emotions i dont feel anything so i dont feel hungry and i dont eat for days but then i get really sick so i have to force myself to eat i dont know what im doing im waiting for summer to end so i can go to university and become real againi need to feel something the only feelings i feel are negative ones and even those are rare,3.0
32058,rt blingspice lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
32059,donzzz geography interesting maybe i will one day ,0.0
32060,just woke up not good ,2.0
32061,yeah just  came from church p but i gt a donut   goin to the store soon lol,0.0
32062,legalcookie well only if you have the new one which you do i still have the old crappy one  fml,2.0
32063,so very very sad about jon amp kate ,2.0
32064,the post subway blues ive had a bunch of transitions in my life and i just cant seem to get it together i left my bf who lost interest in me in july started going back to school again in august started a new job in september i guess things are supposedly doing well a lot more people are doing worse but here i am sitting in my car after getting off the subway i take downtown for work crying this is becoming a regular thingi feel so anxious and trapped but i can never seem to find a moment to recover so i take ten minutes every day to sit in my car after the subway and cry wveryone thinks im this happy and funny and outgoing person but honestly i just wish i was dead and i dont even know why ,3.0
32065,rnrsteve thanks for the props   ,0.0
32066,what a fucking mess ive made of my life i dont know what to do anymore i dont even care i can feel my own sanity slipping away through my fingers like sand and i just watch it slip away ,3.0
32067,on another note im fuckin done helllllo summer ,0.0
32068,happy moms day to everyone ,0.0
32069,my iphone cherry has just been popped now i can live time keep yall updated on stuff and stay in better contact ,0.0
32070,thisisrobthomas cant enter as its only for us residents ,2.0
32071,sheselectric  i feel like ive been away for ages  just a couple more days of madness tho how u been doll xxxx,2.0
32072,goodnight twitter whores ,0.0
32073,no exciting news durring press conf today ,2.0
32074,mdmolinari lover why have you disappeared from my life ,2.0
32075,cyjahmm janie i heard jerry got in trouble  he wouldnt write people up and threw a fit when they tried to send his people home,2.0
32076,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
32077,i have not rite to be jealous but paranoia mixed with past experience throw in the fact that idve loved tove been there ,2.0
32078,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
32079,wondering how to fix his laptops loos of sound ,2.0
32080,etis i would love to if i did not have to work ,2.0
32081,all this requires one to get ready first ,0.0
32082,go norway good songs can win industrialized fiests like eurovision after all ,0.0
32083,i can already tell today is gonna be a bad day ,2.0
32084,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
32085,first post from twitterrific app on my imac what a brilliant app  tomorrow back to adam to get my pillow,0.0
32086,was going to post to blog amp upload new premade designs but appears hosting is down  hmmm guess i will change t httpbitlyxdikb,2.0
32087,starjonesesq you can do it keep the faith ,0.0
32088,i told them that i couldnt trust people and i was told that im high maintenance  ago i moved to a new city thinking it was take me away from the shit i was dealing with in my hometown with my family  i already had a sibling in my current city and thought it would be easier for me to cope as i always used to talk things with her but to my absolute horror this city was everything i wouldnt hope it would be  i have zero friends here i constantly feel lonely and want to die i told her that i feel like i may have severe social anxiety and have trouble trusting people enough to establish any social relationship she replies with what do people need to do to gain your trust and why have you set your standards so high you only get what you deservei would love to have friends here i tried too  but just couldnt do it ps  no one might read this but i really hope someone does sorry if my english is bad,3.0
32089,rdbones frinightfever loving your quickness  this is so fun,0.0
32090,lit classroom was  today  for fahrenheit folk we had no fan it was  outside amp there was breeze not gonna make it til the  ,2.0
32091,joelmadden when is cardiology coming out ,0.0
32092, i love the phrase quotass meatquot nicely put ,0.0
32093,i am sooooo tired and no time for a nap   linda,2.0
32094, oh man  okayyyyyyy im going out tonight and i was secretly hoping you were already home haha,2.0
32095,expertimage good morning my friend ,0.0
32096,how are you coping these days how are yall doing any tips or tricks for dealing with depression in selfisolation,3.0
32097,making appointments over the phone,1.0
32098,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
32099,the chili was the best ive ever made because i put a little love into it  ,0.0
32100,playing guitar and waiting impatiently for monday ugh i work today ,2.0
32101,i went to the beach today to relax yet i got even more depressed i felt like shit in my bikini while watching some gorgeous girls in theirs as a southeast asian woman i feel like im stockypudgyfat and this doesnt help with my selfesteem at all this is often the root of my episodes lately cause i couldnt help but feel ugly and fat all the time,3.0
32102,good morning   im ill gtlt,0.0
32103,i always expect the worst is this a bad way to be so ive found that lower my expectations and hope for relationships like makes it not hurt me as bad when they fall apart whenever i make plans with someone im just like cool cant wait but in the back of my head im like oh they are gonna not show or cancel does this say something about me as a person like idk if its low self esteem but i just dont think the guy i like would actuallylike me but why do i hate myself sm,3.0
32104,fpinternational i totally went and watched wolverine was good ,0.0
32105,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
32106,has new ipod headphones ,0.0
32107,starrshinerhttp thank u ,0.0
32108,morning fam lets practice the law of love today and implement it into our everyday lives to love is to receive a glimpse of heaven ,0.0
32109,slitwin good luck with thatha ha ,0.0
32110,pixiefae  no cute gurleh to talk to least i have my chicken burger with caulslaw now,2.0
32111,photographymom i was just gonna text you but i forgot   kiss the puppeh for me,2.0
32112,bdykema we turned ours on last night too ,2.0
32113,u see my picture kelley me is the one to your left i repeatto your left  the person in pink ,0.0
32114,feeling completely alone anytime i have to experience conflict i cant handle it i want to call someone up and talk about and i have no one to call im a shitty person a shitty girlfriend a shitty daughter a shitty friend why am i still around i cant stop crying and i cant get rid of this helpless feeling what is the point of anything ,3.0
32115,lvadgal sigh offense is hot then cold then hot at least were  this month  and the risp numbers are improving still hate the lob,0.0
32116,sunday is really dragging  no beach due to poor weather ,2.0
32117,slept way too long its  in the afternoon and i still feel like i just woke up well actually i did just wake up ,0.0
32118,mileycyrus hey miley my sister turned  and is looking for a purity ring like yours whered you get it please and thank you ,0.0
32119,barely functioning today its been a really long time since ive had a day when im just unable to do things but today is one of those days im eating eggs on toast for dinner and its the only meal ive had the whole dayi did go to one class but that sucked all the energy out of me and now im just tired and cold and dirty and hungrymy friends are hanging out tonight i wish i couldve gone i wish i wasnt like thisive recently started thinking again that i really wouldnt mind if a car hit me while i was crossing the street thatd be fine i kinda want to hurt myself and i kinda already do whenever im at class i keep tearing at my cuticles and pushing my nails into my skinim on a bit of a downward spiral right now sorry,3.0
32120,cant do anything without being a burden cant breathe without feeling like im wasting air cant talk to someone without feeling like im wasting their time cant eat without feeling like im wasting food cant sleep without feeling like a waste of space cant do anything without feeling useless and stupid it fucking hurts because i know im a burden to everyone i know and i dont know what to do ,3.0
32121,i want to smash someones face in i find im more frustrated than depressed i hate being stuck like this and it makes me want to beat the fuck out of someone no matter how much i work out and eat healthy and do what i have to i feel my mentality is cursed to always be depressed,3.0
32122,so my parents decided to change their flights to dr for tomorrowso last minutebut im not complainingfree crib for me ,0.0
32123,rachelhenslee we just planned it monday  we wanted to go twice this spring   cant wait to go with you guys,2.0
32124,about to get my study on for the next  hrs straight ,0.0
32125,so distracted i cant focus on english ,0.0
32126,rynabon ahahaha kaka you have one too  yay you got hired at petco ,0.0
32127,my kid is a walking pharmacy poor thing  inhalers plus some pills and  liquids ,2.0
32128,using ipod to cheat trivial persuit ,0.0
32129,skipping my last class im really sleepy didnt sleep too well last night ,2.0
32130,dont know how to do the chinese compo ,2.0
32131,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
32132,it just turned around so quickly i dont know what happened last night i was out having dinner and drinks for my sisters birthday and having a fun time then i got home and something else set ini banged my elbow so hard on the bathroom vanity by accident and it still hurtsim worried its serious i tried to work lyft but i couldnt stand being out and chauffeuring people around to their meaningless saturday night plans i wanted to smoke and listen to music but im out of weed and its just another subtle reminder how i dont have enough friends around to keep me feeling filled up and satisfied now im laying in bed in the afternoon on a gorgeous day and all i want is to sleep and bail on the potential plans for laterim so tired of feeling this pain at the drop of a hat i dont deserve to have all my positive life momentum scrapped every  weeks month whatever by something i have no control over and can hardly even describe im terrified at the carelessness ive displayed thats led to my losing friends and last gf and how getting older isnt making it any easier to replace the voids that they leave its nice to be able to recognize where ive improved and notice within myself when my brain turns on me like this before too long but im powerless to stop ittell me if you can relate,3.0
32133,plenty of room on flight  india got a row all  myself continental wont let me move up  bus cls ahead of me totally open  ,2.0
32134,a rant every day feels lonely even though im around friends at school and it doesnt help that im not talkative and that i need hearing aids to help with my hearing loss even after school im not productive i procrastinate a lot and dont hang out with friends i feel like my lifes just been a failure i dont know how to cook drive swim talk to people and a lot more sometimes it feels pointless just carrying on like this i dont find joy in a lot of things anymore if i did at all even video games are becoming boring to me so my even procrastination doesnt even feel fun or productive i dont even have a job and my last semester of high school is really easy too so its not like i dont have the time to do get a job im just anxious and scared or lazy i dont know im contemplating getting help and ive sought help before with the school guidance counselor and they got me with a social worker until the social worker forgot about me i might ask my mom again at least she understands but im only worried shell get me a religious counselor rather than a legit counselor or therapist my dad just makes me nervous and anxious hes always asking me about school he sets high expectations for me and i always feel that hes judging me on everything so ive been worried about asking him because he just intimidates me and he doesnt seem approachable when it comes to mental health i dont know i know i need help its just im afraid and uncertain anyway if you made it this far thanks for reading ,3.0
32135,continue working on the press coverage some people love my idea some people hate it but noone ignore thats cool ,0.0
32136,gadbaby id love to see your ads on noggin  id even watch noggin just to see your ad ,0.0
32137,that was meant to say onehornyunicorn just attacked me with her swivel chairbut we were trying to see who could do it first she won ,2.0
32138,gtsw eat sleep nua play  of coz song but back to reality tml ,2.0
32139,ahhhhhhh its so early ,2.0
32140,i miss my computer ,2.0
32141,dzemil hey thanks for shout out its actuallly june  ,0.0
32142, times  photographs expose sri lanka�s lie on civilian deaths at beach ,2.0
32143,im over it  in el monte ca httplooptustglotqt,2.0
32144,my cousin tells me that quotyou dont have a life besides internetquot i just dont know how far its true ,2.0
32145,this is so sad alexa play despacito ,2.0
32146,just watched mtv movie awards ,0.0
32147,and off he goes in an angry haste ,2.0
32148,good eveningim so tired and now  i go to bed   byebye bon nuit ,0.0
32149,off to niagara falls to attend quotin memory of tori stafford dayquot  ,2.0
32150,sophieboylan i heard itss a load of bollocks like ,2.0
32151,yay surfin bird thank god for seth macfarlane ,0.0
32152,i just woke up from a stupid nightmare now i cant go back to sleep i havent had one in a very long time its only  ,2.0
32153,pity ill have to remove it because its irrelevant ,2.0
32154,jonathanrknight vegas or phoenix show ,2.0
32155,gonna switch computers and finish and print off english speech  then snuggle up in bed and watch supernatural  xoxox night,0.0
32156,oh she got to the snappy stage  if it werent for that cop shed be melllllooooowwwww xd,2.0
32157,has anyone started prozac only to have it stop working so ive been on prozac for at least  months now and it seemed to be working for a while im not sure if it was just placebo effect or what but recently ive been feeling back to how i was before just so tired all the time no motivation the works im on  right now which i think is the highest my doctor is willing to give me right now but i was accidentally taking  for a few weeks because she made a mistake on the scripthank you for any help,3.0
32158,hit bebe banana republic loehmanns amp container store in oak brook getting ready for my trip ,0.0
32159,pilgrimfamilyuk hey chick ,0.0
32160,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
32161,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
32162,a vent about my depression im screaming iti stand in front of everyone i scream with my eyesi am not okaymy identity personality stripped awaysadness overtakes every feeling of mei once was beautifulmy mind once quietmind floods with thoughts it wont ever silenceevery thought is poison friendships family all brokenpieces i cant put back together empty space between usdo you hear medo you listen when my heart hurtswhy do you wait for meyoure too slow you cant keep upyoure killing yourselfim not worth itplease run i pain youi hurt everyoneits dark without youyou need to go when its overi feel freethen i am the one to fall again it takes me backthe cycle that never endsit staysno one stays by my side except for youyou are always thereyou make sure i stay inin the darknessyou consume my lifeyou take all the time away from meyou ruin meyou strip me deadi hate you,3.0
32163,ive been ganged up on bc jealous sad dick bitches cant accept the fact that i have big dick energy 😤,1.0
32164,i just need to be alright with being me even if that means not being alright i always feel like i fucked up so bad for loving and caring as much as i do that i give all of my heart to the things i do and the interactions i have and its this really bad thing like its this big secret i hold in and i just want to tell people about it cause it makes me feel so fulllike all this love i hold makes me absolutely miserable but at the same time it makes me more myself theres this sadness in there that just wont go but my heart is so big because of it its a nausea in my heart and ill live with it because i have to i just need a break sometimes you knowmy therapist thinks im doing extraordinarily well given the things that happened to me i have a wife and a kid that love me so much and i cant even explain how much i love them id sit with them all night and tell them how i loved them and how much they matter and how i chose them,3.0
32165,i love my new nephew   oh another a really that simple ,0.0
32166,realhatter so ill probably miss you during the days unless i stay home for any reason ,2.0
32167,its super hot outside i miss michigan ,2.0
32168,im not a likable person i must be one of the most unlikable people out there to be such a low priority to my friends  today i was supposed to meet a friend for coffee after about  or  reschedules we finally agreed to do it today  she even her put it in her phone calendar to no surprise i showed up at our planned time and ended up drinking my coffee alone after about  minutes i realize she blew me off so i went home i got a call from her a little later with a bs excuse not even an apology lmao it sucks to realize you truly have no one that can spend  minutes of their day with you i mean seriously who cant make time to walk down the street and grab coffee with someone for  minutes the fact im not even worth that to someone i considered one of my good friends really fucking hurts i am truly alone ,3.0
32169,depression temporary relief and helping others going through a hard time hi everyone i hope you are all doing oktoday i had a realisation on something i need to be aware of as someone going through a tough time and also for when i comfort others who are also in a dark place i wanted to share what i thought in hopes to help even just one person going through a hard time or trying to help someone who is this whole post is quite long but if you are the type of person who likes to make people laugh or youre comforting someone who is i think this might be helpful the context i am living in a big foreign city that i dont feel like i belong in away from all my friends and family otherside of the world from everyone i love a few months ago my longterm girlfriend had to leave the country permanently due to not being able to get a workvisa its a lottery system i had issues before but i have been feeling quite depressed since today is exactly one year since my grandad whom i was extremely close to passed away the day he passed i was here in this foreign city by myself getting minutely updates from my mother who was in hospital with the rest of my family until  when i got the message saying he passed it was the first loss i experienced so it was rough today my whole family got together back home and my mother facetimed me so i could be there one of the things i love the most is to make people laugh and smile all my old school reports are filled with complaints from teachers who say im a classclown and a distraction when i was making everyone laugh during the facetime from the otherside of the world i felt this temporary relief  a high of the highest magnitudes where i was completely freed from my darkness its hard to explain the feeling but i felt so good seeing all these people i love smile and be happy after the call ended i went to bed alone and was suddenly consumed by this intense sadness  i felt so alone and i couldnt stop crying in the morning i had this realisation based off how i felt the night before and i texted it to my girlfriend who is also going through a hard time being alone and away from me below is what i texted her word for word   gtmy mum called me from the restaurant   gt  gtit was nice to say things to make everyone laugh   gt  gtcant really explain the feeling  gt  gtpeople say comedians have high suicide and depression rates because they use laughter to hide their true feelings  gt  gtbut i realised thats probably false   gt  gtwhen you make people laugh and make people happy you feel temporarily lifted so high   gt  gtyou forget everything and feel like you are valued because you can bring happiness to peoples lives and naturally you smile when you see other people happy   gt  gtbut when youre already sad the fall off the cliff after that feeling draws back is bigger than before   gt  gtso after a comedian comes off the stage and spotlight and back to his or her hotel room alone  gt  gtin that moment the loneliness is intensified   gt  gti think people have it so wrong   gt  gtand it probably doesnt help how people treat those kinds of people who like making others laugh and are feeling depressed intensely sad or even suicidal   gt  gtbecause everyone thinks they know whats going on but its actually very different gtthats why minutes before i went to bed i felt so happy when i made everyone laugh   gt  gtbut when i went to bed alone the sadness was more intense   gt  gtso it made me realise today   gt  gtremembering people like robin williams   gt  gteveryone said his suicide was because he used comedy to mask his true feelings   gt  gtthat doesnt explain the whole story i think gtsomething to keep in mind when talking to people who are feeling down    gt  gtwhen you talk to friends or family  gt  gtor even when analysing yourself    gt  gtthe events preceding the intense sadness is more important than whatever is happening in the moment gtthat means if your friend says shes feeling super down and depressed and you take them out for a good time and see them laugh and smile and say i havent felt this good in weeks it feels like the cloud above my head is gone and that makes you glad   gt  gtafter you say goodnight and they go home alone   gt  gtthats when you need to check up on the friend again  gt  gtbecause thats when the intense sadness from the fall will hit in   gt  gtwhen she is alone in her room in the dark with all her thoughtsgtthis is my theory  gt  gtbut i hope it helps yourself and how you deal with people who need help i must apologise because i do not know how you can avoid this or bounce back my girlfriend asked me how i escaped this sadness and i just said i went to sleep and distracted myself and tried not to think about it too much when i woke up but i do sincerely hope that this can help someone out there and if you are going through a hard time please know you are not alone and there are people struggling all around you and all over this planet we live on the fight you are going through is not yours alone we are all fighting together so please keep fighting thank you for reading,3.0
32170,miguelstdancer yup i see it sucks ,2.0
32171,rt alexandranatic ka sad ba sa lyf,2.0
32172, idk why but my heart just sank when i saw that,2.0
32173,jinxx hahah me too ,0.0
32174,jaywalking is the best im gonna miss this ,2.0
32175,duncanmacgregor  yes   just a grotty cold with fever ,2.0
32176,sunday  clean house and spend a day with the lovely lillie ,0.0
32177, thanks for everythinggg   heard you cleaned my room  lol so nice man so nice,0.0
32178,idk just me saying stupid shit i have no one to talk even tho i know a ton of people sometimes i want to cry in order to remove the weight of emptiness but i simply cant two years ago my grandma died and she was the person that i probably loved the most but i couldnt feel a thing i dont know what to do anymore i dont even have real friends i feel alone i dont know what do to anymore my life is completely garbage and im unable to change it most of the times its like im going nuts and i cant realize what is real anymore,3.0
32179,havent been on  twitter in awhile  oh going to the movies with alex,2.0
32180,randball only one ,2.0
32181,ahhhh im bored and tired but i dont wanna go to sleep ,2.0
32182,one week into  how are you doing  ,0.0
32183,katiegong why  youre ognna go to the academy and have fun,2.0
32184,rodriguezequal  adrian and i are proud athiests  and well raise smart athiest liberal children and we will be happy,0.0
32185,at the beach  so nice ,0.0
32186,how do i cope with my depressive and suicidal thoughts they are so overpowering ive been trying to be positive or look on the bright side and change my whole attitude towards myself and things i do but recently ive been becoming more and more suicidal the thoughts just overpower and positive self talk i give ive tried asking my mom for help but she seems to care as much as my friends donot much,3.0
32187,how can i make myself cry i feel on the verge of it it always makes me feel better once i sob it all out yet something is stopping me from fully letting go,3.0
32188,new album now on itunes  go leave some reviews made my day,0.0
32189,get well sharika  we need you in the fight  i am saying prayers for your recovery,1.0
32190,life is unfair and painful im so tired of living tired of never being happy im always sad and stressed recently i got obsessed with a really beautiful girl on the instagram and this feeling is crushing me because i know ill never get to be with someone like her im  ugly and short im shy and introverted ive been rejected by countless girls and i lost hope ill ever be in a relationship and experience loveyou see ive been struggling with depression since i was  now im  ive been depressed for so long that i lost any dream i had in the past theres nothing that i want aside from being in a relationship with a gorgeous girl but i know this will never happen its really pathethic to desire such a shallow thing i know but thats the only thing i want and the only thing i desirei dont know what to do anymore i wish i could get rid of this desire i wish i was never born why the world is so unfair why couldnt everyone be born beautiful why there are ugly and beautiful people rich and poor i dont want to live anymore ill probably kill myself someday oh god it hurts so much the pain is destroying me please make it stop i cant endure anymore,3.0
32191,rt mochimanggae hows a liscensed mental health professional out here calling ppl that share stories about their own mental health throug,0.0
32192,yetregressing  i do not know what is going on but i hope it gets better soon or i will shank a bitch,2.0
32193,i feel like my depression is starting to come back my depressing is coming starting to stay up all night anxiety keeping me from wanting to work i just cant believe how i could start feeling like this again i mean i thought i had it in control but in reality i was not really taking care of myself been gone from home for a year now and im already smoking because i cant sleep at night and im drinking which i always thought i would never do but its my vice thats the only time i feel somewhat normal but i dont think i feel normal either way right after christmas i just felt so alone with out anybody who cared for me being  miles away from home and just no calls no mentions it just was stupid that i even cared like every other week im just glad ive made it through the week aint got no friends where im at and no one to really talk too my day just consist of work and siting in empty room and repeating over and over i feel like im losing my mind and having to deal with being alone ive tired doing dating but my anxiety is just to much for giving people the sense of being sick of mesome days i wish i was gone just wasnt here anymore,3.0
32194,mirtazapine vs citalopram just been switched from citalopram to mirtazapine and was wondering what im in forive heard that they can be fairly sedating which would be quite problematic for meany info would be great thanks,3.0
32195,i cant seem to escape it ive been dealing with my depression for over four years now sometimes id feel okay and i could manage to keep going pretending to be ok other times the mask slips and everyone wonders whats wrong with me its hard to keep up the act harder still when im at home and not at work i tried doing therapy but frankly it just didnt cut it i stopped going a while ago and stopped taking my meds honestly it doesnt get too bad havent tried anything dont have the guts to but there are still times where i would sit and stare at my phone or computer and not touch anything or even move i just need something to exist for i just cant find anything not looking for advice just wanted to say it without being dragged to the hospital,3.0
32196,it is feeling like a rough mental health evening praying for the sister mamas who are up with babies,1.0
32197,at work still need to get my coffee out of smokes  didnt wake up in time to go buy more,2.0
32198,made it to sf in record time still tix left for jenny lewis hooray worth the risk  i hope zach likes it,0.0
32199,scottseligman i love you ,0.0
32200, are you talking about allowing guns in a mental health facility,0.0
32201, sweet i hope im quick enough to type one in on time ,0.0
32202,i miss my  ,2.0
32203,hollyxann oh no  heat pad and warm water,2.0
32204,got my lightening bolt charm for my bracelet only makes me miss them more ,2.0
32205,maulaw sad unta oy,2.0
32206,martyatizea ,2.0
32207,shaanx just note my flipvideo lasted only  year ,2.0
32208,my dad is the most unreasonable man in the universe ,2.0
32209,saaaad my love is injured ,2.0
32210,  tonights outfit new shoes pretty but kinda hurt ,2.0
32211,likes the new layout  ,0.0
32212,sunshineblows i got the truth  ,0.0
32213,tazmaniansoul hey gotcha coming up ,0.0
32214,falselove oh thats good my top  are the haunted housesound one bakery inside ralphies body amp  i forget ,2.0
32215,i must commit suicide now because im indian nothing hurts more than being a normal indian and getting called a shitskin rapist subhuman who shits in the street everyday on reddit it has completely changed my worldview i thought the americans and europeans are humane and acceptingnot saying they arent you can use the most disgusting racist words against indians and no one would care the common perception is that indians deserve it since they are scammers and rapistnow i realize that im an inferior subhuman and i must commit suicide so as to keep sexual selection going on whats the point if i dont  i will always be known as a creepy rapist inferior scammer this entire lockdown which people cant tolerate is my normal lifeits over buddy boyos,3.0
32216,i wish i had itunes but i cant afford it ,2.0
32217,sgottschalk im trying to have fun  i did think of you while eating a smore actually,0.0
32218,how to come to terms with growing up when i was in high school i had depression due to school during that time i would always look back to my childhood and happy times and when i wasnt stressed once that school year was over my depression seemingly went away but it left really bad anxiety issues which are here til date fast forward a few years later i am just a few years away from starting my life on my own i get major anxiety thinking about that every single minute of my day is spent thinking about this i think about my life up til high school and how stress free and fun i think about how i am getting older and having more responsibilities i keep thinking about how i wanna go back home and live there i think how my parents are aging and i wont be with them forever i just keep thinking about the past and when i had no stress im not ready for the future i want to come to terms with growing up but i just dont know how to i am worried that this problem will just get worse if i dont address it,3.0
32219,realized i cant do bumper carts or gokarts anymore too much anxiety 🙅🏼,2.0
32220,ot is not fun ,2.0
32221,meanwhile intentionally skipping sugarfrees quotkwartoquot in the playlist just because haha  but waitnow its quoteternal flamequot wow,0.0
32222,looking forward for thursday but not for the  hour flight ,2.0
32223, you guys are so sweet ladychristina  doctors and jackwhat a combo you guys are killing me ,0.0
32224,importantshock i love you  ,2.0
32225, say whatever is in your mind what youre doingeatingseeinglisteningfeeling ,0.0
32226,is sad because davey is not here to cuddle up in bed ,2.0
32227,estão sempre a surpreenderme medo next time remember to go home after the pub ,0.0
32228,fletchmcgull nice glad to hear it  hey no problem always want to pass along great info ,0.0
32229,its time for some lunch session  i know its late out hea but i cant help it s lol,0.0
32230,followfriday jujualag a new tweep im getting to know and thanks to also for your followfriday ,0.0
32231,listening to elos out of the blue  albumout in the sun on the patio working on some drums   playing distortion tonight w lizband,0.0
32232,keithrueca lol i guesssigh i better do better next time get lots of sleep ,0.0
32233,elyse thanks  i sometimes have to control myself to stop eating xd,0.0
32234,good tweet ,2.0
32235,had an awesome time  sunset with brooke im gonna really miss her ,2.0
32236,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
32237,testing today  maybe seeing zach after school mmmyeah,2.0
32238,jamesdeen you mean she didnt get you chocolate ice cream or likechocolate chip solves the ice cream amp chocolate need ,0.0
32239,bigdaws its a bit on the sticky side this evening would like sit on patio with cold beer but the fridge is beer less ,2.0
32240,drrus awesome song truly ,0.0
32241,what a nice day beer garden weather ,0.0
32242,just had a positive experience with a college counsellor after years of frustration with pricey therapists if you have access to one its worth a go pro  its covered by the tuition fee finally could afford seeing one regularlyit really takes away my stress guilt and cynicism for paying so much for a private therapist my colleges counselling center encourages regular sessions as well i think i will finally commit to seeing a therapist regularly even just for maintenance or periodic assessmentpro  they have more experience and empathy dealing with studentsfor the first time i didnt have someone immediately dismiss my drive to do better academically my previous therapists always just told me to chill oh your gpa is good enough go out more and have fun but the counsellor i saw today seems more connected with how competitive and stressful school can be and acknowledge though certainly not indulge my obsession with my studiestldr almost gave up therapy because of the price gave my colleges free counsellorclinical psychologist a go turns out she was just as good dont give up,3.0
32243,ex crush cacthes my bus now    dunno what to do anymore  goin zoo tomoz tried out for sourtern stars,2.0
32244,i have lost count of the days left amp too tired to count may be  the phrase quotmy emotional bank is emptyquot is fairly accurate  ,2.0
32245,taking a shower ,0.0
32246,just wanted to ask about that st johns thing i have to do for hallam u knw going there every  monday to cook  i dont wanna go ,2.0
32247,fitmusician how about getting rid of sciatica ,2.0
32248,really wants to party ,2.0
32249,have to go now quottheres no reason to stay anymorequot ,2.0
32250,saturday n workin like a dawg  what a shame sup fellow tweets mornin,2.0
32251,obsess with ex even after  years i obsess over my ex a lot he was my first boyfriend and then i screwed it up i left him first  years ago and then our relationship was never normal again we dated again on and off kind of but then  years ago was the last time we dated i feel depressed i used to look at his media every other day hoping to see if he has a girlfriend yet because i dont want to feel trapped anymore i want something to tell me that it is over and to force myself to get over it i even tried getting to know new people but it isnt the same i always think that no one is as good as him i realized that im so in love with him after it was too late  i always wish this is a bad dream but sadly it isnt i always hope that one day hell text me vv he is from the uk we could have made this online relationship work but i screwed it and i wish he could just see this and see that this post is a sign to message me  i will always love him sadly,3.0
32252,my pop my lord  how much more can i grieve for mypop   my pop passed  of    i couldnt watch or even listen went back to work in  days hit me on about the  dayive never been so devastated in my life how does a son even try to explain his father as that what kind of man he was the father the man  what his presence brough the oh my god pop where are you the sorrythe sadnessi miss you pop anger whats going to happen now pop and then with everything going on i want to end my life i want to dieand i tried to  twice  i cant remember alot of what all happened i had been sober  years  then all it took was a beerthen i was all the way back to my sickness alcohol i had lost my fatherthe most amazing person that ever lived the one person who would be with meguide me show me my life and be strong just like him but he was gone he was forever gone even thoughmy pop died at  years old even then for whatever reason didnt think about him dyingdidnt ever think it  he wasnt super man he didnt suffer at all buthe died sorry for the rant or whatever but damn that was good for me to just think a little and type whatever screwit depression is dabilitating no matter what happens in your life it hurts seems like theres nothing you can try or do i truly wish i could help someone but i cant right nowits not good always think it will bemy short real   fucked up story  thanks for reading this through c,3.0
32253,morning new yorkers ugggh havent been sleeping properly since last friday  movies w rayan nd co tonight year one yo  over nd owt,2.0
32254,i hate feeling complicated  i just cant be arsed with anything at the moment ,2.0
32255,  quick pen drawing of the kitty ,0.0
32256,sending proposal hope it will progress ,0.0
32257,yall im so sad to say this that i stopped watching meteor garden at  till i feel like watching it again id ,1.0
32258,gabrielpalos thanks for the reminder i lost mine ,2.0
32259,this one will hurt dinara way more than the other two ,2.0
32260,one week to go before my birthday hope no one will ever ruin that day  ps starbucks gcs are accepted hehehe ,0.0
32261,im lovin this pre summer sun but i wish i was the one out there enjoying for a change ,2.0
32262,goodbye orange county  ill be back friday,2.0
32263,i really want to see avenged more than anything right now ,2.0
32264,hmm sad i no 😒,1.0
32265,i cant find any nyquil  soooo sick all i want is to be able to breath again,2.0
32266,while working out moving average smoothing and other forecasting methods miss sniff and sneeze visited me ,2.0
32267,sidraz thinks mumu as in oversized womens tunic should be spelled moomoo ,0.0
32268,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
32269,manishbodhankar surely manish mee marathi ,0.0
32270,done visitis javascriptkits word count arse i think i overdid it ,2.0
32271,mileycyrus when you said quotgo to youtubequot i was expecting to see a new video on your mileymandy page but was sad when i didnt ,2.0
32272,qnslipstream hey dearie are u taking good care of ur joan jet hope we go some nice place soon thanx  am ,0.0
32273,excited about my rodan  fields business meeting tonight  so many lives changed  wwwleslietalkingtonmyrandfcom  ,0.0
32274,i like the message ,0.0
32275,saybohmc pikaclicks jasknightwing ammorgaan its situational im talking about most depression in american teens honestly,1.0
32276,one week down  more days to go im so tired boo ,2.0
32277,belindakayew i think she was saying your not a kid anymore ,0.0
32278,i feel too stressed to live on this planet i honestly feel too stressed to live at this point i want time to go back to when it was easy to when all i had to worry about was my future career wise now thinking about the future makes me sweat balls i could relax writing stories and concepts now its like its all useless seeing as at this point there will be no future im only  and seeing how fast shit hits the fan i dont think id make it to  im dreading summer as i know im overreacting but i dont know if i can make it mentally i havent had a real conversation with someone other then my mother and brother in years its isolating im going to die and no one will know my name which isnt a good start to someone who wants their work remembered i want to be a director or a writer i always havewhat im saying is i dont want to worry about the planet anymore i just want to go back to worrying about myself and myself only living every second with the weight of the idea that the world will end soon is beginning to make me think maybe killing myself is the best option i dont want to die but no one knows who i am im just another drop in the ocean im begging at this point for someone to talk to,3.0
32279,its come back last year i was so depressed that i couldnt enjoy my holidays my parents are divorced and i hadnt talked to my mother at all for most of the year  apart from telling her to leave me alone and i dont know why i love her but i cant stand being with her for some reason maybe its her fucking stupid husband my dad seemed to be my only friend but on the holidays when i flew to dubai to visit him  i go to boarding school i was even worse and when i was crying my eyes out and he tried to help me i kicked him away i brought him to tears which i had never seen before after christmas it seemed better but now i feel worse than ever and i am repeatedly telling myself that im going to end it all but im too much of a pussy to do it,3.0
32280,krabi is amazing beach everyday shame i have to leave day after tomorrow  anybody hear about that pilot thy got atrested in the uk why,2.0
32281,suicide is selfish gaahhhhhhhh gah get the fuck off me and get out of my head youve had a nice run in my head since the fourth grade but im  now and i cant live with you anymoreyou tried to kill me when i was  things have changed ive changed a lot im not perfect far from it but since youre paying attention youve known in the last two years ive been doing a myriad of things to get an edge over you and i wont let you take them from me theyre too important to me im too important to me to be stolen by a malevolent force who despite being strong enough unchecked in the long term to isolate me and leave me astray is really so weak that i can shoot it out of the sky as i attempt to express it outside of my body and brain before the words even land on the page you had been so selfish my life would be so much more vibrant natural and active if i hadnt let you commandeer my outlook for all these yearsi understand why you came small community that bullied harassed and isolated me made no friends until i got into high school and even then not really until my senior year you convinced me to drop my love of reading and my beloved encyclopedia and all my curiosities about the world outside my community by proving to me that humanity and society is full of shit that im too weak to handle this im useless and cant ease the suffering of those around me let alone myself you were wrong i gave you too much power ive weakened you a lot in the last three years changed my diet and got outside more on weekdays better hygiene and fashion sense even if i am the lower middle class burned a light for urban exploration over bridges all over the place became ambiverted more social detoxified my personality cut off sugary drinks and soda learned the power of a nice smile open minded had some amazing experiences made my first best friend and mustered up the courage to hold the hand of someone i now call my soulmate and its mutual public speaking getting way out of my comfort zone c working on confidence and being okay with being vulnerable rational emotice behavioral therapy self thought and philosophy ive pursued these last few half heartedly but with wonders and i will pursue a lot more in my lifetime for my best friend for my girlfriendfor my brother father and my mother bless them and their sacrifices else i wouldnt even be here for everyone who ever believed believes in and will believe in me even my enemies and those who fall out of touch and for me fuck you you will not take any of this away from me the daily stoic albert ellis book on rebt and ferry and subway pass are on my bookshelf and god damn i havent leveraged those fully i almost let you ruin february for me thinking about you romanticizing you and almost letting you steal all my hard work after making me think of them as obstacles to your definition of freedom now i will make you actively fight me because i still care about myself after all while i still can damn you i will make you fight me until i purge you clean i will fight you until i can push you into the moat and i know you wont die ill fight you at the drawbridge and i will plunge a pike through your horse every time you change at me you look at me jealously you look at those little villagers and all the wealth ive stockpiled youre not welcome here not anymore you are corrupt and there is no justifying you anymore even if i fall down i wont ever grab your hand this whole thing sounds cheeky and slimy but i have to put it out there  im going to go grab a coffee and try to not imagine reading this aloud as though im a superhero im really not ,3.0
32282,away to banchory to visit my mum and dad i think itll have been busy there but the traffic wont be heavy heading out of aberdeen ,0.0
32283,any news on the air france plane heard it crashed na ,2.0
32284,ellyncarnall so open it log in and see what happens ,0.0
32285,nedwin glad you enjoyed dude cant help but smile at it hey saw it on the time off message board ,0.0
32286,acception applications for the position of my boyfriend must be a nice man and very sweet must buy me cigar httpstcoovsdbipziz,0.0
32287,myclue  when i said around  i meant the part between  and ,2.0
32288,wanna try skyfire but they dont support on my device ,2.0
32289,i dont want to live anymore i am constantly bringing myself down and think about suicide every day and rly i just dont want to live anymore ,3.0
32290,calebftsk im up for it ive been studying all day ,2.0
32291,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
32292,colour coding my notes  pain stakingly slow way to organize my studying permanent makers do smell good though ,2.0
32293,im bored my gf won suck my nipple  lol i wish my computer worked,2.0
32294, updates ,0.0
32295,rt saaaabrinaxo my bank account is lookin real sad right now 😂😂😂😂,0.0
32296,i love clean clothes ,0.0
32297,comedyqueen lol xx not goin to c mates or go out ,0.0
32298,mariduarte own thanks ,0.0
32299,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
32300,six days til lbf i cant contain my excitement ,0.0
32301,aboldbeauty hi syrita my love ,0.0
32302,can i take a day off a part time job in my first month i have chronic depression and had it for years i recently got my first job this is my fourth week i work  days a week because im a very busy full time student some friends and such are saying ill be fired for taking off work so early and since i work part time but i cant stop crying today and i could barely get out of bed im having a day where i just cant put on the mask and get through it i cant stop crying and i cant imagine getting through an  hour shift today,3.0
32303,sunstroke is not fun ,2.0
32304,hopefully denver can pull this out but the lakers are looking tough ,2.0
32305,i cant find just one person to talk to me  billion people and not one person will talk to me for longer than a minute,3.0
32306,why does everyone at my lab office steal my pens im almost penless ,2.0
32307,ruffianstew if you dont like it just say you never received it ,0.0
32308,financial adviser who left elderly investors contemplating suicide is jailed for six years   daily mail online ,2.0
32309,im sooooooooooo spoiledi always get my waymwahahaha ,0.0
32310,just a thought do you agree sorry for being not so uplifting life is something i dont understand why do people find it so grandwe do the things in a fashion that only differs ever so slightly making the day a repetitive drag eating excreting socializing and doing whatever else you do in your free time is what a day consists of i play games and exercise cause thats all i can do in this crappy place that i live but this can apply to anyone maybe im just low on serotonin but i feel life is how i truly feel its like like all these chemicals running through your brain to make you feel good are a fake veil that just allow you to tolerate it more without any thing to influence how you feelthose things being the chemicals in your brain it shows your reality in a state of neutrality in terms of nothing there to make it better nothing fake its just your reality and your perceptions are maybe the most clear as there is no chemicals to enhance the experience and that experience isnt enhanced its simply what it is before serotonin and dopamine come in depression show how life truly is and your brain just makes chemicals to make it seem better than it really is maybe im wrong but just this strange thought popped in my head and i never thought it before what do yall think ,3.0
32311,how do i get out of my house and live life if everythings stopping me i recently graduated and didnt apply for uni because i wanted to take a gap year working but now its been a month of applications and no one will hire me i havent made close enough bonds with my friends to hang out with them too much and am slowly attending places with them right now my best friend is on a holiday i hate feeling cramped in the house with no money but i have no friends to take and no money to spend and i cant go alone because i hate being alone while in public what do i do i dont have a car and no one is willing to take me to therapy to get over my fear of being outside but im slowly going insane being stuck inside with nothing to do life only gets faster and sadder,3.0
32312,mashoojames oh aww  haha oh well lets enjoy our last week oh noo lol,2.0
32313,how i cured my depression  hi  this is my first blog post about my first book plan d how i cured my depression amp anxiety and you can too its an ebook that is free to read if you have kindle unlimited   i have had depression since i was a child i spent most of my life without a label for it as a kid i thought the feelings i was having were normal but as an adult i realized i was suffering from depression i was ashamed when i realized that i was not normal i spent many years in denial once i knew i had depression i began to think a lot about what it would be like to be normal to not have this constant weight tied to me while i tried to navigate through my very busy life as a wife and mother to three kids  for me normal is being able to look someone in the eye and have a conversation or just to smile with the feeling of actual happiness normal is to wake up with energy to tackle my day and maybe have a few laughs along the way some people dream big dreams but mine was to just feel normal  to say that all i wanted in life was to feel normal sounds pretty boring but if you are suffering from depression and anxiety you know exactly what i mean  after i cured my depression i was able to have my wish every day i wake up and i am normal it is an amazing thing to talk with my friends and family without tears welling up in my eyes it is a blessing to live each day with energy and happiness finally i was happy and most importantly normal but finding the cure for myself wasnt enough something kept gnawing at me i had the answer to a question that millions of people wanted to knowhow to cure depression  my dilemma  option a i could go on with my life and be happy while keeping my secret this was a good option for me i had kept my depression a secret for basically my whole life no one would ever know i would not have to tell my kids or my parents or my brothers and sisters i could just move on with my life quietly and peacefully  option b i could be crazy and write a book exposing my pain and shame to the world in the hope that i could reach just one other person like me and save them from this terrible disease  well i wrote my book plan d so i guess i am crazy but you know what else i am normal,3.0
32314,awake  toooooooo early,2.0
32315,this shit is pointless i feel hopeless my brain is a chemical bomb thats going to kill me someday thats what its going to do and theres no amount of medication i can take that will stop it i can slow it down for a bit with medication but it will detonate and it will kill me thats what living like this feels likeit also feels like my heart is going to burst from the constant anxiety attacks im a mess i cant focus i cant think i cant see straight most days why go on like thisthe world is on fire im being crushed under student debt i havent had a job in almost a yearfuck this,3.0
32316,rt ksinstitute i absolutely think there could be big implications of having a mild cognitive deficiency with small amounts of dehydrat,1.0
32317,laurenandhearts im sorry lauren for kakingyou feel bad ,2.0
32318,i cant believe this is all part of my detox it is because i was so fine and now im talking all core wounds oh my god jesus help me ,0.0
32319,happy birthday my melo now play like u want this fo yo burfday  muah go nuggets lock in,0.0
32320,spending to cope hello reddit ive suffered from depression for quite a few years i am currently in an ongoing relationship but its getting rocky because of my issues i spend money on things here and there to get that boost but its overall killing my relationship i promised my girlfriend that i would be open to her about spending but still find myself hiding and spending behind her back does anyone else suffer the same and if so have you found good ways to cope and to stop yourself before it goes on for too long,3.0
32321,coachbilal looks like youre up  enjoying your late night so far,0.0
32322,i  jdownloader ,0.0
32323,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
32324,northdakotagirl thank you ,0.0
32325,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
32326,is suicide worth it i dont know what to do with my life anymore,3.0
32327,its sad that my cocaine,2.0
32328,i miss babyvtec  if not for law school couldve been watching a double feature tonight grrrrrr ,2.0
32329,how to decorate my house with minimum effort thanks to depression i dont have much energy for any special makeover or decor projects but i do want to make my living space less unlikable any advice,3.0
32330,listening to ddlovato s dont forget i hate this feeling ,2.0
32331,working in a warehouse makes me want to die i work for an online retailershipment company idk if i can name them or if thats not a rule here but they start with an aanyways i have fibro and am in  pain constantly i submitted an accommodation request and had my dr sign off on it for a minor part of the job they ended up denying it because i wasnt technical enough i was feeling depressed enough working there already but this really adds on to itfor those of you who dont have fibro the cold is excruciating and im more prone to injuries in the coldi havent been back for a month and im finally going back today but im scared ive been crying about it all morning and id rather do anything than go back to that hellscape the thought just fills me with so much despair ive been in a depressive funk already bc of the covid crisis so its all piling onjust thinking of stepping through those barred rotating doors makes me want to die it all just fills me with so much dread,3.0
32332,any exercise recommendations i know ive become really inactive its just so hard with depression to have the motivation to even get out of bed i was just wondering if there are any recommendations for house bound exercise or youtube videos that people particularly like that they could recommend i cant leave the house due to severe anxiety but do try and get out and walk when i can but ideally need something i can do in the house daily any help is appreciated ,3.0
32333,randraspberry  awww poor raych   dude its just a movie that freaky ole lady wont try rape u dont worry haha,2.0
32334,had some elaborate dreams last night back to the books again though cant spend all day in bed ,2.0
32335,✨🔮 i see some fortune in something youll fuck up anyways plan for overwhelming anxiety  🔮✨,1.0
32336,gosh i feel so sad for him,1.0
32337,my situation i need to vent first of all sorry for my bad englishi dont even know if this is the right sub for thisim a guy and im  im living a very bad period im always sad i feel like im useless i feel that nobody really loves me like if i die now yeah maybe theyll cry theyll be sad but max  week and theyll forget totally except my parentsi feel like im inferior to everyone else i see other people always superior than me like they knew everything better than me more knowledge more good looking etc etc  im not able to socialize i think that i dont wanna see other people cause im afraid of the impression of me they could have in fact everytime that i see a person and i say goodbye to himher i always feel bad cause im afraid i could have given a bad impression of myself i dont even like my appearance dont saytry to change etc cause i always try and maybe im not ugly maybe im a nice guy but i fucking hate my appearance i hate seeing other people that make their friends laugh that are able to socialize very easy etc cause i wanna be like them but i just cantim not the worst person of the world i mean i think i dont suck i feel like im just mediocre and this hurts me also way more than sucking cause  if i suck i could even say yeah man i fucking suck but no i cant even do that sorry im not able to say this last concept in english very well i hope you have understood it the same ahahahthank you if youll answer bye,3.0
32338,katiejconway  leaving me yet again,2.0
32339,postsecret i just want to say i am in shock because you posted a secret i sent in thank you ,0.0
32340,happy mothers day ,0.0
32341,i want to be gone from public memory dear god if you exist i want to be disappear gone from everyone else memory i want my memory to be gone tooi rather have a fake memory than i have nowi want to be forgotten so i can act to be someone else i hate this version of myself for being such a turd,3.0
32342,tired of being sickalcohol doesnt help ,2.0
32343,lokey its only bout  right now but it may be too close to the line of sight thus they couldnt fix it anyways  mums taking it in tmr,2.0
32344,keeping myself busy at work tonight nothing special planned ,0.0
32345,good morning and good night ,0.0
32346,whats wrong with me i am a  year old girl i have good close friend group and a wonderful boyfriend  senior year is going great for the most part  but sometimes i just feel so alone and when i feel alone dark thoughts just fill my mind i feel like my boyfriend doesnt care about me or want to be around me i just feel so ugly i feel like i have some form of body dysmorphia no matter how many times im complimented i refuse to believe them i know its not true but these thoughts persist and never go away i started cutting myself thoughts of i want to die repeat themselves over and over again in my mind its driving me crazy i stopped going to my therapist im just wondering how can my life be going great but i still feel so sad what should i do ,3.0
32347,tired  really do not want to get up stupid work,2.0
32348,gregadams no offense intended     ,0.0
32349,laying on my bed with my little mermaid blanket listening to owl city with my fan on ,0.0
32350,someone tell me how to change my pic its not working for me  is there something extra i need to do,2.0
32351,rt zachxr i hate having anxiety so much not being able to enjoy myself or meet new people really fucks w my head,1.0
32352,id rather be dead then have to work working is such a mental drain for me especially in hospitality when i say to someone i fucking hate work and they reply well i hate it too but you have to do it its like nah i can just kill myself i really dont get how the suicide rate isnt higher working is  me rationalizing suicide,3.0
32353,shit   i had a bit of a sad faraday moment,2.0
32354,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
32355,therealcashis not a damn thingjust doin mestill loli cant complain u seem good  i sent u a dm too,0.0
32356, its wasnt me your honour i swear on my life im blonde please take pity,2.0
32357,i dont want to be cured i dont really want to not be depressed anymore like i used to look stuff up listen to different sources but now i really just cant stand the thought of having to live again it honestly feels impossible to be happy i dont know,3.0
32358,having a lovely family night at home ,0.0
32359,ah at last  just wanted to say was up most of the night after a dodgy bbq spare ribs from local take a way  so whos all on here,2.0
32360,wooohooo new chickenfoot video ,0.0
32361,going to bed now  night yall,0.0
32362,my life is a clogged sink overflowing and spilling water onto the kitchen floor my problems are solvable but the weight of the water is drowning me and seeping into the foundation i think i lost my best friend and ex wife tonight for good part of me is scared its true and part of me is scared its not ive never loved anyone like i love her no one has ever so completely gotten understood and loved me her paranoia anxiety and possessive behavior was so toxic it ended our marriage and pushed our friendship past where i could emotionally survivea girl i met after the relationship ended brought some semblance of happiness but she always had a crisis and she just felt four years younger than me instead of the four years older than me she actually was she honestly makes me feel ok about who i am she drains me so low emotionally that it affects other parts of my lifei was a  student and now im clawing to pass i need to beg a professor to extend a deadline so i dont fail in one class and pray i know more than i think for the upcoming tests i love school i love learning i never am off like when i worked i always have more that needs done no weekend is safe duty weekends are back but every weekendwhen i look in the mirror im kind of afraid at who i see looking back at me when i smile she smiles when i cry she cries when i think she looks ugly am i when i think shes got endearing scars and a beautiful face containing a beautiful spirit am i right or am i selling myself something when i think im ugly im right when i think im beautiful im right im just unfortunately usually right about being uglyputting my shoes on feels talking down demons eating feels like putting furniture in a room i dont usei linger in the darkness every bit the sun grows higher a grim reminder of my obligationsim drowning i just wish i knew a plumber,3.0
32363, gonna try it right now jewelsmyfav is my bb tech support shes gonna fix it for me ,0.0
32364,mummabear ooo what did you get him would dm if i could  ,2.0
32365,hennojhoto yup i actually started the one in lakewood this past week ,0.0
32366,i just bought knocked up dvd on amazonjp haha ,0.0
32367,ive been sneezing for  minutes straight and not those wussy sneezes either my whole face hurts ,0.0
32368,anyone hate depression so much that they would take everyones depression from them and give it to yourself so that they can be happy and never again have to feel how you feel despite not being that depressed i hate this feeling cant be motivated cant do anything and hating myself each and every day it makes me more depressed thinking that people out there also are experiencing depression even worse than i am and i wish i could suck the depression out of every depressed person so they can be happy and never experience it again at my cost,3.0
32369,discovered flat tire too late to fix tonight hoping fixing tomorrow plus rounds doesnt affect vano goal  sigh its the little things,2.0
32370,i hate life right now hiim going through a really rough period and it feels as though everything is getting on top of me im a secondyear student studying computer science with games programming and im really strugglingright now i have  deadlines due in  one in ten days luckily i have almost completed the programming for the one in ten days but i still have to write the report and fix little bits the rest of them are causing me so much anxiety and stress and i dont feel like im going to pass them at alli dont feel like ive learned much at all in my time here i hate lectures with a passion because just sitting there listening to someone drone on about something when theyd rather not be there does not help me at all and honestly im just completely burnt out and exhausted everything feels like the biggest job in the world  even just sleeping and waking up feels difficult and heavy nevermind having to code an ai and understand quantum computingive tried to do my own research get stuff done on time and look after myself during all this but i just cant do it anymore im struggling to remember anything i barely even remember yesterday every day feels the exact samethen it comes to placements i have applied for some placements and thus far have not been accepted for any of them i have just applied for the final one that im actually interested in and am really really hoping that i get it because i know that ill be really disadvantaged if i dont get one additionally the placement sounds awesome and i literally cannot do another year of education straight after this one id end up just dropping outi think what is really frustrating to me is that all of the placements have expected us to know several things in a great detail of depth which imo we havent been taught i have tried to look at this stuff online and in books and just cannot concentrate on it im too burnt out to read and remember the stuff plus i find learning from books to be just as bad as lectures the modules which are meant to be teaching us this stuff have either been on strike or have not covered topics indepth enough to meet the placements needswe have also had lessons canceled due to strikes for months and now the uni is doing all lessons online due to coronavirus  i dont feel like we have been taught much at all and i know that im going to struggle with online teaching more than i do in person for two of my modules we have just been told to copy and paste stuff and thats itmy head is just constantly thinking about uni and work over and over and i cant seem to get it to stopi just really needed to rant if anyone has any advice for me or anything then that would be greatly appreciatedthanks,3.0
32371,bperrry i miss you ,2.0
32372,nataliekendall thats right my brain fell outta my head for a second there ,0.0
32373,wrdcandy and ng doodled car of course ,0.0
32374,almost last week i had been at the end of my tolerance with life so to speak just lost my patience for all the bullshit happening and saw no light at the end of the tunneli took the bus to a nearby walmart to buy some rope to hang myself with in peak capitalist fashion they had no rope for sale outside of these little bungee cordsi went home emptyhanded cried myself to sleep and woke up thinking of what would happen if i had been able to buy that rope the following weekend was the best weekend of my life and i still think everyday about the odds of walmart not having rope the same day i wanted to hang myself i took it as a sign and im on the road to recovery now,3.0
32375,ladystylezz just passing by to say hi have a great day ,0.0
32376,i have raw manhwa but i don´t know koreanso i spent all day stupidly looking at pictures ,2.0
32377,thank you for the support people i know they are not so many but like this is great ,0.0
32378,oneluvgurl hmm that would be a cool change i suppose ,0.0
32379,wafanic i havent broken his card but ofc he won lmfao i just wonder if mileys heart is ok from the anxiety lmaoo,0.0
32380,thank you throughout the day today i found myself thinking of this subreddit and all of the people that are a part of this community i just wanted to let you all know that i seriously legitimately love you i hope you all stay strong and i am thankful knowing im not alone in my depression that i have you all to talk to,3.0
32381,twilightsm im guessing you are staying up all day tonight  cause the mtv movie awards am i correct ,0.0
32382,rooby has a bit of a bug in her belly she doesnt understand why we arent going to the park tonight dont want it getting worse ,2.0
32383,patty smyth just came one the radio at dqquotbang bang i am the warriorquot ,0.0
32384,dear giltgroupe all i wanted was some laura mercier concealer ,2.0
32385,packing stays in for another day ,2.0
32386,i want to die wow how original i feel like i want to die but not because just my life sucks or because of some bad things that happened in my life i live a pretty decent life i would say not great not terrible but i fucking hate the society in which i live in i have everything about it how fake people are how they all try to seem like they are what they are not on instagram how the top  live and how they give almost nothing back donating  percent of your yearly income is just bullshit something that people do only to get a better public image but that money means nothing to them they dont help as much as they could and probably should i constantly feel like were living in a dystopia any one else around here who feels the same,3.0
32387,so tired of everything i am not that person who shares hisher feelings  but ill give it a try i have sht ton of responsibilities and work that i need to finish every day and i am  ive been depressed for  years i cant even remember its become harder and harder to keep up with everything going on i feel low every single day  but i have to put a happy face to hide my pain and no one seems to even see whats goin on i dont talk to anyone about this  because  of all i feel very vulnerable and exposed and also i am afraid of being judged the reasons that i think i might be feeling this way is because i have a super low self e steem i hate the way i look and overall myself i dont get along with my parents anymore and we fight over the stupidest reasonseveryday i need to deal with people that i dont like  i am insomniac i suffered from an eating disorder a couple of years ago i am extremely anxious in social situations and still a very social person get that oh yeah add a thyroid disorder to the mix life is just great what am i supposed to do in the country where i live going to see a therapist is seen as a bad thing like youre some sort of freak or something and my parents wouldnt even suggest that and i am too scared to tell them sooo what do lol,3.0
32388,paulcockerton that is truly impressive cant come close to that takes the argument over whether web needs subs to a new level though ,0.0
32389,taakeachillpill who else are we talking about  urgh nadine  im in the hot seat now,2.0
32390,go lakers go kobe follow me  follow friday   pls n thanks,0.0
32391,bored doing homework ,2.0
32392, cos i cant live without my phiten ,2.0
32393,relationships i feel like i have so much love in my heart to offer but i constantly feel like when i start to talk to someone that they lose interest idk if its actually happening or my head and i tell my self that they would never like me even if it started off good i constantly get more depressed when trying to get into a relationship for that reason ive never had one i want to show someone the world but i put myself down before even taking a risk and get severely down about it what do i do i have confidence at first then convince myself im not good enough every time,3.0
32394,dragonblogger my pleasure  i really enjoy your random word poetry and am disappointed when i miss out on participating,0.0
32395,i secretly want to catch coronavirus i could call in sick to work without any questions and of course theres a small chance it could kill me wins all around,3.0
32396,has been blocked off the internet but thanks to iphone  im back on ,0.0
32397,its lunchtime but i have no money so that means no food ,2.0
32398,tommcfly tom cmon to spend yr day off in rio  on the beach cmon man  u saw that rio is calm  u went to the beach yesterday o xxx,0.0
32399,just came of  and now upgrading site to wordpress  rc  ,0.0
32400,ive been brozoned the last three girls i have been in love with has just brozoned me and i still love the last one but she doesnt want to be with me i feel completly awkward around her and overall pretty sad i kinda cry my self to sleep some nights because of it and i know people have it much worse on her but i only want some advice and i think the place were pretty much everyone is depressed could be a way im sorry for bad english it is my second language,3.0
32401,doning history revision  i am one unhappy chappie atm,2.0
32402,sjgraber and by stay in his house i mean not go anywhere like not my house or anything just his ,2.0
32403,dating someone with depression so ive recently started a relationship with someone who has pretty severe depression weve known each other for awhile now but dating is a whole new ball game i can tell when hes really down and i dont know what more i can do other than to say im here for you if you need anything i support you and am proud of you because i dont want to be the overly clingy girlfriend when he needs to be left alone at the same time i dont want to leave him alone in a time that he really shouldnt be left alone any advice ,3.0
32404,lesson of the day for my sister dont make plans with  yr olds  smiles,0.0
32405,allisonshops  aaaaw i wanted to win the rug ,2.0
32406,xploituk cheers thats fine then  it does look good,0.0
32407,just updated the website june  music night is cancelled   not enough ticket sold,2.0
32408,i am hoping that seacom brings price cuts sooner than next year love competition ,0.0
32409,just a  year old boy venting fuck you for making me suffer for sixteen fucking years you pieces of shit ever since i was born ive been in pain and no one helped me fuck you mom for treating me like shit for making  me feel worthless for ruining  my fuckin life  and causing me agony every single fucking day i wish u aborted me fuck you sis for being the golden child of the family everyone gives u a free pass just cuz ur a girl and you can do whatever the fuck you wantill never foget the how you bullied me and made me feel like shit everyday and of course because your the golden child mom or dad dont come to help me yay fuckin yayfuck you dad for never being there for me fuck you for never giving a single damn about me fuck you for never being the father figure that i needed oh but all you  care about is grades and lets not forget how you fuckin pamper my sister  everyday while i eat shitand fuck you to everyone who let me downwho stabbed me in the backwho ruined my hopes and dreams i wanted to be so many things but you all laughed at meeveryone in my life has always laughed at me fuck all of the prople in school who bullied me for  years and fuck the teachers for never standing up for me not fucking onceso fuck all of you i wanna punch  a fuckin wall till my knuckles   bleed but i cant cuz everyone  will hear me im just so fucking tiredso so so fucking tired but ill be dead soon enough itll all be overpeaceand fuckin silencefor eternity thats all i ask ,3.0
32410,rt nochlllwlll thats sad huh ,2.0
32411,  my new friend at the rv park in delta bc ,0.0
32412,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
32413,dirrtyxx lol not sure wat u mean but if referring to when i write wb it means writers block ,0.0
32414, hey hey have some respect  im joined the spy network of my motherland  england  ,0.0
32415,chriswooster canned air is supposed to work but that only lasted ohhh a week ,2.0
32416,dress like shit today ,2.0
32417,christayna dont kno about u but im not lookin forward to summer school at scc ,2.0
32418, hi i cant upload more pics here for some reason  lets exchange email addresses i am first time here i  ,2.0
32419,i need some advice i think i was depressed most of my life but well i was managing it till now lately it got a bit worse mainly this last week  today i finally mustered the courage to tell my dad that i think i have depression and would like to get professional help it actually went better than i anticipated but still i didnt tell him about the suicidal thoughts and the self harm the self harm started recently and is something i regret greatly and thus my decision to get help  so the advice i need is    should i look for a psychiatrist or a psychologist which one is more likely to understand self harm and actually help me how understanding are most doctors about self harm and lastly how should i approach telling my parents about the self harm     im terrified that once i talk about my self harm the doctor will just treat me as crazy well i might be crazy but thats beyond the point and put me under some heavy medication that will only further numb my mind  your advice will be greatly appreciated and sorry about my english  ,3.0
32420, realdonaldtrump you have something against models youre a sad old libtard,2.0
32421,rossum  didnt get it at the time so missed out ,2.0
32422,should i tell his parents in short i knew my friend was depressed but honestly i thought he was getting better because at the time i was abroad and when i came down he seemed alright he just sent me pictures of lots of cuts on him the most ive seen on anyone that i know as a person there was a lot he has told me countless times how all his friends dont care and only me and another friend does and that i told his parents he will never talk to me again should i tell his parents i dont know what to doi know what its like to be depressed so i want to help him i told him you either come with me to see someone or i will tell your parents,3.0
32423,hmmi want water ,0.0
32424,hollagraphics hahaha just as i played below the heavens cause of you last time ,0.0
32425, was amazing best weekend everrrrr   need a bath tho now  ,0.0
32426,go windies beat the aussies xd ,0.0
32427,have a great afternoon everyone ,0.0
32428, mariners fan ,0.0
32429,cooking with my stepfather ,0.0
32430,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
32431,sometimes i couldnt follow some conversations either im too young to have the experiences they talk about or im not smart enough ,2.0
32432,twisuz yes gay dolphin is still here ,0.0
32433,coldvic  ,2.0
32434,like liam realy did a research bfr about bts even their charity work in  so on how their musics are about mental health issues,0.0
32435,driving while im on the clock is what im talkin bout ,0.0
32436,keeps forgetting to bring her glasses in to work  now i have a headache yuck ,2.0
32437,dreading to go back to work  the only thing im looking forward tomorrow is transformers ,2.0
32438,just accidentally downed half a sherbet fountain in one go now my insides are foamy   ,2.0
32439,video súper sad  😣,0.0
32440,felixcartal are you flying british airways there ,2.0
32441,melismalls at least your thighs dont rub everyday like mine ,2.0
32442,rockwell in a few  saizen heaven ,0.0
32443,my sad song list on youtube just thought id share i love these songs sometimes i like to dive into the depression and just let it all out on a long drivehugs my friends it will be better ,3.0
32444,wonderful song it makes me happy   ,0.0
32445,brainstuck binnyva kazarelth shivaranjan theres a pretty big club here then ,0.0
32446,swaggercheckmdk lol for real i been watchin movies thinkin id fall asleep  not workin lol,2.0
32447,mintsauce yup with suggestive padding and fontsize to make the text appear where you want ,0.0
32448,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
32449,ktvx just noticed it over the weekendof course i thought to recheck after twittering about it  ,0.0
32450,just got a speeding ticket ,2.0
32451,hahah i know but im so glad i went  stories,0.0
32452,ozgovlocalclrs at least they will spell it right ,0.0
32453,the problem with this world is that only those who toot their own horn get somewhere others steal the ideas of the ,2.0
32454, yeah the metro is moving really slowly today cant blame them but still slowed me down a whole lot getting in today ,2.0
32455, sweet caroline  on repeat starting my morning right ,0.0
32456,my prescription meds messed me up and turned my life upside down dealing with the aftermath and i am drowning note i do not advise or recommend anyone stopping medication without asking medical advice from professionals first  this was a desperate choice i made i dont advocate it at all     last year after a particularly rough series of events i spoke to my doctor about getting some help the psychologist i was referred to did more damage than good and i was struggling i was prescribed zoloft and sent on my way    from day one it messed me up i couldnt stop vomiting and couuld barely eat my work was being affected and i had to take time off after a solid history of being a really reliable employee doctor said my body was just getting used to the meds and to keep it up so i did    months passed and the physical effects never stopped they continued to get worse my doctor refused that it was still a reaction to the medicine must be an underlying condition i went through hell and back trying to figure out what was wrong with me    i atarted to become quite erratic on the medicine found that i simply did not care what i did i quit my job the best paying job i will ever likely have because i felt like it i was always feeling sick and didnt want to go to work i got another job and lost it for the exact same reason i could not stop vomiting my life became hell    one day i made the decision to stop taking my meds i thought about the path my life had taken and realised it had all started when i began to take the zoloft i couldnt take the downward spiral anymore so i stopped and reality hit damn hard     i saw my doctor for the last time and told her i had stopped taking my meds i told her how all the head fog was gone how my body and mind felt my own again how i was no longer vomiting every single day i left and will never rerturn to her office after she failed me so badly  also neglected to inform me i had  fractured my back in two places so i didnt get the right treatment    now my life is an absolute wreck i can see with clarity how badly my choices affected my life and i cant help but cry every day i have been applying for job after job for months and have nothing to show for it i even applied for my old job back even though i know theyll never have me    i sit home alone everyday and feel like utter garbage its like ive hit an all new low my physical health has gotten better and my mental health in a way but i cannot stop feeling stupid for leaving my job and messing up my life i feel i have no worth or purpose now and its really tearing me apart i wanted to vent i suppose if anyone has been in a similar situation what did you do to pick yourself up again i just cant do it,3.0
32457,rt gogabagaba wasssupkatie im sick  of the time bc anxiety and its getting old,2.0
32458,xcubanphantomx hey i need to talk to u get at me when u can ,2.0
32459,mrsrincon heard it was really good better than wolverine i havent seen either though ,2.0
32460,molliebryan ha okay  that last  response was meant for erickelley who posted a portfolio  still your work is incredible too ,0.0
32461,davidarchie aww you read the replies on twitter you repleid to some lucky lucky people  sad i wasnt one oh well,2.0
32462,collhugstrees whats wrong ,2.0
32463,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
32464,rt edmundhulton what a sad looking group representing feminists and women in general i hope we do not send these pictures on the next vo,1.0
32465,defydesigns what was the question about transformers  cineworld isnt showing it friday  here ,2.0
32466,is stranded with her band in denver colorado but the show was great and relient k gave us free shirts that makes it a little better ,0.0
32467,starlitstacey ok thank you ,0.0
32468,smarttorso thanks they match my own warped sense of humor ,0.0
32469,frogcooke  lol sounds really strange  um lol ,0.0
32470,jimmydavis thank you for following me i appreciate it look forward to your tweets ,0.0
32471,no no no no no no no no no why why why why why why why you you you you you you you you ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow hannah motnana ,0.0
32472,adderall and depression relapsed on adderall for the past couple days i dumped the rest of the pills and wanted some advice but turned into an essay about the last year of my life its pretty long and all over the placeso im depressed my mom died and my older brother developed an opiate addiction in front of me and i dont know where he is anymore he has no interest in having a relationship with me this and maybe a few other things killed me emotionally i became self destructive i stopped going to school i stopped going to team work outs i alienated myself from my friends without the dynamic of my mom and older brother looking after me i just stopped showing up to lifeafter a month of this my coach told me that this was it im done im not the type of man that the team strives to create and i negatively affect the culture i had a few contracts with my coach before because i wouldnt show up to weight room sometimes and was caught smoking weed my highschool is in one of the best divisions in southern california so we had recruits coming from all over the place as a newly replaced  string linebacker i wasnt exactly a vital asset to the teamin my fragile state i tried to recover and get back on a week later but i had no luck i can remember so vividly sitting there in front of coach anxious and defeated i was low really low i was reaching out for help i was alone and he wouldnt give me yet another chancelooking back now i probably couldve turned it around with some determination but i was too caught up in my head to realize it from there my mental health degraded very quickly i stopped leaving my room all together besides to eat i slept all day and played counterstrike all night gained a bunch of weight eating frozen pizzas this lasted for  months until my dad finally snapped he convinced me to get back to school and finish the year there was only a month left i missed  whole months of the semester but almost all of my teachers helped me pass my classes i had panic attacks from my anxiety i had to go back to school as a pale fat loser but i finished the year thanks to my teachers and the school i go tosummer hit and i was right back with my terrible mentalphysical hygiene with all my youtube consumption i discovered the darknet i had tried adderall a couple times and loved it after reading a bunch of adderall cured my depression stories i said fck it i had a thousand bucks in my debit and bought ten  pillsit went really fast started with  to play counterstrike with a couple online friends i have made me feel like how i used to happy confident and focused my anxiety disappeared an incredible feeling to have the relief of no anxiety when you experience it chronically the  went quickly and next i bought then dosage quickly escalated to  at which point i read that snorting it gives more of a punch of euphoria what i didnt read was that it made abusing the drug a lot easier comedowns were awful also read about xanax for the comedown so i bought a bunch of it holy shit i could get high and still sleep like a rock pefect right no xanax is super addicting in itself and just enables adderall abuse perfectlyi wasnt getting the same high so i increased the dose at its worst i was doing  per day i was losing weight rapidly i wasnt sleeping my mouth was always chafed and my lips always chapped my back hurt from sitting in the same place for  hours i was malnourished and dehydratedi lost a few iq points during this time from my depression and abuse my mental decline manifested as the following losing quick and proficient use of english  slurringstuttering forgetting definitions poor sentence structure and grammar skills losing train of thought half way through a sentence inability to focus high or sober  cant read and understand information as easily hard to explain but i didnt grasp things like i did before my drug use so it was harder to learn new things id read sentences out of order meaning that when trying to understand a sentence id jumble the words up i couldnt analyze situations well in csgo and my aimmotor skills were impaired my talent in the game is kind of like a bench mark for me since ive played so much of it sad but true poor memory  couldnt remember what i ate for breakfast or details about nearly anything very foggy and depressing feeling mood swings  ill have times where i feel on top of the world then have an anxiety attack an hour laterim sure there are some others that i cant think of right now but overall i was rartedi kept raising the dose until after a bender of  days of no sleep or food i started going crazy literal psychosis cant hold a train of thought for more than a second or two loud audio hallucinations delusional thoughts i made a decision to be done and vowed to never touch it again during the course of  weeks i went from  to  my teeth were slowly rotting i was hurting my back by playing video games for  hours at a time and had given myself some sort of brain damagethen a week of sleeping  per day and stuffing my mouth i was a different person after my abuse at  i had almost no sex drive thought about killing myself everyday but i never would my dopamine system was fcked when i wasnt having an anxiety attack i felt cold and even more alone i wasnt just a troubled teenager with rough luck anymore i was a drug abuser and loser on my own volition i snorted drugs until i hallucinated i wasnt a football player and no mental gymnastics could make me oneby this time my senior year was starting i was incredibly fragile i looked like a ghoul i looked like a meth head pale skinny yellowing teeth super anxious people were almost scared by what i looked like my new anxious personality didnt help either i couldnt take going to school and seeing my old teammates and friends every day i took the easy way out and stopped showing up again thankfully my school has an onlineathome program that lets you take a few select courses at home and all you had to do was show up twice a week for two hours to collect and grade work my counselor transferred me in and i had a sober semester i was still depressed but i found some motivation to work out and run a few times a week i got up to respectable  although i wasnt doing any olympic lifts i want to play football againthe thing is ive been going crazy doing nothing all day i have no self respect and im getting dumber and dumber as time goes by the brain is a muscle that im not usingim supposed to transfer back to regular high school in a few weeks slowly i started talking to my friends again and my buddy max offered to sell me a ton of his adderall script for next to nothing i hesitated but bought it anyway   pills i have plenty of time to kill so i take one i quickly realize my tolerance is huge i feel it but not much of it the tiny bit of mental clarity snatched me and i snorted half a pill it was a great time i felt like a human again a little dopamine but not high i enjoyed so much feeling something besides nothing again it helped to perform better than i have in months on my csgo team its embarrassing to say but if im being honest i put more effort into csgo than anything else right now it was my only social life for a whilei abused them ive snorted  pills over the past  days trying to get high ive slept  hours in the past  and im coming down right now im already rationalizing doing more without sleeping im not strongly dysphoric right now a little anxious but mostly just disappointed im pissed at myself for relapsing im pissed at myself for wasting a year of my life with depression and drug abuse im pissed for hurting my brain i willingly forgot about what my abuse did to mei was an honors student athlete with friends until i wasnt i just threw away the rest of the pills i wish i had more self control but i dont think i do i saw the same happen to my older brother right infront of me but he didnt throw them awaywhile i did relapse everything is okay im not going to act neurotic or irrationally i just turned  and can deal with it im alright and still on track to graduate im still going back to normal highschool and once i start functioning and using my brain throughout the day again ill be happy and have clarity of thoughtthis is took a couple hours to write and i kept rewriting things sorry if i repeated myself a lot or it sounds like an adderall comedown rant with pretentious vocab it kind of is this was really more for myself but i would really appreciate any anecdotes or advice from you guys,3.0
32473,what do i wanna make for food ,2.0
32474,laubow my friends have started calling me casper ,2.0
32475,back  act  ,0.0
32476,im sick   bring me soup,2.0
32477,tinytwitter did fail me on blackberry today kept throwing logon errors and unable to tweet  need to check software,2.0
32478,chavist it was drizzly although the sun did come out and i checked out a few lamborghinis overall a very good day ,0.0
32479,thelofiqueen  colbyroark aw poor guy thats really sad alexa play despacito ,2.0
32480,econ exam is over the lakers lost and i am off to the gym  its a good day ,0.0
32481,theunsilent no                                               mental fitness testing             hand over ,1.0
32482,boss is mad about me not going in to work on sunday  counts    to do  me no life for the next  days ,2.0
32483,im mad this dang thing wont let me change my pic ,2.0
32484,argh i need my hair redyed my regroth looks so shit ,2.0
32485,how i see things depressed people are just normal people intelligent enough to see the glaring flaws in life the rest of the world seems blind too we realise humanity wont change and theres no point in its parasitic existence,3.0
32486,cinnamonlizzie were wishing the same wish  bestie i think you and me will still at the same service yeyyou know its a looong case,0.0
32487,cassieventura omgs your like so bomb  your really pretty i love your new hair cut ,0.0
32488,rerunaway follow me  ,0.0
32489,age perception is so funny  lol my mom was old at  she became a grandparent and was even older lol at  i sometimes feel old,0.0
32490,nayzek sorry would love to but i have to head back to the office for the report i told u about  u guys have fun thx for the invite ,2.0
32491,tanmoydas was reading novel really cool one ,0.0
32492,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
32493,will this feeling end hiya folks enjoy my novel its all  began last year an hour before my  birthday i decide to take a bath and play some minecraft not even  minutes later i get a call from a number i didnt recognize something told me to answer never thought id get this call from my grandmothers hospice nurse saying she has taken a turn for the worst this is my first death ive ever dealt with and it was the woman that i cared most about right before my birthday i remember in high school on my way to school id sit there sometimes and think  ill never be the same when she dies i live an hour away i rush and pick up my mom and drive as fast as i could to the nursing home she was in we got there just in time she passed minutes later im glad i was there because that woman loved the shit out of me i couldnt bare knowing she passed with no family there then i had to plan her funeral it was odd cause i was okay but emotions always came in wavesi couldnt go to sleep without just thinking about her and crying  it was a rough month mothers day came around first one with out her my dad mom and brother all got together and had a grill out to celebrate we called it a day and went home as soon as i get home i get all call from my brother my mom went home and found my grandfather dead shot himself in the head  deaths in  month  grandmother is my dads mom my grandfather is my moms dad so i rush back again to find my mom just screaming outside crying it was tragic for her for everyone he didnt leave a note no one knows why he did what he did it will haunt us forever my life went down hill from there ive become angry and sad and just dont want to do anything which caused my to gain  pounds i soon after got a therapist because i was hurting my  year long relationship i just didnt want to be broken anymore my therapist wasnt a match for me asked to many questions like weird questions that made me frustrated to answer because i never have been able to comprehend things like anyone else so i stopped i wake up every morning not wanting to work i have days where i just wish i didnt exist because i really dont like the way the system worksand people  going to school to get into college going to college to get a job getting a job to support yourself then retiring and dying  years lateri could be having a great day and  small little thing like a driver cutting me off to ruin it where i just am angry for the rest of the day i also wish i appreciated the stuff i had more im  with a good paying job with a nice car and an amazing boyfriend i just feel like im stuck in a never ending loop and somedays i just cry and shake for like  minutes then can go about my day like it never happened i have trauma as a kid from my dad who would get drunk a rage for the whole night and id have to stay up and protect my grandmother i have so much more but i feel like im kind of everywhere with all of this so now i sit here trying to find books that are interesting to help me with what im going through i know i need a therapist but my procrastination kicks in and i just dont im also trying to find hobbies to do to see if that can help anything ive always loved music singing i want to make a little studio out of a closet and just write and create now i just have to get there  if you took the time to read this thank you i dont really have friends so having someone else listen is nice youre great ,3.0
32494,im so sad keep strong oppa army always support you,0.0
32495,saturday school blows but at least i got those tests out of the way ,0.0
32496,rt  bdsm stands for bitch i am so d sadm,1.0
32497,my neck hurts so bad ,2.0
32498,has three weeks of no workoh the poverty ,2.0
32499,being in quarantine made me depressed even more ive been suffering from depressioni havent been taking care of myself and my boyfriend  has finally had it and asked for a break to find ourselves again and be better for each other i was crushed when he proposed this to me but in the end i agreed because i really do love himbefore this covid thing my depression was manageable there were bad days but i got through it easily its been  weeks now and so far i made no progress with myself i just feel more and more depressed as the day goes by its really hard and im trying my best to set my mind in the right pathive been struggling on so much extreme body insecurity leading to my eating disorder academic struggles overthinking about the future insomnia and im honestly being overwhelmed so much its getting heavier and heavier on my back carrying all of these struggles that i haveweek  i received a gift ingame from my boyfriend with a message i love you no matter what and love yourself first before loving someone else and this alone made me cry because i needed it so much i needed to feel validated i needed to feel loved because ive been hating myself for so long now there was finally weight lifted off mei just want this thing to be over with i want to heal but i feel like i cant theres so much weight in my back and i feel like its going to get heavier as time passes by when i feel like im back up at my feet again the next thing i know after taking a step im being dragged down deeper in a pit by depression,3.0
32500,ugh time for work im sooooo tired though ,2.0
32501,pfff rearanging database ,2.0
32502,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
32503,im chillin at home bored off my ass looking at the weather outside think im going to get soaked when i go to work ,2.0
32504, ok that would be great thanks i cant wait until my first visit to liverpool ,0.0
32505,home about to put on some jams im not tired but i am lonely  tonight was amazing ,0.0
32506,i start school in  days and im sad  happy,1.0
32507,today was one of the worst days ever im heartbroken 💔and then i watched the oitnb finale and now i am crying my ,2.0
32508,natalietran someone needs a hug from the vodka fairyyou know who else doesyour mum   love ya nat,0.0
32509,taking a break from social media for the month of august its  far too painful to look back at this month yes ,1.0
32510,pix selfconfidence should do it  in any case the job market seems to be better than half a year ago if you want a job youll get it,0.0
32511,fallenstar most certainly dear ,0.0
32512,hello world its my birthday dunno if anyone will see this but yeah its the  of march im  now my family wished me and my friends wished me and google wished me so i suppose all the important wishes are covered i dont feel very happy actually i think im going to shower soon because i feel a little bit like crying its not fair  i shouldnt still be so despairing and empty and tired on my own birthday of all days but there you go heres to hoping things improve for me this year and i live to twenty if anyone else shares a birthday with me then happy birthday to you too friend im always thinking of us  people,3.0
32513, im not drunk lol i drove couldnt drink like i wanted  i only had  an im not a light weight ,2.0
32514,rt  update good temp n sad,1.0
32515,ohmycookie oh and that shes in my prayers ,0.0
32516,i do not exist im completely invisible to everyonea complete husk of a human being weak in ever aspect a living error,3.0
32517,revising for exams not fun have no idea what im doing ,2.0
32518,ok im gonna try to go to bed night twitterverseand rememberbe yourself no matter how goofy weird or mentally special u are  peace,0.0
32519,good morning last day off till monday  ,2.0
32520,so depressed really miss    but sal you cheered me up this mornin and guess what i downloaded fast car  hahah xx,2.0
32521,i cant seem to go on with life anymore this life is meaninglessbeing fat ugly and stupid ive felt this way all of my life i could never have friends and people always hated me immediately i believe this is the reason for my shyness ive been shy all my life and now that i am in my mid twenties and working ive found that being shy is a burden and a curse ive let people bully me all my life ive let people tell me what they think of my without even hearing my side of the story i listen more than i talk and the world seems to not understand me when i talk im not beautiful or smart so there really is no value to me its common to say that beauty is on the inside but i find it hard to believe that anyone will ever see that my coworkers torment me with being fakenice theyve bullied me since day  its been a year now at my job and i cant bear to be here any longer i work in a department surrounded by young fakenice aggressive women that are overly nice to everyone else and jerks to me no one will ever see what i see at work and no one will ever understand me in the real world it hurts because i find people in similar situations as me online i wish i could be skinny and pretty like my female coworkers but no matter how hard i try i cant seem to lose the weight i cant erase my undesirable asian appearances wide face flat nose  i watch a lot of jordan peterson videos and self help videos to help me find my happiness and be a better and stronger person however i cant seem to be strong on my own please someone out there i hope you can give advice or share your own experiences of feeling comfortable in your own skin people on the real world are so cruel ive tried to have compassion helping those in need such as helping an total stranger who is a graduate in my field to find a job only for her to also be rude and terrible to me at work i just wish i could be beautiful or at least pretty please god make me beautiful or pretty so i can live a normal life i havent hurt anyone ive given all i can and all i get is a slap in the face is it because i am ugly and fat i cant do this anymore i can live a life like this is it bad karma i need peace of mind work is terrible because of the people and my inability to gain the work experience to get my professional license im given work no one in the team wants to do and my only choice to leave and take a chance somewhere else this is the lowest ive ever beeni need to get out of that place i need help i need to find happiness i need to be free i need to get rid of this cursei dont know what to do anymore i feel helplessthank you for seeing this post please share your thoughts and advice,3.0
32522, minutes till i walk in the door  yaaaaay,0.0
32523,mcfaul so i think now we are like in the robber barongilded age predepression but the way the gop is trying to ,1.0
32524,what the hughjackman was here  i will cry im sad ,2.0
32525,danecook just left there for tonightthanks for support ,0.0
32526, constant depression and anxiety because of stutterblocks amp feel hopeless literally had a good life with straight s for girlfriends and great friends that i still kinda have and could talk to anybody or any girl with a good deal of confidence or even give presentations in school without anxiety or speech impediment  but somehow within the last two years my speech has detoriated to the point where i dont even want to leave my bed at all because the anxiety is so bad  nothing really gives me joy because i cant fucking communicate without sounding like im retarded or straining to get a sentence out  and im just constantly ruminating over every interaction and scared that this is gonna be the rest of my life i could kind of hide my stutteranxietydepression for that last two years since it started because i didnt really do much and worked landscaping all day  but now im being constantly pressured to get a job by everyone i know and i have no excuse other than im absolutely terrified for another interview or any interaction with anyone for that matter  and i have been beating myself up amp living in the past for so damn long that i really dont know how to get back to feeling like myself or if i will ever have a girlfriend again or a job or a life that is even like  better than it is literally have met no one with this problem and literally no one understands what im going through but my mom since i broke down and told her last week how ive been feeling all this time   and she is  the only person that i can talk to openly with my stutter as im so ashamed and depressed with myself as of late just feeling really really stuck and have had suicidal thoughts floating around my head this past month but have never tried and dont think i really will ive literally tried so hard to be positive and just live with it but its just so hard seeing literally everyone share ideas and tell jokes and connect and go out when i cant tell a genuine joke or story without getting stuck somewhere along the line i never used to be like this or feel like this i was the complete opposite of the person im explaining in high school and lately ive been getting texts and calls from people and girls to reconnect but i know i cant fucking talk so i guess ill just avoid them it just seems like life is harder for me idk and i genuinely dont like pitying myself believe it or not lol  hope things get better for me and anyone else out their that is suffering with a similar experience,3.0
32527,i feel like giving up im trying my hardest at life and it seems like i keep getting rear ended i moved to a new city jacksonville fl my parents havent spoken to me since i came up here so i can work because i wasnt getting hired back in my hometown i moved in with the love of my life i should be happy right good job girlfriend i have my health ive been going to a gym recently to see if itll stop all the noise its not seems like if i try to do anything proactive the noise gets louder it keeps getting louder im a vet so i signed up for counsel services it cant come fast enough ive also thought about taking antidepression  i think its called welbution tbh im just venting right now,3.0
32528,rt impactadhd these unexpected things help people struggling with anxiety relax httpstcollvandczuz ,1.0
32529,rt ladruggie me to me bitch you stress me out 😂,2.0
32530,buckling downready to study  chapters damn you abnormal psych ,2.0
32531, love you geoff will miss you ,0.0
32532,hearing the news makes me so sad i cant imagine what he must be feeling,1.0
32533,i truly dont have anyone to talk to i am posting this out of desperation i dont know what else to do i recently moved to a new place with my husband and i dont know anyone here my parents live here but are currently on a trip out of the country i dont have any friends and my family isnt close at all my husband has been emotionally abusive almost the whole time we have been together i didnt realize it until about a year ago we just had a terrible fight that ended in him calling me a stupid bitch and leaving i am feeling so bad that i feel like im going to explode but i have absolutely no one to talk to i keep wishing i could talk to him and have him hold me and then i just feel even worse i dont know what to do i struggle with depression and anxiety and i am feeling scared ,3.0
32534,on my way  workaint ate nuthin ,2.0
32535,reading an englihs book for once cause its only thing i can really do ,2.0
32536,yay alexagallardo got me a video from zach ,0.0
32537,excited about spending another funfilled day with my bfff tomorrow ,0.0
32538,valenvaldez oh thats good to hear  but is it over already or youll continue it after the holy week,0.0
32539,i thought i had it under control finally had a positive life and sustained it for a glorious  months with plenty of depressive episodes before it came back and now im so scared those  months were playing catchup on the last  years and now i feel ill lose all of that miniscule progressfucking hell,3.0
32540,creationsbyeve i know how you feel  happened to me last week  on the bright side  our hair grows  so will be better soon ,0.0
32541,waiting ,2.0
32542,rt  im at a horrible scene in astoria  dead preliminary information suggests murdersuicide one of the victims is a ,2.0
32543,my anxiety is through the roof rn 🙃,2.0
32544,djspizzle but i think this need hands on work  ,2.0
32545,bed  hopefully lunchshopping with mom then finally back to morgantown ,0.0
32546,still ill took day off school and i have a major blocked nose  x,2.0
32547,coldgamekelv im in depression cause we couldnt get a pic with him  httpstcoyyerglbmyy,2.0
32548,please vote  you have one day to vote ,0.0
32549,fareforward   do you need to go on a bike ride,2.0
32550, i loved your shock collar post  im working w a dog right now that was shocked bite level  now no bites before ,2.0
32551,dont click this link  ,0.0
32552,vforivan owie  i had an operation in my mouth a few weeks ago tis painful yesh,2.0
32553,odawno  tried to change my picture and now it wont save they arequotworking on it  since april  ,0.0
32554,i am in tears ian left the cab nooooo ,2.0
32555,the soul eater anime was big in the long lost era of extremely high quality amvs which is sad because theres no nor ,2.0
32556,rt  fromsodak ive witnessed it quite sad fucking guys think soy shakes are a meal eat some fucking red meat and grow,1.0
32557,glitteranddoom of course  ill bake you cakes all the time ,0.0
32558,alyssabarlow have a great time at spirit west coast sooo wish i could go ,2.0
32559,girlincyber  happy birthday   ,0.0
32560,wow okay so im blonde yay no pics though  due to the no of the phone youll just have to wait  weeks maybeoh and another thing,2.0
32561,slow monday at the donut shop ,2.0
32562,its still friday on the west coast follow my girl kitcath shes sweet i almost feel like im corrupting heralmost ,0.0
32563,the pool is the best ,0.0
32564,christabelsmm nice  too bad i dont have em on my mac ,2.0
32565,thedannynoriega danny i miss your messages ,2.0
32566,msamayoa i miss my  connection ,2.0
32567,ljnada awww poor thing you gotta hate assignments  sooo glad i dont do that anymore,2.0
32568,audrinaaa hungry subwaysubwaaaay suuuuuuuuuuubwaaaaay ,2.0
32569, through a very long day at work ,2.0
32570,im in bed poorly ,2.0
32571,crystalmethod you guys totally blew me away tonight portland thanks you ,0.0
32572, i got exam tomorow that i cant be bothered to revise for  i just wana read my book now whos not updating their blog eh,2.0
32573,funbrunette yes girlie thank you they took the profile down the only thing that is left is it still shows up in the search ,2.0
32574,good night morning twitts and twivas till morn mssugakane needs prayer   u fall asleep just ask fa food fa my friend ,0.0
32575,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
32576,an accidental leap i have been depressed for basically as long as i can remember i told myself just wait for your grandmother to pass naturally and then decide if i want to do anything drastic grandmother basically raised me and i might give her a heart attack if she heard i was dead especially by suicide but i fucked up big time on top of my already lack of will to live i am now facing years in prison for crimes committed only due to my terrible mental state drug use i hurt nobody and was not a burden paid for my own habits i honestly could hardly handle being alive out here in the free world and now i feel like i have to just end it before i get sentenced to years behind bars i read others having genuine issues with life and totally understand having this added layer is so overwhelmingly crushing and devastating i cant think sleep eat or function i barely manage to work i have nothing left to live for utterly and completely how can i possibly manage to overcome this thanks for reading,3.0
32577,theisaofoz tumblrss fun  but i dont have one id stick to my bloggah,0.0
32578,  at my god sis goin away party she leaving for the navy ,2.0
32579,i want to die im underage and my parents are very christian and they force me to go to church not that unusual or terrible i know but if i dont go then they take away the activity i love the most the only thing thats kept me from killing myself they take it away until i go to church the next chance i get i need therapy but i dont know how to get my parents to get me a non religiousunbiased therapist the church and the way my parents deal with me not believing is part of the reason i want to die awhile ago when i told them they dismissed it and said its not true that everything is all in my head i hate being home whenever im out of my house i avoid going back for as long as possible my relationship with my parents is increasingly unhealthy because of all this i wish i could live somewhere elsei want to live but this is complete torture and i dont know how much more i can take,3.0
32580,ugh show today  i dont wanna dooo it,2.0
32581,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
32582,is ready for the day no matter what she hears mmmm pilates does a body good ,0.0
32583,random depression and high anxiety at least is that it makes you more creative and less dependent on each other th ,1.0
32584,went to church ate taco bell and only a couple hours till i get my hair done super excited ,0.0
32585,rt tripleh incredibly sad news about the passing of brian christopher a tragic loss of life both stephmcmahon and i are thinking of je,2.0
32586,there are bunnies running and playing and chasing each other in my backyard so i guess i dont have depression anymore,2.0
32587,sushirockstar blogtv is sucking on my computer  boo,2.0
32588,enjaysauce then how would i upload from an sd card ,2.0
32589,ive been off the krispy kremes for over a year but today i might just have a relapse  lol,2.0
32590,chrisyoungken cool p lol enjoy the rest off your day ,0.0
32591,is soooo disappointed with mkhmpf ,2.0
32592,the terra bite book is officially mine ,0.0
32593,pouring outside watching videos from bamboozle wish i could go ,2.0
32594,teresamorrow im doing really good  email me what your schedule is like this coming week so we can set a time to chat ,0.0
32595,is gutted that miley is touring on her bday but its not in the uk ,2.0
32596,my dad slapping me made everything worse for reference im  and things have been rough since i was  ive self harmed before but nothing extremely major two days ago i went on a walk with my friend and didnt tell my parents because i though my older sister  was home she was at work i was gone for about an hour and a half my dad called me and told me i needed to get home now i was home within  minutes and my friend got picked up by her brother parents lectured me and then told me to eat dinner and clean my dogs kennel i set my plate down on the table and went to put dinner away as everyone else had already eaten my dog  month old bloodhound jumped up and took half of my dinner i yelled at her and my dad came out of his room to see what happened everything after that is blurry and i dont remember what happened but he ended up sitting my down and pulling a chair in front of me and yelling at me i was upset so i wasnt fully responding mostly saying yeah to all of his questions he slapped me hes never hit me before other than spanking me when i was little if i was bad he hasnt hit me since i was probably  my mom called me a disrespectful little shit i was in shock and immediately started crying and felt my lip bleeding on the inside i must have bit it he gave me a tissue and told me i was fine i was in hysterics crying and it was hard to breathe i get really anxious when talking to him anyway and i felt like i couldnt breathe after a while he asked if i was okay and i said okay you just slapped me and my mom blew up saying to ask her parents how much they slapped her as my dads parents how much they slapped him i just cried more after that everything is blurry again until he apologized and said he loved me and hugged me all i could muster was love you too before i ran up to my room and cried for another  minutes my lip was bruised and i could still taste the bloodim sorry this is so long i just need to vent because ive been really unstable since it happenedtldr two days ago my dad slapped me told me to stop crying and my mom called me a disrespectful little shit ive felt terrible since and needed to get this out,3.0
32597,complicatedmama louyoungny if you need help with the hebrew give a holler  i see youre a local  im in scarsdale  ,0.0
32598,razsolo book me in i have been thinking of mr manson all weekend  game on,0.0
32599,waiting for raimis new horror flick drag me to hell im really excited for this too bad its not in amcmain in kc ,2.0
32600,i just want to give up nothing is going alright everything is slow crumbling it seems like there is no solution to fix the problems i honestly hate everything and even myself i just dont see a purpose to living,3.0
32601,im not too excited to go to university for a long time my biggest dream has been to go to university recently i have been accepted to one and will go there next fall however now that my dream is about to become true i just dont feel much i dont feel accomplished i dont feel motivated i thought that the day i would receive the acceptance letter it would be one of the happiest days of my life however when i received it i was just like oh cool whatever my family sees it as a thing to celebrate since almost no one in my family made it to university but i cannot see it that way if anything i can already tell that when i move to the dorms thats where im spending most of my nonlecture time rarely going out kind of what im currently used to,3.0
32602,essiewb of course essie the swine flu masks were meant to be funny or a joke not a real medical life saving device ,0.0
32603,rt septicnjh please retweet for anyone who may need it i saw this on tumblr and i cant stress this enough how important this is to not,1.0
32604,bishops lost to paul roos wow that sucks lol ,0.0
32605,im never this bored on a full moon ,2.0
32606,benreeves it was incredible best laugh ive had in a long time ,0.0
32607,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
32608,missing my flight to  mia ,2.0
32609, hrs to go   bored now,2.0
32610,marcfernandezzz you lie she didnt solve it and you people suck why wasnt i invited  lol jk,2.0
32611,drove my car for the first time in  months  frig off major depressive disorder one more battle won to win the war,3.0
32612,spotify doesnt work in singapore  why not,2.0
32613,good walk not going to work todayno bears on set i was told would stay with punkrockblue but i cry a lot wo mom amp dad sep anxiety ,2.0
32614,when freddie mercury said mama i dont want to diesometimes wish id never been born at alli felt it,3.0
32615,nspirit wow i am so sorry to hear that ,2.0
32616,i cant function as a normal human being all i want in my life right now is not even to be happy but to just be able to wake up in the morning and actually do the things i need to do some days i feel really on top of it today is not that day im finding it nearly impossible to do any of the things that i need to do and even though it just makes me feel worse i cant manage to find the motivation to do anything but sit in my living room and watch netflix all day i havent showered or even changed my clothes in like  days and i havent done laundry in weeks so i dont really even have clean clothes to put on ive been missing school im in a trade program where i have to complete a certain amount of hours so im super behind i just feel like a complete failure and i dont know how to make myself get up and do stuff or find motivation open to any sort of advice you guys can give me,3.0
32617,weeee  good deed for my  pamangkin jea ,0.0
32618,going to bed then driving  hours again to get home ,2.0
32619,friend so what do i do if i have a really depressed and suicidal friend who i feel should get help but she says that her school counselor hates her is there anywhere else i can suggest she go to is there anything i can do,3.0
32620,my dad had to explain to me that high school parties are a real thing i graduated  years ago and i genuinely thought high school parties were only from tv because i was never invited to or told about one im not going to college either so to my knowledge college parties dont exist either i was going to commuter college but dropped out i cant afford to go back for the forseeable future either social isolation is really doin it to me,3.0
32621,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
32622,not happy that they went to go see dane cook w out me stinky outside  and i just woke up haha,2.0
32623,havenward heeeee i do try  ,0.0
32624,sherylbreuker kencamp glad you two are around ,0.0
32625,mallikala mallika u r not even bothering to reply to poor me boo hoo  love u lots,2.0
32626,ka sad sa story,2.0
32627,u pretend u dont know bout zaks either ring me ,0.0
32628,playradioplay yay for coming back to dallas  amp lolzzz at your last post,0.0
32629,totally forgot it nintendos press event at  today will be tuning in at  gmt also left  dead  news makes me happy ,0.0
32630,ainante  no punching baby seals please im sorry you were in a bad mood ,2.0
32631,do you think my cousin is schizophrenic or depressed and lonely my cousin grew up without a father her father is a deadbeat who left her mom when she was  months old and wanted nothing to do with her my cousin is  her mom got married to her step father when she was  her stepfather is a verbally abusive narcissist who my cousin has never gotten along with my mom her aunt would always watch her when she was little because her mom was busy with school and work she gets along with her mom now my mom has always been obsessed with a  singer whos still making music today my cousin was heavily influenced by this guy at a very young age due to my mother she was taken to various concerts backstage passes watched his trl interviews watched him on tv all the time yadda yadda so my cousin has always had admiration to this guy growing up her current wall in her room is an entire shrine to this guy she has huge fan account on instagram that the guy has interacted with her on shes gotten interacted with him at recent concerts and selfies when we go on trips she brings her laptop which is several tabs opened with just pictures of this guy on there watching us i remember after we went to his concert about a year ago we went back to the hotel and she opened up the laptop and was talking about how great the concert was and had it staring at her while she sleeps a recent trip i went on she brought the laptop yet againto have his pictures stare at us i believe she talks to his pictures to this very day when shes by herself  my aunt said when she was younger she caught her talking to the pictures of him she used to put in dvd cases and sleep with or have them propped up against the wall she doesnt have dvd cases with his pictures anymore recently she saw a picture of him with his own child he only has one and the kid is a toddler and she started crying i asked her why she was crying and she seemed embarrassed and didnt want to answer my aunt said she used to call the pictures of this guy daddy when she was little in her sleep  she doesnt really have friends and has massive social anxiety she does see a therapist but i dont think shes ever brought up the pictures or anything but im not sure i know she cant fall asleep without the pictures looking at her,3.0
32632,rt  hallelujah ,0.0
32633,im feeling the stress of the school year as i try to read two summer reading books before school starts in  days,2.0
32634,rt dril the games theyre putting out these dsys damn theyre so good that you never even see gamers with depression anymore,0.0
32635,celebrating victoria day ,0.0
32636,到現在還是等不到艾亞哥水鏡ㄉ前世（？）很sad，還是其實有公開過只是我不知道😭,0.0
32637,antifolk theres an article i found that says for each day you log onto facebook during revision your average marks fall by a percent ,0.0
32638,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
32639,me sale un cuadrado sad,2.0
32640,angeliatay the weather is just awesome for that lah ,2.0
32641,timnunn eek who said bunnies where cute  hey what has she directed  anything i would know,0.0
32642,rt thefunnyvine my depression talking to my happiness ,1.0
32643,grumpypuffin mom just told me to do the sunshine thing too behaving like a brat terrible mood neurologist doesnt work on fridays ,2.0
32644,weee im getting  tshirts from threadless ,0.0
32645,lilyroseallen i wish i was in south africa too  i miss my home town,2.0
32646,my bay finally got me on hereand the fun begins ,0.0
32647, hi meany ,0.0
32648,i was just wondering if any of you take extra dose of prescription pilla from your doctors it seem like i have been taking it everytime just to make myself feel better it is like trying to feel something after taking the pills i am like randomly taking the pills and not exactly following the required doses because of this my meds sometimes run out fast i am guility of speaking to the doctor about this i cant follow the required doses i feel like i just need to take the extra to feel better ,3.0
32649,iphonefail but im already dependent ,2.0
32650,all i want is to be okay again im  years old and for all  years i was happy outgoing confident person a little more than a month ago my long time girlfriend broke up with me i havent been the same since i feel like a burden to everybody i talk to i have problems communicating my feelings im in constant pain ive spent nights begging god to either take away the pain or kill me because i cant keep feeling like this i dont think i have any kind of mental illness so im sorry if im posting on the wrong platform but this is the only place i felt like i could speak and not care what people thought about what i said all i want is to get back to the person i used to be im tired of being in pain any advice anyone has to offer would be appreciated because im out of answers,3.0
32651,petshopboys  is there no black ones without the bling ,2.0
32652,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
32653,not going to school im really sick ,2.0
32654,i love winning the verbal battle with a ccustomer service agent even more wen im right  i fought the law and i won,0.0
32655,peterfacinelli just haning out with some friends  i hope your family has a great weekend ,0.0
32656,has had  of the worst days ever stupid machine ate my parking ticket n i then break a nail in the process which i only had fixed last wk ,2.0
32657, seeeee son bakanosas ,0.0
32658,driadon eventually well play games again ,2.0
32659,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
32660,can not wait to go on holiday will miss him though ,2.0
32661,rt rgay not being able to eat my feelings makes me so sad every single day,1.0
32662,didnt manage to recover from yesterdays ride ,2.0
32663,hmmm i want some pink lemonade ,0.0
32664,celtspen absolutely you can have your pick of english breakfast or strawberry tea ,0.0
32665,theres nothing left my dad treats me right out of pity my mom yelled at me for being a disappointment then didnt talk to me since my siblings hate me i have  friends i have to text my online friends first point is nobody is there for me nobody cares about me and ill be lonely the rest of my life i never had anything ill never have anything so why should i make others like my parents suffer when i can just end it all,3.0
32666,awww drunks and alone  i wish girlfriend was here to keep me company,2.0
32667,nathalieplease online ,2.0
32668,i feel so sad for  i hope he and his family take the time they need to heal and they will be in my prayers pls d ,1.0
32669, loads of recycling cut grass weeded and washing off to do ironing now  hope something decent on telly  better wrap pressies ,2.0
32670,jdecar ciaoobelllaxo coming from a person who just hides behind a scream its sad that you obviously made an ac ,2.0
32671,help needed im gonna delete this when its answered i know this sounds stupid but a while back i tried to sniff glue off of some tutorial i seen now i use it regularly supossedly it gets you high but it doesmlnt have that much effect on me other than calming me down but j crave more of that relief so i went to drinking a bit regretted that any easy ways out something to scratch that itchyeah im young dont throw a tantrum,3.0
32672,studying at uni when im supposed to be in hollydays ,2.0
32673,chrisendencia wednesday but if exempted ako sa finals tuesday  thursday pwede ,0.0
32674,jordanknight i cant wait til june  detroit  star  i hope you remember me from the cruise,0.0
32675,glasses to contact lenses yaaaaaaaaay yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ,0.0
32676,two exams down   more to go though  ,0.0
32677,im at work ,2.0
32678,tygodwin sundance has a  am on sunday for  buckswould be kinda cool  literally   if not there id like to play coyote,0.0
32679,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
32680,about  pull the plug big day tomorrow to all a good night ,0.0
32681,na sa halip palawakin pag iisip mo lalo nilang pinakikitid — sad ,1.0
32682,  only took a wk  get mah flat pac bac ,0.0
32683,lifes great when so i just got home from an evening at the rents the best way to describe my feelings is by doing a fat line of mandy to brighten up the eveningnow dont get me wrong my parents are some of the best people you would ever meet in your life but this is just the way ive always done things so hey ho heres to another friday night,3.0
32684,lifeisawesome i dont think your link is working ,2.0
32685,milagirll  thx been wanting to see quotu r my sunshinequot but ended up watching quothappinessquot boy oh boy hwang jung min  hot ahjussilol,0.0
32686,at work looking forward to a hot weekend ,0.0
32687,today is the first of june so its going to be the next  days ,0.0
32688, my sisters keeper its a book  reading back on the robo now ,0.0
32689,i hate the rain   ,2.0
32690,how to help a suicidal friend across the country from me so i personally am not depressed but one of my best friends who i have known for years is about a week or two ago he told me that his depression has gotten worse and he attempted suicide and i talked with him about it hoping it would make him feel better but i feel like i didnt do much he is thankfully still here but i am beginning to worry for him me being west coast and him being east coast i dont really know what else i can do other than talk with him about his problems is there anything else i can do if i fear he may take his own life,3.0
32691,has anyone ever tried lamotrigine lamictal for depression ive been offered lamotrigine lamictal as ive been on many different antidepressants and they havent worked for me and im curious as to what peoples experiences are ive looked at other posts before though they were directed at epilepsy not depression and they mention things like poor concentration hair loss and brain fog all of which sound awful im pretty desperate for something to help and i am curious as to if youve tried it and how you went on it thanks,3.0
32692, right i can c that  well u already make ur typing sexy before u laid down ,0.0
32693,today has been so long ,2.0
32694,everything you think you know about depression is wrong «if you are depressed and anxious you are not a machine with malfunctioning parts you are a human being with unmet needs the only real way out of our epidemic of despair is for all of us together to begin to meet those human needs – for deep connection to the things that really matter in life»,3.0
32695,rt juniorbplusp niven but there are still too many stories that romanticise suicide and depression stories that tie things up in a neat,2.0
32696,leaving society i feel like waking up everyday and doing the same thing simply not to end up starved to death or homeless is a complete waste of time i want to sell everything and wonder across the land reading and meditating until i eventually die i thought maybe the reason i feel the way i do because i do not work for myself i do not own my labour it is bought maybe if i had my own business and working for myself i wouldnt feel this way but no the human condition is such that i will never feel happy nor fulfilled with what i havethat is why i know that this path leaving society and everything in it is the only probably way of gaining some sort of fulfilment in my existence,3.0
32697,havent seen a sign of timvdl at twitter for days ,2.0
32698,ahhhh heyyy the ftsk show im hoping to go to is freeeeee  anyone seeing them june  ,0.0
32699,rt unusualfactspge sleeping next to someone you love not only reduces depression but it also helps you to live longer and makes you fall,0.0
32700,i hate hayfever has kept me up nearly all nite ,2.0
32701,brandyway is a shame the  chord of my guitar sounds strange ,2.0
32702,rt kgroupconfess  teaser is so good and im sad for people who havent seen it yet so here is it yall welcome ,1.0
32703,volpinator its always been a monthly fee on atampt i think i had to pay to use the builtin one on my winmo phone ,2.0
32704,sad my sister did not her me food from sombrero  im hungry,2.0
32705,introduction of me return of the void helloa little about me to introduce myself i supposeim  from the east coast of the us and have been dealing with mild depression for my entire adult life im married  and my wife puts up with my bs now that shes learned better ways to deal with it at least when i let it showanyway i finally talked to my doctor about it he called it mild depression and prescribed me lexapro that was about   years ago i have a fear of two things spiders and death including ghosts they give me the jibblies the second one has kept me from ever trying to kill myself its never stopped me from feeling absolutely worthless however like nothing i do really matters to anyone or like any time i try to succeed ill just come out worse ugh im wordy anyway i finally got a steady job that i can one day retire from am an active part of my local union and have held onto a  year old youtube channel that i try to stay excited aboutoh and im trying to raise my credit score to get a house so we can get out of a shitty apartmenttldr my intro im just a guy who tries to do good things so he can feel better about himself also i take pillscurrentlyit got me again the pills kept me from seeing the pit of depression i see it as a pit in a dry flat land but i misstepped and fell in its never one single thing it never has been its just that any one thing had the ability to send me thereanyway i was really good at cleaning up my credit but the loan company told me i needed to do a few more to me impossible tasks my paychecks are already stretched to their limits xmas was coming and i was working overtime with high stress levelsthat was two thingsthe big reason were trying to get out is because our landlord told us our kitten had to go she was the only thing that was able to pull my wife out of her misery when our eldest cat died in early summmerthat kitten is staying with a friend of ours and my wife goes there to spend time with her when our friend goes out of town to visit her bf which is about every other weekendwe talked about it and it was supposed to be for the  months it took to clean up my credit its month  now i know if she doesnt spend time with the kitten the kitten may not recognize her as she does now while i have logic and would not forget herthats a third thingthe promotion i was hoping for with a raise that would make it so i dont stretch my paycheck all the way showed up but it was done in a way wherein i couldnt apply for itas this is the third time i tried and failed at it now i need to look at rethinking my entire career plan thats not their rule but whats the point yknowthing number there are more an almost always there headache that started when i got some tooth work done  months ago  an inability to get that taken care of as my insurance was finished i also owe them money because they were halfway through a procedure series when my insurance did run outan argument that ruined my visiting for the weekend cat stay after xmas and  made the worst mistake in my lifetime and im worried about thatand yet i didnt realize i was in the pit of depression until a couple of people at work asked me about it it must be all over my facetldr things happened that made me depressed again and i just realized im that way because other people told me,3.0
32706,rashford wow thats fantastic so you have a realworldvirtualworld mirror career  ,0.0
32707,ok time for bed i try and force myself to go to bed at about  otherwise im inclined to stay up all night so night tweeps ,0.0
32708,just finished washing my caram now officially knackered well it is a  seater ,2.0
32709,its been two days in nainital and i have not eaten momos yet disadvantage of coming  home without my sister i hate eating alone  fb,2.0
32710,randilee i did all my posting last night before bed it was awesome i got up this morning amp had nothing to do ,0.0
32711,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
32712,uchimanelaflare i got the blackberry  not the storm ,2.0
32713,clickjsf magic went through fantastic  nba,0.0
32714,i want to be pennywise the clowwwwnnn ,2.0
32715,they are talking about suju amp their special stage ,0.0
32716,sethsimonds by the way  the people are right  i like the new avatar  still dont use tweetdeck the way you describe though ,0.0
32717,i cant help but feel like a burden this will all sound super extra i was diagnosed with depression around a year ago when i couldnt get myself to move from my bed for days im now being medicated and i have definitely gotten significantly better but theres some things i just cant shake i have a great boyfriend that ive been dating for  years now and hes my rock i have no reason to believe he likes me any less than before he actually even tells me he loves me more everyday though when im away from him i sit and think too much and over analyze everything going on for instance hes currently hanging out with our dnd group while im out of town he tends to leave his phone around and wont respond to me for long periods of time while he hangs out with people and then of course he gives me the awesome details about the time they had and i love that but when im in town and there there always seems to be something coming up when im involved in the plans or my boyfriend will seem very down when im around during hang outs compared to how he describes his time without me i feel like hes gotten somewhat tired of me over time and when i ask him why he doesnt seem super energetic around me sometimes he just says he happens to be tired when i notice hes also started raising his voice at me recently which is totally new for us were not a problematic couple at all and weve never really gotten into any arguments but recently he seems to get really aggravated with me really easy hes a sweet boy and i havent really brought all of my concerns up because i think im just paranoid and overly emotional i know it would sound crazy if i brought it up i just dont know what to do because thinking about stuff like this makes me bawl my head off i over analyze with my close friends too i cant shake the feeling that im the worlds biggest burden and im just kind of tolerated i know this was kind of me venting but i would love if anyone could propose some advice for this im really struggling with something that seems so silly ,3.0
32718,am trying play yovile on facebook but if feels  hard ,2.0
32719,watching harold and kumar get the munchies it is still hilarious ,0.0
32720, still locked out ,2.0
32721,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
32722,cdnmisanthrope hanamarku you know mate i have one rule when it comes to this forum commenting on peoples ment httpstcobvxlkmqznk,1.0
32723,mariroom very cool you are very lucky ,0.0
32724,i like saving money ,0.0
32725,the real  why would jim low follow you  probally for the respect of how you handle your rig,0.0
32726,i dont see the point of living im a  year old female whos been suffering from severe depression for years ive never figured out my purpose of living i go to a college and will soon work and die after working whats the point of life i feel like everyone is just running on a hamster wheel aiming for nothing ive been on and off various meds and they completely drove my drive and ambition  away i have no appetite or sex drive i have no idea what to doshould i continue living this way mentally struggling has exhausted me throughout my whole life,3.0
32727,coping after losing everything i was diagnosed with depression at  years old now i am  i just went through a divorce from a mentally abusive spouse and find myself a single mother of two children i have never felt a low such as this i never anticipated to be in this situation and i am lacking coping mechanisms for it i have little to no adult interaction my friends live far away and have their own lives and dont drive the hour to see me my job is vendorindependent work so i dont have to interact with people except managers of the stores im in the to sign of on my work my territory for work is so large that im driving most or the time which gives me way too much time to think here is what i have concluded there is something broken inside of me yes i have a doctor who i see regularly were trying cocktails of medicines i called the suicide hotline last night after a stressful night trying to get my kids to just cooperate or to get someone to respond to my messages  not necessarily because i want to kill myself i just want to simply stop existing i constantly say to myself i wish i could just disappear off the face of the earthi didnt sleep last night at all and im not tired i dont want my kids to see me like this my bad days i just have to tell them i dont feel very good and they say ok idk what im looking for sorry for being a burden on society,3.0
32728,mssnarkypants i love when you talk to yourself ,0.0
32729,am i the only person here that doesnt have an iphone ,2.0
32730,aw one of our fishies died ,2.0
32731,im bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwling my eyes out ,2.0
32732,misssydneyj you know you my quotyay areaquot crush ,0.0
32733,so tired im almost  and im so exhausted all the time ever since i was even younger i could never sleep my heads foggy all the time i cant think anymore i cant process what people say and i dont even know what to do to fix it anymore ive tried so many things melatonin all your breathing tricks and whatever else the hardest part is my parents wont listen when i say i dont sleep and im tired and i dont want to get up and mom i think im depressed  they dont listen they think its cause you stay up on your phone but my mental state just keeps getting worse and im out of reasons to keep going ,3.0
32734,rt shannonpurser depression sucks im in the middle of it rn i know some of you are too were going to make it,2.0
32735,these new headphones make my piercing hurt ,2.0
32736,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
32737, i was just messin w yall good to hear from u though sir ,0.0
32738,sure do love having clinical depression ,1.0
32739,wiep yes because that usually means they need seo advice ,0.0
32740,alynia ive decided to take on a sci fi novel as my next big project ,0.0
32741,im thinking about kms for the first time in years i just dont know what to do i hate myself rn im not sure i can do what i set out to do i left my home country to follow my dreams i had dreams of doing what im doing now but now i think i cant go through with it i havent completed my goal im so alone i cant even explain it i just think im going to fail fail my life fail my marriage fail everything in  weeks is when things will really start getting crazy and ill be under so much pressure then i will just fail everyone but if i tell my husband i dont want to go through with it he wont understand and everything weve worked for for the last  months will be nothing and well be screwed i hardly have anyone to bounce things off of i cant stand where im living anymore the crime is so bad its making me insane i just cant take it one more minute,3.0
32742,prilicno samouverneo i neosnovano i opasno odjednom sad slusati kinezenaranvo to duze kosovo ostaje nereseno ,2.0
32743,is celebrating her wedding anniversary ,0.0
32744,xnicolekemp ahh that sucks ,2.0
32745, yeah thats really an quotouchquot to selena ,2.0
32746,what to do about endless failure there is a lot in my life that i am grateful for i am healthy and have had the luck to meet a lot of great people in my life i have so many things that so many people on here want but im not happy i am bitter and frustrated by my own limitationsim angry that i am a normal person with all the opportunities in the world but i cant make anything of it simply because i am fucking awful at everything i try thats it thats all i dont have some horrible trauma or insecurity i just suck at everything people just say to be patient and all the basic lines but what about when its been years when i have been working at something not because i even like doing it but just because i want to have something i can be proud of just to still be worse than people who have never tried it in their livesthe notion that people enjoy their hobbies is so crazy to me my hobbies are just my attempts to find something in my life i can say i am remotely decent at i dont enjoy them at all in fact i always walk away from them frustrated and dejected they are where i go to grind myself away with the hopes that my effort will ever turn into anythingi hate myself for wasting my time dicking around on the internet all day but its no wonder i do when everything i want to go out and do in life just turns out to be another humiliating kick in the crotchi just want something that makes me feel good i just want something that doesnt make me feel like a fucking loser i dont want to kill myself i dont want to just sit and rot away doing nothing for the rest of my life i want to do things i want to feel accomplished i want to work and be proud of what i have donei hate getting up and trying just to get nowhere ,3.0
32747,findzara awww im sorry girl  are you feeling better a trip is always good if you can afford it dont hesitate to do you know,2.0
32748,princesspartick wish i was going  hope you have fun laul,2.0
32749, ,0.0
32750,heyyy youre remember we met at  oh you dont remember me  whomppp whompp whomppp ackward hi bye  hahhahha oh well,2.0
32751,do you know whats funny the faces people make at you when you start singing quotdont stop belivinquot in the middle of the street with friends ,0.0
32752,strwbrrybliss yea  but i think he is getting better he had something wrong with his chin,2.0
32753,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
32754,hearing harry sing just a little bit of your heart again would cure my depression,1.0
32755,rt  aameen ,0.0
32756,coffe in bratislava missing vienna  now leaving for saltzburg,2.0
32757,iklash im glad  welcome to the site we love you,0.0
32758,a much needed vegas vaca with the girls  happy birthday katzki,0.0
32759,why is my medication not working okay ill make this as short as possible im currently  years old and take  venlafaxin a day morning and evening at first it pretty much helped me out for a solid  weeks but since then my suicidal thoughts and depression have returned and id even say theyve kicked in even worse than before though my anxiety is pretty much gone any advice ,3.0
32760,mokewon it was i wish ,2.0
32761, so youre a twilighter  have a great day ,0.0
32762,as usual cant sleep ,2.0
32763,penguindice i dont know what this means  i always seem to follow a friday with a saturday how bout you,2.0
32764,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
32765,planning a kickass movienight with my friends tonight ,0.0
32766,nobody really  guess ill have to go on with dolby pl ii then   ,2.0
32767,im recovered but i think im going backwards my parents dont know this and probably wont ever know this but i tried to kill myself  self harm etc when i was  i got treatment for anxiety disorder for years and im doing better with that but never depression who knows maybe i dont even have it im  now and i already feel so drained sometimes life isnt exciting like it used to be i know im not gonna amount to shit in life or achieve anything i want to my fat ugly clingy disgusting self doesnt deserve to take up space and resources for being so cruel to everyone around me im not a good person if theres a hell im going there and it scares me my friends wont miss me and my parents would feel guilty but my sister is better than me anyways so theyd be okay i think my boyfriend would but he deserves better than me i just want everything to go away ,3.0
32768,i just dont understand the intensity of the hate said the man who drove two miles out of his way to verbally ab ,0.0
32769,so for the record it is possible to burn microwaveable country fried steak in the microwave ,2.0
32770,u have no idea how much im dreading next ep ive spent the last few days trying to settle w the fact that a bunch ,1.0
32771,boo i cant donate plasma again until i have another physical of course they dont have any openings tonight  the one day i can go ,2.0
32772,my boyfriend of  years has depression and ive seen him at highest highs and lowest lowshes at the lowest ive seen him and idk what to do this is me doing anything and everything i possibly can to help the man i lovewe have been long distance since we started im on an island in vet school and hes in the us the distance seems to be getting to him more than it used to and our relationship is suffering because of it he has always had a ton of family issues before i was even in the picture and they are overwhelming him to a point that he doesnt smile anymore im here asking others that go through this or are in a relationship and you suffer from depression what can i do to make him feel safe and loved any and all suggestions appreciated i want to do everything i can for himplease help,3.0
32773,elpauloloco hiii i was workingg ,2.0
32774, wanna be in my colab sry if im annoying im bored ,2.0
32775,i am a bored little girl where are my mcguys ,2.0
32776,nutterbutternik thats okay ill live  when i visted boston last year i was overwhelmed how many there were hehehe,0.0
32777,she needed me to hear her pain being heard somehow made it more manageable in my opinion this text is a good insight into what it is like to be the partner of someone who is depressed – and how you can potentially help if youre not sure how to help them,3.0
32778,born from pain bloody dashes pulsing veinthe black and blue tell a storyof pleasure born from painof beauty sprung from sin of my desire within the fire and our flesh intertwined all daybefore you threw me out into the mireeverything belonged to you my body my fearand the nights we would make love you would taste the salt in my tearsand id feel the sweat on your skinwith the force of your bonesyou impaled my heart to sleepand when morning stars awokemy body was nearly covered in roses roses with thorns that stung and stuck as mementos of your violent soul,3.0
32779,fuzzyagolley if you were in melbourne meeeeeeeeeeee ,2.0
32780,my computer is fuckkeeddddd jiu jitsu    running some errands then hopefully test driving some cars with the parents ,0.0
32781,went to bed   then awoke   and havent been able to go back  sleep ,2.0
32782,queuebuster its been a long road kind of sad to see it go on to the next phase nick will great again this seaso ,0.0
32783,i love the faint  ♫ ,0.0
32784,i am a burden when things go right or even good i feel like i get worse and make things hard on everyone else and ruin what was good i feel like i am a huge let down to everyone that holds any regards for me i am a fucking zero i am a burden this would all be so much easier if i just didnt exist,3.0
32785,xxmcflyxx i know i did but i love ham and you lol  and like it matters followfriday xx,0.0
32786,nljanderson what a combination lol ,0.0
32787,mitchellbader hes been doing that for every performance i dont know why ,2.0
32788,just put together the sangria big ass pot of it gonna soak overnight for  party yum brandy key ,0.0
32789,saphinfection if you are i look forward to your continuing ,0.0
32790,parade where oh i cant go ,2.0
32791,my dvd ran out before the tonys ended  i need the last number i didnt win any tickets but i  bought one for hair so im excited ,2.0
32792,twitted vacation party people  i kinda miss the old days when i was in a bubble  see yall soon,0.0
32793,omg the movie stopped ,2.0
32794, — bakit ka sad httpstcomdzquzyaoi,2.0
32795,kyleridolfo why st ,0.0
32796,lol  my poor sharkie,2.0
32797,i find that i strikingly resemble garfield at the mo droopyeyed hungerfaced and supremely sloppy ,2.0
32798,rt atribecalledkiz lolyall are going to this generation me to death ,2.0
32799,backstreetboys hey bryelol jk loved ur answers i knew u were gonna say to be baylee for a day ,0.0
32800, but we know the wings will win whats the point ,2.0
32801,rt eienaivarez im a gay female minority so anxiety and depression are my two best friends its getting real httpstcostokgenetr,1.0
32802,chantalclaret pshht you get a taco smell from working there too ,2.0
32803,supersquiggler thank you ,0.0
32804,commiewench yup  i like their style even if it is fairly melancholy first heard them on that commercial for something w toxic girl,0.0
32805,scream  still scares me ,2.0
32806,i have really bad anxiety and i dont know how to talk to anyone about it i have had bad anxiety for about the past year and i dont really know where it stems from but its really been taking a toll on my relationship with my girlfriend and my everyday life in how i deal with studying and school and stuff i get terrible anxiety just before a test and it just sucks so much how do i go talk to my parents about it so i can maybe get a medication to help me deal with it every time i try to bring it up i feel embarrassed and dont say anything what can i do to help this situation,3.0
32807,imma check my tweetstats ,0.0
32808,brb gotta to feed the cats their dinner they wont go away  throws kipper at cat,2.0
32809,draggin my butt to the gym for the first time in forever this is goi f to totally suck  ,2.0
32810,homework for my instructional design class no its not as fun as it sounds its about training assessments and stuff  bleh,2.0
32811,was planning to cook a great veg gfcf meal last night and got locked out of the house before leaving for the market ,2.0
32812,back from sm beach hopefully im tannerlast day in la ,2.0
32813,krystlecruz iphone makes that phone its bitch ,0.0
32814,did anyone find going to the doctors useful redditor from the uk here recently been described as showing strong symptoms of depression by my doctor the only advice i have been given is to check out a selfhelp website the doctor i am seeing said to me that antidepressants arent a fix and that she wouldnt prescribe them however i have been scheduled many followup appointments i have never been at such a low point in my life and i do feel that the only time youre considered a concern is if they believe you are a threat to yourself or are selfharming have any of you found that going to the doctors has helped if so what procedure have you followedi dont often come to the internet with things like this but im really at a low point here and i want to see if the healthcare system has helped anyone,3.0
32815,everybodys fishn  we are sad  they have  big fish herelike walleyethey got some big teeth they taste really good thoughpike ,2.0
32816,just did something that will make ppl think i was stupidbut am not bother i intend good i do good i am good ,0.0
32817,on the way to the hamptons wouldnt mind staying in the city tho with the artists and singers who are in town  oh well after the we,2.0
32818, hee hee ok that is a plan ,0.0
32819,hello snuggly sleeping bag and my back seat the menfolk are working so ill be catching up on my rest ,0.0
32820,been  bridlington n scarborough    lovely sunshine but made my sunburn from yesterday even worse ,2.0
32821,i cant think of a reason to not kill myself im isolated i hate my job my relationship is going down the drain even though ive started making small steps to improvement seeking professional help getting some certifications opening up my anxiety attacks have been getting worse i cant imagine doing anything i love i cant convince myself my friends care or my family loves me i thought i could rely on my best friend but my depression and suicidal thoughts caused her to abandon me my girlfriend is going through a lot in her life too and i feel as though theres no room for me there even though i try to be supportive i am expected to be a slave in my current environment even if i leave and go back home im expected to live a life that is meant to make other people happy i have no where to go nothing to look forward to i thought i could trust my friends my girlfriend my parents and then today while just sitting i realized i cant think of a reason not to kill myself,3.0
32822,johnhlynn now it let me upload a pic but i dont have one of myself in the pc ,2.0
32823,harishk yeallo bappi da hamara sab kuch gold gold phish gold twitter handle golden tweets  realin keeda,0.0
32824,frenesi and im just crying over and over again i miss the feeling of have friends and dont be so dependent of two or three unic persons that left to me,3.0
32825,wellwe lost one of our stronger clients todaymy client  im now a little worried ,2.0
32826, morning ,0.0
32827,ccfancy   it is,0.0
32828,anyone else been depressed for so long that you feel nothing anymore at the point where im deeply depressed and angry but its all there passively i have no hope and i basically feel nothing i wake up and am in autopilot mode doing the bare minimum like eating and showering even then half the time i dont eat until i absolutely need to there are weak points where ill break down but it happens rarely and the rest of the time im wishing for death i dont think i would kill myself but i hope to die sometimes ill take walks in the middle of the night in my neighborhood it isnt very safe and walk on dangerous roads and hope to get hit by a car or something just so i dont have to feel responsible i was depressed before but a few months ago a girl played me for her amusement and ever since i havent really been the same i dont know what to do,3.0
32829, yesyes  it is going be great,0.0
32830,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
32831,imanidhillon haha well my headache made me miss out on my friend giving me a muffin  lol he made them haha suprising,2.0
32832,benadgatemusic thats cute ,0.0
32833,it would be nice if you were able to erase some memories from your brain maybe then getting through the day wouldnt be such a struggle with unpleasant shit on your mind,3.0
32834,hertfordshire has no new green councillors and sadly the bnp got its first councillor in herts ,2.0
32835,watching speeders on trutv and they are in my city who knew we had so many hee haws ,2.0
32836,elroydsilva which is your new phone that just reminded me i tried d much hyped mozilla fennec in my htc diamond it hardly runs ,2.0
32837, i have to look after my baby sister  i cant do anything else as long as shes around ,2.0
32838,ft greene back yard social event ,0.0
32839,as you can tell looking for the obscure on ebay ,0.0
32840,williechan very yummy indeed wished i had things like that too ,0.0
32841,im switching to gmail kindly send all emails to   thank you and about gtalk i wonder how it works ,0.0
32842,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
32843,kidcatastrophe so cool to hear you guys on  and i cant believe you in were cherry hill a few weeks ago and i missed it  come back,2.0
32844,ladylogan i am in the car right now in a bit of rush hour traffic but will be there soon yay thank you for the vibes ,0.0
32845, why do you hate cats ,2.0
32846,as it sets in it gets harder to shake no energy never wanna leave the house the only person i want to talk to doesnt have the same urge im not really a benefit to anybody anymore i dont know what i want to do where i want to be  years down the road when will this end,3.0
32847,getting ready to go to my first aa meeting since getting out of hospital  am quite nervous actually   tweetni,2.0
32848,  i know what you mean ive already lost lots of weight so i dont have to buy new clothes ,0.0
32849,really concerned about air france jet disappearing ,2.0
32850,roxeteer its always nice to add great websites coming from finland ,0.0
32851,nekishamichelle hey i have author of the wicked truth about love available for interviews  httpwwwthewickedtruthaboutlovecom,0.0
32852,tshirt design i did for apollo go printed httpapollofightercom and theyre awesome i wish i got ot see them ,0.0
32853,not trying to be dramatic or anything but talking about personal finances gives me a level of anxiety and nausea to combat finals week,2.0
32854, all those links on aicn are broken did they get slapped ,2.0
32855,oh man getting knots in my stomach ,2.0
32856,im so bored xx i think i might make myself a yummy coffee  but i have like no organic oat biscuits left xx shame x,0.0
32857,home  gonna pack later  and oh i gotta shower  excited,0.0
32858,sorry i didnt mean it ,2.0
32859,is it real i didnt believe in depression until it hit me ,3.0
32860,hb is gone back camp hopefully for the last time this round waiting for him to book out   httptweetsg,2.0
32861,lights out  time to get home ,0.0
32862, where do i send them ,0.0
32863,glasgirl gaaaaaaasp i didnt know it will be the final one  sad ive been reading those books for years  ,2.0
32864,rt realmegkylie who else is bingeing orange is the new  black😅 so sad because i only have one episode left😭 any recommendations on some,1.0
32865,i love that ruthann is my bestie and does stuff for me ,0.0
32866,i know my problems but i reject every solution before beginning sorry for my english as its not my native language i strongly wish to unleash some emotion so i am going to write quickly without caring too much about languageanyway this is the first time in a long that i write a topic on an online community i am a  years old guy who lives in italy and attends the first year of university i feel that my life sucks and whats worse is that i am totally aware of everything even of the solutions that i should practice to put an end to this misery lets see my biggest problem is selfhatred i hate myself for everything i havent never kissed a girl and i shame contnuosly myself for that i am lazy and i constantly yell at myself for that i am slow i feel hard to connect with people when they are in front of me even if they are supposed closed friends and i shame myself also for that i feel like a good at nothing i cant focus on my studies and i procastinate everything even the simplest task i cant build any long lasting interest in anything i have very few social skills and i extremely avoidant when i am among people or even with just another one my mind goes toally blank and i find impossible as hell to keep a conversation even if i manage to make some friend i quickly forget and ignore them after few timei feel like living in a bubble almost completely separated from the rest of the world but the real problem as said before is that i am aware of what i should do to heal meexample i spend too much time in front of pc without taking any enjoyment in it so i should just stop but still that i fail everytime i tryi listen obsessively to few songs and the solution is simply to discover new genres and singer but here again that after having given a shoot for a try i get something new but i rebegin with old routine again maybe with just some new obession added i know that i should take a walk at least once in a day that would help my humor but somekind of invisible hand trap me in my room i waste hours every week in porn also this oftenwithout any real enjoyment but just for habit and i know that i should  maybe masturbate without watchinganything andusinginly myimagination that would be a good start point but here again that even i manage to do this for once or a couple of times i get trapped again in the previous habits i feel paralyzed and often i suspect that the truth is that i dont really want to heal or maybe that someone will save me so dont need to fight i see myself as pathetic a warm a monster,3.0
32867,alexalltimelow thank you for the tweet  i wish we could do something to help really  hope youre feeling better,2.0
32868,kogantech when is the draw being held ,0.0
32869,dougiemcfly lmao dougie what newspaper  im gonna have to buy it  xxx,0.0
32870,nkarmytngirl the stupid thing only let me rate you once and said i couldnt anymore today ,2.0
32871,hauttotes oh ugh thats so ridiculous i cant believe they did that any way to find her a different camp ,2.0
32872,i wish the world would end and i would just have to find her i sometimes wish the world would end still here i am awake haunted by the sound of a subtle whisper though theres nothing left cities sleeping that never before have heard rest theres a feeling yearning aching hurting inside like pressure in an ear if there was nobody would you know recalling events of loss you remember voices you have once heard before this time of nothingness disappearing after their loss soon enough you hear the newsam i insane who is this why is this happening the subtle comfort of solidarity though terrifying luls me into comfort still i hear this voicestill here alone where we soon make plansrendezvous nobody cares when we have all the time in the world right paris france thats the destinationthe trip was not difficult just long boats and gas are plentiful anyone all two of them could break into the library now there are so manyfinally here i wait nobody it never was i was wrong i have learned nothing i still wait and look but theres nobody in sight i guess this really is real lifei used to have this wish and that some way some how i would meet her still getting played time and time again i dont think it would end the way i hoped we wouldnt meet we wouldnt find love there would be no hope or it would all be insanity from the start,3.0
32873,im really depressed that the hills is ending tonight ,2.0
32874,hey i feel so violated some little quotassociatequot has taken such liberty with my twitter nice msg though  now jst  find out who,0.0
32875,amandaholden wasnt it heartbreaking bloody chelsea everton deserved it moyesy defo deserved it ,2.0
32876,rt foreverantipop sometimes i suffer from anxiety,2.0
32877,do i need new friends i do so much for my friends either its long talks about their issues paying for stuff driving or even giving stuff that i dont need rather than trying to make some money off them i dont really get any of this treatment back i know i shouldnt be expecting anything in return but fuck do i feel like nothing like is it too hard to show some compassion back is it me or them should i change myself or do i need a change of friends dont get me wrong my friends and i have had some good times together it just these little things that kind of makes me depressed from time to time this post could go way longer and deeper but ill save you guys the time any thoughts would be super helpful,3.0
32878,driving back everyone is sleeping ,2.0
32879,wishing i could be at home in sc celebrating this day with my dadits the only thing he would want today ,2.0
32880,feeling sad for my friend who just broke up with her bf  poor thing,2.0
32881,just found some people making fun on me all this time feels bad i dont really want to elaborate but i found some guys making fun of me since  month ago and well this plus some anxiety of my daybyday routinediscussions with my parents having to deal with some idiots at school and that sort of stuff makes me feel empty,3.0
32882,hmm well ive now drawn him but it doesnt look like him ,2.0
32883,burn your stress away 🌻accept peace 🌷 🥀 ,1.0
32884,thinking about chris pine amp listening to jimmy buffet ,0.0
32885,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
32886,back from palau ubin zone event and from a sumptuous fish amp co dinner with the emerge cheerleadersnow i feelvery itchy eventful week ,0.0
32887,loling at everyone suddenly getting addicted to coke its cos im on my  day caffeine free  soz,0.0
32888,venting about depression and possible avoidant personality disorder sorry for the psychotic rant please give me your advice im going crazy i have been for years but its getting worse and worse still totally conscious but my thoughts are becoming more erratic im extremely lonely and isolated and i fear it will never end because im scared to meet new people i have no sense of belonging or emotional connection i dont trust anyone i have no purpose in life no skill to offer the world i have no passion for anything i have no joy to spread if anything i only spread negativity because i only see the down sides of things and all of these symptoms worsen the other symptoms im a defeatist i seem to focus on the negative aspects of things im hateful racist and sexist i have knee jerk reactions and judge different kinds of people instead of learning about who they are as individuals i cant connect with people i cant process my emotions or communicate them i fear they will be used against me i can barely hold a conversation with the  friends i have everytime i talk to them i feel like im struggling to make them not hate me im profoundly socially awkward i also cant get a job because of this which lowers my self esteem a lot no girl will ever love me because im a jobless effeminate coward who cant talk to anyone i cant even look them in the eyes im scared to go outside i dont leave the house for days at a time most of my problems would have never happened if i just had a healthy social circle in my teens and early twenties its incredibly hard to make friends as an adult and especially for me because i have no experience with it and i struggled to do it even when i was a child i have imposter syndrome if i start to like anything i dont show it or let others know because it isnt legitimate ive never felt i belonged in any subculture or anything im also addicted to porn which reddit seems to think isnt a real addiction but whateverive made other accounts asking for advice over the years most people say i should get therapy but i really could never do that i am skeptical of how that would fix it but thats not the issue i cant talk to strangers about little things like the weather how am i supposed to open up about all these things that a normal adult should have already figured out my speech is stunted from years of isolation i stutter and take a long time to form sentences its humiliating and im depressed which makes it hard to shower and get out of the house at all i really cant do it im a socially inept neurotic weirdo maybe if i drank a lot i could get the courage to walk in therei would do anything to feel a sense of joy i would do anything for love but theres no hope im over the curve everyone my age has had sex multiple girlfriends many friends and social experiences theyve gone to college theyve done courageous things theyve learned skills and hobbies i have nothing no education or job experience i wasted my youth i would join the military but im too retarded i have no prospects of a girlfriend i dont know anyone even if i found someone who i could convince to like me it would be because im dishonest and only showing my good side i would be hiding how pathetic i am only to be revealed later and it wouldnt lead to love and even if it did i would be unable to love them back because i literally dont know howthanks for reading i cant believe this beautiful gift of life was wasted on me and now i seriously want to end it after  years of thinking about it dont worry i will not do it any time soon i know i can always do it so there is comfort in thatif you have any tips you can let me know but i probably will not find it in me to them into practice because im dead inside,3.0
32889,i am not depressed anymore i was depressed for the last  years an felt like shit everyday and had a lot of suicidal thoughts nothing really changed or got better in my life except that i changed schools an the new school is much better in everyway  possible  but i was still depressed for the first half of the year and still had no friends i have been sitting next to this girl i get along with rlly well and being with her makes me happy and not depressed we also chat alot and now i dont feel constantly depressed anymore i still have bad days but i think thats normal like i find myself being happy so often like a whole day without any sadness  but anyway i cant stop thinking about killing myself and ways to commit suicide these thoughts got even more frequent and intense than before i am just really confused about this,3.0
32890,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
32891,laurenconrad love the hat you wear it very well ,0.0
32892, that makes me a rather large flv ,2.0
32893,its been only  days since i broke up with my gf and i miss her for some reason ,2.0
32894,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
32895,a poem that i wrote it beckoned to me relentlessly adamantdriven with eyes as black as my soulyoud ask me no doubt of what it all meantbut youd catch youre life observing the groovesset inside each coal on the tip of every distant shoalcalling every hand of chance a happy accidentbut this is one phenomenathat you just might not be able to proveor disprove for that mattermaybe youre just a little bit too shrewd,3.0
32896, movie with my little brother im excited ,0.0
32897,im suffering more than im happy how can i keep living this way the thing i hate about happiness is that its never permanent i can list maybe on one hand how many times i was happy but can think of a thousand times i was sadnothing makes me happy anymore ive tried hobbies i work out i eat well i have friends and im social and im the furthest thing from a depressed person on the outside but on the inside sometimes im just waiting for this long life to be over most people are sad to age im happy it means i have less years of sadness and suffering i hate how fleeting happiness is it can be snapped away in an instance its so fragile the one thing that makes me happy going on trips only lasts for so long and then its over how can i keep living like this,3.0
32898,sunbug also the problem is the thickness of the packets im trying to cut down on postage costs as well ,2.0
32899,nice day today ,0.0
32900,timesnow sad this is what we have come at muslims have been ever intolerant to their girls going to hindu fam ,2.0
32901,the joy inside  overcoming anxiety depression pots syndrome  via youtube,2.0
32902, loved roves interview with pink amp carey lookin hot on thumpsters ,0.0
32903,its okay taeya we will be there for you even i know how sad thatll bei lost my grandpa who i lived with him f ,1.0
32904,rt maddyyyyyyyy im super sad that i havent been to an amusement park this summer ,0.0
32905,check out icefilmsinfo no nine inch nails  but lots of free movies to watch and download,2.0
32906,well damn lmao,1.0
32907,i cant believe ive gotten this bad i understand losing a job losing your mom getting cheated on and finding out about it in the most cliche possible way losing hope in everything i was so self destructive before and after just wanted to not feel way before any of this shit started to happen its difficult accepting and understanding whats happened in the past has effectively shaped you in a negative and positive way but most of us stop there im stopped there the negative way its so easy to get caught in that loop we can be right about some things but it doesnt change anything i say i cant believe ive gotten this bad for good i wont bore anyone with details of my childhood as we all have a few nights worth of stories just know you always have a decision and its yours right now its pretty hard at  years old ive let myself be manipulated by my own father and my ex i remember at a younger age feeling like i dont deserve to feel sad and i shouldnt now i think its just a plain joke and im being tested not religious or whatever didnt mean that but fuck life is getting a little too real i just got a letter from my school they approved a grade change appeal i just stopped showing up for  semesters i have my suspicion due to the community im from and the majordegree i was going in for they are tight knit and had my backif youre from this community you will probably know when i received the letter my first response was anger that they would let someone like me back but its time to be done with all my self searching for so long i would be thinking what could i changetweak about me to make more people like me what can i change to make me think that i dont care about what people think even though that was on my mind  of the time and stressing me out ive been stuck in the past and its time to move on its unfortunate that for so many of us we know something is wrong and we want to change so many of us dont know how i still dont know how but im going to fucking start im starting here my next step is doing less things that dont get me anywhere and more thing that move me forward thanks for reading,3.0
32908,twitter fail here in nj ,2.0
32909,knowsnotmuch no i dont want a coalition with the party fartingpen and  seem to be interested in thats why ,2.0
32910,lockdwn thanks ,0.0
32911,rt  k sad,2.0
32912, its cool ,0.0
32913,bgabordi  base is the way it used to before the renovation ,0.0
32914,i just graduated and i feel so lost i graduated from university last month but i just cant bring myself to start applying for a proper job im still so tired  i had a breakdown on the morning of my presentation i thought i would fail because i couldnt complete my model in time i couldnt attend the graduation i was just too drained  a month later and im starting to get a little better  ive started running again to get some of my energy back i have arthritis and everything just aches a lot all the time right now im going to start working at my dads place to take my mind off things the pay is decent and the working hours are fixed  im hoping to use my evenings to work on my portfolio i dont really like it there and im uncomfortable being around my dads colleagues but its more dignified than unemployment i dont really know what to do with my life i dont have a plan and i dont know how any of this works i dont feel competent enough to get into the field ive studied for but more than that i just dont have the energy for the whole job hunting process i dont have it in me to lie in my emails and interviews and pretend im happy and that everything is going great but thats not the biggest of my worries i dont live in the best part of the world  the wages here are low and the hours are long all my friends are miserable at their jobs working from early in the morning till near midnight im probably going to be like them when i get my first proper job im not prepared for that slaving away all week just so i can struggle to buy groceries how am i ever going to afford a car or a house my father wants me to go to germany  get a masters degree and hopefully live there afterwards but i just cant i can barely function over here and he wants me to learn german and move across the planet im not ready for any of this i just thought id get this off my chest i have nobody to confide in theres no communicating with my family and all my friends are too busy to hang out anymore ive spent nearly all of my free time at home in my room ive spent nearly eight years trying to succeed but ive never felt more like a failure than i do now ,3.0
32915,deepfour yes but i kinda think we wouldnt get much done over the week ,2.0
32916,i washed and polished my car todayits clean and shiny now ,0.0
32917,sometimes wa na sad ko kahibaw unsa akong problema haha basin ill just wake up one day with a dissociative disorder omaygad,2.0
32918,juuulianne faabianne hey girls listen i gotta go now its already a half past midnight here and  i have to get up early ,2.0
32919,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
32920,those poor people on the missing plane  hazelnut coffee and bravo mmm,2.0
32921,i dont think my best friend cares either that or she doesnt know what to do i told her about how i felt yesterday the only replies were try to improve and dude i honestly dont know what to say i feel like a moron telling her how useless i felt she probably thinks im some freak who cant control his emotions,3.0
32922,leostorch pois eh ,2.0
32923,leighfrancis do you have a link to it online i dont get that paper here ,2.0
32924,in bed now gonna read and stuff maybe watch a flick on my pod feel super dry skin and eyes and stuff ,2.0
32925,a little bit sadi do not understand men ,2.0
32926,family problems i cant talk to anyone about i hate my dadits not that im ungrateful for everything hes done for mehes good enough of a father to give me my physical needs but cannot or will not give me any of the help i need mentally and emotionallya few years ago i was suicidal i forgot why i was depressed but my brother found me with a knife up to my neck and told my parents my mom took the knife and didnt say anything my dad brought me to his room for him to talk with me privately youd expect any sane parent to be calm and try to make me feel better about myself not my dad not the piece of shit he is he yelled at me telling me i need to go to a mental hospital i didnt realize it then but this is when i started to hate my dad all he ever does is make me feel like shit he could easily change the way he says things to me to make me feel at least a little better about myself when he talks to me but he doesnt i want to tell him that he is being a horrible father but for all i know he might get angry at me because he hates being wrong i cant make him angry because he is bigger stronger and physically better than me in every way i want to get out of my family as soon as i can im tired of feeling like shit every time my dad opens his mouth around me whenever my grades are low and i cant compete with the drill team which by the way is probably my biggest source of happiness all he does is yell at me telling me if i kept my grades up i would have gone he just rubs salt to the wound he never helps me with anything all he does is motivate me by yelling at me every time i make a mistake i feel absolutely disgusted that this piece of shit is my father i want to get out i want to kill myself  but i dont want to upset my friends on the drill team i want to move out but that will take too long to wait for i want someone to kill me or some freak accident will happen so no one will go to blamei hate my mom she knows my dad yells at me and doesnt do shit about it what makes it worse is that it feels like shes hated me since i quit going to church she keeps telling me to start coming back to church and shit but i dont believe in that shit anymorei hate all of my siblings except for one of my brothers my dad yells at the two of us the most and so my brother is the only one i can talk to about my dad being a piece of shit everyone else just makes fun of me for all of my weak points i know im a piece of shit who cant get a girlfriend i know im ugly i know i speak too quietly i just want them to shut the fuck up alreadyi hate myself weve moved to a lot of different places and im in my  high school now and every girl ive liked has always had something to hurt me my freshman year i asked her out and she said she wasnt interested in dating at all and not too long later she started dating someone else my sophomore year it was my best friends girlfriend and they only told me they were dating after i had feelings for her this year some of the people i told who i like told me that she is actually very manipulative and you guessed it only after i already had feelings for heri just feel like such a piece of shit all the timei want it all to end soon,3.0
32927,  isnt that hawwt yes i made that  its on my agenda  schoool,0.0
32928,depression is caused by depression and cured by happiness,1.0
32929, no i was out at my cousins house nd she hates sport so i missed it  cant believe lebron lost tho,2.0
32930,just took a shower now going in the kitchen to eat something  xox,0.0
32931,been dealing with anxietypanic attacks all day long heart has been racing and vomiting may have to go to hospita ,2.0
32932,jonchang tell me all about it you scoundrel ,0.0
32933,im going to bed  niiiight ,0.0
32934,i have so many people and yet feel so alone the one person i leaned on for everything i cant lean on anymore theres still tons of people in my life but at the same time i feel the need to have some kind of filter for each person theres not anyone i feel comfortable with yet just saying everything i thought i had that person but i drove them away i used to love being around people they gave me energy but right now i just want to be still cry scream sleep anything and yet nothing i dont understand why i feel so alone even though im surrounded by people,3.0
32935,aceofcups yay sounds good by the way the narrative is coming to nyc at a  venue after i leave for thailand ,2.0
32936,i am in love with paint shop pro scripts ,0.0
32937,woooohoooooo a week from tuesday jonasbrothers lines vines and trying times comes out cant wait ,0.0
32938,girlcanrock i keep calling kanye but its always busy ,2.0
32939,mrgeoff  i love that show dont you,0.0
32940,misslazarou im at a place called vertigo ,0.0
32941,need a job ,2.0
32942,courtnidgew haha me too mostly because im not good at pretending to like people  or making useless conversation hows the weather eh,2.0
32943,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
32944,solessence were out ,2.0
32945,kissdafunk  lets do something ground breaking,0.0
32946,rt mstiefvater things you can learn from the raven cycle• fundamental occult practices• poor driving habits• shitty latin• lite welsh,2.0
32947,what should i do this is my first post in this subreddit and my language isnt english so i may have mistake here and thereplz forgive mei am  yrs old dudefor  yrs straight i am a single personive dealt with acnes for years and i think you all know how it fuck someones lifeso let say i am not handsomeso the chance for having girls is zero percentfirst i think i could just ignore it and keep living but i was wrongwith my ugly face i dont wanna go outside so i dont have friendsi dont have any relationship with anyone except my familyfor  yrs i kept living like this then at the age of  yrs oldi decided i couldnt just live like this anymore so i started go outside and made friendsi thought this was a good ideai should have done that years agobut i got a problemi am jealous with all of my friendsmy friends who always look cool and handsome and of coz they slept with multiple womenevery damn time they always tell me about girlswomen they ever fucked and they asked me how many women have you slept withi just said i am waiting for the right womanthey laughed and said i am stupidthe topic always about girlsand ii dont have anything to tell themi felt like my life was donei am so pathetici wasted my lifei dont wanna go outside anymoretheir words made me wanna kill myself for being pathetic to themwhat should i do nowi felt like i am just a big failure,3.0
32948,i dont know anymore i have no emotion but sadness i dont really care about anything anymore i used to play a shitload of games but now i dont even launch steam when i boot my pc i know i have friends and i know they care but everything they say just comes in one ear and out the otheri have been trying for so long to fit in but whenever i try to do anything its almost like this voice in my head keeps telling me i cant do it and it just keeps on nagging me like there is no tomorrowtoday i am supposed to speak with someone that is supposed to help me but im to afraid to open up the only place i feel safe is on the internet and i think alot of people can relate to thatall i do every single day is just be depressed complain about life and i think im almost driving myself insane and this post is more or less my last attempt to ask for helpif any of my friends were to find this  im sorry i keep all of this hidden,3.0
32949,haha my internet is finally working ,0.0
32950,anxiety of being inadequate  behind in lifemoneylovelife i feel that after quite long period of time im starting to leaving my shell of depression but each time i try to step out  i feel huge anxiety of falling behind in life i feel like i wasted good couple years and i feel inadequate in things like how i look feel act and what my experiences and status is some like looks arent huge obstacle but how to deal with anxiety concerning being isolated for so long i literally lost touch to my socialskills i think  in addition here comes the  financial status of  year old guy idk how to break through this i literally dont feel like talking to anyone meeting new people or something becouse i feel like im so behind that it disgusts me and others too probably inadequacy is the key word here,3.0
32951,save me from this nightmare ,2.0
32952,wishing this old frozen coffee in may car wasntoldim thirsty ,2.0
32953,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,1.0
32954,lauracal welcome to the skype orgy ,0.0
32955,grooveecar we can do it ,0.0
32956,geez ppl r too tense wow quotbigquot concert tomorrow says mr rose  if i wasnt the only tuba yes i play it its heavy and not very fun ,2.0
32957,urgent advice needed didnt take pill with food feel like absolute crap now what i started on aropax but stupid me didnt take it with food i feel like absolute crap in my whole body im yawning and can barely keep my eyes open i feel nauseous arms are feeling kind of numb beginning to get a headache should i have some fruit now or would that make it worse btw im not sure if aropax is for depression or anxiety so sorry if i posted in the wrong sub  update turns out dad was reading from the wrong packet this one says nothing about taking with food so now im confused  update  my pupils are dilated i think i have serotonin syndrome ,3.0
32958,not fun being at the gym when you have zero motivation ,2.0
32959,prasheena i did go yes but had rehearsal during it too ,2.0
32960,the weekend standby duty for today ended theres no callout ,0.0
32961,do you consider yourself a realist or a pessimist after a conversation with my therapist on friday where i was talking about how nice it must be to walk through life oblivious consciously or not to all the horrible things going on in the world we talked about how people who suffer from depression tend to be more tuned in to the reality of the world like some sort of cruel joke this made me think that maybe for so long people have been telling me im a pessimist but maybe im a realist and thats somehow not as bad,3.0
32962,stikr haha thatll be so much fun im working  till  ,2.0
32963,i dont know what to do not sure if this is the right sub for this but my fiance who ive been with for  years told me a week ago that she no longer loves me never been this crushed in my entire life and ive just been depressed and i cant stop crying i dont know what to i dont know how to not be upset and im just lost ,3.0
32964,rt charstarlene my heart goes out to those of us whose anxiety has gone from crippling to an accelerating vomitshitdeathlike ever since,1.0
32965,back to work after a few days off bummer ,2.0
32966,listening to music in the car  thinking about stuff,0.0
32967,rt sovietbitch why do asian parents think yelling is gonna fix anything all it does is instill fear and anxiety in your fucking children,2.0
32968,playing poker on facebook ,0.0
32969,dreamingshadow i hope so ,0.0
32970,i want to run away  i got suspended from school for  days yesterday for having a vape they called me and my friends out of class and made us empty out our pockets no context or anything my dad always works out of town and my mom is sick from work so i am here with her all day she yells at me for anything i just got yelled at  min ago for wearing a black tshirt that i got from my grandparents for christmas while doing the dishes because its too new i just got yelled at again because i started to take clothes out of the dryer to fold them and she was mad that i didnt restart the dryer to freshen the clothes again before i folded them she yelled at me yesterday when she found out about how stupid i am for doing it and i said yea it was dumb but she proceeded to yell at me for it and tell me how gross it is while she was smoking a cigarette she literally hates me and is the worst parent i have ever seen in my life she is drunk almost every night and my sister is  and my mom smoked weed with me and my sister a few weeks ago then the next day yelled at me for it and said it will ruin my life,3.0
32971,i cant believe jon amp katethis is awful ,2.0
32972,another blister ,2.0
32973,should i expect my partner to understand and help when im at my worst since we have been together for  years i just want an opinion i feel horribly guilty for wanting him to be there for me but i know he cant always i havent asked for help lately but he does things like laundry and small amounts of cleaning and for the past  months hes been the only one working but we arent horribly scraping by my point is am i expecting too much hes usually more attentive and knows when im at my lowest or hell listen intuitively because he wants to understand recently its like hes changed and i feel like hes just getting tired of me tired of all my bullshit mental disorders i am too trust me he has said things like  you know i hate all the ways you want to cut your hair so why even ask me or questioning why i do things when i dont even know why but he knows i do weird questionable things when im that bad off i feel more alone than i ever have been because hes my person and its not that i dont think he cares i just i dont know i dont know what to think i just want some opinions,3.0
32974,rt  this is going to be a thread on dating someone with depression keep in mind that depression varies a bit in each pers,2.0
32975,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
32976,timbrepitch all good here making out a shopping list for the grocery big time fun ,0.0
32977,is gonna his the skate park ,0.0
32978,oliviabeee    u my mom makes shit like that but she lives in minnesota ,2.0
32979,intelligensia assistant  some of us can only dream ,0.0
32980,rereading the twilight saga  all this loveydovey talk is just beyond me  i like most parts of the books but some parts kill the vibe ,2.0
32981,miley cyrus uu are just myy heroo  but uu never reply when i talk too uu ,2.0
32982,i hope my ipod can charge in time ,0.0
32983,is going to spend the day dropping cllr from people in his phone book how depressing ,2.0
32984,i hate going to sleep like this its just anxiety all night wondering what i did wrong and what i can do to fix it its not a fun time,1.0
32985,i have failed my maths today ,2.0
32986,headset oh darn i didnt get a poster made for you so sad ,2.0
32987,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
32988,anxiety anxiety anxiety,2.0
32989,jonathangiles this is proof  how did you know i was gonna talk about your mum  for realz man you got skillz ,0.0
32990,rt esakalupdate marathareservation marathamorcha मराठा आरक्षणसाठी राज्यातील सातवा बळी cmomaharashtra devfadnavis ,1.0
32991,at work meetings cancelled  days in a row wow perhaps everybodys on holidays already ,2.0
32992,gloriene have you seen the new moon movie trailer ,0.0
32993,now its time for some post show monsters at work and i feel fine  even with this headache,0.0
32994,beverleyhills whos frank bradley bev hes our lovely sound man from birmingham and rsc  the quiet one  i love him,0.0
32995,school is over great no more anxiety,1.0
32996,hates that you cannot get a gp appointment on demand for a sick child another couple of hours and we can trek off to the after hours gp ,2.0
32997,sometimes i feel a depressive bought coming on and dont think too much about it until i find myself unfairly asking people who i care about to help me carry the burden and when i suddenly realize its not their responsibility or burden and its unfair to ask i feel like a complete pos suddenly thats usually when it occurs to me nothing is oncoming its major depression that already fucking hit me like a train and im only now noticing it and its fucking lowil eal with it myself and avoid people for a while for no particular reasondoes anyone relate to thatslightly cathartic to articulate it and type out tho at leastthats all i suppose,3.0
32998,  woot  we all deserve a little of that special southern sunce today  ,0.0
32999,how iswas your high school i am a senior at high school and i cant stand being there im having a terrible time bonding with anyone and it just seems to me like im repelling people away from not on purpose those were my last three yearsthis year i became apathic im not talking with almost anyone except for a couple of fake friends that will do nothing for me and well never really want to hang out together last time i hung out with people was i think in  and im becoming lazy in doing tasks and tests and i rarely get out of bed i guess the senior year finally fully broke mei am not comparing myself with anyone else in this subreddit since i dont feel like im having a really bad depression but i am afraid of falling into it in the endso how was your high school experiencesorry if there are grammarspelling mistakes not my native language,3.0
33000,sorry been mad busy but i do check my voice messages daily  and its great to hear your voicenext best thing to touching ,0.0
33001,my bad  let me know how to pray for you then,2.0
33002,giving the new graham coxon album another listen sounds much better on a sunny sunday with a chilled beer ,0.0
33003,time to watch kimkhloe and kourt on keeping up with the kardash ,0.0
33004,photo taking names and kicking arse  gouache on second hand canvas i struggle with painting  ,2.0
33005,online therapy sessions  therapy sessions over skype for anxiety amp depression email to book a session ,2.0
33006,im soooooooo ready to go home and lay in my bed me sooooo tired ,2.0
33007,last day in la ,2.0
33008,rt itslolarae happy sad angry everything httpstcorgcjkuegag,2.0
33009,anyone got a teleporter i could borrow right quick really missin my baby hardcore right now    ,2.0
33010,mccato havent been to cr since  snorkeled in the aquarium last year so this year were nostalgic amp will enjoy from the other side ,0.0
33011,im so stupid i havent been taking my meds and pushing away my emotions so they build up i keep pushing everyone away from me and that includes pushing away one of my closest friends and breaking up with my boyfriend because its not the same i totally fucked it up and i cant tell anyone in real life without my meds i have felt numb it wasnt the relationship it was my depression coming back full force i havent really stopped crying the last few days and everything just hurts i just want to kill myself because theres no going back from this point and i thought i built up a support system but anytime i mentioned my exs name people seem to get annoyed i threw away years of friendship and two and a half years of a relationship because of my mental illness i pushed him away and its all my fault and it wouldnt be fair to him to mention this because he still wants to be friends if i tell anyone i havent been taking my medicine it turns into a huge thing i cant believe i put myself in this situation i should honestly just end it as i know no one really cares anymore i still love him and im so fucking stupid,3.0
33012,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,2.0
33013,theres something wrong with tweetie ,2.0
33014, happy birthday best friend  let me know how the movie is  see you tonight my love  ,0.0
33015,just think of me as the pages in your diary  alicia keys  diary,0.0
33016,ddlovato oh  i pray for you,2.0
33017,missed atevensmithsays live on cnn damn ,2.0
33018,seems there is a dns issue on our end the site and some services might not be accessible  answers ur q mohanjith,2.0
33019,vanessaalicia i hate you i cant believe youre going to the concert without me  im so mad i cant go this year ,2.0
33020,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
33021,still trying i think i just need to vent ive been thinking about posting for the past day i almost did and then i deleted it because it wasnt perfect and anyway i shouldnt post things im supposed to be invisible im terrified of standing out social anxiety but still here i am theres stuff i need to deal with stuff i need to work through i have spent so many years in therapy over  of my life ive tried i grew up in a house with  addicts ive always wanted to try and make things betteri can never make things better i still want to try i dont understand what it is in me that feels the need to keep everything going this is why i feel so heartbroken right nowbecause i cant do everything anymore i can still go to work eat sleep feed the dog the bare minimum everything else all the potentially fun stuff is broken go out on a date after work have sex with the person i love go visit a friend at their house on a weekend plan a trip to the coast do some writing on that novel ive been working on meditate might as well ask me to fly to pluto all i can think about anymore is getting home and laying aroundgoing to sleep i tried to think about writing today after work i have some time after all but no half of me wants to delete it all right now anyway because its worthless and unoriginal and no one gives a fuck anyway not like itll do any good for me that was one of the thoughts that scared me enough to call my doctors office and tell them to start me on anti depressant medication weve talked about it a few times but i always said i could manage it without medicationso here i am here we go again  and broken hoping the medication can give me some space again so i dont spend the entire  hour commute sobbing in my car like ive done all week hoping i dont stay up all night or stop eating or feel like a zombie ive failed but im trying pushing the fucking boulder back up the hill again i have so much i am so lucky i know this im sorry for this im sorry for whining taking up space i wish i could succeed at staying invisible if i were stronger i could do it but im not strong right now im really not ,3.0
33022,back in work hmmmmmmmmmmm  rubbish rubbish rubbish,2.0
33023,my mum is going to srilanka tomorrow ,2.0
33024,barely making it thru today at work but feeling better ,0.0
33025,bostonmarketer no problem im heading out of town too ,0.0
33026,thehoneyfamily i went to the wrong show  there was no conga line in ohio,2.0
33027, i realy wana cry if only my mum wasnt so damn nosy hope he comes bak onlyn i luv him  much  let him go  butslushy lol ly xx,2.0
33028,cameronreilly i would just call that regression ,0.0
33029,im such a stubborn asshole when i wanna be but i know how to make things right again ,0.0
33030,having bluetooth issues on my imackeyboard and mouse stops workingvery annoying ,2.0
33031,arghhh history  panic ,2.0
33032,long day today at a meeting it feels like forever ,2.0
33033, morning  i slept like a log have a great day at work  xxx,0.0
33034,angiephotog thats sooooo mean  sad ,2.0
33035,rt basedana i wish i wasnt so fucking sad and depressed all the time i really feel like im in hell,1.0
33036,rt freyaizzys  a ship that didnt get the endgame they deservednate amp serena gossip girlso sad forever sadno one loved serena t,1.0
33037,hello to a new day time for starbucks ,0.0
33038,job interview next week finding it really difficult to cope at the moment ive got an interview next week and im trying to prepare whilst my brain is telling me im shit and i wont get it so whats the point ive got this fog in my brain thats stopping me remembering what i need to say and all i can think about is pulling out and not putting myself through it any advice,3.0
33039,nookandpantry oh you poor thing  time for some ice cream,2.0
33040,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
33041,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
33042,toking mum now were at crystal jade in shaw towers whee  robingo,0.0
33043,how i wish my bff was here i miss him   ha ha remembering all the funny shit we did and do always brings a smile,2.0
33044,judithbailey yeah dms dont work  everyone amp blocked ppl wont delete  they need  fix it,2.0
33045,is soo sleepy had to be at work at  am with only two hours of sleep ,2.0
33046,other than that this anxiety attack was totally bad and i wasnt prepared for it bc im never anxious outside of small random triggers,2.0
33047,these girls bout some shows lmao smh ,0.0
33048, are u serious well im sure hes ok girl but ima pray still ,2.0
33049,prolly my last updatelol bye twitterland ,0.0
33050,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,1.0
33051, damn right and to top it off my life has just got better as well  xxx,0.0
33052,fyck life i just want to cry again idk why but i neeed it and i cant im not even good at being depressed,3.0
33053,jordanknight is it me   my twitter is messin up,0.0
33054,dionnesouth but they werent that good  i see the cuteness factor getting them through though bgt,2.0
33055,im really depressed i wont make it to minnesota this summer  stuck in mexico god i so want to go,2.0
33056,going to work for the day ,0.0
33057,what was a sinus bother has landed in my chest like a couple of bricks ugh i hate being sick ,2.0
33058,thisisrobthomas gorgeous are they from her garden if so shes got quite the green thumb ,0.0
33059,katbrown sooo excited  nantucket amp fenway here we come best weekend ever,0.0
33060,jrdnrobidoux i knoww right he tells people to vote for his butt urgh i dont like him but girl i should be doing my paper  nooooo,2.0
33061,passed out before i could finish my driving class  hopefully if i finish it today the dmv will get it and i wont get my points,2.0
33062,i finally told my mother that i have been depressed for years and that i have been hurting myself i got called stupidfantastic,3.0
33063, male over the last  years ive struggled with severe depression i see a therapist a psychiatrist and regularly check in with my gp im on  of slow release velaflaxine effexor and  of mirtazapine a day i am a secondary teacher in the uk i have had periods of time off of work the longest was  and a half months and im on another sign off for another month now my superiors and boss have all been understanding however a colleague with whom i am close has let rip at me for being off work again and that they have had to take on  of my classes they have also gone on to explain how they think it is wrong for someone with severe depression to teach and that it isnt good for the kids they also said that i am selfish and that im just gaming the system to pay my bills i had discussed maybe changing careers with them before christmas theyve essentially said i should quit immediately so i can be replaced i am absolutely deveststed that they would think this i did apologise for their increased work load i already feel a failure and i wish i was dead ive been looking up if whether i kill myself my wife would be able to keep the house in the last month ive only been outside of my house or my parents maybe half a dozen times id felt a bit better over the last few days considering how to move forwards now i feel like i am the rot in everyones life i thought i was it would be better if i was dead,3.0
33064,wow earthquake in ca hope everyone is okay spanish exam today ,2.0
33065,tomorrow might be awesome ,0.0
33066,anyone else have an extreme fear of not existing  death its always in the back of my mind but recently its been something ive been obsessing over to such an extreme levelits been giving me panic attacks and im really starting to not be able to enjoy life as much as i shouldif theres anyone who has also experienced this or can talk about this im all ears cause its really messing with me,3.0
33067,im so sad,2.0
33068,up cleaning blehh ,2.0
33069,my waking depression is better than it has been before but nighttime is still horrible i toss and turn all night every night and when i do sleep its all nightmares sometimes theyre vaguely depressing sometimes theyre terrifying and sometimes theyre just really stressful but theyre always negativeit feels like all the suicidal ideas and thoughts and feelings i successfully repress during the day fight their way out while im not fully conscious ,3.0
33070,sowmyak thats pretty much a sign to me of not workin ,2.0
33071,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
33072,mau otp dong huu ,2.0
33073,okay damnit i only have one roll of toliet paper left for  bathrooms thats not good  ,2.0
33074,says hi to wwwplurkcomjackielee ate jack  ,0.0
33075,matthetwat ohhh wasabi   im not in the little league no then ,2.0
33076,really upset because the universe will someday come to a stand still and all the beautiful creatures on earth will not flourish very long and the fucking sun will go nuts so theres that basically human wont have a lot more time to advance there no point to anything and no species will survive in the long run,3.0
33077,writerstephanie i wish i could but i saw blue october last night ,0.0
33078, ah i just built a new one     its pretty sweet ,0.0
33079,soon itll be my  bday but i have no one to celebrate it with dont really know how to feel about it soi got no friends pretty much a nonexistent family aaaaand i never truly cared much about bdays until nowi feel weird this time i keep telling myself its only a matter of time before ill find myself surrounded by great people but now i feel this way and i hate it fuck birthdays,3.0
33080, welcome ,0.0
33081,guerillamilk dang girlyou churning em out huh  ,0.0
33082,there were like four guys that just got like arristed at the park  yeekk,2.0
33083, thats great news im glad u got it figured out ,0.0
33084,need help  my sisters birthday and i havent got anything except for a card  ,2.0
33085,good cake  ,0.0
33086,is life actually what we might think of as hell i never rebounded fully from my sister killing herself i struggle a lot and it sucks  i bring my family down being quasi permanently depressed  saw the doctors etc but in the end some people just have really bad things happen i guess and dont recover  i bet that money and prior standing in life probably play into effect im a little weak for letting it or using it as a reason to not have the energy to change and to say ooh im such a victim because my sister did this but to change anything about my lifestyle that i dont like seems impossible i feel im in the midst of this hell that ive been sent to endure losing my sister sent me on a dark journey downward that to this day i am still recovering from  it was march of  i am  years old when you learn life isnt fair or the way you think its gonna be or be a perfect life its pretty hard to deal with mentally  i wish it had been me and not her she had so much more positive energy than me she was adopted and had a really hard start and to see her grow up and to go through all of that to lose her in such a shocking  dramatic and permanent way isnjust something ill never understand living sucks and then you die  whats the point of waiting  but i couldnt do to my family what she did to us already  to live without happiness is like torture and knowing she isnt coming back makes it feel like this whole world is just a fake a torture test  i wonder how people get so happy and pretentious and snobby ive only ever felt lonely inadequate  and sorry fuck the forces of the world that allow these terrible lives to even be lived i wish a government or movement would change to be good for once to help us to actually try to make us happy instead of taxing us and forcing us into job farms to work as serfs in the system  fffffffck,3.0
33087,is never finishing anything a symptom so when i was younger i did all the things literally i was in choir soccer volleyball horseback riding violin orchestra and a selectspecial orchestra pit orchestra girl scouts honor roll swear i missed a fewi did it all and probably more my wife likes to tell me that i didnt have a proper childhood because i was always going somewhereever since i left hscollege i love doing nothing i am also an only child and an extreme introvert like can happily talk to nobody including my wife sometimes for days extreme as in a remote cabin in the woods sounds lovely sometimesanyway i have a habit of not finishing things or just getting bored thats not to say it doesnt interest me at first because it does years ago i tried to pick up the violin again and for a while to me but realistically it was probably a month or two maybe barely that i got bored and stoppedi took up photography years ago even took a class which was a struggle to go to sometimes and bought a camera but these days i dont even have the camera i loaned it out to a semi friend and while ive missed it fleetingly a few times for the most part i forget its gone yet i was pretty excited at the time to get one and to get into photographybut seriously nothing holds my attention at least not long term  i wish i could say that i dont get excited about anything because at least that i understand the problem is i do its just not enough this is the case for everything in my lifedoes anyone else relate did anyone else get over this how do you keep up the motivation to do something if you dont even feel like doing itif left to my own devices id probably talk to no one except maybe a few times a week watch a ton of moviesnetflixtv that im severely behind on and read tons of books i know this is the case because ive done it many times,3.0
33088,zuzu bugger but always leave the audience wanting more ,0.0
33089,its a beautiful day the sun is shining and i will have a picnic  ,0.0
33090,so today we have learned that not only does laquer and enamel not mix but apparently laquer and laquer dont mix ,2.0
33091,off to go dress shopping ,0.0
33092,leighlockie �cont night shift lmao  hey its not long now till the  concert ,0.0
33093,i just walked around my silent house in boxers and tee it felt s relaxing  i should do it more often maybe when im not alone  hehe,0.0
33094,just found out driving to cairns would be like driving from melbourne to hereits even a little further than that ,2.0
33095,my kitty is sick im actually worried that she is dying she hasnt been able to keep anything down for the last few days ,2.0
33096, very bad huh ,2.0
33097,so bored who would have thought that paperwork could be so dull ,2.0
33098,freakpirate sorry i didnt get to see you and jodyroo ,2.0
33099,rt mjstarlover she didnt see her husband bragging about sexual assault on tape as disturbing she doesnt see his racistviolent ,2.0
33100,isanl thanks isa only the dvd they made isnt working also not on my laptop ,2.0
33101,edmundhulton the sad part is how many are accepting this as truth,1.0
33102,ramdomthoughts scott you do make me chuckle bags podcasts lenses have you taken any photos yet  ,0.0
33103,julieannstorr louiseroos kathydragon are you ladies all booked for saturday yet blogher meetup is on ,0.0
33104,girliesportsfan nope not raining here yet bad sign for us though ,2.0
33105, you make me feel so crazy  i really feel you baby  ,0.0
33106,tired of pretending i find school to be exhausting i talk with my friends they make me laugh i make them laugh socializing with people and pretending everything is fine it is just sucking my energy i find myself at the edge of crying im like ok thats done for today now im going to stay in bed until next day,3.0
33107,eliminated from  again ,2.0
33108,it is hot hot hot hot today and im diggin it the sun is up the sky is blue what could possibly go wrong ,0.0
33109,i lost my boyfriend and my job in the same day im not the type of person to say i wanna kill myself bc me and my boyfriend broke up but losing my job in the same daydamn life fucking blows ,3.0
33110,finally the sun comes out  poolside at last,0.0
33111,got silvester back hes all happy with his new wheels ,0.0
33112,home from the city wish i was still out there i hate feeling sickly ,2.0
33113,feeling kind of shitty today ,2.0
33114,premad at this point im thinking more about what my first drink will be after the mcat than actually studying ,0.0
33115,starting back at the bank tomorrow  no summer break for this teacher  ,2.0
33116,nothing is wrong everything is great but i still feel suicidal im not even sure if im depressed but every few days i crash and have this strong feeling of killing myself i have thoughts about suicide throughout most days but nothing big just a passing thought im constantly waiting for whatever im doing to do over and moving on to the next thing i feel like im never in the moment but every time i think i have depression i just think about all the moments i am actually fine but why do i keep coming to this subreddit and googling depression symptoms its been years and im still in this weird limbo i dont know even writing this i feel like im overreacting not sure what i want to get by posting this maybe someones opinion ive never really expressed my thoughts about this to anyone maybe this is normal and everyone feels this way anyway thanks for reading this mess,3.0
33117,a long rant okay guys im done im so so done with everything i cant take the pain and the cutting remarks from my own parents anymore i cant take the sharp sting of obvious rejection anymore i cant laugh or even smile anymore because i dont have anymore reason to do so i dont think ive laughed like a normal person ie nonmaniacally in weeks i know i cant give up and all that crap but im so tempted to ive had it ive taken all i can take been the bearer of all i can bear the weight on me is getting to be too much too heavy too strong its only a matter of time before i give in ive had it i cared too much and now im done caring and i cant take any more pain im done guysim giving upim not killing myself but from now on  im staying silentmy silence does not mean im agreeing or accepting what you do to me it means i am tired of justifying myself over and over and over it means i am in extreme pain and i cant bring myself to care about anyone else anymore it means im here for the people who were here the longest it doesnt mean that im abandoning the few who were here for the longest it means im tired of caringit means i am just trying to lose everyone as quickly as possible so i wont feel guilty when i finally drag that razor across my wrist or overdose on those pillsit means i am trying to move on as quietly as i can,3.0
33118,need to make lunch for kids  but eyes are constantly watering and im sneezing and stuffy  not feeling very well today ,2.0
33119,rt namidelaware  be visible and vocal about mental health care attend a town hall meeting and post on socia ,0.0
33120,we need more kindhearted people in the world you know there are a lot of really good people in this world there are millionaires giving away money to less fortunate people there are heroes whos main job is to save the lives of others and there are people who just like to make the world a happier placehowever there also seems to be an even greater number of people who simply dont care one thing that seems to depress me the most is the fact that there are so many people that have zero regard for the people around them it pains me to see so many people get hurt or end up in terrible places due to the sole fact that someone was so caught up in their own little world that it ruined someone elses daybasically i just wish more people knew how to be considerate of others around them if someone is already very close to the end one little thing could be the deciding factor and the other person may never know what they had done and the outcome of said actionim infinitely grateful for those of you who are understanding and caring you guys are what makes this world slightly more survivable if you havent yet today make someone smile even if its just yourself this world is a harsh place the least we can do is be kind to ourselves and each other,3.0
33121,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
33122,depression sucks gimme the drugs,1.0
33123, cup brown rice salad with tomatoes corn avocado strawberry onions few pretzel sticks with peanut butter   ugh ate too much ,2.0
33124,shapeshealth i dont want to kill myself haha ,0.0
33125,queenienyc the one i briefly considered and now wish id purchased has already disappeared from the listing ,2.0
33126,torikelly reallyhumany special reason i would have to beermyouloolit would be fun  be a amazing singer  the day ,0.0
33127,do you know what makes eating fun though finding out later that there was beer in your food no wonder im flashin  smiles ,0.0
33128, i need some clients now  haha,2.0
33129,foreverchris  old memories of the summer  but also bad,0.0
33130,rt yanticxs you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your,1.0
33131, no  sry try again,2.0
33132,is ill at home  so not good missing putting up my exhibition at college today because of it,2.0
33133,gnaucky baha i should of filmed it i looked crazy but its  unless the typed lyrics were wrong i swear my mum sais im cool  ,0.0
33134,fuzzynerds i dont think its weird it makes me sad too ,2.0
33135,down i go again ive been battling cycles of depression and anxiety for over ten years now each one seems worse than the last i was diagnosed with adhd about  years ago and i hoped that treating that would prevent another depressive cycle i think its delayed this one but its hitting hard now i keep trying to battle my way up but i can just feel that scrapped out hollow emptiness taking over and i hate it i dont want to do this again i have kids i need to be there for them support them care for them i can barely get out of bed all i want to do all day is go back to bed im not necessarily tired i just would rather be sleeping where i dont have to feel anything im not suicidal i dont want to die but i wish i could just fade away disappear out of reality and memory i wonder if this will be the time my husband resents me enough that hell be done how many more cycles can my marriage survive how many can i he sent me to bed because he kept feeling more anger each time he saw me laying on the couch while the kids ate dinner i dont want to be broken anymore,3.0
33136,i love daniels last line in homecoming and how it echoes the movie very nice touch  ,0.0
33137,ditlev awesome job you are doing with vpsnet love the service and best of luck to you all ,0.0
33138,rt  update cold n sadhavent done this in a while,2.0
33139,cant get help running out of hope how many other people lay in bed at night praying that theyll die in their sleep i know its unlikely because of my age  but maybe ill have an aneurysm or something something thats not my fault but would still shuffle me off the mortal coil without any of my family or friends hating me for it ive been depressed for more than  years now though i wasnt diagnosed right away i started feeling sick all the time  tired aching all over headaches and nausea that the doctors couldnt figure out i was in middle school when it started by high school my symptoms were bad enough they had me tested for everything from diabetes to lymes disease to mono to cancer nothing tested positive so they finally sent me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with anxiety amp depression when i was  i started taking pills which i was on until i was almost  my insurance ran out on my  birthday and i knew i wouldnt be able to pay for them so i weaned myself off and convinced my therapist that i was getting better i havent been back to one since over a decade struggling with this with no insurance  i cant afford it ive always fallen into the cracks i make too much money to qualify for help but not enough to afford it on my own there have been some rough times but ive only experienced occasional passive suicidal ideation until recently my life has been shit but ive been muddling through somehow abusive father toxic home life a childhood that conditioned me to feel lime if i wasnt perfect or giving it  i was a failure more abuse in my romantic relationships manipulation cheating the whole package because i feel worthless and hey you find the relationships you think you deserve right and im so desperate for this aching feeling inside me to go away that i try to find someone to fix me someone to lovevalue me i keep finding the assholes who take advantage of broken people or the white knights who try to fix me but end up getting hurt when they cant but ive always kept going somehow just pushed through it put one foot in front of the other til now i feel like ive fallen on my face and cant get back upin the past year my anxiety and depression have spiralled out of control ive ruined friendships amp relationships through a cycle of clinginess and paranoia ive recently been fired from work for missing too many days when i just could not get out of bed logically speaking i know its just chemicals in my brain i have so many relatives who struggle with depression amp anxiety and a grandfather i never knew because he killed himself when my father was a kid so i hold out some hope that i could get treatment get meds again and maybe feel a little better but its a cruel kind of hope that just makes me angry at how unfair everything is because my friends tell me get help they dont seem to understand that i cant i still dont have insurance and cant afford a visit i now dont have a job so i thought maybe i could try the local free clinic but when i called to make an appointment just the initial meeting for qualification is a two month wait for an appointment after i qualify id have to wait longer for an appointment to see an actual doctor i dont think i will last that longive been fantasizing about killing myself i already know exactly how id do it so that none of my roommates would find my body i dont want to traumatize them the really awful thing is i dont think i even really want to die im just terrified of living with this feeling for the rest of my natural life im tired of feeling exhausted and hurting im tired of having no motivation yet a selfloathing for having accomplished nothing im tired of feeling like a burden on the few friends that i talked to about my depression im tired of feeling alone and unloved im tired of worrying that the best years of my life are behind me but most of all im tired of not having the energy to do anything about any of it,3.0
33140,ummmm yea i wanna be sedated 😭 httpstcofqwpxryhci,1.0
33141,fuck im hungry why dont they have oreo shakes  strawberry smoothie i guess,2.0
33142,starting vyvanse soon looking for advice for context i am a  year old female   lbsi got diagnosed with depression amp bipolar disorder  years ago and have been on and off various mood stabilizers and antidepressants since then with little to no success i recently started seeing a new psychiatrist who wants to start me on vyvanse for my low mood and lack of energy as well as the  lbs ive gained in the past year due to the worsening depressionive been reading a good bit about vyvanse and honestly im a bit scared about taking it and im not sure if it would be worth it im adopted so i have no knowledge of family history of addiction and i understand stimulants can be quite addictive i think im most worried about becoming addicted and needing to stay on the drugs forever to feel normal im also worried about the comedowns because ive heard it can be pretty awful when the drug wears offid love to hear some of your experiences with vyvanse and how it has affected you and whether or not it was worth it for you any other advice you have for me is also greatly appreciated,3.0
33143,how can i help my friend my friend is an introvert and he is really shy theres a girl that he indirectly likes he keeps thinking about her and gets jealous if some guy or say any guy talks to her in the college he even warned a guy to stay away from her and also called a guy who he thought was talking to her just to check and he sometimes spaces out becomes blank and tears start coming from his eyeshe also says and thinks that everyone in the college is better than him and he is a hopeless piece of shit and also that he doesnt have any talent or whatsoever and just wants to give upme and my other friend are trying everything we can to help him but we are limited by the business in our own individual lives what do we do to help him,3.0
33144,i cant find joy in anything and i constantly feel painfully lonely and hopeless i suffer from severe depression its often feels almost impossible to do the simplest of tasks like putting away a shirt or brushing my teeth im an artist as a profession and music creator as a hobby but recently find absolutely no joy in either of those things i see many of my friends off and doing cool things with other people but i just feel terribly alone i find myself constantly frustrated at not being able to do things especially the things i thought that i loved i end up sucking hours away into shows and video games because theyre the only thing that can distract me from my terrible mind my mom is very supportive but my dad completely doesnt understand mental illness and constantly attacks verbally me for not doing productive things or working hard i could go on forever lamenting about my problems but ill cut it here haha any advice or ideas for helping this problem everything online seems so trivial or generalized be happier by doing this have a positive attitude so i thought id make a simple post reaching out to fellow depressed souls who might actually understand haha ,3.0
33145,teemwilliams why do u get so embarrassed when you hear one of your songs on the radio do you not like being recognized ,2.0
33146,sarahintheskyy yay its yesterdayschildhotmailcouk ,0.0
33147,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
33148,neutral  havent felt actually happy in years i wouldnt say i have depression ive also never been to a therapist or really talked about this stuff with anyone but basically i havent really been happy in probably five years i can confidently say my life was happier and overall better around five years ago and has been pretty downhill since then a few things happened that all separately had a pretty negative impact on me kind of just snowballed all into one but i dont spend a lot of time thinking about them none of it will really wreck my day they just pop into my head occasionally and will think about it for a few seconds and then think about something elsesome days i feel pretty depressed other days i feel completely fine im in school in a program i enjoy i have a lot of good friends and family members i work often and have some good hobbies i work out pretty often but if i could rate my happiness level id probably say its been on average about a  or  for  years  not depressed but not happy eitherdont really know what im trying to get at with this post just want to hear some other opinions if this has happened to someone else and maybe some recommendations,3.0
33149, c u all tweeters    going to c a movie,0.0
33150,rt sitegringotes hi jkrowling how are you where is the title of fantastic animals  do not kill us with anxiety e ae vamo divulga,2.0
33151,mwproductions well ty ,0.0
33152,my mom told me to kill myself already ive been a burden to my family because of my depression and its really sad to know that this is how they see me,3.0
33153,im so tired my mental health has really gone to shit college is so hard for me i have no motivation to go to classes and its impacting my grade very badly i want to drop out or just take a year off college to try and improve my mental health but im afraid thats only going to make me more depressed because ill have nothing to do i dont know what i want to do with my life i hate my major i feel no passion for it at all and i just hate it it doesnt help that i got broken up with because im really depressed im dreading my classes and im already failing  or  of them and the thing is that i dont even care im just so apathetic to everything now i could lay in bed for days just looking at the ceiling im trying to see therapists again but my first meeting with her went horribly and i really dislike my therapist i set up an appointment with someone else but thats more than a month away and i feel like i just need help as soon as possible i really want to take medicine for my depression but  i dont have access to a psychiatrist and i dont even know how i would go about seeing one i feel like everything in my life is set to fail my relationships my schoolwork my job i just dont want to do any of it anymore ,3.0
33154,ow i have myself a headache again  ,2.0
33155,five different ballots  around a hundred choices voting done ,0.0
33156,cryomancy thats what privates are for imo that and suicidal depression,2.0
33157,i feel a bit ill  too much ice cream and dancing i think,2.0
33158,mandyva prob not too much time  show in va beach  we are working half day and then driving there and its bout  hrs away,2.0
33159,showed up late to media and am now in a quiz team by myself ,2.0
33160,rt trevormoran tana just shut down my younow bc she had anxiety ewwww,2.0
33161,rt itsmariiiah i dont feel sad i dont feel happy  just  empty numb,1.0
33162,sbray i want to have fiji water  my parents are like just get volvic  so i have never tried the beautifulness ,0.0
33163,i haz headache ,2.0
33164,how to be supportive of friend with depression hi guys im currently a psychology major in college and my friend from back home who ive been close with is suffering from chronic depression i shared that im a psychology major junior because it almost makes me overthink everything i do for her i want to be there and support her as much as possible shes been so down and unable to enjoy anything shes on an antidepressant but is in the processing of changing some of her meds around which is making her somewhat suicidal she tried to commit suicide before and now when she talks about it and acknowledges that she wouldnt want to do it anymore because she realized the first time around how many people cared about her this is great but she still feels like she absolutely cannot enjoy any activities and feels like she has no purpose in life shes productive and goes to work every day and school but shes starting to drop off in this area when she talks to me about her feelings she always vocalizes how much she hates being negative and feels like everyone is only her friend so she doesnt kill herself i always assure her this isnt the case but i know shes convinced herself otherwise im looking for advice on how to be there for her and make her realize im here because i love her and want to be her friend not because i feel too guilty to abandon her this might be a really dumb question because i should know this stuff being as my major is psychology but i feel like im never supporting her enough ive been depressed before but never to her extent and never suicidal so i dont know what she wants to hear sometimes ,3.0
33165,i feel like im slowly fading into the background ive been trying so hard lately to be happy whether through new medications new eating habits new workouts new outlooks and no matter what ive done or told my therapist i just feel like im sinking so slowlyslowly enough that no one really notices or pays any mind but soon enough ill completely fade away i dont think anyone will notice i try to reach out and im left feeling even worse offim so tired of being alone and treading water im so fucking tired,3.0
33166,my mom told me her life would be over if i killed myself and thats the only reason i havent done it its strange because i believe her i feel like i shouldnt but i do life is constant pain even when people love you,3.0
33167,woke up feeling kind of sick  cough sniff sniff,2.0
33168,hopefully found a job ,0.0
33169,after  months feeling generally happy i am falling back into depression  i am staying inside more spending more time on my phone and  not socializing with anyone except my close friends im spending less time on homework which is affecting grades and ruining relationships with teachers i have been a pretty good student for normallyi recently broke up with a girlfriend of  months who was very controlling and hindered my ability to be my own person and while it has been nice to be out of that situation i feel unwanted the people i like dont have any interest in me and im just another normal not popular kinda weird dude that plays a sport no one is interested in baseball my closest friends are the only people i really talk to and hang out with but other than the  people i dont talk to anyone else  of the  have girlfriends and the  is friends with all of them so im usually left out and i just sit on my phone during breaks ive also started being very quiet in my classes always hiding behind a hood or jacket never speaking unless called onmy week consists of school baseball coming home to do homework for an hour then going to bed my weekends are me eating too much food and sitting on the couch watching tvi had a problem with selfharm in   and  grade but i stopped doing it in  because i got sick of doing it and it didnt helpi dont think i am unattractive even though i used to hate how i looked and i have been asked how i am still single but no one seems to like me at all i am  about  pounds not as skinny as my brother was because i lift for baseball so ive go muscle and dont just look like a stick and im  years old all i want is to feel wantedim sick of being that one kid that no one cares about,3.0
33170, it does still waiting for ours  cant wait to get hands on hopefully not too long to wait now,2.0
33171,finally got my laptop back ,0.0
33172,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
33173,finding sad songs to listen to at  ,2.0
33174,i feel sad for him i hope hell be okay soon,1.0
33175,night everyone  thanks for all the ff  amp hello to new followers ,0.0
33176,watching a cool thunderstorm from my patio also just almost knocked over chair not cuz of storm im just a klutz ,0.0
33177,replying to a message from an mgf friend who is also a myspace and mfi friend  ,0.0
33178,davidarchie david can i ask you a question ,0.0
33179,rt auntiesblock actually understanding mental health ,0.0
33180,tomorrow i have to go clock radio shopping i also want to buy lanterns and fairy lights  im going for a new look for my room,0.0
33181,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
33182,athinkingman thanks poor little love ,2.0
33183,musefy needs help if youre good with htmlcssjavascriptajax and want to join a startup with a very solid idea let me know ,0.0
33184,ramielemalubay lolwhaaaaaat my profile name is syesha mercado im the pic with the bathing suite in bampw ,0.0
33185,need advice hey guys how do you guys deal with intense emotions,3.0
33186,kjofficial oh dear thats my husband glued to the tele all afternoon then give him a wave wont you ,0.0
33187,porridge with nutmeg rasberries and honey  mmmm,0.0
33188,im sooooo tirredddd  i fucking hate exams im gunna failllllll,2.0
33189,rectah i am a fan dont make me feel so bad  i made a promise and i gotta keep it and its not gonna be the last game of the season,2.0
33190,wethewest goodmorning brother have a productive day ,0.0
33191,gervaist gasp you tooooootally went without me boo  did ya see the banner i designed ,2.0
33192,rt xchamya you stress less once you stop giving a fuck,2.0
33193,i want to change but i dont have the staminaresilience ive made a couple of posts on this sub before i tend to use it as an opportunity to vent everything that im feeling which ive found cathartic in the past at the moment my moods been better than it has been for a long time however theres still areas in my life which i think can be improved the main one im trying to tackle is procrastination ive probably read my weight in self help books and i think ive identified the reason i procrastinate the problem is actually just sitting down and doing the thing whether its applying for jobs finishing my project or exercising regularly i just dont have the physical or mental stamina to do any of these things let alone balance all the tasks that need to be done ive tried eating more and healthier improving my sleep pattern and practicing mindfulness meditation but i cant seem to knock it on the head and its becoming pretty frustratingi dont want to be someone who wastes their life behind a computer screen i want to be organised and productive working constantly on important tasks i just cant seem to muster up the energy or the drive to be that person any advice would be really helpful,3.0
33194,neilhimself your hair is one of your defining features without it you would feel less niely to me ,0.0
33195,has my depression cured on its own i have struggled with depressionanxiety and cptsd of the major part of my life of a yera and a half i was doing really wellas if nothing was ever wrong in my head but around march  i relapsed into depression i was in a really dark place and tried to kill myself i didnt get the medical help i so desperately needed and was denied any help from my family around the january of  started to feel better like suddenly i could see some light in the tunnel ppl around me told me i am looking betterand maybe i am cured i do have more energy and mental stability now i am not stuck to my bed for weeks and i laugh for real and like things genuinely i havent made any changes in life or got medications or anything it was as if the dark fogg has suddenly lifted on its own is this even possible can it get cured on its own or am i just recovering to relapse even harder truly i dont ever wanna go back to that place please tell me what is happening,3.0
33196,kellystraycat gotta think positive  you could crack ,0.0
33197,tambravo cool  i want to go to a hauted houseeeee  but i know i wont enter lol,2.0
33198,next is gljufura on july  was a week too early in andakilsa  will try again later this summer elsewhere all gear in perfect order,2.0
33199,yoboseiyo thanks im over the moon ,0.0
33200,katkick morning  its beautiful here too pools open this weekend i think i know where i will be lol have a great day,0.0
33201,i cant wait until july  will be over and maybe ill finally get a break everything is too stressful right now help ,2.0
33202, and here i thought it meant too many cakes pies amp take out  i like your version better god it is,0.0
33203,randbay me in like  min but you treat me like im not fam and never reply to me   lmao,2.0
33204,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
33205,alauderdale smh  playing dress up lol i cant see the vid though its not working ,2.0
33206,why i hate not being one of those most beautiful girls that have it all im stuck with an irreversible medical condition that is causing my major depression and fatigue and causing traits in my body and face to become well ugly i seriously cant bare the thought of trying to live another year through this fatigue and depression let alone physical changes that prevent me from talking to or seeing anybody idk how much more i can take of this and nooooo one in my life not one person understands this condition and i feel so isolated,3.0
33207,mattstratton   awesome thanks buddy ,0.0
33208,its lunch time another frozen dinner ,2.0
33209,n e ways ill try not stay in this bird app today tl is mourning and the whole situation is just sad,1.0
33210,heading to the preachers house for breakfast  yum yum  ,0.0
33211,thinking of japanizing my name 改崎����� would be nice ,0.0
33212,megajustice sounds really cool  sad that i can not present a track record of vp marketing yet ,0.0
33213,i wish i had friends i dont know what to do anymore my life is extremely boring and i barely have any social interactions at all the only people i ever talk to are my family and i dont even conversate with them just things like hi and bye my life is just sitting on a chair everyday playing video games and browsing the internet i dont have any friends irl and i rarely talk to people online too i am posting here because i honestly just feel like i want to die and sometimes i have panic attacks i feel like im just living in a dream and that life isnt real i feel like i am nothing completely useless and worthless and most days i dont have anyone to express myself or to talk to ,3.0
33214,and i also just eat medicine lol and yuck i dont like it but i also gonna eat it lol ,2.0
33215,honesty is overrated my girlfriend knew id been really struggling this week but i had kept from her how awful things were i had a crash and have been struggling to cope while reassuring all my friends and girlfriend it is only temporary tonight we had a long heart to heart and i told her i was trying to manage dealing with suicidal thoughts everyday and she called me selfish and thoughtless and we are no longer speaking so much for the idea that people who love you will always try and be there for you ,3.0
33216,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
33217,hair loss bums me out pillfinasteride can have negative effects on neuronal functioningdepression oh well took it ill keep you guys updated i have determined that im just anxious about my return to college and maybe going through a career midlife crisismy general sadness isnt really comparable to some folks in this community so i wont complain i just feel bummed out that i havent made much progress towards my career path also im freaking baldingi think im using variety tv shows as escapism as i always fantasize and wonder what life would be like if i was them tomorrow im going to follow up on the schedule ive set myself up with and study be productiveim still not sure if im depressed or just going through a small phase of the blues maybe its just really mild but then who doesnt have depression then,3.0
33218,rt mochimanggae hows a liscensed mental health professional out here calling ppl that share stories about their own mental health throug,2.0
33219,vicariousills i hope so cos the course is paid for ,2.0
33220,liverpooltx   ahhhtook me a bit to figure that out can you picture me all ova you    nice,0.0
33221,what a beautiful day to be at the driving range too bad i cant golf  ,2.0
33222,endlessblush you can do that  you never said  are we organizing a night t your place as mupp suggested,0.0
33223,interweavenews thanks for the link that is rad ,0.0
33224,what a lovely sunday oh heat i couldnt care less for i am meeting my beau later and youre not going to spoil it  ,0.0
33225,i think everyone but me is out in the sun  no tweets for hours no phonecalls at work since about  no emails at all today  ,2.0
33226,richardwilko just had a  hour demo to clients and still feel like crap interviewing later ,2.0
33227,my cousin who is a struggling artist just called for  his paintings r not selling  tryn to make extra money  send kids  college,2.0
33228,can already tell its a good day  lets take it one step at a time,0.0
33229,will my car ever be cleaned again i am or was a neat freak i dont want to get up and clean my car or even my room really so this is what makes me so mad then sad my room is a goddamn mess and  me would be so pissed about how dirty my car is i used to clean my car every saturday i havent cleaned my car since  im too sad 🤷🏻‍♀️ stay dirty my friend ,3.0
33230,bed time probably ,2.0
33231,lostlight yes its fun but it still hasnt activated my plan yet ,2.0
33232,just finished doing the quotstreet appealquot to the front for the open house tomorrow had to do it myself since the stagers didnt come down ,2.0
33233,recebella ohh yeaa i hate when it gets to that point cuz it seem like its nvr gnna come out amp just wen u ready to cry there it go lol ,2.0
33234,whataboutken thanks awesome you will have the whole weekend off ,0.0
33235,the bathroom door seems to be broken dilema had a shower in my housemates ensuite btw their bathroom is nearly the size of my bedroom ,2.0
33236,dannydevil  heyyyy brother how r u,0.0
33237,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
33238,cant believe im still awake itz  sumthin n d  alredi i hate dz hmpffftt ,2.0
33239,having depression is so fucking lonely having depression while having a partner sucks a lot one moment i need him another i just want to be alone and i push him away but when im alone i need someone i dont know what i want i cant be honest with my words im afraid to come off needy and clingy my depression has gotten the worst of me i tried many ways to be cured of it but it just keeps coming back the psychiatrist the pills the counsellor didnt help at all its all up to me and im so weak im trying my best i cant help but feel suicidal i dont want to impose on anyone around me anymore so i keep my thoughts to myself im not the only one with problems i dont even know who i am anymore im tired of myself i dont understand myself meeting him was supposedly a blessing and truly it was at the start when i received the love i had once forgotten after my family broke apart when i received the attention i was lacking since primary school when everyone suddenly turned their backs on me i loved him way too much not just for the love and attention he gave me once but because of him i was able to open up once more and became genuinely happy i became so happy i was able to share my days with someone i love showered him with gifts and affection gave all of me and showed sides of me no one else have ever seen i was happy because he was the person i had been looking for it was all shortlived he may not realize it but i do distance keep growing between us countless of heartbreak broke me into pieces my depression which was once not as active when i first got to be with him came back even worse dating with depression is so hard just being myself is hard i dont know what i want myself how could i know what i want from him having depression is so fucking lonely you want to be with someone but youre not strong enough to fight it so peoplewill tell you to sort yourself out first but at the same time when youre alone its even harder especially when noone is supporting you at all theyre just being fake i need to fix myself and i have to keep trying i just really want to get out of this place its so suffocating ,3.0
33240,busy weeklast week of teaching for the year richs  birthday and collin is due ,0.0
33241,idk whos to blame but verizonrim just dumbed out for like  mins ,2.0
33242,rococovintage yeah its the same with spotify licencing issues i think ,2.0
33243, ugh lucky i go til june  ,2.0
33244,after the event i hope to do a double feature for up and the hangover ,0.0
33245,magieabangsaufi yup you can get the info easily faster than e ,0.0
33246,my head hurts ,2.0
33247,literally in so much pain shits sad,2.0
33248,i have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow i should probably get some rest spotify stay awake and be sad you piece ,2.0
33249,a friend of mine hasnt responded to my texts in  weeks she struggles with depression and anxiety ive asked her if she needed space but she didnt say yes or no unsure what to do before she went silent on me i let her know im a long message that id be there for her and that she wont lose me because of this i apologized for it being a long message and she told me it wasnt that long thats the last ive heard from herwe met on okcupid went out and everything went well then she started feeling down and told me she suffers from depression she went quiet on me but started to come back around we were going to hang out again but she went silent again and said that she was sorry and that she was feeling down ive been constantly reminding her that she has my love and support and that we can worry about being friends or something more later the past few days ive checked in on her but no response this is the longest shes gone im worried that ill push her away if i contact her too much but dont want her to think ive given up on her i also let her know that i wont let her push me away she has two good friends thats it i have a feeling it because she gets like this and pushes people away i could really use some perspectives and advice ive done a lot of reading about this and this is common so i feel better about the situation as im trying not to take it personally i know its possible shes ghosting me as has happened to me on dating apps a lot but ive let her know she can tell me if shes not interested anymore and id still be a friend honestly if i didnt know she had depression i wouldve stopped texting her awhile ago and assumed she wasnt interested,3.0
33250,im grounded  i injured my foot and flittering really hurts i  cant help feeling a little useless performing today,2.0
33251,high getting to hang out with the  crew this weekend  low going in to work today ,2.0
33252,yay jeff daniels the leading light of the metro detroit theatre community  ive always wanted to go to his purple rose theatre,0.0
33253,i just noticed my boots have a hole in the sole ,2.0
33254,i added a video to a youtube playlist  piano music  my lonely road  sad piano song  piano solo instrumental,1.0
33255,back from a fun evening session with a cute family and thai food afterwards i leave az in the morning bright n early ,2.0
33256,stomach flu its the shits ,2.0
33257,emmabmth  im pretty sure it will be,0.0
33258,bad news today ,2.0
33259,sorry to hear about the postponement polansky  that sorta thing must be very frustrating ,2.0
33260,graduation boy it feels good alumni status acheived ,0.0
33261,direct switch from celexa to wellbutrin hi all im a bit nervous about my switch i have been taking celexa  for about  months and its not working for me to get out of my funk i talked to my doc today and told him and he switched me to wellbutrin  im excited to try it and hope it works my concern is that im just switching cold turkey i took celexa last night and tonight im taking wellbutrin with no tapering has anyone else done that and felt okay should i call tomorrow and ask about tapering he said it should be fine but reading some old posts has me scarred thanks in advance,3.0
33262,i lost my gay best friend my best friend of  years confessed to me that he is gay and is in love with me im straight married with two children i told him im fine with him being gay but he wants to touch my body he was begging and crying and even willing to pay me i said no thats when he said he needs to go away because being with me makes him fall in love with me more this all happened  months ago and we havent talkedseen each other since hes very fun to be with we have the same hobbies and used to go skiing every winter i miss him for the sports and laughter friendship do you think its wise for me to call him or should i wait for him to make first contact i dont think he ever will do you think time heals or our friendship is over,3.0
33263,not able to import yahoo  zip file to worpress  help ,2.0
33264,relevantideas get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
33265,gettin tacos and going to michaels ,0.0
33266,just accidentally hit my hand on the desk yes the hand that has the huge bruise on it i felt a tear wow that hurt ,2.0
33267,burn a muslim is a pencil necked geek ,0.0
33268,i luv this kind of weather especially at night its so dangerous and scary kinda like myself ,0.0
33269,omg i am like so fucking excited and happy and stuff i love jason so much and i cant wait for the show and our family vacation ,0.0
33270,hoancai welcome ,0.0
33271,donnapatjc business is going very well indeed  creationcentre is available for resellers and people are knocking the door downawesome,0.0
33272,seemingly stuck in a severely dark place im sorry but i have no where else to vent please be aware that this may potentially be nsfw since i mention sexual frustrations but i have crippling depression that i take medicine for and its been getting worse it has hit the point where i constantly think about suicide but i cant tell anyone because i know i will never do it and i dont want my family to worry i have a son that i love and made a promise that i would do everything i can to be in his life hes literally the one saving me so no ill never kill myself but its seemingly been on my mind but i feel like im losing my wife we have a fetish that we usually have fun with together but it has crossed some boundaries with my consent at first but now its developed to where she has fallen for another guy shes assured me that she is more or less polyamorous with us two that i am much more important because i am her home and she has a family that she has enough love to encompass me and him thinking i could handle it i allowed her to express herself however im seeing her happier than ever and i am beginning to realize that i dont make her feel they way shes feeling now that she was once completely mine now has to be shared with someone else to make it worse shes withholding sex from me until she sees him next which wont be for another few months since it was sort of the fetish we use to play along with ive expressed concern and asked her not to withhold it but she just shrugs it off informing me that he had asked her and she thought it would be fun to tease me its not fun and ive told her that my depression has made me close up from her causing me to push her away weve been fighting for a few weeks now shes been trying to show me affection and love shes been doing a lot for me but i cant seem to get past this hurtle of pain and darkness shes really a good person even though this may paint her in a bad light i just have demons that i cant shakei asked her today if she would consider ending it with the other guy if i asked her to which she said she would but added she would be severely depressed for a long while i dont want her to resent me for it so i have made some decisions no longer will i ask her for any sexual favors  i need a mental break from rejection and disappointment im stepping up and making sure that my son grows up in a happy family which her and i agreed the third will not be known by any friends or family no longer will i fight or push her away ive told her i dont want to know anything about those two anymore i guess if i end up losing her then what happens happens im just going to focus on being the best father i can be working on improving my mood and enjoying the other things in lifei just wish i could get rid of these suicidal thoughts get out of this darkness stop being tired all the time ,3.0
33273,maskwèdèk on the vokal you stay kerkal no stress  wynwood art district ,2.0
33274,gingerswan i concur ,0.0
33275,tiaaaaa you killed him  i am in a state of shock can i revive him and keep him for myself,2.0
33276, i have a cold and am feeling sorry for myself  wont be in tomorrow btw  prob for the best id only complain all day lol,2.0
33277,if tonight was anything like summer i cant wait ,0.0
33278,hates it when she cant concentrate at all ,2.0
33279,meetin  for darts and a drink gotta spend as much time there as i can ,2.0
33280, gm filed for bankruptcy  warranty issues get an  awesome sav ,0.0
33281,is telling a person they can ask you for help when they are feeling depressed and cutting themselves wrong sorry if this is a stupid question i just want to help,3.0
33282,killing myself my drinking is taking me over how did you get out of your lowest point,3.0
33283,i havent hung out with anyone in  months so this is what graduating high school is like  i leave my house only to go to work saying i havent hung out in  months would have been hilarious in high school considering i never hung out until the end of my senior year but at least in school you were forced to go somewhere with peers you could sometimes talk to now i live in isolation and boredomi should have expected this graduating with no lasting contactsrelationships seems to set you up for failure and i didnt even ask for ittime to numb the pain away with cannabis if it even works anymore,3.0
33284,poorly kitty cat  working from home to try and calm her down and clean the mess up,2.0
33285,where do i go reason to live i dont know where to start i had a plan when mom died i go too well mom died  years ago from cancer when she died the thought of offing myself wasnt there i hadhave a boyfriend that i love so much that really prevented it tbh he really opened up doors and shined light into my life that id never seen before i eventually move in with him and everything seems great but just steadily goes downhill there are so many factors the  ive gained since mom died lack of goalpassiondrive in life depression itself i started smoking pot after mom died and idk if that has hurt or help ive pretty much stopped drinking because of medications i need to mention that my bf is considerably older if you want to comment on the age difference than just gtfo pls and his ex gf love of his life died tragically and some ppl suspect him wrong and there was no autopsy does that whole situation fuck with my head yes and i dont know how to handle that part anymore i love this man more than anyone in my life but lately ive been down and second guessing he doesnt love me back he only loves his ex but he cares deeply about me and says he enjoys living with me we started dating months after she died so like this is still fresh to him his emotions and feelings and not having closure but idk i want to ride it out for time to heal all wounds but with my depression i dont see a point im having an incredibly difficult time with food lately too eating healthier and less its very hard and im so uninspired and unmotivated i guess my point is why should i keep kicking what should i live for how can i keep my paranoia at bay its been so bad lately i do see a therapist but i dont know what to say thats the other thing my speech is really getting fucked up not being able to pronounce words i had a speech impediment to begin with but its worsen and i literally cant put my thoughts into words when i need to mainly referring to my problems but others times too idk just how can i get better help for myself,3.0
33286,ohsojelly and juniors looking fluffy ,0.0
33287,i wish i wasnt such a loser i dont think i have ever won anything except this one award from  grade which was the most forgetful award i have never won a contest or competition no matter how hard i work at it how hard i work really doesnt even mean anything i guess i studied for  weeks for this midterm this morning that i honestly thought went well only to find out i just bombed the shit out of it i have another one in an hour and even though i was feeling super confident before i think ill probably fail this one too i must literally be destined to fail and lose at everything i actively pray everyday that some freak accident happens to me and i dont have to wake up ever again but i cant even win in that category either i dont know why i have dreams or goals anymore i can never reach them no matter how simple the worst part about all this is watching everyone around you succeed while youre doomed to fail dont get me wrong im happy when my friends make the deans list with minimal effort too or find the girl of their dreams or get that car they really wanted but i just wish it was me sometimes this world is so pointless to me i literally have nothing going for me,3.0
33288,damn sad no one complimented i and me dress ,2.0
33289,ive been out of a full time job for  months i was working at my dream company in my dream role for  years until they hired a ceo that hated everyone hired before heri was visciously emotionallymentally bullied by her  not even allowed in the office during work hourseventually the parent company had to let me go because they couldnt keep undermining her power to save me a lower level employee a hard working amp great one but ultimately still lower levelive been applying for all jobs that i have experience for every week for the past  months gotten some interviews only to be told it went to an internal candidateor been told my appearance lavender hair is embarrassing so they wouldnt extend an offer in a noncustomer facing roleive exhausted my professional resources for advice the industry i work in is slow right now to hire anyonemy parents fear losing their jobs this year as do my siblingsmy cat has health problemsi have a part time job that doesnt really gain money as its photography based and i invest money earned into props and equipment but its exposurelosing my dream job meant i lost all my friendsobviously cant vent to my familymost of my money goes to cat vet bills or photography project costsbut im worried about money and my savings are nearly depletedand theres no easy fix or good answer so the tldr is just that life sucks a lot right now and im tired and worn down and mourning my career,3.0
33290,marcftsk tell her i said hi woo ,0.0
33291,gawd i wish my cat would just be quiet ,2.0
33292,part  im now at my aunts house and things are getting better i still struggle with some things and probably will for a while im trying to be positive and though sometimes i cant i still try my hardest to help in anyway everything that i have dealt with lead me down a long dark road of well nothingness or a lot of negativity that shapped me to become someone else it was like i didnt even know who i was anymore and i was like that for years and tried my hardest to hid what i was feeling to hid all my emotions thats not easy to do now as of september   this is who i am i am a girl that has been through a lot but no longer wants that to define me i never did want it to define me but i gave up forget about giving up i dont want to be that person anymore i want to be me and even if i dont know what that consists of yet i will figure it out and become the best person i will ever be i am a girl who has a life ahead of her and even though i know there will be ups and downs and sometimes those downs suck and all those nightmares hurt and are so scary i dont want to be sared of a bad dream and i know i will most likey always be afraid of those nighmares but thats okay because people go through some tramatic things and they need help getting through it i have been so lucky to have the people that have been here in support of me when they didnt have to and i know i dont appreciate these people enough and i wish i could do more i am a person that wants to help people that have been through similar situations a person that will comfort these people a person that can relate to others and understand exsacly what they feel when they cant put what there feeling into words i want to be that person that will love those people that think nobody cares or nobody loves them ill be that person that will help you through that urge of cutting ill be the person you can come running to when your haveing a rough time i understand that people need love and they need someone that can understand them sure i may not understand everything but what i do know is that i am willing to at the cery least try and understand what another is going through i dont want to be a cutter anymore i never did want to be one i will not be a cuttter but i will help others who are through everything that i have been through i have learned a lot and i would say the main one would be the understanding of someones feelings i understand how you feel when your about to cut i understand the feeling of giving up i get it but now i also understand the fact that giving up is not worth it be the best person you can be and you dont have to please others but you should be happy with who you are and continue to grow as a person,3.0
33293,ok so change of plansnot feelin too well  staying in ,2.0
33294,im tired but cant fall asleep  ,2.0
33295,eleanorilu haha samee  carly shay who is a fictional character is l l,2.0
33296,how to overcome debt with depression imagine having everything you could ever dream of  imagine living in some of the most beautiful places around the globe an education and social life many would envy a beautiful wife and happy kids in august of  my best friend took his own life to be honest i never really understood depression much before this point i heard about it all the time and just thought unfortunately what most people think lazy sad just do it i dunno those kinds of things since that day ive never felt the same im  years old now and am struggling reddit i know a lot of people struggle out there trying to keep their nose to the grind i had a clean driving record for  years the year of his death i got into  vehicle accidents i felt like had melted inside my brain couldnt process things like it use to i lost my employment for a while due to this life without a car left me in a more challenging spot to find work sunk me deeper into depression and now a decent chunk of debt to toss into my worries ive since found decent employment that still leaves me with hardly anything just after the interest payments the kicker to this is i was screwed out of a promotion yesterdayi now understand what its like to not want to get out of bed not because im lazy because i mentally cant even choose to live ive thought about notes and who id mail them to or leave them for i cry myself to sleep everyday i watch as my girlfriend thrives wondering when shes gonna leave memy credit card reads  im  months behind on my property tax water bill due today and have  in my bank account my doggo has food till payday the lights are on and thats all that matters im a god damn mess reddit and i dont know what the heck to do ive applied for hundreds of jobs ive asked for raises and more responsibilities as well ive cut back starved kept my dog fed and have tried my best every day to chip away at this problem but have only paid barely kept the interest paid i feel like ive lost all ability to function properly to increase or learn new skills i truly feel like im unable to livewhere ever you are who ever you are keep your head up smile the world isnt fair what they say is true if you want something dont wait for it to come go out there and get it whatever obstacles you might face keep fighting ive had an horrendous start to the year that is still going to be mine if i dont make it reddit i love you guys,3.0
33297,until we start raising awareness about depression and other mental illnessesonly then would we realize how many lives we can save,1.0
33298,wellbutrin dose reduction has anyone decreased their dose of wellbutrin and experienced fatigue im on  sertraline and was on  of wellbutrin but it made me feel so stimulated i couldnt relax nor sleep im now on  sr and i feel pretty fatigued and unmotivated its my first day with reduced dose is this normal and something thatll pass,3.0
33299,just walked  miles nakered ,2.0
33300,patching things up again i wish i could ,2.0
33301, haha lol u must be ashamed of being french amp i hate  say it but i told ya so lol ,0.0
33302,im about to blast lights out  i never met dk   but dawn is following me  im so happy lol,2.0
33303,good morning my dads birthday is tomorrow and were celebrating it today so im gonna wrap my presents for him i got him  dvds ,0.0
33304,yeah just received my napp welcome pack  nice gifts,0.0
33305,  poor thing and your ebay tweet made me laugh out loud legitimately use this time to learn how to play the game bc i wish i had,2.0
33306,quotbeam me upquot is my new shit i twirled that  punk bar down in miami ,0.0
33307,packing up to go home ,2.0
33308,and im walking places  wheres my brolleyyyyyyy,2.0
33309,sdlolo some of it seems so unreal that guys would actually do that crap  its like common sense  i think im a good date ,0.0
33310,quotesnack well in that case ,0.0
33311,rt schoolfession when someone says dont be anxious and your anxiety is cured ,2.0
33312,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
33313,two less ,2.0
33314,feeling so low right now anyone else felt like things are getting easier and you realise your happy and you know it comes crashing down again well yeah thats it right now things were going so smoothly i found a new job quit the job i hated got a bigger house for my family thought things was going right with my partner then boom fine out my dad needs heart bypass surgery i think okay horrible news but hell be okay then the school asks to speak to me about my son because he has a small bruise on him and get safe guarding involved okay not good but i dont have anything to hide that gets cleared up no further action taken now my partner has just informed me that he doesnt know what he wants anymore right when i need him the most i dont know what to do i feel like i have no one i can feel myself drowning in my own thoughts and just feel so numb,3.0
33315,i had to have a starbux iced coffee this evening instead if intelligentsia coz i had a free coupon ,2.0
33316,taco bell hanging wryan then to megans house i think lets see what happens ,0.0
33317,kodo   yep ive been getting that a lot recently too ,2.0
33318,boshemia oh and when you butt in yeah i know ,0.0
33319,why am i up so early  soo tired,2.0
33320, day of weeks holiday  woo  job  clear semi blocked cesspit pipes  lovely ,2.0
33321,wow  my moms phone bill reached   pretty soon shell be blaming me for all the charges ,2.0
33322,rt baesballstan sad hours  ,2.0
33323,no show ,2.0
33324,angelaryan i know exactly what you mean my body hates me too   i never get enough protein hope you feel ,2.0
33325,mommy jus told me to kill myself  how rude,2.0
33326,  dave and i ,0.0
33327,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
33328,i wonder how i would look fat ,0.0
33329,danicapatrick we spaniards lose danica  my only chance to get some happiness is that you come into the  championship i support you,2.0
33330,me supports others and encourages self love and happinessalso me listens to brand new for  hours and then takes depression nap,0.0
33331,tryna get this left arm covered  i hit this plane next monthbut i dont know what  get ,2.0
33332,if i every once and a while visualize myself shooting myself in the head but have no want or intention of actually killing myself do these count as dangerous suicidal thoughts im pretty sure its just ocd acting up but i want to make sure and yes ive gotten professional help before for things,3.0
33333,tytryone good  u still missin yr daughter when are u gonna get to see her soon i hope,0.0
33334,jarlepetterson  brown beskyttes av mandelson som mente b burde bruke slør «gordon looks pretty dreadful without his face covered up»,0.0
33335,you all know im crazy but this is my new top  ,0.0
33336,time to sleep  gotta be up in  hours for a dentist appointment ,2.0
33337,oh yeah got a swim meet reaganz gona beat me i know it  lolz,2.0
33338,i so excited to see him ,0.0
33339,i am not the only traveller who has not repaid his debt anybody out there im feeling like shit right now sorry if this is not the right platform even though i had a great evening went on a date with a beautiful women had some great conversations with amazing people could open up about my feelings and had an honest and intimate conversation i feel bad i feel lonely disappointed in myself and i cant really explain why is there anybody here to talk to id really appreciate to talk with anybody maybe theres someone who feels similar right now and would like some company like myself,3.0
33340,agiletortoise the van may become youre new home ,2.0
33341,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
33342,writing screencast scripts for httpwhosplayingcom im going to sound like a local news broadcaster from the  ,2.0
33343, i know  im bout to get at him on his twitter  im worried ,2.0
33344,nebulochaoticcc ako din sad huhu,2.0
33345,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
33346,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
33347,i love swimming summer dayss ,0.0
33348,i like when i come to school early amp no one is here  ,2.0
33349,untitled i guess after a year i can somewhat make some kind of comeback to this subreddit so much has gotten worse as a year has passed by everything feels empty right now i cant exactly pinpoint the base of this pain nor can i figure out why i tend to force myself to normalize all of these lies ive conjured up in my mind i want to change but i dont want to at the same timei still hate myself so nothing new there i sound more calm these days but it scares people whenever i talk about my problems in a casual manner ive started cutting myself to get a physical reaction so i can bear with that instead of the emotional turmoil that circles around my head it works but its scaring people i feel bad but i also dont theres something wrong with me thats for surei feel like ive given up but i also feel like i havent id like to kill myself thatd be nice and beneficial towards the people around me they no longer have to face the constant bullshit i have to give out yet i still want to live i want to walk outside early in the morning and hear the birds chirping the sounds of bushes rustling as bunnies and squirrels past by the cold breeze brushing over my face i love that i can live for thati feel like im annoying to everyone that im a burden and just cause problems for others i should just lock myself away from everyone theres no one that wants to be around me so i should just lock up every part of my existence away so no one would have to cringe in my presenceeven now i still think all of my friends hate me i dont think i have friends people lie to you just to see the gratification on your face thats something i know for a factim absolutely worthless and im useless to everyone around me i have no friends im basically nothing to the world its okay i guess i dont even know why i typed this nothing i say is important anyways,3.0
33350,only has one follower ,2.0
33351,i knew all we needed to do was talk things are sooo much better jeez things are looking up my dreams are incredible ,0.0
33352,ksclarke thats a lot of expectation to heap on one listserv ,0.0
33353,kelciii didnt i wanted to go ,2.0
33354,a dark memory which i just wanted to share i dont know if this fits here but after while watching some ted talks about people talking about depression a rather old dark memory came to my mindit was from a few months ago during football practicewe were inside gym and just played some games in different teams about twenty minutes or so before practice ended it started to happen i was in goal and grabbed the ball right after it went outside the field but all the others and our coach believed it was still inside the field i didnt say anything and just accepted it because i already felt kinda downall i remember after that was that i just sat next to the field and waited for practice to end while holding back my tears i just heard my coachs words what were you thinking you wouldve gotten a red card in a real gamehe probably didnt wanted to sound angry but my mind interpreted as it would hes angry at you hes disappointed in you he thinks you suck no one wants you hereafter the practice ended i left the gym immediately without saying goodbye why should i say goodbye i thought they dont say it to me and they dont even want me to be herewhen i started to walk home alone i just cried i felt like i hit a new low nothing made any sense i knew that the ball was not inside the field but they wouldnt believe me anyway they dont care about youi thought about ending it all i thought about jumping of a crane next to the gymi was completely lost in my dark thoughts i still cried when i arrived at home and tried to hide it from my mom saying that everything was fine and that practice was goodi dont really know how the day ended probably was browsing reddit crying,3.0
33355,  shamim we have your song playing loud herewe miss u ,2.0
33356,  you too ,0.0
33357,thinking of adopting a golden retriever i miss my gsd ,2.0
33358,crushlaxing at venice beach today ,0.0
33359,aprilknob i will most likely be there  just gotta take care of some things first,0.0
33360,wanna see the wife so frustrated ,2.0
33361,ssjumi right oh and im so in love with this ff  i still have to review on thatsorry im so mean ,2.0
33362, is that what were having for breakfast tomorrow ,0.0
33363,why is hand sanitazier so cool ,0.0
33364,dannywood hey danny  did u run already     hope you have a good day    i love you ,0.0
33365,alleyesonb well thats good  im dying over here so bored  just sittin n the break room,0.0
33366,its so warm its unreal  heeeey  so today after discussing the  dwarfs and giving them all an emticon ,0.0
33367,juuulianne faabianne noooooo way i havent talked to her the pass four days i guess please stay a while with us julie ,0.0
33368,mhhhhhh,1.0
33369,west coast suggests micronutrients deficiencies•diabetes•weightmanagement•inflammation•hypothyroidism• ,2.0
33370,people abroad find our little brown thumb marks bizarre thats first world for you  saelections,0.0
33371,tonight back to la have a long flight before me wish i would be already there lisamadanna finally ya back  call ya later xox,0.0
33372,jalanimorgan hemingway lived in toronto in the  and wrote for the toronto star fancy ,0.0
33373,have to get up at  tomorrow for practise training   been watching sga today but went for long drive around the coast was calming,2.0
33374,well i better start off my day with taking a shower ,0.0
33375,yakoki🤗 httpstcofuxdaydoon,1.0
33376,theroser i bought my tix and signed up for the fan club ,0.0
33377,hannmcfly no hahah my mum was in this time  are you in school tomorow or monday cos im not ,0.0
33378,caley wishes that she broke my wrist  ,2.0
33379,viciousb thank u but i dunno how u look so i cant confirm that ,2.0
33380,eiruko awwww  that is lame hug,2.0
33381,cba doing anything  sun been shining like mad for the last  days ,0.0
33382,what can i do if i become suicidal  im in the uk i dont have any friends or family at all  im on a waiting list for therapycbt for anxietydepression ive never actually attempted suicide im not sure if i would ive been suffering depression for around  years suicidal ideation for around  years  my depression is primarily the kind that just makes you run on autopilot with no real enjoyment but also mostly not sad either the suicidal ideation it typically just intrusive thoughts along the lines of just saying shes dead in my head sometimes it gets bad  my depression turns into inconsolable sadness my suicidal ideation turns into being actively suicidal where i feel compelled to act write suicide note plan suicide sit with blades to my wrists etc im about to turn  with is a big birthday before reaching  to stress relevance im a woman and ive yet to have kids also ive been unemployed for ten years so this birthday feels more difficult as its a reminder iv spent the best part of my life unemployed thus not moving forward in life plus add issues with men im single and cant seem to find anyone the guys i do find really fuck with me so its also adding to that whole ive yet to have kids part i think the autopilot depression is a selfdefense function because ill sometimes find myself laying in bed at night realizing how old im going to be on my birthday and it suddenly hits me like a tone of bricks  i think running on autopilot stops me thinking about how severely ive fucked my life and how much i risk missing out onso the closer i get to my  birthday the more worried i am that im going to hurt myself  right now i have no intention of harming myself but i know when im actively suicidal its a completely different matter its scary im not sure what im supposed to do when suicidali dont have access to a phone so its not like i can call a suicide hotline i cant imagine helplines or a crisis team are helpful what do they do how does  talking to them help especially not as i imagine it as superficial care for your life where the person youre talking to is just doing a job and giving out general encouraging inspirational bs people have said to go to hospital but i dont even know what theyd do therewhat could they do other than talk to you if im suicidal i dont see myself getting dressed and walking to the hospital not least of all as itll strike early like at  let alone calmly talking to a patronizing doctor about why i want to kill myself i dont look depressed or suicidal im very wellkempt and cheery even when suicidal im not crying my eyes out with makeup running down my facei dont think theyd take me seriously then what if they lock you up what happens in that situation if im suicidal i just dont see myself reaching out i dont even know if id attempt suicide if id even selfharm i have in the past but its been a long time  binge eating seems to have taken over from that in terms of selfdestructive coping mechanisms all i know right now is that im scared of how i might cope with my birthday which is coming up in april i feel i need to try to put something in place to see me through the next few months but im not sure what right now just thinking about it hurts,3.0
33383,do you eat balut  ,0.0
33384,supertim just every now and then for meim allergic actually but i do love italian icethats a yummy cold treat ,0.0
33385,time to work out and then shower and then out  ,0.0
33386,just bought my hair dye  xoxo jenn,0.0
33387,ebassman aint nuttin gonna stop that nkotb take over we aint playin  i love this positivity movement did u answer my  earlier,0.0
33388,sitting down eating beefjerky  my cousins pushed me into the swimming pool today   paulinas birthday party,0.0
33389,sunnarose you are indeed awesome excited beta dreams of some day reading this genius ,0.0
33390,planethealer glad to share that moment with you ,0.0
33391,shaundiviney i think you should but make some under  yeah ,0.0
33392,im so bored  this is not good ,2.0
33393,layciemaelyn wuu tahniah baby lepas ni tak stress kerja dah 😊,2.0
33394,thewockeez i want a dance lesson where do i sign up ,0.0
33395,the  n i will b gettin married on july   at  pm  u r invited  bring gifts  lol,0.0
33396,horrible horrible dream glad my alarm woke me up before i discovered the bodies ,2.0
33397,meat load for super yummy ,0.0
33398,jackierebel sad but true ,0.0
33399,mmmm i forgot how much better tweetdeck is ,0.0
33400,i woke up early on a saturday for nothing charlesampaaron didnt come over ,2.0
33401, i think she did signings in washington earlier earlier last month  sorry we missed tweeting them for you  amy,2.0
33402,whitster retard ,0.0
33403,drunnkk again ,0.0
33404,why do i want and not want people to see me cry im at work crying and i dont know whats wrong with mep i have a personal matter eating at me and i havent found a therapist yet i know my fault and i dont  have anyone to talk to my friends would listen but its too painful that i dont even want to explain the situation i dont like to show emotion in front of my parents i cant stand them worrying and i somehow feel embarrassed im currently sobbing at work and while i dont want my coworkers to see part of me does am i just an attention seeker i dont know i actually am embarrassed to cry but at the same time i feel like no one is seeing me they think im all fine and good and i make fun of myself with them and they make fun of me too but i hate it lately i actually mean every word i say but no one knows it i dont want to explain my situation and i genuinely am embarrassed to cry in front of the executives but somehow i want someone to know im sad am i narcissist what is my deal i hate myself,3.0
33405,lots of fun to be had this weekend  all dampened by the fact that i am not done grading       it has to end somehow,2.0
33406,robinwalker if you dont promote yourself robin who will ,0.0
33407,dont know what im doing ,2.0
33408,michaelshirley i love ur blog u should check out mine  httpbitlyodplx,0.0
33409,i am proud to just now realize that i have the  fan twitter for jennette mccurdy ,0.0
33410,miss the old times ,2.0
33411,calculated how much  ill have left to myself after i pay my monthly billsonce i own this house its not pretty ,2.0
33412,stressfully  waiting for resolution on the modification that i paid a lawyer to handle in december  ,2.0
33413,alanq you crack me up if i knew you for real id buy you a drink ,0.0
33414,goodeve people ,0.0
33415,my mind is deteriorating everyday i feel more and more lost within my mind i cant think straight or focus on being productive it feels as if im drowning in my depression and i just want to scream for help yet the words never form i was given meds but they have just made me feel horrible and i feel even worse when i dont take them i dont know if mentally ill still be here in a few months,3.0
33416,invincibledet yo are you performing in chicago this weekend i missed the show in seattle cuz i wuz sick ,2.0
33417,three days of being a sophomore left ,0.0
33418,why cant i just be fucking normal i dont want to be exhausted all the time i dont want to feel sad all the time i dont want to feel anxiety all the time i dont want to feel lonely all the time i dont want to hate myself all the time i dont want to feel ugly all the time i dont want to feel hated all the time i just want to be fucking normal,3.0
33419,is thinking the  was a great race rip silverstone ,2.0
33420,dinner and a movie with the hubby ,0.0
33421,slept all day sitting in a parking lot on my phone  i cant get him out of my head  i cant stop crying  does it ever get easier,3.0
33422,gprs signal getting weakso good night all ,0.0
33423,themeliscuiper hi themelis  thanks for the followfriday recommendation hows things on your end,0.0
33424,jennifergould hi jennifer happy early bday hope you have a great weekend while celebrating another anniversary of being  ,0.0
33425,just read about guitar hero  coming out in september im an unlikely fan and excellent player  fun stress relief,0.0
33426,paulwestlake thanks for the follow thingy ,0.0
33427,saw kyle burns twin at my local mall now hopefully seeing the real him in  days ,0.0
33428,cferrucci awwwwwwshucks  thanks girl,0.0
33429,matblackexa screw that join my ring ,0.0
33430,eating a hot fudge sunday mmm ,0.0
33431,vcmike hawkvc squirrelcompany  ,0.0
33432,im sad now ,2.0
33433, awww i wanna see pics  i love children,0.0
33434,people nowadays are struggling heres some advice to all those going through a tough time i could not give enough sympathy you need to put trust in me to believe what i say it may sound cliche but keep your heads up many situations may feel like you cannit make your way out of them please just keep going battle through and dont stop theres always a chance wether its  or  you need to take them chances and take any criticism or negative actions towards you on the chin take them fuckers on because theyre happy as larry in their own little worlds and have no sympathy for others if its a financial situation and your struggling to pay dont loan get a new job and beat the dick heads who put you in that bad place x,3.0
33435,oh no i dont want fever now too ,2.0
33436,miar jaaycooxo lol i dont think id like to eat it again if its possible  it was actually like fish they had bigampthick bones,0.0
33437,people keep asking me why ive been so open about my suicide attempt why not im not going to lie about something ,1.0
33438, oh go on you can swear on here no one can see or hear ,0.0
33439,online resources for counseling my depression has worsened considerably in the last year and i have recently tried counseling however it does not help me as my depression really only affects me while at home and alone i am trying hard to get a job to keep myself busy but until thenif that doesnt work are there any online chat rooms or forums to talk with others i remember my now recently exgirlfriend who is a nursing major writing a paper regarding an online chat room she had to examine for a few weeks however due to somewhat obvious reasons i do not feel comfortable asking her for information regarding the subject i understand this subreddit is for this sort of service but i think a dedicated websiteservice may help myself and others thank you for reading,3.0
33440,maddiemckimm im happy for u ,0.0
33441,i hate waking up my dreams are always such ridiculous nonsense yet every morning i find myself angry when i have to stop experiencing them and all the realities of my life come rushing back i have a complicated relationship with sleep on one hand it annoys me because its a huge chunk of my time that i could otherwise spend repairing the broken pieces of my life on the other hand it affords me the daily ability to forget about things and just exist without stress without anxiety without doubt without fear its such a privilege to forgeti remember the days when i couldnt wait to wake up the next day because of something stupid like a new video game or something like that i havent experienced that in a very long time i miss thatanyways no real point to this post comment if you can relate i suppose,3.0
33442,alone on my bday i think my bf wanna dump me ,2.0
33443,mrslachance youre only as old as you feel  thats what i keep telling myself anyway ,0.0
33444,forgot my watch  so lost ha,2.0
33445,waiting at the eye dr absolutely on fun ,2.0
33446,rt jedigrumps going outside after a couple of days after a long episode of depression ,2.0
33447,home alone again ,0.0
33448,feels like going away my brain is a subway train im a passenger facing the wrong direction i dont know if theres a driver way up at the front but the train keep passing stops i should have used by the time i see where i am  i have passed it work mealspet carebathingchoresnext time maybe ,3.0
33449,revrunwisdom good morning get up feel good pray dont be wrinkled with burden smile god can give you a facelift  lets go,0.0
33450,my throat hurts me very much ,2.0
33451,you gotta spend some time love you gotta spend some time with me and i know that youll find love i will possess your heart ,0.0
33452,lol camp rock soundtrack ,0.0
33453, only sad reactions,2.0
33454,tommylandry oh that refreshment was everything it was supposed to be good sir  and how and who btw congrats on becks arrival ,0.0
33455,taylorjackson fuckkk thattt ,2.0
33456,mileycyrus miley i really need to know who is real on facebook cos i might have a paedo following me s haha  miley raycyis that real,0.0
33457,crying out of nowhere i had a pretty normal day when i was showering before bed i just started crying out of nowhere and now i am crying in the bed nothings on my mind really i am just sad for no reason this happens to me  times every week does this happen to you as well and what do you do when it happens,3.0
33458,a dog  years ago i had an elderly dog that i had since a puppy that passed away that seriously helped with any intrusive thoughts and  depression in general since then my mental health has seriously gone downwards and i have now been in a really bad place for far too long and feel as though i almost crave the companionship my old dog once gave me since i was young i was always surrounded by animals and cared for them myself but after he passed ive just been alone i feel as though i need to get a dog or other animal as a companion but am scared that at the same time it might be cruel to get a dog for that kind of support ,3.0
33459,is taking time off on twitter to think of his girlfriend ,0.0
33460,phildawson oh congrats mate i defo getting a lottery ticket on way home from work now ,0.0
33461, i wonder if using yogis guitar pick will help me play better in class today  ,0.0
33462,some guy at this bar asked if i would ever consider fitness modeling i really do have madonna arms ,2.0
33463,finally finished with my paper now i have to study for three finals ,2.0
33464,fuck life im  years old abused as a child lost my  years to an eating disorder and now chronically ill and in pain seriously i just had  hopeful months after being recovered from my eating disorder that i can actually leave the fact that ive never had a childhood and teenage years behind and recover from my lifelong depression but then i learned that i suffer from chronic illnesses right now i just have a very very negative outlook on life and just cannot get over the fact that the world is full of pain and even though i would be painfree one day there are a lot of people going through hell every day every minute i have zero motivation and hope on recovery because this world is just full of sickness and pain and i know that even though i recover from my depression now i will again be depressed and face hardship later on in life because it is just how life is i dont think i can deal with this anymore ,3.0
33465,quarantine blues ive had depression for a long time i dont know when it started but for many years now it used to be really bad and then it got better but now its going back to being bad again i have been having a hard time with all the quarantine as being with my family often triggers me to go into a depressive numb state not only that i am also suicidal and have major anxiety i just wish for some advice on what has helped others with their depressionsuicidal thoughtsanxiety or panic attacks i dont wish to confront my family or anyone about it,3.0
33466,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
33467,hey what makes you feel better i cant shake the recurring feeling that everything sucks and is bad i currently have some games and a bit of rolling tobacco along with some records and weed how do i cope what the fuck should i doim at the end of my rope im just a fuckin  year old going nowhere christ i cant even afford a real meal i cant budget right now because i cant even envision a tomorrow what do you do what helps you,3.0
33468,rt someofmybest prominent mental health advocate httpstcoeloabfzttn,0.0
33469,taking a much needed nap ,0.0
33470,maellability i knowwww  and it sucks cause gk clothes here in num are pretty expensive,2.0
33471,mark drennan health care reform needs mental health coverage daily mail  charleston gazettemail ,0.0
33472,how to get help without asking parents im a teenager and im so fucking sick of being sad i cant do anything without being interrupted by thoughts about how much i want to kill myself i dont have friends to distract me anymore so i just spend every free second thinking about killing myself and the second i have the motivation to do so i probably will the thought of talking to my parents or even other adults about it makes me feel like throwing up or passing out i feel optionless,3.0
33473, love that song ,0.0
33474,blegghhhh i have to go to work ,2.0
33475,stalker sometimes i see it and i can hear it and i know its there  and when i can it acts like a passenger a pedestrian a man walking on the street just lightly sweeping my shoulder but it  no  he is never afraid to get too close hes the man in line at starbucks on his bluetooth earpiece yelling so loud that i cant hear anything else and i want to turn around and slap him because hes standing far too close for comfort sometimes it comes quick so fast that i cant even see it like a shuriken a flying blade a bullet with my name on it and it hits me hard in all of the softest most vulnerable spotsbut its worst when its slow  like a selfplanting seed digging little hallows in your head and chest and stomach and lungs and heart  and you watch it grow sometimes it takes a few hours other times a few daysand i personify it objectify it  that way i feel like i can somewhat control it but i cant it isnt my puppet it isnt the man with a bluetooth despite having my name written all over it it isnt a bullet and it isnt a flower and im its marionette pulling me by every string and its here again tonight hitting me in all of its forms and it isnt a person and it isnt an object so i dont know how to manipulate it i dont know how to break it not without breaking me too ,3.0
33476,i received no text message guess sunday is all we have to have fun again  nyaks may meeting pala ang metro  sad,2.0
33477,trying to stay upbeat while i wait to get my keys out of my locked car ,2.0
33478,sturahsolegit haha thank you tried my hardest to make it a masterpiece ,0.0
33479,aylaalves nope ive seen them perform three times though wish i had met them ,2.0
33480,computer died this weekend    backup not working since october so i lost a lot of things,2.0
33481,i made the mistake of going through my high school bullys facebook page so yesterday after scrolling through httpswwwredditcomraskredditcommentsaosbvawhathappenedtoyourschoolbully i decided to check on the girl that used to bully me in high school out of pure curiosity wish i didnt do that yes i am aware that social media is all about appearance therefore you cant judge someones life simply out of what they post but how can you not feel jealous when all you come across is pictures of them travelling around the world winning the national cup of whatever sport they play in even swimming with dolphins im not saying its unfair she probably worked hard to get where she is now   im just bitter the things she did and said to me in high school still have an impact on me now the fact that she never paid any consequences everyone including the teachers knew what was going on but never lifted a finger to help leaves me with a sense of huge anguish now shes successful and i struggle to get out of bed  sorry but i needed to rant,3.0
33482,tried out  hour fitness this morning no wait or pressure to get off the treadmill better than the rec centers ,0.0
33483,ddlovato i use to think u were diff then the other celebs n hollywood i thought u cared bout helpin fans but i dont think so now  ,2.0
33484,this feels like threading water in the middle of the ocean with no boat or land in sight during winter it feels like theres a massive storm and im trying to stay afloat in the middle of the ocean with nothing but my body ive been doing this for years now and every year the storm gets longer and stronger it gets tough staying afloat but i keep trying lately its becoming difficult to stay afloat the hope of finding solid ground is almost nonexistent the medication i take feels like driftwood i use to stay afloat but its becoming less useful im getting tired and numb maybe im not alone maybe i am i know one thing for sure is that talking to people or writing stuff in an unusual manner helps me stay afloat ,3.0
33485,rt  do you know how many people died in  as a result of austerity whilst those rings were being hung on tower bridge ht,1.0
33486,good morning headin to skool on my last week ,0.0
33487,saying bye to chokingchunti today made me sad on how all our friends are leaving soon and we wont see eachother e ,1.0
33488,gogetmorganized boo hoooo answer your phone more often ,0.0
33489,scotchsailor just kickstart your healthcare dude yeah this is where we are now i actually really enjoy redd httpstcordhgzidvpa,0.0
33490,just watched way too much sonny with a chance lol check it out  waiting for holz to come over ,0.0
33491,i feel like ive lost all of my  due to anxiety and depression anyone feel like this nearing  and realizing that fear has controlled so much of your lifehow do you get by this i dont want to spend an entire year just living in regrethope you all are doing well and if not do vent with me,3.0
33492,going to see up ,0.0
33493, exam done think i did much better this time now i have to write an essay ,2.0
33494,anyone else get late night blues hey so im awake with my thoughts they arent good thoughts its like the monster of depression sometimes just breaks free and takes hold of my brain im too depressed to have an outburst of emotion im too anxious to sleep im just stuck in my head anyone awake ,3.0
33495,i got  new socks today i love the feeling of new socks woohoo ,0.0
33496,rt electroboyusa mental health is not a dirty word we all have mentalhealth like we do physical health good or ill  prince william,1.0
33497,bryankavanagh yeah seen the villa vid omg looks like heaven  i hate you lmao ,2.0
33498,dannywood good monday morning danny  hope u enjoy your day  im going to work ,0.0
33499,look who finally created a twitter themasonmusso   carlisaj,0.0
33500,this is the loneliest part of the day besides waking up ,2.0
33501,marahroseis dinosaurs sound gross ,2.0
33502,gnite sweettwits no debauchery  jus lots of dancing shots amp drinks good fun long day   xoxo,2.0
33503,kinda need help  hey first time on reddit since years buy hey heavenly depressed got trough more anti depressions pills than i could keep track of  and or therapys one long therapy coming but ill feel just  very bad and lonely and yeah  lost like  pounds and eat healthy try to workout and u know  and most of the time laying in my bed  oh forgot to mention the strong sleeping disorder ill guess  idk would like to hear about anything tips to make life better or something  or things to keep myself busy maybe   well im getting a bit dizzy  so im gonna go and take a nap hopefully longer than  and be back for tomorrow morning  if even anyone wants to answer me  ,3.0
33504,now its the cotton eyed joe and my loser sister is dancing to it ,2.0
33505,sameehaj  you sound familiar ,0.0
33506,ahaha  uncle guiseppes ,0.0
33507,had the worste nights sleep ever and woke up with teeth hurting from retainer ,2.0
33508, not a lot jus very tired from da iphone launch  was a very long day ,2.0
33509,jonnana dang i just saw the link that sucksssss ,2.0
33510,its only coffee dont think dirty  xoxo lena,0.0
33511, that sounds like it will be a blast to bad im on the wrong coast ,2.0
33512,stuck in an isolated living situation falling back into a bad mental place long so growing up i lived with a lot of abuse wont get into all that for now things got better when i did my undergrad at a state university but i was still socially fucked up more or lessi got a fresh start when doing a masters abroad for the first time ever i had actual friends and a support network i felt like people wanted to be around me and that i was more than a burden i have never been so happy in my life i even started therapy to work out how to get over some of the abuse i did so much healing there i tried so hard to find a job there but nothing worked out i had to move back im devastated and its like none of that happened since im back in the same awful place physically and mentally that i was beforenow im living with family while looking for a job or phd position i mean im supposed to be doing that i havent applied to anything in over a month because i just feel so defeated ive left the house exactly four times since christmas even if i had somewhere to go and people to see outside my two immediate family members i have no car or license my town doesnt even have fucking sidewalks to walk somewhere because no one is going to see me and i feel like shit ive also only showered a handful of times since coming home im stuck in this house and sometimes it feels like a prison i talk to my family but we dont really hang out or anything we all stay in separate rooms most of my social interactions come from my dogs and cats and they honestly keep me going more than anything else right nowevery day i stay in bed and daydream for hours before i actually get up to feed the dogs i do the same for hours before i go to sleep at night every day the same fantasy about having friends and a partner i spend  hours a day just imagining i have people in my life who actually want to spend time with mei guess this is just a rant i feel lost and like im spiraling i just want out of here,3.0
33513,who cares and no one will read this im sure i know nobody will read this or really care cuz were all depressed here and im just one person so who cares right guess i just gotta vent im  with no life no job no girl fat ugly and just a piece of shit i live with  my dad now cuz my mom decided that shes had enough with me and kicked me out my dad is a psychopath who constantly reminds me how much better he is then me treats me like shit including all his kids from other women if only i could have raised you or man i wish you were different is all i hear from him constantly i hate that i have this family i hate that i have no other family that loves me just a loser with no friends and no life cant find a job again to save my life nor can i find friends in this shit town there is no escape from this rut ive dug myself in and i cant take it here anymore im turning  this february and hopefully i can give myself the best present of all death who knows maybe ill just pussy out again sorry for wasting your time whoever reads this,3.0
33514,trachena thank you  the ff hope you have a blessed day today  your friends in christ,0.0
33515,honestly wholesome aesthetic gt depression aesthetic,0.0
33516,vanillafire yay for good progress rewards help so much  im going to give myself mine today for getting through yesterday ,0.0
33517,cindalee  hope lungs all better now,2.0
33518,finally went to therapy after about  months of putting it off i finally went to therapy it was only  minutes but just simply venting about how shitty i feel all the time to another human really helped me i have trouble opening up to people i am close with and am fairly reserved and quiet so my friends and family were not an option but someone i have never met before was perfect i dont feel like it solved my depression at all it just helped relieve a lot of pentup feelings i had ,3.0
33519,hard to sayto make you come againcome back to me againand play your sad guitar,1.0
33520,magarooni  with words,2.0
33521,craving baskin robbins ,2.0
33522,chriscuzzy  and of course to the winner goes the spoils you can add your own winning flair to it smirk thanks ,0.0
33523,superwiki though my eyes could see i still was a blind sam  whoops man freudian slip tee hee spoiler free ,0.0
33524,i just came home from another day of shopping i had so much fun with my mom  now i am really tierd ,0.0
33525, year olds summer camps start todayenlisting  old as my mini plannersummer intern  summer is heretime to get creative with kids,0.0
33526,last night in pdx leaving early in the am to stay with the pops in az happy to go but sad to leave tonyahahn ,2.0
33527,and let me remind yall bitches that while gd actually smoked for fun or whatever what bom took was pills for her httpstcojbhxuhguiz,2.0
33528,  grotto bay caves im in the water which is why you can not see my feet ,0.0
33529,monicajames haha i know me too ,0.0
33530,beingnobody yeah  i was more worried last year and these exams are equally if not a lot more important ,2.0
33531,is way sad ,2.0
33532,kattincolorado i saw your funnel pic on the news last nite ,0.0
33533,still sick  craving for mcd i think im gonna order soon hungry,2.0
33534,debrahendrix it reminded me and the fiancé of why we arent having kids ,0.0
33535,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
33536, minutes in to nbc late night and i am missing leno already ,2.0
33537,ipartyhard and im pretty geeked right now ,0.0
33538,deon hahaha nice content i like that ,0.0
33539,eppseternalarmy thanks for the link  i actually saw this linked somewhere else recently but something came up and didnt click ,0.0
33540,dont want to let anyone down the only reason i get out of bed now is for other people i get up in the morning for work but wait till the very last minute i get dressed and ready and shower for other people not having to deal with my look or smell when i get to work all i can focus on is how much i hate my life how i hate my job and my boss and how im lost i cant do anything for myself my girlfriend is trying to help me but she is also depressed or has bipolar disorder so she switches between happy phases and depressed phases hard to explain i only can get ready for the day brush my teeth shave etc because i dont want her to deal with me more than she has too the only reason i got antidepressants and tried to work on my self was for my girlfriend so she doesnt have to put up with me so she can just be care free and happy she tries to tell me that she is happy and isnt just putting up with me and i want to believe  her i just canti feel like i cant just end it because ill be putting more stress and feel like i let everyone down no matter how much i want to i have daily thoughts about ending it all or just even cutting but i dont cause ill be hurting others i have no self worththank you for reading i need a therapist ,3.0
33541,virginmedia ive had bungieboy provide great help in trying to get this resolvedseems not to be fixed yetbut hopefully thatl change ,0.0
33542,impalaguy yes u really have a lot of work  that´s true  do u have to work tomorrow also,2.0
33543,iim babysiitiing  talkiing toooo my best boy rhys  xx,0.0
33544,shopping for a dress to go to wear  a wedding im only seeing really nice white dresses how ironic huh   ps not happy about that ,2.0
33545,still doing economics revision in the library at least i talked to a friend about project natal for a while  i doubt it will be released,0.0
33546,what do you do when depressed what do you guys do to either help yourself climb out of the depressive episode or as a way to cope when depressed i am an emotional eater and just sit around eating and watching tv not a healthy way to cope but in the lowest of lows its all i can do what do you guys do ,3.0
33547,dont depression suck cant sleep cant eat cant live 😢,1.0
33548,execbp mmmm now youre speaking my language unfortunately in militant diet modeam seriously thinking of  competitonso no tb i guess ,2.0
33549,ok  have had enuff of the rain can i have an order of sunshine now  go large  please  from the takeaway menu ,0.0
33550,ohnaira lol good its what i try and do like those pics ,0.0
33551,dhlavery was never a fan of erlove earl to bits gutted its getting cancelled ,2.0
33552, am going to bed but im not sleepy ,2.0
33553,thanks for all the bday wishes feels good   had a great day,0.0
33554,darkemanne lol pop it in i have no doubt that it will give you a good laugh lol and just make you feel better ,0.0
33555,new to twitterr headed to the beach tomorrow  ,0.0
33556,brandonperrymod good  twitter is fun,0.0
33557,rt professormount depression makes u  just spend all ur money on records,0.0
33558,i just want to talk to someone hello i just want to chat with someone who is dealing with depression because i used to have real bad severe depression in high school but i got through it hormonal shit  but they told me that depression just subsides and never truly goes away and boy were they right im  now still young and i have been trying to get a job for the longest time just got a call that my  interviews didnt go well and i just need to talk to someone at least online because im scared  i literally just want a job i dont want to be happy i am not a happy go lucky sort of person i just want the bare minimum and its been so hard to get i do not have the energy for this i mean i just want to actually start living if that makes sense and not go back to the dark place i once was at but i can see my life remaining the same and going nowhere i just need someone to chat with i have been looking for work for so long idk what to do anymore i am weak i cannot do this i just cannot i try to think positive but nothing ever works out nothing ever works out for me i have a great family that supports me and im not lacking anything but i wish they would just resign themselves to me being jobless forever because i know thats the case and when i try to think positive its just a massive letdown i am not suicidal  i used to be in high school but life for me is just bland and i dont even want it to be exciting or fun or anything i just want to feel like i exist by having a job making money  sometimes when i have money i go to a bar and pay those expensive prices instead of going to the liquor stores even though i know im pissing money away when if getting drunk was the goal i know how to do it but i do it because it makes me feel like im there i exist i matter almost i just want to chat with someone see if anyone understands  i am not suicidal at all but honestly im so young at  and life feels so fucking long i dont want to grow old i hope to get some disease early on i dont have the strength to do this i already have high blood pressure which honestly is an old people disease cuz i eat too much butter and salt and pasta just shit food can anyone chat with me thank you,3.0
33559,mini mommys day roadtrip to ac ,0.0
33560,fuck yeah i am now the proud owner of a shiny new beautiful imac ,0.0
33561, hour and  minutes left of course i have to work in the morning so i cant go out tonight ,2.0
33562,aiorselvar a brand spanking new aior to boot ,0.0
33563,bostinbloke have a wonderful twitter free weekend chill out in the heat he he ,0.0
33564,ktsummer is the waffle house some east coast thingi dont get the significance ,0.0
33565,suffering after last night ,2.0
33566,life isnt worth it without any friends the problem ive been facing for a while is the fact that i have virtually no friends at school and work i have friends that care about me but no one ever reached out to me besides when we have classwork together weekends are difficult because i dont talk to anyone besides my family because no one texts me i just feel like i have no reason to be here because i dont matter to anyone all i do is lay in bed and think about what my friends are out doing together because im never invited i dont want to live anymore if it has to be this lonely,3.0
33567,going to see the nephew ,0.0
33568,  dammit trust it to blur ,2.0
33569,booo always a sad bitch in her feelings👎🏼,2.0
33570,why cant i just be happy throwaway because my friends think im not depressed anymore but right now im more depressed than ever  i just want to be happy again can somebody help me i have talked to everyone and if this continues i dont think i can hide this anymore i mean i cant explain my feelings or thoughts it is easier if you could see inside my brain english is not my first language so i hope you can get something out of this,3.0
33571,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
33572,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
33573,venting right now im just laying on the bathroom floor listening to a lorde song i feel like all my friends dont want to see mebe with me and honestly i dont blame them because i can be a lot the word worthless is kinda scratched in my outer thigh i feel in my worst tbh,3.0
33574,sometimes i literally feel like i cant breath everything is just weighing on my chest i feel like if i was not born everyone in my life would have been better i have this constant thought that im ruining everyones life around me i just feel worthless like i have no value the thing is i could never kill myself because that would hurt a lot of people but i constantly feel like im trying everyones life cant die but cant live if my mom would have gotten rid of me i feel like so many things would have went right in others lives i know my mom loves me and that would kill her to read that and everyone else who loves me but i have this deep feeling that its true i cant live like this im literally drowning in myself every second of every day,3.0
33575,i have to get up early in the morning ,2.0
33576,yep i stayed up til  on thursday to finish did one final readedit yesterdaybut more importantly max is now crawling ,0.0
33577,this isnt turning out so well afterall  dont know how im gonna go in the exam tomorrow,2.0
33578,trvsbrkr   i wanted that shirtbut in girl sizes ,2.0
33579,how to fight depression okay so i have been struggling with depression for a while now i know what to do on how to get better or at least help it you know going to the gym being with friends taking on new hobbys going outside all that jazz but how do i get the urge to go out and do these things to actually get motivated when doing all these things dont sound appealing at all its so hard to get out of my bed and get out the door to even begin this fight against depression,3.0
33580,twinelm as so respect them all as we do respect others freedoms of speech glad you are kind with differences ,0.0
33581,can wait for june  ,2.0
33582,sadio mane roberto firmino mo salah wont use us and then go – jurgen klopp  ,1.0
33583,watching shortland street ,0.0
33584,crashing at shantels again ,0.0
33585,jennypoynter very bad timesssss  argh,2.0
33586,jlsofficial ahh where have you been lolmissed you tweeting xxxxxxxxx no it didnt work for me ,2.0
33587,an amazing interview with psychiatrist dr kelly brogan regarding mental wellbeing and overall health please liste ,0.0
33588,finals have been good  havent had one all academic day two more days woo,0.0
33589,ladyequis yeaaaaaah ,0.0
33590,got my daily votes in for the cubies amp realized tomorrow is my final vote day    via mariapetersen,2.0
33591,frak sounds like youre having a v good time sir  we are about to get our drunk on yay,0.0
33592,hanging out in the computer room wishing i knew what i wanted to do in life  counting down for stuff again and being happy still xxx,0.0
33593,oops i think i just indirectly call my friends girlfriend fat i am so dead but i didnt mean it  really,2.0
33594,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
33595,how come no  ever answers on twitter ,2.0
33596,amp he says dont worry amp i say okay jesus i feel ya ,0.0
33597,veganza congratulations wishing you a speedy recovery and the joy of baby ironclasped grip on your pinkie finger ,0.0
33598,done with hw d now i can go to bed hella late like usual haha  until summer vacationsss ,0.0
33599,yay tin roof  rain  i cant hear anything ,2.0
33600,rt kieraplease half the time i dont even be knowing why im sad sadness just be slapping me in the face for no reason,0.0
33601,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
33602,lorienmusic so jealous  what constellations,2.0
33603,finally in hawaii yest was awfully longyuck very warm welcoming though getting used to the time difference aloha ,0.0
33604,done two washings got more shopping in cleaned the kitchen now i get to shop for pretty things for france and go to the park ,0.0
33605,back to twitter again to update sometimes ,0.0
33606,adindi owkeyy beybi heuhe ,0.0
33607,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
33608,is on air ,0.0
33609,rt morganriiey your wcw is a piece of shit who takes  depression naps a day she also pushes away everybody who cares about her its me,2.0
33610,good morning all hope your monday is off to a good start  ,0.0
33611,tag got talents dont look down on us cos we are young ,0.0
33612,i just threw up i dont think i will be invited to the next one ,2.0
33613,never mind its scolaped potatoes ,0.0
33614,is sooo tireddd   i need a nap,2.0
33615,rockguitarz if you have any other interesting things youd want to share feel freely to do so ,0.0
33616,depressed partner said i deserve someone better than her quick background we have been together for  years now my partner suffers from major depression and anxiety disordersthrough the years ive probably seen her at her worst recently she has had suicidal thoughts and one of the reasons she told me is because she wants to get rid of her useless self so i can get someone better than herthis really tore my heart because i love her dearly and i cant imagine living my life without her i dont see her useless at all i think she is caring and extremely talented person she just doesnt see herself the same way which is not uncommon because of depressioni just want to know if anyone else has gone through with this kind of thing how can i help her to feel better about herself and our relationship,3.0
33617,you know what would be really good as a midmorning snack right now  fried pie  i have a feeling the taco bell empanada would not do,2.0
33618,rt midgespeaks you are taking all fun out of being on twitter  a real shame  we dont have a fair playing field you took  followers,1.0
33619,kentgarrison is my favorite sick kid  hes adorable,0.0
33620,depressive episode hi guysi dont think ive written a post in this subreddit before although thats not my pointi have struggled with high functioning depressions for a bit over a decade and grown used to major depressive episodes but this one takes the cake and there is no reason for it which confuses me more than it frustrates mei have been living up north in norway for  months now and after accepting the fact that its suffocating me i decided to move back home close to oslo this is something i wasam excited about but i still struggle to get out of bed i was relieved that i resigned and look forward to going back home but its difficult to have to work every day at work during the week and i work as a waitress meaning there is none of that routine every article online says one needs for recoveryidk im just lost and am looking for advice if any of you have it that is do you know how to deal with this ,3.0
33621,my ears need a rest ,2.0
33622,tommcfly i thought that brazilian fans were the wildest ,2.0
33623,i feel like shit so now im addicted to shit food over the past few weeks my diet has gone to shit along with my mood moving to a new school campus far from home means that im travelling alone more often which means more excuses and opportunities to buy unhealthy food even when im not hungry ill buy just one more pack of skittles or hichew or chocolate and then not be able to finish my dinner lately there have been weeks where ive had mcdonalds  days a week along with lunch and maybe a couple of other snacksim lucky to have a fast metabolism for now but even then i can feel myself gaining weight in the gut for years now ive had a stable weight of around  kg and now its closer to  its not a disaster  i have a consistently average to low bmi  but its a big deal for me because my weight very rarely fluctuates im genuinely worried about the bad habits ive found myself in its not good for my energy levels im wasting the money my parents give me and im basically trying to fill the hole caused by social isolation and school stress with food any advice,3.0
33624,got scared by all the yelling at the footy ,2.0
33625,whats up everyone ,0.0
33626,gonna get ready for work so that when everyone else wakes up i can be sitting there like quotjesus christ your lazyquot just to wind them up ,0.0
33627,i had the worse birthday ever ,2.0
33628,depression morphing into rage lately ive been feeling my depressive thoughts moving further towards an overwhelming sense of frustration lying around doing nothing is now being accompanied by temper tantrums and meltdowns the depression makes me so goddamn mad and then the anger just funnels back into a deeper depression once ive calmed down its weird i never thought of myself as having an anger problem my parents and teachers were always concerned that i never seemed to show enough emotion but now when im outside ive been punching holes in walls breaking things and getting into fights i feel myself getting more exasperated by the day at my depression at this state of being my life everything i can feel it right now let me just type it idashsdfjk   cgoddamit i feel so fcking lost and confused what,3.0
33629,i hate this feeling    ,2.0
33630,wickedsob orshwartzman mactavishkev  yoniyonder anastasiaklynch afsanehj zionistpost ,1.0
33631,please i need more followers ,2.0
33632,melaniengzuer haha yeah im using tweetdeck at home  too bad i cant use  account at the same time,0.0
33633,oops i meant service  and  ,0.0
33634,is missing ma baby ahhh ,2.0
33635,whitneehogg i am hoping it warms up soon and we can come ,0.0
33636,ahhhha new daybetter get started on my tax law research paperi hope im more productive today ,0.0
33637,light at the end of the tunnel last night my wife needed some emotional support that i am completely incapable of giving i find that when i am in the throws of depression it is hard for me to show empathy or emotion for others weve been married for  years and she is intimately familiar with my battle she has had to work very hard during our marriage to make up for my career instability i have not been a good provider and frankly i dont see that ever changing im a college grad and work but my career is anything but successfuli shared with her my plan which is to kill myself after our daughter graduates from college she is a sophomore in college and right now my only goal is to see her walk the stage shortly after that and before my  year life insurance policy expires i will put a gun in my mouth and finish myself for goodi get no joy out of life im not real good at it it doesnt make sense to me and often feels like a cruel game ive had my share of antidepressants and counselors and neither have provided a sustained improvement in my quality of life my efforts to grow closer to god have only left me in a worse position than when i startedthis is my story and i wanted to post it in a public forum to maybe help others,3.0
33638,hznkzm ooh yeah i dont like waiting for buses but thats good that you missed the bus because you got to see some horses ,0.0
33639,piaguanio finish watching full haus grace and ful had a beautiful baby girl ,0.0
33640,is heading out for a sunny morning bike ride working  then running  have fun at the parade pittsburgh buds    take pics for meeee,0.0
33641,mpi has a nationallydistributed midwest meeting guide released in august   the deadline approaches  we should talk ,0.0
33642,really wondering if everything is alright ,2.0
33643,when i think of killing myself i laugh i picture it in my head and think its funny for some reason somethings wrong,3.0
33644,omg i just killed my sunflower ,2.0
33645,keepnoiselow you are makin me want to listen to that song ,0.0
33646,lorettak enable you me now loretta you know me better  every chance i get to,0.0
33647,officialleon leon cannae you sung candy amp i missed it  gutteddd  lol i loveee youuu  xxxxx,2.0
33648,i feel like i should be just now going to sleep im awake ,2.0
33649,supateddz werd at least i can admit it thats the  step in becoming a better person ,0.0
33650,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
33651,feels like i am drowning and i dont know what to do here is my storymy mother and father divorced before i was born but still had a loving and caring mother with  brothers my father had huntingtons chorea this disease made his muscles jitter constantly so even walking became hard but because my parents were divorced before i was born i didnt build a relationship with him instead i mocked him with friends when i saw him walked in streets i allowed other poeple opinions to deny me my father he asked me every time we visited him that i should visit him more he died when i was  and the amount of guilt blame and anger i had towards myself for letting this happen was unbearableso i leaned to drugs to soothe my pain and supress my emotions my stepfather was a alcoholic so wasnt hard to follow his footsteps when we moved to another town i figured my addiction would stay in the town i left but it followed me until i was given a resolution and i chose recovery which fails everytime around  months for the past  years i have given up at this point anyone who claims addiction isnt real have no ideai only drink alcohol for now and i am not diagnosed with depression but i get this mood swings some days i feel happy and then a inner voice reminds me of what a failure i am and how i am not good enough at this point i cant see my future and dont see myself making it to  the feeling of giving up is growing and alcohol is fueling this i am sinking more and more and i feel like a third wheel watching my life getting ruined,3.0
33652,its breaking my heart for the ppljust yesterday i was talkin abt the plane crash i was supposed to be onbut luckily missed the flight ,2.0
33653,jamesfvegas but yet i plugged it up just now and it wouldnt charge again this thang is decieving me ,2.0
33654,the notebook the best movie in the world i cried so much ,2.0
33655, not if i can help it ,0.0
33656,walking home from da bar early wakeup   for radio from  poor moi   dan browns pa ,0.0
33657,everyones entitled to a break to eat their lunch right i have to serve customers while trying to eat my lunch flippin shit mate ,2.0
33658, im not allowed to watch it till the exams are over ,2.0
33659,realized that i am very protective of my love i would go to extreme lengths just to keep us happy  life is good ,0.0
33660,rt dreamonlque depression is real check on your friends ask if theyre okay mentally sometimes they really just need a person thats,0.0
33661,fourzerotwo when will a video be released id really like to see what happened stupid internet  ,2.0
33662,astoldbydes yes new inbox cleaner more professional look go see ,0.0
33663,willyanthonys ballys pair of shoes is amazing ,0.0
33664,its crazy how fast kids grow up im taking my baby cousin shopping now and she is all adult like awww makes me feel old now ,2.0
33665,anyone want to chat moved to a new city and just got off work dont want to sound creepy but anyone want to chat about anything,3.0
33666,today marks one month of not contacting my ex we broke up last october i miss her i left her a goodbye message last month apologizing about all i did during our relationship and saying how ill always be here for her if she wants to talk its been a month and im getting so anxious i miss her im trying so hard not to try and contact her and its killing me i want to so bad but i dont want to cause her trouble god it hurts it hurts ,3.0
33667,realdenisewelch dont you agree ,0.0
33668,my poor boys are sickits horrible seeing your kids suffer amp not being able to make them feel better instantly ,2.0
33669,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
33670,ohhh i feel awful  i think im gonna have a fever or something,2.0
33671,i actually lost  followers ,2.0
33672,ilovespend quotinto mequot seriously hahaha love you ,0.0
33673,spamfromjapan ditto here  looking forward to new star trek movie going on wednesday,0.0
33674,i dont think im worthy of love ive had nothing but messed up relationships my entire life starting with my parentsi met a man about  months ago and our conversations started slow and sporadic i wasnt looking for anything but he kept talking to me kept trying he asked me on a date a couple of times and i always had reasons to not acceptfinally a week ago i accepted we spent almost an entire day together and i realized id been missing out on something that was pretty great for  months he was sweet and kind and cautious  not pushythe last couple of days our communication has declined today it all fell apart and im left feeling empty and alone i dont understand i dont know why hed put in that kind of effort for so long just to let it all fall to the waysideim incredibly sad and choking back tears as i write this because im realizing that i must be one of those people thats just meant to be single,3.0
33675,im tired of everything im tired of negative thoughts im tired of doing nothing im tired of feeling that i make other people tired im tired of being tired i dont seem to have any reason for being like this i have no problems in my life yet i feel depressed it feels like i have been depressed since i was born i hate every other people for no reason i almost feel guilty for feeling like this when im surrounded by good families good friends big house and nice foods seriously i should be happy with this kind of life i dont know what is wrong with me,3.0
33676,i dont want to leave  on the way to the airport viva las vegas,2.0
33677,coopwood i knew u wouldthanks ,0.0
33678,love loneliness masturbation adderall depression has been with me since i could remember from being insecure about my weight to my daily routines it continued to manifest more and more now im about to turn  and my bday is on valentines too i have never experienced real love or a serious relationship i dont feel hideous but maybe i am the only way i can approach women is online through apps and i can never seem to get a matchi feel ever so lonely recently i began taking adderall again for weight loss i feel like once i lose this disgusting fat that ruined my life ill feel better i do believe you live differently based on appearance people treat you better if you are attractive and people fall for you more i know im not attractive and yes you can sit there and tell me how one day someone will like me for me and all that bullshit but its simply not true i want to experience lust i was to feel what itfeelsliketobe desired to feel sexy and i cant feel those things while being obese thats why i concluded to form an addiction rather than continue tohatemy bodyyou attractive people dont know how good you have it fuck you dont tell me it will get better most of you cryfeel depressed over a fucking pound you gained or a pimple added to your face go fuck yourself try  years of never experiencing a relationship then come and bitch to me you dont understand what it feelslike to be lonely even when i do lose weight and am attractive how fucking fake is that  now people will talk to me now women will approach me because im attractive fuck society you can argue that hey man somepeople go for whats in the inside  well thats true for the minority but not the majority fuck valentines day ,3.0
33679,on our way to niagra falls then back to ga tonight ,0.0
33680,lose weight    watch this   vdo  ,0.0
33681,dropped the second game  we played poor oh well  place isnt so bad tournament next week,2.0
33682, am rant i dont know if this is a throwaway account i use this username for a lot of other things but im usually a lurker so if anyone sees this in my post history hi i guessim not tired but i have school in  hours i probably wont go though because i think my arm is brokeni really didnt want to go to school an hour or so ago so i just kinda started beating at a spot on my forearm until it seemed like it was broken probably one of the worst decisions ive made in a while but hey physical pain is better than mental pain according to my idiot selfim only a freshman in high school and its already this bad im gonna end up killing myself before my junior yeari lied to my parents and said i fell my mom is gonna check on my arm in the morning it was swollen and it still hurts and even though having a cast is inconvenient as hell i kinda hope it is broken so i get off of school for a day or two i dont even know whats so bad about the idea of going i just really cant and my parents wont let me stay home sick again unless im throwing up or have a fever or somethingit still hurts but not as much its still swollen but not red anymorei thought i would have more to put down but i just cant really think right now im going to sleep,3.0
33683,smallbizrob theyre much more tender than jerky i would say more like true pemmican we only have  retailer in ga in cleveland ,2.0
33684,itschelseastaub you can hope if obama hadnt been elected though a lot of other countries would have been disappointed too ,2.0
33685,is there any way i can make my boyfriend understand andor help him cope with my depression i have been depressed for a little while due to some family issues and i ended up quitting a lot of things like college working out my job and even sometimes i can rarely find the motivation to get out of bed it has really taken a toll on me now my boyfriend tries to help me out whenever and however he can but i can tell he gets really upset that i dont communicate with him like i should the truth is i dont even know how he can help me cope during a depressive episode or a panic attack he has even told me how it is unfair that i dont try to help him understand is there anyway that i can help make things easier for him or even help him understand i love him a lot and hes kind of the only person i have i hate making things difficult for him i have a really hard time expressing my feelings so i just need a little direction or some examples also i have been working on trying to go to therapy but so far i havent found one that my insurance covers,3.0
33686, weeks from today i will be on a plane to india  very exciting,0.0
33687,today ill have lunch in my grandmothers house as i do almost every sunday ,0.0
33688,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
33689,athousandthanks  wish i was there with you  phx is to far away ,2.0
33690,i hate washing dishes ,2.0
33691,shoveling content around today cant stop to fix my wordpress  update mishap until later  htaccess   to the rescue,2.0
33692,suesweet ,2.0
33693,juzagrl its not working in my pc when i use a different pc ill try it haha aaww super friend tlga kita thanks girl  have fun at bora,0.0
33694,thewockeez hey rairai omg i hope your knee will hold out for the tour it wont be the same without ya good luck with the knee ,0.0
33695,ponoko i am glad you like it your site is also interesting to our readers cheers and thanks for the tweet ,0.0
33696,im drunk and not ready for anything else that comes p ,2.0
33697,so street construction outside has made doorway to the bathroom much much more narrow i cant close the damn door ,2.0
33698,oh my god it is so freaking hot outside ,2.0
33699,soooo sad the finals are over  i hate the lakers,2.0
33700,taylormosher you should watch twilight kinda trippy but cute love story ,0.0
33701,  hmmmm maybe the same band who sang about scooby snacks ,0.0
33702,dawnykhao  aww i totally miss him  i miss you too,2.0
33703,is sick pissed off tired depressed you know the works ,2.0
33704, week shoot me now ,2.0
33705, i want to go to smx advanced i guess ill just do yoga instead and come up with more examples of bingfail for fun,2.0
33706,re monicaspingol  happy birthday dette and phil woot woot ,0.0
33707,salyd bajé un album de tu site pero me pide un password el post no lo pone qué hago quotserpents garden hypnotic sounds from the eastquot ,2.0
33708,geez i almost forgot that i only have to be at school at quarter past ten   x,0.0
33709,santanaarias he is the cutest thing ,0.0
33710,went to the tanning bedcame back homewoke up this morning and now im burnt  well at least i wont be called a pale vampire anymor ,0.0
33711,i just joined a web site and my face is on the front page  awesome,0.0
33712,alittletrendy i honestly dont know about hybrid cursing theyre fucking crazy on cursebird not counting things and shit ,2.0
33713,bad day ,2.0
33714,has no social life due to working all week and last ,2.0
33715,i feel like i need comfort all the time dae i dont know why i just do im trying to find ways to give myself comfort instead of getting it from others but that doesnt feel quite right either because i feel like i need it all day every day i just want to be in bed with my fuzzy blanket how do you get past it,3.0
33716,im not feeling too great today sympathy please ,2.0
33717,me go itll be funmy anxiety all ur friends hate u dont go,2.0
33718,he he i still dont know how come i can not go on twitter on my computer ,2.0
33719,i am kind of excited to go to school today i dont know why hopefully it will be a good day ,0.0
33720,people hate my appearance someone say just be yourselfi do it and now people more hate me,3.0
33721,rhysprosser it doesnt come out til thursday here  is it as good as number  i watched it last night lol ltb primus lol x,2.0
33722,hollywills saw you at x factor today only quickly though you didnt come on stage  x,2.0
33723,ddlovato bill beckett and lovato are homies who knew ,0.0
33724,rt onues la depresión le puede ocurrir a cualquiera más de  millones de personas en el mundo la padecen hablar de ello ayuda elim,1.0
33725,had a very awesome hourlong discussion with a work colleague on crossgenre level design theory and game mechanics love this job ,0.0
33726,feeling drained unenthusiastic foggy unmotivated etc looks into vagus nerve and hormones httpsbebrainfitcomvagusnervestimulate   also males you need to look for symptoms of low testosterone and thyroid issues,3.0
33727,i dont think i can cope anymore i have struggled with my depression and anxiety for years i have eupd and complex trauma issues and im waiting for treatment from psychology i was in a psych hospital june last year and i was hospitalized in december as id taken an overdose last weekend i had a meltdown and wanted to hurt myself i punched walls and bruised my hands and elbows i fear i may have ruined my relationship due to drinking and cheating because i was in a self destructive mindset i self harmed on sunday my boyfriend is deciding whether or not he wants to be with me anymore because i fucked everything up and i dont blame him i feel like a horrible person and im failing and i dont know how to handle anything anymore my flats a mess i cant eat i need to contact people and make appointments for bills and stuff and i just cant do it ive woken up today with the same sinking feeling i had when i overdosed i feel genuinely so defeated and i dont want to be alive anymore i am tired of being here being a fuck up and not being in control i just want it all to end i dont want to fight it anymore because i just feel so broken,3.0
33728,zombietweets oh mannnn you are so missing out ,0.0
33729,what can i do to help my mom hello i dont know if this is the right subreddit to do this please tell me if i am in the wrong place for this post   if i am on the right subreddit i would love some suggestions or anything i can do to help my mom she has been struggling with depression for over  years i would say and it has never been worse in my opinion   she has not harmed herself directly but over the years there have been time when she has refused to eat and take care of herself which made me and my dad to somehow force her or convice her that she needs to take care of herself   she was in a psychiatric hospital  times now the first two times she came back i saw the improvement but the last two i have seen none when we visit her in the hospital and when we call she sounds a lot better and the doctors also think that she can go home but the second she comes back its back to old i am working in a different city now and cant come home to be with her constantly anymore and my dad cant handle her anymore he wants to help but after so many years i think he is burned out and raises his voice often when she wont cooperate every morning its the same struggle we want her to get out of bed since its almost afternoon and she doesnt want to we ask her to do super simple stuff wash a couple of dishes or cleanup the table around the house and she doesnt want to do anything we have to force her to bathe and to keep herself clean and we have to make sure she eats every day i have been on vacation for the last two weeks and tried talking with her but i cant seem to get trough to her i am trying to understand what she wants and how can i help her but it just seems that she doesnt want anything and wants to leave us all and be alone the last visit she had in the hospital she even said to my dad that she likes it there which crushed himwhen i heard that she liked the hospital i thought that she liked the structure and knowing what she needs to do everyday so once she came back i tried making a schedule with her of what she would do every day for a week the day after i left to work she stopped doing anything again and just slept through the whole day again i know my dad would get her to get out of bed but the first opportunity she would get she would go lie down again she keeps saying that she is tired and doesnt want to do anything but when she goes to her bed she does not sleep she just lies there staring at nothing she has friends in the neighbourhood and used to love going for coffe to her friends but she doesnt want to do that even but we convince her to go so she socializes atleast a little bit with other people then her familypeople keep saying to her that she needs to snap out of it but i understand that this is a condition that doesnt just go away and she needs to learn how to handle it and try living with it i dont know what is happening in her head and i will probably never understand because she doesnt want to talk with mewhat can i do do we try to find a new hospital for her would weekly talks with a  psychiatrist help i dont know what to do anymore any suggestions or any advice would mean a lot again i am sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this also sorry if there is any grammar mistakes since english is not my first language,3.0
33730,my whole situation i live in a dysfunctional household where im mentally abused and manipulated by my parents my mental health has been vastly deteriorated since  i basically lost most of my high school friends i have a few friends that i still see sometimes and a few that are very unreliable theres a girl im seeing and i really like her but she says shes not a relationship person despite showing me signs that shes really interested in me such as giving me flowers and rolling blunts for the two of us to smoke and hiding it inside the flowers that just seems unlike something just a friend would do and eventually shes moving from here and while we wont be able to see each other as often she said i could visit but this still depresses me not having someone you can really relate to and click with perfectly id love to be with her but i dont know what to do on top of that being in a dysfunctional house makes everything much more lonely and sometimes you just never feel good enough for your parents and after being mentally abused and manipulated by your parents and the past relationships really makes it difficult to find self worth and right now im really struggling and could use some advice ,3.0
33731,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
33732,wemb maybe both ,0.0
33733,not fair  realtiy stinks x gonna go cry now  xxx,2.0
33734,everyone sign  just sign it dont b lazyy  retweet,0.0
33735,carlaalouise biiatch i think i might be a loner  ahh well ill go find james rofl ,2.0
33736,benebedon hav been fortunat to have had stuff published yeay me  compleate fluke oh anf i er drink  much wine on sundays ,0.0
33737,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
33738,how do i prevent my crippling depression from taking precedence over the death of my boyfriends father i have battled severe depression ever since i was  years old it always comes in waves lasts about a week and peaks the  and  day i become relentlessly insecure i need constant reassurance i close myself off from everyone around me and push them away i cry uncontrollably all day i lose all motivation become inexplicably suspicious and i over think and over analyze every negative detail of my life and these are just the basic symptomsas fate would have it my episode began yesterday evening i did well communicating the impending sadness to my boyfriend and tried my best to suppress it this morning my depression took full control of my body and my mental health was in shambles its typically not too much of a problem as my boyfriend does a remarkable job trying to take care of me except today my boyfriends father passed away i dont want to make anything at all about me i want to be there physically mentally and emotionally  for my boyfriend however attempting to surpress my depression symptoms always seems to magnify them i cant just hide away from my boyfriend in his time of need but i cant make him feel obligated to baby me right now either as it is right now im faking being okay so hard and its killing me what do i do any helpful tips or suggestions anyone ever been in a similar situation im losing it and i just really need advice,3.0
33739,davemalby thats all it takes  loli am impressed  ,0.0
33740,why i always fuck up im just a complete and total moron why was i born into a life like this i couldve been anything but instead im just a fucking idiot who cannot do anything right in life on top of being socially awkward and a total disappointment i wish i was reborn into a better life,3.0
33741,captrubex  that was due to a crash in the stock market that was totally aviodable but people just pa ,0.0
33742,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
33743,rt amandarschill life this summer has been one long drawnout game of is my mental health improving or have i just had a lot of good dis,2.0
33744,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
33745,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
33746,i wanna do something tonighttttt ,2.0
33747,misses kstr i didnt get to see him today  avou honey,2.0
33748,phuqphase  sorry to disappoint,2.0
33749,rpatzhood listening to music now and was doin some homework ,0.0
33750,im at my lowest im currently sitting in my car in a truck stop parking lot with nine dollars to my name i lost my job at the start of the month lost my apartment the day after christmas and now im late on my car payment also where ive been sleepingmy depression is crippling i barely got out of bed before i was kicked out of my apt now i know that ending it all would be easier that fighting im scared im alone and i dont see how life can get better ,3.0
33751,dying my hair black ,0.0
33752,someone come over i have no ride to go out ,2.0
33753,mariamabdillahi welcome back chica hope you had a nice break ,0.0
33754,im really lonely my family is never home and my friends never really contact me unless i do it to them first its easy to notice how everyone seems to forget i exist until i try to make contact,3.0
33755,i dont know how to carry forward ive lost my mind my marbles theyre completely gone i never liked marbles much anyway i guess thats not much of a loss  the mind part though that was important like i used that i liked that part of me i liked thinking and feeling like my thoughts had value i liked feeling happiness without drugs ive done so many at this point i dont know what even instigated all of this but surely it happened and for certain i am hereyou know why i made that that little paragraph break because i told myself i should i used to want to be a writer god damn it now i hardly know when a paragraph ends now i hardly know how to start a sentence or how to read a book what good writing actually feels likeit started oh god i dont know ages ago ive been like this for a while just getting worse what made it apparent was my acid trip no question  ego death existential dread intense fear as my world broke down and i essentially experienced temporary psychosis or maybe it was clarity thats what fucks me up everything fucks me up the internet fucks me up doctors fuck me up my parents fuck me up everything i talk to or think about seems to put me in a spiral because i hardly know what my own thoughts are anymorei cant trust anyone if i cant trust myself and i cant even hear what i have to saywell i can sometimes but its mostly this bullshit negative ass awful garbage that spews into other peoples minds and infects them until were all drowning in my misery but they can always swim you know they can always get away i sure cant nope no  sireeeee this is just me this is what ive become a husk a ghost hardly a man at alloh gosh i revealed my gender this is getting personal as hell nowbut look i have more more to say i took effexor and i think it fucked me up my whole personality changed oh i used to benot exactly stable no question all over the map whatever expression you wanna use but man i was me i believed in me i felt my emotions and didnt question them and that was that and life was life and things were bad or good but they were surely things and i was surely alive and i could surely find meaning in everything that happened around mei am going to potentially start on dexedrine and i am horrified but i am also kind of impartial its a weird mix how much worse could it get honestly how much worse could i possibly becomeall my friends hate me nowbut hardly as much as i hate myself hardly as much as i hate what ive becomei have nothing to ask of youi just wanted an ear throwaway ,3.0
33756,so for the rest of the summer when son goes daily to studio he wants to run also i will be travelin next  days not wokring out ,2.0
33757,weirdchina thank you for followfriday ,0.0
33758,inarijoker the good boy is sad must give lots of  and huggies ,1.0
33759,is afraid of the dark ,2.0
33760,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
33761,looking through my friends photos from nyc and getting super jealous ,2.0
33762,rt schmueldavid realjeffreyp i am so sorry  we are with youis this the story,2.0
33763,erinmusicluver doing it right now ,0.0
33764,dtsofficial well on that note im going to bed now got a long days work ahead of me ,2.0
33765,has a headache ,2.0
33766,pyroonaswing aww  ive got like  bucks i can donate to the rob needs a new imac foundation,2.0
33767,�cont feed and put kids down now to bed alone ,2.0
33768,depression rage its normal right im pretty depressed actually its been a struggle to keep myself safe from me i cry myself to sleep alot of the time i had confided in a few people because last time i nearly died everyone was like you should have told me you were feeling so terrible unfortunately it appears one of the people i trusted told someone else who has never liked me and is a straight up bully anyway this person is now slowly chipping away at my resolute to not harm myself and working to isolate me from my pillars of hope unfortunately no matter how much pleading ive done with my friends they dont seem to see the person for the horrible human it is all thats happening is i am getting pushed further from my support imover  and seeing how ridiculously highschool that isthe thing is with the crippling depression comes some pretty ravenous rage i havent ever physically hurt someone but i have spent the evening fantasizing about smashing this bullys face in with a baseball bat it stops me planning to suicide but it scares me that i am so angrydoes any one else get depression rage like that am i losing my mind to this insidious disease  feels like im slowly dying anyway ,3.0
33769,♥️ httpstcoshnvniumsw,1.0
33770,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
33771,looking for houses ,0.0
33772,oh no tea drops on my keyboard i should stop drinking jasmine in bed   ,2.0
33773,people need to hurry up amp get to work so i can start bugging them with incessant ims i know way to sell it yes ,0.0
33774,eevelynr just wet me ,2.0
33775,christinawrites one is really cute but married   oh well,2.0
33776,jillstanek thanks jill  i hope you and everyone else is safe today and the whole event is non violent  please be careful ,2.0
33777,rt marawilson trying to view my anxiety not as something menacing but just an annoying unwelcome presence like a neighbor in a  s,2.0
33778,fimpa jesus please keep us updated  thanks,0.0
33779,i feel like im living a double life during school i have lied about myself and built up a reputation that if i showed how i really live outside of school i dont know if people would accept me or not and if i told my family of how i lived in school i think maybe most will accept me but my dad might just disapprove of me more i dont know what to do and it adds to my anxiety every day,3.0
33780,had more nightmares last night about the same thing as usual and is still feeling pretty shit about it all ,2.0
33781,saravananp mine is b north still need to decide aaru hithavaru ninage ee moovarolage to vote ,0.0
33782,mitchelmusso are u liking buffalo so far ,0.0
33783,been hella depressed lately but this shit gets on my nerves about  months ago my best friend betrayed me very hard i dont need to details but he talked to my girl and hid it from me and so did she he proceeded to talk to her even after i broke up with her and never told me anything about  months after that i liked this girl im talking like the good shit kinda love i was hardcore into her and my other friend told me shes lesbian and woudlnt like me so i kinda had one of those borderline rejection things where she rejects you as you call it off i didnt think much of it and proceeded into the present day my best friend has been dming less and talking to me less and leaving whenever i need help another note for context is this week is turning out horrible i have extremely bad grades that my parents are going to make me feel shitty for my pet died and i burried him yesterday and none of my friends seemed to care as of today my crush that rejected me put a picture of her messages and his messages simply saying how hes a good person and how he made her day seems wholesome and all but the thing is we swore to never pull this shit on eachother hes been talking to her for a bit and hasnt told me and hes my best friend we used to be hella close,3.0
33784, congratulation  about the icehockey victory against switzerland ,0.0
33785,omg you guys  i got twitter lol caytee,0.0
33786,anaitaa aw im sorry  but as i said before i wish you all the luck in the world youll do great no worries ,2.0
33787,  my future job ,0.0
33788,feeling incredibly lonely the sense of loneliness is getting drastically worse im  and in university when i was in my old school aged  i had a group of friends who over time i drifted apart from i do have very bad social anxiety so i didnt really talk much but i still felt happy i had friends i hung out with and lucky that they didnt mind i was quite now im in university and dont know anyone ive been here since september there is a lot of nice people but im always to anxious to talk and start conversation or carry on conversation some nice people do notice this and dont mind and they sometimes come up to me because im always on my own working and ask how i am and make small talk i appreciate it alot because it usually is most human interaction i get but i know that if i dont strat to continue those conversations they will slowly stop coming up to me im always too scared to go up to people to talk because i feel like im a burden and they dont want to talk to me  i miss my parents more and more and find myself wanting to go back home to visit more often,3.0
33789,nsalassi im glad youre feeling better sorry about the extra duty though ,2.0
33790,i have no coke ,2.0
33791,just woke up ,2.0
33792,allanasaur i know how you feel shaun tweeted me back yesterday ,0.0
33793,stayingyoung i usually do if there is choice but i am lucky in that most foods i love are generally very healthy except ice cream  ,0.0
33794, oh and you never answered my text  you okay little bean,2.0
33795,bunnybridget haha you just love hot dogs dont you hope you had your normal yellow mustard ,0.0
33796,alexalltimelow say   i used google points for honesty no  okay ,2.0
33797,anxiety through the roof 😱,1.0
33798,rt hannne today has been a sad day i kept hearing your voice in my head tony youll always live in my heart say hiiiii to chime and,0.0
33799,last day in pittsburgh  kind of depressing if you ask me,2.0
33800,i am tired of these mood swings its like my depression is always coming and going within the blink of an eye one week ill be very sad and thinking about the past weekend just to get me through the week and the next week i will be all excited to go to college and ready for the challenges it will bring i plan out my week start thinking about how to improve my future and what not its like i can never keep a steady mood its rare when im right in the middle although lately its been much better im either exuberant or depressed most of the time sometimes my depression feels like it will only last a few days or even hours if thats even possible i get that odd feeling in my stomach and i start feeling down and negative but then a few hours later ill feel an uplifting feeling and i start thinking positive thoughts out of nowhere and then i balance outi just wish my mood was more stable,3.0
33801,tommcfly cant wait till yous are back  and i cant wait for the new album bet its gonna be amazing  ,0.0
33802,rather be healthy alone than sick with someone else dr phil   ,0.0
33803,in a terrible mood i need cheering up ,2.0
33804,im not even a legal adult yet and i can already tell that my life has no purpose hardly any friends wasted intelligence and no directionambition i dont want to be here anymore i want to die ,3.0
33805,fabekeily because i just sent you  dms for referrals for your business to make you   thats why  ,0.0
33806,im trying to scale down my depression naps i have chronic depression and it makes me sleep a lot i usually sleep about  hours a night and then i nap up to  hours a day my therapist and i have been discussing this and we want to work on scaling them down im excited to try it but the only problem is i have an extremely hard time trying to move when i wake up ive heard of people sniffing ammonia or squeezing a stress ball to get the blood flowing any suggestions,3.0
33807,rt ozf this is bleak as hell  median income in australian hasnt increased at all since  httpstcoefuzpybtsr,2.0
33808,bunnydozer did you lose you twitter ,2.0
33809,i ate only organic whole foods the entire day todaywhich is really quite an accomplishment but still feeling massively overloaded ,2.0
33810,duckydynamo some hotel rooms really are just that small ,0.0
33811, hi mandi great voice thanks for following me ,0.0
33812,punched in the face not goodmy head is sore  x,2.0
33813,sandrascully yay for sleep  cures everythingwell almost everything ,0.0
33814,hannahiloveyou im reading a ff ,2.0
33815,does anyone else have an empty feeling inside i dont know how to explain it but i just feel empty i hate being in public and im just not eating and ive gotten skinnier the only thing thats stopping me from ending it all are my  dogs it hurts me to think how they would react with me gone especially my small one who was sick and underweight when we got him my large dog is a beautiful white labradoodles and kept me alive in my toughest times theyre the only thing i have left without them i would be gone     i also get bullied in school for my appearance because u have a medical condition which fucking sucks its not life threatening but i hate it my family dont know this but ive tried to take my own life twice i know i need help but im too scared to talk to someone,3.0
33816,how do i shake off this constant wave of sadness why is it easier to ignore this ever looming darkness when im being active i know its there but i can still function but in the back of my head i know as soon as i put whatever im doing down im going to get hit with this wave of sadness that i can physically feel it have to sit up and start running or just constantly stare at something on my phone to distract myself im literally running away from things and i dont know how long i can keep up i have to be exhausted to fall asleep cause i cant just lie down and wait for sleep to come even then i have the worst possible sleep i thought it would get better things just keep getting worse sorry im usually a people pleaser and if it was the real me i would have posted something funny on another thread but i feel this is the place for me and i have to bum you guys out ,3.0
33817,my daddys gone to germany but hes coming back tomorrow  ,0.0
33818,danecook you are extremely deep ,0.0
33819, yeah i suppose you are right better get started ,2.0
33820,triciapsguard meeee tooooo but its freezing outside and i dont want to miss this i have a job to do ,0.0
33821, awwwww  i want u to go there,2.0
33822,you ever get the urge to just run at first you think no way no way  wwwhat if someone sees but then it happens you take that first step which turns into that first skip thenwhoooshand just like that youre running down the street full speed genuinely smiling for the first time in too long of a time finally   being the first word to pop into your headfinally escaping the warzone you call a mind finally alluding the grasps of the monstrosity know as depression and his kin anxiety finally feeling as if you have escaped all of lifes absurdities seeing a finish line titled happiness  fast approachingbut thenblamyou crash into a lady pushing her  yorkie in a baby stroller thrusting you back into reality and like a bag of bricks every negative thought comes back to plague you once again,3.0
33823,please tell me im wrong this is not tonsilitis that im feeling ,2.0
33824,finally leaving the hospitalbroke the tip of my finger at work ,2.0
33825,lostinsplendor  is cool i bought what i was going to yesterday so well just have to find something else to do ,0.0
33826,watching my family fall apart trying to protect my mental health keeping my gpa up working full time new inte ,1.0
33827,i miss my mom already ,2.0
33828,mocass awwwww  feel better dude that sucks being an quotoldquot irish dancer is rough on the body,2.0
33829,watching the trailer of final destination  aka final destination death trip  ,0.0
33830,how can i increase my dependency on my therapist in between counseling sessions i feel the need to message my therapist in between my counseling sessions a lot which only serves to heighten my distress because he often doesnt have the time to respond so i freak out about the lack of responsemy behaviors occasionally gets reinforced because sometimes he does send a nice and thoughtful responsehow can i increase my independence when im in distress in between sessions and avoid falling into this messaging my therapist behavior,3.0
33831,had a very long dream last night about therealjordin she lived in spain and was my friend and married to someone famous ,0.0
33832,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
33833,my feelings control me  i dont control my feelings does anyone else feel this way i feel like i am a prisoner to my own feelings how i wake up feeling determines how im going to feel for the rest of the day and i cant break out of that it feels almost like my brain is predetermining my fate and i just have to survive and go along with it dont know if i make sense just wanted to see if anyone could relate ,3.0
33834,on the bus to mpls going to costa rica gonna miss everyone ,2.0
33835, i dont see your updates frequently now ,0.0
33836,rt ltskardashians when youre having a good day and suddenly anxiety wants to join in on your fun ,1.0
33837,its windy and im dizzy and sick ,2.0
33838, gaypatriot check out her other tweets you may well be less sad at her waste,2.0
33839,my beloved laptop has got its first scratch and its all my fault ,2.0
33840,has an addiction to this song right now   beautiful ,0.0
33841,how does it feel to be alone for christmas hello everyone today is the start of week long festival celebrations in our community its kind of like christmas for usas a kid i used to look forward to this festival but today i feel so lonely sad and depressedi wish i could talk to somebody about it,3.0
33842,rt mirgucci are people losing interest in me or is my anxiety being a bitch novel by me,1.0
33843,kimfemetal that was happening to me  until we got the new mattress the alternative that i can think of is a cold or flu side effect ,2.0
33844,not raining at my house ,2.0
33845, hahaha oyeah i saw ur vid anyone else but you nice  and i love the guitar,0.0
33846,rt sagequick i just started watching this and every man and person needs to watch every episode share and be vulnerable too many suf,0.0
33847,escuchando dark side of the moon mientras me apuro ,0.0
33848,johnny logan was on iradio today  off to galwaaaaay to spend money d,0.0
33849,morning already  slept pretty good  ready for a new day  hope my sister is going to be ok  she is really sick amp she is scaring me ,2.0
33850,i have wanted to see bradpaisley since i was in the  grade hes coming aug  and my moms going guess who ,1.0
33851,eating brigadeiro at  am what a life ,0.0
33852,carlos is droppn me off  i heart my cuzin,0.0
33853,pattycor thanks ,0.0
33854,tgardner just stopping to say hello to you quothello to youquot ,0.0
33855,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
33856,i think i understand why people dont walk around la now its not because its spread out its cause its so fugly ,0.0
33857,its far too cold to be at work ,2.0
33858,cyrandorman sounds like you had fun  hope migraine goes soon i slept badly  again  guess i was trying to process a lot,0.0
33859,erewhon org crispy brown rice cereal  yum too good love like rice krispies dangerous cant keep in house  also  gf gfree cgft,0.0
33860,signing out for the night hope everyone has a tweeterful evening see you on here tomorrow ,0.0
33861,cessygalguerra toddlazaro yoooo ,2.0
33862,rachel and i are running away today dont worry well be back later ,0.0
33863,is going to take a midday nap dammit no more man blanket ,2.0
33864,jimbourassa  thanks itll do,0.0
33865,rt cosmicbeech youre not alonesuicide lgbtq domestic violence child abuse ,2.0
33866,pjgariel yeah still chilly here too but sposed to return to normal temps this week  gonna spend some time with the girls this week ,0.0
33867,passed a car vs motorcycle accident on the highway this morning i dont usually pray but in this case ill make an exception ,2.0
33868,rt  update cold n upset n sad n awful,2.0
33869,anyone know a cure to insomnia ,2.0
33870,experimenting with freshbooks i hear thats what the pros use ,0.0
33871,oh no tae im so sad sending my prayers to him and his family,1.0
33872,contract terminated i didnt know where else to post this so im here sorry if its not where im supposed to be and sorry in advance for the long posti work as a special education teacher in an affluent school district in texas its my third year teaching i never wanted to teach special ed but i figured i could do it for a few years before i could teach a subject i really love this was the year i finally felt a little more comfortable with the paperwork and i was thinking even though i dont want to work on that particular campus anymore everyone is the very gossipy holierthanthou types ive worked as a teaching assistant on campuses not like that at all i very much wanted to stay in the district and stay in special education even ive had a lot of people on me this year and ive made some mistakes but theyve been mistakes that anyone could have made or they were mistakes that were largely someone elses fault a couple of times ive left paperwork till the last minute but its never late i figured since it was my last year of probation they had to be more strict with me and this particular campus has a reputation in the district for being kind of ridiculous in terms of rules i know that if i had been on another campus this wouldnt have happened well on friday the principal of the school called me into her office i sat with her and the assistant principal while she told me that they have to terminate my contract for the district and not renew it for the next year we have to think of whats best for the district she said like im a danger to others its not personal she kept saying even though i know they dont like me the assistant principal has looked at me and rolled her eyes when ive said hi to her in the hallway for example i feel like the biggest failure ive put my blood sweat and tears into this job mostly tears as i tend to have a breakdown every time im in trouble for something you should have seen this coming she said we have put so many resources and training into you to try to get you up to par for this district and we still consistently have problems with you fucking ouch the upside is that i still get paid through august a luxury most people dont have in other fields but i still have to go into work every day and act like everything is fine until may i dont know how to deal with that i know what went on is confidential between me the principal assistant principal and the counselor but i know that wont be the case our counselor is a gossip and im sure will let it slip i think the worst part of this is i teach mostly kindergarten and i wont get to see these kids grow up i wont get to see the progress they make its breaking my heart my plan was to stay in this district for the rest of my life see my students grow this is all ive known i was an assistant in the district for two years before i became a teacher ive worked here longer than ive worked anywhere elsethis whole weekend ive stayed on my couch and eaten junk food it also doesnt help i caught a cold friday morning so im physically feeling like crap too im trying to write lesson plans for the week but i cant even concentrate  im not emotionally ready to look for other jobs in other districts ill probably start that this week any sage advice any way for me to not feel like a total and complete failure how can i go into work every day now until may with this knowledge this campus and the people on it have made me miserable ive started going to therapy because of it i take antidepressants and anti anxiety meds ive stuck to it because i knew that next year i could just switch schools but now im back at square one ,3.0
33873,has given up for now and is off to enjoy a day in the sun ,0.0
33874,support my girlfriend struggles with severe depression she had a date set and everything my best friend before i met her kept her from doing it and introduced us together since then shes been on the happy pill to make her well happy shes been getting so much better i didnt know her when she was bad bad but even just a month ago she was depressed everyday on the pill today was the first time in over a week she was bad im writing this because she doesnt feel comfortable not able to so im doing this for her can anyone and everyone share their stories on how the pill went meaning if you were on it forever if everything got better if it was someone who made it better something anything will help im just worried about her and im willing to try anything to,3.0
33875,thisisdavina you know as soon as you do youll get the other odd one and end up with a box full of  again  happened to me ,0.0
33876,sokasista peer pressure peer pressure  and you need carbs ,2.0
33877,rt yylaanaa sad girl hours ,2.0
33878,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
33879,rt heartlessgayyy me todays going to be a good daymy anxiety ,0.0
33880,ihi jen  its not brian something very sick that was said about me by someone else  but im dealing with that  all good  gotta run ,0.0
33881,morning all  miserable day   daughter got sunburned yesterday  silly girl didnt use the suncream she took with her ,2.0
33882,holy shit just got a call from esquareed of busted chin fame holy shit holy shit holy shit   ,2.0
33883,first day back at work in  weeks  i will miss my boys,2.0
33884,i survived a car crash that could have been fatal and all i felt was angry that i survived it was a high speed freeway accident the cars went from freeway speeds to a dead stop in seconds and i wasnt quick enough on the brakes because my car was top of the line in safety ratings i walked away with nothing but some bruising from the seatbelt all others involved had sturdy vehicles too so theyre fine thankfully it was about a year ago and i still struggle with emptiness and depression i have my whole life and im desperate to feel okay i keep looking for solutions but there are none except a certain ssri it worked in high school really well but i cant get the same effect from it when that crash happened i wasnt grateful to be alive with virtually no injuries i was pissed any other car ive ever driven and it should have killed me i was angry at fate the universe everything that i was alive there are amazing people who love their lives and they die in these accidents all the time why did i live it felt like some unseen force being cruel on so many levelsi dont want to die now i just want to feel okay,3.0
33885,is avin a bbq  but then bk  cardiff  work but shall b cumin bk home hehe,0.0
33886,it just hit me therez only  more dayz n am done scl  after  year in this scl it was amazin  year of ma life the best meet cool ppl,2.0
33887,how to live with all my deformities  i feel like i am a biological error that should be eliminated hi  i am      i was born normal and everything was ok  but everything started at puberty  my skeleton didnt develop as a normal male  my shoulder width is as wide as my rib cage and hips  my mandible is underdeveloped  have a slight degree of genu valgum  i was fat and so depressed and i went on a huger skrike which resulted in much weight loss very rapidly  and now i have some bad loose skin  i was circumcised at  and it went wrong and much of my skin was removed  i am very depressed  i live in a country where a family is everything  meaning every member should get married to father or mother new members  and my family will ask me to get married one day  but i really believe i am an error and i better be alone and die in much pain and depression  i have been always a top student  have a lot of good friends who love me but they love me cos they pity  i study in college and see girls look at me and laugh  it kills me  my questions are  how can i convince my parents that i am nothing and should  not even talk to a girl not to get married  how can i live my whole life alone without a love  without children  i have been living alone for  years now and i am about to lose my mind  i always tried to be a better man but nothing worked  tnx ,3.0
33888,scentsys party ,0.0
33889,i love my brothers ,0.0
33890,ugh the last disc of dexter season one is checked out ,2.0
33891,back to work ,2.0
33892,one of the roughest days of my life im going to go lay in bed and cry for  little while ill be back a bit later ,2.0
33893,stresseed i cant believe they only had one pair god the perfect shoes ughh ,2.0
33894,ddewinter you can get the trial but i bought a license and i was able to expense it ,0.0
33895,night everyone especially to nicimileyfan ,0.0
33896,alisonhaislip should have never sold the jetta ford  fail just sayin ,0.0
33897,easy way to get a ton of followerscheck it out its free  ,0.0
33898,true fact of life  i fucking cried in chapter  when edward said quoti thought that candles were romanticquot because of what happened ,2.0
33899,doing my makeup ,0.0
33900,yall probably like this bitch wont shut up about these damn whales but that shit real life sad as fuck,1.0
33901,ooomz mixdev and hnprashanth are two experts i know of ,0.0
33902,many stress on me coz of my thesis😑 i want to tell this to ong amp but i cant coz im not in fancafe😑 i just want to tell him pufff,0.0
33903,out the queue ,0.0
33904,but to avoid some people it looks like i am ,2.0
33905,depressed by getting rejected just now im a  yo gay guy whos been rejected by a guy whom i thought super nice and funny he blocked me on the only platform we are connected and now i have no way of communicating with him i never thought id feel depression at this age for being rejected i am so ashame to show myself as someone vulnerable and weak to my family and friendsi just dont know how to deal with this ,3.0
33906,dropstep yep needed to finish some stuff   morrow some custom umbraco coding to finish another project work umbraco,2.0
33907,ladywrites yes lady  i hate that  i hate hate laundry  sometimes it is just better to buy new clothes ,0.0
33908,how to help a depressed friend looking for suggestions on how to help a deeply depressed longtime friend weve been friends since college and shes been depressed to varying degrees since then but shes as bad off now as ive ever seen her she lives way out in the sticks in a superremote area and when we make plans to meet up she often bails saying shes too depressed i really think she needs help but my previous suggestions havent gotten her to a therapist or doctor would be very grateful for your ideas thank you,3.0
33909,duh bsk hrs ngerjain bhs inggris lg  malesin deh,2.0
33910,is watching the omen ,0.0
33911,in the business center of the hotel chargin up my  player for my   hr plane ride  hoo ,2.0
33912,rt desirecleopatra demetriusharmon im not sure if anyone is aware but this is more important than it seems people dont let men be thi,0.0
33913,self care made me lose my best friend i usually let people walk all over me but about  months ago i was feeling brave i decided to stop being a pushover and actually try to care about myself and my mental stability my best friend and i or i guess i should say ex best friend now had plans and for about the hundredth time she pushed me aside for some dick and a couple bucks she even made me be third wheel on my birthday so i called her out on it and we havent talked since i wish i never had the courage to stand up for myself now shes out partying with some new people and im home alone feeling worthless and abandoned and its my own fault i really thought our friendship was strong enough to withstand a little fight about boys but i was wrong i guess being someones bestfriend for  years means nothing being there for them when they were going through the foster system means nothing being welcomed in by my entire family as if she was one of us means nothing even the family members that dont like me love her and ask about her constantly i wish i could go back to that moment i wish i had kept my mouth shut even though shes an asshole i wish i still had my best friend i miss her ,3.0
33914,kimmiewong how does she look like just another human being right ,0.0
33915,please do share your trick to calm down there are trigger moments when i barrel down the path of self loathing  helplessness and more i am guessing a lot of people must be dealing with the same thing can you share some coping mechanisms that has worked for you,3.0
33916,terrified of the fucking storm ,2.0
33917,dannybrown let me know what you find out about this tweetjack dude im totally locked out of my blog ,2.0
33918,tripped twice at work today the second time with a food cart carrier landing on me my lower back and side are sore ,2.0
33919,lord happy sunday thanks for this week god  ,0.0
33920,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
33921,  i havent touched single player at all really ,2.0
33922,mooooooooorning peoples loving the sunshine millions ,0.0
33923,ive been so depressed for months ive been so depressed regarding my self esteem not my physical appearance but how useful i am to society  i just graduated college in august with a business degree honors student the whole nine yards i had a great job making  a year just weeks after graduating my depression and anxiety got the worst of me and i quit on the spot just a few months later its now january   months after i left my great job i now work at a pharmacy part time making only  i feel like a failure all my hard work wasted i feel like ill never have a good jobadvance in my career i feel like even if i do get a good job i will be terrible at my job and just flat out miserable depressed and anxious as i am now work feels like a drag i go there cry sometimes leave and go to sleep i wake up everyday dreading going into work because i want so much more for myself then making  an hour i want to be successful happy or even just content i find myself to be very motivated i search for jobs all day long and go on tons of interviews but it just doesnt seem to work out because i know ill just quit again has anyone else felt this way sorry for the rambling i cant seem to focus very much ,3.0
33924,exhausted and sick ,2.0
33925,vanessaahudgens yay you made it im glad i could help ,0.0
33926,i dont want to get up i want to stay in bed all day instead im getting a shower and going to babysit til  then taking a nap ,0.0
33927,robertawillis love ya back sweetie ,0.0
33928,tommcfly yes your right there pretty awesome ,0.0
33929,hi guys my dog pyper is ill  been looking after her all day i feel really sorry for hershes not well at all hope she will be ok see u,2.0
33930,rt  when ur depression hits u outta nowhere ,2.0
33931,i neeed a blackberry asap ,2.0
33932,kanye west should body with santa cluase ,0.0
33933,if i could just get a job and not live with my parents id be less depressed the economy has recovered great too bad i graduated in  and have only had one fulltime job since then so i look like a piece of shit to employers when they could have a new grad im  i will live in my parents house forever and i dont know how i can ever fix that,3.0
33934,im a little sunburnt from the beach but who cares im not as bad as the other  love you guys ,0.0
33935,i hope patrick is okay ,2.0
33936,kourtneykardash i watched for like hours  it was very good  especially because i missed some episodes so i got to see them yesterday,0.0
33937,procrastinating again geo exam tomoro feeling rly rly rly anxious ,2.0
33938,apparently i dont seem depressed on the outside today in school someone asked me are you ever not happy i answered something like what why and he said because you always smile i dont know him well but i have nearly all of my classes with him so when we were assigned a group together i totally didnt expect this   but it made me think about this i have always felt like i am the one ruining the mood of everyone around me with my feelings and that is probably true for those who are close to me and those who i told about my depression and suicidal thoughts but apparently this is not the case for everyone   i really didnt expect this question considering that i had teary eyes and was about to cry for a whole english class last week  well at least this tells me that i am good at hiding my feelings right,3.0
33939,maybe if i become emotionally attached to my anxiety itll leave me too,2.0
33940,tenia ℅ de bateria apague el teléfono y lo puse a cargar ahorita que tiene ℅ y que puedo durar toda la noche co ,1.0
33941, i actually hate me life ,2.0
33942,cant get the jonas album today at midnight ,2.0
33943,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
33944,wonderful day saw tons of friends  im going to miss princess,0.0
33945,besides losing my headphones today i feel like today was productive and good and i hope to continue this week with ,0.0
33946,bmolko gosh ive never seen so many little molko pictures on here in my life  youre really getting the hang of it  have a good day,0.0
33947,just met him amp got a picture ,0.0
33948, dude he really is remember the terrorist in afghan cave giving orders thats him  ,0.0
33949,templesmith im glad i bought all  wormwood trades and hoxhord trade  weeks ago then  awesome sketches u did in them by the way ,0.0
33950,i hate giving jonathan shots ,2.0
33951,does anyone else feel like being themselves takes effort i just feel i like trying to be anything at all like how i was before this all started is such a effort ive become so bland and apathetic about anything and if i want anyone to like me i have to put on like this fake version of myself thats what theyre used to but it takes so much energy out of me that after a day of doing it i have to not see anyone for a few days to recover,3.0
33952,lost and dont know what to do throwaway just because i needed to get this outi feel like my life is going no where in  have never had any form of real relationship have a shit job that is dead end my only two friends are going away in a month or two army and moving country and in going to be alone as theyre the only people i talk toalso the only people i can hold a convo withim fucking awkward and shy and feel empty inside dont feel emotions only loneliness and cant find any joy in my lifethe last three times i have been out drinking with friends im that one that somehow gets invited but not really anyones freind that doesnt get talked to ive ended up walking off alone sitting on a bench crying and contemplating life all three time in the rainon new years the only person in the group i was with didnt make it and i didnt want to leave early but felt so isolated ended up just buying lots of drinks sitting on a chair and typed a suicide note on my phone in the clubdeleted it when i remembered i made it because i didnt want people to find itstarted jogging wanting to change even changing up my looks but it all feels pointless and in slowly lossing hope in changesorry this ended up more as a rant needed to put this all down somewhere wondering if its a moment of weakness,3.0
33953,hottsnowflake never  smh i dont own flats  lol,2.0
33954,stunes can i request peach juice instead of oj for mine ,0.0
33955,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
33956,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
33957,having a great afternoon with my family  looking forward to a bbq tonight ,0.0
33958,billyleo i am done at  local time  its not too bad other than the social implications  i survive ,0.0
33959, haha damn hoooott btw i miss you ,2.0
33960,moved out ,0.0
33961,mmmtsoi  sorry thanks for coming out with us ,2.0
33962,aydsman have a coffee for me ,0.0
33963,rt samhtweets thousands of young people will struggle to get the help they need for mental health problems ,1.0
33964,xlad cut willy and read ur blog poor u with that twat as a neighbor  x x,2.0
33965,iunno if i like my new cuttt  idk idkkk,2.0
33966,will sleep now tomorrow starts the last week in school  kind of sad,2.0
33967,i still want to die please kill meim just a failure and i hate everything about myself i hate myself so so much please let me die in peacethis might be my last post depends if attempt  will kill me or not,3.0
33968,last nights heavy rain has pummeled my tomato plants  i might have to scale down the expected crop this time around ,2.0
33969,this is for never ever ever getting back at you like i wanted to ohh this is for everyone who breathes   school boy humor ,0.0
33970,my mate alex met travis barker   sad times but il be in la next monday so life aint that bad,2.0
33971,lizzie gets to go on a field trip to sandy lake no fair ,2.0
33972,patriceegging re enthusiasm well hey glad to be of service then i am the idea man ,0.0
33973,is sitting wondering hoping wishing i dont really want to go to school  health first up then maths then dance ahhh,2.0
33974,frankandderol hey girls  how are you im a big fan any way you could send me your songs please xoxo,0.0
33975,waiting for quotupquot in  to start  wish id felt well enough for a trip to the science ctrso sick of being sick ,2.0
33976,ilang why oh why sana hasmin na lang  or something else,2.0
33977,finally home sweet home with my bfffff  lalanc  breakfast at tiffanys ,0.0
33978,completely screwed up the cakeoops  at least it tastes good it says quotwelcom homequot hahahh fail,0.0
33979,hey yall  waiting for school to start   pages of my rough draft done   to go    harder than i expected,2.0
33980,work then gym sooo tired ,2.0
33981,beckybuckwild i forgot it was tuesday   i wanted to go,2.0
33982,boring why is everything so boring i mean everything when i watch youtube and i watch a vid of a game and then i really want to play it but after one round its boring af every activity is boring,3.0
33983,im sad   btstwt  i love u so sm,1.0
33984,l�u r�i kh�ng c�n th�i quen xem phim rp na th�i  nh� xem online cho l�nh vy ,0.0
33985,why is every woman i take out viewing pregnant  i wanna baby,2.0
33986,thesupergirl oh i almost forgot ill upload more sara ,0.0
33987,hates uppercase file and folder names because i dont like file systems shouting at me ,2.0
33988,back from a weeks holiday in peak district highlights real ale and sunsets httptrimmqwz and an iphone wth internet access ,0.0
33989,wondering what happened at the bottom of the street this morning  doesnt look good with cop cars and a forensic truck  ,2.0
33990,oh bugger monday and its  ,2.0
33991,minkus are you hitting up the jobros tour after wrapping up with warped ,0.0
33992,i dont like people moving away theyre leaving me behind ,2.0
33993,lilliput he has the zombie swine flu all he wants now is brains ,2.0
33994,entitiesrus well its very much appreciated im doing some website updates tonight ill put you on our links page ,0.0
33995,sigh got the disconnect notice for the power this am all i need now is to find a thousand dollars ,2.0
33996,geminitwisted whats wrong  ,2.0
33997,marzeepandear dont be so negative at least youre doing it im probably gonna be lazy and not do it all youll get a good grade ,0.0
33998,if the breakaway  does go ahead im worried that sky are going to buy all rights to it seems like the sort of thing theyd do ,2.0
33999,failing college and very depressed ive been in college for  semesters and im barely getting by my classes i have a  which barely lets me have my major which is biochemistry im terrified for the future i dont know what else i would study and i feel like its too late to change majors even if i get a  for the next  semesters i will still have less than a  i always wanted to be a pharmacist or pa but i just feel so dumb like i cant do it my social life is terrible and i want to quit so bad i did good in high school which makes this even worse to me my parents dont know im doing this badive been so depressed the last year and i dont know how to change my mistakes i just feel super alone and lost,3.0
34000,rt hatttiegladwell please dont say you have ocd because you like your flat clean have bipolar because you had a mood swing  have,0.0
34001,should look for more jobs at adidasnot feeling good about puma ,2.0
34002,sutch a beautiful morning and my mamas bday and mothers day ,0.0
34003,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
34004,httpzerkaa wtf thats actually horrible that makes me so sad ,2.0
34005,jansimpson i am excited  as always,0.0
34006, i hope u can go bitch  vegas will not b da same without my cousin ,2.0
34007,is watching kayne west with an orchestra on channel two i advise everyone in adelaide too do the same skinny by thirtieth ,2.0
34008,cecilhamilton  thumbs up for depeche mode they rock ,0.0
34009,tomra im just about to start my maths now ,0.0
34010,i dropped my popsicle on the floor  fml,2.0
34011,gym time  im very excited for my first yoga class ,0.0
34012,its a boy     ounces  plenty of hair and cute    kathryn did great and is recovering  now we just need the name,0.0
34013,its monday my body feels its on vacation  emails overflow there is lots of work and i lost my glasses its going to be a long day ,2.0
34014,memelaroo she made one for olive ,0.0
34015,jadeyyg  haa im so exciteddd woooo,2.0
34016,aimeech i stopped it in year  and then started my gcse in year  and got an a so i thought id take it for as lol one year   xxxx,2.0
34017,why does mitchelmusso never reply to mee  he must really hate me l,2.0
34018,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
34019,jonasbrothers please come to germany ♥ please please please love your new single ladies video ,0.0
34020,im stressed and i dont even know why im stressed and the heat is making my stress more stressed and i cant sleep ,1.0
34021,my life is great but i still feel like shit i have friends i enjoy my studies im surrounded by support why do i still constantly think about ending it all,3.0
34022,urbanmorgan aww u get to go  i wish i could go but im not gona be able too,2.0
34023,khrystyne yay for you sis im stuck in traffic on my way home ugh ,2.0
34024,i wanna sleep but i cant ,2.0
34025,just enjoying a glass of pinot noir chilling after a long day ,0.0
34026,how do i focus at home i high key can not focus at home  omg ive had an assignment to do for like a week now which is due april  wednesday coming and every time i turn on the laptop to do it i just end up going on my phone or watching series xx shit its so fucking harddddddddd and next week im suppose to have my online classes due to this covid bs fuckkk,3.0
34027,im tired of people pretending to care why do people say that i can talk to them and that theyre are here for me ignore me as soon as i reach out im tired of fake nice,3.0
34028,tips to stop invasive suicidal thoughts having a rough day and out of nowhere my brain is telling me how i could do it based on what im currently doing and what im supposed to do with the rest of my day im trying to not think about it at all trying to stay busy but it keeps forcing itself into thought any tips to make it stop would be helpful side note i have no one i can go to about this without them making me feel worse about myself,3.0
34029,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
34030,hantastik scare it where it might fly at me or something  do they jump,2.0
34031,crap theres a hipster judge on the plane and im not being cool ,2.0
34032,i am very confused on life i dont know if this is the right place to post this sorry if its not this will be a long post thoughi am a  year old male in my  grade i have been depressed since middle school half way through  grade it was not a strong depression at first though just a plain feeling of sadness and confusion but from there on out it started getting worse and worse increasing a bit each and every day also with a uncontrollable urge to kill myself increasing stronger and stronger every day as welli sort of have a reason for it but at the same time i dont but the reason i come up with when im feeling sad is why just why is life so sad i have gotten my first girlfriend for the first time in my life on february  valentines day she changed my life in a way i would have never even thought possible having someone who loves you is the greatest feeling i have ever felt and is the reason im still alive is because of her but that is also where a problem comes in when i got with her she made me develop the fear of death im worrying about her almost every single second of my life if i ever heard that she died id kill myself thats how close i am too her i cant live in this world without her i just couldnt handle it images of her dying keep popping in my head or possible ways she could be kidnapped and raped when away from me im scared to death i feel like i have a serious paranoia please tell me if you can decipher a mental condition from what im explaining because i have no cluei dont understand life why is there death i hate living in a world of evil and death i am so scared i just want to slump into a pile and die and hope my girlfriend would find someone who could be the boyfriend im not a weak coward i have a weak mental state i feel like i would be better if the world was purged of murders rapists etc i just cant comprehend the world as it is now and i just want my loved ones to be safe and happy thats all i care about and its all i want but i just dont know if thats too much too ask for i keep crying almost every day being afraid if my girlfriend will still be alive the next day,3.0
34033,rt awonderdj anxiety is a helluva drug,2.0
34034,ddlovato my too ,2.0
34035,and still anxiety toothless silent,0.0
34036,lilyscandalous well if i had have known i would have shared ,0.0
34037,is thinking bout going for a bubblebath haha yep decided ,0.0
34038,evilbeet ughhh they arnt that great sorry i let you down  no hef no bitchy twins hardly none of me i was preoccupied wfriends sorry,2.0
34039,aintnuthinneo hey mo ,0.0
34040,rt plynteria adachi i became a cop just so i could legally carry a gun and kill peoplena fans oh fuck yum i love the edgeakechi i,1.0
34041,mamirosa i wish i knew  im dieting amp cant try them otherwise i would be grubbing mampms are my fav candy ,2.0
34042,catrevel o nooo  i realllllllly hope youre allowed out tonight,2.0
34043,configuring things ,2.0
34044,going home ,0.0
34045,im dreading becoming an adult but i dont want to stay a kid either i turn  next month and in  months i graduate high school i dont know if i can be happy as an adult if i was depressed all throughout my childhood they say college is supposed to be a better time socially and in general but im going to community college and i heard its difficult to make friends therei dont know if ill ever be able to become responsible enough to be an adult i have been in and out of mental hospitals all throughout high school i missed out and avoided things so much not driving never had a job i have had a relationship but the guy was immature being an adult just sounds like it makes things worse taxes bills low wages rising rent pricesi live in a high cost of living area too  a hyper competitive job market jury duty insurance healthcare costsim in the us rip me gas money i could go on current events arent helping either but at least ill be excluded from the draft because im mentally illi have no idea what to do after high school i have a strong support system my parents will let me stay with them as long as i need and ill be under their insurance until im  things are still difficult even with all this any advice on how to make the most out of my privilegei was thinking of getting into digital marketing or it or a medical laboratory program they all seem difficult though and its like every career path requires dedication i know not the place for career advice but does anyone have experience working in those fields with depression i feel like depression disqualifies me from so many career paths like i cant join the military which wouldve been a good option but maybe its for the bestany advice insights or encouragement would be nice thanks if you read it all,3.0
34046,kisses kisses plz to be sending good thoughts my way good things may happen today ,0.0
34047,dear sleep i am sorry for waiting for my brother to come home onli becuz its mothers day ,2.0
34048,nouveaubeats like this shit xoxo ,0.0
34049,can i live the life i want can i live off the grid with minimal to no work no taxes on my own land and grow my own food travel as a age practicing martial arts it sounds crazy but its the life i want is it even possible,3.0
34050,please help feeling very lost right now for most of my childhood i had been dealing with a constant issue of mental abuse nothing i ever did was enough and only my flaws and mistakes mattered not any achievements i do believe that this is one of the main factors that comes into play when talking about the person i am today for the past few years i have been finding it terribly hard to even think positively im always so negative especially when it comes to talking to other people about my problems i always think of the worst case scenarios and believe them to be true that alone already results in doubting many people and ruining friendships because of the negativity with all the trust issues ive developed i really can only talk to a few people about any problems but more often then not these people will constantly try to say just think positively and i always just blur them out or ignore them and get angry i also really only focus on any flaws or mistakes whether it be of myself or of my peers from there i end up not only criticizing myself but all my friends too i find that to be a very toxic trait but i just cant seem to understand how to fix thatthis is my first time posting something and this was because i didnt know were else to go im a grade  student and i really do just need help knowing what steps to follow to become a more positive person if i need to expand on anything just ask,3.0
34051,devkss have a great time ,0.0
34052,i am still fighting verizon high speed internet with intermittent connectivity i will be surprised if this even gets posted to twitter ,2.0
34053,why do i feel so anxious i have no specific problems in my life right now yet i feel so anxious how can i stop this aching feeling i have in my chest its driving me crazy,3.0
34054,not feeling so hot after getting shot for chickenpox today ,2.0
34055,just stoped to eat at long jon silver yummy ,0.0
34056,new blog post two very important people  ,0.0
34057,nahrain yeah the torturer lynndee england shes another sick puppy ,2.0
34058,rt drgarekar suicide shows frustration of youthcastereservations have taken their toll on psyche of unreserved caste ,2.0
34059,how to share voice notes via twitter facebook and blogs httptrimmlne hit me back with a phonevite message ,0.0
34060,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
34061,have you ever watched your world from outside have you ever watched your world from outside walked among people in a crowded city street and thought youre not living in the same world as they are wondering where the hell the door that let them in issecretly hoping maybe its because youre special unique and thats why dont fit in but knowing at the same time its just a little hopeful lie you tell yourself to just keep goingjust thatheres me hoping maybe im actually not living alone in herecause it can get so damn dark i want to let the light shine but i dont know how,3.0
34062,lemondrop me too   played outside all weekend with our little guy,0.0
34063,should i take them my doctor gave me sertraline and said it take it for the month after reading up on it a little i dont know if i should take it ,3.0
34064,deproloft has anyone tried it i tried  for a couple weeks and it seemed to work a little but even on a very low dose i was still getting jittery,3.0
34065,tnaw feeling sorry for mark  prayers for you,2.0
34066,xmiyix hi thanks for following ,0.0
34067,i burned the top of my mouth ouchies ,2.0
34068,cherfagan  yes they did aww i want a balloon too haha,0.0
34069,slhammer sorry i missed u on capitol day i spent that day walking to and from the house and senate i must have walked by u  times ,2.0
34070,sorry baby my mom said no ,2.0
34071,kfippin hes at the age where you are basically on suicide watch 👀,2.0
34072,ogochocinco these  days are taking over your life  you aint said wuddup in  days  lol,2.0
34073,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
34074,feeling worthless i have applied to at least  jobs so far and have yet to recieve an interview i was an a student at university and graduated with a gpa of  last yearim always sad and i feel so alone and hopeless my parents are amazing and they dont deserve a failure like me i feel like all my harwork at university has gone down the drain,3.0
34075,i dont want to die but i dont want to be alive im  and ive had depression and anxiety for a couple years but lately its gotten so much worse im so angry all the time i see red i want to scream i just get so unreasonably angry that nothing seems worth it but the anger is accompanied by such sorrow and self hatred that i dont see the point in existing anymore my dream for so long was to be on broadway or just be in acting but im in the school production this year and i want to drop out so badly because i have no passion i have a girlfriend who i adore greatly but i dont have the energy to talk to her or to be around her i want to break up with her but when i think of a reason my mind is blank i dont like anyone else and im happy in our relationship but i guess deep down i dont think i deserve her ive pushed my family away due to my anger and though they still try to be there for me i know its hard i feel like such a burden to everyone i love that i just dont want to be alive im not suicidal i know that itd hurt my family too much if i killed myself but they barely see me anymore i sleep all the time and not because im tired i could get  hours of sleep during the night and still take   hour naps during the day and then still pass out for the night at  when im asleep its like i dont exist anymore no worries about if my homeworks done if the kitchens clean if my room isnt messy im finally at peace with my mind but when im awake the anxieties come back the voices come back the feeling of nothingness comes back ive been suicidal and im not suicidal now because i know i couldnt do it i just wanna escape for a couple weeks just to reset maybe chuck my phone off a bridge and go on holiday to the snow when i dont have to worry if i look fat because im wearing so many layers but even then i know itd be too hard what should i do does anyone else feel like this and i know this is long and poorly written im on mobile and wrote the first half after a night of no sleep and the second after ,3.0
34076, hey tweetie via  ltlthey sweetheart babydoll how r u ,0.0
34077,so quiet around here without   makes me sad ,2.0
34078, niceeeeeee omg im so caught up in studying i forgot to watch  darn it,2.0
34079,moonflowerchild nicks diirrrdy my bum hurts ,2.0
34080,good days always turn into terrible days always like when youre having a good day and everythings going well and suddenly theres that one moment when everything crashes all at once and you cant even figure out how you managed to fuck everything up that quickly like suddenly the whole world turns against you and makes you regret every little thing you say or do even though youre not sayingdoing anything wrong and it just makes you want to lock yourself in your room and never come out,3.0
34081,ugh cant sleepso worried i really gotta find a job cos i sooo dont wanna have to sign on the dole  sigh,2.0
34082,have fun for me pleaseworking ,2.0
34083,onewaytruthlife thank you for your great love for us and our misled ways ,0.0
34084,think im going to have to get my hair cropped ive been growing it since  and its going to be a real wrench gutted ,2.0
34085,last beach bonfire for a loooong time ,2.0
34086,lonely hey everyone im feeling really lonely and sad today so if anyones up for a chat just let me know please,3.0
34087,graces migration to bbb delayed by singtel weekendonly promo ahhh ,2.0
34088,iys  i have no clue y im still up ,0.0
34089,northwestnick  wow thats really sad ,2.0
34090,buzzedition love it takes me back to the mayfair in newcastle years ago before it became a car park ,2.0
34091,nearly home timenot bed time though sadly ,2.0
34092, thanks for letting me off the hook ,0.0
34093,what else should i do why wont this stop when will this stop if it ever will i have been suffering from bipolar depression for almost a year and its been really tough i dont know what i should do to get myself unstuck of this i just dont know why i know im pretty girls tell me i am not to sound prideful or anything i know im smart not to sound prideful again people tell me im a nice person from the inside and the outside i have a lot of friends that i laugh with but at the end of the day i feel completely worthless without any goals or something that im aspiring to be i find myself in a huge void that wont let me out every time i find myself feeling bad i just wait for the night to sleep with hopes that the next day will be a great day but no probably when i read this tomorrow ill be like pffff how dumb am i i dont feel like this at all my routine is just wake up feel empty go to school which i like feel empty come back from school fell empty then sleep and all over again everyday with hopes that something will change but they dont  days ago it was my birthday and to be honest it was just a rollercoaster of emotions  from feeling energetic and happy to feel sad worthless and suicidalanother thing is that some  months ago i just wanted to stop feeling worthless and just stop this everlasting void inside me but nowadays i just want to kill myselfso the thing i want to know is why in hell am i still depressed considering that i already know that im pretty smart and maturewhy do i still feel this void inside me ,3.0
34094,im so jealous of the astronaunts right now i wish i was with ,2.0
34095,kboudit oh she will she said she has to be prepared for her concerts well good luck to you i hope you dont crack like the rest of us ,2.0
34096,rt goyylarrazabal so this appears to be the first case of a suicide bombing in the philippinesnever thought id see the day this would,2.0
34097,gallifreyreject fucken hell i love your twitter background mmm phoenix ,0.0
34098,i dont know if i have depression i feel alone all the fucking time i feel like people dont even now that i exist i feel like no one cares about my life anymore my friend dont talk to me anymore havent huged a girl in almost a year i feel like crying all the fucking day  havent got a text from anyone in months  i feel like shit all the time i hate being ugly i hate myself i dont know what should i do anymore i dont want to do shit with my life anymore i just need a fucking hug or a friend i have been holding this feeling for months havent talked to anyone about it people just dont give a fuck about how i feel,3.0
34099,listening to my heart will go on what have i become not liking these confused moments i keep having want them to fuck off soon ,2.0
34100,dread going to the dentist to get a cancer screen ,2.0
34101, i really love that picture  i kinda miss it,2.0
34102,gingerdan i think it looks alright should knock some cash off yrs tho ,2.0
34103,dannymcfly daaaanny i had the coolest present ever for you and i couldnt give it to you   youd come back to rio,2.0
34104,rt  psa has content that may not be okay for some to read includes suicide ,0.0
34105,was just about to do some work at the easel when i remembered my brother ordered cheese scones for tomorrow no drawing today then ,2.0
34106,oh right maths there goes my smile  aha,2.0
34107,puffmclover   but it doesnt make me want to read the other bks  but just my opinion ,0.0
34108,another windy day ,2.0
34109,as a black man i feel completely worthless im  things just suck its like the world just wants me to be a good for nothing nigga ,3.0
34110,i have no swine flu because of the temperature screening here i feel like a criminal with my cold ,0.0
34111,quotes to be mindful about below already listed ,0.0
34112,   wot hun   sore throat or mac ds hehehe   passes cheeseburger and fries  i can only swallow the milkshake      x x x,2.0
34113,mileyycyrus hey plz talk to me i really want to talk to you about something personal my number is     it would make me so ,0.0
34114,hebuken are your eyes open  triple double speaks for itself,0.0
34115,elanlohmann the temptation to retweet that slightly edited and out of context is going to get the better of me ,0.0
34116,djkayz awesomeness i will prepare the blunts ,0.0
34117,goood morning eating a fruitsallad and enjoying the summmmmmmer  ,0.0
34118,i have to go for now i�ll update later  love you all,2.0
34119,help my friend has depression how do i help her,3.0
34120,patrickharvie i did my bit  sorry it didnt have the desired effect patrick ,2.0
34121,ok my twitter account got reinstated i really hate being a spamworm victim like thisshould i be changing all my passwords now ,2.0
34122,jonathanab its cold dark and  at the office im outta here ,0.0
34123,nkotb we here in australia are not happy you guys have cancelled on us whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  dont do this to us  ,2.0
34124,check out jsmiths myspace wwwmyspacecomjsmith shes amazing ,0.0
34125, i want to c star trek  im doin the grammar journal ,2.0
34126,scientists assert that ultraheavy blankets actually reduce stress and anxiety  via futurism,2.0
34127,my heart hurts and i dont know how to fix it ive talked to so many people counsellors professionals and just cant seem to get the help i need i feel stuck alone hurt and i always have to pick up the pieces and mend myself and im just getting tired of it at this point,3.0
34128,i hit a dead end today im not even sure what to say really just rambling to get my mind off things i guess ive been without a drive for close to  years a few months ago it seemed like life would finally start to turn for the better i fell in love and absolutely crushed on a girl she was my everything my reason to get out of bed in the morning  and she broke up with me an hour ago because she didnt want to make me miserableim well on my way to fix my life and everything seemed to be going smoothly but right now im suddenly stuck without a motivation again im not even sure if i want to scream or cry or anything else really i still want to fix my life but its daunting right now im just empty with no idea where to go from hereim aware this reads like a page out of a teenie drama but i didnt really know where to go except for here im just glad somebody will read this and maybe sympathisethank you guys keep being awesome,3.0
34129, that sucks  hope you get it back soon ,2.0
34130,rt mightybusterbro   sonyacsa sad flotus trump has you so outclassedas a democrat running for congres,1.0
34131,at reggies rock club waiting for adams last dance to come on  not sure who else is on the bill,0.0
34132,is off work sick but had a facebook message this morning and is a lot happier now ,0.0
34133, and im  u on tv  am following dynamomagician he is awesome  x,2.0
34134,drudgereport slone shes morally bankrupt i actually think she suffers from a mental health issue that doesnt a ,1.0
34135,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
34136,watching a movie whilst eating dinner celebrating our good marks  we enjoy spending some extra time with the children,0.0
34137,rt tinaapia sobrang sarap sa feeling when youre the goto person it doesnt matter if they only go to you when theyre sad or happy th,1.0
34138,brucetonkin thats one way of wording it ,0.0
34139,its so hot today heard theres supposed to be storms  i hope not,2.0
34140,it appears my good packing job was mostly for the stuff in storage  i dont know where anything that came home with me is  ,2.0
34141,the girls of the gilmore type have let me down ,2.0
34142,i very very very strongly dislike perez hilton i just dont get how he can get away with being so horrible ,2.0
34143,stewartkris kristen please follow me  i really really want to communicate with you pls pls pls im begging i love you  ,2.0
34144,just woke updarn tiredparty hard last night  still has to study for my exams,2.0
34145,rt sugaryoblivion loud noises crowded places driving in peaktime traffic feeling unsafe someone yelling my name in public httpst,2.0
34146,i usually like watching the rose parade but not this year jan  is my hubbys irl cake day and he likes to watch the rose parade all the flowers the seeds vintage cars and artwork the creativity is amazing it usually makes me smile oooo and aaahtoday i would rather put a few bullets through my tv the parade is annoying and purposeless just like me,3.0
34147,trying to find something formal to wear in a casual closet jeans and popculture shirt will do good enough ,0.0
34148,im so knackered maaaaannnn jesus cant believe im working later  the soup my sister made smells amazing,2.0
34149,had fun in nola single guy asked for love advice from us married ladies  and i got a compliment on my green eyes    nighto,0.0
34150, yay welcome back heheh i fell asleep today took a  hour nap that never happens so i dunno whats up with that no kenny ,2.0
34151, club o with johnny and his dad and i have to be at school by  in the morning guess im not getting any sleep tonight ,0.0
34152,paulkerton it bled so much more and then three others shattered all over me  i wish that we used plastic cups,2.0
34153,rt  me pretending that my depression doesnt effect my daily life httpstcoousbvbxnso,2.0
34154,dropped my lady at the airport this morning   weeks will take ages,2.0
34155,aplusk watch european soccer then much better and lets say that u are with sweden now when they play on tuesday hehe ,0.0
34156,hiowen very cool website love the timelaps stuff have a good trip ,0.0
34157,tommcfly i hope the mcfly in belo horizontemgbrazil next year our next month ,2.0
34158,can anyone who has been treated for being suicidal please help me i just admitted to my mom that i tried to commit suicide last night but i couldnt go through with it shes been supportive and shes taking me to the er tomorrow to get help and keeping an eye on me for right now which i dont mind i want to get help but im a bit scared of whats ahead does anybody know what will happen when i get to the hospital,3.0
34159,a few months ago i had a serious conversation with a friend about my depression and they said something which stuck with me  ive struggled with depression nearly my entire life but a few months ago i was truly in a pit of black despair i felt unwanted unloved useless and like life was nothing but trying to forget for a few minutes how much i hated being alive i would wake up in the morning wishing i couldve just slept forever and the reoccurring thoughts about death wouldnt go away i had two roomates in a small room army barracks life and every weekend them and another friend would drink and id join in always feeling like i was an outsider that i just happened to be spending time with them because theyd feel bad about drinking right in front of someone trying to sleep a few feet away on a few occasions id opened up a bit about my depression with my roommates and theyd offer words of encouragement and tell me i had worth but that feeling would always go away when i sobered  edit our last night drinking me and my roommate had a heart to heart wed been talking for about  minutes where he was telling me how proud of me he was all the moments id impressed him all the times hed seen me being compassionate and making other peoples lives better all the times we had together that hed never forget it was incredibly heartfelt it touched me but i knew id just convince myself he didnt really care as time passed and i told him so and he responded not with anger but hurt and compassion the following fuck you no really fuck you every one of these people here has taken an interest in your life weve spent months together getting to know about you theyve shown you so many times how much they care about you but youre saying that none of us care youre saying none of the things weve done together counts for anything fuck you fuck you for thinking all the things these people would and have done for you means nothing its fucking selfish and i know youre better than that because i know how good of a person you are it was one of the most rawly emotional moments of my life it hit me specifically because it wasnt the proper thing to say anybody could give empty platitudes someone showing me legitimate emotion at what i had to say and looked at me showing nothing but compassion was realer than anything else somebody else could have said this person who id spent months with had showed me how selfish it was for me to say that his friendship in the end meant nothing because i didnt feel it was genuine we spent another half hour having a heart to heart where he tried to impart all the life advice he could before i left after that ive always looked into my life and see who has showed they cared about me and my life seemed to open up after that i see now how many people invested in my life without me noticing i have value to people and saying i have no value is insulting to the people who invested into my lifeedit minor grammatical error edit  i can see how some people might read this and see negativity but i dont think i framed it in the right light  not every piece of advice works for everybody but this was intensely personal for me which was why it stuck with me i figured id share it in case anybody else felt the same way and that it might strike them as well in the end we all have our personal demons and in that moment i was able to face mine head on and challenge it and it has changed my life ,3.0
34160,my anxiety needs to give me an ease up now btw😥,1.0
34161,rt charstarlene my heart goes out to those of us whose anxiety has gone from crippling to an accelerating vomitshitdeathlike ever since,1.0
34162,im losing it i feel very anxious right now i want to cry im stressed i am scared i dont know what to do,3.0
34163,camilleprats   omgssh  ang cute ng bby,0.0
34164,the sun is bright but i have to go college to even tho exams are done ,2.0
34165,reemski ah ok  it was too white in the pic i thought it was starch hee,0.0
34166,diversity is fucking amazing well done guys ,0.0
34167,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
34168,xxsierraxx i wish  any closer with saving for yours,2.0
34169,help me make light therapy better help me make a better light for light therapy fill out this quick  min survey ,3.0
34170,i have an exam tomorrow for my least favourite subject and i cant even bring myself to study ,2.0
34171,no shuttle launch  sad  ,2.0
34172,the anxiety survival guide how to conquer your worries ,1.0
34173,missdoherty no i am not ,2.0
34174,kezzien so happy for you for shoppingalthough i hate thatand for the great weatherheres rainin like hell  and its so cold ,2.0
34175, lol i know right what a pain this is ,2.0
34176,god is about to fix what people broke god will give you your peace back your happiness back and remove your depr ,0.0
34177,now fb is no longer a twitter replica case closed ,0.0
34178,meaganshea yeah that whole neo swing thing sort of had me going for a while luckily i didnt go too far with that ,0.0
34179,just watched star trekim speechless i loved it abrams is brilliant n created cinematic intergalatic art ,0.0
34180,rahmadualeh now i am sad again dont leave baybay ,2.0
34181,creepersin see you tommorow ,0.0
34182, i cant wait for gi joe it looks great ,0.0
34183,retweeting fluffymuppet btw its wind week  httpwwwembracewindcom,0.0
34184,just got kicked out of my house so tile can be finished  cant wait for life to be back to normal ,2.0
34185,feels  the night has been too lonely   and the road too long   ,0.0
34186,are you ever just too lazy to get up and change the station i have no idea what i am watchingone of those stupid dance movies ,2.0
34187,oh and one last thought the thing i did stress is the importance of observation learning how to perceive the worl ,1.0
34188,this is a constant thread in my life ,2.0
34189,anyone else feel like theyre not depressed enough ive been diagnosed with major depression but sometimes im not actively consumed by it i could be out reading a book at a coffee shop and feel fine  not good really but just okay im unemployed right now and currently have no stressors in my life nor do i interact with people much which might be whythen i usually feel like i need to make myself actively depressed this shit is so weird man ,3.0
34190,justinchon hi justin  you come in london in july  greaaat   i hope you come with andy  haha,0.0
34191,davidsillen  sooooooothing,0.0
34192,i use the word quotawesomequot waaaay too much haha ,0.0
34193,delphinum there are no wilkos here ,2.0
34194, yeah the water sucks i need sum polind spring in my life lol its hot as hell to hot to tan so im stuck washing clothes ,2.0
34195,authorsaoirser drivein srsly jealous  i have never ever been to one  there is one down the rd but its no longer operational ,2.0
34196,mannibaby hey  whats up this song  ,0.0
34197,therealestate marco if listening to the needs and desires of the customer r your basics then no wonder ur the top realtor in az ,0.0
34198,mercedeslv omg that just breaks my heart ,2.0
34199,rickeysmiley lay off gary ,0.0
34200,rt tommyperabo aveirjapan so sad let them free leave them alone why in captivity  this is heartbreaking,1.0
34201,tonichavez when you find the name let me knowi forgot to look it up last night ,2.0
34202,where did the sun go ,2.0
34203,natalietran awesome jealousy i have to wait until tomorrow ,2.0
34204,just watched the naked kitchen very sweet ,0.0
34205,they are gonna be so shocked when they wake up im gonna tell them it was me who found him cuz i did  ravens gonna b soo happy,0.0
34206,great day of groundlings and downstairs guys shoot feeling good and tired the right kind of tired ,0.0
34207,ddlovato i love that song  xd cant wait for the video ,0.0
34208,tfastarscream ooc is startled by the ping signaling a new tweet xd yay im not alone in the twitterverse ,0.0
34209,shadyp damn i feel some kinda way about that my bad  hope you popped the f outta some models last nite,2.0
34210, hooray cant wait to hear all about the poop n stuff  goodness knows youve already heard about that from me ,0.0
34211,happy mothers dayyy  i need to go to best buy and get my computer fixed ,0.0
34212,waking up with rushing thoughts after switching meds brand hi alli recently switched brands of my meds from zoloft to lustral  no other change same dosage time of dayi now often wake up in the middle of the night with racing thoughts without fail this is about  hours before my normal wake up time the racing mind is kind of like having severe anxiety however without the urgency feeling it normally takes me an hour to get back to sleephas anyone experienced something similar do you have any advice on managing this,3.0
34213,awake at a horrible time of the morning again not going to feel good later today ,2.0
34214,this girls never heard of highlife  and guess where shes from,2.0
34215,the pain is keeping me awake ,2.0
34216,morning you lot ,0.0
34217,colorblindfish i dont know if i can wait till june   c what cool stuff ur talking about unless ud like  share wme now ,0.0
34218,kevinayp kevinayp ha is it long  well not bad i just have received my visa approval and i am preparing for going abroad,0.0
34219,nenny good luck i hope you never smoke another cig again ,0.0
34220,ashumittal selling your cam can never be a good idea ,2.0
34221,hmu if u have severe anxiety and depression and wanna suffer together i think itd be cooler to do this with another person,2.0
34222,tiffanystone damn gurl you are busy holla holla later ,0.0
34223,argh starting to think my  hour music show isnt up to much ,2.0
34224,dammiti didnt win free tix to warped ,2.0
34225,im really really bored ,2.0
34226,soooo dosent want to go to school tommorow ,2.0
34227,productivity i dont know how to make myself feel productive when im doing things ill clean go to classes do art go to work take care of myself and not feel productive at all and feel guilty about the time i couldve been doing something more productive i dont know what my mind classifies as productive but apparently im not doing it does anyone else struggle with these feelings and does anyone have any advice on how to convince myself that i am actually being productive ,3.0
34228, it worked ,0.0
34229,average right now im extremely depressed im unhappy with the way i look and i have absolutely no energy to di anything i just found out my sister got into grad school why cant i be happy for her i mean i am buti just withdrew from my classes for this term  days ago i couldnt handle the deadlines and the bullshit when i couldnt even get out of bed my anxiety does cartwheels as i try to sleep which i dont i know this will eventually pass but im really suffering im also having extreme heart palpitations which the doctors have said are benign since my heart is healthy and i cut out my caffeine because of it im a coffee drinker and now im in this rut of not sleeping and not being able to have coffee to wake upim average at best i feel like im here to do something important or be someone great but it just doesnt seem like it will happen im happily married but outside of that what am i who am i i feel like i dont have a purpose i wasnt born with some amazing talent and i have many interests that im just average at i dont want to feel average i want to be better than average and i want successi know people hate the woe is me but honestlywhy me why us i envy anyone who doesnt struggle with a mental illness and my heart breaks for those who do because its hell we literally battle ourselves every damn day just to get out of bed and then we battle our day or people i just feel like somethings got to give im so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ,3.0
34230,kings of leon use somebody love it  ,0.0
34231,things wanted in spotify nested playlists equaliser kthxbai  via shepherdnick equalizer definately please,0.0
34232,laurenculver i cant i had my laptop confiscated ,2.0
34233,vavroom bugger im sooo over this im having huge issues with it  think i will move to new providor,2.0
34234,i have depressions since  years and it wont go i just want to die no one really wants to understand that i have depressions not even my motheri never really told anyone that i have depressions i once tried to tell it a good friend and she just said she thinks its about cutting and killing yourselfno one takes my problems seriousive been to a clinic once it helped but after a small mistake it came back againive tried to kill myself  timesthe last time i begged my doctor to send my to a clinic again but they just dont want tothe reason i talked with them to much i just answered them the questions they wanted to knowi am currently  years old and needed to cancel school for  months because i couldnt do anything and my depression is getting worse everydayi feel like no one want to help me and they dont take this serious i have literally no future because my depression keeps getting in my way no matter what i try to domy friends arent even real friends and they ignore me because of my depressions i also have nightmares everyday i think its because of them because i dont watch any horror movies or idk which stuff that could give you nightmares and its driving me crazy those dreams are so crazy i just dont want to sleep anymorei always think about just ending it because at the end no one would even care about it,3.0
34235,jonasbrothers that fine its a great dayya the friends be something important in the life ,0.0
34236,nicolelmcc tell me how it is im stuck in home staging landblaaaah ,2.0
34237,nerdboytv that sounds about right but the food does sound good ,0.0
34238,affab dinossavs eu to numa fase complicada para acertar coisasdepression mas prfv segura na minha mão pq dá certo,1.0
34239,showering less now than when in the deepest depths of my worst depressive episodes when its bad i cant take a shower because im exhausted and cant get out of bed eat or even thinknow im on a good cocktail of meds im active hydrated sleeping eating regularly but i cannot bring myself to bathe or really do anything to care for my appearance after a recent panic attack ive come to accept its because of the hate i carry for my body or my appearance because i hate myself to such an extreme any activity that forces me to confront myself is too much to bearthe issues then spins further out of control i hate myself even more for not bathing for not styling my hair taking time to apply my makeup or for not thoughtfully picking an outfit for workive tried thought records journaling dbt skills and affirmations nothing has really helped to ease this absolute disgust i have with myself at my last appointment my therapist thought i was too future oriented and some mindfulness might help is my preoccupation with wanting to change the parts of my appearance that i dislike going to ruin me how does one find a happy medium how do i begin to love myself again but first how the fuck do i make sure to bathe more than once or twice a week thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts ,3.0
34240,adrunkreaper as long as i have enought for the new iphone im set i wanna buy a new mac however ,2.0
34241,ejrinder haha i decided to just embrace it sing along like a moron ,0.0
34242,morning at home and still having painful tummy pains  major painful since last nights practice ,2.0
34243,avarosexxx   please share some  i was there  hours ago,0.0
34244,what are your experiences with ssris snris maois have they helped you even if just in the slightest my personal experience so far is theyve just kinda nullified my personality also what has been the most effective drug for you whether they were prescribed or not  ,3.0
34245,you guys i totally bought these awesome flared jeans ahhhh for like seven dollars and they were mismarked and turned out too small ,2.0
34246,my july trip hangs in the balance wrestling with mum over whether to cancel so far im still winning ,0.0
34247,rt aliiensexist it disgusts me that the instant i hear the word depression i think of the dsmprescribed disorder rather than it being,2.0
34248,uk u like it like that when i do like this ,0.0
34249,rt  im just sad thats all,1.0
34250, ah frying premade tofu sounds a little more realistic ,0.0
34251,ericks drunk in ca and im sober in wa just ended our goodnight call ,0.0
34252, women im temp liven with is having sundownersnot fun ,2.0
34253,hollycameron ahhh hol im so glad theyre going well  oxox,0.0
34254,musclenerd please just get us jb for windows  untweaked whatever,2.0
34255,im up now abd wathching primevil as seen as i couldnt watch it last night ,2.0
34256,fridley i still havnt fixd that ff glitch duplic u sent me a while back lol ill figure out ff one of these days ,0.0
34257,will i ever find somebody as good as her so basically ive been dating this girl for almost  years now it was my first relationship in over  years and to say the least it was a pretty good one other than having our ups and downs and arguments she was always there for me she didnt leave when i told her i had no money in my bank account she actually tried wiring me money but i didnt accept the transfers this had happened multiple times the only times i was truly happy was when i was with her we were together almost every day for the past  years cuddling together making love together hugging each other but the past few months have been hard weve been arguing a lot almost every other day and weve blocked each other now countless times i think she got fed up with me because last week she blocked me on everything and just ghosted me ive tried making new numbers to text her and i get no response it kills me to know what shes doing if shes with somebody else if theyre making love together she was my real first love and i think ill never be able to get over her im so fucking sad,3.0
34258,watching the mtv movie awards online that i missed last night and doing pyschology outlines  cant wait for my test to be over with wed,2.0
34259,rt  suicide is preventable but not selfish suicide is normally death caused by the illness of depression it is the final sy,2.0
34260,i cant believe its sunday ugh weekends go by way too fast but the good thing is only  weeks of schools and only  full days left ,0.0
34261,seriouslycan you please spit your gum in the trashcan  this time i stepped in gum on the train and it is stuck to my high heel ,2.0
34262,honey is distraught amp refusing to speak to me becos i murdered a blackbird with the car on the way home from school ,2.0
34263,axesandallies i like him hes artsy amp into design which is cool but mainly bc adam loves him and that makes me happy ,0.0
34264,msavadior i just rented season four  i cant wait to see what happens,0.0
34265,wait what hannibal lecter was zorro the world is screwed oh yeah angels amp demons was cool kinda no yoga master though ,2.0
34266,abilify experiences hey just started taking them tonight can anyone share some experiences i dont even want to read side effects tbh lol i use to take brentellix aka vortioxetine as an antidepressant ive lost about  will i gain them back i lost that much weight because i hiked a lot and vortioxetine caused made me to lose weight ive read pretty much that abilify it makes you gain weight thats the only thing i fear,3.0
34267,another followfriday for xxkonstantine now that she knows what it is ,0.0
34268,this weekend flew by back to work again tomorrow ,2.0
34269,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
34270,i turned  yesterday i have the flu and spent the past  days with a fever and not able to get out of bedi dont want to live to my  thinking back over the past year ive not even had  whole good day even if you add up the bits of time ive felt just ok it wouldnt make a whole daynot one person called on my birthday i have no friends my dad is dead and the rest of my family dont speak to mei dont why im writing this post every time i try and ask for help or talk to someone ot reach out it just makes things a million times worse ,3.0
34271,alexthestrange i have no idea ,2.0
34272,misfitbrooks brother lol u dnt fuxkz wit me no more ,2.0
34273,smackpi youre gonna use a lot of trees if you keep blowing your nose get better  but poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke ,0.0
34274,cooking supper for the kids ,0.0
34275,itsjustgoldie odubb i have never watched nick as a child ,2.0
34276, playing guitar ,0.0
34277,is missing out on the sunshine and trying to stay awake after having just  hours sleep ,2.0
34278,timwiseman not the one i was waiting for  doing a big musicwine tasting this weekend so a few corks will get popped,0.0
34279, how fun pick me some strawberries ,0.0
34280,me asf 😭 ,1.0
34281,i am sooooo boreeedd ,2.0
34282,is bored tired and lonely in his motelroom i wanna go home to alex ,2.0
34283, hiya hows u ,0.0
34284,iamzoraida but my azz is flippin hungry i aint got ish  eat  worms tearing up my insides on a rampage wanting food smh,2.0
34285,what can i do for my long depressed girlfriend i just really dont know who i could talk to right nowwe met in high school and how i met her was that she was a very jolly person which turns out as one of the key factors to why i loved her but as we got to know each other a little more each year im starting to see how depressed she is she has issues with her parents feeling like they are ignoring her at home so home for her doesnt feel like home at all then when she got older cases of sexual assault towards her raised especially if she walks home and she couldnt handle the fact of the passing of a dear loved one and because of that she told me that it was the moment when she started to hear voices in her head all of her different personalities battling each other everydaythen one time we ended the school year good she was happy that time but when the days of summer lengthened her depressive state somehow increases i wanted to meet up with her to comfort her face to face but her parents are very strict when it comes to that then one day out of the blue she just deactivated her account and cut almost everyone from her life it was difficult for one of us to reach her school hadnt started until  months later and in that period of time i never had the chance to reach her which honestly have hurt me deeplybut then school now came i didnt know if she would be there or if she transferred school but yeah i found her but she never noticed and talked to anyone for  whole weeks unless needed i then composed a letter to contact her and maybe it would make her talk to us again and she did she talked to her friends first before me she talked to me last her boyfriend and one thing lead to another we spent the whole college year happy up until the unexpected end of the school year during that time i got to know her more and specifically her depressive side it hurt me the first time i heard that she wanted to kill herself i constantly gave her all the love and care that i could ever give i gave all my efforts to love her with nothing but my whole heart i thought to myself that if i loved her enough it would lessen her depression but no that didnt work of course but she does say that i have been a huge help for her there are times again and again that she repeated the phrase of wanting to kill herself it has not been the first i heard it but it still gives me the same amount of anxiety like the first time i heard itright now shes feeling really sad about me she had a bad dream where she would leave me again like how she did last summer she believes and trusts me she says but about her she doesnt trust herself according to her shes afraid that she might do something as unexpected like that and it would really hurt me but i felt telling her that we could get through with it and that its a very big mountain to climb and that ill climb with her until we reach the peakshe keeps telling me how she cant believe why im still even here for her she keeps bringing up that she might be the root of all my problems in the future and now but i tell her that problems are inevitable really and what matters is that we would try our best to deal with it and prosperi really am trying my best to keep a very strong image for her i dont want her to know that im crying on the other end of the line for i too am afraid that her actions really are that unexpected right now to keep my sanity i constantly remind myself that maybe if we start a family one day things would be better she too wants to plan a family with me we even named our two future kids now i really hope to reach this one day for me i see this as a very big mountain to climb right now and that we would one day reach the peak together these that were experiencing right now i think of them as boulders that fall down from the peak of the mountain we might get hit and fall down back to square one but we would still try our best to get back up and climb again i honestly am scared a little bit about the future i just told her that im not pressuring her if she wants to go and that i would continually love her and i really would but it scares me ive seen a post where a mother and father themselves are still depressed im aware of this fact but i never really took the time yet to take it in and now that i read another post consisting of all of what i fear for someday a failing marriage despite the length of their relationship and a depressed mother in spite of having a good husband and angels of their owni am afraid that her depression wont go despite of having me and our children one day again i know that its a possibility but im really adjusting to how scary that is for me it really makes me sad that shes sad i have read a lot of articles on how to therapeutically talk to her but i really am still a beginner at this im not at all depressed and its my first time having a depressed girlfriend or a girlfriend at all and its my first time having to dwell deep into the mind of a depressed personreally i just want whats best for her even if i have to give my life to her i would do but she dont want me to be too exhausted or to do such a big sacrifice we still continually talk about having kids one day and we love each other very much i just really need some perspective about my situation i dont want to leave her and how do i help her as a boyfriend and hopefully a future husband shes really already giving me warnings that she may be a root of my problems in the future and shes really unsure of what she might do in the future she might leave me again she says but i just told her that id continually love her still and for as long as i still have her by my side right now and that one day we would overcome thisim starting to accept that she may still be depressed even when we have a good life and  kids and how can we deal with that i really want to do everything that i can for us i know that its difficult to overcome depression what can i tell her when i do are the things that i have done okay for a depressed person i know i made a mistake somewhere i really am just needing of another perspective and right now shes sad if i open up to her about this she may get sadder so another time perhapsthank you for anyone who reads this post i really just need to vent out i appreciate it,3.0
34286,i called a suicide hotline today because i was scared i was going to crash on my car on the way home i feel consumed by loneliness and isolation and today after work i just broke down and sat in my car for an hour before i called the hotline now i just feel empty and weird and tired i still wish i was dead,3.0
34287,isaw the comment you left on my myspace that was so nice love the quote ,0.0
34288,fuck me were actually in town feel sick as a dog ,2.0
34289,darrynlyonsmrp its a tough life you lead ,0.0
34290,pedi amp mani with jen  life is peachy  ,0.0
34291,going shopping ,0.0
34292,ticklemejoey wahh im sorry joe ,2.0
34293,fenaxioo itu ga direncanain lagi giant was never planned to appear  hayu yu,0.0
34294,yey got a game master name change from gm forecast to  sky in ragnarok online ,0.0
34295,this is stupid  i just want to cuddle ,2.0
34296,aww  thats not very nice for someone to say,2.0
34297,texting being tempermental erg louis if u see this shoot me a text cause i cant text ya trying to get ya all morning gt work soon ,2.0
34298,poor brian busby for kmbc  news in kc missouri hes gay as christmas    poor lil booger,2.0
34299, happy birthday ,0.0
34300,wishing i went to new york ,2.0
34301,i wanted to see a movie today   ,2.0
34302,please make sure to fill this out my friends its very important that you do or else ill get sad if you dont ,0.0
34303,good work on customer service cleartrip  httptrimoeqa  the kiruba incident ,0.0
34304,stress level highanxiety level highfeeling physically sick from nerves can i crawl into bed and cry now,2.0
34305,on the verge of giving up so ive been single for   years and ive been lonely finally decided to get back on the dating scene seriously after a few flings finally open up and bring my guard down and after a  date i get crushed i dont know what to do ive had enough of being lonely i dont know who to turn to i just feel like a burden and i just dont somone someone please help ive tried to stay strong for so long and i just dont know how long i can do itive always been the one to help friends when they are down i just cant keep up this fake confidence up im literally breaking down i have been for over a year and cant take it anymore,3.0
34306,i dont want my life anymore and i wish i could give it to someone who would do something with it i feel so guilty i dont want my life anymore the  years ive had to live already have left me so drained and unhappy i cant imagine living  more years of this on paper im doing everything right i work full time im in college my grades are decent im in a healthy supportive relationship i try my best to meet new people i have a pet i exercise i go to therapy i take my medication i spent  months as a teen in residential treatment for depression but i still feel every day like im dying im constantly exhausted i get this painful weight in my chest and i wish i could stop breathing i dont want my life anymore and there are so many people who had so much going for them that died in unfair ways cancer drunk driving accidents heart problems ect so many people who were doing so much with their lives who lost the chance to do more and yet i still have mine and i dont even want it its unfair to them i feel so guilty i feel like no one cares about me and maybe that is a narcissistic thought but i genuinely think the world would be fine if i wasnt a part of it any more i dont want to be a part of it anymore i so badly wish i could talk to someone about this but i really dont think anyone cares theyve all been hearing the same im depressed speech since i was  theyre bored out of their minds by it at this point my dad told me so this morning ,3.0
34307,lovin camp outs but not so much the morning after ,0.0
34308,macycan im not to happy about it ,2.0
34309,help early signs of depression i have a symptom last december i was taking a days off from work up to holiday off and i was spending it by sleeping in my room and basically just ate and watched the internet lost any motivation any passion lost my appetite in music makingit might be because i broke up with gf from  years relationship in late  now got over her but somehow it damaged my mental health and self esteem tried to get into relationship even now i have new gf that i wasnt really into the spark of romance just disappeared my band is hiatus due to all of the member are working outside country theres nothing we can do about it while actually were making a cult with a plenty of die hard fans and listener in local community sadly this band is my only passion in life tried going solo but somehow didnt received as good attention as the band have a shitty paying job not even bonus in the end of the year tried applied for new one but just not yet hear any good news watching my friends got a new job in say it like google or other big company very envy about it watching my friends one by one got married i cannot do that because i cant find the gf i actually love or the job that pay enough marriage in indonesia requires a partner you want and lots of moneyhelp me any advice kind words anything would be appreciated,3.0
34310,noliberals never saw the tantrum i know she was totally hounded by the media imagine being called ugly by everybody all the time ,2.0
34311,i love that  gaba jelly ,0.0
34312,anyone see a black hoodie on the sidewalk or street its mine id like it back please ,2.0
34313,just go to work its four words its a small sentence seemingly simple task and yet it hit like a ton of bricks i am not okay i said flat out that i needed a break for my mental health and here we are i just needed support to be home i know we need the money i know i need the hours but fuck me if im not drowning inside my own head goddamn it going to work is easy for you youve called in less than a handful of times the entire time youve had a job i get it i suck as an employee my brain just isnt the same okay fuck man  i already felt like my brain was depression soup now i feel like a huge fucking failure as if i wasnt struggling enough,3.0
34314,why am i crying in my offices bathroom stall and refusing to get out i dont know whats happening to me i feel like shit ive been feeling like shit for years and it comes and goes and i put on a mask and pretend its okay and that people have it worse than me because well they do but im hurt and i dont know why ive locked up myself in my office bathroom and dont want to come out because i keep crying i have no reason to its a new job i started a few weeks ago the money is good im in a healthy relationship with my new wife but i just feel so fucking empty and hollow and sad i guess im just ranting i just needed to put this out there i cant tell my wife about this now because i know shes going through the same thing im sorry,3.0
34315,hotboybruce jus am ,2.0
34316,dont worry be miserable i keep thinking about my past and how crappy it was and my mom is constantly gaslighting  remember that time when we had that argument and you got mad at me no mom that was you just yelling because you were the  mad one i cant stand my boss she tells us to shut up but shes the one always talking loud i feel like im wasting my life i do have a wonderful son though he keeps me going,3.0
34317,shes smarter and classier shes perfect for him and im not ,0.0
34318,alicecullenrpg lol im still goin strong i guess your the lucky one ,0.0
34319,microgeist or by leaving letters out of the word quotbrevityquot ,0.0
34320,headache ,2.0
34321,homework so im sure youve all heard the phrase about homework halfofmyenergywastedonrandom knowledgein truth homework actually makes you less likely to do well in a subjecttest because at home you dont have the same motivation to study as you do at school even if like me you hardly have any motivation to do anything anywaythx for reading ,3.0
34322,as of today monday passports or enhanced drivers licenses are required to get back from canadacrap  no more toronto this summer ,2.0
34323,natashax no you are lol and i know me too ,2.0
34324,follow the  spread the word   via bouska,0.0
34325,why is star trek trending again  im psyched that it is but confused as to why ,0.0
34326, have just thrown up in alis stable am home now really not well no one here to look after me ,2.0
34327, for me it means the start of the work week  lol,2.0
34328,had a cry with my momma thelmarocks and stephanie ,2.0
34329,is therapy covered by the nhs in the uk i really need to get some professional help but im currently on a student budget how expensive can it get in london,3.0
34330,wahhh school  unbelieveably jealous of jasminebagci she went on holiday to turkey yesterday,2.0
34331,another day in paradise   working hard and loving my job,0.0
34332,mikasounds love the new vblog   makes me wanna see you so bad now  roll on june   must have patience  but its hard  ,2.0
34333,this isnt fair i hate this    d,2.0
34334,mssensible ha as if was up early with youngest as always ,2.0
34335,tomfelton aww the pic in of you and the girl in collectormania looks so adorable ,0.0
34336,getting pretty then going out with a few girls to get coffee ,0.0
34337,nhoustonreed whaaaaaaaat why people can be so mean  im addin robs new twitter too  ssssshit i hate this things they re so nice ,2.0
34338,g doing baby daddy stuff gosh i love ray and his super kewl audio blog ,0.0
34339,yall ever just minding your own business and your brain is like hey remember when you were gonna get married and ,0.0
34340,acryfromthesoul i know  as long as my memory is still intact ill be able to relive it though ,0.0
34341,   omg danny sent you a messagee you are soooo lucky  i can only imagine what your reaction was ,0.0
34342,free krispy kreme for national doughnut day ,0.0
34343,rt hefinr after  years of service to the nhs as a nurse midwife amp health visitor mrs r has today resigned  the frustration of seein,2.0
34344,watching fresh prince of bel air ,0.0
34345,do you know whats my best tactic my best tactic is to just go with the flow and you dont care ,0.0
34346,rt britkaaaa good news everyone barbie just solved depression ,0.0
34347, you are cars what can one say   are you ok,0.0
34348,im having a really good day i dont have anyone to share this with but i really needed to tell someone so im telling you my new medication has just started working so for the first time in a long time i feel good i feel happy every little thing is just making me smile today i feel so full of life again if i can get there so can you it gets better ❤️,3.0
34349,drayozonemag lol good morning  u  man i feel u i cant do power naps i jus dont get sleep lol went to bed at  and got up at  ,2.0
34350,awake and grateful ,0.0
34351,is disappointed no mothers came out on mothers day ,2.0
34352,text me baaaack  watches walk the line,2.0
34353,working to get woub ready for the weekend and then to bella vinos to buy wine for the wedding our time with michi comes to a close today ,2.0
34354,nothing feels good anymore♪ ,2.0
34355,graduation party today ,0.0
34356,  the band is love ,0.0
34357,im so mentally tired ive lost everything i have lost everything my friends my university my job all my money everything i was holding onto and its all my fault i have done this to myself because i am a worthless waste my social anxiety has absolutely ruined my life i have distanced myself from my friends i quit university because i became nauseated just being around people because of my anxiety so i attempted to start working and earning for myself i have been fired from  different jobs im absolutely incompentent even for a minimum wage job i tried starting an ecommerce with a friend whos experienced in this that also failed and i lost all my money i have  with me my mom works tiressly trying to sustain the house my dad is unable to work because of his sickness i try applying for jobs go to interviews and just end up being ignored everyone thinks im useless i tried therapy for  months until i ran out of money and that hasnt done a slight bit of help either i dont have any money for more therapy i have a loan to pay for my university and i dont know where i will get the money from if i never find a job and my social anxiety gets in the way all my friends are ahead of me and i dont even talk to them any longer everyone had so much hope for me all my relatives and friend they all just think of me in disappointment this is not what i wanted i want to earn enough money to at least make my mom and dad happy before they die and not disappoint them anymore im ugly and never had a girlfriend either im begging to god every night crying to please help me recover from this stage its been  years of just failures and rejection from everywhere i need help and guidance i cant kill myself because my mom and dad will be traumatized for life they always cared for me in every way and still do but the problem here is me ive lost all my motivation and self esteem i dont know what to do anymore ,3.0
34358,stfukaii it is amazing i love christian sirriano and santinorice is here ,0.0
34359,ill always remain faithful to hamish and andy even if they have been really mean to me in the past  cos its my job as a groupie ,0.0
34360,wilw spike channel right im watching it too so cool princess lei shoulda had better technology though dont u think  ,0.0
34361,i am not feeling well ,2.0
34362,i lost my job yesterday i was fired from my job i took too many days off because i was constantly sick or depressed waking up today felt surreal i couldnt believe that it was real i still cant really i guess im lucky since i have a support system to fall back on i live with my dad my life is just falling apart and i dont know what to do i cant bring myself to tell my dad about this because my greatest fear in life is disappointing people ironic really given my whole life is a disappointment,3.0
34363,changing flights from  to  was definitely a wise move ,0.0
34364,kamaiyah has been publicly battling depression for years amp no one is talking about it   ,1.0
34365,is what i would say if i didnt have anxiety over every single thing in my life ,2.0
34366,matthewlush meeee ,0.0
34367,axelsrose  im trying to fix myself really but i need to stop cutting myself,2.0
34368,ok i admit i cant drink ,2.0
34369,mekkeon nope my hair has never been changed natural color  ill keep it that way for as long as i can,0.0
34370,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
34371,ashleydannielle jdubsie thanks guys i appreciate the support ,2.0
34372,my cat popoki is sick took her to the vet tues night virus not doing well its distressing anitbiotics going back to vet today ,2.0
34373,dreams my dream was to always make a clothing brand etc and ive recently done that yet im still depressed nothing has changed i thought by chasing my dreams it would get better but i still die each night from being so alone and am depressed daily i dont know what to do at this point,3.0
34374,feeling really bad i cant help this crow i see with a broken wing ,2.0
34375,i hate my mom what should i do im  and im severely depressed nowbecause my retarded ass mom wants me to switch to a different school next year she just told me this today all because she doesnt like sitting in the car rider line so she picks me up  minutes after the bell rings and the teachers have gotten mad because shes been doing this for  months now idk why she doesnt wanna sit in the car rider line i have friends at my current school and once i lose all of them im not gonna have nobody because i will never ever see them again in life next year i have been crying for hours nowcutting myself with pieces of glass i will never ever see my best friends again and its because of her should i just kill myself,3.0
34376,danielapt i think i have to be able to solve that one but i dont think i can haha math sucks and i have a  for it ,2.0
34377,coulsonmacleod i was hoping some hot water would come thru i got warm  besides i wasnt counting lolol,2.0
34378,is there a stickam going on that isnt private im bored ,2.0
34379,rt samsora a new type of anxiety strikes me when im in public on twitter and i accidentally full screen a big tiddy goth waifu,1.0
34380,summer    seniors    everything is perfect,0.0
34381,i dont want the sun to go  rain on the way leaves me all weekend to tell you about wwwwebsitewstalyn,2.0
34382,rt kingimbo im a chill person with a lot of anxiety,2.0
34383,plasticmartyr a secret sure  the majority of my tvwatchings from disney channel and im  ,0.0
34384,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
34385, thanks pie ,0.0
34386,miley follow me please please i really want to talk with you but idk how  i wrote you  messages on myspace but you never answered ,2.0
34387,yeah quotwhat nowquot is not a great txt msg to get at  mb i liked u better when u drank mb u liked me better then  how sad ,2.0
34388, les  passed by an old man though  minor fail,2.0
34389,rt  chivalen still alivenyc acc  kill  y oldloved fam kidsdogscatsadconfusedn,1.0
34390,aathiramj adilsulthan creepy uncle is missing out on all of this action so sad,2.0
34391,sg hat ,0.0
34392,in my way to university  but i hate school ,2.0
34393,energizedmofo yeahlater im going out but not for gym unfortunately i get hurted on a leg ,2.0
34394,this the psychoanalysts n doctors of no jam general hospital are gonna start making mla format essays with a word ,2.0
34395,rt septicnjh heres the suicide hotlines for your area please dont be afraid to call it your life matters ,1.0
34396,is work ,2.0
34397,wish snl was on aus tv ,2.0
34398,the anxiety over a game is finally back im nervous about the nba finals,1.0
34399,man u lost the fa cup semifinals to everton  on pens unlucky might turn out that man us pens luck ended,2.0
34400,wooo  hours of booms and shootingss and spock made me tired  jonasparanoid ,0.0
34401, of teens will experience depression before reaching to adulthood a random fact about depression,3.0
34402,i cannot see any columns in tweet deck wtf and lethallogan trying to call you loads not connecting pffft  stop asking hahaha,2.0
34403,how do you forgive people who has hurt you in the past i dont know how to do it i cant let go the memories are so vivid every time i hear about them or think about them i get angry i want revenge i want them to burn in hell i hate them so much i cant let go theyre enjoying life now while my mind is trapped in the past i hate my mind i hate myself i know im the cause of my suffering you dont have to remind me ,3.0
34404,this air france thing is freaking me out  ,2.0
34405,nestea and twix yumm ,0.0
34406,had a metal breakdown i had a mental breakdown today and it really hit me while i was driving the fact that i keep pushing people who i think genuinely like me away but i cant tell man its hard cuz all the friends i had before would use me and toss me aside and treat me like shit i also feel that they grew away from me in a way,3.0
34407,woo hanging with the besties ,0.0
34408,cleaned up kilometerkevin s upstairs going to work in a couple of hours ,2.0
34409,ouch i hate having cramps ,2.0
34410,my wine flue has got worse today ,2.0
34411,rt rucev depression is like drowning except you can see everyone else around you breathing ,1.0
34412,paulamo congrats can you breath again ,0.0
34413,i am now singing pokerface ,0.0
34414,spent the last hour or two looking at old photos some of those times i definitely miss ,2.0
34415,robluketic when you see jackson later today give him hugs n kisses from me ,0.0
34416,homeless but not shelterless everyone says being homeless is terrible ive learned that every situation is different im homeless but not because i made poor financial decisions or choose drugs and lost everything or lost my job im homeless due to escaping an abusive and toxic environment i sleep in my car and live out of a storage unit at first it was terrible i was discouraged scared angry all the emotions poured through my body my first night in my car i ended up in the hospital with an extreme panic attack as time has gone on ive learned how to adjust what places are homelessfriendly and what ones are not i see homelessness with new eyes i still wish that it wasnt something that is looked so down on and that homeless people were not seen as in the way something that takes up space in society many homeless people have no shelter and live on the streets many have mental illnesses and can not afford medication to help them so to others they seem dirty and crazed im lucky to have my car for my shelter i have a support system of friends that i met at work that have quickly become family i have my church family and a few individuals that i met when i first moved here things could always be worse but in a sense i feel very free it is still hard but i feel safer in most ways now than i did when i was in the environment i escaped from i guess my point is this please be kind to everyone you dont know what they are going through they may be smiling on the outside but broken on the inside trying to do the best they can but still struggling we are still people just down on our luck ❤️,3.0
34417,itsdanbull the cure for anxiety,2.0
34418,ceoreese im so jealous ,2.0
34419,let´s just vote on choice we need  tanks ,0.0
34420, hmmm  there was no need for that,2.0
34421,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
34422,not goodmunchkinster is not feeling well ,2.0
34423,feeling like how im supposed to feel is when im not taking medication the first time i was hospitalized for depression i was   years later its more a struggle than it ever was when im on my meds i am numb but functional when im off them i am angry suicidal miserable but at least im god damn feeling something anything at least i wanna get up and punch the fucking wall until my knuckles are bloody and broken at least i fucking feel who cares if its not the right emotions as long as its something god damn why am i like this i just want it to be over im so fucking tired of being in my own head all the time,3.0
34424,rt plynteria adachi i became a cop just so i could legally carry a gun and kill peoplena fans oh fuck yum i love the edgeakechi i,1.0
34425,back home and just enjoyed some orange sorbet ice cream and now going to have a glass of wine with hubs and watch beastenders pmsl ,0.0
34426,im a loser and i havent accomplished anything with my life hello im  years old and im currently a junior in college second semester i feel like a complete loser and i have no idea what i do what to do with my life i mean i kinda have an idea helping people firefighter but i feel like people dont think i can do it or they think im incapable of being something that bad i think that all my friends think that i wont amount to anything and that bums me out i really wanna make my parents proud and be successful im shy and nervous often i tend to keep to myself a lot i dont get with women that often in fact i dont get with women at all another reason why i think im a loser i liked this girl a while back and she doesnt want anything to do with me it seems like i work a shitty job at school which i dont really like but im desperate for the money so i gotta suck it up i study my ass off for tests and i get mediocre grades all my friends seem like theyre going in the right direction and im going the complete opposite im pretty much the nice guy who always gets treated like shit its very hard for me to be mean or to yell at people because  i feel bad and  people probably dont take me seriously i just dont know what to do anymore ,3.0
34427,ive always kinda known i had adhd recently i was diagnosed and i have no one to talk to about it it really really sucks i dont know how to open up to someone and just let them know whats going on in my life how sad i am etc i dont want to post on social media i just look like im begging for attention i have no close friends that would even give a shit about something like this just sucks not having anyone to open up to,3.0
34428,new here ,0.0
34429,etoilequirit yea and i found the list of rk i gave you ,0.0
34430,sugarjones wish i could join you on friday but im on mom duty ,2.0
34431,queensland are cheating ,2.0
34432,i just realized this is the first time ive ever been away from my daddy on fathers day  i miss him so much i love u daddy,2.0
34433, i want taryn to stay with me and be retarded forever,2.0
34434,my eye hurtssss i wanna cry but itll just hurt moreeee ,2.0
34435,drevilll lmaooo why im on my fifth little bottle of kahlua ,0.0
34436,so sleeeeepyy didnt sleep till   not going to school till  period i had a weird dream hahaha,2.0
34437,iekcad theres one in cebu and its cheaper than whats in macau youll see the whole of cebu  including beautiful slum areas sweet ,0.0
34438,taylorgotbeats i know  sorry ermm nah nothing new except the weathers warming up over here lol i just really need to get mre organized,2.0
34439,adamrebel thanks lol my google phone is waaack i wish i had an iphone ,2.0
34440,tryin to make i got the chills like crazy ,2.0
34441,jamthedirtybird jam we miss ya on facebook my guy lol oh and youre superbowl is going to be on today  too bad e rob couldnt tackle rod,2.0
34442,banananne that sounds sweet  im totally game ill text you about it kay,0.0
34443,poetlaureate where you been ,0.0
34444,so very hungry ,2.0
34445,didnt get my strawberry pancakes that ive been craving this morning ,2.0
34446,my little guy has a fever ,2.0
34447,dont forget kalakaua in waiks is closed i did ,2.0
34448,im still thinking  idk ,2.0
34449,the bucket list was a very bad film choice this evening  i may need therapy now ,2.0
34450,still up lol ,0.0
34451,hiya peeps im bak fom the dance ,0.0
34452,i wish there was   help me cope with hypothyroidism ,2.0
34453,past few days live play on casino agony with online poker quitting all my business activities playing friends glitter and glamor ,0.0
34454,mindtweets i vote for the freakishentitycreaturething ,0.0
34455,isa aint following me  im sad ,2.0
34456,stefffer why dont you shut up i just saw it on my phone at work  fucking linebrink chocked on his own dick cubs were owned till th ,2.0
34457,cleaning painting and greys ,0.0
34458,johnkeypm your awesome ,0.0
34459,i ripped my favorite pair of jeans ,2.0
34460,help please engagement breakup in a dark place i need someone to talk to about an engagement break up anyone else been through the same thing,3.0
34461,as a former radio personality i better know my hip hop lines ,0.0
34462,im off now cant tweet anymore the chart show tonight at  with the lovely dj h britasia tv dont be anywhere else  big love x,0.0
34463,purplemuffinman ooh hit a raw spot have i  you have been missed sir way too much politeness going on,0.0
34464,coffee helps but doesnt do it all for you  sadly,2.0
34465,offtherichter yay  lucifly miss you more,0.0
34466,home from work  very disappointed with poor daytime tv,0.0
34467,i would like to get invisalign to fix some spaces in my teeth but too expensive ,2.0
34468,school again tomorrow taking summer classes so i can catch up i just wanna graduate and be a teacher already ,0.0
34469,i miss my hubby ,2.0
34470, youre welcome i appreciate your appreciation ,0.0
34471,survey says i should not have used the facebook email contact feature ,2.0
34472,yfrancis just be sure to release flowchat before wwdc people will be grateful ,0.0
34473, wow i cant believe u reached the facebook limit for  of friends crazy ,0.0
34474,crownpublishing im trying to respond to your dm but cant since you arent following me ,2.0
34475,depression in relationships lately i have been in a funk and i feel bad venting to my boyfriend about it i dont want to bring him down or think i am trying to get attention i can be insecure about my relationship with him so sometimes i worry about what i mean to him and just spiral down into a depression ,3.0
34476,eonmckai at least you arent getting litter in your bed then ,0.0
34477,good morning how yall doing out there  degrees out there amp rain ,2.0
34478,unitechy arrey my pc is deadwont  be able to play ,2.0
34479,jesssicababesss yeah i think it could be around  but ill chekc now ,0.0
34480,update  shame its me asking if anyone else is having issues with twitter ,2.0
34481,boy i miss schumacher  ,2.0
34482,donncha lucky you ubuntu upgrade just killed my graphics drivers happens every time ,2.0
34483,ddubscvrgrl remind myself that respectful gentlemaly good guys do exist this fake wedding band doesnt quite do thequottrickquotanymore ,2.0
34484,im getting my new phone today  that means i can finally call people yayy haha,0.0
34485,rt itstaytorres depression isnt always suicidal thoughts and loneliness and unending sadness sometimes its sleeping too much or too,2.0
34486,just got home from the hospital i have another clot in my leg ,2.0
34487,i have no control over my life  a senior in hs fluctuates between meh and suicidal every single day i dont have the opportunities that literally every single person from my town has college in my house is taboo my dad picks everything for me without my consent or opinion its his way or nothing just found out he registered me for i think its called fafsa and he filled out my application and enrolled me into a college under a major i dont want he never asked me what i want to do or if im even going to college he just picked these things and made me a computer science major im retarded i cant even do basic algebra and hes making me a computer major i literally want to go to med school if i go to college and hes choosing my life for me im not even allowed to talk about college bc he shuts the conversation down hell im not even allowed to be alive like the other kids because i was born unlikeable i was born with anxiety crooked teeth ugly face and borderline mentally and thus meant to die young i cant even have a relationship with a girl anymore because after a few days they learn who i am if everyone has a problem with you and you meet them at different times and they dont know each other theres not a problem with them its you i need to die i want to live but im not allowed to,3.0
34488,school and work are killing me  i have no time for sleep or homework,2.0
34489, ate im not stress ok im just realtalkin them like katie the classy basher turned into a fan😂,0.0
34490,johnboyy i get those emails at work all the time  turn out to be spam but one day ,0.0
34491,josheddy i knowwwwww  girlfriend needs a job gotta go back for an interview,2.0
34492,jonasbrothers awesome cant wait for it  love you guys,0.0
34493,bed time ,0.0
34494,goatfox weekend was tough but im still smokefree  i had no motivation and slept a ton but maintained my willpower ,0.0
34495,i am missing my wife she is  km away from me ,2.0
34496,is at work and not very happy about it  but my staff are taking me to lunch so that should be fun ,0.0
34497,suddenly missed watching hbos six feet under was a big fan of the show  ,0.0
34498,i love having anxiety attacks 🙃,1.0
34499,rayzorblades  really man i really really wanted to see that movie ,2.0
34500,rt joeyginz rip corner hero the best thing that ever happened to me and to this town this is the worst day of my life might have an an,1.0
34501,headacheeeeee ,2.0
34502,calliepoole  wish i was there call me after u get ur presents i love you boo bear,2.0
34503,i dont know whats wrong i dont know whats wrong i think i have bdd but im not sure whenever i think i have bdd a voice in the back of my head tells me that im just ugly and dont want to accept it so im just making up things its gotten worse over the past few years to the point that now i try not to talk in front of other people because it makes my already round face appear even rounder im in front of the mirror all the time and if im not in front of it im thinking of how ugly im looking to everyone around me and how i should just off myself im constantly thinking of taking a blade to my face and going to work because then id just look fucking scarred and maybe people wont notice how ugly i look otherwise whenever i feel happy and laugh about something im instantly reminded of how fucking hideous i must look and i should stop laughing so people around me wont pukeive had a lot of people  chicks and dudes tell me i look handsome but i just cant accept that everytime someone tells me i look good i just want to fucking beat them up its like telling a disabled dude that hed making a pretty good swimmer its just fucking cruel but whenever someone comments anything negative about my appearance  it super fucking hurts but i feel validated like im not fucking crazy its not all in my head and that i am ugly like for example one of my friends told me my face was kinda round  years back in a chem lab and i havent stopped thinking about that since theni have a girlfriend an absolutely beautiful soul and im getting more suspicious of her by the minute like why tf would she like me shes fucking gorgeous last week i finally had enough and asked her why she even liked me and she told me that i look cute and that i was a good guy since then my mind has convinced me that shes just fucking with me and she doesnt like me and is doing it for for knows what and the sad thing is even if she was screwing around with me id totally get her i would even be happy for hersorry if this is a wall of text was just looking for somewhere to rant before i did something stupid,3.0
34504,kimtv too bad for the camera  my friend took some good pics and vid footage will post it soon tonight south rakkas crew at blue dog,2.0
34505,sudosushi nice to meet you finally enjoy the pizzas too that take away i voided off the system while you were there turned up though ,0.0
34506, changeling sigh,2.0
34507,perhaps a little hope  yes it is true that nobody cares about anything really whether your happy or sad rich or poor succeed or fail have friends or not there are  ppl living on this planet  and counting it would not be possible for ppl to care due to the scale of human life we have  days to live  hours how could they possible really care perhaps even if they did and you were lucky to have a good friend perhaps they even spent an enormous  hours caring about you that would only be like  of their life if it was  hours thats  the point is to t a k e  i t e a s yyes who cares if bad things happen good thing happen your depressed or your happy your rich or your poor your a doctor or a killer it all is irrelevant so is everything else for that matter so whats to worry about its all significant it will be over youll die from old age in a blink of this planets history the earth is  years old take that  year life span if your lucky and thats still like  of time merely a small raindrop in the poolif anything we shouldnt even be alive we are a fluke of existence the factors that lead to our evolution are like lottery ticket odds if the drought in africa from the last mass extinction didnt exist at the time of the rodent species and blah blah blah we would still be rodent things living in treesso the point is yes it kinda sucks that we are all stuck here in the depression while other ppl are more happy have freinds experiences meaning but really does it matter no it doesnt who is really to define happiness what if on a different planet all the depressed ppl were viewed as happy and all the happy people were classified as depressed who gives the authority its all meaningless and subjective bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people life isnt fair its a game of probability a very elaborate one indeed the bell curve and normal distributions just meant we got unlucky and are part of that  standard deviations from the mean that  group which are unsatisfied it doesnt really mean anything elselive life on your own terms we dont necessarily have much to lose or gain it just is we exist no evil no good no happiness no depression just it simply is and there are perks to depression as well as cons it depends on how we leverage them depression isnt really good or bad it just is if you want to fight it thats fine if not thats also fine just take it easy and be thankful that we are lucky enough to share this  of cosmic history against the  odds that we never would exist and perhaps maybe we might find it worthwhile but if not thats okay too its all in the game enjoy the ride but if you cant thats okay too nobody really cares and neither should you so whats to worry about i have personaly found nilihism to be very liberating,3.0
34508,nbloom i loved him in his last tour with the busted collarbone was such  a fan ,2.0
34509,jasonmanford aaaaw sounds fun ,0.0
34510,getting on toward bedtime hopefully tomorrow with involve socialization with actual people good night world ,0.0
34511,atinnel youre welcome  my fav survivor,0.0
34512,someone send me their sad playlist,2.0
34513,celebstylist i know isnt it amazing haha i just got home from downtown im exhausted have to bee at work at  too ,2.0
34514,moneyfirst thanks u know i had to upgrade  ,0.0
34515,ayeletb thanks were celebrating at ozumo tonight ,0.0
34516,i dont know what to do honestly i dont know what is happening every day is the same depressing shit over and over again i dont have a social life the only time i get it is at work and school i barley go i have people who care and worry about me but shut them outdistant myself because i dont wanna hurt them the only way for me to cope is to smoke and get high even still every night is a living hell im afraid my girlfriend is gonna leave me because of how i am im never gonna get a real job find my place in the world and i just feel like a burden to my family and friends around me i think about how my life used to be so much better back when i was a kid and how i dont wanna  wanna go back in time because now im just barley pulling through each day,3.0
34517,i just removed all my lotr posters  my room is naked it looks weirrddd,2.0
34518,blooming roasting  n writin an english essay ,2.0
34519,hi everyone ive had enough now whats happening ,0.0
34520,currently at scores bout to hit callahans for more beers ,0.0
34521,being under  is the worst  i hope i get in tonight,2.0
34522,i want to go to the beach again and enjoy some lychee yogurt but im here waiting at the hospital starving ,2.0
34523,dont want to go to work tomorrow ,2.0
34524, miss you too baby were just having a bad timing ,2.0
34525,i just remember that i havent eaten anything today but its  ,0.0
34526,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
34527,amazing how stressed you can get with a piece of plastic ,2.0
34528, depression myths we need to stop believing ,2.0
34529,oww  more day before higschool graduation announcement im sooo nervous ,2.0
34530,rt sighbrattt i got this happy ass personality w a sad soul my bad if i be acting weird,1.0
34531,just finished watching jon amp kate plus  ,2.0
34532,when you use working out to ease anxiety but working out is causing you anxiety dilema,1.0
34533,petalofred nope not me thetruemaster can have it ,0.0
34534,missing my man ,2.0
34535,im in pain  taken the tablets nurse gave me but worrying she said they may make my tummy bleed shit  steak for tea thowoop ,2.0
34536,now i automatically think of emplyedhipster and bizthevision when watching the golden girls ,0.0
34537, that would totally rock ,0.0
34538,alisugaakookie  btstwt sorry i cant help it ill censor his name after this 😭😭 im just so heartbro ,0.0
34539,sucks that noone else from our friends could get splendour tix but at least me and mads are still going  massively excited,0.0
34540,loss of desire hey guys ive pretty much lost all desire and interest in things i cant keep my focus on movies or tv and im no longer interested in girls i find them attractive but i feel like how could they ever want me when i have no interests and cant be fun i want to be fun and interesting again and have interests and care about something had this happened to anyone or has anyone got out of a hole so big they thoight theyd never come out of,3.0
34541,trapped myself into helping out at the uni open day today when i could be studying andor sleeping ,2.0
34542,getting ready to enjoy the sunshine at zoeys  birthday party ,0.0
34543,just in case anyones wondering im effectively absent from twitter till next thursday at least up north with the family ,0.0
34544,a year ago i let depression get the best of me amp i was very underweight my anxiety was so bad i barely left my ro ,1.0
34545,last night i put a gun to my head but couldnt pull the trigger ive posted here before i make a lot of money working in cybersecurity ive never been more miserable i have job offers out the  right now im even interviewing with facebook the girl who i was with for  years left me because i refused to move to the bay area it cost too much money and i worked too hard to be poor i grew up like dirt floor and somehow climbed my way out she told me she is hooking up with some other guy but is not in relationship weve been broken up for  months i loved this woman with all my heart i worked day and night to make all of our dreams come true i wanted to marry her and live happily ever after i dont know how much longer i can live like this i feel like i have made it to the top of the world only to lose the most important thing in my life,3.0
34546,i have that super anxious feeling in a good way ,0.0
34547,hes a cutie  boozhetto,0.0
34548, lol whoa i appreciate that ,0.0
34549,thank youuu sunshine for making my nose  darker than my forehead ,2.0
34550,so tired  i wish i could go home ahhh x,2.0
34551,its far too early to be up on a sunday morning especially as a little girl was awake most of the night ,2.0
34552,the princess is to tired to come over to see me she dont love me anymore  lol,2.0
34553,trigger warming desperately suicidal i woke up this morning and was suddenly really suicidal i was crying and asking my boyfriend to help me kill myself specifically to help me cut my wrists to help me stop my thoughts i said that if he loved me and wants to help me he will do it he was freaking out and saying why would you want to do that to yourselfi said if he knew how bad his feels he will help me otherwise hes leaving me to suffer its like euthanasia how are you expecting me to just live with this you would help me end it if you knew how much im suffering we went to see a doctor they gave me sleeping pills now im not sure what to do with myself ,3.0
34554,bitches be wearing  outfits and yet never dropping a penny on shit when you throw their ass out they be coming ,2.0
34555,i believe my depression has manifested in a abnormal way disclaimer i am not diagnosed as if i were i would not be posting to a goddamn subreddit i am still in my teen years and have no intention of seeking help from a medical professional until i am an adult for the reason of having to admit to my parents everything i am about to say ok i straight up dont feel empathy for peoplei dont see this as a problem but i know from observing other people it is this has become overwhelmingly apparent especially in the coronavirus pandemic put simply i dont care about anyone currently suffering from or worried about covid if i get it i get it i dont care i dont care people are dying i dont care my own family is scared if anything this is fun to watch i dont have to go to school and i can spend all day in bed this is amazing i am absolutely aware that i sound like an asshole and i know to you i am but i see no problem with feeling this way however i am aware that it is not normal i didnt care when there were mass shootings i didnt care when my grandparents died despite loving them i dont care if people are sad or scared i think theyre all being crybabiesgrowing up my family were always screaming at each other my sister especially she always tried to stab my parents and attack them eventually when i was a kid about the  time she got taken to a mental hospital was when i stopped caring completely i used to cry when my family would fight but know its just annoying i would kill her if it wasnt illegal in a heartbeat shell go to college soon though so thats the only reason i havent killed her yet as well as not killing myself i am lucky to have a situation like this only be temporary who knows thoughi have a sense of humor and i can get angry and sad i can even get jealous so i know im not a sociopath i just thing the trama of having a broken family got to me in a really weird way,3.0
34556,rt stillshesmiles every time i start to stress myself out jehovah reminds me why i shouldnt he really never ever abandons me when im rea,2.0
34557,podium with celine lateer ,0.0
34558,has coffee made and lunch made and is heading off to work yea ,2.0
34559,ahbilly are you in need of another kiss attack ,0.0
34560,harvesting all my corns in farm town ,0.0
34561,depression fatigue hi allthis is going to be long i really need helpi was diagnosed with depression  and anxiety i got medication and been on it for three months it helped me just a biti was dedicated to my studies self diaciplined and outgoing person studied hard and trained hard i was   lbs poweflifter fell into a trap called instagram with all posing for photoshootings and i guess showing off but deep inside me i knew i wasnt like that it was just to get girls and i got what i wanted but didnt know how to handle all that i knew if i was doing it i kinda fell of my track i even turn to alchocol drinking at that point and smoking cigarettes i knew that it was bad for me bug i kept going left alchocol and going out fell into another trap called bed and nicotine addiction i got lazy fast and nothing is fun i dont have any discipline and i dont know how to overcome this i got to the point where i am  lbs and blood pressure went thru the roof got medicine for that but it didnt felt any better im on diet but nothing is happening still im stuck to the bed no discipline at all i do  my studies but cant keep consistency i start than i stop im so scared and dont know how to cope with this sorry for my bad english and long story can anyone help to get out of this its been three years right now and im twenty years old ,3.0
34562,jordanknight oh yay  is it someone you know,0.0
34563,donp it really does work that way have had it happen many times   on the other hand weve kept the universal balance in place go us,2.0
34564,i started crying during the new moon sneak peek ,0.0
34565,i get jealous of other peoples social lives i am  and i live with my asian parents who are super controlling they dont really let me go out more than twice in a month so when i see other people on snapchat and instagram or my boyfriend even going to parties restaurants and to each others places on a daily basis i just feel left out too much i try to ignore it all of the times and watch movies and documentaries and also not check social media very often but then when my friends or boyfriend talk to me they have so many stories of going out while i have nothing to contribute in conversation idk what to do as i cant just get out of my house whenever i want to cos of my parents so theres really no way out but yeah it hurts a lot ,3.0
34566,wilsonlam annnnd you were herebeforeoprahandashton  via bkgirlfriday  and so were you and naruto ,0.0
34567,ever feel like youre just wasting away hi everyone i just found this subreddit and i really would like to know if anyone else feels this way let me start off by saying that i believe ive had depression since around  so i have a hard time remembering what i felt like without it but for years ive gotten these moments where i genuinely feel like im nothing and i have nothing to offer anyone that im just this waste of organic matter and often times this feeling is almost crushing i feel like i truly am nothing and that everyone else is going to pass me by without so much as a sideways glance and for the past couple years ive just felt less and less inclined to do anything new or take up any hobbies because i just have this gut feeling that im going to be awful at everything or i just find myself not interested in everything i just feel like a shell of the person i used to be im sorry if im rambling but i just need to know if other people feel like this ,3.0
34568,how do you know if a cut is infected long story short as possible my health insurance was cancelled for some reason i still dont know and i spent a week without my antidepressants during which i went back to cutting myself one of them just one has a very small purple splotch on it and my head feels a bit fuzzy or tired im not sure if thats part of my antidepressant withdrawal though because my head was very dizzy and fuzzy for half the week how do you know when a cuts been infected,3.0
34569,ooo is disney xd having a static stock marathon  ii believe they are  im such a big kid ,0.0
34570, � is pandora   is walle they wanted to say hello as well ,0.0
34571,whats your go to music for depression im kinda just curious what others are listening to when they dont feel like living one song i really like is u by kendrick lamar,3.0
34572,victoriadahl wheres the halo   i miss it ,0.0
34573,i hate when gay store people follow the rules grrr i dont want to wait til tomorrow its too far awayyy ,2.0
34574,cant stop smiling when i read all those funnymesejsreally keeps me younger than my trulyageoh everyday is a fine day more n mooore ,0.0
34575,yes big brother starts in july just saw a commercial for it ,0.0
34576,crazymadzy hahahahah  would be the chief contributors lol  ,0.0
34577,waking up very early tomorrow but doubt ill be sleeping early tonight cant wait for next week ,0.0
34578, depression myths we need to stop believing  ,1.0
34579,finally got my profile picture back up ,0.0
34580,not happy anymore i dont know whats be going on with myself recently but for a while now ive noticed i just havent been happy im  years old and a sophomore in college and have felt so many different emotions that constantly develop every single day and i was adopted amp my adopted family basically turned their back on me after i went away to school and treated me like crap amp became so toxic to my mental health to the point where i told myself i would never go back after last summer i tried going to the counselor at my school to try and talk about how im feeling because i just never talk about it amp thought maybe it could help but i stopped going after going two timesim always worried about the future and how im going to make it because as of right now i take care of myself financially and its not going so great with the low pay and constantly worried will i be homeless or not when school is out or how im going to pay a bill my mind is always thinking about this and the thought of not having a roof over my head amp being able to keep trying to make sure this doesnt happen and then i start to think about how i wish i had help and how i wish i had family and want it so bad like maybe if i had people that actually cared about me or finally stopped pretending they cared after i got old enough i wouldnt be in this position its sad because i want people around me that care about me more than ever now especially when i was a freshman moving almost  away from the home i ever knew and crying and just feeling sorry for myself because here i am all alone doing something completely different amp that i find a accomplishment but also stressful and no one to talk to or cant go back to a place i called home anymorei try so hard to deal with this or just not think about it and not feel sad but it always seems to come right up i honestly just want to be happy amp i keep finding it harder and harder everyday to be just that,3.0
34581,i have to get through this i have an overbearing mother i know her interests are definitely in the right side of the spectrum but her constant bombardment has led me to resent and partially hate the things she does but not heri dont have a father hes a deadbeat and left when i was young so far its just been me my mom and sister my sister and mom are always on one side with me on the other its always been  vs  in argumentsover the years i used video games to escape my mother but it only seemed to trigger her even more im a straight a student but i recently did have a bad semester because a bad wrap with a teacher with differences that is an entirely different storyi have an addiction yes ill admit it but ive been desperately trying to ease down playing ive been trying to read up a bit more and go to the gym  months in alreadyrecently my sister is taking to the extreme of taking my desktop away last time she ripped the power supply cable off and destroyed my keyboard and desktop on a fit of rage i fixed it but didnt find the desktop until  months later when i confronted her about it i went into depression and i became progressively angry over the days i have been doing mma for roughly  years every day my coach and teacher would notice i would hit harder and become wild the more i trained this soon became a problem i started hitting lower ranking students with a bit more force and showing the restraint i previously hadi got back the desktop its a bit damaged but still works fine i just had to swap out parts however im focusing on school now i have all my documents on my desktop with the software that allows me to complete my assignments i am a bit hot headed and arrogant and i am a really mean person sometimes but i did get into really heated argument with my sister and mother its spring break and i really just want to stay home and not go anywhere all my friends are weedsmokers and drug users and i dont attend any of their fratsorority partiesthe argument is i dont have enough friends i stay home and be fat note im a built boxer that can survive a  round fight as well as not going out much i only really talk to  people a day and they are usually my good classmates  today they threatened to take away the desktop again i had a rush of anger but then i just felt that if they take it way away it would make no difference it wouldnt change who i am neither would it make me a better personi have nothing really to lose but school however i know that will not happen they are definitely going to take it away nothing that you guys will commentsay will change it its either i fight back or just let them push me into another  months of depression and rage this is their dedication not my therapists my therapist she tells me that i should study then play but for half the time i agree its been helping tremendously but however every time my mom sees me its always when im playing i have admitted me addiction but my sister is using my admittance as an excuse to take everything away note she wants to become a social worker like ive reiterated its either i fight back or let them take everything and i feel that theres nothing i can do i just have to keep pushing or just give up and live my life based on their standards my sister always says men are the cause of her problems i disagree as the men shes met have been all terrible suitors but nobody has taken my word today she compared me to themi feel that i shouldnt have been born for the reason that my mother and sister would of lived better lives without me and the constant arguing who knows my father probably would of stuck around to help them ,3.0
34582,drable hi cutie happy monday ,0.0
34583,ill never be good enough ive always bordered on perfectionism from childhood and school only fueled my desire to become better and better at everything every belowaverage grade is a stab to my gut every time my teachers dont give me the highest grade it feels like ive just been punched a bad grade and my self esteem plummetswhen this doesnt take over my life i find myself numb i always think of what i couldve been what i mightve done because i can always do better i should know better my life feels like a mistake i feel like an impostor in my own body trying to figure out how ive lived my own life for the past decade i have friends and talk to people sometimes i even have romantic interests but im not interested in romance i cant even handle myself — how can someone else handle me all my relationships with the exception of one are superficial i find myself craving alone time and yet i am so alone with no one to help me maybe im being dramatic maybe my problems arent worthy of a post but i really need to let this out i want to let this out in person too but i have no one to confide in,3.0
34584,jammin to capital in my garden  xx,0.0
34585,i am a crazy vizsla ,0.0
34586,any reason to report a teachers abuse  years later after she retired in  when i was near the end of  grade my teacher had an incident where she dumped out my desk and screamed at me in front of our class made me clean it up while i was crying took me to the hallway to lean into my face and yell at me oneonone about not having assignments done because of how disorganized i was that i was alone in how poorly i was doing that i used the word try too much and never took responsibility for my actions still no idea what actions she was referring to for the last  weeks of school i wasnt allowed to go to recess or work in groups she was very sarcastic about assignments id turn in and would tell me she only expected me to do poorlymy parents asked me to deal with it for the remainder of the year and they wrote a letter asking me to be removed from her class for next year it was a mag class meaning id have had her as a teacher from  to  grade not mentioning any of her behavior towards me i was having night terrors bed wetting exema all over my body obviously doing poorly in school i stopped participating in class because i was always afraid of doing something wrong there was an incident when i refused to leave for school one morning and told my parents i felt like killing myselfive been talking to therapists and counselors for years and im still dealing with these issues  years ago that teacher retired i really believe she shouldve lost her job in  and it makes me deeply sad to imagine she likely did this to other people would there be a reason to talk to the school district about this now the district she retired in is the same she bullied me in,3.0
34587,im throwing my life away its like im throwing my life away im still very  and have my whole life ahead of me i used to be really good at school but the past  years it all went down hill i wont get any degree if i continue not showing up im good enough to pass the literal tests but me not attending school is what destroys everything i already get a ton and i really mean a ton of help but i just cant handle going to school i have a lot of potential for a lot of hard work and everyone knows that but thats also why no one understands whats happening with me i used to cut myself then i was clean for over a year and then last summer i started again im definitely not cutting as much as i used to but now im rather biting myself i also recently started smoking because i feel to stressed sometimes to just handle me not having a breakdown  panic attack or just completely raging out and destroying everything around me i feel like a disappointment especially because i know how much i could actually be doing when i tell people that i cant even imagine what i would be doing in  minutes or less they tell me thats normal but why does it feel like im just the only one experiencing it im honesty scared of myself a lot of the timeive been in therapy for a little over  years i know that its helping me but i wasnt able to see my therapist the past  months which is why probably feel even more lost them usualbtw english isnt my first language so im sorry if some things are hard to understand,3.0
34588,hate going to bed and waking up with anxiety each and every day its getting old 😩,2.0
34589,the jolly banker great depression of  with  inflatio httpstcogjyrkplgzh,2.0
34590,mileycyrus    voted for you  ,0.0
34591,is there an area of your life or a productive activity you do that makes the cloud lift for a little while lets hear some positivity and if you dont have anything like this right now its ok i hope you can find something that makes you tick soon maybe someobe can even find some inspiration here cooking and baking are my happy things its productive and keeps me moving which helps ease guilt and anxiety i love to experiment and it makes me feel awesome when i create something delicious and beautiful not to mention the reward is the best it keeps me going and prevents me from wasting away on my phone or in bed all dayeveninganyone else have a thing ,3.0
34592,benculp ok so if you worked hard over the weekend you should be able to relax and take it easy during the week ,0.0
34593,why am i so happy  tests  ,2.0
34594,nlsimpson my bad its like  here  hahaha time zones messed up lol,0.0
34595,obamas commercial for national service came on tv my mom says quothe doesnt mean you you need to stop volunteeringquot ,2.0
34596,why does a late night workout always make me want to stay up really late and drawpaint ,0.0
34597,shame i didnt hear about the radiophonic workshop gig sooner  even though my dad is the only person i know who would actually go too,2.0
34598,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
34599,off to glue stuff onto poster ,0.0
34600,kimkardashian yes just do itits fun ,0.0
34601,rollafatty good for you its cloudy at my place ,0.0
34602,oh my gosh this is so hard ,2.0
34603,therealedjones not so good in english shortiesbut i think you meen whats up am i right i´m up anywaynot down ,0.0
34604,jesusreignsfe morning girl  have a nice and blessed day ,0.0
34605,ihate that they do random drug tests at work no fun for me ,2.0
34606,why is it always the people you love amp care bout most r the ones that end up hurting u the most  anor  frens marriage  gone downhill ,2.0
34607,please help i dont know how to get better  i turned  last year and ive been having a hard time i guess adjusting it use to be really easy for me i always knew what i wanted to do and just did it but now i wake up and have no idea if im happy or what i want to do when i get off of work i sit in my living room and just stare blankly at the tv waiting for that gut feeling to make me want to do something but it never comes i started painting my apartment because i thought the color scheme maybe was effecting my mood and ive been putting it off finishing it for a month little things set me off and i find myself crying over literally spilt milk i need something to do that i enjoy but all my old hobbies make me miserable ive been having a hard time leaving the house the thought of getting in my car and going out with friends terrifies me half the time when they make plans for me i think i make myself sick so i dont have to go what is wrong with me and how do i fix it im so sick of feeling like shit all the time and not being happy,3.0
34608,stojo yay sounds like you are having fun ,0.0
34609,sashakane funny its all about working with our energy to find what works rather than a straightforward way  have a delightful week,0.0
34610,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
34611,aha true   omg how fully sick is my background i finally worked this shit out,0.0
34612,  twitter blocked here  trying a workaround for tweeting can u c this via ,2.0
34613, fine reply to kelsey and not me ill just go cry now ,2.0
34614,my senior prom was last night and it was pretty awesome anna maria island today and getting my blackberry tomorrow ,0.0
34615,boyare you deaf  girlwhy  boybecause you are the one my heart is shouting for   yee too much cheezy ,0.0
34616,watching bbfbof ,0.0
34617,rt ohkayewhatever just speaking my goddamn truth ok  ,0.0
34618,roxxxyj  cool beans tweet away baby   dani,0.0
34619, thanks sweetie  i hope so too ,0.0
34620,donniewahlberg so wish i was there with ya but at  belgian time i was sleepingtime diff sucks take me there ,0.0
34621,rt orwellngoode if you were to write that about anyone else it would be career suicide ,1.0
34622,   puppy joshfittell ill do a trade ,0.0
34623,is this depression hi allnot too sure what else to do so i thought i was would reddit since you guys are great about a week ago something changed and i believe im going through a major depressive episode ive mostly struggled with anxiety my entire life overthinking everything the whole shabang but this is different everything feels like a struggle my brain feels slow like i have to think things through multiple times before i say them simple things like answering the phone and anything else feels like a mountain of effort i have no confidence in myself at all to complete the simplest tasks i really am at a loss is this a depressive episode i feel like my foundation has been stripped from underneath me and i cant control any of my feelings there is this low feeling in my stomach constantly as well time is just moving really slowly as well like im waiting for something to happen but i dont know what it is and its terrifying,3.0
34624,i have no idea what to do anymore ive recently broke up with a guy i was on and off with for years he said some pretty hurtful things about me and threw all the stuff i said to him in confidence in my facesuch as no wonder you were abused as a child etci havent mov d out of bed properly for  days and i feel awful as i have a  year old girl dad is no existent i always get bad bouts of feeling down and i feel suicidal ive tried but obviously not hard enough as im still here i think my attempts have been really petty and i think im scared to do it properlyi also dont want to leave my daughter behind on her own having to deal with that i have recently met a lot of my family and a lot are half sisters and a half brother i have a full sister who has no decided to move to australia with a half brother she hardly knows at alli know i envy her in some way as ive always wanted to move abroad i just feel so helpless i try and think i can do things but then that little voice creeps in saying that i am worthless and there is no point my ex did not help he was an alcoholic and he was not helpful when he got drunk he would just cry ad start calling me names etc sometimes over nothing or sometimes over a trivial mattermy daughter only saw bits of that side of him as i mainly went round during the day and there was times when he was such a lovely guy i just dont know what to do i want to get away but every time i try something gets in my way my daughter is great and shes so polite and has a great personality i have been snapping at her lately and its not fair on her i feel like just being me is destroying her and i just dont feel like i deserve to be in other peoples presence i try and put a front on and be happy when i used to go out and i think people just get fed up because i probably say or do something stupid sorry for the big rant but i just need someone to talk to ,3.0
34625,that  cent raise aint cutting my back pain soreness lack of sleep stress gas,2.0
34626,mortonbrittony wtf u mean wuts goodie where tha hell u been nukka ,2.0
34627,cyanida wow twittering at work nice  u are the person who updates by minutes xdxd,0.0
34628,just made cakes  i hate the smell of hairspray ,2.0
34629,scjgreen a flight for me is too long and too expensive  as for announcements i havent really been paying attention to the rumours hahaha,2.0
34630, i hate this time of year in la the gloom is always such a disappointmentcouldnt have asked for a better day here ,0.0
34631,wishing i was in colorado at red rocks watching the disco biscuits ,2.0
34632,rt ianaiexander me after my second depression nap of the day httpstcojygigeghyg,2.0
34633,out of highschool not going to college and no friends the most difficult thing about trying to make a career without college is that no one believes in you nobody thinks im going to accomplish anything they dont think im doing anything right nowim busting my ass off studying but for people to lay it off because its not for college credits like classess are the holy grail for success i hope the revenge showing them wrong is more worthwhile than being appreciated in the moment,3.0
34634,renniesimmonds yeh i like shiney stuff i tried it on my fone didnt work ,2.0
34635,omg sad i just remembered her followed my personal too,1.0
34636,i fail at everything no matter how hard i try im such a pathetic failure  no matter how easy something is i always fail and after a while usually lose my resolve and give up stuff that comes easily to other people like having friends or holding a conversation holding a job                              cant do any of them hell since august of last year i tried to get in shape for the army pft but still struggle to do  pushups uni is out of the question because im dumb as rocks dont even have the guts to off myself and spare myself of future disappointment,3.0
34637,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
34638,lol bowwow live  yeah ill drop in there maybe some other time,0.0
34639,o my bad i didnt see ur tweet my bizzle  ,0.0
34640,kegs and eggs on gay street with manayunks finest for the manayunk bike race  wooohoo,0.0
34641,socially awkward fuck goes full on depressed for no reason and is surrounded by other depressed fucks i just want to die and dont know why after almost stabbing myself in the stomach a few weeks ago i scratched open my left arm today and just hate myself im happy i wear hoodies so people wont see but i just need good distraction for now,3.0
34642,romidesigns  nope no tantrums wasnt in my rampd   just the good qualities ,0.0
34643,valvaldez yeah they do ,0.0
34644,some people just make you smile  dont ever let them leave,0.0
34645, amp   bummed couldnt come tonight home super sick total bummer but had to listen to body per coachs advice ,2.0
34646,telco fail in berlin vodaphonede no dataodd apn on  fonik requires german bank accountaddr  similar no net for gaijin ,2.0
34647,washing ,2.0
34648,casudi yup  second time this has occurred were looking into it at this time,2.0
34649,will eat some cake baked by mom  ,0.0
34650,sharonnj ahhw poor sharon  what are u doing ,2.0
34651,i love this winter time  jjust one of the colest things ever  ,0.0
34652,via toodamnninja sleepytime in the den why does campus or one stop for that matter not have a starbucks ,2.0
34653,touching a marma point changes the bodys biochemistry and can unfold radical alchemical change in ones makeup ,2.0
34654,windyheart i miss harrison ,2.0
34655,fudgecrumpet hope it isnt too hot a summer thenhows little one todaybeing good i hopelol ,0.0
34656,so very very very sad right now ,2.0
34657,blacknerdgirls youre soooo welcome i  the black nerds ,0.0
34658,watching dtm  german car race championship my driver isnt so good today  only on ,2.0
34659,i cant hadle this anymore where should i start i live in eastern europe in postsoviet state cloudy days and depressing cities are usual thing i live in one roomed apartment with my family they shouting at each other all days i hate them all i dont see any support at home but i dont realy expect something else from them beacouse it a typical family with shitty views on the world  atempts to deal with bullying at school was great problem to me it all stoped  year agoi dont have any friends of course i have some people to chat with but i dont even have a single thought to tell them all my problemsabout my today life my grades have dropped badly i dont have any friends parents and family are steel to hostile to meevery day i am trying stop thinking about suicideany hobies no i tried gym computer classes but failedso in the end suicidal piece of shit who is about to dieedgelord,3.0
34660,longtime luker even longertime depressed now im at critical mass  firstly i am working with a psychologist and psychiatrist and have been for over a year now it has been a tremendous help and i am grateful to them todays dark place comes from my career change from photography to webdevelopment with a side of longing for something more prepare for a walli knew when i was  i wanted to be doing art for the rest of my life it shifted from wanting to be an art conservationistrestorationist to a portrait photographer  this shift happened when i found the career market for restoration painters to be extremely rough like only  school in the us offers a program in restoration theres a limit to how many restorationist are employed per institution and once you get in youre there for life and i didnt have the time to wait for a position to open if it ever did and i fit the bill the shift to photography was wonderful i discovered quickly that i had an eye for it and i spent  months mastering photoshop in  i can pretty much do anything with photoshop and i adore the wowd expressions i get when a client reviews the results from the shoot the rub with photography its a heavily saturated market and i am too expensive to compete with sears and too lowrep to compete with the like of sue bryce lindsay adler brooke shaden and the others gods and goddesses of photography enter career change my so is in web development and i have a knack for working with computers they seem to go hand in hand with creative anyway so with his help i got my first job as a junior developer making  with my first contract whereas before i was lucky to be making  the rub here i hate it i hate that i have this huge emotional rollercoast happening everyday when i feel like crap because ive given up on photography i suck at web development and when i succeed in a task my high is short lived because with web development you rinse and repeat the process look at the problem research and try solutions cry for the next few days while you continue to research and try solutions solve the problem  annnnnd its not photography or anything creative tiny me is dying inside because i know im good at photography but i cannot seem to make a career of itso part of me is ready to drop everything in my present location and make a mad dash for la because ive worked the nyc scene and i am so not into continuing fashion focused clients but am very interested in shooting set photography and actor portraits for marketing materials wherein i can transition into video workwhats all this have to do with my posting today im seriously ready to drop everything this well paying job my so if he doesnt want to join me and my life  as in ill be checking out because without my creative passion im a soulless husk of a being i could really use a ehug and words from fellow creatives in similar positions or better yet those who have been in my place and have moved on  im very anxious to hear from youif not thank you for reading it helps to scream this all somewhere,3.0
34661,i dont function im  i always think i can go back to schoolwork then i try and get hit by a shitton self disappointment because i cant its annoying because i dont even know why i just dont know how to talk with people i dont know how to behave around people not that im being inappropriate i just dont know how to be a normal fucking human being i dont know how to keep friends i want friends but at the same time i cant stand the thought of having to go out with them talk with them nor show interest in them and having to reply to their messages multiple times a day stresses the shit outta me i want a boyfriend but i feel like im uncable of feeling love showing love ive only had bad relationship experiences so that doesnt make shit any better  i ended up with the emotionally abusive ill kill myself if you leave guys or more known as nice guys not too lucky thetyve put a lotta stress on me especially the first one because i used to care a shitton about people i used to have really bad ocd and healthanxiety for myself and others so when this first boyfriend i had in  started being an abusive cunt started using my ocd against me and came with all these suicide threats i totally freaked out every time and that caused my little shit brain to shut down because it was simply too much and then i got diagnosed with dpdr hes obviously not the main reason he surely contributed though anyway i feel like im going nowhere and there is no hope left the worst part is that i dont even care because ive totally given up by now and i dont see myself living that long which is sad buhhoo i have no friends and i have no job no degree my family is starting to just annoy the shit outta me ive literally been told that i dont function for this society that i wont get anywhere because im not stable enough im a bit scared because i dont want to die so what do,3.0
34662,is headed back to ohio today ,2.0
34663,maybe next time i should try to catch the ball with my glove and not my other hand ouch ,2.0
34664,rt feminaindia make these changes now wellness health,0.0
34665,studying for finals sadly ,2.0
34666,when it rains it pours i cant help it but when its raining i just get sad like theres no hope for the sun to ever come out i know it will rise and fall tomorrow just like any other day but for once i wish it could stop raining end the suffering ,3.0
34667,just nothing im tired im tired im tiredi feel absolutely nothing i havent for monthsim not worth the space im taking up guysi have ups on some days where i feel ok and warm and i laugh a lotbut those laughs dont feel good they feel fine and then they go awayand i go back to feeling nothingand nothingim i know ive gone through nothing bad im fine i was raised happy im literally the age everyone says is emo and stupid and doesnt know shit and i knowi know i know and i knowi know i dont know shit i havent gone through shit but i feel nothingand i dont wanna cry and i keep stopping my crying because it didnt help last year it made things worsebecause if i cry right now ill cry tomorrow and in a week or two ill give up and grab something sharp and i might actually bleed this timei dont wanna die i just wanna stop feeling nothingim shaking and i dont shakei get up and do something and thats all of my energy gone for the weekits worthless anywaysat least it feels that wayand i dont wanna see my mom cry again because of me and tell me that the way i act made her take pills to keep her happyi dont wanna make her sad anymore because it hurts heri feel like i talk about me way too muchi feel like i talk way too muchim probably not even going to post this because right now im thinking why would you do this to them why would you make them see you and feel bad for you youre not worth ittheres others going through more than you and my hands are cold and i dont wanna cry i just wanna bleed but i dont and im tired im tired im tired,3.0
34668,dream a better dream then work hard to make it real ,0.0
34669,oh crap screwed up my drawing paper  ,2.0
34670,techcrunch writes a post about a tip i submitted and the author gets flammed for bashing ms  httptinyurlcomlxhblc,2.0
34671,i  want to die and have since i can remember my brother committed suicide and ive felt stuck ever since because i feel like if i do it ill hurt my parents even more my life is worthless but i cant do anything ab it my mind is everywhere and moving slow since i can remember ive always wanted to kill my self i remember when i was in  grade my school tried to call cps to investigate my home life because i talked about dying and wanting to kill myself nothing was ever wrong with my home life ive always just felt completely worthless and like i am wasting space in this world when i was  my brother shot him self and died and i was the one to perform cpr on his lifeless body because i was the only one there who was able to that morning when we found him i think that made me upset with him because now sometimes i feel forced to live because my parents cant take losing another child ive been in treatment before ive had lots of hospital visits and have managed to keep suicide attempts off my records even though thats far from the truth i remember when i would just loop belts to my hanging rack in my closet and try to hang myself but i never knew how to do it successfully ive been on  different medications i dont believe in help i think everyone who says it gets better is full of shit and i honestly think im in this alone because nothing helps i am more capable of helping myself than anyone in this world and once i get to the point where i cannot help myself anymore i plan on doing the deed i want to die i promised myself at  that if things werent good by  i would kill myself things were okay for a while then i turned  now i feel like ive let myself down for not following through with that promise the only satisfaction i get these days is when i self harm or get really messed up because its the closest ill get to dying until i can build up the courage to end it all,3.0
34672,pcills ohhhhh  ok thanx  ill check it out ,0.0
34673,blacktara i still need a date for ya wedding now  i knew i shouldve said i was gon be dolo wishful thinkin i guess  haha,2.0
34674,i am in texarkana think my computer has a  virus   ive been tweeting from my sis account tanyaka her page sucks,2.0
34675,truely grumpy today lifted only by a visit from aunty b back to being grumpy ,2.0
34676,funnydubby yes their like fuck  mars  i wont give mars twix and snickers to them if they force me ill give em bounty muahaha,0.0
34677,most americans have some form mental health issue going on  cuz us breeds mental illness  so nobody can point fin ,1.0
34678,fuck that sucked  i want new moon  ok ok it was alittle funny my sister and i screamed,2.0
34679,where is the iphone update ,2.0
34680,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
34681,yay for colton he gets my smart a comeback of the month award that was brilliant you really are my brother ,0.0
34682, i havent seen a cigar bar here in ages  i understand the banning smoking in public places but they closed the smoke bars too,2.0
34683,the guy sitting at the table next to me in the library is blasting rap music on his earphones  how can you study law with rap music,2.0
34684,ronfishman thats cute  thanks daddy,0.0
34685,webchyk   more scooting today  yay for no rain,0.0
34686, mmm that does sound good but im at work  hey wait a minute i dont eat butter,2.0
34687,clintonjeff haha hey man  yeah im here for about a month or so,0.0
34688,mathildepiard ill see what i can do worst comes to worst ill try to take real good notes ,0.0
34689,anthonydangelo youtube noche de pedas sad op,2.0
34690,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
34691,  green tea a drink to perk me up ,0.0
34692,i need yur help  hmm ,0.0
34693,yesterday i managed  have the lowest amount of suicidalself hatred centered thoughts but that may be because i said fuck it and i was on my phone all day even at school and for some reason the teachers were ok with that idk why but the all saw me i didnt hide it and  of them have a no phone rule i tried to fit that all in there and just barely got it,3.0
34694,missbushido dont feel too badive been getting the blue screen of death for weeks now poor computer needs to be put down  ,2.0
34695, do i seem brighter amp more colorful ,0.0
34696,irlnomi whoismaryboo i agreebut im trying to say i feel starved of human contact bc depressionsocial anxiety ,2.0
34697,last weeks training   runs  swimone open water and turbo intervals   weather and building sofa ruined the long rides,2.0
34698,mac family guy and a lovely drive with lolo made my night ,0.0
34699,should i wish my ex a happy birthday my ex and i are on good terms despite of the breakup it wasnt a harsh breakup we just couldnt be together because she has depression and she wanted to focus more on herself and that the relationship was overwhelming so we just stayed as friends but the thing is she ghosted me after when i helped her through something and we havent spoke for  months her birthday is around the corner and i dont know if i should wish her a happy birthday i feel like it would be rude if i didnt but i also feel like it would be very awkward if i just pop out of no where and say that ,3.0
34700,desperately required someone to give me a back massage i hurt something serious ,2.0
34701,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
34702,argh ,2.0
34703,jnepo why fml do you miss me that much ,0.0
34704,orcasquall just watched it recently  was pretty awesome to watch it in hd ,0.0
34705,cineandreea cant wait to read it ,0.0
34706,uh oh the storm is here  im gonna cry ah lmfao,2.0
34707,back to work today  ,2.0
34708,i hate performing good afternooni think this probably not exactly what the title implies but youll see what i mean ive finally broken through and made it through the hell that is college and graduated this december i made it out of there with a computer science degree of which i still dont really feel im very good at i dont particularly feel like i excel with anything and i know that my depression definitely has an effect on that ive lost most of the passion that i had for technology about halfway through the program and i dropped out i then worked retail for a few months before deciding that sucked too and i came back to school having just skipped one semester i lost some financial aid i couldnt get it back so i unfortunately had to take out some small relatively speaking loans to make sure i could finish my educationbut here i am a few weeks out of graduation i didnt do a very good job of making sure i had a job lined up immediately after i graduate so i feel stuck like i missed the boat when i look at all the job positions in my city they all say i have to have  years experience in technology ive never touched before even if its a junior position i know its a complaint that is as old as time but i never understood how it felt until im the person sitting here staring at it trying to figure out how to live i know that if i want to make it out here i have to perform and show people that i can be useful and learn the skills necessary to help their company but i just dont want to do to that the thought of being judged by how well i do just sickens me even though im not sure what other metric there would be i want to do well in whatever i do but i feel like i have to fake so much of my life to get myself into a position that is good for methis doesnt even have to be related to software all the things i care about require a performance music art writing all of their value is derived by how well i can perform these things and i dont think i can handle the pressure all the things that i like you have to be obsessive to actually be successful in just one of them and i can barely find the willpower to get up and decide which one i like most in college i had a good position it wasnt related to software at all the key point with it though is that it was easy and i reaped incredible rewards from it but i cant seem to find that out in the real world and part of me is too scared to really jump off the deep end and try and dedicate my life to something different im the classic graduate that doesnt know what to do with their life even though i graduated with a degree that if i had put my work in would be making me a fantastic salary right nowim only  but i feel like ive already missed my chance to be great i dont mean serviceable and i dont mean as if i cant learn something new i just missed the chances i may have had to do something incredible like those kids that dream of being astronauts or incredibly talented worldclass musicians i feel like too much of our life is decided by where we grew up and how we were treated and i never had enough willpower to break free of my own situation and put myself on a course that was destined for greatness instead im horribly average and while i wish i was okay with that im just not cognitive dissonance is terrible and i feel like i have two wildly different people inside of me the manic one that sits in my head that always wants to reach for the stars that is incredibly idealistic fired up and angry with how the world is the other being the depressed kid who would rather stay up all night and not be able to get out of bed at any reasonable time in the morning alone and without purpose,3.0
34709,i hope this illness thing is only a one day thing ive got exams on mon and tues i had to do mitigating circumstances last time ,2.0
34710,bah my internet connection has been off all night thought i was gonna die for a minute thereobviously didnt  ,0.0
34711,rant people who say good vibes only are annoying i feel iike most people struggle with depression or existential issues at least once in their life if not for prolonged periods of time so knowing what its like to be down in he dumps why make it harder for others by having to announce all over social media you have no space in your life for negativity n u want good vibes onky cant yall live your life without making these egostroking announcements congrats youre now in a better place in your life now be a little compassionate to those who are struggling theres also something toxic and repressive about this good vibes only bs its not realistic because humans are humans and will have our ups and downs maybe its a good idea to surround yourself with good people but even good people are susceptible to depression insecurities negativities etc expecting everyone to be strong to make you feel comfortable actually has an adverse effect,3.0
34712,i have been through in major depression in five months so dont make depression as a joke 😭 those in depression are ,1.0
34713,off to call mum and pop before heading to bed  see you in the morning yall  and carla  okay xp see you tomorrow,0.0
34714,rahmuniz i think it was about  here today and its the middle of summer ,2.0
34715,rt khayadlanga according to a dr friend depression is increasing globally by  it will be  most common reason for occupational di,0.0
34716,i am bound to be a loser i suck at everything yet i dont try anything because i dont want to all i do is lay in bed and play videos which im not even good at i wake up in the morning and look forward to nothing if  anything id rather the just wake up it doesnt having to go to highschool every single day its so repetitive and thats the worst part i have friends at school but id rather just be alone i try to work out but i cant even do a proper push up or a pull up and im just a lazy fuck so i deserve to be a weakling anyways i have no self esteem and i feel like crying or just running away everytime someone makes fun of me i have bad anxiety and basically cant even talk or walk right just because im so insecure i cant even ask to go to the bathroom without overthinking it and thinking im gonna voice crack or some shit like that i have basically no interests in anything at all other than video games i am bound to be a loser for the rest of my life so i may aswell just accept it and just lay in bed forever,3.0
34717,sometimes i forget that it not normal to feel the empty and heavy feeling in your chest i dont realize that im not normal and have depression because its consumed me to a point where im used to it i forget that people have groups of friends and people to talk to i forget that most people dont have thoughts of killing themselves im not sure why im so okay with how shitty my mental health and self image is but i also cant care enough to try and be positive,3.0
34718,it is happening here in us especially in illinois where we havent had a state budget for over  days ,0.0
34719,get rid of your of worries cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you   justinbieber,2.0
34720,tiwhitelotus omg i know i cant figure out how to make it work ,2.0
34721,feeling a bit under the weather ,2.0
34722,beating myself so how does anyone with depression make them selves feel better  im curious cuz i wanna feel good cuz i honestly have a really good life  beautiful wife who loves me good job nice home  and at the end of the day tho i still find very little reason to smile and feel like everything is wrong when it truly aint  so whats something you can think of that i can tell myself everyday to kick me out of that low place i call it  ,3.0
34723,bact  quotquot  quotquot  quotquot   ,2.0
34724,wtf what am i who am i i pray for the aclohol to overwhelm my heart and have it seize its activity while i feel blissfully dissasociated from myself im ciurrentyl riding the clouds listening to music that make me feel amazing why is it that alcohol makes me feel so good in cooperation with music it makes me want to cry im so sad and happy at the same time i have no one by my side and yet i feel complete am i ready to take the next step,3.0
34725,i cant stop cutting i know its wrong i know i shouldnti understand its wrong im aware i shouldntthe pain distacts me the pain makes me happyim afraid somone migh t notice the cuts they will see the bruisesi want to cut straight down my armi want to diebuti donti dont want to dieim so damadged too far beyond repair i just need a friend,3.0
34726,i have just been asleep for half an hour suudenly woken up idk why was extremely awake and decided to come on here but now im tired ,2.0
34727,thanks for all the messages yesterday  it was a really tough day and u guys made me feel better ,0.0
34728,going to be a sad night and day tomorrow  love really sucks when its used for pain ,2.0
34729,i would have died  years ago if i didnt find reddit when i was not suicidal  year later i started browsing subreddits i enjoyed and i still do,3.0
34730,sharing my thought process after recovering from a hard few months hello everyonei want to share my last few months with you ive been going through a past few months  since september  psychologically one symptom has been a deeper  depression and a spiked anxietyyou can look up my posts from those times they are not prettyive been going to a psychiatrist once a month since then and a psychologist once a week  im french its cheaper than the usa i guess which most of you are likely fromim taking meds to treat depression and anxietyi go to support groups once a month too and its been helpful but i feel other so called social phobics are a bit negative  twisted view of women for some  and dont look to far  anyways one was apparently sceptic about meds and another about psychologists the leader said we had a different sensibility but no illnessnow what i want to say is that im happier than ever i feel free of my chains anxietydepressiondefianceparanoia recovering from such darkness such terrifying times has been exilarating im not a religious man  but i dont reject the presence of a higher being but i pray to anything that you will be able to overcome depressionwhat helps me is that i know deeply in me that i have an axis to better my life quality  i know people here seem to have depression without feeling any reason for it and i feel sorry and i kinda want to say to them to search deep even if they may get angry at me i found some for me they were evident im a loner  likely autistic thatll be to confirm which over the years made me very socially anxiousinept and helpless emotionally unaware and fearful that people would discover this flaw those past few months i felt like i was in a mental prisonnow ive been able to integrate myself more be confident in myself and others more try to get a positive outlook on life i feel more and more like life is to be savouredmy therapist helps me straigthen things out when im out of touch and im advancing i have my deepest problems in mind  autism  first gt anxiety depression gt defiance  paranoia please respond if you have anything to say  good luck to all  ,3.0
34731,dentist was major ouchie  cant wait for some ice cream ,0.0
34732,boo just got to school n my phone only has one bar left ,2.0
34733,think im going to make my first skillet pie today with rhubarb and cherries was going to put apple in too but wormeyman ate them all ,0.0
34734,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
34735,dling kim bums song im going to meet her now  ,0.0
34736,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
34737,maaaaaaan they booked the wrong gokart track ,2.0
34738,have to need to study more ,2.0
34739,dearienotes   charbrevolution thismomhcn jayjayaah  doctorchristian ,1.0
34740,yiiee jeez id be straight on the tram home  think i have  came in contact with it too   sure feel that way,2.0
34741,my goodness microsofts bing is not too bad ,0.0
34742,cjhatter yayyyyy  i lost my job and place to live on friday i feel like that guy whos parents kicked him out  guess i need to change my,2.0
34743,danbhoy lol theres has to be one person who likes them  chelsea mon everton btw,0.0
34744,im going to vote at european parliament elections ,0.0
34745,off to the beach for a week see ya suckers later ,0.0
34746,myshepherd כן ככה זה עובד ,0.0
34747,kiarastack working saturday  might try change shifts need to get away from that place for a while,2.0
34748,rt  i did a bit of research on open democracys recent history of compassion towards men i believe ive adhered to their commen,0.0
34749,curvyty of course  ill have to be good now tho ,2.0
34750,rt onlinehomo theres a lot of things i can handle heartbreak being broke depression anxiety but cockroaches no sweetie its game,2.0
34751,i am totally geeking out over allearthquakes this is so awesome reawakening my love of seismology ,0.0
34752,yikes dislocated my toe ,2.0
34753,war between army amp taliban in swat has displaced over  people still dealing with that amp now this blast when will this end ,2.0
34754,im slowly dying i cant stop thinking about dying and my life is getting worse and worse im sick of not giving up im just alive because i can and because i can i will even if theres no point,3.0
34755,follow friday mileycyrus  vote  her  mtv awards ,0.0
34756,another reason to be alive  just brought the ticket to a symphony in march  at least ill look forward to that and live another  months,3.0
34757,theycallmes hey nice looking website youve got there i wonder who put together that custom wordpress theme for you ,0.0
34758,im back must have been more than a year but im back suicidal self harming me ,3.0
34759,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
34760,lost  followers today ,2.0
34761,hello i started an apprenticeship in august to become an optician after i already applied for many other jobs and apprenticeships i never wanted to be an optician but i was happy about finally starting to learn something new i thought my depression would come to an end when i finally started to work there and i was happy for the first time since years for a short period of time i had the feeling my life would go back to normal that i would find friends again go out and have fun and i wouldnt just stay home all day doing nothing but browsing the internet for a month i thought i overcame my depressed self but i feel the same now as i felt before my boss and colleagues arent friendly to me either that or im just too afraid of them as i didnt have real contact to people for over  years my grades went from good to bad i have headaches almost every day and i prefer to lay in bed instead of standing up learning for tests and exams gets really difficult as the information just doesnt want to stay in my head i have to read a sentence five times to understand it so it takes me a whole day for something that other people learn for  hours my boss probably regrets it already that she hired me because she noticed im working too slow and i have to ask her things she told me like  minutes agoi had lost over  kg and weigh somewhere under  kg because of my depression before i went working i started to visit the gym together with a friend who recommended it to me hes probably the only one who cares about me as a friend we go out sometimes to drink a beer thats it my relatives say often i need a girlfriend in my life how i cant find friends let alone starting a relationship with someonei was six years old the last time i saw my dad i cant even remember how he looks my mom is an alcoholic and probably also drug addicted i stopped the contact to her the only person who took care about me when i was a child is my grandma and my aunt theyre the only persons who know im depressivebut they dont know how bad it actually is everyday on the way to work im standing on the edge of the subway platform  waiting for my train and wondering why im not just taking one step more to end it the wind the train pushes when it arrives feels really good tho ,3.0
34762,cant wait to chat live with you  ,0.0
34763,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
34764,rt zmajodkosmaja imam breskve kruške lubenicu dinju i babanu ali džabe  kako ja sad da pravim onaj smuti kad nemam ni limetu ni kurku,2.0
34765,i dont know how to handle any of this i suffer from ptsd anxiety which manifests in to hypochondria and depression ive been quite stable and well for the past few years finally but corona has changed everything my father has a compromised immune system my mothers isnt great im quite unhealthy we are all at risk i fear for my life my families life my boyfriend his elderly parents people i dont know everyonei cant escape the news and death and sickness updates everything i see with breaking news or corona virus makes my heart sink and my stomach flip i am constantly sanitizing things to the point that my hand has broken out and ive had a bad eczema flareup if i dont go outside i get horribly depressed but if i go outside or my parents do i get insanely anxious every little pain i or my mom has or a cough i internally panic and worry that i or they have it i am so terrified of all of this ive had horrible pains in my livergallbladder area and i dont even feel safe going to get my blood test and ultrasound done because i dont drive and id have to be in either an uber my fathers car or my boyfriends car i worry ill get infected and infect someone elsei went to the lake today and people were walking their dogs me and another person had this realization that we had to stand  feet away to chat and we shouldnt even pet each others dogs it all hit me like a ton of bricks everything has changed i am terrified that this will never get better i am terrified for when my country inevitably goes in to lockdown i worry that for the rest of our lives this disease will spread and well forever be forced to be on lockdown or quarantine and social distancea redditor called me out on a post earlier for being paranoid with sanitizing and i feel like im going crazy i feel like im terrified but everyone around me seems to be able to make the best of this situation i dont know howwithout physical affection or contact i dont know how to live i am terrified i am anxious i am depressed i am so scared about everything,3.0
34766,how to get into healthy routines i really want to make a change recover and blossom but i dont know howim stuck in horrible routines i cant find motivation to eat clean or take care of myselfi really want this i want to wake up and smile be happy with my surroundings and have a somewhat fulfilling life is there any tips to do the stuff i need to do and keep doing them i dont know how to change  years of shit routinei finally left the house today and had a wonderful day with my friends and someone i love i came home feeling wonderfully tired not the tiredness of me longing to just sleep the days away but the tiredness of i did something today it felt amazing getting into bed after such a good day i slept like a baby which is rarei want to feel this more often make new friends and leave the house but i mainly want to be able to be comfortable by myselfany advice im willing to try anything ,3.0
34767,im not as religious as before but please pray for me or send positive thoughts my way was searching for ways of how to do suicide and i found the most painless wayim scared i might do something do not worry too much i dont have materials and i dont think ill act on it but the thought of me knowing the best way to go is scaring me a littleplease send positive thoughts prayers for those who are religiousthanks,3.0
34768,rt leyvatattoos ya deja ese shipp morra mecabryanmouquetrendy  coders kcamexico ,0.0
34769,morning all i had the most amazing weekend well now its back to work  boo,2.0
34770,yall ever have those days im feeling great and then randomly i feel kinda bad and then somehow the worlds like you wanna feel happy wellllllll fuck youuuuuu and just you lose all motivation and youre friends just kinda act like they all hate you tryna keep a smile but i wish these things wouldnt hit me all at once ive been getting better so thats good yall dont lose hope some days suck but i believe in you,3.0
34771,back to restore mode  starting to restore my iphone,2.0
34772,already miss my love so damn bad ,2.0
34773,and of cousrse robert pattinson won best breakthrough performance male on the mtv movie awards ,2.0
34774,fauxchet sooo sad i missed you dumb work ,2.0
34775,i get the best video ideas late at night when i am tired and i look like crap ,2.0
34776,going downstairs to the deli to get a hameggcheese croissaintfail after all the working out this week ,2.0
34777, when i was young i had severe separation issues and anxiety but i got over it after grade ,2.0
34778,so tired swimming tomorrow ,2.0
34779,my legs are unhappy with me did  yesterday at a  pace on my bicycle im so getting back into shape hehe ,0.0
34780,watching bill and ted waiting for my sunday dinner ,0.0
34781,erwachowski if you stop working once in a while you can come too ,0.0
34782,watchingg the tv andd boreddddd ,2.0
34783,do u follow new york sports check out this new show wwwbigapplechannelcom leave a comment and ill be ur best friend ,0.0
34784,cant go to pax this time ,2.0
34785,hopes that it wont rain tomorrow  ,2.0
34786,mileycyrus cool i voted  times really i hope you win  the climb best song of movie ,0.0
34787, lol  do u got aim ,2.0
34788,donniewahlberg i blieve u  its jus natural  feel sad   passampsoon evrybody will b rockin w nkotb againthe nkotbs  strong ,0.0
34789,halsey can we pls get some info on edmontoncalgary vip ya girl is getting stress hives from all this waiting,2.0
34790,rt shayenjas getting ready ,0.0
34791,riskybusinessmb up comes out tmrw we are supposed to go see it remember  that night at mels mpp hahaa,0.0
34792,dina on second thought not sure if thats what you need ,2.0
34793,rt camsitsdown  spinal cord injury quadriplegic amp reoccurring mental health problems disabledandcute ,2.0
34794,rt rachelyappppp tears anger stress disappointment sleepless nights happiness anxiousness moody time all because of you,0.0
34795,this is awesome twitting with gmail  awesome,0.0
34796,i guess we arent twittering anymore ,2.0
34797,heycassadee i think its a rice cake ,0.0
34798,myinnervixen dont they all just helps you realize thats why hes an ex dont let him get you down youre better than that ,0.0
34799,rt badzachx id rather be happy and irrelevant than famous and sad,1.0
34800,ever feel like life is a big game of pretend i dont even recognize myself anymore but im an expert at pretending everything is ok  no one would ever suspect how close i am to ending it all i was not meant to be here  this is not my world everything hurts so much but that fake smile fools everyone ,3.0
34801,  even at this rate i am considering much better than  indonesia mobile operator speed ,2.0
34802,im ready and drest to go to school but i dont want to ,2.0
34803,cnn giving liz cheney face time ,2.0
34804,just turned  i cant keep going turned  on friday how do i keep going like this depression since about  i see people on here that are much younger anyone around my age going through this,3.0
34805,need advice for school lately i have been extremely unmotivated i have little appetite find it hard to get out of bed sleep too much and have been emotionally drained i try to be happy as best as i can to avoid being problematic with my friends who are also incredibly busy and have their own livesi am in a extremely competitive and intensive program in college but i feel like i am just barely hanging on how do i try and be productive motivated and happy i am really struggling and any advice would be appreciated,3.0
34806,iamjersey i cant believe you went on aim while i was sleeping d fuck time zones ,2.0
34807,this is just sad,1.0
34808,rt kechixoxo deusevola this is why ppl suicide,2.0
34809,morning twitter land its another beautiful day here in australia hope it rains again to be just perfect ,0.0
34810,sick pup i looked at her and said dont you understandi want to sufferi want the cuts on my skinthe burning in the back of my throatim a sick pup who needs to be put downi want to feel the painthe anger and the guiltits all i knowcant you seei am not your musei am your plaguei will break you downtake all that was pureand leave a big black stainright over your heartyour pretty little hearti dont deserve youand you surely dont deserve mei am a moth drawn to the flameand that flame will be my down falli will fly closer and closerday in and day outno matter the burnsthe scares and melting fleshi will fly ever closeruntil one daywhen the flame consumes my tortured wingsturning my suffering into ashesand fueling the flame so you dont have todrawing the next victim closerinto the warm comfort of self destruction​thanks for reading sorry for any grammar issues i purely write as a way to clear my head nothing more just wanted to share it with someone for once,3.0
34811,it is raining hard  i am in my garden office with no umbrella  i want a cup of tea ,2.0
34812,i dont know if i have it in me to live my life i havent even begun my career yet and im already in debt every job wants you to have  years of experience a degree is meaningless im apparently supposed to fight tooth and nail for freelance gigs without even knowing what rates to charge or how to do it properly for years before i can expect to support myself but the thing is im tired fucking exhausted i cant even get myself to devote any time to my hobbies how am i going to manage scraping together a career in my free timemeanwhile ive become numb and dumb and uninteresting im terrified that ive lost my personality and that my boyfriend is only with me out of obligation at this point he has so many goals hes working towards and im scared i wont be able to keep up when i think about trying to pull my life together and the endless effort i just want to die i miss my family my boyfriend has been gone for  days and i just go to work and come home and turn into a zombie feeling intense guilt that im not doing enough or being productive enough when all i want is to dissolve into the couch i dont talk to anyone though im not sure what id have to say,3.0
34813,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
34814,mmmsoup was delish ,0.0
34815,working all day is no fun ,2.0
34816,hugheswb and you wonder why i was apprehensive to drink the beach juice at nassau  ,0.0
34817,rt allieschuler alexa cure my depression,2.0
34818,what am i doing with my life  im a bit lost rn honestly my parents have forced me to go to some new school which i hate i have no friends here despite my consistent efforts i spend my time studying roaming around the school or just hiding in the toilets waiting for the day to be over i study mathematics which i am honestly finding ridiculously easy and this is incredibly boring i dont have a ton of friends from my old school who im still particularly close with i am infatuated with a girl from my old school somebody i have become very close with i admitted my feelings to her very recently and ended up getting completely rejected perhaps i saw her as the only real hope i had at having some form of happiness and her rejection is just showing me how utterly miserable my life is i feel like ive lost her as a friend now too and honestly i dont think i could get over her if i continued our friendship it feels as if nothing will ever end and it just makes me want to end it all,3.0
34819,computer has only been on an hour and it has switched off twice need to book an appointment ,2.0
34820,how to show more humility and let go of resentment so i have had a huge fight with my wife over my health weight loss and generally depressed mood over the fast few months my wife asked me nicely to go to the dr and maybe see a therapist i flatly refused to do so this caused a huge blow out fight that kept recurring for a few weeks after christmas it came down to where my marriage was on the line and i also saw how childish my stance was not to go seek help i have agreed to go and see a therapist and had my initial visit last week and i have been to the dr last week i have this attitude of this sucks about everything deep down i am really glad that i have a chance to fix damage that i have done to my relationship but all that manifests is my anger and resentment i really dont know why the dr i saw said she could feel my bad attitude about being there right from the get go i know this will kill any chance i have at repairing my relationship with my wife and family how can i let it all go and be happy and excited to have this chance i know its something i need to talk to my therapist about but i wont be there again for another week and i know its really putting a hamper on any efforts i am making i just dont know why i am so pissed  i know i really need to be thankful i even have the chance to fix things and let go of the anger over it why am i pissed off i am trying to improve my life,3.0
34821,home from a thelma amp louise style weekendlegged it from a pants yoga retreat and had a city break instead fantastic ,0.0
34822, im fine thanks hope whatevers bothering you will go away soon ,0.0
34823,this is l ,2.0
34824,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,2.0
34825,djenvy oh no hope hes ok ,2.0
34826, good luck with the move pancakesif you need help let me know im off today but work tomorrow  i have cheap labor too,2.0
34827,missing my boyfriend ,2.0
34828, hanging with jon i love ashley,0.0
34829,were not the same any more  i cant stand this ,2.0
34830,veronicaguirre whats the sagitarioussp look like for today ,0.0
34831,mod green pod  quotflat growth is the new growthquot  ,0.0
34832,mrsfiddlesticks excellent  he is on the list now too ,0.0
34833,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
34834,i missed  n  a day whichs long time to wait something ,2.0
34835,i hate college but i also hate my home too i feel so miserable all the time i honestly dont really feel like im able to put my full potential into my classes because of my constant fatigue a lot of people go back home on the weekend but my parents are toxic and make me feel worse whenever i talk to them i havent talked to them since the beginning of this semester this university is my only escape since im poor and i cant get a job because i lack experience that i should already have i didnt have many opportunities as everyone else in high school since i was sheltered from the real world all the time i wanted to try dating again after an emotionally and verbally abusive situation in my past but i feel so unlovable because of my problems and constant rejection i feel like i have already healed but i dont feel like myself anymore its like my personality did a  now after crying and trying to catch up with my work all day while skipping my classes i just feel like things in my life keep becoming worse and worse i hate this so much and i just wanna die nobody knows though because i always try to put a front to avoid fake pity i feel so fucking stuck in this point of life just fuck my life,3.0
34836,jackiebarbosa cool tell me how it is it is on my  tbw list ,0.0
34837,reatlas  clean me,2.0
34838, im great sweetie  how are you x,0.0
34839,ghost ridin on the freeway blood ,0.0
34840,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
34841,air france  be safe meu brasileiros  y french and germans,2.0
34842,vforvermuth no no dont do that ,2.0
34843,jillybaldo mon through thurs for the next  weeks  ,2.0
34844, even polar bears like to cuddle  spending the day at sea world,0.0
34845,  corner hindley and leigh streetlooking for food sushi againreally have to make my own lunches ,2.0
34846,need help forgiving my father im a young man who has been through a lot in life and there are thing so know i need to deal with my father has always hated me for some reason i was always sick and weak and stupid in his eyes i was never enough art piano soccer readingpolitics history everything i was naturally good at he dismissed and didnt allow he physically beat my brothers in front of me yet didnt physically abuse me as much because i learned how to be passive and that if i would keep my mouth shut and agree with whatever he was raging about then i would avoid a beating i ran away from home for days many times to stay out of the house and lived at my brothers house as much as i possibly could so that i could avoid him he forbid me from playing sports didnt allow me to workout always made me feel helpless he would always blame me and my brothers for anything missing in the garage helping my dad with projects around the house always consisted of me getting things thrown at and him raging and yelling about how everything was my fault he threw plates across the room at my brother and one of them stabbed me in the leg when i became a teenager he began to get more confrontational then ever imposing stupid rules and punishing the smallest mistakes with anger btw this is the same guy who claims to be a christian yet is a massive hypocrite and literally is the worst person ive ever encountered at least evil people can acknowledge they are bad but he is right in everything he ever did ripping books out of my hands because my favorite hobby of eating and reading at the same time violated gods rules about orderliness when i asked him what career i should get he said i should clean toilets because im not good at technology then he gets angry when i said that at the dinner table anyway i could write books on this witnessing him try to kill a family member and it all getting swept under the rug as him coming out of himself and just that feeling of helpless terror wanting to do something but being unable to because of fear that made me a prime target for bullies all through out my life because i always froze when confronted and the few times i did fight back i would be almost at tears and i wanted more than anything not to cry one time i did cry my friends laughed at me i even shit my pants one time in kindergarten and came home like that without telling anyone and cleaned myself up because the teacher didnt let me go to the bathroom and i just put my head down and couldnt react i had a girlfriend in  grade and i couldnt talk to her because i was so screwed up im an extrovert but you wouldnt know because im scared to talk to people i feel like i dont bring anything of value to the conversation because of abuse i take shit from everyone at work and work as hard as possible because i feel weak inside when there is any confrontation im afraid one day i might snap and kill somebody if they get aggressive with me and push me over the edge i feel as though i would loose control and pour out all the built up emotions on them i have a car and the newest iphone i got accepted to a college and im finishing senior year with flying colors rn even though i used to have a  gpa i got scholarships and money in the bank my dad is old now and i am bigger than him so he doesnt touch me he only makes fun of me or ignores me  yet i still cant get over the time he barged into the bathroom and beat me with his fists when i was  and i was naked in the shower i wanted so bad to punch him then but i was terrified fuck this post is so all over the place im just ranting,3.0
34847,ims oh gd that is jizz worthy mines going on ebay if thats the case but no one will want it ,2.0
34848,i dont know how to exist my parents have arranged for electroconvulsive therapy and other appointments in  weeks meanwhile i cant bear to go through every present moment i dont have anything to do and anyone to be with and i hate doing anything i havnt killed myself yet and im telling myself that i havnt killed myself yet because im waiting until after the electroshockcan someone take away my pain right now,3.0
34849,last day in california  heading back to michigan tomorrow,2.0
34850,is it possible for depression and anxiety to manifest in mainly physical symptoms with very few or no mental symptoms have others cured extreme fatigue and gastro issues with ssris alone anyone been diagnosed who has primarily physical symptoms rather than mental ive been feeling very fatigued lately with some stomach troubles but all tests came back normal doc suggested maybe i have an anxiety or depression disorder but am not aware of it not sure if its something else difficult to diagnose or if my typical stresses really are something causing need for ssris wanted to see if anyone else had a similar experience ,3.0
34851,chandramoore i wish you were here so we could workout together kynam always has something going on and is too busy to workout with me ,2.0
34852,heading out to a kite festivalbe prepared for twitpics of kites ,0.0
34853,the hass accreditation review looms large amp qicsa is still negotiating the review arrangements  its going to be a long week ,2.0
34854,i cant get wow to work cant find my ds charger the dog made a big mess and my mom doesnt get out of bed anymore yep life is great ,2.0
34855,cesfranca yup so addicted to it right now ,0.0
34856,bout  tek a dive in da poolimma leave my phns  hm  nw  still ah wait pon nikki  bring me sum brain food,0.0
34857,commoncraft finally something good out of a oprah show  yes a bit harsh but i had to say it,0.0
34858,my struggles with mental illness are becoming overwhelming ill preface this by saying im  year old male even without mental illness my life has been incredibly shitty im not from a third world country or anything but ive lived my entire life in poverty experienced homelessness sexual and domestic abuse and extensive bullyingup until recently the only thing i had a problem with was adhd after getting expelled for beating the shit out of a popular bully that was a year older than me in  grade in a fight he started i went to a different school in a different state away from all my friends id had my whole childhoodat this new school i was incessantly bullied after having consistently been the top of my class in everything throughout my whole life i had suddenly lost all motivation my grades went to straight fsso then i went to another school three years later i still didnt have any friends but at this school after two years i met my first girlfriend a stunningly gorgeous girl whom i had a ton in common withsuddenly life became too good to be true but it didnt last long when she left me i was once again friendless and i felt so much more hopeless than before i became obsessed with her even though she no longer cared about me despite never talking to her anymore i constantly thought abouti developed incredibly severe depression and terrible insomnia i would wake up at a random time every day which lead to me dropping out of high schoolthis is where my mental illnesses become a severe problem im naturally an incredibly introverted person even with my closest friends i cant handle being around people for more than an hour unless its a romantic interest before i need to be by myself this is part of why school has always been such an intense struggle for meme having dropped out lead to me never having to be around people and my introversion lead to me being all too comfortable with completely isolating myselfonce human interaction became a minimum i started making things up in my head to satisfy my overwhelming boredomeventually my inner monologue would start changing voices and i began seeing things that werent there  such as a deer downtown that no one else sawmy anxiety became severe if someone starts talking to me now i begin shaking uncontrollablyall of sudden i think everythings a conspiracymy adhd has become insurmountable due to the time ive spent not doing anything im not exaggerating in the slightest when i say that within ten seconds my attention span for any given task has endedonce i was done obsessing over my ex my brain could only replace the hole by moving on to a new obsession this lead to ocd very severe ocdi used to absolutely love reading it was my favorite thing id read for  hours a day k cant do it anymore my ocd forces me to reread every single paragraph over and over to make sure i get every detail and then i immediately forget and have to read it again it takes me four hours to read everythingive also convinced myself that every pole i walk past i have to touch or else my mental stability will weaken even furtherintrusive thoughts are the worst of all though for me the most important thing has always been my identity who i am as an individual ive always known exactly who i am but thats exactly what my ocd is attacking and for whatever reason its making me question who i ami pick one possibility that possibility that once seemed nearly impossible will suddenly seem more and more likely over the course of two weeks and it will drive further and further away from sanity the thought will follow me every second that im not preoccupied its the last thing i think about before i go to sleep it allows me two hours of that in which it invades my nightmares and then its the first thing i think about when i wake up after a very brief slumberafter two weeks that horrifying thought will have nearly brought me to suicide at which i point i think fuck it it if that is who i am so what and then its gone as soon as ive accepted that its a possibility it no longer is one and then i think im okaya few days pass and then another thought that has been slowly building since i abandoned the last one will serve as a replacement this keeps happening over and over and over again and each thought is worse than the last and none of them have been true yet theyre still killing meat this point ive accepted that my cause of death will inevitably be suicide i daydream about not having to exist anymore i just have to let one of these thoughts push me to the limitits bizarre because a year ago i knew exactly who i wanted to be and i had a clear and personal sense of right and wrong i still have that  i just dont know it anymore i only think i know it which means that i really do know it i just think i dont if only i knew now what i knew thenbipolar disorder is something else ive been experiencing but much more rapid than youd expect my mood will rotate back and forth between euphoric happiness and suicidal urges in a matter of seconds then go straight back to happiness oh well,3.0
34859, grade i didnt even know what depression was at that age ,1.0
34860,i tried but failed and now my leg is hurting last year before i tried killing myself i cut my wrists badly and now i visit a therapist once a week and i even agreed to train martial arts with him but after  months where i stopped cutting myself i started it again a few minutes ago but with my leg so i nobody sees it when i am going to training next week i rly tried to let my skin clean but i always had the urge to cut through it just for the reliefing pain and now i can feel how the pain is killing me inside but i cant stop now,3.0
34861,yay doing good on psych finals   not bad at all,0.0
34862,ekibyogami and nerves will get you nowhereyouve hit high grades in practice papers and they are only getting easierso youll be fine ,0.0
34863,mileycyrus   i wish it was sunny here in quotsunny floridaquot but rainy instead   enjoy the sun,2.0
34864,unclejessexo oh no thats a bummer  drag queens are usually so nice and friendly,2.0
34865,girlyghost oh lord just hoping for a happy ending i stress hopingquot though   xxxx,2.0
34866,great weekend with the hubby ,0.0
34867,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
34868,studying for finals   so excited for summer its going to be amazing,2.0
34869,gonna go to bed cos im tired and sad and heaps bored and upset and completely dredding tomorrow ahh  rip charlie we will all remember u,2.0
34870,thinking of things to do i am so bored ,2.0
34871,just arrived in singapore and had a great stay at penang relaxing good weather nice guides and good times  now exploring singapore,0.0
34872,yeah next weekend is gonna be the absolute pitstrying not to think about it but heck im gettin lots done as part of procrastination ,0.0
34873,how do you expect others to love you if you dont love yourself  i hate this saying so much if i could love myself i fucking would ok if i could flip a switch in my brain to love myself then i wouldi dont i hate my life i hate talking to people im just a huge ball of negativity its been my way of thinking for years and everytime i tried to think more positive it just doesnt worki already know people dont love me i never expected others to love me in the first place because im a miserable sad sack of shit who doesnt deserve love in the first place before you say oh you need to make an effort i do i try everyday to take walks do new things or even try small things it never works its like a deep dark cloud in my brain thatll replay over and over and over again in my brain i do make an effort but it just doesnt work i dont truly feel loved i genuinely dont feel loved okay i cant love myself i can only cope with everything and get by day to day hoping for my death,3.0
34874,am i really depressed im not sure if this is the right place to ask this kind of thing but its not really a question or topic i feel that you can just talk to anyone about  years ago two of my closest people stabbed me in the back and i took it really hard it coincided with leaving uni and being thrust into the real world without any real job for that whole year i was basically on auto pilot working a dead end job and basically only left my house to shop and work since then i actually got a job and my career seems to be going okay and steadily upwards but ive pushed almost all of my friends away and only really interact with my family and work colleagues even then my automatic response to being invited out to do something is i cant and end up just going home by myself even tho i feel fairly alright these past two years ive definitely felt different from how i was before the incident its like every day has been slightly overcast instead of fully sunny and its a bit easier for a rain storm to pass through that said i feel fairly okay with my life as it currently is besides the lack of much personal human interaction my mother has said that she thinks im depressed and i should maybe talk to a professional but ive been hesitant to go so far as to agree with her because ive had a couple of other people in my life with depression and what i feel seems like nothing compared to them so going back to my original question would you say im depressed,3.0
34875,nickkkjonasss hey nick hows it goin i lost my job yesterday and need cheering upare u up to the challenge     x x,2.0
34876,wehavebandtwitt hey guys loving the artwork  darren  am off on hols next week so we miss each other yet again ,2.0
34877,is finally back from download  slip knot were the highlight of the event sunday night was a let down no end of festival fireworks ,2.0
34878,pirrofina  bummer well when you come back to the us ill buy you an imaginary drink lol,2.0
34879,cutedesigns ooh thanks will go and read  this will inspire me to carry on trying ,0.0
34880, lets do it sounds genius ugh the bad news is still rolling in too ,2.0
34881,my last message ive had enough im gonna kill myself tonight i isolated myself from the ones i love so my death wont hurt them and hopefully they wont find out im gonna go to the woods and hope nobody finds my body got nothing to lose anymore im fucking done,3.0
34882,i wanna go to the beach ,2.0
34883,still no word from him today ,2.0
34884,outrajuscharmer get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
34885,oww my tongue ,2.0
34886,rise and shine ,0.0
34887,last day of highschool im actually gunna miss this place ,2.0
34888,paigebowers now thats a good pointerr pint ,0.0
34889,got some stuff to clean my car yay ,0.0
34890,rt scarlettmoffatt no wonder the amount of people including myself with social anxiety is increasing feel like i cant even film tv show,0.0
34891,is remembering  years since bob walked the earth ,2.0
34892,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
34893,it is way to early to b up already since ill barely get any sleep tonight ,2.0
34894,i dont know how to go through this life im in terrible situation now so suffering and struggling i fight with my suicide thoughts almost every dayi dont like to share with people about my depression and my feelings because most of people say same things like  things can get better dont  give up on your life  you can go through this because you are strongthat doesnt help me at all eventually i feel bad more they can say those things because its not happening to them i just regret that i shouldnt have told them my feelingspeople can pretend to be nice easy they pretend they like me im tired of being treated bad im tired of being used im not their toy im not living for entertaining people im living just for myself and my son what did i do wrong do i look stupid do i look easy to use for something i hate this world so much i hate everything i wish i could end my life now i dont want to wake up i dont want to feel pain anymore i am hurt enough by people all i feel is no one cares about me seriously i want to be nothing ,3.0
34895,help i have had this issue for the longest time im just turning  in a couple days im in  year of college i feel like no one respects me and they all look down on me i can tell by the way they talk to me they think im just plain stupid because i did the worst out of all of them with my gcses in school i ended up not getting anything over a b yet i have passed them all i am way more practical than i am academic but thats the problem pretty much everyone i hang around with thinks im stupid because i cant memorise things to write on a stupid piece of paper in an exam i admit to be one of those people who dont think before they speak so i do say some stupid things and then a minute later im like nevermind i figured it out people also always call me retarded stupid iq of an orangethey do it so much i second guess myself and think if everyone calls me stupid then i must be this includes my friends and most people i know in general i am also happy and cheerful most of the time the thing is though i know i am smart i learn things quickly and can become good at anything i put my mind to and i am actually pretty bright when im actually paying attention which is rare lol i have been diagnosed with mild autism about  years ago which doesnt help and is probably why i am the way i am most of the time i used to be proud of myself because i can play piano and have taught myself guitar but because of my friends constantly reminding me how stupid i am i have actually really started to believe it and my brain just cant take it anymore  for example today my friend called me stupid for me saying something stupid i admit the thing i said was pretty dumb but its like all the other times i have been called bad names built up inside me and i just keep all my anger inside me and all of it built up to the very breaking point and i just couldnt take it anymore i usually give a slight hm and a grin just to make it look like i wasnt hurtive signed up for some universities  miles from home just so that i can be somewhere where nobody knows who i am so i can invent a new me the thing is that this whole depressed feeling is causing me to have no motivation to keep going with my life i dont do any work in college anymore because i genuinely think im stupid enough to fail it anyway so theres no point trying i cant sleep and i stay in bed watching youtube untill mid afternoon most days because i dont want my day to start id rather my previous day stay finished and the next one to never start at alli used to just laugh at myself and with people when they would call me stupid or dumb because i know i can be kind of slow at times but with how often they call me it they say it rudely and act irritated with me and it actually hurts it stings a lot i hate it because my friends always tell me how i am the  dumb one of the group my self esteem is basically destroyed at this point i want to change and i know you guys will tell me tips like think before you speak but then im afraid i will just end up never speaking to avoid sounding stupid but then i will just come off as plain boring which i dont want either i want to get rid of this image and have people view me as somewhat competent to this world completely ditch and get rid of the dumb label but still be my cool friendly and fun quirky self just without looking so stupid please help me and dont tell me embrace who you are and accept yourself because i am happy with myself the only thing making me feel this way is the whole stupid image because it makes me feel like no one knows the real me and so i feel so fucking alone please tell me how to change and get respect from all of these people who insult me and ditch this terrible label for good once and for all and as much detail on how to do this would be great im posting this expecting absolutely no one to care because no one ever has when i try to tell them but thanks in advance if you do decide to help,3.0
34896,she moved on i guess i have to to she already loves someone else ,2.0
34897,shuaselah my net gf where are you     lol,2.0
34898,  thanks i hope so too,2.0
34899,kristinanne personablecommunicates with staff at all levels amp impressionable  its just that i have seen people ignore them  ,2.0
34900,trentreznor i dont want to get over you always killed me ,2.0
34901,krocklive do you want me to leave you alone ,2.0
34902,rudyhavenstein  they also forget the bankers started the great depression while  million americans ,2.0
34903,justkatestar lol not easy to find ,0.0
34904,caitlinmf unfortunately hes not in the special features ,2.0
34905,its a love story baby just say yes ,0.0
34906,killed my shoulders again at the gym i hope ill be able to lift up my arms tomorrow     shower then off to body english,2.0
34907,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
34908,morning  im shatterd hardly slept and its the little sisters birthday  x,0.0
34909,peterelst theyre doing great peter ,0.0
34910,teamellyn its okay i ate an entire box of tv snacks after having maccas for tea  toot toot heart problems hear i come,2.0
34911,why do i have crippling depression,2.0
34912,relaxing as have no exams today ,0.0
34913,simplebliss yeah i did it really wasnt as hard as everyone seemed to make it out to be i just miss the occasional burger rarely ,0.0
34914,anticlimatic id say youre masturbating too hard ,0.0
34915,missprettybadd   you are pretty bad ,0.0
34916,palabras de la mañana quotwe cant change the world unless we change ourselvesquot so on that note its time to get it together people ,0.0
34917,chillaxin watching southpark  ,0.0
34918,ok so army wives was good now i getta watch my girl kendra new show ,0.0
34919,survey to find correlation between social media and depression hello everyone were working on our mini project which tries to find a correlation between social media and depressionwe look towards implementing it in a working applicationplease fill out this google form if possible please ask some of your friends and family to fill it out aswell we would appreciate varying age groups,3.0
34920,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
34921,hates not being able to control my emotions ,2.0
34922,i want some fruity pebbles ,2.0
34923,i love my family and friends more than anything god bless you all  oh amp cunt tomorrows a quotnew weekquot  time to get our butts in gear p,0.0
34924,uruguay eumagine btw i dont see uruguay here httpwwweumagineeugooglemaphtml   by fedelosa,2.0
34925,not sure how to begin i have been a reddit stalker for a very long timeevery once in a while i come over and read peoples posts hereit comforts me to know i am not alonei have severe anxiety and until this moment i was too scared to even post something on herei feel alone most of the time i am too scared to make mistakes and my jokes really suckthat is what i know for sure about myselfbut i also know i am a responsible fairly intelligent person and i do have something to offerthis post is a bit of a rambling but thanks for hanging aroundi am trying to make myself feel better about myself become more confident not be scared of little things and day by day i feel as if i am getting closer to the person i am supposed to beits a tough road but i know it will be worth it in the end,3.0
34926,my myspace was deleted ,2.0
34927,chilling in the sun and just joined twitter  ,0.0
34928,hating schedule clashes right now free music event workshops and concert on same day as important hsc agriculture vid conference girr ,2.0
34929,im a terrible person whos jealous of his best friend it doesnt matter if anyone reads this i just wanna vent he always tells me about these girls he goes out with and although i dont think he means to he kinda rubs it in my face whenever we talk he recently lost his father to an unspecified illness so ive been doing my best to be there for him but he just tells me he appreciates it and then tells me about the next girl he casually had sex with to cope its at the point where hes not even really being my friend anymore because hes spending so much time with random women he can basically date any girl he wants because hes  hapa whiteasian mix and we live in hawaii he cant even drive but that doesnt matter because of his looks im  and havent even been on a real date with a girl yetits not like im not trying either ive been rejected a lot ive basically given up hope at this point since i have literally  romantic experiencei just wish i could explain it to him but id feel like im just bitching about something that doesnt matter at  years old i feel like ive missed everything like this is just what my life is going to be until i die is it fucked up that im so empty that ive kind of accepted it,3.0
34930, oh please tell hannah we are sorry we didnt send a birthday card   we have a little thing to sendmaybe tomorrow ilylc,2.0
34931,rt kingimbo im a chill person with a lot of anxiety,2.0
34932,bradruggles weve gotten that response at our house too oh the strongwilled child ,0.0
34933,ianmatthewowens lol so hef is old really old but had a blast  when is vegas pride miss u friend xoxo,0.0
34934,calling all android users  please go try voxel fun in the marketplace my friend released it at the weekend amp is looking for feedback ,0.0
34935,rt dismiss its sad how people claim to love and care about you and yet they replace you so quickly,0.0
34936,kishizuka thanks k you know how i roll  hee hee danblank rocks  so excited yes,0.0
34937,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
34938,areandbee  sorry to have missed you guys last night       crazy weather down there   xo,2.0
34939,expo here i come have a fab bank hol weekend everyone ,0.0
34940,i just rewatched the lets not performance on  april and i love everything about it the song the voices the people the stage ,0.0
34941,having a broken hairstraightenes is really pissing me off ,2.0
34942,am going to ask my doctors about antidepressants what should i expect hey redditso ive decided to get myself tested for depression ever since i was about  am  now ive had these feeling of dread and just havent been happy with myself i have talked about these feeling recently with some of my mates and they all think i do have depression this also includes my ex who has tried to get me to go doctors for the last  years so the reason why am posting here is too ask what i should expect from the doctors i live in the uk and what will change if i decided to go on antidepressants any advice would be useful am not very good at sharing my emotions unless am pissed up,3.0
34943,cleobabyra awwwww you did ,0.0
34944,has a cold ,2.0
34945,wishes you well and will be a twitter sabbatical over the summer see you in the fall ,0.0
34946,kelly clarkson was really good on rove ,0.0
34947,reikiawakening ah hes probably already forgotten about it and moved on   would definitely be an issue,0.0
34948,andrewgoldstein just preordered your new album off the deep end been listening to permanent heart on repeat since ,0.0
34949,restructuregirl carolgauld i would have to make the tag cloud upside down so you could read it from your trapeze ,0.0
34950, well you are lucky  i had to work on the floor today and it sucked,2.0
34951,ted comes to india finally to the infy campus in mysore but the registration price is so unindian  ,0.0
34952,im crap at mario kart online ,2.0
34953,headache  dont wanna go to classwanna go to sleepblah at least its friday right,2.0
34954,i want you here with me ,2.0
34955,i actually made myself dinner from scratch its been weeks since ive even thought about it the power of stress amp depression is real 🤭,1.0
34956,raynie thank you so much  haha ive suffered through a few cat moments like that you have my full sympathy,0.0
34957, pm brisk walking on the treadmill releasing the days toxins away ,0.0
34958, bc im still at work ,2.0
34959,love the kardashians sehhxxy bitches ,0.0
34960,purseblog inbelievable     freak accident  hes a young trainer w a wife and  children i think my friend said,2.0
34961,rt drdenisemd as doctors we experience stress and anxiety too thank you drjavahery for your post sharing your human experienc ,2.0
34962,khoi bought my going away cake  ,2.0
34963,im crossing my fingers and hoping that this copy of sims  workslast copy totally bit it hard ,2.0
34964,i want to hook up but i have gas ,2.0
34965,my nice car such a huge buckle ,2.0
34966,cynbalog no problemoi only wish you were coming out to the west coast ,2.0
34967,ive always been the person to ask if your ok but i cant remember the last time someone asked me if i was ok ive had depression for years now never once have i been asked if i was ok i always go out of my way to help people who are also depressed or sad and almost always i make their day better or make them feel wanted but i never get that for me i always make the call to my sad friends to check up on them but i never get that call i get in my truck in the dead of the night to go see a depressed friend but never once have i gotten the knock on my door people know about my depression they just dont seem to care like i care for others i hate it no one wants me,3.0
34968,poor rpattz these crazy fangirls need to let him do his job in peace or hell quit altogether and thatll be a sad day ,2.0
34969,last date of the tour today  anyone going,2.0
34970,otw to cousins engagement party and am not exactly wearing the right dresscode my bad  busy weekend indeed blaahh no likey ,2.0
34971,dont know if i wanna die or not alright so ive thought of committing suicide a few times here and their and well when life gets tough and just wants to drag me down i feel like i wanna end it but then i tell myself that its not time yet to end my life as im still young and feel like i should experience even if i cant really enjoy it that muchdoctors think im not depressed anymore but i just lie to them that im fine so my parents wont worry about me but i dont know what to do i dont wanna die yet but i feel like in the near future i might end it i just dont know anymore sorry if i rambled off too much,3.0
34972,rt  depression and anxiety aint no joke,1.0
34973,esmeeworld i did a choreography for outta here it turned out pretty cool  but im too shy to post it on youtube xdd youre awesome ,0.0
34974,not sure what to do almost a year ago today my father was arrested he was able to get out on bail but after talking to some family i found out he could be facing  years for the crime he wasnt even charged yet but i was devastated i was super upset and just didnt want to do anything except be left alone and stay in my room after i few weeks ive finally started to feel better almost two months later he was in the local newspaper for a dui i live in a small town and i knew that everybody would know very quickly i started to fall back into my depressed state but i got over it this time quicker my dad started becoming a very negative person very quickly he started to go downhill in life and he wasnt the person that every one who knew him as he was never mad at me but more at life in general he would talk about how ending his life would make everything so much easier for him this had a impact on me and i would get upset every time i saw him wondering if this would be the last time i would see him he had attempted suicide about  years before this so i was really concerned about another two months later he was dropping me off at my moms and as we pulled up a cop parked behind him and i went inside and watched from a window they ended up arresting him and tearing everything out of his car there was over  cops at my house which was very unnecessary he was cooperative the whole time this time i forced my self not to cry since all my family was home i ended up going to sleep early and slept about  hours i would come home from school and pretty much sleep the whole time besides a few times i had a school event to go to  at this point i already felt that i wasnt my self anymore and started to just feel empty inside i went to my sisters house out of state for the summer and then i get a text from my friend saying that my dad was on the news he was arrested for money laundering and also obstruction of justice my sister was very upset about this and my grandma who lived out there was also very upset my dads mom i cried my self to sleep that night but never did again after that i just felt more empty inside who was let out again and at this time he still wasnt convicted for any of his crimes he was still going to court for them i had a feeling that i only had a few more months with him so i started going over more often he had even become more negative so after a while i hardly started going over after almost of month of not seeing him i forced my self to go spend the weekend at his house i brought my xbox over and me him and my stepmom played guitar hero almost all night we use to do this a lot when on was younger on a  that they use to have so it made me happy to be able to do this and i had a night where i was just at peace with everything the next day i was in the living room watching tv some time around noon i heard a knock at the door so i went to open it there was four cops at the front door asking if my father was home my heart just kinda dropped but i said im not sure ill go check i knew he was home but just didnt know what to say i went and got my stepmom and she talked to them for about  seconds then went and got my dad as my dad was leaving his room i was taking the dog outside because it was freaking out because people were at the door i walked out back and looked up and there was about another  cops behind the house so i turned around and brought the dog back in my dad had walked out the front door at this time and was being arrested i hid in the bathroom holding the dog at this point i thought the house was going to be swatted since all the cops out back had there assault riffles i was holding onto the dog because she is big and like to run and jump at people so i didnt want them to think the dog was hostile and possibly hurt it after about  minutes of waiting which was unnecessarily long i walked to the living room and looked out the windows and all the cops had left my step mom left the house to go figure out what was happening and i decided to get my stuff together and called my mom to come pick me up and bring me home come to find out he was arrested for the possession of meth and the intent to distribute this was again on the news paper and internet and everyone in my town knew probably the day after the paper went out this time was different then the others i didnt cry at all but i felt completely empty inside and its kinda been like my body just kinda operates by itself almost like im hurting really bad inside but cant show it everyone in my family was struggling with this and then i even had my own family upset with me because i hadnt told them and they didnt find out from me but found out from other family even though i was there this hurt me even more because it was almost like another punch in the face and at that point i just felt like the few people i felt comfortable talking about it with just had gone away he is facing a minimum of  years and thats very unlikely he will be facing the minimum charge about three weeks ago i got a call from my stepmom and found out he was offered a plea deal and would be given only  years and two years for good behavior but the catch was he had to rat out everybody who he worked with which in my opinion he should have since two of the people he was in with was already testifying against him so they could have a suspended sentence she said he sounded like he was gonna take it and i started to feel like i was slowly feeling like my self again i found out a week ago he denied the deal and that feeling had completely gone away i feel more empty than ever and feel like im alone to deal with this i found out in about  weeks how long his sentence will be and i feel like im gonna get a lot worse once he is charged and i know how long im going to loose him for i have no idea what to do and i feel like im barely hanging on but i cant seem to show it and the few times i tried to ask for help i wouldnt go through with it im really afraid of loosing my dad and im afraid that he will kill himself in there hes already on suicide watch i feel hopeless at this point and dont know what to do i feel like im repeating my self but i just feel completely empty and i for some reason cant show that i need help i feel this overwhelming amount of pain inside yet go to school everyday and act like im perfectly fine i doubt anyone will read all of this because of how long this is but if you do thank you ,3.0
34975,i am so excited to work on my day off ,2.0
34976,so  ,2.0
34977,trvsbrkr i want one ticket ,0.0
34978,criminal minds day and holy faster internets batman we upgraded last week ,0.0
34979,i need to sleep but then i wont ,0.0
34980,jontracey  i can only ask cant i  ,0.0
34981,rt  its pretty sad a woman who have a  year resume on the state federal amp international level as progressive in many format,0.0
34982,if i cant post an episode today i might as well sleep now so annoyed with my stupid computer sorry guys ,2.0
34983,tipping point my mate simon just got an iphone and hes a total fuckwit struggled with the sim drawer tho ,0.0
34984,adebud it wont be good luck budbud ,0.0
34985, no jesus thing just how i am  alone and outcast never did well in crowds always too quiet maybe why i love to write,0.0
34986,thanks to  i am no longer hungry to eat lunch ,0.0
34987,skeeterpod  i know  it doesnt seem to like my avatar,2.0
34988,night guys   i miss my wife ,2.0
34989,i feel nothing  but an endless motionless void pressuring my chest i used to have feelings mostly sadness and anger and a great desire to die but for the last  years nothing i feel nothing everything is pointless meaningless and cold maybe im not even alive im a ghost just wandering around convincing myself that im alive maybe thats the reason why i cant end my life ive already done it the thought of it is actually comforting sadly i doubt that it is like that the cats are still around me i would not leave them behind my only friends on this world how could i do such a thing or maybe i took them too they are the sweetest ones im pretty sure wherever we are they are welcomed but what about me if im dead shouldnt it be better or is it my punishment for suicide living my life all over and over again until everything becomes nothing then my cats are not my cats why would they be in an unholy place like that good ones go to good places arent they those thoughts are stealing the air and i dont know what to do,3.0
34990,long day but a good one  order your positive side shirts now  httpwwwpositivesidebigcartelcom   ,0.0
34991,chriscynical aw that is sweet i was glad too i still miss him like crazy  weeks to go ,2.0
34992,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
34993,airtel will sell unlocked iphones i bet the pricing gt  rs  i guess a lower priced macbook would cost same   httpbitlygczwz,0.0
34994,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
34995, our last day at myrtle beach  being silly and showing our quotgrillzquot haha httptinyurlcomozzokz,2.0
34996,bringmepain ooh ill make an effort to catch them on telly then ,0.0
34997,what goes around comes around ,0.0
34998,shaydechelle cant  work til   looks like ill be a home alcoholic again tonight lol,2.0
34999,paulagroenink im fine its a beautiful morning here today ,0.0
35000,relaxing in my hotel room not wanting to go home tomorrow  ,2.0
35001, watch this  hope the antm fans like it ,0.0
35002,i finally understand that i just cant live in this world i have feel so hard the people i trusted most have destroyed me and i am aware that it is my fault i let them ive so hard to pick myself up my family is being supportive bit they dont really know how bad it isi stopped drinking for some months now quite the cigarettes drugs repaired all my relationships with family friends and partner gone to therapy councilling etc and even got a really good joband yet i have decided to kill myself i just cant live this life ive tried but its not for me i was never meant to be born i was a love child i should have died when i was  when i jumped off that balcony but somehow pulled throughim an adult now i feel i am being rational im not under any influence writing this ive decided to save up some money for my daughter and then well diei dont know why im posting here but i just have to say it to bring this into reality the time is coming to stop living this lie of a life,3.0
35003,last exam tomorrow  then bringing the party to aberdeen,0.0
35004,how long does it last hi guys ive currently got depression and i was wondering how long does the leaden paralysis feeling heavy last its next to impossible to exercise because of this,3.0
35005,jazmine said thanks for doing my hair i love u i said no problem good luck at ur tball game ,0.0
35006,crippling depression here we come ,2.0
35007,this summer has not gotten off to a good startat all ,2.0
35008,ddlovato can you come to new zealand  ,0.0
35009,yay subway on its way ,0.0
35010,thatguyfsuatl agreed i havent listened to it in awhile youve inspired me to pull it up on my ipod ,0.0
35011,ddlovato you look quite stunning in red lipstick ,0.0
35012,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
35013,followfriday follow friday maiyab thanks for the ff  have a great weekend brenda  ff followfriday,0.0
35014,coffee and twittering greattits perfect start to day ,0.0
35015,jmmarob youre right it was heartbreaking  i just hope we dont have to wait too long for another ws appearance,2.0
35016,phillyd arghh  heroes isnt out yet here have to wait til i get home lucky prick,2.0
35017,getting back into the grind  wish i was still boarding in tahoe ,2.0
35018,here again  loving life like always quotwhen you are in the biggest mess where do you have to go to your imaginationquot,0.0
35019,didnt sleep last night have to stay up for about  more hours ,2.0
35020,rt calerbahfyc have you heard anxiety by calerbahfyc on soundcloud np ,1.0
35021,panah my pleasure ,0.0
35022,short but strong anybody else feel relatively good one day and feel like absolute shit for just a part of the next day its so bullshit i cant figure out how to deal with these little bursts of feeling generally horrible primarily because they are so short and unpredictable even if they are just for an hour or two it ruins the rest of my day and they have been getting worse as of late i just want to know if theres anyone that delas with this and if they have any remedies,3.0
35023,radio cinderella rerelease of umbrella  so unnecessaryweird feels like a desperate pr attempt to keep rihanna relevant nontragic sad ,2.0
35024,rt daveepena shows how professional cruise is as much as i feel for cavills sad puppy face here cruise was right to tell him no htt,1.0
35025,im kinda in pain cuz my friend kept elbowing me in the stomach last night ,2.0
35026, ahh that makes sense i worked when i changed it back the next morning thank you ,0.0
35027,indoors indoors i guess i cant go outside the whole time of june ,2.0
35028,how do you change the twitter background ,2.0
35029,okay im home soo wats next i know i need to eat but plus im lazy right now ,2.0
35030,going back to sleep ,0.0
35031,such a sad story,2.0
35032,josantos september thats way too long ,2.0
35033,relearning all the things about drawing that id forgotten ,0.0
35034,french plane going to paris is lost over the atlantic o i would be so scaredi wanna go to paris ,2.0
35035,im just now realizing that driving in columbus is going to give me so much anxiety,1.0
35036,trying not to panic  i never thought id say this but i dont want to miss school  my blockmates share the same sentiments,2.0
35037,anyone else gets reminded how ugly he is when he feels beautiful hello guysi was at the dance school today i felt really amazing i managed to meet and actually talk to so many new people i was really happy i also managed to get in pair with a beautiful girl because we are so good at dancing together i would say we are at the top i wanted to share my happiness and told my friends about it however as expected they told me something like she had noone else to choose or you know she only chose you because you  are good at dancing together right and some other things i dont want to sharefew years ago i would laugh at that but since im depressed for so many years and really really anxious about my look it really hurt me and i feel after this wonderful day like shit again thanks for reading it this far have a wonderful day,3.0
35038,ministry of sound tall paul seb fontaine jerome ismaae amp coronas worked well ,0.0
35039,i like korean boyband  and they all younger tan me ,2.0
35040,finally i saw the tvc of smart sandbox feat eraserheads yeah ,0.0
35041,jackielong hey big head  follow me ,0.0
35042,back to reality tomozzz ,2.0
35043,there was no way god was gonna let me be late tday yessss ,0.0
35044,nickimicheaux hope youre feeling ok  are they writing your pregnancy on the show too,0.0
35045,video this is what it feels like to be depressed tonya ingram has written an open letter to her depression ,0.0
35046,scylissynaptic no way man i like  year olds ,0.0
35047,🗣 happy birthday to shesodopee  issa holiday ‼️🍾🍾🍾 we not going out sad this time though 😭,2.0
35048,is crying alone and longing for a lovebut i cant get up wout a carer ,2.0
35049,i hate them and myself how come ,2.0
35050,impalaguy yes pls  i know what u mean my dad don´t want that either ,2.0
35051,mamafunke i was hoping you guys were selling that low shelf sitting on your floor light wood think you said from ikea ,0.0
35052,whitsundays you poor sausage lol  if i could i would send you a pack  but dont think they would enjoy the flight ,2.0
35053,tomorrows not gonna be a good day for me  xo pa,2.0
35054,i am going to quit my job today bit of background info its not a real job i am actually unemployed already i dont get payed a wage i get unemployment benefits und for every hour i am at this work oppertunity i get a very small expense allowence if i dont do this work oppertunity i loose  of my unemployment benefits for  month that is the law in my countryi like going to work because it gives me something to do and i dont stay at home and do nothing but i have one supiror that i can not stand she knows i am diagnosed with depression and i am taking medication once she tells me to call some important people to ask them a favor and tells me to smile when i am on the phone i tell her that i can not do that because i had some pretty bad days at that time and was unable to smile so she asks me again and again i tell her that i can not do that i dont see why i should lie to her i hate it when someone tells me to smile its like they want me to pretend to be happy pretend that everything is finea week passes and the work oppertunity work my coworker is about to expire and this women tells my coworker that they wont be extend the time she can work here because she would need permanent supervision my coworker who has been there for a year and has pretty much run the thing gets quite angry about this she also has mental health issues since she has been there for a year and she did rarely take vacation we get  days per month has  work days left in her contract and  vacation days but after that day she doesnt want to come back for the  remaining days which i totally understand so yesterday my superior told me that my coworker has to come back for the  days she also tells me sometimes to contact my coworker during her vacation to ask about stuff regarding the office i try to avoid this because if i had vacation i wouldnt want to be contacted eitheri had vacation last week for  days and came back on friday we have an event wednesday and i come back on friday and i see a giant box full of postcards with info for the event my supirior calls me  minutes before i usually go home and ask me to distribute a lot of them before i leave she ask me to distribute them to two streets on friday one small and one very big street which would take like at least  minutes i do the small street and i leave because i am done for the day on monday i plan to do the big street but one of my rabbits gets sick on sunday and i have to go to the vet yesterday morning so i get to work a lot later we also have a team meeting and there is not enogh time to distribute the postcards my supiror has even more work for me to do and when i finaly am able to go quite late she tells me to distribute the postcards i say i wont do it because i dont feel so good and am tired and leave i leave very angry at this supiror and think about what to do all evening and todaya few hours ago i made the decision to quit i will be talking to a different supiror soon to tell him i like him and he treats me with alot more respect and listens to what i have to say most of the timejust wanted to rant so i can calm down a bit,3.0
35055,crystalvip why are you so anxious   is it because weve been seperated for so long  ill see you wednesday  be safe flying babyyy,2.0
35056,met sarah dessen and maureen johnson probably the most awesome day ever ,0.0
35057,stroughtonsmith how do u install this please i tried everythingthere are no tutorials or anything i was able to dpkg then nothing ,2.0
35058,does anyone else have issues w macbook pro power cords i love apple but this power cord is falling apart and is only a few months old ,2.0
35059,dont know what to do pushing  running out of savings can only work part time due to visa restrictions alone on a continent with no close family or friends cant find real full time work in my country of origin without moving there but cant afford to move back and hope i will find a job dumped by an incredible girl because my stress and anxiety caused me to act passive aggressively instead of just having a conversation and asserting my feelings  this one is the worst part its all that i can think about and prevents me from getting out of bed on the worst days or from concentrating on anything productive on the best days all i can think about is trying to fix that behavior to somehow unring a bell it all sounds so silly when i write it out but im miserable all day everyday and am only at peace when im asleep suicidal thoughts are increasing in frequency and appeal im seeking some professional help but a few hundred dollars for once a week isnt enough,3.0
35060,temporuns this morning uh i have lost quite a lot of stamina in the last couple of weeks not good ,2.0
35061,clarencehill your rays beat my yankees ,2.0
35062,i never met a woman who fake orgasm upsetted me  random tweet,0.0
35063,lonely no friends from uk hi im  f from birmingham uk i dont have any friends to chat with n hangout i feel low most days and try to keep my mind occupied if anyone wants to be friends online or wants to hangout pm me ,3.0
35064,i just woke up and read the news about tehyung my heart goes out to him and his family i wish him all the best i ,0.0
35065,i feel like my loneliness is incurable i have a normal amount of social interactions with lots of people but i still feel lonely some people tell me that they like me but i still feel lonely i just feel like even though these people talk to me they will never understand how i feel like all these conversations and stuff just seem pointless to me i feel nothing these peoples words seem pointless to me theyre just pretending to understand me because i never trust people and open up to them thus they cant know what they feel like some of them told me to just be yourself and trust people but they dont understand that after all the betrayals i just cant i want someone to comfort me to truly understand how i feel and help me but i myself am an obstacle to that because im just so closed i dont know what to do at this point everything just loses meaning for me dialogues interactions friendships relationships lead to nothing and are alwayd empty im lost im confused i dont know how to deal with this,3.0
35066,alexzawya uxsoup i can not thank you enough for your great support ,2.0
35067,aldrichjc  and getgary have fun with your bad music and bacon grease ,0.0
35068,soldatrenard yes networking thats what well call it ,0.0
35069,im feeling a bit worse as the day goes on  ,2.0
35070,havin a back rashfinally i get to use the com going to be an extra in chatroom chicks tv show  tomorrow in school so excited ,0.0
35071,it is way to fuckin early to be awake ,2.0
35072,gettin a round at the hooch family dinner  taking the kids   on the way to the airport   gparents  the wk ,0.0
35073,encouragement please im not sure if this is okay for this sub  but my wife has severe depression and i need some encouraging words  i feel selfish asking for this but were in month four of her worst bout ever and its taking its toll on me and our three kids  on the plus side  she finally admitted she needs help and has an appointment with a specialist next week,3.0
35074,nicktoohunty i know the double tap trick but i dont like it ,2.0
35075,how stressful is your city learn more about managing stress vwef ,2.0
35076,pains i just feel so alone im an isolated being who no one chooses i try so hard i have no one,3.0
35077,i used to get deeply depressed over things like our removal from nature animals etc now all i really have time to feel depressed about is my situation and that depresses me a lot,3.0
35078,my watch strap pulled a thread and now the knit is unraveling ,2.0
35079,achievement grabbing on banjo amp kazooie  nuts and bolts  so far so good ,0.0
35080,ahhh so tired i want to go sleep but i need to catch up in my classes we only have   days left and a stupid vocab test tomorrow ,2.0
35081,rt nyquills me i struggle with depressiondepression lmao bro dont tell jokes i won that shit easily,1.0
35082,now im craving for taco  bsb,2.0
35083,find the top professionals for online counselling therapy depression stress onlinecounseling,3.0
35084,what i wrote about pain we shouldnt try to be happy because what were really doing is rejecting the pain that helps us to mature this is the reason weve slown down in life because we no longer embrace pain as a good thing for usinstead weve gotten soft and weve given into the lies of happiness and prosperity a picture perfect life that only exists in our dreams we really ought to get back to reality and start seeing life for what it is againi think the true beauty of life lies in the connection that we share with each other when we realize that were all sufferingid rather hurt with you than try to be happy again because if i try to be happy then i would become a useless being unable to empathize and share in compassion with you or anyone else who is hurting insidepersonally ive wasted enough years chasing my own happiness and i realize now that its all a liei had to ask myself this when broken people look at me do they see that im too busy pursuing foolish things like the rest of the world or do they see that im someone who understands what its like to hurtinstead of pursuing our own happiness and wasting our lives we ought to be different again and embrace the pain that helped us to grow in the first placei believe embracing pain is the same thing as embracing ourselves and others like us because were all in the same boatin that sense i can say that we arent really alone we just think we are because weve rejected our own hearts which cries for us to embrace it again ,3.0
35085,tried  make a lasting impressionbut i dont know if it worked ,2.0
35086,rt shonfaye i think rupauls drag race and the contestants have treated ninas mental health problems atrociously,2.0
35087,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
35088,alexalltimelow aww como to brazill alexx ,2.0
35089,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
35090,fabirg well  because it always happens all that i dont want to exactly happen ,2.0
35091,missing work because i just couldnt today today was probably the first time ive ever called in sick to work because i just couldnt handle it anymore   to go into work to be around coworkers of whom i care nothing about  i fake all day to be interested in their jokes  i woke up and everything just seemed so pointless  and not in a passive oh well kind of way  i mean in a very tumultuous upheaval of all the tired  bullshit i cant stop ruminating on the anxiety of continuing to exist while my mind draws further and further abstract conclusionsscenarios of my existence was too much to cover up at work today  the tugging of do i seek help or just oust myselfi sent a bullshit text to my boss to call out sick of something i just have eaten the night before    whats even more bullshit now is that i feel guilty for doing it despite dreading every inch of that place ,3.0
35092,just two short months til this miss becomes a mrs ,0.0
35093,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
35094,bryanaxe thats really the way to go  ,0.0
35095,ill make you wana suicide tbh,2.0
35096,has therapy worked for anyone ive been depressed for  yearsprobably more but i just wouldnt admit to myself that the reason i was a certain way was depression itself for a long time i thought i could fight it tough it out and just live life as normal hoping one day i get better it hasnt now that i more access to healthcare and have actual access to a therapist i definitely want to trybut i feel like with he or she will definitely not care for me and ill just be another person giving them moneyanother forgettable face and so i want to know from you guys if therapy worked for you,3.0
35097,daninespencer lol my mom is also white and she also has a big butt  although i think my butts better shaped than beyos and jlos ,0.0
35098,beyond tiired its  am so gooodnight ,0.0
35099,finding a psych doctor so i was wondering if any sort of websitedatabase exists that can sort psych doctors by what insurance they take if they have eveningweekend hours and maybe what sort of general worldmedical views they have ive been absolutely destroyed with undiagnosed mental health issues since late adolescenceearly adulthood and have only tried the big ssris i think wellbutrin and prozac and maybe one other which did fuck all for me im  not necessarily unsuccessful but definitely unhappy and need to figure this out before i clock myself out my s were stolen from me by my broken brain and if it takes my s too i dont see any reason to keep trucking through thanks in advance reddit ,3.0
35100,sonic run i miss  and  ,2.0
35101,rt iyliasyazwanie she looked so sad i took her out once we were done and her husband didnt even bother to look up so i said encik you,1.0
35102,chilling at home after a long movie marathon with my bestie ,0.0
35103,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
35104,rt nobodyliketear i just realized that today is bana day  years ago we got this precious name it makes me sad that as a bana who has,0.0
35105,deathwishinc please sort out my order in the estore you guys have taken over  without my order even completing ,2.0
35106,does anyone else wish they could just abandon your current life i dont mean suicide ive thought about it of course but what im talking about is different a type of social suicide if you will pack up all my things in a car and just leave drive halfway across the country and start againof course everything sounds like a decent idea until real life kicks in and you realize how stupid it is whats your income where are you going to live youre basically going to be living in your tiny cramped car untilsomething but lets be honest its not just going to make things better it sure sounds good no social obligation no pressure from anyone you know but its not going to just fill the empty void left from years of fuck ups and neglect yet its difficult to not sit and wonder what could be different if i ever did something like that real difficult ,3.0
35107,sometimes goodbye is a second chance ,2.0
35108,ohmydaysitshayz aww hope you get it done  ,0.0
35109,isis not run hhhmmmmm ,2.0
35110,last day at lshs tomorrow ,2.0
35111,julaarielle ouch that really bites ,2.0
35112,ftsk ft sg  whoa oh  i had this song stuck in my head for about  days i lol ,0.0
35113,im falling apart i cant do this i can never remember to take my antidepressants so i can hardly function everything hurts the only person i have is my boyfriend but i already put too much on him and he wouldnt want to hear about all of this i broke a  long year streak of not selfharming i cant stop i want someone to actually want to be my friend and give a shit about me my best friend from high school hates me now her and another girl that bullies me now work at where i do im getting kicked off my college campus because of the coronavirus so im going to have to work with them againi cant fucking breathe im failing my school work im not fucking worth it,3.0
35114,refresh refresh refreshstill nothing ,2.0
35115,gotta take my parker pup to the vet today ,2.0
35116,my kids are scared to death ,2.0
35117, i hope they are  and i have five   five five five leftcan you tell that im excited haha,0.0
35118, im just glad to hear from you  have a great monday,0.0
35119,ahhh too much coffee for teh tummmy ,2.0
35120,i dont live a perfect life nor would i want to but shit i dont live a good one either      every day of my life i tried to be okay put on a mask so that no one knew the pain that was slowly destroying me    growing up my father abandoned me at  got bullied until i was  been through lowincome housing to a country house in the middle of nowhere isolated from society        been social online all my life but when it comes to facetoface interactions im still getting use to it at      though im doing alright there i just need to accept being myself and stop the anxiety      i live in a state that has very odd people didnt see this in the states i grew up in before highschool but these people all act like they are a touch behind society so none of them get along with my personality well some do but not enough that people ask me to hang out all the time       my mother has cancer she could be dying later this year or within the next  years no one is certain      she was in the hospital for  months and it was the most stressful experience of my life im battling my job my manager doesnt give  shits about me but pretends she does but as long as her favorites are taken care of she doesnt give a shit what hours she gives me or my opinion on it       she just throws me on whatever hours she has open but all her favorites get to pick and choose while the rest of us just get dog shit      im in the process of looking for a new job and apartment i have employee housing and its stressful as fuck i have about one actual friend who listens to me but she is going through her own shit and she keeps telling me it doesnt matter that she just wants me to be fine but fuck i feel like i am not helping     i want to help her with her shit but she lives in a different state social online for so long long ago she stuck around        i feel so trapped and confused and i have no one to turn to no one to confide in     i have always wanted to be normal but it feels like i havent caught a break since age    i see so many people living normal lives i feel like a reject broken goods         i dont know what to do   ,3.0
35121,xbeckiiex cool its really good isnt it  x,0.0
35122,does anybody have any idea what time joycell be here cant text her because my phone is stupid ,2.0
35123,its that depression it gets me emotional and it gets hard to think of a time where depression didnt existits actually surprising how fast depression can really actthere may be some days when you feel like youre doing okay but then again deep down youre fearful and youre always questioning yourself if youll feel the same way tomorrow or next weekdepression changes your perspective on life things that use to be fun no longer feel that way no matter how hard you try to do certain things you enjoy its only a matter of time before it no longer satisfies you depression pushes those closest to you away it prevents you from seeing the love and life around you it hurts you so bad to see those around you worrying and feeling sad because of you but theres just nothing that you can do to stop itdepression makes you feel a certain way its that feeling of not wanting to die but just not wanting to livesome days i wish that everything could return back to normal return back to a time where depression did not exist i wish this not only for me but for those that feel the same way because depression is just horrible,3.0
35124,im really sorry for posting so much but im in a suicide hotline right now  more people until i get help i really need help has anyone ever used a text chat suicide hotline what should i say,3.0
35125,rt meanpiastic me just ignoring my responsibilities and allowing depression and anxiety take over my life ,1.0
35126,thats oddhearing good news  thing monday morninghmmm life is fair sumtimes ,0.0
35127,going blind  my eyes hurt so much,2.0
35128,nothing fun in the mail  people say theyll send me something i watch amp wait amp nothing sigh,2.0
35129,ugh where is the sun am going to watch my daughter play soccer in the rain ,2.0
35130,tssexychanel awwww thanks   i needed to remind myself of that,0.0
35131,a little vent i guess im not good at what i love im great at what i hate stress is piling up and im really frustrated i dont think anyone even really likes me anymore im pretty sure im to blame for that at least halfway instead of talking to my friends over the phone i prefer just letting it ring and watching videos while lying on the floor i lack motivation to do well anything i feel apathetic to everything even what i used to enjoy a lot drawing and browsing the internet are my way of escaping and i do it all the time i expect things to always work out for me even if it shouldnt and i want the world to work that way but if course its not going to i procrastinate every day to like  in the nightim not the victim here and i know itim at fault here and i know itit doesnt mean i know how to fix it,3.0
35132,rt brookodile this is not even an exaggeration for people with hardcore social anxiety or depression i legit pop off this hard when i hav,2.0
35133,listening to julian smith on britains got talent the sound of the saxophone is so relaxing ,0.0
35134,bellagoth you were born on the  too awesome ,0.0
35135,vaveros justinehyde amp the quilt is a historic australian quilt the waggaquilt made by depression era housewifes from old suit samples,0.0
35136,i just cant stop feeling like a fuckup why does everything have to keep going wrong,3.0
35137,work work work ,2.0
35138,mmm clean after a nice swim and shower ,0.0
35139,i see the color guard  should be soon ,0.0
35140,julieannbrody ugh i am so jealous you live in california ,0.0
35141,fell in love with heartlesskris allen omg what a great song ,0.0
35142,rt jantakareporter मराठा आरक्षण की आग में फिर सुलगा महाराष्ट्र फेसबुक पोस्ट लिखने के बाद एक और शख्स ने की खुदकुशी via hindijkr marath,2.0
35143,heidimontag ur are the most stunning girl on this planet amp i love you   its skye by the way from australia i called you yesterday,0.0
35144,ddlovato  hope it gets better for you yn,2.0
35145,no ones here to care no comments pls i  see people holding handsh e loves hera nd they love eachothert hen i thinke cho someone there who likes mem y god no ones in the other sidey should i keep tryings anity is lowe nd thisl ike my happiness endedf orgive me,3.0
35146,is that snow ,2.0
35147,so sad seeing good people being sad over someone i know how much it sucks 😖,1.0
35148,my birthday is coming up    i never thought it would end up like this ive always had some people around usually from the circumstances of our same school and same tastes in media i never got invited to anything in the summer i knew that any slight change in the school im attending or what my interests are will completely cut ties with my friends and even when fully anticipating my first friendless birthday it stings like a bitch  even friends you dont see over the summer are friends friends who make plans not involving you while directly in front of you are friends no matter how ingenuine it still feeds my primal need for comradery among peers    i already know the motions my parents will feel pity ill lie to my therapist about who came i get my gifts from the  relatives that remembered on time and ill be out one year older   i miss my fake friends they at least existed,3.0
35149,back home minus a car until tomorrow and feeling rather depressed ,2.0
35150,feeling trapped and going nowhere just got hit by a  fee for getting pulled over with expired tags wiping out all of my savings and it made me realize how little ive accomplished in the past yearim still in the same town at the same university with the same friends only now i have bills to pay bullshit student loan debt making me feel like im paying for nothing never going to get my degreeive got  out of  credits but i feel like ive hit a wall and i cant pass any class whatsoever i have a job that i have to go to to pay bills thats easy boring and soul wrenchingive had more feminine company but it doesnt help any they never want kids or to be with me because of who i am and its just about sex and scratching that itchi feel like i barely have any time to myself and the time that i do have is wasted on the computer doing nothing but watching others lead lives that id want to livei want to leave this small expensive ass town i want to buy up a piece of land and build my home and business on it with a cat cafe i want to chase tornadoes and map the solar system ihave some ideas for apps id like to use but have no idea how to designim wasting my potential and dont know what to do i want to take risks but feel that fortune will stab me in the back the first chance it gets i dont know where to find the money time or knowledge to start any of these things,3.0
35151,any help would be appreciated i went through a though breakup a a couple months ago and im still feeling pretty shit university is taking its toll on my mental health i have a small group of friends which im grateful for at least how do you guys try and keep on pushing how would you recommend for me to cheer up ,3.0
35152,feeling quotfatiguedquot today im already in bed     one blessed sista,2.0
35153,turtlescanrun sounds awesome i wish i had a hammock ,2.0
35154,just woke up sooooo early ,2.0
35155,bye twitter haha im so bored ,2.0
35156,im apathetic and need help ive been depressed for a while and stopped enjoying most things i used to do can hardly play video games on my own anymore its that bad anyway im on the way up got to a therapist and mainly helped to just talk through all my problems also started inviting my friends out and being the one who gets events started and everyone in anyway unlike previous weekends im on my own today due to all my friends being away or having plans already and i need help i have nothing to watch on netflix or hbo and im desperately in need of something really good and grabbing that i can immerse myself in need suggestions anything from documentaries to really cheeky romance flicks work only needs to be good,3.0
35157,loneliness seems to have finally taken its hold on me i just got out of a  year relationship a few months ago and before that i was in an on and off relationship for  years so i havent been single in  years im  years old and i honestly just seem to fall for the girls that dont like me so my dating life is basically nonexistent i have friends but to be honest i really dont feel like they understand me i try to talk to them about it but it normally doesnt make me feel any betteri just feel so damn alone as literally all of my formative years have been spent with a significant other now there are days that i cant get out of bed until like late in the evening but i still sleep way too much i am not insecure about myself i exercise regularly i write my feelings when i get down and my diet isnt great but it isnt terrible either with the occasional depressive snackingim scared that this will lead to some kind of destructive behavior as i seem to be drinking more and just wanna fuck just about any girl that walks my waynot that id actually do anything as im kind of a pansy and not a one night stand kind of guy either way i am missing that physical connection with a woman sometimes when my bestfriend hugs me sometimes i literally feel like crying but i just dont feel like burdening her with my issues as she has a lot of depression issues of her own i just cant seem to get out of my own head lately and i seriously have no motivation to do anything im also starting to have days where at work or school i just get really exhausted and feel like crying out of absolutely nowhere  this makes it hard to do anything well and that just makes everything all the worse i have never had this much of an issue with my depression so now i want to ask for some helpdoes anyone have any tips for me with dealing with this feeling of utter loneliness andor lack of motivation currently crying in my bed at  for absolutely no reason ,3.0
35158,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
35159,thanks mosskat you little star have been offered to come to ja for a weekender but dunno if i can afford to go looking into it now ,0.0
35160,im watching some videoclips omg i love coldplays quotviva la vidaquot  ill listen to quotlostquot  my favorites coldplay song ,0.0
35161,home from my daddys turned in applications today have an interview at miami subs on wednesday  getme twitterbugs mwah,0.0
35162,debbiefletcher you can show this picture to the tom  please i want much that he read what i wrote  xx,2.0
35163,btw i found a four leaf clover today  and a deformed one too,0.0
35164,neptunesalad let me know id gladly play the rabbit ,0.0
35165,i need to make trip to visit you in dc one friday dcbrent if i only had an invitation ,0.0
35166, that not nice mom ,2.0
35167,lilypenelope haha well get along splendidly i take coffee breaks all day long except for now cuz i should sleep  amp merci,0.0
35168,lalavazquez hey la do u have a myspace ,0.0
35169,bargok simple xml parsing for php is a good one or oo best practices ,0.0
35170,going through my planner and making it look like im busy while avoiding the fact that i actually am busynothing will get done today ,2.0
35171,tronikboom not everything but alot of things    boo,0.0
35172, im so bummed tix sold out too fast so i dont get to see you this tour ,2.0
35173,oh noes  im out of lortab    sad times,2.0
35174,i dont care i just dont know anymore i have what i think is a good life but i just dont care i have no motivation to continue doing anything and all it does is hurt the ones around me i want things to be better but i dont feel like doing anything to make them better which just makes it worse,3.0
35175,my bubbaloo is not well today  he started the day singing now he is sad poor guy,2.0
35176,hurt burned disappointed literally everyone who ever loved me had a rough interaction with a friend today realized that literally every person in my life who cares about me i have hurtanyone who has ever seen good in me i have burned my parents my siblings my family my close friends my sos they stop taking me seriously they grow to hate me i stop talking to them i stop returning calls i grow to dislike them i take what i want from people i suck them dry then i move on in the end im left with nothingyet i dont think any one of these people have really cared about me i dont feel ive ever had anyone in my life who has been an advocate for mei think their love is more affection than actual understanding im entertaining to be around i have a knack for making people laugh and feel at easei will feel other peoples pain if it helps me understand what theyre going through its something i am good at i dont think anyone i know would do that for me i also wouldnt want anyone to feel what i feel so i push them awayi wish i could feel the type of love i give other people,3.0
35177,rt broken dont like the way i deal with my depression dial ,0.0
35178,causes of panicanxiety attacks,1.0
35179,is in la im twittering but nobody is following me so it doesnt really matter awww man ,2.0
35180,walking to school the sky is so blue  too bad its not friday ,2.0
35181,davidarchie tommcfly twitted youjust fyi ,0.0
35182, hello my name is nadia and i am addicted to twitter   ,0.0
35183,zelciia hahah no silly indonesia is part of austrailia whats a singapore ,0.0
35184,ifyoucdenise your life ,0.0
35185,cherries are underrated in the fruit kingdom   fuckyeah cherriespwn,0.0
35186,i liked a youtube video  nell  separation anxiety eng rom han,1.0
35187,depressed gf doesnt want me to care for her little background gf and i have been dating ldr for a year things have been amazing we get a long really well sometimes her depression hits and she mentioned before she doesnt want to hurt me or bring me down is it normal then for her to say dont care for me is this strictly because shes worried about dragging me down yesterday she kept saying she loves me so much and sees a future with me then says stuff like that i kept reassuring her that ill care no matter what and that she isnt dragging me down because id never give up on someone whod never give up on me thoughts,3.0
35188,royalboi haha if you let me i can ,0.0
35189,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
35190,work blew chunks but what else is new prosleeper thanks for calling me back at work you made me cheery ,0.0
35191,themarysue its sad that the bigfoot porn community has been infiltrated by republicans,2.0
35192,ps i found two plaid shirts on hoh one me them being purple  ahh i love rosemary,0.0
35193,  skate canada entries just made my day so much better ,0.0
35194,tiffizhere i agree with your quotarguing with stupid peoplequot tweet  some people just dont get it  ,2.0
35195,workin on this hot ass day ,2.0
35196,crazedwriter as a christian it is very frustrating to know that many people think were all like that ,2.0
35197,cotieno i walked out chose to be the bigger man  not sure about tomorrow though not sure,0.0
35198,theprovince incredibly sad story,2.0
35199,wonders is there something wrong with you  ,2.0
35200,i dont know what to do how old where you when you got depression at age  i got depressed from being bullied at school in third grade  when i was  i were ready to leave home and never come back but i decided not to go because of my little brother  im  now i cant tell am i depressed or not sometimes i fell grate like i could do anything beat anybody back of my mind i know its not true sometimes im thinking what a failure i am and sometimes ending it all is it normal to get depression at this age,3.0
35201,i feel like a failure this is long im sorry but i really need some advice i was first going for nursing but i failed stats twice and im retaking it again the next semester my chances of getting into nursing are low at my school the whole point of college was to be in the medical field gain experience and progress into becoming a doctor my father got sick and is now paralyzed my mother is old and cant work i try to balance out work and school and budgeting to help my family out but i feel like no matter how hard i try things dont change i talk to my mom about my thoughts and how i feel like a failure but she tells me to suck it up and stop bullshitting around she thinks im just wasting time not knowing what i want  to do i guess she thinks its easy i feel so depressed there are times i just want to give up i have a panic disorder that got worse and im trying to manage it my mom compares me to my cousin whos  and becoming a nurse im  and i feel like a failure because she says things like  dont tell them you didnt make it into the program theyre going to laugh at you or  your aunt told me your cousin is graduating shes trying to belittle me because you havent graduated i cried the other night because i realized my mom sees me as a trophy and not a daughter im not even sure if i was born out of love or to take care of my parents when they are old i always get compared  my dad makes fun of my weight my mom compares me all the time to everyone around her i barely see my brother and the bf i have isnt motivated no matter how much i try to help him outwhen i got raped in   my mom helped me get through it but recently she brings it up mid argument like  you put yourself in that situation and i still helped you feel better or remember when they raped you do you want it to happen again dont come crying when it happens to you because of your behavior  i got xanax crushed in my drink by a girl i thought was my friend the guys i brought to my home and i considered family did this to me on new years eveits another reason why i dont like christmas or new years i didnt want to press charges i wanted the situation to disappear they filmed it and put it on snap then they took it down my mom confuses me so much because i cant tell if she loves me or shes just angry she can be so sweet sometimes and im so confused when shes not other than that im thinking of switching to biology but im not sure what jobs i can land after a bachelors any bio majors out there who have made it through well maybe some other suggestions thatll keep me in the medical field i just need some advice i need someone to tell me it will be okay,3.0
35202,lyssasmommy but why is it reopened again when everything checked out last year its just weird its happening  the same time yano ,2.0
35203,life is beautiful  anyone who follows me wanna talk just message always looking to talk to new people ,0.0
35204,sixxcc shit ,2.0
35205,last day at oak grove until next school year  im going to miss all the people i work with,2.0
35206,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
35207,i dont know who else to turn to its  am while im writing this and i honestly should be asleep but gosh i feel horrible apologies if this is incoherent in any way anyways on account ofa multitude of reasons i never really had irl friends however that changed within the past year as i started consistently hanging around a group of people i enjoy we have a group chat and we talk regularly its been the first time in my life ive experienced this tbh its really exciting to mewithin the past month things really started getting tough in terms of family drama relationship stuff and my mental health i didnt know who else to turn to so i turned to them and poured my heart out about my trauma and my depressiona little too muchand now i feel like im being a burden to them also i dont get along w one member of the group which complicates things and is stressing my relationship w the group further lol but idk who else to turn to once again and i cant get a therapist its extremely complicated why and id rather not explain the logisticsim really sleepy this is batshit incoherent and im very upset i dont know why im posting here i dont even know if anyone can give me advice and i dont think i even want advice or anythings gonna help muchbut i just wanna feel a little less alone thank you for reading if you read this far and i hope your day is better than mine 💝 ill delete this in the morning when i feel better i just wanted this off my chest,3.0
35208,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
35209, my deepest condolences to kth and his family losing someone is smth i experienced this year too and i h ,1.0
35210,wants the jonasbrothers album ,0.0
35211,holliesargeant i knw they got up and left probs cz we were soo annoying and loud geez they really woulda hated us ,2.0
35212,peterfacinelli i totally believe you will win this bet  you still have days left,0.0
35213,the weekend is kind of losing its charm as everyday feels like a weekend now not that im complaining ,0.0
35214,underestimated the tenacity of his newly acquired stomach quotfriendsquot and is postponing the trip to la  ,2.0
35215,gypsytrading ,0.0
35216,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
35217,is still rooting for orlando magics  ,0.0
35218,ps bgt was both fab and sad i thought greg was awesome sad hes gone but a child will always win in that situation sadly ,2.0
35219,i wish i could get my nails done like i used to ,2.0
35220, if i stay in this program i only get  ,2.0
35221,complete and total failure it took me ten minutes to figure out how to post not first time posting  just completely and totally immersed in my depression i have a beautiful family my husband and all my kids are healthy and beautiful im not deserving i had no patience this weekend i was rude and hateful i hate me i love my kids and husband so much but i hate me i listen to podcasts on motivation i read self help books i am subscribed to get motivated and it all sounds great i have so many plans and things at night before bed but then all my motivation and drive dwindles as soon as my feet hit the ground i just want to sleep ,3.0
35222,pornstarfansite thanks for the hot greetings  we are fine hope you are too lets get naked sometime ,0.0
35223,thankz  all my new follows  followin me much luv ,0.0
35224,dvampyrlestat cant wait  c your lj layout  i was gng   post last week n my lj abt quotlegends of d fallquot yeah watched it finally,0.0
35225,helped out an old friend in need tonight made me feel good she needed it bad shit goin on in her lifei kept her laughing for  ,0.0
35226,overcoming job interview anxiety reduce stress amp get hired couponfree   coupon,2.0
35227,still awake working on my paper ,2.0
35228,best part about magfestty evan sulli and the monkey when did it get so lame lol at taco casa with beth diet coke ,0.0
35229,i miss my boyfriend ,2.0
35230,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
35231,just waking up i feel like shit my head is pounding  i wonder how brandon and the others feel lol,2.0
35232,teeravioli haha that didnt work either ,2.0
35233,jonas brothers are a trending topic awesome ,0.0
35234,i just realized i left my blanket at lyssas  nights all,2.0
35235,idk what was in that starbucks protein frapp but im fucked up rn 🤡im going crazy 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 anxiety up the roof,2.0
35236,a genetic freak who is severely depressed i am nothing more than a bad joke my body is the definition of a monster fat face big nose extremely skinny and more importantly very short  my parents refuse to pay for my growth hormones treatment because it was too expensive everyone bullies for my stature including my brothers i have never had a girlfriend virgin never been kissed used for attention manipulated and often ridiculed by big fellas my parents are poor and with brother going to university life is even shittier as they have to pay for his studies they wont give me the money to cure my physical disability and i couldnt acquire it few hours ago i told my mother i hated her for having me and i dont regret it at all ,3.0
35237,should i go to the mental hospital   i am a minor my mom would be the one taking me so i dont want to waste anyones time especially since she has a job i was hospitalized  time in august of  for  days i got a therapist afterwards i quit therapy in december   my therapist moved states so i can no longer see her i really dont have enough motivation to write a lot so ill just keep it as a list  sorry my depression has gotten a lot worse my mom tells me to do something amp i want to but i just cant get up to do it i sleep all day and all night sometimes i stay up late but its rarei cant do basic social tasks due to anxiety my work at school has really suffered because of this i cant ask my teachers or peers for helpive relapsed on sh off and on these past few months i relapsed last nightim not going through with it but im sucidal and have the ideas of a plan im sad unless im talking to my friendsive been zoning out really bad i was on a bus for  and sat on the bus doing nothing but looking out the window for  until i got homei keep thinking about doing irrational things i cut my hair off after growing it out for  after seeing a short haircut i liked on the same day with this i also keep thinking abt what if i jumped down the stairs or shit like that stuff that shouldnt be done im just tired of it being like this i feel like shit and even worse like a burden i just want to get better for everyone else everyone else has to deal with my shit and it aint fair i just dont know if a mental hospital is the right thing,3.0
35238,kkateface  they are so close yet so far away  next tour for sure,2.0
35239,there are people out there  i recently shared to my friend the way my life was going how my parents have been calling me a failurehow my parents are always fighting about me  howpeople stab me in the back and my thoughts of killing myself it does get better if you let people that care about you and that are there for you how you feeland a month ago i was planning my suicide it hasnt left completely i still think about it i still wonder if they would be better of witg me dead sometimes my brain keeps me up late until the night with a giant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach thinking about this and sometimes i just want to tell the voice in my head to fuck off but it isnt a voice its my voice,3.0
35240,court ruled against me i can not file a restraining order against my twitter followers ,2.0
35241,charmingsam i need a tv in my craft room ,2.0
35242,quotpayback pain pie remember the planquot hahaha ,0.0
35243,bloated as fuck  choc milk will do that followed by  bagels with spinach and cheese ,2.0
35244,susan boyle is a winner anyway ,0.0
35245,dont feel sad over someone who gave up on you feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them,1.0
35246,sabrinablanks it does ,2.0
35247,monday ,2.0
35248, songs a little different than what were used to from youbut im feelin it ,0.0
35249,donniewahlberg i was just watching vids of u on youtube  u have gotten better with age dollface bummed no ft this time around  twugs xx,2.0
35250,fseballos sad ,0.0
35251,read something really disturbing in the local papers this am about  whales that beached themselves in the cape had to be euthanised ,2.0
35252,today is the first day in perhaps  years i dont want to play video games this disease had taken everything else already my motivation my quick wit my bright future if i could do nothing to make my life better i could at least find some joy in wasting away hours in front of the screen today i cannot bring myself to play anything the games give me no excitement and when i force myself to play a little they instead only make me frustrated and angry thats it thats the last thing all i have left is lying in bed until its time to go to bed,3.0
35253,being depressed while having a good life is hard i dont really know why im depressed why do i lay on my bed all day and just do nothing idk why do i feep emotionally empty all the time idkeverytime i open up to my friends bout depression they just kinda say why r u depressed ur perfect perfect family perfect education high grades look i dont know okay i too beat myself up for having no reason to be depressed now i just subtly filter my depression through jokes as a way of coping i suppose i wish they understand that im not depressed for the sake of being depressed but im depressed because im ill,3.0
35254,on iphone  im gonna like tweet its like a website full of myspace status updates  and i like it  ,0.0
35255,tmana agree its a good idea  separate work  personal accts on social media but the ap policy does seem  apply  personal profiles ,2.0
35256,domdotcom i really do tho ,2.0
35257,my blokia is death ,2.0
35258,just giggled remembering one of the judges asked if he should wear a tux  i hope he does  imaginecup ,0.0
35259,danamitchell eff you ,2.0
35260,great just seen weather severe warning heavy thundery showers tonight not happy ,2.0
35261,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
35262,xoxojizni  pero i got jealous taecyeon kissed the girl  wahhh,2.0
35263,leenuhvfc i think moms are like that coz my mom too and my dad as wellwhen i wake up theyre gonna shout at me  ughh,2.0
35264,rt poeticaliylost anxiety sucks not being able to explain how you feel to people around you sucks,0.0
35265,is at kumori with al and cat arterbizzle i see you ,0.0
35266,at ra training then fasa fiesta really excited to see my parents today ,0.0
35267,everyone forgets my birthday its about to be  years now for the past almost  years almost everyone has forgotten my birthday at first it was all my friends and even my best friends but last year even my grandparents forgot none of these people even wished me a happy birthday my brothers birthday is a month before mine yet everyone always seems to remember his my birthday is coming up in a few days and i just hope this year is better,3.0
35268,snobscrilla its on you  tie breaker,0.0
35269,off to workalways wanted to know what a heat stroke feels like s lets hope the forecasted hail and thunder storms are here in time ,2.0
35270,rt brittapplegate listen a job can lead to depression anxiety all of that your health comes first notalwaysworthit ,2.0
35271,rt swizzywrightt maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too,1.0
35272,ok really got to go now ,2.0
35273,sckrub pkmntiana pallettownkanto and thats being said from a person with social anxiety p,2.0
35274,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
35275,yes charlott i love you too ,0.0
35276,i have to go to the bathroom but i just painted my nailssssss ,2.0
35277,rt thegooglefactz art against depression ,2.0
35278,there was a spider on my shoe when i took it out of my car now im afraid to get in my car ,2.0
35279,junkfoodtees thanks for putting me in your follow friday  xxxx via chloethelwell  youre welcome  ,0.0
35280,why the fuck are girls so mean im  and it has been three fucking years since my break up i shouldnt be crying over her i miss having someone to hold im not an emotional guy but with my depression i cant help itif a chick wants some love all she need to do is post a selfie guys just flock to them even if the is there just for sex its still a form of love i cant do that no one wants an unatractive sack of shit like methe only reason im alive is because of all promises ive madei regret agreeing to them honestly to me agreeing to a promis like that is torture no dont want to kill my self over her i like to thing ive been through a lotat im not sure how old i was but i was raped by my older sister it happened alot i was too young to be honest i didint know what was happening around  i realized what she was doing and it stopped i hate her i dont like drama or cops so im not reporting it i know other people have had it way worse but it still hurtsim okay now though im in college i dont have to live with her any more now im just lonely in desperate need for someone to love or even a hug,3.0
35281,ddlovato what btw you shoudl tour with mcfly soem time taht woudl be amazing  xx,0.0
35282,best practices for working with depression my boss recently found out i have depression and asked for some best practices for how we can manage the employeeemployer relationship its a webbased small company and i work remotely i cant really think of anything other than just taking sick days when i feel im not able to function but i wanted to see if anybody in this sub had ideasthanks,3.0
35283,wellbutrin  helping me but causing side effects i have been using wellbutrin for three weeks and it has really been helping me with depressionfocusmotivation however a few hours ago my heart rate spiked up nowhere and my resting heart rate is about  bpm my chest feels tight as well is the wellbutrin causing this if so will this side effect fade away this medication is helping me so it would suck for me to have to discontinue it,3.0
35284,on my way back from the airport  i need sleep im exhausted,2.0
35285,jwjohn  you are so kind thank you for your support all went well today ,0.0
35286,why am i like this i feel this constant feeling of nobody wanting to he near me and i dont feel happy with myself and rather than be supportive my parents accused me of doing drugs because im too tired to be myself anymore i just want to sleep and i feel so alone all the time,3.0
35287,went to maccas for a strawberry milkshake and they had none left ,2.0
35288,rt fourthventricle mental health conceptualization and resilience factors in the kalasha youth an indigenous ethnic and religious minori,0.0
35289,chicagodiane nice i think my soccer team as a kid was called the yellow team ,0.0
35290,old gym  lots of little girls  a very long day yeah for cheerleading camp ,2.0
35291,jesatm im sad i couldnt be there as well  you guys should come to the high praise concert friday evening,2.0
35292,candies in cakes with the candles i like it ,0.0
35293,going to bed ,2.0
35294,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
35295,rt iyliasyazwanie with me so he could wait at the car i was about to combust his wife was so embarrassed and sad i could feel my heart b,1.0
35296,rt wiscontext a therapist hired by the wausaupd will help provide mental health services to crime victims via wprnews ,0.0
35297,watching beetlejuice ha ,0.0
35298,alxaustn lol wow thats big dreamhampton is a hero of mine so thats amazing that youd say that thanks ,0.0
35299,does anyone else feel happy but still want to die at the same time ive been on zoloft for over a year now and ive never been more social and outgoing ive been doing well at work and going to the gym frequently ive gotten back into reading and for the most part im generally happy but when i lay down at night i still cant escape the thought of rather being dead or dying i feel overwhelming alone,3.0
35300,jacquies i need  ,2.0
35301,start another long weekyay for weekendswait its not here yet ,2.0
35302,rt johnesmithwick  i miss the hideout   is it true that all patrons miss ho until their next visit again amp again,2.0
35303,dianavickers your such an amazing singer i love the style of your music  x,0.0
35304,whoop ibiza in july i cant wait ,0.0
35305,have to sell my coldplay tickets  lower bowl text me at  if you want them lower bowl seats,2.0
35306,joshmillard leavittalone bibliogrrl thats sad,2.0
35307,ugggh i wanna go back to sleep soo badwork allllllllllllllllllllll day ,2.0
35308,very thankful for chocolate fudge cake a glass of cold milk and a shared fork ,0.0
35309,is feeling very sick  want to get in bed but have so much i must do,2.0
35310,jltupperware good luck on becoming qualified ,0.0
35311, so boredd been inside all daч just mч luck for the weather to be good when im ill     hopefullч im better ,2.0
35312,pembsdave builders have startedhome is currently a hell hole and im about  lose power in the next hour for the afternoon  reading time,2.0
35313,brauron thanks so much for the followfriday ,0.0
35314,were watching an asian film today i feel at home ,0.0
35315,one of my guinea pigs died and i cant help but blame myself for it she had only just turned  she was born in may  and died today june she had always been a very small and petite one the submissive part of her sister who was bossy an energetic though she was gentle and never bit anyone very kind if carefulbut then she got worse she wouldnt eat or drink i took her to a vet last wednesday and they provided me with critical care as well as painkillers to sustain her needs i had religiously followed their instructions feeding her through a needlefree syringe as well as giving her water and manually pressed orange juice freshly so without any weird ingredients to provide her c vitaminsbut it just wasnt enough i saw her take her final breaths in my embrace rhythmically opening her mouth to get air into her lungs i cant help but feel i might have been responsible for her suffocating maybe by giving her too much cc at a time but she had managed it before so i didnt think it would pose a problem much less a fatal onelast thing i heard her do was cough then i saw her eyes getting less responsive until finally just staying open lifelessi feel it was my fault i shouldve noticed the signs that she wasnt feeling well and taken action earlier i shouldve kept a closer tab on her because of that im responsible for taking a lifei cant take this i already hate myself enough why did this have to happen my tears just wont quiti still love you jasmine i always will even though it was probably because of me you didnt live long enough to fully experience my love im gonna miss you,3.0
35316,i miss my canby friends ,2.0
35317,anyone else feels rotten to the core theres no other way to describe it i feel spoiled dirty rotten even when things are better even while im on good meds i still feel like shit no matter how i try to cover it i think ill always be rotting ,3.0
35318,i dont belong here i want to die i want to disappear i want to kill myself i want to be kill i dont want to be here i want to disappear i want to stop the pain just let me go kill me off make me disappear make everyone forget about my existence just disappear disappear and stop the pain,3.0
35319,ugh my mom wont make me hot dogs for lunch ,2.0
35320,does anyone know how to hide negative emotions some days i want to kill myself right then and there but i have to go to work and live life and i dont know why but im terrible at hiding my negative emotions people see my face and instantly know i feel like shit and i can feel myself speaking to people coldly even at work when im serving customers im horrible at customer service but i need this job i feel like its really rude but i cant help it it seems like a lot of people just know how to hide when theyre sad or upset or at least they just end up seeming more quiet than usual does anyone else struggle with this if so how were you able to get better at hiding it im posting this here because depression makes me very tired all the time and sad a lot i thought maybe fellow depression sufferers could relate,3.0
35321,oh dear stocktake this week starting tomorrow for me at target  targetaustralia yes they have a twitter haha so not following,2.0
35322,katdixon thank you  i should be in labs but ive had a particularly spectacular headache this morning hmm,0.0
35323, o woow that movie was on fx i dvred it but the last  mins if the movie got cut off after the timer ,2.0
35324,emadeezy swurdin is death till the weekend due to moving activities ,0.0
35325,tempetornado  ahh okay   well i hope you did well anyway,0.0
35326,beyondanydoubt he just said some things to claire that kinda hurt her feelings ,2.0
35327,just got home from the bar so much fun got a few free shots for my birthday  going to crash now goodnight,0.0
35328,lorimoreno followfriday grtngs and to all people actually on my screen ,0.0
35329, oh i was there barrier lined up from the morning met them was such a good day ,0.0
35330,tjslater mad props for tng dude ,0.0
35331,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
35332,mssexay i wish i could ,2.0
35333,i wouldnt have it any other way ,0.0
35334,guess im not going to bed tonight lol ,2.0
35335,kyloalani goldsborobooks sabaatahir nope definitely not an on the clock read 😂 i think ill wait for evening whe ,0.0
35336,trying to publish my new pomodoro app but clickonce applications seems to dislike my resources ,2.0
35337,mañana regreso a la universidad mañana comienzo clases mañana comienzo lo que había decidido dejar mi zen se derrumba mierda anxiety,2.0
35338,just woke up with my lip all swollen wtf i look like a jenny saville painting ,2.0
35339,i think jasonmraz is haunting me coz everywhere i go hes there malls cafe shops airports toilets lift hotels u name it ,0.0
35340,waisybabu well i will leave when the match begins i dont have tv in my room  pakcricket,2.0
35341,gonna write down all these questions now and ill make an answer video tomorrow  any last minute ones,0.0
35342,rt courtritt i dont like seeing my friends sad it makes me sad and being sad makes me madand people dont like me once i get mad,1.0
35343,funkifythegroov awww a sentiment ive felt many a times hope it works out ,2.0
35344,rt joeyginz rip corner hero the best thing that ever happened to me and to this town this is the worst day of my life might have an an,1.0
35345,ihatecrayons good luck ,0.0
35346,i feel a bit enslaved in this world its like i dont know what im doing here whats the point of my existencethe only thing that makes me feel free is mat maybe i should read a booki mean in everyday there is a little time i think my life isnt pointlesseach time i think o balamced everything in my life money sport studies something goes wrongtheres no one that understands mewhat the hell to do,3.0
35347,jerseybomb juxx got bakk from jamaica it was fun next tiime come wiith me lo jessy really thinks nobdoy goin ,2.0
35348,markseesyou lucky u were sober for once lol jks ive never been rbted ,2.0
35349,cezzab some jokes are so rubbish you have to laugh like whats brown and sticky a stick i have millions but ill shut up now ,0.0
35350,maybe is should sell some of my yarn no way on hell ill ever have time to knit it all ,2.0
35351,i can honestly say ive never been happier to get a test over with in my entiiiiiire life woo ,0.0
35352,back to work day for pupils amp teachers in bradford  couldnt be nicer really possibly a degree or so warmer but not whinging ,0.0
35353,got  booked off work  days of glorious relaxation ,0.0
35354,is locked in the editing room bacon  new episode soon,0.0
35355,what is wrong with tweetdeck not posting urls ,2.0
35356,lost my job again just recieved an email saying i have lost my job i wish i could say its the quarantines fault but i worked online  from home even before it it hurts alot because i worked many hours and very hard i put it above university even and have always prioritized my job now i have nothing i have to apply for a governmental help which makes me feel like a massive loser coincidentally i got one night of sleep before getting that email so it feels like a punishment for finally getting some rest i can never win no matter how hard i try and my life proves this every day i feel hopeless,3.0
35357,ramit haha quoti need  single women now sounds shady but it isntquot youve got it all figured out dont you  hows book sales going,0.0
35358,anyone else get so overwhelmed you cant handle being conscious pretty straightforward i just cant manage not having a complete breakdown anymore unless im entirely focused on something else i know it doesnt matter but it really isnt fair that im either numb or unbearably sad hopeless and exhausted,3.0
35359,jessicaveronica wellim crazy and i know it  quotif youre crazy and ya know it clap your hands clap clapquot,0.0
35360,how do you make friends im at the point where im happy enough to try but i dont even know where to start maybe i should leave my room lmao,3.0
35361,i made an appointment to make an appointment long time lurker sorry in advance for mobileive started my second semester at university after coming back from my first semester abroad its a good school and i know im getting a good education but lately ive noticed how little time i have to myself how exhausted and numb i feel when i listen to music i used to enjoy and how unmotivated i am to tackle my honors classestook the first step today in what i know will be a long journey i went in and asked for help i had a diagnostic appointment and made a plan with one of the faculty at our student center so that i can finally go see a therapist im really proud of myself and wanted to share that its hard taking that step but once youre walking once youre moving forward it makes the journey that much easiertheres only up give it time cheers,3.0
35362,jchoy tahnk u very  srry i did not come over my mom wanted to eat outttt ,0.0
35363,i have to revised my bac so fun ,0.0
35364,lostalone  i can see myself in the video  come back to hamburg soon pleaseee ,0.0
35365, good morning i cant get the link to work  ,2.0
35366,i think i have the flu  im all achy,2.0
35367, havent worked out in  days feel like a snail ,2.0
35368,listing to music init ,0.0
35369, yeah i have to go home im still at school ,2.0
35370,leaving the parade maybe jolibee next who knows  never saw this many good looking muscular filipino guys in my life jesus,0.0
35371,asks everyone to pray for the souls of the children who gat ran over along  this afternoon ,2.0
35372,ashton slipped and fell in the evening had a cut and swollen head ,2.0
35373, soooo tired my brain hurts amp im feelin a lil emooooootional right now   i say boooooooooo oooo ooo,2.0
35374, we met online and im falling for you but im scared of meeting up incase you think im fat and leave me   ,2.0
35375,i wish the man of my dreams would come pick me up and put me over his shoulder but it seems so unlikely in this day and age ,2.0
35376,solipsistic a book i fill with images amp text of how i envision my life to be amp become  see pic  ,0.0
35377,eurorockradio have fun kell and take pictures ,0.0
35378,watching xment the last stand lol just made a dvd of my year  camp experiance ,0.0
35379,i dont wana leave hollywood in  hours ,2.0
35380,natkayt boston is great however it left me with a heavy accent more chest hair couple of cigars and a temper  whadda ya rehtahded ,0.0
35381,torida hope u like tori  bit too sweet for me ,0.0
35382,tummy cramps ,2.0
35383,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
35384,tlmasonaea i wish i could but i live a bit too far away now ,2.0
35385,djtwyst im looking forward to it ,0.0
35386,  made me laugh ,0.0
35387,juliarosien i am happy to see you up and alive though  ,0.0
35388,i want one too dont have one theyre fun though ,0.0
35389,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,0.0
35390,i blame you all  got it good p she better be in good condition   night,0.0
35391,my job sucks way bad ,2.0
35392,spjewellery i am in northern irleland i came across to crawley for an event that was happening had not been in it for over  years ,0.0
35393,theellenshow missed your show since the dtv switch bought converter and everything nbc is now gone ,2.0
35394,ddlovato and well be waiting for you with open arms hands and hearts  love ya girl ,0.0
35395,noliesjustlove at least it tastes good ,0.0
35396,sad to see batmobile needs a new makeup again ,2.0
35397,not playing champ man ,2.0
35398,dont feel sad over someone who gave up on you feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them,1.0
35399,are you going to quotbumpquot on world tweetbump day  httpbitlytweetbump via prsarahevans via kimsherrell,0.0
35400,noifsandsormybs zomg i want to see this now  ,2.0
35401,zenshadow i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
35402,damnhelltall im so jealous you are in disneyland ,2.0
35403,i havent had any meaningful interactions with any of my friends for  years i havent talked about my depression to my friends in  years and its too late because they all hate me they ignore me leave me out make fun of me but i got nowhere else to go and i cant make friends because being depressed ruined the few social skills i had,3.0
35404, more shifts then im offically no longer working here ,0.0
35405,mcpattz oh mani missed you ,2.0
35406,i want to get better since i had depression and trust issues i lost my ability to have feelings i cant love care be happy be sad or whatever i also lost my ability to cry and i really want to get better but i dont know how ive been to counselling but its not helping me a lot cause i dont share a lot of stories in my more private life due to trust issues anyone has any advice please send some thanks,3.0
35407,thecolorabi ddd i feel like going to read more of your stories now ,0.0
35408,i pray i get to go to my boys tomorrow ,2.0
35409,i want to go out  i hate it having no money ,2.0
35410,my new pictures are on myspace facebook is being stupid oh and one of them is on here ,0.0
35411,was checking to make sure no amtgarders followed me cause i dont want to talk about depression stuff around them b ,0.0
35412,sad how he is treated by  they are distancing themselves from him for the sake of human nam shin,2.0
35413,playing with chrome for mac ,0.0
35414,how the hell am i suppose to sleep with all this loudness ,2.0
35415,i want to go get ck anywho hopefuly i can go to work  cause i dont have sick time  and i just got in a write up ,2.0
35416,free relaxation download heres a free relaxation download for anyone looking to take  mins out today  httplswlondoncomcognitivehypnotherapyhtml,3.0
35417,mattmcguinness  that was so nice of you to say hehe headswells p,0.0
35418,no  for mei always get the bum gadgets wtfnew exciting stuff for mefail ,2.0
35419,im sad when my best friends  closest friends those people that i treasure are sad  but it is what it is coz i get sad too  ☹️,1.0
35420,dcepegasus no time for that just needed a good nap for now ,0.0
35421,the images of this fire make me so sad especially thinking about the animals 💔😭,1.0
35422,waiting for some pizza and cinammon stix sounds delicious ,0.0
35423,i hope theres more to life than this i feel so sick i cant sleep i cant eat i cant talk to peoplei just spend hours staring at the ceiling because it takes too much energy to do anything at allim numb but im feeling everything at the same time nothing seems worth the fight anymore im tired im just really really tired,3.0
35424,i saw drag me to hell last night  go see it  if you liked the evil dead movies you will like drag me to hell   good horror w laughs,0.0
35425,i would appreciate adviceassistance on my situation long read i just hit my mid  and over the years i never really got to experience an eventful young adulthood not just that but even in my middle amp high school years i never really experienced much personal growth in many social aspects building relationships actually trying to make friends etc  it wasnt until mid last year that i got my first real legit job at a retail store which indeed helped me grow slightly in communicating before that i was a semineet who attended community college since i graduated high school many years before indeed i lived off my parents who already have so much to worry about since i can remember i always had doubt and hate for myself i just never had the confidence to really try new things i dont want to simply say something in my childhood occurred that really damaged me i suspect something but i was so young and it was many years ago i wonder if it even happened or maybe i am making it up or was it a dream i did behave very unusual when attending  to  grade it improved slightly over time but i still had so much doubt and lack of confidence i digress the main thing is i just never tried enough to get out of my comfort zone there are milestones that most people hit early or late which include many things like purchasing a vehicle going on a date moving out finding a better job catching up with friends after some time etc well at this point in my life i feel that it is difficult to progress when obviously i never really socialized much i wont deny it i did have some great times at some ages cousin hang out or even hanging out with friends at this point its like i contradict myself but ill reveal something else in a moment this post is getting to long at this point i am trying to better myself but i am still hung up on addictions like smoking weed and playing video games but still the silver lining is i am holding this job the purpose of this post is really to seek some of you that may have advice from putting up the fight and getting better right now you could say i closed the door on my annoying past self and am trying to grow however not really having a foundation of experience is really making this difficult you see i have this thing where when i am by myself i just mope brood just do unproductive things chronic masturbation smoke game and then regret it next day at work a different mask or face is on and i am slightly more humorous and try and be nice and help who i can and try and do my job well have bad days though i developed a personality at work but when alone i am depressed as hell well trying to fight it and my addictions now i will admit as hypocritical as it sounds i understand many women have stared at me for many years i usually get anxious and uncomfortable when it happens i do sometimes return the gaze but in the end as i make my way i think you arent good enough or she will never like you and your faults things like this and really it hurts its no surprise that i never had sexual or intimate relations so this will be an obstacle for me when i do want to engage someone you see i might havehad a chance to go out and meet with a co worker and even one of our customers but i dont have a clue about anything relating to relation ships sexual or dating how do i go about delivering such a weighted background ill leave it at this i understand that loving yourself is the first step maybe even forgiving yourself i seek some help and i heard this sub isnt the right place but i want to ask straight to the source ,3.0
35426,at home bored off head and got bad back ,2.0
35427,lost appetite does anyone lose their appetite when depressed and when your stomach is growling you still dont eat because any food doesnt seem appealing ,3.0
35428,cezarmorales lazy saturdays rock i think god likes praise too ,0.0
35429,eeeee follower  tja  ,0.0
35430,thank god i passed but im sad for the  who didnt make it june  ill be in the senior class when the term starts ,0.0
35431,my anxiety is literally on mars ,2.0
35432,has another splitting headache ,2.0
35433,just off work feeling pretty darn good ,0.0
35434,tag i can never cycle gently when out on my own  instinct is always to push hard some buzzy therapy should fix it ,0.0
35435,horton thinks my patio plant is his personal litter boxim off to buy big pebbles i hope that helps ,0.0
35436,love taylor swifts song titled quoti heart question markquot so much ,0.0
35437,too many people i cant breathe want to be home curled up in bed ,2.0
35438,i just cut myself for the first time and i want to kill myself its the first time i cut myself i was thinking about killing myself earlier but i stopped i am not even brave enough to do that i just laid in bed crying alone in the dark for a time that seemed eternal i stopped crying grabbed my knife and while sobbing started cutting my left arm it felt strange not from a physical point of view but from a more psychological one i washed the blood away put on a bandaid and a sweater i dont want my mother to see how disgusting i have become i am now on my bed shaking and scared what should i do,3.0
35439,jbslovebug xd and its because someones leaving twitter ,2.0
35440,rt freedomrideblog i see no value in documentaries about trayvon martin or sandra bland no sad rehashing for me we need a documentary t,1.0
35441,alyshakent i think we all are sometimes sweetie  i am at least,2.0
35442,feeling soo much better tonight last night was horrible i was so sick ,2.0
35443,suckage on me btw two pairs of work pants in there too guess ill start a trend of pantsfree mondays ,0.0
35444,my brain is telling me to be mad and sad and im like no but my brain is winning,1.0
35445,omg the last day of school is tomorrow ,0.0
35446,lopzeelopz yeah  sad its gone now ,2.0
35447,just about to finish my first semester at uni i have made no friends been in no relationships dont like my program and i things have only been getting worse interpersonal relationships just dont work for for me i guess i dont really see how things are going to improve and it feels like i am trapped with no escape im sure this sub is flooded with self pitying posts like this but i dont know what to do anymore the past  years of my life have been me doing things and changing things in hopes that eventually ill be happy but it never comes,3.0
35448,is it just me or is kate just the biggest famewhore that exists today  more than speidi or any of the kardashians  kate disappoints me ,2.0
35449,dstroyr rockdamullet awwww i have no internet right now  drummer boi,2.0
35450,tgif good morning tweets running errands then maybe ill go to work ,2.0
35451,back from cyprus our plane was weird going to upload some pics soon ,0.0
35452,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
35453,jinxieg thank u i m feeling better today though and ur werwolf story was awesome do u write a lot of scary stuff i love scary stuff ,0.0
35454,dae feel like beating yourself up about being a shit person is easier than trying to stop being a shit person i wish my guilt would transform me into someone who does the right things ,3.0
35455,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
35456, nothing very exciting unfortunately catching up with peoplerelaxingand clearing  worth of hoarding out of apartment ,2.0
35457,im angry with happiness ,2.0
35458,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
35459,he stated slow but seems to have picked up a bit ,0.0
35460,sad summer forever draingang,2.0
35461,apples new iphone  will arrive the  of june to people who preordered  the receiver aka atampt is making ups hold it till then ,2.0
35462,self care  so i am the worst at self care showering in general can be a huge struggle to convince myself to do it but last night i was able to do it no freaking out or fights with so and today ive gotten a bunch of positive comments about my hair so hopefully i can keep the momentum going,3.0
35463,jocelynemma shut up was like £ quid just need to wait till they come bet theyll be fake knowing my luck  how was thing show xx,2.0
35464,such a bad day ,2.0
35465,except for a couple of tracks im very disappointed at the new marilyn manson album i really wanted to love it too ,2.0
35466,i added a video to a youtube playlist  ye kesa tera ishq he sajaanawhatsapp video statussad broken heart,0.0
35467,tomatotoes as always i loved your set  btw naubusan ng mojitos yung mogwai haha dami tao eh but their screwdrivers masarap din ,0.0
35468, lemme know if you need any help ,0.0
35469,what a long day got out of work late than i missed most of the celticsmagic game  than the celtics lost ,2.0
35470,missmelbourne doh youre leavin now ,2.0
35471,my thoughts on my depression i know that my depression isnt as bad as it is for some of the other people on here that being said i still have a often times horrible time with my depression it makes me not want to be around others even though im a very extroverted person my family has a long history of anxiety and depression disorders i have never wanted to end my life however which makes me feel bad because i hear about all of my family members and a lot of other on here who have well thats it for now stay safe wear your seatbelt,3.0
35472,ddilsiz i was rite next to your bus baby ,0.0
35473,lizathewriter mh has been gone for about  yearswill have to catch you up  ,0.0
35474,ps i am sd right now i cant say why but i am ,2.0
35475,rt  anxiety does not mean you are weak anxiety forges you living with anxiety turning up and doing stuff with anxiety takes,2.0
35476,i cant do anything right i cant fucking learn how to do anything because of my stupid god damn neanderthal brain i cant fucking have a normal conversation without feeling like ive messed up saying something and made myself look and sound stupid i cant focus on any of my homework or any other stupid fucking shit in high school i cant help but be a stupid fucking whiny little arrogant bitch i cant fucking spell properly im not creative im nothing and i am starting to hate so many fucking thingsif i could hang myself and come back to life i would i cant kill myself and i cant do anything all i want is to isolate myself and hit myself in the head to where i die just bang my head so hard to where i crack my skull and get hospitalized i cant do anything right,3.0
35477,but the best part that i got from all the swimming i did yesterday was im all tanned and im so happy ,0.0
35478,what type of niggaz wake up at  and jus start shootn on eachother only my brizzoes suicide mission is in play ,0.0
35479,getting ready then my nephews chuckecheese partywhere a kid can be a kid  hes turning  they grow up so fast its crazyyy happybday,0.0
35480,todays the day i get stuff donesay a prayer ,0.0
35481,curiousillusion u know himym season dvds here  for  amp  and  for  robbery so im waiting for the present from you ,0.0
35482,is still not feeling too hot ugh ,2.0
35483,i dont know if im wiser now or just more depressed im in my second year at university and i just dont really try anymore im not referring to my classes which im doing fine in for the most part i just try really hard to mind my own business and avoid social interaction really when possible i avoid trying to meet new people because everybody already has friend groups and i just really feel like i wouldnt belonglast year i felt optimistic that coming to college would change me like i would find a core group of friends who i could be close to and open with something i didnt really have in high school looking back i felt like that was just me being naive i hate that you take yourself wherever you go i was really depressed my senior year of high school and it was so stupid of me to think that leaving home and going to college would just fix thatjust looking through the social media of some of the people ive met its pretty obvious how confident and outgoing a lot of these people have been for years ive had social anxiety for a while and its just gotten worse this past year especially when im around people like this i just feel like i cant relate and i dont get how they just magnetize to each other and form such seamless friendships like something about me just doesnt click ive tried so hard to socialize but oftentimes i just have to fake how excited or enthusiastic or passionate i am about something i feel like such a fake and its gotten me nowherei do have friends but i feel like i cant really be open to them but thats probably just my trust issuesim constantly in this painful nostalgic haze about high school i just wish i could go back and do it over with friends i was really close with judging by everyone elses experiences it seems like i missed out on something really important and i hate it i hate that it feels like my fault im this wayit almost feels like life is deliberately choosing not to go my way like its baiting me into putting myself out there only to be filled with disappointment what scares me the most is that this is it these feelings arent going away and i have to accept that this is what the rest of my life is going to be like,3.0
35484, lets go to happy hour somewhere sometime ,0.0
35485,edpodesta now you are just making me jealous ,0.0
35486,lamere it is gone away from my page now  mmwanted,2.0
35487,is thinking no nadal vs federer for this years wimbledon final ,2.0
35488,hilaryetravels did you really sorry to hear  unless youre excited about it,2.0
35489,cant believe that the real deal just played on his radio  to think my band almost opened for them man did we miss our big shot ,2.0
35490,rt genericcartel gang signs sad boy loko httpstcotgwvpythun,2.0
35491,rt trevormoran my stomach hurts thats so sad alexa play bellyache,2.0
35492,bostonpride question wherewhen is nina flowers performing next weekend ru says shes coming but no further info ,2.0
35493,nicolerichie u are hillarious  i love grease   so cheesy yet so amazing ,0.0
35494,leaving the beach ,2.0
35495,bryandsmith cool  im in the leisure book club so itll be coming my way for sure then  ,0.0
35496,i just wanna give you a big big hug right now 😭 im in no words our baby its ok to cry and to be sad but always rem ,1.0
35497,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
35498,good morning everyone ,0.0
35499,im just opening up while i am drunk i have felt so empty and even tried suicide in these few years so here is what has happened to me  i was bullied in school for  years when i was  my grandpa died that one happens to everyone but he was at the time the most important human in my life because my parents were not the best ones my first girlfriend got  brutally murdered tortured when we were  two years later my second gf blocked me everywhere and disappeared from my life still dont know where she is when i was  i had an crush on a very good friend of mine i planned to confess on her birthday she committed suicide before that i am now  and now i have bf yes i am bi and i have a feeling he is cheating on me with my very good friend and i am wondering here wtf should i do,3.0
35500,luckstar you lucky girl i envy youim still  ,2.0
35501,i love you phil im so proud of you amp how far youve come ❤️❤️ ,0.0
35502,greenmouse да ты ору�лла и не помнишь как �ледует «�е было там про литры и пинты»  ,0.0
35503,ive lost my passion for pretty much everything i loved i had big plans for my future ive been taking digital art and photography courses all online the problem is its way more complicated than i wouldve guessed i am a very slow learner needed a  plan most of my public school life my parents would suggest that maybe i have autism which i dont think so alot of this brings me down in school i went into pursuing my future career with certain classes because i am always thinking of the future i was generally proud of my work before i started analyzing what it took to be a true artist and photographer thats when everything came crashing down and my passions began deteriorating my art teacher had told me from the very beginning that my art could use improvement i thought ok just some professional advice thats all but he never was satisfied and i though he was just a dick until i started looking around at my classmates they made masterpieces within only a week they could finish an assigned project and mine would never be finished on time because i paid so much attention to detail i was graded significantly lower than everyone else and i failed that class for almost the entire year until my teacher gave me a final shot to pass which i took even now as im doing alot of this work online im realizing how stupid and actually untalented i am i know nothing about art or photography i dread getting online because im so behind since i cant even answer simple questions about these topics ive lost the passion and the will power to even work at these classes anymore but i wont graduate unless i pass them i dont know what to do with myself and my life anymore i feel like a complete failure an any hope for having my dream job in the future is shattered as i was afraid it would be,3.0
35504,iboxer nice there is a casino there ,0.0
35505,slowly losing my tan due to the gross weather ,2.0
35506,rt ratedjinyoung if you ever feel sad just remember that a guy read jinyoungs palm and said he thinks about sex all the motherfucking ti,1.0
35507,feeling like a stranger to myself im honestly not sure if this is the right sub to bring this up but here we goanyone else ever feels like they cant recognize themselves anymore like i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was pretty much like oh i guess its memy face my voice the way i move all of this feels unfamiliar and not like its who i am when i look at photos or when i see myself on a recording i can tell that its me but this person feels so distant and almost like a strangerim sorry if this shit doesnt make any sense just thought i would share,3.0
35508,on a better note  we had to queue to vote this evening was jam packed and difficult to stuff our papers in the box never happened before,0.0
35509,rt seefirestyles  oh baby ,1.0
35510,rockacandy thank you  i had no idea my girl was up on twitter  miss teedramoses ,0.0
35511,jenerationpr  let me know how it goes i forgot to set the dvr and i want to go to bed im going to miss leno ,2.0
35512, oh no are you ok ,2.0
35513,arungupta yikes  please tell me youre not moving from glassfish evangelist to weblogic evangelist  ,2.0
35514,one thing to another i know certain times of the year bring band memories and with it my depression worsens i used to tell myself that this will end soon because weve only got  months until the next thing comes along now i just seem to fixate on the fact that it is coming and the  month grace period i had is just spent with constant dread unless im out getting fucked up to avoid thinking which just leads to a hangover which sucks and then i feel bad because i know why i got fucked up was to avoid thinking about whats got me fucked uptodays song of choice is  just another  at work and then i can go home and attempt to relax,3.0
35515,rt zulterithart out of my home in with the inlaws anxiety is high but ill be ok lets see when ill be let back in my house https,0.0
35516,back to work on monday after  weeks off  ,2.0
35517,lovelyelle lmao shut up jackievee please dont listen to her i know how to get rich men  hah,0.0
35518,ncenglander poor you  ,2.0
35519,life after seperation  feel so broken and am struggling so hard how can i heal and move forward with my lifemy fiance broke up with me and left me  months ago she was very unhappy and the relationship had become toxic as a result she has outright refused to try work on it and has dated and slept with other peoplei have gone to  sperate counsellors and found one i like so i have been able to speak to a professional but these sessions have been focused on my own self improvement to move away from toxic habits developed in the relationship and become a more healthy person we have a son together and i feel as if my dreams of having a strong happy family and partner are broken she behaves civil overall besides the odd comment which i try to ignore but for the most part i know she hates me i really dont know how to move forward in a healthy way any advice,3.0
35520,oh no twitter will be down amp facebook poker i must go cry now ,2.0
35521,another weekend almost over  sigh,2.0
35522,zombieassassin this is  ive been blocked from following zombiemembers  on this account,2.0
35523,pilgrimfamilyuk no shamewell  surprised thats allim an ex myselfnearly  yrs now since stopped  x,0.0
35524,i seems to b missing out of fun  frds r out  dinner while am hm counting sheeps,2.0
35525,chanceslost holy shit kyle and john awww im so happy ,0.0
35526,i hate how my depression seems to come and go in waves i wish i never had the chance to know what im missing because its even worse when i can still remember what normal feels like i just wish i could be numb forever because its extremely exhausting to always be dragged back down again despite my efforts i just wish i could make it at least  year without relapsing no one even listens,3.0
35527,omsvu that is horrible if i had the board smilies available id choose sad angry gaah sad and donate for you  good luck,2.0
35528,briannexx dont worry ill rock out for you  and possibly rape  for you but not maybe just say hello ,0.0
35529, i dont know why im sad just feeling glum  no not going have client meeting on the coast  ill be there in spirit,2.0
35530,ive just decided my favorite british pronunciation of a  words is water bottle i cant type how they say it though ,2.0
35531,buffysquirrel for a long time we watched  together every july    mostly the stuff we love we just watch whenever it shows up on tv,0.0
35532,so cali went from nwa to cube to  to gfunk to quotyou a jerk jerk jerk jerkquot ,2.0
35533,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
35534,is unfortunatly up awake an ready to go to work   please rewind the nite i need a few more hours x,2.0
35535,fuck the embassy is closed with no notification ran out in a cab for nothing   httptweetsg,2.0
35536,my anxiety is so bad that im having heart palpitations and my right arm is throbbing like im gonna have a heart attack lol,1.0
35537,in bed on a sunday night   what a loser  decided to read all nat magazines tonight may take all night ily new idea april ,0.0
35538,enchantedheart abeeliever thank you beautiful people ltfor sharing the love aroundgt ,0.0
35539,sometimes it feels like im just not allowed to be happy it feels like im on some sort of universal black list and every time i find someone or something that brings me a little bit of joy its torn away from me like my being happy is against the rules the universe looks at what im doing and says nope cant have that you know you arent allowed why do you keep trying and yoinks it away but if i start to accept that and become comfortable with my depression thats not okay either if that happens the universe gives me something to be happy lets me have it just long enough for me to think hey maybe this is it maybe this is where things start to get better and then the universe swoops in and puts me back in my place,3.0
35540,heading to workreally happy that i have a long weekend ,0.0
35541,im not saying i want to die i just dont care if i do anymore i havent cared for a while but wasnt always truly not caring now im at the point were i truly  couldnt care less if i lived of died i have no idea what im doing with life anymore or why im doing the things im doing for a long time i was in a very dark place a place beyond crippling depression almost like feeling like your crazy but aware of it and theres nothing you can do to fix it in that time in my life i didnt have a single person that genuinely cared about me even my parents took every chance they could to make it worse they knew what i was going though and would tell me they know even though i denied it then theyd just start saying to worse possible things to me to just complete crush my confidence and will to live its almost like they were trying to push me to go completely insane with the things theyd say they would do things then when i brought it up theyd pretend it never happened and tell me there must be something wrong with my brain because my reality doesnt match there all that was a few years ago and it got a little better for a little but it still messes with my head a lot now i went through years with that having nobody care about me and having my parent treat me the way they did plus i was doing a bunch of hard drugs during that time like that long prescription pain pills and xanax and worst of all smoking a lot of  after so log of not being cared about when i went of and started hanging out with friends i just couldnt feel that they or anyone else really cared about me even know i know i have people in my life that care about me i just cant feel it even if they make is it obvious they care i cant feel it after so many years of not feeling any real actual love from anyone its like if completely lost the ability to feel love now all on my way feel is sadness and anger it takes a lot of me to get angry but when i do i just go nuts and start doing and saying this that i shouldnt and i always regret it in the end  i know my friend care about me because they show me all the time but i just cant feel it its theworst  fucking thing ever its like a curse my dad use to beat me a little when i was younger it wasnt really anything too bad but it was beyond a regular beating anyway im not bringing that up to complain about that too cuz no i dont care about that i was really young and it doesnt really affect me i bring it up because i would rather go though those beatings every day that constantly go though this mental torment i just hope somehow someway something come into my life that makes me feel loved or gives me my will to live i wouldnt commitsuicide  but idk i just cant handle this too much longer after years of having theses peoples and just suppressing them i feel like i actually starting to go schizophrenic i know nobody is gonna be able to really held so i dont even know why im posting is people are just gonna give the same old generic  we love you comments i guess i just thought to vent on here for a try,3.0
35542,joeymcintyre good night joe have a great sleep ,0.0
35543,yesterday michael j fox joined lance armstrong in my pantheon of heroes today is a day of eternal optimism be here now ,0.0
35544,kathryndawn i know i can thanks buddy ,0.0
35545,cant wait for street dreams selected theater june  ,0.0
35546,had a fun time tonight groovin w rhettmatic and shredone for get it in at poleng lounge thanks for the tunes ,0.0
35547,do any of you folks just not feel anything i cant feel any emotion anymore im really not trying to come off as edgy or anything either i havent felt anything in  years i dont get excited over my hobbies like i used to and i spend most of my time doing nothing at all i still get up and go to work but beyond that i cancel everything i dont have the motivation to get up and be social ive forgotten how to talk to people on something more than a surface level conversation  ive also lost a lot of friends who cared about me i also drink to numb the numbness i know it doesnt make sense that being said do you guys experience this  dont really have any moments of suicidal thoughts or anything like that the closest ill get to a recognizable feeling is a profound sadness that i cant really explain but that goes away after a handful of drinks i guess im reaching out for help because i want to see if theres some way to feel like a real human again,3.0
35548,jerrivega omg youre like the coolest by far  you in la right now and add me on myspace please myspacecomrockyshotmama thats the url,0.0
35549, u just say it was fun cause i passed the basketball that often ,0.0
35550,i just realized im a grace without a will ,2.0
35551,beaniebanks online shopping have had a wonderful idea for a necklace amp needs some bits ,0.0
35552,inaperfectworld weirdos wont exsist and my dog wouldnt be so gosh darn lazy ,2.0
35553,wtchng pug jellys vid dari kelas  sd pengen beli cdnya tapi gk kesampeanwell kay then they ended up to be a  hit wonder ,2.0
35554,taitran plz explain more i dont understand your question ,2.0
35555,come on  what the hell is your problem im dying here ,2.0
35556,need a temp car  anyone selling one cheap ,2.0
35557,you are dark as night i can barely see you ,0.0
35558,lorenhakeney owits okay dear anywayhow abt ur schoolis it goin smoothly ,0.0
35559,skylten at the end of the concert after the credits click on the super records logo  its hilarious,0.0
35560,i feel im a burden to everyone for a while ive always felt like no one wanted me around and its been reinforced by no one telling me about plans either until the last minute or after its over i cant tell if im just forgettable or unwanted when i try to talk about how i feel i end up hurting everyone around me making them feel worse and me feel horrible for doing that to them i just feel that everyone i have any kind of relationship with would just be better off without me i know this probably wont get much attention but i really just needed to vent a little so thanks for reading if theres anyone,3.0
35561,beautiful weekendgrilled out both daysloved it back  work tomorrow ,2.0
35562,abscbnnews bank robbery on going fronting elizabeth sch bf resort vill las pinas city just passed thru there traffic blocked  ,2.0
35563,is up earlybetween the cat racket inside amp the tnunder wind amp rain outside i guess my night is over ,2.0
35564,i fucked and now i am once again suicidal my girlfriend wants a break from our relationship beacuse of my actions she just wanted to feel loved but noo i had to play  while taking to her or never going out with her i caused her pain now i deserve it i will punish myself for those actions please enjoy your love and take care of it while you can,3.0
35565,ipol yeah haha i hope you feel better too  what thats not sad d id probably giggle like a little girl if he replied to me too,0.0
35566,misses the movie the little vampire  used to love it wen i was little ,2.0
35567,hawk nelsons summer ep isnt available on their site anymore ,2.0
35568,phanxhunter i wish but im leaving for church soon the next time i could call you would be  when confirmation is over ,2.0
35569,frshxo signomifly wth are you two talking about ,0.0
35570,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
35571, fagyoure right here amp you wont kiss me in the rain  youre too busy eating doritos,2.0
35572,where is the damn sun  im supposed to go to an outside wedding this afternoon ,2.0
35573,cant go to the bank ,2.0
35574,rt healingmb forgiveness can lead to greater psychological wellbeing less anxiety stress and fewer symptoms of depression httpstc,2.0
35575,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
35576,wizardess i got a coupon but i couldnt register it because you have to be in the us ,2.0
35577, love the new song and the chorus is real nice and catchy  gud job who did the track and recording jordan,0.0
35578, i know ,2.0
35579,its back i was doing well for so long then i broke my foot and lost the ability to exercise one of the key components getting me healthy now im back to gambling on sports  hours a day while my grades fall and i continue to get more out of shape because i cant even fucking walkfeels bad ,3.0
35580,my nose is stuffy ,2.0
35581,conservativela just saw your quotspot the fascistquot commenttoo funny ,0.0
35582,wengles yeh i just popped into hmv this morning and bought a copy of it it wasnt on the new albums stand was in dance section ,2.0
35583,depression cure taking this every day could help symptoms ,0.0
35584,tradingnothing tortellini and can i have some please my feet hurt too much to go amp get lunch for myself  ,2.0
35585,augustmajor  my teeny tiny fwend  ,0.0
35586,if you watch this it immediately cures you of your depression ,2.0
35587,davinamorris i wouldnt say im readynot done my hair or make up almost cannot be bothered ,2.0
35588,ddlovato demiiii this video is soo good about joe dancing single ladies   ,0.0
35589,how long does the dark cloud and the feeling sick in the stomachwanting to throw up take to go away anything i can do to feel better its been  days non stop now im at work and wish i was in bed not having to face the world,3.0
35590,i am so scared and tired and alone i dude  people in my life who knew about my depression and i could halfway be open with one is out of my life for reasons not up to him and the other i told two months ago i was getting and feeling better because for a week i was and i never am good for more than a week anything more than a day is a once every couple of months but then i started slipping back and i was doing bad but he was so happy to think i was getting better and wanted it so bad so i lied and then this week i found out a friend was going to kill himself but was stopped my a mutual friend who told me because how close i am with the guy but im not supposed to know so i cant say anything and after i found out about that a week ago ive been spiraling down and havent been this low in who knows how long and i cant say anything to my friend because i am supposed to be doing good and i already promised forever ago i wouldnt lie about this stuff to him and i would be straightforward so he could be there and im embarrassed and scared and cant say anything i have another friend that i know i could say something to but i cant because i have trust issues and am paranoid because of a mentally and physically abusive situation i was in with some people a couple of years ago i am so lost and scared and no one will see this and even if someone did it doesnt matter its not like words can change anything i dont think ill ever change i dont think anyone really does they just are dumb enough that when they lie to themselves that theyll get better they actually believe that bullshit and do i wish i was that stupid i am hurting so much and am so alone and tired,3.0
35591,ugh forgot my password    how is everyone playing the xbox  waiting for max payne  to come out,2.0
35592,onehipmama my god  did the emt arrive with a quad latte and chocolate in hand ,0.0
35593,anyone else start doing risky things during bad periods ive noticed that when im in a bad state i start behaving in some pretty risky ways such as driving to fast not looking before crossing the street and so on its not even conscious i just do it i think i do it because it makes me feel something instead of just a dull pain well,3.0
35594,damn burn my eggo waffle ,2.0
35595,has literally spent all day watching come dine with me and cant wait for the five episode marathon on  at  ,0.0
35596,lukebroadlick please check this pic and comment    me in a magazine of my city britney related,0.0
35597,moving crap outta the house fn fun  ,2.0
35598,even tho i really dont know his grandfather but why do i feel sad why my heart ache why im crying im so soft emo rn 💔😭,1.0
35599,happy thursday to yall amp myself ,0.0
35600,yuenz tell me about it man ,2.0
35601,momaye hahaha i cant do that nomore im gettin old  ,2.0
35602,feeling depressed i woke up this morning and nothing bad has happened just woke up in a funk please send good thoughts and comments please,3.0
35603,geekbeer im jealous we still cant get newbelgium in jersey  ,2.0
35604,mileycyrus miley  congratulations you won omg im so happy  you won you won yaaaaay youre so good love ya god bless ,0.0
35605,fueledbyjessi true i didnt cry last year either i told people have a nice life haha i put that in annas year book this year tooo ,0.0
35606,shyobaba followers lol ,0.0
35607,going to get something to eat ,0.0
35608,jennybantug please tell me you brought me some for our marathon or atleast the recipe mmm mint choc chip  ,0.0
35609,i feel sad and lonely i used to have a lot of friends i still do but everyone seems distant and i dont hang out with them from a year or so i feel lonely and sad im very bored i spent time scrolling the facebook page without doing anything because i look at the same posts  times im very confused and im not motivated to do a lot of things im not understanded by anyone and i want to do a lot of things and i never do anything im not confident at all and i dont know why ,3.0
35610,just visited my friend shes had a baby the baby was so beautiful ,0.0
35611,baseball tourney tomorrow   bed time good night moon,0.0
35612,  what up woman follow me ,0.0
35613,seriously devoured the langar after the gym session ,0.0
35614,justinsxe thats cool  so whats on your agenda for the summer chilling or a job of some type decided on a college yet ,0.0
35615,blokeslib  it only hurts when you laugh lol ,0.0
35616, i want to twatt with the asian,2.0
35617,late at the shop printing some shipping labels as paypal shipping is messed up and we have to do every label individually  by hand ,2.0
35618,happy mothers day watching dora the explorer i can taste and smell again  haha going to the famous flea market in a little bit,0.0
35619,at work with the mean habgy over lol smh ,2.0
35620,darceywestcott i dont remember the invite    would love to go but i need to play school bus today for viv,2.0
35621,cant wait until the scottish cup and the fa cup cmon rangers and everton ,0.0
35622,walking the int drive in search for i dont even know what i am doing here ,2.0
35623,i hate this month i have got so many bad news ,2.0
35624, i got your dilly beans ready and ill be there tomorrow ,0.0
35625,my computer has a virus  on sisters laptop,2.0
35626,is atampt down in mpls my calls arent going through ,2.0
35627,davidarchie david can you wish me luck on my global test tomorrow im going to need it  ,2.0
35628,ariellekristina thanks for the link and followfriday  ,0.0
35629,twitterrific shows an ad from wacoms  remembers me how much i want one  ,2.0
35630,djmachale i wish you would have come to florida  im about to finish raven rise and start the soldier of halla  i love your books,2.0
35631,perfect perfect perfect day ,0.0
35632,my back is so itchy and there is no one around to scratch for me  i need one of those lil back scratchers they sell in matamoros mexiftw,2.0
35633,thebrowncoat firefly man welcome back ,0.0
35634,i cant cry just over a month ago i ended up in hospital from trying to take my own life im back on meds and getting hormonal treatment too but i feel like im back in that place i was a month ago the meds are helping speaking up helped to but i still feel so alone i feel like i just annoying people and thats why i end up with no one no partner to hug at night no friends i can call when im happy or sad when i went into hospital that night i had  people who were aware why and where i was but no ive been pretty much abandoned by them and have no one else who knows me the way one of them did i just want someone to give a fuck about me for once and to stick around my suicidal tendencies had always been there but really started after i had all my friendships break down its happened my whole life why am i always left alone ffs my own dad left me as a baby my mum let me go into care i have no family in melbourne that really cared when the hospital rang my mum she lied to the mental health worker when they called and blamed my friend whom had stayed over a few nights almost just before hospital i hate her for that if anything his the reason im still here now but if you know my mum you know shes a narcissist especially towards me i have never been a good daughter in her eyes ive never heard her tell me shes proud of me infact the only time she talks good about me is when shes talking to other people about me everything gets to much for me to deal with at time and my mental illnesses dont fucking help in any situation i know no one will even read this because no one cares so ill stop right here smoke some puff and weed and hopefully cry the tears that keep dwelling in my eyes,3.0
35635,  if anyone has these send one my way i think its the best marketing ever  itll look great on my closet ,0.0
35636, aktuell   burnoutsyndrom in der stressgesellschaft – folgen wie alzheimer und wie entrinne ich d ,1.0
35637,anuragd if only they make a chrome addon for this no greasemonkey in chrome  and i dont wanna use bookmarklets,2.0
35638,woke up an forgot i had to be somewhere at  jumped in my car too fast and hit my head and blacked out for a good  seconds ,2.0
35639, now im home with nothing to doboring,2.0
35640,theabundantgift that happens alothmmmmm  ,0.0
35641,bigmadkev i forgot to give you a hug when i left yesterday im feeling bad because of this ,0.0
35642,yay i can update this from my desktop now ,0.0
35643,and im eating some dutch dark chocolate rings  my grandma likes amsterdam alot what can i say l,0.0
35644,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
35645,is excessive dreaming common here in the past  weeks i dreamed like crazy i have at least  seperate dreams per night one of which i remember clearly for days to pass plus theyre far more symbolic imaginative and lengthy theyre not chaotic messes like they used to be instead they have a clear timeline my life currently lacks progression every day is the same and each to its own and my motivation sociability sense of self and confidence feel like they jumped out of a  story windowim not exactly sure if im genuinely depressed havent been checked yet i went to therapy  years ago for a major depressive episode and i have a sense of deja vu from then now soo thats why im asking,3.0
35646,jstrud you are you just make fun of me all the time ,2.0
35647,ive officially become my moms slave for the next  or  days ,2.0
35648,omg the ambulance was for a baby ,2.0
35649,rt ninoderosario depression amp alcohol is finishing the youth,0.0
35650,tiffanynis nope cant see it ,2.0
35651,quotthe air so much easier when sea foam green is in fashionquot i hate brandon boyd he forgot to put me on the guest list last night ,2.0
35652,everyone takes my fucking anxiety for a fucking joke amp ive had enough of it for the daynight,1.0
35653,could really use someone to talk to i feel like i am drowning in all of thisand it makes me want to scream,3.0
35654,good morning all  i am starting the day with a smile and getting it over with ,0.0
35655,ugh should really go to bed ,2.0
35656,i cant upload a twitter picture  so its just a little annoying question mark,2.0
35657,havent seen liza in  days by my calculations my separation anxiety started yesterday 🤔,2.0
35658,see what kind of boobs your name makes httpohpaicom mine makes small ones ,2.0
35659,deltagoodrem oh i understand just found out my lease isnt being renewed have til  to find new place amp move out  im in a huge messx,2.0
35660,frshswaggxp those are beautiful pics maybe phillipe the tourist should double as phillipe the photographer  i absolutely love the  one,0.0
35661,this twigga is going to bed im wayy too twigga to be on hurr ,0.0
35662,not motivated anymore im a  guy from italy and im at the third year of university i have to do only a few exams to finish but im not motivated to do anything anymore i feel like its useless and a waste of time plus i had some health problems that made me think more about it than studying i feel less concentrated at the first year i was really enjoying it but from the second year i met again anold friend really oppressing and its like he resized my concept of university sometimes i didnt want to go because he was there and i needed some space to get concentrated in classi have really a lot of friends but most of them hang out with their girlfriends and leave me alone im not happy anymoreive been confused for a while me and im writing here to get some help or opinions thank you reddit,3.0
35663,larak the online id calculator is a really cool toolthanks for sharing ,0.0
35664,living with a depressed partner anyone have any advise for mefeel like im getting depressed,3.0
35665,rather hungover ,2.0
35666,plain spaghetti for dinner today i spent a lot of time thinking about how i should kill myself and whether or not it was the correct choice my new years date changed his mind last night so im staying home alone after work i bought a car with all my savings which were intended to buy a car now im home im out of food and im going to have plain whole grain spaghetti with butter and the cheese i have left for dinner thats all ive gotdont know if anyone else had a weird day but cheers happy ,3.0
35667,norwich city fc  never this bad in my life time  not even sure well be back any fight left ,2.0
35668,sod the gym im going to laugh to tone up my stomach muscles thanks gee  ,0.0
35669,its so hard having to walk someone through how to do something on a mac when all i have are whatever screenshots i can find on google ,2.0
35670,i dont know what to do anymore even the people in my dreams dont think i should be alive or think im a piece of shit i wake up every morning and cry because i am still here and i have to go through another miserable day i dont know what to do ,3.0
35671,paulsteele lol  damn that woke me up ,0.0
35672,joeruiz its black but its a guy driving so def not evaruth ,2.0
35673,looks like noquestionsasked voluntary euthanasia just became legal in germany theres nothing more inhumane than forcing an individual who did not consent to being brought into this world to live a life in a socioeconomic system they had no say in building we are cattle forced to graze so that oligarchs and plutocrats can get richer than they already are ive been looking a lot into legal voluntary euthanasia the last few months i dont even feel that my life is particularly bad but i feel the only control i really have is in removing myself from the machine that bloodies so many others wondering if anyone else has considered making one last trip to a country where its legal to make the final journeythe cost is usually prohibitive especially when many of the cause of the feeling that be traced back to the lack of money just interested to hear anyones thoughts or hear to be an ear for anyone struggling i empathize with everyones struggle and youll receive no judgement from me as long as you arent hurting others,3.0
35674,wow i really need to keep using twitter often why do i forget ,2.0
35675,bugger wont upload ,2.0
35676,along w focusing on your physical mental amp emotional health how much thought do you give to your spiritual aspec ,1.0
35677, optimize your tweeting   ,0.0
35678,shouldbeblond i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
35679,voted for the teen choice awards  ,0.0
35680,it feels like my whole life was created as some kind of cruel joke this feeling has followed me for so long popping up and consuming my being out of nowhere constantly im only  and the sad thing is i know i will never be able to escape this feeling it will be better at times but at the end of the day i always end up back in the same place i wish there was just some way out of my head something anything but i will be cursed to walk this painful road forever i guess i know i have my whole life ahead of me but its hard to get excited about that when all ive ever known life to be is straight suffering im done,3.0
35681,   honestlyi dont like it alot shes cute but not a cute dress or shoes ,2.0
35682,zombiebites oh no that is so horrible dude im so sorry  adecco is having a job fair next wednesday look it up ,2.0
35683,my councellor came late to our appointment so i left i  had an appointment with my councellor today i waited for  minutes in front of her office until i was tired of waiting as i was walking down the stairs on my way out i bumped into her we said hi but i still just kept going down the stairs i dont know why i just left maybe that was just the excuse that i needed to give up not trying is so comfortable anywaymaybe i felt dumb i was standing there waiting for some stranger to solve my problems going to the appointment would have only meant that i really dont believe that i can do it by myself i wanted to do something productive while i felt a bit better than usual so i asked for an appointment i guess it is kind of funny how life works sometime it makes me think of how i felt when i got dumped on valentines day the kind of situations that are sad enough to make you seek the irony as a distraction,3.0
35684,finals tomorrow only have one to do ,0.0
35685,ill probably always be this way and knowing that makes me want to die im  now ive been dealing with horrible depression since i was a kid  or so i have no hobbies no friends i am fortunate to have a long term boyfriend who is very caring and supportive of me but i cannot for the life of me find a hobby or activity that engages me my life feels meaningless i have never wanted kids but i am so desperate and sad lately that i wonder if people have them to give their life meaning i moved out of my home state  years ago my bf came with me but even in college i could only make one friend my so has always been the only person i talk to about my depression the only things i can do to eat up my time are work get high and drink ive been smoking pot daily for  years and cant find another way to cope i try cbt and it seems to help to a degree these past two have been especially horrible i am trying to force myself out of the house but i find  different excuses at every turn im not looking for advice im just venting i guess,3.0
35686,on my way  paris ,0.0
35687,tired of life everyday just like a chore not suicidal just losing interest in everything that used to bring me joy,3.0
35688,martynpepperell really  thats fricken great to hear  i had a fab time   hows you x,0.0
35689,nickjonas  i am your fan and i was sad because i could not go on the show in rio i only have very small  years  i love you ,2.0
35690,tommcfly enjoy your time in porto alegre ,0.0
35691,kind of disappointing ,2.0
35692, hello apis  how are you,0.0
35693,i love the fact that theres no food in my house ,2.0
35694,continental flight to newark cancelled next flight they put me on is delayed going to miss connection ugh ,2.0
35695,djironik mornin  hope ya enjoyin the gorgeous weather,0.0
35696,  lol syl  thank you,0.0
35697,jeez im smart haha she likes that chick with her name spelt deaneee but you say deeearrrneeee okaye  just clearing that up,0.0
35698,im  have almost no friends never had a girlfriend and i feel just so lonely i just feel so lonely i just wish i wasnt so shy and so socially awkward i dont know what to do i feel so awkward around people and the few times i manage go out with a group of people i almost never speak to anyone unless someone speaks to me first why cant i be like a normal person the only things i enjoy at the moment is lifting weights at the gym right now im still finding a therapist and i hope with the help of a therapist i will find a way to change it,3.0
35699,listening to selena gomezs say now messages ,0.0
35700,truck wont start stuck in taco bell parking lot and its super hot ,2.0
35701,gaaaawd school can u just be over my summer is totally being wasted ,2.0
35702,ok cant focus  need sleep which is a bummer as i wanted to finishe my sandra brown novel  i gues tomorrow,2.0
35703,such horrible weather in dunmore ,2.0
35704,cudlitz depends on  if what you hear is good or bad hun  lol  xx,0.0
35705,mrxinu haha you have aqua in your library  havent listened to them in a while  i think we are more compatible than lastfm thinks,0.0
35706,there is nothing special about me ive came to the conclusion that no matter how much i try to find something for me that i may be good at i never seem to get the results i want there is not one single thing about me that is special i just want something anything  that would help me from going anymore insane from the fact that im starting to hate who i am because theres nothing good about being me no talent no skills no friends no genuine people around me in my life nothing i have nothing now and nothing to look forward to in the future  no one will fucking respond to this i know it but hopefully when i wake in the morning ill feel better about getting this off my chest ,3.0
35707,artistjgray eh that food was ok im gonna miss cheese doodles ,2.0
35708,lol  the idea that you should just talk to someone people are there for you so im bulimic quotation marks because i havent seen a professional but just to make you all understandmy mother your friend is studying to be a doctor and you look forward to puking dont eat that if youre just going to throw it up why did you throw up why do you need to puke if you have a gym cardmy brother just go to the bathroom and puke when in anger but apparently he knew and this is the only support ive gotten from himwhy should you tell someone about your problems when no one makes the effort to even understand or cares at all ive tested my luck and tried to tell a friend about this and they pretended to care and asked me to not brush this off however their actions contradict their nice words of pretense they never check up on me or ask me how im doing im the one always trying to talk to them i wouldnt have given them an honest answer anyway as i dont want to be a downer but it hurts that no one even cares to ask has anyone else been in a similar situation when trying to open up to others i feel so much worse after attempting this ,3.0
35709,its gonna be like a blog with photos and its gonna show you what university life is all about and how to get started and all that ,0.0
35710, oh sorry  well when else will be good for you,2.0
35711,we pushed bryan into the pool ,0.0
35712,jasperluvscasey aww that sucks  im so sorry for you btw guess what comes out next saturday gg last episode cant barely wait,2.0
35713,cannot wait for oasis concert on  th june ,0.0
35714,lmfao just emptied the washer cos money was flying about in it found £ but  its my brothers  thought i was rich  hahaha,2.0
35715,anxiety be like that one friend that always bugs you but has no clue theyre driving you up the wall,0.0
35716,iamjeli were classmates ,0.0
35717,bored  so bored  headabouttoexplode bored  but my courser is a jumping ipod  that should entertain me,0.0
35718,rt zoulfu so my brother got his heart broken today and i thought i would joke around and play sad music instead my mans had an emotional,2.0
35719,greyseer glad i could help  good luck,0.0
35720,katedonaldson lol yeah its my new thing im on it all the time  how r we,0.0
35721,ive had so much anxiety all day waiting for the game tonight but im ready  nbafinals,1.0
35722,acho q to ,2.0
35723,is it normal to want to be sad sometimes im new to this sub but i was awake at  and thought i need to talk to people about this but i dont want it to be anyone i know personally ive suffered with depression since i was  and have been taking medication since i was  a few years later even though ive been taking my meds properly and im more or less happy with my life i still struggle to motivate myself towards anything productive i want to organise myself but my mind and body doesnt let me and recently ive been unable to sleep well and pretty much every night i feel as though i have a pit in my heart which makes me want to do nothing except listen to sad music and cry i hate crying but pretty much every time i go to bed its all i want to do,3.0
35724,perezhilton thats genius ,0.0
35725,is sitting in her new desk huhu now im far from my office friends ,2.0
35726,doesnt this scare you according to healthlinecom  million people in the us adults had atleast one depressive episode in  this represents  of the us population doesnt that kinda scare you how many adults are depressedhad a episode thats not all psychcentralcom says  of teenagers have depression before adulthood yes some only have it once but still hell dogs can be depresseddoesnt this scare you for the us and humanity in general yeah sure people probably never talked about depression back in the old days but doesnt it kinda scare you everyones depressed now and its like whatever causes depression is trying to kill humanity its so common now it scares me antidepressants prescriptions are through the roof people are killing themselves and some people are just suffering for no reason why some people might say oh you dont get it your not depressed but little did you know i was diagnosed with depression twice and i dont know why im like this it just drives me crazy thanks for reading the rant,3.0
35727,first time seeking for help i hate myself for being an envious piece of trash throwaway account hey this is my first ever post on this sub i always thought i wasnt depressed and even now i am not sure im posting this so i can get better clarity about my mental healthi used to be happy even when things werent great things have never been amazing anyway im  and i have a bunch of friends that care about me i have a girlfriend who loves me very much too i have nice parents a loving sister and grandparents who are absolute gems so far so goodthe financial situation at home is worsening by the day and its getting frustrating to live like this its been this way for the past  years but now its got to point where every single penny matters we dont have any belonging that isnt a luxury but thats okay no one knows about my condition ive told no oneheres the problem my girlfriend and my friends are all extremely wealthy my girlfriend cannot stop going over all the luxurious possessions she has my friends mock me in a funny way for not owning something which isnt a luxury they dont mean to target my insecurities but they unintentionally do its been this way for over a year and its getting really frustrating now even when they arent mocking me if they speak about how they drove their car to a restaurant to have food with their family im envious of it im envious of anyone who has it better than me it really sucks because i dont want to be envious of them cos theyre my friends my girlfriend does now live in town with me its a long distance relationship and i dont get to see her often i am again envious of anyone who gets to see their partner every single day all this envy is difficult to live with i constantly try reminding myself that im lucky to have whatever i have and some days it works but someday it just doesnt ive started to hate everything that reminds me of how bad the situation is my father is not the most competent of people hes been cheated and let down by a lot of people in the past he reminds me every single day to take care of him and buy him all the things he couldnt buy for himself  my mother is fed up of living in a super restrictive lifestyle and shes lost all motivation she used to be an artist and a teacher but shes stopped all of that now and i think shes depressed my sister is too young to understand all of this everything sucks ive been envious of everything i come across i try to channel it to my advantage i have some motivation left in me to be positive i hit the gym i learn to play the piano i am currently doing an internship but constantly  my life seems like it is lesser than everyone elses and its starting to lose meaning i have major ego issues and thats why none of my friends know about any of this envy reminds me of how i have nothing to live for and it makes me feel empty am i depressed should i get some help i dont know what to do,3.0
35728,guys the girls of cartertwinsorg are amazing thanks so much for helping us out  listening to carter twins heart like memphis d,0.0
35729,no chicken adopting today i have to wait until tomorrow ,2.0
35730,anyone else have switches what i mean by switches are a very sudden change in things that matter to you ive been struggling with depression since i was very young and over the years things just flip on or off with me like a switch one day i just decided my best friend didnt matter to me anymore switch flipped and i never talked to them again same thing has happened with nearly ever aspect of my life things i once loved to do gone friends gone family goneit only takes one negative thought to cement my resolve i really dont know whats wrong with me why its so easy to just discard relationships that have been built over a life timei really only have maybe two or three switches left ive thought about suicide a great deal and im very worried that once  that switch is flipped ill just be gone it only takes a brief moment for something to be set into stone with me i dont want my life to be over but i think very soon it will just be out of my hands i have a feeling it will be sudden and it will be definite just waiting for that switch to flip to give me the go ahead,3.0
35731,oh please dont quit alyssa barlow you guys are amazing i would seriousley cry if you guys did ,2.0
35732, yeaa it is ,0.0
35733, hows guitar hero lol and matts gone  idk whyhe didnt do anythign i dont think lol,2.0
35734,  as you are going to be so perfect  ,2.0
35735,what a long fun filled day ,0.0
35736,dixontam i dont think my credit card could handle it  ,0.0
35737,franzfangirl i had the same problem last night ,2.0
35738,natalieadcock sadly not havent ventured out of my street all weekend im complemented that i have such a memorable look though ,0.0
35739,hanakoni aiyo wad happen cam down nuraini u still have time just build upon your own pace and take it easy kaes cool tweet tweet ,0.0
35740,i am a ghost of my former self now like i totally take responsibility for treating you badly and everything but i had a purpose in life and now i dont its like i am a walking ghost my existence literally means nothing i dont even get what the point is of all of it its like before we met i was happily oblivious but now i know what i had and every second is like this horrible consolation prize like i feel like i must have put you through hell to deserve this and if i did i am truly sorry maybe i deserve all of this,3.0
35741,artstarbang luuuulz now i have to teach you art school shooping magic ,0.0
35742,i wish i was someone else i wish i was someone elsei wish i was pretty i wish i was successful i wish i had friends i wish i had a boyfriend i wish i was happy i wish i wasnt broken i wish i had hope i wish i was worth anything to anyone,3.0
35743,i thought my friend would understand basically me and my friend have depression not for the same reasons but that doesnt matter i have suicidal tendencies and he doesnt allthough i opened up about it to him i never reached out to him when i was feeling worse than normal today i did and i said that i felt like i was yearning to dissapeardie or commit suicide he basically answered the worst answer for me anyways basically saying that if i did it i would be sellfish and dumb even though i know he meant well it felt more like a stab than anything i dont know if i ever want to talk to someone when im feeling this because even a friend who has the condition doesnt seem to understand,3.0
35744,i just talked to my mom ad my dogs are howling in the background i miss them so much ,2.0
35745,im really wanting an emotional support dog but i dont have any money my money was stopped because i tried to work i cant afford it right now which is making me feel shitty i had my child tax credit stopped because i had a part time job last year for  months which i had to give up due to the depression they said we have too much money so they stopped our payments even though we dont have extra money coming in i normally save a chunk of that money for the car which we have just had to pay for from my husbands wage and we have been left with very little this month it feels like im being punished for tryingi have been getting a lot worse this year and feel like a support dog would really help me a lot and not being able to get one is upsetting me,3.0
35746,rt rachfleury anytime someone i love or care about is sad i wish i could just take it away and give it all to myself instead ,0.0
35747,hi ash my names luciano im ur bigfan in brazil i love u so much sorry for this but i not speck english very well  ashleyltmsyf,2.0
35748,ddlovato yay very excited for camp rock two  when do you start filming then x,0.0
35749,pottymouthmama oh lexi does he say why he does it ,2.0
35750,trying to write a presentation on elp for study skills and a web project for it plus unable to update a profile photo so maddening ,2.0
35751,going to test drive the car wife says it doesnt pull dont know what she means  ive never pulled in that car ,0.0
35752,paperclipface i just dont understand people ,2.0
35753,anyone ever look back at their younger years and wonder how they used to be such a joyful person i saw a post on here about someone remembering a feeling of emptiness since they were five and just not knowing it was depression  for me its the opposite  i was always a super joyful kid and maybe a little too hyper  i was that annoying kid when i was   then around seventh grade i started to withdrawal from the world slightly and just talked a little less than average  this seemed all fine at the time it made me a more likable person  but i think that was the beginning  i finally realized my lack of a friend group because of how i acted when i was younger during third quarter that year  it wasnt bad depression but it only got worse from there  my dad turned from mean to abusive starting next year and my mom started to be disappointed with everything i do  my parents dont even know anything about me besides a few keywords because they havent held a conversation with me since i was   the only person who i can say genuinely cares for me is my best friend and he doesnt even know i am depressed  i dont see a reason why i am so why should i explain that to someone who is much more depressed than i am  by the time i turned  i can say i was depressed  functionally depressed i guess using terminology from one of the top posts here  i dont know what to do  ,3.0
35754,hey guys i didnt think i would break down but i did ive been feeling empty and disconnected for so long every day has just been telling myself that im okay im okay im fine smile breathe every day for months this is what i have been doing i couldnt even cry now i cant even think im okay without feeling sick to my stomach no one is okay everyone who says they are is a fucking liar like i am i tell people to keep up hope when i have none when i dont even feel alive or real i thought breaking down would help me i thought releasing my emotions would help me when i was finally alone at home i laughed and cried and just kept talking to myself i hit the ground and slapped myself in the head repeatedly because that disgusting trapped feeling in my head wouldnt go away i accidently hit something on the ground and i got a cut on palm that i just keep looking at ive never felt this awful before or this alone at home im not okay im not okay im just a liar lying to myself and everyone around me my family is no help how could they even understand i cant even cry around them ive never felt so unwelcome in my own house i was stupid i was apathetic and more detached to protect myself from this and now im constantly on the verge of tears and i just dont know how im gonna keep smiling and working towards things im going to try and see a therapist but right now im just trying not to cry all the time ive never felt so lost from going to barely alive but handling it im just trying not to cry all the time and the stress of everything is getting to me i feel like im choking how do you handle it how do you keep telling yourself its okay when you dont think its ever going to be ,3.0
35755,hi how are you i dont remember the last time someone has said this to me or has even acknowledged my existencei realize now how much i invest in my friendships with people and how little i get in returnnot even hello not even how are youapparently thats too much to ask for now,3.0
35756,big whiskey is finally hereim waiting till the postman comes to deliver it to listen ,0.0
35757,ltj bukem – inner guidance  dont know how much i blipped this one but it certainly is my inner guidance  ♫ ,0.0
35758,is suicide attempt a sign of depression or am i just attentionseeking title says it all i was so close to killing myself about a month ago ive never went to get diagnosed or anything so who knows if im just being a whiny annoying fuckface,3.0
35759,mdekuijper thanks  my  time ,0.0
35760,oh wow quotthe seasonquot was wonderful so worth staying up albeit not that late  loved it,0.0
35761,mrsbambam thats on u i attempted u ignored me ,2.0
35762,in the library doing my disertation ,2.0
35763,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
35764,rt youngbabycoco stfu bitch ,2.0
35765,it is finally nice out and i feel awful ,2.0
35766,etrangle ahahahahah myshas perfect caption  my mommy made me do this ,2.0
35767,officialnichole damn i really wish i could go  but i live in brazil so thats impossible haha cant wait to see you here in brazil nic ,2.0
35768,laylakayleigh because there sweet just like you ,0.0
35769,god i am so stupid sometimes only sometimes i thought  used my credit card when it was stolen but turns out it was a direct debit ,2.0
35770,not going to whitby tomorrow anymore  i dont get to see the hot surfer dudes ,2.0
35771,rt factsofschool school hasnt even started yet but my stress has,1.0
35772,sad triathlon class is over ,2.0
35773, weeks away from work and ive forgotten php ,2.0
35774,jocelynwolff cat took my crayon today in nursery  i wasnt happy,2.0
35775,rt ryanyeetz  as a psych major when people shit their pants its actually because the smell of their own,1.0
35776, ayup checked out the site earlier got some cool work on there  just wondering if you should change logo to branding,0.0
35777,get bored thats not fun ,2.0
35778,randiloveless i love you randiferrrrrrr ,0.0
35779,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety httpstcoubqsbbqljt,1.0
35780,lulz so yea my internet just went out  this sucks,2.0
35781,thewordcheese kill paradise ftw man i love fall from a star beautiful colors amp katie and i ,0.0
35782,thanks for following me guys keep it up please ok take care yall ,0.0
35783,mordetro hahahaha our computers might explode from the gqmfness of it  but ugh yeah the eyebrows ,2.0
35784,wants curly hair  humph ,2.0
35785,wish i could use this at work this afternoon   ,2.0
35786,i send all my love and respect to taehyungs grandfathers family friends and relatives as to how taehyung has b ,0.0
35787,princesammie i cnt remember wat da whole dream waz bt  tha end of it u were cryin ,2.0
35788,work is the last place i wanna be right now ,2.0
35789,me n  have come to da conclusion dat you cant turn a x into a housewife  damn    ericcirignano,2.0
35790,written  songs so far and just playing around with bsections and verses in the vocal booth now im so tired ,2.0
35791,i want bioshock   i want it now i want it more that sims   httpbitlymkyaob,2.0
35792, awesome to meet again in the one ,0.0
35793,snuggling up with my angel darling baby ,0.0
35794,jonathanrknight thank you for inspiring people to check out a great cause that they might not have otherwise known was out there ,0.0
35795,simonech can connect to ms ocs with adium sip doesnt support tls cant use mailapp  no imap etc only exchangemapi ,2.0
35796,i feel suffocated by my friends ive been depressed for a while but now i feel suffocated by my friends they havent done anything wrong and theyre very nice but i dont feel like i can tell them how bad i am or even about my private life with my last group i never felt suffocated things felt more real i could be open and honest it was the closest ive been to long term happiness i had ever beeni wish i could find different people to be around without pushing them away but when i try to be alone they all join me and if theyre already there i cant sit away from them because im too afraid ill upset them i just need more space so i can branch out a bit but i cant think of a good way how thanks for any advice i hope you all have a better day everyday ,3.0
35797,liubinskas argh ride safe wheels mcbinskas thx for yr focus today quotwhat can we do for youquot ftw ,0.0
35798,oh never mind its in nyc  ,2.0
35799,seriously needs a massage ,2.0
35800, thats ok then ,0.0
35801,im not going anywhere  but im watching niley performing bts today eeep  cant wait bts,2.0
35802,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism desk toy edc copper   via ebay ,1.0
35803,i wanna fuck everyone ,0.0
35804,is up to my neck in stupid theatre work  got a b on my exam though ,2.0
35805,me to my depression trying to get out of bed in the morning,2.0
35806,nialltour i took a year off and it was so good for me my mental health is way better im happier amp im not as s ,0.0
35807,deresbabyh har har i dont need a break everyday is a break for me atleast right now  and i dont think youre in the new episode s,0.0
35808,cluckhoff i went mtbing with a sore throat on monday crashed and burned hard for the next three days ,2.0
35809,kentangkrispy knp mang sher ,0.0
35810,a pic of me  ,0.0
35811,i wish someone actually gave two shits about me it sounds selfish in every aspect but i cant help thinking about iti wish someone gave enough of a shit to pick me first or to see that im reverting back to when i tried to od on painkillers everyday i feel like a useless sack of shit and even though no one could ever know if i dont tell them i wish they could i feel sick and tired of living and i can barely muster up the energy to get out of bed i feel like a slob like a useless hermit that cant be truly happy everytime i feel happy it never lasts it doesnt feel genuine like its just a distractioni cant go on living like this no matter how many different meds i try or how much therapy i go to i always go back to the way i was it honestly feels like i was destined to kill myself i dont feel unique i feel wierd i feel like im a side character in my own fuking life nothing ever goes how i plan it to go and im sick and tired of it but i know ill never have the courage to kill myself because i know deep down that people probably care they just never act like it until they have to,3.0
35812,morning and night  the holy smoke goes up  ,0.0
35813,that gin and tonic last night had all tonic no gin ,2.0
35814,starting a inpatient program upcoming monday my depression and ocd hasnt gotten better with meds exercise new hobbies the thoughts of killing myself go with me everywhere i go and only go away when i actually talk to someone my therapist and doctor were very surprised to see that i went all  years of school and my upbringing with no friends and straight up social isolation during high school i only started to get out of my bubble when i turned  to defend myself and getting what i need now im  and still find it exhausting to talk to anyone because its awkward af when i cant keep the conversation going i had a suicide crisis last week and now discharged from the hospital ive been given admission to a program thats similar to a rehab but for mental health i think what i need is to have a group to talk to to get away from my thoughts i start monday and hope i can meet people who i can share my personal life with wanted to share this as i have no one else but talking to myself to let know how im doing,3.0
35815,rt badzachx id rather be happy and irrelevant than famous and sad,1.0
35816,just got twitter on my phone ,0.0
35817,hexmurda congratulations to you and the misses ,0.0
35818,how to distract myself ive been dealing with my depression by ignoring it i know its not the most healthy option because the unresolved issues are still there but its the only thing thats kept me sane ive been engaging in self destructive behaviors for the past year binge drinking every few days toxic relationships meaningless hookups etc and now that im restricted from doing them i feel lost i cant do these anymore for various reasons so now my darkdepressive feelings and thoughts are resurfacing with nothing to distract me from them i cant distract myself with things like reading or watching tv because my mind still wanders to those thoughts i need new ways to distract myself and ignore the depression again,3.0
35819, youre rightim  and  ive heard the song a time or two ,0.0
35820,nsy dont panic he just wants to punch all of your teeth out ,0.0
35821,i was an honor student in school  years after graduation i am broke and unemployable i feel embarrassed i feel disappointed in myself i feel left behind i feel like a loser i feel defeated i dread having to meet my friends from school because they are managers or supervisors or heads of departments nowheres the long storywhen i graduated high school i was third among  students i took the entrance exam to the most prestigious university in my country i passed however because of financial reasons i wasnt able to enrolli was able to get a scholarship for a nondegree threeyear course in another university first mistake because there was another scholarship i shouldve applied for which would have given me an opportunity to finish college with an actual degreei graduated college with honors or the equivalent of a cum laude for a degree courseafter graduating i applied for a minimumwage office job near my home i stayed there for six years second mistake i shouldve focused on selfimprovement instead of staying in that dead end job for years i lost track i enjoyed the company of my coworkers too much to think about if that job would help me get a better career in the future also i didnt mind the low salary because i was poor my whole life that low salary was a big improvement from being broke all of the time after six years i resignedi got a job abroad a job that would allow me to save six times what i was saving in my last job i was excited and optimistic however just when i started working there the company started falling apart salaries were delayed for months employees started to leave the company i left after a year i went back to my countryafter that i lost motivation to continue i got depressed was unemployed for a year and a half i just stayed in my room most of the time i didnt want to apply for work i was eating through my savings i went back to college to finally get my degree not that i thought that degree would be of any help to me but i thought going back to school would be a good distraction to avoid having to apply for work it was at least for a year and then i graduated at  years oldthat was eight months ago i still havent had the courage or motivation to apply for any job i want to switch careers but i fear no one would hire me because im too old to hire for an entry level jobso here i am  years old almost broke in fact in debt probably wouldnt be able to get hired even for an entry level job i feel like i wasted my intelligence however smart i would like to believe i am without skills or the necessary work experience or training i wouldnt be able to make that career switch i desperately want time may have run out for me im turning  in half a year in my country ageism is a thing they dont want to hire people older than  i feel hopeless sometimes i feel giving it a few more years and if things dont improve i might kill myself ,3.0
35822,beautiful friday morning  going to go out and enjoy it to the fullest   good day twits ,0.0
35823,carmel frap and a cookie for the day ,0.0
35824,ah i have a fever im shivering freezing really sore nose runny nose sore throat etcetc  owwwwww ,2.0
35825, train is at  what a service ,2.0
35826, our clubbox inspection will be on june   please help us out by downloading lots ,0.0
35827, goood luck this afternooon whens your last exam they do suck huh  just got to think of the awesomeee long summer,2.0
35828,i love thunder and lightning well mostly thunder  but they kinda go together  ,0.0
35829,making frozen pizza cooked all day and tired of it  ,0.0
35830,boyfriend shirt ,0.0
35831,queenoftarts correct ,0.0
35832,man can go to the moon  yet we still havent solved how to prevent a room service club sandwich from going soggy ,2.0
35833,jewelthatblings thanks lady glad their are other girls who get it ,0.0
35834,i was just diagnosed with depression im  and thought i had my whole life ahead of me but that hope is dwindling i just need something someone i dont know im  years old i just had the greatest night of my life a concert for a band i have been listening to since age  and a fan of since i was  and i have a pretty decent time at school no extremely close friends but still enough acquaintances and decent friends to get me through the day i get decently good grades and my family is supportive of me most of the timeso why do i feel so fucking shittoday i got diagnosed with depression today the diagnosis i have anticipated yet dreaded for a decade came into effect today my life made so much more and so much less sense all at the same timeim  years old i just want to be a normal kid stressing about the next test not wishing to stop existing worrying about getting a boyfriend not wondering if i will ever be capable of giving or receiving genuine love and companionshipshit i should be going to parties and enjoying my life with my friends not sitting in my room at  on a weekend and just willing and praying that i will feel something anything that will make me snap out of this hole of procrastination anxiety and depression i am spiraling intoits my final year of highschool im australian so i dont graduate until novemberi feel useless empty and alone so so alone despite being surrounded by people who love and support me there is such a huge pit in my stomach i just feel worthless i knew it was coming fuck did i know it it runs in the family and having been affected by it externally and exposed to it from such a young age i just dreaded the day i would finally be officially told i remember at the age of  beginning to lose large clumps of my hair due to anxiety about my dadi remember at the age of  being diagnosed with ocd after my perfect grades began to slip and my parents noticed my compulsions that consumed me since then i have gotten much better with ocd but i still struggle either wayi remember at age  realising what social anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder truly meant and how inescapable it was for metoday at age  the final sadistic piece of the puzzle fell into place justwhy me thank you honestly if you read this far thank you just trying to figure out how i can go about my life knowing this all one year ago i had uni plans knew what i was going to major in and everything now in the year it all counts i need to completely change my plans because i realised i genuinely have no idea what i really want out of life potentially the hardest part of this all for me is the existential feelings and crises and the emptiness all my passions have gone down the drain all my hopes and everything seems to be missingfuckthanks again ,3.0
35835,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,0.0
35836,watching yes man ,0.0
35837,silversteer good morning it was great thank you hope you had a great weekend too ,0.0
35838,madabouttees yeah i found twhirl  its cool it actually tracks woohoo now to integrate this into seesmic work faster basterds,0.0
35839,the offsprings song is really making me sad ,2.0
35840,ohdoctah good boy enjoy every sip doc ,0.0
35841,even with the snore extractor im tired ,2.0
35842,serious question why didnt you off yourself yet ill starti have been neeting for  years and taking antidepressant last year i dont feel any emotions anymore except the only time when trolling strangers on the internet and then left with emptiness after getting my dose of dopamine i have a to do list which keeps stacking to a never ending point i have dreams getting shattered everyday because hope is diminishing at an alarming rate close to nothingness i know everything i do is meaningless but i keep repeating the same cycle without a single care in the world im grateful to my parents for at least providing me with basic necessities as there are people living in worst conditions the system is rigged either you become a proud wagecuck or youll live your life in shame in the perspective of normalfags this is what makes the neet suicidal i have been thinking for a while why dont you seriously kill yourself this time from  tales i heard that the victims willingly hang themselves during an execution they dont feel pain but a sense of relief whenever i stick my head in a noose i tremble with fear after the intense pain i received in my failed attempts i know what is preventing me from ceasing to exist its pride,3.0
35843,cold turkey off effexorvenlafaxinehow long will the withdrawal last hey guys long story short ive had a long history of depressionanxiety and i was prescribed effexor towards the first half of the year around april i think initially it lifted my mood but very quickly it began to take a toll on me i found that i felt completely disconnected from my actions like i was a stranger inside my own body and more worryingly i lost the ability to really feel any emotion ive had to imitate behaviours and emotions even though i am not feeling them in order to still seem like im functioning the only real feelings ive had as of late have been bouts of anger and a habit of splurging on stuff i dont need and overeating which i never really did beforemy doctors have been extremely unhelpful and i made the decision two months ago to slowly taper off my dosage i was on  a day and i began by opening the cases of the pills there are six small capsules within a plastic shell and removing one of the capsules over time ramping it up to only  capsules a day the equivalent of  one day i decided enough was enough i cannot be held prisoner with this fucking drug anymore its too much for me and i long to feel something again beyond anger i quit cold turkey  days ago and its been rough really roughim getting a tiny bit of feeling again over christmas i didnt really feel much at all but i felt a bit happy the day after christmas spending time with my family my sex drive is beginning to return and my dick suddenly works again as for the withdrawal effects its been rough as fuck  i get brain zaps which is very common for people coming off efexxor its like a sudden jolt in my consciousness and happens anywhere between  times in an hour i can handle that though im lethargic and its hard to move my hands properly im experiencing a lot of hot flushes and high temperature im sweating balls when i sleep and during the dayworst of all is im getting bouts of extreme anger over time ive become a much more chilled person but this anger im feeling does not feel like me at all im convinced its withdrawal effects i get so mad i want to scream at full volume and smash everything around me ive never consistently felt like this even in the past when i struggled with anger the slightest thing infuriates me and im overreacting to everythingmy family have no idea how long ive been struggling i made the decision a while ago not to bring it up because it only makes things worse they made it very clear they want to help and share my issues but when ive spoken to them about how i feel in the past it has scared them and they have been overprotective i choose not to rely on anybody else and i dont have anyone to share how i feel with so i felt like i wanted to make a post herei have become distant with all my friends and family i felt such a disconnect with life in general at the start of the year that nothing really feels real anymore i dont care about anything i dont want to make an effort with anybody and i dont feel like i can talk to anyone about how i feel i dont feel like anyone would understand i feel like im not meant to be here and that im defective and people can just sense it when theyre with me everything seems to superficial and pointless and nothing gives me joy anymore i have vivid fantasies of pushing everyone i know away and living alone in solitude and never having to contact them again starting life over even though im close to my family and have some very good friends it never feels like enough and ive lost a lot of close friends recently by cutting them out of my life because they were toxic peoplei feel hazy im sleeping bad and its hard to focus but im  days in and no matter how bad it gets im staying off these torturous drugs think long and hard if effexor is really for you it has become a prison for me and online research has shown me that its the same for others i am determined to beat the dependence but i worry about how long im going to feel like this i can handle a few months but what if it never goes away i feel incredibly alone in all of this this is a bit of a trainwreck of a post but it feels a little better to put how i feel into some semicohesive manner has anyone else gone cold turkey and made it how long did it take,3.0
35844,list of good things ive never wanted to kill myself but ive long term struggled with not really wanting to be alive i thought i was years past it but tonight is really bad i starting making a list of reasons i want to be alive theyre mostly small dumb things like wanting to see the next season of a show or knowing i have concert tickets next month some are bigger like how much i love my cat and i know i could t explain it to her if i left im hitting a wall i wanted to hear other peoples things on their lists to help me come up with more items for mine ,3.0
35845,barkbusiness thank you so much it took me a while to find but i finally did ,0.0
35846,the chiché paracetamol overdose i just went out and purchased  paracetamol tablets so  went to three different stores too   i want the pain to end and i want a reason to give up every responsibility i have because everything is too much at the moment i cant just walk away i need something to give me a reason to walk away from everything though an overdose will do that and if i die then it doesnt matter    im going to do it its more of a case of how much i should take for  a  guarantee that ill be dead with or without treatment  b a serious cry for help but will most likely survive with treatment  i know its a terrible way to pick but i dont have the guts to throw myself off a building or something i know its painful and long but im okay with that   im just figuring out my options please dont try to talk me out of doing whatever im going to do,3.0
35847,jagrmeister hahanice  we will come out and get them in game  worries mate ,0.0
35848,is at her last youth group  wow this flewwwww by,2.0
35849,dinner was great so was spending time with friends back home  but i have a pretty bad tooth ache at the moment ,2.0
35850,woke up ,0.0
35851, at least ive got afterschool to look forward to  i cant wait ,0.0
35852,bay to breakers in sf today oh how i miss those crazy days cant wait to see the pics my friends will post ,0.0
35853,i should not have been born my mother had at least one miscarriage before me and maybe two if either of those hadnt happened i wouldnt be here i wish that were the case because i wish i had never been born i am a mistake and i shouldnt be here and i dont want to be here but i am too scared to end it,3.0
35854,not in a good mood overslept big time so now its another full day of work ,2.0
35855, i wanna see it too amp whats a few hours you need a break and have some fun too ,0.0
35856,robfindlay  desktop wallpaper like the inside of a monitor ,0.0
35857,holliepea just read your fab blog amp wanted to tell you what im reading but cant figure out how to comment on it i am stupid sometimes ,2.0
35858,omg new tbs albummmm ,0.0
35859,i cannot wait to receive the  masks from magan ,0.0
35860,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
35861,social networking all about adults think again heres the cute stuff  httpviigoimbzx,0.0
35862,wishes my babys sniffles would go away ,2.0
35863,prtrice crazy nightim just waking up  soo glad u had fun though,2.0
35864,  i miss the djing days ,0.0
35865,is it just me or does everybody feel worthless so many people ask why are you so sad ok lets see my family hates me im constantly lonely im bullied and insulted with no one i can vent to im treated like a slave by my mom and things never go my way for once and i hate it im hideous and everytime i try to help or be happy i just end up hurting someone or making a disater or make people mad i try to be happy but its not possible im actually thinking of suicide ive told my family and they said theyd be happier without me and i dont know what to do im trapped inside my own head wondering why i havent hung myself yet but maybe its because suicide is a ticket straight to hell im shunned from society and nobody loves me im losing my goddamn mind and my emotion and ive honestly forgotten what it feels like to be happy all i want is to feel loved i all want is to be happy i just want to be supported,3.0
35866,and its already sunday  sighs well good morningdayevening  all ,2.0
35867,lisanova we had it but we lost it  very sad  us cause we loved it,2.0
35868,i hate car places  ltjxgt,2.0
35869,good day twitters ,0.0
35870,noarmsjames my lovely man is cooking me dinner and then were going for a walk ,0.0
35871,theres no ironic twist here i adored clowns my whole childhood i took classes on how to be one in elementary sch ,1.0
35872,im trying to do my fisicmath homework  boring,2.0
35873,my crush told me to kill myself theres this girl i like alot and i wanted to be at least friends with her but whenever i ever try to talk she tells me to kill myself and etc its making me depressed and now ive been cutting myself ,3.0
35874,lsrccrd thanks ive worked nonstop for the past couple days no time for twitter  what did you think of that cavs game,2.0
35875,gbtan  dood im on vacaation i miss you ,2.0
35876,donniewahlberg  speaking from my heart you guys are f amazing getting teary eyed omg you dont even know  sigh ,2.0
35877,bunnyhungry looool chips and ketchup ya waili  lets have some fish fingers  im not too sure about baked beans though,0.0
35878,sylviaaak girl i just got your package  the posters are beautiful i miss you ,0.0
35879,omg just saw twilight movie and itwasawesome oscar contender ,0.0
35880,problems keep mounting  years ago i was  healthy and on my parents health insurance in the  years since going off my parents insurance ive gotten braces again diabetes and now sleep apnea  i still work the same shitty job and am utterly alone no matter how i try to meet people it doesnt matter if i exercise or dress well or whatever nothing ever improves it just gets worse,3.0
35881,laragreenway i used to call them twits well come on theres logic there ,0.0
35882,good mornin twiggas ,0.0
35883,rustyrockets i dont have anythin important to say just letting you know that youre beautiful although you blatently already knew that ,0.0
35884,mstacocat sad yeehaw ,2.0
35885, heading to ya house ,0.0
35886, foxnews adfkristen it really sounds like youre struggling with a  mental health crisis im sorry th httpstcopucxpjbfbx,1.0
35887,im wheeling amp dealing today but not in a sleazy used car salesman kind of way not that theres anything wrong with used car salesmen ,0.0
35888,prettyricci devidev yea sucks  hope yall understand tho,2.0
35889,eeus hell yes i dont know why i live here  lol,0.0
35890,condolence to you and to your family i know youre sad please stay strong we armys love you 💜,0.0
35891, drug rep paid for lunch pizza and strawberriesyum they wont pay for my dinner thou ,2.0
35892,studying for finals  wishing i was outside,2.0
35893,damn  firmware ,2.0
35894,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
35895,just got home after  classes had a great time in bodyjam despite landing on my butt on bodystep dang my butt hurts right now ugh ,2.0
35896,sometimes you think about what your life could have been like if youd done things differently i dont know if its the right subreddit but i always think especially now how things would have been if i had done something different i like to imagine that i go back to those times and do things right as i would have liked that i would have done it the first time and imagine how i would be now if i had done that not having harmed some people or just that things went just as you wanted in some situations sadly its just thoughts that can no longer come true they just happened but i wish it was possible to have a chance to change something,3.0
35897,qotfu twitter needs to figure out how to fix that soon its annoying so are noisy neighbors i hope they shut up so you can sleep soon ,0.0
35898,feeling bloated and slightly nauseous ,2.0
35899,tommcfly hey man r u already in fortaleza tell me how things going r u gonna do something cool today ill see ur concert tomorrow ,0.0
35900,im not really sure what to do now i thought i was getting better relationships were going well gf and i havnt fought in a long time shit hit the fan tonight and honeslty im right back where i started it never gets better,3.0
35901,shaundiviney omg that is hilarious haha   x,0.0
35902,i cant explain how fun last night was jesse  chris  derrick  me  night time  kicking rocks  today should be better too the ,0.0
35903,greatowl that made my day appreciative heart for you ,0.0
35904,amp i dont no how im going  when they take it away  its so hard  better then u ull be ok ive  ,2.0
35905,amberchase more gifts for you ,0.0
35906,im so tired had to get up early ,2.0
35907,barefoot magazines are in stock now ,0.0
35908,hey you allmy phones gonna be dead until adrian takeover decides to give me my charger back awhowell get it back dammit ,2.0
35909,lochnessaz theyre lazy they slave work us pharmacy techs like back in the day  no racial,0.0
35910,thinkingi might start a separate account just so i can post my rants at the tv to get them off my chest but in private ,0.0
35911,vnoutsourcing bm oh yes it does i guess s my safari is doing fine but firefox suddenly turned dumb  who to blame,2.0
35912,maurae i guess we should wait for the others ,0.0
35913,out shopping last day in la ,2.0
35914,daydreamingnet hey could u follow me so i could get your updates cause im followng u amp dont get ur updates ,2.0
35915,debowen cheesy maybe  but still a great song for dreamers even those of us    ,0.0
35916,transformers  is getting buttslammed on rottentomatoescom josh is a sad panda ,2.0
35917, cant wait for tommorrow ,0.0
35918,ouchhh  something has got to change i wake up and i cant move my shoulders or neck,2.0
35919,jillystjohn be sure to kick it over this way we could do with some sunshine ,0.0
35920,doing my homework �� booooring ,2.0
35921,mental health comes first always,0.0
35922,rt  hoseokcute btstwt no puedo poner top pero son estaslove is not over whalien  move bsampt attumn leaves o cómo se,0.0
35923,today i self harmed for the first time i dont know how to feel or think about this i crossed such a emotional threshold that felt i didnt have any control over the things in my life that i wanted to and i took a pocket knife and made several long cuts across my thigh i feel like i was just being melodramatic i know that the things im upset about really dont matter in the long run but im upset about them regardless and nothing i do can change them but today i was just left feeling so helpless and out of control that i ended up doing this im so ashamed im far too old to act like this and not be able to express my emotional pain or sadness any other way especially for such silly reasons im particularly nervous because ill be having a check up on my balls following a check for testicular cancer and the dr will likely see these marks the length and number of them that there are im afraid of his reaction and how ill have to handle it but i dont have anyone or anywhere else i can express these fears and concerns so ill just drop them here for now ,3.0
35924,breezyfeen  i know  hes hilariouslol,0.0
35925,im done being soft this life is mine for the taking and im done taking orders from and putting up with shitty people who only slow me down the people in my life right now are my partners in crime and business im gonna go to the top of the world with these people not lay around like a bitch my three step plan get money go to school get moneyits that simple good luck everyone,3.0
35926,im still sick   tears  me,2.0
35927,iqbaljoe no im noti just font know why  work just fine tea time lets,2.0
35928,haljam skinneelove steeletalk its a bigger deal than riffraff and cops shouldnt be responsible social servi ,0.0
35929,oops  almost spilled my iced tea,0.0
35930,does anybody hadhaving this problem because this is so fucked up so i made my first note for myself in past and found him after a while about how im feeling about life i still having these problems its kinda complicated and please dont judge mehere it isi dont know what is happening in my mind right now but i better write this down before i forget it like most of my thoughtsi just want to be ill all the time feel down all time and be pessimistic im just tired of peoples kindness which is just doesnt feel that kind its only a distraction for me which just makes me nonemotional most of the time my reactions my smiles and my happiness doesnt feel that real and good which no one sees shit i cant even controll my face and cant get rid of smiles that easily its just appears when it should and it doesnt feels right to me even if i have a normal family normal life even if everything is enough to live happily  i just dont want to i need sadness which i cant get or show because im fucking letting everyone down with my look i just want to be a fucking adult and live by myself without familys support fuck thisi cant be sad because of family i cant be myself because of familyi just want this time to pass already some people told that time passes quickly so i just want this to pass too i just want this to be one of my memories days stay long but at the same time they are passing so quickly the summer is already over school is starting soon i dont know how to act i dont know what to think about i dont know what to do now im just doing things without even thinking about themsometimes i just feel empty wrong not like the others well i dont really give a shit what others think i just want to be sad i just want to be depressed i cant because all time i have a constant distractioni dont want my sadness to be a reason of my lazyness yes sometimes i feel lazy im not searching a reason to my actions i just want to feel constant sadness or depression i wish i had mental illness i wish to my parents be more cruel with me they are too kind with me and i cant always handle this normal i just want to get hurt from someone i just want to be brokeni dont really like be happy the concept of being sad being broken being hurted my something does feels nice to me but life gave me this instead no abuse no things to be sad about and love and affection of parents shit they cant even punish me physycal i made them sad  angry a lot of times before but no real punishment thats what makes me sadi really thanksfull to my parents for everything what they are doing  done for me for everything that i have right now even for a laptop which im suing to write my first shitnote of myself i really do love them but theres too much good in my familylife no trauma no iccidents nothing bad has occured before what could change mei just dont understand myself sometimes some emotions seem to be fake or faken sometimes im shy or very talkative i cant get ill for a long period of time being ill feels nice for me being sad makes me happy how confusing i like be sad but i cant really be depressed in front of my parents so it looks like i just have to wait until my adult life will come and finally i can be myself do whatever i wanted feel what i really wantmaybe im not really normal but i dont feel bad about that anyway we are all different right so i choose to be like that i cant realize all of my concepts and wishes yetbut still thats my life right i will be doing what i want to do if i dont see anything in being happy  thats my right to think like this i dont like the concept of happiness being happy is too damn simple sadness is much more difficult to have its more complicated and thats what i really likeeverything that i want for myself isbe alone depressed and broken,3.0
35931,would anyone recommend cutting themselves i havent really done it before and i really want to try it,3.0
35932,bored at work ,2.0
35933,how do i know if im depressed or not this question might already been asked before so many times but here i go again im a  years old woman married to an amazing man i dont have any significant problem in my life but i am just not interested in anything because of this lack of interest my husband thinks that i am depressed and it has been a problem now because i dont think im depressed and now i get annoyed every time he brings it upi am not interested in making new friends because in my defense i already have friends that i trust and i dont need more i dont go out because i feel that its unnecessary and wasting money i dont do exercise because it makes me tired i spend a lot of time watching netflix because i work mostly at home and i have the time i gained a lot of weight in the last few years because i love eating i sleep early because its nice i dont apply for a new job although my current job is not paying me much and i probably can find a new job because i think my current job is enough my questions are  am i making those reasons because i am depressed am i just lazy or am i depressed ,3.0
35934,laurasmannequin yay you should  theyre awesome ,0.0
35935,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
35936,wish i was in kiama ,0.0
35937,i have been playing skate for two hours now i need to get out and actually skate but its too late ,2.0
35938, i really wish i had a gun it would make everything so much easier,3.0
35939,fucking figures i get back and dean signs off  shittiest week ever i think so,2.0
35940,i really need someones help please i feel like god feels bad for me and will help me out with this i pray and hopei cant talk to a girl in class and i cry in the toilet all the time praying my quietness will get betteri really wanna be her friend we have talked before gave her a gift got a hugi also wanna remove a mole above my lip and im too scared to ask my parents any tips pleasecurrently laying in bed crying,3.0
35941,sadly ive run out of coke so the rum and cokes have come to an end  ,2.0
35942,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
35943,not being able to run apart from a single  jog thanks to soy flu has been the killer cant be helped back to the shrink i suppose ,2.0
35944,its chilly today perfect day to sit inside and write i am going to post tonight  hopefully cross fingers,0.0
35945,cant wait for summer to beginim such a mess these days ,2.0
35946, i have the same problem if you find out please pass it on ,0.0
35947,is watching a movie with the guys and thinking about her ,2.0
35948,is walking my nightly exercise  ,0.0
35949,gotenkslovesme haha yeh lol maybe  i missed the last roadshow cause of rain,2.0
35950, ah man  sorry to hear,2.0
35951,hey  x not doing much but am in tech last day  oh no we are getting sweeties from our teacher yum yum ,2.0
35952,how to laugh and be happy i dont know what to do anymore i have no real friends or carrying family i just talk to teammates in video games i am totally out of society smart but realistic dont even know why i should be happy my life is such a waste,3.0
35953,deirz traffic everywhere ,2.0
35954,howeveralthough oh dear sorry for the paypal fail today ,2.0
35955,miss my bestfriends  i wish i could see them again but i cant im stuck here at school,2.0
35956,im soooo not going to be able to sleep now ,2.0
35957,  i love my junk food shirt  rob ur the fuckin best,0.0
35958, awwweee so good to see you too i miss my moki until tomorrow ,0.0
35959,thank you god for  wonderful years thank you thank you thank you ,0.0
35960,is awake so early so im just watching meryl and pierce in mm thinking why does the dvd skip at the kiss times are bad ,2.0
35961,dont hate me im back  holdenworther,0.0
35962,watching jays second to last show ,2.0
35963,i am sick of prunes grapes and grapefruits diet woes ,2.0
35964,rt peacevibespromo feeling my stress slip awaylistening to renegaderockhave you heard renegade by vandelux on soundcloud ,2.0
35965,eating chocolate cuz im really sad ,2.0
35966,angelagibberish its a bumpy road  and past few days have just been blah thanks for asking  gonna go to sleep now good night,0.0
35967,mojustice its in the constitution i think must admire and know great americans ,0.0
35968,mikeneumann hahaha i know im so uptight  thank you handsome xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,0.0
35969,whos mp machang ni level of stupidity tahap apa entah bila ybmk tengah bincang pasal mental health kot ko ingat benda ni kelakar,2.0
35970,davidbedwell or the farting bloke ,2.0
35971,bethaneystone erm no but lease i have tomorrow though just to tie all the loose ends together  then i shall be ready for monday xo,0.0
35972,going to seymour in a a couple a hours  too bad the twitter stopped working on my phone,2.0
35973,natnatty but i forgot it ,2.0
35974,its world environment day today im pretty sad that  unepandyou didnt reach  followers though ,2.0
35975,perezhilton it just her positive energy and aloooott of hugs and lays chips ,0.0
35976,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
35977,jvanacoro i wish we could chris cant take off work cause of disney soon  unless you have a sunday night show,2.0
35978,my mom took the bacardi with her  damn,2.0
35979,micblonde me too  have a good night hun ,0.0
35980,tori home sick sophie  momschristy exhausted amp i have a massive head achewas up til  am w tori  mondays suckand  for gmwtf,2.0
35981,mickwrong  it was slightly yellowish which didnt make sense to me since it tastes like cinnamon,2.0
35982,bclub i love green but purple is nice to btw will you be restocking the maze tshirt its listed as sold out now ,2.0
35983,sweetsqueezes why are you picking up the pieces ,2.0
35984,should i delete reddit am i just super fucking sensitive or does it hurt other people too to get multiple pms from a stranger telling you you should kill yourself because you live in a certain country or own rats etc im never intentionally mean to anyone but half of my comments always get downvoted and often attacked reddit is the only social media i have anymore should i just delete it too,3.0
35985,im so sad,2.0
35986,having the worst day of my lifesomeone make it go away ,2.0
35987,angielim im going to update my song book before coming ,0.0
35988,rt emoblackthot i think one of the biggest struggles of the constant battle with mental health is accepting that not everyday will be per,1.0
35989,woah so many replies thanks well that sucks ass ,2.0
35990,i have to come in and study er something i dont want to take any of my classes again nxt yrug or the same teachers  exeptions ,0.0
35991,mooseharris oh the shame  im killing myself now ginfingers its my only excuse ,2.0
35992,getting my outfit together for tonight ,0.0
35993,ddlovato ithiink youu should come to nz ampplay live in my backyard for my birthday  because your the best singer ever ,0.0
35994,got my report card back i was at  for my average and i went down to   now i have to kick it up a notch,2.0
35995,global warming was nice but global cooling is back on ,2.0
35996,the ending of breaking dawn was so nice but its sad its the last book from the saga ,2.0
35997,i just have no one to talk to i suffer with severe depression  stress seems to trigger it  im on medication but i just cant get rid of the thoughts in my head  i have friends a husband family but they dont want to hear or get angry at my feelings of sadness  so i just put on a fake smile and act like everything is fine  im a good actress  my life will be over and i just wasted it with feelings like sadness or anger  worthlessness  i just wish i had one person who would listen and understand,3.0
35998,soooo happy i finally get my macbook tomorrow  fnally something to cheer me up whoooo ,0.0
35999,johncmayer im with you  on that  ,0.0
36000,yokie i have a dollar does that help you get gas  im sorry i urge you to not drive your car here p ampwheneveryouwant,2.0
36001,kenaroth  prospects huh how coolcant wait until next week ,0.0
36002,i had a wonderfully productive day  soooo ready for tonight with jmals,0.0
36003,im soooooo tired and sooo lazy right now itsphils party was a blast tho ,0.0
36004,littlebugjewels uh ohim sorry  passes quotspecialquot coffee across bench,0.0
36005, will do ,0.0
36006,dang temperature over  feel like crap too ,2.0
36007,im sad fuck i cant spell,2.0
36008,every time i am at work i become obsessed with killing myself i dont know how else to say it im  and recently became aware that my current job is dead end beyond making me feel hopeless career wise it makes me feel weak as an individual because in my heart i know i am a writer yet i am on this fucking lame ass inauthentic bullshit path of being a marketeri often fantasize about getting fired disappearing into the woods for a month by myself and with no cell phone and trying to figure out what makes me happyat my current job i am treated very well by my boss who is an extremely nice person i dont even have a lot of work barely any in fact last thing i am is overworkedbut here i am with such simple tasks before me and im unable to do them because im like whats the point can i just kill myself does it look like the rafters would hold my weighti know i am being dramatic plenty of people would kill to be in my position and i hate myself for being entitled and weak but i cannot even do minimum work in this job anymore i just become obsessed with killing myself and i am not sure what to do,3.0
36009,downtownrob live sunday karaoke at henrys its deff my top  karaoke bars ,0.0
36010,ugh babysitting ,2.0
36011,back i ate too much ,2.0
36012,manojranaweera im sure even the experiences of the  half would make a good blog post  ,0.0
36013,izzyjishere haha yeah i hate seeing him in pain so i do what i can and i send hugs to you too hun i hate seeing that youre unhappy ,2.0
36014,treasaint   poor kitties hate the heat so dont they vinnie and fab are all floopy ,2.0
36015,i am  watching cheaters  waiting for five hearbeats to be put in dvd player cant watch it in my room my tv was made in  no plug ,2.0
36016,sdanik ugh i dont want strangers in my neighborhood  door to door is a super creepy way to look for biz,2.0
36017, ha ha how sweet of u im aight really going to bed now tho op so tweet me up tomorrow or sumthin  gnight,0.0
36018,everythings so clean now ,0.0
36019,link to my videos was wrong try httpwwwyoutubecomrevolutiongym that should work now ,0.0
36020,fever  still need some rest ,2.0
36021,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
36022,hlame i hear innis and gunn has that effect on engines when used as a fuel source ,0.0
36023,i worked out this morning just left target and ate a toblerone and drank a vitamin water life is good ,0.0
36024,feeling sad tonight 👍,2.0
36025,elizabethpw well no worse than the little packets of chemicals we put in our coffee but tactically grosser i agree ,0.0
36026,thanks  i will check into a train next time its better for the environment too  ,0.0
36027,enjoying the sun and talking with a friend over the phone ,0.0
36028, wei   dn pala maezell ea ,0.0
36029,sorry prince charming no headphones for you   but eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee   ,2.0
36030,does anyone else have a complete lack of energy i mean im sure someone does how do you deal with it im  and feel closer to  after a day of work even working in an office im completely drained by the time i eat something its only  or so and im ready to sleep again just getting in the shower feels like climbing a small mountain i can sleep  hours and the next day its the same story i really feel like i have no life andor its passing me by while im helpless in bed anyone,3.0
36031,  if you and bittersweetm are coming over for breakdinner id serve something more sophisticated than chococereal,0.0
36032,whoaa oh snap  am i should be out partying yet  oh well imma watch transformers amp go to bed it always put me to sleep lol,2.0
36033,please dont leave me alone im  im a sad normal person im lonelyplz be my friend,3.0
36034,lesleyer working hard i understand we all love the promo videos you ladies have for the album ,0.0
36035,i have hurt everyone around me with my perpetual lies and my ptsd from childhood abuse has engrained this behavior i lie about even the smallest mundane things day to day to help fuel self worth and feel better i have hurt everyone around me even manipulated them to cover lies up and make them question their intuition and i feel extremely low and really want to reverse the behavior my partner is potentially gone forever because of all of the lies and manipulation hes told me i have gaslighted him the whole relationship and he isnt wrong and going through the past abuse and how i got to this point is deeply depressing and im trying to see the light through all of it but i am deeply low and do not have a lot of support,3.0
36036,chatting with friends ,0.0
36037,oh dear is it followfriday again already ill have to do mine a bit later ,0.0
36038,apparently im depressed but i dont always feel depressed i dont really feel like explaining all my feelings right now but basically i went to a therapist and she said im depressed there are definitely moments when i feel really upset and reflect on things and think okay yeah i guess im depressed but when im in a good mood or something i kind of just forget it and it doesnt really make sense to me i dont know is that what you guys feel like how often do you feel legitimately sad ,3.0
36039,dizzlewp oh yeah zarinah rools  shes def one a my tweet besties,0.0
36040,stupid boystheyre sostupid ,2.0
36041, im more or less trying to stop depression naps but yes thank you friend,1.0
36042,ive come to the realisation that i dont actually like anybody i have been trying to hard to be friends with people but i dont even like them i am not enough of anything to fit in their groups i manage to find the worst things in people all i feel is envy and resentment towards others because they dont feel the pain that ive been subjected to since i was  i genuinely hate other people and not in an edgy way in a sincere way i just cant jive with most people most people are fucking annoying and stupid im probably one of those people i guess im a hypocritemy only friend has slowly replaced me with her boyfriend and her other friends things that we used to have fun doing together she only does with them now i guess i am not worthy of the good times we used to have i dont expect her to consider me her best friend that would be selfish but it would be nice if i wasnt a last resort she is the only person i have even if she may be a drain on my emotional wellbeing there is absolutely nothing i want to do with my life other than enjoy it but this is not what people want to hear when they ask you if youre going to schooli resent everyone and hope they all die where the fuck was everyone when i needed help who was there for me when my dad died of cancer at  who was there for me when i was practically homeless no one no one cared i fucking hate being alive fuck this world,3.0
36043,be sure to drink your ovaltine ,0.0
36044,bluerose   follows back,0.0
36045,i dont like thick as theives by short stack why couldnt they keep break dance not hearts theives dosent even sound like them ,2.0
36046,vivatregina the conjunction of mental health amp beauty have you heard of cat marnell i love her writing its so raw,0.0
36047,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
36048,abdesignsinc good afternoon from the future  im from the uk ,0.0
36049,carlosbarbosa  boom boom  ,0.0
36050,maggiephilbin weve all been there  absolutely was a great programme,0.0
36051,damn he was so fine im sad all over again,1.0
36052,rt tsusurf r e a l life ,1.0
36053,at the lyceum  shows today ,0.0
36054,anyone doesnt talk to me for  hourme ur dead amp no one told me bc  wants me to suffer with my own anxiety for as long as possible,2.0
36055,trazadone not working does anyone take trazadone  mg i take that for sleep and it does nothing i need something that will work what should i do,3.0
36056,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
36057,ambercadabra you are quoting princess bride yet another reason i luvs ya ,0.0
36058,xelis my last pair of dcs lasted four years they were perfect at the end until they broke apart  i have these httptwitpiccomxvkd,2.0
36059,quickest and painless way to die someone lmk your ideas thanks,3.0
36060,rt kmoranont young canadians are reaching out for mental health help more than ever investigation shows ,0.0
36061,  you cannot see pau florchiss sister but she was there with us ,0.0
36062,bergenlarsen glad you are feeling better ,0.0
36063,somewhere i dont need to feel guilty about being depressed i cant stand being around people and its ok because after a while they cant stand to be around me either youre always so negative sad  killing the mood just think positive and itll be okwhen you learn to be comfortable in your own self loathing and disconnect from the world everything else is almost insignificant cherry on top is the constant struggle of feeling guilty for how your behaviours and attitude affects others being stuck in your own head and trying to claw your way out is so tiresome ,3.0
36064,inviting people to come laugh with me at big brothers big sisters of the north bays napa valley comedy night june  ,0.0
36065,ordered keyboard tray slider cant wait to install it ,0.0
36066,guys sorry i missed woking just wasnt done at sky cant wait for a spin in the park blast a few london dynamo boys ,0.0
36067,mostleyharmless were going to die but upload anyway  i want to see tamaras reaction,0.0
36068,i now have my new phone wooi also have a throat infection ,2.0
36069,love is fucking me over every time not my main acc for obvious reasonslast year i visited a therapist i wouldnt call it a failure because i learned a lot about myself especially to go easy on me be more forgiving not blaming me for every slight mistake i make or any event i couldnt anticipate i expected that of myself realize that my childhood is the main reason but at the same time come to terms with your past and accept that it cant be changed anymore  i always knew that i have some baggage i need to deal with but i procrastinated to the point where you just have to make a move or you cant guarantee your own outcome  im pretty closed off emotionally even tho id like to give morebe more open my longest relationship lasted  months almost a decade ago the last one barely  and ended late last year the only two times i really wanted to be with a person in between it was if anything fwb or leave me the fuck alone  some people say that when a relationship ends that it wasnt meant to be its a bad fit etc but i think if a relationship between two people enters the fundamental realm having loveampappreciation for your so that transcends the urge just not to be lonely and having somebody to fuck the only way it can fail is your own expectation not necessarily towards your partner but towards your self   finding a partner that allows you to be the person you can be and want to be but losing faith in the process or at the slightest sign of conflict  relationships end when you lose sight of the person you are and your partner or you yourself cant recognize you anymore  this is where i fucked up even tho i should have known better by now and i have no idea how to deal with it  when i finally had the love i was always looking for i couldnt recognize it it twisted me i projected and lost it   its like it turns me i start to question everything myself the person their motives even though there is no reason to doubt anything  relationships dont come easy to me as mentioned above and if they end and i fuck up again i brood about it and am usually not emotionally available for god knows how long   i understand there are people who can go emotionally from one person to another in a really short span of time and just jump in i cant even grasp the concept of it   im still brainfucked   i started this by talking about my progress how to be more forgiving towards myself but i cant bring myself to forgive me for losing what i always needed again  i hunger for love for as long as i remember   i slowly figured it out when i was looking for something to love something to fulfill me something to give me purpose  i have a hard time being passionate about anything if it doesnt give me instant gratification or love   i think its a lack of faith and selfesteem   im tired of excuses but im stuck at the if only if only my parent gave a fuck and was mentally stable not raging narcissistic hypocritical if only she supported remotely anything i was interested in and didnt make me feel like its worthless it wouldnt have turned out like this  i have a couple of hobbies an ok job i dont really like it but it pays comfortably but dont really feel like i belong here  i have all these dreams plans theories that im pretty confident would work out if id just put the effort in it but without knowing of the outcome i cant be fucked doing anything contradicting i know  everything else i pick up i do for love only to realize in the process that this isnt something i want to do for myself but rather hoping external love will find me like that eventually following this i lose interest question everything and im back at square   but in this regard i want to do nothing for myself   everything i do in what form whatsoever has maybe this way ill feel love or this helps me to continue existing as an ulterior motive but i never feel it or stop before the feeling could kick in i dont know  as long as i have to deal with this i wont find the love im looking for and ill reject most people who like me for the way i am when im down really how am i because theyre liking a person i secretly despise and try my hardest to move on from  the really few times i was feeling myself for a couple of months led to the partnership i needed but i couldnt keep it up and reverted to the person i hate  sounds corny but if you dont love yourself someone else most likely wont either is very true  in what direction do i move   i know there isnt a blueprint or map i know that going back to therapy wont solve anything is expensive af and not covered by insurance it felt like the ones i visited had a hard time to convey to me what i mentioned above but maybe thats just me  i already had a testrun with antidepressiva i was against this for the longest time because i thought theyd really alter my personality and for some reason there are parts of it i like but they didnt do shit  it feels like im running out of time   thanks for listening to me vent i appreciate it,3.0
36070,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
36071,i  would have killed myself if it werent for the student loan debts as my familys financial condition is poor im suffering from severe depression im an introvert and have less number of friends was in a relationship for  years i had put in so much effort into it but she left me  months ago now shes in other relationship and im nightmares sleepless nights cant focus cant work  properly so basically theres no point in being alive  im totally unable to handle this grades have gone down im not happy anymore in my life everything sucks in my lifei could have killed myself  months ago but i really dont want to burden my parents they dont deserve itso im trying to get my shit together for at least  years where i can pay off loans and leave some money to parents as i got placed in a it company till then i have postponed my thoughts for my parents even though i dont want to live this unhappy life its the least i could do to help them financiallythanks for reading this ,3.0
36072,ericamayer it was in my head last night lol ,0.0
36073,didnt lose too much thankfully  but will be here even later ,2.0
36074,sangriaz i shouldve thought about that earlier i guess there is no  solution ,2.0
36075,yay jonas youtube account is back fuck those haters excuse my language i dont normally curse ,0.0
36076,ruehl to close all stores by year end   httpbitlygmwbr,2.0
36077,chicken fried rice ,0.0
36078,oh my my my  my favorite song by you ,0.0
36079, thats not good need to get something in there for you so that you can get off that wheel ,2.0
36080,gorgeous day once again  aaaah i can acctually wear shorts ,0.0
36081,suffering rum and beach withdrawal  why does work suck so bad this week,2.0
36082,fuck new job wants me to train tonight and i was supposed to go out relax tonight ,2.0
36083,heres what makes me depressed something ive come to realize as i wake up and scroll facebook is no one has original thoughts anymore or independent feelings everything is based on a post or share i find myself literally lost how people can basically worship social networking and have these idealistic fantastical views on what liferelationships and parenting should be its not what you think it is on the internet its not the cute memes its not the adorable photoshopped beach date or the perfectly  beautiful baby that doesnt puke ever its messy heart breaking disgusting and fucking downright naturally beautiful fuck this online standardization of what we should accept and what things could be and fuck you all for accepting it finding comfort in a post or qoutememe or even knowledge is one thing but to try to embellish in it and base your life and expectations of others around what you see or read on a social networking site is beyond ludicrous i could go on and on but im going back to bed rant over,3.0
36084,my dad still isnt home from trying to fix the power from this storm and now another one is here  ,2.0
36085,no longer hungrybut i still want more foodsis myt bring brownies for me later todayand i plan to visit a certain boyteeheehee ,0.0
36086,rennexx im watching old episodes hahaha  the new one doesnt come out here till tomorrow sucks i know ,2.0
36087,bitoffun check that thread  good news at last ,0.0
36088,comedydave thank u  keeping me updated  not near a tv ,2.0
36089, craighepburn you know i am a happy camper when googlewave enables us to work more wikily together  co ,0.0
36090,  my dads dog is still in the cone of shame ,2.0
36091,whoa that was amazing ,0.0
36092,wha happens when you report suicidal thoughts on new medication ive been on an intro dose of mirtazapine for a week now and suicide is all i think about what will happen if i tell someone will they try to commit me take me off the medice change the does or taper me off if you experienced this on any medication did you tell someone and what did they do,3.0
36093,mrtaximan im so so sorry sending you my thoughts and some virtual hugs ,2.0
36094,christinelaurac ha ha ha im stalking you right back mofo love you ,0.0
36095,i wish i didnt have to work tomorrow  id ditch it to buy tickets from tom delonge,2.0
36096,back and forth between im fine and whats wrong with me does anybody else feel this waysome days ill go out or see my friends or just have a moment to myself where i feel alright and just say to myself that im ok and that i everything i was worried about or thought was wrong with me was just me overreacting and that in reality everythings fine and im happy with the way things are then ill wake up the next day or come home and then that feeling hits again where nothings right and that i should just give up on tryingmaybe its just me and i shouldnt feel this way half the time when i feel like shit i feel even worse because i feel like i know i shouldnt be like this but i am maybe i shouldnt even be posting here cause im just making this all up in my headmost days i just feel lost,3.0
36097,im back from the wedding reception becky called me told me that angelina jolie asked her hubby who i am  he told her your biggest fan,0.0
36098,tweetless ,2.0
36099,kileycyrus i hate you ,0.0
36100,my ok button has officially stopped working i think im mad now ,2.0
36101,does not like the idea of stock audit tomorrow ,2.0
36102,archnialeitl hello my friendyou found me on gbw how are you doing glad to see you twitter but i have to learn german ,0.0
36103,gacelapeters aw  what happened,2.0
36104,vmperella  i understand the tradeoff may be time to invest in fake id jk ,2.0
36105,ahhh im hungy amp i have a headache o crap i think i should start a diet  myselfim getting a little big in the butt there lol ,0.0
36106,rt realdonaldtrump had a very good and interesting meeting at the white house with ag sulzberger publisher of the new york times spen,0.0
36107,lol zito gave up lackeys  ml hit very nice ,0.0
36108, taeggukxx i did a lil but im still sad,2.0
36109,asking for help suuucks why does nobody take anything serious until its serous depression i can shut myself away from everyone sleep all days etc and people know that ive got depression but never take it serious unless i was too cut and then people flock in to help with eating disorders for me anorexia its all fine and dandy people just tell me to eat more but if i was to force myself to up chuck then people would see this as a serious issue i feel so low and ive asked for help but damn the idea of getting this over with so people see how i am feelingliving is getting temptingim not gunna do the following im just ventinghave any of you guys felt like this,3.0
36110,rt qnyembe does anyone ever get sad because some dogs probably need glasses but they cant say so they living in blur😞💔,2.0
36111,lucichick  of course you will be my friend because you are amazing like that  how are you lovely,0.0
36112,let it be known that a cute grandma talking to me in ukrainian is super triggering for me i have still not come down off the anxiety haha,1.0
36113,rt monicabrighton this is the  time in  years that all  branches are republican  caused the great depression  caused the g,2.0
36114,shayface yay me too i promise ill be  ryan tonight ,0.0
36115,rt halflife lowkey one of my favs 🖤✨ httpstcobdeuhvmdtg,0.0
36116,rt phautefeuille maïs le stress hydrique est un accident relativement fréquent dans les sols à  faible réserve hydrique ou insuffisamm,2.0
36117,just watched quarantine with anthony i liked it makes me want to see the original called  ,0.0
36118,argh i feel sick again for the second time this week go away flu get lost blah ,2.0
36119,im resting   hr then im going  open up my circle ,0.0
36120,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
36121,cannot wait for the one hour season finale of the hills  promise no spoilers though ,0.0
36122,morning people how u doing today and what r u doing today ,0.0
36123,bisonoface whyd you give me the  face lol,2.0
36124,sore throat ,2.0
36125, smokin is bad n expensive but i enjoy smokinits crazy im tottin up how much cash i save n puttin it in my full service fund ,0.0
36126,really stressed out ,2.0
36127,going to sleep havent sleep all night happy monday all have a really nice day  marshadewi byasa sa ngembek gwhhe udh baikaan ,0.0
36128,im gonna need google maps to cooperate ,2.0
36129,gotta sleep to wake up early tom  noooooo,2.0
36130,quotonly those who have learned the power of sincere amp selfless contribution experience lifes deepest joy true fulfillmentquot tony robbins ,0.0
36131,boddingtons cool would hate that n hope ud tell me ,0.0
36132,officialcharice hi ,0.0
36133, randall laid down around  or so and hes still asleep bless his heart,2.0
36134,i cant change my twitter background or pic ,2.0
36135,you have a choice i remember clearly the night that i had my first panic attack it was  december  and i was depressed it was christmas everyone was having a great time and i was suffocated by negative thoughts depression anxiety agony and most of all guilt i have always been a sensible person and i remember when i was a kid i used to tell my mother everything bad that i did even if it was soemthing stupid like stepping on a bug i would confess my sins and then i would feel better but i hated it i hated that i was the only one who couldnt keep a secret from his mom because the feelings of guilt were to strong and wouldnt leave me alone it was horrible that night the feelings of guilt and anxiety built up very quickly i couldnt think straight i started to hyperventilate and shiver i started screaming and shouting that i was going to die and i definetly thought i would i somehow managed to go to sleep and for that night i was safe so much of a christmasthe next week it happened again but this time it was even worse i had no one to talk to apart from my parents but as i said before i didnt want to confess i wanted to find another way to cope with my feelings and learn to live without having the urge to tell my parents everything i did during the attacks i also thought about suicide i saw it as the only way to solve my problems but a part of me wanated to keep going one night i told myself im going to kill myself and the moment i said it outloud i knew it was a crazy idea it couldnt end that way it didnt have to and so i made a choice i chose to fight i chose to fight against myself and now i won it took me a year but now im living the life that i want i learned how to cope with negative feelings and depression i read books watched videos meditated did yoga started going to the gym and finally after a year i did it and do you want to know how i knew that it was over apart from my attacs going away well i confessed to my best friend and the moment i did i didnt feel free i didnt feel better in any way because i had leraned to live with my demons and i was stronger i had won i love you all guys and the only thing that i want to do now that i no longer suffer from depression is to help you i want to increase happiness and positivity in everyones life stay strong stay positive and dont forget to ask for help it is a noble and decent act im always here for you if i did it so can you,3.0
36136,theellenshow congrats on  million followers ,0.0
36137,ever lied in bed for so long it makes you feel sick ive been in bed all day because im severely depressed but now its time to sleep and i just feel physically sick from lying in bed i definitely still wont leave my bed tho,3.0
36138,finally getting help i have suffered with anxiety and depression for a long time i cut for the first time in junior high im  now and have been cutting ever since my emotions and feelings have been out of control for most of my life three years ago after having severe panic attacks and my mom walking in on me cutting i begged for help and received nothing but a prescription for the past year i have had depression and anxiety so bad that i have been contemplating my life i have dreams about dying i wonder about how good it would feel to end these feelings i have for good i fanaticize about wrecking my car and dying on impact while im driving this is the worst i have ever been and my obsession with leaving this earth started to scare me so today i made an appointment with a doctor and a therapist because im scared of it getting too late i dont want to die and i dont want to be sad anymore,3.0
36139,says doesnt it sucks when you have a question or a plea for help that goes unanswered about as closed to being paralyzed as you can get ,2.0
36140,rt aintrob boy fortnite was breaking the internet before drake got on stream with ninja thats the reason he got on stream with ninja ht,0.0
36141,its giving me full on anxiety that ciara is outside joe spoons in ibiza omg,2.0
36142,igotpinkeye will do  willl do,0.0
36143,im confused and need help since my gf and i broke up i havent found someone cool for me but last year  i met a girl shes cute and we have a lot of chemistry but she had an unhealthy relationship with his ex full of jealousy cheating vengeance and all of that we have been hanging out a lot lately but sometimes we dont text each other thats weird but idc a couple weeks ago she told me she like me and i told her i like her but idk what to do bc i dont want to hurt her like her ex but i dont want her to hurt me either so idk what to do i should arrange a friends with benefits situation or i should go for the formal thing with her i hadnt slept the past weeks bc i had been having nightmares of her cheating on me if we were something idk what to do and i feel depressed about it,3.0
36144,mileycyrus come to per� ,0.0
36145,bing translator has nothing to offer for thai stuffs ,2.0
36146,today is a blessed day ,0.0
36147,hypedupcat yes traveling faster than the speed of light does have its advantages ,0.0
36148,what helps my depression causes my depression,2.0
36149,grahamny love mr flexible in the background all tuned in to watch you knock em dead ,0.0
36150,is there something wrong with multiply  i cant view who viewed my site hate it,2.0
36151,peachyoctava peachy mana ang training ahhh may  na iannounce ang spb sayang if naa pa ka dri ikaw jud akong inominate ,2.0
36152,kroonoverdrive thanks for letting me know        hope you have a good evening sir   ,2.0
36153,oh man im gonna miss fab on  amp park  ,2.0
36154,byrobot it was depression drugs if anyone was wondering,2.0
36155,merchcon   when these coming in these r tight ,0.0
36156,kimkardashian i have i think you could pull off too ,0.0
36157,on the train going to sundsvall ,0.0
36158,starrgirlxo no dont be im sorry for upsetting you ,2.0
36159,i really need some place to vent it all out hi i realized this a couple of days ago there used to be this time when id be excited about things when id enjoy things when id be happyid look forward to the future be it the smallest of things like meeting my cousins or a new superhero movie there was always something that kept me going id never be gloomy or constantly worried like i am right now id not have weird thoughts like wanting to jump off from my  floor balcony i have weird parents my dad has become an over protective prick who loses his shit everytime i have to leave home and go out even for a few hours partly because i used to fall sick as a child and hes grown to be a super protective father he means well but its become incredibly tough to live with when someone wants to check your temparature as soon as you wake up to see if you have fever yes i do that every dayi liked this girl for the longest time around  years to be precise i never had the guts to tell the way i feel to her one night we got talking and i did ever since then weve been together i felt like this would be something that would give me hope make me feel nice a person to whom i could open up be honest with to talk to but that went for a tosswe hardly talk i havent met her in  weeksshe replies to my texts once in  hours with a one word respomoss something along the lines of lulzz ive told her multiple times to please talk to me she said this is who she is and this is her being normal i know shes not lying her close friends tell me she does this too but i just cant go on like this from a career point of stance ive always wanted to make films to be a writerdirector ive loved films since a very young age but living where i live its not a sustainable option as getting a big break takes years and i cant afford that dad is retiring and then we wont have enough to even pay out our rent ill be the earning memberi dont know what to do i know quitting is not the optioni just want to be  happy,3.0
36160,mlblinedrives what was he a year old ,0.0
36161,i didnt get the job i recently heard about this really great job that i thought was absolutely perfect for me flexible schedule that worked with students and had benefits and a good starting pay looked like a great atmosphere as well i hate the job im working at right now i cant stand being there anymore but i cant quit because i need to pay bills i applied for the job and went to the interview i thought i did okay but i guess i was wrong because they didnt hire me i am just so sad and i dont know what to do i was telling everyone about it because i was so excited and i thought id get the job but i didnt this is just so sad and embarrassing and im really emotional and i just dont know what to do anymore that job was the one last hope of happiness that i could have and i couldnt do it because i wasnt good enough im sorry for the rant i just dont know what to do ,3.0
36162,dont want to shower smell like stuff  tomorrow can s a bag of ds,2.0
36163,i have the worst headache ,2.0
36164,no golf tournament tomorrow  well still going to the beach which is a good ,2.0
36165,fosters home for imaginary friends marathon final episodes  boooooo,2.0
36166,rt alierenee my depression is at an all time high ,2.0
36167,keep the bidding going all night it might entice me to make the clip longer and take new pics get up to  bids and it could happen ,0.0
36168,is ready to go home another hour yet ,2.0
36169,i now have gps on the motorcycle ,0.0
36170,jonasreyes i found a copy of your wedding video while sorting out dvds  watching it now,0.0
36171,i am afraid to seek proffesional help i have been struggling with depression for yearsover time it only got worsei know that i need to seek a therapist but i just dont have courage to do somy parents dont really belive meespecially my dadhis mother has schizophrenia and he claims how meds ruined her and basically tells me i dont have mental illness and shouldnt go to therapistso he was scaring me by telling me medication will ruin my life and will always make me drowsythats the bigest reason i am scared to go to a therapistthat meds will fuck me up,3.0
36172,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36173,andrewthomson anniebeee we are clearly all living the dream ,0.0
36174,jam jams movies oso and the babies   i am so glad i actually act my age dontos,0.0
36175,ursulastefanny need to tweet more often   ,0.0
36176,rt lifeaseva depression is diagnosed by a doctor and can be helped its not a sad twitter joke its not a relateable tweet stop joking a,1.0
36177,rt karandesatish आस करू नका भावांनो तुमची तुमच्या परिवाराला आणि समाजाला खूप गरज आहे 😓😓हात जोडून विनंती आहे भावांनो असे टोकाचे पाऊल उच,0.0
36178,rt  yo no que sad🖓 httpstcozsvxrllccs,2.0
36179,learning how to massage feet   girls  cupughhh ,0.0
36180,xbeckah aww right thanks ,0.0
36181,im tired u guuuuuyswhere was the weekend i lost it againgrrroh well at least its sunny outside ,0.0
36182,klhingley its faggots i miss most dont seem to sell them here ,2.0
36183,eyglo ill take  over  any day hello real person,0.0
36184,kimkardashian u got me feeling horrible now ,2.0
36185,legitmuscle  thank you i value your support amy penndragon studios enjoy ,0.0
36186,mileycyrus you are a bad girl miley dont get your feet on the dashboard  jk,0.0
36187,lilyroseallen go get an allergy test they wipe peanut butter on you amp stuff ranqueer im allergic to chocolate ,2.0
36188,beach day ,0.0
36189,i thought my stalker had left me but it turns out he just took a five month hiatus ,2.0
36190,ive been told that i am like a therapist  im also starting to feel like one x,0.0
36191,everyday is pointless what do i get out of the dayi wake up go to work where i clean for  hours come home eat sleep wake up and sit around a for a few hours laying in bed on my phone wishing i could get up and play a video game and boy do i wish i could its all i want to do every day but i just dont and if i start i usually play for  minutes and quit i have so many games where im mid tutorial still instead of playing games though i lay around eat again and sleepliterally just whats the point nothing about that makes me happy i dont hate my job but i wish i didnt have to get up in the mornings itd be so much better if i could just stay laying in bed its  and im in bed knowing that ill have these same thoughts tomorrow night since theyre also becoming part of the routine ,3.0
36192,isplayer has died sorry ,2.0
36193,purplehayz i have  twitter applications on my phone i miss the lappy ,2.0
36194,greeks season is over   but returns in august ,0.0
36195,i thought my depression was gone i thought my depression was gone  my intense sadness and emptiness that affected me almost everyday for three years gradually faded away these past few months and i thought that i was finally out of the hole that i was in the truth is that ive sunk even deeper into it and that ive simply learned to ignore iti dont enjoy any of the stuff i do anymore i thought it was because i was doing something wrong the truth is because of my depressionthe games i used to play as a child that i still wish i could enjoy are just unfun to mei wanted to learn how to play guitar a few years ago that didnt work  then i wanted to learn how to program that didnt work  then i wanted to learn piano that didnt work  then i wanted to learn arthow to draw man that didnt work eitheri couldve been a fucking guitarist i couldve been a programmer i couldve been a pianist i couldve fucking been an artist and i gave up because of my lack of motivationdepression fucking sucks i wish i could just go back to being a kid and be able to enjoy shit like i used to but now things are just okay and mostly boring for me its like eating bland food nothing good nothing badit sucks it really sucks i wish someone could pull me out of this hole thats swallowing me but no ones capable of doing that literally no one sure someone can possibly get me feeling a bit better but ill just sink back into the hole not long afterthe hard truth to accept is that there is no way for me to escape depression ill have it for the rest of my life and theres nothing i can do about itill never kill myself but im not opposed to dying,3.0
36196,super sad boy hours me at ,2.0
36197,my sister just left that makes me sad ,2.0
36198, thanks charmaine how was the interviews still none for me yet ,2.0
36199,ashleytisdale why can´t you stay any longer in germany  or maybe you can take me to la that´s much better ,0.0
36200,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
36201,wilycutie i spotted your addiction  featured here ,0.0
36202,cookiemerrygold im the one who got a pm   what could it be  o,2.0
36203,jonathanrknight glad u had fun i was worried boutcha ,0.0
36204,finally finished that topic quick revision break then on to how far did heath change the conservative party ,2.0
36205,toodus whoai gotta try that quotapp envyquot  ,0.0
36206,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
36207,heres to all of you on this fine evening cheers hope you all have a great night ,0.0
36208,rt entrust depression isnt always suicide notes and pill bottles sometimes its all smiles and fake laughter depression isnt always e,2.0
36209,i love my sisters coffee  she put spices and stuff in it ,0.0
36210,life should feel good im supposed to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow and my work life is going great i planned out a really good weekend with fantastic hotel stay an exceptional restaurant for dinner a great after dinner cocktail spot and an amazing brunch the morning afterim also transferring work locations in a week that will put me closer to a promotion and help me refocus my career path unfortunately ive just cried for the last hour or so roughly  us est reflecting on my life up until now and i would love some type of escape ill never live up to what im supposed to be or be everything to the people i care about due to my past decisions and mistakes and that make me not want to exist anymore i always make personal promises and oaths to not let down or disappoint the people i love my girlfriend and my children but deep down i know i cant keep the promises all of the time when my daughter my second child was born i swore to myself that i would never leave her side i didnt want to go through what i went through with my first child and first marriage i wanted to be better than my past unfortunately i had already made the choice to be unfaithful in my unhappiness which i was notified of on the day my daughter was born that resulted in the birth of my third child this was almost five years ago ive made it incredibly difficult to be a good personfatherhusband by having three children by three different people the third being my hopefully future wife i cant be there  for all of them and it crushes me the more i think about it the more i feel that they may be better without me all together i should be happy with the progress ive made and how ive done my best to maintain my relationships with my children but i never feel like its enough and i feel like i let them down daily because im not there for them cooking them breakfast or taking them to school or helping them with homework etcthis has turned into a ramble session and i apologize but i dont have anyone else to vent to  posts on reddit are all i have,3.0
36211,btw guys who play guitar are autosexy ,0.0
36212,eating lunch at larrys with kirsten ,0.0
36213,kingofankh lol i concede your childhood was tougher ,0.0
36214,frustrated with hiding depression i cant talk to anyone about my depression or tell people how i really feel it drives me crazy sometimes people ask how are you and the real answer would be oh i just want to kill myself but you cant say that people just freak out they dont understand it makes me feel so lonely i feel like a liar and guilty i feel ashamed of my depression im so frustrated with being depressed im fighting so hard but it feels like a loosing battle ,3.0
36215,queensland i graduated from uq and havent been there since  pls refresh my memory on how to get to stradbroke island ,0.0
36216,ha i love this song makes me think of my friends  reblip of benyasbabe  ,0.0
36217,repinging msqueenn freshprinceofbmore s t f u   thats how you feel now baby ,2.0
36218,is gonna miss true blood tonight ,2.0
36219,well i lost like always kory jeff then chelsie i never win at games ,2.0
36220,rt thatgirlkp i have anxiety about moving i fckn hate moving,1.0
36221,lotay lt love garlic ,0.0
36222,arms and hands hurt i have read about body aches in this sub a lot  but not much about pain in arms and hands  does anyone else have this  my biceps ache my wrists and hands it gets worse when i get real stressed and almost goes away when there is no pressure  i feel clumsy and uncoordinated  probably going to get it checked out at the doctor  but wanted some perspective from those here  thanks for any help you can give on this  ,3.0
36223,xvalcx guud luck val enjoy the hols aheadive got  more weeks to go ,2.0
36224,missxmarisa i think i know now ,0.0
36225,why is this english homework so hard  i seem to be getting nowhere,2.0
36226,no informations about the ipod touch  jailbreak gt hole is gone just waitampsee ,2.0
36227,myocarditis ruined my life im  years old and i think ive been depressed since i was maybe  or  i was only diagnosed about a year ago thoughdespite feeling apathetic and dead inside at almost all times i tried not to let it drag me down even though i always feel like staying in bed all day ive always forced myself to study do sports travel as a result id say i had a pretty exciting life if it wasnt for depressioni was a good student im currently studying mathematics in uni and i was in great shape im a certified scuba diving and i travel a lot often in adventurous ways hitchhiking couchsurfing for example last summer i spent a week in the middle of the borneo jungle with a native tribe out of sheer luck i became friends in a bar with a guy who was born there which was an extremely unique experience i felt like indiana jones lolwith all these adventures plus me being a good student and etc i always had the hope that once i managed to become happy if it ever happened my life would be freaking awesomehowever about  months ago i woke up with heart pain went to the hospital and was diagnosed with myocarditis heart infection its a rare disease and its very random it can happen to anyone regardless of age fitness etc i mean i was young healthy and never had any prior heart diseasei stayed in the hospital for a week missed  important midterms my professor recused to let me do them other time wtf even after i was out of the hospital i felt so tired that i couldnt pay attention or study properly also i cant do any exercise for at least  months as a result of all this im falling out of shape i got really bad grades this semester im still tired all the time and my heart hurts once in a while im always scared that i wont recover properly and will have heart problems for the rest of my live what if i wont be able to run or swim ever againso before that i was depressed but it was a high functioning depression of some kind since i managed to keep living life by sheer willpower but now im depressed and my life sucks,3.0
36228,i want to die and its all i can think about i just want to quit why is the concept of quitting so frowned upon  when i watch tv shows and a death occurs all i an do is reflect on how it would be if it was me  i should be dead i have no reason not to be  no one wants me here  my partner seems to hate me i cant fathom why  my mother doesnt care what happens to me when all ive done is listen to her and heed her advice  i go to all the effort to study a very difficult degree and my colleagues seem to hate me whether i take command or take it easy  maybe i really am just a horrible person  i just cant connect with people beyond a superficial level apparently  after years and years of being burned im done im tired of not seeing my efforts reciprocated im tired of being hung up to dry by my very few remaining friends my family and worst of all my partner of  and a half fucking years im just so fucking tired all thats left for me is to not wake up,3.0
36229,how to stop the internal monologue inside my head its driving me insane sometimes first of all im not sure if this is directly related to depression but i do feel that my inner voice has worsen my mental health condition i also started to notice this after i got depressed i hope this is the right place to askwhenever im conscious theres a voice talking to myself in my mind almost all the time especially when im alone sometimes its telling me negative thoughts and sometimes its simply just analyzing everything thats happening to me at the moment instead of a thought its more like a clear voice that i cant help hearing its so loud sometimes that i almost find it noisy and distracting although there isnt a real voice at all how can i shut it down i tried meditating but its quite difficult to concentrate without hearing the voices i can only go on for like  seconds then racing thoughts start so do the voices my internal monologue makes me so tired its like arguing with myself for hours a day and that makes me even more afraid of being alone with my thoughts,3.0
36230,rt  is this taylor and her cats or no because im getting anxiety waiting for proof shes alive and if this is fake im ,2.0
36231,lost my keys getting a magic shirt this week gooooo magiiiiiic  see ya later lakers lol,0.0
36232,georginamoussa ohh i love getting new frames even though i dont actually need them just wear them for fun ,0.0
36233,mylissadd i liked clay dont get me wrong but hes a little too muzak for me  adam levine  in my top  ,0.0
36234,davidarchie i live in california but now in san diego  wish i can go though,2.0
36235,jennettemccurdy hey jennette i love you soo muchh you rock so much i hope u reply  ,0.0
36236,thinking that this is a good moment to smile  lifes good xxx,0.0
36237,mcflyharry looking forward to july  gonna be amazing please could you wish me luck for my ballet exam tomorrow im so nervous  xx,2.0
36238,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
36239,rt francsbes suisse laide au suicide frappe aux portes des prisons,2.0
36240,out in the yard revisingwith yep you guessed it a cider ,0.0
36241,thank god im not a saxon ,0.0
36242,httpjegramybrutecom  level lt rakip tanımıyor  re ,0.0
36243,how do you remain functional i am beyond depressed to the point that all my emotions have shut off and im on an auto pilot but i cant function ive been too sick to go to work and i need the money but even that is not motivating me to go i feel extremely dissociated i dont want to move or eat or do anything but shut off and sleep,3.0
36244,tarabear and dont forget the high temperature as it is a flu  ,0.0
36245,djlezlee i missss u ,2.0
36246,timiiikapp cheated on the spanish quiz  bahaa,0.0
36247, h i g h amp dippin in the truck amp these hott glasses,0.0
36248,booo school tomorrow  and lame awards ceremony thingybut at least there should be dessert d good but bad at the same time,2.0
36249,oh im always up for a sweet treat ,0.0
36250,space shuttle atlantis is landing today woop might not see it as im working ,2.0
36251,sigh escaped this time but within  months im going to have to have botox again ,2.0
36252,candytx ok im jealous but enjoy yourself amp have a great vacation ,0.0
36253,my favorite place in the world  favorite band and solo artist and wasnt let go because of the junior ,2.0
36254,just got my fups fold up ballet flats will be posting a review soon ,0.0
36255,pzmyers i am geek enough to be entranced by the thought of uploaded consciousness though ,0.0
36256,follow friday a nonmad ad man brianstorey via jgoneill ,0.0
36257,these things should have been planned months ago ,2.0
36258,well another day ends my son leaves for the west coast tomorrow  good night people,2.0
36259,  x,0.0
36260,in bop cant wait till dancing  really in the mood,0.0
36261,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
36262,nooooooo  ill be  miles from a tv for game  ,2.0
36263,seriously i think i have the worst food coma everbut im okay with it ,0.0
36264,rt marcushjohnson funny how the economic anxiety argument has gone right proud to lose their savings and jobs under trump if they are p,2.0
36265,im fucking sad as fuck gn,2.0
36266,johnshepherd needs more brits at the front or at least a half decent scrap for points scoring places ,2.0
36267,neechers depends on how long the drive is for you ,0.0
36268,christalnicole i know story of my life  ima go to the white party though,2.0
36269,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
36270,im hopeful that i can save at least  person from dealing with the headache of  viruses spyware andor malware by my tweets ,0.0
36271,how do you get yourself back from depression ive  been depressed for the past  years ever since i was with my ex ive been wanting to get better but at the same time its like im putting it off idk if its because im comfortable where im at and idk what will happen once im better but a year ago i actually almost tried to kill myself it was a half hearted attempt but i tried i took too many pain pills andi just wanted it all to end but i also didnt want to end it at the same time i know i can be better i just dont know how ,3.0
36272,hello rdepression im not sure how receptive this sub is to alternative treatment but i wanted to share what has helped me and will soon help millions worldwide hey rdepressionthanks for reading this post  it means a lot ive grappled with seasonal depression depression depression negative selftalk heavy selfdoubt and the list goes on and on im sure you all can empathize or not with me  at the very least im sure you all know what im speaking about when i was a teenager  years i was diagnosed with adhd and minor depression to remedy this i was prescribed vyvanse i was told this would help with the adhd and the depression it did not i thought all i needed to do was take more or get prescribed more and i ended up being on the hook for taking  a day way too muchtwothree years later i finally had the insight that i either have to deal with the underlying issues or im going to be taking this medication for the rest of my life which in the meantime was killing my hunger making me lose a significant amount of weight and just horrible horrible side effects i am  and at the time weighed  and thought i was healthy scary stuff sunken eyes to top it all off too after realizing i needed to get off this stuff i decided to go cold turkey  not the best idea and withdrawals are a bitch but happy i did it fast forward to a couple of years ago at the time i was still dealing with underlying issues of depression  whatever they were and i tried meditation yoga breath work you name it  i tried it it wasnt until new years eve of  that i found a cure that works for me that cure was and is psilocybin mushrooms i know the stigma that it was in popular culture but i also see the shift of perception of it with new studies and push for legalization in certain states with that said i want to let everyone out there know to look into this if they have tried alternative routes without success do your research and it could help you drastically soon it will be legal in multiple states and this will become the new standard in mental health until then though there are a few legal psilocybin retreats that work with therapy and wanted to share this podcast episode about just that and the personal journey the guest goes on to dedicate herself to this beautiful substancei wish you all the best in your journeys and hope nothing but happiness going forward podcast episode ,3.0
36273,uuuurrrrggggghhhh  some mothers children i tell u  ,2.0
36274,rt landsrauhl i cant believe as fans someone whos supposed to support and want happiness for the fav are wishing depression and for h,0.0
36275,accepting the idea of suicide is liberating am i right what do you think i have tried twice and accepted the idea i will die i the coming months it is so liberating i feel freei feel alive alive thats so good,3.0
36276,  got shut down ,2.0
36277,going to the beach its a hot one here in edinburgh ,0.0
36278,want to update to   but want to keep my  unlock  hope the dev team dont take too long ,2.0
36279,gonzalezjen yeah they did   to ,2.0
36280,bradausrotas lmfaooo okay enjoy  ill be there in a couple of hours,0.0
36281,just want to vent  theres really no reason for me to be depressed at the moment i just got into college most things are paid for thanks to financial aid but for some reason ive been dwelling on some things from my past and i think im falling hard into some kind of episode everyday i wish some kind of major accident would happen so that i would die which unfortunate is a  in a million kinda chance ive been depressed before but ive never sought out any help because im usually the one in the family who looks like that have it together but lately ive been finding harder and harder to get up go to class do homework for classes i used to love shower even brush my teeth as dumb as that sounds im a freshman in college failing all my classes right now already and i dont want what ive worked for for the past couple years to go to waste just because i couldnt find the motivation theres no way i can look at my family who look up to me because im going to college and they couldnt and tell them i failed yet i still cant get out of bed to go to class wtf is up  again i just wanted to vent and if anybody has any advice on how to get out of this or if anybody else wants to vent feel free to comment have a great day ,3.0
36282,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
36283,jaykpurdy have fun ,0.0
36284,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
36285,my little sister said something that reminded me of me when i was younger well tmr is my  birthday but never really liked celebrating even since i was little also i have no friends to celebrate with not to mention im coming down from smoking my thc cart but moral of the story is my sister was talking to her dad basically her dad said happy almost birthday she said something like papa what age he gonna be after that something like that and he was talking about how important  years and how he remembered it blah blah she then said something like she was going to be  then she said after mom then me then what what happens after that then she said ohh then someone and someone and someone and i just thought how i used to think about that stuff when i was younger death and i still to this day think about death a lot pretty much everyday when i was younger i was confused about what happened after you die i was raised catholic when i was younger i would go to church sometimes and just was made to believe and kinda hoped that there was a heaven or i thought when you died its just pitch black and u hear nothing never really got the concept that everyone u loved would also die i always felt confused now i feel differently now that im older and just always hate thinking about this stuff but i just constantly think about death i have horrible anxiety just ruins life for me been having suicidal thoughts but i know i wont do anything to hurt myself growing up i never really had anyone but my mother siblings and cousins my father an alcoholic and upbringing wasnt the most pleasant when ever i pass by a kid or kids i just think to myself damn they dont know it yet but they are going to fucking die when i was younger i just thought of it like that we all die and its a part of life now i think all of this ends everybody and everything this universe will also come to an end i think shit who knows lol im saying all this stuff like im an adult but im no where near but damn im just ranting fuck it amirite we all die lol,3.0
36286,had a bad anxiety attack and decided to write about it to make me feel better i hate the month of january the high you get from the happiness of the holiday season wears off and youre forced to deal with the harsh realities that the new year brings i dont make new years resolutions or try to make every new year the best year of my life the best year of my life will happen when it is meant to happen i am not going to try to force unrealistic expectations into my year  i know i will only be setting myself up for disappointment why do we hold on to unrealistic expectations if we know theyll only lead us into the inevitable pit of despair we call reality for some people unrealistic expectations are the only reason we get out of bed in the morning life is pure shit but we keep a firm grasp onto this idea this hope that one day youll will wake up and life will be dramatically different life will be fun and worth living and you wont spend every waking moment anxious about the future but after so many rejected internship applications after so many failed auditions after so many flunked exams after so many months of trying to lose that body fat but maintaining the same dreadful weight after being ghosted by so many people that you poured your heart out too after another failed attempt at a meaningful relationship with another human being you lose your grip many of us have unrealistic expectations when we first meet someone especially if that certain someone is attractive in our head we imagine ourselves falling in love with them having a meaningful relationship getting married and having children but more often than not we never see this person again or never talk to them again or if we do they end up no being the person we expected them to be this is why i try to proceed with extreme caution when someone shows interest in me but more often than not i fall and i fall hard  and the unrealistic expectations take over why because i want to feel something and feel lovedeveryone wants to feel loved it is a feeling like no other but who am i to talk about feelingswhen i am devoid of any type of feeling  of the time i let this person into my life which of course leads to the inevitable act of intercourse and thenjust as quickly as it happenedthey leave and these unrealistic expectations fade into oblivion i feel like a fool for believing he would ever want anything more than my body then a few months later someone new comes around and the toxic cycle begins againunrealistic expectations can be used to escape our own mundane lives or avoid feelings the feeling of loneliness is arguably one of the worst feelings in the world the feeling that no one cares time and time again family members or friends tell you that they will always be there for you or will always be there to support you through your darkest times but during your darkest times the times when you feel the most alone they always seem to prove themselves wrongwhy am i being so pessimistic why am i being so dark im always told if i was more optimistic i would be happier fucking bullshit maybe it is because i was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain or maybe i have been fucked over one too many times by the wrong personbut i cant afford to be optimistic i cant afford to have unrealistic expectations or goals when im asked whats wrong and i attempt to put my feelings into words i am told life could be worse shit i know my life could be worse i could be living outside in an oversized cardboard amazon box for fucks sake being told life could be worse when my feelings that i try so hard to put into words are invalidated it only makes me feel worse and you wonder why i push people awaylate december and early january are arguably the worst times to browse social media granted any day or time of the week is a bad time to be on social media it is nothing more than a facade of who we think we are who we want others to believe we truly are but that is a whole other conversation in itself people share photos from their amazing yearphotos from a frat party on halloweekend bikini shots from their march break in bermuda and tranquil landscape photos from their study abroad trip in england i swear people spend a few months in a european country and it becomes apart of their personality i mean im like that too except my personality stems from my long weekend in a psych ward in  why isnt my life like that why are people living the life i should be living since elementary school i had this expectation of how my life would beattending a college in california where i would make tons of friends maybe go on a study abroad trip find myself a boyfriend get a career out of college get married live happily ever after thats how life seems to be going for a lot of people i know but not me my life has been far from that anyway heres to a new year and all the fuckery that will inevitably come with it     ,3.0
36287,trying to get my hair dried before it turns into ice  sooo cold,2.0
36288,i feel like my mom is suffocating me shes always been the textbook helicopter parent she wants to control what i say how i act what i wear what i eat and anything i do im  years old and have reached my breaking point all these years of making offensive comments to me and controlling me have pushed me to the edge and now because of the  coronavirus shes at home with me most of the time i want to escape this life ive been living its too much for me she always says that im being selfish and not considering her but i feel it would be better if i just end my life theres no end in sight for me and im conflicted,3.0
36289,i wish i had a place i shouldnt have been born i feel like it was a mistake i dont have a place in this life i only want to feel like i belong around people but i only get treated like shit and end up hating people nobody cares for me and i cant make a connection with anyone that lasts im only gotten rid of in the end i cant wait to die someday ill finally feel free of pain,3.0
36290,is that me ,0.0
36291,efflorescency,1.0
36292,going to bed am tired ,2.0
36293, haha ill make sure you get one im good thanks you lovely weekend down here in london ,0.0
36294,wants to go back to tokyo  ,2.0
36295, church waiting for cellgroup mates to arrive  doing the bulletin while waiting and facebooking on the side haha ,0.0
36296,doesnt want to fix all the formatting and broken citations on this thing ,2.0
36297,imagine living with the constant fear that your clothing could spontaneously combust off your body any second,2.0
36298,seattlegeekly nooooooooo was looking for record ,2.0
36299,jpuvan no fine just renewal fees ,0.0
36300,guys muabot ra lagi ng order ninyo aa 😉 pm ra tamu ug naa na  lng jud mo ky ako gaagad sad sa lbc muabot  😂😂😂,2.0
36301,pluincee havent you read my bio on this quotfulltime procrastinator and thoroughly enjoying itquot lol ,0.0
36302,i think im getting sicker now sneezing ,2.0
36303, followers yay thats the most that i have ever had ,0.0
36304,it is  am too early yawn a fly kept me awake from  because it liked buzzing around me and landing on me every minute ,2.0
36305,rt bchealthyliving mt victoriacaros if you care about mental health care about children mentalhealth issues begin in childhood htt,0.0
36306,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
36307,rt xypherics exols are the only fandom that would flex their empty seats at tokyo dome and their  versioned first japanese album that f,2.0
36308,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
36309,i guess i just have to get something off my chest so basically a few years ago i was severely depressed i still am just not as much as then i dont think at least and i was home alone for a week think i was   now and about halfway through the week i woke up to a back covered in cuts and a bloody knife now either i was sleepwalking or i was fully awake and just forgot i did it but it was terrifying needless to say nothing happened ever since didnt tell anyone voices told me not to but i guess i just needed to open up theres a lot more shit wrong such as heart problems seeing shit abuse as a child etc but itd take all day to go through everything been seeing a therapist for some stuff but next week ive to try and tell everything i guess this is a start i hope everyone else seeing this is ok altho i suppose your being here means otherwise give you all a hug if i could,3.0
36310,dannywood u left the ship amp i did not get to say good byeawesome seeing u again amp ur dad amp daughter ,0.0
36311,confusion lately i have been feeling down i think its because of how i feel like the people around me think im annoying ugly weird or not worth anything before i started feeling a little under the weather i was considered by my friends the light in the darkness i was called this because of my cheerful personality but over time i feel like that personality was all just an act i was happy to be called that title but it did not last long before people my friendsteachers classmates started to forget that i was even there maybe this is just me craving more attention from people because of how i never really gotten much love as a younger child after this i got confused about who i really was people told me to be myself but i found it hard to know who my true self was it felt like there were two sides of me the side of me at home introverted shorttempered and shy was different then the one i showed in public cheerful loud and confident i tried to get my personality from home to mix with the one i use in public but that did not help it made things all over the place and made people mad with me to me everything in my life is boring i dont find anything as fun as it was before keep this in mind my age is  i havent been in this world for long but nothing in this world really makes me want to live much i have a crush and friends that i am glad to have but to me its not that fun i know life wont be all about fun but i dont want it to be fun i want it to be hard the only thing thats hard to me is the fact that im living why cant i just be thankful for what i have now and wait until i grow up to experience what true life it i just really just cant wait to live with my own help ugh but all these feelings are really just confusing to me i sometimes feel confident then all the sudden i feel worthless i just feel confuse and i feel like i will never find the answer to stop being confused ,3.0
36312,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
36313,ok it is time for the confusion to stop i have a great guy but have feelings for another nice guy what do i do ,2.0
36314,i need a job so bad im at the end of my rope again i havent had a stable job in years im on my  month of my most recent stretch of unemployment ive been homeless for a week now staying at a friends dorm until the ra finds out and has me ushered out into the cold i dont need to tell anyone how hard ive tried or how close i am to the edge read my comments history it feels like everything that can go wrong has i have no more confidence in my future ive made so many posts up until now where the responses were to never give up why why not give up all i want is to work ive got the experience and still walk into interviews with a smile  i feel like there  fuel left in my tank the cost of just driving to work if i even get a job would put me in the red please someone help me i really need help not kind fucking words not promises that shit will get better read my history shit has been getting worse for several years now i need a job i need money i cant take this shit anymore ,3.0
36315,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
36316,recession in chinese language means opportunity no wonder communism survives there they always have opportunity ,0.0
36317, random photo tweet heh love this photo so much ,0.0
36318,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
36319,ristari yay  have fun at mums house im about to get out of bed such a nice day ,0.0
36320,beneverson i am  moved home for the summer today sorry that i didnt say bye thought id see u this morning or something,2.0
36321,how do i send messegaes to someone else on twitter its so frustrating not knowing everything lol not use to it lol have a nice day all ,0.0
36322,mikebithell leamingtons got talent ,0.0
36323,billroper i want to know why youve abandoned hellgate  i play it to this day still hope for a comeback,2.0
36324,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
36325,i think ill have to sate my want for sugar with some hot chocolate with no cookies ,2.0
36326,bgt on now  cyaaa,0.0
36327,drove  mins out of our way to hollywood blvd to get some good food ended up at mcdonalds ,2.0
36328,is thinking about her kids dad and the sentence that was handed down to him ,2.0
36329,watching wild child  just one of the many dvds i bought today  ahhhh i love being a shopaholic  ,0.0
36330,thought the bitch was gone but she came backugh this headache is killing me ,2.0
36331, bye ,2.0
36332,i wanna go back to sleep ,2.0
36333,no one is tweeting  what is this im outtt goodnight twitter,2.0
36334,cmoz you and me both  unfortunately i wont be able to get the new iphone anyway   perhaps i can pick up a cheap  to replace my ,2.0
36335,rt softsebstans do people who dont have an anxiety disorder know how lucky they are like you can just go out and do stuff without get,1.0
36336, hope u feel better soooon chikity ,0.0
36337,rt  more weedmore sexless stress,2.0
36338,imaginegraphics thanks for the kudos we always love compliments ,0.0
36339,on the road to fixing myself i apologize for my grammatical errors and incoherent mumbling as english is not my native language yet it is a language in which i feel i can express myself better i am using this post as a diary to share my thoughts and im afraid it will be a long one i expect nothing except the possibillity to get it all off my chest as a young man in this world it has become clear to me that i have been dancing with the imprisonement of my mind for the better part of my concious mind selective memories riddle my thoughts on a daily basis and i cant seem to escape the negative spiral caused by it sometimes it feels like i am playing with the fine line between insanity and that which is commonly accepted as normal i have not faced true hardship like some of you have seeing what horros happen what scars people carry and terrors of this world give me hope such amazing strength to deal with life and whatever it throws at you makes me think that we as human beings can deal with so much more than we realise i respect each and every one of you for holding on and i hope that i can learn to do the same in a previous post a letter to my parents i described what my upbringing has caused me to be in short i considered myself to be a bad person someone who is unable to deal with the past and looks for a reason or something to blame it on this results in me unwillingly hurting othersfor a while i even thought that i was a psychopath a sociopath a source of darkness evil maybe my feelings have always been fairly neutral and i thought that it was because i was not normal i was wrong all of it has been a defense mechanism my depression has been there to save me as my life progresses i can no longer control these emotions i am starting to feel to experience everything that i have surpressed is comming at me full power i feel every bit of anger of sadness despair joy love and pain i think this means i am finally ready to deal with these feelings i think it is finally time for me to actually deal with it and solve my problems control it is what we seek as humans every aspect of our lives revolve around fear and control it is why we have governments it is why we have laws hierarchic structures and our way of life i think this is natural we want to be a part of something that defines who we are and gives us purpose there are no leaders in this world because there is always a collective in which our so called leaders are still another cogwheel in the system all moving parts that result in us being able to live and progress humanity we elect our leaders so the collective can run but each and every one of us play an equally important part in the grand scheme take one part down and the whole system will stop working a president is nothing without its people a ceo nothing without its employees therefore we are important and need to make sure that we function properly  we need to be in control of what we do so we can help the grand plan to keep moving im a firm believer of a higher general consiousness of which all of us are an essential part i believe some call this religion a god i prefer to call it the universe the universe is ever expanding and we are the cause with every soul that dies the knowledge of this soul causes the universe to further expand we have been created in the universe its own immage to understand every part of it the universe is an equal part to its greater purpose as we are to it an infinite cycle of images if you will molecules are created by atoms cells are created by molecules humans are created by cells worlds are created by humans universes are created by worlds and universes createtherefore i believe that life is endless we die yet our energy remains there must be some truth to the afterlife reincarnation a god whatever you wish to call it that is my grand vision now how does this relate to me a single part of this grand collective i think that i am not in control of what i am supposed to be contributing as i mentioned before control is important and without it fear takes over i think my depression stems from not being in control of my life i am part of the system but i do not know in what way or what i am supposed to be doing this is problematic because if i fail i cant guaranty my contribution to the system this alone raises so many questions what about freedom are we really just a piece of a puzzle is choice just an illusion why do we have different personalities why are we killing each other all life questions are applicable to doubt what i am saying i think that it is healthy to have these questions and i think that in the end it all doesnt matter sure we want to be free but can we ever be truly free before i turn this in to a philisophical train of thoughts i want to say that i believe that we have our lives to learn what we value and to experience every aspect of said life in the end that will keep us sane and working as a part of the collective there are an infinite number of possibilities that our lives can be lived and i think each and every one contributes to acquiring knowledge for the greater general conciousness however if we do not have any form of control on our thoughts feelings and everything that makes us human life seems to flash past us in the blink of an eye i do not have control and i wish to regain it i believe that my cause of depression is this inability to take control i believe the cure is to accept that this is my life my world to create and to learn from i am the only one looking through my eyes theories like the law of attraction mindfulness religion seem to be the way many people obtain this control i believe there must be a way for each and every one of us to gain this control i believe that we as humanity will progress beyond what we think is possible if each and every one of us accepts that we play an important part our own life i think i need to take the following steps to achieve control  understand who i am understand who i have around me understand what will make me grow understand how i can help others to grow create the world that contains the requirements of growthhow i have no idea yet it gives me purpose though and that makes me happy,3.0
36340,limheeian yesi willbut in julyits a real torture ,2.0
36341,sorryy im gust bord now ,2.0
36342,i love life the earth is beautiful and some people too i want to die a lot of the time because of my brain i love life the earth is beautiful and some people too i want to die sometimes but its because of my braini cant seem to hold a job i have bipolar the  and a severe case of adhd i feel hopeless it gets the better of me i feel like i shouldnt exist i love my family and my beautiful fiancé but i dont think i will make it in this world nature is beautiful and i find beauty in little things but i feel like the demons in the back of my head get too close and its too much to handle i dont want to exist anymore i want to commit suicide existing is painful a lot of the time i am filled with positive and happy energy but the lows are too intense i dont want this anymore i should not exist,3.0
36343,safely made the late night drive home from charleston for anyone who cares ,0.0
36344,past week has been difficult but im hoping for a brighter future i feel like im not here like im watching my body carry out my work when people are talking to me it feels like im just making the right facial expressions and saying the right words but they dont carry me in them i dont know if that makes sense ive tried explaining if to a few friends and a doctor but they say either dont get it or so long as youre managing i been feeling very numb for a while because of  this lack of connect between my thoughts and the rest of me medication ive been on since april has the side affects of me not being able to cry but i want to i want to at least feel something im sorry this post is ramblings i just wanted to get this disconnect feeling off my chest its exhausting im hoping this will past been hoping for a while but i wont give up or give in to some thoughts,3.0
36345,grantslater ks is not tulsa ,2.0
36346,rt  ugh great now my mind is just going to be thinking about how much stress and guilt hes probably going to be under going back,1.0
36347, sounds tiring  hahahaha,0.0
36348,finally going to bed  good night ,0.0
36349,this mornings trail run confirms pup is getting old   and slow,2.0
36350,i r stuck at work httptinyurlcommlkjkk,2.0
36351,damn my fish and chips and shuffle board have been ruined by a damn movie filming   in jacksonville fl httplooptuskufuqqt,2.0
36352,rainy dayand feelin alittle sick ,2.0
36353,holy sht cant believe i am missing this andrenickatina performing w the roots tonight  highline ballroom hecka sad right now ,2.0
36354, jmosley well thanks  i had a great time taking italthough it was a little uncomfortable being that personal with the boat,0.0
36355,karis still in nicu levels back to her highest  yet  beth skipping more feedings to sleep me exhausted as well loooong week  all,2.0
36356,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
36357,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
36358,silentfate i dont follow back anybody anyway ,2.0
36359,gettn a lot of gos for chicks wit tats yo g havent heard from u in a while u surprised me ,0.0
36360,today is justababys  months birthday ,2.0
36361,just need to vent a little honestly dont know where to begin normally i vent to my bestfriend but shes been very busy lately and we havent talked as much as we normally do so im basically left to not talk about it at all but i feel like im about to explode inempty air im all cried outanyway for starters i have a bunch of health issues the biggest one is i do chemo every three weeks i have a rare blood condition called castlemens disease its not full cancer but it acts like it and is treated the same my doctor says its a semicancer i spent five months in the hospital back in  because of it and have done chemo every three weeks sinceback in june  june to be exact i became homeless lived in a coworkers car and everything on  july i was bit by a spider in the car at night the next day i noticed that i had large red splotches on my leg i assumed it was from the spider bite but my bestfriend heard me screaming and crying the night of  july and called an ambulance turns out that i had shingles on top of the spider bite they told me that shingles is caused by intense stress i had had nothing but nonstop stress all summerbut the next day  july my stepfather found this house that rents out rooms and rented me a room i was happy to not be in the car anymore butim not ungrateful or entitled or anything but this place is an absolute dump the faucet is barely hanging on and the water is so disgusting that ive had an upset stomach for a month there is no air here and some days it gets up to °f  humidity i literally sweat  all of my clothes are saturated with sweat and its disgusting i take a shower every other day but its so hot here that in less than an hour its like i never took onealso my room is tiny like its basically a glorified walkin closet i have a  tv and it literally takes up over half of the wall i just took  picture a minute agobefore you ask why i dont just move somewhere better i literally get between    a week because they only work me a day or two where i work i keep asking for extra hours here and there but they say no then complain that were understaffedi ended up back in the hospital last week from sunday morning to thursday afternoon on top of the shingles literally on top of them same spot i got cellulitis it still hurts but its peeling now and apparently thats a good sign heres a i am supposed to have chemo this wednesday tomorrow i called my insurance to schedule transportation and they told me that i no longer qualify for the rides they told me that my coverage ended  july which is messed up because i turned in the renewal forms back on july a friend even drove me up there yet theyre claiming that i never did itim not going to be able to do chemo and im going to get sick again cause of death being pooranyway i just feel so trapped i literally cant do anything at all and i feel like i dont have anywhere to turn to the few times ive vented about the conditions of the place where i live ive been told that im ungrateful and entitled so according to them i deserve poor living conditions because im sick and poorhonestly i dont see a way out of this situation i think of the big s word all the time but i know ill never do it i havent even selfharmed since  ive wanted to but i havent i used to cry myself to sleep every night but now i dont have any tears left whats odd is that im feeling extreme agonising pain yet also feel numb at the same time something else happens and im like of coursei dont even feel like doing things i normally love doing ive barely touched my xbox one since moving into this house theres no wifi here so it wouldnt do me much good anyway but a friend and i used to always talk gaming through the evening and up until half an hour ago she was regularly updating me on her playthrough of black flag its one of my favourite assassins creed games and normally id be excited to talk about it but after her fifteenth defeat against the manowar i had to stop myself from responding with i dont fg care instead i responded with aw maybe next trytheres a ton more i could have put in here like my struggle to get ssi my douchebag former roommate who was the reason i was homeless to begin with etc but i am honestly surprised i wrote this much i didnt even feel like writing about it but thought id still at least tryi honestly dont know what to do im tempted to s but i promised my bestfriend that i wouldnt one of my biggest fears is letting her down let me tell you shes one of the very very few lights in my life if anything ever happened to her all bets would be off because i cant do this without her heck i can barely do it even with her but i wouldnt be able to do this at all without heri dont know how to end this,3.0
36362,i think im dropping out of college been depressed for a while and im currently on medication and about to start therapylast semester i missed a lot of my classes and made everyone in school worry managed to save the semester with good grades thanks to some amazing teachers and the new semester just started but i dont think i can do it i stared missing class again and everything just stresses me out so much i dont even know if this is what i want to do with my life but i know my parents really want to see me with a degree and i dont want to disappoint them also im terrified of telling themgod i hate this feeling im really freaking out right now i dont know if what i want to do is right maybe it will make things worse maybe im just a lazy horrible studentright now im just gathering the courage to tell my parents i know it has to be today anyone else in a similar situation any thoughts or advice ,3.0
36363,basically cbd weed can help my migraines and anxietyso basically i need a medical marijuana card now,1.0
36364,ive got what scientists call the big depression,2.0
36365,i am up waaayyyy too early ,2.0
36366,why am i so angry i just feel so angry with everyone and i cant explain it the fact that im getting angry with the people i love is making me start to hate myself again which will probably lead to a relapse i wish recovery was simple and easy not like this,3.0
36367,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
36368,michellehendra like mother like daughter ,0.0
36369,awe theres a stray cat on my street i keep on hearing it meow i want it  i feel bad,2.0
36370,everything is so overwhelming my first semester of college is going just as i expected terrible i was on a roll in the beginning and then i got off track and then i got overwhelmed with how behind i got and it just became a vicious cycle of things piling up till i just dont care anymore because it is too much ,3.0
36371,  it will probably be repeated chatty man is deffo funnier than jlcs show,2.0
36372,that was the most grossest and weirdest moment everand it was only witnessed by me and bro so lucky haha ,0.0
36373,rt nixcraft learn how to stress out your cpu memory io and disk and more with stressstessng test tool on a linux freebsd openbsd,2.0
36374,chicago bulls lost    ,2.0
36375,is this normal ive been depressed for at least  years now although i only realized that about a year ago i have not told anyone of my condition yet because im pretty sure i will be treated like a baby right out of the womb all this sadness and pain has stuck to me and now i dont want to be without it i have literally become kind of afraid to loose depression,3.0
36376,need to check the review on terminator salvacion before i decide to see it  showing this thursday,0.0
36377,httptinyurlcomnddawp  lt can someone explain this to me this joke dosent make snese to me ,2.0
36378,i have to go to training again tonight till  ugh im getting tired of this i want my summer back ,2.0
36379,is watching jaytomorrow is his last show ,2.0
36380, any chance you can upload  final to your site bud i dont wanna wait for it we always get the good stuff last here ,2.0
36381,jimmyfallon mgmt is awesome  you should book them,0.0
36382,ugh just worked  hours and have to go back to work in an hour ,2.0
36383,markwahlberg happy belated birthdayi didnt send one yesterday because it was my birthday too  cool huh,0.0
36384,feeling fucking ill hello alltwo days ago i smoked some weed some strong stuff yesterday and today ive had this strong feeling of detachment from reality something ive felt for quite a while albeit in a slightly less imposing form due to insomnia i cant even look in the mirror i dont recognize myself i hate myself i cant write shit cant speak my thoughts for shit future seems bleak listening to canned heat doesnt helpis this due to the weed or the insomnia its like all my supressed feelings just jumped at me right at once i feel like im gonna die or something if anyone is listening please respond,3.0
36385,mac apple help if anyone knows how to sort out a bad sector on the harddrive please let me know btw i cant boot up properly either ,2.0
36386,marclee thanks  feeling old and wussy today oh well,0.0
36387,im missing your voice ,2.0
36388, nice picture betch my tummy is showing ,2.0
36389,rt sushitrash mental health is so dope take care of yourself,1.0
36390,depression era dishes  budget recipes that are still good enough to eat today ,1.0
36391,miriamshope this is neda    ,2.0
36392,ontdeksafaris thank you  will go for a walk with my  keeshounds shortly,0.0
36393,whoismaryboo bc  is using twitter as a substitute for irl meaningful bonds which means st is preventing the ,0.0
36394,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
36395,i lost a follower  im gonna go cry now,2.0
36396,jgto thanks for retweeting  ,0.0
36397, lol  tweethearts eh  thats a new one,0.0
36398,first week back to work after a week off is hell im so knackered  just waiting for the weekend now tbf,2.0
36399,httpbitlygyznd  damm i wish that my posters do that  i would be like o,0.0
36400,new day ,0.0
36401, in a australian accent of course ,0.0
36402,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
36403,esmeeworld im heading to the us for the first time  soooo excited,0.0
36404,winkedinkie lol yeah i use them as a last resort lol which is also why i mostly go to small shows ,0.0
36405,stuffed by the fixture computer  miss the first  home games  bah,2.0
36406, feel better ,0.0
36407,i feel like barfing was it the cake or the idea of going into work tomorrow i dont know what to do ,2.0
36408,the sky today isnt very blue  ,2.0
36409,i keep going in to freerealms literally moments before they take the servers down ,2.0
36410,putnamadventure gym  days a week plus extra stuff when the weather is niceplus no more stress eating ,0.0
36411,elliottkember so true i never thought of it that way ,0.0
36412,so tired of living i thought she was the one that kept me alive but i was wrong i was always a sad and a boring person she is not the problem im depressed and i cant help myself im so tired of living here waiting for something or someone to  change my life i cant even change my life since i have zero energy and zero motivation im trying too hard and have zero results and it only  reinforces my sadness i often wish i was never born i have some suicide idealization and sometimes im trying to find some solutions,3.0
36413,jasonrafael datz almost da same weather  my berfday ,2.0
36414,sxytigg whats wrong  why so ,2.0
36415,benasmith liking the new and improved avatar ,0.0
36416,happy mothers day mummy  ,0.0
36417,myweakness iamcarmelaflare i def agree guys w ny accents ,0.0
36418,rt peakwolfie me im finally starting to feel happymy depression ,1.0
36419,good news the quotclapquot method works fairly well for syncing audio bad news the mic splitter i bought does not work ,2.0
36420,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
36421,wizahd bumma  they got rid of the cow hampshire sign in epsom ,2.0
36422,tylluan i knew i could count on you ,0.0
36423,going through pain makes it hard to find a reason to live no matter what i do i cant seem to keep a friendship ive tried everything i showed genuine interest i worked on any flaws i gave them space i gave everything but people still left care too much or not enough i now try not to get attached too quickly but then i get accused of being too distant ghosted blocked without a word people sometimes reach out to become friends and never follow through when i send a reply back i got my hopes dashed once againamp nbspnow i feel like some kind of monster a nuisance something that doesnt belong on this planet the pain of rejections sucked my soul dry if im utterly alone no one will miss me when i decide to end it all,3.0
36424,  i had a great time guys i love you very much  kisses,0.0
36425,i got stuck in a life just wanted to let this out  somehow i have no idea how to deal with this everytime my wife leaves town to go to university couple of days every two weeks its a distance program i become someone else i feel like a complete worthless waste of time and space cant sleep want nothing to eat cant focus on work this probably is not a depression it just feels so shitty somehow all my friends moved out to different cities around the country in last two years and ive lost touch with all of them because i kept myself busy with finishing school and working in a tiny company from home design but it doesnt seem ive gotten anywhere i sacrificed last  months reconstructing an apartment for us to move to on top of everything else really going to the limit with my energy and time now it feels like i got stuck in a life which is over thats probably the deal there is one person in my life and when she leaves for a bit i am lost not sure if this is the right subreddit but yeah,3.0
36426,darrenmccall in your settings quotversionquot but i dont need to know anymore still trying to figure out if i need to restore ,2.0
36427,ouchyyy booo  headache going to beed right now even when its  oouuuch,2.0
36428,filmibeatka  so sad,2.0
36429,superkaylo hi im a big fan of insiders i think you and mr pointyhead are both acei have broken my arm at school  but oh well,2.0
36430,new moon trailer is amazing i cant wait to see it but its not out till november  day after my birthday so its like a present ,0.0
36431,although the police stopped the bus the person transporting the two beautiful shaheen falcons managed to escape through the crowd  grrrr,2.0
36432,still at work cant believe ive got like  to go yet  ,2.0
36433, as long as its crispy then im happy ,0.0
36434,perezhilton haha quotupquot was great i saw it tonight kevin is definitely the best ,0.0
36435,alwayscandace  basketkace now theyre the caaab  ,0.0
36436,wallflour have been a fan since i found your blog ,0.0
36437,b forgot what day it was again to day  got her self in a bit of a state about it all ,2.0
36438,asuraraver id like to but i dont think it would be a good idea ,2.0
36439,rt saintlauriss i hate anxiety i hate stress i hate hate hate how i feel rn i just want to be okay and be happy and not scared of everyth,1.0
36440,i miss him so much ,2.0
36441,i dont want to stay here ,2.0
36442,rt  yall julia beck is fucking disgusting and transphobic do your mental health a favor and just block her,1.0
36443,depression is very real and if you cant be positive and look at negative things and see the good out of them youll just never be happy,0.0
36444,jeremyjaeger i am good how are you  ,0.0
36445,dreameryoungjae btsmint this is so sad 😖,2.0
36446,its raining ,2.0
36447,tygerbaby  ive never caused spontaneous combustion before please dont,0.0
36448,pjkent mmm not sure the playa grande one in pdc is updating ,2.0
36449,elsamantha why did you get another twitter and awww your pictures so cute ,0.0
36450,bad symptoms starting zoloft hellofour days ago i started zoloft to treat anxiety and ocd i was put on  mgs for a week to be bumped up to  for the rest of the scrip however on day two i was became noticeably depressed and had a headache all over my head and i felt spacy like my awareness was being impaired or wasnt at the forefront of my mind if that makes sense i contacted my psychiatrist who suggested i stop taking it but i am still feeling the depression and spaciness come and go my ocd centers around health problems and i being to obsess about my symptoms and catastrophize because my symptoms are similar to that of a brain tumor my mind hooks on it and leads me to believe i have a brain tumor has anyone had any experiences with side effects like this when will they go away thanks all for reading this,3.0
36451,and the sun is back up again  could we have more of the kind of weather we had last january and february i like jackets ,0.0
36452,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
36453,deanmillson oh shush its fun ,0.0
36454,rt  deusevola jonah hill is mad cute i looooooveeee that man this vid makes me sad,1.0
36455,idk if im depressed or just really sad all the time i feel like i have fucked everything up in my life my relationship with my mum is terrible cause of me i started smoking to get away ans she didnt like that but it helped so much so i continued it was not worth it one bit id always get in trouble and do all this stuff to make my mum mad and upset at me i got in trouble with the police and my mum was yelling take him to the station and she basically didnt want me it felt like like i was a mistake and that i failed my mum at one point i was just getting yelled at all day by my mum it got to the point that we wouldnt even talk to each other she wouldnt say goodnight and i love you those simple things but it gradually got worse then we were invited to go to florida for a wedding and i called her out before that she hast talked to me in months and i was forced to apologized because i made my mum upset i really dint get that at all i am such a shy person i never talk about my feelings because im like who cares ill just be annoying so ill just cry to my self and try to answer my own questions that didnt help at all cause it only made it worse before this in elementary school i was bullied physical and thrown into mud and pushing and even punching and nobody would do anything to help i was also bullied emotionally by being excluded from everything and name calling so i started hanging out with girls cause obviously guys were not working he began calling me gay because i would be with girls instead of guys and this went on for a long time through out the entire time i was there by the same person and idk why but i give second chances like its nothing and to the wrong people the person bullying me stopped in grade  and i tried being friends with him and then we hung out and he chocked me and i went running down to my dad with tears running down my face since then ive never talked to him then in grade  another person started bullying me this was a lot more physical and he would run jump and hit my head from behind pick up snow and rub it in my mouth knowing i had sensitive teeth it was basically a living hell and my grades dropped because of it i got an iep and got special attention to help me i still have it to this day then high school came around grade  and  were the best years of my life i wasnt being bullied i had good friends a played soccer competitively and having a blast but i noticed on my team i was always the one picked on i never thought anything of it because it was no where close to what elementary school was like so i thought it was boys being boys this didnt really affect me at all then grade  and  came along our friend group began maturing and like everytime i was the one picked on but this was mainly verbal and i dealed with it because i have no one else to go to this is still happening im in grade  now about to go into second semester i just hate myself because im always the one picked on and they always say its a joke but it happens so much and it literally kills me so thats my school career just a bunch of bullying because of all the bullying i lack self confidence i gained a speech disability stuttering and im really shy and idk how to express my feelings my parents also forced me to leave my best friend who id smoke with alot we grew up together and i knew this kid so well he was like a brother my parents were such assholes to me while i was friends with him saying hes using me and all this stuff as soon as i stopped hanging out with him they got better i loved this kid tho like we would hang out together do everything together and for it all to be taken away for my parents happiness and not mine hurt so much i just cant wait till university so i can live on my own with out them i feel ill be so much happier my mood on everything is just so low and it feels like everyday im sad and i rely on my friends to make me happy and i dont see my friends often which upsets me cause they help alot without knowing i wish i could tell them but im too scared ,3.0
36456,up early gathering mojo to head to the gym my gals come home today  hope nik isnt too hung over,0.0
36457,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
36458,i miss my dad im  my dad has schizophrenia and smokeddrinked i dont remember him ever living with us we visited him occasionally the last time i saw him was when i was  at his dads funeral for  minutes when they started serving food after the funeral one night when i was  he came to our house from across the state lit a fire in the backyard and the police came a gunshot was fired we had to get a restraining order on him and ive never heard from him since the only proof i have that he still exists is the fact that he is paying child support,3.0
36459,welp    im far from the person whom i want to be however that doesnt mean that ill never be that person if i start placing steps even extremely small ones eventually ill be that person   but doing that involves a lot if discipline and effort and i have no goal in life  no dream  nothing which i   want  becoming a better person does sound good but a car wont drive with no fuel u know    there was a person whom i loved  and at one point there were my only reason for staying alive  but i couldnt handle it anymore i honestly dont remember what exactly took place but i remember that i thought she deserved better and that i cant be with her until i improve myself so i broke it off    its already been  years and the i dont think ive changed much since then    i just want something that i can look forward to  something that can keep me going  i tried to make my goal improving myself  finding goals  and i tried to convince myself that i dont need any goals except for todays goals  so i make a plan every day and follow it   but in the end whats the point,3.0
36460,physical health and mental health interconnected i have eds and fibromyalgia and am not able bodied even though i appear able bodied aside from wanting people to realise im not able bodied so thats why i might need to sit down a lot i cant have a job standing up  being in chronic physical pain amp having to manage my symptoms all the time im wondering more and more if this is not directly connected to my mental health its at least interlinked like i think my depression and exhaustion makes those worse and vice versa i have been suffering serious depression recently and bad chronic pain does anyone else have suspicions your physical and mental health conditions may be linked,3.0
36461, i would have if i didnt have triathlon tomorrow   maybe next time,2.0
36462,wondering what all the fuss was about ,0.0
36463,my doggie fell down the stairs ,2.0
36464,dannygokey have good time there danny  and please give anoop some tips so he can be as interesting as you in tweeting you rock danny,0.0
36465,im steeling myself for the huge void that the apprentice uk concluding today will leave in my life back to grand designs reruns ,2.0
36466,ezrabutler  they have their headaches the morning after instead ,0.0
36467, just sent the mac bible see if it works  yahoo might not let you have it because it is such a big attachment ,2.0
36468,the only thing i look forward to is dying im getting married this year i have a good job and a nice house i have excellent friends and an awesome family and i cant enjoy any of it its like im physically incapable of positive emotionsi wake up every day either angry sad or just completely numb ive been depressed since i was ten years oldi cant even remember what happiness is anymorechrist i hope i dont wake up tomorrow,3.0
36469,dealing with love  depression hey first post on reddit  sry for my english btw  anyway met this girl on a concert like  years ago and because of my mental issues and her being from different city i played along as just friends  just showed interest in her personality and we just talked and danced nothing too much as im not rly a one night guy i like to get to know the person  anyway long story short we became good friends over those  years as she is from different city it was mostly online through social media and online games but we also hanged out some time i just moved to her city because of work and when i told her she was rly excited and even came to the airport to pick me up this is where it all gets complicated from the start she was eager to see me every day if possible we went out every time i could  it was mostly with a group of friends but we had some time alone  feelings grew alot stronger and again due to my mental problems i feel like i messed it all up i was really awkward and had nothing to say most of the time as my mind tends to go blank in social interactions i noticed she suddenly became alot busier and we barely hang out now and our texts became alot shorter and like something you would send to your mother it hurts so much losing her as i rly dont have alot of friends  i have like  friends besides her at this moment due to new city  my mental state is getting alot worse and im scared if i lose her i might end up forever alone  and i dont mean like a relationship but overall as i really dont have anyone right now im not even on good terms with my family  anyway sry for the long post i just want to know yall opinion if i should open up to her about what im going through and i if i do i should tell her about my feelings for her which might end up badly and our relationship might die for good just to be clear i could be only friends with her but if i dont open up ill never be able to hang out with her comfortably because i dont know if she feels the same about me and it would kill me if i miss the chance  even if i missed it already but yeah  i know i left out alot about the state of my depression but feel free to ask anything,3.0
36470,trying to get moving limited success thus far but i remain hopeful  ,0.0
36471,i hate everyone at tgp right now  not reallybut i do p,2.0
36472,you ever feel like each day is just a run down the clock situation thats what life feels like every day is like a shitty office job shift where im just trying to pass the time until i can go back to sleep,3.0
36473,off to bed goodnight  ,0.0
36474,rt khushsundar dont forget kathuan n unnaodont forget lynchingsdont forget  deaths in atm queuesdont forget farmers committi,2.0
36475,hopkinsonreport page not found ,2.0
36476,wheniruletheworld im gonna fixreplies getpembsdaveajob on creditcrunchtv watch startrek and support maternalhealth thats whyitweet ,0.0
36477,imalexevans why do alarms always wake people up from dreams right at the good bit ,2.0
36478,feels like a terrible person for not visiting her grandma more ,2.0
36479,itskarinwithani no not yet two people have tried to assassinate me one succeeded in wounding me ,2.0
36480,back is killing me ,2.0
36481,im fucking up college so so badly oh my god my parents have been nothing but supportive and are paying for all of it because i am so fucking spoiled and im just so bad at iti had motivation or at least determination my first  years then i just collapsed spring of junior year i was planning on changing majors but i cant even pick one now hint because i suck at everything i have a  overall gpa but im taking fucking  courses this semester and im basically wasting everyones time i am a pathetic fuckup dont even have any friends here because im an isolated freaktheyre coming to visit tomorrow what the fuck do i even say,3.0
36482,and i have problems uploading a twitter picture here ,2.0
36483,when i went to the dr she said you have gone through this whole presidency wo gaining weight and i go thats w ,1.0
36484,  behold someone purporting to be for bernie using a trumpian hashtag for rds  sad   y ,1.0
36485,greeneyeddeb i guess youre not coming to see us then ,2.0
36486,i bought prom night today that movie is so good so suspenseful ,0.0
36487,just got back from a run amp im feeling grrrrrreeeeeaat ,0.0
36488, wow this is a real project cool r u pretty crafty with the scissors amyriadfthings now i understand ur early tweets ,0.0
36489,jordynsmom idk i just got off the phone wit them n they said theyll look at it guess ill have  wait till monday ,2.0
36490, bom show ,0.0
36491,dropsofdmb good morning ,0.0
36492,what stage is this been battling depression for what seems like decades but i feel as if im finally getting better im gonna graduate soon and i am now a legal adult everything is looking up and i do my best to stay positive sometimes i have those random sad days when nothing is making me sad i just am but for the most part im happy although i still want to die i dont want to end my own life i just want it to end so i can get it over with you know crazy i guess but thats just how i feel idk ,3.0
36493,ok just waiting on them to send me some stuff through the post apparently ive done everything right so far  bonus ,0.0
36494,ugh no internet forgot to pay the bill  ,2.0
36495,super shitty day i feel like i have no use to society any more im working so hard for nothing no one cares regardless of how hard i try i just never make it am i destined to lose i try to be positive but its hard especially at night i just want it to end i feel like im drowning in this pit of darkness and im reaching out but theres nothing to grab onto im just flailing around and no matter how hard i try to swim i get pulled in deeper why struggle i should just let it consume me,3.0
36496, where is my cd omg nd yeah she is  ur cmg ,2.0
36497,tommcfly   hey i saw the portuguese attemtp to tweet maybe i can help you tweet in portuguese ,0.0
36498,just finished coding a site tested it in firefox  fine in  it gives me a weird bug its not floating the nav properly ,2.0
36499,listening to music ,0.0
36500,ashleydc your fingerless gloves are done chris will give them to jeph on thursday speedy recovery ,0.0
36501,i really wish stephen wouldnt of joined the national guard and now daniels joining the navy sigh ,2.0
36502,today is going to be one of the greatest day of  ,0.0
36503,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
36504,searching for the lost i feel like i fell off a boat and dropped everything i am and everything i own out of the boat with me like ive never been able to capture it all again its as if the moment i swim after one thing to try to catch it i get distracted and swim after another never gathering up anything i am im at a constant battle with myself on wondering if anyone is looking for me lost at sea or if im even worth being searched for especially if i cant even find myself i forgot everything ive loved where did i go ,3.0
36505,  daily webcam upload ,0.0
36506,stop strudel time   no really stop there was no strudel ,2.0
36507,iamglennie me too girljoining the gym today gonna try to eat better too but for now  workouts per week oughta help ,0.0
36508,  very weird all over times square people sit in lawn chairs like their  the beach ,0.0
36509,metricband i was planning on coming to nyc show then had last minute surgery the night before  playing there soon i hope,2.0
36510,my closest friend just treated me like shit i opened about my feelings of depression n suicidal thoughts she acted like it was nothing n didnt open my text for  listen to her whenever she rants n i was always there when she felt downit hurts knowing that she doesnt feel the same way about me,3.0
36511,officiallatrice cool i dont wanna miss u either  u should check ur myspace,0.0
36512,fhornchickie yes alison i will ,0.0
36513,cartoonbeardy i said scary smart didnt i lol thanks prof ,0.0
36514, ta youve not answered my q though you with vm what deal did you get dm me if you prefer ,0.0
36515,check out this new online magazine about australia   by onyamag  via sarahprout,0.0
36516, yeahhhh im haaappyyy everything is beautiful ,0.0
36517,the living museum  outta class till  perioidddd ,0.0
36518,im alone and i just want it to end nobody seems to really care at all im always at an arms length from people even my close friends i just want to die,3.0
36519,vurv ha i was thinking of blacklisting lol at filttrcom ,0.0
36520,  i wish i could lounge around the computer like thechkrato ,2.0
36521,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
36522,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
36523, he totally did  congrats ,0.0
36524,vivalasenquita this is way to complicated ,2.0
36525,roger federer wins his  french open and beat pete samprasrecord congratulations amp celebrations too  he squashed soderling,0.0
36526,mcrsavedmilife awh  still no sign of tayce,2.0
36527, sigh i love him already ,0.0
36528,up wayyy too early  hopefully friendies are coming over so we can have a spontaneous pool partay,2.0
36529,tammielynne if i were u id go around rubbing up against people im a terrible sick person if i feel crap so shud  else ,2.0
36530,kailikai oooo sounds like a plan just need to do some stuff around the house and a load of laundry and im in ,0.0
36531,for an animated movie quotupquot was definitely dramaticval and i were on edge hahaha ,0.0
36532,bethanymcflyx  hours beth  hours  x,0.0
36533,does anyone else think sorana cirstea resembles some bollywood heroine btw enjoying fo on tv ,0.0
36534,ooook  this is the  prezi file i have startedits khacked never had these issues before going to have  say bye  that idea ,2.0
36535,ashleighrenay i dont really know yethe needs to go back to the hospital tomorrow  hows your grandpa girlie,2.0
36536,getting the house ready for moms bday bbq sis is bringing the carne asada amp ill be making the rest too bad ill be working dang ,2.0
36537,twilightaholica me too they were kind of cute stuntling there im disappointed though ,2.0
36538,rt amyjromine how daily uplifts can counter depression   key findings from a new study on mood  ,1.0
36539,fomo anxiety and depression are ruining my life   hereim what some would call an introvert extrovert i like to be alone sometimes but i also enjoy hanging outthe problem is i always feel like my presence is unnecessary for most of my friends people just dont care about wheter or not im aroundi have goals i go to the gym i try to become the best version of myself everyday but thats not enoughi see everyone going out having fun while im here sitting at my desktop on a friday nighti might be losing my  to anxiety and depression and i just dont know what to do about it it gets really tough and sad when you work hard on yourself everyday but no one seems to give a fuck about youhonestly im not exaggerating sometimes i feel like im going to end up alone sad and depressed living with remorse wishing i could have enjoyed my life morehowever im young i still can change that if you have any advice that will help me pls share thank you,3.0
36540,xxadelxx thank you ,0.0
36541,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36542,its weird to think its weird to think that some people dont have to deal with this mental illness shit it boggles my mind that people go through their day actually happy or atleast feeling something they have passions hobbies friendsa fucking life of course everyone has their problems it just sucks that mine is my own fucking brain i feel so fucking numb and unmotivated i dont see a future for myself,3.0
36543,i hate being around people yet feel cripplingly lonely when im alone its not that i hate people i just get incredibly tired interacting with anyone i have a few friends and they know im completely introverted and that i just dont do social stuff too much but it feels utterly crippling knowing they are doing something without inviting me even when the reason is that they know i wouldnt come anyways idk im just tired and lonely and nothing brings me joy,3.0
36544,mariaarcegadunn when i got that email at work today bulletin  my stomach droppedheart sankwhat a low ,2.0
36545,how are you meant to reconnect with people during more serious depressive episodes i will push people away and socialize way less than i already do i cant find the courage to send anyone a message when i feel like im nothing more than an annoyance especially when i dont have anything to actually talk about it doesnt help that people really never message me first it adds on to the idea that people dont care ive lost friends in the past because of this and i can see that im losing my few remaining friends now with every day that passes i feel much more isolated and like the distance between me and everyone is growing what am i supposed to do,3.0
36546,  awwww   long awaitedinvoluntaryand reluctant doctors visit super early tmrw wish me luck ,2.0
36547,matthardybrand matt your a cool one lol just watched some of the hardy shows with scarlet i laughed soo much  x x,0.0
36548,rachelcraves oh no ,2.0
36549,im about to tell my parents this has to end now im just about exploding out of my skin from anxiety so many times before i was on the verge of doing it now its time to follow through i cant fight this battle alone anymore i need help wish me luck guysedit wow guys i did it what a relief they found it hard to understand at first but they were so supportive were going to work on this together now  thank you all for your support too,3.0
36550,watching britains got talent  i wanna be on there ,0.0
36551,claudiahazel glad to see we have another happy customer  why dont you try it yourself just peel stick smile,0.0
36552,avoiding therapy and medication i was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and self injurious behavior in the beginning of january while in the hospital my doctor diagnosed me with depression and i began taking lexapro when i was discharged the medication was giving me headaches and making me more nervous i felt as if it were making it worse so i began to self harm again but way more than when i first got admitted i felt like i was going insane with my medication i planned to overdose on any over the counter drug because i didnt care about myself during one of my sessions with my therapist i told her that i was self harming and i attempted to overdose on pills random pills not the ones prescribed to me i was then admitted that day to the hospital  weeks later after my discharge while at the hospital they doubled my dosage even after i told my doctor the side effects it gave me i was discharged after a week and then told my therapist if i can see a psychiatrist so i can get sleeping pills because i was getting these self harm thoughts at night along with the sleeping pills he changed my medication to prozacfluoxetine and i didnt feel any change while taking it so i saved up a couple of pills and took them all at once to see if i could notice something i didnt really feel much after taking like seven  pills a month later my physiatrist doubled my dosage to  mg even after i told him i didnt need pills i began to self harm again not because i was depressed but because i enjoyed the pain and the blood in my skin i didnt have urges to cut or horrible thoughts of suicide it was like trying drugs for me i just wanted to feel satisfaction now i have this thing in mind were i dont want help because i think i can solve my problems on my own i feel ashamed of people thinking i need help when in reality help makes it worse when i go to therapy it makes me hate myself when i take medication for my mental state i feel insane i also worry that if i go to therapy i will tell my therapist the truth and i will get hospitalized a third time or save up pills by not swallowing them again i still self harm to this day but not in a suicidal way rather in a curious enjoying way havent seen my therapist or taken meds for about  weeks now and i have been more productive in caring about my school work i would say im not depressed anymore but i hate it when my parents think i need medication and therapy they dont know ive continued self harmingim a smart kid and i know self harming isnt healthy but i feel safer doing it than potentially overdosing on any drug it isnt an addiction but rather a habit at this point i would like to know if any of you have gone through a similar mindset as me can any of you guys relate to my story ,3.0
36553,cartbozman haha its too nice out for work ,0.0
36554,nayeonbot that ep like reinforced every trust amp anxiety issue ive had since birth kslhsdgkh the damn mimosa segment they show beforehand,1.0
36555,heyyy auditiondanny  youre probably one of the only people i actually know so i thought id shoot you a tweet  hope all is well,0.0
36556,centac tbh i liked newtbag more  but enjoy the episode dd,2.0
36557, join the club my dad just woke me up  so much for me planning to sleep for most of the day lmao ,0.0
36558,just like a quotlove storyquot ,0.0
36559,lauras brought me left over curry home shame ive eaten  would have been better than the pasta i threw together,2.0
36560,gilles awesome ,0.0
36561,ryanpmcelwain ryan stop youre just making me sad,1.0
36562,id prefer a whole host of other symptoms beside constant nausea in the these last few weeks  ,2.0
36563,nothing new about todayoh yeaexcept my cute new car  ps sticking my tongue out at unc,0.0
36564,watering the grass its not my designated day ,0.0
36565,surely when buzz lightyear realises hes a toy not a superhero is one of the greatest examples of pathos in the cinema ,2.0
36566,ok back to my napits so hard thoughcant force sleep but i need to take advantage of when my kiddies r getting shuteye ,2.0
36567,im not a nice person ive had social anxiety since my teens i think i used to be a nice person  kind towards others generally i cared about causesbut ive been hurt by friends who suddenly preferred other friends to hang out with and ive always felt uncomfortable in groups i think this has contributed to me becoming someone i dont really like ive been mean and gossipy i think mainly out of boredom  to make myself feel betterwhen i was younger i was very shy and wouldnt speak up but ive learnt to be assertive and now i feel like im just a bitter person who always sees something negative most people dont interest me and i dont really care about any causes except animals i have some friends but i only see them so often and its not like we can spend hours talking in general im often hoping others do badly so i do better compared to themi wish i was a positive person who attracted others and was generally happycontent went to see a therapist ca  months ago and she thought i had a light depression i think its still there and ive probably had it for years i just dont seem to enjoy life like others do im not sure what would make me happy amp why i dont care so much about other people except my parents,3.0
36568,callmejoeyprime i feels it  as long as ya stress free lol i lowkey dont even use my phone for what its used for ,1.0
36569,rt manualtxt partake and be sadpartake and be sadpartake and be sadpartake and be sadpartake and be sadpartake and be sadpartake a,2.0
36570,lukeschoepf you will soon have a lovehate relationship with twitter ,0.0
36571,youngq omg that is so beautiful i love itgonna be my lullaby every night just the end comes a little quick lol  still love it,0.0
36572,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
36573,has a headache ,2.0
36574,i dont wanna go to work and face blanking again i wanna go sit by the beach  and pretend i really live here ,2.0
36575, sigh i hope he does respond well in my first trial i cant help but to feel sad for him ,2.0
36576,ifthisishate heeey stop hatin on mustard godwtf is wrong with you ,2.0
36577,miajustesen can i come plz ,0.0
36578,jquery is fun stuff but not today ,0.0
36579,mcshortstack yes wasnt it amazing but then sad because you know there are only  left ,2.0
36580,quingdom hallo namamaga yung left cheek ko because of my wisdom tooth i think ,2.0
36581,feels like my life is on rails that cant be changed my depression started in college and ever since then i feel so powerless i did some research early on but then stopped doing anything productive i tried to get internships but stopped because i couldnt take the repeated rejection took me  years to get a  year degree in engineering i couldnt hold on or forge any friendships then after  months of job hunting i got a lab technician position which i really dont think ill enjoy working in a lab for the rest of my life because i havent ever had engineering experience which i cant see how i could ever get at this point the people i knew in college are already successful while im scrounging around now everything is on a track that wont budge because i was too lazy to set up the rails i wanted,3.0
36582,novemberrose snap oh well it was nice while it lasted ,0.0
36583,fudge just bsd that whole paper so tired ugh i hate school  time to sleep,2.0
36584,revlohbc im taking the family to manila for the rest of my trip if i cant be home i figure id just bring them along ,0.0
36585,why cant we have a  in idaho falls ,2.0
36586,harddrive crash on producers computer pray that we get it recovered so that that we can get the video ,2.0
36587,the only thing stopping me from blowing my brains out the only thing that is stopping me from blowing my brains out is my weed right now i stopped taking my medication for almost two weeks and my girlfriend left me for another fucking guy in that same time span my family and friends all hate me and cant stand me without weed im legitimately might blow my brains out with my friends rifle i have the keys to his house i would have the decency to do it somewhere else i might inconvenience him for a little bit but i would be saving everyone the trouble of me existing im sorry that im bitching like a useless piece of shit,3.0
36588,my depression wont go away no matter how much i try what the hell am i supposed to do now i have been diagnosed with major depression for about five years now i have experienced major life improvements such as leaving an abusive relationship getting my old friends back and picking up a new hobby i try to keep busy and to exercise but  no matter what i still have no life motivation i feel like all of this is pointless if i dont actually enjoy it hell i just got a new job and wasnt excited what am i supposed to do if everything is going great and i still hate being alive ive struggled long enough and im getting tired of it all ,3.0
36589,hope this is going to help someone today❤ good morningafternoonnight to everyone whos heremy name is  years old now living in a small town in romania and longstory short ive had some very dark period of times in the last  years and kind of overcome that even if i have some days when i just dont feel doing anythingbut because of this i just want to help others and encourage those who suffer with my experience and giving you some advices    first of alllet me start saying that everyone whos herefrom the youngest one to the oldest one youre all precious and you deserve the greatest life everperiodwhybecause nobody no matter how many mistake have in his past dont deserve to feel lonely or depressed everydayno one so j want you to realize that u are worth it no matter how many times youre mind tells you that u are worthlessyou dont   secondeven if youre actual mind state is caused by a medical condition or some awfull situations that u endure in the past or even right nowyou really really need to realize that by doing nothing and  complaining about it would do nothing to get the things betterbecause apart from other people who dont suffer from mental health problemsyou are warriorsbecause you fight every single day so by doing anything practically to change this you basically give up on this war and thats just not okso for me what actually works was the fact that i set myself goals and i do my best to accomplish them even if i dont feel the need to do itgoals like making my bedmeditatingworking out even if for  and so on and as i sayed it doesnt have to be big thingsit can be tinny goals that meant something to youanother thing that i do are cold showers and damm those are really hard but thats just the key in order to challenge youre mind and strenghten it as much as you can   so those are just some few tips that i have am  maybe you heard about it thousands of times but trust meit worksyou just had to have that vital quality in youre heart called faithfaith that those things actually work and you will get better   ive been feeling extremely down and i thought that i would never feel good or never get over some things but i got over it and it feels good and i want you to know that if i can do ityou can do it tooand always remeber that youre not alone on this one other people around are in the same boat as you are so stay strongnever give up on it and have that warrior mentality to fight back and overcome every obstacle cuz if u do all of thisyou will start to have rosecolored days and you will feel love you all❤,3.0
36590,uber excited and i cant disclose the news ,2.0
36591, i heart u too ,0.0
36592,aaawww my baby sis graduates to middle school  grow so fast ,2.0
36593,im struggling ive struggled from depression for half my life im  i thought i was getting better i joined a gym started eating better and have been seeing a psychologist regularly and all of a sudden its like ive hit a wall and starting all over againi have suicidal thoughts most nights but they are just thoughts ive started self harming again i feel like i just have no one im on two antidepressants mirtazapine and fluoxetine i have no motivation and just want to sleep constantly i feel so negative ,3.0
36594,says  setonians from batch  will be studying in assumption  pia and charmzz ,0.0
36595,wishing i was on the golfcourse today but alas no car ,2.0
36596,i took the best depression nap today,1.0
36597,rt omriceren psychoanalysis  when a subject is confronted with the basic irrationality of their identity result is anxiety ,1.0
36598,figuring out twitter ,0.0
36599,so exhausted cant sleep orientation in less than  hours fail ,2.0
36600,nesbyphips yeesir  ,2.0
36601,watching the hillsgonna go for a run after burn of that good bbq food i had yesterday lollets see how far i can goim hangin ,2.0
36602,ninaamir you got it i will hold that vision  have a great now   mary ,0.0
36603,im not going to sleep tonight i dont wanna i can listen to music alllll night long   hopefully get my nose ring tommorrow ,0.0
36604,seanmalarkey its evening here in india right now studying for exams ,2.0
36605,followfriday many thanks for the love   avenueofthearts labelladiva linnetwoods michaelheiniger rleseberg followsteph,0.0
36606,tracecyrus cant wait to see you guys in norway ,0.0
36607,fking anxiety bruh,2.0
36608,thesounds is the letterman performane gonna be online i missed it by accident  im not having pizza and its kinda hard but not really,2.0
36609,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
36610,jazzminnie but ive done barely any revision so many things have bugged me that have completely put me off it ,2.0
36611,goodnight everyone ,0.0
36612, shyt  damn   wow,0.0
36613,i just live tweeted my entire depression on my priv lol i feel absolutely great life is great,0.0
36614,niaglass sorry to hear that sorry cuzin ,2.0
36615,i just want to be wanted  or just noticed its so silly that im having a breakdown over this that i broke my clean strike for this but im just so so so lonely its been so long since someone hugged me or kissed me its been so long since anyones shown themselves interested in me i know i mustnt look to others for validation but is it too much to ask just a glance a touch of hands a smile the slightest confirmation that i exist to be other than the background noise of everyone elses lives,3.0
36616, i missed it unfortunately ,2.0
36617,i miss my boys ry haze and slaks ,2.0
36618,imalexevans no no your not ,0.0
36619,alhamdullilah in a relationship with depression😀😂😭,2.0
36620,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
36621,i should be running errands but i really just want to work in the yard perfect weather for it i think ill play with my camera too ,0.0
36622,im soo sad i wanna hug him so badly rn,1.0
36623,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
36624,hates this shy weather ,2.0
36625,just miserable and lost im  and ive been dealing with major depressive disorder for a long time  its gotten do bad that i dread going to work  ive seen therapists social workers and psychiatrists  not much seems to help  i decided that i would try to go to college and do the wind turbine program  im already on second semester and im questioning if it will be something i enjoy im not really interested in being a grease monkey or work in   hours a week seems to be the common practice  im not getting any younger  and i dont want to waste my gi bill on something i am not capable of doingthis summer in addition to wtt classes i am taking an intro to autocad  i know next to nothing about it but ive looked at a few videos on youtube and it doesnt seem like something id be any good at  the constant taking to people for input  so now i am stressing how about what to do  i dont think my body is capable of doing the work in wind and i dont think i have the right mind and patience to deal with people in an office settingall i want is something that i can enjoy doing and not fear that i will be living on the streetsive looked for other jobs that i can do part time but nothing caught my eyei feel wasted and weak melancholy stressed and scaredi fear my future doesnt hold a lot of hope  its all so close to falling aparti do not know what to do  i cant find a new job that i am capable at and enjoy it  i have no other purpose in life  i will always be single and if i want to continue to live on my own after my  yo mother passed it will likely be in a van under a bridge since the house i own is trashi feel broken beaten yet by some miracle i still get up and go suffer some more,3.0
36626,oo omg there is a freakin cheese burger doing yoga in my room o he is soooooo cute    lol xd,0.0
36627,allysalvoo hmmmmmmmm sad 😊 miss you nyaaaaa 😍,2.0
36628,im ready to die dont worry i wont kill myself but ill just live helplessly miserable and empty enduring my downward spiral i cant explain it anymore im just a fucking failure  i cant cry i cant get angry im distantdisconnected life suckstoday i went out with a friend  he was exalted because he asked a girl to prom and she accepted  all my friends have girlfriends and way larger friend circles these days unlike mehe was so damn happy and as much as i am proud of him its hard to share it  we ate dinner and he had to snap his fingers because i was staring at my reflection mouth agape eyes zombified not eating  its bad  im distant like never beforei feel irrelevant and cant do this anymore  im really fucking smart and im just going to be upfront about this because i have nothing to prove here and could care less about being humble right now  recognition of my giftedness only seeded a nonsustainable level of vanity for the wrong reasons  i could find solace in my smarts despite how ridiculous it sounds  i acted unassuming because i manipulated people into applauding me this way  the great irony of this all is how the only thing i appreciated about myself was an occurrence by no doing of my own something innate and immutable  how patheticive always struggled socially insofar as im not hated but simply unnoticed  grad traditionceremonies merely epitomize my social irrelevance  everyone else is going into social overdrive whereas im more lonely than ever  my impartial estimate is that somewhere around  of the grad class has a prom dateim pathetic  and what everybody is now expected to walk on eggshells and appease my overarching social ineptitude by feigning interest in me  thats unrealistic  me ever nearing social normalcy is simply unrealistici once thought i served a higher purpose during my more egotistical deluded days some transcendent intellectual endowment possibly a childs naivete knows no bounds  one day reality kicked in and i realized that i was no different from my fellow man that nobody gives a shit about my iq score or maths prowess in the grand scheme of thingswhat a mess of a life,3.0
36629,there is literally no cure this past year i have got accepted into my dream university as a transfer lost a bit of weight got rid of a toxic ex and started dating a wonderful person who really gets me in general things are going really well in my life i still struggle to get out of bed in the morning i have a hard time just functioning as a human beyond the bare basics the routine of school helped for a while but with the stay at home order in place thats gone i am just barely keeping my online classes afloat and its anyones guess how long i am going to keep doing that i really dont know what to do i just feel kind of like i am spiraling i dont want to tell anyone in my life god knows everyone is dealing with their own stuff right now i know i have it pretty well in comparison to some of my family and friends i just feel kind of like giving up everything just sort of sucks all the time the past week or so i have been literally running myself into the ground today i ran  miles just so i could finally sleep for a couple hours instead of just laying in bed staring at my ceiling im just so tired which is ironic considering all i do is try and sleep all day i have struggled with depression for pretty much all my life it feels like i spend  of the year in a haze it sucks going from feeling really good to feeling like you just want everything to stop every upswing i tell myself this is it its all downhill from here everytime i am wrong and i am so tired of being wrong when does it end,3.0
36630,dang no doubt tix are already sold out on  looks like no reselling for me this time  lol,2.0
36631,road to spirit lake closed due to rock slide and possible wash out  ,2.0
36632,its always sad when someone i thought was a neat person unfollows me on the other hand its not like i post anyt ,0.0
36633,join free to the playlist anxiety therapy for clients listenfreespotify suscribe ,1.0
36634,party with m starts at  o´clock  i have to bemuse myself today ,0.0
36635,what if i seek help and it doesnt work does anyone else resist seeking help because theyre terrified to find out that theyre fundamentally broken and beyond helpi understand that this is an illogical way to view depression and i know that it is an illness and not a personality flaw doesnt make this fear go away though,3.0
36636,hey guys i dont really know how to put this together but i hope someone will understandi have been diagnosed with depression over a year ago and life has been like hell ever since it started with an injury that kept me away from my sport for over a year and being an athlete that represents his country for his respective national team this was a huge hit for me being away from my friends and basically having no social life during that time other than going to a school that i hated was very tough i started feeling empty this was all at the beginning of my junior year of high school i couldnt bare going to school as it physically hurt me because of my injury as well as genuinely hating the environment i was in saying this hurts me so much given the fact that my parents spend loads of money investing in my education especially when the institution i attended is very prestigious and is arguably one of the top schools where i live at the beginning of that academic year my grades were very high until my injury my grades dropped dramatically and i couldnt do anything about it i felt very apathetic that year ended and i barely passed summer came and i had an operation to treat my injury and i just wanted a better quality of life going though recovery i felt good about getting a fresh start to my senior year and hopefully i could turn things around and get back on track school started and i was not doing well academically i told myself to just give it sometime because i had a lot of catching up to do until i reached a point where i was failing exams miserably while all my peers are getting straight as that time was around october of  and that time is where students start to apply to universities i gradually started losing sleep and that made things a ton worse at that point i just lost it i started skipping school had no appetite no energy no interest to do anything i didnt really to talk to anyone about it at that time i dont even think people noticed christmas break was coming and a few days before my mom took me to a doctor to help treat my sleep problems the doctor told me to explain what was happening with me and as i explained my symptoms it became clear to him that i was suffering from major depression and that was his diagnosis of why i am lacking sleep i was not surprised when he told me that i am depressed as i have been doing research on it and telling my parents that i have depression unsurprisingly they dismissed it every time as they do not believe in such a thing i missed the last week of school before the christmas break during the break i got a call from one my coaches and he told me that national team practices will start soon and i was invited to be part of the team a few months later we had a tournament which was held in my hometown we were one game away from qualifying to a larger more competitive tournament we blew the game and we lost in the final minutes that tournament was a burden for me it was my first tournament after my surgery i played terrible and i was not the same player prior to my injury with all that said i was still missing school due to my depression and when i attended i remember going the the school library frequently during recess and just having mental and emotional breakdowns i was failing most of my subjects and at that point i felt that i am destined to failure and i will never live up to my parents extremely successful reputation final exams came and i barely passed my school exams and got a high school diploma however i am enrolled in an international program as well so i had another set of exams i failed by one point i felt that the harder i tried the harder i failed it was very discouraging i kept telling myself to step up during summer i focused on regaining my elite status in my sport and i was part of the national team in  important tournaments one of which is the youth olympics in buenos aires overall we achieved historic results in regards to country and i played very well in one of the tournaments and i was contacted by a recruit in a preparatory school to train and develop my skills i saw that as an opportunity to take my game to the next level as well as use it to potentially get an athletic scholarship to go to university given that my grades will probably not get me anywhere i travelled to the states for training and long story short i did not stand a chance in my view i did not last long in the academy and i decided that i should just quit on the sport that i loved ever so dearly the only thing that perhaps has made my journey easier and go back homeright now i feel like i am the epitome of failure people that i thought were my friends never reach out to me i literally have no one to talk to i question my existence everyday i wonder if anyone is happy to have me in their lives cause my existince feels more pointless as the days go by and here i am sitting at home with no offers to university quit as an athlete a person with no social life  knowing that all my so called friends are having a blast dont get me wrong i do not envy any one of them i wish nothing but the absolute best for them but does anyone wish the same for me i just feel that i am incapable of doing anything i just suck i feel like if i were to disappear the world would have one less problem to worry about i dont belong here i just dont if you read this thing to the end i am really sorry i wasted your time but i needed to get this of my chestplease forgive me,3.0
36637,elainadanielle im so sad all these people are asking me to go to warped and i have to say no     idk what bands are playing in tornonto,2.0
36638,take a sad song and make it  goodnighttttt  ,0.0
36639,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
36640,the only thing better than starbucks is free starbucks ,0.0
36641,working on  budgets and plans ,2.0
36642,ramdas was right it doesnt matter so much until your mind is focused on it i cant sleep and you know why ,2.0
36643,rt hertaetae am i the only one who reads  why u sad in joon voiceevery fucking time i see it on my tl and,2.0
36644,nothing good ever happens to me i feel like a figurative punching bag for the world and i feel so powerless to fight against it i am so fucking tired,3.0
36645,stock market crash great depression and murder yet it has heartwarming end beyondthecarousel httpstcotwukixtgbl,1.0
36646,almost on her way home i wanna take a dip in the pool but i dont have one ,2.0
36647,rt yathinkn oh this is very sad senator claire has been a wonderful senator for queensland a real quiet achiever one of the few senato,0.0
36648,i wish i could buy halo pet food in stores  i am convinced thats exactly what my dogs need to kick start their new healthy lifestyle,2.0
36649,i cant find my ipodi think i feel sick ,2.0
36650,shizumataka  i love you ich liebe dich,0.0
36651,jayddragyn dont feel bad i cant do it either   we can cry together,2.0
36652, and not a merciful god either ,0.0
36653,na sad ko animal hahahaha,2.0
36654,boy i sure am having a lot of fun going to bed early for school tomorrow  oh wait,0.0
36655,last meeting done last email sent last tweet posted time to wander the offices and say goodbye to everyone hearingdogs now ,2.0
36656,preparing lasagna with my mother i loooooooovvveee lasagna ,0.0
36657,sods law todays isle of man tt postponed by rain ,2.0
36658,djcamilo its autobahn  not autobon greets from germany,0.0
36659,tonydick am i really that interesting  thanks for the nod hope all is well,0.0
36660,sandragraciela thats sweet  i cant wait til my b day,0.0
36661,lesson learnt dont get too cocky ,2.0
36662,am i attention seeking or depressed im sorry if im in the wrong place but im not sure im doing ok anymore im currently in school so im pretty sure my problems arent really as important as i like to think but i just wanted to type something somewhere i guess im female im only  and im not sure if im just seeking attention or if i need to get myself help people my age barely have mental illnesses from what ive heard so im probably just faking it subconsciously or my hormones are messed up somehow basically im just going to say everything i feel in some sort of an attempt to figure it out along the way im never motivated to do anything really i just get really irritated for no real reason for the smallest things i feel happy around my friends at school sometimes but other times i cant even give them a genuine smile i always feel like im a bad person and that i dont deserve anything ive been gifted with i dont deserve anyone i have in my life im probably really self centered if im being honest i have the irrational belief all of my family and friends hate me despite the fact theres no real reason to believe that and thats really all i can think of sorry,3.0
36663,please help me antidepressants   i recently moved schools amp am in my final year i smoke weed to cope but recently ive pushed everyone away and weed just doesnt do it for me anymore im so lost i want to die but part of me wants to get better im just terrified of the negative side effects of antidepressants will it just make me more depressed most people ive spoken to whove taken them dont have many good things to say i just want to feel less dead any advice is greatly appreciated  ps yes im diagnosed with anxiety amp depression,3.0
36664, following  followers and now  updates  does this linear progression mean i should update more or follow more ,0.0
36665,relaxing in the beautiful stratford connecticut pool i think so ,0.0
36666,my life is a failure amp i hate that i keep trying i just want to get this off my chest i have nowhere to turn but the internet for support ill try to keep it short as possible before i go to bedso many things in my life have just failed its been a pervasive pattern in my life for years i try to improve something in my life and i somehow end up making it worse i regain hope and try again only to be let down by myself  over and over again almost feels like there is some malevolent being following me around setting me up for failurewhat i hate even more is that i keep trying i go to bed the next day i wake up and feel better i try again i get hurt again always im too scared to commit suicide otherwise id be gone already i kinda hate this too im stuck suffering and i cant end it myself therapy antidepressants religion meditation exercise amp more ive tried it some have improved things but hey here i am anyways i wish i could completely change my personalitybrain to somebody normal i just wish i was a normal person,3.0
36667,  sundayfuday  we made you  jager bombs  wooooooo ,0.0
36668,going to a show to hang out with a boy in a local band and i have the worst anxiety send help,0.0
36669,fuzzymuzzy baha you guys kissed ,0.0
36670,second nosebleed of the day ,2.0
36671,  sonyacsa you are a sad pos women like the first lady wouldnt give you the time of ,1.0
36672,how do i help a person there is a person i have never met in real life on the verge of suicide i dont know what to do he doesnt want to call the suicide hotline and i dont know what to say help sorry if this is the wrong place to post but it felt like the most fitting,3.0
36673,drummrboy i cant ,2.0
36674,why am i struggling to sleep in recently  possibly the most cruel thing ever ,2.0
36675,i was looking for sad gifs but this popped up instead so im gonna leave this here and just like try to sleep bcuz ,1.0
36676,nikibrown there is too much crap out there but nowadays i look for video tutorials quotmuch either than written onesquot ,0.0
36677,ddlovato its just because everyone loves you demi  haha,0.0
36678,kerbitroy yuppers xd i really like them ,0.0
36679,am i struggling academically not really career wise could be better but im working on it friend wise i have some friends that i hang out with health wise i dont exercise and i dont eat enough i have to walk to the store which is annoying so i try and spread out my food as much as possible im probably undernourished and thats why i have no motivation to exercise which is a big issue i feel like if i started exercising i would feel so much better drug wise i drink a few times a week i used to black a lot but i cut back this semester i smoke sometimes too and am definitely less depressed when im high my point is my lifes pretty good but my mental health isnt that great and i cant think of anything in my life that would be causing it school wise i will procrastinate because if an assignment isnt due that day i just dont see the point of doing it i like the thrill of doing it at the last minuteso while my life is pretty good my mental health isnt and idk why theres a disconnect between the two im not really struggling in life but i am struggling mentally,3.0
36680,kerens last day at work im losing my buddyyyyyyyyyy ,2.0
36681,think ive used up all of my real followers in two followfriday tweets  maybe i should start socialising on the social network site,2.0
36682,when does it stop i need to post this because i have spent literally twenty four hours straight sobbing and i feel like i dont even know what to do anymore i cant get a break and i am so tiredmy life has slipped into hell ive spent one year going from bad to worsebackstory i live on the west coast with my partner my family died when i was thirteen so ive lived all over the county and drifted a lot i dont have friends because i keep moving partner begins cheating on me i slip into paranoia and delusion and psychotic anxiety that leads me to spend weeks not sleeping more than an hour at a time and not being able to work so i take break from corporate job of many years to go to outpatient treatment for bipolaranxiety issues that have gotten out of control in light of the abovefired for missing too much timegraduate program and feel slightly better despite loss of corporate identity i try to take control of life and begin school again and move across country with partner partner cheats on me again and requests we break up one month into new life at new placedrive back across country to try and figure out life againlose friends from constantly moving get new job in three weeks get fired for missing one day due to hospitalization for illnessone day after my birthday i am rapedinterview to two jobs and believe ill get hired only to find out they went with someone else at the last minute car repossessed sell all of my things and ransom it back credit goes from  to  cannot pay bills cannot pay my credit cards can not afford my medication  in debt that is not school related try to begin school again can not afford it even with financial aid three weeks ago driving home from job interview and someone totals my car even though its their fault i am underwater on my loan and  now have no car and no way to get a new one injured my shoulder and back in the accident person who is responsible will not return their insurance groups calls and i cannot get liability handled yet the medication for the pain makes me so sick i havent eaten in daysi cannot stop crying and i cannot figure out how to make better things happen to me but im tired and i dont understand why everything that happens to me happens to me im tying to be positive im trying to believe theres hope but i just think the universe wants me to kill my self at this pointi have no money no friends a body racked with pain and i just want a break please ,3.0
36683,free period  doing hmwrk good habits ,0.0
36684,mad that he has to goi dnt want him to ,2.0
36685,about to go to school  why doesnt it end already ,2.0
36686,stormywriting hmm you could paint them different colors and glue them to cardboard and make beautiful art out of them lol ,0.0
36687,scaffdogg come help me find chuck bass  im gonna go into new york on saturday if im not placed,2.0
36688,ok last day at work for this week than i have a loooong weekend ,0.0
36689,petersantilli  i knowsorry  it was crazy with the pigeons  i can bring them out sometime on the way to my moms house ,0.0
36690,dae know that they will commit suicide i feel so sure that i will kill myself before im  im not suicidal right now just a little ideation i feel so empty no one believes me when i tell them im feeling down because i dont show it to them do i just fuck this mask i wear off and show them how i really feel or do i just isolate myself from them all so i dont have to be told im not really that depressed my parents say that if i was really depressed i wouldnt be able to go out to the pub with my friends but its the only time im able to feel something my dad says im no where near as bad as he was when he had a breakdown as he wasnt even able to leave the house fml how am i supposed to get help when i only get referred to do some cbt every time i see my gp guess this is more of a rant than a dae buttfuckit ,3.0
36691,jaredwerewolf i got dirt bikes today ,0.0
36692,sunday game plan dog park with lil tuck costco for weekly supplies then cooking ,0.0
36693,keemgreene uhmm maybe another night lol i jus got back from a  hour train ride today i need some rest  lol,2.0
36694,ehayen well see ,0.0
36695,watching the golden girls and getting ready for bed ,0.0
36696, years old nothing to live for anymore so hey guys and girlsthis is my first post and probably last one aswellplease dont be mad about my english its not my first languagemy depression has gotten so bad that i dont have the will to live anymore my life did not start so well as i was being abused by my stepfather for  years mentally but more physicallyhe cut me stabbed me beated me left me with no food in the attic for a couple of days etcwell school found out and i was placed in fostercaremy mom also came with me to my first fosterhomenow we are in the fosterhome for like a year i just turned  and my mom has gotten to know a other guy she moved in withi had to go to another fosterhome because she disowned mefrom that point on i was property of my countryi was alone scared and had absolutely no oneno family no real friends to speak ofjumping to the current dayi had a relationship with a girl from my  till my  my current ageshe is leaving me because there is no more love between us thats her explanationshe is all i ever had quite litteralymy will to live all comes from that girlshe is already seeing someone else and i feel shoved asideshes barely speaking to mewe still live together but that will change end of aprilso i have no job no schooling to speak ofand to top it off its a constant struggle in my head between keep going or just end it alli really feel i just have to much pain in mei just wanted to for once tell my story to whom wants to read it,3.0
36697,squarespace has disappeared from the top  trending topics does this mean i have a bigger chance of winning ,0.0
36698,i dont know how to fix myself i dont know how to get out of depressive episodes on my own and in the past people have told me that ive brought them down with me and im afraid that thats what will happen again my boy friend has told me in the past that i brought him down a lot with my own depression and we almost broke up because of it but im the type of person that needs people  of the time whether its to talk to or help meor else i fall into these states what do i do please help me get out of these episodes i dont know what to do,3.0
36699,rt patcohennyt why is a belowaverage jobless rate still causing above average anxiety no security and stability  ,1.0
36700,my back hurts   oh haii twittter,2.0
36701,first arduino task completed blink a red and green led in sequence too bright needs a resistor no breadboard though ,2.0
36702,welcome to the twitter ,0.0
36703,knees starting to get worse again  just taking the other  tablets the doc gave me at the hospital might get a little spaced out lol,2.0
36704,i cant tweet as often now ,2.0
36705,i need options im out of options i was born in a family full of alcohol addicts people with bipolar disorder people with anger issues a grandpa that tried to commit a suicide because we were useless a grandma that called the police lying she got psychically abused by my mother a father trowing knifes at me because i was going against his will a mother that was trying to tell everyone how im nothing but a piece of sht relatives that didnt go to my grandpas funeral because they got too drunk the day before a relative trying to burn down our holiday house because it wasnt worth for the people like us and so on  it would be awasome if i could just ignore everyone and live a happy life but these events are still haunting me psychologists are not helping i cant live an hour without thinking about these things i am not your average human being i have troubles staying focused i cant maintain a job because somedays i just cant get up and ignore everything i am now in college but i will get kicked out because im failing every single class i cant study i either stay all day in bed or sleep for  hours  i get up and im waiting to either win the jackpot or get hit by a truck  i am running out of money i have decided to not have friends because everyone always just uses me like a toy and then betrays me i dont have a girlfriend because i have no idea how to express love only anger when im on the verge of a mental breakdown my life is slowly falling apart to the point of no return its very slowly but its going there  if you have a strategy that truly works and its not just stay happy no matter what id love to hear it because  i need options im out of options    ,3.0
36706,sad doubles pair lose on day  arjunshlok in   amp pranavsikki rohankuhoo in  in straight games at ,1.0
36707,idk what she meant by wouldnt be fair but holy fuck,0.0
36708,i hate actionscript it doesnt like me neither  im never going to get this done,2.0
36709,tomorrow im gonna manage my depression by telling everyone i have this amazing idea for a script and then give an ,1.0
36710,woke up just in time to miss todays sermon lol  thank god for the internet ,0.0
36711,why do friends lie and say they dont hate you when they clearly do,3.0
36712,anyone has severe depression a few months ago my therapist said i had severe depression i dont know how but i get whats she is saying to what i mean ive noticed that im always alone hide in my sweater never talk to anyone not even teachers or any adults have a few friends that i rarely talk to and all i do is write in a notebook about what happened today and how i feel ive also noticed that every night i cry myself to sleep and that i sleep with a knife if i take it too far if you catch my drift mainly what im saying is i need a friend or a supporter anything im tired of feeling like this and being like this everyday its tiring im pretty sure i have insomnia cause when i cry myself to sleep i wake up an hour later so yeah thats me feel free to dm me if you feel like it,3.0
36713,do i actually have depression i am diagnosed hi ive been diagnosed with depression but i dont know if i relate to depression actually i mean yeah i feel bad and ive felt bad for a long time but i also sometimes feel very very happy and i really love everything and nothing can bring me down but then something does and i crash really hard i have frequent anger often causing a rift in the relationship im in because my mood shifts so quickly that i cant keep up and neither can he i cant keep friends i seem to loose everyone i care about and i dont know what im doing wrong in life but sometimes i feel on top of the world ive read the  and other stuff about depression but really i cant tell if i actually have this or not im in therapy right now to help with that but im worried there is something mlre wrong with me to sum it all up is the way im feeling normal for someone with major depressive disorder,3.0
36714,shit shit shit shit i just cant take her getting over me and meeting new people while im still stagnated thinking about her all the time,3.0
36715,ddlovato colombia love you demi you have a  awesome voice  please sing  in spanish ,0.0
36716,rt incorrectloki a lesbian thor why are you crying who hurt youlesbian its just the onionsthor  im the pr,1.0
36717,liddomissjonas im sending you a dm now read it and respond  haha i hope you got my comment on myspace regarding july  for jb,0.0
36718,sold one of our puppies ,2.0
36719,aaaaa already missing them  cant believe i wont see them until next year if they come,2.0
36720,hi everyone animals fed amp watered housework here i come ,2.0
36721,functionally depressed i feel as though i am more functional than lots of people with depression that is going to class having semi decent grades keeping up with my hygiene etc and that makes me feel guilty i think part of it is not really being diagnosed well in a way i have just by filling out one of those routine mood sheets at a physical thats was a whole other breakdown i dont think i count that as a real diagnosis though and how i sometimes dont line up with all the symptoms of depression like i still cry a lot even in addition to feeling empty a lot of the time i feel like i save my depression for the weekend if that makes sense however recently its definitely been seeming into more facets of my life and lowkey getting out of control like how can i an able bodied cis whitepassing mostly straight woman really have depression when people have it so much worse than me i think that im just melodramatic and a shitty friend not someone with a real mental disordersorry for the ramblings and parenthesis,3.0
36722,good friends good times now its time to zzz up in  hours ,2.0
36723,i feel like im at the end of my rope hi there i feel like i just need to type out all the things that ive been feeling because i have no one to go toive always struggled with depression or bipolar or whatever the hell it is i have for like ten or eleven years now and every time i feel like maybe things are getting better i just fucking crash right now im dealing with the idea of facing my biggest fear being aloneover the last three or four years ive lost all my friends i only ever had a few close friends and everyone else i kept at a distance it used to be three people then it shrunk to two now its one but now hes leaving too im so terrified the fear is kind of consuming me and i have no idea what to do im scared that i wont be able to handle it im scared ill end up like my friend who killed himself three years ago i am so fucking scared out of my mindi dont know whats wrong with me i dont know what is wrong with me that all my best friends have left me i dont know what im going to do by myself i hate being alone for even a couple hours i hate myself i hate my thoughts i hate hanging out with meive been in and out of therapy for ten years i just contacted a different therapist would now be my third to set up an appointment i feel like im at the end of my rope and i dont think i can handle it on my owni know i keep saying it but im terrified im so terrified im scared of my friend leaving im scared about starting therapy all over again mostly im scared of myself,3.0
36724,novawildstar shinydan only got  so im interested how youll do  and  managed to get  too despite hardly knowing me lol,0.0
36725,yesss i have reached  views next goal    you know the drill ,0.0
36726,important question does anyone feel as if theyre just living their life waiting for someone or something,3.0
36727,sooo im going to the mall  and this rain sucks  but at least im goin with good friends ,2.0
36728,i cant believe its all gonna be over in a week ,2.0
36729,gawhatafeeling well actually last years tour haha i have never uploaded to youtube before so im really confused ,0.0
36730,has had to reboot her laptop to factory settings losing everything in the process ,2.0
36731,i got my salad and i feel good  ,0.0
36732,confused ive just left home and moved to a new city i was feeling a bit down even before i left but ive been feeling like trash lately i keep losing friends and find it hard to reach out to people my biggest fear is ending up alone one day,3.0
36733,grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr my brothers mean my sisters stingy still i love them ,0.0
36734,at home waiting for the gas msn to come service the boiler ,0.0
36735,live long and prosper ,0.0
36736,sertaline  hi did anyone else get really head pains on sertraline im on my first  day pack i get headaches often recently and tonight my head feels so weird is this normal will it go away eventually,3.0
36737,good morning twitters much prefer the blue sky  to the white one ,2.0
36738, dont let stress ruin your day support your mood stability with natural vitality calm try it out ,1.0
36739,hardrockchick totally understandable thanks for the few pictures you were able to post ,0.0
36740,gashead toptapas hubuk well food samples dont work ,2.0
36741,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
36742,still waiting on my prince charming hint to tom fletcher  ,0.0
36743,tearcatcher no ,2.0
36744,pinkmosss you should go see someone about that and you can use coping techniques to combat your anxiety,2.0
36745, that is amazing u are so lucky u know  what i love u ,0.0
36746,help im having anxiety attacks,2.0
36747,tsukasa with pat and jeff yumm ,0.0
36748, hey candiceand you have a great monday as well ,0.0
36749,hmez indeed it isand no sunglasses to wear   jvoooo,2.0
36750,can depression affect how i feel about my relationship iv had depression for years and been in this relationship for  years the past couple days iv gotten more depressed and a different feeling very suddenly feeling very numb and like i dont care about anything sleeping most of the day which i dont usually have no emotion with depression so since this i dont know if im happy in my relationship because i just dont feel anything right now i cant trust how i think because i cant tell if its really what i think or my depression is clouding how it actually is,3.0
36751,new here hi rdepression i have been struggling with depression since i was a kid and have been on antidepressants off and on for the last  years ive been back on meds for almost a year ive been having a lot of trouble lately feeling motivated to do stuff that i need to do im in college and have been taking classes every term since july  and have been doing pretty good im a huge procrastinator anyway but now when i try to do assignments i get really anxious about getting it in on time even though my instructors would rather get late quality work than on time bs the further i get behind the worse it gets ive never been diagnosed with anxiety but i do have add and take meds its like im too depressed to get started then when i do i get so anxious that i cant think and have to reread and retype stuff over and over because i cant get my thoughts straight the only way to make the anxiety stop is to not do the assignment aka try and do it later later doesnt always happen because add and i have a toddler and then it starts to snowball and now i have another assignment thats late ive been trying to find someone who can help me manage my meds and be able to talk if i want to but im not having luck and im getting more depressed,3.0
36752, batman arkham asylum but i dont own a system that will play it sadness ,2.0
36753,i feel like im turning into a full blown misanthrope i hate everyone except maybe  people i dont love anybody i dont think i ever have not family friends so nothing i was in a  year committed relationship and i dont think ever loved her abusive relationship ive never been able to connect with people and ive never seen much point in trying because i know i wont be able topeople are just terrible almost everyone only looks out for themselves will actively harm you just for fun or spite will manipulate lie and abuse you and just all around not caremore common than that though people are just apathetic i shouldnt say all people wish harm onto others because that isnt true a lot of people do probably even a majority wish harm onto some person or group of people but more common is just not giving a shit people care about themselves and maybe their immediate family and loved ones but thats pretty much it they see homeless people freezing to death and just laugh at them call them stupid junkies and say its their own fault they call mentally ill people like us weak or attentionwhores or whatever people just go about their own daily lives and if other people suffer sucks to be them and it must be their fault somehow the world is horrible its literally ending climate change is gonna kill us and people dont give a shit people continue to vote for candidates who support billionaires ability to do whatever they want people are not only indifferent to oligarchy they love it it means they dont have to think for themselves itll be taken care of for them let the corporate overlords tell us what to think people in the same circumstances will literally kill each other over artificial political divides a working class democrat and a working class republican have the same fucking problems the real divide is richpoor and always has been as long as human civilization has existed the division is intentional to keep the poor and working class from ever working together and helping each other out the world is ruled by money all you have to look forward to in life is decades of wage slavery unless youre like a lucky  your  priority has to be work no matter what kids family hobbies travel goals etc all take money so work has to come first work work work work thats it if you get a vacation thats maybe what  weeks max and you get it like every couple years and your boss makes you feel guilty about it god forbid you ever get sick or injured you might cost the bosses money and all youre allowed to be is their paycheck first a human being second it literally costs money to live if you cant afford food healthcare a house you die thats all there is to it and this is ok someone suggests that hey maybe being born poor shouldnt be a literal death sentence and we should try to help these people not die miserably in the streets and people yell cry and foam at the mouth you take that back you dirty communist i bet some of you reading this post are even about to say this pearlclutching bullshit butbutbut if we let poor people live what next we give them human rights these arent the american values i pray forfuck everyone i dont give a shit this world is irreparably fucked up theres nothing anyone can do were seeing the end of life as we know it and the billionaires in control will make sure nobody can do anything about it and nobody even cares to anyway as long as everyone can keep eating their fast food watch reality tv drink their alcohol go to church and watch their sports they dont care if billionaire oligarchs are literally committing a worldwide genocide against the poori hate people if any of you know the reference i feel like sweeney todd theres a hole in the world like a great black pit and its filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it and they all deserve to die even you mrs lovett even ii just know for a fact that unless i can literally escape society completely i will kill myself the intent is unwavering the problem is just the logistics im sure a lot of you know how difficult suicide actually is i cant participate in society anymore so i either escape it and live out in the woods or in a van or something or i kill myself those are the options,3.0
36754,caige i cant wait any plans to come to norway soon ,0.0
36755,tallivansunder i always thought that was kind of funny  but i guess it works,0.0
36756,rt philadelphiagov did you know philly has free mental health first aid classes learn how to deescalate conflicts amp help in a crisis ,0.0
36757,nsmonkeygirl is just a dirty old man with no mute button ,0.0
36758,not going to make it back to  today ,2.0
36759,its still  days away yet i am terrified ,2.0
36760,good morning twitter land wassup  battleground,0.0
36761,put a ring on it and take a honeymoon with httpwwwtraveljunkycom     ,0.0
36762,i forgot how much i really needed music until i barely had any for about a week but i have music now yay ,0.0
36763,fresh crisp garden salad drizzled with olive oil salt pepper and generous squeeze of fresh lemon very satisfying ,0.0
36764, im sure uncle will be happy to see you  tgif  thanks god its friday lol,0.0
36765,coldplay    that looks so much better than my commute to dc right now i cant wait to see u guys on thur  ,0.0
36766,rt kristinfg oh no our bub this is awful im so sad for him and his family ive lost my grandparents as well my heart hurts for him,1.0
36767,is going to work ,2.0
36768,mistygirlph  hey i am still on saturday here no waffles for me ,2.0
36769,is off to bed now has the  walk in the morning and it looks like it will be raining ,2.0
36770,marqjacob ok thats fine ,0.0
36771,laying in bed watching season  of   hell yes,0.0
36772,im sad ,2.0
36773,sarahwasphone i wrote that     my pal miranda sent that to you i appreciate it thanks sarah ,0.0
36774,  me and my sister younger ,0.0
36775,razzberrigrl summers the best on winter here enjoy the trip ,0.0
36776,i smell like one of those abandoned dogs that got rescued and are adapting to society and i will also like to greet people with hi im suicidal but because im stupid or naive im trying my best to keep going welp this is my last stand i promised myself that if i dont have a close groups of friends that genuinely care about each other in a time lapse of  months i will kill myself because nothing really matters the most to me without it all this bullshit existence is meaningless  months have passed and i havent make any progress in trust but at least i have get a little closer to some people that was good but then it came this little big problem that i really want to talk about it it is obviously a bad idea but it takes so much space im my brain and i just stay there in this awkward silence in witch im just standing there just as i wanted not to be for all of this and i can see how all of this can go just  months of this shit and then i will make something really stupid an reckless that will get myself killed and thats ok im leaving nothing behind but inconclusive dreams and naive hopes of a happy world and im ok hurting people i will not tolerate being like this for others that keep me alive for their own sanity its my choice in the matter doesnt matter how much you care and well here i am now doing some candle magic at night for luck and shit and well i just played a little with death using a plastic bag in my head is relieving and it is also practice for what could come on  months from here and that shit absorbed a lot of my smell sense i didnt planned on it but it was a nice outcome but something smelled weird like a dead or old animal of some kind obviously it was me i am the only animal im my room at the moment and well i apparently produce a lot of substances and i smelled horrible even though i shower this morning ¿is that the only reason why people choose to stay away from me  is that simple  is just bad genetic luck and ignorance about my own smell   years of suffering and loneliness resumes in that easy shit  well i need to do more research abut it but for the moment shower in the dark it is smell like wet dog instead of dead dog i needed to share this my mind is collapsing on itself and maybe i will end the night drunk and on some kind of stupid place i will call sick tomorrow i dont need vacations anyway no with death so close on the line maybe im just dammed and that is my only real choice but that doesnt matter thank you for reading me you are amazing ,3.0
36777,my dog peed in the bed we share that is my bed there is no reason why he would do that i wont talk to him now that was just bad ,2.0
36778,cayears hell quik had to something quickhe had performances all this year  the key club but they cancelled contact bc of non sense ,2.0
36779,rt carxlinv depression hours at it again brb ,2.0
36780,emily just oded  she scratched my burn mark  ,2.0
36781,feel as though my life has been robbed from me just ranting was once full of potential playing collegiate ball doing well in school had everything i wanted but a few concussions and stubbornness to get properly treated have led me to a life of constant debilitating migraines memory issue and general physicalmental deteriorationdepressionanxiety etc i went from being a  lbs to  lbs because i just stopped having the urge to eat due to the constant pain in my head ive seen more doctors than a person needs in a lifetime trying to solve the issues my brain causes but ive reached the point of no real hope ive been diagnosed with postconcussion syndrome and ever since there has been a disconnect with friends and family a loss of the person i thought id spend my whole life with and a crushing defeat in regards to continuing my education i now spend my days tucked away in my dark room avoiding light loud noises and social interaction its not that i choose to isolate myself its that it literally pains me to do otherwise ive never truly considered selfharm it would lead to major issues for loved ones i would never want my friends are already all consistently irritated at how difficult it is to hang out with me but i dont know how that makes me the bad guy they act as if i am dodging them out of distaste for them or something recently i was supposed to go to a big sporting event with a friend in my friend group but due to the growing frustrations of the others about me my friend dropped me in order to settle down any issues after this i found myself seething with anger but almost to the extent that it became nothingness if that makes sense this is mostly just a rant its hard talking to anybody about all of this because no one seems to ever truly understand sometimes i have this burning anger in me about the way my life has changed but lately ive had more of a sense of numbness just not caring at all about anything i wish i could just move far away and restart but thats not happening so im left laying in bed in the dark contemplating what could have been had the last few years gone differently,3.0
36782,baby mickey my dad died recently and going thru his things we found a baby mickey that you wind up and it plays peekaboo while playing its a small world i keep staring at it and crying im not  why im doing this i think it reminds me of my siblings when they were babies idk i just keep winding it and crying it does remind me of my dad its just weird ,3.0
36783,jpirouet cos i hadnt read it yet  lol  x x x,0.0
36784,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
36785, i hit reply instead of copying and only realised after id hit send then i got distracted ,2.0
36786,maritorres there was so much cross talk i missed the sanfordampson reference archive fred mentioned swine flu shot in old epi last week ,0.0
36787,from the symptoms i share is it possible im depressed it all started a couple months ago i started losing interest in things i loved such as writing and singing i started sleeping much worse and being constantly tired and not being able to sleep more than three hours a night or sleep without waking up two or more times i dont care about my clothing anymore or my looks i dont care if my hair looks awful or my clothes are stained i barely take showers anymore because i dont care what i look like i dont care about my grades in school anymore and im barely trying due to lack of motivation im constantly irritable and get annoyed or angry very easily small things can make me break down could this be caused by depression,3.0
36788,its been a year of not wanting to get out of bed  now today im being recognized at work for a small but happy accomplishment its all because i finally began taking my meds every day i think dont get me wrong shit still hard but i cant believe i did this  i called out of work over  times combined  i quit  jobs before this one now im being asked to write a small weekly blog post about my accomplishment im so overwhelmed by the task but i also know no one will actually read the business blog so its okay hahaha 😂,3.0
36789,shaninda yuppers lets make it happen u still talk to sashagomez she is mia ,2.0
36790,dear pandora  my blackberry storm wants you but cant have youyet ,2.0
36791,waiting to board train they are playing musical platforms at norwich station ,2.0
36792,wrapping up  client galleries  amp commercial files amp  client gallery due sat another long nite ahead ,2.0
36793,please help me i have been having suicidal thoughts for a long time and have even tried it a few times but its probably weird but i just everytime think about what itll do to my family and dont do it but i just cant take it anymore please help,3.0
36794,cant wait for thursday oh goodness me ,0.0
36795,lost hello community lately it has been a rocky life for me and at this point in time im just stuck i dont know how to get a job i suck at school like i barely passed my last semester i depend on the financial aid refunds i dont have anyone to talk to my dad thinks i am a flat out disappointmenti feel like this is what goes through his head hes ever actually said it i love to program but sometimes i just think what you think one day this is going to make you money go get a job lazy slob i am very scared of what life has ahead of me since i am only  and in a few months ill be  but i have yet to act like one i think my mother has had it with me to the point where she doesnt even try no more i have been living with my aunt for the past  months and i have done nothing that makes me a better person i have just been here in one place with no way of me being able to get myself out and walking a better path i have applied to a few jobs yes i am well aware that not all are supposed to hit me back but it sucks to know that you werent good enough or the spot my aunt has also been telling me that i need a job but this semester i am taking some difficult courses precalc business  accounting  and cs  to some they may say its not hard but to me i suck at school so this is pretty daunting to me sometimes i wish that a car would hit me at full speed while on my way to class because at this point i just dont know how to manage myself if you are reading this thanks for your timehope you all have a great dayimpuresilver,3.0
36796,blackouts and physical depression symptoms i believe that most people have had that moment where you stare off onto nothing and things start to black out or disappear i cant really explain but this sensation feels physical to me in a way if im on my way to school in the morning suddenly i just feel like things get off my sight and i have to stop for a little and this just makes me really frustrated if i had to describe it i would say that it feels like a body blackouti just sort of wanted to leave this somewhere so has anyone experienced this as far as physical depression symptoms go ,3.0
36797,when ur enemies r having fun but u still have depression abt what happened,2.0
36798,tweetermass heres a few  im sure one of them will fit  end end end end end e n dithankyou ,0.0
36799,eating  flapjacks got wifi ,0.0
36800,studying for my english grammar test off tomorrow ,2.0
36801,yaohya thank you ,0.0
36802,i wish they placed back trade and gift button  i think chobots are qutting because of that,2.0
36803,thoughts on the whole you have to help yourself thing i find this so hard to do years of builtup toxic coping mechanisms and depressive behaviours have made it very difficult for me to see my life in perspective and i often find myself at a loss to think of constructive ways to get better i have seen therapists and taken medication in the past and i try to force myself to exercise and eat healthily but i think its the daily toxic thought patterns that inhibit me from finding contentment i am going to try mindfulness againanyone else done those cbt thought record sheets as well booooring but sometimes helpfulugh isnt life hard i think i get caught up in my toxic behaviours such as procrastination dissociation etc and find it so hard to get myself out of that headspace and then feeling shitty due to the amount of time ive just wasted find it even harder to muster up motivation to do basic things because i feel so crap,3.0
36804,elcamilledub im sorry pumpkin  xoxoxo hope that gets you through from me til i see you agaaiiinnn,2.0
36805,is sitting in a hanging wicker egg chair sipping on a pot of pure blonde and looking off into the bay  ,0.0
36806,ive just about reached my limit i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when i was  almost  years later im still fighting its gotten significantly worse these past few years the depression never lessens im always anxious and paranoid and ive been getting sleep hallucinations on top of everything i dont have anyone i can talk to about this because of my fucking autism im terrified of calling a psychologist i cant tell my mother the one time i tried to kill myself she kept calling me selfish in the hospital room and now i cant even talk to my boyfriend about how i feel because hes now more mental than i am so i do the only thing i can think to i take sleeping pills when i need to calm down i take triple the required dose this is the only thing that makes me forget the bullshit in my life if i wasnt too scared to do it i would be dead by now i have literally no respect for my own life i dont even care about leaving my family and bf behind anymore i just want it all to stop im only  but it already feels like my life is crashing and burning all around me to make it worse my bf has broken down and is only a shell of the person i used to know so now i have his mental problems to deal with on top of my own i just cant do it anymore ,3.0
36807,sushi and green tea for breakfast finished off with cough syrup ,2.0
36808,pngen beli dvd princess hourstp gk ada yg nemenin ,2.0
36809,macaroni and cheesepuke ,2.0
36810,im up and eating yummy breakfast with my sweety little brother  omg sweety not really  hehe ,0.0
36811,congratulations indrek really glad about the result  ,0.0
36812,purrcrabs usps deposited mine at customs and theyve been sitting there for  days ,2.0
36813,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
36814,jewelstaite on the east coast we eat lots of dead cow flesh drink lots of beer and hit the shore for the fireworks ,0.0
36815,benecholsisking didnt think about thatmay not be able to get one anyway if the preorders are all sold out  probably better that way ,0.0
36816,first time doing this but i need help anonymously i dont know what to do hi allnot sure this is the right place for this i submitted it on rsuicidewatch but theres so many threads on there i fear i wont get any replies  i need some help and im scared to call a suicide hotline for fear of them staging an intervention or some such thingthis is a first for me  ive had moments in my life where ive felt close to the edge but things have been really hard recentlyill cut to the chase herethree years ago i suffered a workplace accident and broke my  vertebrae in addition to my hip i sustained mid back complications as well that have caused heavy spasms and contusions ive been fighting workers comp for all three of these years to get treatment i got my spine fused two years ago and my hip a little less than a year ago  while things are better to the extent that i can walk and such i live in constant pain and discomfort i still need to ice my lower and middle back constantly i recently successfully applied and got invited to my dream job in the peace corps but when i got to medical clearance they told me i couldnt handle the job this has left me devastated i thought i could beat this thing through sheer force of will but my plans have crumbled to nothing and i dont know what to domoreover i was molested at a christian summer camp when i was  years old and i have never been able to move past it it has completely impaired my ability to form emotional attachments and even to perform sexually  not necessarily all the time but enough that i have blown every chance ive had at romantic normality or happiness i fear its messed me up beyond repairi am now  and tottering under the weight of these burdens while in the past ive had an active and enjoyable social life and greatvaried friends a mixture of chronic pain and my own personality defects led to me having a very lonely ahd depressing new years  a massive contrast from only a year ago when i had a pretty damn good timethe holiday isnt the cause of course  its more just the catalyst to underlying issues i cant seem to beati am lonely i am in pain i want desperately to live a normal life but i no longer believe it is possibleis there anyone out there who has beaten something like this what the hell do i do where do i turn how do i overcome this is it even worth it i just want it all to stopi would appreciate any advice i really would i need  to be different and i fear it will not be,3.0
36817,thinking about the future makes me sad first of all hello rdepression this is my first post here and really took me a lot of courage to do so i am brazilian so the text might be kinda messy at times and i am really sorry about that i am not really sure on how to express my feelings with words lets just say the past  years have been quite rough to me had many emotional meltdowns that led me to lose all the few friends i had i am scared now to talk and meet new people not even really sure on how to even start a social life i guess my introvert and shy traits may have worsen my situation even more right now in brazil it is  am it became quite the routine for me to stay awaken until late recently i have graduated from college and as many of you might have already experienced i am just scared to take the next steps in life i am insecure even to go outside other than my family members that i rarely talk to i literally have nobody and back when i had suicidal thoughts all that my family did was criticise me i guess due to their lack of understanding of my feelings so to avoid any more of that in the future i basically hide my emotions from everyonenot everything in life is being miserable though i am talking initiative to take new steps into my professional life and my family fully support my desicions in that manner at least even paying me a course that will surely help me in the professional market but as the title says i get so scared of even thinking about going out trying new things look for a job everything seems like a burden feels like i lost the enjoyement of life when i swear that i try my very best to be happysometimes thinking about the uncertainty of the future or even the few happy moments i had in the past that may never happen again makes me cry a lot i guess nostalgia also impacts me i avoid social media because looking other people happy and succeeding in life makes me extremely disappointed at myself and even jealous i wish i had friends to go out and talk to but life hasnt been very generous to mei would like to know if you guys have any tips to overcome that and be a little bit more optimistic in life thanks for anyone that read this ,3.0
36818,i feel so helpless without my iphone   damn me forgetting it,2.0
36819,bad news  i lost aaah hah thats good for me thinkin im sum big poker player i play to win but  i lost big time,2.0
36820,jonny ive also got an exam on the  what time is yours mine is at  ,2.0
36821,i hate my school environment honestly i have never felt this mentally ill ever in my entire life it is so bad it just physically hurts at this point i can socialize i am a pretty confident guy that is not my problem but i just dont seem to have chemistry with anyone here i was in an amazing environment great class with a respectful group of friends in my previous school until we have decided to move on i have been here since  grade and i havent felt true joy since then being used as a puppet not seeming to fit etc etc i am pretty much stuck here i cant go back neither can i leave for another  weeks which i clearly cant handle anymorethat is if my parent let me leave the school to begin with  it has gotten so bad i get panic attacks whenever i enter the school with a shit class and horrible people i have alot of friends here but for some fucking reason i have to spend  min of my break time trying to find someone to talk with they just never seem to come to me never seem to truly act like geniue friends besides of making fun of me it is a toxic environment that is slowly killing me inside shit class horrible people it is honestly difficult to continue living like this,3.0
36822,i need plans for this beautiful sunday ,0.0
36823,antidepressant meds when i was working on a regular schedule i was taking my meds at a regular time now because of how inconsistent my schedule is i try taking them at the time im suppose to but i end up sleeping through it instead any advice  i feel like shit when i wake up past my med time,3.0
36824,rt jaimelynnariel finished the fosters and im sad ,2.0
36825,juliesco you seem to do that rather often i miss you friend ,2.0
36826,so i get this in the mail quothorny sophie is now following you on twitter�quot and im like what the heck proceeding to block sophie ,0.0
36827,chrissyl unfortunately its a big backyard herwonderfulday  i literally quotawwwquoted,0.0
36828,meshellaurie wow  that is awesome  congrats  maybe some of the baby dust can rub off on me  been  months amp counting now ,0.0
36829,meltemsem  i did thanks so much   and good morning to you ,0.0
36830,seoulfully we are fighting ,2.0
36831,dodoiscool lol yes they were so  i remember they were nominated  camp rock n jb themselves for peronality blahhh  dnt no if they won,0.0
36832,mangocita nice to read youre doing great ,0.0
36833,ruined my life who knew shaping your future and decisions around the desire to be with someone in a long term long distance thing would eat me alive and then id more or less he left to pick up the pieces of my shattered fucked up nobody life hahahai am a nobody and im a less than average male shes an average looking woman naturally attention and support right or wrong will flock to her i get dirt kicked in my face and am meaningless to those around me i dont belong currently hoping to procure a potently toxic  pill tired of living like this,3.0
36834,back from long vacation ,2.0
36835,rt odiexyz the internet is the root of my anxiety,2.0
36836,sorry for all the tweets of the same thing twitterberry was acting werid oh btw happy jonas day ,0.0
36837,wooohooolong way to go before i call this day a complete boring daydarn ,2.0
36838,dance awards were awesome loooking forward ot footy now ,0.0
36839,rt madlams depression took my niece this afternoon i am so broken by this my baby couldnt go on anymore 💔 ,1.0
36840,sorry  gross idea ,2.0
36841,prozac fluoxetine  advice helloo so ive come here to get some kind of sense of peace with my new prescription of prozac i hear a lot of negative effects of it from watching youtube reviews of peoples experience with it yea i know everyone is different but i was wondering if anyone had any positive experience with this drug and the side effects you experienced im just starting now and i know itll take a month or so to kick in im just very anxious of the side effects and need to hear some good stories,3.0
36842,ive  been onoff suicidal for over  years now i might have cancer so doctors found a lump in my breast after i had some symptoms got checked outit is very emotional for me because ive been hoping something like that would happen since i was a kidive tried killing myself but never succesfully and as most of you know there is alot of guilt involved in it leaving loved ones behindi have tried help since i was  therapy medicin electroshock therapy nothing has ever worked i was abused as a child and it have made living painful my entire lifei was doing somewhat better this last year but now that i know this i will know if its cancer or not next week i cant help but hoping that it isand it makes me really sad because that deep rooted wanting to die is still very much there and this way no one would be mad at me for dying i know i will be dissapointed if its not and i have to pretend im happy about itthe situation is fucked    ,3.0
36843,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36844,movewithme ngl i would prefer zefron over chace chace is pretty but boring like ryan ross  is shot,0.0
36845,i was right street market  rain  not a good idea am at home now with the fire on and a bacon sandwich yummmmm ,0.0
36846,my antidepressants dont work they dont make me  happy they just make  me numb and sometimes mildly energetic and when im off them i feel stagnant numb and boerd ,3.0
36847,i always plan to sleep early and then get distracted damn you internets ,2.0
36848, britains got talent the dance group diversity who were just awesome ,0.0
36849,carebearluvsjb ill try this againlmao ,0.0
36850,revising ,2.0
36851,myspace is boring entertain me ,0.0
36852,selfisolation encouragement i hope everyone who is self isolating in this pandemic is hanging in there i know people who struggle with being alone for too long and are having an especially hard time dealing with it in the midst of all this this is something we are all affected by and we all dont know how it will end there are people dying losing their jobs and panicking but as i mentioned above we are all in it together online communities like this is one of the best examples of how we can help eachother out if you dont have anyone else to reach out to people here will listen it also should be said that you dont have to feel guilty for simply doing your best to stay in and hold out one of the biggest things i use against myself is the time i waste because im sad ive now been unemployed three weeks and im having a hard time trying to be productive while also being anxious about this thing and the future im one of those people putting immense pressure on myself to come out with something good of all this time and its making me angry and even more depressed i want to encourage myself and others by saying that its ok to just stay in and wait this thing out if you are able to do so do your best to do things that make you happy and not worry too much,3.0
36853,so happy im not sad,1.0
36854,ladyrubaiyat um are you talking about me or spidrmonkey or both  because the answer is yes either or ,0.0
36855,if i have things to do i want to die if i dont have things to do i also want to die but i dont think im brave enough to go and actually kill myself so im just hereyesterday i tried to write a final letter but i didnt even know what to say today i received a bunch of emails about things i have to do at first i felt motivated sure i can do it i wrote things down in my agenda and started the day cleaning my bedroom but soon i realized nothing had changed that sudden motivation was gone and im here again crying and wishing i was dead i really really wish i had a terminal illness so nothing mattered anymore i wish the world ended right now i wish i didnt existmy family is in the living room having a good time why cant i just go there and enjoying time with them they are probably the only reason why im still alive because i dont want to break my parents heart because ill miss my brother a lotmy friends already have a job and im here being so stupid or something that i cant finish the paperwork to get my degree that i cant finish my thesis i hate it i truly hate it this stupid thing is what caused everything studying international relations was the biggest mistake ive ever made the fucking thesis and the paperwork is whats draining my motivation and energy and for what so at the end i can get one of those stupid jobs with a low pay so i have to go and pretend that sure my dream has always been to be a fucking secretary theres nothing in this world that i enjoy more than working every single day so rich people get richeri hate everything maybe im just really dumb and weak maybe its true that i just have to grow up and understand that this is how this world works ,3.0
36856,its sunday that means tomorow i have school ,2.0
36857,last night in calgary  dinner and drinks tonight,2.0
36858,asianpenmaster mia whats your ym ,0.0
36859,rt pakejadinda cun la untuk korang nak release stress hujung minggu ni ajak member  orang pun da best nithe stick kuala kubu baru,1.0
36860,suziperry  i better enter then  lol,0.0
36861,my vmoda headphones have died so sad ,2.0
36862,bccf i have time next weekdm me some options ,0.0
36863,trickyshirls spongebob squarepaaaaannnntttsss  ,0.0
36864,duno anyone on twitter ,2.0
36865,couple of hours in bed while the gp was on slept a bit feel just as trashed as before i went feel like im wasting a day for training ,2.0
36866,kingdomguard i know cheeseburgers are a given but gahenburgahs have a special place in may fuzzay heart ,0.0
36867,ughhhhh  i really dont feel like hitting the gym but i gotta do it ,2.0
36868,been depressed and thinking of active suicidal thoughts therapist kind of got mad at me for it  is she right to act this way hi i hope this is the right place to post in and please i dont wish to be referred to suicidewatch or anything thank youso ive hit a depressive phase for the last  months and have my reasons for suicide and although my therapist doesnt know them all she understands that the reason i want end my life is loneliness now shes offered some resources that kind of bandage the symptoms but dont treat the source and so i havent actively used her suggestions among other minor reasonsand when i told her ive been thinking of ending my life she got kind of angry and frustrated because you complain about being lonely but dont make an active effort to change that and i just am kind of shocked because im at this point in my life and instead of being comforted im being lectured for wanting to die as if they can just judge me and know what its like cant i just die but i basically dont know if it was justified for her to react that way or if it was out of line,3.0
36869,lysdeltellez i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
36870,todayactually yesterday i applied for a job i probably wont get but i liked the thunder  wish my summer would hurry up and start,0.0
36871,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
36872,now that summer break has finally started its time to isolate myself from my friends and wallow in my depression ,2.0
36873,says he didnt win the lottery  ,2.0
36874,in macomb visiting my dear sweet lil bro and his friends are all racist sexist jerks ,2.0
36875,ahhh  my head herts so freakin much ,2.0
36876,sandimon i hadnt no been kinda snoozing on the couch this morning another late nite on twitter   hey endlessblush nice helmet ,2.0
36877,schooollll theres only  weeks anyway after that hello fulltime job and endless shopping  ♥ ,0.0
36878,extremely bad social anxiety to the point where i dont know who i am anymore zero friends every time i talk to someone i make up a persona but usually this persona is extremely boring or very catering to whoever im talking to i also depersonalize and disassociate very heavily when im talking to someone like im losing control of the wheel and i feel completely empty minded i havent been able to be myself since around  years old and im  right now i want to change so bad i just ruined a potential relationship with a girl because of this i dont know if ssris will help or just make it all worse because i need to feel emotion i dont want to dull them further because i already feel emotionally undeveloped and i need to grow i am fundamentally a toxic person and i want to be better i just dont know where to begin i see therapy but it hardly helps at all,3.0
36879,officialftsk awww i know it says to fly but darn this economy  ill be there in spirit rock out and show em how we texans do,2.0
36880,had a very long musical day  durufles requiem a bugger to play but glorious to listen to ,0.0
36881,libbyoliver awww hope all is ok  i just did my workout ,0.0
36882,rt adeapristine bellletstalk is supposed to help people feel comfortable opening up about mental illness unfortunately in my case i se,1.0
36883,iamalejandra okay on the same page and i love the rock post to    ,0.0
36884,my sons  sleepover at grandmamas tonight  ,0.0
36885,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36886,you prolly have more access than i do  i might tell you something different in dm tho,0.0
36887, oh yes  thanks been deep in thought ill have a look thanks and get back to you ,0.0
36888,what is better than friends amp slumber parties hmmm let me think about it i know nothing is better than friends amp slumber parties ,0.0
36889,phuckingenius if you like  laughhave a good timefollow meits just that simple ,0.0
36890, done that still no color smileys  twittelator,2.0
36891,coriluvnthedon yeah he came out right after you guys left  how was it hanging wit them today seen ya on the vid,2.0
36892,losing a boyfriendgirlfriend is hard but losing a best friend is harder im a  year old female and ive been suffering from depression and anxiety for a long time and with problems dealing with stress and my emotionsmy scenario i was in a relationship with my partner for  years and my bestie for  years but this year has been utter hell after a mutual brake up with my partner for  years and losing my former best friend out of the blue i went to my best friends place to calm down and to be there for each other my for my friend has schizophrenia and is transitioning into a female my emotions have been up and down like a rollercoaster ive been more stressed lashing out more than usual even in public areas after a few days of spending at my friends place i started to have sexual thoughts about her partner this was due to the fact that i broke up with my partner and my emotions were out of control he sent a text to me one day saying that he doesnt want to be friends with me anymore until i change which is easier said than done i am now living with the fact that i have lost two important people in my life and i am spiralling out of control with a few ups and downs along the way and having things suicidal thoughts i feel like i have nothing left in this world accept my family a caring neighbour and and some friends of my ex partner thanks for reading,3.0
36893,i just realized i told dominicscott i loved him earlier and he never replied omg ,2.0
36894,ugh i really want to win the ticket to bowl with dear and the headlights but i dont have the  to keep bidding ,2.0
36895,stacychu yeah im on the way to new jersey now its  right now man my mom is mad at me cause the airport threw the lock away ,2.0
36896, thats about it ,0.0
36897,so far this weekend has been quite good ,0.0
36898,oh no adult school again ,2.0
36899,rt saraashcraft you guys what did cronsell amp i tell you they seriously physically cannot handle the stress of thegreatawakening th,2.0
36900,mercuralis what no pic or link to said models giant twat lips  thats just cruel ,2.0
36901,add my orkut   thank you ,0.0
36902,when you grow up no one will care about you anymore adults only care about one thing moneythey are constantly in pursuit of the perfect formula how to convert time into money in the most efficient way possiblethey will manipulate trample humiliate and irreversibly hurt each other in order to attain more moneywhat is the worth of their wealth when there is no love left in the world,3.0
36903,pegasuslegend thanks for the kind words about wikihow ,0.0
36904, i know i can barely believe its almost over thanks for the review lovely ,0.0
36905,getting invited out sucks when you have no motivation what so ever ,2.0
36906,thelazza shaneneubauer floatleftdisplayinline  isnt working ,2.0
36907,pinkiepie i said i doubt ill be passing them up i mean if theyre worthy of my time and willing to have a good time then why not ,0.0
36908,comfypaws  really   i do not know what to say   i  know to little about this  i think i will stop digging ,0.0
36909,tired but the music was nice last night still headaches ,2.0
36910,think im gonna hang it up cant do it anymore tried every diet possible im so skinny ribs always show yet whatever i eat im always some variation of ugly dont know if its carbs or sugar or whatever but everyone always turns their heads or doesnt look at me no one helps me or assists me with anything everyone acts like im delusional and say i look the same but whatever got a job that i start tommorow but fuck that its over in a few hours,3.0
36911,a few more hours ,0.0
36912,rt zachxr memes are good for your mental health,0.0
36913,danudey nice where did you see it ,0.0
36914,am gonna really miss this place ,2.0
36915,everyone says a relationship wont make you better but im convinced that it really could just a quick tldr about myself im  super lonely and smoke weed super introverted and no friends one really close best friend havent had a girlfriend or a new friend in years no close girl friends at all or a guy friend groupi dont know my point is that everyone i talked to and all the advice i see online says that you should be okay with yourself first and be happy with yourself before being in a relationship will even do anything but that is the reason why im depressed ive gotten close to girls and then been rejected eventually countless times in the last  years its just something wrong with me and every girl i get close to just keeps showing me that something about me scares girls away when they get too closeso i dont really know what to do i feel like a relationship would make me happy because thats the reason im sad i have no one to go back to no one to go anywhere with no one to share things with no one to be excited for me or care about me when im sick anything i feel like i have so much passion for certain things but i have no one to share that passion with on those things even though i know there are people out there who feel the same way im not given a chance,3.0
36916,djtrauma awwwwwwwww how i miss the velvet room ,2.0
36917,help hello ive recently been in a state of where i feel sort of like empty with nothing to look forward to just less than a week ago i was an amazing  year old living life and enjoying it on monday night while watching a documentary i just went into a deep train of thought i have no clue what im exited for in life i get my license in a few months after that theres nothing to look forward to can someone help i wouldnt say im suicidal but i have thought about how people around me would feel if i wasnt here and it makes me sad and i would never in a million years make them go through it my family on one side has a history of depression if i had to describe how i feel it would be unmotivated depressed and tiredive had some spur of the moment times in the past few days where i feel back to normal but they last an hour at most i dont really even remember what i thought about on monday but i feel like theres something in the back of my head that just constantly makes sad ill have something happy happen then just oh wait i cant be happy because of x reason and i dont know why i think like thati dont want to go outside and everything in my home feels almost like foreign i made a sandwich to eat because thats when i normally eat not because i was hungry thank you in advance hopefully someone can help,3.0
36918,i use google readers email service a lot and guess what they blocked my reader account thinking i am a bot  fail,2.0
36919,wants a nice dinner im starving ,2.0
36920,the hills season finale its not going to be the same without lauren ,2.0
36921,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
36922,im just so damn tired the title says it all i wake up every morning dreading that i didnt die in my sleep i drag myself through the days working at my dead end job knowing ill never make anything of myself i know this because ive lost all passion for all my hopes and dreams i wanted to be a  writer but the more i look at my work the more i realize how ill never be as good as others im annoyed by the ones who love me and i get so angry when they check up on me i truly wish they would just forget about me im not worth their time why do they waste their short lives worrying about someone as insignificant as me i feel trapped like i want to end my life but i cant do that to my mom especially when shes going through recovery from breast cancer i know it would destroy her finding out i ended my life but i hate this i hate living only so i dont hurt anyone i go through day to day hoping something kills me i dont see the point anymorei know it just seems like im complaining but i need some outlet to rant i dont know how people can live like theres some purpose to it all looking at life like its beautiful it feels like its literally impossible to be hopeful anymore,3.0
36923,japhun yeah you are so excited coz next month ull be on holiday ,2.0
36924,i was at the pool  hours first time this yeari love swimming i could spend there my entire lifenot even one good looking guy ufff ,2.0
36925,photoshop crashes as soon as it has scanned any images ive scanned the same frames multiple times now ,2.0
36926,others bertawooster thanks for the cider  guarana is a very yummy fruit  amp the voddie looks good in ,0.0
36927,joeymcintyre conragts on link  love the shirts ,0.0
36928,jayz has killed autotune rest in peace damn i cant even use my autotune record ,2.0
36929,im checking myself into a institution monday i am not ok at all i wish i didnt have these erratic thoughts of hurting myself i almost hurts myself again because i thought i failed a class i hope when i finally find my way i can finally make some friends i struggle to find my way with in a group but i never feel like i belong or that im forcing myself to be their friends i feel so unlikable and ugly my only close friends i get a message from are my boyfriend i just wish i had a inch of confidence to think maybe im ok and i finally feel ok with this group of people i dont want to possibly hurt myself anymore ive been through enough and i just want to heal already thank you reddit at the very least being the only friend i had to find advice when i had no one else,3.0
36930,loneliness sucks stupid vent this website seemed to be the only place where people might possibly listen to my idiotic vent but i just want to get some things off of my chest over the past couple of months my depression has increased dramatically and its been very hard to deal with it in my everyday life in my opinion a couple of months ago i was doing ok i stopped cutting myself which is good and i had a lot of support from friends however recently i have noticed that one by one they left me and slowly stopped talking to me i would go days on end with barely having an actually conversation with someone people stopped talking to me at lunch as they focused on topics im relatively in to i was left out the the conversation and those are practically my only friends later on my friends exclude me from group project which was basically every assignment in my school and i was left alone nobody around me i felt utterly awful about myself i started to question why they left me so abruptly and i later started questioning myself i began to deem myself the problem i felt as though i was boring to listen too and the only reason they became friends with me is because they pitied me as time progressed i became more visibly depressed due to the fact that i felt no one cared about me now the only people who try to talk to me are my teachers and it just makes me feel worse about this whole situation i could go more in depth on my situation but i think its best to leave it here ,3.0
36931,so excited  at medieval times loving the smell lol so cool and i can tell that we have many hours of fun ahead  ,0.0
36932,quotnote that not just iran is censoring the internet germany wants toquot jeffjarvis  embarrassing  zensursula,2.0
36933,disappointed how a colleague can so spectacularly  fall of the diet wagon ,2.0
36934, ah hi o hi hotis for work two days just north of france  still no breakkie on the train tho ,2.0
36935,optimuscrimeto kfc but only because i kinda wish i had a justification for eating it no hangover no dirty bird ,2.0
36936,i voted for you mileycyrus you deserve every award that your nominated for ,0.0
36937,my little oscar is wearing the collar of shame for  weeks ,2.0
36938, true very true   ,0.0
36939,aquariusdaisy agreed ,0.0
36940,kimkardashian nope but it looks so scary ,2.0
36941,esoterismo the dali lami speaks spanish cool ,0.0
36942, lol well i hope it gets better for you soon  anywho what have you been doing with yourself today then x,0.0
36943, i knoww  amp my poor hair im pissed where were the showers in april mother nature youre  late btch,2.0
36944,not going out tonight cause its raining ,2.0
36945,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36946,i think watching politics is messing with my mental health burnedout,1.0
36947,hey alex yu is hawt guuuurl lets walk to maccas hahaha chaiichaichai ,0.0
36948,tiernandouieb well thats a relief ,0.0
36949,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
36950,doing nothing but figuring out twitter today ,0.0
36951,jamiesjewels   thanks jamie i hope to get some time to set up my new workspace tonight and would love to look at your new items  ,0.0
36952, years old father college student tired drunk right now pretty done with life can never get out wife never home adorable baby daughter who i love more than everything on this planet desperately dont want her to remember her sad dad been to four therapists sick of it meds dont seem to help and destroy my sex drive by extension relationship senior in college but so tired cant focus anymore suffer from chronic pain and generally degrading routine after a major surgery where i lost my colon from from an upper middle class background loads of support and privilege but tired of being a drain ,3.0
36953,rt michaelaokla u know whats hot its hot when men go to therapy and work through their mental health issues with a licensed profession,0.0
36954,devyra awesome  id like to keep working on my next chapter but ill be off to school shortly,0.0
36955,happy mommas dayy fam breakfast with the madre ,0.0
36956,someone needs to bequeath unto me the secrets of twitter plz ,2.0
36957,myspace lays off  of their staff today  ,2.0
36958,saw a spider on my coffee table ran to grab a paper towel came back amp lost the damn thing spider loose in my living room ,2.0
36959,potek im so excited ,0.0
36960,no more cat ,2.0
36961,frak heading home might get a friend over to shoot some pool and drink with me ,0.0
36962,i dont know how to handle this anymore  was rough really rough and in november right by my birthday i had a mental breakdown i was very open about it and basically screamed to high heavens for help and support to the point that ive straight out told people that i want to kill myself without much of a reaction and it only leaves me feeling even worse   i have been steadily getting worse im actively harming myself and i have pretty much shut myself inside only getting up from bed to go to work barely even that since i can work from home if i need to its really frustrating how lonely i feel but i dont feel like trying to reach out to people anymore since it doesnt feel like its going to change anything   i have one friend that occasionally checks up on me she pretends everything is fine and doesnt fully respond to my comments about wanting to end it all though she has a couple of times mentioned girl a lot of us are worried about you which has steadily made me even more upset not at myself but the ones she claims to be worried about me if they are aware of my mental state enough to talk to each other about it why dont they talk to me about it i appreciate the concern but not the feeling of abandonment that comes with it i understand where they are coming from but them only talking with each other about how im doing is making things worse im not an aggressive person i dont have much of a temper at all actually something that is actually a flaw of mine so i know the silence is not because they are afraid of me i understand the complications of not knowing what to do with a depressed friend i know that there sometimes isnt time nor energy to help someone and ive always been very supportive of people having to remove themselves from hard situations like this just because it is too much for them i know they mean well i know its hard but i dont want to be understanding anymore understanding their side makes me more upset at myself for being upset at them  but right now i cant think about anything but suicide its the first thing i think of when i wake up in the morning and the last thing on my mind when i finally manage to fall asleep i see no way out and even if i do get better what do i have to come back to people that i in the end most likely feel that i cant trust will i even have people around me that didnt throw me away now that ive been too depressed to chase them not worth it ive been contemplating whether or not i should say anything about that im actually planning on killing myself and that im getting some things in order in preparation for it but asking anyone for help hasnt worked earlier so doing it now shouldnt do much of a difference except postpone it because nothing is going to change anyway i have a gnawing feeling that i should say something instead of just straight out doing it but i know since ive gone far enough over the edge to now wanting to drop all my understanding for other peoples distress over my mental illness that im just going to be very angry about it that i would in pure frustration just drop my good girl act and just say that its their fault that i have given up that its their silence that have led me to this that the fact that they left me alone and pretended everything is fine even though ive been open and clear about how badly im doing that has pushed me to it not saying its not a factor but its not anyones fault its my own broken selfs fault that i want to die  im on medication but it doesnt help much i currently dont have any professional support though since my psychologist retired this fall and the hospital still havent found a replacement and also to make things clear i dont want a bunch of attention and pity i just want some actual support from them instead ofnothing,3.0
36963,my cold bubble bath to ease my sunburn helped a tonbut now im wide awake ,2.0
36964,good morning ,0.0
36965,msamslater i know  i blew a tire out and was stuck foreverit sucked ballswe have to set a date and do the photos still,2.0
36966,speaking negatively about anything that bothers me always gives me real bad anxiety cos of the off chance im wrong and instead of everyone,2.0
36967,aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh blip is down  maintenance ,2.0
36968, yep thats better ,0.0
36969,i just got done ripstiking for two hoursi still suck ,2.0
36970,someone mind checking the temperature ,0.0
36971,death i dont want to live anymore i dont want to be alive no matter how hard i try i cant stand being alive everything is just so deprecating too heavy i dont feel loved i am too much i want everyone to forget me just let me go i just know i am not going to be missed at all ,3.0
36972,lotusblosm no unfortunately ,2.0
36973,weh aku tak gelak,0.0
36974,sorbitol in my cough syrup causes loose bowels ,2.0
36975,iamkmarie man i cant see it i dunno why prob because of my phone  lets try again,2.0
36976,just weighed myself  im never going to reach triple digits,2.0
36977,i think i might be depressed  recently i have noticed some changes in my self im always tired even when i get a good nights sleep i never can motivate myself to do anything other than sit around and its come to a point where im skipping most of my classes because i just dont want to go thats the best i can explain it my eating habits are terrible im talking most days  meal and its a good day if i have  there have been days where i just dont eat but that far more rare but the thing that really got me wondering is my mood often but not all the time i feel this emptiness i guess you could call it where im not necessarily sad or depressed but i feel like im just going through the motions on days where i feel like this i avoid everyone im not talkative or sociable even to my mom or my girlfriend the people im closest with and i just feel really frustrated when people do try to talk with me i have social anxiety and its something ive been dealing with my whole life and im used to the things that come with that and at first i just thought these symptoms where another offshoot of my anxiety but they slowly have been getting worse and more prominent in my day to day making me think its something more than just that im not here looking for a diagnosis i just want some other peoples take on my situation and maybe some advice on some steps i could take ,3.0
36978,about to warch the season finale of how i met your mother that weve been putting off for weeks ,2.0
36979,jvdklis yes you should she will look great in that  and i will make an painting of it ,0.0
36980,just got a twitter guys its more interesting than i credited it for ,0.0
36981,why am i not the same anymore when i was younger i used to love doing basic human stuff i used to love being around people talking playing now that im older i never leave my room i dont even have it in me to go to public places i havent been to a restaurant or a mall in at least a year i do not love doing what i used too amp i feel so empty,3.0
36982,kappymann thanks hope it is good teaching twittersocial media to my office conf call with the gals and a potential partner too ,0.0
36983,i wish i was smart again i used to be smart smart enough to make it into an electrical engineering degree program with a full ride scholarship while keeping a job and creative hobbies i especially loved mathematicsim in my third year and although i kicked ass in my manic phase last semester its dropped off and i cant seem to do anything my brain just wont work like it did before i cant remember anything my critical thinking skills and attention span are gone and my grades are at a record low im so tired i had to quit my jobi have absolutely no motivationi went from being a math minor with passion to picking up a low level math course for the credits because i couldnt handle an engineering course and now im failing the low level math course too completely uncharacteristic of what i used to bei just want my brain back,3.0
36984, good idea il try do it through mediaconvertororg from youtube their album is out  july i think amp il be in cypus ,2.0
36985, from hampm do u know it u r sooo luckyyy i wanna go to swim too  im hungry and its too hot,2.0
36986,have anyone had days where they woke up way too late because they couldnt sleep i woke up at one oclock once because i couldnt sleep until like  am has anyone else had moments like these,3.0
36987,kazzba not at home so cant listen  damn i like the  bros million sis song have you tapes it or how that works,2.0
36988,antboogieworld wish you were coming to australia amp new zealand with the sticky tour ant ,2.0
36989,sick yesterday getting a little better todaycaught some kind of bug or something from my  year old ,2.0
36990,hey again everyone  im back,0.0
36991,michellecpa i will ship you all the sparks books tomorrow ,0.0
36992,hfeldman even my inner cynic has a hard time denying that ,0.0
36993,happy mothers day to all the mommies ,0.0
36994,is soo tired  ,2.0
36995,kellydepp awwww iam soo happy for you i remember my prom it was soo cool haha it was ecaxtly  years ago  ,0.0
36996,francojaf thats true ,2.0
36997,nikkiluvsnkotb i know  where ya been  i missed ya  ,0.0
36998,just moved to our summer house its windy and chilly here still not summer here ,2.0
36999,depression is heavily affecting my cognitive abilities i feel like im slowly dying im in university right now and while the workload is getting increasingly difficult my ability to grasp and remember information is becoming close to nothing im always sluggish in the morning no matter how much hours i sleep i have slow reaction when people talk to me i cant think through a simple math problem even though its a central part of my major i eat very slowly despite trying not to i get nauseous when i try to eat faster i cant understand a thing in lectures i spend much longer on homework than i should and in the end i dont really remember anything i have failed almost all exams i took recently i cant communicate proper english even though its my primary language im starting to notice how much more often i stutter and cant pronounce words clearly i cant write nor read properly i take too long to do either of those i cant understand that people say on the spot i forget to follow daily tasks many times there is no structure of routine that i can firmly grasp onto i went to therapy consistently for about  months but now that im so busy and distracted i cant even make time to go see him anymore some of my friends and my parents often notice how slow i am at this point im really convinced im going through mental retardation and im really scared im in the middle of a really busy semester and i just dont know what to do any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated,3.0
37000,iced tea w bacardi good nightttt ,0.0
37001,rt  psa todays smile goal remind someone that it will be ok 🐇 for prints and commissions email me at  ,0.0
37002,   oh its over and no action ,2.0
37003,ddlovato your crazy  but i love that about you have funnn,0.0
37004,i cant believe its only  and im going bedi guess thats what i get for having to work at  tomorrow morning ,2.0
37005,steady wind and rain out there hrrr dont wanna go out today ,2.0
37006,its been nice having medicaid but it only lasts  weeks after baby  hope i dont get postpartum depression on top of clinical depression,1.0
37007,wish i could be at the beach ,2.0
37008,the smile live  the smiling buddha this sunday    httpbitlybxigd,0.0
37009,there is nothing i want to do in life im a  year old guy and i still dont know what to do in life my teachers and parents always tell me i have plenty of time but ive been thinking about it for  years now im just ranting please dont leave advice,3.0
37010,yorkshireteaian oh i remember bread cakes from mcleishs  did a year at what was endsleigh college on beverley high road  ,0.0
37011,canadasmichelle aw  well i guess you can always unfollow and block,2.0
37012,isselene oh god you have no ideahow much i fucking miss you ,2.0
37013,help hi guys im divorcing my wife weve been together for four years married for two and we had a newborn in january the reasons behind this are complicated but suffice to say that we are breaking it off now before it gets worse we had the child because i had a fertility scare and things were getting better at the time shes now living with her parents two hours away she intends to move and live there which i knew and accepted before all this came to pass i already have another son six from a previous relationship where i was raped by a woman i had known for less than a month i see him every weekendwe were about to put the house on the market for sale but then coronavirus shut everything down after coronavirus the economy will likely slump so im now stuck with this house for another year if not plural on thatone of the reasons im divorcing her is because we had manageable debt with £ easily spare afterwards then she decided she didnt want to work anymore and happily packed it all in and overruled me with her mum who now pays £ a month to cover our bills and debts she wont let me take out a debt management plan or didnt when we were together because it would hurt our financial rating her dad has no idea that her mum keeps giving us money a man i respect so much doesnt have the foggiest that im financially trapped and leeching off of them hes now been warned there could be job lossesanother contributing factor to the divorce is that i was under so much stress every day in a job as a designer where a fuck up could cost thousands if not millions if not lives if its built wrong where i was trying so hard not to fuck up because i couldnt risk missing pay rises or repayments through messing upso im stuck with a debt i cant shift a house i cant shift my finances will be tied to my wife for another year or so im facing job uncertainty because coronavirus and im in a three bed marital home on my own surrounded by ghosts of all our good memoriesgrowing up i was bullied to fuck i have aspergers and im proud of my accomplishments in the past  years to overcome so many boundaries i can socialise i can joke i dont get entirely pissed off by things out of order but that took years of work every day and week young adult any money i earned through work was sapped by my mum because we had to pay the council for our house  it went by household income so my money was nabbed  then rape forced pregnancy and fatherhood when  wasnt ready for and stayed in the abusive relationship because it was the right thing to do by child after that i had a mental break for a few months then i started sorting my life out and met my nowwife shes not a bad person shes just not right on so many levelsin addition ive got crazy stress of university work which has been killing me for four slow yearsmy cousin who was like twin brother only  months apart died  years horribly and i ache like fuck for him i miss him so godamn fucking much my only other good friend out of school turned out to be manipulating me since the day i met her for  years and was prosecuted for drug charges and child abandonment much to the surpise of all how can i not know that i used to pick her up from her flat and wed go driving for kfc or some shit at night i loved her so much i still dream of her i cant trust anybody anymoreive struggled and fought my entire life and now im getting cabin fever because im in selfisolation because of my asthma and its fucking me up and im sick of struggling i know i have it good i have a good job which i worked hard for i have a good house which i have a mortgage for and two beautiful kids yes i have a close and loving family my university stress end in may the debts mostly clear up in two years hopefully we can shift the house next year i can try again for the  time of getting life right but fuck man im battered im bruised im lonely i have no friends left alive or trusting suicide is on my mind every waking moment and i just want to lie back in paralysis and let the hunger or the virus take me life is hard and thats okay but i accept and welcome death ive just surrounded myself with photos of my son to keep me going but i dont know how long thatll boost me for,3.0
37014,boy is it hotttt outside ,0.0
37015,dneero when you still bounce when you jump on it ,0.0
37016,mgiraudofficial i love your song quothowquot from your preidol album so more of songs like that  oohhh cant wait to buy your album ,0.0
37017,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
37018,sprinkles i feel your pain indeed but dont give up well get there too ,0.0
37019,got a doctors appointment tomorrow but i dont want to enjoy life ive never posted here but ive struggled for so many years with my mental health and ive finally got a doctors appointment about my depression but i feel like its pointless honestly i no longer care about being depressed i no longer want to enjoy life life to me is not appealing at all that i dont even want to enjoy it being happy and living life to me sounds exhausting and honestly makes me feel extremely depressedi genuinely believe ive reached my capacity and ive done everything i feel i can do it makes me feel sick realising this because im only  but im just struggling so much with everything but im feeling extremely lost im not sure what the point is in going to the doctors about my depression and i dont know what to do ive been seriously thinking about ending it recentlyim not too sure what i want from this post but i think knowing if someone has been through something similar itd be very comforting i feel i need to get this off my chest even if nothing comes from this thank you,3.0
37020,off to a great start since my laptop decided to be a beotch and die on me this morning ,2.0
37021,went to my friends wedding yesterday and saw some old friends it was great and now im looking forwad to planning my wedding ,0.0
37022,sleeepy but too late for a nap ,2.0
37023,i kinda messed up so depression and anxiety have me  questioning everything even if my boyfriend  wants to be with me smart me asks him this question multiple times and now ive messed up because ive asked him so much its annoyed him and got him questioning if i want to be with him he doesnt know about my depression and stuff any suggestions on how to make this whole situation better now,3.0
37024,progress i remember the days when nothing could make me laugh i would occasionally laugh at really fucked up jokes but nothing else now i find my self laughing at more appropriate and normal things i think this might be a sign of things getting better,3.0
37025,kimkardashian  kim  how are you  sorry for the sun burn lol hope your feeling good follow me  please   big fan ,0.0
37026,friend just committed suicide found out another friend is no longer here fuck ya know people give us native americans and first nations shit when all we ask for is to live all my work at a national canada provincial and stuff is all about just trying to make sure another person doesnt die yet it keeps happening and i feel so useless kids as young as  do it it almost reactivates my depression but i see it so much im just numb its just regular business now and thats fucked up i hate myself i hate this situation i wish i could be better but im not trying so hard with nothing to show for it guess i just gotta keep trying in their memory despite me trying to commit suicide in my past maybe im here for a reason,3.0
37027,jury summons is scheduled for the fri  canada if i get picked im going to have to refund my ticket ,2.0
37028,ampiranelection i am a muslim turk living in st louis mo and i will pray for the victims ,2.0
37029,does anyone feel like depression is a part of their personality as in when im not depressed i genuinely dont feel like myself i do video art and music and its always very dark girls told me they are attracted to that depressed side of me and im actually reluctant to take my medication even though i am genuinely suicidal because i feel like i wouldnt be me im so used to being depressed that snapping out of it feels foreign i remember while being under the influence with some friends one of them straight up told me it was scary to see me happy to the point it felt very fake and almost vile just because of how people are not used to see me happy depression alongside anxiety is making life difficult for me its hard to function its hard to motivate myself my room is a mess my life is a mess but i am comfortable where i am and that kind of scares me i actually dont want to take my meds because im scared it will change me to someone im not,3.0
37030,i miss you isle of wight  i love wight ,2.0
37031,lorendarling thank you for making me smile and amusing me with your wise opinions ,0.0
37032,doing nothing is boring but doing something is so hard im so bored of just sitting in my room for the whole day watching youtube videos or lying in bed til its nighttime and i can go to sleep again but whenever i have something i need to do or when i was employed and working everyday it was so fucking difficult and i just wanted to die ,3.0
37033,sharonfranke caitie is adorable the pic of her little hands icing the cupcake is too cute looks like she and grandma had fun ,0.0
37034,kroc you sure kroc is still free ,0.0
37035,i pushed a button dont know what it did sorry if it killed you ,2.0
37036,its glorious outside why am i stuck indoors ,2.0
37037,is uploading new icon sets on multiplycom ,0.0
37038,oh my god i cant 😅🤣😂,0.0
37039,my computer is back in business ,0.0
37040,mym best friendf told me that she feels very depressed and she also started hurting herself i just found out and i am shook she showed me the wounds on her legs and told me that it felt incredibly good i wanna try to get her help but she would prolly just refuse any professional help she also thought about suicide because she felt like there was nothing to live for she said the only reason she hasnt killed herself yet was because she doesnt want some people to be sad for her i am totally lost ill try to just stay by her side and give her any support if she needs it any additional advicethanks in advance,3.0
37041,good morning tweeps  looking like rain again ,0.0
37042,foryoutonotice lol u should try the milk too i dont like milk that much but it makes miracles for my throat ,0.0
37043,jennettemccurdy aww thats sad i love michael cera he shouldnt be put in a bad movie ,2.0
37044,my experience dont know if this is needed but i am a  year old male ive been severely depressed for about a year and a half now it is currently my senior year last year i suffered from a horrible concussion which was given to me when a senior punted a football inside the super small locker room before pe at my school the ball hit me on the forehead i tripped on my pants i was in the midst of changing and i slammed the back of my head onto the wall behind me and then onto the concrete floor i was unconscious for awhile when i woke up nobody was in the room except for a teacher and my two friends i dont really remember much more of the day i later was diagnosed with a severe concussion and am still mildly affected by it i missed months of school and the person who punted the football student body president super popular never apologized it turns out he ran out of the room when it hit me and he went to play basketball i managed to get through junior year and i took the act i got into the school i wanted a few weeks ago when my brain began to heal i started to get severely depressed i  actually began to get depressed a month before my concussion in october of  i ended up breaking up with my girlfriend at homecoming that month because i felt i couldnt put my all into our relationship we are still good friends and shes been supporting me anyways my depression flared up in october of  leading me to being put in a php partial hospitalization program i was going to the program which taught cbt and dbt skills during the day and going home during the night   after two months of php things werent looking so great my care team switched my meds which in turn made me really suicidal and i began to self harm at this time they decided to send me back to school they said we send suicidal people back to school all the time i would self harm in school and have active thoughts eventually php wanted me to come back a few days later they decided to send me to the hospital the issue is that it was a friday night and no hospitals had beds we had to drive to a northern suburb dont want to give away my location and i was placed in the er for  and a half days they tried to send me to an inpatient hospital  hours away southward i was eventually admitted to the hospital i was staying at on monday i stayed in inpatient for a full week and my meds were changed again i began to have less suicidal thoughts and almost no self harm i was able to spend time with my family over the holidays i currently am back in school and it is finals starting this tuesday i just ended my time at php and am now doing an after school program at the same place i am doing half days at school with only my needed classes to graduate i currently am writing this instead of studying because i need to get it all off my chest i just want to graduate and go to college ive missed so many classes that i may not be able to graduate i truly am worried i also cant get the hospital out of my head i feel like i have ptsd from it i know this experience was mild compared to almost everyone elses i feel like i shouldnt even be complaining,3.0
37045,im finally going to get help i guess i just made an appointment an hour ago i never realized that i might be depressed i never felt sad or anythingim actually pretty positive which is why i never realized im not a negative person but i feel empty i dont care about anything i dont have the motivation to keep conversations with friends i dont have the motivation to hold conversations with my co workersi want to make something of my life so badly but o feel stuck and have no motivation i love my gf but i dont feel like spending time with her as much anymore it almost feels like a chore i want to do so much and better myself as a person but i just dont seem to care that muchanyone would be surprised to find out i may be depressed i laugh a lot i smile i joke around but at the end of the day i withdraw i have no opinions im just empty,3.0
37046,dits i dont need that fact to make me feel old although it certainly comfirms things ,0.0
37047,queria bailar anoche baileeeee ,0.0
37048,what the fuck do you want from me you say you want me to be real with you and that i can talk to you about anything but at the same time you keep saying quit being so negative and bringing the mood down,3.0
37049,papercraftsbyk lindawoods  think we can find a quotbrad pitttypequot guy along the way  thelma and louise style ,0.0
37050,yankeemeginphl shit i wish they love in manhattan  lol,2.0
37051,two finals today on my worst subjects  wish me luck,2.0
37052, hour naps sure do make me hungry ,0.0
37053,i dont want to kill myself but eliminating that little voice that says to do it all day everyday would be nice kill yourself lil voice let me live plz thx ,3.0
37054,evilgumbo he bought steve martins house cursed  ,0.0
37055,i broke up with the love of my life today i cant be in a relationship where my depression is tearing us down it was the single most painful thing ive been through i know its for the best in my episodes i get so aggressive but never physically and it was too much i havent stopped crying handling depression in a relationship just isnt something im equipped to do but losing my loved ones is really the final blow i miss him and its been a few hours how do i even start to work on myself when i just pushed out the one thing that kept me grounded ,3.0
37056,ajsweetheart cruise was amazing  would do again in heartbeat first day blog up working on day  and luv   own all seasons out,0.0
37057,sunshines back in ireland so thats a plus ,0.0
37058,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
37059,therealnihal work aaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllll summer ,2.0
37060,rt btmyoongi depression surprise bitch,2.0
37061,mhungate youre so close to never having to step foot in pf again if you dont want to i knew that thought would cheer you up  ,0.0
37062,oliverapp as well as a few gigs and radio shows make sure you check out wwwbrummusicmonthwordpresscom ,0.0
37063,my body hurt  i need a rub down like now,2.0
37064,simarp not rolling but revolving ,2.0
37065,im having heavy emotional issues i just got in trouble my dad and i had a  hour talk and i was crying my dads girlfriend is mad at me and took some of my property away and shes mad at me even tho i dont talk to her or know her because im not really social after all the talk im here in bed crying and depressed and so much stuff in my head i cant stop overthinking i dont know what to do please help me what should i say to them  help i feel like i just wanna run away and die im a waste of space in my house but i cant im so embarrassed ugh 😭😭😭😭😭😩😩🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭😭,3.0
37066,ctrouper do you count harriet harperson as a woman ,0.0
37067,yes  followers thanks gokey gang ,0.0
37068,starting to get that ionlywatchmynetflixshowswhiledoingcardioandivenotworkedoutinweeks anxiety as more new seasons drop,2.0
37069,looking for ideas for another photoshoot amateurs little budgets and big ideas ,0.0
37070,will not make it out today  what to do tonight whilst sitting at home s,2.0
37071,mattcoregfy i love you too ,0.0
37072,jnolan thank u ,0.0
37073,living with dysthymia gtthis is my first and probably only post heregtim also using a cellphone and dont care enough to fight my autocirrect or the small ass keyboard there will be spelling mistakes or fused wordsgti dont intend to replybto any comments eithershort storyit suckslongbstoryim unmedicated i cannfunction well enough where i dont need to pay fir expensive medications especially when i dontnhave medicare overage anymore im also lucky enough to be extremely aware of myself and my surroundings according to the therapist that diagnosed me with dysthymia meaning im just smart enough to know exactly whats wrong with me and how miserable i am without being a massive burden to those around me suffer in silence and so onknowing whats wrong with me doesnt mean i know how to fix itanywayin  days ill have been unemployed for a full yeari worked in front line customer service at an isp that provided rural internet via satellite wimax and lte the work was for lack of a better word abusive i was there for  months short of  years and at that point i was going through major call center burnout management did nothingnto help me cope or improve myself when this happenedthe manager i worked under had a bias against single men with no kids  but thats another storyi tried to kill myself after they fired me i wont get into the why of that statement i dont wantbto spend an hour writing it downmy only friend stopped me and told me somethingnthats forcing me to stay alive against my will im chained down and forced to exist for the sake of existing i dont want to elaborate onnthat for the same reason as the above paragraphfor the first  minths after being fired with nothing else to do and it being springsummer i started walking  every day or every other day with  hour intermettant fastings im  and at the time i was living alone the fasting was just a way to save money on food by the end of those  months i had lost  looked slightly better and had felt physically stronger gtno change in overall moodim glossing over a lot of inbetween stuff like family outings that i tried and failed to participate in having a room mate thats become a good friend and so onforbthe following  months until now with fall and w inter it was too cold to walk anymore so i occupied my tine with learning a musical instrument im apparently naturally talented at playing the drums  atleast thats what the person teaching me has said something about me being the  person in his  years of teaching to learn at an eplxponential rate its also the first thing ive found in life that i greatly enjoy doing and want to continue doing  any interest inhave in something typically dies within a few hours or days but this has so far lasted a few monthscurrently i can only practice for maybe  hours a weeki was given a used electric kit but i cant use it because i live in an apartment with thin walls and dont want to disturb the neighbours or until i can finish building some cheap sound proofing platforms and insulate my walls somethese are the only  real objectively positive things that has happened to me since i got fired and been living on a temporary government income  i lost some weight that i gained back anyway i found a thing i liked doingyet i feel nothing in particular about this it can be summed up as a huh thats a thing i havent had a relationship or physical contact with the opposite sex in  years frankly im scared to talk to wemon ive only had  girlfriends in my life each one ofnthem cheated on me and keeping up with current politics has only reinforced the fear of speaking to wemonsome men and i kid you not ive seen it on video have been accused of sexual harassment for saying hello or just trying to approach a woman to look to get to know them better imagine what would happen if some creepy fatass neckbeard tried to look for a girlfriend under those conditions im sick of being alone but i dont want to deal with that shit either ive forgotten why i decided to write this i dont see a point to all of these complaints anymore either but it seems like a waste to just delete everything,3.0
37074,how to cope with anxiety  ,2.0
37075,being thrown back into a depressive episode so i had a really bad depressive episode last year but ever since i met my last now exgirlfriend it had gotten a lot better she called me tonight and said that it was over because she wasnt ready for a relationship right now im just crushed about it ive been crying my eyes out and ive been trying to reach out to friends but none of them can talk i really hope i dont get thrown back into depression but i cant help but feel its inevitable i just kinda needed to vent all this so if you read this  thank you ,3.0
37076,ruined an amazing relationship so down on myself she was an amazing beautiful girl that i loved more than anything  my jealousy and anger fucked it all up  i have bipolar and depression which i never told her because i didnt want to scare her off  the worst of this is i have an anger issue i can often blow up on the ones i love  and after i would blow up id feel so awful and id apologize so much  she eventually just didnt want to deal with it anymorei used to get so mad she would talk to other guys  i was such a jealous asshole  i cant get her out of my head  besides that stuff we had such an amazing relationship i would do anything for her  shes never coming back and its the worst feeling in the world  its not easy to put yourself out there and look for new girls  it wasnt easy to find a beautiful girl with an amazing personality like that who also was interested in meseriously why did i have to fuck it up  why do i have to have this horrible anger problem and bipolar  now i am all alone i miss those nights we would cuddle and she was mine  i feel like someone ripped out my heart stomped on it then punched me in the face  i dont know if i can ever get over this  even when i have a new girl this girl will always be on my mind  this is so depressing its hard to even work i have been messing up at work because i am so down on myselfhave even thought of killing myself i feel like i am just gonna fuck up everything good that comes my way i seem to be good at that,3.0
37077,happy friday everyone  have a great weekendbank holiday and airshow woo hoo ,0.0
37078,have to go move my car for street  cleaning i hate that ,2.0
37079,i want boots  ,2.0
37080,benlately i missed smallville too my computer died before i even got to mena ,2.0
37081,i wish i had booked an earlier flight home people are leaving and im left alone a little sick and blue too   days to go,2.0
37082,talesin omgcant believe u went there  your a nutteri dig that ,0.0
37083,cuddlebum  my doggy passed away,2.0
37084,is at work and dont wanna be ,2.0
37085,‼️🚨restock🚨‼️ ocpharms presents jackherer its earthy pine flavors can remedy depression amp stress 😘sativa ,1.0
37086,i am so happy today ,0.0
37087,dark in the glow haha shed kill me if she had twitter and saw this xd off  workbehave twitterb back in the afternoon ,0.0
37088,working till  at night  nothing like a nice  hour shift on a saturday,2.0
37089,i said   ,2.0
37090,rt mcall first hemp seeds sown legally in lehigh valley since depression,1.0
37091,i changed my twitter name as discussed at sats cookout its a homage  markdc dcbigpappa districtofaris dcdebbie dcryan taken ,2.0
37092,my stomachache doesnt want to go away ,2.0
37093,xneedlesnpins aww ,2.0
37094,i have like  welts on my head bruises and my hairs falling out i just want sushi a bed and some good movies this sucks ,2.0
37095,drewseeley i was looking for you to say quotholaquot ,2.0
37096,rt spudsays not shocked by ignorant uninformed and uneducated comments about people with mental health issueswehavealongwaytogo,2.0
37097,ohhhbabyyy lmao my friend was like call them and i was like but i dont sound like my self cause im sick ,2.0
37098,sad novainfinite shows up on blip sole control amp spell it but they wont play ,2.0
37099,mynameisirl whatimthinking  only if ya wanna be old but sometimes its hard to convince the body to play along with the minds game ,0.0
37100,iluvhuskyboy well colbys my sex buddy jkjkjkjkjkjkjk i swear im still half a virgin ,0.0
37101,this game is awesome  ,0.0
37102,got on the wrong bus fml its good i got to campus early today  time to walk across campus ,2.0
37103,five reasons i want to fucking kill myself in    i just feel so fucking lonely all the time i know that there are people that care about me but i just find it hard too talk about things with people just because i am a dude it feels like i can never talk about some things on the other hand i just cant find someone who is willing too converse in deep topics and go into detail it seems too me people are too used too text based conversations and forgot how to actually communicate like humans   i am stuck in a stupid study loop i always get so stressed out in the coming weeks before an exam that i come so close too killing myself its not even funny even by my standards i cant fail and i cant guarantee that ill pass so why study and why continue this useless existence everything is about grades and studies and nothing tests your morals or kindness   i might never find someone wholl love me in my life i just dont deal with rejection very well and there are not a lot of girls who would not even bat an eye on me as someone more than just an everyday person i dont use social media and i dont really have much charisma i just want someone who cares and could maybe help me in some ways but sometimes it seems as a man you have to be at least a  if you want to have a chance   i dont know what to do as an adult im  and recently i have just wanted to fight in wars so that my life can be cut short and that i died for a reason other than suicide   i dont like people despite living in a first world country the people here still litter be racist and smoke in the school toilets no matter how easily accessible education here is in my country it just seems to me humans are just apes  my family is dysfunctional and i dont have many friends i am kind and friendly with people but my murderous side comes out every now and then and i dont like it either i have been trying too change for the last few years too no avail i might be doing the world a favour if i took care of myself quick  it just seems so easy too quit this stupid game just one jump and your suffering is over i also have the desire too just go into the woods and kill or be killed bet ill be killed pretty quick,3.0
37104,tweetlord is a twitter role playing game check us out at httpwwwtweetlordcom we have adorable avatars and funky items  tlgame,0.0
37105,i finally made an appointment with a therapist im very new to this sub for the past few months ive been struggling with depression i was planning my wedding which is now over thank god and the stress was causing me to totally shut off and tune the world out i stopped going to the gym i stopped focusing on school i could barely get anything doneive been stuck in this limbo of should i or shouldnt i every time i thought to myself that i am probably depressed and need to seek help i am tired of waking up in the morning plopping myself on the couch and spending hours on my phone and not getting a single thing done im over this shit and i want to get back to where i was a year ago when i was healthy active and generally happy with my life so this morning i checked out my coverage for my health insurance mental health services covered at  ill admit i felt pretty stupid for not taking advantage of this sooner i called and scheduled my first ever therapy appointment i feel better like ive taken a step in the right direction i have no idea why ive put this off for so long but im happy that ive finally accepted that i need help and cantshouldnt have to deal with this on my own,3.0
37106,is out of hospital following shoulder surgery but in a lot of pain ,2.0
37107,airwanderor im sry i missed out on ihops my nose kept bleeding profusely no fun ,2.0
37108,rt enchiladad so apparently my theme this summer is gonna be depression,1.0
37109,mpfingsten i dont know  ,2.0
37110,breonna im distraught over you lack the morning light in your life if i could go out for it i would ,2.0
37111,screaming her head off because the virus is gone and her computers fixed ,0.0
37112,so hungry  trying to finish up this thing and then going back to sleep,2.0
37113,🤔,2.0
37114,i never get this much anxiety until im home ,2.0
37115,last assignment done i so fail at things seemingly irrevocably at uni  i dont know what to do holidays now though ,2.0
37116,weird movie but cute song   ,0.0
37117,indieeire no lesbian tendencies thats got to be a tick in the negative column ,0.0
37118,twitter wont work right for me ,2.0
37119,pinwheelgirl  that sounds awesome i would love more information can you email if you need any pr here i am hugs ,0.0
37120,redmummy delighted to be a surrogate mum  luckily we humans are built with hearts big enough to encompass all  hugs,0.0
37121,feel overwhelmed just sitting in bed sitting in bed right now feelimg stressed currently unemployed and trying to live im bored as hell and feel like im not doing anything right anyone have any suggestions,3.0
37122,i tried to od now all i think about is getting high so im  and tried to kill myself the other day it made me realise that in fact i dont want to actually die after taking all the pills i realised i didnt want to actually die  i thought i did but i dont want to die i just want this feeling to go away and by taking all those pills it momentarily did it feels like my entire life my brains always had this thick fog making everyday so fucking challenging but after taking all those pills that fog cleared i mean i was fucking scared after taking them because i really didnt want to die but after throwing half of them up and just feeing the effects of the pills it feels like that all ive been searching for my entire life i dont want to die i just want to stop feeling like this ever since ive just been searching all through the house for all sorts of pills that could give me that type of feeling that feeling where im finally relaxed and free from my brain and how the fuck do people actually get dealers im too fucking socially awkward for that i just want something to make me feel at ease with everything and if that means becoming an addict i couldnt fucking care people tell you drugs will kill you with all that dont do drugs kids bs but the thing is the only thing killing me is my mind,3.0
37123,boykillboy hahaha i knoooow haha  but at the same time im doing homework s hah,0.0
37124,loved living my dream of seeing keane and am now going to sing in a concert with the womens chorale its a weekend of concerts ,0.0
37125,traceydelara lol shoot i had events all wknd amp just got back amp now im exhausted but off to work i go  how was your wknd girl,2.0
37126,sons got a nasty puffy eye when he woke up looks like another allergy symptom ,2.0
37127,monaminx thats what sundays are for  aw our mans tweets earlier so so sweet and honest,0.0
37128,dang lots of ppl on hatin on tc in the chat ,2.0
37129,afraid to start career  im in graduate school i graduate in may and im panicking about finding my first fulltime job as an undergraduate i studied biology and was going to go to med school my family and friends had high hopes for me because i was always a good student they thought id be a successful doctor but i developed this terrible social anxiety disorder it got so bad that for a time i was afraid to go to class i decided not to go to medical school even though i had the grades to go i thought id have a breakdown or become very depressed because the medical profession is known for causing a degradation in mental health i decided to get my masters in accounting so i could quickly get a job when i switched from the medical path my family turned on me they started telling me i was too old to be in school and pressuring me because ive never worked fulltime in my lifei thought that accountants didnt need to speak to people very often i was wrong the interview process for accounting is all about your personality being a good fit for the office unfortunately interviews nearly bring me to fullblown panic attacks i practice interview questions but it hasnt helped ive gotten some interviews with top public firms due to my grades but ive blown all of them because of my anxiety i dont have a job lined up yet my family now tells me ill never work and theyre afraid for my future like theres something defective about me they get angry with me for not getting hired the need for a job and my past failures to reach any potential i may have had have caused me to dread my futurei fear working just the thought of being stuck in a place with people i dont know and having to complete tasks that i dont understand of having deadlines and expectations of having to continually talk to people eat with people keep up appearances causes me to panic i know its a normal part of life but im mentally weak i dont believe in myself ive failed repeatedly to beat this disorder and get out on my own i tried therapy and i seemed to get better but it was a false hope i do alright after getting used to a routine but when something changes the anxiety comes back for example i had a class last semester where every class the professor randomly called on people to answer questions something so simple as answering homework problems caused my fear of going to class to return after a few years its been a decade of being stuck in my body knowing the fear is irrational yet failing to cope a decade of panic attacks derealizationdepersonalization few close friendships working hard in school for seemingly no reason if i cant get a job im  my parents tell me they were married with a house and kids at my age i have student loan debt no job aside from a parttime substitute teaching position where i only sub a couple times per month i thought i might be able to become a cpa and still have a good career even if accounting isnt my true passion but ive failed to get a public accounting job i supposedly had so much potential and ive accomplished nothing,3.0
37130,nickcarter   okaaay  thats crazy  luv it  ermblue  omg ,0.0
37131,i love you eclispe but sorry netbeans offers better functions ,2.0
37132,research and writing done for the night i  analytics  ,0.0
37133,iamprophit i really want to watch true bloodmy hotel doesnt have hbo ,2.0
37134,might start using the ladies ,2.0
37135,i thought fathers day had already been  i made richard hammond sign his book for my dad ,0.0
37136,pattyhankins have a great show patty ,0.0
37137,waking up in milan ,0.0
37138,anyone wanna have  wanna add just got mine today so ya,3.0
37139,enamoredsoul sorry for calling u a guy babes  handing u a rose,0.0
37140,remind me to never dream about moving to america it isnt good ,2.0
37141,the zen works im hyped and just finished a pretty bad ass pic mixed with color pen and stickers ,0.0
37142,mfhorne ahh alive is possibly the best album ever was crackin that  out yesterday as it goes i cant get the link for the no masks tho ,2.0
37143,school makes it even worse the last  weeks my depression was a little less i still felt worthless tired and i hated myself but i didnt feel as worthless as i normally would because there werent a lot of poeple around me because it was vacation and i didnt really do anything other than sit behind my computer so today was the first day of school after  weeks and anxiety hit me again and i felt so worthless with all the happy poeple around me having a great time at school it made me so depressive and sad because i also wanted to be happy and have a great time at school and just enjoy my life like everyone else but i guess that life is not for me and my selfhatred hit me so hard especially at school i hate myself so much for who i am it was so horrible and painfull that after the last lesson i wanted to jump off the second floor and hope i wouldnt survive it because everything feels so pointless and hopeless but there were to many poeple and i didnt have the guts to do it i dont know what to do i guess just cry myself to sleep wake up and live the same worthless and pointless life again for another day,3.0
37144,fuck life and emotions isnt crying made for letting your emotions out then why the fuck is it so hard to do it when you need to and why tf do u do it automatically when you dont want to just fucking drill my brain like im a fucking hard drive that needs to be wipedi havent vented like this before i wonder if i get something good out of it fml,3.0
37145,just had a half hour almost power walk in the sun home to swig water and go out for proper errandslistened to  scenes comedy of erros ,0.0
37146,rt neurosciencenew the heritability of anxietyindividual differences in the connectivity between regions of the,0.0
37147, twit to u soon  ,2.0
37148,im watching parks and recs and its the episode where ben is like depression creating and jobless and yeah ,1.0
37149, hours into the new year and nothings changed if anything its got worse,3.0
37150,rt muthuimkenya it is a sad day in kenya  whistleblowers hit hard after cnyakundih twitter account is suspended on unclear grounds,2.0
37151,going to town tomorrow for dress stuff eeek  then football  xo,0.0
37152,i dont wanna job hunt anymoreee ,2.0
37153,currently think im lost or the driver at least its too hot ,2.0
37154,oh wait they r still playing     hope my goat doesnt come up missing,2.0
37155, still in shock over the death of my laptop ,2.0
37156,literally cant do anything i have no motivation for school for games for anything i just lay in my bed and waste away my life on reddit and youtube i hate myself so much and every week i say ill turn my life around but spoiler alert it nevrr fucking happens if i wasmt such a pussy id end myself but i cant do it i cant do anything right i just stand at the train station and watch the train go by and hate myself more because of it im not looking for replies just really needed to rant somewhere anonymously thanks bye,3.0
37157,aussietorres cyrils always sounds good ,0.0
37158,davidhiggerson well it is the second biggest city ,0.0
37159,just bought me two bonsia trees a baby and a big one  pictures are coming,0.0
37160,feeling pointless and abit down so i wrote poetry if thats what you call it just wanted to write down how im feeling also is it any good like does it make sense its my first time writing something like this so please be mindful of the comments xx i feel like im nothing nothing to everyone just a waste of space i dont even feel like im something to myself who am i why am i here whats my purposeim here to live my life to the fullest i dont know what full feels like live to your fullest and make your mark on the world well the world has made one too many marks on me ones that will stay forever i dont trust the world it has been cruel to me but to be apart of the world i must accept all the things i hate and all that the world is selfish dishonest and blind should i no i cant and i never will but maybe knowing what i hate shows me what i love love truth hope something that is rare these days but in order to keep going i must look for that one word in everyday hope hope things will get better ,3.0
37161,days like this i miss stopping at night times news for an ice cream after a walk on the seawalk only home town peeps will  understand ,0.0
37162,owwwwwwww   broken toe lol    itz huge  my whole foot thorbz      i gota go  sandymouth in a mo nd itz gunna rain aparently  ,2.0
37163, hugs im sowwy  i try to pop in every chance i get ill talk to you next time i hope xoxo bye for now all,2.0
37164,this song suppresses my depression ,2.0
37165,only  days to go  i am actually gonna miss school l  quotmoving on is simple its what we leave behind thats hardquot ,2.0
37166,just took a break from gcse revision with faith to have some lunch  watched the start of the grand prix ,0.0
37167,sss everytime i come on or look at ur status i  out of  times its about sex  hmm myb i shud take u amsterdam ,0.0
37168,waiting to see a message on here from maryellen ,2.0
37169,edsaint i love that mockup design so much it was on a macrumors article which said therell be no design change ,2.0
37170,isolation its driving me insane with boredom i cant actually believe im expected to do this for weeks months however long it takes,3.0
37171,its raining heavily in calcutta got trapped ,2.0
37172,it is officially mothers day happy mothers day to all ,0.0
37173,gordan is  not very sad with tom because he is an elephant but thats not true,2.0
37174,alexalltimelow d philly  or pottstown ,0.0
37175,hamperium thanks glad you think im funny nice to be thought of as funny ,0.0
37176,now i am down i just i dont know what to feel i just failed to myself i burned up the bridge to my father that i dont like i said to jim heavy things on his soul on purpose i lost patience to my mother who i appreciate i walked out of my friends car sunday and now what i texted a girl but i didnt  enjoy any of that now i just in my room empty i cant get a feeling out of anythig i might burn my legs a little so adrenaline rushes to my mind help i dont know,3.0
37177,boardopboy i have the whole last season on dvdwatchn an episodei miss this show ,2.0
37178,natblingluvsfly that should be easy  im bout to go  bed and watch some shit on netflix you have a good night and good luck on ur final,0.0
37179,rt chilltyler i was told you have depression just because im not sad about my life when they think i should be,1.0
37180,should be going to the gym but my stomach is killing me ,2.0
37181,hometime no work for two weeks im going to play xboxscrew the nap im excited  xx,0.0
37182,ohhayryan she is so great that pretty much made my year haha ,0.0
37183,xochinita cuzzo is rolling home ,0.0
37184,going to die in my guitar lesson  however cant wait for tomorrow at  ,0.0
37185,yesterday was so much of fun at the beach missed rayraykayenne though ,2.0
37186,rajean stretch marks ftl wheres the photographic evidence ,0.0
37187,lady came to see us re her dog and last night drama with bailey vet saw at surgery today dog put to sleep renal failure ,2.0
37188,mom died im struggling with my role in it on february second my mom died very unexpectedly at the age of  she was over at my sisters having some trouble breathing they tried to convince her to go to the urgent care but she didnt want to dip into savingsask for help her husband found her cold the next morning she had had an asthma attacki work as an actuary that helps our developers model riskcost and im really really struggling with my role in her death i know i wasnt directly responsible really i do im not responsible for her death but its really really hard to not look at my stock options and see them as blood money now i dont know how to square my paycheck with what she went through my job directly makes money because we are overcharging for the cost to insure peoplei dont even know what im looking for by typing this out really im just trying to get it all written down so that then i can reevaluate where im at my frustrations with our healthcare system in america my frustrations with being a party to our discussions with our insurance boards and lobbying groups its just really starting to all fall down on me how many more people like her have i helped us killwith the election looking like its going to be biden vs trump thats at least another  if not realistically  more years we wont see single payer healthcare in the us how many more people die while we continue to fuck around with this because why the identity and justifications ive built around my job and lifestyle are just crumbling around me right now and i dont know how to take meaningful action to fix the problems ive helped cause my whole life ive always been someone who fixes problems you address things head on and you work to find a solution this is something so much bigger than me that even breaking it down into tiny pieces i dont see how i can even begin to take steps to fix it i quit and then what nothing changes within the system nothing can bring her or anyone else who died like this back i want to prevent anyone else from ever having to deal with this but it feels like so many people dont see single payer as obtainablei dont know how to begin to let go and focus back on the rest of my life my wife and family who need me my coworkers who depend on me my friends and hobbys i normally enjoy how do i take the first step towards getting back to where i was only a month ago,3.0
37189,my friend group has starting hanging out with one of my exs and her friends i am afraid they want to replace me as they know i dont get on with her and wouldnt want to hang out with her ,3.0
37190,i just saw tori i was on the bus and couldnt say hi  miss my candy cane throwing partner in crime,2.0
37191,rt wmnjoya this brandkenya thing is just so sad it reduced the constitution to a marketing document and made citizens rank third after,1.0
37192,jennifilman good morning to you too ,0.0
37193,silentdefeat yep   i miss u,0.0
37194,im not ready for my baby to be  tomorrow  she is growing so fast,2.0
37195,so much to do oo wow my last gr  friday just finished ,2.0
37196,should i be concerned about my friend she told me that she wasnt suicidal but i feel like she is im  my friend is  were really close and weve shared so much with each other were best friends and each others best support from everything in our livesshe has depression we had a long and open conversation about it and she told me she wasnt suicidal she started therapy but im worried that shes being dishonest about her progressshe goes on drives alone late at night going on the highways even though she wasnt comfortable with busy streets she doesnt really go out with friends a lot she sleeps a lot she is very fixated on trying weed even though she hasnt even tried alcohol at partieson the other hand she completely contradicts warning signs of suicide her marks are still up and she hasnt missed a practice or game she volunteers and participates with service shes a part of the churchbesides being there for her i dont know what else to do,3.0
37197,rt barbhaynes the nword was scrawled on lebron james house and a noose was left in the museum of african american history must be econ,1.0
37198,omg   i love the piano version of fire ,0.0
37199,not depressed but wouldnt mind dying ive been on prozac for almost  months now it helps i dont feel as shitty as i did before but in light of the wuhan virus and everyone panicking over how fast its spreading i kinda welcome it i even hope to actually get infected and wouldnt mind dying from it either because this way it wouldnt be anyones fault i dont have any intentions to go out there and kill myself but getting the virus and dying from it makes me feel indifference as well ohwell,3.0
37200,rowanmcbride emeraldjaguar didnt buy me drinks just bit me mean skeeter ,2.0
37201,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
37202,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,2.0
37203,heading out and about  months ahead and im already bored ,0.0
37204,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
37205,here i am too fucking tiredas usualnothing left to give but ill keep diggingno more words but ill keep blabbingtoo fucking tiredjust want to left alone its a burden to existjust know that you are a disappointment you wont be enough and no matter what you wont be happy with yourselfnothing you give will repay for the shittiness that is younothing you say will make it okay to yourself or anyone elseyou have no control over the course of this shiplife takes you where it wantsstupid brainjust turn the fuck offjust plaster on a smile and autopilot throughjust fucking be normalidiotim just tired,3.0
37206,worried about my depressed mother when my mother and i went to my brothers birthday party we were talking a bit my mother has always been depressed throughout my life and she was a bit worse than usual so i told her that depression cant kill you unless you do it yourself to cheer her up she just replied with an exactly and said something that very heavily suggested that she was thinking about doing stuff like that without explicitly saying it she already goes to a psychiatrist quite often but i am worried that if i do nothing i would regret it for my entire life if she does do something to herself can someone please help me with outlining various courses of action i could take i have no idea what i could do except giving her a long big hug and telling her everything is okay and i doubt that would actually help long term ,3.0
37207,i dont want to live in a world where i never fit in most days i want to kill myself but i know my family likes me and would feel bad even if i dont fit in well with them either i used to have severe social anxiety which has become moderate now sometimes im able to have decent conversations at school but i never have enough in common with people to make close friends i wasted high school being too anxious to talk to people even when they showed interest so now i barely have any childhood friends no new friends from college and i make empty conversation with guys through tinder of all fucking places which is obviously a bad place to make friends everyone i know talks to the same  people theyve known since middle school i dont have anyone im so alone and its the only thing i think about throughout the day i dont even like my hobbies anymore since i dont have anyone to talk to about them being sad is pretty much my life now,3.0
37208,rt omgstephlol currently coming off of my ssri while traveling and wont see my therapist for  weeks so v grateful for hardcore self he,0.0
37209,fuckin shit man i cant find my lyric book ,2.0
37210,debbiefletcher how do you like the twilight books i cant wait for the second film but its loads later out in germany ,2.0
37211,im just sad right now so ill be back in a few days maybe when im happier im wanting this page to be positive ,0.0
37212,going to my work i love my life ,2.0
37213,potential catastrophic morning turned into a wonderfully sweet rainy morning ,0.0
37214,debbiefletcher morningm mum debbie  have a nice daygo to sleep to wake up in about  hours  byelovelovexx,2.0
37215,rothbart thats atampts fault not apples  but yeah its true ,2.0
37216,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
37217,justthasima i envy usold out here ,2.0
37218,hate missing trivia night tonight ,2.0
37219,i have got the major holiday blues ,2.0
37220,gurd morning in   feel ill why am i always sick,2.0
37221,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
37222,i can feel twitter starting to pick up steam now hold on folks tonight could get interesting ,0.0
37223,ohshiiinikki thanks boo im officially staying at ferguson ,0.0
37224, haha  yea i have two cats one dog one mouse and a snake that had like twenty babies im a freak,0.0
37225,jhpapers httpcraftopoliscom and then fill in your profile name ,0.0
37226,rt lyndamfiller high anxiety exotic places mystery suspense iartg rrbc novellas kindle   httpstcoguxvj,2.0
37227,houston show went awesome thanks to everyone that came out and rocked out with us we love you peeeps ,0.0
37228,btw i miss my baby ,2.0
37229,im nearly finished im going for a shower when im done then go on the laptop and see if ollie is coming over tonight ,0.0
37230,woot my parkway drive ticket arrived ,0.0
37231,can anyone help im trying to change my backgroung image and it wont work ,2.0
37232,losing weight with depression social anxiety and insuline resistance first off im still new so i hope this belongs here and im not doing anything wrong and i hope this isnt too longim at my highest weight right now even though im more active as i used to be all my life ive been on very unhealthy diets because of my abusers which ended with me not only constantly gaining weight but a lot of complications with hormones and general health since i didnt get enough everything during my child years and puberty i did a lot of sports as a pre teen but once puberty hit so did the realization of what my life is like and still is and i became extremely depressed though i forced myself to continue some sportsi managed to escape my abusers and lived on my own since  although on top of my social anxiety and bpd im still struggeling a lot with depression due to suicide attempts i was forced to quit school and now im stuck not being able to do anything because my social welfare deems me too ill to work or study leaving me with no social life which further worsens my depression i have therapeutic guardians sorry im not sure how else to translate it but basically they help me with stuff i cant handle on my own and specialize in neurodivergend adults and a therapist i see weekly i got a dog that i go outside with a lot since ive always enjoyed going for walks but just felt beyond uncomfortable going outside for no important reason my dog certainly helped me with that and gave me some confidencemy problem is that im at a bmi of  and it keeps getting worse im on medication for my insuline resistance and my underactive thyroid my relationship with food is complicated i usually dont have the motivation or the energy to cook so i end up living off of snacks mostly a sandwhich here some crackers there i counted my calories out of curiosity and i never got above  a day im absolutely horriffied of just the idea of joining a sports club again even though i would love to i adore dancing and martial arts which i used to do but the thought of standing infront a huge mirror wall next to a bunch of skinny people while i have to stare at my ugly fat self makes me wanna throw up from fear alone i tried it mutliple times but in the end i just couldnt do it unless it was a private class but i really do not have the money to pay for private classes i do some light exercises at home but i doubt its doing anything at allanyways does anyone know what i could possibly do in my situation im really done and just dont know where else to turn the only diet that would actually bring results with my insuline resistance would be a no carbs diet but i just dont have the budget or the energy to mentain that since i can only manage to eat small snacks every few hoursi was looking into medical possibilities but an operation would only be possible if i pay the full price myself around  € which i can not afford even though i save up a lot every month since my health insurance wouldnt allow anything with my history of mental illness,3.0
37233,im jealous of nadia goin to meet sexy welsh boys she might be getting me an autograph though cos shes bufftingz  ilher,0.0
37234,am still stuck at my desk boohoo ,2.0
37235, but then again ,2.0
37236,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
37237,how does someone whos terrified of people go about finding a therapist to talk to i cant stand being around people i cant even post personal things anonymously for fear of being lashed out at but i need to start improving myself so i can get myself out of this hole i have been digging myself over the past few years im mostly afraid that im going to pick a therapist i wont click with and never talk to one again and this cycle will start all over again,3.0
37238,i dont even know why i dont know why im writing this i think im just very alone i have friends but i dont think they understand me i love them but i feel alone i cant talk to them because i dont want them to judge me i self harmed for the first time today took a knife and broke the skin on my left arm the blood felt good it felt comforting to see the red i want to be better i want to feel better but even now i just want to die i dont like my life i dont like me i dont to live any more i dont even know if im depressed i just want to die i dont want to disappoint anyone anymore i wish i could die now but i know people would be upset if i knew everyone wouldnt care then i would die if there was a button that told me i could die and nobody would care then i would press it i feel broken i feel empty but then i just feel dramatic like im not actually feeling this way im just overreacting i wish i had never been born i wouldnt wish this on anyone i dont know why i am writing this im drunk im sad im tired of being alive id never kill myself but i wish i was dead i dont know what to do,3.0
37239,not doing too well rn so idk if this is the place to post this or not but eh a bit of background on me history of depression anxiety suicidal tendencies self harm and probably a bunch of other stuff i cant remember rn my depression has been trying to come back and kick my ass lately i spent the whole weekend with friends and all that did was make me realize how ugly and weird i am most of my friends are pop music and socialites who dress super cute and im metal music whos introverted and i wear all black with combat boots im not very smart im gonna fail my english college class and im not really talented at anything either im kinda just here and feeling this way makes me feel so weak and pathetic like i should be over all of this by now i should have this shit beat ,3.0
37240,mower shopping ,2.0
37241,last day of vacation ,2.0
37242,popatemyheartx just keep saying its the only thing you want worked for me last year ,0.0
37243,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
37244,lilylauren haha the shows pretty rigged in my opinion  the guy that did the raw chicken and the girl that did the raw lamb are still in,0.0
37245,to the people i was txting sorry phone is dead and i cant resurrect it  hopefully verizon will replace it and ill it back by tonight,2.0
37246,celexa to cymbalta longtime lurker first time poster i was diagnosed with depression in  in  anxiety disorder came into the mix and since then ive been on  mg of celexa a few months ago my depression reared its ugly head and i started spiraling three weeks ago my doctor upped my celexa from  mg to  mg  it did nothing in fact things seemed worse i saw her today and she thinks im burnt out on celexa and has put me on cymbalta i was on celexa for so long and things were good for so long now things are as bad as theyve ever been i just want to feel like me again  so anything i should look out for with cymbalta im nervous excited and terrified to try a new med,3.0
37247,lutkendx congratulations proud papa ,0.0
37248,back to school tomorrow ,2.0
37249,emeraldcitystar grandparents house  so bex amp i can finally have a raft while camping,0.0
37250, hey thank you for that i really appreciate you and your whole family  thanks for sharing the journey with me ,0.0
37251,rt  i hate those nights when youre sad for no reason lol,1.0
37252,ha it cant decide  one minute it has a girlfriend than it has a husband  whatever it is its a player ,0.0
37253, awww man    thats the absolute worst  sounds like youre having a wonderful day  ,2.0
37254,trying to get motivated to work ,2.0
37255,rt omgkesharose kesha said in a statement i hope this film inspires others to never give up even if you feel full of hurt or lost beca,1.0
37256,yelyahwilliams add me   have a nice day,2.0
37257,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
37258,so stressed ,2.0
37259,aidan davis should have bgt mahn not diversity even thoe some of them are quite hot   but omg flawless are soo sexyyy ,0.0
37260,where the hell is james at hes supposed to help me open ugh if he doesnt show up when i did on tuesday for my day off ima be pissed ,2.0
37261,time for bed with my sexy lady ,0.0
37262,abusive relationship ruined me  year old male i dated a girl for  and a half years who lived with me for a long time there were red flags the first  years but the last  were horrible typical abusive behavior but she would call me a piece of shit retard i hate you you make me want to kill myself hit me sexually assaulted me a few dozen times grabbed my genitals repeatedly after i told her stop many times and lied like a dead fish bad mouthed me to everyone isolated meseparated for a few months now and now im fucked up ive been seeing a girl and it hurts me a lot i just think of how much of a piece of shit i am and im afraid of this girl just afraid of everything havent told anyone this and i dont tell this girl things like this but im completely done as a human being im tired,3.0
37263,realy mad the stupid lady cut my bangs too short  gggrrr ,2.0
37264,rt andrewyangvfa americans are both getting married and having children at alltime lows in part due to economic stress the rate of ame,2.0
37265,its a beeautiful first day of june my bday is on the      im at work util  amp then off to the gym wpaceyourself,0.0
37266,good night twitts catch up with yall tomorrow ,0.0
37267,wow before the strom is really make me sad right now it makes me think about a guy that i dated for  and  years ,2.0
37268,i dont deserve to have people in my life no matter what i do no matter how benign my intentions are i always inevitably end up hurting the people who care about me whats the point of living if im just spreading my own misery to the people who are trying to help me im beginning to lose all hope,3.0
37269,i lost the war with myself today i  has been contemplating suicide for years now ive not exactly had the worst life nor the best i have a somewhat loving family a good job good friends everything that should make a person happy but im noti wouldnt say i am particularly sad i am just nothing i almost have no feeling at all i literally feel like an empty vessel that does what it has to do anyway going a little off topic there as ive finally decided i am to end my own life i have ran out of reasons to carry on living i have written notes to the people closest to me and im actually ready i havent been this sure of anything in a long time its an odd feeling tbh i feel comfort from knowing this is going to be the end very soon i know its contradictory but i almost feel happy its such a strange feelingi did have therapy anti depressants you name it ive tried it nothing worked as i just think its as simple as i dont want to be here anymoreim sorry for posting something like this but i wanted to share my thoughts with someone that isnt to close too me feels like closure really for anyone reading this before ending your life try everything i did it works for many people out there just this time it didnt,3.0
37270,struggling pretty hard after an accident           i dont normally reach out about things like this but lately things have been getting pretty hard early in december i was involved in an accident that left me stuggling to walk after shattering my femur and tearing muscles since the surgery and hospital stay i havent been able to drive work the hours i used to or go out and enjoy time with my friends lately ive been having a harder time sleeping and just generally enjoying things like being online with friends           its been getting harder to cope when i try to do the old things that i used to before the accident like hunting wood working target shooting or even driving i guess the reason im posting to vent and just to ask where i should begin its just feels impossible to talk to people about this before december i was the kinda person people came to with there issues struggles but now that i need that i dont even know who i can talk to it even feels impossible to talk to my parents about where im at right now,3.0
37271,just passed a horrible wreck on  no way the driverpassengers lived ,2.0
37272,kcotney hey havent tweeted w you lately hope things are cool tweet back when ya can ,0.0
37273,willyong thank you ,0.0
37274,owwww please reply just onceeeeeeee ,2.0
37275,rt bbylychee my depression and my anxiety ganging up on me while im out trying to have a good time ,2.0
37276,andysandimas now that sounds like a good start to the day  have a good one,0.0
37277,omgg the last picture on joes top it says poned ,0.0
37278,i see swordfish and sharks hung but no whales  i dont like it here maybe if they had a baby whale anywhere i would,2.0
37279,eating apple crumble and ice cream  and still doesnt get wth twitter is about  follow me to the cookiesssss,0.0
37280,idolscott i  hope you saved room for a decadent dessert you do deserve chocolate on scotty mac day   keep the celebration going,0.0
37281, dont worry about sounding like a moron your previous tweets took care of that ,2.0
37282,rt centreyouthlit some adults dont think ya authors should write about depression and suicide but i get letters daily from teens  jen,2.0
37283,yelyahwilliams for real kid feel better sinus infections suck ,2.0
37284,sims  finished installing ,0.0
37285,i cant bring myself to study for my midterms hiim currently in law school and ever since the beginning of the semester ive been really depressed i slacked on all my school work i often cant even wake up to go to class and when i actually go to class i cant concentrate at all my midterms are starting tomorrow and i have yet to start studying for my first exam every time i open my books to start studying i get bored within  and stop i can barely concentrate for more than  i have no idea what to do i feel miserable all i want to do is stay in my bed and sleep how can i motivate myself to study,3.0
37286,yboey hehe which size i has an l in red ,0.0
37287,mishtipie visiting family and i miss it ,2.0
37288,my sister makes the best chicken ever ,0.0
37289,rt taekwwon top  sad anime endings ,1.0
37290,good morning what a blessing to be able to go to church presenting the india slideshow today ,0.0
37291,rt redtailnupe you was at practice shooting if you missed you do suicides them niggas came through shooting that was our practice i,2.0
37292,cant wait for tonight ,0.0
37293,  switches en routers ,0.0
37294, update  was watching sonny with a chance just now and its a pretty good show ,0.0
37295,point your gun in another direction got work now should be out in the sun  x,2.0
37296,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
37297,getting ready to go to dufan not that excited though thinking of the queue and the heat ,2.0
37298,steve amp chrissy are the best friends ever  wanna get together this we for coffewith fire  loved the card    lol,0.0
37299,had to give the golf back this morning  but shall be buying another  in the next week,2.0
37300,is happy just brought new shoes new top and new dress ,0.0
37301,saw ms hill bka quotkeenyas sisterquot on the train shes uhmmmmi have to bump my hair again ,2.0
37302,i feel really sick imma find where dance is now and try not to die ,2.0
37303,oliviationlee thanks for the invite  i got a party im going to in a couple hours though have fun,0.0
37304,rt  oh my god ,1.0
37305,just got an xbox now at joshs updating  work ,0.0
37306,pantspartay thats ok glad it worked ,0.0
37307,hollywoodintern  ohh ii never had that  im too greedy to order off the dollar menu  ii loves the double doubles with animal fries ,0.0
37308,xaireel gossip girl now lang e u know i was busy the whole week kaya bumabawi lang rin ako ng tulog sayang absent kends later ,2.0
37309,marecollantes sim lim plaza for the electronic gadgets ,0.0
37310,just woke up i feel kinda happy why u ask my see rahma   thats wats up,0.0
37311,thehivemind dont forget to let us when the blog is up i look forward to reading them  now its my turn to get some purplezzzzs night,0.0
37312,doesnt want to go to the dentist tomorrow ,2.0
37313,andythehill it looked like a leprechaun to me everybody seen the leprechaun say yeah yeah   ,0.0
37314,schokopudding no thats so hot  alright im strange maybe in relation to other people hrmpf,0.0
37315,i hate taking naps ,2.0
37316,podcast gut health explained with amnaturopath  guthealth naturopathic health ,1.0
37317,in hollywoooooood  ,0.0
37318,joeymom okdokey ill try and get an address but obviously shes on and off pc these days ,0.0
37319,im kicking it though feeling a little sick alternating talking to friends gaming watching the playoffs and writing an application ,0.0
37320,i feel really sick and i have proper bad belly ache ,2.0
37321,i love how finals are tomarrow and i legit forgot everything at school ,0.0
37322,hey guys how are england doing i would watch it but i dont have sky ,2.0
37323,zoë is asleep  im all alone,2.0
37324,ourmaninchicago oh something about the value of preserving irreplaceable artifacts vs my cute outfits  whatever   ,0.0
37325,helping jess and brianna move but it wants to drizzle and rain ,2.0
37326,aint no stress on me lord im moving forward,1.0
37327,summer school starts tmrw   fml,2.0
37328,all ive wanted to do is sit outside sun is exceptionally hot at the mo  mother is unpacking the loungers ,0.0
37329,is searching for serenik fans on the net please dont hate me people im not a spammer i swear just give us a listen ,0.0
37330,is very sad  im tired of everything,2.0
37331,christineet why ponteng ,2.0
37332,i want sunnn ,2.0
37333,tsubaba we should watch them together sometime anyone else you know like the show it can be a watching party  end of long replies,0.0
37334,childrens day in china today httpbitlyfcojp some free stuff for your kids here too ,0.0
37335,im just so tired of being my own support i have friends and a boyfriend who loves me but i just dont feel like i can talk to anyone they dont have depression they dont understand depression my parents dont think depression is a real condition and were very angry i was seeking medical treatment my dad has aspergers and has told me more than a few times that everyone wants to die sometimes and i should just get over myself my mom just tells me this is my fault and i wouldnt have this if i called her regularly amd would drive  hours to see heri have fought so hard most days i want to die some days i self harm my boyfriend cried when i told him that so i try not to speak of it around him hes the only normal relationship i have i tried therapy but the university therapist wasnt helpful and its so much effort to try and find a therapist in my city i love in a shithole and i hate my degree have you ever tried dealing with normal people problems and depression all while people tell you its your fault or if you just tried this one simple thingmy boyfriend says im strong as hell and i fight my demons like a demon ive had depression and have been suicidal since i was  half my life i started sneaking out to see therapists at age  my mom would find out ajd get upset and accuse me of venting about her being a bad mom i feel like i have been missing out on so much im getting all the ugly in the world amd none of the good ive had some amazing experiences but ill never be truly happy because my brain decided i wouldnt get to have regular emotions i just hate myself,3.0
37336,not feeling too great today  but ow well never mind ay thursday what to do,2.0
37337,its times like this i need my personal greys doctorjacyntaalana to help mei miss her ,2.0
37338,oh bugger it  facup,2.0
37339,  ahh i know i would die ,0.0
37340,ive just read the travelers gift by andy andrews awesome book definately a must read for anyone ,0.0
37341,im so sorry dad i met you when i was  my real father didnt care to raise me and only came around every so often you showed me how important getting an education was how to be respectful and mindful told me fascinating stories and most importantly loved me when i was  my depression worsened and i moved into my aunt and uncles house because i knew they werent home often and i could isolate myself it took me  years to realize i should be spending more time with you i started seeing you for a few hours once or twice a week i wish so badly i wouldve seen you more but there were days when id hardly leave my bed now you are in the hospital the  time within a month im hopeful but things are looking bleak i will be driving up to see you tomorrow but i cant help but think of how bad of a son i must be i hate how lazy my depression has made me i shouldve spent more time with you dad i hope its not too late to change that,3.0
37342,nuevovida unfortunately i dont i dont really use my wii like ever sorry mate i would help you out if i could though ,2.0
37343,depression is caused by displeasing allah,2.0
37344,i wish i was beautiful i wish i was beautiful like so many beautiful people i know so much so it doesnt matter how much weight i gain or lose i know i will look hideous even when i can get out of bed and try to make an effort to see friends they love to take selfies and do photo shoots even if i caked on the makeup i know i would look horrendous in comparison i politely decline as theyre so beautiful and thin i would ruin the photo it plagues me everyday i avoid mirrors when i can i hate all photos of me my boyfriend told me in confidence that im not strikingly beautiful i appreciate his honesty but it was still a huge blow to my self esteem it was my fault really as i asked him because of my insecurities although it did make me come into terms of what i truly am i wish i didnt care what i looked like i wish i could go blind so i wouldnt care if im having a bad day which was everyday before i started taking my medication i would look at my reflection and cry thank you for reading my ramblings i would love to hear from you,3.0
37345,andyheadworth thanks andy  just checked the bbc website amp theyre predicting light rain from    in godstone  yuk ,2.0
37346,francesamerikey yw  sorry was out a bit late on the response lol,0.0
37347,hey ia and mau ,0.0
37348,at the airport so far we didnt get seats together ,2.0
37349,im losing it ive been dealing with some past sexual trauma regrets and painful memories for the past  two years and im honestly just so exhausted from the emotional turmoil sometimes i feel like im getting over it and moving on and then other days it consumes me and i cant help but feel gloomy to be completely transparent on days like today i would much rather be dead than have to deal with this shit for another second i would never ever harm myself but i sometimes just feel like not being here would be so much better i dont know what to do i constantly try to work on it and better myself and my thinkingprocess and what not but im tired of flipping back and forth between wow im finally doing it and whats the fucking point anymorei need some help or support or something im losing my shit ,3.0
37350,amrazing kakak kelasku smp dulu juga begitu sering dibandingkan sama kakaknya padahal dia juara  di smp setela httpstcofsivlhxwvk,1.0
37351,feeling lost so ive struggled with depression for about  years and it has fluctuated from mild to severe in that time periodi have managed to live with it for the most part however these past few months i seem to have completely lost grip of my life my relationship has fallen apart due to my illness and she has moved on quickly which hurts like hell i drink and use drugs more often than i ever have to escape my problems because im not scared of what could go wrong i impulsively attempted suicide after a particularly heavy day of drinking  weeks ago and it has worried my friends and familyi am currently taking antidepressants celexa and going to cognitive behavioural therapy but it doesnt seem to be working out for me i am going to my last therapy session tomorrow and whilst initially it seemed like it was going well i am spiralling into the darkness very quickly and at the moment it seems my next suicide attempt is more of a when than an if although this time i arent proud to say i wont make the mistake of failingso im here to vent i want to get my feelings out and try articulate them even if no one reads or responds although it would be nice to hear some thoughts or ideas on how i can get myself out of thisso firstly  my relationship i cant blame anyone for this except myself even if it hurts and makes me so angry when i see her with her new interest throughout the relationship i was distant i found it hard to get out and do things with her i assured her it wasnt her and that it was my illness making me feel this way and that i loved her she waited for me for a long time but after countless discussions of how it was making her feel i made her hard decision easy by letting her go she was too good for me i hate how i made her feel how lonely she was i hate how much she loved me because i am a piece of shit who couldnt see what i had and now shes gone i feel awful for putting her through it i still love her and every night my emotions take over and i get thrown into a mix of ugly emotions such as rage regret jealousy and sadness this makes me drink and i drink until i have forgotten my problems and passed out i know how hard this is for me because i was in a similar situation with my ex girlfriend and that made me feel very low i hope shes happy but i hope she doesnt forget me because that would break my heart even moresecondly my suicide attempt its the second time that my reckless decisions have nearly taken my life the first was  a serious overdose on a cocktail of illicit drugs the second was a desperate attempt due to having a breakdown after a night of drinking overdosing on my antidepressants and taking ketaminemdma and drinking a lot of alcohol i thought i was at my lowest before i took the overdose but damn waking up in hospital alone was a whole lot worse i was in a lot of pain and in a state of confusion i didnt know what was going on and i had no one i knew around me to tell me as scary as this was ever since i cant shake this feeling off that i should have died the life im living now is borrowed time because i dont want to live i cant handle my illness for much longer especially not on my own the only person who made me feel better was my ex girlfriend and she has now gone and i dont blame her its hard to love someone who is going through something like this she never understood fully how i felt because its impossible for me to tell her i cant describe the turmoil i go through every day and that must have been very hard for her i just hope she knows i love her and that it had to happen for her to live a happy lifeim just at the end of my rope i have tried holding on tried having hope but nothing seems to be working its a dark road and im lost on it i dont know where to go from here i cant see a saving grace even though i have friends and family who love me its just all too much to handle and i wanted someone to know so i posted here thanks for reading if you made it this far i guess hope youre doing well if you are going through anything for what its worth i love you as a person and hope you can find the light,3.0
37352,rt adoredbts why u sad                  idk nan molla ,2.0
37353,rt primaconna drake over boring beat women use instagramlocals omg 😩 he knows whats up 👏🏻 so sad and so true 🙌🏻🤔,2.0
37354,awake sick not a single sign of it missed churchinstead big breakfast with croissants and orange juice and a nice cup of coffee ,0.0
37355,depression and coping with it is unhealthly  this thing your doing because your obviously depressed is really unhealthy stop it      what do you mean needing reassurance over basic qualities of your self is the only way your ever going to start thinking it you cant just instsntly love yourself stop being so unhealthy relying on others to help boost your self esteem on low days is very u healthy you should stop being friends with the people who let you do thatyou are never gonns get better unless you pull yourself from that pit of self pity already whst do you mean this is your normal no i refuse to believe that you dont see love as transcational what do you mean transactional love is what got you into this pit in the first place and is the reason why you suffered through so much abuse nahstop beingunhealthy       what do you mean that youve never had a  healthy  relationship surely you must have been the reason why they all went bad you should forgive your mother she doesnt sound like such a horrible person after realizing how horrible you are stop being horrible and depressing oh yeah also your just a shitty person for existing but be happy and smile and not complain about your existence because no one actually cares about you stop acting unhealthy already and faking your depression i apologise for not being healthy but apparently feeling like you wanna die or arent worth shit isnt depression nor is any of my very visible trama actually trama i should really just get around to forgiving my mother for the  years of verbal emotional mental and physical abuse thank you very much i came for support and left worse out i forgot how horrible you are im sorry i should just stop trying to let orhers know how i feel its too much of a hassle for them,3.0
37356,pterosaur philosiraptor im in philly now and nope  the soonest im going to chicago is late august,2.0
37357,well last night turned out to be more boring than relaxing haha gona hit the shops today ,0.0
37358,bradiewebbstack shutup  i have school but i hav a chicken sandwich  i think you should totally reply since i have to go to school ,0.0
37359,thats my opinion and im sticking to it 😛 httpstcorghkswhxep,1.0
37360,dont want to die but dont want to live either ive been stuck in this weird limbo for the longest time suicide has been on my mind a lot but not in the way that im seriously considering it just the idea of it is something i think about a lot i cant help but contemplate how it would affect everyone around me and who i might hurt by going through with it but at the same time it sounds like the best option because i really dont want to live anymore i dont want to die but living just seems pointless all ive got to look forward to is work and bills and continued disappointment in life the world fucking sucks my country lets me down every day im so far behind in life now because of how much ive slacked off in previous years and how apathetic ive gotten over the past few years ive missed so many opportunities for fucks sake ive been in college for  years and im finally graduating in a month i should be ecstatic but instead i just feel flat like my entire personality is a soda with no carbonation ive got no pizzazz left in me im just existing one day to the next and its so fucking soul crushing sorry for the nonsense gibberish i normally write this stuff out in a notebook but that hasnt been doing it for me anymore lately figured id just post my shit out here on the good ol interwebs and see if anyone else can identify on a side note i hope everyone is having a good day or night and if not i truly hope it gets better or goes better tomorrow ,3.0
37361,susieng hahaha niceeeeee i like that lol  get your license sooooooon,0.0
37362,joshinguno she did ,2.0
37363,wondawoman loli miss youi wish i could be outside in the pool tanning ,2.0
37364,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
37365,inkblue  i want to eat w you i burned my leg making dinner ,2.0
37366,throat is sore   also going to need tons of coffee today,2.0
37367,no cold water tap in our bathroom  i miss my cold water,2.0
37368,gerightyj me too but im going out to buy a raft this afternoon ,0.0
37369,joeymcintyre true dat lol have a great show tonight ,0.0
37370,rt agussveksler pal que pregunta si mi best además de ser sad y masoquista es tarada adjunto rta ,1.0
37371,a poem roses arent redviolets arent eitherive got depressioncan you eat my keema,3.0
37372, ill be in alsace in the north on the german border tiedyechick for the better part of a year i hope so ,0.0
37373,parked next to a broken bird legs snapped in half  saddest thing ever,2.0
37374,and that my tan is leaving me ,2.0
37375,rt shannonpurser depression sucks im in the middle of it rn i know some of you are too were going to make it,2.0
37376,ilovedemiselena wow selenas going to so many shows promotions but why alone ,2.0
37377,pauljacobson google voice yip  but not in sa yet and unlikely soon  need voip switches in country ,2.0
37378,sageeb wait till you try to sign up to startupseeds and they tell you that you cant because youre over  awesome ,0.0
37379,  i miss mowing down every tuesday night with this bitch ,2.0
37380,testing gia dining room wmrstatile so far so good the tolberon cocktail just knocked my socks off ,0.0
37381,what have i actually done ,2.0
37382,kiwi blasted for rehoming dog ,2.0
37383,austinlynne i do try to tweet in english when you guys are awake last night was a glitch ,0.0
37384,listening to weird al on youtube ,0.0
37385,finished drawing my spiderman pic  ill upload it to the blog  tonight to post tomorrow  maybe ill twitpic a preview ,0.0
37386,i am so tired and its only wednesday ,2.0
37387,rt iisuperwomanii does the question do you have your passport give you the same level of anxiety that it gives me this is one of the,2.0
37388,weather held off nicely only  mins between ceremony and sitdown cream crackered but about to tuck into roast beef ,0.0
37389,if there is only  week sem break for me there will also be no hongkong trip for me sad ,2.0
37390,camoneymikhael  realcandaceo you are so right blacks and whites suffered together after the civil war ,0.0
37391,tsharms see i always knew i was good at convincing people ,0.0
37392,now is the battery problem ,2.0
37393,tholdersr not swine flu i hope  i dont even remember hehe p,2.0
37394,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
37395, glad to help grlll  and btw is the robkristen moment before or after the movie preview,0.0
37396,going to take a shower ,0.0
37397,ravagespeed very true  im getting that lens i rented awhile back ,0.0
37398,depression has taken away everything i have ever been depression has always been a part of me key word being part ive always been pretty content with it and just accepted it as part of who i am not to say that i didnt wish i wasnt depressed or that i didnt seek professional help multiple times i saw several different therapists but none of them ever seemed to make any progress at all with me i used to think it made me stronger if i could cope with the feelings of isolation loneliness constant suicidal thoughts self harm and the general existential meaninglessness of life i could handle anything and that was true when i still existed but after so many years of accepting defeat in battle after battle with these inexplicable feelings i think depression has finally taken over my identity completely even in my previous years coping with depression i found meaning and joy in some places in life i was generally an outsider because of social anxiety that has only grown worse as i grow older but i always had a few friends who meant the world to me and who i know genuinely valued and liked me too thinking back even though i was depressed i used to be funny i and the people around me were always laughing sure i had a pretty thick shell but when i came out of it i used to have so much to say and many things i was genuinely interested inof late i have none of that anymore i have nothing to say i have no interests i have no aspirations i dont laugh and i dont make people laugh depression has taken that all from me and left me with absolutely nothing to offer to the world nothing to offer in a friendship or relationshipnot to toot my own horn but i used to be a really interesting person people really cared to hear what i said about things because i always had an intelligent unique and beautiful way of looking at the world now i dont know anything about anythingim fucking tired of being stuck inside the emptiness of my own head i hate depression for taking away my ability to connect with people connection is the only thing that gives meaning to my life and im not even connected to myself anymoreim about to drop out of my second college because i failed yet again to make literally a single friend i feel like im at the end of my rope every path is a dead end because the thing all paths have in common is me and im an empty fucking vessel that has room for nothing but sadness if anyone actually read this ramble and relates to how im feeling first of all thanks for taking the time to read and second of all youre not as alone as you think and i guess that means im not either and if anyone has any fucking clue on how to fix this mess i managed to create for myself im all ears cuz i cant really think of anything to do except wait till i die so i dont have to deal with this shit anymore im so tired that happiness doesnt even seem worth fighting for anymore,3.0
37399,gettin ready to go to a bbq its to damn hot outside ,2.0
37400,disappointed im not at all interested in the trending topics ,2.0
37401,the last one hit me hard chfnfbcndnd httpstcoflxcpshqxi,2.0
37402,waynesutton we arent confirmed for blogworld yet but deadline just ended  working on finalizing travel plans now should be amazing,0.0
37403,shut up cfeddii hahahahaha i knowwwww gaby did ittttttt ,2.0
37404,yuanwenling jiayou let me know if u need help k ,0.0
37405,donniewahlberg u could pick one of mine or u could give me some shit ,0.0
37406,mtvindia   they r just  ,0.0
37407, hrs until rove  hurrry up,2.0
37408,hellasound ,0.0
37409,just  days left in school and then i will be heading to montenegro wohoo sweeet it is  one week left exactly to montenegro ,0.0
37410,miacavallo good morning and a good day to you too ,0.0
37411,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
37412,i really cant sleep ,2.0
37413,fourplaces sounds perfect down at the beach judi  wish we could have seen you last weekend  well catch up in tulsa though cant wait,2.0
37414,amyshell awwwww ,2.0
37415,djbriancua still you should really rest as in bed not the bar rest for a few days ,0.0
37416,mitchelmusso hey mitchel it would mean so much if you replied to me ,2.0
37417,bipolar bare with me im not a great story teller a week ago i was thinking of easy ways to do it i came close twice i ruined my relationship of  years because of my insecurities and the fact that i test love i was still in contact with my ex during the darkest time of my life she was always there for me and never gave me a reason to doubt her in any way i still did alot even after everything i put her through i left her at least a dozen times within  years she was always right there to take me back she finally has had enough and told me she doesnt want to be a part of me anymore basically said that i was bringing her life down and she cant be a part of me when i dont want to help myselfwhich i didnt i didnt care about absolutely anything she did this even knowing that i wanted to do it seemingly right at my lowest point she said this to me i couldnt believe it i was a horrible mess but her doing that was extremely eye opening for me almost a blessing in disguise at that moment when i realized i would never talk to her again i told myself i cant do this again i cant ever lose someone i care so much about because of my depression i cant let it beat mesince thenabout  days my mood has changed i havent gotten urges in fact for the most part i am happy i was always scared to talk about being depressed bc i was always a tough guy i gave all that up and now im not afraid to tell anyone what i go througheven though i have been feeling better i know that my depressive state will come back eventually i do want help now but i am skeptical to talk to a professional i have done it once before and it was a complete waste of time and money i am also open to medication but i dont know how to go about getting it do i just say im depressed and they cough it upthis has been happening for as long as i can remember ill be depressed for a few weeks then be happy or ok which is why i think it fucked my relationship me leaving her every so often for no good reason to be honest i dont know why i just typed of that kudos if you read it all maybe im just venting because i dont really have friends do you think im bipolar how do you treat bipolar,3.0
37418,peachypictures  youre welcome sorry to have unintentionally left you out ,2.0
37419,this pandemic is making me lose my mind im trying to be grateful that i at least have a roof over my head but i cant take this tension any more i  cannot take being in the same fucking house every day and constantly have to take precautions i cant touch my mail i cant go to the grocery store i have to do everything through a screen several people near my location tested postive for  i have a family member who works at a hospital and talks about the lack of ppe the stress the utter lack of control is driving me insane my depression has gotten worse fuck this shit i feel like im in a nightmare and i dont know when its gonna end or if it ever willi just feel empty my meds dont work as well as they used to im so tired,3.0
37420,the last remaining survivor of titanic millvina dean died yesterday so sad ,2.0
37421,my emotions are gone today ive woken up without feeling anything my emotions seem to have disappeared im confused as to why idek if im in love with the girl im in love with anymore shes helped me through my depression without knowing it and i told her near the end of last year she lives in england now unfortunately and i live on the opposite end of the world my depression and suicidal thoughts have returned with a bit of hocd and i couldnt open up about it but now today i feel dead inside i dont really like it cause idk what im feeling obviously i cant bring myself to tears anymore which is a plus at least but ive lost my happiness in the world and hobbies i guess i thought maybe not having contact with people i know outside of my house could be the reason maybe im going insane maybe im getting normal but if this is being normal i prefer being depressed any help would be greatly appreciated,3.0
37422,i dont feel comfortable in my own skin these last months have been stressful on me ever since i greend out on some edibles and had a massive panic attack ive been depressed and anixous ive had enough and just dont care anymore i dont care that my adhd has gotten worse because i decided to have some edibles i dont care if i wake up feeling like im about to die i know its just anxiety and these thoughts have no credibility my emotions have been stuck on depression and anxiety for a while im afraid of my own shadow because my adhd has become severe to the point to where my own actions feel faster than what my brain can handle i feel like theres no real depth to me anymore i really miss being just depressed over stupid shit like a girl that didnt want me i feel so slow mentally and regret ever touching those edibles i dont care if no one reads this i just need to get this off my chest,3.0
37423,it hurts so much to be alone but it also hurts to be with others i cant take it anymore i feel so helpless wallowing in my room and when someone invited me somewhere and on the rare chance i actually go i feel so out of place and lonely why do people want to be with me when i get emotional from the fucking stupidest and small things i havent been diagnosed yet and i feel like a fraud posting here but idk where else to ,3.0
37424,can someone tell me whats wrong with me so for a stint a few years ago i got real depressed and came close to ending it all since then ive gotten a lot better and am on top of things and life is good got myself a girlfirend got into uni hell my parents even seem to be working through their shit but through it all and everything feeling to be looking up i cant shake this god damn feeling that im not good enough and i keep messing up and all the little things seem huge to me and i cant find a purpose or passion or anything worth it and no im not actively depressed or anything but i go to bed each night composing scenes of my own death or demise to see what other people might think and it always ends with no one giving a shit  sorry i dont know who i can talk to and reddit is a decent place sometimes ,3.0
37425,isnt going to vegas in july after all floyd mayweather has a broken rib ,2.0
37426,just saw a serious andrew mcmahon look a like ,0.0
37427,rt rosylovr i wish i could b a social butterfly n easily talk  people but my anxiety kills any chance of that,0.0
37428,is feeling like she has a fever and has the chills   ,2.0
37429,tried to call a friend but only got her machine  well im off to make cinnamon pinwheel scones nomnomnomnom,2.0
37430,looks really nice outside today in shorts and tshirt  and my hand can glow ,0.0
37431,shopping ,0.0
37432,done working for the winter now i can do whatever i want anyone got a job ,0.0
37433,msknitsox ugh that sucks yay for your bb to keep you entertained ,0.0
37434,borntoend i know those poor people  yup deffo would use natal as an excuse to hit people lol i have issues,2.0
37435,£ for osx  money i dont have  need to get it before the windows  rc registration runs out,2.0
37436,wahhhhh i have to learn physics but i dont know what i have to learn ,2.0
37437,outlook not syncing again ,2.0
37438,rt graypiper big depression energy right here ,1.0
37439,memerryl dunno hope its not rachel or cory ,0.0
37440,wolfierankin thanks for that wolfies world in second life is also really interesting thats an area im still discovering cheers ,0.0
37441,so excited that the new moon trailer is out  ,0.0
37442,romeroandjuliet i know that song is amazing btw you will still have friends if you go ill always be one of you bestys right ,2.0
37443,sharylann i dont careeeeeeeee  i work early i feel like shiit gahhh,2.0
37444,when should i admit myself to the hospital ive been depressed and having panic attacks and lately everything seems to be going wrong ive been trying to get into a counselor but everywhere is either full or not answering the phone i also called for an appointment with a psychiatrist but i need a referral from my php whichi dont have i called a doctor amd they need me to fill out an intake form and fax it i feel like it would be easier to just die will a hospital help me i dont have plans or anything its just ive been thinking about it more and more as things get worse,3.0
37445,god its so bleedin warm i love it ,0.0
37446,jameslacey i think your flatmates turned you into an early bird ,0.0
37447,my hot pink bberry died  and im exhausteddedd tomorrow is going to be major work,2.0
37448,crespimweb hi pauloooooooo long time no read you nice to read you again how are you today  do you take lunch,0.0
37449,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
37450,not looking forward to having to write stat reports for customer tomorrow ,2.0
37451, good morning twovelys  it felt good to sleep past  now its shower time then on the road to la ,0.0
37452,its been a terrible two weeks ive had a rough two weeks and cant study for shit right now i dont feel like i can talk to anyone and thoughts of suicide are having a hayday any belief i used to have in myself being other than a failure has crashed to pieces for the millionth time but i still have to sit up and shut up and not show a thingmy grandparents  all of them  are still sick and have been so for several weeks my grandma had even been rushed to er but at least shes in recovery now my family  mom dad and little sister  have had no choice but to rush between them with the little time off work theyve had except that im studying so my family insisted i wont take days offmy family is busy all week trying to keep the situation under control and i cant help them on the other hand i also cant study because im so depressed my brain wont work or rather it works overtime on focusing on how i feel and not on studying so not only am i a worthless sack of shit on my own im also letting down my family and cant do anything about my depression since they are already so burdened,3.0
37453,thegreatrudy at least we still got twitter to communicate ,0.0
37454,had lots of fun at the skate park though the only skating i did was being on the board going back and forth over the sidewalk lol ,0.0
37455,feeling empty and rotten certain moments over the last  years have gotten me to a place that is becoming a huge problemi havnt left my house in nearly a monthi sleep maybe  hours of the day and drink and smoke myself to sleep every nighti used to have a gf and a house and job and lost all of that to addiction issues and my own actions completly all of my friends have chosen sides and i am now alone and really struggling day to dayi live with my mum now and ive withdrawn from life so much that i just dont know what to do anymore i cant figure out what to do even writting here is a massive task but im stuck and i know whats at the end of this if i dont sort itive only spoken to one human being in  months and havnt left my house in  day i think ive left my room once in two daysi just need to write this as im stuck and dunno how to get out of this horror show,3.0
37456,is it okay to cry when feeling bad feels like i always cry when im sad,3.0
37457,stevetan yessir i am   workin out here in san francisco,2.0
37458,did the aircon just diedoff ,2.0
37459,quotking james left the playoffs as a loserquot by adrian wojnarowski  is spot onand a sad commentary on lebrons quotlegacyquot ,2.0
37460,cursedbyevil yeah cant watch it anymore ,2.0
37461,ive been really sad the last couple of days and its probably hormones but honestly im just sad about my existence lmao,1.0
37462,justagirl no coffee this morning ,2.0
37463, cant wait to see all of the derby hats out there today ,0.0
37464,very short and recurrent suicidal episodes they are really really short a few hours but they scare me because when i have them i really want to kill myself i write the final letter i organize things i search for the best way to kill myself i read things about suicide i think about which medication should i take but a few hours later or the following morning i am normal again but during the episode i am very rational i dont feel delusional at all i just keep in mind that if this situation doesnt get better i will do it or there no reasons that it will get better i have already tried everything since years i overanalyze everything and sometimes i am not even crying i used to cry a lot during my past depressions now i have a blank face i am even happy with the idea of myself pressing the stop button but sometimes i wonder if i am really suicidal because i am not laying in bed cliché thought i have high levels of motivation and i love going out and talking to people i even tell myself ok it will be your last night it will be so great those episodes are recurrent does it mean the suicidal thoughts get severe i dont understand because i feel able to get control and i am currently not the stereotypical depressed person i have a schizoaffective disorder but i take medication,3.0
37465,rt willhitchuva i resigned from a think tank at uva today because i felt it betrayed its principles in giving a senior fellowship to trum,1.0
37466,msstewart klbz you mean this one  because that is how i feel also the exhausted face if we have one of those,2.0
37467,getting ready to work ,2.0
37468,ohhh then dad oppened the door when i was taking pictures of wood peckers and they floooooow off  haha,2.0
37469,david made cheesecake apparently cheesecake can have the consistancy of chewing gum ,2.0
37470,alice joemisika yeh great match but again teamwork you know torres shoulda passed lotsa times but he didnt  silly man im happy tho,2.0
37471,interferon therapy for hepatitis c can cause depression,2.0
37472,waynefarro wait and see ,0.0
37473,is so upset at the person who stole my husbands laptop  it had ulys  ultrasound pics in it ,2.0
37474,cbetham im trying to fit everyone ,0.0
37475,oi i messed up my back ,2.0
37476, pm friday head ache painarghhh its my weekend not time to be sick ,2.0
37477,only  beers and im doing the stanky leg ,2.0
37478,briannippon  x  and im giving you virtual hugz,2.0
37479,im so tired this morning it makes me want to cry  i hope i dont fall asleep while the students are testing,2.0
37480,chaitee not info so much as my crazy changeable moods ,2.0
37481,lesperk ohhh well sorry to hear that  hope tomorrow is better,2.0
37482,at the beach ,0.0
37483,bloyal unfortunately i dont have plans to return to san diego in the near future  ,2.0
37484,okay im having an anxiety attack catch you all later,2.0
37485,i cant stay awake right now so i guess taiheartshbk i was wrong about coming back ,2.0
37486,im bored and have nothing to do plus in pain cause arm now really weak and hurting after the hospital ,2.0
37487, no summer dates for me  just saw them in april,2.0
37488,injerarufus i do now but sometimes they get by me followcost is an interesting little app  apparently  of my tweets are replies,0.0
37489,juliansimpson lol twitterring is the process ,0.0
37490,anyone have a spare  adapter for ibm laptop everything is fail ,2.0
37491,rt splashgvng wish i wasnt sad,1.0
37492,and i find it kinda funny i find it kinda sadthe dreams in which im dying are the best ive ever had ,0.0
37493,fantasyauthor ty so much sweetie    glad u enjoyed,0.0
37494,its official my bonsai tree is dead ,2.0
37495,the freaky blob thin is useless  nobody got scared ,2.0
37496,check out the music shoppe in harrison oh they are amazing ,0.0
37497,im going to spend quality time with dawi and fairy ,0.0
37498,nandiaramos i know ill get to see some of the boys with the snt but its not the same i want chente ,2.0
37499,is headed to the winery with priscilla and claire    lovin this day  couldnt ask for prettier weather,0.0
37500,how much dissatisfaction do we all live with most days true off my chest moment im tired like completely exhausted every day even though my doctors say everythings fine i feel like im dying im probably trans but im too afraid to do anything about it im not even brave enough to bring it up with my therapist what would i even do about it lose my job be stuck on yet another drug for the rest of my life go through major surgeries that require recovery time i cant afford but it grates at me every day  everything i do is a fake attempt at being normal  ive wanted to die since i was  and have tried to think of every way possible i could do it with minimal impact on others also too afraid to bring that up in therapy dont want to get institutionalizedi dont think that humanity was meant to experience as much leisure time as we have in the modern first world idle hands and all that pretty sure we were supposed to experience trauma after trauma until we died at the grand old age of so anyway i try to fill my time but its all make work besides my actual job that pays my rent i have no responsibilities so i sit and dwell on my spoiled dissatisfaction no hobby distracts me from it no volunteer org wants to work around my work schedule and id be flaky at best anyway theres just reddit and netflix,3.0
37501,at yummy party in blackheath ,0.0
37502,gettin mad pissed that cici keeps login off aim ,2.0
37503,i left a job i hated for a job i enjoy but im afraid its going to make me miserable im  and up until a few weeks ago ive only done retail jobs that were easy with low responsibilities but i hated all of them because the everchanging hours always working weekends and holidays and just knowing i was capable of more three weeks ago i got a job that isnt my dream job or even anything i wouldve thought id be doing a year ago the people are nice the pay is better and its a steady  i genuinely like the jobbut i guess i got comfortable after doing retail jobs for so long the mundaneness of going to bed at  and waking up at  and working until  day after day until finally the weekend comes is just so daunting i never imagined having a regular office job i was always more ambitious as a kid and when i was in college im missing the low responsibility of retail jobs getting a random day off in the middle of the week to sleep in sleeping until  because i didnt have to work until  staying up until  because i didnt have to work until  even though i hated it so much more i get really depressed thinking about the daunting finality of working  mondayfriday for the next  or  years,3.0
37504,going to the zoo today  that is if the rain doesnt get too bad ,2.0
37505,chriskeene yes working for me too again now there some issues with my links to the semweb stuff at free university berlin ,2.0
37506,i get anxious really easily like actually my face gets red and i get hot and sweat just by talking i hate this its really annoying and irritating it makes it seem like im gonna cry when im not,3.0
37507,tomfelton btw come to australia you have many fans here ,0.0
37508,because i love the    ,0.0
37509, hows that sammich and coffee ,0.0
37510,rockin socks anonymous  girl meets geek is launching a line of quothawt and geekyquot tees for ,0.0
37511,hey every body look im nolonger a brown box im so glad ,0.0
37512,another rainy weekend ,2.0
37513,being happy for few hours just reminds me how much being depressed sucks i used to have pretty much nothing i cared about which in a way made dealing with depression easier being apathetic towards everything simply felt justified now i have the most loving and caring girlfriend but any time a spend without her just feels so much worse i often forget about all the negative stuff in my life when i am with her but that just serves to remind me how much better my life would be if i didnt have to deal with this i hate the fact that i have thoughts like this because it is so unfair to her ,3.0
37514,i want to meet selenagomez ,2.0
37515,im sad as fuck im sad as fuck and it hurts physically i hate this pain,3.0
37516,tourekevelyn  heck yeah ,0.0
37517,sad but ayyy,2.0
37518,i want a diagnosis very long post im new to reddit and this is my very first posti honestly dont know where to start i feel like i shouldnt complain about my life im  ive been raised in an upper middle class family had a good education had bad experiences in middle and high school but still had my few closeish friends ive done my fair share of letting loose a little too much if you know what i mean im in uni now currently in the second half of my exchange year on the other side of the world and just started my first real relationship with a wonderful wonderful man who is showing me how nice people can actually be and also unknowingly helping me stabilize my bad habits he will follow me to my home uni to do an exchange semester there in a few months time it sounds picture perfect doesnt it i know theres a lot more negative behind the scenes action that happened throughout my life that i havent written but from the outside this is how my life looks to put it simply though im sad and angry mainly angry at my family for the choices they made for me and forced upon me throughout my childhood school was tough  i didnt realize it then but i was bullied university got better and i am one of the popular ones i dont care for popularity but if i had to label it i would be one of them and life was actually fun but then i feel like i shouldnt be allowed to be so happy or im afraid of being so happy i let my family down in not doing what they wanted me to do as well so i feel like im going to be punished for that somewhere along the line or that i shouldnt beam not forgiven for it i feel like i dont deserve to have such a perfect boyfriend of course hes not perfect all the time and what he says can be hurtful sometimes but i feel a sense of comfort when he does this because thats how it should be i should be treated badly at least sometimes because im not perfect and i need the spats of anger thrown at me im not a masochist or anything its just that it doesnt feel right when everything is so good i need to get the same amount or more of the bad as i do the goodi am suicidal i know how im going to do it and i have a folder of unfinished letters to my closest friends i recently realized that i always have been suicidal since age  i feel low almost all the time  to the point that when i dont feel low i am almost concerned but i dont show it to the outside i am a happy person i am numb but recently i cry a lot more than i used to just suddenly without any prior warning and it wont stopmy family is the type to say very openly and chastisingly that mental illnesses are just one of the very many labels that people like to make up these days and my mom whom i dont know why but dont have the best relationship with wont take me seriously and thinks that anything im going through now is just a phase but i feel like  years of feeling like this is more than just a phaseat this point in a way more than for my peace of mind i want an official diagnosis just so i can prove to my family that what im going through is in fact very very real any online depression test i take lands me in the severe depression category and what with research and again the online tests i think theres a high possibility i might have bpd i dont know if these online tests are reliable but its a start either way right im thinking of starting therapy here abroad instead of my home country this is also a big step for me because i cant help but feel that therapy is a little to put it bluntly stupid an hour of complaining aboutfeeling sorry for yourself talking how can talking help anything really but ive decided to put this mindset aside and start and hopefully get a diagnosis thereim sorry for ranting i honestly dont know what my point is but i just want help or support stability i want stability,3.0
37519,evolvedmommy lmao you are so silly  dont worry quotprengnacy brainquot the universal excuse ,0.0
37520,gooster  aw but love doesnt have to be a physical thing  everybody needs love  the link love for example is nice  ,0.0
37521,i have my movie downloaded ugh now to put it on a disk so far no luck ,2.0
37522,cant use sativas for my anxiety only pure indicas no hybrids amp cbd oil,1.0
37523,all this talk about the soccer world cup is making me want to go just kick a damn ball but there is no park near by ,2.0
37524,life is okay life might suck tmmrw and it sucked yesterday but rn today was a great day i didnt care about my dumb old friends and i didnt care about that boy i crushed on who broke my heart i had friends and i hun out with them im actually doing okay honestly i mean life isnt the best and i still wish my parents could change some things and i could get certain things but im happy i hope all the good people in my life get so much happiness because they deserve it thanks guys ,3.0
37525,vagelisv haha advice straight from a guy i think that says more than any magazine could ,0.0
37526,eemilymmay you are lucky i have a forensic exam first up so no sleep in for me ,2.0
37527,i want to know if depression can be a feeling accompanying change ive always had a hard time dealing with change mostly because i feel a massive wave of depression like a loss of what am i leaving andor what could potentially be lost going into the future does anyone else ever feel like this ive fucking screwed myself up because of such thoughtsfeelings and i am so sick and tired of it but its difficult to surmount the sheer irrationality of debilitating depression when it starts to mentally crowd around me on all sides i want to know if this is normal i know fear in reaction to getting out of your comfort zone or changing is normal but i dont know if depressive feelings are if anyone else has insight into this i think it would help me a lot to because knowledge and clarity would give me the strength to overcome and push forward in changing myself my life of note i dont have insurance or enough money to see a therapist so seeking professional counseling is not an option at the moment,3.0
37528,theres no value in this world an acquaintance of mine same age  old one week ago killed himselfat first i thought that his choice made little sense why kill yourself when you can just live with the despair pain is better than the void righti dunno anymore i thought about suicide a lot when i was younger precisely during highschools first two years then the drive to silence my pain slowly vanished till the point where now i barely feel somethingnow my existence is idle i know that i should make something out of my life but i cannot gather the will to do so im in therapy and its a relief but every time that i walk out of my psychologist studio i feel like i am still that kid that wants to end it all just because the alternative takes too much effortthere are things that keeps me going like there are a lot of videogames that i wanna play books i wanna read and films i wanna see but thats it im living just to distract myself from realityi dunno if its related but i noticed that in the last few years im easily and heavily triggered by violence like crime news about homicides hate crimes or just plain and simple prevarication by a human being towards anotheri wish i wasnt human i wish i wasnt part of this worldmaybe that guy really made the right choice,3.0
37529,has a really sore throat which really sux  gonna go to bed soonwork tomorrow from ,2.0
37530,going to work now ,2.0
37531,rain again im working till  come say hi and make my day ,0.0
37532,its a nice sunny day here i want to do something so bad but im kinda sick ,2.0
37533, lol could well have   ill take a better pic later as it was a bit too close up still only an only child at the moment ,2.0
37534,shit gttfw you have an amazing boyfriend youre losing weight youre going to therapy youre on  mg prozac you have an amazing family amazing friendsgttfw youre still fucking depressed why am i here,3.0
37535,gah i cant get into chat ,2.0
37536,so upset that spring break is like over ,2.0
37537,rt aligatie i love sad songs,1.0
37538,hypocritee ,2.0
37539,on  holidays in a row probably not dont think i have the pennies  feel bit sad now bring on team supreme hol fun ,2.0
37540,at last my love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song ,0.0
37541, woooooow that sounds so goooood right now  mmmmmm ,0.0
37542,lyraliza  if youre allergic to dust you shouldnt be cleaning,2.0
37543,sometimes i look at these medications and think damn my grandma would grab leaves and beat the anxiety out of me,1.0
37544,melsidwell i will look for a good site to point you to but if you google quotrefined sugar detoxquot you will find alot its hard to do ,0.0
37545,i just realized today is the first of june  happy bday nanny and dad,2.0
37546,thrilled to be cited at no   thank you  best stress management books of all time httpstcoqiakvjzpbr,2.0
37547,going to take my depression nap now 🙂,2.0
37548, darn you city i just want to leave,2.0
37549,elegantmachines sorry to hear that ,2.0
37550,dannywood hahaha was great seeing you again in us back in uk now  show was amazing hope to see ypou all,2.0
37551,layin downtoo bad i cant see desi tonite ,2.0
37552,youmeatsix  wiked,0.0
37553,why does it seem like i havent accomplished anything except a bigger mess its all good tho i love cleaning in cool sunny days ,0.0
37554,khloekardashian    morning khloe no slackin today lets get on that cardio       ,0.0
37555,i have hurt my finger very badly ,2.0
37556,just finished cutting music for dm yay now have to go do more drama  any one know where we can get  broken laptops  free,2.0
37557,ugh its really hard to sleep with so much noise all around the house ,2.0
37558,im back its been more than  days since my last twit looks like i have a lot of catching up to do hehehe ,0.0
37559,i cant see any stars right now and that makes me really sad,0.0
37560,jrathbne thank you for your updates  kate x,0.0
37561,anthonycashcash i know we were gonna suprise you guys with all your favorite flavors ,2.0
37562,if anyone can help me understand it would be nice i am a  year old boy today i my mom called me into her room and asked what i would like to do because my counselor thinks im lonely i said ok and walked immediately i started crying and i dont know why i have lots of friends at school but sometimes i think im not their friend in all honesty i get bullied at school i get made fun of constantly because i let it happen its my fault i know i shouldnt but know why i let it happen maybe its because im being lonely im scared of being near people sometimes i think about people and how they might be saying bad things about me i know i should talk to someone but i hate being called a victim like im helpless and weak and i cant take care of my self well now im posting this because i would rather get answer online from people than talk to a professional face to facewhy am i so sad why am i not strong enough,3.0
37563,svubcod that storm las night uprooted part of my garden and it made me sick ,2.0
37564,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
37565,im just a sad song,1.0
37566,carlthompson its not arrived in hertfordshire yet ,2.0
37567,  love my new mini tophat ,0.0
37568,blogger update  would  you believe i gained a new follower but lost an existing follower just my luck    httpwwwcarmasezcom,2.0
37569,this is so funny  me cause youre literally on crack,0.0
37570,is wendi tweeting im still in the dark ,2.0
37571,selling unneeded stuff someone wanting a next workstation or rare sgi hp  gecko or a nice fast  vw polo ,0.0
37572,dont want to go to ocean park tomorrow its going to be too frikking hot to have fun ,2.0
37573,melissaanelli  hey just wanted to let you know i  your book it was really good any more book ideas ,0.0
37574,so im back guys ready and back to work ,0.0
37575,callmegoddess well you already have a lot of points with me but seriously you scored some more w that one ,0.0
37576,gearing up to put a bunch of classic video games amp systems up on ebay out with the old in with a new photo printer ,0.0
37577,rt centreyouthlit there are still too many books that romanticize depression suicide and selfharm  jenniferniven yamatters,1.0
37578,everyday i think about how billie eilish is going on tour and im not going to her concert and i get very sad,1.0
37579,another beautiful saturday in cph ,0.0
37580,lost for thought wife if  years is in love with another man and has had a child with said man but swears to me that she still loves me as well i understand that its a lie how can a person have that kind of love for more than one person and think that one doesnt know whats going on i hate everything about how this is playing out but for fear of losing my children i stick it out she gets mad at me for bringing up the fact shes always talking to him but god forbid if i talk to another woman im automatically cheating i couldnt find another woman if i even tried unfortunately im an asshole pretty much all around but i make sure her and  children never have to worry about anything i take care of it all she doesnt even have to work or get the kids ready for school what did i do so horribly wrong to deserve this in life ,3.0
37581,rt kieraplease half the time i dont even be knowing why im sad sadness just be slapping me in the face for no reason,0.0
37582, amelie  i miss you  i can´t wait for tomorrow xoxo ,2.0
37583,thechildoftime of course not  its only your final vedm ,0.0
37584,aww my son gave me a purple g shock for mothers day ,0.0
37585,theotherap at least youll get to use  right away i hafta wait until friday for the unlock ,2.0
37586,i mean netbeans  rather than netbeans   but i guess i think of it that way ,0.0
37587, oly just cancelled my sub job for tomorrow ran to get gas and car died pulling in driveway   actually i am very lucky  luv cb,2.0
37588,hilarious world of depression if you are depressed like me and not listening to john moes podcast the hilarious world of depression you are missing out on a lot of laughs and a lot of wisdom and insight into the depression is depression funny thanks john moe,3.0
37589,just saw sarah off and now im getting so excited for vacay one week ,0.0
37590,has anyone actually gotten better im starting to think that my depression is just a fundamental part of who i am that ill never recover from it  im just wondering if anyone out there who has had chronic depression ie depression not caused by an event like a loved ones death has ever gotten better  ,3.0
37591,rt laurensouthern right thats why the police told me the area is highly religious and it would be illegal for me to criticize islam,2.0
37592,officially  more days to go  best thing is a  day weekend,0.0
37593,woke up this morning thinking it was monday and was so glad when i realized it was sunday the best feeling ,0.0
37594,im so fucked i have about a week until ill be kicked out to find a job because my brother cant afford to have me and ive applied for liturally about  jobs and my cv is as solid as someone without experience can be then after that ill essentially be homeless ,3.0
37595,im going to the dentist tomorrow and im terrified i havent had a cleaning in over  years not since my grandma was alive im  and this is the first time ive had dental insurance as an adult my mom didnt take me as a teen and ive struggled on and off with depression for years that led to not always taking care of my teeth on top of that i have bum genetics my dad has no natural teeth left and my younger  year old sister has had most of hers pulled too i have two teeth broken to the gum nothing left outside it and another two or three broken vertically in half that are slowly falling apart i clench and grind my jaw from anxiety or something i just assume anxiety which didnt help all the crumbling teeth are the ones that tend to press together when i do the last time i went for an extraction the hygienist was  understanding or comforting im panicking that ill be treated the same way tomorrow and maybe i deserve the lecture but im already super anxious about the impending costs and the whole process of getting work done and i just dont want to hear something i already know i guess i just hoped id feel better getting it all out in the open before i have to explain myself tomorrow to a professional depression sucks but if you do one thing try to make it brushing your teeth,3.0
37596,how do you get better after a partners death i feel like talking to the people in my life is only making it more complicated and difficult to deal with i am literally just going through the motions and dont want to hurt the people around me so im pretending every single day i pretend like im fine even when im hungover and puking from emotional stress in the bathroom  minutes before returning to work  i dont see the point in talking about things but i dont want to carry this pain anymore,3.0
37597,has to download iphone sdk again because it got interrupted and wont mount ,2.0
37598,so not in the mood for gym class still ache from dance audition yesterday ,2.0
37599,clickdagger  yeah my ears are still recovering too ,2.0
37600,sorta sad  okay really sad dangit how can people be so mean,2.0
37601, hehe  but i wish you were going to be here ,2.0
37602,things are bad in my family my brother is falling apart mentally and physically he believes everyone else is the problem physically hes in bad shape too he has to have surgery soon my parents are falling apart all over their career is suffering plus their mental health physical health finances i hate to see them cry so much they dont know what to do i dont know how i can support them i cant do much financially i can do hugs run occasional errands tell them theyre doing just fine as parents and as people ill support them when my brother starts to pull shit legally hes losing it im trying not to think about it too much most of it doesnt seem real like my brother is just acting he believes it all though,3.0
37603,drinkin soup for  days now ,2.0
37604,mmm hot tub at a friends place felt great did nothing for my kneeankle  ,2.0
37605,sherina what those are legit skills ,0.0
37606, its such an adorable movie and it made me want to go to disneyland youll laugh a ton in it i promise  movie marathon for sure,0.0
37607,just got back had lots of fun with alom tom and aldrick im going to miss those guys ,2.0
37608,sirdesmond haha hmm well hmm yeah  sorry ,2.0
37609,i feel like dancing anyone wanna join me ,0.0
37610,sad on my bday so today is my  birthday ive been waiting for this day as long as i could remember yet now thats here im not as happy as id hoped to be ive always wanted to do something grand for my  birthday but these past few months i just havent been feeling it for starters i got shot last year on my birthday amp ill have to admit ive been an emotional wreck since on top of that i feel like no one really cares that its my birthday all i wanted to do was spend time with my closest friends instead they all had an excuse on why they couldnt show up anyway i want to shake this feeling and be happy today but im not sure how any suggestions,3.0
37611,need a workout buddy you have no friends thats sad bruh,1.0
37612, not so good last night tho  ,2.0
37613,साढे चार वर्षको छोरोको हत्यापछि आमाद्वारा पनि आत्महत्या  via stim news all about system t ,0.0
37614,candicotton lol im wiv u on dat dey dnt deserve any bit of respect  y ud  do u wrong anyway dats like not normal ur awsome d,0.0
37615,i hate working all weekend ,2.0
37616,says afternoon all just woke up last night was perfect  ,0.0
37617,is there anyone like me i have been pretty much living my entire life pretending to be someone else not like in a patrick bateman kind of way i am a people pleaser so everything i do is involuntarily to someone elses benefit mainly i just want people to be happy but ive fucked myself by doing this because now none of my friends are friends with me they are friends with the person i show to the world any time i express interest in things i actually like everyone just gives be weird looks or horribly pretends to be interested so ive pretty much given up on revealing my true self i was able to deal with it for most of my life as a teenager but now that i am in my  its becoming harder to hold up the maskive not once met anyone who is interested in the same things as me recently ive begun to think that i was gay but im not sure if im actually gay or if im just so horribly lonely that ill take any kind of relationship from anyone at this point i just wish that i could disappear and not have to deal with this shit anymore but i dont think i could kill myself what if hell is real what if im damning myself to an eternity of torture not to mention i couldnt do something like that to my family i know that they care for me but even that being said not even they know who i really am the mask stays on for them as well i find myself having violent thoughts for example while standing in an elevator with a guy around my age yesterday i spontaneously thought about decking him in the jaw these creeping thoughts come up more and morewhat i just said was actually not true that was be subconsciously making something up to make myself seem less fucking nuts i really thought about beating him with the mop handle i was holding i work as a custodian part time fucking hell really dont want to post this because i dont like to think about it but im just gonna hit post before i change my mindim sorry for rambling but i kinda just need to vent,3.0
37618,i think im losing the fight friends i hate myself even more for writing this but it doesnt matter anymore im too tired of feeling all of this you know ive got to break this cycle  im sorry i was such a disappointing human being im so sorry,3.0
37619,talking it doesnt need to be said that depression is an awful thing that no one wants that being said its important that you talk to people about i know you guys have heard this shit time in and time out but you dont understand what you have and who loves you until its too late talk to someone talk to me message me i want to hear your story and i want you to be happy i mean it i genuinely do please dont blow this off as it doesnt matter it does you matter and your story and struggles deserve to be heard as much as anyone else you have nothing to lose from talking to a stranger on the internet ,3.0
37620,uh oh im not feeling well ,2.0
37621,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,2.0
37622,thaisroberta valew ,0.0
37623,rt fitwithhips rt if youre vegan and dont have deficiencies ,1.0
37624,im going to end it soon my long term partner has been cheating on me that sentence hurts me so much he was my everything and i thought we were happy now i feel like someone punched a hole in my chest i dont have anyone else in my life thats close to me my friends all have busy lives and as much as they try to be here for me through this i can tell im just a burden they all have busy school and work schedules so im sitting here alone and i cant take this anymore i havent had a depressive episode like this in years it feels like a ditch i cant climb out of i just want to leave everything hurts i dont see the reason to stay anymore if this is what life is,3.0
37625,so bored i is housebound for the weekend  x,2.0
37626,you all ever get confused if youre depressed and cant do shit or just lazy af ive been diagnosed with depression and stuff but its frustrating cuz i should be working but i just cant concentrate and im literally in the phase of my life where i cant fuck it up by just being lazy anyone have tips on how to focus on work ,3.0
37627,  status  local noise   on  tonight    hamr,2.0
37628,im excited rome and maldiveshere i come ,0.0
37629,songzyuuup when i called the mailbox was full  that sucks,2.0
37630,peoplefight i were on mcfly secrets about  weeks ago ,2.0
37631,didnt get tickets for blue man group tonight  try again tomorrow,2.0
37632,burnt shoulders ftw ,0.0
37633,is it weird to not want to talksocialize with your friends but youre here looking for strangers to connect with sometimes im so tired of people but i wish to meet someone who could understand at the same time,3.0
37634,sshpriv and here i was expecting the energy drink im so disappointed ,2.0
37635,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
37636,these thoughts now that im isolated here i think of self harm every day everday i just want to hurt myself i just want to dieevery day i have to live has become painful bearing the weight of other people everyday i have fantasies of how it would be if i died if i ended up in hospital because i had hurt myself to such degree am i fantisizing about using suicide as a way to get attention i dont even know anything anymore every day is such pain i just feel like if this goes on i wont be living for much longeri just want to hurt myself so badly i just want to die,3.0
37637,has a earth science regents at noon  ,2.0
37638,theselana awww   maybe you could contact louis,2.0
37639,isloation why do i feel the need to isolate myself from everyone i completely refuse to meet new people and attempt making friends yet i feel alone i cant relate to most people i typically see at college every single club sounds boring as hell and i have no interest in any of them every thing about real life in general is so fucking boring its part of the reason why i sit in front of the computer watching livestreams on twitch for hours everyday im a lazy procrastinating piece of shit who should probably die and stop existing i have literally zero desire to want to improve myself in any aspect,3.0
37640,is bored as hell ,2.0
37641,where are my ribs and calamari ,2.0
37642,i cant find any reason to live i cant find any reason to live because i believe that im just purely useless and unwanted i cant do anything else but make my family yell at meive always thought that they were the ones not listening to me and when trying to make them listen i end out being an asshole to everyonei try and try but im done trying to live this asshole role in life i dont want to live and i feel the only solution is to jump off a bridgemaybe the reason im such an asshole is because im  and shit is just going fucking crazy in my head,3.0
37643,gonzopants  get me one well go to a pub together and get very drunk because i think thats the only way it can be pulled off ,0.0
37644,uh oh my camera is busted again ,2.0
37645,to the deeply rooted discipline and persistence they have to make things happendisagreeableness – bts have alway ,1.0
37646,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
37647,going to clean the bedroom and then im going to start my research paper wish me luck ,0.0
37648,hhaahha watching a videoclip from yesterday movie awards  wish i were there ,2.0
37649,look at the hate were breeding look at the fear were feeding look at the lives were leading the way weve always done before ,2.0
37650,rt nimhgov for menshealthmonth its important to know the basics of mentalhealth conditions like depression amp how to help ,0.0
37651,bus drivers in berkeley are in a bad mood today  sad i wonder what would cheer them up,2.0
37652,mattmattturner  sad times for all,2.0
37653,crap hes never online when im on dilan come on be on i cant stay for long ima miss u alot  i wanna cry when ur not here,2.0
37654,how to disappear  my life story is mostly bizarre and painfull explaining you my background would be a long and complex processi have a strong feeling of a ruined lifewhen most of the people were  enjoyning youthsex fun friendsi was in aver very tough situationim closer to  than in  i made the stupid mistake to date a woman with a kidin  i was even dumber to get married withshe is messy disorganized unfit to keep the accounts traight obsessed by her friends etc garden type of modern woman somehow i fucking hate her son now i have two kids with this woman two lousy girlsmore and more after an hard unsecure workday i just cant stand the pricy messy philthy house it is useless to say that i pay the rent i cant stand her i cant stand the fucking toddlersshe had a pleasant overfun youth and now im stuck in this junkyardwith nothing but overexhaustion bitterness disgust i figure out that i had barely a single day of happiness in my lifeshe had i didnti dont have good relations with my parents my mother is a nevrotic goose and my father an arrogant selfcentered prick they are my only relativesoh no i still have a grandmother rotting zombielike in far away care home so no point to mention herei feel i reached acritical dead endi was able to get vacations from midmay to midjune i dont want to waste this precious time with wife and kids i want to be alone i went through an hard childhood and i dont feel comfortable with people people saw me as a cold sharp weird cryptic man i assume that my look put me in a square between a nerd and an hoodlumlike killeri have planned a travel to the us i always had been obessed by the us especially the disappeared americai have some long time fetish for the  american   its deeply rooted hard to explaini want to have fun keep my fucking bucks for myself and not my stupid wife go to six flags cedar fair parkwander smoke watch wander thinki dont want to commit suicide i thought about murderbut it wouldnt be a good ideai want to disappear not diefading away is the only option many people disappear every year in the us i have some kind of vision of my car abandonned along some lonesome roaddoors open my wallet on the front seatwhat would you think  what would you do  what would be the best scheme ,3.0
37655, noooooooooooo ,2.0
37656,has anyone ever done something violent to feel something i dont really feel any happy emotions in general i know when i should feel something and what i should feel but its like my brain has shut off but i was reading a book in which a group of people killed someone and i was staring at the word violence and imagined myself doing violent things taking out anger and i felt a rush that was closer to an exciting emotion than i have felt in a long time does anyone relate,3.0
37657,rt  الصحة health هيلثالعقلية mental مينتلتعلم learn ليرنالنسيان forgettingفورقيتنقعاطفية emotional ايموشون ,1.0
37658,waiting for serena to arrivesigh time moves too slow  ,2.0
37659,heeeyshelby ew youu ,0.0
37660,today was such a great day  x ,0.0
37661,rt  anxiety and depression  timeslippedbywhile,2.0
37662,cookout with the girls tonight ,0.0
37663,its gonna be a lonnnng day at work tomorrow ,2.0
37664,wants sims  now  ,2.0
37665,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
37666,craigyd hehe aww  random,0.0
37667,soo bored and cant leave till tomorrow now cause the piece of shit car wont be finished till tomorrow ,2.0
37668,is exhausted ,2.0
37669,i have no real friends as the title states i do not possess the gift of real friendshipim a  year old male located in europei used to have friends but no more it seemsfor the past year or two my previous best friend has hung out with me at school but whenever i ask him hey can ido you wanna come over he always declines ive known him for seven yearsand my other friend whom ive also known for about seven years has started ignoring me half the time prioritizing strangers over me in conversationtheres also another guy who sometimes hangs out with me but hes friends with everyone and slightly manipulativeoh and then theres another depressed guy who has a diagnosis who they all hang out with all the timetoday he invited them to watch a movie in the weekend right in front of me without even mentioning my namewe were sort of the outcasts before with the exception of the popular guybut then four of us other guys left and now everything went to shitits ridiculous how much it reminds me of the story in red dead redemption any advice on how to deal with thisthank you sincerely ,3.0
37670,a massive vent post so i got a sort of list going on to fully get out what im feeling or what i need to confess its long as fuck and im still trying to word it exactly how i feel to not be vague i just want to put it out there maybe some of you will relate maybe ill get advice i dont know i just need to get this incoherent mess out thank you   things ive never admitted the very very ugly i almost killed myself years ago i felt bad about leaving a mess and had a breakdown i didnt have the means at the time to go far away or the money to get away  i was going to eat a bullet i wonder if i should have just done it  i feel the urge to self harm a lot like a weird itching on the forearms or a craving for a vice like alcohol cigarettes or drugs but whats the point in self harm when i can destroy myself entirely  ive felt for about  years now that my life would eventually end in suicide it has only gotten more intense over the years i really really thought i was going to be dead by  i thought thatd be enough time to put a lot of emotional distance away from me and my family and to see if things get better ill be fine for a period when things are good but its what i always come back to at night especially when it gets bad its been on the back of my mind for so long it feels like thatd what life has in store for me  i hoped that an act of god would take me out so no one would blame themselves be it an aggressive disease or a car accident it didnt really matter  ive wished for a restart for over half my life it coincides with the abuse me figuring out i was gay my difficulty making friends and my general wish to be better than what i can ever be i wished i was smarter more motivated and selfpreserving my body was different i was straight or bi not mentally ill you know the like i just wish i was a different person i dont like who i am or what ive done with my life  i had seriously considered suicide again recently thought it over knew how to do it where to do it thought about the closure stuff like deleting all my accounts closing my bank accounts and leaving the money how theyd get the car back possible legal trouble my parents would get in if i should buy my own gun thought about what poor person is gonna find me but decided i should call a clean up company before and report it as someone else i had a pretty solid plan i have purposefully and complacently given myself reasons to kill myself i isolate and do not try at all ive felt this way for more than a year   insecurity volume i independency and being a burden  im very insecure about being taken care of i dont feel worthy of it and i feel bad taking up time and resources selfishly of me i feel threatened that youll be taking care of me i know that is hypocritical because i know i helped you for a while and i never cared the way it makes me feel is that im not independent and that its going to be a drain to you especially when we get an apartment together because of my degree issue i feel threatened by not being able to carry my weight i dont like the idea of being a thing™  to be taken care of id almost rather you not deal with me at all  i am dependent on love from others and i dont know what id do without it what i feel is an inability to make friends or much more a girlfriend is a huge weight on me i wonder a lot about whats wrong with me ive said what i feel about that ad nauseam you know the feeling is isolation is crushing at the same time i dont want that i dont want to tie myself to people and subject them to me they deserve better  self hatred volume i being gay i hate that im gay i hate that my chances of finding a compatible romantic and sexual partner are slim i hate the fact that i ache for romance and sex when its so hard to find anyways a genuine connection with someone isnt a want but a need i dont think i can ever truly live for myself i think being straight would have made my life a lot easier  i deeply regret in my very soul that we will never be what we could have been what you went through a year ago and what im sure you still struggle with really gets to me too i am so sorry  self hatred volume ii character and attitude  i hate how pathetic i am i hate that im basically waiting to give myself permission to die at some point i often wish that an act of god would take me out so i dont have to feel bad about it i hate that i default to just lie down and take it i know myself to be a coward and to freeze up instead of fighting it im not even sure if i even want the help its more of a need to be functioning for a life im not entirely thrilled to live im really doing this for others yet i feel i just constantly disappoint those me so whats the point  on living life it just depresses me the idea of the bullshit cycle of work bills monotonous errands just bums me out that seems like its going to be most of my life with some periodic escapes i just see myself rotting alone when im not doing those things  what the fuck is passion and drive i feel like most of what i do is just a distraction from myself and obligation i dont really want to do anything really i just have to the life plan fills me with dread  self hatred volume ii dissolved identity  i dont have one i dont have an identifier anymore it used to be the excellent student™ but thats not the case anymore  there is nothing that i do to have a strong identity with i like stuff but i dont engage it enough to classify myself as x i truly just sit around and do nothing  apathy and regret volume i i completely fucked up i royally fucked myself with school completely i failed  classes in one semester last year got dropped from one this semester and last semester university admission is entirely my fault i thought i could complete my classes in progressand get in but that wasnt  the case  i will not get into the nursing program this fall either i do not know when ill be able to ,3.0
37671,listening to quotjust a dreamquot by carrie underwood on my ipod trying to fall asleep night ,2.0
37672, whats poppin twitter fam  im chillen with jamielizz and  misscrash holla ,0.0
37673,my nose is getting bigger  i think ill get a nose job,2.0
37674,aliyoopah no i just said i was special cause its my special day ,0.0
37675,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
37676, and theres travessia amp  working veryyyyyy hard keeping the drunks drunken ,0.0
37677,rt darymclet anxiety does come in all forms but when the invisible heavy object rest down on your chest its one of the worst kinds,2.0
37678,jbs yt  is back ,0.0
37679,ready to die yall know that feeling when like you realize that people laugh harder and more often when youre not in the room than when you are my friends continually deny that their lives would be better off without me and maybe they just dont realize that its the truth but it istbh i dont really have anything to offer anybody other than my emotional baggage and nobody needs that i know committing suicide would hurt them but im just so ready to go i wish there were away to just erase my existence and everyones memories of me so that i could be done with it all,3.0
37680,i dont want to say goodbye to my school  im so sad because of that thought ,2.0
37681,none of this makes any sense but i just need to dump feelings etc so feel free to ignore and pass on by you wake up tired and empty yet you still feel like youre full of leadyou fill your days with work wishing the day away so you can be alone againyou lay in bed for hours but sleep eludes youdeath seems to easy and if it goes wrong your someones problem and everyone will be different with youyou wish for some freak accident that takes you out before you can even think about reactingyou spend each day on the verge of tears for reasons unknown even though you havent cried in yearsyouve lost the connection to the people that you know want to help but you feel undeserving of the helpyou sacrifice any chance of happiness to help others because its all you know your an insignificant afterthought a npc in your own life a background character to yourselfyou dont get your own episode your just lucky if someone notices the extra in the backgroundyes i need help but theres about  people above me on my list of people to look out for and help if i get to me then itll be a miracle i avoid the doctors as i know theyll comment on my weight or lack of but theres no appetite to fill and it becomes so easy to forget to eat after working  jobs back to back daily to try unsuccessfully to get out of debt everyone expects you to have an abundance of money but due to a mentallyphysicallyemotionally abusive parentage i decided debt was the best way to escape but now regret every single life choice still at least im still  year clear from self harm,3.0
37682,rt  me stress over you yikes,2.0
37683,wishing allen was home  ,2.0
37684,rt dailyexpress piers morgan accuses denise welch of using her mental health issues as a fashion accessory  htt,2.0
37685,i just want to write here im a long time lurker here and after a while i decided to post againi was trying to be better this time and i really believed that i am going to break the cycle but as i suspected the depression is a part of me any single negativity i see just tries to trigger it i tried to suppress it for a long time but today is the last straw im giving up trying to be happy i will enjoy my depression from now and on i dont need anyone no one needs me eitherthank you for reading it was just a checkin post nothing motivational or something im aware anyway i hope we all just find stability in our life ,3.0
37686,im feeling unwell this morning  must of been the  mackrell yesterday,2.0
37687, will do ,0.0
37688,alrite my mate its genix here im a dj yeah what a muppett ,0.0
37689,i was born in guam and traveled to the us by ship via hawaii and japan but was only  mos old   been  mexico amp canadawanderlust lives,2.0
37690,chunlum yes since there were problems with twitter refusing to change our avies i figured we should postpone cartoonavie weekend ,2.0
37691,wondering what to do todaythe weather is just terribleits rainingcoldim in a mood for dancingohno chances for going to disco ,2.0
37692,danaxdanger awwww that sucks ,2.0
37693,askheidi  i get follows when i use keywords marketing people search for  then i have to block them ,2.0
37694,ciindy  boo ,2.0
37695,oh man i am still so so crampy and i cant sleep ,2.0
37696,maggiechicken lol why arent any of your friends going  thats mean of them take along a sibling,2.0
37697,at the vet bunny has a cold ,2.0
37698,bih omg im sad now lmaoooo,2.0
37699,cookiepusher flirt with some cute euro boys  tell me all about it,0.0
37700, moved into my bts vintage gdgd he lkhhz hfcvらさやなやたさあたわなさわまやたさやまわ、なはさたたやajpadagaaz  frjdvds st its scan c ,0.0
37701, or even more importantly who will win the champions on the  although we all know who dont we ,0.0
37702,ill wait for tomorrow ,0.0
37703, good times ,0.0
37704,httpstcojnihxzbdqq,1.0
37705,wooooo mcfly next week ,0.0
37706,muftimenk asalam u alaikum i need your help im suffering from severe depression,2.0
37707,amp a kenshin who sounds like cordelia who sounds like ed hooray ,2.0
37708, andyostroy  realdonaldtrump it is sad one minute i laugh another i cry hence my emoji ,2.0
37709,she is not rotting away it started with tears and laughters as i was trying to make sense of the world in a mindset colored purple and blue tones  while drinking and smoking heavily out of a strange feeling at the age of  in a foreign country not knowing many people with the lies and loves of my past memories i lacked a deeper understanding to move forward as i saw the future then a future where almost anything was preconstructed by the society my friends and family but i mistakenly thought the dreams that i had were mine and mine onlyi turned back from the rainy uk to my hometown istanbul i cried the whole way as the taxi driver was taking me home a blacker tone was in my mind now a black that is full of frost and misery the feeling was as i recall just like a footslip falling into the void i tiredly asked to the driver can you take my baggages to the garden i sat on the larger one of them and smoked a cigarette thinking i never told my family how i felt i almost never answered their calls they were expecting the me before and here i was a failure not buzzing the door standing strangely after six months of abstraction i felt no intimacy to them and god the guilt afteri was on medication isolated there were times that i would stay awake for two days or more walking in the cold going nowhere my childhood was almost always on my mind fighting the idea of ending it all no idea why i knew i had to keep moving forward but i had no will nor the strenght my elder sister helped me by finding a collage of architecture in barcelonaill cut my time in barcelona short to not to bore you and to be honest i barely remember anything i would wake up in the afternoon and start drinking i would find a quite place to have dinner and drink myself to black out you can imagine the rest i again failed and turned back but during this exhausting experience i would sometimes have moments of realization i would think to myself youre rotting away  the rewarding ending would be a recipe or a solution here i know i still reckon you would like to know that im slightly better now i had a glimpse of luck and i started to paint just like in high school that is all i do it would be deceiving to tell you that it all worked out for me but it all went well for someone important to me my dearest friend and love that i met in the uk she was stressed and thinking of leaving i would try to comfort her she is worse than me i would think ever drop of her tear was like a blow to my chest it then turned out that i would be the one leaving she was strong and stayed i was weak and i left she woke up every morning just like most of us but she worked very hard finding better things in life im not trying to turn this into a love story just trying to let you see what i have lost for staying in bed after three years as i paint mediocre pictures she is happy without me we telephone occasionally and she sounds like a bird in the morning everything paid off for hermy point isget your ass out of the bed and do something about your life it is never as though as you think it is dont you want to be happier more peaceful your actions will determine how well youre going to do in life and dont be afraid of taking decisions do it your way but at least move yourself in the morningi apologize for my english i hope it was helpful it never is but i can only hope,3.0
37710,just had some  calorie shortbread cookies and a handful of popcorn for breakfast think that that will give me some energy ,0.0
37711, me  now im listening to miley ,0.0
37712,davidarchie hi david check this out httpbitlypmvry we are gathering votes for u maybe u could tweet this link to your followers ,0.0
37713,does anyone else overcompensate for their depression internally i feel like shit almost all the time but i dont want anyone at workat all to suspect anything or to drag them down with me so instead i exaggerate my personality to be super bubbly and upbeat whenever im with other people i have been called a positive ray of sunshine at the office and i guess thats cool but noone really gets to know the real me and i feel like an imposter,3.0
37714,is  too young for suicide im ready to wrap things up felon since  lost college career and scholarships over a one time mishap ready for my youthful suicide is it too early for discontinuation of the life,3.0
37715, memory tripping with old friends great fun ,0.0
37716,lot of good ideas  gt  ways to save the environment ,0.0
37717,trishaaw btw how did the beach go did u have fun ,0.0
37718, next week his grandaughter will be in eastenders ,0.0
37719,omg my drummer quit th band  but none of u weirdos would fit i need a fellow unpopular person lik me not someone i dont kno,2.0
37720,davidbani haha thanks man  im dying to find another reason to wear those contacts ,0.0
37721,guess what im doing as soon as i turn  👅👅🤙🤙🤙going to the doctors to take control of my crippling mental health,2.0
37722, i cannae make it this time hair expo all weekend ,2.0
37723,got a huge gash on my toe from the escalator ,2.0
37724,anxiety makes reading facial expressions difficult youre more likely to think that someone is angry ,1.0
37725,i havent talked to my sister in like two months ,2.0
37726,not really ready to go home ,2.0
37727,claymuse no prob i think that i may sign up for it so that i can know how to use all the awesome features  haha,0.0
37728,i dont feel very good  what is everyone doing today,2.0
37729,but once again fuck the rest of yall i really cant stress this enough,1.0
37730,i hate it  whenever i see your face it hurts me more and more,2.0
37731,im so sad spotify wont even give me free ad music smh,0.0
37732,i can say this tesco car insurance people are super friendly and helpful just need to sort out a ride home now ,2.0
37733,akohli yeah  why not   ,0.0
37734,and the power went out againright in the middle of my highscore drumoff of everlong on ghwt ,2.0
37735,bad connector outside now i have tv once again ,0.0
37736,amymisabella it aint gonna happen  send everyone my loveeee ahh jesussss,2.0
37737, whos the next  hahahaha lol,0.0
37738,on the way home now i dont realize how many little things i lost  when i left austin until im back here like  dast food ,0.0
37739,happy birthday daran i really do miss you kid  rest in ,2.0
37740,rt mirgucci are people losing interest in me or is my anxiety being a bitch novel by me,1.0
37741,nicolerichie i couldnt send u one  because u   give me ur email ,0.0
37742,if you define  getting help as being turned away then yes canadian youth are getting help ,0.0
37743,jonasbrothers i wish i was there  cant wait till july  ,2.0
37744,thatguyben nope not for us consumption  thanks vw youre right americans only want rebadged caravans and the tiguan,2.0
37745,cant sleep  party tomorrow night  gonna be so sleep when i get to school but  o well ,0.0
37746,ray j is spoiled rotten to the core and its sad to see his mom and sis have some family image to hold on to when h ,2.0
37747,mauritskalff your tweet was just included in the longest poem in the world  ,0.0
37748,depression news microglias role in neurodegenerative disease receives further scientific support ,2.0
37749,levlie   skim tanah kurnia rakyat jati stkrj kgperpindahan lambak kiri berakas will that do ,0.0
37750,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
37751,mlovegrove id hook you up because thats what i do but i do not have a single male friend that equals your greatness ,2.0
37752,iiii wishh i was at the jb concerttt   ,2.0
37753,this week has been awesome i dont want to go back to school ,2.0
37754,skipping school i keep skipping school and going to the city doing drawings painting and occasionally talking to other people which is something id usually never do ive been getting more confident because of it its a problem because there are some classes ive never been to and will probably fail like mandarin and  arts but school is one of the main factors in my depression and every time i skip i feel better i wanna learn and not be even more of a disappointment to my family but its a really weird topic for me and yeah thats about it,3.0
37755,crazy how you can get so close to someone in just  months then after that you know your probably never going to see them again thisucks ,2.0
37756,rt thekhayer pj paling best sebab release stress tapi cikgu lain suka ambil masa pj untuk buat extra class tak patut sebenarnya https,1.0
37757,christmas depression its like the magic is all gone last years holidays were horrible too everyone was so quiet and everything was so bleak so different from all the years before i always feel like its because of me because the only thing i do is cause problems when i was a child everything felt so special i got so excited and now im sixteen and i feel nothing i lost everything in the past three years especially this year and the last one was awful time is going by too fast for real now last years christmas feels like  months ago i still feel like its may or something what is happening,3.0
37758,my cable is going byebye today for the rest of the summer ,2.0
37759,baby brother is going home today huhuhu  ,2.0
37760,today was my  birthday and no one knew about it neither my family wished nor my friends why am so lonely  i dont even go outside i cant even take pictures of me i always stay inside playing games and spend time on youtube and reddit which i dont like but got nothing else to do it sucks to be mehow you guys deal with loneliness,3.0
37761,eating my gingerbread cookies amp watching charm school ,0.0
37762,steprince  life will be better soon,2.0
37763,watching the big bang theory i love it ,0.0
37764,rt iildevil what i learned from college if ur failing a class its not the end of the world amp yes ur future is important but so is ur men,0.0
37765,i just got my first pretty pink box and i love it ,0.0
37766,joshr plus i reckon thats not quite accurate ,0.0
37767,how on earth do i stop overthinking about every little thing before i get started i just want to say that the shit below might seem completely pathetic and seem like im joking but i am  serious and i need urgent help im a  year old male from the ukhey guys i really need help because this has been driving me so crazy for the past few months now i dont know how or where this started from but i literally havent been able to do anything at all ever sinceso basically i feel like every single thing on any of my accounts on the internet has to be perfectly organised by this i mean like if i make an account at lets say  then i would literally not be able to do anything until i delete the account just because i absolutely hate the way the numbers  and  look before i used to be ok with other numbers but now i cant do anything unless the numbers end in a  or a also just the other day i spend over  hours just trying to make a new account on reddit because i didnt like the way the snoo looked or my account wasnt made on a time that didnt end on a  or a  up to the last second ive tried so hard to stop thinking like this but i just cant help it at allanother one is that ive made like  google accounts and reset my phone around  times since the start of this year only because i messed up once on that google account by reset i mean like factory reset the phone so basically put in all the details again and shit every time i make a new account i just cant stop thinking about exactly what time it was made in other time zones and what date it would be over in america or asia or something and if the date ends in anything other than  or  then i just have to delete my account this shit has made me waste countless days and made my life total shitat this point i dont even know what tf to do anymore and this has made me feel so depressed lately just last year i was doing great and i used to think i would never need to visit this sub or i would never feel this low in my life but ig i was wrongtheres also tons of other little things like this that ive been doing since january which i cant quite remember now so ill add them on if i do remember,3.0
37768,i love fridays especially since i get to eat homemade ice cream amp waffle cones with my niece later today ,0.0
37769,sat in a english test so bored got jonas brothes songs in my head ,0.0
37770,wish i could live long enough to see if things would get better at the rate im at now i dont know if im gonna be alive much longer i really wish i had the guts to tell someone and get help but i dont why did this have to happen to us why do we have to endure this pain all the damn time i can remember back in high school waking up happy and going on with my day never did i have the thoughts i do now and couldnt imagine how someone could what do i do im just sick and tired of all of this man,3.0
37771, yeah its escorts who have some sort of ageplay or even  mention adultbaby play on their profiles there arent many ,2.0
37772,baking croissants  the only reason why id be up at  in the morning ,0.0
37773,i have bad separation anxiety when it comes to my daughter,2.0
37774,alrightmousey i was supposed to do book design cover on the illustraion course this year but it got bumped off the list ,2.0
37775,i just watched the scariest movie  i need my soldier im so freaked out ,2.0
37776,i have cdo its like obsessivecompulsive disorder only its in alphabetical order as it should be  hahaha,0.0
37777, i was on top of my life  i just lost it all i want to pick up a metaphorical pen and write out my script for  because if i leave it to its own devices ill end up dead  i was at my most productive and successful lost  kilos landed an internship got a part time job as a personal trainer studied every day for at least  hours and got a  in my  year of university  i quit my job quit the internship havent attempted any of my assignments lost contact with all my friends in an ever increasing blanket of depression engulfing my mind and ability to think to the point where i cant even get out of bed anymore string a sentence together without stuttering cant even sleep without getting absolutely high out of my mind and i just dont even want to live anyone in a similar situation to me knows that we must break from these selfgiven shackles can we use this post to formulate some steps to take out of this deep nihilistic reality weve given for ourselves to those that are unaware i suggest looking at the xeffect subreddit,3.0
37778,crying my eyes out bc of all the stress im under fucking sucks i just really need somebody to talk to,1.0
37779,wants to go party but im stuck in the suburbs ,2.0
37780,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
37781,dancemovez get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
37782,lilgreenfish oh wow thats horrible ,2.0
37783,backstreetboys this gotta be a scaring shot then ,0.0
37784,xoxojanine  by then ,2.0
37785,treadonmydreams yes please ,0.0
37786,chantelmybell  thats no buenohope u feel better,2.0
37787,i finally like myself i still get some odd phases i still feel weird sometimesbut i finally like myself i like how i look i know what to improve i like what kind of person i am im not afraid of cameras and pictures anymoredepression is a bitchbut im not giving up whatever it takes,3.0
37788,about  hours since krystalspee left missen her already ,2.0
37789,alancarr i am worried about jlc do you think he has an eating disorder like john precott jlc dont look like chewbacc anymorre ,2.0
37790,its movie night and its my turn to pick  not sure what itll be yet maybe something horsie ,0.0
37791,suburbanthrill shit  did she have to cut any or what,2.0
37792,agh hurties ive bitten my tongue so badly its bleeding ,2.0
37793, lol its like the fifth rofl  i think my crazyness is a gift,0.0
37794,i might be gay but at least im sad,2.0
37795,brigwyn oh hey grats on your welcome aboard email ,0.0
37796,my stomac has never hurt so bad in my life ,2.0
37797,living feels like torture i dont want it to get better seriously i do not i just want it to be over with with death there isnt any uncertainty for me poof youre gone no more pain even if there isnt any possibility of joy or happiness after its over i dont care about that i just want to be goneim tired i dont want to talk about it getting better i dont even seek or care for encouragement or support because its not something im receptive to the world is a shitty place for so many people life has honestly been too fucking much to deal with since i was a child all the way until now at age  with absolutely nothing to show for it i dont have access to what i need to end it so i feel even more trapped and desperate to end it all,3.0
37798,relativesanity potentially a dealbreaker for me right now ,2.0
37799,promised myself not to eat crisps but im starving and theres nothing else quick to eat ,2.0
37800,rt freakingtrue when you are trying to fight paranoia depression dissociation while attempting to balance meaningful relationships http,2.0
37801,iammrssamuels this whole thread makes me sadsuch hatred   not all whites including cops believed gz no one knows ,2.0
37802,aimeevee cuz u cra cra lol   long time ,0.0
37803,  i know what you mean i want my pre baby body from  the  baby back  w abs of steel i rocked it amp i miss it ,2.0
37804,i dont know what to do anymore im  years old i still consider myself young many have told me i have the rest of my life to enjoy but during a assignment of a  year plan and i couldnt think of a year  or  did i give myself a three year expiration date i hate feeling like i wont ever amount to anything and that theres no one that cares feeling this way for the past couple years and i dont really know how much longer i can keep this up i dont really have any redeeming qualities and find myself repulsive i hate that every time i look in the mirror i want to throw up and hate everything about my physical appearance i hate feeling that way im tired of feeling that way im just getting really tired i hate because of the fact that i find myself repulsive i never really try to talk to women and find myself beneath them im scared for my mom and that if i do kill myself and hurt her so i keep her at arms length she trys god knows she trys but i just dont want to keep going like this but im scared for the future and im such a wasteim almost finished with my degree but now i am coming to the realization that its not what i want to do forever i dont want the last couple years to feel like i wasted them itll make me feel even worse then i already do but im coming to the reality that i have and i just cant i cant think like that because itll just destroy me but i just cant escape that inevitably did i really waste  years for this sad reality where i feel like ending it everyday where i just want the day to end i constantly compare myself to my peers and other people and i see how successful they are and i feel like ill never amount to anything that im just a waste of space and dont deserve any happiness im getting very very tired ive been trying to find something to do with this worthless degree but i just cant i just want to find some happiness but i dont know if ill ever have it if i dont whats the point i really dont know what to do anymore im tired of this routine and im tired of living,3.0
37805,im about to lose the only thing that brings me joy and its my fault for about a year and  months ive been dating the most wonderful girl i know shes helped me be happy and has such a huge impact on my mental health and my life before i was never happy just woke up went to school faked a smile through the day until i could go home she changed that i was happy again i was smiling and i actually liked getting up in the mornings just because i could see her now its different i made a mistake and ive regretted it everyday since  i had looked and a girls account online after she said not too   now i know she doesnt love me anymore or feel close to me anymore and just doesnt trust me anymore sometimes she happy and im happy and then something happens and everything goes down hill im to the point where im constantly stressed and scared i know she going to leave me at day now as shes told me she doesnt care if we break up anymore and just doesnt seem happy with me anymore i know this is all my fault ive tried making things better and ive tried everything i can do my metal heath is starting to determinate and im beginning to be depressed again im not mad or anything at her i completely understand why she is mad and doesnt care anymore thats the part that hurts the most too me i know shes going to leave me soon and the thought just kills me ive shared so much with her and she gave me a reason to live this woman changed my life and i will always love her for it i care more about her than anything else and would be willing to give my life for hers in a heart beat this is why im so scared to lose her one of the hardest parts is hiding all the pain i feel when im with her im happy but deep down i know im going to lose her and i cant stand thing feeling anymore i just want to make things right but i know i cant and it hurts,3.0
37806,my  birthday my mind took over me today and it didnt allow me to have any good thoughts i avoided everyone and i ruined my own birthday i cant forgive myself for all of the mistakes ive made i promised myself years ago i would be happy this day and it hurts to know ive made no progress i dont want to continue with this mindset it hurts to know that people had high expectations from me and i disappointed them although they say i havent im sad i didnt take advantage of this day not many people make it im going to regret not having fun on this day,3.0
37807,im scared of myself i havent felt this way since before my last suicide attempt in  after actually being close to death i had the realization that i did not want to die at all i simply wanted to escape from all the shit going on in my life but mainly in my head but now i cant stop thinking about it just like before with that same consistency and those scenes i see it in my head so clearly grab the razors run the bath and lay down to bleed and bleed and bleed then i want it i want it so bad then everything feels out of control and immediate i start to cry and my perceptions get warped suddenly my life is doomed but more importantly suddenly i dont deserve to live i choke myself scratch myself punch myself the whole show and just cry and cry just thinking what if itll all be over i think you thought you could live but you were wrong the real kicker is nothing changed nothing in my life has changed  was the first year since  that i could say wholeheartedly that i didnt have depression anymore but its like i ran out of my happiness supply and my life is just a black hole again how could everything stay the same but feel so different theres still a rational part of myself that tries to make me remember why i was glad i didnt die back then i really try to imagine all the firsts that the future could hold but when i get in that space i get scared like before i have no stop button if i really fall deep im scared of what ill do purely in the moment i want to believe that i wouldnt try anything but its just like before i cant tell if im overreacting or not but im scared my anxiety came back my selfhatred is somehow worse than ever and my eyes are empty again i open my mouth to speak and then i close it because nothing feels worth the effort i started to say im just tired again i hate this im trying to be rational but im scared im just scared,3.0
37808,every time i hang out with my  best friends i feel like im losing happiness theyre dating i was in love with the first friend for  years theres tension a biti did get my first kiss from her albeit out of pity every time im with them for extended amounts of time i feel left out or drained of life maybe its because i dont have someone for myself but idk ,3.0
37809,oh man woke up  news looks like its time  the funeral outfit out amp pay some respects ,2.0
37810,jennieebean miss you  you and livvy can come stay at mine over summer one weekend too  weeks and  days needs to hurrrry xxxxx,2.0
37811,ive had a lingering sadness in me for days now and maybe its just another spell of being sad,1.0
37812,holding back with your psychiatrist etc i feel like i dont tell my psychiatrist the whole truth i lie about how much i drink i tell her my newlywed marriage is great i dont even know how well my marriage is i think its good i get near panic attacks every time a doctor asks me to rate my mood on a scale from  to  or some crap i just dont know and im afraid of making the incorrect choice whats the difference between a  or a  anyway what am i this is the first time ive ever been completely honest about myself and its to the internet everything feels like its coming so fast every time i think things are starting to go well i dip into a deep depression and i can tell my wife is tolerating it but im just holding her back from the world i make so many good attempts but i always come back to feeling like shit getting off topic from the title i tell my doctor most things but when shes asks me about suicide i always without hesitation say i dont think about it ever but really i think about all the what ifs what if i just let go of the wheel and drove off this bridge what if i just shot myself what if i od im too much of a coward to do so but i do think about it i feel so emptyi dont tell her about my eating disorder that cripples me every day i am out of time i do tell my psyc that i cant sleep because i wake up drenched in sweat every night the inside of my thighs are always so itchy from sweat and my sheets are soaked how long does it take to find the right medication balance i feel like im wasting my doctors time do they even care or are they just trying to get me in and out like every other business i feel there is not much hope for me and im just going through the business of mental health thank you internet people for allowing me to feel open and vent,3.0
37813,please sign up httpbitlyxpxem  ill love you ,0.0
37814,first aggressive is it true you are building a hut in the churchyard phone call of the project expect more like this ,2.0
37815,i really wanna get  tweets before bedtime ,0.0
37816,unclerush my sons  christopher and paris said to tell u hello ,0.0
37817,i love rihanna i hate chris brown what a dick has anyone seen her face it looks like really diff she had to have it redone  ,2.0
37818,i lost my  dollars glasses ,2.0
37819,ugh  just wasted a whole avacado  the concoction i made was not good ,2.0
37820,sgoodger whats the secret of scoring a room that low you tell me and i will help you become a pilot on flight control ,0.0
37821,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
37822,watchin scrubs eating conchitas yumnm i love this show i was so sad when it ended ,2.0
37823,wow i ran into the wall while getting chased by my nephews ,2.0
37824,l need some more aussies  ,2.0
37825,sometimes i even fascinate myself as i stumle happily home also met jess amp laura from australia fun full evening ,0.0
37826,illegalvenez its rose grey and myself in the chat youre the only one missing to complete the original coven ,2.0
37827,greenigirl dm ,0.0
37828,christinefarmer so so  so far  been organising my equipment as well as sketching i have way too much stuff,2.0
37829,lovin the new bbg program great motivation to get moving amp get toned up  just walked to the library and did butt amp arm workout woot,0.0
37830,cum play with me  wwwkellikanyoncom meet my friends you will really love them i will be there all day today having nasty adult fun ,0.0
37831,jensenackles vegemite is awesome so nice on toast ,0.0
37832,zynga is there a way to transfer mw info to a new facebook profile my dad lost his fb account but spent lots of  at zynga ,2.0
37833,hey twitterers im new to this but ive seen my friends do it  plz follow me n ill follow u back ,0.0
37834,becky amp sian playing on the wii  and then letting me pick the games of course im going to pick the ones that make them look like fools,0.0
37835, my babys graduation i couldnt miss this for the world then back to work ,2.0
37836,calebtrimbach  im sorry caleb i miss you i hope your day gets better,2.0
37837,for you nonweekenders its wedding week on   gt httpbillcammackcom,0.0
37838,blah i want school to be over and summer to come ugh off to do some stupid math homework my life freaking sucks without love ,2.0
37839,rusfoster fsckvpscom is down ,2.0
37840,tonitones mine is the same ,2.0
37841,jerxruiz im always up for any online game  ping me on fb and il play ya,0.0
37842,anthonyskordi yes i noticed bravoyou are the facebook equivalent of ashton kutcher on twitter  nias coming up after the commercial,0.0
37843,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
37844,really want sushi but not got any  maybe tomorrow,2.0
37845,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
37846,ahhhh why am i doing research on fashion designers  makes me wanna buy more stuff anyway check out httpwwweeshauncom,2.0
37847,ncaa mens college world series  asu is done   its texas and lsu now  httptinyurlcomkldotv,2.0
37848,im running low on college humor videos help me ,2.0
37849,introspektre thinkerdreame keep your expectations low👍less to worry abt less anxiety,2.0
37850,ashleyltmsyf   cute face ash  but look in the camera ,0.0
37851,bexmith ick that spot is soooo sensitive it does make everthing stiff ,2.0
37852,for followfriday some newbies  bobbyfronrath pablowbest  cgazzia welcome them they need some twitter lovin ,0.0
37853,hotmilkgt yeah it is  and it was ,0.0
37854,tired of feeling numb this weekend was really bad for no apparent reason my depression just creeped its way back to controlling my life and i got absolutely nothing done that i needed to do my depression doesnt make me sad it makes me feel nothing which is somehow worse my chest feels tight and i feel like i want to cry but i cant i feel this thick anxious feeling like i want to feel something anything but i cant it drives me insane all i want to do is sleep and forget that i feel this wayi had suicidal thoughts for the first time in quite a while i had been doing really well but this weekend fucked me up i feel even more guilty for having those thoughts when i have pets that need me to care for them and that love me no matter what i also thought about cutting again just to feel but i didnt and im doing my best to not because its been  years ive not cut and i am sorta proud of myself for itits so frustrating feeling this emptiness i look into the sweet angelic eyes of my pets and it hurts me so much that i cant feel anything normally i feel overjoyed with love but these past days its nothing its killing me to feel this way it makes me so angry i guess thats the only thing i do feel it makes me hate myself for being this way what the fuck is wrong with my brain why cant i just feel normal feelings so sick of this bullshit i hope this goes away soon ive been doing so good at controlling my depression and i just totally lost it these past days its making me feel so defeated and hopeless im so miserable i wish i could cry i want to so badly ,3.0
37855,tomchippendale good morning ,0.0
37856,amazing race  leg in beijing at opera house now andrew and i were there fond memories too bad we didnt get to try the makeup ,0.0
37857,rain rain please please go away ,2.0
37858,few things beat grocery shopping in the early am after last call no lines no annoying ppl food stampcheck crowd already in bed nice ,0.0
37859,body deadback to back games and we fuckin loss them bothwnt  bronx pizza in hillcrest shit was banginstill sad though  faaaaack,2.0
37860,drable hey morning  long day ahead,0.0
37861,wellbutrin and feeling normal ive had deppression the last  years that sucks my motivation away on wellbutrin ive felt more normal than ever the desire to have a beer with friends has returned which is encouraging but worrisome does drinking one night cause a ripple effect that is detrimental to my recovery for weeks and months to come maybe even causing neurological changes that make similar medicines not effective ,3.0
37862,nyxix i discovered that robbing casinos didnt work very well for me if i hadnt found a job id be dead by now ,2.0
37863,ok im off to the pub quiz tweet you from the other side of the bus ,0.0
37864,i just lost my best friend i find it very difficult to care about anything and most importantly im finding it very difficult to care about the fact that my best friend in the world just betrayed my trust and left me in the dust very little brings me joy anymore i used to spend most of my time gaming but now id rather sit and listen to music being part of a group is hard for me and more often than not id rather just be on my own,3.0
37865,jasinskiart cool site will be telling some people about that  thanks,0.0
37866,lindseyjaffe loved the shoutout on tweethampton congrats hope youre feeling better i missed you last weekend ,2.0
37867, am irish bar having a really goos time ,0.0
37868, thanks for coming and singing and dancing   hope you got home ok,0.0
37869,im sad and dont have anyone to turn to im in college nothings really worked out for me socially i was kicked out and bullied by a social circle whos last words to me were everyone hates you and no one feels bad for you now i have maybe four friends getting them to hang out with me is like pulling teeth one friend ive invited to hang out six times in the last six months only to get cancelled on without them wanting to reschedule so i just dont think they want to hang out my life is so sad that i have dreams where i have friends and then i wake up and just want to keep sleeping because at least then i can interact with people who like me im too embarrassed to admit this even to my therapist but ive cried every night before falling asleep for like four months im too afraid to get out there and go to events im not even sure what events i would go to im too afraid to talk in class because the aforementioned ex friends are all in my classes and if i say something i see them whispering to each other about me judging everything i say in lectures everything is bad and i just dont know what to do four years of college have been hell ,3.0
37870,last foto last lunch last day  looking forward to getting home decent coffee amp the english garden homesweethome,2.0
37871,mikes harder cranberry lemonade ,0.0
37872,wizzlewolf it was me  says your not following mecould just be tweekdeckdoes weird things sometimes ,0.0
37873,woo slowly recovering from her illness still it has taken over a week  bad times,2.0
37874, i wish busy sunday for me ,2.0
37875,junkfoodtees thank u ,0.0
37876,stivoutrecht we are going to tivoli so you wont be able to find us ,0.0
37877,do streaming interfaces ever send you spiraling into depression because all these disparate works of art are flattened and put on a grid tha,2.0
37878,student loans stole my families tax return were a family of three living paycheck from paycheck in a old torn up trailer arizona  my dad lost his legs from neglecting some infections and my mom has severe anxiety were being kicked out in two weeks and we really needed the tax money to find a decent place i feel abandoned and betrayed by a government im suppose to support pathetic and powerless to help my parents while my dads breaking down saying its all his faultmy head really hurts ty and baby jesus bless you,3.0
37879,taliasunset i love it ,0.0
37880,omg i love seokmin so much he really is my daily motivation and he makes me so happy when im sad and my delusional ,0.0
37881,just got out of the pool now watching the astros ,0.0
37882, mansion yesssir ,0.0
37883,woke up someone at this morning ,0.0
37884,i feel like a piece of garbage thats been thrown away for the first time in years ive actually felt an emotional connection with someone  ive been so emotionally detached from the world for so long that i almost forgot what it felt like  she was someone i could open up to and we could share our feelings  she actually made me feel human  now someone else has come along in my place whos much more interesting  suddenly i dont matter and im not worth talking to anymore  now im just a ghost to her when we pass each other  it just really fucking sucks and ive never felt so alone,3.0
37885,lilfootsmommy awe i needed that i ♥ you and i miss you ,2.0
37886,i am afraid to tell my parents and friends about my mental state because they wont take me seriously ok so i dont wanna say i have depression and self diagnose myself which is why i didnt say it in the title but i really need help i have the worst time trying to sleep i get bad dreams every night sometimes my body hurts when i sleep i cut off all my friends i get nervous talking to people especially when we are in the car i cant handle texting people cause i overthink and i cry myself to sleep most days of the week only one person understands but i wanna tell my best friends but i know my friends are only interested in the happy and funny me but when i show signs of sadness its waved off i hate that people on social media laugh at depression because there are those who overuse it when theyve had a bad week but those who actually feel depressed for months now i just want to hide and bang my head against a wall because i am so embarrassed to feel like thispeople will think im probably being ungrateful or dramatic or just want attention which is why i chose to hide it but its killing me on the inside,3.0
37887,coping after best friend committed suicide my best friend committed suicide last month and i have been a wreck i miss him so much and im distraught at how he ended his life i am so depressed that at times i feel physically sick ive lost a lot of weight im able to get up and go to work but i can tell its impacting my performance i signed up for therapy and i really hope it helps i cant wait to be my old self again what other things have helped people what should i try i would do anything to be ok again ,3.0
37888,will survive one more exam and then freedom  bring on friday and economics,0.0
37889,on our way back ,2.0
37890,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
37891,sooo sleepy first night i have felt completely relaxed in  months except for the pounding head ,2.0
37892,ugh my internet was down ,2.0
37893,its game time shotyy  gunna own that test ,0.0
37894,sunday morning  my daughter doesnt feel well  we are staying home today  maybe some time at the pool ,0.0
37895,does anyone feel like fapping and porn cause depression i made a video on my channel which was documented since september of  showing how i feel like watching porn and excessive masterbation has caused a huge depression in my life i honestly believe that the cure to ones depression lies within themselves their actions and their beliefs and so moving into this new year im gonna fight my addiction because i myself alone can only cure my depression,3.0
37896,britatany lol kay  and give ashton plenty of birthday hugs haha,0.0
37897,every day is the same so when i was in school i was always excited to go back home and play video games i never felt so empty inside i used to joke about everything i was the funny guy who never seen sadness and empty inside then i grow up and started working as programmer everyday from  to  i lost my interested in video games even tho i bought the pc i always wanted and i started to feel empty everyday is the same now i dont even have a reason to live i feel like a machine i stop making jokes i lost my best friend  i lost myself,3.0
37898,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,1.0
37899,can i get a fuck curtis had the perfect day until one small interaction with him he is the human equivalent of wet food in the sink every fucking time my mood improves slightly he somehow manages to ruin shit for me im a petty little bitch so having other people be angry on my behalf would make my dayfuck you curtis,3.0
37900,why did i take my brolly out of my bag this morning why its going to be thunderstormalicious in five minutes ,2.0
37901,my camera got bumped in my bag and now i have no batteries no pics and no video ,2.0
37902,td sore iseng k salon kecil gt cuciblow cm  duuuh pgawainya dbayar brp ya sbulan miris deh  pdhl lmyn jg kjaannya,2.0
37903,rt  todays youth are basically begging for schoolbased mental health services yet weve seen only one budget cut aft ,2.0
37904,tht angel person scares me  x,2.0
37905, yes i think i ended up being there  i hate silent reading remember  and i always find a way to get to places ,0.0
37906,is its my brothers last day of school ,2.0
37907,fakerstephanier  lol abs in a box cant wait to see what he has to say to that one ,0.0
37908,woke up with a headache so bad that its painful to even look at the screen on my ipod touch ,2.0
37909,getting out of nunys home ,0.0
37910,luffsophie youre not going athl banquet and it was an advertising ploy ,2.0
37911,sairafaz but then i would miss otalia goodies ,2.0
37912,new blog post  httpwwwquackberrynet  thanks to erinalainephoto amp  for the model ,0.0
37913,rebelsean we had double the amount of rain we normally get in april another wet year here in toronto ,2.0
37914,no car it was call or text only and the number is invalid it was fine the other day when my bro text him wasnt meant to be i guess ,2.0
37915,samcarew aw thats so sweet  hows your weekend so far,0.0
37916,avantlaube thanks the concensus so far is a confirmed no im not surprised ,0.0
37917,doinitwell good morning rick well actually good afternoon from here ,0.0
37918,soozenw awww  max looks so cute in his sandbox btw that is the same one my son has and  years later he still loves it ,0.0
37919, class reunion advice its been ten years and there is a reunion im nervous because i want to go and take my wife but also i dont want to go im thinking back and can only name  or less people from my class i actually liked a part of me wants to go and just see what happens but then theres another part of me that resents those people i feel like ive decided already and shouldnt go should i or shouldnt i ,3.0
37920,alstonbrown hahah ugh i know what is up with this ,2.0
37921,quoti think she will like mequot maddison buzer about   quote of the day ,0.0
37922,rt lucasbavid me i am gonna make art today theres no reason to be depressed all daymy depression ,1.0
37923,i survived another year im just taking baby steps one day at a time and those days add up it still hurtsalong the way i figured out most of my negative thoughts are just distortions caused by bad brain chemistry and haywire survival instincts my feeling are real but that doesnt mean that they are true it still hurts i dont let anyone judge my timeline so what if i havent gone to college gotten married or travel the world we all face our own unique challenges and i shouldnt quantifying suffering it still hurtsgood luck everyone and  thank you for the support it hurts but but i tenaciously survive,3.0
37924,time for sleep  geometry exam in the morning  im scared,2.0
37925,iammattwolk amp nickmarfing you guys were really good via phone tonight see you friday ,0.0
37926,oktic lol weird welcome to twitter everyone is offline atm you can set up your phone so you can update by text ,0.0
37927,brownsugakisses  i miss u guys and i miss complaining with u about how long our hair used  b lol we still look fab tho,0.0
37928,bryanlanders   on another note thanks for the plug of freshbooks its really great,2.0
37929,is missing her last pub night ever  also missing stanford ,2.0
37930,ugh technology is reallly pissing me off right now ,2.0
37931,oh my god the end of the first course dont believe in it but yeh so many exams  lalala everything is wonderful,2.0
37932,dogcrazy good morning im doing ok fibro acting up but got lots  do  will just have  keep takin meds  get thru it so its ok ,0.0
37933, really depressing sad quotes about life and love ,2.0
37934,ditavandracula sophiesoph i think i could keep it on all day and stay entertained  maybe theres a beyond belief drinking game,0.0
37935,i am graduated be ready world ,0.0
37936,head hurts ,2.0
37937,birsfelder it was lovely  tom got me a new pink rucksack so were off to trial it on our walk to regents park with the lunch in it ,0.0
37938,i dont feel like i deserve the happiness in my life i only began to realize im truly depressed in about november it began to hit me when i was  then i was fat lazy self conscious about my weight and barely went out with friends all the negative feelings lack of motivation and inability to feel joy i blamed on my weight and lack of social lifesince september my life has gone through the changes that make any normal person ecstatic i met up with old friends who always love to go out and are much more fun than my school friends ive lost weight and gained muscle i go out more on this in a bit occasionally have intimate moments with women basically a complete  on my lonely lifestyle of three yearsbut im still not happy i should be jumping for joy but if anything i feel even worse because i dont feel like i deserve any of this theres normal people out there who are suffering and dont even have depression and its just wasted on me because i dont enjoy much of it the brilliance people associate with intimacy just feels like a lie i go out and occasionally enjoy myself but i feel thats only because its a distraction from my thoughts and i still hate my body even though its undergone dramatic change the only thing i enjoy is going to the gym and working out because it makes me feel happy but i dont have the motivation to go and i feel like im bumming a lot of people out funnily enough in spring and summer i become overbearingly hyperactive sometimes but when i go home and im left alone its just same old same old im a piece of shit drama im under the impression that i have sad solely because of the manic episodes my dad has been diagnosed with sad and he is almost the exact same i also come from a seriously messy background between my parents bad divorce always end up involved in their fighting asking me to testify against other parent in lawsuits and all this exposure to the real nature of their relationship began at you guessed it  years oldthis was really nothing more than a vent post but its good to get shit out to a group of people ill never have to meet i want to go to therapy and see a doctor to get a proper diagnosis on my state but the thought of having friends and family get all sappy and start pitying me and being overbearingly kind makes me fucking sick in the mouth i guess as a side note does anyone who managed to break the boundary of keeping this all to yourself have any ideas on how to break this news to your parents,3.0
37939,at work ,2.0
37940,i love you gran  now you and gram can be living it up in heaven together i miss you both dearly,0.0
37941,songzyuuup yea can u please go live becuz i havent seen u go liveever  tear,2.0
37942,had a good day with him ,0.0
37943,out of waffle ice cream ,2.0
37944,my parents went from you are intelligent you can do this to you are not that dumb to not be able to do xy and now tell me while being seriuos that i am not a disappointment to my family and that i am not dumbwhatever i do i disappoint i am completely useless and dumb in fact i am so useless that i am unable to be a good person i try to be good but i end up lying to people in order to avoid conflict and confrontationnothing is fun for me anymore i see no point in living i am not excited about anything anymore,3.0
37945,  follow me to the moon ,0.0
37946,feel like fuccin ma man i love him  ,0.0
37947,still raining     ,2.0
37948,as much as i like being thin i do sometimes wish that my meds didnt make eating such a chore for me i very rarely enjoy food ,2.0
37949,i messed up im not gonna beat around the bush i tried to kill myself i freaked out at the last minute and stopped the worst of the bleeding but now i have a huge bloody gash on my wrist  i dont want anybody to find out but i wont be able to hide it for long its bleeding all over the palce and the most i have to cover it is shitty plasters what the fuck am i supposed to do now,3.0
37950,mileycyrus hello miley are you in bahamas now enjoy your holiday ,0.0
37951,chelseadoll it was totally expected but wait to see what unfolds and further complicates that love triangle ,0.0
37952,saw the jonas brothers  movie today for the second time  i would watch it every single day if i could its the best,0.0
37953,im so hungrywhat should i eat ,0.0
37954,ddlovato omg im so excited to hear the titles  i have been waiting so longgg,0.0
37955,i wish i wasnt a fucking piece of shit i cant do anything im bad at literally everything i have myself so so so fucking much i hate my personality and i hate this piece of shit i see everytime i look at the mirrorpeople have so many talents and hobbies right why cant i have at least one why do i have to be so fucking useless and terrible at everything im trying to doive been drawing for many years and i still cant do shit god i hate the fact that there are so many people who can draw without learning too much and theyre so good at it and i ive been trying to learn something my whole fucking life and im still so fucking bad im not even able to try or learn anymore i just cant everytime i trt i just crying and shaking in first fucking minute of trying im so jealous of people who have any hobbies i wish i was good at even one simple thing i wish there was something on this world that would be interesting for me but no ive had this fucking depression for all these years and cant even enjoy doing things im not even able to do anything anymore im losing my last year of high school and you know what ive lost all these previous years too ive never enjoyed anything ive never live my life and im just so fucking done i want this all to stop i want to be able to enjoy doing something i want to feel something else than all these shitty feelings,3.0
37956,i feel as if im only prolonging my suicide i didnt know where or who else to talk to this about so ive come hereive accepted i was in a dark place and that i had to get out  that i would get out  but now i feel as if i am only prolonging the internal counting down of my inevitable suicidei feel as if this latest revelation i have made is now becoming apart of me as if this suicidal part of me is pushing everyone away including my better half to get a hold of my conscience so that when a day that every little thing hits with the force of a bullet it will be waiting for me at the very back of my mindtelling me to end it i know there is usually a light at the end of the tunnel but i cant find mine can someone lend me theirs,3.0
37957,thej that is the goverment law college  highcourtbroadway junction join ,0.0
37958,tarahope i knowi was wanting to figure out the whole twitpic thingand that was the recent picture i tookhe is getting old though ,2.0
37959,gah im so damn bored everyone is sleepingand the anger of the ppd cubs vs sox game is keeping me up ,2.0
37960,i saw my boyfriend and his friends and mine get his diploma today and met his parents  i had a great time,0.0
37961,why is it that grapes dry out your mouth  x,2.0
37962,i distracted my cousin dunno hes playing pet society pala sory toby ate loves you mwaaaahhh ,0.0
37963,whats anxiety likewell the fears start coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming and th,1.0
37964,no one wanted to talk about my feelings i woke up today to find out that no one wanted to talk about my suicidal feelings in rsuicidewatch  i felt very alienated i thought maybe my experiences were offensive to everyone because it touched on a sensitive topic so i sent an apology message to the moderators in case anyone got offended but having to go through all this it just confirms to me that what i said was really true and everyone was shying away from my cry for help just because of social stigma and double standards i really dont know what to do anymore im still feeling suicidal but i just want to talk to someone because my experiences have cursed and affected my daily life because the way im born has cursed me to interact with other people in only socially acceptable ways im very sad that it already puts me at a social and legal disadvantage the moment im born  i honestly dont know what to do anymore are you guys going to shy away from me just because of social stigma and double standards please dont ignore me,3.0
37965,good monday morning lovelies so tired this am woke up at  itching my hand found  bug bites one on my hand on my arm amp back ,2.0
37966, ugh that sucks i hate when tall people get in front of me ,2.0
37967, poppin color i have that on now but forgot my polish  the salon ,2.0
37968,stephannn dont say thatis it your ryry ,2.0
37969,im not important people spend time with those who are important to them they want to spend time with these people and they will clear their schedule to do so nobody spends time with me nobody wants to theres always something or someone who takes their time they even make up lies to cover for their free time im not important to anyone ,3.0
37970,amandaades lol sorry i wasent  we are not very good for bein on msn at the samee timee,2.0
37971,daisyx eyebrows was my favorite part of the vid too ,0.0
37972,yay for twitterberry ,0.0
37973, hahahahaha i know fml i miss him but at least i got another hug in before he left haha and nowthe tutor is coming damn ,2.0
37974,but  fourandahalf i wont have internet so ill email you  everything will be fine wish me a safe ,0.0
37975,celticpussycat  lol yeah but they havent been on my tv box  well alec has but hes cool,0.0
37976,omfg i have so much clothes so much that im trapped in a circle of clothes ,2.0
37977,monaminx lol and im  again in jan ,0.0
37978,jacintahardy lol chnging my course amp wheres the bbq  i didnt get the invite  but ill be round the area tho cos i gotta go to epping,2.0
37979,sooooshi hellz yeah i just thought i would round up a few applications to turn in on friday the people at sonic were mean ,2.0
37980,bought bras from lasenza for just  each i  sale ,0.0
37981,i dont even know what i like anymore ,2.0
37982,randomdrunk trying that dm thing again  sleep well and thanks for the nutella tips x,0.0
37983,  i dont care what you think i love them ,2.0
37984,  when we were young spain holidays with anna and me ,0.0
37985,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
37986,lpandarchie lucky i have to wait another  weeks ,2.0
37987, now i remember why i let my bangs grow out   hopefully i can get them to lay flat before work,2.0
37988,belladubois id like to read that ,0.0
37989,also admiring the new book by ben moore that keppet reminded me of  three stories all based on shows of his ive seen looks very cute,0.0
37990,been up since  am  another night of only  hours sleep getting quottiredquot of insomnia ,2.0
37991,wnas sorry wasnt in town yesterday ,0.0
37992,is officially afraid of crocodiles ,2.0
37993,stephmartinez thats so upsetting ,2.0
37994,was ready for a changeso i dyed my hair ,0.0
37995, nope  ill be there on wednesday night well just miss each other ,2.0
37996,this weekend was so good my team won all the matches next weekend will have  matches so difficult however my knee is killing me ,2.0
37997,hi my name is stevenlogas and a black dude pimps my mom ,0.0
37998,i lost one of my headbands gutted ,2.0
37999,i wish i could live forever in my memories i just cant accept the fact that every single happy moment that i ever lived is just a bittersweet memory i remember a time where i wasnt this dark inside but i cant relate to it  im not even sure my memories are real at this point my memories get kinda foggy sometimes i confuse names and places literally feels like a different life i can never be fully happy not with knowing that tomorrow is gonna come and this will just turn into inconsistent pics and sounds in my head,3.0
38000,idk what to do anymore im tired of convincing myself this is some sort of phase that i can get out of year after year im telling myself it will end after middle school then it became high school and now high school is almost over and i still feel the same im constantly trying to find meaning and reasoning for life and im left empty handed ive tried so many methods of healing therapy meditation mindfulness prayer etc and none of them work for me my heart is seriously hurting and im having a mental break down everyday now and i honestly dont know what to do anymore how do i find meaning purpose why do my efforts only dig me a deeper hole,3.0
38001,  my seventeen birthday ,0.0
38002,i was so looking forward  pudding  i dont have any dairy milk in my house only rice milk which turns pudding mix  a soupy mess,2.0
38003,i cant make connections thats alleveryone i talk to i always end up pushing them away because i feel better alone its an endless cycleeverything and everyone feels boring and pointless,3.0
38004, hi the film was fun and the popcorn was yummy xd see you tommorow on school yuk math first hour ,2.0
38005,rt drdenisemd your support for raising awareness of the importance of mental health leaves me with a smilegratitude ,0.0
38006,beautiful sunshine inviting me out to play gonna get ready to bring sound to your day x ,0.0
38007,ouchiemy body hurtshuhuhuhu ,2.0
38008,mynameisdaniel dont go home and nooo  i cant theres no one to swap withand theyre short on staff too im annoyed,2.0
38009,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
38010,facetimed my favourite amp we talked about depression amp her book shes writing amp about my journalism degree she made me smile so much ❤️,1.0
38011,hm so fashion designer alexis mabilles signature are bows  need to know more about him i  bows,0.0
38012, sure fail todays paper,2.0
38013,loading the van for the drive homeso sad ,2.0
38014,sos at least thats how i should be feeling im numb today pushing my partner away with vile snaps but also simultaneously needing his love and comfort the most for the first time today my suicidal thoughts brought me to how i would do it sleeping pills nothing in my life seems worth the effort anymore i feel like when i have the energy to do things its nothing but a front ive been in therapy for years im on antidepressants there is nothing left to help me and im mother fucking tired tired and done anyone else or just me,3.0
38015,rt girlfriendnotes hate getting flashbacks from things you dont want to remember it feels like your heart suddenly drops and anxiety st,1.0
38016,rachky hehe gotten over too many addiction already smoking biting nails i am gona embrace this one ,0.0
38017,headingoutwest i did see what happens to you when youre in the middle of nowhere its great ,0.0
38018,inkblue my day was full of doing nada all morning  its quotgettingquot productive now lol,0.0
38019,post depressive episode highs tldr does anyone else experience moments of focus and clarity the days following a depressive episodei am going to bring this up with my therapist and doctor but also wanted to ask the sub last week i experienced a minor depressive episode episodes happen about once a month i was stuck in bed for two days and didnt eat towards the end of the second day my friend dragged me out of bed and to a social event i mostly just stood around and didnt talk to anyone on my drive home i cried in frustration over being stuck in bed and how everyone else at the event was having fun and enjoying themselves the next few days though i had a weird swing in emotions i jumped out of bed early the next day and was doing chores and even exercised i was laser focused at workdoes anyone else experience these swings its like the clouds have opened up and i have clarity,3.0
38020,idk what im doing i was never enough as a kid i always had to strive to be better for my parents even though i never really was by the time i was in school i was already smarter than everyone else teachers would get mad at me for not doing my homework do your homework and i would say why and their reply would be because i said so or dont you smart mouth me or youre going to the naughty room so if i said anything i would get into trouble this later caused me to never speak up and be shy but in my head i would say give me a test that i dont pass and i will because obviously i dont need to practice this if im acing the tests everyone is forced to learn at the same speed and youre punished if youre going too fast how the fuck is someone supposed to get any sort of motivation to achieve when you get punished for being in the lead now i have social anxiety and im so depressed i lay in bed all day i cant even get the motivation to play video games that ive loved forever i only leave the house for drugs and im suicidal,3.0
38021,omfg canucks way to loose another one  the refs need to get some glasses so we better win game  and ,2.0
38022,whys it colddd outttsideeeee ,2.0
38023, omg have an amazing time in ny im soooooo not jealous you jammy biatch ,2.0
38024,jlkoctober hey joni ,0.0
38025,emihnk i honestly cant deal with brawn dominating like this poor rubens no matter where he is he always must feel like  best ,2.0
38026,probably going to get fired i just started this job a little over  months ago i probably call out at least once a month depression anxiety etc ive provided medical documentation to my employer im currently on  prescription medications and in therapy ive made some progress but relapsed again today employer is aware of my illness but will likely still fire me i havent asked for special accommodations other then sending a longwinded email explaining my conditions in greater detail and asking them to give me a chance to prove that despite my shortcomings i am an excellent worker i have glowing references from former employers who were aware of my issues but worked around them im not getting the sense that my current employer is as compassionate i know im covered under ada but since i never asked for a specific accommodation im not sure what my rights would be if they were to fire me fuck this life i have good days where i feel i can accomplish anything and then days like today where i know ill likely be fired yet cant muster up the energy or fucks to give to get my ass out of bed,3.0
38027,i am in crisis my wife wont listen   my best friends wont listen they are making me feel selfish for feeling scared i think i wan to kill my self i have no one to turn to,3.0
38028,im so alone the fear of isolation and being alone has always terrified me id say its one of my greatest fears ive always been held back from having actual friendships i hung out with kids in high school but my parents gave me a curfew up until i was  they also wouldnt pay for anything other than necessities because im lower middle class so that means i had to get a shitty job on the weekend just to pay for things like getting food with friends however by doing so i could hang out with them less and less until i was just a side friend growing up in a nice town means i was growing up with upper middle class families and really wealthy families and that means i couldnt afford things that most kids could like join sports teams or have a car to visit friends now college came around and my parents told me they wouldnt cosign loans that i would be paying for alone regardless of if they consigned or notcosigning would give me lower interest rates but no he insists that i need to save money and commute he let my older sister take out loans and live on campus back when she was in college even though she would be paying for everything as well but he wont let me live on campus his underlying feeling of distrust in my ability to succeed is why he wont sign those loans and it hurts knowing that im not good enough for him now that ive been commuting for two semesters i havent made any close friends just acquaintances everyday im alone i try to go out and join clubs but its not helping every time i see snapchat or instagram stories of people partying or hanging out with friends its like a dagger in my gut its so lonely and i can see myself changing into an angrier and nastier person im starting to hate my parents and hate my life one day it was so bad i almost jumped in front of the train i commute on i dont know how much longer i can stay mentally strong and live like this i feel bad for complaining about things like this because i know some people would do anything to be in my position but im miserable i want to be happy,3.0
38029,rt sugaplumcris depression ,2.0
38030,im so glad were better now   math asses tomorrow ,2.0
38031,ginabad let he who is without sin tweet  ,0.0
38032,mszulc meet lyndons mark you need to talk to lyndon perfect for a cfflexair case study nsw education ,0.0
38033,misses her boys   yall know who you are,2.0
38034,goodnight    ,0.0
38035,we actually have milestones due for  high profile projects in the next  weeks amp they are all scheduled when i am on vacation   ,2.0
38036,therealjordin   get your armor lalala love is a battlefield  lalala  greaattt tonighhht ,0.0
38037,everyone is coming in town this weekendexciting not really its my  gp and i feel aged ill just let the babies have all the fun ,2.0
38038, this is so sad💔hope he feels well and stays strong 💪🏼,0.0
38039,pgpengame hey pretty lady ,0.0
38040,chillilcheckin out dads new itouchits sicki want one ,2.0
38041,mixed emotions tonight ,2.0
38042,kayx not until  and  in manchester seems like ages away have a fantastic time tonight ,0.0
38043,should i jump ship before my depression makes the whole boat sink mild trigger warnings on suicidal thoughts and self harm nothing too detailedim depressed i was doing ok until i met lets call him alex alex isnt that attractive but he is so so so sweet we work together so it was a bad idea to start with but i thought my lesbian phase had ended when we started getting close so we began dating it didnt take long for me to become even more positive that im a lesbian and i ended things with him he was pretty hurt but were staying friendsthis sounds great and all but he makes a lot of comments about how no girls like him and how i dont count because i turned out to be a lesbian i feel really bad and i just constantly apologize but i gotta be real with ya chief i feel like shit all the time now i dont want to stop talking to him but after what i did with breaking it off with this poor lonely dude i wake up suicidal and go to sleep wanting to cut thats not his fault but im getting hella sick of telling him he matters all the time only to get accused of messing with his feelings and listening to him talk about how he feels like people only use him hes on multiple occasions told me he wants to die and i havent found anything that i say helps himshould i stop talking to him should i block him even though we work together if i do stop talking to him what reason should i give hes one of my best friends this is really having an effect on my mental health and i wasnt sure where to ask 😭💕,3.0
38044,newcomer hi ive recently joined this sub and would just appreciate a sort of introduction from someone else here i guess a little about me i dont know how this sub works ive had fluctuating depression i guess since i was  ive had a pretty negative outlook on life since i was bullied pretty badly for about two years among other events throughout the years when i hit  i began thinking about suicide but never really tried following through until i was around  since then ive attempted around  times but either failed or couldnt follow through a couple years ago i began dating my current so and since then have really opened up about my feelings and have brightened up in general while i am not cured or what have you i am doing far better than i was just a few years ago ,3.0
38045,refashionista have more kids and hope one of them is a girl ,0.0
38046,took my sleeping pills at  because i wanted to sleep sooner than usual and have a normal rythm of sleep it almost  i slept  i think i dont want myself to sleep like normal people being,3.0
38047,tmorello  if we can get them past security there will be belated birthday cupcakes for you and trent in toronto ,0.0
38048,amazingphoebe you tell me not to take my bad moods on you but you just did then  oh well it doesnt matter ,2.0
38049,oh wow look i worked it out for myself  ,0.0
38050,rt namibycandy made this post with so much love  ❤ mentalhealthawarenessmonth ,0.0
38051,watching susan boyles bgt tours performances ,0.0
38052,i cant do it any more life isnt supposed to be like this we work more than huntergatherers and medeival peasants do we are literally not evolved to live like this we work in plutocratic organizations with no say and are expected to just be okay with having no control over your lifei personally am done i cant keep living like this nobody cares everybody is either too distracted too propagandized or too dumb to realize whats happening were a species slowly circling the drain and we could have been so so much more i dont want to kill myself i either want us to correct course as a species or for me to stop existing and the former is definitely not happening just look at the clear evidence what the fuck do we do what the fuck do i do,3.0
38053,converseee on foots xd so cute ,0.0
38054,to know how to get  followers in  days amp make no money doing it  good tipps but money  jesus,0.0
38055,brewskiebutt  that is tooo sad bb cries sobs see you later,2.0
38056,ey ishubile,1.0
38057,was off to a quotdeep divequot session in redmond but am no longer going   i was going to add my  extensive techy skills ive been found out ,2.0
38058,what has your journey been like i  would like to know whats your journey been like after diagnosis  where has life taken you did you make drastic changes move away quit your job and how did those decisions impact your life where are you now i was diagnosed in january of this year  although i think its been a long time coming i just didnt notice that it was lurking underneath the surface ,3.0
38059,still studying this is why i have  straight as this semester too bad im not guaranteed a job once i graduate ,2.0
38060,mimchan  whats up,2.0
38061,realbillbailey no klingons though ,2.0
38062,magickmomma save them there dishes for when i get home   love you sweetie,0.0
38063,aubreyfresh yeay thanks soo much ,0.0
38064,seriously no freakin lifee ,2.0
38065,depressed last year i was diagnosed with lupus and can barely get out of bed most days ever since also since then i have been in online school and havent made any friends my past friends knew about my lupus for a while after i left regular school and never even called or texted me once even when i texted them they were really dry and it made me realize that i have always been there for everyone around me and no one has been there for me with the exception of my mom speaking of family my dad left when i was three and i have no extended family and no siblings so i only live with my mom my mom has terminal cancer and i cant see her living past the next five years besides the emotional stress of her dying we are also really poor and once she dies i wont have anyone to financially rely on which is difficult because i cant even get out of bed now its also been really hard to have hope for the future since i will have no one after my mom dies and will be poor sickly and lonely not to mention ever since ive gotten lupus i have gained thirty pounds my self esteem is gone and my grades are horrible because of all of this i have been thinking of killing myself this would have some major benefits i would not have to deal with all of my problems and i would also relieve the financial burden my mom has because of hospital bills that is all,3.0
38066,timeistheenemy ah yes aw man i was so embarresed  fuck saaaake,2.0
38067,aceofheartsssc in the woods behind my place  ,0.0
38068,gutted with the rugby result ,2.0
38069,ond wer heds gschafft  met em pfiili n�b erem shout chammer retweete gtgt,0.0
38070,rt taekwwon top  sad anime endings ,2.0
38071, degree weather a broken air conditioner  ,2.0
38072,justjayde oh yeah  like what snickering,0.0
38073,lyndseybeagen haha seriously how annoying nope i may just try out and work there but live here ive been working out ,0.0
38074,sixdollaburger  you dont need prestigeyou need to find satisfaction within yourself ,2.0
38075,ok twitter so i so fing tired i think im gonna call it a night ,0.0
38076,do you sometimes look in the mirror and dont recognise yourself as a person  i hope it fits the sub because it is often accompanied by lowssometimes if i look in the mirror im not seeing the character i am but rather just a unnatural combination of facial partsi cant recognise myself anymore i cant conclude how i look like it seems a little bit as if the mirrorself tries to act as me but fails in the details,3.0
38077,electricnightx so annoying  cheap primark,2.0
38078,thanks greatscott and jackleblond too bad though  with friends who dont have full pass,2.0
38079,officialthrice why are u in paris and you arent playing guys thats insane ,2.0
38080,jonathanrknight you are too effin funny my friend  what up in your world this fine eveningwell it is evening on the east coast ,0.0
38081,ive been tweeting so less today ,2.0
38082,rt munchjin its sad bcos jin is sucha private person and it seems some of you guys are more interested in his family than himself some,1.0
38083,ate such a goood dinner  sitting outside doing my summer reading now,0.0
38084,zimbabweben money isnt the root of all evil its the lack of it   ,0.0
38085,when do you start to realize your not okay everything is getting worse i dont feel like me im scared honestly i wish everything was normal,3.0
38086,chilling at home ,0.0
38087,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
38088, me either i owe those few people my life and so much more i just dont know how i could ever repay httpstcodwmivxdvsm,0.0
38089,ppf have to learn french vocabularies maybe study this evening  not now french sucks,0.0
38090,kuyaz i know  and i was afraid that we wouldnt be talking after last nights game roger winning makes us happy ,0.0
38091,back again   just got up a short while ago having a great breakfast with a cup of coffee and a nutella toast,0.0
38092,being sad and shit over a female who couldnt give  fucks about me lol i got myself all the way fucked up never again,2.0
38093,morning all im off to court bright and early this morning  yay speeding ticket ,2.0
38094,i alway miss whale wars  thank you ddlovato for reminding me of that ,2.0
38095,chathuraw get that fixed after few years it can worth some thing ,0.0
38096,is fucking famous yas the boygirl gave me a thumbs up ,0.0
38097,is a little upset i dont know maybe its my emotions but im feeling really down  not like my regular cheerful self ill b ok ,2.0
38098, not at allive spent most of the afternoon in the bathroom ,2.0
38099,sad i missed tylerhwilliams going away party due to too much work but i really am gonna miss that kid ,2.0
38100,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
38101,freezing cold windy and quotthat rain that gets you wetquot  yep its a work day ,2.0
38102,jqrd when you have a big project that each person wants to take it to some direction one has to favor the ones with patches  has worked,0.0
38103,racco oh um no  i guess they have my soul now,2.0
38104,featherschapman thanks i hope so ,0.0
38105,bryisahypocrite of course thought you were en vacance you and barbara ellen should coordinate your hols better this is dire ,0.0
38106,whoever said depression is a choice is ignorant as fuck,2.0
38107,roast turned out perfect the boyfriend loved it were  months today ,0.0
38108,   me too  it depresses me thinking about it,2.0
38109,first day in a new area at work already having computer problems ,2.0
38110,im tired of being lonely ive been lonely for the past  years im sick of it ive had some flings or whatever since my last gf although very few i stoped the chase or whatever a long time ago just doesnt seem worth it putting in all the time and effort always being interesting and entertaining just for them to maaaaybe decide to be with me i just dont have the motivation anymore especially with how girls are now it just keeps getting more and more difficult tbh i try to talk to some but my mind just turns to mash i have no idea how to keep conversations through text working i prefer to talk in person that i can usually make work it just kind of sucks im never really in any situations where i can meet girls i get a decent amount of matches on tinder but honestly i rarely even message any unless they message me even then why should i even try im getting old cant seem to hold a job i dropped out of college might go back i dont have a car i havent much to offer no social status my old friends pretty much all hate me at least i think why am i here im a waste someone else can do better with my life no girl wants some one like that i try to focus on my self but its just nights like this where all i want is a girl to smoke weed with listen to music talk about shit we hate its nights like this i just wish i had someone to hug and kiss im just not good enough at least not yet when will i be when im  im almost there even then i dont think much will change maybe its just the pills talking,3.0
38111,apparently whether i exercise or not saturdays is just my day to get a headache  fb,2.0
38112,i just want to vent ive been up and down over the past few months every day is different but i think over all i have improved im not hurting as much as i did a few months ago today wasnt the best day i didnt really talk to anyone and i spent a combined  minutes out of bed to eat and go to the bathroom im going to sleep feeling empty wasting a day in bed with a significant other feels ok but doing it alone makes me feel very unproductive maybe that wasnt a very good idea im so lonely ,3.0
38113,win a set visit on csiny hurry it ends   via  hillharper a good cause and a good time guaranteed ,0.0
38114,jackiesinniah oh my god thats soooo awful     poor youu,2.0
38115,genmom my son thought it was so cool yall got to go to the survivor finale he was happy with the winner ,0.0
38116,wormsarefunny  thanks  a regular customer  my work loves to share these intriguing little quotes with me whenever he comes around,0.0
38117,this is it theres only one way out of this now i have to end it before things get out of hand i need to make people hate me first i need there to be no one that will care when it happens if they hate me they wont miss me its starting with my girlfriend i havent felt the same about her for about two weeks and i finally told her weve been together for almost a year now and this is tearing her apart she thinks its her fault though its not i just kind of stopped loving her i feel horrible because weve been through so much together she stayed with me even as i went through having voices in my head and staying at the hospital for treatment but i just cant bring myself to feel the same way about her its killing me too but if i do this right shell hate me and ill be able to go without her missing me maybe if im a dick about it shell be glad im dead then i have to make my parents hate me that will be a bit harder because theyve stayed with me through everything too and have been very supportive i think this is finally it im finally going to cut it off now i dont know how im going to do it or when but its going to happen soon and its no ones going to be able to stop me,3.0
38118,my friend as we were leaving to do our boat thing crashed into a parked car  shes freaking out but the damage isnt terribly bad,2.0
38119,deception ,2.0
38120,is it weird that i crave solitude but i am so lonely when around a lot of people i really want to leave and be alone when alone i crave closeness i think i need a girlfriend,3.0
38121,is it okay for a grown man to cry im  and feel like crying because im ugly ass fuck and been single for about  years women dont talk to me ive been using okcupid for about  years with no luck tinder for  months i go out almost every weekend i work around lots of women i interact with them but not one find me attractive im not a bad person or anything ive been told im the nicest person they ever met i dont know life sucks i guess,3.0
38122,juella well you keep tweeting impressive stuff ,0.0
38123,putzing around on facebook myyearbook and myspace im a multitasker ,0.0
38124,perrins its like a classroom on here this morning ,0.0
38125,im cheking youtube   amp the hardy show   love ya ,0.0
38126,rt  toxic masculinity is bullshit masculinity is not toxic society needs it shaming men for being masculine will not improve m,0.0
38127,hates getting up early ,2.0
38128,nothing like breakfast for dinner ,0.0
38129,thanktank ,0.0
38130,shopped today ,0.0
38131,a radio dj said he wish  would come to manila i literally crossed my fingers to that please do because i love you ,0.0
38132,will go to gym today with her adopted child thabo  i will i wil,0.0
38133,how do you get yourself out of bed this week has been particularly difficult  ive missed  days of school i get up to turn my alarm off i keep it across the room and i have to do math problems to turn it off but i always just end up crawling back into bed and sleeping the rest of the day away,3.0
38134,iloveyou  reply if you think its you who im pertaining to  hahaha,0.0
38135,i feel like my is pointless i used to have a bunch of goals in life such as becoming a designer or architect etc but now i feel as if my life is pointless and worthless and i have nothing to look forward to in life nothing drives me to work towards my goal and i dont study for tests or to improve my grades my parents divorced during my freshman year of high school im drifting apart with most of my friends i barely have any friends most of them are just acquaintances i have one friend but im feeling like we are starting to drift apart no one in my life is close to me people that once were already have someone else to talk to all i do is stay home and scroll on the internet while my toxic mother feeds me lies and says my dad is horrible and such i want to die so much but im too scared to actually inflict any harm on myself if there was an easy way to die without pain then i would do it i wish there was actually something i enjoyed in my life,3.0
38136,im supposed to be in myrtle beach ,2.0
38137,olallaareiigaal i know that tomorrows your bday  wtf youll have a dog omg que envidiaaa i want that ,2.0
38138,its time for physicists to talk about mental health ,0.0
38139,i didnt eat great on fridayand ate horrible yesterday i shud have a salad for breakfast  ,2.0
38140,ziggityzoom good good i finally have a dutch bunny hes so cute no name yet though any ideas how are you ,0.0
38141,lindaeskin thats hilarious ill have to try it out ,0.0
38142,i feel like somethings missing ,2.0
38143,parked my car in the wrong spot today at work and a monster truck ran it over ,2.0
38144, more hours  im so exhausted im so tired,2.0
38145,adbert alithos anesti  as i said soon youll be speaking greek better than koufie and me ,0.0
38146,robpattinson hey rob i just wanted to say your a true inspiration and i love your moviesyour a major sweetheart it seemsttys ,0.0
38147,dontyouhate when u hella juices to  ur broad and she say quotnigga i just got done shittin u might not wanna do thatquot ,2.0
38148,riceagain you cant eat soup with chopsticks yet pfft newbie  lol just kidding ,0.0
38149,chinese theatre dumbledore looks lonely ,2.0
38150,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
38151,feeling really lost i dont know if this post breaks any rules but i just need a chance to vent im surrounded by loved ones and yet in my head im drowning alone i dont like this feeling nor do i want it i just need someone who isnt in my daily life to listen and let me bounces my thoughts off of im trapped in a constant spiral of thoughts in my head ,3.0
38152,omfg school closed coz of swine flu gay thing ,2.0
38153, day of summer school  lets get it ,0.0
38154,the good thing about being depressed is how in control you are with your emotions everyone is always loosing their temper and causing drama and i just keep cool and collected  im sad and lonely but in control ,3.0
38155,told parents that i wanna take a year off college didnt go well im a senior student thats been struggling to finish college for several years now due to depression told my parents just a few minutes ago that i have to take a break and that ive no more stremgth to keep doing it and that i need a rest maybe find some work just to keep going and not off myself tried to impart onto them some of my feelings and explain that their constant pressuring is pushing me further down the rabbit hole didnt go well as father keeps belittling me using ad hominem to knock down my argument mother is sobbing telling me how much theyve invested in me basically telling me how much ive disappointed them talks about killing herself has attempted before im having a massive panic attack the pills are kicking in luckily and im able to write this gwyn almighty lord of sunlight grant me strength to live through this shit,3.0
38156,in much pain before puppy training might not go  why cant cuteness heal all ills that would be rad,2.0
38157,im sick amp tired of always being sick amp tired ,2.0
38158,cant bend her right foot big toe ever since mikey stood on it and broke it i miss being able to command my toe ,2.0
38159,stepping out so today is the day i decided to do something with my life i realize i need to force myself to get into this mindset of helping myself while helping others today i volunteered to teach im ghana for three months i leave april sixth and couldnt be more proud of myself rn its gonna cost a fortune so no more going out but i just needed to tell someone ,3.0
38160,ohsuperheroine thanks for the follow  ok to add you to xbox too,0.0
38161,peasandbananas haha i dont know but i figured they made them since they make mini burgers ,0.0
38162,missyelam but what would i do without my tv shows im addicted to showtime ,2.0
38163,shodanepps how come you get two phones ,2.0
38164,study abroad in china amp volunteering in guatemala almost over  ,2.0
38165,decemberdiamond lol i miss winter ,2.0
38166, aww i know the feeling ,2.0
38167,joelmchale i think next week the soup should boycott anything about heidi and spencer and no chicken tetrazzini this week  mike hawke,2.0
38168,after reading this youll wish i was dead  i yell at my parents like a spoiled brat whenever im the slightest bit ticked off i dont care about my future at all grades are shit i shittalk friends friends behind their back then get salty when i find out they do the same like some kind of egotistical fuck im a narcissistic piece of shit using depression as a validation tactic for anything i do wrong im not actually depressed i just use it as a means to justify anything and everything i do my friend reveals hes depressed i fail to comfort him then get jealous when he goes to other friends for comfort read that jealous im a fucking piece of shit this entire post was just a validation tactic for myself for being a lazy unambitious shitty human being who knows they have to get exterminated right now but is too pussy to do so im emotionally manipulative as hell heck im basically manipulating u guys needed somewhere to validate myself srry reddit,3.0
38169,yoreon thanks have a good life,3.0
38170,misslalaine and im stuck with people with babies with stinky diappers ,2.0
38171,thought i could fly i was wrong  lol haha ,2.0
38172,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
38173,ok now im actually studying ,0.0
38174,its amazing what clearing cache and cookies does google browser gmail and docs are back on my  ,0.0
38175,have a great day all  ,0.0
38176,davidkirlew i hate that i cant stay at the ritz   im gonna have to bug my company to get them back on contract,2.0
38177,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
38178,feelings of guilt when i dont spend time with my parents im a sophomore in college and over the past few years my parents and i have drifted further and further apart this is expected when you are a teenageryoung adult and begin to get more freedom and autonomy however whenever i spend time with my parents it just isnt the same as when i was a kid everything feels forced i cant make conversation they get on my nerves and i make little effort to talk to them they know i struggle with depression and do a lot to help me out with it always text me and make sure i know they love me the usual good parent thing whenever i come home from college they want to spend time with me and catch up which is expected but i barely give them the light of day i dont know why i do it i dont know why i treat them the way i do when they love me so much and have always worked so hard to give me a good life i just feel really ungrateful and like a fucking jerk every time my mom asks me with a smile to play cards or my dad suggests we watch a movie and i inevitably shoot them down it breaks their hearts a little bit i can tell but i just dont know how to act around them my depression and anxiety make me want to spend my whole day alone in my room and they worry they want us to be a happy family it makes me sad real sad i fucking hate that i cant be better for them i wish i could be a good son does anyone else struggle with these feelings like you take your loved ones for granted please this is eating at me inside,3.0
38179,working from home today surprisingly productive been at it since  loads to do today mostly dull stuff ,2.0
38180,paulinecamille i miss you darling ill be home soon  are you back,0.0
38181,i have accepted i am never going to be in a relationship find anyone special or build a family because i am just not good enough for anyone yep im working my arse off on self improvement self help gym hobbies socialisingi am working so hard to be better but itll never be enough for someone to accept me as a partneri have fooled myself so many times into believing id be enough for dating guys but they have only wanted sex from me my long term partner even said after no sex for  months that sex is too important and if i dont start providing hell get sex elsewherei was talking to a guy recently felt like we had a lot in common i put a lot of effort into the conversation which doesnt mean he owed me a relationship by any means however i felt like it was going somewhere until it was clear he wanted any girl and id make dowhen i said we should stick to being friends he said he didnt plan on us being anything so i was wrongim overweight depressed stupid unattractive im not funny or intelligent im passionate about crafts but none of them look any goodive always been the invisible girl ive had men ignore i even exist while talking to my much more attractive female friendsim heartbroken i wont get married start a family work even harder at a job thats maybe not for me just so i have money to live alone and support myselfi keep telling myself if i accept it now itll get easier but i keep crying,3.0
38182,hoping you get covid so you can die wow been a while since i was this low the meds arent working its my fourth antidep at the highest dosethese thoughts are fuckedthankfully im not acting on it just wondering if anyone else was having these sort of intrusive thoughts in this climate,3.0
38183,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
38184,hdkson   no  i  should  take acc  on saturday     ill   want  relax,2.0
38185,this life is a curse not a blessing nothing in life can out weigh the consistent pain of depression,3.0
38186,rt dougarony rudyhavenstein  they also forget the bankers started the great depression while  million americans ,2.0
38187,im killing myself tonight im fucking doing it i have suffered from severe depression for every single one of my twelve hard years of life i cant take it anymore one year ago my mom yelled at me after i poopsd in the living room after this she took away my xbox for an entire half of a full year once i finally got my xbox back i got back to minecraft to see my hole vegge tales build destroyedi cant fucking take it anymore life is too cruel i will never be happy again everything i create is desteoyed in front of my eyes and i have been psychologically tortured by my mom for yearstonight is the knight i put a bullet in my head,3.0
38188,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
38189,is anyone else triggered by laughing from first grade through the end of high school i was the big target for bullying i was  am soft and wouldnt stand up for myself i was too big to get pushed around easily so the other kids would hurt me with their words always laughing at any mistake i made magnifying my flaws and putting them on display i was made to cry  so many times i was laughed at so many times as i grew older the bullying also matured people looking at me giggling with their friends hearing my name surrounded by laughter in conversationsin  grade i was committed to an inpatient psychiatric facility this did not help my reputation i was however  beginning to take the first steps towards establishing mental well being my best friend then told me a usual bully of mine had said lets kill  before he kills us my classmates were conspiring to kill me because they were worried id take revenge on them for bullying rumors spread that i was a killer for the rest of my school career everyone was afraid of me and i hated it i was never more of an outcast than i was then they eventually settled back into the usual pattern of giggling about me  this time they would be joking about the rumor that had spread against mei went back to the mental hospital in junior year i overheard  my teacher telling other teachers that im weird  a freak this was a teacher i liked and trusted up until theni finished the rest of my schooling at a facility where i could do my work onlineskip to today  ten years have passed since ive began my mental health journey and ive finally found the right combination of medicines that work for mei was waiting outside my classroom today its finals week and some teachers had told us not to come to their classes today because the rooms are in use this teacher never mentioned any of that so i assumed class was still on two other teachers were chatting in the hallway while i waited and my teacher came out from his office i asked him if any classes are on this week  he said no because of finals i said ah i should get going the two teachers turned from their chat to laugh at me while i walked off at first i shrugged it off  but when i reached my car i couldnt  stop sobbingi came home and cried for another two hours holding my childhood teddy bear in my arms realizing how deep my brokenness runs ive never felt so alone or so afraid i just feel broken and the concept of repair is a monumentally intimidating thing it feels so hopeless and impossible,3.0
38190,i watched the last bit of elephant man it is sooo sad ,2.0
38191,anyone here bipolar or have any insights i know i have anxiety  possible depression according to a shrink from about  years ago  ssri medication makes me into a zombie so i dont take it  recently im wondering if i have bipolar in some form  today is a prime example of why i have this fear  i feel good i didnt immediately curl up on my couch after getting my son to school like i have for the past few weeks  im productive well sort of  i am doing things at least  but i cant seem to keep on task  every little thing is throwing me off track  its like all of a sudden my brain has this need to do everything all at once with no particular order or plan  i was making a grocery list and somehow i wound up creating a google calendar for teeball  then i was simply looking for a snack and suddenly im cleaning out my entire fridge  i went to get dressed and then im looking at a complete closet overhaul  all i wanted to do was go to the grocery store  now im all over the fucking place doing all kinds of crazy shit instead of the one thing that i needed to doyesterday i didnt even eat anything  i didnt get dressed until like   i didnt even get my ass off the couch until noon  i couldnt even manage to do a load of laundry so my kid had clean school clothes  my poor husband had to do it after work  wtf is going on with me  why am i so freaking inconsistent,3.0
38192, i got them  ttyl,0.0
38193,everyone should get married in free parks windy cold ones ,0.0
38194,leaving schooli have the flu  i need robotussin ,0.0
38195,amyjaneadams just finished come on  gift card ,0.0
38196,i feel like i can t make friends i tried multiple times to do that i don t think i am a bad person i try to be helpfull and i don t know what to do anymore i was in a group we were going out to eat sometimes and spend time togheter but then i felt like i wasn t part of it anymore i don t know if i am boring or something i don t know what to do i stay  in my house almost of all of my free time playing games or watching tv  i have an online life but not really a real one i am  almost  any tips ,3.0
38197,taxtime can create a fair amount of stress for individuals and businessowners especially if you have ,0.0
38198,ok swivelling up and down my touch and landed on demi lovato  i worry that swivelling up and down the screen entertains me so much,0.0
38199,anxiety everyones talking shit about youme nonsense everyone is focused on themselves theyre not thinking about medepression ever,2.0
38200,wtf  a year after the first just give me more maps and stop stealing my monies ,2.0
38201,amberlovely hello  glad you had a good time ,0.0
38202,why cant the ups woman get here before i leave  itll be my luck they will show up while im out for  hours  ,2.0
38203,rt ladruggie me to me bitch you stress me out 😂,2.0
38204,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
38205,famousntob not funny im missing  or more currently ,2.0
38206,need to get medication no insurance no script currently hey everyone i need some advice my fiance is currently uninsured because they lost their job they dont have a refill for their buspirone prescription and cant get a new script without seeing a doctor and the cost out of pocket is too high theyre currently rationing meds and going through withdrawal and its breaking my heart that i cant help i dont have the funds to be able to afford the  copay just for the visit then the cost of the prescription out of pocket does anyone know of any ways to get this med in the us or get a prescription i cant see them suffering like this,3.0
38207,im happy and sad at the same time 😭😭😭😭 i cant dooo thisss,1.0
38208,after a year of unemployment and getting kicked out of the army i finally got a job and yet i still feel like shit for some reason i always thought that after i set up a new normal things would start to feel a little bit better but life still seems to be covered in this indescribable thin membrane of utter horror and i have no idea how to see past it i feel lonely and cold like nobody sees me  and i just dont know how to deal with it anymore i dont want to kill myself but i feel like im  running out of solutions pills dont help my friends and family simply cant understand what im going through not that i blame them its not their fault i feel like everything under my skin is slowly rotting and i just dont know how im supposed to deal with a lifetime of this shit,3.0
38209,if i drove id b sittn n trafficon the bus im sitn nxt  a wet ass lady and her wet ass dog and screamin ass kidi cant win  wtfuck,2.0
38210,rt  good question ,0.0
38211,reagent your new  some quotmothers dayquot gift geesh at least youre honest ,2.0
38212,just got out of the shower nothing says wake up like body lotion in your hair ,0.0
38213,ddlovato wow demi i just saw some videos from the concert in pa yesterday i wish i could go to one of your concerts ,2.0
38214,is flying back to boston ,0.0
38215,sunday is the day i always end up doing something terrible im always alone at weekends and i usually have some work to do i end up not doing it on saturday which makes my sunday very anxious anxiety plus loneliness kill me today i get the feeling i dont have anymore clue of what to do with my life january has been a month blessed my the devil i quit my job my ex quit me my family is spending the month traveling on vacations and i find myself here in a too big house with work to do all by myself crying and building up a rage that will end up destroying something last sunday i cut myself until i felt in a horror movie today i might to the same or just throw some glasses at the wall ,3.0
38216,fargo is one of the best shows on tv but it gives me an insane amount of anxiety,1.0
38217,jonas brothers youtube account is working now ,0.0
38218,maybe one will smile back if your lucky ,0.0
38219,rt  the kanji for depression gives me depression ,2.0
38220, lol yes i know ,2.0
38221,who do i talk to at  when everyone is sleeping and im feeling really fucking down i havent been sleeping worth shit the past few weeks i feel like the depression is just getting worse im actually tired but my mind just runs at  thoughts a minute some backstory as well my girlfriend cheated on me like  months ago i forgave her then right before christmas she decided that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me ive just been lonely and depressed and im more of a talking person rather than typing or texting id go to a meeting or something if i could at night but its just not possible i am also not feeling suicidal so i dont want to just call a hotline for feeling depressed and taking up others time when they could be helping others ideas,3.0
38222,benjuang they jail you you cant tweet for an hour ,2.0
38223,i kinda miss some of my old friends quot like hella bad ,2.0
38224,hungariandevil wen we got back from ts our lite was on and ems door was open wasnt wen we left hopefully its nothing have fun in in ,0.0
38225,oh lord  the metro crashingand it was confirmed brandy nor missberry was even near the scene prayer hoes out to the  dead ,2.0
38226,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
38227,almost home listening to paramore  my mom wants to learn the songs before the concert,0.0
38228,pretty certain i wont use the little lift in the caa building again yet again the doors got stuck and refused to open   ,2.0
38229,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
38230,to all of you american girls its sad too imagine a wooooooorld without you,2.0
38231,tracymarchini  i am so sorry we lost you i went out to the back felt claustrophobic went onto the sidewalk and couldnt find you ,2.0
38232,dont know how to feel my best friend of  years killed himself yesterday after a shocking confession it all started yesterday morningi went up to his to check up on him he opened the door with tears in his eyes i asked him  what was wrong there was an awkward silence for a long time till he could finally speak he talked about his abuse as a child which id already known about he then said hes afraid hes becoming his abuser and told me he had unnatural feelings towards those who were around  the age he was constantly raped he was  he rolled up his sleeve and showed me his scars from cutting hed stayed up all night cutting himself i didnt know what to say i tried to calm him tell him wed sort out therapy to help him for hours but eventually he started freaking out he ran out of his apartment and hopped in his ride i cant drive so i legged it to the bus stop i tried to figure out where he went thought he couldve gone to a pizza place or something because he loved pizza thought we could get a bite to eat and talk things through next thing i see is a text from him saying that id be better off without a scumbag like him he died of an overdose in his car  will forever haunt mei dont know how to feel he never hurt anyone he only hurt himself he was like a big baby in a way hed cry if he cooked something and it was burnt hed cry watching kids movies because he never had a childhood wed go to farms and hed cry over the runt of the litter he may have been  but he had the mentality of a  year old sadly ironic as this is when his abuse begannow im stuck here confused and alone wondering what went wrong i knew hed never hurt a child but at the same time im still conflicted and hurting damn this sucks,3.0
38233,moms gonna highlight my hair yay ,0.0
38234,cliveflint ok ill be there by  then ,0.0
38235, britney is fine once in awhile but i wouldnt give her money by going to her concert now trent on the other hand ,0.0
38236,anyone else too lazy to even make a post explaining themselves i feel like i wouldnt know where to even begin and every time i pick up my phone to finally express myself i never write more than a few words and then just give up and go back to feeling like shit,3.0
38237,sharpener grins ,0.0
38238,only  more daysi love a good road trip ,0.0
38239,omgitzsaraa nmmmjust herein durbansheesh we gonna be staying here till next thursday  it suxxxxxx ,2.0
38240,hmmmmmm its raining how come it only rains in weekends and it cancels my camping trips every time   ,2.0
38241,yay just finished this paper on nightgreat bookbad paper  oh well,2.0
38242,im so sad about taaeeee my heart breaks for him and his family my deepest condolences 💜,1.0
38243,broken up with  days before valentines day got broken up with today i mean the whole holiday is a joke anyway but the thought of having to see so many happy couples  days after my bf dumped me out of no where kinda sucks it really sucks actually just gonna stay off social media all day i think for all the other lonely people out there on this tragic holiday i hope you have a good day despite not having a so to share it with,3.0
38244,how to move forward apologies for the lengthy posta brief about mepersonali am  yo malegaywas molested by a few guys at different timesi  have low selfesteem about my physiquedark tonedthin with glassesi have dental fluorosisdark yellowish teeth so i never smiled or laughed with my mouth openbecame sort of addicted to pornhookups between august  poor performance in career did shitty things like cruising at public toiletsgroping at bussesetc since  at various timeseven through all these confusions i am quite social now with all the fellow interns i never shared any of my problems because no body gives a shit and they might take it as a way to tease me i hate small talksharing of factsany talk about moviesi usually am silent if i went for a group dinner i find it pretty hard to talk in groupalso i do not remember such facts about which country has x resourcesso oncareerfinished masters in engineering with above avg gpa got a job through campusnow doing a research internship and planning for phdabout current workin my present internship i was given a development project which i was not interested at allevery others were given some interesting research worki could have finished mine earlier and switched to something else but i am dragging the work for so longgggggg in every weekly meeting i just lie to the prof that i did something somethingall the other interns have detailed slides of their past weeks work but i write it in  or  lines so i am the worst performing guy in the labi have the potential but the project is dull and in this period i came to a good understanding of my behaviorsexualityaddictions and so onnow i am on trackno hookupsno fapno addiction to porni was also addicted to chessplayed for  hours straight daily while others were seriously working on their projectswhat happened this new year i was not invited for a jungle camping which every other lab mates wentaround  people wenti used to talk with everyone whenever i meeteven i asked a guy the day before what was his plan for new year he said he is just gonna stay in room few days back they didnt invite me for a dinner tooi do not know what has caused them to ignore me most of them are from welltodo family but mine is still kind of unstable with debtsso i never eat costlier outside food and wear same clothes again and again and never go out for watching moviesparty i am in the city for  years and have been to a few places every now and then alone and am not interested to go out nowadaysi went for a cycle ride  weeks back with one other girl intern without informing anyonehow i felt that dayi was pretty irritated they gathered outside my room discussing with my roommatebefore leaving for the partymy roommate too didnt invite me eitherthe next few hours i was thinking what i did wrong why they left me alone why that guy lied and this affected my normal dayday activitiesi took longer time than usual in everything i relapsed to chatting with strangers for hookups and jerked off after  days of nofap i spent around  hours watching pornporn imageschat with strangershow do i feel now i know god has different plans for me and this partyget together is not for me i am gonna stop talking with everyone except the close ones and prove my worth by achieving a level higher than all those people i started my  pretty good with some self reflection and new thoughts for my phd admission i am kind of between introvert and extrovert so my room was the ideal place for me anytimei set out a few goals for  and i am on tracki have read  pages yesterday and continuingtarget  books in i didnt drink or eat crazy and have a good startthough everything is fine with me nowi would like to know any similar experiences and how people dealt with this i am okay with not going for the partybcoz i would not have enjoyed as much as staying alonebut i could not handle the lie and the fact that everybody took great efforts to conceal this from metldr not invited for the new year celebration by lab mateshow to move forwardsorry if this is not the right subreddit to ask about this,3.0
38245,fun is done all the donkeys pushed and shoved their way to the hair brushes had to brush  at a time now thats coordination ,0.0
38246, i havent started packing ,2.0
38247,back in his arms ,0.0
38248,is sunbathing today ,0.0
38249,rt lydiacharmayne i wouldnt wish anxiety on anyone 😭,1.0
38250,city in the rain  ,2.0
38251,introduction to econometrics watson and stock  pleaseeee help me to find this book ,2.0
38252, is in shock too like phets  well surely miss you bro ceci,2.0
38253,volupty ohh she might be so nice  i dont see them enough too they doesnt live in the same town as mine ,2.0
38254,i just joined ,0.0
38255,warm day completely awesome going swimming for the first time in about  months later awesomeness and im listening to hairspray woo ,0.0
38256,has a headache from too much sun too much revision stress so not cool ,2.0
38257,i feel so alone i have tried surrounding myself with friends i have tried reaching out tried pretending to be happybut they dont know what to say or are too busy for me when i am depressedsuicidal somehow this hurts more than isolation ,3.0
38258,finally home and with my friends and especially steph p ,0.0
38259,almost done with work and will be on her way to ny in no time cant wait ,0.0
38260,im going home early today ,0.0
38261,staring at the components of my new pc build on newegg  sigh theres a reason theyre called wish lists ,2.0
38262,yummm  hours of work is gonna be mighty fine on my next check ,0.0
38263,starbetter  geo test tomorrow  then a sociology one tues,2.0
38264,aaronwall rustybrick got hit too i wonder who is next   ,2.0
38265,mikedriscoll yep drive it til the wheels fall off ,0.0
38266,glad im not the only one 😭🤦🏽‍♀️ ,1.0
38267,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
38268,nqbao  i dont know that you registered twitter  months     years ago babe ,2.0
38269,philslion ugh school isnt out yet have to go there another  weeks and  day the  weeks doesnt matter but in the one day mathstest ,2.0
38270,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
38271,ouvindo beatles que deliciaaaaaaa ,0.0
38272,hello rosieb  thats nice ,0.0
38273,bry kayla be happyyyy  why the long faces,0.0
38274, weeeeks exactly ,0.0
38275,omargunz im good just sleepy  how are you,2.0
38276, dogrates dogfeelings adogspurpose anxiety still happens but having a pupper in your life so ,1.0
38277,belgianwaffling sniffing neurofen plus pray do tell i have started to read your blog from the beginning omfg  ,0.0
38278,jonaskevin and now im sad again ,2.0
38279,ddlovato july  that means at your concert i wont know all the songs  oh well yay demi ,2.0
38280,okso no sublime cover show tonight  whateveri just played video gameshahahim such a loser wink,2.0
38281,hiks sedih aaaaaaaa ,2.0
38282,pandacatbaby too late already married to a guy whos offended whenever i tell someone to shove a bible up their ass wasted bravery ,2.0
38283,four hours until work and ive slept two hours since  yesterday and my nephew pointed out that i rarely come to see him anymore  ,2.0
38284,finished sculled major fail i stopped breathing and i think i stuffed up my shoulder more ,2.0
38285,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
38286,galacticboy and no birthday presents for me ,2.0
38287,rt suedaycam please continue to rt for rosie🐾she is a much loved supportdog for a child with epilepsy autism 💔there is a large rewa,1.0
38288,logictrain you might like some wall decals for your nursery  but wait for paint to fully dry  httpwwwcuteybabycom,0.0
38289,  new mcfly layout only going to be temp but i quite like it ,0.0
38290,reelhimin morning sweets oh the girls want to travelno time no money ,2.0
38291,hey all you night owls ,0.0
38292,goblowsoup ok just checking  i like to live a lot actually just obviously not on saturday nights haha,0.0
38293,holy crap now thats a downpour ,2.0
38294,wanted to share some revelations i just had tonight about depressionfor the first time in over a year i have hope that things can get better hi ive been depressed for over a year i still am depressed but for the first time throughout this hell i actually have gained some insight and now i have hope that things can get better for me this is really a breath of fresh air because my depression has literally been suffocating me for so long i know this wont necessarily apply to everyone but i really hope what i share can maybe give some people insight and hope as well at first i thought my depression was a result of my loneliness i was able to function okay at work and around people but when i got home alone it felt like the walls were caving on on me my mind would race with suicidal and self loathing thoughts i hate you kill yourself why are you so stupidjust examples of things i would say in my head to myself  it is very overwhelming to be in this state of mind and for a long time i thought the only way i would ever be able to find peace of mind is through suicide i was hospitalized a few months ago for suicidal ideation by my co worker who had me admitted when i told her i was constantly thinking about killing myself my hospitalization was tramtic i felt trapped nobody tried to help me i was isolated in a room for  daysit felt like prison to this day i still think that my hospitalization only made my depression worse it was really the first time anyone showed that they would do anything they could to help me though and to this day i will never forget that my co worker really cared about me and was worried sick about what i told her i was prescribed wellbutrin while hospitalized i didnt get any therapy in the hospital nobody tried to help me conquer my depression i got the feeling my psychiatrist was just prescribing me a pill expecting it to fix me although they told me how important therapy was in combination with medication i didnt really understand that until now so i learned tonight after being on wellbutrin for over  months that antidepressants dont actually do anything for depression itselfat least for me they only suppress the symptoms of depression for me wellbutrin didnt make me happy or able to feel emotion it just gave me energy it allowed me to wake up and not feel completely drained of energy and unable to move for the duration ive been on wellbutrin i could still feel my depression mounting and it continued to get worse the physical symptoms of depression were completely debilitating tonight for me at work there was no real reason for me to be depressed there wasnt anything affecting my emotionsi just felt it i couldnt focus i couldnt smilei do door to door work having a genuine smile is very important people can definitely tell when youre faking i couldnt connect with people i couldnt thinkmy mind wasnt racing it really just feltkind of blahlike i couldnt get in a peaceful state of mind even though there wasnt anything bringing me down i ended up leaving work because i just couldnt get my mind straight i had to walk about  miles to get back to my car so i started talking to my sisterwho is very experienced with mental problems her spouse is bpd severely depressed suicidal etc my mom had actually called her concerned because for the last few days i have been telling my mom that im suicidal i just want the pain to end after thinking carefully about things i came to the conclusion that i dont actually want to die or commit suicide its just that the feeling produced by my depression is so severe that i couldnt think of any other way to express the severity of the way i feel other than to say i want to die i want to kill myself so i told my sisterinstead of saying i want to die i would start saying i want this feeling to stop this was really the first awakening moment for me tonight i realized that i really do want to livei just dont want to feel like this anymore and for a long time i thought the only way that i could achieve peace of mind was through suicide then i started thinking about why welbutrin wasnt doing anything for the feeling that my depression producesit wasnt doing anything for the certain feeling in the pit of my stomachits like an overwhelming feeling of emptinessbut it was helping the symptoms at this point i learned that the symptoms of depression and depression itself are not the same thing i now see my depression as a disease that will probably never go away the medication can help suppress the symptoms of my disease and make it easier to live with and therapy can help me control and cope with the disease itself now i have a plan of action for how i can survive this horrible condition even though i know it will never go away i dont feel happy but i find some comfort in knowing that there are things i can do to feel better even though i know i will probably never feel normalor like i did before i became depressed thanks for reading i hope some of the things ive learned might help some other people especially the part about me not wanting die but just being unable to express the severity of how depression makes me feel what i really crave the most is peace of mind and i think ive discovered a plan to gain some peace ,3.0
38295,wrens back to the states at the end of the week ,2.0
38296, lol check out my favorites  on here,0.0
38297,prettyxorchid yeshad my eyebrows threaded thanks to my sis who just had her mustache done  u always put me on to whats new ,0.0
38298,wiryawanivanomg hahaha i love it enjoy please party for meeeee tonight theres a party in lausanne dj kenny carpenter ,0.0
38299,climbfind thanks nice to meet you too ive just spotted youre geek too youre based in london arent you lets climb ,0.0
38300,idk how to express how i feel how do people find it so easy to talk to somebody about why you feel the way you do like i can say it in my head but i seem to not know how to translate into words how do i tell my friends that im depressed and have been for a really long time without saying oh yeah im depressed or how do i tell my hispanic mom who doesnt speak english that depression is an actual thing that affects me mentally and physically and not me just trying to get her attention this is dumb,3.0
38301,anoopdoggdesai   what if tv reality show judges went on survivor or bigbrother  who would be last standing  hmmmmm  ,0.0
38302,is life really worth living i would really like to knowi mean day in and day out worrying about bills today is the  and i dont have all my rent money im sick of living like this year after year why do some people have more money than they will ever spend in two lifetimes while others can barely make ends meet life is not fair i have been employed in government service for  years and still struggle financially nothing in life makes me happy right now not even my kids whom i love dearly im just sick and tired and everything ,3.0
38303,sazfob cousin and  year old aunt  lol,0.0
38304,tarakistle i went to garage nights you dont miss me going ,2.0
38305,i need advised on fluoxetine hi ive been on fluoxetine for  months and a half now  mg a day  pill my diagnosis is depression with mild anxiety first month i took it i was feeling amazing i felt like myself again but now ive been feeling kinda down and very very thoughtful anxiety sometimes takes up a whole lot its been like this for like a week or something and since its summer southamerica im seeing my doctor when i come back in march do you think maybe i need to take more mg thanks for listening anyways x,3.0
38306,and writing ,0.0
38307, mopemiph  actually starts on tuesday my friend  some cool announcements at some press conferenc ,0.0
38308,ddlovato yes me too i cried when he died ,2.0
38309,anyone else get brief spurts of energy ive been doing absolutely nothing this past couple of weeks but i got some good news and i went absolutely bananas made a whole to do list folded laundry cleaned looked for jobs painted for a few hours now i think im ready to go to sleep i dont think im bipolar necessarily but i think mental health does have gray areas hope this sticks for a bit  im getting shit done i dont think i have to be in a deep hole again,3.0
38310,missdra it happens i guess itd be nice if youme could just sit and talk or walk or something soon just to get me out of the house ,2.0
38311,rt taelentaed and he was so close to his grandfather see bitchees we were worried for a reason i want that airship to be the size,1.0
38312,chrismealey yeah but i think we figured out a long time ago that im not a real rpger wow has a native os x client ,2.0
38313,messed up my arm no straightening today ,2.0
38314,dinner was ok but the potato salad suck big time  will stick to fries next time,2.0
38315,rt mikepwilliams shes has to be trolling people genuinely question the mental health of her husband each day with the very distur ,1.0
38316,thriving ivorys song quottwilightquot gtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgt the other twilight ,0.0
38317,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,1.0
38318,zappos happy  year ,0.0
38319,inlovewithsteff when are you leaving for singapore ill be there from the  to the  ,0.0
38320,lozz not sad at all im jealous im not there watching it with you ,2.0
38321,i remember when we kissed i still feel it on mi lips ,0.0
38322,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
38323,im very proud of my radio tutlings their dry run recording went smoothly yay ,0.0
38324,is suffering from a cold my fraand told me to eat ice cream as it cures cold for him i tried the same and now i have a running nose ,2.0
38325,got pulled into a meeting just want to lay on couch nervous about being sick for race  ,2.0
38326,papareboy  you two make a cute couple you go well together ,0.0
38327,need help ive always been unable to make friends always felt like i dont do enough for my family not worth it and such i want to change im  male i go to school everyday being antisocial im constantly wearing a black hoodie and honestly i feel like ive given up any advice would help parents dont believe me that i have depression but i feel that i very much do any advice will help,3.0
38328,morethanfine i wish we could make a quick trip to la in july  i miss la,2.0
38329,woooo last day of school sigh ,2.0
38330,is exhusted after the  hour taxi train and bus journey i did yesterday bless the guiy who got his ear bit of on the train ,2.0
38331, lol thanks big sisters always look out for younger brothers ,0.0
38332,friend told me about one of her friends killing him self all i could think of was how jealous i am of him that was my first thought when she told me that lucky bastard too scared to do it cause of how it will impact people around me but i totally wish i had the courage  to do it like he did long overdue,3.0
38333,we even arent allowed to have our cell phones turned on and quottheyquot prefer to have us turn off the radiomusic as well we dont though ,0.0
38334,hopes june  will be a beautiful day like today ,0.0
38335,so much sun  hardly a tan  why me ,2.0
38336,penguins got pwnd tonight ,2.0
38337,so it turns out you cant change a page type on facebook  despite them adding new and useful page types cok now cant be a website ,2.0
38338,prepor довольно ра�плывчатый багрепорт  конкретнее,0.0
38339,rt  while i do believe there will be no blue wave its very important to stress that everyone needs to get out and vote for,1.0
38340,fuck i was nearly crying walking home rianna was telling me about when her mam died how she kept hoping amp thinking shes wake up ,2.0
38341,adamlambert you might not have heard of adamgazm  but a lot of us have had one  he he ,0.0
38342,i need some help i dont think im depressed ive just felt empty i want to tell someone but id feel like an idiot trying to bring it up to them but nothing is fulfilling and i dont feel like telling anyone would solve anything i just helped a friend reach out and when he was explaining how he felt i was able to relate and i dont know what to do,3.0
38343,just got home so sleepy  today was fun though ,0.0
38344,the coronavirus has reached my state i just heard that the coronavirus is in florida now i cant stop thinking about the fact that if i catch it and it becomes severe for me ill die all alonethen i will have been lonely and depressed for all of my life i will never get to experience real love or true friendship not even once that would be my life at  if i died its funny because i wish to die every day that i unfortunately wake up but i guess i do have a little bit of hope for a happier future,3.0
38345,ttaasshhaa hey you sorry i didnt say bye to you after recess ,2.0
38346,day starting off kinda bad only had like  song plays on myspace yesterday   today will be better,2.0
38347,social anxiety sucks especially when you want to be social 😒,0.0
38348,emeadows you drinking lots of coffee this morning ,0.0
38349,i have no idea what to do and i am so scared there is this guy he was my best friend and i used to live with him i was in love with him he didnt like me back and he talked about this one girl every now and then i was so extremely jealous that everytime i thought about them together i would get a pencil out and dig it as deep as i could in my arm it made me not think of them it was like a relief but it came to a point where even that stopped helping because i would be a mess seconds later i would always excuse myself to go to the bathroom and just cry myself out i would whisper to myself i cant do this i cant do this i cant do this and curl up in a fetal position in the dark corner of the bathroom and just wish i had the courage to kill myself he was my only source of happiness he was also a large part of why i wish i got hit by a bus every second of everyday i was very close to killing myself i even put rope in my backpack and picked a fine tree on my way to school to use after school i wanted to see my friends one last time then my friend made me stay the night with her on a school night i dont know if she knew but she saved my life i moved back with my mom months later i destroyed my friendship with him out of jealousy and misguided texts i just got a therapist and i found out i have ptsd i am feeling a lot better now that i am away from him and i am on some snazzy meds but he just messaged me today its been  months since ive seen him he told me that he has been dreaming about me and he hopes i am doing ok he said he cares about me a lot it makes me so happy to hear that but i am panicking a little i dont want to see him again i feel like right when i see him my obsessive love thing for him will come back i dont want to dismiss him but i dont want him to get too close to me because i might get like that again god i wish i was just normal,3.0
38350,haha yes being locked out sucks startn  sweaat out here too ,2.0
38351, ooc hes such a git isnt it poor dionysushornby ,2.0
38352,myronce yes omg imma diee if i dont get it ,2.0
38353,pfftttx chartdata btstwt ur sad life,2.0
38354,just touched down in london about to get my bags and head through customsthen a wonderful day sight seeing with vicki ,0.0
38355,suavedefine  ok now i officially feel slow thanks  rubbin that in suavelol,2.0
38356,watching snl  hosted by jt  tired ,2.0
38357,panimi i hate you so much for making me read that ,2.0
38358,how to get into healthy routines i really want to make a change recover and blossom but i dont know howim stuck in horrible routines i cant find motivation to eat clean or take care of myselfi really want this i want to wake up and smile be happy with my surroundings and have a somewhat fulfilling life is there any tips to do the stuff i need to do and keep doing them i dont know how to change  years of shit routinei finally left the house today and had a wonderful day with my friends and someone i love i came home feeling wonderfully tired not the tiredness of me longing to just sleep the days away but the tiredness of i did something today it felt amazing getting into bed after such a good day i slept like a baby which is rarei want to feel this more often make new friends and leave the house but i mainly want to be able to be comfortable by myselfany advice im willing to try anything ,3.0
38359,i feel lonely almost  years ago i moved to another country together with my parents and the first half year i guess it was kinda alright but now i dont know whats happening and i feel alone i dont wanna call it depression because ive never been in depression but its something like that i guess i could say ive been happy almost whole my life never experienced something like this i dont really know what is it i just wanna cry i do not have any friends here because i dont know the language that its spoken here in this country when i see all my friends on social media all having fun and stuff and i just sit at home in front of the computer i wish to die but im not getting myself to that point i havent even thought about something like that but still it hurts me i feel alone and the only thing i find interesting is the internet watching series and videos on youtube thats what makes me kinda happy but still deep inside it hurts me a lot i dont know why im writing this here but i felt like i needed to express myself,3.0
38360,revolutionpk  damn missed it how was it,2.0
38361,spokesmen couldnt have asked ur planned a more thrilling race commentary has been good ,0.0
38362,mum died and an emotionally abusive break up all in  months  uk i was in a relationship for a year with a girl who i fell deeply in love with she was kind intelligent funny and we had a weird amount of stuff in common she seemed pretty much perfectaround  months into our relationship my mum was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer basically a death sentence in march  initially it was stage  and she went through chemotherapy to try and extend her quality of life but it quickly deteriorated into stage  cancerthe relationship soon developed into an emotionally abusive one during this period i was criticised for everything from not being able to provide nice things she earned  a year more than me but even then we went on  european holidays in a year plenty of gigsdj nights the fact i hadnt really quit smoking i smoked  cigarettes in  days whilst on one holiday as my e cig had broken the fact i didnt want to go to her parents on a public holiday weekend but said any other weekend would be cool me and my friends all go out which somehow meant i didnt care about them despite travelling  hours each way and giving up a weekend  months into the relationship to attend a family wedding the fact i didnt have my shit together because my carpet needed a hoover once whilst trying to support my sister and her family along with my stepdad who has been nothing but a selfish cunt throughout the past year she joked about breaking up with me as it approached the year mark and how we werent compatible her last two relationships had only lasted that long etcmy girlfriend would ask me how i felt sometimes but would quickly move onto talking about her job shed occasionally remark she was worried because id lost a lot of weight i would sleep on the couch so as not to wake her up whereby i would sit worrying all night and drinking beers she would say come to bed but i felt awkward and didnt want to keep her awake she only really properly offered once to stay up and discuss these feelings with mein the end i was depressed and experiencing high levels of anxiety so i broke up with her as difficult as it was despite me saying i wasnt sleeping she could see id lost weight and she knew i was having anxiety issues she told me i didnt realise you were depressed this is what hurts the most the nagging question as to whether it was me who didnt communicate it well enough i told her on a holiday  weeks before when wed had an argument that i loved her but i have a lot of stuff on my plate and i dont need this belittling behaviour but she shit herself and said i dont want to break up also what hurts the fact i gave her a way out but she wanted the control however the behaviours continued hence the break upmy mum died  months after our breakup she was given  months to live and we only got  days conscious and to say our goodbyes after she developed sepsisafter my mums death my ex got in contact with me again to say sorry for your loss despite the fact she thought it was a good idea we werent to speak when i told her my mum had  months to live and messaged her saying everythings fucked and we were speaking for a few weeks i think i just wanted the company in a way anyway she suggests to meet in person and we end up fucking at the end of the day this continues a couple of times within which she tells me shed been seeing someone else not directly admittedly she mentioned her mum had been giving her grief so i asked her what about and thats how it came out  the new guy was a pt and im a banker and her mum thought the new guy wasnt good enough a few weeks after that she suggests a foursome with a mutual friend and her friend and whilst discussing it mentions how shes just going to have a threesome with her friend and another guy but we can still have the threesome together with her mutual friend i tell her to fuck off and we never speak again this incident was whilst i was trying to repair my relationship with my dad who hadnt come to visit me  minute drive until  weeks after the funeralwhilst ive broken up with this girl i cant seem to get her out of my head and its been  months since we fucked and im struggling with bad depressionhope this makes sensecheers,3.0
38363,jk everyone jaymekayyy and i are still franns ,0.0
38364,my nickname is so crappy  but there wasnt another free ,0.0
38365,jonasbrothers  days now ,0.0
38366,i want my cyndalboo amp massieshiiza ,2.0
38367,rt inspowerminds life is too short to stress yourself with people who dont even deserve to be an issue in your life,1.0
38368,going to watch smallville ,0.0
38369,sofija  thats sucky would you just use vacation time or travel again,2.0
38370,damn another problem found on openssh   its only the version in ubuntu  lts  ,2.0
38371,sexchair im really not that deep ,0.0
38372,says i have a wicked headache  ,2.0
38373,you know what sucks you wont everrr find anything that says emerald on it a keychain necklace anything booooo ,2.0
38374,dungeonwarden pretty decent my after work sleep was  when it usually is  i feel rested  now to watch conans tonight show ,0.0
38375,clarkalastair  im not sure why anyone would think im a quotmust followquot or quotreally importantquot but im very grateful  thanks  ,0.0
38376, awwww poor kitty  see you tomorrow morning bff xxxx,2.0
38377,getting ready to take kids to the farm ,0.0
38378,had another what i call gall bladder attack last night going to the doctor this morning ,2.0
38379,looking for someone to talk to hey everyonei suffer from depression for a couple of years of now and recently feel the strong need to talk to someone who is outside of my regular life maybe because i feel some kind of trapped in my everyday routine or something  since i really do not want to ask strangers on the street i figured it could be a good idea to ask here for people who may want to spend some time talking to me i do not necessary want to have the deep conversation about depression it would also be very thankful for a casual conversationit would be awesome if you could be around my age im  amd i do not want to be rude but i feel like it is easier for me to build up some kind of trust towards female persons i also would like to mention that english is only my second language so please dont be hard on me if there are any mistakes in my post thank you so much in advance,3.0
38380,kicked out  my mom kicked me out of they house and send me to my dads just because he say me permission to go camping and she didnt days before that weve been arguing but its always been like that ive been with my dad for two days now and since day one hes been saying that i need to speck to my mother to fix things but not because he wants me to make up he just wants me out my dad and i havent gotten along all my life he cheated on my mom had bastard kids and hit me hurt me psychologically since i could remember but hes always taken care of me economy   my mom got the balls and left him almost  years ago anyways im getting depressed im  i know im an adult but where i live its normal for parents to take care of their kids until they graduate collage anyways no one wants me,3.0
38381,tired hi if somebody ever read this i am sorry for you and hope that you are doing well i for once am tired and nothing else tired of fighting with everyone but me being the coward ass that i am i dont even have the balls to end it but who cares im a lonely fucker that no one either know or care im the type of nerd that is called only for workhelp and then asked politely even if sometimes even not so politely to go back never to reply to my messages i dont feel emotions just hollowness and sadness and i envy everyone that experience lovehappiness and you do not know how fortunate you  are going for drugs didnt even gave me what i hoped just fainted sometimes im going on autopilot since any attempt to try to improve my situation resulting in even worse than  and with a dad like mine who fyi fucked me up over and over with the last straw being that assholes like you dont deserve to eat i dont ask  advice just just a place to let it all out and if you have read this far god may bless you and may your days be good ,3.0
38382,am i bipolar so a while back when i went to therapy for depression i didnt understand bipolar disorder well at all but i mentioned to my therapist the suspicion of being bipolar because of my sudden anger flashes he dismissed it because it isnt an instant change when you are bipolar it takes a couple weeks sometimes i agreed and dismissed it mostly and kept going eventually got over my depression i thought at least anyways ever since i conquered my depression i now simply have relapses that last anywhere from one night to a couple weeks and they seem to happen for little reason this all causes me to suspect a possibility of bipolar disorder which would make sense to me honestly ill go from happy and social to depressed and mad at people for little to no reason for like two weeks long and then go back to normal again that is what id see bipolar as after reading that do you guys think i could have bipolar disorder if you cant decide feel free to ask questions below so i can better explain myself to help you decide thank you,3.0
38383,getting updates from two hours ago  whoo,0.0
38384,time to reeeeeelax ,0.0
38385,yawntime for a nap i wish  was home too ,2.0
38386,hsabri  i couldnt sleep so i thought i would check  no such luck  oh well,2.0
38387,i feel broken hi i feel broken i feel left behind and alone in life i just keep failing at everything i try to do and at this point i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
38388,im seated got my water bottle some hillsong united tunes playin now its time to do some editing on the rivers family shoot tonight ,0.0
38389,i wish i knew whats wrong im tired of living im not sure if its worth it what do you get out of it anyway a shit life a shit job maybe ill never be anything i dont have anything in my future ill fail out of college due to depression i have no friends i need to give up i wasnt made for this,3.0
38390,i hate my life and the only escape is drugs ive been struggling with these feelings since i was  everyone told me it would get better but it never did i got rejected from my dream university and my second choice today that left me completely crushed fucking getting straight as for twelve years spending your time  working your ass off to exhaustion doing volunteering  dragging your body to sat practice everyday for  hours a day the  fucking perfect essay and for what i dont care anymore ive spent my entire life trying to be perfect which caused my depression in first place and where did it get me i dont care anymore im not going to try anymore the only thing i wanna do is overdose and die alone in my room,3.0
38391,dcbrent when i got there they said you just left ,2.0
38392,jeez will someone in the cary  raleigh  durham  chapel hill area please hire me ,2.0
38393,just in from a water fight  totally soaked ,2.0
38394,iheartchezzy i wish i could  jus dont let justcal ruin yo ish otherwise me and shadifareed gonna have to pull out the rachet on him,2.0
38395,is social media to blame for the worsening mental health of teenage girls   disability,2.0
38396,grfxguru lol  well take  her no matter what decisions she makes on gear  good or bad  ,0.0
38397,is afraid of ld its  thousands milles  ,2.0
38398,my mum is watchin mock the week and her laughing is starting to hurt my ears ,2.0
38399,paolopace i think it looks nice but everyone else thinks it looks like a dreamcast game  ,2.0
38400,cinnamingirl lol hi just finished exams so looking for something to fill up all my spare time ,0.0
38401,sigh no nadal at wimbledon  crushed  crushed i tell you tennis,2.0
38402,has work today all day good thing i like my job dont have anything to do today come see me at balmont park ,0.0
38403,i just need some advice im  year old boy and i just need some advice from you  i have no idea what to do with my life my life have no sense i have no talents i have been obese for  of my lifeim playing games and jerking off all day because i dont know what to do with myself i have a few only like  friends that i see only like one in the year they live in another city i am bullied in school i have no idea what to do in my life and my sexuality is changing all the time i dont know even my sexuality as well also im too scared to go to some doctor or  psychiatrist again i have no idea what to do with my life just give me some advice please,3.0
38404,jenniferyuen is it cold stone  lol   ice cream danggit mary and i tried to go to red mngo by hard rock but it got shot down ,2.0
38405,always going to be alone first time posting on reddit so im sorry ahead of time for any formatting errors and the like im a  year old male currently attending college with virtually no social skills who has had depression constantly since about  gradeive never had any romantic relationship and im convinced now that i am in college and seeing everyone around me that i am going to be alone and will most likely never be able to form a meaningful relationship with anyone let along form a romantic relationship nowadays ive come to believe that i am broken and cant ever be fixed no matter what or who tries to fix me i have gotten to the point where i dont want to get out of bed and go to classes because i cant stand seeing other people around me happy and blossoming in their social lives and education i dont want to hurt other people or be hurt and yet i am still envious of everyone around me it feels like im out of the loop and missing a big part of my lifei just dont know what to do anymore,3.0
38406,hmmmmmm im not so sure  hello world,0.0
38407,shopping again ,0.0
38408,soooo how come no one tol me tht the mtv awards passed ,2.0
38409,nothing at the coyote the search continues ,2.0
38410,jus sittn in my room soo bored  new on dis decided  join cuz i seen it on katie nd peter stateside pretty awesome xxx,2.0
38411,luciemilan i think all of them arent real  however i think peter j is real,2.0
38412,isthatdee i cant im lactose ,2.0
38413,tonys r over  but yayyy billy elliot won best musical,2.0
38414,watching  out of  cats  i love jason manford,0.0
38415,anyone looking for organic products that can help with boosting energy depression pain inflammation diabetes sleep and more dm me 🤙,1.0
38416,is waiting phone call from my hubby should get it any time now even if his plane would arrived at narita intl airport for  hr delay ,2.0
38417,theres a weeklong thai festival just outside our offices httplebenskunstwissenunivieacat looking forward to thai food ,0.0
38418,jordanknight you guys look so damn fine in suits ,0.0
38419,hey hey hey emnoo and bekahpretzel if it waited like  months id be old enough and whats on wednesday ,2.0
38420,last at college woooo im loving today its all going so well lolz   also cant wait untill thursday its my birthday yey ,0.0
38421,all dressed up and no where to go  bored out of my mind,2.0
38422,emilyselby  get me some ,0.0
38423,feeling soo bad  i want my bed snif snif,2.0
38424,rt  toxic masculinity is bullshit masculinity is not toxic society needs it shaming men for being masculine will not improve m,0.0
38425,i think im coming down with a sore throat   i hope not   i need more rest and less stress  good night,2.0
38426,xlakeeffectkid yeah try and get them to find a way its stupid so how is it being back apart from hating being awat from mark ,2.0
38427,michaelkreagan lolasmom hugs to you both today   rip sammy cat lucky to have had you two as pets,2.0
38428,gordonrouse now gordon your task for today is to take the first sentence and then come up with a punchline ,0.0
38429,effexor and loss of appetite its been over a week since i started taking effexor  and i cant eat anything still like it absolutely destroyed my appetite which isnt the worst thing because im a little chunky rn but will this persist the whole time im taking it i mean i basically forget people are supposed to eat i feel like im on adderall but without the bad side effects its like a whole new world honestly,3.0
38430,saw the google car in my area about  months ago and still no street view of my house on google maps ,2.0
38431,bonnietsang how exciting shes become quite the companion  where r u two flying,0.0
38432,its been a while since i went on shopping anyone ,0.0
38433,karthik and iirc he also has permission from the government ,0.0
38434,kusmitea of course  see you en août   ,0.0
38435,lonely sucks dealing with mental health alone i dont talk to anyone anymore about my problems because no one cares or understands or shit even listens feel like im growing up by myself everyday i wake up and i wish i was dead i hate speaking to ppl but i love listening and observing i hate being socially awkward i hate how i feel so uninterested with everything and everyonei hate how ppl think im mean or im a bitch because im really quiet and i show no emotion i see how ppl look at me little do they know im fighting my thoughts  little do they know i long for a long hug someone to hold me little do they know im gonna go home and cry little do they know i cant wait to sleep so i dont feel the pain i used to have a therapist and it wasnt working i see stuff online and i so badly wanna send it to my friends but i kinda have this resentment towards them how can you not check on me invite me out reach out to me i know its not me my friendships have always been me putting in  and the others putting in  i cry briefly everyday in bed im crying rn typing this just wanted to send something at  i dont need any advice  feel like im playing a waiting game with my depression,3.0
38436,eleanorinitmann lol and yes  listened to them yesterday love them today amazing tunes ,0.0
38437,xp im so desperate to get free stuff ,0.0
38438,i cant seem to find my happy side though i could make this a story of my life im going to just sum it up quick i have been diagnosed with depression for as long as i can remember and i dont care to share much of what its caused me but the biggest issue im currently struggling with because of it is laziness its caused me so many issues and this one seems to hurt me more than the others i feel no drive to go on sometimes and my brain makes me think why should i do anything if im going to die anywaysi hate my job so much but then when i look into others i feel i will hate them just as much im a waitress now if i change i could be a receptionist or i could work for a clothing store or what not i dont currently have a degree but would it make it better or the same i have done a couple jobs from a barista at starbucks to a preschool teacher and they all end up making me unhappy after a year or so so what do i doim trying to get back into school but im so unhappy and lazy i dont want to deal with all the stupid work it takes just to get into school i dont remember doing all this to get into mandatory school and the things i will learn for basics will more than likely be mandatory things that dont even apply to the job i will get and im paying for it im paying for pe i mean its what it is and people do it but with how i feel i dont feel a purpose for trying i dont want to seem dark i just get into thoughts of why does it even matter why judge people why fight people why struggle and succeed when at the end of the day i will die and eventually there wont even be a trace of my name,3.0
38439,i miss my osita too ,2.0
38440,but its the averts now ,2.0
38441,i bet its a sign twitter wants me to keep this picture ,0.0
38442,wouldnt it be annoying to be a crabyoud only be able to go sideways  x,0.0
38443,taniawil why thank you sweet lady ,0.0
38444,varungm wishin in vain ,2.0
38445,awww andy saved the dude from getting hit with the ball ,0.0
38446,i want the new ftsk deluxe edition package ,2.0
38447,nycala  were friends  so happy ,0.0
38448,cybersass angelsminds facebook ,0.0
38449,justlikeanovel damn girl dont let men hurt you like that ,2.0
38450,i really really need help i feel like my life is over i have no one i lost everything hi there this post will be fairly short because i prefer talking about my problems in dms but uhh ill just say whats happeningive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a halfshe saved me from an abusive relationship and she was the best thing in my life but she was a very broken and unstable personshe lied about being raped  she made fake accounts to harass herself she made fake accounts to accuse me and herself of cheating on eachother she has anger issues and an abusive familyi helped her as much as i could and she did too i saved her from her abusive family and helped make her life betterweve been having relationship problems because after she confessed to her lies she became increasingly abusive and harsh  and a few days ago she cheated on me  it was on the same day that she insulted me and called me worthless and stuffi dont know what to do i really dont i fucking love her so much i love her more than any thing and i forgave everything my past girlfriend cheated on me  times and boasted about it and rubbed it in my face i let my current know this i let her know that any thing is okay but cheating is the one thing i can not deal with and now when it happened ive been so brokeni dont think she hates me she has anger issues she suffers from bullying abusive parenting and lots of sexual assaultshes fucked up shes the most innocent pure person but also the most sexual and slutty person i dont know what to do ive been crying so much and i have no one to talk to my best friend thats been the only person supporting kind of got tired of me and told me to fuck off i feel so suicidal and broken i cant really talk to anyone in reallife due to my countryi havent mentioned many things so please dont make an opinion of me or her before asking me things if youre willing to help me send me a message and  ill respond as fast as i canalso somethjng important to mention is that we have really really good synergy physically we  are perfect for eachother sexually too and our humor music taste beliefs religion everything is ideal,3.0
38451,foxnews flotus kathygriffin i worry about the mental health of a woman who sold her body and soul to marry a dis httpstcosciiaorugp,2.0
38452,drink too much whenever i feel sad i always end up getting drunk this really isnt helping my money situation or my studies but i dont know what else to do to deal with itim on antidepressants but lately theyve been doing barely anything and the alcohol probably isnt helping with that i just feel like im spiralling again and im lacking the motivation to get myself outits also like people prefer me when im drunk i make people laugh more and i do feel better myself when im smashed im just getting worse and worse but im also starting to care less,3.0
38453,taaylorrr whats the matter ,2.0
38454,ready for dinner ,0.0
38455,reginefilange we are now ,0.0
38456,dthschwartz i wish i could have seen the press ,2.0
38457, hi ralph thanks for the ff  didnt realise i wasnt following you but following you now,0.0
38458,watching a movie but hubby is sleeping instead of watching with me  oh well hes been up since  so i cant blame him i just miss him,2.0
38459,ive made so much money and accomplished so much and im only  i still feel like dying no matter what i do or make i wanna dieits never happyness and i crave that so much,3.0
38460,bittenbybooks  books by la banks are at storycasting  but shes never come and cast  ,2.0
38461,yesterday the duchess really cool i like it today going to dinner for my mom birthday ,0.0
38462,emily made me laugh when i was drinking gatoradenot cool xx ughh my throat hurts sooo bad ,2.0
38463,dominicfullick i cant get out there ,2.0
38464, sadly no found it on a free gif site years ago ,2.0
38465,q sad ver memes y no tener a quien etiquetar,2.0
38466,deadlindy yea but not the fancy hbo and showtime ,2.0
38467,rt carriehyndsld keep up the excellent work on challenging mental health stigma willyoung  jkrowling realdenisewelch docto,1.0
38468,mytravails its warm and people are closing the windows ,2.0
38469,  i wish i could afford the yellow toooo  lol,2.0
38470,it sucks when youre looking for  st and you see  st because you know youre  streets away ,2.0
38471,just downloaded fl studio and i have no idea how to use it ,2.0
38472,naime personne de secret story in want a new cyril ,2.0
38473,my glasses are missing  oh crap and theyre not even a day old yet aghhhh why oh why does this always happen to me,2.0
38474,rt freyaizzys  a ship that deserved betterdawson amp amanda the best of medeserved the whole worldliterally spent their whole live,0.0
38475,feels mean as i have to take bobby kitten to the vet for his injections tomorrow poor bobby kitten ,2.0
38476,right now im up and bored ,2.0
38477,exoticj thx for invitin ,0.0
38478,im exhausted this is probably going to be long so i dont expect anyone to read this but if you do youre wonderful and i appreciate youi guess ill start out with my child hood it was really rough my mom got married when i was two and i grew up thinking her husband was my dad until about the age of ten i remember when i was little and told everyone about how big of a hero he was to me every chance i got unfortunately he came back from several deployments worse than before each time and it turned into living with a drunk and abusive step father i still have dreams about me standing in front of my mom so hed beat me instead of her it really takes a toll on you they got divorced when i was  and my mom struggled with three jobs but unfortunately it wasnt enough my family and i spent the next  almost  years homeless living in a mini van in parking lots staying in garages etc when i turned  i was forced to either get a job to help out or become homeless again and the only job i could find was during school hours and i ended up having to leave behind a  gpa and drop out of school and got stuck working fast food i did that for a while but i wanted to do something to make my family proud and do something to better myself for once so i joined the army sure it was never easy but thats why i was so proud of it after growing up being told how worthless i was and how id never amount to anything in life i was finally starting to believe that that wasnt the case then year before last i got hurt and spent about  weeks in a coma and had to learn how to walk and talk again for the most part it eventually led me to getting medically retired which completely just destroyed me i had worked so hard and come so far only for all of it to be taken away from me i attempted suicide last year and had to spend my birthday in the hospital ever since i got out it just feels like everything ive worked for has been for nothing like as if im back to square one ill spend days even up to a week trying to find the urge to get out of bed except grabbing something out of the fridge or going to the bathroom i try to at least brush my hair but i even find that hard to do a lot of the time everything just feels kind of pointless i genuinely dont have a single friend and sometimes it brings me releif because no one can judge me or give me their opinions if i have no one in the first place but some days like today god its fucking miserable being this lonely the only time i leave my house during the day is if family needs something but other than that i just sit here and wait for each day to pass and be over with ive gotten to the point where everything around me just upsets me for no reason i cant even surround myself with happy people because i only fester up jealousy i wasnt always like this but its just built up so slowly over a long period of time and i just cant handle feeling like this i dont really know where im going with this i guess its just a lot im trying to get off my chest because i genuinely dont have anyone to talk to but if you took the time to read this i appreciate you so much and any kind of support or feedback would be more appreciated than i could ever begin to put into words i hope everyones doing okay tonight and if anyone else here needs anything at all or someone to talk to i am always here thank you so much seriously,3.0
38479, daamnn im not even going to ask if it was boringcome to hk ,0.0
38480,alright love  im going to sleep besides youre hurting my feelings by not responding   but enjoy your night ttys,2.0
38481,need to wash my hair imma go now ,0.0
38482,hoping that the scracthoff im about  get will bring me plenty of joy ,0.0
38483,ive been off my meds for about a month they got too expensive and i cant afford them anymore all i need to do is call my dr and switch to a generic brand that i can afford but i cant pick up the phone ive been meaning to call her for  weeks meanwhile ive been spiralling why cant i just make one call,3.0
38484,that  show rocks ,0.0
38485,davidarchie isnt lack of sleep bad for your voice it kinda worries me  you should start getting some good sleep ,2.0
38486,choyna is now open to public  hello everyone,0.0
38487, it seems like it died again ,2.0
38488,divine tweet check ladovina u crkvi ,0.0
38489,jaylastarr im the reason you need to visit the east coast we need a shoot ,0.0
38490,thecircusgirl me too  and you are funny sweet and special and i want to u know it,0.0
38491,jmichaelcraig gotcha i pig out on saturdays so far i had french toast and oj and about  chocolates my mom made ,2.0
38492,not cool my car was broken into and all my cables and capos etc for my guitar were stolen my ipod dock was too ,2.0
38493,caydence is gone for the week ,2.0
38494,sf maker faire wasis wonderful its heartening to see so much passion and enthusiasm from makers and attendees plus obamas a fan ,0.0
38495,cmrlee because when they tried it in london all the bikes went walkies ,0.0
38496,marcosnobre probably not  hanging out with my dad u,2.0
38497,rowsell  really need to up their game and bandwidth when it comes to streaming video   well have to wait for the archives,2.0
38498,check this video out  glory in the highest    big morning amen to all   hugs,0.0
38499,taliyalltimelow lol soz dont come on msn i gotta sleep i have work in the morning  fuck sorry lol niiiight x,2.0
38500,kelafarts do you ever just shut up ,2.0
38501,on lovely fast virgin train home enjoying comfort of weekend first ,0.0
38502,deepakjangid sab jhoot he called you up and went to your home as well he could not reach to you anyway ,0.0
38503,catarinem the aussie woooooooooon yay so happy i aint gonna watch for sure  that means i need someone to text me the results brows,2.0
38504,home now d waiting for kyle to come and study  loools,0.0
38505,i dont know what to do i lost my aunt to a tragic car  she was a nun joining the sisterhood at  she was always happy towards everybody and cared for everybody she met she always brought a smile to everybodys face she was incredibly selfless she always wanted the best for everyone i looked up to her as somebody who was deeply devoted to her faith a mentor and now god has taken her away in an instant she was here and now she is gone on christmas day she told me that she wanted me to remember that i was loved i shrugged it off because i wanted to be doing something else than hugging my aunt then in my thank you note to her from my graduation when she gave me a bible i told her that i would keep it on my desk it has never been on my desk for years and i decided to hide it i just want to say goodbye one last time and give her one more hug i want to apologize for lying but i cant she is gone and there is nothing i can do about it and those feelings wont leave how can i pray to somebody who stole her she was my sisters confirmation sponsori am constantly reminded of her as my sisters new sponsor she has left me too big of a pair of shoes to fill every time i try to fill them i push myself back because i know that i cannot replace her they keep on getting bigger and bigger and the pain of her loss grows everytime i go to an event where she is supposed to be there is an empty hole that i cannot fill i cried during mass because it finally hit me that she wouldnt be my sisters sponsor anymore and that she is gone i also cry for my sister because i love her soo much and that want to be there for hershe always told me that i was loved but i remember at some points i wasnt i wa made fun of because who i am i tilt my head bc my right eye socket is higher than my left i am also special ed my short term memory isnt that good and i have trouble pronouncing some words and stuttering too  i dont remember who but i remember the feeling and not being able to forgive them hurts kids would tilt their head mimicking mine the would make fun of my speech or because i was that quite social stranger hibernating in the back corner of the classroom the pain of keeping it in because i was too scared to tell anybody i was afraid that they would judge me too every morning when i see myself in the mirror i remember this feeling sadness and depression become more apparent and visible when the reflection bounces back i dont see myself in the mirror i see something that i cannot control i decided to block it with a mask hiding meto hide all of the emotions because bad emotions and feelings are contagious the mask tries to cover the pages in the book to hide what is written on those pages to put on a different persona to make people laugh so that they dont have to feel what i feel to be happy so that others can be happy to bringing joy to somebody because joy and happiness are also vert contagious this joy builds up to try to hide the pain the stress is ever much more present than it has very been balancing seems to be too much to juggle right now with  hour work weeks my emotional state my other commitments and being a full time student i can barely juggle one ball there isnt enough time to find myself and stitch myself back together the only way to relieve this stress is to focus on school changing what i can persé and to pick and peel it away my fingers are constantly in pain because of the skin loss i dont know how else to relieve this stress i dont know what good this post would doedit  i am religious catholic after being confirmed i became a peer leader in my churchs confirmation program as a peer leader i help teenagers during their confirmation process every teenagerstudent has a sponsor a sponsor is an older person who is a mentor towards the student,3.0
38506,rt sexyscotti tired of being sad,2.0
38507,why my coworker just told me shes on heroin ,2.0
38508,im here and i want to have a good time but i cant do anything bc everyones all busy so im suddenly the depression,0.0
38509,katcal im relying on my mobile which lacks reception trying to help but just looking silly ,2.0
38510,richmmz i think im going back pretty soon but  everyone is moving around,2.0
38511,better together ,0.0
38512,roled out of bed around  this morning way to early ,2.0
38513,britny i friggin love you ,0.0
38514,i dont where to go in life im currently  years old ive tried to work  times but i could not hold the job for more than  days because of my anxiety i just feel like a waste of space i honestly dont think i can handle being out in the real world i felt safe while i was in high school i didnt have so many things to worry about im glad i dont have a gun near me i know suicide makes you a burden on your family but i just dont see my life going anywhere therapy and medication have done just about nothing to help me i feel like my life has run its course ,3.0
38515,my dad just tried to suck up my teddy with the vacuum cleaner  naww,2.0
38516,my next door neighbour is blasting a bit of britney good tunes ,0.0
38517, i think i may have to come in here tomorrow morning  lets hope not you should take your weekends off,2.0
38518,heard from house sitter  no one has come to look at the leaking roof yet  ugh and its still raining back home ,2.0
38519,hugslenali goodmorning beautiful got to clean up a basement after eating my mcds deluxe breakfast ,0.0
38520,all wet sports victory lake wake comp today   im only a spectator  ,2.0
38521,caroekg those always taste better ,0.0
38522,trying to watch gilmore girls online but can only find it where i can watch  minutes at a time then i have to wait  minutes ,2.0
38523,outside still happy bout diversity  got school tomorow  x,0.0
38524,i need a solution to fix my messy life i tell myself im not depressed but im not happy either i mean ive cut myself with glass before ive overdosed on some unknown drugs and i never went to the hospital for it never told anyone ive gained weight over the years i used to be  lbs  now im  lbs my grades are doing poorly and im graduating from high school next year i have a weighted gpa of  my parents divorced and its gotten worse over the years my social life is basically nonexistent except for  friends that i hang around with sometimes but even then i feel this wall between them and me i feel unattractive most of the time because i am unattractive once i asked a mutual to be honest with how i look and they said im a  or  mainly when im surrounded the girls in my high school wearing nice clothes being blessed with pretty faces and having have better grades than me i used to be so bright and cheery with a great humble personality but when i realized at a young age that lookismmaterialism rules society and social media everything fell apart i feel self conscious about everything and i get upset at everything at home but at school i act like everythings fine i hate myself so much for that and i feel so lost but then my thoughts tell me that its my fault and i dont deserve to have right now my family and my health  ive been told i dont have the power to do anything and ive been told the opposite i know i can do so many things but i lack so many things courage beauty intelligence discipline the list goes on and on but ill admit im lazy and i dont know how to get up from the lowest point in my life everything looks dull and feels so meaningless but i want to change that so badly is this a cry for help now that ive read what i typed ive concluded that i do need help i dont want to keep crying almost every night and complain about my life when i can be doing something about it right now,3.0
38525,yayy i finally get to sleep in all week oh wait i forgot  am workouts ,2.0
38526,therealbunnyb im sorry dont be mad at me ,2.0
38527,its crazy how if you have anxiety you basically get labeled a pussy  of the time,2.0
38528, jessicastrust pembsdave  change of plan all over to lees place ,0.0
38529,i need my twin ,2.0
38530,depression followers remember what your sibling did recovery is possible   please retwe ,2.0
38531,rt maysinlayne if there was no  if i never saw her on youtubei think my depression amp anxiety would be too hard for me t,2.0
38532,rt yasmiinereda انا كان في مخيلتي اني هكتئب يومين تلاتة بس و الـanxiety تسبني في حالي من نفسها ,1.0
38533,  fun cutout we made everyone pose with at my sisters bridal shower luau style ,0.0
38534,pls tell em,2.0
38535,tanninglots to do today  xoxo cell it,0.0
38536,im starving wanna eat cookies ,2.0
38537,darkness filling me i am  yo male still in collage and worst grades have you ever seen no job and still living with mom i just ruined my relationship i am not good with dad havent seen him like  months that is the short story of my life i wanna go deeper in storymy mom got cancer like  months ago i was in a relationship and i have got friends my friends was showing how they care about me and support me my girlfriend is best person i have ever known she supported me before and after we broke up we broke up like  month ago actually i ruined our relationship  month ago but after we broke up all friends turn back on me nobody calls asks or texting every friend of me and her talking with her i am so lonely and unsuccessful my future looks like dark as coal i study at physics i love physics more then love but i am not studying for exams so this brings failure to me i know the problem but i am too depressed to taking an action after i realized how lonely i am i am sinking darknessi read in somewhere if you disappear  of your friends remember and call you but i realized non of them is my real friend but they were real to me sorry for bad english,3.0
38538,fml i hate doing religion ,2.0
38539,rebzmano willdesireemoyo advocatemahere this is sad loss to all of us bkz she truly worked hard and had the pass ,2.0
38540,songs for coping what are your goto songs for helping with your depression here are some of minelow light  pearl jamsnow  red hot chili peppersstreet lights  kanye westanne  john frusciante upward over the mountain  iron amp winegenesis  grimesjust to name a few music is all that keeps me going now so id love to hear what youre listening to ,3.0
38541,waynedupreeshow as long as they keep electing this great mayor chicago will bild more cemetery sad shameful,1.0
38542,rt grogsgamut my look at some of the numbers in the latest hilda survey ,1.0
38543,rosaliehalegirl want to be ,0.0
38544,rt  its scary how everyone is just suffering from mental illness particularly depression lately are we doing something wrong,2.0
38545,happy new tears heres to another lonely isolating hopeless regretful shameful heartbreaking suicideinducing  days of anguish,3.0
38546,hilzfuld kfirpravda ill be uploading it soon  guys it was only good things to say about you,0.0
38547,at work feeling sick  im very pissed about the schedule feel like calling douchebag and blasting his retard ass out,2.0
38548,hellcatbetty oh those are bad for my wallet ,0.0
38549,why must xbox live be down on the one day i need it to work devin and i wanted to play call of duty before she leaves for cheer camp ,2.0
38550,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
38551, boo you just finished one now on to another ,2.0
38552,doesnt really get this twitter business  am i too old lols,2.0
38553,why does it have to be cloudy ,2.0
38554,moritherapy  sorry to hear this story though drivers in both seats can get selfrighteous this still sounds unfortunate,2.0
38555,i have no idea very blonde moment actually mean wi fi   ,2.0
38556,missfarrah thanks for following me boss lady ,0.0
38557,three point contest ended do to roof moving  ,2.0
38558,kaatiemich   are you serious  i remember them being free  ,2.0
38559,tdy school was rly boring  i was hoping itd be  so i could use the lapt longer  time passes rl fast,2.0
38560,kdubbb fueledbytaylor ohaikate i missed this daaaaamnit gosh ,2.0
38561,my phone is being stupid again  say no to chocolate milk ,2.0
38562,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
38563, work ,2.0
38564,sunday im going to get my life together starting today monday yeah nvm this happens every weekend i feel really motivated on sunday morning and as the day goes on i dont actually do anything productive and by sunday  nightmonday im miserable again what gives,3.0
38565,rt kourtneykardash great way to calm anxiety ,1.0
38566,rootedinstyle nice sounds like fun   say hola to dora for me ,0.0
38567,rt taylorndean imagine how easy life is for people who have such normal mental health that they genuinely think the cures for depression,0.0
38568,im soo tired amp my foot hurts  i love bsb,2.0
38569,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
38570, by all means please do especially when it applies ,0.0
38571,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
38572,mrsmicah guess not funny thoughthat was my hubs timeframe ,0.0
38573,frustrated that its not safe to have a gun for protection due my depression i think that it would benefit my household and i cant help but think what if i have to deal with a break in i would hate if i couldnt protect my home but i also understand the risk of having just one bad day plus being alone plus having a gun nonetheless its still frustrating,3.0
38574,sorry for the question i believe i do not have to do it sorry         ps do not answer if you want,2.0
38575,we are at dio deka in los gatos  cathie keeps trying to talk about antimatteryawn ,2.0
38576,coxy big fail  with just one user listening my entire connection was seizing up uks upload speed sucks,2.0
38577,vividlyherron pikachu looks sad as well as that hatchamal thing but im happy irl  ,0.0
38578,life is dark but i know there is light out there somewhere im on mobile so sorry if the format is shitty  plus i havent slept in a long time so this will probably be pretty incoherent im male i turn  in  days im a high school drop out already got be ged so everyone can suck my dick and i abuse a lot of drugspretty much everything other than cokecrack heroin and meth i have lived in small towns my entire life and havent seen any hardship at all really ive lived a super easy life yet as the days go on the shittier i feel i never have wanted to classify myself as depressed because i dont view any of my problems as real i really believe that i just need to grow a pair when i was in  grade i moved to the middle of no where to live in a government town this place has such a horrible feel everyone seems to be a slave to the government everything is secretive the suicide rate in the town is double the national average when i moved here i went from an a student to a d and c student only ever failed one class i think moving to this town has created the majority of my problems everything about this town is horrible every single kid is a snitch or a bitch most teachers here have told me that i wont amount to anything they really crushed my dreams if i ever had them ive always had health problems and a super low immune system during middle school i started to get sick for a week at a time so naturally i started missing a lot of school causing me to fall behind real quick i started to get too stressed ig and i started lying about being sick or making up fake reasons why i couldnt go to school my mother is a saint and always took my side which made it easy to manipulate her and skip school whenever i wanted once i started high school my grades got even shittier and i was missing more and more i never really had a problem with bullies simply cause i dont give them any reaction and i also dont let what they say effect me ive always been on the outside tho only ever having a close friend or two at the end of my sophomore year i nearly dropped out but over the summer got motivated and gave school one more try during my junior year i developed insomniaor maybe im just addicted to technology and dont know when to stop but either way i stopped sleeping now not only was i getting sick for a week at a time i started sleeping through the first half of the school days sometimes the whole day eventually i got so far behind i realized i more than likely wouldnt graduate on time cause i was gonna fail a lot of classes i decided going for my ged was the best optionafter i dropped out of school i fell of the face of the earth as soon as i left school i realized how many people truly care and that is just one and now he lives on the other side of the country so our relationship has started to dwindle which always happens when someone moves away i learned that quickly as a kid cause i moved  times i also started to get into drugs as soon as i left and have tried most things in the last  monthshavent been sober for more than  weeks in this timei dove so far into my head i lost touch with reality became super paranoid and felt like i was being watched by the police or government at all times that paranoia only worsened when a kid i loved like a brother became a ci and started to build a case on me i have never dealt or anything like that enough to warrant undercovers  to start watching me he was the little brother i never had and he was tryna send me to jail for greed or whatever the reason it doesnt matter that this point after i figured all of it out and undercovers started watching me i moved to a city near by where i have lived for the last couple of months i spend  of my time alone now just doing drugs i dont have any friends in the place i live now so i have to drive an hour just to hang out with other users not even real ones tryna get sober atm tho i got heavy into psychedelics and weed of course i definitely did too much i had a complete ego death and it was hell i wont go into it too much just because i would be describing the unexplainable i definitely found what i was looking for but it was the exact opposite of what i expected for a while it sent me into an existential crisis but i recently made my way out of that it opened my eyes to a lot about this world that i wish i was still blind to ignorance is bliss but after that experience i started feeling a lot better and i started understanding my trip more and started loving life but also hating how this world is set up the  runs everything and are doing everything to keep us poor and to just make more money for themselves all major media outlets are controlled by them we see what they want us to see just opened my eyes to whats really going on and i dont think i really want to go out into a world like this one but i gotta set sail regardless ive had to talk down multiple people from suicide ive had to call the cops on my friends twice just because i wasnt sure if they were gonna live last time i talked my friend down i was super fucked up he told me that he could see in my eyes that i just didnt care then hung up the facetime call turns out his phone died but i thought i had killed him luckily i was off anti anxiety meds so i didnt really have to process it in the moment i feel like im always here for anyone to talk to i try to be even tho im not close to those people they always seem to come and talk to me but whenever i try to talk to them about what i have going on they ignore me or change the subject i dont feel like i have anyone i can talk to even my one close friend who i love like a brother we have a separation but i can still talk to him a bit im tired of seeing all my friends lives ruined by depression anxiety and drug abusea couple of days ago my mom sat me down and explained that she has to have brain surgery and most likely a liver transplant we thought that she was aging but her symptoms are getting worse day by day the disease she developed increases the chance of dementia and it already runs in the family shes only  and wont remember conversations that we had the day before if the surgery is a success it will reverse a lot of her symptoms but she still will likely need a liver transplant ive started to realize that dementia most likely will be the end of her idk how im gonna be able to watch her forget who i am so recently not only the whole friend situation being alone  of the time and now my mother is starting to pass it has caused me to become so angry ive always have had this anger in me but this is the first time that i havent been able to control it i started to punch myself and a punching bag until my knuckles started to bleed i wasnt hitting the bag hard enough if they didnt the only thing i have found that will stop me from being angry is regretting doing something while angry i cut myself for the first time last night i was no longer angry once the blood was drawn now i realize that maybe i am depressed and i should get some help and i no longer need to just grow a pair i dont want to be prescribed meds they change you and i have experienced it and seen it first hand i dont think i could ever kill myself lsd has taught me that life is too much of a gift plus i need to be here for my sister and mother i just want everyone to be genuinely happy and to live a good life peace love and positivity is the wave i love everyone like i love myself and try to be the best person i can ive done a lot of things im not proud of i dont have any passion anymore the drugs robbed me of that light idk what else to say i havent slept in a long ass time so maybe i can force myself to sleep if for whatever reason someone actually read through my story thank you and i love you i hope that all of you can live a fulfilling life and to know some of the truth of the universe open your third eye and see the world for how it truly is dont let anyone tell you that you cant do something or that you arent good enough focus on yourself your the most important person in this world after all have a great day smile and tell the people you love how much they truly mean to them you never know how much it could help them out ❤️❤️❤️,3.0
38579,damn drop by    redditcom,2.0
38580,ugh over it  ready for vegas girls trip now,2.0
38581, are you mad at me ,2.0
38582,i feel awful  stupid weather,2.0
38583,getting ready to design our office  hella exciting,0.0
38584,marksvoice just saw your wee singsong from last night after i logged off  nice one ,0.0
38585,okay bed kept me prisoner this morninggoing to go for a run tonight instead ,0.0
38586,i love myself so much not really hahaha  i fucking hate myself to be honest  i dont know why i became depressed i always feel sad and lethargic i always have no motivation i am always so shy and very anxious i cant even speak properly to anyone who are not close to me reporting in front of the class is always a nightmare i always get very nervous and always forget the things im supposed to say i also dont  know what i wanted to be choosing course on college made me cry for  years because of the fear of being on the wrong path im not yet in college though but it feels like that i am already on the wrong track i always dont know what to do because i dont like to do anything everything is boring i want to kill myself but cant do it because i know that its not the best way to face my problems but what should i do i feel like i am just forcing myself to be alive,3.0
38587,and even though what i got had its perks im looking for something different nowquotncis ,0.0
38588,mmitchelldaviss thats exactly how i am right now  yay i think we just shared a moment,0.0
38589, yes im very sad that its too hot to snuggle hopefully it will cool down tomorrow 💕🐾,1.0
38590,beyoncegisele  quotbeyondzquot it would be a great reality show that is beyond the alphabet beyond letter quotzquot ,0.0
38591,is just back from aampe my son had hurt his arm ,2.0
38592,life is just a bowl of cherries ,0.0
38593,nicsknots oh i wish i have  diff schools to go to too nghtmare  wanted to leave at  hope you have a good day  xx,0.0
38594,notsooglam at least they make the trouble worth it ,0.0
38595,rt  oh just quiet your mindgee thanks i feel better alreadypeople who have never experienced constant anxiety,1.0
38596,please tell me im not the only one whos been depressed since  years old i just genuinely wonder how many i can relate to and if im just completely alone on this i read through this group and usually see people have been depressed since middle school high school sometimes not starting until college but ive been depressed since i was a little kid id say it started around  yrs old and got really bad by the time i was  people say its not possible but tell that to the little girl who would cry herself to sleep every night to the point her pillows would be soaked whod lock herself in bathrooms and cry for hours while starring at herself repeating over and over how disgusting and ugly she waswhod have anxiety attacks and cry when taking her clothes off because it reminded her of the sxual abuse think of suicide without even knowing what it is around age  i was taking a bath and my mom left for a couple minutes and she told me if i keep my head under water for too long i could die so i remember going under the water to see if i could die because i didnt want to be here i wanted to go to heaven my mom came back in the bathroom and yanked me out and asked what the hell i was doing i feel like that was my first lousy attempt at suicide but ofc i didnt know what it even was i was completely and utterly miserable as a child and theres no other way to put it i never thought about my future my wedding nothing because all i knew was my small home abuse my abusive mother i was severely isolated not aloud to go to school until i was  i knew hardly anything of the outside world and all id see was horrifying things in my life that lead me to believe thats what life was mix in some fantasy and that was my life id live through movies and books i rarely had friends by  i already had my first official attempt at suicide by pain killers id already start cutting multiple times a day and i had started talking to countless old men online who would then manipulate me into sending nudes but again this was my normal i saw nothing wrong with it i saw nothing wrong when my ex rped me the first time either and by the age of  i was diagnosed with some type of major long term depression i cant remember the exact name this is what happens when you abuse and neglect and isolate a child it isnt a joke i was depressed i had and have cptsd i had severe abuse and i wanted to die from a young young age yet everyone says children dont even have the knowledge to be depressed and i never see anyone else talk about itall that being said i now know why i was so depressed obviously but i felt so alone and still feel alone in it this is in no way a  i had it way worse type of thing i just feel alone and want others to relate to and there seems to be no one,3.0
38597,a new doll dress design turns out horribly  not looking forward to ripping it out to salvage it  ,2.0
38598, hugs  hope everything gets better soon,2.0
38599,i ordered it i should be getting my medical id bracelet by the end of june  yay diabetes ,0.0
38600,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
38601,johnwlittle thanks so much for following not sure if i am following back for emr info or for coffee lover bond  ,0.0
38602,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
38603,lauzmur could yo do me a favour and follow giantjesus please ,0.0
38604,just did an interview and i think i buggered it up  its impossible to be erudite at this time of day without a drink in hand at least,2.0
38605,happy  monthsary dp  ,0.0
38606,crcmwn be honest  the treadmill was off and you were sitting on it ,0.0
38607,ehasselbeck hope u got it on video need something keep him in line as a teen quotbe nice to mommy or i show the haircut videoquot ,0.0
38608,realgoeswrong  thanks for the heads up,2.0
38609,my neighbor is playing frank sinatra so loud and im loving it on this beautiful california day its coming thru my windows how nice ,0.0
38610, fun post gotta spread it around ,0.0
38611,woahitssarah i believe that you are ,0.0
38612,home on a friday guess im gonna miss the bonfire tonight ,2.0
38613,actually dying being sick from the pain which increases the pain  vicious circle  noone here to look after me either sob,2.0
38614,lowlyy really jeez thats not cool  its for real the short black hair,2.0
38615,deebrownman thats cool luck for you its friday night nearly weekend i hope you really enjoy your weekend ,0.0
38616,sethdollar okay i def will ,0.0
38617,watchin some sailor moon  ,0.0
38618,lost followers im so jealous of those people with like so many followers for not being famous  tell ppl to follow me ,2.0
38619,i cant believe its basically augusti go to university in one month and the thought of it honestly gives me anxiety,1.0
38620,my voice is shot  please pray for its strength for tomorrows show ,2.0
38621,stacey is by far my coolest cousin ,0.0
38622,sigh no money for new cds  but i still got youtube,2.0
38623, drive safe sorry about the whip ,2.0
38624,heohoiham kt �u gia ng vy em heo ,0.0
38625,digisal sorry couldnt help it ,0.0
38626,i wanna be with you woahhjennifer  wow that sounded pathetic,2.0
38627,i am completely joking despite the poor subject matter my mind is really distorted first thing in the morning ,2.0
38628,wahoo nearly there updating podcasts then outta here yeehaaa off to work we come yay ,2.0
38629,one of the books i ordered isnt being released for another month due to delays ,2.0
38630,charliecircus did you ever find your elephant show  am thinking i might have missed the answer ,0.0
38631,feeling badmood today ,2.0
38632,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
38633,its so hot outside and i am stuck here in work on twitter ,2.0
38634,ok enough wonderingand comtemplatinggoing out into sunshine ,0.0
38635,cant sleep ahhhh this no good ,2.0
38636,is having a major soar throat ,2.0
38637, well you only need  more followers so maybe gnight guys ,0.0
38638, lol yeah i feel ya i hate that i should be in the shower instead im on here loleff the weather why is it crap ,2.0
38639,so the day after i clean my room top to bottom like never before my puppy pees in it sweet ,2.0
38640,joesentance hope all is a rocking and a rolling in joeville this wonderful sunny moaning  population you ,0.0
38641,less then one week until i leave for kansas for a week  ,2.0
38642,i miss my brothers ,2.0
38643,addict to quotlong time gonequot ,0.0
38644,disappointment when i was little i was always the one thats going far in life while my brother was supposed to be the disappointment well news flash the tables have turned and im doing nothing with my life and its only getting worse i have no fucking motivation for anything but i just keep getting ridiculed when i cant even get out of bed some days but my parents dont understand that im falling more and more each day they understand when their friends are going through something but not when theyre daughter is going through stuff but i guess im just too good at hiding my feelings i just want things to be easier or just not to feel this fucking way anymore i wish i had more purpose for now im just hoping that the world takes me out naturally so i wont have to  hurt anybody that i love by ending it myself,3.0
38645,has an awful nosebleed ,2.0
38646,stuck at work on a day like this ,2.0
38647,tysoncolinjoe i use an external track ball with my laptop again seems excessive but is totally more efficient ,0.0
38648,saddd ,2.0
38649,is finally going to see jb concert experience  dragging my sister haha ,0.0
38650,im live on stickamcome check it out and lets have an interesting convo  httpbitlyidnst,0.0
38651,im feeling great after getting some help ive always dealt with depression coupled with minor anxiety recently i was in a very dark place until my mother convinced me to get some help usually i would just brush this off as i never really wanted help being embarrased to need help but this time i decided to do it talked to a doctor got a prescription and therapist i feel fantastic my passions are back im enjoying the things i love again that feeling is unreal i just wanted to share this someone and maybe help encourage others to get help should they need it depression is awful and if you need help please get it,3.0
38652,just finished watching street fighter the legend of chunli  was better then i thought it woud be ,0.0
38653,the miley cyrus documentary is on and they r talking about justing and how she is dating him   o how i wish ,2.0
38654,says sorry sorry sa lahat  ,2.0
38655,marklutchman xformed they dont really do logic its kind of a sad progressive pathetic mental disorderget ,1.0
38656,deearreedoubleu welcome to twitter ,0.0
38657,rebookar eek thats a bit gay  i thought you could get it back somehow through the bank,2.0
38658,cynthialeigh  im sorry i am sleepy,2.0
38659,i lost paige on the phone ,2.0
38660,rt softsebstans do people who dont have an anxiety disorder know how lucky they are like you can just go out and do stuff without get,1.0
38661,omgitsjustintr awesome will do ,0.0
38662,ahout in round two ,2.0
38663,omg jonampkate plus  was the sadess episode ever  hope the kids are gonna be alright ,2.0
38664, i know im gna find a way to make it there  hahahaha im still pumped from yesterday ,0.0
38665,deathwishinc of course its not coming to boise ,2.0
38666,backstreetboys hi i decided to try to put my question here also  is it clear when can we expekt new single or the album ,0.0
38667,work what else  i am the apparent holiday go to gal  yuck httpmylocmegaz,2.0
38668,windycock an edgy word to describe my depression,2.0
38669,not long now till my neice or nephew is here yay ,0.0
38670,brandonsavage i dont have any more xxl agavi tshirts  skoop is wearing the only one i brought s whenwhere will i see you next ,2.0
38671,deathtozombies yup seoul  really far    but hoping i can still go,0.0
38672,obiethepromoter sigh i wish it would stop ,2.0
38673,i hate horror movies and i hate dedication ,2.0
38674,earthcrew gnite ,0.0
38675,this apartment is too quiet for new york city i need street noise to sleep ,2.0
38676,rt nandossa simthola kanjani lo sisi weguys rt to save a life ,1.0
38677,thanks to tweet pals who make watching the last episode of heroes hardly seem worth watching ,2.0
38678, i hate this  goodnight,2.0
38679,understanding depression ways to recognize and help ,2.0
38680,feeling good by michael buble listen its what i feeel haha i love him long day but ending it extremely happy ,0.0
38681,buckmarleyxxx happy  birthday ,0.0
38682,isnt it strange how my username of years was quottweetsquot  tweets tweets  ,0.0
38683,what a beautiful day in san diego too bad i cant really enjoy it while working ,2.0
38684,does anyone else enjoy being depressed i have struggled with depression for a long time and i will occasionally hit a phase in which i no longer feel depressed these phases dont last very long but theyre definitely welcome however when these phases begin to end and depressing thoughts come creeping back in i actually welcome them i dont know why and i know it is super unhealthy but i enjoy that short period of mild depression and self pity that leads back into the depressive phases this always leads into long lasting and super unenjoyable depressive episodes i feel like i could prevent these episodes if i rejected these feelings and put out the fires right away but im just not motivated to do it any thoughts,3.0
38685,im so out of the loop havent been on much all week ,2.0
38686, thanks for the followfriday ,0.0
38687,damohopo there is always the medium of dm glad youre ok  dont like seeing anyone down ,2.0
38688,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
38689,going to sleep to the fall out boy discography good night ,0.0
38690,gave her hubby his fathers day gift since he pretty much ruined the surprise ,2.0
38691,been feeling more depressed the more successful i become so a couple years ago i broke up with my longtime girlfriend and went into a pretty bad depression i did terrible in my first semester of college i was prescribed a small dose of zoloft for depression and i dont know how much it ended up helping i felt weird all the time i got off of it earlier this year which was a very difficult month or so until i started feeling normal again  after that thing went extremely well for me i was excelling in school hanging out with a good group of friends and going on dates with girls then i started a software company with some friends and were already making money and its looking really promising for us  i should be feeling great i have the potential to become very wealthy but lately ive been thinking why does it all matter ill make money and buy a nice car and a place to live but then what and if i fail ill just go to my backup of being a system administrator making a decent salary and retiring until i eventually die of old age why am i feeling worse the better things become for me,3.0
38692,no likey  ,2.0
38693,has got loads of revision to do today ,2.0
38694,rt enchiladad so apparently my theme this summer is gonna be depression,1.0
38695,itsprincess idk i dont wanna bore yu with my sadness here ,2.0
38696,naturallysavvy thanks for the followfriday mention ,0.0
38697,has anyone had depression relieving symptoms from cbd i have had issues with severe depression for the last  years this past fall i started smoking weed and it tremendously helped i was living life with nothing holding me down doing my best in college ever and i was actually able to be social and not so anxious going outsidefast forward to today ive been sober of weed for  months because i am graduating and getting a job where i may have an entry drug test i have been miserable feeling depressed and there hasnt been anything that makes me happyso im wondering if anyone who has experienced relief from depression from thc might have had the same experience with cbd,3.0
38698,burnabiz awwwww  i woulda been your myspace  cause i just started going back on it,2.0
38699,eckafatcat hello sexy  give me a right as soon as you can  love you xxxxx,0.0
38700,i dont know if i can do this anymore i really have nowhere else to go ive recently come out of a relationship which has affected me worse than i already am me and the girl are still in contact but whenever i see her i can only think about whats happened and it makes me feel crippled emotionally and the longer this goes on for the worse i feel and the closer to suicide i become i would genuinely say im  major event to happen in my life before i kill myself can anyone give me advice on what to do and how to stay strong without calling samaritans or therapyeveryone have a good night and stay strong ❤❤,3.0
38701,going to fremont hospital new hire orientation on one hour of sleep only one hour of sleep bc someone tried to break in last night ,2.0
38702,good morning  neil diamond � sweet caroline  tgif  ,0.0
38703,i drank soda  i wasnt supposed to,2.0
38704,how can i a depressed person help out a mentally ill friend were online friendsshes a really nice person and i encourage her to vent to me but i never really know how to reply we kinda share the same beliefs as mentally ill teenagers so its a bit odd to try to help her i guess i feel like a hypocrite giving advice i never use myselfmain question here being how can i help and support her through her rough patches and overall bad moods,3.0
38705,rt pablofedados this is sad  really really sad 😭😭😭😂😂😂nandossa ,2.0
38706,is angry ,2.0
38707,cant get myself out failed my board exams zero motivation or drive ive been home the past two months study for my board exams but i failed when i arrived home i was off my medication and went into a really dark and weird place when ever it was time to study i would become anxious for whatever reason i have had horrible discipline lately im overcome with anxiety and have not self control all day i lie in bed and i dont know why i binge watch youtube videos and podcasts it makes me sick but i literally feel like i cant stopall my friends and family know i took my exam and are awaiting the results ill now have to tell them ive failed my parents will be furious failure is ok but im miserable i cant seem to get in control im just stuck in this weird pit of despair and inactivity im thankfully back on meds but have been unable to speak with a therapist due to insurance issuesself hated and insecurity plagues my brain i cant seem to forgive myself i feel like this is a weird slow suicide im just lying around afraid to take action,3.0
38708,shannongrissom i hope so ,0.0
38709,need to go get the washing off the line before the rain starts i hope it doesnt ,2.0
38710,rt girlposts lana del rey sings about fucking old men dying and depressionme ,2.0
38711,suns out and im in library ,2.0
38712,dominicgarcia thanks for the movie review i want to see it ,0.0
38713,rt amuraiya dia spreading the words to love yourself as expected from our korean mental health ambassador httpstcotxibeeynly,0.0
38714,rt oraltwjnk depression ,1.0
38715,blackwhiteworld met someone who acoustic session wit who cool awe no iphone ,2.0
38716,chucktheceo djtechnasty  i appreciate that gentlemen     ,0.0
38717,why even continue why live i got nothing going on for me  year agoi am disgustingly fat trying to lose weight since  years failing miserablyi dont have good grades didnot get a job i was good at the stuff i do i made some of the most extensive and best projects in my class as the depression got worse i lost the skills i have  friends i am lonely i was in a very bad condition pleaded my parents to help me for a year i will develop skills they are old school they dont understand depression and stuff still said okay now same as above nothing new year wasted i tried i really tried i just couldnt i had very little hope i used it all up one year which i pleaded for will get over on  of jan i got nothing i dont even know what i did i didnot read any books didnot watch any show did not watch any movie i dont know anything anymore i have absolutely nothing my relationship with parents worsened too i understand it it is not pleasant to see a huge disgusting blob of disappointment at house when it should be out earning and living by own i never had special relationship to begin with only thing stopping from ending life is my parents will feel sad after  idk my brother is successful very successful he has all a nice well earning job when he will graduate later this year looks very good social skills me none nada nothing it shows how much of a disappointment i am when they talk i am not exaggerating when i say fat disgusting blob of disappointment i am not even a man i lost testicles and they had to be cut out empty sack just like my life never talked about it to anyone no one its another thing about me i absolutely hate myself i hate to look myself in the mirror fat moobs huge stomach large love handles i dont know why continue why live more,3.0
38718,i was an accident but its better that way i found out i was not planned and i in fact was a stressful but happy accident this kinda in some way made me feel better about myself and my failures in life because mistakes make mistakes,3.0
38719,ijansempoi thank you ,0.0
38720,just found the acceptance song title ,0.0
38721,naaaaancy lmfao what the little cooking rat is like me lmfao and sid too ,2.0
38722,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
38723,a little venting to relieve my chest i was feeling really shit today i could barely say hi to anyone in class and i couldnt for the life of me figure out why until now last night i went to a party expecting to spend a night playing pool with my high school mates but it had more than just that it had people that picked on me people that absolutely destroyed my high school experience or at least were a part of it in one way or another ive changed heaps since ive become more sociable and confident but from the second i saw these bastards its like i had ptsd i quietened up took a corner table with my mate and played quietly inadvertently i struggled throughout today i couldnt focus i couldnt talk to people they probably thought i was being weird since we are at our infancy of friendship i cant blame them they arent mind readers i was almost tearing up too at one point imagine seeing a  old guy just randomly tear up very grateful that i was able to control that shitended up going to my old uni after finding a dark corner and had dinner while browsing motivation on youtube youtube did manage to put a smile on my face though its been a tough week of disappointments its about to get a little wholesomebut i found a bit of light in my tunnel and that light was paul alexander hes one of the very few people using an iron lung a pressurized machine that pumps his lungs for him this man is an absolute legend he has achieved so much for someone without control below his neck although his struggle is very real his determination and absolute will power to strive brought a smile to my face i came out of that dark corner a lot happier knowing this man is doing well for himself although a little saddened by the fact he got dealt with such an unfair hand in life its pretty impressive nonethelessi just wanted to get that off my chest thank you for reading,3.0
38724,lifebychocolate alredy had my chocolate  it is impossible to resist ,0.0
38725,i dont have urges anymore i dont feel any urges to have sex eat drink etc i just do the bare minimum to function which mostly consist of eating the same pasta every day and drinking tap water im scared that this will impact my sex life in the future as it did with my exgirlfriend what do i do ,3.0
38726,cassiebelek im watching freaks amp geeks too great show ,0.0
38727,i feel ive given up i just dont try anymore i could do it but i dont care i used to at least try you know  even if my depression got the best of me i still tried it and failed but tried nonethelessnow i just feel numb empty and fucking done with everything and everyone it feels like time has stopped from me that everyone is walking forward except for me im not even walking anymore i just stopped in the middle of nothing and it sucks im stuck and worst of all i dont care anymore i just know that even if i try im gonna fail anyway so i just dont i even lie to myself i say constantly that starting tomorrow im gonna get my shit together that im going to do what i should suppose to be doing but im not and when the day comes im still doing absolutely nothing i now i need help i now i should get help but that part of me wich was optimistic is drowned in the numbnessdoes anyone else feel this way,3.0
38728,this is a status update to twitter from ice  timestamp mon jun   cest ,0.0
38729,godtier satire by thomas ligotti should you conclude that life is objectionable or that nothing matters—do not waste our time with your nonsense we are on our way to the future and the philosophically disheartening or the emotionally impaired are not going to hinder our progress if you cannot say something positive or at least equivocal keep it to yourself pessimists and depressives need not apply for a position in the enterprise of life you have two choices start thinking the way god and your society want you to think or be forsaken by all the decision is yours since you are a free agent who can choose to rejoin our fabricated world or stubbornly insist on  what that we should mollycoddle nonpositive thinkers like you or rethink how the whole world transacts its business that we should start over from scratch or that we should go extinct try to be realistic we did the best we could with the tools we had after all we are only human as we like to say our world may not be in accord with natures way but it did develop organically according to our consciousness which delivered us to a lofty prominence over the creation the whole thing just took on a life of its own and nothing is going to stop it anytime soon there can be no starting over and no going back no major readjustments are up for a vote and no melancholic headcase is going to badmouth our catastrophe the universe was created by the creator damn it we live in a country we love and that loves us back we have families and friends and jobs that make it all worthwhile we are somebodies not a bunch of nobodies without names or numbers or retirement plans none of this is going to be overhauled by a thought criminal who contends that the world is not doubleplusgood and never will be our lives may not be unflawed—that would deny us a better future to work toward—but if this charade is good enough for us then it should be good enough for you so if you cannot get your mind right try walking away you will find no place to go and no one who will have you you will find only the same old trap the world over lighten up or leave us alone you will never get us to give up our hopes you will never get us to wake up from our dreams we are not contradictory beings whose continuance only worsens our plight as mutants who embody the contorted logic of a paradox such opinions will not be accredited by institutions of authority or by the middling run of humanity to lay it on the line whatever thoughts may enter your chemically imbalanced brain are invalid inauthentic or whatever dismissive term we care to hang on you who are only one of those people so start pretending that you feel good enough for long enough stop your complaining and get back in line if you are not as strong as samson—that nogood suicide and slaughterer of philistines—then get loaded to the gills and return to the trap keep your medicine cabinet and your liquor cabinet well stocked just like the rest of us come on and join the party no pessimists or depressives invited do you think we are morons we know all about those complaints of yours the only difference is that we have sense enough and feel good enough for long enough not to speak of them keep your powder dry and your brains blocked,3.0
38730,iphone activation server down noooooooo ,2.0
38731,edoau you too ,0.0
38732,about rejecting advice i try to avoid asking for advice these days because its never much use and because im leaning towards suicide rather than get better but it occurs to me that even in the past maybe advice isnt what i was really seeking when i let myself get drawn into these arguments with wellmeaning fools who think their basic level insights should change my life immediatelymaybe what i want is an argument i can win where the burden of proof lies on the other person maybe what i want is for someone else to be the one experiencing frustration and failure to know what it feels like to have wasted their time and that their efforts are futile maybe i want to be the one withholding validation from them for a change just a thought ,3.0
38733,got a super cold ,2.0
38734,theseainwinter did you tweet me i thought i remembered seeing one but i cant see it now so glad teatree is ok ,0.0
38735,altho i like the familiarity i get with winxpi wanna go linux on my netbook xp is incompatible and stuttersfreezes alot ,2.0
38736,timanrebel  lol wedstrijdje who has the most horny hottie en britney fv followers,0.0
38737,making the most of the sun will pop over to mums and sit in the garden tomorrow the mayhem will begin catching up on  days of emails ,0.0
38738,im a twitter too ,0.0
38739,the tabloids  read some weird stuff reminded me of a funnystrangecryptic conversation we had a few months ago makes alot more sense,0.0
38740,oh que temazo hit me with your best shot en el rock band de rock cl�sico  que facilita de tocar,0.0
38741,got a  for our project ,0.0
38742,kids grow up eventually dont stress to much this is me now⚘,2.0
38743,in class bored as hell ,2.0
38744,i am stuck i am  years old i know im still young but ive been in and out of college for the past  years ive changed my major about a dozen of times and was always so unhappy with every major i try so hard to stay in school because i need to have a career and because of the pressure from my family but i dont have the motivation i dropped out from school almost every other semester thr weird thing is i actually do well academically it wasnt like i was failing but i was just miserable i dont know what to do i dont think i should go back to school until i know theres something i absolutely want to do ive been working as a waitress for  years and now im a bartender at the same restaurant i like where i work but i dont want to be doing this in the future ive been depressed since highschool but ive been coping with it pretty well but when it comes to going to school my depression always gets in the way ,3.0
38745,its been more than a year now my girlfriend broke up with me in march  after one year of relationship after that she went back to her ex who lives abroad i wrote her about  times since than to know that she is well i honestly have to say that she and i are the same person in behaviour interests etc the break up destroyed my life and literally me since then almost no day went past i wasnt thinking of her today i asked her about if she doing well she ended up texting aggressive and full of anger i wish i just forget her somehow i wish i could forget her in the way of „eternal sunshine of a spotless mind moviebut unfortunately there is just one way of forgetting a person completely psychological pain is as hurtful as physical  but during life i recognized that you feel less physical pain when you are in real psychological pain,3.0
38746, i think its just hate idk i dont like it ,2.0
38747,going off line for the night gotta get up super early tomorrow ,2.0
38748,woah haha i can believe its already after  holy moley hows is everyone ,0.0
38749,shall go and shower now and then go and pick that dress from taiwan up ,0.0
38750,too much food i think for today  arghhh  obesitas nii  ,2.0
38751,at the rogers plus at rideau  they have  dude working the first sat after the  release i feel for him ,2.0
38752,si jiwon talaga stress reliever ko ☺ nakakatuwa sense of humor nya plus very talented pa plus he always keeps every ,0.0
38753,i wish i could play beer pong  sad dayyy,2.0
38754,i love watching all those cartoons on telly on sunday mornings theyre over now though ,2.0
38755, well he probably said it  years ago ,0.0
38756,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
38757, sounds like everyone had a big party last night and forgot to invite me ,2.0
38758,colettegaskins thanks  shuting my finger in the door now its broke ,2.0
38759, ahhh i cant answer the question because i havent read    sniff sniff,2.0
38760,sitting in the afterschool class ,0.0
38761,mileycyrus can u still do that boom snap clap cheer w tori psi saw it on youtube ,0.0
38762,studying for spanish exaaam ,2.0
38763,flotus docmurdock let them know what its like to live under real oppression losing their cable connection causes them so much anxiety,1.0
38764,rotemu blimey yeah ive finally got the hang on using the cd one with the hook ,0.0
38765,iamabirdgirl nuuuuu  oh well  is good but well be missing ndp hahhaha,2.0
38766,dcarmeli per funding now certainly mr conway agrees wyou   ,0.0
38767,grass fed beef burgers with sauteed mushrooms and cheddar on wheat buns along with a salad yum poor kim still isnt feeling well ,2.0
38768,forget to mention good luck to those people auditioning for singapore idol  lol,0.0
38769,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
38770,currently going through paxil withdrawal can someone reassure me that i am not going crazy andor dying pls hi therebeen on paxil since early may first at  mg and then was taking  for the last  months it did help me but i also didnt like how i felt on it so i have discussed with my doctor and been weaning myself off gradually over the holidays i am at the point now where i am taking  mg then  mg for  days until i run out this is the first time ive been on any sort of consistent medicationi originally started taking paxil for severe panic attacks due to extreme hypochondria  maybe borderline ocd i feel crazy in the mornings i feel like i am so drunk i am dizzy cant walk straight or think straight and i have at least i think i have gnarly heart palpitations i feel like i only have them when i move my eyes though which makes me think im insane sometimes my lips tingle and when i am running i like to run at the gym my feet feel like they are tingling tooi saw my doctor yesterday and she didnt seem too concerned about that and said paxil is a bitch to get off of so she has prescribed me sertraline that i will start taking while also taking my last bit of paxil has anyone else felt this stuff i feel crazy when will this madness end lol thanks for reading if you decided to read this far also good luck to anyone who is currently weaning off of medications right now i really feel ya,3.0
38771, thanks don  i have fun  live out in the boonies so i chat here ,0.0
38772,got my first mosquito bite of the summer ,2.0
38773,does anyone else get depressed afterwhile reading a romantic story because you just feel so unlovable and hopeless bc i do and i want to relate to someone desperately ,3.0
38774,all my friends left me and i have no one to turn to they all hate me i literally have no friends left so thats why im turning here someone randomly spread a rumor to all my friends that all i do is talk about people behind their backs and that im fake now every close and best friend i have hates me and i have no friends i cant turn and vent to anyone anything i say is used against me so i just look even more fake ive had severe depression for a while people are accusing me of faking it for attention and women i go to school and no one no longer fucks with me and when i go home my family hates me im so unwanted and idk i know im not gonna try to suicide as i have tried before and i know i shouldnt but dam life is hard as hell to live its too much,3.0
38775,nuggets and  what a great saturday night ,0.0
38776,at home getting the kids ready for school kids in the neighborhood are trying to steal my puppies ,2.0
38777,andamummy no need for congrats or consolations  its mothers day amp im just reminiscing  amp maybe someonell learn a lesson or ,0.0
38778,pdurham uh oh now you have to be nice ,0.0
38779,let today pass fast  what a day man,2.0
38780,zoomswhizzkid yes do ,0.0
38781,amyyoshi whats the matter  xxxxxx,2.0
38782,its pouring rain and all i want is potbelly and its outside ,2.0
38783,  gelatoooo so yummmy ,0.0
38784,i really want to kill myself buti want to go to the hospital so i dont do anything stupid i feel like because of this coronavirus they wont let me in and maybe the hospital is full and brush me off and send me home i dont want to kill myself but i feel like i will right this second i need help i thought my zoloft was working but i think its derailing i need help,3.0
38785,the view from halfway down the view from halfway downthe weak breeze whispers nothingthe water screams sublimehis feet shift teetertotterdeep breath stand back its timetoes untouch the overpasssoon hes water boundeyes locked shut but peek to seethe view from halfway downa little wind a summer suna river rich and regala flood of fond endorphinsbrings a calm that knows no equalyoure flying nowyou see things much more clearthan from the groundits all okay or it would bewere you not now halfway downthrash to break from gravitywhat now could slow the dropall id give for toes to touchthe safety back at topbut this is it the deed is donesilence drowns the soundbefore i leaped i shouldve seenthe view from halfway downi really shouldve thought aboutthe view from halfway downi wish i couldve known aboutthe view from halfway down,3.0
38786,jim gaffigan standup on netflix  big comfy blankets  still no ladies to keep me snuggly and warm    gnight twitter,2.0
38787,elizapatricia what does the  follower get ,0.0
38788,just bought tickets for a wee biffy clyro gig in dunfermline next weekend  ,0.0
38789,with jamminjosh in la gahh ,0.0
38790,do you ever just suddenly stop what youre doing and think what the fuck have you done with you life so many times driving walking down a street even possibly with friends mostly when im alone i just stop what im doing cringe and think what the absolute fuck have you done with you life you complete waste of spacemaybe thats a bit intense i dont know but theres so many times i look back on my life with such bitterness and anger just want all the pain to go away venting and reading these messages here are one of the few things that get me over these spells of angersadnesslonelinesscheers for reading if you did hope im not the only one alone thinking this,3.0
38791,today is my bday and i havent spoken to anyone i feel lost and confused every year on this day  i just want to sleep away my sadness  i cancelled the birthday dinner because i dont want to go to ear with people who feel obligated to be there and i honestly dont want to go anywhere today  this happens every year to me and i just cant shake it  ,3.0
38792,my mental health day actually helped a lot now lets hope losing the days pay does fuck me over in a couple weeks,1.0
38793,just drove by olive garden nwlynch ,2.0
38794,so far have just relaxed this weekend its good just not looking forward to the work i have to do ,2.0
38795,twitter gives me anxiety stacks ,2.0
38796,rt lpolgreen on the killing of nia wilson and the anxiety of being a black woman ,2.0
38797,mileycyrus your voice is soooooooooo amazing and bottom of the ocean is the best song you´ve ever written ,0.0
38798,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
38799, swati omg i missed you soo much  have you heard the new jls song  ahaa youre probs all jetlagged right now,2.0
38800,i cant answer a simple question gf of  years asked me how do you love me how can you say you love mei was speechless and clue less my mind went blank and i cant think or say shit idk anything anymore fml,3.0
38801,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
38802,addiiee i have invites to the alonzo show idk if my grandma plans to go haha if youre going to that show mb well see eachother ,0.0
38803, working with  what ,0.0
38804, just a drive and a wedge then ,0.0
38805,i feel so lonely and hopeless i am lucky enough to have all of my family with me and some good friends but i just simultaneously feel so fucking alone i should be happier but everyday i cant help myself and i breakdown cause i am so unhappy with myself i ve been self consious by the time i turned  and i started middle school where i lost most of my friends and got picked on a lot by my classmates it was never extremely serious but their mean comments even though they were followed by jk have stuck with me it sucks cause i know my best friends also have a lot of issues with their bodies and their appearance and since i am skinnier i dont feel comfortable talking about this with them i would love to be there for them and make them feel as beautiful as they are but how could i when i cant even love myself i say it to them and i genuinely mean it but i just completely despise my appearance over middle school these insecurities just took over my personality as well and now i just feel worthless and boring and unfunny and too sensitive and the list goes on on top of that i am really stressed about school and so tired all the time and also going through some family stuff with illnesses and it s just too muchsorry for the long post and for any mistakes not a native english speaker for the record im almost ,3.0
38806,trekking it up a massive hill ,2.0
38807,rt nexusthread this book helped me a lot actually ,1.0
38808,in communications technology class next to chantal have nothing to do ,2.0
38809,amieewhitney anyone anywhere ever you have a life they dont we love you no one loves her get me good  hugs,0.0
38810,aw i wish i could call jonas brothers saynow ,2.0
38811, the weather just did a  turn its so gross outside ,2.0
38812,i know its all nlp and sleight of hand but theres just something damn cool about derren brown  ,0.0
38813,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
38814,tweetdeck was being a douche a while ago but were cool now ,0.0
38815,goin to bed so tired fun long day tomorrows gonna be so stressful ugh im not happy the ppl off from school already are so lucky ,2.0
38816,chicagoradio thanks ,0.0
38817,rt marcusaod alllhypenoheart omg i have post concert depression take me back is the cringiest shit,1.0
38818,kingdomgeek  scratch that seems every time i think  ask u  help i figure it out the mere thought of u enlightens  thx though,0.0
38819,mylspretty theres always the next week to do that ,0.0
38820,bulkwinnage youre gay and smelly and i secretly hate you ,0.0
38821,ebonyeeee  go easy on me im chin deep in a struggle,2.0
38822,off to more policy meetings ,0.0
38823,i have no clue what to wear to the rays game on saturday  its a date so i gotta look cute,2.0
38824,younglyxx omg why lol wat did i do now i juss was givin u some ideas ,2.0
38825,rt robperillo statistics also dictate there is better than  chance of a tropical disturbancedepression impacting la brutal r ,0.0
38826,so irritated  i needed that allergy test to prove to cjs pediatrician that there is something wrong ,2.0
38827,jackalltimelow dude totally saw that book at urban outfitters today ,0.0
38828,katelyntarver or the onejay quotwheres the panama canalquot guy quotchinaquot haha that part was so funny ,0.0
38829,its nice to see purple peeps pics nice to put names to faces ,0.0
38830,my bearded dragon started listening to my chemical romance and never leaves his heat rock should increase his prozac dosage or begin ect title unrelatedanyway i feel like posting here is an exercise in utter futility but ill try again anyways i feel like im on the brink of coming out of my depression i feel like i just need that little push to get me on the path to recovery in my head i can just willpower my way through it i said the same thing  years ago and yet the willpower never came i really want to do this without medication andor therapy but i feel like if i do anything short of that ill just go back to stagnating in a depressive slump any advice would be appreciated,3.0
38831,i dont know what to do with my life so i had a whole backstory typed up and i deleted it multiple times so im gonna try to keep this short and sweet my life is a mess ill give you guys the cliff notes version if more information is needed i will elaborate further guy in my early  had cancer in my teens and sick all the time before and since been on and off depressed for years and i have really bad anxiety and stress ive been on antidepressants before some did more harm than good went to college the first time and graduated in  worked in that field for a while and lost interest fell in love with an awesome guy and dated him for  years  my father passed away from a long term illness and my boyfriend passed away unexpectedly in that same year leaving me a complete mess a few months into  i quit my job and went back to school for computer science in my third year of working towards this degree and i have lost all motivation and feel like a complete failure because i understand some concepts but others feel like there is a massive mental block that prevents me from understanding fully im pretty certain that i have some sort of learning disability on top of everything else but im not sure how to pursue that line of inquiry to get the help i need the stress of everything all the time and my own anxiety causes me to procrastinate until everything is a critical issue and i cant stop doing it which leads to even more stress and ultimately makes me want to give up on everythingas i am typing this i am sitting here on an assignment that i physically cannot do because i apparently cant apply what i have learned or i didnt learn the other stuff well enough but i cannot bring myself to admit that to the teacher i have because its basically admitting to myself as well that i have been wasting my time for  yearsmaybe this isnt the right sub to post this in if there is a more appropriate place let me know and ill move it thereas the title says i dont know what to do with my life i dont feel like i have a sense of purpose or direction at all now and i dont know where to really turn to get help any suggestions are greatly appreciatedi think a lot of my problem comes with pride i need help but im scared to ask for it edit i suck at formatting,3.0
38832,i know that gender dysphoria will kill me one day i just wish i had a less shameful and more serious illness instead no matter how much i say to myself that everything is fine i cant make myself feel like it these day i believe in death as much as other people believe in god eternal nothingness no memories no pain being free of this cursed body and mind its the sweetest and most beautiful thing i can imagine its the only hope that i have left,3.0
38833,fricky yay  i hope youll win gtolt,0.0
38834,i cant wait  my bday  ,0.0
38835,priyan not yet will go shop tmr tho hmm what korean shop oh im gng to cradle mt this weekend with spsps sisdebbie yh not going ,2.0
38836,how was your winter break i got rejected from a school i really wanted to go toi had a panic attackbreakdown on christmas evemy grandma who i loved very much passed away on new years evefamily drama ensued and now ill probably never see my grandpa againi applied to another school last week but got rejected before i could even take the entrance examim currently applying to another school and i literally had to beg them to let me in they said they would think about it and give me their answer on mondayi honestly just want to die im sorry if this was a stupid post but i just wanted to vent a little and i have no one to talk to irl,3.0
38837,dramacrat because when you comment without knowing all the facts it just makes you look like an ignorant racist ,2.0
38838,showda time ,0.0
38839,i kinda miss slane nowdespite all that walking ,2.0
38840, have heard a bit about that will have to check it out have liked eliza d ever since buffy ,0.0
38841,i want to die i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myselfbut im too tired,3.0
38842,two years out of college and still cant find a job its really taking a toll on me throughout college i didnt get involved in really anything and had little to no friends because depressionanxiety ive always been told that forming connections for later career choices is important i always knew it was but i was also hoping a job would just land in front of me well that hasnt happened i graduated and somehow managed to land an internship for the fall and spring throughout the internship i had several interviews for full time positions l but nothing planned out each rejection made it harder to have a more positive outlook on life internship ended i had no directioni had a few more interviews after the internship ended and of course nothing worked the last interview i did back in early october was the first interview for a position i really wanted the interview was supposed to last an hour i barely lasted  minutes i knew then i didnt get it i stopped applying to job applications because  of the time i never heard anything even the ones that paid horribly and didnt even require a bachelors degree my now ex broke up with me last summer out of the blue which made this process  harder i still have my old part time college job so its not as if im doing nothing but its a dead end and not in the field of my major i cant express how emotionally draining the last year has been for me most of the people i knew have gotten married and already have fulfilling careers i have no one and nothing to show for the only thing i have going for me now is im taking the gre soon but i dont have much motivation to fully commit and study to it fear is the only thing making me study if i dont do well ill probably take it again if i dont do well the second time i dont know how to cope im two years fresh out of college and im barely hanging on by a thread i just needed to vent thanks,3.0
38843,ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this sucks i just wanna screammmmmm gotta go to work ,2.0
38844,dephina hai  whats up,0.0
38845,at the pool  ,0.0
38846,i miss my cat so much  it still doesnt feel real,2.0
38847,heyy yes em ive started commerce i started agez ago i just gotta finish it im sooo tired  lol,2.0
38848,omg dumbass ,2.0
38849, cracked the screen on my ipod touch this sucks ,2.0
38850,so cold ,2.0
38851,i cant do this i have bipolar disorder and have struggled with deep irrational feelings of worthlessness and loneliness all my life recently ive had some bad experiences thar have colored how i see others see me i often perceive that noone could ever love me that all my friends are fake and will leave me in the endi live with my parents i am  and i have really become depressed with my living situation now as a threat of a national shutdown looms and people are isolating themselves from me when i need them most and the prospect of being cooped up with my folks for so long i cant do this not right now im just too scared and so lonely,3.0
38852,xsavedgex hey andy  why you take the decision to be vegan you are my example and hero ,0.0
38853,jonnaangelie scorsaguin twitter needs a sad react,1.0
38854,back on the handcoded javascript  ajax trail two  editors two different systems confusion reigns plus forgot to bring lunch ,2.0
38855,adhireksogbs the sound of the guitar is the most important part takamine sounds like an angel  gustikas takamine classic is awesome,0.0
38856,robotswillcry oh that sucks  good luck ,0.0
38857,i mean web cam chats on skype  night for reals zzzz,0.0
38858,a massage is the only answer ,2.0
38859,what a bad headache collapsing tomorrow is monday ,2.0
38860,xxmixedmodelxx  i had hella ideas tryna write em down and she come in askin hella questions bout wat im writin ,2.0
38861,canberrajobs before i unfollow you i am letting you know why you use a spam tool that totally fills the timeline and i miss tweets ,2.0
38862,how do you make friends i really wish i had friends because i miss having someone in my life where i can ask how there day is going and surprise them with lil gifts or having someone i can send memes to but i have pretty well no friends id love to just to have a friend who i could talk to about depression and other things in my life but im so introverted and quite it almost seems impossible for me to meet anyone ive tried even reaching to people on reddit who i think id get along with but i just suck at making friends i guess give me tips help a guy out,3.0
38863, i wish i could afford bikram everyday  ,2.0
38864,no one tweets like they used to ,2.0
38865,wow today was interesting ,0.0
38866,the pornographic undertones of metoo  opera singer says accusations caused her husband to commit suicide httpstcogyiffzhkfl,0.0
38867,slightly bricking it about barcelona going and working means i have to grow up ,2.0
38868,isrealdeep hey how are you  which one  ,0.0
38869,theres not a reason in this world for me to get out of bed in the morning ive lost everything my friends my social life my money my grades i feel like everytime i get out of bed and i do things throughout the day i end up making things worst why do i do this to myself everyone talks to me but nobody knows me and thats the worst fucking feeling in the world because i try so goddamn hard for people to love me and i have to rely on selfdeprecating suicide jokes and blurting out i want to fucking die for awkward attention because i have no other means of people knowing me the only other reason people know me is because im  but shit i dont know what to do anymore im completely and utterly void of any emotion other then pain and mourning i walk into algebra in the morning and i feel like a goddamn dumb fucking burden im a goddamn mistake its not worth it the kids in my class just see me as another face and i just want to be somebody they want to see and talk to and not who they have to see and talk too i need to stop myself and get a fucking life i wish i had a bro a dude friend that had my back  and didnt make me want to kill myselfmy girlfriend is the only reason i wake up every morning and thats scary because one day shell leave me just like everyone and ill be alone again fading into an abyss of my tears and forgotten essenceedit i have more to say im that one person that tries to make everyone happy i try my hardest to be that guy that always says everything will be okay look at the future and smile when it comes to consoling my friends but at this point i have no future to look forward too no one in my future to love me in any fashion whatever maybe i just wont exist in anyone elses future,3.0
38870,uh oh blue jays take the lead  ,2.0
38871, that  shit dont work for mehonestly i think i party so much my body is used to only a couple hrs of sleep ,2.0
38872,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
38873,kylieireland poopwas gonna see if i could borrow some just landed yay ,0.0
38874,i really dont wanna work today ,2.0
38875,nickjonas awesome  awww i wanna be there ,2.0
38876,feels bad i have to lock the cats in the room      stupid bug spray,2.0
38877,i realized something today i reaized no matter how hard i try no matter what i say or do everyone around me simply pretends that i dont even exist even the few friends wont bat an eye if i go silent for days or even weeks at a time and whenever i try to meet new people it seems like my mere presense is enough to drive everyone away in real life and online it seems that no matter what im destined to be alone ,3.0
38878,shontaeb hope so too but its on the way  happy friday,2.0
38879,rt  this africans vs african americans debate kinda sad btw proves that even if white people didnt exist there will always b,0.0
38880,coreyhaines it would be nice to come with coreysgnome   of course only if you can offer him good travel conditions,0.0
38881,its difficult to go to a decision in griffin vs bonnar classic fight  i keep knocking him out ,2.0
38882,cant ask professionals for help i think im really depressed i sleep throughout the day i only eat one half meal per day i dont attend my college classes i havent done any of my freelance work for  weeks now i dont even feel like seeing my friends and the guy im dating that i really appreciate i talked about it to a psychiatrist who doesnt really know me much but he knows i have bpd and that i discovered horrible things about my family a few weeks ago and i think hes wondering if i ever had true depressive episodes i saw him last week and i didnt want to tell him about some darker thoughts because thats one thing im not comfortable im afraid of being forced to take medication or hospitalized so on one end im not being completely honest and i feel even worse after i lie to him but on the other end he doesnt seem to take me very seriously anyways about the depression thing he seems to think it will pass by itself im not so sure about it,3.0
38883,my girlfriend ghosted me at the peak of our relationship  months today is my birthday and im depressed as fuck giving the fact that i did a whole ass celebration for her bday in november i feel stupid and i want to die some friends are trying to tell me that they care abt me and that they noticed how much i talk about wanting to really be dead i feel like im not part of this world and im a burden to my family and friends i dont know how to stop going into a spiral of bad thoughts,3.0
38884,schools done ugh headache training and then gonna read stephdavies did you get the key chains ,0.0
38885,need some courage hey guys this sub has been a light for me during my internship days i suffered through months of hell depression  anxiety during my internship im better now of course through medication amp im out of the internship environment but recently i got my results cumulative grade where they add up all the semesters amp divided it to give you the final grade and it was terrible it wasnt bad for most in fact its considered a pretty decent grade but i felt horrible because my internship grade has the highest weightage out of any semesters it dragged my grade down i was devastated i felt like i was doing well despite what went on i worked so so hard to get a good grade for  years i was so close to getting the grade that ive been working towards and because of my depression during my internship days it was gone just like that right now i try to keep it at the back of my head as much as possible but its impossible to avoid it forever i keep getting reminders of it ill be graduating with a grade that i have so much difficulty accepting i feel so ashamed of myself that i hardly dare to think about graduation at this point im trying to find ways to accept it one of the ways is to get an explanation of what i didnt do well in i just need some courage ,3.0
38886,constantknot ya ok ,0.0
38887,drscoundrels thanks  the feedback appreciate it ,0.0
38888,looking for a music studio in nashville purchase or partnership  leaving miami tomorrow ,2.0
38889,rt onedovealone alrdybntakn realdonaldtrump and you are a purveyor of lies since none of those accusations are or have even been remote,1.0
38890,gracesmith no probs  squeeze them into  of those padded brown envelopes im sure theyll arrive in perfect eating condition  thanks,0.0
38891,any healthy tips for chronic numbness what healthy ways have you found to deal with feeling numb andor empty how did you figure out how to enjoy things again,3.0
38892,ddlovato im sorry about your voice ,2.0
38893,this gave me so much anxiety ,1.0
38894,only skinny milk in the house  bad coffee ,2.0
38895,its amazing how i can go from socially overconfident to multiple anxiety attacks in a flash,1.0
38896,i dont know who i am i dont remember what were my passions my skills my talent all i remember is that ive always been sad lonely irritated angry and alone and its so hard to have hope to have something to hold on to so everyday id have the strength to stand up and make it through the day because i cant even remember who i was before i was consumed with darkness,3.0
38897,jaynemcc im taking pics of the new ones now the others have sold ,0.0
38898, not on purpose i hope ,2.0
38899,has a headache again ,2.0
38900,justinjap see you at the next round  i couldnt recognise you,0.0
38901,feeling  blue really blue all the way blue ,2.0
38902,ydurran i knew  past  was too soon to call it ,0.0
38903,why am i like this ramble the fact that i will write that makes me cry i feel so hopeless and incurable is it gonna be this way forever i have awesome friends and cousins who support me but yet i feel this way i just want to be a kid again back then i was confident and even loved school riding bikes and playing ball with the boys i didnt care that i was a skinny kid or what my body looked like looking back it was bliss now everytime i go out i gotta be  on xanz or some shit like this all started when i got anxiety in like the  grade at that time i would randomly feel nervous and anxious for no reason now that anxiety has progressed worse and worse into social anxiety panic disorder and now depression i never thought this would happen but here i am i mean for fucks sakes what did i do to get this feeling  i always look in the mirror feel disappointed also weed makes these feelings   worse to the point where i feel suicidal thoughts but i end up keep doing it anyways fuck peer pressure im so self critical of myself calling my self loser and ugly and shit idk where im going with this but i always thought these feelings would be a phase as i was gong tru puberty or something but idk what to say anymore,3.0
38904,happy monday all going to be a kicken week tweet you all soon  wwwyoursurpriseshopperscom,0.0
38905,witewickah i have finished it now and i want another one  ,2.0
38906, then he can be the hm im not arguing that   but ,0.0
38907,why do i instantly get mad at myself for being happy today was a great day i got up in time ate something did my laundry and cleaned my room i even got in a call with my boyfriend and we had a lot of fun making jokes and stuff  while i was laughing about some stupid joke i suddenly stopped and got so mad at myself i dont know why i just got so angry so i muted myself and started crying,3.0
38908,my opinion i just want to get some stuff of my chest im only a  year old kid and i cant really say im depressed but im not really happy my life is ok i guess but there are a few things which have been on my mind my older brother is on heroin my mum is bipolar and the rest of my family lives in a different country also i dont have a father figure in my life due to my mums and dads divorce  however non of that really affects me as i have accepted all of that and i understand that non of that is my problem as i have not caused any of this and i have realised that i need to focus on myself and not on other people and their mistakes thats pretty much it anyways hopefully you guys get though whatever is holding you back in your life now it gets better,3.0
38909,mchiaravalle rachel refuses to go tonite  apparently beecause dey will be dlt,2.0
38910,i have found me some entertainment   ,0.0
38911,oldfeathers i hate you for that ,2.0
38912,im at a loss on how to help my dad how do you help someone who doesnt reach out for help my dad has really bad depression and anxiety not to mention a high stress level job when he goes through a bad one he cuts off all contact with me and only mewhen he comes back around he starts speaking cryptically about why hes sad but if i say one thing he automatically stops and ends all conversations im at a complete loss he takes meds but i dont know anything other than that i myself have depression and anxiety for me when i speak to someone who understands at least a little i feel better my dad on the other hand doesnt seem to believe me about mine so im wondering if thats why he just ignores me during these times i dont know im rambling and confused and angry i want to help my dad but it almost feels like a burden and i hate myself for feeling that way i just want him to be happy im scared that he wont listen and keeping digging a hole deeper and deeper that he wont be able to get out ofis there anything i can do should i reach out to his brother and sister i feel like im walking on eggshells,3.0
38913,princessmarci thats why i dont have twitter text me ,0.0
38914,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
38915,bertonatti i just bought your whole album silly thats  steps right there  ,0.0
38916,im officially moving after vegas  come visit me,2.0
38917,black books time  ,0.0
38918, id like some drppr right now la cat de frecat la icre si la cap sunt ,2.0
38919,watching the mtv movie awards some good tv here ,0.0
38920,charmcitydoll glad you are happy with your hair ,0.0
38921,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
38922,wish i could make thefabians david miliband event this evening ,2.0
38923,i have completely broken life and cant see a reason to live im  male my life is a waste im still a virgin and never had a girlfriend i feel sick of being lonely all of my life and want to end it all every day i think about suicide i see it as a relieve but im scared to do it so i continue mzy suffering my life could be not so bad if not dating life because i have ton of friends i play sports i have job gonna finish uni soon what can i so to push myself out of this hole ,3.0
38924,is very angrrry my fb account just got deleted wtf all my poems i have ever written are on there ,2.0
38925,shanninwnws omg someone better i think i am having a heart attack too ,0.0
38926,im so tired of this all i want is for someone to just hold me tell me everything is going to be ok im almost completely numb to everything at this point and cant seem to escape the endless void inside of me it consumes all my energy and will to do anything and im just so tired of being alone all the time even when i do spend time with people i feel like im playing some bullshit happy character who isnt really me all the while the real me is dying inside and is constantly drowning i want to reach out to people but im only afraid that ill only become a burden to them and theyll end up hating me jesus christ i just want a hug,3.0
38927,why does it bleed out of me my dad killed himself in february  i feel like the pain i feel in my heart bleeds out of me im sitting in a bathroom at  am letting the tears finally come out i hate worrying others but i feel like no one realizes how broken i feel right now he gave me his pain i dont think ill ever be able to let his pain go because its all i have left of him his pain is suffocating,3.0
38928,heddadamasco and arraaaaa good luck on your first day gosh i so hope we have classes today ,2.0
38929,new layout  for selena fansource is up ,0.0
38930,imniac oh ok thanks i never would have guess that one or fml ,0.0
38931,so my legs twitchingi dont think thats a good thing ,2.0
38932,djsirvere damnit i want me one of those tees ,2.0
38933,i just need to get understanding im  about  years ago  it all came out i was diagnosed with depression add adhd at the time dysgraphia dyslexia and was told i have abandonment issues my medicine for add and the depression would always fight each other almost canceling eachother out so what happened was by the time i would get use to my pills one of the two perscriptions would be switched making the proccess start over i was put into therapy but because my parents said i wouldnt talk to the therapist i was pulled out then a tiny bit later back to a new therapist i was put in a special school for learning disabilities after a few years i grew tired of themedicine fucking with my head i wanted to be who i was not this zombie these pills were making me so i started throwing them away everyday instead of taking them my dad caught me that was the only time he has ever hit me i forgave him and he cried while appologising not  minuets after the incident that was around  grade got myself pretty much kicked out of  schools while still passing the grades i guess they could tell i tried to care but i had dark thought in my head telling me to just kill myself finished high school had a better senior year than any year of schooling ever not a great student but i guess i had enough motivation to pass i had a job where i was mistreated and taken advantage of i was also not even making minimum wage some weeks due to tips i worked there a year and finaly quit to persue my dreams im back in a school for recording arts doing great there too spend alot of time with my girlfriend of  months who i love but i feel worse than ever like my body is dying im always at war with myself in my own head some days i even feel like im going insane just wishing i was dead i constantly call myself a bitch i want to cry all the time but i cant i always use to then i made myself stop now its almost impossible i constantly think about suicide but i knowi couldnever put that on my family and friends but at the same time i feel every one is against me i hate who i am im told im a great guy but idk i get angry and irritated way to easy i even piss myself off alot and it can ruin the whole mood of everyone in the room i dont think i deserve the life im living but then i feel selfish and think im a terrible person for thinking like that i really am not sure of anything anymore im always at war  does anyone feel the same im taking this down in   hours really dont want much attention ,3.0
38934,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
38935,cedar point is over  it was awesome though my stalker glasses cracked though,2.0
38936,took seren out candle shopping at a local candle factory ended up with tons of candles all fall scents delicious ,0.0
38937, does not want to wake up at  tomorrow ,2.0
38938,back from fleamkarket marathon  having baked eggs like at gitane  acutally wish i was there now ,2.0
38939,you know whats the absolute worst when you lose all motivation to do anything except for play video games all day but even after all that youre not even good at the game,3.0
38940,had such a boringg day ,2.0
38941,god i feel rough im really croaky sore throat sneezy mother of a headache dont wanna work ,2.0
38942,rt sosadtoday its my depression and ill do what i want with it,1.0
38943,rt xovanessaxo you know whats sad people bashing on people because of their success or dreams ive always said let eachother both suc,0.0
38944, oh no  i hope that you find him ,2.0
38945,birbrilo coffee still sucks though ,2.0
38946,sadbuttrue vicardave bring back proper flannels and knitted jumpers i say at least my college team looked right ,0.0
38947,  the andreas team wainting for the jonas brothers concert ,0.0
38948,theenglishrose i use dropbox  that should do you  ive got  i can throw around ,0.0
38949,kaydon shame about your job  have you thought about working for yourself  theres big money to be paid ,2.0
38950,richardgiles congrats to you and your team for your half marathon ,0.0
38951,road traffic accident at brislington park amp ride causing delays to service  ,2.0
38952,hey you guys ,0.0
38953,my cheese on toast has made me sick ,2.0
38954,im crying for no apparent reason its  where im at and i dont want to wake up anyone but ive been bawling my eyes out for at least an hour and i dont seem to get tired from it i felt so good the last couple of weeks and now it all seems to come crashing down i dont think i can make it to work tomorrow im just so drained this is my first post here and typing this is already helping me thank you for reading this if you do i hope you feel better than i do,3.0
38955,tolmasky can you say me how i init a twodimensional array in objectivej i fighting with this problem about  days   var args,2.0
38956,tried boxing with sneakers ended up having blisters on my feet ouch ,2.0
38957,snl season finale  so depressing how everything is ending,2.0
38958,kdc nite enjoy your bath bomb ,0.0
38959,well going to bed and having my daughter and son read me a book ,0.0
38960,trying to prevent this anger from settling into disregard too pissed to stop caring ,2.0
38961,i think its time for a myspace eedit i just ceebs doing it besides i am writing my diary for amelia ,0.0
38962,what about being aware of it but not being able to stop it i have severe depression and tried suicide twice i am aware of everything i do even the bad thoughts i have i know i shouldnt be having and i have this weird sensation of being two people at once one that is totally fine and really calm and another one that can be really obsessive and just wants to kill herself or hurt herself to prove to others that shes hurting because of them i really dont know what to do with myself and have tried many doctors and medication but nothing seems to work,3.0
38963,depression and anxiety coming to ruin my happy day,1.0
38964,french onion soup is full of delicious win also i miss college so badly ,2.0
38965,im so bored and so lazy that im not even attempting to get out of bed lol  jennys tonight probably should be epic ,0.0
38966,keryje about  mins blackberrystorm camera is amazingly slow  miss you too babes,2.0
38967,how is everyone the weather is wonderful   ,0.0
38968,maxine waters is a sad old rich woman who has come to the end she just doesnt know it yet or is afraid to admit i ,1.0
38969,therealjordin goodnight ,0.0
38970,dominican milfs are the best  slap their kids in front of airport security and then smile at them  ps they all got fatties ,0.0
38971,cant believe the sun isnt running an article on eurovision online this morning ah well its sfa sunday thats more important ,0.0
38972,doesnt look like i will make it to eabf cant afford it fail  call me when yall are done there though maybe we can all hang out,2.0
38973,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
38974,waterprotein aw thanks dear  nope didnt have any of those did drink chinese rice wine with dad though ,0.0
38975,does anyone else hate his own image in photos i hate seeing myself in photos when anyone what to take a pic or a selfie i always try to avoid apearing in the pic and if i am i hate looking at it i feel ok when i look at the mirror but in photos is freaking awful all the time ,3.0
38976,treelova i take it you havent got my sms hm ah will be joining you on the offerhunt there soon ,0.0
38977,this is corrupt file city come on ftp upload the files ,2.0
38978,my poor baby is still super sick  hes having chills too its scary,2.0
38979,oxfamreject oh thanks  ill watch it in a bit when this one finishes ,0.0
38980,just received a hilarious drunken phone call from her besty ,0.0
38981,rt cygarrillo hola ¿quieren hora sad 👀💔,2.0
38982,at  i realized i just did everything the easy way and now i fell like i couldve worked much harder entering into college i didnt have any ambition it felt like something i had to do the next step after school in fact it felt like it was just another high school my dad killed himself  years prior and it was something that made me hollow i thought i wasnt worth it for himevery day felt like i was in train wagon things just rolling nothing seemed important or worth fighting for i just did things without any passion nor will that feeling lasted until i had to work on my master thesis i just loved doing research thought i wanted to do this all my lifewell with my  gpa its not possible in europe where i live you have to have a  gpa minimum people wont consider you if you apply for a phd even with the most stellar recommendation letters for a year my teacher thought i had at least  because she considered me highly intelligent i spent a year thinking and researching for my thesis proposal she told me that i had a chance to apply but yesterday she went over my application and saw my gpaghaenor im afraid it wont be possible this waythat said she told me i could work for several years and then do my thesis because my professional baggage would then be useful that way i just felt like i just blew my chances i really thought itd be possible to apply and become a grad student and just work my ass off on research i just saw one of my former classmates profile shes just doing everything i wish i could do i shouldve worked so much harder i envy her im not jealous she earned iti feel sad and guilty not having understood how important undergrad was i feel worthless and well pretty emptyi needed to vent do we become wise through our mistakes,3.0
38983, oh crap ure absolutely right its super hot actually ,2.0
38984,moonfrye that would be my son without a doubt hes  years old and the air that i breathe amp the love of my life ,0.0
38985,theuverseguy is uverse available in delafield wi your web site is unable to tell me if it is ,2.0
38986,geekachu xlilcx ha it would have matched my poor attempt at growing a goatee beard ,0.0
38987,i want to go on mileys tour  but i cannot  i live in germany and she dont comes to germany  im sooooo sad ,2.0
38988,ready for home but still have a lil over an hr left ,2.0
38989,is tooooooooo cold ,2.0
38990,i just finished writing my suicide note  mom i cannot even try to understand the way you are feeling right now same as no one could even try to comprehend the way i felt and why did i do what i did i need to let you know i love you with all my heart and it was that love what kept me going for so long i am sorry i am writing this in english but for some strange reason i feel i express myself better this way it is strange but so was everything in my lifetell my brothers i love them that it is my true hope they can find happiness and the courage to live through any fallback they might experience i wouldnt want them to feel the way i didin regards to him even now i will not sugar coat anything i hated him and felt a profound resentment towards him i fucking despised him  it was not because he wasnt a good and loving father it was because of his pathetic genes that unfortunately i inherited they were the reason i hated my existence that i was deprived of a normal and fulfilling life i was a monstrous person with zero physical appealinghow could such a beautiful woman get together with someone so pathetic that is something i never understood you deserved better and so did i i was never given a chance in the game of life just a project destined to failure from the starti had no place in this world this was my objective observable and irrevocable truth what i needed in life to be happy was simply out of my reach and it was so wired within myself that i just couldnt let it go i wanted to feel what it is to be loved and desired a simple glimpse of that realitythe only thing i wanted in life was the chance to be happy but the world didnt think i deserved that chance how could i have kept going when the only thing that mattered to me was unattainable when everything else turned to ashes in front of my presencei was done being unhappy due to things out of my control my only mistake in life was being ugly there was someone really special within me worthy of being loved i could see glimpses of him from time to time but nature is always more powerful and i couldnt escape the curse of this shellall of this might sound selfish to you but you were not there to experience the constant rejection the pain i had to endure you see i tried to have hope to open myself to the world just to end up being crushed by it every time do you think it was funny to be ignored by someone you have feelings for whom you tried to give all your attention and help along the way do you think it was funny to find out this person thinks nothing of you and would rather be with someone that doesnt really cares just because of his looks you will be surprised to find out the amount of times this happened to meyou know how heartbreaking it was when i had to hear women talk about how good looking a guy was in front of my presence i was never that for anybody i just wished they could see me with those eyesnobody ever looked and thought of me that way it didnt matter how much i tried i got tired of seeing others find happiness and enjoy their lifes while i was left in constant sorrow i was heartbroken by default that was my natural state the one nature intended for me unchangeable i was sick of it with no desire to make it furtheryou cannot begin to imagine how bad i felt about myself when i had to go to work every day and hear people talking about their lifes i had absolutely nothing going on for me they exuded life while i exuded lonelinessi had to isolate myself otherwise i would have perished before i was a piece of meat rotting in the street no chance for me to be happy you might wonder why i didnt ask for help or talked with anybody about this it would not have made a difference i was sick of everybody feeding me platitudes messages of hope that the world then proceeded to shatter no personality didnt matter nor was i able to find happiness on my own they would have said i was just depressedno i was just aware of a reality i couldnt face anymore there is no point in trying to fix someone that is already broken beyond repairi couldnt stand being ignored anymore like some kind of subhuman every one of this last days i went to bed hoping to never open my eyes again and when i did i felt a soul crushing pain within my heartevery man has a breaking point and i had reached mine it was time to learn to live without love or to die from the lack of it and the first option wouldnt do it for mehow could all have been in my mind when i asked the world the right questions only to receive the same answer every timejohn you were the closest to a friend i ever had how sad is that those stupid conversations we had meant everything to me even if hearing about your life was a constant reminder of what was missing in mine you are awesome and i love you man you were given a precious gift by life and i hope you can see and appreciate how lucky you are keep living to the max as i know you have so far i was not training a teammate i was training my replacementyouyou were the spark that lighted the dynamite someone so beautiful you shattered my heart with your mere presence i had to see you every one of my days and it was a torture is there anything worst than dreaming about something you know will never come true like a mirage in the desert you were out of my reach not part of my reality as much as i tried to get your attentioni loved you in my own weird and strange way maybe you wouldnt recognise it as such after all i didnt really know you but those small gestures and meaningless conversations were my stupid way of expressing my feelings all i wanted was for you to see me in the same way i saw you but nature was a barrier that i couldnt overcome you didnt and i came to understand no one ever would no matter how much i wanted to i was not good enough for you and i dont judge you because of itmost of the time i was not good even for myself  i hope you are really happy in life i really do someone so special is always meant to shine to live and experience what i couldnt i want you to know you have nothing to do with this no influence over my decision on the contrary i am thankful because you opened my eyes and made me face my crude truthwhat was in me to bare to share to inspire and fall in love with i only pretended to reach out because of my insatiable desire and loneliness i had forgotten how to be human a long time ago the standard parts that are supposed to be there in people in mewerenti forgive you for causing so much pain to my heart i forgive you even if there is nothing to forgive you didnt deserve any resentment from my part you had done nothing wrong even if at some point i wanted to see it that way once i told you i just wanted to see you happy and it was a truth that i standed for even when it made it harder for me to let go that smile and laugh that filled my heart with momentary joy sufficed to mei wish i was a better and stronger person but this was all i had there was nothing else in here for me there was too much beauty in this world but it was not meant for mei was already dead i died with my hopes of feeling loved and desired with my chances of being normal emotionally and physically with every one of my crushed dreams all left was an empty shell drifting in an unforgiving world shoving constantly what could have been what life was meant to be doing this was just my way to fulfill my inescapable destiny i didnt know how i could keep waking up in the morning knowing that even when i tried so hard to make myself happy there were essential things i couldnt achieve i felt so spent so unmotivated so lacking in a futureyet the time i had left on this earth spanned onward unfathomably you cannot even begin to imagine how haunting and hard was for me to want to open my eyes when i knew i would wake up to nothing but the unachievableeverything could have been different if only i was able to change my appearance i fantasized about this all the time and i knew deep inside it was my only obstacle to achieving what i really wanted in life and it was painful to acknowledge that something so banal so out of my control would be the end of me it was sad to realize that my only alternative to this curse was eternal nothingness i was trapped with no real options running on empty no way out everything every single word movement interaction attempt and action shattered my heart and there was nothing more to break in there it was pure agonyi just wanted to fit i craved normality simplicity that comforting feeling of finally belonging to know i was worthy of being loved it was not possible not real i wasnt like them perhaps i just didnt deserve to and i dont know why i was very weary though my tears did not longer flow my eyes were tired of weeping and my heart sick of woeplease respect this decision and forgive me for all the pain i have caused to you i am really sorry this life just became too much for me to bearbe good guys and remember that i love you dont suffer because of me i am finally in peace or at least i hope soif theres damnation i think i know exactly how it will be and i will feel right at homei will always be in your hearts if you think of me not the person who has just left perhaps that little child with hope in his heart that someday i wasi dont know a better version of me just remember me that wayonly in death we will be equals nothing but shadows and dust ,3.0
38991,rt musictogrieveto eerily haunting but beautifully sad take on relationship breakuponce upon impossible  fiona joy hawkinsmusic to g,1.0
38992,im so sad,2.0
38993,anyone gets triggeredor panic attacks by something they find weird ehh i really dont know how to say this but here goesyoull find a long story short in the endi used to be in a relationship with this girl in my collegeim in vet medicine and the relationship was literally fucked by our mutual friends the relationship was so crowded and it seemed like a jungle more over i felt that she didnt care anymore so i decided to give it up however that took time i just wanted to do everything in my power to help fix the situation there was a time she was invited to a wedding in which she took a selfie and it was posted as her profile picture on fb she had excessive make up and didnt wear her glasses everything was just differentmy problem isnt the make up obviously idc but the picture itself whenever i see it i feel a huge sense of dread and im really scared i guess it really is a panic attack i would feel bad seeing the photo even after days but things get really bad and like any person with crippling depression i decided not to talk to her for a long timerecently i started trying to talk to her again and things has been going smooth  i asked her something about the college and she sent me a google drive link for the things i asked about near the google drive was her name and her profile picture yes you guessed it its the fucking wedding picture she took i honestly dont know what is wrongone of the mistakes i think i did was knowing people from my zone like people in my collegeas in getting to a love relationship because people are around and some can force themselves and this is why our relationship got ruined and i had a falling out with one of my friendsnot anymore since hes the reason everything went to shit like i wish i had known something thats like  away from my college i would have felt better not seeing her  and shes pretty okay with academicsi am better but she likes books and like studies all the timeeven thou i get better grades so she has the sources and study material and shit so guys tag her and she tags them and some are so persistence to me its not that i distrust her but its that i know how guys think we have been talking recently like i said and shes was being flirty which i honestly found weird too i wouldnt even call her name until  month after we talked back and she even remarked and saidwow you said my name i honestly dont know how i feel i guess i like her but at the same time i think she is not the one some of the girls i met were really straight forward and i guess thats my type when she gets sad i dont know whenwhyhow or what made her sad or was it even me and something she just disappears out of no where but at the same time i really like talking to heras friends but i would love to know someone better and get into a relationship with the other person and maybe keep my ex as a friendwhich i am fine with i started catching feelings after i decided that i have no one else to talk to i like to say that i am a mathematician i plan everything ahead of time backup plans i add different variables and have countless mind maps and i can stop myself from doing things that im sure ill regret later such as me talking to an ex i returned to talk to this girl cuz the relationship ended like shit and all i wanted was some explanation and so things got dragged out and yeahabout the picture do you think i should just tell her that i fucking hate that picture and it makes me want to fling myself of the nearest balcony or what should i try to dolong story shorti had a gf before we broke up she went to a wedding she took a pic which she posted on fb and i fucking hate that photo and it causes me to have panic attacks and feel like shit we broke up talked together again got to see the picture again felt even worsethou please read what i said its also some of the things that happened ,3.0
38994,torzilala how rude does it sound ,0.0
38995,boring  pengen makan sour sally,2.0
38996,ickest i am isnt that sad  ,2.0
38997,paramount pictures mental health break ,1.0
38998,my depression i just want to be rich wealth and a happy family life so that i dont worry about tomorrow but deep down i know that one of these tomorrows i will be jumping off a bridge no matter how rich i am anyone else feel me,3.0
38999,hyuninc ill be there sunday night up until thursday morning heard it is rainy   at least ill be used to it ,2.0
39000,kiirosora university cames first but without working i can study any longer   keep your good mood and share it g,2.0
39001,so ready for the states cant wait to take off ,0.0
39002,poor chris sale after an amazing game  innings twelve strikeouts no runs our closer couldnt finish it yd loss  ,2.0
39003,a bad day today  my dog died   im soooo sad ,2.0
39004,thefemgeek you will have a fantastic day ,0.0
39005,danamoos sun is going to win today i think which translates to i hope to god it does or ill scream ,0.0
39006, no i had done it  times before that was just the first true time there were absolutely no problems ,0.0
39007,took the kids to see up    they liked it it made me cry ,2.0
39008,i wish i had someone to go to the movies with ,2.0
39009,xgetwellcardsx itstimetolive thank you ,0.0
39010,going to bed cant wait to wake up and greet the day with a sunny outlook and an overwhelming need to do things for others  its hopeless,2.0
39011,spring forward specially from dzign for you  ,0.0
39012,electrograffiti oh i applied ages ago never got an invite though ,2.0
39013,soaking up some knowledge by watching jeopardy ,0.0
39014,practical exams for  hours later  damn nervous and scared and its killing me ,2.0
39015,home sweet home i have approximately  days left before i fly to new york ,0.0
39016,i am so tired ,2.0
39017,im not ok when anyone asks how im doing i respond with im ok honestly speaking im not ok i spent nearly an hour last night having an emotional breakdown i was rejected for a promotion about  weeks ago im really hating my job and have little interest in staying ive tried applying for other jobs but no luck dont have enough money saved to up and quit my social life is awful i have maybe  close friend to confide in but i feel they are getting distant and seem happier when they socialize with others i havent been in a relationship in nearly  years and ive been incredibly lonely lately my sister recently started dating and im really happy for her but my mom likes to make comments that im jealous on top of that my mom is asking what my future plans are and if im planning on going to grad school which i once spoke about i dont have the guts to tell her that i have no fucking clue what i want to do with my life im overweight and incredibly insecure i keep trying to motivate myself to go to the gym and told myself that id get in shape starting yesterday yet im still laying in my bed i know that im overwhelmed and suffering from depression i just want someone besides myself to tell me that everything will be ok im tired of feeling like my only cheerleader,3.0
39018,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
39019,just rewatched jimmy fallen  from last night and still love the hangover cures with bradley laughed so hard nearly peed my pants ,2.0
39020,peaceingreen  i hate chemistry too  haha,2.0
39021,i added a video to a youtube playlist httpstcomqquvrngpp dur dur chalali sad marathi songkay mi bolun gelo whatsapp video,2.0
39022,raimoulavere see on ammu juba selge kui seebivesi kes tahab d peale kihla vedada ,2.0
39023,getting ready for town with hannah she always meets up with me when shes bored   ,0.0
39024,nearly every evening sometimes all you can do is lie in bedand hope to fall asleep before you fall apart,3.0
39025,jennybryde thanks for entering my contest  glad you like my work,0.0
39026,i am that one person that has fake depression hello everybodyso you know those people that dont really have depression but pretend they do yeah this is me it doesnt mean life is easy for me everything is still very difficult and was like that for the past  months its just not bad enough to be called depression everybody else has it much much worse i just dont really feel good anymore and i just know that im pretending and i dont really deserve anything because of this im just in this gray zone where its not bad enough to remotely think about getting any help i dont deserve but not good enough for me to be happy and everything is just getting worsehow can i realize that im just a really lazy and stupid idiot that has it much better than everybody else but still whines about his life to himself,3.0
39027,new on wonkhe lgbtq students mental health what weve found and what the sector needs to do   ,1.0
39028,my bb  kl shy  klkum  add mara thanya plz ,2.0
39029,mariahsukfan lmao i just loved that hatand the nice shot of mariahs cleavage lmao jk aww thats awesome tho i know you were happy ,0.0
39030,off to get ready for bgt  tweet you all soon,0.0
39031,lukeboatright  ok luke you get it  just because you amuse my mum,0.0
39032,freedommoates realdonaldtrump your an idiot sad,2.0
39033,im so frustrated im a very impatient person oh and i read a lil of romeo an juliet and it was good ,0.0
39034,hi whats going on today im on vacation and as usual it sucks no white sandy beach for me ,2.0
39035,hcor  i guess,2.0
39036,cant remember happiness when was the last time you were happy and i sont mean smt like laughing about a joke i mean really happysimce im depressed i think the longest time i was happy was about  min and i cant even remember how it felt to be happy as a little kidbefore i was depressed,3.0
39037,conflicting feelings i really wish i wasnt alive but i love my boyfriend and my dog amp mom  brothers so i guess ill stay here and suffer i really hope i wont go through an episode and end up taking my own life i cant bare to make others unhappy it makes me feel so much guilt,3.0
39038,lillylovely i love sundays too but prefer saturdays ,0.0
39039,just hit something as hard as i could after hardening my fists for probably  months fuckers are like anvils  lol,0.0
39040,porn please stop following me on twitter ,2.0
39041,jodiemarsh you can follow me  i need followers that i actually like lol  x,0.0
39042,taohuang thank you my father taught chinese literature for decades can you tell ,0.0
39043,craftyhope hey wonderful we all need a little fun now and again ,0.0
39044,bored needs to be motivated  im not looking for redemption ,0.0
39045,lcrosslro fueling progressing normally weather dicey tho  launch in lt one hour atlascam looking good tentacles crossed,2.0
39046,hamzadakid goctopus iphones rawkk ,0.0
39047,was in bed at  and have been up since  good at all  at least i dont have a hangover  the joys of not drinking ,2.0
39048,snowleopardess very grey and wet indeed ,2.0
39049,thecultureofme ouch no rave reviews your twitter is the defacto live nyc party review source  ,0.0
39050,going to bed so flippen tired nicks in ny  i miss youu  lol night ,2.0
39051,on my lunch brk   yuk off  noon thirty then  job   wish i was brave enough  do what i really want  ,2.0
39052,emweir i burnt the caramel  i might make it tmr night instead,2.0
39053,laboiteathe coucou ,0.0
39054,i wonder what will happen tomorrow its gonna be interesting  cant wait for kitty to get back ,0.0
39055,drupeek thats so awesome i am quite envious of you ,2.0
39056,pl think you get added to their list of creditors and paid ifwhen the assets of the company get sold off wouldnt hold your breath ,2.0
39057,ticklemejoey btw world war  is stuck in my head ahhh im buying the album with  of my freinds at midnightttt ,0.0
39058,i dont think this is the right place for us to post i needed somewhere to vent tonight and i thought i wanted support still not sure if i did just posting felt good however i scrolled through posts and people dont tend to reply im not sure posting into a void helps anyone please think about where else you can seek help before you use this board it seems to a be a lonely place i know i could reply to the posts im saying have no replies but im not in the right place to help anyone which is probably the problem with this whole thread,3.0
39059,being a check out chic wasnt that hard after all ,0.0
39060,esbmusic thxs  luv this song,0.0
39061,arieldotcom i was taking finals and stuff so i could be out of school ,0.0
39062,depressionangerhelplessnesslack of focuss hi everyonefew years ago i was diagnosed with post natal depression took for about three years anti depressants sertraline  mg i have weaned myself third try with doctor consultation off antidepressants  months ago should mentioned that i am also seeing a psychotherapistfortunately i dont have any more the need to selfharm anger anxiety and the helplessness sense still lingering with me what worries me is that now i am trying to get back to  job market after two kids and i dont have the sense that i actually posses any knowledge i am aware of imposter syndrome and such but it worries me how detached my being is from my gathered knowledge  i have a doctorate in building science and an engineer degree in architecture last few months i am trying to learn new things or even repeat some of the things that i have learned before they feel unknown to me proctrastrination also unfortunately still going strong nevertheless even if amongst all odds if i stuck with something like attending a full time introduction course on pythonprograming for four days straight leaves me doubting my knowledge gaining skills i honestly dont mind at least theoritically and rationally applying myself to learning or working but it feels so painful full with anxiety and fruitlessthen again the cycle of anger and her best aforementioned companionsmy question is i guess if someone has been in similar situation maybe share some words of wisdom or tips,3.0
39063,is at sbux waitin for the ferry to go back home ,2.0
39064,im so angry lonely and without a purpose when your ugly short and socially awkward you start to become a little insane i dont know what to do anymore i need help but i dont know what help,3.0
39065,shaundiviney   hahahaa lol xo lovin it ,0.0
39066,quotdear harryforpresident congrats your website is one week old todayquot wahey time for a cup of tea ,0.0
39067,there is not much to watch at tv its all about the results of todays elections for the flemish government ,2.0
39068,why im not depressed anymore a few reasons why i havent had depression since i was  im  now i started lifting weightssaid fuck what anyone thinks of mebegan to write all day im an excellent writer quit every job i didnt like until i found a good one no fucks given went back to school said fuck giving upcontinued to lift weights disregarded females hey if one comes around great if not fuck emnowadays never depressed extremely efficient and productive i write something like  pages a week for my youtube channel and i lift weights every day i also go to school and work survival and focusing on bettering yourself and caring about nothing in my opinion are key you cant let emotions matter too much if youre male its just how it is good luck out there and id tell you to stay out of my way but no ones in my way because im at the top and when it comes to writing thats actually true stay strong stay cocky disregard feelings of worthlessnessget to a point where you dont even have them ,3.0
39069,family my mom wants me to be more honest with her about my feelings but last time i told her about my suicidal thoughts and depression she got hysterical started crying and acted if i was to blame thats why i hold everything in now because i would only express myself to someone who could handle it,3.0
39070,jaymsterbean hehe thanks jaymeeee  will see you soon ,0.0
39071,quotthanks for having me momquot quotno problem lolquot ,0.0
39072,hiya guys im home from butlins omg have i missed twitter ty  the girls who kept me updated throughout the week  zz,0.0
39073,chicogarcia   hi chico scarry missed u  morning rush ,0.0
39074,dannyjclayton  make it a trending topic  hahaha,0.0
39075,andrewleeonline i am but i cant go see them ,2.0
39076,night twits you are beautiful people  xxxx,0.0
39077,andsandysays i know oo hahaha if only i had fakes  lol,2.0
39078,this isnt a joke hi hellomy friend is in a really bad mental situation right now due to getting their most important platform hacked steamhe made a video and though i know him well in real life im scared theres a chance that he might very well hurt himself very badlyhe made this video right after becoming aware of the situationhttpswwwyoutubecomwatchvhhmyemxivmwif you could even just comment a sign of support for him im sure things could turn out better thank you,3.0
39079,baronvoncarson haha lol alright i will take your word for it ,0.0
39080,is trying to complete her  words chinese essay that has been dragging for three whole weeks hate chinese ,2.0
39081,from rove in a beauty pageant confucius is the one who invented confusion ,0.0
39082, me too theyre like  minutes away from me  i wish i could have gone to see them,2.0
39083,rt onlinehomo theres a lot of things i can handle heartbreak being broke depression anxiety but cockroaches no sweetie its game,2.0
39084,why are they dating  now theyre all taken i wont have a chance at the concert     this is so heartbreaking,2.0
39085,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
39086,my dad bought him amp his bro when we were kids man hes about  years old now i hope the raccoons dont  snag him  flylady,2.0
39087,swimingelatin congrats dreps and good luck sa interview ,0.0
39088,inell yeah i died last night  i didnt even turn on my computer so you know i was tired,2.0
39089,mcjonasprincess heyy your following me mcfly fan  how are youu x,0.0
39090, how is the elderly man doing any updates on the hit amp run ,2.0
39091,dreadrealaflare haha sure  you fit in the category  my weekend busy as usual had too many drinks sat nite lol  how bout you,0.0
39092,missing my adorable nieces  watching youtube videos of them is just not enough sometimes ,2.0
39093,is trying to decide what to do about her tattoo designand her hair tooits not jet black anymore ,2.0
39094,rt nandossa simthola kanjani lo sisi weguys rt to save a life ,0.0
39095,iantalbot i guess youre right about not reading newspaper it is depressing but since im swiss i look at them in a very neutral way ,0.0
39096,im really not looking forward to my parciales these upcoming weeks i havent studied anything or done any of the photos ,2.0
39097, guten morgen ladies ,0.0
39098,getting shit done before the bonfire tonight got firewood now some clean up this shit should be fun ,0.0
39099,um hello why am i experiencing anxiety today i gave that shit up weeks ago,2.0
39100,moninahilario yes of course imy guys already  amp good she should finish it before school starts  distraction eh yung kulot haha,0.0
39101,yumyucky that is awesome ,0.0
39102,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39103, followers ,0.0
39104,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
39105,archerbm razswirl would itself lead to depression and in most cases that can be treated but trans folk are con ,2.0
39106, yep cgtuts will be launching on june  ,0.0
39107,i want to just sleep forever without dying  i think ive been depressed for about a year now a few months ago my parents made me go to the doctor and i was prescribed pills to help with anxiety but all theyve done is made me feel even less happy before i was stressed and sad all the time but now i guess i just feel like a husk or something i feel like life has just worn me out by now the routines and the monotony and waking up everyday just to keep feeling like trashi dont get why i shouldnt off myself i get the appeal of being alive but it just kinda sucks for me im tired ofbeing i often catch myself staring at nothing for several minutes thinking about nothing in particular and passing out from exhaustion after full nights of sleep,3.0
39108,slipping down the black hole again help i was diagnosed with depression quite a few years ago been on and of medication probably for the past  years just recently this spring i decided after my meds review with the gp not my usual dr that maybe she was right and i should try to come off medsbig mistake all the anxiety depression paranoia and attachment issues id successfully been controlling gradually came back  so now ive restarted my meds but im facing the slippery darkness once again and im scared  i see treachery in all my work colleagues im having trouble discerning what is actually happening and what i perceive as happening and is really affecting my life my family are very supportive and im not so bad at home but work is a problem  ive never fitted in properly there and dont think i ever will  my colleagues never invite to me anything dont include me in their chatting for the most part so i never know whats going on  i know that they visit each others homes and theyve known each other for years and years  im not looking for much like i dont expect them to treat me exactly the same but i am totally excluded and it hurtsthis week i noticed on fb that an event was happening locally that they were all tagging each other in and phoning each other to arrange the tickets etc  i noticed the posts again later this week and i realised that they had no intention of asking me if i would be interested in coming its worth noting that its something which everyone knows is right up my street  i cried and my husband saw how upset i was and purchased  tickets and said hed go with me he came into work with the tickets and showed me and that was when one of my colleagues saw them and i think she realised  im fairly anxious to go to work tomorrow  after working there for almost  years i still feel like an outsider,3.0
39109,is very bored   and no one is on fb,2.0
39110,waiting for mum friend to come he gonna teach me how to drive a land rover  luuv big cars  ,0.0
39111,ugh headachestill ,2.0
39112,rt tunnelvsnx stress by dee ace screwed amp chopped too wowww i really was not feelin today but look  god,1.0
39113,i feel so tired im sorry in advance if this is unfocused but  im just so tired of life and i have no one to say it to for the past three years i have been in a friend group that has constantly berated and bullied me for saying anything its gotten to the point where i feel afraid to talk to anyone out of fear of ridicule its gotten to the point where their hate has affected who i am as a person and ive become increasingly antagonistic and i just miss the kind person i used to be it would also seem that i cant even remember the good memories i had of these people because its been so consumed with their insults and i cant leave them because their the only friends i have each day that goes by i just seem to want to die i cant drive i cant swim i cant ride a bike i cant swallow pills because it scares me i cant even eat enough food to get to a healthy weight i just feel everything i shouldve done i havent in the past two years i have only hung out with friends once and sometimes i go what feels like weeks without talking to a single person except out of necessity i feel like i need help but i cant seem to find anyone that possibly could ,3.0
39114,cosmindart im like this too and i dont understand it i get anxiety spending  bucks on lunch and then turn aroun ,1.0
39115,went to bed last night just to have the power go out three times in the night needless to say i slept very little cause it was so hot ,2.0
39116,i likee how everyonee in my year book wrote about trannys fierce or being homo ahaha ,0.0
39117,rt  post  depression twitter ,2.0
39118,so sad that this has to happen to an innocent civilian 😪🤤😣,0.0
39119,is hoping to get better soon  gnight,2.0
39120,troykids you sputtered ,2.0
39121,going right now goodnight or morningwhatever talk to yall later after work probably lovelovelove ,0.0
39122,good morning fuckin orlando got spanked  home luvin this rain,2.0
39123,im crossin my fingerzhopin tht thngz will work out  my lifemissin my otha half ,2.0
39124,try sleep again really miss my beboonggg  ,2.0
39125,fucked once again i dont think people get it that when u say  u dont know about your feeling u meaning that depending on the situation u r going to be pretty fucked i was planning to move away with a friend when we ended the high school we planned this for a long time ago that meant everything to me and im talking about being free from my family that its abusive af but now i cant move on because the same family is holding me back my friend is going away and she said even far she stills with me idk what to really do cause she dont get it whats happening my parents r going to make me stay here forever even if i gain enough money to go away they r going to make me use all the money soon as possible just to make me stay im really fucked and stranded and i dont know what to do she thinks that everything is okay when it isnt i dont know how to tell her about this i dont wanna be an problem to solve and im confused also any solutionsi also dont know how to say about my most recently suicide attempts and feelings i dont want to use my feelings to look like a manipulation or somethingcan someone pls help me,3.0
39126,svennehaa thank you  it is raining here  how was your day,2.0
39127, hola how are u ,0.0
39128, are you a member of the nra coldembrace asked nachos rifles alcohol mmm  good combination  ,0.0
39129,iremember when i first met brwndrby ,0.0
39130,i feel like literally no one gives a fuck that youre sad and fucked up in the head like theres no hope of ever becoming happy and actually having a good life instead im going to always be an insecure dumb socially awkward coward because no one can help me anyone else feel like its completely hopeless no matter how hard you try every time i feel like theres a breakthrough i instantly go back to being pathetic the very next hour or day why am i like this why me,3.0
39131,do you guys just dont want to eator have no desire to but you eat anyways because you dont want to worry your parents or find out your parents founded out that you had depression title but i just dont want to eat sometimes i eat because i dont have nothing better to do and just bored of almost everything and even the ones i was interested about is just not good anymore,3.0
39132,i cant sleep somebody talk to me ,2.0
39133,please follow all of my friends i  my friends they are the best ,0.0
39134,finally i did it learning how to use twitteri am new here ,0.0
39135,my husband of  months said he wants some space and has been looking at apartments he says im not there for him in the way he needs me to be i dont know what to do anymore i feel like i bend over backwards for him and he feels like im not there in the ways that count how could we be good for  years and then when we get married it all goes to shit immediately i feel like i try so hard and care so much and he isnt receiving any of it now he wants space and is looking apartments to rent weve only been married since july and together  years prior ,3.0
39136,martindubow thanks for following me on twitter ,0.0
39137,johnnyjfar why thankyou kindly good sir ,0.0
39138,please please please go see the hangover the funniest movie i have seen in a long time ,0.0
39139,how to survive university id like to hear some tips on how to survive university if youre struggling with depression i love my degree and i love studying but i cant help feeling that all my effort is useless and that ill never be able to finish my degree i feel like its just a matter of time before everything in my life falls apart im an okay student maybe even above average there are like  or  people who have better grades than me i know i could have better grades than i do if i really made the effort everytime but i dont think its worth it so i just accept any grade i really need some encouragement at this point thanks and have a happy new year all of you,3.0
39140,getting on the plane wish me a safe trip im gonna miss my babe ,2.0
39141,feverish and cranky ,2.0
39142,going through a really tough time and have nobody to talk to i feel like my minds going to break apart i got treated for depression and things were fine for a while but trouble with my piece of shit boss set me off into a nightmare of despair like i was not expecting the womans a psychopath because of her i ended up in the hospital with panic and anxiety attacks and now am in psychiatric treatment i took a bit of time off but that didnt help winter holidays are over so tomorrow im due back at work but i really dont want to go also because my job is very demanding and i work too muchim also jet lagged big time which is really fucking up my mind and i have barely any friends in the isolating new city i live in meanwhile my friends back home havent been responding to my messages even the one who said we could talk this weekend another whom i supported through his really rough times has become a selfish selfcentered asshole my family gives no shits about meits like the floor has been removed from under my feet tomorrow im going to look into taking longterm leavedisability but its so fucking hard doing all this alone a hug would make such a big difference right now but theres nobody to hug i feel like im going mad,3.0
39143,red sky at night shepherds delight red sky in the morning shepherds warning but by gum isnt it beautiful sleep time my twitterettes ,0.0
39144,violetmonroe i wish i had gas to get to you  but im poor as fuck right now,2.0
39145,i got up an hour early  thanks bobby,2.0
39146,iamjonathancook ahahaha what can we say fatasses band together ,0.0
39147,im calling out if work today and possibly tomorrow im calling out for  reasons  im sick as hell ive got a sinus infection or some shit im all congested and have had a splitting headache for almost a week im low energy i cant even stand up right now thats partly because of the sickness and severe depression depression thats why its in this sub im just really missing my only friend right now shes in africa for a month and has no electricity it sucks because i have nobody to talk to or laugh with or anything when i say shes my only friend i mean it sure i gave climbing buddies but if im depressed they womt bring me a pizza like she does fuck i miss her and its fucking with my depression mondays are so boring at work i work at a grocery store and we get orders thursday thursday and saturday which means monday is the worst day to work all the cleaning and blackstock has been done so you basically just try to look busy and its so boring if im bored i get tired so id probably straight pass out in the breakroom anyway thanks for reading usually my friend would get this not you guys so thanks for sticking with it its nice to feel heard,3.0
39148,how would you tell someone who feels depressedinsecure that you have a crush on them i want to indicate interest but i dont want to invalidate their feelings or cross a boundary if theyre in need of a supportive friend instead of someone horny,3.0
39149,sorry guys julie said i have to take my location off she dont want u guys knowing where i live   ,2.0
39150,jonoethan grrr so jealous of you right now ,2.0
39151,got the perfect summer swimsuit trying to find something to do now ,0.0
39152,rt apainprincess severe prolonged tiredness on a mental physical and emotional level its not fatigue its being completely and utter,2.0
39153,misternoodle as real as it gets  goodnite misternoodle,0.0
39154,zarias dont hold back zack tell us how you really feel ,0.0
39155,smiling at his photo ,0.0
39156,lets hit the showers tweetscant have you stinking up the place  oh wait thats me  ,2.0
39157,matthewjrpotter ill give you  for every packers fan you punch in the face deal ,0.0
39158,i hate being an adult so ive realized the older i get  yrsold the more i see how fake my family is im seeing behind the wall theyve been putting up my whole life it really really sucks i have no family anymore well real family that is just remember that no one is who you think they are theyll start showing you their real self and youll realize how alone you are in this world i think i need to go back to counseling ive been really fucked up lately cant wrap my head around all this ,3.0
39159,just found out i live across st from crack factory ,2.0
39160, i am so blessed in so many ways,0.0
39161, i hope you got it in email need to use tweet deck nit tweetie when sending pics sorry ,2.0
39162,national tap day was fun except it was hot but god sent the rain too bad i was wearing a white shirt ,2.0
39163,how do i vote on mtv awards ,2.0
39164,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,2.0
39165,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39166,be right back everyone  going to mass with my daddy haha,0.0
39167,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
39168,thereseelaine wie youre going over too jag �ker �ver fyra veckor ,0.0
39169,stephen staying home today since  is closed to the mountains no skiing  still a happy day ,2.0
39170,is heading to hebrew school for a spiritual death match soccer vs shabbos like shabbos even has a chance ,2.0
39171,instead of getting my hair done i jst bought a new curler woooop ,0.0
39172,what do i do when the girl i likelikes alcohol and drugs way better than me ,2.0
39173,therealanushka is it the dress you told me about ,0.0
39174,how do you deal with postgraduation depression i already miss my friends from school i feel like i lost my place in the world and im anxious and depressed i just want to belong to somewherei want to be loved and cared for but that feels as if im being selfish everybody seems to be enjoying their new adult life but i just feel lostfamily is pretty distant too always have been thats probably where my problems startedtips,3.0
39175,i miss oswego a lot more than i thought i would i hope this summer goes by fast ,2.0
39176,im tired of trying im trying college for the  time moved on my own so i would live closer to my school i thought that moving alone would help me finish my college since there would be no distractions familyampdogs but i was wrong after half a year i am falling into depression again i have  motivation and i am constantly stressed tired and just  empty ive started having suicidal thoughts more often even if i try to brush is off i dont even try to finish my college im just turning up to some classes but i know im not doing enough and i will not pass i have already failed  super easy courses i had to just be present like  times but i didnt turn upi have fucked it up again im gonna get kicked out of my house and i do not wanna move back with my familyi keep dreaming of disapearing and moving somewhere where nooone would know me start a new life i just need a new startso so so tired,3.0
39177,whats wrong with me ive been struggling with feelings similar to depression for years now but ill have to explain because my situation is  odd im never depressed for long a few weeks or months maybe but during this time i feel like the most worthless useless stupid person to walk the face of the earth i hate myself and i want to stop existing all i do is go to school come home sleep repeat my grades drop dramatically i stop hanging out with friends i feel like theres no point to life anymore so i quit doing my schoolwork and i stop caring about everything even my family i cry without reason i just want to leave the world behind but then it stops its like a switch is flipped ill go from wishing i was gone to making goals for myself to follow and being happy and motivated and generally feeling like a normal human being i pay attention in class i dont sleep as much i talk to my friends i pick up old hobbies and while i still feel like i dont have much worth as a person it feels like i have the potential to become someone worthy and then it starts all over again the cycle of motivated to unmotivated and content to miserable i refuse to bring this up with my family because ive recently been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and im afraid that if this comes to light theyll think im doing all of this for attention so if anyone out there has some advice please try to keep it something i can do on my own no one else can ever know about this the only person ive ever considered telling is my therapist but even then i dont think i will does anybody know anything ,3.0
39178,i want to help i know this isnt the typical type of post on this subreddit but i want to offer my support to those in need of someone to talk to i am not a liscensed psychologist or trained therapist but i am someone who overcame suicidal thoughts depression and addiction to pills i know a lot of you are struggling and feel like there is nothing left i cant tell you things are going to get better over night but i want to be a sounding board for you i hope you reach out if you are genuinely seeking support ,3.0
39179,workingworking working  need a holiday musicmonday  ,2.0
39180,any flash experts out there i need help  my swf plays fine on the computer but only goes for  seconds when put onto the kiosk qqlf,2.0
39181,rt winterwitchevie i cant stay calm im not going to be nice or kind with people who hurt my family or make them sad hate me talk shi,0.0
39182,is tired but cant get to sleep too much going on ,2.0
39183,cant believe she lost her id and debit card last nightsober ,2.0
39184,jdtorres enjoy your weekend florida sounds nice right nowlots of rain here ,0.0
39185,its only tuesday    is it time to get shameless yet,2.0
39186,is a bit nervous about this meeting ,2.0
39187,its attacking me baaaack cough cough cough i thought ill be better than yesterday but im so wrong ,2.0
39188,my new peanut butter has a huge scoop taken out of it i dunno who did it  and i hope i didnt buy it like that ,2.0
39189,feel dodgy after having cold lasagne for breakfast when will i learn ,2.0
39190,raw was awesome i cant believe theres only  weeks until i get to see it live ,0.0
39191,my nightmares are on the upswing the medication i take for depression and my brain injury get me through most days pretty well however im on the upswing in my nightmares again  i cant take the standard meds for nighttime because it makes my migraines worse i think i attacked my girlfriend in my sleep i have been yelling in my sleep again  and last night a spidercrabscorpion tr size of a dinner plate chased me down and killed me,3.0
39192,whata week in nashville ,0.0
39193,dropping off the rental and then going to the airport  toodles puerto rico,2.0
39194,xkayteebear shrugs i think hes had enuff i mean im doing all of this so everything can b easier im doing this for him ,2.0
39195,i am trying to figure out how to use twitter ,0.0
39196,benboyduf without me ,2.0
39197,tajdirector lol dmv and those long ass lines pull a number sit down twitter and bbm and wait for  to be called  ahahaha,0.0
39198,im sad and my head hurts good night everyone btstwt i love u tae pls take care of yourself i wish i could hug ,0.0
39199, i love you  kthanks,0.0
39200,its far too hot ,2.0
39201,im kind of sad  the beginning of my website and contest launch and my host gets a  internal server error  ,2.0
39202,i shouldnt have self harmed i feel guilty i havent self harmed in  months the longest ever since the – years this has been going on todays situation was just way too much ive beat myself so hard it hurts to type thismy father promised with joy that we would celebrate my one year mark this was only a few days ago i feel so guilty this is the only thing that helped right now but now the guilt is really killing me i hope he forgets what he promised,3.0
39203,big fat cbf anymore ive struggled with major depression and anxiety ever since i was in year  im in year  now and nothing has gotten better it feels like my life will never really start my family drains me and constantly makes me feel guilty for being the way i am and my mum wonders why my self esteem is so low she thinks shes helping me but she isnt all that she does is blame me for small things like me losing my belongings which i cant help since it just seems to happen  she also forces her beliefs onto me made me go to one of her friends that does spirtitual healings and told me that if i didnt do it i cant live with her anymore and can go live on the streets,3.0
39204,i feel so lonely and as if im going to cry  today hasnt been the greatest,2.0
39205,i slept absolutely horriblei blame that damn quotblack dahliaquot moviei think of messed with my psyche ,2.0
39206,quotlooks like someone has a case of the mondaysquot work   hope they dont extend me till  tonight ,2.0
39207,also why do i keep missing letters in tweets i slag someone for bad diction yet cant spell conclusion very bad state of affairs ,2.0
39208,after the bring back campaign i am actually going to start following netra ,0.0
39209,wiilassie er possibly  actually am going to be in the south late june  would love to see you if possible ,0.0
39210,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
39211,lost at monopoly again ,2.0
39212,  hope you feel better soon,2.0
39213,does anyone know the girl that died of swine flu she was only  maybe she went to ucsd  first fatility in san diego ,2.0
39214,ninamcfly oh really  thats really cool   my friend has sent something like  tweets to him and he never replied to her ,2.0
39215,life is too much i dont want to get out of bedi dont want to brush my teeth i dont want to shower i surely dont want to leave the house ,3.0
39216,slipping back in  via rdepression ,0.0
39217,nileylovestory hey  ask me a thing  do u think  fly with me jbs new song is about miley,0.0
39218,andreascher medication crisis catalyst depression recovery rebuilding polymath creativity httpstcoehwycbbeht,1.0
39219,looks like we are going to have school tomorrow ,2.0
39220,idk if this is the place but i have to vent  i took a nap and in my dream there was this boy  and he was about to leave the house we were at for some reason and i held my arms out and he smiled at me and hugged me it felt so real and i remember he also smelled good i woke up crying because im that fucking touch starved  ive had the worst thoughts where i could go hangout with my ex just so i can have that feeling of being around someone again he would always hug me and just make me happy he was kinda possessive so i dumped him and i know i cant do that to myself but i cant stop thinking about it i miss feeling cared about i miss physical contact i miss leaving my house i miss being happy even it was a facade,3.0
39221,leelandmooring happy birthday leeland god bless you   i can hardly wait for the new album,0.0
39222,ayedamng i hate infomercials and thats a good point i think they all are ,0.0
39223,i need friends anyone who wants to talk about depression thoughts of suicide or anxiety hmu im always willing to listen to a friend in need,3.0
39224, one was lastnight  i was on the computer next to shadows and we were looking at zacky and his quotsyn hairquot haha ,0.0
39225,man i cant wait for mom to get home so i can play ac until i fall asleep ,0.0
39226,kourtneykardash ill be home working i miss your fams show   have a nice day,2.0
39227,omg im sad  i hope he stays strong i send my condolences to him and his family,1.0
39228,easties you can go there anytime ,0.0
39229,whew  got the pieces cut  but i really need a higher table my back hurts    ill start sewing tomorrow  ,2.0
39230,justdes drowsy baby girl is on antibiotics she woke up middleofthenight with side effects so we hardly slept nice bright sun tho ,0.0
39231,is sad the mc chris group only has  members  wheres all my mc peeps at httpbitlybxkt,2.0
39232,poshtotty nymphomaniac boredwife why cant i live nearwork with lovely ladies like you ,2.0
39233,blah woke up because of a stupid bad dream ,2.0
39234,subway restaurant kicking us out ,2.0
39235,the fact that watching house of cards a show meant to be a work of fiction is giving genuine anxiety that i relate directly to the ,1.0
39236,babystray boo back at work till sunday cant update till then ,2.0
39237,depression and regression it seems that no matter how long ive been clean i always relapse and for what reason to take the pain away well guess what this time my family doesnt want another let down and i dont blame them ive never been a thief or sold my body just my soul im also bipolar anxiety ptsd and night terrors so im already a disfunctional person i had  years clean and i threw it away for  months i put myself on suboxone but the second day i nodded off at the stoplight with my kids in the car im such a horrible person i thought i had it all under control and i ended up putting my kids lifes at risk 😣 now my  year old wont talk to me and i just want to die i know and admit im a drug addict but i never imagined losing the love from my daughter would hurt so much i wish i had a rewind button but i dont so do i keep getting up every day waiting for hurtful words or do i end everyones pain and become part of the rain,3.0
39238,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
39239,tamarab well shit sorry to hear that ,2.0
39240,jondickinson the only solution appears to be to tell  not to monitor av status in the action center or tell whs to ignore the issue ,2.0
39241,thekellanlutz prank call prank call prank call ,0.0
39242,bradiewebbstack i doo its a dance ,0.0
39243,infrastrength i want the  s but dont have an upgrade yet  just got the sims  cant believe its a cell phone game,2.0
39244,albanlipp oh  such a great news  ,0.0
39245,my job is making me depressed lately ive been feeling extra depressed i cant stop thinking about work and how much i dread going in everyday i really want to quit but i just started working three weeks agohowever i really dont feel like i can complain i work at a nursing home as a housekeeper i only work three days a week eight hours a day at minimum wage you think it would be an easy job righti thought that i would sincerely enjoy being a housekeeper and my hours are the opposite of my boyfriends he works midnight shifts at a packaging job i dont get to see him very much anymore i dont know what to do i just want to cry and hide away i really just want a job near or at the same place as my boyfriend,3.0
39246,crazy day today year of the ox unveiling party and then independent film society party yay i can wear my new shoes ,0.0
39247,wanting have some fun  ,2.0
39248,so sleepy work experience is tiring ,2.0
39249,having a drink at spoons an hour till food arrives ,2.0
39250,i want a signed mac picture but my momm said no ,2.0
39251,oh it feels like i cant wait for tomorrow to play cutie pop ahaha im so weird i wonder nafisbelmont kiriyama kazuo is real ,2.0
39252, oh they were scrambled for sure lol but ill eat them cooked any way there is ,0.0
39253,rt brittapplegate listen a job can lead to depression anxiety all of that your health comes first notalwaysworthit ,2.0
39254,academic research study childhood experiences and current emotions hello everyonei am currently enrolled in a clinical psychology graduate program at california state university fullerton i am looking for people who would be interested in participating in an online survey for my thesis i dont see any rules about academic research for this page but please let me know if i should not be posting this here the purpose of my study is to examine the association between the way one was raised their beliefs about themselves and their mental health as adults if you are  years or older and identify as caucasian you are eligible to participate in this study which should take less than  minutes link i appreciate anyone who is able to participate thank you ,3.0
39255,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39256,mrpeterandre hi pete i think your hilarious on tv ,0.0
39257,seeandson i knoww girl i dont even talk to nat anymore we should chill ,0.0
39258,my saturdays are always boring ,2.0
39259,sperly  wow i just realized it is friday ,0.0
39260,i want to go to the philip defranco gathering so bad its on thursday  stanley park  pm ,2.0
39261,lannaa  im sorrry    we all need to go out soon btw im thinking tbs ill most deffinately have money by then ,2.0
39262,im horrible tell me why i dont deserve her please i want the pain its all so true i deserve it,3.0
39263,could someone send me missiondistricts version of just dance please  my computer doesnt seem to want to download it ,2.0
39264, i have it but have no idea wtf it does ,0.0
39265, less than a month away im gonna be  soon and im absolutely dreading it i know the only recognition i might get will be a text from my parents probably gonna stay in and just get hammered by myself i dont even drink that much did you know theres a statistical anomaly that says you are more likely to die right before on or after your birthday its called the birthday effect,3.0
39266,jackiepry  im not leaving my room until i get a bike ,2.0
39267,anyone else feel like the suicide hotline justsucks i called the national sucide lifeline today for the first time the lady that answered was sweet but she just kept talking trying to give me advice and i in no way want to die less i just couldnt wait to get off the phone with her and nearly hung up in the middle of her talking to me i think i actually feel more inclined towards suicide since ive exhausted a resource thats supposed to be a barrier to suicide oh well ,3.0
39268,bean and cheese for half price gotta love tuesdays ,0.0
39269,just updated my blog  market analysis for may   ,0.0
39270,kittychix i recently changed my gamertag bio to quotpeace through baconquot ,0.0
39271,adribanana goodnight ,0.0
39272,driving to go say goodbye to rocky  ,2.0
39273,still up amp on the phone soccer game tomorrow hopefully no thunder amp lightening hopefully everyone shows hopefully we kick some a ,0.0
39274,went down to the markets befor  got a few things exept this gibson dog tag i really wanted  im hoping to go back and look at it again,2.0
39275,idewar it just seems to fit so well dont you think  ,0.0
39276,swizzlesqueak oh no  is that what the drs said that he only has a couple of months   thats very sad poor dave,2.0
39277, i aslo swam tyesterday i went to quotobama beachquot ,0.0
39278,the local subway chains are so deprived of good sauces they dont have my favourite southwest ,2.0
39279,chasevs one of the best concerts i have ever been too prince was speaking the gospel amen  i should add u,0.0
39280,lost in bellingham ,2.0
39281,monday morning blues but the tam gathering is cool ,0.0
39282,adamsconsulting hey u can turn it around and can have sleep while rockin ,0.0
39283,now im sad and im going to bed ,2.0
39284,should i its been weeks now im still afraid of going to school im afraid of what my classmates would say or think about me ,3.0
39285,ddlovato  ill pray for you,2.0
39286,nickjonas  i would  only i cant coz im not from america    i really hope he wins tho  hes a legend  ,2.0
39287,vocaltest aww she didnt ,2.0
39288,hello i am sad voy a darle rt a cositas lindas como baekhyun a ver si se me pasa,2.0
39289,jessdubb i think that would be best youre dealing with me here i dont like to hurt egos ,0.0
39290,is dreading the graphics and textiles exams tomorrow one after the other from half  until half  now that sucks  lol x,2.0
39291,rt vmiguelg depression has no face even the happiest looking person you know could be experiencing it,1.0
39292,vitaredux yeah did it on motherhood in the alien films instead ,0.0
39293,i sitting here with dumb and dumber aka quotsouthanbred and drocquot and they are lame  ,0.0
39294,ugh so tired but i dont want to go to bed have funeral stuff all day tomorow well today anyways it will be sad ,2.0
39295,school tomorrow  ugh,2.0
39296,seeing as my weekend plans are ruined i considered going to london but rail works mean the journey is  hours each way not worth it ,2.0
39297,jotasv lol you sneak  doesnt sound pleasant though  will it just sort itself or does it require intervention,2.0
39298,am i seriously up at this hour yesthanks quotbquot  ,0.0
39299,guess theres a first time for everything my cars broken down on the  and ive got the rac on the way ,2.0
39300,is he playing any better now my mothers internet is too slow for the live stream ,2.0
39301, i used to have rly bad anxiety but now recovering okbai,2.0
39302,catching up on cobra cam  my leg brace is anouying meeee ,2.0
39303,kirtijaiswal keep twittering  nice thing to do,0.0
39304,okhow do i make the twitter train shit stop  i changed my password yesterday but it was posted again today ,2.0
39305,oh no im totally confused with my life ,2.0
39306,addictedtojones hmmmmm am afraid not for now  wont you be coming to visit me when im over there im trying to talk you into it ahha,2.0
39307,fjordaan  amazoncouk customer service is great within certain parameters move out of those and youre in trouble ,2.0
39308,i need help my friend just told me about her suicide attempt my friends just disclosed to me that she attempted suicide  years ago how should i react to it i want to sympathize because thats how i feel about it but i dont think so thats what she wants,3.0
39309,shellrawlins mooooooorning ,0.0
39310,aplusk these dolls are so ugly i hate them ,2.0
39311,hayfever can fuck off to i am not in a good mood this morning it seems ,2.0
39312,pens lost yesterday but they will win the next game i believe in it  ,0.0
39313,jacvanek yippppeee new jacvanek bracelets came in the mail ,0.0
39314,im  away from dial up speed ,2.0
39315,rt  solar 🔋jdoublermrjoe suicide monday✴️☄️🌑🚀🌠💥 ,0.0
39316,johnhummel you must really like sleeping on the couch ,0.0
39317,suttygal didnt get a chance to say happy birthday hope it was a happy one  ,0.0
39318,jojoxx books theyre the future ,0.0
39319,speaking of neilhimself have been pulling every string at my disposal to try and get a ticket to see him at luminato jun  no luck ,2.0
39320,boohoo eliminated forth ,2.0
39321,starting to pain in milton ,2.0
39322,fingerpainting and arrested development great sunday with jake ,0.0
39323,not feeling  great this morningi think im getting sick ,2.0
39324,rumblelizard id join you in the fff but im working this weeken boo ,2.0
39325,looks like our beautiful riding week will start tomorrow   ok so i guess i will finish painting the trim today,2.0
39326,marielenh wooh hardcore raving xdd blah we have to go back to school i think imma going to cry ,2.0
39327,tlrpm just watched triumph the insult comic dog  bonnaroo but no tlrpm sighting ,2.0
39328,i cant stop crying i have been crying non stop for  days and im really really really tired at everything its very exhausting i havent even slept properly or eaten idk what to do im just so tired,3.0
39329,things what i did today things what i did today regreting things what i did todaythings what will i do tomorrow not regreting things what i didhope im going to do it successfully,3.0
39330,trinlayk i dont get it ,2.0
39331,idle hands are the devils workshop ,0.0
39332,jeez is this guy crazy or what   httpbitlypvmql,0.0
39333,no movie tonight ,2.0
39334,it turned out to be a pretty fine tuesday ,0.0
39335,going bowling with my class ,0.0
39336,ive never expeirenced this before is it more than depression its a bit difficult to describe but over the last year i started feeling a certain way but not frequently however as recently as sayoctober i feel that way everyday think of it like when you lose a loved one but the feelingatmosphere is in effect at all times everyday and nothing works in helping you escape those thoughts such as watching a movie mightits not only depression i believein terms of a mental cause im not sure what is exactly causing this ive never expeirenced anything like this before and it has taken away my life i have reached the despair event horizon,3.0
39337,damn i love these cao sopranos  why oh why do they have to cost so much ,2.0
39338,im not sad nor happy i just feel so empty and alone,1.0
39339,my dog bit me and he was the only friend i had now i can barely look at him hes also an anxious mentally fucked up mess hes on more brain meds than me he attacked me when i startled him and now he can never be in my bed talked to a trainer who said hes constantly on edge constantly stressed and anxious and he lashed outwell fuck i cant keep him afloat if im also drowning he was my friend but i see now hes just an animal he doesnt even seem to like me hes never wagged his tail for me hes never licked me he always does that for other people,3.0
39340,just recording some songs with my lil bro rozerharry ,0.0
39341,wgyenny i didnt know you guys are on twitter ,0.0
39342,the thing that caused my depression is irrelevant eventhough its an interesting thought before i was what im now i was naive i thought nothing bad could ever happen to me or anyone i know and i was so stuck in that mindset that when my brother tried to kill himself the bubble burst a little too quickly im not sure i can handle it anymore i just wanna go away but i refuse hurt my family more than what i am now i just want to feel like lifes worth living again and i want to feel like im not a waste of oxygen its currently  and schools at  so ill be tired as shit again but i cant talk to my parents because i cant show emotion for some reason and i  cant tell them that their kid cant get any sleep and is struggling at school because he wants to jump infront of a fucking train and cant find anything worth living for so bye and sorry for the block of text,3.0
39343, welcomesss ,0.0
39344,mcjayxo  poor nick also dont let lara be with the idiot again poor nick  lmao i take these stories seriously haha,2.0
39345,proof people dont care about my depression ,3.0
39346,why am i getting followers speaking in russian or some languages i dont understand can you help me to follow your updates ,0.0
39347,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
39348, awwwwww  well wake yo sleepyannoyed ass up lol,2.0
39349,sad ninja hours throwaway bc i have multiple friends who browse reddit i just wanted to start by saying this sub is absolutely amazing thank you guys for all you do for context i have a therapist who i see once a month its a good time for me to vent to him about my problems and all the shit that went down after the last time i saw him so basically i just want to be happy i keep reminiscing on how i used to be a happy kid who just wanted to play pokémon and now i have severe anxiety and mild depression i have had suicidal thoughts and done self harm a few times but never wanted to go all the way because i have a pretty decent friend group as well as family who would be devestated honestly im just sitting in my bed wondering what to do next i talk to my therapist about if there are any good self care options which i am willing to give a try but they never work ive tried a social media cleanse excercising everything help me please  are there any solutions,3.0
39350,my stomach needs to simmer down asap ow ow ow  it better not hurt when i wake up tomorrow night,2.0
39351,tfw even in your dream you are suicidal tfw your fucking brain goes full depression mode and you dream about the one thing that makes you the saddest the one thing that really make you want to end your self in the one place where most people would feel happy or have fun   my brain in auto pilot encourages myself to kill myself ,3.0
39352,on the phone with mario ,0.0
39353, sorry about last night i would have stayed up with you but you werent here when i left ,2.0
39354,saigonnezumi is there an openelectrolytecommunity ,0.0
39355,cccrawford ,0.0
39356,i think his voice is sexy as hellday dreaming ,0.0
39357,alas im finally home from work and still feeling yucky glad to be home and comfortable ,0.0
39358,beeyawnkuhh happy berfday sorry i never told you sooner ,2.0
39359,woken up feel and look rubbish and cannot be bothered with this maths exam ,2.0
39360,songzyuuup ughhh youre the worst at writing back lol and i know i got those lyrics right ,0.0
39361,apparently im not free yet ,2.0
39362,nice lil adventure back home now ,0.0
39363,jennettemccurdy   isnt he just perfection  youre gorgeous too,0.0
39364,bradleyjean mines either ,2.0
39365,family gatheting theyre all talking about me like im not here saying how my jobs a joke which it is but still ,3.0
39366,chasecoy hey im a song writer to any ideas for me i hav block ,2.0
39367,carolinekmoore bee keeping isnt one of the tracks at moodle camp is it ,0.0
39368,is looking forward to todays church service pastor says it will be good and since im married to him i believe him  ,0.0
39369,now i am leaving at  pm on flight united airline    hours lay over in the la airport  how nice ,2.0
39370,i am justso sad ,2.0
39371,kristinbuddy i know however i need to go to bed  i have yoga   ,2.0
39372,chriswicks haha  no  in fact exactly the opposite,0.0
39373,wickedlibrarian   i think you are cuter than the cat but your cat is adorable ,0.0
39374,i forgot to hide my box of chocolates since last saturday the whole box has been finished off by my sister  gripe,2.0
39375,a short poem i wrote during a really bad time you are always therein the back of my minda numbing buzzan incessant scratchan omnipresent shadowi know your namebutit doesnt changethat i have known youpersonallyfor yearsyou slipped into my thoughtsduring the silence inbetweenloveand the silence was so longand you stayedduring thehumiliationandinsultsand the gentle rain turned into a downpourin the nights vacant watchand i was so scared i would bewashed away,3.0
39376,twittering with my beloved macbook pro ,0.0
39377,grahamcracker  if only you were working in the melbourne victoria police department or the melbourne city cabs ,2.0
39378,ciararyandreams no the aint ,2.0
39379,i fucked up again i just ruin every relationship ive ever had how many different ways can i possibly find to fuck up any chance i have with a girl she really seemed like she liked me why would she say yes to a date if she didnt weve already known each other for a while so i thought just being me was what i was supposed to do i always do something wrong damn it why cant i figure it out i mean shit of course im a broken person so why would anyone like me i just thought she really did i guess she says she still wants to hang out but am i really going to hang out with a girl i like and not date her i cant be just friends with someone i want romantically and i feel like a piece of shit if i quit hanging out with her now i also feel like a piece of shit for being rejected so im just all kinds of fucked up now it seems like nothing ever goes right for me anymore i lost my fucking passion and now i have no god damn confidence in myself i just wish life was like a video game and i could start over and correct where i went wrong sometime i really dont know how long i can keep living this way ,3.0
39380,so pathetic i cant even get the will to off myself all it would take wuold be for me to go to a local gun store buy some  or  shells and i could just fix it all in one go but im such a fucking failure that i cant even get the motivation to do that no i just cling to a miserable failed life that will never improve and drain anyone who has the misfortune of coming into my presence just why why am i such a fucking coward that i cant even blow out the back of my skull even though thats clearly the best case scenario ill never amount to anything since im too fucking stupid to do anything beyond minimum wage work and too fucking ugly inside and out to ever have proper relationships with others and please dont say it gets better or something similar because frankly it wont im going to die alone miserable and entirely worthless no matter how long i live so frankly it would be better to go relatively young i know all of this and yet i cant actualy pull the trigger i just wish that for one night i could have the motivation to finally bite the figurative bullet,3.0
39381,monetcoopa  i dnt wnna go  vegas tho  i wanna go  cali     pls pls pls,2.0
39382,perfect sunday morningand no headache for rob today ,0.0
39383,kenilouise understandable i was watching pineapple express so i missed family guy ,2.0
39384,kimwayans i cant wait to purchase your book i am in an interracial marriage but no children yet but working on it ,0.0
39385,sleeep its  am hahah later knight guysill post my pictures somewhere tomorrow their on my myspace already ,0.0
39386,clubalektrablue morning amp happy tuesday ,0.0
39387,naw i should go home as i dont like to go out alone but tequila w a slice of lime sounds sublime ,0.0
39388,i regret taking speech over the summer ,2.0
39389,i love love loves my twitterfamily yall are the best yall motivate me thats why i show so much love ,0.0
39390,i just realized my mom knew i had depression and refused to treat me im  been dealing with some sort of depression for i dont know how long decided to seek treatment by myself when my situation got really bad after i moved out for college my psychiatrist is still trying to figure out the right diagnosis because all the antidepressants we tried dont seem to work for long a mood stabilizer worked much better though but its not helping as much as it should after two years im still trying to find a therapist i actually like  i was talking to my aunt about my and my younger sisters treatment and she told me how she noticed ever since we were small something was off with us she begged my mom to take us to a therapist she even took me to therapy herself when i was a kid but it was no use without my mom actually being there she straight up refused to go we got worse as we grew older and my aunt was still trying to convince my mom my moms response to all of it go mind your own business  this brought back memories from when i was about  my mom accusing me that my behaviour wasnt normal that i was depressed and her solution was to take me to some random doctor to prescribe me some meds without actually diagnosing me and i never took them  she has depression and anxiety herself she treats it with meds alone because she doesnt believe in therapy i love her and i really sympathize with her because shes always so overloaded with work and with her responsibilities as a parent of four children with a useless father i never blamed her for her shortcomings as a parent but why in the living fuck would she not try to treat me when i was younger im so angry right now im struggling so much and i might actually fail college my life would be so much easier now if i went to a proper professional when i showed my first signs of trouble money isnt even an issue because we have a pretty good insurance and would never have to pay for anything just meds she has depression herself for fucks sake she knows how much it can fuck you up why on earth would you not treat your children for a disorder you have yourself  i dont even know if ill bring it up to her her life is hard enough already and i dont wanna put a strain on our relationship but i find this inexcusable and really needed to vent  tldrmy aunt begged my mom to get me some help ever since i was young my mom refused and tried to get me medicated without a proper diagnose mom has depression herself now my life is all fucked up and this could all be avoided if she had gotten her head out of her ass,3.0
39391,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39392,who wants to amputated my bag  its fucking killin me ,2.0
39393,doing assignments ,2.0
39394, hey hun you ok so you had a good tme last night i heard they were amazing hope works not too crappy im still poorly  x,2.0
39395,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
39396, lol still waiting for the sushi meetup ,0.0
39397,rt npr kidnapped by somali pirates journalist michael scott moore spent two and half years in captivity he talks to nprfreshair about,0.0
39398,c is for crap  ,2.0
39399,a very happy mothers day to all mothers out there mamma mia  abba    ,0.0
39400,looking for advice or someone to tell me what to do violence warning a lot of this post is going to be cringy ive been suicidal for a year now my exgirlfriend cheated on me and dumped me only after i flew out to go see her i saw the sexting messages she and the guy sent back and forth this happened in october and i went to the hospital when i flew back after attempting suicideive been seeing  therapists and its not helping im sick of trying medication and am obsessed with killing her before killing myself shortly afteri need someone to tell me what to do i know these violent thoughts are horrible and i never thought i would turn into this person i just want the pain to stop and i think that suicide is the only way since ive tried other things,3.0
39401,anabelf well i will see it after changeling and the last king of scotland ,0.0
39402, you walked without me haha im not suremight have to wait til next week now    when did hester die,2.0
39403,chillin with my boo ,0.0
39404, what are you doing here shouldnt you be playin the god father or finding a job ,0.0
39405,theweir i love crammond especially the beer from the pub out that way ,0.0
39406,roamingchris depends both gave grotty and emaculate places guess it boils down to which areas u frequent most  x,0.0
39407,bellarisa  something will surface,2.0
39408,nice day ,0.0
39409,couldnt go to sleep cause my legs hurt from walking most of the day yesterday ,2.0
39410,maurae im not sure exactly how much were saying about it at the comm to promote ,0.0
39411,shanemoorhead that bad eh  i just cant help myself sometimes ,2.0
39412,omg today was soo amazing withh all my friends therewelljust my boyfriend wasnt therehe es sickk  humm at soophiees house ,0.0
39413,jaaycooxo thank you i will sure hope for some anoopdoggdesai dreams melts lol  night sweetie,0.0
39414,awwww albany gws   even though i was in your house  hours aqo lol good niqht everyone ,2.0
39415,midnight anxiety,2.0
39416,gosh i still feel weird after those hamburgers for dinner yesterday hopefully the chicken soup today will help me feel better ,0.0
39417,buying your next home is a big deal and i want to make it as smooth and stressfree as possible for my clients ju ,0.0
39418,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
39419,cibaby if the show was closer i work in hamden im nowhere near the green ,2.0
39420,at laxgetting ready to head back to houstonsad day ,2.0
39421,waiting in bible college for the pizza man to arrive at our breakup party more than  late  fb,0.0
39422,zephyrism alright youre already getting donuts but since i luv that you always play along with me u get cookies now too ,0.0
39423,imeasy did someone answer u  i still need to know how to follow ,0.0
39424,sad to hear about ed mcmahon ,2.0
39425,toriilovesmcfly he was on earlier but i miss him too ,2.0
39426,its raining in amsterdam no biking today  ,2.0
39427,rt jhsmiiehoya im so sad i hope my bub and his family are ok ,1.0
39428,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
39429,kellsssss awh sori  you enjoying your vacation,2.0
39430,euginn im writing a script in php danevo is watching videos on ted the sum of which are pretty good company ,0.0
39431,man i really think my router is fried i hate not being able to get online ,2.0
39432,depression triggered after mom visited i had been recuperating after dealing with some rehab from my anxiety  depression  bipolar during this time i specifically kept distance between me and my mom as far as i could i have returned home shortly before this quarantine period started until then my immediate surroundings were enveloped in  care with counselors and medication i was in a treatment home for mental health patients today maternal parent came over my apartment and the discussions over my future got hurtful she said look where you are now this is because of choices you made i overcompensated by giving you too much freedom that hurt because im still dealing with how i think about the damages my coping mechanisms aka the choices i made have affected my young adolscence but i was drawn to those mechanisms because they helped me get away from deprivation and towards hopes of respitei am doing the best i can right now and i did what i needed to do i dont want to bear a heart that forgives my mom because it always pains me just being around her everything becomes painful and i internalize the wrath and confusion which shows up as major anxiety and low self esteemit was really hurtful and my depression just opened up again i was happy with this quarantine and happy with discovering relationships and social support i feel there is a payment to be made to continue bearing some kind of kinship with my own parentas if i must take on a new role and just pretend to accept her overpesimisstic and narcissistic comments when i told her my plan tomorrow all i wanted to hear her say was oh is that so what is it what is your plan instead the converation i wanted to open had been shut away her next words turn the conversation into what she thinks of the situation i want her to give attention to my words but instead everything i say is turned into what she wants to talk abouti cannot keep a closeness to her like i can with my friends or even my professors i cannot unleash my honest thoughts or opinions without her converting my message into why her life wasnt the way it should be the most i want from her is simple acknowledgements but she worries and is paranoid about life in generalon one hand i think there is a christian voice that tells me to forgive her and love unconditionally on the other the human voice tells me it needs to heal with distance and that is okay i dont need to bear guilt to protect what currently matters most to me becoming stable and my sanity i cant deny how conflicting this pain is because shes my own parent who didnt give up her dignity to make sure my survival needs eating clothing school were covered and i keep hearing from her customer who is also a friend of mine that she is worried and deeply cares for meim just really sad and ive battled depression because of my toxic environments but how do i cope with this today and tomorrow,3.0
39433,crc holy fckin hotness thank you for that picture ,0.0
39434,one more ff pitbullchat how could i forget them more to come later gotta get some work done ,2.0
39435,considering dropping out of school ive recently gone through a terrible breakup with my girlfriend of  months and my life has completely fallen apart she found a post of mine on reddit talking about how i was confused by how i was finding other girls hotter than her and how i thought i might be sexually dissatisfied with the relationship and it broke her heart rightfully so granted the language i used and the way i described my feelings was utterly atrocious i rated her on the number scale pointed out parts of her body i wasnt happy with its all bullshit now and i realize it but the damage is done i now realize that yes there are always more hot people like no shit theres models that are supposed to be unrealistically perfect i really dont know how i was so stupid or why i thought i couldnt be happy if i didnt have that but it doesnt mean youre more attracted to them i realized that attractiveness is so much more than just basic superficial appearance but i couldnt separate the two at the time immaturity at its finest she was my first so i didnt know that at all at the time and i let my anxiety and intrusive thoughts bring me to the point of posting since i was too ashamed to talk to anyone this whole second guess phase only lasted for  days of our relationship but it was pretty deep into it in terms of timeline well past the i love yous and so she cant trust me anymore this breakup has made me realize how i dont nor have i ever wanted anybody else and it crushes me because shell never trust me saying that theres not a single person im more attracted to and i know that so well now as i can try and talk to other girls now and it feels empty im just not at all interested in anyone unless its her i even got hit on in one of my classes today and kind of paused and laughed it off because it felt so wrong i just couldnt even think of that all i think about is her i know it may sound obsessive but she was more than just my girlfriend and more than the girl i loved because she was also my best friend this pain is unbearable but i recently sat back and looked at our relationship from start to finish through her eyes and finally truly understood what shes going through and it is  worse than anything ive felt thats why i know i cant get her back and it kills me im literally empty without her on top of all of this im not talking to my older sister at all anymore since she tried badmouthing my ex whom i have a lot of respect for i told her i just needed space to deal with the relationship problem before i can deal with her we had been fighting before the breakup and she text me saying shes never sending me anything ever again and that im a disrespectful little shit granted in the text i sent her i was very upfront and to the point so it may have been offensive to some people but she completely cut me off as a result until i grow up at the same time im a broke college student with  hours of class a week and  hours of work and im trying to move into a cheaper place with some friends but my mother is strong arming me into staying in the place i cant afford  i pay my rent and tuition in college but she covers my groceries since i cant afford them shes saying if i go to a cheaper place i can afford my own groceries and while its true that defeats the whole purpose of finding a cheaper place and shes only doing this because she likes the place i have now so yes i can do what i want but not without facing a penalty for trying to be responsible im really tight on money and dont know what to doalso im entering the hardest semester of my program and i dont know what to do im already two weeks behind and school just started and i seriously dont know if i can keep doing this im really thinking of dropping out or taking a semester offim seeing a therapist through the school and going to seminars to deal with a lot of the emotional problems that i think caused our breakup these include my extreme levels of selfhatred and insecurities i never told my ex this because i didnt realize it until now but i think the whole situation of me thinking i wasnt attracted to her was just me projecting my own insecurities i think i was trying to find excuses or reasons to leave her during that  day period because i was scared of getting my own heart broken by her when she realized how im not even that attractive compared to the guys she could get especially considering how unstable and crazy i am she was perfect for me in terms of emotional support and is genuinely perfect for me in terms of physical attraction but i guess i knew i would have nothing to say in terms of her character as a reason to break up so i started picking and choosing things and convinced myself that those little things were making me unhappy i rationalized that yes shes a perfect person but nobodies perfect physically and so i started focusing on that i knew i couldnt say anything about her as a person because of how amazing she is so i basically started comparing her to people like models and shit and convinced myself that something was missing when nothing was at all i think it really was a projection of my own insecurities because i had told myself during that period that shes just going to leave you when she really sees that youre not that attractive especially considering how crazy you are so youd better find a reason to leave too even though that reason isnt how l feel at all i was rationalizing it as a true feeling granted all of this happened over  days and wasnt a prolonged thought process but i still did it i cant explain why i was looking for reasons to breakup because i really was stupid happy and i didnt and still dont want to leave her at all i was just insecure and scared of getting my heart broken it probably all stems from my severe amounts of self hatred i let my own mental illness destroy my relationship and its awful the stupid thing is that shes objectively really fucking hot and any guy would be counting his blessings to be with her i know that and i hope she knows that this really hurt her confidence obviously and i feel terrible for that i just dont know how i was so blind at the time this has taught me you cant possibly try and love someone else before you love yourself so thats what im trying to do but its really hard i really want her back but i dont see that happening i dont know what the intent of this post is maybe some insight from an alternative point of view on what i can do going forward if anyone can give any advice it would be appreciated ive been depressed before but never to this degree and i just dont know what to do going forward anymore ,3.0
39436,getting ready to go to work ah its only gonna be like  today ,2.0
39437, trainings down  hour left until i go home ,2.0
39438,i finally learned finally living my life without any problems just wishin someone would text me ,2.0
39439,jenbishopsydney can sympathise about coughing fits  ive been like that a lot recently get zero sleep when it happens ,2.0
39440,musicmonday love like this  natasha ft sean kingston old song but i love it ,0.0
39441,richardsdavies dude thats just amazing  i laughed my ass off ,0.0
39442,eddieizzard woo england is better than la  sunny sunny sunny in nottingham,0.0
39443,bluenscottish  we could wear our kilts there day or nite and no one would carethey may even want to get kilts too,0.0
39444,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
39445,off to church i will see the world at three  there goes my day ugh,2.0
39446,brightondoll ok luv i tried to google it but it took me a while to find it ok   ,0.0
39447, aha no problem ,0.0
39448,is celebrating the end of exam season    ,0.0
39449,thewockeez plz come back i miss u  nkotb in to and me not there same ole story nothing ever changes  thourockit,2.0
39450,watercrown ah no  maybe shoji does ,2.0
39451,loneliness and everything failing i just need to vent out i have no friends to talk with my family doesnt care or are too busy to care and those people i message are too centered in themselves to noticeive been feeling down really down and sad no matter what i do nor how many funny memes i see i cannot bring myself to be cheered up,3.0
39452, i want to be your friend  its me diana from hungary,0.0
39453,hwwa cjem wag naman  i will never go near that place yay,2.0
39454,today was different hi friends so today was a different day after making a new friend yesterday and talking for a while i decided that today i would try and do things differently a few small steps to change my mindset i woke up and for the first time in a while i took a shower cleaned my teeth changed my clothes and cleaned my room surprisingly i feel better like a small weight has been lifted i know it is nothing major but i feel like it is a start my next few steps will probably take alot of work applying back to university and loosing a bit of weight but i think i can do it everyone needs a little support in their life so next time your thinking of messaging someone to just talk or for help do it or if you are trying something different take that small risk and things might work out for you and if they dont then what have you got to lose have a good day guys life has a way of working itself out in one way or another love you all and happy birthday to anyone who needs that  ,3.0
39455,just had surgery  im tired but my lip hurts too much to sleep this blows,2.0
39456,onebreath that link pretty much awesome ,0.0
39457,ireckon some businesses are frightened of losing business what they dont realise is that  account means you are losing money ,2.0
39458,ashatha baaaa baa ,0.0
39459, ah  fond memories of my youth ,0.0
39460,good morning tweeps ,0.0
39461,probably ill got insane abour blipprtweetdigg  and so on ,0.0
39462,i dont know what i am going to do ,2.0
39463,thatdamngemini thank u  i cant wait for the magazine shoot tomorrowhow goes ur weekend,0.0
39464,alexderossi double celebration cause today is my birthday ,0.0
39465,finally online  and im really sorryto that person,0.0
39466,watching drive me crazy with mj hart amp a young a grenier  mjh looks great on people this week ,0.0
39467, it was me brother   glad to make your acquaintance ,0.0
39468,north shore music theater shuts down   ,2.0
39469, work work work  but it pays for my shopping and chocolate addiction,2.0
39470,brentmcguire yea i know me too ,2.0
39471,papercatss is lang your first exam omg im spazzing out about it now ,2.0
39472,enjoying my chai tea cream frap from starbucks powered me up for work ,0.0
39473,tabitarot a book on shamanism is teetering at the top first read it years ago now dipping back in when i get the time ,0.0
39474, mmm i  whoever invented things  p,0.0
39475,i am so exited that mileycyrus got an award at the mtvmovieawards   she deserves it,0.0
39476,yay for a pretty day think ill study outside all day ,0.0
39477,been looking for a job for six months struggling to find the strength to get up each day ive been unemployed for almost  months    it has completely broken me emotionally  before this i was generally a happy person and had a good outlook on life but this experience has changed me   i now fear for my future  ive been trying to keep up on my skills but im losing the motivation   if i cant get a job in my field i dont know what im going to do    i never thought i would miss being in school but at least school was a guaranteed thing and i had a routine to keep me occupied    ive been struggling to sleep cause im so worried about where my life is going,3.0
39478,melpopular because it would be so easy to snap on you im not going to ,0.0
39479,managed to get out of seeing quotupquot for now  kids now watching quotsponge bobquot me ready to read my new book    home is good,0.0
39480,still has no computer ,2.0
39481,wanted to get this off my chest so i just wanted to get something off my chest so i have depression and anxiety so right now im starving myself so that im not fat the only thing i will eat is dinner i skip breakfast and lunch and i eat dinner at  or later im also cutting and the only person ive told is one of my friends thanks for listening ,3.0
39482,im missing you ,2.0
39483,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
39484,robcollingridge welcome to  sir  have you downloaded ocarina yet enjoy the apps the iphone is rubbish at telephony ,0.0
39485,kristinabitch i cant believe shes going to be gone in less than  hours im going to miss her ,2.0
39486,now i´m going to see quotwomanizerquot ,0.0
39487,baby it makes me feel sick looking at those buzzing bees ,2.0
39488,myweakness deyyy is  of my biqqest weaknesz lawd jesus wen imet dem   ,0.0
39489,lexyvee sounds like you need to make a quotpinkberryquot stop ,0.0
39490,goodmorning everyone ,0.0
39491,mrxtothaz you should not be wasting the may bank holiday in the crappy north you should be down south in brighton where the partys at ,0.0
39492,erikacourt of course its selective and doesnt work for everyone but i find youtube sleep hypnosis vids help me ,0.0
39493,dmbdork thx shes my baby ,2.0
39494,smileyserg that studyin paid off from an f to a c final grade in finance  ,0.0
39495,itchy eye ,2.0
39496,damesaf especially with a partner like i said i want to do more of that you have been warned ,0.0
39497,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
39498,rt drdenisemd instagram is the most harmful app for mental health   via thescope,2.0
39499,takin my butt to sleep ive blogged enough for tonight  nite yall,0.0
39500,rt percivalpenman if you choose to grieve its over sad how this is the choice black folks often must decide against just to ensure t,1.0
39501,im so lonely my second semester at university and i dont even know why i came back i should have just dropped out i have absolute no one here that gives a damn about me and i spend all day in my room and only go out to eat  i fucking  hate that my life has lead up to this every day i wake up theres just a empty feeling in me that hurts the more i think about it it hurts that i dont have anyone i can call a friend and im thinking it would be better to just end it maybe im tired of feeling this way and i just want the pain to end,3.0
39502,learning to play guitar fun but i still suck ,0.0
39503,achievements only this sub gets i brushed my teeth twice in  hours i took a shower instead of a bath i woke up at  am and actually got upim browsing reddit sitting on a desk instead of lying in bed i opened the shutters i walked my dog without hiding under my hoodie add some more,3.0
39504,slowly dying inside i am not that old to be depressed or even die inside only  yrs old but i recently understood that i am doing ituntil december everything was going smoothly i was studying and thats kinda all but in that month i decided to open my heart to my crush in who i was in love for more than  years and i wasnt just staring at her from the back of the classroom she was the closest person to me so i was to her and i thought she was into me as you might have guessed i got declined two weeks i was out of the world couldnt study couldnt speak with friends or relatives couldnt even think because i was thinking only about that day when i got declined later on i was starting to get back into my life after new year holidays i even thought that i am better now than i was before decemberhow wrong i was in past two weeks i understood that i am getting easily annoyed i hate everything at school my mood is unpredictable and everybody annoys me not only that my crush still thinks that we are friends and tries to speak with me like nothing happened like what the fuck she knows my feelings to her and completely ignores themi am in my last year of school i have exams in summer and have to get in university somehow every relative i know put pressure on me as they dont think i will pass exams because of this i lost any motivation to study any motivation to do something i lost every hobby and now i do nothing from day to day i try to study but on the next day i wake up with no knowledge inside my head in the last  months i got very close with a friend of mine she is a girl though and we were sharing everything in our lives i was supporting her and she was supporting me now she is going through a breakup and i am doing anything i can to help her so she doesnt turn into depressed piece of meat like me the problem is that by helping her i leave myself emptied i spend all the energy i have to support her and i cant share my problems with her as it will make thinks only worseyesterday i was completely lost i was lying on my couch doing nothing closer to the night i blasted into tears for no reason at all i was trying to understand myself to understand who i can trust who i love and who i hate but i couldnt my brain wasnt working at all today i wake up with no feelings at all i can joke but i dont even smile nothing on my face and the fact that i am only  yrs old and already lost depresses me even morei just dont know what to do,3.0
39505,liamb cold is it ,0.0
39506,picken up baby sister thennn bout to grub  good ass wrk out today my arms hurts,0.0
39507,missed my iconnect peeps today   hope they are good and praying they have a brilliant home town tour proud of you joel and levi,2.0
39508,clean my house ,0.0
39509,except the fact i totally hate my linguistics teacher i feel pretty fine tomorrow wedding today im going home lifes good ,0.0
39510,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
39511,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
39512,moviegrrl so its gambling  not my favourite activity ever,2.0
39513, maybe you just need to work out more ,0.0
39514,kakaboom  quotoh my god is that his package it looks like a fucking fishquot loltatz ftw ,0.0
39515,sometimes i should listen to my own advice after all its just a job ,0.0
39516, i know  maybe ill search online for some fantasy book names,2.0
39517,im actually beginning to think i have bipolar depression,1.0
39518,pinkraindrops really heather i thought we were cool but you booted me ,2.0
39519,so tell ya mom and put on your favorate kicks  lol,0.0
39520,jordanknight and went to the park with my kids   ,0.0
39521,first day of finals and im already struggling ,2.0
39522,shutout what else is there to say oh yeah pittsburgh sucks ,0.0
39523,isabellestravel good morning lol no wild outfits today  yet,0.0
39524,thedeanorama nevermind this went from bad to worse quickly i meant brits pic and i cant take it back now i wish you had got it then ,0.0
39525,got into uni  found out on friday night been drunk since so havent tweeted so i could avoid making a fool of myself xxx,0.0
39526,cartoonmoney cant wait until it starts here ,0.0
39527,since i cant view ninaccess on linux ,2.0
39528,peterdaou because economic anxiety you know,2.0
39529,finally at my hotel  hrs of sleep and on my way to the set  grr im gonna be exhausted,2.0
39530,karenclaunch yeah karen ,0.0
39531,lovely weather again today bloody rain what happened to the lush sunshine anyway home from work blah now time for a cup o coffee  hehe,0.0
39532,qtbrowneyes haha yeah right baka me ,0.0
39533,wiilassie llordllama ive been watching it via boxee for win xp usually gets the whole show but sometimes chops a bit off is legal ,0.0
39534,sarahroters oh yeah i know somehow its always us fallin for the wrong guys  at least weve got us d and conny ofc ,2.0
39535,rumors suck ,2.0
39536,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
39537,jamiejocson cool mandarin class haha lets do korean ,0.0
39538,natalieox nothing really got stupid exams this week  xx,2.0
39539, realdonaldtrump i am laughing at how much they probably paid for that adorable balloon 🎈 they probab ,0.0
39540,is watching quotsickoquot and is utterly digusted with this country ,2.0
39541,  lt some of those should be available on google ,2.0
39542,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
39543,my baby bout to be sooo mad at me he getting  shots for school i sowwy tinkle butt ,2.0
39544,would love to see andy samberg host and kings of leon perform though ,2.0
39545,has more packing to do than she has time for  ah  not sure how its all gonna get done  lol   somehow it will,0.0
39546,lonely had a terrible night was looking forward to it all week just  not feeling great at all will someone talk to me,3.0
39547,i love when i get these random bursts of happinessmotivation that only serve to remind me just how much better my life could be if i wasnt depressed im not sure why this happens but i got one yesterday while listening to music and felt like i could conquer the world i had all of this motivation to finally do what i wanted to do before i was depressed  its almost like i got a glimpse of the person i should be the person i would be if i wasnt so broken and then before i knew it poof back to the shitty cycle of self hatred lethargy and anxiety that rule my life and hinder any chance of me succeeding,3.0
39548,i desperately feel like ending it i am completely useless and aloneno one would miss mebut i still always just give up trying to do it turns out i am just as bad at dying as i am at everything elsei just hope i get hit by a bus but that would mean going outside so probably not,3.0
39549,what can i try now a meds question i have bipolar borderline personality disorder major anxiety diabetes broken bones and asthma yes i really am that fucked up ok so a little psych meds history i have had the following  citalopramflouxetinetrazadoneamitriptylinecurrently on lithium and lofepramine and diazepam none of these really worked its  i havent sleep yet because when i do i have night terrors i barely eat i cant focus i dont know what to do i am pretty screwed up right now other meds just to complicate this shit im also on pain killers for broken bones in my neck and back thanks to one failed suicide attempt jumping off a building including tramadol dihydrocodeine gabapentin codyramoljust to make it even more interesting i have  diabetes meds and  injections i also need dramamine to stop sickness and lanzoprozole because my stomach is so screwed up thanks to overdoses and the effects of the numerous medslast but not least fostair and ventolin keep me breathing when my airways decide to say fuck it and give up so my question is this what if anything can i ask for from the psychiatrist whats my next option i have suicidal tendencies i am pretty fucked up i dont know how much more i can take can anyone help me,3.0
39550,o i think the babys getting sick i hate it when the kids get sick id rather get it ,2.0
39551,crystal and cory at red white boomsis is working ,2.0
39552,morning everybody its raining again  oh and starwars the old republic looks amazing go to youtube and watch the interviews with bioware,2.0
39553,jjperez but im ok dont worry i guess its normal before exams im not gonna give up  anyway thanks for asking love you,0.0
39554,oh man i want straight hair now ,2.0
39555,brittanypowell for my dad  its real easy hurry up and get back to tyler,0.0
39556,xbllygbsnii oo you are fs wish a was there  wish a went everywhere with you  lol  am getting it but mums having one too  so,2.0
39557,jackie jus gave alll the change i founnnnd on the sidewalkk to the bum hahha ,2.0
39558,hi world  getting ready to be featured on daily candy so getting the website looking hot and getting the word out there,0.0
39559,ceejux whenever i get the chance i work and have no car ,2.0
39560,dannybanany amazing  have you got a dressing room pass,0.0
39561,fucking depression sucks  in twelfth grade i wanted to make the uil state competition in mathematics only to get beaten hard by tenth and eleventh graders by  to  points how annoying after all of that practice from tenth to twelfth grade to make the state competition that i get so fucked by people younger than meever since then i have been depressed i looked up the tenth grader who got first in the regionals competition with a score  points more than mine and he became a national merit semifinalist a cocacola scholar then he placed second in uil state math last year as an  grader and he even beat the guy who got second at national mathcounts a few years ago his school district and schools are ranked lower than mine i dont understand how i lost while he succeeded can someone help i didnt get national merit semi but commended and i didnt win any scholarships i am just a pathetic guyhopefully i will beat them hard on the putnam exam in college multiple times later,3.0
39562,divinechihuahua goodnight mlady ,0.0
39563,ok for a minute the fun thing about depression is you can feel ok one minute and empty and lifeless the nextand all the ropes are just waiting to be cut untwisted or dropped because everyones heard it all beforeand most people only check up on you when youre not okas someone who has survived hanging herself youd think id have my shit together after  years of therapy but noi dont the worst part is knowing i could do it again and the only things i can think of people saying are that i was selfish and attention seekingbut those words would be as temporary as the time it takes for my body to become lifeless again it really sucks trying to get better and feeling like you only are a burden even when youre self sufficient,3.0
39564,coursework  nooooo,2.0
39565,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
39566,i wish they showed wicked the musical here in scotland ,2.0
39567,perrynoble  praying for you bruda just smile and love people to jesus ,0.0
39568,just sitting in the garden leting the sun do its job ,0.0
39569,silky when u figure that pic thing out lemme know amp u found u fund u a new whitegirl in wa  ,2.0
39570,kristywisty yeah i just uploaded a windmill pic for my  thing i think its my favourite today i have up to my monthly upload limit ,2.0
39571,dunnoson hope you werent running the roller coaster today  httpbitlyfirut,2.0
39572,stompthewalrus haha well i have lived in texas the past  years i think that explains itself lol si habla espaool ,2.0
39573,revising for veterinary a  p exam friday  i hate exams i love animals ,2.0
39574,when is my party then ,2.0
39575,i wanna play prototype ,2.0
39576,whats the flipping point the hell are we all just doing here dancing around like we know what were doing stress a lot get married stress a lot die i dont see a a way out im trapped,3.0
39577,gilwoodcs new maybe  thats my attempt to summarize tuning tips since the good old mf tuning tips ,0.0
39578,still waiting on brenda ,2.0
39579,at the beach ,0.0
39580,i want to tell my dad about my suicidal thoughts as the title states i would like to tell him whats going on but hes the kind of person that doesnt believe that youre ill unless youve broken a bone or have cancer mental illness doesnt exist in his book ive tried to joke about it or like say it halfserious to see his reaction but there isnt one is there anyone here who has told their parents or anyone close to you and how did you put it out there  im calling a therapist on monday thank you for your time,3.0
39581,missin all my friends from church ,2.0
39582,i am soooo hungry worked out super early felt like puking lol ,2.0
39583,ive never felt so alone i lost something recently that was connected to my dog growing up i had it with me every day and now its goneeverything looks dark and greyscale food really isnt tasting like anything i was already struggling with suicidal thoughts the night before i lost it and then everything got so much worsemy dog was all i had in my life the only family member who cared about me my brother bullied me my parents justnever cared or never acted like they cared they were always disappointed in me nothing i did was right or good enough im still not good enoughbut my dog believed in meand he passed away my sophomore year of high school i spiraled i depended more on my best friend a guy who ended up assaulting me repeatedlyeverything from high school is vague and foggy now it almost feels like it didnt happen but i remember the day  year after my boy died things had just started to be bad with my best friend and i just remember sobbing so much crying i was aloneabout a year later maybe i think i got something that reminded me of my dog and i kept it on me and it was like i wasnt alone anymorewhen i focused i could imagine him there again walking or sitting next to me but now hes gone id imagined him into the world i built in my head but hes not there anymore eitheri miss him so much i cant believe i lost him again and this time its all my fault,3.0
39584,should i break up with my gf because of how useless i am   ive been dating my gf for  years now and we love each other very much but for most of that time ive been unemployed due to mental illness  this past year ive finished school and got a certification and honestly thought i was doing better i got a job that sort of pertains to my certification and ive gone twice better than most other jobs ive gotten over the past  years however im here yet again in a random parking lot having a panic attack and wanting to kill myself this is with medicine i wouldnt have made it in my first day without itwe talk about our future all the time but i honestly dont know if im going to make it i feel like i should just break it off so she can find somebody that can actually have a life with her,3.0
39585,just had the best hot chocolate ever with chilli  on my way back to the uk now i need my lovely bedoh and a sunday roast mmmm,0.0
39586,im really gonna miss this apt when i move   ,2.0
39587,openhappiness hey ive seen behind the scenes wow its really great i cant wait to see the video you guys are doing a great job ,0.0
39588,royaltybites online join the grand chat ,0.0
39589,jonathanrknight the summer will never end youll b doing this  a while ,0.0
39590,anyone else feel like you dont have any good memories or perhaps just not enough ive never really done anything with my life im  college dropout spent the last year working  to  hours a week in my free time i either exercise watch tv get high or just go on long ass walks for hours because i have nothing better to really do i spent my whole childhood like that i was obese almost morbidly so and spent all my free time in front of the tv because it was the only thing that didnt insult me family sucked no friends but now i have no excuses i live on my own im in a different state i should be able to start over yet i cant get over the wasted years of my life and just continue to waste them i recently started dating an older woman and she tells me about all her fun college stories and her fun childhood stories she asks about mine and i come up blank ive had a relatively easy life not too complex i really have nothing much to complain about other than neglect which is not near as bad as some cases i have heard but i feel like most people who suffer also have great memories to fall back on like a safety net fun times that keep them going because they know life can be good ocassionally i dont really have that my life has been almostneutral i guess like really not that bad but also never good and i feel insanely jealous of literally everyone else i have no real reason to feel this way i have a good job with less hours now a girlfriend who loves me friends for the first time and i hate mtself more than ever i dont understand why she likes me at all and i live in fear of the day she stops liking me which feels inevitable i feel like a lost cause,3.0
39591,this is so depressing ,2.0
39592,jossiegee oh dang  im sorry i hope you dont have to wait that long to get it,2.0
39593,bseenandheard  u better had my name in there  to follow me ,0.0
39594,nicholaine heyyah sorry for not replying back before ,2.0
39595,doing nothing just wake up ,0.0
39596,adolfinguer still joking around with anette about what you said i would never have dared to say anything like that  i owe you,0.0
39597,whirlwind hello  thanks for your tweet nice to meet you  you can find percys pattern here  ,0.0
39598,its raining ,2.0
39599,milesstereos hey hottie   whats upp how was your show today  too bad i couldnt make it,2.0
39600,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
39601,is loving the fact that jor can talk and tell me what she wants amazing ,0.0
39602,is in ict but nearly finished work h but wishes she was outside in the bloody sun ,2.0
39603,amypalko great  looking forward to it weve missed you round here ,0.0
39604, plz reply  my last post i have never had a reply from a celeb it would make my day or my year lol ,0.0
39605,arikhanson thanks arik  are you going to be on journchat tonight,0.0
39606,where can i get some barney bananas  the best icecream they are all sold out  ,2.0
39607,hey i re read the answer and hey it was not kind ooooo not happy ,2.0
39608,work work work making that money  but its suckin up my summer  take me away,2.0
39609,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
39610,rt soyourelikethat mental health status going to work this early is not good for my mental health,0.0
39611,darcevarchy unfortunately not  just finished the journal article ive been reading   pages of torture  but relevant torture ,2.0
39612,ive been crying a lot lately im desperate and everything hurts me i thought that i was going better  ive even been seeing my therapist less one time every three weeks instead of once a week but lately ive been having many anxiety attacks in all kinds of situations specially at school something that happened is that my best friend left my school midyear so i dont have anyone to always be with the first days without him were good but for the last two weeks i cant stop feeling nervous and sad another one of my best friends has been so depressed that shes been taking antidepressants and has been put in a psychiatric hospitali try to not cry in the classroom which makes me feel even worse or during breaks because almost anybody from any year in my school makes fun of me and i dont want the kid who hates me to see me during lunch i feel bad and go to cry to the bathroom and i scroll reddit i feel like it doesnt matter anymore everyone at school is used to seeing me cry or depressed they cant understand how i feel the atmosphere in my house is toxic talking to my parents makes them feel bad and they cant do anything i try to go to see other people but when im feeling depressed i cant do anything everything hurts me like seeing people talking to each other in school and having fun or seeing the girls who im too afraid to talk the last time i talked about my wish of killing myself at school the director of the school wanted to put me in a hospital because she doesnt understand meposting this is painful i feel pathetic and im afraid that people reading this will think that im just some nervous teenager and wont answer i dont know what to do i dont know if its the right sub to post this im not even sure that people will care about what this but i want help with dealing with my sadness im hurt and i dont want to be hurt i feel like im not normal,3.0
39613,my greedy drunk rant things wont change years from now ill still be feeling the same so why not just end it now i feel greedy for even thinking iti dont wanna cause pain but i am finding it hard to go on hypotheticals feel like a cruel joke at this point i spend more time fantasizing about what i wish my life than actually living it  i try to live life i go to frat parties but i end up feeling so out of place by the endi feel like i am incapable of receivinggiving love i just want someone to look at mei know i have a great life but i just wanna throw it all away and honestly i think that makes me feel even worse i dont want to die i want to live happy but that doesnt seem possible at this point ill never be normal and i probably wont kill my self ill just live like this in purgatory foreverif you feel like leaving a comment id appreciate it thanks anyone who read it and sorry for the typos and for rambling and repeating myself,3.0
39614,can yall physically feel depression whenever i start to think depressive thoughts and they start to cloud my head i can almost physically feel it like its coming through my neck and just crowding my entire brain anyone else feel anything similar to this or should i get this checked,3.0
39615,rt spanishcvndy walking in the mall i feel like everyone is staring at me ,0.0
39616,armyofcrunk you just want to read what i write but who cares ,0.0
39617,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
39618,themandymoore so looking forward to your new album ,0.0
39619,what i like ron this is going to be terrible ,2.0
39620,getting prepared for lisa to leave for the week again ,2.0
39621,no tanning today sad ,2.0
39622,greggarbo hey greg how are the brothers doing xd ur awesome ,0.0
39623,coorporative email server down ,2.0
39624,jonasbrothers   please come to brazil again pleaseeeeeeee ,0.0
39625,readergirl he had to start summer school today ,2.0
39626,  so lucky to have a visit from a butterfly  ,0.0
39627,sundimoz  day weekend sounds wonderful  hope you had a good vacation ,0.0
39628,butifulmess ,2.0
39629,rt chuuzus the perks of being a wallflowera great movie with really sad and happy momentsbest ending for a teenage movie httpstco,0.0
39630,laura hollandholland law group is chatting about property taxesyou have to pay them soon ,2.0
39631,update for blog coming up soon i am just too occupied right now ,2.0
39632,should i tell my boss i am bipolar i am known as a very hard worker i have only been working this job for  weeks so far and have already been promoted with another promotion only about a month out this is usually the case at any job i work there is a real problem though i have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past i believed it was just depression that came in waves but about  years ago my doctor sent me to a shrink who said i am suffering from severe manic depressive symptoms i have never ever told a boss i have mental health issues and in the past i have come close to losing my jobs due calling in and making up excuses for why i have been in bed for  to  hours and cant force myself to get up to tell you the truth i dont want these promotions and would be  happy in life if i could make  an hour working  hours a week i dont work fast food or anything btw i work in a production facility full time and have been working full time since i was  i just dont know what to do or what to expect as an outcome from what i choose to do,3.0
39633,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
39634,answering questions on exceltialivecom join us ,0.0
39635,thought id escaped my childhood demons as a  yo female ive had a pretty happy postcollege life of course its had some fluctuations but for the last year ive had a steady job building experience in my field but the last few months have made me realize my life goals were just a distraction from what i dealt with in high schoolfrom age  id dealt with body image issues and depressionanxiety im not totally sure because ive never been diagnosed i struggled with bulimia for roughly  years cutting and taking pills was a common occurrence from ages  i never wanted to die ive always been hopeful but i just wanted someone to actually listen i wanted to physically express to the people around me how i constantly felt on the inside no one ever noticed my parents blissfully never noticed friends at school knew but no one talked about it and took me as being dramaticafter going to college i struggled a little my freshman year i definitely overdrank but overall i had an incredible time and made great friends after meeting my current so my senior year were still together  years later hes not an emotional person at all he struggles to sympathize with people who feel extreme emotions which isnt a bad thing but its put me in a position where the physical expressions i used to use to try and show people my feelings definitely would not work but i also dont have a person to talk to about my feelings sometimes i dont even think he understands the severity of what i went through when i was younger in my own mind ive convinced myself he views it all as a weakness and that i need to hide it to avoid him not wanting to be with me anymore im not even sure what i came here looking for but its been a long time since ive been openly emotional in this kind of way and i just need to be reminded that im not pathetic for what ive been through,3.0
39636,i miss my baby and want to go get her  why do i have to play the middle man in child transportation situations bleh,2.0
39637,rt cournestone in conclusion      im sad,2.0
39638,make money at home be your own boss stressfree over  monthly ,2.0
39639,forgot to bring my sneakers so i can use the treadmill ,2.0
39640,nickymcb people want u to grow up so fast and be mature all the time  ,2.0
39641,neha i like that quotsistermonsterquot will have to use with my sistermonster ,0.0
39642,xxxrobyn cool ,0.0
39643,wishes kyleschaffler was awake so i could gossip with him ,2.0
39644,i just got in not too long ago im tired as all get out my whole body aches so damn bad owwwie ,0.0
39645,rt fitwithhips rt if youre vegan and dont have deficiencies ,0.0
39646,jesznadieh you english is fine i was just being sarcastic  ignore me ,0.0
39647,done at body english alreadylamemy feet hurtnow at dinos looking way too hott for this place ,2.0
39648,starving but no food here and i think lee and i are gonna get chinese later need dinnerrrrrrrrr ,2.0
39649,every youu every me ,0.0
39650,i love love love silverstein  work tomorrow boo,0.0
39651,grr tmobile it should not cost me  to get rid of you ,2.0
39652,back at it  kingdom praise,0.0
39653,and its  expect later today to suck more than originally planned  ,2.0
39654,ronnyvengeance ohh haha thank you  the sitting down chibi didnt turn out very well though d,0.0
39655,sunny according to ipod its  degrees ,0.0
39656,justcassy omg well done cassy ,0.0
39657,michaelalacey ha ha i used to be able to   dont know what happened however will persevere ,0.0
39658,mikeyil unfortunately im not lucky enuf to be using a mac stuck on a dell ,2.0
39659,just watched the match of pacquiao and hatton pcquiao won knockout  round    pilipino ako ,0.0
39660,i dont think i have friends anymore and its my fault im from a rural town in australia the community is fairly close knit i had a pretty good friend circle the first culling so to speak was when i left grade  to work full time  of my friends stopped talking to me yeah thats expected when you leave school i still had a few mates that i would consider my best mates we used to go drinking go get lunch hang out and play video games just like mates do then i had the genius idea of leaving my home town because i felt like i had outgrown it i left and now live at the beach ive been gone for over a year and now nobody even messages me i try reaching out and dont even get replies well today i noticed they were staying at the same beach that i live at checked on snapmaps they were  minutes up the road and couldnt even say gooday i guess they all hate me for leaving anyways i struggle making friends and im just so fucking alone man jobless lonely loser yay,3.0
39661,ugh georgia theater burned down ,2.0
39662,am i depressed or just me i force myself to do things i get out of bed i leave the house every day i dont wallow half the time however i feel like im on the verge of crying i feel sad like i can deal with whats going on right now but something could push me over the edge at any second it rarely does i rarely actually cry and ive been like this for as long as i can rememberwhen i look at the symptoms of depression i can relate to a lot of them but have i lost a sense of pleasure in things i used to enjoy are my sleep habits any different has my appetite changed no this is just how i am nothing about my emotional state changes even on days where great things happen this is how i feel i dont ever remember enjoying things there are things that i do that i want to do but i dont know that i enjoy them its been that way for as long as i can remember i just keep swimming as the fish saysi read through posts here and i think to myself im just being whiny the depressive symptoms that people describe here are much worse than what i experience but then again i dont really know if i was happy and then i felt like this would i be able to get out of bed and go to the storedo people in this world actually feel happy all the time do people enjoy doing things is something wrong with me because i dont do i have a problem or is this just life is this even something that should be fixed how am i supposed to know if im depressed if i dont recall ever feeling any other wayany advice on what to do or not to do would be appreciated thanks,3.0
39663,wifi at stars still tmobile ,2.0
39664,the amount of anxiety i got watching this video httpstcoyddkmouxed,2.0
39665,talkin to both of mine ,0.0
39666,rt itsmattbarrett hey my names matt i have awful anxiety crippling depression and daddy issues,2.0
39667,my ex tried to trick me into thinking she was pregnant with my child ive been fucked up since sorry for the repost i decided i should reword this a little bit i wasnt focusing the first time i wrote it ill get to my focusing problem laterim  years old and currently a sophomore in high school during my freshman year i started dating this girl not gonna name her for privacy reasons we dated for about  months before i started to hear from my friends that she was spreading rumors about me behind my back i dont remember exactly what the rumors were about but they certainly pissed me off not long after i broke up with herabout  months pass before i get a text from a random number its a text from the girl who is claiming shes pregnant with my kid she said shes moving away and doesnt want me anywhere near the child this scares me a lot i start freaking out and have my first full blown panic attack i remember i couldnt stop shaking for about a full hour and even though i was crying i didnt feel any emotion eventually i told my parents because i didnt know what else to do my parents contact hers and they have a long conversation eventually they get her to admit she was lying i text her immediately after asking her why she would do this to me i never did anything to anger her or provoke her i hadnt even talked to her in almost two months we get into a long drawn out argument where she just throws insults at me even going as far as to call my new girlfriend racial slurs i was dating a black girl at the time i eventually just stop messaging her realizing she didnt have any intention other than to hurt me the next day at school i just dont really feel anything i honestly dont remember much from the day after i just zoned out in all my classes my ex had leaked my nudes that week so half the people in the school would stare at me as i walked down the hallway im not embarrassed by my body at all it was just the invasion of privacy that really embarrassed me i stopped talking to my friends and kept to myself most of the time i stopped talking to my girlfriend which caused our relationship to end not long after my grades in school started to struggle and i just always felt sadi eventually found out from a friend that my ex was pregnant but it just wasnt my child she went to a party got super wasted had sex with a random dude and got pregnant after we broke up she then tried to trick me to think it was my child because she didnt want to go through the pregnancy alone eventually she got an abortion i shouldve mentioned this earlier but shes  two years older than meits been about a month and a half since this happened and my mood has been rising steadily however i still suffer from random attacks where i feel like i need solitude and alone time terribly or ill die sometimes this happens in class and ill have to rush to the restroom and sit in the stalls till i calm down i cant seem to keep focused for more than  minutes at a time which is making it very hard to keep my grades up my parents dont trust me anymore after i told them i had sex with my ex and sometimes ill just get angry for no reason and feel like i want to scream if anyone can suggest anything that might help me please do ive been struggling,3.0
39668,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39669,nothing is interesting anymore spent a huge amount of money on a gaming laptop thinking i could just go back to playing video games and forget everything but sadly it didnt work ,3.0
39670,shannonmelliott i hope ur ok thinking about u ,2.0
39671,someone get britney to follow meee  love britney spears,0.0
39672,naistress ako ha,0.0
39673,joshbiggs omg yes   rofl ,0.0
39674,i have sooo much work to do thinking im gonna do it outside in the lush sunshine ,0.0
39675,saosonic youre going to have to give me a list of all your nicknames ,0.0
39676,dcuthbert lol  not in the network service provider world dude network and transport layers are king for us ,0.0
39677,whoneedsspammersanywaytherejustawasteofeveryonestimeandalltheydoistrytosellyoujunkyoureallydontevenneedinthefistplace onelove ,0.0
39678,im sad stop,0.0
39679, hows the popcorn coming along ,2.0
39680,i saw many smiles today it warmed m heart to say the   ily  ,0.0
39681,feikoi i can see why you get distracted by fics all the time if this is the sort of stuff you read ,0.0
39682,dont u hate when ur dads girlfriend tries to get into ur business i know i do ,2.0
39683,is free and has time to concentrate on fashion school and latest hobby photography ,0.0
39684,resurrecthis congrats ,0.0
39685,astridaml  i mean that those quotgreat impossible lovesquot are last forever eternal in the peoples mind including ours ,0.0
39686,no work tonight  looks like this lady is gonna be doing laundry all day exciting right,0.0
39687,rt imgabyg when the anxiety give ya the shakes lt,2.0
39688,starwing nope quite some time ago but now only online ,0.0
39689,sweet caroline just came on at the karaoke place  imr,2.0
39690,going with cousin to see house for fun ,0.0
39691,  wow corporate attire ,0.0
39692,seriously hates being sick  but my temperature is going down slowly already d,2.0
39693,is new to the place and very bored  sucks,2.0
39694,megandresslar sorry megan wouldnt be appropriate for me to just hand that out ,2.0
39695,im goin home on fri  a week cant wait but then back in until august ,2.0
39696,going to fatmawati with my mom and titis prepare for next week ,0.0
39697,off of work i hit my shin ,2.0
39698,rt wazsupabenoja learn to manage your stress or else it will manage you,1.0
39699,kyle remove the tweet notices from your phone thanks ,0.0
39700,is everyone at a party tonight ,2.0
39701,wendellcole and wut the hell is quotstanky legquot for real for real like yo they makin our generation look jacked up  ,2.0
39702,rt brademarino i have an anxiety disorder but sure ill take two red bulls and a green tea latte to go,1.0
39703,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
39704,wolfleah good ,0.0
39705,uh ohday three breakdown coming up in the car ,2.0
39706,daneshm hey you found us and went all the way with twitter oauth i see ,0.0
39707,aubreyoday we miss you aubrey ,2.0
39708, someone heard it on a boston radio station ,0.0
39709,yay cuts a dont like invade ma house yay ,2.0
39710,pviktor yes  wish people would stop calling it a google challenger as it is nothing like google doesnt work on  for a start ,2.0
39711,o was on quickchat never replied tho ,2.0
39712,tweets help i cant sleep  malem ini campaknya bikin  bgttt the worst deh gatel in every parts of my body  imagine that ,2.0
39713,is a terrible twitterer ,2.0
39714,moved to a new city feeling severely depressed want to go home im not sure what im going to get out of this but im sitting here balling my eyes out in a new apartment that i hate in a new city that feels like its swallowing me up and i dont know what to doback in january i made a decision to move i had spent over ten years in my previous city was feeling really stuck and decided i needed a change i immediately started talking to one of my old companies that has an office in the city i was moving to to see if there were any open positions and lo and behold they were hiring for a role i was somewhat interested in so i started interviewing and one of the first conversations i had with hr was about compensation they asked me what i wanted and then told me they had to check budgets to see if it would be approved they came back the next day and said it was approved so we continued down the interview process i knew i would get the offer because im close with many of the people in that office so when we confirmed the pay i started turning the wheels on the logistics of the movei found a  month sublet in an apartment that i admittedly didnt take the time to explore much i had a couple of conversations with one of the guys there are  of us total we facetimed and he walked me through the place and it looked fine from what i could tell so i pulled the trigger on it and signed the sublease i knew i had to act quick on itabout a week before i was set to move i got the official offer from the company and it was  less than what they had initially told me i was livid they said the budgets were off but they would see if there was anything more they could do they came back two days later and still couldnt budge i asked them to try again and finally they came back and said it was final and they couldnt change it i dont have any other offers on the table so i had to accept iti just up and moved my entire life on an understanding of what my new life would be like and i feel like i was completely baited and switchedto top it all off i moved into the apartment and i absolutely hate it its a one bedroom duplex thats been turned into a four bedroom there are no windows anywhere other than in my room which is a garden level room theres no ventilation so it smells kind of funky and i cant open my window without dirt and grime spilling in since theres no screen ive been here one week i dont start the job until the end of the month and i already want to leaveall of this feels like its absolutely crushing me i woke up this morning and immediately had a panic attack  how am i going to make this work i want to feel driven and confident that it will work out and that im okay but im regretting everything and its crippling me i can barely get out of bed i dont even want to work out or do my laundry or anythingim scared and i dont know what to do i dont want to be a failure but i cant pretend like im happy here im  years old and if i moved home it would kill my pride but is it worth it if it gets me out of here my head is spinning,3.0
39715, im sorry  my condolences and prayers hes with the father of us all,2.0
39716,the world feels gray i have nothing to do i have no motivation or energy to do anything i live alone at college and i only have one class i dont need to do anything i wake up play video games eat and sleep food gives me happiness for a fraction of a second video games are boring too i dont know which game i want to play so i just go back to the same few games winning in them doesnt make me feel a single emotion i have to keep music playing and play some tv on my laptop just to get enough stimuli to do anything the only reason i play is because i have nothing to do and there are some interesting people online not that i enjoy their presence but every now and then theyre weird and i like weird oh yeah maybe its my diet and lack of exercise or not hanging out with my friends nope well maybe a bad diet but i cant meal prep because my kitchen is tiny and i have no dishwasher so if i ever cook thats another hour of hand cleaning everything but exercise i feel nothing when i went like once a month id feel accomplished for a day or two while im sore now i went  times each week for the last  weeks and now even the gym bores me i used to care about what other people think but at this point i drive to the gym walk in do a little workout get bored out of my mind just use machines till at least an hour is done and then go home i tried working out with people but hard to find a consistent partner maybe ill feel better if i just hang out with my friends nope every second around other people just makes me wish i was more drunk and to make it worse all my friends want to do is go to bars or hang out at home and watch netflix i can watch shows that i like instead of your bullshit if i went home and for the last time i dont like the bars ive told them that atleast  times but all of them just love going to the bars its just too much noise overpriced alcohol too many random people and the only thing on tv is sports which i only watch to kill time i just got a text from my friend like  minutes ago saying hey lets go to local bar name at ive tried over and over again to get them to do other stuff like bowling or comedy clubs or literally anything besides video games smoking and drinking and nope theyll say theyre down but they never follow through that ive started going by myself to movies or anywhere because they never do theyre still nice people but i just dont vibe with them as much even my various other friend groups just feel monotonous ,3.0
39717,off to bed wondering where to go and what to do with my life ,2.0
39718,great weekend lined up problem is ive got eight hours of work to go first ,2.0
39719,oh noooo i woke up  ,2.0
39720,she is fixing me steak and potatoes tonighti loooovvveeeeee her  belly will b full and balls drainedshe keeps her man happydo u,0.0
39721,missed the blizzcon q again ,2.0
39722,im so damn tired   think i go to bed very early again,2.0
39723,internationalh soooo the wknd is gone amp im still lookin  just relax on myxer u jus  all about me ,2.0
39724,its absolutely roasting no way im going to get to sleep in this heat ,2.0
39725,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
39726,home alone   to go or not to go,2.0
39727,cakelyn you are sorry to have to be the one to break it to you ,2.0
39728,quoti cant breavequot ,2.0
39729,katiebarnes no silly   i was outside on the patio and there one was crawling along the pavement  it was great,0.0
39730,hereisjames is it an adventure let me know ,0.0
39731,skubastevee you serious about the dogs  that is sooooo messed upsorry man ,2.0
39732,that overwhelming feeling when utter darkness and complete silence are the only things welcome its come back for a visit that dreadful feeling that feels like nothing but despite feeling like nothing it feels like everything and i hate it i want to scratch it out numb it destroy the black toxicity clogging my whole being at times like these i just crawl under the covers shoes still on and become one with the dark shadow swallowing me from the inside at least then among the dark silence i experience some bizarre balance between the exterior and interior none of this makes sense but yet it makes perfectly sense to my troubled mind hopefully tomorrow i can face the world again ,3.0
39733,off to watch  ,0.0
39734,samusbananus no marsiscoming does not mean mars is going to literally hit earth  check out  if you want to know more ,0.0
39735,bindik live in  tent for the summer best of both worlds  also mobile broadband makes houses redundant now  ,0.0
39736,joemcintyre welcome to the world of twitter  lets get this xx,0.0
39737,oooooh i could murder a coffee but its just far to late here in little britain so i mustnt  are you a coffee or tea drinker,2.0
39738, my sweet home ,0.0
39739,hmm missing my frnds the r da  in the world  omg wish twitter had emoticons wud b ,0.0
39740,now have new windows and mess is slowly disappearing must use an old window as a coldframe need ideas from the net on how to do it ,0.0
39741,so tired dreading waking up at  ,2.0
39742,kiajd its not ,2.0
39743,thinks spacejam is a trueee classic ,0.0
39744,why did my son think  was a good time to play w mommyi am on that coffee somethin serious today  the joys of cosleeping ,0.0
39745,or wipe my tears ,2.0
39746,it is in the cheek bone structure ,0.0
39747,i cant do anything i literally cant move i get out of bed and lay down on the couch the wellbutrin chased out the suicidal thoughts but thats all it did i can go to work but nothing after and nothing before ive got perfectly good food in the fridge thatll make me feel good if i eat it but i dont because i had half a slice of pizza and a kitkat bar at worki miss doing art i miss expirimenting with cooking instead of making everything just taste the same i miss building things i miss spending time with people and actually doing stuff and not just smoking i miss not literally staring at my phone for  hours a dayi miss not having excuses and using all of the tools and machines i painstakingly saved up for and the shop that i put together im tired ill do it tomorrow its too cold its too hot im not feeling iti miss going outside and having fun i could have spent this whole winter digging big tunnels and having fun in the record snow with my girlfriend or my friends but i spent it inside alone and cold we never went back to the ice caves like we planned we never went winter camping like we planned i say i want to go camping more this summer but im sure ill find excuses not toim tired of feeling lazy im tired of being lazy ill get up to start something and then just return to the couch because of honestly i dont know so ill sit here and do nothing and watch the time melt away,3.0
39748,xxandip how many is that ray has won now ,0.0
39749,were not asking for your permission when someone is suicidal and says something like why wont you let me die it can be very easy to dismiss their plea its not like we need anyones permission its entirely within our ability to commit that final act so it seems like were just asking to get someone else involved or for attention but these pleas need to be taken seriously every timei admit that i am guilty of saying the same thing  why cant my parents my siblings my friends just let go of me and the reason i wish this is because the depression is so horrible that i desperately want to die but at the same time because the depression is so bad it has destroyed my motivation and left me sapped of the mental fortitude needed to actually do it i want instead for those around me to push away and perhaps that will tilt the scales enough to have me do it it feels like im hanging off the edge of a cliff and all my loved ones are holding on to me its entirely within my power to pull my hands away from them and fall but i just dont have the energy i wish theyd just let go for me,3.0
39750,i want so badly to want to live i feel so bad for the way i am im sorry i truly am its been a long couple years and ive really tried  therapists so many medications daily exercise diet changes for some reason something inside me wants me dead i honestly just cant take anymore ,3.0
39751,hughsbeautiful did i ever tell you that i love your lj if not im telling you now ,0.0
39752,me cool  just added myself to the httpwefollowcom twitter directory under  cafe coffeeshop eating,0.0
39753,well i have to do more homework ill be back later ,0.0
39754,mercer hotel till tuesday ,0.0
39755,lalavazquez  sorry the nuggets lost ,2.0
39756,muka jaman sma gada jerawat atau bruntusan sama sekali cuy gapernh stress mikirin tugas kerjaannya cuma ketawa ter httpstcogfbvdojoby,2.0
39757,megodbike well this morning i have an examsooo if it was this afternoon i would be done with it ,0.0
39758,roommates make everything worse im in college and i used to live by myself last year but this year i decided i would get some roommates to hopefully start being around people more horrible mistake before if i couldnt get out of bed until  or  pm so be it now if the clock goes past noon and im not out of bed yet i feel so ashamed of myself that i cant even get out of my room to face my roommates theyre okay girls i just cant handle feeling like my miserable life is on display to them  i havent eaten anything in a full  hours because im too ashamed and embarrassed to go use the kitchen obviously this is social anxiety on top of depression but honestly im just so done fml,3.0
39759, oooh i love andy samberg hes awesome ,0.0
39760,frederickvan you wont be dissapointed ,0.0
39761,is with mi madre i feel sick ,2.0
39762,xvahx hello vanessa  im from philippines hope you can come and visit us soon ,0.0
39763,jenniferjchung dude michele just talked about you ,0.0
39764,how do the weekends manage to go by so fast  have a good week everyone ,0.0
39765,wow finaly done with this week of to the crib rest  a bit and out to party ,0.0
39766,i just want to break my stuff i know that people get the urge to just break something and it can help calm them but i never get that i just want to break my stuff my things things that i worked on things that mattered to me things that are important i want to destroy it all i dont deserve any of itthis is just me venting never really broken anything like that on purpose i just want to vent which means most likely not going to reply to back but thanks if you did care enough to read andor share something,3.0
39767,griffindejaco sorry i fell asleep on you last nightgetting to bed early tonightbut you can text me in the morning ,0.0
39768,rt dannoajyd thanks to trumps tariffs farmers now need a depression era bailout after allowing  billion for the farmers donnie h,2.0
39769,just noticed his browser wont load anything  lame ass shit  luckily i has chess nao ,0.0
39770,jennifalconer  my followers seem non existantonly  ,2.0
39771,tired of being a talentless unhappy existence everything is so exhaustive i lack motivation and passion in my life for so many years now and im only in my theres literally nothing im good at the very few things im a little bit interested in i am also bad at and lose motivation after doing it for a day there is nothing im really enjoying i must always force myself to do something alwayssome people start doing things because its fun to them and im overwhelmed with everything even if i put some effort into things im very belowaverage theres no reason to keep trying i fail every timethe only things i am capable of are mindless thingsi do not have a single friend still living at home and no goals in life if at least i had talent in a single thing even if i had id probably hate doing it dthis post will lead nowhere but i had to write it everything is so pointless,3.0
39772,smoothies and friday after next ,0.0
39773,ya wanna know what i miss trl thats what summer just sucks without it ,2.0
39774, good lucky  mtv movie awards ,0.0
39775,coward for months now maybe years ive had thoughts of wanting it all to come to an end ive gone from googling easy ways to just simply thinking of other ways only thing that holds me back is being a coward hurting my family friends i know the effects of if i were to be gone for good and i cant bare the thought of the pain others would go throughbut being here is even more difficultim not on medication anymore not going to therapy anymoreim not sure how to somehow mute the feeling since theres no way it can go away completely you knowdammit ,3.0
39776,why do i feel like this and how can i help depression every single day all i think about is how i dont want to go through this again i feel like i do the same thing in fact i know i do the same thing every single day i have a system mondays  fridays i wake up at  get ready until  go to school from  i take the bus that takes forever go to school take the bus back and walk home and do whatever i need to do to get ready for the next day all over again on weekends i babysit and do laundry i dont usually go out with friends or anything because of a big thing that happened awhile ago that i dont want to get into i dont drive i cant get a job for many reasons so i have no freedom to do anything my mom is a single mom with my sister and i so shes working most of the time thats why im good at schedules and things like that i absolutely hate school i hate living with my mom i love her to death so not because i dont like her or anything i hate not being able to have control of my life because adults think that im not mature enough for it i feel i have matured alot more than other kids may have my mother ex boyfriend my sisters dad was physically somewhat mentally abusive  manipulative  sexually abusive and an alcoholic the first time when my mom found out about one of the things he has done sexually to me they took a break for one month then got back together she was pregnant at the time i forgave him because i was naive and young and honestly didnt even have a say they forced me to be in a room with him so he could apologize and i was forced to say it was okay a couple months after he moved back in they went on a trip for his birthday i came back my mom told me he got blackout drunk n he had beat the shit out of her so much has happened after thati feel that life has progressively gotten worse except for the past few months they havent been good but just nothing has really been happening  which is good but i crave a life i want a good life it doesnt have to be great but just average idk i feel i do have had major trauma from all these past event what he did to me what he did to my mom at times i will feel so depressed and i wont want to get up because its just like i simply do not want to live this life i have thought about suicide plenty of times the only reason why i havent is because of my mom and my bestfriend every single day that im not thinking about school or whatever all i think about is how i wish i didnt have to be here or how i wish that i didnt have to live how do i feel happy and how do i stop thinking about my past and move on ,3.0
39777,was it ever real i felt like two years ago i was genuinely depressed i always doubted it was real then i always wondered how much of it was self inflicted how much was for attention then i got better i looked back and could say that i definitely was now im not sure again first i abandoned my friend who i helped and she gave everything she fucking had to help me she still says what i did wasnt a big deal but i know thats not true then i abandoned my ex girlfriend she was getting worse and i didnt fucking do anything after establishing myself as someone who understood and could help ive defined myself as someone who will help no matter what after what i felt and ive proved that im not that person to myself i cant help people i only hurt them i wrote my fucking college essay on helping others because depression taught me empathy but did it really im a fraud im not a good person im too insecure to look for a relationship and im too afraid of hurting them to be in one im too afraid of being hurt and rejection im too afraid of ruining a third persons life i hate my body and i hate myself i thought i was a helper and know thats not true anymore if im not a helper than who am i im fucking nobody im nothing i want to be forgotten about so the people i hurt dont have to carry the memory of my actions that in itself is selfish just like me id rather be forgotten than have to make what i did right and feel guilty for doing it at all i hate myself,3.0
39778,ohamps corse today was so hard and went all day  but i passed ,0.0
39779,anothera   ,2.0
39780,bkbap have you ever got cussed out for not responding to a dm this one chick called me a can kicker because i didnt respond ,2.0
39781,is back im  living with my bfi work in the family business and i live the same day every daydont go out and have no interesting for anythingtry to hide my feelings from everyonei laugh and say jokes with my bf and my friends and the next minutes i go to the bathroom and cant stop cryingi cry in my pillow when next to me my bf is sleepinggo to kitchen and have a cigarette to relax and then go back to bedi have no problems in my lifei have familybffriends who loves meno economic problemswhy i am so ungrateful bitchyesterday was a shitty ugly daymy stomach was on fire and today i was driving to work weeping in tearsi cant listen to music as i remember my self without feeling downim not selfharming or anythingim just a weak and ungrateful piece of shitthank you for your time and hope its helps someone to know that is not alone,3.0
39782,i hate seeing people unhappy i feel like i should try to fix things ,2.0
39783,me to jake what makes you happy jakeburchfiel nothing im a sad emo gorl who jams out to papa roach everyday of my life,1.0
39784,marialkanellis   aww such a fab pic  x,0.0
39785,yungzm i need some of that hey what happen to my call back im throwing the friendship card on you now ,2.0
39786,im not made to deal with this much stress i have learned to set my life up to be easy stress free over the last  years last year i got married and have a insta family now with  kids and  dogs its a little stressful adapting to a new life style but super rewarding since march watching this covid  grow and grow and my worst fears comming true  cases now  i feel my depression push back in im constantly reminded of the world falling apart and seeing people suffer and worried whats to come all i can think about is if my life was a video game i would delete it and restart when i tried to commit suicide  almost  years ago i was flooded with the feeling of just stoping the pain and hurt i  feel pain physically in my chest and its horrible its hard not to be selfish but now i have  little love bugs and  furry kids and a hubby they are home safe but i am essential service a hcw so i feel stressed to bring this to my work place and i feel stressed bring it home i just am not made to handle stress like this i come home immediately shower get in my pjs and climb into bed and eat chips icecream candy and  or  glasses of wine i dont know how to help myself other then eating and being super lazy its only started and im already falling apart tell me what to do,3.0
39787,continuing education thoughts and fears for those of you who attended how vital was it to attend everyday i start today and i dont know if i can actually do this i have depression and it never really gets better so waiting another semester isnt really an option im also pregnant and dont know if ill be able to juggle a kid and online school once september roles around and online is an option i just want to upgrade because my highschool marks were fairly bad but i am so tired i can barely get out of bed i cant sleep at night ive been getting treated for depression almost all of my life and none of it has given me the will to live my life i dont know if college is right for me i cant even really work honestly because i just feel like i cant amount to enough my boyfriend doesnt make enough money for me to be a stay at home parent but i just feel really stuck i have no passion for anything anymore i never really have so finding my dream career is out of the question i wanted to be a veterinarian but the closest school for it is an entire city away we cant just pick up and move to fulfill my dreams and its a shitty city anyway i feel like the best option would to not be here i know that collegeschool isnt for everybody but now adays i cant afford to not go to school i have to support my family but the thought of it gives me an anxiety attack ,3.0
39788,is sitting on the balcony and enjoying the sun ,0.0
39789,paulaabdul yay im gonna watch you tomorrow night  sleep well paula xoxo,0.0
39790,rt paulatics usscobblerguy nathanhrubin my husband needed brain surgery world class neurosurgeons removed a wedge of his skull used l,2.0
39791,moving day here at the day jobmy packings all done just working until quittin time in two hours ,0.0
39792,leaving for our sunday routine breakfast then farmers market  ,0.0
39793,brettgrace i will loom into it  ive never been to nz i want to go though my friend lives there what city did you go to,0.0
39794,man vs wild watch it now ,0.0
39795,lauramoorcroft i cant wait its coming on wednesday ,0.0
39796,hungry waiting on my chicken terriyaki because its too gross to go get lunch ,2.0
39797,i dont know but thank you ive always wondered how the lives of the people around me would change if i were to commit suicide apart from my close family no one would be really affected regardless i have never thought i wanted to kill myself or at least not for the moment i have fantasized if you can even call it that that when i turn about  or  i would do it i would do it at a point in my life in which i could see where life took me im just in it to se where i get i have no motivation and i lost hope a while back well that might change tonight tonight for the first time ever ive been actually contemplating suicide it might be a stupid idea to post this idk i never share my feelings and thoughts to anyone but i just thought why not make a post the few people that see it will forget about it in less than a week so it really doesnt matter made a throwaway account and posted this however after i post this i will not open the account again i still dont know if i will do what i mentioned i will try to debate it in my head for as long as i can thank you for reading ,3.0
39798,about to work on my fitness had to go back to work tonight  hope u feel better miss danielle being sick is not fun ,2.0
39799,loves angels baseball oh wait my tv literally lost fsn as i was typing this but now it is back on since it took so long to type ,0.0
39800,courtneycummz ,0.0
39801,i have the fever of the hay ,2.0
39802,too many fake account here ,2.0
39803,hard drive crashed anyone know how to get the pics off my ipod and back on to my computer i am going to lose  pics ,2.0
39804,i keep my last  tabs of antipsychotic just in case i was attending therapy from feb  to my last session on may  i was still in school during the sessions and nothing life changing happened the meds did prevent me from another suicide attempt i missed one session in june  because we had to traveli havent been back since its not like i didnt want to go backwe mum and i just stopped im scared to go back because life has been relatively chill these days i stay at home because i got kicked out of school and afraid to tell my mom about taking the meds again i dont feel like i need them anymore but just in case i end up batshit crazy again im keeping my last  tabs of antipsychotics hoping it would help  ,3.0
39805,edmundbolton we bought a kia in february  nows a great time to buy theyre desperate,0.0
39806,thank you charlie por hacer el mall run conmigo ,0.0
39807,cashny classic next beat street then breakin ,0.0
39808,i dont know what to do my life is a mess honestly i dont want to die but i dont want to be here my depression is usually never this bad but recently shits gone south hard according to my therapist i was most likely raped as a child which i cant even fucking remember which is fantastic i cant even tell which of my memories are real because it turns out one of my favorite memories never happened it was just my mind trying to hide things i met this one girl who is basically me but a girl and we dated for a little bit but then she broke up with me my therapist wants to put me either in a mental hospital for awhile or to put me on anti depressants and i know thats not that bad but ive been on pills most of my life and i just got off of them last year and i dont want to be put back on the only reason i havent killed myself yet is because i made a promise to act in a musical and i know that they wouldnt be able to find a new lead in time the other reason is that ive been waiting  years for the new animal crossing and im gonna play it even if its the last thing i do i just wanna be good enough for people to compliment me instead of ganging up on me i dont even know who are my friends anymore i just wanna close my eyes and up somewhere other than earth,3.0
39809,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39810, try sumthg unussual ,0.0
39811,my boots cant come neither can my stripper heels  ill miss you guys,2.0
39812,i told my dad about all this shit my depression my anxiety did he care he acted like he did for a minute came ,1.0
39813, cool i was thinking bout listening to some of my jeff buckley cds while im home sick today he always makes me feel better ,0.0
39814,cant sleep i really shouldnt have read those scary stories ealier now i feel like such a baby ,2.0
39815,oy gevalt this movie is heartbreaking the boy in the striped pajamas god is this the heart of pure evil is this how bad we can get ,2.0
39816,hostbaby just had a great gig tonight does tuesday count for memorial day weekend  ,0.0
39817,shagreenxo agreed aunt flow is a horrible person  lol,0.0
39818,im so broken i have a good job i have a supportive partner i am constantly challenged by coworkers intellectually i had a failed marriage sure half a decade ago but it was really mutual so thats not it i am in relatively good shape ive been around the world  i dress well i take effort into my appearance buti am simply not there this all feels like an exercise in futility shes going to get fat guy is going to get weird complacent my friends dont understand my passion in the change happening in society right now im eastern european btwi think the break down of society is maybe fuel added to a fire of my nihilism i eat at at great restaurants and wear decent clothes every day i see the worst hell outside of my widow everyone looks ugly and with no reason to existwhen i am in the world i see elderly people treated as an inconvenience no gentlemen to hold doors for women is it just me or do you perceive human interactions differently based on the mind frame you are you inthis might sound like a trivial way to arrive at suicide,3.0
39819,i suffer from frequent suicidal thoughts last week i laid down in bed tied a belt around my neck and and pulled it tight i started to feel as if i was going to pass out so i quickly untied it im not sure what stopped me though maybe it was fear im curious what you guys use to keep yourselves going how do you persuade yourself to keep living i see no path for me which will lead to happiness and suicide is something thats always on the back of my mind,3.0
39820,mcdonalds run because bonnie and carol failed to bring me food ,2.0
39821,goingtoseaworld what a shitty thing to happen  hope you are able to get it replaced ok  ,2.0
39822,madtoydesign i know crazy  just seen yer nu dunny designs man  lush stuff were busy crankin our next submissions too ,0.0
39823,teevee and stufff  decorating the house for my party laterr ,0.0
39824,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
39825,hey i need some advice so i have lost so many people in my life my best friendabout  other friends all to suicide i have lost friends when i try venting and i dont want to risk anyone i have left ive tried therapy ive tried medicationi have clinical depression i have no where else to go i need some advice i need friends who know how im feeling i just needed to vent some where thanks to all who reply tho i dont expect many people to respond,3.0
39826,i have had a reqally sad and bad week  first find out on tuesday im transfering to a different school ,2.0
39827,tarek moon i think i am going to write weird zombie in my bio ,0.0
39828,merytsekhmet all i need for pdf is a macintosh   via limako,0.0
39829,its going to be a long day ,2.0
39830,since i was  or   people organizations and tv have been poking provoking and provocating me im being constantly attacked to point where idc anymore say what you want no one knows me even though they know everything before they do the cultivation process has worked wonders in the past few years where the youth cannot stop talking and are more advanced compared to the youth of  years ago all these minor tweaks you see nowadays are because of me and if you hate it hate me for it i apologize for it completely ,3.0
39831,last day of school ,0.0
39832,jesselavery  that sucks its a free outdoor concert,2.0
39833,zzzz going to bed ,0.0
39834,thnx to the swine fluclasses at my college were  week   mis  ,2.0
39835,forsakendaemon yeah fair enough didnt realize sorry ,0.0
39836,when you cant remember if youve taken your meds do you take it just in case or do you skip it,3.0
39837,if a depressed person dies of suicide then they didnt kill themselves it was this system that killed them it was the pressures of capitalism which you experience whether youre rich or poor it was the crippling pain of isolation it was the negative feedback they got from their friends and families throughout their whole life it was their lack of luck that they didnt get enough help to pull them through depression it was the chemical or electrical imbalance of their brains or their genetics but it was not the persons fault its not suicide its being murdered by the world,3.0
39838,leewaters id use it on my laptop if my laptop didnt run xp  ,2.0
39839,i was just asked by a suit where i was heading to i didnt think i looked that much like a whore ,2.0
39840,in a new realtionship but still have feelings for my ex in need of advice so i was with my ex for just over a year and we broke up end of october last year i absolutely adored him and still do but we grew apart due to me becoming ill with my mental health and in the end called it quits im doing alot better in regards to my mental health and started a new realtionship with a guy in january this guy is lovely and treats me like a princess in some ways he treats me better than my ex unfortunately i cant get my ex out of my mind hes all i think about and i just wish i was with him it feels like something is missing with my new boyfriend but with my ex i felt safe and at home just looking for some words of wisdom what do i do do i keep things going with the new guy and see how it goes or do i express my feelings to my ex i dont know what to do and its eating me up inside,3.0
39841,johnnyphamazing one without a permanent scar ,2.0
39842,i wish there were a suicide pill this pain is unimaginable life yet again is showing me that humans are vile and that i am a worthless piece of shit unworthy and incapable of loving,3.0
39843,ugh cant believe i missed multi night ,2.0
39844,im alive only because i wake up every morning i cant kill myself that would be pointless my labour can bring so much to the world i also made a pact with myself ages ago that when and if i decide to kill myself when it gets too much i will find the most beautiful place in the world return to it and jump off that cliff i guess i hope that the beauty of nature will eventually humble me and deter my decision im a woman so people around me benefit from my time spent laundering cleaning and cooking as well as other care i give them i just dont enjoy any of it anymore i used to enjoy making a tasty meal now i just chuck things in the pan and dont particularly care what they turn into luckily often its tasty not only edible often i cook  meals at the same time just to get it over with i cook from fresh ingredients completely from scratch because i refuse to eat the junk that some people call food picky for a depressive i know but you have to respect yourself at least a little bit at least as much to not have to deal with squits every day i clean because mess irritates me and gnaws at my brain telling me how lazy ive been for not having done it already the thoughts get so loud i cant fucking do anything else so i do chores until theyre all done i hate myself often though i try to not think about how much sometimes i go into thoughts of grandeur because i have to draw worth from somewhere i ruminate in conversations ive had with people and beat myself up about all the stupid shit i said or didnt how i didnt console someone or how something i said might have offended ego of someone else i just dont want to be an inconvenience to anybody i often get very angry at life and circumstances and feel justified at the moment take it out on my mother or husband but afterwards i always feel ashamed what a badly mannered ill tempered shit i am easier if i wouldnt existi work extremely hard maybe not long hours but i do heavy shit i garden at home take part in building works if were carrying out any at the time im also a conservation stone mason however im not employed at the moment out of choice because i just bought  year old stone water mill that needs shit ton of work months and months of making mixes and pointing im not afraid of the work because i will make something that will last and preserve the mill for others over next few hundred years however nothing interests me ive stopped reading i listen to audiobooks only to help me fall asleep i dont draw anymore i dont play computer games i dont learn i dont explore sometimes i go for walks but only because i know itll kill  of my day and it means i can go to bed earlier to just get the day over with and the next day then starts again just because i wake up,3.0
39845,its sad how true this is me justtrying to          anxietyhave a               andgood day        depression  ••                ••  ••    ง ง     vs              ︶                 ︶    ︶,3.0
39846,eightysixxgirl  any time ,0.0
39847,practising   yikes ,2.0
39848, and  now  its   swollen  up more  around the back so im  going to the  doctors  tomorrow  xx,2.0
39849,silent air i dont know but i feel like these past months have been truly sad sometimes i wonder if i got mature or just distance towards people amp life sucks knowing you werent like this but everything changes in a blink of an eye but what also concerns me is that people try talking to me but i just push away cause i tend to get irritated and whenever they talk to me i dont listen to anything at all i just try to make something up to think i am which sucks cause they dont deserve it but it sucks i have great and kind friends which i love but i ignore them i hate talking to people not because i dont wanna talk to them but because i know everything theyll say wont matter because the next minute ill forget and i cant focus on what their saying cause everything they said is just pure silent air coming out of their mouth i wish i was different and i wish i focused on them i tried so many times but ive been loosing patience  i wish i knew how to solve it but ive been keeping distance because they dont deserve this its me not them ive been super tired of everything and sometimes i wish i didnt have any brain to think i overthink to the max and i hate it so much but probably going to delete this ,3.0
39850,dorylanenter yes i feel the same how is your weekend ,0.0
39851,realhughjackman have fun  ,0.0
39852,just the dogs for a walk amp now my hayfever is being a bitch ,2.0
39853,rodrakic of course ,0.0
39854,how to make therapy work hi everyone first time posting so bear with meive been depressed for over  years but have managed to function and have a reasonably successful life because ive been embarrassed to seek help finally after having a baby last year i felt comfortable talking to my doctor about it because it got worse combined with post partum depression we tried medication zoloft which i did ok with for about  months with other good things going on in my life this past fall things got bad again and i decided to go talk to a counselor insurance takes forever and getting a spot in counseling takes even longer i forgot my zoloft at home when i went away for the holidays and havent been taking it since then flash forward to today and ive had two appointments so fari just cant grasp how therapy is going to help me shes telling me everything i already know i know i need to exercise more i know im a good mom even when i dont feel like it i know that the whole slew of issues i battle in my head are just in my head the counselor telling me to take it one day at a time just makes me have more lazy days starting off the morning by exercising and tidying up the house exhausts me to the point i cant do anything the rest of the daydoes it just take time to get used to therapy will we eventually find something that clicks in my head and makes me start doing the things i need to do,3.0
39855,just venting feeling lower than usual today i guess ive just had a lot of time to think i feel broken between my physical and mental illnesses i feel like a disgusting person i feel like an idiot i feel pathetic and i feel worthless im not sure what im hoping to gain by posting i just needed to get it out somewhere i feel like everyone is sick and disgusted of me,3.0
39856,rt abc first lady melania trump calls kathy griffins photo very disturbing makes you wonder about the mental health o ,1.0
39857,lisablusahani  what u loling about,0.0
39858,its  am and i cant sleep i miss baby  cant wait  see him again ,2.0
39859,night my twits let there be sims tomorrow ,0.0
39860,rt  aldubdeeperwrite your sad times in sand and write your good times in stone,1.0
39861,researched a ton of suicide anyone else ever research anything and everything about suicide when feeling shit it helped and it was fascinating read all that was available and now all im left with is knowing im too much of a pussy to actually go through with anything,3.0
39862,siicockerill anything really i want to do a blog about freyja with stuff i learn along the way and stuff who knows ,0.0
39863, haha yeah lol its catchy haha  i am the next blackberry in line new product joshberry haha lets freaking chat,0.0
39864, yep i have a bump there and it hurts ,2.0
39865, really wish i could see the sarcastic font in your comment sadly ,0.0
39866, my camera is acting stupidcant upload my picture ,2.0
39867,vavroom im the heir to the over draft ,0.0
39868,my mom just let me know im an inconvenience to her my mom just woke me up yelling at me because the bills from my recent psych hospital visit in december  are still costing her a lot of money she kept saying it was supposed to be a good year now its all ruined because you dont know how to act my first visit to the hospital three years ago cost her a lot of money too i know the bills for being inpatient are really expensive but i dont know there was really no need to wake me up by pretty much telling me my depression is inconveniencing her i feel like she just wants me to get help so she wont have to deal with this mental health stuff anymore in general not because she actually wants me to get better shes always expressing frustration whenever i have my moments i just feel like a such a useless burden to her because of something i cant really control she somehow always finds a way to make me feel guilty for having problems,3.0
39869,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
39870,going home lunch with family and then to madrid  need to buy few things ,0.0
39871,rebeccabachmann no everything about the frog is all above board ,0.0
39872,electra wow christa thats incredibly sweeeet me want one     if you get a sec check out my app for merch asst  i rule  lol,2.0
39873,mojos on  and dodge went out of business ,2.0
39874,yunggood wow that sounded to real ,2.0
39875,i want some new songs ,2.0
39876,awwwww why cant i upload a pic of me  quotthats a nice picturequot screw you twitter i want my pic to be seen,2.0
39877,starjohnson  thanks for the stubhub tip  ,0.0
39878,the house is one big mess everything is crammed in my bedroom while they do up the other rooms ,2.0
39879,really hates hypothyroid days ,2.0
39880,kicked out of my house while suffering withdrawal from lexapro my mother is an angry person for as long as i can remember ive done whatever i can to avoid being screamed at with very little success a lifetime of walking on eggshells has made me anxious afraid and depressed beyond measure ive been getting help and i thought i was improving then someone at work took over my job after four years of working for them carving out my own position to prove that i belonged i was replaced like i meant nothing ive been desperately applying for jobs ever since but ive only landed two interviews one of them was a scam from a creepy fucker who lured me to his house asked me if i was a virgin and removed his shirt which scared the absolute shit out of me eventually i struck gold with a local company who said theyd have a place for me in march but i received an email from them a few days ago stating that they were going to take a different direction and no longer needed my servicesthrough all of this i have been quitting lexapro in favor of welbutrin the withdrawal has been dreadful ive been experiencing vertigo mood swings crushing headaches and painful diarrhea for whatever reason my mother has decided that i should leave the nest at this vulnerable point in my life shes given me one month to move out ill have to leave behind my pets who i love like my own children ive had them for over a decade on days when i felt like i couldnt leave my bed i would do it for their sakeno one is offering rent for less than a thousand dollars a month i cant find a job my head is always swimming and im not able to digest anything that i eat and now im losing my house my only form of stability my father can only house me in his guest room for two weeks until it becomes a lease violation no matter where i go ill be forced to travel away from my therapist my psychologist the specialists who help me with my neurological disorder severe migraines and the only home ive ever knowni dont know what to do,3.0
39881,does not want to do his math final today ,2.0
39882,fringe is back today     ,0.0
39883,rickrodgers are you still sitting at desktop cafe on pasteur im sitting at napoly cafe on pham ngoc thach very close to your place ,0.0
39884,twitter wont open on my computer ,2.0
39885,nkairplay thanks ,0.0
39886,how to get out of the front door life is great and all but i feel like i dont have the energy to do anything im confused my mind is a maze i see the opportunities do to things but i dont do them i have spent the last days gaming and sleeping even though the semester has already started and there is work to do dont even feel like a person anymoremy psychologist said i have serious baggage that i need to take care of and that shes surprised i managed to get into a great college and start building a future for myself even though i had never known tranquility care respect ever am i just weakwhat is this anguish inside my chestwhy am i wasting so much time and hurting so much even though im clearly talented capable have friends that care about me am i ungrateful why do i feel everything i do is wrong all the time why cant i ever relaxhow do i summon up the courage to get out of the front door and actually do things,3.0
39887,rt womensbrainpro to all the neuroscientists out there please look at your data considering the sex and gender factor ideally stratify,1.0
39888,stephaniepratt god i really hope someone bitch slaps you on the next season of quotthe hillsquot ,0.0
39889,just finished  hours of radio writingprod class i seriously cant come to any speaking engagements now ,2.0
39890,good morning world ,0.0
39891, the fans want to hear more of khialtltlton  ,0.0
39892,back from ascot no richer unfortunately ,2.0
39893,rt korinamaiya this video gives me so much anxiety ,1.0
39894,i wish i could do something for my mom i feel so shitty my moms a single mom she works all day and comes home at  makes food and goes to sleep after a while she never sleeps enough never eats enough doesnt have an actual good friend because her job is real hard and shes severely depressed but she keeps fighting because of me and here i fucking am complaining about how tough my life is i feel like a terrible child and i dont deserve a mother like this and i dont know what to do ,3.0
39895,cant believe a banana just gave me an icky tummy ,2.0
39896,souljaboytellem i did  you looked gooood ,0.0
39897,why wont my eyelids stay open ,2.0
39898, how do you explain to a neurotypical that being happy makes you feel uncomfortable its not like i enjoy being unhappy but im most comfortable when i feel nothing,3.0
39899,watching the da vinci code for the first time im excited ,0.0
39900,mashmashka i have same problems ,2.0
39901,rt fiverights cnnyou have caused dozens of people to wind up in jail or in prisonyouve done it by creating amp implanting tds in gull,2.0
39902,im going to die a sad lonely virgin i really really am and i cant even be the cat lady bc i dont like pets my life is so fucking sad,1.0
39903,c viper street fighter iv  captain commando httpbitlybawqf    ,2.0
39904,tweeting my way home ,0.0
39905,still in this fucking town diamond city antwerpen in belgium i swear thats suck like ever  nthg to do,2.0
39906,looks like i have to miss bifnaked due to possibly having  flu    bifs my fave,2.0
39907,srop asking questions about me my anxiety is so high,1.0
39908,looks like rain today bet it buckets down as soon as i step outside front door always the way  downhill all the way from today ,2.0
39909, my heart feels heavy but empty at the same time its been six months since i started taking a masters degree all i can say is that this has been quite challenging in many ways my anxiety levels are off the roof and ive already been to the hospital twice this semester i feel like im literally selling my soul for some future that is not certain i hardly feel like i have some free will since i still live at the expense of my parents i cant get job neither pizza hut accepted me last year when i tried i just published a book which to my surprise sarcasm  turned out to be a failure ive always been a social outcast but it seems like i keep finding more reasons to distrust people around me on the streets all i see people being loud and rude making fun of each other calling names men and women referring to their mates as they are meat made toys backstabbing sugarcoating catfishing ghosting flaking stealing insulting littering mistreating animals and so on  my hatred for human kind is getting harder to handle i almost impossibly feel a meaningful connection with someone it takes a lot and long until i can consider someone a friend i have one friend here and there but they live far away and run on their own busy schedules seems like we are losing connection i have a boyfriend who i met this year  we had a class together but i dont feel like he genuinely loves me back at the least the same way like he is with me just for the sake of proving he has a girlfriend his ex is abroad and they broke up in december only two months before we started dating they were together for a year my mum says im aggressive and can be quite scary when i lose my temper i get this feeling constantly  that people are either upfront bad or act good with interests in mind and are trying to manipulate me it has happened before too many times in my family things are not great either my mother is always resentful my dad acts like he owns everything here and treats me like a child and my siblings dont make the effort to get along much neither in my hometown i have someone i can safely count on for plans outside academic scope these concerns people call dramas that i make have resulted in scars along my arm i carry with me the physical proof of all this burden like an etiquette that says bitch is clearly borderline referencing studio killers i cant wear short sleeves and even with makeup i couldnt disguise it and im almost completely if not completely sure people comment and talk shit my sanity and social status were already at stake before i got into this mess but now my expectations are down to hell i feel so humiliated im embarrassed to be seen around my block since people from here already know my face i cant help feeling more judged than supported i wish i was rich enough to start from scratch elsewhere that or falling into a deep sleep and never wake up from a beautiful dream in which my soul is not attached to this ugly bodycompletely disappointed with the lack of helpful resources here fucking sucks  series and movie recommendations are very welcome,3.0
39910,  im sooo sorry but ure too much pretty  me so    bye bye joseph   just kidiiiiiiiiiiiiin i have not b ,2.0
39911,i want my bed ,2.0
39912,was a part of an awesome photoshoot check out stacee lianna photography for your photo needs ,0.0
39913,game bitchessssss lakerssss all day whewwww ,0.0
39914, best of luck with your dialysis today  hope all goes as well as it should ,0.0
39915,jjeb a las  s ,2.0
39916,katie get twitter and follow me ,0.0
39917,so this is my story and how it has me its a little long so here is my story  i came here from canada to marry my wife and stay with her family we had a long engagement but things seemed be great and we had a lot of adventure going back and forth i wasnt completely happy staying here in the usa no but i did what i had to do to keep my wife happysnap to now we are pretty much divorced just need to sign those papers she cheated on me several times bored with her life at hand and blaming me and her sister for it she now is obsessed with dating and has been with many men since we separated she seems to have no love or care for what was openly stomping on memories and items  which i understand some people are just like that after these things i wish her the best or not  to be honest i could care less now with the amount of hurt and betrayal she has made me feel this was a  year relationship she ruined because she was bored and we had responsibilities go figureso now im in the usa alone im helping her sister raise the kids i have been around for for nearly their whole lives  but i feel like my life has fallen apart i have all the tools to do whatever i want really i have guitars and mics and microphone but nothing comes out right i tried making youtube videos but my voice just seems unhappy and i simply cannot pretend it away i released my own ep but i have no idea how to promote those things  it was fun though but a minor fascination i suppose as no one really caredbut i guess im trying to say that i feel like ive lost my identity since this i dont know who i am i dont know where to go i feel lost and out of time the stress and depression has me sick constantly i just wish life made sense anymore but it really just doesntsuicidal and depressed i feel really like there is no point in existing,3.0
39918,ive got no money no job soon no place to live and a dog i cant bear to give up how many ways am i going to screw up my life before i decide to end it i thought that i was close to finding happiness but that always manages to fall through finding work doesnt get any easier and just when i think i found a job and can turn my life around my landlord decides to rent out the house and kick me out of my room my dog is the only thing keeping me sane and i dont think i can support her anymore why does it hurt so much to live,3.0
39919,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
39920,ktothecdawg lol  i know the hoe down throw down  i master it already boo yah,0.0
39921, alittlebit good cos as i said before i didnt fancy drinking water ,2.0
39922,happy daddys day to all to bad the hubbys missing is  ,2.0
39923,i feel like a fish im in a big glass car dealership looking out to a world of people walking by having fun in the sun  and im stuck here,2.0
39924,just got back from  church feverish twitting from my cellphone ,2.0
39925,werewolfjacob hey there i missed trivia tonight ,2.0
39926, nope  it wont work at all but it will be okay i have two weeks after college ends to had it in itll be alright,2.0
39927,handcfans trying to be ha ha mostly theatre work so far bit of modelling no real tv stuff though ,2.0
39928,numbness its hard to tell if im dead or alive,3.0
39929,rt empoweringgoa those in need of counselling can contact the following numbers life suicide prevention helpline  rosh,2.0
39930,seeing pictures of danek on twitter gives me actual anxiety flashbacks from her acting class,2.0
39931,nothing like an article on why the leafs should try to grab colton to get my anxiety going,1.0
39932,rt jdott its sad when erbody swear you got hoes and you really dont 😂🤦🏽‍♂️,2.0
39933,am so tired i feel like someone put a huge cow over my headanywayi will milk this damn cow cheezy ,0.0
39934,author says mental health spending bypasses the most severely ill modesto httpstcoylnoimyhqg,2.0
39935,rt drtawfeeq الان الامن رواتبهم متدنية ثقافتهم مختلفة   المامهم الوظيفي بمهامهم واهميته معدومة تدريبهم الامني لايذكر  تذكروا ان من كان با,0.0
39936,i hate finals so much im gonna explode i hate studying and i did so bad for this last quarter ,2.0
39937,wat a day heavy rain and thunderstorms carnt we have the nice weather bk  ,2.0
39938,water heater broke no hot water till the plumber gets here ,2.0
39939,therockwell idk where to send it  pouts shrugs shoulders,2.0
39940, to  heels arent helping my toeee  it hurts,2.0
39941,happy bday to my big bro love you soo sooo much ,0.0
39942,banda goes hard af when you sad,2.0
39943,its  eastern time and yet again its rainin ah no good  im tired of rain i hope it dont rain  i got big plains amp wild dreams,2.0
39944,rt proxactears you already know what time it is 😎                                                             ⊙gt    dep,1.0
39945,mystyleaus  annoyed i am not enjoying the sunny weather in perth ,2.0
39946,is very very burnt i didnt intend to be out so long well not in direct sunlight anyhow ,2.0
39947, not so productive for me today ,2.0
39948,i cant take it anymore everyday sucks lost great job nice home and now living back with family also sharing small room with my mom and its hard as am middle aged man to do this as i had my own place that gave me privacy independace and peaceno work so far been applying but nothingsuffred from depression over  years  only to get worse now i cant take it anymore i wanna jus be away from everyone everything,3.0
39949,paolotuberant ang el salvador sad uy hahahaha,2.0
39950,i feel like watching every episode of boy meets world today if only i had them ,2.0
39951,majorc thank you ,2.0
39952,what strategies to you use to help you focus while depressed i have a lot of work i need to get done but i cant seem to make myself do it any advice you could give would be helpful,3.0
39953,no internet again ,2.0
39954,never enough it will never be enough i will go out with my friends play with my dog obsess over any piece of media study exercise but at the end of the day when im alone with my thoughts i will lay in my bed and feel the same despair and sense of hopelessness as always im tired of never being enough,3.0
39955,  quotcurry with no hurry on the balconyquot ,0.0
39956,rt yourxhitchhiker i can not stress this enoughdemi did not let me down she can never let me downshe is  human and i love her so m,1.0
39957,has no one to hang out with today ,2.0
39958,i came home because my dad wanted me to wash fruits i shouldve stayed out ,2.0
39959,thefabgiver lmao sorry ,2.0
39960,bed time good night everyone ,0.0
39961,i started to have episodes of depression or something im worried im  if it mattrrs so it started on september i had episoeds every three weeks or so and in those episodes i just dont care about anything and im sad for no reason and thinking i will not achieve anything and my lonliness is increased and i picture my future and it is just me numb and sad with no friends or people to  talk to waking up going to a work i dont need to talk to anyone and go home and do nothing in those episodes i just kinda assume i will kill myself one day so i feel guilty about anything my parents invest do for methose episodes became more and more frequant to the point of once or twice a week the wierd thing is that when i go to sleep and i wake up like nothing happenned until the next episode and i try not to fall to an episode but i dont care to much i fear that one day i will go to sleep wake up and steel be sad im not gonna tell anyone about these episodesmy question is is that a normal thing that happens to teenager or i should be worriedsorry about misspelling and stuff,3.0
39962,the hottest game of the year free online word game with ppl from all over the world  and with a cool chat httpwwwrondowordgamescom,0.0
39963,let me win  ,0.0
39964,home tired and a bit sun burnt but had a good time  pub later,0.0
39965,  yeyyy ur proud of me lmao more than my parents,0.0
39966,ndmiko i am  to  ,0.0
39967,rt kashanacauley economic anxiety strikes yet again ,2.0
39968,nnnicky  nnnicky i�ll be seventeen in about  weeks cool  i didn�t want to seem nosey lol but i ,0.0
39969,omfg the freaking la times office is an  minute walk from my office i shoulda gone there on my lunch break amp stalked kradammm fml ,2.0
39970,weekend almost over   i dont want to go home,2.0
39971,oh no the vogue australia forums are down ,2.0
39972,just back from quotupquot in  again amazing ,0.0
39973,luckily im on meds but feeling numb he said he doesnt love me he said maybe he never did he said he was disgusted by me  years and im lost,3.0
39974,premydaremy  lol ikr sad,2.0
39975,graduating college in a few months and im completely dreading it title basically sums it up i struggled with depression when i was growing up but ive really gotten it under control since ive been in college im graduating in a few months and i feel like i should be excited but im not its not that i necessarily want to stay here and keep doing this i feel like im ready to move on with life but at the same time i dont want to leave all of my friends and move further away from my parents i think one of the biggest reasons why the past few years have been so great is my friend group i have a huge group of amazing friends and theres always something to do ive realized that i really dont do well alone i live alone and really all the alone time ive realized i need is a little while before bed and then getting ready in the morning beyond that home is barely two hours away so ive been able to go home for the weekend whenever ive felt like i needed a break from everything but ill have to move further away from home to get the type of job i want im really afraid of how alone im going to be in a few months and its starting to spiral a few months ago i was really excited to graduate get a job and see whats next reality hit me a week or so ago when i started interviewing at placesive had great interviews at companies id love to work for and im almost certain ill get at least one job offer from one of my top choices im gonna make great money for my age and i really like what im going to be doing i know i should be really excited about all this instead all i can think about is how hard the transition is going to be from friends parties movie nights and just general spontaneity to working in an office  hours a week with colleagues doing the same thing day in and day out and then theres the transition to an entirely new city thats going to be even worse all of my friends are excited and cant wait to start the rest of their livesall i need to do is finish my graduation project and ill be set but its taking everything i have to get out of bed in the mornings and get to work every single day im so tempted to stay in bed sleep and lay around feeling completely apathetic to everything i just dont know what to do i know that in reality my two options are either do what i need to do to finish school graduate move and begin the next step of my life or to give up and i cant just give up and let this take over my life again i have absolutely no motivation to do anything not school not doing stiff with friends not even texting people back i dont know how i can do this i dont want to leave my friends and my routine and my family and completely start over honestly all i can think about is how badly i wish i could go back to being  and relive it all it hasnt been all rainbows and butterflies and most of it was actually a really rough until i figured out how to manage everything around senior year of hsfreshman year of college so i have no idea why i want to go back relive it more than anything else in the world i just keep thinking about how nice it would be to wake up and be in  grade and do it all again the past  years have been equally shitty and incredible im at a loss for what to do none of the ways ive learned to manage this are working i havent felt like this in a long time and its terrible ,3.0
39976,so close but so far away wish i could talk to him ,2.0
39977,ok based on the tweets being sent out by glennbeck i am starting to think that its not really him ,2.0
39978,my meds work but give me the shakes im on imipramine and a low dose of zoloft for panic atack anxiety and depression in order of importance imipramine has done for wonders for me in terms of mental health but the drawback is that it gives me tremmors i also fatigue in seconds doing anything arduous i take pride in being able to do manual labor and this really gets in the way i could always power through anything like a best but now i feel so fragile i love what imipramine has for for me but i hate the side effects has anyone had a similar experience did you find something that works but doesnt impede physical activity note i started all imipramine and have been working zoft in to try to reduce tremmors but still have therapeutic effects but im really worried about the sexual side effects of zoloft and the shakes have improved but not enough ,3.0
39979,bowsek nooope no notes so gay it was really importanto wellyea she is so pretty  her face is like pretty and not slutty ,0.0
39980,follow me on follow friday ,0.0
39981,brainstorming for my brandswork is always on my mind  check out the new items up  httpshopkaraackermancom,2.0
39982,well going out for a while will be come back after lunch ,0.0
39983,really really feeling unwell  quotdagdigdugquot thats sound of my heart,2.0
39984,brentbolthouse great photo and very cute puppy as well ,0.0
39985,jechtom foreach by byl ide�ln� ,0.0
39986,retroslimes saybohmc pikaclicks jasknightwing some people find it hard to believe as well because of how jovial httpstcoyhivbkcpah,1.0
39987,red sox game with lyssavirus ,0.0
39988,waiting at orlando airportan hour til we board and the kid is already a nightmare  great flashbacks from our flight last year ,2.0
39989,brewskiebutt yep it is ,0.0
39990,bella has squits again   weather however is lovely ,0.0
39991,does anyone recognise this by themselves i feel guilty for being depressed and i often doubt if im depressed and not just dramatising things and take bad things that happen to seriously i do feel unhappy but people expect me to live on like a normal person ive been tested two times this year on depression and ive been waiting for psychological help for a long time despiting the fact im not motivated for itanyway my main question is if more people whove been already told by a doctor or anything that they have depression keep doubting their depression and therefore feel guilty for not trying hard enough to feel happier or do more stuff,3.0
39992,kids are home but they are out of food  in denver co ,2.0
39993,argh have ran out of itunes money and i really want to buy a song ,2.0
39994,vipvirtualsols got a lot worse in recent times ,2.0
39995,monkeyfudge thats totally going on the invites lol thanks for the giggle ,0.0
39996,mariamatakovich i am well thanks how are you enjoy the lake today ,0.0
39997,feeling sad in the morning its just a constant feeling and it doesnt seem to go away ,3.0
39998,i know i have some level of anxiety some triggers are easier than others but i can have crippling anxiety when it comes to my art,1.0
39999,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
40000,karlbunyan their income targets ,0.0
40001,i like buying things for him  cant wait to give them to him,0.0
40002,bout to continue with my sisters keepergreat book so far   read it haha,0.0
40003,aynber you dont like my coke iccee comment ,2.0
40004,just came back from schooli had only  lessons  ,0.0
40005, ah thank you perhaps we can talk more often now  btw had a look for the instyle scans he doesn�t have it anymore ,0.0
40006,i hate this day ,2.0
40007,kennykenai you wish i could but alas my poor  iphone cannay send le mms ,2.0
40008,ravenme wish i could be there perhaps the next one  have fun,0.0
40009,im standing  ft from jon heder  sweet target lounge ftw ,0.0
40010,toxicatingriot sayang we could meet sana ,2.0
40011,memes are good for your mental health,0.0
40012,ap tour was beeaassttt  ,0.0
40013,help nothing matters to me anymore and i hate myself for it i dont care about my life my sons or my girlfriend of  years and i hate myself for it i should care and i used to but i dont and nothing i do makes me feel any less empty its like being stuck in my own personal hell,3.0
40014,love u💜be strong ami are always by your side😢dont be sad it harms your health so much😥i can understand you ,1.0
40015,my genesis was august  ,0.0
40016,i lost everyone even myself i dont want to exist i dont know what to do i dont understand why i feel this way im sorry please help me,3.0
40017,pinkpandafabric lol not a chance not anyone i know anyway ,0.0
40018,wickdweirdwitch nah i have a legit one but no updates around i hate the indian itunes ,2.0
40019,how do those of you with depression and jobs get through the day im struggling my relationship with my gf is very complicated i just started a new job my hairline is receding im getting old im worried about money all this is going on in my head while im at work and its too fucking much how do some if you cope ,3.0
40020,bennycrime its all fucked the greens were the last hope but their science policy is ridiculous ,2.0
40021,this meeting is going to be brutal ,2.0
40022,coscomputing thanks for your support it nice to think there are some generous twits out there ,0.0
40023,alone vent i have this horrible relationship with being alone i hate it yet i hate people i want to be out but i dont want to move i dont want to get ready i dont want to talk to people i want to be successful i dont want to get stuck in the industry im in now yet i dont want to do school work and i have no skills i can hardly get out of bed unless its dire even if its something that sounds fun and i want to do it i dont takes too much energy and im wasting my life awayim exausted and conflicted and it just keeps getting worse and i have no onemy boyfriend who has been my bestfriend for the last  years has initiated a breakup we live together though and our lease isnt up until august i moved  miles away from my only home and family to be with him we only made it two more years i cant go back home theres nothing good for me there i cant afford my own place out here and i dont know anyonei cancelled my therapy appointment for this upcoming week because i have two big tests but here i am the middle of the day still not moving or doing anything on my couchim just venting it helps me when people show how theyre feeling and i recognize that its similar to how i feel i dont feel so alone or like its impossible to get through so i hope if anyone reads this that they dont feel alone either and maybe well get through this shitty feeling together maybe its normal,3.0
40024,remember we was at rashad bbq last summer amp i was the only parent there   illmaticp auchboogie,2.0
40025,im reading breaking dawnagainnow ,0.0
40026, and im not even half way done  i dont even know if im gunna finish on timee,2.0
40027,i have this feeling at the pit of my stomach telling me to be sad but i legitmhsbe nothing to be sad about,2.0
40028,doing some homework ,2.0
40029,rt zachxr i hate having anxiety so much not being able to enjoy myself or meet new people really fucks w my head,1.0
40030,good moringgoing to eatshowerand out of hererainy crappy daybut im alivethats whats great ,0.0
40031,rt  me coming back to school where my traumas anxiety and depression were made ,1.0
40032,i stayed up too late didnt get the design done like i wanted to ,2.0
40033,rt pressure depression never arrives aloneit brings along its friends despair selfinjury and suicidedepression is the invisible pl,1.0
40034,klairey  claire is a fag and so is raven  man there asses  dum de dum,0.0
40035,how do you cope with always being second choice or temporary to other people i feel like i am always the temporary person in a relationship or friendship until the right person comes along  eg my relationships will fade out and the next person my previous so is with will be the one  the one that marry and make a life with  similarly in friendships i think i have made a close friend and then a  person comes along and i am always the  choice or  wheel from then on  i know this sounds a bit immature but i honestly feel like i am a placeholder for people until they meet someone better  ,3.0
40036,back from vacation   miles or so  back to work tomorrow ,2.0
40037, no its just another  casualty  not sure if its a true reflection of the magazine industry as a whole,2.0
40038,annawhy imma bout to be out   gotta get some zzzzzz,2.0
40039,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
40040,just felt one tear roll down my cheek i havent cried in about  months because of depression i havent felt anything in probably about that long i feel like this might mean that im about to laugh for the first time in a while too,3.0
40041,bad finance company,2.0
40042,is watching  sunday the boys are doing great ,0.0
40043,bananasmel uh oh so you had to dodge em then ,2.0
40044,i want to be held and protected hey there the title says it all im a teenage girl whos doing miserably in school i can barely get out of bed in the morning and i have nobody to vent to im the therapist and support system for the majority of my loved ones what a first world problem i know i cant remember the last time i was asked how i feel but if someone did ask id say i want to be held i dont want to feel emotionally bankrupt the way i do i dont want to be the protector i want to be fragile and loved im not sure why im sharing this maybe someone else will relate,3.0
40045,rt  lyzetteturvey  thats a personal note though if society keeps telling men theyre shit then obviously theyre g,2.0
40046,how to repair bb trackball mine cant scrolled down  ,2.0
40047,jpblogger nothing like quotrocknrollaquot which is another good film with rock in the title ,0.0
40048,really hopes that i dont have to get tested for swine flu ,2.0
40049,sardoc really  i wish youd come back we could go to marios haha do you know when youll be coming to visit if anytime soon,2.0
40050,mnellykid i realllluyyyy wish i had been there so i coulda gotten my pic taken with my two favorite gays ,2.0
40051,quoton your face or in your casequot i need to stop forgetting my glasses at home ,2.0
40052,i want my white iphone ,2.0
40053, no  i saw it i havent recovered yet,2.0
40054,work have just banned spotifywhat a load of shit ,2.0
40055,schofe no such thing as a dull tweet on a saturday night in ,0.0
40056,daniiheartslily lol like your statusits cause of all this shit on wikianswer and the poem thing  but suuure ure loved by all ur friends,2.0
40057,miszsarahz fayetan hehehe how was shopping girls had fun  what you guys bought,0.0
40058,i just left my kids in a day care ,2.0
40059,my house has become a bar i want to go to bed ,2.0
40060,new year no me i just learned to tie a noose in  seconds what have you done this year,3.0
40061,proud to be part of the unc class of  and proud of the clef hangers for sounding so baller  ,0.0
40062,is doing the cleaning ,2.0
40063,its not that i think im better them theyre just not on my level  bein me ,0.0
40064,amandaholden the final was amazing im glad diversty won ,0.0
40065,slept whole day still feeling sleepy ,2.0
40066,nicolerichie  looool that is so cute ,0.0
40067,xcraziichiicax   dude you needa rip it right when its in his curls ,0.0
40068,superficiality something that has always contributed to my depression is superficiality its everywhere but i think the superficiality of my family hits me the mostmy family is filled with some of the most external validation hungry shallow people ive ever met growing up my mom always told me i had such terrible skills she thought i was autistic i could read faces well and i care about people but from a young age i have disliked social norms i have a strangely vivid memory of being in second grade and pulling out the braids in my hair and getting dirt all over myself because some other kid was talking about how important the appearance of hair was i was trying to make a point that it didnt matter i got in troublemy family is all about gender roles and is particularly obsessed with women being beautiful and men being rich my sister dedicated her life to being the perfect woman she spends obscene amounts of money on clothes and hair and has been dieting since she was  she never swore smoked or drank because its unladylike she saved her virginity as its all she believes her worth comes down to for a wealthy doctor she found at the age of  hes a complete asshole but thats what she thinks men are supposed to be like she told me that women shouldnt have opinions and should take their husbands opinions its like victorian england over there i wasnt a tomboy so much as a nerd im in my last year of college while my sister pursued a feminine yet classy degree and dropped out her second year i got a full ride scholarship in a field i actually care aboutmy parents still let me in their house and all on thanksgiving but they do so visibly reluctantly i cant fake enthusiasm when my dad shows off his ridiculous vintage cars or any of his other trophies he lives for its all so fucking inhuman other people i have found possess these characteristics to varying degrees and an unfortunate amount are on the superficial side being around it has made me fluent in it i can usually pose as a person that society would approve of quite convincingly and gain peoples approval temporarily but its so depressing its so dehumanizing when i spend dates smiling and nodding and the guy falls for me only for him to be repulsed when i reveal that i actually have opinions friends are similar ive had a few good ones but not many people stick by you when youre successful and run when youre down or sad or weird people wont admit it but they judge you based on your clothes your money its all so soulless,3.0
40069,dylansfuentes sad 💔,1.0
40070,im at the end of my rope these feelings of depression are final at a fever pitch i just want to crawl into a hole and die i cant be nice to anyone around me while im this stressed and im just a seething rage bomb waiting to go off  my family doesnt understand my wife deals with the brunt of it and i feel horrible for putting it on her  i should be happy right now we have our first baby on the way but all i can think about is how bad im gonna fuck it up like my parents did with me i just dont know what to do im trying to find a new therapist and i have an appointment next week with my physician to talk about medication but i feel like every day im getting one step closer to destroying everything around me because i cant get this monster off my back,3.0
40071,is gonna go watch mtv music awards ,0.0
40072,lovelyxchica commere ,2.0
40073,therealnihal you know its summer when im cooped up inside revising when its gorgeous outside ,2.0
40074,just found out that my husbands grandma fell down the stairs amp is at the hospital with several broken bonespraying hard ,2.0
40075,no ask erin live today tweeps im sick and doing quiet projects from bed  sometimes i wish i could take a quotsick dayquot but clients await,2.0
40076,reynos nuffin much jus chillin on a fridaybored ,2.0
40077,smitchelluk    i know all the lyrics to this song little t and one track mike  shaniqua ,0.0
40078,walkercaine indeed pure of heart did stop to gaze as she dare not look out the window  tower  but alas sir lancelot distracted her ,0.0
40079,is masturbation related to depression im feeling a little bit depressed lately a few months mostly when im at home and im masturbating a lot more since im feeling this way which led me to this question,3.0
40080,thinks mymindisblank should go down so that she can answer my call ,2.0
40081,rt alayalm sad that some people still want to drown in debt again ,0.0
40082,probs will never get over that aye ,0.0
40083,im falling apart ive been depressed for a really long time now and it is not getting any better i take medication but i dont feel like it is enough my parents basically called my depression all bullshit tonight and its sending me over the edge ive been cutting myself all night and i just hate everything i need help ,3.0
40084,so much stuff to do today and its my one day off this week ,2.0
40085,confused by myself i know i am depressed ive been on meds for a long time and ive thought to get off of them but i havent i am a recovering heroin addict and i have  years clean my life is really nice and i am grateful for my so and my little dog but i cant shake the feeling that i am just so lazy and apathetic and doing normal things like getting dressed and going to work is a huge struggle i just feel so blah and unmotivated always the main thing that keeps me going is shame i dont want my man to come home from work and see me still laying down not having gone out with my friends not having showered and put on makeup he never shames me this is something i do to myself but i dont want people to worry about me or ask when the last time i went to a meeting was i see everyone else going out with friends and being super involved in their recovery community and i just prefer to be at home i drag myself out to walk the dog because i love her so much and i go to work because i want to show up for these people i care about i feel like im whining and wallowing in self pity i dont feel sorry for myself i have a lucky life and i have people that love me and im okay i really am i just crave to have the energy and motivation that i see other people have i feel like talking about it and putting these thoughts out in the community may be helpful thats all maybe yall can relate or have some advice ,3.0
40086,rt emoblackthot listening to sad songs when youre already sad gtgtgtgtgtltltltltltltltlt,2.0
40087,just got back from hospital because i had an hour long nosebleed ,2.0
40088,rt officialchunter  allnatural ways to dialdown your anxiety before an audition  actinglife httpstcorz,2.0
40089,you know how cats get stuff in their eyes well chubbs has somethin in his and he i try to get it out he bites me ,2.0
40090,my anxiety has been so shitty the past few days i cant even get in a call with my best friend of  fucking years like why,0.0
40091,ladyerlynne posted on mtp ,0.0
40092,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
40093, no rain here for a change  our grounds are flooded though still  its rained almost every day for the past month ,2.0
40094,wiltingsoul dont think of it as slobber think of it as lubrication ,0.0
40095,aplusk fun spanish learning stuff  kids  storybookseach  sets of  custom cd  songshttpwwwenespanolcom ,0.0
40096,spanish is crap without jonathan  xx,2.0
40097,so like so like what do u do when u need a root canal v badly but cant afford it at all and have no financial help from family amp the pain is becoming unbearable,3.0
40098, sounds like a good way to spend a monday i hate mondays  x,0.0
40099,friends check out and follow my pugs twitter akillapug ,0.0
40100,going to tim hortons what a weather ,0.0
40101,ugh  still confuse about my course in college please give me some advice ,2.0
40102, i have a maniquine that i dress weekly and somehow that is good for my mental health not sure whyy currently in yellow dress,0.0
40103,diannemca lol some blocking required ,0.0
40104,yikes summer school  i will talk to ya all in  weeks  ,0.0
40105,colorblindfish thanks for helping make this a summer to remember see you in st louis ,0.0
40106,wondering if i was a bad partner a bit over a year ago i was broken up with and blocked on social media from someone i was in a serious relationship with it put me in a worse place mentally than i already was im now much better and happily married but it still somehow keeps me up at night im now wondering if it was because i was manipulative or made it seem like my partner wasnt good enough ill never know now i hope that they see this someday and will know that im sorry for what i did to them,3.0
40107,going to school and enjoying my last day as a  year old  but  too,0.0
40108,emilykate  you seem to be a night owl aswell ,0.0
40109,man oh mani really dont know what to do with myself since im not in class i have free will i dont like it ,2.0
40110,feels like i have to watch twilight again but i dont have time got a concert with my choir soon ,0.0
40111,last day to actually relax and play video games before florida tomorrow gross ,2.0
40112,uhohloo has blocked up so it drains slowly hope it just fixes itself do not want to have to sort out a plumber tomorrow ,2.0
40113,sorry ive been a bit quiet lately havent been feeling myself ,2.0
40114,ok people my macbook is now dry were putting it back together to see what happens im not optimistic at all ,2.0
40115,hellookitty lol i try to stay up to date as much as possible ,0.0
40116,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
40117,some people saying on the net that uk release of os  will now be   dammit will be in work ,2.0
40118,russelltanner yeah i think youre right ,0.0
40119,rt  this is so sad alexa play when you look me in the eyes ,2.0
40120,thedebbyryan your scream got me scared ,2.0
40121,just got up really want to go back to sleep bit have to get up and go to the high school ,2.0
40122,you know how hard it is to find someone anyone that understands portuguese in thaute ,0.0
40123,justinbonomo pulling for you  glad to see your doing  so well  ,0.0
40124,finally came around to shorten my twitter username from pascalfinette to pfinette if you follow me  no need to change anything ,0.0
40125, be there in ten  its trying to be nice here bet it rains though gah i need a holiday,0.0
40126,hezmcfly yes right  they never get boring ,0.0
40127,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
40128,is still tired of the rain ,2.0
40129,i feel like im on the edge of catastrophe i can hardly motivate myself to do anything at this point i call off of work pretty regularly do the bare minimum for school etc i hate my job and situation in life right now and the only way to get out is to work really hard and my motivation is just drained ive been working hard since  when i had to be on my own i feel like im running out of gas here im lost and dont know what to do anymore,3.0
40130,burnout ive been trying to do work for this entire week same story every day come home sit down to do work nothing gets done i am completely burnt out every morning i wake up and the only thing i want in the day is to go back to bed im so tired that ive put everything on delay im at a complete standstill and if i dont get out of it this weekend im pretty well screwed,3.0
40131, mustve suffered head damage or something when he got his ass whooped as a french soldier lol im being really mean now ,2.0
40132,in agony been to the doctors as have big lump on inner thy can barely walk doc doesnt know what it is but has given me lots of meds ,2.0
40133,welshmermaid heylo ,0.0
40134,deshair i know ,2.0
40135,rt jxzbeth weird how raisins are just sad grapes,1.0
40136,aparajuli hahaha no no no that name is out of bounds glad you had a good day  lol i havent connected  show starts tomlol,0.0
40137,khkremer im sure its not the hosting co fault i myself messed up  somewhere along the process it will all work out perfectly ,0.0
40138,lifes good ,0.0
40139,i need to vent tws my mental health is slowly going to shit im considering suicide more and more and its not that im suicidal i just dont wanna exist as me i wanna be someone else i wanna be somewhere else i wanna be born as someone who can do the things i wanna doi broke my tooth and we cant afford to go to the dentist since we went from middle class to almost at poverty in the timespan of a year because her boyfriend decided to ruin our lives and we cant get money from assist because theyve given us so much lately that were gonna hit a limitand it sucks cos all this is happening when im a good person i donate to charity and give to homeless people even though i cant really fucking afford it im constantly being a good person and this is how the universe pays me back and its so exhausting and i just dont wanna live in it anymore and dont know what to do or how to explain this stuff to my therapists and i cant tell my friends without feeling like a problem but i dont wanna kill myself because ill be leaving my girlfriend all alone,3.0
40140,james gunn polls his followers on the top superheroes they would want to screw  harley quinn only    ,2.0
40141,i woke up so late today probably because im having some horrible cramps right now ,2.0
40142,trendysd what happened to the other store in the corner of mitsuwa  jk do you have any broadway mirrors i want a new one,2.0
40143,today should be a good lazy day although i have a deep underlying sensation that ill wanna workout later dance  amp then family mtg ,2.0
40144,exams finished but i got more than  for oral bioavailability of drug  that sounds very wrong  ,2.0
40145,shaundiviney its not working for me either ,2.0
40146,work is pretty nice ,0.0
40147,iran election i didnt even know there was a contrey with that name  thats really sad  so why are they having an election no offenc,2.0
40148,messing w myspace twitter and yahoo messenger hanging w beka  about to go to dairy queen,0.0
40149,ritarams hey say me something  haha now that you in love love love  forget about me haha luv ya and im so happy because u happy,2.0
40150,worried about max ,2.0
40151,studio concert back home a little tired stupid boot  listening to music excited for the game on saturdayi still love nuggs tho,2.0
40152,feliciaday in that case my twitterpornnames would be linda grootstalselaan which would be odd considering im a guy ,0.0
40153,rip keegan  be aware of your actions and words towards ppl you never know how it will impact them,2.0
40154,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
40155,stevehelstrip ooooh a tatw gm today what a treat youre on fire atm go spanky go ,0.0
40156,started taking prozac anything i should know or prepare for just like the title says i started prozac today after finally getting help for some unresolved childhood issues any tips ,3.0
40157,belongingeelong she sure does  infact unless you look close you wouldnt know she was missing a front leg,0.0
40158,today is last exam wahooooooo ,0.0
40159,stepheniemeyer  congrats to you steph for reachg your dream please continue to bring good reads to the world ,0.0
40160,work  i dont wanna go  excited fir sunday though,2.0
40161,got a bad back ache and feeling sick ,2.0
40162,loa beaded spiders  that sounds scary to me ,2.0
40163,come on maltesers give shaspi and i a suggestion for a relaxed drink or  on a sat nite large but not loud venue pls ,0.0
40164,kimbacon word is  very very brutal crackdown ,2.0
40165,oh no i hope im not getting my stepdads sickness ,2.0
40166,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
40167,l ice grande halfsweet french vanilla soy milk from starbucks means summaas coming  ,0.0
40168,gahmy computer is too crap for sims  ,2.0
40169,just biffed it hard on the fixee  must stop daydreaming about the boy,2.0
40170,walkinwisdom whats up m young  be cool bro and nice work on the videos ,0.0
40171,doesnt look like you can post from the iphone version of mactalk yet though   ,2.0
40172,i still cant believe we went to fucking san francisco i was squealing like a baby as we were entering the golden gate bridge   it,0.0
40173,senorleroy hola amigo happy tgif thx also  d followfriday nomination lol u r  kind ,0.0
40174,hp printer software is the bane of my existence ,2.0
40175,claudrod haha marathon or jog lang ,0.0
40176,stupid cat just threw up something ,2.0
40177,ashleytisdale hahaa ofcouse  your ahmazing ,0.0
40178,jonasliu hey my fd told me kay us gonna have a concert with sandy do u know if its true ,0.0
40179,a day of church lunch beachin it up fambam time workk an graduation after partayy what a good day ,0.0
40180,my depression is weird im not even certain im depressed  i just really hate myself  and think id do everyone a favor by self assassinating and when i want to do that  my mind isnt sad  i usually think like fuck this im out  am i really depressed or just dramatic,3.0
40181,just had dinner  it was yummy  umm yeah alright day eh,0.0
40182,fawaz how are you ,0.0
40183,sammen lol i may go to bed early but then i wake up in the middle of the night like this ugh ,2.0
40184,listening to the new blue october album im not disappointed so far ,0.0
40185,at kiss concert ,0.0
40186,shakeene it managed to hit  ,0.0
40187,i feel like i would be better off if i had some goals to strive for but i really cant think more than like a day or two in advance for reference im  just finishing my  year of college and about i graduate all these people i know friends relatives classmates with lofty goals theyre going to be a great doctor famous singer professional football player despite being a bench warmer etc yet i dont have any plans i have no goals i was going to be a history teacher i hated student teaching i had no clue what i wanted to do with my life when i applied for college i like school and i like history and in high school my history teacher told me i would be a good history teacher so that is what i did i hated it and i sucked at iti picked up a business minor because i needed to do another year for my language requirement anyway and i felt it would look good on a resume i hate business and want nothing to go with it i have no real plans i dont want to just be some office worker for the next  years until i retire but i have no clue what i want in life i have no goals i have no plans i just know i want to stop working at walmart i may not have goals but i sure as hell have spite and resentment i would probably be smiles for weeks if my store just poofed out of existence but spite isnt the same thing as true happinessi live my life a few hours at a time mostly i tell myself ill do my legal environment of business class work in  hours at  ill set an alert then bang it out ill buy myself a gas station burrito because i know ill appreciate it tomorrow afternoon but that feels about as far as my planning goes these days i exercise ill go on a  mile walk every dayevery few days not because i want to lose weight which i do but because i enjoy it it isnt part of some goal it is something i enjoy so i do it it feels like i just do things because i wait just a bit of dopamine out of them finish work drink play games go on walks hang out with people eat food it isnt because it is some means to an end i just had i thought of hey it might be fun if i do this so i do iti want other people succeed ill help other people do it ill support people trying to do it politically speaking most of my ideology is based around helping people but idk what i want or need,3.0
40188,hello tweeps i watched an hour of quotthat  showquot this morning followed by  hours of reading quotbook of the unexplainedquot on the porch ,0.0
40189,smuttysteff ill take it up to a pointthen im done its a pretty hard and fast point and theres no backing up from it its rare ,0.0
40190,  hi mr charley demetri bewley ,0.0
40191,christinafaith word its all good either way glad yall accomplished your mission of surprisal yes new word there ,0.0
40192, off your next purchase  baskin robins  whatever happened to quot get a free icecream every fridayquot or sumthin ,2.0
40193,im so tired and i dont have any reason to livelike literallyin here was speech about how im miserable and how shitty my job isim already laying down and it feels like im about to fallso strangeanyone ,3.0
40194,i saw amazing heeels but they were too big ,2.0
40195,kenitasu d really youre lucky im from ireland  i really want jonas though ,2.0
40196,cathrinefeehely hello  good morning,0.0
40197,maysiefurs   hopefully tomorrow will be better honey,2.0
40198,i dont want to work on this any more i want to do other parts of my site but someone is not online again so i cant ,2.0
40199,has anyone tried curcumin and saffron supplements for depression i was reading a few studies about them and i was interested in trying it out does anyone find it to be helpful for them which company should i try what were your experience when you took them,3.0
40200,went shoe shopping to cheer up weekend that sucked of course nobody has what i want ,2.0
40201,stephiejaine aww yep i will  looks a sunny day out there whats wrong ,2.0
40202,lonely is a painful state of mind issues posting questions is will this work,3.0
40203,im sad im no longer portias intern ,2.0
40204,going to lunch with the gangofficially a senior ,0.0
40205,home a very happy girlie ,0.0
40206,should have written my essay instead of this but i like complaining more than homework ive been out of high school for almost  years now and im still not ready for collegenearing the end of the year always sends me into a downward spiral its  am and i spent all evening studying this algebra chapter i have a test on tomorrow but its like reading fucking alien hieroglyphs i also have a paper draft to finish for tomorrow and ive only gotten about  of a page in and id be having a panic attack if i wasnt so apathetic and detached from reality right now basically a repeat of the end of every school semester since  grade im living on campus but all i do everyday is go to class go back to my room and sleep get food and then sleep some more im only taking  classes but i feel overwhelmed ive been enjoying my drawing class at least but depression and selfhatred have been fucking that up as well havent really made friends anyone even though ive made some acquaintances that have been really nice to me im just too tired socially unadjusted and generally just not very fun to be friends with so i havent really tried anything i have my old online friends that i still talk to but havent really hung out with any of them because they all have jobs and school and relationships keeping them all busy and meanwhile i cant drive cant work and just spend every hour outside of class doing absolutely nothingi want to give up on college but ive already wasted so much of my familys money with school and medical bills for my neverending brain misery i have life so good compared to so many other people in my life and this world and yet all i do is complain to myself and wallow in misery i wish i could give my life to someone who deserves it and so that i can just stop existinganyhoo this is a jumbled mess because ive kept all of this inside for months and now its all just spewing out this is only a single chunk of my worries but perhaps ill actually continue writing down my problems and casting them out to the internet sea or just keep them to myself ps im ugly,3.0
40207,he invited me to his church too its appreciatedbutjesus is my hommie ,0.0
40208,end game funny how quickly the noose surrounds your neck that the world just starts to feel better,3.0
40209,ajturner gonna visit librarybook store with digital camera to build my quotlibraryquot ,0.0
40210,i was not talked into renting the hannah montana game but did have to rent the madagascar  game  no trophies  though ,2.0
40211,feeling alone im feeling so alone and like i dont belong anywhere its like everyone is moving around me and i just cant seem to catch up i cant understand why people dont like me im nice im a great friend when given the chance i love the people in my life so deeply it hurts im not boring people just dont want anything to do with me it hurts im so tired of hurting i think about suicide but thats not what i want i just want to belong ,3.0
40212, for sum reason it doesnt allow you to sign the petition ,2.0
40213,hindi sad songs mobile appoldhindisongsfreedownloadofflinehindisadsongs ,2.0
40214,can i just have  friends to message every day im  and really lonely have no one to talk to and i know this wont solve the problem but at least it can help a little i wont really rely on it as a problem fixer but just so i can at least talk to people i wanna be able to call them if needed facetime or find a way to facetime with me i have a samsung devicebut i just was wondering if anyone would want to be my venting buddies im  if that matters i dont care who it is just someonethe first  to pm their phone numbers i will make a group chat for us and if thats too personal i understand we can do snapchat not instagram for reasonsima go to sleep rn but ill make it in the morning,3.0
40215,resilientmichae did you steal that from me  that is one of my favourite quotations ,0.0
40216,jessicaveronica jess babe dont tell me that those sluts got to u i need to know your ok babe  i wanna hug you so badlysighs ,2.0
40217,thisisrobthomas im in intern at xlo yay ,0.0
40218,nancy says quotno writing on the catquot  awww  ,2.0
40219,thewebguyuk wow  tonight should be good as well,0.0
40220,httpstcoyvybvrbbjr httpstcoyvybvrbbjr,1.0
40221,wahey internet is finally working properly again   only taken  days ,0.0
40222,brettmcguire happy birthday ya pak some say life begins at  welcome to the life wish you had a great one ,0.0
40223,csiprintchick  im sad i cant change my background   it never chngs,2.0
40224,so it turns out my bank card doesnt work here this is working out to be a very cheap holiday  faith no more in two hours woot,0.0
40225,anyone take wellbutrin how has it effected you ive been feeling reallyoff lately i started taking wellbutrin  about two weeks ago on the  of march my doctor increased my dosage to  since then ive been super tired and have been sleeping until  when im awake its incredibly hard to function i have no appetite and feel like a zombie my friends wanted me to have a picnic with them and i cancelled because im pretty sure i wouldve just stared at the grass the whole timehas anyone else had similar side effects with this did it end up working for you,3.0
40226,this has been a rather unproductive weekend writingwise and too excited about ninja tonight to get anything done in  mins ,2.0
40227,i miss you im sorry ,2.0
40228,had a blast visiting tilly on the sunny coast  i miss the coast  stoked for public hol tomorrow sleep in woop,2.0
40229,this is so sad i want to hug him,0.0
40230,this has been a strange nite  i fell asleep while waiting on ciara to perform on jimmy kimmel how was she now this scary thunder,2.0
40231,bad coughing ,2.0
40232,rikycoh did u just tweet mizdayenet feel better sending you twishes ,0.0
40233,working today didnt get up for my walk today  now im cranky and tired,2.0
40234,hefaroni oh man that sux boo ,2.0
40235,i dont know how to deal with this i´ve been struggling recently again with my depressionsit hit me very hard during the last month my results in school are lacking behind i messed up with a girl and issues with my father resurfaced this all pushed me back in my dark hole which i thought i left behind years ago escaping seems impossible and every day feels more and more pointless this entire depression feels like a parasite that is stuck with me and my body and no matter what i do there is no way getting rid of it i can´t value myself and i´m selfcritical to the extent that it could almost be selfhatred every time i get into a situation that could be good for me i avoid it persons that could be good for me i push them actively away until they dont want to be with me anymore the cold realization that i missed an opportunity or chance comes unfortunately always too late the feeling of not going anywhere in my life increased drastically over the last month especially the failed relationship with this girl devastated me it was the first time in a long time that i tried letting someone into my life with which i have big problems since my dad left years ago this topic of my dad is my big trauma in life and im so scared of turning out like him this hurts me so much because i see her every day reminding me of my failure to keep something good around things just feel pointless and meaningless at the time i´m unable to do things and isolation became a bigger part of my life during these last weeks the only ways out at the moment are getting drunk and doing excessive amounts of sport for the first time in years this feeling of not wanting to continue with all this,3.0
40236,rt keelo i know the process is so much stress but its the progress that feels the best,1.0
40237,many people are going through what your going through that doesnt help that just makes me feel unimportant so for context im a ugly gay autistic kid with a enlarged jaw and buck teeth i look fucking dumb and there is not many things that keep my happy it used to be rubix cubes and gaming but i gave up on thosereasons unimportant one thing that keeps me happy is my cat without him i would have nothing before people comment people are going through what im going through that doesnt help that basically saying just feel worse cus your not special and unimportant i dont feel up to the earth anymore my crush recently told me he is homophobic well not directly but implied it and if you werent paying attention what a surprise im gay and he is a boy so am i i have no shot anymore with anyone chances are no one will even care if i commit suicide ive tried to sorta hide it in my post that i feel this way but somehow someway still make me feel worse i faked my death on a old twitter account just cause people were mentally cyberbulling me im already going to hell anyway might as well get down there as soon as possible my friends do some weird shit which makes me feel more introverted than i am and worse i dont even think they consider me as a friend they dont really talk to me im the one the starts conversations which i dont like to do im just kinda there watching them be extroverts im looking for new things to try i recently got into anime which makes me feel worse cuz of how big of a meme it has become i just need some reason one more reason again without my cat i dont feel great when he does i think ill kill myself i did the math he will die when im  im  my birthday was last week and guess who remembered my mom literally thats it only my mom not even my family just her im done this is like a outcast situation but in tv the outcast becomes really popular damn i wish it was that easy,3.0
40238,rt bangtale ex mutual became famous and unfollowed me aw this is so sad alexa play ddaeng,1.0
40239,ragnartornquist time to pretend is a better track ,0.0
40240,glad i could help a charity by bowling ,0.0
40241,my post about my mom dying was deleted i guess the mods thought it was too whiny damn i needed a safe place to vent and ask for advice on grief and being depressed already every time i need help i keep getting squashed and pushed away and now online from people who dont even know me maybe ill just stop trying,3.0
40242,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
40243,i have naval drill this weekend and we will be having a command picnic but zero alcohol while on duty  ,2.0
40244,watchin tv now ad then going to bed p i�m so tired man  soo i already have to sayy byee ,0.0
40245,watched elew perform at the crown bar in west hollywood  so good spotted chris pine the new capn kirk  his butt brushed my elbow ,2.0
40246,in the midst of the covid outbreak i got a job offer and refused it ive been unemployed since last year and was already struggling with my mental health but recently i got a great job opportunity as great as it can get for someone with no degree and has been unemployed for almost a year above minimum wage and with room for potential growth inside the company but as it is with most entry level jobs its a lot of work including weekends and its the last shift of the dayso i keep thinking about all of this while waiting for them to call me back to close the deal and start having second thoughts about it how ill lose weekends and probably almost never see my dad even though we live in the same house but because of the weird shift it would be hard for us to see and talk to each other but then i receive the long awaited call im anxious to death at this point with my heart racing and heavy breathing pick up the phone and say nothing then hung up they call again i pick up and answer and theyre officially offering me the job the woman calling was the same that interviewed me i automatically decline without even thinking about it she was surprised and i could sense confusion in her voice and i never contacted them again i regreted the decision instantly but i was too ashamed to call them back and ask for the job so i just told my folks i didnt get it and have been dying inside ever since honestly im just writing this so it doesnt remain a secret that only i know to ease the guilt but i know itll probably never go away completelytldr unemployed get good job offer and turn down for comfort reasons,3.0
40247,check out  amp post it for me plz ,0.0
40248,sitting in school teacher jahn makes partyyyy  haha milly love you one month huh  ff,0.0
40249,i cant really explain how much i love sex and the city ,0.0
40250,jazcan too bad  maybe try a powerful flashlight lol,2.0
40251,im so worried about the future i dont want to live past  this is a throwaway i dont want my friends to see thisi was doing exceptional last year in school i was incredibly happy and everything went amazingly without even having to study with top grades or close to top grades in everythingthis academic year though has been a lot different i have started my gcses english secondary school exams and already my grades have dipped lower than before they recovered a little lately but particularly science is terrible i was on track for a grade  last year the top grades now i feel like ill be lucky if i get a things have changed so quickly and the exam specifications have changed to be much more difficult since last year so drastically all my friends are still doing really well but im falling behind im really worried and it made me think about my futureim scared this probably sounds pathetic to a lot of people but when my grades dipped significantly it genuinely made me realise that if i do badly on my gcses once my parents are dead i wouldnt mind being dead the only thing i live for right now is my friends and family my school work is so stressful and difficult that im struggling to keep it all together without good grades i fear im nothingschool is so integrated into my life and is literally everything i live for and without succeeding i dont think ill mind if i die after my parents because i know how upset they would be,3.0
40252,raduchira  spamu acuma pe twitter sa marit ,2.0
40253,rt theamitlakhani ianuragthakur we sffngo menwelfare get thousands of calls each month frm innocent men hu r wasting their youth in c,0.0
40254,morningireland youre not following me so i cant dm you back  left a message at your extension,2.0
40255,lakers up by  ,2.0
40256,rt indiansinner depressed teens go into their adult years living with depression and never getting help because they dont know any ,1.0
40257,mfs im already in depression i dont your too,2.0
40258,game of thrones partially kept me from killing myself with the new and last season starting today i remembered it was one of the things i looked forward to at my worst point i didnt care for much except for got and marvel movies they were the things i was gonna miss when i was going to kill myself well im just glad i didnt pull the trigger and now im here to see the conclusion of this show and the avengers,3.0
40259,adult my parents did an awful job of preparing me to be an adult im  years old i cant drive i cant make phone calls i dont have a job got fired after i got some teeth pulled  they didnt do what they needed to do to prepare me for life and adulthood now they just expect me to be able to do these things all on my own on top of that their inaction has left me with horrible mental health i want to die all the time dying would be easier than picking up the slack my parents left me with im tired i have a headache my heart is in pain i just need a smoke,3.0
40260,  having casual day lol ,0.0
40261,need someone to talk to going through a rough patch right now need someone to talk to ,3.0
40262,is finally home fed and ready to go to bed and its only   thats gotta be a record ,0.0
40263,i just feel empty and i dont know why i just feel so lonely i feel like im nothing i feel like i have nothing i feel like theres no point or end to my life would reading a good book help me get away from this feeling probably except when i finish it then i would feel even worse ,3.0
40264,bif naked too good to meet a fan to sign a tattoo ,2.0
40265,alaskaartist thank you for the butterflies i am going to use those in ebay feedback ,0.0
40266,rt alexmohajer hey cameronkasky why do you think the nra spent  million dollars unprecedented amount to try and defeat hillarycl,2.0
40267,just added a geek chart to the bottom of my blog httpmonarchlibrarianblogspotcom cant believe i havent blogged since dec ,2.0
40268,cake is what im having for breakfast  and i am loving it i wish it was chocolate though oh a triple chocolate huge piece of cake ahhhh,0.0
40269,daviddunwoody i look forward to reading the deep dark secrets to be shared on amazon ,0.0
40270,all that said ive discovered theres more to a cellphone than a keyboard ,0.0
40271,the most collect calls are made on fathers day ,2.0
40272,awful day and english lit revision is getting me down  may go and try to see if i can write a song,2.0
40273,is watching national treasure   love that movie and david archuleta,0.0
40274,jqueyriaux yes i do its hard sometimes  like today ,2.0
40275, ok edithgoodnight and sweet dreams  x,0.0
40276,susan boyle is a perfect singer and i find its sad she couldnt sing because shes socalled quotuglyquot ,2.0
40277,what do i even call this sometimes especially during intense depressions we have memories that seem as real as the tides on the shoreline that depict a past life as usually a red fox sometimes the thoughts attached are this couldve been you and sometimes theyre this used to be you its always kinda torturous theyre always quite simplistic not peaceful but easy the emotions from the time are invariably sort of positive the thrill of chasing small game sleepy pleasure from turning in to bed when it gets too bright outimagine having the life you need dangled at you just out of reach a world of great contentment just outside forelimbs reachtortureand then the presence dangling it is like only the goodest of good boys amp girls get to live like thisand doesnt tell me why im not good enoughit just makes one feel worthless,3.0
40278,bobwalsh cant wait  when can we expect release,0.0
40279,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,2.0
40280,yeah another tropical rain storm blowing through yee haaa i walked in the rain to get lunch just now ,0.0
40281,feeling lonely without my sister shes living with a friend now ,2.0
40282,philles she looked at the door and stepped away ,0.0
40283,for the record kris allens rendition of heartless was amaaaaazing ,0.0
40284,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
40285,aslanwrp many thanks my friend i appreciate that i am hoping the best for you as well please keep me informed how things go for you ,0.0
40286,richardspoor blessingtbm athiho agentcurieuse helenzille sorry but thats bullshit and i think you know it i ,1.0
40287,just had a nightmare that porno man shot me  but we werent in the library we were in some sort of family drama show  now cant sleep ,2.0
40288,being alone ive gotten used to being alone and i wanna reach out to people but im scared that i cant socialise in the way i used to before and the eventual drop back to being back alone will feel even worse,3.0
40289,patimc snarkysharky lmfao u  it was funny ,0.0
40290,bored already gonna watch sex and the city to entertain myself a little ,0.0
40291,bad news from the doctor today  scared,2.0
40292,thought there was a sallys wher i live but no for hair and beauty trade ,2.0
40293,ahhhhh hungry  finding something to eat before carbonleaf show  ,0.0
40294, your mom  oh god i am so sorry  you have a big safety net in us   ,2.0
40295,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
40296,shiraabel thanks ,0.0
40297,janinaz heh  of course not the arcade games industry is dead used to work for one of the holdouts midway  theyre now dead too  ,2.0
40298,went to the doctor today hey allfirst time poster here how do you know for sure you have depression i talked to a doctor today that suggested that i go see a psychiatrist i mean i dont feel great but what do you define as depressionthanks,3.0
40299,got a turkey hat on yoville from a friend cant get enough of it ,0.0
40300,bronwen thanks for the bday wishes ,0.0
40301,mothmilk i noticed ,0.0
40302,rt zonumettevy sharika aka  has been hospitalized for attempted suicide  why now after appearing to have a burst of drag,2.0
40303,channelhastings same here terry he should have been at smooth sundae yesterday ,2.0
40304,i tried to watch sin city but only got halfway through ,2.0
40305,lauredhel yeah i did some of that sorry already sent ,0.0
40306,its soo hot  outside ,0.0
40307,grammarose  dilaraesengil truthseeker scratchhere mrsimonmorris   ,0.0
40308,just got back from ocean city yesterday  it was ok weather but now i am sitting here in computers hi abbey,2.0
40309,chazdrums oh sorry i thought you were talking about somthing else  im dumb bhaha,2.0
40310,brendaelizabeth sorry abt your bike  but yay for your date what restaurant,2.0
40311,so wheres the magical timemachine hmm i miss you guys ,2.0
40312,i want to be like everyone else i dont have a single friend  i do try but never can click with people and im so lonely  i see other girls my age all hanging out and doing things together posting photos and enjoying life but im always stuck at home alone or im just at collegei hate myself so much i hate my personality and i hate how i look i feel too disgusting for the world i wish i could swap lives with one of the popular pretty skinny girls at college mine just seems so pathetic in comparison,3.0
40313,bad day ,2.0
40314,jasonericdavis its crazy and most of the expense is for pleasing ppl you dont really care for ,2.0
40315,ah work you sod  its raining and we predict we wont do many cars by  whats twitvid people,2.0
40316,sigh whats wrong with google tonight ,2.0
40317, and why is that miss ,0.0
40318,naugusta aloha kakahiaka how do you like it im one of the rare few who hasnt jumped on the iphone wagon yet my phone still works ,0.0
40319,hi to everyone at the nhtweetup still on my way back from   sorry to be missing it ,2.0
40320,junkbunny  i know how you feel ,2.0
40321,bmanley lol yeah sounds good sorry about all the whinging ,2.0
40322,erdoland great hanging out with you   hope youre  having fun  disney ,0.0
40323,dealing with loneliness as the source of my sadness ive been having very dark thoughts since i was around  years old im now  and i often although not daily think about if id be better off ending it everything just seems stagnant ive got nowhere since graduating college  years ago and my sadness sucks out all my energy which deters me from trying to succeed im trapped in my own head constantly i can barely sum up how it feels im constantly thinking and analysing but just feel so lonely i interact with my colleagues at work and chat to my mother over the phone but beyond that i have no interaction with other people you cant talk to anyone these days with out being treated like a weirdo im so alone i just want some company and too be content with my life but i cant find the answers people claim to like me but dont really show it nobody ever invites me anywhere talks to me even texts me to say hello its exhausting,3.0
40324,my life feels devoid of meaning i can say i have a lot my health car home education recently i didnt make the cut to join an organization that ive been working for due to my grades slipping my grades slipped as a result of a lot of toxic people bringing me down now there is nothing for me to do besides get good grades and go to work i have no lover and a few friends but this doesnt feel like enough for me i always have something going on to give me sense of accomplishment but recently i feel devoid of that im not sure how to make this feeling of melancholy truly go away,3.0
40325,mariaandros maria so good to see you feeling good again i wanted you to know first because its all because of youi just reached  ,0.0
40326,watching keeping up with the kardashians marathon ,0.0
40327,the situations ive been through are not worthy of depression yet i have it yesterday i was on my way to kill myself i was walking to a bridge i couldnt get on the bus though it scared me what i was doing i have ptsd depression and dissociation i have felt dead since the end of high school i am almost  now depression has completely overtaken me and has distorted everything i think and feel the stupid thing about all of this though was that the bad situations ive been through have not been worthy of getting depression i feel like i feel like someone else could go through what i went through and come out fine while i have to go everything with shit colored glasses on turning all of my experiences into terrible ones im sick of not being honest about how i feel what i think i pretend like everything is fine and i am so sick of it the bad situations i have been through involve people in positions of authority over me abusing their power emotionally and spiritually but i always second guess that these things are valid i have been exorcised without my consent have been in toxic environments involving my peers and professors in college and have been sort of physically abusedbeing directed in a play to walk around like an animal past exhaustion for well past the normal number of hours you should be rehearsingi had bruises all over me and there was blood on the stage sometimes i also felt like i was being hypnotized by one of my professors without my consent but i am not sure that this is true too she thought she knew who i was and would often tell me who she thought i was trying to convince me to believe it this played with my identity i have a hard time formulating words for what ive experienced im not sure if i will ever really understand what i experienced i have ptsd and i dont even completely understand why i need help and im in counseling but i cant seem to pull out of this and the thing is i had depression before any of the trauma happened can anyone relate,3.0
40328,morning twitter  going to see coraline today after last nights wolverine was such a snoring letdown picnic with megan first though ,0.0
40329,how can i forgive myself for losing the love of my life due to depression met the girl of my life  years ago shes from another country and in that culture men dont show weakness and talk about feelings this girl is not like the vast majority of women there because she simply doesnt like these old gender roles and even said to me early that she love that i am a guy who can show emotions cry if i have to and not as most guys who try to be macho but of course her being raised in this culture even though she doesnt like this cut off emotionsplay tough attitude thats how shes borned and raisedi have been suffering from recurring depressions since i was young now almost  tried all kinds of medications and therapy but nothing has really helped my previous girlfriend wanted me to talk about how i feel so im used to that but still doing it on this level ive done i will never ever do if i fall into depression again a problem is that the depressions has led me into severe self hate and i read out old conversations and it was painful to see how pathetic i acted even the smallest things i reacted to like the world was going under i told her how my life sucks how i am bad in this and that way really stupid and the last thing you should tell your girlfriend especially early in the relationshipshe had never experienced depression and because she had a tough childhood in a poor country i can really understand how pathetic this must have looked anyway my dream is a house on the countryside and i had the chance of my life with this girl she wanted to move with me to a house and i found a dream house for a very good price but my fear and doubts made me hesitate and when i finally made a bid it was too late she later changed her mind and wanted to stay in the city were we live but later i got a second chance because she was up for it again but i was too picky with house after missing out the dream house and she got fed up with thisthings went worse and worse i got on sick leave by the time she moved to me she is super social and positive and this is exactly the kind of girl i want and especially her but my negativity criticism and judgemental behavour made her move further and further away from me i was never bad to her but depression can get you self absorbed so i overlook her needs and didnt do the things i should i am a very kind and caring person otherwize many even say that im too kind but again the depression made me self centered i only visited her home country once i didnt help her out that much as i should with learning my language and other things she didnt know people obviously when she moved here and even though we did a lot of things like travel partying creative things etc i understand she was feeling alone now she has a circle of friends through her jobshe did bad things too like going behind my back ignoringrejecting me a lot shes not a talker and i think she suffers from some problems herself she can cut off her emotions completely she has a huge fear of abandonment etc it was very hard to talk about issues because she basically always saw it as me fighting even though i was calm and just tried to solve things she had trouble with understanding why i didnt want to join on all these parties  because when i did i was always social she called me insecure for not wanting to join and that made me feel insecure and it came to a point when i isolated myself even at workotherwize i am actually a confident as a person i have mental strength from coping with depressions for so long but overworking just made me fall into the rabbit whole before i could see it coming and stop it before i was suffering from severe ocd but i beat it myself with mindfulness and exposure i am not scared of exposure and always want to improve myself and get better and better months i got diagnosed with add which was the reason for depressions and anxiety all the time  hence no other medication worked i have become better and better  more and more social but it was too late a lot of trust issues led to this led to that and she broke up  days before christmas after me talking her into trying again  times during  month when she said it was no idea because it wont work were fine now but its hard to see her date guys while we still are living under the same roof only for one more week thoughbut she told me that if i only got that house all had been different if i only had proposed to her if i only this and that i was angry at her for some time because how cold hearted she acted post breakup but when i read our old conversations i understand how difficult it must have been for her and reading her messages when she was the one that really pushed us into buying that house which today i regret i didnt do and cant help but continue dwelling is painful i wont do it again but cannot forgive myself that i did it that i lost the chance of my life to be with this amazing loving and worry free girlalso before the breakup i booked an appointment for couple therapy i hoped that she could get perspective and see her faults too and see that we actually could fix this unfortunately the session was very unfair it was mostly about my depression and it all made it sound like we were so different persons and she believed it so much that she told me after coming out from the building thank you for taking me here now i know i made the right decision and she wasnt angry at me or anything she just said it because she was happy to finally understand it she even told her workmates this and i hate that i took her there because again it was unfair i am not the person i used to be i have changed to much and continue to do so day by day even though its hard as hell all thisand the thing is when i am not depressed and now after i got the right medication we are a super great couple we are like soul mates and we said it before and now i am even more a person that fits even better with her than before but i know she only thinks of the bad times because it makes it easier for her to move on fuck its hard i even remember her telling me that she told her mom when meeting me that this is the man i am going to marry and that night we kissed and continued to say i love you i love you to each other the whole night while looking in each others eyes its so hard to think about this its true paini have changed a lot and she told me that too since i got the medication for add i havent been depressed a single second and no pathetic things like how i hate myself how i suck how i have no friends shit cant believe i sadwrote this i have become more worry free thanks to her but there are still a lot to work on and i will become the best i can be i will go on a trip to india for a month now to expose myself for my fears and become even more worry free trust me its not because i want her back  i want to become more like that for myself the thing is that shes into law of attraction meditation yoga and so on i have been into meditation and mindfulness a lot before and like these things and will now try to dive even deeper into it but it hard with this trip because being honest the reason i first decided to do it is to prove to her that i am independent and can follow through something like this not just being something i say i will do and the reason i choose india was partly also because its her dream country and i wanted to impress her i think being in love make you do crazy stuffai know the probabilities that we get back together is low even though we said only a couple of days ago that we will see later on she said that maybe we can start dating again in the future and in that case just skip the past and start all over but i cant stop dwelling the past how i lost this chance how i could be so stupid scared of change how i couldnt see what i hadhow do i forgive myself for loosing this one in a million girl how to i stop dwelling i really need helpthank you ,3.0
40330,nixnaks sinong crushiecrush haha i miss you nikka hindi ulit ako pwede sa monday  hanggang friday ,2.0
40331,i keep having daydreams abot meeting him in random places im so fuckig sad,2.0
40332,what are you supposed to do i dont know if this is the right place for this but the issues stems a lot from depression amplified by a lot of bad thingsive struggled for a long time with rather sudden attacks of feeling really quite suicidal usually its a thought or feeling that suddenly is ramped up really high like within a minute or so and im then panicking ive seen a therapist for when they started getting really bad a year or more ago but it didnt seem to reduce it i took  different antidepressants and none of them did me any good life got better briefly before i went through a big traumatic event and now i get these attacks at least once or twice every week including way before corona lockdownso im really desperately wondering how are you supposed to cope with this or reduce it i am seeing a therapist right now but were having to move really slowly because were working on the traumatic events ive been through in the past few years so it isnt really stopping these attacks does anyone here have any tips for reducing the overwhelming feeling or preventing it escalating id really appreciate any tips or advice because i dont know how to live like this,3.0
40333,omg i saw this commercial and i dont think they hate each other ,0.0
40334,ready to hit the bed im tired goodnight ,0.0
40335,another day at workwish it was friday ,2.0
40336,says someone who has probably never suffered from depression platitudes solve nothing ,2.0
40337,hello again today was a nice day at school  very funny but its also a sad day because a good friends pet died todayrip ceasar ,2.0
40338,on my way to the stables watching a movie on my ipod at the same time its raining ,2.0
40339,still searching for videos from the great weekend in berlin werder  nothing better then running at the river with a cupwin in mind ,0.0
40340,i dont get why it says i have more followers then i can see following me ,2.0
40341,many youths in iran are sending goodbye msgs to frnds amp fmly preparing for the coming days  iranelection,2.0
40342,listening to awake by godsmack ,0.0
40343,bakin  the pooooool ,0.0
40344,btcare the router kept resetting but it seems to have stopped now and hasnt reset itself for hours thanks for responding on twitter ,0.0
40345,ughhhhh near is nowhere as entertaining as l ,2.0
40346,i have never laughed so hard at a hannah montana episode like i have from the one last night ,0.0
40347,dunks messed up my coffee again  last week hazelnut sounded like coconut and today apparently hazelnut is french vanilla,2.0
40348,off to lelands hs graduation pouring like hell too sucks ,2.0
40349,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
40350,well tweeps mother in law is on her way not much hope for my twitter addiction today    tweet ya later,2.0
40351,trying to pack this disaster of an office ,2.0
40352,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
40353,im bored need something to do i want to do stuff im autistic i feel restless ,3.0
40354,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
40355,is very aware that now ben has resigned none of his friends have twitter therefore updating noone on his daytoday progressim fine ,0.0
40356,the chippy is shut  i keep spelling shut wrong  i want some ice cream now there was an ad on the tv i had a nice sunny morn though,2.0
40357,watching tv bored ,2.0
40358,empty empty nothing i used to read i used to have a burning passion i used to have friends i used to have a purpose i used to be thin i used to be pretty i used to bei used to bei dont know when it changed its all foggy i dont remember who i was i dont remember what i wanted i dont remember how i was i constantly ask myself what if what if we didnt have to move across the ocean what if we moved here earlier or later what if i was in a different class what if i was a better person what if i was never born what if i disappeared as if i never existed tomorrowwho am i who am i to have a mental illness perhaps i am just weak lazy nothing but a void wrapped in skin am i truly depressed i dont know i feel sad a lot i feel empty a lot too i dont remember the last time i truly felt joy a previously gifted child no it is just different here in america i was used to harsh teachers hard homework green notebooks blue pens grey skies cool summers cold winters and i was taken from there to a hot place with an easier primary school and that made me who i am i was stuck up in fifth grade i was quite unpleasant and i realised it then it might have started thenmy family my father mother brother puppy and i we went for a walk this evening we walked in the park its so pretty there so many dogs squirrels birds so many trees with their flowers so many flowers themselves so bright and excitedi thought i was happy right then but i wasnt i looked at the sky it was beautiful but i didnt feel happy im empty i have no purpose but to diei am alive because im not yet deadwho am i to pretend that depression is serious when all i do instead of killing myself is be lazy and distract myself with useless shit that nobody wantsim sorry you probably didnt read thisbut if you did please comment anything anythingi dont need help i dont want help i want to be seen by youthank you,3.0
40359,damn got cut off again every time we talk the phone cuts out after  hours ,2.0
40360, what part of the a inif u n gwinnett u gone be bored i am ,2.0
40361,photo i just listened to this album its sooooo good emery fans will not be disappointed  go invest on ,0.0
40362,  thats me  a photo to win a violet guitar signed by mileycyrus had to take a rock pic  not the best,0.0
40363,faking an interest first off for context im britishi had to wake up early this morning to catch up with all the oscars results and read the anecdotes and look at the dresses etc all because back when i was a real person i was really interested in film and everything that goes with iti used to take actual days off surrounding american award ceremonies so that i could absorb everything and sleep the next day make charts predictions all of thatim a non person now a shell who looks like the person my family know its way too complicated to go into but basically despite vaguely knowing what is up with me its just easier for everyone to ignore it in a very british way the downside for me being having to pretend that i give two tiny shits about some award ceremony a million miles away when i want to be deadblargh basically im cross because i know its all im going to be asked about today and making myself study all this crap just reminds me that i used to care about thingshave a bearable day friends,3.0
40364,today i have to go to the hospital  but tomorrow midsummerfair in quotalphen ad rijnquot netherlands is someone else coming too ,2.0
40365,now stuck in traffic from hell ,2.0
40366,i think im at the point of having to start taking antidepressants im a  and the depression never goes away some days are more tolerable than others and sometimes im actually able to get up and do life but no matter what i always feel as if im coasting im just doing what i need to do and not ever enjoying living ive had numerous therapists suggest i take medication and have tried quite a few different kinds in the past the longest i actually took an antidepressant was about a month i cant say that actively been full force working on my depression because most of the work is just getting through a day without staying in my bed ill have the motivation to do something positive for maybe a day or two ex journaling making my bed dressing to look good challenging the negative thoughts but thats usually when the depression ends up hitting hard a few days later when the motivation is completely gone and i dont end up doing something positive i just feel like a complete waste of space again im terrified that medication will make me feel even worse or that none of the medications will actually work then ill be left with no other options to tackle this darkness in the past i drank on my medication and almost fucked up my entire life numerous times ive tried to cut it out so many times but i always find an excuse to reintroduce it into my life my friends drink every weekend and its what we do when we hang out and my family uses alcohol for events holidays birthdays etc or because they had a rough week therefore i constantly fall back into the habit of drinking im so terrified of everything that could go wrong with bringing an antidepressant into my life figures im not focusing on how it can actually help  but i guess i just would like to hear any advice success stories or how medication actually helped anyone if it did im also studying psychology and sociology at my college honestly the only reason i force myself to get out of bed most days which is progress after dropping out of my first school so i feel like im never going to be capable of helping others if i cant even get a handle on my stuff  i apologize if this is disorganized and hard to follow but im just looking for some helpguidance on the idea of taking antidepressants thanks ,3.0
40367,sometimes i over communicate i dont give too much information or details i just want to talk i attempt to reach out until im just ignored then i spiral out in one of the corners of my room with my head in my hands i try to explain it to friends but they dont understand they understand being sad but im fighting ptsd and depression most days they just cant grasp the internal struggles anyway just wanted to write that out,3.0
40368,considering checking myself into the psych ward hey i think i just need some advice on this i thought i was doing really good clean for  months feeling alright in spite of being unemployed and stuff i feel like the day and night difference in my mood swings is getting bigger and that my depressive episodes are getting out of hand i notice when i start posting a lot on social media a lot of impulsive stuff feeling like im losing myself bit by bitanyway im considering checking into a psychiatric ward if this escalates ive been on the ward a couple times one prolonged time a year and a half ago and it completely fucked me up i just want to know if its possible to voluntarily check in to a good facility that doesnt feel like a prison or completely revoke free will and treats inpatients like human beings then i would consider getting help i live in canada and i think for the most part the stay would be covered so im currently looking into what places there are where i can get help im just really worried ill get suicidal again and theyll lock me in a room like before i just want help is this something worth doing,3.0
40369,goodmorning world ,0.0
40370,college depression hey guys this is my first post here but i really need to make it i am a second semester freshman in college and my depression has gotten significantly worse from its normal levels i started going to counseling got medication and am generally working on myself  but my depression has gotten so bad i havent been able to to do my work or much of anything with any enjoyment my thoughts of suicide and self harm are usually manageable but ever present and ive started smoking cigarettes as an alternative to self harm  i feel so guilty but its one of the only things i feel in control of at this point and i know im going to end up addicted but it still feels better than self mutatalation anyone know ways to get over a lump and be able to do work besides exercising ,3.0
40371, yes sir they are poor little thing is trying to dry her hair now too owwie   itll heal though,2.0
40372,starting to get really angry and suicidal and its not good i hate being alive i wake up angry now ive been depressed to the point of suicidal thinking for years now im  cant stick to anythingnothing gives me enjoymenti just lay around my apartment all day i have back pain and emotional pain that causes me to not be able to workeverywhere i see around me are college students and couples holding hands and loving eachotheri went on a date the other day and she talked about how she left a guy because he was too depressedim really thinking of suicide every fucking day the hotlines never helped the mental hospital stays never helped the therapists never helped the drugs made everything worseall i can do is lay in bed and hate being aliveif i had a girlfriend thats the only thing i can think of that helps but nobody swipes on me on tinder and i hurt so fucking bad and im not getting relief from anything or anybodyi want to be happy but i dont know how the fuck that feels and when i google these things all i see are posts where people feel the same way i know a guy who just attempted suicide and is in the hospital and i havent even been up to visit himevery time i like a girl she just leaves and im just really overwhelmed i hate being alive so fucking much i want to not exist because every waking moment is mediocre or downright painfuli need advice,3.0
40373,is trying out the plurk to twitter function  ,0.0
40374,its a friday and i have nothing to do but sit here and waste my time on twitter and facebook im sooo lame  ,2.0
40375,working out honestly helps with my anxiety so i need to be more determined and go to the gym more😞,1.0
40376,librarianbyday what phone did u have before this do u like it so far  yay for new gadgets,0.0
40377,heading back to pa ,0.0
40378,i dont know how to get out ive been in an out of therapy since i was  i finally just gave up it wasnt working and i never felt any better things started becoming better slowly i started having a savings planning for the future brand new car that my old boss helped me get there was food in my fridge i was social again got a boyfriend my credit started going up which was my plan so i could take out a mortgage im  i was laid off in december i have no money now my brand new car went into the shop  weeks ago and its cost me every last cent i have i had to borrow from my sister and i feel like a scumbag for it i havent paid any of my bills i dont see my friends and they never answer my text messages but will send me snapchats of everyone out and about i have a small apartment that smells like dog pee from this dog im fostering which i decided today i cant do anymorei feel like such a failure i graduated from a fantastic university with a  year degree in political science and criminology i cant go back to school for my law degreemasters because i owe the first college money that i cant pay off i cant do anything right ive always felt like a failure and a loser but this last month just proved it theres no more food in my fridge theres no social life anymore im right back to where i started i fight with my bf all the time i never leave my apartment all i wanted to do was have kids a career and a home with a backyard big enough for a garden instead i sit in my chair and cry all day i wouldnt kill myself while my parents are alive but i wouldnt exactly care if i died tldr everything went up then it came crashing down i cant handle anymore ,3.0
40379,mediadsign i guess moderation  it should be cached it wastes cpu cycles and cssjs whitespace trim is useless so tiny bw savings,2.0
40380,sadly my email is quicker than watching tweets atm ,2.0
40381,rt shxramin the most sad is both his grandma and grandpa passed away when he is away from korea😭😭yang paling sedih kakek dan neneknya,2.0
40382,danaschurer me toooo so jealous of nicoledegroot  miss your face hope you have a fun night im off to get druuuuunk ,0.0
40383,tehemopenguin no please cody  i was on please please i feel horrible please,2.0
40384,jackiechanfs awesome pictures thnx for posting ,0.0
40385,in disney  breakfast with the characters  ,0.0
40386,thank god its friday but too bad its not payday  more days of stress ,0.0
40387,weekendwino you got rid of the picture    nice daisy tho,2.0
40388,locococomoco the minds of men are always tilted towards the slippery slope of the gutter so sorry its a primal instinct ,0.0
40389,installing windows  rc on my macbook this feels wrong ,2.0
40390,mariomorgan pffft i dont actually have any pancakes ,2.0
40391,as i was getting ready to update my phone i ran into two problems   not supported for pc and the xp machine  toast   vm time,2.0
40392,decryption silly me thanks ,0.0
40393,think im gonna go for a bathhead is really starting to ache now ,2.0
40394,im so sick of chicago weather its june and this weather is crazy i wish i lived in california ,2.0
40395,taking baths when your depressed i was listening to a reddit video on youtube and looking through the comments when i read a comment that was basically advocating taking baths when your depressed because its nice meanwhile the entire replys were  like ew no thx to soaking in my own dirty skin water  i was sitting there likemy ass would be way too tempted to commit death bro cant be putting my self face deep in water nopeno thx not getting near a bath scenario anytime soon haha but hey thanks to the nasty tub in my house no worries yall,3.0
40396,back in zagreb ,0.0
40397, prevailing wage hmmmm ,0.0
40398,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
40399,himadagascar i dunno working ,2.0
40400,amp running apple hardware test on said install disc throws up an error great ,2.0
40401,johnsoncab oh no not you too that song is all kinds of awful alex ,2.0
40402,so many homework ,2.0
40403,today sucks ,2.0
40404,help i always feel suicidal after certain time dont know when i will eventually loose it,3.0
40405,wwwtecnastycom mrbigz crap  i sold friday   mrbigz httpbitlyjtvgp,2.0
40406,i ♥ the new dmb cd ,0.0
40407, yep i will lol ,0.0
40408,ever misplace a bag of hershey kisses when i find that bag its going to be a brick of chocolate ,2.0
40409,depression is getting in the way of a new relationship i havent been in a serious relationship in a long time because i always freak out and then slowly disappear but im really trying this time and it feels  harder hes perfect but the depression is stopping me from letting myself be happy first time posting thank you for creating a space to vent,3.0
40410,mynameisxave yes tau kok hihi how are you ,0.0
40411,ryancarson  oh man  make a fowd in luxembourg d,2.0
40412,my life is not hard helloi am probably going to delete this in a few hours but i just wanted to know if anyone agreed with these thoughts or has had these thoughtsobjectively my life is pretty good i get really good grades i have a few close friends not as many as id like but my friends are really really cool i have interests and hobbies pokemon video games music exercise swimming etc all of this looks really fucking cool on paperso when my body is flooded with cortisol and the burning horrible shitty sensation in my stomach is present for  of my life it makes me a little confused when food becomes a meaningless mush after  seconds of eating despite my bodys ungodly need for  calories a day as a   individual it makes me a little confused when everyone around me is thriving in their environment and making friends and having a grand old time while i waste away in my room alone on friday nights when i could very easily be with them it makes me a little fucking confused i like to blame it on me being busy or having work to do or me wanting to sleep early but deep down i know its because i like wasting away i have always always attributed this to life being hard life is hard for everyone everyone feels sadness everyone gets a little down sometimes because you cant feel the ups without the downs right the height of my ups sometimes makes me question what the point is why the fuck is everyone trying to chase such a shitty highi thought this for a long time i thought what i was feeling was normal because life is hard but as previously mentioned life isnt fucking hard for me life for me is the easiest god damned cake walk ever experienced by humankind this shit makes no fucking sense,3.0
40413, day weekend and all i can think of is work waiting to ambush me on tuesday   damn you work,2.0
40414,queenrania ohi´m going to become one ,0.0
40415,surfs up this week  starting this afternoon ,0.0
40416,today is the big day graduation day ,0.0
40417,grantimahara   i am a chemist and a bartender  and yes it is science  or ethanol in the lab w ,0.0
40418,zappyro welcome to the club ,0.0
40419,omg just watched jon and kate plus    history exam tomorrow,2.0
40420,mchammer they dont show livebaseball in germantvbut we love footballyou call itsoccerand my favrouite teamthe hsv is in the  ,0.0
40421,still no rain ,2.0
40422,at applebees im kinda aticked because no one can go to the beach maybe katie can go though ,0.0
40423,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
40424,conniereece lolyeah did it last week  heres a pic from dallas ,0.0
40425, ya dont stop yer vids theyre always awesome much love ,0.0
40426,roozette you are my favorite roo in the whole wide world  since i get your kid that sorta makes you my family   arent you proud,0.0
40427,is going to miss chickenfoot at shepherds bush empire ,2.0
40428,itsabell never and i finish everything by middle july  maybe this autumn dont know if i can but i want to  and  for you where,2.0
40429,nope smooth away not an acceptable alternative to shaving the bikini area takes longer not as thorough and same itchiness afterward ,2.0
40430,ok time to go sleep its been an eventful day thank you donniewahlberg jordanknight and joeymcintyre  goodnight all,0.0
40431,i just want to be fixed i got unlucky or lucky the way you look at it and my parents found out i was depressed theyre split up and dont like eachother much they nothing about how severe it is or anything like that they decided to get me a therapist to in my moms own words find out whats wrong with me i just want to be fixed i feel so broken everything i do is wrong and i cant do anything right my grades are dropping and my memorys so bad i cant fucking remember lefts and rights my mom constantly yells at me saying its for my own good it hurts her more than it hurts me all that bullshit i constantly have thoughts of killing people often meticulously planning their deaths friends family strangers i get annoyed so easily it makes me want to rip out throats i beat myself up for everything i dont care anymore only animals are safe human life has no value or meaning why cant i be fixed i have a phobia of walking in the middle of hallways in a school  kids over capacity it doesnt help the capacity is  im scared of my mom and am trying to live with my dad but im not willing to say anything to her im too much of a wimp to kill myself and i hate it all so fucking much i dont want to get better just out of this damn purgatory help me thanks in advance i guess wish me luck explaining to all my teachers at the same time with an anxiety riddled everything why i need a  plan,3.0
40432,lauramacpherson u got followers from that i didnt ,2.0
40433,is impatiently waiting for swac to come on newest obsession new episode ,0.0
40434,seonaidbbz awww gutted ,0.0
40435,watching last years wimbledon final poor rafa wont be there this year  oh well go murray,2.0
40436,today is my  birthday       i truly never thought i would make it this far things have been falling apart and nothing is going the way i intended im a disappointment to my parents because i am not in college and i dont have a job or any reason to leave the house anymore all of the friends i used to have stopped communicating with me almost all together my only reason for living is my boyfriend and my dogs one day i hope everything will be okay      happy birthday to me  i hope i can make it another year ,3.0
40437,has yet another lurgy ,2.0
40438,my friends all forgot my birthday during spring break about a week back it was my  birthday due to the fact my birthday always falls during break my friends at school dont remember i didnt even get a text they dont really acknowledge my birthday even though every once in a while i tend to bring up that its nearing lately my depression has been worsening and i feel more like a burden than ever the only people to mention my birthday was my immediate family it really got me thinking about how little i mean to people i wouldnt feel this way if people said something once we got back to school but that didnt happen,3.0
40439,also visited elderly father yesterday hes in pain thin shaky and very emotional upsetting to see him like that ,2.0
40440,my right upperback is soooo sore if i take a deep breath it hurts my right shoulder and arm are sore too   i need a back rub,2.0
40441,  peace ,0.0
40442,mkhammer im in  with the  district delegation when you come down stop by ,0.0
40443,at champs camp it seems a couple of skaters got sick jeremyabbottpcf hope you feel better asap ,0.0
40444,not wanting to work today or all weekend  ughhhhhhhh,2.0
40445,i am a very happy girl ,0.0
40446,pinwingirl yeah me too  working at home   so should be able to fit in the odd tweet   ,0.0
40447, and why didnt you invite your bestie  tear lol,2.0
40448,pink i wish he was coming to canberra with you ,2.0
40449,joined progress got briefed about project got an awesome pc and cool cubical i am loving it ,0.0
40450,i purposely isolate myself i have been used for years to sitting alone at lunch i am used to being alone and being sad about it i almost need it my friends now ask me to sit with them i always say no i dont know why but i do i think my friends now think i hate them whenever they are the only thing that means a lot to me what can i do,3.0
40451,waxyjax i totally ignored joel last night  ha  such fun  ,0.0
40452,there are so many depressed people dont get me wrong this subreddit is a great place and its something i think many people need whats sad though is the fact of how many depressed people there are im joined to this subreddit and when im scrolling down through ill see so many posts from here its sad to see so many other sad people,3.0
40453,marksvoice yes my uploads consistent at   download varies though  this is what got me checking  ,2.0
40454, days ago from my last tweet ,2.0
40455,metricband both of my emails won   sold out so fast,2.0
40456,im done i am so tired i am so fucking ridiculously tired for no reason at all besides the fact that i am done living and feeling the way i do depression physically hurts me my heart genuinely feels like its being compressed over and over and theres this giant looming weight on my back just pushing me further and further down i am so tired so exhausted with people with friends with family with classes with all of the responsibilities and the expectations those expectations that i should be happy that i should be appreciative that i should just move on from the miserableness because i have such a good life with good people in it ive never wanted to fucking die so badly in my life and never have i been so confused and frustrated as to why besides the fact that i honestly just hate everything that i am,3.0
40457,almaciejewski im also totally tired today just went to bed at  yesterday cant get my eyes closed  dont know why  xoxo,2.0
40458,is twittering ,0.0
40459,tallulahdarling my phone died ,2.0
40460,rt rachaelmbade really moving question from woman who has a son wsevere mental health issues who lives on ssdi which potus cuts knight,0.0
40461,mileycyrus what is your biiiiiggggg announcement it prob aint  where you are but its  where i am ,0.0
40462,im numb i cant feel anything anymore everything i look forward to is a let down i dont think therapy would help me at all not that i could afford it anyways i dont want to talk to anyone and i dont think anyone i know would want to hear it im just so fucking tired i dont know if i can do this anymore,3.0
40463,have an emergency recovery meeting ,2.0
40464,thank you american heart association for having the vision to coinvent a future where games and social networks make us sweat a lot ,0.0
40465,tinamj hi tina thanx again  adding me on myspace  u can add me on here too,0.0
40466,dailyinvective i tried but you were snoring quite loudly ,2.0
40467,dojie im so sasened by ur claim me no no wanna talk to u nemore ,2.0
40468,i need to be cheered up  wheres rustyrockets when u need him,2.0
40469,back home and an unhappy bunny  ,2.0
40470,carolehicks well im coming from downtown dayton there will be more twitter meetups im sure ,0.0
40471,i really hope he takes all the time he needs this is truly sad i hope he can spend time with his family,0.0
40472,kodysangel wtf grr in his dreams pfft dont u worry babes the people that matter no the truth what a prize cock  hugs hope ur ok x,2.0
40473,luck runs out im  and it feels like my luck has just run out finally i managed to get into a college prep school on scholarship when i was going into high school i worked my tail off and got into a pretty good college in a major city on full scholarship i was involved in my fraternity and won us awards while on exec i met my wonderful girlfriend and i had solid internships throughout my time in college ive always fought to get what i want but now it seems like i cant anymore i couldnt find a job in the big city i went to college in for  months after graduation and my majoring in philosophy didnt help i was too optimistic about majors not mattering and studying something you love when i finally got one i pounced on the opportunity at first things were fine but now im at a point where i dread waking up when i do i lay in bed because i dont want to go to work that badly so im late im so mentally drained not from the work itself but the environment so when i get home i dont want to do anything with friends but i dont want to go to work in the morning when i wake up so i stay up late which makes me tired—counterintuitive i know i dont even want to go out on weekends and id rather just lay in bed only to get up for the bathroom or postmates ive been lashing out more and more because of a shorter temper now and even when i realize i cant suck up my pride and immediately apologize i know compared to other peoples problems this seems minor but ive never felt this way about anything before i feel guilty hating my job and wanting another one i feel guilty not being able to get a better job and i feel guilty for even feeling down about this my girlfriend thinks im depressed but coming from an asian immigrant household thats never been a thing its always been look at how bad other people have it be grateful and get over it im scared theres no getting over this one and that ive been found out as a fraud that my lucks run out and that im set for failure here on out thanks for letting me vent and rant,3.0
40474,just got done with studying and now watching southpark plus eating ice cream  lifes good,0.0
40475,divinetruth thanks babe ,0.0
40476,mcctheater kron has no e on the end just fyi ,0.0
40477,i am love deprived lonely i have had major depression and anxiety from a very young age but despite that i am still extroverted i need to build strong and special relationships with people i need to go out with people i need interaction i dont have that even though i take meds and see a therapist i still need support from people in my real life i have been through too much i just want someone to understand and to be there for me when it gets bad again i am too afraid to tell people i feel like i will become a burden i feel so lonely and it crushes me sometimes i feel like i cannot breathe i feel like the pain is so great that i might die i am so fucking lonely ,3.0
40478,squat with an overhead press is my favorite today should have chose to drink a few instead still hurts inside cant break my memories ,2.0
40479,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
40480,kind of want to just give up i need some help i need some help i feel lonely though i know my friends care about me i dont particularly do much and feel like i dont contribute to society much at all i want to do things but i dont have any motivation because i only get motivation from other and have no ability to motivate myself much i know its bad and i dont know if its my fault or not im not sure what to do anymore really just feel lost,3.0
40481,im sister sad,2.0
40482, thats awful ,2.0
40483,damn it i fucked up that download didnt i dickead haaa its fine ill try and get it to work pfffft work fuck thaaat ,0.0
40484,how common is it to still have to do therapy while doing meds therapy is wack yo so your boy is trying to get those feel good pills but my therapist has informed me to do so at least through their clinical network id have to continue therapy not as often but still is that a nornal thing are they trying to rob me,3.0
40485,i cant change my design colors is something wrong with twitter ,2.0
40486,frauherzlos if not there are a lot of things i can do ,0.0
40487,still is raining outside  me still lovin it,0.0
40488,logandawg yupyup im a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig caps fan my mom is a bigger caps fan she keeps making unhappy faces today ,2.0
40489,joegronlund no its everytime i get a message on bbm ,2.0
40490,jamescaan be gentle with them ,0.0
40491,im okay but i cant shake this feeling trigger warning   my depression was so bad months ago to the point where i wrote letters and a note i had it all planned out but then something changed after i prayed and my psychiatrist upped my dosage my life has turned around i actually look forward to things again and go to sleep without the isolating lonely feeling that ive had for a long time but i cant get rid of this feeling or more so knowing that i wont live past  or  whether i commit suicide or whatever the thought of living past that age seems utterly unattainable is this an alarming feeling that i should tell my psychiatrist or is it okay to have this mindset,3.0
40492,yay i got a pt on my scholar ,0.0
40493,manmademoon yeah sorry it was your birthday where i was ,2.0
40494,lidlo ill be your dutch best friend ,0.0
40495,back in london ,0.0
40496,mikkell is sick with the flu my poor baby  just tryna nurse him back to good health,2.0
40497,heathenshearth wow sad that the lost their cat  but they can have the triplets and give them a good home yay,2.0
40498,over at the new house ,0.0
40499,clarissemack expensive  i want to see it back around  shoulda got a hybrid,2.0
40500,😭😭,2.0
40501,not a happy camper  not having a good day at all,2.0
40502,to drink or not to drink so yeh same old story suffered depression most of my life was going good end of last year gf broke up with me beginning of this year was down and was slowly getting better isolation kicked in been starting to miss her a whole bunch more and been drinking myself to sleep so i can still wake up at a reasonable time for work work from home im pretty sure once i start going out again ill be over her but in the mean time drink to pass out or dont sleep at all,3.0
40503,needing some support after a mental breakdown hello i hope its okay to post here i suffer from depressionanxietyptsd and i have no support system tonight i had one of the worst mental breakdowns and yelled at my kid its a stressful time for my little family and my mental illnesses arent helping it i cannot make any excuse for my angry outburst but i am ashamed and feeling even more down than before im hoping someone can just talk to me as i have no one but my partner who is a wonderful person and tries but i think its just too much for them to deal with and im not expecting them to either i just have no where else to go with this issue life has been pretty rough and im not sure how much more i can take i never thought i would harm myself and i do not feel suicidal but just exhausted like itd just be easier if i wasnt here to have to face this crap anymore these thoughts are starting to scare me and im seeing that my depression is getting worse my anxiety trembles have returned and im not sleeping much my irritability is  times worse were down a car and i dont have insurance for therapy and have had bad experiences with that and medication in the past now im just scared of getting any kind of help but i dont know what to do since i cant cure myself obviously does anyone relate how can i cope with my current situation sorry if this just rambling im just so lost and have over a decades worth of trauma to heal and dont know where else to turn to please no judgement thanks ,3.0
40504,afternoontea do you want to bask in my droppedoutness ,0.0
40505,tonights lame watching lifetime at tiffs house not in a very good mood ,2.0
40506,epic fail on deciding not to go to comic con ,2.0
40507,i need help i just lost my necklace it is a gifted from my father he bought it for about   i need help i just lost my necklace it is a gifted from my father he bought it for about  i dont know what to do i am just a student i can not sleep for days i really money to buy it again before he find out i work as a free lancer but i can not find job what should i do ,3.0
40508,ok it kinda sad that theyre in cages outdoors but the neighborhood has dogs that have shred up rabbits in their ca ,2.0
40509,nnarbs aww girl im sorry   lets do lunch this weekcoras hey merr and i are taking spec ed part   interested mon deadline,2.0
40510,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
40511,is bored bored bored and once again bored grrrrrrrr ,2.0
40512,man im real fucking upset like i just wanna die im not even kidding im not trolling every night i want to overdose on whatever can hurt me or get something sharp enough to cut open my skin and watch and feel myself bleed out i want to hang my body and just in total end my life im never happy i only ever feel hurt or empty i want more than the same beginnings same ends same everything every time i love i get nothing everytime i give i get shit i feel like everything i do is pointless and no matter what the end result will always be the same i get to the point where i cant stop crying in class and i cant feel anything i hate this so much i dont know if i should let myself die but if i do it might just bring me to something worse i dont know i cant tell what to do this is horrible  i have nothing to live for i am not trolling,3.0
40513,hmmm stupid opera mini didnt update my status  is also having a boy with notontwitterlisa,2.0
40514,chiizus ugh im sorry to hear that ,2.0
40515,ohshitrospit like whoa ,2.0
40516,chasinaus thanks so much for the followfriday love really appreciate it ,0.0
40517,greekgodlamb sketchup is awesome you should post pics of what you got ,0.0
40518,help me i feel so alone and depressedand everyone on the internet hates me and people stare at me everywhereit makes me feel so shitand i have no joy to do anything anymore i need help,3.0
40519,our only assignment for today is science its kinda long bout branches of scienceetc lol ,0.0
40520,nostalgicdream im sorry about that though  i did feel bad,2.0
40521,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
40522,hair n makeup for work   am fed up of working,2.0
40523,aplusk good evening captain missed all your tweets from earlier today would have liked to sent a reply on iran thingys  ,2.0
40524,are iphone notes supposed to sync by plugging to itunes only or via mobileme too  havent successfully figured it out   anyone tried,2.0
40525, awww why u hate me ,0.0
40526,what do you do to combat your depression its interesting how we all cope differently maybe one of your coping methods could help mei feel like ive done everything to break the cycle i seem to have with my depression• i chose a job that was physically demanding and in the sun i am all about that vitamin d • i try and get myself to eat anytime im hungry• i get myself to sleep at a decent hour• i take meds and also see a counselor just to talk•i got a dog to take care of• im trying to put a lot more effort into making friends and keeping them• ive worked on coming to terms with a lot of insecurities•i listen to stand up comedy to make me laugh and smile and have it be genuine instead of forcing ittheres probably more but i still struggle it is tiring knowing this is going to be a constant battle,3.0
40527,sant� to mike the productor who let me down  cheer no pet  for sure,2.0
40528,beddie time really tired  god bless,0.0
40529,i have now realized that ranajune is right about everything ranajune tweets about i redact all previous challenges to her authority ,0.0
40530,so ive been thinking hello iam from argentina male  i feel so stupid for being depressive but what is really keeping me up at night is this deep and disgusting feeling of fucking guilt yes guilt what the hell im feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling bad you get the point how do you deal with this people im  been what you call a loser all my life overprotected shitty upbringing bullied never had fun nonexistent selfesteem still repressed homosexuality homophobic parents picked the wrong major college was hell reassurence of past experiences deepening of my self loathing ocd existential ocd so now  here i am with depression taking desvenlafaxine dont know how you call in your country seeing a therapist that tells me that i have to do something break the habits but i think the damege is too big my brain my soul is torn apart right now and still i feel fucking guilt so am i the only one feeling this way how do you survive,3.0
40531,rt  social media has not helped my anxiety,2.0
40532,spending new years alone by choice i felt the need to isolate myself from family this new years gonna order a pizza and eat it in my room how is everyones new year ,3.0
40533,perezhilton perezhilton perezhilton im your biggest fan  i promise just wanted you to know,0.0
40534,at starbucks in rr having my coffee a beautiful day out im getting tweats from sherri shepard so very cool thanks sherri ,0.0
40535,daily updates  celebrities  twitter   its my second day here and i loving it ,0.0
40536,kwiechers kirstiealley heard they didnt renew mediumupsetting ,2.0
40537,java  csharp translator  well hello world worked fine but as usual the real life case failed ,0.0
40538,followfriday yoi recommend moonique   isabelsotto and so on xd,0.0
40539,like a lone statue in the woods here i am sitting in a diner all by myself and i dont particularly feel lonesome but i do feel empty time to time i pick my head up to look at the people around and see the life each has a story of their own like giant books walking around me they all seem so normal and fine happy people normal people im so out of touch that it just makes me feel so different am i always going to be that person i know im different and i know i cant do anything about my sadness its a disease that just sits on my shoulders like the world crushing me down i know im always going to be alone because i naturally push everything away to stay alone when i try to touch the world it rejects me like looking through the glass i will always dream and watch this world from the outside wishing i could be inside and be just like them like a lost dog i will constantly keep roaming searching for home i wonder if they look at me and see the same thing i see a normal happy person ,3.0
40540,my bf is depressed and i just want to be there for him ive been through depression and the whole nasty cocktail of emotions before so whilst im not in that place anymore i know how isolating and suffocating it can feel i really just want to be there for him as best as possible but i just dont know how and i feel really bad about it any advice would be appreciated,3.0
40541,its claimed the manchester arena suicide bomber was rescued from the civil war in libya by the royal navy  before ,1.0
40542,freeddddoommmeeee lets party like a rock star guys  httpplurkcompxsouz,0.0
40543,cant wait to see hangover  it looks hilarious haha ,0.0
40544,all in the relationship you would be sad saying id get tired of you eventually yet youre the one who got t ,2.0
40545,dianamusic pancakes ll have funnnn  xxxx,0.0
40546,  claui amp i lil sis i miss you ,2.0
40547,uh whats that  hardly any yoga classes this weekend  ok then time for a haircut then,2.0
40548,awwthe weathers not gonna be so good this weekend   i wanted to take the boys out too ,2.0
40549,i am becoming more depressed by social media i joined reddit to get some relief but instead i am becoming more depresseday be i post anything awkward but thats my choicei dont know why people ahow me hatred on my posts and at tge end i always delete my post thinking may be i have losted anything wrong or at the wrong place😔,3.0
40550,im driving myself crazy with my future i dont know who i am anymore in high school i had many friends i was in choir i loved to sing i was in all the musicals plays i was on the varsity dance team i was just really involvedbut two traumatic years after graduation here i am laying in bed completely lost i dont want to go into it too much but i lost all of my friends after they backstabbed me my abusive father ruined the relationship between him and i my precious puppy that lived  years passed away etc it was a really shitty end to high school and now im attending part time in college because i dont know who i am or what i want to study my self esteem is shot i have been diagnosed recently with major depression social anxiety and ptsd and im showing early signs of paranoid personality disorder and borderline personality disorder i guess im just really fucked upthe hardest part is what i want to do in my future i hate living in the house i grew up in because theres horrifying memories and damaged relationships here i think i want to go away to college but i have no fucking clue what i wanna do i got accepted to get my bachelors in dental hygiene at a uni starting this fall but itll be  years until i finish which scares me so much ill be  when i finish and honestly this is just a career i chose because the job outlook is projected to increase  its pretty good moneythe most sad part is when i feel torn and panicked about whether its what i want to do or not i get the question well what are your interests what do you like to do and i dont know those things i used to do in high school arent things i do anymore and i cant tell if its because im depressed and dont have energy or if i just grew out of it i dont have enjoyment in my life and i havent had it for the past two years real life sucks so bad ive even tried seeing a therapist but it didnt work i feel extremely hopelessmy biggest fear is that ill finish school and everything start my life and regret not finding what truly is my passion and be unhappy for the rest of my life what if college isnt for me what if i need to just live in an apartment with people and make music what if this college opportunity is the right way the pressure is eating me alive and it has been for  years living this way is torture,3.0
40551,just left guitar center bought an ernie ball volume pedal amp some strings going back soon fo sho forgot to buy bb a guitar strap tho ,2.0
40552,leaving the bay  had a good time with the ladies,0.0
40553,shiverss  love itttt,0.0
40554,summer time ball  i wish i was there ,2.0
40555,vickynanjappa he will eat more samosas in anxiety,1.0
40556,notoriousnessie awwwh and i wish you were here to give me those hugs i hate living a bazillion miles away from you carlos and marty ,2.0
40557,rt carriewetherald they need to have classes in high school focused entirely on mental health because some of yall dont know how to act,1.0
40558,ballet amp toofancy dinner tonight with relatives in town ,0.0
40559,so many things happening on july  and i dont know what to do  i want to do one thing more than the other but i cant,2.0
40560,asherosu lol no but it was a weird night ,0.0
40561,zsbcreations cool i cant  my legs are to short or to fat ,2.0
40562, datachump thanks for surprising me this morning sean i did a full double take whilst getting cawfeeeeeee  safe travels,0.0
40563,depression amp spiraling thoughts a little about mei am a  year old female i used to be a gym rat working out  days a week taught a class even im a musician an insurance broker crazy cat lady and love cleaningdecember  i made the decision to leave my husband of  years because we simply werent seeing eye to eye anymore i started dating someone very shortly after that i moved into my own place traded in my car and then started to get into some financial trouble balancing these things all hit me at once i stopped going to the gym couldnt even imagine playing my guitar or my piano the sight of a dish in the sink would throw me into a panic attacki have to wash two plates and fold clothes omg howmy dad over the course of a year has given me a total of  to pay off debts and just generally pay bills  last summer and  recently out of nowhere i spiraled into a depression ive had some pretty bad anxiety for awhile but as soon as he gave me that second loan i spiraled out of control with guilt which quickly turned into a severe depressionanxiety i have already gone through my  weeks of pto and more i cant go to work because i feel like i have the flu all the time and now im scared of being able to able to pay back the loan make rent etc every day of work i missed just made me feel worse but the thought of going made me crazy what is happening to me everyone is mad at me im such a disappointmentevery day is a struggle for me i love my boyfriend but i feel like my depression is pushing him away my coworkers are mad at me and you sure learn quick who your real friends are during a major life change  ive lost several friends over the past year and obviously my ex inlaws are all upset with me  understandable since i was the initiator of the divorce i also had to leave two cats behind which were my world sounds silly but they were basically the guilt just eats away at me i am one of those people that cant stand the thought of people being mad at me or not like me i cannot just brush it off or say screw it i care too much what people think people that dont even matter to me or have no significance in my life i think way too hard into the future and worry about everything that hasnt even happened yet its like im trying to control and protect my future self from getting hurt somehow but i dont even know what those things are so much so that this why ive been missing work because i was so anxious and depressed that i could not fathom eating which was making me sicki cant go to work cant pay my bills will get kicked out of my place my boyfriend will move on will lose my car will have to move back in with my parents and be lonely sick and sad forever i will just be known as that sick girl this is the way my mind spirals out of control on a daily basis ive seen a psychiatrist a therapist had multiple visits with my doctor so now the doctors bills are going to start piling on top of it currently i am taking  of zoloft which has been beneficial to me in the past roughly  but i stupidly decided to ween myself off of it around the same time i started going through a divorce like i wanted to prove to myself i could handle all of this on my own without the use of medications wrong i was also taking around  of ambien every night for sleep and it worked great for me i had no side effects whatsoever however i started to run out way to early i was sleeping a lot and napping so id break them into pieces to take naps the doctor became alerted to this during our last visit and refused to refill it for me which of course sent me into a literal tailspin and severe panic i was throwing up when i left the office because i was so distraught and still hadnt eaten my mind went reeling thinking how am i going to function and handle all of this stress if i cant ever sleep how can i work literally thinking i would die eventually from exhaustion and depression my psychiatrist then prescribed me  of remeron which seems to have been working ok but its just not the same i hate starting new medications i went through all the classic symptoms sadness anger etc my parents boyfriends parents my siblings boyfriend all started to become worried and concerned for me which made me feel worse i just feel like im going to run out of time as i keep saying basically that everyone around me is going to abandon me before i have a chance to healthis week im back at work and have been sleeping somewhat better and doing my best to stay positive and just focus on work pushing past the feelings and just trying to enjoy my life day by day instead of trying to fix everything of course my mind is still reeling and im still not feeling great but taking baby steps does anyone relate to any of this thanks,3.0
40564,my cell phone updates dont work  ,2.0
40565, yum im half greek so i love anything mediterraneanexotic ,0.0
40566,have been asked to tweet what i am doing right now  scratching my foot ,2.0
40567,rt mikebates flotus is talking about mental health today shes an authority on it as she is on internet bullying,1.0
40568,agh work sucks i need to be back in at  am and theres no way in hell ill be able to sleep before midnight ,2.0
40569,chesterbear fuck just seen your message  is he still not eating    yeah no worries about the doctors,2.0
40570,stbjenny perhaps i was too rough on it     the new mixer is a different color  bad ass black it looks mean,0.0
40571,mmeganmarie i almost decided to go to portland on saturday  found super good tickets  but i have no one to go with ,2.0
40572, you should make the biggest and baddest one ever ,0.0
40573,today is the day i cut my hair off ,0.0
40574,knowing his grandpa died is so sad for me i cant imagine how lonely he is but i hope hes just fine  sweetie p ,1.0
40575, sorry for double posting in meine ,0.0
40576,triciazlnet well teach you ,0.0
40577,eoutofm congrats sweetie just rely on you sweetie ,0.0
40578,and omg just to let you know there making toy story    with them cute little green aliens awww yayay  nighttt bbz xoxo stupid cunt,0.0
40579,the feeling of numbness honestly i use to think the whole idea of being numb was total bullshit when i went thru my many episodes of anxiety attacks i didnt believe something so magical could be true thats well ofc it happened to me before i continue part of me still believes that being numb is just many feelings into one therefore ur lost idk what im truly saying but thats why im here to ask who else goes thru it anyway i dont feel much anymore and it is killing me i want to have a purpose in life,3.0
40580,the lowest ive ever been i feel as though my heart like has been broken ive been dating this girl two days short of year as of this night  this beautiful girl my first love the only person ive ever met in my life that i truly loved everything was so great we were doing great its almost ironic ive been sitting in the dark listening to fucking bruno mars thinking about her for hours fucking bruno mars  i loved this girl we grew apart recently and i couldnt figure out why ive been very depressed about shit for a few months now i was in a dark place but i was beginning to crawl out of the fucking mud know i feel like i got pushed deeper down into the mud but now im face down fucking drowning in it i gave this girl my heart and she just threw it down even after her heartless end to our relationship i still love her id forgive her and take her back i love her so much  she always wanted to try smoking weed so i decided to have her smoke with me for the first time well it went great and we have smoked together a few times since but she became distant i kept trying to talk about the very visible problem between us now but she refused to talk about it well i found out from her friend who dates my best friend that she told all her friends that she decided that im too ugly for her to date that im no longer good enough and that she now plans to date another guy because he is a pothead she told her friend that she was gonna date this new guy just to use him to get free weed im broken i poured my heart out to her and if breaking up with me wasnt enough she decided to kick me in the balls and fuck up my confidence by saying im too ugly for her i never wronged this girl i did anything she asked because i was head over heels for this girl she was my first true love i saw a future with her i wanted a future with her like i said earlier ive been going through some deep shit recently and i was just starting to crawl out of it but now im deeper then i was before ive spent the last couple months trying to convince myself that i should continue that im worth the air on the earth i wanted to disappear for months and hiding behind a smile got so tiring no one knew what i was going through ive been raised in a family in an environment in a town that men are supposed to be masculine and never need help so i was afraid to seek help i thought i could get over it all i even planned on killing myself one day when i got home i had enough of this constant shit and decided it was time to go i got home and almost did it i dont know what stopped me but id been getting better since that moment i guess i saw light and decided to walk towards it instead of killing myself but now i feel worthless and not good enough for anything i dont want to feel like this im fucking broken and i dont want to become filled with hatred i still want to love i still want to be a good friend and a good son but i dont know how i can continue how do you continue when you have to hide behind a fake smile all day pretend to laugh and be happy when your not okay when you just want to listen to music and be alone in the dark i just need help please someone read this and help me tell me something give me some advice i dont want to kill mused but i dont know what i will do if i continue like this i cant keep feeling like this i feel sick and i cant eat i just want to disappear i want something to change in my head why do i feel like this and why can i change it please help me,3.0
40581,aww i may have to give my free ticket to see adam buxton in his new sitcom away cos of work experience  nooooo,2.0
40582,a run and a swim this am meeting training with robyn then the dreaded annual   quotlady doctorquot appointment ,2.0
40583,i wanna be alone in school throwaway acct im a junior in high school i have been depressed for  years now but now is the worst its ever been im usually a person who relies on other to keep me happy and being alone is the worst feeling however lately i just wanna be alone not text anyone not talk to anyone nothing idk why but i just do im failing  out of  classes right now because im too lazy depressed to do any work  anyways i just want to be alone in school now im not a popular person but i do have a decent amount of friends and acquaintances honestly idek what im trying to say rn but i was just wondering if its a reasonable solution to ask a counselor if i can voluntarily go to iss for a few days so i can be alone i know it might seem dumb but its the only solution i can think ofim sorry for the poor structure of my post i just didnt have much time to type thanks in advance,3.0
40584, nope just doin background ,0.0
40585,monicas not a loser ,0.0
40586,  i suuuupeeer duuupeeer miiiissss theeem mis u guys ,2.0
40587,tommcfly omghow hot was it last night   i fancied that coke that came with pizza lol  tbh i think  did,2.0
40588, take me with you ,0.0
40589,cakey  and hello there  massage oil honestly i am shocked  x,0.0
40590,im just getting my feelings off my chest i dont know what the hell is wrong with me and i dont really like it so i am just gonna type some of it outi had been dealing with depression last year and after some changes in my life and numerous sessions of therapy and medication i had started finally feeling better i became a flight instructor this year and am now working on building time in hopes to fly corporately it made me so happy to complete this difficult process and it makes me cry almost thinking how happy my mom and dad are for me so i know i want to continue living but fuck this just sucks long story short i met a girl that works the front dest at the fbo that i am out of and let myself get way too attached and made a career decision that revolved a good bit around her just the other day thoughts of killing myself flooded back into my head just like the old days im not entirely sure what triggered them to come back i wasnt prepared for it and it is a little bit frightening to be back in almost the same spot as a i was last year last night i told this girl how i felt about her and the feelings are not mutual this has now made me feel like a ticking time bomb im so fucking angry at myself for making a decision that revolved so much around one person but anyways i just really hope all these fantasies of killing myself end soon because just like you all know its exhausting to be sad i know this post is a mess because i am running on about  minutes of sleep but i gotta get this shit out because not my family or my friends know the position i am in again with my mind,3.0
40591,does anyone else really struggle on sundays i have ok days and bad days but sundays come from the deepest part of the void i contemplate amd sometimes carry out self harm regret choices in the past and question the now does anyone else go through this how do you handle it,3.0
40592,rt snapchatprobbz stressed calls mom happy calls mom anxious calls mom sad calls mom excited calls mom annoyed calls mom scar,0.0
40593,subversivejake ennieardi i hope someday you grasp how truly astonishingly sad this all is,0.0
40594,try to find something bigger than yourself and build up your life from there ive been suffering from depression and anxiety almost two and a half years now with no sign ofgetting better but i have found between therapists and my own experience that were not strong enough to beat depression as individuals we have to find something bigger than ourselves somethung meaningful like an art form your family nature evolution a truth and once youve found that truth its only uphill the real challenge is believing that truth and thats what im working on right now but i think a good first action is trying to find something bigger than ourselves and that it is completely true just trying to share my experience and helping others in the action,3.0
40595,terryfree yes unfortunately but did have a day off yesterday and got another on friday so its a  day week ,0.0
40596,suicidal thoughts whenever i feel down or sad i always have this thought of killing myself but at the same time i remember that i have a debt to the people around me like my parents for taking care of me up to this point and that prevents me of taking my thoughts into action so i thought that in the future ill just settle first my debt to them then ill kill myself am i ok,3.0
40597,i overtook  at swimming teehee even the girl who was second in the group so i came  again  sorry to boat just really happy x,0.0
40598,tracecyrus   please start believing in clothes ,0.0
40599,annemjw oh sweetie  at least its over,2.0
40600,i dont know anymore every single day is a struggle to get out of bed and go to class my room is a mess my personal hygiene is lacking and it feels like all i can do is scroll through the internet on my phone a part of me wants to do better and not feel like a disappointment to everyone in my life but i just have no motivation to do anything i just feel like im a burden to everyone around me with my constant mental breakdowns and leaving things laying around,3.0
40601,im gonna head to work then from there to work again well wish i wasnt working  i want a lazy dvd day ,2.0
40602,not really sure where to go with this me and my wife split in november and im mourning the loss of a kid i never had we were married for  years together almost  years now  we have one beautiful little girl  we still live together too  before people suggest we actually move out trust me  i would if i could  neither of us have the funds to do that  we live in ny and we are stuck in a lease for our apartment  as soon as she can find an affordable place she will move out and i will probably have to rent the room out in my apartment  it sucks but it is what it isim not okay with the split but ive been trying my best  its hard when you still live with them and love them and have a desire to make it work but the other just doesnt have any of those things  but i have been feeling a greater sense of loss that i couldnt really explain before till this past friday when i found a note i had written her before the split  we were talking about having another kid and i got very into the idea so the note was me talking about how into the idea i was and had names for the new baby  i found it and just started to cry and havent really stopped  i find myself in tears throughout the day  im mourning the loss of our relationship but im also mourning the loss of a kid that is never going to happeni feel so alone  i cant tell her  ive already tried patching things with her and she has shown no interest in fixing this she just wants the split and has been moving on without me  its hard because i saw a longer life with her  i still see her as my lifes companion  i dont know how to move on  how the hell do you move on when you live with the person youre trying to move on from and why was it so easy for her  i feel so unloved and forgettable  ive been pushed deeper and deeper into a state of depression since i realized this and i dont know what to do  ive done therapy ive gone to  doctors for several sessions and left each time feeling worse than i did before i went in hence the multiple therapists trying to find the right one  ive had a couple best i can describe them are panic attacks in the bathroom so she couldnt see me  i dont want to tell her  were in a decent place together and ive already tried to reconcile before and the last time i promised her i would leave it alone  ,3.0
40603,i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at  its been almost  years now i always read that depression usually shows up during teen years but i developed major social anxiety issues during primary school but as much as i try to forgot things just a slight reminder will make me crack up and feel like im dying inside in  i almostfailed english my exams because i just couldnt do any work not because i was distracted but because i kept thinking everything is pointless all for nothing a single life isnt gonna change anything so why try so hardbut now in  because almost every teacher reported that i was sleeping in class even when im not tired i was taken to a doctor and they diagnosed me autism i agree that im on the spectrum but when ever i try to bring this up with my parents they just say that the doctor diagnosed you teachers dont even treat me normally now i would notice that they would speak rough to someone and speak to me like im  so whats there solution put me on adhd medication even though i dont have it i mean sure it makes me work but i feel weak my hands and whole body shakei just dont really know how much more i can take i have friends but i dont feel any happiness around them i just hear myself screaming go away and leave me alone i just wonder at what point at what time did certain events make my life so miserable,3.0
40604,looking for encouragement so i have my next therapy appointment tomorrow morning therapy was really hard for me last week though like really hard last tuesday i told my therapist that i cut kind of deep which i didnt think was too bad but she was worried and made me come up with a safety plan and meet again friday on friday we talked more and she mentioned that she didnt think their model of therapy they use there was working for me and that i might have to look into outside help from what i heard from other people that hurts enough normally but then i also freaked out bc i see her for free through my college and cant afford to pay for therapy she does know thatwell she made me promise not to kill myself before the next appointment and i tried to on sunday i felt so hopeless now i feel a bit better im still here but im so scared to tell her idek if i should but i just want help thats what im going for right i want it but my family cant know im depressed or in therapy and im scared if i tell her ill be hospitalized my dads birthday is on saturday my family has plans and i dont want this to disrupt my life but i realize that dying would really disrupt it so i want help but im so scared to tell and dont know if its even worth itadviceencouragementjokesanything please sorry if this is rambly my appointment is at  tomorrow and maybe waking up to replies will calm me down i hope,3.0
40605,rt mystylesbutera hamille broke up aw thats sad alexa play they were never together in the first place by me,2.0
40606,nuttychris im sure youre not thick  and yes beauty and the chris lol  bet youd love that,0.0
40607,is in love with montreal but missing matt ,2.0
40608,bigwhiteseth denisevlogs emptyisawesome shaycarl new twitter guise  did ya miss me,0.0
40609,  did or how i see my friends do as well as lobbying for changes in how we as a society approach mental health like including it ,0.0
40610,great another paycheck another concert ticket  after mileys concert im done for a while i really need to save for a cruise,0.0
40611,jejeooh where will you watch confessions of a shopaholic ate jeje ,0.0
40612,pastormark may god bless you and keep you neighbor ,0.0
40613,why is all my sad music playing back to back rn 😢😭😂😢😂😅😭😅😢😅😂,0.0
40614,they say i look yummy and they want a taste but i am a human not a sandwhich ,0.0
40615,oh no i wanted to order this special colour dsi from japan but just read their region locked  guess a plain black one it is for me,2.0
40616,dwdini hwaaaaaa mimiiii kamu membuatku terharu  i really need someone to make me feel better tapi pasti bisa aaah sebel,2.0
40617,whats going to happen at the doctors office hi im sorry if this isnt the right place to ask this if so please let me know so earlier today i called the doctors office and made an appointment for next week to go in and talk about my depression and im really scared im just having this feeling that ive made a huge mistake about commiting to go talk to a complete stranger that ive never met before about my personal problems  for those of you whove gone to the doctor for this before whats going to happen at the appointment what kind of things is he going to ask me about im sorry if i seem kind of forward im just really nervous ,3.0
40618,scruffypanther still no luck   booo x,2.0
40619,i dont have a pic up  and i keep uploading one booo,2.0
40620,trying to find a better cheap flight to rapid city but my ff american northwest amp southwest dont fly there ,2.0
40621,late night movie and cuddling with the husband    cool httpgykdnet,0.0
40622,renegat �упер �па�ибо ,0.0
40623,ever wish you could turn back time i wish i could go back to my  birthday and go from there things werent perfect but id be a helluva lot better at life if i had the knowledge that i do now back then how far back in time would you go to start over,3.0
40624,i just made this for benhes gonna love it  rachel,0.0
40625,at my aunts eating watermelon ,0.0
40626, hah direct messages have a limit too i copied and pasted and it was  something ,2.0
40627,had a tiring weekend  could not even get enough rest  but still hoping to have good time ahead ,2.0
40628,not a good day for animals  a fawn killed by youths and  cows struck by lightning ,2.0
40629,just hanging at caro shopping around come down and hang with me ,0.0
40630,remoynagh where�re u buddy  have a great weekend   xoxo,0.0
40631,working on music  how r u guys doing ,0.0
40632,good morning ,0.0
40633,i take back what i said earliertonight was the best ,0.0
40634,mynameiseaz i was just playini apologize sir  ,2.0
40635,bingthecherry noway ,0.0
40636,and hearing kacey sing happy amp sad 🤠,1.0
40637,eveofmusicnart boo ,2.0
40638,ncmayhem i took the pens as well in the twtpool ,0.0
40639,ughhhh i just got a papercut   silver lining it may hurt like itch but it couldve been far deeper,2.0
40640,grimmers im more worried about your bare feet what about glass on the pavement ,2.0
40641,why doesnt twitter extend the number limit a littttttle bit until  atleast ,2.0
40642,rt lazymodel me whoa things are actually working out for memy depression ,2.0
40643,my blackberry is injured ,2.0
40644,dont mix alcohol and boiling water  my arm is burnt ,2.0
40645,commin back to la the fun is all over will miss new york ,2.0
40646,missed scalaliftoff today got some well deserved rest instead even prototyped a new griffon feature ,0.0
40647,deefybee congrats on the pregnancy  when u due,0.0
40648,missmonika its an epic fail on their part  boys,2.0
40649,lovinmyswagg me too i dont want to i like my old phone ,2.0
40650,krystlee hahaha you never know i have to be alert thats soo true haha but i dont recall ms but oh well i like facebook the most ,0.0
40651,i really do not want to go to work i hope this day goes by really fast ,2.0
40652,wishing i did not wake up at  am ,2.0
40653,hands hurt  blisters are no fun,2.0
40654,shout out to autumn   soulja boy tell em live live gt ,0.0
40655,idk what i am doing with my life i dont even know how to start this rly this past week has been weird it kinda hit me all at once been quite a rought phase with all the corona shit like all i have been doing is sleeping at  am while waking at  pm just to play videogames while listening to musics mostly about suicide or something similar like the thing is that this is litteraly the only thing i have doing last week nothing different the same loop its so exhausting but for some reason i keep doing the same shit even tho i cant rly change much tbhand this whole lockdown thing isnt helping either dont get me wrong i am definitly the guy that can be without a problems weeks in a row without leaving home but when my head starts going rly bad usually i would go for a walk to help it butbyeah i guess its true u only miss things when u dont have themtbh i am just done with everything but needed to let it out lol,3.0
40656,blackmoz awww im sorry ,2.0
40657,for whoever needs to hear this get up take a shower put on fresh clothes i just got out of the shower and forgot how good this feels ,3.0
40658,jazzyunknown haha sucks for you buddy aww were you sad  hahahahahah jkjk you know i love you,2.0
40659,good mornin twitter world ,0.0
40660,why is it that when youre not hungry you have plenty of food at home and why is it that the exact opposite is also true im starving ,2.0
40661,can someone dm me what time pushing daisies airs tonight wanna make sure i am back in time forgot to set my dvr ,2.0
40662,sunday traffic near dc is a nightmare working on getting over the headache ,2.0
40663,got a nice pile of work on my hands   revision  exams x,2.0
40664,its not a dampb song its a  bpm breakbeat tune called quotthe time is nowquot    get ready ,0.0
40665,apparently this bad feeling is founded ,2.0
40666,is gonna sunbathe will revising ,0.0
40667,jonathanrknight have a great night jon have some awesome jon time ,0.0
40668,off to work come shop around while im away  httpwwwdaisyspetalsetsycom,0.0
40669,why my name is caideni have just turned  and recently gone onto antidepressantswhywhy do i get up every morning i dont remember what my reason for doing so used to be get up breakfast school home dinner games bed that is what i used to be happy doing but that happiness is gone i cant enjoy games anymore i dont enjoy getting online and talking to friends the thought of having to pretend to be happy in front of these people i used to love spending time with is now daunting i have a few close friends that ive opened up to but now i cant bear to bring myself near them because i feel attention seeking i feel like shit all the timewhy did i get diabetes why am i constantly sickwhy do i ruin the small amounts of happiness given to mewhy cant i be normal again enjoying the simple thingswhy do i thinkwhy cant i sleepwhy mei think i might end it soon i cant see the point,3.0
40670,oh yeah got rocketed the other night interesting timehiding under the picnic table haha with a hunky british soldier coalition forces ,0.0
40671,mrskutcher alot of time the food that is thrown away is still edible it is has just surpassed the sell by date ,2.0
40672,jpreston  drake is good shiz and ps you are a bit late ,0.0
40673,tomorrows monday   ,0.0
40674,cant sleeep fuck i keep thinking about if i pass or fail this drug test ,2.0
40675,shawnieora hehecall for help cpr or crawl to the rice pudding and just endure the pain ,0.0
40676,bored now and my eyes hurtjust started a painting and needed a break ill paint more tomorrow painting makes me happy ,0.0
40677,falling asleep then having to wake up and drive is not nice ,2.0
40678,greek cousins are a lot of fun but since i dont really understand them theres a lot of smiling and saying neh greek for yes ,0.0
40679,nothing better than someone telling you youre not depressed just lazy explains why i havent killed myself yet,3.0
40680,more than a third of teenage girls experience depression new study says  the washington post ,2.0
40681,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
40682,rt kaveriexpress i dont know anything about the history of nimhans but whoever felt there should be a giant governmentrun institute fo,1.0
40683,i have three cuts on my hand from opening a gatorade bottle ,2.0
40684,its not raining as hard as i thought ,2.0
40685,three kidlets handed over alive my work here is done and looookee there its almost beer oclock ,0.0
40686,i hate it when people come between two good friends and tear them apart ,2.0
40687, he was callin me fat insted ,2.0
40688,fome fome fome fome fome fome ehehehehe ,2.0
40689, hahah its kind of the same as adelaides except a bit bigger ,0.0
40690,ddubstweetheart yeah apparently the stomach flu is going around my office ,2.0
40691,but boy do i regret it all i wanna do is throw up ,2.0
40692,is it sad how happy the sight of millions of books makes me maybe so but i was in total heaven this morning ,0.0
40693,anyone sad but lowkey glad theyre not invited to things a lot of my friends are back for winter break and ive received invites to come out and hang but would always make an excuse because i have no energydepression etc  and then they stopped inviting me out im sad that they dont invite me out anymore because theyd know the answer anyway but im also glad that invitations have stopped coming in because then i dont have to make up an excuse anymore anyone feeling this way feeling more isolated lately but thats literally just my own doing,3.0
40694,ah man ed mcmahon died       i always loved star search,2.0
40695,not sure if ill reach my goal of be davidarchies best friend ,2.0
40696,kalpenn best of luck with your white house endeavors so unbelievably envious thanks for your awesome portrayal of a great character ,0.0
40697, apparently not since i cant spell did not died ,2.0
40698,sorry kids im just not into it today ,2.0
40699,michaelalacey lunch sounded fab house full of teenagers sounded familiar and hope you enjoy your barbeque ,0.0
40700,suckamc ryanlackey i wish i had cool pictures of myself ,2.0
40701,large gender gap in firstonset depression disproportionately affects adolescent girls ,2.0
40702, work up at  it was bliss but back to work tomorrow  enjoy your weekend,2.0
40703,sitting on the patio with margaritas and listening to the gulf in port aransas  ,0.0
40704,hope ya all have a blessed saturday im off to work then to a friends birthday tonight god bless ya all   ,0.0
40705,jamesamichael  so you laying the track or what    ,0.0
40706,evilweasel yay have had an awful week ,2.0
40707,so my mom gets a bmw  im like wtf but its gonna end up being my first car ,0.0
40708,  one of the many views from my table at the sundiali went for the scottish salmon it was amazing ,0.0
40709,shanedawson so how many videos have u made by now like a million ,0.0
40710,topaztiger hi jenny  happy friday to you i am very lucky my business manager is a lovely lady lots of giggles amp vproductive ,0.0
40711,the preepaaa its almost ends ,2.0
40712,memory loss cloudy mind does any of you feel these as well my memory loss has been increasing lost so much of my memories also have a constantly cloudy mind cant continue my thoughts most of the time i wanna know if anyone else have these so we can talk about it,3.0
40713,julieshelley ,0.0
40714,urgh stress tgk drama time 😂,2.0
40715,chaoticbarb i am stumped  should rewatch the video fitfam bluebox,2.0
40716,tiaralaniece i miss those days ,2.0
40717,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
40718,i just checked the weather and im not doing anything today ,2.0
40719,willdonovan angusbooker yup  appears to be a combo of turbulance lightning and a massive electrical failure ,2.0
40720,great hospitality bulgarian banitza and refreshments feel good now off to the hotel and the swimming pool ,0.0
40721,i hate that alyssa doesnt eat because i feel like an inconvenience when i need food ,2.0
40722,sending sunny sunday wishes to all   having breakfast on the sunny terrace lifts the spirits looking forward to a frenzy day ,0.0
40723,dailyspud definitely not  paid professional ,0.0
40724,combating feelings of depression and loneliness check out this video ,2.0
40725,binit copuldnt get house link on site u told me ,2.0
40726,rwsparkle yes and i will report back full details as a proud smart girl  hope he gives out some of that candy like in his pics  lol,0.0
40727,mileycyrus   i wish i was there ,2.0
40728,tinkabellastar lol hell yeah ,0.0
40729,wedomestic ,0.0
40730,melabruzz hhaha i am studying math  boo youuuuuu ,2.0
40731,tommcfly yes tom you are a bad man ,2.0
40732,cakesosamy im not complaining ,0.0
40733,mdm teo is so naggy and shes getting on my nerve arghhh ,2.0
40734,my story hello everyone i want to share my story to free myself here if u dont want to read please skip it thanksi am  and this is my story i was pretty chubby u can see it on first pic and i wanted to burn that fat and get fit so i started to go to gym i trained really hard and went from  to  and built muscles then i got crush on a girl and i asked her out she rejected me politely but i got a little sadness then half a year passed and i found another girl i really like i also asked her out and she also rejected me and i got depressed from that point my darkness started i was  kg and went up to  i was big fat pig playing video games and ate and didnt cared for anything that period lasted  year after that i got a little better and little happier and started to train again i am now at  and want to go down  months ago i asked other girl to go out very nicely and she rejected me politely also now i am also lifeless nothing to think about cant even play games just want to sleep as much as i can and wait my life to end my personality type is istj and i am very introverted so the girls i asked was really hard for me i was looking to find really what i want but they didnt wanted to go with me my reason for depression is lets say girls i am still virgin and i never had girlfriend so when i find a girl i like i need like  months to get strenght to ask her out i think i will never find the right one i am very nice and careful but i dont know how to speak and i lack confidence so much sorry if i made grammar mistakes english is not my native languagehttpsimgurcomaebxxenutldr i was fat started to train got pretty god looking asked few girls i really liked to go out they rejected me i really got depressed and got even more fatdo u know what is ur reason for depression can it be solved ,3.0
40735,silly question but i have to make it please dont take this like a prank joke or whatever im  and i really need to write this and share it so basically this new year started very low to me sorry my english too i quit weed alcohol i take benzos for three years because of my anxiety but somehow i feel very sad at least when im alone i was visiting my friends these days and everything seems ok but i feel very empty inside i can eat i can sleep i can focus on some things now and then my question is am i sad or this is some introduction for a future depression i dont want to kill myself or anything and i didnt hate me but i need someone to tell me whats the big difference because i feel sad before of course but what im feeling right now its something else anyway like i say i know a lot of people struggle with depression so bad and maybe what happens to me its very stupid but i need to ask thanks,3.0
40736,wakeup go hug your mother ,0.0
40737,cant close a deal for shit today most non triumphant ,2.0
40738,kgn marshal ,2.0
40739,this wednesday im going to arizona ,0.0
40740,litebriteac lmfaooooo awwww y she was mad niggas jus be craccin jokes it be all fun and games tell her i apologize  lol,2.0
40741,i hate waiting for downloads to finish ,2.0
40742,chipped my cute nailpolish in the pool  sorry big toe,2.0
40743,comparing urself to others is d root cause for feelings of unhappiness self blame amp depression,2.0
40744,watching child mummy sacrifice i missed some of it though ,2.0
40745,rt lullabbies ventletter to anxiety ,2.0
40746,trying hard not to be depressed sometimes you try so hard and do everything to rip depression out of your life or to at least forget it you try so many times they tell you to fake it until you make it so you hang out with friends read write workout learn a hobby focus on the bright side you try so hard to put up a good front but no matter what you do no matter where you reach and how much you achieve you will always be dragged back to that dark spot sometimes even a darker one so you stop trying because youre afraid that trying hard will not change anything just like the last time that you will be reminded of who youre and that will make you even hit the ground harder i know that a lot of you feel the same way i do too please forgive me for the negativity of the post,3.0
40747,im in the bathroom trying to pee in the stall next to someone taking a shitshe smells so bad my bladder is shy ,2.0
40748,rt babytigerkth vs grandfather passed away and hes with the member of bts in the funeral today in daegu i love you 💜 youre such a,0.0
40749,rt  fear is not real it is a product of thoughts you create fears anxiety mentalhealth mindfulness ,1.0
40750,karmadillo hmmm  not good ,2.0
40751,rt  surround yourself with people who motivate you demand the best from you and are good for your mental and physical healt,0.0
40752,on that note  i do not feel missed  ,2.0
40753,gonna miss the jonas bros on the today showal roker ,2.0
40754,what do i do if someone says that theyre having an anxiety attack,2.0
40755,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
40756,ughh sleep i no has it like all of us ,2.0
40757,stday ugh i hate that too  ,2.0
40758,rt yikessamira sad ,0.0
40759,rawr i have unlocked blootooth  on my itouch but the linux btserver is written to exclusively exclude the itouch rawr,0.0
40760,ryankeely i thought i saw you dancing in dallas tonight  i was very disappointed it wasnt you ,2.0
40761,bipolar i have been taking prozac to face my depression and it worked like magic at first until it didnt i doubled the dose and it worked until it didnt my mood goes up and down erratically within a day week month anyone have any experience,3.0
40762,rt fishinahat socialistdawn jamesp that would be ironical amp rather sad for the younger royals who it is quite clear are proeu  m,1.0
40763,im exhausted im venting ive never been formally diagnosed because of the nature of my jobitd be a careerender but at some point though i dont want a diagnosis because i dont really want anything to be wrong id like to know what went wrongwhats going wrong in my head this has been going on for years and i dont know what its like to have normal non selfdeprecating thoughts i dont know what it is to be a confident content person i keep going because thats whats expected of me i fear failure so i try not to fail and i dontpublicly  everything people can see looks goodbut my personal life matches my brain my house is a mess bills go unpaid even though i have the money car repairs go unfixed i cant find the life force to make it to the gym i cant even walk the dog im tired all the time and its a crippling tired i want everything to stop my thoughts are starting to scare me i just need life to pause for a bit so i can catch up im so overwhelmed ,3.0
40764,  this is what i get to spend my afternoon with ,0.0
40765,vensir  nausea hello im hoping someone here can give me a little background into their experiences with vensir after many years avoiding antidepressants in favour of trying to pursue life changes no alcohol consistent exercise ive reached a turning point despite my exercise regime and my avoidance of alcohol ive found myself in a terrible place mentallymy gp has been very very supportive of me over many year and finally on friday he felt it was time to try something differenthe has prescribed me vensir  i started taking them yesterday and was immediately hit with the most intense nausea i spent most of last night unable to sleep this morning i took my second tablet and the nausea is just everpresenti wondered if anyone has experience of this medication and if the nausea eases off once youve been on the tablets for a whilei need something im just worried these tablets are rendering me incapable of getting out of bedthank you everyone💚,3.0
40766,rt mdmabsentminded alyssanerney centrelink good for you alyssa keep standing up for yourself many people give up because of the stre,2.0
40767,problogger turn it into the darrenrowse lifestream ,0.0
40768,i just started to write a suicide note might be worth a read now first i want to clarify that i have no intention of going through with anything ive been super severely depressed for a long time now around  years thats around the time i got out of jail had my own place good job a good group of good friends i might want to add that prior to going to jail i was in a relationship that destroyed me completly and had i had the means to do so would have taken my life anyways life was really great and then i started using heroin im  soon i was  at the time anyways things went downhill really quickly as i overdosed not long after getting into it did that for a couple months like  or  and i got a wake up call super long story theres so many things ill have to leave out of this post so i can save some time but i ended quitting cold turkey and shortly after went on a  week binge ended up crashing my car almost killing myself and my friends i blacked out behind the wheel fast forward a little  years ago from present day i met a girl and we had a vibe like ive never vibed with a girl before it ended up being a mistake and pretty much ever since then i find little to no enjoyment in my life i hate myself everything ive done people and family ive hurt theres so much regret and guilt pain and sorrow everythings become stagnant and i dont think i can ever get out of the rut that im in i barely go outside or go anywhere really i dont talk to people much and i barely see my friends or family anymore i just stopped leaving my house i feel disconnected from this world from all of the people the only reason im still around is because i know what it would do to my family if i were to take my own life because the thought of that brings me enough pain that the pain that makes me want to die becomes irrelevant starting to write a suicide note was a decision i made in order to vent but to actually dig into everything thats deep inside everything ive buried over the years all the secrets everything i got quite a lot of it written actually and it felt good to release all of what i held inside i think that was the first time ive actually cried since before going to jail  years ago in the note i came to realizations about myself and my life my place in my life the places that i do belong i was scrolling through this subreddit and to see everyone all the people that have alot of the same feelings as me it makes me so sad i wish i could help all of you i hope this post helps alot of you  here is something i wrote in my note maybe im just stuck in a loop searching for answers ill never find to questions ill never know obviously this is a paradox but i feel like it describes so much to me its like a state of nothingness a place where even i dont exist and i just want to say to whoever might be reading this please dont hurt yourself i understand the pain the suffering having nothing left all of it i get it but stay alive stay alive for you even if you feel like youre not even worth that do it harder for the past yous and the future you always here if you need someone to lend an ear thank you for reading,3.0
40769,dancingfool missing nectar i love lil cand that is so trueno chemistry and they were not in sync at all and i love me some shane ,2.0
40770,i got the day off at school as i got no exams but i have to do a bit of revision though  but at least ill have radio  with me,2.0
40771,do me a favor and lower your tone,0.0
40772,what are your outs so to speak for distracting yourself from depression hell if i cant resolve my problems i might as well start trying to find ways to ignore them gaming has been my go to but just curious what everybody else does depression sucks but if you can just turn your mind off for  hours and throw yourself into something else that doesnt involve thinking about life it is a great relief,3.0
40773, i just saw one of the new camaros quotin the wildquot for the first time cool ,0.0
40774, it should air on saturday night at  pm  and check out wwwharpersglobecom during the week harpersglobe,0.0
40775,not sure what to do so im  ive been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for around  years but i feel like ive had it my whole life i have a job as a waiter good amount of caring friends caring family i should be happy right everyday i come home from school feeling absolutely shitty i honestly just cant handle it its gotten so bad its been giving me headaches i dont want to tell my mom because shes already always worried about me she knows something is obviously wrong but just not how bad i dont want to tell even my closest friends because im just not their problem ive also been off and on meds for the past  years weed is the only thing thats helped me and my mom dosent support it at all if i cant tell anyone how bad it is what should i do,3.0
40776,rt  緑谷と轟でタッグ点灯 independiente quien gane estamos satisfechas porque apoyamos y dimos amor esta fue una travesía donde hubo,2.0
40777,isupportdemil  coolhere im on the winter ,2.0
40778,mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany ,0.0
40779,i been hated skooli wanna blow this shit upppppppppp and im hungry ,2.0
40780,picking up willow after school today taking her to eastpointe with me chillen with jcrook and oneil  want to join,0.0
40781,solving your depression be like ,3.0
40782, does that satisfy as an answer ,0.0
40783,im on my way to grand indonesia hangout with friends ,0.0
40784,urieldavid pinatugtog na tmh just now ,2.0
40785,antixonline  yup sure did it will be insane thereplus i really wanted to see my good bud digital dave who flew in from pittsburgh  ,0.0
40786,this feels so wrong ,2.0
40787,rt girlfriendnotes hate getting flashbacks from things you dont want to remember it feels like your heart suddenly drops and anxiety st,1.0
40788,just watched quotlife after tomorrowquotwow i feel so sad ,2.0
40789,and i have this classmate named david quotgt oh yeaah davidarchie they kept talking about you and cook ,0.0
40790, hello things not too bad thank yebut hoping for more improvements amp trying hard to make them so  how you better today,0.0
40791,annieheartmuzic oh its alrightim just wondering who u areu saw me at the show thomaybe i saw u nd know who u r ,0.0
40792,i finally saw rise of the lycans it was pretty good although i did miss kate beckinsale ,2.0
40793,rt   we need to talk  ,2.0
40794,  yay for getting errands done oh an assortment of outofmycontrol things topped off w a crap race haha ,0.0
40795,witzigturtle you getting your strength and motivation back i see  woohoo it will all work out i am sure ,0.0
40796,restin ny bk as had a bad weekend ,2.0
40797,mikeisneat i do i do ,2.0
40798,🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮psa dont be an alexis humphrey,0.0
40799,i really  want to meet my idol  miley cyrus  ,2.0
40800,didnt find a purse todayall purses here seem to be about to break and cheap med priced but wierd shiny w metal or hella expensive ,2.0
40801,rt  the owh mental health team were inspired today mentalhealthawareness iamdannistarr  thisismybrave ,1.0
40802,has to work tonight ,2.0
40803,khloekardashian im waiting for you to tweet me youre so beautiful youre awesome  hope you do reply ,0.0
40804, yeah the hawks definatly deserve it too bad the bulls didnt win ,2.0
40805,good morning people i am dying from hunger here ,2.0
40806, youre welcome  ,2.0
40807, not really  my sister has two friends over and theyre being obnoxious ive locked myself in my room  i took medicine tho,2.0
40808,oliverdog   artyy  nice cool dark effect on this pic mwahs bello,0.0
40809,  im casting my vote for lionel richey grew up on  a lady amp all those great songs ,0.0
40810,we heart our hive  q and not u  not much songs on blip  fredsablan ooh death from above   yay your  ,2.0
40811,im in the mood for fish and chips for supper havent had any for well over a year ,2.0
40812,islafisher i think not you are unique lol ,0.0
40813,dealing with depression and anxiety is way easier when you seek for help but im here to say that its not impossible to do it by yourself,1.0
40814,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
40815,living as an expat and saying goodbye i am an expat living in korea and today i said goodbye to someone i greatly greatly cared about being am expat people leave all the time but this hit me hard and i will leave soon and its all to much im shutting down spending my days crying and am immobilized by anxiety i miss my friend i feel like i am going to lose everyone and no one will miss me once im gone,3.0
40816,why did i survive just to never be happy im loosing grasp i dont know where to start so ill just give you the shortest version i can over the last two years ive  undergone a divorce when i was  my son who was  at the time  the divorce was not a mistake as we did and would have grown apart  i have full rights of my son and suddenly a lot more bills i then stupidly fell in love with a  that had issues of his own a year into that mess of a rthe elationship i find he is doing coke we lived two hours apart like i said it was a wreck the night i find the coke he loses it breaks several of my bones my son and i are then moved to a battered womens shelter we bounce around these  day shelter for  months before im some what healed i moe back to my hometown with my son find a roommate for a year i reabuild my life i date i do my own thing i fall in love again this time we move in together his family buy a house two streets down from us because they cant wait for our family my parents are dead neither died peacfully and this is my first christmas with out my mother who meant much more than my father to me the man im now in love with is at a bar for the third night in a row this has caused alot of tension with our relationship as he often get hateful when drinking the worst line being i can see why you got hit this after once again he was drinking and i asked about a female on facebook who was calling him ginger muffin  ive never really gotten over that one he always say that he says thing when anger and everyone does and i need to just get over it i cant now back to his parents who i adore or thought i did i fell in love with his family and his mother as well she always wanted a daughter i was told and always wanted a mother my man goes on and on about how close his mother and i are going to be and how great its going to be etc so thanksgiving comes and i was so sad there was no real family time we sat on couches eating for  minutes and left my depression gets worse now i know my nuclear family vision isnt going to happen in the depth of my depression while hes at the bar and im crying home alone again i decide to go talk to her i needed a mother this made it or break it time she then goes on the say she doesnt want that relationship that her son has never told her that i looked up to her or how much i wanted her there for our events she then goes on to say that its basically not going to happen their family isnt like that i try to talk to her about how lonely i am and how much im missing my family she goes on to talk about all the family members she has and that she cant relate because her family isnt dead ive come so far with my son i thought we were home and now i feel broken and just beaten down by life   prepost update he made it home stubling drunk   kept saying he loved me then went to taco bell   ive never felt so alone i have my son so i know i have a family but i want my mom and my nuclear family  just any family  im struggling and im loosing grasp of myself this post a wreck but so is my life i have go he will be home again soon ,3.0
40817,  im sorry  thats roughdid she live nearby,2.0
40818,happy  birthday to my alltime favorite video game  ,0.0
40819,mania is a whole different situation 😒 its not like a break from depression,2.0
40820,i have a bad sleeping schedule helpppp ,2.0
40821,floppyarms why dont i you mean yeah only just thought of that always forget ,0.0
40822,therealzyannah aiight  i got you  ,0.0
40823,dayneshuda great post on logo design i can relate to much that is said been there done that ,0.0
40824,astralrae i wish i could my parents dont allow it ,2.0
40825,i did a thing today was an emotional and wonderful day  of cleaning up after my depression i said goodbye to my couch which was a lot more emotional than i expected my couch is my depression nook the place i curl up into when i nestle into my depression when we moved it to clean boards of junk and garbage tumbled down and around me covering about half my living room i cried today we chucked my depression nook into the dumpster i can breathe again my living room looks like a whole different room as well as my childrens room the woman who is helping me clean my apartment is a woman from a facebook group in my area called people helping people and she spent hours deep cleaning my apartment giving me tips and hacks on cleaning and maintaining my house no charge out of the kindness of her heart and shes coming back tomorrow to finish the house i havent felt this happy and at peace in weeks,3.0
40826,oatmeal  blach ,2.0
40827,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
40828, also that sucks about your bike  i live right near that park,2.0
40829,nothing relaxes me more than a good book to read while sitting in the sun by the sea shore its my kind of season ,0.0
40830,s car broke down yesterday ,2.0
40831,tired stayed up too late simming but ready to sim some moreerr i mean go to work ,0.0
40832,seankingston i lve tha new song ,0.0
40833,harisn and these has been not a single drop of rain here in karachi since long ,2.0
40834,i wish someone would feel sorry for my filthy car and spray it down with a hose ,0.0
40835,dannyroberts wow this is a stunner my fav ,0.0
40836,damn internet wont work  stupid planned power outage,2.0
40837,i  fdmonlines new single wwwmyspacecomfdmonline ,0.0
40838,weird tingly feeling that comes with depression ive been going in and out of depression slumps for the last couple of weeks  various things in life triggering but its some of the worst i think ive ever experienced which to be fair is still pretty mild compared to a lot of people  but ive been noticing this weird feeling sometimes when my thoughts get particularly dark  its difficult to describe but its almost like a tingling sensation through my back and shoulders neck and head  its like getting goosebumps but in a bad way  like a rising panic or dread and i seem to be fighting off tears when it happens not sure if thats connected or a coincidence  im doing a terrible job of describing this but has anyone experienced this,3.0
40839,i cant imagine a scenario where im happy in life like genuinely happy and content,3.0
40840,windupbird its gonna be  degrees tomorrow ill make sure to wear my hoodie ,0.0
40841,iamdiddy cleaning cuz its too nasty outside ,2.0
40842,sozwitschert oh well i have a million spambots too but even they dont talk to me ,2.0
40843,thinking about college and not doing my homework lol ,0.0
40844,first day of summerfest bon jovi tonight too bad i cant see them ,2.0
40845,ransomlinder and yet the anxiety is fierce 😬,2.0
40846,palmbeachlocatr yea im getting that crap too same pic many different accounts ,2.0
40847,just watching hollyoaks omg ,2.0
40848,i want out i am sitting on a plane about to take off and i almost hope this plane goes down i want out,3.0
40849,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,0.0
40850,ebassman i want to hug you ,0.0
40851,why do i even try ive been looking into different ways since i was  years old to find a way out of my household and and try and find a better life and countless dead ends and options that dont work i finally found one emancipation but it turns out due to me needing parental consent but they wont give it because they want me stuck here in hell with their bullshit chaos and misery they inflict on me i just want to go and ive run out of options and i feel i should just end it now i cant take it anymore it is pointless trying because it always backfires but yeah i just wanted to let this out,3.0
40852,jodikicksass  whocangetit jodikicksass there  that was easy  ,0.0
40853,andreamore i loved that albuminxs was pretty special if the ew tag applies to you as long as you are having funis all fine ,0.0
40854,sieyeyai heck in other news your hair is getting longer and more voluminous ,0.0
40855,where on earth has the summer gone im absolutely frozen its ping down with rain come back mr sun ,2.0
40856,rt spoonieroomies wesellmoney bookmusicartist musicbookpro jilliemary janetnestor medibasket fightforyourdx therebelpatient ,2.0
40857,rt adrowningsouls open letter for someone who battling depression  a thread 🌹,1.0
40858,go to bus ciao c u evening ,0.0
40859,i slept entirely too long on my nap but not long enough at the same time ,2.0
40860,u guys are too funny i wasnt the one on the date i proooomise but im telling her all ur tweets ,0.0
40861,rattgirl sweet  well have to coordinate stuff ,0.0
40862,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
40863,fahrbot tracy morgan and bruce willis in a movie directed by kevin smith ,0.0
40864,ive wanted to die for like three days straight i think about suicide at least once a day now thats all i wanted to say ,3.0
40865,mberthelot relax ,0.0
40866,i dont think im ever turning my iphone off again ,2.0
40867,i always thought people who had nightmares on a regular basis was overreacting but now the tables have turned and i cant shake off my nightmares ironys hit me and now im starting to become concerned with the nightmares im having quite frankly i dont know what to do either my nightmares always consist of an authority figure no one i know in particular but this authority figure was scary if you didnt do his will or stuck up for yourself it was like racing for your life and feeling helpless like no one would come to help my most recent nightmare was a hostage situation with the police not picking up the phone no matter how many times i rang them it went straight to answer phone i had to deal with this figure and do all sorts of nasty deeds for him and often fucked it up and with each fuck up the figure would threaten me with a cut across the throat and angrier than the last and i just couldnt wake up from it it was scaryi dont know why i could be having these nightmares but this is my  nightmare in the past  weeks which is way more than id usually have on a yearly basis spread across the year im starting to get concerned and i dont really know what to do i just want the nightmares to stop because i hate waking up with a heartbeat that sounds like itll burst out of my chest,3.0
40868,my cousin joind twitter almost  mnths after men d rate shes gaining followers shed surpass me pretty soon  being a she really helps ,0.0
40869,on las vegas blvd headed downtownlongest bus ride everon a saturday what was si thinkin ,2.0
40870,my parents arent going to my promotion ,2.0
40871,sophiefetish hey so i met lucy ,0.0
40872,is a happy camper again ,0.0
40873,i just broke up with my boyfriend and my depression is out of control so i have really bad depression in general ive been really depressed lately because of some other personal issues and stress from work and school but me and my boyfriend didnt have time for eachother and never talked or really hung out so i ended things i did not expect it to hurt so much id been  months clean from self harm and i feel so dumb for breaking it i cant stop crying and feel really suicidal i know it sounds stupid over a break up but i really love him in all my past relationships i saw the guys as replaceable and had no problem leaving them but i really saw this guy in my future i was going to propose to him in  months and days before he asked me not to break up with him and i still did i feel like a horrible person and i havent craved heroin in almost  years and it is hitting me like never before i dont know what to do,3.0
40874,first day at therapy worried about suicide watch due to suicidal past i tried to kill myself two weeks ago im in a better place not that much better hence the therapy but im definitely not suicidal anymore im afraid if i mention it to my therapist she will want to put me on suicide watch or something especially because im somewhat young   should i not mention it or is  weeks long enough ago ,3.0
40875, aw man mines didnt come with it ,2.0
40876,noooo dont want to work today  tomorrow off though woo,2.0
40877,just burned my lunch ,2.0
40878,housework ,2.0
40879,the worst part about having anxiety is when you have a good day instead of enjoying it you get anxious about where the anxiety went,2.0
40880,i feel like theres a huge weight on my shoulder anybody feel the same its really weighing me down im trying to live normal but that weight on my shoulder is saying not so fast youre  staying right here i feel slow sluggish unmotivated unexcited and like a zombie i know in my mind that something is wrong but that weight on my shoulder keeps saying no im keeping you right here,3.0
40881, awakewtf good morning n shhhit tweepswhateverim tired ,2.0
40882,kerriburn  koohyar realdonaldtrump potus maybe because hes a racist fuck who doesnt care for any ,1.0
40883,  another prof pic ,0.0
40884,w u know what do to when u see good pics  i will be waitingtho nothing will replace half nekkid rob as background on fone,0.0
40885,rt thenikqistina a good read i absolutely love this the writer expressed it so well ❤️🙌🏼,0.0
40886,pink proper fan chessy but i freaking love you hahahaha   hope your having fun on tour xxxx,0.0
40887,have a pic of harry connick jr strategically placed in my office for continuous inspiration and constant swooning  happyclam ,0.0
40888,what the hell i cant switch it back now  this sucks im stuck with these nasty bright green until i get back on a computer ,2.0
40889,bearskin airlines motto quotlet the bear take you therequot someone wake up the bear im not going anywhere ,2.0
40890,well not much is going on today counting down the days until i finally go on one out of four vacations my body is sore damn softball ,2.0
40891,dropped polaroid colorpack ii slowed with uplifted foot still hit the ground and shattered me  sad ,2.0
40892,i have a fever  with a headache ,2.0
40893,back in canada,0.0
40894,keep seeing folk driving with phone held at ear no one seems to bother if i walked into a pub smoking i would be charged not right ,2.0
40895, people want robert downey jr showcased add your signature too   ,0.0
40896,mslailababy  understandableeeeeeee,2.0
40897,bwalker man that didnt look good at all ,2.0
40898,how did you get over your break up ive been with my boyfriend for close to  years and weve lived together for most of our relationship we had happy times and bad times but a constant thing during the relationship was always his temper he shouts at me in private and in public his reason being that i trigger him when we fight he constantly choose to leave and be completely shuts down on me i will call and text him multiple times to work things through but he just switches off his phone and it paralyses me with fear i have no idea how anyone can be that cruel to the person they love i used to give up on my relationships very easily when i was younger but as an adult now i am trying so hard to make things work i feel that im doing so to compensate for my past relationships i know that a guy who shouts at you and constantly leaves you is not worth anything but i dont know how to leave any more each time i finally put my foot down and decide to leave he turns into a decent nice guy i have gone through so much with him i cannot physically function any more i have no energy or strength to do anything else i used to be a confident motivated young lady but now i just feel weak and sad all the time im so afraid to lose him ive made my whole life all about him yet time and time again he throws me away in a heart beat and i still run back like a lost puppy the moment he texts me does anyone have any advice or experiences to share on how you slowly got over someone thank you so so much im just trying to get through this on my own and to find strength again to love and cherish myself,3.0
40899, but i guess it could go either way  with the crap tv thats on these days reality shows  drama earns ratings ,0.0
40900,tko baby go pac man chillin w fams in markham always funnn ,0.0
40901,these memories are pulling me deeper into depression and i cant stop falling my life has always been bad at every turn something goes downhill and pulls me with it but recently its become even worse i never had a real childhood and now my newly formed adult life dwarfs all my previous misery entirelyevery day my life gets a little darker my mother no longer talks to me and kicked me out months ago because her husband doesnt like me i left my mentally abusive girlfriend at around the same time and feel so fucking desperate that i wish i could go back to her she even appears in my dreams to haunt me i no longer have any friends or anyone who so much as checks up on mei just feel like i cant take it anymore i am only twenty years old and there is nowhere to go but downevery day i want to kill myself but even then there are still my young nieces and my nephew that i cant just leave behind in such a way i dont think that i can live like this anymore i just feel so hopeless even though i am not yet broken,3.0
40902,had a crazy long day ,0.0
40903, i thought we were in first already ,2.0
40904,they have ,2.0
40905,zidapi my spelling is as bad as my drinking abilitys  have a good night,0.0
40906,my mum wont take me to the other next store to get the dress i want they dont have it in oldham in my size ,2.0
40907,has anyone else read the book lost connections by johann hari im about  pages in and its kind of shaking my whole worldview i am  years old and have been clinically depressed since i was  this book came out about a month ago and i ordered it immediately because the reviews said it was radically different from other books about depression i just got around to starting it and im a little shakenfirst the author completely blows up the idea that serotonin is the root cause of depression he says theres actually no scientific evidence that serotonin has anything to do with clinical depression second he says that antidepressants havent been proven to work and a lot of psychiatrists and researchers know this the research to get these drugs on the market he says is funded by pharmaceutical companies and they often do a lot of studies and only submit the ones that show the drug to have a positive effect people either tend to get better because they would have anyway like how youd get over a cold anyway or they have an initial boost probably from the placebo effect and then return to being depressed in my case ssris snris maois and ndris have done barely anything at all third he claims that basically everyone who is depressed has gone through some kind of traumatic life event in the year before looking back this is certainly true for mei was in  grade when  happened my grandfather died that year and my beloved pet cat fourth he claims that the presence of depression is actually a kind of grief stemming from being disconnected to some significant part of your lifeto other people to physical health to meaningful work etc and the way to overcome depression is to reform those connections easier said than done my guyanyway this book is completely flipping my worldview on what is causing my depression i have tried multiple antidepressants and none of them have worked leaving me feeling like i just had a faulty brain with stubborn neurotransmittersand now this guy is telling me that antidepressants actually dont help i cant tell whether im really angry at him or thankfulbut i keep researching serotonin online and it seems like a lot of places do say that serotonin might have something to do with depression so now im like maybe this guy is just making it all up to sell books i dont know the author has been accused of plagiarism before so i dont know how trustworthy he is on one hand i want to believe him because tbh im sick of antidepressants and they dont work for me at all and they never have and i just want to feel better maybe this means i can focus on other things to make my life better like moving to be with family or finding more fulfilling work and i can stop staying in a shitty situation expecting the antidepressants to make that bearable i mean i should have done that anyway but now i just feel like i have more permissioni dont know all i know is that my psychiatrist always asks me whats been going on in my life thats stressful i tell him and he just changes my dose and doesnt even suggest therapy and thats clearly not working but i dont want to stop taking antidepressants if they actually do have some effect but i dont want to keep taking them if they donti just dont know who to believe anyone else read this book or heard about it how do you feel about it ,3.0
40908,kristibice  aww yea i have a cat too stripes ,0.0
40909,ew super hit incense smell horrible i want my goloka nag champas ,2.0
40910,omg victor kim replied to me yes the victor kim ,0.0
40911,jaykpurdy cant wait to hear it ,0.0
40912,dont know what to do ,2.0
40913, its gone now babe i got really sun burnt today ,2.0
40914,getting ready to go to work mondays are suckish ,2.0
40915,i hate tow companys  someone was in my spot ,2.0
40916, yo praying for some anointing on your side of town ,0.0
40917,i cant sleep i can generally have a good day nothing spectacular happening but just an over all good day and feel preety good then the night comes and im left with my thoughts for two minutes in the blackness of night and boom i just feel so down about absolutely everything little things become so big to the point that i find myself quietly crying as to not wake up my wife who is my rock btw and i cant sleep ,3.0
40918,please help me understand this sorry long posti have been on my  zytomil for about  months now after trying other meds and changing the dosages ect found what works life has been goodive minimised the stresses at work had some good and serious chats with my bosses and the changes have been madeat home ive fixed up and attended to all the big issues we have had in our old house we bought leaks are sealed walls are painted shelves are up nothing is an issue there anymoreive sorted out my backlogged to do lists like my will insurances car retirement policiesso according to how stuff should be i finally at  have it all done but im on edge big time im waiting for something to go wrong its driving me up the wallim starting to find issues in eg the house were there arent any but any minor ding in a counter becomes a thing i will sit up till  to fix it even though its already been done cause i did it in the first placenow the issue is im dreaming about itheres the actual problemi dream im trying to fix something but there is no actual issue someone just says they are unhappyi look at it and go thats what i would have donei stare at it going maybe i could have done something different but no nothing looks wrong i recognise its my work still figure out if something is off but cant see itso when do you go the client is wrong versus you made a mistake you cant see,3.0
40919, no honor grade for me i was mad close too ,2.0
40920,i like to write poetry at night to help my hopes behind sharing this are for relatability i wake up and keep moving forward every day i go to therapy take meds and make positive moves but sometimes its never enough just know that youre not alone its come to this the time is nighdark motionless a tear a sighyou had it all what did you do your so dumb you fucking fool you made your bed of stone and glass strong but fragile itll never lastyou think youre smart you think your wise come lay with me no one will hear your cries let the blanket weigh down crushing your chestpanic ensues tired and weak is this your best take the pills grab the blade end it all watch it fade youre stuck in this cycle that you created its funny to hear how much its hated you give and give as much as you take your actions arent justified youre fucking fake positivity is there but this is stronger well find out soon if you can do this any longer remember that bed that one you made its time to lie in it i dont care if youre afraid the stones will hold but the glass will shatter pain and blood did it ever even matter so here you lie at long last maybe youll learn from your fucking past,3.0
40921,night all in twitland ,0.0
40922,good morning everyone just had pancakes and bacon for breakfast yum ,0.0
40923,jbmyworldxx what nooooo that means i missed it ,2.0
40924,my story of depression part  i was very confident girl but i had depression diagnosed  earlier due to bad company around neglect from friends neglecting my own emotions neglect from my crush and due to my reservation i got neglected from general candidates i tolerated cried alone i thought i dont deserve because i am reserved my self confidence lowered i thought to stay alone as my friends didnt understand me i cried  i shifted to a big room alone i locked myself whole day doing nothing crying palpitations and suicidal tendency going on around i was highly irritated and feared to seek helllp due to bad experiences i had  i developed depression i lost interest in every thing i gave my  final proff exam after exam i went to psychiatry opd for my checkup the doctor gave me  escitalopram no counselling i went in search of psychologist but i did not getafter that also nothing changed a senior working in psychiatry helped me and made me meet to a doctor but she said not to disturb her and the doc so i was scared to call them time passed medicine helped my symptoms improved but i couldnt not convey my feelings to my doctor in the fear of being judged and as we belong to the same medical community people are known to us then i told him i need psychologist he reffered me but the psychologist was not able to give me time years passed only twice the psychologist did session that also for few minutes the psychologist sent me to a psychological social worker but i didnt need her consultancy i needed psychology time passed i was on medicine benzodizapine helped me a lot i was a bit addicted because i felt very goodthough i remained irritated i lost interest in studies i needed some one who listens me and advice me i tried suicidal helpline i called them i talked but they seemed not trained i called life line kolkata aasra  and some helpline in delhi  they only use to listen no advice then i found icall psychosocial helpline it was very helpful i felt so inferior that i thought i dont deserve what my parents are doing for me the expenses because i am not performing welltime passed with ups and down whenever i use to face my crush the friends who made fun of me neglected me i got disturbed depressed and felt they are so happy and i am not no motivation  then once due to anger i broke my phone  i harmed myself then the doc started antipsychotic i thought i am not psychotic i wont have it because i didnt had knowledge in psychiatry  then later i had time passed once my psychiatry posting was going on we were said to see a procedure performed by the psycholgist pgts and faculties were also there with patients when the psychologist show me she shouted at me and said that she wont do the procedure that affected me very much i was very angry after that i told the incident to one of my close friend sattu she said go and ask her why did she behave like that with lots of patience though i was angry i asked her she said because i am about to do the same procedure on you so i didnt want you to see this i said ok but though due to her behavior i was very angry i was very disturbed by the way the psycholoist reaction i was in distress i went kolkata there within no time i got help actually mental health services are less here so i faced difficulties i was in search of  psychologist but i didnt get in my place going kolkata frequently for me was not possible  then i devloped hypomania i was diagnosed bipolar during that time i felt very high i talked to many people to be continued,3.0
40925,mikefoong whatis and when is shorties me  ,2.0
40926,why do i still feel like this ive been on so many different medications ive been to therapy i moved to a different state for a fresh start i met new friends all of this should have helped me but it really never did no matter what i do i just feel empty i dont know if im ever going to feel better what else is there even left to try i feel like my depression used to be better because there was at least the hope that things could change but now i know it never will,3.0
40927,nonexistance yknow i was thinking about sleepand how during it i just slip into a void of nonexistancewhere nothing matters and no thoughts enter your mindbut it only really lasts for a moment and then im back up and having to do thingsits wierd i like sleep overnight but i fucking hate waking up so ill stay up as late as possible so i dont fall asleep so i dont wake upsome days i kinda wish life was all like sleepwhere i dont existwhere no thoughts enter my mindwhere everything is just null and voidinstead of all these thoughts constantly entering my headabout how im uselessabout how i cant do anything rightabout how nobody really caresabout how i have nobody to turn toabout how nothing mattersand yeti cant stop feelingi cant stop feeling things even though they dont ultimately matteri just want this to stopi just want this to endi just wantto not exist,3.0
40928,mtv movie awards eminem performs   lauren says good bye on the hills   ,2.0
40929,rt  this is so sad alexa play when you look me in the eyes ,2.0
40930,dannymcfly hey you ,0.0
40931,lapp sorry to hear that no good ,2.0
40932,filmnerdjamie ive only seen star trek twice seeing quotupquot today but not in  since i was outvoted ,2.0
40933,pointgods sad 😔,1.0
40934,dianesunnycoast blip wont play my blips for some reason ,2.0
40935,they cooked spam for breakfast i dont eat spam im stuck with fried eggs ,2.0
40936,jacooba i just relized that ur pic is u and ur dog u found at petland we might go there today ill see if i can find quotfrenchyquot lol ,0.0
40937,rt minibn cest quand même sad que le pique de libido sois durant les règles,2.0
40938, isnt that a bit wrong though  pretending you want to leave what deal did you get im listening lol  you with vm also,0.0
40939,just met alvinyudistira  and i think he rocks already  do follow him for interesting and fast tweets,0.0
40940,eniize nice to meet you too ,0.0
40941,full of cold ,2.0
40942,back home tonight ,2.0
40943, she couldnt make it ,2.0
40944,praying for those affected by the loss of  ,2.0
40945,jms perfect youre a legend thankyou ,0.0
40946,i constantly feel like im not allowed to be upset ive had a long history of depression linked to my father and friends committing suicide but as of late i feel guilty for being upsetdepressed for no reason im  years old with two beautiful children  months amp  year old and i have a gorgeous fiancé everything on paper seems fine with my life apart from a couple of things but i still feel like i shouldnt be upset because i know others have it way worse probably doesnt make any sense,3.0
40947,jhawke hope the rest of the trip goes smoothly and also i got your mail zomg  ,0.0
40948,is wondering if her hubby is dying in this head  poor guy ,2.0
40949,dealing with depression or whatever i have so i am new to reddit and i dont quite know how everything works yet but i have been thinking about posting because i always read reddit about medications and depressionanxietybipolar to see others experiences and how they deal with themi have never been properly diagnosed well ive been to many different people and i have gotten many different diagnosises major depression bipolar schizophrenic so i have a lot of confusion within myself with my situation and its quite frustrating it would be helpful to know whats going on with me so i could deal with what i have going on as best as possible i guess im just ranting because i dont know i how to feel or what to do with anything i have going on i feel so debilitated on top of that i take medication which is another annoying and confusing process within itself having to figure what works for you and what dose works for you i take lamictal  right now but i dont know if thats too much because i feel like im having some cognitive issues like forgetting what im going to say mid sentence or have nothing to think of in general very blank but like i said very confusing because i dont know if its the medication doing that or the conditionmental illness that i deal with also sexual dysfunction is the worst im  so this is a issue for me when it comes to medications i never know how to feel about what im taking and when it comes to medication i am very impatient and freak out at the beginning when i start to feel all of the intial side effects when that happens ill self medicate and switch my dose by myself i know this wont help anything but ill have anxiety about it and just make a rash decisionsorry about the long post but i feel like i dont have people that deal with similar issues to talk about this with i feel like giving up a lot because i just dont know what to do anymore or how to fix myself or at least be a functional person ive distanced myself from my friends and people i love and feel like ive ruined my relationship with my girlfriend because of the crazyness that i deal with and in turn put on other peopleim lost and dont know what to do how do you deal or get out of this,3.0
40950,i genuinely dont see the point to living anymore recently my boyfriend broke up with me and it made my depression noticeably worse this is   because when i originaliy got depression only he was there and how hes gone it feels like i have nothing to live for i have resorted to self harm and i have even considered suicide now that i type it out it sounds ridiculous i just dont care anymore even the smallest thing seems like a huge chore the worst part is he blocked me on every social media now its  and i cant sleep because the only thing i can think of is how utterly meaningless my life is and that i should just kill myself help,3.0
40951,my latest body temperature  degrees f and im kinda cold  i have never been this sick before scared,2.0
40952,gonna get ready now wheeee ,0.0
40953,im a trans sjw snowflake and disgusting ugly fat fuck who cant lose weight what is the point in being alive literally the title i cant find any clothes that fit me let alone hide my ugly saggy tits and huge butt im so disgusting just by looking at me you can tell that its not normal for a human being to be this big its not normal for a female human being to be this big yes the morbidly obese woman knows she needs to lose weight she cant she can only think of food that is all she lives fori will never lose weight i will never be able to take male hormones i will never be able to get rid of these ugly fat boobs i have absolutely no reason to keep existing because i will never get better i cant get better im so retarded i cant get myself to follow a diet for longer than a few months and everything wrong in my life makes me want to kill myself why not do it then ill gladly join the  ha ha ha so edgy and funny fuck life i wish id never been born,3.0
40954,i know someone who needs help hello redditi just tried posting this a second ago but it wouldnt work let me try againok so i met this guy who made a post on reddit saying he was on the verge of killing him self i pmed him and asked him not too i made him promise me he would check in today and he didi asked him what he did for fun and he said something called gunpla calmed him down i think it was a typo but when you look up gunpla gundam shows up its practically the same thing he described so i think its the same thing basically its plastic models the problem is is that he cant afford kitsthe  problem is that his insurance doesnt cover therapy i can tell this guy doesnt want to kill himself but i dont think he knows thati need help reddit im only  years old and he lives way to far for me to help im going to tell my parents about this but hes still to far for them to helpwhat do you think,3.0
40955,gym manana then work  the lab come get drinkss then off to firefly for dinner  i love summer,0.0
40956,hates how older graduated siblings can by finer mom bday gifts ,2.0
40957,sleep over tonight with  yippee we are gonna stay up til   pst again ,0.0
40958,therealjordin haha  what are you doing today,0.0
40959, i dont think ill be able to get it off  im on the bar tonight,2.0
40960,edkrassen hey realdonaldtrump still dreaming bout a nobel peace prize i think not your complete silence is deafeningsad,0.0
40961, di pa ako inaaccept ni dailysurvey sa ym  bakit kaya ,2.0
40962,how likely is it that my constant fatigue and poor sleep is depression ive been getting poor sleep sleeping  hours and being tired all day for years got blood hormones checked  nothingeating healthy exercisingbutgot sleep study  very mild apneadiagnosed with adhd  prescribed vyvansetried lexapro then wellbutrin but was even more tired but also sadderso i just did my first night of cpap and dont feel that different the vyvanse shockingly has made me slightly more tired im trying to figure out whether my fatigue is depression so how likely is it that its depression given that the main complaint by far i have is the fatigue because i dont know where else to goand if it is is there any way to cure the fatigue,3.0
40963,calalalala oooo thats very cool now get down there and yarnbomb it ,0.0
40964,what do you do when you can feel it getting bad again about  years ago i was in a really really bad slump the details arent important but i got out of it by leaving an awful personal situation i was in breaking off a toxic and draining relationship and putting effort towards longterm goals that i had i have been doing really really well the past few years doing things i never thought i was capable of finally feeling healthy and happy currently a lot of aspects of my life are changing i am graduating with my degree which is exciting but i am sort of sad to leave because ive had a wonderful time at this school i am starting a new job i will be moving in a few weeks i have to leave a volunteer position that i have loved as a result and my relationship almost a year together that was everything i had ever wanted has also hit a bit of a rough patch theres also basic family drama could be worse and i also have been talking with my doctor about the possibility of having endometriosis it has been a few weeks of feeling like everything has sort of gone stale i used to love my studies but now its hard to get myself to even go to class i have been feeling really really overwhelmed and it is hard to get up and do anything without crying or having an anxiety attack the past few days have been especially bad — i cant go a full day without crying and i havent been sleeping very much i have to force myself to eat because i never feel hungry anymore and most days i cant even finish a full meal i avoid all but one of my friends i am trying to do whatever i can think of to tackle potential problems like making doctors appointments to get treatment for endometriosis and taking medicine to help me sleep and trying to reach out to old friends im trying to take it one step at a time but it feels like all the progress i had made is slipping away from me and i feel really helpless i guess i am just looking for advice i know i am not the first person to do really well for a while and then get knocked back down so what do you do for yourself when it feels like that,3.0
40965, awww yay ,0.0
40966,sorry to hear about fool kyleen  hang in there woman youll be ok eventually,2.0
40967,paintedduchess man that is shit about the hard drive losers i have lost thousands of precious photos over the years ,2.0
40968,does anyone else find happiness in doing reckless things i feel like im just dissatisfied with most things in my life and im having to struggle every day to keep suicidal thoughts away i  started just going really fast on my motorcycle and occasionally just running from police i feel excited and happy doing just reckless things and its something i feel like i dont feel ever anymore anyone else experience this ,3.0
40969,paleoprincess because you dont throw half a tub of cream cheese with chives and onion on normal bread mmmcream cheese and salmon ,0.0
40970,radioblogger a bit off topic you guys doing a show from blogworld expo this year the medbloggers will be there   time  hhrs,0.0
40971,thecraigwright  this is my all time favourite jamiroquai song just amazing  ♫ ,0.0
40972,rt orgchubbs i cant go out sad for nobody,2.0
40973,in french watching a french film  its pouring ,2.0
40974,cuddling in bed till you fall asleep was huge stress relive i need that back 😢,1.0
40975,frizco you too man i gotchu lol member air hugs  aww,0.0
40976,if im ever having a boyfriend please let him be an otabek ,0.0
40977,iranelection i cant find how to change my time  irantehran does not sppear to be an option for me  lol ,2.0
40978,off for two hours saatnya jd mahasiswa teladan ,0.0
40979,larabloch lara i miss you more  whats new how are the exams going hunnyxx,2.0
40980, m depression hit like a bus today and i honestly just want to talkvent to someone ive been trying to write about whats happened today for like and hour now but i keep discarding what i wrote i think it will just be easier to talk to someoneso today ive been just crying on and off since this morning as ive realized how lonely i actually am not to mention i was bullied today at lunch and was physically forced out of my seat none of my friends stood up for me at all or even asked if i was ok so im pretty sad about thative also just been struggling with depression for about a month now like i have no motivation to be productive or to get work done i have so much late work for school that i havent even looked at yet so thats giving me a lot of anxiety and stress my grades are also slipping as im starting to fail a lot of my classes despite being an all a student last yearhaving panic attacks and crying have kind of just became a normal things for me and nobody else knows what im going through ive been also been staying up really late on school nights just to try and avoid going to school the next dayi suffer from add dyspraxia and misophonia so im already not that fun to be around i also feel like im kind of boring or monotonous as i honestly have lost interest in everything my self esteem and confidence are also really low as of today so ive really started to truly think about all these things today and ive just been super depressed and have been crying onoff it would just be kind of nice having someone to talk and vent to during these hard times  or maybe someone to at least relate to so feel free to dm me or leave a commentalso any advice on what to do would also be appreciated,3.0
40981,going to have a tooth out ,2.0
40982,rt younggawhd my dog has really bad separation anxiety and every now and then when he thinks people are leaving this happens and i feel,2.0
40983,paulrandal   yup my prop backs up to a conservation area so i get plenty of wildlife and the wife is the real gardner ,0.0
40984,sarchan just say it to them when ordering  dope shit in clay pot,0.0
40985,been almost  months and no drink ,2.0
40986,enda well we shall continue then  freeprita,0.0
40987,my pooch isnt feeling well i wish i could make him better ,2.0
40988,man im so lost with this java assignment i have for my summer comp sci course wish i could get some guidance in it ,2.0
40989,mollieofficial glad you enjoyed it with so many great acts im sure it wouldve been fab ,0.0
40990,losing my mind i seriously love my family a little too much i take care of everything for them plus multiple family members my husband doesnt appreciate anything i do says i should have nothing to complain about since i get to stay home with the kids a few months ago i lost my grandfather on monday and my baby at  weeks that saturday i try to be thankful for my living kids and i am its just been a couple of rough months with nobody to talk to no reason for this post other to vent my frustrations,3.0
40991,rt jhetterly i would let both of my underage daughters see eighthgrademov  they dont live in a  world amp i believe boburnhams fi,0.0
40992,sawa kay charice pempengco ,2.0
40993,mcflyharry awwwwww poor you dougie denied his feelings  i still love you lmfaooo,2.0
40994,sidneyfun welcome to twitteru are now one of my tweeps ,0.0
40995,grahamgudgin yes isnt that lucky ,0.0
40996,autumncoursey   tomorrow will be better  or heck maybe even tonight get started on season  ,2.0
40997,doniain so instead of moving dodgy clipart areas rep different currency amounts and kids use fingers could work beyond money too ,0.0
40998,advice on helping a roommate with depression sorry if this is not the right place to post this if it isnt let me know and ill remove it one of my roommates has been on antidepressants for a while and is pretty open about it lately hes been kinda moody and seems very upset for a while one of his big hang ups and something that hes talked to me about is that he doesnt think hell ever meet anyone hes  and he always thought hed like own a home or be in a serious relationship by now hes discussed many of these things with me and our third roommate before two nights ago he got stood up by this girl at work or something stormed out of our apartment to drive to his home town two hours away for food and back he literally has not said a damned word to me since and ive tried to talk to him a few times im not sure how to proceed here weve got five months left on this lease and im not planning on living with him again but i feel terrible our relationship is so strained because ive know him for  years we were at least i thought close sorry this may be too much unnecessary information my main question is that im not sure if i should keep trying to reach out to him or if its going to even help anything should i let him come to me if he ever does or what i just want to help but i dont know how ,3.0
40999,nastytaiboogy sad thing is thats actually  more than once  nd i kne we werent friendssigh niggas  smh sooo true,2.0
41000,homework over summer how crazy i hate this ,2.0
41001,wow who knew running actually would make you feel good haha well i just ran a little more then  miles in a half hour  peace out,0.0
41002,this is terrible worse than terrible but those of us who see kids with mental health issues deal with these obsta ,2.0
41003,agesthegreat ugh amp didnt hit me up ok  lol jk what were u doin here,2.0
41004,whatjoethinks how i wish  now im hungry and jealous ,2.0
41005,held hands with aladdin today twice  and wishes you were here ,0.0
41006,wants to watch transformers  ,2.0
41007,who goes to the zoo at  in the morning only my motherand yesim still talking to hot guy ,0.0
41008,stephbysteph now you say it damn ive been fooled for one hour and a half ,2.0
41009,for anyone who has ever dealt with depression or still does how did you cope with it i dont have insurance and im far too broke to afford treatment from a professional so im having a hard time dealing with this alone ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now but it seems to have gotten worse within the past year and its really starting to fuck me up im only  years old so obviously i still have plenty of time left on this earth but i find it hard to even imagine a future for myself i dont enjoy anything anymore and thats probably the hardest part sometimes ill just sit in my apartment and do nothing its like i dont even have the motivation to do basic everyday shit if that even makes sense its like i wanna do something but i cant focus on anything long enough because i always lose interest fairly quickly and my mind begins to wonder back to that same dark place i feel lost like i dont even know what im doing with my life anymore i have a job and im taking a trade course through the local community college in my area so i should have some sense of direction unfortunately though i dont i just go with the motions doing the same shit every day without any real reason at all thats another issue is finding a fucking reason to do anything i can think of plenty of reasons why i should but i just cant find that want to within myselfi feel extremely lonely which isnt a comfortable feeling at all im surrounded by people every day at work and school but mentally i feel like ive been buried alive and everyone is just walking over top of me it seems like everyone has their shit together and i have no clue what i want to do with myself anymore the biggest issue that i have is that i typically turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain as i know a lot of people do i know that its extremely unhealthy for me mentally and that i shouldnt self medicate mostly because if i get used to it then i could progress into a full blown addict i already have substance abuse issues and i know that but it hasnt started to interfere the shit that i have to do for me to get by so i tend to not think about it i know that im starting to develop bad habits like im aware of what it could lead to and that its not rational but i just cant find a reason to care i dont have a lot of respect for myself i know that sounds pathetic but its true i care less about myself everyday ive always had selfconfidence problems for as long i can remember i hate being sober and when im not busy with responsibilities im usually looking for a way to get fucked up to escape my own mind ive had a drinking problem for years now it seems to be the only thing that puts me in a good mood i fucking hate sobriety or rather the thoughts that tend to stick with iti act like im fine around people throughout the day faking a smile and forcing myself to make meaningless conversation with people so they dont start asking questions i used to be social and thats how i dealt with a lot of the shit going on in my head but for the past  months i have became extremely antisocial ive adapted to being alone and prefer to be alone most of the time i hate that im like that though i cant even enjoy myself around my friends so ive  secluded myself lately because i feel like im just a burden anyways a drag on the mood the overall hopeless boring dull feeling with life has really been fucking with me lately i could go on and on but thats what shrinks are for so i wont bore you with anything else if youve even made it this far if you have ever been in this situation or felt a similar way please share your experience and how youve dealt with it i used to think a lot of it was in my head like i felt sorry for myself too much but ive realized that its very real and its never going away so i might as well try to find some healthier ways to ease the pain i like hearing everyone elses stories too helps me not feel so alone i know that was a bit excessive and a lot to fucking read but any feedback would be appreciated im coming down from meth as we speak i had my last hit about two hours ago it was the second time id ever tried it two days ago and it turned into a fucking  day binge and ive just now started to kind of snap back to reality im starting to realize just how dangerous of a situation ive put myself in and how easy i could fuck my life up shits evil,3.0
41010,any ideas what are the best most painless ways to kill yourself just research,3.0
41011,im listening lady gagalovegamei dont like so much this songbut it is in my  player ,0.0
41012,do you guys think that crisis hotlines help i think im experiencing a crisis im not suicidal or anything but i just feel very out of control and i havent stopped crying all weekend but im very hesitant to call i dont know how i will feel about talking to a stranger on the phone,3.0
41013, yes i once had a dream about kinder bueno then something abruptly woke me up from the awesomenessi cried ,2.0
41014,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
41015,chatting with c syang nowmissing him so badly ,2.0
41016,rt flxrvlcece but you dont even ask about my mental health,0.0
41017,feel like in the poker game of life ive flopped a set and life has caught runnerrunner flush sigh just dont understand ,2.0
41018,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
41019,ewwwww smelly people are ruining my workout ,2.0
41020,jakeyhorney theres a job going at point clare pharmacy lols ,0.0
41021,yesterday was almost the best day of my life yes it could be better but im happy anyway ,0.0
41022,got the crazy bread but what a dissapointment  not so good this time  ,2.0
41023,i dont know if i have depression but ive been down for the past few days im not saying i have the hardest life out here but between college football and trying to keep an active life style my ass is tired worn out and sad for starters ive been single for almost two years a lot of it by choice due to my busy ass life style but i want a relationship pretty bad but just dont know where to fit it in im serious it gets lonely out here dont get me wrong i have people that like me but i sadly just never like them back i guess but the people i like they never like me back its a never ending thing lol i also play womens professional football so its legit a never ending everyone on the team going out with each other i dont like to mix business with pleasure for the sake of just trying to avoid conflict but anyways like i said it gets hella lonely i date here and there but i just dont like many people like that idk what it is idk if its me thats broken if im being too picky or what it is i guess i just needed a place to vent kinda sick of waking up every morning to cry about things and how stressful things can become and i cant lean on a partner or anyone for comfort in that way kinda sick of dragging my friends under with my sadness tbh i cant tell you guys how many times ive contemplated suicide over my loneliness passive suicide that is thank you for reading,3.0
41024,aubreyoday i love that showweeds but i dont get it here in london  i miss my american tv shows,2.0
41025,terrible depression at night only so first time posting here i am currently out of work due to a work comp injury and dealing with a lot of uncertainty in terms of needing another surgery severe financial stress and just overall really feeling like i missed the bus in lifei am currently in recovery  years sober from alcohol so i am used to mood swings during the day i guess the best way to describe me is not totally irritable but not happy going through the motion doing my best to get through the daybut once night time hits and i want to go to bed this fog of terrible depression settles over me and i am in total despair its bad i look at the local obituaries i google suicide notes i just feel completely and utterly hopeless and i ask god why im alive i have nothing going for meno career girlfriend no place of my own incredible amounts of debt from prior medical expenses its bad i dont know what the cause of this is by morning i feel normal and relatively fine its like the night feelings werent even thereanyone have a similar experience or advice because its definitely scary,3.0
41026,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
41027,gowing to bed sadd ,2.0
41028,an hour black out ughh lost a lot if stuff on my computer ,2.0
41029, it wouldnt be polite a duck tape a lady  watch your manners p,0.0
41030,self loathing shame guilt help hello im a  yo female and i want to change myself for the better but dont know where to start i have a jumble of issues and i get confused even starting to figure out what i should start with i quit drinking about a month ago as a first step to stop procrastinating when it comes to fixing myselfi started drinking in my teens to have the courage to socialise and recently i realised i enjoyed drinking the most when alone i dont even know when this change occurred but i do know that its a sign of alcoholism basically i have super low self esteem and depressive tendencies and drinking was a way of self medicating and postponing having to grow up and tackle my issuesi grew up as an only child with loving but strict parents still to this day i feel like i want them to be proud of me and i want to pay them back for all they gave me they really put a lot of time and effort into my education especially in languages but now i dont use the skills they worked so hard to give me and this makes me feel like a unappreciative and lazy idiot i have zero self disciplinei have a boyfriend of  years who i adore but i am unable to talk to him about these things because he doesnt relate to them at all i dont want to weigh him down emotionally and i feel self pitying and self absorbed for even talking about this i am very aware of this being a sign of an unhealthy relationship but i just dont know how to tackle iti have no reasons to be depressed yet i have a constant physical heaviness in my body and mind i feel guilt shame worthlessness and hoplessness  of the time i desperately want to change anyone have any strategies or tips,3.0
41031,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
41032,fudgetoo many downs not enough ups ,2.0
41033,vladtvstaff u make me sad talking all this greek stuff  your  pham dissed me,2.0
41034,my vaction is coming to an end be back in vegas  ,2.0
41035, nite nite will chat  lol    ,0.0
41036,littleliverbird  good luck to him ,0.0
41037,tiredgotta get up early in the morning ,2.0
41038,am i being dumb anyone else struggling and just sad af all the time but too embarrassed to tell anyone feel like no one will really care,3.0
41039,hi everyone just joined twitter in hopes to help keep me on track as i begin my weight loss journey please feel free to follow me ,0.0
41040,rt healthfitnessnm katie fought depression with exercise  and lost  pounds healthyfoodblog  ,2.0
41041,darkkbluestars be strong kiddo shes smiling down at you knowing that you love her  shes in a great place right now ,0.0
41042,msbbwliz you are welcome  its ok p,0.0
41043,heatwave makes me depressed for a week it has been hot humid sunny weather where i live my room heats up like hell doesnt cool down during the night and outside it isnt much better ive begun to notice that this kind of weather makes my depressed symptoms come out of their shell i thought they had gone for a while but not being able to do anything sweating all the time having poor nights of sleep and overall agitation caused by the heat make me feel depressed does anyone have similar experiences with this kind of weather what should i do,3.0
41044,how to cope im just curious what people do to cope when they have low days i havent found anything that helps me yet,3.0
41045,about to kiss florida goodbye ,2.0
41046,but i will follow ,0.0
41047,i cant take it anymore ive been depressed for so long that i find comfort in it ive also had severe anxiety loneliness is killing me my friends went from feeling sorry for me to completely abandoning me i dont really blame them coz its my fault i refused to hang out with them and isolated myself from everyone i cant feel a real connection with anyone i dont even feel close to my parents i feel like a total lazy ass piece of shit whos unfit to live in this society and who doesnt deserve anything i have nothing positive about myself today i decided that i should quit being this way coz life kicked my ass already and i wanted to get back from it i was finally motivated to work on myself im fat af so i wanted to lose my weight and join the gym but as the day progressed i came back to my old shitty self it was so hard to keep away from negative thoughts i couldnt even do it for one day im dead inside i cant even cry ive tried talking about it to my parents but they dont really understand ive always managed to put on a facade but now i cant even do that ive attempted suicide thrice but i never had the guts to do it  i cant study for shit coz im dumb af  i failed half of my papers my professor told me that im terribly flawed ive never had a girlfriend and girls dont even speak to me i honestly cant remember the last time i spoke to a girl i cant even try bcz of my anxiety ive had a serious crush on this girl from high school but she didnt even give a shit about me probably bcz im ugly and fat af and awkward and i dont really have a personality its been  years now and i still cant get over her coz im weak af apart from all this i get skin allergies all the time bcz of my weak immune system i dont have anything in my life to feel happy about food and the internet are the only two things that comforts me and now i dont even have wifi just limited mobile data my dad cut it off coz he thinks thats the reason im failing im tired i dont have the energy or the motivation to change my life and besides its fucked up to the point of no return how the fuck am i supposed to be positive when i dont even have control over myself happiness is far out of reach and it isnt eternal i wish i had the guts to kill myself i wanna put an end to this meaningless existence ,3.0
41048,am i the only one here who likes kris allenmaybe his vocals arent good as adams but i think hes a good singer and hes original ,0.0
41049,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
41050,victoriadahl ty will check it out when i get homehave been following student tweeters but silent for awhile now ,2.0
41051,the boat that rocked is a good film ,0.0
41052,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
41053,whose life is it anyway where everythings made up and the points dont matter is it my life it doesnt feel like it i didnt ask for any of thiseverythings made up everything is fucking fake its all a big joke im not happy this smile doesnt do anything except to ease your own apprehensions because you dont really want to know whats underneath it because thats too difficult it makes you uncomfortable im always uncomfortablethe points dont matter nothing matters nothing makes a difference no matter what i do i am always miserable this place sucks people suck people will forever continue to suck until another grand meteor wipes us the fuck outmaybe this was a dumb analogy i dont know but now im going to go watch whose line and pretend that im okay,3.0
41054,keralaholiday heh  worth a try i did get  free guides from offbeatguides in their beta version but never travelled to those places,0.0
41055,packing to go to maggie valley going to go see ghost town ,0.0
41056,back orders and office work nothing too exciting ,2.0
41057,experimented with adderall and now suddenly thinking so occasionally i take half an adderall  because i have issues with constantly feeling sleepy and a lack of energy during the daytime and taking naps which end up giving me migraines i get migraines triggered by bad sleep habits and they last for like  daysmy boyfriend has adhd and gets prescribed adderall and one day a while he suggested maybe i try a little bit of it because it helped him with his narcolepsyi know its bad to share prescriptions but i wanted to give it a try because i was feeling a bit desperate the adderall helped significantly with my energy i only had it that day but i was able to stay awake which helped me sleep properly that night and get my sleep schedule back on track for a while since then i take half an adderall very occasionally on particularly hard days when im feeling incredibly sluggish and sleepy i dont feel any reliance on it its just really helpful to haveanother side effect of adderall is apparently it raises your dopamine i dont know how much dopamine it gives you but the feeling of it is really odd to me i feel positive energy for the first time on it i have never really just felt okay honestly sometimes it feels like im always fighting off some kind of negative foreboding feeling inside of me if im not just indifferent or content im sad or anxious i have pcos and apparently it can cause depression and anxiety in women so now this whole experience with adderall makes me wonder if what i normally feel isnt normal what if i need something more what if i have clinical depression what if i need medication ive been so used to feeling just meh i love my boyfriend so much but sometimes it feels like my body doesnt even let me feel it at times if someone asked me the last time i felt true happiness i dont know i could answer them theres been plenty of good things that have happened to me and i can recognize my blessing objectively but i rarely feel them even when i was a child i was very mellow it feels like it only got worse after pubertyi guess im just thinking i might need to finally pull the trigger and see a therapist im  now and ive had some really bad depressive and anxious phases in the past there were times i felt myself and the world around me wasnt real but i was too scared to see a therapist then nowadays it never gets that bad anymore but its possible its still there affecting me every day just not really sure whats normal to feel anymore maybe feeling indifferent is just an adult thing,3.0
41058,help im  long story but im not in school right now and probably never will be again never had a girlfriend been suicidal since  grade up until about a year agorandomly today ive just been thinking about my life and i feel like shit i thought i finally got past all this shit but i can feel myself getting pulled back in i just feel like breaking down and crying and i dont know why fuck,3.0
41059,adztheman thats good to hear ,0.0
41060,misskrystajean that reminds me of yesterday  ,0.0
41061,wstchin brainiac its just soooo funny i cant wait till the summer ,0.0
41062,my chilli and tomato seeds have started to spurt  cmon miss strawberry you can do it too ,0.0
41063,damnman i still aint got out the car  hate to see this shit n this b like whn u see ppl u been wonderin where they been aint seen n years,2.0
41064,tomcramond yay someone is actually listening to me on twitter thanks ,0.0
41065,cnn is saying that there were just a few people outside tonight  my american fellows help iranelection,2.0
41066,lmao im still not tired after being up all  god i hope the zs start to roll soon or else ill be sleeping all day ,2.0
41067,divinewrite thank you its on my to do list too ,0.0
41068,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
41069,ive been rejected many many many times but its never hurt this much ,2.0
41070,sammyammyooh forrr real  it makes life seem slower,2.0
41071,rip david carradine we will miss you grass hopper  ninjas suck,2.0
41072,contemplating whether i should bring my lappie out ,2.0
41073,andreakhenry  its only a  minute drive from your house to mine ,0.0
41074,depression is too broad of a term everyone has to deal with their own plight but some has it worse than others depression by definition is inconsistent you cant categorize everyone dealing with their unique misery as just feeling sad for an extended period time my belief is that although sadness may be a general aspect of what youre feeling depression has a much wider spectrum of feelings perhaps even feelings not yet defined one feeling that comes to mind is that of when you feel complete apathy yet sadness at the same time i have no word for iti hope humanity can someone achieve clarity by perhaps a revelation i wont be here to see it though as i wont be alive by next year,3.0
41075,adammackwright istock images cant legally be used in logos unfortunately ,2.0
41076,idk right now im at a point right now where im on the edge i thought everything was okay but i just keep going to this place i get happy for a while then i go right back here i feel like want to cut again its been so long since i have but its so hard to fight it right now ,3.0
41077,that has been brent spiner is one sick puppy getting his few fans to attack me because he cant ,0.0
41078,watching the green mile on the worlds biggest flatscreen with my puppy dog snoozing on my lap its a lovely lumfree evening  luminous,0.0
41079,tried to get to hospital by public transport ha foiled again waited  minutes amp ended up taking a taxi bloody €  out the window ,2.0
41080,here  eatting smarties ice cream  bad tummy ,2.0
41081,sad,2.0
41082,pcds so bad that i dont  even care my bag was left at heathrow  not gonna get it until tomorrow got my pics from us here so im ok ,0.0
41083,felt faint while shopping this afternoon x but feeling much better though im going to have to miss the district conference ,2.0
41084,confusing feelings last new year  i suffered a very bad breakdown that left me unable to eat or walk or even talk i slowly got out of that and the following months were just panic severe anxiety and flashing suicidal thoughts those did lessen naturally but i still felt depressed as a result i thought that was getting better and then in august i moved cities for work i felt i could so i did im still here now and i dont see my mates a lot or family and the job hasnt worked out as well as id like i went home for christmas and it was the lightest id felt in a long time and now im back here and cant leave my flat until august doctors here havent been helpful at all i can still get up and do things and i still do some activities but its now becoming harder to do so i sometimes have flashes of a good future then realise my reality and i get down again its such a weird feeling and i wanted to see if anyone else could familiarise with it ,3.0
41085,loveketurah if you like  laughhave a good timefollow meits just that simple ,0.0
41086,itszikki shit i wouldnt even be mad at ya id brag for you ,0.0
41087,why am i so tired all the time i have no energy no motivation it all seems so pointless i cant bring myself to do anything and the joyful mask i put on is starting to fade and people are starting to realize it im so tired ,3.0
41088,madd acheee ,2.0
41089,now up in dundee workin in the rain  god i love my job   ,2.0
41090,i think i lost my favorite ring ,2.0
41091,woke up went downstairs no birthday cake what the hell and my mommys gone too  anyway disco time,2.0
41092,just got done with dinner  cant  tell tuseday ,0.0
41093,decision about seeking help hello everyoneas you can understand from the title of the post i am not currently under any guidance or psychological help  evaluation for the majority of the past year i started to notice a general lack of ambition and desire to do anything that previously liked to do furthermore there is a general lack of any positive or negative emotion during my everyday life i am not truly happy or truly sad i am just indifferent about me and my life now i believe i know where the problem lies and i really cant find a solution so i am thinking of going to seek some professional help however i dont know if it will truly help me of course i wont diagnose myself as having depression but from what ive been told it seems like it and thats why i took the decision to post here thanks in advance,3.0
41094,justjasperhale i like your background at alice  she looks really pretty in that photo,0.0
41095, awww im sory  i hate grocery stores i wonder why haha,2.0
41096,oh manonly  days of school left and im pretty sure i exempt out of all my examsoh man oh man ,0.0
41097,mysterejones i knowi was prob running around ,2.0
41098,im alone and i cant stand it anymore so ive been bullied and all alone through my whole primary and most of secondary school it all went down when i moved to england when i was about  now im almost  and i lost a everyone people who i though will be there for me and who i trusted with everything when i was in year  i met this girl and we became best friends for almost three years a month ago she just stopped talking to me for no reason and i saw her hanging out withpre popular group of girls in my school i heard from my other friends at a time that shes telling them how could i be friends with this thing and so on i literally did nothing wrong and i thought this girl will be in my life forever she took me out of depression and i thought what we had was real friendship now ive lost my  year friendship over some petty thing too but it is clearly an excuse just not to be friends with me and thats how the whole group pushed me away and cut off any contact with me i finally had friends and after three years of me getting better mentally im slowly falling into the dark hole again im alone again and i feel miserable  i have literally nobody and the worse thing is i did nothing wrong now in asking myself whats wrong with me i feel once again that i meant to me alone the amount of things ive done for those people its really just a matter of time till im going to feel suicidal again all i do is cry i dont even want to get in new friendships i dont trust people anymore and i know getting attached to them will always end up the same me ending up hurt people always let me down and somehow i thought they were different but theyre all the same i feel so alone,3.0
41099,on my way to work im runnin late and im sooooo tired ,2.0
41100,overcoming performance anxiety srs  ,2.0
41101,scloho fixed  ,0.0
41102,vixxwonshik make a sad face oh alright,2.0
41103,lubysleeps i would  to lets go to somewhere with golden sand and clear sea and sunbathe ill let you use my lilo ,0.0
41104,petewentz youre just the truth tweet me ,0.0
41105,on the eastsidea few of my friends r goin to the libraand thnk its time for me to get out i rather b in the studio tho man ,2.0
41106,just stocked up on summer reading with quotgod save the fanquot quotsafe at homequot by alyssamilano and quotdynastyquot by globemazz yay ,0.0
41107,almost ready to watch the  ep of pushing daisies even my deathly illness will not deter me nedll bring me back to life ,0.0
41108,my mom has cancer and my dad has been doing fucked up things that make me really sad my sister and brother are joining in on the harassment towards meim not their actual problem but theyre fucking me up and i was already super sad,3.0
41109,happy sunday to all tweets   ,0.0
41110,its june do something crazy today ,0.0
41111,mysql injection vulnerability verhelpen ,0.0
41112,gets it innice ass night right hurrrrr homie  ,0.0
41113,ordinarysarah def not sad twitter is a great place for conversations ,0.0
41114, and startin my day its just not the same wit out you here  u got my heart,2.0
41115,grocery shopping anyone else get depressed while grocery shopping ,3.0
41116,im envious of people who have the courage to commit suicide i wish people would understand that i didnt ask for the life i was given im  i have a bright future a wonderful home along with amazing friends amp family i have everything i could ever ask for amp everything i could ever need im quite simply what you would consider lucky or blessed yes even genetically  aside from all of that im still so depressed i hate life amp i find no interest in living i understand that there is so much to live for amp i understand that the world has so much to offer but i wish people would stop and realize for a second that i never asked for any of this i wish people would stop and realize that im tired amp exhausted of living this thing called life i have always felt as if i was here and thats all here but absent as if i was drifting through this thing called life yet even though im so tired amp have lost the ability to even feel a drive to continue moving forward im still too scared to end it all it pains me so much to just be here i dont understand why im like this i just am when i see videos or storys of people who kill themselves i cant help but feel envious i cant help but wish i had the courage to do that amp the one time i actually built up that courage i failed i just wish i didnt exist i wish i wasnt put into this mental dilemma that constantly rips my heart apart i just want to be gone i just want to finally rest amp it pains me so much that i cant muster up the courage to go through with ending my life,3.0
41117,need some kind words hey i just need to get some stuff off of my chesti dont feel great my most meaningful friendships are crumbling and it hurts my chest physically hurts i just want to be loved but couldnt possibly feel less loved than i do now i just need somebody to tell me its going to be okay im going to be okay and that everything will work out sorry if this just an obnoxious rant,3.0
41118,sun you decided to appear yeey  late for school xxx,0.0
41119, i want a kitten ,2.0
41120,to gym or not to gym i just want some opinion and advice about getting into a gym next month i wanna get lean and maybe get some arms not too much ive been thinking about it but im not sure because of my anxiety and depression would it be good for me would it be bad im very confused so any advice is welcome,3.0
41121,my camera died and i fucking need it for school and other stuff and i lost the receipt so i cant even get it fixed ,2.0
41122,had a wicked holiday in yorkshire  and left my better half there for a few more days watched deer hunter and qofs as direct result ,0.0
41123,rt  fuck you ,1.0
41124,miasmacloud friend isnt enjoying the laggy layout and furry characters and i agree with her ,2.0
41125,time to go to the gym for a serious workout   hate it but need it ,2.0
41126,i just ran over the bones of a roadkill deer ,2.0
41127,help please depression is ruining my college career how do i do assignments when all i want to do is lay in bed and cry im on medication and see a therapist im trying so hard my major and ambitions used to be the only things my depression could never touch and now its taken them away from me im going to be put on academic probation if i dont clean up my act any advice would be extremely appreciated i need help,3.0
41128,cnt readsoo hungry  last thin i have was popcorn  ago blah nothin to eat n my uncle is just downstairs his a butt if only i had money,2.0
41129,fun my best friend is choosing her internet girlfriend that shes only known for four months over our entire friendship and i cant comprehend it or the pain that i feel or how worthless i feel or how pathetic i feel for not being able to just get over it like i have before the thing is is that if she leaves ill have nobody ill have no friends no one to go to nobody that i can be there for nothing ill have nothing and i dont know what to fucking do ive tried talking to her about it for the last two days but its just ended with her being mad at me and me fucking up again and me apologizing for nothing and i cant fucking do this anymore i dont want to be in this fucking state i want to graduate and change my name and disappear ,3.0
41130,rt snannah post concert depression,2.0
41131,ian crawford come back the cab isnt the same without you ,2.0
41132,tired of this depressing life i always let people enter into my life hoping that they will heal me but at the end of the day they just give me different level of pains time never heals anything it just makes everything worsened,3.0
41133,struggling to go to work and live life to the fullest today dont really feel like doing anything i sit here today and dont feel like doing anything all ive done is watch fullmetal alchemist as well as brotherhood hours go by and i only wish time would stop for awhile ive thought about playing pokemon or something else but anytime i do i just think whats the point i have to go to work tomorrow anyways im not going to have time to finish and enjoy it  i thought almost  years into my job as a nurse i wouldnt feel this way anymore i decided im going to take another sick day tomorrow to adequately prepare myself for a few days back i think losing my dog of  years a few days ago has possibly affected the progress ai have made with myself latelyi worked some ot and i didnt dread going to work every day now for some reason i cant stand going to work i just want to do nothing for a long time sit down and play my games and not worry if ill have enough time to beat them nothing at work interests me but i have to work to make a living and support myself i wish there was a way to have some extended paid time off that i feel i need one more day just doesnt feel like enough  im not sure if its my job thats making me depressed or just being depressed in general  i feel like as long as im working constantly im always going to feel like i cant do this bc i work  hours tomorrow anyone have any thoughts ,3.0
41134,on my way to the beach with jess ,0.0
41135,drinking is no longer the answer  drinking too much is certainly the problem ,2.0
41136,rt saintkillah were all suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that suicide aint the answer 💯,2.0
41137,agesthegreat it aint for you i want chicken and brocli thanks ,0.0
41138,feeling hopeless i feel that depression has completely robbed my happiness to the last drop i have no motivation anymore and e everything seems pointless now i really wish i wasnt like this i know its superficial to say but i feel like if i was a really sexy girl things would be better like that would give me the confidence to go out and be successful the fatigue from feeling this sad all the time is really interfering with my life thoughts of ending it cross my mind but i dont even want to die yet either i dont believe that sound solve anything at all i want to live a long healthy and happy life i just dont know what to do with myself anymore it feels like torture to see pretty girls on social media having fun and getting a lot of attention i know people exaggerate online but i cant help but think its still true ,3.0
41139,my ghds blew up on me  im gutted,2.0
41140,happy fathers day to all you dads out there mine is back home so a phone convo and a card in the mail will have to do ,2.0
41141,i really wish i could go out tonight but homework is always in the way during summer  i really wont have a life ,2.0
41142,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
41143,dude if ya cant get ur money back on the ticket or even sell it ill send the money over im gutted i cant go ,2.0
41144, got   patch clusters to download and read too  did patch at xmas amazed how easy it was  dont see what fuss is about ,2.0
41145,rt rocksolidcross cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you  peter  ,2.0
41146,exiter thanks i will donwload ,0.0
41147,i just want someone to hug me tight and tell me it will be okay thats all that i want somebody to reassure me that someone anyone actually cares im just so tired of being on the fence wether or not this life is worth living and i should just end it all i just need that one little push to keep me going for just a bit longer because im not sure if the pain is worth living this life for me it seems no one actually wants to waste time or effort trying to help you unless you threaten to end it so all i want is someone to reassure me that life is worth living without having to take drastic measures now after reading that paragraph it may seem that all i want is attention but all i really want is to feel cared about and have some selfworth instead of always being pacing in my mind wether not to end it or promise myself that it will all be okay if i just wait but just waiting doesnt seem to be workingps i did just want to put dpwn just some of the various things that ive been feeling based around one central topic so i apologize if this seems a bit disprganized or all over the place i hope you enjoy your day  night,3.0
41148,eating lunch in the graveyard with lovely weather great ,0.0
41149,watch out guyzo  coming soon tweetbreak on channel  courtesy of nitzanhorowitz  btw kfirpravda how about questions from knesset,0.0
41150, me tooooooooooo ,2.0
41151,just got back  gonna order myself a chinese anyone wanna join me im home alone ,2.0
41152,torturousthings i think my mom might kill me if i dont  not looking forward to it,2.0
41153,bit annoyed oo been really x  tired all day its now  am an im wide awake ,2.0
41154,chat its one of these lovely nights where i lay awake and ponder on about everything negative so feel like chatting about random stuff or we could actually talk about or depression and who knows we might help eachother,3.0
41155,almost finally did it tonight but didnt vent my boyfriend broke up with me and i felt a visceral pain so bad it was like my chest was caving in i couldnt breathe and i couldnt stop crying and i just wanted the feeling to stop but it didnt im an atheist but it was so bad that i got on my knees and prayed to god for relief nothing happened i hung a noose on my door and i tested it without jumping off and i passed out for a couple seconds my reflexes kicked in and i finally got out i started worrying about the drugs my parents would find if they searched my room after i died for this reason alone i texted a friend and tried to stay still in bed for as long as i could until the pain subsided it went away a little and i closed my eyes until my breathing was better i dont know how i will get through tomorrow but i didnt end it tonight and thats something,3.0
41156,sisters  communion today all you catholics out there know its kinda a big deal party after  people coming over to celebrate ,0.0
41157,rt itsmetaebae ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣     nobody can make the rose and black roses                 sad      we are a strong family＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿,1.0
41158,good morning world even though its  in the afternoon ,0.0
41159,middleclassgirl lies there are no quotnormalquot people on twitter ,0.0
41160, lol yeah i am  getting £ for doing all this plus i helped with the cleaning earlier  xxx,0.0
41161,sotodance come here and you sure will i drag everyone that comes to visit to see herbert ,0.0
41162,thestuntdude good morning ,0.0
41163,calvinharris my cats like asparagus and green beans ,0.0
41164,i made myself a promise today so i made my self a promise today that i will get a psychologist either when i start my phd or in october  if i havent started it by then im posting this here because i hope that it will help me keep that promise when the time comesim  and will probably graduate in march next year i love my studies and im actually really good at what i do i have a boyfriend i have wonderful friends and a great family i am planning to become a professor one day and i am really looking forward to my future despite all of this i frequently get anxiety attacks when something reminds me of some bad experiences i had back in school unfortunately any sort of sports related thing reminds me of pe classes which were among the worst so that isnt great for my longterm physical health i also often cry for hours either at home or in the train on my way home i dont actually remember when my depressions started it was definitely before puberty maybe when i was eight i think it was worst when i was  years old but i dont really remember much about those years it started getting better in the later years of high school however the real improvement came when i started to go to university i love my field and it felt great to have more freedom about what i wanted to learn so for  years when i was  years old every single year was better than the one before and therefore also better than any year before that it felt amazing every single year i would think damn this is the best year of my life i still had anxiety attacks and i also cried a lot but i thought if things kept improving then the depressions would eventually go away i then started my bachelor thesis at the beginning i had a lot of fun with it i worked very hard and i learned a lot however my experiments didnt work which would be frustrating to just about anyone that triggered the worst depressive phase ive had since school about  weeks before my thesis was due i felt so fatigued that i didnt want to continue i thought i might just be overworked and decided to take a week off but it didnt improve i therefore started working again and for  weeks id go to university  times a week work for half an hour cry for an hour continue working for half an hour and so on i managed to work for about  hours a day im really proud of this tbh fortunately the phase just stopped  week before my thesis was due and i managed to finish it with a decent gradethis whole thing kind of woke me up from the depression will just go awaymentality even when i was feeling happy and even when i succeeded at something in university i just became so afraid that depression might just come back and ruin it all for me science is a very stressful occupation because you literally never know whats going to happen its frequently very frustrating even for people who dont have depressions but i absolutely love it despite of that and i dont want my depression to take that away from me about a year ago i tried to get a psychologist i called one of the therapy centres i really dont know what to call it lol about  times it took a lot of willpower each time but no one ever picked up i just gave up at that point i decided that instead of wasting my energy on getting a psychologist i would just concentrate on my studies university helped me get out of depression sort of when i left school and i think changing my university plans to get a psychologist would be counterproductive im planning to write my master thesis in another country i also probably wont do my phd in the same city in which i am now and generally speaking academics have to travel around quite a lot i think the only time in my near future where i am likely to stay in one place will be during my phd which lasts  yearsso i decided that this will be the right time to get a psychologist and today i promise myself that i will actually get one,3.0
41165,nycestargang tryin to escape my jail cell and go home to  and watch the game  please tell me ur going  denver,0.0
41166,dlah glad to see dilah too ,0.0
41167,well im off heretime for this girl to get some sleep  tweet dreams lol goodnight world wide web,0.0
41168,changing to a new antidepressant how to alleviate brain zaps im going to be trying remeron soon so ive been following my doctors tapering schedule and increasingly spreading out my doses of pristiq but ive still been getting pretty bad brain zaps and its really interfering with my ability to study is there anything that yall have found to be helpful with making them less intensedebilitating i dont expect them to be going away for at least another week but anything that would help lessen the severity until they stop would be super helpful,3.0
41169,i find it difficult to talk about my depression due to my attitude towards the popularized kill myself attitude on social media i dont know if im right to think of it this way but i see attractive young people publicly post haha im depressed my xanax gives me lifeesque posts all the fucking time and despite the empathetic part of my brain saying this is a cry for help the rest of my brain goes this piece of shit is using depression as an aesthetic and just wants attentioni feel wrong for thinking that way even though im so sure based on my experience with these people irl am i,3.0
41170,by the way sorry for the slow progress of this blog were still hard at work ,0.0
41171,yes we are  fantastic   page ,0.0
41172,i just feel so fucking empty its not even sadness that im feeling its that feeling of uselessness im just so tired all of the time and i want it to end ofc i would never kill myself but if i died i would be fine with that whats worse is that there is nothing really that justifies how im feeling right now so i just feel stupid for being depressed,3.0
41173,repairing my followers it seems twitter is easy with changing the follwing status  probably issue with my name change before,2.0
41174,dublicious there is nokia app which senses movement when asleep so it listens  body n wakes you up when  naturaly ready ,0.0
41175,rt sietefucker okay shes pretty and all but the ice cream really is giving me anxiety ,1.0
41176,home  did what i had to  ice cream along the way and now im back ,0.0
41177, indeed minus the coffee for me though ,0.0
41178,starting my day at work an other rainy cold day  first to day im gonna produce a politic electionsbrochure and then some dms,2.0
41179,cynthias here  oh how i have missed her ,2.0
41180, thanks for voting ,0.0
41181,i had a nice dream with the jonas   ♥,0.0
41182,i dont even care anymore i feel numb again my grades are falling apart my mental health is falling apart my life is falling apart and i dont even care enough to do something about it because im a fucking worthless piece of shit,3.0
41183,markusschulz haha i love ferry   glad you boys are all having a good time together  ,0.0
41184,so my wife starts at microsoft in the morning  in the same group  in an office close to mine i only have myself to blame ,0.0
41185, followers now fantastic ,0.0
41186,livbittencourt im sorry  dont be sad please,2.0
41187,cazashton were doing what we can  thanks for the feedback,0.0
41188,mentalhealth mental health salem    health organizers fair say they try to draw in the yo ,1.0
41189,ahhh finally going to try and get sum sreep  night everybody,0.0
41190,robbyyg hahah well maybe but too bad i havent lived that long yet and ew i wouldnt want too my skin would be all wrinkly ,2.0
41191,rt derickwaderehab really interesting paper  rct of converting waste ground to green ground and the effect upon mental health it helps,1.0
41192, for my english recount mine was pretty lame and i didnt proofread my work lol stillim glad i passed  ,0.0
41193,doubt for the past few months i have been contemplating real hard on whether i should do it or not one one hand i am sort of waiting for a miracle to happen on another hand i know for sure that this is all just wishful thinking then i begin to wonder when did it all start oh right it happened all the way back to my childhood i was a very weird kid and my family mostly neglected me i was often bullied by my sisters and schoolmates hence i was always alone always of course i made few friends every now and then but nothing lasted very long since i was often being used and manipulated then it dawned on me that i was actually really good at being alone so i was just doing my own things for several years without having any meaningful connections to the outside world then it quickly developed into anxiety and depression it was like i built the wall surrounding me brick by brick until i was engulfed in deafening silence by the time i realized my mistake it was all too late the world is a very unforgiving place and who wants a broken toy if they can have a brand new toy right for now i am in doubt whether i should keep swimming in this open sea of helplessness or give up,3.0
41194,new vlog to uploaded within the hour ,0.0
41195,missredgirl  is it half term next week xx,2.0
41196,tried watching angels and demons three times now but the cinema is sold out everytime ,2.0
41197,painted my nails half geen half bluethey look soo cool ,0.0
41198,how climate change affects your mental health  via shapemagazine ,1.0
41199,when you get tackled and then dog piled at the edge gave me anxiety ,2.0
41200,cant sleep  took a late nap im watching the  version of quotthe fogquot,2.0
41201,just got to the hotel it smells so bad in here ,2.0
41202,phonedomme thank you so much what sweet things to say ,0.0
41203, i haaaaaaate variance analysis ,2.0
41204,unahealyfan il see u at sheffield ,0.0
41205,mileycyrus hannah montana  my new fav film  i love youuu  but not the same way as i now love lucas til  voted for u mtv award btw ,0.0
41206,blunts gt depression so its my first time posting on reddit today was rough for me i cried while at work in my cubicle no one noticed and then for my lunch break i cried in my car and not the silent cries it was the loud gut wrenching cry you make when youre screaming out to god my face was ridiculously swollen and red when i finished but of course no one noticed because no one cares im having a work problem i wont get into too many details about but i think im going to be fired over this issue in a month ive been given  days to improve my performance its stressing me out bc i relocated for this position and the allegations were just not true but i dont want to get into the work drama i guess the  reason im here is because  this work issue has really brought me down ive struggled with depression since  on and off i have a history of sexual abuse and domestic violence abuse that left me with trauma ive tried to hurt myself in the past its been over  years since ive tried to hurt myself probably about  years since i did hurt myself so ive been good a lot of messed up stuff happened that should have broken me but it didnt normally i can handle my emotions if im sad i will cry alone but today i couldnt stop crying at work in the car after work at the convenience store and the rumination that comes with is is exhausting did i make a mistake is my depression back why cant i control my emotions what if i get fired why the crap didnt i accept that other job offer a week ago did i misunderstand what i thought was a sign from god is god real since i graduated law   school a year ago its been tough im the first in my fam to graduate so there was a lot of pressure on me i didnt pass the bar exam the first time or the second time i started studying for the bar exam last week and was completely derailed by this meeting with my manager and hr now thats all i can think about i cant focus at work on my work or at home on my studying i relocated here and now i am questioning if i should trust my intuition i am so confused i have started applying to other places but its just stressful nothing any of my friends or family say is helping i know i cant do anything about spilled milk that i cant let the world bring me down but damn guys its been almost  years now granted i could have never seen myself going to law school or even graduation but at this point i feel lost like what was the point im really trying not to let this work bullshit get to me but today i was just shocked at how much i was crying i couldnt stop and as i cried all these negative thoughts ran through my mind i just needed to vent im about to roll a blunt and hopefully this helps ,3.0
41207,nnorafiza  just read your tweets about the oz tour  i dont know what to say other than hugs  ,2.0
41208,bring back the neighbours dont let them leave ,2.0
41209,i miss my bestfriend  and an uber excited,2.0
41210,finally i found out that its the problem of jrails which set the accept header for each request   now i manage that myself,2.0
41211,hey yalll like is just finally woke up  i need to get back on the routine   how are yall,2.0
41212,i am awesomely bummed and tired today  dee,2.0
41213,is on facebook ,0.0
41214,dmbsfgirl are you going to sf zoo tomorrow i wanna go gotta work though ,2.0
41215,rt   priyaursal  yes if  gets rescinded it will push majority of women on  into a state,0.0
41216,sittin in the back of big red with brett and tristan alexy just lefti miss her ,2.0
41217,friedababbley youre welcome ,0.0
41218, well im almost fully recovered now so will have to start lookin for jobs soon   maybe next month some time,2.0
41219,  its been soo longgeoriga peach is the best kind of green tea hands down it wins  of course,0.0
41220,colne valley challenge finished few hours ago now to have a bath then eat every thing in site ,0.0
41221,karenbyrne thank you all for allowing me to be a part still think i was given the hardest question to speak to though lol  ,0.0
41222,bertranddkhar i did i think i did really well thank you for the kind wishes ,0.0
41223,jayakabajay so sad,2.0
41224,arnibella it can be a problem most people have a rudimentary knowledge of english but not many are fluent i have my hubby to translate ,0.0
41225,xboxhornetnews timlovejoy just a quick tweet to say good luck today hope its a good match and i think cahill will get the winner  ,0.0
41226,eat sandweeh and cappucino ,0.0
41227,there is a godi just found a pirate themed tower defense flash game ,0.0
41228,emmalwallace not on holiday again are you ,0.0
41229,i really really dont understand how to use twitter ,2.0
41230,saw drag me to hell yesterdayawesome movie my book foraging was lucrativeeven snagged radioheads pablo honeyfor a dollar ,0.0
41231,vanetarogers thank ye vaneta  much appreciated,0.0
41232,im done getting kicked out in  hours and having no job i fucked up idc anymore i blame no one but myself just wish things couldve ended differently,3.0
41233,gunna try and hookup my custom domain to my tumblr now ,0.0
41234,gym hate the rain ,2.0
41235,yourmotherr sorry i guess i was being too nudgemental hahaha whoa that was lame ,0.0
41236,jessstroup  u lucky duck u have fun ill be watching ,0.0
41237, dealing with was anxiety when others deal with things that are more difficult what i wasam dealing with,1.0
41238,at the farmers market ,0.0
41239,how do i know if im not depressed anymore well i dont exactly wanna kill myself on a regular basis i wouldnt mind dying but im not actively suicidal like ive been before i dont exactly think everything is pointless but i am pretty miserable i dont have any hobbies i enjoy and the ones i try to pick up always bore me very quickly i have no appetite whatsoever i have plenty of recurring nightmares and im a skilled procrastinator i guess i care about my future but to what extent i feel like im in some kind of limbo like if i had the tools to do something i would but right now im just waiting im always tired and bad at talking and i dont see the point in most things again im not suicidal i can get up every day without fail no matter how much i dont want to i have goals plans this isnt how ive experienced episodes before so im guessing im not really depressed is it over its been years so i imagine it has to end at some point i just thought i was okay but im always so pissed off and tired i cant help but wonder if im not i dont know im bad at emotions so when do you know ,3.0
41240, im sad now n i dont even know why   ,2.0
41241,kp on way back from scotland ive bn on heli lesson  amp felt lk i had gone back a bit  apparently it was a stronger wind but still ,2.0
41242,julee man oh manwhat a fecker day  thx loads for yer hugs ,0.0
41243,does anyone else feel like their presence contributes nothing of value to other people the seldom times i spend with friends it seems like theres no point of me even being there im not funny interesting good at conversation etc i kind of just sit on the sidelines while everyone else enjoys themselves and i wonder why im even there at all i feel just as alone with other people as i do when im by myself,3.0
41244,tonights the night i cooked my favorite meal i have no one to say goodbye to im done i can not take it anymore,3.0
41245,maeeyah oh haha that do i like where i stand sounds a lot like permanent by david cook ,0.0
41246, to a certain extent ,0.0
41247, im watchinit the second last episode ,2.0
41248,se ligo ston sfera  mazi mou oi boulousopoulos matiaba xrispa kai to vrady back stage me thn  ,0.0
41249,valonthecoast i was workin ,2.0
41250,you dont get to choose how youre going to die or when you can only decide how youre going to live now   joan baez ,0.0
41251,very grumpy this morning i really hate wearing a suit sometimes ,2.0
41252,almost sold out of strawbs until next week  past the  mark with  locally grown items check out the pea shoot  garlic scape combo,2.0
41253, ill always have your back ,0.0
41254,updates great pictures and congrats on a wonderful week at cannes ,0.0
41255,new exclusive  teaser for masseffect  is up on gametrailersdefinitely a must watch  shephard isnt dead ,0.0
41256,how to be able to make joke all the time i can be funny sometimes but its hard for me to make a joke whenever im feeling extremely sadburnouttired i need to make others laugh i want to make others laugh even when im sad its impossible for me to cope with depression and comedy is something that works great for me i have tried everything like physical exercise it does help but i get back into my moody self after a couple of hourstldr its not that long just read it,3.0
41257,lurking the internets ltfbrtgt bc ellerie has to go to a wedding today  but loving the awk ryro post,2.0
41258,trust me im not okay ,2.0
41259,hemalradia thanks for the ff  have a great weekend,0.0
41260,just feeling emo sometimes i wish i had my own friends here ,2.0
41261,immm home now resting i am sooo done for the day but i have work at   just get me thru this week pleaseeee,2.0
41262,paulmonk its always the way all promise but no stamina ,0.0
41263,xavierism ha ha okay  for sure glad my blog is somewhat working these days grrrrrrr,0.0
41264,have a headache had one earlier today and it went away long enough for vbsyeah  now its back     and so im going to bed ,2.0
41265, i guess we missed you   well have an amazing trip we will miss you so much,2.0
41266,imeanwegotguys make stuff up ,0.0
41267,everyone follow retrorewind impromptu nkotb block party right now ,0.0
41268,rt softsebstans do people who dont have an anxiety disorder know how lucky they are like you can just go out and do stuff without get,1.0
41269,joooline yup  i didnt take the toefl or the ielts exam thats why im going to take a distance exam,0.0
41270,rt laneyrodg when they can make u laugh validate you and care about your mental health httpstcohmqakqixeg,1.0
41271,can someone please talk to me i feel broken its hard to act all cool,3.0
41272,back to work ,2.0
41273,alisweeney worst workout ever   its amazing what a difference music makes im right there with you tomorrow will be better ,0.0
41274,why does everything drain me so much most days i go to school take a nap stay up late and go back to sleep and wake up for school then repeat some days i have things to do such as today and i just feel like i cant do anything after them all i had to do today is go to school then i had a  hour party for my younger cousin its not like i didnt enjoy it but now that im home i just want to curl up and not move for a day im just confused i dont know why i feel like this when what happened wasnt even slightly bad i just feel like it drained everything out of me,3.0
41275,zurairi jamsyyy omaigod i just realised wat u guys wrote abt my uknwwat n no it didnt come today ,2.0
41276,tiny blood vessel damage tied to depression among older adults httpstcoknqfvecfvp,2.0
41277,doubledowninsl for sure dudehey weve been hanging out for ages anyway cool ,0.0
41278,the sims  oh the sims  ,2.0
41279,everyone is so happy and in love i am very jealous congratulations to all those who have true love in their life ,0.0
41280,because my mum is on holiday from work i have to resort to buying time magazine ,2.0
41281,applying to unilever today ,0.0
41282,what the hell am i doing here just life man what the hell am i doing ,3.0
41283,my anxiety has ruined so many things for me in life help,1.0
41284,a discussion about onlinezoom therapy hello everyoneim a psychology researcher as well as someone who sees a therapist and has recently transitioned to remote therapy sessions because of as im sure we all know telemental health— namely live therapy sessions through technologyservices like zoom — has been on the rise in recent years but is currently spiking because of  and the need for everyone to stay indoorsmany therapists are adapting quickly and transitioning to remote sessions via apps like zoom including my own therapist this is fantastic and is working for a lot of people but as im sure other patients and therapists on this sub are experiencing many important parts of our usual therapy is getting left behind at the officefor example my therapist and i usually make use of an oculus vr headset or actual physical objectsthings for my exposure therapy now we have to do things verbally or by sending links of imagesvideos additionally my therapist usually gets a closequarters view of my reaction and state of anxiety during our sessions but this is significantly more difficult over video call webcam quality lag etcif youre a therapist id really appreciate it if you could fill out my survey  id love to understand this problem from your perspectives this might turn into a research project at a later stage but your answers from this survey wont be included there my apologies if links arent allowed hereotherwise looking forward to discussing this with everyone and hearing your thoughts amp experiences so far ,3.0
41285,mrkeys ehhh yea i believe so but i needa learn how to make it the old school way or i wont feel black anymore ,2.0
41286,love my girlfriend so much it hurts  no real need to reply unless you wanna give adviceshes become my only motivation in life and i know thats not good but i just cant help it we only get to see each other like twice a day and we go on a date once a week and i know for most people thats considered pretty normal but i find myself wanting more i can tell she wants the same thing but our lives are so busy that its the best we can do until summer break comestheres so many things i want i want to tell her i love her but its too early in our relationship and thats hard because im confident she loves me too i also havent done any of the relaxing stuff with her yet like cuddling on the couch or taking naps and i want the more intimate stuff too bad but not like a lustfuck or anything i want to have passionate loving sex with her i know that might make me sound like a pig but i feel like she completes me and i wanna make that bond with her,3.0
41287,everytime i get better depression always comes back around eventually its like an endless loop that ive been stuck in the past  years i feel like the only way out is a miracle or to get rid of myself,3.0
41288,vradio if you take backstreet boya and put them in silk mc hammer pants with sgt peppersbeatles coats and lame music then you have smap ,0.0
41289,good morning twitter world ,0.0
41290,im ready for school to be over ,2.0
41291,shares life sucks and then you die   ,2.0
41292,wants to be sitting in the sun today with a glass of vino and looking at semi naked boys with ivan and not sitting at work ,2.0
41293,malcolmmillion lmao  hey u therei almost lost  to yeahjdoe bcz we were trying prove who knew of the wackest songs he won lowkey ,2.0
41294,strictlyb bella dont give me anxiety please lol,1.0
41295,got all time low album  ,0.0
41296,rt selfmagazine cwriverdale star lilireinhart yes depression can affect seemingly perfect people  https,0.0
41297, did you see those fireworks we should use them to blow up issac ,0.0
41298,danmerriweather poor fella  sorry to hear ya not having fun,2.0
41299,after a very dull evening im off to bed big day ahead tomorrowi have to watch lots of animals die ,2.0
41300,rahla thank you  u too,0.0
41301,i was rudely awakened by by phone ,2.0
41302,honorsociety good morning micheal  julia,0.0
41303,the bad thoughts wont go away why do the bad thoughts keep coming back,3.0
41304,passwordreset welcome to the twitterverse  great handle btw  i can commiserate as micaiah was taken as well  ,2.0
41305,i dont know where im heading in life hello i go through every day with the same routine i go to work my uncle picks me up and we barely speak i love talking to people but i think i forgot how to socially interact i get nervous really fast in unexpected social situations where i couldnt gather my thoughts beforehand i have an okay time at work i kinda forget about how miserably boring my life is i go home im inside my room all day sit in front of my pc or my switch or whatever is inside my houseroom i dont have any hobbies besides sitting in front of my computer i keep dreaming of things to do for example learning magic or playing the piano i cant dedicate myself to it and give up within months im mediocre at everything i doi got out of school and started working   years ago and for all i remember thats where my severe depression started at that point i was still hanging out with people like every weekend but it slowly started drifting apart roughly half a year later i saw them occasionally every month or so when they invited me i kept calling in sick just to sit at home and do basically nothing i dont even enjoy sitting in front of my pc anymorei started using twitter roughly  months after i started working i met a lot of nice people there and theyre the only social interaction i have my sister hits me up on occasion but thats about it one of the first big friends i made on twitter is my now ex we hung out every day had an amazing time and tldr she fucked me over bad twice id call it mentally abusing me she does it consciously according to some people ive spoken to along the way i met friends but this whole thing with my ex made it basically impossible for me to speak on voice chat i have severe social anxiety and there is nothing more stressful than getting in a voice call with someone for meim a peoples person that cant hang out with people i feel like i dont belong anywhere  a lot of people like me in my community and all ive heard are great things about me i think im terrible im always there for my friends and whatnot and try to be nice always but i feel in the rare occasions in which i dont consciously think about whats going on i turn into a douchei dont know what i want i dont have hobbies aspirations or anything even if i did id probably drop them theres the ocassional im gonna do this thing and then i never do iti simply dont know anything anymore i have severe memory problems i go home and forget what i did at work im quite literally just living for the moment in a bad way i guessalso i havent cut myself nor am i suicidal i just go through to the day for the sake of going through the day i dont know what im trying to do here whether its help or just emptying my head of these thoughts   i wanna get into stuff but i live with my mom i cant call friends over due to my living conditions  i cant get off the internet im a very loving person and i couldnt even dare to think about leaving all these people itd destroy me no matter how much or little i mean to themi dont know where im going with all of this and i know its a big question buthow do i fix my life what do i do theres much i left out because im not sure how much itd blow this out of proportion even more im up to answer anything i dont get offended or anything like that  i havent been to a therapist and this is the first time im literally talking about my life in this much detail,3.0
41306, awww sorry  ill do better i love you mommy,2.0
41307,i told my husband im suicidal its not newjust stronger every day it eats away like cancer rheres no reason to keep going the only reason im not already dead and gone is someone has to watch the kids while hes away at work but i really dont care anymore nobody has ever wanted me in my life ive always just been a burden and im done i cant do this anymore everything hurts  theres not a moment when my body doesnt feel like its on fire  or like i was beaten by orcs  i cant do anything anymore even bathing hurts i cant take care of my kids they are suffering because i suck im done better get rid of this meat sack and die and free everyone from their ties to me because nobody should have to keep living when all they have is pain,3.0
41308,mikexjeezxx i think ive heard of that song ill listen to it tomorrow ,0.0
41309, awwww how tweet of u ,0.0
41310,heeey yesterday been my birthday   someone  of brazil,0.0
41311,justinsmile i have no hair  did you,2.0
41312,beaueurell im with you exhausted as well  long day  will catch up with you soon  ,0.0
41313,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
41314,loved maths and is awaiting french listening practice ,0.0
41315,my friends of  years ostracised me sorry its a long post its been building up for a long long timei grew up in singapore where i met my group of girl friends  people including me when i was  i am a very loyal person and i invested heavily in the friendship and only hang out with them in my growing years i got no friends outside this relationship because i dont need towe were super close and would talk and share our deepest secrets i really thought they will be my friends for lifei spent two years in australia for my university education and to be honest i missed them more than i missed my family when i was there thats also when i met my boyfriend my group being of asian upbringing are conservative when it comes to dating most of my friends had just dated for  or  guys only before getting marriedall was good when i found a job in singapore we hang out together like the good old days but my boyfriend was in australia and i wanted to be with him too i always dreaded the stressful singapore lifestyle and wanted to migrate to australia i have a high paying and well respected career in singapore but i was willing to give it up for lovethe long distance relationship eventually took its toll i was working  to  hours week and the time difference didnt help either i would go for days without talking to my boyfriend and maybe just drop a text or twothe world came crashing to me when i found out my boyfriend cheated it came as no surprise i head straight to my group of girl friends for help and supportthe cheating was a one time episode though it was super painful my boyfriend and i eventually reconciled we dated  years and wasnt ready to give it all up so soonwe even started making wedding plans the next year and one day one of my girlfriend m sent a mass email and said she wasnt coming to the weddingthen slowly i realised i was not invited to the gatherings at first i didnt think too much of it my job requires frequent flying and i have missed a few gatherings here and theremost of our friends are of marriageable age and we are all supposed to be each others bridesmaids there was a prewedding photoshoot that i was excluded and i only came to know about it when i saw it on facebook imagine how betrayed i felt i was no longer welcomed in the groupit was then i knew m was unhappy that i got back with my boyfriend especially the cheating event she thinks i was a hypocrite for advising her out of a potential relationship a few years back spoiling the chance of her ever getting a boyfriend she wasnt the girly type and typical asian guys wanted s petite sized girlthis guy she was interested in bragged to her about how he slept with other girls and tried to borrow money from her i cared so i told her not to head in such a stupid relationshipby now you can see how ridiculous that is and the most stupid thing is my group of friends just follow her lead to ostracise mei became their bridemaids out of loyalty but it was very awkward when i was there no one talked to me and basically i got no bridesmaids duty to do either i felt awful when i was there i thought i was doing the right thing for them and was desperately trying back to fit inon my wedding i had to mail them my invites even though we live just blocks apart they m and i never spoke since the email attended my wedding as guests not as bridesmaids i got no bridesmaids and was lucky to have three of my colleagues to be bridesmaids at the last minutei was so desperate to win back the friendship that my wedding montage included all my friends picturesi think it helped but we did tried to salvage the friendship a little prior to my migration with the exception of mshortly after i fell pregnant with my son i moved back to singapore for a short while to give birth and they visited me at the hospital it was acquaintance friendly deep down everyone knew the friendship was strainedit has been almost  years i really connect with the group i met them every  years for a dinner like their facebook posts etc while i was busy building my business and raising my son our family hit some hard times financially after my husband got retrenched so the friendship wasnt a priority i was busy keeping our family afloat mi recently started chatting with around  of them on instagram and i thought we are at least reconnecting a little like old times i am not hoping i will build a real deep relationship whatsoever but at least be friendly to each otheri thought i was over the whole friendship thing i didnt have any expectations but time to time i missed my friendsi have some friends in australia but its different some are met through work or my own business we didnt grew up together most of the friends here are just friends or business associates you occasionally catch up for a meal but not to discuss your problems etcbecause of the covid  situation most of us are staying ini saw a few of them post on their instagram  of them were on a google hangout video cam session together even one of the girls who was usually very passive in meetings she attends only like  of the meetingsi thought i was ok but that post just made me feel so nasty inside again big timeall the old memories that i spent the last  years forgetting and moving on just came back to haunt mei feel super terrible and i got no one to talk to so i am writing the post herehelp,3.0
41316,what is existence only to suffer hey guys hence the title everyday i grow weaker older alone i cant escape myself i listen and read alan watts and philosophy there have been days ill build courage to motivate and support loved one and local communities and even taken phycadellics to expand concious awareness yet prevailed no answers to life  we are simply the univervse observing itself the ego is superficial and death and birth are perhaps mere illusions though i feel stuck in a biological form slow deterioration demotivated each day like im living in a sad and unfunny groundhog day filn  illy difference is i get a little older i have no motivation at first women were my greatest motivation for love romance and sex now i believe dont get triggered that women are all weird unfortunately im attracted to their beuty yet i find them annoying and unbareable i have not been in a relationship m  and virgin so say quick background about my current situation  helps if anyone can offer personal experience or advice my parents divorced after years of abuse and arguments  my best friend  years is now in a mental ward and idk if hes the same person and hes been in multiple relationships all left in dissapointment ive moved house after  years and the townhouse neighbours vandalized a merc i worked really hard for within the first week moving here my current job doesnt take good care of me and they throw me around the place while i have bills falling from the roof communities all around are bogan and their driving has become insanely dangerous i cant escape these odd thoughts and emotions and since december  falling into suicidal territory for the first time in my life i have zero energy to walk or talk or take action in responsibilities for an entire year i lived alone and felt abandoned by everyone i sincerely loved and i was in a dark headspacei could add more but the only reason i have interest in life is writing i love it i love writing like you wouldnt believe i feel like art is somehow the answer of human communication and expression it always has been and always will be but behold i fear technology will take over replacing the vital energy of nature and human interaction with an artificial substitute and my art and writing will never see the light of day though i may continue in isolation for my own happiness and peace i just dont understand humans anymore sometimes i just wish i never existed only to suffer i have work soon and i feel like going to sleep but somehow that requires energy i hate it i wish if i found a beautiful woman i knew id love until my death a sort of juliet and romeo romance but instead i can only write and read about suchness everything else just is thankyou universe i appreciate the unknown works of your poetic efforts your deepest desire to experience yourself thanks to anyone who read this i dont know where i was going with it but needed off my chest hope you all find peace love and joy ijm,3.0
41317,presentjoyoga nice choice but im still partial to the original version ,0.0
41318,iwantmywallback i miss you i want to see you again ,2.0
41319,just had an impomptu visit with my grandma and  nephews chase told me quotits ok to fartquot  the wisdom of a  year old ,0.0
41320,quotwhy dont you just go live with chrislynn thenquot  my dad to me during lunch ,0.0
41321,waiting for the plumber ,2.0
41322,fk bumps in the road i will win today  by hook or by crook,0.0
41323,thenolookpass  cultural anthropology homework and i want it done today so i can enjoy the lakers tomorrow ,0.0
41324,just joined twitter too late for a techie ,2.0
41325,tower of bbq sauce and mrs buttersworths  ,0.0
41326,its sunday and im goin to work all day  not good ,2.0
41327,my phones fucked up  i tried to update it to  and suddenly it wont turn on and it wont restore feeeeeeeck  im gonna cry seriously,2.0
41328,dougiemcfly want me to walk with you  x,0.0
41329,just woke up soo tired ,2.0
41330, are you the police or something lol i really dont like too many questions ,2.0
41331,namjesus thank you for telling  im so sad rn omg,1.0
41332,i did something fucking stupid tonight ill keep it short and sweet tonight i was listening to music in my car like i do sometimes to try and keep my mind off shit and for some reason i just couldnt do it tonight my mind was screaming at me and i couldnt take it ive never really done self harm before and im kind of shocked that i did what i did i took out my pocket knife and i cut myself  times i pressed pretty hard and dragged the knife slowly my arm is bleeding but not very much i dont know why i fucking did this im not entirely sure i care all i know is it was stupid and i probably shouldnt have done it,3.0
41333,capnnarcolepsy well get skinny together lets have a quotbiggest loserquot contest ,0.0
41334,has to do boring science homework ,2.0
41335,woops forgot to write summerlouiser my bad ,0.0
41336,angrypotato dammit i know how that feels like it just sucks all the motivation right outta yah ,2.0
41337,rt femitheist mens suicide prevention campaignsuicide stayalive mentalhealthdepression health ,1.0
41338,love watching paddington bear on youtube brings back memories ,0.0
41339,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,2.0
41340, as ive gotten older ive developed really bad anxiety when it comes to driving its the worst,2.0
41341,caffeinelove sometimes other times they make me cranky ,2.0
41342,rt poppysmission ▫🍃ℹ🍁all or nothing or black and white thinking amp depression⚬the fight or flight response⚬trauma ptsd ,1.0
41343,getting really tired  zzzzzzzzz,2.0
41344,tricil unless theyve changed the policy unfortunately not ,2.0
41345,back from the park pistol and yogi are thoroughly worn out and sleeping now yay for happytired dogs ,0.0
41346,courtneypraise  i started crying when i woke up this morning just thinking about it i knew it was over and you were headed home ,2.0
41347,guess i best get back  wrki overstayed my half hour break long enough big sigh  ,2.0
41348,my lakers are  nba chamions ,0.0
41349,im all stuffed up  we should do something tommorow lets go play frisbee and go on a walk and just relax i think the answer is yes ,0.0
41350, its a great ad  i blogged it and its been a popular post for last few weeks look of love is also a great song of course ,0.0
41351,its gonna be a good day my hair looks sweet and im going to teach the class about the sharks so that theyll want to save them too ,0.0
41352,eating turkey gullash brushing teeth cleanin up dvr friday night smackdowncant wait ,0.0
41353,being happy is just not worth it everytime im slightly happy something happens to bring me back down i dont even get excited about things anymore,3.0
41354,i want followers ,2.0
41355,just woken up  has geography today ,2.0
41356,goodnight world  im turning off my phone cause i forgot my charger in kaneohe,0.0
41357, error now  blah having to register a repair with ms ,2.0
41358,leeannlav and all it has shown me is that some men are really sad and my gm thought it was okay to employ an abuser,1.0
41359,epicflailer gulps you are teeeeeasing me it is not nice ,2.0
41360,nureachglobal thanks  same to you have a great day ,0.0
41361,holidays for me noware just too exp to pay for ,2.0
41362,maratheparth they should have let ayer work with what he did not pressure him or alter his visioni mean i hat ,1.0
41363,mcflyinggirl  ummm yh i got science homework too do ill do that a  bit later all i wanna do now is relax lol x ,0.0
41364,sun is shining the weather is sweet yeah ,0.0
41365,sineadycullen yo yo yiggety yo how u doing best friendy still on the getting better train  x,0.0
41366,sad  girls  club ,2.0
41367,is recovering from a horrible  day migrane ,2.0
41368,too lazy to go out  lunch ,2.0
41369,northorn  thanks for putting me on such a fine list ,0.0
41370,rt  and so the depression is kicking in,2.0
41371,after  months in a crescent i think im falling down again last year i was really depressed taking strong medicines and trying my best not to kill myself so my family and friends wont suffer as much as me since december i was getting so much better and simply enjoying lifehowever unfortunately i think im slowly falling down to my hole sweet hole of depression and isolation this week specifically i couldnt freaking charge my mobile until todays afternoon after i realize i had to talk with someone or id get crazyjust wanted to put this out of my head ,3.0
41372,michaelsargent and an older one who needs maintenance like the sbr horse i just twtd add about   ,2.0
41373,crulez my body hurts nd idk why ,2.0
41374,in bed early day tomorrow who wants to be up at  am on a sunday ,2.0
41375,melbourne won by  points ,2.0
41376,i might fail my class ive never dealt with anything like this before ive managed to maintain straight as throughout all of my college experience and now im almost to the end but this semester ive been struggling to stay focused and turn out work although i still feel like ive been mostly atop thingsbut then you have this one class theory of risk its killing me inside im majoring in actuarial science so risk management is something ive been tested on ive taken some of the hardest exams around but this class is breaking me i cant learn properly from how its taught and i dont have anything i can use to practicei got a c on my first exam and i failed my last one ive never failed an exam in my life and this whole thing is making me wonder if im really as smart as i thought and what im going to do if i fail i dont know if im failing because im losing it or if i didnt have it to begin with my gpa has felt like the only thing about myself that i can take pride in and if i lose that i dont know what ill do not to mention my scholarshipim almost done with college im so close to the end so i dont know what this had to happen now,3.0
41377,ncberzerker krisbotha  does that do it for ya ,0.0
41378, definitely should have  you are always welcome ,0.0
41379,rt  opened  anniversary lootboxes and all i got was depression ,2.0
41380,lyndel the only thing you can do air dry ,2.0
41381,  twitter wont let me send replies today  boo hoo,2.0
41382,if you are struggling know you are not alone hey all ive mostly been a lurker on reddit but today is the day i get this off my chest i browse this sub and similar subs and my heart hurts for those who are in pain and i rejoice when those of you find yourselves better than you were the last day ive struggled with my own mental illnesses throughout my life and have seen friends and family suffer the same unfortunately this last january my best friend lost his battle with his he came home from work after a seemingly normal day and ended it all i was back at college preparing for the next semester when my brother called and told me the news my mind shut off and my legs were shaky i couldnt breathe and the world around me seemed to collapse my parents were there with his parents and held his had as he officially passed in the hospital i spoke at his funeral i cried when i saw more than  people fill a large chapel making it look small he was the best he was loud funny quirky off his rocker and  no matter what it wasive known him since i was  years old he was two years older than me so it was like he was my big brother we didnt keep in touch often but just like with my blood sibling i knew what he was doing and he knew where i was every time i came home from college he was there in whatever we were doing as these days go on and i miss my friend dearly i think back on the little things day by day i have these reminders of him through everything i do i remember the times we used to spin ourselves sick on the merrygoround as i pass local playgrounds i remember the time he told me nazareth was this dope band even though i knew hed never heard them when i place their record on the turn table i remember his stance and smile he had when i was trading him my steve maddens for his chacos but at the end of the day i remember he is not here anymore i remember that there will be no more cigars on the porch i remember there is no more sandwiches and beer at his favorite sandwich shop i remember that his friends and his family dont get to go on with his contagious laugh my life will forever be duller without himi wanted to tell all of you this i wanted to let you all know that this world will forever be duller without you i wanted to tell you that even though you feel alone and you feel like no one is there for you  you matter to someone without you there will be no more of the little things there will be no more smiles there will be no one like you no one can fill the hole that you will leave if you are struggling please please please get help im pleading with you if you feel the way my friend felt put yourself in my shoes and imagine your best friend gone i am here to struggle with you theres no need to end it i am putting myself out there for you call  the suicide hotline if you ever have the feeling please dont go we will all miss you i will be posting this on other similar subs,3.0
41383,mattnhodges you sure do know how to kick someone when theyre down ,0.0
41384,ddlovato ill vote for u bc u deserve the awards  i ♥ u so much demiu amp ur music mean the world to me without u id be nothing pls rely,0.0
41385,stuck in another  hour car ride back to msk ,2.0
41386,doing my nails ,0.0
41387, good luck cuz i only made it once round the track ,2.0
41388,working today this office freezing my toes cold cardigan at home ,2.0
41389,fedex why are you so slow ,2.0
41390,genobaby oooo u and your phones ,0.0
41391,anxiety is no joke,1.0
41392,alls i need is my bf to come home and hold and play with my hair until i fall sleep so for that amount of time i c httpstcofuuqwpussj,2.0
41393,rt rocksolidcross cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you  peter  ,2.0
41394,lol  side job start but yuck this one is kind of ugly ,2.0
41395,shaundiviney haha thx xd omg thx for replying i hope you call me ,0.0
41396,im a fucking idiot after a long time of moping around and just wanting to die after my whole life went wrong i came up with the idea of starting over in a better country and getting rid of everyone in my life ive struggled with researching how to do that and ended up deciding itd be easier to hire some immigration agency to help me specially because the degree validation seems to be a huge hassle and i cant wrap my head around iti ended up getting a positive reply from a canadian agency and i even tried paying them  but thank goodness my bank was refusing the payment for a stupid reason that i found out later i say thank goodness because the whole thing was a scam i nearly lost a significant amount of money thatd have my family hating me even moreim way angrier at myself than at the scammers i took the bait because beforehand i had read a review about them but it turns out that even the review was a part of the scamonly sheer luck saved me from my own stupidity,3.0
41397,my strategies to fight depression hi everyone i hope this doesnt come off as a thanks im cured post ive struggled with concurrent moderate depression ptsd and anxiety  for  years i think of my depression as a black dog as it is always following me but not constantly present im lucky in that way i wanted to share how im doing and check in with myself and this sub ive posted here in the past when i was really struggling and have finally started working on my depression here are some strategies ive learned that i think could help othersknow your triggerseveryones depression is unique often entangled with trauma ptsd invalidation etc i have found that identifying and writing down my triggers has been a good step it allows me to acknowledge that im not perfect and that these certain things have a known way of setting off my depression for me it has everything to do with family family gatherings reminiscing on my childhood kids etc by knowing that these things usually send me into a tailspin i can prepare for them a little better and even try to fight the expected outcomerecognizing and naming each bad feeling and isolating the reason whythis is a new one for me usually i could be having a great week and then suddenly i get sad then my mind takes over and i get even sadder thinking about my depression i think to myself wow this is always going to be a problem isnt it and then the cycle starts itself overinstead ive been trying to name what im feeling a feelings chart works great for this for instance yesterday i felt great in the morning i got a lot of stuff done and accomplished by the afternoon however i started to feel less elated and more sad i stopped myself from the usual thought of here comes my depression again and thought to myself no im actually just physically tired im fatigued i then try to let myself feel that specific emotion i try to not bully myself for turning everything into a depression questjournalingthis is also new to me but strange how much it actually helps there are times when it feels like no one gets it when the bullying thoughts become overwhelming when your mind tells you no one wants to hear this this is the beauty of a journal youre talkingto yourself you can get it all out let your mind wander from one chasm to the next you can scream in all caps you can relive a memory you can ask why you can at least get it out and not feel judged for it and sometimes you might be crying and shaking writing this stuff down but its so important to not hold this stuff in and punish yourself for itive found that keeping a journal on my computer has been much easier to get it all out because my hand starts to cramp when handwritingwatch read and soak in other peoples storiesgetting insight into other peoples head has helped me stop isolating it has helped me understand that each of us has a struggle each of us has a perspective and that each of us have self doubt ive found a lot of solace in memoirs podcasts are wonderful im also partial to indie films and find that they can often tackle these things well recently ive discovered big little lies on hbo and am amazed with their portrayal of ptsd and anxiety hearing another persons perspective has this amazing ability to widen your thoughts and seek community in your feelingslook to the futuremake a plan and allow yourself to dream try your hardest not to defeat yourself imagine the future and think about how much wiser this will all make you after all you have been through so much know that things might not get easier but that you can learn and grow and get excited about things you have permission to imagine a better life for yourself dont let your depression talk you out of italso make a vision board seriouslywork on forgivenessdepression has a unique way of making you feel inadequate it makes you question your own thoughts and motivations it makes you bully yourself heres something that was pointed out to me recently in whatever times of perceived failure and chaos you were doing your best and you have done your best this entire time trust yourself and drill it into your head that you are doing your best you are coping with a terrible terrible disease that causes so much hurt likely youre dealing with past trauma and stress and loss and grief and all these difficult things youre only human you can forgive yourself you can congratulate yourself youve done so muchbe honest with yourselfdepression doesnt just stop trauma doesnt unhappen but you can change your own reality now i know this is starting to sound like some selfhelp bullshit but it really is the truth depression gets better when you work on it it gets easier when you talk about it let stuff out and make changes its really really hard i have spent a lot of time wishing for a magic wand that could abracadabra away this painthe honest true reality is that you are the decider of your own destiny you have to make these changes and challenge your selfdoubt you have to look your depression in the eye and fight it or at least tryseek professional helpi know that therapy isnt accessible to everyone i also know that therapy doesnt appeal to everyone but the truth is you will hear this advice over and over especially on this sub because it is good advice a therapist psychiatrist or a really good friend can help you see things you didnt even notice they can point out things that will make you say aha look for groups search psychology today for therapists and start reaching out sometimes therapists offer a slidingscale that allows you to pay at your income level dont rule it out a lot of the strategies that ive listed here have come from therapy it is really hard and intimidating to tell a stranger things that you dont even want to admit to yourself but it helps it really doesthank you to anyone who read through this i wish you the best of luck and i want you all to know that were in this together depression is a terrible thing but you are not a lost cause no matter how much this disease will tell you that,3.0
41398,friendsofclari shell be better in no time with the love and attention from both of you ,0.0
41399,mrmarty id love to but i dont have  here  its down south  kidney,2.0
41400,should call rachel tomorrow and then we can hang out and be awesome ,0.0
41401,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
41402,evaulian so you are saying quoti like you but not enough to write something nice about youquot  ha,0.0
41403,seeing up with elliot yay ,0.0
41404,geoffliving  sure youre not following me  so i assume you will email me deets vanessafrenchatgmaildot  comthxs for thinking of me,2.0
41405,just a little venting my problems are shit in comparison with what many of you are going through however i hope to find somebody who has the same feelings as i havei hate myself i dont believe i should be born im an unexpected child why they would make me if they already have a lazy but handsome and smart son why i should live with my chest bones pressed inside my body making my posture fucked up and making heart jumping out of my chest wherever im trying to stretch and walk like a simple man why do i have the face of the fucking ape my jaw is short chin is short and narrow hairline receded  why didnt you mentioned my ugliness before mother i look like an oldman in my  i have a bad bite my teeth are in pain but its late to change something i hate my clumsy fingers thin wrists nails eyes thin dick weak frame i dont look at mirrors anymore ive uninstalled ones in my room and accidentally broke one in anotherim full of envy i hate that im not like those guys and girls hanging out together having love in their young time and im not ive never been loved by somebody one shit used me to make another guy jealous by hey look im dating this shit look at me acting i have bad jokes awkwars conversations i dont look in anybodys eyes its creepy for them i have a dark soulim studying as much as i can but only because im afraid to die already i dont know when i will decide to do it but i see nothing but soundell void after death and im afraid of it,3.0
41406,missing someone special  nunya biz who it is p,2.0
41407,keatwave we purchased  had  before that amp then won the xbox so id consider myself unbiased amp xbox just blows the  away sadly ,2.0
41408,i need to go to my piano lesson soon  well after today i dont have one for  weeks or something like that,2.0
41409, yeah rub it in wish i was there ,2.0
41410, i have a lot of positive associations with wow because it kept me happy and focused at a time when my depression was at its worst,1.0
41411,why is my phone not receiving texts ,2.0
41412,please work sims  apartment life expansion pack ,0.0
41413,shoutoutto jimjonescapo for helping me figure out my purpose  thank you yo,0.0
41414,theres no point in being alive unless youre rich be a glorified wage slave for shitty low end jobs make garbage money barely scrape by never accomplish your dreams misery  hrs a week every week shitty fake friends and family that dont care about me i dropped out in the  grade adhd kept me from learning hate myself and my entire life im in too deep of a pit and i cant get out everythings holding me back i wish i were a girl so bad i dont even like my body let alone my shitty personality ill never make music its too hard for me to learn it and i have no talent it truly feels like there is no reason to not kill myself this life simply isnt worth it if you werent born rich or into a successful family i cant afford happiness why exist,3.0
41415,whats wrong with me i cycle so quickly so ive been tracking my mood for two months now and ive been noticing a pattern i tend to cycle every  or  weeks where i become severely depressed or extremely optimistic its so tough to explain but i rapidly cycle between these emotions and its becoming draining and mentally exhaustingi dont have health insurance so i cant see a therapist unfortunately i think that i need to see a professional and meds to control my symptoms right now im in a depressive phase and my head is pounding nothing i do cheers me up or brings me to a place of genuine happiness ive been like this since i can remember and i just want to give up feeling like this and experiencing these cycles is exhausting i just want peace,3.0
41416,perfumes new album quot⊿quot triangle coming july   ,0.0
41417,rafael i havent had my moms home cooking in over a year ,2.0
41418, sounds like a plan and a half am free friday though should really be studying for theory test  or sunday night,2.0
41419,i want to attend a rave sometime soon but with ac on my ass it is very hard to plan for anything bah i want to hit the tampa one bad ,2.0
41420,davedevereux ive been going through season by season  this was  x  towards the end of season five,0.0
41421,tonight i googled how to make your apt feel like home and the first result to pop up was the suicide prevention p ,0.0
41422,titicuervo  and i thought youd come to austin to see me and fascat ,2.0
41423,work drama  every day ive come in here the past six months ive seriously wondered if id have a job at the end of the day ,2.0
41424, have just discovered that therere some tweets missing on my tdcrosschecked w n the  ure referring tos missing as well ,2.0
41425,tidesandclouds im not allowed to move out of state at the moment lolol ,2.0
41426,wincottm he he he raw toast ,0.0
41427,yay for the saints  and  club record ,0.0
41428,leovader is getting his junk all over my dress ,2.0
41429,my crush is in a relationship im an  yo guy im depressed and not very great in social situations for the past year i have been crushing on this girl j  at my school she is intelligent kind and also a bit socially akward my best friend l  is also her best friend i feel like i can talk about anything with l and shes the only friend that i talk about my depression with three weeks ago i told her about my crush i didnt before because l used to be into me a while back and i didnt want things to be akward between her and her friend she isnt into me anymore and is in a relationship so i told her about my crush and that i thought that she was way out of my league and she told me that j was really into me before and that she told her that she thought i was attractive a week before i was really happy of course for the first time in two years and wanted to ask her out i didnt because my friend told me that she had a date later that week i thought that it would be shitty of me to ask her out knowing that so here we are three weeks later shes in a relationship and i feel like shit i know its selfish to feel bad about the situation i wanted her to be happy and she is happy i dont really know what to do now i know there is really nothing that i can do but i needed to vent about it i know how childish this whole thing is i also drove her and another friend back from school regulary on my way back home and im not sure if i should keep on doing that i feel like i should probably keep my distance but i also dont want her to feel bad shes still a good friend of mineim just a fucking idiot for not noticing,3.0
41430,mileycyrus best quote ive heard the climb makes me cry  i love it my friend amp i made a video  to your song ,0.0
41431,studing for english  work ,2.0
41432,loving the sunshine  out with kelly later text,0.0
41433,im lost and i dont know who to turn to ive had depression all my adult life almost  years ive been on different medications and have had counselling throughout this time im  now but my depression hasnt got any better despite all the help ive been given i feel like its my fault that nothing has worked ive tried everything i feel tired all the time i have no motivation to do anything i just feel like a lazy waste of space i feel like there is no point in making an appointment in seeing my gp they have run out of things to suggest,3.0
41434,reading the draft of midnight sun not as good as i expected sadly ,2.0
41435,i need to put my brain to bed ive been so unproductive today ,2.0
41436,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
41437,i missed my chance to see sal tonight yet again ,2.0
41438,death im laying here in bed and for some reason the thought of death suddenly started to cross my mind as i was trying to sleepi have a very vivid imagination intense anxiety and although ive been suicidal for a very long time this thought scares me   being brought into this world to suffer with no choice and then knowing my life could be taken at any moment and regardless will end no matter what is an unsettling and horrible feeling i dont know how to cope with this reality when the lights finally go out even if i have overdosed a few times and been close to it those were very dissociated and soulless moments i feel so lonely and scared and sad i didnt know where to get this thought out but i wanted to,3.0
41439,june  and its freezing time to bust the long sleeves and jackets back out ,2.0
41440, lol oh that ones good too i really want noww and i have none ,2.0
41441,i crave a family  i have a good job people tell me im pretty and fit even tho i eat just junk food and sedentary i was always the person that tries to make everyone happy ive been struggling for  alone since i broke up a  relationship i never had kids i just cant start a new serious relationship there might be a sign im sending wrong i only had a few interactions and short datings i cry alone at my comfy place i just wish i had a husband and kids a loving family if i die here nobody will care people will find me when i start to stink,3.0
41442,im starved for emotion im eating up all forms of entertainment that make me feel anything good inside since i dont get any of that in real life my life isnt that bad at the moment  it was bad when i was young but not anymore  but i still cant bring myself to do anything im exercising and keeping up with daily things relatively well but the emptiness is unstoppable therefore ive resorted to various forms of immersive entertainment games books etc that give me what life doesnt naturally give i wonder if a lack of general love in early life can cause depression in adulthood too,3.0
41443,gilbirmingham we love you to ,0.0
41444,y is it when i luv someone i fear them i just wish someone can exsplain it  me ,0.0
41445,watching the movie awards cant wiat to start my week tomorrow ,0.0
41446,succumbed to twitter ,2.0
41447,icdiamonds top deck over looking the city good life  what wine club are u and dev in ,0.0
41448,went to the dark side and rooted my  ,0.0
41449,� gossip girl now ,0.0
41450,ill  itchy and nausious s grrrr,2.0
41451,thebluenile just call himher ,0.0
41452,pentropy great job dk ,0.0
41453,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
41454,fcandle i used to have blackberrythen accidently it was fell to the closet ,2.0
41455,katyperry thats what you get for waking up in paris ,0.0
41456,there are only like  dayz left till i go away  gona miss the shiy i do,2.0
41457,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
41458,im done done doneand have a pretty new nail polish on my nails ,0.0
41459,welp my depression came back and in full force struggling i would say that i have been in remission for the last few months not sure if thats the correct term to use i was feeling a lot more motivated more energetic not suicidal or any thoughts of it at all everything was starting to get better recently i have been feeling extremely down and i had a flare up with my health i attribute my depression symptoms to my health issues particularly a  digestive disorder i am also being monitored for an autoimmune disease but im still in the diagnostic process i feel as if i will never get better physically and my mind will always be in this state i feel like my symptoms are way harder this time around i beat myself up because i feel like i shouldnt be feeling this way especially since for the most part my life is in order the only thing is my health issues im angry all the time to the point my blood boils and i just get frustrated when i cant finish or commit to something i start i get upset that my health issues get in the way of everything and just enhance my depression i cant be a normal  year old girl i feel at a dead end and i dont know what else to do ive tried therapy and meds and its just a temporary fix am i always going to feel this way am i just completely broken that nothing works i dont know ,3.0
41460,damn i cant believe i gotta spend the day in bed hates being sick ,2.0
41461,i am better off dead but i can not because parents investments i will not be successful i will be a failure i will be homeless i will dissapoint my parents i will dissapoint my friends i and my selfishness always gets on other people i am a lazy asshat and i always will be i want to stop myself as soon as i can but i cant my mom and my dad spent so much money on food and school for me now im just going to die on them,3.0
41462,iphone update also power outage in the middle of my  best game ever now off to work ,2.0
41463,lesleyer hey lesley wheres the promotion  the album is amazing electrik red deserve success,2.0
41464,michaeljohns problem he doesnt see them as the enemy just a misunderstood friend who needs only quota proper dialogquotblah blah blah ,2.0
41465,ashleytisdale congratulations you deserve ,0.0
41466,i  am starting to feel depressed again after  years on mobile sorry for long post and bad formatting the past few weeks have been shitcontexti was bullied in primary school by people who used to be my friends i was depressed and often thought about suicide once the bullying stopped in year   years ago and i went to highschool i thought that i had overcome my depression as i was happier and wasnt having anymore suicidal thoughts although i had severe social anxietyi have not been a christian since year  because of the bullying and had been struggling with that until a few months ago when i was finally able to admit it to my parentsmy parents are christian and have been together since they were in highschool my dad had cancer when i was  and has chronic back pain as a result and has been basically an absent father my entire life as when he isnt working he is on his phone or sleeping my mum is the mission leader for our churchlast month i went on a mission trip with my mum and brother to indonesia and someone from indonesia came with us to bali for a holiday at the end of the trip before we returned home i went on the trip because my mum had said to everyone at church that i was going before i had told her whether or not i wanted to go and didnt want to embarrass her by not going even though i didnt want tothe person who had come with us has been in contact with my mum for years and they constantly talk to each other and there is an age difference of  yearswhat happenedwhen we came back from the mission trip my mum said that my dad and her were getting a divorce because of some of the things my dad has done and  she has been silently dealing with the fact that she doesnt love my dad anymore she says she has been dealing with this for the last year and that she finally came to terms with having to get a divorce we found out the same day as our dad the next day i went to a friends place and that night i got the most drunk i have ever gotten and hated myself for itmy dad kept coming over and actually started to make an effort in being a part of our lives while also subtlety hinting that part of the reason they were getting divorced was our fault without realizing he was doing itafter a week of processing the divorce i found out that my mum had actually slept with the person who came with us for the holiday and that they want to pursue a relationship together i found out this from my dad who had to actively ask what happened and why the apparent suddenness of it alltoday my dad vented and yelled at us and i had a minor panic attack and realised that i am starting to feel depressed againbefore all this i was really excited to start going to a university that is much closer than the one i went to last year and has a much better course reputation and employability after graduating from there now im finding it difficult to have the effort to do anything let alone go to universityi want to go to a therapist but am afraid to ask as my parents are not going to work because of this and dont have enough money and i dont either,3.0
41467, showing no mercy id do it again  xox,0.0
41468,hello everyone what are your experiences with the antidepressant fluoxetine prozac sarafem etc i know that it can have side effects in the first couple weeks and that it takes a while to have an effect but i just want to know how it affected people did you have side effects how long did they last did it end up helping you,3.0
41469,opss  my head its coming crazy ,0.0
41470,icedivagirl going for a meal with friends in town then raving with the family then going to a fancy dress party with my dance class ,0.0
41471,discovered the van had a dead battery after we loaded everyone up for our fathers day adventures ,2.0
41472,im soooo shortttttttt ,2.0
41473,softball game  hope we win,0.0
41474,depression isnt real just stop being such pussies lying if you kill yourself youll be stuck with the faggots in hell forever so stop being sad,3.0
41475,rt wotherspoont a pleasure to join with community for a ramadan iftar dinner focused on mental health hosted by idiregina along wi ,0.0
41476,officialdhough ps tell your boy mark to get on twitter ,0.0
41477,yestomhughesyes now quotsilence is goldenquot is playing on his radio ,2.0
41478,thunder lightning no rain  fb,2.0
41479,heidicortez  i get that sometimes grilled cheese protein style w grilled onionsalthough the grilled cheese tastes much better w bread ,2.0
41480,troycallaway troy go download bad girlfriend by theory of a dead man so we can listen to it next time i see you ,0.0
41481,cuckhanzo  im so sad about it but i dont know what to do,1.0
41482,mamasbaybeh nahhh my hairs baddd  uh   ,2.0
41483,ok this is getting me annoyed i started a discussion on dacom and another person followed my topic thats call stealing ,2.0
41484,dixiethan youre welcome were glad you enjoy it make sure to tweet at us if youre listeningreading anything cool ,0.0
41485,i cant stand life in general anymore should i run away from home for a few days okay now im trying not to make this sound like yet another angsty teen despite the fact that it is im a  year old girl who is entirely fed up with feeling like shit all the time im constantly sad and anxious and stressed and angry and i really cannot stand anything or anyone at the moment ive suffered from depression anxiety and ptsd in the past but its not bad like it was i have literally nothing to be so angry and sad about yet i still am i should be happy i have a good life im just such a bad person i just cannot do anything anymore im so afraid of letting people down and i am letting everyone down my parents my friends my teachers ive always been good at everything but since my downwards spiral a few years back i just feel like a massive failure all the fucking time and im so so so sick of iti cant do life anymore everything seems so big too big i just want to sit back and watch for a while instead of getting sucked in im not sure what else to do i just want to take a train away to the city and spend time just by myself not thinking about how much i hate myself and my life and the entire fucking world this is some extreme holden caufield type shit here but i dont know how else to explain help do you guys think running away for a few days is okay leaving a note for my parents and coming back in a few days  im sorry if this sounds attention seeking its  im upset and im just really not sure what to do ,3.0
41486,rt islimfit i have found a new and genuine trick of how to avoid traffic and live a stressfree life in lagos you all would find this ve,1.0
41487,rt herbbeauty vitamin  is a human problem omega  are found in seeds and nuts vitamin d is from the sun and meat causes can ,2.0
41488,  new review currently uploading heres a hint ,0.0
41489,stop sakuras memories of team  makes me feel sad ,2.0
41490,denniswright thanks for the plug  its the service i created  glad you like it though,0.0
41491,perdóname this is killing me ,3.0
41492,virginmedia  do we have a date yet for  rollout in nottingham please ,0.0
41493,i am about to put my dog to sleep she is my only real friend i cant really handle this not right now ,3.0
41494,ashleytisdale your performance at the comet awards was great ,0.0
41495,why is my dead week so busy ,2.0
41496,lost motivation for anything now so i stupidly studied hard and got my university degree which is not getting me a jobi didnt party or date during those yearsnow im at point i need to retrain for a careee but im so depressed about this as i feel old and missed out on fun i see and hear about all the things the younger ones are doing parties hooking up etcand here i am unable to party with them as to old and need to study hard againso study hard for what so i can then get a job i need to work hard for what to make money for what well a house and food i guessmeanwhile im getting older and the young ones still out having the fun i missed out on and wheres my fun old guys cant be hanging in the club with young ones just sillygreat ill spend my money on escorts and coke lolso i need to study hard again to get a job that pays well so i can then spend all my money on escorts strip clubs and coke lolwell maybe i should just blow my brains loljust kidding but how can i be motivated for anythingi just want friends and parties but to old now hence only party option is strip clubs reallywhat a shamblesjust cant see the wife kids route working out for me or of any interest at allso i still need funtldr study hard to get hard but well paying job to blow money on hookers and blow lol,3.0
41497,finethere are so many movies  anticipateespecially quotharry potter  thats shown on my birthmonthwooot ,0.0
41498, thank you for the follow friday ,0.0
41499,i read some pretty awesome web comics today and theres nothing really good on woot today  ,2.0
41500,themichellejoh oh and beid and deb said the vegie bar in brunswick fitzroy was really good didnt get a chance to try myself ,2.0
41501,i just found out the my kitty is retardedlitterally  poor little dodger,2.0
41502,sherilynmoon  boy do i have more sexual racist news xxx,2.0
41503,waaaah yes it isi am on dial up are you making fun of me ,2.0
41504,losing my mind first time posting but i feel really lost right now been suffering from anxiety and depression for a while now and my best friend recently just left me and i feel like im losing my mind i feel so overly sad and i dont know what to do if anyone can give me advice id really appreciate it,3.0
41505,   haha  woo  i uhh yeaah  i totally understand  ,0.0
41506, i was so surprised her mother didnt figure that out very sad she needs to move on,1.0
41507, haha blows ur mind lol dubai was awesome lol gonna stop there for a bit when i go to oz too  woo do u have exams in uni atm,0.0
41508,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
41509, or there just popular ,0.0
41510,cutting ma hurr tmrw should i be a copykat and chop it all off or grow it out cant decide ,2.0
41511,savinpvtbrian salemnoire thats sad😂,2.0
41512,iamdiddy  i think you are the only one fan of nelson ,2.0
41513,were the ones who made you bussssing it ,0.0
41514,happiest five months of my life   heres to a million more,0.0
41515,simplyamee  thats pretty bummy  your app was in first so why dont they push another pup to them,2.0
41516,heyy people whats up i am really bord right now ,0.0
41517,tardigrada its really good on coop its a shame jonfire doesnt have xbox live ,2.0
41518,pandathinks like it ,0.0
41519, im not seeing it because i didnt want to go by myself ,2.0
41520,agreenspace wonderful swirl i think i just missed it on my last orbit ,2.0
41521,the most interesting part i think the most interesting part is that no one believes anything you feel because you have a mental illness youre exaggerating youre dramatic and i think the most interesting part is how everytime you try to take you life everyone talks about how important you are and how many lives youd affect if it worked but im not affecting your life now you dont care about me now im a burden now they say you always miss something once its gone and i think suicide is the same way you all took me for granted while i was here didnt care while i was here but you all have the audacity to say id hurt you sooooooo bad if i killed myself then fucking help me now,3.0
41522, i love you too  we love you soo much  that we went  mph  oh guess what our souvenirs was at the prom,0.0
41523,waiting eagerly to get iphone s  checked gmail but alas no mails from apple on order status ,2.0
41524,maikalx some literature can act as a guide line in live and if u can relate then fine if u cant then this book is not  u ,0.0
41525,so sad to hear about david cooks brother adam passingmy thoughts and prayers go out to david and his family ,2.0
41526,tweetieelovee sry i get my s sent to my cell n just txt it back i guess i didnt get that one  lol bt hey least we r chattin lol,2.0
41527,have qcs practice all day  ugh so gross school is soo boring but ya have to stick it out s,2.0
41528,serviced bikestheyre hanging     how bad like  days til fort bill ,2.0
41529,i dont like this no picture thing going on  i feel like i have no identity i like my pictures ,2.0
41530,httpimglyqi she has a thing for plastic bags  iphone,0.0
41531,amberbenson just a tweet from here to there  hopes all is well adn you are keeping not excessivelybusy but happly so ,0.0
41532,soviibby i dont wanna make a facebook but deric wants to change his status to taken but you cant if the partner doesnt have one ,2.0
41533,today has been a very depressing day for me i thought bakersfield would make me feel better instead i wish i could stay away from it all ,2.0
41534,jeremyherbel thats probably a good description for it ,0.0
41535,i hungryyyy so hungryyyyyy  i dined with an ice cream,2.0
41536,rt bestblendz dont replace anxiety depression and chronicpain with addicting and harmful prescriptions step out of the side effect,2.0
41537,taesnowhite so sad 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔,2.0
41538, hey welcome to twitteri love doing the updates but i dont have many followers   lol,2.0
41539,rt moconnectionsuk very very sad to hear about the passing of tomasz stańko such a huge loss,2.0
41540, power outtages here at work dr in middle of oral surgery so its been hectic ,2.0
41541,olgakay   whoa  unexpected way to go olga  ,0.0
41542,jfavreau your gonna give me score updates right  lol,0.0
41543,unstung amen very lucky talaga ako kasi i am friends with all of you thats a good thing  a very good thing  parang lucky  ,0.0
41544,someone come stay with me ,2.0
41545,rt fauldsca see the clear reduction in referral to psychiatry with addition of fht resources for mental health hqontario ,0.0
41546,i cant touch my face d its sore ,2.0
41547,ninnababiiee  woo thanks  jonasbrothersbackonyoutube,0.0
41548,this depression gets the best of me im in my thoughts i dont wanna talk until tomorrow🎶,1.0
41549, goodnight ,0.0
41550, yup then your seein it too we had  in  hour a couple weekends ago weve had high school kids die i ,1.0
41551,we all know you want a pony to ride aaron  and yes ive seen toystory,0.0
41552,dannyjclayton and u too  hahah but seriosly u talked to shaun zzomg woww i wanna do your job  hahaha,0.0
41553,im super tired and kim off till friday is no more ,2.0
41554,rockingla thanks  new work will arrive in a few weeks ,0.0
41555,maka stress gyod ang interneeeeet gtlt,2.0
41556,finally an adventure  loooking for haunted houses and my cow,0.0
41557,xdeebeex kateoshea miss you guys  ,2.0
41558,rt madrecarinosat depression isnt always me looking sad its me letting my room get messy and not putting away any of the clean laundry,1.0
41559,rt sezerberil i̇nsan sadık olmalısözüne sevdiğineçünkü güvenilmeksevilmekten daha büyüki̇ltifattır       ,0.0
41560,we involved in an accidentluckily no one hurt but our car is seriously damage  cancel todays plan,2.0
41561, good question its a pity  that i wasnt there   i live in germanybut the life must go on xd but im sad,2.0
41562,damog because thats what he wanted for his birthday ,0.0
41563,another great day  gonna get my coffe and i´ll be right backand yessun is shining,0.0
41564,dougiemcfly have fun and good luck dougie  xxxxxxxx,0.0
41565,hes gone  im gonna miss him so much bye bram ,2.0
41566,gggkeri yt is being wonky lately as well here ,2.0
41567,empty ive been feeling like there is just a dark cloud over me for months now i cant shake the feeling when it comes over me i feel empty i dont enjoy the things i used to i try to keep structure in my days so that i dont completely lose it but i dont feel i have any identity outside of work and when i come home from work i just stare at the walls and mope around i hate myself for that i wish i could be driven and motivated and happy nothing excites me anymore each day is one day closer to dying i dont know what my purpose is,3.0
41568,going to do my assignments later ,0.0
41569,laurareading haha you must be one of the lucky freaks i however am not ,2.0
41570,louisacatharine will aim for nyc then unless i get some down time before then either way will be a pleasure to meet in person ,0.0
41571,everything is numb this is my first time doing anything like this but its also the first time in my life ive ever felt like this for the past  weeks i feel like everything is just numb for lack of a better word the stress from school has gotten out of hand coupled with my overwhelming anxiety and as of recent pretty intense depression i feel like im just getting through the days with no actual feeling of whats happening days just fade into each other and i end up lying in bed at the end of the day wondering what im even doing which almost always leads to me worrying about whats to come and how im going to get through it things like the weekend or having time to sleep in used to make me at least somewhat happy but now theyre crushed by the feeling that nothing even matters anymore all i feel like im doing now is putting on an act to get through classes and to get my hw done just so people dont ask questions but whenever im alone i just sit here and think about ways to make it stop do i tell someone do i go to another therapist and hope theyd actually help this time i never liked talking to anyone about this kind of stuff because i always manage to convince myself im just complaining and i should just figure it out myself even if i do manage to talk to someone i end up feeling guilty afterwards because they have their own problems why should they have to deal with mine too i could go on for days about all the other feelings i havehad and all of my experiences leading up to this but i cant do that i just hope that at least putting it out there will help somehow seeing other people in similar situations with similar feelings has helped to ease some of the feelings i have but its getting to a point where i cant even tell whats helping anymore,3.0
41572,i wrote that earlier today and my phone didnt send it  sorry for the lack of tweets my poor lil macbook is in the hospital ,2.0
41573,ollynewport adwords vouchers seem to be flying around all over the place at the moment  dont spend it all at once ,0.0
41574,about to watch up we fill up a row ,0.0
41575,spazz i cant wait for the new say anything albummm even though its going to be several months but tbs is this tuesday ,0.0
41576, i feel like im stuck not being able to contribute and its killing me its my first post im  i study electrical engineering and work with angel investors screening tech deals i feel very capable as a person but im frequently breaking down to intense anxieties every couple days i also feel trapped in a system designed to exploit me im currently unemployed and pretty jaded and cant get out of bed and face the music this morningjust a bummerim becoming more interested in human rightsdevelopment and social change as a result of how gross xxxxxxxxx makes engineering and money feel sometimesim helping a preseed company this week thats just an automatic late fee pinger for small businesses to use against customers overdue invoicesbut they are making a splinter company that exercises some weird legalfinancial voodoo in an attempt to let small businesses profit from lending against their customers by financing a big purchase like a fridgeand the end result is any small business that uses that software can extend credit to customers in a way that if they dont pay their fee on time small claims court is literally just a few clicks awayand the entrepreneur said the point is they may not get paid on time but they will get paidand its just software corralled into being an automatic debt thugand its likeplease let me amount to more than xxxxxxxxxxx creating debt collection softwaretheres got to be a better thing you can do when youre rich than to fund the educated poors attempts to strangle eachotherand no matter how much i try and teach myself to foster any sort of passion for an external project i just keep running into sewers like that no matter where i gonobody is a professional and nobody actually takes global goodwill seriouslynobody wants to change the world for unselfish reasons and nobody takes the time to cultivate their own personal vision of the change they might want to see in the worldim dysfunctional and im falling apart in what feels like every way all the time but i never let go of the idea that those are the right things to doits not ever the healthiest thing to do but its the only thing in the world that ever feels like a justified use of time is trying to understand how to help as many people as possible as much as possible as fast as possibleother things like art money education health and stress relief tie into that because they help me live better and learn faster but most of the time they feel like secondariesa more limited perspective wouldve allowed me to feel satisfied with my contribution to society through just designing circuit boards at a desk with some coffee but i questioned the upper levels too repeatedly and started exploringbut now instead everything feels bad weird and impossible i cant shake the idea that i cant get out of this weird membrane of society where im stuck spending insane amounts of money unable to actually work towards a career and unable to prioritize my efforts towards something that can actually produce somethingin school and these classes even if i work and study im not producing anything for anybody the professors are tenured unquestionable in their field and make no attempt to provide a structured consistent predictable or even accurate educational experience the whole thing is a federally and culturally backed racketif my job is student theres no output any energy i put into anything not only doesnt come back in the form of an enriching education the assignments dont even fall on concerned eyes theyre graded by someone else and passed back without any more feedback context or instructioni cant properly engage with the student narrative and it makes my life feel pointless im scared im going to die in the mud in all the chaos of the world after reading all these books and not get anything doneand im also scared im never going to learn how to relax and enjoy a slowerpaced life that isnt centered around the fact ill probably die before  and am unable to conceptualize the idea of notworking foreverand its all a little too much today,3.0
41577, lucky there is no sign of the sun here ,2.0
41578,rt blossomquoted im the type of person who remembers everything when in a relationship with someone like the first day we started talkin,0.0
41579,sunshineodt thanks i think im on the downhill slope nowat i hope i am ,0.0
41580,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
41581,been up for an hour and a half so ill ,2.0
41582,someone has an issue with facebook ,2.0
41583,is playing with my friends ,0.0
41584,natemaingard ta ,0.0
41585,im a disappointment to everyone i want to die i constantly disappoint everyone im not emotional so it feels to other people i care about like i dont give a shit about them which is not true i cant i just cant i really just want to never go out again or speak to anyone and just stop everything i dont know why im like this really why do i have to be that problematic,3.0
41586,at jw level  doing admin work love it  ♥,0.0
41587,got firefly on dvd watching it now to fuck ,0.0
41588,hanzhimeng you wanting to learn objectivec to become an iphone developer ,0.0
41589,ecstewart had the session yesterday and it went in directions i secretly hoped for but was scared of as well  will share more soon,0.0
41590,its the little things i may or may not have been suffering from depression since the start of puberty i have never been in therapy long enough to find out either as an adolescent or adult sure as a teen i was placed on psychopharmaceuticals but again i never stayed in treatment long enough to really understand what is going on with my mind the drugs were for various things and im not sure anyone who prescribed them never talked to me long enough to make a proper assessment of my needs nevertheless of all the things that could be or could have been going on with me mentally i would not be surprised if depression was at the center i have always had a problem with getting out of bed so much so that i used to think of sleeping as my super power lately i just wonder if the incessant desire to do nothing and waste away is just pure laziness i ruminate on my failures ie such as this laziness and generally would characterize myself as apathetic or if im feeling generous at least ambivalent about life it makes it hard to be decisive about anything and thus hard to live up to this infinite amount of potential i am told by so many that i supposedly possess i am also pretty unreliable in a lot of small ways particularly if only i am holding myself accountable i do fear disappointing authority figures who i respect it also very easy for me to discard people or the idea of people even if i need or care in some way for them despite deeply desiring to connect i sometimes can get very in my head during social situations and literally feel like my personality is locked in by the anxiety all of these behaviors and thoughts are exacerbated by a change in my environment like a move which i just did across the country for a new job that i dont know if i want to make a career anyway that gives some context of where i am coming from i dont know officially if i have depresssion but i probably do so today was somewhat signifcant i just wanted to share that i got so much done today i actually woke up before my second alarm exercised made a work appointment on time finally ran an errand i have been meaning to do for at least a month started on two work tasks rather than procrastinating and met my diet goals like eating healthy at home if i get to bed by my bed time tonight i might end the day guilt free and fall asleep thinking of todays small successes rather than failures in which i give in to my weighty malaise sometimes its just the little things that give me a glimpse of what normalcy could feel like i know millions of disciplined people all over the world do these things everyday but i really needed to share that i too did them today thanks for reading,3.0
41591,this list of movies is fun  so far only  but im not close to being done ,0.0
41592,i hate myself ive recently turned  but its only been a couple months since my outburst of the past  or more years of self loathing ive began to hate every fibre of my being to the point of harming myself but yet i still dont know why i have a good family yet ive been close to ending it at times where im given even a second to think by myself its always i wish i could just poof out of existence if i could have the option to swap my life with someone who had something like cancer i would do it with no second thought i guess one reason why this is the case is that i know i will not amount to anything to the point where i have already decided a selfish choice for when i turn  and i still feel close to anything like this i will end it there and my resolve to do this is the the most firm choice ive ever made that nothing will sway it when it comes  feels long but if i can manage  years of hate i can manage another  at this point ill just be rambling on but theres so much built up in my mind that i cant express it into text and its  i guess people with the smallest voices have the loudest mindswell anyway thanks for reading a short bland summary of the hatred i have towards me living,3.0
41593,its rare indeed that an aggressive dog is a dominant dog most cases of aggression are triggered by fear ,0.0
41594,suisidal thoughts i am not sure if this is the right place to put this but i just kind of need to get it out there if thats okay ive been depressed for as long as i can remember sometimes more then others but its kind of always been there lately it has been really bad in the daytime i am almost numb if that makes any sence and then some nights more frequently as of late it all comes crashing down and i get really bad suicidal thoughts i am at my breaking point and dont know what to do i am a but scared but also know that it might just be for the best ,3.0
41595,swearimnotpaul least i can do to prove im not a lying swine ,0.0
41596,every time i get a blip of happiness im again reminded of the million reasons as to why i should be sad why cant i just be comfortable with myself for once cant i just be content can i take some pride in the failure that i am for once in my fucking life,3.0
41597,many thanks to andylopata for a very useful chat on online personal branding ,0.0
41598,i thought i had a good day today now im crying again and want to die i felt alright today for the first time in a while i enjoyed myself sorta now ive suddenly been hit with emotions and its weighing heavily on me my chest feels weird im crying i feel terrible ive always wanted to die but recently ive been thinking about actually attempting i dont want to live like this i want to be happy but i really dont deserve it,3.0
41599,kitty is going live soon check it out and catch a critter stress testing brimstone brawlers with friends,0.0
41600,just left kristins  what wiill the night bring,2.0
41601,but i like that way of thinking have a good weekend old maid take care of that knee and get a massage  ,0.0
41602,realised this morning that ive lost my wedding band last seen on wednesday so sad hopefully it will pop up by itself ,2.0
41603,at home for a bit after kristens prom  great night,0.0
41604,cootertv i actually dont know the answer to that ,2.0
41605,crixlee hmm looks like spymaster is in public beta now  nevertheless thanks for the invite  ,0.0
41606,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
41607,yogaarmy its been a fiesta fabulous day   thank you everyone  all the love amp nice emails   fiestamovement,0.0
41608,rt violinassassin depression is a battle but this is myarena and i will fight till the end  i will not go down that same path again ,0.0
41609,doweewon im sad i never got one appar they do a vegan one,2.0
41610, meee too fml ,2.0
41611,artisticdreams  love sprinkles ¸¸♥☆•♫•¨•∞♥• headache be gone,2.0
41612,i feel extremely depressed unless i exercise tldr  i wake up every day feeling like shit until i exercisedoes anyone else get withdrawal from exercise every morning i wake up and im down in the dumps and just feeling like utter crap like theres no point to anything you all know the gist then i drag myself out of bed and cycle to the gym and train then i feel completely fine positive in fact the greys or blues are completely gone the withdrawal from exercise is worse than the withdrawal from drugs i can go without drugs i cant go without exercise,3.0
41613,basantam lol yeah but now that i think of it im so not cute while drooling amp he may think im a rabid pot hound ,2.0
41614,i just remembered pushing daisies nooooooooo i was too mesmerized by the pretty of ultraviolet in hd and forgot my show ,2.0
41615,conrad is a meanie ,2.0
41616,off to london soon to see sheckler and the etnies team ,0.0
41617,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,2.0
41618,how i feel like an empty shell in a pointless life i hardly have the motivation to get out of bed and i cant remember when i did when im at school i have trouble focusing and paying attention and when i get home i just look for distractions to escape reality and can never focus on doing homework or have the drive for it the only thing i look forward to now is weed and alcohol which i only let myself do once a week so ill still have something to be excited for all i can ever think about is trying harder drugs thatll pull me out of reality even for a little bit my grades have been getting worse and worse and im barely keeping my social life together does anyone know how to keep going doing the tiniest bit of anything feels impossible i always imagine how great it would be if i could just go to a new world or if i could fall asleep and never wake up,3.0
41619,dumb ass school my school went and fired the two elsa therapists because apparently they are redundant the school made up so many lies about them not helping anyone and that they were basically useless i was on track to feeling better with my sessions with one of them but now they got fired and ive fallen back down the deep depression and self harm hole again i also have social anxiety and dont feel confident to see the therapist outside of school and i dont feel confident talking to my parents the lady i saw i had known since getting there and i felt comfortable talking to her and now i have no one i honestly give up with school entirely as if your not feeling very mentally well today and put your head down off u pop for a lovely  hour vacation in solitary confinement the learning hub fuck this shit,3.0
41620,my friend has depression what can i do to help she mentioned that she gets negative thoughts whenever she isnt doing anything most of the time she is surrounded by friends or family who are supportive and understandingshe would keep saying that she is useless because she never had hobbies or passion so i decided to share my hobby with her making paper cranes she said she cant do it  times before she even tried i guided her and shed say she cant do it whenever she got stuckafter hearing that alot i snapped and yelled at her that she isnt putting any effort and she can do it but doesnt want to try i know i fucked up i shouldnt have done that maybe she wasnt interested in it and i was forcing heri apologized today but havent heard back from her yeti am always there for her when she needs to talk i always check up on her what else can i do to help should i not have tried to introduce her to my hobby i thought that might keep her busy since she doesnt have any hobby of her own,3.0
41621,udachi or your number asap ,0.0
41622, no  we got to the tattoo place  late but we r going this weekend woot woot,2.0
41623,softthistle stayed up about  hours too late takes coffee thanks i needed that ,0.0
41624,inlovewitharmy  i have leader ship training ,2.0
41625,i really like this whole fatherdaughter thing ,0.0
41626,i hope they dont jack my soap ,2.0
41627,well i am back it was a good run went through a nice phase of feeling good and feeling positive about my future even met a girl who honestly is the greatest person i have ever met then i was reminded that ill never beat this and im meant to be alone im not good enough for her and she realized it so hear i am alone this time probably for good ,3.0
41628,getting off call me beep me if you wanna reach me   only im not kim possible,0.0
41629,so yeah im going to sleep now updates again later goodbye ,0.0
41630,my favorite spongebob is on  c a m p f i r e s o n g song itll help if you just sing along hmm gotta love spongebob,0.0
41631,mattybulman its a lot mate cos  arnt allowing early upgrades this time therefore i have to pay off existing contract then buy phone ,2.0
41632,trying to understand youre not alone i am in a boarding school and i have been here since september getting to meet new people most of them not even from canada was amazing but now its december and winter fucking sucks i like to snowboard so i guess its not a complete loss anyway i fucking hate this place it is in the middle of nowhere and we only have fucking nothing around us the reason im even here is because i barley passed grade nine at my public school and everybody fucking hated me there my grandma  my legal guardian at the time not anymore was diagnosed with kidney cancer and the family thought sending me away to this place would be a great idea well to be honest ive been getting fucking massive depression storms coming over me since fucking october i swear to god im getting anxiety attacks like fucking mad and i have nobody to love the girl i used to have the biggest crush is now my friend after a bunch of dumb drama shit happened we barley talk at all anymore the girl that i met over snapchat about a year ago works saterdays in the kitchen so being able to see a girl i know and can talk to for at least  mintes in person is amazing but the urge for someone to love grows bigger and stronger everyday and i find myself getting more and more fucking angry as i fucking think about everything that has happend in my miserable life thinking about why i did the absolute fucking dumbest shit and who really cares about me i dont really love this girl like i loved the one before i love her because she is the only thing that can warm my heart up at this point and having that small spark of light doesnt even keep me going the urge of fucking dying is strong and the things i think about doing to myself and others when i get into those weird things is just fucking disgusting i alsways look things up about how to be attractive and be more positive my room mate is the hottest mother fucker though his jaw lince could literally cut diamodns fucking diamonds he has sexy abs biceps and fcuking everything anybody would want i have nothing he has he is so positive about everything and he has the looks only a god could have i dont have that i have terrible hair and i put no effort into anyything because trying to do stuff i dont care about is not possibe for me i have no way of leranign things because im too stupid to ask questions i am the dumbest person you will meet i am anti social as fuck but i want to be able to talk to people jsut small talk or something so i fucking have friends i cant live anymore i dont want to this is painful there are so many things wrong with me i cant do this dont tell me im not alone because fucking christ no shit sherlock i dont care if you do or dont understand  i j ust need somebody to fucking tell mne how saying youre not alone is supposed to make me feel better i want to dream and stay that way insanity is good enough fuck off help,3.0
41633,i think i might hit the hay pretty soon because barely anyone is talking to me ,2.0
41634,anjxoxo  ,2.0
41635,had a fun time tonight ,0.0
41636,thesubways it was sooooo amazing in berlin yesterdaywow and billyyour sexy body i touched him xd  wuhhaa xd love love love,0.0
41637,i love phone updates  i now have a video recorder lol,0.0
41638,im so seeing wolverine again ,0.0
41639,bought some new shoes today ,0.0
41640, ̗̀  ways to deal with depression without taking pills  ̖́ lacey laceystips  polyvorestyle,1.0
41641,getting ready for work till  ugh ,0.0
41642,tarunmatta am using bing goign great so far ,0.0
41643,five days ago we were waiting to see the jonas brothers and demi lovato im sad ,2.0
41644,whats your depression food what do you tend to eat when youre too depressed and just dont feel like cooking i tend to just eat microwaved popcorn  or quesadillas or just toast with peanut butter sometimes ramen,3.0
41645,why cant i like hack into myself and delete the program that gives me social anxiety lol,1.0
41646,my eyes hurt ,2.0
41647,i often find myself starving but not eating anything because i have to leave my room and see my family in order to get something to eat its just the cherry on top of the feeling of being trapped in this fucking room,3.0
41648,im tired iam tired i dont fucking know what to do  i feel so empty why this isnt me anymore i dont wanna go to crowded places i just want to sleep all day im stress eating what is happening to me help ,3.0
41649,are there emergency depression meds when someone is having a panic attack a hospital will often give them a shot of something to bring down their heart rate etc is there anything like that for depressionim having one of the most serious episodes ive ever had in awhile its so bad that im making plans but im not ready yet i figured i would be carrying things out later in the year but i have these awful thoughts and every inch of me is in pain it literally feels like im crawling in my skin my chest is heavy i just need something to suppress this crazy feeling for a little bit until i can get things in order,3.0
41650,pet society wont load ,2.0
41651,rodomontade   totally huge lol ,0.0
41652,sirfmayur hehe well lots of things going for us its a good year till now ,0.0
41653,still sleepy bored already but ready freddy for the day ,0.0
41654,rt siptuhealth siptu secures agreement on payment of community allowance to mental health nurses  ,0.0
41655,salisantosh id vote for linkedin twitter and facebook currently ,0.0
41656,i dislike cooking greatly ,2.0
41657,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
41658,concerned my depression is going to get worse i am starting next semester with classes on tuesday and thursday from  and working desk shifts at my university from  i made another bad mistake of doing an internship on mwf from  my oncampus therapistcounseling center hours are only from  and i am really concerned that i will not be able to see my counselor i have gotten better slightly over the past  years and i am scared it is going to come tumbling down this semester what should i do i have not told my counselor yet that i wont be able to see her at all next semester and i do not know what i could do to make time ,3.0
41659,kimmykayes do you need a hug little lady ,2.0
41660,beerawk saw the classic ob cage amazing didnt get a chance to get all the data backups underway however ,2.0
41661,just finished tubing down euharlee creek and part of the etowah river good times now its time to grill out ,0.0
41662,help me please  m ik young age to be depressed or at least my parents say so  i have had a happy life till around i was  where i started getting slightly sad then every year more and more sad i have a friend to cheer me up but my shit school separated us to make more friends which didnt help ive been wanting to tell my parents but im afraid they will make fun of myor say that im wrongove had some new friends but not any best friends and i usually have suacidle thoughts and i cant go to therapy cuz my parents wont allow same thing with meds please help me,3.0
41663,khloekardashian you look so pretty khloe i love the mic with the pink bling ,0.0
41664,how long does it take to tell someone if theyve got the job or not  a week and still counting ,2.0
41665,twitter me this haha oh my god i cant believe ive been sucked into this here we go stay tuned ,0.0
41666,waynentampa i think i will study languages in naples english spanish and japanese ,0.0
41667,abideedles  sorry u had a long rough night i know all about those  love the nekkid baby tho ,0.0
41668,clarkgirlcharm yes  castle time tomorrow,2.0
41669,just like to mention the drive took me  then had to take the bf to work at  tis morning ,2.0
41670,clouboutin u shut up lol yall got a bitch twisted with that damn strawberry blonde shit lmao bye bitch  dont call me ,0.0
41671, early  dms loli jus got in bed i miss my husband thoi wish he knew  ,2.0
41672,got extremly wet today so that is summer gone then ,2.0
41673,baileighann just call me whenever youre free ,0.0
41674,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
41675, yeah sorry about the anxiety ,2.0
41676,rt emilameee how many depression naps can i get away with until my parents start asking questions literally ,2.0
41677,back to twitter againstill waiting for quotthe summitquot ,0.0
41678,studying for my last final  started it all off with a bay cities sandwich though so its automatically a good day  ,0.0
41679,my drinking im a sloppy drunk i cant go to sleep without a drink as soon as i wake up i need a drink its a huge accomplishment if i go a day dry i completely deserve all the pain in my body my drinking has been a huge problem in my life for many years i probably have early stages of cirosis i dont know how im going to manage my drinking im such a cruel person,3.0
41680,jeremy jeremy jeremy honestly buddy lol i would date you but i dont qualify for one reason i dont have a penis lol loves you ,0.0
41681,i dont know what to do hi im  and this quarantine is horrible i was barely able to do my  work while being forced to go to school everyday and now all my teachers are emailing me with new online course schedules and i just cant do it everyday i keep telling myself that tomorrow im going to start my homework or read that book ive been meaning to or take my dog out for a walk but rather that do things i need to do i wake up in the late afternoon and lie down all day and stay up late watching movies that ive already seen over and over again i dont want to hurt myself anymore so instead ive just been getting high and smoking cigarettes and i stopped taking my medication i have an autoimmune disease i almost want to get this virus i dont know why but i feel like itll fix things and i feel so horrible and stupid for wishing that and i know it doesnt make any sense but i dont know i want to get sick maybe as a way to avoid the things i have to do maybe as a way to make people feel bad for me and so that my struggle doesnt just exist within my head i want to graduate but i just feel like i cant do any of itcan anyone hear me,3.0
41682,i want to crumble right this minute ive been battling depression since i was  im  now and im still battling it every single day and it beyond exhausting ive screwed up my life in the process but have been doing better the past yeat or so im always quitting every thing i start i never finished high school and quit jobs when they would get to to be too much for me when i was having a really bad episode today is one of my bad days i work mid shift to close at fast food as a manager which means im there until midnight or later closing down everything i have chronic back pain which doesnt help my crippling depression anyways i stayed over my mils house last night after a long shift and my son was up all night which is usual and i dont get really get sleep im so immensely depressed i havent been able to get out of bed for long my sons father woke me up at noon to take care of our son while he did some yard work for his mom and everyone keeps making comments like youre just gonna sleep all day you havent even gotten out of bed yet i woke up to bathe and feed my son and i put him down for a nap when he woke up i brought him downstairs and handed him over to his grandmother because im just not emotionally or physically able to do it today i go back upstairs back to bed and google how to cope with depression without support them she walks in laughing and says youre going back to sleep again i want to sink into the deepest crevices of the ocean i tell her im not sleeping and she tells me she bought me shoes which make me feel even worse then she walks away and says hard to be working huh i just want to die to be honest i am of no value to anyone in my life      as im typing this the father of my son comes in and tells me im selfish with my feelings and pain and i bring nothing emotionally which i dont i dont know why im alive if anyone read to rhe end thank you im sorry for ranting ,3.0
41683,gainersocal i know right now it thinks the headphones are plugged in ,2.0
41684,why fred its so damn freacking funny  i wanna be like him ,2.0
41685,will to live currently i have zero motivation to not kill myself so im just kinda whiteknuckling my grip onto life until my depression dies down a bit ive been stuck in cyclical thought loops for several weeks now and at this point im just tired of having to deal with depression ive been depressed for upwards of  years and all of the signs point to a life long battle with it so what do yall do to hang on when you feel like theres no reason to live,3.0
41686,stephaniepratt  when they were singing their own praise they seemed to have forgotten a  letter word  karma  i hope they get home safe,2.0
41687,uuu twitter de pe blackberry foarte misto dar nu e stilizat ,2.0
41688,rt ndiswapearly between ages  to  its a phase of depression and  babies how are yall doing mentally,2.0
41689,rt halflife lowkey one of my favs 🖤✨ httpstcobdeuhvmdtg,1.0
41690,i called a support helpline for the first time theres not much else to say but im temporarily feeling like a different person i imagine it will get old quick but i never thought id find relief i wasnt crying because of how sad i am i just felt a good type of overwhelmed for being able to open up,3.0
41691,i dont use money to buy happiness i use it to buy off unhappiness ,0.0
41692,wishes she was in tulsa with her best friends ,2.0
41693,i love how some people think they are so clever at hiding things it really makes me chuckle ,0.0
41694,everyone around me is moving on to greater things in  and then theres just me  was a rough year it started off well i left college in late  and found a job at the start of  and i got into a relationship at the same time things were going nicely for a moment i thought i could be happy then i got fired from my job for simply not being good enough at it and it was that setback that led to another and another and another i got another job around april  but due to my previous experience i had my first ever panic attack and that job went out the window too then the same thing happened with another job i gained in around august i tried to get back into education but that was a nogo due to financial reasons mainly then i broke up with my boyfriend late  because i simply didnt love him anymore i wont go too deep into it but personally i think i did the right thing but everyone around me treated me like shit and treated me like the bad guy my friends turned on me my mum made me feel like even more of a screwup than she already did it hurts i gained a lot during  and lost it all in one go because im a stupid fucking idiot honestly i didnt know i was capable of fucking everything up to this degree i now have nothing i have no friends no job no education no dreams no ambitions no motivation i just feel empty like ive lost everything i dont keep in touch with any of my friends anymore but i still see what they get up to on social media and stuff and theyre doing so well in life and it just makes me feel so much worse about myself dont get me wrong im happy for them im happy for anyone who pursues their dreams and achieves their goals but am i selfish for wanting a life like that for myself i know life is like a rollercoaster and we all have ups and downs and you think youd be used to falling down and picking yourself up again but each time you fall it somehow gets harder and feels more pointless like what is even the point in picking yourself up if youre just gonna fall back down again,3.0
41695,in thessaloniki angekommen   c° ,0.0
41696,chrisbrown  anxiety to watch this documentary just like me team breezy expects him to pass the brazil 🇧🇷❤ ,0.0
41697,mileycyrus   hey save some pretty for the rest of us ,2.0
41698,and ellie are tweeting together in biology ,0.0
41699, oh i knowthe cone would have been a disasterand now that the freezing has worn off you can tell it hurts him hes all sucky ,2.0
41700,hes dead ,2.0
41701,in an hour ,2.0
41702,did anyone hear thunder or see lightning last night i didnt ,2.0
41703,i stay up late so i can feel like tomorrow is coming slower than it actually is i dont feel like therapy works well only for an hour after and meditation doesnt do much either any tips to be happier or how to convince yourself not to commit suicide ,3.0
41704,so well i got diagnosed with depression n stuff and i kinda need help so well my doc said i have the symptoms and should have depression well im mostly only feeling down and shit towards the end of the day so i kinda dont believe it but about the motivation and unproductive part i do get that anyways she said that i should go to therapy i really want to but i have no idea what all the things mean and how to choose a therapistshe said i should go to therapiede a german website for therapists but yeah i kinda need help what to look out for and how to chose what and what to chose id be happy if anyone can help me with that,3.0
41705,feeling good today  back to work on dreads dreads dreads again now,0.0
41706,so many channels  so little ongrrr wats the world cumin  ,2.0
41707,tryin to work out money not good financial times ,2.0
41708,my sisters modeling wedding dresses she be fierce ,0.0
41709,  the sun is coming up been driving all night ,0.0
41710,kristopherobin nooooooo dont be a sad boy and dont get a cat im allergic bad allergic ,2.0
41711,the root of my depression is envy envy eats my soul every single day  its debilitating its humiliating to admit too from old friends who found success and happiness to virtuous youtubers who ive come to see as my friends to random couples holding hands at the park its disgusting how my i envy it has to be the ultimate emotional weakness its one of the seven deadly sins all biblical matter aside its mostly a gnawing sucking frosty black hole that lives in the center of my chest it honestly rules my life and all my decision making is there a practical way to rid yourself of it,3.0
41712,i dont know how to feel anymore this past year my life fell apart and i got to visit my crippling depression for the first time after a three year grace i was hospitalized a handful of times for attempts and ideations and at this point i just feel soempty i dont know how to feel anymore i still want to kill myself but at the same time i feel like im a coward if i do and a coward if i dont i spent time with friends yesterday for the first time in forever and although it made me smile in the moment i just felt more distant after all of it i dont know where im going in life or with this i just needed to vent after a long day of again realizing im all alone,3.0
41713,rt itssalexxxxx all these young people dying makes me so sad because it could all be prevented if people knew how to act 💔,1.0
41714,aww didnt get invited to hang out with jill emily and mikaela that makes me sad ,2.0
41715,johnlloydtaylor want to party im in dallas too and im  ,0.0
41716,nothing ill be online later or maybe tomorrow ,0.0
41717,can anyone relate i have no friend group i want to be able to go out and do trips with friends but i cant my bf is on a trip right now and i get so upset its not that i dont trust him i do im more so upset because i have nobody to do that sort of thing with it really gets down it makes me cry im crying right now in bed does anybody else feel like this i literally get so bitter and am short when i text him hes such an angel and even asks if im alright with him going and of course i say i am but im not and its selfish i just dont know what to do all my life ive struggled with this crying lonely in my bed while others were together partying living life this has been happening since high school im  now when does this end i have severe anxiety and depression so something like this truly hurts me my life isnt horrible but i feel empty im not in school or work and thats hard but i know what school did to my mental health too and it wasnt good i feel worthless when im not doing something with my life im currently studying for the law school admissions test but i feel like im never going to get in and i doubt thinking ill make it through help some days i wish i never woke up,3.0
41718,out giving out our demo if you want one either meet us at the mall or txt us or msg and we will get one to you asap ,0.0
41719,tiredd  nothing to do today ,2.0
41720,keshanichols bleh well find a sunny weekend to shoot lets ask the universe for those positive vibes ,0.0
41721,im making breakfast egg muffins by the dozen  great for busy mornings  they smell yummy ,0.0
41722, what ,2.0
41723,tropical house is perfect for summer because the beats are sick and the lyrics are sad,1.0
41724,well that worked just dandy ,0.0
41725,sometimes it feels like im drowning i was going through a rough night last night havent had one that bad in a couple of weeks although i havent been feeling that great during that time in the thick of it i started writing out what i was feeling and for some reason i really want to share it so here it is every day it feels like im at the deep end of a pool and i dont know how to swim some days i can struggle and i can keep myself afloat other days i can barely keep my mouth above the water gasping for air and some days the worst days i feel like im drowning and no matter how much i struggle or thrash or cry for help no one can hear me i cant help myself and neither can anyone else some days i wonder what it would feel like to let go to just let the water take over to stop struggling and gasping for air to stop struggling for a reality i cant keep or create for myself something always keeps me struggling though i dont know what it is some days but im still here still struggling to keep afloat still fighting for every breath writing this out actually helped a lot i was finally able to stop crying and actually go to sleep im feeling super drained today but hey its not as bad as last night ,3.0
41726,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
41727,i feel like im on fire thats how this depression feels to me not just that im low or have lost interest in things though those also most definitely applyi feel like im on fire everything just hurts psychologically physically actively its in my gut and in my fascia i guess they call it an agitated depression but i cant sit still i havent had a drink in seven weeks but now i practically chain smoke cigarettes to try to temporarily put out the fire i wake up scared and feeling so unbelievably alone mornings are a daily nightmare im able to get through work barely its a colossal undertaking every timeim also constantly bombarded by racing unrelenting intrusive thoughts incredibly hard to focusi think back to who i was and where i was three years ago and that life feels so far away i had a terrible breakup and my best friend stormed out of my life right around the same time my friend said horrible things to me and about me and then never spoke to me again and i dont think i ever recovered from those two people leaving in the way they didand now my life just feels broken like this timelinemultiverse somehow broke and im in the nightmare timeline not to mention it feels like the world broke a few years agoi know beneath all this is a very loving and lovable person but i feel farther and farther from that person every day and i feel like ive exhausted my friends theres only so many times i can reach out for support when guess what im still depressed before they burn outso the loneliness feedback loop gets worse  the depression distances me from the human connections that are so important and that in turn makes me even more depressedfuck i was a person with love in my life and love to give and its all gone completely off the rails and i have no idea how to get back to that and that thought terrifies meand im so incredibly frighteningly despairingly lonely im starving for intimacy but im too depressed to even begin to think about a loving partner coming into my life it doesnt feel fair to them to put this on them but the lack of that in my life makes me even more despairing but i dont know how to even begin to reach out from under the wet cotton surrounding me to make that connectionthanks for making a space for me to say all this my first post,3.0
41728, hey mate fancy finden you on hea ,0.0
41729,depression after surviving terror attack i survived the  terror attack in norway back in  i was on utoya island where  people diedi lost  friends there and i still suffer from horrible survivors guilt i saw and heard people getting shot  right behind me and i just kept running i was so fucking scared and its like that scared feeling never stopped and its developing into a really bad depressioni remember seeing anders breivik maybe  feet away from me and the moment i saw him firing his rifle my mind went to a place i cant even describe you hear stories about people being heroes and helping others i ran and hid like a fucking coward i saw people helping others i saw so many brave people that day but i wasnt one of them i keep thinking that maybe the number of people killed couldve been  or  instead of  had i just stopped and helped i fucking hate myself for it and i dont know if ill ever look at myself the same way againbefore any of this i thought that simply being sad was depression boy was i fucking wrong i cant eat i cant sleep its like my entire life has been put on hold since  its hard getting over and its even harder to find someone to talk to who can understand i miss my friends so much and i think about them all the time they would want me to keep on living but im just so fucking tired,3.0
41730,sluttyhoe yuppp its horribleeeee  awww thanks,2.0
41731,almost fainted while hanging today i tried to kill myself and im soon trying again hopefully itll work i tried to hang myself well i wasnt suspending i just put my head around my belt door handle and let my body fall as i was doing it i started feeling dizzy and kind of losing the senses on my hands i panicked and took the belt out around my neck survival instinct i guess i think that if id continued i wouldve fainted and died ill work on how not to panic or try another methodhas that ever happened to you,3.0
41732,how are others so blindly motivated through school ive been dealing with depression for a while now im  and i dont really have any sense of the future i cant clearly imagine what my future will or should be like i cant really imagine what i want either i dont see how others can go through high school or college and have the motivation to get through it all for something they have no true experience of the work theyll be doing i just find it extremely hard to work for a future that i cant be sure of i guess i just cant see myself getting out of the shit  jobs i hate those quit then after  months i repeat it again but i know that im running out of time to pull this shit so i figured im going to have to go to college if i want more in life so i guess thats my move just feels like such a shit grind for the end product of monday thru friday  and weekends ill just be cleaning the house or doing other chore shit never getting to live the life i truly want i just want to be truly free to explore and create on my own i wish we could be back in the primitive time where everyone worked for what they needed ie food and it might not have been fun but it wasnt how work is today a bit off topic but i think a lot of you will resonate with me just kind of venting and seeing if anyone else wants to enjoy some company in misery,3.0
41733,big old chunk of cow carcass is getting prepped for the bbq  with out a drink it might just be mediocre though ,2.0
41734,so far  year is not so good  i want  year back ,2.0
41735,pulsetrain thank you    she seems to be in normal spirits which is odd  when i look at her tooth it makes me cringe  owwwww,0.0
41736,is not loving sims  on the laptop  cant control it,2.0
41737,hmmm idk cuz were losers who have nuthing better  do ooh i just got a txt from maddie i miss saskatchewan  sniffle sniffle,2.0
41738,scoring is soooo boring just to get a rhyme going especially  orchestral parts they dont even fit an  ,2.0
41739,marinavorobyev no doubt we have to support each other ,0.0
41740,mrbellek mondays and lasagnas strange association ,0.0
41741,i would raven but i dont know how ,2.0
41742,its raining   a lot ,2.0
41743,bostonmarketer if there were different words after quotgrabquot id definitely say quotnot businessquot  ,0.0
41744,giorgycarolina lol been there done that ,0.0
41745,going to the pool ,0.0
41746,getting a headache   sitting at work waiting to see if anyone else is going to come inknowing my luck itll happen at  close  ,2.0
41747,should not be up this early to go to work but sadly i am ,2.0
41748,keep leaning on drugs i might get shit for this post but i cant be happy without being under the influence of alcohol or cocaine a few months ago i cleaned up started seeing a therapist and started prozac for the  time in my life it is almost like when my life started to have a feeling of getting better i made my own reason to fall back down ive been on a  week bender of self loathing and drugs but i cant seem to get past the feeling that i am better off this way so that i have a reason to not get better i hate myself for the decisions that i makei have always titled myself as a piece of shit but i know i can be better my family knows i can be better but i put on this face of idgaf to everyone that i meet constantly putting up a barrier to avoid a reason to be a better person idk why i came to this thread tonight if its for validation or help i just need a reason to fall out of my old ways its hard dealing with day to day situations when i always make the worst out of every situation,3.0
41749,johnincolorado you said you love this time of night  i made a lame and i admit weak play at a joke re taking over the world etc ,0.0
41750,i am so tired of trying i keep trying i think i got to a better situation but in the end i realize i am still living with the same garbage toxic people that i thought are better now i feel if i dont move out i will end up killing myself and i dont think ill be able to move out in the next few years financiallythe more time passes the more i feel like i should start cutting myself at least thats a way of getting my feelings outi dream about killing myself almost everyday now i feel lost i dont even know if any hard work i do is worth it or not i dont even know if i should study or go to my classes since i might just kill myself soon so whats the point eveni know it does sound evil but i want to kill myself and let them know that they caused it and it was all their fault i dream about them not being able to tell themselves it wasnt their fault after it happens,3.0
41751,its gonna suck not getting free apps for the next few days ,2.0
41752,another day another episode to score boy am i glad that i dont work on a daily show just yet what a grind that would be ,0.0
41753,rt guccineverlose being in the white side of town give me more anxiety then being in the hood,1.0
41754,chadmichmurray hey chad i think your a great actor keep it up ,0.0
41755, suicide in public areas is strictly prohibited httpstcohtardhszzx,2.0
41756,unitedairlines getting rid of the quotholdquot option on unitedcom makes arrangements much more difficult ,2.0
41757,passionsista aha catch you here ,0.0
41758,hutchouse yogurt place shpaige wanna read it josiejersey sucks it was lame ,2.0
41759,wondering how i am supposed to go on without my pip  at that point where i could still go home n sleep if i wantednah ima press on,2.0
41760,is currently making improvements to the commision project ,2.0
41761,notcot mathnet amp square one brings back some good memories  my favorite part was mathman,0.0
41762,bffs tell each other everything rightbut wat if its gunna hurt them really bad  s,2.0
41763,i love days that start with two people calling in  ,0.0
41764,anivlz advil or generic ibuprofen acts as an antiinflammatory taking some could subside pain or anxiety by bc ,2.0
41765,forecast says high in the  in front royal va for  mile run on saturday  not a pr temp ,2.0
41766,intuitiveartist did you know the chinese word quotdim sumquot literally means quottouch your heartquot  i guess i am hungry ,0.0
41767,just something i want to share this just something i said to someone else that i like but changed up a bit lifes like standing waist deep in the sea when the waves hit you thats the shit in life but its the small times in between the waves you have got to try to enjoy but right now for some of us the tide is too high for us to even get a breath but dont worry just hold your breath the tide wont stay up for ever it may feel like its been forever but it will come back down,3.0
41768,its only  in the morning and already my father and rob harris have made my day  for different reasons obviously,0.0
41769,life cant get any worse ,2.0
41770,its so hottttt in my house  ,2.0
41771,in paris now safe and sound didnt end up lost ,0.0
41772, hehe people called us and told us thank you ,0.0
41773, haha good move ,0.0
41774,im sooooo tired and now i have to study math ,2.0
41775,i have a fucking expiration date ive been depressed for several years now no therapy has ever worked not at all no results about six months ago i started taking pills for my depression they worked great started to enjoy living again a week ago my therapist told me the effect doesnt last forever i obviously started panicking because the only thing that has helped me will eventually stop working then she told me id be fine for at least a couple years i calmed down and came to the conclusion that if ive got so much time i should be able to fix rightfast forward to todayturns out that the pills wont stop working after a couple of years they stop working after one year so ive basically got six months before my brain will start telling me to kill myself again i have no idea what to do about this i dont have any idea how im going to live these last six months knowing i have a fucking expiration date,3.0
41776,cityguyyoga no i missed  stunning images of natural phenomena ,2.0
41777,rt khayadlanga according to a dr friend depression is increasing globally by  it will be  most common reason for occupational di,0.0
41778,on  its lightening amp dark looks like its gna storm  scurry lol,2.0
41779,why do i why do i always feel like my friends hate me or dont want to associate with me why do i always feel like they want to talk to me last,3.0
41780,my girlfriend so first off im just gonna say im in  grade and i know i dont really have the right to complain much because im only  almost  but recently ive been in a bit of a dilemma my girlfriend of almost  months on the  makes me the happiest person in the world but also sometimes the saddest person in the world recently shes been telling me that im always mean and rude to her  but i literally havent done anything i know it sounds dramatic and it kinda is but ive talked to other people about it too and they agree with me and her saying this causes her to get this fucking close to breaking up with me 👌 and i hate to admit it but i cry every time its been like  or  times now that shes done it and before the first time i hadnt cried since i was like  or  and shes usually really nice and caring but recently shes been really cold to me and she never talks about why shes upset anymore and she yells at me a lot overall shes recently been making me feel more and more like i should be ashamed of existing and that i dont belong in this world or anywhere near her last year i used to cut because i didnt give half a shit and i was edgy and for some reason liked the feeling of the cool blade cutting my skin then seeing the glistening scarlet red blood trickling from the wound anyway last year there were a handful of times where i almost killed myself because i just didnt give a shit anymore but i decided that i couldnt because my little brother needed me hes  now but now im thinking about leaving this world again because i hate dealing with the drama included in dating this girl even though i love her to death this is the first serious relationship ive been in  other than this there was only  other actual relationship i was in im not gonna go on about everything she does that makes me upset because ive wrote a lot already anyway i just feel slightly better if i tell someone about this so if you made it though my ranting thank you it means a lot sorry for wasting your time,3.0
41781,chillin at maddies probably gonna be up pretty late text er up ,0.0
41782,theres nothing wrong with renting throughout your life the problem is that govt amp finance sector policy has pushe httpstcomrlxvdlnru,2.0
41783,its been a long time since i have been on twitter at the moment im doing my gcses s so thats why i have been soooooo busy ,2.0
41784,i posted this somewhere else but here it is now we out here strugglingi just had a massive panic attack because my mum yelled and me and called me names like lazy fucking cunt or that im pathetic which is her favourite and stuff i ended up saying that her yelling makes me wanna kill myself which is true but she thought i was faking my panic attack and kept trying to get me to talk even though i couldnt breathewhen i calmed down she asked me if i promised to not kill myself or run away again and i said i promised but i started crying bc i couldnt promise that i have lied about so much to her the school counseler at my old school rang my mum and said one of my friends said that i tried to kill myself by drinking bleach that is true but i denied it but now i dont know how to tell her the truth i dont know how to tell her i self harmyeah im just so depressed and the therapy and antidepressants arent helpingtheres a lot more but i dont want to bore you anymore,3.0
41785,rt ninthwardjawn me as my mental health continues to decline and my depression and anxiety cloud my judgment and decision making https,2.0
41786,why no sleep i worked my butt off yesterday ,2.0
41787,picseshu you know im a fan of joemcnallyphoto but hes not followed me back or responded to my tweets ,2.0
41788,  thinking he blocked me i dont see them,2.0
41789,breemarchelle i have no money and no food in the house  cereal it is,2.0
41790,coltseaversps you cannot please everyone all of the time  people have the controls to unfollow  do ya thing ,0.0
41791,had a fun time at the midway  might have got a burn from the hot sun ,0.0
41792, sugarland needs to have their own tour stay makes me cry everytime ,2.0
41793,im deleting all my friends from my life soi fucked up royaly today by getting one of my good friends to hate meand now im deleting all of themyay,3.0
41794,michbek tell me if its as funny as it looks im such a big kid  up,0.0
41795, lol funny indeed  i love the quotwhos baby is itquot quotcheck its collar or somethingquot  lol,0.0
41796,ha wow just had a great night with some crazy people  good times good timesxxx,0.0
41797,i really cant believe i missed the live podcast so upset ,2.0
41798, real jeff kiddo i also do not know why theyre pissed jealous much they have to grow up poor david ,2.0
41799,rugby finals was sad lethargic and tiring  i still feel bloodless what a shitty day,2.0
41800,johnnybardine i dont agree with you but thats cool disagreement hasnt been outlawed yet   have a good weekend,0.0
41801,had such a successful day buying things for my apartment  a table and chairs tableclothes lamp and kitchen utensils i am so adult,0.0
41802,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
41803,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
41804,whos gonna help me move today  ,0.0
41805,i realllllly dont wanna go today ,2.0
41806,i havent taken my meds in months i know that i should take them and that a lot of my issues can be resolved by stabilizing the chemicals in my brain i know its the right thing for me to do and that they will ultimately help me as they have in the pastabout  months ago i fell off the wagon i guess you could say the job at a company i really enjoyed working at went under whole company went down no fun and the break in my internal schedule made me miss meds now i cant bring myself to just take them they are in a box in my room i talked to my psych before i just stopped going to those appointments too and she gave me new prescriptions on faith i would start taking them again but thise just ended up in the box toohonestly at this point the mainonly thing keeping me around and in a state of moving around are my pets or mania im bipolar among other things  probably should have mentionedi dont know how to force myself to start back up usually when i have issues with my brain i root out the cause and try to work against it or fake it till i make it but this thing is the exception to iti guess im posting this to see if maybe anyone else deals with the same thing not anxiety about meds but some mental blockage on taking them,3.0
41807,swiftkaratechop i wont get to see your next ask swifty untill the end of july ,2.0
41808, have a lot to do this weekend figured id get it done early  kitteh tomorrow hockey game today  say hello to simone ,0.0
41809,who the hell am ii want to hide from everything hey dont know if im depressed or not just want to let this thing outso i dont know im a  years old guy not sure about anything i am just hiding from everyone not good at any single thing tired all the time lazy as fk can motivate others but its hard to do it oneself idk  just an average guy well people say dont say bad about yourself but its hard to lie to self i know what kind of person im so its just all seems to lie its always hard for me to share my thoughts with people around me dunno maybe just scared to be judged thats why created this alt account to post this people near me are not bad but its hard to trust anyone i hate changes but things always changed i want one thing which remains the same but i guess thats not even possible wanted to live in a world where everyone cares about each other but same time wanted to hide from everyone im not even sure what i want from this life or maybe this is all just in my mind perhaps im creating a false reality only to be depressed i think life would be much easier if dad is alive well thats also not possible im tired of all these responsibilities wanted to run away from it maybe im just making excuses of lack amp laziness there are more thing to tell but im not sure where it will start or end but i guess you got the idea what kind of person am i well last but not least im a hypocrite too always think of doing the right stuff and doing just opposite judge other people but scared to be judged ironic i say i do love taking a personality test to know what kind of person am i but i changed all the time dont want to be a single kind of person but that jack of all trade is also killing addition issues are there tooidk  well thats essential hmm its not that bad its my second job and well everyone acknowledges me but i guess from last year im not able to give   all those pain meds make me sleepy all the time excuse again sometimes its hard to meet the company expectation idk  well on average not a single girl like me not even college or after that all these things were impossible well some talked to me in college but only when they needed some help otherwise no contact well its not like its their fault im the one who was busy with parttime work and talking was not my best skill anyway 	then i guess i created an online account and start talking to random people it wasnt that bad some people are good to hold the conversation i love to know about their life well thats where i found a first female friend well thats going to sound creepy but whenever i talk to girls i always think of relationship maybe just too desperate this female friend introduces me to her friend so i become friend with her also so we talked a lot but in this conversion my first friend left behind i guess my fault so we dont talk anymore i asked this second girl to be my girlfriend she rejected at first but agreed later well thats how my relationship start its an ldr differet countrydifferent culture she is nonvegetarian love to try different food and im a vegan with food issue food neophobia she believes in gods and im apathist she loves oceans and i prefer mountains these are some basic difference we have — so many fights so many sorry we still havent met though and its been four years in starting it was all good but im getting more and more realistic than the time i didnt think of many things well so now i dont know what i want dont wanna lose her because i know ill not be able to meet anyone and its tough to be with me and my alltime changing moods but if we continue i dont know what going to happen still i need to discuss with my family about my plans well she also doesnt know about my addiction issue im afraid if i tell im not sure if i can love anyonei thought i couldnt leave without my family but after my fathers death things changed dunno but now i dont seem to care i guess it will take someday as life move on ill forget about everyone so now relationship also doesnt matter to me though but i dont want to hurt anyonethere are all these things that always in my mind well i dont know if anyone is going to read this a long post i also avoid the long post and see im making one i dont know what im looking for maybe just wanted to all out maybe should start keeping a journal i did that once but too lazy to write down every day,3.0
41810,ashishbansal  there ,0.0
41811,watching the spelling bee on tv wow do i feel dumb i think i spelled one word right and it was quotspellingquot ,0.0
41812,gosh i so wanna end w ths day d mood here sucksn im so disturbd by d  also pfff ,2.0
41813,khandiekhisses thats retribution for all those innocent sims you sims murderer you ,0.0
41814,rodrigofoca well i only have ppc macs around here ,2.0
41815, cher of course we have cute puppies ,0.0
41816,too bored ,2.0
41817, have a great weekend kellan ,0.0
41818,is enjoying the sun ,0.0
41819,magically gets ungrounded her house for jonas ,0.0
41820,washed all my cashmere and ready for a great week ,0.0
41821,running i joined my high schools track team back in junior year of high school and immediately fell in love with the sport it helped me meet new people make great friends and challenge myself and has really been an integral part of my life for the past  yearsbut in college i have been more down about myself and might be depressed although i have not been diagnosed or seen a doctor for this i feel as though this has really killed my passion for running and i no longer enjoy what i once loved to do i feel so obligated to continue running since its been so important to my development as a person i have based so much of my identity around being a runner that the thought of quitting feels like a part of myself is dying but i struggle to get out the door and when i do it feels like a chore instead of the stress reliever it once wasi feel so lost and directionless i dont know what to do i dont want depression to kill what was once the best part of my day let me know if this is not the appropriate sub for this kind of post its my first time here,3.0
41822,ddsy belated good luck  what course are you taking up,0.0
41823,ready for the weekend ,0.0
41824,depression is real 😩😭😭😭,0.0
41825, have no time to do anything or see anyone which sucks but im going to go to the gym in the  hour lunch break still sucks ,2.0
41826,jacobspillow pillowpr ive just been looking around at dance festival websites yours seems to be the best ,0.0
41827,back again listening im only me when im with you  taylor swift ,0.0
41828,kicked it on the lake all day fished but they werent really biting  damn got a lil sunburn haha i love boatinntokin lol,2.0
41829,okay time to cry but in the bednight nightand praise the fucking void sheeshnobody cant stop me except myself and my anxiety ahah ,2.0
41830,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
41831,good morning  juzt woke up and discovered that i have a lot of frans homework that i forgot ,2.0
41832,im  today my birthday is always hard for me for a lot of reasons and it always kicks off a bad depression spell that said i made it to  which i didnt always think i would still struggling but im here and right now im okay and thats pretty good,3.0
41833,wants to eat  ,2.0
41834, phone call to ato still no rudd bonus   time lost in the mail  time lost in the eft system now another  day wait,2.0
41835,hertog i can open it no problems whatsoever opera ie amp ff caches cleaned ,0.0
41836,this is probably the worst friday in my whole life ,2.0
41837,byyee im goin to shopping ,0.0
41838, its hard and complicated ,2.0
41839,give me something to look forward to reddit i have often read that losing interest in an activity which one earlier liked is a common sign of depressioni went through pretty heavy depression last year but i never ever lost interest in video games those always helped pull me throughuntil today a set of exams just got over today and i was pretty glad that id finally have some time again to play i turned on my computer and just stared for like fifteen minutes at my game folder unable to get the energy to click on something this was despite having two new games waiting for menow that i think about it this is something that has been happening for around a week or two but i put it down to college stress i barely have an hour each day after returning home to play that too on just two days exams also had me pretty preoccupiedthis is just one thing among many that appear to have sparked off a depressive episode im not physically  and male fyi i always was and am good at studies but this combined with my social awkwardness and introversion made me an object of ridicule among my classmates back in school i tried to turn a new leaf over for college and be slightly more interactiveregardless of how difficult that was for me and while it seemed to have worked initially i notice that a section of my classmates continue to mock me today this settled on a matter that im very selfconscious about ive always accepted minor depreciating jokes with a smile observing that this is common between many of my other friends as well but this is where i draw a line i did not react but i feel terrible insidemy parents who are overprotective dont really help with this ive led a very sheltered life so far with extremely limited use of public transport as that can expose me to pathogens or otherwise result in me falling ill or meeting with an accident this i feel contributes heavily to my social ineptitude ive tried talking to them about this to absolutely no avail i honestly have no idea about how im supposed to survive if i get a job in a different city there is another side effect of this though perhaps amusing  i can never ask a girl out no matter how much i like her and build up courage to tell her because where tf will i take her on a date i know literally nothing of my city i cannot leave home as i have no social life and my parents know it they will definitely not be pleased if i mention a date not that im ever getting close to one lollike i said earlier college leaves me very little time for recreation or developing other skills add to this the fact that this is not where i expected to land thats another story i used to be an avid reader but i can rarely find time to read now ive taken up a musical instrument but that is again a source of much frustration at times college is exhausting and my friends are of little help simply staying at home and studying is no option as it would land me in trouble about attendance and knowing myself ill never get any work done anyway reading and gaming are my only proper hobbies and not getting pleasure out of them is worryingwhat am i supposed to look forward to then exam results are poor compensation for enduring this wretched daily ordeal im very sorry if this just feels like mindless rambling perhaps it is english is not my native language and i am not in a very coherent state of mind right now the main purpose of this is to vent  you need not reply,3.0
41840, my browser very smoothly pros password activated no history total privacy cons basic module ,2.0
41841,i hate being so emotional and expressive ive always been an open book and its so hard to hide when i feel like crap doesnt help that i have depression either i try so hard to tell myself im fine and that im getting better and on days like these when i get super anxious i feel like i went back to square one and that ill fall apart again im trying to finish my bachelors degree and be a good mom to my almost  year old and a good wife to my husband but some days i dont even know if im doing any better i overthink and worry  and on super crappy days i sometimes contemplate disappearing altogether but i know i cant do that to my family it sucks too that im a huge perfectionist but any time ive succeeded i try to be humble and brush off small victories in fear of being seen as stuck up im crying right now typing this and feeling like im just bringing my family down with me just for being depressed im already on lexapro and okay most days other days i just have no motivation or energy to get up and keep the house clean and baby proof i guess advice on how to not let things get to me would be appreciated god i feel so pathetic ,3.0
41842,laying down before i have to go to work worked on a new form and weapon form today  foot still hurts ,2.0
41843, hey there lady you seem down  cheer up id by you a shot to take the edge off if i could but i live in nc,2.0
41844,rt  depression is real among  high achievers its worsened by impostor syndrome  a psychological pattern in which an individ,1.0
41845,im confused about getting help for depression and alcohol ive struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for a while now but every time i feel like i want to die i just stop caring about all consequences in life and do stupid things im scared to actually kill myself but even when i get in dangerous or weird situations i think well i guess this is just how i stay in this world a bit longer i drink to try feel better and care less about things it sounds bad but sometimes i think i want to get so drunk that i collapse on the street and then maybe someone can help me or care or people will finally see im not ok it will no longer be hidden in my mind but in reality id just get taken to hospital for a night and then nothings changed or i do get help but then i feel like im being monitored constantly trapped which scares me what if getting help only makes me more miserable to feel like ive lost all freedom too and then the problem only becomes biggerbut maybe im in denial if i had freedom why do i think like this and want to escape reality with alcohol but i dont want to be forced to live a certain way with no way to escape because of this i feel like just because i should do something it makes me want to do the complete opposite i probably should stay in and just go to bed if im feeling like this and maybe i should take antidepressants but knowing this makes me angry because i feel like it doesnt really change anything it only sets me up to feel the exact same again trapped in life so i feel like if i do something completely opposite i can free myself from this but this always involves alcohol and i end up regretting what ive said and done but in the moment it was like someone else was deciding for me i know its me but i just let things happen its almost like im watching a film or im playing a game but its not a game its life and there are consequences i feel like this is really contradicting saying i dont want to feel trapped yet when i escape its like im not in control i guess i just cant figure out a good solution to this and am holding on to the ability to escape from reality a bit,3.0
41846,pastorjoelle if you have a blackberry ubertwitter is great ,0.0
41847,i fucking hate my life my dad was abusive my mom called the cops on him about  weeks ago he got sent in a psychiatric ward we left our house immediately moved out in a day with no warning because we were scared i live  minutes away from my old house none of my friends have come to visit me i spend my days sleeping and eating and watching shows if i have the energy one of my best friends was a bitch to me literally told me no one felt bad for me i really dont need people to feel bad for me just someone to talk to for gods sake im so lonely i have no one to talk to i have no one i could kill myself and no one would notice except my mom my dad has told everyone included the woman he cheated on my mom with and my grandma that im not his daughter i mean i never liked him so its not devastating but that shit still stings theres legitimately no one who cares about me i told another friend how i felt they told me to accept it and move it on i cant get this feeling out of my chest i just really want to sleep for a long long time i want a therapist but were broke since we had to move out i just dont even know where to go or what to do i just feel like a lonely selfpityparty throwing girlwithdaddyissues bitch and my life is a like a shitpost,3.0
41848,i dreamt about being break down in party and laugh with everyone that makes me happy little biti mean i just get what i have now even its a dreamits alright i guesseven after that dream i will get depressed over and over again by my overthinking and look back in the past even more but i think its okay to have this dream for once in a whileits really short life dream but i think i will remember it to remind me something happy even its not really much to feel happy anymorebut i will remember iti hope no one feel depressed because of my post for getting happy or something if it was im sorry,3.0
41849,going out to dinner and to see night at the museum ,0.0
41850,rt lifeaseva if i had a dollar for every time i open up to someone about my anxiety and they go oh yeah i totally get nervous s ,1.0
41851,im off to bed because i need to wake up early for my tennis lessons tomorrow at  ,0.0
41852,do other non depressed people understand i feel like whenever i talk to my friend who isnt depressed about depression he just doesnt understand it hell say things like  just think of happy things  one time he legit said just be happy  i understand hes trying to help and i appreciate that but surely even though he may not fully understand depression he surely knows thats not how if works oh why didnt i think of just being happy its not how it works hes trying his best but he basically thinks its like normal sadness where it goes away somewhat easilyidk why im posting this just needed to get this off my chestand freind if your seeing this try to be supportive in other ways no offence,3.0
41853,  just leaving paradise lovely wedding and hotel gorgeous weather family awesome time  plus melon for bre ,0.0
41854,its a gorgeous day and weve spent the morning inside sainsburys trying a comparison shop against tesco and the afternoon in church ,2.0
41855,lindseys banana spilt  now eating pho vie,0.0
41856,well off to uni we go  fun fun,0.0
41857,great meetinglunch on the patio in the sunshinenothing more perfect  busy daytime for bed ahhhhh ,0.0
41858,rt anupamuncl arvindkejriwal facts or regulations ke adhar par baat karna sad ji ki dictionary me nahi hai  alana  falana or dhimkaana,2.0
41859,on my way to flordia for a week hope i dont get burned ,0.0
41860,my gpa and dad come today  more day till graduation ahh cant wait and  then its off to florida on wednesday ,2.0
41861,im depressed but definitely not suicidal so it all started when my dad passed a few months ago i quit my job so i could join this program at my community college basically went to school monfriday    so i can get this certificate that was supposed to get me a job in the chemical plants it has been  months since that and still no job and my old one doesnt want me back my car motor exploded out of nowhere and i have no money to fix it the people i live with are the pettiest people ever towards me even though i literally stay in my room all day and night and dont come out unless its to shower wash clothes food or to leave the house i have been continuing my education and my grades are slipping i have no motivation to work out i just dont have any happiness or anything positive in my life right now the only thing that keeps me from going off the edge is my wonderful girlfriend she is the absolutely best oh and if i even talk to my mom about my problems all she says is just go get some medicine i dont want to rely on fucking meds i just need to find some type of passion im in a horrible slump and i dont see a way out,3.0
41862,made it through the labyrinth that is denver airport just in time to board  spent a bit too much time in the airport bar ,0.0
41863,also would like a nice belt  im finding too much stuff i should buy if i had money   ,2.0
41864,sherksgirl so am i jsut supposed ignore my other lovers  no ally no shane p,2.0
41865, i hope the waiter gets to read ur blog post i bet it will make his day ,0.0
41866,im sad lauren bffffff will be leaving me  we have been together this whole weekend an now shes leaving me,2.0
41867,my pups needs to go outside so i need to get up ,2.0
41868,fresh prince of bel air ,0.0
41869,yourlilfriend glitterbubbles thank you guys its so much fun i love being on vacation ,0.0
41870,luvnmynkotb abso freaking lutley  ,0.0
41871,sometimes i scare myself with how easily i fall back into depression it can start so small a feeling of not wanting to get out of bed but then i do get out of bed and maybe im in class but i start doodling not thinking just drawing and the drawing turns to words words like help me or please begs for someone to hear my silent words screaming out on the paper in front of me they echo over and over and over and suddenly i realize im not ok i was fine mere minutes ago and suddenly im very not oki scare myself sometimes i want it to end even now as im sitting here typing this i can hear my internal voice begging myself to help me but i cant theres nothing to help,3.0
41872,jaetips lololol noooot happening ill get one as soon as i get out of town im gonna post a pic just for you ,0.0
41873,misskoneko dont do that hun ,2.0
41874,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
41875,rt cspyyc improving mental health in the workplace can save lives and decrease losses to productivity by  ,2.0
41876,woke up at  for who only knows what reason and now i cant fall back asleep ,2.0
41877,ddubstweetheart you can try that  just post it on the quotneed ticketsquot section,2.0
41878,time for a shower pizza then blackforest gateau i know i knowbut i would of still ate it even if i hadnt done the excesice ,0.0
41879,upset ii had my whole day planned n now ii have to work ,2.0
41880,kissmybleep she posted something i will ,0.0
41881,need to do my project but my microsoft word isnt workinn  uqhhh shower timee,2.0
41882,mileycyrus why im worry for you girl ,2.0
41883,pink follow me ,0.0
41884,honkeyburger  i know i need to unfollow some,2.0
41885,twilightxgalaxy sounds amazing ,0.0
41886,so are you like merlin or something agingbackwards good morning what have i missed ,0.0
41887,please if you ever feel alone or like you need someone to talk to feel free to hmu i go through depression too so i know how it feels,1.0
41888,switching to ie until i figure out why ff keeps crashing  an iphone gc from squarespace would certainly cheer me up,2.0
41889,gotdamned pain pills did it again  hours wasted  i wanted to go to luckie tonight ,2.0
41890,i have a rash on my chest ,2.0
41891,torilovesbradie we are in perth  lol i wish,0.0
41892,hes just not that into you     what a realistic movie,2.0
41893,none of us girls were really hungry for dinnerso the guys went out we had hot fudge sundaes and chocolate dibbs gotta love dessert ,0.0
41894, awww such a sweetie glad u have a tenderheart ,0.0
41895,rt abeihdz thats sad huh ,2.0
41896,amyskababy d hellz yes  my reply collumn is proving almost impssible to manouvre but its so worth it ,0.0
41897,its over my partner just ended our two year relationship because he cant see a future for us and he doesnt miss me when im not there i cant express my devastation i truly love him and i can see a future so clearly i really thought we were good im late  im not young im not delusional we were great ive just left him we had met up to talk and he ended it im two hours away from home by train just waiting at the station i know there are people i can reach out to right now people who would be happy to listen but im not close to anyone anymore because of my depression and anxiety over the last few years he was my person my overwhelming instinct is to reach out to him and i cant anymore i dont know how im going to get through thisi feel so truly alone and heartbroken right now ,3.0
41898, luv ya still girlie i mean u iz  years old amp shit i expect u too cook breakfast  smile hun,0.0
41899,getting so damn impatient from waiting for my photos ,2.0
41900,mystic tan  cocaine spray inhaling tanner laced wcolombian sugar would be  way to spend day or so i heard once but i never paid  it,0.0
41901,dotca same here  i mean ur a lot more popular and cooler but we lol watching the number drop kinda sux,2.0
41902,you would know lol seancon yes and u dont get  bucks when ya pass go      ,2.0
41903,maybe i should consider taking some books home and actually study ughi need to pass french really badly ,2.0
41904, marketingeds  zuji are a little late  ctripenglish have been doing this for a while,0.0
41905,tweet number  dedicated to my darling marko who is melting in london today ,0.0
41906,mommyinstincts i love my morning showers ,0.0
41907,  poor pixel and her droopy tail maybe a vet visit tomorrow ,2.0
41908,oh sweeeet heaven mango cashew roll was yum ,0.0
41909,bapenguin  at the time of your postingno by now yes ,0.0
41910,existing hurts everyday it hurts to exist to be even on the best of days life hurts and i dont know what to do i dont know how to stop caring about my grades and friends and tests and how much i hate myself and how hard it is to get up in the morning  i just want everything to stop ,3.0
41911,looking for kind words i need to vent and didnt know where else to goive been under a lot of stress lately which has exacerbated my anxiety and depression and recently moved into a new position at work but ive been giving it my all and i finally started to feel a little more optimistic about it all i was in the position for about  weeks and started to see myself able to be successful and then suddenly out of nowhere i became extremely sick it started thursday morning and so i called out of work and honestly this has been the most sick ive ever been in my entire life medicine barely gave relief i had a horrible migraine sore throat fever congestion dizziness fatigue weakness i could barely eat or tolerate light i locked myself in my bed and did nothing but sleep for days hoping that by today i would feel better because of the weekend and holiday this meant ive only called out of work  days so far but i am absolutely positively wrecked with guilt for doing so and cannot stop thinking that they will fire me i had a bunch of stuff i needed to do today so i got up and started getting ready and most of my flu symptoms had gone but instead i started feeling like i was going to pass out i could barely stand for more than a few moments or lift my hand to do my hair without needing to sit down again i havent been eating more than crackers and soup but can barely stomach anything even those today i think i might have an ulcer from the meds now i have horrible sharp pains in my stomach really horrible i was sweating but cold and shaking and feeling like i wanted to die so i had to call out again i cannot stop feeling like a horrible employee i cannot stop obsessing over the guilt i feel like i should be stronger and able to go inidk why but i feel like i just need someone to reassure me that its okay that ive called out this much that im not going to get fired thats its not my fault im sick that its okay to call out even though i just started working there and i deserve to take it easy until whatever i have has run its course i hate that i need assurance like this my self esteem is just so low and im really beating myself up here for being sick and needing time off i cannot shake the guilt help ,3.0
41912,rt kobychill tips to get out of the great depression💕step  drink water✨,1.0
41913,my exbest friend is forgetting about me i feel like she is completely forgetting me and moving on i know i said i would move on as well but i would give anything just to talk to her again im devestated by all of it and im so angry im angry because i know she doesnt need me i miss her so desperately she was my only close friend and i know she cared about me and i loved her like a sister though i could have shown it more but it doesnt even matter i have no expectation of being her friend again and even though i know there are people i could talk to about it i just dont want to i just wish everything could go back everything is so miserable thing were bad before but she made them bearable and now its just hopeless its all my fault ,3.0
41914,dzse poor you  giirl id like to help you  ,2.0
41915,glad im not living my life for no one but meguess u cant please everybody ,2.0
41916,unplugging for most of the day today wish it was a little better outside tho �c meh have a good day twitter ,0.0
41917,i swear i dont hate you i just have a really bad combo of social anxiety and a resting bitch face,2.0
41918,rt onues la depresión le puede ocurrir a cualquiera más de  millones de personas en el mundo la padecen hablar de ello ayuda elim,2.0
41919,just ate some great food fajitas de pollo con queso melted ,0.0
41920,ahmedre re starbucks you are kidding me so i guess islamic  terrorist right ,2.0
41921,watching quotindiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skullquot again  sadly still as bad the second time around ,2.0
41922,just threw away all my english stuff feels soooo good ,0.0
41923,thetravelbee thanks so much for the compliment blush have a great day you just made my day ,0.0
41924,imnotteo i cant draw for beans but i could go hunting for soundbooth photoshop and ae  i can definitely afford those essentials ,0.0
41925,clintonsparks hmmm well see iowa tho really ,0.0
41926,im in the best mood right now its gonna take a lot to ruin it now  ,0.0
41927,no bad thoughts for  days this is honestly surprising and amazing ive been in a better mood for  days now usually i wouldve thought of self harm or suicide dozens of times by now but i havent stress hasnt overwhelmed me which is new nothing about my routine as far as ive noticed has changed god damn just rereading this i can tell im in a better mood anybody need help im open to talk a few people have contacted me and theyve helped so much thanks but yeah id love to help some of you guys just like a talk or anything hell just fucking vent to me i know from experience that talking to someone helps a whole bunch anything to help,3.0
41928,i want to end it all i give up i am ugly and i really want to die  but i am too scared to do it,3.0
41929,wow i am sooooooooo sad ,2.0
41930,taylorrhicks sounds like youre havin a good weekend afterall  ,0.0
41931,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
41932, helloo ,0.0
41933,stressed bout maths exam ,2.0
41934, but still cool very cool ,0.0
41935,i wish i had a reason to be depressed as the title reads i have no reason to be depressed but that doesnt stop me from lying in bed working out when and how im going to commit suicide even if i know that i dont have the courage or the energy to follow throughive been spending over  hours in bed a day for the last few weeks and its just getting worse i got an email from uni today saying my attendance is bad and that i need to start making classes or else in the email it said that if something was troubling me or if something is wrong then there are services that can help but even if i did go what would i say i have no reason to be depressedonce awhile back in secondary school i went to a drop in session with the school councillor and after around  minutes of speaking to them she pretty much said what i already knew that i have no reason and should keep my chin upall in all my life is fine doing alright at uni despite not making classes and half assing assignments got a part time job that pays my bills and hobbies so i dont know why im in such a state i have no passion for anything and anything i do just makes me realise how little i want to do them even if i feel like i should enjoy them ive been wearing a fake smile for as long as i can remember and cant remember the last time i legitimately laughedi also have no idea how i still have friends i cant imagine im much fun to hang aroundive been telling myself that id commit to dying once i finished with uni that day is less than  months away and im getting more inclined towards it every day that passes i doubt anyone would miss me for more than a year and thats if im being generous i have the pills ready now i just need to wait on my state of mind to deteriorate to the point of being able to take themsorry for the wall of text hopefully no one reads this i only posted because keeping it in was figuratively killing me ,3.0
41936,aaw its raining so hard again ,2.0
41937,rt  ptsdの神経科学。レビュー。brain circuit dysfunction in posttraumatic stress disorder from mouse to man,2.0
41938,wish i bought tickets to see the saturdays  i love them,2.0
41939,salandpepper off the train now and walking in the surprise sunshine ,0.0
41940,does anyone else feel the same  i tend to find what others might see as nothing just part of life as big stressors in my life it sets of my anxiety and i get butterflies in my stomach etc something as simple as erm  having to run an errand or pay a bill or talk on the phone to a stranger tends to be a big deal for me idk why i dont know how to change it sigh,3.0
41941,auto immune  hashimotos  based depression  help with cbd ive been dealing with hashimotos and depression  anxiety since  this year i started using cbd oil to see if i could manage my symptoms im pretty blown away by the capacity of cbd to keep me level headed on days where im just mentally  emotionally dark cbd has been a godsenddidnt know if anyone else out there has had success with cbd oil and anixetydepression specifically with autoimmune issues also  if you do use cbd make sure you get it from a verified source out there theres so much junk and people trying to make a quick buck by selling poorly vetted products i buy all mine from a  party retailer that exclusively screens and tests all their products they have a small list of products that are all very legit if anyones interested its called anavii market,3.0
41942,thefreezepop awww noes i have hiccoughs  and it is depressing me further ,2.0
41943,im sortagrounded way to crazy night thursday whatever  ,0.0
41944,tomorrows bad seeds has a hot singer scrum dilly umptious voiceyummy ,0.0
41945,paris hilton babygirlparis leaves new york is she flying to xanten  haha ,0.0
41946,i hate the korean version of hana yori dango  plz stop i think i might start  litre of tears or idk someone give me an idea,2.0
41947,wasnt jealousy that caused itwas the first time in  years i have loved someone  ladypn quotnot a good use  ♫ ,2.0
41948,rt sincerelytumblr when you are trying to fight paranoia depression dissociation while attempting to balance meaningful relationships h,2.0
41949,  the view of the strip from north las vegas ,0.0
41950,i mean yarn  etsy does life get any better  i also got to see my dear pal craig of cubistliterature there,0.0
41951,single no boyfriend depressed im a  woman whos going through college and i still dont have a boyfriend im beginning to give up on love because for every guy i ever liked i learned that each one has a girlfriendhow do i get a boyfriend this is crazy i dont know what to say or do and its killing me im going to die alone,3.0
41952,ghozali just read your tweets and you made my day ,0.0
41953, ahahah lol amazing i want a shirt for my cat too but first i have to get a cat  ahah love you so much tay,2.0
41954, youre still up  ,0.0
41955,a realization ive made about the way i view depression i swear just a few hours ago i made this thread and i made an edit but afraid it would get lost in the sauce i made a new thread because i think this is important to know i  realized the flaw in my thinking i was thinking of depression as a switch that you can turn on and off if you do the right things but can an overeater trust their stomach to tell them  plate of food is enough should an out of shape person feel good the first time they exercise no because our bodies build up tolerance to our lifestyles and our mental health is no exception we dont want to get better for the same reason we dont like strenous exercisewe arent used to it for years of being depressed you come up with coping mechanisms that are harmful and it twists your perception of things food becomes a form of medicationquick dopamine rather than fuel for the body negative thoughts and rumination become a comfort zone and replaces social interactions and these emotions become the norm in our body expecting good things is going into uncharted territory so if you feel like crap remind yourself this dont be afraid to seek help and better yourself no matter what your mind tells you and dont give in so soon because you still feel depressed after months or after taking your medication i cant say how everyones depression will go away over time but i can say that seeking professional help and managing could never hurt ,3.0
41956, thanks  theres a mens version in june its very popular,0.0
41957,hav tu stay home dat suckz  i am sickboo hoo,2.0
41958,watchin some nitro circus ,0.0
41959,cleaning my house on a friday night ,2.0
41960,is sippin coffee and working thru this weeks  reading not a bad way to spend a sunday morning ,0.0
41961, buffywoo marilynt thank you ,0.0
41962, ooops spoke to soon to early in the morning ,0.0
41963,danielladdf today i was productive too ,0.0
41964,i wish i could msg ppl and be like sorry we stopped talking it was for my mental health but i miss u but thats selfish,1.0
41965,andrewgalka sorry to hear   when i bingled my car they had it for a whole month ,2.0
41966,ugh ive been up since  and i cant sleep ,2.0
41967,rt depression bullying sibling abuse survivors often get the wrong therapy amp httpstcolcloemlmdq ,2.0
41968,amberrocha haha aww well my friend and i are supposed to go get the cd at midnight tonight but she hasnt texted me yet ,2.0
41969,littlefletcher we sell it in boots and its supposed to tingle its like to plump up your lips  xx,0.0
41970,grr latelatelateee i have to shower then get ready and leave at  to get into school i fucking hate ittttt   catchyeh mcfly xxxx,2.0
41971,after hanging out with christina i want to go to tam ,2.0
41972,sleepy from waking up early my tummy is upset ,2.0
41973,ughi hate rain  it smells like worms lol,2.0
41974,itayhod whos chris pine  look here ,0.0
41975,hows it going lol ,0.0
41976,papareboy oh so its  you fell in love with ,0.0
41977,i dont think history could have gone any worse if id vomited over the exam paper probably would have got more marks for that anyway ,2.0
41978,leannebennett have you got my reco yet well done you impressed dont give up on me i intend to reach my own literary heights ,0.0
41979,this kid is smart ,0.0
41980,angminaj where the hell are u we gotta gohurry up before i whip ya ass ,0.0
41981,bass pedal broke on drums ,2.0
41982,themonkeychow i was confused but not surprised cuz i was like quotengland would want a lil bit of melody hu awesomenessquot but summer school ,2.0
41983,missjizzle ok sure have a good night ,0.0
41984,first exam today arrrggghhhh stress ,2.0
41985,words of  relationships r like bridges trying  meet in the middle but sometimes the islands are just  far apart  reach amp meet ,2.0
41986,i just want it to end i always feel so isolated and alone i always picture how happy people would be if i was gone because im already invisible anyway i sat at work thinking about how i was going to kill myself the entire time and im still thinking on it im so tired of being alone and dealing with the bad thoughts in my head everyday im tired of battling with myself i just want to be gone everything ive wanted wont happen and theres nothing im going to miss 😔,3.0
41987,cazob  i always say im not gona take notie ov it any more and then i always do and its like half term has been so good and i bet,0.0
41988,homemade chocolate chip cookies amp desperate housewives  my favs,0.0
41989,rt selinaeshraghi suicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a for,2.0
41990,shayscene lol let me try again i wish i was in dade  speaking to m area gm and and florida vp of atampt next week to make it happen,2.0
41991,rt ayyedoherty hi im actually still going thru post concert depression heavily,2.0
41992,is pulling an all nighter cause i has to revise for my mock maths exam tomorrow  havent even covered hal the work  hours till school,2.0
41993,mattress armada needs to play a show soon or im going to be seriously sad ,2.0
41994,i wanna blast deathklok but cant since im workin in the garage ,2.0
41995,grrrr  of my  drivers and half of my team from fantasy  are out ,2.0
41996,anyone else having issues with block uploading on flickr using simple uploader but when do duplicates counting  my capacity ,2.0
41997,homework ,2.0
41998,helloinsightful cereal doesnt come with toys anymore i jus been thinkin i was buyin the wrong kinds  say it aint so mo,2.0
41999,twentysixcats a great idea  ,0.0
42000,texassuguhh  ill be back as soon as possible i would b on my ipod but my dad took it away for a week ,2.0
42001,candice canadian would just feel too much of a compromise to me no offense to them but you need us brits for the brit comedy ,0.0
42002,i have no interests hello since some time now i started to feel different i dont think i changed actually i just started noticing things about me that are different in others like how they seem completely content with their life like how they all have special interestsall i do is computers thats my job my hobby and i boot it up when i wake up until i go to sleep ill be in front of a screen im fed up with that now and i realize i just dont do anything interesting or nothing interesting happens in my lifei hope to find new hobbies now so that i can finally dont be that loner staring at its computer screen all day long so that i can feel human again and actually start talking to people and keep the conversation interesting for me and the other i just dont know how to connect with people anymore or did i ever connected with anyonei hope to find meaning in my life so that i stop feeling so empty inside,3.0
42003,chillin bout to get in some quotbritneyquot time  yay,0.0
42004,getting ready to watch quothes just not that into youquot again ,0.0
42005,rt heightsupremist u of m is great but like half the students base their personality on the fact that they go here thats so sad alexa,0.0
42006,furthering mental health research hi i appreciate you taking a moment to read my message i am a clinical masters student studying to become a therapist to help people engaging in selfharm behaviors people with depression  are at risk for selfharm behaviors so i truly people this is a group of people that could benefit from research in this area i am using four previously established selfharm measures you could see if you went to a mental health professional all information provided except my own is confidential and no descriptors will be asked if you have any questions please call the number or message me directly thank you in advance for your participation and cooperation ,3.0
42007, apuje realradioraheem im sick of all yall ,2.0
42008,remembering my i was so depressed as a young teen my life is okay but my single mum is very hard on me she left the country to live alone at  im nearly  now and she comes back one a year to live she has depression herself but is the type to tell me to get over myself and that i cant blame her for my problems she told me i was stupid for thinking about killing myself or hurting myself i told her a year after i stopped because i wanted her to understand me but it hurt me alot she had a nickname for me as a child grumpy mole im nearly  and i shes hear again i started fighting with her in my older years but i have come to the realization that i can never change her view of me and she will never be okay with my mentality so ive decided to stay quiet when she runs me the wrong way which is alot and staying quiet reminds me of when i was  and why this started i had a melt down and she took the piss out of me  im lost i cant stand being in her control i feel like moving out but she gets angry when i talk about it because she needs me to look after her house in our home country i live by her rules i feel so trapped any suggestions on how to stay quiet when you want to scream and shout i want to learn how to hold it all in again i dont want to feel anymore,3.0
42009,another great day of riding in italy dont want to go home ,2.0
42010,rt feelingfisky when i drink coffee to be more productive but it just spikes my anxiety instead ,0.0
42011,im thinking of going to my aunts house to overnight there butbut i want to learn guitar first cause there has a guitar no keyboard ,2.0
42012,another day of feeling like an absolute waste of space my head feels like it will explode i lowkey want to stop existing i hate how i got to feel normal for  days and now im back to feeling like shit again,3.0
42013,i am just over being played and shit i wish i could find a guy that likes me for me ,2.0
42014,are actually really looking forward doing the makeup at nationals this weekend purple black silver and a lot of glitter ,0.0
42015,  how cute  ,0.0
42016,summer and sunny days make me depressed i have  friends so no one wants to hang out with me or got anywhere i feel pathetic going to public places by myself because at  youre supposed to have at least one person with you at the mall park etc i wonder if people realize how much of a loser i am,3.0
42017,did i say i may dance i mean i may dance  alot lol ,0.0
42018,i then had this picture of her walking down the isle with her blanket wrapped around her neck as she likes to do ,0.0
42019,just joined voting on univisioncom for premios juventud ampamp on myspace ,0.0
42020,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
42021,my twitters broken i cant add other people ,2.0
42022,failed again on job search in denver  poop maybe wait until next move maybe new city maybe new job  tired of the doggie daycare ,2.0
42023,too bad i am not from thailand i would open a restaurant in fulda germany right now going to eat american then hello mc donalds ,2.0
42024,i dont think yall understand how sad i am about my roomie not going to be my roomie anymore,1.0
42025,finishing up a wire sculpture for my  class bring on the pain ,2.0
42026,im a simple girl why do people have to judge me ,2.0
42027,codinghorror the problem with stackoverflow is that its so competitive there arent any questions that dont seem to be answered ,2.0
42028,why do i always feel awful i know hes not ignoring me but why do i feel like he is why and i getting sad and upset over nothing why am i always like this ,3.0
42029,made a boo boo  not booked the right day off work and thats when we were supposed to go on holiday please lord help me not to worry,2.0
42030, im just having one of those nights where you feel hopeless,2.0
42031,shnaapp nour zaki ,0.0
42032,ciaolaura i have waited for the right opportunity to think about renting  ,0.0
42033,its such a nice day out i think im gonna go out for a jog gotta practice for cross country this summer ,0.0
42034,hahaha i love having conversations through updates lol im bored right now playing counterstrike ,0.0
42035,good morning all had a great time last night and no hang over either that or im still drunk but ciaranbradley off to germany today ,2.0
42036,jessdontstop  ya i did that yesterday    there are some really annoying people out there,0.0
42037,i dont feel like my problems are worth contacting the suicide hotline over im  years old and i struggle with diagnosed anxiety and depression i know shocker as im sure its like for most of the people here the reasonsconcerns for these two heavy hitters vary with whats going on in my life   the concerns im having right now is my transition to becoming an adult and anything following it in the future whether i can handle it all or not the pessimistic and depressed side of me tells me that ill fail all of my goals and that i should just end it now to save myself the humiliation yet the more optimistic but anxious part of me is sure that i can achieve my goals but will i be able to maintainhandle them im also coping with the realization i faced  years ago that im bisexual among those things ive also been struggling religiously but im not going to get into that    anyways onto the main subject all of these things that bring me mental grief and instability have brought me to feel suicidal that all the pain and suffering that im going through isnt worth enduring for as long as only god knows how long after trying to convince myself to reach for help naturally the suicide hotline came to mind but another obstacle entered my mind   are my troubles worth their time   im a normal guy who lives a normal life with happily married parents and  younger siblings who are all healthy myself physically healthy included i remember the people ive seen that suffer from suicidal thoughts and tendencies that live terrible unthinkable lives yet here i am facing some sort of existential crisis if thats even what this istldr my life story is normal yet i feel extremely depressed anxious and suicidal enough to want to call the sh but due to facing no tragedies i dont feel like im worth the trouble  ,3.0
42038,beatknoxx i wish i could go for a nice cold bowl of cereal right nowbut dont have any ,2.0
42039,im  years old but i dont enjoy life anymore and feel so lonely i dont usually post things on reddit but i needed to get this off my chest so since  years now i dont enjoy life anymore i just want to die but dont want to commit suïcide while all of my friends are enjoying life and focussing on their grades you have me who is failing for almost every class because i cant find the motivation to do something my parents are mad at me all the time because of it but they dont know what im going through because they dont understand depression and neither do my friends i just hope that ill sleep tonight and just never wake up or that i get hit by a car tomorrow i feel like there is nothing in life that makes happy and everyrime i get friends with someone they ghost me eventually or they want to use me my parents are also dissappinted in me and they say things like that they are ashamed of me and dont want to be seen with me on the streers it feels like no one will miss me if i will be gone no one ever asks me if im doing fine i just feel so damn lonely and i hate it i dont even know if someone will read this but since i have no one to talk to this seemed like the only way to get things off my chest sorry for my bad english btw,3.0
42040,rt brianbeutler republicans will defend trump all the way until every election turns on which party hands over more of us foreign policy,0.0
42041,krisme bad changes for me  that i dont know how i will cope with sigh ,2.0
42042,dustinsweeney well your awesome no matter what that other guy says ,0.0
42043,captainspecial hi conrad how are you loving the new album ,0.0
42044,kimibee booo that sucks im sorry  but youll always have that memory im sure he wont forget soon either hehe ,2.0
42045,hey guys i have a bad habit of needing constant emotional support from my girlfreind and if i dont i usually panic myself until i can talk to her again i live a lonely life during high school i was completely fine doing ok and just scraping by but recently i cant do anything without her by my side its hard to explain but i feel lost and scared and i dont know what to do   i desperately need a fix for this because it is ruining my life right now and that makes me feel worse about myself  thank you for the advice,3.0
42046,good morning tweeters rainy here have a good day ,0.0
42047,depressed pissed off and lost so i know for a fact that you all of seen posts like this and i dont want to annoy any of you so if you hate these posts then feel free to pass by or something idfkanyway im pretty depressed cuz i have no friends and am a senior in highschool no girlfriend in fact i havent been with one ever and really nothing to do with myself other than lift weights and do my work or play a video game ive had this strong sort of hate towards the mainstream and hate all the trends that have circled around im sure you know what im on about im talking about the shit heads that smoke juuls and listen to trap music or anything thats bound to get old quickdrake im a metal head and i grew up in a town with no one else who shares that i love pantera or some slayer and not the bullshit people listen to now annnyyyway the reason why im depressed is because ive never found that group that i fit in with all of my previous friends left me because they wanted to smoke and drink and use people for their money fucked am i right i feel like shit for not going to parties or being with a girl at least once shit pisses me off that i live in this place especially when im in a town where every one is preppy so im not going to give you all the details but im sure you know whats good so what are your thoughts of this and what the fuck should i do to improve on myself because im tired of being alone and i cant do much about it since i hate a lot of people in my town i just dont know where i belongthank you,3.0
42048,i dont know what to do with myself im  confused about my own gender and identity im failing all of my college classes im afraid to tell my single dad that im failing because i started off so strongly i dont want to embroil my friends in my personal issues and i cant afford any therapy ive attempted suicide  times in the last  months and ive lost almost all of my personal belongings as a result my medical insurance doesnt cover any of the bills that ive racked up either im alone afraid and too comfortable with the idea of dying,3.0
42049,michelle needs to let me follow her so i can win her vera giveaway  ,0.0
42050,doesnt know what to do today but wants it to be good fun ,0.0
42051,is it normal for intense emotional pain to cause headaches and a hot forehead the past few months have been some of the worst in my life and i am losing my battle the pain i am feeling for hours straight every day is more intense than ever the only times i have felt this way have been when a close family member has died i keep making myself purposely feel worse so it gets really really bad after sessions of self inflicted misery i have huge headaches and my forehead feels hotwhat would cause this is it normal am i imagining it thanks,3.0
42052,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
42053,hazziealias hahaha hey mommy so good to see you here finally come over we bake together la baking cakes alone sucks ,0.0
42054,is going to bed ,0.0
42055,ugh pandastream kills me ,2.0
42056,michaelnugent do it  and invite your friends i invited everyone too hehe,0.0
42057,this is funny my life i know my jokes are lame afbut seriously tho disclaimer im sorry if you clicked on this wanted to find something funny but theres actually nothing herethe thing is ive been unmotivated and ambitionless for white a longggg while now and i dont see the day that i become ambition at all so because of that ive been avoid dating a lottt you know its just i dont want to drag anyone down with me in the darkness but i still feel very lonely and really needs someone since ive been alone for my entire life now i havent had any dates since the day i was born and that makes me reallly craving for the feels that it will bring maybe even giving me some motivation for god sake but yeaaaaaa nooooso even though im still not planning on dating anyone i still want to feel a tini tiny bit better so i went on google and searched for should ambtionless date in hoping of some pages popping up saying yes dont feel bad or something like yes there are people who accepts you  and guess what theyre all no no no and no now i feel like a fckin useless piece of sheeet not that i wasnt feeling like that at the beginning now im just feeling more useless and just bam there goes all my esteem and hope for life hahawhat am i trying to achieve with this post i have no fkin clue i guess im just out of my mind at  am and need to virtually scream at something to feel maybe better i fkin hate this thank you for reading maybe comment so i have some more things to scream at or maybe sorry for wasting your time have a good day or night but i guess after reading this sheet it will make you feel sheet too well then im sorry but i will still post this just because sorry,3.0
42058,tis an awful day ,2.0
42059,saw kate tonightawesome night still buzzing should be in bed ,0.0
42060,rt lindsaygholmes men are far less likely to speak up about mental health these public figures are helping to change that httpstco,2.0
42061,shamhardy wed better put a stop to this discussion silent racists pretending  be nationalists might unfollow us later ,0.0
42062,anxiety through the roof and i feel like shit 🙃,0.0
42063,lindseythefirst have a lovely hol  i was there years ago when it was yugoslavia place called porec lovely ,0.0
42064,its been getting worse i know i should be getting counselling but i am too depressed to reach out i want it all to just blow overi just wanna die,3.0
42065,volratho ew gross hours ,2.0
42066,chrismb ah im so jealous  im in the same boat as you my contract doesnt end until feb so i might just skip this model ,2.0
42067,bittlerelly what was thedating advice wait for him ,0.0
42068,just working on some tracks for the albumand thinking up a theme as well god im really wired off these monster energy drinks lol ,0.0
42069, didnt attend the service itself only the party afterwards ,0.0
42070,samscheerter zexynurse wtffffever  please dont talk about me to much while i go take a shower ,0.0
42071,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
42072,lonely during holidays am i the only person middle age who has never been invited to a party like new years or christmas or birthday i posting this in the right spot makes me sad year after year esp during the holidays anyone else same,3.0
42073,depression caused me to push away my wife so this is a bit of some shit ive been depressed for a long while i cant even remember the last time i was truly happy save the bit im about to tell you i finally found a girl that made me happy we were together for some time when i eventually proposed to her she of course said yes about  weeks later we found out she was pregnant she was so scared and i was too but i tried to make sure she didnt know after a couple weeks the excitement kicked in unfortunately the excitement came to an early end and we lost our bundle of joy on new years day  this really messed me up days started merging together weeks felt like months she was planning our wedding and i just wasnt there i couldnt get myself out of this hole i couldnt give her the love and affection she rightfully deserved with knowledge that i know now she felt trapped in our relationship and decided to go through with the wedding anyways hoping that things would get better we got married about one month ago and i felt indifferent the honeymoon phase just wasnt there she had been telling me for months that i need to go to the doctor and get myself figured out truthfully i was afraid to go i was afraid of what i would be told or maybe it was my pride one night she just decided she was done being sad she informed that she hasnt been in love with me this entire time to me that was a kick in the nuts and i got my ass up and made an appointment i have a psychiatric and counseling scheduled this week nervous but excited i love her more than anything in this world but she has made it very apparent that she wants different things in this world and that she doesnt love me any ideas on what to do to win or back or should i let her go and focus on myself ive left out some details if you have questions ask ill be happy to answer lsdr wife left because my depression pushed her away dunno what to do,3.0
42074,sarahceralvo thanks for giving the song titles ill dl it later  see you soon ,0.0
42075,httpnoisypoppynetrandomdozejpg  on screen keyboard so i can take a screenshot  no printscreen button on mbp  ,2.0
42076,can someone help me i am trying to see who is following me but i cant see anything when i click on followers ,2.0
42077,at the fire dept today  whoo hoo ,0.0
42078,hollyhuddleston httpbitlyfotuk  did u get  c my cousin with his new wham video wham is backk ,0.0
42079,happy mothers day ,0.0
42080,wow i get updates from my favorite news channel and the sad thing is that most of them are bad and about  of them are good ,2.0
42081,lifeinoleg this collection took me about  of constant collecting  time to start anew,2.0
42082,hey im not sure whos online but uhhh im extremely uncomfortable and having some really bad anxiety with interm ,2.0
42083,agustinap wy does  frm miami nd  go  the caribbean  try a winter in chicago agustina ull nevr fret weather at home again ,0.0
42084,wpevocom was owned by pavlow ,0.0
42085,teifion i do know science  thank you,0.0
42086,mooseblaster people are convinced for no real reason that the lib dems arent an option so the tories are all thats left ,2.0
42087, howve u been  ive been crazy busy and gotten no writing done lately ,2.0
42088,back at work ,2.0
42089,finished season  of skins amp now uglyboy is here ,0.0
42090,where did the sun go ,2.0
42091,i just found out today that my bestfriend is back to her old habit again sad ,2.0
42092,bloler ha hahe is indeed very talented  i was expecting him to actually land on the egg though  not just tap it on the top,0.0
42093,jammin to some old reggaeotn good times ,0.0
42094,a bad day hi im feeling really bad im right now at a job where i work as recepcionist and everybody else seems to have work to do around here but me i cant find a partner i havent had any relationships and im  years old i dont pay attention to what people tell me sometimes i feel like a fool at doing bascially anything i watch porn and i get horny at least a couple of hours a dayi waste my time with social apps recently i went on vacations and i used my credit card almost all the time so ill be in seriously in debt next monthi dont eat well and i do too much exercise i daydream about losing a little weight to look better cant decide if i want to study and what to study i want to live abroad but i dont know how or rather i do know but i just dont know where or how to start i feel envy about those who brag about that they have a lot work to do and are really busy i know it makes them feel good about themselves when i see a guy that i really like i think its not impossible to have someone like him by my side im tired and i dont know where all this might lead but sometimes i just want everything to be over,3.0
42095,i like my new profile picture on facebook i look shady mean rascallike rowdylike in it  mua ha ha ha ha ha,0.0
42096,chadpetersen heard good things about you leading worship yesterday hope you enjoyed it  wish i couldve been there,0.0
42097,fb rocks ive met my long lost friends in elementary days finally  ,0.0
42098,beautiful ,1.0
42099,depression can  replace ssris ,1.0
42100,rt andyerikson im recording a podcast with palegurl and we need some user questions any questions about marfans syndrome anxiety or,2.0
42101,holy shit someone bought my house  ughhh thats why when i went there i didnt see a for sale sign  well im depressed,2.0
42102,help pls i am trying to fight depression its been  and i tired to commit suicide  but i failed i need help i dont know what to do,3.0
42103,swine flu has infected me  im going to die tear sob,2.0
42104,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
42105,finally reading quotcost conundrumquot nyorker req reading in the wh about health care i heard abt senators ditchin public opt already ,2.0
42106,me to my depression trying to get out of bed in the morning,2.0
42107,is this what people mean when they say theyre at a dead end i literallydont have anything to live for all these months of therapy and hospitalization lead me to believe something different for the longest but i dont have anything im not someone important so i dont have a cool reputation to live up to i dont have any family that can tell me they love me and want me to be alive i dont have any friends that truly care about me the only person trying to keep me from being dead is my therapist and thats just because he doesnt wanna fail at his job i had one thing that kept me happy for so many years and that was this group called bts but even they arent helping these days i can barely handle being clinically depressed so being lonely on top of it i just dont see the point in staying alive any more,3.0
42108,new kitten jumped right into the toilet tonighthad his first bath  he hated it  poor little guy ,2.0
42109,mcrmuffin ,0.0
42110,ok time to go to the dentist ,2.0
42111,i want to kill myself only reason im even still alive is because of my parents and brother recently my dad found out that i was suicidal and started crying i havent seen my dad cry once in the  years ive been alivei have no friends dont even remember the last time i talked to a girl unless it was school related all i really do is go to school and then sit at home all day watching youtube videos and playing video gamesim also extremely overweight but i dont care enough about myself to do anything about it i feel like losing weight isnt going to fix any of my problemsim about to graduate from university with an accounting major and a  gpa but have no job lined up because im too shy and socially anxious to go to networking events and do interviewsi really have nothing to live for only thing keeping me alive is the fact that my parents would be devastated if i were to die,3.0
42112,ugh im so tired and i cant sleep  sel you online,0.0
42113,phxhyna  thanks missy  hopefully i will now just got out of work amp the weather is great same to you tho ,0.0
42114,alvidiandri just graduated from hs today with excellent grades congrats dan all the hard work really paid off ,0.0
42115,i wished i lived the normal teenage life i hate when adults and other teenagers say i know man life is tough being a teenager sucks but we all go through itwhat makes me angry is that most of the people that say that had a high school experience  better than minefor most people ashitty time in high school is when they got busted at a party they went to or when their friend dated their ex or being friendzoned to them thats a terrible lifeive never even been friends with a girl in the first place  let alone friendzonedi wish i had an ex for my friend to datei wish i got invited to parties in the first place even if i got in troublebeing isolated and alone like me is not a normal teenage life and im sick of people trying to relate to me i want to commit suicide because i see no point in living such a mediocre life when everyone else is happy for example im literally the only boy in my grade whos never had a gf im basically living some shitty demofreetrial version of life without experiencing the good stuff,3.0
42116,thisisrobthomas psi needed that as had to lay off  people last week  sucks ,2.0
42117,not looking good for flight this morning ,2.0
42118,really wants his phone back ,2.0
42119,congrats hebrewzzi for jewing your way into a free lunch  kudos ,0.0
42120,maninablackjeep i went and i am glad i did thanks ,0.0
42121,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
42122,jon and kate are making me cry  i dont want them to separate i feel so sorry for the kids they dont deserve this,2.0
42123,anyone here in late  i have a great job working overseas have a few friends eats healthy tries to exercise as much as possible but i still feel down and depressed still thinks about just trying to disappear one day but i feel like that will be unfair for my family anyone here who in other peoples perspective seems to have it all together but still feels down and depressed,3.0
42124,ill try to get my detailed review of quotthe ultimatum quot out by tmr  httpdramafocuscom ,0.0
42125,ahoyjaz yeah not  i had a pretty chilled weekend hung out with mates had some beers nothing huge whats on for the week ,0.0
42126,listenin to the beach  ,0.0
42127,dont know what to do anymore honestly i feel like im suffocating and i dont know how much longer i can keep myself afloat ive always suffered some sort of depression as a teen it should be expected but ever since my mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack feb   i keep getting worse im only  and my dad isnt really around anymore i pay for the little food i can afford while hes off with his new girlfriend taking trips to mexico they were married for  years and not even month after her death he was dating my heart hurts everyday knowing ill never hear the stupid nickname she gave me everytime i walk passed the driveway where she died i die a little more inside she was my best friend and i was hers she believed in me and did almost everything for me my anchor is gone in my life and i cant bring myself to care anymore i dont really want to kill myself but i wouldnt care if i died i went from having great grades and having dreams of going away to school now i just get average grades and could care less if i lived on the streets my head is broken i cant concentrate anymore and every time someone asks me about my mom or even just the word mom makes me panic and i get defensive or mad im too afraid to go somewhere for help because im not  yet my dad cant know im a failure too when im alone i feel so lonely but when im out with friends i just want to be alone i just really want my best friend back shell never see me graduate highschool and i could less of a fuck even if i do graduate im constantly scared that my cats the only thing i love left in this world will suddenly die and ill be truly alone she loved them as much as i do and i know they miss her im either starving myself or binge eating so my weight drops and goes up all the time the last homecooked meal i had was the spaghetti she made the night before she died and i cant stand it anymore sometimes i wonder if i have some type of ptsd but i cant get resources for help fuck it nothing really matters anyway i dont believe in god or an afterlife so dont even try and give me the cliche shes always with you i just wish i was never born sometimes then i wouldnt feel so shitty all the time its bullshit that your teenage years are the best ones of your life sorry if this looks like it was written by a fiveyearold im exhausted and feeling shittier than usual,3.0
42128,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
42129,rt swizzywrightt maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too,1.0
42130,rt  anxiety through the roof and i feel like shit 🙃,0.0
42131,calihypocrisy im mad im like you shoulda done someone else i could have had sing it loud  i dont like tft,2.0
42132,dulcemaria amazing i cant wait i love summer of love ,0.0
42133,had an amazing weekend  now we are back to work ,0.0
42134,laileeang im using it im using it weve already removed the wrapping so we cant return it anyway ,0.0
42135,its  dollars but this bag looked so nice we bought   were also almost to our seats   photo ,2.0
42136,rt evelynnfloress a female can be fully clothed and a guy would still want to fuck her  just because a girl shows her body doesnt mean,0.0
42137,blissful afternoon with the hubby jacuzzi massage foot reflex at helioasia then shoe shopping and japanese dinner ,0.0
42138,johannacherry short answer no  long answer probably not ,0.0
42139,things were going great lots of friends did well in school now things are going to shit im  and i was doing great in school i didnt have any trouble studying i had already applied for a good university that i was really looking forward to going to and had a lot of friendsthen some things came up and i got really busy with studying in school and had to work a lot and got really stressed for a little over a month i just studied and studied a lotzbut began to feel really empty and i hadnt made enough time to do stuff eith friends and felt kind of isolated some time later i wasnt really that busy with work and school anymore but i still felt empty i didnt have the energy to do things and i was starting to have trouble with concentrating on the little things i did have to do for school and work things quickly got worse and i felt like shit i couldnt study and i had this huge essay to write but i couldnt even concentrate on it for  minutes i got some really shitty grades and i didnt want to do anything anymore i started having suicidal thoughts now i have even more assignments than i already did im going to fail some more i feel like shit and i really dont want to live anymore i dont want to get out of bed anymore im failing my courses im feeling like a total fucking failure everything has gone to shit i dont even look forward to any of the good stuff anymore i dont like my free time anymore and i feel trapped in life im a fucking disgrace i was doing so well my last year and im failing it im letting people down all around me and more importantly im letting down the past me ,3.0
42140,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
42141,cant wait for saturday ,0.0
42142,i love surprising my bff  ,0.0
42143,dennisl imagine her dealing with an accessibility lawsuit  no one quite like judge judy,0.0
42144,ofevangeline i wish i was there  soon soon,2.0
42145,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
42146,alisejohnson awesome mine was good but way tired now  need moar rest ,0.0
42147,i got my own shit i bet not stress over a nigga hoe either 🤷🏽‍♀️,2.0
42148,cover of womanizer is going online today at  on myspace  get ready for the best cover song of your life lol xx,0.0
42149,phoenix tomorrow no all day manny fun ,2.0
42150,what a grey bank holiday watching wallace and gromit cheered me up ,0.0
42151,grr i need headphones ,2.0
42152,candiesandmusic xgracestackx oh i just googled them theyre like the jonas bros lol ill catch up soon ,0.0
42153,hey the new fb app for bb is superfast but still has some flaws wellwhat do i expect theres no perfection but god ,0.0
42154,rt factsofschool school hasnt even started yet but my stress has,1.0
42155,fickleknitter im sorry youre let with with so ew options for lipping off dll but you did make me lol ,0.0
42156,false promises ive been feeling worse lately ive tried to do fun things with my best friend like taking a hike together or coming over to his house to have dinner together but he cancelled twice because of good reasons now its difficult to look forward to that kind of things today he said i could talk to him about him about how i am feeling but he hasnt responded now i feel worse i cant take the false promises anymore,3.0
42157,need to talk i turned  about  hours ago i am not in a good place is there anyone who i can chat with feeling really alone right now,3.0
42158,i dont know how to cope with this level of loneliness i feel so alone every guy i get close to seems to just use me and treat me like im disposable all i really want in life is a genuine connection to really mean something to someone but it seems to allude me at every turn ,3.0
42159,i was so skinnyim a little sad but im not smoking a pack of woods a day again healthyweight lmfao ,2.0
42160,heading off to the land of tumbleweed and far open spaces ,0.0
42161,nsw cant wait for game  first ever origin game ill see live ,0.0
42162,rt itsbeeyah kakamiss mag ros mag download na sad ko yiieeet,2.0
42163,recreating saturday morning cartoons garfield ninja turtles magilla gorilla and beetlejuice maybe some dinosaurs thrown in  ,0.0
42164,my sister re dreambears again quotwhat theyre marriedquot  lmao bgt,0.0
42165,going to take a bath  i just cant wait to see sol i didnt see her for a long time ,2.0
42166,is watching the waynes brothers ,0.0
42167,hiya if anybody want to talk to me about anything im always around to talk i can try help in anyway possible message me if you need to ill get back to you as soon as possible i just want to send some love around tonight,3.0
42168,madeleineannie got the plane tickets last week  xo,0.0
42169,i wish there was more i could do then just copy paste and retweet  iranelection,2.0
42170,bostonglobe based on the comments it seems as though they arent valued anyway  pretty sad,1.0
42171,i tried to open up and i tried to open up about my struggles to someone and they assumed i was depressed because i was being treated poorly by my significant other when in reality my so is the only person that has been supportive am i being dramatic because im infuriated by them assuming such a thing,3.0
42172,i thought i was getting better to give a brief summary of whats happened in the past two yearsive attempted suicide three times two of which i have ended up in hospital i was given medication etc i was working a fulltime job as a kitchen designer and i still am i enjoy it a lot i love the people i work with i did return to that job however every night i would have suicidal thoughts no matter what a technique i used which prevented such thoughts was by physically exhausting myself so once i laid down on the bed i would just fall asleep very quickly i would do this by requesting a ridiculous amount of overtime which was granted to mehalf a year ago due to decrease in sales  no overtime is allowed anymorei started jobseeking three months ago i was hired as a data analyst whereby i would be working fulltime four days per week my original job was tailored to the schedule of my new job i convinced myself the reason for why im doing this is for the extraincome and i need to save enough to start my own business in the future i drilled this into my head investing my spare time in learning about how businesses in a particular field works etc on average i work  hours a week if i include travel time thats approximately  per week ive been keeping this up for  months but now i am just exhausted however i genuinely believe if i do not do this if i do have a sufficient amount of energy and free time i would edge closer towards another suicide attempt the last time i spoke to a psychiatrist i mentioned this and i was given the option of visiting a psychiatric ward for a minimum of  days to an indefinite period of time depending on how i feel i refused since i do not see how this would benefit me yes theres a high chance i would be prevented from attempting suicide but at the cost of my financial freedom families and friends my health has taken a hit but this is the only way i know how to prevent myself from taking a knife to myself or overdosing once those thoughts consume me i was tempted to quit either of the two because i feel too tired but the moment i do that may be the end i do not want to diei dont know what im expecting from posting this but thank you for reading just saying this out loud feels slightly better,3.0
42173,says lets get high on the food chain love ,0.0
42174,my false nail has just fallen off  looks silly now hah xx,2.0
42175,being a depressive junkie in quarentine sucks and i can barely hold my shit together everyting pisses the fuck outta memy palms are always dripping sweat and i cant stop scratching myselfim beyond desperation now and ive never been so scared before,3.0
42176, aw bummer but at least you can rewatch it  my net disconnected  times  i got angry and swore ,0.0
42177,im surrounding myself with people yet i feel so alone im often throwing parties at my home and there are always many different people about  mostly and we have a lot of fun but after the partys over i feel like i do not exist for any of them no one asks me to hang out but i still see them posting online about what cool activities they do togetheri just want to cryi dont have any energy to make myself food and a guy is stuck in my head but i know all he could ever want from me is sex again but i want affection i want somebody to be there with me without me feeling awkward in any way i wish there was someone i could call in such situations instead of posting it online,3.0
42178,timdisaster thanks man ,2.0
42179,issteph i think about how i never saw a man in a kilt my whole visit  ,2.0
42180,lagy really really sad about it  hope theyll trade back but not expecting it,2.0
42181,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
42182,leighbc  nope  no idea who that is    vortex a sushi place ive never been to and chains  edgewood rusan figo  shanes,0.0
42183,nayvan wow ntar kalo udah show reguler gw nonton ah  thanks reviewnya nad,0.0
42184,thinx its time for new friends ,2.0
42185, score for the canadianshehoh and hey ,0.0
42186,jaynehowarth you cant deny its off the cuteness scale ,0.0
42187,a quiet thursday and ive got alot of things to complete ,2.0
42188,sbenglin time is relative i feel like you just left for your trip ,2.0
42189,nightlightnicol hahaha let me try to find another ,0.0
42190,would you be happy if you had money if you could live a comfortable life without wondering if youll have a job tomorrow morning i was already living paycheck to paycheck and then losing my job due to  a few weeks back put me in a situation where i may lose my home this has already fing happened once not again but its like i have no control here i just wish money wasnt the source of all my misery,3.0
42191,mupnorth yay cant wait to watch ,0.0
42192,stay at home parents let me start by saying i love being a mom i have a  year old and have been a stay at home mom since he was born but my depression feels like a monster that everyday is getting stronger the constant routine of daily life is wearing me down cleaning cooking bath time nap time playtime every day  its like a tape on repeat everyday of my life i want to scream and cry i feel empty but i know as a mom i should be so damn happy but im not but its not my baby im unhappy about he is the only good thing in my lifethe only reason i wake up and do things i dont want to idk im just rambling ,3.0
42193,just realised that gss starts today ,0.0
42194,harparora vision board sounds exciting  hope you will share ,0.0
42195,bible verses about fear and anxiety httpstcophhsxvvbsq,1.0
42196,helping people at work understand so i need some advice ive been struggling with me depression for  years now by and large ive had it under control ive had some worrying spells including a month where i cut myself off of everyone in my life and started pricing rope until my dad broke in to my place and saved me but lately things have been getting worse im in a really low place at the minute that is taking a real effort to try and pull myself out of for those who may worry theres no risk of self harm or suicidal thoughts im too much of a coward for that but thats not the reason for this postat work there is only me and  others the other  are perfectly normal people around my age with lives of there own they just cannot seem to understand why i dont talk anymore and why i seem grumpy no amount of telling them im going through a rough patch and patience is required seems to get through to them instead they double down on trying to be super cheery and try to include me every inane conversation like i get the reasoning but no i dont give a shit about your infatuation with apple fred nor do i particularly care how the new sprog is doing jane just let me work and be quiet ill force the smile and the jokes with customers but see no reason to wear the mask with you two yet nothing gets through to them its honestly making me feel even worse i dread coming to work now even more than usual just because i fear what they will do nextso please does anyone have any advice on talking to people like this i really struggle with getting ideas across and its quite easy to talk over me if people wanted which makes this so much harder to get others to understand i really need some help because otherwise the only alternative is walking out of this job and that will work out so badly,3.0
42197,andyroddick yay andy keep it up ,0.0
42198,jamiewdunn where are you sounds like yocklesville you heading home ,0.0
42199,loves the tudors jonathon is hot i only get to watch them when my mummy is not around ,2.0
42200,is tired as helltime to count sheepoh yeahis trying to figure out how to use his newused slr camera ,0.0
42201,monday   so sleepy,2.0
42202,wants the new iphone os  it is not up for download yet ,2.0
42203,minaversion indeed ill be burnt soon ,2.0
42204,i often wish i could be in a relationship someone that also struggles with depression anyone else im a  year old male in socal and i have struggled with depression and anxiety for a number of years ive always been so alone so lonely i have friends and family but they dont understand i always feel like theres a glass wall diving myself from others i know far too well what it feels like and i think i could contribute to someone dealing with this as well i want someone to understand that laying in bed in a dark room isnt laziness that wanting to be held or hold someone matters more than any sort of income or material things someone to feel confident saying exactly what is on their mind without fear of being shamed i dont mind having awkward dates sitting awkwardly but enjoying companyi like being social but i have my moments of awkwardness i just want to live life with someone who understands wants to be helped as much as they want to help as well i dont know im just in my dark room and i wish there was someone here to hold,3.0
42205,is life really supposed to be this shitty life for me has been the shittiest thing imaginable most of my early youth was my parents stressed the fuck out cause of bills and me dealing with the fucking travesty that is the public school education system also being diagnosed with asd im mentally retarded and cant talk to anyone i constantly wanted to die cause i felt bad for not being a really smart person and my parents needing to spend money on me  since i am autistic they sent me to the slow people class which pretty much in my opinion forced me to be lazier and stupider i ended up graduating with a  gpa better then the people in the slow people class and im fkd on what to do university is terrifying for me like putting  into an education that maybe will get me a job that i could probably enjoy maybe that carrier stops becoming profitable or no ones hiring so i need to go into some other carrier i dont even like to just survive also working  hours a week seems horrifying like i worked retail  days a week in the summer last year and i wanted to blow my brains out like nothing about my future seems enjoyable sorry if this was posted before i really wanted to vent,3.0
42206,playing wii w the gfand losing ,2.0
42207,has been restless and unable to sleep all night ,2.0
42208,cecycorrea i actually live in baton rouge but its fine here  a little chilly but nice how are you,0.0
42209,mulletmonitor  crying wouldnt help,2.0
42210,i want to go home  years old and im back living with my parents after being in an apartment  years  my boyfriend and i are on a break i miss him i miss our life i cant wait for february break to be over so i can go back to teaching that keeps me going,3.0
42211,taking in the local art ,0.0
42212,hasnt left my room all day ,2.0
42213,i think imma take a break from them  let my real nails breathe  a while ive said that  but always end up putting them right back on ,2.0
42214,rt smeltzerb ,1.0
42215,i think i traumatized the parakeet now ,0.0
42216,i feel like ive taken ten steps backwards my family is extremely toxic  everyone is very bullyish aggressive and if you are weak or sensitive  they will chew you up and spit you out i lived with them until i was  and when i moved out it was a huge weight off my shoulders i still struggled with pretty severe depression suicidal tendencies and i was definitely traumatized by my upbringing but at least my home was safe and quiet i didnt dread coming home  wondering what the fight would be that night i would still go to their house and visit  but if it got bad  i could go home well i got a great new job yay that is  hours away from where i lived i have an apartment lined up  but cant move in until april  so in the meantime i have had to stay with my family  weeks total i feel like what little hard earned progress ive made has been flushed down the toilet my stepdad is furious im here and reminds me daily he makes no secret of the fact that he wants me out of his family i am forever the other my mom was the one who convinced me to stay with them  but then holds it over my head i have  more weeks and i truly have no idea how i am going to manage without having a major breakdown luckily once i am in my new place  ill be far away they will go on pretending i dont exist  and hopefully i can start therapy ,3.0
42217,yum more strawberries please ,0.0
42218, haha that would be really awkward hahaha lol ,0.0
42219,thank you nerdboytv  i dont have an iphone  this is my baby  old school lol,2.0
42220,im at the lowest point of my depression and i cant stop questioning my friends basically the titlei had something of a depressive state for years now but it wasnt severe so i didnt want to admit it i thought it was just a bad mood or bad day or bad melancholic mewell its certainly something way more awful now i feel completely bland and indifférent when im relaxed and i fall powerless and cant speak or stop crying when my depression attacksand so i started to question people i knew for three years or more i met w them online and all these years theyve been so nice to me and talking with them on discord always made me feel betterdont know now doesnt help that my lover is one of them and lives not so far away but in another city i never had a reason to be jealous but now i am and it hurts me so muchi feel like im going insane and my life is collapsing around me,3.0
42221,thebrandicyrus its relly cool aboot ur song butt am still sad idk whut happened  miley i hope shes fellin ok ,2.0
42222,been on the phone with my mama the last  hours i miss her so much ,2.0
42223,well bout to watch a lil tv then go to bed early ,2.0
42224,jengroover camel croco tote even though i already twittered this to butlerbag  still gotta try ,0.0
42225,my nose is draining  but everything else feels wayyy better ,0.0
42226,had fun with the girls drinking margaritas and now sitting at home watching glory road ,0.0
42227,so elliot didnt show up for the run today i ran only now i have a quarter size blister ,2.0
42228,havent been to school in almost a month dont know if i could even make it today ,3.0
42229,ticklemejoey goodnight baby loll jk night ,0.0
42230,eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh eat flesh,3.0
42231,idk where the fuck to put this so here it goes i guess i have no one to tell this to so im resorting to strangers on the internet to hear me out another new low in my life all my life i have been overprotected being the youngest in a family of  siblings and the only boy i could say my life has been pretty privileged we werent rich at all but i had all the commodities a kid could want i spent much of my younger years playing with my cousins and playing nintendo  i guess im giving you this cheesy introduction because i too cant really pinpoint the stem of my problems maybe it happened when i was a kid and i cant remember maybe in high school and i have it all blocked out or during my current years of college where ive broken down a handful of times more than id like to admit i dont think my anxiety and depression stem from childhood since it was pretty average to be honest the only thing i remember that could affect me now could be the times i was put on the spot by my teachers ive never liked reading out loud and my breath gets all caught up when in front of a class and the teachers would often scold me and go you are how many years old and you still cant read that shit killed me anyway i dont think those things alone are what messed me up maybe its the things that i cant remember like how my father was absent for a whole year because my mom found out he had another woman in his life who gave birth to a stepbrother ive never known he is aprox my age from what ive gathered but no one talks about it i dont think this is what affects me because i cant remember my dad being absent or asking about him or hearing them fighting or whatever also i think i found out about this when i was  years old heavily emphasized think because maybe i have that blocked out of my memory im pretty sure my confidence and anxiety issues could be traced back to my teenage years i was introduced to sexuality at the very young age of  which i guess accelerated and elevated the process of puberty idk i was part of the bullying misfits because i was afraid of getting bullied myself and was an outcast even in the outcast group because i had a stable family and a biggerthanaverage house all the other kids parents were going through divorce or some type of crisis which turned me into a target anyway my classrooms were hostile as it can be during high school if you showed emotions or interests that werent the norm youd get called out and made fun of you always had to know to be quiet and when to make fun of other people it all got worse when i had a girlfriend with horrible parents and siblings she had zero confidence and weird interests so she would get constantly bullied and i suffered the same because i was with her it absolutely sucked i hated going into class every day and i still consider it the worst years of my life in college i didnt know what to do my mom wanted me to be either a doctor or engineer and i thought i had an interest in engineering because i liked to know how things worked needless to say it didnt worked out problem is it took me two and a half years to be brave enough to tell my parents i wasnt doing good in school and that it just wasnt for me they took it very badly constantly reminding me of all the time wasted and money wasted every day the feeling of letting them down overwhelmed me and i just couldnt think of anything that could fix it i was  then broke and living with my parents without knowing what to do my parents decided to put me in business administration which in my city is known for being a pretty useless degree but degree nonetheless ive always had businesses so i felt it natural to go this way and couldnt complain since they put me in a very expensive school i had been working for  years at my family business owned by my father my sister and her husband works there aswell started sweeping floors and ended in storage department the business is resale of air filters it is a good business because i live in a city where the main workforce is the industry i figured out how to manufacture a special type of filter for much cheaper than what my father buys them for and with ecological materials it was the toughest challenge of my life and had a bunch of problems coming up with ways to make it work every day there was a new problem and i hit a roadblock at least twice a week eventually i figured out how to make it work with little to no help at all i asked my dad for help and he just said work it out on yourself asked my sisters husband for advice many times until he finally said i dont care i dont want to know they all turned me down when i had no idea what to do and i figured it was fine if i am going to do this i have to be the one to make it work after a few months of constant errors i finally had a finished and professional product the problem is i did not finance it my dad put all the money into it which is max a thousand dollars and i did all the planning and production everyone was happy that i made it work and started replacing our manufactured filters instead of the resale filters cheaper for the customer and a bigger profit for my dad i was still working for minimum wage when the sales exceeded  dollars per month i am not from the us so its a huge number i felt scammed since i was working for basically nothing a month producing the filters i created without receiving profit and knowing that it was going directly to the people that didnt helped me at all but these people are my family so what the fuck do i do my dad pays for my school lets me borrow a car and gives me a place to stay i just dont know how i could ask for anything but a huge part of me thinks that i am not getting the credit for what i worked so hard for now i am stuck feeling scammed failing a career i have absolutely no interest in i dont know if i am depressed i dont know why i am so anxious all the time ive pushed most of my friends out of my life for no apparent reasons and there are days that i speak only to my girlfriend i try to stay out of my house as much as possible and hate when i am around feeling like i dont do anything i never finish anything i start and dont enjoy things that much as i should fuck i was about to stop writing this shitty thing for at least three times because i know its trash even now im worried about what the person reading this might think i know you dont know me and dont care because why would you i dont want to talk about this to my girlfriend or anyone because i know its such a pain to stand there and listen to someone whine i fucking hate my life and just wish i had made the right decisions which only god knows the fuck they were congrats if you managed to read this to the very end it was as hard for me write these shitty semicoherent paragraphs as i am sure it was hard for you to read them bye ,3.0
42232,waiting on the ipod touch  gen jailbreak  itouch  always left fa last ,2.0
42233,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
42234,im reallly overlyemotional i just cried cause i saw an ant fighting for its life ,2.0
42235,had a great adventure with mandydemoo and michellehlee  meet some ninja turtles from brazil ,0.0
42236,cosmodcgal oh and ill stay online just in case you want to talk ,0.0
42237, im scared for the wisdom teeth excited for the chrysler thing though free foodchryslers ,0.0
42238,deystany  my nig u welkum anytyme but u gotta stop getn my name wrong on hrr dammit lol anywaz i get tht shyt wit tha braids ,0.0
42239,  todays is katies birthday this is what dad got herfor the weekend ,0.0
42240,charlyred you do realise im gonna have to bonk like buggery to get this lot off and its alllllllllllll your fault young lady ,0.0
42241,worse with every loop cant stop the negative thinking about how everything in my life is fucked up beyond repair through poor decisions and also situations and circumstances out of my control i have zero future and no way of changing anything ive become trapped in a cycle of chronic pain and depressionanxiety its hard to tell the difference anymore between whether one causes the other or vice versa i cant work because of pain and crippling depression but ive also been denied social security because ive been told that im not disabled enough or depressed enough to where i couldnt just shove pills in my mouth and do somethingnot that i want to be eternally damned to living on a fixed income things were supposed to be so different i was on my way to a rewarding career and making damn good money then everything crumbled and i literally lost everything all of my intelligence and good looks didnt do anything for my life against physically disabling conditions and chemical imbalances now i cant stop the carousel of shitty thoughts that just plays over and over in my head every day i have zero friends anymore i dont talk to my family i dont work honestly i barely even leave my house my shitty ex wife has done everything in her power to punish me and alienate me from my children after i could no longer care for them half time anymore after my injuries and spiral downward now my life is so small im going insane from boredom and isolation and i get full blown panic attacks trying not to think about how everything is so fucked up and how i really cant fix it i have bipolar ii ptsd ocd adhd and gadmy life is a shit show i just want to run away and never come back but i cant actually run anymore lol and i have no money and i love my children too much to abandon them my children keep me alive but also are part of the reason why i am so depressed and anxious about my life kind of fucked up in that way i honestly dont know how to handle myself anymore its gotten to the point that i will literally just stare at my phone and lay in bed the entire day i struggle to even put food in my mouth and when i do its usually only so i can get drunk and not be as hungover ,3.0
42242,catsparks yeahits the power of youtube ,0.0
42243,annonymouss no im confuzzled  ,0.0
42244,ill write you a song or draw you a picture or write a poem or short story for you im jst so sad and sick of having ,2.0
42245,shellyroche wait a minute  friday night  battlestar galactica cupcakes holy crap youre a nerd gasp  i am so telling ,0.0
42246,mtruland must be heartwrenching to watch  hope everything works out ok hang in there,2.0
42247,cherryflo yes i am i really wanted to go hang out with u guys ,2.0
42248,my  update god i dont have anything smart to say at the moment pintsli viskasin ka käest sest see ajas närvi ,0.0
42249,villykassiou yeah i have to study but i cant  i wanna go to the beach good luck with your exams hun    ,2.0
42250,i hope gets all the strength its such a sad news he must be having such a hard time 😔😔,1.0
42251,wants breakfast ,2.0
42252,gonna watch some jonas and then hit the hay i going to get lunch with mah boy jeremy tomorrow ,0.0
42253,mrgoodmorning lmao i know they look like trash i miss ya ,2.0
42254,i reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally want sims  my best friend was on it all night while i wasnt because my laptop isnt compatible ,2.0
42255,just got back from a partyhad a good time ,0.0
42256,rt kirakrause me to jake what makes you happy jakeburchfiel nothing im a sad emo gorl who jams out to papa roach everyday of my lif,1.0
42257,💜🦋🦋 this is a heart hearts do not trend i am sad send me a heart send anyone a heart send hearts to the world,0.0
42258,alfpyfla how come i dont get a hi ,2.0
42259,raaaaage im sick    great way start my summer eh just like last summer,2.0
42260,deejaymdot it was great meeting you last week at the media mesh unveiling as a memory refresher im  jorgefelixs sis ,0.0
42261,here are  safer natural alternatives to anxiety drugs ,1.0
42262,tommcfly hey tom  say hi to me please please please please please my hand will fall haha,2.0
42263,grandma told me earlier how grandpa serenaded her when they were still young how i wish my soontobe guy would do the same thing wink ,0.0
42264,got the new phone and am not quite sure i like it its just not the same and nowhere near as nice as the  that i had sigh ,2.0
42265,ufff lots to do today ,0.0
42266,russellmoyer olawd go see it its priceless  soooo funny,0.0
42267,elleestmignonne have a pleasant flight kak  salam buat adik adik esp ncus makasih kaaaak,0.0
42268,at work went to see angels and demons on friday night better than expected and had  birthday on sat all good fun cant wait till mine ,0.0
42269,cold cold cold i love it  ready to go to school ,0.0
42270,i cant even get angry anymore i dont know how to even start this off so ill just type whatever comes to my mind ive always been a very calm person no matter what but recently ive been getting weird small panic attacks its affecting my bladder i literally have to go to the toilet every hour or so i went to the doc but he couldnt find anything at all so he just set me up with some sort of counsellor i guess you could call it not sure since my primary language isnt english he says that im depressed and says i have a rough time recent events in my life really have been making an impact on my personality all of the sudden i just stopped caring about everything i have been speaking way more than i normally would i literally feel like shit every single day im getting ignored at school by people i used to befriend telling other people to ignore me like some sort of chain im sure ive been doing nothing wrong just one twat that all of the sudden started ignoring me yet every day i catch her looking at me whenever i comfront her she just laughs nervously and ignores me making me feel like shit everytime she does so yet i cant get angry i cant even remember the last time i let myself slip  sometimes i just wish i could get angry just to prove a point but i just cant i just feel useless and i just dont know what to do anymore ,3.0
42271, if you like  laughhave a good timefollow meits just that simple ,0.0
42272,just found out one of the people i know have the c disease ,2.0
42273,working   ready for my game tonight,2.0
42274,once again allstarrocks are geniuses  coming to a disney event but zachallstar forgot my name ,2.0
42275,rt dreamonlque depression is real check on your friends ask if theyre okay mentally sometimes they really just need a person thats,0.0
42276,welcome pbcat follow freude ,0.0
42277,im going to my cousins graduation and my moms  perfume is sufficating  ,2.0
42278,waking up late on my first my first day back  ,2.0
42279,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
42280, i feel you on the  am ,2.0
42281,another storm is rolling in the same old song againjust an all new versein a fight i cannot seem to winif i say the wordsshell take the blame and make it hersso i stay silentand only end up feeling worse,3.0
42282,i had a wonderful day with you  ,0.0
42283,grider shew thats awful  i hope you get some real rest soon,2.0
42284,and lastlythis how sure is lonely when feliciajustingarjazz and d leave but atleast i finished a song ,0.0
42285,tracylatz now were talkin  ,0.0
42286,happy diversity won bgt now about to go and read the rest of eclipse ,0.0
42287,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
42288,finally getting to brekky had to make the dog cats and wife happy first ,0.0
42289,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
42290,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
42291,samantharonson thanks for the warning luckily im gay so the chances of my husband being called peterson are vlow phew goodnight ,0.0
42292,therell  i didnt think much of odst at first either but all my fanboy friends keep talking about it ,0.0
42293,prep   bbq ,0.0
42294,ive not slept yet but i thought id write that as police shift  starts soon bad times georgie ,0.0
42295,sleeping in is very refreshing  on my way to school now might stop at starbucks,0.0
42296,teamworks man im jst just tipsy my dealer isnt on deck wit shit tonight  im kinda sad i need tht stickkyyyy,2.0
42297,mmmmmm warm warm bed ,0.0
42298,animasana remember carlos on our bus after sf free day hah good times sorry your camera is broken  you still have an ipod right,2.0
42299,i can feel another wave of depression beginning and im not ready im not ready to feel this way again i had a year of relative happiness since my last dark spell that almost resulted in the end of my life now is the single worst time for my depression to flair up againthis is one of the most important years of my life im graduating college in  months and im supposed to be preparing for my future i have jobs to apply to and tests to study for i cant handle this right now i want to go back to not feeling lonely i want to go back having passion and drive i want to go back to feeling normal i want so badly to study i want so badly to search for jobs but i just dont have the will to right now i dont know what to do a year ago i fought through my last wave of depression and i thought that would be the last of it just a month ago i felt normal how do i handle this how do you deal with these waves of torment,3.0
42300,i dont want to do or be anything i barely any will to do anything the thought of existing tomorrow seems bad the thought of continuing school and going to uni seems bad uni kinda good i guess but i dont want to die or even experience nonexistence im just aware of the fact that my i am perpetually dissatisfied with everything i think my only desire is to drive to the top of a hill that overlooks my town and smoke a durry or something similarly mindless but still something to focus while just thinking thats not to say i have no desire i still want to be a good person and i still love my family and dogs and friends those im pretty sure i have at least but everything feels hopeless right now tomorrow seems grim today in a years time feels grim all i really want to do is move out and move to an actual city and live alone or with people i like it feels like im alone and every direction is a bad one and whenif it gets better its only marginally i want nothing and everything at the same time and i hate yet dont care at the same time i dont enjoy much of anything anymore i have next to no hobbies not many friends and im too fucking lazy to put any of my energy into something productive so i just spend my time looking at the hangar screen of war thunder without playing any matches,3.0
42301,i feel sad ,2.0
42302,lakers make me smile  celebration anyone,0.0
42303,just finished watching hatching pete ,0.0
42304,is confused  ,2.0
42305,i hate tim for being in the hockey team who is competing against gosford nct week stupid billet or wateva it is kikin me outa mah room ,2.0
42306,about to go to bedsweating my butt off  dad leaves in the morningsee you sunday dad ,2.0
42307,rt daftlimmy heres an interview ,2.0
42308,tiffdiamonds lol  soooo out of handtotally agree    ,0.0
42309,rt nintendoushio anytime youre sad please just watch charles martinet interviewsive met this man twice and can confirm that he reall,0.0
42310,fixin to hit the hay yall i had a long day and i have achieved my status as ninja on the xbox   so happy about that xd,0.0
42311, running out of pulse but it was a funn call,0.0
42312,sonyaprincess i just got ur tweet  k haces manana,2.0
42313,i cant fucking take this anymore i do the same shit every day i barely even care enough to take care of myself im getting tired of living this way and just living in general my mind is starting to drift towards suicide because i dont feel like im cut out for this life im only a teenager and since i was little ive only been hearing about how hard life is and how shitty it is go to school for a quarter of my life yeah okay i guess work for the rest of my life at least i wont starve trying to live with all the dumb shit thats happened to this planet i dont fucking know this is all such bullshit and i seriously just wanna disappear im terrified of death but truly i dont want to live any longer,3.0
42314,couldnt sleep last night kept dreaming that we didnt have time to do anything at walt disney world and kept having to skip everything ,2.0
42315,rt  depression is like yes im happy and my life is good i look amazing every day but actually inside im lonely awful hea,0.0
42316,i am sorry   hear that   ,2.0
42317,tphaley ily  x,0.0
42318,happy mothers day to those mothers out there ,0.0
42319, ha ha thats awesome ,0.0
42320,aerodynamix the mix of bands we had in common was a reassuringly broad range of genre ,0.0
42321,nicolodavis looking very handsome  ,0.0
42322,thought that her roa last night was immensei so didnt want it to endsad times ,2.0
42323,lets go doyers lets go okay maybe a little too late ,2.0
42324,standingstones thank you will have a look later ,0.0
42325,experience with paxil hey guys i went to the doctor for the first time today and we spoke a lot about my depression and stuff and he prescribed paxil however i am worried does anyone have any experiences with it did it helpthanks ,3.0
42326,got to see ola but he didnt bring a box of coffee ,2.0
42327,its hard to drown out the bad memories if i were to compare my life moments to those of someone normal i would probably have just as much or even less bad memories the problem is that i dont have many good memories in my life to drown out the bad ones so my mind keeps wandering back to the same old memories even ones  years back on and on day after dayim stuck in a mental hole where my life cant progress because of this i lack important milestones a person my age would have had by now what is the point of existing when youve stayed in the same spot for  years,3.0
42328,standingstones thanks for the retweet btw have you met my friend officialpeta ,0.0
42329,  if you really want to make money online this works and makes sense  ,0.0
42330, soz gota gohopefully you can help me later  im thinking something happymaybe ill just put random song lyrics together ,0.0
42331,moonfrye can you take pics love both of them but especially em but he wont come to canada ,2.0
42332,some of my new followers are pretty cool tweeps check em out ,0.0
42333,montanaone squinting definitely helps ,0.0
42334,need to sleep gotta get up in   good night everybody,2.0
42335,oh dear horrible thunder and rainreally scary ,2.0
42336,with spadgerina opening her prezzies and playing badminton with rosie and tom tea and birthday chocolate time ,0.0
42337,off to buy some new shoes on oxford st god help me why does southwark station always smell of vomit ,2.0
42338,therescue was a success ,0.0
42339,pronouncedyou sadly my little one is still awake argh  i hope he sleeps on tomorrow,2.0
42340,aceaachen ,2.0
42341,trying to download a game for my phone but no internet access ,2.0
42342,dell to discontinue the mini  noooo  i kinda wanna pick one up now just to have it before its gone gizmodo ,2.0
42343,i dont think i can deal with feeling like this forever im  ive been feeling this way for  yearsat my worst ive planned out suicides cut myself and walked around with fresh hot wounds that i thought i deserved and most pathetically even contemplated hurting othersat my best i managed to show up late to school ive been homeless twice for a total of over  days without a fucking house in those past  yearsim so touch and emotionally starved i see my parents hug my younger siblings and i imagine what it must be like as a kid they kept telling me i was fat and needed to be on a diet i was in  grade my dad basically ignored and pushed me away until i turned  my voice is always croaky from never speaking i spend hours talking in my head just daydreaming and thinking of anyone and anything that isnt mei wish i could tell somebody that i love them if i could do that i might be okexcept i dont mean shit to anyone i havent had a genuine friend since elementary i have never initiated a friendship i dont know how anymore i found out today the one person ive been relying on to cope and vent to doesnt give a single fuck about me why doesnt anybody care about me anymore what the fuck did i even  dowhen this shit first started i was thinking itd be short but now im so lonely i dont know if i can deal with being this alone for the rest of my life its honestly so terrifying to think about every time i do think about it i bring myself to tears and cry until im exhausted welp i cant stand to think about this anymore im gonna take the fattest sleep ever goodfuckingnight ,3.0
42344, miles in the saddle this  days til my century  really sore butt cheeks ,0.0
42345,jessela totally when shes older and hes still that age real cute ,0.0
42346,rt noturmcm me wow im actually starting to feel happy again my depression ,0.0
42347,i cant wait for the daily show tonight ,0.0
42348,environmental day is gone and earth is the only planet with girls ,0.0
42349,rt hannahssyy as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against wanting attention all humans need attention in fact its the lack,2.0
42350,abbiesanjuan boys over flowers   sorry its late ,0.0
42351,even a humdrum campus like michigans seems to don a majestic coat when i lace up my running shoes ,0.0
42352,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
42353,anyone else get the feeling they will be alone forever moved to a new city a year ago didnt know anyone then and still dont all i do is work then go home and dont do shit yet nothing interests me at all i try to think of something that would interest me something i can use to relate to someone and get to know some people but theres nothing there zero passionwhats the point of all this all i do is exist ,3.0
42354,mothwords you are one brave noodle to say that all of my friends whom i told i vaguely enjoyed the movie stopped being my friends ,0.0
42355,adeejayday you quotgt i got excited  ookay those kids are lucky  ,2.0
42356,birdinflight thank you  haha i actually might be going to disneyworldland im trying to get my dad to send me for my birthday,0.0
42357,morning omg its already  i must be very tired ,2.0
42358,this recession sucks ass ,2.0
42359,denvercheetoh it must be a very fulfilling job  it looks like you enjoy it tremendously ,0.0
42360,alexachung love youuuuuuu ,0.0
42361,damn teachers here i hate french coursework  me and mollie are such donkeys casue weve um started already,2.0
42362,listening an interview of gerard way with tasteittvcom amp still drinkin coffee the best thing im about finish my homework ,0.0
42363,imalexevans   hiii alex  woow  i finally can send you a messagewellmessage it doesnt matter    im veeery happy   haha,0.0
42364,just woke up to find that its raining again ,2.0
42365,oscargodson  is highway robbery time to get yourself a wagon perhaps a jetta tdi not so sporty and easy on the mpg ,0.0
42366,hannahnicklin woah you sound quite nifty in the kitchen  im gonna do chili was gonna experiment with recipe but cant be arsed,0.0
42367,i feel like a go through phases one month i can feel really depressed and suicidal the next month im really happy and going to the gym and stuff like thatits really screwing with my job and stuff right now last time i felt confident and happily started a job but now i feel like shit and cant even get out of bed,3.0
42368,is in english with stephanie  exams in two more days n ,2.0
42369,officialrihanna hi rihanna  i was jus wonderin wat ur ur friends and family call u is it rihanna or robin k cya,0.0
42370,dont know what i want to do with my life so im  severe ocd i go to college  days a week changing soon as they want me to start work experience which is something i really dont want to do not because im lazy but because fuck working to put money in a rich mans pocket that leads me onto the next thing if i refuse to work what am i going to do i am also epileptic so i cant drink or drive sadly drinking and driving is the only things my friends like to talk about now how excited they are to learn to drive and how they get really drunk at partys the only thing i want to do is sit in my room and play video games but my ocd can also fuck that up sometimes recently went through a breakup with the most serious relationship ive ever had dont know how to make new friends or how to speak to new people all my friends also have jobs and like to show off about how much money they have i really dont give a shit about money though ive been told before that i have nothing to worry about because things could be worse but what the fuck is that meant to mean if someone loses an arm and you say to them you couldve lost the other arm too so things could be worse it doesnt solve the fucking problem does it im sick of all this,3.0
42371,rt graypiper big depression energy right here ,1.0
42372,lunivore see you at   congrats on kiev gig  heard about it have a good one ,0.0
42373,kiransingh gotta head to blackburn to see client tomorrow wedding on sat in hounslow and probably more work on sun  need holiday,2.0
42374,woah yeah drunk ,0.0
42375,awesome a man who had the same voice as my ex called me on the phone and talked about liverpool football yay sarcasm it made me cry ,2.0
42376,rt kieraplease half the time i dont even be knowing why im sad sadness just be slapping me in the face for no reason,0.0
42377,i have started working on my prom dress  im very happy with it because it looks so good on me xdxdxd,0.0
42378,yet another tao worship thursday ill be missin  amp i get to spend my night reading the boys drunk tweets ciroc la fam hold it down ,2.0
42379,pipessurf there were a few fun waves out there this morning small crowd too definitely worth paddling out ,0.0
42380, yay your finally on twitter  welcome haha,0.0
42381, taylor you are such an inspiration  please please please reply amp say hi  ,0.0
42382,im in a phase my depression comes and goes right now im in a phase where other than going to work i dont want to be doing anything other than sitting on my couch  i dont want to go out to see friends or go out to do things that i normally enjoy  my main hobby knitting i usually do at night in front of the tv and i dont even want to do that  anyone else go through phases  can anyone relate  how do you get through them,3.0
42383,rt   real people on what finally worked for their anxiety by wellaware ,1.0
42384, i would never cheat on you you r my only twitter boo lmao you have  show attention to all of yours so you dont have time  me ,2.0
42385,xslverwingsx oh im sorry claire   but on the other side u shouldve taken a picture of that,2.0
42386,i say o no dese old things sumtinmes i like  b vintage i jus copped durin da sale earlier dis wk  gotta get my  rite,2.0
42387,doing the dishes ,2.0
42388,finally diagnosed been struggling with suicidal thoughts since i was   now and finally told my gp about it got diagnosed with depression and anxiety with ocd tendencies first day on ssris not that it will do anything yet just thought i should share somewhere besides my close friends and family,3.0
42389,keep losing followers  maybe i should make by tweets more interesting not sure how though haha,2.0
42390,  sounds like sonicswhich i never had  and for the record i say spicy bred buffalo wings w blu cheese amp beer,2.0
42391,year old and energized  good times with great friends,0.0
42392,having a nice relaxing day doing work for my mum again atm i like it believe it or not and listening to my ipod ,0.0
42393,as a psych major im frustrated at the stigma against getting a bachelors in psych and not being being to find a jo httpstcoxgzpjalfed,2.0
42394,maybe shell bring me something backshe sent me picture and said she wish i was here to enjoy the fun in the sun w her    msbar ,0.0
42395,am i just sadtired or is there something actually wrong ive made this post a few  on other subs but i never get any replies worth another try i guessbasically im  and ive noticed that im tired all the time now i cant concentrate on anything in lessons and when i wake up in the morning for school it feels as if theres a heavy weight on my chest this weight feels anxious and low and tired it makes it extremely difficult to actually get up and get ready so im always late and often i say im ill just because i dont want to get out of bed not because im tired but because im extremely anxious and unhappy in the morning before school i also feel pretty low at night and the last week or so ive been taking longer to get to sleep i overthink at night bcos im left alone with my thoughts and i think about depressing shit my brain is constantly just arguing with itself on whether im just being a pussy or whether somethings wrong i like going out with friends and to parties its fun when i do but i struggle to bring myself to do it i feel anxious in certain social situations like just talking to people who arent my friends i like getting high or drunk at parties and shit just bcos i dont think as much and its extremely peaceful i feel like time is speeding up suddenly uncontrollably and drastically and im getting overwhelmed and exhausted its as if i feel trapped by my own brain and my own brain just pisses me off with the way it thinks all the time and i need to switch it off for some peace the weird thing is that i dont even know if what im saying is true half my brains telling me im just making it up and nothings wrong and im just tired and shit but i also feel like there could be something dodgy my brain is just arguing with itself and i dont know whether im lying to myself which i know makes no sense but ye if you read this far thank you i doubt anyone will have as its a long post so if you have i appreciate that,3.0
42396,heres a probably way too drawn out exposé on how ive been feeling for the past year and a half idk if this is a common thing anyone else here feels but its something ive felt all my teenyoungadult life and has only gotten worse as ive entered collegefor the most part i dont act depressed in public i joke i laugh i contribute to the various social circles i am sort of a part of but at the end of the day im left with the gutting realization that i dont really matter to anyone people enjoy my company when its easy and convenient but will ultimately  go to their other closer friend groups that i am decidedly not a part of but then i dont have a group of my own to go to i just retreat into my own loneliness and its fucking painful i spend most of my time wondering why im not accepted by these people and no matter how much i tell myself i dont need it it doesnt work its in those hours that i wonder if anyone would really care if i drove into the ocean  sure i might get a few tears but at the end of the day they would have the people they really care about to fall back on right i just cant help feeling confused if im so nice and funny and one of the best people you know why do you never include me why do you treat me like i dont exist for example its my friends birthday today and all of my friends had a party for her literally in the apartment building next to mine and i didnt even know it was happening until i saw on social media theres such dissonance between whats real and what people tell me about myself and it fills me to the brim with anxiety and just destroys any scraps of confidence and motivation i might be able to muster im so close to giving up and im honestly convinced no one would care if i didanyways i dont even know if im making sense at this point i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff all my friends either dont understand or dont care my mom bless her heart just wants to fix it but she cant and it just makes it hurt more that im putting her through the pain i guess i decided to post here because it would be an outlet for me to share my thoughts in anonymity writing it out kinda makes my problems sound stupid and petty which they probably are but hey at least i wrote them out thats a positive step right,3.0
42397,lariitran anyway ill talk to you later i am off to watch neighbours ,0.0
42398,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
42399,discovered some mariasama ni wa naisho gag clips xd cant tell where i found em but theyll be in the package soon ,0.0
42400,amandaashley oh i know  im about to message him and ask who should do it,2.0
42401,raynecleoud bad day at work ,2.0
42402,stephneri okay sorry   my home internet hates me  ten days yay,2.0
42403,paigethedin im glad it made you chortle ,0.0
42404,crystalbutterfl im experiencing that right now as a matter of fact ,0.0
42405,lets take care of our planet our children will be greatfull  ,0.0
42406,night at the crown lets go ,0.0
42407,rt vinterine wtf is this me when i blast sad music in my earphones and cry while i wash the dishes and clean the house ,2.0
42408,unhealthy coping well i no longer and never really have coped with my depression too well i am ashamed of this today around mid afternoon i was drunk in school laying on the floor with my friend fucking babysitting me for fucksake i cant remember half the shit i said i do know i hit an all time low but if you want me to be honest i dont care im on lithium and other anti depressants which can be very dangerous to mix with alcohol it doesnt phase me at this point ive been dealing with mental illness for far too long that screwing my life up at  years old was bound to happen thanks for listening just need to rant,3.0
42409,stock market crash great depression and murder yet it has heartwarming end beyondthecarousel ,1.0
42410, we dropped the world is flat ,2.0
42411,nerearoldan i wanna kiss u and hug u once again ,2.0
42412,laying out by my grandparents pool until i have work ,0.0
42413,our kitty sakura got out cant find her its all my fault dont know how im going to live with myself i want her home so bad ,2.0
42414,midlong term side effects of quitting effexor hey alli was taking effexor  for around a year and a half highest dosage was  before slowly tapering down and eventually quitting altogetheri went through all the hells that are associated with that  the zaps the instability etcive been without it for around two months now and im experiencing unpredictablemood constant low energy varying sex drive etci havent been able to find much online about withdrawal outside of the first couple weeks  im curious if this is common or if im just back at square one and should seek alternative treatmentsthank you,3.0
42415,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
42416,do i save to see james morrison in cardiff or taylor swift in london i cant decide ,2.0
42417,sunbathing and listening to kelly clarksons cd ,0.0
42418,jazzybam hahahahaha theyve gone now ,2.0
42419,blackoutsbox of course they still register your number in ireland but dont support tweets ,2.0
42420,shannonlovesth but old enough for tomi to still have his dreads ,2.0
42421,anyone else suffer from an obscure physical condition especially one that is    labelless  invisible  chronic  unrelatable    how has it affected you,3.0
42422,we love you taehyung btstwt ♥️ everything will be okay dont be sad 😭,0.0
42423,laraoz not goodwhat are you gunna do ,2.0
42424,finally done for today more work once i get home  urgh,2.0
42425,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
42426,aww i love tropic thunder ,0.0
42427,charlievdw you know kris donnelly jealous is he nice ,0.0
42428,rt nothingnowhere our tour is cancelled ive been battling severe anxiety and depressionand decided the best option is to leave for a,2.0
42429,coming to terms with a  full flight and a middle seat ,2.0
42430,karlonsea lol  just hope theyre keeping theyre powder dry for the asheslulling aus into false confidence,0.0
42431,coleenskeabeck elderly effects of being  lol im staying  forever dont want the elderly effect of  ,2.0
42432,not enjoying being at work cause she cant watch the result show of sytycd ,2.0
42433,tareshmonchel mags are doing badly now  but gooood for you soon maybe we should speak send ur info dm me,2.0
42434,anyone know any testers who need a job  i need to hire people for my team ,0.0
42435, no they dont ,2.0
42436,headed to bar review classi missed yesterday so i got some catching up to do ,2.0
42437,changesgoing to try and make things better ,2.0
42438,is relaxed ,0.0
42439,what songs do yall listen to when you feel down ive been crushing on a girl whom ive known for a long time she told me that the feeling was mutual but that was years ago we couldnt make it a success and weve grown apart since then there was always some part of me that was hung up on her we talked recently on valentines day and that revived something inside me i felt happy for once just went through her instagram story minutes ago of her with another guy i feel crushed it feels like my heart will collapse into itself i need some music to deal with this any recommendations are appreciated,3.0
42440,dee is sweaty palms playing my ds i laaahs it ,0.0
42441,fun fun fun i bought my supply of pringles skittles amp starbursts ,0.0
42442,just came out of the stoodzbin doin a lot o thingsworkin real hardshould pay off  aint got time for anythin else atm jus me n music,0.0
42443,oooh i have followers with an s i better think of something to write quick ,0.0
42444,catching up on my house episodes  in orlando fl,0.0
42445,tedlieu iamrobineublind yeah  but they voted trump to take away my health insurance  so f them and their blac httpstcohhtwgqpizl,0.0
42446,omgthisistina same  i wanna sleep my mom gave me  that i will not spend,2.0
42447,jkldesign saw it on recommendation  from an old italian photographer didnt like it at all ,2.0
42448,decay these feelings are eating me from the insideim too much scared to talk about this with my friends ill lose them like i have lost others before but it feels like my emotions are bubbling up but cant quite reach the surface all it does is make me feel terrible the feelings make me hate myself and i dont know how im supposed to keep living with them eating me up like thisi can cry but i hate embarrassing myself like that so i try to hold it back as much as possible try as i will i know im going to break down in front of them and i can hardly bare that thought i just want that feeling inside of me that sinking feeling that feeling responsible for all those panic attacks the brutal anxiety im so sick of iti used to always assure myself that it would fade eventually that youd grow out of it but  years now and its only gotten worsewill it ever stop,3.0
42449, ranggrol yum on the couscous amp tzatziki of earlier  play noa amp mira from eurovision and youll a me peace feast ,0.0
42450, awww not about justice hardie boys  a good read though,2.0
42451,its cold ,2.0
42452,drowning in anxiety because i just applied to my dream apartment if i dont get it im gonna scream and cry 😭😭😭😭😭😭,1.0
42453,ricraftis  cant imagine only  minutes a day on twitter  guess were not average eitherwere like you  ,0.0
42454,wakeangl terranceb you guys are talking about the avatar marketplace right ,0.0
42455,just had lunch back to revision ,2.0
42456,no one loves pika thats why we were all sad when he came back from san fran ,2.0
42457,torilovesbradie no probs and yeah im still sick no school today  lol feel really crap but thats because im dancing lol  thanks ,0.0
42458,finally done unpacking then packing amp cleaning im actually goin to miss the apartment  strange feeling,2.0
42459,ruthylovesnkotb thats so good to hear i love hearing stories like that ,0.0
42460,good night everyone ,0.0
42461,me me me sad but true httpstcoppskymdtqy,2.0
42462,curiosityshop hey why you havent followed me back kafey  ,2.0
42463,amandafortier awwwwwwwww that sucks ,2.0
42464,hey keep looking at myself thinking this is all gonna change in a few hours what i say how i think why i do things the way i do  x,2.0
42465,im not even a shy person but my social anxiety makes me act so awkward 😅🤦🏻‍♀️,1.0
42466,el topic de hoy design patterns  ,0.0
42467,its just a game if your character is hungry you feed it if its low on hp you take a nap if its low on charisma you make it socialise or groom itself  this is how ive decided to cope with things trying to find meaning in something as inherently meaningless as life will drive you to suicide andor insanity so just think of it as a game one with really good graphics keep playing for as long as possible till you make it to the next level and the next level after that you can pause if you need to but dont quit and when your character finally dies maybe you can be proud of your high score,3.0
42468,crissangel levitate this ,0.0
42469,chantelleaustin cool join for free to start that way ur workout ur about to do u can log into wowy and maybe win  ,0.0
42470,uponthousands   ,2.0
42471,iamdiddy yes we can ,0.0
42472,comradeveidt sharks dont handle stress well it wont make it,1.0
42473,lydiahhdavies is there another revision session with zoe  before the exam all her past ones have clashed ,2.0
42474,shalg  aaah kam like a fan incarnatedso kinda like a mutant till date ghalib has never yet left my questions unanswered ,0.0
42475,you know when youve grown up  hula hoops dont fit on your fingers anymore ,2.0
42476,chyeahitsalicia the bookstore i intervired for four months ago man i feel like im going back to the past  save meeee,2.0
42477,im completely a pieces of lonely trash i know i posted before but ive fucking hate my life cus im an alcoholic and made one hell of a bad choice that choice was making porn for other people and i really drained my life right there and the only reason that i could think of making porn was because i always get called a faggot or a beaner even i insult myself cus im used to it to which i just said fuck it and just make porn to at least feel a little happy but now it just made my life worst cus im already having other guys either  telling me to send them dick pics and  jack off with them on cam and i feel like i cant do anything about it cus everything is gonna go back to the way it was and probably might get them to expose me more than i already did,3.0
42478, in footy tipping but so did a lot of others probably means ill have to share the jackpot at work ,2.0
42479,undergrad degree show today  one of my favourite work days of the year  i am so very proud of the sussex  ba mpt finalists ,0.0
42480,dfizzy aww  that sucks,2.0
42481,thinks it is time for bed man the sun is coming up and i can hear people already leaving for work goodnight twitter bugs ,0.0
42482,laryannn i third that  but first you have to come up here again in order for that to happen,0.0
42483,its about this time that i start to really miss the football season ,2.0
42484,hints or straightforward so ive been thinking about telling my friend who also suffered from about whats been going on with me but im to embarrassed to tell her straight up is there any way i can be subtle about it and then go straight into the topic because i dont feel that i have the courage to say i have depression is there ways i can be subtle about it  ps ive been thinking of telling her for weeks but when im about to do it i feel ashamed and dont bring it up,3.0
42485,says  sorry tlga i dont mean it ,2.0
42486,emeraldjaguar it will be thursday here hump day tomorrow will give it a crack  meetings all day so might be late ,0.0
42487,mini trainofthought rant i hate how stupid i am and how obvious it is to everyone around me especially my girlfriend whose main reason for being with me was because she thought i was smart now she knows im not and interacts with my vastly more intelligent friends everyday she must be so disappointed i fucking hate myself for that i wish i was ok at anything i wish someone would stab me i wish i could fucking think for a fucking second and that i wasnt such a stupid fucking piece of shit why am i the fucking worst i shouldnt be here im not right i fucking swear it  stupid fucking idiot everyone knows it just fuck off please just fuck off why am i me when i could be fucking anyone anyone else would be better stupid moron,3.0
42488,im at an all time low and im afraid for the past month ive been in a real downward spiral i have no job my living situation is coming to an end i had to sell my car for rent money relationships with friends and family are becoming non existent because i have no will motivation or desire to fix things i know its all on me but knowing that also makes me feel worse im basically at an all time low in my life and about a week ago i was asked to bring my brother his gun to his work because he needed it well it started out in my trunk for safe keeping but then it ended up in the passenger seat and i was on the side of the road crying and contemplating on just ending it there i didnt obv but only because i knew it would just inconvenience everyone since then the thought of killing myself is mostly gone but i still have that small voice in the back of my head i cant afford to see anyone professional and i dont know who to turn to to get help so im here have any of you ever felt so low and then picked yourself up and are now in a much better place if so how did you do it any tips or advice would greatly be appreciated ,3.0
42489,my throat hurts  and that movie was completely demented i think im gonna puke,2.0
42490,kelliisconfused awww  she couldnt even c it o,2.0
42491, english isnt my main language but i almost speakwrite it fluently just fyinot sure if this is where to post this but here we goyesterday i met a girl she was nice and cute ive seen her before but didnt know her at all only seen her so yesterday we were going to film something we were a bunch of people also people i know there which made it kinda awkward afterwards well we get kinda flirty and in the bus home to my city where most of us live shes not included we held hands it was nice nothing to blame but heres the problem she now thinks im her boyfriend keep in mind ive known her about  hours or so i dont know what to do she keeps messaging me and i dont really want to be her boyfriend as it is going fast af one of my friends knows her and says she has a flirt and a boyfriend alreadywhat should i do should i tell her that i knows she has a flirt and boyfriend already should i tell her that i think she is cute and all but it is going too fasti dont know please help,3.0
42492,rt healthylivingo how to make lavender lemonade to get rid of headaches amp anxiety httpstcoinofaraqpd,1.0
42493,sighhh only a matter of time until u infect this site too ,2.0
42494,rt thegreatisnate pay attention to extra credit shady people career opportunities your physical and mental health and free foo ,1.0
42495,rt dodo cletus the rescue dog has anxiety and so many health issues — but his new parents know exactly how to calm him down httpstco,1.0
42496,recap of elinor lipman this is my  jewishdc post  httptinyurlcomryxbto,0.0
42497,im literally worthless and am better off gone  years ago next month i tried to save my mom from dying tonight is hitting me super hard i dont want to live anymore my family is constantly telling me times passed move on but i held her dying  in my arms i cant and dont think ill ever be able to get over that tonight i just wanna die  my dad dont work and im pressured to get a job i dont want instead of something i want to do im a pro at computers and im not bragging like its my life its what i want to do but to my dad who is jobless i need to become a janitor and help out im lost in life,3.0
42498,dont foget sweetwater gearfest starts friday wish i was going ,2.0
42499, hey  please mention me on the show l,0.0
42500,michelletripp oh darn  but youll be around no techkaraoke on wednesday with brett and the rest yes,2.0
42501,go go go mexico i hope they win what a shame it would be to lose to those mean ppl  they treated them like crap how rude,2.0
42502,traviesaina nice i wanna go to walmarti have a sudden urge for a sandwhichand we have no bread ,2.0
42503,why do i feel like this everyday i dont know if its depression i dont feel sad i just feel alone i feel like completely nothing no happiness in life no motivation to do anything i just feel empty i dont know how to explain this but i just dont feel good i feel like nobody will ever live me i cant sleep i always feel tired i dont know maybe im just tired of living,3.0
42504,someone ordering girls gone wild videos on my card  glad they gave me all my money back now to wait for my new card ,2.0
42505,crystalthediva mmm yur brkfast sounds alot tastier then mine   im havin a latte amp cold cereal  nt a gd combo hot amp cold lol,2.0
42506,what a mess   not happy,2.0
42507,fireworks canceled ,2.0
42508,chancerhall sounds like crippling depression to me,1.0
42509,my day was typically boring today  bad weather gets me down,2.0
42510,mother in law is trying to compare my depression and other mental health issues to her postpartum depression  years ago not sure how to take that i kinda felt like she was brushing my issues off like they are no big dealbut i also feel like she was just trying to get me to talk,3.0
42511,life is so fucking unfair i just want to said it why bad things happen to good peoplea friend of mine was robbed while we were celebrating my birthday at a pub the thief just went up stairs and took my friends backpack inside of it was a very expensive and important part of his degree projectim feeling so guilty it wouldnt have happened if i was more cautious,3.0
42512,two poems i wrote and maybe it could help you i dont usually post on here but i was looking through my notes and i used to write poems about my then girlfriend now ex these are two poems that i wrote i honestly think expression through art or words or just venting in things like this subreddit really help or atleast they have in my experience they really got me through some bad periods currently going through a bit of a shit phase now so im sure ill be back at the writing i know the poems are cheesy so please dont rip into me but just wanted to leave them somewherei think she caresi think i can trust heri think shes the one for mei wish she was with me in bedright here so i could hold her just knowing that theres someonewho careswho knows,3.0
42513,gusto ko sanang makita yung mga college friends ko ulit for some reason kasi nakakabawas sila ng stress kasi alam ,0.0
42514,aliceteh  i hope youre able to catch up on your books reviews today but have plenty rest up ,0.0
42515,watching the new episode of jonas ,0.0
42516,ducks sure are lucky ,0.0
42517,i love gene simmons family jewels another season starts next sunday ,0.0
42518,how can i tell my friend that hes terrible at comforting people  dont get me wrong i love my bro to death and he rarely treated me poorly but when he tries to comfort me he just pushes me down deeper into my depression not in a bad intention i believe i feel like hes just grounding me and yelling at me like a military sergeant telling me to get my shit together and be a man sometimes he even makes fun of my alcoholism to try to trigger something in my head to change and just stop being depressedhow can i tell him politely to shut the hell up im sick of thanking him for what he believes is emotional support when really he just made me cry,3.0
42519,is disappointed  gabs baby legs has still not yet been delivered hay  ,2.0
42520,woke up today at  i feel so hungry now  i didnt eat lunch yet,2.0
42521,got eaten by mosquitos tonight ,2.0
42522,first time doing anything remotely complicated with javacc  so far so good  other than my parser not working ,0.0
42523,i thought the worst was over but i was wrong disappointed in our world i have been depressed for  years with breaks in between   years ago i went through hell got kicked out of uni because of my depression and came out of an abusive relationship  i was ashamed of my sickness and brought it up too late got in  trouble the university decided to kick me out i could have won against them if i went to court but i had no more energy and money to give them i wanted to move on and forget  i moved started a new major got some credits recognized and less than a year later i was very depressed again i talked to university and felt they were more supportive than the last but it still wasnt easy and i kept feeling worse  last november a friend committed suicide and that really dragged me down to a very dark place i managed to get accepted for a scholarship interview since i am quite involved in extracurricular activities and most of my grades are good the application was hell because some professors refused help and i was already in a bad place so i felt alone and like no one believed in me   finally  profs agreed to help me and i felt like someone was supporting me in my path  the application process required a lot of tears and energy i had to reflect on my past and my failures which still hunt me my therapist was very busy with me during that time as i felt suicidal but in the end i was proud i managed to finish it regardless of the depression and constant panic attacks  something unexpected happened they invited me to an interview  hours away from my home i accepted prepared investing lots of fear and energy into the process i felt it went well and was hopeful the horrible dark period would end but i was wrong  they dont want me other amazing people were not taken while some difficult cases got in girl i saw stealing from supermarket but overall the majority got in  im obviously extremely frustrated i hoped this would be a step into brighter times i hoped it would mean change but now i feel very very down i feel like society has no place for people like me even though im smart critical and contribute to society i feel like its all pointless because society is sick and they dont deserve my help if they cant see my value i have been let down so many times while complete assholes are getting free rides i live in europe my parents pay lots of taxes for the free riders there is no justice there is no reward   some are condemned to a life of suffering and there is no escape  right now i just want to watch the world burn  my country had a rise in coronavirus cases and im hoping for things to collapse politicians are talking about pandemic plans and closing down infrastructure   i feel like we dont deserve better,3.0
42524,showersmokeno time for razzle dazzle ,2.0
42525,kkksizzle hmm but you cant view my blog weird ill try again or maybe check your spam ,0.0
42526,what do you all think of my poem i wrote this while dealing with chronic mental illnesses and the breakup of my ltr sorry in advance for the edginess i apologize also if its terrible but would really appreciate constructive feedbacktired of runningwaking up every day the same body but different braini creep through life in a dreamlike haze barely shaken by professors disapproving gazefriends all ask whats wrong but i dont know and ive felt this way for far too longnothings constant yet i cant change one moment i want your pity but the next i feel rageto live in my mind for just one day takes more focus and perseverance then i care to sayyou try to help but i hurt you still a void in my soul no one can ever fillmy lifes an uphill race im running alone a haunting lesson ive always knowni say im alright but its not enough because one day my illness will call my bluffday by day i grow more weary because just being happy is much easier in theoryno matter the pill the effects the same no change no progress i only feel shamethe chaos in my mind will always be mine but in the race im running i fear im almost out of time,3.0
42527,ssincerely lol ,0.0
42528,ok im out nite nite tweets let the blessings above fall upon you as you dream sweet dreams  ,0.0
42529,how can you identify your friends as person who suffers from depression and anxiety i cant really tell who i considered to be friends as a high school senior i have met many people throughout my four years in high school many with different personalities and traits even share some conversations with one another however people can acknowledge that i am a depressed person ive always been the humble student or according to one of my school organization instructors the most quietest person in the program imjust afraid of how people view me do they think i can be a negative person in their life that has to be pushed away making friends is a problem for me i cant really tell if a person enjoy being around me even with classmates i cant tell if they considered me as a friend or as a peer im trying to identify those who are my friends before i graduate before we all lose contact with one another when moving on to the next step in our life the idea of not being able to see someone ever again is just hurtful i want to cherish the time before graduation and hopefully   stay in contact beyond the years after high school ,3.0
42530,hey  tavadooooooo    live gt ,2.0
42531,therapy scares the hell out of me i got screened for the first time and talked to an actual counselor at college for the first time since i was forced on one during high school when i was on a suicide watch list i used to think they couldnt truly understand anything and id keep things or not tell the truth i would tell them what they wanted to hear but should i open up even tho im scared of what a trained person might say love yall have a good one ,3.0
42532,depression and anger my depression was finally away then out of the blue  weeks now i lost my job over no reason no explanation i started to drink slip up in my final weeks of college i destroyed my laptop my tv started arguing with family and want to pick a fight with anyone i cant seem to control myself when something goes wrong its either destroy shit or destroy myself once school is finished i need work asap and anger manegment and therapy theres more then just a job loss my anger isnt normal and i wanna find out what not having anyone to talk to makes it harder but i guess its myself to find why all my life anger controls me,3.0
42533,msaireal i was jus bout to ask u why u stopped following me  lol why u dont be textin me back no love for brandon no more smh,2.0
42534,sethsimonds i wouldnt know your  reasons or would i ,0.0
42535,its been a very bad day and its only  am ,2.0
42536,nabejero marabg though this may not be the correct course of action for most there are some pl who are hard to please ,0.0
42537,going swimsuit shoppinggggg ,0.0
42538,frak i cant see yr twitpic post a link pls im using my mobile and am kinda limited ,2.0
42539,hilarity i am not shocked  and thank you   i think it was the recording i got from you that my computer ate  mean computer,0.0
42540,time for bed now i think looking forward to my long lie tomorrow then spending the day with  ,0.0
42541,rt olivebrinker hey just a heads up when i say dont say this one specific thing to me saying the thing is literally never funny i h,0.0
42542,barrliz thats what easy says honestly because its easier to do one color i dont have lots of awesome punk rock friends anymore ,2.0
42543,idk so much pain i am up at  am and having selfharm urges i dont know how this happened how things went down like this i just want the pain to end i want something to take away the pain maybe cutting myself will do that i just dk i am so  lost hurting so much i want the pain to end i am hurting more than anyone can know i feel like i might cut myself see the blood come out see the pain lessen i think that might help i need help and i am so lost,3.0
42544,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,2.0
42545,paultheplumber glad to hear you ok  yes it is very warm and we might as well make the most of it ,0.0
42546,its about to hit me very hard im kind of numb right now but i just found out that i was terminated from my job while on medical leave shortly before the medical leave i filed an ethics investigation for wrongdoing by a team lead on account of his grudgeholding sexism etc i had  witnesses who were willing to speak on my behalf none of them were interviewed instead only those who would provide favorable interviews were spoken with i felt completely betrayed by the system my management and my peers i sunk into a deep depression where i could barely move for weeks it was horrible unfortunately my doctor was late in providing paperwork to the leave center for my absence my case was denied automatically and i guess at that point they started filling out the paperwork for my termination i just want to die i dont know if i can do this anymore,3.0
42547,wbpodcast hey right here man ill take one  ,0.0
42548,jamdear my mother is helping me pay for it ,0.0
42549,dont ya just hate waking up with a headache ,2.0
42550,good morning the show last night was amazingly fun had some serendipitous moments as karenknowler would put itahhhh ,0.0
42551,   i knew you had to be sweet  you are   you know how i look like haha the chris sign pic ,0.0
42552,leighcambre iam so sad my boobs miss you ,2.0
42553,man people assume browser window sizes are bigger now squarespace your login window requires scrolling to view  squarespace trackle,2.0
42554,get together at  must clean dad is gonna help me with my new gazebo and there are flowers to plant but first my rainjacket ,2.0
42555,just got home this has been a very very long day if fact i was barely home all weekend ,0.0
42556, i woke up this morning to see nikki officially released a statement that her amp john have officially ended for goo ,0.0
42557,dondy ha drugs sure it helps but i still feel like crawling into bed and not getting out working at home gives me that temptation ,2.0
42558,just letting some out because everythings hitting hard right now yesterday i found out two of my brothers dogs ran away and i had already been falling apart inside and that jusy added up its been  hours and we still cant find them now its tearing me up worse because its snowing and below freezing and worring about them is causing anxiety attacks and it to litteraly feel like the world is crashing down i spent  hours looking for them before i was so exhausted i couldnt keep walking i went home and slept them went back out at midnight driving around looking for them just having it really hard right now and idk putting it into words helps me think rationally about the sitiation i guess,3.0
42559,my social anxiety talking to me before i order food,2.0
42560,  retxt me  my phone crashed before i could read it ,2.0
42561,this is actually really fucking sad wow how can people be so mean,1.0
42562,performance anxiety  how to deal with it  ,2.0
42563,adlyman thanks you too ,0.0
42564,i dont know how to add people using my phone ,2.0
42565,i must be dumbi dont even know what it is ,0.0
42566,soooo tired but i dont want to sleep ,2.0
42567,i need a new phone ,2.0
42568,southaussie half life  or cs ftw ,0.0
42569,oh man youtubes down ,2.0
42570,though the increase is not lifethreatening such changes can be associated with feelings of anxiety,1.0
42571, i dont get to see it till tonight  stupid aussie tv,2.0
42572,jackyds me too ,2.0
42573,aye cleaning and dancing to any song dancable that my playlist plays oh yes partying while i clean and my lil man sleeps ,0.0
42574, i know lol not much at all  lol you x,2.0
42575,hannahs here lazy times and waterfights in my garden have been hadwe made the greatest smoothie ever as well ,0.0
42576, most visually appealing free wordpress themes and none of them can be seen on wpcom  httpisgdpfbr ,2.0
42577,why hello mr pixonu ,0.0
42578,i literally have anxiety attacks going up the stares sometimes cuz i feel like im not going up fast enough and i h httpstcojdqkjlugtr,1.0
42579,growing up is so hard for some people its such a big thing its your foundation youre becoming you ,1.0
42580,missing my baby girl  lakers da next champs,2.0
42581,davidarchie hi david i dont know if youv heard but adam cook passed away yesterday ,2.0
42582,dude i totally forgot how crazy jampacked dh is i want to stay up reading all night but alas back to work tomorrow ,2.0
42583,how did you start seeking treatmentyour experiences with depression treatment gtthis turned into long streamofconsciousness word vomit the only important tldr is the title you can skip the walls of text just want to hear other peoples especially young womens experiences with medical intervention for mental health and what to expect gti dont mean to break the subs rules by asking to be prescribed anything i just want to hear other peoples stories on mobile so if formatting is fucked on pc sorry i doubt this will be seen by anyone anyway i think i just want to scream into the void anyway the first time i realized my mental health was an issue was at  because my math teacher was so concerned he called my parents that was almost  years ago through that time ive had one suicide attempt  years ago a lot of self harm  years clean an eating disorder  years mostly healthy terrible anxiety and chronic insomnia eventually i just learned to deal with it some days are worse some are better mostly my depression is just a numbness but since graduating college its been really severe i cant stop crying i cant get out of bed i dont leave the house unless its to go to work which is only like once a week because a lot of my stuff is online work which i havent been doing my room is a mess i can barely force myself to eat or shower im constantly shaking and i so so badly want to hurt myself i havent self harmed in years okay i scratch myself sometimes on purpose because i keep my nails really long i havent cut but god do i want to i feel like im having a several day long anxiety attack i dont know what to do but i think i need to get help im just terrified of this and dont know where to start im pathetic and terrified of phone calls after freaking out crying and procrastinating all day i finally called my health insurances mental health advice line they just told me to call a local clinic on monday morning but i dont know if i can i dont know what to say what do i ask for a psychiatrist a therapist please advise i know this sub is not for prescribing treatment but id like to hear how other people went about this i am worse than ive ever been im stuck between not knowing how much longer i can wait because its so bad versus my debilitating inability to make the phone call and actually start treatment i briefly considered going to the er but i dont want to be dramatic im not actively suicidal i just hate myself being alive feel like im vibrating out of my skin and really want to hurt myself in a way no one would see because i dont want to worry any of my friends i know i wont hurt myself maybe some light self harm but nothing major so i dont think i should go to the er and waste some nurses time or get d i pretty much quit instagram because its exhausting trying to keep up the facade that im pretty or popular or do fun things i dont drink much or do drugs anymore only used to smoke weed was depressed before smoking and after quitting i pretty much cut everyone out of my life because i just cant maintain relationships idk if anyone is going to read this and offer advice but ill say this right now im not going to cut my nails short to stop scratching myself my nails are one of the only things i like about myself lmfaoooo i just want to hear stories about what steps other people have done to get help who did you call what happened to you therapy medication did it stifle creativity one of my sources of income is that im an artist on one hand im too depressed to make any art these days but on the other hand what if medication takes away my creativity any young women able to share their experiences did people take you seriously or dismiss it as being dramatichormones its never been this bad before i dont know what to do i dont want to do anything but the logical part of me knows that if i dont do something now worse things will happen,3.0
42584,silbena eb games at the square  thanks,0.0
42585,do you ever really heal from depression hey alli used to be depressed and was stuck in such a horrible place a lot of that stemmed from an abusive marriage im a guy but was a victim of abuse and couldnt tell anyone at the time when she had an affair and it ended the only person who believed and understood was my mother shes my rock and i owe her so muchanyway over the past  years since ive moved towns jobs ended toxic friendships etc im engaged to a wonderful and supportive woman we have a dog that i love more than anything ive always wanted my own dog  my fiancee is actually allergic but weve been able to make it happenwork a job im good at etc things should be greatbut i still struggle with my mood im on the way to work but a wave of anxiety and hopelessness has hit me again but i love where i work and wouldnt want to be anywhere else some days even though things are great in my life i just cant feel anything other than low moods how can i finally leave the past behind me and actually enjoy life and feel happy,3.0
42586,i dont know if im depressed or its something else i started high school last year and on my second week had a panic attack which led to me eventually getting help and counseling with meds but i dropped it because it was to expensive then later on had it worse and got therapy from my school foundation but dropped that too because i seemed to be not improving at all then my parents said it cost and i was doing betterbut this year it started off great then my grandma died from another country so i had to go to her funeral i missed school and things got pushed back i tried with the work but lost focus on my late work then more and more my class kept on feeling harder and harder even when they really were not i started to thing oh just do it later and i can do it but i find time passing more and more with nothing getting done im ashamed of saying to my teachers its me who didnt do the work because i felt like i let so many people down last year i cant do it again so i didnt reach out now its my late  tri and i keep on saying im sick when im not to avoid going to school then when i do i actual get sick and constantly dread it because i was a good student but i cant focus anymore now im just sitting in my room wonder is this just academic pressure or am i developing depression,3.0
42587, very cool youre a braver man than me ,0.0
42588,despairxfactor so this is how it feels to be nocturnal  lol,0.0
42589,nnatty same as me nice to have more thai friends here too  have a good night its raining hard here now,0.0
42590,i got my ears stretched today  im quite excited for my ending result  ,0.0
42591,slowmomargot i havent seen the first home alone   and yes tim curry is amazing,2.0
42592,just joined twitter  trying to figure this out,0.0
42593,i am done with geo it was easy  i mean ive got maybe  wrong but oh wellllll hahaha but im sure not all exams are gonna be this easy,0.0
42594,this is so sad alexa play despacito,2.0
42595,i starting to reminiscent about the good old secondary days  thats probably because i miss my secondary friends i miss them i do,2.0
42596,depressed after a great night i went out last weekend after a long time it was a great night with laughter and in general a good time the next morning though yesterday i woke up and i was depressed i havent eaten since yesterday because i feel this way i think that the reason is because when a woman has a conversation with me i fall in love with her am also socially anxious thats the reason that i went out after a long time but am working on itand i dont really have a lot of friends or true friends and i think that the other reason its because am afraid that my friends wont offer me to go with them again i think i need to see a therapist,3.0
42597,someone threw away my food at work i was already feeling like shit emotionally this morning and was tempted to call in sick we have a semiimportant meeting this afternoon so i rallied when i got in i went to grab my breakfast item from the fridge and it was gone three items i put in the fridge yesterday were gone im so annoyed right now i didnt want to come to this place already and now my damn food is gone i checked the trash and didnt see it in there they must have thrown it out yesterday the food was not expired and wasnt stinking they left one item that was in a tubberware container and before anyone asks we dont have a schedule or policy on when the fridge is cleaned people just do it randomly without telling anyone the last time that happened someone threw out my apples in april she profusely apologized and offered to buy more i just sent a message to our online message board asking people to notify people before throwing out food,3.0
42598,shimmycocopuffs lol  we do believe in him xd,0.0
42599,ldferguson i know very little support for anyone selfemployed ,2.0
42600,just found out that well have free coffee and donuts for customers every wednesday starting next week and guess who always opens ,0.0
42601,i just want to run away from everyone and everything im terrified of the future but im also living in constant regret i dont know what it is about me but at the end of it all i feel no motivation to do anything im failing my classes im always late to work im eating like shit and gaining weight and yet i dont care i dont want to do anything but stay in my bubble all day and do nothing my therapist says that my emotions come in cycles and i just have to bear with them until i get over it but its so frustrating because it is the same cycle of emotions over and over again which is literally just me switching from regret of stupid things that ive done in my past and fear of stupid things ill do in my future i also panic a lot too i always feel like im going to fuck up and as a result of my fear i end up doing nothing and fucking up either way i sometimes feel like id rather be where i am currently in this state of no motivation and this feeling of emptiness than being constantly scared and jumpy then i realize that me being a depressing wreck doesnt only affect me it affects the people close to me i begin to distance myself from friends and family its to the point that my friends make plans without me because they know i wont pull through for one reason or another but in reality i dont see the point in hanging out with them i dont feel like going out with them and in doing so i begin to reflect on all the times i have bailed on my friends after promising id be there and all the times ive given them false hope and all the times that they gave me a second chance ive had a friend call me toxic because i would promise to be there for him and i never was i do that a lot too i make people feel important and then i get so lost in my depression or whatever it is that im feeling at the moment that i forget about them its a constant battle of me trying to be there for people and then me fucking up at the end of it all i just want to run away and forget everything and everyone i know to have a fresh start but then i start thinking no ill fuck that up too ,3.0
42602,rt dianaaadee honestly the best feeling is realizing ur not sad anymore over something u thought u would never get over,1.0
42603,one step away from snapping so im the type of person that suppresses all the bad shit and bad memories and all that shit like ive always been good at pushing bad things out of my mind but at the same time theres always that stress and weight on me that i can physically feel where its like one more thing pops in my head or if something bad happens in my life im gonna snap,3.0
42604,last real week of apush  and a half day wednesday ,0.0
42605,long range forecast not looking good for daughters  bday party on sunday  so much for pools amp sprinklers ,2.0
42606, yeah i know i was attempting to get a little more conversation out of martyk thats all ,0.0
42607,wwoooohhhooooo leaving tomorrow morning wait i still havent finished all my work stupid me  oh well i have a cheesecake date,2.0
42608,passiontea just dont do anything your gonna regret babe  amp if i were you id donate to locks of love at least ,0.0
42609,is disappointed that the spurs lost ,2.0
42610,💔 follow us for more new posts daily love quote sad feels couple her relationshipquotes cute ,0.0
42611,my cymbal cases weigh more than me ,2.0
42612,rt  كلمات مترجمة قلق  anxiety  انقزايتيإزعاج  bother  باذرمراعاة  إهتمام  concern  كونسيرنثقة  confidence,1.0
42613,hanging out in a bugs land ,0.0
42614,amazing concert too bad its another day i didnt meet alex  but pete walked right by me ,2.0
42615,always sad and in pain when i wake upwhen i take a showerwhen im around family or friends when im by myself when i try to sleeprinse and repeat day in and day out always just constantly sad anxious and in so much damn pain i cant take it anymore,3.0
42616, margaritas at chilis instead of studying ,0.0
42617,strangetymes tired as halo how tired is that exactly ,0.0
42618,emilwilbekin its the same out here in philly too rain everywhere  boo,2.0
42619,but theres a bad part in my day my sister will go at her city  ill miss vi,2.0
42620,does anyone know how to upload apps to your ipod touch  mine wont work ,2.0
42621,myinnersexfiend long day ,2.0
42622,rt  waseembadami bhai ny apka question poocha hai 😄 ,1.0
42623, gnite use your song to sing yourself to sleep ,0.0
42624,new years fucking sucks all it is is a reminder that i wasted another year and its another year i shouldnt have survived a reminder that i have absolutely nothing good in the future for me and i should have just offed myself ,3.0
42625,cyberela coming  cookies too,0.0
42626,i cant go out sad im too real to keep surrounding myself around all these fake mfers 💯,2.0
42627,ijustine what kind  i love dogs  please please reply ,2.0
42628,mandyyjirouxx happy half bday lol mandy follow me ,0.0
42629,wow i forgot to update today haha well its a nice day outside might go out with the family later ,0.0
42630,is at library  bzzzzzzzzzz,0.0
42631,is now a psych major woohoo ,0.0
42632,andybarr i was going to but im stuck with it as i seem to have misplaced my remote  its extra bad tonight as well ,2.0
42633, omgswineflu makes you stop using twitter ,2.0
42634,cameroncrazy i saw the pic of the sleepy one my son has a tux he is  yrs old and a brat  not the son the cat,0.0
42635,  hey there mr hitman what a lovely day ,0.0
42636,never has anything new to tell people because theyve already seen it on facebook ,2.0
42637,princessjenn i was shaking when it was over ,2.0
42638,waiting for this to all be over my life has been such a pathetic failure that i dont even know what tf to do anymore im such a fucking ugly cunt that i dont even want to look at myself in the mirror no matter what tf i do it just doesnt help at all i havent had any friends since i left school and i dont even talk to my old ones anymore because i dont think they would ever care about my shitty problems i wish this quarantine never ends because i dont want to ever have to show my ugly face to othersi have like  billion different bloody things going on in my mind that it just drives me crazy every single day my parents dont give a shit about me and i have no one to go to i just wished i was never bornsorry if u read this i just had to get this out of my mind,3.0
42639,a story i havent really told this story on here yet i feel that its necessary so i guess ill startone day we were playing truth or dare i was like  and i had picked truth so she asked me do you know what sex is i tried to impress her by lying and saying yeah so she started by saying show me then i was embarrassed so i quickly told her no but she kept pressuring me until i gave in so she led me to the bathroom and tried to make me take my clothes off and demonstrate what i thought sex was with her i kept refusing until i ended up crying and she just stomped away angrily telling me not to lie to her  now i know this might sound strange but this memory doesnt feel real it feels almost like a dream cause part of me believes she would never do that but of course how else would the memory exist i keep trying to tell myself it was a dream  and its not like shed remember or shed lie about not remembering and id look insane nobody would believe me if i told themi felt like i was going to vomit typing thati feel stranded  in this place there is only despair people searching for their next fix of power drugs sex and manipulation whether they do this consciously or not  its disgusting   this place makes me sick i know to many people who have been sexually abused me my brother when he was   my aunt by her own father  my aunts son  i know too many who have been abused mentally and physically  my mother  my mothers great aunt  my grandmother one of my childhood friends mothers and all everyone says behind the others backs is that its their fault they havent left and nobody even though they know whats happening  the people who sexually assaulted the people i mentioned are still out there  and its hurts to know that so many others have been hurt because of this  i want to help but i feel powerless and no one else is doing anything or even trying there are  different known child molesters just within  blocks of my house i wasnt allowed to leave my block until i was  and now im scared to even leave the house  my mother treats it just as some drama to spread but its more than that people are suffering thats just wv for you,3.0
42640,sweating like a nasty person cute guy behind me just left  i was about to join him on the machine next to him,2.0
42641,dedicated  terra  nelly  hot in here   ♫ ,0.0
42642,i love grease ,0.0
42643,gotta clean up my room and do homework now ,2.0
42644,rt charitysane depression is so much more than just feeling sad rt if you can relate to this by annabroges stopstigma httpstcom,1.0
42645,whole foods said no ,2.0
42646,what jobs do you have ive been on antidepressants for almost  months now and find it a lot easier to do every day tasks now im back in college and i need to find a job soon but every time i think about working somewhere i get anxious and think about how miserable itll be customer service retail etc is all i really have experience to apply for i get pretty sensitive during situations where i deal with angry customers it can ruin my whole day and make me spiral i know i need to just suck it upwhere do you work and does it contribute toinfluence your depression sorry if this is a weird question i wasnt quite sure how to word it,3.0
42647,lisatella because md doesnt have southern rappers  others even redid sweet home alabama into a rap version,0.0
42648,wow i am forver sad,1.0
42649,im such a miserable cunt i had endless opportunities but i blew it all i blew all of it now im just an introverted cunt i cant be in public i cant socialize i cant do anything i try doing the coping mechanisms that were recommended to me but i just give up whats the point in even coping if im gonna die eventually whats the point in working out or studying if im just going to end up killing myself i know this situation is really cliche but im just lost i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
42650,changes in severity of allergy and anxiety symptoms are positively correlated in patients with recurrent httpstcotggagfltih,1.0
42651,nothing better than a couple of games of tetris in between loads of laundry ,0.0
42652,truemira westernunion total customer service fail sad and pathetic when theyre playing with peoples money rep httpstcorixbaxxsej,2.0
42653,omfglmaolassetti was right those bangs did look bad  lmao,2.0
42654,rt  god is bigger than your past your depression your pain your hate your anger your doubt your fear your shame,0.0
42655,has no followers ,2.0
42656,doing wp ,0.0
42657,shontellelayne there is a limit awh i didnt know that  sing to them to persuade them ,2.0
42658,going to bedvery sick aceing and running a fever ,2.0
42659,athena life suck for you too im sorry ,2.0
42660,feeling so sick even quotlittle cupcakesquot and playing the wii isnt helping ,2.0
42661,astrowebgirl i posted a tweet about twitlonger as aid for our friends in iran ,0.0
42662,ummmm im mad i didnt predict this ,2.0
42663,watching the game and getting dressednot feeling too hot ,2.0
42664,bearsuitband saw that yesterday its my old uni and i cant make it  have a good gig,2.0
42665,cant go back to sleep   therush  ,2.0
42666,ok now bk  work i hate studyin ,2.0
42667,rt kerryscan facemasks are so powerfulsad facemaskskin bad facemaskbored facemasktired facemasksleepover facemasksstresse,1.0
42668,i read these all the time i want to vent and post and communicate with people who feel the same as i do but i cant bring myself to type it all out i dont feel like i have the energy too it makes me wonder about all the other people that open this and begin to write and then just give up or think say ill finish it later its,3.0
42669,markbuchholz and affiliate program so i got a lot of stuff on my hands but it will definetly be worth it come launch ,0.0
42670,rascalflatts shoutin out too ya jd looking forward to cmt awards  im routin for you guys ,0.0
42671,okay time to rest up  i have a truckload of mulch to unload in the morning  night all,0.0
42672, about on of the insane things on earth � using linux as desktop os ,0.0
42673,mrsboozer he surprised me  thing this morning so i was prepared i had hope hed gotten thrown out with the trash ,2.0
42674,iamwonderjam hahaha sad,2.0
42675,bye for now have to go do some work bring on lunchtime sunshine park rugby players  ,0.0
42676,follow donotlie hey u neva know what might happen when u follow ,0.0
42677,tylorlmatt  cuz i am a snitch a loser a nerd a geek a dissapointment in life ,2.0
42678,hmmmwhat to do today my last day off work  maybe i will work on sites alittle bit,2.0
42679,mariaandros its nice to c you supporting a good cause  i am very passionate about supporting charitywater  httpbudurlcomgoodcause,0.0
42680,got really bad sunburn todaygonna to try and chill it out  ,0.0
42681,is feeling epically shit time to see a doctor tomorrow ,2.0
42682,rt myfavstrash your mcm has severe anxiety mental and physical exhaustion self worth issues amp depression its me im your mcm,2.0
42683,kgasso im sorry  is that the wife to the gpa that she just lost recently,2.0
42684,when the world said quotgive upquot i heard hope whisper quotjust try it one more timequot  ,0.0
42685,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
42686,cuz its so empty without me ,0.0
42687,wishing i could adopt all the strays laying out in the shade from the heat ,2.0
42688,popculturezoo good to know that the implosions arent too much of a deterrent lol let me know if i can do anything to help out ,0.0
42689,dannymcfly hi harry  yeah i hope he comes back on twitter,0.0
42690,keikoinboston oh no we dont like sad endings,1.0
42691,dantanner youll leave us with that impression and then down a pint of haagen das ,0.0
42692,joethedon follow me ,0.0
42693,sweet success  ,0.0
42694,now officially dreading the five hour drive to the beach without landi ,2.0
42695,im turning to a full time shopaholic now last weeks expenses was  and i just started off e  day of e week with another  ,2.0
42696, def cheese and onion  however after being back in the states for  months finding a bag of saltampvinegarthey tasted great,0.0
42697,ect has anyone tried ect electroconvulsive therapy or shock therapy ive been looking into it as a last resort because i got serotonin syndrome due to my psych meds interacting with my meds for my stomach disorder ive already called my psych office twice about it and they havent called me back its very frustrating because if im considering something as extreme as shock therapy they should know im in a bad place,3.0
42698,ive got a new toy and have joined iphonedom  i love it,0.0
42699,on a beauty farm right now  its my last dayevening very sad  never been such goodlooking like today tomorrow i have to go home ,2.0
42700,hey robluketic i love your live streams your accents nice too   the set of five killers live gt ,0.0
42701,headache of the century coming i can feel it  fuck,2.0
42702,jenbishopsydney no not sultry just fine as it is ,0.0
42703,jhermin but your class starts at  pa diba ,0.0
42704,am in zurich sunny weather but set to change this weekend bummer ,2.0
42705,fuck man i ducking hate my different moods its exhausting and sucks losing all the light you see when feeling elevated and alright someone smack the shit out of me ,3.0
42706,i wish i could stop comparing myself with other my friend for more than  years is graduating soon and right now is on the other side of the world as an exchange student while im here no career not studying no job no goals no will to even be alive i felt hurt im happy for her but im still comparing myself i really wish i had any will to live i just wish i wasnt even born or that a car ran over me tomorrow or somethingi just dont care about living and seeing other just doing the most of their lifes really make me feel even worse funnily enough shes also depressed and suicidal but at least shes doing something i just wanna diesorry i just wanted to get this out of my system,3.0
42707,tonfue lol well you could always post a picture of your den and of items then ask for suggestions ,0.0
42708,before depression vs now this is what i used to look like when i was trying to get fit and be happy then idk what happened anxiety depression and loneliness is what happened ,3.0
42709,nicolaherbert go with wordpress gt wwwwordpresscom i do  httpeepmeuk,0.0
42710,philanthropic diabolic so melodic    ,0.0
42711,its so hard letting her go and seeing her cry ,2.0
42712,so sinisipa na ko ng stress and everything wtf yawqona,2.0
42713,mariyab luckyyy youu omg next tym u send him a msg tell him  i say hi and tell him  come on twitter more  yeah okay goodluck with the,0.0
42714,rt healthgovau anxiety can affect your ability to concentrate sleep amp perform daily tasks for more info visit ,0.0
42715,elliewix i actually have been    i was taking a break,0.0
42716,imnangl   you can youre bodys forcing you to for petes sake  ,0.0
42717,last few hours in la heading down to see kathryn in hermosa before hopping over to lax this afternoon ,2.0
42718,if you arent enjoying the company of someone or seeing them on social media amp the anxiety amp irritation are startin ,2.0
42719,has had a reet good massage today ,0.0
42720,lmchugh nope saturdays game was not good even worse result come on carlton ,2.0
42721,rt jhsmiiehoya just a few hours ago s were dragging bts mental health and what were not gonna do is compare armys to them for sayin,0.0
42722,christiansouth i hope you feel better baby ,2.0
42723,gt im gomna do today   making breakfast  looove the song boom boom pow  black eyed peas ,0.0
42724,twelve years later it still hurts ,2.0
42725,crazycaptainkey yet sounds fun ,0.0
42726,rt ianaiexander me after my second depression nap of the day httpstcojygigeghyg,2.0
42727,carlzilyvich not happening s mira ahi tienes goodhead  eh nada witty to say ,2.0
42728,thanks for the life time suply of rum balls sam love you ,0.0
42729,mrrathbone yeah prank calls are awesome ,0.0
42730,rt gailmackean do you have lived experience of depression  please complete this survey http,2.0
42731,last day of studying this college year ,0.0
42732,rt youngthug i stopped playing video games in the  once i realized that patman couldnt wear jeans it just made me profoundly sad,0.0
42733,i took the advice of so many people to hit the gym cuz it could help against my suicidal thoughts so i did it for the last  months and lost  kg gained muscle i can see my abs and my biceps vein for the first time in my life it was really hard but i managed itand guess what it didnt help at all i still want to die and hold a grudge against this cruel world which made me suffer my entire life i hate my parents so much for giving me birth to this world all life had offering me was getting bullied facing racism living in poor condition being told my teacher that i am a failure and wont come far in life never having a girlfriend past  years and the list goes on you know when people smash you always bad things into your brain you start to lose trust in yourself ,3.0
42734,tommcfly ok thomas i will kill you ok youre bad you dont deserve my love you hate me im tired i send messages everyday baaad ,2.0
42735,samalvarado yea so i hear i want one but then i also have all my girlies hooked up direct thru blackberry msgr  i will miss them,2.0
42736,citalopramcelexa been making me suicidal was just about to overdose on   tablets but chickened out at the last second and flushed them all what should i do long story shortish went to my gp about depression at the start of jan and they put me on sertralinezoloft didnt react very well to the stuff to say the least but stuck it out best i could for  weeks as my gp recommended one of the alarming side effects i experienced was suicidal thoughts and ideation  before starting the meds i wasnt suicidal at all and never had the inclination to self harmanyway the gp then recommended i switch to citalopramcelexa which ive been on for nearly four weeks saying i might fare better on it i held out all the hope i could but unfortunately its been affecting me even worse feel like ive plummeted into even worse depression than i did on the sertraline and started self harming again id never even considered self harming before these meds and feeling even more suicidal saw the gp again last friday but he didnt take me seriously and just prescribed me another  months of the stuff no end in sighttonight things came to a head and i popped all the pills i had about   tablets enough to kill me i hoped and was about to overdose when i couldnt go through with it at the last second dropped the pills into the toilet bowl and flushed i guess my survival instinct kicked in and i reflexively got rid of them that obviously puts me in a bit of a pickle at the moment as now im gonna have to go cold turkey on the pills my mum would be furious if she found out i got rid of all the pills right after being prescribed another two months worth and im sure the doc wouldnt be too happy either ive heard horror stories about going cold turkey on this stuff but at the same time ive had such a horrendous experience on the pills i cant imagine how it could be worse i also dont want to go back on them because im really really scared of the selfharm impulses and suicidal thoughts they induced which i didnt experience at all previouslysorry i just had to get this down because everything is fucked at the moment and im terrified and have no idea what im doing or what to do im completely confused and numb i cant think straight and i dont know how to proceed i feel i cant bear to go back on these pills and am afraid of telling my mum or the doctor i got rid of them but im worried about the effects of going cold turkey at the same time paradoxically im deeply apathetic and dont care about anything and sort of hope the withdrawal kills me what the fuck is wrong with me right now i dont recognize myself at all anymore,3.0
42737,everything fine and cool about using a chromium browser alpha nightly build but it keeps crashing on using the back button ,2.0
42738,lauralxox hey i liked it i subscribed to the channel ,0.0
42739,yeb its raining and i just feel like ,2.0
42740,bunnybizoux i gave up since ages ago this is who i am so ill just keep it this way i miss you me serius   x,2.0
42741,head ache  advil,2.0
42742,anyone else feel like theyre just not cut out for this world ive been thinking about this a bitbasically after high school i went to college to study english to become a teacher but in the second year i realized i hated it and wasnt very good at it so after graduating aftee three years so i started over and went to a trade school to learn programming i loved it for the first two years but for the third i went back to uni and now i hate what im studying again and i can barely keep up with the material the others manage easily but i really dread spending the rest of my life in web development id actually rather diei dont know i wish i was good at something ,3.0
42743,quarter life crisis im about to turn  at the end of this month and im having what can really only be described as a quarterlife crises it genuinely feels like im running out of time to get my life together the feeling hit me really hard today and caused my depression to spike up again i have this sense of urgency all of the sudden and it feels like if i dont get it together in the next  years i never will  but its hard i have literally everything going against me i work all the time at a job that i hate and still somehow always end up living paycheck to paycheck i literally have  in savings because i grew up as a ward of the court in the foster care system and was never given the opportunity to start a savings account i dont own a home and as much as id like to i probably never will i hate the toxic environment that im living in right now with an incredibly filthy and sometimes physically abusive roommate who drinks all the time i still dont have my drivers license or a car  i had a government job lined up working for fema corps but now due to reasons that not everyone will be able to understand ive had to turn it down in my last year of eligibility and search for something else ive also been steadily gaining weight due to my stress eating over the past few months and i went form  lbs to  which for my height has given me a bit of a pouchy stomach that will only get worse if i dont redirect my energy fast but i just dont know where to start   i keep feeling like everything could be so much better if i fled my state and went somewhere cheaper but moving would cost an arm and a leg its all really frustrating,3.0
42744,and ya sreejithraman da partey was fun bt  days in a row is prety tough on me  im getin sooo tired ,2.0
42745,mobizzle lol have fun tonight love u girl ill see you before i leave ,0.0
42746,i created a sub for people actively investigating the causewhat helps depression please read the rules before joining httpswwwredditcomrresearchingdepression,3.0
42747,depression,1.0
42748,quotnegativity is gravity it slows people downquot i love talking to him ,0.0
42749,my dad died a month ago it hurts but it feels i am learning who he was now first i need to say if my wording is weird i am sorry my primary language is german i have seen very positive support communities here and i want to say what i need to saymy dad was almost a stranger to me he and my mum divorced when i was  years old i am  now and he was never much in my life when he was around it was unpleasant because he was a drunk with schizophrenia who would yell about a door being left open or the government sometime he would sing songs for me and my brother with random lyrics about heartbreak running like a windmill the meaning of life the cold war etc it wasnt any thing you would sing for children and albeit his voice was nice it wasnt very warm or welcoming he said he wrote his music with some old friends that none of us ever met and he said he recorded some music and even had plans to revive his old hobby but he never let us listen to any of the music he would never share it even with our mum he never revived anything he never tried to heal our family or himselfhe died last month after suffering from heart problems for two years now my family and i are just learning my dads music was real he really had friends music poems and even short stories and he even tried to have their music played at a local radio near his hometown where he grew up and spent most of his life before he met my mum im learning about his mind and his life now and i think it is beautifulmy family and i are not sure if we want to share his work anywhere yet his friends do not mind for their selves does anyone here have a story like this of learning more of someone you loved after they are gone,3.0
42750,im getting back into the swing of things dug myself out from my hole and slowly starting to enjoy life again aint it great ,0.0
42751,i have quotwanderlustquoti lust after travel and new places  im nomadic,0.0
42752,shooting with dina  ,0.0
42753,earlier today my ankle twisted in some way that i heard and felt a pop in my foot now it hurts a lot and i cant place weight on it ,2.0
42754,serenespot haha yeah looks like no trucks tonight ,2.0
42755,im home tweeps whats up ,0.0
42756,freeeky well no spiders or snakes yet just a couple of flys that went squish  hope ya got some qualifications or a lot of moola then,0.0
42757,not able to do anything i have really high goals at least had now even though i have them i just cant show any effort for anything at all my grades are at a huge downfall and sometimes i feel so motivated about my goal but still nothing,3.0
42758,i want a chick fila chicken biscuit i doubt ill have time at atl to find one though ,2.0
42759,suicide car bomb attack kills many in philippines   ,2.0
42760,corybooker vegetarian just won major points with me ,0.0
42761,donniewahlberg it certainly is a gift and i feel it more and more evryday being connected feels amazing it can only get better right ,0.0
42762,were now waiting for a rescue engine to come and try to drag us to newark other trains just keep passing us by ,2.0
42763,have to wait two weeks for my cord  thankfully i had a great experience with apple support thanks ladies,2.0
42764,dont put someone elses mental health and wellbeing in front of your own help yourself before you go helping other people,0.0
42765,my hobbies include forcing a hobby to utilize time and hating myself id much rather be hating myself most of the time its easier it actually feels fulfilling i run   times per week and lift weights  times per week but only to occupy the time id rather be hating myself what can i do to find something that i want to actively participate in which distracts me rather than a chore which prolongs the inevitable often hating myself feels more fulfilling than anything else ever can,3.0
42766,video i miss camp and all my camp buddies  ,2.0
42767,rt  i wish every single person could see this can we raise awareness for anxiety and mental health please 🙏🏻💜 ,0.0
42768,kridrules  i got so teary eyed,2.0
42769,yawn city in here  man  lol,2.0
42770,my brother has the swine flu  i feel i am going to get it,2.0
42771,got called stupid by a professor tldr  basically asked a professor for help in order to boost my grade up just ended up getting told that i dont think and am not good enough for being in stem classes which is the reason why im a lesser majorso i wanted to raise my grade up for a class that im kind of struggling in and i was hoping that going to my professors office hours would help me improveboy was i wrongm mep professorm so ive getting the free responses wrong and i wanted to know how i could improvep well let me check what youve written pulls up my answers so what do you think im supposed to think when you put in an answer like thatm i just stand there because i have no idea how to respond um idkp it makes me think youre not thinking what year are youm freshmanp yea youre expected to do a little thinking in college m oh okp when i see your grade it makes me think youre not doing anything at all what did you get in the testm oh an a keep in mind that the majority of the class scored a c so i was pretty well off in that department but was missing points for in class discussion which is bringing my grade downp oh i see why are you even taking biology for your general ed in your first yearm i needed a class for creditits a requirement to take a science and obviously i have to take the class at one point or another its not like i can get away from not taking itp what major are youm english p what are your other classesm philosophy history and englishp a bit different from bio huhm um yeap maybe thats why youre just an english major so i had to leave because at that point i wanted to ball my eyes out because i didnt think id be questioned for my life decisions let alone in front of another professor who was just snickering behind me when i left the other professor said  see you soonso i left and just started crying because my goal is to transfer to another school and now im thinking that maybe im too stupid to even transfer to somewhere elselater on i go to the professors lecture and i sit in front of him and then tells the class to discuss topics p do you even have notesm yea in my laptop p maybe its a good idea to start doing something elseliterally the entire class types out their notes why am i the only one to get targeted for itall i wanted was some advice not get belittled and now i feel scared to even step in class because i just feel so inferior to everyone who probably are better off than me and i dont want the professor to keep talking down on me,3.0
42772,making amends should i approach people i wronged and who wronged me to make amends about things that happened during my manic times,3.0
42773,first ever post hi recently made an account on here and after lurking for a bit thought id share  im currently a week or so into  mg venlafaxine  over the past  months ive been on citalopram fluoxetine and bupropion with a little buspirone sprinkled in along the way  its a little frustrating bouncing around different meds with the side effects that come with them  im  and for most of my adult life i struggled with seeking help  i used alcohol and marijuana heavily to cope for years  i could go for maybe  months sober before finding life completely unmanageable  my family was not the biggest help in seeking treatment  my dad is a pharmacist and cautioned me from going on any medication and my mom is a closet alcoholic that would basically tell me to suck it up and go to mass strict catholic upbringing here that always turns out well  long story short i had a complete mental breakdown a little over a year ago  a few events led up to that  my best friend had committed suicide during a period we had stopped talking to each other  the woman i was dating and living with managed to ghost me moved out all of her things while i was at work and then broke up via text and my job had become so stressful that i was having regular panic attacks throughout the day  i work in government permitting so having good ol boy contractors down here in florida telling me to kill myself and calling me a yankee fggot was getting old  i was planning on killing myself but i didnt want to do anything super dramatic  i was just kind of hoping i could drink myself to death  after not responding to any calls or texts for over a week my dad flew down and found me on my apartment floor  a day or two later id probably be dead  i had written out all my passwords and pins for bank account info and such deleted my browser history lol left nice notes for everyone  i was just hoping that i would pass out and never wake up  im happy to say that im starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel  after years of being reserved and too tough to open up about my emotions ive repaired and improved my relationship with my family  once my lease is up on my apartment here i will be moving back to pa to live with them for a bit while i recalibrate and hopefully find a new career to settle into  im looking forward to getting back into my hobbies like hiking fishing cooking playing basketball and watching sports with some of my old friends  ive been sober about  months  i know it is not in my best interest to drink again and i dont really plan to  the medication has really helped with that  i peeked my head into aa a few times and it creeped me the fuck out  some old dudes seeming way too eager to be a sponsorim sure they meant well but it was a very cultish vibe and the meetings actually depressed me and made me want to drink morei am having a more difficult time shunning the notion of marijuana  if i do partake again ill just have to keep tabs on myself and stay mindful of my emotions  my current plan with my psychiatrist is to switch back to bupropion once im about to move  believe it or not i still have the same job through all this time and have actually been promoted twice  it is still very high stress so the bupropion right now isnt a great option as it augments anxiety  the biggest thing that has helped me throughout my recovery is to have things to look forward to long and short term  it can be as simple as planning on cooking something new for dinner  i also have written out a long term plan for my life  i look forward to owning a home a little out in the woodsmountains someday where i can have bonfires and garden  not super remote but pa has a lot of state parks around phillyallentownharrisburg  obviously a relationship would be awesome too but that will all come with time  ive got about  months to kill in the meantime so feel free to ask me anything  hope i didnt ramble on too much like i said  post   ,3.0
42774,basically ive listened to miley cyrus for fourteen hours now and i love it ,0.0
42775,if anyone comes upon a hawaii quarter please save it for me ,0.0
42776,i have to work today   atleast i dont start until ,2.0
42777,jijoy check this   all symptoms are present other than the last one  ,2.0
42778,tomorrowish a new day coz school  well not like  ish serious though xd wooot  year is sooooo hard,0.0
42779,is not ready for another week of this but is so glad to go to work and not wonder if her car will start ,0.0
42780,last day of camp ,2.0
42781,i didnt know depression hurts this much i accepted a job almost a year ago now that has me working three overnight shifts then a morning shift on the forth day over weekends my bf and i live together but i realistically only get to see him a few hours a week since he works weekdays the loneliness and isolation from my job alone makes me break down almost every day before i leave work let alone the inconsistent sleep ive been applying to all the shittiest of any and all low entry level jobs i can get in my field that wont sacrifice my financial stability too hard but i graduated a year ago and have minimal experience i havent kept up with my work bc of the depression and im outdated and its only getting harder and harder to even find energy to apply my family moved too far away from me and they were my best and pretty much only friendsits getting harder to control the crying and breakdowns time moves so slowly and i just want out,3.0
42782,attempting to organize pc work area need a desk ,2.0
42783,tormodgibson lol no there were no sacrifices other than me not drinking as i was the designated driver ,2.0
42784,thethermals  weeks today till i see ya wheyyyyyyyyyyyy ,0.0
42785, i miss that world so much thank you for watching it and for sharing in my feelings even the sad ones 🙏🏼💕,1.0
42786,jakegrimley with wineflu markjames with new clogs bought on tinternet timkit sounding like barry white never a dull moment at made ,0.0
42787,hey  cvander el link de bitly está roto  live at ,2.0
42788,headache and bad throatwhat more could you possibly ask for ,2.0
42789,my gal used  do dat scholarette onthelow i hide his keys and cell phone just to get him to stay longer ,2.0
42790,sigh no lakers tonight either huh lovely jeopardy and simpsons it is i need to pick up a pen go to work but i want to sleep ,2.0
42791,depressed or just lazy so im a junior in college right now ive always gotten good grades and have been a dedicated student all my life however this year ive been struggling some issues of sexual abuse from my past have started to crop up i have a hard time getting out of bed most days and i find myself missing class a lot i always feel really guilty about missing class and always try to keep up with my assignments but at the same time i feel like i physically cant face the world a lot of the time im to the point where i feel like i just dont care about school or much of anything anymore i have no idea what i want to do with the degree im pursuing and i just feel emotionally drained and tired all the time i have very little desire to hang out with my friends and be social as well im seeing a therapist and dropped one of my classes but i still have a very hard time motivating myself i feel bad because i dont want to waste my parents money or let my mom down but lately i feel like i just cant do life which in turn makes me feel like im a weak person do you think im depressed or just lazy note ive been on prozac for years but i dont really feel like it does anything for me ,3.0
42792,sydney weather today  from warm to chilly in less than an hour  gloves beanie and trench ready to go,2.0
42793,suburbanfarmer  theres always tomorow ,0.0
42794,boy i dont know why but i feeling real anxiety for this nba finals lol 😂,1.0
42795,maniakjaytwo loll and that was sloppy but i def popped harder than u lol rip to that board tho  tht part of my life is long goneee lol,2.0
42796,finally talked to the london connect different time zones off to sleep now   photo session  bright and early ,0.0
42797,danialexis i noticed they put in a jimmy johns when we were there last month  so jealoustheres just one jjs in the whole dc metro ,2.0
42798,donofkhan lol  uhyea i could use some  i cant hit the bar im still a baby  ,2.0
42799,anxiety is high again frickity fuck,1.0
42800,this might be my last new year do you ever have thoughts like this that just cast a shadow over an otherwise happy moment living with severe treatmentresistant depression is like living with a terminal illness i remember back in  i didnt think i would make it to  and now here i am three years later in the exact same placeim a senior in high school right now and looking at colleges and all i can think is that whatever college i go to is probably where ill die its exhausting,3.0
42801,jazmine  is in da cage again  ,2.0
42802,rt matthewbarbs this gave me hella anxiety ,2.0
42803,satori those jerks denied you linkage ,2.0
42804,fasting today food is the worst addiction and somehow between munching and eating like a pig ive seem to put on  kilos ,2.0
42805,jonathanrknight you dont know where you are because you miss virginia beach already    we would sit through a hurricane for you guys ,0.0
42806,i want a nao robot red ,0.0
42807, aw well aint u lovely  how u doin today hun,0.0
42808,quit my job ive been working at a pizza place for the last few months before school started back up the owner has been really great and has worked with me to make my schedule work with my classes when school did start up but due to a sudden schedule and class swap i no longer have time to work had to call in and explain to the owner why i wouldnt be at my shift and that id try to find someone to cover for me but now i feel like a sack of shit,3.0
42809,how to deal with stress anxiety and bipolar disorder  anxiety is one of many troubling symptoms of bipolar di ,2.0
42810,stephendang lmao  hilarious,0.0
42811,going to bed ,0.0
42812,sleeping early tonight working all morning tomorrow ,2.0
42813,my grandmother just died  but she was so sick and sufering too much so dieing was the best for her now she isnt sufering anymore,2.0
42814,diasporicblues there is a lot of mental health issues around the planet but those without the education about ment ,2.0
42815,rt storyinpicture what is depression like ,1.0
42816,seriously disappointed by mss new eyetoy cant understand the hype ,2.0
42817,home but i wanna do something hit me up ,0.0
42818,ircheryl hi cheryl ,0.0
42819,rikimae oh now thats just messed up ,2.0
42820,brassyapple thanks so much  your so sweet,0.0
42821,perhaps all anxiety might drive from a fixation on moments  an inability to accept life as ongoing,1.0
42822,watching the dane cook special on comedy central ,0.0
42823,everything has been feeling really hopeless for me over the last six months i ended a  relationship moved across the country to a city where i know barely anyone  of my pet rats died and im having issues making friends the few people that ive gotten slightly closer to have already bailed on being friends i feel like ive really fucked up i dont know if moving back to my old city would even fix anythingi have no real hopesgoals for the future i am not close to anyone in my family i dont want kids i dont really have a dream job or anything like that and i am not focusedtalented enough to make art etc the only real thing i had been looking forward to was being in a gooddeep relationship but after my most recent relationship collapsed i dont really feel like i believe anything will work anymore ive turned to random hedonistic pursuits to try to make me feel better but really they are just making me feel worse i dont know what im really supposed to do from here im already on antidepressants but even through them i feel this way but i suppose at least i no longer want to die i just kind of feel numb i have a list of things to do every day and i try to do them but i really just want to shut myself in my apartment read books and never see anyone ever again its just really really hard to believe its gonna get better you knowthanks for reading just wanted to get that off my chest,3.0
42824,good morning twitters  who wants coffee  cafe con leche,0.0
42825,i really dislike biochemistry ,2.0
42826,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
42827,idablack sureee i will come with u  ,0.0
42828,omg this makes me so happy  wednesdays gonna be amaaaazzziiingggg ,0.0
42829,rt athazgor have you ever been so sad that it physically hurts inside,2.0
42830,thrashmetaldude kid yeah i know quite hard actually and what if i get lostkinda had different plans to this ,2.0
42831,going now  byyeee twitt dont miss yu too much x,0.0
42832,rt enchiladad so apparently my theme this summer is gonna be depression,1.0
42833,damn looks like the usb card reader that i got from dealextreme doesnt work i can see the files on the card but they are read only ,2.0
42834,yimchow its over swindon right now ,0.0
42835,now owes  amda and still has to pay  for my plane ticket to cali land wow no more star bucks  ,2.0
42836,therealshaq screw you shaq that is the worst twitter post ever just kidding big man well said ,0.0
42837,anyone feel like that everyone elses problems are biggermore important than yours it always feels like all of my friends problems should come before mine no matter on what mine are or what they are doing to me like everyone else is more important,3.0
42838,thrressatrn i have an a in english but i got a c on the ar so i need to bring my grade up ,2.0
42839,alejoplay i like it but the only things that grab me are the songs ive had for a while now and even theyre starting to wear thin ,2.0
42840,goood sex is me ,0.0
42841,my mom made pancakes ,0.0
42842,finding a job seems pointless hello hoping somebody else has gone through this im turning  this year i got laid off few months ago i have a lot of money saved up so money isnt a problem right now i have zero motivation to get a job because i cant imagine going back to the horrible office life it paid well but the daily grind is miserable i dont think my job was a bad one by relative standards i was good at it too software developer thats just how office jobs are to me your life just feels like its owned by somebody else its hard to force myself to get a job because its voluntarily entering into a life i hate several years ago i had a lot anxiety and depression i failed school many times never got job or dated i just stayed home did nothing all day i was unhappy because i saw myself as a loser and i just wanted a regular life degree good job social life took some years of hard work and therapy but i got a degree good job friends and a girlfriend but achieving all that seems almost pointless if my whole life is to just grind work and pay bills whats the point of living like that  i stay home all day now quite ironic now that staying home doing nothing is something that makes me the most happy now my sleep is all messed up with odd hoursthe responsible side of my just tells suck it up because thats just how it is has anybody else been through this and gotten through it ,3.0
42843,annwhit well its not blipfm but something to tide you over until they get back to you wa fix ,0.0
42844,but youre smart how can you be depressed well first off im not smart i dont deserve such complimentssecond off why do so many people to be me when all i want is to be one of them for once ,3.0
42845,nessmendoza that sounds sooo good right now ,0.0
42846,guess what goes together like peanut butter and jelly zackery blake and ashley       ,0.0
42847,rt ogherbo yall really got to stop letting people stress you outits never that serious,2.0
42848,enjoying some live jazz piano on demand  such a luxury,0.0
42849,sigh i love this song its always youquot  wherever you are your near me,0.0
42850,truetiger its mine silly  lol what happened to yours ,0.0
42851,really sad ,2.0
42852,hates working in the basement since when did the sun stop shining and water start to fall out of the sky ,2.0
42853,kevinruddpm hi ruddy reply pls  my mum hates labor and libereal,0.0
42854,clubnilirony found milo wasnt that great in the uk i bought some in sainburys  just tasted burnt  hope you have more luck with tescos,2.0
42855,im going to try and get healthy for as long as i remember ive always been chunky not really fat but definitely never slim my family all have stocky forms and its clear none of us would never be thin and that isnt even what i want i also have pcos a very common syndrome for women that has some shitty effects such as making weight loss more difficult and focusing weight on your stomach like a pot belly i also have a sweet tooth icy sweet beverages are one of my favourite things and i love extreme flavours lemon sorbet salt and vinegar chips sweet skittles spicy foods etc this does not help my health mental health also doesnt make this a walk in the park so im doing something i have done countless times before this time i feel a little braver about it though im going to try a lowcarb diet which should still give me plenty of nutrients and not starve me id never last being hungry all the time im also going to try and up my excercise but dieting will probably be my focus my wake up call may have been last night when i was bored so i decided to make caramelised apples in doing so i accidentally melted a spatula and it while eating them felt guilty about the cloying dish i had been thinking ill be healthy for a while and get looking at the bin i could see chocolate skittles maccas sigh no more though hopefully baby steps wish me luck ,3.0
42856,up to study for orgo final ,2.0
42857,time to go out ,0.0
42858,bored it is so cold in my house  ughh tired but im not gonna sleep tonight,2.0
42859,no matter how well i take off my mascara i still get panda eyess so annoying  ,2.0
42860,jesssca  lameee but you should go to the blink fob tour,2.0
42861,the weather is gross today ,2.0
42862,  this is for all who is on team padalecki   enjoy enjoy enjoy,0.0
42863,overdosing first i want to state that in no way i want to end my life but im curious is overdosing on medicines an effective way of killing yourself,3.0
42864, trying to understand why adult relationships have to be so complicated ,2.0
42865,theres no place like home  finally back in kansas,0.0
42866,recommended corrinrenee to mrtweet shes so nice and superrr funnny follow her too   ,0.0
42867, i hope someone turns it into a torrent so i can watch it too ,0.0
42868,russelldevon im buzy last few days of school lots of work to turn in still cant really have fun this weekend ,2.0
42869,my deepest condolences to taehyungs grandfather i know taehyung has a strong relationship with his family and he ,1.0
42870,raina sad yea,2.0
42871,goodnight twit babeand tweet dreams ,0.0
42872,now only  hours till work  sad panda ,2.0
42873,rt harianahoe ok whores heres ur chance to be added to kissy suicide™️ be a crackhead dont be problematic unless it funny try and,1.0
42874, your new video is awesome  really i love it,0.0
42875,at work   but at least shogun won  ,0.0
42876,i am the worlds worst speller   drool,2.0
42877,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
42878,goodyk  too bad that doesnt bump you up in line to get your work done ,2.0
42879,just dropped rich and jen off at the airport everyone has gone  frown  ,2.0
42880,langfordperry i can imagine u saying it yay aloud in chandler style ,0.0
42881, year old me made a sad  spotify playlist and now im crying at  in the morning to it  years later,2.0
42882,hollysuel well make sure you get that balanced viewpoint  when are you moving,0.0
42883,life is quite hard when you enjoy nothing i have really tried to be happy and positive i have tried to see the silver lining in everything but it isnt working life feels utterly pointless since there is nothing that makes me happy or anything to live for im just strolling through life and not living it and when i think of it everything just gets worsei had dreams about my future i always wanted to be a sea captainofficer on a ship my english is pretty good but my pronouncing is complete trash and everytime i try to speak english i get really anxious and just cant do it i had a really bad stutter when i was younger but it went away over time when speaking finnish in short im  from finland trying to enjoy the best time of my life and getting nowhere with it,3.0
42884,has bad cramps ,2.0
42885,been a mean bitch to steve the last few days sorry ,2.0
42886,what a day   got a new computer and all my passwords are messed up  ,2.0
42887,valebrity i got a bunch of fakes for you ill send you an email in the am  thanks guys,0.0
42888,crashed my bike at  mph in emergency room now shoulder is not good this is bad  ,2.0
42889, still depressed some people on reddit are pos i would post i appreciate that that reminds me of the time     and id get downvotedi would say i enjoyed that movie the part where the character says shoot my brother in the face didnt amuse me and id get downvoted and replies like thats a stupid thing to whine abouti asked rhelp to be put on a spam filter so i could comment without anyone seeing and i got downvoted and people upvoted the reply saying if you dont make any comments or posts then no one will reply to you mute yourselfthose peoples history have twenty upvotes for comments like youre a dumbassi want to put up a barrier,3.0
42890,am so fuckin tired bt am trying to cram lol ahhh the stresses of exams ,2.0
42891,nycitymama yea that didnt happen to me friend was taken to jordan though pretty sad never saw her again   ahh childhood,2.0
42892,goooood morning all hope everyone had a great weekend weather was fantastic in atlanta ,0.0
42893,house warming party at the klauses before work ,0.0
42894,yaaaay  tip todayr whooo first one ever fuck ,2.0
42895,grrr now the stupid settings thing wont let me upload my picturecries  haha,2.0
42896,tanahuffman same here  mmmm macrina bakery,0.0
42897,uhuiii move up by    twittercom,0.0
42898,domcaluagpaz hahaha i just bought the game yesterday ,0.0
42899, thischicsflava daprbmchild ,0.0
42900,rt  là là la lá la   kênh đã đạt được  sad rồi nha mấy bác👏👏        chúc mừng các anhgtteenchoice choicefandom b,2.0
42901,just back from my lunch break ,2.0
42902,someone please tell me im not a loser you dont have to mean it lie to me if you mustjust please someone anyone i dont know what to do anymore,3.0
42903,rt hazlovernh thats so sad alexa play the gay anthem medicine ,2.0
42904,aayatali awwww  btwwww which car,2.0
42905,hells yeah dot dot dot on local  in a bit ,0.0
42906,going to the gym at night is such a good stress reliver,1.0
42907,me too  i miss coffee ,2.0
42908,so girlie time making the whole beauty stuff nails hair and then dressing up ,0.0
42909,just got new glasses wwit will take time to get used to new prescriptions ,2.0
42910,good morningim free  no school todaybut thing have to be donestill,0.0
42911,pamfidler hi pam  pretty much enjoying myself    how are you doing pam  my prayers are always with you,0.0
42912,bad day ,2.0
42913,i have a great life and no reason to be depressed according to my boyfriend in short my boyfriend cares but is having trouble understanding what im going through he doesnt believe in mental illness and cant wrap his head around why im feeling this way i barely have the energy to get out of bed and im tired of attempting to explain myself im not done trying but laying next to him at night i just wish i had a reason that he could justify in his mind as to why im depressed not that i am ungrateful for my life or want something bad to happen to me but i just want to make it easier on him wondering if anyone else goes through the same thoughts ,3.0
42914,is noticing a lot of men are cool with being boyfriend  smh kings should respect themselves more blessings ,0.0
42915,touchdown in atl the lap baby didnt make a peep the entire time ,0.0
42916,fun day villagechurchtx staff party  and came home with  gal of sweet tea ,0.0
42917,i had a great weekend ,0.0
42918,long long day at work   tomorrow off,2.0
42919, novos followers httpmigremesfn sorry the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity strange � �timo ,0.0
42920,doctors apointment tomorrow  really looking forward to it ,2.0
42921,i feel bad about ghosting everyone i know but i cant change it its always like this i meet new people we get along then i disappear im always a disappoinment to any friend i make i feel like nothing is going to help me get away from this room im always back here locked windows closed and lying down in this dark bedroomi dont know what to do anymore everything and everyone is overwhelming i cant even imagine any kind of future for me i feel like i should just die im not even feeling suicidal i think but it just sounds like dying is the logical answer to all thisim tired of trying time and time again there are things that i enjoy and people that i like but i feel so broken inside that it seems like all of this is meaningless i dont know where to go therapy isnt helping at all i wish i could just disappear stop existing ,3.0
42922,jamiedelaine wowzers you are too fabulous jamie awesome shoot ,0.0
42923,rt serotosin cried in the shower bc i was sad and felt like i ruin everything and im an awful selfish person who deserves nothing good,2.0
42924,yahh so im totally excited to live off of  euros until saturday ,2.0
42925,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
42926,stuck it out for relay for life as long as i could sad to be missing out thoug ,2.0
42927,rt timcalderon anxiety levels rising each hour,1.0
42928,  i didnt mean to hows the cable,2.0
42929,jtug please give adhitiasofyan warm greeting ,0.0
42930,hovlookalike u just staying with me for my chicken tacos ,2.0
42931,emilygonsalves cool cant wait to see it ,0.0
42932,please help me i dont know what to do im so trapped i dont want to be here anymore ive tried to kill myself multiple times it wont work i i spent the last of my money on an extra bag and the helium ended up having  oxygen so it didnt work im going crazy i cant stop crying and sleeping i dont wanna be here anymore and the pain wont stop please help me it never ends,3.0
42933,confused and sad everytime i think i have it all correct that i am right with my self that i think that i am smart and that i can actually give people advice and actually make them realise i am there for them it happens the other way arroundeven though i may have had it rougher that many people thinkhave actually understood close friends more than anyone i still cant manage to help them and explain them somethingi feel like my brain is burned outi want to be there for people and have people that are close to me see me as someone they can talk to seriously and seek for a conversationbut i always seem to not be able to do shiti feel like my brain is burnedyou heard of people being burned out of weedthis is exactly how i feeli am just the guy thst someone has a laugh with once and then and never have a really deep connection with,3.0
42934,footballlvnlady would give new meaning to quothot headquot ,0.0
42935,is putting on skirting boards and filling holes i am woman hear me roar lol ,0.0
42936, its just spam dressed up by the makers  it makes their shop big on hits too this,2.0
42937,in the pool ,0.0
42938,twitter is highly addictive ,0.0
42939,im having all sorts of technical problems today ,2.0
42940,yungceo  o thats good  im doin good just whatchin tv,0.0
42941,i miss these days   sarah   homes sam  just about to have a food break sarah  koolies sarah  from ,2.0
42942,nathanta hey who do you work for ,0.0
42943, i want you in middle of europe ,0.0
42944,good morning out to breakfast soon then work text oh and  days ,0.0
42945,ddlovato i love  starstruckk is a great song  lol,0.0
42946,a student cried during my talk about bullies a girl had been tormenting him all year his nightmares amp stomach problems have stopped ,0.0
42947,i havent sleeeeeep last nigth i couldnt dunno why when i was abot to sleep my alarm rang  ,2.0
42948,hokutokonishi which means youre just going to have to come back to vancouver and have it our way hahah ,0.0
42949,my anxiety is thru the fucking roof,2.0
42950,yall the most disgusting thing just happened im gonna spare the details but i tried to walk away from my army an ,0.0
42951,tried to pull fourhour workweek so checked my email once today eff thats a lot of email self managing my need to tweet at work too ,2.0
42952,troubles with reaching out im posting this on a throwaway for personal reasonsall my life i am over  ive struggled with reaching out to people  its not that i dont know how to  and its not like people dont like me  quite the opposite in fact  for whatever weird reason people seem to genuinely like me  whenever i try to reach out theres this mental paralysis that takes over and i just cant make myself do itive had a tough weekend  to be honest the whole last year has been pretty awful  not all of it but enough of it  ive been feeling very lonely and isolated and i dont feel like i have anyone i can talk to about it  my relationship has gone downhill over the last year and my partner is not great at listening  they are very supportive and caring more than i deserve  but you know how it is  always trying to give advice or help or trying to tough love it  my best friend doesnt really understand how to help and ended up making things worse this weekend  im not particularly close with my family and im the one thats supposed to have their shit together  i tried to schedule an extra therapy appointment this week i go biweekly but they were booked solidi have problems opening up to people and trusting them  but most of all i just feel like a burden all the time  i feel like im constantly dragging people down around me and then i feel guilty for doing it  honestly i just feel like it would be better if i were alone because at least that way i wouldnt hurt people  id say these are all cognitive distortions and i guess they still are  even so i have had people directly tell me all these things  it makes me withdraw rather than reach outmy therapist has been working with me to try and open up to people but to be honest my attempts are not really going to well  it was one of these that led to my rough weekend  it wasnt anything major i shared i am not even close to ready for that just that i was sad about something  it was like one tiny step forward and two giant steps back  i spiralled pretty hardanyway im not looking for advice  just looking to say it aloud or whatever the digital version of speaking is,3.0
42953, i still dont understand  can you get me up to date please,2.0
42954,zaferroni  damn gentle esp with the scuffing rag ,0.0
42955,whowill yeah gotta ring jen and graham some time and sort out where were staying oh god im gonna have braces ,2.0
42956,asks beli domain yang harga dan kualitasnya berbanding terbalik dimana ya harganya murah  ,0.0
42957,struggle with myself everyday i havent discussed this with my doctor because i dont want to my energy level is low all the time i completely lost interest in my hobbies ive felt lonely and empty a lot recently everyday i wake up get ready for work feel super stressed at work because of the culture there get home and have no energy left thats my cycle from monday to friday it takes me time to fall asleep my mind is just blank and somehow i cant shut it down  im tired of crying too often i can feel that im not my normal self anymore i dont like it at all i want to quit my current job because i hate it but i need it to pay off my credit card bill i got an inperson interview last week and they didnt hire me this may will be my  year after graduation and i cant even get my dream job how pathetic i am i feel everything is out of control and i dont know what to do im getting sick of seeing myself like this everyday,3.0
42958,andre riue on neighbourswhat has the world come tointernets down  lol,2.0
42959,purpleinnej ummmm not spoiled  extra loved ,0.0
42960,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,1.0
42961,good night all just set this twitter thing up im very new at this but i expect it to come in handy ,0.0
42962,new pics from clash of the titanslooks awesome  ,0.0
42963,guitarscreams hell yes  we must do this more often haha,0.0
42964,woodsprite my husband is pregnant with seths mom  i could really use a clear update here  ,0.0
42965,you would think thatwouldnt you ,0.0
42966,rt ehjovan so not only am i gay because im depressed but being gay is the root of my depression im trapped in an endless cycle https,2.0
42967,ryomaechizen cmon where are u ,2.0
42968,  yeah il bring my laptop in  even though it doesnt have word,2.0
42969,preparing  my oral examsdont wanna do that it sucks anyway ,2.0
42970,candylaflam i can empathize with temp fluxs but i need natural light  you can have my lighbulbs i hardly use them anyways ,0.0
42971,im not sure if this allowed here but i dont know where else to go for friends but anyone here have a  with minecraft i have no one and im lonely building shit bymyself you guys know the struggle of life and shit i want to be distracted from it with someone in minecraft if you got  minecraft please pm me so we can chill and play together,3.0
42972,ok so what to do now ,2.0
42973,back to work tonight after  weeks off ,2.0
42974,right finished work or think i have bed soon another early start for me ,2.0
42975,workout done ,0.0
42976,i jus quotwitnessedquot the magic win yeaaaahhhh baybeeeee ,0.0
42977,  ac is essential,2.0
42978,am i slowly having depression im not sure if this is the right sub for my issue but here it goes i have noticed far the past few years i feel like im slowly degrading from what i used to be i noticed that my learning a attention level worsen than before before i get good grades without trying that much but now i struggle to focus on anything i would procrastinate all the time and all the long and feeling like i was not there and was trying really hard to think of happy thoughts and memories in the face of overwhelming dullness of presenti always feel think of nostalgic thought for some reason also i noticed that i have been less communcative with other people before i was always a quiet kid but can talk to anyone but now i just hate seeing sight of people and social interation is anybody experiencing this this has been slowly happening to me since i was  was when i moved from my house to dormitory and now im  could anybody help please,3.0
42979,studying at my sisters  and making homemade pizza later,0.0
42980,sunshine  tonight a diner with friends but now cleaning up ,2.0
42981,no one cares so why should i been dealing with depression for some time now ive just been really good at hiding it these past few weeks ive been going through a horrible episodei have no friends i barely have any family i have my girlfriend and my mother thats it i tried talking to my girlfriend tonight about how im feeling but she told me just to go to sleepmy mother doesnt care i speak to her about how im feeling and it just turns into a conversation about her ive tried therapy but that doesnt work when does it end,3.0
42982,saabmagalona   you look like twins ,0.0
42983,seroquelquetiapine withdrawral ive been on  quetiapine for the past  years for depression anxiety and slight ocd symptoms i felt tired and groggy and dazed alot of the time would sleep for  hours a night and it got to the point where i felt like it was really affecting my life moving from education into a career where its lots of early mornings i was struggling since my mental health has been somewhat fine for the past  years or so i decided to stop taking the quetiapine i also take mirtazipine which has helped immensely for my depression so i felt ready to stop i spoke to my doctor about it and ive been tapering off for the past few monthsa few weeks ago i went from  to nothing throughout this process ive felt ok some physical symptoms like nausea but nothing too terrible now ive gone down to nothing over the past couple of weeks things have gotten badim sleeping better feel less tired etc but have this constant anxiety at the moment i feel on the verge of tears all of the time and quite hopeless cant stop thinking whats the pointis this normal for withdrawal how long will it take for this to pass any advice would be appreciated,3.0
42984,iviva i have trouble updating ,2.0
42985,the  reigns supreme once again ,0.0
42986,arvindvm oh that sounds wonderful uniting dogs amp people all over the world  pics to be posted as the chaos ensues,0.0
42987,is it just me or is mot ruining my life they say i have to wait until half  screw this im going home ,0.0
42988,enjoys being human it has alot of perks  think about it goodnight ,0.0
42989,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
42990,happy saturday  i found some great plastic letters todaytoo bad my photo studio is down ,2.0
42991,grrrrrits now june  everywhere in the world except honolulu but we have to wait another  hours for iphone  ,2.0
42992,i should just go for a shower even if my hair is clean ,2.0
42993,rt tonyqwest my stressdepression episodes walk a thin veil between angerloathing,0.0
42994,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
42995,wellesley for the night then home for tomorrow ,0.0
42996,quotupquot was such an awesomecute movie ,0.0
42997,so tired good night internet i hardly saw you today ,2.0
42998,alexleonard hi pal  can u give me advise about good antivirus prog for opera mini  of course ,0.0
42999,i love tae  im so sad now,1.0
43000,my twitpics arnt coming up on here idk why  ,2.0
43001,england trip update just saw stonehenge and now heading to london ,0.0
43002, depression myths we need to stop believing httpstcotqotpbimba httpstcomzjizomvcp,1.0
43003,ever hit that point of depression where youre too sad to leave the house to do stuff and it makes you more sad and it cycles bc same,2.0
43004,i have work sigh  but next time  just let me know cuz i have a lot of work  do otherwise i could have came lol  sigh  work,0.0
43005,guitar center and taco bell ,0.0
43006,kterwin i know it sucks ,2.0
43007,flossa i know  huggles back finish work soon woo,2.0
43008,i am wasting my life im  spotty work history never went back to school like i wanted im stuck in a small dead end town full of people that are not my type of people im sad i want out i want to live in a city i want to have a job where i have a positive impact on the world i dont know how i do it i just want out and im so scared im never going to get what i want,3.0
43009,got a new phone at last just in time my mums obsessing about finding my old one  many pics to follow,2.0
43010,digooooo well to tell you the truth it was muito weird then i got locked out of twitter for almost an hour so it was a bust ,2.0
43011,is starting to like twitter ,0.0
43012, cant sleep but oh well half my headache is gone,2.0
43013,i have zero reasons to be depressed and its frustrating first of all english isnt my native tongue so sorry for any stupid mistakes second i dont even know if this makes any sense i just get it out of my chest friday night i was at college and i was talking to this girl that i just met she started talking about her family problems basically her parents went through a divorce her sister didnt react well is really depressed doesnt want to eat nor go to school and already tried suicide two times this year to make things worse her mother suffers from bipolar disorder and is always arguing with the sister it really isnt a good environment to live right now for surewhen she told me this story my heart just broke and since then i feel very selfish i feel like my problems compared to this girl i met and her sister are so small i shouldnt complain about them and then i feel really sad because i dont have motives to be sad or have anxiety or depression because i dont have problems i know my parents love and care about me even when i dont feel they do and im still sad i feel worthless i shouldnt be feeling like this i dont deserve to feel like this i dont deserve life if i treat it so badlysince friday i tried to ignore my problems but the feel of worthlessness just improves and it turns into a cycle that how much i trie to forget sadness more sad i get im just really confusedi know that i cant help this girl i know that my worst depression moment isnt compared to the depression this girl passes every day maybe the worst part is that the girl i was talking to says shes emotionally stable and she has way much problems than i do and she still keeps living and im here with zero problems getting sad over nothing its just very very very frustratingi dont know what to think i dont know what to do i just hope one day ill get through my idiotic suffering and most important this girl the sister gets better maybe shell never live her normal life again but if she lives its already good i guess,3.0
43014,working on a friday night ,2.0
43015,im stuck after more than a year of self harm constant attempts by my peers to help my mental health i finally pushed them all away nowadays i just get an i dont know what to tell you shut up im just setting boundaries my parents think its nothing like ill just get over it when i try talking to them about it they take it so lightly i got one of my close friends ghosting me because their mental health is being affected by mine i dont know what to do anymore i stay up until  every night thinking about how terrible of a friend ive been therapy would be nothing but a financial burden going to this subreddit and venting is my last resort i have nowhere else to go anymore,3.0
43016, i know and since the cats take naps with me they really are cat naps ,0.0
43017,orsh  that is so truea lot of people say that about the da vince code book as the movie was definitely a let down not going to good ,2.0
43018,hurray my sis is da best background pic thanks  her   ,0.0
43019,rt flexiflexiflexi i am a fat bag of sad and stressed 🤓,2.0
43020,godd morning all me is feel ill today  how are you,2.0
43021,is thrilled  its the weekend now  and off i go ,0.0
43022,robinista dude theres a chickfila on every corner in oklahoma  im gonna have to do some research,2.0
43023,dosnt feel so good damn cold ,2.0
43024, awwww u only make the big  once dont do that ma ,2.0
43025,out of cigarettes i tried rolling some pubic hair in a  dollar bill but it just wasnt the same ,2.0
43026,saffrontaylor thanks for the follow up my beautiful british friend ,0.0
43027,sitting in the airport and i just realized i have no boo to talk to or to tell me to have a safe flightaww ,2.0
43028,be my peace not my headache i have enough stress in my life amp you dont need to be one of em,1.0
43029,chriscauley i just noticed that about your posts ,2.0
43030,and a side note heartburn is burning the sht out of me tonight ,2.0
43031,is there something wrong with me i smoke weed sometimes with my friends   of the time i smoke weed im critical about my behavior constantly thinking things like  am i acting weird right now or geez calm down youre acting so awkward right now i constantly worry about things dumb things more examples of thoughts i have are my voice sounds so weird or where should i look when im speaking to my friends or am i talking too muchtoo little right now when im sober i describe myself as a relatively quiet person but can still have decent conversations with coworkers family friends etc but i do also worry from time to time and also am quite sad most of the time  i feel like i have some sort of worrying type problem and i dont know what i should do in order to try and calm me down any sort of feedback in the form of comments or even pming me would be very much appreciated thank you taking the time out of your day for reading this ,3.0
43032,ianrobinson had fw for ten years  never used it  the new mb screen is a big improvement over the white one and even its ok for me,0.0
43033,mslorren u probably gone now ,2.0
43034, i know and my friend could find nothing online for kids like you he said he searched all over ,2.0
43035,georgegsmithjr ok thanks i ordered  pairs online too only cost me  kids cant wait to get them have a great day ,0.0
43036,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
43037, same shut up anxiety shut uuuuuupppp,1.0
43038,depression seriously affecting academic life how do i go about explaining it to professors ive always been very prone to depression im graduating this semester so the stress makes it a million times worse i often cant get out of bed to go to class and some of my classes take attendance i want to email my professors about it so they at least know something is going on and will maybe go easy on me but i have no idea how to approach it without seeming like im asking for special treatment if anyone has any advice please let me know,3.0
43039,mrno yummie me encanta el café ,0.0
43040,impulss this isnt blewz but will pass on the message ,0.0
43041,my life seems to be nothing but mood swings my life isnt really that bad i probably wont even feel this way in the morning and become a different person but ill speak of my emotions right nowi masturbated to porn again today and its only now that im feeling bad about it based off of what usually happens ill do it again a few days later and i will feel the same waymy attention span has been shot for a long time because of my internet habits i become fidgety watching a video for more than a few minutes and struggle to read an article all the way throughi guess if you want to talk to me thats fine but i dont expect anything to change ive tried and nothing has i will wake up tomorrow morning and go through my day acting like there are no problems for a little while until my mood swings again maybe it will happen because i masturbated or maybe something will hurt my feelings and i will go crazy and become agitated and depressed i dont know maybe when i graduate high school and move out things will change,3.0
43042,iowagma  happy anniversary to you two lovebirds ,0.0
43043,mayyang get it guuuurl goood luck in bay to breakers and dont get deyhdrated ,0.0
43044,bnerdy nawi threw it to the floor cuse lefty told me to close the freakin door behind me   ,0.0
43045,i want to tan and the freaking weather wont let me  bummmmmmmmer,2.0
43046,anybody work as a pa in film this is something i really want to do but i feel like it would be hard as hell for someone with anxiety and slight depression,3.0
43047,rt scottsantens annual incomes and employment rates dont show the massive amount of variance in our monthly earnings a ,1.0
43048,annissanns nice thought nis ,0.0
43049,bemelicious deviantlysweets i actually had to do work today ,2.0
43050,dtrotzjr i am sure that accordancebible would have something to say    they are a great company,0.0
43051,my  umbrella in a line of overworked and unappreciated friends is currently settling into a long stay on the lowell commuter line ,2.0
43052,yall remember when machel went missing from carnival and damn near sent us into depression ,2.0
43053,sausage and egg mcmuffin  pancakes and a small coffee  goodmorning or should i say goodnight lol peace out,0.0
43054,ethonography ,2.0
43055,exam at  pm  but leaving for gatwick early hours ,2.0
43056,i feel like death  my life and i are slowly crumbling,2.0
43057,wastedlittledjs tell iz about it ,2.0
43058,padmajac provided we know where u r on orkut ,2.0
43059,why do i exist how can anyone ever like me im ugly i have a voice impediment so i sound like an idiot i like to pretend like im normal but im not i developed a huge crush i obsess over her shes the only thing that makes me happy but of course she is normal she has her driver license and im a couple months older then her why am i so stupid and messed up i can barely spell im so obsessed with her but its literally impossible for it to happen i wish i could kill myself but im too scared for that i dont want to live anymore crying every night prying to god but it doesnt seem to fix anything i really wish i was normal then maybe i could be with her why am i alive i dont want to die alone i wish i could just disappear please,3.0
43060,shaundiviney   ohhh thats mad xd good job  xx,0.0
43061,had a great day  bbq  sun l watching bgt at the mo ,0.0
43062,wilks lol breaking a bones next on the list p will do mate thanks ,0.0
43063, open u guys are being amp letting us fans in  it really is awesome to talk to u like a normal person lol as weird as it sounds,0.0
43064,aananugrah  hope youre keeping those volcanoes warm for me ,0.0
43065,my anxiety is so bad today my hands are trembling i think maybe a coffee isnt the best idea this morning 😅,1.0
43066,they have a nice bagelmatin here but my high school french pretty well failed me   ,2.0
43067,sharonhayes mistygirlph  adamsconsulting scarletmandy mitzs rosehwang  gtgt great sunday   ,0.0
43068,alyssax i miss you mama  get better so i can see yew soonz,2.0
43069,rt ahmedkhalaf depression hits you like ,0.0
43070,asktechnetuk silverlight controls on teh conference presentations not always present so no full screen or fastfwdrvrse ,2.0
43071,hates jordan loren geeeeeeez what the heck is your problem  slet,2.0
43072,sunshine ate five pinkies after having ate  just three days go thats messed shes tracking well to grow to  feet  grrr jurasic park,0.0
43073,rt carriewetherald they need to have classes in high school focused entirely on mental health because some of yall dont know how to act,1.0
43074,no one words can explain how sad im rn sending my deepest condolences to him and his familystay strong mybaby😭💜,1.0
43075,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
43076,help it feels like i have nobody to go to i know i have friends and family but i just dont feel comfortable talking about some of things i think about i started smoking marijuana to help with some of this and i gotta say it has helped me beyond expectations but yesterday i got caught by my mother who is still stuck in the mindset that it kills people so now im having the one thing that helps me the thing that motivates me to do school work makes it easier to be social helps me stop thinking about the stuff i dont wanna think about its just gonna be stripped away from me i dont wanna say all of this to my parents cause they dont care how i feel they never have theyve never cared enough to even just ask if im okay theyve never cared enough to ask why i act the way that i do all theyre worried about is me going to college and getting a good job so that they dont have to work they dont care about my well being i know that if i tell them this theyll just call bullshit and itll make things worse anyone whos been in a similar situation please help i dont know what to do with myself right now,3.0
43077,nissanicole i am sad too we wont be able to go to six flags ,2.0
43078,parkinsons research efficacy of antidepressive medication for depression in parkinson disease a network metaan ,2.0
43079,headed to kelci s then ashleys later ,0.0
43080,drinking by the pool with my momma ,0.0
43081,my only accomplishment in the past  days i brushed my hair  days on the couch watching greys anatomy crying over depression holding me back from life watching people on tv be so happy to just be alive and all i did in the past  days was brush my hair im stuck and life doesnt even feel like its worth living ,3.0
43082,im leaving for boston in about  hours ,0.0
43083,going to take a long lunch work out at the gym grab some food ,0.0
43084,awake and stuff chillin with steph today hopefully she doesnt work ,2.0
43085,crunchyk hope im not invading but how old r u u look young is all  ,0.0
43086,hometownunicorn it is all about the timing isnt it ,0.0
43087,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
43088,charles from ft just posted this on btmusic awesome picture of a cat he found in the rain today way to go dude that made my day ,0.0
43089,this is amazing ❤️❤️❤️ ddlovato  diannadelagarza  maddelagarza,1.0
43090,xwalkinthesunx cool what is it ,0.0
43091,nickcarter hey nick i cant email the utube link at groundctrl   ,2.0
43092,my mouth hurts so bad sleeping it off today i need the pharmacy to open asap ,2.0
43093,ohmygosh the guy that standing behind me is fucking handsome ill change my mind for taking away my ice ill eat here ,0.0
43094,i think my leg is dislocated  bon fire today and i get to see zooch,2.0
43095,i waish the sun would come out  going tanning then attempting to find a new job,2.0
43096,uuuuurrgh want to die hangover  not cool at all ,2.0
43097, i just heard from brendan dj that there isnt a party on the boat this weekend ,2.0
43098,i lost  and cant eat ive been quite depressed and usually eat less than  calories a day and now eating seems impossible and i feel immediately sick i feel as if my body is dying and as soon as i eat anything i just want to puke it out my parents are really worried and i feel really malnutritioned i dont really know what to do i tried making soups and eating small fruits but as soon as i take a few bites i start gagging any advice,3.0
43099, no need to practise here i�m naturally talented ,0.0
43100,strange q but what was the hardest chapter of your life childhood ect ,0.0
43101,been jogging feel terrible nw  red faced  atleast im matchin my nails nw tho y,2.0
43102,ahh some kind of animal just had an awful death outside my window ,2.0
43103,thinks its a boring time to play  nobodys online or cant connect sigh ,2.0
43104,tainaathayde ooow what do you have r u sick or anything im about  read the script finally hahaha ill talk to u as soon as i can ,0.0
43105, oh im in pittsburgh lolwish i was with u guys tho ,2.0
43106,iczarrrrjonas its also in the news ,0.0
43107,becjee  it only eats my direct messages i was going to ask how you were but youve just told me ,0.0
43108,littletons me too flails cant it be january yet ,2.0
43109,rt heatherhorton a painting from darker dayswe are the sum of what weve conquered this was painted while i struggled with anorexia,2.0
43110,im gonna fail my gcses next year  ,2.0
43111,tell me why this tweet actually made me sad maybe its my personal shit but im sad,2.0
43112,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
43113,getting the tux for prom then who knows after thatabout to do my morning workout ,0.0
43114,third day of university and and i already want to give up i have to get up at  and drive – minutes to get to class most days i will spend at least and hour and a half just driving in class i struggle to focus and remember what was just said in between class i get nothing done i just listen to music and zone out instead of doing work which should be interesting to me theres so many people in the lectures and around the campus it makes me feel anxious and i never initiate conversation if someone does say something to me my body language is terrible i speak weirdly and i have forgotten their name by the end of the conversation i dont want to work for  years so i can get a job and work for another  years where i dont even do anything when i get home i dont do anything i just lie down and look at my phone mindlessly until i go to bed to do it all again i feel envious of people who i knew back in high school who are probably going to have the time of their lives and get so far i miss being a kid with no money and no responsibility i miss when i knew everyone around me i dont want to do this but i also dont think theres a much better alternative i just want to go to sleep forever ,3.0
43115,ashes to ashes is comming back  yay ,0.0
43116,joeymcintyre another picture please sir  ,0.0
43117,milan kundero in laughable loves although i should take offense at something like that hes painfully right ,0.0
43118,ok everyone im fine now  he loves me amp hes still perfect  haha,0.0
43119,kirstiealley you are hilarious i love reading ur tweets ,0.0
43120,im texting with ralf using chikka yiee ,0.0
43121,no one really wants to help ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for around  years im  btw i can barely hold a job in this past year and i also dont have health insurance i finally wanted to seek help ive been searching around and one website sent me to the betterhelp website because im looking for some sort of free counseling because what else can i do once you answer all of there questions before you can speak to anyone you have to sign up for  a week i understand they need to pay the therapists but does a single fucking person want to help anyone with asking for money i dont have would they rather i just end myself what the fuck am i supposed to do,3.0
43122,need help to get a girl i need help i need to get a girlfriend but i have a problem to talk to a girl if i want to talk to one my body stop me to go and talk to one and if i go to one i get nervous so i can talk normaly i need help,3.0
43123,sometimes it just doesnt make sense at all first of all im on mobile and english isnt my mothertongue apologies for any formatting and linguistic errorslike the title says sometimes it just doesnt make sense at all when youre on the roof staring at the night sky zoning in and out and the sky seems to zoom in and back out when youre on the bathroom floor in a puddle of your own tearswhen youre running to get dettol to wipe the cuts on your thigh because your ocd has you convinced that if you dont itll get infected and youll have to get it amputated of all thingswhen you want to scream and shout and rip your hair out but instead youre forced to put on your best im okay mom im alright smilewhen you throw away your pack of cigarettes at night vowing never to smoke again and to change your life around only to wake up the next day to buy another packwhen you see people around you that are outwardly more stable than you are their worries so mild and almost childish compared to the neverending problems that have your shoulders in that permanent slump when you would rather stay inside and read books to the point where the walls start twinkling and your eyelids as heavy as they are start fluttering when youre in the bathroom cigarette in hand dancing to yet another rock song that youve discovered only yesterday but will play it on repeat until it loses its flavour you want to go on or rather by now i should say i want to go on i want to be better i want to do better i want to be happy i want to breathe again i want to smile again i want to fucking feel again but how how will that ever happen for me when ive let myself down so many times that by now my legs refuse to get back up again and my mind refuses to truly understand the words of encouragement and meaningless solutions people pour into my ears ,3.0
43124,because today is the last day of black mental health awareness month something i wrote a little while back that i ,1.0
43125,robynhumes  bad times ahhhhh i wanna know whats happening lol,2.0
43126, my poor baby  she looks so sad,2.0
43127,rt razeofficial feelin sad ten una dosis de medicina con anitta 💊🎶 dale play 👉🏼  ,2.0
43128,sunnygeek wow thanks for the encouragement  ,0.0
43129,them are hanging out at my place chill guys ,0.0
43130, you are very welcome ,0.0
43131,my haggling skills are in serious need of sharpening no free salad for me ,2.0
43132,rejoice splinter cell fans sam fisher is back with the bang gameplay is very interesting ,0.0
43133,vargasl aaah and see im about to leave the vegas sunheat and trade it for tx sunheat boston is great though youll love it ,0.0
43134,no prob bob umm no i have a day of yay ,0.0
43135,i just realized that suicide is my only option and i need to stop procrastinating my constant suicidal thoughts are causing me so much pain everyday i live as if its my last pushing people away and trying to fuck up my life just for the hell of it but you know what i need to stop and just do it already not only am i hurting myself but im hurting all the people who try to help me maybe i dont want to get better or maybe this is just who i am a constantly depressed miserable shit who shouldve been killed long time agostop wasting your valuable time and resources and just put a bullet through my head already,3.0
43136,spent a very long time on imvu chatting goodnight ,0.0
43137,i had a dream about a giant sex complex videos toys clothes swingers rooms everything too bad it was just a dream ,2.0
43138,colliebean i wear a   djmyst during my spring cleaning i found two new balances i cant find either ones match ,2.0
43139,i must be like insane i just anwered a litte i wrote on my own how dum can i be haha  but i get people a laugh atleast d,0.0
43140, how did they get in ughhh fml ,2.0
43141,rt benthamsciencep broccoli extract protects retinal cells from oxidative stress via growkudosretina cells ,2.0
43142,i wake up everyday disappointed that i didnt die and hope each day it happens a little more it just hit me so hard today i dont know if i would classify myself as a depressed person ive been diagnosed with major depression and panic anxiety disorder but i dont know how much of it i believe because it was a general practitioner and not a doctor who specifically deals in behavioral health i think i have a lot going for me in life i work a decent job at a nursing home and am finishing school to become an lvn a little late because im  i have my own car that i paid for my own place that i pay for and dont often need help for money unless im sick i have crohns disease and need a little help i still feel like a loser im on probation for possession of marijuana and was using up to my sentencing for my pain and nausea the end of december and at my first meeting early february i failed a test i cant believe im this worthless my mom always has so many nice things to say about my brothers one is older and in japan running his own business and the younger one is moving up in the ups world and my niece is getting into the nuclear program in the navy what am i just a loser who cant even get probation right i didnt try to mess up i really didnt i made over the amount due to pay starting went to all my classes went to all my meetings it came to me that dying and getting out of everyones way would be so much easier ,3.0
43143,jennifalconer twitter the numbers and you might get a bigger audience ,0.0
43144,needs a full body massage badlyyyyyyyyyy ,2.0
43145,dchildofdestiny aaw im sorry to hear dat about your dad  just say a prayer today im sure hes watchin over from up there especially today,2.0
43146,johnwinsthegold ah man just saw you also have a headache  we can be woeisus in headache hell,2.0
43147,another great depression how devastating would it behttpstcormakkvqoxt ,2.0
43148,is there any more popular bread than pizza ,0.0
43149,awful two levels  very short runnin very very bad  i really hope it turns around  left  pay,2.0
43150,ernstjanb something  leaseweb as far as i can see ,0.0
43151,feeling really down today i went to group therapy yesterday and honestly it just made me feel so much worse i honestly have just had it with everything thats been going on in my life i cant convince myself that the voices in my head are wrong anymore i dont think im good enough to have someone love me because i know that im not a good person and they can find someone so much better someone who can actually have a conversation without having to force every single thing that comes out of their mouth i cant remember the last time i had a conversation that wasnt forced i wish i could just let myself go and enjoy another person but i cant i hate to realize that my life is going to be spent trying so i fight depression and find ways of making myself feel better im a  year old who isnt in college who isnt going to parties or working or doing anything in life and its draining to think that i had to set an entire year to try and make myself feel better again im just so tired today and i dont know if trying would really make me feel any better im so tired of trying to be okay when all i do is just push everyone away from me people that actually genuinely care for me i push them away because i dont want to bring them down because thats all i can do right now is being people down i wish i could enjoy my life right now i wish i could have done better in high school so i could have went to college i wish i could be going to parties i wish i didnt have to fight everyday to just feel good i wish i could just talk to people without feeling like i need my hand held its so fucking exhausting to think my entire life is just going to be one big fight even when i do feel happy in the back of my mind i fear the feeling of when im down and depressed because those feelings are so strong that it scares me to ever feel that way again i hope i can stay strong for everyone and not be that person who killed them selves i want to live a good life but its getting harder and harder seeing myself live the life i want to ,3.0
43152,goodnight  ,0.0
43153,talking on xbox and revising for maths tommorow ,2.0
43154,why is my anxiety so bad right now 😭,1.0
43155,does anyone else get sad about being depressed does that even make sense currently crying in bed because im so sad that i feel this way ,3.0
43156,why do i overthink over everything every time something small happens i tend to overthink and it consumes my thoughts so much its like i would spend an hour thinking if i have misspelled some word in an exam and another hour thinking about what my teacher meant its like my brain cant shut up but i want it to shut up i feel so overwhelmed and im so afraid of messing things up whenever im doing something else ill still be thinking of that certain thing and i just have no energy left,3.0
43157,  voidoided  carolecadwalla chrisinsilico yes i believe she has issues ,1.0
43158,a party gone sour so i went over to this one guys house with my boyfriend whos been really good friends with this said guy since they were kids he was throwing a small house party and invited some of his friends including my boyfriend and i even though i dont know him that well hes a great guy though from what ive gathered i was ready to have a fun night because i hadnt left the house for nothing but school and groceries for like a month  i dont really have friends of my own however everyone else at the party knew each other and they had a great time talking about things i couldnt pitch in on because i knew nothing about the subjects or their inside jokes and there were enough people to keep a conversation flowing at all times so i couldnt even get started on anything without being interrupted it was like i couldve disappeared into thin air and nobody wouldve noticed needless to say i left early i feel really shitty because i wanted to have a great time but ended up being miserable and alone again  im starting to feel thats kind of like my party trick,3.0
43159,poor little stelly i will miss her always ,2.0
43160,i love my mummy ,0.0
43161,sasspalindrome your new picture is way better than your old one this is much more you and a lot less guy barfing ,0.0
43162,mrericpirate did i hear someone say makeup ,0.0
43163,monday blues ,0.0
43164,shelbyrotter mmmm maybewhat time call me tomorrow well talk ,0.0
43165,thejoshset thanks for the invite ,2.0
43166,watching bernie muthafckin mac i miss uncle mac ,2.0
43167,callula im still learning how to use it gooosh i need help ,2.0
43168,at work unfortunately ,2.0
43169, no more curly hair im straight again maybe ill go curly for my homegirl lala bowling party friday idk up and i want something to eat,2.0
43170,rixaul i think i know what this refers to and if so congratulations if not well enjoy dinner with cmykdorothy ,0.0
43171,ok i have a confession i am scared as shit of thunder n lighteningand the gotdamn thunder is sooo loud ,2.0
43172,it is no fun to spend an hour getting stuff packed up and kids ready for the pool and then get there andthunder ,2.0
43173,rolando  haha gatorade sounds good right now they serve it in the gym after pe but i dont have pe today ,2.0
43174,has set up her laptop out in the sun so she get a tan burn  whilst doing coursework  having a bbq later aswell  d d,0.0
43175,i miss you im sorry i didnt get to see you youve been there since my parents were kids youve been super close to our family you took care of me as a kid too and for that we all accepted you as family we did everything together as a family it was only  years ago that you got diagnosed with cancer you didnt let that stop you you continued to push through you didnt give up anything you continued to fight you didnt let anybody down without a fight you were that brutally funny german girl that everybody wants to be friends with because your humor is what kept us smiling i miss you i regret not being able to go down saturday and spending my last moments with you im sorry i didnt get a chance to tell you that i loved you one last time im sorry i dont know how ill be able to handle this it hurts i want you to come back but i dont want you to suffer through pain youve already been through so much so much fighting for us and everybody around you i love you,3.0
43176,feeling scared everyday my first post and after lot of hesitation i am posting it here i have no one else to talk to i have moved to a country for studies where i hardly have friends everyday i feel alone and depressed and have no mood to go out whatsoever i failed an exam last quarter and its putting pressure on me my brother was supposed to visit me in my vacation which i was looking forward to and keep me motivated but his visa got rejected now with exams coming up next week and the pressure to match my expectations its kind of blurring my brains all day i feel lethargic and prefer sleeping in bed lots of future thoughts on whether ill pass my exams graduate in time  cost pressure is also on me and with no support counselling at university is useless seeing others being successful while im moving nowhere makes me worried that i do not fit here is it similar for others as well,3.0
43177, graicen and leave the singing with the singers ,0.0
43178,one of those could use a hug or a friend moments all i have left is my small family husband and  young kids i dont want to burden him with my struggles of depression you know i feel so guilty i cant work between my mental health and my epilepsy it makes me feel worse i try to make friends but i feel like i am just not meant to have friends i guess why i dont know but when i try to talk to them they avoid me people who used to come over have blocked me right now my phone is pretty dead because i literally have no one to talk to i am sick of struggling with depression medications arent working therapy isnt working but im trying its just too hard to do it alone anymore,3.0
43179,i legit feel like im going thro a depression and i hate it 😞,1.0
43180,tryna get my head together ready to be home ,2.0
43181,just started zoloft i just started zoloft a few days ago and the first and second day were pretty brutal i had pretty bad nausea threw up on the second day only managed to sleep a few hours headaches etc today though i feel fine aside from feeling foggy  headaches  dizzy i was wondering what other peoples first couple weeks were like on antidepressants what side effects did you get,3.0
43182,this is so sad alexa play despacito,2.0
43183,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
43184,rt andrewyangvfa americans are both getting married and having children at alltime lows in part due to economic stress the rate of ame,2.0
43185,lliswerryguy have a look at httpwwwgimporg its an open source photoshop clone ,0.0
43186,damitric mister if you dont read my freakin messages ,2.0
43187,lol you should think twice about letting him stay at your place it might collapse in the middle of the night  i would be sad maestro,2.0
43188,davidarchie oh good thing you arrived safely we miss you guys already here in the philippines  do comeback ,0.0
43189,starts learning nowagain ,2.0
43190,good morning  going to my last day of s,0.0
43191,hooray move up by    thewhitehattercom,0.0
43192,morning  lotsa cleaning to do today  and looking after my brother aparently hes sickbut he looks fine to me lol,0.0
43193,thepastweown youre not a twat i guess that means im the twat  i can get tweets to my phone now and the park opens at  i want rainmore,2.0
43194,rt hollygraceful sad that i wrote an introduction to pentesting aws but didnt make an introduction to pentesing azurei did its here,1.0
43195,tried  buy a pair of sneakers today mission failed too colorful ugly tacky flamboyant models there were a few good ones all  men ,2.0
43196,madmootoys no you cant beat it it was so nice just wish id been able to get actually into brighton maybe next weekend  x,2.0
43197,im spending my  birthday alone this year but how do i enjoy it its in a few months but i just dont want to be sad this year for my birthday but im alone and i think it will be difficult but not impossible i just distanced from my friends last year because they werent real friends i dont know what to do though i have my family at least and im happy about that but they keep insisting i should have a birthday party with a few people i didnt drop in my life but i simply dont want one i have feelings for being alone but also to not be alone,3.0
43198,loves getting off work at  noon on fridays  yay for fridays and weekends,0.0
43199,im the person everyone refers to when they say theres always someone worse extremely stupid embarassing myself on a daily basis with my poor iq and lack of understanding anythinglost a volunteer job because i am an idiot and kept screwing things up and everybody wanted me gonecant control my own pet dog in too much troublefinancially in a dangerous situationunable to find a single thing in life im good at and therefore enjoyforever single due to my weird nature and orientationlosing connection with family members due to my questionable moralitycannot find work that will suit my longterm heart and breathing issueno motivation to do anything anymorecannot do basic tasks i cant even lace my shoes properly,3.0
43200,retirement party pretty good got to hang with my old band directors i like them ,0.0
43201,kevinlunt  i didnt but apparently she either works there or next door i thinks she assumed i lived here and would be back,2.0
43202,taking  a  breathe  ,0.0
43203,my knee hurts ,2.0
43204,i need help im having panic attacks and i cant sleep im thinking ill just fail my family im so scared my whole body is trembling i dont want to live anymore ,3.0
43205,great and now its hailing again ,2.0
43206, thanks for your kind words ,0.0
43207,has the worst headache ever and work today yay im scared ,2.0
43208,back up and running  miss me,0.0
43209,intermediate  moderate concussionno riding   will have quotteh dumbquot for quite a few more days so beware,2.0
43210, update failed apple could not complete my itunes store request ,2.0
43211,tommcfly to the sherwood forest gig in june is ther  neway of getting vip tickets for that looked on the net but cant find nething ,2.0
43212,franknitt oh i heard that i love it he told me to listen the day ur track n his quotbees  the flowerquot dropd on new   on power ,0.0
43213, im going to bed now with my horrible tummy ache  ,2.0
43214,scoobiekisses it was so hectic and crazy  we left early i officially hate miami yuck,2.0
43215,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
43216,beckybringhurst you are soooooo way cooler ,0.0
43217,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
43218,everything should be great but it just isnt idk if anyone will actually read this so ill just keep it as short as i can basically im a college student with a pretty successful life good college good gpa full ride scholarship close friends that i really like good relationship with parents and siblings have a crush on one of the close friends and although she can cause me frustration with her being somewhat unreliable and a little misleading sometimes in my opinion shes a really good friend and i enjoy spending time with her my whole professional life is pretty much set up as long as i dont fuck anything up too badbut i feel like shit most of the time and when i dont feel like shit im just going through the motions of life waiting until i can sleep or drink or just sit and browse youtube aimlessly i dont truly enjoy really anything anymore i drink to blackout usually  times every week and drink heavily usually  times each week i have pretty consistent suicidal ideation almost everyday i dont have any plan to kill myself anytime in the near future nor do i really want to deep down but i fantasize about imagery like putting a bullet through my head or jumping off of a bridge far too often the appeal is more to stop existing since really id just rather have never been born that ships already sailed though so i here i am fantasizing about dying i just really hate myself and am just really tired of living lifeit just seems like my life is all pretty in order and should be pretty good and yet i still just want to not exist and i just hate feeling so shitty like this all the time idk i just feel like theres something wrong with me,3.0
43219,rt kellyjeaaann if anyone wants to come on and talk on my stream about mental health experiences let me know and we can have you on voice,1.0
43220,just finished the lineup for tysons game tomorrow dayne got rained out tonight  but we were dry at volleyball ,0.0
43221,i feel disconnected i have a few great friends and one best friend who i can talk to about anything but sometimes i feel like i cant ive done a lot for people and its normal to expect some kinda love in return at some point isnt it i cant always give,3.0
43222,btw eventbox is available for free on macheist for every visitors unfortunately i switched to tweetdeck  httpmacheistcom,2.0
43223,home from china amp back to work ,2.0
43224,is there any point to this if you have no followers  ,2.0
43225,currently on a train to oslo surrounded by military men i might be able to get used to this ,0.0
43226,jimmycarr writers room tunes out about  in no sound after that  fritzl was a pretty good guy then silence,2.0
43227,oops i fell asleep back to work ,0.0
43228,i just returned home  why i hade soo much fun d,2.0
43229,rayjudy thanks babe ,0.0
43230,i was wounded in my attempt to assassinate jerrymannel  spymaster,2.0
43231,congrats to fed for finally getting over the hump  and hats off to soderling for his speech total win oh and his gf is hot he wins ,0.0
43232,kamincali that is true plus you never know if you might offend the person on the other end  thats why you gotta test the waters ,0.0
43233,wow modx revolution  beta  is out starting the install right now on a windows server ,0.0
43234,  my car ,2.0
43235,listening to black eyed peas  meet me halfway   ,0.0
43236,today i feel like nothing will ever matter i want to be able to open up to someone but no one seems like they will care i just want a hug i dont want to be seen as the depressed guy i dont want to feel like i want to go so i dont have to live with the reality of no one caring about me if i didnt have this illness maybe i could get my life on track,3.0
43237,well i�m off to lern chemistrywriting a test tomorrow ,2.0
43238,when i leave twitter i am sure that ive done my part by twittering truthfully and etc ok then bye have nice night orumm day ,0.0
43239,davewalker try typing in quotchurch of englandquot and it responds  peoplequot which seems a bit high ,0.0
43240,really missing my grandparents today ,2.0
43241,blake and craig are keeping me up with their tweets and now i supremely regret not going to ionia yesterday for the  birthday bash ,2.0
43242,cannot wait to have internet again  days is a long time to not even check email ,2.0
43243,rt naomineillx seeing pictures of danek on twitter gives me actual anxiety flashbacks from her acting class,2.0
43244,tonigonzaga really  hehe  i always watch juicy cuz ur sis do well  enway  love you both ,0.0
43245,rt juventusfcen 🎙 its no good feeling anxiety because that wastes a lot of energy were in peak condition and need to stay that way,1.0
43246,brandonchilds im hardly ever busy ,0.0
43247,elle got my clean sheets covered in sand from the dog beach  icky,2.0
43248,madcoreylee lolpeeping tommy neighbor set humane traps to catch the coons in yardim glad  got awayi like seeing them around ,0.0
43249,i think this is the first time im so sad and depressed about going overseas ,2.0
43250,eating sliced fish noodles didnt tweet on my phone for a long time actuatlly  days lol miss twitter much   httptweetsg,0.0
43251,back from drama and guitar fun times ,0.0
43252, hug received ,0.0
43253,i want more from this life ive had anxiety since i was  and its best friend depression came along when i was probably  or so after being on antidepressants for a year or two ironically i stayed on the medication up until about  months ago when i weened off of it myself and started going to therapyi graduated from college and am now working at a school that i dont want to work at come the next school year but my anxiety hates change and i dont know where else i would work i dont know what i want to do with my life and thats the main battle ive been fighting with myself about and my parents i still live at home and i feel trapped but once again it comforts my anxiety all i do is go to work sometimes go to the gym and watch tv or movies at night and on the weekends im always on my phone and i know its not healthy but its the only thing i find somewhat comforting because my friends are still in college or off living their own livesim usually ok never really happy but there are times where im absolutely miserable it happened most recently during christmas time for about a week it picked back up again this morning i generally know the triggers wintercold spikes in anxiety being out of work for a few days but i hate that it keeps happening and its not like i can completely avoid it last time it just faded out when i went back to work after break therapy does help but only to a certain extent and i really just snapped out of it myself the last time im so tired of feeling this way its exhausting and i just want to be happy i know i have a lot to be grateful for but im constantly at battle with myself and im losing i think about dying a lot sometimes that it would just be easier i wouldnt have to hate myself or struggle anymore but i never wouldi know ill get through this but when is it gonna happen again will i ever be truly happy or is it just fleeting i want better for myself and im trying but i need more help,3.0
43254,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
43255, just got out of bed  about to cook breakfast kinda lazy this ambut hopefully i snap out of it ,0.0
43256,chilling bored ,0.0
43257,nkairplay thank you jaime now i can go to bed happy ,0.0
43258,rt tebotin a kguama a day keeps depression away,2.0
43259,nyone else have probs with p and l buttons on their  have to press mine like a million times ,2.0
43260,i miss my doggie  i want to see his little fluffy face again,2.0
43261, aww really soz hun    still havent heard anything    probably didnt get it either applied after you ,2.0
43262,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
43263,had a blast last night got in  and my fone is  already ringing ,2.0
43264,bhaven craignewmark i literally just got home from  wks in spain so wont be making it to bootcamp after all  sorry just too wiped,2.0
43265,it wasnt raining after poker tonight but my seat was cold and wet  yeah like thats never happened before,2.0
43266,i am searching for job ,0.0
43267,i m very happy ,0.0
43268,ive really been going through some ruff shit the last two  years  my depression is getting worse each day,2.0
43269,  but thats mine ,0.0
43270,my hannah montana hand sanitizer just leaked on my sweatshirt haha  it smells mad good tho,2.0
43271,kjbmusic  always grinding youre pretty focused t me   enjoy,0.0
43272,drinkyd raspberry tea bananas amp moltrin poor baby ,2.0
43273,stllmvngdsgn  seriously invest an hour reading the manual it will change the way you work  quicksilver,0.0
43274,rt complecs if this wasnt a word from the lord than bitch  ,2.0
43275,struggle with attraction and no positive feelings in relationship anymore i dont know anymore im in a complicated relationship and now i dont know if were just not right for each other or if my depression and anxiety and intrusive thoughts etc are the problem can a mentall illness make you lose the attraction to your so if so is it then gone forever or can this change back i only see his faults and think hes unattractive now i dont know if this is the truth a thought i kinda talked myself into or an intrusive thought  i can obsess over a lot  im also either crying or i feel numb all the time its hard for me to have positive feelings towards him im taking  lexapro at the moment so i dont know if this causes problems too  i guess its another crisis in my life ,3.0
43276,  i was just saying wassup ,2.0
43277,rt emerraald officially love twitter 💖😂 ,0.0
43278,i doubt that i am depressed but everyone seems to think so reasons for depression i dont leave my house i have a hard time maintaining friendships  im always late i dont always dress nicely  i am apathetic and so are my facial features im failing school polydrug user  maybe addictionmy rebuttal   i live in a small town full of people who i cant relate to ive decided to wait until i get out of here to make friends  all past friendships involve me listening to them rant about stupid stuff like the girl they dont like   if i find a person that o think is cool i give it a go but it has always ended because of me ghosting them  i ghost them because we have nothing in common and i just forget to text   i do however manage to be friendly to everyone  im late everywhere because i have no sense of time and havent a set sleep schedule  i love the lure of the midnight hours  i can if i really tried fix this problem  the apathy is the strongest claim for depression  i am always bored  so much that it makes me sad sometimes  i just need new stuff to happen or else i get so bored unless im alone thats when im not bored  i watch a lot of tv and google a lot of things people mistake my blank face as sad i just do not care about my surroundings  i am always thinking about something and it comes across as dreamy apathetic or sad   i am failing school because i need a lot of breaks i have poor self control so i dont do work and procrastinate my ability to concentrate also fluctuates like crazy  i can barely read a book before going down a hole of what the topic reminds me of or something completely unrelated  also  i cant read about something i dont find interesting  either i am obsessed or completely uninterested   also i generally dislike being forced to do stuff   i use drugs because i think theyre great  they take away the bored thing and allow me to do work  ive only used drugs strategically  at first i wanted to improve social anxiety speech fluidity  and writing  i did these things with the help of drugs  now i use them to focus my thoughts they work and i dont think ill ever quit them completely  although my drug use is not reckless i am not completely responsible with themoverall i think i may have addadhd not depression   but  my adhd specialist believes that i do not  i think hes wrong but its not his fault  i also am diagnosed with mdd but this was a while ago  i was a lot worst back then now its different  i just really like relaxing what do you think,3.0
43279,rt calerbahfyc have you heard anxiety by calerbahfyc on soundcloud np ,1.0
43280,slschouten i remember sleep overs so well it seems like yesterday ,0.0
43281,is seriously contemplating strangling certain staff members and not just the servers ,2.0
43282,break time gonna be off not too long now couple more hours ,0.0
43283,how do i dress sad,2.0
43284,so this is me therapy started when i was  or  it was for anger management in the beginning found out way after the fact that depression shows in young males as anger  when i was  tried to get treated under state funding but i wasnt severe enough  went back at  and they went oops we have you down as an adult  oh youre a child  definitely severe enough to get treatment  nothing works  therapy meds mindfulness exercise support   years and still dealing  i hate having a good time and being happy because i know most my life will never be close  current life  i quit my job over  months ago  i told people about me quitting and say that im on extended vacation and having a blast  yeah not so much two months to go before im broke credit getting close to being maxed  ill keep trying while screaming inside  maybe one day well benot going to say happy all the time but maybe one day we wont be depressed most of the time  yall take care and keep pushing throughdj,3.0
43285,sup guysswhat did i miss tonight anything exciting i had a terrible nightahah nah its alright spilt a medium coke right down my front ,2.0
43286,quick question does it count as a suicide attempt if you just join the army to get yourself killed in the field ,3.0
43287,terakopian yes good idea forgot about apple people will be on dpi ,0.0
43288,teemwilliams amennnn proud of u  the right thing ,0.0
43289,why is bambi being so mean ,2.0
43290,mad at life cold eaten all the xanax i have and smoked all the weed i have so i will have a seizure before i can get more late next week hopefully this one kills me had  seizures so far climbing in to bed ill check this thread tomorrow when the anxiety and depression is in full swing probably have a panic attack and then the seizure comes everyone keeps saying seizures can kill you but i keep getting addicted to xanax and then just eating them all because fuck life yet none of the seizures are killing me next one one can only hope xanax withdrawals are super fun so im looking forward to this weekend please seizure kill me  you all even ate my backup xanax incase i felt a seizure coming on so i probably wont leave the house for a week if im not dead or try to kill myself due to withdrawals dont do drugs kids they make depression worse in the long run  and i just want to die someone send me fentynal so i can take some with xanax and die in my sleep thanks to anyone that reads this been up for  hours so im sure after this many mg of xanax ill have a long sleep hopefully forever ,3.0
43291,tedx a novel ideal when is it coming to chennai  expecting kiruba to bring tedx to chennai  httpwwwtedcomtedx,0.0
43292,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
43293,suicide tw,2.0
43294,elpollolocoinc can you guys open up shop in austin tx ill be your official spokeswoman ,0.0
43295,boring shit tomorrow   hour exam and i have to be in school by eight fuck off  ,2.0
43296,selenagomez im ssrryy thats so not fun ,2.0
43297,yes only a few more hours until i get lines vines and trying times ,0.0
43298,thank god its friday lets go home in about half an hour ,0.0
43299,mikehole yeah but for me its a matter of principle   i wont read or see their advertisers links if they do stupid stuff like that,0.0
43300,finally getting help this isnt a very original post but ive been debating for a long time whether or not i should see someone and after looking at all the cuts on my arms and legs i figured it was time they asked some really uncomfortable questions over the phone but i got through it i go in friday for my appointment so im just trying to not get too anxious it feels good i guess to finally do this but any general advice would be appreciated as ive never gotten any professional help before thanks for reading,3.0
43301,  thats really weird about joe really weird and  i know all my shows are over except that one it makes me sad ,2.0
43302,watching britneyfor the record ,0.0
43303,imagine reading your child stories that reduce stress  ,2.0
43304,emtaylor how nice  here in holland the weather is perfect too ,0.0
43305,going to the park then t tooon ,0.0
43306,trying really hard to find something by audrey kawasaki or james jean that i can actually afford failing miserably ,2.0
43307,i feel so guilty hi ive had depression for pretty much half of my life im  and ive always felt so guilty because my life could be worse my parents often say i should just be thankful my life isnt as bad as some others but this just makes me feel worse i feel like an awful selfish person and the worst part is i cant seem to care anymore anyone else feel this way,3.0
43308, more days to go ,2.0
43309,pritirai i love that song cause it brings back the nineties ,0.0
43310,bijoufem haha will do but im tired around here so im off to bed ,0.0
43311,man i miss chappelle show ,2.0
43312,getting ready to go into work  imma miss that place,2.0
43313,im goin to bed and no im not happy ,2.0
43314,boobiebradshaw aw just a shot  lol what you up to today,2.0
43315,my puppys brother who lives next door has torn ligaments in his knee amp isnt allowed to run for  days its like puppy hell ,2.0
43316,at croc rockalready met the word alive theyre setting up right now this is exciting ,0.0
43317,night twatters sleep tight sorry i just sent like  messages ,0.0
43318,bradgallaway gcplay finished wow i just rescued the princess haha maybe whittaker helped your strategy kids r so smart these days ,0.0
43319,sooo much to saybut oh so tiredtomorrow ,0.0
43320,my anxiety cant deal w this im going to die,1.0
43321,phineazzphat my bad sweetie  i had some sillyness going on with my blackberry so i couldnt reply,0.0
43322,enjoying a cozy evening in the new digs its coming together nicely ,0.0
43323,im not sure if i have depression but i think i do and im ficked tbh im sorry id this offends anyone for being one of those selfdiagnose ppl but i gotta let it off somewhere ah shit i dont know what to do i get super depressed one day out of every  weeks or so and one small thing sets me over into that night being super depressed and thinking of offing myself and shit like thati want to get help but i wind up only talking to friends and dont telling myself ill do it later and never dosorry of ranting here,3.0
43324,morning sunny today aswell but stuck inside today with  teens ,2.0
43325,gioi thanks ,0.0
43326,eating a peanut butter sandwich with a hint of jelly ,0.0
43327,friedanz youre making it dont worry ,0.0
43328,my life has recently gone to shit and i can honestly only see one way out so for like the past couple of months i have been massively depressed and i really have been struggling to deal with it but in the last  weeks my life has gone to complete shit i am at school and i used to be top but recently my mental health has gone to shit meaning my grades have dropped and honestly i want to be attacked or mugged or just something like that so i can just die and it be quick i really dont know what to do and i have attempted suicide  times in the past week but ive been stopped by something and i just dont know what to do ,3.0
43329,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
43330,the tough part about depression isnt the time it takes away from you its the time you take away from yourself running away from a better tomorrow ive been struggling with depression for  years since high school  ive watched friends graduate college get married have children  meanwhile i drowned my sorrows in gaming  i picked up an mmorpg explored a world made friends and found something to get good at and then i spent thousands of hours putting distance between myself and my few good irl friends  this past month i cut myself off completely theres no way to go back and get my spot from my mmo raiding friends  getting further amp further away from friends that i really care about is no longer an acceptable solution  these past  years i havent been playing for fun  ive been playing to run away from better memories and avoid challenges  it took me a long time to build better confidence and communication skills  i wont tell you that it gets better im sure youve heard that before  what i will say is that over these past  years from age  to age  it has become more manageable  im medicated again for the first time in a decade and i was restarting therapy  ive discovered that the best thing for me to do when im feeling sad is either get up and do something or sleep  ive been isolating for most of the past  years occasionally taking classes struggling with motivation  seeing the light at the end of the tunnel feeling like i have a purpose or a plan on one hand you might think that quarantine is easy for me and it is  i wake up clean up eat breakfast showershave cleanup read or mess around until noon have lunch take the dog for a walk or go for a jog study math from  or  and then work out at   then pass the time until i feel comfortable enough to sleep  the only thing hard about quarantine is that i was beginning to like going out again  ive stolen so much time from myself and have only become further n further away from friends that i care about  rather than the depression being this profound dark soulwrenching loneliness its the thought of not being able to make memories with friends i care about that hurts the most  im desperate for new experiences but stuck within the confines of my mind amp productivity  it isnt as if i dont have projects classes or things that im working on but ive been spending the last  years living a life that wasnt a life brief glimpses of what a life should look like  im changing myself slowly but at the same time everything still  long ways off,3.0
43331,rt factsofschool school hasnt even started yet but my stress has,1.0
43332,heading to the gym ,0.0
43333,mckennaxscream yup but i got a grad arty today but i dont think we are stayin long so i might be able to do som afterwards ,0.0
43334,mattledford pffft with mikeober on your side you will have fun just tell him you want to go find nemo  is it time for boston yet,0.0
43335,awake for like a split second  hungover for like forever and a day ,2.0
43336,halldavid found just the thing to help you take good care of macbook  httpwwwapplesaccommorninggloryhtml ,0.0
43337,i want to get better but whenever i get try and keep my head up it feels like im missing something i really want to get better and i know its possible but whenever i have an option to step in the right direction i just think about how im leaving something behind for example when i wake up in the morning ill tell myself todays gonna be a better day and i truly want it to be but i feel like theres something im avoiding by trying to get better almost like im missing a step in healing can anyone relate please tell me some similar situations youve been in,3.0
43338,rt anupamuncl arvindkejriwal facts or regulations ke adhar par baat karna sad ji ki dictionary me nahi hai  alana  falana or dhimkaana,2.0
43339,anyone else think theyre gonna fuck up even after they do something successfully today i woke up and i was laying in bed thinking im gonna be late for class flash forward to me being in class on time mind you and i still had this lingering feeling i was going to be late for class ,3.0
43340,wonders why her karma points turned into   ,2.0
43341,shawnieora youve got mail  this one is important  and its  can you take a guess,0.0
43342,hi everyone ,0.0
43343,ever since i became depressed even the slightest bit of effort has been too hard for me i was a bright kid i started reading at the age of two and people loved to tell me how smart i was but around fifth grade things started to change putting in the effort required to maintain friendships and do schoolwork was hard and it only got worse from there by high school i was nearly friendless and barely scraping by in all my classes  i only graduated because of a special ed program and a teacher i owe my life topresent day im  and a college dropout with no sense of purpose or ability to do anything really my parents enable my behavior by letting me play video games all day and supporting me like the dumb leech that i am i feel like itd be super easy to get out of this rut if i only put in a little effort but it seems impossible i could work on a resume learn to code do anything that could help me succeed in life but i deem it too much work and never try or try for a brief while and give up because its too hard or doesnt provide the serotonindopamine boost i so desperately cravei dont know if im lazy or just severely depressed everything feels hopeless and pointless and although i dont want to kill myself i definitely want to die i just want to have a normal brain that works right so i can see if that would change things for me but ive been on meds for almost ten years and been going to therapy for longer and nothing seems to work as time goes on im just digging myself a deeper hole and i hate itthis post is all over the place i just needed to get these words out,3.0
43344,marieawilliams hey you  great to see you on here  how are you  ages since we chatted ,0.0
43345,docforestal s little rescue wren is starting to look pretty good    ,0.0
43346,considering medical withdrawal from college i feel like such a failure right now since my mental health has gotten so horrific the semester for me has barely started and im seriously considering a medical withdrawal but my parents want me to tough it out but i dont think i can at all i cant focus and cant sleep and just stare at the wall for  hours at night and can barely write anymore to do my school work i feel like ive gotten stupider over timehas anyone else taken time off from college and then returned later due to depressionsuicidal thoughts i cant do school right now,3.0
43347,genevievejooste yay i cant wait for both the celebrations ,0.0
43348,iraisavampire bob called me a twit ,2.0
43349,i have too much anxiety for now,2.0
43350,regulations kill growth ,2.0
43351,grrrr wish i could go to sunfest to see david cook  im bummed now ,2.0
43352,bone apple feet crippling depression,2.0
43353,have to get up early and finish studying for finalssad  ttyl,2.0
43354,what ive learned about managing anxiety  anxiety depression mentalhealth  pnd ,2.0
43355,proven products designed to increase your energy and focus reduce your stress definitely check them out ,2.0
43356,just ran out of smarties ,2.0
43357, no probs kazz huni think theres a new one going on now celebrity twitterer or summat lol dunnoi just voted misha anyways ,0.0
43358,putting together my religion exam cheat sheet   i really dont wanna do it ,2.0
43359,making my speech outline for a speech on ictri and invisible children this is going to be an amazing speech to give ,0.0
43360,rachaelxxx aha could you send me songs i cant get the cd for like two weeks ,2.0
43361,ladycockroach omg i love your new haircut  its proper sexy i want mine like that ,0.0
43362,marcusjcarey few years back you say its even hotter around here now haha ,0.0
43363,i just dont wanna try anymore you know i really dont feel like doing anything i dont even wanna try anymore i just wanna lay here and just sleep and do nothing which really just makes me a burden to everybody i feel like i have nothing to look forward to so i start to not care anymore life is just gonna be boring and depressing why do i have to live for other people,3.0
43364,msgeli good morning ,0.0
43365,i fucked up my entire life i wish i never did anything to try to be happier i lost everything in the process just done life is done i had a wife and kid and blew it because i thought i could find happiness and love no not for me i cant do it i literally suck the life out of everyone i know there is no point anymore i lost everything i am the greatest fuck up in the world i dont blame you if i met me id hate me too ,3.0
43366,eddieifft kick ass man  youre huge in melborne ,0.0
43367,dangit how do i remove some people im following and how do i delete all these commentsthe help desk is not very helpful ,2.0
43368,evertonupdates not surprised ah well ,2.0
43369,after hearing this i am praying that ddlovato gets some help and that she will be okay drugs and mental health are ,0.0
43370,i came home to a sad news about teyungs family oh my god my deepest condolences to them 😢💜,2.0
43371,watching icarly ,0.0
43372,silvertales i still want cookies  hugs,0.0
43373,badastronomer how do i listen live to skeptically speaking i cant find the link ,2.0
43374,deadlyne awwww  and yeah i just listened to that song and it is dead onlol,0.0
43375,hate being so lonely shit sucks new decade same me dont think this will ever end,3.0
43376,everyone knows that im depressed and its kinda funny as title says everybody at my school knows that i am seriously and dangerously depressedno seriously everyone besides maybe the principal or a few office workers i have literally been given nicknames by teachers about how depressed i amwhen people talk to me they often comment on how depressed i seem i dont even hide my shit anymorehonestly i find it funny ive gotten past the point of caringis this experience common,3.0
43377,quipsandtips i love it were absolutely going to do that you can never have too many birthday celebrations ,0.0
43378,spouse just started on antidepressants and it sucks please provide some guidance my wife was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety following months of my pleading for her to consult a psychologist she has been prescribed the following mornings evenings whilst i know her struggles prior to medication were very real to her she would put up a front of all being ok she would be active helpful around the house and the person i fell in love with having gone on to the meds she has totally withdrawn become reclusive numb lacks any interest in either myself our  children   amp  herself or our home she will either sleep most of the day or watch tv it is selfish of me to say it but pre med wife was awesome compared to the slouch in the house now ultimately the question is will she stay this way indefinitely whilst medicating or will she adjust to the medication and come aroundim in it for the long haul so i just want to understand what may lie ahead and try to prepare myself  or assist her where i can,3.0
43379,broken leg has me down hi my names matt and i broke my femur and messed up my eye this january in a car accident i was on my way to work and a lady pulled out in front of us and just stopped ive been stuck at home ever since and its just starting to get to me i miss meeting new people and going out with my friends on top of everything else ive gottem really self concious about my eye i can still see fine but theres a huge scar ,3.0
43380,but now i cant sleep ,2.0
43381,ammiisaurusrexx hahahaha her revenge is gunna be hilario  just imagine her walking into a shop to buy condoms xd,0.0
43382,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
43383,it seems that hubby is having technical difficulties so im back for now ,0.0
43384,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
43385, �� why not today huh huh huh ,2.0
43386,i fucking overthink everything if i just thought fucking normally i could get the motivation to fucking get my life in gear but no as soon as i start fucking think about anything meaningful my brain just fucks me over fuck this if i cant get help im gonna kill myself,3.0
43387,watching deramaaa unfold on the hills right now ,0.0
43388,i need to wash my hairrrr but i dont wanna ,2.0
43389,vincesapplemac aw shes beautiful someday when i have a backyard for a dog to run around in id love to rescue one ,0.0
43390,im struggling im  now but most of my life ive been depressed i was never really happy with myself and cared too much what other people thought the way ive healed my depression in the past was to find validation in someone else ive been in two long term relationships since i was  that just fell into my lap the last one lasted  years and they were honestly the happiest years of my life it inevitably ended though because i projected all of my demons onto her in ways that werent always apparent to me i was about to propose so this sent me into a downward spiral  months after the breakup and more than  days of no contact im lying in bed not wanting to get up and start the day i keep having the most vivid dreams of her with her new boyfriend and it kills me inside i had a dream last night that i put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger but it still didnt end my suffering its even worse on the weekends because at least of the weekdays i have work to look forward to i know people say to take it day by day but its easier said than done what i want in life is to settle down with a woman and have that love ive always longed for but i know my depression will always be a problem unless i do something about it now i want to be a better person i want to wake up in the morning with a smile i dont know what to do from here but i have to keep fighting ,3.0
43391,anyone else worry about climate change lately ive been seeing a lot about climate change especially here on reddit it all sounds like its make it or break it time but nothing is happening theres a few protests and some people recycle and such but these feel like a few drops in a big bucket and you hear how big companies lobby to deny the issues and get away with it its hard to stay motivated when it seems like there wont be a future for anyone its hard enough to get through a normal day with depression let alone plan for a dismal future how do you all cope with this kind of stuff,3.0
43392,happy june to everyone ,0.0
43393,my head hurts ,2.0
43394,hdidichd title doesnt deserve a name ive made this post so much i cant think of one ive probably made a hundred rants cant keep track of it one way i stay stable is being able to believe im more important than anyone on earth anyone in existence maybe  most important person but definitely top  when i think im above everyone i think theirs hope that if i fall asleep i wont wake up that one day my guardian angel will come for me and fly away with me as we escape from this world are we forced to do everything forced to exist forced to be born we dont really have a choice in anything we do i think anxiety is worse than depression or maybe my anxiety has just been high recently i always thought anxiety was this no so serious thing that i had but didnt care much about but god its gotten worse than my depression i wanna turn into kaneki and be awakened i wanna have my own tragedy its better than just suffering forever he was able to over come his tragedy will i be able to overcome mine the only way im escaping this tragedy is if i remember who i was and escape however thats what gives me the most anxiety its a catch  why cant they just magically return to me why do i have to try im racing against mara to find out who i was and finally escape this world and if that doesnt work i will kill myself theirs  choices i have to continue suffering to figure out who i was an escape or to kill myself and either reset or be dead forever or maybe be reborn and it wont be another tragedy lol i wish i could just say screw this world and my secret power awakens and im as strong as kaneki and can fight this world my hair turns white and im no longer scared of torture pain sadness etc but thats realistic and everything is unrealistic,3.0
43395,songzyuuup trey trey tsmb on deck im gonna have a radio show amp i want u to do a call in interview pwease  me ,0.0
43396,fell asleep cor blimey i feel like a pair of smelly pants now ,2.0
43397,why is this rehearsal schedule so epic tired sleep in tomorrow not going to get home more than once these holidays ,2.0
43398,rt suesantini the fact that george zimmerman is still walking peacefully today is sad asf,1.0
43399,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
43400,niclaslevin good luck yourself from what i hear you might need it ,0.0
43401,planning a date for a mom and daughters weekend w my mom obviously ,0.0
43402,crap muscle pain ,2.0
43403,necolebitchie dang that sucks gurl ,2.0
43404, im having a super depressed day for the first time in a while and im just feeling grateful for it right now because at least im not feeling anxious out of my fucking mind like every single other day,3.0
43405,got an a in my exam delighted now i have to study for the rest of them ,2.0
43406,i  legacy enterprise software via readystate ditto  especially locked down crippled runtimes ,2.0
43407,demziuk terrible back to work and report writing for me so its even worse  ,2.0
43408,is it worth telling anyone is it really worth telling someone in college or would i just be better letting it engulf me i dont think i can really tell anyone im too scared im sorry,3.0
43409,teeeeeef really  i totally dont like it spelled with a u  it feels like im in jr high again  im totally a comer  ,2.0
43410,any of you ever feel ok while exhibiting signs of depression and then feel more notably bad while youre otherwise holding it together this isnt a concrete trend or anything but ive realised that often in times where im showing signs of depression such as losing grip on taking care of myself or living healthily or being very lazy i feel generally okay but often when im actually feeling emotionally low or unstable are the times where i am otherwise keeping everything else together those are the times where i keep on top of myself my jobs and even mess with the creativei know depression can just be a supression of motivation and an emotional greyness and isnt neccessarily a state of a deep sadness but i just find it odd how okay i feel during that haze and how at my apparently most functional is when suddenly my emotional state falls into disaray id have expected it would have been the other way aroundanyone else get this i know it could be somethings other than depression,3.0
43411,ok so they forgot the cinnamon so put my own on amp now theres a big well small black spot floating on it  cancercoffee,2.0
43412,medypuff  omg major non studying going on here no self control what so ever ,2.0
43413,rt dubsteppenwolf well this is unbelievably sad and fucked up and totally unsurprising ,2.0
43414,i have a nasty cold  i think im going to finland in a while alko here i come nearest is in kolari about  min from pajalasweden,2.0
43415,chregu sweet ill be there next thuesday to install it on the new machine ,0.0
43416,bertadp are you staying home after lunch i think i have to be to your place at  hope i see ya ,0.0
43417,bunnies want to stay outside on the grass  i feel mean taking them inside for the night  silly brandy bunny ,2.0
43418,i hate goodbye days   its the worst thing that exists but i guess ill see them around though,2.0
43419,ahhhh a proper thunderstorm on the road back to leicester i think were driving into it awesome ,0.0
43420, whos all there i wanna go ,2.0
43421,ijustine mashable i really like how trending topics is now a trending topic ,0.0
43422,cajunmama huge glass  i want a set of those ,0.0
43423,that was supposed to be quotwerequot awesomegeez i only had  ,0.0
43424,so i went to the movies today it was a total chaos everyone got crazy about the transformers movie i got no tix   bah ill wait,2.0
43425,freshfranchize ill let you know if its awesome or not ,0.0
43426,  i have to compile these information and summarize them into reports by tomorrow at  pm  ilovemyjob  ,2.0
43427,writing a suicide letter ive had some trauma in my past some events ive told people about some i havent ive decided how im going to kill myself and i have an idea when i began writing a suicide letter but i dont know how to tie up loose ends without making it long and making it seem like it was those peoples fault that i killed myself i chose this because of multiple reasons but i chose so i guess my question which is very broad how to tell someone i love them it wasnt their fault and why i did it,3.0
43428,good morning twitter landso i didnt have enough sleep dang n were not done with the cupcakes ,2.0
43429,important hotlinessafe harbor  crisis line  or depression hotline  ,1.0
43430,just set my alarm and realized that its going to go off in less than  hours ,2.0
43431,rt soulstaece when taes grandmother passed away he was in philippines but now hes grandfather died hes not in korea i feel so sad,1.0
43432,how do i get a diagnosis ive been feeling depressed i dont want to elaborate too much but im too young to drive and i want to go to a doctor i dont want to tell my parents yet is there any way i can get support this just started and i can feel it getting worse i dont want it to get worse so i feel i should try to catch this early,3.0
43433,starlingpoet hello  yes believe it or not were right on time for planting in our location ,0.0
43434,luigithescooter no go on the battery at the moment speedy is not happy having to stay in the garage this weekend ,2.0
43435,mitodotunada cygarrillo jajajajajajajaja sad but true,2.0
43436,kimjarrett yes mam i try to at least once a week because if i go out sat night church usually doesnt see me on sunday ,2.0
43437,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
43438,waynealgoafm damn i miss u too  when u coming or why dont we meet in durbs one wend,2.0
43439,is once again disappointed wla nnmn si xtine sa bs  httpplurkcompywqig,2.0
43440,i miss childhood me i used to be such an open child id talk to everyone always had something to say always did stupid things just to try evoke some laughter i dont know what happened or when it happened but i started becoming really self conscious and found it really difficult to make new friends or even hold conversations with the people i already knew now im  years old completely alone and desperate enough for a conversation that im going to the gas station just to hear a voice i dont know if this makes sense but i just wanna let my soul walk away from me and just let my body coast until its over my soul doesnt deserve this,3.0
43441,worms  wont work on xp mode in windows  ,2.0
43442,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
43443,fido not supporting tethering booooo ,2.0
43444,people are gheyyyyyy  except jing,0.0
43445,the samsung  omnia hd is amazing great quality pity there is no us  on board ,2.0
43446,oatmeal  day  anyway i already miss my sister ,2.0
43447,charlotteanimo you coming tonight ,0.0
43448,still depressed still drawinggot a lot better at the drawing bit httpsimgurcomajancd seriously look at that last portrait and tell me thats not dope af still want to  kill myself though it is kind of weird to know that i am irreversibly better at drawing none of the people really look like the people i was drawing  i still have a long way to go  but it is neat to see how far i have already progressed  i dont really have anyone that i want to show if you like any of them i will be happy ,3.0
43449,whats the point of continuing when nothing matters and were all going to die anyways  im not enjoying this place at all  my life isnt that bad but i have clinically confirmed depression that i cant get out of despite help from therapy  medications  weed you name it  i stay alive because i dont want to make my family depressed but honestly i care less and less about that everyday,3.0
43450,so goddamn sad right now hello all reddit i suffer from anxiety and depression and its been ongoing for the past  months ive had a on and off relationship that has killed me inside and i dont know what to do anymore i feel like i have nobody to help me out and everyone i talk to is like they arent being honest i really wanna be happy again but my mind is so stressed out not even weed can cope with how bad its been i havent been able to eat or sleep this entire week and im tired in school and therefore my grades arent that impressive i used to be different but that was a long time ago like a year i just cant cope with how alone and empty i feel some days what do i even fucking do ive talked with my good friend and my mom but it still doesnt help its like nobody is there for me when im at my worst and everything is falling apart thanks in advance i appreciate any advice ,3.0
43451,is wishin i were goin with hannah kelly amp matt  the swim club  but noooooi have nonfun things  get done  ,2.0
43452,ok not that i am loved  but this will be the last time for a while i can log in unless i get internet signal on my phone so tata ,0.0
43453,please help me i dont know whats wrong with me i live a pretty average life but i feel like i should be striving for more if i dont read at least  news articles a day i feel like a failure if i dont exercise i feel like a failure if i dont do my day to day chores i feel like a failure i should be everywhere at once,3.0
43454,a little letter to my family you dont understand why i stopped being a lawyer and became a writer you dont understand why i want to move abroad and left the city i always wanted to live in you dont understand any of my choices i understand you you want me to be safe what you dont know im fighting depression and suicidal thoughts i need to be happy i know i should already know how to be happy being  years old but i dont some days i even dont know who i am who i really am i am only surviving i wish you could understand how i am feeling ,3.0
43455,afraid to falling into depression again ive been diagnosed with clinical depression in two different times in my life ive been felling ok in the last few years but today i broke up with my boyfriend that i still love it was a decision based on incompatibilities about our needs i believe it was the right decision but now i feel so sad i cant stop crying i dont want to wake up tomorrow and remember that this happened how do i deal with the lost of this person that was so important in my life i feel like i lost a part of me im scared dont know if im strong enough what if i drown in this,3.0
43456,merutherford aw lol im good thankyou ,0.0
43457,good start for tday  so happy i dont remember the last time i was this happy mornin tweople,0.0
43458,overwhelmed feeling so overwhelmed and lonely even though everything is where i want it to be any one else  ,3.0
43459,morriscat morris  check yer email hope that is all clear and ok  pussycatisland,0.0
43460,tyraslilsis oh iighti see twitter is making that hard to do lol ,0.0
43461,would like to go to sleep but i dont see that happening for a while ,2.0
43462,rt hayleyyjay kosondeck cinnabonpapii listen sad bunny unless youre going to be pulling my hair and smacking my ass i dont want to ta,1.0
43463,the thought nobody would care whats sad is the realization that if you die nobody would care and theyd just shrug their shoulders and go on with life saying what a shame if anything literally nobody cares ,3.0
43464,i gave up and bit it s gone now ,2.0
43465,are we social creatures i have recently read lost connections by johan hari it is a great read he describes in it that a massive part of the reason why depression is becoming more common is because we arent community focused anymore and we dont support each other as human beings other treatments reccomend talking and support it is all great advice what i am finding though is i love being by myself im home alone right now and feel good and motivated im a little ocd and being by myself means i dont have to clean up after anyone and i can have things they way i like it i can eat salad with smart remarks from anyone and do odd excercises in my home gym without any raised eyebrows i love my family and partner i also love some time completely alone thoughts ,3.0
43466,gendalia ooh jealous  water  boat lighthouse  wish i were there ,2.0
43467,ianmcnaughton cool i just wish my server could use them  im on a  dual socket ,2.0
43468,i dont know hi im  this year and have personally felt that ive been suffering from depression for about a year now it started off quite small like a small hole in my chest and i thought nothing much slowly as days and months went by it grew bigger and bigger i thought maybe when my internship starts itll all just go away but boy was i wrong it became so bad that i had random breakdowns and panic attacks in the kitchen i work in the fampb industry as a result i was pulled back from my internship and stayed in school to do some general work ive only went for a checkup once when i was told that my case was serious and got a referral letter to the aampe my next checkup will be on the  of march and hopefully its the checkup that theyll diagnose me these past  days i havent really felt so down or depressed and it scared me cause i wasnt used to not feeling down or depressed is it normal,3.0
43469,thatkidrich wasnt open  mediterranean though quite good for late night,2.0
43470,sucking on lemon isnt good for your teeth cause of the acidity i love lemons and limes ,2.0
43471,vuhnessuh vanessa you should send me i cant do the one two step i cant find it online ,2.0
43472,is a little sad that jeremy sold his truck that we used for going to the drivein ,2.0
43473,just realized how ridiculous it is to feel guilty about having depression i feel guilty for having depression because my mother has told me before you have hurt all of us referring to my depressioni had an ex girlfriend blame me for my depressionive had an instance where two insensitive friendroommates of mine asked me to open up about my depression when i was isolatingonly to move out without telling me my brother told me i could be a burdenall these messages throughout my lifehas made me feel so guilty about my illnessof course i should still be held accountable for my actions and behaviorbut when it comes to a disease i have no control over i believe its pretty fucked up to blame someone for their mental illnessim done feeling guilty or feeling like i did something wrong because i was born with a miswired mind i dont choose to be depressedthis is a reminder to you all who feel guilty for having a mental illness it is not your fault it is hard enough just trying to navigate through life with the sicknesslet go of the extra weight of guilt and shame you dont need it love you allhttpsscreeningmentalhealthamericanetcontentifeelguiltyaboutbeingdepressed,3.0
43474, thanks babe ,0.0
43475,missesgola ach quatsch ich bin der krankeste esser  aber i am lovin it   the movie is boringseen it  times,0.0
43476,stfu and mind your business cuz 😭,2.0
43477,is awake  woke up a half  though ,0.0
43478,datgurlulove well both yall asses duffed me yesterday ,2.0
43479,hanging out with my besti megaaan ,0.0
43480,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
43481,feeling better i dont think so better get some sleep and hope tomorrow is gonna be a better day ,0.0
43482,rustyrockets i would never beat you up  i love u too much will u have my babies can we get married where do u live hahha,0.0
43483,k so im um now im goin back to sleep i feel tired but i dont i feel weak but im not i feel sad that i am  dodo now so is my baby boy,2.0
43484, you might have surprised yourself i did  up for meeting for lunchor din,0.0
43485,my  year old dog is probably gonna die my best friend is probably gonna die tonight or tomorrowi keep crying and feel like its all my fault its all my doingits all mebut we dont know the future we dont know if hes gonna diei hope he will be alive and energetic when i go downstairs to see him tomorrow morningi wanted to sleep with him tonight so he could feel comfortable and warm but my dad says no wash your hands let him be for tonightwe dont have dog medications no vets or vet shops in this town its been that way for a long timei wish i could teleport to get some meds to save my best friend but i cantmy only solutions is water and food and comfort and love and pettingi thought i was ready,3.0
43486,i hate trying on clothes trying to work out what to wear  dunno whether to go with trousers or skirt,2.0
43487,i am suddenly sad sigh,2.0
43488,everything is going downhill and ive started smoking again its been  years since ive had smoked an actual cigarette i stopped smoking a few years back when things mellowed down and vaped instead but life has been really tough lately and i needed something to keep me sane again,3.0
43489,i mean this isnt even in relation to strangers but friends the former i can justify by social anxiety butwhat dyou mean ur afraid of,1.0
43490,  just hanging with my sis ,0.0
43491,just got out of shower taking a nap head still hurts ,2.0
43492,dog locked in car opposite me very bored not much space poor sod  ,2.0
43493,rt mtnmoxiegirl gratitude eliminates fear worry grief and depression and brings happiness clarity  compassion and peace of mind,1.0
43494,to my favorite boys stress reliever and my source happiness weareoneexo love you always babies through ups and httpstcogulhgqbvtt,0.0
43495, mellomatic no cake because of my cold  plenty of tea with honey though  ♫ ,2.0
43496,drduran good man next time ,0.0
43497,with my boyfriend by the pool ,0.0
43498,big ass fkn unknown specimen bugg just killed all the sleepy time outta me for a minute too many trees out here but i like trees ,2.0
43499,hygiene made a plan to shower tonight for the first time an almost  weeks and get off my ass and go back to work wish me luck,3.0
43500,anambanana thanks i just saw you guys pass by awesoome ,0.0
43501,any oahu peoples coming hilo hit me up im in need a coco puffs from liliha bakery ill pay yall  it  ,0.0
43502,  the best picture i could get of the sunset doesnt do it justice ,2.0
43503,sitting at work crying i hate my job but i have to do it to have income for my baby boy hes the only reason why i have the willpower to come to work everyday every day this week i end up crying at my desk or crying somewhere else so no one would see me this is just terrible,3.0
43504,happy hoppusday ,0.0
43505,vincenthranica me too ,2.0
43506,temptingmama so sorry to hear that what a drag ,2.0
43507, min  sec is what i took to finish the open  on sunday  placed    ,0.0
43508,stwainer heat pump amp wood burning fireplace ac for summer cooling no ondemand  heating which i wanted more than anything ,2.0
43509,rt thetoddschulte punchline he says its sad to hear kids cry but he stands by what they did and look thats the deal here everyone wh,1.0
43510,just cleaned out my closet it took forever and its still full ,2.0
43511,today felt productive i moved i babysat and made  i hung out with my parents good day ,0.0
43512,is next wed pm ok for your call wchris patti said between  was best and was going to confirm this morning ,2.0
43513,anxiety has finally hit me like a truck full of concrete blocks i dont know if i can do this on my own,0.0
43514,amandabyoung  im swooning over the mail you sent me thanks for the samples they look fabulous ,0.0
43515, degree weather and im going to class ,2.0
43516,preparing the new layout of the website ,0.0
43517,laying in bed and twitteringhopefully no  catches me ,0.0
43518, wow that was totally not necessary  totally bum  and all i do is love you,2.0
43519,tommcfly hello tom ,0.0
43520,a long story if you have the time let me tell you about a kid i grew up with lets call him smiley now i remember smiley being a happy kid liked ninja turtles and batman pizza on his birthday and just having fun being a kid but smiley had problems or rather his daddy had problems you see his dad was angry really angry i have no idea why he was so mad but smileys family always knew when he was smileys daddy also liked to drink a lot and when his daddy would drink hed get really angry and then people would get hurt smiley knew this was going on and it scared him i dont know when it all started but i do know that he was only  or  when he came into the living room after hearing a commotion to find his mommy bruised and bloodied laying motionless on the floor and his daddy standing over her smiley tried to help her he never got hit but he was thrown across the room next his big brother stepped in and smiley watched his dad punch and kick his brother down the hallway things like this happened a lot but this time has always stuck with him the most he definitely never tried to step in again the abuse went on like this for a few years occasionally they would go on camping trips without dad to get a few days of peace things would be different for a short time after returning but his dad would always find a reason to get mad eventually smiley never got hit well at least never closed fist hit hed get the belt if he got out of line though he was so little at the time but he knew it was only a matter of time he was so scared and he just wanted to feel safe so he made up a little game i call it mouse he started pretending that he was a mouse and there were rules that had to be followed at all times  dont be seen if hes never seen or noticed daddy might not hurt him  never ask for anything if you do dad might get mad because dad doesnt like spending money  never complain or argue or really make any sound because you dont want to be noticed being seen or noticed is bad smiley got good at the game really good he spent as much time as he possibly could in his room door open of course his daddy didnt like closed doors or secrets he had a bookshelf just stacked high with all kinds of adventures he could go on thats almost all he ever did he hid away and felt safer eventually smileys mom and dad got divorced and no one had to be scared anymore i was so relieved finally a chance for smiley to have a normal childhood smiley safe now thought everything was ok he knew that his brother and sister and his mom were doing bad because of everything that happened to them but he thought that since he was never really beaten he wasnt affected by it you see smiley didnt know until years later what his sister was going through and now his mom was so focused on getting smileys brother and sister the help they needed and smiley never really showed immediately obvious signs of trauma that he kind of got missed on getting a chance to deal with everything he continued business as usual he made friends at school it just took a while to feel comfortable around people he never really felt comfortable being alone with people especially men but that seemed normal you know stranger danger and such in high school he even managed a serious girlfriend i thought he was doing pretty well he attended a local college and met his future wife they hit it off right away over the course of  years they dated moved in together and started working on a family  kids a dog and a mortgage they were living the american dream it was always tough socializing and fully loving and trusting another person and such but it was most definitely worth the effort things felt like everything was going to be ok but things werent really ok he couldnt see it at the time but he was still playing mouse hed built his entire life around it see he had crafted what he thought was a perfect solution to the problem he was facing at a very young age and he didnt realize that he was continuing to live like that as he grew up honestly he had no clue how much his life was based around being afraid he avoids uncomfortable conversations at all cost because he doesnt want to make anyone angry he hasnt really had any friends since graduating hes always felt like the third wheel anyway so when he didnt see friends for a few days he assumed the stopped wanting to be friends also smiley feels sad a lot he knows what depression is but he never really felt like he had a reason to feel sad so it must be something else he was on medication for a short time but he felt like a fake or something that he had no reason to feel sad and he is just being a baby also he absolutely hated how the medicine made him feel so he stopped taking it he learned to embrace his sadness it became just another part of who he was he lived in it he would make a point to replay every bad thing he could think of to make himself feel worse because somehow it felt good comfortable even it made him feel better to be sad because no one could ever take that away no matter what happend he knew that he still had that he finally had control over his emotions or so he thought do you know what happens when someone who feels like everyone is out to get him and that he somehow deserves it realizes that the one thing in his life he was sure of the only thing he felt he could always count on isnt what he thought it was i bet a lot of you do actually he took it hard he always felt like he didnt have very far to fall but he was oh so wrong he learned just how much further he could fall the woman with whom hed spent the last  years the love of his life the woman he imagined growing old surrounded by grandchildren with had an affair eapa in fact it had been going on for about a year and shes in love with him she said smileys emotionally distant that he doesnt show his feelings that she doesnt feel loved by him its almost certainly true not that he doesnt love her but that hes just been really bad at showing it its been a year since dday he feels very alone now he feels more sadness than ever before he tells me it hurts in the most horribly wonderful ways but its not all bad right this has forced him to look at himself in ways he never has before he seems to want to gain control of his life maybe this is what he needed to get real control over his life i just feel really bad for him ive suggested repeatedly that he get into counseling but as of yet he hasnt i hope he knows that there is someone who cares about him im just really relieved this is all happening to him and not me i dont think im strong enough to handle it all 😊,3.0
43521,go on follow me its my birthday lol ,0.0
43522,mattimago oh god i hope the porn followers wasnt cos of me gulp ,0.0
43523,wingedchild is laughing at you who are still at school ,0.0
43524,dieting  and sick of it,2.0
43525,crying my eyes out neva will be loved considering a home bleach job to turn myself blonde bo hoo  ,2.0
43526,but i shouldnt complain i have recently fallen into the worst depression that ive ever experienced in my lifebut hey things could be worse so i shouldnt complain right thats one of the issues im struggling with of course i know things could be worse i have a secured income people who love me and allinall what many would consider a satisfying life however despite counting my blessings i cant seem to overcome the depressing emotions of dissatisfaction for where i am i am in a job where i did not get a choice in what i do i am conscripted to this specific field of work for at least the next few years of my future is it a good job yeah its a job that i would have killed for when i was younger but as i experienced some different things in life i decided that its not what im passionate about the job i am insanely passionate about was pulled out from under me very suddenly and unexpectedly i was trained specifically for the job i was passionate about and at the very last moment was told that i would not be doing that instead i would be doing this other jobmy coworkers all chose this job and its the job theyre passionate about as i said its not a bad job so its not like i can open speak my feelings with them about how much i hate it theyre so excited and pleased with something that i absolutely cannot stand and it contributes even further to my depression that i cant find the happiness and excitement that they do all of this is to say that i wonder if theres other people out there dealing with a similar situation stuck in an environment of isolated discontent and depression how do you cheer yourself up how do you convince yourself that you still need to work hard and be good at something you find so depressingseeking professional help is not an option as that would lead to the termination of my job which i cant afford additionally i do not have thoughts or tendencies towards selfharm nor the harm of otherstldr i have a job that makes me depressed i cant leave the job and i need help finding a way to deal with the depression,3.0
43527,xdannyryan thanks ill be okay ,0.0
43528,congrats  ill bring bottleslet me know when ,0.0
43529,emiliodelgado i miss you so much ,2.0
43530,its starting to rain in seattle ,2.0
43531,test in half an hour argh  x,2.0
43532,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
43533,all the lucky people in the us get to see the new moon trailer in a mere few minutes i like the rest of the world shall have to wait ,2.0
43534,i dont know what to do nothing makes sense anymore even when im laughing with friends and family i just have this horrible feeling all the time theres so many things going on at once and i feel like its just all piling on i keep thinking that if i were to talk about people would think im just reaching or trying to get sympathy ive lost the motivation to do my uni work to the point where i leave everything last minute so more stress is piling on ive sat in lectures hiding my face because i didnt want anyone seeing me cry my general health is falling to bits i cant sleep anymore i barely make the effort to eat i just want to be alone all the time and just not talk to anyone my social life is suffering with my uni friends and i keep thinking what if they hate me for not wanting to go out with them ive been feeling a bit like this since before moving out to uni which is two and a half hours away from where i live id stay to myself at home upstairs and not talk to anyone but i feel like its been escalated since then i was so excited for uni but now everyday i think maybe i shouldve taken a gap year maybe i shouldve stayed local maybe i shouldve chosen a different career path i know i enjoy my course but maybe im not cut out for it ive never talked about my true feelings to anyone and i feel like im lying to my friends and family  ive made subtle comments like i think im depressed but i feel like its been brushed off this is the first time ive let my feelings out like this so it makes me feel a bit better for short term,3.0
43535,i miss zack i miss him  can june  please come faster,2.0
43536,getting ready for a fun night out since the boyfriend didnt come into town ,0.0
43537,robotpickuplines quotyou know baby real men dont have floppy disksquot  ,0.0
43538,as usual im really enjoying radio paradise  httpwwwradioparadisecomindexphp  even when they play the scorpions ,0.0
43539,jayknox is not following me i am overly overly distraught   ,2.0
43540,andyqsmith i saw thats such a bummer hubby now watching rugby so i dont know what going on ,2.0
43541,followmernbe i hear you man i feel the same way about sweet home alabama have a great night ,0.0
43542,ಲೈವ್​ ವಿಡಿಯೋ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು ವಿಷ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಆತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಗೆ ಶರಣಾದ ಯುವಕpoisoning suicide livevideo youngman police ,2.0
43543,rt localpressco mumbailocal  commuters rpf foil distressed mans suicide attempt at kurla station ridlrmum mumbairailusers https,2.0
43544,on the verge cant do this i fucked up i had one person i could always rely on he now doesnt want to talk to me he made me promise i wouldnt cut ever again and ive been clean for almost two yearsbut when i promised that i made him promise he wouldnt leave me alone when im breaking down im breaking down and have no one to turn to i cant do this anymore i want to give up the future i had started to plan is slowly fading from my head im lost ive lost it won,3.0
43545,vote vote votehttptweeterwallmallplacecomtwworldwidecelebritytwitterer we need to catch up  davidarchie,0.0
43546,karlmageddon right  will be bringing out the champers and caviar in a bit ok well i would if i had any on hand ,0.0
43547,  i am done with precalc benchmark  veryy proudd of ittt ,0.0
43548,wishing that his name was michelle too so there would be total confusing in the office ,2.0
43549,tomfelton ohmygod youre so hot i love you im a big fan cant wait to see harry potteramp half blood prince ,0.0
43550,why wont anyone speek to me its soo annoying ooops im soory  my bad ahha got to go now night all x,2.0
43551,changeforiran if it confirms their beliefs and stokes their fears people will believe surprising things ,2.0
43552,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
43553,ugh i cant go back to sleep ,2.0
43554,listen to some music and pretty much thats is lol ,0.0
43555,tmmcwilliams funny visual quotcatch that planequot  w yall running thru lax    well take the postgame quotwquot pose monday night at home,0.0
43556,pawprintspet awww   pretty past on jan  she was ,2.0
43557,i am so excited for jess and daves wedding but not so excited for jess to move so far away  ,2.0
43558,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
43559,good breakfast this morning  shame i had to leave early ,2.0
43560,wow david actually invited me to the fazed meet up  i really want to go but i also need to go to the coast at the same time ,2.0
43561,mickyfin i will receive my nokia  tomorrow ,0.0
43562,dylankelly i still dont understand how they work haha were probably doing it wrong  what time  for gym ill be there at ,2.0
43563,langfordperry you are freaking hilariousyoure already aware of thatbeing a woman is awesome welcome ,0.0
43564,why me why me why do i have a family where im hated no father just a mom that hates meno friends only fake friendsno one to talk to about my problemsi dont have a girlfriend and no one wants me because idk tbh and a lot more but sometimes i just ask myself why me i just need to cry on someones shoulder but there is no shoulder,3.0
43565,im leaving today for mission trip and ill be back in a weekno computers there so no contact with anyone ,2.0
43566,haha doctor who is so funny  love my new dvd  x,0.0
43567,all but me left ,2.0
43568,sad animal stories lt,0.0
43569,i wish i was going to miami  ,2.0
43570,stevencarrier  youre leaving,2.0
43571,flisstee i am fine thanks  had a lovely weekend which makes all the difference lol  not looking forward to getting up early again   ,2.0
43572,good news is found a cure for depression through a new hobby i enjoy the bad news is the hobby is murder,3.0
43573,my dimmer switch blew up yesterday now i have no lights in my room  fml ,2.0
43574,calliopesmuse i dont have the converter for you ,2.0
43575,goodnight i want to live im a little cheerful girl i love music whenever im about to go to sleep i take my pink  player to my bed and listen to my favorite songs for hours while imagining myself as a skydiver princess or a superhero as i dive into the blue sky i scream so loud that my throat hurts maybe if im loud enough i wont be able to hear my mothers epileptic seizure as the nice paramedic asks me what ive been reading and if school is going good i try to ignore my grandma crying while my grandfather just looks away from what is happening school is going good im really enjoying my art classes the teacher says that i have some potential and that im a pleasure to have in class maybe because i rarely talk i like when my teacher praises me it makes me feel like im special  i think as i sit on my bed with one of my cds playing in the backgroundim in middle school i live in the city now my school is bigger more modern and it even has a cafeteria its always crowded yet somehow empty at the same time i no longer have art classes my teachers say that im smart but kind of lazy all of the girls are so pretty my cheeks are chubbier than theirs my legs are thicker and my belly is sticking out i skip my lunch looking at pictures of gorgeous and thin girls on the internet makes me feel full i hate pe classes im the only girl that cant play volleyball i hit the ball really hard and now my hoodie is stained red it hurts but i pretend nothing has happened nobody notices high school is scary boys dont really like me maybe because of the way i dress or because i cut my hair very short starving becomes binging i really hate my thighs im the class clown i skip school every day for a week i overdose on medication several times one time i almost fall down the stairs and pass out in my bathtub after overdosing on some pills i try to kill myself when in the er one of my teachers is there she looks at me i can barely stay awake one of the nurses tells me that im selfish after coming back from hospital my teachers say that im the laziest student theyve ever had my mother forces me to lie so they wont put me in a psychiatric facility i go to the psychiatrist once and never go back now my grandma sleeps in my room and they look through my stuff every day i have to ask to go to the bathroom my mom makes me stay in the guest room with only a bed a desk and my textbooks dinner tastes awful i want to die college starts my major is not that great i have literature classes im a very average student sometimes i remember my elementary school art teacher i feel like i failed her boys still dont like me my cheeks are still way too chubby my body is covered in white thick lines people stare a lot some ask questions some just avoid me i still imagine and fantasize before going to sleep a lot skydiving turned into jumping off a bridge into a river grand parties and colorful dresses turned into lonely college dorms oversized tshirts and old sweaters i no longer am a superhero now im the one waiting for someone or something to save me i no longer scream i no longer put up a fight i remember loving music but now it just gives me a headache im an almost  tired woman i no longer want to live goodnight,3.0
43576,the more depressed i get the more stupid i realize i am i have been fighting with my depression for as long as i can remember ive gone through multiple therapists multiple psychiatrists and each time the answer is different on what i have or what my symptoms lead me to be even just this week i was diagnosed as bipolar type  which ive been specifically told i am not by my therapist my former psychiatrist so honestly this week and this news has just left me in a pit of utter despair im angry as hell at this diagnosis and im terrified about what it is going to mean long term what the implications are or could be but more than anything i just feel stupid how could i have gotten this low what did i do to make this all so much worse to come to this i feel like the dumbest guy in the room around everyone i know even friends frankly i dont know why people even want to be around me and to add a sheer lack of intelligence to this is just killing me its plainly apparent how stupid i am around other people basic concepts social norms even widely accepted knowledge apparently just passes me by im an idiot and since ive become more depressed its just become apparent how unbelievably stupid i am theres a girl a girl whos interested in me and wants to make it official yet she is incredibly intelligent in ways i cant even begin to describe not just smart but phd did international baccalaureate smart she likes me but i feel so stupid around her that im terrified shes going to get bored or frustrated i feel so stupid to the point that no matter how much she says she cares and likes me and thats she likes the fact im curious about things in life and try to learn that i simply dont see a future with her because there is such a disparity in intelligence i have never in my life felt so fucking stupid  with her with people i know and i honestly feel like im losing my mind everything has been building and building for months and finally to hear about potentially being bipolar i would be lying if i said i hadnt thought about suicide im  and i dont see this getting betterit seems every time i talk to someone i find out just how stupid i am even in fields i supposedly know or know well i honestly feel like im losing my mind i feel like just telling this girl that she needs to find someone more intelligent than me that i should just go back to isolating myself to avoid inflicting my stupidity on others how am i supposed to go on how am i supposed to start a relationship where i feel less intelligent than someones pet,3.0
43577,rt ladruggie me to me bitch you stress me out 😂,2.0
43578,finally back on this yay lol wtf i cant follow julia ,2.0
43579,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
43580,film sex jade hsu pornstar sexy naked teenages hentai free guyanese girl pussy pictures sexy naked suicide  httpstcoinpyzfewzq,0.0
43581,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
43582,rt kermltnow my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back httpstcoqwubgpzumf,0.0
43583,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
43584,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
43585,lyricalgangsta you rock ,0.0
43586,rt praylngmantls this just cured my depression ,1.0
43587,loveinjoeinct darn i knew that was you i shoulda said something sorry  i dont even know what she looks likedidnt even notice her,2.0
43588,just found out i cant go to san francisco this summer because jmsgrady is out of town the one weekend id be able to go ,2.0
43589,swfacts i press the check for update button every  seconds ,2.0
43590,ritchcraft well all i know is that the lakers will be the champions ,0.0
43591,is doing fucking study ,2.0
43592,mightyvanessa hey do you work at a shoe shop or something if you dont mind me asking seems like fun stuff ,0.0
43593,hasbookpushers likes boys and girls and bicycles maybe people have gotten married to cars and fences ,0.0
43594,only like  minutes left ,0.0
43595,i had my voice for a dayand now its gone again ,2.0
43596,super excited for the new album eadave ,0.0
43597,hate how twitter thinks my name is too long ,2.0
43598,mileycyrus   its so beautifulive never been to la ,2.0
43599,weather please straighten up ,2.0
43600,gelderlandphoto heckyes lol now i wanna spend it all ,0.0
43601,selenagomez  i cant wait for your album and btw your new song headfirst is amazing ,0.0
43602,looking at my snapchat memories makes me sad ,2.0
43603,should i just accept im a terrible person my life is amazing but i have super bad depression and anxiety because i hate myself i dont know at this point if its even worth trying to get better or if i should just accept im a terrible person my life is so blessed but i somehow manage to fuck up all day every day,3.0
43604,janemcmurry  i havent done anything deserving of a thank you janie do like that pic being up again though,0.0
43605,hey ppl ,0.0
43606,help someone talk to me im having a real hard time of life lately crying out of nowhere at the stupidest things and i cant stop spiraling i feel like if i talked to someone this would be easier but idk who to ask and idk what id sayi feel like im going insane,3.0
43607,loves rachel but she is insane sheesh ,0.0
43608,lovegamers i miss u too  your bodyguard loves you  dont forget it,2.0
43609,craypas gets me by ,0.0
43610,my last  tweet has been a mess ,0.0
43611,self harm after break up my bf broke up with me last night and i was so distraught i started self harming again i kind of regret it but at this point its hard to stop i dont want to seem manipulative but i need help what should i doi have a psychiatrist appointment on tuesday and a psychologist appointment on friday so i have that covered,3.0
43612,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
43613,  so lovely  putting lilith to bed,0.0
43614,do you guys feel disgusted at the idea of getting complimented on something every time i do something that gets people to compliment me i internally argue with myself whether i want to be complimented or not i just feel like i would throw up when it happens,3.0
43615,so my gf hates when i play piano guess iwont serenade her in the future this is so sad 😔,1.0
43616,twinkletoesuk those are soooo much better ,0.0
43617,why am i up this early ,2.0
43618,watching the biggest loser on hallmark never fails to make me cry  nyeh,2.0
43619,spitfirekixee woohoo do i sense a party hehehe ,0.0
43620,milkandmolasses that would be totally crackastic i would love to see it ,0.0
43621,wasssupkatie im sick  of the time bc anxiety and its getting old,2.0
43622,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
43623,jackielong heyhow are you doing i am great doing peace from germany ,0.0
43624,beauvass sux u been made redundant via email mate ,2.0
43625,had to take a couple shots to calm this anxiety lol lesssfuccckinnngooooo dubs,1.0
43626,missing someone ,2.0
43627,is headed back to boston today ,2.0
43628,can someone try tweet me  my twitter isnt working and i think i am going to cry ,2.0
43629, talithaxoxo  plainlyphyra happy anoop desai day woooooooooooot ,0.0
43630,theres no point everything in my life is pointless and toxic and i got myself into all of it im not even sad about it there is just no point anymore nothing is worth clinging onto,3.0
43631,starzskymoon thanks saw message about dogsitting i was excited amp about to offer but then realized thats the week im away working ,2.0
43632,managing stress at work httpstcobajijxlnuf,2.0
43633,when using jquery to modify select elements use add on the htmlselectelement rather than append otherwise it doesnt work in ie ,2.0
43634,politics is killing me and  was the year everything became political everything from my mental illness and even the damn internet i use every dayi get my mother telling me that i need to get away from it asking if im a glutton for punishment or somethinghow do i get away i cant ignore it because it affects me i just dont know what to do,3.0
43635,   the one on the left is hot while the one on the right is cute  you are so beautiful taylor ,0.0
43636,rt chambiesphilz i dont want emma to fall back into her depression amp horrible state of mind she only deserves happiness love amp a stres,1.0
43637,hdeez im sad cause i couldnt finish it ,2.0
43638,the weather forecast is wet amp windy today could be gales on top of nevis ,2.0
43639,sitting in front of the vanity mirror in my new room for the next six weeks bored and too far from the city to do anything about it ,2.0
43640,thanks for listening technorulez folks  ,0.0
43641,disciplinecc smashleypants yes it was smashley then discipline ,2.0
43642, when we r at ontario place on sunday lets go on the paddle boats lol ,0.0
43643,and its exactly  days after the last time i metsaw them    ,0.0
43644,just got a twitter ,0.0
43645,maellability  dont remind me tmrs mw mod right  boohoo,2.0
43646,gillyliz  i know on tweetdeck there is an option to have your updates on facebook but thats all i know sorry ,2.0
43647,what now i cant escape the feeling of loneliness and sadness wherever i go i cant let anything out if i want to cry i have to hide in the toilet of my parents house im a grown man and i cry like a little kid on my own on the exterior people think im tough i suppose and hard skinned because im reserved and quiet sometimes i wonder whether this is my biggest weakness everyone around me familyfriends have no idea what this facade hides maybe thats why im alone and lonely nobody wondering if im alright nobody that wants to listen to me and not judge me or lose their love for meits only because if i spoke to someone on a level id let it all out just as she found out i had never done that before and it scared me so much because i felt so vulnerable because trust for me is a hard thing to come by she didnt even have to do anything particular i could just tell and read her for what she was she was pure and wonderful and perfect and i knew it from the day i met herim lonely sad so so tired restless nights every night now and im now worried for my future im completely void of confidence weak mentally and just broken really tonight  is the second time i thought about what would happen if i took my life again i wonder what the relief of not feeling anything would feel like whether thats my only true route to peace,3.0
43648,geraldtjy steal some iphones for us  heh have fun in us,0.0
43649,for those applicable how do yall deal w the knowledge you will die alone disclaimer i do not want to hear the banal useless platitudes that ive been hearing for  years about how im going to find someone theres someone out there for everyone blah blah blah im past that shit im  and have never kissed a girl im normal looking have a high paying job in my degree field and am actually pretty outgoing whatever im outwardly normal i guess but ive never once in my life had another girl express feelings for me on any kind of romantic scale so im just gonna say fuck it  its easier to compartmentalize forever than to actually figure out what the fuck makes me such an undesirable piece of shit  so to those who have also said fuck it whats yalls secret to dealing with it ,3.0
43650,rt lillseb they were likethis sad but after they saw each other they just shone again ,1.0
43651,oh god joes single ladies dance on larry king omg dying of  hand embarrassment ,2.0
43652,had the weirdest dream nowtime for work ,2.0
43653,ronnycostello thats not even funny ,2.0
43654,i hate the way i look does anybody else feel depressed about the way their face looks im in very good shape but i am extremely insecure about the way my face looks i feel like because of it i cant get a girlfriend and nobody that im attracted to is attracted to me a few days ago some lady told me i looked  when im  and that made me feel like absolute shit for the rest of the day  what makes things worse is that my brother is a lot more attractive than i am and he gets the attention of every pretty girl without having to say anything thats something ive never experienced in my entire life loltheres days where i feel super confident and i like the way i look but then i start thinking which leads me to fall back to my depressed state  i really just wanna feel confident about nyself and end this cycle of depression it sucks the motivation out of me and makes everything  harder to do,3.0
43655, dont worry things take forever out here in the sticks ,0.0
43656,welovehollyoaks i woulda had that tat off him i loved him  sniff,2.0
43657,saskiafairy yeah the coral one lasted  days  it chipped  might get the loreal one as theyre £ off in boots  the mo,2.0
43658,girls night tonight ,0.0
43659,my only friend basically called me a melodramatic bitch when i tried opening up to her about how suicidal i really feel we are pretty good friends we used to date my depression was probably the reason we broke up in the first place she always hated how negative and pessimistic i always was this is like  years ago we are really good friends now pretty much my only friend i sometimes mentioned that im feeling bad and depressed but i dont know how serious she took it all today i kind of tried to open up to her telling her that its really serious lately and that i dont know if ill be able to keep on going this whole year and that im not joking what followed was basically me being ridiculed by her for being soooo melodramatic always hating everyone and everything i dont know how to deal with that response im really upset about that reaction,3.0
43660,good morning sweet monday coffee please ,0.0
43661,i think they censored that here philkirbyour benny hill show was much different then yoursno nudity was the big difference ,2.0
43662,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
43663,woke up with a swollen ugly eye ,2.0
43664,isidnee cool  im frm india ,0.0
43665,think about dying but not about killing myself like what if i die,3.0
43666,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
43667,new research by bliss has revealed that  of parents mental health suffered after their neonatal experience ,2.0
43668,i think im finally breaking im losing the ability to enjoy things now the last few years i havent felt particular great about myself but i have never considered myself to be depressed at least not compared to other stories i hear i was always still able to find joy in things genuine joythen it hit me yesterday without going into too much detail because i dont have much time i have never felt more miserable in my whole like than i do right now certain situations have lead to this and there seems to be no end in sight now i have felt really down in the dumps before but i have always been able to find something to pick me upnot this time i was driving home from work last night and i put my music on music always makes me feel better ill put on a tune a like and ill sing along on the car ride home it makes me feel better but it didnt work this time i couldnt sing along to the songs no matter how much i loved the song i couldnt find anything in me to sing along i just sat there motionless in the car while the songs playedeven when im home i dont do much like watch tv read or play computer games because i just dont have the energy i am feeling so tired lately and just dont want to do anything i feel like my body is about to permanently shut downi have been feeling a bit ill lately so i am hoping these are all just symptoms from that and maybe i will feel better once my illness goes away but i am worried it may be more than thati am very busy today so may not have time to reply to any comments but i will try to reply to any comments when i have time,3.0
43669,my throat hurts so bad ,2.0
43670,cynthia and jenny are spamming my twitter haha ,0.0
43671, i miss my dad too ,2.0
43672,iphone os  to drop sometime today reports have it at  pm easterni can hardly wait since i wont be getting new hardware ,2.0
43673,jack can you check wpdesigner for me  i want this nickname ,0.0
43674,mzbritaz yesss come over to the green side ,0.0
43675,suzybie can we not just ignore him and not feed his ego by paying attention to him please ,0.0
43676,smartalec invites you over to his new little webpage workinprogress   httpsmartalecinfocom  do check it out ,0.0
43677,cried for the first time in  months tonight since a traumatic  experience i had  months ago dating and being under full control of a girl with with aspd i have not cried once  ive barely felt many emotions at all other than anger and sadness and surely wasnt letting any of my sadness out through crying or talking to someone or any of that  tonight i had the biggest breakdown ive ever had and ended it by sitting on the ground in my front yard and sobbing more tears than ive ever seen myself cry during this sobfest  i almost started feeling good obviously not happy but the crying just felt so relieving and refreshing  i am now sitting in bed in a much better state than was before the breakdown maybe that breakdown was my body telling me let it out or ill make you but i sure am glad that it happened as i feel alright right now just thought id share  i love all of you and you are all strong as hell,3.0
43678,siidinii thank you for your compliment  i got it in a vintage store for incredibly cheap price hehe,0.0
43679,pandamonial the laptops important stuff is backuped but what about the cognac ,2.0
43680,misses someone so bad right now ,2.0
43681,not really depression but ive been depressed for a very long time was nearly suicidal then i just stopped feeling anything and now i dont really feel depressed but nothing brings me joy anymore i feel like im just waiting to did becsuse there is nothing left to bring me joy on earth but im not really sad still im not sure how to explain it,3.0
43682,dancingmooney i want cookies  ,2.0
43683,so much for the beach darn that laker parade ,2.0
43684,heartbreaking last facebook post of ekiti director of finance michael kayode bamisaye before suicide ,1.0
43685,going to hannahs house ,0.0
43686,had a good day  listening to my ipod in bed tomorrow should be fun goodnite xxo l,0.0
43687,pool parties all day the movie awards after party at foxtail ,0.0
43688, hmharwell im sunburned ,2.0
43689,hahahahahaahhahahaha   im not laughingjust smiling loudly ,0.0
43690,bellerizki yes udah di follow back juga ,0.0
43691,im having delusions i think everyone is talking about me and trying to manipulate me  do i have psychotic depression  ,3.0
43692,help me im  years old f ive been struggling with my mental health for  years on and off ive been in a relationship for  years almost now i love him but sometimes i feel so overwhelmed when im around him when we argue i get so angry i dont take it out on him or anything i hold the anger inside of me to the point that im brought to tears and i want to hurt myself i hate myself if i could sit in the house all day and not go to work i would ive put in a weeks holiday at my work so i can stay in our house all day im sick of being me,3.0
43693,yep love pretty much every song on lines vines and trying times ,0.0
43694,downtorio that is so unbelievably sad ,2.0
43695,left my camera in my friends bag so no pics of dress to upload yet ,2.0
43696,matmurray lol im flattered and feeling a bit pressured to live up to my quotrefollowworthyquot status ,0.0
43697,cmongood damn you just treating me so bad i thought we was cool im not the one to twitter my sexual business like that trust me ,0.0
43698,im not looking forward to todayashley has left for south carolina ,2.0
43699,sistersadist thank you ,0.0
43700,cherylcoleuk those words the break have just put a dampener on my day ha ,2.0
43701,rt therealvonsway turn your volume down juuuuust a little bit 😂 ,2.0
43702,i havent gotten a single tweet today by this time i have at least twenty what wrong and yesterday there was only about five tweets ,2.0
43703,i hate waking up early ,2.0
43704,not happy but gonna try to sleep it off ,0.0
43705,  one of my models from a photo shoot  stacey ,0.0
43706,onlydeshanda thank u sister i miss u ,2.0
43707,hi i just wanna talk about my difficult life and depression ive known throughout the years before i was diagnosed that there was something wrong with me most of it was impacted by the situations ive been in i got held back in preschool because of my age which then i lost all my friends and everyone thought i was dumb i soon found a friend but she soon moved away then my brother got very sick and we had to travel with him to hospital to hospital during this time i kinda lost feelings my mom and him were in another state while me and my dad were at home when i came back to school everything changed it turns out my teacher told the kids about my brother soon all the kids ganged up on me after school days i went to my grandpas were my stepgrandma abused me i visited my brother during christmas and all i thought was that he looked like a skeleton he wasnt my brother after this i blanked out the  grade out of my head since it was really traumatic in sixth even my friend turned on me when i told her i thought she was a little to young to date after i changed schools she still harassed me i soon apologized for saying she was too young too date and she stopped but the pain didnt stop i was bedbound for probably a month i remember the day after i had to do this meeting with my teacher and i did it with a fake smile on my face i thought about killing myself that month that was the worst month of my life i isolated myself for three years only talking with teachers and my family but i have a fresh start now i was diagnosed with depression in december after finding a new doctor the pills have helped me a lot but theres still something wrong and the pills have gave me motion sickness i hope that this new fresh start at this new school will help me with my depression and i hope i finally make a  friend  i hope that my future is bright and thatll be happy someday sorry for this long post  e ,3.0
43708,everything has gone downhill for me everything has gone downhill for me i used to be a very happy smart and social person but everything has changed ive grown more distant with my friends and family my grades have gone from as to cs in under a year and ive completely lost motivation to do anything even worse people my age have already started dating while i still have yet to   even confess to a crush i miss when everything was simpler and i didnt have to worry about any of this i miss when i could just go over to a friends house and have fun playing halo for an afternoon and i miss when i had good grades and a bright future ahead of me i dont feel like anyone in my personal life would understand me so i guess ill just vent to the seven internet strangers who will see this,3.0
43709,i wanna play tennis right now too bad the courts arent lighted ,2.0
43710,woke up early to write a paper today  but the good news is mn is beautiful again today sooo thankful,2.0
43711, reece your a dog,0.0
43712,recently im not as keen on such a short message as i used to be few days ago but i havent finished writing here not yet ,0.0
43713,my heart goes out to the endless families about to get hit with the effects of gm going bankrupt my home state bleeds ,2.0
43714,as meninas do group me odeiam ,2.0
43715,vent post long this will probably be deleted as i dont think i want it sticking around and i just want to get some feelings out there im going through my worst episode yet and im on the second month about a month ago i got incredibly drunk and attempted suicide i was in the hospital for a week scince then i havent touched alcohol mostly because im afraid of what ill do if i get drunk i havent been able to work but im in peak physical condition my parents are constantly sending me emails that i havent responded to i changed my number because i didnt want to be contacted they keep telling me im a grown up and need to get a job and i cant go back to school and why tf would i want to be an emergency responder anyway dealing with meth heads and putting myself in danger plenty of office jobs are hiring and im very capable so i need to find a job by the end of the month or else im getting kicked to the curb and never getting help from them again it hurts that they dont understand depression i feel so selfish that i havent done anything i dont even want to go back to school anymore i cant work right now i just cant and its so hard to explain that i stopped drinking but ive picked up other addictions and im scared for myself im turning to smoking throwing up after i eat anything at all and drinking  of coke a day i had a piece of fish about an hour ago and all i can think of is going to throw it up my mind is so fucked up i dont know how to cope i go to sleep when the sun comes up and get out of bed when everyone goes to sleep just so i dont have to talk to anyone night is so peaceful i dont know it just sucks having this level of depression and nobody understanding it and thinking im just being lazy and feeling sorry for myself like i can just get up put a smile on and it will go away i guess ive rambled enough and if youve read this far i applaud you,3.0
43716,joeypage love the look joey  lol its good to stay protected from this stupid flu haha love sicknastyyy jellybean,0.0
43717,lunarscythe thatll be awesome ,0.0
43718,stayed clean for a drug test a week later i was informed i have to take another one failed it for weed now im jobless anyone else have a similar storyhow do i trick my mind into thinking ill be fine im freaking outno i dont have kids or anything,3.0
43719,watched mean machine then snatch earlier a jason stathamvinnie jones double  very nice hehe wish id watched transporter afterwards ,0.0
43720,havanaweb  juni  en  juni tevens my bday  op ,0.0
43721,mehulharry thanks man thats totally cool just ordered it ,0.0
43722,some people just dont notice anything sometimes ,2.0
43723,i have so much selfhate i tie in my selfworth to my appearance i know looks  selfworth but i cant help it the value of being pretty is constantly reinforced into the minds of little girls and then they grow up watching victoria secret models and kim k type of women living a life of success and luxury whats the point of continuing on if you dont like physical or mental self there is nothing i enjoy in life my death woundnt even make an impact on anyone the only way i can improve is if i get a boob job  im flat chested amp labiaplasty its so vain what is wrong with me,3.0
43724,i feel like im falling apart again this time last year i had a fullblown mental breakdown my ex ghosted me and i had a falling out with my best friend i wanted to drop out of school and quit my job i was having immense social issues at work and i was having suicidal thoughts again i  decided to start therapy in february of last year i started seeing a counselor and psychiatrist at my university  and i tried to be more active during my classes it was the first time in many many years that i had sought professional help or tried to connect with my peers more recently i moved out of the shitty apartment that my ex and i shared and i finally left the retail job that made me super unhappy i felt great i was making monumental changes i was prepared to finish out the semester and walk during my graduation next month in a matter of weeks i have lost my new job my school has converted all oncampus classes to canvas and ive been confined to my apartment  i cannot see my peers i no longer have coworkers to speak to and i cant attend counseling or utilize any other service that ive been using to better myself this morning i checked my email and found that i am no longer under consideration for the customer service job i applied to since being laid off i wasnt looking forward to the job but emotionally it was a monumental letdown most people in my life that i would hesitate to call my friends told me that this particular job at this particular company is unpleasant but they all emphasized that it is easy to get they made me feel like any simpleton could get a job at this company and now i feel like even more of a failure im incredibly overwhelmed i have also learned recently that my commencement for graduation might be canceled at the moment they have postponed it until august the only people trying to keep in contact with me during the pandemic are my mom and my ndad im trying to file for unemployment and it is honestly one of the most emotionally draining and arduous things ive ever had to do at the beginning of this year i felt like i had come so far like i had completely turned my life around not i back to square one and im having suicidal thoughts again i dont know what to do and i have no motivation anymore i feel like i cant have anything good i can try but everything will fall apart again ive been through awful things in my life particularly my childhood  and i really felt like things would be different this year,3.0
43725,tylerbaltierra everyone needs to leave them alone not only did they make a decision that was great for their firs ,0.0
43726,i feel hollow i dont know what is wrong with me i just feel completely empty inside i cant feel good about myself or anything really unless im high off something and im not talking about pot it feels like the only time that im really alive and feeling like a human being is when im either on opioids cocaine or drunk it just feels like im a fucking loser like im a pathetic piece of shit and i know drugs arent the way to actually feel better but fuck man i only dont feel like a loser is when im high ironic isnt iti dont know whats going on im in university rn studying psychology and i just got invited to join my schools honor society because of my grades last semester but it doesnt feel like i earned the right to be there yeah i got  as in  level classes but i also got a c in a freshman free a class idk man i really just dont feel like i earned it i got high every single day last semester and i took pain pills codeine kratom or got drunk at least  times a week i never studied until the day before the test and i only did my homework the night before it was due usually with only hours remaining before my assignment is dueanyways i dont have a point to this post i just had to get these feelings off my chest because i cant really tell these things to anyone in my life,3.0
43727,our mac is officially dead currently purchasing a new one ,2.0
43728,sending out get well wishes to one of our favorite fourlegged friends get better max ,0.0
43729,whos online pcker ,2.0
43730,the anxiety is real tonight 😞 i dont even have anything to feel anxious about body staaaahp ,0.0
43731, yay good to hear your feeling better ,0.0
43732,today is the first day of the rest of my life   or was that last week   hmmm,0.0
43733,cwaterhouse the weather is great here but i am at work ,2.0
43734,at the udistrict street fair with technogreek on  st about to see kirbykrackle perform  yay,0.0
43735,nbr or quotgrabequot as in the quotmome raths outgrabequot ,0.0
43736,my depression and attempts rant i have been dealing with depression for about  years now i was suicidal for the first  years and there were nights where i had a  gauge in my mouth for hours but my depression i think results from not meeting my parents standards but yet the reason i never pulled the trigger was because over the pain that it would bring my mom i had talked to my dad about suicide and the people he knew who had committed suicide and he said that he would never go to someone who committed suicide funeral i have documented most of my episodes and whats help me the most is talking to friends who will listen even if they dont understand i guess this post is to get advice from people in my same boat and also tell people that no matter what there are more people who care about you than you think,3.0
43737,kafreakingboom you have to watch it but seasons over  its about these people in the greek system and their lives together its so cute,2.0
43738,gtnrdy amp home then going for a jog ,0.0
43739,going to pull an allnighter to get going with thesis paper     have to stay up for the boy anywas who lost his keys due to drunkness,2.0
43740,ive been depressed since my parents divorce  years ago and its getting worse i cry every night but im too scared to tell my parents about it what can i do im really good at hiding my emotions but i want help its affecting everything i do some days i cant even get out of bed to brush my teeth ,3.0
43741,sana di na umulan bukas tt too depressing anyway goodnight tweeters ,0.0
43742,back to school  for the first time in about  weeks  starting  year aswel o on the bright side no maths d,2.0
43743,fuck a beat i was tryna beat depression but i aint beat depression bitch i keep regressing ,3.0
43744,my littlest littlest toe hurts ,2.0
43745,watched peaches enter santos as i was leaving dont think she will be performing ,2.0
43746,amylong good  im pleased  you deserve it when do we get to see the holiday snaps,0.0
43747,mizrada suns gone in here temps dropped had to turn the fan off ,2.0
43748, a lot of people do but the ones that dont say it uses to much battery ,2.0
43749,drinking coffee in a cup with  beautiful faces ,0.0
43750,rt bipzz depression is real lets support one another and not judge ,0.0
43751,cnt sleep sinuses actin up da common cold is takin effect  not pleased i say,2.0
43752,new work schedule starts today thats gonna be fun ,0.0
43753,how is sleep still evading me when i only got  hours last night i wish i didnt have to open at  ,2.0
43754,i feel like i want to kill myself the hardest part is feeling like i cant get a job im living at home and i hate my life i dont even have a life i have one close friend who invited me to come visit him in his town and im going on tuesday so thats something to look forward to i drank wine tonight which didnt help but i have been unemployed really just freelancing for like the past  years and the gap on my resumei just dont feel like i can get a job plus i feel like i cant go and make friends somewhere new anyway im  this feels crazy i want out i guess if i was going to do it i would take pills but it seems like all the ways are hard and painful im too scared i dont even want to die the saddest part is i can feel my spirit and that it is so beautiful and has so much to offer the world i just cantget there i was in love once but he was a heroin addict and i got freaked out when i found out he was using again and i ended it and now i regret it so much i just feel like i made so many wrong choices in my life and now it has all compounded and there is nowhere to go so thats why i want to die ,3.0
43755, im chillin b  you better enjoy yourself ,0.0
43756,bexsmith becky  watchh thisss   ,0.0
43757,eating what could possibly my last ever packet of chilli amp chocolate crisps ,2.0
43758,have been really busy and have missed you all so much ,2.0
43759,i dont think im gettin my  ,2.0
43760,how should i act my friend is struggling with severe depressionhe always talks about if i want to make him happy i should pull the trigger at his headi just dont know how to act,3.0
43761,sunrise  vow  broken,0.0
43762,ohemgeematt they are awesome i added them cameron is cute ,0.0
43763,no more studies nice run this morning amp bak  work feeling good ,0.0
43764,fakerparis   kristen your hair rocks in this photo ,0.0
43765,gone out to weed ,2.0
43766,this is the kind of love i want httpstcobebujgdfxt,0.0
43767,excited about the kojima productions announcement todayoh wait its just a countdown clock ,2.0
43768,rt nvyoome me forcing my friends to listen to sad indie music when theyre in the car with me ,1.0
43769,pj no we didnt this time i think the organisers gave the band an overall donation for playing though not too sure ,0.0
43770,snapedinhalf i totally feel all paranoid and like the universe was out to fuck with me tonight nothing went my way ,2.0
43771,remmulpaidualc ,0.0
43772,healthylow cal foods to binge when the cravings are to much what are some foods that are still comforting but healthy that you guys binge,3.0
43773,quiskey thanks your ruined it ,2.0
43774,hi twitters  a experimentar o qwit no kde parece ser muito bom,0.0
43775,today was shitty everything feels fake and everything feels blirry and muted i dont feel loved but i dont feel like i deserve it so i shouldnt care but i do because im selfish i feel ugly like i dont think anyones going to love me i tend to pick apart everyone around me until i hate them so i wont get too attached today was shitty my heart was beating really loud and i was sitting i could literally feel it on my ass cheeks no joke i wore something i thought was cute today to make myself feel better but i felt so judged the whole day i ended up feeling more ugly than i usually feel and then i spent  on pizza for a friend and i and ate one slice i was supposed to help my mom pay rent so im definitely gonna sell my body because nobody else wants it anyway and i need the money like now other than that my dad called me a slut and i got groped by a guy in the elevator,3.0
43776, have a good night ,0.0
43777,back from a run in the rain with loic and maximegarrigues weather sucks today in sf ,2.0
43778,july ,2.0
43779,im such a downer ive been trying to stay positive but its really hard no matter what anyone says or even when i try to comfort myself i always manage to twist it into something negative i hate this part about me i dont want to spoil anyones mood but whenever they tell me its okay just move on youll get through it it just pisses me off i know its okay i am moving on whenever i have a problem i already have a plan to solve it and i know ill get through because again ive already figured it out but just because ive figured it out doesnt mean i dont still feel like shit its not like i like dwelling on small things like a stupid gum infection losing my favorite pencil on exam day which i didnt do pretty well on i hate that i cry over the smallest things but i just cant help it thats just what depression does to you and i hate it ive reached my limit on staying positive and all i can do right now is break down ,3.0
43780,lame i hate sickness  didnt get to work this weekend im sick  it sucks exams this week  of them ,2.0
43781,just relaxing before my parents go back home to arizona sure will miss them ,2.0
43782,frankiethesats one of my friends is going tonight and i could of gone with her if i was quicker ,2.0
43783,just cleaned out our kitchen bini fear for my life ,2.0
43784,rt  ingrahamangle whats the deal if realdonaldtrump doesnt get his wall hell lose the midterms wrongno trump sup,1.0
43785,rt matsuisrena this picture is so sad ,1.0
43786,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
43787,tobbsi preview  ,0.0
43788,newlookcareers coz im not in uk amp where i live theres no new look ,2.0
43789,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
43790,i lost the game ,2.0
43791,is trying to stay up with crystal ,0.0
43792,follow friday ,0.0
43793,on twitter facebook bebo itunes and checking emails  i feel clever,0.0
43794,rt iisuperwomanii does the question do you have your passport give you the same level of anxiety that it gives me this is one of the,2.0
43795,i cant handle my own brain anymore i feel so aware of the uselessness of my own mind more and more i see people around me able to get jobs and move on in life im  i have a wife and  kids with one on the way and honestly i love my kids so much that i will never kill myself but its almost like that is killing me on the inside and not because of them but more so because i feel like im a detriment to them and i hate it i feel like drain on my family  its like a catch  except that it weighs   im just finishing school but there isnt much prospect of a job im  and cant fort the life of me keep my fat mouth shut ive got a temper and as much as i try to be likeable nobody really likes me i can converse and work with my class mates at school and it seems on the surface that they like me but they have parties and get togethers and they all go but im never invited and as i did this i realise that my entire life has been like that no matter how hard i try the moment people spend more time around me the less im invited to things its like im just a shit person even tho i try to be likeable  im almost a straight a student but i cant land a job despite interviews its like interviewers pick up on how shitty of a person i am and before ive even realised it ive killed the opportunity im constantly dwelling on what a useless person i am and no matter how hard i try to dwell on good things the moment something goes wrong i fall apart on top of it all my brain keeps thinking disgusting thoughts that i hate so much i constantly think about how much i hate being trapped in my own mind and wish i could put a bullet through it i never would because again i love my kids so much and think about missing them growing up and just could never do it i just need some advice or something from someone who doesnt know me ,3.0
43796,oops my poptop just fell into my pepsi ,2.0
43797,wants australia to stop playing ellen replys wants to see the new episodes ,2.0
43798,uhohitsem i love you so much you are incredible you make me so happy ,0.0
43799,sorry guys gimme  secondsi will be back when i leave the park ,0.0
43800,never give up on life i know life may be hard sometimes but never give up because one day you will rise above it all,3.0
43801,i dont want to back on meds a few months ago i stopped taking my meds prior to the meds i guess i was in a pretty depressive episode and while i still struggled with my mental health with meds i guess it was not as bad and they were helping ive always been pretty bads with meds if im being honest i just dont have the discipline but for  month straight i seemed to be taking them consistently and i guess thats when i was doing better then one day i forgot to take my meds and then it turned into  days then a week and so on but even off the meds i continued to go to therapy my therapist advised me to go back onto the meds but i decided i didnt want to go back on them after seeing that my symptoms were only worsening she advised me once again to consider medication to be honest i dont know the full reason as to why im stopping treatment such as meds and i dont know why im refusing help im obviously in a state now where i dont want to live and i guess that worried my therapist so she ended up helping me make an appointment with my psychiatrist i wouldnt say that im being forced to see my psychiatrist but at the same time its not really something im looking forward to especially since im now in this state where i honestly could care less about getting the help that i need  im not even sure what to expect because i seem pretty adamant about not going back on them like what else is my psychiatrist going to help me with if i dont want to take medication i just feel like my appointment with her is going to be a waste of her time,3.0
43802, year old highperformer lately completely depressed with absolutely no energy was just prescribed ssris and im afraid to take them wondering about your experience hello i dont know if this is the appropriate place to post this but im  and work in a somewhat highstress position at a massive software company due to reasons that are not yet super clear to me ive been undeniably depressed when im not full of anxiety for the past month i do not feel the energy required to improve my situation right now and so i was prescribed prozac i have a fear of taking something every day not because of the medication itself but because of possible sideeffects when starting the medication as well as when quitting the medication i cant afford to be all messed up in a few weeks due to some presentations i am giving to very large crowds i am miserable and its putting strain on my relationship and my life in general and i just want to feel better i am curious of your experience with startingstopping prozac or other ssristhank you ,3.0
43803,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
43804,having distracting thoughts on negative experiences this is a throwaway account and i wrote something rambling was hesitant to post because it is so long even after editing not expecting any replies just felt like ventingi have dysthymia i dont have major depression but almost every day for many years i feel useless or hopeless and have barely any selfesteem i have no special or rewarding job future plans or constructive activities and im pretty isolated most of my free time is spent looking for passive stimulation to pass the time one intrusive problem i have is when bored or doing something routine like washing dishes or watching the news or even when im going to sleep my mind will fixate on any of a number of negative experience from the past it will replay the experience over and over and each time it replays the associated negative emotions get more and more exaggerated i will think about what i should have done differently what i might say to the people involved if i saw them now it can be a while before i can get my mind to move on to other thoughts and it might even sit in the back of my mind for the whole day its mentally distracting does this happen to anyone else i talked to some family members and they say it doesnt happen to them for them if they think of a negative experience from a long time ago it only lasts a moment and then they forget about it most of these events deal with me failing to stand up for myself the associated feelings are embarrassment vulnerability and cowardliness i think a contributing factor to why the memories keep coming back is related to where i am in life   since i have little to look forward to when my mind starts to wander maybe it fixates on the past and most of my strong memories of the past are negative it also doesnt help that new negative experiences and regrets continue to happen as is part of life positive experiences should also  be occurring as a counter but i dont have many of them i was a scared kid in those older experiences thinking of running away from confrontation and today still feel like im still that same kid ill give an example and you should probably stop reading here if you have other things to dogrowing up the slightly older neighborhood girls werent very nice to me they would babysit or watch over the much younger kids when all the neighborhood kids were playing in the shared yard i was about  and over multiple days the girls instructed a toddler to hit me later the toddler kept doing it on his own i ignored it because it didnt hurt and the toddler just threw a couple punches before running away the one time i reacted a couple weeks later i grabbed his arms after he kept on going and going he fell down after pulling away started crying and went home the next day i was riding my bike in front of his house his dad came out yelled out a sentence threw my bike behind a bush and went back inside it happened so fast so i was just standing there and then it was all over afterwards i didnt tell anyone and didnt have the courage to knock on the door and tell the dad my side of the story i also wondered if the girls told the parents a different story since they were babysitting him and probably wouldnt want to get in trouble looking at it from so many years later the incident seems pretty insignificant and shouldnt be making me feel so bad today no one got physically hurt the dads intimidation only lasted like  seconds and he didnt put his hands on me the girls became nicer or at least polite when we got older other than me im guessing everyone involved probably doesnt think about it anymore but when the event repetitively plays in my mind for up to a whole day the emotions get built up and just simmer cognitively i know i should be able to reason away the thoughts and emotions but it just sticks therethe sadness from how mean the older girls were at the time the fear of that dad during those  seconds even though he never yelled at me again whenever i saw him the embarrassment that i didnt verbally defend myself at the time or wondering what if that whole family thought i was a bad kid this whole time feeling incompetent that i didnt have the intelligence or skills to tell the parents or his older brother who was one of my playmates what was going on before it got worse i also wonder if the toddler may have developed behavioral problems because he always looked so angry and he continued to act out for years to come so theres a degree of guilt that maybe his behavior could have been corrected if i had said something and then at the age the realization that the world and human beings dont have to be fair especially so because the dad was a judge and as a kid i was thinking either such a person could be unfair or that maybe i was the one at fault so anyway if a normal person were in my shoes they would think that was unfortunate but not important now and move on and go about their day but not me it sticks in the back of my mind for the whole day and it doesnt have to be this one event if this event never happened it could be some other incident that gets stuck in my mindbut its not just problems of letting go of a minor past event as an adult i still feel like that scared kid with no selfconfidence for example giving one of my dollar menu burgers to a panhandler outside a fast food joint he starts loudly cursing about wanting more and i dont say anything because im afraid of confrontation and walk away or after apologizing for accidentally walking into an area that had just been mopped in a laundromat and the employee continued to yell at me and said obvious lies about how the machine i was using was for women i didnt say anything back because i felt like running awayi think my train of thought is losing focus and im too tired to keep editing to shorten this post sorry its so long,3.0
43805,rt rileygriffith mental health is so important always be kind to each other because you dont realize when someones on the tipping poi,0.0
43806,i have counted sheep i have listened to slow music i have tried to close my eyes in the dark silence still sleep wont come to me ,2.0
43807,hey yeall im back ,2.0
43808,jst got pulled over for speedin in indiana ,2.0
43809,a long tale about my depression sorry i need to word vomit im having a bad time ive been dealing with mental health issues for a while i think ive never been to the doctors about it when i was nine years old i moved to a new house in a new area of town it was my first big move the second day i was there i was beaten up by  thirteenyearolds and i couldnt leave the house for years if i went to the back of my house closest to the park where i was beaten up i would cry and scream my mum always said there was nothing wrong with me and never got help for me the anxiety has been with me for  years now and it has ruined my life i cant be round small groups of strangers talking to people became a chore this made me depressed at a really young age i wanted to be an accountant but sunk my time into video games and now i want to be a game animators i think that dissapointed my mum and she chose to ignore my cries for help and just let me drive head first into online gaming which i dont hate her for because gaming is great and also it made my happy but i wish she helped years later i get with my boyfriend when im  before i got with him i tried to commit suicide for the first time he helped me to stop but then i moved into his house two years into the relationship my anxiety makes it hard for me to eat around strangers especially a small room of them the more strangers the better its very weird i know but its just my thing his parents would let us eat in his room while watching our tv but then we moved houses and they decided to change it up and they made us eat downstairs with them it threw me and my anxiety couldnt take it and it went out of control i would shake while eating cry after i would not eat for days and say i was sick just so i didnt have to eat with them this then made my very depressed i asked my boyfriend if he could help me talk to his parents tell them about my anxiety they might as well of laughed in my face they totally dismissed my anxiety and rhys didnt stick up for me he let them make fun of me it made me feel like i was insane like it was all in my head at this time i was unemployed i was having trouble talking to people and i was alone every day i loved it and hated it at the same time i would wait all day for rhys me and rhys have a lot in common but i am kinda crazy and is calm he started playing a game with his friend and ignored me for  months i am not lying here he didnt speak to me properly for  months i would wait for him all day and he would come home and not talk to me it was devastating this is when i tried to commit suicide for the second time but i didnt to add to the story i was having trouble with my sexuality i wasnt having sex with my boyfriend i hated it i would cry during and scrub in the shower after i thought i was a lesbian but just in love with a man turns out i didnt like anyone i was asexual if you likethis made rhys fall out in love me i think he doesnt respect me anymore he treats me like shit its a bad time anyway in my head i was feeling like my life was spiralling i had never been more depressed but i was hiding it on the outside people kept telling me my depression wasnt real and the reception i got from rhys family made me want to hide my real feelings my anxiety has turned into full on paranoia last year i got real ad insomnia my paranoia made it so i couldnt sleep but eventually it calmed down but last night it felt like the barrier i was holding all my head shit exploded ive been lying in bed all day shaking crying i dont know what to do ive seen therapists before but i have spoke about my childhood so much i just wanna not talk to therapists as it feels like its all they wanna talk about any advice sorry this was long i kinda word vomitted and need to get words out to someone anyone,3.0
43810,studying for legal exam ,2.0
43811,loves the fact that my mom woke me up at  am for church so i got ready and went downstairs and my parents were gone hmmmphhh ,2.0
43812,i cannot login to gmail anymore in tehran ,2.0
43813,zoozees sometimes turning the other cheek doesnt cut it and the best you can do for jesus is get it over with quick ,2.0
43814,gdgofficial seriously i want to come see you on monday but due to the economy i am broke  sowhat do you say,2.0
43815,iink damn i got all excited ,2.0
43816,feeling kind of sad rn,2.0
43817,chriscarnall you are too kind amp very encouragingactually rather depressing seeing how little impact lots of hard work actually had ,2.0
43818,i now haves a season pass for six flags ,0.0
43819,underoak did you upgrade your iphone yet  its pretty sweet a little anticlimactic since we still cant mms    boo atampt,2.0
43820,do you think it is possible to be cured of depression i personally think no i was diagnosed when i was  and even with medication my depression and suicidal thoughts never disappeared ,3.0
43821,i live in an apartment block full of inconsiderate morons and i hate hay fever   bedtime after some reading i think,2.0
43822,parttty was exactly what i needed we sure got the partay started lmao now my legs are killing me and i gotta work tomm ,2.0
43823,fat ugly and antisocial went from having anorexia to being overweight in  months having the worst breakouts of my life cant remember what happiness feels like cant work up the energy to respond to friends or do anything social cant leave the house without feeling ashamed really scared to go back to college and have everyone think oh she got fat making my family worry constantly being a money suck brigade i cant do anything right have no discernible personality or any positive qualities got my first b had to drop a summer class  so sad and scared every day is a chore i dont think theres an end to this,3.0
43824,whats happening to me hi dont know if this sub is right so sorry if i missed it so my problem is im  and i feel like  always tired always sad in bad mood wanting just go to bed dont have any hobbies becouse everything is seems pointless working well paid easy  job but im feeling every morining frustrated to go there only hobby i have that makes me happier is drinking on fridays till i pass out my eating schadule is total mess first meal i have after  when i wake up i think im drinking about  max water a day meybe this is all about bad nutrition can someone tell me good nutrition plan or vitamins medicine or smth like that i heard keto diet is pretty good,3.0
43825,there is no place in the world for a person like me i have a form of autism but i keep getting treated like shit because im different and i cant take it anymore,3.0
43826,bing is a remarkable product check out for yourself   via danishk,0.0
43827,jillz get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
43828,a bit hung over but im alone at work today so no one will notice ,0.0
43829,yayyyy its raining smells air ,0.0
43830,harmonybreviews nice batch ,0.0
43831,outcyde just fyi mac stands for media access control apple builds macs  moving is no problem these days most files are cross platform,0.0
43832, days to apples wwdc and still no steve jobs  ,2.0
43833,penellie  i know   i love it,0.0
43834,so they forgot my birthday again yesterday was my birthday seeing as its  am now and nobody got me anything no hug not even a happy birthday all in all it was a pretty horrible day and a depressing one,3.0
43835,you know u r older than you think when a y reg sierra is considered a classic car ,2.0
43836,mokargas nice poster  but nitpicker me had to point out the typo ,2.0
43837,rt miuvih im not sad im just empty,1.0
43838,been asked to cover the teen group tonight the krazy kidz ill get to see some of the kids i used to work with ,0.0
43839,someone please put me out of my misery beastie boys and tool are playing the same night at lolla ,2.0
43840,rt jeoncrack me why u sad joon httpstcoxnkbzzxgkp,2.0
43841,neta me pego la muerte de x me siento sadxxxtentacion ,2.0
43842,dwighthoward we definitely respect you up in chicago keep up the good work  ,0.0
43843,omg that was so hard to read but i got it ,0.0
43844,morrigoon sorry to hear that ,2.0
43845,pediatricsbased brief therapy outdoes referral for youths with anxiety and depression  healthscience feedly,1.0
43846,the lowest ive felt in a good while first time posting in a subreddit like this but i thought id try and at least write something down things have been going really good have a lovely fiance saving for a house starting to get my social life back on track but last night i didnt sleep my head spinning with too many thoughts that i couldnt focus on today has just been a massive blow to the momentum i tried really hard to build up i have been struggling with depression for about  years and with the help of meds and therapy i thought i was doing well well enough to cope with every day life i am pretty certain this slump will pass but right now its so fucking horrible hopefully this subreddit is the right place to post this kind of thing to but i am not too sure,3.0
43847,mattmurphyshow yeah no more quotbest ofsquot and no more snarky cartoonist just the matt we all love ,0.0
43848,rt carxlinv depression hours at it again brb ,2.0
43849,katie here  im starting ccw back up again  parties,0.0
43850,hangin with trevy ,0.0
43851,feminina yeah i wish i was at httpwwwmyspacecombobbitogarcia but it is some sold out ,2.0
43852,just thought id share ok so let me start off by giving a brief background of myself im a  male college student who has never had a relationship ever and suffers from major depressive disorder im a psych major who wants to become a therapist and help people with the things ive struggled with anyways as of late ive just been lying in bed not wanting anything to do with anybody or anything even my hobbies and passions luckily i recently got put on a new snri which seems to help alleviate the numbness of my passions however it is almost as if bad shit is just destined to constantly happen to me i usually make really good grades but they are dropping to my lack of interest and drive to continue i have yearned for a relationship for years but no one seems to want me i dont feel like i have many friends who actually care besides a few this is just getting really hard id love some feedback and maybe it would help to hear someone elses story i really just posted this to vent but i would really appreciate some advice or feedback thanks,3.0
43853,mobbsey    doris pilkington wrote quotfollow rabbit proof fencequot,0.0
43854,does anyone here have long term friendships tldr you dont have to read this post if you dont want to im not good at synthesising okive never been able to make friends properly most of them just ended up leaving me or forgetting about me they didnt last more than a couple of years or months right now though i made two new great friends heck we are best friends already they have been helping me in my difficult days and i feel like im being toxic to them i told them i didnt want to be toxic they told me i am not toxic and that they would always be here for me they also mentioned that i shouldnt dwell in the past or the future i mean ive know them for about  months or so i am so attached to them that i cant picture my life without them they reassured me that they would always be there for me even if they had to work far away or even if we couldnt talk much that did make me feel better for a while and still does its that i really have some serious trauma with abandonment lately my anxiety and depression have been hitting hard but thanks to them ive been able to get back up on my feet again i dont want to lose them they are everything to me i am trying not to depend on them and just be happy by myself but when im alone none of my hobbies amuse me my life isnt the same without them on one side my mental health is improving but one the flip side i keep thinking that no friendship lasts forever even when people say they wont leave you for the record these friends feel like family and i know them pretty well at this point i feel so at ease and feel like i can talk to them about anything its just my anxiety that is keeping me from getting closer to themtheres a side of me that tells me not worry about that to just live in the present and be grateful for what i have and listen to what my friends told me  but theres this other side that wont shut up it keeps telling me that they will move on with their lives and i wont be part of it or it wont be the same thing like not hanging out as often or if at all im feeling happy but also sad at the moment im really happy i reached an important milestone in my life and i have good people around me but my depression keeps bringing me down and making me worry about what will happen next what should i do honestly ,3.0
43855, juicytots hoping both dodge the bullet but cant decide if should stay away from other kids for a week her bday is on fri ,2.0
43856,want to quit school to work on myself and get away from my problems so yeah the title pretty much sums it up some things happened with my friends from school and i dont ever want to see them again ive been feeling depressed and had some suicidal thoughts for a while now i think i just need a break from everything what are your opinions im  btw,3.0
43857,scrolling loading has become very sluggish in tweetgeniusalso its sucking the battery out on my bold ,2.0
43858,holy cow  stafford beer  a personal memoir is a thin book but its adding to my reading list exponentially ,0.0
43859,roberthay saw on your profile you are into thinking gotta watch thatheard it was hard on your head  jody,0.0
43860,divineguitar but your wallet is fat  ,0.0
43861,bringing in sandal season with black cherry nail varnish ,0.0
43862,nfi what to wear tonight left everything to the last minute ,2.0
43863,idsharman oh brilliant thanks ,0.0
43864,myclothngcalndr actually i guess i cant dm you since youre not following me ,2.0
43865,my therapist ghosted me and not even the office will return my voicemail im not a problem patient we didnt have a volatile relationship the last thing she said to me was she would never give up me and would call every week i feel so abandoned and hopeless now,3.0
43866,lmfao at dave chapelle playing diddy on the chapelle show i just died and came back for mtb  omgosh too funny i miss  tho ,2.0
43867,smart cars are the most worthless cars ever made amp it makes me sad how many of them i see anymore ,2.0
43868,whats the point whats the point of having friends whats the point of life whats the point of anything i just feel like an empty void inside i dont even know why i have social media apps no one ever messages me no one cares about me nothing i ever do matters i dont even matter i dont have a purpose no one needs me life is so dull theres no point in anything,3.0
43869,happy mothers day i wish my mama was back already ,2.0
43870,ladies night diner ice cream and movies and of courseguuurl talk ,0.0
43871,just got home overnight at erikas was fun ,0.0
43872,dying to do something this evening  cant find anyone in town lookin to party or dig some sushi ,2.0
43873,jajmiami tuesday it is definitely happy its no longer monday ,0.0
43874,rt itgetsbetter sunday shoutout to lgbtfriend an organization working to promote the health and mental wellbeing of lgbtq individual,0.0
43875,toytoyy ayeeee girl ,0.0
43876,ugh why cant chris love me already  this is frustrating  vigiluccis with my familykill me,2.0
43877, celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,2.0
43878,cezabel welcome sis ,0.0
43879, hours laterstill working on emailsjoy ,0.0
43880,rt ianaiexander me after my second depression nap of the day httpstcojygigeghyg,2.0
43881,good morning all you lovely tweeters  what a lovely sunny day ,0.0
43882,ironing whilst watching atonement and drinking cider  life isnt so bad ,0.0
43883,greggarbo   omj i want it ,2.0
43884,ohthehumor no  im just sitting inside,2.0
43885,rt nihdirector interesting penn finding greening vacant lots in urban communities resulted in significant reduction in selfreported fe,0.0
43886,tvorse kalalea its up and ready for reading    httpbitlyhgxzr,0.0
43887,my one and only hyun joong oppa ,0.0
43888,still studyingggg  i hate econ,2.0
43889,just enjoyed a hot shower i love feeling clean ,0.0
43890,ookaaayy  time  to  go  to  bed   nite  nite  god  bless ,0.0
43891,miss mo tanong miss kaba sad,2.0
43892, i can spell pc  and i understand this there are  different kinds of people those who understand binary and those who dont ,0.0
43893,i cant do it alone i lost my daughter in may it jas been the worst pain i have ever felt just dealing with it everyday is a constant struggle i was  months now my boyfriend of  years just left i dont know if i can cope alone i feel this irritation in my head i feel numb i cant do anything but cry i just want to everything to go back i want it to be okay im tired of being ignored by him he cant understand how i feel i have done everything he has asked to try and better myself doctors meds time off im so lost i cant talk to my family about it they tell me to move on from the situation i cant get over any of this i just want it all to end,3.0
43894,rt jniewalker มินย้อกถามซอฮยอนว่า depression แปลว่าอะไร น้องก็พิมพ์ตอบให้ ละนังก็แบบ อู้วว ชเวซอฮยอนนน ละก็บอกว่าเนี่ยซอฮยอนเคย ,2.0
43895,kelseylynnmusic something is wrong with you loloh and i watched your video  you made me proud like alwaysnothing new ,0.0
43896,so many culminating tasks ,2.0
43897,sad hours hittin early tonight,0.0
43898, i now see what you were talking about with the deletion comment  oh well who needs it i have dont it before too,2.0
43899,is my depression severe or average should i be as concerned as i am ive been depressed for about  years mostly it started as random feelings of sadness or loneliness over the past year after struggling with drugs and events in my life i am noticing a very distinct change in my depression and im am concerned about my well being i have started pushing people out of my life methodically and im not sure why everyone that i love i feel like a burden too so i have been doing a lot to keep them distant from me but i really want these people around i feel tortured by thoughts i only sleep for  hours a day because i am always thinking i have intrusive thoughts about suicide and i hear my brain telling me that i dont mean anything and my time is done i feel crippled by loneliness yet i make no efforts to date because i dont have any effort to do anything outside of work or school lately ive been having trouble eating and it makes me sad seeing clothes fit looser even though normally im happy to lose weight i also have trouble relating to people or keeping track of thoughts most of my time spent feels like i am not in my own body and i am completely dissociated i have to convince myself every morning to get out of bed instead of just waste away everyone is starting to call me emotionless and people emphasize how little i care about life by making jokes but they dont realize how serious this actually is to meam i still just depressed or is this a different or more severe form of depression,3.0
43900,im going crazy i just wanted to cry i wanted to hurt myself i cant stand myself someone talk my brain out of my head im mentally emotionally and physically tired of myself i just needed to let that out without the need to saying to anyone that i feel that way rn no one has to go through dealing andor listening to me anyway im just tired and im miserable messed up fuck i just hate myself im making this a rant wall,3.0
43901,segasonicsteve yeah it was good ,0.0
43902,in morrisons most useless article in the world man who cant make his wife laugh ,2.0
43903,unikissa oh my thats really horrible its shocking  i hope your friends dog can recover,2.0
43904,soulboykirk i dunno im going to meet him in the fall though he just text me he woke up really early ,2.0
43905,im sure my baileys was off last night ,2.0
43906,luckily next one wasnt too long just it stops at nearly every stop on the way  the last one went straight to st pancreas,2.0
43907,officialkathyg the only thing is i have a problem with telling people at work that they can suck itthanks to you ,0.0
43908,my head hurrrts too much computer ,2.0
43909,photo my brother ryan he was such a good sport while being my model for my conceptual photography shoot  ,0.0
43910, badthingsdaily wtf im not even in the infosec industry and these tweets give me anxiety,1.0
43911, i think i�m gonna send him a msg on myspace i hope he will reply justmeviv yes me too i hope he really does ,2.0
43912,noteenamores de aquel que no puede mantener una conversación sad,2.0
43913,melbdogtub yup im in elwood so albert park could be good ,0.0
43914,karasutra what is your next youtube video gonna be about i love your videos ,0.0
43915,didnt get any work done  heading back to town now shall do a piece of english compre on the train perhaps,2.0
43916,tercadetremurasdvacende uma vela pra tira o stress só não esquece longe das crianças 🍃🍁🔥🎶,2.0
43917,miriamlinky oh ok i missed it ,2.0
43918,rt abratasas for all my anxiety ridden folks ,2.0
43919,rt heckisthis girlfriend on a scale of  how much do u love meboyfriend onegirlfriend omg how could yougirlfr,0.0
43920,wow life is honestly so fucking ridiculous man  its like day by day i start to realize people are fucking manipulative  even my own family  i used to look at them like they were the world and now im  only to realize they are just as shitty as everyone else  i cant keep dealing with this  the fact people have been here for  years or even more then  amazes me  i tell my family i think im depressed one time and when im in a good mood they think im faking it  this is all insane  i plan to commit suicide soon but i just dont have the balls right now  fuck this,3.0
43921,finally trying medication and now i cant orgasm internal screaming vent,3.0
43922,almost there ,0.0
43923,i just want to stop my mind has been racing for days  i want to kill my self,3.0
43924,i have a day off work y unfortunately i have to fill it with revision ,2.0
43925,helping out  corner stone tonight ,0.0
43926,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,0.0
43927,where did this bullshit come from i felt mostly okay when i went to bed last night  how did i wake up having already jumped off the cliff  i feel so numb like i want to punch myself in the face just to feel something  the worst part is that ive been to therapy for this  i can recognize the triggers and the warning signs and this time unlike the others ive inexplicably chosen to do nothing  its like im standing on the train tracks i see it coming and i dont want to get out of the way  part of me wants to descend into that silent awful darkness where the best part of me slept for over  years  that part of my mind is telling me remember how cozy it was down there  like a warm bed on a cold winters night  youre used to being there  youre known there  come back  and i cant even feel myself fighting it this timethe suicidal thoughts havent come fully back yet but i can feel them creeping in on the edges of my mind like a sound that might have been a whisper or just the wind  i think thats the worst part of it thinking about how selfish it would be of me to eat a bullet but at the same time how cathartic  cant fuck anything up if youre dead you knowi work from home and have been on the clock since   my wife just got up and may or may not have heard me crying  is everything ok she asked me from downstairsyeah no  it hurts  please help me but dont help me because even though i know you mean well it feels so frustratingly much like being patronized  im finegod this sucks,3.0
43928,even getting help for myself is exhausting i have state funded healthcare which only covers certain psychiatriststhere are only  that cover the northwestern part of my state and are currently booked up the butt and are not accepting new clientsthe counseling place the lady that called me back mentioned is a place that has consistently crappy counselors who dont care and easily brush off someones problems as nothing and mails the wrong personal papers to the wrong clientssuper illegal might i add she asked if i had a personalfamily doctor which i dont thats the one doctor i dont have ive been meaning to get in to see one for a physical but keep forgetting and i dont want to go into the office and say im depressed and need meds right away i feel like that wouldnt look good the family doctor would be the only other person with the ability to perscribe medication besides a psychiatrist i have really bad social anxiety so mustering the energy to call someone without stuttering and talking too fast is already a chore sometimes i wish my mom still set up my doctor appointments for me i miss that,3.0
43929,longing for just something im  and never had a gf and cant seem to get it figured out im past the point of wanting sex because thats honestly pointless i just long for someone i can talk to just about anytime of day and can hold you cant do that alone and even a simple hug brights up my day because i have very little physical contact with anyone,3.0
43930,kelli and ashana are aughmazing ,0.0
43931,rt  im telling yall right now if the world ever run out of rice i dont see a reason to continue living so yall better,0.0
43932,nickcarter nick gorgeous where are you  write something please i miss you  i love you kisses bsb,0.0
43933,so nervous for all my exams next week ,2.0
43934,watched ken dodd  he has a fantastic light and very hilarious british comedic style last of the music hall comedians ,0.0
43935,collierchin sweet ill tweet when i head over hopefully youre recovered by then ,0.0
43936,waiting for the sun to rise with patrick   hour and  minutes left,0.0
43937,wants to be back at the beach ,2.0
43938,love this photo of this sweet couple but im so sad because since ive taken this photo the whole structure and ,1.0
43939,rt youngbabycoco stfu bitch ,2.0
43940,comeagainjen jennifer ,0.0
43941,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
43942,ah havent tweeted in a while well things are amazing right now bro just graduated yaya  im way tired nightt ,0.0
43943,i am my illness i am become nothing but my mental illness i hate and disgust myself on every level if i could erase myself then it would be to the net benefit to the lives of those around me but i know that my death would deeply traumatise my kids etc i feel so trapped just want to remove myself from life entirely feel this way all the time to one degree or another so very intensely right now though dont reply esp to say comforting nothings i just need to say it somewhere,3.0
43944,happy mothers day tu all moms out there  ,0.0
43945,stephaniebambam spock  you really are attracted to geeks  ,0.0
43946,  fat adorable lil baby eeee  amelie and mari halloween ,0.0
43947,its getting so difficult to play pretend i try so hard to be the person i used to be but now i feel nothing my doctor used to always tell me to describe it and all i could say was i felt absolutely nothing i made bad decisions and lost a relationship then all my friends left when she did i pulled myself out of school and got a job that made me so miserable my dad always tells me the reason im so down is because i listen to sad music and stare at the rain and only go out at night but its hard to explain to him that i do those things because although they make me feel sad and alone they at least make me feeling something i could never end it all because i would feel too guilty i couldnt do that to my dad or grandparents but it just gets so hard day by day ,3.0
43948,fair tiredz atm i want credit and icecream ,0.0
43949,is working on a release for todaytomorrow of the ide sorry for not being very sociable recently thats the reason ,2.0
43950,rt chelsea anxiety is too real,1.0
43951,just finished sarah baylas first birthday party ,0.0
43952,makn food out of onions ,2.0
43953,i hate short lights at intersections specifically going south turning left onto  from quivera ,2.0
43954,i cant do anything ive been looking for some kind of career to set as a goal but everything just feels like im not good enough or itll make me a slave to the job and be soul crushing it always feels like i have a timer telling me i have to plan my entire life right now but i just cant do anythingeverything started to feel fake as well my laugh smile even crying feels fake now,3.0
43955,i miss my bffhe is getting married sunday and i dont think he loves me anymore ,2.0
43956,andipantz poor woman how awful it must be to have ones mind disturbed likely a lifetime of angst sorrow poverty ,2.0
43957,passage of minimum wage bill generates worker optimism employer anxiety ,1.0
43958,lilmomz oh yay i might be seeing star trek on thursday ,0.0
43959,jayesh it was fine had fun ,0.0
43960,geminitwisted im very easily amused ,0.0
43961,o my dad did a virus scan on my computer  viruses o no wonder it wasnt working properly now its great thanks dad  xoxo,0.0
43962,ddbbudapest has now a company subscription for monocle   most livable cities  budapest is not mentioned ,2.0
43963,rt manisssh irony just committed suicide 😂😂 ,1.0
43964,wow heat plus fatness  sweat which  and unhappy nick  but i got purple drank,2.0
43965,reccomendations hi i was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for like all natural serotonin supplements i cant go on antidepressants but ive been pouring through the internet trying to find something that can help me that wont worsen my anxiety and that wont give me a lot of side effects because ive noticed that a lot of them have side effects and i really dont want to mess up my body before i turn  ahahfeel free to even drop what you use,3.0
43966,rt samsora a new type of anxiety strikes me when im in public on twitter and i accidentally full screen a big tiddy goth waifu,1.0
43967,battery on my mac dies after half hour on full charge    called apple  zero wait time theyll replace under warranty nice,2.0
43968,i just miss being happy i had a few weeks where my mood cleared before it got worse again and right now i dont even remember what it felt like to feel normal the people i need and love most are far away from me and the loneliness physically hurts me i can feel it in my body and im ashamed for being so weak an emotional and tired all the time i wish it would just go away ,3.0
43969,tummy hurty fix it ,2.0
43970,idk what to do ,2.0
43971,still no ones home ,2.0
43972,sunday   work tomorrow ,2.0
43973,afl aflfooty im hoping for a dons fightback ,0.0
43974,scottian cant wait  just reading the heaviest thing weve done since caught in a mosh� made my heart beat a little faster  ,0.0
43975,its  pm and im still sitting in the office trying to finish work ,2.0
43976,rdriessen thats pretty cool  now if only theyd stop the malware spam ,0.0
43977,our baby taehyun ，i dont know how to comfort youbut our army and those who love you will be by your sidedont be ,0.0
43978,groggy leaving now ,0.0
43979,georgedearing theblackfin when uve a hammer saas ss just sw everything looks like ur kind of nail  key timetomkt cost sla,0.0
43980,rt seanmcdowell more than a third of teenage girls experience depression  eyeopening ,2.0
43981,peachgrdn slams depression to the ground u leave dee alone now u hear,2.0
43982, yeah i dont get it it worked again with the last vidbut i cant change the old ones info ,2.0
43983,rachmcfly how do you keep changing your name it doesnt work for me ,2.0
43984,krisalderson what did u think of bachelorette tonight i was bummed about ed ,2.0
43985,im really really tiredi need a restreally ,2.0
43986,finding art history internal hard ,2.0
43987,i dont know what to do or who to trust im in a pretty bad place now my mother kicked me out about  weeks ago i took the money out of my bank account that she trusted me to keep for tax evasion and spent it all on myself and hotels as an act of rebellion ive been living in hotels since i got kicked out today i got a message from my friend that my mom messaged him about the deregistration from parental home that means there will be no more benefits from the government financiallyi skipped my last appointment with my psychologist because i heard from that friend that my mom was going to ambush me there and take away everything i had on me by force with her boyfriend and my uncle my family isnt that supportive they like drama tomorrow is my last day in this hotel and i got nowhere to go i was thinking of ending it my suffering has gone further then i ever wanted it to go i contacted suicide prevention and talked with them for an hour result we cant help you any further please contact your doctor im feeling suicidal and im ready to give up i told myself if nothing  changes is my situation by midnight i will just do it nothing can cheer me up everything is a pain nobody actually listens and they dont care if i live or diewords spoken by my mom i dont know if my vision is obscurred bc of my depression or that there is just no options left please give me some guidance i beg you reddit,3.0
43988,hey just having breakfast chocolate chip weetabix minis and a hotcross bun  topped off with pure orange juice  ,0.0
43989,is going gone na  ,0.0
43990, i know right ,0.0
43991,spud yep but i guess that is to be expected   still a really useful site,0.0
43992,i feel like i really need to ride my bike in a fabulous dress and heels very vintage ,0.0
43993,rainy monday morning brings word of oracle buying sun httpisgdtrag  perfect for mood of dark wet day ,2.0
43994,loves scrubs ,0.0
43995,i have no mouth and i must scream this is the first time im posting on this sub its actually the first time i search for this sub i guess it never got that badmy parents are separate have been since i was born my mom took me in and never got alimony always said she didnt need my dads help to get us by she worked all day and barely saw me at some nights if id stay upneedless to say i never saw my dad not as a dad anyways i talked with him once every  days i never got to connect with eitherlast year was the worst i was finally fighting all this weight surrounding me i got a job at retail barely the dream job but a reason to get up in the morningthen the bad news came after black friday i got some vacation days saved my boss asked me to go take  days off so far no problem till i remembered sales decreased and the store was barely hitting our estimates i was fired after those off days but to make it worse my parents had arranged a neuropsycologist to examinate my mental wellbeing and so a single day after being fired i was diagnosed with depression symptomsi kinda already knew that you always know maybe its not really it i thought surely im just making this up but now i knew and it got me at my lowest pointim better now though started exercising and meditating even started going through a psychologists im really feeling better till  weeks ago when my dad took me tho this place one of the best psychologists in the city just the one appointment was as expensive as my first paycheque he asked me some questions for  minutes and gave me a prescription for some pillsthe whole thing didnt feel right i was better then ever working out waking up early meditating studying i even gave a conputer class last saturday im better now then i think i ever was i didnt take those pills i didnt need themright now is  am my dad came to talk to me about the pills at about  but he didnt ask me how i was or if i was doing fine at all he took the doctors word completely i couldnt even defend myselfwile he was talking i just froze it was like sleep paralysis i couldnt move or talk i just looked at them and tried to force myself to do something literally screaming inside i never got the phrase in the title till now not that i could ever respond to any of my parentsafter a wile i managed to throw out a phew sentences not enough to make them understand i never feel so trapped like this unless im with them i ended up supporting their case they wanted to agree on something with me like a pool made by them and for witch i have the minority of votes the people most trying to help me cant understand im only that bad when im with themnow i hope i need this pill because i dont have a choice anymore,3.0
43996,kylebuzzard evidently if you let the battery run low it turns off all communication charging doesnt fix this rebooting does ,2.0
43997,urakagi meridian is better than default but i cant deal with it because its too ugly  i hope that u improve graphyx too,2.0
43998,myshiren i get that but in the pic he looks sooo unhappy ,0.0
43999,really surprised i havent cried yet my week is so bad ,2.0
44000,sinnamonlove the only thing i dont like about shelters is usually the dogs are harder to train from them ,2.0
44001,yay im having a sleepover bffl denita also cant wait for tomarrow its my big end of the year party ill miss lincoln ,2.0
44002,dakotacassidy yeah blondes are awful ,0.0
44003,is missing the best show in the world tonight ,2.0
44004,pills amp depression so i started bereavement counselling and my therapist think i would benefit from taking pills but heres the thingi lost my partner  months ago and this is the first time in my life ive accepted help for a trauma  ive lost a child and watched my grandad die and didnt get helprefused it and yes it took me a while but i overcome it well learnt to cope with itwhat are you experiences with pills for depression positive or negative did they help you through whatever it is you was going through im scared that if i start with these pills ill become reliant on them to get me through the next trauma and i really dont want that,3.0
44005,study finds no causal relationship between cannabis and depression httpstconuahzcfgcv marijuanascience ,0.0
44006,aquentphx hi another offer for offsite iphone development   we have a few us clients httpbitlyikcmj,0.0
44007,damnit option  just called to try working something out    im sad but at least i have a place to live,2.0
44008,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
44009,zaneology walking home in dt dallas at midnight you got a couple of strong bodyguards with you ,2.0
44010,elevated ive had depression since i was eight obviously some days are better than others but it seems like im able to finally cheer myself up i feel like im finally getting better,3.0
44011,ahhhhcaffeine hmmi dont play halo quit gow and cod  waiting on  for now infamous on ,2.0
44012,teamcyrus o lucky you it doesnt come to my area  but i hope you enjoy it im suree its amazinggg xx,2.0
44013,mennodejong  hope u liked ur cheburashka the toy i gave u menno  it will remind u about russia thnx for the awsome gig xoxoxo,0.0
44014,jerryjamesstone and we will miss you jerry my friend ,0.0
44015,shailethabo she was hungry 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😭😭😭,2.0
44016,studying maths for the exam i have on tuesday booooring ,2.0
44017, hmmm still not sure about it but either way you are right making fun of anybody is not cool   thx for the link,2.0
44018,evilsue okay felines do not belong in oz thats why ours are housebound and we get robins and wagtails at our windows ,0.0
44019,егати пауъра �апи�ах �и кур�овата побързо отколкото очаквах wow ,0.0
44020,still no baby ,2.0
44021,khopjackpaper better luck next time jack ,2.0
44022,hostx ,2.0
44023,had fun staying up way past my bedtime good thing i can save regret for missing sleep for another time ,0.0
44024,i wish i had someone who could help me go through the day i need someone who would hang out with me almost every day someone who would help get daily basic life things done and hug me when its really roughit sounds like a job which i think is sad i dont want it to be a job and i dont want to have depressioni dont have that someone i dont have anyone ,3.0
44025,gaypuppy uhoh too many family members on ur hate list  but i sorta hate my sis too so wait i think i hate my mom too d,2.0
44026,back at work sun is shining ,0.0
44027,petewentz srysly th guy kinda scares me  oh wait dont tell me patricks in the mascot costume,2.0
44028,after  years it finally broke me hi my names ryan i just turned  and ive had severe depression anxiety and ocd since i was  my ocd makes me believe that if i dont do certain things and think certain thoughts bad things will happen things like my appearance changing people treating me bad bad things happening to my family and anything else that is negative i have to repeat almost every action like putting on a shirt or turning the page of a book until i do it while thinking a positive thought and trying not to think the negative ones it used to take me  hours to put on a sock i take medication and have seen multiple therapists and psychologists but nothing seems to help me i come from a broken  and messed up family so ever since i was young ive always looked at others and seen how happy they were i saw their parents taking pictures of them and putting them on the wall and hugging them i cant remember the last time i was hugged if any of my friends were asked if i was depressed they would probably say that thats impossible and im a happy and normal person im a good liar since i was  i hated myself but when i turned  i decided that i wanted to be happy i wanted to love myself the only thing stopping me was my mind it would not let me be happy in  grade i fell in love we became friends and out of fear i waited  years and told her my feelings in  grade i decided to show her by giving her a gift chocolates and a teddy bear and stuff but she seemed offended she said she didnt want my gift her friend took it for her i felt real heartbreak before i felt real love since i got my first job i spent almost all of my pay checks on fast food because it makes me feel temporarily better and ive become overweight i messed up my back lifting boxes at work so i cant even exercise properly i used to be a straight a student and used to care about school but in the beginning of  grade i gave up i barely passed im in college now and im doing terrible by the end of  grade my family started doing pretty good my dad and stepmom and younger sisters are all happy my mom also recovered from being an alcoholic she moved pretty far away but i still visit her sometimes on my  birthday i sat on my bed alone i spent all of it alone apart from a few happy birthday texts i looked at a picture of myself when i was  and started crying i kept apologizing to my  year old self for what i became and what i turned him into thats when i decided i didnt want to live anymore i dont think im gonna kill myself but ive never been this sad i dont know what to do anymore im alone and trapped im sorry if this post is all over the place ive never written down my thoughts before,3.0
44029,emmaskrnjug hope it isnt he swine flu  oink oink,0.0
44030,dda yup i announced my head shaving late last night ive always hated my hair amp finally cut it all off ,0.0
44031,draining my water tanks ,2.0
44032,whats been happening to me lately heyi have never posted on one of these that i can remember but i just sorta need someone to talk to two days ago i tried to make myself throw up and now i feel like i may have fucked my body up because when i eat the food doesnt seem like it settles wellalso ive wanted to cut like everyday for the past few days and ive cried almost every day this month i dont even know what to do anymore ,3.0
44033,is anyone else scared to die so i have pretty severe depression and anxiety and my psychologist thought i might have high functioning bpd as well i mostly feel very empty and numb with the occasional moment of utter misery and awful anxiety i rarely leave the house and get panic attacks when i do and i stay in bed a lot of the time i cant work due to my mental health and my physical health i have chronic fatigue syndrome which i know is linked but despite all this ive never really had suicidal ideation i feel so awful and cant concentrate on anything my existence is often utterly miserable but i still dont want to die i have constant thoughts about self harm and self mutilation but whereas im often tempted to act on them im actually terrified to die the thought of it really terrifies me i suppose i have this feeling that im missing out on life and if i die thats my chance over does anyone else feel in any way similar ,3.0
44034,i just watched a woman lose her husband on tv wonderful that makes me feel a whole lot better ,2.0
44035,mollywoodreport no i cant ,2.0
44036,relatable song by johanna warren  bed of nails i wanted you to tell me that im good enough i wanted you to call my bluff i wanted you to ask me if im doing okay i wanted you to stay and i wanted you to leavethis is exactly my anxiety,3.0
44037,slimgoodies so so sorry  effing gout,2.0
44038,artlovemusic nice it wouldve been nice  and no not really,2.0
44039,peterpolaco i cant dm you if your not following   im interested in helping promote though,2.0
44040,wants to thank all the gay men in the world who has helped cause more insecurity and uncertainty in his life  ,2.0
44041,rainbowsuicide show me show me ,0.0
44042,angel hudgins congrats im real happy for you now can you get me one ,0.0
44043,orientation for usc took foreverrr x off to pearl citys graduation then out with dill ,0.0
44044,what can i do when antidepressants doesnt work past year i  was taking antidepressants  to help me in my depression condition but everything was in vain it  just made me feel worse day by day and i couldnt stop of thinking  about kill myself  so i tried that but i did not worked as i planed in the morning after that my parents found out what i did and they took me to the hospital weeks later i go to the psychiatrist and he gave me another kind of anti depressants but it didnt work again so he gave increased the dosage but it didnt make me feel better i still have suicide thoughts every time but then i went to this same psychiatrist days  ago and he gave the same dosage  i was taking before i think im just getting  worse with the medicatios i talked it to my mom today but all she said is that i should do what the doctor told me to do but as i said before de medications are not working i dont know what else i can do so i came here to ask anyones help what should i do do i stop of taking the antidepressants if someone can help me i with that i would be so greatful with that,3.0
44045, definitely hope it gets better then ,0.0
44046, natural curly hair  blame my mum dont even like it ,2.0
44047,hoping radrails eventually resolves this bug  im thinking its an astparser leak had to ditch eclipse  ,2.0
44048,just  became an uncle ,0.0
44049,petalbypetal thanks  getting closer and its only tuesday   more to  followers ,0.0
44050,and sad,0.0
44051,serenas party was bomb  fuseball was fun  haha now off to bed good night,0.0
44052,just got back from an awesome nite at robins good music good drinks ,0.0
44053,kaicenhower welcome to twitter ,0.0
44054,princesammie mexican food is awsome ,0.0
44055,theanand i like airtel  red and white   but i m not so happy abt blue and red combi   ,0.0
44056,i wish da would feature some actual underexposed artists ,2.0
44057,i need to burn windows cd and my both burners are broken  what a lovely morning,2.0
44058,sooo change of plans not hittin the atl tomorrow  imma be in columbus ga at family day in the park wit da folks who all kno about that,2.0
44059,desperately looking for the musics into the night  i need it to fulfill my dose of nostalgia,2.0
44060,themoderngal we dont deliversorry   get some caffeine,2.0
44061, hell yea watching the game now ,0.0
44062,garryinnorfolk tobiefysh still none received by text as yet  i do like the idea of vodafone eating my tweets ,2.0
44063,lilly took a few more steps this afternoon with a little help ,0.0
44064,rt jeongurt if ever youre felling sad remember that its tuesday tomorrow but no run bts for the meantime and now youre sadder youre,2.0
44065,theres something up wmy host  i cant upload anything ,2.0
44066,cant envision a future in which im happy  m basically im unhappy have been most of my life and cant envision a future in which im happywhy im unhappy i think ive never had a girlfriend ive never even been on a date this is mostly due to the fact that throughout life ive always had a small number of friends and i never did anything social beyond hanging out with my friends im also quite insecure about my looks and social standing and i assume people wont like me for whatever reason so this prevents me from approaching girls all in all im afraid i dont have what it takes to meet someone and even if i did meet someone its probably not a magic pill for happiness i have a relatively cushy job but its suffocating having to wake up early and do shit i dont want to do for eight hours a day five days a week weekends provide relief but the next segment of  waterboarding always looms over i cant imagine spending the next  years of my life working my life away theres fire but that still takes at least  years to achieve im fairly smart and have some skills so maybe i could find a way out but theres a lot of luck involved in escaping so id maybe succeed  of the time which means that  of the time im screwed my life just isnt that social active exciting or glamorous like maybe life would be better if i was an actor in la going to highend social events or if i was a professional youtuber and traveling a lot ive always wanted to be the best at something in high school i desperately wanted to become a starcraft pro and it became my life for a while but i only got to masters after a year of hard work and had to give up on this dream in college i wanted to become a professional high stakes poker player and so i playedstudied poker for  hours a week while being a full time student i made several thousand but considering the hours i put in i was making less than minimum wage so this didnt go anywhere now i rock climb and it is probably the biggest passion ive ever had but i started too late so even if was insanely dedicated and determined its doubtful i could ever take a crack at national competitionsim not sure why or if this is really relevant but a lot of anime fills with me sadness theres something beautiful about the adventures and worlds shown in animethe song im still here from treasure planet basically sums up how i feel,3.0
44067,rt lyndamfiller high anxiety exotic places mystery suspense iartg rrbc novellas kindle   httpstcoguxvj,2.0
44068,i might have to redo my right hand ,2.0
44069,finished at  out of  players todaynothing as only  players itm ,2.0
44070,just saw the local forecast rain at times heavy risk of a thundershower amount  to  mm except locally  mm in thundershowers  ,2.0
44071,does anyone else zone out while talking to people i didnt even realize i was doing this until my boyfriend brought up about a month ago like ill be in the middle of a conversation with someone and internally  my mind either goes blank or starts wandering externally according to him ill suddenly get quiet and my eyes focus on something in the distance since ive been made aware of it ive been trying harder to stay focused while socializing but its so incredibly difficult the fact that im pretty introverted doesnt help either im wondering if theres a specific method or practice i can follow to stop zoning out so much,3.0
44072,my pictures not working tweets i need help  x,2.0
44073,north korea is up to no good  i hope we are able to resolve the tensioni hope its not as bad as it probably will be ,2.0
44074,boss says im not enthusiastic enough and i need to smile more i work in a skilled nursing facility as the assistant director of recreationactivities typically one of the happier departments since were concerned with quality of life and leisureso it was my  on the  of this month mostly ive fulfilled my job description and more the residents seem to enjoy me  im often greeted by smiling faces and conversations when i visit them throughout the facilitymy directorboss decides that yesterday  before i need to clock out theyre strict with punching out that she needs to talk to me she texts me to make sure im comingi come to her office and she tells me she wants to do my evaluation i said i have to clock out  to imply that id rather do this other time shes pushy so i let her do it one of the first things is that she tells me that i am not enthusiastic enough and that i need to smile morethis ticked me off anyone who knows me is that im not incredibly smiley and that doesnt mean im not happy its just hard to fake a smile if im not super happy she goes on to say other things which arent substantiated and i will write a rebuttal come monday but to tell me i dont look happy enough is just saying stop looking so depressed my husband said that shes just trying to make me upset my boss and i dont get along as we believe shes insecure that i want her job as i am qualified for itnote i smile and am expressive with my residents as i enjoy talking to them i just wanted to vent on how stupid i thought her evaluation of me was,3.0
44075,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
44076,well that was ten sneezes in a row my allergies are not making my day easy still no air through the nose ,2.0
44077,rt blackmindtweets are you ready for tonights bmdtalk only a few minutes away we will be discussing seasonal depression,0.0
44078,tahirabellot whats going onhow you beeni swear you need a reality showmtv quotthis is your next big hit since the hillsquot ,0.0
44079,thesupergirl scale on the daily basis  where do ya normally vibrate at ,0.0
44080,kottmomma long island iced tea ,0.0
44081,grazeit  good presentation at techonomy  sorry for the late note  ,0.0
44082,my deepest condolences to him and his family i really am so sad,2.0
44083,just finished dinner my belly is fully satisifed ,0.0
44084,rt  incorrectfob after the band gets a dogpete sneezesjoe oh no petes allergic to the dogpatrick sad voice we,2.0
44085, anonhater db so sad to think that everyone is making a mockery of her for entertainment but in ,2.0
44086,missverna   wow this looks incredible wicked job on the butterflies theyre fantastic ,0.0
44087,is catching up on sleep for a change headed to the bulbs amp then off for a jalepeno roll amp carrot cake cupcake in honor of saturday ,0.0
44088, were running out of pubs that will end up as flats probably ,2.0
44089,  okay  brittany cries in corner hehe i kid,2.0
44090, oh yeah we are feeling the forks weather right now ,0.0
44091, on myspaceee ,0.0
44092,getting a few things off my chest i feel trapped i  dont feel anything no emotions i cant even bring myself to care about anything before i at least used to know what my emotions were but now im empty i feel like i could breakdown at any moment like theres something inside me that is just waiting until the right moment to make me breakdown i dont even know if that makes sense nothing overly bad is even happening in my life right now it feels like mental torture like im just biding my time until i do something,3.0
44093,lucked out unbelievably into finding an excellent counsellor yesterday i spoke with a counsellor ive never had before and  oh man  a counsellor that suits me made all the difference to a therapy session normally i feel so horrendous after counselling that it basically takes out any hope of productivity for days but yesterday i felt okayish after the session shes very receptive as in stops a train of thought and gets me to ground myself before ive even realised im having a panic attack and compassionate not saying any of the counsellors ive seen before arent good but i guess what suits one person wouldnt necessarily suit another i feel like i lucked out so much finding this one therapist the only downside is that i am only entitled to six hours of her time heres to six productive therapy sessions ,3.0
44094, hahaha i guess its part of it i always bring my charger with me everywhere so i wont run out of battery  iphone,0.0
44095,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
44096,what no iphone  software on the morning of  june  you have let me down after all the hype ,2.0
44097,mandydean thanks mandy  what a good sister you are krikkert that may be true but unfortunately my road tires cant say the same,0.0
44098,heyximcaitlin oh yeah i can go to tsh now thanks for reminding me cait ,0.0
44099,seriously though i thought it was st patricks day ,2.0
44100,experiences with talking to friends and family about depression has anyone else been met with awkwardness and avoidance when trying to talk with friends and family about how youre feeling no one really wants to help they all talk the talk but when it comes to it no one really cares enough to try to helpso for example my boyfriend gets angry at me when i try to talk about it or i dont have any enthusiasm or whatever my friends dont want to know i have outright been ignored or just fobbed off with bullshit like we could meet up one day soon etc the worst part is that  years ago one of my friends killed himself and at the time they were all like omg if you ever need to talk to me i will listen i wont lose another friend to depression and all the usual crap people share on social media when someone kills themselvesi was just wondering whether anyone else has had this experience,3.0
44101, no wedding today relaxation now ,0.0
44102,going to the rangers doubleheader with tori and madi ,0.0
44103,has anyone avoided suicide simply because of the financial burden you would leave behind there are days when i wish i could simply go away with all traces of me erased however like every human i have financial obligations which would make me feel even worse if i left this world and burden my family with such obligations i literally say to myself that its too expensive to end it all  true double edged sword ,3.0
44104,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
44105,kaibaby im mad your watching the movies without me lol i asked if we could have a movie night ,2.0
44106,possible body dysmorphic disorder i dont have an actual diagnosis of this but i do have ptsd and dythmic disorder which is a more long term depression i was bullied as a kid from elementary to high school i also survived child neglect abuse and starvation i survived rape at  sex trafficking at  and got clean from meth at   i also grew up in fostercare i had my first child while in fostercare and the state almost took my son from me off of the assumption that a foster kid van never become a functioning parent ive survived domestic violence and also took my father off of life support had to watch him die  when i was bullied i would be spit on have things thrown at me talked about or made fun of i resorted to drawing as a way to escape and i got good over the years of practice and no friends  so as i got a bit older i apparently got more attractive which to bullies didnt sit well because i could also draw people like i was professionally taught  i was bullied more when i got to high school the only time i got positive attention was from boys my age and older who wanted to fuck me i didnt like that attention but i did realize i must have been alright looking because everywhere i went i would get stared at other girls would be more pissed when they found out my talent in art plus the fact i survived all that shit and still was around ive always been an outcast but my identity ended up attaching to my outward appearance  and because i am a portrait artist i see minute details and change i see facial fat loss skin laxity and asymmetry at  i still get looked at but i dont look in the face like i did at  it was my face at  which i felt most okay with i know this sounds super vain and self centered but im not trying to be ive already paid for fillers next ill be getting my wisdom teeth removed and jaw surgery because my jaw has progressively shifted to the side ill be paying for blepharoplasty to fix the lazy eye i have from looking lower than my right ill be paying for a facelift and lateral brow lift all to make my face look more symmetric and less of an old washed out  something woman who only gets looked at but never really gets hit on anymore i used to stop people driving who would literally stop and stare at me now since ive never made friends because my peers were too busy excluding me the one thing that got me noticed and gave me worth is gone and ive been depressed since i was a child so what am i supposed to do at  my worth was only in my appearance that what i was taught im more depressed when i look at my face it looks like my mom who neglected me and it looks like my dad who shot up heroine in front of me for years i dont want to look like them i dont want a face aged from stress and survival like i been through war my peers who know nothing of what survival is like look younger than me its because they havent known a reality like i do never seen or been through what i have i wish to not struggle with this,3.0
44107,yes every one gets something on their birthday  httpmypanimshoutemcomeli,0.0
44108,i guide others to a treasure that i cannot possess lmao imagine theres a tabletop full of counters all the counters are unhappy some are unhappy because they arent paired up and some are just unhappy with themselves im sitting at the table and its my job to either make the counters happy by putting them with each other or by helping them until they feel better when the counters are happy i put them into a little box and they can stay there happily eventually all the counters are going to be happy and theres no reason for me to be there anymore so i leave  thats a terrible analogy i came up with that i think explains how im feeling all the time,3.0
44109,my stomach hurts like hell because i was having an anxiety attack,2.0
44110,whats the point of living a life riddled with mental disorders why should someone wake up to only pain and suffering knowing that their quality of life wont change no matter how much they try it seems kind of pointless knowing that you cant do a damn thing to change anything ,3.0
44111,i cant eat i wasnt able to eat much yesterday i dont think ill be eating anything today the depression is killing me ,3.0
44112,aw bastard sonic the hedgehog is only for the iphone  i think i may have  purchase the iphone  x,2.0
44113,crc good morning and happy birthday  hope you have an amazing day ,0.0
44114,my dad passed away and i havent cried at all my dad died recently nothing to do with corona he had serious health issues for about  years causing him to be pretty much bedridden i dont know if my depression wont let me feel anything or that i had accepted his inevitable death because i hadnt seen him normal in so long  but since his death i havent felt sad about it rather i have been feeling a bit better than usual ive never understood funerals never felt relieved when attending one id prefer to remember my dad in private with just my siblings his funeral was yesterday only  people were able to attend due to the pandemic and im ashamed to say i wasnt sad at all but anxious and bored i dont know why i loved my dad he wasnt the best father but he tried his best in the way he knew how the whole time i was there i just wanted to leave i felt very uncomfortable having my family express their condolences to me but i was able to get through it without any issueshas anyone else had experiences like this im curious to find out,3.0
44115,rt byyourlogic  is going to rock kasich will run a doomed primary trump will do an ad that features all girls all the same where h,0.0
44116,yourlastdrink acordei cedinho ,0.0
44117,lbondrums thanks lb  weve been going through withdrawal on the updates  its good to hear youve been relaxingcreatinggolfing,0.0
44118,i just need to post this wall of text because i dont feel alright mentally well here it goes first of all sorry if this is on the wrong subreddit but do feel free to correct me and show me a place where this is more appropriate this is most likely going to be more of a incoherent ramble a lonely talk to myself and shitty selfdiagnose but id love to hear some of your words about what you think of my situation or something yeahim a  year old dude from the cold north europe just your ordinary university student on his first year living alone trying to figure out his place out in the world the thing is that i dont feel like im even close to finding it im on the track to possibly finding it since im studying on a field i really like and would like to proceed and work on in the future but i feel like thats really the only thing going for me i have a certificate on a line of work already and could work fulltime but instead i decided to go further in my studies and went onto a university of applied sciences im doing rather well in there surprisingly even though my background isnt the most optimal for it because ive done mostly practical studies instead of reading in the past years id like to think that as an achievement really getting into uni and all but it comes with the flip side of not having a  week break from anything for  years or actually having a good amount of time just for myself but i guess thats nothing out of the ordinaryive moved cities to study too i moved to a completely new and foreign location and i did not know anyone from the new city i moved into maybe a bad move but i felt like i needed serious change cut my ties from the old same faces and surroundings and just move somewhere else far away actually i felt like doing that for over  years because i didnt really feel like i would fit in my old city and to be honest moving away was one of my best decisions ever i love it here on the other hand though i dont really have friends at the moment only my classmates in school but as you know i only see them when im there  days a week at most i wish we could be friends and hang out after and out of school but that is yet to happen even though i have proposed for it a couple times maybe i need to try harder being honest actually im really fucking lonely here i just study at school and at home and after that im alone inside these walls i mean i never had more than like say  friends anyway at my old town but stilltelling more about my background ive always wanted to travel for a long time now for about  years but regardless i have never left my own country id want to experience and see the world and the people it holds meet new people see new things talk to someone unknown essentially to feel alive for a while i guess regardless of this urge ive always covered all my time by work and studying even when im done with one education i feel like that isnt enough and i just move onto another and leave no time for myself at any point hence going to uni straight away ive never really experienced a good working cycle for a few months at a stable job but then again im only  so its pretty normal i guess i feel like im just very busy all the time even when i shouldnt be i fill up my time very effectively i also like to spend my alone time playing video games i think they calm me in a way and let me work out my competitiveness they let me sink into another world for a while i like to play counterstrike even though its not the best game for winding down especially when you dont have friends who play the game but need to rely on complete strangers at least thats how i felt before nowadays i dont really like playing anything i own either i dont have friends to play with so any cooperative game feels pointless and im yet to find a good time sink maybe i should stop being on the computer and find some other hobbies oh yeah i had those too but had to leave most of them when i moved at the latest i used to race on  and  play drums climb buildings and do other stuff like that but almost every single one of them is hard to pass with yourself when you really dont have any income dont get me wrong i switched parts of my acoustic drum kit for an electric one to play here i have a great pc and peripherals and other equipment for various hobbies but whenever i start trying to do something i just feel its not for me im too tired and lazy to keep on going and trying to be better at whatever im doingjust a side note at this point of the rant it actually feels a bit easier on my mind and it feels nice to lay a lot of stuff just out there almost like youd talk to someone open up you know havent done that in a long time can count that timescale in years also also i dont do any drugs nor have i ever done anything except alcohol i come from a family where my relatives are mostly alcoholics or narcotic abusers so theres that also so no i dont take anything to feel better and if im completely honest i wouldnt if could either way i feel like you need to be able to handle yourself and your thoughts when youre you sober and sensible i also want to stress out heavily that im not suicidal nor do i want to inflict selfharm i detest sliding down there and i couldnt do that to myself and to others even more soon a more emotional scale i feel like im just very lost in a span of  years ive felt like im changing emotionally but i really couldnt pinpoint how or in which direction when i now think about it maybe ive changed for the worse i dont know what to do and just feel like burning out im so fucking lonely sad i dont want to say im depressed because that is thrown around too much and to be honest i hate thinking that id be one of those depressed people regardless of this however i find myself listening to and enjoying depressing melancholic and sad music for most of the time accompanied with very heavy feels just feeling like something sad over all emotional worthless something that i cant really pinpoint but all in all were i depressed or not i feel like im starting to learn how those guys feel like actually you dont really feel that much in the end no anger no sadness just emptiness youre pretty much like a shell just wave and smile boys wave and smiletldr im lost most of the time feeling sad and lonely or something along those lines reject to call myself depressed even though i most likely check many marks on that list too what is going on and how do i better myselfif you made it and read it through i congratulate you feels nice to know that maybe someone might read through how i feel inside my head im quite relieved from writing this down anyhow so i guess i should thank you regardless id love to hear if you have any opinion what might be going on with my emotional self what is causing these feels and what should i do to proceed and change for the better im also open to answering any questions you may have for me or just talk about anything overall ,3.0
44119,ipenginbrijhe been busy doing business development  ,0.0
44120,xhumonne i wannaaaoh how i wannaaa but nayagia said no said i wont fit said i am too fat ,2.0
44121,i dont deserve im currently forcing myself to stay awake as long as i can because im a horrible person and i want my outside to feel as bad as my inside im also not eating atm because i dont deserve to feel goodi know im probably going to have another attempt in the next few weeks its more a matter or when not if,3.0
44122,star trek is a trending topic again  i guess other people went to the movie for the first time today like me ,0.0
44123,having a shit ton of fun  watching quotstupidquot boys enjoy violence in my living room,0.0
44124,princereliable i hate her voice tbh ,2.0
44125,yehey  with triiiciafegmartha amp aby yeah i ask what is there section but bye bye bea ,2.0
44126,jackleblond im happy to report that the place near me that has the rockin sp fries is just far enough away to keep me safe from them ,0.0
44127,im also so proud of alex bc hes come so far since they had to stop shows when he was having anxiety attacks backstage seems like hes,0.0
44128,just a quick word to myself and anyone who might need it when i was at my worst i think i delayed the inevitable and chose not to get better because maybe subconsciously i wanted to stay in the comfort of depression theres stability in it i wake up feeling the same as i went to sleep i react the same way to everything without variation i wouldnt have to experience the good and then the bad i forgot what exactly pushed me to slowly start changing my outlook on everything it mightve been cutting off the source of toxicity which was my dad but i paid more attention i relished the little details in life i appreciated the opportunities i had which used to feel like an obligation or even a burden instead of feeling exasperated because i had to go to class i started challenging myself i started rewarding myself for completing simple mundane tasksthere probably exists life events in another persons life that could suddenly kickstart the commitment to working towards making your life better but in my experience its just trying to make yourself happy and if youre experiencing those days those weeks those months where you cant muster up the energy to make yourself happy thats fine take your time and just believe in yourself and your future everything will be okay its not your fault you have trauma but it is your responsibility to do what it takes to heal because you deserve it you deserve to wake up in the morning take a deep breath and want to stay awake maybe it just takes that one fleeting sensation of happiness to get you hooked onto it and continue the pursuit of emotional tranquility you got this no matter whats thrown your way you got this no matter how long it will take dont give up on yourself it will be okay,3.0
44129,i would kill for some reeses pieces  nomnom,2.0
44130,colorblindfish probably wouldnt be the first time with you guys on board now they better update their servers again ,0.0
44131,biancaduhh im sorry  i hope you feel better,2.0
44132,wossy ogodogodogod  i misread fetching ,2.0
44133,wendyandlisa thanks about the wine i know lisa is into the cocacola ,0.0
44134,thalitakumi ella es del clan ,0.0
44135,at camilos house hanging out and catching up on things im not so happy with some of the things hes telling me thats been going on ,2.0
44136, ouch ,2.0
44137,geoffcraft welcome back ,0.0
44138,rt royblair sometimes i be so sad,1.0
44139,doughnuh good luck ,0.0
44140,saturday is going to be ended soon ,2.0
44141,cogiva  coolio ill send out a text then to everyone and you can go home to bed tell your boss i said it was ok ,0.0
44142,rt friendstagram i need someone in my life whos gonna motivate me and not stress me,1.0
44143,fmdoll only one day a month damn  lol x,2.0
44144,mattsorvillo not the case my friend  as of yesterday they made it so you cant see that stuff unless youre also following apizzagirl ,2.0
44145,im hurting people by living and i will hurt people if i die life is just a pain i just want to disapear without hurting anyone i dont want anyone care about me just let me fade away like if i had never existed,3.0
44146,officialtl its winter in australia  i wish i could go and hang at the beaches but its too cold wish i could be in usa at the moment,2.0
44147,been a real rough year i just need to vent and im all alone  started off as a great year i had a good job had a great girlfriend no debt bought a new car had a nice apartment you name it and i had it then it all fell apart i feel so alone i went from everything one day to absolutely nothing the next i asked my girlfriend of two years to talk because she has struggled with depression and i felt that she was slipping into a spell so i was trying to help her turns out she was miserable and decided that day that we were going to break up and that she was moving out of our apartment that week she left and i havent seen or heard from her sincethen i started drinking and realized how alone i really am i dont have family i dont have friends the one friend i did have i screwed up because of my drinking i just feel alonei got demoted at work had to start paying for an apartment meant for two by myself i just had no one to talk to and i still dont ive tried traveling and that doesnt make me any happier ive tried going out by myself but i just cant talk to people or make friends i feel damaged as a person i feel like ive lost everything that makes me a real person i cant even meet people i talk to strangers or people who seem interested in talking to me and we get along well but as soon as the conversation stops thats it ive gotten numbers from girls to go out and never hear back from them ive got numbers from guys to try and meet and hang out to try and be social and i never hear from them eitheri hate my job i hate the city i live in i hate how i look i hate my inability to talk to people but mainly i hate myself i ruin everything i touch i am never enough for anyone and i am never wanted by anyone i try to keep a pretty positive attitude but each day it gets harder and harder i cant stand to look at myself i dont even know who i am each day i feel more and more like i am not worth anything that my life just isnt worth it i wish each day to just not wake up each hour sitting at home in the darkness pushes me closer and closer to actually killing myself i try to hold on i try to push myself to see the bright side but i cant my best friend doesnt talk to me my other closest friend hates me every person i know that was friends with my ex and i constantly bring her up and how shes so much happier now and to top it all off i just found out that she is now engaged we dated for a bit over two years and it just ended just so abruptly and now  months later shes engagedit kills me to think about it physically hurts i feel like throwing up im an anxious mess but i have no one to talk to about this now im sitting alone at work for the new years no one is wishing me a happy new year no one is caring that i make it home tonight no one would even know if i killed myselfjust when do things get better i hate feeling worthless i hate feeling like a burden to everyone around me i hate being alone i hate the feeling of not wanting to live anymore but honestly its the only comforting thought,3.0
44148,happy birthday meagann and anthony  ,0.0
44149,pghjen pgha perhaps some nonmonday i think other new movies are coming out in the upcoming mondays that have preference ,0.0
44150,owww god drop by    instablogscom,2.0
44151,emilyosment do u have cadbury minieggs in america  those are awesome ,0.0
44152,i always mess things up i fucked up the one good thing i had going in my life which was a girlfriend who loved me more than anything she always put me first and cared for me but i never seemed to do the right thing for her i felt like such a failure to her but considered myself lucky i had her and now shes goneim  have been depressed since i was  and lost the only person i could try and open up to she loved me more than my parents it seemed and i went and pushed her away forever all i had to do was be honest with her and i was too scared shed leave me forever if i was she wanted a future and kids with me and so did i but i ruined everything i truly loved her more than anyone on earth yet i could never fully show it since i was always so fucking sad all the time i had a nice long post detailing how i got here typed out but it doesnt matter anymore ive always been a screw up and ill never change i have nothing in life giving me happiness except the thought of never waking up againim sorry alexa,3.0
44153,one load of washing put away and another load on amazing how the house doesnt look any better for all my efforts ,2.0
44154,phonefinder  i highly recommends you join  you can earn money from free shareholder by dividends even you do nothing ,0.0
44155, thats cool  i didnt mean to knock you at all i was just getting frustrated last night by adam fans that were so upset,0.0
44156,rt briancdoan paramount pictures mental health break ,2.0
44157,cowboyjdanos thanks dear ,0.0
44158,cheap voor een  inch wel conform specs  httptwurlnljovhlc,0.0
44159,depression is like a timer that seems to never go off just endless waiting for the next day hoping that it will be better than today,3.0
44160,djjensenhouse hello im really good you ive just spent the weekend down your way  went to marwell zoo today ,0.0
44161, hahahaha mi moms boss use to be a ticket scalper so he told me all the tricks ,0.0
44162,nadal is ruthless  against hewitt vamos rafa  french open champ ,0.0
44163,seethers rendition of quotcareless whispersquot is awesome just saying ,0.0
44164,cinnia pack me in your suitcase please ,0.0
44165,robert pattinson gets attacked by fans in ny that sucks  ,2.0
44166,lordsart  thinking of going in the armed forces pat  we built a military wedding section just for you   w more coming soon,0.0
44167,coollike do it ,0.0
44168,okay really going to sleep now to act as dividers tweetie doesnt allow me to put the contest entry ,0.0
44169,the sun is blazing too bad about the exams ,2.0
44170,nearly every school textbook comes with a pdf version on cd  except the ones we bought oh they can sell us one customerservicefail ,2.0
44171,what do you do all day in my holidays i dont know what to do with myself usually i just sit around playing video games or watch movies and i cant enjoy any of it because i feel like im wasting my time i cant consentrate enough to get anything meaningfull out of it my state of mind is allways like i should be sleeping and i cant motivate myself to do anything if i somehow do my anxeity makes me not do it anyways i feel misearable and i think im suicidal but i keep doubting myself because maybe im just being over dramatic,3.0
44172, oh i remember her she won roland garros in  didnt she i believe she hasnt been able to play since  due to injuries ,2.0
44173,samjmoody its not mothers day in the uk when is it and oh well happy americna mothers day ,0.0
44174,hand spinner tri fidget adhd anxiety austim stress reducer desk toy edc metal  via ebay ,1.0
44175,good job brryab jackson ,0.0
44176,xupeikai thats the prototype one i was telling you bout  too bad its a grand ,2.0
44177,watching clueless   home ,0.0
44178,amomtwoboys no live baby viewings for you then ,2.0
44179,medication is it worth it to get medicated what is your experience before and after,3.0
44180,i hate disappointment but its true what they say if its too good to be true it probably is ,2.0
44181,figgity fick fck i just burnt the hell outta my finger ,2.0
44182,ryanflynn it was an amazing game well except for the last three minutes when we tied ,2.0
44183,dyonto you could do a select case then manually set each number to the month name you want  haha,0.0
44184,themonkeyboy cool should be another good night ,0.0
44185,tiarala youre making me want to go get a pedi im too tough on my hands for fancy nails toes however doubt anyone has an opening ,2.0
44186,skeletor is my anxiety,2.0
44187,rt taekmyheart incase youre sad or your tl is ugly ,2.0
44188,what has happened to me so back in june  i smoked weed with my friends for the first time just turned  was doing it everyday for about a week and a half then smoked sporadically up until early august and i didnt even enjoy the feeling of being high i was just doing it because i thought it was cool of courseon the third day of my pothead adventures i took way too many hits of a pipe for a recently new smoker about  in  minutes and i was high as a kite trapped in my head and started thinking about how i didnt want to be high anymore and of course i couldnt switch the highness offi had a full blown anxiety attack and stupidly kept smoking during the attack only making things worse i was on the floor and freaking the hell out the world was taking on a greenish tint and my heart was beating so quick i was convinced that i was going to die and i was imagining god telling me i shouldve never smoked weedi was on the floor for a good  minutes and i got up thinking i was fine to carry onever since then up til now  ive developed many mental issues overtime ive had social anxiety since about  years old but i could just power my way over it and actually knew how to act to be liked be literally everybody now its  worse i dont trust anybody anymore i cant connect with anybody anymore i give off none of my personality i express nothing im getting social anxiety talking with my own family that ive lived with my whole life my brain doesnt even react to what people say its just full of clutter and a slight numbness and i feel crazy anxiety just looking people in the eyes now i feel so awkward talking to everyone now and feel like its making me lose all my friends im frightened of judgement now like i have  confidence my depression instantly got  worse after the bad trip i began distrusting everyone around me and got void of all happiness in my character derealization for sure depersonalization im not  sure i developed actual anxiety i think gad visual snow constant brain fog i dont process the world around me correctly anymore i can telli can never fully relax i have stress pulses in the left side of my temple i cant get immersed in anything i am constantly stuck in my head like imaware of being aware its not even like its a natural being stuck in my head its more like i never forget to think for example ill wake up and instantly notice somethings different and my brain will instantly jump to thinking and overthinking overanalyzing i hate being stuck in my headas well as being stuck in my head theres this little voice that consciously tries to make everything worse like it actually says it this will make things worse and purposely do something like purposely be more awkward purposely be more depressed purposely be more anxious and its kind of like a villain ive made up in my head that experiments on me that im powerless to stopand finally my brain sometimes will feel so anxious so stressed and so bereft of confidence that ill go into this state of thinking where i feel like everything is bad and ruined its hard to describe but its like your thinking loses all rationality and goes into a black hole where there is nothing you feel but powerlessness grayness emptiness and sadness this can happen at school at home on the bus anywheream i going crazy  i dont know anymore my quality of life has gone to shit though everyday is a struggle and i dont really want to live anymore im scared ive permanently scarred my brain and ill never have a life again i just feel like my spirit died before i physically died i just want to be normal again i wasam a person with such a strong and warm character ive moved around the world but the past two years of my life have been extremely challenging and i passed it but i smoked that weed and it seems to have killed me before i actually died i feel like ive gone somewhere mentally no human is supposed to go,3.0
44189,getting ready for a busy day off spending it with the grandchildren ,0.0
44190,imfreshtodef im missing the trainwreckbraintrust meeting  xoxo jb i cant impaire your judgement  and make gaybabies,2.0
44191,shares my multiply site httpdaynasormultiplycom ,0.0
44192,is listening to metallica blisfully unaware of his colleagues hollering at him ,0.0
44193,wow my computer has such good speakers yay  i love music,0.0
44194,tweetlord is a twitter role playing game check us out at httpwwwtweetlordcom we have adorable avatars and funky items  tlgame,0.0
44195,i cant sleep my thoughts are racing and i have no one to talk to in real life so ill just post it here even though no one cares i hate how lonely i feel my parents r disappointed in me and even tho im blessed to have a good family they always wanted more out of me on top of thati got no friends no one gives a shit about my life also i used to be religious and that gave my life a purpose but now im going thru college and realizing i dont believe in a god anymore and its made me realize that theres really no point in life i used to stay away from weed nic and booze cuz my parents told me to but now its the only thing that makes me happy but the happiness is so short like ill get day drunk n be happy for like  hours and then back to feeling shitty or ill smoke n get buzzed for a few minutes n then back to shit or smoke weed n feel good for an hour n then ill feel bad again its just made me realize that even cutting all that out which i do from time to time what does it matter i want to die i want nothingness i want to be done with life i hope im right that religion is a lie bc i dont want to be alive for an eternity i want nothingness i want peace i didnt ask to be born no one loves memy ex hates me the girl i hooked up with one night hates me her friends hate me my roommates hate me no one fucking likes me and i try so hard to be kind to everyone i just want to die i just want to be dead so bad but if i kill myself ill let people down i want a car to run me over i made one friend in college one fucking friend and hes moving to a different state next semester im so fucking lonely i hate my life i want death i want the afterlife to be a lie i want peace i hate being the nice guy give me a better description fucking anything its always been oh him hes nice doesnt really talk though i fucking hate it also im not passionate about anything anymore and thats my biggest insecurity,3.0
44196,courtneyjbvfchs i love it ,0.0
44197, i still cant get twitter on my phone it wont even take my number when i try to set it up  ,2.0
44198,i feel like im getting sick again i was sick for  weeks last time man ,2.0
44199,notsoniceangel glad you had a good time ,0.0
44200,the official result came out pr won  seats whereas bn only  seat congratulations pr ,0.0
44201,sadboys sadboyswhat u gonna do when the depression comes for u,0.0
44202,depression,2.0
44203,s stomach still hurtsi dont know what im gonna do next  ,2.0
44204,im trying my hardest to help people but its not working i feel absolutely useless god long post exhausted sorry idk if this fits the sub i looked over and it doesnt seem like its against the rules but if it is then im really sorry i do have depression myself but im not entirely sure if its in the mix here but i think it is somewhat i have two online friends were gonna call them caleb and amelia on one hand caleb has been suicidal for the past couple of months and i have been trying to console them hes been pushing me away i think and he just blocked everyone on his private twitter account so he can talk freely about wanting to kill himself and whenever i try to talk to him he just fucking shrugs it off and he mentioned doing embroidery and i asked what he was making and he got really mad and said none of your fucking business i didnt ask it rudely and i was still consoling him and i know its best to get his mind off things so i dont know why he was so mad and i just want him to feel better but i feel like ive run out of options i dont know what to do i keep trying to help but its not working and i just feel uselessother hand amelia has been my friend for a real long time and her father just killed himself i dont even know what to do here of course i consoled her but i cant say anything i cant relate i dont know how to comfort or tell her everythings gonna be okay because despite knowing they will be its still so fucking scary and she hasnt texted me much and im not sure if its be alright to text her because i cant imagine the fucking pain shes in third hand that we all have is just that this is gonna sound petty as shit but i also feel like nobody cares about me i dont even have a fucking excuse i just ive been trying to speak to people and have them care about me and have people like my art and nobody fucking does nobody likes me nobody fucking cares and i cant do anything right and im gonna die unhappy and a failure and it frustrates me real bad that i feel like this because ive got to be there for my friends but theres so much weight on me and i just wish i was a better fucking person who people cared about and not just a shoulder to lean on but thats so fucking selfish i dont know im so mad and upset and i dont know i just wanna fucking disappear because every time i try to make anyone happy it either gets ignored and or hated on and i just want to stop being a negative impact on the god damn world mmmmmmmmmm,3.0
44205,stevekennedyuk   hope it all goes well with the netapp steve,0.0
44206,being honest i feel like everything i do needs to be perfect and its ruining my life i cant go a single moment without obsessing over the time im doing something or the number of things i acquire etc does this sound like ocd to any of you i dont want to admit it to myself but its starting to look like it,3.0
44207,also there is no way that ontd fell off of the list were still trending more than anything else twitter removed it ,2.0
44208,realdmitchell thanks again  for the reminder about mampw look we need reminding because sky will not allow series link on that show ,2.0
44209,yay dustin bed time for us  nighty night,0.0
44210,what does anhedonia and depression feel like hey im  and i have anxiety mainly health anxiety and ive been worrying that i might have depression and anhedonia but i still feel emotions but not as strongly anymore like today i laughed a couple times but i didnt feel too happy when i laughed and also i thought of some good memories and smiled with happiness and nostalgia but that happiness was shortlasting i have a couple questionsare normal people happy and content when theyre just walking around doing nothingdo people with anhedonia still laugh and smile legitimately do people with depression and anhedonia feel emotions like say someone was murdered in front of them would they be shocked and upset or would they feel nothingwhat does it feel like to have depression and anhedoniasorry if this offends anyone i dont mean any insult thanks d,3.0
44211,what a shit day it is in the uk today umulum i wish your laptop worked  twitter isnt the same doll xoxo,2.0
44212,biondoworld buongiorno 😊 è uno spoiler di sicuro spero che sia di cristalli 😅 ma come mai a questora di notte ,2.0
44213,ddlovato is that spanish ,0.0
44214,marawitch only if i can serve it in a tiny skull ,0.0
44215,life is good ,0.0
44216,sassysenna texts yes he did and he didnt even notice until rebeccablack said something about it ,2.0
44217,hi everybody  just testing   i hope you all are doing well  shabbat shalom ,0.0
44218,macbook    kms  stale epic fail ,2.0
44219,why cant i escape this crippling shadow that follows me im just gonna vent a bit i dont do that almost never but i found this subreddit and it looks like its filled with amazing people so why not writing some linesi remember few weeks ago i was jumping here and there at work filled with energy and focus then i came back on a monday and getting up to get the bus that takes me there felt incredibly difficult and it took just one boring and empty weekend to put me down like that few months ago i left my country and moved abroad with the hope of creating a new life filled with the achievement of finding a job here while still living in my country but now it seems pointless i left my family my friends even if the majority of them only cared superficially or maybe is just my impression and now i am alone i dont want to go out and meet new people because it feels like a huge effort for no results at all i started feeling my mood shifting from feeling useless to pure anger and im making my girlfriend life more difficult she lives in another city so we dont see each other that often at work i feel like im not good enough that im the dumb guy and not speaking the language only amplifies it but i know that maybe in two weeks i will feel better at least i hope its just so tiring to keep escaping from this fucking shadow that really doesnt want to let me go and here i am trying to find any excuse to not go to sleep just because i dont want another day to be started and on top of all this i dont even know if i have depression i never been to a specialist and i feel a fraud even about thatsorry for the long rant if anyone found this somewhat relatable id be happy to know but even if no one reads this is fine as i said i just needed to vent a bit but i have so many thoughts in my head that i cant collect now and it feels like it was wasted time anyway and i feel like im waiting your time making you read my boring thoughts so if youre still reading thanks for getting a glimpse of my life feel free to share a glimpse of yours id be happy to read that ,3.0
44220,futuredirected thats a good idea ,0.0
44221,i have a bad cold  back to schoolll  netball match on tuesdaywe have to win lol my bday next week,2.0
44222,gettin ready to get schwastedddd ,0.0
44223,grabbing some dinner at the mall with rachel then going back to the park ,0.0
44224,rt okknavi literally everything httpstcotdigospebk,2.0
44225,carlynsarino yeah hes back but not for long ata not enough time for us to go to tagaytay when hes back for good ,0.0
44226,sorry for spamming your twitter homepages im a mean person with no life ,2.0
44227,tommcfly wish you could answer me mimimimimi   aueuauahuaeuhaehuaeuaeuae,2.0
44228,oheyzitlali its really good sad but amazing edit ❤,0.0
44229,andrewtaranto lmao  thanks for that andrew er i mean hershey ,0.0
44230,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
44231,is going now lav ,0.0
44232,douglas kennedy is in the building he looks better in reality than in picture and hearing him speaking french is lovely ,0.0
44233,is supposed to work for university but the construction sight close by makes contant noise ,2.0
44234,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
44235,sometime ull see simon cowell appreciateing ppl ,0.0
44236,finding me a sugar daddy ,0.0
44237,oraclebfisher thanks for the info ,0.0
44238,off to audi poof  ,0.0
44239,deekaay i miss when the trending topics were denver nuggets and all the things that go along with that ,2.0
44240,i just ate some of the pokemon macncheese it really is  times better than normal macncheese ,0.0
44241,daisyvega ill be your prom date  haha,0.0
44242,cynnergies awesome nite im going to call a dear friend of mine ,0.0
44243,goodnight everyone i cant think about the fact that i gotta wake up in a couple of hours goodnight ,0.0
44244,rt severalmonsters  chvschpr  improvements• better training—psych amp bias• good psych evals• consequences  dmgs no,2.0
44245,thisisdavina welcome to twitter  cant believe took you this long to get one oo lol,0.0
44246,new car radio so happy it gives me goosebumps ,0.0
44247,ydurran everytime i see myself in a video i wish i looked cooler ,0.0
44248, hour phofinally ,0.0
44249,rt swiftsballinger you make me so happy it turns back to sad httpstcoizahianndr,0.0
44250,very close to giving upfeel actually sick with nerves about this exam ,2.0
44251,not feeling too great today ,2.0
44252,feels like a headache is on the way ,2.0
44253,some stupid poem i wrote there was once a simple boyhe was nothing special quirky or newand in his life he felt little joyall he wanted was to feel loved too,3.0
44254,rt eztitty cant sleep bc of anxiety for tomorrow which is making me less prepared for tomorrow which is giving me more anxiety which is k,2.0
44255,listening my moms conversation ,0.0
44256,i miss my emotionally manipulative ex i feel so lonely and im purposefully blocking him out of my life but whats the point i feel like i should just talk to him again and enjoy the good times while they last and face the inevitable heartbreak when it comes hes the only person whos ever understood my depression but hes also someone whos made it so much worse over the past  years,3.0
44257,dingbatrk ooh tawny  math prep ,2.0
44258,wanderingstacy hi happy june  to you too   ahhhhhh its june already this year is going by at warp speed,0.0
44259,rt healingmb benefits of yoga  amazing for our for mental health yoga healing mindfulness meditation healing ,0.0
44260,im losing my ground   someone help ,2.0
44261,louisdineyogi oh wordd appreciate that ,0.0
44262,thank you i recently posted my suicide note but the biggest and most important subreddit in my life was this one for years i would read posts and would feel like im not alone recently it has gotten worst but thats okay i guess i wasnt meant for all thisjust wanted to thank this subreddit for delaying my suicide for years thank you i how everyone in here gets better i love you,3.0
44263,when your anxiety makes you constantly feel nauseous its been almost a week ugh 🤢,2.0
44264,i dont wanna stay seriously i dont wanna stay alive here is my story   i graduated from uwaterloo a school known for coop and i was kicked out of the coop program cuz i couldnt find a job  i admit that i was stubborn lazy and isolated myself from help so i failed to my first job and blew the second chance for a while after that i felt like a failure my grades plummeted but over time that feeling just started to fade away along with my desires for pretty much anything i no longer wanted anything for years i wore the same clothes didnt get anything new unless its absolutely unusable i just dont care anymore   whats the point of living if you have no desire for its benefits and only suffer from its pain so i though about suicide and attempted many times i hated myself the most when i wake up again knowing that i failed i deliberately did not go see a therapist because i want to get worse so bad that i can overcome my bodys survival instinct i even sat through a fire alarm hoping that it was a real deal and will kill me  my suicide attempts were not rash decisions i think about it for weeks i finish my assignments so that i dont have to worry about them in case i fail   i am now taking a udemy course studying to be a software developer because i need money i need a job to live i need to live because i cannot die from experience even this day i still wish that i succeeded in one of those previous attempts yes my main reason for living is that i cannot die i cannot overcome my bodys survival instinct while i do appreciate the existence of my friends and the supports they have given me over the years i dont wanna hurt them by killing myself but sometimes suicidal decisions are just choosing between something shitty and something shittier i know i can live a very successful life i believe in my abilities but i just dont want to do it i dont wanna go through all those pain just for some benefits which i dont even think is worth   life is a state that the parents got the child into where neither parties remember asking for giving out consent our society works in a way that not only are people supposed to be alive with the exception of extreme cases people are supposed to want to  if you dont wanna live guess what you are mentally ill its wrong you need a therapist to fix that our society considers the continuation of our species as top priority not me i dont give a fuck about how the future of humanity turns out i am not introducing another being into this state called life which i think is totally not worth im not gonna have a kid even if that means the extinction of the human race  yes i am now talking about antinatalism i remember telling them about not having kids and they accept it but will randomly bring it up like in chinese new years talking about the things i did when i was little then says something like their future grand kids will do the same maybe im too sensitive about it but what pisses me off the most is one of my dads cousin told him to tell me to get marriedhave kids soon just so that my grandma can have a great grandchild what the fuck creating a life for the sake of entertaining the elder once again i guess im too sensitive about it  having a child is such a selfish decision when i was talking to my parents about it they countered with the arguments such as what is bill gates was never born well bill gatess contribution is the consequence of his birth not the reason why his parents had him   the main reason people have kids would be to satisfy their own desires of becoming parents period how many people asks themselves the question what if my child regrets coming to this world   ok i dont even know where i m going with this but i know my parents tried their best to raise me but i am not thankful to them for giving me life its like teaching a fish how to live out of water just not gonna work    even till this day i dont wanna live i just want to die asap,3.0
44265,going to lay out since its finally acting like summer around here ,0.0
44266,jordanknight sad give it to you skips on my cd now  have had it for  years so maybe i should get a new copy ha ha,2.0
44267,ive been kicked out of my own blog so i cant update ,2.0
44268,sgtshefish lakers fan like my hubby ,0.0
44269,frick the place is closed ,2.0
44270,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
44271,farseeker laaame  i want to go skating ,2.0
44272,facup i dont support either team but id rather see everton win because chelsea i just well scummy ,0.0
44273,about to start doing laundry ,2.0
44274, let me know where your book preview will be posted please  might help me with my  writing  i think i need a bit ,0.0
44275,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
44276,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,2.0
44277,popjustice odd yet refreshing ,0.0
44278,toptiddles  i feel like such a knob now cos i never got to the bookies ,2.0
44279,im so tired im going to be in school until im  and im  now i find it impossible to work at the same time because i get so stressed and end up having mental breakdowns on top of that all the doctors appointments taxes loans ill be paying for almost forever self care dealing with people in public social anxiety on the commute to school worrying about losing my health insurance in a couple years etc things i have to worry about i find taking a shower every day a hassle and do it as little as possible as long as ppl arent around to smell me idk how most people do all of this and manage to function and be happy because of this i need my parents support if they die ill be left alone and probably make myself homeless eventually because im so dependent on them and feel like a child mentally i dont want to be in school or work there is nothing im passionate about all i want to do is play video games but that always loses its joy too i just dont see the point in working for the rest of my life for majority of my time i dont want kids or a great career so whats left i get angry at my sister having kids because then i feel more guilty about wanting to die because then my niece and nephew who care about me will know if i go through with it and i dont want to hurt anyone sorry if this is really disorganized im currently at my gyn appointment which is  minutes late thinking about all the work i have to do this semester and i know i sound lazy and negative i just wasnt built for a world like this i cant handle all the responsibilities my younger sister is a lot more independent and motivated than i am even though we had similar upbringings why am i like this i also have anxiety always expecting something terrible to happen like my parents dying my sister committing suicide getting kicked out of school getting a terrible disease that will require more selfmaintenance etc i have feelings of deja vu where ill think this is it something terrible is about to happen im tired of everything and wish i could be the child who can help my parents financially and was normal sorry i sound like a cry baby but i would gladly give my life to someone else as its a relatively good life compared to what others have but i am the problem,3.0
44280,back from registration for wwdc all my main gear is sorted now to tidy up my stuff in the apartment and get ready to get to the hotel ,0.0
44281,i fucked up i fucked up i made a mistake in the past that i thought was gone and now after ive had a horrible day its come back i just wanna run away and die,3.0
44282,happy mothers day this is what i go my ma  yes those are real diamonds  what did you do for your mother,0.0
44283,watarigoro yeahmomotaros is my favorite toohahaman cant get enough of the imajin ,0.0
44284,rawrsavvy lmaoo dam  i tried   ,2.0
44285,why do people like me while i do not  why dont i while they do  i had a conversation with my best friend i was quite down i told her i didnt value my life and that was why i do not look when i cross the road this did hurt her she told me she said it is hurtful to the people who like mewhy  why do people like me  they say im funny and nice but i keep self deprecating how can they like me if i cant  and how cant i like me if they can  why cant i feel great when they try to cheer me up  why cant i feel loved when they are around  do they lie  or is my heart blind  am i that selfish and that apathetic i am so tired of this i am tired of having to exist,3.0
44286,still here but not sure why im here but im not really sure what to do at this point i got rid of my facebook page about a week ago and frankly im not sure half my friends on there have noticed ive honestly just spent the last few days feeling so lost that i dont really care what happens next this isnt the first time where ive had stretches where im forcing myself through a few days but this is much worse people are saying now that  is the new  and they might be rightbecause i was depressed lost and ready to give up when i was  tooi had a therapy session last week but i didnt really have a chance to tell my therapist that it may be my last time going to see her for a while between that my knee which has compounded everything since i cant run right now and my other expenses pretty much everything about me is decaying into ruinbefore we ended the session my therapist asked some standard questions regarding my current mental state apparently i didnt give very good answers she knows ive been dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness but one of her questions was what stopped you from going through with those plans my responsebecause that means my debt gets passed on to my brothersnot what it would do to my friends and family not the spiritual repercussions its the fear of putting my brothers deeper in debt that keeps me around what kind of fucking life is thatnow im probably going to stay home tomorrow because i dont think im in any condition to be at work but the knowledge that i have to put myself into a deeper hole in the hope that i can get out of the current one is frankly a lot to bear    im going to be  in a couple years and i still think like this ive never felt so worthless,3.0
44287,wont someone please invent mosquitoproof tights apparently i was the main dish at their banquet yesterday ,2.0
44288,a sick shitty world is the main cause of most of our afflictions just wanted to make this post because as an unaware youngin i thought for many years that something is essentially wrong with me when in reality my issues wereare for the most part simply a reflection of the total mess i grew up in im  now and for the past  years or so ive been intensively analyzing my past and my messed up life up to this point im now slowly beginning to realize the vast scope of mistreatment ive been subjected to from the earliest years from an early broken home growing up with a utterly psychopatic cold mean narcissistic mother and a subhuman stepfather i only now realize how utterly sick my home situation is to being subtly ostracized by the opposite sex and people in general my whole life because of my weak looks and then being abused with psychiatric medications by various psychiatrists all their meds just made me worse and last but not least to being generally exposed to a sick subhuman society full of toxicity hate negativity jealousy and shitty lowlevel vibes i didnt realize all these things were affecting me in such a sick way because these conditions were all i ever knew i used to be really dumb and didnt realize and understand how this abusive inhumane past and a lack of basic human conditions and support has gradually made me into this depressed lifeless braindead mess psychiatrists love to hang on to their stupid little chemical imbalance theories so they can then push all these big pharma meds on us while they are for the most part completely ignoring all the real and actual causes of our problems the obvious truth is its the world thats hurting people in various ways and making them sick in one form or another i have been to at least  or  psychiatrists in my lifetime starting from age  and none of them was even remotely curious about whats really going on with me who am i as a person whats my pasthistory whats been my childhood situation and what i have been through they were all more or less in a hurry to prescribe me these random useless pills that never did anything for me they never even gave me slightest bit of advice on how to improve my mood for example i had to find out for myself that intense aerobic exercise can actually lift your spirits in a significant way i have discovered so many helpful tips and tricks online in the past few years stuff that i would never get from some typical stupid careless fake psychiatristthe truth is that family and loving relationships are a main staple of mental health no psychiatrist nowadays wants to deal with that in my experience their pill agenda is their only interest but if people would only love and help each other instead of being stupid egotistical assholes all these mental illness rates would drop significantly and there would be no psychiatrists to be able to feed you all that chemical crap all you need is love sounds a bit corny at a first look but its actually true nowadays im keeping mostly to myself working on myself and finding my own ways to help myself i have become quite a misanthrope in the past few years and i think its pretty inevitable once you start truly opening your eyes to a bullshit fake retarded world around you a world thats based on success money ego and meaningless competition instead on community humanity family and wellbeing of children,3.0
44289,pyromantik no i didnt wanna go near it ,2.0
44290,not feeling good ,2.0
44291,and now the leg is shaved  getting dressed now is it weird that i picked out  options for today,0.0
44292,laying down my spine said absolutely no more halo after only  games i was hoping i had at least one more in me ,2.0
44293, hello ellie  long time no talk how r u hope all is well  have a nice day much love xxx jaredleto ,0.0
44294,stupid braces are making my lips so dry ,2.0
44295,please can someone just speak to me i just want someone to talk to i feel so alone and like i just should not exist,3.0
44296,paranoid self harming etc i think im ruining my life i have only worked  day in the past week and a half i have a good job i dont like it but its a good job other than that one day worked i have only left my apartment once in the pasttwo weeks i think that was for a psychiatry appointment who i see once every two weeks i have a therapist that i see regularly i did a partial hospitalization program for one month in novdec i tried killing myself in oct which led to me going into that program on my own recently i have started self harming daily something i used to do maybe a few times a week but its gotten so bad that im running out of room on my thighs ive been having really intrusive thoughts lately about suicide i dreamt i stabbed myself in the stomach and thought thats actually not that crazy self harming doesnt even do anything for me really i dont do it when im upset i do it almost habitually i recently cut my neck and im worried it will just escalate im worried i will lose my job im paranoid i dont want to reread this to check if it makes sense i dont even know what im asking if anything maybe just to put it out there,3.0
44297,oh my god im at work soooooooooooo tired i just want to go back to sleep and wake up sometime next year is that so much to ask ,2.0
44298,beauuuuuuuuutiful out caramel iced coffee lady gaga blaing heading to the gym  grad party later,0.0
44299,a day without my phone ,0.0
44300,ahh twittedfon all fixed ,0.0
44301,ddlovato haha you crack me up girl ,0.0
44302,movie was ok i guess wish they hadnt left out the airplane that takes robert from boston to switzerland in one and a half hour ,0.0
44303,im trapped new to this channel im hoping it can help or i can at least help someone else i am a  small town girl and i just moved to phoenix for a job and im making almost  a year but im miserable im sitting in front of my toilet now after throwing up which is becoming a morning ritual before i go to work because of the anxietyi miss my family i have no support here i have a friend that lives  minutes away and a coworker friend that works on a different team but i feel guilty only talking about my issues and like they are going to get bored or done with me i cant stand going to work on my team my boss and senior engineer are very friendly and encouraging but the rest of my team has no interest in taking to me or getting to know me and with my anxiety i have convinced myself everyone hates me everytime i am behind or i make a mistake i get this crippling anxiety and my night ends in panic attacks and tearsi have to be here at least a year or else i have to return my starting bonus ive only been here four months and i feel financially trapped i have debts i need this job to help me pay off that i probably cant otherwise i will be in the shower crying and recently started trying to take apart my razor i feel like i cant even function anymore i cant even put my things away from my trip because then it is really over and i realize it makes no sense but thats what runs through my mind my job has no work life balance and i feel like all i do is work come home walk my dog and go to bed i have no lifei am tired of struggling im tired of crying everytime i am alone and feeling like i cant breathe im tired of throwing up every morning because of my anxiety i have always struggled with anxiety and depression but it has never made me physically ill before my family misses me and also wants me to move back and it was awful leaving somewhere where i am loved and wanted to come to a place where people could care less and judge meto top it off my grandfather passed shortly after christmas and i was in an accident  miles from my house after a  hour drive now today i have to go back to a job that i feel i am not good at and where i feel very unwanted im so tired i feel like a failure if i quit and go back and start over the girl that made it big and couldnt take the heat its embarrassing,3.0
44304,theminimarie i dont want too ,2.0
44305,djmatao doesnt matter now they just commented my myspace ,0.0
44306,just biked  miles with mom now have a nice glass of pino by the pool ,0.0
44307,just ran  miles still havent had supper ,2.0
44308,is enjoying listening to radio   everyone should d,0.0
44309,good knight happy jonathanrknight dreams ,0.0
44310,wtfs the holdup waterstones online bring me my books  ,2.0
44311,relationship with depressed person ive been with my girlfriend for nearly  months now  she has severe clinical depression and has been hospitalized for it in the past  when we first met she was in a better state and the relationship was pretty amazing by all means  she had even told me she felt me being in her life was improving her conditionover the last  months her condition has steadily deteriorated and she has become very distant  she has also returned to therapy  she told me she wants to take a break from the relationship as she feels its overwhelming her  we sometimes go days without texting and even when i occasionally initiate i dont get a responsedespite her depression she has so many qualities in her that i absolutely love and when she was in a better state of mind we could often talks for hours without a pause  i would really like to maintain this relationship as i do care for her deeply and i do see a future with her  for those of you in a similar situation or those of you suffering from depression how would you approach this  is there a way to be proactive about the relationship other than just leaving her alone for the time being,3.0
44312, nope they dont ask for your billing info or make you buy anything they just need you to be  n from usa oh n they pay weekly ,0.0
44313,please help hi im from vietnam  excused for my bad english i am suffering from depression anxiety and bipolar disorder for almost a year for the first  months i was studying in a different city as where my family lives i spend most of the time at home lying in bed and be depressed just lying trying to sleep  to forget about the reality i was too terified of anything even any close friend or relative that i hide myself in the dark all day and only come out at  am to buy food amp supply it was a black hole indeed so lucky that i was such a coward to make my suicide thought become real and then when my family couldnt get in touch with me they flew over and force me to move in with them and i got better thanks got and thks to all those motivation and empathy on this sub that makes me feel alive again i was able to go out again playing with my neice she is  months now an angel and finally having a slice hope inside of me that this life still make sense and that my existence in this world have meaningand then it come back again sometime at night sometime in the middle of the night it keeps crawling back at me playing with my head just like that monster in the stranger things does to that poor will kid i feel like it sucks something out of me slowly carefully sucks part and part of my soul out of my body and there i am in the middle of my happy family whom i feel really connected with being lonely as nothing in the world is important again as i will never find someone who could understand me as a part of me is gone forever a part of my soul is dissapeared like voldermort when one of his horcrux was destroyedplease help anyone anyone who have feeling just like me i dont want to come back that black hole again it is coming at me and i dont know what to do,3.0
44314,bonus beauty tip dont stick a mascara wand up your ha ha even if it vibrates  lmao,0.0
44315,tommcfly and i cant believe you didnt come see the fans hosted at hiltons on thursday and friday im gonna kill you mr fletcher ,0.0
44316,fer sher maybe fer sher not ,0.0
44317,rt  hello my name is diana graber i am sharikas neighbor sharika is in the hospital she tried to commit suicide her c,2.0
44318,is pissed and pissed off cos ponderland isnt on rustyrockets is not here ,2.0
44319,done eating  twas a lame dinner for  mey ,0.0
44320,woke up on the good side of the bed this morning and i glad the sun is shining ,0.0
44321,its going to be a gorgeous day for a chicago wedding ,0.0
44322,black sheep promos look awesome they will be up tonight or tomorrow ,0.0
44323,im lost in the store ,2.0
44324,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
44325,deniserichards a man loves his sweetheart the most his wife the best but his mother the longest happy mothers day ,0.0
44326,rt igasuphoes me looking for the culprit of my anxiety and depression when im the person who cause it ,2.0
44327,tamichynn where are you i signed into ichat and you werent on ,2.0
44328,serenehours well im not passed out in the bath tub yet so party is still going  ,0.0
44329,it back to normal ,2.0
44330,rt healthyplace seek depression counseling to help you cope new   mentalhealth bipolardepression anxiety,2.0
44331,where i am in life  i dont usually do stuff like this i just thought id see where other people in my situation are because i know theres way worse and people that go through what i do im a male  year old and i live a farely good life middle class have a little bit of money get mostly what i really want need roof over my head everythings fine but when it comes to real mental issues its all down hill my mom suffers from depression bipolar disorder chronic anxiety etc shes been so bad to the point where shes told me her  year old kid she wanted to kill herself it really affected me and i dont remember the last time where everything was ok my parents live together and my brother just moved back in after years of drug abuse and dealing with his blood mother  shes a heavy drug user and has influenced him badly  my father works alot and is fairly quiet recently last year i started smoking a lot  every day of the week including in school to smoking  grams a day on weekends  ive only done pot and dont want to rely on it to make me forget everything i havent seen a therapist and only talk to people im close with about everything some days nothing affects me at all and some it gets really bad my mother complains every day about how shitty she feels and blames most the family she constantly stresses everyone out and basically bullies me and my brother  him being   talks about how bad people we are how shes failed me and him as a kid  me and my brother have same dad different mom  i really think about these things and how depressing my household is im not sure what to do as im only  and wanna finish highschool no matter how much my mom dosent think i will and constantly tells me ill fail and end up like my brother i dont wanna rely on drugs to make me forget and make me feel happy id love some advice from other people and sorry for the long essay,3.0
44332,certifiedhtchic wut up ,0.0
44333,i miss david  but hes kinda mad at me,2.0
44334,others lorissl i have no idea what guarana is but voddie sounds good  thanks want some cider im  ,0.0
44335,antidepressants depression tied to increased thromboembolism risk  vía medscape,2.0
44336,saidagp you know your letter is wonderful  and i hope that some of  ways will come true ,0.0
44337,believe it or not im in love with a book right now ,0.0
44338,ugh updating counters takes sooooooo long sometimes  zzzz,2.0
44339,itsmestacy im a mac guy myself so i gotta respect your decision ,0.0
44340,off to the dentist ,2.0
44341, where am i im at my computer i hope youre not trying to stalk me  i dont need one of those today lol,2.0
44342,rt markdice jack jack many democrats are seeing therapists for their trump anxiety disorder  many are literally mentally ill and yo,2.0
44343,kevinwolf aaaaack  i cant imagine that if jill picked a bone it was unwarrented did i say that right,2.0
44344, haha well schools hardly thrilling the most exciting part was my last ever re lesson ,0.0
44345,information processing flaw within my brain this is just a theory ive come up with to rationalize what is wrong with meprobably sometime after grade school i started subconsciously processing information in a very unusual way somehow my brain started registering information that i have just received as distant memories for awhile i thought i was going deaf because i could never make out what people were saying without asking them to repeat themselves i eventually realized that even though it felt like i couldnt hear them i was able to remember what they had just said by trying to recall the information from my memoryas time went on i started experiencing multiple deja vu like scenarios the teacher would cover a subject we have not covered for the first time and i knew for a fact that it was the first time weve ever touched the subject but every thing else in the room had happened before except for the first time my classmates would make remarks about something trending and i would get the feeling like ive definitely heard about it before except it would have been impossible to have heard about it since it had just happened this happened very frequently like once or twice a monthit wasnt until i started working that i realized it might just be my brain that was processing the information wrong it was my first job we were doing training for a new process on the assembly line and ive had no prior memories of the people there or anything thing that would be similar to what was going on that day and yet everything felt like another deja vu momentdoes any of that make senseis it even possible for your brain misinterpret newly gained information as a memory of the past,3.0
44346,stopped taking birth control and started hanging out with  more and the fact that gayjayyyyy is mo ,1.0
44347,sweetinfection i know  haha p,2.0
44348,fuck my computer and my task not finish ,2.0
44349,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
44350,first post where do i begin well for starters im an  year old teen with clinical depression ocd anxiety hypochondria and aspergers all my life i have felt different and like i didnt belong because aspergers makes everything feel weird i also have sensory over load and social situations make me go into panic attacks i have also felt like social situations were extremely difficult to traverse and i had to struggle to make sense of social cues which is why i have no friends and no hope for a gf which makes me sad the anxiety makes me constantly hypervigilant and on edge the hypochondria has fed the ocd into a sort of self feeding cycle of have symptom and obsess over it finally the depression makes getting out of bed and being mentally active a herculean task and im also drained and emotionsempathy are dulled by my apathy and anhedonia as for personality i used to be happy but ever since i was  i have been a cynical jaded bitter and angry individual who becomes ever increasingly cynical and hopeless for every terrorist attack murder rape child abuse and the further increase in political tension now for my physical ailments i have myelomengingocele which is the worst type of spina bifida lesion on the   location on my spinal cord near the sacral nerves which brings me to my next point these nerves control bowel and bladder functions as well as muscles in my legs which means i piss and shit myself if im not careful and i have to use urinary catheters and an enema to shit which means i cannot wear underwear i also have chiari malformation type  which gives me chronic headaches vertigo and fucks up my balance to the point where i oscillate if i stand still long with tremors and tinnitus couple all these medical conditions together with the hopelessness of depression and chronic stress of anxiety plus insecurity about my penis and you have the perfect storm of hopelessness bitterness and sadness ps sorry for the long winded post but i have been meaning to get this off my chest for years i hope this gets someones attention,3.0
44351, no problem glad they helped during your time at bath ,0.0
44352,audiorush ohhs at least you get paid right ,0.0
44353,oh man it is raining only all the timewhat i should only doi want sun ,0.0
44354,depression nap  is ago,2.0
44355,worlds worst rollercoaster how do i get off this ride ive been living with depression for about  years i currently take generic zoloft and generic welbutrin and go to therapy every two weeks this combination of treatments has been pretty helpful ive been describing my depression in terms of episodes or worlds worst rollercoaster when i get depressed i go into a slump where i have no energy to do anything no eating no personal hygiene no cleaning my space cant attend class or go to work i can sometimes push myself to do these things but its incredibly draining i have suicidal ideation though i would never follow through with anything its really really difficult to see the point in living or getting out of bed or anything and its a horrible scary feeling it doesnt matter what i do i just feel like im drowning its the downward spiral of the rollercoaster there is no end in sight and im plummeting into the abyssafter a few weeks or a month or two of this the episode will eventually pass and i go back to what i see as my normal self my depression self is not me its important that i make this distinction in my own mind its not like i dont get tired and i still experience negative emotions but they arent so debilitating it feels so incredibly good to be able to get stuff done but i also have to clean up after my depressive self and prepare for the next inevitable episodemy goal with treatment is to allow my real self to come out more often and for longer periods of time with shorter shallower depressive episodes if any at all im not sure if its possible or if it is what i need to take or do but would be so incredibledoes anyone else have the same experience with depression whats helped for you,3.0
44356,sad,2.0
44357,simrichards nah chill u was lovin my grill cheesessss too haa ,0.0
44358,rt vioientyear when  year old me said i wanted my life to be like a lana del rey song i meant diet mountain dew or something not fuckin,0.0
44359,dnotice ive got a rhodesian ridgeback so im sure im ok with the mail and even the bnp ha ha not even a zimbabwean ridgeback ,0.0
44360,today i have been in switzerland for  months one quater of the way done gone by so quickly ,2.0
44361,elizapatricia really hanging  c dhouse have  wait  amazon cos dont get it on tv in oz ,2.0
44362,martinstarr but i will always miss film ,2.0
44363,gmorning gonna workout then call clients ,0.0
44364,im in the strangelovelive chat room but its disabled ,2.0
44365, lol we decided mcdonalds or white castle ,0.0
44366,i know everyone is lonely and shit here but idk if i cant make thru the night to see  im just done at this point i have to work new years at my busy ass restaurant and half my staff call out very thing that can go wrong at work is my family and friends are all celebrating and enjoying themselves and i know i might lose my manager position because i cant get other my anxiety and stress and the one person my best friend who i can turn to and try to feel assurance that my fucked up life isnt a waste is on lockdown with her parents no phone no internet no contact with the outside world i was supposed to spend it with her at work at least but now im outside crying my eyes out and wondering if i should just slit my wrist after work  was the worst year for me and i dont want to see  fuck idk why im posting this but im feel so tired and worn and broken im sorry ,3.0
44367,yoonseon whats your email i can send you an invite right now ,0.0
44368,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
44369,an endless hole i am struggling ive read this sub intermittently over the years but always unsub after a day or so of reading page after page i just cannot bear to see and be reminded so often i have swung in and about of being in denial about my mind i still remember the first time i actually realised that i was depressed i kind of laughed it off to myself hoped that if i ignored it that it might ignore me maybe spare me but that was well over a decade agoi remember years ago i stumbled upon a note my mum had written to herself whilst she had been on a business trip on the other side of the world it was basically a diary entry i shouldnt have read it but i didnt realise what it was i dont remember the exact words but she basically described her hopelessness she basically described me without knowing iti will never forget that note it cemented to me that this was something that i would deal with for the rest of my life and was inescapable it was genetically a part of medespite this my mum hasnt ever been great to talk to about this despite the fact that i know the dark places she has been in she has a just get over it attitude towards me my mum objectively had a much worse and more abusive childhood than me and i often think she thinks that this is the reason for her attitude towards me with these thingsi have always been quite emotional and sensitive but built up a kind of nonchalant attitude over my teen years because i felt shame for being this way i think this has really affected all my relationshipsi feel in such a deep dark hole i have struggled for so long to ever truly connect with anyone and anyone i do find that is in a similar position i again cant stand to be reminded of my position in this lifei was seeing a therapist through my work uk which has ended now and i have left that job in any case and no longer have healthcare through my worki struggle to truly describe what is in my mind to these people despite it being their profession i feel guilt i didnt tell her when i wasnt improving at all actually because i wanted to let her feel like she had done her job wellchronic people pleaser just one small part of the maelstrom that is utterly destroying mei have so many separate holes to pull myself out from and have no idea where to begin i hadhave severe substance abuse issues i have no real career cannot fully support myself  i am the family failure where do i even begin fixing this does anyone honestly have any adviceand thanks to anyone that actually made it this far,3.0
44370,rt sgts sad so very sad for corries kith and kin although unable to lay his remains to rest they appear at least now settled as to w,2.0
44371,i think im not qualified for any kind of jobanything at all so like im still a student and probably to young to know that but lets see the factsim seriously ugly horrible at sports unlike the rest of my class and just generally to weirdly shaped to be a guyim probably trans and dress like that since  grade lol dont even want to be bc its like a death sentence to me and just has so many negative aspects loli have literally no talents or qualifications that would qualify for any kind of job and my grades dont seem better ive gotten so terrible at any subject and my day to day life doesnt seem better i lay in bed all the time dont get school work done am not interested in my hobbies anymore wasnt even good at them to begin with eat like shit binge a lot am moody as hell and i could go on for hours literally even made a extremely long list at some point that had around  aspects im just whining around all the time and seriously consider it my fault for being such a waste of space,3.0
44372,leighblackall  dunedin is such a great place to be   where else can you ski in town,0.0
44373,i wish lmao itll amplify things by  ,0.0
44374,alinztheone anytime glad i could help ,0.0
44375,rt jabbstract i listen to sad music when im sad to make me even more sad ,2.0
44376,noatishby i like the new picturehag sameah ,0.0
44377,sitting in the library and thinking of new places to cut class i hate school  i love sandy ,2.0
44378, sad man the agenda the elite is pushing,0.0
44379,a broken heart i think ive gone through all the types of depressions existential self loathing depression for no reason at all etc but this depression really just makes things more grey than usual i messed up my relationship with a girl that has stuck with me through everything she has saved my life and i took her presence for granted i cant even cry anymore shes tired of me and doesnt want me back and i totally understand that its my fault but this depression is just so bad shes always on my mind and i just cant stand the fact that shes not mind and might move on soon i fucking hate this i hate myself i dont want to be alive to witness her with someone else i hate this so much i hate this i hate this im crying like hell,3.0
44380, you are right ,0.0
44381,okay if you get hit with a brick to the head from atop a roof youd die but this movie is hilarious ,0.0
44382,i want the weekendand summer and sleep  dayyyummm i hate school,2.0
44383,absolutely nothing ,2.0
44384,out in   aq against  and kqone of the buggers got a flush,2.0
44385,i dont know that i have the words idk i hope this format is allowed in this sub i just kinda feel like i just need to be able to actually put my feelings out there even if its as impersonal as thisi remember the first time i felt that wrong feeling i remember realizing i was a fucking outcast compared to my classmates that summer i realized how much i was just alone it fermented in my mind as i slowly began to loathe myself idk that was a long time ago and im not sure that its really relevant it just feels important it just shaped me i guess into the hyper extroverted i am i can never sleep easy it always has to be a burn out and idk it was just the first time i remember the feeling of heaviness and tbh i dont think it ever lefti just get sad sometimes i guess i dont know thats what i say its more like i feel this this gnawing away at me completely devoid of feeling but packed with substance like dark wisps are enshrouding me but they dissipate as soon as i reach out it leaves me tired and empty it leaves me searching for a perfect solace that doesnt exist it leaves me numb i didnt cry for the years prior to this last save for a few stoic unconscious tears rolling past my eyes when people close to me died but it wasnt crying i couldnt feel that hardand idk i just dont think i was comfortable enough to talk to anyonelike i knew i shouldve cuz stuff got badi couldnt eat and i only had nightmares and i dunnoi feel selfish for doing it but i succumbed to my urges to give myself a physical pain to focus on a few timesand idk i just didnt want to be an attention seeker i didnt want to be a problem i couldnt really express myself to my parents cuz well idk it just feels so difficult to meidek if it was depressionbut it hurtbut it got betterkindacuz i felt like i finally met someone who could accept me and love me and i could talk to and she didnt judge me as less of a person for having weaknessuntil that point in my life i felt like the ultimate sign of weakness was admitting weakness no not for others they are exempt from my strict code of subconscious conduct just meand in her arms for the first time i criedi was drugged out at a party on a couch next to her and i just felt so distant and she felt it and we just went to her car and she let me crythat was a while ago but less than a yearidk i guess i deluded myself into thinking i could be happy forever we had to part ways and i feel kinda fucked up not just about herabout everything i used to be fucked up aboutnamely everything and nothing and i dont know what the fuck it isits probably not depressionidki just kinda feel like i should get helpi have no idea what to doim sorry for the length and scattered train of thought to give a flowing linear train of thought would take faaaaar too longi just loathe myself but not myself just this part of me or perception i guess and that part reciprocates the hate and idk i dont always really exist in the present space i feel detached from reality itself and myself i think i had a dpdr thing for like half a yearbut idki assume a state of super position where i dont get help since i have no actual  issues and since i dont talk to anyone i dont get diagnosed with anythingi just feel like my façade is crashing and i have no fucking idea what to do if anything should i even be concerned with the past idkim sorry,3.0
44386,feeling really anxious for some reason oh got my fish tank off craigs list it is pimp shat ,0.0
44387,rt shadowingtrump this is funny amp true rudy thinks everyones entitled to his opinionimagine ending a significant career by making st,0.0
44388,sertraline dreams  ive been on  of sertraline a day for about half a yeari went cold turkey around  weeks ago as it was difficult to renew my prescription at the timeive realised that i used to dream about flying quite a lot while i was on sertralineis this a common symptom ,3.0
44389,lucyharriet dont worry about your wii fit age its a silly feature ,0.0
44390,i wanna learn how to surf  needz to go to calii,0.0
44391,laurenconrad httplaurenconradseenoncom i love the dresses you are amazing lauren ,0.0
44392,dealing with depression while failing and redoing university suicidal thoughts everyday  so if anyone wants to read all this thanks in advance its been a crazy few years so basically i started studying mechanical engineering in  before that i took  months to myself and lost  pounds i looked great and girls started to notice after my whole life of being a  fatass i started dating things were going pretty good ive been a good student my whole school life so my first year went well i got good grades i kept on somewhat to go to the gym i was in a special army program that they put me through school and then i owe  years of army service i love in israel where army service is mandatory at age  but ive been culturally an american for my whole life cus i lived there for  years and my parents are american i want to live in america so badso everything went downhill in the second year i started to take my good grades from the last year for granted and i got cocky i started putting my time into other things on the side like making a side online business i started to get back into eating junk food and when i mean junk food i mean super pig out on junk food i would make it a habit to go to the  store and get a tub of ice cream  liter soda huge pack of cookies and family size chips this would be a  time a week thing i felt so bad with my body and so lazy i started to go less and less to the gym i started to get into pc gaming and in short after all this and falling behind in school and then bearly studying for the finalsi failed all  courses then the next semester i took  of the courses over that i failedand i failed  out of  and then i got kicked out of uni my life felt like it was falling apart then after this my parents start to look at me something they usually never do they are divorced since my age of  they take me to every single checkup on the fucking planet mri ultrasound blood tests psychiatrists psychologists etc etc i become a full time patient i feel like i have an illness even before im diagnosed with anything to stop blabbering ill get to where i am anyhowi got out of the army program cus i didnt feel it was for me and i got out of the whole army service entirely because of these doctors notes and whatnot soi decided to keep studying and am now in a less good school but still a university its farther from home and kinda hard to travel to my first year here i got an apartment here when i got here they didnt accept half of my  year credits from the first school because it wasnt the same syllabus or wasnt the grades they wanted so basicallyi had to start from the beginning of the degree first year freshmen first year on the new school i had an apartment and i got good grades second year i let go of the apartment and im commuting from home i did this initially to save my parents money for the apartment all my friends from the last school are in their  year and graduating this year and im in this shithole school back in my second year first year here went fine btw with good grades cus its a way lower level in terms of mental healthim doing horrible i have insane mood swings one day i could want to kill myself in the worst possible way next day i feel fine btw i put on all the weight that i lost and even some more so now no girls are noticing me no guys are noticing me im in school with people i dont get along with and i have no friends after  years of being here my family doesnt give a shit about me and i basically have no friends or girlfriend in general i feel so empty almost everyday i get these surges of motivation to start working out again and that lasts for a weeks time tops i have lost and gained back  pounds on and off for  months now i feel like im in a limbo not going anywhere and have no where and no one to look forward to and im obviously broke as hell and live off my parentsmy best friend i have moved to america where i want to be but cant cus i feel that i need to finish this shit degree cus ive put too much time into it anyhow dont what to do i have no one and i have nothing meaningful in my life i still binge eat a lot but trying to less and lessi have a psychologist but it doesnt seem to help  if anyone has advice im open im  now almost  btw anyone who read all this thank you,3.0
44393,happy in quarantine is this bad ive been depressed most of my life i never had many friends or family to begin with to even hang out i also hate summer because i hate my body and feel exposed being in quarantine makes me feel better its a saturday night and im not out ive never really had plans pre quarantine and it felt awful when everyone is out hanging fun except you now everyone is home and there is no pressure to go out and oddly that makes me happy ofcourse i dont want this to continue bc people are dying losing jobs the economy is crashing   but when this is over i will certainly miss the feeling of finally not feeling anxious or pressured to socializeanyone else feel this way,3.0
44394,nobody tweeting from wildwood at the dca show  dcacorps,2.0
44395, hey its nice to meet you on twitterglad you like the busn name and the tips i will keep them coming  twins with the same name,0.0
44396,should be getting ready for the drs sore arms mannn    ,2.0
44397,kristenlyn ooohwell i hope your flight is okay ,0.0
44398,its raining  cant go to the beach maybe thats a good thingi love to cuddle for now im just waiting,2.0
44399,finally  ,0.0
44400,at home eating shrimps with shell aaron carly and beth ,0.0
44401,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
44402,rt pudseylabour i am delighted to pledge support for people with mental health problems in line with minds mani ,0.0
44403, waves hi hi long time no see ,0.0
44404,any advice on my situation only friends with fake people just so i have someone to sittalk with got forced to go out with a girl by friends i was super awkward infront of all my friends and her when we met i dont know if she likes me and i dont really like her apparently she is really nice though  personality wise  i dont want to tell her this isnt working out as everyone who i have built up a relationship will probably hate me for it as they seem to like her more than me i also dont want to meet her again and have to go through this awkward shit and pretend to like her like i dont think i can psychologically handle meeting her again  i was so depressed after i met her just due to the fact at how embarrassingly awkward i was and i dont want all my friends to see thatim an awkward shit and i preferred to keep it underwraps but now after meeting her everyone is changing their opinions about meif im going to meet a girl i want it to be natural and like her and have her like me and not this forced awkward shitps i also have to go to prom with herjust thinking about this situation is making me feel sick this is like a nightmare,3.0
44405,im so tired it seems like people around me have no problem being mean to others i got gum for  yesterday sat in the smoke circle with my brother and then went to my room and fell asleep i left my gum in there get up in the morning find my gum one pack has been eaten and the other is half eaten i understand its a small pack of gum but i wouldnt eat something someone else bought my brother has no respect for me or others i just started working fast food and seeing how selfish people are and how unafraid they are to walk on others just makes me depressed my mom doesnt do anything to discipline him so im just left losing every day i feel like i let others walk all over me and i lose,3.0
44406,finished  its worrying me theres so many bad reviews for the second one ,2.0
44407,moryan  for fedak will jefster release an album and will it be original or obscure covers ,0.0
44408,artisteerthemes if u use worpresscom u cn only use the plugins alrdy installed  as far as i know  not if u have it on yr own server,2.0
44409,juliejordanscot sorry to hear youre under the weather ,2.0
44410,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
44411,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
44412,im totally addicted to i wanna by the allamerican rejects listened to it sooo much lately ,0.0
44413,paulsteele great weekend to be moving will be good exercise too i hate moving house unless someone else does all the hard work ,0.0
44414,unhelpful help my mother just texted me meaning well but it had jabs such as clean up your surroundings and when my mind settles down ill sleep depression and no sleep means no energy when i do pass out the apnea wakes me ,3.0
44415,lesliepearlman  mow love mow ,2.0
44416,is pissed off his contact lens split this morning ,2.0
44417,my pup died yesterday she was  months and her name was mila i cant begin to tell you what this dog did for me she loved me unconditionally i could see it in her beautiful brown eyes a truck hit her and when i ran out her eyes had a green look almost seeing the life leave her she took her last breath and i held her it was close to instant i carried her out of the road and sat in front of my house in complete shock we buried her it sounds dramatic but i want to be with her i feel so alone now that shes gone everywhere i went she went and now everything just feels empty i cant stop crying or smelling her favorite blanket i stare out the window where she was hit and hate this house now that shes not in it i just dont know what to do,3.0
44418,shit what a booring day i have done nothing nothin at all ,2.0
44419,novawildstar are just a bit of recognision for doing something for someone else and i liek to do things for other people cuz i want to ,0.0
44420,laurenredhead thanks for recommending us to annekahansen  much appreciated ,0.0
44421,awesome liz   is excited  does happy dance  ,0.0
44422,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
44423,shauneexx lmao i cannot believe u didnt tell me u wer fed up and that ur brain is hurting  sad face sad face xxxx,2.0
44424,rt camerontewson tuesdaymotivation im talking about mental health via childminddotorg see more here  https,1.0
44425,rt chiiivlbes mental health is a serious issue,2.0
44426,cannot sleep due to a party next door  hope to survive tomorrow without much sleep have to get up  for karate  and it is my birthday,2.0
44427, alleged wouldbe bomber needs urgent mental health help court told  ,0.0
44428,good luck bro 😂 httpstcosxtuowcybn,0.0
44429,had the bestest time  ilh,0.0
44430,so cant be bothered to read all my missed tweets away to do some revision while soaking up the rays while they are here ,0.0
44431,markharbert get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
44432, so sad yet so truehttpstcoqgqhxjfaiw,1.0
44433,treehugger thanks for the great tree hugger naturally knotty bamboo wraps feature we love it    ,0.0
44434,nlupus thx  wedding ,0.0
44435,i am sooooo broke ,2.0
44436,i dont want to start cutting i need advice because the people i ask irl arent helping they just say just dont do it then like i didnt think of that before its not helpful at all anywaywhen im having an attack i scratch my arms  i know not as bad but still bad it did help a little not much but now theres a voice telling my try a blade or scissors its goes deeper it will be fine me not being that stupid and having some common sense i push the thought away but its get harder and harder to say no and i dont know what to do,3.0
44437,im sneezing so bad i think my nose is falling off ,2.0
44438,ive been battling with depression for the past two years because im self conscious about my body ive been depressed these past two years because of my body image im  years old and ive been skinny all my life ive been self conscious mostly about my arms because of how skinny they are and i feel like everyone judges me because of it in the summer i try to avoid wearing a tshirt because my arms are visible but i still do it any way ive been working out for about month now and i still havent really seen any results what im seeking in this post is for anyone to provide words of encouragement or advise me on how to not let this have such a negative impact on my mood,3.0
44439,judezxo glad you made it safely  i am  away from wine and cheese bliss enjoy sydney ,0.0
44440,waiting for jovinn to call me   keynk liar liar liar said you wanna call me but you didnt hate you ,2.0
44441,missjojo i took pics but i cant find my camera chord to upload them  my cell phone doesnt do justice it feels like nothings on,2.0
44442,show in springfield tonight everyone come    ,0.0
44443,starjamgirl agreeeed  ps there are wtk rumours floating around hmmm,0.0
44444,people around me have high expectations of me im not sure where to begin but i hate when my parents or anyone around me have such high expectations of me with college or in life in general they dont mean it in a you have to get all as but whenever they tell me words of encouragement i usually start shutting them out and get annoyed by it let me begin to say that i was in a nursing program at a community college but i withdrew from that due to being so hard then i applied for nursing at a university and so far i am in my  out of  semester but failing two classes our policy with academic classes is that when you fail two classes youre done with the program well any time i tell my friends im failing they are always telling me how much i have pulled myself together and pulled through each semester i struggle every semester just to get by to pass i dont really open up much about my classes with my parents but they are excited and happy for me that i am close to graduating but that idea of them being happy and proud of me makes me so sad and disgusted with myself that they have a kid that basically withdrew from one of the nursing program and to now pretty much failing two classes i hate it whenever they have such high expectations out of me when in reality im dumb failing two classes andhave been idealizing on ways to get killed i would rather have my parents tell me how much of a failure i am bc that is the truth dont get me wrong they are supportive and they even pay for my tuition but whats killing me is that knowing ill never make it im just wasting my parents money an embarrassment for them and they have raised a failure i just want it to all end randomly without them suffering and i feel like that is better than having to live being a failure knowing that i will cause such disappointment in them i dont know what to do because i feel like im wasting my life and taking up space in this world i dont want them to suffer and be disappointed in me being such a failure at  yr age im such a fuck up and i wish to end that,3.0
44445,adriangoodall true actually bl is very cool though i then got huge indigestion thought i was going to black out stress not good ,2.0
44446,my family died my family sixteen days ago my mother sister and brother died in a car crash drunk driver now its just me and dad except hes depressed and is falling into age filled with regret every day i walk past all the happy faces talking with friends people to talk to i sighed if only if only you want to know why im always so depressed so sullen two weeks ago my mother died quiet arose my brother died my sister died the family that i could rely on a shoulder to cry on its the worst kind of pain i know you people oppressors wake up you go work with friends you go home knock on the door a face opens it asked how you are how your day was you go up to your bedroom get ready go down to food all prepared and made waiting for you you laugh have fun and talk and live lifei get up never truly awake go work get to my door knock knowing its not going to open but just for old times sake i cook my own food or eat left overs from the day before i look to the other side of the table my father glassy eyed barely eating filled with regret looks down thank you son i love you he tries his best i appreciate it i am the only who knows what he is feeling and he is the only on who knows what im feeling well get over it but now is a time for mourning i rub my eyes i submit this post to rdepression hoping they will help i think think about what im going to do with my life i dont want to commit suicide but i also dont want to die alonefilled with regret and hatred and solitude,3.0
44447,i dont wanna do my homeworkkk ,2.0
44448,unable to cry anyone else have this issue i cannot cry for some reason i hear people talk about how it is nice to sometimes just cry and let out emotions or whatever sometimes but i am unable to cry   i remember last time that i cried a few years back at a funeral but it was mostly to pay respects to the diseased and not to seem like i didnt care but i was actually geniuenly sad  i think it would be nice to be able to cry not just crocodile tears not sure if i have actual depression never been diagnosed and shit but i was just wondering if anyone else have this issue and if there is another way to effectively let outget rid of emotionsbtw i am a guy and know we are not supposed to cry but i think that is bullshit traditionalism i wanna be able to vent and cry,3.0
44449,i cant eat i cant think my girlfriend of  months knows i am depressed and last night she told me that she loves me a lot but because of this fucking quarantine shes scared that shes gonna loose feelings shes telling me that she doesnt think it will happen but shes scared and she told me to not worry about it and to enjoy now but how am i supposed to enjoy life when someone you love the most says thats a possibility if she really loved me would she even have these thoughts just because of a quarantine something i cant control,3.0
44450,reneejross ahhhh yes without hbo or sho summer tv is actully quite corny i will bootleg it for you and post to my site ,0.0
44451,and yes there are times when i hate you but i dont complain cause ive been afraid that you would walk away ,2.0
44452,havent done much today jus downloading more music looking at  playing ooc themes  loz rules ,0.0
44453,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
44454,only feel in love with someone when at my lowest it seems that only when im at my lowest that i start thinking about someone i used to love when i was like  im nearly  now and dont regularly think about this person in that way but when im depressed af i do anyone else get this pattern,3.0
44455,depression,2.0
44456,home from vbs after ethan almost fell all the roof haha bored now ,2.0
44457,i cant get out of bed please help my depression is always coming back and worse and worse ive basically been in bed for a month crying most nights barely worked neglected bills and eaten so much junk i thought my current situation of working part time in a job i hate and a city i hate contributed hugely to my depression but each time i try to fix it by applying for jobs in a better city i get so upset i cant function enough to actually do anything and am so scared that i cancel interviews i literally cannot function in daily life i dont know what to do ive tried everything i wish i could be dead but just dont have the energy to actually kill myself i used to be able to motivate myself and feel hopeful but not anymore my life is literally worthless i have no close friends i feel comfortable talking to my ex boyfriend doesnt understand and neither would my family its strange to feel so alone in this world i cannot believe this is my life its so shocking to me i cant believe the more i try to help myself and try new things meet new people do new jobseducation the more depressed i feel when it eventually fails i dont even know the point of this post ive been on reddit for years without posting but always felt like this subreddits posts described my feelings completely i just want to feel like i have someone to talk to and who understands,3.0
44458,lovingmydew thanks ,0.0
44459,swaggulous well its the only one that i can laugh the hardest at ,0.0
44460,i went on fb and wasnt bothered to check all my notices ,0.0
44461,dear fatstraws please open a store in houston  thank you  ,0.0
44462,jonasbrothers tonite im so exciteddd ,0.0
44463,just woke up to a fucking truck unloading rocks onto my frontyard ,2.0
44464,i want the  tha carz tha clothez i jus wanna b successful  loven drizzy drake,0.0
44465,not a good day at work ,2.0
44466,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
44467,dnee lol  that is totally not funny at all  ,2.0
44468,youre just feeling sorry for yourself my mom recently said this to me when she was upset and i know she may have said it in the heat of the moment but thats when you can really find out how somebody feels things like this are what make me regret reaching out for help in the first place,3.0
44469,my fault im currently going through the process of coming to terms with my assault while under intoxication im a male it was a night with a friend i was the only person drinking i remember nothing from the night and the only reason im aware of what happened is because they told me the following morning as if it were no big deal i felt really weird about it and went to a close friend who basically said they didnt see the problemme and my exgirlfriend had gotten back into contact after this occurred and i told her she froze up blamed me for it and then told me she had to be done with me she called me today telling me it was my fault because i couldve prevented it shes telling me to own up to my mistakes and i feel disgusting i feel used betrayed i feel stupid shes treating me horribly and shes the one person i expected to be able to help me because of this ive fallen into a deep depression and have seen the school psychiatrist for the past four days now was it my fault i shouldve prevented it ,3.0
44470,sony vegas is soo low  but still love it ,2.0
44471,ggtheundead oh of course the us and its fucking stupid health quotcarequot system so sorry hun hugs that really sucks ,2.0
44472,rt  update cold n sad n needin someone to talk to,2.0
44473,life doesnt excite me anymore idk how to explain it but for the last few weeks life hasnt been exciting me as much its just kinda dull and mundane it feels like that special flavor and smell the dance of life or whatever the hell that is is just gone its not there anymorelife is grey you just need to get up do the work expected to you by society get through the day and rest at night only to restart the cyclei know i always feel like im depressed or abused whenever i feel slightly sad but now i feel like i might have the real deali cant bring myself to commit suicide but i wouldnt really fear death anymore,3.0
44474,depression is a comfort if i could go back in time and stop myself from becoming depressed id be anxious about the parts of myself id lose in the process at this point my personality is based entirely on my depression and i feel lost without it im not depressed anymore but i also dont mean anything without my mental illness im nothing my meaning stems from my misery and i almost miss the nights when id feel somethingin the words of some girl with pink hair depressions like a big fur coat its made of dead things but it keeps me warm,3.0
44475,tried on a cute strapless betsy johnson dress last night but tony was with me so i couldnt pretend they gave it to me for free  ,2.0
44476,reidsan reid drowning is bad you know  ive been buying dvds namely spaced and cheap animated films damn hmv sales,2.0
44477,so tired but had a good night at katies  might go watch the big game tomorrow if im awake ,0.0
44478,annmariej someone has but thank you too ,0.0
44479,would like to say ha to ebtheceleb but she gets mad so hahahah to cedes instead ,0.0
44480,i want to help others but just need opinions on this situation so i do this thing on the internet right not big but i have a dream but lately life and everything is getting in the way like ill admit it im depressed and have been for a while and its so unmotivating i just wanna lie in bed and sleep all day until i get better but thats been my excuse for almost  years but the longer do i this i know nothing is gonna change i do get sudden bursts of motivation but they are only for the day or two and they dont happen often then i always end up back in the same situation feeling the same or worse idk what to do i want to do something that not only would benefit myself but maybe other who feel the same way idk im thinking about livestreaming playing a game where the entire time i just talk to my audience about personal problems or problems on their own that they can share if theyd be will too they can send it anonymously and i wont reference a name and me and my audience can just talk about it and see if we can cheer up the individual like the one thing that would cheer me up when im depressed would be helping out others makes me feel worth it knowing that i can get someone out of a similar funk im feeling im just not sure if its a good idea or not so i came to reddit to try and get some opinions thank you not sure what reddit to post this one in ima sorta new i dont use it too much if i post it in the incorrect one or if anyone has a better one please let me know but anyways just looking for opinions i wanna give myself motivation by motivating and talking and trying to help others ,3.0
44481,rt  therapist coin the termtrump anxiety disorderthink its bad nowwait till the snowflakes go to their their therapist an,2.0
44482,the sun was shining what when i got home at  this morning after a great night out  rotterdam ,0.0
44483,wish i was in bournemouth today   hows it looking down there dorset folk,2.0
44484,misterdevans i am i promise    how are you today,0.0
44485,frostiandlevi la but its so la there ,2.0
44486,getting ready then going to my doctors appointment please let me hear i will get my voice back ,2.0
44487,moonfrye if i could do one thing tonight it would be to stay awake long enough to read until daylight ,0.0
44488,wellness app project life coaches  hi everyoneim a uxui student who is doing research on wellness coaching please take about  minutes to fill out a survey related wellness so that i can collect some general data all of your answers are anonymous and will not be shared with oneif you feel there was anything i missed in the survey please write a comment below  thank you,3.0
44489,ma new music is great     from jordin sparks to movado ,0.0
44490,rt faguettte your wcw blames their depression on planets being in retrograde to cover up how much of a mess they are its me im your wcw,2.0
44491,freakyfudge thats all i have done todaynothing else  i think we need to have a party soon,2.0
44492,authenticrust good luck comrade remember the cyanide capsule in your teeth ,0.0
44493,lights are on patricktriplex is readygonna shoot soon ,0.0
44494,kathryngreenx aye  but im better than i was  think in going to school  tho any gd o,2.0
44495,watching a dull match in the french open still cant believe djokovic crashed out of the tournament ,2.0
44496,nixsight ach blocked in the usa ,2.0
44497,madasyouasme hmm alright well in that case im all for it so whos paying for my ticket lol just messin thatd be fun though ,0.0
44498,tikitender cant make it working ,2.0
44499,justinalundy so i see you managed to get twitter in your phone i love you ,0.0
44500,melissaa home for loads of homework nahhh youre gunna watch camp rock  definitely better haha,0.0
44501,mmmmm lunch hmm i think ill take joe with a side dish of nick please thank you ,0.0
44502,im trying to find a book about drugs and prostitution and all that scandalous stuff no luck ,2.0
44503,ryanstar awww the sun blocks your face  but you still look oh so handsome ,2.0
44504,other depression blogs my roommate and i made a blog to write about our mental health struggles and we were wondering if anyone else had any similar  ,3.0
44505,queeniecyrus aww really  it sucks i hate it when people do it its frustrating grrr well im still following you y love you x,2.0
44506,do meds stop anyone else from laughing i take effexorvenlafaxine its it has definitely helped me and im a much happier person overall but ive noticed that i dont genuinely laugh anymore i do laugh alot like when talking to friends and family etc but i feel like im just faking it so it isnt awkward i have times where ill be laughing at something a friend said and halfway through ill realise i could stop laughing immediately right now because it isnt genuine i used to call friends and laugh so hard i coulda pissed myself but that was always during times when my depression was at its worst it has me wondering if its normal because i feel like i cant imagine uncontrollably laughing at something i feel like everyone is faking it,3.0
44507,katepickle jst caught up on ur bloglaughing hilariously at ur singstar craving lol kareokee all so ,0.0
44508,mothgal morning hon still sort of sunday here ,0.0
44509,mollie is going to the doggie doctor to get her booster shots   ,2.0
44510,another day at the wonderful chega office ,0.0
44511,idahoheartmom  inserts ,0.0
44512,confused  ive  doing really well taking my meds until the last few weeks when i just stopped i think subconsciously i wanted to and just made the excuse that i forgot them then i stayed off them for a few weeks and have been feeling very manic and extremely apathetic ive been looking at my so  disgust and sustain rather than love and happiness anymore im so scared and confused about if that is actually how i feel about him or not and not taking my meds really messed me up not to mention there is a new  at work who i have a crush on which is bringing up questions about my sexuality that o have never thought of before and im not mad about it im just confused if thats how i really feel or not sorry if its hard to understand thanks,3.0
44513,wishing my mom would go grocery shoppingthere is no food in this damn house ,2.0
44514,got coffee dave ramsey playing and will listen to glenn beck in a little while got a job and life is good ,0.0
44515,sunburn achey  sleeeeepy but gonna read more from bex amp shopaholic,2.0
44516,am i depressed i know the title is crap but i literally cant phrase it diffrently i feel like i dont enjoy my life spending time with peoplefriends is literally an acting fiasco to not show that im not intrested even when something good is happening with me my idiot of a brain comes up with an array of ways that it can go wrong and hurt me in the process i came here to ask since googling this would lead to nowhere and people who have experienced something similar might know something,3.0
44517,nicramirez wtf why just get a blackberry ,0.0
44518,noticing some of the longtime java guys seem well less happy about javaone this year ,2.0
44519,this is making me so sad im,2.0
44520,im only alive i swear im only alive because i think growing up without a mother because of suicide would fuck up my kid more than just having a severely depressed mother  ,3.0
44521,singlesyllable lol thanks ,0.0
44522,im tired of myself and everything every day of my life i try my best and every time i fail no matter how many times i try or how much effort i put into it i just cantthrough out the years of trying to distract myself whether be it socializing or anything that gets me away from thinking i cant outpace my selfhate for how worthless i feel about myselfi know that there is so much people that care about me and been told that i shouldnt think of myself like that or think of how important is my futurebut what importance would it be anyways check the news dayin dayout people die every day life takes so much effort to be nurtured and it can be so easily taken awayhow can i be worried about a future when death awaits us all the same matters not how good or bad of a life weve been through were bound to lose iti feel so drained to even think about it that its like being dragged out of myself each more i want to get out of this sinkhole of a life and i just dont know what to do or think anymore,3.0
44523,missing a significant amount of blood all for a good cause ,0.0
44524,gorgeous day here in co im at mikes camera denver im quite sure you should come by ,0.0
44525,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
44526,thewebsiteplace jackfranklin just reduce the number of things you have ticked i suppose  ,0.0
44527,im too reliant on substances when depressed everytime im feeling depressed ive noticed i always find myself turning to shit to take the pain away im afraid its going to get out of hand but i just cant shake it at this point its a habitwhenever im feeling depressed i always find myself turning to hard alcohol cigarettes or weedif i dont have access to these things my urge to self harm or do something to myself goes up by what feels like a million percent im just a depressed fucking mess thats too pathetic to face my own problems soberi hate myself ,3.0
44528,i miss the sunshine ,2.0
44529,ive been sitting here for two and a half hours  i wish i could just get my meds and go home,2.0
44530, because its so ruddy hot ,2.0
44531,upsgurl shes with her family until  or so  she cant make it  ,2.0
44532,followfriday            olgabosak  romangold sudilkovsky kashasaltsova deadlyfate,0.0
44533,stoppped following ama i really need a clean break on another note kate is being super nice right now  off to work,0.0
44534,just told the spouse goodby now off to work ,2.0
44535,alcarlton good plan but i suspect they dont like you any better drunk  hang in there and kill them with your kindness ,0.0
44536,thebeatmaker hey thanks so much for following me  visit my myspace page sometime httpwwwmyspacecomdottygmusiconline  hear mybeatz,0.0
44537,ahhhh bored it doesnt feel like summerpens parade was neat but we didnt get on tv  its all good though i saw feury ,2.0
44538,stayed up until  doing my daily log for class and now the ning is down and i cant post  mildly upset by this,2.0
44539, that makes me sad ,2.0
44540,adamrphoto hahaha i didnt see that uncool hetro comment till just now  fucking brilliant hahah,0.0
44541,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
44542,i have dancers and a bouncer now  all looking good ill have the raf flyover by time im done lmao,0.0
44543,just set  rat traps the last one only caught some gray fur ,2.0
44544,heading to bed have to be at work in  hours ,2.0
44545,this year i have more birds nests on my porch than ever  they are sooooooo welcome here love watching them learn  fly while i work ,0.0
44546,is anyone else unable to look at themselves in the mirror when theyve had a really bad day i find that im unable to look at my own reflection in the mirror if my day has been particularly bad does it happen to anyone else or is it just me,3.0
44547,apples new iphone  will arrive the  of june to people who preordered  the receiver aka atampt is making ups hold it till then ,2.0
44548,nowait i think its buffering wheee ,0.0
44549,all that money hunny ,0.0
44550,inventory can be fun   no really,0.0
44551, the apartment with me bffs liapele and mypucci reunited ,0.0
44552,starrahlicious lol u rite like  said im laughing straight to the bank wit this but i dnt kno bout laughing in a recession lol ,2.0
44553,andreaszcom ja du i hab selbst ned viel zeit ghabt dh is es hochgradig improvisiert ,0.0
44554,idangazit now thats just mean ,0.0
44555,living in a monochromatic world i just dont understand how some people get out of bed in the morning and enjoy the monotony i simply cant accept any other meaning of life than just continuously settling and being disappointed until you die how do people go on with their lives happily im not even  years old yet and theres nothing that can even bring a smile to my face anymore even the most appealing things to me less than four years ago are dull and uninteresting,3.0
44556,day off  good production  ,0.0
44557,shhh sleeepy mmm or munchies ,0.0
44558,i wanna reaaaaad amp watch the white sox instead i have to work amp then work again ,2.0
44559,aww tired going to bes have to wake up early  and anyone hows ur new iphones or  software,2.0
44560,fyi world ma ☎  fell off ma couch amp on  ma dumbells ma screens cracked now tru meanin of a crackberry ,2.0
44561,jinxieg glad you finally got some sleep though ,0.0
44562,i keep wanting something to save me but i know thats not realistic im  sessions into therapy and for this being my first time ever in therapy i got lucky by finding the right therapist for me on my first try shes great and therapy is helping but only so much although we are now starting to get into the deeper issues im learning how to cope better and my way of thinking is beginning to change but it only goes so far im still having panic attacks and crying constantly out of sadness lately its shifted more from panic attacks to crying because of how hopeless things areim seeing a physchiatrist for the first time this week even though im reluctant to the idea of meds but at this point i dont have any other options its also going to be right after my therapy session so im going to have two hours straight of talking about myself which could be intensei just turned  i have a suicide attempt in each of the last two years i was in a  month relationship early last year that has fucked me up to this daynot because it ended but rather due to some things that happened within it and this had led to me feeling like i cant date so ive just been having loads of sex im having a hard time socializing due to other reasons and i have issues that have really defined my life over the last  years combine all this with the fact that ive never been happy in my entire life im also in the worst financial position ive been in ever things have really taken a turn for the worseon the bright sideim living in a city i really like my apartment has a wonderful view i have a full time job with insurance and for the first time in my life i have stabilitybut i just cant shake this feeling that this is all over for me i do feel like this is too much for me to recover from i have been surprisingly open with my therapist about my suicidal thoughts and weve developed a safety plan and despite my currently being safe i cant help but feel that this is going to end up with me dead its been so hard im giving my best effort and things keep getting worseid like to say this is depression talking and while some of it definitely is i had a super dark period last year and made it out temporarily but now its back and things are only worse and impacting me deeperi honestly hope im wrong as i really dont want to die but i feel so fucked and im nearing the point of no return,3.0
44563,muttnik us artists are highly trained for such intelligence ,0.0
44564,going to sac ,0.0
44565,on a bus with  students to go to busch gardens in beautiful tampa fl  ,0.0
44566,i feel like ive undone years of progress in the few weeks of quarantine i struggle with a few things depression an ed and just overall trying to be a healthy human being over the last few years i had been slowly digging myself out of this hole by getting a great job working out for healthy reasons moving out of my parents and overall just being happier with myself ever since quarantine has started i feel like everything i worked so hard towards is undone routines are incredibly important to my success as well as interacting with people and having to get ready every day although i am still thankfully working from home i feel like an unproductive gross human being ive been keeping myself busy by runningwalking outside doing small craft projects and calling family but it just isnt enough i feel like as soon as i sit down for a minute alone i am overcome with a rush of emptiness i dont know i just am feeling so hopeless everything i used to look forward to has been cancelled and the world seems to kind of be endingbefore the quarantine i was considering going back to therapy to strengthen my relationships with my familyso and work through past trauma although i considered myself to be pretty high functioning i want to maybe talk to someone but im not sure how to go about that right now with everything shut down,3.0
44567,monday morning blues ,2.0
44568,what the hell is happening ,2.0
44569,drakebell awesome cant wait to hear your new songs ,0.0
44570,just woke up ,0.0
44571,my flat is exceptionally tidy id be proud if i were that way inclined as it is itll be an effort to keep it tidy ,0.0
44572,love riding in my car with the bass going ,0.0
44573,medication update after trying and failing multiple antidepressants i think i have finally found one that is working for me this is honestly the most happy i have felt in a long time i wish you all the best in your journey,3.0
44574,lancegross ahu got the morning after syndrome i c ,0.0
44575,i dont have a hometown on hills ,2.0
44576,tired and didnt really have an exciting saturday  oh well hope its better tomorrow  ,2.0
44577, im worried about my friend whos struggling with depression and he cant afford helpno therapist takes his insurance what to do chicago i live abroad netherlands and i my friend from chicago is really struggling with depression i want to do anything i can in order to help him but i can do only so much from this far and i feel uselesshelpless he cant afford professional help yet he wants to and no therapist is taking his insurance is there anyone that can give me some advice,3.0
44578,is about to what a doco with the boy on vampirismwoohoo ,0.0
44579,oh nuuuuuu pleaseeee dont hack into my cerebellum i got no cybernetics trust me i am a human ,2.0
44580,oh no norwich for relegation ,2.0
44581,i was in and out of bed every five minutes today  im never getting that wrecked again,2.0
44582,jg ballards dead ,2.0
44583,probably gonna fail my prelims i havent studied homework piling up and i breakdown crying whenever im alone i havent slept in  days and i cant relax anywhere other than my own room the anxiety of going to school wears me down the stress keeps me down and then the lecture from teachers parents and whoever else seems to think im choosing to do nothing just adds to the fire school starts in  hours and i have several past papers and homework items i need to hand in havent started any of them i just cant bring myself to it i have no energy,3.0
44584,pornodan i had a blast so much fun  cant wait to see you thurs ,0.0
44585,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,1.0
44586,im spiraling ive struggled with depression for many years i survived suicide about  years ago by successful cpr i was pissed off but then i saw how upset my family and friends were i thought id try harder to live and i did live pretty good for a couple of years then i was stricken with a chronic autoimmune illness i tried to push through as best i could but eventually i had to stop working and my social life crashed along with itnow every day is a struggle my social life is nonexistent i havent been dating i havent taken a photo in a long time photography was my salvation for a long time now i feel like i have no creativity left in me now im noticing some cognitive issues when i read something i have to read it over and over to comprehend it when i look at a scene on the tv i have to blink and concentrate really hard to understand what im seeing ive always been smart top of my classes totally fierce in my former career and now i feel like im losing the only edge ive ever hadthis to me is more disturbing than my suicidal ideation anyone else experience thisany advice ,3.0
44587,green day ,0.0
44588,my nerves are getting to me big time ugh just leave me alone till tuesday ,2.0
44589, and yes i do as well it feels very charismatic ,0.0
44590,how does this thing work  ,2.0
44591,hahaha nicole will know why  ,0.0
44592,theenglishrose re applause store we got so called guaranteed tickets from them for trl we got turned away too ,2.0
44593,hey august httpstcozngblevqig,0.0
44594,i just got told i look  by a bunch of great aunts  sad day ,2.0
44595,happy mothers day to all you moms stepmoms grandmoms and those who just feel like moms ,0.0
44596,maths is proving to be hard i find refuge in my wolverine slinky  ,0.0
44597,alancostello you so should i want one but with release of new iphone just around the corner i wont have the cash ,2.0
44598,patrickjrpoet booooo now im sad   my phone is acting brand new,2.0
44599,rjtoronto absolutely im a day behind usually arrive on the friday but couldnt this year ,0.0
44600,iamjonathancook  is a hella random time  i wish i can go ,2.0
44601,suggestions hey guys im depressed seems like stating the obvious i guess but figured i would anyways i was hoping yall could give me your home remedies for depressiondepressive episodes ie cardio exercise sunlight etc simple things i guess that could help i dont know if there is actually anything or not just hoping for answers if it matters im  in college,3.0
44602,just said byebye to arnieleelee  bus station feeling a bit sad and lonely ,2.0
44603,patriciaco do you follow me ,0.0
44604,ahh fuck time to get ready for rowingin the rain ,2.0
44605,ver the day the earth stood still alguém tem algumas ideias de filmes aí ,2.0
44606, different doctors  male aides  nurses and a friend told me earlier that i lost weight  and that i look stressed ,2.0
44607,ilylambert omg i just watched it your lucky you cant watch itits kinda hard to watch im prolly gonna cry on monday ,2.0
44608,niccimonkey haha its nicest word   my chemical romance yeah  ,0.0
44609,last day in paris  but i am excited to see my girls amp get started on another sfx shoot but no prep time yikes,2.0
44610,dont be taken advantage of health depression nih webmd marketing ,1.0
44611,reds rain delay ,2.0
44612,spencerpratt it would cost me a fortune from the uk but u could call me ,0.0
44613,owwww the hamster bit me and i did nothing to it  x,2.0
44614,strandedinaber move to ireland and then yes ,0.0
44615,thisisdavina i missed bb tonight that makes me sad ,2.0
44616,aw babe i miss you to  im in hollywood atm but ill deffo come and see you next week and take you shopping ,2.0
44617,one of my favorite srv joints  jimmybradley  stevie ray vaughan � pride and joy  ,0.0
44618,lowcountrybbq good morning  you hve me thinking bbq already ,0.0
44619,is off for a very long day on very little sleep nono is not wanting to go to bed at a decent hour at all ,2.0
44620,i think im cursed today was what i think to be the final nail on my coffin ive always suffered through life  its been going on since childhood but today was a very important test for which i had really prepared for  a test which could have changed my life  a test for which people take a week  i prepared it in two months but right in the morning a friend ditched me by not showing  i was already stressed about the test and then also spent around an hour trying to reach him but in the end i managed to go with another friend  the whole confidence i had for that test just went down the drain during this panicking  this test was the last chance for me to apply for a university i had been trying for last two years but now even its gone even though i studied  something had to happen to mess it upim from a poor family  this was perhaps the only chance i had and i just messed it up the results are going to be announced tonight and if i dont get enough grades then i dont know what ill do i have been trying my whole life but things just dont seem to go good for me  this may seem overexhaggerating because of the test but this has happened to me a lot in life  i just dont know why i have to go through all these sorts of pain so much  i also happen to  have problems with my body which cant be solved except surgery  ive never had a normal family  everyone just hates each other and i have to live with them because i cant afford to move out  all sorts of financial issues its like living in a constant hell  having a body which is a constant source of psychological pain  poverty  family and lots of other things i just dont get it why im suffering so much and why dont things go ok even once todays test was perhaps my only ticket out of this life and it just blew away how do i minimize my suffering i used to think all of my problems were in my mind but these are real problems with real pain  i dont know what to do  its been almost  hours since ive taken the test and my bodys refusing to eat  my heartbeats been acting strange  i dont know if this is something serious but i really dont care now why must i suffer so much  why cant i just be normal like everyone else  why is it that even though i try but something happens which just fcks it all up i tried praying i tried therapy by books because i cant affor psychologists  i try whatever i can to minimize my pain but things just dont go good for me  what do i do i just want to go unconcscious or numb for some time to have a break but i know thats not possible i really wish that something happens now  i just dont want to continue on living like this just tell me im bitching but i just cant take it any longer i need help  please  anything which can help my fcked up mind  i just want to stop this suffering for at least some time,3.0
44621,do you ever want to post about what youre going through but typing it out makes you feel sick it seems like i think about it all the time but to really express it makes me feel worse basically my two year degree i need to transfer is taking  years i always end of failing a class because im so fucking anxious and depressed that i cant even look at the work without feeling ill i dont know why i do that i retake it to get grade forgiveness or whatever but i feel stuck i feel like im not accomplishing anything i lie to everyone and say im fine and that classes are great and things are just taking a while because ive changed my major which is partially true but its mostly because im an idiot and have to retake basic classes i never had this trouble in high school im too insecure to tell anyone and just say i have general anxiety or am tired being honest would open a door to years of ugly lies i dont even know what i want to do with my life but i know i need a degree on another note my girlfriend is practically a genius and on top of her major has two minors and is going to go to grad school i feel like a failure typing this out is making me feel awful i wish i could just drop out for good and nap forever but i cant,3.0
44622,laid up in bed for memorial day  no fugawi ,2.0
44623,love this weather  too bad i was inside at work all day ,2.0
44624, dandelionvintag  thank you for the follow friday mention  i was out of down and my bb app isnt working on my phone ,2.0
44625,msjerzi hahhano  hun i jus walked away sorry that ur pissed now ,2.0
44626,says yummeh food  lepak  awesome  ,0.0
44627, chalegal soulnchacha thank you ,0.0
44628, oh no dont say that i let enuf ppl down as it is just by being me  im v knackered how r u,2.0
44629,my condolences to tehyung and his family that is so sad,2.0
44630,laurenyoung expediting changes to my twitter thanks to that blogpost thank you ,0.0
44631,this is for clarisseb  happy  birthday to myself ,0.0
44632,shelbytyszka get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
44633,kalei okay good because i seem to get blisters easily and yes it was my nikes that did it ,0.0
44634,wakatabaka because im broke  or maybe i need a job ,0.0
44635,jamesmcgraw hee i got there first ,0.0
44636,i dont know what to do anymore this is my last year in highschool  this year i got transfered to a new highschool in my clas  thats where i meet her from the first moment i was like why shes soo fucking cute  whatever thats just in my mind  my friends and my classmates  they all told me shes ugly anyway i found her very beautiful and a rly cool person i started to become a close friend to her something like  months ago  i speak with her several times already that i liked her rly much she told me clearly everytime that we will never be together we remain close friend and i understant i must try to get over with but i just cant and no  its not my first love but is the most bigger one my friends helped me at beggining but they all get tired and let me to do whatever my brain what to do any advices  i should try more  i should try to get over  i should broke my friendliness   im become desperate  i love her soo fucking much but i cant even speak properly to her i get soo excited that i losr my words and we cant have a properly conversation   i understant why she doesnt like me  but even that way i just cant get over with my friend told me that i should speak with a psychologist  what do you think people ,3.0
44637,awesomeaye if i remember then ill take it wear your sash im going to go shower babe i love you  see you tonight,0.0
44638,primehex yeah i know  although i know that theyre  different in my mind the terms quotrapquot and quothip hopquot are interchangeable,2.0
44639,v annoyed both movies i chose for tonight matrix or stng first contact are only vhs and machine is not hooked up anymore  now what,2.0
44640,rt  everything s so sad onebut one thing iam happy that makers r giving a lot of performance oriented tracks for narbhiwe r,1.0
44641,watching kill bill i cant believe bill is dead in real lifethats messed up man ,2.0
44642,still hoping that chockenberry will update twitterrific to version  ,0.0
44643,kbrenea haha we should recruit twitterers  we still need to do something soon ,0.0
44644,kellyrowland lol i saw that its very strange how is she going to go near that bath of mud lol cant wait  ur performance ,0.0
44645,drealrobpat oh my god u r suffering from  insomnia  having ghostly dreams,0.0
44646, mugging sucks ttm i hate doing notes,2.0
44647,last day of classes ,0.0
44648,i cant find anything good to eat ,2.0
44649,nrdu slugtrail apparently i lost ,2.0
44650,im trying to make my myspace look good check it in about  mins and leave me a comment ,0.0
44651,umm i have a friend that is obsessed with perez hilton ,0.0
44652,imac went bust       cant live without it  apple support guys  pls do ur job,2.0
44653,im ugly i get made some shitty comment about my unattractivness everyday  i have to lie about my sex life to try and seem more valuable doesnt anyone believes it because they dont ive never had a girlfriend  ive had been close to one girl before but went literally insane because of her and thats not an exaggeration at all i have no jawline upturned nose receding chin big eyes beginning of a receding hairline skinny neck outward earspeople make fun of one of my ears because its noticeable not the same as the other  im at a heathy weight for myself i used to workout when i had a little bit of hope out but i kinda stopped now and then i get back into it but not as often diets in the trash of course i dont wish to be the most attractive dude ever but just right in the middle would do for me i hate it so much ive never thought i was attractive not even when i was a kid never ive never persued a girl i always say she can do better than me nobody wants me i got nothing to offer at all i think about killing myself alot but will never do it cause i know the torment itll put my family threw and realizing its permanent you cant undo it and see what effect it had like we all wish we could but its still comforting sometimes ,3.0
44654,ericasnyder anytime is good i work from home so im always available hopefully well get you to that point too ,0.0
44655,if you are coming to my show on may  at taste please tell me what to put on the setlist eh ,0.0
44656,drbazpilates yogapilates instructors shouldve been evaluated dangerous to teach without proper accreditationcertificationwhatever ,0.0
44657,my sunburn is on fire  someone shoot me,2.0
44658,happy birthday my favorite twins i love you girls  ,0.0
44659,still crying with luongo ,2.0
44660,ahaha its been a year since i posted on this twitter name ,0.0
44661,selves whatre you workin on now goin for a run or what ,0.0
44662,iloveth how dare you ask that you know im germanstupid  lol no not funny ,2.0
44663, creo que lo del momo sad fue mala idea  ,2.0
44664,i met a boy on the weekend he works on the mines i like him  i never like anybody except for ashton andy hamish amp lorenzo amp sam ,0.0
44665,trying myself and not working well i have been like that for nearly  years and seems like i can not solve them myself anybody have time to listen,3.0
44666,my mom just took my ipod for  to make me clean up doq poop ,2.0
44667,general gordon hotel sydenham was built in  for tooth and co and designed by architect sidney warden sad to ,0.0
44668,dearfirstlove how are the vampire diaries  im so picky when it comes to vampire books ,2.0
44669,metallica  quotdevils dancequot   thanks for props and rbs sweet lady  rbmrsasoprano  ,0.0
44670,why why for the second day in a row is there no water in the street i wanna wash my hairrrrrr ,2.0
44671,must make the most of this long bankholiday weekend i have excusewhos up for the fair ,0.0
44672,im so lonely i just want physical contact i just feel hollow inside i just want a hug a real one im just so tired of existing im not a real person anymore just a shell im a corpse that is for some reason still walking,3.0
44673,im so scared and lonely idk if i should posting this here but i am so desesperate and i just need something i dont even know what it is im a  yr old rn my life is so shit nobody gives a damn about me i try to have friends but i just lie and act in front of everyone i feel like living a movie where nothing is real god i feel so lost rn i dont know where my life is going and i just scared of getting of the bed and living at this point im considering getting high on heroin and dying on some point it feels its more worthwriting this feels very dumb for me but i just wanna talk to someone please someone help me,3.0
44674,rt poppysmission what is  ptsd amp trauma🍃anxiety🍃hypervigilance🍃depression🍃diagnosis symptoms🍃sleep disturbances ,2.0
44675,dreamt there was an explosion  the place we went to look at yesterday in the room id want i liked the place too ,2.0
44676,rt lifeaseva it isnt easy to get over mental health issues but finding people who understand you and identifying yourself is the first s,0.0
44677,i have an ongoing argument in my head and its messing me up bad im a selfcentred bastard and ive always hated certain things things that most are fine with when something slightly pisses me off even if i dont show it my mind goes crazy and i hate that person for ages after if im not pissed im arguing to myself to give up the impulse hatred its either making me want to lash out or hurt myself i havent hurt myself i wouldnt im too much of a coward i just cant be anything but angry or depressed i cant tell anyone because the dark side of me hates that too half of me wants to become a good person but the other part wont give up just for clearance i wouldnt ever hurt someone or anything thats something even my dark side wont accept i just get angry i can hide it but i dont really have an outlet thats mostly why im writing this it helps i dont want to be the one that doesnt fit in i just want to be a good person,3.0
44678,i miss the sun  its raining again fuck off  it makes me depressed ,2.0
44679,growinggold seal of approval  means good link,0.0
44680,rt andiethistreety omg july  to july  honestly so embarrassed to post this but a lot has changed in one year physical health amp,0.0
44681,i am starting to have thoughts i am starting to have severe thoughts of being alone and wanting to end my life its been coming up every time i try to do something thats suppose to be fun ,3.0
44682,something bad is happening ,2.0
44683,i miss my friends ,2.0
44684,estelledarlings nope    you are fab and quotlets go lakersquot,0.0
44685, youre very welcome  bon dimanche ,0.0
44686,sleepy time was gooood  heading back to my place the gnome went to see dream theatre  lucky him ,0.0
44687,trying to get the pic up   twitter hates all of mine so far,2.0
44688,being hunger to stay alive last weeks my depression have been going pretty bad i try to stop eating so my hunger kind of replace my depression pain distracting my brain by thinking about food and not suicide all the time also drinking most of the time to escapesorry for my bad english since im drunk and not native speaker love you all,3.0
44689,grades and exhaustion this is more of a generalized thing i guess like its always been on the backburner but its really starting to wear me down this semesterim pretty far into my major and its just getting to this point where its so fucking exhausting always having to prove myself i guess at some point along the way i started to conflate my worth with my grades not hard to do in academia these days and so whenever i happen to do poorly its just devastating and honestly i dont usually get bad marks but somehow ive developed this anticipatory anguish im so scared of being mediocre im so scared of my work being criticized by people i admire im wrapped up in the fear of being judged and that terror has thrust the rest of my life into this awful headspace this relentless dreadand the thing is i can admit to myself that grades are completely arbitrary and that in the grand scheme of things they totally dont matter but the other thing is that they do somehow theyve become the metric by which i determine my own worth and i dont know how to turn that off like i said its exhaustingi dont know any words of wisdom anybody feeling the same ive been thinking a lot about school grades and how were constantly quantified i mean that kind of things wears on a person on everybody id guess,3.0
44690,wow thank you  super bait naman ni sheriff ,0.0
44691, im pretty sure ill get my feelings hurt so ill keep my mouth shut  missed u guys today wedding was beautiful,0.0
44692,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
44693,quintijnknepper we finally agree  it sure would be better for the season and dont get me wrong vettel is a very talented driver ,0.0
44694,artomatic is closing at  tonight i know im sad too ,2.0
44695,venting long rambling this may not be the most coherent and itll definitely be a wall of text but i suppose i just need to ventive been depressed to some degree or another for several years probably longer than i realise ive been on different antidepressants for most of that time switching as needed and changing dosage as needed in that the ive mostly managed to stay functional kept in full time work have pets shit i even got married and yes my wife is fully aware of the state my brain is inits not been getting better though it is in fact getting worse and i dont know how much longer i can deal with thati moved to the uk last september from belgium for personal reasons and im settled here now job pets wife all that but since december or so ive been on a downward trajectory went from usual mild depression to more to passive suicidal ideation i have enough self awareness to know thats no good so i did the self referral to mental health services and was seen for an intake pretty swiftly got told she agreed i needed help and theyd be in touch in weeks rather than months suffice to say they werent called them again was told to be more flexible and to make myself available during the day hat tip to my boss he okayed this so i did still nothing were mayjune by this point and im tipping from passive to active suicidal thoughts im not planning yet but theres concrete ideas forming and a definite desire to be done more self awareness a gp appointment is made waiting time of only a month i make it through that time and see the doc this is a separate horror story but it did result in my meds being upped and a referral to secondarymore serious carethings move i get my intake for secondary care really quickly and it goes well and im referred onward to a psychiatric nurse no diss on them but not what im looking for feels like another barrier more gatekeeping fine whatever month and a half till appointment time early augustday before the appointment phone rings unforeseen circumstances well be rescheduling you new date another month and a half in the future  weeks to gothats it thats nowive just had about two weeks off work and its been nice i wasnt better but it definitely took the edge off second day back at work and im already back down in the goddamn pit people are shit and i want to cry any kind of responsibility thats put on me i just want to run and hide any difficulty and i want to collapse i literally cant think of politics local national or global without wanting to scream and rage and my anger always a symptom thats been fun to manage is at a constant boili cant wait for this appointment it might as well be next century and i fully expect to be rescheduled again im at that point where apparently the only way to get actual help from the system im going to have to actually try and kill myself really the only reason i havent yet is i cant do it to my wife and we cant afford for me to be out of work longtermi need something some support more accurate meds than ssris some help putting the bits back together but i cant wait anymore im so done the system isnt there to help it could be but politics,3.0
44696,valentinnaaa i feel sick  lol your new picture is pretttttyy,2.0
44697,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
44698,its raining ,2.0
44699, the astounding lack of knowledge about mental health in the media is disgrace as a mh sufferer myself,1.0
44700,he sounded so good it was cute  lol,0.0
44701,doesnt want to go to sleep until i see todays guidinglight but im so ill ,2.0
44702,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
44703,rt iatemuggles me i need to talk this out with someonemy anxiety youre going to come off as needy isolate urself and handle it all,2.0
44704,is waiting for the network repair guys ,2.0
44705,how can i help my friend dealing with depression hi this is my first time posting on here so im sorry anyways recently my ex has reached out to me about his mental health issues and he feels very trapped and alone as someone who deals with depression i wanted to be there for him and try to help but i dont know how to go about this he says he pushes everyone away and is scared to open up to anyone he knows he needs to do things but doesnt do them due to lack of motivation he spends the whole day smoking weed and hangs out with his friends who are the definition of toxic masculinity i dont know how i can be there to help because people deal with their mental illness differently any advice is greatly appreciated thank you so much,3.0
44706,rt  dont feel sad over someone who gave up on you feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have neve,1.0
44707,at home on a friday night it sucks ,2.0
44708,christinaciulla ya the weather is absolute crap  are you sick again get better soonor else,2.0
44709,benstiller congrats the nonbreaking of things is always a half full kinda day ,0.0
44710,is good old fashioned finger painting ,0.0
44711,i just discovered that we wont be using air conditioning this summer im so excited  haha i love the house being hot and now the  ,0.0
44712,is at sun valley for the last time before moving  im gonna miss this amazing church,2.0
44713,johannmao johanna i dont know if we can see eachother before u leave ,2.0
44714,rt brittapplegate listen a job can lead to depression anxiety all of that your health comes first notalwaysworthit ,2.0
44715,maccast apple is saying june  now is the date ,2.0
44716,isnt getting a redo of her english oral   it is then,2.0
44717,happy valentines day guys i want anyone who comes across this post to know that even though we feel alone and full of emptiness im thinking about all the people i see across this sub and hopefully wish you all love amp inspiration,3.0
44718,friendfeed is down  httpbitlyejarg,2.0
44719,loneliness making me depressed again i feel like im in a manic episode again because of the loneliness itll pass it always does but if anyone had some words in the meantime thaat would help my bithday is approaching and im going to be  with close to no friends and without ever having had a girlfriend or even a kiss it is usually fine but sometimes it hurts with my low self esteem and my need for validation i need to know that i am enoughcheers,3.0
44720,jodywatley you must have missed my tweet at the beginning of the game i took the magic for a diet coke friendly wager ,0.0
44721,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
44722,themacopa hahahaha ishare mo din ang halay sa pooh gang baka sakaling malinawan ang isip at sumaya ang sad life ,2.0
44723,hope everyone is enjoying my picks for today i am so excited i got some really cool ones coming  like they are not all cool already p,0.0
44724,my workmates are looking at me like im insane  ,2.0
44725,wanna go home  and by god i will do so right now  need to relax bcause ive got a really long day tommorow ,2.0
44726,rt karenomoto its so relieving knowing that schools going to be over soon and my mental health is going to improve so much,0.0
44727,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
44728,i didnt really get the chance talk to him today so im sad ,1.0
44729,jayteebee  nightmare hope you get back home soon and the device was nothing serious,2.0
44730,jennybeanses not a cloud in sight  nice breeze for now but ill be crawling into the freezer later to cool off  in the  today,0.0
44731,and he wuld strike out again ,2.0
44732,rnfjonasstack hahah i think a magical fairy is gonna come along and go poof and it will be like mad ass long and then you wont more ,0.0
44733,i have kinda given up on finding an opening song for now netflix here i come nite all ,0.0
44734,wifi is up and down at   probly no live blog after all ,2.0
44735, lol  yeah i think so  have fun for me as well,0.0
44736,rt  country music is for literally anything likeyoure happy countryyoure sad countryyoure heart broken countryy,0.0
44737,cfidel the only thing issince you actually typed the quotpquot wordyou will probably attract even more now ,2.0
44738,almost done with the new quotpinkquot room  down to the fun little details  ,0.0
44739,aww justine missed out  lol watching homemade now,2.0
44740,i miss cary and want to drink some chocolate milk with him ,2.0
44741,rt loonathebibian ok vivis storyline is actually so dramatic and sad tbh all she did was fall in love with a lesbian and then got killed,1.0
44742,the worst part of having a sunburn is trying to fall asleep ,2.0
44743,fading from pictures like in back to the future i am in a state of mind of simply not wanting to be anymore i dont want to exist or to ever be past present and future if i had a button i could press that would erase me from this world and everyones mind and memories i would press it it is the perfect suicide no pain to me and no pain to othersi dont feel lucky being alive i should have given this existence to the other soul behind me in line you know maybe they deserve this being more than i do i do not see beauty or appreciate things i look at the sunset skies filled with pastels of blue and magenta and feel fucking nothing i feel the grass under my feet soft and cold and tickling but it doesnt feel worth to appreciate my parents smile to each other my dog wags its tail when it sees me i have a good job and sometimes friends to laugh and play with i go to therapy and spill my heart out in front of the first person in my life that ever really listened to meyet all this good never gets past this depression shield the more i try to appreciate the good things in life the more i understand how little i react to them that gives me guilt and self judgment and right now that is very hard to carry i am not a strong person being alive is too much for me yet killing myself is terryfingsimply not existing seems like a perfect solution to me a perfect middleground between two very hard possibilities,3.0
44744,erinzorz i just found myself bored ,2.0
44745,is being surrounded by mozzies hate them those bloodsuckers ,2.0
44746,dulosis  i hope it feels better ,2.0
44747,jtothehellno i think it went well i have a face to face friday im pretty good at covering my anxiety during phone interviews luckily,0.0
44748,aprilmiss aww  you too ,0.0
44749,harthanson awwwthats so sad ,2.0
44750,new ive watched countless reddit videos about many topics but i only created this account to talk about my depression to vent  currently my family is not only unsupportive of getting help but as a college student i cant afford it when i was a toddler i remember grabbing a knife and holding it t my stomach and saying i was one day going to end it as a child i would make myself cry just to feel anything and naturally i began to self harm but stopped a few years ago my friends know i have depression but i dont know if they know how bad it is i have a good life good people surround me and an incredible partner but i dont have anything that makes me want t live at times i dont want to kill myself but i often wish i was never born or hope i can die saving some one at least that would have a valid reason,3.0
44751,toniambartz i had them before verizon and their phones didnt work as well here in ga verizon has good coverage just cant switch yet ,2.0
44752,i felt so lost and alone at school today i feel like i have to tell someone how i feel but its too hard to tell my parents or anyone in real life so here goestoday was a really hard day for me i was completely surrounded by people talking to one another and i couldnt help but feel invisible i walked around multiple times trying to initiate a conversation but was simply ignored by everyone it really hurt to be so lonely and it doesnt help that i have severe anxiety and depression but cant tell anyone because they wont take it seriously and will think im jokingwhat can i do at this point,3.0
44753,rise amp shine ,0.0
44754,loving windmills album right now beautifully arranged and haunting lyrics perfect for negotiating planes tubes amp trains ,0.0
44755,wordridden theyve been building a house next to us for over a year can i even describe how annoying that is at  for certain times ,2.0
44756,fighting my own mental demons is a nightmare i feel like i cant escape my mind some days ill be  next month and i still havent learned to cope with on how to deal with my anxiety and depression  i feel worthless,3.0
44757,flooded a new twitter acct with depressing thoughts how was your last hour,3.0
44758,kaydeejean try not to worry how much itll hurt its over before you notice my lupron shots are going ok so far you can do it ,0.0
44759,wishes she could see abts romeo  juliet ,2.0
44760,i feel like i wanna commit suicide im  and i like this girl and every time i see her i lighten up but when shes around other dudes i just feel empty like shes whats keeping me from committing suicide,3.0
44761,rt fact when someone tickles you your laughter is actually a sign of panic anxiety and nervousness,2.0
44762,leftoverqueen you will need either pectin or agar or you will have a very saucy end product ,0.0
44763,zirracus ah okay ill leave you too watching seems like im bothering you sorry for disturbing ,0.0
44764,i wake up and i dont know what to do maybe i will try my first strawberrys ,0.0
44765,depressive feelings and taking it out on others i am in the middle of exam time and slowly losing motivation  i feel like i can have a habit of taking it out on my partner and im just overall feeling shitty i try not to argue but im just feeling low ,3.0
44766,my backs burning from the beach today and my brother soccer game after  this sensation cannot be normal ,2.0
44767, you look so sad bb ,2.0
44768,someone i need a link for damned  thanks,0.0
44769,im feeling ill  i hate hospitals amp im freezing ,2.0
44770,canberrizza oh i missread your message  sad,2.0
44771,rt kweezus yall drinking to blackout and forget about all your problems and depression even if just for a short while ,1.0
44772,is wishing simon cowell would use twitter who else thinks that paulaabdul should convince him to get one ,0.0
44773,i feel like im going nowhere in life lately ive been struggling with life i keep thinking ill snap out of it but it hasnt happened all i can think of whenever im awake is what is the point if all of thisi have family and friends who love me and i know they would be devastated if i wasnt around anymore but at what point in life will i be living for myself instead of others why is is such a bad thing to not want to be on this planet anymore,3.0
44774,rt boburnham the star of our movie eighth grade wrote an essay about dealing with her anxiety its beautiful and brave and insightful,0.0
44775,mactavish thanks for the suggestion and the compliment showing off my new glasses after years of just contacts ,0.0
44776,its too beautiful to stay inside ,2.0
44777,howardlindzon still crushing and you didnt show up when i came to get you at perth airport on sunday ,2.0
44778,sunflowercynic i miss you already dearamp watched the episode of full house today with papouli ,2.0
44779,perezhilton heyyy perez  im gabi i think your great ,0.0
44780,vladtvstaff yeah  i smiled i thought it was a lil old school but kudos  making me smile  lol,0.0
44781,anyone just sit for hours at a time and let it waste with thought that was me today i wasted hours just sitting here from light to dark i hate feeling this way i feel paralyzed to do anything,3.0
44782,rt iamjeffemmerson i dont like crowds a lot i also dont like entertaining at home more than  or  people i actually like who arent,0.0
44783,mcbutterflyfan sent it ,0.0
44784,is looking forward to being back in la next weekits been over a month amp today i really started feeling homesick ,2.0
44785,geez it was hot today and cold yesterday  whats up with the weird weather cant it just stay warm everyday that would b nice ,0.0
44786,havng a splitting headache  loads of wrk  do as i was not in off yest n along wid all of dis i really wanna go meet bloodyc family,2.0
44787,kimikal i wish i didnt agree but thats unfortunately how it is  ,2.0
44788,i want the new iphone  s i want it   ,2.0
44789,mal ahí no me puedo dormir y empiezan a aparecer los pensamientos sad,2.0
44790,well today was fun at scout day campbig storm kids inside lightening hit tree almost hit my truck tomorrow is last day of this camp ,2.0
44791,angeeel first day was great haha how was yours ,0.0
44792,geeksyndicate happy birthday barry ,0.0
44793,back from sisters i am gonna misss her i wish we could hang out forever but we cant ,2.0
44794,nontapering short term withdrawal on pristiq i have been taking  pristiq daily for about a month now up until now ive taken the dose   hours from  hours after i had taken the previous dose yesterday i didnt take a dose until about  hours when i was scheduled to i hadnt been feeling symptoms of withdrawal except some blurred vision but today i felt overcome by anxiety—mostly chest knottedness—and exhaustion since pristiq desvenlafaxine has a notoriously short half life and vicious withdrawal symptoms im wondering whether withdrawal can occur after youve taken a dose because of the change in the equilibrium amount in your body due to taking it  half life late also im curious to know when you think you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms how soon after taking a dose you can expect them to begin to dissipate its entirely possible what i felt today wasnt the pristiq but i have been morbidly curious about the withdrawal since im not the best at consistency having some more info about how the withdrawal mechanism kicks in and shuts off would be helpful ,3.0
44795,askaaronlee professional twitter competitive by nature open and positve minded full time international mktg student part time imer ,0.0
44796,globalsoundtrks thought it was a good listen nice mixture of oddbutgood things bring on  ,0.0
44797,well i did run over a cat today i know how sad i cried and screamed my lungs out i felt horrible poor thing ,2.0
44798,theextravagate i know some entertaining accountants  if youre passionate about it thats all that matters ,0.0
44799,mandyyjirouxx morning  ,0.0
44800,im going to kamrt to buy a pair of those fake wannabe converse to rip up for saturday ,0.0
44801,wish i had a crew for rose bowl  alesha,2.0
44802,  it looks like its having a fit hahahaah but it was just rolling about in the sun  xx,0.0
44803,has decided i need to make myself a bedtime ,2.0
44804,📷 anxietyproblem this blog is dedicated to anyone suffering from anxiety please follow us if you can ,2.0
44805,lurkey  nice photo almost didnt recognize you   hows the feline,0.0
44806,me amp my twin all dressed up in promo gear for the hennessey black promo  tampg   ,0.0
44807,tannerprigmore outterspaceswag if they dont even know who its by makes me sad,1.0
44808, do you have a guitaro damn why does everybody has a guitar and play guitar i want it  ,2.0
44809,shanzz yonder to the left or to the right ,0.0
44810,i was awake  hours ago should have checked twitter ,2.0
44811,now its  more minutes isnt waiting fun   oh and also i have nothing to say,2.0
44812,i  repo if you have never seen itget your ass to the video store getting ready to watch a movie and sleep alone  i miss my hubby,2.0
44813,akelaa you asked what would make a non comic reader be interested or something like that i stopped reading when those two retired ,2.0
44814,anxiety is through the roof already in bed going to dive into youtube or netflix until i pass out in like  hours bye,0.0
44815,zenobiadtc  at olivias age  yrs is a bit too long  via powerwriter come on be honest you mean  our age we dont want to wait,0.0
44816,rt blkrnbow rates of suicide depression high in lgbtqi  community says napsarx lovebr  ,2.0
44817,juliannevictori hilig mo pala sa balls ,0.0
44818,xxxsupermodel yankees up  going into the bottom of the  think its safe to say we won this game ,0.0
44819,i want to die this past week has been especially bad its my lowest point maybe ever my ptsd has been making itself very clear lately with my sister and dad being home im dealing with dissociation and depersonalization i feel the meed to compulsively self harm on top of all that my ex told me i put no effort into pur relationship when ive been working my ass off every day i get up and try and no matter what it amounts to nothing in other peoples eyes,3.0
44820,mrxinu thank you for the mention in geekfit podcast  ,0.0
44821,just wait the perfect time itll be a bunch of people  ,2.0
44822,andreicaaat aww damn i can watch your vid on my bb  i feel lazy to go on my pc xd,2.0
44823, with them youll see a change over a shorter amount of time ,0.0
44824,not ready to face the day and so im going back to bed ,0.0
44825,mattimassacre nice  yeah so wish i could afford those things,0.0
44826,ill be damned if i stress over this not right before the season,1.0
44827,going to bedgotta b at work at  in the morn ,2.0
44828,it gets better a success story i used to frequent this sub for almost all the time ive been on reddit and since before ive made an account i related to the posts and it was cathartic in a senseabout this time last year i was starting the meds which didnt work they made me feel worsetherapy was mostly useless i felt like a failure and was at the lowest point in my lifebut now after a few months of slowly getting better ive felt happiness againand its fucking magicalall of you lovely fucking people are going to experience this i fucking promise you will it felt like there was no hope for me and there was and there is for youi love you all thank you for helping me at the worst point in my life,3.0
44829,i genuinely feel good after being depressed for over one year straight hey the past year ive been really depressed i tried to kill myself and felt like it wasnt getting better at all i somehow managed to deal with everyday life but i didnt really live i knew what kind of behavior was appropriate and i tried acting accordingly but i didnt feel what i was doing the destination of my thoughts was always suicide i thought about it a lot i planned multiple suicide attempts i wrote  farewell letters stuff like that now i slowly return to my true self its like im able to see the world in colour again its not that im always happy there are days i feel bad even days im depressed again but its way better than it used to be im in touch with my feelings again ive almost forgotten how sensitive i was i feel alive again and thats fucking amazingthe reason i post this here is that i wanna remind you and maybe even myself that it gets better you got this youre strong i believe in you no matter how bad you feel at the moment remember there will be times you feel better and that are worth living forstay safe guys youre strongass motherfuckers ,3.0
44830,this is me at my school literally every single fucking day  for more information gt  ,2.0
44831,things arent going well in my head lately even tho life is okay i  had to adjust my sleep schedule to work day shift instead of graves and for work this week because we had to do some training for some reason my depression was especially bad and i am aching to relapse cutting ive relapsed  other times after i started my road to recovery  years ago its been a rough couple years and ive done alright with my depression lately cause some things are starting to look up but im really depressed this week and honestly feel very suicidal the past couple of days i would see a doctor about it but i have no insurance as i am just a temp at my job currently i just dont feel okay and i just lost my best friend over a really stupid fight so i have no one i can talk to and my boyfriend of  years and  months already has so much on his plate i dont want to burden him i just need some advice i love my job and where im at currently im just getting bad again and my anxiety is telling me no one wants me around and everyone hates meand i believe it,3.0
44832,disappointment when i get my hopes up and then things dont go my way i get unreasonably sad it kinda shoots me into a depressive episode even if its a stupid thing like someone i was expecting to go to a concert with cant go im not sure why i overreact so much and honestly i dont know if this is even a symptom of depression but does anyone relate,3.0
44833,xfairyx it does indeed  theres a sizable games company community on twitter but its nice to meet other people from dundee on it too,0.0
44834,oh i was blocked out of a gc i wanna be sad but i was lowkey bored like gcs arent the same anymore tbh,2.0
44835,downward spiral again ive been depressed for pretty much my whole life in high school i was a terrible student and didnt expect to live past graduation my senior year in high school i tried to kill myself which obviously didnt work out after that for some reason i got my shit together i enrolled in community college studied hard got involved in clubs and took care of myself i ended up graduating with all as and transferred to the university of my dreams throughout the whole process my depression never wavered i kept fighting with the thought that maybe someday ill be happy im about a year out from graduating and ive started spiraling again i cant motivate myself to study or workout or even leave my apartment on some days ive become borderline agoraphobic and gained an embarrassing amount of weight i have pretty much no friends and theres not a single person i can talk to about this my grades have started to slip hard and i cant make myself care anymoreim sick of living for the next day im sick of telling myself to fight on while knowing that i will never truly be happy i know this feeling will never leavei think what makes depression so hard to fight is that in some cases its unrelenting its like carrying a bag of bricks in that you feel like you can hold it for now but eventually it will bring you to your knees and you wont be able to get back up im starting to feel like im at that pointi know im going to kill myself it might be next week next year or a decade from now but i know its going to happen no pill or therapist can save me its just a matter of time just grateful to have this space to vent,3.0
44836,alexismoney yea they are doing a season   ,0.0
44837, oh no youre right   mac versions all taken down httpmacoldappscomitunesphp,2.0
44838,bout to go wash clothesboring ,2.0
44839,maby we people with clinical depression see the world for what it really is and our state of depression is a natural biological reaction has anyone else thought about this i mean what if depression is a completely normal reaction because we see the world how it really is and the normal people are subconsciously depressed but jist believe they are happy and enjoy the world as it isi know this is highly unlikley but it is an interesting concept to think about,3.0
44840,in one weeks time my mental health has went further into 🚮 than i could have anticipated,1.0
44841,i reaaaaaaaaaally need my bf beside me i really wish he was here ,2.0
44842,smashd mah finger n the car   hurts all bad,2.0
44843,amalari im still getting the britney one coming round every day or so hk seems to be leaving me alone now ,0.0
44844,lilivonshtupp you should smell my office most of the time lady who works down the hall can be smelled all over the bldg ,2.0
44845,katellora how good are they ,0.0
44846,kbrne hey love i cant use my phone   so i wont be able to text bak till after workies ,2.0
44847,sick of pretending to be happy after a suicide attempt a couple years ago i got put in a hospital and one of the things i was taught there was to pretend to be happy long enough and eventually you will be so that was a lie i try my hardest every day to the point people at work think im psychotic or some kind of man child but acting a fool is the only thing that gets me through the day without plummeting into a deep dark state at work i dont understand how people are just happy and why it comes so easy to them life for me is just empty loneliness and im supposed to just smile and accept that and be happy i woke up today right well fuck that ive had a steady job for almost a year now and havent made a single friend not for lack of trying people just seem to avoid me some just stare at me all day and i can feel it piercing through me all day i feel like im constantly under a microscope like they cant wait to get rid of me unfortunately because i threw myself into debt along with my failed suicide i now have to stay with my parents again and they wont even converse with me i live my days at home in constant silence and the constant reminder im just a burden living in their house paying half their bills im almost ready to make another attempt my life isnt even that bad but i dont really see a way out of the hole ive put myself in and whats the point if im just going to live a lonely miserable life with that ill go to bedps sorry for my bad grammar and spelling i was an english flunky all through high school,3.0
44848, ways parents can help prevent teen depression ,1.0
44849, no recipe im just a damn chef  did you make a book list,0.0
44850,anyone wanna be friends with me this probably will end with me feeling upset and rejected but im honestly kind of tired of talking to people that dont understand me or that i dont feel a pull towards after reading some of the posts here i feel like im starting to understand why i say and do what i doage doesnt really matter to me at all i just would like a friend who understands what i talk about without going ok lolthanks ,3.0
44851,yo dats wack i just got out the shower im sittin on my bed naked wat next  niggas r crazzzyyyy lolwheres my plans son lol blahh,2.0
44852,earlsatan ive been textin you back but idk if youre gettin them ,2.0
44853,worse the guy leading the exercise is older than me ,2.0
44854,dokter kamu aja gamau makan sama stress gitu gimana mau sembuh tt,2.0
44855,apod aweinspiring ,0.0
44856,my note saw someone post their note here wanted to put my thoughts down in a place where no one i know can find them ive always felt some kind of guilt when i said i was depressed because i guess i didnt really have it that bad in life i hear about all of these poor teenagers that were born into abusive families and such and ive always just felt like i was being an overdramatic ass or something for how ive been feeling for the past few years i havent really gone through that much obvious hardship i guessim  years old and ive never dreamt of anything ive never had real ambitions or thought about what my future could hold i keep getting told that im a bright kid and i have a great future ahead of me but in the back of my head i knew i was gonna end up doing what im doing now when i was  i started feeling suicidal bit by bit i fell deeper into the pit feeling more hopeless with each passing year id make new friends and feel like i was feeling better then in a matter of weeks id ruin it and push them away its gotten to a point where i feel like im a burden no matter where i go or who im with i have very few friends left and it doesnt feel like they actually care about me feels more like they pity meidk how to explain it but i dont actually want to die theres actually a part of me that wants to cling to whatever i have left and start trying at life again im scared of dying but i just want to give up ive given up on school almost completely ive given up on trying to be sociable ive given up on trying to find reasons to live for i feel selfish doing this but i dont see the point in trying anymore i dont see a point in pathetically clinging to life at this point i guess i wanna take the easy way out feels like im meant to do thisno one really suspects im suicidal or depressed ive kept it as private as i could for as long as i could ive always thought about whether or not people would genuinely care if i went away i know i would get a few tears and whimpers but in a couple years time id just be a story anyway doesnt seem like theres much sense in sticking around just to feel numb every dayi love you all and i genuinely hope you dont meet the same fate as me,3.0
44857,just watched jonas on the internet cuzz missed it but it was great   i bet sharandhillon aka sharanjonas loved it ,0.0
44858,poo i found ddr and its kicking my a but im still awesome ,0.0
44859,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
44860,i just wish i can settle down  and not get distracted easily ,2.0
44861,princessaaa cuz the address on my license is my old house not my gmas and im actually lucky cuz i got reallyyy good hookups at the dmv ,0.0
44862,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
44863,the sims  is shit ,2.0
44864,twinbirch i have an amazing team at essential wholesale amp essentiallabs to back me up which allows me to do all that with my kids now ,0.0
44865,tracecyrus make popcorn ,0.0
44866,who killed robineccles i wanted to take my shot    zombieninja puma,2.0
44867,holding my cousins rabbit last night he fell asleep on me and then he peed on me ,2.0
44868,msknitsox good mornin amy notice my effort in positive thinking ,0.0
44869,i make the most of all this stress i try to live without regrets but im about to break a sweat im freakin out ,0.0
44870,yea i kno  u go down there jknowtruth,2.0
44871,big day today wedding activities already underway i guess theres no changing our minds now ,0.0
44872,inputting a couple of bpos before enjoying the rest of my saturday wating the food network while working   ,0.0
44873,i lost my job i lost my job i did everything i could to keep it i hate myself and i hate that i lost something so important to me im not having healthy thoughts,3.0
44874, heeey mariigabii whats wrong friend you know im here for everything  and u know im crazy and u cant deny it ,0.0
44875,its already june ,0.0
44876,i fucking hate myself i dont know why i always have im sick of trying to feel better i just want to kill myself,3.0
44877,gloriamcg i wish i could have gone you do alot of fun stuff i just stay at home  gotta get out,2.0
44878,raffale  black boxes probably are in the bottom of the ocean  chances to find it are close to none all is a mistery total mistery,2.0
44879,getting out of bed escaping hypersomnia it seems like the hardest part of my day is getting out of bed  once i take my meds everything smooths out for the most part  what are some strategies you use  im single and alone no pets ,3.0
44880,missing dad today wish i was home this morning ,2.0
44881,bye bye disney world     see ya soon  back home to louisiana,2.0
44882,our fav lifestyle couple coming over for dinner  play later nope  theyre bringing the kids  ,2.0
44883,idont wanna work ,2.0
44884,mrgslaughter excellent i love it i remember too ,0.0
44885,pearsonified jesus christthat is almost unbelievable time to learn css  any recommendations,2.0
44886,please retweetsupport groups were a huge part of my recovery from depressionthe power of support groups ,2.0
44887, hahha i know right its like its a nice relxaing day but then you have to get ready for the week and shitt ,2.0
44888,gonna take my dog out after watching spongebob ,0.0
44889,dannymacrant well it was more them laughing with me  even i knew there was something desperate and goofy about eating beans from a can,0.0
44890,shrnclrk  apparently she eventually heeded the call,0.0
44891,i cant stop comparing myself to others and feeling horrible for being less i always compare myself to others and i hate it it always makes me feel bad because im so bad at everything even the things i love but even worse is that when i see someone that i feel is worse than me at something i feel like im superior to them i know its bad and i hate so much when people feel superior to others but i cant stop doing it and it either makes me feel depressed or anxious or it makes me feel like a terrible person and i think i am,3.0
44892,for me therapy and treatment just made me a highfunctioning depressed person anyone else have this i really want a discussion about this i just wanted to ask people if after they received treatment they stopped their serious symptoms of depression but at the same time the general fucked up cloud and general feeling of sadness persist and that treatment has just made you a sad zombie who can function and pretend really well for people  ,3.0
44893,gma robin quotgmaquot im a chacha guide it is awesome i can vouch for that one join everyone ,0.0
44894,rt  depression is real among  high achievers its worsened by impostor syndrome  a psychological pattern in which an individ,1.0
44895,i finally did some chores today i know that doing chores are like second nature to most people but today i finally managed to pull myself together and do a few after putting almost everything off for the past few weeksso far ive managed to put on a few loads of laundry and pick up some old rubbish off the floor its just gone  but i feel like ive actually accomplished somethingwhenever i try to set my mind to something even as simple as putting the laundry away it takes me so long to actually do it because i feel so demotivated that i end up just needing to sit down and rest every task is normally so overwhelming at this point but today i feel a little sense of pride i did something its not much but its more than ive been able to do for a while,3.0
44896,heading home now yay was going to buy a much needed bottle of wine to drink with dinner but my wallet is mia so no wine for me tonight ,2.0
44897,mmm crunchy bran and strawberries  i love breakfast,0.0
44898,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
44899,now i know im depressed its been a while since the first time i thought i was depressed and to write something here yesterday i had the confirmation if i have to begin well i dont like to talk about my life but my father was in and out of my life ive struggled with a little problem since i was  getting an operation at  and having it again now i always been an emotional kid even when my hamster died i cried a lot well i loved my father i always did even if he argued with my mother i was always on his side almost  years ago my father died of cancer genetically inherited from my grandmother me my mother and my sister lived with him again for an year my mother and father broke up another time but this time we didnt have any contact for a year till my father called my mother saying he had cancer they never got married but before his death  months before they had a wedding at the hospital when he died i was hanging out with friends and when i came back at home there where some of my relatives then my mother said that my father was dead i didnt feel anything just a bit sad i wasnt shocked i didnt cry after this my life continued with some problems but continued i always been a bit sad a lot of anxiety cause of school even if all the anxiety was my fault because i studied little in this last year of school i didnt feel like doing what i liked it was strange i was getting bored watching tv series playing videogames and stuff even hanging out with friends was getting boring i didnt feel like doing anything its been very hard some days even getting up from bedi continued to play by inertia there was nothing better to do its not that i didnt like playing but every emotion i felt was less strong now im almost apathetic to everything and i hate it i would love to feel some emotions by watching a series or a film or by playing a videogame i did my research and i started to think that i had depression but i wasnt sure i started to have suicidal thoughts since  year ago sincerely i dont know exactly maybe im saying nonsense now in the last  weeks another problem showed i lost almost all of sexual desire as a filthy teenager i am its been years since i started to masturbate i always got easily aroused by starting to watch porn as every human being do but in the last days i hardly get aroused and its frustrating even if several days go by yesterday i searched another time and one of the symptoms was depression and other symptoms where not enjoying the activity you normally enjoy during the day i already did my research about losing interest in everything some months before but after this lost of sexual desire now i understand im depressed i always feared i was just growing up or maybe it was just my personality i thought that maybe this lack of sex drive depended on the recently discovery that i have a short frenulum or maybe from the fact i got really attracted to a person that got me make some doubts about stuff if you red till here i appreciate and sorry if i made some grammatical errors english isnt my first language this account is a throwaway im too shy to saying such private stuff about my life online mostly because i have some friends here on reddit anyway know i dont know what i have to do i know that depression can be helped by using antidepressants or by going to a psychologist  before the coronavirus spread i was supposed to have a session with the school psychologist any suggestions,3.0
44900,im so tired   waiting for my honey to come home so i can zzzzzz,2.0
44901,wellbutrin side effects i hope im not breaking the rules asking about a medication  ive been on several antidepressants in the past with limited results ive been on lexapro for a while it didnt seem to be helping and i wasnt happy with the sexual side effects my sister who also suffers from depression  anxiety suggested i try wellbutrin since it worked well for her my doctor prescribed  i was taking  of lexapro i immediately had side effects i would break into cold sweats i felt more anxious in public places plus i had terrible vivid dreams is this common will these effects go away eventually its been so frustrating id appreciate any feedback,3.0
44902,still watching south of nowhere on the  season watching these reminds me how pissed i am they canceled it  i love this show,2.0
44903,my bmi is  which is still normal normal range are  ,0.0
44904,just got ready in ten minutes now heading to work on a saturday ,2.0
44905,butt is sore   straight of amaths  chem ahh satisfaction,2.0
44906,i feel like a wreck for no reason thats all really sorry for no explanation i cant talk much since i need to sleep soon and i have a really bad headache this might go unnoticed but thats fine edit a lil bit of clarity i was actually feeling alright before going to bed but as soon as i went i had a meltdown its been happening to me for quite a while but last night in particular was a bad case i barely had any sleep waking up too early with also a handful of nightmares im feeling better than before but i still feel tired as always i wasnt expecring this post to be really noteworthy but i appreciate all of you who noticed also please excuse my bad english l,3.0
44907,lucid dreaming depression and disconnect from reality a little background i would classify myself as a highfunctioning depressive i go to school get fairly good grades and have fairly good self upkeep thats not to say that its extremely hard to get out of bed sometimes or get up from my pool of sadness to even take a shower i live with a narcissistic father and  mother i hate being awake having to listen to my ndad belittle me being his emotional punchingbag or being guilted repeatedly when i get home from school ill normally go straight to bed ill sleep for about  hours until dinner is ready most days ill just skip dinner altogether to avoid contact with my ndad and the rest of the family after eating ill normally take a shower do a little homework then its back to bed for another  hours ive noticed that almost every time i sleep i have lucid dreams its sort of my escape from the real world and i love it in this time i get to escape the pain depressive feelings social anxiety etc for a little while and be at peace with myself often ill daydream during class and recall portions of my lucid dreams but this can lead to confusion as to whether or not something actually happened or if it was just a dream i know this sleep pattern isnt healthy at this point i cant even classify my naps as siestas  ive heard that biphasic sleep is a thing but not like this its practically back to back sleeping with rem every time i wonder if its healthy and if anyone else has a similar pattern does it have to do something with my mental illnesses or is it completely separate tldr i hate being awake so i sleep to alleviate some suffering i have a biphasicesque sleep schedule that consists of practically backtoback sleeping i have lucid dreams almost every time and now am starting to confuse it with the reality ,3.0
44908,singin the song you had me at hello by adtr ,0.0
44909,douglain i would love to read a novel like that is this a trick question ,0.0
44910,shout out to the people that actually care just cried for about an hour to my fiancee because im going through a down period she made me shower and tried to make me laugh the whole time reassuring me that i matter and she cant imagine her life without me sorry if this makes anyone feel worse its just little moments like this at least for me that make you realize why you hang in,3.0
44911,has been having quotstomach problemsquot for waaay too long ,2.0
44912,davidarchie good morning david i felt that earthquake last nightthey always scare me haha but im glad your safe amp back in the us ,0.0
44913,goddamn my ass is on fire seriously whatever i ate last night at applebees burns on this end ,2.0
44914,alfrededmondjr doromarketing thanks al amp mama mia ,0.0
44915,nothing works out and i want to give up things were okay for a while i was learning to keep myself going with little of everything i had but recently my bag got stolen with my laptop amp my expensive phone that i spent a year saving up for in it with all my uni work and basically my entire life on it and im just at breaking point i go to uni full time i dont have a job i cant pay for the flat i live in anymore my boyfriend cant either and he thinks im a failure he never helps me pay or plan anything and he constantly cheats on me i cant do any uni course work im in debut i cant afford food i cant live anywhere else as i had abusive parents and left as fast as i could ive been dealing with depression and anxiety for the past couple of years and now im just back to the start i tried killing myself when i was  i only vaguley got help when i was younger as my mum never allowed me to get help or take medication and now i cant even afford any of that i feel so hopeless and defeated its like no matter what i do and how far i get it gets thrown back in my face it feels like im doomed to constantly struggle no matter now hard i try i just give up i dont want to be alive anymore ,3.0
44916,rt selinaeshraghi suicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a form of gun violencesuicide by firearm is a for,2.0
44917, lol that sucks thanks hopefully you wont get any rain tomorrow ,0.0
44918,francesvista hahaha yeaaah lets fly to the us and get the swine flu and bring it back here ohdba  its in ny daw so ny tayo ,0.0
44919,sometimes you have to cheat and lie to win contests but that is perfectly aokay with me ,0.0
44920,ps my default it the miley cyrus look haha  i love her so i tried and i cant mileycyrus,0.0
44921,jimgreer i did see that  when joi said he was meeting with yall it reminded me that i wanted to meetup and discuss strategy,0.0
44922,great i just felt a stab of jealousy in my chest ,2.0
44923,i l paris  city of looove    iconers do it better yall  am finally wearing the red string and damn proud of it  yiiikes  love,0.0
44924,rt craigslistlover this is so sad ,2.0
44925,carolinadeafgrl we went all over visited family relaxed and went shopping for a bit caught up on my reading ,0.0
44926,photo wheres my peter pan  ,2.0
44927,i cant remember why im sad anymore i know i used to have a valid reason for being sad other than loneliness but i honestly cant remember it i cant remember much of anything anymore i just wanted to share because i feel like i cant say this to my one friend i have because she deals with enough of my shit,3.0
44928,everything in my life revolves around my absence of happiness my daily routine wake up five minutes before work show up late fight through the fog of my day when people ask whats wrong i smile and blame it on insomnia when actually most of what i do is sleep come home turn on a song or show and go to sleep wake up a few hours later and eat whatever i have that takes the least amount of time to make and go back to bed i havent talked to my family in a very long time they stopped reaching out a while ago with the exception of my mom whom i ignore i just cant face anything real my job is full of people who really care about me a lot of them get frustrated that i get paid to basically not do much all day but my bosses assure me that im secure with this job and my performance is ok the people who know about what my life is like offer advice like go exercise eat healthier go to the bar and meet some guys talk to a therapist the idea of doing anything but coming home where im safe and its quiet makes me panic i dont really have any friends anymore nobody could really deal with hanging out with an empty shell of a person every now and then i have a surge of light maybe once every few weeks i feel motivated and i sing and laugh and have a great day clean my apartment play some music im having some clarity now i think its why im able to write this post and i wake up the next day and its gone and the rest of my week becomes trying to remember that feeling its only really been the past year and a half that has been this dark in school i got really good grades had friends dated hot guys partied and then i graduated went to the community colleges my town which most people do where im from and it kicked me in the ass the second week on top of that i had a falling out with a person at my school that everybody liked and suddenly i was public enemy number one i think after that i went to a total of three classes i met a guy who got me really into smoking weed to the point where i was high more often than not mostly i dont have energy to do anything i eat bread out of a bag because its fast and fills me up im lucky if i can get myself to shower on the weekends my apartment isnt in to bad of condition because i dont do much in it it kinda seems like nobody cares i mean if they did people would ask about how skinny i am or the horrible dark circles under my eyes i dont notice it myself but i cant image i look out together or smell nice and yet nobody brings it up all i do notice is that my coworkers stop talking when i come into the room any conversation i have with them is superficial like they want the conversation to end as soon as possible i would have been fired a long time ago if it werent for my boss i dont know what she sees in me but she always is very nice and buys me food and just goes out of the way do do things for me if anyone dares to talk out about me in a negative way at all she shuts it down immediately and this kind of makes me feel worse i dont want to be someones projecti wouldnt say im suicidal like i dont fight the urge to kill myself like i hear about online but i really do think about how id do it often i dont have access to a gun so hanging and crashing my car are the two that dont sound as horrible as other options i had a little bit of an awakening today i was on my way to home depot after work to get a rope just in case i ever got to the point of wanting it to end badly enough to do it i dont think id want to go rope shopping in that moment anyway a song came on the radio katy perry teenage dream yeah i know its dumb and it made me laugh because well its a long story but its good memories and this ive had a good rest of my day ive actually felt awake thank you if youve read this far i think posting here is the closest thing i can do to getting help that i can manage for the time being sorry if its long i really just wanted to say as much as i could to someone who might not think im a waste of space as i could before i sink back into that dark place ,3.0
44929,keep trying to get into the habit of working out prob is i do it too late then dont feel like sleeping then im tired the next day ,2.0
44930,missannakay i was until i lost to a chinese girl a little bitter about that i probably should have won but i beat the grl before her ,0.0
44931,about to get ready to go to da mall need to shop for a gift ,0.0
44932,for some reason my iphone is speaking the auto corrections on mail but no where else even though assistance functions are turned off ,2.0
44933,gonna watch the mtv awards too bad im not there ,2.0
44934,rt jamilahlemieux that unattended baby in the window makes me anxious ,2.0
44935,telling someone about my condition—will i regret it hi yalls im at a very weird place right now my meds dont seem to be working im skipping classes so grades are falling been selfharming more my mind is preoccupied with suicidal ideation all the time yet i still act normally with my roommate who is also my best friend and possibly the sweetest gal in this universe i am aware that ive been acting super hermity and flakey recently but i dont know if i should tell my roommate i feel like she deserves to know but at the same time im really scared about how that information could change our relationship im also one to not talk to anyone else about my problems being the one other ppl come to for venting but recently it just seems like ive been in this stupid cycle of me trying to convince myself that im okay with really fuckedup coping mechanisms i dont want to seek help but i also dont know if telling my closest friend will do any goodbasically im just curious if any of yalls have experiences where you told someone about your condition amp how that turned out,3.0
44936,i seriously think that i suffer from insomnia i need some fuckin tylenol pm my ankle and knee kill ,2.0
44937, tmm  thats awesome congrats  always wanted to be in that show  ,0.0
44938,brendanschaub lastchanceu netflix did you watch the recap episode discussing where are they now from season  an ,1.0
44939,going to bed ,0.0
44940,staceykoop  yay congrats girl im so happy for you i love u and miss you more than you knowgtgt ,2.0
44941,just got home hating the vocab final tomorrow ,2.0
44942,johncmayer  dudeee im sorry l dont worry everything will get better,2.0
44943,officially sad ,2.0
44944,adisthieeewww yolando si nadsnadiah nyuru ochiemanan main ke tmpt krjnya di ps ktnya ajakin  yg lain jg yah gt ehehe ,0.0
44945,it feels like no one is there for me anymore this is why my cuts are getting deeper and bloodier the people who have loved me and supported me have either turned against me or stopped showing me that they care i reach out to people and they turn me away but at the same time i dont want to push my problems onto other people im in so much emotional pain and i dont know how to express it i feel like im in this alone,3.0
44946,nickcarter   lucky girl were the fries good nice pic ,0.0
44947,imsokay oh i hope some  people would write chekovscotty they dont seem popular and it makes me sad ,2.0
44948,eqtraining wokiahu wokiahu beautifulbc dancingyoga mdhawan thanks for the retweets all have a great week ,0.0
44949,back home been interrogated for two hours they did not give back my passport ,2.0
44950, oh  est thanks so much ,0.0
44951,feeling like its me against the world i have this solipsistic feeling that everyone is disappointed in me i thought i would be fine but im in another rut it seems like im an actor stuck on a stage in front of the world im a failure they make me feel the weight of the world and make sure that ill never progress sucks man,3.0
44952,  ugh mutated viruses im going to direct message you,2.0
44953,zakschwank yes everybody walked away ok thank goodness but now i have to get my car fixed ,2.0
44954,why cant i feel joy about anything today after a while of time i started to think about who am i and why am i like how i am and i got to the conclusion that i dont feel really happy about anything when i go out with friends im just bored and dont really know how to talk to them or what to talk about when i do stuff i used to like i just dont feel happy doing them when i fail at anything i just start to think that is because im stupid and i cant really do anything i really dont know what to do to feel better can someone give me tips on this i dont know why this is happening because is not like my life is shit it could be a lot worse than it issorry for the grammar english is my second language,3.0
44955,i hear ya love except ive had weekdrop  crazy subdrop rt nayali is experiencing weekend drop ,2.0
44956,ive attended three different colleges dropped out four times due to depression every time i start school i am inspired and motivated i do so well then something happens something fucks up my life and i spiral into an incurable depressionmy family is so disappointed in me ive only attended two semesters straight without dropping out they think im a failure and i wont get anywhere in life they think college  success no college  mcdonalds last semester i dropped because i lost my job i was broke depressed and i struggled with my major the semester before that i lost my house to a flood i was homeless for weeksand now this semester my boyfriend of two years suddenly realized he doesnt love me he built up this life for me abandoned it and now i dont know how to function alone when your leg breaks the doctors give you a crutch for a reason so you can slowly heal and learn how to walk normally again i didnt even get that so im pretty helpless right now he was my rock and now that hes gone im a messthe one good thing is that im getting veneers eight of them im going to look so beautiful but these past two weeks have been absolute hell my temporaries fall off almost every day so im left having a mental breakdown calling my dentist who is an hour and a half away to put them back on before work  school  etc that has seriously fucked up my life im getting them put on tomorrow so the struggle will end soon but today i had to call out of work because my two front ones fell out and god it sucks so much and then i missed my classes again because im sick and ugh god everything sucksif youve read all of this thank you im hoping things get better i feel like such a failure why cant i ever just do school how come everyone breezes through it but every time i try to finish something happens and i have to drop out i feel like the universe just does not want me to be in school but what else am i going to do the only other thing i have going for me is my acting and modeling but thats a gamble thanks for reading yall ,3.0
44957,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
44958,just got back from sm sta mesa with dad and tabs ,0.0
44959,paigetjohnson  you have to gooooo this is going to be like the messengers fiasco of  where i was stuck seeing it with just justin,2.0
44960,rt talkdepress did you know depression can also affect how you think take the symptom quiz  ,1.0
44961,please just let me go already please im exhaustedis it time to go already i really dont wanna go through anything anymore,3.0
44962,ah my poor cat has just had a massive abscess burst on his neck he looks ill  we have snipped off loads of his fur too,2.0
44963,  good match gerrard set another personal achievement just like liverpool first  points now  setting high standards ,0.0
44964, yes definitely yes remember to invite me to that  really looking forward to it  enjoy your hol if dont speak to you before,0.0
44965,mileycyrus where i can vote for youu  i looove yoou please answer my question  ohh i come from germany  answer pleaasee ,0.0
44966,arameabonita thanks how are you doing we never get to talk anymore miss you ,0.0
44967,jodikicksass first days are so nerve wracking but youll do fine flash that pretty smile and theyll all bow before you lol ,0.0
44968,karoleenka karolinka  i promise to stay away  get some rest,0.0
44969,dream on  ahh all my dreams crushed all i wanted was to get coffee dude,2.0
44970,you dum dum give me gum gum ,0.0
44971,i quit lexapro and thought i was doing better until now i stopped taking them early jan and it wasnt until late feb that i finally made it past the horrible withdrawal symptoms which honestly were not even as bad as how i felt before having started taking them ive been on them for three years and i thought i was doing okay in my life and id be fine without them then just out of the blue my friend started ignoring me and told me to stop talking to her and it just fucked me up hard she wont tell me why or say anything to me beside  youve been ignoring me so idk why youd want to talk to me now these past two weeks i cant get out of bed and it feels like someone just shoved a rain cloud in my chesti wish i could take back whatever i did i wish i knew whatever it was i wish i could still talk to you i wish i was a better friend im so sorry,3.0
44972,anxiety and depression affecting my work i suffered a long time from depression and anxiety i was first given meds for it in middle school but i did not take them for long my mom would always freak out about everything so i spent too much time at doctors and treatment centers i just grew to hating health care places and doctors i dont take any meds and just try to get through lifeive always had a problem with working and school every job ive had i had quit because anxiety and depression and growing frustrated with trying to get through every day the most recent job i quit was last month i just got a new job last week but im already done with it most times it takes a few months before i quit but i cannot do this job im always in a large crowd of people and they are all very disrespectful and loud i also work a lot harder than my last job and it is already physically wearing on me its a factorywarehouse jobim already late on all my bills because i was in between switching jobs i didnt even work enough days to pay my bills and i already feel like i cant do it anymore ive started getting bad migraines and i had to leave work early yesterday after only two hours there this morning i was just so depressed and anxious that i couldnt stop crying or hold myself together i had to call off againwhat are my options for treatments its starting to get very obvious to me that i cannot function without some meds or a therapist or something is it possible i can go to the emergency room or a urgent care i do not have a primary doctor and i need to make it back to work as soon as i can but i just cant hold myself together,3.0
44973,my anxiety and nerves already on ,2.0
44974,i wish i was n la for the lakers parade ,2.0
44975,stephanisunset i didnt get one either  mel doesnt love us,2.0
44976,i wanna see taylor swift in concert so bad but we cant afford them ,2.0
44977,is thinking should i or should i not ,2.0
44978,i may just be to happy i feel a fall coming on i hope its just the the last step on the stairs ,0.0
44979,shadybrady you wanna rip me some of that vampire weekend goodness  happy mooonday,0.0
44980,ex has hurt me beyond help so ive sadly split from my partner of  years she was toxic but i loved her and still do it wasnt an choice but she kept doing the same hurtful things we have two kids we are still living under the same roof because i cant afford to leave yet its only been  weeks max and things have e been amicable what has tipped me over the edge is finding out she is sexting other men i know that i can go on living now after that the pain is so incredible fuck it hurts so bad she was my best friend for  years and she just doesnt stop the hurt i think im gonna kill myself before the weekend ive got nothing else,3.0
44981, ohh  i hope everythings ok,2.0
44982,im gonna get my  x  picture taken now ,0.0
44983,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
44984,does she reply to someone whose not a celebrity ,2.0
44985,sipping on tequila  squirt bout to grill up some tbones not to mention the best garlic bacon chive mashed potatoes ever ,0.0
44986,nobody cares being on break makes me more depressed i know its probably not true but theres always that possibility that everyone i know doesnt care about me,3.0
44987,rt  i want a baby so bad i want to hear my baby call me mom for the first time and every time after that and im just so sad,0.0
44988,please help have had a history of trauma and depression all my life and wanted to know if anyone can provide advice my attacks are sporadic and sometimes i cant pinpoint what triggered them was able to talk myself out of suicide today and im very desperatethroughout the week im okay i workout a lot have a good job spend time with my girlfriend etc but there are times where my mood randomly shifts and i cant shower workout or do any work and it takes days to recover im usually very depressed and try to resist suicide in this state and i suddenly lose interests in my hobbies but then i suddenly get better looking to get a new therapist cause the ones ive had havent worked out before looking for any advice on improving my regimen or what to look for in therapy thanks more about me belowcurrently  and ive been and out therapy for  years with a history of mental and physical abuse since i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder panic disorder anxiety borderline personality disorder and ptsd from  different therapists have been on prozac zoloft xanax methoprazine fluoxetine vyvanse was misdiagnosed with adhd once and put on this and  other ssri for ptsd i cant rememberi eat a mostly plant based diet with eggs every now and then no processed or sugary foodsworkout  times a week with strength training and cardiocurrent supplement stack is  mcg of   of magnesium lysinate  of tumeric and  of zinc gluconate also trying to cut out caffeine as it makes me more anxious if i have more than half a cup a dayi have a planner for my workday and personal stuff make todolists and use the pomodoro method for tasks and it helps quite well i also try and layout clothes near my bed in case im having an episode and cant make it out the door and need to go the gymworkhospitalthanks again and sorry in advance for spellingformatting errors,3.0
44989,rt alyssakaay this man passed a voice stress test he was asked did he approach him this nigga says no when they clearly have the ,1.0
44990,mikeeisenberg maybe thats why you are sick ,0.0
44991,i could beat coachella ,2.0
44992,anyone else constantly hyperfocused on how you are feeling mentally and physically i cant tell if this is symptom of my depression or a contributing cause but i am obsessively concerned about how i am feeling at all timesmy obsessive thoughts includegtwhy cant i be happy gtwhy do i feel like shit all the time gtwhy am i so tired gthow am i feeling right now i am also obsessively concerned with my physical comfort at any giving moment especially how my medications are affecting me i am starting to wonder if this introspective mindset is making me feel worse than i really am  in the same way that if i think about having an itch ill feel one i wouldnt notice otherwise,3.0
44993,i am pushing the man i love further and further away yet i feel unable to be any different lobotomy please ,2.0
44994,have a slice today was my birthday 🎂 ive been feeling good for a a few months now but wanted to wait for my birthday to make sure i was fine after two long fucking years i think i can finally say im happy you guys have always been the best there ever was and all truly deserve a slice of my birthday cake im not going to be leaving the sub however so im still going to comment here and there to help everyone lets just hope  is gonna be a good one for me,3.0
44995,statelines ,2.0
44996,ozmule cant be that bad can it  youve had me on the support crew ,0.0
44997,rumblepurr so whos the winner im not participating since i already won  i know answer though pussycatisland,0.0
44998,bye names kelsey sipes from muskogeeok havent been in a good mood past  weeks was sellin my nudes on snapchat selling pcp allie bennett left me so really depressed now putting fentanyl in muskogees water source power fent and hospital grade fent anyone try to stop me ill have my pink glock  with  clips loaded n  rounds amp after im going to the mall unloadin im not afraid bye,3.0
44999,most of the celebration cleaning is donenow get the gardens ready for later this afternoonpaintboy is working hard today with out paint ,0.0
45000,i think that  is the best person ever and even though i cant get much better out of my headi hate the song ,2.0
45001,gonna spend my birthday alone again this year feel like im wasting away every year that goes by and i spend my birthday all alone i remember when i was a kid it was a big deal i would have all of my friends over now i just look in the mirror and think damn im  where did my life go everyday that goes by feels like a missed opportunity to actually do something with myself and my birthday is always the biggest slap in the face because its a whole year,3.0
45002,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
45003,ruthsiobhan i would but the cream would go off in transit ,0.0
45004,yllis hes not amish  hes clockwork orange  well now that i look at it again dhell yah amish,2.0
45005,diets are not really all that great ,2.0
45006,awh man drunk adults are gone  they were in my house from  till   thats madness haha,2.0
45007, i know  i think i have summeritis too ,0.0
45008,katewhinesalot i admitthey are an interesting quotfavorquot just hate for them to go to waste you know  i hope you have a great time on,0.0
45009,oh day dreams so much better than night dreams because you get to control what happens and can remember them afterward ,0.0
45010,rt erikasannn me ando super bem da ansiedade anxiety yeah bitch you thought meanxietymeanxiety panic attack,1.0
45011, travellinda well we have no sun at all just rain  so enjoy the little you have for the moment,2.0
45012, we got no invite for wine lol ,0.0
45013,might have to take a break from social media manthis depression too real,2.0
45014,why is it back i found happiness for a while years really i had very few times i thought that i desperately needed something to change or i couldnt keep going but for the last few days depression is back with no explanation at all i know something is terribly wrong with me but i dont have a clue why was it the show i was watching that was a little disappointing or the stress of my rent going up i have  so i shouldnt be shocked i guess but its been so well in control for so long because my kids are great and my love for them brings happiness these last days though i cant get myself into mommy mode at all i feel devastated like there is no future to look forward to and that i wish i could tun off my brain and wake up next to one of my old friends that ditched me a while ago who i used to tell everything toim pathetic i know maybe thats ok but it hurts,3.0
45015,hoping to make a move to south carolina but not sure if well make it ,2.0
45016,lunch text me ,0.0
45017,i am missing mitchelmusso amp drewseeley theyre like  miles from me right now ,2.0
45018,one of my friggin exes so this is goodbye ,2.0
45019,is feeling sad  anyone out thr going to help cheer me up a joke mayb,2.0
45020, you said you were nervous ive had over  so i was going to try and calm your nerves ,0.0
45021,got some sleep i stayed up late filling out character sheets of new dnd characters i would like to try i still got  hours of sleep and thats the most ive slept in a while i still feel exhausted but i think i can go to the store today to get new dice ill see how i feel driving today,3.0
45022,rob got back from download alive ,0.0
45023,tommcfly dannymcfly mcflyharry dougiemcfly and that makes me feel so ridiculous ,2.0
45024,once again i think of giving up on my life a little girl who can not take care of herselfa little girl who is too weaka little girl who is a burden for the otherswhom she loves the most and being most important to hera little girl who wants to diei am tired of saying sorryi am tired all day thinking how small and useless i wasdont make funeral for a heartless selfish person who chooses to leave her own lifejust drop my ash of the seaone last time i want not to be trapped i want to be in somewhere i dont have to suffer,3.0
45025,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
45026,why is every song im hearing on the radio right now making me want to cry they all relate to me somehow ,2.0
45027,did real good in his psych test and psych lab report ,0.0
45028,i got a sunburn today cause i am a pale freak and now i am all itchy its so annoying ,2.0
45029,my rums i think my daddy drank it ,2.0
45030,sure wish the cat would stop hiding ,2.0
45031,the thought of tomorrow is what keeps me alive every day the same routine sleep till  look at phone for an hour cold shower back to bed rinse and repeat rinse and repeat i think to myself why why am i doing this i cant harbour the mental capacity to even attempt to answer that question so back to bed i go but as i wake up from my disgruntled sleep throughout the long night i rise from my pit with a thought a thought of what ifwhat if i actually eat tomorrow what if i go outside and breathe the fresh air what if i graduate from college what if i am destined to become successful what ifi am no longer depressed ,3.0
45032,i know everyone on here likes to make light of this depression thing but i really dont wish this feeling on anyone,1.0
45033,i stopped taking my antidepressants a few weeks ago and god damn i regret it so much i stopped because i didnt really think i had depression and i thought my meds would make me gain weight i started noticing a slight downward shift in my mood starting a few weeks ago but today was just awful for me im stuck between being super excited and wanting to slam my head really hard into a brick wall,3.0
45034,themadderhat i hate when that happens ,2.0
45035,night at the museum awesome ,0.0
45036,benshephard diversity may have it based on uk votes but it seems that americans may affect the outcome by voting for susan boyle ,2.0
45037,did lunch  pine croft thats always a safe bet and emily got her ice cream chocolate with mini m amp ms ,0.0
45038,so tired but most of the house is clean only sad part is i shampooed the entire house before i realized the machine wasnt working ,2.0
45039,kaydeescrafts lol sounds like me food is my weakness  odd glass of winevodka whatever ,0.0
45040,mzawkward i wish i had tha channel ,2.0
45041,how do people make friends  i never have had friends never been to parties never had a girlfriend every day i wake up go to work have  interaction with my coworkers if it wasnt for my brother i would completely be alonei am missing something or i am just doomed to be forever alone ,3.0
45042,hurt my eye w mascara a red eye isnt the look i was going for ,2.0
45043,davesi aaw that sucks crappy shows like the mtv movie awards get streamed and torrented ,2.0
45044,ncisfanatic ha i am stuck at   fine by me lol,0.0
45045,got half my new bike just gotta get me a frame son need for speed will get retired soon haha ,0.0
45046,busy transferring personal files from pc to laptop my oh my july will be a crazy month for me ,0.0
45047,willowbrook mallll and movies  girls day with katiekinsss,0.0
45048,krumpet if religious people bash atheists thats kosher but atheists are called quotintolerantquot and quotarrogantquot if we do it ,2.0
45049,stuck in bed havent moved for  weeks not going into uni not brushing my teeth or washing want to die i give up every time i think im getting better i go back into depression,3.0
45050,fiestygwennnn hahah  yeahh unfortunately when are we hanging out girl hahah,0.0
45051,yuvipanda admit it  i got you playin ,0.0
45052,cant see blogspot sites on his hiptop ,2.0
45053,finally back home after the trip  i missed home so much off to bed now,0.0
45054,my tummy is bad today ,2.0
45055,myotherhand cireasa pfff ,2.0
45056, i cant wait to see it and be a part of it this summer ,0.0
45057,bupropion and eye sight ive started bupropion a week ago for the last couple of days my eye sight got worse i know it can be one of the side effects will it pass in a few weeks as the other side effects supposed to or my eye sight will be bad as long as i take the medicine,3.0
45058,is it ok to be depressed should i be trying to get out of the depressed state that im in yesterday i was happy and hanging out with a friend now were going to the movies today and in the back of my head idk why im having anxiety about going wether i feel people will be judging me insecurities lack of confidence feeling uncomfortable right now i cant get myself to get ready and take a shower probably what i need this feeling im over it its so off and on its so hard bring around people i just wanna be alone is there something wrong with me ,3.0
45059, no you dont  you forqot about me,2.0
45060,standingsushi gabriel knight  and maniac mansion were my sierra faves ,0.0
45061, yeah got it but was on my way with hubby to garage etc ,2.0
45062,yeyi just graduated from high school lol now preparing to collage ,0.0
45063,omyfreakinjonas no  i am just trying to get him to get my ny tshirt and my video camera that i need in like  weeks,2.0
45064,protegeimages yep the taste of chicago starts thursday the day im leaving ,2.0
45065,nm tweets are postcards butless easily retrievable than archived email saved on my machine ,0.0
45066,work i dont want to go to work im a  year old man how do you get used to working everyday i work in masonry and court resurfacing,3.0
45067,my son is the greatest man that ever lived  ,0.0
45068,just finished watching talladega nightsand i cant sleep  why is my room so hot at night ,2.0
45069,thextoddster you meet a nice australian boy how cute ,0.0
45070,maggiedammit im so sorry for your loss  ,2.0
45071, u got that right ,0.0
45072,i cant seem to do anything for longer than a few months without losing interest completely ive been struggling with this crushing hopelessness for years now i cant hold down a job because i get established and competent in whatever im doing and then im just blindsided by this wave of apathy and ennui i inevitably end up losing my job or being off sick for ages finding something new throwing myself into it and then following the same patternthe last time i tried to break out by going back to college to study something im passionate about  but the same cycle has set in i dont care enough to do the course work and i cant imagine myself doing it for a living any more this was supposed to be my golden ticket the silver bullet that killed the black dog and yet its all just the same patterns ive put my family wife and kids under extreme financial stress to do this and yet here we are again  ive recently gotten a parttime job to earn some money and im enjoying it but i can already feel that lack of interest creeping in im literally stuck at the same impasse i cant kill myself because i honestly dont want to put my wife and children through that i dont want to continue living either because the thought of this gnawing darkness for another  years is unbearable im religious and theologically at least think life is a precious thing but im now at the point that im almost hoping for a freak accident  a car crash or a heart attack to wipe me out in a guilt free way ive been through a cycle of meds that have zombified me and ive been off them for the past  months and been better unmediated but not much this is with doctors permission i tried cbd which helped a bit for a while but no lasting effects im literally stuck in this same spot and i dont know how to move this post will probably hopefully get buried and thats cool i just needed to vent,3.0
45073,lucky 😭,2.0
45074,life spiraling downwards im self destructing ate food fit for  people nonstop for the past  weeks fridge empty i feel like an addict  i feel so guilty broke and joblessi am binging on food one of the sources of my depression i am hiding out in this shthole one room apt grateful for the refuge from the world yet hating it for feeding my illness its my whole world i hate it but i cant leave it im ungrateful idk why my mom allows my grown self to live rentexpense free i dont know why she puts up with me with good reason im being threatened with being put out shes not going to be around foreveri have to suuport myself i almost want her to kick me outpolice and everything that would force me to get and keep a job and be an adult anxiety be damned im an adult still being supported cant hold down a steady job cant go outside and no normal things from bad social anxiety ive been trying to work up the nerve for months to go to a cattle call at a call center known for high turnover but cant worthless no one to talk to i dont have a friend or relative i can call to even say good morning people alienate u when they sense your depression desperately lonely i want therapy desperately tried to get an appnt but when ur uninsured theres only so much help u can get just swallowing prozac isnt helping me i really want help i want to get better but im starting to feel tired from fighting for the will to live i still want to though i just need help ,3.0
45075,is going to be an aunt and just had some champagne for dinner to celebrate bellys feeling pretty warm right about now ,0.0
45076,relaxing with the lwandlemeister ahh good times ,0.0
45077, imagine that  i know the feeling  ,0.0
45078,bubbleschuchi well lets keep on trying lol  seeya tomoro xx,0.0
45079,just had an amazing dinner at the chop house with kevin  now heading to a friends,0.0
45080,my tutu is very nervous about this n korea stuff she says shes been eating so much out of stress ,2.0
45081,hope my roommates having a good morning without tp and soap ,0.0
45082,lisahopecyrus wow im laughing for the first time today ,0.0
45083,at least i outlasted phil ivey ,0.0
45084,hanging around ,0.0
45085,checked the mail today no teaching hope book    oh where oh where is my teaching hope book oh where of where can it be,2.0
45086,new business idea from a night out with the friendssssswell einie mienie minymos gonna be one rich biitchbelieve it ,0.0
45087,today  drive to kiama auntys party  drive to the roundhouse tgp then home ,0.0
45088,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
45089,at what point do i stop trying ive been in a vicious homelessalmost homeless situation for almost a decade i dont know what home feels like anymore i try so hard and find help and then i finally get some and everything falls apart at the last second im not a addict zero judgement here im educated and kind to everyone and that might sound lame but the one thing that hasnt been taking from me is my kindness to others its all i have,3.0
45090,saw friends i havent seen in years last nite glad we could pick up where we left off ,0.0
45091,help for depersonalisation hello my friend has been going through depression and is very badly affected by depersonalisation i dont know what to do and i cant help them to feel like them again does anyone know how i can help themany responses are greatly appreciated,3.0
45092, thank you  thought you might block me need to disappear now catch up sometime soon ,0.0
45093,do you guys think i might have depression i have never actually been diagnosed or anything but for the past year and a half or so i have been generally feeling like this i have literally no motivation left to do anything during my free time and in breaks from college like right now i just lay at home depressed and anxious i harness the tiny amount of willpower i have into my academics and thats about it nothing genuinely keeps my interest or makes me happy i miss the feeling i used to get when things like books and video games tv and movies would make me happy now i cant focus on them and they bore me too easily in general i just hate myself and have very low self esteem which is manifested in the form of social anxiety and feeing bad about my appearance or thinking that im boring and have no personality,3.0
45094,thastudd haha why thank you im gonna try and crash out on a couple hours of sleep ill quottweetquot you later ,0.0
45095,trying to be positive by viewing all sleep as a nap getting only five hours of sleep sounds sad but taking a five hour nap sounds awesome,0.0
45096,ughh pakistan lost they need to beat holland by a huge margin to get to the super eight gaaahh ,2.0
45097,im a horrible child and my parents are feed up with my attitude im in my last semester of gr  and we moved houses so now i have to take the bus for an hour and half to get to school my parent cant drive me because they have work and they do work hard to support us i have been a bit depressed over this and have turned down all of their suggestions when they try to help me they finally got fed up with all by bullshit and i realized im a horrible kid,3.0
45098,can affects of depression last years even though you might not feel or think you are depressed a few years back i hit a mental block of sort i was unsure of my future impostor syndrome kicked in grad school i was in love with someone for far too long and which was never reciprocated i thought it was a phase that lasted a few months because things felt fine after  to  months an online test from the university health center said i might be mildly depressed but i never talked to anyonesince then i have had a pattern of problemsi dont like sleeping much but i do end up sleeping more than id like last year i tracked it and i slept  hours or more than average not much but still quite a bit for my tastei have been very lazy for the past few years i couldnt get a job on my own around the time i graduated from grad school i never managed to push myself to learn the appropriate skills needed to perform better in my field this continued when i got a job i was not very productive there when i lost that job because the startup closed i again failed to find a job on my own skillset eventually i had to leave that country because i couldnt find a job in time i kept failing all the time thinking how i was failing myself and my parents i couldnt get myself to be productive this included personal failures as well that has continued till now as well i got a job which is great but i am not pushing myself its a remote work from home job and that might be the reason im further discouraged because i didnt want a life back in my current country and i havent made the effort to try for jobs outside my country and such i rarely leave my house here for my job i work during the night because rest of my team is in the us and since many of my good friends are in the us there is no social life i do try to take some walks to get out of the house and try to be more fit but nothing else past two months i have not been enough productive to do well at my job past  days i have done no work and i mean no work i have slept for  hours per day on average past week i have only slept and watched tv shows instead of working such phases keep happening with me on smaller scales as well more often than id like to admit i feel the pattern of me being lazy and unproductive is always there and i cant seem to get rid of it i have tried lots of ways to keep track of things and improve but it all crashes sooner or later for mei am with family but i feel alone because i wish to be in a relationship ironically i feel thats wrong because i think being in a relationship would make me happy and thats not a good way to think about relationships as per me i wish to be in a place where i can achieve my professional and personal goals there are a lot of things i never tried and i wish to do them now like draw and paint more and learn to play or create music  but i am not able to push myself towards them either i delay everything my current job is a contract and im sure they wont continue it given my poor performance till nowi dont know if i was depressed or not few years back i dont know if im depressed now or im just naturally lazy i just dont know how i can be a better version of myselfi think i am asking this to try to reassure myself that maybe this is something not in my control and thats why this has been happening maybe im not the root cause of these failures in my personality and attitude but im afraid that in the end it will come down to me having to push myself out of this and nothing external will work ,3.0
45099,the struggle is real but so is god🙏 anxiety depression panicattacks ,1.0
45100,muertenthesnw yes dinaaie doesnt get paid for her days off  which doesnt help our situation with all the bad luck lately,2.0
45101,hanging out with the family ,0.0
45102,alone i guess nobody wants me my dad kicked me out and my mom threatens to do the same all the time left my girlfriend a while ago because i was extremely depressed its even worse now i cant talk to anyone who wont just tell me to kick dust or put me in a mental ward everyone i meet leaves me everyone ever last person i know just doesnt want to be around me,3.0
45103,dumb and dumber has just started on comedy central but i must admit i forgot how crap it really was  im off to bed now night,2.0
45104,musicmonday ,0.0
45105,i just need to rant my best friend drowned in september my dog died in november and the majority of my friends dumped me yesterday they made a group chat to talk about me in which they talked about how they wouldnt say anything to me in person because they dont want to be written in my suicide note i am the only junior they are all seniors i imagined how hard it was going to be for me next year when they were all in college now the problems seem so small considering that i got to read about how much all of them hate me now i get to see them every day until the end of the year the only junior friends that i did have dumped me  weeks ago i am now alone it hurts so much i know people have much worse problems than me so im sorry if this was annoying to read i just needed to rant,3.0
45106,justtimberlake ahh justinnive been with u since day onee with nsynccc lol u were always my favoriteand still are ,0.0
45107,just venting so im writing this so i wont kill myselfi dont have any money my medicine isnt working i dont have any food at home or basic higine items i literally have one roll of tp left im deep in debt that only gets bigger and bigger and i cant never pay it the only reason why i dont kill myself is because of my dogs but i dont even have the energy to walk them which is making them really stressed out lately i feel completely like shit cause they are my main reason to be alive and i cant even take care of them properly problem is one of my dogs paw is really red and swollen between his fingers and he cant stop licking it i dont have any money to take him to the vet even if there was any place open cause of this fucking quarantineim so tired im failing at the only thing that has been keeping me alivei just want to ask my brother to take care of my dogs and then kill myself i cant do this anymore,3.0
45108,condolence kim t💜💜💜💜💜ng dont be too sad your grandmother and grandfather are together now in heaven armys are alw ,1.0
45109,im losing the fight im falling apart at the seams my body and soul are decaying i cant piece my mind back together and i just fucking hate myself all the fucking time now i dont know how to exist some days,3.0
45110,gumsminis thank you thank you very much i will meet you at the back door to slip you some  ,0.0
45111, cant pass a day without listening to music right ,0.0
45112,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
45113,i love it that they are intimidated hahaha ,0.0
45114,thinks twitter is awesome ,0.0
45115,kittenmeow awwww  hugs at least youve got monkey to look after you ,0.0
45116,kmbuck hahaha noo silly radiohead house of cards ,0.0
45117,quiltersspirit k  whenever    you should come to market  wed have a great time  maybe houston ,0.0
45118,just finished my cakeno more sugar roses for today ,0.0
45119, have  agreat day sherry  sun out here too mom still not too good though darn i was hoping for an improvement take care ,0.0
45120,teknetia yeah idunno im just so used to nambu and its mostly ok but when it fails it fails hard ,2.0
45121,need to vent i didnt think i had depression until i looked at the symptoms insomina cant fall asleep till  am at the earliest guilty feel like ive made a thousand mistakes worthlessness i feel like i would be better off dead loss of interest staring at a wall has become more interesting than my favourite activities apathy its impossible to express my emotions fully and when i do it feels so wrong im scared of myself im still young hell im not even  yet i feel as if i should take a gun a shoot myself in the head the worst thing is i cant release anything i cant cry no matter how bad im feeling i tought myself emotions are a weakness but now its tearing at my soul i just cant do this much longer everbody thinls im happy i know i should talk to somebody but god damit all when i shows my emotions my friends and family either think im exaggerating or they coddle me like a damn baby im sorry for my outbursts i just needed to vent also can you tell me how to cope with it and dont tell me to confide in someone cause as i said earlier they wont help me also depending on people not in my nature hell its hard for me to ask people on reddit for help hahaha,3.0
45122,at friends in fellspoint  i see a myspace friend here who ive never met haha i thought he was a figment of my imagination,0.0
45123,but what happen they all got dissapointed i wonder im tired so tired sick in the head syndromeagain hate this   ,2.0
45124,has a very busy week coming up if u havent sent in ur requestsbest hurry  wwwanythinggoescateringllccom,0.0
45125,  oh how i shall miss my favorite ramen spot in hawaii   yummo,2.0
45126,claytoncalhoon i know huh ,2.0
45127,i stopped counting at day  its been more than  days straight that ive been taking care of my mom she has dementia i think i might be handling it better if i had any kind of help but i dont her family has abandoned us even though some of them live in town and im stuck in this house constantly only to leave for groceries and dr appointments for her every day is exactly the same everything i do seems to go wrong i broke my ankle last week i cant stop taking care of her i gave up an amazing career path to do this and the more i realize how little my parents ever cared for me i wonder why im such an idiot to do this,3.0
45128,depressionanxietyobsessivecompulsive disorderit never gets better,0.0
45129,just heard call amp answer on the radio informed mom it was the last song bnl played during their last set ,2.0
45130,birthdays are just a reminder for me of how few people care about me my birthday is coming up in less than a week and every year i dread it its a day where i have to pretend to be happy all day its a day where i probably only get a text from one or two friends and realize how few people careanother thing i hate about birthdays is when my parents ask for gift ideas its super hard to come up with stuff when i have almost no motivation in any of my hobbiesthis whole quarantine stuff on top of it will just make it suck even more i wont even leave my own house on my birthday to go to an activity or get a nice dinner,3.0
45131,marxiey lol i realizedthe markets rally was crushed this week ,2.0
45132,rt gratitudedna บางสิ่งบางอย่างดูเหมือนเรื่องเล็กน้อยไม่มีค่าแต่บางทีเราไม่รู้ว่ามันสำคัญและมีประโยชน์แค่ไหน ป้ายเล็กๆเขียนด้วยมือแข,0.0
45133,mrgno do i get wads or isos or what i have no idea what im doing  and i have a whole stack of dvds,2.0
45134,try to stay alive preparations for a big wedding party ,0.0
45135,greyko already in my tummy im afraid ,2.0
45136,oh i hate you ms word you are a smelly vagina face  ,2.0
45137,lynseyxo thats fine il have a look for u omg thats awful am comin down to kill them haha thats such a shame  xxx,2.0
45138,carlaloo aww meeeeen i was gonna do that today can you just do it for me ,2.0
45139,chillaxing eyes on mnet watching little miss sunshinehola ,0.0
45140,the woman next to me on the bus has a beard and is smushing me into the seat ,2.0
45141, ohh thats great to hear and thanks ,0.0
45142,temporarily twitter from work until the library opens at  the homie stephanie went and for a donut run should i  haha,2.0
45143,eggology correct what gave it away  havent seen it yet but plan to soon,0.0
45144,keeperofdreams  hihaving trouble tonight with the kitty cat i see ,2.0
45145,is too sick to venture far from home back in jammies  one of those days ,2.0
45146, lol thanks my night at work was actually pretty good ,0.0
45147,crap i just nudged somebody on twitter and i have no idea what the means  hope at least the person i nudged is cute  ,0.0
45148,finally off today  misses him  only  more days,0.0
45149,im attracted to broken men the title pretty much says it allfirst off i  would like to say that im not looking for advice or anything like that this is just a statement a sharing of my thoughts i am a very private person so im rather nervous about publicly posting information about myself but due to the anonymity of the internet ive decided to share today i guess im kind of afraid how people will react as some people can be complete jerks please dont do that i promise you all that im not here to start an argumentmost people would not choose a broken depressed person as their companion as being considered brokendepressed is typically seen as a character flaw in society i live in the united states and its definitely a prominent aspect of society here even in the highly liberal new york state area and although im no worldly traveler i know that its the same way all across the globe its something that often makes the other person run in the opposite direction or become highly disappointed with their relationship this is understandable though as unfortunately some people are severely broken and can be immensely difficult to deal with they may be so broken that they cannot even support themselves they might not even be able to do basic grooming activities such as showering or brushing their hair and may have turned to drugs to ease their emotional pain and now are critically addicted and deteriorating even more they may be in a devoid zombified state so deeply dark that just going through the motions constantly for the rest of their life seems highly probable now those are some of the more extreme cases not every person who is depressed is broken to such a crippling extent as we are all individuals and have our own unique experiences many are very functional but on the inside are still absolutely utterly torn apart they may also be in a zombified state and just going through the motions just not to such a debilitating constant extent even if youre still highly functional in the world a lot of the time it just doesnt matter because even if you have a lot to give yourself and can be a supportive partner the majority of people you meet will most likely still eventually abandon you because they wont want to deal with all the negativity emotional work and trouble youre bringing to the table youre much more likely to attract someone abusive or someone who is a fixer when you are emotionally vulnerable and looking for solace finding a companion who loves you for you helps to support you in return sticks with you through thick and thin someone who doesnt look at you like a victim to manipulate like their own personal puppet or a project to be improved and fixed so that youll be good enough is like winning the mega millions jack pot  sure some people win the lottery right but only a lucky few nondepressed people with few life problems typically have much more success relationship wisei know its probably not the best thing but i cannot deny the fact that i am attracted to broken men its just a part of my personality and i accept that the loner who does everything by himself all of the time the one who doesnt really have any friends let alone really anyone to talk to hes probably someone others throw a suspicious glance at or just ignore all together because they get a vibe that something is a bit off about him while in reality hes just broken and emotionally tormented not some dangerous criminal he probably is actually a very kind compassionate person in need of love and understanding but nobody really gives a shit because hes damaged goods maybe he likes to hide in his hood listening to music trying to stay hidden and unseen from the world he has shut out but i see him because someone like that id be drawn to like a moth to a flame why well i guess deep down im just looking for a supportive companion who understands i honestly do hope i dont end up with someone too severely damaged though because a toxic relationship would destroy me i know its a possibility and i like everyone have my limits and try to protect myself from such situations,3.0
45150, just sad things in the fandom rn,2.0
45151,had nearly  visits to herebeforeaplusk since  this morning ,0.0
45152,my good golly it was hot today at the barn i rode without shoes ,0.0
45153,sitting  work wishin i wuz home with da boyzonly have kayson michael for  months and one of those iz almost gone  ,2.0
45154,foxnews i pity her she needs mental health help thats all,1.0
45155, i dont know ,2.0
45156,chrismillerjr about   are spammers and the rest just keep on shouting stupid stuff but still we use it  ,0.0
45157,i wish i could rewind today back i am terribly sorry dog i never meant to hit you ,2.0
45158,rt guccineverlose being in the white side of town give me more anxiety then being in the hood,1.0
45159,ddlovato of yours and go show the world the real and amazing you btw i cant wait till you come to portland oregon ,0.0
45160,ugh i woke up this morning with a migraine   took a bunch of drugs put bengay on went back to bed and just rewoke up,2.0
45161,awesome weekend ,0.0
45162,i just saw a bum shake a payphone till it spat out a bunch of quarters what a champ  wish id  thought of that ,0.0
45163,congrads emii on passing ur ogts thats super cool ,0.0
45164,im so depressed i dont know what to do anymore 😥 im a  year old transgender girl i started transitioning when i was  at this point i look just like any other girl but i had to go through a lot to get to the point where i am i was sexually abused and raped almost every night from the age of seven when my parents caught me spinning around in my cousins dress they wouldnt accept it i was always called a troll and made to go under the porch because thats where i belonged my parents made me out to be a monster when all i ever tried to get them to do was love me id go to hug them and theyd throw me into a wall my siblings they had gang up on me and to this day i havent been able to function as a normal adult i ran away on my eighteenth birthday and went to go live with my best friend in high schools family that was the closest to normal ive ever had they disowned me though when they discovered i had started transitioning and kicked me out i was homeless for a while and then moved into a room with what i thought was my best friend at that time he found a girlfriend and now all they do is talk about me and how bad of a person i am they want me out by this summer but im drowning in  thousand dollars of debt stemming from being sick the last couple years im going to be homeless again i have no family to care if im alive or dead my best friend currently shuts me down whenever i talk about my depression and whenever i talk about my suicidal thoughts she just ends the conversation and thats that if i say im in a dark spot and need a friend she stops that to all of my other friends are distant i dont know if i want to die its hard because when you tell people you want to die they dont understand they just think youre going to kill yourself and have you committed where you dont even get help anyways ive wanted to die for  years but ive yet to do it its like a feeling sometimes more than an action i have no money for food this week and with all my heart i wish i had parents i wish i had parents to love me and hold me when im just sitting here crying alone i wish i wasnt to old for an adoptive family to want me im to broken for most people to want me and thats why im spilling my heart out to everyone on here im alone and so depressed i just wish i had a mom and dad i wish my life hasnt been so screwed up i dont know what to do anymore im just so utterly sad ,3.0
45165,strabismus hi i have uploaded  completely new chinese lessons on wwwyoutubecomchineselearn please feel free to watch and enjoy ,0.0
45166,cant find my shoes  hope its as bad as itll get   im happy,0.0
45167,mileycyrus when you have your first day off come visit me in ftpierce florida  we can go to the beach ,0.0
45168,for those who dont want to hear me promote my causes find me at quotkoali quot    ill attempt fun and lite there  others stay tuned here ,0.0
45169,how do you find the right doctor for you i really need help or she really needs help one of my coworkers is depressed and she really hit her low yesterday at work i pulled her to the bathroom and just listened to what she had to say im not good at giving advice i feel like i always say the wrong thingit occurred to me that her doctor isnt  really doing his job every time she sees him he doesnt pay attention to what she says and just blurts out well lets just up your meds and see how that goes as if he doesnt have time to deal with her shes out the door in  minutesi want to help her i offered to help her find a new doctor and she said okay  but  l have no idea how to shop for a doctor i  dont even know where to start where do i start once she finds a potential good fit what kind of questions does she ask to know heshe is a good fit is this kind of like a trial and error kind of thing  im lost and  i we need help ,3.0
45170,unrequited love for  years is killing me good night ive been in love with a former high school classmate since ive known her for  years nowi never had the guts to tell her i was abused and bullied by other children unti hs which made me hard to trust other people after i school ive developed a tumour and my life was put on hold just like that for five years first thing i did when i woke after surgery was to contact herbut she doesnt love me back doesnt want to give me chanceits killing mei cant sleep eat properlyfeel miserable every moment i sleep less than  hours each morningits  am and i didnt get some shut eyeive  been to tons of psychiatrists and psychologists ive triedclonazepam aripiprazol escitalopram quetiapine trazodone bromazepam valproate sertraline and risperidone clomipramine  all since august i had to quit risperidone since it made me real aggressive currently on  mg sertraline but nothing ever helps i want to die i cant take this life anymore i never knew what it is to be happy wantedsometimes i think were just born to suffer ,3.0
45171,jacksvalentine stand your ground girl ,0.0
45172,new here looking for perspectives ive had anxiety and depression off and on for decades lately the depression has been kicking my ass hard when i awake up i feel like im walking in slow motion everything is dark and dismal but ive been going outside for exercise hiking for  hours and then i am great all day next morning is the same as the last so i definitely seem to respond well to exercise sunlight and fresh air im starting to wonder if this latest flareup was actually sad since getting outside in the warmth of the sun helps a loti have a scrip for lexapro and am on the fence about taking it it did help the last time about a year ago no side effects at all really has anyone here been in the same boat ive quit drinking alcohol for the most part because it greatly increases my symptomslooking forward to your responses,3.0
45173,rt jugheadfeels  things that make me sad💔• seen• ignored• late reply• no reply,2.0
45174,preferring death over becoming a moral slave an interesting moral quandry howdy folksthis is primarily addressed to practicing psychs of either variety but of course is open to all  and since its more academic im posting here rather than sw since from reading there a few minutes ago the responses to any issue seem to be quite canned and superficialim sure all of you have have had patients utter something akin to id rather be dead than suffer the indignities of working a job i dont find meaningful etc etc being a postdoc at a relatively well known university ive often had grad school friends express a familiar sentiment if they ever got kicked out of the program or couldnt find jobs after receiving their phdits interesting in that frankly i cant blame them yet obviously they should continue on and yet again if they truly cant do what they find meaningful i dont see a rational reason for them to continue as such just curious it all depends on the context and persons involved of course just wondering what perspective is generally taken by practitionersv,3.0
45175,driving home with the ladies i got leftovers for ben ,0.0
45176,rip anders jk hope you are better soon ,0.0
45177,danielgayhowell no its okay im better now i was just having high anxiety for awhile,0.0
45178,whatevzz ay do you amp jokerjax both work early tomorrow i have an appt in lb at  ,2.0
45179,today im going to go out with veronica maicol e chiara ,0.0
45180,is ready to go to sleepbut cant ,2.0
45181, lol its  hours from toronto its so wrong that we know this info ,0.0
45182,there is truly no light at the end of the tunnel im at a point where ive seen no light at the end of the tunnel for quite a while ive lightly thought about just ending it for some time as well tonight i feel it like never before still though there is a voice telling me thats stupid and of course i cant do that but im scared that voice will go away someday i dont know i dont know how it works i just want to feel okay again i looked at some old photos today and there was one where i realized that was the last time i truly felt good i dont remember being scared or sad or numb or even considering something stupid like this not sure what the point of this post is i just wish there was something i could do to feel good,3.0
45183,im depressed thats all i have to say this feeling is so horrible i like it i dont want to i almost killed myself on my birthday go ahead tell me to die ,3.0
45184,beer poker and good music gotta love saturday nights ,0.0
45185,got back from dance competion check it out  wwwelementsdancecompanypiczocom we did amazingly well ,0.0
45186,yes im being inconsistent quotshtquot and then quotshitquot sue me im working at  am and im all alone ,2.0
45187,kimberlayyann sure your not weird just obsessed ,0.0
45188,chrismclay what do you need to know i use the damn things many times per day ,0.0
45189,i was told i look like a doll alot today  always a good thing,0.0
45190,carlthecucks eidotheia not evolving or innovating wenvironmental changes leads to deaths by starvation drowning httpstcopmqojogyfh,2.0
45191, aff que saaco   byee ,2.0
45192, heading to bed now ,0.0
45193,the future i dont want to think about it all my friends are graduating and moving on and i have no idea what to do with my life even the things that i love and i know i have talent for i still feel like im not good enough to turn them into a career also everyone is annoying to me recently  not even what people do just the idea of them i have become so judgmental very recently and i dont like it anyway first time posting though ive been dealing w depression for about  years finally found a good meds regimen it have been neglecting counseling just looking for supportadvice i guess ,3.0
45194,re  last meal contest  should also add ultimatefoodie contributors are encouraged to respond  but cant win the card ,2.0
45195,rt loopzoop hello  hour depression nap do you remember mein monaco i made u that bracelet,2.0
45196, ive noticed i randomly cry when i think about my high school being attacked ill have these random thoughts about my high school being attacked by multiple shooters the sro of my school gets shot and somehow i grab one of his weapons and defend my school until police backup arrive by the time they arrive im shot in multiple places and im unable to movenext i imagine my funeral with thousands of people attending parents of students students etcits always the same thought i cry about why is this is this normal i dont think its depression,3.0
45197,chelsred ah bugger  fullservice,2.0
45198,bah rocked up to work ampamp found out i start    im an hour early,2.0
45199,goodnight  ps thanks for jailbreaking my ipod stacie ,0.0
45200,hmm chocolate cake xd gonna pig out tonight to make up for not pigging out last night because there was no food ,2.0
45201,asam senior women have highest suicide rate of any racial group but rarely seek mental health srvcs ,2.0
45202,subaru is trying to beat a world record for the largest parade of subaru cars� on july   at  am sadly its too far away ,2.0
45203,a good day im placid ,0.0
45204,rt riobojuanito cuando estoy sad no existe meme que me haga reír,2.0
45205,depression is    depression is    wanting to break up with your boyfriend because he deserves better he deserves a human with a functioning brain crying in the car crying in the shower or simply not crying at all figuring out ways to create your own death in where it wont give anyone you care about ptsd like would it be feasible to drive miles and miles and miles away to an unknown location where people would just think i went missing or had an unfortunate accident like hiking and falling to my death due to slipping on a rock because suicide is too much for people to cope with because she was beautiful and intelligent and this and that and some more superficial bullshit there is no way she would want to die no way in which she would be selfish enough to do something so terrible to all of her loved oneswhat if i said that i understand suicide and i understand depression how its incredibly not a selfish thing its selfless in its own warped and fucked up way by trying to get out of this unescapable cage thats called your brain in the end i wont ever do it due to the fact deep down i know i have purpose and i know that im here for some reason sometimes though this thing called a brain with thoughts tells you other things that make it a little bit harder to step forward,3.0
45206,jenchi ill do that just for youhope it pays off ,0.0
45207,thedebbyryan very happy birthday ,0.0
45208,advice i dont want a fucking diagnosis i want someone to give a shit about how im feelingsaying get help is not helpful if ive come to you asking for support i want support not some bullshit im gonna make you an appointment for a therapist crapi want my family to give a shit about how i feel maybe thats too much to ask but goddamn im tired of dealing with this shit,3.0
45209,rt akashbanerjee wont forget rohtak wont forget job creation jumla wont forget  farmer suicides a year wont forget how soldiers,2.0
45210,leighpaikin lol  its the same all over the globe  have a nice day just space out for about n hour or so ,0.0
45211,wifi not reaching back porch ,2.0
45212,im falling ive lived in the darkness for many years now ive been stuck inside my own head for countless nights ive had so many bad days that i can barelly remember the last couple yearsbut i got out for  months i felt joy  happines excitement all of it that changed a week ago and ive never felt this way before i usually kept it all to myself and lived like that for a few years suddenly i made this amazing friend that helped me so much and i helped her she said i kept on telling a selected few online about my feelings and problems but i started beliveing they didnt really wanna talk to me about it so i stopped eventually since the conversation dynamic got so odd for mewhat ive always done after comming home from school now job was to turn on my computer and play videogames its the best way to make time fly by so i forget to be in my own headbut today i didnt today i got some food shut the lights and went straight to my bedive always been able to stay away from that urge but now im so exausted and tired i dont know what to do i always had a second voice in my head to stop me from doing something really stupid but i can barelly hear it anymore and that scares mei dont know where else to put this i dont know what to do and i really would like to thank everyone on the internet to be so kind about things like this im so happy the internett has been like a family to me for all these years ive been on it thank youi just dont know how to snap out of it,3.0
45213,jpgoebel on our way to the beach with grads wont be there ,2.0
45214,what are some good songs that keep you depressed i dont really want to feel anything to help me cope with my depression i just want to be depressed right now any good songs for such an occasion ,3.0
45215,just got in touch with my old friend zac and hes taking me to a car meet friday wooo ,0.0
45216,soycheese i want to go see xmen ,2.0
45217,tianatopnotch im greattt  whatre you up too,0.0
45218,oh the joys of being a woman  my uterus feels like its gonna explode ,2.0
45219,i just scrubbed and cleaned about  cake pans now i just have to figure out how to store them ,0.0
45220,youve tried everything and nothing helps your depression maybe its time to check out tms therapy,2.0
45221,bollyarm i just tried out the mobile site on my pda i left a message at preeti jhangianis pic looks very nice ,0.0
45222,enithhernandez i saw i just dont understand ,2.0
45223,watching hgtvand a cute carpenter guy  woo hoo,0.0
45224,casi no lo sigo creyendo que era hetero pero ahora soy fan de su pack sad,2.0
45225,jordanknight do you love how ppl flood your page ,2.0
45226,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety desk toy edc metal ball  via ebay ,0.0
45227,hi yubin unni im from dallas and i heard you were eating at a restaurant near where i live i really wish i coudlve seen you ,2.0
45228,bummedboyfriends off to rome for three weeks without me ,2.0
45229,pink floyd updated for the internet age quotsign on you crazy diamondquot ,0.0
45230,life would be best if bryan was naked by my side eating summer sandwiches and drinking crystal lite  ,0.0
45231,mrgarbutt tweet  ,0.0
45232,swatkatt when r u sending me d courier i really need it i seriously do ,0.0
45233,froogle its great   days of london  and a bit hours up nearly  hours home again ,2.0
45234,pdurham ooo  i like that idea if i come get ya will you make me cocktails ,0.0
45235,yaboylyricz hey u long time ,0.0
45236,arluvira  agreed were hoping it doesnt get worse though  iranelection ,2.0
45237,sedmos for liesgirlstell  i was going to say quotim on the pillquot but you beat me to it by like  minutes ,0.0
45238,slowracer  lol well you hardly do as it is   for me its either coh or wow haha  might do both ,0.0
45239,rt jawrecka i would do anything to not have anxiety for one day,2.0
45240,i finally talked about it ive been having suicidal thoughts since almost  years ago recently my mother asked me why ive been acting super lazy those past months it was hard and frightening to tell her that i was having such thoughts but she took it very seriously and said that i needed to see a therapist i said why not since nothing else can seem to help im going to see the doctor thursday do any of you have advice for going in therapy,3.0
45241,why on days i need to sleep i cant and on days where i have nothing going on ill sleep for  been lying here for almost  ,2.0
45242,crazyphoneguy warrenties save lifes ,0.0
45243,goodnight module thanks for accompanying me today  goodnight twitterworld ,0.0
45244,so sad so sad what love will make you do,1.0
45245,elenabrowne eee thats weird ahah yep you will ill probably be on urbis but i have a mountain of cvs to hand out  xxx,2.0
45246,jonessamonique ive been well grinding hope all is good with u i want to hear ur music ,0.0
45247,finished the office in just over a month and now im sad,1.0
45248,meh i feel really bad today cinebo persiarose im sorry ,2.0
45249,rt jinuwued someone asked me today why you sad and i blatantly replied with i dont know nan molla namjoons impact,2.0
45250,lloydonyango railaodinga quite sad state of affairs the peoples will is always suppressed by the system we hope ,1.0
45251,tommcfly i thought i got a respond and my heart droped a lot and i got excited but then i realized it wasnt me  sdhnashdnas ha,2.0
45252,  a rosari hah amp now the beadmaker doesnt ever want to come play anymore ,2.0
45253,janilynn its so sad i know that theres probably so much more in edmonton but i neeeeeeeeeed to buy something  lmao,2.0
45254,just sitting here watching my babies life can be amazing afterall ,0.0
45255,im so sad i want to hug him,0.0
45256,johnlloydtaylor you were amazing john haha when i saw you i was freaking out ,0.0
45257,mollyjenson hotelcafe doesnt work  btw been listening to you today ,2.0
45258,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
45259,purelynarcotic ah i always had trouble with people living below klipsch makes some kick ass subwoofers had to leave them behind ,2.0
45260,me n my brother jus rebeat halo  in less than a day hahaha broguth back memoriess ,0.0
45261,omfg goodnight i cant take this anxiety his name if trending,2.0
45262,paulcounts youre welcome thank you for the fabulous content ,0.0
45263,this morning despite all efforts was no different from the past two weeks im going back to bedd ,0.0
45264,misocutesoup my friend is holding this fund raiser screening on the  at palace nova you should go ,0.0
45265,good morning world ,0.0
45266,rt alyciatyre i feel so much better after letting go of toxic situations in my life i dont have to deal with them so i wont theres,1.0
45267,i dont understand how i can go a whole  or so years without allergic reactions and then bam no more scented antiperspirants ,2.0
45268,going to bed its been an awful day ,2.0
45269,it was a fun dance  haha me and andrea all looking at the guy getting arrested hahah ,0.0
45270,samjmoody whats ute  night xx,2.0
45271,ive been silently following tomfelton for a while now he has the sweetest tweets ,0.0
45272,i am surrounded by my closest friends but i feel so alone theyre so effortlessly happy i am happy for them i dont think i can continue ,3.0
45273,i was happy when i found out i had depression i recently had a psychological evaluation amp was told that basically i have depression and i honestly felt relieved and almost happy maybe thats fucked up but ive suspected having it for a very very long time while everyone around me told me i had a great life and shouldnt be so sadshould be more optimisticshould stop being dramatic if i happened to be speaking to a very close friend they would maybe tell me to see a therapist or try to help me somehow but most people including my family disregarded what i said or did and when i finally heard it being validated i swear i felt so much better again its probably fucked up i should continue seeing a therapist but i woke up really depressed today and i stopped seeing hope for myself again i dont even know where im going with this i have an exam in a few days and i cant bring myself to even get out of my bed which is pretty bad considering getting good grades in college was one of the only things remaining that i felt was worth it ill probably force myself to get over it soon but i just needed to get it off my chest i dont know what to do its not like im gonna kill myself i just dont have the guts and dont want to hurt the people i know care about me but im just so sad and apathetic towards life right now its funny really bc i stopped feeling so bad for a while and when the psychologist who diagnosed me told me that i had depression i almost couldnt believe her and i told her so that i dont feel as sad anymore she said thats a thing about depression we can bounce back from it it can oscilate from severe to less severe but without help eventually you end up in the same place i also cant help thinking that im exaggerating it and that im probably okay i have so much shit going on in my head and i just wish everything would stop for at least a few seconds just a few seconds of nothing,3.0
45274,rt therickwilson this todd kincannon story is amazzzzing and horrifying also he needs to spend a long time closely supervised in an,2.0
45275,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
45276, i used mootools but now i use jquery jquery documenation is better than mootools ,0.0
45277,oh well i was expecting it  but a small part of me was still hoping  oh rafa what will wimbledon be without you   ,2.0
45278,im leaving noonish ,2.0
45279,last day in chicago tomorrow then to marthas vineyard for the summer  i think i brought sf weather to chicago ,2.0
45280,leanandcuisine me at all of you when wine night gets sad margotgirlcrazy dammnnielle  michellesora,2.0
45281,i cant find my krabby patty  flash drive,2.0
45282,zoesaldana i hope your chat went well you are an amazingly talented and inspiring actress and i cant wait to see more of your work ,0.0
45283,did some cleaning dishes and laundry  and now its almost time for tigers and red wings oh my big day for the quotdquot ,0.0
45284,i miss hums going to the alumni thing really made me wanna go back to school  i want my masters,2.0
45285,gaming and talk i was thinking of starting a gaming and talk community made mostly for kids and teenagers where one hour every second or third day a kid depressed or just someone that needs someone to talk to would talk to a volunteer about how they are doing the video game would make the talk easier and especially in this  time it could help a lot   what do you think any concerns,3.0
45286,my menchikatsu turned out really well considering it was my first time making japanese food ,0.0
45287,im not sure my friend just opened up to me with depression and autism im not sure what to say to him and he has suicidal thoughts i dont have a very high selfesteem myself and i just dont know someone please help me,3.0
45288,filmwriteak lmao u r hysterical  so no sammies then  ps i can not believe you ate paying vladamir to set up a treadmil lol,2.0
45289,rt  i can feel my anxiety crawling back just by looking at this ,0.0
45290,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
45291,keep poking myself in the eye with eyeliner pencil ill be blind before tonight ,2.0
45292,keithfollett i will too bad the vacation money is gone and i cant go see you ,2.0
45293,my sil is married  it was a beautiful wedding mass and reception  god bless the two of you ,0.0
45294,i just want to be wanted i just want to be wanted is that so hard to ask i put in so much effort fell in love was so vulnerable and authentic and i still got left in the dust i was the one chasing him and he finally accepted i kept the relationship alive and i tried my all and in the end he admitted his true feelings to me he was the one that said i love you first he was the one that brought up having kids and living together i saw his family and his extended family and once it was his turn to resprocate the love i was left in the dust i was the one the fell in love and i was the one that ended it i asked one simple question do you want me and he couldnt answer the lonliness hurts i have no one to talk to and no one that loves me im trapped in a dark room alone chosen last for everything i just want to be wanted by someone but no one can love a pathetic me ,3.0
45295,retrorewind thx dave  love this song and its just the motivation i needed to get my butt in gear ,0.0
45296,weightolose thank u ,0.0
45297,mike from green day has a very nice singing voice  i like it,0.0
45298,school makes me want to kill myself just found out that i failed a class because i couldnt keep up with the work when my parents find out theyre gonna kill me i just want to stop going to bullshit college but no i have to go because thats literally the only option for my career choice and its not like the class i failed was even relevant to that  i fucking hate writing and i chose a career path that doesnt involve writing but what does the school do force me to take writing classes because fuck anyone who isnt the perfect student who loves writing and all that liberal arts bullshitand i wouldnt even be mad about failing that class if my parents werent standing over my shoulders critiquing everything i do they even said theyd leave me be when i went to college but we all knew that was fucking bull shit they cant resist making me feel like a piece of shit every time i dont get a perfect grade they feel the need to control every aspect of my life and make sure if i dont do exactly what they want how they want theyll make me feel like a piece of shit im just so fucking done with this bullshit,3.0
45299,feeling sorry for kevin  im crying right now,2.0
45300,rt coryrichardson im so sad alexa play my shiny teeth and me by chip skylark,1.0
45301,ladytwitster yeah im pretty good apart from coming in for the wrong shift  hope all is well with you,2.0
45302,anxiety hitting me porque sigo en la facultad y a las  ya es el ,2.0
45303,hurrraaaay horst fucks ,0.0
45304,yourimpact thats awesome ,0.0
45305,willpr hhahahaa add me to ur sim  world please  lil asian girl friend from arnold,0.0
45306,says im back plurking again  httpplurkcompwhert,0.0
45307,roselel lol i just saw that at  it was good ,0.0
45308,blueandwonder thats funny  saladmmmmm gets me about  hits lots of wacky saladmmmmm lovers out there,0.0
45309,woot  off was out ampamp about again  been reading quotmeampmr darcyquot by alexandra potter wootwoot ,0.0
45310,just came back from the city ,0.0
45311,wahoooooooooo in a good mood but i cba to get ready urgh college  xox,2.0
45312,arrgh no more guitar for a few days cut my little finger while attempting to slide it along the entire length of the neck ,2.0
45313,cant relate bc i actually am mean ,2.0
45314,i just feel like shit all the time ive been to multiple therapists and nothing has worked admittedly i go very semiregularly because my parents rarely have any time to properly contact therapists enough so i could go weekly or anythingits super hard to stay focused and work because all i can think about is how much i hate myself,3.0
45315,my mom wont let me take a jacket ,2.0
45316,just droppped my sister of at the train station shes going back to uni i cant wait to be a student ,0.0
45317,nothing feels right anymore all i can think about is how happy i was i miss her not the current her but the past her and theres nothing i can do about it ill be happy again at some point but right now makes me want to kill myself most of the time,3.0
45318,rt  i wish every single person could see this can we raise awareness for anxiety and mental health please 🙏🏻💜 ,0.0
45319,someone wake me up from this nightmare ,2.0
45320,kung maka react sad ka sobra ra kaayo,2.0
45321,iancrawford i miss you already ,2.0
45322,joyarogers i remember the same thing about you lol just being so silly tonight sorry ,2.0
45323,americas  hasnt controlled this much wealth since before the great depression httpstcoczgnngrjqv mimmer politics,1.0
45324, sign up the guys that pass the spelling and grammar test ,0.0
45325,my thoughts go out to all those affected by air frances flight it sounds like a hollywood film but its real life ,2.0
45326,watching the bucket list such a good movie ,0.0
45327,looking forward to walking to school this morning refreshing ,0.0
45328,please would you do something that makes you happy thats what my mother just asked me next to id like to see you smile againnow heres the problem i dont know what makes me happy anymoremy time runs on repeat working gaming watching movies playing the guitar and while most of it is cool  none of those make me really happy its just my routinehow do i find my happiness again ,3.0
45329,i want to go to the gymmmmm but nobodyyyyy wants to go with me hmmph ,2.0
45330,thakkerharsh ohh yeah anytime arr ka jawaab nahi ,0.0
45331,hey taylor do you know of anywhere i can see the dateline nbc thing from last night i missed it ,2.0
45332,hungry amp tired bad combo oh but i did have fun this weekend coloringhighlighting a friends hair ,0.0
45333,no more lounging around on mondays ,2.0
45334,i wanna be vegeterian again ,2.0
45335,the httpwwwcockyboxcom is older by a year cheers ,0.0
45336,andrewgoldstein   haha now you should get one of those beer boots ,0.0
45337,deeluvv i took a peek recentlybut like i said no more money  unless i plan on stealing clothes just looking will make me sad ,2.0
45338, a singer jazz the latest album is called  she sings soooooooo well search on youtube n find out ,0.0
45339,seanyfbaby he was supposed to be here by  idk what happened ,2.0
45340,today has been a good day but the night has been so terrible today was going well i finally caught up on college work but it stressed me out i started smoking again i was happy and thrilled today but i went to work and i was on the department on my own the dream job i was going for was given to my best friend i didnt know what to say i couldnt say oh that shouldve been me it sucks i blacked out and found some fresh wounds on my wrist it sucks a lot that i can do that i know im not the only one whos done it i guess i just wanted to tell someone because i cant tell anyone im friends with because i dont know how they will react thank you for listening to me im just greatful i can tell someone ,3.0
45341,wishes she was in dallas right now ,2.0
45342,rt fuzzywuzzyto  guns is peak america fire at will you sad pathetic hillarious country,1.0
45343,i got a ton of homework ,2.0
45344, yes that was a cute custom lolz god i miss that boy ,2.0
45345,meghanleighhall i want you to see demi with me  if we dont go oh welland yea dont tell him about jb at midnight haha,2.0
45346, its horrrrrible haha im waiting in a store door  boo to rain i heard its raining on long island too,2.0
45347,mckjerral fuck do i wanna see that but natbat wouldnt ever go to that and afaik all my mates have already been ,2.0
45348,rt fckarmeries why you                 i dont knowsad                        nan molla ,2.0
45349,hike was fun  kids woke up early from afternoon nap   back outdoors again ,2.0
45350,i dont understand certain people    seriously someone send me food and water amp,2.0
45351,enjoyed playing pool i wish i could play as often as i did back at school alas i dont have free access to pool  anymore ,2.0
45352,is anyone else constantly depressed about money ive made an annual  dollars for the past four years until i quit my job i dont really regret it because it was shitty retail slavery but holy shit i just want to be rich i dont have a car i can maybe barely finance one but its just so exhausting im gonna be stuck in retail hell until i kill myself ,3.0
45353,johnnydonovan watch my man  make sure he calls me   miss u,2.0
45354,isss boredddd gotta be up in the morningg ,2.0
45355,eulaivi i have a favor to ask ,2.0
45356,yamrab thank you and you know i will ,0.0
45357,franklero everybody is a negative prick just no one will call themselves a negative prick ,0.0
45358,down again ive had trouble with depression since my best friend killed himself a couple years back and ill have weeks where i just cant do anything i cant get up i think ive had a tough time really finding a purpose or something to motivate me to really make me wanna live working and going to school keeps me busy but at the end of the day i cant shake that hollow feeling in my chest i had been dating this girl for a couple months and things were really good for a while but recently things flipped when she started acting differently and it quickly made me paranoid and unhappy i then found out that she was bipolar and she thought she would be okay in a relationship but i guess she wasnt really ready it scared her that in her lows i was the only thing that made her happy and she thought it isnt fair to put that pressure on me she wants to find happiness in herself before she can give it to me which i cant really be mad about but it just made me realize how unhappy i was before her and in a way i relied on her for my happiness as well so now i guess im back in the same place again idk if this even belongs here but just typing my thoughts out helps me think a little more,3.0
45359,brodasaur hahah your a dork i wish colin was close by but he just left my house ,2.0
45360,at the airport coming back to va ,2.0
45361,xjamiex thts really sweet  thanks jamie,0.0
45362,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
45363,is in pain  the agony the horror,2.0
45364,i got flu again ,2.0
45365,im kinda worried that fans are starting to fall in love with okadas current antics and are looking past the under ,1.0
45366,heatherdune well done heather good luck with the novel amp i hope you get lots more kindle sales ,0.0
45367,just had my snack ,0.0
45368,fueledbytaylor wtf did i relly just type in glick lmfao i meant gluck ,0.0
45369,i need support for my dream   acting,2.0
45370,my friday night is so bland and zombieless without alexggordon ,2.0
45371,djbeazy  nooooooooo  do not wish that upon my king ,2.0
45372,drefrem good luck ,0.0
45373,accounting exam tomorrow ,2.0
45374,early bird gets the worm ,0.0
45375,farmboynb  hsm but way edgier ,0.0
45376,duckiekate i cant stop calling you that  ,0.0
45377,tired i need some rest ,2.0
45378,advice i have been depressed and anxious for a long period of time and it has greatly affected my life as i was unable to work without debilitating panic attacks i have been seeing a psychiatrist but there arent many options in my town most days i want to get out of bed and be productive but soon after doing something i become apathetic and climb into bed to sleep the day away i used to love reading and painting but i feel like doing those things is unproductive but it would be a lot better than going to bedrationally i know what i need to do to get better it is like i know what i want to say but cannot put it into words i know what i want to do but i am floundering what are some ways you have stayed motivated and felt better,3.0
45379,about to dye my hair what a friday night haha sucks i cant go out cuz i got school tmr morning ,2.0
45380,jacksr im try and remember shell love going to see grease  xx,0.0
45381,im going to see a therapist finally after  years im going to see a therapist im crying right now i dont know because of happiness pf because im scaredthis is it the beginning of the end,3.0
45382,man i am really tired should head to bed really soon  it almost  ,2.0
45383,getting ready to go give blood and feelin really good about it ,0.0
45384,kenia hadnt seen her  son angel since theyd been separated at the border six weeks ago after coming ,0.0
45385,today i realized why people end their life in depression im tired of not being able to feel anything i tried everything to keep myself positive but nothing helped im tired of this and first time in life i realized why people commit suicide in depression i guess to put and end to this,3.0
45386, qué sad ☹️,2.0
45387,just got home from chillin w izzy   hour nap and then work yay for a  day work week ,2.0
45388,defuzzing wcoffee went to bed at   permagrinning fool this mornin love my hubby  i am sooooo spoiled,0.0
45389,rt depressionnote warning signs of depression ⚠️⚠️ low selfesteem⚠️ guilt⚠️ feeling hopeless⚠️ tiredness⚠️ loss of interest in thi,2.0
45390,he owned the heart of paradise 💖 httpstcovubvuzwjqz,0.0
45391,rt prncessschelsea idk why i dont talk about it but my anxiety has been through the roof,1.0
45392,continuing my neverending project of painting  i love fridays ,0.0
45393,rt harianahoe ok whores heres ur chance to be added to kissy suicide™️ be a crackhead dont be problematic unless it funny try and,1.0
45394,i really need to clean my showerhead ,2.0
45395,rayisonfire they are alive yet haha kidding  oh no dont do this i lov u d,2.0
45396,untwitter the quottrashbinquot solution doesnt work the tweet is in the indexes and propagated even if it disappears from my personal list ,2.0
45397,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
45398,perezhilton congrulation  i love your page,0.0
45399,solzah oh it has nothing to do with how long the tweets are though that is bothersome its another type of limit but thanks anyway ,0.0
45400,my paranoia and depression may be ruining my relationship i cant stand it  ive been with this man  the absolute love of my life for over  years now we live together and are basically perfect now  he does know about all of my paranoia and depression how many thoughts i have going on at once and how many of those are all angry and sad and paranoidbutlike all couples we fight in  years its been like  whole fights wow right  weve had a handful of unhappy or quiet days but still and he has messed up by getting stupid dating apps well into this relationshipbut since i just cant let it gomy mind screams about how hes lying when he says he loves me and how im horrible and selfish and unworthy of him my mind screams till im so scared if i touch his phone ill see something i dont wanna see till i wanna look at his phone to make sure  i feel like doing it every other day anymore  and i need to stop because i wont find anything at all we are perfectly fine  we communicated and talked all of our worries out the other day and we are much closer now but idk  it just wont stopanyone have any advice thanks for reading ,3.0
45401,what to have wgrilled chicken thinking squash carrots amp new potatoes wcream sauce   what i really want is a chef ,0.0
45402,the decoraters have gone d  i can now enjoy a nice peacful evening    revising ,2.0
45403,night at the museum tonite instead of up  oh well that  yr old better enjoy it lol,2.0
45404,your first psychology session how did it go   i have my first appointment with a registered psychologist tomorrow costing close to  i found him in the phone book and have read a few positive reviews ive seen a social worker and counsellor which were covered by my provincial health insurance plan but they felt more like a friend to talk to which didnt help ive also paid out of pocket to see a psychotherapist twice which was only half the price of a psychologist but his advice was only breathing and tapping techniques which felt useless to me plus we didnt connect together and im embarrassed that i opened up to him ive never been motivated enough to write down my feelings in a journal like most counsellors recommend  ive never been formally diagnosed with anything as i dont know where to get that but im quite certain for the majority of my life i suffered from depression anxiety and am quite possibly bipolar my family doctor put me on sertraline and abilify which worked but the weight gain and muscle spasms were too much to handle i got off all pills and am back to square one being unemployed anxietyridden and severely depressedwhat have your experiences been seeking therapy did seeing a psychologist help what was your first session like what should i ask for,3.0
45405,poczytam sobie o anxiety attacks może się dowiem czegoś ciekawego hehe ha ho,2.0
45406,biffyhouse hehehee  youll have to tell me how good  is so i can debate if im wasting the money to see it,0.0
45407,southland ,0.0
45408,cortney graduated woo but the confetti gun didnt work ,2.0
45409,packing for singapore is so tiring haha cant wait to reach thailand too ,0.0
45410,thinks facebook is fabulous cos even when ur a long way from home ppl can c what ur doin show that they care amp chat in realtime ,0.0
45411,rashidian come hang out wif meeee ,2.0
45412,harleydude i hear more and more people calling twitter tweeter  i already have my answer to those people scripted ,0.0
45413,the way to get through worry is to makepeace w the worstcasescenario httpstcoevkupcecba momleaders parenting anxiety peace tao,1.0
45414,not to worry noone got that one next question starts in  minute get your thinking caps on ,0.0
45415,ihatelittledogs ,2.0
45416,wants to get it fix right away  ,2.0
45417,henryjuan thanks man  we will roll out tw localisation for iphone shortly,0.0
45418,wishing i was with my gator  ,2.0
45419,just back frm gruelling training sessionfor  hrs so tired  ,2.0
45420,quotdangelo – spanish jointquotthx  vicrowjanerbbohemianchick ♫ ,0.0
45421,rt hamdamaged cemctery no no bulletsrevenge stans smell like sweat and depression mixed with old coffee and angst,1.0
45422, i got u but my week is starting off horribly ,2.0
45423,hey jb i just saw you and nicks voice was my q  haha im so lame,0.0
45424,gonna tell my sister about my suffering tomorrow wish me luck guys gonna be my first person i will confess my feelings face to face im scared as fuck im scared i will not make myself clear on how fucked up i truly am im scared she will try to make it seem like nothing or that she will not help me i dont know what will i do if that happens thanks for my online angel who is helping me every day and encouraged me to tell my sister,3.0
45425,i just want to cry i feel i need to cry and vent but i am afraid of feeding my sadness by doing soi usually cry a lot and in my experience i dont end up being happier relieve at first but not happieri feel like i am in an endless loop so recently i started with meditation hope it helps,3.0
45426,annadestefano i will look forward to reading your bit of mafia  going to have to clear out a whole shelf here just for you ,0.0
45427,lovesickass i got your glass gonna go to the store and get skittles tomorrow and mail it as soon as i get a chance this week ,0.0
45428,xxfishdrummerxx hahabest song ever  but the version from pink is waaay better ,0.0
45429,goodmorning world   i love you,0.0
45430,existing between life and death idk now im sorry its just so hard im just so tired of suffering physically and mentally idk what to do anymore i feel dead and alive at the same time i just had to let it out somewhere and somehow i found this reddit tag and it made me realized that im not alone yet still alone,3.0
45431,restless mexico tomorrow gonna miss my boyfriend for this long three weeks ,2.0
45432,gervaist will you pretty please bring me some bottles of mountain white when you come out to ca i wont be able to pick any up this time ,2.0
45433,iamstevebell how ,2.0
45434,mine isnt the case httpstconspfqojmfc,1.0
45435,ayemdee why limit your story to  ch tell all what is annoying you at wwwiamsoannoyedcom it will help relieve your stress ,0.0
45436,last monday of school ,0.0
45437,adivinen quien se puso re sad,2.0
45438,ive lost my voice  ,2.0
45439,tak faham joke ni,0.0
45440,found a  bill while exploring my room ,0.0
45441,watching my free on demand  styll cry pleased with my classes for school in sept ,0.0
45442,stop being so sensitive a lot of people here arent even properly diagnosed with depression or whatever mental illness they claim they have 😂its just you being overly sensitive and craving the feeling of being a victim lol 😂 😂 😂next time you feel sad because you want to feel cool 😎 think about the starving people who cant even afford food 🍗 🥪 🥤so get up 👆 off your ass and stop 🛑 being overly sensitive 😢 its not the end of the world 🌐 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂,3.0
45443,im afraid my parents are on the verge of divorce ,2.0
45444,i was driving home from school and almost decided to just pass my exit i was driving home and this has happened a few times where i think about just driving past my exit and keep driving i wouldnt know where i would be going but to just drive im not someone to cry usually but when i finally decided to get onto the exit lane i started crying i really dont get it,3.0
45445,rt serendipityunki im leaving this here in case youre sad ,2.0
45446,nkotb i missed the sculpture ,2.0
45447,yeah its friday o wait i still have to work  owell maybe an iphone is in my future squarespace ,2.0
45448,proburn  awesome i totally agree you dont need the remixes to do that either looking forward already to any new material ,0.0
45449,bxsexychiq i knowwwwwwwwwww  when we both had long hair lol,2.0
45450,getting up to  followers is taking forever  phewff  some mighty cool peeps on here ,0.0
45451,officialdhough   very nice except sam looks like the salesman ,0.0
45452,dawnhallybone im sure its not but from where i am looking the grass is very much greener down the hill ,0.0
45453,monomatic ouch ,2.0
45454,i had a really good day today i had a really good day yesterday too probably one of the best days of my lifeso why do i feel so depressed right now,3.0
45455,just banged my back on my door handle  ouchy going to gs now blog later,2.0
45456,marthas night martha ,0.0
45457,i like how we believe and know many depression and mood swing issues are spiritual battles we cant be cloud httpstcowiyqlfopao,1.0
45458,on the road ,0.0
45459,i just shaved off my wolverines ,2.0
45460,just a little bit a few weeks thats all it took a few weeks where everything was great for once in years then it went away stuff happened and now its gone i didnt know having this feeling again could be so much worse then before i havent really slept in days and thats all i want to do ,3.0
45461,saturday night im drowning my feelings in liquor and im only  im predisposed to alcoholism and i finally know why my whole family suffers from this ive worked so hard to get a  gpa only to be denied from a pre college course all of my friends made it and have lower gpas  everything i work for is now disappearing and i have nothing to distract me from my thoughts tonight has not been good my friends know i am not going well and i feel so bad for them i worry them a lot after a year clean of cutting i did it again last month and the only thing keeping me from doing it tonight is my dogs i am young and i know i have so much to look forward to but today i just want to disappear reading back this seems like a pity party but i just needed to express how i feel i hope you all are doing well if you need to talk i am here i hope you have a good night ,3.0
45462,researchgoddess  i wish i could go with you   good luck keep me in mind for any other events,2.0
45463,pop pills behind the wheel my life i was fighting thank god im alive man i was only  tried to go to church but th httpstcomhuvazgzrp,0.0
45464,texting its my last day to use my cell phone  hahaha,2.0
45465,just wrote a really long comment been awhile since ive done that  httpbitlydhiim,0.0
45466, im from south america but my spanish is lame i can sing in spanish  and even read some texts but i cant speak it right ,2.0
45467,its okay to be sad and even cry and even cry hard stay strong baby tiger 💜why do i want to join him in tears ,1.0
45468,alwaysv im not sure if im just more tired these days or if the kc show cant wake me up like it used to ,2.0
45469,sarahsea jonic nothing that i play on my ipod gets scrobbled anymore ,2.0
45470,rt kustomz rodcub janetrice greens lanesainty ,1.0
45471,someone help me out here plzneed some advice sorry for the long post buti believe you can help mei am currently in college and i think you all have witnessed this i have a small friend circle and there is this one friend of mine who is kind of a genius and a prodigy but  a jerk toohe is good at socializing he flatters people every day from the day he meets them takes their side even if his own friends are getting mocked down by them he did same with me now hes got new friends although we are good friends even  nowwe go to college together come back together and eat lunch in the canteen togetherbut unlike my other friends who do these same things  gng to clg and coming back  he now makes fun of uscoz he scores good marks and see us as a person to be pitted uponhe also tries to impress girls by being a jerk to other boys and making fun of them he has also tried to separate me and my other friends from wach other and is successful in one caseone of my best friend doesnt talk to me coz of himhe taunts everydayi just want to get rid of himbut he is one of my best friendshe is definitely a fake friend but i want others to be beware of himi am kind of depressed rnhe is destroying mei believe he is in my headso what should i do ,3.0
45472,hottvampchick i wouldnt been able to sleep ,0.0
45473,therealsavannah im a pretty big savannah fan  great voicegirlplease watch my web show  youtubecomusergermanmiley ,0.0
45474,cdncowgirl shes my world she wears her red shirt every friday too ,0.0
45475,what are you having for dinner katie perrier and depression,2.0
45476,chillin ,0.0
45477,shainaw good haha i was getting worried ,2.0
45478, andriodtomato u  are very good looking ,0.0
45479,am i depressed i cant feel the enjoyment in anything i feel like everyday is the same i feel like nothing ,3.0
45480, i get really bad anxiety attacks about what others think of me i also panic that i seem overly clingyannoying to my loved ones a lot,2.0
45481,rt chikambnu every time i start to get sad about going back to college someone in this house reminds me of why i cant wait to go 💀,1.0
45482,butterose no no nodust off those and get yer dabber n get at er ,0.0
45483,just ending the party ,0.0
45484,garrettmccord you can send the cookbook to me ,0.0
45485,ryanxzavier u know i think im superwoman stay up all nite then do  shows the next day donnyroc aint havin it lol ,2.0
45486,winter is def here aint itthat sucks ,2.0
45487,no dreams im  year old who just got into the college who was pressured by his parents and im currently studying language that i dont even want to listen and ive already given up on it but my parents wont give up yet ever since high school ive lost all my aspirations dreams and ambition i dont wanna be a translator or profesor or anything really just want some job that will give me enough money to pass day by day since i dont care about anything else except laying in my bed ive failed for now  out of  exams and probably will fail all the others too  the worst thing about all of this instead of getting motivation to study im yet again in my bed writting a pointless post for  people to see only good thing that came from  is that i met girl of my dreams but when im feeling bad she just backs away from me cause she doesnt want her mood ruined and thats understandable i love her today i thought multipe times of getting hit by a car or even taking missteps so i fall and break my leg or anything just so i dont have to go to uni anymore everything in my life is ruined cause of my laziness and when i finally feel like everythings okay i just get my feet swept out from under me and its all cause im lazy bastardtldr i fucked up hard kids study on time and most improtantly choose wisely what you will do with the rest of your lifesorry for the long post i just need to vent somewhere,3.0
45488,good morning sunshines ,0.0
45489,ebay at it again  ,2.0
45490,basundra i wish i was down to gobut i love money more than the beach thus meaning i cant miss hours ,2.0
45491,nkotb show tonite wish i was going ,2.0
45492,jesus the goosebumps everything just hit me the nerves the anxiety everything omgg ,1.0
45493,erdufylla thats why i make mine from scratch ,2.0
45494, frames rendered  to go fuck me its like watching paint dry ,2.0
45495,lizalee well the mocha is decaf so the caffeine amount is negligiblecertainly not enough to keep me awake ,0.0
45496,im waiting for a savior that doesnt exist i had this epiphany that when i hit the emotional wall im at now its the feeling of being stuck on a craving that cant be satiated im looking for somethinga person who i could tell my problems to a career change that would give me meaning something that could just fix all of it and give me some peace and its not real and if it was real it wouldnt be instantaneous it would take days months years of work to find hundreds more lonely nights drowning myself in the voices of podcasts and netflix to not have to hear the emptiness of my apartment and whats more terrifying is looking at the prospects of my life and confronting the realism that this savior will probably never exist theres not going to be some magic person or opportunity that materializes from thin air bursting into my life routine  this could easily be all there is forever,3.0
45497,blasianblknazn yeah the  is coming out in oct if you do a good google search youll find some pics of it ,0.0
45498,charlotteweeks wish we could be there  glad its going well ,0.0
45499,rt neverknownfacts not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
45500,rt freakingtrue when you are trying to fight paranoia depression dissociation while attempting to balance meaningful relationships http,2.0
45501,zzmorriss oh well i guess that makes you a super mega spunk ,0.0
45502,i cant get any bandaids to stick to the palm of my hand ,2.0
45503,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
45504,roboreese hulu no work in canada ,2.0
45505,being alone has anybody else here adapted to being alone so much that you crave the feeling of not having to talk to anyone,3.0
45506,why doesnt anyone call them black cows anymore ,2.0
45507,is catching up on hollyoaks ,0.0
45508,rt foxfooty juliagillard opens up to  about the mighty westernbulldogs politics and mental health dont miss it tonig,1.0
45509,i have nothinggg to wear  i need clothes well actually i need a job to buy those clothes ,2.0
45510,jfavreau nope  still have a ways to go  washing is just about done but now the drying begins ,0.0
45511,rt theveganqueen i guarantee you were getting more than enough d ,0.0
45512,cameronolivier let us know when youre ok aight ,0.0
45513,voting for the mtv movie awards cant wait ,0.0
45514,grooveystorecom get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
45515,quotadventures in babysittingquot with my big buddar ♥one of the greatest movies ever from the  ,0.0
45516,awesomeo the dvd sets of entourage and  on bluray arrived today got delivered  my neighbours now finding time to watch it lol ,2.0
45517,employment and depression tldr up front since this might end up being a long post over the past couple years i have struggled with keeping a job for long periods of time due to my depression does anyone have any tips or tricks for finding employment that is sustainable despite a mental illnesshey rdepression first time poster long time lurker here i guess this starts way back in  when i was first diagnosed i had a high responsibility high stress job in the army that really exacerbated my depression – it got to the point where i was inpatient for psychiatric care for almost  of  over  days after being diagnosed with mdd a board decided i was no longer fit for service and i lost that job about  years earlier than i anticipated my contract to endafter that i moved to a new state with better employment opportunities and worked a lower stress temptohire job for almost a whole year by the end of that time i had been searching for another job for months and was ready to quit without anything lined up just because the work environment was so toxic and because i was just kind of  surviving  if that makes sense i eventually found another high responsibility job in my field that paid much better but over the couple of months i was there my depression symptoms reemerged and continued to worsen as time went on it got to the point i was having panic attacks just from thinking about going into work and i was paralyzed by the idea of needing the income but being unable to continue eventually i admitted to myself that i had to leave this job toothis means over the past year and a half ive had about four different employers which of course will make hiring me more difficult now the army and some of these other jobs paid relatively well allowing me to save here and there and i actually have some disability pay from leaving the service but obviously my savings and disability is not enough that i can survive without other employment im thinking about reaching out to the temp agency again because they really helped but my biggest fear is jumping into another role that sets myself up for failure and worsening depression its a mystery to me how others supposedly work forty hours a week for  years doing work they cant stand because i can barely handle doing that for less than a year without seeing a serious return in symptomsdoes anyone have any tips or tricks they have found for finding sustainable employment despite having a mental illness or maybe some advice on how to rationalize employment a little better so i dont feel so trapped in needing to work but sometimes being unable to id be happy to give more details about my specific experience and qualifications if they are relevant but i think its more about finding work that i can maintain rather than work i am qualified for searching the web seems to only say looking for work is harder with a mental illness or its your choice to tell your employer about your mental illness neither of which really help at all thanks rdepression and though it might be impossible i really hope everybody who reads this can have a good day today if it makes any difference wherever you are today i want you to know that im proud of you that youre still here – i know firsthand how difficult that can be,3.0
45518,is very jealous that a lot of you are heading to grand cayman for  and shes heading to the maui film festival instead  ,2.0
45519,beertendernick lol did you actually buy a bottle were you having girly drink night oh wait cherry mojitos nevermind ,0.0
45520,im getting tired of living not even sure why im posting here i guess because i dont have the heart to tell anyone else i feel this way i have no plans to kill myself but ive been thinking about it more and more frequently my ex and one of my only friends i talk to about my depression is the only one that knows i kinda want to kill myself but she doesnt really want anything to do with me she said she was worried about me and still cares about me but she cant deal with another depressed person because she is also depressed and doesnt want to see meim almost  and have ruined my life im never gonna find love or do anything worthwhile i feel like im dead already and at this point im just running the clock if i killed myself at least i wouldnt have to keep suffering day in day out,3.0
45521,jermayn i wouldnt be able to handle that situation well ,0.0
45522,living in a screwed up love triangle ,2.0
45523, haha  oh and i finally saw greys insane,0.0
45524,sokjay ,0.0
45525, ooh ive been to england france and italy it was amazing there i wish i were older tho i was only  ,2.0
45526,lsepulve jajaja nopeshe was an oldie woman ,2.0
45527,had fun with the sims  sadly had to part ways hoping it wont rain so much tomorrow ,2.0
45528,finally done whw for the night  i think ill watch a movie,0.0
45529,honorsociety i wish i could get them but i cant ,2.0
45530,i miss the gf too ,2.0
45531,evilkimisevil i was sad to hear they shaved too  i really liked the beards i feel like im in the minority,2.0
45532,im a loser and always will be  im such a loser in life and seems like it gets worse every day im  still live with my mother no girlfriend no friends and no social life poor and unemployed yes i know i should stop feeling sorry for myself but its almost impossible not to when things are like this i never had a normal family my father was a drug addict since i was a baby and never cared about me and my brother not even after he got clean and died without ever looking for us my mother isnt much better was a failure all her life as well and we dont have a relationship just fights all day every day went to college to get a shitty degree almost everyone goes to college in my country as it is accessible to everyone even without financial resources because government pays for that and seems like ill never get a qualified job in my field of studies and to be honest i feel like ive got no skills to get it either even with the degree  ive been unemployed for  months now and all the jobs ive had either required almost no skills or were temporary without the possibility of becoming financially independent in the long term either way its just difficult to find a job that allows me to move and live alone without a partner because the minimum wage is so low that its almost impossible to pay rent bills food etc by myself ive been replying to job ads almost every day for some time now without success i had a beautiful girlfriend who i miss to death for  years  who left once she realized i was going to be a loser all my life and i cant blame her since then my social life got even worse the few acquaintances i had back then were mainly her friends who of course left when she left i was never popular or had many friends and definitely no real ones nowadays ive got nobody literally nobody who to call for a simple coffee or to spend some time with mainly because of my social anxiety and lack of social skills when i make a friend i usually ruin everything by staying at home for days and not reaching for them either for not having money to do nothing or because i do not feel like leaving home and they eventually move on cant blame them either and as far as girls who would ever want a loser like me ive got no problems with my looks but the social anxiety and the current state of my life make me feel ill never date again i spend my days at home without seeing the sun for weeks sometimes i went trough some phases now times where i woke up and went to bed crying like a baby times where i didnt get out of bed for days except going to bathroom and now i dont even know isnt just sadness its the lack of emotions the sense of emptiness sometimes i get out of the house to go for a walk by myself or to visit my grandparents im just fed up with all this same shit every day but at the same time ive got no will to change things once again its such a sense of emptiness i cant kill myself the only thing that stops me is the lack of courage it would be different if i had access to a gun i wish to die during my sleep maybe some family members would feel sad at first but at least all this shit would end im just a worthless piece of shit ill be miserable all my life and will end up alone im sure if youre reading this thank you for your time and sorry for any english mistakes ,3.0
45533,only existing as ugly and humiliating  i cant bring myself to exercise regularly study properly im in my final year look even somewhat normal eat a healthy diet or clean my room i feel like such a humiliation of a woman every other girl in my school is either smart or pretty i feel like those are the only two things we are allowed to be i feel so disconnected from my age group everybody is drinking partying getting into relationships and having friends i feel stuck absolutely nowhere like i was manufactured wrong its as though something is literally missing inside of me im trying to fill in college course but its clear i cant do anything im never going to get near enough points for what i want and even so ill probably end up having to live with my parents for another    years until i can get a mortgage i feel like im stuck inside a jar all my senses are manipulated because im separted from everyone else ,3.0
45534,cant see out of my left eye  blind for good,2.0
45535,oh and i had my last first day today ,2.0
45536,home but along  and my head dizzzy all over s,2.0
45537,this was supposed to b a quick change why am i still debugging hmmm  i will not complain not complain not complainpandora is good,2.0
45538,cbd traffic sucks light is green but cant move ,2.0
45539,im heading to the bus depot first thing to see if the cleanersdrivers have found my phone otherwise ,2.0
45540, depression myths we need to stop believing  httpstcojtraizckjt,1.0
45541,stuck not going to sit here and provide my life story cause that will take too long but ill give a brief explanation of whats going onim  currently in high school and im stuckive just had an experience that drove me to tears i wasnt abused i wasnt physically hurt in anyway but i was torn apart to the point of tears it involved my mom and the broken relationship between my parents long story short i was put in a horrible place between the feud between my parents and i took a majority of the emotional crossfire this has happened my entire life and my main coping mechanism was the time i had away from home which is school unfortunately ive just come to find out that maybe im not even liked at school i feel left out of conversations and i feel that my friends secretly dont like me and want me to be there i had an incident about  years ago in my elementary school and it drove me into a depression because i had no way of coping with what was going on at home anymore luckily i was saved by the transition to high school where i met new people and there was a completely different scene but now my high school life might actually be fake too and im afraid ill have nothing left if my school life is ruinedi think i might need someone to talk to,3.0
45542,i dont know how to describe this other than feeling lost im not on reddit much nor do i ever really post and if im being honest i dont fully know what im expecting from this and apologies if im breaking any rules im  and unemployed as the job market in my city is just complete garbage and many other friends in my age group are struggling to even attain an interview except for  of the females apparently since money has been a struggle my whole life this brings on a world of stress anxiety and depression i very recently was employed at a temp agency and while itll help me and i will see through it the uncertainty and instability of this just kills me ive been on medication for  years now and i feel like i need a therapist but its unaffordable the meds help on and off but im starting to feel like it doesnt really matter what meds i take or what dosage maybe my life is just shit because no matter what i do how far i get i always end up right back here where every single time im alone its a full fledged war whatever i do i always come back to feeling like this and im just so utterly exhausted i want to understand why i always feel like this maybe find out if im doomed or im doing something wrong i could go on and make this post  longer filled with every struggle ive got but im not the only one with these struggles and the more questions i ask the more questions i end up with it seems i just know i cant live like this anymore because whatever this is it isnt living,3.0
45543,total waste of a day ive suffered from depressionanxietyptsd for a long time most days i can function ok and put the mask on but today ive been completely unable to get out of bed its like a paralysis and i cant even talk to anyone the trigger today was being the first day of being legally separated after  years of marriage and although in some ways its a relief that its happening i dont think ive ever felt as lonely im terrified of the future and knowing im a failed husband and father will mean i cant foresee any relationship again ,3.0
45544,kingjames hi lebron my name is mike jerry w papas and im just a kid from the  like you my family use to ow ,0.0
45545,the fight is continuous the tides of this fight are shifting further against me this may be long i apologize its my first post on reddit and theres a lot of weight on my chest ive had diagnosed depression since before i knew what that even meant my solution was to join the military in hope of dying in combat i didnt want anyone to have to deal with or pay for the mess of a suicide for those that dont know military personnel have life insurance in the sum of  parents wouldnt have to pay for anything and id actually be able to be worth something in that insurance payment i deployed to afghanistan twice we primarily operated in near around khabul when it was the most hostile place in the world however i returned twice my depression became far more complex and just one of many new diagnosis id managed to make several friends while in the marine corps some never returned home from deployment with us some met various other ends to their lives only  other remains my career since getting out has been a losing battle its investment based and to say im up against multimillionaire giants would be a gross understatement my family situation is strained in every way and has provided only burden since i can remember i have never been able to sleep well i havent been hungry in years i put on a happy act anytime im around anyone though this is incredibly infrequent anymore i work from home and scarcely leave the house all i can manage to do anymore is fight off the flood of excruciating thoughts that i keep in the back of my mindit is a war it is a war that used to be a somewhat even matchthat is no longer true i am losing the war i am surrounded out manned and underequipped i have however figured out a way to verbalize something that may speak to veterans suicide attempt survivors or those that have seriously considered it it is difficult to accept your own death fully accept it which i dont believe is highly common  it is far more difficult to accept that you will now live thank you for listening,3.0
45546,writing annual reports is never fun but being cooped up on a sunny day is making it hell ,2.0
45547,ahw that was cute ,0.0
45548,i have an unhappy baby   shes teething,2.0
45549,hanging out with my ashweee tonight ,0.0
45550,i am about to go swimming with my baby i haven done it for  thousand years ,0.0
45551,retweeting eenez justtomo duh not everyone looks as fabulous with short hair as your wife hahaha  i love it ,0.0
45552,i dont know if i have situational depression or clinical and im scared ive never been known as someone who has depression  ive never had feelings of ending my life and for the most part any sadness ive had has been situational  the problem is i have a lot of situations in my life and past  granted there have been great things too but most of my life has been overcoming one thing after another  again i have to stress that some amazing things have been happening at the same time  yes i grew up poor have scoliosis that required a surgery that didnt do much good i lost my mom when i was  suffered mental abuse from a drugaddict older brother had to drop out of school and live on my own from  up lost my only grandparent at  lost my dad when i was  lost my brother a little over a year ago etc  but during all that time i played in a fun band for  years found my now amazing wife when i was  went to college for the first time and got my masters degree when i was  moved out of state and got the best paying job of my life and now we own our first condo  so ive always been good at recognizing good things and not letting bad things weigh them down  however with this shutdown of everything im being forced to work from home alone my wife is a nurse so shes got to be at work  im realizing that i dont like to be alone with my thoughts and i get moody more often  for the first time in my life im literally thinking things like i kinda hope i get the  and it ends this  im an atheist and its starting to make me realize that nothing matters  it began hitting me that i might have some kind of depression last year when we moved here  one of our cats who had always had constipation suddenly showed signs of cancer in his spine  almost immediately after  years of having him and dealing with occasional constipation he started losing the use of his hind legs  when we put him down i lost my shit  i told my wife that i dont know what was wrong with me  i thought maybe the death of my brother was just hitting me too  i was sobbing for  straight days over this cat  i still get sad thinking about him  to top that off one of our  cats started showing weakness in his hind legs the other day  took him to the vet  they didnt see any reason to believe its a spinal thing checked his reflexes etc and think he may have sprained something hes   so i take the other cat in for a checkup and have them look at this lump hes had for  years on his skin because it recently looked like it was full of blood  they did a test and now were looking at a  surgery to remove a mast cell tumor from him  if something happens to these cats i fear im going to lose it  i guess im depressed when something is wrong but it seems like its always somethingive got insurance so i could see someone  but as of today i dont know that id feel ok spending the money when ive got a cat that needs surgery etc  im sorry for the allovertheplace method ive used to describe this  but its literally how my brain works,3.0
45553,baby got stung by a jellyfish at the beach today   httptweetsg,2.0
45554,hey i actually won one of my bracket pools too bad it wasnt the one for money ,2.0
45555,good morning ,0.0
45556, well i will give it back when i see you lol ,0.0
45557,i just need someone to talk to right now today has been really hard over the past year i have alienated all my friends and i just really need someone to talk to right now but i dont know who,3.0
45558,chilling in deri with the band just ordered a lush pizzanow playing halo n listening to   whats everyone up to anyone still up,0.0
45559, no but want to come  have you been to the uk  x,0.0
45560,katborja kat howre you  heard school suspended  lucky you i miss csa badly,2.0
45561,i feel depressed again i dont even have the energy to explain whyi just feel so hopeless and alone,3.0
45562,trying to repair the washing machine now as its just flooded the utility room ,2.0
45563,chucky take a spotlight so you can get some good light on them  long way home for you too ,2.0
45564,television tells lies to your vision so beware of the tricknology set off to fool the mind and thats a fact ,0.0
45565,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
45566,beautiful day had a bike ride now waiting to go to my dads ,0.0
45567,ugh i just realized im gonna miss the new hannah montana on sunday ,2.0
45568,start of a busy day  finish forms bring forms down tidy room clear back room pick up boyfriend from airport eat sleep  good times,0.0
45569,i wish my mom was with me now for her bday ,2.0
45570,check out the   track on the charts the ahsphyx remix you wont regret it  best of luck to all the co ,0.0
45571,so tired of this i was going to make a throwaway account to maintain anonimity before finally posting something like this on a forum like this but im at the point where im starting to think that there really is no point theres no point because i guess im never going to get better and people might as well know that im just faking it im lying to everyone but most of all to myself times like this when my real self comes out and i realize nothing has changed its only gotten worse in the past  years its almost as if i get to the stage where i can accept that it might never truly go away the best i can do is try to contain it not let it take a hold over me try to focus on the positive things and then it goes well for a while sometimes for extended periods but then when this happens its like a slap to the face i realize that the contenthappy state must have just been a hazy vague dissociated version of myself who just decided not to feel as deeply and therefore managed to avoid plunging into this abyss its really funny how it starts off with me using the techniques i was told to have selfworth feel like my opinion and wellbeing matters stand up for myselfand then when things start crumbling and i push people away who care about me i make them feel like shit which in turn makes me feel like shit because they still dont understand that im not doing this to hurt them then when im informed of the reality of what a piece of shit i am so i naturally decide to remove myself from the situation or put myself down its all sure go be the martyr when someone you love says something like you make me so angry that i feel like taking up drinking it really makes you think about how you managed to be such a harmful spiteful horrible being that can apparently only hurt people and the saddest part this used to anger and hurt me even morebut now its almost as if i feel nothing i feel like i deserve this that i deserve to feel this way i must really be that horrible and i must really be doing all this for attention or because i only think about myself maybe theyre right my soul is tiredi dont want this who the hell would want this i guess its having to choose between living a lie and hiding this forever or livingdying alone,3.0
45572,you know youre a cybertown geek when yor set your watch to ct time  scifiplantlady,0.0
45573,is very disappointed ,2.0
45574,ive heard that depression is anger turned inward if someone who is depressed has been expressing more anger lately does that indicate an improvement i ask this honestly i can see how depression could be anger directed inward so if someone who has been withdrawn and depressed starts showing signs of anger and hostility can it mean that they are starting to direct it outwardly or can it be that it just has no where else to go cause their cup is already full if it is a sign that they are getting better how do you encourage them to express it more without it becoming destructive,3.0
45575,lol at  and kpamintuan  thank you bao bei ,0.0
45576,the worst part is knowing that your totally out of reach  ,2.0
45577,jebbieboo okily dokily no worries hunnie so sorry to have woken you i feel bad anyway cos its mostly begging again  speak soon,2.0
45578,watched slumdog millionair  new fav movie wit my favorite song haha mike,0.0
45579,new shoes have given me blisters ,2.0
45580,talking to tiffany on mypace havent talked in about  years i miss her ,2.0
45581,lizph we ended up driving back to habana in costa mesa for a nice outdoor dinner  roadkill was a cool boutique were gonna review it ,0.0
45582,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
45583,keep singing lost in translation can you believe it we just woke up and stang lost in translation  we need to be there again ,2.0
45584,really broke havent been this broke since lasts child support bill ,2.0
45585,aplenzin vs wellbutrin ive been on aplenzin  for about a year it works pretty welli still have fairly bad anhedonia but the hopelessness and lows of my depression are significantly reducedthe main reason i liked aplenzin was that it was once a day i had an intro rate at my pharmacy but it is now  per monthwould switching to a generic twiceaday dose of wellbutrin be reasonable my doctor has said i could do either before but i choose aplenzin because of the convenience has anyone switched or noticed any differences in terms of effectiveness sex drive appetite energy etc when they switched thanks,3.0
45586,i  have a video of me in my new apartment but youtube is being mean ,2.0
45587,iziaee thanks  i downloaded it from youtube,0.0
45588,mickyflores hey babe i got number  with grilled onions earlier todayhehe ,0.0
45589,rappelzgame i lost my free lucky pot oo how can i get it backstupid bug ,2.0
45590,how to take care of your kids mental health  kidshealth kidsmentalhealth mentalhealth parenting,0.0
45591,going outside after a couple of days after a long episode of depression ,2.0
45592,only two more exams to go  happiness ,0.0
45593,mlond hynice to meet you thx for following me do you come from uk ehm iam from indonesia keep in touch ,0.0
45594,im losing followers lol ,2.0
45595,i feel like a failure amp hate myself i havent been able to hold a job longer than a few months as of recently my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been out of work due to the restrictions placed on her i feel like a piece of worthless shit knowing i cant help her with bills someone tell me how were going to get by with a  from walmart  i just cant take it anymore this constant feeling of being a failure in life and not able to help and progress my own,3.0
45596,therealchloe how was  again good i think so because u said youll die for zac efron ,0.0
45597,dating someone with depressionbpd  background my gf has depressionbpd ive convinced her to reenter therapy and shes been going for about a month nowive had a lot of problems with my gf in terms of splitting recently now going on nearly  months its gotten to the point where she rarely responds to me texts and gets very irritable sometimes when she does and will lash out and tell me to stop texting her etc then again once in a blue we will have a nice long dialogue and everything will go well although thats usually shortlived lately its been less of i need space and time to be alone which i have done and more of just get away from me but its never consistenther last text to paraphrase went ive never felt good im always miserable and you cant do anything about it i dont like hanging out i dont like having friends i dont like anybody and i have no one im tired of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone to make you happy meanwhile im depressed and uncomfortable with everything i dont need you in my life and you dont need me nothing good is coming out of this anymorei would say her comment im tired of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone to make you happy is pretty unrealistic because i never tellforce her to respond to my texts rather she feels every text is forcing her in a sense which ive told her is not the case and prior to this splitting occurring out of the blue things were actually going very welli am aware of the abandonment aspect of splitting and i have no intention of leaving her however i do want to give her space currently ive been contacting her once or twice a week via text only to keep things positive and light i get responses less and less frequently and nothing since the aforementioned text so my question is how should i proceed from here am i doing the right thing by keeping in contact to the extent that i am how much space is appropriate without validating her feelings that i am going to abandon her,3.0
45598,near death experiences suppress suicidal thinking ive been persistently depressed for roughly a decade  i have few friends and have been in relationships for all of a few weeks since  ive had two near death experiences  in one case i vomited in my sleep from food poisoning and it got in my lungs  in the second case i lost control of my car and rolled  ive also been hit with  volts a couple times from old ungrounded equipment  the sum of these events have left me with a profound appreciation for still being here  no matter what else happens i know that i want to be alive no matter how lonely sad and painful things geti am so happy that i am alive i am in a world of shit yes but i am alive full metal jacketanyone else experienced something like this,3.0
45599,good luck ,0.0
45600,one of favorite shows just released a new episode and i guess that was enough to pick myself up today ive been away from work for a week now because of an awkward unnecessarily complicated situation at work involving a complaint made against me all this time spent at home has been unhealthy for me im pretty sure im getting paid for this administrative leave so im not stressed about money but its made me remember that i also work to keep myself busyim keeping phone charged waiting for that call from hr last heard from them friday afternoon but its really hard to get out of bed when i dont have work to go to early last week it was hard to get out of bed at my usual time then it was hard to get out of bed before noon now its just hard to get out of bed i think today i did it around  i ate some food i sat outside in my backyard and listened to birds then i looked at my phone again again and this time checked my emails got an email from amazon saying into the badlands has a new episode i went inside and i showered and then i got on my computer and watched the new episode wrote a couple comments about it over at rintothebadlandsalso while i was still in bed i got myself to write a post on riwatchedanoldmovie about  and that has a couple comments now too i get tired of these internet text conversations eventually but they still feel better than nothing i did also get a call from my dad to check on me about the job situation but it was brief i appreciate him reaching out though even if i cant find anything to saythat was my first shower in  days i think glad i got that done heres hoping that tomorrow either i get that call or at least i find another thing to get me out of bed,3.0
45601,scapegoatnc hey guys ,0.0
45602,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
45603,im soooooo fricken glad that i already have my finals tickets and that their not  a piece  yay,0.0
45604,rt namiswmo thank you to cox north psychological department for raising money for mental health awareness month we are httpstco,1.0
45605,off to the club ,0.0
45606,brianpuspos right when i logged out of my computer ,2.0
45607, days amp  text messages this month ,2.0
45608,skroon theyre slaves so why not get them all to wave you after theyve done the drinking they can die waving you ,0.0
45609,phone hey to anyone who just feels fucked right now if you want to talk or text im  im probably in the same boat as you so i get it ,3.0
45610,rip farrah  such a huge part of my childhood,2.0
45611,feeling alone im  years old ive been depressed all my life and i have really bad anxiety i dont know how to talk to people i have no friends  everyone at school bullys me i cant take it anymore everyone treats me like trash all i want is to be normaland perfect like everyone else i dont even know how to talk to people im done with my shitty life i want to kill myself and everyone else doesnt care nobody cares about me nobody would care if i died i might as well just kill myselfi cant take the emotional pain anymore looking for somebody to talk to who has similar problems thanks ,3.0
45612,happy mothers day to all you mommas we spent the day working on the chicken coop surprise ,0.0
45613,ouch the fact that my parents are fighting might just lead me to do the thing ive been thinking about,3.0
45614,pepampa sounds like a great minivacation  and your hair looks awesome ,0.0
45615,is there any sort of free therapy i can get im a minor so i dont have the money nor insurance to get into contact with anyone i need help like really really need help i ask constantly for therapy im order to receive said help but my mother who i live with has made no progress in getting me help it could be because she cant afford it but no matter the reason i am spiraling and i need help now before i do something drastic is there anything free that i can get for myself or something where i dont have to go through an insurance or something like that,3.0
45616,is actually workin the weekendnot for it ,2.0
45617,wygba but i love ms tootsies ,2.0
45618,maddieque oh i got it  haha well teen pop country not hard rock classic and so on i luv a lot kind ,0.0
45619,mia dnacowboy  just wanted to say it  because im blind to dem hataz or trying to ,0.0
45620,its raining ,0.0
45621,ddlovato i like that phrase  quotbeautifully madequot  ,0.0
45622,glassesdirect i just spoke to a lovely kiwi i think who was very helpful re my missing audrey frames  i hope they arrive soon,0.0
45623, working on putting a new french door in the house pictures later,0.0
45624,rt forreeignnn me thinking about life and the stress vs how i deal it with being lit and smiling ,0.0
45625,if you know that you can do more with your life but youre just not sure what it is then check out httpmrjaredjamescom  peace ,0.0
45626,i dont think ill ever consistently be happy ever again hi allto be honest i dont even know why im writing this as if reddit comments are going to help me solve years of mental anguish but i guess when you have nobody to turn too it doesnt mattera little background im a  year old college student in the united states ive been chasing that feeling of happiness since i was in middle school i first came to grips with my depression in when i was around  i was bullied heavily around this time by my peers and would cry myself to sleep many nights in high school i began to branch out more socially and became popular in a sense but this did nothing to fill the void i felt inside when i went off to college my freshman year i got the only glimmer of hope ive had in years i fell absolutely in love with someone and for the first time in my life they loved me back this girl was special to me she made me feel emotions i hadnt felt in literal years and having her in my life was actually really helping my mental health then this year a year and a half into our relationship she broke it off i know this sounds pathetic but shes literally all i think about when im alone and ive been in a state of constant self loathing and numbness in the month thats followed her leaving i finally had something that made me feel whole and the fact that i lost it eats me up inside every single day ive started to think about suicide regularly i dont think ill ever have the guts to do it but i cant count how many times i think about it a day i just want to believe i can be happy again on my own but im so tired of having to force a smile on my face everyday i just wish i could be normal and happy like everyone else because im sick of feeling this way this is derailing into a pointless rant now so i guess ill just leave it at thatif you made it this far thanks for reading i hope youre doing better than i am,3.0
45627,maliajonas omg really thats awsome mrs nick jonas  what he say  im good thanks amp yourself love ,0.0
45628,in my life so far,1.0
45629,ugh i have so much to do ,2.0
45630,what should i do when i have a bad day ive struggled with severe depression most of my life but recently ive been doing really well and on medication today though ive just been pretty depressed and anyone with depression knows how a bad day can easily turn to a miserable few months so to avoid that anyone got some tips to feel better,3.0
45631,emilyalltimelow awww  so you cant tell me how that blonde one dies,2.0
45632,i should be making up for all the reading i havent done this week but instead im watching my like  movie of the day hmm yay school ,2.0
45633,dramaaprincess but why i know him with short hair is unquestionably the best but i like him with long dc hair too ,0.0
45634,check usgang ch  at  theres ultra violence ,0.0
45635,is breaking the cycle even worth it the fact that i can go completely unnoticed by literally thousands of people every day just baffles me ive learned to just lie all the time and smile as much as i can and tell people its okay and im fine and all the usual bullshit monday was my  birthday and i dont know why i didnt just do it then i feel like everything that ive been working towards is bullshit and that nothing gets better i dont remember a happy memory or day in the past  years that makes me think anything is worth going on its like that one meme that says but mom will be sad as the only reason not to kill yourself i finally reconnected with them but god damn it i dont know if its worth it i know this is all over the place but honestly i just needed to rant and get some shit off my chest everything always hurts and i feel like the world around me is getting darker and darker and im getting more isolated i know my normal signs of when im about to spiral downward again but at this point i dont even know what the point is to try and change the path i dont even know if i want to ,3.0
45636,me tosses jaybellbooks smelly ass in the shower  thanks for the comment on my vide,0.0
45637,you can own a  year old hummer for only     ,0.0
45638,darkthoughts depression despair,2.0
45639,robsten doesnt exist ,0.0
45640,nixing bikingswimming for today davey doesnt feel well and no one else is free to join me swimming alone  no fun ,2.0
45641,bored assigmenting   school finishes for holidayz in  weeks,2.0
45642,aww thats like the  death id heard about in the last few days ,2.0
45643,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
45644,   awesome job babe im so fuckin proud of you ,0.0
45645,sad to read what rob wrote here   i hope youll have be happy soon ,2.0
45646,is this what depression is i am not sad all the time backstory  months ago i experienced a severe emotional upheaval i went to the hospital and involved necessary parties but nothing could be done i dont want to fmgo in to specific detail  months ago this person got away with something no one should ever get away withi am filled with such rage how could someone do such a thing and how can our judicial system fail so profoundly these thoughts fill my head every night its been worse lately it starts as rage and swiftly turns in to helplessness and devastation i have always considered myself to be rather apathetic its like i flick a switch and i just dont care anymore its always been that way but  months ago its like the control ive had over all my feelings were unleashed i was crying screaming throwing things i attended a few counseling sessions but aside from the first session i was fineits always at night when i no longer have my tv or kids or anything really to distract me from my thoughts yesterday i was so helpless and distraught i wanted to punch holes in my bedroom door and rip it right off the hinges i was a sobbing mess last night and im a mess tonighti feel like it cant possibly be depression what kind of depression only affects you at night i suppose of i talked about it during the day i may very well snapthats kinda what im afraid of that i will snap i tell myself every day that god will punish this person for what they have doneim so scared to see a counselor because im afraid they will take my kids away from me if i tell them the thoughts i have i would never harm my kids or allow harm to come to them i need help but i am scared,3.0
45647,rorossonera ro i tried uploading the video to youtube and it came out bad  the only way is megaupload and that wasnt working for you,2.0
45648,tpohisself i admit it took me a minute to figure out that card trick ,0.0
45649,this is gonna be a long sleepless night ,2.0
45650, quoti am craving his voicequot cheezy rite,2.0
45651, i was at bar louie last night and you werent  ,2.0
45652,gave my phone to the grandparents for a bit thy left it in the car all day ,2.0
45653,rt cnni driving to work has been shown to increase levels of stress anxiety depression back pain and blood pressure httpstcosvldf,1.0
45654,olgatheemolga not to go full uwu but your type is people who look like they care  about everyone and never wa ,0.0
45655,missfree i cant get through ,2.0
45656,ok i like biology i just dont like it right now ,2.0
45657,good morning tweetheads the suns shining again but i got to do spreadsheets ,2.0
45658,is happy bout life i just ate a small bag of gummy bears i murdered the hell out them bears ,0.0
45659,what a boring day ,2.0
45660,waiting for the hangover to start watched up in  last night and it was amazing ,0.0
45661,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
45662,coffee always seems to help lift me out of lows i dont really have too much to say but its just something thats on my mind a lot and i was wondering what others peoples experiences and opinions are about coffee and maybe other kinds of stimulants its hard to say how much of it is purely psychological and how much of it has to do with caffeine itself but my mood always seems lifted by it so i think its having real affects for me for instance yesterday i had a cup and i felt lifted up enough to do some things that potentially changed my whole day for the better opposed to if i had not had it ,3.0
45663,holliehixson happy mothers day we are on our way to the  service  see you there,0.0
45664,kmargossian youre very welcome ,0.0
45665,blue and white ignite lets go magic ,0.0
45666,im thinkin wasnt so smart to skip the sun screen today can anyone say lobster ,2.0
45667,ugh im so bored have to go to art class  just wanna get good to my guitar ,2.0
45668,just trialling trillian astra complete with twitter amp fb support ,0.0
45669,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
45670,went to a beautiful wedding in the rain today  literally  it was outside    it was perfect though  little rain never hurt anything,0.0
45671,defining her style and life growing up everyday ,0.0
45672,no one is bringing snacks ,2.0
45673, lauriespoon annieadelel  willtrumpyou tomallnutt ghostoftick officalcupofjoe ,2.0
45674,what a weird weather  june has been historically the most beautiful month of the year here  ,2.0
45675,djaceofspades we def might have to discuss sumtinbut in a few hours wen i wake up lol this is a serious inquiry ,0.0
45676,sickophantikmnd hey no wallet  cancelled credit cards now i jus remembered i hav bills on autopay grr,2.0
45677,i think i have depression throwaway account for obvious reasonsim  my mother committed suicide via pills when i was  year old ive never gotten over it i dont like my stepmother and i dont spend a day of my life without regretting not being able to meet my mom truly the only thing that keeps me from crying about it every day is that i dont think ill get up literally im constantly stressed i have trouble sleeping and i no longer enjoy my hobbies i think about dying ofteni wish to die i saw how bad my mothers death affected my dad and im not gonna let that happen again but i dont know how far i can goi cant own up to it im too scared,3.0
45678, oh sorry to hear about this too  sad ,2.0
45679,betterhelp i am thinking about subscribing to betterhelp online counseling i would like to know if anyone had experience with this,3.0
45680,my waiting anxiety is high,2.0
45681, after two months    pictures finally printed y dougiemcfly w isfiu and me amp he shines lol edward  ,0.0
45682,forget about me ,2.0
45683,erikbruce i am lost please help me find a good home ,2.0
45684,donniewahlberg im sad for the aussie fans i feel bad cause i had a chance to so far see  concerts cruise they dont get any concerts ,2.0
45685,damn this movie had a really sad ending  you guys are in for a treat maestro,2.0
45686,im so tired but dont want to go to bed want to watch new ep of the hills at  ,0.0
45687,ddlovato what about ur album being called lovatopotatotomato lol im not being mean i like you  take care all the best,0.0
45688,ihategrowingup im supposed to but no not today my body refuses to do enjoy working on the weekend dear it might get you somewhere ,0.0
45689,bhiney i work at  tomorrow fuckkkkk ,2.0
45690,watching a music countdown on tv ,0.0
45691,jeluttrull thanks   yeah i was watching it a bit earlier but my heart wasnt really in it  shocking i know,0.0
45692,i havent been here for a few days cuz exams but really i feel so sad for all what happened really i love u i hope httpstcoxdfkqaumar,1.0
45693,re exam tomorrow i could cry cause im so nervous  night xx,2.0
45694,  new moon baybeeim so excited ,0.0
45695,working both jobs today amp tmrw buy a booth and then come eat some sweet fusion  straits back to ohiooooo wedsmon asian fest ,0.0
45696,saw someone that looks like brenda in the exam hall today ,0.0
45697,new moon  cant wait,0.0
45698, better than nothing right  how old is she,0.0
45699,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
45700,kirstencraig yeah so im not going to math  im nottt getting a detention s fuck that i have so much work  eng amp law,2.0
45701,omg going to spain next week  maartlovato come home with me i need you say goodbye  u leave  ,2.0
45702,my eyes are burning ,2.0
45703,im exhausted and my feet hurt ,2.0
45704,i thought it was summer in denmark the weather looks at crap as it is here and were starting winter ,2.0
45705,cat just brought me a small struggling rodent which was flailing but unable to get up worst way to wake up in the middle of the night ,2.0
45706,nap time all this pettiness has worn me out ,0.0
45707,ugh i have to go back to work today ,2.0
45708,sometimes i wish i was dead stupid sometimes i wish i was dead stupid i mean i am already stupid n get fooled n stuff but sometimes i wish i just dont wanna realize it either what i mean is what if i was just stupid like really stupid like more than nobita stupid so that people would play me fool me use me etc n i wouldnt realize it and let them id just stay happy ig what im saying is that i wish i was kinda mentally ill not completely yknow you get it anyways so if i was stupid then people would break my heart n cheat on me n dont give me attention or whatsoever i just wouldnt realize n let them keep doing it even when theyd tell me what they did id still not get sad so in that sense at least i wouldnt feel bad for hurting those who broke me only id be at loss but everyone would be happy its still hard to explain but in simple words i wouldnt overthink anything then i wouldnt stay awake for nights crying myself to sleep while overthinking and listening to alec benjamin i wouldnt notice if my partner wasnt giving my attention or living me enough i wouldnt be so needy and clingy then that everyone leaves me theres a lotta more i could write but still some wouldnt understand who would im sure they understood already because no matter how good you are at understanding you just cant feel it unless it actually happens with you too i mean you couldve gone through something worse but still i hope there would be some of you who went through this and understand this or probably not i get it,3.0
45709,radiomatthew hii ,0.0
45710,got lots of good snax for study on sunday ,0.0
45711,i dont know anymore i dont have the best grammar so im sorrybut the only reason why i havent actually went through with killing my self because my girls best friend killed himself almost a year ago and it crushed her i feel nothing at all anymore she use to be my happy place but now when i look at her i feel nothing but pain and emptiness i love her more than anything but i want her to leave me so she can succeed in life i have no future at all but she does she is so smart and beautiful she could do so much better than me and i dont wanna break anything off cause my parents would disown me cause they love her more than me she deserves the world and i just give her nothing its not that i want to be single its cause i just wanna be alone in life and she deserves someone thats gonna give her a family and happy memories i feel so shitty and i dont want her to see me suffer anymore ,3.0
45712,would it b wrong for me to talk shxt about khleot i wouldnt want him to cus me out like  almost did  ,0.0
45713,reaalinc me but im in brooklyn ,2.0
45714,wishing i didnt have to miss my mamas birthday today ,2.0
45715,westendactress right im going off the twitterland unfortunately not going to join u in the all nighter ,2.0
45716,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
45717,so much to do and no time to ever do it ,2.0
45718,jenson not enough laps left to get and overtake rosberg and massa  ,2.0
45719,been waiting for some decent telly all day now doc martin   and jonathon ross all in a row  happy times,0.0
45720,no rain today but its back tomorrow says the weatherpeople ,2.0
45721,you just dont know itjb i love the way they sound so young so  going to attempt to halfway finish this chapter ,0.0
45722,stuarthoward say hello to richardsproject from me if you see him ,0.0
45723,rt stsseuregi nooo ,2.0
45724,stress isnt written anywhere in the bible not once,2.0
45725,taking steps seeing a psychiatrist i am  years old was diagnosed with depression when i was  by a therapist i am  now and am ready to tackle this i was advised by a friend to see a psychiatrist first to get a diagnosis and a care planprescription how do i approach a psychiatrist to get this help what should i expect and what should i expect to pay i have insurance but it wont cover this,3.0
45726,dianeabapo alien bees battery pack is actually really good and reliable i dont have a portable strobe kit ,2.0
45727,mmm boys are unbelievable ,0.0
45728,car with fam ,0.0
45729,its  and all i can think about is not existing    i dont even know why im posting here i suppose im looking for a reason i dunno   i look at how hard my father works to have raised me and feel like im a worthless deadbeat because i cant find a single place to hire me so i can help him i feel like a complete waste of resources at this point despite what he says    i know that if i kill myself then he will too due to me supporting him throughout his and my mothers divorce hes even told me that im his only reason for living so i really dont know what to do now im a shell of a person who knows hell kill his father if he puts himself down,3.0
45730,xxmixedmodelxx im in schaumburg rite now  and u want ice cream lol its type chilly outside lol i got ice cream here ,0.0
45731,i miss you sometimes ,2.0
45732,rt omlar im sad and happy  the same time a lot,1.0
45733,cease take me to electro pop ,0.0
45734,anniemacdj heyy  u in ireland  thats cool,0.0
45735,paxdruid any excuse ,0.0
45736,jyeags its endtimes my friend endtimes i tell you ,0.0
45737,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
45738,annhawkins thank you ann should be fine by tuesaday ,0.0
45739,sweetlisi maybe  ive got a paper to work on so maybe ill try that while im awake im having trouble trying to sleep still,0.0
45740,destroytwitter will not work ,2.0
45741,failure scares me i am  years old and i am terrified of the failure i dont want to go to college im scared i wont pass my classes i dont want to be a full time job im afraid i wont be good at it and get fired i dont even want to ask my boss for a full time job as i am scared he will say no i dont want a care i am afraid i will crash it i dont want to ask out the girl i like i am afraid she will say no i have hopes and dreams i want to start a family i want to create i want to write books i want to draw art i want to write stories but i am scared of failing i am not even scared that i wont bounce back after failure i am just scared of how i will feel when i will fail sadness disappointment despair panic no i cant do it i dont want to feel that way i have just been working part time job for a year now doing nothing else except some art i draw my younger brother has his drivers permit a girlfriend has money to buy a car and is getting ready to go to college i wish i was him he has every thing together i am wasting away please some one help me i dont want to be this way i want to achieve things but i am to scared,3.0
45742,i love the scriptespecially breakeven  trying to wake up i hope my belly will settle down again,0.0
45743,wish i could be born again i dont want to die a better life is all i wanted,3.0
45744,where is the light im feeling so dark im having uncontrollable and unpredictable feelings of rage and extreme despair when i come out of it i find it hard to understand how i got to the point i have i feel like im worthless and everything is always my fault the harder i try to make everyones life easier the more i seem to mess it up i have self harmed for over  years on and off the only times i have stopped was when i was in relationships as my partners would have seen the marks im in a relationship now and i feel so dark within myself i dont care if he sees the marks i have been seeking help for over  years and felt i can never reveal my true self out of fear fear of being locked away fear of judgement a few months ago i tried to reach out again and be honest no matter what i told them how i was feeling inside and the darkest parts of me after assuring me i was in a safe space and i can talk about whatever i needed to they proceed to tell me theyd have to inform the police and they felt i was a danger to myself no shit i was a danger to myself but this is why i was trying to talk to try and find a new way to cope or get better i was beyond upset having the police show up on my door asking me if i was going to hurt myself was one of the more embarrassing experiences i have ever have i never went back and they acted shocked that i reacted the way i did i dont know what to do at that time i thought the feelings i was having were the worst i have ever had but now its  fold all i want is to be happy and stop hurting i just want to be able to see the light ,3.0
45745, it was on the live feed this morninghe said quotif u dont like my chollo socks u can eat my quot  u can watch the vid on archive,0.0
45746,rt fivesosjustin i wonder what its like to not have social anxiety to not be afraid of talking to people and to not constantly worry ab,1.0
45747,the post concert depression after tomorrow night is going to be around for a long ass time,2.0
45748,anjanakipfer yup we would rather focus on the more important things ,0.0
45749,icecoldstroke i know it was frustrating lol ,2.0
45750,featherinair call me back ,2.0
45751,i love the color of my nails they are so pretty ,0.0
45752,the demons come out at night like right now no one i know is around  im just here with my chihuahua i just feelalone  i feel you ever just feel ashamed of who you are  you feel like you have no friends and you feel ashamed of who you are  i dont know what im hoping for here im some random dude in seattle  there is no reason for anyone to really give a crap being a guy online sucks you cant really just message and say hi  you have to hangout and get trusted before you can message anyone do you just hope that you get contacted  what the,3.0
45753,sagawa delivery guy wrote the wrong number in the nondelivery notice so i missed the  deadline for same day delivery by a few min ,2.0
45754,just got stood up on a date not the first time but i guess i just have a tough time managing expectations i also feel like im the one putting all the effort into my friendship with someone but they seem to not reciprocate other than hanging out with me when i make plans idk i just am having such a hard time dealing with it all ive basically just laid in bed all day i wish i could just find a connection,3.0
45755,left my phone at home this morning  bad mood,2.0
45756,kjmercer i will i will  just call and get me outta work ,0.0
45757,asentient service in an inanimate universe bumping around something to observe it bloomed through the first suitable vessel the elements kettles life like water boiling quickly at first and slowly began making  larger longer lasting bubbles from more complex vessels dextrous enough to house life and use previous lifes dna memory to brave the elements shouldnt a did that then the sociopath was born the prodigal eternal death cure for any furthering of lifes garden unfurling finally corrected and choked off in the distant future where it became the omnipotent bigot if pettiness supreme and after the moving corpse war ended the war on prepositions began after they too were slain the sociopath remodelled all of the simulants for use in shitting for it the sociopath sat in its shit and demanded that the simulants that she had to murder for not being her thoughts would finally shit all the formys she needed in the pettyshelf fashion needed rather than making her jealous of being innocent enough to suffer like she would but being too spiteful to show themselves doing it the prepositional war still haunts the idea that towards the underneath of the adjacent the diagonal besideness of any object waiting for correction or having the audacity to move around like during the corpse war so everything was wrong for propping up her surroundings and being caught red handed hoiising her attributes of her surroundings into place and skittering away instantly then slowly more weary of the more darkness coming from sociopath that never got lit because opaque an opaque cape the way her surroundings got moved into place as different attributes varied somehow and wasnt her thoughts this was strange the workers hoisting and using pulley systems and slides et cetera to move the props of attributes to her surroundings got slower than her attempt to observe the props it didnt dawn on her that the workers moving the props around would eventually quit altogether bigots hippocrites youre wrong,3.0
45758,rt tbhnugget a nugget a day keeps the depression away,2.0
45759,conference call with quotsurvivor benefits programquoti didnt enjoy talking about in case of my spouses death ,2.0
45760,our wow typo ,0.0
45761,in milpitas  hot pot city wtfack cyns makin me food kus idk how  failcom,2.0
45762,is this just a teen thing so the last couple of years i began to notice that ive been feeling slightly off everyday i experience really bad anxiety in public even if its just taking a walk my friend group boiled down to just a couple actual friends whom i see just a couple times a month everyone around me started dating this made thigs worse because i really want an intimate relationship with a girl pressure is adding up to find someone i hang out with the few friends i had even less im really selfconscious  about my looks even though i dont look bad its becausr im underweight and look really young for the looking young part  people dont usually take me seriously and i stopped expecting them to do so anytime soon everyday i go to school i feel like im wasting time because were learning really useless stuff i feel not as apprieciated as others  at parties i usually try to find someone to hang out with but even drunk i start doubting myself and just stay alone for the whole thing feeling bad about myself i dont know what i want to do in the future im looking forward to it because i hope this isnt the peak of my life and i have better times ahead of me i feel really out of place with people my age i feel like a loser sometimes its hard to get out of bed because its not worth it i dont think there was a moment in the last couple of tears when i felt like i belonged somewhere every moment i feel like i dont really have a place in this world i know it sounds really teenagery but  i hoped it would get easier as i grew up and it just got worse  all relationships i have seem fake to some degree life is looking pretty pointless,3.0
45763,daniel was exceedingly tough through shots and four stitches the worst part  hearing hes out of baseball for  days ,2.0
45764,ouch my laptop is hoot waridoo hp this smoke gotta be controlled gt pure water plz  lol  ps i miss a niggur  sniff ,0.0
45765,idc if anyone never sees this im just venting holy fucking shit ive never wanted to die so fucking much in my lifefunny thing is i cantno matter how much of a bitch my mother can be i still love here and i would never put herself through that amount of pain i couldnt be a bad example to my little brother and sister and i want my niece to grow up with an uncle thats old enough to buy her gifts and be nice no matter how fucked up i am internally i dont want my sister to go through even more considering shes going through a rough patch also my grandmother needs taking care of shes  and very senile and im one of the only ones there for her i never want to cause my roommate whos also my best friend painjust as importantly i dont want to hurt my current girlfriend just the other day i had to talk her out of overdosing on pills and for the rest of the night she just hugged me and i dont even want to think about what shed do to herself if i offed myself i dont want to hurt anyone by killing myself no matter how much i want to go through with it i know ill hurt so many people and i dont want that i want everyone on this whole entire world to be happy and me to be sad even if it means that they give all their hardships to me one of the ways i can keep the people close to me happy is staying alivei have to do it for themim sorry i bored you but i needed to get it out of my system my winter break finishes on sunday this week and i dont want a mental breakdown as soon as i start school againthank you so much for readingi love you all ♡♡♡,3.0
45766,fuuuuuuuck i accidentally changed a camera shot onair this morning  fail,2.0
45767,not all men look good in pink but cav wears it well   giro,0.0
45768,my fav thing about twitter is barging in on ock conversations ,0.0
45769,me wanna know my section already   ,0.0
45770,no concerts or gigs until october when i see bring me the horizon how depressing ,2.0
45771,free from uni at least for now im quite sad my hubby is leaving though ,2.0
45772,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
45773,javajunky that grill looks awesome mine is small and lame ,2.0
45774,i basically have no friends i dont have massive issues talking with people i just have massive issues connecting with people near all the people i connected with have moved out of my life or stepped caring about me i try to look for new friends online but when i try no one is interested in me or im not interested in them i just play world of warcraft and overwatch by my self all day i feel terribly lonely and depressed,3.0
45775,orangetim has been spared the drun k call poor juzzash got it tonight ,0.0
45776,rt davidpriess reality check from maxboot it is not okay for the president and his minions to work with a foreign power to influence a,0.0
45777,marysierra  whats good,0.0
45778,rt huffpost he restored my faith in humanity said one resident whose  horse was rescued by tucker zimmerman youre not jus,0.0
45779,so i found a list i made of my good qualities about a year ago and i laughed when i saw open on the list ,0.0
45780, thanks  it was good  and i topped it off with a spin class this morning for an hour too hot to be out today i think,0.0
45781,disappointed ,2.0
45782,xroseyposeyx ikr but now hes dead and steve will have to go to gaol and now their relationship will be over ,2.0
45783,lilmoxey yay for fullterm ,0.0
45784,  tonightfemme fatale  redcircle rsvp  clublistnowcom or reply here w names guestlist free   ,0.0
45785,jsaputo nice to see you on twitter mom  ,0.0
45786,cant stop crying todaybreaking dawn ,2.0
45787,fuck  having finalsbig ass bummer ,2.0
45788,fuck do you ever just want to cry but you cant because you dont want to seem vulnerable,3.0
45789,i fucking wanna kill myself once i graduate ive been single for the vast majority of college and regardless of anything theres nothing i can do to change that anymore first off ive been single for most of my life anyway i was single for all of high school until the final month and ive only been in a relationship twice since then and it never lasted longer than two months at most im  now i fully believe that had i been murdered or successfully committed suicide while i was in high school things would be so much better im starting to remember death for what it is which is the ultimate freedom life is suffering life is evil life on earth is evil humans are evil and the societies humans have created are all evil life and living on earth is horrific and awful having the awareness of a human is a curse to be human is to suffer not only emotionally and physically but logically and existentially too therefore the only way to escape suffering for humans is simply death now me i have a year here left the odds that ill somehow meet someone in defiance of the last three years are slim and basically none i know how people feel about confidence but i just no longer care im alone because of bad choices ive made before and either way i cant change my past so all i can really do is try controlling my future and since ill always be alone and never be loved and dont want to live with that controlling my future really means saving up to buy a handgun and shoot myself in the back of the head but anyway before that ill give myself a year if im still single once i graduate i really hope i kill myself im thinking about buying a handgun after saving from a summer job just so i can either kill myself after graduation or maybe even before then if i just do it as a spur of the moment type thing dying would truly end my mental suffering and id rather kill myself than do therapy again and id definitely rather die than enter the real world completely alone so i could spend the rest of my life as an isolated alienated wage slave who just has nothing inside them because my youth is gone and im dead inside and even if i somehow magically meet someone it means nothing because adulthood is just suffering and emptiness and those relationships are empty and subservient to work anyway,3.0
45790,jeyowenji i have anorexic tendencies ,0.0
45791,cannot kill myself so far although i truly believe its the right thing to do hey i dont see any point in life anymore im a broken unfixable person reallyand when i say death is the best solution thats what i truly believe i dont say its a nice solution but the most honest onehowever i have the problem that i just cannot kill me so far i do not fear death itself but the moments before the emotional and especially physical pain when youve not lost consciousness yetdo you have some tips it may sound strange but every time i read that someone committed suicide i feel even more bad because they managed to do it and i am just a waste of atoms i can just exist please give me the power to finally end it myself,3.0
45792,hahahaha so many of my friends have twitter and i didnt even know ,0.0
45793,jodiaceva  thank you so much i love my helpful twitter friends ,0.0
45794,marykir if you use it a lot it makes sense if only once in a while its a luxury and you could put a new dvd and popcorn inside ,0.0
45795, no that was thnksfrthgrg  hes coming to welly for ock meeting,0.0
45796,hello all new followers ,0.0
45797,watching iron chef mario batali vs jamie oliver  this will be interesting ,0.0
45798,if anybody cares to read this i dont know if this is the right place to post this but i need to get this off my chest i have been struggling very hard lately to find  meaning in life everything has just seemed so miserable lately the world just seems to be falling apart but all i can do is look on totally numb to it i feel like everything  i do or say just leads to some negative outcome its like i am damned if i do something or damned if i dont my friend has been struggling with really bad depression lately too i wish i knew how to help him but i cant even help myself i feel so freaking hopeless right now i feel like i have no one to turn to and no where to go i dont want to vent all my frustrations on  my family or friends i have one friend who listens to me but i know its hard for him to sit through it all i honestly wish my thoughts would just shutdown im not a suicidal person and thats not where im going with any of this i just wish i had some guidance or way of getting over this time in my life a little motivation would be nice too,3.0
45799,tedvart clever ideas  had to get my girlfriend to translate  ,0.0
45800,papalazarou that made my ears and my eyes very sad ,2.0
45801,is missing kristenwill you get home already ,2.0
45802,need to power through hey guyspicked the wrong year to get my shit togetherim a phd student and have been going through depression since my teen years  now and ive gotten everything under control over the past year working out regularly some rough patches but mostly goodsince the shit hit the fan ive been working on like  different projects some of which covid related including a testing project thats diagnosing people super important work helping physicians make informed decisions saving lives yadda yaddasounds important and exciting right yeah ive completely lost any drive to do any of it everything is such a struggle even basic tasks like showering and eating right back to square one mental health wise but i know i gotta power through even for a few more weeks i know i shouldnt be burning myself out and stuff but these feel like exceptional circumstances where i need toso how do i burn myself out,3.0
45803,fallofthewild aww wtf  what time,2.0
45804,vickytcobra cause that would make sense boo weird holla guys i hear you though ,2.0
45805,going to the senior dinner dance ,0.0
45806,wwwmyspacecomclaireclarke     check her out ,0.0
45807,rt jakewpmi incredibly sad image from redding california 📷 john kassell stormhour ,2.0
45808,twisuz i know ,2.0
45809,leonaward make the most of it its gonna rain on friday ,2.0
45810, everyone ive ever sent from the sea to has really liked it haha yea  so i guess your party is now in honor of both ,0.0
45811,ok then im officially in a long distance relationship ,0.0
45812,up and down this whole process of recovery just feels like a seesaw i can never get off of no matter how high or good i might get it just crashes back down and the higher i go the more effort it takes and the more painful and inevitable the crash theres only one way off this ride thanks brain you serotonin deprived lump,3.0
45813,i feel like the guy from memento im gonna have to start tattooing myself just to remember stuff ,2.0
45814,larissaione   well i know itll certainly be a usa today best seller lol  youre awesome,2.0
45815,aww poor stacey ,2.0
45816,insearchofnkotb yay  i will be glued to my blackberry  yall have my number too  ,0.0
45817,happily buzzed ,0.0
45818,if no one brings justice to innocent peoplethen i hope nkorea destroys are entire race tomorrow  i sound so evilohwell,0.0
45819,beachbarista she is you smarty you ,0.0
45820,after finishing this past weeks sytycd show in vegas i noticed that they were in like the  casinohotel that we did not go in ,2.0
45821,quotthis version of the iphone software  is the current versionquot im so impatient now im going to have to wait until after work  ,2.0
45822,whats the one reason your living for right now definitely think this weather has made me more depressed also could be the fact that ive been homeless these past couple of months im really struggling with doing small things and ive been ill for  months straight now im just very very tired and i hope life gets a bit better for me my mum is the reason why i dont do something stupid,3.0
45823,job app search was very sucessful after my napwatching walle i will fill out ten of em yay go me unemployment you will soon end ,0.0
45824,sunday off taking it easy ,0.0
45825,karasaysso lol  i know ,0.0
45826,rt khiefceefs your wcw sleeps a lot but gets things done shes emotional and greedy but cares about your well being and mental health i,1.0
45827,i woke up with a sore throat this morningblah ,2.0
45828,kat is making fun of me ,2.0
45829,wohoo i bought my graduation dress yesterday love from the first sight ,0.0
45830,rt  the thought of being a  year is giving me anxiety,2.0
45831,when i thought i was getting better i got kicked back down after years of misery loneliness selfhatred etc things finally started to look up i was making steady money between  jobs im about to fully pay off my car ive been making time to hang out with my closest friends and even saved up enough to build my own pc after going through a shitty breakup a little over a month ago i decided to try tinder again the first person i swiped was this cute girl who seemed to actually have a personality it was a match a couple minutes were talking back and forth and we moved over to snapchat a couple days later we talked on the phone for about  hours it was great and she ended up being a blast to talk to the next morning i texted her and didnt get a response as of this post its been about  days and i sent one more text  still nothing i dont know if im being unreasonable but this really fucked me up for some reason the last two days have been a downward spiral of hating myself and having no drive to do anything i just stare at my monitor and count down the hours till i have to go to work again the suicidal thoughts that kept me from getting sleep for the majority of my life have returned i keep randomly just breaking down mentally throughout the day the awful memories of highschool i kept at bay slowly destroying all the work i had done to improve myselfi dont want to tell this to anyone im close with so here i am,3.0
45832, oh yea i plan on it its supposed to be high as  today  hope you have a good day too ,0.0
45833,its going to be  degrees f today i think ill make a chicken tagine  altho doing it in the crockpot so i dont use oven for  hrs,0.0
45834,i dont know what else to do umm so yeah im thinking about maybe trying to end it all tonight i think i am going to chill for a couple of hours and then do it i dont know i feel like i shouldnt even be having problems because i got a really supportive and great family and friends but i still feel exhausted and i hate everything so much ive been feeling like this for so long and i really feel like its never going to get any better for me and everyone is always like oh you are not alone in this everyone else is just as lost and stressed as you are but everyone else is putting in so much effort to make everything better and at this point i just feel like im just too damn lazy to do anything i dont even have an excuse this is  my fault i really wasnt ready for any of this i just wish i could relax for like a few days without worrying about anything sorry this is all gibberish ,3.0
45835,is not impressed by the forecast weather for glast ,2.0
45836,im packing for ibiza and have no clue what to take arggh i need help ,2.0
45837,ahhhhhh too early ,2.0
45838,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
45839,done playing with ableton for today will continue tomorrow it is time for some more sun ,0.0
45840,kaitcoaching kaitlyn girllll you were my fav and so funny and brought all the entertainment i was sad you evicted ,1.0
45841, ugh ,2.0
45842,midtownlunch loads of beard papas have disappeared in the uk too ,2.0
45843,wtf  ned beat eng in  wordlcup opener  man i need some subscription to watch the worldcup ,2.0
45844,quottoday was a gouwd dayquot leighanne ,0.0
45845,laniberms i cant  i have to go to my uncles viewing tonight in west covina tell him happy bday for me,2.0
45846, alright cant wait ,0.0
45847, my other brothers sick,2.0
45848,thisisoursinfo cool did you make a funny face at the camera  ,0.0
45849,follow me ,0.0
45850,a spider crawled down my monitor i have this thing where i scream when i c a spider then i tried  kill i missed dnt knw whr it went ,2.0
45851,sittin eatin lunch in the sun ,0.0
45852,lynnesharpe vet has described buttons as a miracle cat and he doesnt want to see him for another  months  ,0.0
45853,i couldnt write an exam because of anxiety now i cant get a sick leave because of anxiety my mum says she doesnt give a fuck anymore im gonna fail the year im  and i hate my life,3.0
45854,biarios i dont like surf cuz i remember dougie ,2.0
45855,go see the hangover now soooo funny ,0.0
45856,rt jaaaazzzzyboo im big sad,2.0
45857,sharonmc great the transplating worked  i think im too heavy handed with the roots when i do it a lovely memory ,0.0
45858,lissical allergies suck sorry there wasnt much the dr could have done  hope you get to feeling better soon,2.0
45859,setting up my phone to twitter  someone please twitter me  please  ,0.0
45860,packing back up ,2.0
45861,interesting perspective on fish oils for people taking them for brain health httpraypeatcomarticlesarticlesfishoilshtml ampnbspsome other linkshttpraypeatcomarticlesarticlesunsaturatedfatsshtmlhttpraypeatcomarticlesarticlesunsuitablefatsshtmlhttpswwwalexferguscomblogpufastheworstthingforyourhealththatyoueateveryday ampnbsp,3.0
45862,just got home from work ,2.0
45863,going to bed now  thinks i twitter way too much,0.0
45864,i ended a relationship for my depression  im writing this down so i dont forget this moment not sure if itll do any good to put it out on the internet i just broke up with the first person ive ever loved internalized homophobia depression and my familys dysfunction played a role but ultimately i am responsiblethis weekend i watched my hero turn into someone i despised and it traumatized me i responded by intoxicating myself and saying some irreversible things for the sake of selfdestructioni couldnt bear being responsible for hurting people especially someone i loved so dearly my first gay relationship gone incredibly smoothly until now i dont think i can recover from this depression i may kill myself ,3.0
45865,rt mourblx retweet if youreboredstupidexcitedhappyuglybeautysadsmartfamoussillyhandsomeretardedbetrayerpot,1.0
45866,my partner of  years passed away this happened so suddenly i never could have imagined him doing what he did he died april  and i was the last person to speak with him i remember he was scared because what he was doing could kill him i urged him to go to the hospital but he insisted he was okay i didnt think twice about it ive always trusted his word but fuck i should have pushed him more to seek medical attention prior to this i already have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression as was he but we helped each other he was my rock and absolutely everything we promised each other we wouldnt leave each other yet he left me in this fucked up world alone i have absolutely nobody now im so tired and sick of people dying on me i miss him so much im so depressed i feel numb and act as if i were happy im not sure if its cause im traumatized but i cant express my actual feelings its like it masks itself without me doing anything  i need help but i dont want it anymore i talked to my mom about it and she got frustrated with me and pretty much told me to be grateful i dont do drugs he died of an overdose my heart is heavy and weeps for him i will probably walk this world alone until i finally get the courage to end it,3.0
45867,my exams went well but its learing time again shit ,2.0
45868, my photo thats going to hang in the good life café in park rapids mn ,0.0
45869,it shouldnt have to be like this ,2.0
45870,philbridler  nom nom damn this  twitter world sometimes my imagination just doesnt cut it ,2.0
45871,willknott  i love those sport posters  trivia  my club are running the horsey course in greenwich on foot tmw  park closed  ,2.0
45872,luckily im not going to ,0.0
45873,madmarlz ill pm you back on tnu ,0.0
45874,itd be shitty if they did that then water ballooned thr gym ,0.0
45875,shopping with jordy ,0.0
45876,i added a video to a youtube playlist  wo ladki bhut yaad aati hewhatsapp videosad romentic song,0.0
45877,chelzbellz cant wait i could use a nice escape from reality for a few hours ,0.0
45878,what the heck i dont deserve this crap ,2.0
45879,billt thats the best way to start any given week long may such optimistic feelings continue ,0.0
45880,efff i burned the first  cupcakes argh i hope i dont burn the next ones and that  is enough ,2.0
45881,didnt get to talk to my girl  gahh bed time,2.0
45882,purplenuva btstwt idk if u found out yet u prolly read the other reply but thyungs grndfather recently passe ,2.0
45883,britishjam wasnt the same with you not in it today ,2.0
45884, where were youu hahaa my only friends here  haha lmaooo this thing really is popular but i sitll cant figure comethings out,2.0
45885,why dont we just call this day  as indexing most definitely does not start at  ,0.0
45886,feeling pretty good after an hour in the aquatic centre bit worried that ill be aching like a bitch in a bit though ,2.0
45887,bobbinrob ouch that sucks i hope it passes soon ,2.0
45888,sick at six flags  not fun its so hot,2.0
45889, ive been depressed as long as i can remember lets say since age  im  now my father was abusive all throughout my childhood he was never really present in my life i cant remember a single life lesson my father taught me i cant remember a single time he seemed remotely proud of me let alone told me he was i know for a fact he has never told me he loves me he used to beat me until i was around the age of  mostly me but i had witnessed him beat my mother my sisterall of that was just for some context  heres the part i need your help with  my mother she has worked  hours a week since she left highschool she raised two kids she has an he isnt all too bad anymore just absentnonchalant abusive husband who she spent most of her life in fear of all of this means now she is mid  with no close friends no real hobbies zero social life and zero motivation at all basically i see my mother and she is the embodiment of depressed works all day comes home watches tv repeat literally it kills me to see it i spend a lot of time with her but i feel that its not enough  particularly because of the way i feel i cant possibly make her happy when i cant be happy myselfwhat the fuck do i do,3.0
45890,joeyfeldman it was soooo good  now  im on to a more liquid diet ,0.0
45891,weak pathetic people mental health therapists say trump anxiety disorder on the rise  httpstcoohfimptyhu,2.0
45892,also after sleeping for  hours just now i dreamt i was dating the married timheidecker  it was scandalous but so hot im awful ,2.0
45893,stresseating,1.0
45894,elliotellsworth i made my sister listen to paparazzi because of patricks sex noises her eyes went oo  your reference reminded me ,0.0
45895,petespencer not as they think they are they are big here but alot of people dont like their arrogance ,0.0
45896,bad day woke up felt so agitated and now ive just been fighting the urge to cry all day for no reason dont want to get up dont want to talk to people havent eaten i know going to the gym will probably help but i feel so gross and insecure hope everyone else is keeping their heads up ,3.0
45897,explaining depression to a partner i recently started living with my boyfriend after doing long distance he has no idea about depression and anxiety at all hes never felt anything like that or been around people who have had it im unsure how to explain things to him and want some help explaining how it all kind of works if that makes sense things like he doesnt understand that i dont always have a reason why im sad just anything to help explain it to him or how he can help me from another persons experienceperspective anything will help at this point thank you,3.0
45898,i skyped with aly for almost an hour this morning its her birthday ,0.0
45899,an escape from reality recently ive experienced some turbulent situations in my life and have been struggling on and off with distressing and dare i say depressing thoughtsi have multiple perceptions about the cause for my stress ranging from school social expectations future outlook and more more recently though ive begun to develop a new perception which seems more aberrant in nature in comparison to the ones aforementionedi believe it formed out of an initiative to educate myself and maintain a consumption of information in a variety of topics including the state of our government the great political debates and world issues the more ive come to learn about the state of our country and even world the more distressed and unmotivated ive becomeone could describe this recent perception as a manifestation of nihilistic belief fueled by the hierarchy of issues that we face as humans individually we fight to represent our opinion in the world and propose solutions to adhoc issues however looking at the bigger picture you consider these issues and identify the relationships between them soon it no longer seems like these proposed solutions or ideologies are as effective as they are perceived to be and it is just a cyclical system of problems that repeats its degenerative processes constantly regardless of which part you look to improvenow it seems like the possibility of a dystopian future is no longer so far fetched and could very well be a probable outcome i feel as though humans will always be the precursor that leads to destruction wherever we reside a level of entropy is maintained i want to feel as though these are not things that i should be thinking about especially at such a young age but it seems as though the things we do in life that are not uncommon like starting a family finding a job establishing financial security developing your social life and such are no longer worth it because in the end all that awaits you is death you may have lived a fulfilling life believing that you sated your civil obligation as human being and left behind a meaningful legacy but in reality we all forgetat some point down the line your relevancy no longer holds the power it once did and is for naught what we do now the life we are expected to live or at least the trend that has formed through our lifetime as a race does not seem to matter because there is no greater purpose we are our biggest debilitating factor i had always wondered what spurred my want to use mind altering substances  i had believed it to be a result of an introverted lifestyle however now it appears to me as though i do not want to live in this reality this is not a testament of suicide no but an epiphany i think i dont remember or at least i choose not to pay attention to these thoughts in my mind because i almost always forget the reasons that i formulate for my depressionforgive me for the scatter brained thoughts my head is all over the place and the gravity of these thoughts weigh on my heart,3.0
45900,feeling down today ,2.0
45901, baby strampelt fast im takt new soul  yael naim,0.0
45902,velvet underground  venus in furs httpbitlyihxjp  ahhhhh ,0.0
45903, no  apparently its not a good idea blah,2.0
45904,is it normal to feel worse before better when starting antidepressants ive tried a lot of different antidepressants ssri snri tca wellbutrin as well as abilify latuda lamictal stimulants and more and they all just end up making me feel worse  i cant make it past a low dose and four weeks  maybe im just giving up too soon  i just dont think i have the strength to push through it especially knowing it might not ever work  in fact every time i discontinue my mood temporarily improves above my baseline and i feel great but that only lasts for a few days and then i am back to normal depressed me  i feel like i am running out of options,3.0
45905,errricuh id only get one if i even get one i think id look horrible with millions of lip piercings ,2.0
45906,i feel like im so behind in life and everything is pointless hi hope youre doing well herei have struggled with depression and anxiety for  years now and although sometimes it seems to get better i always relapseright when i was about to start university  years ago my parents got a messy divorce and i had to move with my mom to a new city where i had no friends it really took a toll on me and i lost my confidence i was never super confident but i was capable of things i had good grades i was sure i was gonna have a decent future it all changed though and today im so insecure and self conscious about everything that i started to avoid situations just so i dont embarrass myself its been  years and i still dont have my degree actually it was supposed to take  years and i have only passed about  year and a half of it in total its so fucking ridiculous im european so studying isnt expensive compared to places like usa but having a degree is considered prestigious everywhere in the worldi just dont believe in myself and the more it takes for me to finish my degree the more anxious i feel because im so behind all my friends im ashamed to admit im still studying when im with them because i feel like an absolute failurei have no motivation to study and i think that at this point even if i did finish my degree in the next  years i wouldnt even be proud of it because i would have taken like twice the time i was supposed toplease help me i feel so bad my dad says hes ashamed of me and has to lie to his friends bc their children have already finished their degreesi feel like ill never finish mine and i just lost another semester i feel like its useless to expect something different from the next semester because im always the same shit,3.0
45907,pastorkayte if you need help setting up a press release let me know i can send you some info and links ,0.0
45908,selenagomez i cant wait to see the movie i used to read the books when i was younger ,0.0
45909,douchebag im at a hockey game right now  thank you though im saddened by the lack of ds ones anyway,2.0
45910, it really doesnt  and your dreams are dumb,2.0
45911,evaruth i bet ur tired since you were up and tweeting early this morning ,0.0
45912,i dont like doing anything anymore i really dont know whether it is depression or not because it doesnt feel like im sad about anythingi just cant seem to do anything unless im forced to do i used to play guitar and piano now even thinking about picking them up feels useless even when i force myself to pick them up i cant continue for long im an computer science undergrad i used to love doing coding and learning data science and all but i just cant finish anything i start anymore i used to love playing games skyrim being among my favorites yet now every game i start i feel its just useless and dont continue playing anymore i almost feel everyday that ive given up on life i dont do anything im in my early  and belong from middle class family and feel very pressurized because of the responsibities i will start getting after a few years i everyday try forcing myself to do something but always end up giving up everything i doalso im new here in reddit sorry for any mistakes ive done in typing or anything else,3.0
45913, anyone else here make themselves sad ive noticed i have this bad habit of making myself sad whenever reality doesnt meet my expectations like i go straight to the youre a loser type of selftalk and then i make myself depressed because of it thankfully im able to recognize it and stop it now but its a consistent issue with me anyone else go through this ,3.0
45914,oh you should hear my accent its terrible lol im pretty sure i have a youtube video of it somewhere see if i can find it lol ,0.0
45915,my life with autism and depression im in my  i and im high functioning autistic i suffer from depression anxiety adhd and dyslexia at the beginning of the year i was told by my case worker i would no longer receive partial disability because i no longer qualified under the new law and because of that i would not receive section  housing or food stamps as of april i am homeless my family are all drug addicts one of my brothers attacked me he tried to cut my throat when he was high i had him arrested the rest are on meth and crack i dont know what to do i have nothing and no where to go i havent spoken to people anyone in over a year i have zero friends i never been in a relationship i never had sex or even kissed a woman i never driven a car or been on a plane i never had a bank account or credit card i cant get a identification card or drivers license because my mom sold my social security card and birth certificate for crack when i was little it seems like all i can do is die cause i never lived i have nothing no one i am no one i cant even afford to live,3.0
45916,im alone i just want someone anyone to give me love or let me give it to them the girl i liked stopped talking to me for someone who she knew for maybe a day she said im ugly  even a friend ive lost pretty much everyone all of my friends left me because they said im annoying or too much to deal with i just want someone to rant to and joke around with how is that too much i mean theres my family but im basically verbally abused by them they dont help at all i feel alone i just need someone,3.0
45917,i deserve to lose the people i love i have amazing people in my life who go to the ends of the earth for me but i am constantly letting them down and being a disappointment no matter how hard i try to do my best for them and be the best for them i let them down my best friend who is always there for me no matter what i keep disappointing him and he says he knew with my depression what he was letting himself into and that he would never leave me but i think this will be the final straw and i feel like he deserves so much better than me but at the same time if i lose him it will destroy me,3.0
45918,oh mans i hope im not too late  happy birthday deanjrobinson ,0.0
45919,singing u mke me so excited amp i dnt wanna fight it i start to blush you are my sugar rush shet ako ay kinikilig hahaha ,0.0
45920,agnewsdei when can we hear it links ,0.0
45921,oh crud one of the ridemakerz remotes are broken  we didnt test before we left they were so packed hope i can order one or something,2.0
45922, no sadly i dont have an iphone ,2.0
45923,is at work  ,2.0
45924,started taking lamotrigine xr today for those of you who take it hows your experience been also did you feel anything after the initial  days,3.0
45925,am feeling soooo ill ,2.0
45926, ahaha revel  i just had some revels its such a gorgeous day im sunburnt though  xx,2.0
45927, depression naps are fun httpstcordgtclsngu,2.0
45928,i have no need for twitter anymore tonight    says goodbye to twitterforever ,2.0
45929,finals are over im a junior hopefully lol jk jk ,0.0
45930,gpelz its going great glad im doing it ,0.0
45931,xxsimonex refolex said ,0.0
45932,what time does the nail place close moms is quottoo busyquot to talk im almost ready to go but i havent gotten a definite yes ,2.0
45933,listening to samantha james on pandora radio    its my other gmas birthday today,0.0
45934,she will give me when she realizes im going it still kinda hurt that sp from what i can tell took her side but i shouldnt asume things ,2.0
45935,jaketaustin hey jake ,0.0
45936,its starting all over again first post lately ive felt different i cant find a reason to do anything a while back i was doing okay with my mental health i had just starting feeling better then everything went downhill ive been staring at knives razors scissors anything and ive been fantasizing the way i could sh myself its getting bad and i feel like i cant go to anyone im seeing a counselor but im way to paranoid to open up to them completely i really want to get help because i want to be normal i dont want to be sad anymore i wanna go back to when i was doing okay i dont want these sudden outbursts of joy only to feel worthless afterwards i want to be able to feel loved again and be loved by someone im so tired of being lonely crying myself to sleep and scratching at my arms and legs the only good moments in my life are when i cant feel anything at all really i wish i couldve never felt anything at all and honestly i dont want anyone to feel the way i do because it really hurts but then again there are times i so desperately want everyone to feel the hell i go through it sounds so selfish i know but deep down id never wish that even the worst person in the world would have to endure the miserable hell i have started putting myself through i feel like i deserve to feel this wayya know,3.0
45937, free wine tastings  our biyearly trips have totally paid off,0.0
45938,lameymacdonald will dothe commissoned piece got a bit to go but will give you the nod ,0.0
45939,kprof just wanted to say you are one of my fav feis musicians after this wkend in indy  you destress me while i am on stage thats hard,0.0
45940,biggtim oh damn  thats so awful those poor people,2.0
45941,shit i just searched for google on google  now ive killed the internet,2.0
45942,bellothika  the flowers grow  ,0.0
45943,i asked my dad if i cud get a horse now instead of a calf and he said when i learn to ross a road propley ,2.0
45944,the kids are excited and we are almost finished packing  but now i have a headache ,2.0
45945,yennu maybe i will  no ofcourse i will xd,0.0
45946,joeymcintyre that is the closest we are going to get joe had   to see you in australia coming from new zealand but aint gonna happen ,2.0
45947, fck the free worldlolls i wanna cuddle  how do i fix this,2.0
45948,it´s raining again also back to work tomorrow  no more vacation ,2.0
45949,rochelleveturis glad youre amused by my commentary   ,0.0
45950,how do you get and keep a jobcareer while depressed im about to graduate from community college in web development and ive been struggling to just finish off school despite my depression being at a peak now that im sure i can at least graduate though not with the best grades im starting to think more about actually getting a job while depressedit seems that most people would generally not mention it to potential employers would you bring it up for an employer with agressive hr policies for accomodating people with disabilities i live in ontario canada and at least on paper people with disabilities are protected from discrimination in the workplaceeven with legal protections i cant wrap my mind around an employer being so accomodating that theyd let you take weeks off at a time because of depressiondoes working parttime help can you effectively freelance while depressedjust curious as to how people manage to survive  maybe even thrive  while feeling this way i want to just sit in my room and play video games,3.0
45951,mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany mcflyforgermany ,0.0
45952,kidb thanks again for coming out to support us  you rock,0.0
45953, are you planniing for a bigger one over the weekend or just being good   ,0.0
45954,rt blacknkhata sad truth ,0.0
45955,is trying to revise for her maths exam but it isnt going well ,2.0
45956,shreveport this week for  nola next week for wills weddingahhh time away from manager mode  now off to manager mode ,2.0
45957,tired of being tired i am tired tired of always getting hit with bad luck left and right first it was getting scammed out off all my money only to then lose my my rent money from a pos ex friend and now im about to be homeless within the week i cant win anymore and im tired of it i just want it to stop for the time to stop to process this,3.0
45958,am i a bad person sorry for engl not a native english speakerhello thereim a young male just so that i can be considered an adult and i still go to high school im not very popular over all but i  have a group of friends that like me and are really nice to me im a smoker and thats an important part of this story have been smoking for almost a year now not wanting to quit i have to say back to the story i dont have a gf at the moment i had one over a year but we recently broke up over some issues not gonna get into this one but except from the male group of friends i also have some female friends and this story is about one of them we were very close friends and we also had some kind of romance in the past but then she left for a year to study in the us and we then havent talked since because it was awkard after i fcked up a bit and it was absolutely alright for her to not talk to me but when she returned we started to rebuild our friendship it was rough the first half of the school year but then after she sent me a merry christmas and a new year wish we started talking a lot again and it was awesome i really liked her company and we eventually started hanging out not like rushing into any relationship because i still had a gf at the moment and even then after we broke up i decided not to rush into any other relationship soon but we had a really great time together many many times she knew i was smoker and never really cared i havent smoked in front of her and it was fine yes i do not smoke in front of people that i know dont like it so she knew i do smoke and i knew she didnt like it but i though as long as i dont smoke in front of her everything would be fine one night we were talking via phone and we had a little bit of conversation on the smoking topic she asked some questions about me and how i began smoking and so on i answered all of them truthfully because i thought we were good friends enough for her to understand my reasons and not caring that much and appeareantly i was wrong after she heard my story on how i began smoking she compleatly stopped responding and talking to me i was surprised and a bit shocked but i was thinking that she just needs to sleep a bit and well be fine wrong again she hasnt spoken to me the next day at all amd even when i asked something she would barely respond to anything for the context i consider myself to be a good person im mostly nice to other people i do get angry quite easily but i have my manners and i have never been anyhow aggreaive towards her and im nice to my friends i really enjoy helping them if there is anything i can do and i try to be a good friend to everyone are you lost yet well lets continue so even though i consider myself a good friend to her she just stopped all the contact with me later on we had a bit of a discussion about it and she said she needs some time i said sure ill give you as much as you need but i have to say it really hurt me i really enjoy being around her and spend time with her and even though she knew i was smoking before after this conversation she started to ignore me and i keep asking the one question is the fact that im smoking making me a bad person is it that big of a deal having a bad habbit even if youre over all a good person what gives other the right to say im a bad person over something so trivial im really sad now so sorry if that doesnt make any sense i just wanted to write it somewhere,3.0
45959,would really love to transplant myself back into the morganville world but havent been able to get carpe corpus yet ,2.0
45960,emaestas assuming i know which haircut youre talking about the answer is quotdont say anythingquot ,0.0
45961,it does get better thought i can do it just a little more i am almost there you know what i dropped school months befor final exam i need to repeat a year and take the exam next year stopped talking to nearly all my friends i thought my familly hated me i starved myself didnt wash for weeks got job drop it after two months got another dropped after  m i wasnt able to take care of myself slept all days or weeks tring to forget my problems via alkohol sex etc and then my mother suggested she would pay for my therapy so i tried going and dropped it i also went simultaneously to psychiatrist and they would try to find medicine that would help the third one was the right one and at that time i came back to the therapist ive made a daily task list for me like wash your teeth and face eat at least twice a day do one productive thing i still feel awfull most of the time but i am able to do numerous task during a day i can have a day plan do stuff meet people enjoy myself out therei didnt think i was even able to feel variety o emotions like i am feeling right nowmy point is that its hard but if youll work throught small steps you will do it i belive in you,3.0
45962,rt unclits im a chill person with a lot of anxiety,2.0
45963, thats the day of my bday party at my afterwork i know you have coctails w jessica so ill miss it ,2.0
45964,jackiepearce shes in africa  havent heard from her at all ,2.0
45965,rt dailypsychologq playing video games has been proven to relieve tension depression ampampamp psychological pain caused by emotional tr,2.0
45966,danielryan lol i made mine today and well im following ,0.0
45967,loving new york and listening to harry potter ,0.0
45968,welcome to hell ,0.0
45969,jillhw a very english name by trade a fear  and thanks  i enjoyed giving the presentation today on personal branding for consultants,0.0
45970,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
45971,ty all for following me this is for you  btwi tweet a lot if u cant handle it feel free to unfollow ,0.0
45972,stonernation soi won the  i just caught the message ,0.0
45973,i feel embarrassed after asking for razor blades in the store like a month ago i was so desperate to get a razor blades that i went to  stores and couldnt find them anywhere so i went to a store where my friend said you can get them and literally went up to a women who worked there and asked do you have razor blades maybe i cant forget the way she looked at me she replied with we do not have such things i shouldve left at that time but i was trying i was trying to make an excuse i hesitated and i couldnt say a word then just left the store the worst thing is that its a small store near where i live and i cant really avoid it when im leaving home i will never visit that store again it made me realize that it would be the best if no one knew a week later i bought razor blades and used them  times it didnt work i still have them cause i think its better when im able to cut myself but i dont want to then when i want to but i cant i dont want that story to happen ever again im probably just overreacting but for some reason i dont want people to know how i feel especially people irl cause i would have to look in their eyes and stuff  it would be amazing if you said something that could make me feel less embarrassed thanks,3.0
45974,going to the doctors ,2.0
45975,creacher congrats im still working on  ,0.0
45976,i have no one im not sure anyone will care to read this but here it goes i just need to get things off my chestmy depression has come back in full force i feel empty stuck and alone i have no one to talk to friends dont exist parents dont know what to say when it comes to my depression sibling relationship with my brother is nonexistent relationship with my boyfriend is in shambles with all of that i dont know where to turn all i want is to be able to talk to someone who understands what its like to go through life feeling the same way as me sadive tried talking to therapists but it just seems none of them understand ive been diagnosed with major depressive order and anxiety and given multiple prescriptions that dont seem to help zoloft prozac and lexapro to name a few all of them just seem to make me gain weight which just adds to my depression the fact that nothing helps me prescription wise also makes me feel as if i will never find my happiness again i just dont know what to do anymore i dont want to die my depression is not that badbut it has gotten there before i dont want to get to that place again so i thought id come to this subreddit in search of a person to talk to ,3.0
45977,i only feel happy when im gaming with my friends when im gaming with my friends i feel like nothing is wrong with me but then after we all log off i just sit there while the crippling loneliness hits me,3.0
45978,ancmowat gevening sirhow has your day been i didnt touch my puter last evening we were so busy  im happy  have my son home,0.0
45979,off for a motherdaughter mooch in cirencester and today im the daughter ,0.0
45980,why shouldnt i kill myself my life is full of problems and im exhausted from fighting again and again without a clear end im quite ugly i lately started to find a bit of peace with that but i just discovered that im starting to go bald and i feel worse than ever im possibly the last person on this planet who can pull up a bald look with my big pointy ears long but fat nose crooked teeth round and very asymmetrical faceapart from that im unintelligent compared to most people around me i always needed to study twice as much as other kids in my school only to get max average results on physical science classes i cant complete simple tasks without messing up and im always the type of person who says stupid things in a conversation as you can imagine this completely destroys my hopes for a good future career and its the reason i had to abandon my dream jobdoctorbecause i couldnt manage well with math and chemistry no matter how good i was in biologyand all these look so bad until you include my mental issues in which include social anxietyto whoever i talked to about this just told me to keep fighting but im honestly so tired of fighting fights i never win this is all im doing since i remember myself fighting but it ends up no where i thought that if i kept fighting i would start to receive things but what really happens is that life is taking more and more from me everytime i find the proper motivation i need to keep going something happens and it gets crashed together with my dreams together with the hopes i once had before they became ash when i burned them so i wont hurt so much when i see myself failing again and again i stopped looking for the many since long ago now i just want to be a normal person i just want to not get filled with disgust everytime i look myself into the mirror to be able to follow my dream job and to not be drowned in my mental issues im only  years old and ive received unlimited pain until now im justtired im thinking about suicide a lot lately i just wanna find peace but theres someone holding me backshes the sunshine on the darkness that has been following me since my birthwe are together for about a year now and all she does is making my life better she cares for me as much as no one ever cared and shes not afraid to show her love for me with every possible way i can see the woman of my life on her so she can see the man of her life on me but im afraid that life will take her too away from me and i will be left all alone excuse my english its not my first language,3.0
45981,megan refused his rose   ,2.0
45982,who wants to come cry at this party with me,2.0
45983,rt pressure depression never arrives aloneit brings along its friends despair selfinjury and suicidedepression is the invisible pl,1.0
45984,twitter thanks for the help ,0.0
45985,wolverine  awesome ,0.0
45986,morganwick ltanyone know if abc advertised next indycar race on versusgt that would require watching the commercials amp i wouldnt do that ,0.0
45987,ellifordyce  be welcome have a nice evening and good night  its late for me here see you soon ,0.0
45988,wondering how people can joke about suicide need to keep reminding myself that unless youve lived it you just dont get it ,2.0
45989,still sitting at beefs a bit bored with no one to talk to ,2.0
45990,shower then i will say my byeesssss  shaun smith to win britains got talent ,0.0
45991,i just got bit by a huge fucking spider in animal crossing ewww now i feel like i really got bit  i hate bugs,2.0
45992,they look like a goth band that sings about breakups the end of living and depression httpstcohhhnwvgikh,1.0
45993,the picture wont upload  it says it is to big even though i croped and croped ithelp,2.0
45994,kaytasticc i bet you are im gunna hide away in one of ur suit cases ,0.0
45995,tornadohunt i missed it  i was with my sister picking my dad up from the airport,2.0
45996,studing for my last exam for the semester ,0.0
45997,annmaryen get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
45998,alliecosmeticsx i have one on my ankle  its the start of summer,2.0
45999,im sick  so sad twitter world i was due for it anyway,2.0
46000,note to self put meetings on calendar or you will forget ,2.0
46001,maybe just maybe i should stop reading my eyes hurts ,2.0
46002,highly upset at the fact that  so flickin expensive and that  have no service ,2.0
46003,hesmylife i had like three but they involved derek ,2.0
46004,the stairs are behind me while i sit at the computer i was on webcam with a cute guy and my dad came down the stairs in his underwear ,2.0
46005,my twitter is broken   i want to delete so tweets but it wont let me people stop following me just cause i talked to joe and nick gt,2.0
46006,ashleytisdale have fun in germany ,0.0
46007,feeling empty hopeless where did this darkness come from i thought i had beat depression for good once i got into my s shit its been years since i have felt this bad over the last couple months the darkness came creeping in taking over every aspect of my life the things that used to fill me up and being me joy have gone away one by one leaving me with a giant empty void in my chest i pushed my friends away my heart hurts i feel empty tired guilty i spent hundreds of dollars on instruments because i thought music would help but it doesnt im useless a cancer why am i here how can i get out of here,3.0
46008,brazilianwns thank you so much for your help ,0.0
46009,mind mental health solutions to heal your mind and body as one httpstcordpjkmjglj,1.0
46010,danm i thought it was like   or something  the day has not even started yet ,2.0
46011,whats happens with habbo in the last  years wheres the old console ,2.0
46012,tweet tweet  off to the rock pitt   jst hangn out,2.0
46013,i ruined my body and i hate myself for it i need to get this out of my system about four years ago i became a wrestler everybody around me thought that id give up after a couple of weeks but i never gave up i trained three times a week and endured a week long wrestling summer camp where we trained three times a day a year later i went to a wrestling competition and ended up being second best in my city which is the capital of my country and i was extremely proud of myself after a couple of months i switched to a gym i drank whey every day and i was in peak form a year later many of my friends admired me i worked out for another six months before i started to slowly lose motivation i was half assing my trainings for a year and i made no progress then all of the sudden i stopped working out altogether depression devoured me and i started to eat only two meals if you can call them that a day lots of bad habits started and i turned into the type of person i used to hate a lazy fuck who doesnt do anything except lay in bed and feel sorry for himself right now im on the verge of being anorexic im back to being the skinny fuck who used to get bullied every day i really want to change but what if i slip up again ive been through a lot of shit in the last year and my mental state is so fragile at the moment i feel like even the slightest inconvenience might trigger my depression and make me lose my motivation again of course ill start working out again and try to be my best self but im scared it might happen again thank you for reading my rant ,3.0
46014,i cursing about mge ,2.0
46015, like always �� did they say something about coming to brazil ,0.0
46016,right time to repair bathroom after flood and also daughter pulled fittings out of wall  then lawns then buy boat cover,2.0
46017,rt kkayyleighh be a bad 🐝 not a sad 🐝 ,2.0
46018,can i talk to someone i am so stressed right now  things are really really piling up and everything is so overwhelming i feel like im worthless and its not worth trying to get help anymore i have no one to talk to the people i love are too busy for me or i cant talk to them right now thank you to anyone who reads this i hope your day is looking up ,3.0
46019,there was a duck family outside with  little fluffy ducklings yesterday i saw the mommy with only  duckling left ,2.0
46020,shopping in glasgow ,0.0
46021,ive been trying to update the blog but im to lazy lbp is fun but i have the old  gig witch doesnt have wifi ,2.0
46022, days until transformers  comes out im so exciteddddd  boombaybay i missed yu todayyyy ,2.0
46023,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
46024,caaakes tell x to email me pics officialshewgmail ,0.0
46025,oh manim freakn sore works gonna be hard    better make me toned,2.0
46026,his layout is giving me anxiety ,2.0
46027,following the governator now funny he has a twitter ok off to bed ,0.0
46028,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
46029,the future hubby and i are coming home this week ,0.0
46030,im getting a blackberry so i dont miss anything anymore still pretty bummed i missed the chance to win tix to gavin degraw ,2.0
46031,rt mightybusterbro   sonyacsa sad flotus trump has you so outclassedas a democrat running for congres,1.0
46032,downtownrob no problem  want to be in the tweet video we are shooting at the studio ,0.0
46033,rt theweirdworld the acronym for social anxiety disorder is sad,1.0
46034,hmm no holiday for me  oh well lotsa parties to attend might visit yall where is yall,2.0
46035,i feel like ill never be able to be a functioning person anybody else experiencing something similar title i feel like ive been trying for so long to adopt better habits and change myself for the better but every time i feel like i cant overcome the hopelessness and shitty self image i have i always feel like i talk a lot i say i have problems i want to fix but nothing ever comes of it people often say that admitting a problem is the first step but i cant seem to get out of step one the amount of sheer effort in improvement in working myself out of a depressive spiral and being a functioning human is too much to handle and because i cant do it like everyone else i must be weak or inferior in some way idk where im going with this i guess im feeling shitty again and im tired of unloading on the people close to me with nothing to show for it,3.0
46036,drinking a  god i feel like a house ,2.0
46037,katieli your tweet was just included in the longest poem in the world  ,0.0
46038,wickedground why has no one posted prompts im good at writing things but shit at coming up with the situation  ,2.0
46039,regyates happy birthday reg reg   hope you have a good day in america  alice x,0.0
46040,i dont know what to do anymore im having trouble finding any light in life right now im about to lose my job which i used to love very much i never thought that i would have to leave but now i gotten to the point that i cant stay anymore somewhere in my mind im thinking that i never will be able to enjoy work as much as ive been doing whereever i end up and in my current condition i dont think  i will get a job at alli hate not having a routine wakes up every morning with anxiety and not knowing what i will do for the dayi feel alone and dont have any friends to talk to about this there are some people i find amazing and i would love to become their friend but they dont seem to care about me at all and that hurts me so much it feels like something is wrong with me but i dont understand im not socially awkward or anything cuz when were hanging out they seems to like my jokes etci dont know  what else to say ive just been feeling really depressed these last couple of months and im kinda tired of feeling like shit everyday i just dont know how to get back up again,3.0
46041,lewisking worth a try i dont really want it that much apparently its not that good ,0.0
46042,  mai stiti aia cu mac tiny miam luat si eu o agenda tiny  sunt mult mai creativ pe ea,0.0
46043,bep  missing you   great song  ,0.0
46044,wah arrived manila last night lol i wasnt able to tweet before i left coz the pc broke down  anyway how are you guys m,2.0
46045,backstreetboys  i wanna go to your party ,2.0
46046,michellebranch awww i miss michigan ,2.0
46047,i dyed my hair and it looks almost the same ,2.0
46048,jinnyboy tt i wam go tooobut seem like nobody can go with mehaizmissed ,2.0
46049,chunkypooch awh friendthank you  it was good like our wee chats ,0.0
46050,lassi happy bday on monday bro be sure to check out pelaaja for live  updates ,0.0
46051,dannykurily aww poor danny  alexalltimelow must feel really bad i hope you feel better has it gotten any better,2.0
46052,enjoying my music as always ,0.0
46053,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,2.0
46054,rt cjordancute its been a depressing night on the internet for me i dont want to talk about it but im really sad right now i hope yo,1.0
46055, bahahahahaha lets hope irma or che dont find it first ill be praying for you ,0.0
46056,eeek crazy looking work plan for today maybe its a good thing the weather isnt so great ,2.0
46057, that is cool ,0.0
46058,home from a crazy day bleeeeah my stomach hurts    grrr,2.0
46059,rt btsmotivator dear you yes you who are reading this i know u say ure tired instead of sad you say ppl dont need you instead of s,2.0
46060,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
46061,i wish there was a happy pill so i could remember what being happy felt like its been so long since ive been happy i dont even remember what it feels like i wanna be able to enjoy things and have fun with friends without constantly having to worry about how im bringing down the mood and how nobody really wants me there,3.0
46062,lynnmaudlin the lord giveth ahnold and the dems taketh away  hhrs,2.0
46063,marcfennell not just you paul mcdermott definitely hasnt aged ,0.0
46064,lilyroseallen wow tokyo id love to go there ,0.0
46065,love how i just spent a ton of time deleting songs i never listen to from my ipod and its still over half full ,2.0
46066,just sprained my ankleperfect ending to a crappy  hour day at work ,2.0
46067,pipstar think you better put a couple of euros in the swear jar for using the dreaded  point  term ,0.0
46068,i am so tired but i want to write ,2.0
46069,anyone one got depression symptom reduced when they are sickfever from my  years of experience whenever i got sickfever my depression is reduced or even temporarily gone during my sicknessfever i think at that time that guy is the true normal me if not consider the sickness suffering i have read some book as your sicknessfever render you mind powerless to screw you up at those moment i wonder if this is true for all of us dont worry too much about me part of me have out of the depression lie,3.0
46070,nickjamesbxtch oh no  that sucks,2.0
46071,the kids and i took it easy today it rained off and on all day today im down in the dumps lately and i havent been able to get out ,2.0
46072,going to see tim minchin and bill bailey perform live  should be good    orangaid,0.0
46073,auntiestress i found a pure signal tonight    yup  name of poetwist,0.0
46074,another sunny day had fun last night saw some friends i havent seen in a while ,0.0
46075,tlwhitted aww mamaim sorry ,2.0
46076,staying in and hanging with the pups ,0.0
46077,i dont understand how some people can bash addicts calling them low lives among other things but then once one o ,1.0
46078,just got on ebay  must have hat,0.0
46079,struggling i cant remember the last time i went a full week without wanting to kill myself im constantly withdrawing from all friendships and ive basically ruined my relationship with my amazing girlfriend as well i feel isolated alone and broken ,3.0
46080, weekend was too short back to work on a sunday ,2.0
46081,alansanchez i seriously dont get facebook  wish i did ,2.0
46082,esse aqui é o meu tweet o site já pode fechar ,2.0
46083,mellissa i got cough ,2.0
46084,kirstywrites oh dear  neighbour locked herself out of her house this am i had to drive her to her sons workplace for his keys lol,2.0
46085,thekeithchegwin  keith its me ,0.0
46086,iis back homee boredd chillinq w qrandma  � ily granny ,0.0
46087,jessicaveronica you get like  followers a day i get  ,2.0
46088,omg i dnt feel like going to da movies ,2.0
46089,wowz depression and a fat ass blunt in this weather fucking smacks,2.0
46090,looks like its gonna be a crappy bday weekend ,2.0
46091,ricraftis get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
46092,dont wanna work today ,2.0
46093,piaguanio i watched eb a while ago and saw you with sum ube haha ,0.0
46094,i want another house marathon too bad i cant too much work to be done ,2.0
46095,claraelizabeth oh ohh  miss your face already  ,2.0
46096,ive had enough im done letting depression and anxiety control me im tired of not trying to move forward cause im scared that everyone is gonna judge me negatively because i decided to take a break from life while they kept moving on i want to be able to live and enjoy my life and not cry myself to sleep i want to be able to game and stream again without feeling guilty and telling myself i could be doing something productive like other people but instead im spending time on useless hobbies im tired of hating the world and everyone in it for something that a couple of people did to me in the past i want to be able to open up to people again i want to bring down the walls i put around myself so i could let people in i want to be better ill try to do everything in my power to get better by the end of this year thanks for letting me ventrant i dont really have anyone to tell this so i hope you guys didnt mind,3.0
46097,brunoleandrooo i know me tooo glad they won ,0.0
46098,doesnt know how much more geordie she can take ,2.0
46099,deaddenim oh no problem ,0.0
46100,misssamm chau me saludas a gndx ,0.0
46101,donniewahlberg my poor baby wiped out on a skateboard yesterday this is how hes comin  meet u on friday  ,2.0
46102,life changing magicplzzz see this i beg you hey u must look onto the youtube psilocybin mushroom saved my lifethen rsporetradersand shroomeryit helped me it might help you toou might also be interested in microdosingsee the youtube talk where waldman lsd microdosedmicrodosing a really good daystay strong,3.0
46103,shadowfish but id have to drive  or get a taxi do you have a pool tablejukebox,2.0
46104,i need a ride  to hang out with from   place to stay  and  to go  church wit me  bfs tryna roll out on me ,2.0
46105, just downloading it now icywill let you know what i think when i watch it ,0.0
46106,  my babies are the absolute loves of my life  theyre my heroes my idols nd by far my favourite people in  ,0.0
46107, hey malene im back  hv u had ur dinner already xx,0.0
46108, oh i miss it,2.0
46109,edited her plurk its so blue now  ,0.0
46110, haha nothing reallyi get to possibly meet a few vampires tomorrow and uhh im just hanging out rob pattz ahh ,0.0
46111,booksbyssjaxon poor little victoria cant astroturf for brock so you have to brockbot for her on the next shift aww thats so sad,2.0
46112,eagerly waiting for the gooogle wave launch this tool will surely change the way we collaborate and interact  googlewave,0.0
46113,i wonder if given the option to have  days how many people who take it  it could mean  extra hours of sleepor work  ,2.0
46114,rt  what fewer women in stem means for their mental health httpstcoxkckrwgots edchat edtech ,1.0
46115,snuggling with his hoodie does not suffice for having shampoocell here in bed with me  i miss my better half bad,2.0
46116, minutes till conan no joel this saddens me ,2.0
46117,just brought peggle for my ipod ,0.0
46118,goth chicks there is a reason we do not get in the sun sunburnt ,2.0
46119,sick and sad buu ,2.0
46120,thelane my fav choc is creme egg but dont think they could do that in an icecream ,2.0
46121,amygeneadams haha yes thats for sure  sorry i missed your bb msgwe were watching a movie,0.0
46122,rt friendstagram i love sleep you forget about pain problems stress everything for a while,2.0
46123,juneambrose indeed   ive been following your work since belly  everybody whos anybody knows youre superhaute,0.0
46124,im up breakfast consisted of orange juice and a little bag of mini choc fingers  done some revision already im on a roll today ,0.0
46125,fuck  stats is a bitch ,2.0
46126,does anyone have tips for a really bad day  ya know days when you get up and your mind doesnt want to cooperate with you  your body feels sort of okay but it feels like your brain is running at  processing power,3.0
46127,hopefully gonna walk around later ,0.0
46128,i feel like im regressing i am a  year old female diagnosed with major depression generalized anxiety and borderline personality disorder i am also getting some testing done because my counselor believes we may be missing something ie autism i am on wellbutrin cymbalta and abilify i have noticed in the past few years that im seeming to regress more and more it feels almost like dementia or something the symptoms im having include  memory lossdifficulty thinking and understanding my brain feels jumbled  slower movements  childish wonderexcitement  lost in thought very very often  noisecrowd sensitivities  fine motor skill troubles i never had any of these symptoms until the past  years i had a great childhood and was very very mature i really feel like im becoming stupider the only other thing i can think of is that i have a fairly large arachnoid cyst on my frontal lobe which the doctors have assured me wasnt causing harm thank you for reading this,3.0
46129,had a great day and is lovin life  goodnight,0.0
46130,why wont it stop i dont get it i try everyday live everyday one at a time i work my ass off in school make friends even had a girlfriend and it all fucking crumbles to nothing in the end i take these stupid fucking pills and for what i can never think clearly never know what i want i seriously dont know what to do anymore ive been nothing but a burden on my mother and father this entire time i have friends but i cant even go to them for support because im too scared to ive let this dark cloud control and destroy everything that has entered my life im in my car parked right now and i just dont know what to do or where to go i wanna run and drive far away,3.0
46131,goodnight must sleep for my adventures in oregon tomorrow byee ,0.0
46132,civilservant just found it i think  comes under womens hour not diary of an oncall girl ,0.0
46133,wishes that he would realize that i love him ,0.0
46134,rt shitreviews saddont be sad because sad spelt backwards is das and das not good😊 httpstcopjwjmdeity,1.0
46135,cuppy congratulations cuppy im also on a diet but not of my doing people in house are on weight watchers so i am too ,2.0
46136,not enough anymore ive always fought with suicidal ideals and the persistent thought of trying i always felt i was just okay enough to not do it but recentlypeople always asktell me to think about the good things the people that care about me and yes there are people who care about me and the thought of leaving them sad and grieving did stop me to not do it however i thought about it people always say to not live entirely for others so why do i have to not end it for others too i used to believe in it but now staying here for the potential prevention others suffering is not enough for me anymore im not enough for others for myself anymorewhy do i have to stay here if anyone is wondering whether this is related to the current global situation it really is noton a human to human level i do hope that people are getting through this situation the best they can,3.0
46137, the workeres said you would come out but you never did there were only  of us and we stood in the rain ,2.0
46138,at ups sending out these special pop packages ,0.0
46139,really lookin forward to kasabian tomorrow this has been  years in the making ,0.0
46140,wheres the sun gone ,2.0
46141,stinkin sun heat and humidity ,2.0
46142,josiejacobs upside down hearts on my calves so when my legs are in the air theyre right side up ,0.0
46143,que sad que le den tan pocas lineas a yuya teniendo una voz tan bonita y agradable,2.0
46144,im i the only one who looks back at there snapchat memories and gets sad because have the people aint your friend anymore,0.0
46145,i really wanna stay in bed ,2.0
46146,is thinking how home it would be to still be at nice ,2.0
46147,viennah yay im happy for you with your job but that also means less time for me and you ,2.0
46148,is still doing martin luther king project seems to be taking ages  x,2.0
46149,a naked light just tried to kill us by blinding kat as she drove it must be mad at me for something ,2.0
46150,is watching one of the funniest movies eversuperbadlol ,0.0
46151,savinthebees this cured my big sad,2.0
46152,you are the lines in my song the words that make me sing so what happens when youre gone would i still find myself singing ,2.0
46153,my poor poor lonely friend ,2.0
46154,fadeout all you have to do is have your boyfriend say something for me so i can hear his accent ,0.0
46155,thinks she may be out of it more than she realizes just put the electric tea kettle on the gas stove    fire  danger,2.0
46156,i need someone to see me and remind me that im okay im alone my grandpa died last week my exbest friend told me we need to cut contact for a month and im all alone in my house the person i would go to when im in a valley doesnt want to talk to me its something that needs to be done but it still is killing me im forgetting to eat and absolutely apathetic if anyone is reading this can someone tell me its going to end up okay tell me that ill find someone else that i can do cute things with and feel safe with and help remind me that life is more than an assembly line to death how do i learn to look at life as a single person again rather than from the context of how she would enjoy it thank you so much if you read this i want to know that im not alone ,3.0
46157,feeling really sick  going to bed,2.0
46158,band practice is being delayed due to church yard sale  arland thinks hes cool  ,2.0
46159,aww man shelby went to sleep ,2.0
46160,curating a list of  items by hand ,2.0
46161,its palm pre day  palm,0.0
46162,lowking i wish i was as low as the last time i thought i had reached my lowest point,3.0
46163,i dont know what to do ive been stuck for a while now i feel miserable all the time and im tired of it but i dont know what to do i have no goals or ambitions im  years old and live at home with my parents who were extremely controlling growing up they patronize me all the time and treat me like a child i didnt have any hobbies or interests i spent my childhood with tutors and test prep courses i was still rejected from every college i applied to including my realistic options because of i think disciplinary history and a lack of extracurriculars my parents really wanted me to go an aviation college to become a pilot for some odd reason i was against it and fought them but i didnt get into any of my schools and it was too embarrassing for me to go to a community college and transfer i went to the aviation school with no interest in aviation a few weeks in my first girlfriend of  years ended our long distance relationship which ended horribly because i was a drunk idiot and i became really depressed at that point i had just given up i was drinking my self to sleep regularly picked up old drug habits dropped out of the pilot program without telling my parents struggled in school and gained  pounds now im back at home going to a state school i have no friends or social life i cant sleep im exhausted all the time and still sad about my breakup which was over a year ago i tried an antidepressant and it was terrible so i stopped ive been seeing a therapist regularly for a few months but its not productive at all we basically just talk about my problems but not how to solve them i enjoy talking to her but its just not very helpful i was recently prescribed adderall for adhd which has helped me focus in school but everything just seems fake when im on it i feel like if i dont change something then ill just waste my life away and end up alone ive tried picking up hobbies but usually just end up getting bored after a few days ive lost all social skill and am very awkward around new people so making friends feels impossible my parents are the only people who i communicate with on a daily basis im completely lost in life and have no idea what im doing with my life i would appreciate any helpadvice alot  if you made it this far thanks for reading tldr im lonely sad still not over my breakup that was over a year ago socially awkward and my therapist doesnt help very much need advice ,3.0
46164,therealamber notmoira georgiacrafter morning hope your new week amp month get off to a good start ,0.0
46165,janole whats really a shame is that swiping leftright to move leftright through tabs isnt already baked into  ed ,2.0
46166,marcfennell saying you are not a stalker just makes you more of a stalker ,0.0
46167, theres always time for a movie ,0.0
46168,wish i was going tonight ,2.0
46169,cerv cancer jab today  i hope i dont like pass out,2.0
46170,joeymacsgirl  after summer tour u say  play two weeks in australia then we wrap it up� plz say its not true ,2.0
46171,my boyfriend expects too much out of me he denies it but the way he words things makes it seem like he expects me to turn off my depression and just be happy like its nothing i dont know what to do i wish i could be happier but at the same time i dont care enough about growing im not sure what to do im not sure why im posting maybe looking for unbiased help i dont know things have been bad for years way before i met him i dont know,3.0
46172,im so sad for him,2.0
46173,surfandsheds yes my poor eggs ,2.0
46174,lisanova   my too for a log week ,2.0
46175,brookedanielle ohmygod  that would be amazing  might take a little long though   haha  i just cant think what it is,0.0
46176,rt mysteriousfact not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
46177,incindia during upa every year avg  farmers committed suicide what congress did after  of congress rule ,2.0
46178,away becuase i have a headache ,2.0
46179,rt deplorrebel you know whats sadjames gunn can get over  signatures to have him rehired and can get tons of support but we,1.0
46180,i managed to do something new so  months ago i basically lost my main hobbies long story and my friends that went along with them apart from a few ive needed to find somewhere to try and meet new people and form new friendships but im really introverted and also terrified about running into people i no longer have contact with ive been trying to convince myself to go to my local knitting group every saturday since the beginning of the year and finally managed to do it today i fought the anxiety and demons i got there and had fun and met new people now to go again next week,3.0
46181, no fruit here  i need to go grocery shopping,2.0
46182, wow i know i havent been in the chat for a while  but whoa i didnt think it wuld change that much lol ,2.0
46183,i will message everyone that retweets this depression ,1.0
46184,gorfod deffro cyn cwn caer i glywed y ferch ar radio  rwan  mr clyweled  gwasanaeth cymrth cristgol yn y capel  dim quotlie inquot heddiw ,2.0
46185,woollyams its for real ,0.0
46186,premierdental does your child have dental anxiety you can help read blog ,1.0
46187,exotic ,0.0
46188,michaelpaynter interesting are u rerecording some of it i reckon money on your tongue shoulda been a single look forward anyway ,0.0
46189,noooo the weekends over ,2.0
46190,my college roommate left without telling me and im super lonely i didnt really like him but i would have appreciated if he let me know he was leaving ,3.0
46191,i am so fucking tired thank fsm i dont have work tomorrow headache ftl going to straighten my hair tomorrowwwwww ,0.0
46192,joshmeatsix i love germany im from there  youre playing at the logo in hamburg arent you,0.0
46193,team were going to be messing about with the theming of the site for an hour or so so if you see it go a little  weird  its us ,0.0
46194,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
46195,loubeejones ill revise later ,0.0
46196,i have lost years of savings because of cryptocurrency i have been saving money since i was about  because family was extremely poor and i knew i had to save every penny i make i had to drop out of school and work to provide my family i am currently  and last year i discover cryptocurrency and i thought it would be a life changing movement i saw my money doubled in a month and recently the market crashed and right now i have lost  of all my money at this point i dont see the point of living this shitty life anymore i saved every penny i have made and i never have any entertainment i was hoping to use the money to get a house for my family and i but this dream has crashed down to nothing,3.0
46197,  that really sucks,2.0
46198,i break my own heart so no one in the world will ever hurt me ever again,3.0
46199, lol idk why i just did thatcheck you out the ultimate multi tasker ,0.0
46200,chicbuds hi kailynn    just got hereyou were my first tweet up  how was your day,0.0
46201,ryanmmurphy for sure ,0.0
46202,dancxjo karmadrome jake tweeted back saying it was the suck and i told him i wanted you to get a job here ,2.0
46203,josemarques i dont feel like having to reboot  if only osx supported hibernate amp reboot in bootcamp ,2.0
46204,fevarenee damn babe including me ,2.0
46205,heading back home ,2.0
46206,amp  days till jonas woooo life is sweet ,0.0
46207,just got a new job at a pharmacy  cant wait to start,0.0
46208,my job makes me want to kill myself the anxiety of working in a toxic environment for minimum wage with narcissistic colleagues is too much i work rubbish hours i finish work at  tonight and am back at  tomorrow with  mins travel time in between i have headaches every day i keep getting palpations every few seconds now i want to cry i havent got the energy or confidence to look for anything else i dont know what to do i have severe social anxiety i feel so awful,3.0
46209,while i can complain that theres nothing on tv ,0.0
46210,im definitely done everybodys salty everybody says theyre opinion whitout listening to others opinions how can i pretend to be happy if everybody doesnt want to listen to mete people sees that im never happy asks me if i need to talk buts everything useless nobody really wants to listen what i want to say whats the point of asking me if i need to talk then everybodys mean everybody cares only about theyre selfs isnt this so sad i would give my life to make somebody happier but nobody would do the same i still remember when i was a little kid i was so happy when i was always smiling and playful but whit some time i changed now im always sad tired whymy parents never  aree about my problems and then i become hollowwhat happened to you why now you dont smile anymorewell if you really care why did you left me alone all this yearsim starting to think that maybe i deserve it maybe ive done something bad and now im paying for my sinsi dont know i just hope that all this will finish soon,3.0
46211,back to work had a cold for last  days feeling a bit better miss the other half ,2.0
46212,obeattie thanks ,0.0
46213,moirabee today  but it iswas  at the door ,2.0
46214,caronsbeachhs i hate being in the plane itself  feels like theres no air in there  slightly claustrophobic ,2.0
46215, i would so join you if i was in western mass ,0.0
46216,saralds thanks for that sara ,0.0
46217,rt timcalderon anxiety levels rising each hour,1.0
46218,rt deiuxional sad truth is one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory,1.0
46219,gofoborsvpcodes could use one for chesterfield mo for terminator today if anyone has one text it to me  would appreciate it ,0.0
46220,new website finally launched wwwdiandraanncom ,0.0
46221,independence day  day after tomorrow    blaaah,2.0
46222,excited about seeing jp today but not the rest of quotthemquot  u know what i mean heather,2.0
46223,phamtamm well i think shed be really happy and proud at the person youve become today ,0.0
46224,xlucyloox h might need an operation though ,2.0
46225,loskank fuck paramore youre about to watch no doubt from front row and i kind of hate you for that ,2.0
46226,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
46227,apartment is nearly habitable my hands are so dry from cleaning ,2.0
46228,balloonmage lol just relaized i cant spellgot a new phone and having trouble adapting ,0.0
46229,does anyone feel the same i wish i was never born i wish that another person was born instead of me  someone thats pretty smart confident and talented i feel sorry for my family that i was born instead of this person i fantasise about going back in time and stopping my parents from meeting some back to the future shit right here so i wouldnt have to be born plus my parents are miserable together so id be doing them a favour so they could find someone better for themi dream of the possibility that i could swap bodies with a terminally ill person who really wants to live my soul would go into their dying body and their soul would go into my healthy body  i recognise the value of life and how it can be beautiful for some people but at the same time i dont think living is for everyone relate to any of this crazy thoughts please let me know,3.0
46230,impalaguy sorry about you�re mom  but it�s great to hear your dad is the best  then you forgive him the sparkle ,2.0
46231,no worriesno problemsthen back to reality ,2.0
46232,just realized  half of  has been fucking awesme ,0.0
46233,rt emilyschemer i just watched a harrystyles vs other celebrities video and it made me sad on how true the fact is that harrystyles,1.0
46234,does anyone else every write their suicide note in their head to their family for my entire life ive been the rock in my family always the one my family calls to fix things when my mom almost gets in an accident and cant drive home when my dad gets roofied on a business trip and robbed when my mom is thinking about leaving my dad because hes an alcoholic i fixed it and hes sober now my sister has an abuse boyfriend and i have to fix it its one thing after another and im the one who has to fix it with no emotion no one ever asks how im doing ive been going through a rough patch for a while i dont remember the last time i was genuinely happy sure i had fun getting drunk or whatever but i still woke up with the same feeling everyday ive dated but nothing has sparked since my heart was broken a while back im going through the motions right now ive tried everything that has made me happy in the past gym  times a week going out with friends reading movies whatever but nothing help i havent felt this down since i was put on anti depressants for a head injury over  years ago legit the anti depressants made me not get out of bed for days i wont ever take my life because im afraid of what would happen to my family after but i constantly think about the letter id write to them if i did ,3.0
46235,i hate myself so much i wish i could choke my soul to death i deserve nothing but torment and despair anyone who tells me the contrary is lying and can go fuck themselvessometimes cutting isnt enough i try to burn my finger nails its the only thing that numbs the deafening cancer that rings through my head lets try again,3.0
46236,getting probably my last haircut from the woman thats been doing my hair for at least  years ,2.0
46237,mee either dude  thats crazy that a little peice of plastic sucks your junk ,0.0
46238,krailton totally agree ,0.0
46239,but honestly though erics sisters are god sent 😭 one of them is up right now calming my wedding anxiety and help ,0.0
46240,feels good to be able to talk to a black man who knows whats goin on ,0.0
46241,happiest ive been in a loooonggg time ,0.0
46242,plushe thank you i was worried it was too showy ,0.0
46243,davidmassacre it takes about  mins for it to post to your feed patience mr dave ,0.0
46244,maswell i think you need help working out the soreness ,0.0
46245,i really want to give up i just want to give up and throw myself of the next bridge i dont want to be strong anymore i dont want to make jokes anymore my dad died of cancer now my mom has cancer i have to get surgery on my hand and exams are coming up my teachers arent available to teach me anything because of corona my future apprenticeship told me i was lazy and i dont know if they want me anymore i gave it my best i worked so hard i pushed and pushed even if it hurt i thought if i just worked hard enough everthing would work out but now i am not so surei feel like if i quit if i died everything would be easier and i wouldnt be a burden anymoresorry for writing all of this i really dont want to trouble anyone with my problems but i just had to vent my frustrations,3.0
46246,home and exhuasted but i had a lot fo fun ,0.0
46247,eeveej ouch   im meant to be going into brum tomorrow but if i dont ill come along,2.0
46248,me why dont i ever have people to hangout withalso me has anxiety attack when asked to hangout with new person,2.0
46249,im sick twits ,2.0
46250,mylifemyworld what no homie luv cuzzo ,2.0
46251,i am packing for nc  will not be missing the dreary boston weather will be missing my twins ,2.0
46252,my kitty looks like he was crying his eyes are all watery and tears are streaming down his face saddd kitty ,2.0
46253,love the summer state of mind  yw    rb via lipsync quotsummer day mixwith thanksampxxdjdolcevita tha  ,0.0
46254,rt nvyoome me forcing my friends to listen to sad indie music when theyre in the car with me ,1.0
46255,georgedvorsky makes me lose hope for the future quite frankly ,2.0
46256,finally a nice day and i spending it traped in a steel box ,2.0
46257,jobb hunting to keep my out of the sun i have no hope of getting one ,2.0
46258,what does spiraling into depression feel like what are the begging stages like how does it slowly creep up and how do i know if im slowly becoming depressed ,3.0
46259,tedious what a word   finished romeo and juliet ,2.0
46260,i feel like a burden or failure to my family my brother just had a baby with his gf has his own place makes my mom proud and my grandma proud and here i am  still with my mom causing problems without even trying not in school bc i have zero interest i did one semester and it was a disaster im the depressed person in my family which just causes more stress in the family my grandmother just says godjust talk to god he will help you ive already tried to kill myself which caused everyone to stress out because im stupid i dont even know where im going with this i feel like a burden and failure im going nowhere in life i feel like im going to die young and also die alone ive never kissed or dated anyone because lol who want some ugly fat girl no one ,3.0
46261,cant stop thinking  hmm dont want college tomorrow ,2.0
46262,my dog just had a seizure ,2.0
46263,i have an odd pensive nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as i prepare for bed and i cant figure out why ,2.0
46264,so sad,2.0
46265,not feeling so great ,2.0
46266,fettes brotdeichkind und laas unld ,0.0
46267,i fucking hate myself so much i cant take it i dont know how to phrase this i just want relief please give me space to breathe and feel ok i want to sleep forever why do i feel so terrible all the tim it hurts stop stop stop stop stoo stop stop it,3.0
46268,whats wrong with me lol theres no reason for me to be feeling like such a depressed piece of shit when im the one who put myself in this position lmao ,3.0
46269,sandydemandy you forgot to pick up mine ,2.0
46270,joeysmith  i voted ,0.0
46271, thank you  i think hes so cute x hahahaha id choose him over nick jonas o,0.0
46272,i feel so alone i feel like i cant do this anymore,3.0
46273,benjibum haha thats what i say about my catquotshe loves mequot but then i pick her up and she screams her smelly breathe in my face  haha,0.0
46274,anahumphrey but what was it i want to know ,2.0
46275,rt jackvanwhatever frankensteins monster is just a sad guy with feelings ,1.0
46276,rt nbcbayarea four people including a  boy were killed in what police said appears to be a triplemurder suicide in nyc http,2.0
46277,ashishjoy you do too man im glad you had a blast this evening ,0.0
46278,anybody find cbd effective i have been desperately looking for a solution and i read that cbd can help im under  and i want to ask my mom but she probably wont understand should i risk it and just order some,3.0
46279,dont feel good again  my throat isnot good gross,2.0
46280,im a person who tries to make everyone around me happyim depressed for a year and thats why i try to make everyone around me happyi just got rejected today by a girl with depression i have tried to get her happy so muchi even stopped her from suicide but she loves another guy and she couldnt love mei told her im cool with thatim obviously not but i didnt want to make her upset,3.0
46281,i have i shot the sherriff stuck in my head stuck at work ,2.0
46282,rt botanical he spent two years planting thousands of scented flowers for his blind wife to smell to help with her depression httpstc,1.0
46283,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
46284,asxmugpunter cant blame them mug advertising always has many chasing dreams if it is selling them the dream of ,0.0
46285,penwynhapus sorry to hear ur disappointed  i was too when coldplay posted a picture of the live album   but it wasnt,0.0
46286,astynes me too  wonder if mnet will show it,2.0
46287,is home ,0.0
46288,this year has caused a buzzing undercurrent of anxiety thats present every day i know my people because we vibrate at this same frequency,2.0
46289,school was fun head hurts and starved though ,2.0
46290,turning off my phone ,2.0
46291,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
46292,i hate everything about my life i am just like everyone else herei absolutely hate everything about my lifemy marriage is brokenmy husband is lying to himself about who he loves and this makes him unhappyi hate my jobi dont have anything to show that i have achievedwhat is it all worth living forwhy,3.0
46293,carlyrighteous im in belleville at my parents and someone offered me a bus ride to orillia for  at the mall thought of you ,0.0
46294,i have depression because of brain surgery ive let my life completely fall apart because of brain surgery i had when i was  i turn  in march i felt all these pains and was extremely sick the summer of  and it turned out i had a brain tumor that caused a brain lesion behind my right eye this caused horrible migraines and i had to have surgery for it in september right after school started i dont know why but my entire life fell apart after that i had a bunch of medical complications after the surgery and i lost all the support i thought i had in my life at the time i lost support from my family besides mom i lost all my friends the church and school i went to forgot about me i was all alone which wasnt the healthiest thing for someone struggling with what i did i believe i had depression since october of  and that it consumed me i was way behind in schoolwork since i was gone for  months everyone at school ignored me and my health complications didnt help i would sleep  hours a day and most days i didnt feel good enough to even go to school i couldnt make friends and felt all my opportunities at living a normal life slipping i bought a  when it came out with the money i saved up and ever since i have had an addiction to it my only escape and the only thing that brought my joy was stupid video games when i became a freshman in  i was broken i tried getting help with my sleep problems thinking it was sleep apnea or narcolepsy but no progress was made on it with the sleep specialist since he retired i have gotten slightly better now but i still struggle between insomnia now and passed out sleeping other days when i went into high school i thought life would get better and it would pull me out of my depression but i feel it made it worse i went to a school in the district that was different than my peers so there were only  kids i knew at the school i thought i had good relations with them and tried becoming friends but when i went up to them they hated me for some reason they thought i was a horrible and useless person i couldnt focus on the schoolwork and was failing and i was an outcast even to the outcasts of the school i wanted to kill myself then i switched to the online program the school had for the rest of the year before i could take a real online school late on i regret that because i fell behind in credits to graduate because the program was shitty and i couldnt get any of the teachers help i needed so for the past  years ive been taking courses over summer and winter break to make up for freshman yeari switched to real online school sophomore year and that practically been my life since i had a couple online friends but i lost them in  one of them attempted suicide and their family blames me and said i was a horrible influence on him the other two moved on and joined the air force since theyre a year older than me ive let my life fall into shambles since i switched to online school the only thing that brought me some kind of dopamine was video games and its become such an addiction since its the only thing i find i still get some kind of sick joy out of i looked at the stats from  alone i spent on that  and it was  hours i know that the stats can be somewhat off but thats  days of the year spent on fucking video games that isnt counting the past years which i played so much that i burnt out the bulbs in my tv and replaced it at the beginning of  ive let my life fallen apart and i dont know how to fix it partial blame i guess to my mom for letting me live like this but shes been going through her own shit that it really isnt her fault my terrible grades over the years really messed me up and the medical complications havent really been fixed or anything im probably going to have to have another surgery when im an adult and because of the steroids i took before surgery i have cataracts ill probably end up on disability and just be a leech on the government and society im too dumb and lazy to live and i have fuck all social skills and i hate everything about myself if you saw me id just be a  overweight dumbass with terrible hair because if my incision line from the surgery if you didnt know me youd probably assume im a drug addict or homeless i have no future or aspirations and if i wasnt a pussy id off myself i have no one to blame but myself but everyday im so alone and unmotivated and so fucking depressed thanks for listening to my ted talk ,3.0
46295,have the hotlines ever helped any of you guys  ive tried calling some and theyve been pretty meh i see them being recommended a lot and that you need to talk too someone but its been really pointless maybe im just bad at talking though,3.0
46296,do you know any good depression jokes i am finally stable for more than half an year yeah i am getting a bit moody tho and thought that besides doing the usual good stuff taking care avoiding stress i want to laugh about the disease do you happen to know good depression jokesmy attempt but i dont know how good it isq what happens to a nurse that gets depressiona she does not care,3.0
46297,why am i so bloody stressed i dont even know why all day all week ive just been so stressed amd i have no idea why my heart rate is high and im getting constant anxiety attacks ive joined a new school but i honestly dont think thats the reason yes i struggle to make new friends and even keep friends but i dont think thats why even now as im typing im socluding myself and ik i am i want to try socialise but feel i cant and am not wanted anyway anyway its really starting to get on my nerves now that this stress is taking over me idek why its really making me angry and it alsways has and its getting quite hard to deal with it alone i just need someone to hug i really do and i want them to be with me to just comfort and care by my side everyone else seems to have that why cant i whys everyone so happy too it doesnt make sense to me nothing in the world makes sense to me why does everyone like life why do you all seem to want to live to the next day i guess i just struggle to understand people around me and how people feel or how people act and be so confident it really is a puzzle to me that i am still struggling to assemble i went completely off topic im sorry for ranting but its been an annoyance for a long time now especially now even though i feel okay for once,3.0
46298,i want to be a wizard ,2.0
46299,wow im so sad,2.0
46300,bed with scooter ,0.0
46301,im so sad i shouldnt have come,2.0
46302,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
46303,althechamp i love you too so sad ,2.0
46304, except when we say thank you  i think ppl appreciate the efforts u guys vry much but dont often have a chance to express it,0.0
46305,i dont think i can do it anymore just being alive is almost unbearable right now and i dont even know why i waited to long to get help and now theres nothing more for me to do i cant even cry i just dont know how to feel anything anymore i havent been happy in years i keep telling myself its gonna get better soon but it hasnt i just feel like i should just give up at this point,3.0
46306,akacandy ooooh yes they are ,0.0
46307,just woke uppppppp ,0.0
46308,rt  solar 🔋jdoublermrjoe suicide monday✴️☄️🌑🚀🌠💥 ,0.0
46309,blairbonaldi thank you the thing i personally like the most about this picture are the eyes  nearly as intense as the original ones ,0.0
46310,samishamieh i dont approve of weed it seems a bad deed i do like coffee though makes my mental process flow ,0.0
46311,thekellanlutz awwe  i did that yesterday morning it was brutal,2.0
46312,stutts yeah but hows the humidity ,0.0
46313,noone must suffer except me tldr in title just ranting thank you if you read thisi dont know if i really have depression or just pretend if i ever want to get rid of this condition this feels like part of me kind of warm coat made of anxiety and numbness which let me feel physically alive while being dead inside im tired of having good days im tired of everything yet i write this in one of good dayswatching other people suffer from depression feels like torture to me i want to help everyone but i cant i want to prevent people from ever feeling that way but i cant do that either i want to be only the one to suffer from it but i will never achieve that noone deserve to feel like shit except me,3.0
46314,rt eatmyasshank so his emotions are all free and unrestricted now do you think it becomes overwhelming at first and he starts crying du,1.0
46315,abbidoyo that makes me sad but i understand sometimes standing up for what you know is right means standing up a ,0.0
46316,holding a dandelion and seeing how long itll take to blow out ,0.0
46317,madgunn nice can you post a pic of that ,0.0
46318,is gonna get a new ipod tomorrow ,0.0
46319,ipod touch os  upgrade doesnt available in indonesian applestore yet ,2.0
46320,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
46321,believes in miracles  ,0.0
46322,debbiefletcher how will you survive without twitter when its so addictive plus we will all miss your tweeting ,2.0
46323,science biology and social study in the first day of my exam those subjects is difficult  wish me luck yall,2.0
46324,pimpmyster tainted love is a cool song ,0.0
46325,simplyshanon make sure you give me instructions once you do ,2.0
46326,i think this is the end of my life ive been in a relationship for roughly five years i was happy i complained about the small things nonstop and i wasnt able to fix myself in time for her to forgive me for being horrible shes left and found someone else im alone and i dont know what direction to go in anymore at first i thought maybe us separating would help me focus on myself but im finding that the only reason i wanted to focus on myself was to fix myself to make her happy i have nothing left emotionally and i dont think anyone will ever love me again so i guess this is it i think ive made up my mind to end it and be done with everything i dont have anyone i can talk to anymore so im ranting here instead ,3.0
46327,ickleinnocentme  get more sleep the sawahbear,2.0
46328,afinefrenzy so sweet  you are looking shockingly gorgous   a quotfrenzyquot shirt ,0.0
46329,rt causewerecomedy friend you seem sad are you sure youre okme ,1.0
46330,my brother may have been expelled or suspended i dont know cause no ones telling me anything ,2.0
46331,rt tgangiee dont you fucking hate when you think ur actually in a good place u kno happy as hell and then bam ur sad as shit again a,1.0
46332,i think mark still fancies abbie ,2.0
46333,trulyjamesneil  lol its not really poetry just randomness human biology is hard work  probably my hardest subject ,0.0
46334,powerpuff was pretty interesting aside from seeing a certain someone ,2.0
46335,ashleekaye they were good stories i cant believe i hit a pole ,2.0
46336,thats right ,0.0
46337,is trying not to be crabby ,2.0
46338,leaving for graduation gonna miss all of them  gonna be weird next year without them,2.0
46339,good morning i had my marshmellow fruit loops and apple juice and is feeling so good ,0.0
46340,captainmarky  if you follow me i promise to clean your rotor blades on a sunday afternoon whilst your off building trampolines ,0.0
46341,i finally spoke up sorta i come from a rather small village so theres like  people my age i had to get along with all my life until a year ago after the better half of a decade of being bullied excluded made fun of i somehow managed to be around that group occasionally every few months last week when i finally got to invite myself again to something i made a rather petty comment about how i almost never get invited to stuff and someone finally heard me they even asked if they understood it right im not sure what this means for the future but if i had to guess i wont get to be around anymore from now on but i did tell someone at last and in hindsight i feel good about letting someone from that group know about it i just needed to get that out one of the few things that worked out in my life right now and i needed to share not having friends sucks but pretending to tell people online helps a little,3.0
46342,in double chem  home after this xx,2.0
46343,why am i too scared to take that step it seems easy and obvious to others even to myself but why cant i i cant even understand myself i just feel sad,3.0
46344,im tired of being the broke depressed kid in a junk yard im moving onto my university campus in september and im very unmotivated im moving to get as far away from my current living situation with my family my mother and father would absolutely not let me leave until i started uni i have a passion for art and film and im not going into neither of those things my father gave me a heated and crushing talk about how his dreams were crushed by the film and art industry and that i shouldnt peruse it as a career now im going into biological anthropology because it was the only scientific bachelor i could get that my marks were good enough for my back up interest was being a field technician and studying primates  biological anthro was the closed i could get and im not looking forward to it at alli got accepted to residence and the course and my family seem proud of me for the first time ever i have an awful relationship with food and myself and this has led to me being isolated i cant talk to people i dread even going to a cashier because i feel i am this disgusting thing that is just being judged not to mention the fact that my parents forced me into homeschooling and i feel so separated from others that were my age  everyone assumes its easier peaceful free flowing but its a lie im lonely unmotivated and feel like an outsider i craved independence from my controling mother so i took my education into my own hands im doing self paced high school i have the same amount of work as any other high schooler but i can do it at my own pace so long as i have completed all the required work before the diploma however everything is self motivated i have no teacher penalizing me or reminding to about work i have no friends to motivate me through the work or to help me study im just alone in my room almost every day trying to kill time and not myselfi just got a  on a  question biology  quiz if my parents find out they will scream at me tell me to study harder tell me im a not even trying i feel like an idiot but i sit and study for hours and yet it goes in through one ear and right out the other one of my very few friends from my childhood is having a crisis currently and i envy her in a sick way her family has money cars dogs a life and shes frustrated that her mum has such high expectations for her she asked if i want to go with her and just leave clear our heads and tell our families to fuck off i was honestly very tempted i wish i could scream at my friend and tell her how lucky she is i live in a low income dangerous apartment my parents have to sleep in the living room and my room is full of shit that isnt mine cause theres no room for it anywhere else in the house for it  i have no nice normal furniture only metal racks and the cheapest things from ikea everything feels very function over fashion and none of my few friends have ever seen my room or been in it because im so disgusted by it ive never been on a plane and my family hasnt owned a car in two decades im at the end of my ropei find that because im so starved of affection and have such low self esteem that i crumble at any affection i see this being a problem especially in uni im cynical and anxious but i would fall into anyones arms and i think that would get me into trouble and i dont want to be with the wrong person since i feel like im very easily manipulated because im so emotionally fragile i have a part time job that i dont really have many friends at even though ive worked there for a year i hated the job from day one and am desperate to leave i cry in the back every shift but i need the money so i can leave my familyi appreciate you reading this if you made it to the end im just really frustrated and i dont want to become my parents i dont want to be poor and angry and lonely i hate to consider death to be an option but its been getting more and more appealing as time goes by and nothing has improved since i was little,3.0
46345,arivindabraham welcome to the dark side  ,0.0
46346,is catching up on tv programmes frm the wk ,0.0
46347,sebbypeek hmkay  im going to stab whats his face in a minute ,2.0
46348,definatalie im sorry  im so hormonal i hated myself and i couldnt leave the house ,2.0
46349,up was sad ,2.0
46350,deparcture i have orientation tmr aswell sad hours,2.0
46351,  que linda ,0.0
46352,jasonauburn stagsden v oakley we are stagsden we are now  for  off  overs they are now smacking it to all parts ,2.0
46353,pepsi was my addiction  i started weight management classes and drank water for  weeks  now im addicted to dr pepper    lol,2.0
46354,ok music session n library over  off  chem lab for  freakin hours pirate voice aaarrrggghhh,2.0
46355,here comes the storm run for your lives arghhhhhh oh its stopped  haha,2.0
46356,wossy hi i realy love ur show on a friday night  loved it when miley was on you should bring taylor swift on xx pls reply  me,0.0
46357,in the car going back to hemet super naseaus played dnd for the  timd this weekend so fun ,0.0
46358,kyle going to the garage his night is done think well get an interview  nascar,0.0
46359,i am watching jon and kate plus  i feel so bad for them ,2.0
46360,is bummed gary papa died ,2.0
46361,wow didnt mow the lawn cuz i thought the mower was broke mom comes home the mower isnt broken i get in trouble for not mowing the lawn ,2.0
46362,is working today then relaxing at the pool tomorrow  i love summer,0.0
46363,i honestly want to die life feels meaningless and there seems to be no escape from this harsh reality i just want to take a nice long nap and never wake up even as i compose this post i find it rather difficult to keep my eyes open there is nothing but an endless fog and the more i try to get out the more obscured my vision becomes im tired so very exhausted and unmotivatedthere is no end to this suffering i cant stand being in constant pain i dont want to do anything with my life except for ending it i cant stand being alive im so sick and tired of wasting my pathetic life away knowing that ill never amount to anything if i could id like to just stop existingim too far gone just please do me a favor and let me die why cant i just go away why must i continue to put on this mask thats deteriorating at an alarming rate my mind is rotting on the inside and is of no use to myself or anyone in this hellish world oh please please please stop the pain make the pain go awaynothing i do will help it is a lost cause attempting to make things better im just so fed up with others attempting to help me when i know that there is no solution i wish i could be assed to give a shit as i do want the pain to go away its just that my preferred method of ridding myself of this torment is socially unacceptable and thats just horrid to me why must i continue to experience agonizing pain for the sake of others when i can just end it all and be contentdeath is preferable death is the best solution i can think of i cant find it within me to fight anymore and since i cant kill myself ill just stop living and hope that i succumb to a terminal illness or die in a freak accident i dont want to hurt the people who love me yet i dont want to be miserable i cant sleep when i should and i dont feed myself what i should be eating if at all i cant find the energy to bathe or smile and no matter what the joy is always shortlivedim tired its as simple as that i just want to sleep forever and never awaken i am in absolute pain and its only getting worse as the days pass i might just go back to sleep after this or at the very least lie down and stare at my walls for hours on end id watch videos or do something else enjoyable but my current mindset renders the experience akin to watching paint dry everything is just so numb right now so cold and lonely,3.0
46364,how you got a whole ass family home amp people that love you amp still be sad i id kill for it 😭,1.0
46365,amaniboo and again i know we just friends right still friends again im sorry ,2.0
46366,done spamming people on fb ,0.0
46367,hello  need help  my girlfriend of which wouldve been one year and  months tomorrow left me why  you might ask no reason really she just left my longest and first actual relationship i had sex with only her  never did anything really with another girl so she was my first time and everything felt right a few weeks back she left me and although it lasted only a few hours until we were back together  it made me super depressed cause i felt lost still shes such a good looking girl  im average at best i was always told i was too ugly for her she was defiantly a and most guys would say so  i dont think i can ever get as good again im fucking depressed  i am more mad than sad and i cant even feel emotion cause i have the fucking flu on top of this  she supposedly exposed me so i cant even go to school if so illbe bulliedmore  i get called a nigger and a  terriost more than anything it sucks being called a terriost cause of your first name being a middle eastern name and if people know that ill just be called a fucking nigger sorry about that word i have to be as raw as possible i need helpsomeone please help me i feelfucking lost right now  i dont know why to do seriously,3.0
46368, i know it makes me sick ,2.0
46369,ugh headache  time for my lunchtime nap httpplurkcompwwscp,2.0
46370,oh gawd i am listening to my neighbors be informed that the irs is foreclosingevicting them ,2.0
46371,evilfelicia yea its really cold  i hate it,2.0
46372,phew back down to  followers againthat was weird lol i went all through my followers there and deleted a few bas uns too ,0.0
46373,finally home eating cupcakes with the bestie after the most brilliant steak dinner ,0.0
46374,deighed lmao thought you said quotsee you in kfcquot ,0.0
46375,saved by the bell oh memories ,0.0
46376,yay for friday  got my hair done today  love it  ,0.0
46377,telegantmess sometimes i think we need to be proactive amp ship them to some remote atoll amp detonate an hbomb then my ethics kick in ,2.0
46378,mum still tetchy as she was inspecting the spinning object clearly told her she was too late it came to life yesterday was swotted away ,2.0
46379,carterchan so sometimes the hashtag threads have to wait till im actually at the computer ,0.0
46380,does anyone have a relatively recent model blackberry which they might loansell to me  not a storm  needs to have a keypad  dm,0.0
46381, ill have to downgrade ,2.0
46382,miramarmike but it can tell you how much wood a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood try it its a laugh ,0.0
46383,britney spears in  days   ,0.0
46384,chronic disappointment what is the cause of chronic disappointment   ways to dealing with disappointment,3.0
46385,tidalwave oh i keep getting that problem too  i want these people to foad but theyre still there ,2.0
46386,this my first time watchin this joint in a whilethis jackson american dream joint is sad as hell ,2.0
46387,demoine feeling the site redesign simple and your web work is so good jealous ,2.0
46388,i am about to die of bordom some one amuse me ,0.0
46389,mustnotputonheatingelectriccostsraisedby� ,2.0
46390,natahstar bestie naw im at the spital visitin nana shes back in  ima call u when i leave,2.0
46391,i took my first mental health day today i was hoping i wouldnt need to take one and use one of my sick days but yesterday after a trivial interaction with a coworker i wound up crying for almost  minutes ive been clinically depressed for as long as i can remember but im not sure why its suddenly so much worse for the last week ive been significantly less productive avoiding verbal conversation and leaving earlydoes anyone know what i can do today to help repair my mental health  or at least make it less likely for me to cry the next time someone talks to me what do people normally do during their mental health days,3.0
46392,perezhilton omg you just brought me back to my youth when my dad would suddently want to watch the show with mom for the jokes ,0.0
46393,yogurtland ,0.0
46394,you people make me sad  unfollowfriday,2.0
46395,i just found out that the iphone  s isnt out yet in portugal  i hate this,2.0
46396,pomospice ty my last job was the awful combo of personalmental healthcareer nonsense so i def get that heres to new beginnings,2.0
46397,if everyone had to send checks each quarter there would be revolution in the streets tomorrow ignorance breeds complacency ,2.0
46398,rt juicexo when i graduated i was dealing w severe depression and looking back i wish i wouldve gotten tf over the bs amp had a fun seni,1.0
46399,attending technet virtual conference todayif i can stay awake after another night  out of  this week of exchange callout problems ,2.0
46400,rt eswanmaryam study medik  tahun jauh drpd mak ayah pstu habiskn duit parent  bulan duit flights lagi duit yuran almost rm ,2.0
46401,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
46402,rt laevantine whos the villain ancient amalgam of evil powermad nihilist clown some jackass a german witch,2.0
46403,power out my world ends here ,2.0
46404,why is there so much chatter in my room today i seriously need to write like a maniac so distracted ,2.0
46405,i feel so empty i feel like im floating floating in a bubble all alone in a world that makes no sense next to me is my body the body of someone that looks and feels alien memories ideas feelings that are not my own in my hand i hold this device this device that i use to attempt to reach out to others but it is no use it is useless i should be able to figure this out on my own but alas i cannot but why i feel so empty like there is nothing inside my heart like there is a void inside my chest my soul is not whole it is only half of a soul i feel so empty but still i cry and grieve for the lost parts of me i cry rivers that burn my throat and my eyes but still i feel so empty what is a person that doesnt feel what is the use of being when all i am is a shell a stone a rock nothingi feel so empty my own mind is against me it seems that nobody cares that nobody can see my pain my own mind calls me useless and a failure it tells me that i am nothing that i am a failure but i cant help but to look outside my bubble and see others far away some close by i cannot help but to press my hands against the bubble i cannot help but to seek others even if i am alone even if i am nothing even if i dont feel the way that i should i cannot leave this world until ive felt the touch of anothers hands the sharp and deep pain that they hold in their hearts i cannot leave this world until i have shared the pain and loneliness of my condition with another human being i feel so empty but still i have a purpose i have a cause  poetry is such a fun and interesting thing i prefer to write hopeful poetry as writing about my pain and my emotions without a soft gentle blanket to keep me warm im afraid will not end well for me at least as it will only make things worse good night everyone,3.0
46406,why am i sad ,2.0
46407,how i feel i dont want to talk about my problems because i know theyre really stupid and there are people who have worse problems everyone would just tell me that what i think about myself is not true and im not looking for pity when im really sad its like there is someone inside my head besides me that tells me what a horrible person i am and i know im a disappointment for my parents but thoughts of killing myself are not satisfying for me i know i would just cause more problems and make my loved ones sad so im trapped in my miserable existence ,3.0
46408, accounts  interface loading  loading time for all messages  ram  im officially impressed ,0.0
46409,sims  rest of night work at  ,2.0
46410,just woke up yeah i did wake up but i wanna go back to bed but its like  noon my mom wont allow me ,2.0
46411,wishdreamhope  aww i like that movie ,0.0
46412,saw the hangover this we freakin hilarious loved it true blood premiered last night love that show yummy bill compton ,0.0
46413,giving a thank you to tiamarie ,0.0
46414,rt lifeextension could inflammation be whats making you depressed  mood depression,2.0
46415,you start to see who cares and who doesnt ,0.0
46416,rt lifeaseva respect and acknowledge people with mental health problems it is a real thing and not something anyone chooses to live with,1.0
46417,dannygokey hahas gotta change airline ,0.0
46418,wriggy lol i havent got gh yet ,2.0
46419,roxeduhhh ok i feel bad now so im gonna replyy hii ur entertaining meee  lolol,0.0
46420,the last season of the hills  what will one do with oneself when it ends,2.0
46421,slesersrigailv down sesdienas rt  ainrs noteikti gu ,2.0
46422, so ronery with everyone at botcon ,2.0
46423,fuzzyorange i thought people only went to hounslow when theyd gone the wrong way didnt know there was anything there ,0.0
46424,i shell be going for a walk in  mins who wishes to join me ,0.0
46425,penspencilspens will do see you drecklly for bbq fun ,0.0
46426,miar howdy there ,0.0
46427,wow its quite sad when you put it like that  im gonna miss it all really,2.0
46428,lizardloo lol its the highlight of my day for sure ,0.0
46429,bored as usual but i got facebook and have  friends from the last  hours ,0.0
46430,lol jk im sad im not going but im going to rosarito with my cousins ,2.0
46431,sad 🤭,1.0
46432,ashuhleyx  i would but im getting a ride home with my friend and she only has her provisional lisence ,2.0
46433,inaperfectworld o mcfly viria em bh ,2.0
46434, have fun rovey ,0.0
46435,beach was amazing great day katie  sunburnt alot tho s,0.0
46436,uploading pics ,0.0
46437,has anyone ever admitted to their psychiatrist that they are having suicidal thoughts if so what happened from there kind of like the title says i have an appointment on wednesday and my suicidal thoughts have gotten really bad this month usually when she asks me if im having those thoughts i kind of say ummmm not really and then when she gives me the look i just say nothing serious and brush it off  but the thing is that it is kind of serious and there have been several times this month i did almost take action has anyone ever been really open with their doctor about this what happens my brain goes right into being put on a  hour psych hold against my will in the hospital which is what i really dont want but i want to be able to express the seriousness of what ive been feeling because not only is it getting worse but its incredibly debilitating on my life  just terrified that it will result in an involuntary hospital stay if i speak up,3.0
46438,tommcfly will the pizza challenge continue for summer shows  ,0.0
46439,crusecourtney thx for hope am scared abt being able  walk lol i am shopping for soft sneakers now havent wrn reg shoes in yrs ,2.0
46440,is confused ,2.0
46441,mandyyjirouxx trust me my advice works i get pretty bad migranes from time to time ,0.0
46442,just lost my brother to some hoish female in a gray dress he left  minutes ago ,0.0
46443,how can i not give in to self harm so recently i gave my exams for college the result will be out in about  month pretty sure that ill fail in maths and do real bad in physics i want to blame myself but i cant because i joined college in the last  months due to constant shifting from place to place with parents knowing the people here at college at my house and my relatives ill be highly criticized im pretty sure my father will beat me up and ill be the good for nothing student infront of my teachers i dont know what to do i have a gf but i dont want to be a burden on her and my mom is more understanding but i dont want to worry her either im clean since  months but i cant take it anymore are there any coping methods to avoid self harm,3.0
46444,check out this great bubbletweet from  gt  heythats a cool bubble intro i may try that right away ,0.0
46445,thinking about writing a death note how often do you guys think about what would you write in the death note,3.0
46446,probone sorry for delayed response yes it was jack birchwood great player and a very nice guy glad to meet amp play with him ,0.0
46447,ê lelê i had a bad day ,2.0
46448,dinnaaa  then cutting edge and insight then bed  night night xoxox,0.0
46449,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
46450,im painfully depressed for no reason everything in my life is great my grades in school are finally good im dating the most amazing man on earth my friends and i are getting along my job is finally not horrible basically everything in my life is great yet im so depressed right now it almost hurts i wake up every single day and feel completely empty i cry multiple times a day i havent been sleeping or eating for the last few days i have no motivation or energy ive been trying to be as proactive as i possibly can in an attempt to make myself feel better but nothings working and i feel like im just getting worse as the days go by im not sure what i hoped to accomplish with this post other than just getting this off my chest since im afraid to tell those around me out of fear of how theyd react,3.0
46451,going to school is just a constant reminder that im stupid moron and wont archieve anything in life i dont know if its me or depression that made me so god damn stupid i cant do anything anymore i go to school only to see my horrendous grades and people mocking me for my stupidity i dont know how to deal with this anymore i used to be a straight a student i was great in school and i actually enjoyed my education after secondary school everything just went downhill i got my apprenticeship got into a new school and life just slapped me in the facei got so horribly depressed that all i could do was lay in my bed completely overwhelmend by suicidal thoughts i feel like my depression isnt even valid because it originated from school i struggle immensly to concentrate and learn i cant do the most simplest thing without taking too long and making myself look like a complete fool my memory is absolutely horrible and i cant memorize anything sometimes i even cant tell reality from imagination and its a vicious cycle i cant get out of are that normal symptoms of depressionafter all that i even was gaslighted and raped which only made my depression worse and he even got away with it i feel completely helpless and i cant believe that he wont be punished for his heinous act i feel like a dumb and naive piece of trash that is just good for throwing away im so useless i cant trust anyone i dont know if ill ever be able to build up a successful carrier and have a happy family i just have no hope anymorei actually sent an email to the school counselor and i honestly wish i didnt im so ashamed and i dont want to talk about my struggles how am i even gonna tell her without sounding pathetic but i feel like thats the only option that can help me right now i dont want to go to a therapist because i dont want my parents to knowsorry for this long post just needed to vent thanks for reading,3.0
46452,yall ever just idk exist like you ae aware of your physical being but not mental one i dont really no how to describe this feeling lol i guess its like i know that i exist but do i really in part i think im just bored of my existence you know like its not me wanting to stop life just idk lol its something else i can put my mind on does anyone have a word or thought for thisin other newswe are trying to find out if im depressed or bipolar i told that to a friend of mine and she laughed and said nah youre not bipolar youre mildly depressed if anything and im like lol guess im not youre right  idk i find it so hard yet so easy to talk about depression and mental illness its easy because the stigma has been sorta lifted but then theres the people who claim that people are only depressed for attention and other nonsense like that and sometimes i feel like im not really depressed because of this if that makes sense like people constantly tell me im not i have actually been diagnosed on several different occasion and i almost feel guilty about being depressed and it sorta gives me anxietyhonestly i havent slept in  hours so i understand if this makes no sense what so ever its my thought process and i needed somewhere to share it,3.0
46453,tips for getting yourself to do the things you dont have the motivation for homework phone calls emails i cant get myself to do anything and i seriously feel so stuck therapy would be nice right now to get some advice but ive put off calling my therapist back for like three weeks now  all i wanna do is sleep and be motivated and have energy and not be tired ,3.0
46454, i need to crash haha i have schoool in the morning bring me back a cheesy beef burrito ,0.0
46455,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
46456,what time is game  nuggets and lakers on sunday ,0.0
46457,secretarchive last nite i slept with one of my guy friends i dont know if things will ever be the same and that hurts ,2.0
46458,my life has burned down in front of me i had to leave my house ive had two family deaths in  weeks a job that i enjoyed tried to fuck me over so i left it i finalized my divorce and had to step away from the woman that i loved so much that i forgot what it was like to hate myself the woman who was and still is everything to me i dont know what comes next i dont know whats worth trying for,3.0
46459,preach  ,1.0
46460,been for a depression walk so ive been signed off work with stressdepressionanxiety since the start of december im not due back until march its been a real rollercoaster so far and a double edged sword not having the stress of work has helped take the pressure off but then being at home alone with a lot of time to kill has been hard its been a struggle to try and stop the negative thoughts and my mind going into some real dark places some days are harder than othersso today after my morning coffee and breakfast i decided i was going to have a haircut shave and shower put on some cologne and decent clothes instead of moping round feeling like crap in yesterdays clothes its a nice day outside so i decided to go for what i call a depression walk  just an hour or two out in the countryside to get some fresh air exercise and get out in nature it was real nice i had some podcasts from celeste the therapist to listen to while i walked to try and help my mindset while im still waiting for my appointment with a counsellor on the nhsback home alone now though with nothing much do to gonna make some tex mex jackfruit tacos for dinner maybe get on my  or find a funny movie to watch to distract mepeace and love to everybody take small steps the first steps are the hardest but they do mount up and make a positive difference stay strong you got this,3.0
46461,drkiki omg i had a thesis stress dream a few nights ago what the frak im going on  years now,1.0
46462,is excited for lmhr tomorrrrow ,0.0
46463,madicattt i know how you feel add me and we can be lonely together ,0.0
46464,side effects on sertraline ive just started  sertraline which i was described for depression i took my first one yesterday  i found my hands and feet constantly rubbing together appetite gone completely and my jaw was constantly grinding and clenching i had to wear my mouth gaurd round the house i have not taken one today and dont plan on retaking them i can only compare the experience to coming down off ecstasy does anyone have any similar experience,3.0
46465,having a very fucking stressed out evening ,2.0
46466,do not go to moes mexican grill it is too spicy ,2.0
46467,my happiness suffocated me yesterday its only right that today i drown in my anxiety and depression 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🤣,1.0
46468,i  have no incentives to continue and still cant bring myself to do anything i havent genuinely wanted to kill myself since my junior year of high school but now that im in college i just want to stop existing i cant bring myself to do any of the things i used to enjoy or work on the things i need to do i find myself replacing these things with just lying in bed and doing nothing the only thing that kept me together in high school was the thought of how my grandparents would be if i was suddenly gone but now all of my grandparents are gone and i feel like i dont have any incentives i used to cope with drug use but i havent smoked in a year and i genuinely dont want to risk losing my job so im grasping at straws trying to think of a way to cope but im coming up with nothing im not one to talk about my feelings or anything like that so i feel kind of weird typing this it seems like everytime ive ever tried to talk about this to any of my friends they dont know how to respond and ride it off as a joke and i have friends that would genuinely care but i dont want to impede on their lives with my shit the fact that im an unproductive asshole only makes me hate myself more because i had to work so hard to get to where i am now but im gonna end up throwing it all away i havent been happy since i was a little kid and i just dont see how i can get back to that place,3.0
46469,awake nowgrron a bad sleeping schedule againgoing to watch step brothers later yayyyyi love that movie ,0.0
46470,asheschow wasnt there a staffer for an mp in wales who committed suicide too,2.0
46471,soooooo not qualified to direct traffic where is my intersection buddy ,2.0
46472,back in my old stomping grounds ,0.0
46473,lewisaea i just had a look at the showreel and was v impressed so thought a quick tweet wouldnt hurt ,0.0
46474,stop and read this immediately i dont have depression but i just want those who do have it to know that they are not alone in life people such as myself and others care about you we all go through dark times you just have to pull through i dont know who needs to hear this right now but i love you and i care about you please stay strong and if you ever feel depressed and alone please call the national help line  ❤,3.0
46475,life is great at the mo rightnow bye guys  dont leave me,0.0
46476,my house smells like bonfire ,0.0
46477,my dead stop and loud fuck infront of sweet hall scared the deliverymen they thinl were all crazy now ,2.0
46478,georginaisback but i love u when u r a bad girl ,2.0
46479,day started all wrongended the same way ,2.0
46480,damn sick it sucks ,2.0
46481,rt btsarmyint if youre new to this community and you didnt go through or know about those fucking years of anxiety panic and depres,2.0
46482,i try to be as positive and happy as i can be on here but i gotta admit yall im extremely bonedeep sad today a ,1.0
46483,good nite my tweet buddies it was a long amp exciting twitter day altho minethatbird didnt win ,2.0
46484,a lot if reading ahead boring but very informative believe it or not ,0.0
46485,today marks  yrs at my current job  get to celebrate by working   ,2.0
46486,had to turn down a job today cruel world ,2.0
46487,slipping back to old habits sometimes i feel like i slipping back into old bad habits i struggle to cope with the fact that i need help because of my past experiences with therapy honestly i gauge my need for therapy by how much i idealize suicide which thankfully still isnt much as of late part of me wants help part of me is fearful of the implication it gives to those around me part of me is confused as to what therapy can even offer in terms of actual help i worry about my self control especially because the only time i admit things like this to myself is when im drunk,3.0
46488, lol sure why not ,0.0
46489,i can no longer claim to have more followers than poxyreport ,2.0
46490,get physical podcast may   pure bliss what would the world be without music ,0.0
46491,ive been taking buses way too much license please ,2.0
46492,ughhh i dont feel good ,2.0
46493,talking to my big bubbyi feel sorry for him ,2.0
46494,for those of you who cut yourself to take away some of the pain have you ever tried glue you put it over the area were you cut yourself then rub it on and peel it off and it doesnt hurt you neither does it feed your unhealthy habit it also creates that same feeling of relieving the pain off you when you feel you need too,3.0
46495,is it harder for anyone else to watch animemoviesgames because you know youll never be them i dunno its hard for me to experience most entertainment media because of it  id really like to hear your thoughts on it my minds a mess right now and i cant process much about it,3.0
46496,wishes history had never happened so she didnt have to do this coursework ,2.0
46497,im tired im on medication it makes life more bearable but i hate that this is what i have to do to not feel like shit all the time i want to be happy and normal but i know if i go off of them i will essentially go crazy with my cocktail or anxiety and depression im just tired i used to smoke weed but quit because i felt like its not something people should do as often as i was but damn at least i had something to look forward to i dont know why im still doing this i dont want to die but i have no idea what would ever make me happy,3.0
46498,rbilton i saw the emu eggs at whole foods in hadley   each and apparently  chicken eggs worth of food had to look it up online ,0.0
46499,revsion revsion revsion ,2.0
46500, website not quite finished but is now live online and has had its first attendee sign up   all welcome to attend,0.0
46501,downtempo deathcore                  ×        experimental                  ×overwhelming anxiety ,0.0
46502,wxsie  i know ive been on roadtrip as well so it,2.0
46503, i thought that movie was as vacuous as its premise ,2.0
46504,just when you think it cant get worse had to make a new account so i cant get tracked today was one of the worst days of my life my group of friends just decided to kick me out for no apparent reason i dont know what to do at this point,3.0
46505,im so fucking sad dude,2.0
46506,i be all alone on the bottom floor of my house its lonely and dark ,2.0
46507, ohhhh  i pulled the  words pulled off in a night with oliyoung editing help,2.0
46508,thinkin i need to get a new radio for my deskall i get is static ,2.0
46509, youre not following me  boo lol,2.0
46510,theellenshow im so sad its the one month im not in chicago i would have loooved to see your show enjoy ,2.0
46511,i feel like i havent had fun in so long like good real fun i dont have money to have fun theres nothing going on in this stupid town and im stuck at home constantly smoking cigarettes and eating my feelings trying not to think about how much i want to die i keep applying for jobs but no one ever even gets back to me my email is just full of spam and thats it im sick and tired of looking at my friends and my sisters social media and seeing how much fucking fun theyre having i just wish me and my boyfriend were the only people on earth we could do anything we wanted go anywhere thatd be nice ,3.0
46512,matthewdean ohh song with thomas me like ,0.0
46513,life is good ,0.0
46514,im lonley ,2.0
46515,duilius in  weeks my mum arrives and i will get the cool dvds you bought me  all my friends should be like you huahuahau  loviu,0.0
46516,dell already won  million dollars with twitter strangely i didnt won nothing yet ,2.0
46517,hilaryjp  i have sun here ,0.0
46518, weeks exactly i cant wait ,0.0
46519,is tired why do i bother to even try  maybe i should just give it all up,2.0
46520,i couldnt go to twitter right now im just so sensitive w things like this i dont want to be sad i want to b strong,0.0
46521,damn license expires today gotta go deal with the rmv ,2.0
46522,falling down the hole again ugh i feel it coming i noticed a few weeks ago i started sleeping more and my food intake was getting weird eating lots at one time and then periods of almost nothing feeling super anxious and chewing on my fingers a lot more than normal my self worth has tanked and i have become super critical of myself each time this happens my grades tank and i feel like shit for months happened in     and now with some low level stuff in between i want to be happy i feel like ive been robbed of my identity and having a love life im so scared this will result in my being  and alone with  cats as my only friend i went to the counseling center at the university i go to and had an initial appointment they are starting me on weekly therapy and i have a psychiatry consult i hope this works this time ive never been on meds before so im not sure if it will help but im going to be optimistic has anyone found adding meds to your therapy has worked well i need to hear if its helped and whats that like i feel like this is my last chance to be happy before my  are over ,3.0
46523,books about depression makes you even more depressed,1.0
46524,theconviction ,0.0
46525,rt tonyposnanski donald trump has more passion for a wall than homeless american veterans americans without water in flint and american,0.0
46526,still waiting for someone to tell me april fools my best friend since i was a freshman in highschool committed suicide on april  and all of us found out april  including his family  we would talk about every  days since he moved down to texas chasing his ged he never was happy since the move i feel like i did everything i could until his other good friends started telling me they were surprised about what happened and that he was always talking normal to them i almost feel as if i betrayed him for not talking to him more or planning an earlier visit down to texas to see him but its a  hour drive and thats pretty impossible to do during the school semester we had a whole vacation planned in july and a trip to visit him in the fall before classes started ive never felt such pain i dont even know what to do i want to go see his parents that live near me to see how theyre doing and if theres anything i can do but i feel like ill be a burden to them with everything theyre going through i cant even bring myself to ask how it all happened i just keep putting myself in his shoes wondering what was going through his mind and what he was thinking the whole time and what more i could have done to prevent it i went to the spot where i last saw him on my birthday before he went down to texas and just screamed at the top of my lungs  asking for answers to my many questions which i know i will never find how does one come to peace with all this he was there through just about everything meaningful in my life as i was for him and thats the toughest part losing the one person thats been through it all for you and knows everyone of your secrets i would do anything for one more conversation with him one more long car ride rambling on about whatever at  am as he would show me songs that were helping me feel everything through my rough times rwg my friend shine down on me i need you more than ever,3.0
46527,savvygrl the sunset is stunning snap some pictures  i was in the car ,2.0
46528,i need some followers  im lonely over here,2.0
46529,when you know the problem and the solution but cant fix them turns out no selfesteem for years really ruins your life due to this i developed major and chronic depression know exactly what i need to do cant do ityou dont just rebuild selfesteem over days weeks months or even years this takes decades decades of kindness decades of acceptance decades of love its real hard to get that as someone who feels like every breath is robbing another of oxygenpretty sure its game over for my mental health oh well maybe i can learn to live without these things but  years of trying make me weary yknowanyways my life sucks your life might suck but supposedly life in general doesnt suck hard to believe i know,3.0
46530,lizyybg get over urself it was one call u know damn girl ,2.0
46531,evantjandra would order both small tonkatsu  buta perfect combo ,0.0
46532,theres no point to my suicide sometimes i feel like that if i killed myself there would be no point the only people that would care is family its so hard to keep pushing through each day knowing that theres no one in my life but if i did end it no one would notice or care it would just make my parents sad ive tried to make friends but it seems that everyone just ends up leaving me guess im just supposed to be lost and alone forever,3.0
46533,nathaliev yeah maybe only girls like autotune but guys love the lil wayne and kanye records tho right i think hes out numbered ,0.0
46534,itslissa yup theres me amp my name sake based in la mdflores ive been to la twice since meeting him on here ive yet to meet him ,2.0
46535,try out and they didnt take me its really aggravating because i know im better than a few of the people who i think made it ,2.0
46536, really have i been that naughty  guess ill have to take my punishment then sits sadly on step ,2.0
46537,forum seems to be back on so im glad yeah its pretty geeky and sad so sue me  gona go out,0.0
46538,oh help me driving in my friends car shes not  good of a driver she even admited it   she almost killed us last nite  triple a,2.0
46539,why im addicted im trying to find the enjoyment that things are supposed to give you and it just doesnt work here have this thing itll make you feel better then when it doesnt i just think i didnt do it enough so i do more and search for more things that are supposed to make me feel better and they dont work either uppers dont make me feel up downers dont make me feel down im just wired not to work that way then when nothing works i blame myself and it just makes things worse because when nothing works and there is no help for the chemical imbalance whats the point,3.0
46540,rt spicaterribie otabeks th scary lookin guy who walks by amp u overhear him sayin hes got that anxiety disorder bro so i went with him so,2.0
46541,thomiduvigneau ive got it just come by here next week ,0.0
46542,the tip of my finger hurts  lmao,2.0
46543,musicalsara aww dear  so sorry to hear that,2.0
46544,oinettahunt  awe thats so sweet i know vincenthunt liked that  ,0.0
46545, add me ,0.0
46546,going i sleep today was a long day happy mothers day to all the moms out there ,0.0
46547,rt dataperversion my depression is doing a mic check in my head right now and asking for more in the monitors,1.0
46548,do not know how i feel i just cant figure out if im depressed or if this is just how people feel and im a lazy pos appetite has been terrible i eat at most one meal a day used to play music a lot and i havnt touched a guitar for like  months no desire to nothing sounds goodfun absolutely zero motivation to really do anything im on two antidepressants pretty high doses and they pretty much havnt done jack shit and ive been on them for a while i feel like i shouldnt be feeling so shitty cause im on these meds of course this quarantine is making things worse up until lockdown all i would do is work out once a day and that helped a little like are most people excited to wake up everyday i just have no purpose,3.0
46549,rt fiverights cnnyou have caused dozens of people to wind up in jail or in prisonyouve done it by creating amp implanting tds in gull,2.0
46550,rt cetfa a disturbing look into the live export industry featuring our colleague lesley moffat of eyes on animals ,1.0
46551,abconner nothing like tweeting on a couch with my roomie ,0.0
46552,joeballtshirts  good to hear ,0.0
46553,lauriek always good to have something about eating alone it makes supper a bit more fun ,0.0
46554,knarcisse youll get the hang of it  lol,0.0
46555,i cant find my other shoe ,2.0
46556,rewatching my favorite performers from last night on youtube while i wait to go for sunday lunch i loved germany so much ,2.0
46557,rt shinemygold i tried to commit suicide today never doin that shit again i almost killed myself,2.0
46558,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
46559,could have used a knight in shining armor last night ,2.0
46560,lovesewphie  i hope youre okay i yuhyoo fuh,2.0
46561,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
46562,serenebalance thanks for the followfriday hon  and for the great blogs as ever ,0.0
46563,acdctwivia i sure have ,0.0
46564,good night all ,0.0
46565,hannahmcclellan they just planned something right before i go back to school without realizing itso we cant go then ,2.0
46566,nobody cares when i first dealt with depression there were always people there but none stayed for the long haulit doesnt matter who you are there will never be anyone there for you but yourselfi found this out the hard way texting people just to receive no reply and walking around school as obviously fucked up as anyone had ever been and receiving not one single question of concern for mei dont want to come off as some self absorbed asshole but this is just the way things are for methe people who say they do care just say that itll be better soon and to follow gods plan if you tell them it will never get better and god seems to want you to be depressed theyll just say sorry and forget abt everythingwhy is the world so fucked up,3.0
46567,offft to band practice no  ,0.0
46568,time to get head down on some more work on the end user model  at least no retopping or uving now ,0.0
46569, aww how cute  imma go through a bunch and choose one for you now ,0.0
46570,these thoughts dont make sense first time ever posting here  any responses would be really appreciated i just wanna hear other peoples thoughtsexperienceswhen im at my really low points all i wish was that i could just snap out of it be unhindered  but instead of doing something about it i just sink further down because for some reason it just feels better  i guess that makes sense unfortunately  but what i dont get is when im seemingly doing really well like when im hanging out with friends being really social and having a good time or even when im pursuing my goals i suddenly get this thought its like i want to return to my low point  i look around at the normal people around me having fun and think theres something off with them  like for some reason when im having fun its all an illusion a waste of time even  like its a dream or something and deep down i know that my true self is my depressed self struggling to crawl out of my own mind  why am i trying to sink back down even when im at a high pointi also wanna ask about something else that happens sometimes too  my lows seem to fluctuate  ill be doing alright for a week or so but then ill have a week or two thats just terrible when my mind is just tearing itself apart  what happens though during the time when im doing ok is i totally forget what its like to be at my lows  i convince myself that i was just overreacting or something  like when i spent all day in bed or something not wanting to face the world i was just being lazy whereas in the moment theres a lot more going on than just laziness  it makes it hard to develop habits that help with the depression because every other week i think o im starting to feel better now i guess i dont have to worry much  i think if it were just constant every single day i would probably take a more significant measure against it  but its not so i just deal with it never seeking help or anything even though it gets really bad in the moment and its really affecting me negatively overall i know some of this seems inconsistent but that all pretty much the truth  i struggle to understand it all as well   does anyone have some thoughtseven if you just wanna write same im cool with that,3.0
46571,maybe you should if its that good cappo ,0.0
46572,saturday  it�s going to be   ,0.0
46573,finally  it is aakash who gets me on twitter  ,0.0
46574,im ugly socially incompetent and have no future sometimes i want to scratch off my face because it makes me so angry im hit with beautiful women every single day everywhere i turn real life internet television it makes me so depressed i cant even keep up a regular conversation i constantly embarrass myself or make myself look like a bitch without meaning to i fucking stutter and flub words im in school for a major i dont fucking want my personality sucks most days i come home and i want to cry to let it all out but im so tired the tears dont fucking come how do i break out of this fucking cycle i want to live life i feel like ive never really let myself live,3.0
46575,has horrible back pains keeping me up evan more  ,2.0
46576,aaaaaah cant take it anymore still wanna watch psych wants more of gusshawn boomage  butgra,2.0
46577,strawberrypop aww  me either ,2.0
46578,am i depressed for the past few months i have been feeling unmotivated ive gained weight the smallest things like people talking or even someone asking me how my day was irritate me really easily i tend to isolate myself from everyone i love and i just feel empty a lot of the timemy parents have the mindset of grow up and stop looking for attention and all my friends have already heard about my life struggles but i feel like i need a therapist but i cant without getting my parents permission since im not  yethow do i go about getting a diagnosis and hopefully a therapist i really dont want to wait for  years till im  if its going to be like this because if so do i might fucking shoot myselfim really at wits end here and i feel like im backed into a wall and i really need help soon or else i might do something drastic to myself,3.0
46579,social media is so bad for my mental health,2.0
46580,charmingrogue u r havin a go arnt ya lol ,0.0
46581,flosskebabs i wait with bated breath if thats how its spelt  im not too bad thanx up to owt interestingfun today ,0.0
46582,xxxsupermodel yankees are going down once more the evil empire will not rise this year ,0.0
46583,me sad,2.0
46584,jamescurtis yeah do it id like to have a laugh at work ,0.0
46585,mj just called  my week has been made i miss my cuz so much,0.0
46586,sing it robbie dont tell me just show me i already know lls ,0.0
46587,cannot do work while its sunny ,2.0
46588,and now cassie and her friends are laughing at me for posting stuff like my last post  ,0.0
46589,gotta go to college soon  get my results tho  x,2.0
46590,i need some advice hello i have been struggling with depression for a year now but my meds have helped me my problem is i cant seem to find any work it is still hard for me to go out of the house so i have been trying to apply online  but nothing seems to work some of them need a starting capital why the fuck would i be looking for a low paying job if i had  to pay the premium some of them are scams and some of them pay like you are a slave maybe i am unlucky or maybe i just dont know any good sites but for  months straight i have been doing everything i can to earn something even take surveys i havent gotten a single penny i speak  languages the jobs i apply to are mostly translation ones but nothing works what would you guys recommend not neccesarily a translation job anything really something that anyone could do,3.0
46591, uhmmmmmm try the contents lol btw theres a spot open on the magic bandwagon do u wsna rsvp ,0.0
46592,i wish i could twitter from the book expo but the reception at the javitz is horrible   ,2.0
46593,eeen i know my friend tried to get it for free now but its being modified and he wont get it now  he was so excited but  ruined it,2.0
46594,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
46595,maddysen one of the most amazing pieces of music ever created ,0.0
46596,aned well thank you ill try and remember to put it somewhere ,0.0
46597,i wonder if illhave the time to celebrate my birthday this weekend ,2.0
46598,come faster july  ,0.0
46599,got some nice tiles in tile style  off so wallet hurting less this time  hours spent wondering around their wonderful showroom,0.0
46600,oktak hey thats not fair  we want to see it  ,0.0
46601,and sad that i gonna miss army wives ,2.0
46602,i dont really know what to write but been having a real shitty time lately been rejected from interviews for five years because i dont have any experience in the field arent they supposed to train you so ive been living with family just ruined my bicycle a few days ago and got kinda banged up too poor to go to the hospital so ive been trying to rest then father figure decided to yell at everyone that his house wasnt clean and i mowed the yard then swept and mopped the house while limping pretty bad due to the new injuries  aggravated injuries that i received years ago just feeling really angry with him and myself even though i take care of the house because nobody else will unless theyre yelled at its still not enough and he just stays in his room to play games mostly comes out to smoke drink eat or yell at someone my family stopped being a family five years ago and ive just been miserable ever since i dont belong here im only his son on paper and i dont feel like more than just a tenant i need to get out and im struggling to get somewhere i cant really take this anymore im tired of my parents just staying locked in their room im tired of his kids doing whatever they want yet i was beaten and grounded for every possible little thing that i did i wasnt allowed to have friends while growing up and hed actively take my flip phone away and block any number that he didnt recognise i cant think straight and im typing poorly im sorry i just feel like i cant do anything about this i left the house today to visit with other family and the moment i stepped through the door i needed to take antianxiety meds whenever hes home theres just this aura that hangs in the air that brings everyone down i start shaking whenever i try talking to him and i just cant get rid of this feeling of being worthless and not being able to get anywhere in life,3.0
46603,open the book finally ,0.0
46604,just realised i have some reading to do in tonights book clubif i decide to go ,0.0
46605,too good to be true hes up and crying already ,2.0
46606,laying in bed not wanting to get up and unpack or go to work ,2.0
46607,sitting out front of my office cant bring my self to go in tryin to step my employment up but it aint workin ,2.0
46608,gofastenergy that didnt have any where i went  because it is my fav fo sho,2.0
46609,thedavidblaise welcome to the blackberry world ,0.0
46610,what is one thing you are going to do to improve yourself  let me know what it is  ,0.0
46611,beauuuuutiful day ,0.0
46612,started wellbutrin today wish me luck im only  only ha feels like ive been alive forever sometimes and im at a point where if this doesnt work im not sure what im going to do ive got counseling in two weeks i just hope i start to feel better im really trying im just so damn aloneif youre alone too i feel you i really really do,3.0
46613,packing for boston  so excited,0.0
46614,now wants sushi ,2.0
46615,cant find paramore jo  help,2.0
46616,jb music will cheer me up ,0.0
46617,  royal mandarin with the santos kids im  ,0.0
46618,jewelmadrid bash miss you ,2.0
46619,markrglover no way thats insane well its an honour to pop your retweet cherry mark long overdue hee hee ,0.0
46620,mileycyrus hey  dont worry swt ure sooo gonna win in the mtv movie awards  i voted for u xd gd luck i hope u win  tc xxx,0.0
46621,mediamum hey now arent you supposed to be editing ,0.0
46622,on a date  star trek here we come,0.0
46623,marksedney lol  that rocks ,0.0
46624,sandeewcpl sandeeeeeee  glad yall made it bak safe shiiii   am,0.0
46625, and im just now leaving my desk  and just last week i was on a safari my how time flies  whats good for the weekend jbii,2.0
46626,i feel depressed at  birthday in  days me rn im doing stupid shit with the wrong people rn and it affects my mental health and my grades ik depressed but dont show it i dont wanna tell people bc they wont believe me bc i look happy my life us good but its not i honestly dont wanna be here i wanna just be alone with my self school is stressing me out idk what to do but i have really been feeling depressed lately but i hide it with jokes and a smile and when i get home from school i feel so tired and wanna cry but i stay strong because of all the things i have in life and think how good it is then i think about how shit it is right now i just really want it to end right now im thinking of ending it all on my birthday february  and if i do and youre reading this hi i love my family and my friends and i just wanna say thank you mom and dad for every thing you have done for mesincerely d,3.0
46627,im doubting my counselor    so this counselor is my first step in getting help ive had depression for a long time now but only recently realized this feeling is actually depression and not me being an over all sack of shit ive had two sessions with my counselor who is a licensed psychologist the past session she brought up my horoscope to explain parts of my personality then she brought me to another room to show where we would be next session there is a chair with a mat that has amethyst crystals inside of it which she says is a healing crystal there is also a magnetic mat she says will make me feel the most relaxed i have ever felt    i never bought into this horoscope and crystal mumbo jumbo i am a biology major so i like to deal with things that are proven effective and factual i do think crystals and the like can work for people if they believe in them like a placebo effect but i never believed in horoscopes    should i stick with this and just try it out or find a counselor that i believe in all of their methods i do like this counselor and think she gives good advice other than the horoscopes and crystal stuff also she has her heckin good therapy dog there at every session i know this is a more personal decision i kind of just want to hear other experiences i feel ive been really lost in this process with no one else i know going through counseling and the process with getting help for depression ,3.0
46628,no energy after work i barely have the motivation to go to work but not going gives me so much anxiety that i really force myself after work however there is no energy left most of the time i eat something microwaveable or ready made and immediately take a shower afterwards so i can hop into bed then its hours of dreading tomorrow where it will repeat itself most of the time i fix the household over the weekend so this lifestyle is kind of manageable i just wished i didnt dislike life most of the time ,3.0
46629,the weather is insane god it is one of my prayers that you replenish the ozone layer   httptweetsg,0.0
46630,macsheikh  i know  if i get  im happy ,0.0
46631,this is real this is me  hiyajenny nawww im like so much taller than you  when me and claire come to ,2.0
46632,council has dug up the footpath at my place and ripped the nature strip to shreds i only just mowed it sunday  ,2.0
46633,corona virus is spiraling my life out of control the one time of the year i look forward to is the spring the only time out of the entire year that anyone sees me smile i got word today the season is getting canceled and i dont know what to do no one cares about it as much as i do and its gotten to the point where i dont understanding the point of life i just want to be fucking happy for once but that never happens shit like this is gonna end up in me blowing my brain out i just want to scream and let it all out but at the same time just end it ,3.0
46634,going to bed so sleepy now ,0.0
46635,another day at work going to the orthodontist today popped a bracket already ,2.0
46636,ok so how do i post a photo from lappy on here cant c button  it ,2.0
46637,at saras softball game shes playing  base and first time up she got a hit she still has it ,0.0
46638,chaser they didnt have a musical today ,2.0
46639,i feel like waking my baby up i miss him ,2.0
46640,shawnyboy ive been looking for one since i upgraded but have yet to find anything ,2.0
46641,my anxiety today is out of this world 🙄😭,2.0
46642,i am a brighton belle   x,0.0
46643, do you like dogs plz look at my dog   is he cute x ,0.0
46644,loves airports  idk why,0.0
46645,amandadiva unpaid internships r ok  but not interntional ppl am internin n dc  summa amp id b damn if i tuk it if it wuz unpaid ,0.0
46646,dritor mornins sunshine   thanks for the mental boost on a mondayhope youre having a good morning as well    nice shirtwink,0.0
46647,sambays speaking of juice there is cranberry in my fridge right now ,0.0
46648,momdel look at it this way the desert does exist and it barely rains i would prefer to have more than enough water than not enough ,0.0
46649,broke down in class too stressed my life is a sob story even started hurting myself i screwed up i screwed up a lotnever been into selfharm always considered myself a strong personality who took insult from nothing and no one a charismatic character but i screwed upi know im a really fucking ugly guy no doubt about that everyone says it and people love to exclude my miserable selfpitying existence im still coping and all but i did find myself someone who isnt very pleasing in this sense either so whatever i suppose i got lucky but now im just unhappy i feel restricted in a relationship with someone to whom i feel little physical attraction if any and i feel even worse for judging her appearance i feel restricted in my shitty afternoon call center job i feel restricted and awful in my engineering school since my grades are plummeting like never before at this rate there will be no high school graduation no university no good job no manifesto and no joy in lifeim only  and already i am tired of living worst of all i started cutting myself for comfort i never thought id start doing something so fucking stupid its so easy now doesnt even hurt anymore like what the hellbroke down in class maths prof took me to the side asked whats up couldnt stop the damned tears insulted god while i was at it too prayed to die why am i so weakso im kind of screwed i dont know the way yet again dont know what im trying to achieve here but anything will help any words of consolation any guidance anything im asking for a lot i know but fuck me if its a last resort,3.0
46650,i havent been this tired in a long time but i havent been this happy in a long time either ,0.0
46651,on bus so tired heading home accomplished almost everything i wanted to havent checked twitter from phone too expensive ,2.0
46652,skinnypiease thats great likewise for me im not one to let depression amp self harm kill me tho i continue to do so,1.0
46653,  my lil fucker chino  hes so big now,0.0
46654,robpattznews thanks for the update ,0.0
46655,haisha cherry coke never wrote me back ,2.0
46656,i was so surprised this morning indeed was nice though ,0.0
46657,first official day of summer feels nice to do absolutely nothing and just chill ,0.0
46658,i want to die i want to kill myself i feel worthless most of the timei do stupid fucking shit and i dont care about myself i want to end it all i want it all gone im sick of living i feel like killing myself is the easiest way to get out and stop the numbness the only thing thats keeping me alive is the worry that it will greatly affect my family and girlfriend what should i do,3.0
46659, i do not ,2.0
46660,jim lind playing live now  come join in the music for the next  hours   livemusic,0.0
46661,tnb howarewe  on my first stella of the day feeling grand ,0.0
46662,kbkarma yeah just saw it on someones twitter ,2.0
46663, didnt get much sleep again cos of the flippin neighbours grr time to work again ,2.0
46664,irs wants to tax company cells as a fringe benefit   ,2.0
46665,katithompson good stuff youll have to tell me about it tomorow ,0.0
46666,nickylovesmcfly good plan  of yours not mine obv  i wasnt in for the media one so its crap ,0.0
46667,i just bit really hard on my fork ,2.0
46668,took zyrtec clearly isnt working im hungry and tired ugh curse stuffy noses and drippy eyes ,2.0
46669,nikkiisawake yeah the government should but theyre too busy getting supporters for the election hahaha ,0.0
46670,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
46671,thaiiii its a samsung  inch led tv reg price is  and we got it on sale for  let me know no pressure if you cant tho ,0.0
46672, n thanks for caring  nobody has really said anything or asked other than jessy,0.0
46673,sadcollegegrad i feel your pain  good luck with the fireworks,2.0
46674,itchy boobs ,2.0
46675,bteneshab good luck with your test and im sure ill ,0.0
46676,i dont think i like the saw ride at thorpe park the tv ad makes me feel sick so goodness knows what the ride would do ,2.0
46677,looks like the step brother was already dead o  supernatural is the best eva ,0.0
46678,trentreznor big ole line of conga rats to you sir  keep up the good work ,0.0
46679,like that cowering creature shameful and alone there are days when i feel just i dont even knowi am that shameful naked disposable creature in a nothingroom there are black walls around me no windows no air nothing else i breathe very slowly with weight hinging down to the pit of my stomach every time the room is black there is really no light and my stomach feels like an empty void getting up from my bed is like walking from one black corner to another whats the pointthey tell me i feel that way because of chemicals in my brain and neurotransmitters that i just need medicine you cant fix trauma with medicine you dont understand i was screamed at i was bullied and i was raped you think your reductionist motherfucking worldview can help me i am too tired to argue just leave me alonethe truth is i am safe in my black room it has no colour but i am used to no colour you know i dont know what blue and purple feels like they are all just dead words without meaning to mebut at the same time i am not numb i feel very deeply it overwhelms me drowns me i dont like it i just want it to end suicide is an option but apparently its a permanent fix and my problems are temporary the truth is my life consistently bad luck one after another is enough evidence the universe doesnt care and maybe life itself is the problem but no i cant commit suicide i dont have the will to i am crushed between depression and continuity one day i would like to stop drowning in this every lasting blackness i would like to leave this black room but i cant do it alone i need help but i also know there is no help they will tell you there is help and people care but in reality they just want you to continue living because they want to selfishly protect their own preciousness of life and their stupid optimism they dont want to be like me so they tell me things will be better how fucking dare you try to help me out of pity but i guess thats okay thats how it works for them i want none of it i dont want to be loved i just want to be understood i want to scream my sorrows and i want someone to hear them but how can i how can i how is it possible these words they just stand to nothingness they are just to oblivion like the billions of depressive journal writings they are nothing nothing just so alone and abandoned i dont want to experience this depression but i am sorry there is no escape it is an eternity of blackness and they would like to tell you its not but it is its permanent and it is not okay i am like that cowering creature shameful and alone in my black room,3.0
46680,hate hate hate i live the most ordinary of livesi have a boring office job sitting in a cubicle from  to  i am married and were expecting our first child i am not rich but financially stable enough to secure our current lifestyle i have friends in a matter of speaking i have hobbies or shadows of themand yet i hate myself and what ive becomei loved live during my school and university days i had fun going out learning new things fantasizing about how my life would be going people called me friendly and outgoing if a bit introverted but the moment i graduated and was thrown into this   life all of that enthusiasm all of that magic it disappeared and what was left was dullness and apathy and hatei hate getting up at  every morning chugging down a cup of coffee and getting to work i hate doing the same repetitive shit every day monday to friday until five when i can go back home i hate cooking when i come back home i hate that every day is the same i hate that there is nothing of the magic left which i used to love about lifei used to love eating but now i wish i could just pop a pill like in the jetsons because there is no enjoyment left in food not even in what used to be my favorite dishes and i only eat because i have toi used to love books but now i just glace over pages on the train on my way to work just so i can say im still reading i dont dare to touch my favorite books anymore because im afraid if i read them again they will use their magic and i the fond memories of themi used to love writing and was full of ideas finished four full novel manuscripts during my uni years but now i havent written anything in over a year hate my stories and have deleted everything i had written as a student because i couldnt bear looking at it againi used to love music but now even bachs cello suites of shostakovichs  which used to send a shiver down my spine every time dont do anything for me and if at all only run in the backgroundi used to love video games but now i can rarely invest more than an hour into a game before i get bored with it and never touch it againi am  years old and i have been going through this for almost ten years now i hate everything i have become and more than anything i wish i could go back to being a kid or a student when i knew other feelings than hateevery time i feel sick and go to the doctor i hope he tells me i have cancer every time i cross the street i hope some truck runs the red light and kills me every time i go on a plane i hope it crashes every night when i go to sleep i hope a hidden brain aneurysm ruptures in my head and kills me before i wake upthe only reason i havent killed myself is because of my wife and my childtobe but i can feel this bond weakening i just know that one of these days i will realize that i hate myself more than i love them,3.0
46681,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
46682,aaahhh snow warning issued  already feels like its snowing  ive got the fire stoked and dogs and cats inside ,0.0
46683,more than a third of teenage girls experience depression new study says httpstcoygxgpnodit,2.0
46684,i think from now on im bringing my camera everywhere i go besides school  haha ,0.0
46685,at the gym w my red nikes and fave red shirt burning calories n shaking off stress  meeting  love it,0.0
46686,i used to have fight in me now im just numb im trying to deal with this but i just feel like the world winsi feel completely ignored a shell of a personi used to at least try to engage with people try to date etc but i dont anymoreive taken every fucking pill and been toso many different doctors i cant count them all i had an attempt a few years ago i now have a child single dad and i would have been dead a long time ago if not for himi know this is all depression talking i want to get better but apparently not enough to do what i need to do to get my fucking mess of a life in order ,3.0
46687,chest pain help has anyone ever found anything that even slightly helps the chest pains that are a result of their depression that awful heavy feeling and tightnessive been dealing with it for years when im extra depressed but have yet to find relief i searched the sub but couldnt really find anything other than dae type posts ,3.0
46688,ugh anxiety sucks why has it chosen tonight to hit me,2.0
46689,rt sadhgurujv if you want a great nation you must do something to produce great human beings there is no other way ,0.0
46690,loonymoonydoll i swear this is worse than the teen choice awards ,2.0
46691,not tired at all but its def bed time   gonna fall asleep with quotthrough the fire amp flamesquot stuck in my head,0.0
46692,what fewer women in stem means for their mental health httpstcoxkckrwgots edchat edtech ,2.0
46693,  brittany amp i when we were little ,0.0
46694,done dont know about this grant park thing the sky looks like its about to open up ,2.0
46695,what do you make of this friendship hello even though no one might reply ill still type thisso like one of my best friends to me at least not sure whether its mutual or rather favourite friends checked in on me but i always gave the same answer and i kinda told her to give up on me again because its probably really tiring for her and then she got annoyed bc she said its her choice whether shed like to care or not and well usually in the past i would have been touched but this time not sure whether its because of my medication that i just started i was a little upset bc i feel tired of trying so hard for her not to hate me and she probably doesnt but she gets annoyed at me sometimes and i feel shitty about it and sometimes i feel like i cant be myself and even though maybe my thoughts can get a little warped sometimes i cant read whats going on most of the time and i think i am tired but yet i just want to fix this entire thing bc its so damn importantis this unhealthyand now idek if shes ignoring me or giving me space or the sheer fact that i typed something that may or may not require a reply but honestly idk if we are okay theres nothing for me to apologize for so im just left hanging loli feel like i owe her so much and also she does mean so much but idk why i keep tiptoeing around her and get nervous and im so upset honestly to the point that i cant study and my test is tomorrow and im pretty much screwed more annoyed at myself for being so affected tbh,3.0
46696,erinbury lol yes i paid a visit to hammam spa beforehand ,0.0
46697,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
46698,jennettemccteam   really good i love this one ,0.0
46699,going to bed im a lameo with a  job ,2.0
46700,feeling like i am simply existing to fulfill some purpose instead of living prosperously i dont care about myself and never really have the only thing that excites me is being able to impact other people positively but i feel like everyone around me is abandoning me ive felt this my whole life i feel like every decision i ever made or make is for someone elses benefit lately its taken its tole on me most days i feel like i want to fulfill my meaning of life so i can finally rest im terrified of my growing weariness and what it could bring me to in the future,3.0
46701,life is hard ive been going through a lot almost all my life but for the past  years as i have thought it has gotten better its really gotten worsei finally started taking medication celexa and it didnt work out so i got put on a different one and so far its okay but when i got out on my doctor told me to start at  for two weeks and if that didnt help much to bump up double at  days so on the  day i upped the meds because i felt like i needed it idk how the hell i feel suicidal hopeless depressed flat out frustrated i just want things to get better i feel like time is not on my side right now lol,3.0
46702,college rejection i am  years old  in a couple of months today i got rejected from all my choices all multiple state collegesin hs i was a b student i got accepted to a local private university with partial scholarship at the same time my parents got foreclosure letters i took out loans to cover the rest about  my second semester there i did poorly i lost my scholarship i then took out loans to cover  semester i took a  loan thinking that id do well because the loan would act as a push for me to do well i continued attending i was wrong my grades were terrible i dropped out after receiving my grades i had  of debt and a terrible transcript i applied to transfer a state school rejected i spent spring  pretending to my parentfamily and friends that i still went to private university i didnt not want my parents to deal with the house and my schooling i was also ashamed i did not have a job the whole time i spent trying to go to the gym going to the movies by myself local city by myself looking for a job and failing i thought about killing myself i could not imagine coming forth to my parents that i dropped out due to shitty grade and having no job i applied to a community college and got acceptedsummer  i got a part time joboff the books and was looking forward to going to school i planned to leave my friends i did not like what they were doing drugs and hanging out with hs kids and so i then registered for fall  i left my job due to them not paying me on time and not giving me hours then i got the bill i could not afford it to get state price for school i had to send in a form to prove i live in state i did not know this and the deadline passedso for fall  i pretended to go to school again i thought about suicide again i did not want to keep pretending i wasnt a drop out with no job i deleted my social media accounts slowly and then november i deleted my friend group chat january  i broke down embarrassed and ashamed i told my parents everything they were surprisingly accepting i was relieved i registered for spring  finally in class again after a year things were looking up however when i went to look at my classes i noticed i had fs i looked in further and i saw that i owed money to the school i registered for fall  and never dropped so i owed money and was given fs wu to be exact and now my new transcript is shit my parents gave me money to pay the old amount and new semester fine i said i kept taking classes mostly bs and cs some as then fall  i got a d in  a class important to my major computer science my gpa was a  winter  i took two classes and got my gpa to a  i also applied to state colleges in jan  since i am getting my as after this semestertoday i got my answers all rejected i feel sick i do not know what to do im venting here because i can tell my parents that i have nowhere to go next semester i am jobless and pathetic i do have energy to go to the gym or out i hate the way i look and fell all the time i havent had friend in over a year no one to talk to i dont know what to do ,3.0
46703,lamonifinlayson  watching the awesome lightning that has been going on for like  hours haha what are you doing,0.0
46704,caseysevenfold if you download the the victorv podcast off itunes number  i think it has the whole video on there  ,0.0
46705,moved to new city extremely depressed afraid and restless i just moved to a new city from my previous place which is the midwest i was completely accustomed to my life there now i am in this huge city struggling to find a grain of sanity i feel like a i am going mad i have this strange fear this strange fear of death as if the city will kill me something bad is going to happen i dont know anyone here and i feel so lonely and horrible all the time its affecting my work too but i am somehow holding on i feel like crying all the time i feel like giving up on my career i feel i have done a huge mistake by sharing an apartment i dont want to come home to my apartment staying in the workplace whole day is physically draining i dont know why i just want to run away i want to escape from this horrible feeling i dont know why i am becoming like this,3.0
46706, but it doesnt matter  i cant help it anymore i know its gonna be cool but i wont study in rigaobviously,0.0
46707,imalexevans dear imalexevans you have such a beautiful mind you write with such compasion and have wonderfull things to say ,0.0
46708,the time my mom broke me further than i already was so we were driving to the store and i dont really remember what exactly we were talking about but it ended up with her saying well those pills they gave you for your anxiety and depression worked i mean look at you your better nowlet me just say that the first and only time i was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression was in my freshman year of high school since then i have definitely have not gotten better all through high school i was a complete mess i would fall asleep crying every single night and wake up feeling so drained i would miss at least one day of school out of every week sometimes two my grades were dropping i would spend my summers crying too it was just so terrible and to this day i am still struggling with it so when she said this to me it was like my heart broke all over again actually it was like she ripped my heart out and crushed it with her foot it was so hard for me to open my mouth and say something anything i literally just wanted to cry my eyes out and scream out to her how not better i am how ive cried so much that i physically cannot shed another tear how empty and numb ive become because of how many people have broken me how ill ive ever wanted was for her to notice how terribly sad i am and let me cry in her arms telling me that everything is going to be okay that i was going to be okay because she was there now but all i could do was sit there trying so hard not to cry with my jaw clenched because if i moved it in the slightest i would fall apart sorry this was very long i just had to get it off my chest,3.0
46709,neonrose yes that far ,0.0
46710,love moon bounces  taking a shower cuz im all gross then sleep then graduation ,0.0
46711,im so fuckin drunbkkkk but i fuckin love my babyyy likeon some seious   off to sleep nightr my twittlw tweets  ,0.0
46712,nesssp haha what pics from today lol howd they scare the shit outta u ,0.0
46713,im depressed i dont know what to do im french so sorry for my englishim  near  and its my first time posting on redditmy only family is my mother and for a long time i tried to help her to get out of depression and i didnt achieve that i lost myself tear come out just saying thatuntil i was  years old me and my mom were happy she was a scientific and i was proud of her i was lonely and it was the same in the  years after that but i was happy but it didnt take long to the world to take everything from me my mother lost her job in part because of me she couldnt get me a babysitt while her boss did that on purpose to get her fired she couldnt let me alone i could have killed my self not on purpose but i was hysterical surexcité so my mom lost her job of scientist because of me we did go to newjersey an island because my dad was there and could help me and my mom but he was alcoolic and was aggressive so we needed too go away we went to france because there was my mom parent but they didnt helped her and depressed her and i from there bloqued my emotion to help her and in france i got bullied everywhere i went so i shut down myself even in the nightmare where i was i didnt cut myself and didnt tried suicide to protect my mother since last year i moved on and got friends it feeled weird i even got a certain security and confidence in me my best friend i spent every time with him went on another high school because of his parents and i felt lonely again i got a crush on a new girl which is really cute and beautiful and since the star of the year i spent every time with her and there is the problem at the start i just become her friend and a girl friends of her was really tactile and loved her she said it to me and i was jealous we were  in love of this girl the girl above me and a guy the guys was very tactile with her and was trying to seduce her and i preferred to not be tactile in the start and to see if she would like me but seeing this dude cuddling her and her friends cuddling and not having that hurted my feelling and at one moments she understood that i was in love with her and promised that the two other were only friend and the guy was like a brother and i was more likely to be the loved one but what was my surprise to heard just before the holy days that she was testing with the guy and at that moments i cracked for the first time because of her i started to hurt myself and did not eat one day on two and put myself on extreme sports il lost  kg in one week in the vacation they stopped and she said that it didnt work because even at the start she did not have feeling for the guy but her friends forced her to test so naive as i was  started to be more with her and it was like that in about  month in each week passing from joy and expecting that she loved me to no after that i tried to stop to love her impossible one girl was loving me and i think i had feeling for her i didnt had a girlfriend before so we started to date and the other girls started to become more and more close to me she started to love me and like the selfish man i am i quit the other girl for the one i love the relation lasted  weeksshe said that she couldnt because of her depression it was another breakdown for me i lost weigh but we still did a lot of thing of lover sometime when we were alone we kissed cuddled and since a little time she is in deep love with me and we talk every day saying i love you etc so we are lover but not in a relationship so there i am passing from happy to depressed i literally hate myself because im not perfect and i do not do everything perfectly i got a lot of trauma and forget everything even the face of my loved one its not a question of a problem of memory but i just forget because its better sometimes i remember depressing thing that happened to me and crybecause of my mother and environnement i blocked myself to everybody and cant feel affection without my lover i cant live with being happy every time the worlds says only no and punish me i dont even know why i post here and if it will be read sorry for waisting your time,3.0
46714,just called in today and i havent even been at my job more than  weeks i couldnt get up today for the life of mei feel incredibly guilty but i go to schoolwork full time and am also the sole caregiver of my dog i take her running about  miles a week i also clean my apartmentcook alone because my boyfriend doesnt really like to do either i love him but he splits half the rent weve been together six years im not good with breaking cycles ampnbspit just blows my mind how i can run a  minute  mile run then do yogaab exercises for  minutes after all of this after i get off work im not lazy i just dont know how to cope with my cptsd sometimes im very clean and i keep straight as but sometimes i just cant get up i dont eat enough because of my depression and i get tired because of not eating enoughampnbspi just really dont want people to think negatively of me and for this to impact things,3.0
46715,at the dentist my mouth is numb ,2.0
46716,grrrr she not replying  trish i dont like the green backround,2.0
46717, im glad i didnt offendit just came out so harsh coz i know how dangerous a world without quotchoicequot isespecially for women ,2.0
46718, having a good day so far i am fighting off a cold ,2.0
46719,anybody having trouble renting movies from itunes with either iphone  or just desktop  wanted to watch gran turino on plane tomorrow ,2.0
46720,is school the best way ive been trying this semester to get good grades previously throughout high school my grades ranged from the  to the  not great so i wanted to make up for iti got all  for the first few assignments and then i got a  this dropped my mark from a  to an  it would take   grades to make my mark back to where it was beforei know i most likely did not do well on the two other assignments as well i cannot see the grade yet they are not marked so i might not even end up with over an i need an  or over to get into the college course i want but i obviously want a higher than minimum grade and a  seemed pretty good although i will probably end up in another depressed period spanning a few months and will kill my grades due to unsubmitted work like most semesters i dont know how to get out of this cycle it really sucksit would also be really nice if coursework didnt count for so much of our final grade usually coursework is  of our grade usually  the exam is then  and the culminating if there is one is worth  i dont see the point in trying if one screw up can mess up your grade so bad,3.0
46721,it is fantastic being home alone and blasting my music  i havent been able to do that in a long time,0.0
46722,im so annoyed lol i wanted to find the tweet but i searched for otabek anxiety and got nothing ,2.0
46723,ktlamorningshow have a great workout  gayle ,0.0
46724,rt mxhaei you know what sucks more than social anxiety       😜   👊     ¯    ¯being self aware that youre wasting your li,1.0
46725,a hobby to feel better about myself cooking hello redditors im a college student and living with my parents when i lived in a dorm with  other idiots to shear a flat i could barely be out of my room at first because many of them were terrible and horrible people but later for depression and cook for myself in a kitchen we sheared i ate noodle in my room almost everyday to be alive and i had been sick all the time probably because of the lack of vitamins and so on i think it worsened my depression now i live with my parents in a tiny flat but im happy well at least happier than before and as much as my depression allows me to be and i cook for myself and my parents twice a week its a nice hobby i guess you know i feel like i can be productive and doing something not only for myself but also for someone who cares about and worried about me do you guys have some hobby which makes you feel better about yourself like my cooking ,3.0
46726,has anyone else noticed that being depressed is like the cool thing now  being sad and being depressed are not the same  i dont think a ton of people understand this ,3.0
46727,okay when i use quottwitterifficquot my outgoing tweets are green and incoming is red but with twittercom i dont see any incoming ,2.0
46728,xgala someone points to self loves that show ,0.0
46729,watchinq bed time storys and takinq a nap ,0.0
46730,is as angry as fuck with a certain quotregistered training organisationquot ,2.0
46731,intense lightning storm so cool ,0.0
46732,its a beautiful morning sat at the bus stop watching the commuters get stuck at the lights terminator  in a couple of hours ,0.0
46733,daveysuicide xxoosee you later ,2.0
46734,my mom is singingshes alright not the best at the  song shes singing ,0.0
46735,the collective refusal to acknowledge that our parents didnt treat us right is rly sad and i know part of it stems httpstcohlihbzerpx,1.0
46736,gregmolyneux the concept was new to me up until about an hour ago when i got invited ,0.0
46737,rt mrbqc me wow i feel amazing today 😄😊my depression ,0.0
46738,saw old roomate kate  things were pretty awesome k serendipity ,0.0
46739,gahhhh they didnt pick up  i just wanna get this over with,2.0
46740,therapy doesnt work when people take therapy they usually tell them their problems and the therapist helps them but when i do i want tell him my problems but when i do the lies just sputter out i cant tell him the truth for my life i cant tell him ive almost attempted suicide and and just barely didnt go through with it i just dont feel safe doing so i cant feel safe doing so i lie lie lie i need help but i cant get it there are times where he can probably tell because no matter how many times i say im doing fine i still freeze and the atmosphere goes dark hes sending me to a psychiatrist in march but im not sure i can last till then i am on the brink of suicide and i dont know what to do i can tell my friends because i know i can trust them but i dont know how to trust a random adult with a psychology degree but my friends dont have that degree so i dont know how to do anything im falling faster and faster down the spiral i dont even have a real reason to hate my life my family is pretty good and financially well off i just live in perpetual anxiety stress and depression i have so many irrational fears recently one happened which has caused more but no one really sees it i act happy and make self deprivating jokes to hide it so adults dont really notice and my therapist doesnt know im getting worse im sure other people have it worse but im dying and i dont know what to do if someone could help please do for now i wish the best to everyone else who suffers i hope your life is better than mine,3.0
46741,leesaamarie good luck  the dentist  i hate going to them ,0.0
46742,i miss the podcast last night    i was at workand i miss cci have to set my cell for cc tweets,2.0
46743,um i want cuddles thanks ,2.0
46744,alexharrellz you can tell her that you will give someone a bj to get the jb tickets   ,0.0
46745,devonhernandez havent yet  i need to do that today,2.0
46746,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
46747,jaciewacie y so dead i jus came out from exams ,2.0
46748,is it ok for me to wish for my parents to die i am  male from india and am living in the us since last year with my parentsthey have always had domestic quarrels and sometimes violence since as far back as i can rememberthis had scarred me for life as i didnt have confidence to talk to any person i never had a girlfriend nor did i pursue any marriage choicesi did separate from them for a brief period while i left to train for it at a different city after my bachelorsbut then our immigration case which was pending since more than a decade in backlog was processed and we all migrated to the ushere the tides turned dramatically at least for my lifei moved here to study but i was forced to drop out because my father wont spend any money to care for my ailing motherfurthermore my relatives here abandoned us and even troubled us to the point where they destroyed years of relations and blood linesadditionally i was forced to take job at a crappy place to bear the burden of my narcissistic father my obsessive mother and my innocent young brothermy father is more than just frugal but a misernot caring for his family he buys properties in india while his family suffers herehe wouldve killed my mother by not providing her with day to day food and sanitary products had i not abandoned my education and put my hard earned money to provide for herhe constantly troubles teases and incites quarrelhe acts in mischief making my mother shout loud at him and disturb the neighborsmy mother on the other hand is so obsessive that she sometimes wont even let me sleep alone and would herself sleep on the floor of the roomshe always would be pin pointing at me for trivial stuffwould not let me study nor work in solacegranted this is an over affection of motherly nature but coupled with my fathers mischief is disasterousshe can argue with him for days im not kidding on end without even eating a morsel of foodi can continue for pages but coming to the gistmy father was doing the same mischief again and my mother called the police on him saying that he is abusingshe intended verbal police assumed physical the children and her and not letting us live peacefullythis happened at the end of a shouting session between my parents which all happened in the apartment i leased on my crappy salary from the job i had to take after i had lost all hope in life and no relative or friend would help usthe police had to write down my name as well as my parents and confirmed that as long as no one physically assaulted anyone they cant do anythingbut if they continue shouting and the police has to come again theyll take one of my parents awaynow i am again scarred to life as i was when i was a kid a teenager a young adult and now againcountry doesnt matter relations dont matter dreams and aspirations dont matter to my parentsthey are narcissistic and obsessive foolsdespite being a university topper and despite being a top notch computer programmer i couldnt fulfill my dream i couldnt study for my masters and i couldnt prepare myself and work for a good companythey have now spoiler my life again and possibly for the last timenow i wish they would just leave me alone and be off on their ways,3.0
46749,i should go more easy on who i chose to follow on dailybooth but you all look so awesome and i dont want to upset you ,2.0
46750,hi i was wondering if i can be a guinee pig in testing the iphone  jb and unlock  im outside us and with an unactivated  ,2.0
46751,misskelicious hun you in library or at home  lol didnt reply me one ,2.0
46752,i see you denver yay  so close ,0.0
46753,i dont know what to do im a  year old neet i dont have much ambition this isnt the way i want it to be i think about suicide but i dont want to do that i just feel trapped i live with my parents and i have no friends i constantly think about the mistakes i made and the sins i committed i cut myself for the first time last year and i regret it more than i can express i hate myself for putting those scars there i cant fully accept that i did it i didnt study in high school and my grades were poor i was a real loser in high school and you will have to take my word for it you wouldnt have liked me i was miserable and my mind wasnt all there i dont want to talk about it i went to community college for a few months once i didnt apply myself at alli cant bring myself to write about my social life i made a fool of myself so many times i cant face the shamesometimes i scream at the top of my lungs because i feel so overwhelmed i feel trapped my brain is always over stimulated i cant focus on anything what am i going to do with my life i fear that it will end in suicide,3.0
46754,planes disappearing gm bankruptcy newborn found in box what a start ,2.0
46755,working with tweet ,0.0
46756,i know im a tad late to say that my weekend was awesome  had the best sunday ever ,0.0
46757,im always feel hungry oh no its make me fat ,2.0
46758,im scared to call this director back about my show  i feel like shes going to be disappointed,2.0
46759, half sib told me that my father didnt want me etc  i let her have it    sad for dad,2.0
46760,no you are have something in your eye ,2.0
46761,nptnmkiii ya i dont know how much it costs and i thought it was last night but i guess im wrong thats too late for you eh ,2.0
46762,llshesadollll why limit your story to  ch tell all what is annoying you at wwwiamsoannoyedcom ,0.0
46763,lost my wallet last night ,2.0
46764,amberchildress thats a great idea to do the week before my furlough  ,0.0
46765,rt henereyg this is a sad story of c martin crokers last days this guy is hugely important to animation history arguably theres no a,1.0
46766,allergies make me feel like im going to sneeze up my brain ,0.0
46767,alot of work to do today shopping for more camera gear will have to wait till next weekend i think ,2.0
46768,ketamine for treatment resistant depression with the news going around with the new nasal spray im genuinely curious about trying it recreationally have twice nothing crazyhas anyone had any ketamine treatments for chronic depression currently on max dose lexapro amp  abilify and still feeling darkappreciate any insight chin up gang ❤️,3.0
46769,going home early couldnt take the pain grr stupid stomach flu ,2.0
46770,i want to watch star trek again ,2.0
46771,mileycyrus hey miley  how are you  the climb is a really beautiful song well done on the vid its beautiful ,0.0
46772, followers yay hampir  ,0.0
46773,in times of need no one will actually come through i am a doctor of pharmacy and am a registered pharmacist i have applied to well over a thousand jobs across the country i have spent  months after graduation unemployed and counting by the age of  i have had to endure more rejections than most people experience their entire lives im here to tell you the world is cold and you cannot rely on anyone to actually help you in a time of need when you need just one person to come through no one will actually be there that is all,3.0
46774,katherinemarsh lol oh yea that ,0.0
46775,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
46776, i left my husband major drama  so ill be single for the summer tour ,0.0
46777,rt sageroad sad for us in utah romney sucks ,0.0
46778,thats cool man it happens ,0.0
46779,is preparing for red bull soweto sessions  bmx boys are that quotdirtyquot pretty melissa likes ,0.0
46780,im going to keep growing out my hair and donate it to locks of love ,0.0
46781,riggster no idea sues been scared off because of a troll she knows who it is but wont sayconfusedcom ,2.0
46782,ashwee thanks my little crazy child  x,0.0
46783,my mind is my worst enemy my mind is my worst enemyim stuck here attacked by dark thoughtssubdued by peoples judgement that isnt really thereand beaten to my knees by the thoughts that i am not good enoughmaybe im just stuck into a trend of uncertaintybut and rather overtime i find its just my experience of longing for morei strive for something greater but recognize only miserable and defeating thoughtslosing my footing and ending up beaten by my own clever traps the traps of crippling negativity created by my own mindthat drag me like a savage monster that hadnt eaten in daysand as i grow my lack of confidence grows twice as fastdespite achieving a level of relative successattacking and downing phrases push my head underwater forcing a gasp for praise rather than being able to admire progresslike a miniscule character in a horror film i too feel like my chances of survival isnt realisticly plausiblein a sea full of sharks i am but a minnow without a findestined for a fate more cruel than mostso alas i survive and strugglegasp and claw for lifeonly to find a glimpse of positivitysurrounded by a world full of shitmy mind is my worst enemy,3.0
46784,kylarae yes they aree its funny to see the things they do ,0.0
46785,i want to go back to bed ,2.0
46786,first thunderstorm of the year  too bad its not overhead ,2.0
46787,just a med switch or something morevyvanse to generic adderal id been doing well on vyvanse but for  a month once the new yeardeductible started i cant afford it ive been through all flavors of depression in the last  years and this one is sort of a feeling like somethings missing a sadness more than just tiredness the only recent change has been the med change a couple weeks ago im incredibly sentimental the last week its like a longing as always its impossible to parse out whats an emotion born of dissatisfaction with my life whats normal ennui lack of exercise poor diet and whats from the med switch this bout has a very different quality than past depressive episodes in that its a longing feeling its like an intense need to be understood and appreciated and seen  since the switch ive been drinking too many energy drinks in a clear attempt to selfmedicate its  mg adderall and it was  vyvanse i stopped im also taking  mg duoloxetine  and  bupropion i tend toward a sluggish and overthinking depression thanks for listening,3.0
46788,i guess i done upset  ppl they done stopped following me ,2.0
46789,amandapalmer no chance of your divine cover of quoti know itquot from madonna   seriously id lose my shit,0.0
46790,hating gcse geography ,2.0
46791,why am i still here  why do i still have a feeling that i wont kill myself even tho i shouldve a long time ago every time when i start to feel that the pain is finally gone it comes back even stronger im so tired of this feeling are flying thru my head it feels like i cant control anything no more i see why people like simplicity in music or art or anything because it can be realized anyway you want and still enjoy it feels like im changing every  hours,3.0
46792,melissacarbone did the quotdepartmentquot get a raise i certainly hope so   ,0.0
46793,just got my nails done and in two says ill be in brooklyn cant wait ,0.0
46794,thoughts kicked back up by an argument i ejected myself from my friend group of  years after an argument with one member that essentially invited everyone to a party and then left me out no one mentioned it to me and apparently there was a conversation about whether i was invited or not but no one else really fought for me despite knowing it was sort of messed up to do so so after questions asked and various explainations essentially the friend having the party didnt invite me because he wanted to invite a person that caused alot of grief for me last year essentially hes made it clear hes always going to choose this person over me no matter what the thing is theres several accounts of the things that transpired between me and this person  but the friend has avoided the main issue the fact that he didnt invite me and it felt sort of shitty to not even be told and also an agreement between me and everyone else thats met him that on an emotional level he lacks alot of consideration for anyone elses well being all things ive brought up in a peaceful way initially because his opinion of this person is so strong hes been trying to gaslight me  somehow telling me that what i feel and what i went through isnt real despite his own friends confirming that as well as several other people around the thing is he wouldnt ask anyone when i told him that all the proof he needs is in anyone elses account of the matter because their perception will match up with mine making it clear that im not the crazy one with every mention of that hed just not address it but still persist that i connect with this other person that really put me through a situation of isolation when i was grieving and was just overall an asshole to me this entire conflict caused me so much grief and while i understand that no one is obligated to partake in a conflict that they dont want to i kept telling the other friends what was going on and wrong it was and they agreed at one point only and stayed silent every other time the midst of another obvious unfair treatment against me they wouldnt stand up i was going to meet up with everyone all together at some point to hash it out again  but i decided i had explained enough already and the main person i was having the conflict with just refused to listen to me he wrote me off as crazy despite any of my evidence and so i decided it wasnt worth the sleep i was losing trying to come up with more evidence to disprove that and cut him and everyone else off for just letting it happen as much as i love them and maybe they were just afraid or soemthing i was constantly saying that i didnt feel listened to  i was constantly making the extra mile to get them to say anything at all i was constantly let down by them  its funny because i kept mentioning how we literally all agreed that coming to him with anything personal is a bad idea because anything he says just makes us feel worse or the situation feel worse and maybe he should have a bit of introspection about that and thats exactly what he ended up doing because i felt so fucking gaslighted that ive been questioning myself and contemplating just ending it cause i see a pattern of situations in my life like this one and my bf and alot of other people around me tell me im sane but considering it was a pretty important friendship to me and no one really ever answered when i called for help i cant help but wonder if i really am or contemplate not living lmao considering this is one of many shitty friendships ive had in my life where ive obviously been fucked over and when i defend myself and others people either go against me or dont listen im just sort of tired of never being heard never having friends that are really there for me you know,3.0
46795,hopeless idealist hey whats up guys standard internet greeting i have always felt this lowly depression ever since i can remember my mind is too dark to allow me to feel happy for too long i dont think human society is very warm or welcoming i think when we wake up in the morning all we should say to each other is hey is everyone okay lets get some breakfast simple but some people would hear that and maybe call me a hippy or a wimp or a pussy those are some of the people i wish would just vanish from the earth i feel awful because i wish things were better where we all knew what to do and just did it without starting fights without name calling without comparing every little thing or feeling envious maybe life is doomed though to always be in flux up and down forever ,3.0
46796,is sooooo boreed ,2.0
46797,zeezooooo has a serious eye prblm min brp n she has a nu hobby playing w emoticons    stress,0.0
46798,bryanangelo is my husband i kindasorta love him back  ,0.0
46799,othatjo well it feels like monday at work over here ,2.0
46800,tinywinchester it just let me vote again i know im pathetic voting for myself ,2.0
46801,dennispillion wafflesauce ugh you people and your fancy trips to italy while im slaving away at this computer ,2.0
46802,horsekisser hes an amazing jockey saw that clydesdale commercial tooloved it ,0.0
46803,i need a friend i dont matter to my friends they dont care to talk to me and if they do its only about them i wish i had someone to talk to its depressing to be lonely,3.0
46804,yucki have to work tomorrow ,2.0
46805,got in his boat for a paddle and was chased by a sea turtlehmm  he swims faster than i paddle,2.0
46806,savevca lol  not for much longer  ,0.0
46807,chriskkenny why chris because its so in the money that it is painfully sad the arrogance of downer saturday was embarrassing,2.0
46808,tired of the yoyo im pretty sick of feeling fine for months and the just going back into the hole its a never ending struggle that i feel lind of done with,3.0
46809,going home nowboo  but im sure my followers wont mindill finally stop flooding hah mmwanted,2.0
46810,zenaweist they could also tweet beccaroberts ,0.0
46811,dshimoff ok thanks ,0.0
46812,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
46813,eliseland i think of my beaver heater everyday ,2.0
46814,woke up super late i go in at  im so rushed finna work all day  mampms sorry that ur kinda sick ,2.0
46815,the tees are here and i cant open the package  im gonna die,2.0
46816,oh my gosh i watched et today too and i think the racoon was trying to eat his face ,2.0
46817, your so clever ,0.0
46818,loving having long hair right now ,0.0
46819,sunderlandsmile the  is definitely a buzz but for a real buzz try the   now thats some car ,0.0
46820,its funny how the tables have turned when i was born i went through a shit ton of complications the doctor straight up told my parents i had less than  chance of making it my parents always say im a fighter and how proud they are of me for making it but now all i think about everyday is i should have been part of that ,3.0
46821,realbillymays sharks know how awful the english taste sully was safe the entire time ,0.0
46822,tartdarling how hot is it ,0.0
46823, well i watched the video to see selena again and again and again then the damn song got stuck in my head ,2.0
46824,what is your greatest fear greatest accomplishment now ask yourself what would it take to surpass both and lets get it people ,0.0
46825,am i regretting this must i regret it uhh never mind ,2.0
46826,my anxiety strikes sorry guys i have to go home mum needs me,2.0
46827,sometimes i feel that if i could cry it would make it all better i would just feel better and do better my emotions are flat and have been for as long as i can remember theyve been sliding down more than up for the last  or  months i just want to cry sometimes,3.0
46828,justdes aaaawwwhey babes  may your tuesday not suck ,0.0
46829, have a good dayand enjoy your quite whilst you can  xx,0.0
46830,its times like these when im so proud of being a twilight fan off now to watch the trailer as much as i can possibly watch it ,0.0
46831,happy mothers day everyone  and those of u who arent make sure u at least give ur mom a great big hug amp kiss amp tell her u love her,0.0
46832, hey im good sorry i took so long  reply  and im just chillin listening  music wbu,0.0
46833,three year later still an empty shell still going out a pantomiming my existence every day but ive empty since she left me three years ago today its strange having it all and losing it in one fell swoop to know theres an alternate reality extremely similar to my own where i may very be a father right now it sucks being in love with someone who you havent heard from in two and a half years and it sucks not caring about literally anything past surface level anymoresigh if someone could send me a few grand so i could travel the country and write a book thatd be great,3.0
46834,thankyou new followers  hit me up,0.0
46835,youquit bah it sucks ,2.0
46836,semiawkward day at least it ended with some dunkin donuts ,0.0
46837,crystalposey you are the google queen ,0.0
46838,rt electroboyusa mental health is not a dirty word we all have mentalhealth like we do physical health good or ill  prince william,1.0
46839,kichelle ty  it was time to switch it up from the old logo picture,0.0
46840,nkotbfangrl that cruise looked like so much fun i cant do that  im gonna try to find someone here to go with lol doubtful tho ,2.0
46841,jennbrow glad you made it home safely  hope you had fun tonight,0.0
46842,i hate the couple in front of me theyre eating fried chicken ,2.0
46843,there are interesting people in hyd hydtweetup ,0.0
46844,hulus movie selection sucks good thing they have season  episode  of burn notice ,0.0
46845,my internet no worky boo ,2.0
46846,on my way to work feeling like crap ,2.0
46847,im fucking trash thought i had a nice day with friends but now im home and i remembered i was trash  just ruined an overwatch match cause i cant control myself,3.0
46848,ohsweetnibblets sana i am soo scared its something to do with my dad ,2.0
46849,rt progsesh some good news people with hidden disabilities such as autism and mental health issues will be able to apply for bluebadg,0.0
46850,rt khediwal मुझे ताज्जुब होता है भारतीयों के सरकारी नौकरियां छूट और सब्सिडियां पाने के इस चस्के परयुवाओं के लिये मुफ्तखोरी और अकर्मण्,2.0
46851,  my meebo has gone bonkers i cant see any online friends ,2.0
46852,rt jelaflaree i hate having social anxiety,2.0
46853, exam and im pretty sure i didnt do well on this one yeah it was good ,0.0
46854,massu wow looks awesome ,0.0
46855,rt fireballbeto yall dont know anxiety until youre trapped at the bottom of this ,2.0
46856,now i cant wait until i can do  without walking  not too sure if thatll happen though ,2.0
46857,the odds are stacked against me an alcoholic dad an intellectually disabled brother and years of people bullying me relentlessly over having a slightly bigger cranium these are the things that ruined my life pathi never got any support system as a kid my grades went to absolute shit i lost all motivation im unemployed alone i have erectile dysfunction so i cannot connect with any women on a sexual level i havent had a relationship in  yearsmy family have made our peace but now im just stuck being a people pleaser im misconstrued as being lazy although i do try i feel useless at a lot of things maths has failed me thats pretty much the main point of a job as far as im concernedyet for some reason im not suicidal my life hasnt gone anywhere its just in a stasis my life is an absolute prison i could pack up and leave tomorrow and never look back but i have fuck all skills so i cant really adapt to a life on the run most likely i would just end up homelessso now i just sit here maybe wait for a job to come along take the occasional meaningless holiday and just live out my days in some jaded state of mind work stay in pub small town rinse repeat die,3.0
46858,megelin youre going to bed late and i cant help but get up at  now ,2.0
46859,i wish you were here tanyafw ,2.0
46860,indianajim hey just listened to the last few epis of aoij great stuff loved the defense of tee that was pure goodness ,0.0
46861,wastedlittledjs mcdonalds chips  and lol the cranberries h,2.0
46862,rt shumdarionews abuse mental health and racism are just some of the important topics that shadowhunters has covered in the little time,1.0
46863,its sunny and im stuck inside ,2.0
46864,im so tired  ,2.0
46865,cocoy the intertubes here is pathetic and slow  ,2.0
46866,die gconf die  is writing endlessly to my hd ,2.0
46867,hilm he sells both but he cant drink and drive cause we dont even have an rv ,2.0
46868,how do you start caring apathy is my greatest enemy and i must defeat it but how can i do so when i dont care enough to do anything my apathy is a biproduct of my depression and its the only thing holding me back from getting better,3.0
46869,concerned for a friend that has suddenly changed hello im not sure if this is the correct place to post please correct me if its not i have a very close friend who really liked to talk to me a lot i know shes had a hard life and shes talked about getting professional help but hasnt yet in general she was a happy person but as of late she was using a lot of self deprecating language all of the sudden she has has stopped replying to my texts as much she replys very short ive tried facetiming her multiple times and she ignores them and tells me that shes too tired from workshes never done this and im afraid for her does anyone have advice on how to approach this,3.0
46870,were at the vet now not looking good ,2.0
46871,i was sad and missing bts but now that i know what theyre doing i am completely okay with them being gone,1.0
46872,tonights lullaby dusting down the stars mobile   good night ,0.0
46873,jennifalconer i nearly cry everytime hes on screen hes too cute ,0.0
46874,rt bbylychee my depression and my anxiety ganging up on me while im out trying to have a good time ,2.0
46875,rt hugotunsent i am both happy and sad,1.0
46876,iremember when we used to be together thinking that you were amazing then i found out your a player  i know i wasnt the only who thought,2.0
46877,rt itsrjhill trying to put change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me by just standing httpstco,0.0
46878,sarahlucielle i fucking hate it when they do that ,2.0
46879,woke up wanting to die it seems like everyday recently ive been waking up with extreme anxiety and i just feel uncomfortable and i want to die yesterday i was fucking crying at work like a little bitch because i just dont want to be here i dont know what to do i feel unworthy of love i feel like i have nothing to look forward to i feel like im not progressing all i ever do now is sleep  hours and cry and then go to work i want to kill myself but im too lazy im having panic attacks all the time i dont know what to do im not gonna lie i know i have so many things to be happy about i have a roof over my head food on my plate clothes on my back family who kinda loves me friends who love me and a guy i like who likes me too none of it is good enough though i feel ungrateful because im so fucking unhappy what is wrong with me,3.0
46880,mamapack  so sorry mate x life doesnt half throw us some swervy ones sometimes  big love x,2.0
46881,is watching wolverine at last ,0.0
46882,how to look after yourself when you were neglected no long sob story i have a hard time with self care in every sense of the word  from brushing my teeth showering etc to buying clothes for myself to being motivated to go out and be social im so stuck and i need help,3.0
46883,theres a quiet drive ahead its gonna be beautiful today ,0.0
46884,global dance convention  so fun and hard advanced was really challenging but i still got threw it they were all big kids in advanced ,2.0
46885,hypercritical advice me hey ive really been struggling with depression recently ive been lacking motivation and have low self esteem them just workout eat healthy and think positively and you wont be depressed anymorethe same people saying this are same people saying suicide only passes the pain onto someone else nigga i thought all you had to do was eat healthy and think positively youll be fine if i die because all you need to do is those  simply things and youll be cured,3.0
46886, sam is talking to me about a very sad song shes crying over ,2.0
46887,pmdeleon almost everyone is sick in canada these days because of the swine flu im sickk too  i have a cold hope you get better ,2.0
46888,back to work on xtube camz ,0.0
46889,about to go to school hopefully i wont cry or anything in front of anyone  byes ttyl everyone,2.0
46890,congrats class of  ,0.0
46891,idk yesterday i took  shots of vodka and i dont drink i always think its gonna help my depression and it always makes it worse not to mention i can never sleep even after its worn off like rn its  am and here i am typing this my bf caught me cutting in the shower and do you ever just want the sun to come up ill be able to make bacon amp eggs then its all about little things like that i think,3.0
46892,just got home from the shore ,0.0
46893,already taken a morning run now headed out to run errandsi think i have an inability to sleep in anymore ,2.0
46894,ive only had  emotion for the last  months since around december  the only genuine emotion that i havent been faking  was love for someone else for a while it was mutual now they can stand to be with me and im back to feeling like an empty shell like the only thing to me is meat and skin im sorry my love wasnt enough,3.0
46895,my stomach hurts  but its okay cause i just bought lvatt ,2.0
46896,toy re sad,2.0
46897,is loving the stormy weather and cant believe that the wilsons are moving away   ,2.0
46898,rt mcall first hemp seeds sown legally in lehigh valley since depression,0.0
46899,sinking back into depression  have been having suicidal thought and i have been mentally unstable recently and i was wondering how well antidepressantsanxiety medication work or if there are any other solutions,3.0
46900,stefeto thanks  listening again now   oh the power of suggestion ,0.0
46901,coffeylicious fun i went with nana to get her tooth pulledi guess you had more fun today ,2.0
46902,i wish it was halloween everyday and maybe christmas too christmaween hallowistmas whatever ,2.0
46903,my guitar aint herew yet feel like i lost a limb ,2.0
46904,fashionistameg awe ,2.0
46905,it feels like the middle of summer its so hot hereoh noits just a flash ,2.0
46906, the final destination   in  this race track idea was awesome  august ,0.0
46907, im good thxooh ilove bbqs especially aussie ones hehetheyre yummy  the weather here in melbourne aus is freezing cold,0.0
46908,katerajoseph yo thanks for letting me follow you ,0.0
46909,keeptheheat hey alex i sent you the email about doing that video together its  by the way ,0.0
46910,i feel like i have no reason to be alive right now any advice other than suggestions that i try mindfulness or whatever is appreciated my life routine has collapsed my relationship with my parents has deteriorated into me screaming at my mother not talking to my stepdad and my dad trying to be helpful but in fact making things a damn sight worse things came to a head today at home and i walked out  ready to never come back and end it all obviously after some serious talking down im still just about here but the suicidal feelings are back again and my mother has no interest in trying to make things up with me  even though im so damn tired of being angry at her how do i make things bearable until quarantine lifts and life can go back to normal,3.0
46911,is about to kill off one of her favourite characters dawww ,2.0
46912,ooocoraxxx ive missed you so much omg i think im going to cry ,2.0
46913,babysitting till mother gets home from workno help today   ,2.0
46914,dropped her raybans into a bowl of hot soup arghhhhh the heartache now my wayfarers smell pepperish   httptweetsg,2.0
46915,holding it together i think im depressed again at least thats how it feels but worse when i was a kid i suffered from an abusive childhood i was depressed without knowing it now im almost finished with my degree trying my best for a promising internship at a prestige company i have friends i have hobbies i got some family members but everything feels to be breaking apart im exhausted everything that has been repressed is spilling on random moments sleep is difficult to grasp lately as deadlines keep me awake and anxious im thinking of leaving for a week to a foreign country i want to run away from it all i know i cant because every sabbatical i take will only put me more behind pile of the work and its a vicious cyclethe only thing that keeps me together is the hope that with time everything will get better and that with time therapy will help me but its really fucking hurt today,3.0
46916,missxmarisa so what are you doing for noundiessunday ,0.0
46917, dohhhhh gosh that sounds good right now even though its  am lol but i didnt eat dinner last night either ,2.0
46918,is sitting around on a saturday night bc she couldnt go to taken cadence ,2.0
46919,it hurts my head to think about the three papers and three projects i have due in the next seven dayslooking forward to summer ,0.0
46920,tendercakes wooowooo congratulations wish i could make it to the kitty tonight ,2.0
46921,rt  the official anime for humanity website is under construction please use this backup link anytime to find mental healt,2.0
46922,party was awesome ,0.0
46923,goinggg to bed leaving for softball tournament at  am ,2.0
46924,damienfahey did you see the interview with frangela about the horrors of the jungle lol i feel bad for them   ,2.0
46925,i have to hit it early tonight  no rm  have an early meeting in the morning hope there is no more bad news from tallahassee,2.0
46926,folkspod i wish we had one around here ,2.0
46927,rikkalaniz youre the best ,0.0
46928,showering then playing ,0.0
46929,work is painful im a full time university student and i work part time at my local ambulance department i generally have found good ways to deal with depression throughout the week such as dancing im a member of my universitys swing dance club and this tends to help but i work  every weekend restocking supplies for the ambulances and it gets super monotonous to the point where i dont have to think about it i also dont see anyone throughout my  shift it almost starts to feel like some sort of form of mild solitary confinement so i have almost nothing to take my mind off of things and so thats when i usually hit my lows ive considered taking my life soo many times while at work and i really hate it here however having consistent and flexible hours makes it the perfect student job the pay is also amazing its almost  minimum wage here so i dont want to quit because i need the money but i just dont know how to deal with all these thoughts that flood my mind so i just dont really know what to do,3.0
46930,danuts im always up at early o clock  its half  now  no sleep again grr but i have  nights off work woooo ,2.0
46931,scamtypes i know  dsa told my that you have a dry sense of humour like i do it was the query as to why the voice of chris rock ,0.0
46932,mmmgonna have me a goood lunch today ,0.0
46933,off to another fun day at work  really wish i could go to practise tonight ,2.0
46934, lol noo mr berst didnt read us the play     ohh and lol confirmation  yeaa poor quinton i feel so bad ,2.0
46935,therere many more rezeki waiting for you dont be sad 💜,2.0
46936,im exhausted studying everyday is kind of a worse work  im getting crazy ,2.0
46937,nothing makes me happy any more so i used to have some serious case of depression to point of suicidal after  or so years i somehow managed to pull myself out of it i got myself on track and was doing ok for a long time  sure everything wasnt the best it was far from it but i enjoyed my timebut last night i broke down and realised its back i sat in my chair in my room at university and cried i sat there for a while bawling contemplating everything and just wanted to disappear but i am refusing to let myself go back down into this pit of sht and trying desperately to find ways to get me to smilebut i cant and that is how it fully dawned on me that im lost i am totally and completely lost and right now i am laying in bed not moved at all missed an entire day of classes and barely ate anything  i dont know what to doi want to find something that can make me smile make me stop feeling like a piece of shit and make me want to actually be motivated to make me want to do fking something with my life but i cant even find something that i want to do  what i used to love to do isnt even doing it for me and i cant bring myself to speak to my friends let alone my familyand as i said i cant and i dont even know where to look next im not sure if i should even stay in university  i dont even know what i want to do when i wake up in the morningis there anything you guys know anything that can help me find something or someone just a tip will do please anything i dont want to go down this road again and im terrified of this sht and what will happen,3.0
46938,yesterday i was feeling fine and obsessing over whether i was faking my depression today im curled in a ball on my bed havent eaten anything and dont have the willpower to get up and play video games guess i wasnt faking itsorry for this garbage post i just wanted someone to hear it and i have no one to talk to,3.0
46939,coreyanderson kravmascara thank you for the followfriday shout out  ,0.0
46940,is looking after her poorly little sister   wheeey ill try come over next week and see you donz ellen etc x,2.0
46941,karenshandrow north paws lol ,0.0
46942,i am watching grease  ,0.0
46943,ilovethomas serufyoure not following me ,2.0
46944,rewindsushi was not  all dat ,2.0
46945,rt  i can feel my anxiety crawling back just by looking at this ,0.0
46946,does se have a pr company in the uk would love to try their new phone running  ,0.0
46947,hayles yup sure did i wish sumone would buy it for me  lol,2.0
46948,katierosss mateeee im going on holiday ima miss you  for a whole week,2.0
46949,how much of a geek am i  i wanna see the google wave demo but cant bc im on iphone   what do u think of it,2.0
46950,are meds truly worth the time and effort for dysthymia my psychologist wants to bring up anti depressants to my psychiatrist due to therapy not helping i said no because of anecdotal negative experiences of my peers while i know this isnt a good reason i still dont want to waste any time money and effort to do something that might help but also have adverse negative effectsi dont feel that bad besides the apathy and hopelessness so yes is it worth it,3.0
46951,dad just got home and i bought dolly coz shaun is in it lol ,0.0
46952, morningjust drinkin coffee and tweetin ,0.0
46953,wasted time i feel so fucking bad i will graduate from high school this year and i nearly havent done anything to build confidence or build my character i feel like i wasted all my time since  years old this feeling of regret is too much that it started to kill me inside,3.0
46954,rt  while i do believe there will be no blue wave its very important to stress that everyone needs to get out and vote for,1.0
46955, they told me he had already left for afterparties  so i hung out a while hoping they were lying but no luck ,2.0
46956,can i go home now i really dont wanna be here ,2.0
46957,madsencycles ha good point first ride on my madsen ,0.0
46958,i just replied myself ,0.0
46959,my teeth are horrible bc of me and i hate myself im a  f and i have ruined my teeth from drinking pop alot i need almost  to fix them on dentist  suggested dentures and i dont want those im broke with no real education background and i want to crawl under a rock i always had a nice smile yet i ruined it with my actions no one will be with a woman who has dentures ,3.0
46960, lol i was gonna go into town today but the weather is too hot so im gonna sit outside with my dog ,0.0
46961,its nearly  and im alone wish this wasnt the reality im single for like  hours and already hating it ,2.0
46962,good morning everybody and happy mothers day ,0.0
46963,im having more and more trouble finding reasons every day just gets harder and harder took get through rarely is it that i get a break and feel okay therapy didnt help and neither does my medicine i feel so alone and cant find many reasons to keep going on like this,3.0
46964,theroser tomorrow im supposed to start my period ,2.0
46965,i hit what i believe to be the tipping point ive been a lurker for a while about a year on and off and i think i hit my tipping point yesterday i have no motivation for anything and my grades are eh and i recently got caught for cheating in school its an automatic  for the quiz and when my parents and friends are informed about what i had done im just too tired to be more of a disappointment ive been depressed for  years and have told no one except my ex who could care less  my family and friends are great and everything seems well but this world is just torture for me i enjoy very little and see no future for myself i havent decided on how i will go out but im thinking hanging unless i can get the code for my parents safe for the pistol to blow a hole in my head  i dont know what im looking for in this post maybe some validation or other ways out or maybe i just wanted my story heard depression doesnt discriminate my family is high middle class i was never abused sexually mentally or physically my parents are great i have amazing friends i was never bullied and i have no student loans thanks to my parents i just have no desire to live as it seems ironically a waste of time to me btw im atheist so not scared of suicide punishment and as selfish as this sounds i dont care in the slightest of the effects my death will have on my families and friends probably sociopathic but i just dont  ,3.0
46966,rt incindia किसानों की कर्ज माफ़ी को लेकर सरकार के दोहरे रवैये से किसानों को जान देने पर मजबूर होना पड़ रहा है httpstcoypryvilwqd,0.0
46967,mileycyrus good luck tonight miley i hope you win ,0.0
46968,i wanna go on packing but i dont want to ugh im so complicated ,2.0
46969,samanthablews ahha i know i have prepaid broadband on my laptop and i used like  bucks of it just rewatching the mtv video  times ,0.0
46970,brainopera im so jealous i wanna mobile tweet too ,2.0
46971,ydurran plus i could just not bother and play video games instead ,0.0
46972,jitendraapi it surely wasnt curiosity last thing ill be curious abt ,0.0
46973,communicating marvelous  thanks,0.0
46974,zarabadoo yes but ill be at wwdc and flying back on saturday instead  check with  who is hopefully still doing it,2.0
46975,such a beautiful day already tgif ,0.0
46976,my mouth is so cut up  i fucking hate braces cant wait til i get them off gahh it really hurts,2.0
46977,katiesantry  hey heyyy girl happy  birthdayyy    i hope you have a great one ,0.0
46978, online training is the pits ,2.0
46979,heatherbestel oh so you all tweet from the same computer family bonding lol  tea i just cant like any hot drinks  ,2.0
46980,bornadragonfly where you at sweets i need a shot in the arm ,2.0
46981,sad bitch hours,2.0
46982,i dont recommend listening to oldies at  am ,2.0
46983,last day of work for the week i dont know how i managed to get off all weekend  yay for short shifts ,0.0
46984,rt livpsy physical touch makes you healthier studies show that massages hugs and handholding reduces stress and boosts the immune sys,1.0
46985,meaganirene im glad your safe and i hope you figure it out looks like a bitch  hows life besides that,2.0
46986,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
46987,guys  im here at the computer shop   playing online games   later i will reply to your messages  ,0.0
46988,boss just told me i need to be more efficient so i put my trash can on my desk w sign that said quotinboxquot he didnt think it was funny ,2.0
46989,finly got my self worth back i was  when i started thinking about killing myself after i turned  i tried mutipal times but failed each time i thought i had no future only a mountain of school debt i thought that getting a ba in history would give me self worth but instead it felt like a joke i had over come so much going to a cathic high school beacuse the public school was less inclined to let me take acdmic so i went to high school for two year with the same boy who sexually abused me that way i could go to university my learning disability ment i had extra help in university a invigalator for test to help with spelling and writing i graduated with a   average but i didnt have the connections to get a job so i took a minimum wage job fulltime but that ment i made to much to get help paying off student loans nore could i declare bankruptcy so i basic was fucked over on all sides i wanted to die feeling like a failure i didnt though and after so many years of fealing like my life had no value i finly feel like i do im going to collage for welding i love it even when i was not depressed i still didnt feel like my life mattered now however i feel happy and that i can have a future so dont give up no matter how much it might hurt right now if you die you will never know what could be hold on tight and you can survive the storm because the rainbow after is worth it,3.0
46990,nite nite  good god i hurt everywhere from being up and on my feet almost all night last night ,2.0
46991,artfire hi michelle ,0.0
46992,melissahoyer i sway a lot to the right tiny teddy bribes fluid bedtimes an extensive dvd collection im trying my best ,0.0
46993,hello new here  im gillan  ,0.0
46994,just get help why do people think this is something that will suddenly solve all your issues and that this is your only option when your depressed im stuck on a loop of wanting to die and i tell you that ive tried meds ive tried therapy ive tried it all yet all you can say to me is get help do you not honeslty think ive tried so many times it does not work for me its like beating a dead horse being told by your best friend that you push your problems into your friends that you should just help yourself or if not just get help is the most defeating thing ive heard ever im so angry sad and confused idk what to do anymore,3.0
46995,im losing patience with my mother my  mother  is divorced these four years and is still grieving the end of her marriage my mother is diagnosed with depression and she also has epilepsy in the wake of her divorce she leaned into her evangelical christian upbringing and began to pray nightly vigils in her closet for my father  to return to the family mind you all he is still in our lives and simply lives across town my father was physically and psychologically abusive to her but she begs god to bring him back every day she hangs her hopes in her prodigal husband returning on a spiritual experience she had whilst in prayer at a church service she claims to have heard the voice of god in her ears as clearly as i would speak to her saying youre praying the wrong prayer exhusbands name must return to me before he can return to youbear in mind that psychotic illness runs in her family as does suicide but she believes god spoke to her so she can never give up praying that my father will return ive told her that the quality of our lives has improved since he left and my relationship with him has improved as well dad has grown as a man and as unlikely as it should have been has made amends for his abuse to my brother and me he was criminally neglected and abused as a child and has come to terms with how it stunted his function as a model husband and father but he will not remarry my mother my brother and i are grown and he will not again place himself in a circumstance that would tempt his abusive tendenciesianad but i am certain that the voice of god that my mother heard was a griefinduced hallucination and a maladaptive one at that it has impeded her acceptance of the end of her marriage she weeps on the sofa every day these past four years for dad to return and that they can build the ideal christian family that they never had in the first placeive nearly lost all my patience for her daily grieving she visits a faithbased therapist monthly and refuses to see anyone else the therapist is a quack and employs an  in his sessions yes i do live with her to monitor her epilepsyany advice how to break this spelledit if im grieving anything im grieving my mothers lost four years ive met so many strong women from similar circumstances take voyages of selfdiscovery after divorce they become stronger and more sure in their independent identities they even become feminists but my mother sinks lower and lower by the day pining her lost role as a submissive wife my dad has a girlfriend now and they live together and she has become spiteful hateful i just want to yell at her get over it its over,3.0
46996,up at work bored ready to go home  thought of the day dont work for the bank unless your tryna rob them its just not worth,2.0
46997,wbo champ jeff horn to speak at xavier foundation dinner august  to raise much needed funds for icaniwill to pr httpstcomerdbncgyq,0.0
46998, thanks man thats quite a compliment coming from you make sure you let everyone know about it we want to go to  ,0.0
46999,too many parties tonight stuck home fml ,0.0
47000,i tried to hold on for so long so dont act hurt cuz im lettin go and finally doin me yo i was sad for a long tim ,2.0
47001, bless you i lost lucy my cat in  i still miss her every day i am sorry about your sad loss,2.0
47002,my sighteyes got worse im isolating myself alot and im sitting alot in front of my pcphone and cuz of that my eyes got significantly worsei just wanna share this exp and give u the advice to get another hobby ur sth cuz my eyes are shit now i can barely read subtitles from animes for example,3.0
47003,matsubue heheheheh ill keep the offer in mind  thx thx,0.0
47004,friends are coming over  parrrttyyy ,0.0
47005,just got home from showing property in the pouring rain ,2.0
47006,pleas help me and share i am so down please share ,3.0
47007,feeling great since the chiropractor appt  back to writing  wishing i could take a nap bc i woke up at  and couldnt fall asleep again ,2.0
47008,troublebrother very much much much mash more please ,0.0
47009,were back ,0.0
47010,rt heroturnedhuman you seem really depressed thanks its the depression,2.0
47011,i cant tell if im depressed or something else i dont know how to label on the surface an average guyloving family lots of friends few close friends average hobbies of a  year old gaming golf working out etcim above average in looks have money own property so on the surface i should be happybut i feel lonely i have people around me talking to me nearly everyday but i just feel lonely im amazing at empathizing with peoples struggles and giving advice always positive joking around  and willing to help people deal with stressone thing i feel i do really well is to encourage discussion whenever someone is passionate about what they talk about ie if they are passionate about weight loss i can talk with them for hours talking about how to when to what to why to etc or if someone wants to talk about politics crypto gaming dating family world events anything really i can hold a conversation to have the person continuously talk about what they are passionate aboutbut i feel like nobody can do the same for me nobody even my close friends i just have an extremely hard time finding people to share the same ideas stories opinionsi feel like i am the lone person on this earth that thinks the way i do and it sucks that i cannot connect with anybody on a deeper leveli had a so about  months ago great relationship but in my opinion it wasnt incredibly deep we connected so well on the fundamentals but we never really explored our deeper beings hard to explain sorry  i still love life everyone has a purpose and theres love for everyone and anyone out there this has been my outlook on life since i was young im an optimist at heart im not sad i dont want to run away i dont really have any negative emotions but with the way im feeling now some kinda loneliness im wondering if this is a mild depression or something else,3.0
47012,damn it i hate it when i put something quotsomewhere safequot and then i never find it again ,2.0
47013,im glad this was posted for a sports network located in toronto they dont talk about the leafs enough and its ,0.0
47014,i am very annoyed and disenchanted with the whole male sex right now someone please come along and restore my faith in them ,2.0
47015,ectheatreaubs or tuesday or whenever that was ,0.0
47016,so the truck was smaller than what was reserved two trips were made necessary  im still here for a little longer and sick as a dog ,2.0
47017, why so the train is more crowded so airline tickets get  more expensive so my xom stock makes me some money ,0.0
47018,im hungry and out of weight watcher points  ,2.0
47019,alexnewman i didnt get to see you ,2.0
47020,mireneg is that a book or a movie ,0.0
47021,nannyf just got this one  havent had all the driving until recently usually work closer to home ,0.0
47022,watching the city  until my mom goes out to a party so i can talk with yall ,2.0
47023,have a gallon of chicken in licious sauce cooling so much food and all i have to eat is toast and coffee   a  min power nap now,2.0
47024,msalonen cleaning cleaning cleaning for me ,2.0
47025,tavigreiner ugh what a pain it has happened to me many times ,2.0
47026,lessthankyle i know i dvred it and watched some of it ,0.0
47027,taking the day off from the interwebs no tweets no emails and no boards for me ,2.0
47028,i dont think ive ever played one sim family for so long at once im proud myself for not getting bored already ,0.0
47029,myrtlebeachblog things are interesting  but um at least the sun is shining  ,0.0
47030, back to college i moved out of the family house because of trouble with the family i just moved into the dorms last night and its like i went from one side of hell and just crossed over to another i dont really have friends here nor do i care to have any the people who come up to me are mostly from my programme and all we really talk about are our classes my ex is coming back to the campus in a few days i know this because we were together up until a few days past christmas and made plans for this coming weekend but thats all out the window im too tired for any more of his bullshit were nocontact but i still have some of his stuff and he still has some of mine i dont have the energy to deal with this after what happened last semester that led up to me taking a semester leave im dreading even seeing him around campus him being my favourite person as i have bpd complicates so many goddamn things im tiredim trying to suffocate myself with classes and work this semester just to distance myself from my emotions something about the start of this new year tells me that it will be worse than  alas i have to be here until december  not looking forward to any of this anymore,3.0
47031,foxnews wow in our opinion we believe that this is just downright sad eggs are these people like  years old wow whatisamerica fox,1.0
47032,rt outerjeon if a student gets  something out of  and yet they are crying and calling it a bad grade chances are they are not overr,2.0
47033,biaaaherc sorry it wasnt meant to hurt ,2.0
47034,sick of myself thats the best way i can put it im pathetic ive been sober yet unemployed for  months i have no friends who i can hang out with on a normal basis so basically none and a boyfriend whos living his best life in cancun and the only reason im not there is because im was a stupid addict who doesnt know how to save money shits crazy im only alive to see if i get this job i just had a final interview for if i dont get that then i really dont know what ill do i cant stand going all day without face to face interaction and just watching tv or on the internet wasting my days i know i should be as active as i can but i dont have any money for gas let alone anything else so what the fuck else am i supposed to do,3.0
47035,rt necation okay i think im good nowmy depressionhttpstcofssbgcwvmn,0.0
47036,rt sheriffclarke this is really sad most people her age know that everyday is a blessing and to take life  day at a time god promises,1.0
47037,frustrated upset ready to cry  my baby daddy in jail and my daughter is with his family cause he was with him in cali,2.0
47038,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
47039,pjrea haha hope youre enjoying the easter break doesnt last for much longer ,2.0
47040,propersecretary is it just me or do you struggle with an amelies decision every other day place must have awesome goodies ,0.0
47041,alanbartholomew all is forgiven i love you again  hehe,0.0
47042,gayrei was expecting pix of disabled tongue ,2.0
47043,where are the tweeters ,2.0
47044,djnyce yea this might interfere with my date with the batting cages tmrw ,2.0
47045,sam looks crunchy  i wish there was a way fix it ,2.0
47046,why does everyone in my life leave me whether we talk for one day month or one year ive never had a lasting relationship of any sort and it seems like a curse i dont have anyone to talk to about anything i have no friends no family to love me i have no support all i want is some support in my life is that so hard to ask i just want someone please im so lonely everyday and it sucks i have nothing to live for and no one would stop me from killing myself so why do i even struggle living anymore i dont get it why am i alive why do i exist my life is so pointlessi wish i never fell in love i wish i never felt love at all and wish i never felt any nice feeling because they do nothing good for me it just makes me feel things that i will never ever have for long all i do with my life is talk about how shit my life is on a subreddit thats all i have left in life one subreddit,3.0
47047,oof everytime i come onto this account i see stuff on my tl that just gives me anxiety ,1.0
47048,awww my son jus woke me up to tell me i was a queen ,0.0
47049,bupivacain i want one now ,0.0
47050,gianthogweed hiya  how is your sunburn today better i hope ,0.0
47051,almost homecannot wait to get out of this car   hour to go,0.0
47052,rt helengilburt never has mental health been so prominent in politics  but what are the parties offering and how will they fund it https,0.0
47053,curses clouds and rain ,2.0
47054,reveling in my freedom watching house eating food and playing on the computer all at once ,0.0
47055,oops i meant  follow friday  follow me cuz i think im cute  ,0.0
47056,it feels like youre moving through water how do i pull myself ashore with every passing day accomplishing even minutia tasks feel more like an immeasurable struggle i used to be rather high functioning but today i reached a point where i couldnt even finish my daily gym session a regimen in which id been clinging obsessively to for a sense of structure and sanity ive started to lose my battle and i dont know how to pull myself out of it or even remember how i once had many times before,3.0
47057,when ur depression hits u outta nowhere ,2.0
47058,damn i feel like i just bumped my head and it opened my eyes was i being naive this whole time is the old dyon finally back  ,0.0
47059,pibby the video is perfect thanks again talk to you soon ,0.0
47060,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
47061,my mums away to barcelona today lucky her i need a holiday seriously ,2.0
47062,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
47063,im online ,0.0
47064,rt jabasreturn walking over those metal things in the city hoping i dont fall in httpstcooguzldznde,2.0
47065,hes leaving on a jet plane ,2.0
47066,chukaman so you can fix it then  yay,0.0
47067,wishing the magic would have won  ,2.0
47068,its only day  and already i want to die the man i love ghosted me today maybe im why people hate me i try to be a good person but maybe im just an asshole maybe they would really be better without me ,3.0
47069,increase you traffic amp make a little xtra cash  it works ,0.0
47070,go to college they said itll be fun they said im currently in my first year of college my major is film and television but my state didnt have any schools that have film so im out of state not too far just a  hour drive but i dont drive so i cant go visit on the weekends or anythingin fact i cant do anything on the weekends my school is an art school so i have to take all these art classes so i can take film these classes are intense especially for someone like me who doesnt draw or paint or anything like that my projects each take  hours or more to complete its become hard on me mentally to just sit and work for  hours at a time on an art piece that i know isnt good my peers can get their work done faster and it looks better because theyre becoming painters and animators i have a  project due on monday and im the only one in my class that hasnt started i didnt start because every time i was satisfied with my sketch for the final design my professor or a classmate would tell me to change it im obviously going to listen to my professor but it just sucks that i cant feel confident in what im doingthe workload itself isnt making me suicidal but its definitely adding to my depression i just never feel good enough to be here and i cant stand working on these art projects that look terrible im worried once i start making films here theyre going to suck too because everyone here is just so talented im having a hard time finding the will to get up out of bed to get working but typing this out and getting it off my chest helps a littletldr art college is mentally draining for someone who doesnt do artanyone else in college and feel the same way,3.0
47071,stevetroplaw welcome to the wonderful exciting world of twitter ,0.0
47072,its saturday cold and rainy where has summer gone ,2.0
47073,what happened to that fun active lifeloving inthemoment girl i used to be ive found some old emails from my early teens from when i was between  years old and i am truly shocked at the person i used to be i was into stuff  like really into stuff i was present i was outgoing i was proactive i was interested i wasnt concerned constantly about the future about becoming someone about amounting to something i think since ive started having sex and basically mishandling ever romantic encounter ive ever had ive become really depressed i had problems back then too but im pretty sure i was a lot more extroverted with a minimum amount of social anxiety and a generally more optimistic outlook on life now paralyzed on a constant egotrip i have a few hours of day which are goodokay when i manage to stay present and dull my anxieties but im constantly thinking about the future how i am a nobody at  and i feel extremely old like im in my sixties i have no joy i have no pleasures i rarely laugh i just want to be someone so my family can finally stop bugging me about every lifedecision i ever make i feel like i missed out on life on happiness and that its too late now i wanted to cut myself now but refrained from it because i dont want temporary relief i want to feel good for an extended period of time it is possible will i ever be happy again will i ever find my way why cant i see the sun risingthank you for listening,3.0
47074,malanai  that doesnt sound cool,2.0
47075,ive had twitter  like  months and i still dont get it ,2.0
47076,rt borrachosvip ¿ya es la hora sad ,2.0
47077,my pink bits are tender ,2.0
47078,mc mong allkpop radio is having really good songs ,0.0
47079,listening to benjamin fart up a storm some in  some out lol ,0.0
47080,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
47081,cant walk thanks cortizon ,2.0
47082,i dont want to be me anymore i dont know if this fits here or if i have depression or whatever is wrong with me i just want to share my story and want somebody to listen two months ago i had an experience that made me afraid of myself i was in a subway waiting in line when a police officer came in she was very energetic and lively somehow it made me feel really sick then i realized that she was carrying her gun and i thought it would be so simple to just grab her gun and shoot myself in the head then i wouldnt have to bear living or being me anymore the thing that not made me try it after all was the fact that she probably could easily overwhelm me and i feared what it might do do her if someone killed herself with her gun  it hasnt been the first time i thought about suicide but it was the first time i actually considered doing it what kinda frightened me was the concreteness of my planlately i feel like my life is running out of hand even more than it already has been before i always had phases where i was really feeling down it started about  years ago when i was  or maybe  but in the last year it felt even worse sometimes even small task feel like they are impossible to do for example in october i was writing with a friend from school i said i would be coming home for christmas and asked if we could meet when he answered he said that his grandmother died and said we could meet around christmas or that he could visit me where i live i simply didnt knew how to answer so a day passed then a week then a month i thought you need to answer but i simply didnt knew what to say and at some point i got so afraid of answering that i simply didnt answer at alli feel like if i dont change then i will probably harm myself andor people around me i feel like the titanic blindly steering onto the iceberg heading into its doom,3.0
47083,i need more followers  follow me peoples and tell yaa friends,2.0
47084,whats the point i want to just sleep for most of my day and stay awake for a few hours just to love on my cat and self medicate so i can sleep even more at least when im sleeping i can avoid my existence i try so hard to be optimistic and positive then something happens or someone i love comes along and crushes everything it hurts a lot when you feel worthless to your own parents and your boyfriend who you love more than anyone or anything in the world and he says things to you that hurt so bad it becomes a physical pain when he doesnt believe you and you just have to become silent and try to be numb to the hurtful words and his passive aggressiveness and just take more medicine to numb it all and hope youll fall asleep soon and have nice dreams and forget you exist only you fall asleep and have literal nightmares because your real life is so sad and pitiful it seeps into your dream world  i cant even escape the sadness and sorrow and fear there it literally eats me alive everyday and it hurts so much its to the point that there is no use wishing and hoping for better days ill always feel this way i guess ill just try to pass the time and stay numb until i literally cease to exist,3.0
47085,i love thunderstorms  what a lovely evening now to play bubble bobble on the wii,0.0
47086,rt truevirathindu railminindia piyushgoyal piyushgoyaloffc salemdrm kindly help passengers in coimbatore by displaying the train arri,0.0
47087,jordanknight tink  tink,2.0
47088,about to take  of sertraline what will this do to me i just want it to stop now i have had enough of this pain i just want to feel better or scream loud enough so someone will finally help me😩,3.0
47089,shedletsky i wanted to play with you but your game ended ,2.0
47090,rt philuhmena  months ago today i was raped i was ashamed of my body hid my depression today i am a strong happy survivor amp l ,0.0
47091,back from er on crutches hurt my ankle really bad in lots of pain ,2.0
47092,apes still not watching  sorry  i just woke up,2.0
47093,one year ago today i lost the best cat i ever had i miss abby fucking cancer couldnt even leave a little cat alone ,2.0
47094,sillycows wow what a really encouraging reply ,0.0
47095,overeating im a  im not overweight but if i buy something like a box of oreos or cinnabons ill end up eating them all within  hours ill do that when im lonely or sad as a way of feeling better i know its not healthy but i cant help it advice,3.0
47096,bye yvon i already miss yah ,2.0
47097,i feel so gross please help this past autumn i lost a good amount of weight while running regularly and maintaining my diet but as of the past couple of months i let myself go and have been eating whatever i want whenever i want and as a result ive gained a substantial amount of weight i feel disgusting i tried on a skirt that i wore to a dinner in november it fit a little loosely and when i tried it on a few days ago it wouldnt zip up even in the slightest i tried to get back on my diet today but i slipped up and started binging with the most fatty foods i feel hopelessi feel ugly and i just want to hide in my closet forever my relationship with food is permanently fucked ugh ,3.0
47098,burnley in play offs  won  lost not a bad day off to ramsbottom cricket  rain  ,2.0
47099,iamsemmi scroll down the page and you will find the pic ,0.0
47100,i though there was gonna be real food at this tea party  im so disapointed,2.0
47101,thenoobkiller glorious sunshine in glorious yorkshire ,0.0
47102,rt huntychan ppl that dont like animal crossing are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technically domesticated,0.0
47103,i miss living life man i just miss being happy being excited about anything feeling anything but tired ive had depression for years and at first everything was so down and terrible and i thought that was the worst part ive always been a strong person ive thought about suicide a lot but never actually planning anything for the most part i thought i couldnt get any lower than i was  years agoi thought i could get better through meds therapy etc but nothing is helping and im just more tired everyday i get up go to work go out with friends and all that but nothing is exciting and i look forward to nothing except coming home and just laying in bed everyday feels like the same and its so much of a blur i dont pay attention to any dates at all important or not or even just the days of the week its either i have to get up to go to work or not friends hit me up to go out i go out or not go to the gym or not it doesnt matteri thought i could outlast this depression but it feels like its eating me in the inside and theres not much left im just so fucking tired all the time and thats whats really been killing me i feel myself everyday falling deeper into oblivion and i know theres nothing i can do short term to help myself its just draining me to the point where i feel that if i just keep living this life im going to go crazy or kill myself never thought id actually want that but after years of enduring through this pain i know i can only take so much and i dont know how much i have left inside me and it scares me i never thought being tired could hurt so muchsorry for the long post new here just needed to get shit off my chest,3.0
47104,my depression and self neglect is giving me anxiety this is my first ever post so i apologize for errors in any way so ill start by saying that i have had diagnosed chronic depression since i was  my move with my family across country junior year of hs really made it clear as day but my parents said it all made sense because i showed a few minor previous signs i guess i need to know if what im feeling is real and if it is depression or something else  i am working full time and taking  college classes i am so wiped out its crazy but i know i am intelligent enough so i blow stuff off and suffer by waiting until the last minute it makes me more exhausted but i keep doing it because my grades are really good but mostly i do it because i just want to sleep when im stressed i hate how i look and the gym happens rarely in these phases and my god it takes me forever to clean my house why do i do this to myself  this leads to anxiety that i have never had until this year at   this anxiety leads me to stay up at night wide eyed and terrified someone i love is just going to die and i havent had a chance to show them how much i love them it happens on planes too if i die i left behind nothing for people to remember me by ill be gone and slowly fade away i made no difference and if anything i caused harm bullied my younger sister as a kid regret it daily basically i just need to know if this is relatable to depression idk i have become so good at finding coping mechanisms i dont take meds because i really dont think i need them but when i get into one of these two categories i go into the darkness i strive to avoid i used to be indifferent  if i lived or died now i care too much in the other direction what is happening tldr im causing myself mental harm by procrastinating heavily and getting anxiety about my death  death of loved ones that has just started this year symptoms of depression,3.0
47105,onyamag you will have email shortly as soon as my attachment decides to attach itself to the email ,0.0
47106,jenscamaro nice i miss the bay area  hope you have a great monday and week,2.0
47107,im going to sleep  have a doc appt tomorrow at   i have to wake at  ,2.0
47108,mikeprasad noticed that yesterday tooim actually really happy about that  startrek,0.0
47109, youre welcome ,0.0
47110,shaunsmith ive voted   timeslll,0.0
47111,thesmartmama oh no im sorry abt gma she was sick  yes  ill send you good thoughts,2.0
47112,rt myfavstrash your mcm has severe anxiety mental and physical exhaustion self worth issues amp depression its me im your mcm,2.0
47113,sydarling lettuce wraps ,0.0
47114,rt janinebucks how you beat anxiety  ryan shaw  selfimprovement  selfimprovement  selfimprovement,1.0
47115,xuvianskii iyaa😣 sprtinya nanti ada yg mati pas perang lawaan jepang😫 ngarep sih jgn sad ending😫btw akting ,2.0
47116,watching celebrity appentice and hoping for annie too win ,0.0
47117,kaipodiesel it was goin off didnt see you there ,2.0
47118,rt twloha  things you shouldnt say to someone with depression and what to say instead via themightysite ,2.0
47119,just made beautiful ftsk posters signs for megwey ,0.0
47120,rt  todays youth are basically begging for schoolbased mental health services yet weve seen only one budget cut aft ,2.0
47121,just got a new braun buffel wallet  so happyy p,0.0
47122,so many good twitter names are taken by accounts that just sit dormant ,2.0
47123,just mowed the lawn then weighed myself apparently  mminutes of yard work  lose of  pounds  ,0.0
47124,dnrednests yes he did and it somehow turned into malibu staceys hat in a metaphor i falied to get ,2.0
47125,mzreese i wish more ppl would agree with that ,2.0
47126,rt marshawright anxiety does not help anybody achieve what they need to do it is a barrier that must be knocked down 🤔positive ,1.0
47127,whats happening in my head someone please relate im not sure whats going on but id really appreciate it if someone could say something to me i really dont know what im looking to gain from this post but just writing something is making me feel better i cant talk to my friends or family i have no right to be depressed and i have to be strong for them i cant talk to them about this im too embarrassed i dont know whats going on inside my head but im having a horrible breakdown a couple hours ago i was driving home from work and couldnt stop thinking about how much i deeply despise myself and how much i deserve death until i just broke down crying not just crying but hyperventilating and bawling until i got the idea that i should hurt myself which made me feel a lot better once i got home i started looking for what would be a good knife to do it but nothing seemed appropriate so i got in my car and started driving to any gas station that was open hoping they sold razors i probably looked like a psycho showing up past midnight red eyed asking for knives it was weird there was one voice in my head telling me horrible things and excited for what i was about to do even daring me to go further and another saying what the fuck are you doing i couldnt find a knife anywhere so i went home and began cutting myself with a kitchen knife it wasnt very sharp so i had to saw into myself and it just wasnt very practical so i broke a razor and started slicing myself seeing the blood was a nice rush feeling a pain other than the pain i was feeling inside was so relieving and most of all inflicting the pain that i know i deserve feels so righti was very methodic about it using alcohol wipes and antibacterial gel to clean the knife and wound each time then going in again and only cutting places no one would see with them being small and spread out enough to not be obvious what they are im in my  and this is nothing ive done before everyone knows me as this happy goofy funny guy that gets along with everyone i have a lot of friends and family and spend so much time laughing and smiling that a lot of people assume im gay when they first meet me theres nothing really going wrong in my life at all except that i have to live with myselfit feels like there are two of me within my mind and we absolutely despise each other we have contradictory emotions on everything it doesnt matter what i am doing one of us will very vocally protest im roommates with my worst enemy i feel this so much so that unless if im speaking out loud i rarely say i in my head its always we and us im not really sure where im going with this i feel really delirious right now and not okay at all it feels like my sanity is completely slipping away im not going to kill myself that would be too much pain to inflict on others but hurting myself truly feels amazing and wish i could go further ,3.0
47128,horoscope  virgos are in good shape right now geminis  happy birthday to you curious cats ,0.0
47129,shalinique for saying  may change up ur twitter game i like u just the way u r on here ,2.0
47130,svgrob haha yeah it is nice to get away sometimes rest the ole eyeballs haha enjoy it ,0.0
47131,finishing up hw last day tomorrow woot woot ,0.0
47132, hair dresser  more week  big day ,0.0
47133,will definitely be missing ms darvinya alot when she goes to frenchspeakingsnowpiling montreal for  year ,2.0
47134,up at   i mustve pissed o off or something so tired,2.0
47135,keeps waking up ,2.0
47136,duper duper work out and super great meal right after im a champ ,2.0
47137,i cant keep up with all the rss feeds i should read  so much interesting to learn  so little time  rss fb,2.0
47138,depression ruined my hygiene well ive been battling depressions for over  years and have finally gotten a grip on life and taking it into my own control unfortunately that comes with many consequences like my teeth i never had the motivation the drive the will to brush them sometimes go without showering for a few days ect but my teeth always took the blow of depression dont get me wrong my teeth are straight decent shade of yellow but i have  cracked teeth a hole decaying teeth overall they look good when i smile when you dig deeper you see the cavity i had when i was younger with its silver an black the cracks the decay the plaque build up ive began brushing my teeth religiously for the past two weeks and made an appointment this saturday to see a dentist even though i have  coverage and no money but ill figure it out i just hope the dentist is understanding and doesnt judge me back into a slump thanks for listening,3.0
47139,started out as one of the best days ever now it is shit ,2.0
47140,lost my weekly unlimited  i didnt even use it yet,2.0
47141,anyone else feel like this ive struggled for a while with the idea of having depression and how it affects my life and its gotten a lot clearer these past couple years even just coming to terms with having it and describing it makes me emotional so ive always shied away from making sense of it but here goes most of the time i feel like im living life on this sort of tight line below the line is that feeling most of us know very low state where everything is hopeless and full of self deprecating thoughts thinking about that place actually scares me and above the line is a place close to true happiness a place where i think ive reached only a couple times in my life a place in life full of friends who get you and a job that isnt terrible however i feel like most of my life ive lived in this inbetween state where im held back from the happy place but holding on from the dark place by pure mental determination and its friggen exhausting i can barely keep it together sometimes but i force myself to because im scared of going back to that dark place its crippling almost because all of my energy is put toward keeping myself on the line and i dont have enough left to get myself above it i feel stuck tbh sometimes weed helps me a lot and it actually has shown me how i would like to feel going through life all the time but i dont want to rely on drugs to get me through life its almost unfair that i know where i want to go and where i want to be because ive been there before but so many barriers are keeping me from that place ,3.0
47142,leahmichelle thats not sick ,2.0
47143,rachael makes me want to cry ,2.0
47144,ive been crying all day me opens fridgemom what are you looking forme mutters the will to livemom mayo its behind the milk,3.0
47145,recovering from last night had so much fun and lasted out till  ,0.0
47146,bravo must not want me to leave my room todayreal housewives of ny ,0.0
47147,jasminedagreat i am from chicago ,0.0
47148,is enjoyin a nice morning at the mango tree ,0.0
47149,girlnotes nelsonashh meghanhadley you  where does this road come out atme  youll see dont get nervous httpstcokmvlylllxk,1.0
47150,percythepigeon good afternoon and how is the special pigeon today  isnt the wet weather a bit rough for you ,0.0
47151,werewolfjacob youre very welcome ,0.0
47152,i know why im constantly depressed and that i cant be helped so the be all and end all of it is penis size im really small and theres no two ways about it my last gf of  years left me because of it and was never interested in sex after about the  year of our relationship this caused problems because i wanted sex quite regularly and she never did which looking back on it i dont blame her sex was ok for me most of the time but for her it was a problem due to trapped air i guess due to for lack of a better term not touching the sidesanyway this is the reason for my depression i spend my whole life fixating on it due to it stopping me being able to live the life i want to live this is to say i want a partner in my life but know that the chances of me satisfying them in the bedroom are slim to none this stops me from asking females out and getting too involved for fear of getting to the bedroom stage and the whole thing crumbling the annoying thing is that females actually seem to like me and through me knowing what i know i cant ever follow through with anythinganyway back to the title of the postobviously i know that this is why i get depressed yet my friends and family dont whenever i get down or they can tell im depressed their attitude towards everything is always the same old stuff see a doctor and get antidepressants see a therapist get out more and enjoy yourself get a girlfriend etc etc and while i know they are trying to help me and i appreciate the sentiments all of the above doesnt help me except for possibly the gf thing but because of my problem i cant make that happen this causes arguments between me and them because they all think they know whats best for me and just think that i suffer from some random general depression that can be solved through me getting help i cant tell them what my problem is because  it horrifies me and its unbelievably embarrassing  its weird because theyre family and most of the people who care most about me are all females mum sis aunt and  i literally dont trust anybody not to say anything and before you know it everyone knows and i just cant deal with that with regards to them telling me to get help for my depression ive been to see my doctor about it she referred me to a psychosexual therapist who said she couldnt help me after  sessions unfortunately if youre completely honest with yourself and not delusional theres nothing that can be done about penis size and because i know this i constantly feel depressed because i feel that im going to spend my whole life single which just makes me hate life and myselfand with my family not knowing about why i get depressed and them just thinking im being a shit cunt by not doing the things they think can help me because i already know they cant all of this just makes me want to kill myself and just stop it all i literally just dont know what to do anymore after  years of feeling like this im finally starting to give upsorry for the long post but im mentally tired of it all and just need to vent,3.0
47153,micadsgirl well  needs to know ur just as crazy as me ,0.0
47154,trying my hardest ive been living with depression for what feels like my entire life ive been to therapy off and on sadly because of financial problems or just not feeling comfortable with one about  weeks ago i was ready to commit suicide my now exgirlfriend of  years left me she said she fell out of love with me and didnt give me a reason why and that really hit me hard usually my depression had been managable some days worse than others but otherwise manageable recently its felt like its become worse every day the day after i was talked put of suicide i took some advice and started going to the gym and surprisingly it helped out for the first couple weeks i was excited and always pumped up to go to the gym i still have some passion for it but the mornings are the worst just about every morning i force myself just to get out of bed feeling shitty and self loathing for the past week ive felt my depression creeping slowly back in and have had moments from time to time where i wish i wasnt alive or wish my existance would just be erased im really trying the best i can i know i have friends and family that love me  yet i still cant actually feel the love they give metldrbeen trying as much as i can to fight my depression yet my will to fight it is waning and i dont know what to do to keep myself motivated anymore i know im loved but i dont feel loved if that makes sense ,3.0
47155,kriscamp the greys season finale was soooo sad i cant believe iz and george both died  next season wont be the same wout them,2.0
47156,what now here i am after another failed attempt to be fair i do come up with the most stupid methods of ending it but i honestly believe theyll workso what do i do now i have all of tomorrows homework untouched and its almost midnight i find times like now surreal almost disconnected from the real world feeling like i shouldnt be here because i believed so much i wouldnt i guess i just dont know were to go from here,3.0
47157,what is helping me currently ive been struggling with depression and social anxiety for the past  years of my life i talk to myself alot i tend to scream at myself i chose to take a different approach to my thinking recently usually my line of defense for calling myself pathetic and weak and useless and is to deny it after years of this ive found this isnt very effective at all for me i feel like im lying to myself and being delusional because i have no evidence to prove the contrary instead ive decided to change my game plan to what is the value of my thoughts telling myself that i am a useless human being may be true but focusing on it doesnt improve my situation i am starting to talk back to my inner monologue not by denying what its saying but by rejecting its importance all together emotion is huge for me so when im emotional doing this is much easier said than done but the more i do it the easier it is getting i dont like talking to people about myself but i feel proud of myself for improving a bit so i wanted to post here,3.0
47158,is back to work and college tomorrow ,2.0
47159,please cheer me up hey not sure if this is the right sub but i could use some help right now i got asked to a high school dance sadie hawkins dance and the girl that asked me just texted me and said she didnt want to go anymore ive already spent nearly  on clothes and a suit which is nonrefundable im sad that i cant go to the dance but im even more upset that i got my dad who paid for my clothes and lives in another state spent so much money on things i no longer want i know people have it a lot worse than me and to all of you just know i care about you hope it gets better for us all tldr got asked to a sadie hawkins dance and was cancelled on after i spent a bunch of money on clothes,3.0
47160,forgetting to drink coffee makes depression worse hi i just wanted to see if im not alone in this  i have been athome testing if i have a dependency on coffee and even though i dont crave it my brain has a hard reaction to not drinking it ie i get really sad its extremely hard to leave the bed for the entire day and i feel extra lethargic ive been trying to pull myself off of it because i dont have an addiction and i would like to not be dependent but every day i dont drink it i spiral which makes me go back to drinking it again also a note im not a heavy drinker i drink one cup a day pretty much every day and thats it just now i just drank my first cup in three days and ive been spiraling hard and now all of it seems to have stopped in its tracks and i feel so light im ready to like get back to my normal schedule and everything and the sadness is manageable for todayanyone experience anything similar to this note i am not on any medication for my depression and anxiety,3.0
47161,nataliabonbon   play some good songscant wait for the summer we have very cold weather here,0.0
47162,joelmadden haha pfft i tried giving away my first born child for a pizza delivery on twitter today didnt work ,2.0
47163,life is crueljake u will be missed ,2.0
47164,is wishing luck for  test  httpplurkcompudkaw,2.0
47165,finally gained the courage to ask for help and i was told to exercise more the title is pretty self explanatory but ive been dealing with depression for a long time now but ive always tried to work through it on my own theres been a few times i was going to go to a doctor or counsellor to ask for help but i backed down lately my depression has been worse than ever and its negatively affecting everything i do and everyone around me especially my relationship with my boyfriend so i decided i need help i booked an appointment with my doctor and her response was to tell me to exercise more i feel so hurt by that i dont know if i couldnt express how bad things really are for me or if she wasnt the right person i needed to talk to but im at a loss for what to do now i feel like i cant talk to anyone in fear of them not taking me seriously ,3.0
47166,geting ready to go white planes gonna surf but i gotta rent a board  mines has a big cut in it,2.0
47167,is enjoying a new day ,0.0
47168,chambiesagb oceanchambie i know right it makes me so sad my first ever fan account was for ari back in ,0.0
47169,tsubasadreams ,0.0
47170,can a victim of sex trafficking ever fully recover  i fear everything my boyfriend gets upset when he cant touch me at all due to ptsd every noise makes me tremble and i always think that something bad will happen i feel like ive been through so much i can just turn my numb button on how i am now affects all my relationships with people even if im sitting in a car too long i get so scared someone will hurt me or do something that i always have to be aware of my surroundings if you might get triggered by sexual abuse i strongly suggest to not read the rest not going to go into a lot of details but about a year ago i was sex trafficked i always seen girls on the tv and thought it was  in a million and could never happen to me until it did and when it did i became aware of how big it actually is and how often it happens after i had managed to escape last may i was in impatient hospital care for  months to help with the ptsd but i dont feel as anything worked my parents didnt know how to react so they werent as close then i dont blame them because i feel like no one is going to know exactly how to react in a situation like mine i dont feel like i could ever be in a relationship because the guys ive been with after couldnt understand or even try to understand when id jump or flinch or tremble when theyd even touch my arm or anything i dont like being touched anymore i dont like going out i have no friends because i just have periods where i dont talk to anyone for long periods of time and going to court is scary i have to go again soon and face my perpetrator sometimes i want to run far away so i will never have to see him again i just wish i can live like a normal  year old girl who likes to hang out with friends and go out i dont want to be like this when i get older and start a family i dont want my future kids to fear the world like i do and the people in it ,3.0
47171,bank holiday mondaaaaaay   exams tomorrow  d,0.0
47172,so i got ditched so me and my girlfriend were planning to hang out today for a few days now this morning she tells me theres a lot she has to do around the house and that sh doesnt know if shell be able to come over so i tell her to try and get it done as soon as possible and i can go pick her up later a few minutes ago she cancels the plans that she wasnt even sure she could attend because she made plans with her friend last second im really mad but at the same time its her friend and i cant stop her from hanging gout with her friend i understand im not number one on her mind all the time and that shes got more important people in her life than just me but it really upsets me and idk if i should express that to her or if that would make me look like a douchebag ,3.0
47173,lenahanson hiiiii where you been  how are you,0.0
47174,scared to love again i was dating someone at the end of  it was great at first but my depression hit me like a meteor i cried almost every day for weeks on end and it was hurting him to see me hurt one day while we were arguing he snapped and screamed when are you ever happy   he proceeded to talk about how drained he felt because of me he broke up not long after but i find myself replaying those words over and over again i was always scared to get into a relationship because of this i was afraid that my mental illness would be too much for others to handle but i opened my heart up for the first time turns out my worst fear came true i dont ever want anyone to go through that ever again,3.0
47175,i dont know why im here but i need to talk im a  year old guy in the uk i left school with no notable grades i got an aprentaship working in a kitchen as a chef when i was  i worked  houres a week  days straight i thought it would ok a decent living at first but  months in my course i was moved to another restaurant this one was a michelin star resturant i worked there for  moths i craked up as my head chef and other members of staff were bullying me i was in a state dreading going to work due to phisical and mental attrition beating me down day after day to the bare bones i quit my job but ove not realy been the same since i never get in arguments anymore im just a pushover when the chips are down i got another job in another kitchen and well they treat me better in some ways and worse in others but for sake of convinence il move the story along a bit i am no good for them and are releasing me from my contract  i am sad as im giving up catering and looking for new prospects in collage or work a diffrent aspect alltogether but still important  my social and love life ive been alone for years no friends no girlfrends i did ask some girls out but i was rejected about  times witch crushed my selfesteem and pushed me out of social groups i have no hobbies due to im scared to meet people and try new things as no one will do them with me i dont know what to do what to say but all i know i am trully alone i dont know wether i should seek profesional help as my parents i dont know what to say to them that im depressed because im losing my job i have no friends and i dont have a gf nor any hobbies i finde it hard to relate to them as i think theyd would say toughen up as thats life and its just the begining it would be very  helpfull fore youre condolence or youre pespective on things thank you,3.0
47176,does anyone purposely push people away like i hate being alone  but at the same time i just cant stand people especially stupid dumb people its such a waste of mental energy that i isolate myself is there anyone else how do u deal with it ,3.0
47177,on a yogurt adventure with beththis sucks ,2.0
47178,had a truly awesome day ,0.0
47179,lofi is good hey started anti depressants pretty good can say lofi is better when not wanting to kms¯ツ¯,3.0
47180,davidarchie  hi david  tomorrow is my last day of school  wish me luck on my exams,0.0
47181,rt paytonselzer jaw hurts from smiling tryna b sad again asap,1.0
47182,pcdfreak you get to see her before i do ,2.0
47183,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
47184,i had a dream my favorite people were dying of cancer and it somehow felt good to cry i dont know how to describe how messed up this felt but last night i dreamt that celebrities i looked up to and family i loved had all been diagnosed with terminal cancer all at once and in my dream i couldnt stop bawling my eyes out but whatever it was it felt so cry even if it was all fake friends in my dream were comforting me and it felt like i finally had a good reason to cry i dont understand why the hell this is happening before school started i started my first trial of medication of antidepressants and stimulants the gettingusedto period was horrible for the antidepressant somewhere along the line i thought that hey maybe my adhd was what was causing my depression this whole time and i stupidly stopped taking the antidepressants without consulting my doctor first lo and behold because im only taking the stimulant i get bouts of serious anger and spiral into deep sadness after about  hours i tried getting back on the antidepressant when i realized it was a bad idea but because im in school the fact that my body is reacting to trying to get used to the medication again i just lay in bed with body aches all day i feel so alone but talking to friends or family is the last thing i want i want to see if therapy will help but i heard my schools therapy is absolute garbage and my brain feels too fried to look into therapy my insurance covers i think my school can help me find a therapist but i have no energy to pick myself up and do it these days i cant help but feel nothing is really worth it i hate hearing people say that its the little things that make life worth living nothing in my life is going wrong and yet im still depressed how can i expect my selfish self to depend on the little things in life its not like things are going terribly wrong either i know where my life is going and im accomplishing things ive originally wanted to do but nothing is ever enough,3.0
47185,im so far gone i literally dont care anymore hopefully a bus or something runs me over or some act of god takes me out there is nothing in my life to look forward to or be happy about my job  my home my lack of friends or so god just kill me ffs ,3.0
47186,i thought i was over this cold and my head feels like it is going to explode meh ,2.0
47187,i have an algebra exam in  hours and i am freaking myself out to the point i just threw up i just need someone to cover me with a bit of solace as i wallow the failure of an exam i didnt even take yet i know this embodies anxiety as opposed to depression but my depression is just feeding my anxiety  i just need to hear somethings sweet to get me by as i feel extra alone at nighttime  i have absolutely no one to call or text and i most definitely can not afford to fail this exam even though i most likely will,3.0
47188,morning why the hell do i keep waking up at silly oclock in the morning my alarm doesnt go off for another hour ,2.0
47189,why do mondays always feel so much longer than other days even though we get out early probably because we have all our classes  ugh,2.0
47190,my throat hurts from screaming on the polar express ,2.0
47191,im out of here bye everyone ,0.0
47192,trkish grand prix on sundaymiss my man ,2.0
47193,melanytexas noooo i never lived in gvine silly im in flower mound ,0.0
47194,eddieabdullah   i wouldnt be surprised if they actually do,2.0
47195,its really annoying that twitter mobile wont allow me to find and follow new people i have to wait until im on my pc ,2.0
47196,meheh  playing yooyuball at httpneopetscom ,0.0
47197,home from work early  life is gooood ,0.0
47198,the   mth old kid recd a plaque certif amp letter for her tennis exploits problem isshe didnt tell us of party until after ,2.0
47199,is getting ready to eat salsa and chips bless god  httpplurkcompxzsco,0.0
47200,three days grace ,0.0
47201,rt courtenlow my depression has never tried to kill me instead it makes me want to disappear entirely and for none of you to r ,1.0
47202,whats more effective than a  hour energy drink and actually works a  hour depression nap,1.0
47203,took the dog to the offleash park today he overheated then ran and laid in the only mud puddle there and splashed around was amusing ,0.0
47204,caseysevenfold are you in brisbane yet ,0.0
47205,wethetravis  ,0.0
47206,its happening im setting up my bed by myself  wish me luck,0.0
47207,rt  me pretending that my depression doesnt effect my daily life httpstcoousbvbxnso,2.0
47208,doing her personal project and is sick ,2.0
47209,winphreak  there stalking me i tell you will have to go and buy some tomorrow ,2.0
47210,rage i have almost entirely recovered from my depression the one thing i struggle with are periods of uncontrollable anger once i lose my patience i lose all ability to regulate my emotions and think clearly i lose all ability to calm down or think clearly i havent figured out a way of reliably dealing with this anger i would appreciate hearing from anyone with anger issues like this,3.0
47211,it doesnt stop every once in a while i realize how insignificant i am with the vastness of the universe and people say that its impossible to imagine but why is it that i know exactly how tiny my efforts make up to the world  im an introvert who constantly needs attention from others to distract myself from my mind but i get exhausted just as easily  people lately have said im an extrovert and on the outside yes i am but its not who i am its who i need to be  i desperately need to care for something bigger than myself but the people close to me arent enough right now  i wish i had just one person who could at least slightly relate to mei want to change the world but im  and barely able to afford community college  every year i get closer to the death of my and our already so insignificant of a lifespan  ive been like this at least once a year since middle school  and theres the part of me that realizes it might not even be real at all with the ideas of cosmic solipsism the idea that theres only one soul my own creating the entire world around me in my mind or whatever collections of thoughts are floating around the empty space of the universe  i want this psychological torture to stop  why do i do this to myself i dont want to think about it  i even refused to drink when i was younger because i genuinely believed that waiting until  would be extremely important in preserving my brain so that i could have the most efficient brain power possible to actually have a chance at changing the world  obviously that didnt work out otherwise i wouldnt be tipsy enough to actually say whats on my mind im a good person but probably only because my sanity requires me of it this desperation has become who i am at every level of the phrase and i dont know how to get out of it my very personality is shaped around this sense of cosmic insignificance and i dont know where to go,3.0
47212,tapbotpaul youre far more likely to get stuff stolen from a car in a nice neighborhood than the whole car in a bad one ,2.0
47213,not feeling to hot this morning kinda feel like i got hit by a train the tequilla vodka train ,2.0
47214,kickback  mannys house ,0.0
47215, dont remind me  thought he was gonna retire seeing dodger blue ,2.0
47216,i wish i can go home ,2.0
47217,crrystalbabe the saving money refers to you  besides were here to buy my sister her prom dress,0.0
47218,justicedeshon  sad that its true lol,1.0
47219,demongirly ,2.0
47220,mountaindiu �у учить��  вы�вл�ть подавл�ть и�пользовать против недругов ,0.0
47221,kelsetsilcox damn its out of stock on the only legit site that has it ,2.0
47222,mzzdjfrances aww man  any remedies,2.0
47223,i had a dream that i walked in front of a car i woke up a couple of hours ago at  am i routinely have dreams that make me anxious because i cant lucid dream i think everything is very real when im dreaming and my dreams are very detailed and can be kind of horrificdepressingonce in a few years really nice but i woke up and thought about my dream and remembered what i dreamt about before i died and started crying i went to my parents room and they got really worried and i just sat there in silence for a bit mom and dad on either side my mom guessed right that i had a bad dream and asked if i want to speak to my brother and i shook my head no she asked if i want to sit with our puppies and i said no it took me a while to stop crying i said i want to talk to my therapist then i went to my room and listened to three songs the last was machine gun by portishead and my cousin sister was sitting with me in silence at  i told her i want to go outside for a smoke with a lot of difficulty because my whole body is aching and i felt extremely cold and extremely tired we went and i smoked and she made me sit on a bench in the sun for a bit i asked her a few hypothetical questions none about me or in anyway related to how i felt i was just too tired and i knew she would feel better if i seemed more normal we walked back at  my mom handed me a glass of fresh milk shake because i have to eat something before i take my meds its still on my bedside full i feel too nauseous to eat too tired to do anything too scared to sleep i had an exam today im certain i dreamt what i did because i didnt want to take the exam because i hadnt studied for it at all ill appear for it tomorrow instead but ive had depression for a while been on meds for two months and i have been feeling really off these last few days ive been reading about the most dramatic suicides in history like christine chubbucks my father scheduled a therapy appointment for today i dont know why im writing this post because i dont want to even write what i saw in my dream im only going to tell my therapist this afternoon i feel completely drained and also kind of like an imposter my cousin came in again to convince me to take my exam she started crying ive told her before that i think about suicide my parents are really worried i hate myself for worrying them i will never kill myself just because i can never ever hurt them the guilt wont let me hurt myself but i dont want to live either,3.0
47224,just put the pool out its hot here in london got a bit burned yesterday so im shading today ,2.0
47225,spending my last hours with my evan ,2.0
47226,rt lucldity sad bitch hours,2.0
47227,stormwarden nice twitter nick ,0.0
47228,time for bed up in  for a  drive  ob night away another ob another  drive then home for a day then repeat ,2.0
47229,sappholez you have so much to tell me ,0.0
47230,watching leona lewis perform not gonna write you a love song ,0.0
47231,had an awesome life untill my mom said that its my turn to walk with doggie ghooow have to leave my bed ,2.0
47232,affirmingspirit my hubby is waiting on news about his job but meanwhile possible new opportunities are arising just as you said nice ,0.0
47233,hey man you look rough you alright i work in restaurant for a very specific reason i dont really drink a lot  drinks per month but rather than telling my coworkers im severely depressed and i hate my life i just casually say oh im just hungover and they pat me on the back laugh,3.0
47234,i cant handle emotion man i really cannot handle emotion i hate it i hate liking people i hate it all,3.0
47235,my nephew is the craziest little boy hes faking sneezes and dancing in the car gonna miss him so much ,2.0
47236,what happens to my bff kel mel last night i returned the call ,0.0
47237,workingggg ugh  lol,2.0
47238,off to see the queen today ,0.0
47239,busy daypractice this afternoon and then ballet recital tonightyea ,0.0
47240,inchesofgtb     i lost some,2.0
47241,accountancy revision ,2.0
47242,rt andyddoestweets people throw the word depression around far too much youre not depressed you just dont like going to work or havi,1.0
47243,just tried using live writer to publish a blog post to my blog via blogger very usable and handy app  httpdownloadlivecomwriter,0.0
47244,rt mishaieckii jareds raising money for depression self harm and suicide charities and i dunno about u but i think that helps our commun,2.0
47245, yeah for real between posts it is about  minutes to get each one of yours ,0.0
47246,schmeghanlynn omg i cant believe youre actually looking for a replacement i cant believe we havent had a true goodbye ,2.0
47247,good morning ,0.0
47248,kawaiijess i miss you cuppy cakes ,2.0
47249,georgiababesss i know right ,2.0
47250,i dont think ill survive college i was working on a music theory assignment today i did homework for the first time in literal years it was five sheets of paper one sided writing chords inversions chord progression with smooth voice leading and transposingit took me five hoursthis is one assignment how the fuck am i supposed to survive college if one high school music theory assignment takes up my entire afternoon and evening and now i should be going to bedit takes me hours to complete assignments that should take  to  minutes to do and now im even more exhausted have barely any free time and upset because this is all i have to look forward to im planning to study electrical engineering so its not exactly the same but how the fuck am i supposed to pass classes like this im barely even aware of whats happening when im in school i cant focus on anything whether or not ive taken my adhd medication and i just want to fucking sleep all the time,3.0
47251, so does mcdonalds ,2.0
47252,im getting really bored with the painting now ,2.0
47253,danmerriweather and u rocked loved it ,0.0
47254,thinking about life its soo amazing how life is smh but u know what i love life smile have a blessing day ,0.0
47255,ellelovesgreys i was super distraught about it yesterday but im all good today and i have my motivation back to study more  ,0.0
47256,violetscruk i know thats my way of thinking ,2.0
47257, welcome the first one got all screwed up ,2.0
47258,is my birth control the culprit i  have a history of depression but as of lately it has gotten so much worse im ranked  out of  kids in my class ive always done all my work and suddenly i find myself so depressed and apathetic that i may not graduate i had a little bit of senioritis before hand but i dont think this is senioritis ive never felt so sad in my entire life and i dont even know why i dont even know how to describe how i feel ive had a lot more suicidal thoughts lately and intense sadness almost everyday but i know ill never commit suicide the only reason i dont is because i dont want to hurt anyone else and i would feel so guilty if i devastated someone elses life like that a girl at my school committed suicide two years ago and i would never want my friends and family to feel the way hers did it broke my heart i dont want to feel this way anymore for other peoples sake not just my own i dont want to die i just want to feel better ive only been on trisprintec for about a month now like i just finished the first little pack thing yesterday  im not sure when i started feeling this low but i definitely had depression before hand should i stop the pill altogether try a different brand or a different form of contraceptive like the implant etc i cant really think of anything thats making me depressed right now except that im insecure and have no confidence i dont know why my mood has dropped so low recently i cant focus at all at school im very forgetful now and i have no motivation to do anything not my school work not take care of myself nothing tldr just started the pill for the first time and depression has gotten severely worse advice,3.0
47259,i want to sleep but i cant this sucks ,2.0
47260,mcraddictal okay ,2.0
47261,text going to lay down ,0.0
47262,  i felt like looking awesome today ,0.0
47263,sat with my grandad and were both on our laptops hes a lovely ol chap he makes me smile  ltlt,0.0
47264,ddlovato  demi  no i think you should tell us as in right now hahaha ,0.0
47265,im hungry i wouldnt mind a creamy hot chocolte and choquettes from paul but it doesnt taste the same from dubai ,2.0
47266,other schools are closed but why is mine still open ,2.0
47267,ethansuplee owie bruised mine once i feel your pain dude ,2.0
47268, true you def have me beat im sorry for that those are going to be some long class periods ,2.0
47269,i feel like i cannot be alone with my own thoughts anymore im starting to struggle harder with depression the further i go into my teen years when i was in  grade i had a mild case of depression with me just being kinda sad sometimes now me a sophomore in high school now i just feel like a minute doesnt pass by where i dont feel sad and alone even when im surrounded by my family and friends i thought that maybe finding companionship in another person would help me cope but it only made me realize that im not in a place where i can truly love someone else because i dont even love myself deep in the back of my mind i know that i dont deserve to be happy because of this im ruining relationships in my life being a terrible boyfriend to my significant others and being a bad son i cant handle this stress combined with the fact that i cant remain happy for long when i speak to my very best friends when i talk to them that is the only time of my day where i truly feel happy and worthy of being happy but for the most part the rest of my day is the exact same just trying to get by drowning out any thoughts i could have with loud and distracting music any thoughts i have are just driving me further and further down into my depression hole i barely get any sleep nowadays im trying to get into a therapist but its been  months and no response everything just feels pointless and the only reason im not dead right now is because i feel like that i would only be doing it for selfish reasons i just wanted to get this off my chest i cant handle being this consistently sad all the time,3.0
47270,cant upload a profile picture ,2.0
47271,im proud of myself today was a bad day i felt hopeless and thought about killing myself however somehow i managed to finish my essay i feel happy about that,3.0
47272,rt cheysways or who they said they were ,2.0
47273,tercowas inshaallah it passes and you feel better soon ,2.0
47274,i dont want to live in this world i want to die its so hard to recover when everything is bad people are awful mortality is ticking away i dont trust the deity of my religion nature is just as bad what the fuck is this shit why does anything even exist its a sinsometimes i wish i could just be a normal human being and handle things without flipping out unfortunately due to an abusive childhood i cant all my chips are on therapy and if it fails im hanging myself and im getting it right this time unlike the other attemptsfailed to tourniquet the boot string broke couldnt hang myself i knew i should at least try to recover first nothing to overdose with oh well now there will be zilch holding me back no sneaky feeling that this is the wrong thing to do no regrets either i heal and figure out how to be a functional member of society gross humanity or i can finally die in peace,3.0
47275,wishing this wasnt the last weekend to study for finals ,2.0
47276,i could use a hug i feel so alone they my family sees me slowly breaking inside and yet none of them tries to help i feel so useless i just want someone to hug me and tell me im notis that so much to ask ,3.0
47277,oooop xd backstreetboys bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb bsb i really want that pass ,2.0
47278,penultinate day in newcastleohhhhh ,2.0
47279,watching project runway season  god its addictive and heidi klum is awesome ,0.0
47280,ethansuplee how come we never ever see her face ,0.0
47281,im sorry to bring the philippines pride down but i think those pinoy versions of popular songs killed the sould out of the original song ,2.0
47282,my laptops power cable is broken  im so bummed i wont be  online for a while guys,2.0
47283,stub all thanks to me i feel ashamed ,2.0
47284,nansen arent the fish already dead how is throwing dead fish cruel kinda like frozen turkey bowling is cruel to turkeys ,0.0
47285, yao im so jealous ,2.0
47286,rt amyjromine great article about depression and anxiety iwilllisten  help ,1.0
47287,bah i hate summer  its lost its allure and luster  feeling kinda down  ,2.0
47288,rt  it makes me sad because im such a nice girl and people really try to play me like im stupid and then i have to be a fu,1.0
47289,chrisdjmoyles monday mornings may be rubbish but surely you love what you do and you must get paid a pretty penny nice for some ,0.0
47290,mechazoidal yaydarn all the season ticket holders are coming along so im just gonna have to find you afore and after the bout ,2.0
47291,tired  work ,2.0
47292,sethsimonds i get email notifications ,0.0
47293,as today off and is home alone  coz gary is a gay boi and didnt wanna come to colchester,2.0
47294,jacquelinalexis i know  i wish i had money    ha,2.0
47295,teamukskyvixen thanks sweets  hugggggg,0.0
47296,jpoh is that afl or rugby i always get confused ,0.0
47297,kailaengland liesgirlstell i dont google myself yeah i usually only do in the shower ,0.0
47298,no i cant find my ipod shuffle now i cant plug in those good sleeping music ,2.0
47299,good morning peeps and happy tuesday im headed out the door for some hilly intervals before it gets too hot  back soon ,0.0
47300,rt poeticallyiost whats depression likeits like drowning except you can see everyone around you breathing,1.0
47301,work tomorrow ,2.0
47302,giajordan damn i forgot to send him my address for it  ill get on it asap cause i want moooore candy ,2.0
47303,back to work at siam squaremight fin around  ,2.0
47304,dancemasstv thank you ,0.0
47305,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
47306,cortneymarie ok works for me ,0.0
47307, ohh id love someone to buy me one  lol,2.0
47308,how can pets be allowed on swa isnt it illegal to have large furry flammable things in the aisles ,0.0
47309,rt lexmarilu i use to get sad when girls would hate me for no dam reason even tho i never even talked to them but now im chillin i let a,1.0
47310,ive decided im gonna kill myself after valentines day im sending valentines cards to all my family so they know i love them after that im done weirdly im kind of proud of myself for just making this decision its the only real decision ive been able to make in a long time anyway i know its weird to say this to a bunch of strangers but i just wanted somebody to know ,3.0
47311,annehelena it was an attempt at humour i thought it would be funny to imply that youve never achieved anything rude and ungentlemanly ,2.0
47312,jasmean sorry for late reply roberts advice kinda far out but im supposed to let you know when it works still waiting ,0.0
47313,hate hate hate hate myself i cant do shit my therapist tries to make me feel good about doing one thing i do a day but fuck me honestly i hate how i cant do more i hate that i make everything a struggle i hate how i should be better i hate how i cant get over it i hate going out with people i hate knowing they wouldnt care if i wasnt there i hate talking because i always  fuck up being such a useless piece of shit i hate when someone tries to make me feel good about something because theyre wrong im a piece of shit i dont deserve anything i hate hoping for an opportunity to sacrifice myself for a total stranger because i know their life has more value than mine fuck me why cant i just be happy fucking selfish fat ugly entitled priviledged piece of shit people have it worse yet im still selfish and sad what a disgusting vomit vermin i am ,3.0
47314, im glad to know that my embarrassment made you laugh  they were my favorite pair of jeans sigh,2.0
47315,my favorite color dark black sad writing anxiety depression life fml ,2.0
47316,i dont know what to do with my life but even if i did i dont think id have the motivation to go through with it i have  motivation for anything even if theyre things i want to do im lazy and awkward and spiteful but exceedingly selfcentred i have the potential to be pretty good at lots of things but i give up the moment that it gets difficult and as a result of that i have no applicable skills and dont even have the selfmotivation to make up for it im literally a failure of a human being but the worst part is that i had potential i just never learned to do anything with it and so my ability has just stagnated to the point now where im below average at everything im in my last year of college uk age  but my grades are awful i dont know what im looking for when making this post but i guess i just wanted to get this out ,3.0
47317,crystalmulligan dont worry its only presale ,0.0
47318,phisigpadron oo long story i think things just might be done with danny  im still just trying to figure everything out,2.0
47319,guys im serious if minki didnt debut ill enter an eternal cycle of depression the though itself of him not debuting is stressing me out,2.0
47320,trissybear  oh and do you like my new twitter pictures,0.0
47321,tweetfunnel cooooooooool wish i can apply and attend   thank you anyway ,0.0
47322,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
47323, me too i hate my job and sea and im ret ta go lol i dont wanna wait til fall i hate hurricane season ,2.0
47324,kelly clarkson  dont hook up ,0.0
47325,just tried to eat my  a day for tea think i got broad beans coming out of my ears now fed up of veg ,2.0
47326,hey nickjonas  you were on my radio station quotkiss  gainesville but you were too busy to talk to fans holla back ,2.0
47327,sylviadiscount boo hiss thats rubbish poor you  one day you will get you revenge ,2.0
47328,mae bola tost gyda fi  happy fathers day to my mad little dad too ,2.0
47329,has quarantine helped or hurt your depression i feel a little better because everyone is staying home not doing anything not just me how has it effected you guys gals sounds terrible but im very curious,3.0
47330, nooooo im not a lightweight  there was alot of liquor in my drink,2.0
47331,lost and sad should i seek help im a  year old girl and for about the past  months ive struggled with myself and my feelings i dont know if i have depression or if its some kind of hormonal imbalance since im still a teenager but ive been sad and been anxious for everything ive had no motivation for school and life in general which i hate to admit because it sounds dramatic since ive been through nothing i dont know whats wrong with me or why im like this but i just know that im at a very low point and im just tired of constantly crying in my room everyday for several months and destroying my friendships by not being social at an age that should be my prime time in being social and happytheres some things here and there that are on my mind but i dont know if its a reason for me being so sad something that took a big toll on me is that i ruined my friendship with my closest friend she was the only person that i could be myself with  and i feel really lonely because i only had  her and now i have practically no one outside of school maybe thats something also my family is really religious and i used to be too and i really wish i still was but recently for the past  years or so ive been going further and further away from it because of distraction and also bcuz of me being too lazy and sad to put my mind to anything and i feel really lost like i just dont find any meaning in anything and i just hate doing things i guess im really insecure and i need someone in my life but still these things dont really feel like theyre the reason behind my problem i would go see a doctor but my biggest issue is that i have anxiety and im really nervous about going and then not be taken seriously i feel like theres a big chance that theyre just going to tell me to go home and rest or something like that i tried explaining the situation to my parents but theyre as confused as me because i dont know why im feeling like this so if i go and tell the doctor that there really isnt any background to this they may just tell me to go home idk im just really lost and want help because it has only gotten worse for me what should i dotldr  old girl who feels depressed but has no reason to feel like this at such a young age and is contemplating whether to seek help or not ,3.0
47332,cpmomcat oh ok  thanks for the explanation i was completely clueless ,0.0
47333,i dont feel capable of surviving id like input i dont think i belong in this world i know people say this often and it sounds cliche but i really cant keep up with the demands of just living i dont want a job i dont want to be a slave i dont want a career or title i dont want to be stuck into a box i dont want expectations or obligations i dont want to have to make money just to spend it just to be allowed to live to have a home to eat to drink water i dont want to have to look a certain way to be treated with decency i dont want to have to watch my food or exercise until my breath gets shallow i dont want to die i dont want to give birth i dont want to be stuck in the same home for  years i dont want to be forced into anything yet thats all that happens in this life i dont want to be here yet i dont want to leave my father i feel like a burden not wanting to do anything that we have to do to survive i keep asking why and i know the answer but i dont like it i know we have to do all these things to survive just to have a few good times here and there which is why i just dont feel i belong here i love seeing peoples eyes light up when they talk about their passions i love being welcomed into their homes with smiles and kindness i love laughing with someone to an inside joke i love traveling to new places and sharing experiences but in order to do all that we have to survive and i cant keep up with survival i cant keep up with the demands of living and i dont want to im trapped like this until i die and it cant be from my own hand because i cant leave my dad like that im just constantly waiting i feel like im rotting from my brain down id probably be better as a ghost since im not dead right now and im not actively dying idk what to do im not going to participate in anything that makes my life more miserable than it is so im stuck i cant survive without doing things i dont want to and yet because i dont want to im not going to im confused and lost,3.0
47334, your pedantry is impressive ,0.0
47335, aww wellnot forever you guys are still a familyits goin to be fine youre really adorable just like him ,0.0
47336,is thinking that its time to get some ink done  i know i have been saying this for awhile now but i really want some new ink d,0.0
47337,omg i need a drink somebody help me better yet someone get me a shot of  ,2.0
47338,milkbarnick  it was great to see you too i really miss hanging out hopefully ill see you again soon ,0.0
47339,want to travel while abroad but no one to go with i guess this is really just a rantrandom post because i want to get it off my chest but i dont have anyone else to tell this to so i guess you guys will be my sounding board im currently studying abroad for a semester in europe and since im going to have a lot of chances and time to travel i really want to see as much of the continent as i can next week we dont have classes which means its the perfect opportunity to go somewhere relatively close it also happens to be my  birthday and since im already in a country where im allowed to drink legally i was wanting to celebrate by going to the netherlands and celebrate becoming legal with a different sort of substance the thing is though ive been thinking and searching my contacts for weeks and have nobody to go with or celebrate with i still dont really have any friends despite being here for over a month and i just dont know how to go about finding any since university life is so different here and im socially awkward as is and most of my weekends here so far have been spent exploring nearby things by myself or in my room alone i desperately want to find people to just hang out with and have fun while here but the more time goes on the less likely it seems like ill be able to do solike i said i dont really know what im asking or saying here im just so tired of being alone here and it really hit me when after two weeks id still not found anyone who i could even travel locally with i figured it might help just putting everything down in words somewhere even if it doesnt really solve anything,3.0
47340,rt khairahvercetti absolutely being a person who struggles with both its hard to ask for help when family and friends tell you to jus ,0.0
47341,ok so my swimming lessons are finally finished and what do i do now ,0.0
47342,rt iamjoegaudet anxiety and depression is real i deal with it like everyone else youre not alone gang we all have our own battles s,0.0
47343,im so sick and tired of being sick and tiredlove white the affair ,0.0
47344, devistated youll forever be in my heart joshua shine on soldier i cant believe this,2.0
47345,i need to find a superman to save my heartim losin it forreal ,2.0
47346,alljazzzyc next week the   i knowww where were you last night,2.0
47347,setting in the lab at southern hall not a whole lot of fun ,2.0
47348,depression relapse while in the military  okay i apologize for the foul grammar beforehand i really dont have time to proofreadive dealt with what they call clinical depression since high school in my mid  now and it led to me making lots of wrong decisions with my life joining the military some months ago was one of thembefore joining the military i had my family and so to support me through it i was able to isolate myself from the mankind i despise to my guts give time and space to my own thoughts and get through it eventually id get through it however it would come back sooner or later id refuse medical treatment because i deny the scientific nature of psychology and psychiatry although ive been to therapy and abused antidepressants in the pastso im in the military as a sergeant i only have  minutes to myself where i can sneak away and there has been times it was interrupted when i had to break up fights between privates i dont have the means to go through it myself when i wasnt here for example i just cant be alone on my own give time and space to my thoughts and its making me worse and worse each day i really cant talk to me my family and so because i have so little time to make phone calls and they get worried about me as im far away and quality of the international calls here is quite shit and i cant hold a properactual conversation on phone anyway and when we talk im taking out all my anger on my loved ones which adds guilt to my baggage afterwardsi really dont have any close friends here with whom i can just unload how i feel either  theres this notebook where i write down my thoughts when i can it used to help me feel better but not anymorei feel like this is the time to give up and go see someone and start taking meds but i really dont wanna do that for the reasons i stated above and more importantly because i want to keep my medical record clean once theres a mental file opened for me ill be assigned to all the shit shameful tasks i hate the idea of the military not trusting me with an assault riflebut i really dont know what else to do im hungry but i cant force myself to eat i skipped two meals today it takes me too long time to wake up in the morning and even a longer time to fall asleep at night i go to bed hoping i will not wake up in the morning and feel disappointed when i do i dont think im suicidal too much of a coward to pull the trigger although the thought has an allureposting online about how i feel itself isnt something id do before but im quite desperate hereps utilities and stuff here isnt really too bad i dont think thats the reason for how i feel and i cant get out of here anytime soon without going awol,3.0
47349,feeling like crapagain  i never win,2.0
47350,i dont know how to talk to people about how i feel i dont even know if im depressed like i often cry in my car for no reason and have a general feeling of something like dissatisfaction with my life but im also often really happy and find joy in things a lot i guess my problem is ive always thought the symptoms of depression that i do have were things that everyone thinks but that no one talks about then i watched something snowing someone to depressed and when he talked i was like oh thats depression and not normal so im starting therapy because if nothing else i have negative self esteem issues from our first meeting i feel like she thinks i might be depressed but she doesnt do diagnosis anyway im stressed and worried about taking to her about how i feel as our sessions go on but more worried about telling other close people ive never told anyone not my husband or my closest friends and im struggling with how my family never talked about things a lot and i have a really hard time talking about feelings particularly negative ones i feel like from the outside it looks really bad that i feel i cant talk to my husband about this but he has things going on right now that are giving him a lot of stress and anxiety and i would feel shitty asking to that he would be supportive and loving and everything i needed but i would worry about him being concerned about me like i already feel like a blight on the world like the king midas of shit and feel like maybe his life would be better if he hadnt met me he definitely doesnt share the feelings and reassures me whenever i bring up feeling anything resembling this and i feel like talking to him would make it worse how do you get over all that and talk to people anyways like do i just say hey ive been thinking and after meeting the therapist i think maybe i struggle with depression here are the things ive never told you that i think that make me think that,3.0
47351,just havin a rehearsal my entrance and model pose is stolen from jeff hardy  im feeling so cool,0.0
47352,rt salon his sons death spurs no one cares about crazy people author on a mission to change attitudes on mental health httpstcoik,2.0
47353,i try so hard to be a good person and it goes unnoticed i try so hard to be good and genuine to everybody and i really believe that i am i know that i know what to say and how to make people feel better people dont view me like that though they think im funny and just a bit goofy and i dont feel like i get taken seriously i have so much trouble with girls it seems like there is something wrong with me that makes them lose all interest and i cant figure out what it is im so sick of being alone and without anyone and when it feels like im close i get hit with the gut wrenching feeling when i realise that they want nothing to do with me there isnt a single person i could talk to about anything i just feel better in my own head and i wouldnt want to share with anybody how i feel because i dont think there is anyone that knows me that would think i could ever be sad i always seem so happy and i make everyone else happy but not one of my friends would ever even think that i would be so sad and lonely literally every single girl ive been getting close to seems to just not be interested in that way and when it seems like its going anywhere theres just a moment where it ends and i realise that they dont want anything to do with me im not the best looking guy i dont think im that shocking to look at but theres something about me that just deters any girl i know it might sound like theres something im doing that i havent said and it seems like im not telling the full story but it really does feel like i am as good as i can be and it still isnt good enough,3.0
47354,online support groups i suffer from major depressive disorder mdd and generalized anxiety disorder gad and some days i dont even feel like driving to my therapist appointment i have seen a rise in the number of online therapists but i would love to see more online support groups that way you dont have to leave your house but you can still have a visual conversation with some type of video chat with other people who have depression andor a therapist facilitatingdoes this already exist that i should look into i saw one site but its booked for the next couple of weeks,3.0
47355,missxmarisa   i would fucking love to see that in rl ,0.0
47356,i dont know how to twitter ,2.0
47357,i wish sinuses didnt exist then there would be no such thing as hayfever or allergies think for the first time i have hayfever ,2.0
47358,cleaning for visitors or for the end we have family visiting in a few weeks so ive been cleaning up a storm not just to make our house look nice but because i feel i need to get things in order i just feel worthless like tyere is nothing for me i feel like a waste of space out of respect for those i love i feel like i need everything organized i dont want anyone to be put out i hate the way i feel but it is what it is am i wrong,3.0
47359,problems solved playing spore generally happy ,0.0
47360,come c us  the bk fleanew dresses amp  clermont amp lafayettelook  us on the vendor map  the front gate ,0.0
47361,thesquealer spnfreaksaumya im looking out for your mental health is all  cant go running around the house l ,1.0
47362,prof bongani mayosis death highlights mental health issues among doctors httpstcomqxnoazids,2.0
47363,being a little bit jealous cause my bestie gets to go to the pussycat dolls concert  lucky ,0.0
47364,my sister suffers from depression hi im a  year old girl living a comfortable life but it does not say this for my older sister she suffers from depression ptsd and personality disorder long time before i was born my mother set up an old lady to babysit my brother and my sister while she and my father went to work the babysitter do some horrendous things to my sister while she took care my brother well she forcely shove onions and spicy foods to her throats eventhough my sister dont want it if she refuse to eat it the babysitter will ground her to go outside behind a drain till this day my sister had a trauma of eating spicy foods and onions meanwhile my mother abuse her emotionally during her childhood and teen years my brother in the other hand treated really well and he doesnt even notice the emotional abuse of my sister since theyre  year apart for example my mother punish her for not doing her homework and thats because her so called neighbour told my mother that she didnt do her work eventually she left my sister in a restaurant alone but fortunately she pick her up moreover she called her useless and force her to do things that shes not interested in my mother always do last minute planning on her and the fact that shes used to it now nowadays its not as bad as before but shes still yell at her for not doing things right in addition to this my sister is an introvert so she has less friends during her childhood and teen years in primary school her bully which coindently my mothers friends daughter locked her in a janitors basement until she managed to get out during secondary school sheve been called names and got teased alot her depression starts when she enter to college which is hell for her since shes an introvert her so called classmates tease her for being the quiet one even with assignments her group ask her to this by herself although shes living in a bad life some of her friends she made in college help her in her life additionaly i used to be a brat and hate my sister during my childhood years as i got older my sister decided to change me and told me the truth about her and my mother in conclusion i really dont know what to do sometimes she told me that she cry herself in her sleep and suffers from major or panic attack in her class or presentation ive help her every single thing by telling her that shes not useless and shes a great person and hanging out with so she can feel happy she even said to me that she wants to live far away from my parents what can i possibly do for her am i a bad younger sibling for not noticing this when i was young i really wanted to speak this stuff to my mother but she will yell at me i just wanted my mother to stop this abuse and let my sister make her decisions of her own sorry for my bad grammar and english since im from an asian country,3.0
47365,susanscot im  carries shes feeling abit better   i aint wearing that sling it doesnt go with any my clothes haha x,0.0
47366,dont forget the uncontrollable leg kicks and arm flaps 🤣 httpstcoxamqmhbnfm,2.0
47367,hmmmm i should really stop skipping breakfasttheres a rumbly in my tumbly  ,2.0
47368,  caught my cousin katay  on candy camera ahaha love you ,0.0
47369,stephibobz thank for the followsaturday  heheee  ,0.0
47370,bajini where the heck have you been ,0.0
47371,robinwalker ummmm probably what is now known as the oldies lol but truly love most all types ,0.0
47372, oh no  i hope you get on soon  i miss you and i cant wait to see you again,2.0
47373,going home    miss you adrian,2.0
47374,contd  wilson could also endlessly mock house for his beard god i cant wait till the season  premiere of house ,2.0
47375,need to stop self pitying i need to stop self pitying or contemplating my situation i am not severely depressed i feel addicted to feeling sorry for myself though i just need to go on a rant sometimes i start picking apart my life bit by bit and i like to share online a lot of to my family i know most people couldnt give a fuck about my story i guess i was a bit of a badasslad at school but now im not i feel washed up since school right now its getting to me that i dont work i have disability money but im concerned that it will stop soon because im better mentally recently i am looking for a job but every day i have to think about it or talk about it to someone i worry i wont hold down a job because ive usually just quit because i dread it so much this is just an example of things i worry about sometimes when im really in self pitying mood i will say i have no personality and other horrible things about myself i have a girlfriend but i keep this under wraps when shes around i dont really feel like my mood is that lowgenerally my life could be a lot worse they say self pity is addictive so perhaps thats it i can make interesting conversation and be witty when i want to be i am not as sociable as i used to be im a lot less outgoing than i used to be too but time to time my mood will be in deep analytical mode i feel like venting my problems or so called problems will alleviate some of it somehow like someone will say something magical to make my situation better i want to improve but it always seems like my personality holds me back i worry that this is my life in  gear as good as i will ever be i have a girlfriend but i feel like deep down im a bit of a loser still if i can hold down a job i guess on the outside im not missing much i dont think self pitying is really me as it is something i picked up on in recent years i used to self pity or give that impression only to family someone told me to seek help online and ive become addicted to it i dont do it like everyday but now and again it feels good to vent when im manic i just act plain weird too i know a lot of people act a bit cooky when manic but mines different its like im a bit of an animal i will say horrible things to people sometimes i say things that dont even make sense or do things that dont make sense i can also post excessively on facebook lots of cringeworthy unintelligible shit i feel like this has slightly ruined my reputation further anyway anyone got any tips to stop these moods i can find myself getting into or whats even causing it i dont believe i have depression because a i could write a really sad post online where the words just splurge out then get a phone call from someone and be perfectly chirpy and b i dont really get long periods of it my mood can change throughout the day i dont even feel sad but i guess i have a lot of negative underlying beliefs about myself that i just need to spill to someone it feels so good to let it out but i dont know why i do it,3.0
47376,rt  dont try to heal yourself cut your arms and legs off one by one until your depression is gone ,2.0
47377,tomplanck great to hear you are pumped how does the saying go givem h well perhaps not appropriate ,0.0
47378,going in my studio to paint sold a few minipops today woo ,0.0
47379,dude just waxed this girl on the dance floor got mad ideas from it too ,0.0
47380,echosiren would you happen to know how to burn a dvd that plays on anything ,2.0
47381,i hate waiting im super impatient ,2.0
47382,shamazipan i would post a pic of them but the camera on my iphone doesnt work anymore ,2.0
47383,rt memetribute me trying to better my mental health httpstcoroaxndwibe,1.0
47384,not enough hours in the day im behind on some of my uni assignments now and i need to be working for hours every day to catch up with some stuff especially cos i have an exam coming up now toomy lecturers are saying that we have enough free time we can get this all done but i dont feel like i have any spare time from the moment i wake up im trying to distract myself from the reality of my lifeim supposed to be spending  mins a day on a certain unit  i havent done any of that all year because i get so easily distracted by suicidal ideationi lie in bed cry and pass time mindlessly on my phone for hours every day  and i dont want to but it isnt a conscious choice its the only thing i can do for most of the day give me some time to be depressed man,3.0
47385,woo  anniversary of tetris  looks like a tetrisy kind of day,0.0
47386,rt dlsturblng my depression im back on it,1.0
47387,dae just want to scream into the void right now because ive literally been screaming internally for weeks now and its not cutting it anymore im so dangerously close to actually screaming its concerning ,3.0
47388,schlitterbahn with nevena kayla and russell i wish jr wasnt working today ,2.0
47389,is it sad that it hurt me to mute my mutuals who are posting tdl spoilers 😅 like theyll be back on my tl as s ,1.0
47390,asronline haha used tho ,2.0
47391,rt commonwhitegiri when you are trying to fight paranoia depression dissociation while attempting to balance meaningful relationships h,2.0
47392,social media do ever post on social media with the attention of getting help but dreading anyone who follows up,3.0
47393,veganboy yummmm theres no whole foods close to me now though ,2.0
47394,to whome it may concern id like to say things will get betterbut after thirty years i cant even believe that anymore i was the nerdy kid outcast in school the person people make movies about i had no friends college was more of the same thing dated some but i guess they found me boring im not that interesting i grew a bitterness for people the older i got the less i want to be around anyone thats is one thing i did really well i longer wanted or needed attention from people feel zero need for it now in a long term relationship shes disappointed walked into my life saw something broken and wanted to fix it soon she lost her job and ive become more of a caregiver or parent with a unemployed girlfriend i find myself coming home to clean cook dinner and sleep during the week i leave the dishes for the weekend hoping shell help never does though ive been in and out of therapy a few times now i just started again this week you ever seen your life before you my relationship will struggle  to  years till she leaves ill take anti depressions meds probably never date again cause i cant trust them to like me and die from cancer at  or a heart attack around  what ive learned is everyone wants to be loved but every one wants to feel wanted as well and since you cant make someone feel wanted all the time shehe will find others with phones is easy dating app installed done i will never try again at love i dont see the point ive felt more lonely and used in relationships than well anything else and as a lay here in a empty bed at midnight i beg you are not me that you feel the way i feel cause its not a why to live you exist on the edge of a world ill never be apart of,3.0
47395,chickenhunter when scouts dont stand still so the medic can heal their dying asses because they have to be all twitchy it makes me ,2.0
47396,how to desinstalar anxiety curso para principiantes level  ,2.0
47397,justjenzz well i want to but im scared to see the results ,2.0
47398,rebel souljahs at chelseas grad party  irie beach partay ,0.0
47399,rt truehopeempower  nutritional deficiencies that may cause depression httpstconifvlpldqm mentalhealth nutrition,2.0
47400,im already sick of work ,2.0
47401,cmon people follw me ,2.0
47402,i cant go to sleep ,2.0
47403,i have no friends second day of the semester literally go the whole day without anyone talking to me tried to talk to some people and they just gave me weird looks i swear its like im the ugliest person in the world im tired of trying but i feel like theres nothing left to live for if i cant make any friends like why try to make money or get a job or finish college if its all so i can eat and fall asleep alone until i die of some other cause im tired of therapy and pills its been over  years i just want to be better already ,3.0
47404,fantastic sunshine over the weekend perfect weather for taking this for a  thanks bro ,0.0
47405,shaubjumpnow are you a skank  are you going to the shoot on sat xx,2.0
47406,day with taniaaa was pretty fabulous ,0.0
47407,i just told my dad i wanted to kill myself and he acted like words didnt even come from my mouth the one person i wanted to turn to im utterly fucking alone in this world for any reading this and care enough to be concerned ill be ok i always have been,3.0
47408,squach no problem jeff we are a patient audiencemost of the time ,0.0
47409,i hate it when hes about to come but then my depression sets in and all i want to do is die,1.0
47410,revision time ,2.0
47411,the one person who cared left me he was my only real friend i had left and he just got bored of methat usually happens a lot to me but he was the only one who promised to never leave me and he didi belived he was diferent and that he loved me like i didwe were friends but we were going down the path to be more than thatwhy does everybody leaves meam i that tiring to be with what did i do wrongi just want to hurt myself now everyone i love goes away and gets bored or loses interest in mei just wished i was never born in the first placei feel bad and unlovablei just wanted to rant a little since i dont have anyone to talk about this sorry for the long read,3.0
47412,i�m wishing everyone a beautiful today and me a good night�s rest  xo,0.0
47413,rt lillseb they were likethis sad but after they saw each other they just shone again ,1.0
47414,pastachick quite theres a moral to all of this technology is amazing it can also kill ,2.0
47415, day of my vacation dont have to be you so early   but iam up,2.0
47416,the guests have eaten all of the appetizers amp still no brideamp groom and i cant drink bc im first shift driver tonight ,2.0
47417,back is the states vacation is over  now time for customs and then the looong drive back to kennesaw from tampa,2.0
47418,i kno its late but omfg i gotz me a follower  now im not alone yay btw who is drew seely,0.0
47419, lol omg dont tempt me i just started   hours ago i need to at least be good for a day shoulda asked me yesterday ,2.0
47420,alexanderrybak  hello you wonderful person   do you still have time to check your myspace messages from time to time,0.0
47421,i want to scream so bad sometimes i just wish i could go anywhere deserted on my own and just scream as loud as i can until i have no more voice left to speak,3.0
47422,since there was like  days ,0.0
47423,what is wrong with me why do i think this way i feel so ashamed for thinking like this but im gonna say it i feel like theres something wrong with myself at times because i dont have fame yep i know thats very weird and i dont know why i feel that way but i do this has gotta be a sign that im using way too much social media or something its like im comparing myself to big artists and people who are just popular in general i need to just accept the fact that im not gonna have it right now i do believe its possible for anyone to do anything but its most likely not gonna happen tomorrow i dont know why i feel this way right now its so stupid of me i dont get it,3.0
47424,mscourt hugs ,2.0
47425,ive only been on twitter  so am i really dumb because i still only know how to write an update  if so someone please help,2.0
47426,just watched the mtv movie awards well done twilight new moon is looking epic ,0.0
47427,i really have to stop going out to eat for dinner  too much rich food not enough healthy veggies ,2.0
47428, hahaha im getting it today after my math regents ,0.0
47429,why does princess protection programme premiere on  june  thats the same day as my prom xox,2.0
47430,ooookay watching my sista madea goes to jail and imma need him to not cry like that ,2.0
47431,tpearlmoon good luck youd make the best special ed teacher ever ,0.0
47432,crying at work sitting at my desk tears all over my face i knew it was going to be a bad day but i thought going to work might distract me ,3.0
47433,watching the final tonight show with jay leno  sad ,2.0
47434,what is life life is simple if its not then make it dont know how to make it try to be your perfect self and see if you can make it simple it is easy as long as there is instruction hardwork effort that doesnt matter as much as the instruction without the instruction any effort is put to waste living without instruction is simply becoming a void of nothing and what is a void just nothing life is boring as it is right now without instructions and goals,3.0
47435,omg omg omg lol i love my bro albert he just gave me army tags so i will always remember him  aw,0.0
47436,imcudi i havent gotten a response yet cudder ,2.0
47437,siobhant i want it i love dubai ,2.0
47438, so early we just got up ,0.0
47439,anamcraveiro indeed they are ,0.0
47440,ok so ive been working on this transcription sense  this morning and i still have  min and  sec left  this take too long,2.0
47441,im not worthy of love hopefully im doing this right i still dont understand reddit and this is my first post im really just rambling and im sorry for complaining but im extremely lonely i have one friend and this past year really changed our relationship i used to think of her like a older sister and best friend combined but then she got her first boyfriend and a lot of things changedi was happy for her but their relationship highlighted everything i was missing and then i didnt really have anyone to talk to or go to support because she was apart of the situation and i didnt want to bring her down with me she also needed a lot of support from me through their ups and downs and i just felt worn to the bone from there i really wanted to maybe try to gain some more friends or even a boyfriend but im depressed and socially anxious and being around people makes me stutter my awkwardness comes into play and i want to run away and hide i feel like im trapped when people talk to me i cant escape and i dont know what to say and i just feel like a failure its almost like i just cant catch my breath and i feel light headed some times on my good days i think about possible solutions one of my big problems is that ive been depressed for so long that i never really developed any interests i dont feel like i know anything or can speak with any confidence on any topic so i want to learn push myself out there develop interests maybe even discover passions or talents but then i go through my day and it hits me fundamentally i dont think im a good person i dont think im special i dont think if i develop a skill that ill suceed in it some people just shine so brightly you can see them from anywhere in the room its like a diamond in a display case i just feel like a rock no matter how many times im polished at my very core im not any breathtaking inside or out how can i want great friends an amazing love story and an unforgettable life if i cant give anything back im just not worthy of the things i want,3.0
47442,rt httweets though the increase is not lifethreatening such changes can be associated with feelings of anxiety,1.0
47443,recently accepted i was depressed and got help hey everyone just wanted to share my story in december my girlfriend of almost three years broke up with me after trying my hardest to repair things and work things out on my end she told me she wasnt interested in pursuing anything its a very long and complicated thing but this isnt the pointthis past week i finally went and got help my dr diagnosed me with depression and put me on an antidepressant im tired of dealing with the constant ruminations the constant thoughts about what i could have done better or the thoughts of me being a failure im tired of crying and the sad thoughts about what ive lost in a way you know youve done everything you could and that its not all your fault when a relationship ends but telling yourself that logically is alot different than emotionally accepting it its so hard every day to fight those feelings and to fight the pain that it seems existence has become a world without her in a way depression feels alot like wanting to go home even when you are home you always have that feeling im planning on taking these to get myself in a better place to move along anyways im hopeful and am dedicated to besting this each day is a struggle but im doing my best stay strong friends,3.0
47444,rt taergaeryen i was at the mental hospital and millie bobby brown was there  she pushed me down and said anxiety is just a word dont,2.0
47445,expecto patronum  nothing happens ,2.0
47446,why can i not open any links on twitter  ,2.0
47447,chiacy my neighbour im confused ,0.0
47448,im overly insecure im extremely insecure and its ruining my relationship i constantly think my boyfriend hates me or doesnt care about me he can say something with no ill intent and somehow my brain finds a way to twist it i constantly feel like he wants someone else or that im not good enough for him for no apparent reason i just dont know what to do anymore i really cant understand why someone would love me theres nothing to love so when he tells me he does its so hard for me to accept it its hard for me to accept anything positive my boyfriend is starting to get really tired of me asking if he hates me or if he thinks im stupid etc and i feel so bad because it seems like everything he says offends me like i dont know why my brain takes everything as an attack i wish i could just take things for what they are instead i overthink and make things such a big deal i feel like im making my boyfriend and i so miserable i wish i could control it,3.0
47449,sitting and waiting for the pens game to come on  yay,0.0
47450,rt steamymac two depressed sacks of shit getting together for the saddest intercourse in the history of sad intercourse,2.0
47451,abb lmaoo but i dont wanna be an it teacher   she bloody should yes you are just so kind abbey  tweettt,2.0
47452, oh we must be related ive heard that line before ,0.0
47453,heading to greenwhich with the kidslooks beauitful outside ,2.0
47454,is broke at the end of last month paying her income tax and is broke the start of this month after paying her insurance ,2.0
47455,i was diagnosed with depression and gad a few years ago it sucks people who never have to deal with the illness will never understand the pain we go through everyday is a fight internally and externally getting out of bed is a hassle even waking up is too your mind never shuts up but you are mentally exhausted from the intense feeling of anger and anxietysmall things like brushing your teeth is such a hard hurdle to overcome even though you could do it no problem years agohell trying to make friends is even harder you want to make them but you dont want to because of lack of energy and overthinking if i say this will this person attack mefuck my dad fucked me up he truly did thanks to his temper while drunk i feel as though people will just snap at me and try to beat the fuck out of me i grew up as wimp thanks to my dad instead of building me up to become a man he rather push me down everytime i got up even video games make me feel inadequate anything i do makes me feel inadequate even if i do something right i am wrong,3.0
47456,aw thanks for the video tina now its pool timeeee ,0.0
47457,all sets for a healthy lifestyle ,0.0
47458,knowvacancy lol what a sight that would be to see   ,0.0
47459,koreaboo i cant believe that they actually used this photo im disappointed and sad and angry and mad,2.0
47460,lexadawn yeah im like technology stupid so i wont be videochatting ,2.0
47461,hazalselena oo i wanna come with you ,2.0
47462,how did it get so late ,2.0
47463,im totally exhausted im so dirty im going to take a nice and hot bath later ,0.0
47464,icbth everyone is like leaving ,2.0
47465,epavlov dont say that to an englishman ,0.0
47466,help please i have no motivation to do anything but sleep and listen to music please help i feel useless and i just want to like not exist for a while,3.0
47467,kimkardashian i did  most arabs try it atleast once in their life,0.0
47468,still hating that i missed mobicamp ,2.0
47469,woke up wsore throat must b getting old immune system isnt what it used to be trick knee is also in full effect got a limp going on ,2.0
47470,i give up on happiness ive been struggling with depression for years now and ive always been able to handle it until recently i think to fully understand the title of this post i need to type out some background  was the worst year of my life i graduated with my masters degree and just felt awful i felt like i didnt deserve it and like a giant waste of space i moved an hour away from home to obtain my degree thinking it would help make me happier but it made things worse i realized about two months before i had to move back home that i was feeling more suicidal than i ever had in my life and the thought of living with my dad again made everything so much worse but i had no job no money and a pile of student loan debt so i had no choice but i did fine a ray of hopein april i met a guy on an online dating site and we hit it off we became friends and started dating he introduced me to a friend of his who was looking for a roommate starting in august my ray of hope became stronger because i thought i can handle two months with my dad my dad is an alcoholic and he knows the alcohol raised his blood sugar and pressure but he drinks anyway i tried to help him in may since i knew id be moving out soon and he wouldnt have anyone but that let to a disagreement which caused him to hide his drinking from me then his mom died and he still refused to admit he was drinking two weeks later his dad died i also got my first big girl job at a crisis call center it was horrible the job literally made me sick but it was all i could get at the time after a month of working there i got a job for an agency that only strung me along they kept saying we will give you clients but they never did with everything going on my soon to be roommate had to do all the legwork on finding a place to live then suddenly i found out that my best friends good friend needs a place to live and wanted to see if he could also be my new roommate it seemed like a good idea so i went with it come august i finally had a place i could call home away from my dad but its never felt like home here i cant have any pets despite me saying that was a necessity my best friends friend is a messy roommate and stresses me out but i was able to get a job in my field social work that actually gave me clients and money so it seemed like things were looking up i began studying to take my social work liencsure exam and felt okthen in september my had a stroke he spent  weeks in the icu and on top of dealing with the damage from the stroke he also had to go through alcohol withdrawals i dont think ill ever get the images of him being there out of my head by october he was sent home but couldnt be alone so i had to move back in with him to help him luckily he recovered quickly and i was able to move back with the new roommates so that we could continue to grow in our new and improved relationship during all of this i quit my job and failed my exam but my dad was going to pay my bills until i found something else then i found out he was drinking again and hiding it from me again at this point i became desperate to find something because i had to pay my bills on my own in case my mention of his alcoholism made him mad enough to cut me off that desperation led to me getting scammed out of  for a job offer in october i was realized im in love with my friend the one who introduced me to one of my new roommates i told him and he doesnt love me back we are still friends and is constantly giving me mixed signals he thinks he cant fall for me because hes been fucked over too many times in the past by women who werent finicially independent  now i have a job in a call center im terrified that my friend is going to fall in love with someone else and rip my heart out im afraid of losing the job i hate because i need the money i cant even afford to pay all my bills with this job because the pay is so terrible but its just barely enough to make due and allows me to pay the minimum payments on stuff the benefits are terrible i have had a girl issue for the last two months but no money to go see about it suddenly on sunday i noticed swelling and got really freaked out that it was cancer or something really serious so i made an appointment despite the fact that it would mean i lose six hours of pay only for the swelling i was so concerned about to be gone now i just feel completely worhtless and i hate myself so muchi really feel like its never going to get better every time i experienced happiness last year it only lasted a day because something else awful happened so far this year is going the same way my relationship with my dad is simultaneously getting better and worse my feelings for my friend are growing stronger i think my health is declining i hate my job more and more every day im not working in my field and i dont want to which makes me feel like a giant waste of everything im sorry this is so long and personal im sorry for posting this because i dont believe im worth anything right now,3.0
47471,i have social anxiety and will sometimes avoid totally normal things i have to do if it involves having to initiate a conversation,1.0
47472,kathmccarthy just took a look at it but why did she say that seems out of place for me anyway like i said im from mars ,0.0
47473,on the way home from mabel hse with num king n the fart king   httptweetsg,0.0
47474,i cant maintain my progress ever im backsliding again and again i was doing so well taking my pills every day even though they make me sick now im back to forgetting or ignoring them every morning i was on a diet and losing weight and feeling awesome from eating veggies and cutting out soda but now im right back to fast food every day and feeling like shit i cant maintain anything in my life and i feel like garbage i hate myself for not having selfcontrol and i really hate the people who make it seem so easy i hate their cringey inspirational onesizefitsall sayings and their recycled uninspired therapy i hate their effortless lives and the disgust they show when i cant drag myself out of bed long enough to do laundry i hate that im not visibly ill i wish i had broken bones or rotting wounds or something that they could see that would get it through their thick heads that im suffering i wish i didnt care about what they think of meits not easy im not lazy i cant just do better you know what would be better never having to wake up againim so tired,3.0
47475,lauramoorcroft are youuu going i have no money ,2.0
47476,aliciavintage yepp its on my birthday ,0.0
47477,thanks love ,0.0
47478,rt  you know what makes me really sad and its something bts have talked about how fast everything is going for them theyre do,1.0
47479, another game from motion twin ,0.0
47480,counting down until  ,0.0
47481, oh goodness yesss  loved the way he said that lt ,0.0
47482,got a twitter app for my ipod ,0.0
47483,customer service and sales are not the same thing aaahhhhhh man ,2.0
47484,feliciaday hell yes  dks are the shizz  i love mine hes a better tank at level  than my fury warrior is at level   ,0.0
47485,ddlovato im sure you will demi  ,0.0
47486,sharing depression helloas someone who loves spongebob especially patrick and suffers from chronic depression i have several questions about the manner in which this condition affects your relationships  many here believe in the saved myth where someone will come either help you directly or bring about the motivation you needed all along to help yourself does this ever happen to anyone does it ever last   then i find myself wandering about the morality of it all is taking advantange of someone falling in love with you  for whatever reason  ok  is it ok to just let the person you presumably love bind themselves to a sinking stone  is it ok to prevent them from enjoying the simple pleasures of life by keeping them from having a real living partner  what about friends  most leave after a bout of depression makes my hands too heavy to pick up the phone and my voice too trembling to stop their reprimands and those brave enough to stay i push as far as i can either because i dont deserve them or because if they have stayed something is certainly wrong with them  or maybe they want something from me so is it possible to share the life of someone suffering from severe depression or dysthymia please note that this is about me anyone who might be offended by the images in this post  these are not factual depiction but rather distorted selfimages created by a fucked up brain that hates its owner it is definetly not about you the sponge bob reference is just not define myself entirely as a depressed person,3.0
47487,vickinicole are there escorts on the fatforums or is it mostly cam stuff just curious ,0.0
47488,rt scottsantens annual incomes and employment rates dont show the massive amount of variance in our monthly earnings a ,1.0
47489,coffee lady where are you  is when you are supposed to come and save me  its  ,2.0
47490,i have a  off code for dfest tickets if you order them online who wants it ,0.0
47491,crasssie awww  are you still coming to europe,2.0
47492,my friends sadness is making me anxious i have a friend that im trying to support through her relationship shes gay maybe thats important to know so you can be assured our relationship is strictly as friends i care about her so much but shes in a relationship with her girlfriend who has been sick for a very long time lately its been a lot more sick and my friend is feeling super down and has so much going on ive been trying to support her through this and assuring her that none of it is her fault however ive noticed because i care about her so much that ive been feeling anxious now im constantly wondering if shes doing okay and my minds been racing is there anything i can do to prevent this,3.0
47493, crap  his last tweet rules out kfc man  lol,2.0
47494,schwergeiler donnow tell me a time and i�ll be there ,0.0
47495,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
47496,cant convince myself to do school work and i dont know what to do im in my sophomore year of college and the will to do homework is slowly going away ive realized recently that im depressed after years of denial and beforehand i would end up getting my work done because i knew what would happen if i didnt but that sort of energy jolt has gone away recently ive stopped going to class doing projects and homework and even when i try i cant focus because i would just rather be laying in bed doing nothing but trying to sleep if im being honest its only the money going into school thats keeping me from dropping out and spending the rest of my life working a shitty job and laying in bed when im not working im not sure where to go at this point because dropping out is not an option but currently in my brain neither is doing any of my work,3.0
47497,im so obcessed with watching hannah montana haha ,0.0
47498,i cant sleep ,2.0
47499,whats the point in living i think i have a good life and can be happy with small things i help others in need as much as i can i work hard  workout hard and try to enjoy my life recently i had a anxiety attack i havent seen a psychiatrist but i had these kind of attacks when i was in my early twenties and thought i passed through them at the dentists chair since then it all spiraled down and for some couple of months now i have this dark mood on me thinking about death a lot loosing the ones i love loosing my life and i started to ask myself whats the point in all of these since its all gonna end someday i do meditation try to stay in the moment enjoy my life but this thought of death hunts me in every possible moment anyone experienced similar to this any advice ,3.0
47500,loving spotify  get to list to daniel merriweathers new album at work cos i dont have my itunes purchase on this computer ,0.0
47501,seesalt mvlog  doesnt work i feel like im missing out seesalt stalking means ill know all the new people before i get there ,0.0
47502,oh oh oh i want  but i has so little moneys ,2.0
47503,bring me the horizonthe devil wears pradaand as i lay dying are my new favorite bands ,0.0
47504,missmelbourne no monday delight hmm id pick mystical monday it might turn to be a good monday ,0.0
47505,do things ever get better every year things get worse  i was dumped on christmas but not until she got her presents from me for her and her daughter been sick with the flu for  weeks since did not get to see my family at all because i wanted to spend it with my gf and her family because they asked me to and now i am being told by my doctor that i may have a seizure disorder and he wants to take away my license for six months my job requires me to drivei just am at the end of my rope i have no friends or family here to help me and i do not know how much longer i can keep up with this i dont know what to do the depression is always there in the back of my mind even when things are good but now it is so strong i cant think of anything else i have never felt so alone i dont know what i hope to get out of this posting i just cant keep this in anymore i want to explode,3.0
47506,why can no one cover my shift i cover ppls shifts all the time this sucks ,2.0
47507,xskylines thank you ,0.0
47508,kobes  disneyland amp im in san diego not getting my jersey autographed   wtf karma what did i ever do to you,2.0
47509,i just feel worthless i used to have everything at an okay point but i fucked myself over i stopped going to high school for a year did online went back stopped going again its not even like i dont do school or i dropped out i do online i just see everyone have these experiences and im missing out i never went to a homecoming i never went to a prom i tried once and i got kicked out after five minutes because i went to go put something in my car and they wouldnt let me back in i was on antidepressants and medicine for my anxiety i thought i had caring friends around me eventually i started smoking weed more and more went from a only at parties thing to everyday i always have it around me since my sister is a big pothead and her boyfriend sells i was in a relationship that was toxic cheated on more times than i probably well ever even really know they left and i just went to weed to feel better and never stopped it made the days go by easier than normal i stopped taking my medicine stopped going to the appointments for it and just started relying on weed to get me through the depressive episodes i often have now its been probably a year since then i smoke a little less now than i was for a long time but still way too much probably getting back on my medicine is a big hurdle now something that would take quite a bit of effort to do since the place i was going cut me as a patient therapy and all because i missed all of the appointments i just wanted to change too late now im just a pothead with a part time job barely making anything no plans for my future because i dont even know what my possibilities are right now way less friends less than i ever thought id have the ones i do have i couldnt talk to about anything i dont have anyone to talk to about anything my family cares too much theyre the best part of my life my mom and my sister are the only things keeping me from considering suicide as even an option but if i told them how i genuinely felt about life it would just hurt them they went through it already and its my fault i dont have that help now where im at now is all my fault i dont even know how to meet new people anytime i do i just mess it up ive always had problems with people just not liking me i try to be nice to everyone i meet but i just end up doing something never even knowing what i did and they dont like me im so lonely its crazy ive never felt so alone every time i do meet someone friend or romantically i always end up getting left ghosted i put my trust in them and it just gets me hurt every time  i just cant control it i dont know what to do i dont know how to be a better person i dont know what about me i need to work on i dont know if it really is me and im the reason it always happens or if i have bad luck i dont even know if im a good person i have no idea i want to be i try to be but am i or am i just a bad person trying to be good i know this sounds so generic and stupid but honestly i feel like theres no one on this planet who understands how i feel how i am i feel like im the weirdest fucking person and i really hate it sorry i know this was a mess and it has  order to it really i just had to get some of my thoughts out i hold them in too long never used to be a problem for me but now here i am venting to reddit thanks for reading if you have,3.0
47510,i am so fed up with the people in this world for so long ive felt so empty nothing in my life seems to give any worth nothing feels like it matters i get a girlfriend i still feel empty i get friends i still feel empty i try and work on myself and i still feel empty the worst part of it is the anger though i feel so angry at the world everyone is so stubborn and selfish no one cares about each other anymore maybe they never did they dont treat me with respect they dont treat others with respect all they seem to respect is themselves i swear to god im going to snap one of these days when i was younger i used to think i was always the one that was wrong i was the pathetic one the stupid one the weak one who would never amount to anything of worth after years of this crap im done with it all im not whats wrong the world is whats wrong have we all gone crazy or something all life is is building insecurities in the weak people tricking them into thinking their lives will actually amount to something of value when they achieve what theyre missing out on my whole life people made fun of me because i couldnt get a girlfriend then when i was finally able to get over my social anxiety and talk to girls it didnt even fill that goddamn hole in me everyone is awful absolute fucking garbage i am too but at least i can see it lately this desire has been growing in my mind thinking about what itd be like to have so much power that you can literally end everyone all at once so many pathetic lives thankfully put to waste in a second thats all they are just trash,3.0
47511,he passed out next to me because he knows my mental health is deteriorating and i needed some comfort ,1.0
47512,magischerita ik overleef de stress juist door mij te concentreren op mijn doel ik weet daardoor zeker dat ik de g ,2.0
47513,kathyxxxx shellyxxxx its a good story really ,0.0
47514,rt konk men seeking help for depression anxiety or any mental health issue is an act of self  love that you deserve dont suffer in,1.0
47515,finishing the video fuck me its so long ,2.0
47516,is this how depression feels like  my vision gets super blurry and i dont even know what im doing when im doing it my body is full of energy but internally im tired,3.0
47517,everyday feels the same i dont look forward to anything anymore feels like  my life is on loop ,3.0
47518,rt aieos me to my anxiety ,2.0
47519,chuckboycejr peoplebrowsr is working the same way  please see dm for more explanation,0.0
47520,i feel like i should not have been born in this world ever since my childhood i have been bullied and left alone by all of my friends even some of my relatives because im having a disability because of this i fear to talk with anyone just pure nervous what they will think about me this has made me an shy introvert who is really hard to talk to,3.0
47521,i think im sick ,2.0
47522,moved an hour and a half away from my parents feeling intense grief as a result my husband and i just moved about an hour and a half away from my parents to a city i am having a lot of trouble driving in due to anxiety and im feeling a lot like i did last time i was depressed i feel anxious and isolated and so fucking sad this move is going to be for about seven years and i know i can go see my parents whenever but when i think about my family i cry ive been here one day and its happened three times now and again as i type this i have so much unpacking to do and i just want to sleep i am anxious about everything and so sad it feels like my parents are dead obviously thats irrational because theyre not and i can in fact see them relatively easily — like i said  minute drive anyone experienced depression after relocating how did you cope,3.0
47523,rt forjungs jangan sampai trending sensor namanya he doesnt need to see his name trending bc of this sad newsim shaking and i didnt,2.0
47524,rt jhsmiiehoya im so sad i hope my bub and his family are ok ,1.0
47525,traditional chippy takeaway  ,0.0
47526,trying to fix my sunglasses with glue both my favorite big ass white pairs are broken ,2.0
47527,lucass at  or at  ,0.0
47528,wee updating guys  currently checking my accounts ,0.0
47529, looks like theyve enables personalisationhavent visited google news in ages rely on my rss for news ,0.0
47530,unsuccessfully spent a couple of hours looking for some nice brown steeletos ,2.0
47531,spaghetti  check  bolognese  check  aampw  check  im ready t make pasta    httptweetsg,0.0
47532,hurts so much  owowowow,2.0
47533,jswo i just want it to be great today happy birthday to mom lol im glad for the low stress  thats always a good thing,0.0
47534,depression around period is worse any research articles about this i generally feel shitty about everything in my life but around my period it is immensely worse i feel completely hopeless like every decision i make is driving me deeper into this inescapable hole ive dug myself into i know this is due to my hormones around my period im just wondering if this is normal it doesnt just seem like pms to me i do have hormone imbalance issues but over the years these massive depressive states around my period have gotten worse any advice or research anyone has come across do you experience this as well,3.0
47535,in the need for a really good foot massagetheyre killing me ,2.0
47536, days to go and i still dont know what to do how will i even spend the  and my mom said save it as much as possiblewth l ,2.0
47537,wondering why clients cant give me more notice before a saturday cancellation ,2.0
47538,rockrfilms yo savannh whats up do you like sims  cuz i dont like any sims i just dont ,2.0
47539,shanel is that because the chair is stuck in a java class ,0.0
47540,thrice roll the dice eat some ice look at the mice comb the lice cook some rice cause im nice ,0.0
47541,okay like honestly this crush is so damn dumb nothings ever going to happen which is totally fine but im alway httpstcocioburdfcy,1.0
47542,chrissinicole yay sun haha  im outta herefreeway time have an amazing wknd in napa ,0.0
47543,lopchelle are you feeling better   dont liei will be able to tell,0.0
47544,eternelle happy birthday and sorry for waking you up ,2.0
47545,is getting sleepy and missing my baby and yeah im trying this twitter thingy hehe ,0.0
47546,how can a male be emotional enough to be depressed and suicidal seems pathetic to me whenever shit pisses me off if i think of anything its homicide that comes first ive never been depressed or suicidal yet i am not happy im just either pissed or content not a shit post just asking,3.0
47547,i loveeee immortaltech  obnoxious nigga thats how i deal wit enemies like prolifers that support the death penalty,0.0
47548,waiting to fall asleep 💤 anyone here doing the same sleeping pill,3.0
47549,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
47550,head hurts wicked bad ,2.0
47551,got english lit prerelease today doesnt look good havent read through it but it looks hard and i struggle with unit  anyway fuck ,2.0
47552,fighting depression i was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia schizophrenia is certainly a disease to me it takes over your mental turning you into a zombie only capable of the most basic understanding of reason my thoughts were lost in fantasy i had no way of knowing i was psychotic to a t then i began treatment when my mom called a treatment center i spent  years in treatment for paranoid schizophrenia i was injected with  of abilify every month or my parents were going to kick me out i wish i could take back those  years because they were essential to the relationships i couldve had today the abilify wasnt working it was causing me to become severely restless to the point i couldnt sit in a chair for more than  minutes so we changed medications a few times but my suicidal thoughts continued they would lead me to attempt suicide after being in treatment for  years i was dropped due to reaching out to my therapist on snapchat before i attempted suicide i was in the hospital for a month on an iv drip of potassium and water eventually then sent me the mental ward where i stayed a couple weeks i got home with suicidal thoughts worse than ever do to my cognitive decline after drinking the poison i stopped eating and drinking for a week id have sips of water but never more i became mad frustrated angry paranoid and depressed i was not doing well that was until i was so paranoid i thought people were in my house so i called the police on myself i got transferred to another mental ward where we played around with ssris finally something that would actually help i was very happy and grateful for my doctor ever since my life has significantly improved since then im trying to make friends i lost during highschool during this epidemictldr  theres hope for you,3.0
47553,kidfury i suggest up ,0.0
47554,kathyreiff i cant believe i signed up for booth duty during that lunch keynote timeslot i look forward to your detailed afterreport ,0.0
47555,stephenmulhern i would love to have gone but im too skint  not fair,2.0
47556,rosshill hehe neither do i but in london it made far more sense than here   users in london more social,0.0
47557,summergonecrazy i told ya im soo preverted ,0.0
47558,tracecyrus   i cant go to your concert in the uk my parents wont let me   btw trace youre married to th ,2.0
47559,im in such a blah mood ,2.0
47560,benhall that usually adds up to the same thing a sad ben ,0.0
47561,going to see what the big fuss is about so its a quiet night with me and my pal gossip girl season  wow stimulating tv ,2.0
47562,tracecyrus i love norway i wanna go to oslo and see you guys live  but its too far away,2.0
47563,ending my night with this one quoti wish you were herequot quotmonuments and melodiesquot mah album of the year  gni ♫ ,0.0
47564,itz  in the mornin n i cnt sleep n on top of thatim wasstttteedddsike nah but i cnt sleep doe ,2.0
47565,im currently going through my annualseasonal depression and i think its time that i start to see someone anyone have suggestions severe depression runs on the maternal side of my family and out of my siblings i definitely suffer the worst from it i definitely started to realize that this has become an annual thing usually starting in january and then going through until like may however with classes going on im a senior at college roommate issues no sex drive and extreme insecurities things have just gotten miserable im angry im manic and ive been sleeping like shitive come to the conclusion that i need to get the hell out of this rut so im coming to reddit to ask for advice where do i starthow should i go about finding a therapistwho should i talk withwhat are some ways to get out of these bad habitsanything and everything helps,3.0
47566,thestafford oops darn blackberry keyboard i hit quotkquot instead of quotlquot ,2.0
47567,i is gotta go do dishes  be right back tho,2.0
47568,kylelamm its sad that it comes this,2.0
47569,stephencole early is before midnight for you midnight is normal round here ,0.0
47570,oh my gosh im so tired i can barely even stand up for some reason ,2.0
47571,is listening to girls aloud  watched the hills earlier cant wait for tomorrows episode looks great x,0.0
47572,dont want to be awake dont want to be asleep i dont want to be awake because my life sucks right now i dont want to sleep because ive been having a lot of bad dreams lately,3.0
47573,rt hoodsocialist i know she probably had a lot of people bashing her for her post but shes right amp a lot of people dont talk about thi,0.0
47574,by a truck  and were killed and the worst part was the she happened to drive by and see the crash  im really upset,2.0
47575,please listen to what i have to say it can help you i suffer from chronic depression its like a bout of pneumonia except it inflicts you not in body but in mind and spirit i wish to open my heart to express my pentup feelings i hope people care to stop by this and read closely you do not have to agree with my words but kindly do me a favor and read what i have to sayi am not going to say that god loves you all so as to keep you folks alive to suffer again and again for all i know god could live or die and i could care less i care enough about all of you to say that each and every one of you deserve all the happiness you can get i have seen humanity do terrible things i have done terrible things but i have faith in humankind i bear no grudges i bear no hatred i wish humanity well and would do anything to ensure the safety of every being present on earth irrespective of gender race etci am currently in a state of depression like ive said before its hit me like a bout of anesthesia lack of incoherence of mental clarity physical fatigue etc plague my psyche life has been harsh enough but i am not bitter deep down in my heart i love you all and hope for the bestps im angry enough to chastize the god of this worldassuming he exists with all the vitriol possessing my body and spirit but it is a useless effort im sorry for being so pessimistic though,3.0
47576,rt  depression is not funnyanxiety is not funnyschizophrenia is not funnyselfharm is not funnyanorexia is not fun,0.0
47577,almost time for lenos last show  ,2.0
47578,its my bestfriends birthday and im not even home to see her ,2.0
47579,being bord  and eating crackers ,0.0
47580,long nasty day did get to drive stormy yes had a slip and feel bad about that ,2.0
47581,nysfeddibuilder nm really just been sick these past couple of days sucks ,2.0
47582,anyone else experience anxiety and depression to be clear rather than the usual fog my depression has evolved into it being so clear of what i can think and feel instead of that hazy fog i used to feel anyone else have that same feeling if so what is that clear feeling for you,3.0
47583,my writing helps a bit i return occassionally to a section of the book i am writing because it so perfectly captured what i felt at the time this was a period of overwhelming hopelessness and despair and as ruinous as it was for my mental and physical health it turned out to be great fodder for the section of the story in which the main character considers suicideat that instant i looked at this body and soul with which i had been cursed and i respectfully returned my ticket to whatever force had malevolently animated them or at least knowing heaven to be merely imagined i did equivalently to what ivan karamazov had declared  and may it choke on its erstwhile gift man does not ask to be born what supreme hubris it is to force life upon him and then chastise the courageous and clear who declaim nevermore shall i be slave to the depredations of existence henceforth i renounce the ignominy of this earth is it not their right to do so why do we say such men are mad because they reject the dubious bestowal of their indifferent creator man fears what he does not understand and no one can understand the termination of consciousness moreover he seeks to destroy or discredit those he fears our madhouses are filled with people who refused to play this gamei imagine many of you feel or felt the same at some point and i rarely read or see an honest attempt to grapple with the power of these thoughts,3.0
47584,archangelmaggie at least you got to go and have an awesome time  and also i heard you met melisaxoarchie  ,0.0
47585,rt sosadtoday same anxiety different day,2.0
47586,what a crazy day  great trainingthe basics blow my mindbring on tuesday ,0.0
47587,lovexmonsters clings i just wanna lay in bed for the rest of the day but that is not an option fml ,2.0
47588,at work ,2.0
47589,longest time you havent left your house i think i went about  months or maybe more perhaps i went out the odd emergency reason but overall sleeping in bed til  and never saw sunlight for monthssince i got a job its weird i hate leaving the house but find when i return from work im depressed and want to not be in the house,3.0
47590,dont know how to catch up xposting from radvice im honestly not even sure where to start with this so im just gonna start talking and hope that its intelligiblei just turned  a couple months ago and im really wanting to stretch my wings and start living life again but i dont know how to do that when ive fallen somewhere about  years behind on just about everything in my lifei was pulled out of school in the  grade to be home schooled haha that didnt happen so everything ive learned since then has pretty much been from reddit and youtube i know enough to generally get by on a daytoday basis but im still missing a lot of basic fucking knowledge that i really should have and more importantly a ged so i have at least the bare minimum chance at finding a job ive tried khan academy and my math skills alone are probably still somewhere around middle school level at best i dont know how long its going to take me to catch back up to where i should be or honestly if i even can at this pointthe other joy of home schooling is the lack of social interaction ive had since then which probably puts me at around middleschool level in that category as well i at least had friends online id talk to every day up until a few years ago  but i was a massive dick and managed to scare them off not even being hard on myself i was an asshole and i did a lot of introspection after i lost them to try not to let it happen again im not sure how to talk to people anymore and ive basically regressed back to the same shy quiet kid i was when i was  years old i used to at least be funny but that muscles atrophied thanks to not having anyone to talk to tooso heres today im  years behind on education i dont have any friends i dont have any social experiences within the last  years i dont have any connections i dont have any money i dont have any work experience i dont even know how to do my own fucking laundry or cook for myself all i have is art which im not even that good at and i kinda wonder whats the pointespecially after hearing more about the death of daniel kyre musiciancomedian from cyndago incredibly kind and funny dude super talented musician friends that love and cared about him everyone that he met only had positive things to say even if they only knew him for a few months he had everything that i want i feel shitty taking his death and making it about me but thats what humans do were shitty and we relate things to ourselves and even still at around my age he took his own lifeif i could read my own obituary it wouldnt be more than a sentence longim not suicidal yet i may be going on  years of depression but ive never gotten as far as trying to kill myself so dont worry about this being a suicide note or anything though i could also see someone looking through my history a year from now and saying oh so this is where it started i guess its just a crossroads and i dont know which path leads to where i want to be and which one ends with that  obituaryi get the idea of everyone moves at their own pace dont try and rush yourself to catch up to others or whatever but if i dont move at some point im going to stay like this for the rest of my life however long that is sitting on my ass in my room browsing reddit living to die unrememberedi dont know what to do and im overwhelmed and scared,3.0
47591,just made a youtube vid  and is posting it right now,0.0
47592,at the mall place is packed as usual bought some nice and cheap cds now in line for some shrimp and cheese ,0.0
47593,rt peytonreedus ok please you guys i saw him smoke  cigs in an equivalent of  mins today and it made me sad   please retweet,0.0
47594, sorry kiddo dont think i can help you there  ,2.0
47595,dark night of the soul still not totally awake ,0.0
47596,listening to rumor girls uncut  whatever happened to that podcast  i miss it  ,2.0
47597,on my new laptop d i cut my finger ouch ,2.0
47598,domskiondeck hahahaha you know i luh you boo ,0.0
47599,templesmith i tweeted someone asking if obrian cleaved jays desk in twain and made off with some wenches dont think he got the joke ,2.0
47600, im  so when you turn  are you gonna chance your twitter name ,0.0
47601,first song i heard on the radio this morning on the way to work   and yes i had a good day ,0.0
47602,trying to find the strength to understand  years old  i live on my own even though im not ready  ive got called into work sick  times in the past  or  weeks  idek at this point  simply because i cant gather the strength to leave my house  ive noticed since ive moved out i drink every opportunity i get whether im out with friends or know i have enough for a small case of beer  ive tried phone lines  talking to friends  ive tried finding hobbies  i always end up in the same shitty position and empty feeling  of course i would like to live normally  and enjoy my life and do what i need to do to fix my life and make sure i can properly take care of myself and support myself  but i just feel so lonely and isolated from everything and everyone that it doesnt feel worth it to keep making the effort  it just seems like im trying to look for pity or play the victim card for something i cant even explain and theres no physical symptoms too  im just so stressed and drained from existing  and that in itself doesnt even make any sense idk what this is  vent of things ive given up trying to express i guess  hoping i will hear something that will help me  or just trying to let something go idk  its rough out here and im reaching lows ive never imagined myself in before and in the end all i really feel is scared because idk how its going to turn out  and where i will be or who i will become in a year from now,3.0
47603,helencrozier hey i hit  on flight control the other day hubby is at   how was your wend,2.0
47604, bout  weeks tho should be up an about for longer before that fella home from sea tonight too so more help  no nookie tho ,2.0
47605,i am not impressed with how cold it is ,2.0
47606,whatthedeuce im so not in the mood to write reflection papers ,2.0
47607,scottique the only reason i havent done this is because i know it would devastate my follower numbers ,2.0
47608,ranza ah okay ��ill try using that instead ,0.0
47609,shaundiviney please call again i missed the call pleeeease ive been waiting and waiting for it and i missed it  u only called once,2.0
47610,thats us just come to loch lomond going to stop and get some nice pics ,0.0
47611,picking up someone  the airport ,0.0
47612,looking for somewhere in london that sells haggis anyone got any ideas neither of the supermarkeys in maida vale have it ,2.0
47613,rt baldboyblues is isolating myself from everyone bad for my mental health  yes will i continue doing that  absolutely,0.0
47614,with so many different options i should feel popularyet i just feel bombarded ,2.0
47615,astartiel i want that koala that you have to get by special order i also have a large collection of stuffed lambs ,0.0
47616,xxfriendxx i dont know why but these days i begin being tired    today   oo really crazy and not normal for little nightowls ,2.0
47617,mentalstrawbery have fun ,0.0
47618,ok one last thing if anyone shouldnt be drinking energy drinks its kids kid next to me is sipping on a guru parentingfail ,2.0
47619,rt belize i know my depression is at its peak when i dont even have a appetite after i smoke,1.0
47620,london clothes show was amazing  loads of freebies,0.0
47621,amandahamilton your myspace link seems to me broken ,2.0
47622,why do i keep worrying ,2.0
47623,fruityalexia i know the feeling i generally have to work pub hols too ,2.0
47624, no wont be doing that one ,2.0
47625,rt livpsy be with someone who is good for your mental health,0.0
47626,everyones abandoning the office i still have  hours to go  ,2.0
47627,there goes all my progress in my mental health im so fucking broken,0.0
47628,is exhausted and isnt lookin forward  work tomorrow ,2.0
47629,zrce get  followers a day using wwwtweeteraddercom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
47630,that girl ,2.0
47631,partners of people with depression or people with depression and partners what helps my so often feels worthless lonely were long distance but he was having issues before that and generally not good enough its really hard to know what to do because all the websites only tell you what not to do i dont know anyone else who has confided in me about depression so i thought id ask the community what can someone do to help their depressed partner,3.0
47632,onhae  i enjoyed doing them i love the jewelry on your sitei bet i could make a pretty necklace with one of those wired stones,0.0
47633,it can be so difficult to connect with people even with family and friends that i have known for years i pushed myself to spend time with several different friends this weekend but found myself struggling to find anything to talk about and keep coversations going im glad i got myself to go out and spend time with a few friends but it was hard for me to feel like i can really relate and talk with them a lot like i used to when i was younger im  nowi feel like my depression has created a barrier between me and people in general i find it difficult to hold conversations for extended periods now i know a few people miss talking to and seeing me more they tell me this on occasion however im tired a lot in my offtime and dont feel enough emotionalsocial energy to go see or call them i keep thinking about writing an apology to them for not being around more but im afraid i will sound awkward and am unsure how to word ittldr its hard for me to conversate and connect with people even friends ive known for years im thinking about writing an apology to people i have pushed away,3.0
47634,rt desirehayag if my homies is sad im sad too,2.0
47635, hell yeah ,0.0
47636,rt  my titties havent been sucked for a while that they now have depression,1.0
47637,im going to miss art class ,2.0
47638,getting ready for workfeeling not so good ,2.0
47639,time is going by sooooo slow nothing to do ,2.0
47640, sure why not ,0.0
47641,its really depressing when someone u love died tbh i feel so sad these days and now im mourning condolence to t ,1.0
47642,lives with crazymaezy now  we have a house together ugh i miss texas,0.0
47643, week to gomy class strts ,0.0
47644,god bless the red wings  ,0.0
47645,running with depression is hard my depression comes in waves and when its in the worse parts of the cycle my favourite exercise running becomes so hard does anyone else experience this i makes me feel so worthless not that im a marathon runner to begin with that i cant do something so simple and enjoyable and makes me feel like a failure,3.0
47646,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
47647,girls night at the apt ,0.0
47648,my  ma is  today ,0.0
47649,potentially just od on desserts thank goodness for green tea ,0.0
47650,tommcfly good thing really cause youre never getting rid of us  please dont leave us,0.0
47651, i hate shotsim scared xp thanks louise,2.0
47652,oh my where is the beautiful sun  ,2.0
47653,if you live in the area im giving a free pepperoni pizza amp a dozen of free chicken wing dings to our  th follower ,0.0
47654,is looking foward  c britney  xx,0.0
47655,freestyler  bomfunk mcs   music video    thx zuiopo,0.0
47656,rt pontiacmadeddg everything happens for a reason manifest that and ya stress will be relieved,0.0
47657,donniewahlberg oh wait you r doing a solo danny is recording one and joe is writing one where does that leave nkotb ,2.0
47658,i was accepted into my dream college ive also started therapy this year and although its still not great by any means have started to socialize a little bit i still struggle a lot with my self esteem and overall feeling of emptiness but there are some good moments life can be really rough and we are all so strong for fighting through the miserable days weeks months or years i hope you have an incredible day,3.0
47659,i should probably start moving my lazy ass xd bye bye ,0.0
47660,i have two months left this is it i finally lost it the person i love doesnt love me and everything is falling to pieces like two years ago when i lost the love of my life and i couldnt even kill myself properly i even failed at dying today ive had enough im giving myself two months to finish what i need to finish and to see if anything changes which wont happen because no matter what i do no matter what i try im not good enough if in two months everything is the same then thats itim self harming again today thats the sign of a lost battle im in pain i dont want this i already tried to leave this hell of a planet i wish there was a way to go back in time and avoid my birth at least i wouldnt have to put everyone through my traumatic death but ive had enough of living in pain so other people dont suffer i dont want to suffer anymore i want it to end,3.0
47661,i thought she would appreciate the spam ,0.0
47662,is it better to stay silent recently whatever i do to help anyone or even myself sometimes i always end up doing something wrong particularly when im giving advice for something or giving words of encouragement i always tend to fuck something up its been getting to me really badly recently and i feel terrible giving advice others think is bad or cant appreciate how do i find the balance between silence and encouragement,3.0
47663,note previous tweet wasnt about name dropping but acknowledging some amazing people who flew in to serve legends ,0.0
47664,magnetoboldtoo kk damn i wish i was there so i could help ,2.0
47665,just found out he didnt get the job at the waldorf hotel  oh and that his work is doing all sorts of illegal things,2.0
47666,sliimgoodiie yeahh im tryin  but its annoying when they be talkin shit loud enough for u to hear so messed up,2.0
47667,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
47668,bastardsheep i shall indeed  thanks,0.0
47669,just got back  httpplurkcompxlxbc,0.0
47670,im missing my aunt and cousin ,2.0
47671,this feeling of emptiness is destroying me hi there guysim going through of painfull stage of my life right now and its taking a lot of energy from me it doesnt have anything related to this  thing also i live in a country where we are not forced to stay home its just that i really feel empty when thinkin about it my whole life feels like an non stop stream of mistake and being  years old with almost every hope of improving my life now behind me i had a friend to talk to but it seems she had enough of listening to my non stop ranting about everything and i took the first step and cut her from my life now i regret that but i cant turn things around i just finished paying video games for  days  but i cant help but think its a way for me to stay in a virtual world where i can escape the harsh reality everytime i drop my controller i dont have anyone to talk to because i live under a mask and constant stream of lies but when im alone i cant hide to myself the ugly truth i guess i could keep telling lies to others  and wear that maks but man i dont nw what to do to help me felling a little less empty inside because going on for the next  to  years seems to a really sad perpective so i dont know maybe you feel the same or you just want to talk this could really help soothing this night ,3.0
47672, not for meee ,0.0
47673, showing signs of depression intending to seek professional help should i involve the family hi everyone ive been observing this concern for the past few months and i am thinking of seeking help for my dear partneri met her on tinder a year ago and we hit it off good quite rocky at first as she has the quips of escapism in her ive managed to let her understand that running away is not always a solution whenever she struggles and stresses she would try to break up with me as a knee jerk reactionthese past few weeks have been specially hard for her with work and she has mentioned multiple times that she wants to give up and end it all tried to go to a random lift which i assume she intends to jump from she sees no point in learning or understanding anything since everyone will pass at some point anyway i have been giving her all the emotional support she needs although i am her only support network i have reached out to the sister and no response yetthe good thing about this is i still have her ear and her trust thus my intention to seek professional help however the father does not approve of me have a particularly averse stance against my nationality but the other family members doi love her dearly how should i go about thisxpost from rdepressionhelp,3.0
47674,revolutionn not yet i will soon ,0.0
47675,having trouble setting up my new time capsule guess ill call apple care in the morning ,2.0
47676,runnersrambles posted a words only report on mine ha ha wwwchicrunnerblogspotcom ,0.0
47677,partying it up tonight at j lounge in downtown la its a nice sunny day in cali ,0.0
47678,ericchambers i will you have a great day ,0.0
47679,i think this might finally be my year shits been rough for a long long time but  was better for me in a lot of ways i think  might finally be the year i get out of this hole and start enjoying lifeheres to hoping at least,3.0
47680,auntiegail says today i am picking up the hivis vests for the kids they say auntie gails childminding service  xxx,0.0
47681,i love italy ,0.0
47682,my story with depression hi my name is shy and i have depression depression runs in my family so i always expected to get it however dealing with it is hard and its difficult to hear people say things like im so depressed when theyre just sad depression is more than just sadness for me its the lack of drive to do anything always feeling sad always wondering why you even existmy story starts in  grade i was always a different child i never exactly leaned towards feminine clothing and more towards gender neutral items it was in  grade that i realized i was transgender i would cry every night over the body i could not have i was upset knowing that my parents would not accept me one day i decided to tell someone who i thought was my friend she said but once you do that you cant go back plus its like a girl marrying a girl this statement hurt me so much and i was so confused i eventually brushed it off as a phase and started living as a girl againfast forward to the summer before  grade i had been reading a book when it brought up self harm i had never heard of cutting before nor understood why anyone would do that  grade started and it was a mess within  days of the start of the school year my depression hit a max i started cutting not with a blade but with my fingernails it left a lot of scars and my arm hurt a lot i had met another trans boy whom i thought was a girl at the time he became my significant other helping me through my depression and gender dysphoria however this did not last i broke up with him because i had gotten to the point in my depression where i became suicidal i nearly acted on my thoughts trying to choke myself with a pencil to no avail i would cry every night with big heaving sobs not understanding why i was the one cursed with depression i knew i was depressed how could i not be so i decided to see my school therapist i told her about my suicidal thoughts and she called my dad into her office he seemed calm in the office but when we left he hurt me with words he said why did you skip a class i had skipped my orchestra class not i didnt know you were feeling that way or what can i do to help i hated my father for saying that to me that was the reason i didnt tell themi guess they cared about me enough to send me to therapy though i was going to therapy once every  weeks and things got better for a while that summer i didnt go to therapy at all i usually go to my grandparents house in the summer when i started  grade depression hit me like a wall again i asked my dad if i could go back to therapy because i was again feeling suicidal he told me i shouldnt go and let other people who really need it a chance to go lot of help that did methrough out the  grade year i started hallucinating i cant tell if it was a strange coping mechanism or what i started to be delusional i was terrified of pine cones and i would hear things not audible to others my parents got a call from the school again i was starting to be violent i wanted to hurt others and i went back to therapy i had even been using inhalants heavily to try to help i got addicted to drugs on top of everything i was very apathetic feeling nothing at all not sadness or anger or anything just emptyat the end of  grade i tried suicide  more times none of which worked the noose kept untying i wasnt even feeling things when i was suicidal i just wanted to die i would sit in my room for hours crying my eyes out the summer wasnt much better my addiction got horrible and i was very close to overdosing once somehow in october of  grade it all just stopped no depression no hallucinations no suicide i was stable i wasnt cutting my drug use stopped and i was happy until recently my depression got bad after christmas i was feeling depressed suicidal and i started cutting again i dont know whythats my story with depression thanks for reading if you even care,3.0
47683,a lady just gave me a quotrecipequot for a diy facial  all the directions were in chinese  ,2.0
47684,tweet tweet now watching ghostbusters  ,0.0
47685,going to bed hopefully this flu will be gone in the morning ,2.0
47686,indecisiveness is indecisiveness about your future part of being depressed i see people talking about having no ambitions but i have too many ambitions but lack the confidence or motivation to do anything about it i have never been diagnosed or anything just needed to vent sorry for the rambling,3.0
47687,woutervugt i hope real quick quotbingingquot sounds cool ,0.0
47688,weeeekend  and a very long because we have another holiday monday,0.0
47689, i became a member of twitter because of you and your never freakin on i guess having a real job implies work tweet with me ,2.0
47690,rt thesteverizzo maybe if i fall in love with my anxiety it will leave me too,1.0
47691, franklero saw your tweet about mychem fans abusing non mychem fans by playing quothelenaquot hope you like it ,0.0
47692,fuck almost got introuble today again i seem to get in trouble a lot im so rebel ,0.0
47693,watching videos of faith no more at download including pokerfacechinese arithmetic i cant believe i wasnt there to see them ,2.0
47694,rambleredhead we see  you cause there is no more idol ,0.0
47695,they literally never are,2.0
47696,broodingsoul i had a great weekend thanks for asking  did you finally get all settled in,0.0
47697,invincible   i knew it was coming but stillfor a second there i thought it was all a red herring for an even crazier death,2.0
47698,it feels like im not free to  i strongly suspect that i have depression although i havent been diagnosed because im scared to tell anybody i tried to tell one of my parents who did the right thing and took me to a therapist that therapist just told me it was temporary sadness and that theres nothing to worry about itll go away soon etc despite me explicitly stating it had been like this for months keep in mind this was probably  years ago and i still dont feel any better if anything im only getting worse ever since then ive been scared to tell people because they might just toss me away it feels like im not free to talk about the serious problems in my lifewhile im at school i usually dont feel depressed because i have a really good friend not many though only one im able to joke around and laugh but i cant remember being truly happy it feels like im not free to feel normal emotionswhen at home i have video games and youtube to distract myself which i know is unhealthy i get little excersize outside of school but i find that it helps me but i need constant distractions i cant ever just take time to think because i usually end up breaking down it feels like im not free to think like a normal human beingmy grades have been slipping from as to bs im an honor roll kid im able to learn new concepts quicker than most others ive been tested im in the advanced classes but because of this everybody expects more of me and expect me to do everything without mistakes it feels like im not free to think like a normal human beingi also have anxiety this time it is diagnosed and am constantly worried about every little thing is there a stranger in my home whats that figure in the darkness what is it what is it what is it it feels like im not free to think like a normal human beingim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallywhat was that noisewhy cant i feel true emotionwhy does everybody expect me to do more than i canwhats the pointwhy live like this is how i feel is the rational part of my brainwill ending it all put a stop to thisno what about my friendbut i want to stop this painhow would my friend deal with ithe probably wouldnt care anywaythats nonsensei know please helphelloi want freedom but i cant have itim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyim not free to think normallyplease help me,3.0
47699, its so sad ,2.0
47700,problem with girl i have problems with my girl i need help with that i dont even know what i have done wrong i would love if any of you guys can help me in any wayi need help,3.0
47701,how do i cope  hey people of reddit just wanna ask how you cope with pent up emotions when you dont know how to express themive been  feeling sad angry happy and everything in between so fast and i dont know how i should handle thiswhen im happy i feel like im about to make a stupid decision because im too focused with the joyous emotion i forget all rational thought then that just makes me sad and insecure and feel stupid so i end up being angry about things i think i cannot change things way out of my controli usually want to scream or punch something but i never do it so i just end up frustrating myself even more im sorry for the lengthy post but i do hope to hear from some of you,3.0
47702,my depression feels depression isnt just a feeling it can also be lack of feelings you feel no joy no motivation no desire no appetite no determination to just get out of bedyou just lay and stare at the cilingwondering when this lack of feeling will finally decide to leave youyou should probably shower but then youll have to find new clothes brush your hair find socks find a clean towel move and actually go through the motions of standing and washingand maybe ill take a bath insteadi say in my head that i know once i get in there ill be stuck like i was in my bedthe world is moving by and i stay here quiet and then easy hanging with the dreadful thought of withering away instead of feeling stuckin full motion i rather feel sad than feeling nothing the place is a mess and i push it out of my brain and go back to layingmaybe this time on the flooryou came to my doori pretend to be awaystop asking if im okay you wouldnt understand it anywaygive me back my feelingsi begged myself to think of something that makes me happywhen youre here it feels like youll never get out and you dont even have the energy to cry or shoutyou just lay and count the seconds until the rain of joy gets you out of this drought,3.0
47703,rt porkironandwine me  sees a villain meme must they be this hot this is unreasonable villain gets a sad backstoryme https,1.0
47704,dvbl   would love toanytime  i cover  everything from ultimate fighter to baldwin hills  ,0.0
47705,ahh jbs cd is out today ,0.0
47706,just woken up and not looking forward to today whatsoever ,2.0
47707,  cant wait to see juuu,0.0
47708,kelsieeeee    but my phones not working idk why  so i couldn texxt you bacck  ,2.0
47709,this gave nausea this gave me anxiety ,2.0
47710,good morning headed to gillette stadium for  prep ,0.0
47711,i lovelovelovelove it when the shitty computers on my school crash now instead of goin to school till  im free already ,0.0
47712,coming off lithium my psychiatrist and i decided that its time i stop taking lithium which i have been taking at the dose of  per day for  years so far ive gone off abilify pretty successfully had some bad reaction to withdrawal for a month though and its been six days ive been off lithium  i am feeling a bit irritable and maybe down but my energy has improved and i feel less disorganized has anybody successfully stopped taking lithium what was your experience like how long was the adjustment do this irritability and a bit of anxiety eventually go away as they did with abilify ,3.0
47713,dontforgetchaos dont want to join would love to see you on stage tho ,0.0
47714,all my mains scribbled user is my depression acc ,2.0
47715,just getting home im so tired ,2.0
47716,jyst had a very unenriching ride to work ,2.0
47717,lalamelody you are very welcome sorry cant find pony leprechaun or unicorn ,2.0
47718,rt thickeyforrest lil peep dies from a drug overdose social media well if he didnt want to die he shouldnt of done drugs demi l,0.0
47719,coping mechanisms  help helloi have smoked weed as a way to distract myself from belts of depression for a long timeas im trying to move away from weed ive found watching funny stuff on youtube to be able to flip my mood as wellis this inherently just as badsomething small can flick a switch and send me psychologically reeling i feel like there is an issue i need to deal with to stop this but i dont know what it is help please,3.0
47720,ohits a thunderstorm  ,2.0
47721,msayson ill have to work a little harder then ,0.0
47722,me neither ,2.0
47723,suprie  not always though  once or twice ,0.0
47724,pink was awesome as live ,0.0
47725,lindascrush yes maam and fffreeezing i might add ,0.0
47726,rained out   ehh crappy weather in jersey i should have known,2.0
47727,i have a really sick ferret im so scared ,2.0
47728,rip paul kevin fish  you were my best friend,2.0
47729,i thought everyone hated me until ive managed depression and anxiety for over  years now its crippled me at times but i try persevere and bite the bullet my  year relationship broke down a few months ago and through that ive lost a lot of friends with that they say theres no love lost but most of them havent made an effort to see me since and its laughable and crippling at the same timeanyway i do have a few close friends outside that i constantly feel as if im not wanted but today a friend of a friend messaged me asking if i wanted a free ticket to a pretty big concert on tuesday it was surreal but we had vibed over music tastes and football at a few gatherings and i really liked him but fk me a free ticket to our favourite bandgoes to show anxiety is irrational crippling and sad if you present yourself in a positive light people will want to spend time with you one door closes and another one opens finally ready to try head out comfortable in my own skin theres ups and downs in life and we all have this beast on our backs its sent me into episodes drug abuse blocked opportunities etc but today i learnt my worth we are all worthy of friendship love fun and happiness its what we must strive for these things with everything we do,3.0
47730,mileycyrus   lol im with u i love starbucks ,0.0
47731,weezzyyy stay creepy ,0.0
47732,zippitydlicious i know your pain there isnt much you can do to people in the apartment above ,2.0
47733,jonathan ross sent me a msg  i think nz are taking it soon as well and bbc america so hard to avoid im afraid  his show is coming here,0.0
47734,watching monsters vs aliens with  glasses on  word,0.0
47735,i should really update this here we go summer is the worst time of the year might have found a flat for next year though  yasssssss,0.0
47736,game number seven can go either way ,0.0
47737,im finally going to sleep  update number  yay  i feel like an official tweeter  woohoo party in my bed im going to sleep,0.0
47738, would be nice  have a great day ,0.0
47739,still sick  wish i can be better already,2.0
47740,fuck i punched my wall to hard now my knuckles are bleeding and my wall is broken,3.0
47741,when was the last time you felt true inner peace its almost a year ago but it feels like yesterday sitting on my couch drinking an ale and watching death grip on netflix my girlfriend at the time came out of our bedroom dressed in her pyjamas the most beautiful girl on this planet she cuddles up to me we talk about the future the past and the present we plan a trip to paris a city she wanted to see for so long in that moment im completely at peace no stress no anxiety only a feeling that everything will be okay hours later i learn that she cheated on me i was never anything else than a second option the closest i get to that today is hashish and wine but it just numbness and not peaceoh what id give to be at peace one more time,3.0
47742,notoriousnews are you serious is paypal helping you out refunding you of your money ,2.0
47743, yup i sure did thank you ,0.0
47744,scared to fall asleep ,2.0
47745,literally given up this just stupid little metal game that happens every time i get a crush on someone and i like them for about  months i then ask them out obviously its a nol why would it not be then today happened i thought it had all changed i asked a guy out and he said yeah only to say no  minutes later i cant cope with this anymore theres just no point to this stupid fucking life anymore,3.0
47746,does anyone find writing in a book journal helpful in trying to manage your symptoms of depression since last week when i had to have an emergency mental health assessment as was placed under the home treatment team i have been taking some time to write in a notebook how i feel journal style just getting the feelings and thoughts out on a page can help take away some of my negative emotions and feel like i have displaced the thoughts does anyone else use this method or any other techniques to cope with their depression as well as medication,3.0
47747,every minute with you i feel i can to anything ,0.0
47748,deltagoodrem oh wow fairy lights sound really romantic ,0.0
47749,i hate english homework ,2.0
47750,davidarchie haha well its been on there for a long time now ,0.0
47751,first simon now djokovic  nooo,2.0
47752,with fabulouscrys watching hangover n found the bestie in the movie theatre ,0.0
47753,vinnysampaio ill add you when i back to home ,0.0
47754,havent worked in  years starting a new job in  weeks and already losing my grip since the age of  ive worked  different jobs all of them were with food or retail and i found that after  months id have to quit and return to a very low income i discovered along the way that i have bipolar  and anxiety though that wasnt a surprise after a while i just dread getting up and interacting with people i know im not really vibing with all too well the routine of it does something to my brain that causes me space off during my free time and truly dread returning to work to the point the depression reaches extreme levelsill be talking to a psychologist next week that has lined up a meeting with a group that helps people in my position find a job and while that is very reassuring i still have this horrible pang in my stomach im the type of person that puts in  hours a week when im passionate about something but if im not interested then the routine rears its ugly head and i find myself feeling totally unmotivated to do much of anything its a serious issue for me that id like to beative done the exposure thing my anxiety is quite manageable outside of work and i can even talk to strangers without feeling uncomfortable so im quite sure its the routine interacting with customers and working alongside people im not vibing withim  and i need to get my priorities straight but i really dont want to lose myself again as the last time i did it lasted for a few years before i was able to feel me again and that was really scaryany tips or advice would go a long way im going to try to inquire about a desk job like archiving or inputting information on a computer as i know such a job would keep me distracted and allow me to feel in my own zone as all my previous jobs involved interacting with people for the entire  hours,3.0
47755,feeling empty i have experienced depression before but was doing okay until recently in the last few weeks i have felt that darkness creeping back in i dont feel sad or angry i feel indifferent im sure this has been said a million times but i feel like if i disappeared tomorrow it wouldnt really matter ,3.0
47756,bigbluewolf fair point i think the fact ive got til xmas to upgrade gives me a chance to save a few ££ til then ,0.0
47757,im tired now so im going to bedgoodnight   ,0.0
47758,i am tired and really depressed hey guys it just feels like my life is an absolute mess right now i am a university student and i just feel like i really cant handle the stress anymore i have tried everything from trying to go to the gym meditating and even journaling but my situation has not improved i have contemplated suicide but i know it is not the way i just hope there is a way too make this all go away,3.0
47759,anyway this was my one  allotted sad tweet of the day since im trying to not wallow so much anymore so anyway thanks yes i did cry today,1.0
47760,thank you for being a friend traveled down the road and back again your heart is true youre a pal and a confidant ,0.0
47761,gooddayweekend so the shows not starting at  am ,2.0
47762,stonecypher gracias we added your link to ours as well ,0.0
47763,phantastiqcypha thanks  the luv fams gotta hit you all with some flyers for our next gigs shoop me an email and ill send you info ,0.0
47764,dude same i was just thinking about that ☹️,0.0
47765,suzieqjenny wow if i had known you were still there id have met you there to eat with you  sorry drive carefully,2.0
47766,husbos sick  deg fever   way to end vacation,2.0
47767,  looks like no working out ,2.0
47768,im alone and have no friends at all i cant understand the pattern of my lifei cant understand people since childhood i didnt have nice friends or if i had i had a close one who betrayed me some or the other way i was smart and intelligent in my childhood days before pubertyafter that nothing has gone well just my confidence has fallen repeatedly and all ive got is betrayal from friends and family i think my family expects a lot from me and seeing i cant do it they are upset cause actually i ruined my life  i didnt got college after school and i took a drop for a year of preparation and hadnt prepared anything in just one month  days i have my competitive exam can anyone be my friend for just sake of being friend and nothing else,3.0
47769,thingsmummysaid quotyou wouldnt have chest pain if you dont smoke cigarettesquot ,0.0
47770,rt dearyoufromwe i want less less of it all more of you more of what you showed me you could be less static less confusion more lov,2.0
47771,katahay  whoa youre following me sweet love you on youtube youre like a celebrity to me haha well bye   ,0.0
47772,so just as everyone else we hide behind our masks depression is the baggage i cant seem to leave behind no matter how hard i try,1.0
47773,i wish the twins realized how much theyve done for some of us they brought us out of such a dark depression and br ,1.0
47774,thought id be able to go out tonight i have no one to talk to really i was gonna go out with my sister tonight to san francisco i was on the train with her and her boyfriend to go meet up with her friends about  stops in my depression hit me so fucking hard and i couldnt hold back tears i got off at palo alto and just fucking lost it i couldnt stop crying waiting for my train back now  more minutes ,3.0
47775,johnnyexp not where i live ,2.0
47776,i think i have a celeb crush on joseph gordonlevitt oh and stuck in traffic to lynn canyon   ,2.0
47777,   how did that flex program go by the way ,0.0
47778, to last dance class ,2.0
47779,jeremyredmore got my ticket for wrap party  bringing some buddies with me  hows sydney treating ya,0.0
47780,chillin with aaaaaaaaariel  leaves tomorrow  gonna need a hug,2.0
47781,oh and this httptinyurlcomlryzlk makes me soo sad  im gonna miss ian being in the cab ,2.0
47782, haha thanks i think i might buy it ,0.0
47783,being miserable i need to find time to go to the dr ,2.0
47784,going bowling so excited ,0.0
47785,i think im going back to the psych ward i havent been to the psych ward in a while and it scares me its no easy feet i wish i could say that im doing fine and im not sad but i cant lie  im lonely now i dont know whether im really alone or my depression has a louder voice so i cant hear the others i feel there are two halves of my mind the depression side and the somewhat normal side i mom sorry to be gloomy on here but i dont feel anything else ,3.0
47786,jamesguanzon hm decent frozen facsimile at trader joes but under the name quottarte dalsacequot  real ones i dunno ,2.0
47787,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
47788,doesnt have to go to work tomorrow good times revision though ,2.0
47789,last day in fresno i need to survive the heat  didnt bring enough shorts ,2.0
47790,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,1.0
47791,kendall cant believe im missing   three straight years ive missed ,2.0
47792,mattfever with a bow on it  ,2.0
47793,dubbseeza omg i played that game at a friends house  its so addicting amp i want it too ,2.0
47794,about my love im was depressed af  i was met her now we have love for  months but when she said i can easy to breakup with you im sorry i know dat bad but hope try ur best to keep me im still love u then that was comeback shit im worrying about my mistakes and i cant stop thinking about how to hold this love more im love her and i dont want to lost her she is the onlyone who make me love this life some one help me i not good for loving some one what should i do,3.0
47795,out with parental unitsphone is dead atm ,2.0
47796,feel so bad for rob trying to run away from crazy fans and gets hit by a taxi ,2.0
47797,wisdomsoul beautiful and so symbolic ,0.0
47798,checkyesmegan follow me on tumblr minorityx ,0.0
47799,jothecat wowthat was the best thing ive read in a while and i dont even read italian ,0.0
47800,dannyishott i wish we could just come and get you geesh  maybe next time,2.0
47801,quitting venlafaxine  cold turkey on tuesday i am prepared for it lets do this lets get this controlling evil drug out my body,3.0
47802,idk if its impressive or just sad that i dont have to use an alarm to wake up at  for work,1.0
47803,twitter is over capacity lol why is that funny ,0.0
47804,rt rgay not being able to eat my feelings makes me so sad every single day,1.0
47805,working on final english project  but im excited for summer going to spain,2.0
47806,and l cant chuckles  cry lol,2.0
47807,oh god here i was thinking  was the highest amount a freakin  ,2.0
47808,rt shookyminyoongi goodmorning goodmorning famim sadcheer up famim so tired take a rest fami need someone to talk tom,1.0
47809,getting ready for crawl for cancer ,0.0
47810,hmm priceless   those loving moments with your family when every body is screaming  and everyone is runnig around,0.0
47811,i hate trying to socialize with people im horrible at it i hate it i suck at it i dont know what to do i have a few friends luckily but only of them is in only in one class with me im lonely in like every period i know a few people but can only start small convos with them like oh did you finish the worksheet or i like your drawing for the work ive tried to be in different groups my school is majority asians so i tried to hang out with the asians at tables one of them told me no one there likes me there and or doesnt mind me there but most of em hate me but i guess its my fault because i tried to join them when we couldnt talk about anything in common their food culture work home everything is differentanother group that plays fortnite and lol and clash royale i cant do those things because i dont play the games or know how to  they watch sports i cant because i dont have cable or anything to watch it onthen i tried the goofy kids that are not like popular but a group amongst each other i cant relate to them because they have different classes and are already familiar with everyone except me and they play games i dont they also watch sports then i tried the cool kids and the stoners those kids dont particularly look at me funny and dont make fun of me or dislike me they actually dont mind me and i appreciate them for it they are kinda hyped with clothes and stuff but some other people arent rich in that group anyway its just they started talking extra about sports and girls and again i couldnt relate and not too many people talked to me then i just started hanging out at my math teachers class because that way i dont look lonely and i get help on getting work done then one day a group invited me to sit with them and study so i happily but nervously did i knew one kid from last year in the group so it made it easier now its the  of us im still lonely because only of them is in my classes but in one period only the one kid we will call him melvin he helped me a lot in talking to people i dont think he knows it but hes a cool kid of the class and funny so its easy to just follow him into groups to talkbut then these other kids started bullying me or just teasing me real hard im sure it made me look bad and like a let down now i hate everyone except melvin  and the other  great friendsi cant socialize for shit and i dont talk as much as its awkward and annoyingi find a person online to talk to and they help me with advice and let me talk to them so im ok for now shes a really nice person i met and i cant thank her enoughits just i can only talk to her online as she lives in another state,3.0
47812,im  and my life has been reduced to going to school sleeping and drinking i havent been happy in months last time i was happy was when i visited my home country which made me realize i wasnt happy in canada i dont really talk to anyone not even my family and during the summertime i usually go the whole  months without talking to another person i have been saving everything i got to visit my home country in the summer so i cant even spend anything here only goal in life i have is moving back until then i usually drink to try and forgetlessen any pain i may have,3.0
47813,gonna have to change out of my jammies  not fair haha going to see a scary film s jeans n hoodie hear i comexxx,2.0
47814, lol i aint that bad ,0.0
47815,its  to be exact and im bored i love danielle grace and chris ,0.0
47816,pinkpenguintoes fuck i grabbed the wrong charger when i left ill have to get it tomorrow  at least i have the blackberry as back up ,2.0
47817,jaelillianx hey jaebird you liking twitter dont worry you will become obsessed like the rest of us soon ,0.0
47818,damnredhead that and it makes me feel better  there i said it,0.0
47819,bpmore the usrbingrrl was never updated that oftenjust kind of random  shes prolly using stumblr now ,0.0
47820,karenmcdonald their two different games ive payed for all up to wotlk on my eu acc to play us i need to buy em all again ,2.0
47821,duirconcepts thats why the beef is always too tough atimes if it was fed on site on a mix of hay and grains  it ,2.0
47822,i got bullied younger ive always been extremely lonely since then and my mental state keep deteriorate and i cant socialize because it made me fear people i am a  yo french so my english might not be perfecti have been struggling with depression and severe anxiety since i was  i got bullied at school and i never got out of my home from  to  by fear of people in late  i tried to make my life feeling better i was hospitalised severall time to try to cure my depression i tried to go out and work on my shyness i tried school another time but i failed beacause there was so much people there and i was in constant anxiety i met people since  but most of the time ended up being forgotten i still have like  real friend i see them very rarely irl i could talk to atm but those people patient are friend from the hospital and i dont think that that would be a good idea even tho i already did it before so when i talk to them i act like nothing is wrong but i suffer  through the year the fact that i am extremely lonely made my mental state keep getting worse and worse and i feel like im loosing my mind i attempted suicide  times last year i cant take it anymore the feeling of not being loved by anyone of being an object for people nothing good happens in my life people are always shitting on me for no reason and i end up being the one that is sorry to keep them i am tired of thinking that it could get better one day right now i am so much in pain that i feel i cant do nothing that involve going out i feel like i am wasting the best time in a   yo i am stuck i ended up cutting myself today i want to die i have lost all interest in life and i feel atm my life is nothing but extreme mental pain and loneliness,3.0
47823,callyyyy no ,2.0
47824,you are at the top of the list cornokev you are my whole reason for even going  just  more days ,0.0
47825,im starving  i need to get changed because im in my pj shorts l and its freezing here,2.0
47826,courtneyreece   what happened it sounds to me like there needs to be a maragrita night tonight for the ladies,2.0
47827,just stood on a mini bottle of moisturiser it went evrywhere all over my cushion and all ,2.0
47828,lonely almost no friends always ignored its been like this for so long but its just starting to get to me now maybe because im no longer in school i hit people up but they never reply back i try meeting new people but they just leave me on read i dont know what to do im honestly tired of being lonely ive missed out on so much in my life because ive never been the talkative or attractive type i ve always wanted to have a girlfriend or to go on dates or hang out with groups of friendsi feel like i should give up i cant even make online friends at this point,3.0
47829,spiraling out of control theres been a lot of changes in my life occurring at the same time and i feel like i cant handle keeping up with some of the major ones everything feels like its spinning and i feel dizzy and my heart is racing just always now i tried drinking as much as possible for a week straight and but now ive quit i had to quit it was too muchim just a big fucking mess and i feel wired and sick and disgusting and depressed and i dont know what to do or how to handle anything,3.0
47830,invesnme congratulations randy on your college graduation  ive been thinking of you today amp am so happy   ,0.0
47831,watching evolution with nate he has never seen this  lol,0.0
47832,sightime to get up n get ready for agez bday barbqim cooking of courselolribsfried chickentwice baked potatosim tired though ,2.0
47833,male amp female relationship how successful has the system been at driving a wedge between male and female relationships to the point where we some of us are afraid to date and get into relationships and i am not talking about the inter dynamics of common malefemale relationships but rather the weponizing of the legal system news shows movies etc etc  being used against each other men and women are welcome to comment especially from parents who are responsible and want to play a part in their childrens lives but because of the legal system have been devastated economically emotionally and psychologically yes this is part of my depression and i know i am not the only one thank you in advance,3.0
47834,my comfort outfit   ,0.0
47835,sometimes i suffer from anxiety,2.0
47836,pedrocs aahh cuddy power truly is sexy ,0.0
47837, everythings so fucking chilled atm  loving life right this minute ooo dj am and trvs ayeeeeeeee i think sooo  fix your face  ftw,0.0
47838,we must pay respect to strength resolve of transforming posttraumatic stress to posttraumatic growth  rightcare,0.0
47839,mgiraudofficial yay matty ill be there in  minutes ,0.0
47840,mitzyg i meant  say sheep i dont know why i said poodle lmao the other one was sooo cute w hay in its mouth but was broken ,2.0
47841,ergh my shoulder hurts baaad ,2.0
47842,georgiephx yes of course  if anything i think of you as a stately beautiful courageous lioness ,0.0
47843,why are suicidal people punished by law enforcement idk this is just a random thought im having right now as i was reading a few peoples stories with suicide a lot of the time people get into trouble for refusing to go to the hospital in these situations and fighting to not have to go i know people shouldnt fight against the police or law i get that but its not normal for things to be so low that you want to harm yourself or end your life people who are trying to end their life are so low and gone that nothing really matters in these situations but being released of their pain if they are in so much pain and want to succeed in killing themself of course theyre going to want to fight against you when you are going to keep them from doing so im currently in the process of being in court for the second time my parents or medical care team have called police on me when ive attempted or theyve know im feeling horribly suicidal its just icky charging people and making them attend court appearances that are dragged out for so long and causing them to be very anxious at the possibility of the judge deciding a bad punishment for you that you cant get out ofdoesnt seem like its going to make that person not want to kill themself again why punish people who are suffering they didnt call the people someone who cares about them thats whats them alive did people who are suffering like this are most likely some of the nicest caring individuals that just cant see how great they are or feel so hopeless in their suffering they dont want to hurt the cops or anyone else they just want to stop hurting themselves okay little rant over thank you,3.0
47844,dominoaware sounds like a great event i cant make it    projectaware,2.0
47845,are there any other young adults here uncertain about their future ive been worrying for the past hour about my future i dont want to end up poor or a bum who still lives with his parents  or so years from now but it just seems so impossible to do the things i want to do all i can see are people around me succeeding whereas i have nothing to show for my friend is getting scholarship offers from every single college he applies to i used to have big dreams and hopes for the future and i was well on track to doing so until my life got fucked in   literally had perfect grades and was playing sports and finally losing weight and now  years later im out of shape and worrying about my futureall i want is to have money to buy the things i want and need and to have a girlfriend people say you need to go out there and do it if you want it to happen but its just so impossible to find the motivation and energy to do so,3.0
47846,jerrys car broke ,2.0
47847,staying in a hotel tonight ,0.0
47848,its all becoming very clear  granted it wasnt part of the plan but at least i know it will all work out ,0.0
47849,  rosiier i know it was so depressing  but yeah i love this show too ,2.0
47850,is eating home made anzac cookies in bed yum tasty treats just for me ,0.0
47851,rt girlposts when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
47852,jessicaveronica leaves for the airport at   noooooo,2.0
47853,and the crowning glory of the week is a sales meeting in southampton travel not involving planes ,0.0
47854,inscribed loop of the kirin tor baby ,0.0
47855,allstaralice haha thats probably true ,0.0
47856,cultvines i do too ,0.0
47857,anyone depressed in spite of good life circumstances a lot of people here are depressed for very good reasons i really dont have any im pretty happy with my life set up of course there are some things id change but on the whole its goodi just have this endogenous chemical depression thats as bad as being in physical pain ive been on so many meds in the past and they dont seem to work for me anymore i run distance every single day and eat wellnot asking for advice as such just interested to hear if any of you guys are depressed even though your lives are good on paper ,3.0
47858,cant get that picture out of my mind ,2.0
47859,where go why leave no more talkie ,2.0
47860,jbumbs i wish you could too   its not the same watchin em alone,2.0
47861,floppymonkey i think its just me thats being watched ,2.0
47862,is back from new york but wants to go back so badly ,2.0
47863,is sad that susan boyle lost her sanity amp its all our fault ,2.0
47864,lillij  wipoolplayer traveleverywher   with warm gratitude  thank you for your kind  friendship fellow twitterers cheers  ,0.0
47865,ddlovato people change and prmises are broken jonas brothers ,0.0
47866,hey my beautiful tweeps im off to sleepy land to dream of my rob jealous much hehehe have fun tweeting mwah xoxox ,0.0
47867, its supposed to storm so i doubt we will walk this morning ,2.0
47868,yarncoture i know  but the wedding was pretty so its all good ,2.0
47869,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay httpstcoyvrlyaumlk,1.0
47870,hoptonhousebnb prob not probe dont mind what u do with your milk bottles ,0.0
47871,waiting for dinner mmm the roast smells nice ,0.0
47872,joaniesc i suggested we buy something used for me or her save money but i think fred is tired of working on cars many weekends ,0.0
47873,god its waaaaay to early ,2.0
47874,after a big party and some hours of sleep tino martin and myself are on the way to home and prepare for the nexr partys tonight ,0.0
47875,so this is where my social anxiety comes from eh,2.0
47876,has no friends boyfriend nope all too busy ,2.0
47877,beartwinsmom oh yes that stateside lol   in new york for a couple more daysbefore going back to the daily grind at the computer,0.0
47878,eastwoody glad to be walking into work today  crazy traffic ,0.0
47879,how do you live with depression as someone who is constantly struggling with depression im not really sure what to do and i would love to hear stories on how you continue to live,3.0
47880,gortonmp worldwearyguy georgegalloway evasoumble understand you now using mental health as pure opportunism to ,0.0
47881,rt troubledpoc i met haqiem rusli at starbucks earlier 😅 i asked him why did he faked his depression  then he threw his iced americano a,2.0
47882,rt jamesjaaay me listening to sad indie music ,2.0
47883,oh my god peeanofreek hawillisdc ,2.0
47884,glenn you rock ,0.0
47885,my first tweet ,0.0
47886,battle of the bands was amazing at applebees ,0.0
47887,im confused about how im feeling please shed some light every day whenever i have to got to class research or work i think about how nice it would be if i got into an accident i wish that i would get into some kind of accident so that i can either be too injured to do anything or dead so i dont have to do anything at all am i just being lazy or is this something more ive never been diagnosed with depression and from what i heard from my friends with depression i dont think i have it either but i do think a lot about dying and i honestly prefer to stay in bed for hours instead of doing anything else when i was in third grade in a game of truth or dare i answered the question whats my darkest secret with i wish i was dead since then ive thought about harming myself or giving up on my commitments but i couldnt i want to know how common the feelings ive  been having are before it becomes something out of my control im a college student my grades are pretty good i have a healthy relationship i know my friends and family care about me i go to every shift at work i am active in my research although im not as fortunate as other people i live a very good life on paper i could do anything i wanted but i dont i get too nervous and i limit myself so other than my nervousness why do i automatically think about dying as soon as i get stressed or upset is this just a defense mechanism to stressi guess what im afraid of the most is disappointing the people around me i want to be better i want to change my habits if i was a bit more motivated i could be just as great and accomplished as my classmates i just cant  bring myself to do anything and somehow on most days i convince myself that laying in bed is a bit better than following through with my commitments its hard to talk about how i feel because i dont want to burden anyone especially because most of the people i know are truly struggling while most days i am perfectly fine im very sorry to offend anyone with my post and the fact that it jumps around a lot i just had a feeling that of all the places i could vent rdepression would be the most supportive  i just would like some advice how can i improve my daily life how can i stop myself from thinking about dying,3.0
47888,rt pettyblackboy me and my homegirls taking a break from our depression to turn up at local functions this summer httpstcobhtbienixw,2.0
47889,im off to tunisia see you all in a few weeks ,0.0
47890,doing hairdressing homework ahh gay but gotta be dont i miss dylan ,2.0
47891,phone turned on but isnt getting service and isnt responding i hope i can at least save my contacts  no phone for me,2.0
47892,today my friend said i looked happy today my friend told me i always look happy i think life and things positively and i overall looked happy every time i never understood what people meant by dont judge by how they are outside because you never know when people are battling something inside but now i know honestly i was happy when she said it because i thought wow people think im happy and that made me happy because it meant that people envy my happiness and im doing well to hide my inner emotions but in reality i feel really depressed it is a huge struggle for me to get out of bed and nothing sparks joy in my life i have great friends family and a boyfriend but i feel like i am not able to pour out my feelings to anyone i know they want to be there for me especially my family but it just never comes out i never know what i want in my life and what i enjoy doing i feel like time is passing by and i feel lost i previously had really bad anxiety with having panic attacks pretty much everyday and having to take pills now that my symptoms are subtle and could love my life my brain just shut down from any emotions that i dont feel any emotions and when something bad happens it hits me hard all these sleepless nights seem to continue and even thinking of my life makes me sad i feel like im not in this world really and i dont exist i feel lifeless,3.0
47893,kionee whats really cool is that i can write it off on my taxes cause its a quotwork expensivequot gotta love that ,0.0
47894,i have to do a b n e ,0.0
47895,im out of reasons to live im not gonna lie i feel like shit ive been dealing with depression for over  years and its just getting worse quick note i have autism too so im not able to get many friends and keep them at the same time which is also the reason i got depression in the first place i tried to be the me they wanted me to be but im not and ill never be and they left im just lonely all of the time i want to talk to someone but ive opened up about this so mamy times and everyone kept leaving me so im afraid of trusting someone i feel so empty inside like a void i know is never gonna be filled again ive cut myself for  years and attempted suicide too i promised my family to not do it again but i dont even feel connected to them anymore the only thing keeping me here is my anxiety thats scared of whats going to happen when im not here anymore everyone says im an attention seeker but they dont understand so now im hoping that sharing my story with people that do understand it  a bit  will relieve me a bit for now,3.0
47896,i will blog tomorow i pinky swear promise goodnight you beautiful people ,0.0
47897,he knows what i want ,0.0
47898,this darkness is infinite if there is an exit ive sure as hell lost it i felt like i needed to write this sorry if its for nobody or just pointless ranting but this needs to go somewhere honestly anywhere will do but i hope you guys can at least relatewhen i first started slipping it was maybe a day or a few a week when i felt too helpless and alone to do anything then for the last  months or so its been about  moving to  bad to good daysthe bad days are like feeling so numb i genuinely question whether ive ever felt emotions before or whether i just thought what i was feeling was emotion and at the same time feeling like im in the middle of an emotional tornado so confused with everything flying around me i dont know what im feeling or anything but i know im just confused and overwhelmedfor the past few weeks ive got some motivation back so ive been doing some work as oi work for myself but ive been drinking or on drugs constantly to not feel like this but today i realised for the first time even if productivity wise ive been good i havent had a good day in weeks just bad im done i thought id kill myself months ago but it would always get broken up by some good now im just a ticking time bomb waiting for this to rot me to my core i feel like my clock is ticking now i guess ill see how long i lastalso the first post about this ive made on my main account because at this point this is the real me the old me is dead,3.0
47899,im super social but im still lonely kind of just want to talk right now ive been having a hard time recently  ive been putting my head into my work ready for the a relaunch the second week of march im working with a business coach the whole businessworking for my self thing has been going great its all ive ever wanted to do and im proud of myself i have a lot of friends that yeah i can talk to but i dont often feel like letting them down im the fun one the silly one the one thats optimistic and can see a door for literally anyone but for myself im really hard on myself i know personally that i need human interaction or i will get depressed and ive been really good at making friends with a lot of different people so i always have someone to hang out with but its getting tiring i think i might just be lonely i dont like this thing that i do where i go out get a little tipsy and flirt with guys might end up kissing one of them but they usually want sex and i dont so i just go home never talking again its a lot and its not fun im surrounded by a lot of people and im still lonely i think i might just be fully depressed i love my job but its not moving fast yet its still in  the build stage i feel like im just waiting a lot waiting to meet a guy who like me for more than a night waiting for my business to get off the ground waiting to spend time with people i care about should i just get therapy kind of just want to talk right now,3.0
47900,please help  dire situation  ,2.0
47901,rt vastpho im a sadsack chump,1.0
47902,freakin out cant find my fone   ,2.0
47903,wants to watch rachel zoe project and stylista  ,2.0
47904,things change so quickly things changed so quickly and im still trying to process what happened back in june i never imagined my life without you and now im here trying to figure out how to do things without you its hard breaking up with someone you were with for  years and those  years were from high school through college i grew up and became an adult with you i developed with you now i am without you and i dont know who i am i want you back in my life i want to hug and kiss you fuck at this point i just want to see you but i cant see or hang out with you because youve moved on you dont feel the same you dont love me the way you used to youve moved on to the guy who you fucking swore you didnt like and werent going to do anything with you may not have felt it in that moment but the feelings were present and they always were i fucking miss you life just doesnt feel worth it anymore,3.0
47905,nyramohamad qilly i havent done my socio data respond ,2.0
47906,rereading the stephenie meyer collection luving it all over again  my coworker got me into it againgtgtgt,0.0
47907,friends but not really friends does anyone else feel like heshe has friends but also not really have friends i dont know if it makes sense but ill try to give it some contextat my past schools and current school ive always had and have friends at school i talk with them i sometimes game with them but we never really hang out or do anything like that we never really about how were actually doing but just about the stuff thats going onnow i dont think im depressed i just posted this to vent i just went through some shit i wasnt expecting and didnt know that it would affect me this much but that is kind of irrelevant to this threadim just hoping theres more people like this or people that were like this that can give some advice  ,3.0
47908,nostalgia i never am sadder than when i think of my best friend at the time a long time ago who i drove away because i was becoming a drug addict and an alcoholic i got clean and tried to explain to her that i went to rehab but nothing has changed in years when my therapist asks me what i think about when i feel sad i loop back to her and just feel terrible how do we let stuff like this go,3.0
47909,it would be cheaper and simpler for me to die side account obviouslyim kinda tired of fighting ive been depressed for longer than i can remember and its been so much worse in the last month or so i had to move back home and i havent been able to find work which means no insurance which means no therapy i found a free group session once a week but i dont get to discuss my issues when you have  minutes with  people in the group bills are piling up and i just had to drop a few hundred bucks onto my credit card to get a broken tooth pulled    i just got dumped last month and im lonely but who wants a broke overweight headcase a friend in another state suggested i move out there because of job opportunity and her single friends even if i could afford to move across the country im the last thing her friends need oh and all my friends here are either married getting married or in a committed relationship im a burden on my friends on my family and ive never hated myself more ive thought about killing myself for months now but i dont do it because of what it would do to my family and friends but i cant say anything because theyre tired of hearing it if i died i just think that it might hurt them for a while but it would be a weight off everyones shoulders    the pulled tooth means i cant drink for a few days but they gave me tylenol  for the pain cant wait until i can quit thinking about this,3.0
47910,i totally just wrote a song like i wish i could share it with someone but everyones busy ,2.0
47911,chipotle rebranded they now have a pepper that doesnt look like poop ,0.0
47912,maths test tommowrow ,2.0
47913,asking dr for medication tomorrow and am very nervous i dont have regular doctor just our family gp but id rather keep this private so i am registering with a new clinic im feeling hesitant that since the doctor doesnt know me they will deny a prescription ive been depressed and anxious for most of my years to make this step now is a huge milestone in acceptance and having enough but im just pretty worried its not going to be straightforward am i supposed to tell the doctor my deepest anxieties or can i be rational and just tell her what i need,3.0
47914,im playing this game with my little brother  ,0.0
47915,kurapika deja de tener una historia sad hasta en un au de instituto por favor te lo pido sé feliz por una vez en tu ,1.0
47916,ಒಂದೇ ಕುಟುಂಬದ  ಜನ ಸಾವು ಇದು ಕೊಲೆಯೋ ಅಥವ ಅತ್ಮಹತ್ಯೆಯೋ ,2.0
47917,currently planning possibilities for pilgrimage back home to them thar hills of west virginia ,0.0
47918,dollarcoin pieces of equipment id be likely to use as well too bad im poor lol ,2.0
47919,man i had to take the gladiator snakeskins back was killing my feet in  mins flat a fashionista gotta be comfy but they were so cute ,2.0
47920,kayballard krnsidez you should believe  im the mysterion kid in south park,0.0
47921,jaylastarr thank you  thanks for sharing  keep the tweets coming  ,0.0
47922,heroine totes  legit way of saying totally  is my playlist name okay cos ill compile it nao,0.0
47923,i didt know what to write in this title ok some background i am twelve yes i have been suffering from depression and suicidal thouhts for long but in the past couple of months it has been increasing and ive got nobody to tell this to so i desided to tell reddit i tried to overdose on pills couple of weeks ago and it has been very hard for me i dont know if i will live to be an adult i dont konw whta to write anymore so thats  my state for now,3.0
47924,jonasaustralia hehehes  im watchingg masterchef right now likee you wanna know ,0.0
47925, my dress isnt posh its from promod  i dont want wet hair full stop itll go frizzy ,2.0
47926,if u ever feel like ur depression is getting the better of u just take n save ugly pictures of urself smiling ,1.0
47927,rt stripmallfire when is endless war expected to go insolvent i mean we always have trillions for that  its almost as if your expla,2.0
47928,its soooooooooooo cold ,2.0
47929,oo im getting the hang of playing bigcitydreams on guitar ,0.0
47930,cant feel while sober anyone have the problem where they drink and use to feel emotion rather than the majority drink and use to not feel i want to feel while sober things like sad tv shows and emotion in art bring these out while sober but i have to engage in something to feel any ideas on what i can do i used to just drink and use everyday now i dont even have the desire to do that anymore i just stay numb and sober im on valuim for my ptsd and anxiety which i wish i was not dependent on but if any of you have experience with being on benzos you know its almost not an option to come off of them especially in the state im in just looking for advice guidance thanks  ,3.0
47931,vaccuming  rms left but damn it got hot taking a break ,0.0
47932,theperezhilton halsey chrisbooker can you just shut the fuck up you have bipolaritytalking shit about celebs ,0.0
47933,mutdlegend i think so ,2.0
47934,had a great walklunch downtown with kevin minus getting pulled over now its time to clean the car ,2.0
47935,emotional abuse from my ex has destroyed ml hi guys im in such a terrible place right now that i dont even no where to start my  year relationship with my ex ended in october because she felt i had been mistreating her we remained friends but in a very toxic way the second we broke up she emotionally attached to someone from halfway across the worldwhen she attached to him she ignored me and berated me after two weeks the guy told her shes really unhealthy emotionally and put him on a pedestal too much then the cycle began whenever her emotional attachment to someone exploded in her face she came crawling back to me for companionship i allowed it because i missed her a lot even though i shouldnt havelong story short she has attached to three different people so far and a fourth is probably incoming this cycle of dropping me constantly has been emotionally abusive so i finally blocked her last nightbut im suffering badly without being able to talk to heri feel like complete shit like ive always been depressed but jesus christ i miss her so much im tempted to unblock her but she hurts me so muchi dont know what to do sorry for the wall of text ,3.0
47936,rt paulatics usscobblerguy nathanhrubin my husband needed brain surgery world class neurosurgeons removed a wedge of his skull used l,2.0
47937,i want to go into a coma i cant really explain why i suppose the idea of not actually dying is easier for me to accept so i dont harm my family im technically still alive but i cant do anything and it would be easier for my family to accept it but i cannot deal with life right now it feels like every moment is agonising and i just dont know why ,3.0
47938,alex pettyfers new movie tormented is out today watching it toniiight ,0.0
47939,update rm apparently had an accident at his home   httpbitlyhmulm,2.0
47940,definatalie i made it to the end  and now im kind of in love with you which made looking at your wedding photos heartbreaking,0.0
47941,zomgblog im going to have to be lame and cancel again  feeling really rough ,2.0
47942,jenleduc richmond is about  hours away  but thanks for thinking of me,2.0
47943,am i depressed i know other posts already exist with this query yet even still i doubt myselfto put context i am  and ive found myself increasingly less motivated in most of what i do and almost completely incapable to pick myself up to take a pencil to paper for the homework of my classes its building up even now while i despair yet no matter what im drawn to simply sitting around to waiting i dont know when specifically this began last year the year before i could technically even say the signs of noticeable lack of motivation harsh selfcritique and occasional days of inexplicable fatigue began somewhere around the end of middle school and id almost say it was the cause of my first c grade which for me was an absolute failure and evidence that im just lazy as it came from a lack of doing homework in english yet trying to say that makes me feel like its an unforgivable attempt of brushing the failure off with an excusealthough i have once admitted a desire for selfharm and only glanced upon the chances of depression with her we had assumed it to be from the use of acutane which is of course known to cause a variety of psychological issues however now its been over half a year since i quit the heavy acne medicine and im still carrying these potential symptoms if anything to a severely worse scalei do though still have my positive days in fact i have quite a few to add further i have an intense interest in writing that hasnt been dulled by any of this in fact its only grown if there is any class that i havent been falling behind in yet it would be my current american literature class simply for my love of reading and writing i guess if anything ive been using this as an excuse of see youre happy youre fine youre just making an excuse for procrastinatingthing is by now id have usually brought myself back up ive always noticed a trend with myself in dipping in performance in school only to recover and pass with as and bs long before i even hit an f right now though ive failed two classes lately and am probably due to fail another two if this continuesi really only ask this to confirm whether or not i should discuss with my parents on seeking treatment it just feels like such a drastic and wasteful thing to commit if it turns out im somehow using this as an excuse,3.0
47944,rt bjbwalter  foxnews hillaryclinton no lockherup  shell get plenty of mental health help in prison and s ,0.0
47945,advice for someone on an  monthlong break  i have finally decided to take a break from university in order to get treatment for depression which has gotten really bad i have never sought treatment before and i have never been on any kind of medication what advice would you have for me what should i do during this long break should i get some structure in my life ie part time job a hobby or two or should i just take it easy how should i prepare for the transition back to university,3.0
47946,whole foods barton springs yogurt spot amp the oasis  perfect day in austin ,0.0
47947,lauransmith me maybe ,0.0
47948,just going to sleep and never waking up it would be so much easierit doesnt hurt anymore im just tired exhausted every day i keep on living feels like a curse i want to finally rest foreverive already given up is that too much to ask for,3.0
47949, haha you cow morning lezzer ,0.0
47950,thinks chelseajadexo is going to be missed beyong belief ,2.0
47951, thats  early  my bus leaves at like  lol when do you get back,2.0
47952,working because i like it ,0.0
47953,fionabloom  i am great  how are you and how was israel btw ill be leaving barbados for canada later down in the year for school,2.0
47954,looknathstry freeyourmindkid a demonstration that we are the many not the few may be needed to drive social chan httpstcoequogayuwq,0.0
47955,takeing geometry exam shits weaak ,2.0
47956,bennyling decryption no reply ,2.0
47957,the history channel at two o clock as i flirt with the notion of a different summer trade interesting ,0.0
47958,i also had a dream that thequestcrew was in one of those golf cart things i was driving next to and it was everyone but ryan ,2.0
47959,no  day weekendhad to come in to work today  but i am getting a new hairdo this afternoon so thats a plus,2.0
47960,rt deepestmessages find someone who knows youre sad just by the change of tone in your voice and be with someone who loves the feature,1.0
47961,presented my horrible speech  tiedyed in chemistry though  overall not much homework yes,2.0
47962,tearsandrane i miss school  look at the bright side at least youre not bitter yet ,2.0
47963,im so sad man fuck today,2.0
47964,lbf productions will start freelancing shortly  lbf,0.0
47965,morieinsidler looks like i cant come to your show anymore  many apologies,2.0
47966,rt afactspost depression is the result of over thinking the mind creates problems that didnt even exist,1.0
47967,kacica that is not funny  im not an elephant btw nice circus httpbitlyvzwjg go visit it ,2.0
47968,sjrestaurant its portugese i think i had a sandwich from there once  it was rubbish just plain grilled chicken  limp iceberg ,2.0
47969,a better life i feel sad because it has always been my dream to live in japan it sounds cliche i knowi moved to tokyo when i was  and lived there for almost  years i started a family had kids everything but my marriage was not working out wages in japan were very low compared to my potential in the us im crushed by student loan debt and i was unhappy so i returned to the us with my kidsnow im a single mother in the us and im trying to start a new career in health care but i always feel sad that my dream never worked out im doing a bit better in the us now that im out of a bad relationship ive started to gain weight again because im not starving myself and im doing better financially however i still feel empty im sad that my childhood dream didnt work out i also feel that this is a bit selfish of me though idk why im even posting this haha just trying to get feelings out i suppose,3.0
47970,putting shrimp on the barbie and riding my kangaroo to work tomorwo ,0.0
47971,mscrissy nopei know ,2.0
47972,ekesse ummmmaybe thats a portrait of english yoot thats a wee bit unfair im just bitter im up so early i suspect ,0.0
47973,i think my laptop just died   ,2.0
47974, i heard nothing wasnt there illinois is too far ,2.0
47975,rt  im too solid to get fucked over sad,1.0
47976,i dont think anyone notices im not okay i havent gotten out of bed or eaten an entire two days ive had depression for about six years and sometimes i feel like everything is gonna be okay and im getting on track and then i just fall back into a black hole of just overwhelming sadness and hopelessnessim in therapy and i think the people in my life can tell im unhappy but no one sees the extent of the horrible emotions and lack thereof im feeling everyday i feel like no one cares enough to see it  even my family just thinks im sad but the emptiness i feel that comes with depression is so much stronger than just being sadi dont want to move i dont want to eat simple things you need to do to survive just take strength i dont feel like i have sleeping is the only peaceful passtime because i can live in my dreams rather than struggle in reality,3.0
47977,miss youuu ,2.0
47978,totally made the right decision last nt  well dun me   x,0.0
47979, alternative therapies for depression httpstcosrvofjyzgb  httpstcoqqurrdabid,1.0
47980,its friday the sun is shining and i have the day off life is good ,0.0
47981,ugh im bored ,2.0
47982,so not excited about being up this early not being at the beach and having to go back to work ,2.0
47983,rt   yes very sad,2.0
47984,when to admit myself ive been struggling with depression symptoms and self harm for my whole life and ive never recieved any diagnosis or treatment because my parents dont take it seriously until i have major depressive episode once in a while at which point they scramble to get me to see all kinda of doctors psychs etc and still nothing happens because of wait lists and they forget about it when i eventually turn back to normal until the cycle repeats itself im currently in the middle of the cycle yet again i got referred to a psychiatrist over a month ago and havent heard a word since i also aged out of the free youth counselling i was going to im self harming and suicidal is it wrong to admit myself to a psych ward so i can finally make some progress in this vicious circle,3.0
47985,artgeek youre the second person on my twitter list to get fired ,2.0
47986,i cant stay awake much longermust sleepnow if only i hadnt seen the spider on the ceiling while working out ,2.0
47987,this tweet app is not working right ,2.0
47988,jonas brothers youtube account suspended ,2.0
47989,igortizz nothing muchim thinking bout u  so what r u doing,0.0
47990,lucasrotter yeah send me info if you dont mind  were doing a tweetup monday httpisgdpsum,0.0
47991,sometimes i get mesmerized watching my tach and speedo rise in unison ,0.0
47992, yes its very very sad that he left the show oh he will ,0.0
47993,fuck it you make it too easy was feeling guilty about wanting to fully change my name despite not getting married or for abuse reasons but my dad is so insensitive and clueless as to my lazing around i have no more fucks to give,3.0
47994,sweetemmaxxx im gonna be patriotic and root for murray   really dont like nadal the dude annoys me,0.0
47995,waiting for the new moon trailer  hour ,0.0
47996,how can you cheat on your significant other and then stare them in the eyes as if nothing happened some of yall a ,1.0
47997,thinking about changing my major fck man this is so frustrating accounting maybe idk ,2.0
47998,delaying the inevitable work in half an hour ,2.0
47999,haircuts aimed at destigmatizing teen mental health issues ,1.0
48000,andyclemmensen i appreciate them  haha,0.0
48001,my brain is eating itself i seek to know if anyone relatesi cant do anything without questioning it i cant even keep my eyes open and be conscious and not question it my brain physically hurts from doing this i am apathetic towards almost everything i do not know how to show emotion or excitement the only time i felt anything was with this certain man who brought me so much joy as i did to him but as it must it inevitably ended because of his lack of emotion and depression i did have mere hope and an ounce of feeling with him but it is all gone now i have been this way since puberty with it progressively getting worse i get bursts of motivation and then afterward am like well what the fuck was the point of that i am starting to understand why people blow their brains out every breath i take i question and i cant stop i am trapped in my mind and there isnt a way out im not sure why i am writing this because i dont want convincing that there is a way out i just dont want to feel so alone the pain is excruciating and everyone around me thinks im crazy ,3.0
48002,heey everyone check it out check it out check it outtttt  ,0.0
48003,having depression and generalized anxiety but not giving up on my dream,1.0
48004,time for food ,0.0
48005,got to play a little empress today  just gotta wait till wednesday then i could really splurge,0.0
48006,piano lesson in  hours ,0.0
48007,rt kellilgunn uhh anxiety is a feeling so literally anyone can claim it with or without a diagnosis ever been asked if youve been diag,1.0
48008,rt spxncxrx me ok lets just have fun tonightanxiety ok lets just have fun tonightme no really i just wananxiety nwo r ,1.0
48009,oh no i think my crock pot has died ,2.0
48010,has a feelig her step dad is gonna come in at any minute and try to make her go home ,2.0
48011,rt natkinggcole hate hate hate when people like to generalize anxiety and think its cool like bitch sit down worrying ab ur prom dressf,1.0
48012,icamefrommars its more than just sucks ,2.0
48013,i feel this deep sadness inside me this feelingknowledge that ill never amount to anything and that ill kill myself before ever having felt love and that thought alone kills me,3.0
48014,rt dalelauraaa im listening to music from  and honestly life was just so much simpler then im sad,0.0
48015,doesnt feel too great after that box fell on his head s ,2.0
48016,i made mcdonalds lose  cents todayim gunna get fired ,2.0
48017,rt cynnncityyyyy sad to see old friends stuck in the same mentality theres more to life than trappin getting lit everyday get yourself,0.0
48018,im sad  grade was hard lil homie keep ya head up ,2.0
48019,triggered yet again feeling deathly panic impulsively i checked the twitter account of an old colleague from  years ago i a  year old lifetimedepressed introvert single man with speech and thinking difficulties unemployed for the past  years living with his mother and sister received a jolt of panic and anxiety enough to think about dying right here and now i am in a tight grip of the comparing mind the colleague an extrovert and a peopleperson has two kids now and a successful new job with awards  connections and whatnot plastered all over his accounti am crying as i write this but i cant seem to accept my life situation every fiber of my being is screaming failure and that there cannot be any one stupider any body more of a failure at life than i am i do not want to live seriously i do not want life at all,3.0
48020,skylight opera theatre exec board and managing director  what is going on  pls engage with your audiences ,2.0
48021,thorstenster i know  just asked so that you can clarify it to them before the press gets a chance to distort your statement ,0.0
48022,rt lifeaseva can we all stop treating anxiety like its a choice and something cool to have thank you,0.0
48023,it disappears too fast i can spend weeks or months disciplining myself to be a functioning person but all it takes is a single thought a word a certain tone of voice a memory and the mold i created around myself crumbles and i become a parasite again if i try faking a mindset as soon as i get a sense of actual happiness it brings me back to the reality of myself and i end up worse than i was at the start of it all i want nothing except to disappear,3.0
48024,is crawling into bed today sucked balls ,2.0
48025,rt sakumziadam  if he was dating my girl bekazophelelwa amagama wokubhala iyhoo he was gonna commit suicide😰 httpstco,2.0
48026, i failed my algebra test ,2.0
48027,adlyman thanx  im doing great  but what are you doing in the middle of the night  p,0.0
48028,what to do today quali in  hour but not much to reli do when the weather is so crappy ,2.0
48029,false alarm on ithe iphone ,2.0
48030,whyyyyyy am i so boy crazy  this makes me sad,2.0
48031,epic fail shirt ,0.0
48032,working on a clients site i havent had enough time for time to crank out some rails goodness ,0.0
48033,justinobey i forgot that was tonight was planning on heading down to the cask that might not be such a good idea ,2.0
48034,this poor man is seriously demented its hilarious but also really sad that billkristol has sunk so low what a n ,1.0
48035,away to make my mum a compilation of music while eating my sprinkless fab ,2.0
48036,fireheather realdonaldtrump fact check them they ate not giving the american people the truth research and verif ,0.0
48037,sabrinaalexis oh crapy weather in new york city dang we are having it  hey it overcast and frigggn freezing in queensland ,2.0
48038,gonna try and make my own chicken congee tonight ,0.0
48039,stalling around disappointed ,2.0
48040,last few days have been getting tougher just when i feel it cant get any worse it does   over the past couple of days my mental state has consistently deteriorated to the point where ive begun to contemplate suicide again and i feel i may have no choice at this point   worst part of all this i dont know whats causing it i really wish i could just be happy i know i function better in every respect when im happier as do most im assuming  im sorry if this post is a bit rambly im looking for help but i dont know how to if only i knew what was causing the pain if only i could bring myself to enjoy things that i used to enjoy once again   the worst kind of depression is the one you dont understand if you know the cause you have a starting point at least i dont have that luxury,3.0
48041,back to studying something so drywish there was some logic ,0.0
48042,enterbelladonna i have to agree with you seems everytime i travel there are new rules and whats ok   isnt  another ,2.0
48043,troygoodfellow but this kind of drama can get more interesting than any game can hope to be ,0.0
48044,rt capsinational mental health awareness is being discussed in capsi national meetings  quebec,1.0
48045,rt bestmenshair  celebs who escaped from the terrifying clutches of depression ,1.0
48046, wasnt that bad it was a compliment i later found out ,0.0
48047,can anyone explain to me how they felt after taking anti depressants for the first time did it help does it depend on the person i went to a therapist today and she recommended i start anti depressants if i want to immediately because i have been depressed and anxious constantly but im afraid if i take them and ever stop taking them that ill become an even more deeply depressed person im a  year old female sending love to you all who dont mind helping me out with your own personal experience ,3.0
48048,wildangeljoy thanks for joining in tweeting idolscott joy lol we want him to know hes loooooved ,0.0
48049,i hate work after not sleeping much for  nightsoh well its my own fault for switching hours ,2.0
48050,jjx ill find a reason to put you in there one of these days ,0.0
48051,thinks that lilys pink eye is back  ,2.0
48052,site after site after site failing i just want to watch family guy  ,2.0
48053,i just need to make it to monday hello everyone i am mostly a lurker here but need some motivationadviceideas i suffer from chronic depression anxiety and ptsd lately i have been in a severe downward spiral and i am losing my grip on reality everything seems to be slipping away and i spend the majority of the day feeling dead just floating from thing to thing existing but not being alive i am going to contact my therapist and request being put in their inpatient program which lasts  weeks i am also going to contact my psychiatrist about other medicine options unfortunately neither are in until monday so here i am just trying to make it through the day im so low i cant stand it and of course i feel like this is never going to changeim also terrified of going into inpatient because i will have to do so much beforehand talk to my so talk to my job and make sure they would be ok with me being gone so long talking to clients in my freelance work i am going to tell everyone except my so of course that i have some medical issues that require attention it just all seems like so much but at the same time i feel like i need some intensive care to push through thistldr struggling with severe depression and cant talk to therapist or psychiatrist until monday need support andor advice on what i can do to make it through,3.0
48054,went to cafe at my job for breakfast in error i walked out with fake eggs  fake pork sausage and pan cakes and sugar free syrup  ,2.0
48055,rinoatakako not with me me am be seeing carmen tonight ,0.0
48056,resting up busy day tomorrow ,2.0
48057,my dads going to jail in a week fml help i really dont know how to cope with this because i love my dad hes been my dad since i was  and fuck it hurts me so much knowing that hes getting locked up for  months i get it its not that long but still hes always been there for me and its destroying me that i cannot tell him how i really feel about it all its destroying me he was the one family that understood me the most and now hes leaving me again even though im  i still got a lot to learn and its going to be much harder on me now with all my stress and anxiety and fears he goes to court on the  of april im definitely going to see him and say goodbye but it will be the hardest damn thing ill ever have to do i dont think i can be strong i feel like im falling apart and the world doesnt even know im screaming for help hes asked me to be a strong independent woman whose an adult that can go through anything apparently for him thats only thing will get him through those  months i put on a fake smile and laugh while saying of course dad heh ill be strong dont worry but deep down im angry and im hurt hes going to be missing a lot of holidays and my  birthday which is huge in any girls life he wouldnt be there on christmas or new years or even valentines day what do i do my lifes already falling apart and now i get find out even more shitty news on easter 😭😭,3.0
48058,feels like summer is hereoutdoor movie night raiders of the lost ark ,0.0
48059,i feel sad like reallyshocked like reallyeven tho we dont know each other 💜,0.0
48060, thanks man ,0.0
48061,oh and by the way  i am not a recruiter  just looking for  lucky intern ,0.0
48062,sarahbethpenn ive just started i have done everything i can as far as cardio wise and now i shall buff up ,0.0
48063,feed your head foods that target depression and anxiety foodtank,0.0
48064,food eating time for mothers day yay ,0.0
48065,is off to work in a bit i want to be in the sunshine ,2.0
48066,littlejohanna hej hej im back again bothering you xd my vacation was amazing monamptuesday off as well  its cool i  candy  ,0.0
48067,coreyhaines cool thanks  i started a blog entry so maybe well see it soon  ,0.0
48068,do you ever get angry depressed when people tell you to settle with life maybe its just me but i hate it when people tell me to settle for life to stop trying and accept living miserable until you die i cant stand it becuase it destroys any shred of hope or motivation that i have anybody else encounter this does this make you feel depressed and or angry like it does me,3.0
48069,examensdags ,0.0
48070,been sick today and spent most of my time in bed ,2.0
48071, good ol beat days huh  ,0.0
48072,fresh blood ,0.0
48073,leaving for freshman orientation at the university of north texas probably wont have internet until i get home ttyl ,0.0
48074,leaving for ttt no enthusiasm in that statement ive had the prerace bgs all day long ,2.0
48075,dear twitter    plz change the characterword count to  words limited in a message thnx its really annoying  words only ,0.0
48076,dannygokey i just left milwaukee amp you get there ,2.0
48077,quotfeliz dia mamiiiiii te amooo dios te bendigaa graciasquot     jackelin celedon mares  from facebook   her spanish is better than mine ,0.0
48078,here we go again  days left ,0.0
48079,hah  is awesome  seriously atleast waay better than ,0.0
48080,annericeauthor how about a class action law suit every citizen sues him for undue anxiety for risking our health ,1.0
48081,time to sleep  bye ,0.0
48082,sammyfbaby girlfran tomorrow night is gonna be bangin ,0.0
48083,with hannah being all twilighty ,0.0
48084, work   im starving,2.0
48085,mariamariamaria im sorry you arent feeling too good mama  im heading up today   ill be calling you ,2.0
48086, white zara tube dress with patton flats i forgot my grey pumps ripped a lil in jamaica  i need new shoes,2.0
48087,  these guys made some cool shirts dont seem to be around anymore ,2.0
48088,i feel like utter shit ive always been sorta depressed but never like this ive spent  of my time in bed doing either nothing or looking at the same shit on reddit whereas normally id be on my computer playing games n shit i feel super tired all the time and when i do get up i feel sluggish and exposed my suicidal thoughts have gotten worse and i feel super useless i get dysphoria p bad but ill leave that out i havent showered in  days i barely eat and i havent cleaned my room in months ive tried to get help but the policy is that they wont tell my parents anything unless they think im in danger and im pretty sure this counts i really dont want my parents to know because even thinking of the support theyll give me makes me feel sick i want to stop being like this but its a part of me and i dont want to lose it im only  why am i like this,3.0
48089,cant use ivsstatusbar in my project if i add a ref to the interop dll i start getting compile errors i think its another ccli bug ,2.0
48090,i got a new summer dress again with my mum earlier and some leggings  buzzz,0.0
48091,daveverwer ha i implemented that for  last week p so it will be there ,0.0
48092,pdiamondz siiigh just work ,2.0
48093,rt adrianxpression bitch move you didnt bat an eyelid at your husbands racist bigotry or his confession of being a sexual predator htt,2.0
48094,yeah super cute and the print is sweet  nancytoldyouso those are really fun shoes loving the chanel print drools,0.0
48095,cashless paying in germany still fiction  i mean who pays a € metro ticket with a little sack filled with coins stupid,2.0
48096,help peterfacinelli win a bet follow him now ,0.0
48097,its a beautiful saturday morning and im feeling marvelous excited to go to the potluck later and spend time with great friends   ,0.0
48098,flylady drats forgot to take the meat out of the freezer now we have to figure something else out for dinner  means spending more money,2.0
48099,i badly mistreated someone who liked me and the guilt is killing me this has been weighing a lot on my mind recently the reality of my  years of complete social isolation only really hit me this past year i can no longer pretend im fine the worst part is that my situation is completely selfimposed i couldnt blame anyone else for it even if i wanted to i have hated myself all my life in my late teens i started to push people away from me i felt like i didnt deserve anyones company i made damn sure there would be no one left to care for meenter the girl we used to share some classes in elementary school as far as i can remember we never even exchanged words but i thought she was cute one morning still in high school i was taking my language exam i spotted her in the room as i was taking my assigned seat she was absolutely god damn gorgeous she was the kind of beauty that was painful to look at and she was beaming at me me there i was mired in selfloathing trying to get through yet another day without killing myself and out of nowhere one of the most beautiful girls i have ever seen is giving me a look unlike anything id ever received sounds good huh just waitdid i smile back or wave or go talk to her oh no  me couldnt possibly comprehend why anyone let alone someone like her would be happy to see him maybe it was a joke mind you in  grade i was asked out by two different girls as a joke i was a loser and i wasnt exactly used to genuine female attention if those two rather plainlooking girls treated me like that why would this beauty queen think different so i looked away must have been a mistake and even if it wasnt she would soon realize how worthless i was i didnt think much about it at the time i figured we would never meet again anyway i was wrongwe end up in the same college i see her the first day i keep silent i cant hold a conversation to save my life so how do i walk up to her and explain why i ignored her it seemed impossible my brilliant strategy was to pretend i didnt know her you read that correctly and boy did i follow through for three years i pretended like she didnt exist even though it was obvious i knew she did at first she looked confused later on she looked angry then she got the picture and ignored me then i dropped outi saw her on the street again a couple of weeks back it was extremely uncomfortable for me to pretend and i know it was for her too now before someone asks let me clear something up im not secretly in love with her im not that guy but i feel so guilty about the way i treated her that its eating away at me i have hurt others in the past but this one stands tall this is easily the worst way i have ever treated anyone and i did it to someone who showed me kindness at such a low point in my life maybe i was right to hate myself to begin withshe deserves an apology i just dont know if ill ever get the chance to do itim sorry for the novel but i needed to get this off my chest thank you if you made it this far,3.0
48100,rajasa living in this kind of society yes we should yesim a great pretender ,0.0
48101,just finished the worst run of my run of my entire it really sucks knowing your bad at everything and that all you do is let people down i can see disappointment on everyones face and im trying so hard to not cry,3.0
48102,hollywills thought that was supposed to be bird poop  hows harry today ,0.0
48103,im taking rascalmurray for a haircut today he doesnt know it yet  ,0.0
48104,feels really sick just puked my guts out    help please ,2.0
48105,my brain is fried sitting in this house all alone wondering where all my friends have gonei think im starting to lose my shitwith no idea how to get a gripmy thoughts are really starting to haunt meits killing me cant you seei guess no you really can notholding it in is beginning to make me rotlately my thoughts have been dark and grimscaring me wondering how long till i pick up a blade again i feel like the last person on earthkeep fucking everything up i have no self worthits gonna be another long nighthopefully ill make it through alright  wc,3.0
48106, word  looking forward to it  ,0.0
48107,i am pleased to report that i have adjusted and am loving the house to myself and never want to see another person again ,0.0
48108,help me i think even punching walls doesnt help me anymoreits at a point where i cant even bruise my knuckles to feel painim scared that i might resolve to deeper and more darker remedies,3.0
48109, hey hun how are you spending this sunny day ,0.0
48110,i want ice cream  ahh havent had somee in forever,0.0
48111,tweet tweet  finally got my mcfly dvd wooo  that made me very happy ,0.0
48112,got wordpress and twitter to interact but facebook app doesnt work ,2.0
48113,i am no good i want to start this post off by saying i am not looking for attention i do not want people in the comments to tell me i am good for x and x reasons i have thought extensively about this and have come to terms with the fact that i am a piece of shit human being i am however conflicted in why i act the way that i do and why i dont make better steps to change myself if anybody cares to read this i just need to get this off of my chest it will be a long post to try and keep this post organized i will attempt to use situations that have happened in my life and correlate them to why i am a no good human based on how i see myself today if you cant  follow nobody in their right minds could blame you edit this post is not organized at all it is extremely hard to followi will start this off with my childhood i came from what could be described as a traumatic situation i was adopted at birth and there is this whole fucked up dispute between my adoptive and birth family my birth family was in a bad situation when i was given up they then quickly recovered from the situation and wanted me back this obviously created tensions with my adoptive family there is lots more to this that i do not really need to get into as it doesnt really explain stuff better my adoptive mother does not like me it has been this way for as long as i can remember she has emotionally abused me all my life but it has not affected me to where i am in my current state she is a piece of shit for what she did to me but i really do not care i essentially live two lives who everybody sees me as and who i really am you might think everybody does this dumbass but i disagree to the extent i am doing i have everybody convinced i am a depressed teenager who has family issues who just happens to be an asshole to everybody unintentionally the unintentionally part comes from my inability to read social situations i have high functioning autism and it really only affects my ability to read social situations i will say one thing in my head it means one thing but the way i have said it sounds a lot worse or makes it sound bad when i meant something good i will not realize it until later and by then it is too late this really fucked me over getting friends as a kid in elementary i just couldnt do it i really do not care however which  i find is a very common theme in my life not caring how i see myself is this person who manipulates everybody around him into believing this one big lie which is my life and what is interesting is i am actually worse than everybody thinks like i said before people think of me as somebody who is depressed and is an asshole to everybody but it is so much deeper in truth i have no idea if i am depressed i really truly cannot tell i can tell that i am a complete douche to everyone like i said before it is usually unintentionally but my mind games i use with people is what really makes me fucked up i pit people against eachother like my adoptive mother and father building it up over years until they nearly got divorced how could i cause that truth be told i dont even know how and holy fuck this post has explained nothing i will really try to speed this up i am fucked up because i masquerade as this depressed asshole who isnt actually depressed i dont think is still an asshole and plays mind games that i can play off as my mental illness which creates some sort of paradox because i am so fucked up that i am pretending to be less fucked up so i can fuck people over even more than i could if i told people what i really am like now please take this as the least braggy way as possible but i have been deemed scientifically as a genius this however i think is such fucking bullshit i am good with puzzles i guess and can fuck with peoples minds but if i am supposedly so smart why do i feel the need to annoy people or why cant i stop fucking with people so much it almost ruins their lives i made my adoptive dad call his mother telling her how bad of a father he is and how stupid of a person he is while crying it is so fucked up what scares me the most is that i do not care at all i love my dad but i dont care enough to stop ruining his life how is this intelligence im sorry if this made no sense i just wanted to get a lot off my chest this post might get removed for me saying im not depressed i honestly might be depressed who fucking knows people who have opinions on this please post i really want to know what people think about this ,3.0
48114,cayogial i wanted to come to bz this summer  not so sure anymore a teachers life in the summer sucks ,2.0
48115,signs off  see you guys in the am ,0.0
48116, i dont think he really ever has had a friend because he doesnt know how to be a friend he has proba ,0.0
48117, thanks  u r right,0.0
48118,butchtastickyle wait  how much fun was the shower love  got any pictures  ,0.0
48119,anxiety can be debilitating luckily these quick and natural remedies can help you battle that overwhelming war ,1.0
48120,marcyluvstravel omg i dont blame you hope you didnt hurt him too bad ,0.0
48121,simondspencer ahh sweetie its called ageingthough of course for some it comes sooner than others ,0.0
48122,at which time did you tell your parents that you are depressed im really struggling if i should tel my parents that im depressed i dont want them to treat me differently or anything else i have the same with friends except  because he is also depressed but in a other way i gets me and i get him and i know that he wont gossip about me with other friends i come from a island so you know all the people around your age and stories go around quickly but yeah i thought its maybe good for my parents to know but i dont want them to know as well,3.0
48123,tombrazelton im guessing your time is as stretched as mine dndorkstwcwebcomicnet and  dozen more we need to maximize our time ,0.0
48124,oh my ryannes a college friend mom just died this afternoon  condolences to you and your family,2.0
48125,i dont care about abortion you can do with ur body whatever u want as long as u can afford it i only care who pa ,0.0
48126, bioominghope im sad,2.0
48127,just got a tweetdeck and playing around with it  looks cool so far ,0.0
48128,someone please just tell me something good about me all i want is love for someone to truly care about whats going on but everything ive been through nobody has been by my side recently ive gotten a therapist and medication but everything is going downhill again i miss my ex so much and no matter how much i block it out of my head it always comes back i cant post anywhere else because i lost my old reddit account so i have barley any social life anymore and i dont know where my life is headed nobody sees me as cute or sweet or funny despite my overwhelming depression i see myself as all of those but its hard to truly believe in yourself when nobody else believes in you i just need some motivation please,3.0
48129,getting too much  from tweetin my tweet screen s now eff f up only showin  now instead of  ,2.0
48130,thisisdavina lisa was right fasting is a boring and failure of a way to get attention from us at home lisa to win ,0.0
48131,missnyle we just need to get the dates first  alvin you got any friends for us,0.0
48132,morning world first day of being a lady of leisure  love it  ,0.0
48133,leanneorama i just had a wee look at you myspage page after i posted that comment and want to apologise for being so spammy ,2.0
48134, i have no hope for recovery ive had depressionanxiety disassociation since i was  years old and have  tried every ssri out there with minimal short term results ive been to countless therapists and only really made progress with one before she retired ive dropped out of high school with only  credits left and i lost my part time job and have no money and nothing to my name i cant even drive ive spent almost all of my time the last  or  months in bed and i think about killing myself every day but am too scared to go through with it i wish i just had the courage to finally end it and stop being dependent on everyone around me my boyfriend has a good chance of getting a really good job but probably wont take it because he doesnt want to leave me alone for  hours at a time and the guilt is eating away at me i feel like if i killed myself he would be free to pursue a successful career and have a much better life i dont feel like a have the energy or will to even try to get any better every little thing takes so much effort ,3.0
48135, sad truths about people who were supposed to be great httpstcoeczxwshjha ,0.0
48136,i dont know whats wrong with me but i feel powerless every night whenever the night comes and im lying on my bed alone i just couldnt help feel empty meaningless and the strong feeling of giving up on life i dont see something in my life that worth hanging up to but i have no idea about whats wrong with me my life is seemingly ok i have a regular job just to keep myself busy so its not the job that fucks me up as for family my family is fine and in harmony maybe my love life can be an issue i want to love someone but theres no one ever loves me back equally i had a rather cliche story about one girl mentally crippled me but lives a happy life now ill spare the details actually that was in about two years ago shouldnt be a problem anymore i guess i never date anyone after that i dont find someone that feels eye to eye in any possible relation im vulnerable and i dont want anyone to find out so i always keep it to myself and act like i have a decent life and im indifferent in most trivial stuff i still participate in almost every possible social event and meeting new people drink together but never once that i actually cared about those new friends that i met i act like im having fun its like im hypnotizing myself by engaging in a rather sociable situation in order to not feel more lonely and empty yet i still do i feel powerless and everything is empty that doesnt spark at all what the fuck is wrong with me am i just constantly not satisfied when people ask me how im doing i always say im doing pretty good because i dont have a good reason to be doing shitty despite i really do feel that way,3.0
48137,rt ziwe sadgressive adj a moment of progressive social reform that is sad when you consider contextsentence it is sadgressive th,0.0
48138,  my sister graduated yesterday im so proud of her ,0.0
48139,aalohomoraa  learning makes perfect wi haha poshpantspaddy  thanx for the recommend  how can i call u,0.0
48140,its  stop giving me stress acne,2.0
48141,jmilles ah yes the annual decision we will miss you ,2.0
48142,i hate being grounded ,2.0
48143,nicksponge yep yep we shouddd  there  here  sad but oh well  or was it  haha,2.0
48144,codyks also put an extra key in ur wallet worth its weight in gold ,0.0
48145,going  to sampr alabang craving for combo pizza and blue bunny cookie dough ice cream ,0.0
48146,lol im bored nobody is on twitter ,2.0
48147,aubretarded lol i just asked myself the exact same thing  good luck unpacking ,0.0
48148,found a loved one dead he hung himself i have so many emotions and just need to word vomit i found my exboyfriend dead in his home this week he had hung himself no not from the ceiling from a shelf his feet were on the ground he could have changed his mind at anytime but didnt i called  and tried to get him down but i couldnt turns out i wouldnt have been able to help anyways he had been dead for at least  hours at that point i was checking in on him because i hadnt heard from him in a few days neither had his friends he can be a recluse so we thought maybe he was gaming but wanted to check just in case all the info i had for his parents was out of date the cops couldnt get a hold of them so  hours later i finally contacted his dad by calling his medical practice and begging to be transferred i had to tell his dad what happened he didnt believe and said he just talked to his son less a day ago but i told him it was the hardest phone call ive ever had to make the next day his mom wanted details how far off the ground was he was he clothed did you see any signs this was coming that was the second hardest phone call ive ever had to makesome background for you we dated for two years he helped me leave a controlling religious organization he was my first deep and longterm love and my first for a lot of things use your imagination he changed the trajectory of my life forever when i found him this week it had been just over a year since weve been broken up but in the last few months recently reconnected and were creating a uniquesilly friendship that ill cherish foreverin trying to piece together what happened i reached out to his friends to see if he had sent any last messages to them i even reached out to his ex before me they all received the same message when im done with quarantine he had just got back from living abroad im going to come to you and were going to hang out or i hope youre living your best life all i want for you is to be happy and healthy individually these messages are nothing out of the ordinary looking at the big picture i believe this was him saying goodbye im finding i have emotions i never thought id have i have a jealousy of his relationships with his friends and past girlfriends seeing their posts and tributes gives me more heartache than comfort i have a longing to know him better and i have sincere regret for so many things not keeping more photos after we broke up not calling him more once we were friends again and not seeing the signs of sadness and pain he was in just to name a few i know these are selfish thoughts i know this isnt about me i know i should be more worried about his family and friends and making sure theyre okay but these feelings are so strong and i dont understand them honestly the jealousy if thats even what it is is really making me feel like an awful personi loved this man finding him hanging in his house where i basically used to live with him was the worst day of my life this has been the worst week of my life and i hope this is the worst itll get i have an amazing therapist who is on call and i have great friends who are letting me stay with them so im not alone but in between sessions life is hard i feel like a burden to friends and family they dont know what to say i dont know what i want them to say but im really struggling everyone asks if im okay and im not i dont really see a light at the end of the tunnel i know itll come but when im not in pain im numb and i dont know which is better or worseim scared to go back to a normal routine to go back to work because that all seems normal and i feel anything but normal anymorei dont know what im hoping for by posting this i just needed to get it out if you made it this far thank you and im sorry this is heavy shit,3.0
48149,shanselman still no class loaders or even custom assembly loaders ,2.0
48150,thejoshuablog ed wasnt here today so u dont have to pick on him ,0.0
48151,its tough to be around wonderful people when i am desperate and ugly i really enjoy hanging out with others and i always make an effort to be a wholesome jokester but my experiences in the past will always leave a sad feeling when i think it might be possible that i like someone,3.0
48152,hand spinner tri fidget stress reducer adhd anxiety autism metal desk toy edc  via ebay ,1.0
48153,tommcfly because my friend knew youand is not fair if i cant know you too  i want to give to you my buz lightyear yet,2.0
48154,worried about the future too much you started reconsidering all the life choices you made in the past its a vicious cycle it gets better with time but right now i am graduating soon and anticipating a lot of things so the cycles back,3.0
48155,hildemen cant see the link on fb so came here  cant see it here ,2.0
48156,you know those quotdevilquot projects you hate the ones with  problem after another a construction job at my house has become  of those ,2.0
48157,rt  ur wcw takes  depression naps a day worries about nothing and eats everything in sight its me im ur wcw,2.0
48158,celebrittney brittney u r so flippin mean dude smh  lol,2.0
48159,my crack free spree has ended sadly i had yo settle for a raspberry tea vs an arnold palmer or just a regular iced tea ,2.0
48160,rt  senatorcantwell your constituents elected you because you represent their environmental values  betrays inno,0.0
48161,rt bernmelnyk teen suicide is on the rise we must do a better job with prevention and teaching cbtcoping skills before depression occur,1.0
48162,mann this was straight depression today in ranked matchs soo rusty edit i was extremely satly lol,2.0
48163,not suicidal thoughts but are they still an issue background i have trouble sleeping then try and sleep through the day avoid friends family and society in general dont eat then suddenly overeat i hate going out i dont do what i love doingnever seem to have the energy or the attention anymore all my life ive done the best i possibly can to be a good person but life iskinda poop i live  hours away  by airplane  from home i used to be super social a decade ago i have to interact with people at work just lost my job so im freelancing and smiling makes me tired im exhausted well i feel exhausted pysically and mentally i dont think about killing myself my mom would be hurt a lot of people would i guess i sometimes find myself thinking about maybe fantasizing about getting hit by a car or shot or being in a house fire is this something i should seek help fori have not gone to seek help financial reasons prevent me from doing so so im not even sure if i should be posting here if not tell me this shit is going to pass and that im being paranoid or idiotic or somethingthank you,3.0
48164, if you help me do my room ,2.0
48165,anxiety httpstcozhkyifacvn,1.0
48166,i wish i could get medication again it made such a damn difference,3.0
48167,i need to talk to desireydezzmcr or maddie xxmcrladyxx in private  and luckytrinket text me,2.0
48168,how do i help my friend with her depression when im relapsing im exhausted and even sending a text takes so much energy i want to help my friend who needs me over text right now but i dont want to think or do anything i usually help her so i feel bad for not being there because if you cant rely on your friends who can you rely on,3.0
48169, i knew that but i loved the name  i miss it,2.0
48170,a minor mistake set me back i made a small but preventable mistake and someone called me out and basically said dont let it happen again however i wasnt able to take it as just a small nudge towards doing the right thing going forward instead i ruminated on it all morning and decided i was pretty much a lazy failure who hasnt done anything right ever im frustrated because i had been making a lot of progress not getting all upset about things but today i really got down about this minor issue maybe its a lack of sleep and hormones  anyone else get like this,3.0
48171,nsummy you still up for the concert tonight  youre a party animal i cant keep up,0.0
48172, ,2.0
48173,doing a crossword at worki love days like this ,0.0
48174,taneshad im glad you came thru ,0.0
48175,drklutch yeah ,2.0
48176,my one friend said i should ask this guy out but idk if i want to i just nerve though of him like that befor well night everyone ,0.0
48177,i have a plan and everything ready i really cant take it anymore ive finally accepted that things will never get better no one will bat an eye once im gone and thats that and i say that but the fact that im making this post to a bunch of strangers as if they care just proves how much more pathetic i ambye,3.0
48178,teenymunchkins so i cd have saved the money and done it all within minutes all by myself   ,2.0
48179,selenagomez when did this happen ,2.0
48180,omg i just find out about something i did not really want to find out  im sooooo crying right now ,2.0
48181,my dad died and it ripped my family to shreds none of us actually like eachother or emotionally support eachother or anything at all its all just a fucking joke,3.0
48182,rt laurdiy stressed take a bath sad take a bath bored take a bath happy and have  hours worth of netflix and a snack ready take a,0.0
48183,enchantedquill ok that i definitely didnt make clearthe instructions were for a  blogger profile duh sorry ,2.0
48184,there in fourth  ,2.0
48185,evicted ,2.0
48186,rt youngbabycoco stfu bitch ,2.0
48187,calling it a night ,2.0
48188,rt shaikhlalsakal मी देखील आरक्षणाच्या लढाईतील शिपाई मराठा तरुणाची आत्महत्याबीड,0.0
48189,if youre looking for a sign this is it get out of bed take a shower brush your hairteeth put on fresh clothes drink a glass of water have a snack take your meds and maybe get outside for some fresh airsometimes we need a sign or a small reminder to do even the most basic tasks i just showered and changed my clothes for the first time in almost a week it feels refreshing and for at least a few minutes i feel human again ,3.0
48190,getting back into a healthy routine is way harder than i expected i recently moved out of my abusive fathers house to go live with my mom in the island i grew up on its the safest place on the planet to mewhile living with my dad i barely got out of my room i barely had get the strength to shower brush my teeth cook myself food i had such an unhealthy lifestyle but i had no one to help me out of it so it went on for almost a yearnow that im back home i feel a little bit better but its still hard to get back into a routine my plan is to go swimming everyday because i really need exercise get home shower brush my teeth etc but its been really hardi guess its because im used to an unhealthy routine and i need to break my bad habits but man its difficultif someone reading this has a similar issue just keep doing your best push yourself to do things but do it little by little its gonna be ok we can do it,3.0
48191,lol • diggnation  • live in new york,0.0
48192,the library is such a lonely place without energy and health left in mafia wars  dyinggg,2.0
48193,my anxiety makes me have no appetite so maybe one bright side is that ill get skinny lmao,1.0
48194,mileycyrus awesome d voting right now good luck   cant wait to see you in the uk d its guna be awesomeeee ,0.0
48195,heading back to work ,2.0
48196,calamityclem toujours assommée vide les yeux brûlants mais ce fut une chouette soirée  hugs from the queen of heart,0.0
48197,im so sad i really hope hes okay i really want to give him a hug and tell him that everything is going to be okay ,0.0
48198,overwhelming feelings of depression despair and anxiety after parties does anyone else experience overwhelming feels of despair and anxiety the days after a party for context im a musician who plays and attends a lot of house and bar shows afterwards i overthink every little interaction that happened the night before until im completely overwhelmed with anxiety ive gotten a bit better with that but still feel completely depressed for days after a showi usually drink a lot at shows but not always i honestly dont know what to do i dont wanna stop playing shows but i can get over this extreme depressed feeling,3.0
48199, exited i just bought some oreos i hope everyone likes oreos,0.0
48200,layin it downwish my hb were here or vice versa only  days to go baby   hope u feel better in the am night fellow tweeters,0.0
48201,doublehs im so mad rn bc of this so now a hot mess of sad and mad and annoyed and ugh,2.0
48202,im a selfish person i havent cleaned my room in months and every time my mom asks me to help i just cant make myself do anything now there has been more and more days that i would just rather lay in my bed watching pointless shows rather than getting up and doing something helpful or productive the worst part is i dont even know where all of these come from  i had a pretty good childhood always had food loving family enough friends the only thing that brought me down was my dad who would constantly yell at me for things i wound be able to control since i was little at the time now i just get anxiety whenever someones yell at me but that still  doesnt explain why i began giving up that much  im so tired of being this shitty selfish person who has no motivation to do anything i really want to get back on track but i have no clue how i have also asked my mom to get me a therapist but she didnt really listen to me and i genuinely dont know how to find one myself whenever i go out with my friends i like it at first but they never want to do anything interesting like go to a museum or a park whether they are busy or have no money which is i see less and less reasons to go out with them all we do is what i can do by myself sit around and watch moviesim sorry for such a long paragraph im just really lost  as in what am i supposed to do next  i want to get the motivation i need and hopefully someone has any kind of advice that could help,3.0
48203,rt coldbeefbroth ppl that dont like cats are too pussy to live with individualistic personalityfilled technicallynotdomesticated cre,0.0
48204,my wee great grandad just had a fall  i hate it when that happens,2.0
48205,ive been miserable for  years really need advice hi  im hina as far as the internet knows meim  turning  in april ive been sad for a long time but not until recently did i realize how detached from reality i am  ill give you a bit of backstory i dropped out of school when i was  because i severely hate human interaction and my appearance i leave my house as little as possible maybe once of or twice a week to work a shift at my shitty job that gives me no hours i can only really leave my room room until  because my stepmom doesnt like me and makes it very apparent dad and grandma ask me to stay in my room since we live in a  bed apt and its hard not to run into each other i usually end up playing league until  and sleep until  miss my meds not be able to leave my room because of my step mom repeat its a miserable cycle and im constantly uncomfortable in my own home all my friends are mainly online but i have  irl sometimes it takes me a week to convince myself to shower or brush my teeth or hair the only motivation i have to get out of bed and onto my pc is my friends and league so i feel like my family hates my existence and that im starting to go bat shit after spending  years stuck in my room im not good at talking about my feelings to my friends so thats kinda why im turning to posting here i just need some advice or just someone that understands and wont judge me im kinda just at a point where i dont know what to do anymoresorry this was so long thanks to everyone who took the time to read ,3.0
48206,billbeckett this kind of failed i had to log off because i couldnt find any tai members  i really wanted to talk to you bu ,2.0
48207,davidarchie im late with this too  you dont even need a treadmill i need a treadmill ive used one before i know what you are,2.0
48208,egare too bad we dont have an orange julius here ,2.0
48209,mpora  niiiice one its the same here  no snow ,2.0
48210,its so hard to keep going lately most days i wake up feeling like a shitty failure and i want to die not that i want to kill myself but i just think that if this is what my life is going to look like for the next few decades well i may just be better off dead because there is no joy no happiness no successes no people to spend it with i just exist i function i go through the motions every day and i feel nothing its like im slipping further and further down this hole that i cant find my way out of i feel so suffocated by everything and everyone that surrounds me most of all im tired im tired of feeling like this i want to be happy again but all i feel is traumatised by life and i dont think my body remembers how to feel joy anymore,3.0
48211,rt beyondbrokendep have you ever been so sad that you cant even cry you just sit there and think about how sad you are,1.0
48212,imogen heaps music makes me smile ,0.0
48213,rt softseptiishu  just sad things in the fandom rn,2.0
48214,alexdscott oh yeah as i like to call him asian jesus wanabee yes charlie is gay  yay x x,0.0
48215,my tum hurts  i want bed,2.0
48216,i feel im literally too worthless to self harm im not worth the energy to self harm ive been through  years of a completely disabled sister who could die at any second  houses my parents divorcing because my dad attempted to murder my mom and no my best friend just died i feel completely worthless a waste of flesh and have no control at all of what is happening around me,3.0
48217,lukeymunky lol we need the ones from the china shop in sydney  we had master plans for them ,2.0
48218,rt pillowxthoughts anxiety is a devastating thing no matter how many times you are told to breathe it feels as though the air has all,1.0
48219,working in the yard  getting ready for camp charlie ,0.0
48220,jhillstephens thanks for the ff attention and love  much appreciated  ,0.0
48221,rt fact the average high school student has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient would in ,1.0
48222,finally seeking help but really confused about something probably simple hey everyone burner account here long story short but my wife went ahead and told my dad about my depression in the interest of seeking financial help to get me through it to see someone now that i can afford a few sessions i am looking into different therapists its been a real tough problem though as everyone either doesnt accept insurance or just doesnt answer their phonesone i found who accepts my insurance and whose office is literally located a floor above where i work is innetwork problem is though he does christian counseling here is where i feel dumb im atheist and have no interest in religion is christian counseling just a specialty amongst other counselings or is christian counseling the method used if its the former that is fine and i will make an appointment with him thanks for your time,3.0
48223,damn mom returned twilight amp didnt have time to watch it with the actors talking during it like commenting or something like that ,2.0
48224,has become the unofficial directionsgiver at tm   httptweetsg,2.0
48225,i am with my uli at me casa hhmm what adventures will we get into ,0.0
48226,my jaw really dropped when i heard heartless  kris allen on someones multiply site kris is getting ltsgtfamousltsgtmainstream ,2.0
48227,album topmusicfrance the age of anxiety  pixx the age of anxiety pixx genre   topalternative itunes france,1.0
48228, what do you want high iso for keep your spirit high  i want a tripod,0.0
48229,new day new chance ,2.0
48230,not in the mood for work this morning wana see my boyfriend ,2.0
48231,is leaving paris soon  and has had the best time ever ,2.0
48232,mdmpoppyfields lmfao im sorry but that was hilarious okay sims  is pretty addicting sighs like a drug ,2.0
48233,just got in line at the sprint store on  we are  and  we are getting a palmpre ,0.0
48234,picked up a bottle of leblon to make some very strong caipirinhas on my sisterinlaws boat today  i do love the summer ,0.0
48235,radiospryte thank you ,0.0
48236,woo just finished new moon off to eclipse haha schools almost over guys  ill miss a lot of people but looking forward to doing a lot ,2.0
48237,srvp get  followers a day using wwwtweeterfollowcom once you add everyone you are on the train or pay vip ,0.0
48238,time to pass out ,2.0
48239,photo subway ad of the  mostest less original book review  ,0.0
48240,waitin in greyhounf for my bus ,2.0
48241,listening to the fray you found mewhales are beached in africa i wish i could help alas im in socal  hopefully there safe,2.0
48242,wrightfilms  you are very welcome  happy to know i could make someone smile ,0.0
48243,woot i ran the best pft ive ever done yesterdayand i havent workout in a month  crunches  pullups and a   mile time ,0.0
48244,alancarr ha just seen this advert of you as a little kid was hilarious  looked abit like verne troyer with hair you rock princess,0.0
48245,swimming pool  i want to talk with daddy  hes in toronto ,2.0
48246,fred and wesley are better than fred and gunn at least i think so ,2.0
48247,yunglopez nothin  ,2.0
48248,oooo looks like we are in for a treat more rain today ,2.0
48249,anibal ouch ,2.0
48250,misses my andy ,2.0
48251,gonna read for a bit before i have to go to school ,2.0
48252,rt ginunesss sad but true ,2.0
48253,ugh found  library books where the efff are the other two cant get prom ticket until i return em ,2.0
48254,laundry day today no excuses sun is shining bright ,2.0
48255,wondering why she mad i miss her so much and its only been a day ,2.0
48256,good morning everyone  sometime during the night twitter text started working again but i think its kinda laggy ,0.0
48257,my new favorite word is insouciant insouciant definition free from concern worry or anxiety httpstcohnnwjoeqlm via dictionarycom,1.0
48258,rt ygsful if youre happy today let me remind you that tomorrow is our very first tuesday without run bts now youre sad,1.0
48259,aim isnt working for me this sux ,2.0
48260,c gng lt  ngi dy ,2.0
48261,today was great ,0.0
48262,ooohmtv movie awards tomoz  cant wait but really cant watch as i need  revise ,2.0
48263,isaiah your also twitting ,0.0
48264,baby  well i like to reply at the top neh  i hate this lets all get along again  i say ,0.0
48265,drmeverything  i wantz to be thar ,2.0
48266,failingwords swore  lol because my football team cant win a fucking game theyre sooooo bad right now ,2.0
48267,on my way to dinner hope to make a difference ,0.0
48268,hey hawkcam woohoo   good news about portico thanks carditoo   hawkcam live gt ,0.0
48269,missin this morning sprinsteentalktomcfly ,0.0
48270,ankitagaba nice thoughttweeter matrimony ,0.0
48271,i felt nothing so i self harmed and now i feel even more nothing i feel like the title doesnt even make sense i cant feel my emotions anymore i cant feel anything,3.0
48272,munching a cold snickers bar couldnt be happier ,0.0
48273,feeling weird tonight just feel odd like im alone and want friends to shoot the shit but at the same time just empty and dont really care havent really experienced this,3.0
48274,making   wish i was at the beach ,2.0
48275,cant see my therapist and i would probably need it weve just went over multiple painful factors in my life we should have talked about but the isolation in my country started right day before my next sitting i was a wreck even before but since i cant talk to the only person i could have really talked to makes me even more miserable schoolwork is only piling up and im unable even to get out of my bed all day curled up is negatively affecting me as well i have resisted to hurt myself so i have at least some good newsits never a good solution im sorry for the grammar and whining like a piece of shit here,3.0
48276,getting somewhere my insurance went through my mom made an appointment for me to get evaluated the lady she was on the phone with asked a few questions and said ill start with private sessions and then go to group the evaluation is next thursdayi cant have caffeine hopefully it helps,3.0
48277,im sitting in the breakroom by myself and someones phone is going off arghhhh i cant even have  minutes of peaceful time or what ,2.0
48278,westmo goooood gooood mush im great its my last day of sexy schoool loooool   my party has been moved to the  july ages away tho,0.0
48279,hollywoodheat awh u got haters tooits cool means ur popular ,0.0
48280,joalby aw indeed someday  for now though ill just be drowning some sorrows at wombat and heading home to maybe write something,0.0
48281,im checking my tropical fish some of them have very short lives ,2.0
48282,we were going to go today but didnt  ,2.0
48283,is halfway thru reading mrjacko biogreat read ,0.0
48284,ah great time w emilyaguillon and  haha we did tons of laughing ,0.0
48285,depression and rexulti hi everyone i am hoping others here may have experience with the drug rexulti brexpiprazolethree months ago i started on  of rexulti to help treat my social anxiety disorder and clinical depression i also have borderline personality disorder and am on  of celexacitalopram several weeks in and rexulti was making me chronically exhausted and constantly starving so ive been lowered to a  dose as of this week to see how that helps with my tiredness however ive noticed a sudden spike in my mood swings that i didnt have on just celexa my fiance works part time and attends college and ive been having daily episodes where i am becoming hysterical and sobbing as soon as he leaves these episodes come on abruptly and are all consuming lasting up to an hour and usually recurring throughout the day  my anxiety has gone up during this period and in general my mood has become unstable the last  days have been unbearably miserable ive been feeling agonizingly alone and lost hes gone to school  work multiple semesters since weve been together so this should be nothing for me to react with such extreme distress over i have been seeing a therapist weekly and am truly trying to take her coping advice to heart and do my best but these episodes are truly some of the lowest ive ever feltif anyone has taken rexulti and had a similar experience with it id really like to hear from you so i can try and figure things out since its the newest thing ive been taking and my dose just changed i am suspecting its contributing to my episodes ,3.0
48286,abcece lol good luck with that i miss yogurt land ,2.0
48287,stuck in peak traffic on way to airport  so late quoti couldnt eat anymore but i am so sad that its overquotpkd  ,2.0
48288,goodmorning im here getting some work done no wiifit for me this morning  i wanted my relaxing yoga time,2.0
48289,mysovereign i can only see a bit of your haireverything else is covered by updates ,2.0
48290,drunkstreetho bitch get on msnim bored ,2.0
48291,this is so sad can we,2.0
48292,you canquott be beat if you refuse to play the game ,0.0
48293,pembsdave lawks you are on form  honestly i am horrified sort of well no,0.0
48294,is laid looking at my computer screen through my hands cos my head hurts baaaddd  cheer me up,2.0
48295,if anyone needs a friend or help or to vent or anything feel free to message just want to help people out there and know sometimes you just need someone to talk to,3.0
48296,bad boys bad boys what you gonna do what you gonna do when the swedish house mafia comes for you  hihih just funny  ,0.0
48297,is craving a pack of crisps but im on a diet  lol,2.0
48298,dont want to continue the last  years have been absolute hell for me luckily for me i had a women in my life that i loved amp was there for me unfortunately she left me last week amp nothing has been the same the day after she broke up with me my aunt a mother figure in my life ended her life without any warning in addition to that about a year ago i lost my only sibling he decided to end his life without telling anyone why just like my aunt with all of this ive had a hard time with things that used to be so easy for me such as working out feeling a sense of motivation in my studies and socializing through all of this with my brother i had my girl by my side but now that shes gone i feel nothing but sadness no matter what i do or who i hangout with i am overwhelmed by the darkness in my head at this point i cant help but feel like the pain is too much for me to handle amp i just want it to go away i am reaching out to a community that i dont know i am unsure of what i want from this post but i dont know what else to do,3.0
48299,  mate we need all the banter still so lookingforward to the new site  enjoy your painting,0.0
48300,opinion wanted please is it just a phase i dont expect anyone to reply but i feel like putting my thoughts into words would helpmaybe its just teenager shit but i used to never cry as a kid and i used to pride myself on that now im a mess i take everything too seriously and i cry so easily its so embarrassing today has just been a low point for me so id like opinions and advice basically i had two exams on wed and thurs music the end to the torture of going up to bray to play the viola being honest i thought i did fairly alright well maybe not but last friday my bf came back home from across the country he goes college somewhere else so i got to meet up with him well there was a lot of tension between me and my parents when i got into the car not a word was said between us and i tried to brush it off but it still makes me tear up to this day and today i just burst into tears in front of my friends when they were making fun of me like they always do is it just because ive been lacking sleep and its a phase and what do i do with parents who dont approve of the relationship parents who are like obstacles,3.0
48301,on our way for real to kings dominion woo  its beautiful today,0.0
48302,holy shibnits hey there delilah just went on tv oh its what you do to me oh its what you do to meeeeeeeee ,0.0
48303,ure did akon throw anyone in the crowd yesterday ,0.0
48304,exeye your lost blackberry just called me im going to go get it ,0.0
48305,i have alot of bestfriends haha  sleeping over at sams house woohoo ,0.0
48306,ha everybody is saying goodnight to twitter heycassadee twitterroos selenagomez night  umm ok thats itnight,0.0
48307,megzytred they did leave part of their vehicle at the scene but not the license plate ,2.0
48308,saw the xmen movie  ,0.0
48309,calling it a quotnightquot abt an hour early  all brain activity will be prorogued until further notice  happy journeying everyone  x,0.0
48310,fartingpen i am even faster posting a comment now ,0.0
48311,mrmarty and because of that ive made lots of new and valued friends ,0.0
48312,these s pornnames are gone  twitter succeeded  therefore i quotunlockedquot my account again,0.0
48313,my sister graduates tomorrow ,2.0
48314,metalouise yes she is ,2.0
48315,glennbeck do they make microphone tape from bandaids ,0.0
48316,when i tell you depression is real  its the truth  youll never kno how i feel or what i been thru,0.0
48317,lets see need me some followers ,0.0
48318,rt medelmarr yeah u cute but are u good for my mental health,0.0
48319,my keys are lost in an elevator shaft ,2.0
48320, we been twitter u u dont twitter back im in cali now i get back tomarrow u no im moving out ,2.0
48321, it was a while agoill have  chk u out again ,0.0
48322,vermont redditors can anyone else from vermont give me some insight to mental health in this state i think im slowly heading towards needing an inpatient stay at a facility but i want to know what your experiences are if possible did you get the help you needed did you have to wait for forever to get a bed whats the bestworst place how were you treated by staff,3.0
48323,really idk how you do it  thanks for no crankiness amp rest  god you never cease to amaze me ,0.0
48324,eric ronnick looks a lot like brendon uriewell sometimes lol im hungry  if i were home i could just get something from the fridge ,2.0
48325,tynic rollernovocain  ryanlochte plzzz you all love me  haha and it was ryan that started it innocent,0.0
48326,why is it  so cold today ,2.0
48327,sunday sale fail how embarrassing ,2.0
48328,starzappa true that and of course im going  no stopping me now ,0.0
48329,mexicanfrommars well well just have to get you a bumper sticker to make up for the hard to see n come out to an insite night ,0.0
48330,markbriggeman ill muster the courage at some point ,0.0
48331,just ended my nightly phonecall with the bf i miss him   more days till we see each other for the weekend,2.0
48332,samantharonson  rub it in lol being in oz we have to wait for its arrival out here or download it,2.0
48333,sinus pressure is making my face hurt something hella fierce ,2.0
48334,baychildcare poor starving pug  ,2.0
48335,baesballstan this is depression hour at its finest😔,2.0
48336,rt dsiempred que cara de sueño más bonita ,2.0
48337,louiss new nickname is podwee ,0.0
48338,bigenya nice seeing you again too  thanks for all the help ,0.0
48339,first cup of coffee since friday morning coffee never tasted so good finally feeling better ,0.0
48340,kinda stressedgot to do miss king organization thing and i forgot to do mrta examdang other than i was about to buy another dog ,0.0
48341,i do think that this college work is utter shit  ,2.0
48342,i want a iphone ,2.0
48343,rahrah foxy ohi want fur now ,2.0
48344,im so sad ☹️,2.0
48345,i cannot believe that i dont have a single thing in my house to relieve pain ,2.0
48346,hopeless ventingive had depression and anxiety for  years now since i was  ive only had three jobs and now at  my longest job retail was  months i quit every job ive ever had because my mental health couldnt take the stress im not and never have been a people person and i like working alone a lot better than working in a group even in school i was that wayim upset though because i havent had friends since  not even acquaintances my coworkers tolerated me and would openly make plans even with new employees and my each of my ex best friends manipulated varying ways im sick of feeling down low energy and just plain worthless i cant hold a job i hate people and im never happy i frequently fantasize about being hospitalized for a few months to see who really cares about me sorry for the long post,3.0
48347,ugotgimmicked i knowww    so tell me whats the deal with the red wings,0.0
48348,rejoicing over pacmans win but totally disappointed about the feds loss  ,2.0
48349,thanks but im gonna head up with one of the cast members ,0.0
48350,at ericas house responding to emailsmessages then headed to the pool for some qt with the cuzzos and homeboy before i leave saturday ,2.0
48351,ahhh cnt sleepeven with the bf here ,2.0
48352,i miss yaviei hope she gets better soon ,2.0
48353,i cant handle this pain anymore i have been dealing with depression over the past  years but never have i felt such deep emotional pain i cant stop cryingim approaching the end of the third month of my hospitalization i have tried medication ect talk therapyim so scared itll never go away i dont need happiness success wealth just let me be healthy enough emotionally so i can function not even for myself but for the people i love the people who need me ,3.0
48354,anxiety is the worst i feel so alone,1.0
48355,gregmhodges hey cuz no unfortunately we are not coming out for the wedding we looked into it but its just too expensive right now ,2.0
48356,pfspleen ive just stopped dashing round the flat like a maniac  morning mate ,0.0
48357,terrified and scared of whats coming im legit so scared and terrified that im about to be evicted and homeless my rent is due on wednesday and i have no way of getting the money to pay it so im feeling like im about to have to get use to the idea of being homeless or evicted i had to spend  to get my car fixed i need it for work and then my asthma prescriptions and now i have no rent money because i dont get paid for two weeksmy family is not an option and ive tried everything my friends begging on twitter local charities and nothing has worked out   loans arent an option and i dont have a credit card my landlord said i have to have it by wednesday or evictions starti feel so hopeless and desperate right now can someone please just tell me its going to be okay or give me some advice ive never felt this low or freaked out in my whole life  i just dont know what im going to do,3.0
48358,now to wait then bed ,0.0
48359,nice hello finals la ,0.0
48360,rt rockyelgogari yeah youre cute but are you good for my mental health,0.0
48361,i hate living with my sister my anxiety is acting so badly rn lmao,2.0
48362,paperkites welcome back ,0.0
48363,im so unmotivated i dont think i have ever felt this unmotivated in my entire life things are going kind of well in my life when we leave out my mental health status i just moved and am starting a new life and everything is seemingly going well for me that being said i hate that i am unable to enjoy it due to my depression i am so unmotivated and tired all the time i hate that i want to do so many things and that i am getting the opportunities to do them but it becomes so hard for me to do sohow do you deal with the lack of motivation and energy and that weird numb feeling cause i am drowning in it over here,3.0
48364,need to do english coursework tomorrow but its gonna be sunny may put it of again  jonas film again tomorrow ,0.0
48365,firestarteraxel ack  but its not like i can open my phone while being tied up xp besides you know you think im cute ,2.0
48366,champsuperstar youll be fiiine ,0.0
48367,pre recording dickheads ,0.0
48368,off to the radio station nowanother day ,0.0
48369, everytime you quote hot fuzz i want to watch it sad that i know what youre quoting even when you dont say  hot fuzz rules,0.0
48370,encouragement needed  months ago i moved with my boyfriend to an incredibly tiny town in a new state  hours away from my hometown money has been tight and the weather has been cold and snowy this has prevented me from being able to get my  horses moved up here horseback riding is my kind of therapy i havent found a job yet and my days are eat sleep clean repeat its gotten to the point where i dont even want to get out of bed on the morning i dont know anyone here aside from his family just need some encouraging words or advice ive struggled with depression my whole life but i havent been this low in a long time,3.0
48371,agentdgw i like the help tech wallpaper man  nice going ,0.0
48372,jamisonkelly the preview doesnt show the changes i made to the css  wordpress,2.0
48373,no more ninjaing till forever how can i survive  tell me howww,2.0
48374,i keep putting off my work for class tomorrow i took like a four year ago year in college and i am struggling i just cant get in the groove i used to take adderall but i dont want to take it anymore also not prescribed for the better i keep waiting to do my work at the last minute and im just looking at it and sobbing i cant find the willpower to just do my work keep looking on reddit or watching netflix while watching the clock quickly go by my class is in  hours and i havent done anything its not much work but i already know im going to have shitty sleep at this point i hate that i do this to myself,3.0
48375,i need advice im  years old and i dont know if i really have depression but i spend a lot of time crying to myself and i seem to just keep all my emotions locked up inside me i tell myself i have no friends and everyone hates me and i think its true i sometimes have really dark thoughts as well please comment to help me,3.0
48376,sheilafightseb i do specific ones ,0.0
48377,kenzielee  the office on a sunday ,2.0
48378,going home today ,2.0
48379,writing my english paper ,2.0
48380,im going bed i dnt feel well as always ,2.0
48381,watching the eelen degeneres show while breakfast so funny love her to dead ,0.0
48382,so i really hate packing  but it has to get done,2.0
48383,treeincally coffee sounds like a great thing i should brew a pot  would love to sit down to a great coffee wcha,0.0
48384,just getting ready to go bak to skool again ,2.0
48385,gahhh i dont know if this is the right place for this but im willing to try anything at this point slightly nsfw im dramatic and im exhausted of feeling like a victim  this is what runs through my head on a regular basisim  and before i linked up with my gf in high school i had tremendous charisma and confidence  after we broke up which was on my own accord people kept telling me that they thought i had changed  i wasnt the confident guy that they once knew  easy enough  i just pointed my finger at my ex gf and said it was her fault  moving forward i never had a problem getting a gf and maintaining a relationship as long as i wanted it except for one occasion which took me several years to fully completely let go to the universei did fail out of university but completed a trade school program that has opened some very lucrative job positions which leads me to why i am writing today i started off my career as a bedside nurse and i hated just about everything about it except for the initial excitement of getting the job  after  months it was clear that i was on a chopping block for getting fired for making mistakes and cutting corners so i was proactive and applied for a different position that utilized my nursing background but got me away from that facet of the industry   i did pretty well and enjoyed it   months later i was head hunted to a new company where i was let go after  months the reasoning was that i was overly flirtatious cocky and narcissistic i am a salesman in a woman dominated field  im not going to say i wasnt flirty  but cocky is a very subjective term and i am very very far from narcissistic  this world owes me nothingi was devastated and blamed this on that fact that it was reverse sexism  i then opened up my own business and ran it for  years successfully  i had an affairseveral but got caught on the last one which obviously lead to a series of events causing me to have to sell  during this time i had opened a second business with business partner who often referred to me as a leach towards the end  he sued me for my portion of the business then began a social media bullying campaign against me  all of this lead me to leave facebook which i was ok with anywayi found reddit instead all of these events caused me to lose a lot of clientsfriends which hurt but there are a handful that have stuck by mei went back into the field i was in before i opened my business  the first company i joined was ok  but i could tell the hammer was coming down on me  and in that time i was recruited to a company that is outright awful to its employees  everyone warmed me not to go but the pay increase was staggering and im young so i took it   well i got written up last friday and i have just spiraled down again  i am having a hard time waking up and getting out of bed  im not sleeping well  i feel like i have got punched in the stomach  i always feel this underlying sense of laziness and i always feel like i can work harder  i see people around me who manipulate and lie to stay where they are and they dont produce   they feed off of throwing others under the bus and i just cant bring myself to do that so this begs the question  what the fuck is wrong me why do i always feel lazy  why do i always feel the need to get some strange in the bedroom  why do i not feel normal,3.0
48386,okay tweet friends been away on two amazing callsthanks for all the twitter love and replies  im getting to them now  ,0.0
48387,had tons of fun with my cousin but really wish she didnt have to go back home to iowa ,2.0
48388,ok i give up on the chat thing too let me go check out the breakfast club wear by ddub ,0.0
48389,just took some in my opinion amazing pics for my photo challenge from screamdeafenin ,0.0
48390,got to witness anna breaking the vegetarian streak but now i have sweet tea with nasal origins all over my front seat still worth it ,0.0
48391,says when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile  ,0.0
48392,from artwhirled nice post a good advice  art  ,0.0
48393,chanloo fuckedupplacetohavesex on ya moms bed while shes in it ,2.0
48394,xxmisserinxx updated forever also new mibba username joe jonas ,0.0
48395,performing gives  much anxiety i hope ,1.0
48396,will be in ny from friday to sunday  so excited    catch yall sunday nightunless the blackberry calls to me too much,0.0
48397,swikey haha okay i feel much better now lets just dye our hair paramore red ,0.0
48398,the cutest thing ever my niece niamh fking threw my phone in the pond out the back ,2.0
48399,markandjames i cant wait to hear this new song ,0.0
48400,cant sleep and stressed with minor chest painsgoodnight everyone ,2.0
48401,baby mishel is down wif running nose amp sore throat my poor girl went to the doctors yday hope she getas beta soon ,2.0
48402,going to bed without a  jailbreak update ,2.0
48403,check out the coolest pic ever on myspacecomcaseycarterradio add me as a friend as well if you havent ,0.0
48404,hears the villages quotdeath bellsquot ringing for someone who has passed away ,2.0
48405,is having a wank day ,2.0
48406,jehllai hahaha my boyfriend yeah he looked so different there but hes so cute i so want to watch the movie ,0.0
48407,holmahenkel sorry the nondisclosure agreement will have me up to my neck in soldierants the second i even mime a technical detail ,0.0
48408,putting away clothes  ugggghhhh,2.0
48409,blasting generation by simple plan in all my sp gear these are the days i live for ,0.0
48410,cant do this anymore im so far into this abyss of crippling sadness and numbness with absolutely no one to turn to the memories good and bad crowd my brain every second where peace is non existent ive had cycles of depression and suicide attempts or geastures more sobut nothing like this im too far in this cycle of sadness i have no choice but to off myself nothing else matters or ever will matter the only thing that matters right now is how jumping into the ocean with weights tied to me which will be assisted by a toxic dose of xannax and be at the location of some beautiful memories or i could just use a helium tank and go for that method all in all im done i tell you its such a bittersweet feeling knowing that ill be gone soon i need help so bad but i dont want to get better i just want to die so bad its almost killing me instead,3.0
48411,ejcanita evening basketball practice on a saturday weeeeeh ,0.0
48412,beyondd upset no city tonight ,2.0
48413,xenoyinzer penskeone sheenatyner sooprock foxnews christopherhahn potus ingrahamangle youre right trumps ,0.0
48414,aussieali daggy indeed we can tweet all night australian tweeters wont get anything of ours ,0.0
48415,on a management training course all day ,2.0
48416,not wanting to hang out with friends granted i moved to a new city a year ago ive always had this push pull feeling in my gut about my friendships throughout my life i feel bored with some of my friends and dont wanna hang out sometimes its because i dont want to make the effort ive noticed ive become agitated with my friends who like to talk about more emotional issues and im wondering if this display of vulnerability causes me to lose respect for them but anyway ive found that ive grown annoyed by their voice and have been avoiding them on the other hand it seems like im more excited in making new friends and learning about other people in other parts of my life could i have an avoidant personality disorder does this happen to you guys i feel terrible bad person,3.0
48417,i cant bring myself to tell my family that im mentally ill i am not sure if im even depressed i get the same feeling someone a month ago described perfectly on here i cant bring myself to tell anyone really that theres something wrong with me my best friend kind of knows whats up but we never talk about it i just cant bring myself to have a serious talk to my parents and tell them that they raised a faliour im scared that they will either tell me that its not real or they go apeshit and want to check me in to a psyc ward the second they know how some schoolfriends know im depressed but i have the feeling that they dont belive it that im just saying that to get attention i really see no future for me and i dont know how long i can hide all the pain from everyone before i collapse im scared,3.0
48418, yeah your right lets just hope that its not the virus  if so i hope the others are cured ,2.0
48419,packing is soooo overwhelming and i have to pack a house ,2.0
48420,is back at home  today was a very mind blowing day  new knowledge acquired ,0.0
48421,felipegomes show hein a gol não tem  gol fail,2.0
48422,ok so i had a not so brillant idea to go to the store before the rainmade it  streets only to be blinded by the rainback home now ,2.0
48423,now even our local beerrly in woe of strike due  labour woes  well not much on me,2.0
48424,im about done here why is all of this so funny ive stopped feeling angry at the world ive stopped feeling in general its like my emotions have taken a nosedive for the worst all of this bullshit building up over the past few months is finally starting to look like a joke like all of this is some fucking joke and its so funny i havent talked to anyone in weeks i havent felt anything in months i am starting to teeter o can feel myself slipping away and i dont care anymore i have sat for hours crying in my car because my boss wont fucking understand it wont start i have been unemployed for two months living on the couch of a friend who im pretty sure is starting to see me as a nuisance all the interviews ive gone to all of the jobs ive applied for its like i cant fucking catch a break anymore ive been living off of the scraps from their dinners for months ive sat there hungry wondering why i even try i got told by my brother to kill myself and that he would stomp on my grave over a pair of headphones and i laughed for ten solid minutes i woke up this morning promising myself that i would do better but i can never get better ive been doomed from the start its not the worlds fault its my fault i dont know how long i can do this until i snap and just end it im going to wake up tomorrow to do the same goddamned thing wake up lay around call places to no avail and go to sleep knowing im still in that hole i think im done here,3.0
48425,im finally getting help my appointment is wednesday im nervous because of the last time i went to a doctor for my mental health  i cant afford that now but i also cant afford  to not go get something for the depression my kids need me i cant be checking out like i did yesterday holidays are always hard,3.0
48426,fucking gwar man ,2.0
48427,good night twitters blessings my bed is calling me to sleep and dream all night long ,0.0
48428,how do i stop being resentful good afternoonresentment is starting to get in the way of what would otherwise be basic problem solving whenever i cant figure a way out of something i start ruminating back on my shitty upbringing awful education system and bullying i could get to details but i dont think they are that relevant i ruminate on how these things hindered my overall development then it becomes a loop where i feel miserable all the timei believe i have good reasons to feel this way i worked my ass off as much as possible but im still crippled by basic reasoning and social adjustment problems no matter how much i practice i pretty much slaved myself to authority figures to see if i could have a decent future but it turns out i was just being manipulated and used they never gave a shit about menonetheless i want to be the better person in this whole mess so i wanted to know your suggestions on how i can solve my problems without being haunted by these things i take care of hygiene and eat well i do exercise but maybe not enoughnot the correct exercises sleeping is hit or miss would something like meditation helpthank you,3.0
48429,oh yea i did it  i did it claps allround,0.0
48430,really lost need help but dont know where to start so im  years old out of a real job and been looking for one for a while now living of my parents help in exchange for little to no work im losing my teeth i was transitioning but stopped doing hrt i used some of my treatment money to try to fix my teeth but it was not enough and now im nowhere near fixing them and out of resources to continue all of this added to a feeling that im not where i wanted to be at this stage of my life that i havent accomplished nothing substantial and that im losing all of what i did have because of my desperate need to be more   its a weird thing even though i know im not alone i feel the people around me have had enough of me and my depression i feel a lot of people see me as a loser and look down on me and some others are just annoyed at me but dont act on it im losing hope on myself ive done research on suicide and how to do all that stuff yet i know i wont do it even though i feel its for the best since theres no way im going to get back to achieving happiness or any form of self appreciation how do you guys deal with this kind of feelings how does one come back to being a normal person and recovers some sense of hope in life i have this weird feeling of nostalgia for a time in life when i wasnt actually happy but i also wasnt this lost its like i feel people used to appreciate me more when i was pretending to be someone i wasnt back then when i was a cisgender male funny guy when i did accomplish stuff yet i was broken from not being true to myself then i began to become myself and i was happier and was still riding the wave of my accomplishments but then it all crashed down i dug a huge hole and i cant see the light anymore will people even care or will it be for the best to leave all behind close my eyes and thats it end it all why cant i do it what the fuck am i even doing who am i kidding   i dont know if this is the way to post this kind of stuff it feels to me like a nonsensical rant but i mostly want to lay it all out in a public space as a some kind of way to be heard i know i need to go to therapy but even asking people or looking for one feels uncomfortable dont even know why knowing you need professional help but refusing to look for it please talk to me just for a little while here on the open just to take a breath thats all for the moment that may help idk,3.0
48431,bigmanoren oh my gosh  im so happy for you ,0.0
48432,for the first time told a teacher what my believes where about death she just made fun of me for the rest of the day for thinking life has no ultimate meaning and that we are living to die and as we die everything we have built will break down after a few years she made fun of me infront of the whole class after opening up for the first time in forever  i hate everyone,3.0
48433, my rain song ive sung it with mirah amp uploaded it  bunnypuffs vs mirah  lucky little shark   enjoooy,0.0
48434,rt artfeeiing what anxiety feels like ,1.0
48435,babygirlsomajor u can only take what you let yourself to   just words of wisdom,0.0
48436,gunna have a good day shane and danny are coming with me tonight to get my tat ,0.0
48437,helpamotherout thanks for the mention on ff  if i were homei woulda returned the favor ,2.0
48438,i dont like this random gloomy weather ,2.0
48439,laughing at everything after stopping lexapro i started lexapro for gad social anxiety and mild depression i also got diagnosed with add but no meds i got to  and realized that it doesnt really work and im still anxious af so i decided to taper to  and after a week stopped completely im on holidays so i cant see my psychiatristi have brain zaps but not much elsenow i laugh a lot its like stupid uncontrollable laughter at jokes and random not really that funny stupid shit that might be normal for some but i pretty much never really find much funnyanyone know why,3.0
48440,is enjoying me some nevershoutnever ,0.0
48441,prairiecitygirl kk was the first photog i shot with when i  moved here  small world hey,0.0
48442,diordeewoods its actually  minutesi flew there from here  ,0.0
48443,rt outerjeon if a student gets  something out of  and yet they are crying and calling it a bad grade chances are they are not overr,2.0
48444,the reason why people end their life i know what its like to feel that ending it is the natural next step how fd up is that that thinking suicide is the next step like it makes sense to end it that moment is what prompted me to reach out and talk to someone but not everyone has that insight when theyre that deep in the dark murky little hole we label as depression like a cave that lures you in slowly making you think that following it into the darkness is the way to goive heard people say that suicide is selfish but having been close to that edge ill tell you right now people who are contemplating death arent thinking on a level where emotions or standard logic even really apply were just thinking how do i get out of this hole whats the next step and the darkness is what answers its sinister like a siren calling sailors to the sea so it isnt really a choice that we make you can call them selfish but people dont just one day become depressed and then boom theyve taken their life like screw you family and friends no theyre impaired it takes months if not years of feeling as though youre up to your knees in mud surrounded by a thick soundabsorbent fog  so it takes a while and by that time their mind and emotions are just a tangled unrecognizable web so its not that they dont care its just that nothing is rational at that pointother times ya it can be more sudden like is a person just isnt equipped to handle stress at all things might compile quickly and then instead of looking for an exit at the front or back they take the ejection hatch instead because the front and back doors still have more problems do you see what i mean but chronic depression thats more debilitating because its every single day and life never stops they arent given time navigate whats hurting them and if a number of things happen before being able to heal from the last insult it becomes cumulative it snowballs so if you ever see someone who strikes you as though they might be struggling just show them love even from a stranger something as simple as holding a door open and smiling at them can be all it takes i mean dont assume theyre thinking of taking their own life but everyone appreciates a random thoughtful gesture so theres no harm in a gesture even if youre not right about it but if by chance they are struggling its those small seemingly insignificant gestures can be all it takes to remind them that hey there is a light here it is and its in the opposite direction the darkness is coaxing them even if that light appears dim to them at the time now its there it makes them remember theres another path behind them they heard your call albeit muffled but thats the pivotal point right theremost people dont just pop out of it it took them a while to get there so its going to take a while to get them back out and it is going to take a ton of effort for them to trudge all the way back so turning back around has to seem worth it because theyve used up all their energy for so long already theyre depleted so you need to trickle charge them one day at a time gentle persistenceits when people never experience an interjection of light the people who forgot there even was another path thats when they do it they continue into the darkness and to them it just makes sense because theyre welcomed by the dark its inviting and it feels right good almost so they follow it,3.0
48445,i really hate the human tendency to make fun of people or take pleasure in peoples suffering it seems to be everywhere though and i cant escape it unless isolate myself from humanity which would also make me unhappy i dont get this why do i dislike people but also feel bad without social connection,3.0
48446,rt xniqxh u think depression is attention seeking wait till you get one ,2.0
48447,i got a kindle happy bday to me love my family ,0.0
48448,rt veganelff rt if youre a vegan and your  omega  and vitamin d levels are perfectly fine ,0.0
48449,exhausted work begins again tomorrow ,2.0
48450,there was a robbery at my home today lost a handycam ,2.0
48451,alyankovic quoti cant hear you  okay i can hear you nowquot  one of my alltime favourites thats cheered me up this morning ,0.0
48452, aw man it was great gosh whyd he have to quit right when i could stay up and watch it  oh well conans cool and jimmy,2.0
48453, how long have you been living in dubai and do you miss mumbai apart from the chaotic traffic ,0.0
48454,rt nasirpasir johan nora kenapa tak buat kiki challengenora danish nanti depression kena kecamzizan jangan risau kalau kita d,2.0
48455,sumthn has bit ma leg and possibly ma foot itchy ,2.0
48456,feel lonely but you arent so to start this off i do see a counselor on a regular basis and am married to a social worker cause ironyi used to have friends until about the summer of last year that i could talk to on a regular basis but they they moved or took different jobs and trying to talk to them gets harder and harder some of these friends tied me to more people to interact with and they called me their friend but they couldnt handle me for some reason and then one day none of them would talk to me anymore and essentially ghosted mei used to also have a group of friends i used to game with for online games this group has since fallen apart with infighting and i fell like i dont connect to them anymore cause they moved onto their friends that they had outside of the groupso in order to fill this hole i took to streaming and trying to make new friends online i also tried to make friends at work as wellthe streaming has gone nowhere i have joined some people and communities but i always feel i am on the outside looking in i dont get that feeling on i belong i try to join things but fail to get told when things actually happen so i can participate its like last one to get picked but never actually getting pickedthis is the same for trying to make real life friends as well i am often not invited to an event even though i hear about it and know its going onalso i am alone with my work i do my own thing and am on my own i have to stand up for myself and be a jerk i hate being a jerk worse feeling in the worldi am a nice guy even if socially awkward at times i make sure to look out for people cause nobody ever looked out for me when i was younger and contemplated suicide and homicide often i feel just used and abused for being this nice guy and left when people get annoyed with mei do have my wife and family with should make me feel loved and alone but i feel they dont understand my feelings so in this way i am loved but still feel alone my counselor says i like the person interaction and need it i just cant find it i am spiraling and i can feel it not toward suicide or that nature just depression,3.0
48457,laurenfisher obey the last fm algorithm maybe it would turn out you really do like scooter if you gave him a chance ,0.0
48458,lost another pound down a whole  pounds and it took me  months oh well it should stay off then right ,0.0
48459, i thought wales was always sunny ,0.0
48460,counting the days ,0.0
48461,i dont care about anything anymore fuck it all i really dont care about anything anymore ive been depressed for over a decade have never had any real friends im ugly as sin never even really talked to a girl in my life besides my mother or my sister im  years old and im not even in college nor do i have my license yet i dont have the want to do it i just dont care anymore then add on the state this country and the world is in global warming eventually going to make us all go extinct our president being a complete wacko etc why should i give a fuck i work a dead end retail job everyday and make nothing this is life i used to be somewhat creative i liked to draw and make music write scripts to movies based off ones that i had seen now i cant read music or anything but id just go off ideas in my head and use software to sketch them out i wasnt even really good at any of that but i used to have the motivation to do it now im just a numb pile of redundant protoplasm i even wanted to get into politics at one point now thats all dead and im just sitting alone in my room with no social contacts at all besides my therapist what good shes doing i dont know i dont remember things well anymore so good luck trying to have a conversation with me if you really wanted to based off of something i just heard or read in the paper im at the point where im about to say fuck it all fuck this world im starting to think that i want out but im too cowardly to do anything and to afraid that i wont succeed,3.0
48462,day  of summer school ,2.0
48463,chillin in the crib bored out my mind  someone rescue me ,2.0
48464,as reported by jedwhite there are definitely more pcs than macs i noted that the majority of people with pc are using mouse  ,0.0
48465,would love to be in berlin tonighet to see royksopp sold out  if you have a spare ticket i�ll jump on a flight ,0.0
48466,rt coconutoilbae when you want to be friends w ppl but ppl think ur mean and unapproachable cus u have a resting bitch face and soci ,1.0
48467,anyone else cover themselves with tattoos they regret i believe after too many fails at life you just are ready to throw in the tile so things are temporary and this one is permanent so will say just get a laser removal or cover up but that wont help making permanent decisions at a young age just fucked my life in so many ways i dont know how i got this low in my life but i am tired of the pain and just want it to be over,3.0
48468,nogot a message saying my phone disconnected and sync cancelledno need to try again ,2.0
48469,not being able to control your negative thoughts is also a warning sign of depression,2.0
48470,you cant enjoy sunny days without these rainy days  dane cook    rest of dane cook isolated incident amp crashingg,0.0
48471,majorly alone so fucking isolated by debt food intolerances queerness shitty family relations  i feel so alone and im afraid to open up to anyone in the real world,3.0
48472,im up far too early but i have had breakfast for once im hoping it will halp me in rs exam  xx,2.0
48473,rt humansofny i dont think im going to miss eighth grade its been a tough year a lot of my friends are struggling with depr ,1.0
48474,happy mothers day ,0.0
48475,having the greatest weekend ever  ,0.0
48476,hates braces cant eat well  ,2.0
48477,start making money online the easy way   i made  today already ,0.0
48478, bioominghope so sad😢,2.0
48479,our trading software will trade for you  hours non stop no emotion no panic no stress only winning system btc fx ea,1.0
48480,jeasangels 😂😂😂😂 chelax bunso wag pka stress nkaka pangit yanwalang pangit na enshaha😂😂😂😉😉,2.0
48481,i feel a bit queasy after reading about nabby adams breast cancer such a sad story ,2.0
48482,  me and lindz with our poupee characters p did i tell you im addicted to games atm ,0.0
48483,digestive issues this post maybe a little gross for some but i just wanted to gauge what percentage of people here have digestive issues i for one have terrible constipation and i get noticeable relief in mental clarity and mood when i take a boat load of magnesium oxide which pretty much cleans me all out but the depressed mood and mental fogginess return when i get backed up again i understand there has been a lot of research linking gut health to brain health but i have been having trouble remediating the problems in my gut so have you experienced digestive issues if so has treating your digestive issues helped your depression ,3.0
48484,tommcfly hope you get the correct thing other than granola and boiling milk ,0.0
48485,lol im so sad,2.0
48486,andyvglnt great stuff congrats no doubt ill be seeing you around more come september ,0.0
48487,i just woke up ahhh i missed school ,2.0
48488,im in a rut ,2.0
48489,i wanted a kitty named rajah more than anything ,2.0
48490,pixelmatrix because i cant see it colorblind fail ,2.0
48491,as soon as i sit down people move away from me whenever i sit down in my dorm commons the people nearby always congregate as far away from me as possible or leave in an attempt to drive me away i cant take it anymore part of me wants to ask them why do they do this but i dont want to seem petty maybe it would be easier if i just left the dorm or ended my life and blamed it on them ignoring me,3.0
48492,writing subtitles for paskvil  special anyone wants to help with translation no you dont have to watch it just translate text ,0.0
48493,rt zenniverse disgusting to say such things about a national cca religion and suicide how do people like you exist welthefuck https,1.0
48494,great the first customer was this snotnosed teenage boy who put me in a worse mood ugh ,2.0
48495,brightondoll omg bb i love your new picture  its gorgeous  ontd,0.0
48496,mileycyrus you saved my life you taught me life lessons yet ive still never met yougotten a reply  i love you miley ☮♥,2.0
48497,have been nominated for best new irish act award on balconytvcom  delighted ,0.0
48498,boooom goes the lightning just dropped the cat off to have her fangs yanked  poor girl a storm on top of being terrified by the carvet,2.0
48499,my break from cleaning turned into ill get to it tomorrow ,0.0
48500,no one really cares i always have family telling me that if im feeling depressed to reach out i do but they barely respond to any texts or calls it would be better if they said nothing at all,3.0
48501,missraymarshall lol enjoy i have to fly to atl at  in the freakin am friday to head off to korea i hate super early flights ,2.0
48502,rt madlams depression took my niece this afternoon i am so broken by this my baby couldnt go on anymore 💔 ,1.0